You want them to do *what*?

You know the whole “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” adage?

I don’t buy it.

Well, not in this case. Sometimes, you just have to be frank, and realistic, and hope that that straight-speak helps in the end.

I’m talking about the “First Ever Bachelor Auction” at Vapor up in Saratoga Springs. The event, which they insisted on calling “first annual” for the first few months of promotion, has the potential to be great fun — and a huge success — but it’s turning into a colossal disaster.

First off, their promotion is just, well, off. A couple months ago I reached out to them on their Facebook page — a page they created for this event — offering to promote it if they gave me details. Yes, that’s right, free publicity.

I heard nothing.

Then, a few weeks later, they attempted to submit the recruitment process for the auction as a Seen suggestion. Happy to see something — anything — about the auction, I wrote them back and said I couldn’t approve the comment, because it was off-topic (people don’t “show up” to apply to be on the auction block), but that I was happy to promote it, if they sent me a proper press release.

Skip the intermediary details here and suffice it to say they basically insisted I just pull the information from their FB page, or glean what I could from the now-deleted comment. That’s not how media, or promotion, works (If we gave in to that, we reporters would end up spending all day chasing people down and doing their work writing their releases for them). So, yet again, the auction went unmentioned on OTE.

Finally, Sunday night I got what is a legitimate press release, complete with the day (March 12), time (6 p.m.), the location (Vapor up at the Casino in Saratoga Springs) and who this is benefiting (The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention — Captial {sic} Region).

All that is well and good, and I was excited to finally be able to promote an event that seemed like it would be right on the OTE wheelhouse — dating, nightlife, relationships, shopping — then I kept reading.

They still needed bachelors to apply, but there was a catch. The men were not just volunteering to get up there and be auctioned off to the highest bidder, but they have to solicit a date package. Yes, that’s right, the organization is asking men to donate their time on stage, donate their time for the date and track down a date. (AKA: “This is John. Win a date with him and the two of you will be going to D’Raymond’s” — a date John, not the AFSP, secured).

The universal feeling among everyone I read that to was that asking the guys to secure their own date packages is absurd, not to mention lazy on the part of the organization. They (the charity, not the men) should have lined up a bunch of date packages to be matched with the bachelors. I’ve participated in, and covered as a spectator, several of these auctions over the years. Not once have the bachelors (or bachelorettes) been responsible for bringing not only themselves to the stage, but a donated (or paid for by them) date idea. Getting up there to be auctioned off is tough enough, asking the guys to also find a good date is flat-out inappropriate.

While the idea — a bachelor auction in Saratoga Springs to benefit a worthy charity — is fantastic, the execution is horrible and, unless they get their act together in the next few weeks, I see this event being a major disappointment.

Well, a disappointment in all areas but one. They’ve asked Amanda to MC. As we know, she’s funny (OK, hilarious), quick on her feet and sassy as all get out. She is, without a doubt, the best thing about this whole event and the sole factor that would get me up to Saratoga to see who is raising their paddle in honor of Suicide Prevention.

As for the bachelors, unless the organization starts pounding the pavement themselves, instead of continuing to expect others to do the work for them, I suspect the dates are going to be of the McDonalds caliber complete with you-know-who.

44 Responses

As someone who has been involved in the recruiting for the event I can tell you that some of the bachelors who are doing this are having fun with the date part too. I believe that the organization is doing work getting donations for dates as well – I can’t be sure because I’m not involved in that part though.

I can also tell you that as their first time doing this, they are open to suggestions to make it a better event in the future. I have already made several suggestions about how it can be done differently in the future and they have been well received.

I have forwarded your comments to them and I’m sure that they’ll consider your points.

I’ve been a part of a date auction in college that benefitted the American Cancer society and the bachelors/bachelorettes and their dates all went on one date together… usually it was bowling or a game type center with food/drink provided. That just made it easier for all parties involved. However, I don’t see the bachelor’s securing their own date for this event as “absurd” or “lazy” but rather being part of their appeal. If John Doe is cute and says he’ll take me to Dino BBQ for the Texas brisket… then yes, I will be paying big bucks for him!

