Thursday, 7 November 2013

Thoughts About Marriage

Dear friends,

Lately, when I would find myself alone with my thoughts, I would think about the Big Step. You know which one I am referring to... the one when you say "I do!" and he says "I do!" too. The one where you promise to love eachother for all eternity - to have and to hold, for rich and for poor, in sickness and in health, until death do you part. Well... for starters, I do not agree with this saying... I mean I agree but I do not agree fully... I think it is evil to say "until death do you part"... I believe that not even death can separate 2 persons who love eachother truly. I believe in God and I believe in afterlife so ending the vow like this makes me sad... What happens after death? Are you saying that they will no longer be together? That they no longer think of eachother? That the connection is broken? Bollocks! I believe that God is love and if God is love and love is without limits than the connection between the 2 lasts forever (as hard as that would seem and as tough as this statement is for our brain to conceive!)

Let's face it! Every little girl grows up with the idea and the notion in her head that somewhere/someone is waiting for her. Someone who would love her for what she truly is, someone who will love her and cherish her and take care of her. Someone whom she will have children and they would raise them together, as a family. Someone whom she will grow old with and tell eachother stories and hug eachother when the go to sleep and smile to eachother when they would wake up. Someone whom she will wait for probably all her life! But let us face it... The Sex Ratio recently states that there are more males than females in the world (and the statistics is dropping - for girls, weird enough!) so how does that work? Does that mean that some people are just meant (by God, by nature, you name it!) to be single? Are they meant to be alone and face the world on their own? I know that even the Bible states that some men will stand alone in order to be connected to God and fulfill their mission, but still this is a sad thing for me... I had not a boyfriend for a very long while (an impossible amount of time, some may say!) and I must admit that during that time all the world was forcing and pushing and asking why I have none - why it is their concern in the first place is beyond me... Some things you do not choose by yourself. Some things just come and go in your life without you being able to control that! That is how Marek came in - by surprise! I was not ready, I was not expecting but it happened! And I am glad it did. It changed the course of my life at a blink of an eye. We were colleagues-friends-and then... BOOM! We were ENGAGED! I wish I could tell you all was calculated and planned but it is never like that with true love :) It just suddenly happens... you are eating spaghetti bolognese one day and he passes a meatball to you, you pass it back to him, and you end up by both of you eating the same spaghetti string on the ends until... POOF! You kiss! :)

Now I really wish I could tell you the things that will happen in the next months, next years... but I cannot! Only time will tell :) and only God know now our path in life. Socrates used to say: "By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." Well... I do not agree! I think a couple should get ready when they are mature enough to make the decision of their life time. Remember! You will be "stuck" with that person for the rest of your life! YES! That DOES mean that I do not like divorces and I would never wish one to anyone! But that also means I do believe that a couple should trust and respect eachother and communicate on a daily basis! Both good things and bad things. I used to say/think that "Life is a bridge you have to build" and the same I think of marriages and relationships. Discussions/fights are inevitable but never retort to physical violence! Never say bad words between eachother and always think of how much you love the other half... It is hard, but step by step you will learn! I - for one - cannot hold a grudge and be upset for more than a day... I cannot go to sleep worrying about what I said/did and the fact that the other person is upset on me. I never could and I will not change now. Don't let the sun set over your troubles/worries/fears/discussions/fights! I know that things inside the house should always be split between the 2 of you. I cannot cook... I am bad at doing that and I am very close to burning the house if you leave me alone with fire... but he is an amazing cook! So I will not be like Snow White - immediately rolling up her sleeves and cooking for 7 dwarfs, 3 times a day! But I have did a promise to myself that I will try to learn and I am sure that with his help I will make it through :)

Now I know that maybe some of you ladies have this this thoughts like Merida- yes, like the red curly Irish lass from the adorable animation Brave - that you don't wanna get married. That you wish to stay single for the rest for the rest of your life, that you are already settled in with this idea, that you will be the most awesome aunt ever (for your big sisters children!) and that you will travel the world and see all its wonders... (rolling eyes...)... Well, welcome to the club, young lasses! That was me, until 2 years ago! And yes! It did strike me hard and out of the sudden but I would not have missed it for the world! It may be true for you or it may not, but for me it happened! The Love-Of-My-Live came prancing into my life and stole my heart! In have no idea what will happen next, how will the marriage will develop, if I will have 2 or 3 children (or none?! I hope for 2 though! Boy and girl...), if we will have the house/flat that we wish or even if I will be able to cook and clean like a lady should... Who knows?! All that I know now is that I am marrying my better half next year and I am proud to say that! :)