Monday, January 2, 2012

I've had a few requests that I take some time and write about how we're doing & this post is long overdue!! I’ve been wanting to talk about how life has changed, going from a family of three to a
family of four, but just as we were hitting our stride the holidays were upon us and
it threw our routine completely out of whack—running here and there, shopping,
decorating, holiday parties, visiting with family. Whew. I’m tired just
thinking about it.

The short answer? We’re doing really well.

I think that I really had tried to prepare myself for the
worst: for Liam to be horribly
jealous, for Jack to have colic & cry constantly, for Rob and I to feel 100% overwhelmed 100% of the time. I remember
lying in bed a few weeks before Jack was born, drinking in the silence,
thinking, “My house won’t be this quiet for a very long time.” Liam has a very
predictable bedtime and routine & even on the toughest of days, he’s rarely
up past 8pm…but it took us quite a while to get there. (He slept through the
night early, but his bedtime varied greatly in those first few months.) I was
excited to meet my baby, yet sad that this (mostly) quiet little life we’d
fallen into was about to be turned upside down.

As it turns out, Liam is not jealous, perhaps the biggest
blessing of having 2u2. He acted up a little for the first week or so that we
were home, but I don’t think that it really had anything to do with Jack—more,
that his routine was off, he was sick, and that he wasn’t getting enough rest.
My aunt watched him while I was in labor, my parents kept him the first night I
was in the hospital and between being shuffled from here to there, he missed
quite a few naps. Then, when I came home from the hospital, our attention was
obviously a bit divided as we settled in. He was frustrated, could sense a
change and couldn’t communicate that with us, so it resulted in some shrieking
and hitting for a few days. It quickly passed (especially the hitting) once he
saw that, while it may take us a minute longer to take care of whatever he
wants or needs, we are still here for him, just as we were before and always
will be.

Jack does not have colic. THANK GOD. He does have reflux.
Because of our experience with Liam, we knew the symptoms and called his
pediatrician when he was two weeks old. He’s on Zantac (3x/day) and it’s
definitely helping. He’s not a crier. He’s had a few tough days where he was
especially fussy (& we were tired and patience was thin) but overall he’s
incredibly content. He sleeps A LOT which makes it easy to take him wherever we
need to go. In fact, he's sleeping in 5-7 hour stretches at night fairly regularly!

Most days, we’re not overwhelmed. Our plan has been to
divide and conquer—one kid each. If I have errands that need to be run, I take
Jack and go do them. Rob stays home and plays with Liam and it’s relatively
easy since we’re both doing things one on one. I have definitely felt like we’ve
been good partners parenting two kids at once—probably out of necessity—there
are two of us and two kids and it’s really not an option to have one person do
all of the work. We each grab a kid & take care of that kid’s needs until
we swap for a while. When we’re grabbing kids, I do tend to be responsible for
Jack more often than not, but it’s simply because I’m breastfeeding. Plus,
Liam’s in a total Daddy phase right now and always wants Rob, so it works out.
But, of course, we both cherish our time with each of them.

Speaking of breastfeeding, we’re chugging along. I didn’t
put the pressure on myself this time around to exclusively breastfeed Jack and
it’s made things so much easier. I respect ladies who can do it, but I nearly
drove myself to a nervous breakdown while nursing Liam. I constantly worried
that he wasn’t getting enough, that my freezer stash wasn’t big enough, that I
needed to get home to feed him so that I wouldn’t have to give him a precious
bottle of pumped milk. It was exhausting & it made me very unhappy. So this
time, I said that I would supplement from the beginning— Jack gets about 2
bottles a day and I nurse about 6 times a day. No, I’m not pumping every time
he gets a bottle of formula. Yes, I know that in the long run it will lower my
supply, but in the long run, I won’t be breastfeeding anymore. I said that my
goal was to make it a month. I’ve made it almost two months so far. I feel like
things are going just fine & I’m not unhappy with my experience this time
around, but…

I want to go back on my anti-depressants and my anti-anxiety
meds—both of which, I haven’t taken since we started trying to get pregnant
with Liam. I’m feeling ok, but not at my best. I talked to my ob/gyn at my 6
week postpartum checkup and he was very supportive and encouraged me to go on
them when I felt like I needed to. Wellbutrin is ok (if necessary) to take
while breastfeeding, but Ativan is not. Wellbutrin is fantastic for my
depression, but it makes my anxiety worse, so I won’t take it until it’s safe
to take both… and that means quitting breastfeeding. (I’ve tried other anxiety
meds that are safe, but they didn’t work for me.) My doc suggested that we
stick with what works and reminded me that breastfeeding my baby isn’t the best
thing that I can do for him to help him thrive—keeping his mother happy and
healthy is. (I love that man.) I'll stick with it for now, but will probably wean him in the next month or two.

Speaking of my 6 week checkup, everything was great. Cervix
and uterus are back to normal, episiotomy healed and I got the green light to
return to all activities. Since we’re not aiming for 3u3 & I have no idea
how (in)fertile I am at this point, I got the Depo Provera shot. Despite some
scary reports of weight gain (and bone density issues with prolonged use) I
felt like it was the right choice for me for now. I’m not interested in the
IUD, I don’t trust myself to take the pill at the same time every day & I
didn’t use my diaphragm once after Liam was born. If I gain weight because of
it, I won’t go back in March for the next shot, I’ll choose something else.
(After I’m done breastfeeding, I’ll consider Nuvaring again if I don’t like the
shot. That’s what I used before.)

Speaking of weight, I’m thrilled to report that I’ve lost a
little over 20lbs since Jack’s birth—and since I didn’t gain anything while
pregnant with him (or Liam), this puts me at my lowest weight I’ve been at in
over 3 years. I’ve got a ways to go, though. My goal is to lose another 20lbs
by May, when my brother gets married. I plan on trying to go back to the gym at
least a few times a week while Liam’s at Mother’s Day Out—they have a nursery
& I feel comfortable with Jack being there for an hour or so. Luckily,
Wellbutrin tends to make me lose weight, too— the last time I went on it after
being off of it for a period of time, 20lbs melted off of me in a month. If I
can just lay off the Chocolate and Peanut Butter covered Banana Chips and make
some healthy eating choices, I know I can do it. (This isn’t my final goal
weight, just my first goal.)

What else?

We had our first night, just the two of us, last night.
Liam’s an old pro staying with his Marmi
& Poppy, but this was Jack’s first overnight. I missed my boys like
crazy (called about 4 times), but the break was lovely, especially as Rob heads
back to work tomorrow from a gloriously long paternity leave. We hung out at
home (him playing video games, me perusing Pinterest), then headed to a movie
(Young Adults), before wandering around Whole Foods buying yummy food (that we
don’t really need and really probably can’t afford). We went to bed when we
were tired and woke up this morning when we were rested. I spent the day doing
laundry & cleaning my closet. I took a leisurely shower and got dressed.
And dried my hair! And curled it! And put on makeup! before we met my parents
along with my aunt and two cousins for dinner. We are so lucky to have a break
now and then to recharge our batteries, both individually and as a couple. I
know it can be exhausting for my parents (it is for us!), but we are SO grateful.

So, that brings us up to date. Tomorrow, Rob heads back to
work & it will be my first day home with the kids all day by myself. (I’m
not going to back to work until next week.) It will likely be a long day! Since
I get up with Jack super early to nurse him, Rob got up with Liam & then
took Jack for a few hours so I could get a few extra hours of sleep. Now that
paternity leave is over, I’ll be up with both boys whenever they wake up—it’s
likely that I’ll wake up to nurse Jack and by the time I get him settled, Liam
will be starting to wake up. I’ve GOT to start going to bed earlier!!) Luckily,
Liam still takes a very reliable morning nap, so there’s a good chance that I
can nap then if I’m tired (and Jack cooperates). I wish the weather was nicer—I’d
love to take the kids out tomorrow but the high is 39 & the low is 24.
Staying cooped up in the house makes everyone cranky.

I've had some requests to write about the things I’ve learned in my (almost) two months as a
mom of 2u2...Not much, lol. Here are my tips.

Have a completely babyproof enclosed area for your oldest
child. You will have to walk away to care for your younger baby and you need a
place where you can put your older child unattended for a few minutes. (We
turned our dining room into a playroom for Liam—it has no furniture, foam pads
on the floor and all of his toys.)

Have extras of all of your necessities. Thought you had no
time when you had an infant? Multiply that by two. It’s like having twins, only
one of them is running around the house getting into everything you don’t want
him to while the other is crying in the swing. Things like swaddle blankets,
zip up outfits, crib/bassinet sheets and burp cloths—buy more than you think
you need. You’ll probably never do laundry as often as you should and it sucks
to wake up and realize your baby’s bed is soaking wet and you haven’t washed
your extra sheet from the last time that happened (the night before). Ask me
how I know.

If you use a pacifier, try to introduce a different type
than you did with your first child. Liam loves his Avent pacis—I’m afraid he’ll
never give them up! We started with the Gumdrop pacis from The First Years for
Jack and he’s taken to them. Liam has picked up Jack’s pacifiers more than
once, put them in his mouth, then promptly spit them out. So, when we’re ready
to break Liam of the habit, Jack’s pacis probably won’t be an issue.

Get a good, easy-to-use baby carrier. We have a Moby &
and Ergo—both of them I love for different reasons. The thing is, I don’t think
either of them are right for us at this moment. I love the Moby Wrap—it’s
perfect for snuggling up tiny babies and getting things done around the house.
What I don’t like is having to drag it through the parking lot to put it on when
I take it out in public. Sure, it’s easy to tie once you get the hang of it,
but it’s impossible to keep it off the ground while you’re putting it on. And
if it’s raining? Forget it. The Ergo, I adore for older babies, but I don’t like
it for young infants (even with the insert). Liam seemed to get comfortable in
it when he was around 6-7 months. We recently put him in it on my back and took
a walk around the neighborhood and he LOVED it. It didn’t get much use this
past year while I was pregnant, but we’ll definitely be using it in the spring
with Liam on my back, or Jack in the front. For now, I’m looking at a Petunia
Pickle Bottom Sling—something that I slip over my head and slide Jack into. I
need something that I can quickly put on, pop Jack in and then put Liam on my
hip when we have to run in places like dropping him off at school. If I can
discreetly nurse in it, even better. I’ll probably order the sling this week –
wish I had it now!

Get a good light-weight, easy to fold double stroller. We
use ours all of the time. We bought the Baby Jogger
City Mini & we LOVE
it—can’t say enough great things about it.

Take lots of pictures. (I can’t recommend my Nikon D3100
enough. It’s awesome.) Sometimes it’s hard with both kids running around, but I
want to capture just as many of Jack’s sweet moments while he’s tiny as I did
with Liam. They change so fast…and when I get a great shot of them together? It’s
like my heart explodes.

Sorry my “real” posts have been few and far between, but life is all around me right now and I’m just doing my best to keep
up! I’ve got lots of pictures that I want to post (Christmas & our recent
trip to the kids’ Science
Museum) and I’ll try to
actually get some words out from time to time as well! I have every intention
of posting letters to Jack, a year in review post & a fun little quiz I was
recently tagged on, it just may take some time.

{About Me}

I'm a 37 year old single mommy to two boys. After struggling to get pregnant with my ex, my RE diagnosed me with anovulation due to hypothyroidism. With the help of Synthroid and Clomid, I welcomed my son Liam on 9/21/10. Little brother Jack followed on 11/11/11.