Don’t you admire people who can comfortably talk with anyone? It seems like they’ve never met a stranger. Would you like to be more like them? You can, if you use a NLP mirroring technique that instantly builds rapport with the hardest of audiences. Mirroring works because people like people who are like themselves.

But in life and business, we must build rapport with many people who are not like us. Even so, you can create a connection with people you don’t feel a natural affinity for. You can mindfully and purposefully establish a common ground with them by using NLP mirroring techniques.

Mirroring is the ability to assume another person’s behavioral style in order to create rapport. This happens only when you’re focused and present with the person as you listen with your entire body, not just with your ears. As Tony Robbins says in a very informative video, “style is more important than substance initially”.

For example, many people greet others with a handshake. But what’s their style? There’s the limp-fish handshake, the full-palm connecting handshake, the bone-crushing handshake, the fist-bump and so many more. If you want to build rapport, even if your style normally differs, you need to match your handshaking style to that of the person you meet. It makes them feel like you’re the same as they are.

Next, determine the parameters of their personal space and stay outside their comfort zone. Otherwise, they’ll feel uneasy and will back up or turn away.
As you stand next to them, notice their reaction when you inch closer to and move away from them. You’ll be able to establish where you ought to position yourself in relation to them.

Now you can begin building rapport in earnest by mirroring the person’s style in these following areas:

Mirroring technique – Breathing

Notice the rhythm of their breathing. Do they breathe shallowly or deeply from the diaphragm? Are they breathing rapidly or slowly? Alter your breathing pattern to closely match theirs.

Mirroring technique – Body Language

Be very subtle as you match their posture, gestures, and movements. You don’t want to offend or annoy them by aping their every action. Are they crossing their arms, sitting on the edge of their chair, tapping their foot, gazing at the floor? This body language is signaling that they don’t feel relaxed or comfortable. Cross your arms and shift your glance away from them often as you being to converse. As they relax, they’ll sit back in their chair and cross their legs. As you shift the conversation, mirror them and cross your legs and so forth.

Mirroring technique – Verbal Language

A person reveals if she or he is predominantly a visual, auditory, or kinesthetic individual by the words used. Visual people say, “I see”, “that looks”, or “I get the picture”. Auditory people say, “that sounds good”, or “we’re on the same wave length”. Kinesthetic people say, “I feel”, “how does that grab you?”, or “I’ll be in touch”. Once you establish which representational system they use, start expressing yourself in a similar manner.

Also, start becoming more aware of NLP eye-accessing cues. This is really fascinating!

Typically a visual person moves their eyes up at an angle as their memory of an event is in the form of a mental picture. If so, uses visual phrases like “how does it look to you” or “show me what you mean”.

An auditory individual look directly to the side, as if they’re hearing the recollection. Appeal to him with phrases like “Have you heard…?” “How does this sound to you?”

The kinesthetic individual looks down at an angle as they remember what they felt. Phrases like “how do you feel about…?” will appeal to this person.

Mirroring technique – Paralanguage

Paralanguage refers to speech patterns – their tone of voice, their pace or rate of speech, their pitch, and volume. By listening carefully to how people speak and mirroring their paralanguage, you can get in sync or in tune with them.

Once you build rapport through this mirroring technique, you can move to the next NLP techniques, that of pacing and leading. Whether you’re a salesperson, a supervisor, a coach or a parent, these NLP techniques will help you rapidly develop rapport and influence.

Whether NLP is completely new to you or you’ve been using it for a while, we have a level of NLP training for you – from beginners to masters! Why not check out our NLP Training Calendar and make plans to attend?

Can you relate to this…? You’re teaching a new concept – maybe to a coaching group, your employees or even your children – but there’s one person who just doesn’t seem to grasp the concepts you’re trying to convey no matter what you do or say.

You know she wants to get it, but she’s struggling, and you feel so frustrated. What can you do? Discovering her VAK learning styles should be your first step.

