Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Sometimes working with young children means that you hear things about family life that most parents would like the general population to be ignorant on. Other times, children say things that are funny to adults that they don't completely understand. Other times children do things that are so unpredictable and hilarious that the only thing to do is to sit back and have a good laugh. Working with very young children makes that even more unpredictable. One such event happened today. While dropping a toy for another one, this frog found itself in a very compromised position. Which only leaves me wondering, "What did this frog do to deserve this?!"

Sunday, April 12, 2009

I think I pushed my cold too far. I should have taken a day off or two before it got as bad as it did. Yep, I ended up in ER on Saturday night. I wanted to go to the Easter Vigil, especially since I had made it to the Good Friday service on Friday at Our Savior, but I didn't make it to the other service that Tim preached at. My lungs felt like they were collapsing in on themselves and to make matters worse, I felt like I couldn't get enough oxygen. The final diagnosis: pneumonia.

However, the poor nurse that had to deal with me in ER probably didn't know what to do with me! They checked my vitals and then took X-Rays (where the pneumonia showed up) and last (but certainly not least) they took blood. However, since I was in ER, they decided to start a line. I hate needles. I have a terrible fear of them. I also hate blood. I hate seeing it, I hate having to deal with it. Put two fears together and you already have a recipe for disaster! However, for me, starting a line is so much worse because it stays in. I wouldn't have reacted completely as bad I think if it was simple- poke in, take out, all done! Oh, no, IVs hurt, and worse than that, YOU CAN SEE BLOOD not to mention the fact that you know there's still a needle in you (I know, it's not really a needle per se, but same thing in this phobic mind!).

Well, I handled it in my traditional way before learning how to deal with stuff like this! The only way I have found that I can make it through getting blood drawn/IVs put in is to take very deep slow breaths. There's only one problem with that when you already have a tight chest and cough when you breathe in too far- you can't do it! So, in typical me fashion, I panicked. I puked. It was great. The nurse I think panicked a bit, too, because he gave up and left me alone for a while. The doc was wonderful and got a prescription for an anti-anxiety right away. So, the next time, it wasn't nearly as traumatic, for me or the poor nurse!!

I always feel so helpless and stupid when I have that kind of reaction to simple medical procedures, but at the same time, I don't know what else I can do except work to make next time not so bad (and pray that there won't be a next time)!

Monday, April 6, 2009

As I have been looking over my blog lately, I started thinking about the number of posts that I seem to have made about myself. Granted, this is my blog, so that makes sense. However, this got me thinking about whether or not I have made me an idol in my writing. I should hope I haven't, but the sinful flesh always has ulterior motives, including hoping that I increase those who read my blog and make myself popular. So, for that, I should be in repentance and realize I am at God's mercy. However, though my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, this isn't a bad thing because my baptism washed me in Jesus' blood and God sees Christ when He looks at me. At God's mercy means I am forgiven and saved!

However, this did make me think further. I do not search out of guilt but out of curiousity. Can a disorder be an idol? Lots of times we think about an idol being something that we believe in that will save us. Be it money or a false god, the idol we have gives us something that we would otherwise lack. But a disorder? It's a burden, a cross, a hardship. It's hardly desirable and can do nothing but bring torment and harshness. But, if it is at the center of one's being, if it is at the center of everything that a person does, if it is at the core of how a person defines themselves, could it then be an idol?

An interesting thought. I would love feedback (and not just to increase readers! ;))