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There’s only one thing in life that is true for every human on the planet, and that is, we’re born to die.

Why I was chosen to tell you this had me baffled at the time, and if anyone would have told me that my soul’s mission was to deliver this universal truth to mankind, I would have laughed and waved them away. But here I am, detached from your world, about to embark on a journey that to most humans would seem utterly unfathomable. But, getting back to this truth . . . It’s something that you need to know. Understanding and accepting it won’t be easy, as it’ll go against everything you’ve been conditioned to believe. Even my students at Columbia had a difficult time understanding it, and it was pounded into their heads every day. Explaining to them that we’re born to die, and that death is what we aspire to, was like trying to explain calculus to an infant: it wasn’t happening. It’s not that they weren’t fascinated or interested in learning it; they just couldn’t grasp the concept. Of course, while teaching them, they continually hounded me to present proof, but I had no literal proof at the time, as no human does. But after studying the greatest scholars and spiritual teachers, and after traveling around the world to further my studies, I formulated a belief based upon my experiences, and that belief is: there is life after death.

And I was correct.

It was Thursday, May 3, 7:52 a.m. when they pulled the plug and declared me officially dead. But I was gone long before that. You see, when a person’s hooked-up to a life support system, it’s that system keeping their vitals alive. The spirit leaves the body before it shuts down. It knows its time is up. And that’s what happened with me. A blinding white light came into my view and when I focused on it, I was ripped out of my body. It was a moment of euphoric revelation and freedom, one that I’d like for you to envision.

I could actually feel myself rising out of the confines of my imprisonment; ripping away from my robe of flesh, separating from it, like a butterfly separating from its chrysalis. Gone were the shackles that made me a slave to my own life; those hurts and fears that kept me unfulfilled and oppressed. I was now free from their captivity—my body left behind; that lifeless, disease-filled corpse which would soon be buried and forgotten.

Now I ask you: could any human know the exuberance of this freedom? Could they understand how a butterfly emerges from a creature that can only crawl—how its metamorphic frame can lift gracefully into the air with just the flutter of its parchment wings? My soul now understands that to be a butterfly, it must first know its beginning; the genesis of its existence and the many stages it must experience in order to arrive at its full enlightenment.

As I crossed into the dimension known as the other side, I was able to see into the life I left behind—into those endless corridors that I once roamed, searching for that one door that would open; that one door that would lead me to happiness. While alive, I couldn’t find the door; I was blinded by my struggles. But from where I am now, the truth is so clear: life isn’t a punishment that has a pointless ending. Life is for learning. It’s about rising above the atrocities and emotional pains that are self-inflicted and creating our reality from within. And death? Death is part of the reason why we’re born. It’s the prize we get for enduring the trials of life. It’s what we aspire to on an unconscious level—something that no human can escape. Death is our reprieve. It allows us to look back on our mistakes so that we can grow. And, as we cross back to our natural state of spirit, we remember this. But in the physical world, all this knowledge is forgotten. It’s pushed down and buried under layers of living—deeply filtered by our subconscious and ego. We lose our perfectness when we’re born into the physical world—to the point where we grow into hateful, vengeful, greedy beings—known as man.

You see, man was created in God’s image so that man would enhance God’s own existence; so that man would expand space and perpetuate realities through his thoughts. But the image that man was created in wasn’t just the physical aspect of God; it was the mental aspect—the workings of God’s mind . . . His ability to create. Yes, God gave man the whole package, and included in the package was the freedom to make his own decisions. It’s called free will. And even though God knew every thought and action that man would ever have, He didn’t interfere with his decisions. He let man make his mistakes. He had to; it was a part of the plan. He called it lessons, and without them, the soul wouldn’t be able to evolve to its full potential.

But despite man being created in God’s image, he wasn’t made perfect; although, man believed that he was. Man believed that he could outthink God. He believed that he was it. He believed that all his ideas and dreams were born only to him. But I’ll let you in on a secret. Every aspect of man’s mind, from the most darkest and inconceivable thoughts to the most ingenious ideas, have already been a thought in the mind of God. Even man’s emotions were given to him for a reason. He didn’t just summons them into his gut; they’re a part of his navigational system—to guide him. When man gets off track with God, he feels sadness and a lack of purpose. Man was supposed to question these feelings so that God could guide him onto his path, but he didn’t. Instead, he disillusioned himself into believing that his sadness was caused from an outside source, such as lack of money or lack of love, but that was just his ego masking the truth. Man didn’t want to accept that there was something bigger and better than him. And although he knew it deep down, he chose not to deal with it by telling himself that if God were real then life would be perfect; and this gave him the reason to keep his ego alive. It made him powerful. It made him feel in control. But deep within man’s soul was a fact that he would never understand while in the physical world: he only existed because he was a part of the plan.

