this morning 9.45 – 10.15.

23Mar10

note:
*’s are thoughts not words. // — is a blocked out name // boss has a french accent-ish.

ACT I
a phone call:

scary: hello
boss: is the bus boy there?
scary: eric?
boss: the bus boy!
scary: which one, the one from new jersey is here.
boss: WHATTT!!!!??
scary: the young guy you brought in yesterday is here the other guy is not here.
boss: HE’S NOT THERE!!!! OHMYGOD!!!! DID HE RUN AWAY?!!???
scary: i don’t know.. but the one from new jersey is here.
boss: ohmygodohmygod.. new jersey NO NO NO!!! he he he NO NO
scary: ok
boss: new jersey ARE YOU TRYING TO GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK!!! OHMYGOD.
(bus boy arrives)
scary: oh he’s just arrived, the bus boy is here now.
boss: WHO?! — IS THERE NOW??
scary: no. THE. BUS. BOY. he’s here now, he just came in the door..
boss: SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!!!!!
scary: ?
boss: OH MY GAAAD. OH MY GAAAD. LISTEN!!!!!!! DO YOU KNOW HOW TO SET UP?
scary: yes.
boss: HOW HOW WHO SHOWED YOU!?!?
scary: the girls
boss: WHEN NO NO NO YOU DON’T KNOW HOW COULD YOU KNOW WHEN WHEN..
scary: they showed me everyday since friday
boss: NO NO OH MY GOD I HAVE TO COME IN .. WHO IS THE CHEF, IS A CHEF THERE?
scary: yes, i don’t know his name..
boss: OH MY GOD!! WHY WHY?? YOU NEED TO KNOW HIS NAME HE IS A HUMAN GO GO
(scary runs to kitchen, gets chefs name)
scary: it’s —
boss: I NEED TO SPEAK WITH HIM!!!!!
(scary gets chef)

end scene.

ACT II

(boss enters)
scary: hellllo!
boss: what are you doing there! that’s is a bar tenders job!!! LIGHTS LIGHTS, COME HERE – LIGHTS LET ME SHOW YOU YOU NEED TO LEARN!! NOBODY WANTS TO LEARN!!!
(show’s lights)
boss: WHY IS THE GATE CLOSED!?!?!?!
scary: i thought we didn’t open til 11?
boss: DON’T TELL ME WHAT TIME WE OPEN I DON’T NEED TO BE REMINDED, YOU THINK THE CUSTOMERS COME THROUGH THE WINDOW!?!?!
scary: ?
boss: THE GATE ON THE DOOR IT’S OPEN SOMEBODY COME IN AND STEAL!! THE CUSTOMERS LOOK AND SEE IT’S CLOSED IT’S CLOSED THIS IS CLOSED YOU OPEN THE GATE ON THE WINDOW AND THEY THINK IT’S OPEN!!!
scary !!? *what the..!?
boss: get the key. OPEN OPEN!!!
(scary get’s key gives to bus boy, not the right key, searching for key)
boss: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD WHY DIDN’T YOU ASK THE CHEF!!?!?
scary: because…
boss: YOU WON’T TALK TO HIM BECAUSE HE’S SPANISH!!!!
boss to bus boy:: GO GO ASK THE CHEF SHE WON’T TALK TO HIM BECAUSE HE’S SPEAKS SPANISH!!! THERE IS NO BLACK AND WHITE HERE!!! WE ARE A FAMILY !!!!
scary: what!?! i have been talking to him all morning!!
boss: THEN WHY DO YOU NOT KNOW ABOUT THE GATE!!!!
scary: *jesus christ!
boss: CAN YOU OPEN THE TILL?!!
scary. not without a transaction.
boss: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!! YOU TELL ME YOU’RE TRAINED!! I DON’T NEED EXPERTS HERE I DON’T NEED TO GIVE MYSELF A HEART ATTACK!!!!
scary: i told you the girls trained me, i have done everything i have been shown how to do.
boss: NO NO NO YOU SEE THEY RUIN MY PLACE !!! THEY RUIN THE LAST PLACE AND THEY ARE TRYING TO DESTROY THIS ONE!! NO NO NO!!
scary: ok.
boss: WHY WHY WHY
scary: look, do you want me to work for you or not?
boss: NO NO!!! I TOLD YOU TWENTY TIMES YESTERDAY!!!! YOU. WORK. FOR. YOURSELF!!!!! (bangs counter with his hand)
scary: ok, i like working here, i’m happy to work here, i’ve set up everything like i was shown and I’m sorry but nobody told me how to open the till..
(keep in mind that he does not know how to open the till himself, he has decided i’m not trained yet knew i was going to be on my own to open up)
boss: YOU TOLD ME YOU WOULD WORK BEHIND THE BAR!! YOU LIED!!!
scary: no, i told you i had bar experience, but that i could only work day shifts and if you wanted me to work that’s what i could offer.
(picks up bag..)
boss: YOU LEAVE!!!? OH MY GAAD!!
scary (in a very calm voice) : i’ll stay if you would like me to stay.
boss: OH MY GAAD!!! THEY ARE TRYING TO RUIN EVERYTHING!!!!!!
(exit scary)

ACT III
phonecall

scary: hello emergency, hi can i get an ambulance to — on 1st and 1st, there’s a gentleman having a heart-attack.. *EPIC! he’s like the mother in desperate living!! fuck it’s a beautiful day in new york city! 🙂