The way you wrote the title, I was expecting that the ASFP was asking the dudes to strip or something. This is soooo not a big deal and I’m sure it will be a fabulous and fun event.

why trash a worthy cause? isn’t it about preventing suicide and raising awareness. As a person who has lost friends and family members to suicide, I think it is a great idea. Usually is is volunteers doing this. So may be they are making mistakes, but that is how people learn for the next time.

Good points, Kristi, but what about this angle? If you were running this charity, would you really want a key event on your fundraising calendar to be a bachelor/bachelorette auction, even if it was properly planned?

I am not trying to insult people who have put hard work into this important charitable cause ( I know their hearts are in the right place), and I concede that I am a bit old-fashioned, but am I in the abject minority if I told you I find these types of events, which center around bidding on people, to be unsettling? (I also hate the downsides: I have heard stories where one or two fools ruined such events with cat calls or no bidding for some entrants.)

And are events with these dynamics in poor taste (or, more charitably, tone-deaf), especially when you are raising money for such a worthy cause such as preventing suicides, where the victims frequently suffer from low self-esteem, depression or have been publicly humiliated? I know it takes creativity to pull off successful fundraising, and the people running this have nothing but good intentions, but this just doesn’t feel right to me.

How is the idea for the bachelors to obtain their date package any different than seeking sponsors for a walk? Or a pagent? My daughter is currently in a pagent and she’s had to secure several hundreds of dollars of sponsorships. Talk about awkard being on stage… you won’t see me in a bathing suit! But wait – maybe one of the bachelors will be! :)

FamousAmos, because a walk is a lot less personal, or humiliating (AKA it’s not you up on stage, center of attention) than an auction, and I can say that as someone who has participated in both, over the years.

Not sure why I am responding to this post…I’m not a bachelor. I won’t be attending though I do support the cause. I don’t want to, in anyway, bash the promoters/creators of this event. I’m sure it’s been a monumental task. But I have to ask…wasn’t their first mistake made when they booked this at Vapor? I’ll admit that I’ve never been there but it certainly has the reputation of being somewhat cheesy. Not exactly the kind of environment that is conducive to big bets (pardon the pun). Amanda will certainly liven up the experience and will be the bright spot of the evening.

i kind of agree with kristi. these guys are already donating their time and effort by volunteering to be a bachelor – a potentially awkward situation for some, i’m sure. when was the last time you stood up in front of and were judged by dozens of people? but to make them secure a date package themselves and STILL need to ‘try out’ – it just seems like a lot to be asking of someone. i think they would get a lot more volunteers if the organization had gone through the trouble of getting donated packages themselves. then, if the guys wanted to add something more to make it more enticing, all the better.
i know it’s for a good cause but the organizers should take some cues from past events. it does say ‘lazy’ to me, too.

Think you are underestimating the number of guys out there desperate for a date. I don’t see many guys that would be willing to be part of the auction that won’t do it just because they have to secure a date package in advance, many will just pay it out of their pocket and just treat it as donating to charity while getting to go out on a free date.

I have to agree with most of the people in the comments section. The tone, and verbosity of the post did not come off as “Pro” anything about the auction event. I used to live in Albany, and was even a part of a few charity type auctions in my day. Typically to participate you have to pay a fee (small) to the organization. It seems that this organization is allowing the guys to create their own date packages as the entry fee.

The other item of note, is that in this economy charities are hurting. For example my friend is a fundraiser for the American Cancer Society, and their donations are down roughly 17-20% across the board. I do not feel this organization is “Lazy” by not setting up the A-B date package, but is probably as a fledgling organization not financially set to offer such a service. Any group that is promoting any unique opportunity to raise money should be herald in this environment, not criticized for their efforts.

Michael, let’s go with your theory that the economy is hurting. If that’s the case, then why should the bachelors have any more luck than the organization in securing date packages? I have never heard of a charity requiring such a thing at one of these auctions, and there’s a reason for that: they are asking too much of the bachelors.

I have to admit that when Amanda posted about it, I was intrigued and encouraged by friends to enter (because it would be a laugh riot for my friends and because it is for a wonderful cause) but coming up with the idea for a date was daunting. I have difficulty coming up with ideas for dates when I know someone well, and what would be wonderfully appealing to me (something like dinner and First Friday or Troy Night Out) may not be appealing to anyone else.

