Concerned Citizens of Coma Get On The Internet to Ban Selfies

The Group, Concerned Citizens of Coma decided today to start an online petition to ban selfies.

The Urban Dictionary, an online dictionary, describes selfies as:

An act usally carried out by girls aged 12-21, the act involves taking photos of ones self while posing.

Example 1: Yo man, I seen you put selfies up on facebook.
Example 2: Hey man, I was doing some facebook stalking today, found the hottest girl, check out her selfies.

Maralee Bumgartener, a shut in, activist and concerned citizen of coma has started this petition on the new Town Of Coma website and hopes to garner enough support to have the act of “selfies” banned by next month. “Selfies are a deceptive way that people post unfortunate and often inaccurate portrayals of themselves online” says Bumgartener during a phone interview. “We cannot quantify what the selfie photo is doing to a child’s self esteem.” When asked if she’d ever posted a selfie, Bumgartener replied yes and that the selfie “went viral” and she couldn’t get away from the stigma.“The internet definition of viral is similar to the clinical definition where in a sense a brain is infected by a popular but mindless clip some examples of this are kittens, puppies jumping off of anything and Geraldo Rivera in front of his bathroom mirror” said Dr. Jimmy, main clinician in Coma. “It’s not so much a disease but may require medication to keep people from watching over and over again.”The hope is the ban on selfies will keep Coma away from some of the travails of the internet. Mayor Dave is on the fence about legislating freedom of speech, “I like selfies.” Said the Mayor.