Author has written 37 stories for Big Time Rush, Victorious, How to Rock, Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis, Unfabulous, True Jackson, and iCarly.

JaylaHeart

Welcome to my profile page! I know it’s ridiculously long, but I’ll tell you where the copy paste stuff starts if you just want to read about me! Thanks so much for reading my stories!

Everything You Need To Know About Me

Name: My real name isn't Jayla, but for now, just call me Jayla. :)

Age: 13-18, I'm not really going to say where, am I?

Country: USA!

Personality: You should be able to tell by reading this, but I’m sort of an upbeat, and friendly hopeless romantic, but that doesn’t mean I can’t actually get something done when I need to. Oh yeah, and I use smiley faces too much. I admit it. :)

Avatar: My profile used to be Taylor Swift holding a heart up in my favorite dress of hers, but now it's "Her" and "Ed Sheeran" On the playground from Everything Has Changed. Don't ya love it?

Obsessions: Jesus, cats, Big Time Rush, and House Of Anubis! (Especially Brad Kavanagh!)

Instruments: Flute, and recently, piccolo!! XD

Beta Reading: I would love to beta for you! Check out my profile!

Fandoms I Love: House Of Anubis mostly, lots of Big Time Rush, Jane by Design, and Victorious and a few others are good too!

Music: Too much to name, but I've loved Big Time Rush since before we even got to see their faces on the commercials, does that say anything? I love Taylor Swift, Miranda Cosgrove, Katy Perry, Katelyn Tarver, Owl City, Carly Rae Jepsen, Toby Mac, Jennete McCurdy, Ariana Grande, I'm mixed on One Direction, and like I said, a bunch of others.

FanFiction Friends: A talk to a bunch of authors occasionally, but I talk to PeddieHOA and artist98 a lot. Check out their stories now please! Also, xforeverlovex21 is now my beta reader! Thanks to her!

I've realized that on none of my stories do I have a disclaimer about me not owning anything. Of course I don't! Why would I? I don't intend to take songs from anyone, but I happen to like songfics! (For example) So calm down. I'm really not being evil here.

NEWS UPDATES: Getting writers block, but I want you to know that I'm still around! I'm on FP some, and I'm still reading, and working on writing!

Featured Story: Big Time Movie Night!

How I Feel About

Justin Bieber: Don't hate him, don't love him, but I do hate how everyone hates him. Thought I'd get that out of the way.

Mary Sues: No matter how hated they are, they can make a good story sometimes still, though I'm not saying that they're all good! Give them a shot!

Flamers: Of course flamers are bad! Who wants trashed? But honestly, there's something three times worse! Ever noticed that getting no reviews seems to be the same thing as bad reviews? PLEASE REVIEW! If people need help writing, they need told! Just don't flame! There's a big difference!

Couples I Ship(Scale Of 1-10) (Pre season 3)

House Of Anubis

Fabina-11 (I’ll miss you Nathalia!)

Peddie-9 (See Keddie)

Keddie- I don't know anymore... I'm conflicted

Jara-6

Amfie-7-only cause it's cute

Vicra-5-weird, but sweet

Moy-4

Jamber-5

Jabian-5-Only in light of season three.

Neddie-4-I'm too big a fan of Fabina…

Patrome-4-Maybe, but I do love Peddie.

Big Time Rush (I don’t do slash)

Jendall-11-So happy Jo's back!

Lomille-9

I don’t get into the Lucy and other small characters yet, I haven’t seen enough of them

Victorious

I was very mixed, but after watching "Tori Goes Platinum," I know how I want the couples to end. (Unfortunately, we'll never know...)

I’ve got a new thing I’m trying! When I’ve got something I want to say, I’ll just post the Update here! Please keep an eye on it, I’ll post things I want you to know!_

Who's loving HOA season three?! -1/10/13

I just found out that Moy will probably happen, because it's happened in the German and Dutch versions. Just saying. -5/11/12

Big Time Rush Season 3 Premiers Saturday! Can’t wait!-5/11/12

Okay, this is where all of that copy paste stuff starts. Thanks for reading!

Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE

*You must talk very fast while reading this*

Here’s the thing. I am obsessed with this show. It’s called House of Anubis, and I won’t even try to explain it to you. Why haven’t you watched it. It’s complicated, cool, and confusing. See, when they’re not saving the world, there’s lots of other drama. And it’s never that I don’t, like, think Keddie is cute, it’s just that Peddie has this tension that I love. And Neddie’s kinda cool, but they’re a little weird, and nowhere no near as cute as Fabina, but that’s over. So since Nina’s gone, Mabian’s cute, right? But I feel like a trader to Fabina, let alone Jabian. And don’t even get me started on Jara.

That’s my life, right there.

If You Are Part Of "Generation Love" and proud, copy and paste this onto your profile page (Jennette McCurdy)

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says "if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven."

PLEASE take this everyone! It could really change Fan Fiction!

TheBetter Author Promise

FanFiction is a great place for all of us, and if you want it to be even better, take the better author promise. To take the better author promise, you must agree to all of the following, and put this high on your profile page. X off the ones you can do as you are prepared to do them.

(X) I will get a beta reader

(X) I will finish every story I start

(X) I will do my best to use proper grammar, spelling, and structure

(X) I will research information on my fiction

(X) I will do my best to leave reviews for stories

(X) I will try my best to appear as professional as possible

(X) My Authors notes will not be more than three lines long

(X) I will try my best to build a network of fellow authors

(X) I will never give a bad summary and just say “I'm bad at these”

(X) I will NEVER be a flamer, instead, be encouraging of authors who need help.

(X) I will always keep internet safety in mind

(X) I WILL do my very best to follow these, I WILL tell other authors about this.

I am a girl.Harsh but vulnerable.Sarcastic but silly.Stupid but thoughtful.Thorny but tender.Funny but serious.Loud but passive.Dramatic but bland.An open book.Easy to hate & easy to love.Coordinated but occasionally clutzy .Independent, but dependent on friends.An oxymoronA muddling paradoxAn unsolvable contradictionAnd totally proud of it

You Know You're a Big Time Rush Fan if...

You can't see the word elevate without thinking of the album

You love hockey... and hate figure skaters

You've researched New Zealand

You have dreams of being a spy

You know the real names of almost the entire cast

You're afraid of the “Friend Zone”

You say “CAAAAWWWWW” Frequently

You want a heart shaped pizza

You want to have a social gathering instead of a party

You know what kind of cat Gustavo has

You've made a list of things to do before you're 20

More than 4 of these things apply to you

ALWAYS REMEMBER:

You only live life once, so grab the bull by its horns and go BIG TIME! :) Keep smiling, nothing can bring you down unless you let it. :)

"Be who you are, love is all you need." If I Ruled the World by Big Time Rush

Kendall to Lucy: "Hey!" "Hey." "Hey?" "Hey!" "HEY!!"

James: "Epic juice box fail."

If you don't want SOPA or PIPA to ruin FanFic, put this in your profile!

