Sunday, June 27, 2010

In this journey, there will be so many people who will walk into our life. Some will inspire us to walk on, move up and climb our way to higher ground, but some too will cling tight- to ruin us, to make us suffer, to give us pain and make us cry. But keep in mind that we permitted them to walk beside us- as they permitted us to walk beside them too. Of course some will walk out of you when you are at the road of nothingness, lost in the middle of no where. But there will always be someone who will stay, the person who will be the ‘road that leads you home’- thus the task is to know who amongst the thousand footprints on the desert sand will weather the scorching heat, the villainous wind, the cruel cold of the winter morning, with you. There is always someone- when someone leaves, someone will arrive; when someone makes you cry, for sure one day someone will make you laugh and wipe the tears in your eyes; when all people forget who you are, there will always be someone who will always remember how you loved him and how you changed his life.

It’s never the destination that matters; it is the journey and the people beside you that make life a wonderful adventure.

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You’ll always be,The reason why I’m so In loveBeyond the sands, I know you’re all I have

You’ll always be the ROAD THAT LEADS ME HOMEThe one who gave me hope to carry onIn these twisted pathsI know I’m not aloneEven though BENEATH THE SANDS ARE GOLDAnd my dreams started to unfoldWhat matters mostI know you’ll lead me home

Sunday, June 20, 2010

I was there in that shed, waiting for youDo i need cupid for a miracle to come true?Strangers of the night say it wont beginStars in the sky, there they'll remain

Am I blinded by the darkness within me,or Am I just numb coz of this sunless regime?Lovers here say they envy me,But its me who envies them, coz youre not here

Shadeless nightin ur eyes i found a blinding light,it overcomes the dark thats meyou just cant see me,but i see you shining in the darkSo let the warmth of the air dry my tearsDestroy all my darkest fearsLet it destroy the fortress' everlasting bondTonight might be at last, waiting's end

Give you all my darkness to revealWhat extinguishes the fire, let the spirit healLovely in this shade, youve given me your shineBurning eternally, not for sale, just for me

Used to be alone here, now your grip's so realUsed to be afraid of your light, now only warmth i feelUsed to be so weak inside, now youre my shieldUsed to bes are gone, its time for us to live

Shadeless nightin ur eyes i found a blinding light,it overcomes the dark thats meyou just cant see me,but i see you shining in this darkSo let the warmth of the air dry my tearsDestroy all my darkest fearsLet it destroy the fortress' everlasting bondTonight might be at last, waiting's end

i created a new blog that will house my compositions/poems. So in just a click it would all be there. in the span of five years ive created a number of songs/poems,some of which already graced this blog, the others will be posted soon, if i feel theyre already worth posting or should i say if the composition fits the feeling of a certain moment of my life, a repetition of the forgotten emotions... =D

Anyhow But Before You Go was written three years back, actually ive forgotten the story of this song, but let me see… ive always been the one left behind, so i guess from there the song was made.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

It was already past 10 in the morning and I just woke up and went to the CR to pee when Nelo calmly spoken the silent words, just outside my room yesterday morning. The tone of his voice seems so melancholy and I knew that there was a deluge of emotions trapped inside him.

“Bakit, anong nangyari? pasok ka muna sa kwarto.”

From the redness of his eyes I assumed that tears consumed him last night. His eyebags clearly states that sleep wasn’t his companion too. All I knew in that moment was that he bought a new phone, the same model as mine, yesterday- from there I was lost.

“Ang nanay ko, pumanaw na…”

Isnt it so sad that the first call that you will receive in your new phone would be a news that would break your heart...?

There was a long silence after he professed the source of his sadness. I couldn’t even look straight in his eyes and say the correct words that a friend should tell a friend to overcome such loneliness.

“Awww. Condolence… Im so sorry to hear that Nelo, tell me what I can do to make you feel better…”

“Ok lang ako, baka umuwi ako bukas na bukas din…”

For all the nonsense things that I worry about, my worries weren’t even a fraction of what he was into. I tried hard to make him smile, cause that’s what a friend should do I suppose, ive helped him load some songs in his phone, just to cheer him up… offered him coffee and chocolate, and most of all be there for him, beside him in this time of loneliness…

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In that sober morning conversation with Nelo, I cant help but think about my Inay and Tatay too. To lose someone you love so much is so hard to accept. I remember my Inay’s messages the previous days begging me to reply on her text messages. The problem is, I don’t feel like texting anyone during the last few days only to find out that my local SIM card’s outgoing services already expired, and the moment I wanted to really text my Inay, I cant. So I braced and battled the intensive heat of the desert and rushed to the nearest store to buy a card, to enable me to send my love to them, my family. It was a heavenly feeling after I reconnected with them again, the lump in my throat was gone… all I need to do is go home and be with them and make them feel how much we love them, their sons.

