Witch Doctors

Let's hope Central Florida leaders didn't miss this news: A government minister in Ivory Coast has finally agreed to pay a group of witch doctors who claim credit for helping the country's soccer team win the African Nations Cup tournament in 1992. After the government balked at paying a decade ago, the witch doctors put a jinx on the team. It has failed to recapture the cup ever since. The minister said he hopes the payment -- a bottle of liquor and $2,000 -- wins back their help. With the NBA playoffs about to start, Central Florida leaders need to lure those witch doctors here to help the Magic win a championship.

A Jacksonville man with a pale-skin condition called albinism is fighting deportation to his native Nigeria, saying witch doctors would butcher him because of his genetic disorder, jacksonville.com is reporting this morning. Franklin Ibeabuchi, whose student visa expired years ago, says witch doctors and others in Nigeria are known to attack people with albinism because of the belief their body parts possess special powers. Read the full story at jacksonville.com.

One of Nigeria's leading witch doctors collapsed and died just before a meeting with the health minister. The cause of Francis Fadahunsi's death has not been determined. He and about 30 others who call themselves traditional- medicine practitioners, were to meet the minister Friday to discuss their effort to join the mainstream of Nigeria's health system. The government is reviewing the role of witch doctors in its health planning.

Let's hope Central Florida leaders didn't miss this news: A government minister in Ivory Coast has finally agreed to pay a group of witch doctors who claim credit for helping the country's soccer team win the African Nations Cup tournament in 1992. After the government balked at paying a decade ago, the witch doctors put a jinx on the team. It has failed to recapture the cup ever since. The minister said he hopes the payment -- a bottle of liquor and $2,000 -- wins back their help. With the NBA playoffs about to start, Central Florida leaders need to lure those witch doctors here to help the Magic win a championship.

CURES AND CURSES. A little respect. Please. The Association of Traditional Healers has asked the government to repeal a law from the era of British rule that refers to members as witch doctors and forbids display of the bones and skins used in their calling. Nhlavana Maseko, the ATH president, called the law an insult. Witch doctors -- oops, traditional healers -- are revered by most of the 750,000 people in Swaziland. They are consulted for cures, curses and information about the future.

One test for witches: Tie them up and throw them in the water. If they drown, they're innocent. If they float, they're guilty. Most accused witches drowned, whether innocent or not. Zimbabwe witch doctors have a similar test. After six people died of alleged sorcery in Mazarabani village, elders called in a witch doctor to identify those responsible. He ordered villagers to beat drums and dance all night, then to drink a potion he said would kill any witch who didn't confess. Result: Two elderly villagers died, the Sunday Mail newspaper reported.

AUGUSTO RUSCHI, 70, a naturalist who witch doctors tried to cure of a liver disease he said came from touching poisonous toads, died Tuesday in a hospital. Ruschi's nurse said his liver was paralyzed and nothing could be done in such cases.Two Indian witch doctors offered in January to treat Ruschi, whose work in the wilderness had included cataloging 80 percent of the known species of Brazilian hummingbirds. Ruschi said he had touched poisonous toads in the jungle 10 years ago and his liver had gradually ceased to function.

It was a five-week, once-in-a-lifetime experience Dr. James Hardy and his wife, Pene, won't forget: sharing medical training and providing treatment at a Presbyterian Church-supported hospital in a remote province of Zaire.Treating the sick and sharing his medical training with people in a relatively undeveloped Third World country such as Zaire was the answer to a longtime dream for Hardy.''It's something I've always wanted to do, practice in a Third World country where some good could be done.

Let's take a look at your investment portfolio. In the current market, you should have most of your money in something fairly conservative, such as a coffee can buried under your house. If you want to diversify, you might consider investing in two separate coffee cans. Whatever you do, do not put money in the stock market. The reason you should avoid the stock market is that -- to put it in technical terms -- nobody knows anything. In terms of solid information, we're in the same situation as members of a primitive tribe seeing its first solar eclipse.

When Blue Hothouse first heard about God he looked everywhere but couldn't find him, at least not the tangible kind of deity he had always known.''I even looked in the woods for footprints,'' he said, ''but he wasn't there.''Hothouse, a full-blooded Cherokee Indian who grew up with the traditional Indian beliefs, now preaches the gospel of Jesus Christ to his people and many others.As an ordained minister with the Pentecostal Church of God in America, Hothouse, 45, makes his home in Stillwell, Okla.