We all have preferences in the way that we learn, whether we’re aware of them or not. Great communicators understand these different learning styles or NLP representational systems. It’s this understanding that allows them to relate to people more deeply and effectively.

Let’s examine the VAK learning styles – visual, auditory, kinesthetic or digital – so you can learn to adapt to the VAK learning style your client, employee, child or friend predominantly uses and how you can reach her more effectively.

Visual people tend to:

Do and say things quickly, because they have movies playing in their minds, which cause their thoughts and conversation to jump around a lot.

Visualize the big picture concepts in order to remember and make decisions.

Prefer person-to-person interactions so they see how the other person reacts.

Speak in a higher pitch.

Sit erect on the edge of their seats with their eyes up.

Gesture a lot.

Be neat, organized and well groomed.

Find it difficult to remember verbal instructions because their minds wander.

Breathe more shallowly from the top of their lungs.

Say, “I see what you mean” or “I get the picture”.

People with the visual learning style need color coded materials such as maps and flow charts. Use checklists, flashcards and note cards so they can organize their thoughts. And as much as possible incorporate images, photos, drawings so they can grasp hard-to-understand concepts.

Auditory people tend to:

Do things rhythmically.

Speak in a mid range level.

Be aware of subtle changes to the tone of voice.

Be able to repeat instructions back to you easily.

Be distracted by noise.

Love to converse and are excellent listeners.

Use some hand gestures and they tilt their head to one side in conversation.

Memorize things in sequence.

Like to be told things and hear feedback in conversations.

Breathe from the middle of the chest.

Say, “that rings a bell” or “that clicks”, or “I hear you”.

People with the auditory learning style need to be engaged in conversation about the subject. Ask her questions and have her summarize the material back to you. Provide recordings of all your sessions.

Kinesthetic people tend to:

Do and say things slowly, because they need time to get in touch their feelings.

Speak in a deeper voice and have long pauses between statements.

Learn by doing.

Respond well to being touched.

Choose comfort over fashion.

Make decision based on their feelings and are interested in how you feel.

Stand close to people so they can feel the person’s energy.

Memorize by walking through the process or doing it.

Breathe from the bottom of their lungs.

Say, “I want to get a handle on it” or “get a grip”.

People with kinesthetic learning style respond well to checklists and diagrams they can physically copy and trace. They especially like textured paper and a variety of writing tools that feel good to write with. Role playing and tactile objects help them learn concepts. And body movement such as snapping fingers and pacing helps them remember better.

People with the digital learning style need facts, figures and logic so they can work things out for themselves. Give them plenty of time and space to work things out in their mind.

Remember that some people have a combination of VAK learning styles. Understanding these differences will help your communication be far more effective, whether you’re speaking to a large audience, a small group or one-on-one.

Did you know VAK is just one aspect of NLP? If you want to learn more about how to communicate a much higher level, please sign up for our newsletter and we’ll keep you up-to-date on our NLP training techniques slated for 2017.

“One must know oneself. If this does not serve to discover truth, it at least serves as a rule of life and there is nothing better.” ~ Blaise Pascal

How well do you know yourself? Are there times you do and say things that you wish you didn’t? At other times, do you surprise yourself by doing things you never thought you could do? The more you know yourself, the better your decisions will be and the richer your life will become. Learning the NLP Representational Systems can greatly accelerate your ability to know how your mind really works.

Being able to identify what NLP Representational Systems you’re using, helps you unlock and access a wealth of information inside you. It helps you understand the way you internally represent your everyday experiences. Knowing how you process information and how you perceive and interpret your experiences can help you influence yourself in a more effective way, and you’ll also understand others better.

NLP Representational Systems are made up of five modalities or senses – Visual (sight), Auditory (sound), Kinesthetic (touch), Gustatory (taste), and Olfactory (smell). These are the neuro part of Neuro-Linguistic Programming. Through these senses your brain codes, stores and gives meaning (or language) to your experiences. This is the linguistic part of NLP.

