Hostile Parent and Child Custody in Arizona | Hildebrand Law, PC

Posted on : December 13, 2016, By: Chris Hildebrand

When the Other Parent Is Hostile in an Arizona Case

It’s all very fine to talk in terms of spouses working together in a divorce for the good of the children. But civility is not always easy, and divorcing spouses can be hostile and abusive. How can you reduce stress for the kids when your soon-to- be-ex is acting out?

This scenario happens more often than one would like to think. But it doesn’t mean you throw up your hands—your kids need you more than ever. Instead, get some help. You have more options than you may realize to get the divorce back on the civil track.

An Experienced Attorney Will Guide You

When the Other Parent is Hostile.

If your spouse doesn’t want a divorce, he or she may be hostile toward you. Do not consider going it alone if this is your case. It’s naïve to think that a bitter divorce will have a smooth landing. And one parent’s bad behavior impacts the kids.

Your first, best resource to find your way through a hostile divorce is your attorney. Choose your lawyer with this in mind. You want someone experienced and tough, but not a grand-stander or a bully. The right person will reassure and guide you through the process, step by step. He or she is there to answer questions and find solutions when your spouse is aggressive or nasty.

One of the first matters a good divorce attorney discusses with you helps available inside and outside the court system.

Courts Offer Help

Many court systems, including the family law courts in Arizona, offer help to families going through a divorce. This can include mediation and parental coordination.

Arizona family courts offer mediation, and many require it for disputes involving the kids. In mediation, the parents meet with a neutral trained mediator to discuss the law, the kids, and the options. The parents may meet the mediator together or separately. The kids may or may not be included in the sessions.

Neither party is forced to compromise in a mediation. Nobody can force you to agree to a parenting plan. But hearing a neutral third party discuss the law and how it applies to your case can be persuasive. It often helps convince a belligerent spouse to act more reasonably.

Parental coordination is another source of help. It’s an underutilized, yet a highly effective resource for parents in a high-conflict custody case. The court appoints a parenting coordinator to help the parents resolve child-related issues.

Usually, a parental coordinator comes in after the court enters final orders in the case. The coordinator assists with interpreting and enforcing the orders. Sometimes a court appoints a parenting coordinator before the final orders.

The parenting coordinator is an invaluable resource in resolving disputes about your parenting plan. It is well worth your consideration in managing the post-divorce period of a high-conflict case.

Private Mediation or Arbitration

You and your spouse can arrange for private mediation or arbitration. Many firms specialize in providing these services, including a number of family law firms. Your attorney will very likely offer recommendations of mediators he or she has worked with.

Arbitration differs from mediation. The mediator acts as the voice of reason, getting parents to talk over the issues calmly and reasonably. An arbitrator hears each side then rules on disputed issues. Both alternatives are cheaper and easier to the kids than a bitter divorce trial.

Therapy for You and Your Children

Dealing With a Hostile Parent.

If you notice your kids wilting under the pressures of the family break-up, they may need individual therapy. Many trained therapists are available in urban areas, and some specialize in working with children.

Divorcing parents can need help too. Talking to a trained professional about your fears, anger, doubts, and concerns as your marriage ends can help. While some therapists are very expensive, others charge sliding fees depending on your income. This is a good way to keep yourself moving forward in this difficult time. And the better you handle the divorce, the better it is for your kids.

When Hostile Turns to Abusive

Note that hostile behavior toward you is different than abusive behavior toward you or the kids. If your spouse is bitter and angry about the divorce, that is one thing. An emotionally or physically abusive spouse is another.

If your spouse hits or threatened you or the children or erupts in a rage that frightens you, tell your attorney. The court has procedures for dealing with abusive divorcing parents and partners, including protective orders.

Chris Hildebrand wrote this article to ensure everyone has access to information about family law in Arizona. Chris is a divorce and family law attorney at Hildebrand Law, PC. He has over 24 years of Arizona family law experience and has received multiple awards, including US News and World Report “Top Arizona Divorce Attorneys”, Phoenix Magazine “Top Divorce Law Firms”, and Arizona Foothills Magazine “Best of the Valley” award. He believes the policies and procedures he uses to get his clients through a divorce should all be guided by the principles of honesty, integrity, and, quite frankly, actually caring about what his clients are going through in a divorce or family law case. In short, his practice is defined by the success of his clients. He also manages all of the other attorneys at his firm to make sure the outcomes in their clients’ cases are successful as well.

Hildebrand Law, PC Client Google Reviews

I just want to again thank the Firm for working with me all that it has. I could not have done anything without everyone's assistance. You, Chris and Stacey have been and continue to provide me with compassion and hard work towards my case. Also a very special thanks to Kip for taking my case in the beginning. Also continued support from him and his dedication to providing me with his expertise in this matter.

