Is There Middle Ground For #GayMarriage

by A.G. Cohen | April 11, 2014 7:34 pm

Do you want to stick it to the straight man? Force him to accept you as equal? Do you want to take his word & its definition to make it yours too? Do you want to make him hurt so he knows how you feel after all of those years of growing up feeling different and resenting the fact that he never had to feel that way. In my view, the opposition you face is more about changing the definition of a word and less about your sexual orientation.

Straight people, you need to be clear about what you want and what you mean when claiming to be against gay marriage.

It’s up to you to bridge the communication gap so you can find common ground because politicians must appear to be ‘all or nothing’ on the issue of gay marriage or they are disqualified by the majority of their built-in, automatic, tow-the-line followers.What if there was a way for both sides to get what they truly want? First, the message must be clear and I rarely hear politicians articulate anything clearly.

Straight people: you don’t want your word and it’s definition commandeered by same-sex couples. You don’t want to be forced to perform a gay marriage ceremony in your church. You just want them to leave your word and it’s definition alone so you can leave them alone.

Gay people: you want to be equal. You want straight people to see you as equals in every way. You want to legislate this so they can never deny it again. You want them to stay out of your bedroom. (They want that too, but when you try to redefine the word marriage they perk up and fight back.)

The word marriage already has a definition in the dictionary. Why would you want to change the definition[1] of a word? To win? To prove that you are the same as them? The truth is, you are not the same and that’s ok. Give those stuffy, boring straight people their word back and come up with your own word that has all the legal definitions and provisions that you seek. Or, go with Civil Unions[2] and keep working to get these recognized in all states. You can still push for legal equality in every way with less opposition from straight people. They mostly want to keep their word. Marriage.

If you can’t bring yourself to give up on the word then how about this- if straight people will concede and share their word with you then let them reserve the right to refuse to perform the marriage ceremony in their churches without fear of losing their tax-exempt status[3]. There are plenty of ministers out there who would be happy to marry you without having to threaten lawsuits against those who refuse. On that note, let’s not sue bakeries[4] for refusing to bake your wedding cake. I mean really.There are plenty of bakeries out there who would be happy to make your cake and you know it. Oh and let’s not forget suing a photographer[5] to force her to photograph your wedding. Since a wedding day is one of the most special days of your life it seems like you would want to surround yourself with the people who love and support you the most. Photographers are expensive and the images will last a lifetime. I would want to hire the best and most motivated photographer I could find. But, that’s just me I suppose.

Straight people: Would it really be so hard to recognize civil unions? You really can’t give them the legal recognition they seek in every state? You know you haven’t done a stellar job of honoring the institution of marriage. 50% divorce rate? Wow, congrats.

The court battles will never end unless you can both find common ground. The rulings on this are so embattled in stays, appeals, and overturned rulings. Politicians love this chaos. Each one promising to finally pass gay marriage or keep it from passing. I don’t think politicians should be getting involved in these delicate social issues. They play on voter’s emotions, causing our nation to be embroiled in constant in-fighting. Their job is to protect us from enemies both foreign and domestic. Let’s end this war so we can move forward and take this issue off the agenda of politicians who don’t actually care anyway. Take our current president, for example. When he was campaigning in 2008, he publicly supported[6] the current definition of marriage as a union between one man and one woman. Now he supports gay marriage. Did he change his mind? If so, why? Or is it something else? Did he support the conservative agenda in 2008 to get votes and then change his mind to appease his base, which has a growing number of skeptics? This is just one example of many where a politician appears to flip-flop on a social issue depending on the political storm they are trying to weather. It really is all about votes and not about the people. They don’t seem to care about finding a way for both sides to compromise because that will cost them their base. Let’s face it. Compromiseis now a dirty word. It’s something that the media now attacks people for instead of applauding the fact that politicians could serve ALL the people instead of just their base.

Are we too far gone that we can’t find common ground? Depends on who you ask and what they stand to gain. #BeTheBridge