To make it easy, NLP regularly classifies these modalities as VAK (Visual, Auditory, Kinesthetic). Statistics suggest that in a developed country, people are predominantly 60% Visual, 20% Auditory, and 20% Kinesthetic. Taste and smell are often included in Kinesthetic because people work within the framework of sight, sound and touch most often. Of course, if you rely on smell and taste daily in your line of work, you would consider them as separate from Kinesthetic.

Many NLP practitioners further split Auditory and Visual into two components – Auditory Tonal (sound) and Auditory Digital (inner dialog or self talk) and Visual Analog (shape and color) and Visual Digital (written symbols). It’s also important to distinguish if the modality is internal (something you’re thinking about) or external (something you’re experiencing).

We often access more than one representational system at a time. For example, you can listen to the radio (Auditory Tonal – external), think about what you’re going to say to your employee when you get to work (Auditory Digital – internal) while driving your car (Visual Analog and Kinesthetic – external).

You have a predominant or preferred representational system, although this can change depending on what’s going on in your life. For instance, some people learn better if they can see it, while others learn better if they hear instructions, while still others need to get the feel for how to do it, or to make sense of it. People who excel in life and business have learned to tap into the power of all the representational systems so they can choose the one that’s most appropriate for any given situation.

What are your preferred NLP representational systems? Are you a visual person? Or do you rely on auditory cues mainly? Perhaps you navigate life through your feelings or the kinesthetic system? Both in your personal and professional life, understanding VAK can make the difference in being more successful, creating better outcomes and feeling more skilled in any kind of negotiation. One of the best ways of getting to know yourself, is taking advantage of our Neuro-Linguistic Programming training. Sign up for our newsletter to learn the latest information on NLP and you’ll also be notified when our next class will start.

Are you listening? Often times we’re so busy looking out that when we do tune in, to our inner selves, all we hear is static. However, if you want better health and greater satisfaction in life, you need a deep awareness of your mind body connection. This involves not only identifying physical sensations but also discovering how you feel emotionally about what’s happening at any given time.

The mind body connection is well described by the concept called embodied cognition. It says every thought or ideal is connected with an emotion, which in turn has a physiological response in your body. For example, if you’re feeling heavy you may be experiencing sadness. Shame feels shrunken and withdrawn. Reflect on how the energy of anger makes you feels hot and stormy, while excitement feels energizing.

Emotions live inside your body, changing your physical experience and causing you to believe and act in particular ways. One moment you’re happy (emotion) on top of the world, so you’re feeling spacious and light in the chest (body sensations). Then something happens to make you feel anxious (emotion). It feels like your world is caving in, your shoulders slump and you feel deflated and dull (body sensations).

Conversely, by changing your physiology you can alleviate these body sensations and alter your emotional experience. For example, if you feel shy and uncertain, you can gain confidence by breathing deeply, softening and straightening your spine, lifting your head and looking at people eye-to-eye. The more you practice this, the more confidence will become your natural state. You can actually reshape your emotions just as surely as you can reshape your body through exercise, thereby creating a harmonious mind body connection.

Neuro-Linguistic Programming can help you tune into your emotions and identify each sensation as you experience it. When you honor the messages that your body is sending you via your feelings, you won’t try to over ride them or dismiss them. Instead you’ll be able to suspend any judgment of them, by becoming an observer of them. In this way you can accept them for what they are without passing judgment upon yourself.

Here are five simple ways to reduce static and tune into how your mind body connection works. Observe what body sensations and emotions manifest as you do each of the following:

Regular exercise reduces stress, boosts your “feel good” endorphins, enhances your self-confidence, sharpens your thinking ability, grounds you, and inspires your creativity. When you add another dimension to your exercise sessions – an emotional one – you can channel your negative emotions like anxiety into the physical act of exercise and release it. As you move, invite all of your feelings, whether you view them as positive or negative, to come through your movement.

