Dr.Chud

All posts tagged Dr.Chud

* originally published for the 2013 Holiday Horror Binge & Purge event on DECEMBER 29, 2013

I’ve completed my [Goodreads] ˙·٠•●♥ 2013 Reading Challenge ♥●•٠·˙– (ahead of schedule, and beyond my personal goal – go, me!) But, I’m still sitting here wishing I had read so much more! I need more time! More hours in the day, more days in the week… UGH! It’s so frustrating! I started reading titles from StrangeHouse Books in 2013, and I wish I could say that I’m ending this year all caught up, that I’ve devoured them all quicker than aCannibal in Fat Camp!::sigh:: That, however, is not the case. But, it gives me a goal for 2014!!

“This collection of 9 twisted tales of Christmas horror brings together weirdo literary talent from around the world, all with the sole purpose of turning the most sacred of holidays on its head, and making sweet, sweet love to its defenseless ear holes!”

“Join SHB ring leader Kevin Strange, as well as StrangeHouse anthology alumni Rich Bottles Jr., Jesse Wheeler, KM Tepe, and newcomers like Lindsey Goddard and MP Johnson on this sometimes magical, always fucked up journey to the north pole. We promise you’ll never look at Christmas the same way ever again!”

For last year’s‘HOLIDAY HORROR BINGE & PURGE’event, my main Holiday book to read, and review, wasA HACKED-UP HOLIDAY MASSACRE. (It turned out to be a book of all holidays, not just Christmas, but ‘Irreverent Merriment, Diabolical Debauchery, and Gory Good Times‘ were had by all!!)This year, I started earlier and got to fit in many more books from my holiday horror wish list. Two of this year’s reads are fighting for the top spot on my Happy List – A Very StrangeHouse Christmasis one of the two.

Kafka’s Run byBilly Tea: The Kafka’s are Gift Heads & they’re in the run. Gift Heads are a slave race to the fat man. Raised in prison camps, tended to by elves, and eventually beheaded when they reach maturity. Their severed gift-heads are offered as sacrifice to appease the tiny Earth Gods. Fantastic story.

Do Not Buyby MP Johnson: A ‘Tickle This’ kind of story! Quick, gross, and wonderful!

The Unlistedby Jesse Wheeler: YOU WANT NAUGHTY? You got it with this story! Sex, debauchery, violence, & more!

Image from the security camera in the Women’s Plus Size dressing rooms

Things in here had me cracking up (in between a gag, or a cringe) – one hilarious fact about these elves… they shit the cookie dough that Mrs. Claus bakes for Santa. When TSHTF, there’s a line about an elf who got so scared “he nearly nogged his pants”!! (It makes perfect sense that they pee egg nog, if they shit dough, right?!) WARM & FRESH!

Dear Santa Clausby K.M. Tepe:A letter to Santa from the Naughty K.M. Tepe – If I were the fat man, I’d make sure every item on that list was specially delivered with added bows made of cash…

Think twice before leaving me coal again, ya Prick!!

*Message for K.M. Tepe: Ever since I opened up my very first MySpace account, I’ve used the same line in the About Me section of practically every account – still using it today. After reading your bio in the back of this book, I just wanted to make a note of it just in case you see it yourself somewhere. There’s no “This town ain’t big enough fir the both of us” reasoning or mentality behind this note – It’s more like a brunch invitation! If you’re ever in Detroit, look me up… we can hang out in the alley behind Poetry Slam, guzzling coffee, and poking the corpse of Wino Willie!

Blood On The Highwayby Lindsey Goddard: The anguish of a mother’s loss is not bound by species. A woman, her husband, and his brother are driving through a terrible storm, on they’re way for what was supposed to be a relaxing holiday. This is a very good SS! I’m hoping that Lindsey sees this and can recommend a better pic – one that looks like the inside of her brain!

*This is an image that I found on a Google Image Search – It does not reflect the authors imagery in any way

Kathi the Sexy Elfby Rich Bottles Jr.: A department store Santa, who is following in his dad’s footprints as the jolly fat man for the same store, decides to do something remarkably sweet for his ‘Helper’ this year. The helper, Kathi, makes a very sexy elf, and she has some surprises of her own in store for Santa…I can’t wait to read some of the stories in Rich’s ‘humorrorotica‘ genre! Some links are provided at the bottom.

