Sunday, April 22, 2007

I was all set to write a scathing riposte to all the bleeding heart liberals with their "Earth Day" crap, but moxie: It's earth day!! is better than what I had, so into the Crap-o-matic with my draft. Just read his.

"PREPARATION:

- As every good conservative knows, Earth Day begins at sundown the day before. But because I have so much to do (capitalism takes work, liberals), four days ago my gay houseboy turned on every incandescent light bulb in the house. Anyone that turns them off before the bulbs burn out gets one less Halliburton stock certificate in their Christmas stocking.

- Also, put brand new batteries in my Dick Cheney “Shock and awe” vibrator. Threw the old ones in the street even though they’re still good."

All Snooze ... All The Time!

About Me

Well past (by at least a decade) the half century mark. One foot in the grave, the other on a banana peel at the rim of the abyss and the view from here is disconcerting. I am a former student, pearl diver, cook, truck driver, firefighter, EMT, CEO, Town Fire Warden, mechanic, oiler, marine engineer and computer whiz bang. Mostly I sleep these days in an aluminum tube. And So It Goes...
I waste my time reading blogs and kvetching about the weather, playing with our Schipperke sidekick, Ignatz McGraw and waiting hand by foot upon my wife, the Queen of our Hovel, She Who Must Be Obeyed (SWMBO).

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There are many types of magic, but all require a sharp mind and a cool head. There is no puzzle I can't solve, no problem I can't think my way out of. When you feel confused or uncertain, you can always rely on me to untangle the knots and put everything back in order for you.