Hi, I'm Charlie Manson, murderer, cult leader and all around kook. If you're looking at life in prison, you need Charlie Manson's Life in Prison Programme. That's right. I'm so kooky, I spelled it British style.

My simple 27 step programme will make sure your prison experience is the best that it can be. You've heard the one about beating up the toughest guy on day one? Forget it! You'll spend the rest of your time getting beaten up by other tough guys. Here's the cornerstone concept of my programme. "Crazy scares everybody." From the guards who have to double up to escort your anywhere to the king of the cell block. No one messes with crazy. You get special treatment, a private cell and any request you make of the prison system gets processed immediately. Nobody f***s with crazy, baby.

Here's Step One: Before going in to prison, make sure everyone knows you're crazy. Develop a crazy look. The googly eyes are best, man. Do crazy things. Your craziness will precede you. When you arrive in a prison van instead of the prison bus and get processed right through, everyone will know you are crazy. No one will mess with you, man. That's gold!

For the rest of my steps, send me two name brand chocolate bars, a pack of smokes - non menthol and unlocked cell phone. You can send it by prison courier - their a$$ is your a$$ or write one of my outside biatches for other payment options. I have plenty and so will you! Crazy in the prison means you will have a fan club of outside ladies just waiting for your parole. Even though it may be never!

Fine. Put him a looney bin. For life. With nurse Rachett. Fark him.Seriously, feed him garbage from dumpsters.If he biatches, say, what are you going to do? Write a letter in crayon to the guvnah?you're cray cray dude. No one's going to listen to you.And just forget about him, like the prisoner of Zendam, but with no twists.Every 5 years or so, move him to a new nuthouse with a different name, and give him a more heinous back story than the last joint had that he was in. Keep upping the sickness of what he did so the handlers don't even want to poke him. "Yeah, he ate the babbys he made them have" - "We couldn't ever tell the public the real story, they would have crucified him" Keep moving him, and keep burying him deeper and deeper in the system so he falls through the cracks of the cracks and ends up food for the bottom feeders. Oh, and Superglue a latex monkey mask on his face with a bunch of rubber dicks superglued to it, just for yuks, too./Can't say I don't have a sense of humor, Doc.// Signed Randall P. McMurphey./// (Chief called me "Little Red-Beaver"

nekom:I approve of calling him Sideshow Bob. His name is irrelevant. Whether he dies in prison, gets the needle or dies in a looney bin, I don't care.

there is the remote possibility that if declared insane ,he could be declared sane at a later date .I suspect they would then put him back in regular prison , because politically it would be a big deal.