I couldn't resist with the title. I'm sure ENOPHILE has used that one before, but I stood next to him at an Eye-Talian tasting last night, so it must have rubbed off.

I went to this event in the hopes I would learn something new about Italian wines -- something good. Upon entry, the room was noisier and more crowded than it had ever been. After the first half hour, everything got more intense, with an after...oops. On to the wines.

Here they are, all six in my order of ranking. You must understand that ENO's notes and opinions will be, uhhhh different:

#1 1997 Barbera d'Alba, Silvio Grasso
Eno called this one. He said I'd like it and he was right. Black cherry nose, dark color, jammy and lipsmacking. Nicely balanced. Yummmm, and all for $13.75 each by the case. I'd buy this one if they'd put Oregon or California (even France) on the label.

#5 (tie) 1993 Brunello di Montalcino, Castelli Martinozzi
#5 (tie) 1995 Barbaresco, Albino Rocca "Vigneto Brich Ranchi"
#5 (tie) 1994 Barolo, Ciabot Berton "Roggeri" (I shoulda liked this one)
#5 (tie) 1993 Brunello di Montalcino, Poggio Antico
These were all the same wine, and the same as 97.638% of all the Italian wines I've ever had. High acid, low fruit, high tannin, dried-out drech at inflated prices. Why don't the Italians just soak an old shoe and some trail mix in water that's been acidulated, then bottle it --especially when they could charge between $32 and $54 (the Poggio Antico) for the stuff? That would be better than restaurant margins.

After this wonderful experience, we pushingly prevailed upon the pooped proprietor to pour a pusillanimous portion of the '95 Marietta Angeli Cuvee for each of us. The report will be in the zinfandel folder, but ENOPHILE liked it for those who can't stand the suspense.