Thursday, December 30, 2010

I never really thought in 4 months I could experience so much in my life. That is until Tian Elliot arrived. I feel like I can't even begin to express the emotions, thoughts, and joys I have experienced over the last 4 months however in order not to forget some of them I

liked to share the best way I can some I remember.

I remember the late, late nights of months 1 and 2 when I would sit in the rocking chair staring down at my beautiful baby and thinking things like - how am I ever going to discipline this little bundle of joy, how can I make time go slower so I can keep these baby moments, why can't his relatives (grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins) live closer so we could spend more precious moments together, and hoping God would grant me many days ahead with this little boy. And I remember realizing the responsibility that lay in my hands of teaching this little boy about his heavenly father. These were emotional moments and I loved every minute of those late night, quiet, peaceful, (when I was totally exhausted) moments.

I continue to think about all those things now and then in the quiet moments I still hold my little boy in my arms but those moments are a little rarer since now I usually have a squirmy bundle of energy in my arms. Over the last month my little boy who was compleltly helpless in those first months and spent most days in my arms now is wanting to do things on his own. Squirm out of mommy's arms so he can lay on his belly and try to move around, or sit in his bouncy seat to play with toys, or even more recent try and sit up by himself. I am missing those moments of peaceful newborn but am filled with joy when I get to see this little bundle of energy giggle back at Mommy when I tickle his belly or chew on Mommy's check after I give him a big slobbery kiss on his chubby cheeks.

Already I think I have begun to realize that every moment I have with this little boy is going to be precious. From those first hours I finally got to see him after carrying him around for 9months - to the days when he won't want Mommy to kiss those chubby cheeks - to the days when he will hopefully have his own little ones cheeks to kiss. All I know is that it is something miraculous and awesome to have a child of your own and even more awesome to know that it was a gift from God above. Not something that I have done or achieved but only given to me and my husband by God. And what a perfect and wonderful gift! I am looking forward to not what next month brings but for what every new day God brings into my life through this little one:)

I thank God for truly showing me a little bit more of himself and "heaven" through this little boy Tian.