Improve your posture by sitting or standing in an upright, powerful position because this invites empowering thoughts, whereas slouching invites negative thoughts.

Eat healthfully for your body type. Everyone has a unique biochemistry which greatly influences brain chemistry and emotional state. What you choose to fuel this system will be determined by your metabolism, blood type, genetic history, and activity level. Of course, we all have basic needs for fresh, nutrient-rich, whole foods. When you eat nourishing food feel how it energizes you. When you eat junk food feel how it makes you sluggish.

Deep breathing improves your physical health and helps you remain calm under stressful situations. Feel the stress evaporate as you expand your lungs fully with a number of cleansing breaths of air.

NLP Anchoring allows you to choose your mood or mental state no matter what the circumstances are by psychologically associate a trigger to a emotional response of your choice. When you experience a negative emotion, you can trigger a positive emotion and extinguish the negative one.

The key to controlling your emotions is developing an awareness of exactly WHERE you feel them, HOW they feel in your body, and in WHAT healthy ways you can process them. Neuro-Linguistic Programming can help you become more attuned to what your body and emotions are telling you.

Our NLP trainings are designed to give you the tools you need to create an optimal life. (If you’re reading this in time please come to our special free talk: Choose Life Enhancing Beliefs on Thursday, August 25th. We’ll be meeting with you at 600 Siskiyou, Ashland, Oregon to share how NLP can expand your self-awareness and emotional intelligence as you deepen your mind body connection. Learn more about it by clicking here.)

Would you like to unlock the secret to becoming a more positive person despite the negativity around you? You don’t have to bury your head in the sand or become numb in order to cope with the daily stresses or even traumatic events. You can keep your balance, even when the world around you seems to be falling apart. How? We invite you to learn about NLP presuppositions and see if this isn’t the answer you’re looking for.

What are NLP presuppositions?

Neuro-Linguistic Programming presuppositions are ethical principles, beliefs or guiding philosophies that provide a positive and generative filter through which we see ourselves, others and situations in general. We pre-suppose them to be true and act as if they are true. If we obtain useful results from them, we continue to use them. Hence these beliefs become self-fulfilling.

There are many useful NLP presuppositions. Rather than listing all of them, let’s discuss a few, showing the value of each one. We’ll consider more in the future.

The map is not the territory.

You have your own map of reality. This means you interpret the world around you – what you see, what you hear, what you sense – based on your internalized map of reality, though it may not be reality at all. These interpretations determine how you experience each moment. And they form the foundation for your experience of reality in the future.

By deliberately choosing to interpret your reality differently, you change your experience of it. Your map of reality expands as you ask yourself, “How else can I look at this situation?” This gives you more choices and the flexibility to explore different points of view, which means you can counteract incorrect assumptions about how people operate and why they do the things that they do.

People work perfectly.

Neither you nor anyone else needs to be fixed. When you realize that all behavior has a structure, you see that people aren’t broken. They simply need to understand the structure and find new strategies for doing what they do in order to create a more desirable outcome.

People make the best choice they can at the time.

Give yourself a pass. You did your best according to the level of awareness that was available to you in that moment. As you gain awareness, you may regret past actions, yet you can overcome these regrets by gaining even more awareness.

And if someone caused you pain in the past, they did so based on their level of awareness at that time. They were trying to fulfill a certain value in their map of reality and didn’t know how else to go about it. Using this presupposition allows you to see the past hurt from a broader, more resourceful perspective that enables you to heal and let go.

You already have the resources you need or you can create them.

Resources mean the internal responses and external behaviors necessary for a desired outcome. Everything a person needs to effect a positive change is already in them. Often it’s a matter of not knowing what you know. To access your full range of resources you’ll want to consider yourself in all contexts. For example, perhaps you manage your household well, so then you can use these same skills when stepping into a business leadership role.