Christmas with the Familyby Jonathan Byrd:This one should be called“A FUCKED UP FAMILY CHRISTMAS”.Other Jonathan Byrd titles on Amazon include –BIG, The Jar, UNSHACKLED, and The Mommies Club. But, after reading this short, I’m not entirely convinced that it’s the same guy!! 🙂

The Witch who Fucked Christmasby Kevin Strange: This story is a tie in to one of Kev’s movies, but it stands alone just fine. Set in STRANGEVILLE, ILLINOIS, a worn out & broke down Santa is about to go head to head with The Hag of Horrors herself – Sasparilla, The Weed Witch. The victor will hold the bag that contains all the magic of Christmas. But, you can’t expect the Hag of Horrors to play fair… can you?Nixon and Hogan Smoke Christmas YouTube trailerHack Films / Kevin Strange on YouTube

I’m Dreaming of a White Doomsdayby Mike Lombardo: Save the best for last, Kev? Yeah. I’m going to get this review posted, then go slit my wrists. xxoo ♥

After Notes, Links, & Other Randomly Strange[House] Fun

I’ve been adding and updating this section since the original post, and I’m still not finished. I would like to include as much info as possible for each author that is/was involved with SHB while the books below were published. This section will eventually become a StrangeHouse Spotlight Page **If YOU are one of those authors, please – contact me! I’d like to post any info/links that you would like fans to know about!!***

Other Books from Rich Bottles Jr.‘LUMBERJACKED‘“[…] makes Deliverance look like a family raft trip down the Lower Gauley”‘Hellhole West Virginia‘“Eco-friendly vampires, beach-yearning zombies and sex-starved she-devils.”‘The Manacled‘“What happens when twin brothers lease out the former West Virginia State Penitentiary with the false purpose of filming a documentary on supernatural phenomena, but their true intention is to make a pornographic movie? Chaos ensues as the disturbed spirits of murdered convicts, along with the reanimated dead from the neighboring Indian Burial Mound, take their vengeance on the unwary and undressed trespassers. Zombies, ghosts, mobsters and porn collide in this bizarro tale from horror author Rich Bottles Jr.”*I HAVE TO GET THIS BOOK!* (Update – Rich sent me a copy of this, along with some awesome author swag! Thanks, Rich!!)

Check out ‘Gross-Out Author’ Jesse Wheeler’sDinner at the Vomitropolis –I have this, but haven’t had the nerve to start reading it yet.

Writer/Director/FX Artist and author of this book’s SS titled‘I’M DREAMING OF A WHITE DOOMSDAY‘– Mike “Dr.Chud” Lombardo just released‘THE STALL‘on DVD and it is ready to ship! It’s the story of a young pizza shop employee whi finds himself trapped in a public restroom during the Lovecraftian apocalypse. The DVD contains buckets of exclusive bloody extras that aren’t available on YouTube.

I’ve completed my [Goodreads] ˙·٠•●♥ 2013 Reading Challenge ♥●•٠·˙– (ahead of schedule, and beyond my personal goal – go, me!) But, I’m still sitting here wishing I had read so much more! I need more time! More hours in the day, more days in the week… UGH! It’s so frustrating! I started reading titles from StrangeHouse Books in 2013, and I wish I could say that I’m ending this year all caught up, that I’ve devoured them all quicker than aCannibal in Fat Camp!::sigh:: That, however, is not the case. But, it gives me a goal for 2014!!

“This collection of 9 twisted tales of Christmas horror brings together weirdo literary talent from around the world, all with the sole purpose of turning the most sacred of holidays on its head, and making sweet, sweet love to its defenseless ear holes!”

“Join SHB ring leader Kevin Strange, as well as StrangeHouse anthology alumni Rich Bottles Jr., Jesse Wheeler, KM Tepe, and newcomers like Lindsey Goddard and MP Johnson on this sometimes magical, always fucked up journey to the north pole. We promise you’ll never look at Christmas the same way ever again!”

For last year’s‘HOLIDAY HORROR BINGE & PURGE’event, my main Holiday book to read, and review, wasA HACKED-UP HOLIDAY MASSACRE. (It turned out to be a book of all holidays, not just Christmas, but ‘Irreverent Merriment, Diabolical Debauchery, and Gory Good Times‘ were had by all!!)This year, I started earlier and got to fit in many more books from my holiday horror wish list. Two of this year’s reads are fighting for the top spot on my Happy List – A Very StrangeHouse Christmasis one of the two.

Kafka’s Run byBilly Tea: The Kafka’s are Gift Heads & they’re in the run. Gift Heads are a slave race to the fat man. Raised in prison camps, tended to by elves, and eventually beheaded when they reach maturity. Their severed gift-heads are offered as sacrifice to appease the tiny Earth Gods. Fantastic story.

Do Not Buyby MP Johnson: A ‘Tickle This’ kind of story! Quick, gross, and wonderful!

The Unlistedby Jesse Wheeler: YOU WANT NAUGHTY? You got it with this story! Sex, debauchery, violence, & more!

