Why is marijuana not legal? Why is marijuana not legal?
It
Do you know what
80 year old dudes with hard-ons. That
But we got pills for that.
We
but we

You know we have more prescription drugs now.
Every commercial that comes on TV is a prescription drug ad.
I can
Like:
Oh my god I have this, write this down. Whatever it is, I have it.
Half the time I don
people running in fields or flying kites or swimming in the ocean.
I
That disease comes with a hot chick and a puppy.

The schools now
Build the kids
If everybody grows up with high self-esteem, who is going to dance in our strip clubs?
What
These women don
It takes lots of drunk daddys missing dance recitals before you decide to blow a goat on the internet for fifty bucks.
And if that disappears, where does that leave me on a Friday night with my new high speed connection?

Masterminds are another word that comes up all the time.
You keep hearing about these terrorists masterminds that get killed in the middle east.
Terrorists masterminds.
Mastermind is sort of a lofty way to describe what these guys do, don
They

Americans, let
Do you know what the number one health risk in America is?
Obesity. They say we
An epidemic like it is polio. Like we
The Great Obesity Epidemic of 2004.

Nobody knows why we're getting fatter? Look at our lifestyle.
I
I
Everything is mega meal, super sized. Want biggie fries, super sized, want to go large.
You want to have thirty burgers for a nickel you fat mother fucker. There
Want a 55 gallon drum of Coke with that? It

Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life.
Do you think if Bill Gates got laid in high school, do you think there
Of course not.
You got to spend a long time in your own locker with your underwear shoved up your ass before you start to think,

We
but the minimum wage is lower than it was thirty five years ago.
There are homeless people everywhere.
This homeless guy asked me for money the other day.
I was about to give it to him and then I thought he was going to use it on drugs or alcohol.
And then I thought, that
Why am I judging this poor bastard.
People love to judge homeless guys. Like if you give them money they
Well, he lives in a box, what do you want him to do? Save it up and buy a wall unit?
Take a little run to the store for a throw rug and a CD rack? He
I walked behind this guy the other day.
A homeless guy asked him for money.
He looks right at the homeless guy and says why don
People always say that to homeless guys like it is so easy.
This homeless guy was wearing his underwear outside his pants.
Outside his pants. I
I
I
Not that they enforce it really strictly, but technically I