Monday, June 17, 2013

Diary oh diary 17-6-2013

Today the florist called. The flowers that I bought for her is supposed to be sent today. Something that I've planned several months ago. I wanted to send her flowers every month until the end of the year and finally proposed to her. And we'll build a warm family together.

I told the florist that there's a change in my plan. She always said I always didn't have plan, this time she's wrong. I had one, but it wasn't losing her. And I collected the flowers myself. It's sad that such a sweet bouquet of roses now lying in my trunk waiting for the end of their course. I wondered if we're still together, how would she feel? I have managed to train myself from contacting her. Every time I took up my phone to write something for her, in the end I deleted the message and told myself "she needs time, she needs time, she needs time". So far it's working fine.

Again I hit the gym afterwork but was not satisfied the session. Like hell did I worked myself out but only sore on the arms not the chest and back. I have made sure that in the end of the session I won't be able to lift my arms properly but my chests feel flabby. There no tiredness at all. I think starting this Wednesday I'll begin working out the chests and wing portion before the rest. Recently I've been more discipline in working out, attending to customer and my work, reading more to learn and even attended some seminars. I'm opening up my mind to the world around me. I want to change to a better person, and I'm changing because I want her back.

If we meet again, just the two of us, I want to tell her "hey, thank you, you've made me a better person". I miss her.