Your Blogging Staff

Contributing to this blog:
- "Dave" is Dave Barry, who is a humor columnist and presidential contender.
- "judi" is Judi Smith, who is Dave's Research Department, as well as being interested in men.
- "Walter" is Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus.

I don't care what they say, nobody drinks like the Americans. I confirmed this while vacationing in Spain with some fellow soldiers. After taking our order (about thirty drinks for six people) the barman asked if there were about twenty members of our group using the bathroom. We said "No, that's just for us" and he told us he had never in his life seen a group drink that much. We didn't understand his surprise - we were just getting warmed up.

When I was in Germany, the comment from the bartender was people from the US just drink (and pass out) faster. I dont know about the Brits, but my German friends have mastered the art of keeping a good buzz on for days at a time without getting wasted. The US style seems to be Drunk,pass out, hungover, drunk, pass out, hungover. I much prefer buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

I just hope we're all making notes. The fact that we apparently have a sure-fire way to bring Germany to its knees may well come in handy some day (and between the US and Britain - not to mention Canada - we are apparently up to the task!).

I remember one outstanding afternoon when my sister and I were driving home from school in my dad's old Buick. We had a bunch of friends in the car who were along for the joy ride. I speeded up when we came to a large hump in the concrete in order to give everyone a big thrill. All of a sudden we heard loud explosions coming from the back in the trunk. (MY father had a case of bottled beer in the trunk and they were exploding like crazy.)
Note: Last joy ride for the season.

Old Billy the blacksmith first time in his life
Has gone home cold sober to his darling wife,
He walks in the kitchen, she says you're early me dear,
But he breaks down and tells her the pub's got no beer

Yay! I got blogged, and on such an important subject. What's impressive to me is that our British cousins/ occasional enemies are able to keep this up for so many days in a row. The US team folded 'cause their fans didn't have the stamina, or the pelvic thrusts.