This Was Going to Be an Awesome Column about the Debate (But the Altitude Kicked My Butt)

Last week I sent Mitt a note encouraging him not to morph into a McCain-like wuss during the debate. I think he got my email because he Buford Pussered Obama. It was embarrassing. The president looked defeated–head down, busted.

The greatest joy I had the night of the debate didn’t come from watching the erudite Mormon verbally skin the evasive Marxist for 90 minutes. No, it came after the debate as I watched the talking heads over on MSLSD melt down like the bad witch on the Wizard of Oz.

Good Lord, man. Maddow, Matthews, Sharpton and Schultz cried like little girls. Did you dudes actually believe that Obama and your fairy tales could stand up under credible and heavy scrutiny? You did? Well, then … you’re more deluded than I thought.

The only–and I mean only–way you, your ilk and the president can foist your fables and philosophy on your fools is for them to be parlayed in an uncontested biosphere of bullcrap. However, get your leader in front of the truth and he’ll melt like Liza Minnelli during an Oprah interview. I must admit, though, that your caterwauling was good TV. Matter of fact I think Bravo should start a new reality show called Desperate Talk Show Blowhards of MSNBC. You guys could replace Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. It’s just a thought.

Y’know, I hate to sound like a Monday morning QB, but I knew Obama was in deep weeds when seven minutes into it Romney got, as one of my friends said, that sympathetic grin he used to get whenever Rick Perry spoke. Hot yellow Kool-Aid!

What you witnessed, MSNBC, was a successful Bain Capital exec talking to a sorry Staples store manager who has driven his store into the dirt. Nothing more … nothing less.

Another rather amusing post-debate kabuki show the Left put on was the ridiculous excuses for Obama’s feckless performance during that 90-minute flogging by Romney.

One of my favorites was Al Gore’s “the high altitude got to him”… Obama wasn’t acclimated and thus he was a wee bit discombobulated. First off, Obama’s used to being high; he spent his entire college years Rocky Mountain high. Please. Secondly, didn’t he give his yippee-ki-yay DNC speech back in ‘08 in Denver? I think he did. Google it and get back to me, Al.

Second on my list of favorite excuses regarding Obama’s clock getting cleaned came from Bob Woodward who surmised that Obama was abysmal that night because he received some heavy bad news prior to the debate that had him distracted and upset. This could be a legit reason. Maybe something in the Middle East had gone awry? Nah, that couldn’t be it because after the Benghazi massacre he was able to party with Jay-Z and Beyoncé and fly to Vegas with no problemo whatsoever.

If he was rattled by some disturbing intel before the debate, it was probably the realization that, as of that night, he’s actually been married to Michelle for 20 years. That revelation would fluster even the toughest of men.

Finally, as much as I was delighted in Romney running circles around Obama that night, the one thing that put me off the most was that I wanted Obama to debate using that black preacher voice he used in that: infamous race-baiting/class warfare video from 2007, and yet … he didn’t do it.