I really wanted to help Nelo, for I feel for him, mothers have a soft spot in my heart. He will go home tonight to his family in Leyte and my prayers are with him.

Monday, June 14, 2010

It’s been a while since I’ve posted a decent entry on this blog. I haven’t found the right inspiration yet, thus the lack of tales for this blog... If not for some reposts or the youtube vids, this blog must have been comatose right now, so yeah thanks to the previous me and the songs that helped me go on with this life.

Anyhow this is an attempt to post something worthwhile, while my new colleague is busy with his work outside, teehee...

Or I think I should blog about him? Yeah correct ill blog about him since he is someone new in my life.

Lets call him Marlou (after a basketball star), since he is so tall oftentimes I find myself looking up just to see his facial reactions while training him on some laboratory procedures. So yeah he is tall, brown skinned, slim, semi-kalbo hair and older than me. He is already married and has two kids, both girls 1 and 3 years young. Based on my first impression hes a good person- a little laidback, he doesn’t speak that much, but when speaks with gravity and easily trained and motivated, well that’s the first thing I like about him. The next thing that makes me smile when he is near, is his scent, its just that i am so used to the smell of Indians and Arabs here and he is a very much welcome addition to the scent i usually smell everyday, such pleasant, sweet and manly smell... not in a sexual context but its really a plus pogi points whenever a man sitting next to you smells good.

I for one doesn’t smell that good, i don’t have a regular perfume. My deodorant is more than enough for me. Well, all my life i really dont care having just a plain smell, but i should think yet again since im going home this December, maybe i could use a little scent... since Marlou's scent affects me and im quite starting to be attracted to guys having such a nice smell. Maybe next time when i sit down at the foodcourt the guy sitting next to me might catch or smell my pleasant, sweet smell and i could also light a little smile in his eyes, probably catching his heart too.

Anyhow this morning ive realized that my English skill is deteriorating, and the culprit is my stay here. For five years i have been talking to people who have less than average English skills thus making me prone to communicate with them using below average English sentences also, which is really very bad for my future career. Im afraid that in my next job interview i would stutter, use wrong grammar or worse cant even answer the interviewer with a sentence with a sense. Oh well, its me to blame too, i should’ve read more books, wrote lots of posts in English, I shoudlve talked to people using good English. But i will never regret coming here, i have helped people, especially my family and with that the five years here is a success! So if you find some errors in this post or any posts here, im really sorry, im working on my grammar. hehe, i remember getting a perfect 1.0 in my classcard in English during second year college, my pretty instructor would kill me now. Kidding.

Hey by the way im enjoying two songs right now. Sukob na performed by Aiza Seguerra makes me nostalgic. It makes me wanna fall in love again but the thing is i dont know who would be the worthy one for this love or am I worthy to feel this thing again, I don’t really know., i am not in such a hurry, its just that it makes me sad to think that i have always been on the losing end when it comes to Love. The song gives me hope… as Aiza's hearfelt rendition says

"kay sarap isipin na may kasama sa buhay pag bumaha...sukob na"

which makes the second song very applicable: Michael Buble's Havent Met you Yet. this one has that positive vibe, and as the song goes

"I might have to wait, I’ll never give upI guess it's half timin and the other half's luckWherever you are, whenever it's rightYou'll come outta nowhere and into my life"

See.

Anyhow ill be home in six months time, im quite excited, a little afraid, yes, but i think im quite ready for almost anything now. how many storms have i been into, and i made it! Im still here, smiling. =)

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

I wrote this song for Elmo, my first love. He was the one who frequently say I Love You... i dont know if he says it because its true or he just says it because he cares. Magkaiba kasi yung dalawang yun. Im trying to remember the melody, hindi ko syado maalala. Pero this is a good song, ive so many memories with this one. Good ones. Kasi the later compositions ko ay puno ng heartbreak, bitterness and hope that someone love me too, hehe. Naisip ko gumawa ng separate blog for my compositions, masyado lang busy eh.

(two)For me it’s the start of something newSomething really specialSomething that will lastEven restrictions are vast.I will give my allAnd never let goFrom the notes of this songAnd words that are true

(three)You have given me unexplained feelingsEndless EcstasySleepless nights and restless thoughtsThat you alone have broughtI hope you appreciate the acts of my loveFeel me, believe me,Tell well never part