There are no unresourceful people, only unresourceful states of mind. When you know how to change your state, you can become more resourceful. State management is the key that either opens or locks the door to the infinite resources inside you. Appropriate states match the kind of resources you desire. For example, to be in a confident state, shift your body posture, breath and self-talk to that which matches confidence. You’ll feel more confident immediately.

There is no failure, only feedback.

Any skill talent or ability can be broken down into components that you can learn. It’s good to recognize that every result along the way gives you information that can cue new thinking abilities, emotional responses, and behavioral patterns. It opens the door to doing it differently next time, giving you the “I can” attitude. Every experience offers positive learning that stimulates intellectual and emotional growth.

We encourage you to try out these NLP presuppositions and see how they really can work for you. When you have a wide variety of choices and flexibility in your emotions, thoughts and behavior, you’ll be better equipped to cope with life’s ups and downs. And if you’d like to learn more about how NLP techniques can transform your life and also your clients’ lives, we invite you to join us for our FREE Presentation – Choose Life Enhancing Beliefs at 600 Siskiyou, Community Counseling Center, Ashland, Oregon, on August 25 at 6:30 pm.

If you’re a business owner you know that keeping up with the increasing complexity of the global economy, technology, lifestyles and business opportunities is extremely challenging. It’s vital for you to deal with change and communicate about change to your team with efficiency and effectiveness.

What is the secret to meeting changes with greater efficiency and effectiveness? It’s dependent on the business-enhancing beliefs you cultivate! This means you consciously nurture thinking patterns and value systems that serve your greater purpose in life. We invite you to discover how Neuro-Linguistic Programming can accelerate this progress.

NLP allows you to peel back the layers of resistance and limiting beliefs that hold you back. It gives you the strength to step out of your comfort zone and to experience an ever-expanding awareness of your own potential. It teaches you to maintain business-enhancing beliefs through resourceful states and strong core values.

So we encourage you to review the following list and reflect on your beliefs as a business owner and as a leader. You don’t have to be a CEO of a large corporation to be a leader. If you use your talents to make a difference, even in some small way, you’re exhibiting leadership qualities. So step into that leadership mindset and make an honest assessment on which areas are your strengths and which ones you’re struggling with as areas for potential growth.

Here are 30 business-enhancing beliefs that are essential for greater efficiency and effectiveness as a leader:

I am positive and optimistic.

I manage my own states rather than reacting with uncontrolled emotions.

I am accountable and can promote accountability in others.

I continually work on limiting patterns and correct them.

I know my big picture vision and I’m not sidetracked from it.

I invite opportunities rather than see weaknesses.

I am open to learning so I can self-correct on my way to excellence.

I am personable and people are comfortable with me.

I generate creative approaches to problems.

I make effective decisions that garner respect from others.

I run effective meetings.

I have enhanced communication skills – verbally and nonverbally.

I advance team communications skills.

I influence others and create change effectively.

I set a powerful example for others to model.

I gladly acknowledge the achievements of others without feelings of rivalry.

I promote my team to enhance their ability and performance.

I am able to match the right people to the right jobs.

I can identify the right value systems for the each job.

I build great rapport with my customers/clients because I talk their language and avoid verbal roadblocks.

I help others resolve conflicts and misunderstandings.

I foster congruency between my values, business processes and people.

I reconcile differences between individual and organizational goals.

I am goal orientated and motivate others to use initiative and creativity.

I leave personal problems behind as I enter into the workplace each day.

I can say ‘no’ without losing rapport or jeopardizing future cooperation.

I draw out high-performance states from others.

I create synergy by harnessing individual initiative into a harmonious group effort.

Don’t be discouraged if you find areas for improvement! We all do. But be assured as you adopt or strengthen these beliefs about yourself as a leader, you’ll foster a climate of trust and understanding with your team, and you’ll see their productivity increase. In turn, excellent service translates into greater customer satisfaction and loyalty. NLP can support you as you create these outstanding results in your business!

