Rob Getz

Rob Getz was born poor and ugly in rural Michigan to a horror fanatic father and an incredibly good sport of a mother. He and his younger siblings spent countless weekend evenings ushered off in their pajamas by their parents to a local drive-in movie theater, where they were assured to be completely unconscious before the opening credits of the second film were finished rolling. Rob vaguely recalls these blurred images launching such classics as Ridley Scott's "Alien" and "The Changeling" through drooping eyelids. As he became older, he took the initiative nobody else in the Getz household had the moxie nor the energy to attempt and learned how to program their antiquated V.C.R. to record heavily edited horror films from one of the four available channels. Without these nocturnal bootlegs, there would have been no youthful introduction to the likes of "Re-Animator" or "Eraserhead." Rob wanted to be a part of this twisted universe from those days forward, regardless of the role he played. The tiniest, most insignificant cog in a machine is truly happy if it adores the machine. Even a critic.

SYNOPSIS: The tale begins with Jonathan Harker, journeying by train and carriage from England to Count Dracula’s crumbling, remote castle situated in the Carpathian Mountains on the border of Transylvania. The purpose of his mission is to catalogue the big library of Dracula. At first enticed by Dracula’s gracious manner, Harker soon discovers that he has become a prisoner in …

SYNOPSIS: A Reverend begins his first day at his new parish only to be bitten by a vampire. His faith is soon tested when his thirst for blood and an encounter with a prostitute gives him a thirst for justice. REVIEW: “I kick arse for the Lord!” Every time a film involves men of the cloth battling the forces of …

SYNOPSIS: Five university friends gather at a house party to ring in the New Year. Unbeknownst to them, an epidemic has erupted outside, causing outbreaks around the world. REVIEW: I’ve said it before. One would be damning 97% of all horror films in existence if a lack of original content alone was enough to warrant unfavorable judgement. After all, there …

SYNOPSIS: A former beauty queen plots the death of her overbearing mother with the help of her pen-pal, a serial killer on death row. REVIEW: The resurgence of exploitation cinema has been met with mixed emotions and certainly mixed reviews. From Grindhouse releases to the lesser-known (and in this humble opinion, better) works of Richard Griffin and the wonky Canadian …

SYNOPSIS: Set in the not so distant future, in Any Town USA, sixteen year old Herman Howards makes a fateful decision. He enters his suburban school and kills thirty nine students, two teachers, and a police officer. Just before his arrest he emails his idol, famous journalist Lax Morales, sending him clips of the shootings captured with Herman’s own digital …

SYNOPSIS: After receiving a distressed phone call, a man arrives at a seedy highway motel to find that his estranged wife has killed a stranger who is connected to a dangerous cult. REVIEW: A man. A woman. A seedy motel room. A dead body. This scenario has launched so many entertainments throughout the years, it’s hard to imagine where it …

SYNOPSIS: The Crone is part of a Japanese horror project which also includes Norio Tsuruta’s Talk to the Dead and Koji Shiraishi’s Cult. Ayane, Nanami, and Mayuko are members of a new 3-member idol group called “Jersey Girl”. One day they’re invited to appear on a television show about the paranormal where they’ll visit an abandoned nursing home in the …

SYNOPSIS: The world has been devastated by a virus that has decimated the adult population leaving small children and teenagers to roam the scarred landscape attempting to form some kind of society with dramatic and violent results REVIEW: Artful horror is rarely ever uplifting material. Jim Mickle’s “We Are What We Are” and Jeremy Gardner’s “The Battery” were the two …

SYNOPSIS: A group of astronaut explorers succumb one by one to a mysterious and terrifying force while collecting specimens on Mars. REVIEW: Our little red neighbor residing just over the fence at 34 million miles away has been poorly represented in film since Arnold saved the mutants in 1990’s “Total Recall.” Even denying the pointless remake’s existence, you’re still left …

SYNOPSIS: A group of sorority girls are having a slumber party at their house. One of the new sorority girls is Leslie Borden, a descendant of the infamous Lizzie Borden family REVIEW: Never before has the query “What the hell did my editor get me into?” raced to the forefront of my thoughts so quickly as during the initial seconds …

SYNOPSIS: Two roommates deathly afraid of ghosts both fall in love with a girl who believes their home is haunted. REVIEW: There are those, who shall remain nameless because I don’t know any of them, that do not find the marriage of horror and comedy amusing. Like red state Republicans opining on same sex relations, it just isn’t natural to …

SYNOPSIS: The Parkers, a reclusive family who follow ancient customs, find their secret existence threatened as a torrential downpour moves into their area, forcing daughters Iris and Rose to assume responsibilities beyond those of a typical family REVIEW: Jim Mickle impresses more with each cinematic endeavor. His first feature as a writer/director, “Mulberry Street,” made its debut in the 2007 …

SYNOPSIS: A San Francisco cartoonist becomes an amateur detective obsessed with tracking down the Zodiac killer. REVIEW: We’ve all seen the title card before. Looming ominously on the silver screen, rarely ever a harbinger of the latest feel-good romcom. In fact, “Based on a true story” (or some interchangeable variation) is usually an indication that there will be murder afoot. The guidelines …

SYNOPSIS: Based on a true story, three friends set out on a road trip to Broome, Australia. During a planned stop to the Wolf Creek Meteorite Crater, their entire trip takes a turn for the worst when they meet a local man who offers to help the group when they find their car broken down with no rest stop in …

SYNOPSIS: FBI Special Agent Nicole Diaz is sent to the town of Oro Negro to solve several bizarre murders. At first, it’s thought the killings are random acts committed by smugglers or drug dealers until the Tribal Ranger realizes the bodies have been drained of blood and suspects it is something more. REVIEW: I would much rather deal with the incompetence of …

SYNOPSIS: Niamh is the lone survivor of a bloody massacre after the furniture and objects in her family’s isolated house take on a monstrous life of their own. The police ignore her wild stories and the family friends and social worker that take her in try to introduce a new life. But in this psychological thriller, Niamh is unable to …

SYNOPSIS: The friends of a night watchman, at a highly secured self storage facility, are home from college and looking to party. REVIEW: I’ve always maintained a soft spot for Eric Roberts. From the onset of his career in forgotten classics like “The Pope of Greenwich Village” and “Runaway Train,” he’s always possessed a gift for portraying amiable nuts. Pushing sixty, …

SYNOPSIS: Fifteen years after an on campus murder, students re-open the case for a class and uncover a truth more horrifying and closer to home than they ever imagined. REVIEW: Murder mysteries are something of a hard sell. These days, the standard “Whodunnit?” template is rarely utilized as more than a springboard for creative invention. Both 2000’s “Memento” and “Brick” from …

SYNOPSIS: Based on true events. The Robertson County Sheriff’s Department has released footage found on the bodies of the Sawyer family’s cell phones and video cameras. What was first thought to be a murder-suicide is now believed to be the return of a centuries-old demon responsible for America’s most famous paranormal event REVIEW: Considering the multitude of titles that have surfaced …

SYNOPSIS: Johnny Petrie learns on his 18th birthday that he was adopted after inheriting a farm in Maine. Eager to start a new life, Johnny leaves home so he can began afresh in this “new” dwelling. However, Johnny soon discovers that the farm, which has been abandoned for eighteen years since his natural family died, harbors a horrifying history about …

SYNOPSIS: Religious psychopath Sawney stalks Scotland abducting unholy souls for his communion of sacrifices. With his insane family of inbred killers they rape, torture and eat their victims saving the best morsels for a shadowy chained-up figure in their cavernous Highlands lair. As the Missing Persons list rises, investigative crime journalist Hamish MacDonald writes sensational and damming headlines against the …

SYNOPSIS: A bacteriological weapon developed by the Us Government to create a super soldier – spreads an epidemic in a quiet little town in the middle of Eastern Europe. All citizens have been turned into infected zombies. The plan is to bring an atomic bomb into the city’s nuclear plant to pretend a terrible accident occurred. No one has to …

SYNOPSIS: James is heading to a music festival in the bush with girlfriend Sophie and best mate Wes. He plans to propose to her this weekend, unaware (for the moment) that she and Wes have been screwing on the sly. When their car breaks down, friendly local and co-owner of a struggling blood and bone fertilizer business, Reg Morgan stops …