Let's take a look at your investment portfolio. In the current market, you should have most of your money in something fairly conservative, such as a coffee can buried under your house. If you want to diversify, you might consider investing in two separate coffee cans. Whatever you do, do not put money in the stock market. The reason you should avoid the stock market is that -- to put it in technical terms -- nobody knows anything. In terms of solid information, we're in the same situation as members of a primitive tribe seeing its first solar eclipse.

CASSELBERRY -- When he's not at work, Gary Kleiner says he likes to relax with mindless, fun stuff -- The Three Stooges, Ren and Stempy, South Park. His day job as a witch doctor can be pretty heavy stuff. "I see so much scary stuff," he said. "I deal with so many problems." The owner of Enchanted Herbs & Oils said he has seen just about everything since taking up the mystics arts at age 15. The 49-year-old has spent years traveling and studying various occult teachings, from voodoo and Santeria to Kabbalah.

A task force on reducing auto insurance costs decided Monday to look for ways to cut medical expenses and make it more difficult for accident victims to sue.''I believe we're looking at two areas that would have the potential of lowering motor vehicle rates,'' Buddy McCue, vice president of the Florida Association of Insurance Agents, told the Motor Vehicle Insurance Task Force.Task-force members also decided to consider ways to increase the benefits that accident victims receive from their mandatory personal injury protection coverage.

There is probably no document in America of which modern Americans are more ignorant than our U.S. Constitution.For one thing, educators and lawyers -- the modern intellectual equivalent of witch doctors -- seem to have convinced people that the Constitution is some complex, esoteric document that only experts can understand.Actually, it is a plainly written document, much easier to read and understand that your income tax instructions or most any other regulation or contract written by a modern lawyer.

When Blue Hothouse first heard about God he looked everywhere but couldn't find him, at least not the tangible kind of deity he had always known.''I even looked in the woods for footprints,'' he said, ''but he wasn't there.''Hothouse, a full-blooded Cherokee Indian who grew up with the traditional Indian beliefs, now preaches the gospel of Jesus Christ to his people and many others.As an ordained minister with the Pentecostal Church of God in America, Hothouse, 45, makes his home in Stillwell, Okla.

CURES AND CURSES. A little respect. Please. The Association of Traditional Healers has asked the government to repeal a law from the era of British rule that refers to members as witch doctors and forbids display of the bones and skins used in their calling. Nhlavana Maseko, the ATH president, called the law an insult. Witch doctors -- oops, traditional healers -- are revered by most of the 750,000 people in Swaziland. They are consulted for cures, curses and information about the future.

A task force on reducing auto insurance costs decided Monday to look for ways to cut medical expenses and make it more difficult for accident victims to sue.''I believe we're looking at two areas that would have the potential of lowering motor vehicle rates,'' Buddy McCue, vice president of the Florida Association of Insurance Agents, told the Motor Vehicle Insurance Task Force.Task-force members also decided to consider ways to increase the benefits that accident victims receive from their mandatory personal injury protection coverage.

There is probably no document in America of which modern Americans are more ignorant than our U.S. Constitution.For one thing, educators and lawyers -- the modern intellectual equivalent of witch doctors -- seem to have convinced people that the Constitution is some complex, esoteric document that only experts can understand.Actually, it is a plainly written document, much easier to read and understand that your income tax instructions or most any other regulation or contract written by a modern lawyer.

AUGUSTO RUSCHI, 70, a naturalist who witch doctors tried to cure of a liver disease he said came from touching poisonous toads, died Tuesday in a hospital. Ruschi's nurse said his liver was paralyzed and nothing could be done in such cases.Two Indian witch doctors offered in January to treat Ruschi, whose work in the wilderness had included cataloging 80 percent of the known species of Brazilian hummingbirds. Ruschi said he had touched poisonous toads in the jungle 10 years ago and his liver had gradually ceased to function.

It was a five-week, once-in-a-lifetime experience Dr. James Hardy and his wife, Pene, won't forget: sharing medical training and providing treatment at a Presbyterian Church-supported hospital in a remote province of Zaire.Treating the sick and sharing his medical training with people in a relatively undeveloped Third World country such as Zaire was the answer to a longtime dream for Hardy.''It's something I've always wanted to do, practice in a Third World country where some good could be done.