Currently Featured Story: The New Kid

50 THINGS YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT ME UNTIL YOU READ THIS:

1, What color is your toothbrush?

Purple

2, Name one person who made you smile today:'

My brother, I think

3, What were you doing at 8 am this morning:

Waking Up

4, What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

Riding in the car

5, What is your favorite candy bar?

Hersheys anything (almost)

6, What is your favorite color?

Light teal

7, What is the last thing you said aloud?

I forget, I was talking to my cat (I know, but we love talking to him :) )

If the opposite of 'pro' is 'con', then what's the opposite of 'progress'?

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.

I like rumors. I learn things about myself that I never knew!

Girls are like phones, they like to be held and talked to but if you press the wrong button, you will be disconnected.

WHEN THE VERY FIRST MAN DISCOVERED THAT COWS HAVE MILK... WHAT DO YOU THINK HE WAS DOING??

I will temporarily rule the world, forever.

Everyday I think people can't get any stupider. Everyday I am proven horribly wrong

-All sane people who worked here quit

When u carry a Bible, the devil gets a headache.

When u open it, he collapses.

When he see's u reading it, he faints.

When he see's u living it, he flees.

And just when your about 2 re-post this, he will try & discourage u.

I just defeated him. Like, Copy, & Paste this if your in God's Army :)

I love Taylor Swift so if you are an ultra fan like me you'll understand these next few sentences.

When I share my creativity with others by writing I feel Sparks Fly. When I read other peoples creativity I feel Enchanted. When I see someone post a Mean review on any story I think there is nothing Better Than Revenge, but then I remember that one day they'll just be another Picture To Burn. Don't let those bullies mark you with a Permanent Marker. Don't feel Haunted by their words, feel Fearless! One day when I grow up I will scream 'Long Live' to all the users that had enough courage to post their imagination for complete strangers to read and all the amazing stories they created. These stories are one of the great things you get to call 'Mine.' Who knows? Maybe you'll be a fantastic author at Fifteen. Keep your Eyes Open for all those ideas. If you are a secret writer that is scared to post, don't be afraid to Speak Now!

WHAT A KISS MEANS

Kiss on the forehead= "I hope we're together forever"

Kiss on the ear= "You are my everything"

Kiss on the cheek= "We're friends"

Kiss on the hand= "I adore you"

Kiss on the neck= "We belong together"

Kiss on the shoulder= "I want you"

Kiss on the lips= "I love you"

WHAT A GESTURE MEANS

Holding hands = "We definitely love each other"

Slap on the butt= "That's mine"

Holding on tight= "I don't wanna let go"

Looking in each other's eyes= "I just plain love you"

Playing with hair= "Tell me you love me"

Arms around the waist= "I love you to much to let go"

Laughing while kissing= "I am completely comfortable with you"

Picking up someone off their feet= "That they love them fully and would do ANYTHING for them"

--ADVICE--

Don't ask for a kiss, take one

If you are thinking of someone while reading this, you are definitely in love.

--REQUIREMENTS--

Post this again after reading

WITHOUT READING IT YOU HAVE NO HEART...BUT IF YOU FIND YOU CANNOT STOP UNTIL YOU REACH THE END THEN YOU MUST HAVE A VERY BIG HEART.

Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to schoolHe told his friends that it was coolAnd when he pulled the trigger backIt shot with a great crackMummy I was a good girlI did what I was toldI went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the goldBut mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbyeI'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cryWhen Johnny shot the gun he hit me and anotherAnd all because he got the gun from his older brotherMummy please tell daddy that I love him very muchAnd please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crushAnd tell my little sister that she is the only one nowAnd tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her nowAnd tell my wonderful friends that they were always the bestMummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the restMummy tell my teachers I won't show up for classAnd never to forget this and please don't let this passMummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves thisMummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kissAnd mummy tell the doctors I know they really did tryI think I even saw a doctor trying not to cryMummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chestBut mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the restMummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crackMummy listen to me if you wouldI wanted to go to collegeI wanted to try things that were newI guess I'm not going with daddyOn that trip to the new zooI wanted to get marriedI wanted to have a kidI wanted to be an actressMummy I wanted to liveBut mummy I must go nowThe time is getting lateMummy tell my ChrisI'm sorry but I had to cancel the dateI love you mummy I always haveI know you know it's trueMummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"In memory of the Columbian students that were lostPlease if you wouldPass this aroundI'd be happy if you couldDon't smash this on the groundIf you pass this onMaybe people will cryJust keep this in heartFor the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"Now you have two choices1) repost and show you care2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart(Please just copy and paste this on to your site and show that you care)

There's a 13 year old girl, and she wished that her dad would come home from the army, because he'd been having problems with his heart and right leg. It was 2:53 p.m . When she made her wish. At 3:07 p.m. (14 minutes later), the doorbell rang, and there her Dad was, luggage and all!!

I'm Katie and I'm 20 and I've been having trouble in my job and on the verge of quitting. I made a simple wish that my boss would get a new job. That was at 1:35 and at 1:55 there was an announcement that he was promoted and was leaving for another city. Believe me...this really works!

My name is Ann and I am 45 years of age. I had always been single and had been hoping to get into a nice, loving relationship for many years. While kind of daydreaming (and right after receiving this email) I wished that a quality person would finally come into my life. That was at 9:10 AM on a Tuesday. At 9:55 AM a FedEx delivery man came into my office.He was cute, polite and could not stop smiling at me. He started coming back almost everyday (even without packages) and asked me out a week later. We married 6 months later and now have been happily married for 2 years.

What a great email it was!!

Just scroll down to the end, but while you do, think of a wish. Make your wish when you have completed scrolling. Whatever age you are, is the number of minutes it will take for your wish to come true. ex.you are 25 years old, it will take 25 minutes for your wish to come true).

Go for it!

SCROLL DOWN!

STOP!

Congratulations! Your wish will now come true in your age minutes.

Now follow this carefully...it can be very rewarding!

If you repost this within the next 5 min. something major that you've been wanting will happen.

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:"Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:"Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you can read that please put it in your profile.

Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...

He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...

He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...

He had no army, yet kings feared him...

He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world...

He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...

He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today

A lot of people think Christianity is about always being perfect. It's actually the opposite of that. It's realizing that we're all humans, and that's why God sent his Son to this earth - to save people.

If you love God with your whole heart and are 100 percent proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile

List twelve of your favorite characters from your fandom, in no particular order. Then answer the questions about them.

1. Nina

2. Fabian

3. Amber

4. Alfie

5. Mara

6. Jerome

7. Mick

8. Popeye

9. Patricia

10. Piper

11. Eddie

12. Joy

1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to? (Jerome, Eddie)

No, and no.

2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

No.

3.What would happen if eleven got three pregnant?

It would not be good.

4. Can you recall any fics about Nine?

Yes.

5. Would Two and eight make a good couple?

No.

6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?

Five/Nine, as a friendship, they've known each other longer.

7. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?

I don't think so.

8. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.

Missing you. They both miss the one that they chase.

