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ENTP/INTPs, come here. Now.

How do you feel about ENFPs? Simple question, I know, but I think it deserves some fairly detailed answers, especially if you have experience with an ENFP. Tell me how interaction went at first, and how it was after a while, the things you liked and what you did like, etc.

In general I like their exuberance and sense of humor, and silliness, but sometimes it can get a little stalky. For example, there was this one girl that I was talking to on a dating site (we'd traded real name info) that google stalked me and told me all the things she found out about me-- before we'd even been on a date! I realized she was just being careful, but was very playful with all the things she found out.

Absolutely LOVE ENFP's. The shared Ne makes for a great connection. Here's my ENFP story. Became friends with one - instant connection. And intense. I could talk so openly with her and without even realizing it, we were spending lots of time together. She developed feelings for me, but her Fi kept her from revealing it outright to me. She sent very mild signals - signals that most men probably would respond to - but I can be pretty aloof (INTP) and not pick up subtle hints. So, things continued to "grow" and I just thought "really good friends". Outsiders began to see that she had feelings, and I would tell them that we were just really good friends. They didn't believe me. We just had really great fun together and nothing was going on.

Well, it reached a point where she finally felt the need to make it known that she had feelings - probably because I wasn't responding to the subtleties. So, she began to - as someone else already stated - become very needy. "I cooked a meal, do you want to come over and eat?" When I would say no, it was like I had made my "girlfriend" mad. I felt guilty. She would kind of pout or somehow seem hurt or like I wasn't giving her enough of my time (remeber we weren't together at this point). She got needy and INTP's, generally speaking, do not like that. We like independence in others. Be your own person. Don't "need" me in order to be happy. Be happy on your own and then come spend time with me and it will be fun. When your happiness is reliant upon an INTP being with you whenever you feel lonely, it's going to be tough because we're off in our own heads a lot of the time and that neediness is pulling us out of our heads. We're not good hosts because we don't want to have to entertain people. ENTP's might be better at entertaining, but INTP's are introverts and after we have a great conversation with you, we revert back to being independent.

Not saying we can't make great, dedicated partners, but we are not won over by someone needing our company and we are not won over by people who "try to get our attention" or try to be the center of our attention - I think, if anything, we find that kind of behavior extremely annoying.

ENFP's are great fun. Just give the INTP space - lots of it. Really, really learn to respect that space. Let the INTP come to you, rather than trying to "convince him to spend time with you". Give us options. "Hey, you should come over one of these weekends and I'll make some good grub. Maybe we can watch a movie too. Let me know sometime if you're interested."

Instead of "OMG. Look at me in hyper mode. Don't you want to come and spend time with me right now?" Maybe we do, but very often we don't. My ENFP never came to terms with that.