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Introverted girls: are they a waste of my time?

2013-08-12, 02:23 PM

Well I'm an extrovert, so obviously we're pretty different in that regard. I love socializing and meeting new people, whereas the introverted girl's I'm talking about prefer to spend time alone. They even often ignore me if I try to talk to them, which can be pretty annoying even though I know they do it to almost everyone.

Anyway, are they a waste of my time or not? There have been one or two that wanted to date me, but at the same time I'm just not sure if an extrovert can be in a good relationship with an introvert.

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Well I'm an extrovert, so obviously we're pretty different in that regard. I love socializing and meeting new people, whereas the introverted girl's I'm talking about prefer to spend time alone. They even often ignore me if I try to talk to them, which can be pretty annoying even though I know they do it to almost everyone.

Anyway, are they a waste of my time or not? There have been one or two that wanted to date me, but at the same time I'm just not sure if an extrovert can be in a good relationship with an introvert.

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If you cannot appreciate what an intovert has to offer (which you obviously can't), then it's not so much that they are a waste of your time, but you are a waste of their time.

Now, as an introvert, I can say that there are certain perks for me dating an extrovert. Primarily, in social situations, that person can basically talk on my behalf for the two of us. I can sit there peacefully and just be myself and no one cares if the girlfriend is talking a lot. So yes, it can work.

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If you cannot appreciate what an introvert has to offer (which you obviously can't), then it's not so much that they are a waste of your time, but you are a waste of their time.

Now, as an introvert, I can say that there are certain perks for me dating an extrovert. Primarily, in social situations, that person can basically talk on my behalf for the two of us. I can sit there peacefully and just be myself and no one cares if the girlfriend is talking a lot. So yes, it can work.

But based on how you say it's annoying, it probably won't with you.

So what do introverts have to offer? Not trying to offend you, but would an introverted girl I'm dating actually give me the attention that I want? That's the kind of stuff I'm wondering about.

Also it's not so much introverts themselves that annoy me, it's just certain things they do that can be annoying. For example, ignoring me if they simply aren't in the mood to talk. Or prioritizing reading a book over spending time with me.

I haven't actually tried dating an introverted girl yet, so I don't know how different it would be from being friends with one.

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So what do introverts have to offer? Not trying to offend you, but would an introverted girl I'm dating actually give me the attention that I want? That's the kind of thing I'm wondering.

What kind of attention do you want? I don't have a problem spending time with my SO, provided he likes to spend some of that time just the two of us and not out in noisy, people filled places all the time.

Also it's not so much introverts themselves that annoy me, it's just certain things they do that can be annoying. For example, ignoring me if they simply aren't in the mood to talk. Or prioritizing reading a book over spending time with me.

Again, ignoring you is being rude, not being an introvert. Now, the prioritizing the book over you could be a valid complaint, but it really depends on how much time you need to spend with an SO versus how much alone time. Can I read a book as long as I have spent 3 nights with you this week? Or do you expect me to spend all 7 nights with you every week?

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What kind of attention do you want? I don't have a problem spending time with my SO, provided he likes to spend some of that time just the two of us and not out in noisy, people filled places all the time.

I actually enjoy spending time alone with a girlfriend. I do of course want to hang out with friends too, but I do actually want alone time with the girl I'm dating.

Again, ignoring you is being rude, not being an introvert. Now, the prioritizing the book over you could be a valid complaint, but it really depends on how much time you need to spend with an SO versus how much alone time. Can I read a book as long as I have spent 3 nights with you this week? Or do you expect me to spend all 7 nights with you every week?

Perhaps you're right about that. Maybe I need to stop forgiving their rude behavior simply because they're introverts and stop talking to them altogether. Only reason I haven't cut contact with them already is because I had figured it was just an introvert thing.

Anyway, I'd be fine with her reading a book once in a while as long as she doesn't seem to value time with her book over time with me. I don't need her attention all the time and in fact, girl's that need my attention 24/7 kind of annoy me. I'll want to spend some time doing my own thing as well, even if my own thing sometimes means spending time with other people.

But I would need some attention from her once in a while. I'll wonder why we're even dating if she never spends time with me.

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So what do introverts have to offer? Not trying to offend you, but would an introverted girl I'm dating actually give me the attention that I want? That's the kind of stuff I'm wondering about.

Also it's not so much introverts themselves that annoy me, it's just certain things they do that can be annoying. For example, ignoring me if they simply aren't in the mood to talk. Or prioritizing reading a book over spending time with me.

I haven't actually tried dating an introverted girl yet, so I don't know how different it would be from being friends with one.

if u look at relatonships as to what the other person has to offer u than doesnt sound like u are fit to date anyone. Also u dont understand how introverts work so therefore ur best to not date one. Its like yelling at someone with ADD why dont they focus and sit down. Sound like an ignorant ass

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What is they say? Opposites attract? thats true sometimes. The problem might come up if you want to go out and party and she wants to stay home, then you have to workout a compromise or do a lot of stuff alone/separate.

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Anyway, I'd be fine with her reading a book once in a while as long as she doesn't seem to value time with her book over time with me. I don't need her attention all the time and in fact, girl's that need my attention 24/7 kind of annoy me. I'll want to spend some time doing my own thing as well, even if my own thing sometimes means spending time with other people.

But I would need some attention from her once in a while. I'll wonder why we're even dating if she never spends time with me.

If you also need some time to do your own thing, then I don't understand what the big deal is. Sometimes you spend it with the SO, sometimes you do your own thing. Unless you can quantify what you really mean by not letting them have alone time, I think you are making assumptions about how introverts actually behave that are probably false.

Ditch the rude friends. And understand it isn't that we prioritize reading a book over you. It's that we prioritize taking time for ourselves to recharge our batteries over you. Maybe read up on how introverts actually work so that you understand a little about it.

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So what do introverts have to offer? Not trying to offend you, but would an introverted girl I'm dating actually give me the attention that I want? That's the kind of stuff I'm wondering about.

No offense taken! And for the record I don't think you sound needy, I think you sound like you have a healthy understanding of your personal needs.

Now, if these girls just ignore everyone, they have problems.

Intoverts offer several things: They think better independently, tend to have higher IQs on average (many exceptions of course), are less risky, less likely to cheat, and exhibit loyalty to few rather than loose friendship to many. When I have dated introverted women, I found they were there for me MUCH more than the extroverts were. The extroverts had such big social lives that I couldn't keep up, and they didn't have as much time for me as I would have liked. The introverts though liked having time with me and only me, which is how I prefer it.

Basically, from reading this and other posts here, I don't think you should go for these women. They sound like bitches. But don't be put off by introverts simply because these two are that way.