Waiting
outside the bathroom with a fluffy blue towel, a rubber ducky named
Gregory, and a shower cap, Renji was pacing back and forth, irritated
that the elitist bastard that was his captain, Kuchiki Byakuya, was
taking SO DAMN LONG in the shower. It WAS a new shower, Renji
reminded himself, so maybe Byakuya was having difficulties figuring
out how to wor-

Did he just hear a moan coming from the
bathroom?

Nah, not possible, it was just the tired
vice-captain's imagi-

Okay, this time Renji KNEW he heard a
moan. A really loud one. A really loud,
I'm-in-an-erotic-moment-that's-too-hot-to-believe moan. And it was
coming from the bathroom...

But only Byakuya was in the
bathroom, right? RIGHT? Even though he WAS the captain and was
probably a babe (and man) magnet, that didn't mean...oh man...

CUT
TO INSIDE BATHROOM

Kuchiki Byakuya was in heaven, total,
mind-blowing heaven. "Oh yeah, that's it, oh yes," he said,
shampooing his hair. He was definitely going to recommend this to the
other captains. The super-new Dirt Reaper 4.5 Shower with four
different kinds of water massagers and voice-activated heat control
plus a TV inside the shower...how much better could it
get?

Ohh...his favorite soap opera was on. No, was Claudia
really going to have sex with Charlie's evil twin Victor? Couldn't
she see it wasn't him? Too late. She was already getting down and
dirty with Victor. Damn evil twins, thought Byakuya, as he rinsed out
the shampoo.

OUTSIDE THE BATHROOM

Renji was hearing
things that he really thought he shouldn't be hearing. Some woman was
into there, and she was basically screaming/moaning/screwing her mind
out, because she just yelled out, " Faster, harder, that's
right, oh my god..." And then, this part Renji thought was the
worst, he heard a MAN that WAS NOT Byakuya saying, "Give it to
me baby" and other such things, all the while having Byakuya's
screaming and what not melting into the noises.

It was a
frikkin threesome and it was getting really dirty. This would be
something that he was going to have difficulty telling the other
vice-captains tomorrow at lunch...

INSIDE THE BATHROOM
(again)

Byakuya was getting the best massage of his life. The
water hit right in between his shoulder-blades, right where he was
feeling sore after a two hour training session. He couldn't help
whimpering. It was the sexiest thing he knew, next to himself of
course.

While replacing the vanilla and cinnamon scented body
scrub, Byakuya noticed to digital clock in the shower. It was almost
1:00 PM? Uh oh, he had a captain weekly report to give in an hour.
The captain quickly turned off the show (now Claudia was telling
Charlie that she was having his baby) and wrapped a fluffy orange and
pink striped towel around his very wet, red, and splochy (massage
burn, Byakuya noted), muscled body. When he quickly opened the
bathroom door, he saw his vice-captain Renji staring at him in a sort
of dazed, traumatized way.

Inferiors. The audacity.

Byakuya
strode majestically away, dripping and wrapped in his striped towel.
Renji couldn't help but notice that he had some red marks on his
back, and that he looked very tired.

Renji frankly didn't
want to know what just happened.

But that was over now, and
he jumped into the bathroom without a second thought. He was tired
enough and dirty enough and traumatized enough to force himself to
push the distrubing hot-sex-insane-orgasm sounds out of his mind.
Before jumping into the shower, Renji marveled at the impressive
technology that was just about to get him clean. This could be
therapeutic, the best way to clear his mind.

Little did he
know, fragile little vice-captain Hinamori was waiting outside for
HER turn in the new shower, and from what she could gather, Renji was
servicing a HAREM in there.

End

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