A Google User

16:03 22 Nov 17

Dear Stacey and Kip, How can I ever thank you enough for helping me through the most difficult time in my life? I couldn't put into words my heartfelt gratefulness. You both were so compassionate and professional at every given moment throughout this process with me. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You helped me to regain my freedom.

A Google User

18:16 18 Sep 17

Chris is a smart and aggressive attorney for his clients. Chris always tries to reach a fair settlement of his cases. I’ve represented clients when Chris was the opposing counsel and while he is professional and amicable to work with, he does not back off on what he needs to do for his client

Bassam Ziadeh

21:20 02 Apr 18

I retained Hildebrand Law after interview a number of firms in the valley. Working with Michael C. was incredibly easy and informative. My case progressed in such a organized and thought out way to ensure that my needs were met. Michael was incredibly proactive and was able to see far ahead into my case to steer clear of some roadblocks. I would not hesitate to recommend Michael Clancy, and Hildebrand Law in general, to anyone.

Larry Flint

21:53 27 Feb 18

I have worked with Hildebrand law for about 8 years. They are always ready to serve, provide guidance and give you a few options. When they provide you options they also take the time to walk you through the pros and cons of each and give you a recommendation of what is best, but will listen to you and support whatever course you choose after making and educated choice. I’d recommend them to my closest friends and feel Chris Hildebrand is now a friend to me.

Sam Franchimone

22:09 12 Sep 13

Despite the unfortunate situation I found myself in, Chris Hildebrand @ Hildebrand Law helped me maneuver every step with professionalism, expertise, and even a sensitivity that was an added bonus.
Chris and his staff helped me even when I didn't know I needed the help. In other words. . . they made sure we did not leave anything undone.
And in the rare instance we needed the expertise of another professional, Chris knew exactly who to recommend.
Chris also knew, because of his experience, what to anticipate down the road of litigation. That meant we were better prepared to meet the challenges head on, which lead to a more equitable and fair outcome.
I appreciated that Chris did his best to meet my every need in a timely fashion, even if I had a simple question that required only a phone call or e-mail or if we needed to talk face-to-face.
I highly recommend Chris Hildebrand @ Hildebrand Law, PC.

Lindsay Donoian

06:53 27 Sep 14

I cannot express enough how thankful I am that I found Hildrebrand Law. Chris Hildebrand is an excellent attorney who has my best interests in mind and always encourages me to do the right thing regardless of what the opposing party is doing. Chris knows family law very well and relies on that knowledge to format options and solutions for each situation that may arise. He knows what the Court expects and what will and will not be tolerated. He has attempted to settle this case quickly and as inexpensively as possible from the start. His paralegal, Laura, is remarkable. She is organized, quick to respond, and compassionate. Chris is well prepared with a binder full of detailed and organized information and that is likely due to her thorough skills and expertise. While getting a divorce that was unexpected is a painful and difficult process, Chris and Laura treat my family and I like friends rather than another just "client." I am hopeful that I do not need to recommend divorce lawyers to anyone in the future but if I do, Hildebrand Law will be a recommendation I would give hands down.

Jim Caryl

22:53 26 Jul 18

I interviewed several firms and selected Hildebrand Law for my difficult military divorce as a direct result of their whole family concern and integrity. During the interview process the professionals at Hildebrand Law were as concerned for the well being of my children as I was and ensured that they presented several options along the way to ensure that we protected my children's needs as well as my financial situation. At each decision point they laid out a clear path, how it impacted the children, the financial situation. They even reminded me that my ultimate stated goal was the best interest of my children each time the other party got particularly challenging and my frustration was getting the better of me. The owner handled my case personally and was exceptionally well versed in the unique aspects of a divorce involving the military and associated benefits. Won't need them again (fingers crossed!!! :) ) but would totally recommend them to anyone!

sandi rigney

17:19 28 Jun 18

We had a fairly complicated case in Family Court and Juvenile Court. Kip was an excellent attorney. He covered every base there was to cover and left no stone unturned. I would highly recommend him to anyone going through custody proceedings. Hildebrand Law is an excellent law firm and I am confident that Kip or any of their other attorneys would do an excellent job! Thanks Kip and Hildebrand Law!

PrinceAiden Johnson

17:15 13 Jun 18

The firm of Hildebrand Law is top notch. It's necessary to state again that Kent Millward is the epitome of excellence in a vast community of attorneys and will fight valiantly for you. We hired Kent and discovered a very good attorney with a good heart. For great family law representation and more this is the Law Firm for you. To Chris, Kent, Alison and all of Hildebrand Law,Thank you so much!