9. Does anyone on your friends list read Three stories?

IDK

10. Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?

Yup.

13. Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five?

I doubt it.

14. If you wrote a Song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?

I really don't know.

15. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?

Weird!

16. When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

I forget.

This is really sweet...

When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all.

When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.

When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever.

When a girl wants to see you everday, she wants to be pampered.

When a girl says "I love you." she means it.

When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person.

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him.

The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him.

The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her.".

If you read this, you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life.

Your guy side

I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST believe in heaven.I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogantI LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarianI’m a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my lifeI have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerdI'm a GIRL so I MUST be weak

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditzI'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.I don't LISTEN to what people think about me, so I MUST think I'm better than everyone.I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm into my APPEARANCE, so I MUST be an extremely girly-girlI'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a jerk.I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throatI'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST talk really loud.I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.I used to be a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.I WEAR BLACK (sometimes), so I MUST be a Goth or emo.I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm a BRUNETTE, so I MUST be smart.I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin. (Not really sure... but people I know tell me i'm pretty...)I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that’s how Russians roll.I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm into CHEER LEADING, so I MUST be a dumb blond.I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.I’m a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.I’m a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.I’m STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuffI'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punksI'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHAI'm MORMON so I MUST be perfectI'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm blackI'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon.

I'm into the BEACH, so I MUST be a stupid surfer.I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.I’m into ROCK so I MUST be emo.I'm into FOOTBALL, so I MUST be a TOMBOY.

I'm into CLOTHS and SHOES, so I MUST be a rich girl.I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either, a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBEI’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loserI care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippyI CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virginsI'm PAGAN so I MUST worship SatanI'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against AbortionI'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.I am a WITCH, so I MUST be an OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcastI like GAMES, ANIME and/or COMICS, so I MUST be childish.I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’sI go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the timesI’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.I (or USED to) DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.

I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake.I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problemsI like FIRE so I must be an arsonist.I wear GLASSES, so I MUST be a dork.I wear CONTACTS, so I MUST be in denial.I’m FRIENDS WITH LESBIANS, so I MUST be a lesbian too.I like to EMAIL instead of TALK on the phone, so I MUST have no social life.

I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling jerk.My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a jerk.I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horseI’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be gayI draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weakI am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheepI'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts (It's actually called a kilt)I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.

This is the stupid test! 100 stupid things that people do! Bold the ones that apply to you!

1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out2. Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails3. Broken a chair by leaning back in it4. Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking5. Choked on your own spit while you were talking6. Had people tell you that you are blonde when you're not/or had had people tell you that your blonde highlights are going to your head7. Been caught staring at your crush by your crush him/herself8. Have looked for something for at least 10 min then realized it was in your hand9. Tried to push open a door that said pull10. Tried to pull open a door that said push11. Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love potion12. Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else13. Have tripped and fallen UP the stairs14. Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave15. Have gotten gum stuck in your hair16. Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble17. Have had the juice from a mini tomato squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it18. Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard19. Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name20. Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot21. Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on22. Have fallen out of a moving vehicle.23. Have run into a closed door24. Have almost shot someone with a real gun while trying to shoot something else25. Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it26. It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke27. Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer28. Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan29. Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk30. Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock31. After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped/sat in it32. Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside33. Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else (Who hasn't?)34. Ever been kicked out of a grocery store/off their property35. Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc on purpose even though you knew it was hot36. Picked out your change of clothes, took off the ones you had on and then accidentally put the old clothes back on37. Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in38. Put the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard39. Walked into a pole40. Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident41. Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house42. Tried to take a picture of your/someone's eye with the flash on43. Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small44. Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it45. Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there forgot what is was that you were going to do.46. Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it.47. Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up48. Have poked yourself in the eye49. Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on50. Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair51. Have done enough stupid things to make a test52. Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil53. Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it54. Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was.55. Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were56. Looked into an overhead light purposefully while it was on57. Got up early and got ready for school/work/meeting, then realized that you didn't have school/work/meeting that day.58. Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it60. Have ever laughed at a joke that no one else thought was funny or a movie61. Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa62. Said funner or stupider, then had someone make fun of you for it63. Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence64. Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person65. Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one or because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side66. Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions67. Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong68. Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it69. Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out.70. Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught71. When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face72. Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb73. Ran into a door jam74. Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid75. Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it76. Have purposely licked playground sand77. Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band78. Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't79. Have been so hyper you actually scared people80. Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would pull your hairs out81. Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off82. Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again83. Sat and wondered why men’s dress shirts have a loop on the back.84. Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about85. Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair86. Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone87. Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked weird88. When at a restaurant/cafeteria, you used your spoon to fling stuff at people89. Have flung forks at people in a restaurant/cafeteria90. Sucked on a cup and got a hickey from it.91. As you were writing, you moved your head back and forth with92. Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named them93. Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper94. Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours95. Started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story96. When you saw a ‘beware of dog’ sign, you told the owners to beware of the dogs not realizing they owned the dogs97. You have spelled your own name wrong before98. Put the apostraphe in the wrong place99. Have used your calculator as a form of communication in class100. Have popped a balloon in your mouth.

This game has a funny/spooky outcome.

Don't read ahead...just do it in order! It's worth a try.

First..get a pen and paper. When you actually choose names, make sure it's people you actually know and go with your first instinct.

Scroll down one line at a time...and don't read ahead or you'll ruin it!

1. First, write the numbers 1 through 11 in a column.

2. Then, beside numbers 1 and 2, write down any two numbers you want.

3. Beside the 3 and 7, write down the names of members of the opposite sex.

4. Write anyone's name (like friends or family...) in the 4th, 5th, and 6th spots.

5. Write down four song titles in 8,9,10, and 11. (Go with your instincts!)

6. Finally, make a wish.

And now the key for the game...

1. You must tell (the number in space 2) people about this game.

2. The person in space 3 is the one that you love.

3. The person in 7 is one you like but can't work out.

4. You care most about the person you put in 4.

5. The person you name in number 5 is the one who knows you very well.

6. The person you name in 6 is your lucky star.

7. The song in 8 is the song that matches with the person in number 3.

8. The title in 9 is the song for the person in 7.

9. The tenth space is the song that tells you most about YOUR mind.

10. 11 is the song telling you how you feel about life

NOW...post this bulletin (don't reply) within the hour. IF you do, your wish will come true...

If you don't it will become the opposite.

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.

Please select from the following options:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy ayway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.

"Will you go to prom with me?""Yes.""Yes?""Yes.""YES!" Fabian and Nina

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

1. Put your iTunes (or iPod) on shuffle

2. For each question, press the next button to get your next answer

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

1. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?

No ordinary love- tobyMac/Okay...

2. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?

Leave It All To Me- Miranda Cosgrove/ I don't even want to know.

3. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?

Any Kind Of Guy-Big Time Rush/ Okay?

4. WHAT IS 22?

Lose My Soul-tobyMac/What?

5. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?

Superstar-BTR/Not really, but this one makes the most sense so far

6. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

Party Rock Anthem- LMFAO// ... what?

7. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?

Say Say-Kristian Stanfill// Not really..

