What sort of things do you think about during sex besides the obvious things, like how it feels good, etc? Do you think about other people? If you found out your significant other was thinking about other women while having sex with you, how would you react?

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I'm not sure what I would feel if my fiance was thinking about someone else. I mean, I would think that if you are thinking about someone else during sex, you shouldn't be with them, but this may well be normal. I've never experienced that, however. I'm always thinking about how much I love my fiance. I get really intense feelings of love for him....And since we pretty much look into each other's eyes unless it is impossible, it would be really difficult to think of anything else but one another.

So other than the obvious I can contribute this oddity...when i work nights (as a nurse) and my bofriend wakes me up for nookie (when i've only been asleep a couple of hours), it really confuses me. i know what's goin' on, but i find myself thinking "which patient is this for?"

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I'm not really "thinking" during sex because it's such a primal and purely physical act. Therefore there's not a lot of thinking going on. It's all feeling. I've asked my boyfriend what he thinks about (if anything) during sex, and he said that he's mostly concentrating on business of having sex, not coming too soon, etc, to be thinking about much of anything.

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I used to fantasize about scenarios I'd seen in porn when my ex was performing oral on me, and I'd sometimes think about having sex with other guys during the act. Our sex life left a lot to be desired...so fantasy was almost a necessity in order for me to really enjoy myself.

I don't think you can really be with someone, share any sort of spiritual or emotional connection, during sex if you're thinking about someone else. It seems to me like it would be just another form of masturbation in that case.

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And I wasn't judging by asking. I swear. I've been pretty open and honest here about faithfulness, etc. Sometimes I think about the person I'm with and no one else. The times that rock are the times when I can't think of anyone or anything else but the here and now. Yummm....

During sex Im thinking of my partner.....if Im thinking at all.....depends on what we are doing at the time too...if Im going down on her I look for facial and body expressions as to when she will cum..if we are having IC and Im behind her...am definitely thinking what a sexy butt my wife has!

Wow guys, thanks for all your responses. The thing that sparked this conversation for me is that I found out that occasionally my boyfriend does think of other women during sex. I think I always assumed that he did every once in awhile but to actually have him admit it kind of threw me for a loop. I wasn't sure how to react to it - if I should be angry or understanding. I don't think of other people during sex, unless for some odd reason a thought like "Oh, I have to call Michael tomorrow" pops into my head, which is a rare occasion since the sex is usually so good that all I can think of is the sex.

But I'm not certain that because I don't do it doesn't mean that it's wrong for others to do it. But at the same time, I agree with what someone stated earlier - that it doesn't seem possible to maintain a tight, loving connection with your significant other during sex if they are thinking of someone else. To me, sex is something that two people who love and care for each other share and somehow, that love almost seems mocked if one of the participants is thinking about having sex with someone else.

I don't know...I guess I still am not sure how I want to deal with the admission. I asked my boyfriend out of the blue if he thought of other women during sex and he answered me honestly, so I suppose that's an honest thing. He could have lied through his teeth about it.

I'm against putting "thought rules and regulations"! Like Brad says, I don't divulge much about it, except here at SF. And I don't think us guys "try" to think during sex! It's just happens, like breathing! And I don't think it means you love your lady less if your mind flies to the moon and back with some wild ideas! And girls do do it too! I've had girls confess they had thoughts of being savaged by army troops, or the local priest; all kinds of things!

We have been married for over 22 years and these are my thoughts however feeble they may be. When I first started masturbating I found it was much better to fantasize about some sexy girl I knew or happened to see on TV. It never took much LOL. Ladies are so very sexy they just make you cum. Once I started having sex with the ladies I found that after a few encounters it was still a very big turn on to be with someone and have a fantasy while in the act. After marrige and raising two children we were adjusted to quickies as we had very little time. Now the kids are all grown and on their own we have alot of time to play and I still fantasize about other people. Mostly now its about another couple being with us or MFM, FMF threesomes but all include my wife as she is and always will be the apple of my eye.
This thread is indeed thought provoking as now I wonder if fantasizing during sex is simply conditioning by masturbation when young or something we need to keep the sex life exciting in long term realationships. Whichever it is I still enjoy it and have no plans to exclude it from our sex lives. The wife does it as well and we are very open about it and sometimes we share them with each other while we are having sex so we can help each other get to the place in extacy we both want to be...... sometimes we are almost savage and raw in our love making with no thought at all as to what we are doing, it can be very liberating because we both feel no expectations from the other at those times. Kinda kinky I guess but that is how I feel about it.....:bow All bow to the ladies for they are what we desire most......