Plus, I would be happy to donate the $40 to the charity instead of “creating a package”.

You’re very critical of other people’s grammar, yet in one paragraph alone you use “suffice to say” rather than “suffice it to say,” “gleam” instead of “glean,” and “gave into that” instead of “gave in to that.” As a professional writer, you should be better than that! Get off your high horse!

When Amanda posted the first ad for this, I was considering volunteering myself as bachelor meat for funsies. However, when I saw that I need to create the date myself, I decided not to do it. Like Kristi said, I would be volunteering myself for potential humiliation, awkwardness, etc. And then I have to pay for it too? I thought that the people bidding on the bachelors were essentially paying for the date… no? Without the bachelors, you don’t have a bachelor auction. The bachelors are for sale… why do they have to pay to be for sale?

As for the promotion aspect and Kristi’s concerns about the way this event is being put together, I agree. I am a local musician and I have volunteered my performance for a bunch of charities. From that vantage point, I have to say that a lot of the organizers of such events really drop the ball as far as getting people to come and support the event. As entertainment, I have a job to do: play. But I am often asked to do more on the day of the event or the day before(supply a sound system for other performers; supply a sound system so people can make speaches about the organization; stay at the event from sun-up to sun-down; advertise the event; get your friends to volunteer for the event). I don’t mean to sound pretentious about it, but if I’m hired for a job, there are expectations set that I am to do that job. If the expectations are more than that, then it needs to be explained beforehand and possibly put in a contract. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve shown up for what I think is going to be a short performance and then I’m done, and found out that I’m also emceeing an event…

For the bachelor auction, the bachelors are the hired guns. They have a job to do. Show up. Be auctioned off. And then take someone they don’t even know on a date. True, they are volunteering for a cause, but the people who are putting this event together shouldn’t expect more.

Sure. It’s a great cause and supporting a great cause is admirable, but if everyone could afford to give generously to and volunteer for every cause there is, then there would be no need for events like this. This event is being put on to raise funds by getting people to spend money doing something fun. I can’t afford to give generously to charities, which is why I will volunteer my time as entertainment and/or a bachelor.

By the way, are there background checks done on these guys? Is the date going to be safe for the bachelor and the winning bidder?

James, I can’t speak for all of the bachelors but I can say with certainty that the 3 bachelors so far that I know personally that are doing this are nice, fun, good and yes safe guys to go out with on a date.

They may support a good cause, but bachelor auctions
are tacky. Switch roles. Imagine a bachelorette auction
with men bidding. You can count maybe 3 seconds before the
feminist-PC police shut that down.

My biggest concern with the event is the age requirements. As a guy in their mid-20s, would girls my age only be able to bid on me, or can any woman of any age bid on me? Not that I have anything against the cougar crowd, I’d just prefer to go on a date with a girl around my age.

I’m of two minds on this: on the one hand, I agree with Kristi–if these guys were good-natured enough to put themselves up for auction, that’s a pretty generous act right there, and you could consider that enough of a donation.

On the other hand, I’ve worked on a number of charity auctions (mostly silent auctions), and it can be a lot of work to solicit things like dinners, flowers, limo rides, etc. I’m betting the AFSP doesn’t have a big staff or a ton of volunteers, so they’re probably just happy to have some extra people helping them out. Plus, the more people you have involved with an auction, the more connections you have to local businesses for food/flower/limo donations.

The thing I can’t abide by, though, is not following up with Kristi on her requests for more information. Most event planners and organizations would KILL to have a reporter interested in publicizing their events, so this was a big promotions fumble.

I agree with you Kristi. These guys that are being “auctioned off” are giving up their time to do this. They could be watching football, or drinking beer with friends, who knows? The organization who is doing this should match up each guy with the prize.