Are you ready to unlock more life and business enhancing beliefs? Join us on August 25th at 600 Siskiyou, Community Counseling Center, Ashland, Oregon for our FREE Presentation – Choose Life Enhancing Beliefs. We’ll be sharing life-changing information that you can use right away.

Those who live outstanding lives know that every day we cycle through various states. Many states are resourceful, such as contentment, excitement, or satisfaction. Others are un-resourceful states such as anger, resentment, or fear. Your state is caused by the interaction between your thinking patterns, physical well-being and neurochemicals that produce your emotions. Therefore, state management is the key to becoming highly effective.

What is state management? When you alter any of these factors – your thinking, physiology, and emotions – you can alter your state, which in turns gives you the ability to change the quality of the results you receive. As you gain greater awareness of you actions (i.e., posture, breathing, facial expression) and learn to alter these in a way that serves you, you gain the ability to change how you feel.

This doesn’t mean you never feeling negative but it means you have awareness of how you’re being at any given moment and you consciously choose your response.

Imagine having the skills to make the best of any situation. When you spend the majority of your time in resourceful states, you’re more likely to lead a successful and effective life. Remaining in a non-resourceful state, however, only causes you to say and do things that draw tension and complications into your life.

Of course, this is easier said than done. So we’d like to share with you five steps for boosting your state management skills.

1. Identify your state. Make a list of all your states over the next month. Start by checking in with yourself right now and notice your present state.

What body sensations are they causing (i.e., relaxed, knot in your stomach)?

Once you notice your state, think about how this state limits or empowers you. Do you like yourself in this state? If not, since you’ve identified it, you can now work at changing it.

2. Identify the triggers. Make a list of all your triggers. Track each state back to the moment it begins. Was it something someone did, a memory, or something you did?

3. Neutralize the un-resourceful triggers. Don’t ignore what’s bothering you. Have the courage to confront and deal with it. When you do, you’ll quickly clear out the triggers. If your un-resourceful state comes from past trauma, identify what that state is doing for you. As if talking with a person, internally ask your state, “What is your positive intent for me?” In many cases you’ll discover that you’re protecting yourself from a threat, either real or imagined. Now, you know what issue to address. (It may be advantageous to work with a professional when resolving these issues.)

4. Build a foundation of positive triggers into your daily routine.

Identify the states that empower you (i.e., harmony, efficiency, creativity).

Identify their triggers – an event, a person, or a memory.

Look for common themes among them (i.e., a person, hobby or concept).

Consciously design a weekly schedule that includes those triggers. Start each day with one and add 2 more throughout the day (i.e., journaling, exercise, meditation, music, friendship)

Finish you day in a resourceful state by planting a positive trigger in the evening (i.e., nice meal, reading a book, time with a loved one).

5. Advanced state management.

Alter your mental image. Your state relies on the mental pictures you make about an object or a circumstance. Use all your senses – sight, hearing, touch, taste, and smell as you alter the mental pictures you create – not just what you’re picturing, but how you’re picturing it. For example, in your mind’s eye instead of making the threat larger and more terrifying than it really is, consciously reduce its size and see how your emotions shift.

Alter your internal dialogue or self-talk. Keep your inner dialogue uplifting. Be your own champion. If you have an inner critic, give it a voice like Mickey Mouse so you don’t take yourself so seriously.

We’ve found that nothing helps like Neuro-Linguistic Programming when it comes to developing this self-awareness that supports state management. Are you ready to pursue excellence in your life through Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) techniques? You’ll find it accelerates your abilities to think, act and communicate. We invite you to learn more at a FREE Presentation – Choose Life Enhancing Beliefs at 600 Siskiyou, Community Counseling Center, Ashland, Oregon, on August 25 at 6:30 pm.