8. WHAT DO YOU WANNA BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

Teardrops on my guitar-Taylor Swift/ What??

9. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

Disgusting-Miranda Cosgrove/ No

10. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?

I'm for you-tobyMac/Well okay

11. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?

The way I loved you-Taylor Swift/ I hope not

12. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?

Any Kind Of Guy-Big Time Rush/ This is making less and less sense

13. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBIE/INTEREST?

Lose My Soul-tobyMac/ NO!

14. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?

Freak the freak out-Victoria Justice/No. Just No.

15. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?

Showstopper-tobyMac/Why is it picking so much Toby?!

16. WHAT IS THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?

No Idea-BTR/Okay that makes a little sense

17. HOW WILL YOU DIE?

I Wanna Hold Your Hand-BTR/What??

18. WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU WILL REGRET?

Hype Man-tobymac/

19. WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?

One World-tobyMac/Not at all.

20. WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?

When A Heart Breaks-Ben Rector/ Okay THAT makes a lot of sense

21. WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?

Witch Doctor-Chipmunks/That isn't good.

22. WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?

Take A Hint-Victorious/ Okay...

23. DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?

If I Ruled The World-BTR/ I don't know how to take that.

24. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?

Second Chance-Shinedown/Yeah... no.

25. WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?

Pocketful Of Sunshine-Natasha Beningfieled/What?!

Fanfiction Rules:

While I may end up breaking these myself at times, I try to stick to these as much as possible. You're welcome to borrow them yourself (in fact, I encourage you to).

1) Do not make canon characters act completely out-of-character. The only reason you should do that is if you handle it carefully, it is short term, and you have a very good explanation as to why. Nothing throws a person for a loop like their favorite character acting weird all of a sudden. This also means that you shouldn't treat your least favorite character like they're an idiot just because you hate them. Try to be fair to all the members of the canon, not just those you like. In fact, take it as a challenge to write them well, despite your personal feelings.

2) "There," "their," and "they're" are different words with different meanings. The same goes for "it's" and "its." Learn them and know which one is which. It makes a world of difference in your writing if you use the correct word.

3) Reread and double-check your work. Spell-check is not fool-proof. Sometimes just going over something will help you spot dumb mistakes. I end up writing out on paper my story first, then type it. That takes care a lot of mistakes, just copying it to the computer. Then, I reread it a little later to spot the rest. Find your own system, but you need to reread your work!

4) One word, people: grammar. Do not fear it; love it. Nothing can scare off a reader like horrid grammar in a story. And if they do stick around, chances are they can only barely understand what they're reading.

5) All pairings are fair game, if it makes sense. If there is no hint at a character having feelings towards another, good or bad, why act like its been there all along? Those new feelings can develop, but don't create them all at once. It's not nice to break up an established couple just to stick the hero with your original character either. And not every boy and girl (or boy and boy, or girl and girl. I'm not against that, if there is a evidence of that in the canon to support that kind of relationship. Please don't do that just because you can) has to be a couple. Friendships can be just as important and difficult to craft, but worth the effort in the long run.

6) "Ain't" is not a word. The only reason I will allow it in a story is in dialog. People can say it in conversation, but other than that... NO!

7) Be descriptive in your work. Don't just say "It was a black cat," say "The feline rubbed his midnight fur against her leg, blinking his amber eyes with pleasure." Much more fun to read.

9)Don't be afraid to try new story ideas. Just think them out first. How many times do you find a fanfiction that is incomplete because a writer doesn't know where to go from there? It helps to have a rough plan for the story of how to get from point A to B. It prevents you from writing yourself into a corner. You can always change it as you go, but it will give you some structure to work with.

10)Original characters are fine to add to a story, just beware of the curse of Mary Sue. Make them believable. This means faults, imperfections, a back story (not a overly sappy one with either too much perfection or too much angst! That's not a back story; that's a soap opera), and real personality. Don't just photocopy yourself in so you can date your favorite character, either. Create an original character, meaning not existing elsewhere (including the real world). In all likelihood, not every canon character will like the same person equally. Some may hate them (shocking, right?) and they could be very well justified in their hate. Some personalities just clash. (This does not mean that your least favorite character must be mean to your original character so you can show the world why you hate that character. Try to be better than that.) The more realistic you can make them, the better. If possible, create an individual that could easily have existed since the beginning, even if they didn't deal with the canon characters directly, and seems to belong in that universe.

When nothing goes right... go left.You never know how strong you are... until being strong is the only choice you have.Never give up on something you can’t go a day without thinking about.Being happy doesn’t mean everything is perfect. It means you’ve decided to see beyond the imperfections.Someday someone will walk into your life and make you realise why it never worked with anyone else.Nobody is worth your tears, and the people who are won’t make you cry.Life is a journey, not a destination. Sit back and enjoy the ride.Strength is nothing more than how well you hide the pain.Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.Be yourself because there is no one like you.In the end it’s not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away.Never take life too seriously... no one gets out alive anyway.It is a fearful thing to love what time can touch.Forgive, but don't forget.Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain.Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.If you want the rainbow you have to put up with the rain.In the hopes of reaching the moon men fail to see the flowers that blossom at their feet.Anyone who thinks they're too small to make a difference should try sharing a bed with a mosquito.The greatest mistake you can make in life is to continually be afraid you will make one.Love is giving someone the power to break your heart, but trusting them not to.I'm going to smile like nothing's wrong, talk like everything's perfect, act like it's all a dream, and pretend it's not hurting me.Every 60 seconds you spend angry or upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.Love is like a roller coaster- when it's good you don't want to get off and when it isn't you can't wait to go throw up.You don't love someone because they're beautiful- they're beautiful beacause you love them.The best accessory a girl can have is her best friend(s)!Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I just walk by again? Copy and paste this if you believe in true love.I'm not weird. I'm limited edition.

Cool Quotes:

ONE DAY A DAD COMES HOME DRUNK AND MAD. HE PULLS OUT A GUN AND SHOOTS HIS WIFE AND THEN TURNSTHE GUN ON HIMSELF. HIS LITTLE GIRL SITS BEHIND THE COUCH CRYING. THE POLICE CAME AND TOOK THELITTLE GIRL TO A NEW FAMILY. HER FIRST DAY TO SUNDAY SCHOOL SHE WALKS INTO THE BUILDING ANDSEES A PICTURE OF JESUS ON THE CROSS.

THE LITTLE GIRL ASKS THE TEACHER: How did that man getoff the cross?

THE TEACHER REPLIED: He never did.

THE LITTLE GIRL ARGUED: Yes he did when mommyand daddy fought he sat next to me behind the couch telling me everything was gonna be alright...

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand._

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook._

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog._

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?HAROLD: A teacher

You know you're a House of Anubis fan when...

You can't hear the term "party animal" without thinking of Alfie.

You can't listen to your history teacher talk about Lewis and Clark without giggling.

You can't think about prom without thinking about Fabian and Nina.

Whenever someone says you're insane, you say, "Very observant."

You want to go to a British boarding school just to see if some weird mystery starts unfolding.

