James's Journal

Okay, so I've been bad and not updated... Feel free to sue me. Anyway, so, this weekend... Christ, I can't even remember what I've done really, but I'll give it a shot. Saturday I was writing my song. Sunday, I was doing a few more bits to that (it's now actually up to a standard I quite like, scary), and just generally playing... Last Thursday when Rachel was over, I actually forgot how to play Santa Monica by Everclear, so I've been practicing that so that I never make such a critical error again. It really is easy - it's just G, D, E, C, but I just couldn't remember how to do the G right (it alternates between 355xxx and 055xxx). Still, I'll not make that mistake again... :o)

Moving on, yesterday evening I decided that I'd had enough of people and technology and houses and everything, and went on a walk. For those who don't know, there's a little stream half a mile out over the fields... Back when I was a kid, we'd ride bikes down there, to "The First Stream", on account of how there were quite a few. It's all just runoff from the chilterns (which our village is right by), so there's about four or five of these little streams that cut through the fields so the south of the village. So anyway, I had a wander down there and just sat on the bridge, watching the water.

It's a bit crappy compared to how it used to be - it used to be this nice gushing little brook, with tiny fish, and places where you could almost jump over it (but you couldn't, no matter how many times you tried to). These days, the water has slowed right down, which has led to more reeds growing in the stream, which in turn slows the water down more, etc... Plus, it's gotten quite a bit wider, which just slows it down even more, and makes it more shallow. It's not really the sort of place kids would go to play any more, it's just a slow-moving puddle. It's a real shame, we used to have such fun down there when we were little.

In other news, I listened to a load of Jimmy Eat World yesterday... It's been like two years or something since I properly listened to them, which is so weird... I used to listen to Jimmy Eat World, Muse, and a load of other bands before they got big, and then stopped for some reason, and I'm not sure entirely why. It was probably about the time I got into Everclear or something, when my musical taste was mostly dictated by the question "Does Art Alexakis sing this?" (a negative answer meaning I didn't listen). Still, it made a nice change, and it was kinda fun to hear something I'd not heard in a while.

Speaking of things I've not heard in ages, I also listened to some Semisonic over the weekend - I used to have everything they'd ever done (I bought all their singles (both versions of each), all their albums, EP's etc.), but then just stopped listening to them. Heard Closing Time for the first time in ages (and noticed how like "Between You and Me" by The Ataris it sounds), which was just fun... However, my copy of their latest album is, for some reason, in Sweden right now. My CDs are scattered all over the world - one album is in France, one in America, one in Sweden... Lollo took it with her when she went home a year ago, and didn't notice. Not that I mind especially, I just think it's funny :o)

But yeah, the weekend was all nice and summer-like. I love summers, there's just something about them which means they hold more memories than other times of year. I can vaguely remember a few winters, springs, and autumns, but the summer is always the season I can remember best - I remember sitting out on the hill in our playing field at primary school with everyone, I remember water fights with my friends all around our houses, I remember playing rugby at secondary school every lunchtime... Then in recent years, the summer has just become this really emotionally charged time for me - in 1999, I flew to Ireland to stay with Karen. In 2000, I went up to Manchester to see Jo. In 2001, I flew to America and lived there for a month with Jen. Three of the happiest times of my life, and they all happened around July/August. No wonder the summer makes me happy. I rather hope that this one still has some surprises left in it...

Anyhow, that takes us more or less to the end of yesterday, so come eleven, I decided to have a bath and go to bed. Managed to spend about an hour in there, on account of how relaxing in a bath is just so good. Plus, I had bubbles - why would I ever want to leave that? :o)

So yeah, went to bed... Mercifully didn't have another nightmare - I keep having bad dreams about my exams, which is really irritating. I know people who are getting on for thirty who still have nightmares about their finals, and I'm not even at that point yet. Most of my dreams just centre around late June, and involve me either missing, or failing an exam. I always either sleep through it and get told I have to leave Uni, or I go in there and I have no idea what any of the questions mean. The stress is doing my head in. Perhaps it'll be better after I get my results - they should be arriving on the 19th or thereabouts.

I mean, it seems stupid to be getting stressed over this. However, I can imagine that it could be worse - after all, if I had actually tried this year, I'd be worried about what grades I'm getting on Friday. As things stand now, all I'm wondering is whether I'll need to go back for some resits in September or not, which isn't really a major worry to me. Or something....

Anyhow, yeah, nice sleep, although it was interrupted at 4am by a massive urge to be violently sick. Fortunately, she stopped texting me, so that's okay... Uh, to clarify, I'm just referring to Sarah and Danuek proving conclusively that the two of them are complete sluts (Ha, Dani, you can't judge me any more) - although it's scary how my little fan-club is now in-breeding - no doubt they'll spawn baby fans, and I'll have to kill them all or something :o)

Moving on to this morning, not much to bother talking about, except that the spiders want my flesh. See, there's a load of spiders that live under my bed, and we live in harmony safe in the knowledge that they kill flies and other insects which irritate me. At least I thought we were living in harmony - turns out, there is no peace here. This morning when I left the house, I managed to walk face-first into a massive spider's web across the garden path. The bastards had laid a trap, and were tring to ensnare me to eat me. Fortunately, being rather a lot larger than the spiders, their plan was foiled and their web destroyed. But still, it's a menacing portent of conflict to come....

Re: smiles

I actually thought it was kinda bad (or, rather, too complicated for a few simple points)... Two paragraphs on the fact that I spent half an hour in a field, random babbling about some CDs, and then at the end, I managed to stretch out "I walked into a spider's web this morning" into some sort of weird paranoia kick about megalomaniacal arachnids....

Although I guess it's not just an account of events, but rather an interpretation of events and how they relate to me. I'm just not sure why anybody would want to read that ;o)

My grades will be bad, I know I'm hovering somewhere between 25% and 45%, just because that's pretty much all the questions I attempted. I don't care that much - I needed time off lectures or I was going to drive myself insane, and if I had to choose, I'd pick sanity over an education any day...