Breathless, clammy, fuzzy, hot, heavy, dizzy, queasy, or shaky are a few body sensations you may experience when you’re frazzled. What if you could replace those sensations and feel energized, full, expansive, smooth, and radiating? It would definitely not only enhance your productivity, it would make you more joyful and confident.

The key to learning how to increase productivity is creating greater body awareness. You’ll often hear people speak of the mind-body-spirit connection. Yet doesn’t it seem like the mind and spirit get most of the attention? What about your body? By increasing your body awareness you’ll be amazed how it enhances your productivity.

Your emotions are experienced and stored in your body and manifested through body sensations. So for example, when you’re happy (emotion) you’re feeling spacious and light in the chest (body sensations). Then someone says something that makes you feel anxious (emotion) so your shoulders slump and you feel deflated and dull (body sensations).

Do you see how body awareness is the key to unlocking your energy and productivity? The good news is you actually have the power to change what your body feels! For example, if you’re feeling timid and uncertain, you can breathe deeply, soften and straighten your spine, lift your head and look people in they eyes. The more you practice this, the more it will be your natural response to feel self-confident and self-assured. And your productivity will skyrocket!

Do you want to increase your body awareness? Here are some simple ways to get better acquainted with how your body responds to emotions. Observe what body sensations and emotions manifest as you do each of the following:

Get regular exercise. It’s been proven to reduce stress, boost your “feel good” endorphins, enhance your self-confidence, sharpen your thinking ability, ground you, and inspire creativity. Are you feeling anxious? Channel your anxiety into the physical act of exercise and release it. Invite all of your feelings, whether you view them as positive or negative, to come through your movement.

Improve your posture. Sitting in a slumped, helpless position invites thoughts and memories to manifest. Sitting in an upright, powerful position invites empowering thoughts and memories.

Focus on your muscles. By relaxing and contracting mindfully through all of your muscles groups you create deeper mind/body awareness that allows you to move more freely.

Engage in visualization. Imagine yourself enjoying the benefits of reaching your goal. Do you want to get a project you’ve been procrastinating for years finally done? Visualize how great that feels in your body. The more engaged you become in this, the more your brain actually believes it to be true.

Re-center. If you feel like you’re under attack, you’re out of balance and are possibly operating from a place of disrespect or distrust. Instead of giving in to the fight or flight response or freezing up, use centering and breathing techniques that promote emotional calmness and mental alertness that enable you to respond gracefully to even the most stressful situations.

An awareness of what you’re body is telling you is essential to living and enjoying a more productive life. When your body is congruent with your mind and spirit, you’ll be able to control the physiological responses to stress instead of feeling frazzled!

If you’re interested in pursuing excellence in life and discovering how to increase productivity, have you considered Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)? It may sound intimidating but really it’s a liberating way of thinking and communicating. We invite you to learn more at a FREE Presentation – Choose Life Enhancing Beliefs on August 25 @ 6:30 pm – 8:00 pm.

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) teaches us that we can choose any state of mind at will. This means that you can experience peace, joy, gratitude, or relaxation no matter what is happening in your life. Of course, this will take practice. There’s one technique that helps you access your desired state of mind more quickly – it’s NLP anchoring.

NLP anchoring usually involves a touch, gesture or word as an “anchor”, like a bookmark for a desired emotion. When the anchor is repeated at a later time, the desired emotional or mental state is quickly and subtly accessed.

NLP anchoring can be especially useful in clearing the past. Often we hold positives as random experiences and negatives as patterns. By intentionally anchoring positive experiences, the brain can also experience them as patterns, furthering brain integration.

Science demonstrates why NLP anchoring techniques work so well. Russian scientist, Ivan Pavlov, famously demonstrated how conditioning works. He rang a bell every time dogs were fed. Soon the dogs associated the smell and taste of food with the sound of the bell. So even if the food was not present, the dogs would salivate at the sound. The bell (an external trigger) caused a real physiological response (salivation) even though the smell and taste were absent.