You will ace anything you have to learn about Egyptian mythology.

You know your numerology number and have compared it to your favorite character's multiple times.

You compare yourself to Nina and try to figure out who the Fabian, Amber, Patricia, Alfie, Jerome, Mick, and Mara are in your life.

You think of Mick and Nina whenever anyone mentions a scholarship.

You think of Fabian when you think about astronomy.

You know what song Fabian and Nina danced to and are plotting to get your high school to play it at your prom.

You are constantly trying to figure out how to get deadly bugs into an hour glass to threaten your enemies with.

You have looked up what a degenerative condition is and you now feel very sorry for Mr. Winkler.

You have had at least one dream where you were Nina and your boyfriend was Fabian

I want child abuse to stop! and if you do, too, copy and paste this onto your profile Thank you to flamin. guitarist for posting this in your profile and for letting others read it.

My name is May

I am but three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all

I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked up

All the day long

When I awake

I'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just

One whipping tonight

Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse

My name he calls

I press myself

Against the wall.

I try and hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping

He shouts ugly words,

He says its my fault

That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And I run for the door.

He's already locked it

And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its now much too late

His face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor.

My name is May

And I am but three,

Tonight my daddy,

Murdered me.

Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!

If you care at all about this poor child, paste it onto your profile, before it's too late..

What A Boyfriend Should Do:

When she walks away mad...

Follow her.

When she stares at your mouth...

Kiss her.

When she pushes you or hits you...

Grab her and don't let go.

When she's quiet...

Ask her what's wrong.

When she ignores you...

Give her you FULL attention.

When she pulls away...

Pull her back.

When you see her at her worse...

Tell her she is beautiful.

When you see her start to cry...

Just hold her and don't say a word.

When you see her walking...

Sneak up from behind and hug her waist from behind.

When she's scared...

Protect her.

When she lays her head on your shoulder...

Tilt her head up and kiss her.

When she steals your favourite hat...

Let her keep it and sleep with it for the night.

When she teases you...

Tease her back and make her laugh.

When she doesn't answer you for a long time...

Reassure her that everything is alright.

When she looks at you with doubt..

Back yourself up.

When she says that she likes you...

She really does...more than you understand.

When she grabs at your hand...

Hold hers and play with her fingers.

When she bumbs into you..

Bump her back and make her laugh.

When she tells you a secret...

Keep it safe and untold.

When she looks into your eyes...

Don't look away until she does.

When she misses you...

She's hurting inside.

When you break her heart...

The pain NEVER really goes away.

When she says 'it's over'...

She still wants you to be hers.

When she re-posts this bullentin...

She WANTS you to read it.

Stay on the phone with her...

Even if she's not saying anything.

When she's mad...

Hug her tight and don't let go.

When she says she okay...

Dont believe her and talk about it because 10 years from know...

she will remember you.

Call her at 12:00...

Just to tell her you love her.

Call her before you sleep and...

after you wake up.

Treat her like...

she's ALL that matters to you.

Tease her...

and let her tease you back.

Stay up with her All night when she's sick and watch her favourite TV show or Movie with her...

even if you think it is stupid.

Give her the world...

and let her wear your clothes

When she's bored and alone...

Hang out with her.

Let her know how important she is to you...

and kiss her in the pouring rain.

When she runs up to you crying the first thing you say is...

"Who's butt am I kicking, babe?"

"I will not give up; On Sarah, the quest, and certainly not on you." Fabian Rutter,

"Leave Her!" Fabian

"Didn't you use to be Mara?" Jerome

"I got it! Get a different face!" Alfie

"Where's Joy!?" Patricia

"It's ten o'clock! You all know what that means! You have five minutes precisely, then I want to hear a pin...drop!" Victor

"It's basically-the apocalypse!" Trudy

"Soon, you'll all be saying the Pledge of Allegiance" Nina

"But this is my signed copy of The Solar System is Your Friend!" Fabian

"I did not tell you creep!" Jerome

"I'm intrigued and completely frightened at the same time." Mara

"You think I'm a genius!?" Amber

"I think the house...is coming to life." Nina

"Are you mad?!""Yeah, quite possibly." Sweetie and Rufus

"Fancy a bite?" Alfie

"Falls out of his chair in amazement." Alfie

"Alfie Lewis, champion of the earth! We're doomed." Patricia

"I ordered a doll's dress?"Amber

"Sibooboo..." Alfie

"Will you go to prom with me?""Yes.""Yes?""Yes.""YES!" Fabian and Nina

Final Battle: Love is in the house- Toby Mac (Sure, makes as much sense as the others)

Death Scene: Get Back Up- Toby Mac (What am I, Jesus?)

Funeral song: Pocketful Of Sunshine- Natasha Beningfield (Well, okay)

End Credits: If I Ruled The World- BTR (No.)

Favorite Funny Quotes/Sayings:

21. A friend helps you up when you fall; a best friend laughs at you, trips you again, and continues to laugh.

22. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's only yours that's stupid.

23. There are no stupid questions; just stupid people.

24. When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

25. I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

26. Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

27. When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

28. Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

29.What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'

30. Note - The key to a good relationship is the key. Give me back the key.

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has beenwith us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birthrecords were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowingwhen to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn'talways fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more thanyou can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearingregulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexualharassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for usingmouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student,only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job thatthey themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. Itdeclined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent toadminister Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not informparents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband;churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than theirvictims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglarin your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realizethat a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, andwas promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife,Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is ToBlame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realizedhe was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join themajority and do nothing.

1.WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?

The One That Got Away- Katy Perry (Yeah... okay?)

2. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?

Show Me-Big Time Rush (That doesn't even begin to make sense)

3. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?When You're Gone-Avril Lavingne (Why can't this make sense?)

4.What IS 22?

Time Of Our Life-Big Time Rush (Yeah. One problem with that. Math isn't fun!)

22. WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?Up All Night-1D (Well, sure. I'm not a night owl)

23.DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?Revolution- BTR/Beatles (Umm...)

24. WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?Bam-Miranda Cosgrove (*Bangs Head On Table*)

Things To Ponder:

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

So what's the speed of dark?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station..

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

If money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?

What disease did cured ham have?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do alarm clocks “go off” when they start making noise?

Why do we yell “Heads up!” when we should be yelling “Heads down!”?

How can something be both “new” and “improved”?

Why do we shut up, but quiet down?

How did the “Keep Off the Grass” sign get there in the first place?

Recently reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association LawyersJournal, the following are questions actually asked ofwitnesses by attorneys during trials and, in certain cases, the responsesgiven by insightful witnesses:

1.”Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep,he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?”

2.”The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?”

3.”Were you present when your picture was taken?”

4.”Were you alone or by yourself?”

5.”Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in thewar?”

6.”Did he kill you?”

7.”How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?”

8.”You were there until the time you left, is that true?”

9.”How many times have you committed suicide?”

