It Could Always Be Worse

“She has so many fails. The first fail is that she owes $50,000 for law school, and can’t pass the bar. She’s taken it 10 times. The second fail is that she dated this guy for 17 years before she figured out that he wasn’t going to ask her to marry him. Then she got involved with this guy who did ask her to marry him, but then it turned out that he had this secret family in Arkansas, and was into group sex and all kinds of weird stuff. So that was her third fail. Then her grandmother, who had some money set aside for her, told her, ‘I guess you’re not going to be getting married, so you don’t need it,’ and gave the money to somebody else. That was the fourth fail.”

Her fifth fail was to be gossiped about at a coffee shop, so that an eavesdropper could post her story on his blog. I’m sure that kind of publicity is just what she needs to get her life back together again.

I wasn’t eavesdropping on purpose. The conversation was so loud that I couldn’t avoid hearing it. Besides, I don’t know this person’s name, which I didn’t hear, and if I had, I wouldn’t have posted it anyway. Do you really think this blog is so widely read that anybody here knows who I’m talking about? I wish!

(And, I’m sort of curious, though I know you don’t know the answer, Rod: Is the woman in question unsatisfied with her own life, or is she alleged to have “failed” because she hasn’t lived up to others’ expectations with regard to career and family? Several of the “fails” sound like things which were done to her, rather than her own poor choices or efforts…)

It never ceases to amaze me that people think there’s this invisible force field bubble or somesuch that follows them around when their talking on their cellphone. I see parents, daily, who will come in to pick up their child with their phones stuck on an ear from the time they get out of their car until the time they get back in it and never mind who hears whatever private details of whatever. Like we want to.

When I was in my 20’s I had a friend who went from one train wreck to another in life. I’d go out to dinner with him once a month and listen to his latest tale of woe. I’m sure it was cathartic for him. It helped me too because I felt so much better about my life by comparison.

Do you really think this blog is so widely read that anybody here knows who I’m talking about? I wish!

Given that St. Francisville has about 1,712 people, and this is a women, we’ve got it narrowed down to one person out of 856. She’s practically doxed! :^)

The grandmother said something that’s really irritating and to which I need to respond: Because her granddaughter wasn’t married, she didn’t need money.

Being single, I find that few things anger me more than the thinking – the attitude that other single friends and I have experienced many times – that those of us who are single have care-free lives with no worries. Bulls**t. We usually have no one to bear life’s burdens alongside us, be those burdens financial, physical, mental, emotional. Chances are that granddaughter needed that money more than the married ones did.

The next time you are thinking of denying a single person some benefit because you think they don’t need it, please think again. /rant

Here’s a true story: A law student graduated, took the Indiana bar exam, but failed. So he took it again, and failed again. Ditto, ditto, and then they told him: four chances is all you get, now go away and leave us alone. But he’d been to law school! He knew what to do! He sued for a fifth chance. And lost his case. But he’d been to law school! He appealed! Now, bar exam scores are confidential, and trial court decisions are wind but appeals court decisions are another matter. So this guy’s 0-6 record (because he lost the appeal as well, of course) is enshrined in the Northeast Reporter, which is where I read it.

I failed the bar exam a few times and it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. Despite having a very successful college and law school academic career, the sheer devastation I felt by failing a few times forced me to realize that I had put my career on way too high a pedestal. I was asking my career to do much more for me than it could possibly do.

In the end, I quit the law and jumped into something else that utilized my analytical ability very well (I turn around failed investments) and I’ve ended up with a career that is much more interesting and flexible than legal practice.

I say this to simply illustrate that all is certainly not lost for this person. Everyone has their desert seasons. The question is whether you can muster yourself around the truth and re-deploy.

So she didn’t marry two rather unsuitable men and got an EXCELLENT paralegal education. Finally she found out early in life that it is senseless to bow and scrape to a wealthy family member in hopes of an inheritance–second only to marrying for wealth as the hardest way to make money. I’d say its all in how you see it.

If someone takes and fails the bar exam ten times, the REAL failure is the law school that passed her through enough courses and gave her the degree to allow her to sit for that bar exam. I’d sue to get that $50,000.00 back!

Re: When I was in my 20′s I had a friend who went from one train wreck to another in life. I’d go out to dinner with him once a month and listen to his latest tale of woe. I’m sure it was cathartic for him. It helped me too because I felt so much better about my life by comparison.

This is very insightful. Complaining about our lives can be incredibly cathartic, and listening to complaints can be incredibly reassuring (just as mutual complaining about a third person can be a powerful source of bonding).