NLP anchoring similarly causes you to psychologically associate a signal or trigger (placing your hand on your chest, snapping a rubber band, squeezing your fingers) with a physiological response (an emotion, mood, or mental state) of your choice. When you experience a negative emotion, you can trigger a positive emotion and extinguish the negative one. This allows you to choose your mood or state of mind no matter what the circumstances are.

Do you want to give NLP anchoring a try?

Seven Easy Steps to learning NLP Anchoring Technique:

1. Decide on the state you want to anchor. For example, being relaxed.

2. Recall a memory or imagine a situation where you experience that state of mind. Make it very detailed and vivid, using all your senses.

3. When the experience is vivid and you’re in the desired state, connect it with a part of your body. For example, give your left index and middle fingers two quick squeezes with your right hand.

4. Now, open your eyes, count down from 10 to break state and distract yourself.

5. Apply the anchor by just squeezing those two fingers and check that the desired state or relaxation occurs again.

6. You may need to repeat the anchoring process a number of times to make the experience sufficiently intense.

7. Use your new anchor in a situation where you want to experience the desired state. For example, when you’re feeling stressed during an intense conversation, squeeze your fingers and make sure it creates a sufficiently robust resourced state of relaxation.

NLP anchoring techniques are best learned under the guidance of a trained professional. Please join us in Medford, Oregon, on July 7th, for our FREE talk, Choose Your State of Mind. We’ll share with you tips on how to use NLP to empower your mindset to handle any situation. Click here to register or learn more.

“I feel so comfortable with her. She really gets me.” “I just met her, but it feels like we’re old friends already.” Have you ever felt this way about someone? They instantly put you at ease and you’re sharing things you never thought you would with a total stranger. How do they do it? This skill is called building rapport. And a great way to learn rapport skills is through mastering NLP techniques.

Building rapport involves three main stages – mirroring, pacing and leading. Rapport helps to build trust and effective communication with others. Remember, we communicate through body language, voice tonality and actual words. So, let’s take these stages one at a time and imagine how you can help your upset daughter feel better. Then you’ll be able to apply these exact same skills to every situation in life.

Mirroring: Start with deep awareness of your daughter’s body movements and positions, her facial expression and tone of voice. As you identify each one, match or mirror the same in your own behavior subtly.

If she’s slumping down in her seat and looking at the floor, do the same. If she’s speaking slowly with short sentences, do the same. If she’s breathing quickly, do the same. If her arms are crossed defensively or she’s tapping her foot, do the same.

Ask non threatening questions and try to find some common ground. Notice the way she speaks – the type of words she uses and the speed and tone of voice. Mirror them back to her. If you’re careful, she won’t feel like you’re mocking her. You’ll visibly see her start to relax as she feels the rapport building. This harmony and rapport will put her at ease.

Pacing: Now, you can slightly deepen and slow your breathing. Lower the tone of your voice. Uncross your arms and sit up straighter. You’ll see her start to mirror your new behavior. You can now consciously start pacing a more positive body position. You’ll soon see that she unconsciously notices the shift in your body position and when she follows every time, you can begin leading her to a more positive state.

Leading: Gradually and discreetly change your body posture to a more relaxed but positive state. Lift your head and increased eye contact and start smiling. Start speaking with more energy and volume, but don’t overdue it or be too abrupt, so you don’t startle her. You’ll know you’ve built a solid rapport when she relaxes and starts smiling slightly or she speaks with more animation.

Building rapport takes keen observation, suspending judgment and intentionally leading to a more positive state of mind. You can improve these skills by practicing them at every opportunity and being aware of their effect. Once you know how to build rapport with someone, you can use it to influence and motivate them, making it easier to get to know them and enjoy their company.

If you can make it, we’d love for you to join us for a FREE talk we’re giving on July 7th in Medford, Oregon. Its topic: Choose Your State of Mind. We’ll discuss how you can further use NLP techniques to deliberately go to a chosen state of mind wherever and whenever you wish.