10. Q: “So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?”A: “Yes.”Q: “And what were you doing at that time?”

11. Q: “She had three children, right?”A: “Yes.”Q: “How many were boys?”A: “None.”Q: “Were there any girls?”

12. Q: “You say the stairs went down to the basement?”A: “Yes.”Q: “And these stairs, did they go up also?”

13. Q: “Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn’t you?”A: “I went to Europe, Sir.”Q: “And you took your new wife?”

14. Q: “How was your first marriage terminated?”A: “By death.”Q: “And by who’s death was it terminated?”

15. Q: “Can you describe the individual?”A: “He was about medium height and had a beard.”Q: “Was this a male, or a female?”

16. Q: “Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to adeposition notice which was sent to your attorney?”A: “No, this is how I dress when I go to work.”

17. Q: “Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on deadpeople?”A: “All my autopsies are performed on dead people.”

19. Q: “Do you recall the time that you examined the body?”A: “The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m..”Q: “And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?”A: “No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doingan autopsy.”

20. Q: “You were not shot in the fracas?”A: “No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel.”

21. Q: “Are you qualified to give a urine sample?”A: “I have been since early childhood.”

22. Q: “Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did youcheck for a pulse?”A: “No.”Q: “Did you check for blood pressure?”A: “No.”Q: “Did you check for breathing?”A: “No.”Q: “So, then it is possible that the patient was alivewhen you began the autopsy?”A: “No.”Q: “How can you be so sure, Doctor?”A: “Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.”Q: “But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?”A: “It is possible that he could have been alive andpracticing law somewhere.”

Why do Boys Fall in Love with Girls

(This was written by a guy)Don't break this; it's so sweet! :)1. They will always smell good even if it's just shampoo.2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder.3. How cute they look when they sleep.4. The ease in which they fit into our arms .5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world.6. How cute they are when they eat.7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while.8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside.9. The way they look good no matter what they wear.10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful girl on this earth.11. How cute they are when they argue.12. The way her hand always finds yours.13. The way they smile.14. The way you feel when you see their name on the caller ID after you just had a big fight.15. The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know that an hour later...16. The way that they kiss after you have had a fight.17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you".18. Actually...Just the way they kiss you...19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry.20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly.21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt.22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt (even though we don't admit it).23. The way they say "I miss you".24. The way you miss them.25. The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore...26. The way that she looks almost always happy around youYet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitabley consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons, no paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart.A feeling.Only felt.This chain started in 2002.It is a love chain letter.In an hour you are supposed to repost this.Now here comes the fun part.You then say the name of the person you like or love and then the person will say "I love you," or "Will you go out with me?" NO JOKE!!NOW THE CONSEQUENCES!!The consequences are:If you break the chain letter, you will have bad luck in futurerelationships.If you don't break the chain, then you will be a happy camper!!Congratulations!!You have been chosen to participate in the LONGEST and the LUCKIEST chainletter on the internet.Once you read this letter, you must IMMEDIATELY (meaning within the hour)post it with the title "why do boys fall in love with girls?"After you send it, make a wish and it will come TRUE!

Take time and read each sentence

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is weirdo cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now read the THIRD word of ever line.

January I killed

February I smelledMarch I ran naked withApril I jumpedMay I ateJune I shotJuly I danced withAugust I lovedSeptember I kissedOctober I robbedNovember I slappedDecember I stabbed

-Pick the day you were born on-

1 A banana2 A homeless guy3 A house4 A mop5 Barney the dinosaur6 A sock7 A stripper8 My lover9 My teacher10 An iPod11 A movie star12 A phone13 An angel14 A drunk guy15 A crack head16 A pillow17 A cat18 A teletubby19 A hobo20 Paris Hilton21 A dog22 A bird23 Elmo24 A rock star25 My toothbrush26 A glass of milk27 The kool-aid man28 A French fry29 A lesbian30 An emo31 A snowman

-Pick the color of the shirt you wearing-

White Because a hobo stole my taco.Black Because the voices told me to.Pink Because I wanted to.Red Because I’m bringing sexy back!Brown because I’m on crack.Polka dots Because insanity is fun!Purple cuz I’m gangsta my home skillett and biscutz.Gray because I’m cool like datGreen Because big bird told me to.Orange Because I know kung-fu.Maroon because I’m a good girl.Turquoise Because I was chasing the leprechaun.Blue Because that’s how I roll!Tye dye because I’m a freaking scuba diver you got a problem with that? Didn’t think so!Yellow Because the hippies kidnapped me in the middle of the night.None Because The aliens did experiments on me.

-Now read it all together and laugh at yourself! Repost this as what you are...

About six years ago in Indiana, Carmen Winstead was pushed down a sewer opening by five girls in her school, trying to embarrass her in front of her school during a fire drill. When she didn't submerge, the police were called. They went down and brought up 17-year-old Carmen Winstead's body, with her neck broken from hitting the ladder, then the concrete at the bottom. The girls told everyone she fell... They believed them.

FACT: About two months later, 16-year-old David Gregory read this post and didn't repost it. When he went to take a shower, he heard laughter, started freaking out, and ran to his computer to repost it. He said goodnight to his mom and went to sleep, but five hours later, his mom woke up in the middle of the night from a loud noise and David was gone. A few hours later, the police found him in the sewer, with a broken neck and the skin on his face peeled off.

Even Google her name - you'll find this to be true.

If you don't repost this saying "They hurt her," then Carmen will get you, either from a sewer, the toilet, the shower, or when you go to sleep, you'll wake up in the sewer, in the dark, then Carmen will come and kill you

Life isn't about the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away. Like choking.

Weird is good, strange is bad, & odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird & proud of it,copy this onto your profile!

U say I'm not cool. Cool is just another word for cold. If I'm not cold then I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thank U for embracing it!

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

I miss you a little. A little too much a little too often and a little more each day.

If your heart was really broken you'd be dead

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

It's just you an

When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's actually a meteor hurtling toward Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.

There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back.

I'm too tired to punch you. Would you please run your face into my fist repeatedly?

Did you know Sarcasm is your body’s natural defense against stupidity?

If you have strange dreams that never, ever make any sense whatsoever, put this into your profile

The pen may be mightier than the sword, but my keyboard can crush your crummy pen!

If u realize that copying & pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet u do it anyways, copy & paste this into ur profile.

Best friends are the people that know all about and still put up with you :)

I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

I'm on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of something called "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

You can't spell awesome without ME!

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile

You don't like me, well it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter.

Recent studies show that 92% of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8% that hasn't, put this in your profile

I am NOT saying your stupid...I'm just implying it.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy & paste this onto your profile. if they are right... copy & paste this into your profile.

What girls don't seem to know: when a guy acts like he hates you, chances are, he likes you.What guys don't seem to know: when a girl acts like she hates you, chances are, she hates you.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

The world is full of crazy people. They made me their leader.

Don't mess with me, I've got a stick.

Boys are like Slinky's . . . useless, but fun to watch fall down stairs.

Slinky escalator = endless fun

People tell me I'm weird and I say "You just figured that out?"

Best friends are the people that know all about you and still put up with you.

