Chris Moyles and the Arqiva Awards.

First off, I think I should say congratulations to every person and station nominated in the Arqiva Commercial Radio Awards. For as much grief and complaining about commercial radio as I and many others do, I appreciate that these people work very hard in making commercial radio that stands out from the crowd, and whether I personally like them or their shows or not, I think it's very safe to say that these people have earned their nominations, and I wish them all well.

That's not to say I don't have some preferences for winners. I'd especially love to see John Suchet of Classic FM win Presenter of the Year, because I think he is a natural communicator and a real joy to listen to.

But Chris Moyles on Radio X, having a rant at the Arqivas because he wasn't nominated. There's lots of words I could use here, but it comes down to one thing. That guy has always believed his own publicity. He declared himself "the saviour of Radio 1" and whilst he is and always has been a good presenter, I have never thought of him as particularly great or standout, and I'm afraid that his ego may have gotten the best of him here.

And I have done some performance stuff where I've played a role for the purpose of a link, and sometimes it's way more effective than playing something straight.

You can usually tell when someone's 'role playing'. It's funny, it's usually bang on, and you end up having a good laugh out of it.

This was none of those. It was the classic "I'm not bringing it up" trope for 6 whole minutes. That's never funny in the slightest, because it's always fake. Why spend 6 minutes talking about something you're "not bringing up"???

I didn't know he wasn't eligible to enter, but it kinda sounds like either he didn't know, or he didn't like that he couldn't enter. This didn't come across as performance, this came across as ego, and even if it was 'in character', that's not a character that plays well to my ears.

Purely my opinion, but if that had been me, I wouldn't have wasted that 6 minutes, I would have used it on something more productive.

I think the joke's on you, if you think there's anything remotely humorous about it. There's no humour there. There's nothing except ego. Claiming there's anything remotely approaching humour in that link, is like claiming that you'll stay dry if you stand outside in a rain storm, or like claiming that black is white or red is green, or Obama is Kenyan.

Have you never noticed that different people can find different things funny?

Yeah, like the kind of jokes Conservatives tell, or the kind of jokes the mentally ill tell, or the kind of jokes the likes of Roy "Chubby" Brown tell. They are not really funny at all, they are using bigotry and hatred as a basis for humour. That might have worked back in the 1970s, but it doesn't have much appeal any more.

Ian, I can't agree with you at all. I think there may have been one of two trains of thought going through Chris's head. First is that it was all a very much tongue-in-cheek rant, something he is well known for, fully aware that they couldn't have been nominated this year. And it was funny!
The second option is that he didn't know he couldn't be nominated and was genuinely surprised. That does smack of an over-inflated ego to some, but I'd agree with him! He's a talented broadcaster who knows what his audience wants. He makes a good show and it's now all I listen to in the morning. Should he have been eligible, I would've been amazed if he wasn't at least nominated. Perhaps it's not the most high-brow or the most thought provoking show, but for a light-hearted, funny, easy start to the day, it's perfect.
I may choose to bash Jon Suchet as he doesn't tell many jokes, I rarely hear a bad celebrity impression and when's the last time he had a good old-fashioned moan? The thing is, that's not what he's about. Which is why I don't listen to him - it's not my cup of tea.
This is why it's nice to have such a large choice of stations out there in the hope that there's something for everyone, and Moyles is the morning presenter for me.

I think there may have been one of two trains of thought going through Chris's head. First is that it was all a very much tongue-in-cheek rant, something he is well known for, fully aware that they couldn't have been nominated this year. And it was funny!

I don't disagree that he was trying to be tongue-in-cheek, which yes, he is known for, just that he didn't pull it off, in part because he presented it using the old "I'm not bringing something up" trope for 6 long minutes, a trope that quite frankly should have been quietly killed off a long time ago.

The second option is that he didn't know he couldn't be nominated and was genuinely surprised. That does smack of an over-inflated ego to some, but I'd agree with him! He's a talented broadcaster who knows what his audience wants. He makes a good show and it's now all I listen to in the morning. Should he have been eligible, I would've been amazed if he wasn't at least nominated.

Admittedly, I was surprised that he wasn't nominated, but I don't claim to know what goes on inside the heads of the judges of these competitions, so I don't try to second guess them. Yes, he's talented, but so is Christian O'Connell, who got nominated for Presenter of the Year. Neither presenter I am particularly a fan of, but I recognise both are talented individuals, as is Robin Banks, who was nominated in Breakfast Show of the year category.

I may choose to bash Jon Suchet as he doesn't tell many jokes, I rarely hear a bad celebrity impression and when's the last time he had a good old-fashioned moan? The thing is, that's not what he's about.

And that's why he doesn't do it that way, he just does himself, which is something I happen to think is a good thing in a radio presenter. That's why I happen to like him, because he does come across as a natural personality. Purely a personal preference, just as you like Chris Moyles.

We know from history that presenters lose their gigs and/or jobs very soon after they win awards, for no apparent good reason.

I'm not sure we do: let's test this out, courtesy of the presenter-led awards at last year's Arqivas...

LBC picked up three Gold gongs on the night – Nick Ferrari for Presenter of the Year (2 million+ TSA), Tom Swarbrick won Journalist of the Year in the Ali Booker memorial prize and LBC was also awarded Gold for Station of the Year (2 Million+ TSA).

