I don't really care how much the latest superhero film took at the box office, although I'd probably know if you asked me. When I watch a film the main thing I am looking for is a good story. I like it when I look up at the big screen and can see a part of me staring back at me. More than anything, I am still looking for Jimmy Stewart and Jack Lemmon and Billy Wilder in every film I see.

Friday, 9 October 2015

What Was This Place?

I'm a little in awe of the me that used to write this site. I was posting almost daily. Full of ideas and, not to sound egotistical, but insights (sometimes). I had so much to say. And looking at the comments, so did all of you. We had a real debate going. We were in something together.

But as with so much of the internet, eventually it becomes an abandoned wasteland. Over a thousand blog posts and they hardly ever get read. How many of the readers forgot this existed? How many of the comments that fascinated me have dropped from my mind?

Everything is impermanent, including this blog. I mean, it still exists here as a relic, but what does it all mean?

Years ago, I had great aspirations for it. I wanted to be a real voice when it came to talking about creativity and independent film. I went out of my way to interview some great people.

Then I don't know what happened. I lost my passion for it, I guess. Hard to say that because so much of what I wrote about here was how to find and nurture your passion. But if you were to follow all my advice maybe you'd have ended up just as burned out as me, which is good for no-one.

Another aspect is that this blog dried up around the time my professional life stepped up a gear. I just don't have the time to write here in the way I used to. My plan was just to step back when the inspiration came. It just never really did. And when a thought did come up, it wasn't exciting enough to write.

I don't know where everyone went. These types of personal blogs died years ago - a few top names survived but generally the total mindfuck of social media and hyper-prolific gossip blogs trashed people's attention spans. Sure, you might like to read a blog like this, but you're unlikely to even be able to find it. Especially as the lifeblood of blogging was the community -- we'd read each other's blogs, comment, and share. But after Twitter, it became a crapshoot. Sure I may have over a thousand followers but if I share your post or mine, maybe two people will follow the link. Twitter promises much but often delivers little.

The audience went and so did my creativity. I look back on all this fondly, and am nostalgic for the day I was a little more naive and yes, a little more freely creative. I'd just open up the page and words would come out.

If any of you find this post, I hope you're doing well - in your creativity but most importantly, in your life.

I loveee your blog, discovered it around 2013. This post is heartbreaking, but is just me being selfish. I'm glad your professional life took off. I will miss your intelligent writing and inspiring insight about films. Thank you for the legacy of KID IN THE FRONT ROW!!! ALL THE SUCCESS :)

I pretty much second all the previous comments. I've checked back every once in a while, hoping for a new post, only to be disappointed when there were none. So when this came up I was excited... until I read it and started tearing up because it feels like goodbye. 'Heartbreaking' is exactly the right word. (Also, you nailed that bit about Twitter and that's one of the saddest parts.)Miss you, Kid. But good luck in your professional/future endeavours.

Hey, Kid. Don't know if you remember me, but a year ago, I left a comment on how much your blog inspired and pushed me, and you wrote the post, "Alex in the Front Row", in return.

I'm doing well - in college and learning a lot about life. Still in love with film, and now, music. I hope you're doing great, I'm glad your professional life is taking off, and I hope it's in line with your passions and ideals. Thank you for all the creative encouragement all these years!

Kid, hope you're doing well. I was just searching for a blog like yours, scouring through new LAMBs (http://www.largeassmovieblogs.com/) and finding very few. Sad to see that the personal film blog community has been sort of disappearing. I suddenly felt inspired to write about the movies these past few days, but have found very few people to commiserate with.

It was everything I needed and more at a critical juncture in my life. Our little community became cherished by me and generated hope when my life was confusing and bleak. It sparked creativity, courage and, ultimately, change. And I desperately needed change. Thank you for that. Most sincerely.

I wasn't sure what I'd find here, it's been a while. Thanks for the great reads. Hope your career, and creative pursuits, continue to develop. Did you ever make it to the Wimbledon Curzon? (Unlikely to be a memorable comment, but worth a visit nonetheless!)

I wasn't sure what I'd find here, it's been a while. Thanks for the great reads. Hope your career, and creative pursuits, continue to develop. Did you ever make it to the Wimbledon Curzon? (Unlikely to be a memorable comment, but worth a visit nonetheless!)

Coming across this now, as I'm coming across my blog I used to write in all the time as well! We used to read each other's posts and comment so often! I always felt inspired by your writing. I'm glad I came across it again.