I don't have a short attention span, I just - ooh, a kitty!

I'm not insane . . . I just do whatever the voices tell me to.

Isn't it funny how people who want quiet are always the loudest telling people to shut up?

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

My friends are the type of people who would try to drown a fish, but I love them anyways.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people and their questions.

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you.

Do not disturb, I'm disturbed enough already.

Earth is the insane asylum of the universe.

You can't argue with all the fools in the world. It's easier to let them have their own way, then trick them when they aren't paying attention.

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's actually a meteor hurtling toward Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.

There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

If you are a SUPER MEGA #1 Fabina fan, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you screamed, squealed, and jumped up and down when Fabian and Nina kissed in the Season Finale, copy and paste this to your profile

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back.

Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary.

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you probably haven't fully understood the situation.

If the world gives you lemons, you can make lemonade... or you can make a biologically engineered virulent air-born pathogenic virus that will wipe out the entire population of the planet, which would be a whole lot cooler.

Don't worry about the people in your past, there's a reason they didn't make it to your future.

The rules only apply if you get caught.

I got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the w's.

A true idiot climbs a glass wall to see what's on the other side.

I used all my sick days so I called in dead.

Don't worry about the end of the world coming today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.

Kids are the future. Be afraid, very afraid!

I don't have a short attention span, I just - ooh, a kitty!

Why be difficult, when with just a little more effort, you can be impossible?

You're a great friend, but if zombies chase us . . . I'm tripping you.

So many stupid people, so little duct tape.

I'm too tired to punch you. Would you please run your face into my fist repeatedly?

I have multiple personalities, and none of them like you.

I don't understand white crayons! Why are they here? What do they want from us?

Oh so you think you can break- up with me in a text- Katelyn Tarver- Big time halloween

I did not send that text- Kendall Schmidt- big time halloween

Rocque Records drops you become bankrupt and then you become so stressed you die- James Maslow- Big time girl group

I like yelling- Stephen Kramer Glickman- Big time Move

Oh so now you got all the Jenniferss on your beach blanket- Katelyn Tarver- Big time beach party

He hung up again- Katelyn Tarver- big time beach party

Sandy there is nothing between us, Jo is my girlfriend and she is the only one i want on that blanket with me- Kendall Schmidt- Big time beach party

hey he likes pink smoothies- Logan Henderson- Big time Single

Yeah you and Jo useed to drink them all the time and would laugh- Carlos Pena Big time single

I think you should just forget about me- Katelyn Tarver- Welcome back big time

I'm sorry i can't forget about you, i left you a ticket to Rocktober, if you come, then i know you will give me another chance, and if you don't then i know it is over- Kendall Schmidt- Welcome back big time

Hi 10 bucks, 10 bucks, 10 bucks. -Ciara Bravo- Big time Audition

Mom it is time you stop feeding me dinosaur shaped chicken- Kendall Schmidt- Big time mansion

You cant just walk up all half horsey and say hey let's dance, i have been waiting all day for you to ask me to be your date, but you never did- Katelyn Tarver- Big time dance

we were voted the worst couple- Avan Jogia- The worst couple

FINE= the real definition:

F.reaked Out

I.nsecure

N.uerotic

E.motional

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you ever wished you could live in a story, copy and paste this to your profile.

X You love hoodies.X You love jeans.X Dogs are better than cats.X its hilarious when people get hurtX You've played with/against boys on a team. (kinda)

X Shopping is torture.X Sad movies suck.X You own a games consoleX Played with Hot wheel cars as a kid.X At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.X You own/Ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.X You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.X You watch sports on TV. (used to)X Scary movies are cool.X You go to your dad for advice.X You own like a trillion baseball caps.X You like going to high school football games.X You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.X Baggy pants are cool to wear.X It's kind of weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.X Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favourite colors.X You love to go crazy and not care what people think.X Sports are fun.X Talk with food in your mouth.X Sleep with your socks on at night.

Total: 9

Your girl side:

X You wear lip gloss/Chap stick.X You love to shop.

X You wear eyeliner.X You wear the color pinkx Go to your mom for advice.X You consider cheerleading a sport.X You hate wearing the color black.X You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.X You like wearing jewelry.X Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.X Shopping is one of your favourite hobbies.X You don't like the movie Star Wars.X You were in gymnastics/dancex It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.(probaly less)

X You smile a lot more than you should.X You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.X You care about what you look like.X You like wearing dresses when you can.X You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.X You love the movies.X You used to play with dolls as little kid.X Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.X Like being the star of everything.

If You Live In America, you post this

Why America has some Issues (Yes I live there, but tough. These are clever)

1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'

10. Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.

7 Reasons Not to Mess with Children (small children)

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture."Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.""Yes," the class said."Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"A little fellow shouted,"Cause your feet ain't empty."

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:"Take only ONE . God is watching."Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it "In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".

8. Don't use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.

Don't ever frown, you never know who's falling in love with your smile.

Last night I was laying in bed, looking up at the stars and I thought . . . WHERE THE HECK IS THE CEILING?

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

Welcome to the dark side. Are you surprised that we lied about having cookies?

Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver.

What girls don't seem to know: when a guy acts like he hates you, chances are, he likes you. What guys don't seem to know: when a girl acts like she hates you, chances are, she hates you.

Don't mess with me, I've got a stick.

There's nothing better then knowing that somehow, somewhere, I made someone else smile.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people and their questions.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back. ;)

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

I got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the w's. :(

A true idiot climbs a glass wall to see what's on the other side.

If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

If You are a TOTAL cat person, and proud, copy and paste this on your profile

My Opinion on Reviews: Picture this. You've put your heart and soul into writing a piece (or at least the time) and you're excited that people will finally get to read it. You're filled to the brim with pride and excitement of what people will think of your writing skills. You upload it and publish it.And for some reason you get NO feedback.Yet you get loads of Story Alerts and Author Alerts and Favorites? It's not the same.

I know that feeling all to well. Which is why I live by a code. If I read it. I review it.

It could be the worst story in history, but I still review. I give some kind of grammar advice or compliment. Seriously, guys, if you take the time to add a story to alert or favorite something, take a second to write something for a review. Whether it's just "good job" or "I like it". Something! Because writing is hard to stick with and just one word or two of kindness goes a long way in providing fuel for writers to want to write more for your entertainment.

Kacey writes a poem to Zander, one he'll never get, or will he? maybe from a little meddling from stevie she'll be able to have zanders undivided love. bad summary, plz review, favorite I DO NOT OWN HOW TO ROCK.

When I turned back around, an ominous man in a hoodie appeared, standing only a few feet away from me. You couldn't see his face, similar to the man in Assassin's Creed. A scream then echoed through the forest, but it took me a few seconds to realize that it was coming from me. Unsure of his intentions, I fled from the forest. He hadn't said a word, nor did he follow.