Nick's still there; as is Tom; as is LBC boss James Rea

That awards tally was matched by Absolute Radio who scooped Gold in the Specialist Programme of the Year category with Rock n Roll Football; Single Programme or Broadcast of the Year with The Clarke Carlisle Story and Absolute’s Christian O’Connell also received The Arqiva Gold Award.

All still there, including the PD.

Kiss’s Andy Roberts received Gold for Programmer of the Year and Kiss was also awarded Gold for the Station Imaging Award.

He's still there too

Trev & Caroline at 106JACKfm Oxfordshire scooped Gold for Presenter of the Year (under 2m TSA). Radio Borders picked up Gold for Station of the Year (under 500,000 TSA) and Metro Radio received Gold Station of the Year (500,000 – 2m TSA).

Trev and Caroline are still there. I'm unaware of any changes to Border/Metro since.

Breakfast Show of the Year Gold (under 2m TSA) went to Hallam FM for Big John @ Breakfast; and Gold for Breakfast Show of the Year (over 2m TSA) went to Sam & Amy at Gem 106.

All still there.

Oh, so actually, we know from history that not a single presenter lost their gigs and/or jobs very soon after they win the Arqiva awards. Which seems to be rather the reverse of what you were saying, Art, old boy.

"Oh, so actually, we know from history that not a single presenter lost their gigs and/or jobs very soon after they win the Arqiva awards. Which seems to be rather the reverse of what you were saying, Art, old boy."

I stick by what I say, James. Whilst last year's awards seem not to have had a detrimental effect on people's glorious and supposedly well deserved careers, I can think of times where it has happened. Danny Baker, anyone?

As for Station-of-the-year awards, yeah. Some radio stations I know that have been awarded that soon became mere network satellites, with local adverts and jingles dropped in for most of the time and almost all local programming was ditched.

JC... is it possible just to ban Ian and Art? It might encourage some mature debate. The absolute bile that I have to read from both of them is reminiscent of the worst excesses of the pre-Real Names era.

Hmm. Unfortunately that's true. Martin Phillip of this parish has made a good point on a forum I myself have been banned from for about a decade now... even Simon Hirst (as was at the time) offered feedback on THAT aircheck and he poo pooed it. I'd pay decent money for Stephanie to crit a telescoped aircheck of mine.

James Martin (whose radio career was cut short due to strong postings on radio forums) said:-

"JC... is it possible just to ban ...... Art? It might encourage some mature debate. The absolute bile that I have to read from (him) is reminiscent of the worst excesses of the pre-Real Names era."

But James Cridland (the website and forum owner said on another thread)

"For the record, I find Art's comments - while a wee bit repetitive - are pretty sensible much of the time."

James Martin, if by "slagging off" one station that has the same brand name as one you like, you mean a station that I have been critical of for some of its programming decisions, whilst coincidentally it has been shedding listeners at a very quick rate, then I don't understand how that is not contributing to "mature" debate, which we know you like, especially when you pointed out to all readers in your wisdom that I got told off by the forum owner for keeping a picture of a certain pedophile radio presenter on my postings, even though the forum owner came back and later said that no such thing happened.

There's one thing disliking a station, there's another talking about it repetitively, and there's yet another complaining about something you didn't hear go out. You do not need to explain yourself as you already have, on several occasions. In my opinion, it is still the work of a bitter man who cannot accept that Real Radio has gone away.

Oh and look, another pop at my past. Like Richard Park is going to employ you either, Artie?

See James, you ask for "mature debate" - and then you make a schoolboy comment like that. So, since you seem to have yet another misperception about me, allow me to set the record straight, with an Artie-fact or two about me.

In almost all of the radio projects that I have even been involved with, I came to be a part of them because either the station owners or people within them asked me to be involved, at times when I was otherwise going about my mundane life. I never went out of my way to ask them to be involved - they came to me.

Only one radio station got a pleading letter from me to be a part of them (as a volunteer during its set-up phase). That station was Beat 106 - but nothing came about of that, not that it mattered because I was still too ensconced in my dealings with an RSL group-cum-licence applicant.

As is typical of such things, if you get recognised for contributing to the success of a project, other people want you to be a part of theirs - and so I ended up unwittingly helping to set-up or even relaunching 15 radio stations in various forms over the past two decades.

However, I have NEVER applied for a job in radio, I have NEVER sent a demo - but I have trained other wannabe presenters (some of whom didn't even know hot use a desk) who very quickly ended up with very solid (and unbroken) radio careers to this very day.

My reasons for not doing so is really quite simple. Wages and contracts in radio are usually quite poor. I have a very secure daytime job that is very well paid, with a pension and other perks, which I have been in (continuously) for 27 years, since the day I left school.

I live in a conservation area and in a home that was renovated after it closed as a hospital. I share a garden space with a small number of other neighbours. The garden space is the size of two football pitches (plus a large private car park)- and it was an ideal location for my own wedding when I finally got married to a Scots-born Chinese lass that I had been going out with for 16 years, even though the large marquee looked a bit dwarfed in such big grounds.

I have no debts. I've just spent money on Scottish-made furniture that is being made to my own specifications, for around the same amount of money as a 20-a-day smoker spends on cigarettes in a year. I even had two Asian holidays last year. So, all of those things as shown above, when put together, makes any notion of wanting a radio career seem quite ridiculous and insignificant.