If you are planning to leave your abuser, do not let him know this and do not talk about it with anyone who will reveal this information to him. You will need to proceed very cautiously and may need to do things in steps so he does not notice that you are preparing to leave. This is why a special safety plan for leaving is necessary.

Where can I find help?

To find help near you, suggestions and resources, please go to the website for the National Domestic Violence Hotline. If you click on the sentences in red, you will learn much more. (NOTE: In Canada, see this website for hotline information instead.)

You can also call the National Hotline 24/7 to talk to an advocate at 1-800-799-SAFE. The people who answer the hotline are well trained, will support you, provide information, and help you find the nearest domestic violence program. A domestic violence agency is the best place to get confidential, individualized counseling and/or group support, as well as various types of legal assistance, shelter and more – all free. A support group with other survivors helped me tremendously, and I highly recommend that you join one as soon as possible (If it is safe to do so. Do not tell your abuser that you are going there.)

What if I can’t find help near me?

If for some reason you cannot get help from your local domestic violence program, call your state coalition against domestic violence and explain your need. The staff there can refer you to another resource. Click here to find your state coalition. https://ncadv.org/state-coalitions.