Kaitlyn & Kendall haven't spoken for three years. After the death of one of their 3 year old twin daughters named Bailee dies from cancer, Kaitlyn sends Kendall a letter hoping he'll come to the funeral to make their baby girls wish "To see their daddy." come true. Will Kaitlyn and Kendall ever reconnect? Kendall/OC

Just a collection of chapters of how the boys of Big Time Rush are spending their Spring Break! WARNING: Cute boys and lovely friendship found inside! Only rated T for safety in case of language in later chapters.

It was broad as daylight, that she'd grown, and everything else that comes with growing up. But when she looked at herself in the mirror, phone to her ear, she still looked like naïve, eighteen year old, Nina. And that was something that scared her. She hadn't seen that image since the morning she woke up on the day of graduation…

Let's sweet talk. Let's play fight. Let's talk 24/7. Let's tell each other good morning and good night every day. Let's take walks together. Let's give each other nicknames. Let's hang out with each other's friends. Let's go on dates. Let's talk on the phone all night long. Let's hold each other. Let's kiss and hug. And whoever falls in love first? Loses. Peddie. High T. AU. EV.

After graduating, marriage, and having children, the Sibuna gang is happy to get a break. But will they? With a masked man, 4 powerful enimies, and kiddnapping, Sibuna will never get a break. Fabina, Amfie, Peddie, Jara. It also has their children. Changed Rating to T, for torture and language. Pen name used to be DMonsterz.

Nina doesn't care if it was on purpose or not, because if he wasn't such a klutz then they wouldn't have met. And neither of them wants to imagine a life without the other. Fabina. One-Shot. Rated K Plus. AU.

The only sound was the click of her heels on the hardwood floor. Once she reached the bathroom, she shut and locked the door, sinking to her feet and let out a sob as she cried softly, "He told me he would be here." Rated K plus. Fabina. AU. One-Shot.

Carlos Garcia would be the perfect boyfriend, if only girls could see past his energetic nature. So when Carlos starts to fall for a new girl at the Palmwoods, the boys are willing to do anything to help him win her heart.

She just wants to tell him how much she needs him, but he wouldn't understand. What would happen if he just turned away from her without a second thought? She believes that everything in her life would begin to spiral down, crushing her heart on the way. Everything would turn to blue and grey. She would just wish she had never told him anything. Rated T.

Then again, there's the saying if you love something, let it go, and if it returns to you, it's yours, but if it doesn't, then it was never truly yours. So if Fabian never returns to Nina, well, then they just aren't destined to be together. Rated T.

Long distance relationships don't always work out, but neither of them wants to give up on each other. They aren't going to let an ocean break apart their love. The way they look at it, the distance is only going to make their relationship stronger. Fabina. Rated T.

Camille thought she had the perfect life-handsome boyfriend, kicking place to live, great friends...but suddenly an ultimatum from her dad has made everything seem so bleak. She has to land a serious role before the end of summer...or it's back to Connecticut. Will she have what it takes? Rated T for possible language and eating disorders.

"HOA one shot day" Jerome started off as the perfect boyfriend, but with SIBUNA and jealousy, will Mara start to feel left out? Just a small one shot, no real reason, a happy ending, all that blah. Making the HOA fanbase grow! And remember as always, REVIEW!

Love at first sight, you feel a million different feelings that you can't explain that you get to the point that you become paralyzed. Fabian found the girl of his dreams. Will he be able to talk to her or will he just end up Paralyzed.Rated K .

When Eddie takes Patricia with him to America over spring break, his mom gives Patricia some pictures, causing her to learn an amusing part of Eddie's past. One-shot. Written for anon on tumblr. Review?

I laid back down in my bed, inhaling the faint smell of Eddie's cologne that still clung to the jacket. "I miss you." I whispered into the jacket's sleeve, as though Eddie would hear it. Peddie one-shot. Review?

Zander is the new boy at Brewster High, but what most of the school doesn't know is that he has a sister... More importantly, a sister that Nelson will fall for... NelsonXOC Teen for some crude language

A sweet Fabina oneshot! Fabian is uncomfortable with the fact that Eddie is Nina's Osirion. Can Nina sort things out with Fabian? Or will Fabina end before it can truly begin? It's not the best summary, I know, but please give this a shot!

When a particularly bad storm hits, Anubis House starts to flood, starting with the cellar... and the tunnels. Sibuna still has to find the Mask, so Nina, Patricia, and Amber go into the tunnels and everyone follows. And I mean everyone. Rated T.

An idea I got from the nick boards. Parody of all the Disney shows and what would happen if they did House of Anubis. NOT TO MAKE FUN OF HOA! Farm- girl Nina, Dumb as a brick Amber, Patricia strives to be popular!

The boys of Big TIme Rush are at rehearsals before the kick off of their Better With U Tour, and the guys take a break to talk about Valentines Day. Kendall gets to thinking about a special someone who he can't have but wants anyway. What will he do?

Hollywood Arts catches on fire and while under repairs, all of the students get sent to regular school, and the gang that everyone knows and loves will get split up. How will they survive with all of these changes?

Even if it was for a little while,they would make ends of the Earth meet for Logan because he deserved it even though he refused to believe it.They would take his pain away and let him forget about it...even if it was for a little while. Happy bday Caitee

Patricia is 27 and is in a long distance relationship with an old flame. But she is tired of the rain and living alone. Shes a tough cookie, she can take care of herself, thats why she used all her money on air fare.

"Though it's nothing you haven't heard before, I mean it more today. Believe me when I say: I thank God I miss you." -Ben Rector. Kendall tucks Jo into bed every night, and this time he does it with a song.

"See that rainbow up there, it's like us, no end. We'll never get to the end." When Kendall sees something Jo and Logan hoped he shouldn't have, he worries it's the end of the rainbow. Read and Review.

As he stood in front of me in his full army suit; backpack, combat boots and all, I felt a lump form in my throat. He was braver than I... HAPPY HOUSE OF ANUBIS ONE SHOT DAY 2013! See inside for the complete author list and for a special note! Also, if you want to know more about this epic holiday. Thank you all so much for loving this crazy idea!

The moon was full, but the evening was rather dull. Or it was, until the guys get an idea that leads to trouble. HAPPY SEMI OFFICIAL BIG TIME RUSH ONE SHOT DAY 2013 EVERYONE! Read inside for details and author list!

Jewel week is a one of a kind soccer tournament for kids in school, and Nina gets to go to it with her new soccer team, but her new team always seems to have something up their sleeves... and Nina gets to watch the drama unfold. Rated for safety *Was "Soccer Drama 101"*

The waves of pain washed over Nina. But it wasn't the pain of a broken arm, or a broken leg. It was the pain of a broken heart. She reached to her neck and opened the locket to see a picture of her and Fabian. She had to get over him. *For Rutter66463's Fabina contest!*

"A secret code?" Patricia asked, confused. "Yeah, that way, we can IM each other this summer without our parents knowing what we're saying!" Eddie said, grinning his famous smile. THANKS TO EVERYONE FOR PARTICIPATING IN HOA ONE SHOT DAY!

It's been a long year, but Jo's back, and just minutes after returning home, she hears a nasty rumor that just might change her feelings about everything- including Kendall. Please tell me if this is good!