Adam Levine catches Holocaust AIDs from Honey Boo Boo

THERE is now so much entertainment out there theta the EU’s celebrity silos are at breaking point. You can know about people being famous whilst having no idea why they are famous. Take Adam Levine an Honey Boo.

I’ve only ever read about them in magazines on on the internet. A quick look reveals that Honey Boo Boo is the child star of a pisspoor reality telly show in which she is ridiculed by the knowing in exchange for being written about and having bars of fat tossed into her cage. Levine has tattoos, stiff hair and current fashions. He is either a footballer (which he isn’t) or a pop singer (which he is).

Adam is also a judge on a TV pro-am singing contest called The Voice, in which he pretends to be blind.

“Seriously, Honey Boo Boo is the DECAY of Western civilization. Just because so many people watch the show doesn’t mean it’s good. So many people witness atrocities and can’t take their eyes away from them, but that doesn’t mean they’re good. That show is literally The. Worst. Thing. That’s. Ever. Happened. It’s complete fucking ignorance and the most despicable way to treat your kids. Fuck those people. You can put that in the magazine: Fuck those idiots. They’re just the worst. Sorry, I’m so sensitive to that—like, I don’t know, man, it’s upsetting. Just to clarify, I said, “FUCK THOSE PEOPLE.”

What did Honey Boo Boo do to Yoo Yoo, Adam? We can wonder. Magazines will. The one thing can say is that Levine has seen and heard everything. He has had cancers, AIDs and herpes. He has survived the Holocaust. He has watched his parents murdered before his eyes and had his child raped by advancing Russian soldiers. He has seen every episode of Hollyoaks, survived on Air India economy class rations for a year and listened to tape recording of Ed Miliband saying “sausages” on loop while people on Twitter call him a paedophile and beat him with verbal sticks.

Either that or his knowledge of life is on par with a child raised on sweets and Red Bull whose parent think TV will make them slim and complete…