Image from the security camera in the Women’s Plus Size dressing rooms

Things in here had me cracking up (in between a gag, or a cringe) – one hilarious fact about these elves… they shit the cookie dough that Mrs. Claus bakes for Santa. When TSHTF, there’s a line about an elf who got so scared “he nearly nogged his pants”!! (It makes perfect sense that they pee egg nog, if they shit dough, right?!) WARM & FRESH!

Dear Santa Clausby K.M. Tepe:A letter to Santa from the Naughty K.M. Tepe – If I were the fat man, I’d make sure every item on that list was specially delivered with added bows made of cash…

Think twice before leaving me coal again, ya Prick!!

*Message for K.M. Tepe: Ever since I opened up my very first MySpace account, I’ve used the same line in the About Me section of practically every account – still using it today. After reading your bio in the back of this book, I just wanted to make a note of it just in case you see it yourself somewhere. There’s no “This town ain’t big enough fir the both of us” reasoning or mentality behind this note – It’s more like a brunch invitation! If you’re ever in Detroit, look me up… we can hang out in the alley behind Poetry Slam, guzzling coffee, and poking the corpse of Wino Willie!

Blood On The Highwayby Lindsey Goddard: The anguish of a mother’s loss is not bound by species. A woman, her husband, and his brother are driving through a terrible storm, on they’re way for what was supposed to be a relaxing holiday. This is a very good SS! I’m hoping that Lindsey sees this and can recommend a better pic – one that looks like the inside of her brain!

*This is an image that I found on a Google Image Search – It does not reflect the authors imagery in any way

Kathi the Sexy Elfby Rich Bottles Jr.: A department store Santa, who is following in his dad’s footprints as the jolly fat man for the same store, decides to do something remarkably sweet for his ‘Helper’ this year. The helper, Kathi, makes a very sexy elf, and she has some surprises of her own in store for Santa…I can’t wait to read some of the stories in Rich’s ‘humorrorotica‘ genre! Some links are provided at the bottom.

Christmas with the Familyby Jonathan Byrd:This one should be called“A FUCKED UP FAMILY CHRISTMAS”.Other Jonathan Byrd titles on Amazon include –BIG, The Jar, UNSHACKLED, and The Mommies Club. But, after reading this short, I’m not entirely convinced that it’s the same guy!! 🙂

The Witch who Fucked Christmasby Kevin Strange: This story is a tie in to one of Kev’s movies, but it stands alone just fine. Set in STRANGEVILLE, ILLINOIS, a worn out & broke down Santa is about to go head to head with The Hag of Horrors herself – Sasparilla, The Weed Witch. The victor will hold the bag that contains all the magic of Christmas. But, you can’t expect the Hag of Horrors to play fair… can you?Nixon and Hogan Smoke Christmas YouTube trailerHack Films / Kevin Strange on YouTube

I’m Dreaming of a White Doomsdayby Mike Lombardo: Save the best for last, Kev? Yeah. I’m going to get this review posted, then go slit my wrists. xxoo ♥

After Notes, Links, & Other Randomly Strange[House] Fun

I’ve been adding and updating this section since the original post, and I’m still not finished. I would like to include as much info as possible for each author that is/was involved with SHB while the books below were published. This section will eventually become a StrangeHouse Spotlight Page **If YOU are one of those authors, please – contact me! I’d like to post any info/links that you would like fans to know about!!***

Other Books from Rich Bottles Jr.‘LUMBERJACKED‘“[…] makes Deliverance look like a family raft trip down the Lower Gauley”‘Hellhole West Virginia‘“Eco-friendly vampires, beach-yearning zombies and sex-starved she-devils.”‘The Manacled‘“What happens when twin brothers lease out the former West Virginia State Penitentiary with the false purpose of filming a documentary on supernatural phenomena, but their true intention is to make a pornographic movie? Chaos ensues as the disturbed spirits of murdered convicts, along with the reanimated dead from the neighboring Indian Burial Mound, take their vengeance on the unwary and undressed trespassers. Zombies, ghosts, mobsters and porn collide in this bizarro tale from horror author Rich Bottles Jr.”*I HAVE TO GET THIS BOOK!* (Update – Rich sent me a copy of this, along with some awesome author swag! Thanks, Rich!!)

Check out ‘Gross-Out Author’ Jesse Wheeler’sDinner at the Vomitropolis –I have this, but haven’t had the nerve to start reading it yet.

Writer/Director/FX Artist and author of this book’s SS titled‘I’M DREAMING OF A WHITE DOOMSDAY‘– Mike “Dr.Chud” Lombardo just released‘THE STALL‘on DVD and it is ready to ship! It’s the story of a young pizza shop employee whi finds himself trapped in a public restroom during the Lovecraftian apocalypse. The DVD contains buckets of exclusive bloody extras that aren’t available on YouTube.