Yes, God deliberately made man. He gave him the ability to create his outside world through his thoughts. He gave him the power to communicate with Him by using a special part of his brain—the part that’s hidden behind his eyes, located between the two hemispheres. It’s what the prophets spoke of for thousands of years. It’s called the Pineal, and it’s the key that unlocks supernatural doors, enabling man to cross the threshold of the physical world to step into the beyond.

You see, man always had the ability to connect with God while living in the physical world, but he chose not to figure it out; because figuring it out would make him work too hard for something that he wasn’t sure of—for something that he couldn’t see or touch. It was knowledge that was innate, just waiting to be tapped into. God didn’t want it kept as a secret. He wanted man to reach for Him for all his answers, but man didn’t. He chose to look elsewhere, and God knew that this would happen. He knew that man would take the ring and run with it, believing that he had all the control.

Man indulged his ego to the point of self destruction. He allowed money, sex, and power to dictate his life. He blamed his decisions on his right to pursue happiness. He told himself that he had to take care of number one. His hypocritical reasoning used the idea of God when his life was good, and when his life was in chaos, he blamed God for deserting him. Man became cocky and shunned the one thing that was there for him all along. Not only didn’t man revere God, he no longer believed in Him.

What I’m about to tell you may fill you with uncertainty and apprehension. God isn’t some celestial ruler created by a bunch of religious scholars. And while all you people have been living a lie, living in your ego-filled worlds, an ethereal plan has been unfolding; a plan that will make the Book of Revelations look like a child’s tale.

Know this: Man was given two paths to choose from. He listened to his ego. Now they’re both going to pay.

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Will somebody please explain this to me. Why do people with money look down at the rest of us?

I got to thinking about this last night. I woke up about 3 a.m. with this very profound thought. I don’t know where it came from–perhaps I was dreaming and it woke me? Anyway, I woke up picturing a huge stage where several rich people were standing in a line. There wasn’t an audience, and there weren’t any props.
Then, one by one, each of them had their money taken away. Their jewelry vanished. Their homes and cars were gone. All the people in their lives, who kissed up to them because of their wealth, walked away. They were stripped of everything except of their clothes. Suddenly they were like all the rest of us, and they felt belittled and ashamed. Their heads hung as the harsh truth washed over them.

They were now faced with the understanding that their money was the only factor in giving them their value. Without their money, they weren’t important. They couldn’t buy favors. They couldn’t buy friendships. And even worse, they couldn’t buy their character.

Someone tell me, please. Do people with money actually believe that they’re above the rest? Or did they forget that their money is what buys them their power? I have to be honest. I have been around very wealthy people who had about as much class as a first-grader. Their homes and cars were messy and their intelligence and attitudes lacked finesse. The fact that they had money wasn’t a bad thing, but somewhere down the line they lost their humbleness and believed that they were above reproach. Well, I have two words to say on that . . . bull poopie!

There are millions of people who aren’t rich, who are brilliantly gifted in various areas of life, who shine way above some of these rich folks. Don’t let anyone fool you. A small percent of Americans are wealthy, but does that mean that they’re better then everyone else because of it?

I want everyone in this world to be wealthy. I believe that there is enough to go around. But really, people, if you get money, remember one thing. If the day ever comes where you’re standing on a stage, getting stripped down to the bare truth, don’t come running to those who you’ve treated poorly. Learn the value of life. Step away from the money and take a long, hard look around. We come in this world without it, and we leave without it. What does that make a rich person? It makes them just like the rest of us.

Take every human on this planet and line them up shoulder to shoulder. Strip them of everything. Do you know what you’d have? You’d have equality! That’s what you’d have.

Hey, I don’t wake up in the middle of the night for nothing. Anyway, that’s all I wanted to say.

