I’ve had “War Horse” in the Netflix queue for some time. It arrived last weekend, but Alan had already seen it (because he’s seen everything) so I saved it to watch on my own. “You’ll love it,” Alan promised.

Alas, halfway in, I wasn’t loving it. So I paused it and hopped on Facebook:

Then, feeling feisty, I updated my profile photo so that anyone looking for me (but mainly Alan) would see this photo:

That somehow set off a pun contest among my friends, resulting in the following comments:

Poor thing…saddled with the traumatic memories of war…

Fortunately, his unbridled passion for freedom fighting got him through the worst of it.

The Secretariat of Defense issued this brave beast a Medal of Honor

Sometimes, you need to jockey for position at the front lines.

A recent Gallop poll shows that most Americans are not in favor of this war.

In these situations, it’s best to harness your rage as best you can

Agreed. Unbridled rage is absolutely the wrong reaction.

He’s really feeling his oats here.

The rest of his platoon really needs to pony up and help this guy.

He doesn’t look very stable in this pic.

He might shoot the wrong guy and stirrup a ton of controversy.

Sorry I can’t hang around and watch your wittiness unfold, guys. I’ve gotta giddy-up early in the morning.

OK, now i’m stopping.

Please, before we start trotting out even worse …

Time to hit the hay

Please make me stop

Consider yourself corralled.

Dang it! I just herd there were horse puns here. Looks like I missed the mane event.

Okay, just one, even though the horse is out of the barn already.

I bet he loves the smell of neigh-palm in the morning.

And then my sister showed up, skipped all the puns and asked, “But the image?? What IS that?”

Alan patiently explained, “You might surmise from the random spray of gunfire, but in fact she just meh’d a movie recommendation of mine. Demonstrably.”

Which then brought a previous commenter back out of the woodwork:

Wait. You mean she was a neigh-sayer?

Oh, and in response to my new profile photo, Alan changed his to this: