The adventures of a gainfully employed, divorced, 50 year old, vegetarian, twin, Jackson Browne loving, two time breast cancer surviviving, step mother, who is probably going to wind up being the crazy lady in the mobile home park who knits matching sweaters and tams for her herd of cats.

Monday, October 10, 2011

The Tate Modern

On one of the few days that we got up before sundown we took off on a walk down the banks of the Thames. We weren’t really on the banks because that is where the bums hang out, we were actually up on the street that runs along side of the river, (much safer.) We saw this phone booth and I begged the girls to pose and they were more than happy to oblige…that is until they all got in there and discovered that those quaint red phone booths make for a dandy toilet for homeless people. The urine index in there was enough to gag a maggot but the girls were troopers and I got the shot!

After taking the phone booth picture we walked through a park and took a full series of pics of Bek gleefully throwing leaves up in the air. Tori and I both got some great shots but I’m sorry to say that at this late date we can only find two of the pictures from the whole series. Look at how nice they turned out:.

Now imagine the last picture in the series where Bek got murky water in her mouth and she was coughing and sputtering! I know this sounds so mean but the murky water situation made me laugh so hard that I had tears running down my face.

There are two Tate Modern Museums in London and we visited both of them. I am the type of museum patron who walks very slowly and try’s to absorb everything I see through every pore of my body. I love museums but even I could have run though both these places at full speed. I really can’t distinguish what we saw at either museum so I might be interchanging what we saw at either particular location, but you’ll never know the difference because if you are smart you won’t waste your time by going to the Modern Museums. Bek and I were sooo excited to get to see the Andy Warhol exhibit. I had made a special effort to pack an old coveted tee shirt, that was once the uniform of my youth, that bore a silk screen of Warhol’s Marilyn Monroe so that I could give it to Bek while in the presence of all things Warhol. It was from way back when I was skinny so it was a small enough size that I could roll it up and put it in my camera bag. Once we got to the museum I all but herded our group to the Warhol salon. Boy was I disappointed to find that there was not one of his famous celebrity silk screens, nor even mention of his Campbell’s Soup can. No, instead we found ourselves in a room that was covered in Pepto Bismal pink and yellow cow print and aWarholian-esque picture of a pistol. WTH? I still managed to give Bek the tee shirt and I think she was touched by my gesture. I’ve seen pictures of her wearing the shirt so apparently she likes it.

Negative pictures on tin. Ok.

Amongst the works of art that were proudly displayed in the Tate were a pencil written script of “Top Gun”:

We also saw an entire room with nothing more than what appeared to be several years worth of dryer lint. I am not kidding. We also got to watch a short film of a naked women who was standing on a big rock next to a river. She was covered in blood and someone was throwing feathers on her. Yeah. Artistic. We got to see what we presumed was the original “ugly stick” and the best part of the day was when Tori dared to put her finger on an authentic WWII chrome fighter plane. We almost got kicked out over that faux paux. (how do you spell that? Spellcheck didn't have any suggestions.)

The only true piece of art we saw was the sculpture called “The Kiss", by Rodan. I loved it and even to this day I still enjoy looking at the pictures.The museums in London have full bars and so of course we thought if we had a couple of cocktails then maybe we would have a greater appreciation of the works of art. Between the 4 of us it cost over 50.00 BPS. Bek ordered a smoothie. Word to the wise…in London a “smoothie” is a cup of room temperature watered down yogurt with a little bit of honey mixed in. Upon her first sip of this concoction you could just see it in her face…she didn’t want to swallow what was in her mouth and she was not going to take another sip. Tori told her that for what they paid for that smoothie Rebek had better know that she was going to drink every last bit of it. Bek told Tori if Tori took a sip of it and still thought it was consumable then she would try to drink it. Tori took one sip and lo and behold…the drink was trashed.This was Bek innocently trying to take a portrait of herself. We thought it would be better with accompaniment. Seriously, what picture isn't improved by bunny ears?