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So I am 20 years old and my bf is 24. We have to beautiful girls. My problem is i have no sex drive! I fight all the time with him about sex. The common thing is why don't you come on to me anymore? I feel as if your not sexually attracted to me anymore and this hurts me. I have told my obgyn and she said there is nothing wrong with me. This normal, but is it? I don't know what to do. When we have sex though I think to myself why don't i do this more often! The doctor told me that it has to do with all the stress i have on me. I work part-time i am a full time college student and we have a 2year old and a 10 month old. I have tried to explain to him that stress is the reason why but he doesn't believe me. O. and I do all the house work too! I just don't know what to do anymore. I love him dearly but i don't think he knows that because i don't come on to him. I would love some advice

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8 Replies |Watch This Discussion | Report This| Share this:Is there something Wrong With Me?So I am 20 years old and my bf is 24. We have to beautiful girls. My problem is i have no sex drive! I fight all the time with him about sex. The common thing is why don't you come on to me anymore? I feel as if your not sexually attracted to me anymore and this hurts me. I have told my obgyn and she said there is nothing wrong with me. This normal, but is it? I don't know what to do. When we have sex though I think to myself why don't i do this more often! The doctor told me that it has to do with all the stress i have on me. I work part-time i am a full time college student and we have a 2year old and a 10 month old. I have tried to explain to him that stress is the reason why but he doesn't believe me. O. and I do all the house work too! I just don't know what to do anymore. I love him dearly but i don't think he knows that because i don't come on to him. I would love some advice

Have you suggested more help with the housework (and likely the care of these two little ones) might improve the situation?

Gail

Anon_22081 responded:

Try barganing with him! Just kind of do a playful type of bargain. Give him the ulitmatum of, Honey how bout you put the kids to bed so I can clean up and ill meet you in the bedroom in 10min! Or vice versa! But make it to where he is contributiing and that gives him just a glimpse of what you have to deal with on top of everything else your doing. Then once it comes to the bedroom let all that stress and tension go on him! Or let him take it out on you sexually.

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Report This| Share this:Is there something Wrong With Me?Try barganing with him! Just kind of do a playful type of bargain. Give him the ulitmatum of, Honey how bout you put the kids to bed so I can clean up and ill meet you in the bedroom in 10min! Or vice versa! But make it to where he is contributiing and that gives him just a glimpse of what you have to deal with on top of everything else your doing. Then once it comes to the bedroom let all that stress and tension go on him! Or let him take it out on you sexually.

Be blunt with him. If he doesn't pull his weight around the house (there is no reason why you shuold be doing everything) then you can't pull your weight in the bedroom. You are too tired to have a libido.

I also suggest that you find a way of going off for a weekend (a visit to your mother, perhaps) and leave him with the house and children to look after. It might open his eyes.

There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.

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Report This| Share this:Is there something Wrong With Me?Be blunt with him. If he doesn't pull his weight around the house (there is no reason why you shuold be doing everything) then you can't pull your weight in the bedroom. You are too tired to have a libido.

I also suggest that you find a way of going off for a weekend (a visit to your mother, perhaps) and leave him with the house and children to look after. It might open his eyes.

I work at night some days through the week so he has the girls then but He thinks i am lying when i say stress plays a key factor in why I don't want to do anything. I can tell my body is completely wore out. I also suffer from depression as well. I have tried over and over and over again to explain to him to help me. Even his own father told me before our second daughter was born that he better get his act together and start helping me. But...im still here. He has tried to help me but in his mind o. i did the dishes that means i get laid. WRONG-O! He needs to learn to keep up with it. I am contently on edge with him and he wonders why i have an attitude with him. It would be nice just to have time to myself besides at work. I would love to sleep in till noon too that would be AWESOME! That day will never come.

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Report This| Share this:Is there something Wrong With Me?I work at night some days through the week so he has the girls then but He thinks i am lying when i say stress plays a key factor in why I don't want to do anything. I can tell my body is completely wore out. I also suffer from depression as well. I have tried over and over and over again to explain to him to help me. Even his own father told me before our second daughter was born that he better get his act together and start helping me. But...im still here. He has tried to help me but in his mind o. i did the dishes that means i get laid. WRONG-O! He needs to learn to keep up with it. I am contently on edge with him and he wonders why i have an attitude with him. It would be nice just to have time to myself besides at work. I would love to sleep in till noon too that would be AWESOME! That day will never come.

Lets just say he doesn't believe me he thinks that its just an excuse i am using that i'm tired and that i'm stressed out which makes me tired which also makes me not to want to have sex. I have suggested what u told me to suggest for a long time. He has been trying (i guess) but he thinks well i did the dishes so tonight i can get laid. UGHH! lol its so frustrating

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Report This| Share this:Is there something Wrong With Me?Lets just say he doesn't believe me he thinks that its just an excuse i am using that i'm tired and that i'm stressed out which makes me tired which also makes me not to want to have sex. I have suggested what u told me to suggest for a long time. He has been trying (i guess) but he thinks well i did the dishes so tonight i can get laid. UGHH! lol its so frustrating

As previous suggested, leave for the weekend. Let him take total care of the children. See if he sees things in a new light when you come home at the end of the weekend (and no, you are not doing this to clean up after him).

Gail

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Report This| Share this:Is there something Wrong With Me?As previous suggested, leave for the weekend. Let him take total care of the children. See if he sees things in a new light when you come home at the end of the weekend (and no, you are not doing this to clean up after him).

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