These are depressing days for connoiseurs of Indian cuisine in New Jersey.

The Dark Ages, if you will.

It seems every desi idiot in New Jersey with a few coins jingling in its pocket now has a psoriasis itch on its cojones that won't abate until it opens an
Indian restaurant.

Worse, these schmucks often succeed in their goals and, going by our dining experience, plunge the stiletto into the reputation of Indian cuisine.

Mirchi North Brunswick Indian Restaurant - Flavorless Dump

The latest Indian shithole oops restaurant in New Jersey to offend us and besmirch the good name of Indian food is a flavorless, flies-ridden dumpster called
Mirchi in North Brunswick on RT-1.

The deserted dining room and a waiter sitting on the bench outside and blabbering away on the cell-phone were the first ominous signs that all was not well at Mirchi.

When we walked in around 1PM the other day, there was just one diner (not sure if he was part of staff). Subsequently, two other diners dropped in.

It was only after we finished our horrid meal that we realized why this restaurant attracted so few diners during the peak lunch time.

Simple answer, folks: The food at Mirchi is for the most part offensively bland and completely unlike the hot and spicy Indian food we're used to.
With a name like Mirchi, the least you'd expect of an Indian restaurant is to serve mostly hot and spicy food.

Alas, with few exceptions, the bungling buffoons in Mirchi's kitchen take perverse, sadistic delight in dishing out bland, boring Indian food. If there were a law against restaurant mislabeling in New Jersey, Mirchi's owners would have drawn the maximum punishment.

How sickening!

Bitter Punishment

Set in a brown-colored, medium thick sauce, Mirchi's Egg Plant Curry was a bitter ordeal we wouldn't wish on our worst enemy. Somebody, please tell the idiots
in Mirchi's kitchen they ought to sample the food before serving it to diners.

Miserable Entrees

An unparalleled assault on the tastebuds, Aloo Channa was a miserable, bland, spiceless monstrosity that could have only come from a hare-brained chef. To serve such garbage to customers is to tacitly beg them not to ever return to this hovel.

Sambar, a most common South Indian preparation, was low on Tamarind and suggested a kitchen with limited competence.

We were terribly disappointed that there was no Rasam but instead a crappy Vegetable Soup.

Don't get us started on the horrid Mutter Paneer, devoid of any taste or flavor.

Mercifully, Vegetable Biryani was a scrap of comfort. A spicy, aromatic delight it was one of the few exceptions in an overall horible meal.

Insipid Cold Coconut Chutney

The Chutneys (Coconut, Tomato and Mint) were very cold, a clear sign that they were not fresh and had just been removed from the refrigerator. Most certainly,
not a single Mirchi (chillies) was used in the making of Coconut Chutney because it was so insipid. The other two Chutneys were all right but nothing
remarkable.

We won't waste your time by dwelling on the lukewarm Zucchini Pakoras and the Plaintain Bajjis. Just not worth it.

Equal Opportunity Offender

There was not much solace on the meat side either.

Chicken Biryani was a complete disaster. A flavorless travesty, if any spices or chillies were used in its preparation it was solely in the chef's
imagination.

Chicken Curry was worse, an inedible atrocity. Offered in a thin watery, bland gravy, the bony curry was an affront to diners.

After enduring so much garbage, we couldn't but help wonder if we'd buggered these hopelessly inept Mirchi bozos in a previous birth.

The sole saving grace on the non-vegetarian side was the delicious, spicy Tandoori Chicken, which had a hot, spicy paste smeared on it.

Sorry Desserts

There wasn't much relief from desserts either at Mirchi NJ.

Gulab Jamun was a partially cooked mess in an over-sweet syrup suggesting an utter disdain for paying customers. It would have been nice to get some cardamom
flavor from the syrup but, alas, we had no such luck.

Dirty Shit-Hole

Besides the overall lousy food, the other distressing part of our meal at Mirchi in North Brunswick were the flies hovering around the dining table and
buffet tables.

We all know India is a shit-hole but do we really need to prove it to Americans too by keeping our restaurants dirty.
Sickening to see the flies in the dining room.

Shows the scant concern the Mirchi bozos have for hygiene. Dirty tablecloths were lying on the floor in the dining room. May Shani wreak his worst on the indifferent owners of Mirchi.

Our Caucasian waiter was polite and the service overall was adequate.

Abhiruchi, Coriander, iSpice & Dosa Grill - Way Better

Folks, if you are hankering for tasty, spicy Indian food in the vicinity of Regal Commerce on RT-1 the restaurants to visit are Abhiruchi, Coriander, iSpice and Dosa Grill.

Not the spice-neutered impostor Mirchi, which seems to be pandering to effete American palates.

Mirchi NJ - Rating

Mirchi is a trashy impostor of an Indian restaurant oops dumpster unworthy of your time and money.