As I get your point(s) and can understand your frustration with this, I do not agree with your thoughts on the date packages. Although it would be nice for the bachelors and their dates to have fun or romantic dates lined up, I find that not setting these up makes the auction that much more fun. I’ve been in an auction before (albeit in high school) and there was major competition amongst the men to get the highest bid. We’d do whatever it took to be on the top of that list, and by requiring the men to create the date package it promotes creativity and competition within the men. I know that if I were to be auctioned off, I certainly wouldn’t have a lackluster package, as that’s as much of the sale as the man himself. Yes, it may be lazy on the organizations part, but it puts the pressure on the men to differentiate themselves, and to ensure that the idea of their date package is at least fun for the woman. It’s a win win in that respect.

Having volunteered and worked for years in the non-profit world I had to respond to this post. While the men who volunteer to be Bachelor’s for the Auction are being very generous, let’s be real here as to what they are really doing. Someone lacking self-confidence, social skills or is an introvert is obviously not going to get convinced to “volunteer” as a Bachelor so I think it’s fair to say the guys should all be having a good time with auction process. And by picking their own date packages they get to do what their interests involve instead of getting stuck with whatever package number they got (opera anyone?). Another good thing about creating their own date package is they have their own network of friends, relatives, co-workers in which they could “tap” into for donations for a date package. The organization, with is limited staffing, has probably been to the local wells several times…it’s hard to keep asking the same contacts to give again and again. Another option is the Bachelors could choose to pay for the Date Package themselves, which they can could probably write off as a donation to the charity. And all those guys that may not feel comfortable getting up there, why not get involved by contacting the organization and making a donation some other way (donating a service for a date package, money towards a date package, etc.)…just saying there’s always ways to get involved!

mic, not only are these guys theoretically confident, but that tends to lead to a “try anything” attitude. Let both parties involved in the date be out of their comfort zone by sending them off for a night (or day) out.

One of the cool things about the auction when I took part was the anticipation not only of who would buy me, but of where we would go.

Amanda — no. But I date at my own risk :) as most people do. But, I don’t see this event as “come and mingle and maybe meet someone.” I see it more as “We hand selected these men for you to date!” Maybe there should be a disclaimer *buyer beware! Date at your own risk!

I’m also going to agree with Johnnysample… A “chick auction?” Really? With some of the creepy stalker stories that show up in the paper, I can definitely see something going completely awry with a chick auction concept…

This may be slightly off topic, but James #38– I have a huge issue with people who “just play Devil’s advocate” and this is something you so often state you’re doing, here on OTE and on my blog posts.

The problem I have with this is that you’re not necessarily voicing your opinion/concern — you’re just throwing out random issues to get a rise out of people. For example, on this post — when you question “background checks” — you’re not doing so because you’re concerned…since you state you “date at your own risk, as most people do” — and a disclaimer? If a woman doesn’t like what she hears/sees at the meet and greet before the auction and the auction itself, she doesn’t have to bid. That’s no different than a night out.

Normally, I let your “Devil’s advocate” game/excuse go, but when it involves a charity, I find it to be in incredibly poor taste.

Amanda — yes. Slightly off topic. But, I want you to know that I do hear your concerns.

Please understand that I don’t “play devil’s advocate” to “get a rise out of people.” And I don’t do it as a game or use it as an excuse. With these blog entries, ideas/thoughts/concerns are brought up. Then people contribute to the discussion by agreeing, disagreeing, sharing similar experiences, etc. Sometimes the blog entries deal with issues that effect a broad spectrum of people. A lot of times, by the time I read the entry, plenty of people have already stated something that resembles my own thoughts/ideas/concerns… So, I try to look at it from a different angle and present a new thought/idea/concern so that I’m not being repetative.

I will admit that I felt somewhat uncomfortable posting what I did… in hindsight, I pushed the envelope too far. (Although, I am concerned about what could happen if a psychopath signs up as a bachelor… With some of the concerns that people have these days, I’m surprised more aren’t worried about being unsafe.)

Truly, Amanda, my intentions with Devil’s advocate is to explore other angles of a thought/idea/concern.

One thing that I really respect about your blog (and this one!) is that you don’t apologize for your entries and you do push the envelope with some of your comments.

If you’d like to discuss this further, shoot me a message on facebook or e-mail. I won’t apologize for comments I post on the blogs, but I do hear your concerns and will tone things down. It is your blog after all! :)