I found out that God knows how to bring it on. Doesn’t he? He gives me whatever lessons I need the most, and he keeps bringing it until I finally get it. I’m a thick-headed girl—always have been. But once I grasp the concept of something that is being shown to me, I usually get it. However, there are times when I don’t get it because it’s the other idiosyncrasies that I possess that give me trouble. When I take all of my idiosyncrasies into consideration, I realize that it’s more than one tiny thing that I have to work on, concerning my personality. It’s a series of malfunctions in my perception, which I must take one by one, analyze, and then yank them out from my core beliefs. Do you know what I’m saying? I can’t blame my inner feelings on just one particular thing. It’s never just one thing, is it? It’s a cluster of things that lead up to the ‘thing’ that eats at us. And this is what people don’t understand. When people have issues, they think it’s the ‘issue’ giving them trouble when it’s really their core beliefs. All of our experiences have formulated our beliefs. And even though we experience events, it doesn’t make our beliefs accurate. Because once again, perception can be faulty due to upbringing. Yikes! I’m turning Freud-a-neeza

During the day, I feel isolated. In order to write, I have to stay by myself. I speak to my sister and the BF for a brief moment or two, but it doesn’t make me feel any less alone. I don’t have anyone to share my thoughts with. I only have my laptop who doesn’t know how to answer me back. Not too many people I know are into paranormal psychology and metaphysics. The sister doesn’t understand it, and the BF just stares at me like I have four heads. So I know the feeling of loneliness. You can be in a room full of people and still feel lonely. I know this first hand.

For many years, I believed that I would be alone. I believed it was my fate to not have anyone to love me. I didn’t connect with guys. I dated them, but it wasn’t real. Nothing lasted. A date or two was as far as it would go because either I didn’t like the guy, or the guy didn’t like me.
And I stayed alone for many years. I gave up dating. I couldn’t be bothered with the head games–so I just turned down dates and stayed by myself. I was tired of reaching out and nobody being there, and this included friendships, as well. If anyone knows what it feels like to believe that they are meant to be alone, it’s me. Even now, I believe that I’m meant to be alone. I don’t understand why I don’t have many friends. I have online friends, but nobody here to talk to face to face. I have two close friends who live out-of-state, but they’re out-of-state.

My parents were loners, and I want to break that mold. I don’t want to follow in their genetic isolation path. I want friends, but I refuse to be anything other than what I am to have them. I’m different, and I know this. I’ve always known that I’m different. People tend to back away from me, and yet, they tell me that I fascinate them. I don’t get it. Maybe it’s my face or my look, or the way I command myself that intimidates others? But this is me, and I like me. I like me because I know that I am loving and gentle–and others would know this too, if they would take the time to look past my exterior.

You are the same as me. You want to come home to someone who you can connect with on many levels. You want to experience love and lust, and laughter and goofiness, and you want to share intimate secrets and beliefs about life and God. Yes, I know exactly what you want, and it will happen, however it will happen, and with whomever it will happen with. Just keep the faith. A person such as yourself is a gift to the person who is waiting for you. But maybe you have closed yourself up, and you’re not letting love flow in, just as I’m not letting my fame flow in, due to the fear of it. Think about that. We say we know what we want, but when we think about it too closely and examine it, we close our minds because we think it’s not going to happen, and that thought in and of itself is very scary. Yes, no? Is it possible that we are pinching ourselves off from what we want because we’re afraid of not getting it or because we’re afraid that we actually might get it?

What was I thinking? Perhaps I wasn’t thinking. Perhaps I thought too much or too highly of myself. I believed that everything I was doing was right. I thought that I was being a good friend. I thought that we had a relationship; we were more than pen and paper communicating. But I just learned that I was wrong. Once again I was wrong. Once again, it was just another lesson that I had to learn… as if I haven’t learned enough. One would think that there could only be so many lessons that could be learned in one lifetime, but I just found out that it never ceases–not in this fleshly existence. Yes, what was I thinking when I thought that I meant something to you?

Maybe it’s me. Maybe my good intentions and advice that you asked me for was all for my own benefit. Maybe subconsciously I wanted to be held on a pedestal in your eyes. Maybe I wanted you to sing my praises loudly for everyone to hear. Perhaps that was my underlying motive of which I was unaware at the time.

Oh ego, look what you’ve done. You made me a diluted fool. You made me a seeker of gratification to which there is no end. I applaude your divine intelligence, but now I have to laugh. I see through you. I understand how you operate. You can’t get over on me because I’m genius in my own right. Your pathetic attempt to seek out glory and worth has now been recognized; therefore you can no longer win. You’ve been had just like me.

Go ahead and laugh. You led me to think that I mattered to them. You conjured up the illusion of greatness, yet I was the only one who observed this powerless trick. I hang my head in shame. Where’s my cross?

Oh ego, why? You’ve tricked me into thinking that they cared. So, it was all about me? Was it all about how I wanted to be something wonderful in their eyes? Never mind. I have stumbled upon this brilliant revelation as I write this; one of many revelations that I have had the pleasure of knowing and learning from. This is just another.

Ego, did you say something? Did I just hear you whisper that they only care about themselves? Did you just snicker that they’ve used me and betrayed me? Or are you telling me this because you feel bruised?