Richard Sipan

23:51 18 Oct 18

I first should comment on how I found this law firm. I am an attorney myself, though never licensed in Arizona. I moved to Arizona to rejoin my wife and son, who had moved out to Arizona ahead of me. Things soured. I don't know why, but they did.There was a particular issue for me with inherited property. I did some basic Internet research, and Hildebrand's name kept coming up as the author of scholarly articles on the issue concerning me. I asked that Hildebrand be assigned to my case. This was not possible, but his second in command, Mr. Micuda, took over, and Mr. Micuda knows his business.The initial scheduled 1 hour meeting ran for an hour and 45 minutes, and facts, law, and strategy were fully discussed. Throughout the case, everything was explained to me clearly, both verbally and in writing.Proceedings went forward without delay. Because I had selected one of the most prominent Domestic Relations firms in town, there was no serious opposition. This ended up being an essentially co-operative divorce between the two sides, the reasoning being to conserve assets rather than enrich lawyers.Through a series of 3 or 4 payments, I put up about $10,000 for fees and costs. I found the Hildebrand law firm's billings to be fair. They billed for work done; no padding. I am getting about 25% of what I paid in back, as a refund.The matter was done in about 6 months: divorce, agreed property settlement, agreed support provisions as to my son. My matters were handled by an attorney and paralegal team, and handled efficiently.Mine was not a "big" case in terms of its economic value to anyone, but I did not feel like a second or third class citizen; I was treated with the same respect, even though the dispute was over a condo, as opposed to, say, a Scottsdale mansion with land.This may sound strange, but i was actually somewhat sorry that the matter had to come to a conclusion. I felt that I had been treated like a friend, not just an anonymous customer. Being a practical man, I realize it's down to sending a Christmas or other seasonal card.As I said at the outset, I found this place by dint of my own research. I feel I am a lucky man that I did.

Niko RedMoon

02:57 18 Jan 19

This is not only a great law firm that cares about their clients but also the results they get for their clients. Great people and attorneys, I highly recommend this firm!

Rick Cabral

23:23 22 Jan 19

Chris Hildebrand is one of the sharpest and effective attorneys that I have encountered in my 27 years of business. Doing business on the East Coast, as well as Southern California and Arizona has afforded me countless opportunities to work with legal minds from various parts of the country. Needless to say, Chris is by far one of the most honest, intelligent and street smart attorneys I have encountered. I have referred a number of people to Chris and everyone has been fully satisfied. 100% recommend him!

Brandi Slaybaugh

13:11 05 Apr 19

Compassionate and patient and helped so much. The best attorney I've ever dealt with. Nothing but good things to say about Chris. So grateful.

Shari Abbit

21:15 12 Apr 19

HIGHLY RECOMMEND! Cannot say enough wonderful things about my experience with Hildebrand Law. I have been working with Chris and the firm for about 6 years now, and I always feel like my concerns, issues and questions are addressed in a thorough and timely manner. They definitely have my best interests at heart. I recommend Chris whenever anyone asks me who I used as my divorce attorney. Great firm and great results!

Michelle Harrington

20:54 24 Jul 19

I hired Michael Clancy just when I was about to give up on an existing post-decree case which I started with a different attorney over a year ago. Michael is knowledgeable, upfront and personable; he gave me the confidence to continue and settle my post decree case. I knew he was secure, capable and could handle my case and represent me well. He did everything he could to ensure a great outcome for the modification of my current court orders to help my son have a more stable mental, social and physical well-being, which to me is priceless! I would highly recommend him to anyone who wants to be in the best possible hands during one of the most stressful events that could happen to any parent that wants the best for their child/children. Thank you Michael for fighting for my son's safety!! Also, his paralegal, Alison, was awesome and very helpful!

Shari Abbit

21:15 12 Apr 19

HIGHLY RECOMMEND! Cannot say enough wonderful things about my experience with Hildebrand Law. I have been working with Chris and the firm for about 6 years now, and I always feel like my concerns, issues and questions are addressed in a thorough and timely manner. They definitely have my best interests at heart. I recommend Chris whenever anyone asks me who I used as my divorce attorney. Great firm and great results!

Rick Cabral

23:23 22 Jan 19

Chris Hildebrand is one of the sharpest and effective attorneys that I have encountered in my 27 years of business. Doing business on the East Coast, as well as Southern California and Arizona has afforded me countless opportunities to work with legal minds from various parts of the country. Needless to say, Chris is by far one of the most honest, intelligent and street smart attorneys I have encountered. I have referred a number of people to Chris and everyone has been fully satisfied. 100% recommend him!

This website is an attorney advertisement. Prior results do not guarantee a similar outcome. The communication of any electronic inquiry does not, by itself, create an attorney-client relationship or contractually require this firm to represent you.