ICBM Program Quotes #85Eighty Fifth Edition of The: Top 10 Quotes Overheard in the ICBM Program

10) “General, we know we don’t have our $%!# in a pile, but we’d like to have
sole program authority.”

9) “If the dinosaurs had brains bigger than a peanut this is surely how they
would have felt.” (officer referencing the demise of the Missile Operations badge)

8) “Sometimes I feel we need to run the recall for Capt. ________ so that
when he shows up for work his nose is white and his ears are clean. I
worry about him a lot.”

7) “If I stop bull$%^ing, will you stop giving me stuff to do?”

6) “I could have been in Public Affairs, but I would rather nuke people than
deal with them.” (ICBM officer)

5) “Some days there are people that try to take all the fun out of nuclear war.
Today is not one of those days.”

4) “If it wasn’t for EWO, we would all just be a bunch of computer operators.”

3) “If we are going to endanger millions of people, maybe we should call it a
‘Significant Military Exercise’.

2) “The (MCCC) SPO wants to drive the train, but their not really engineers,
they are really more like coal shovelers.”

Now, the #1 quote overheard in the ICBM program...

1) “Remember when I told you that if you go to [notorious defense contractor] for command and control software, you sort of expect to wake up in the morning to find
your daughter pregnant and all the change off of your dresser drawer
missing? What I failed to mention is that on their way out of the front door,
they burn down your house.”