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Fat Clothes Retention Mentality

by Mary Stella on January 1, 2015

I hope you all had a great New Year’s Eve and that the first day of 2015 has been terrific. I had a really lovely day. Friends who I don’t see or connect with very often except via FB came into the Keys via a cruise ship. Today was one of the lady’s 50th birthday to boot. Since I didn’t do any partying last night – wild or otherwise – and was in bed before 11, I got up at a reasonable hour to beautiful weather. I started the year off with my first bike ride of 2015, pedaling to the beach and back for a brisk 8 miles all around. I then got ready and met them in Key West. We walked around a little before boarding a launch to an island that holds resort cottages and a wonderful restaurant. The five of us enjoyed a delicious, festive meal outside looking at the ocean. It was wonderful. We followed that with about an hour of walking up Duval Street before we had to part ways. Great start to a new year, as far as I’m concerned!

When I got home, I walked Nat and Pyxi, fed them and then puttered around doing miscellaneous chores. Among them was the unpacking of the box that I shipped home from the Northeast with the lovely Christmas gifts I received from my family. I’d also added the sweaters that I’d worn up in the colder weather and a couple of pairs of pants.

Even though we may get some cool weather in the next month or so here in Florida, the temperatures won’t drop enough that I’ll need to wear these sweaters. Unless I hit some unseasonably frigid weather during a late spring business trip up north, I won’t even have to look at these garments until next year.

By then, I hope that the only reason I’ll pull them out of my dresser drawer will be to put them in a bag to donate somewhere. Surely by the time I need to prepare for my annual holiday trip up north in December, these sweaters will be too big for me to wear again. I honestly believe that this will be the case so, why then, am I not giving the clothes away now?

They could be a crutch but, to be completely honest, I think they’re a sign that I sometimes do not believe whole-heartedly in myself. Maybe this is a throwback to the “hold onto your ‘fat’ clothes, you’ll need them again” days of yo-yo dieting.

Twice today I had odd clothing experiences. When I was planning what to wear to meet my friends, I thought of these cute sun dresses that I wear with a little “shrug”. (No way am I comfortable showing my flabby upper arms.) I put one on and gaped at myself in the mirror. It was too big. Even with a decorative but elastic band at the waist, there was too much extra material around the hips and the bodice was so loose that it didn’t look good.

My initial reaction was surprise, then dismay (I love this dress!), and then I smiled. I don’t know why I was surprised. I guess I had this image of myself the last time I wore the dress — when I was 30 pounds heavier than I am now. I should have donated this months ago and don’t know why I didn’t — except for that “fat clothes retention” mentality.

I slipped off the dress and tossed it on the bed, then went to the closet and got out an outfit that fits and looks great. Then out the door I went to have a fun day.

Now tonight, while I’m writing this, I know with all certainty that I should not hold onto them “just in case” I need them in the future. That kind of thinking sets me up for failure, instead of cultivating my continued success. I must shore up my confidence in my efforts and my recovery.

When I finish writing this blog post, I’m going into my bedroom and gather up those sweaters, that dress, and the other little sun dress that is also too big for me and put them in a bag to take to a donation center. Come to think of it, I should send the sweaters up north to a friend so she can donate them somewhere that someone will get use out of them while it’s cold.

For some reason, the comment I left in reply to Jane’s didn’t show up here. Danged phone. Jane, it’s wonderful that you can sew! I have no such ability to experience. Trust me, this talent will come in handy in the coming weeks if you can take in your own clothes! With the rapid weight loss, I needed to take clothes to a seamstress for alterations at least three times, otherwise I would have gone broke trying to replace my wardrobe. My sister-in-law was also a lifesaver. A friend of hers had gone through weight loss surgery and gave her several pairs of pants for me in a couple of sizes that really helped me with my transition. So did another friend of mine. I then packed up clothes when I got smaller and sent several garments to a friend of mine to help her through the transition phases as she lost weight.