This is a fictional story containing many things from Twilight Heroes, like certain heroes' names, as well as villains'... and... etc... xDI don't own Twilight Heroes, Ryme does, please don't sue me or any of my collaborators.I don't own the airship picture, either. Please don't sue me!This story is loosely based upon an ongoing roleplay in the TH chat.This story is also a parody, so OOC characters are supposed to be that way.Some characters approved the use of ther actual username (Hero name), and some haven't, 'cause I didn't ask them XD

Twilight Heroes: Amazing Tales

Previously on THAT:Chapter 1The seemingly human Carygon Nijax arrived in the city of Twilight.
Three locals interrogated him about his crashed spaceship.
He managed to convince them that it's a water tower.
They finally left him alone, but he seems to have made his first enemies in the process...
Except for that Cheating Shade guy, he seemed pretty cool.

Chapter 2: Paperwork

Digging through the ruins of his crashed spaceship, Carygon Nijax throws away long pieces of melted and twisted metal...Carygon Nijax growls.Carygon Nijax Crap, I'm not going to get anything useful from here... maybe if I check around the site...
Carygon Nijax jumps in joy.Carygon Nijax: Yay! A trash bin; a land of treasure!
Carygon Nijax leaves the spaceship and heads towards the trash bin.

Suddenly, a female figure jumps from out of nowhere!Carygon Nijax screams.Carygon Nijax What's wrong with you people, coming out of nowhere!
Female Figure 2: Don't you dare touch that trash bin!
Carygon Nijax: Wha? Who are you, some kind of trash bin... lover, geek?
Female Figure 2: I'm Raccoon Girl, the greatest superhero in this city!
Carygon Nijax: So why are you obsessed with trash bins?
Raccoon Girl: They are the source of my power!
Carygon Nijax: Huh?
Carygon Nijax looks oddly at Raccoon Girl.Carygon Nijax: I'm not going to be stopped by you! Move away!
Carygon Nijax grabs a nearby lead pipe and then jumps onto the trash bin.Raccoon Girl leaps after Carygon Nijax.Raccoon Girl: I eat what Raccoons eat to get their powers!
Raccoon Girl tears off a piece of an old 'Twilight Herald' and eats it.Carygon Nijax: But I thought Raccoons ate the food that people throw away... not the other garbage...
Carygon Nijax grins.Raccoon Girl frowns.Raccoon Girl tries to kick Carygon Nijax.Carygon Nijax blocks the kick, and whacks Raccoon Girl on the head with his pipe.Carygon Nijax runs away to avoid further confrontation with the crazed girl.

Lonely and lacking a map, Carygon Nijax walks through the suburb in which he's crashed, looking for shelter.Then a glowing neon sign lights his path...Carygon Nijax: What does it say? He, he, he... crap, I should've listened to those Klingon lessons at the High School!
Carygon Nijax frowns.Carygon Nijax: Wait, that's not Klingon, that's English! But what does it say?
Carygon Nijax: Heroes Guild: 24/7 Candy Store!
Carygon Nijax props his lead pipe up against the wall, next to the front door.Carygon Nijax opens the door and enters the building.

A twenty-something man is yelling at an old woman who's sitting behind a long desk.Angry Man: Just tell me why!
Old Woman: Because it is too large and has too many gadgets, and that's besides the fact that it has more than seven accidents per week.
Angry Man: What?! Do you expect to see the Great Crowid flying a simple jetpack? Or driving some boring Lexura? No way, ma'am!
Old Woman: Then get some private insurance, if that's even possible. We simply can't afford to insure you on any Heroes' Guild plan.
Old Woman points at the man, then jabs at the door.Crowid walks away frustrated, and bumps into Carygon Nijax on his way out.Carygon Nijax makes a rude gesture before walking towards the desk.Carygon Nijax: Hello-
Old Woman: The candy store is closed.
Carygon Nijax: Huh? Isn't it 24/7?
Old Woman: Yes, but I've been here more than 170 hours without a break.
Carygon Nijax: Wow... Well, anyways, I'm new in the city and I-
Old Woman: So you're a new hero.
Carygon Nijax: No, I'm just a vis-
Old Woman: Every single day some new hero comes in here thinking he will get to save the world...
Old Woman hands Carygon Nijax a three page application.Old Woman: Please fill this out with your info, in triplicate.
Carygon Nijax looks through the application. All three pages are identical, each reading:

Carygon Nijax fills out most of the application, but stares blankly at the Hideout field.Carygon Nijax: Hm... what do I say when I don't know where I am?
Old Woman: Where do you live?
Carygon Nijax: See that thing that's peeping out from between the buildings?
Old Woman: Yeah... what is it? Is it a spaceship?
Carygon Nijax: Erh, no! It's a water tower!
Old Woman: Those architects can make things look really odd...
Carygon Nijax fills out the Hideout fields, and gives the finished application to the old woman.Old Woman: So, no weaknesses?
Carygon Nijax: Huh?
Old Woman: You kids are all the same... You think you are all mighty, until you break a leg or something and then come crying like babies...
Old Woman slowly bends down, and opens a box behind her desk.Old Woman grabs a folded sheet of paper, and slowly rises.Old Woman places the object on the counter.Old Woman: Here, this is the Heroes' Map to Twilight city, complete with the list of objects we can provide insurance for...
Old Woman repeats the ritual, this time emerging with a small sticker.Old Woman: And here... this is a Hero's parking sticker.
Old Woman: With this on your vehicle, you can park anywhere without getting a ticket...
Old Woman: It's the best part of being a hero.
Carygon Nijax realizes that the old woman's finally done, and quickly takes the map and sticker.Carygon Nijax: Thanks, but... since I don't have a ride, I won't really need the sticker...
Old Woman: Keep it... you never know when you will get a skateboard or a fish's bike...
Carygon Nijax nods, turns, and giggles all the way to the door.

Outside, Crowid, the man from the convenience store, is trying to get onto a hanging rope ladder.Crowid: Crap... even though I'm a Gadgeteer, I'm still stupid enough to make the rope too short...
Carygon Nijax approaches slowly.Carygon Nijax: Is everything ok?
Crowid: Step aside kid, I'm trying to get onto this ladder... if I can't do it, then I don't think a newbie hero like you can!
Carygon Nijax takes a few steps back, retrieves the lead pipe from where he left it, and then uses it to reach the rope ladder, somehow stilling the formerly swinging object.Carygon Nijax: Try it now, Mister...
Crowid: Admiral Crowid, at your service! I knew you weren't just some normal hero! You have something in your eyes, y'know! I never make mistakes about this!
Carygon Nijax nods his head and pretends to listen.

After an hour or two...Crowid: ...and that's why you would make a great Cadet on the Crowidae's crew!
Carygon Nijax: The what?
Crowid: The Crowidae! My Airship!
Carygon Nijax looks confused.Crowid: Look up!
Crowid points to the sky.Carygon Nijax looks up, hoping that Crowid isn't trying to con him.Carygon Nijax gasps, and stares awestruck at the enormous airship.Crowid: So, what d'you say?
Carygon Nijax: Uhmm, I'm not sure... I have some things to take care of...
Crowid: Oh, c'mon!
Carygon Nijax: Again, not sure... I have other things to take care of...
Crowid: C'mon!
Carygon Nijax: Yet again, not sure... I have some other things to do...
Crowid: Come on!
Carygon Nijax: I said no!
Crowid: You did? You should express your thoughts more clearly!
Carygon Nijax scowls.Crowid: Just, c'mon, I'll show you the city!
Crowid climbs the rope ladder.Carygon Nijax shrugs, and follows...