Striking the perfect balance between family time and “me time” seems like a fairy tale to me. Is it even possible?

Recently, my “me time” meter had been running on empty and something had to change.

So there we were: My little family of four was driving back from a morning of errands. My preschooler was trying to get our attention by yelling the same phrase over and over again from the back seat of our little red SUV, while rhythmically kicking the back of my husband’s chair. My baby was crying in her car seat because she was exhausted and had a poopy diaper. With glazed eyes, my husband and I sat there and tuned them both out. We were only a couple of minutes away from home, anyway, but we were both tired and clearly burned out with our routine.

That’s when my husband turned to me and said, “Michelle, this is our life.” We laughed off the ridiculousness of our family chaos — but really, when exactly did this happen? When did parenthood become our entire lives with nothing left for just us? Making personal sacrifices for our children comes with the territory of parenthood, no doubt, but lately we had been neglecting ourselves and our needs entirely.

It’s funny how a simple phrase can change your entire outlook. It dawned on me — our kids aren’t our entire lives. While definitely at the top of the list, parenthood is only part of who we are. We must make time do the things we love, to recharge, or we’re never going to shake this perpetually frazzled feeling.

Somewhere along the line, I stopped dong the things that I love — like running. I made excuses, instead. “Oh, I can’t run tonight because I’m exhausted and Z is too rowdy and baby girl might get hungry while I’m gone, even though I just nursed her.” Plagued with mom guilt, I refused to spend even more time away from my family than I already did while working full time. In reality, I’m able to be a more patient and loving parent when I take care of myself and my needs, too.

In an attempt to prioritize “me time,” I decided to do something drastic. Last week. I registered for my first marathon. Yep. One way or another, it looks like I will be running the big 26.2 miles in September. Committing to this goal has allowed me to take time to myself four days each week to train. In addition to physically preparing me, running relaxes me and helps to clear my mind. The endorphins aren’t too shabby, either.

And you know what? Now that I have one week of training/scheduled “me time” under my belt, I feel great!

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4 Responses to Would you register for a marathon to get some ‘me time’?

Ambersays:

June 6, 2014 at 2:12 pm

Congrats! I ran my first half marathon in May and it definitely forced me to commit to “me” time. I ran with 2 friends and we always treated ourselves to coffee/girl talk afterwards. It did get a little nerve racking towards the end finding the time to train, because putting aside an hour to work out is a lot easier than a couple of hours (I’m as slow as molasses when I run), so I ONLY did my long runs on the weekends, usually early in the morning.

Of course “me time” is important. I hate it when people make excuses not to take it and then complain, so I’m glad you’re getting out there and taking time for yourself. It’s not always easy to say “I want something for myself” as women are told its selfish to not spend 100% of your time devoted to others. But it’s so worth it once you get over that and just do it.

For me I take ballet. I’m perpetually worried that at some point the post c section complications will force me to quit. But I can sit home and stew, or make use of the time I have to do what I want while I still can. I decided I’m happier dancing than not, even if I’m hurting. And there’s always the chance it could make things better (stretching the adhesions we think are causing problems), so why not try? I’m going to work up to pointe, that’ll require a solid years training at my studio and I’m happy to do it. My husband is happy that I’m happy, and my son and I get a break from being physically attached to each other. PLUS!, He and his father get one on one time and that’s important too. So me taking me time to myself benefits us all in my case.

Jlynnsays:

June 6, 2014 at 7:02 pm

I wish I had more me time as I can feel I really need it. I am with a kid, either one of my own or one I am baby sitting almost every hour of every week. I enjoy a bit of time after they are asleep to watch some stuff but I am stuck in the house.

It is tough as my husband is a farmer and on a good day works from 5am to 7pm with an hour for breakfast at 10 and an hour for lunch at 3. He works 7 days a week and nearly 365 days a year. This time of year is tough, this morning he was gone by 5, came home at 10:30 went to our daughter preschool picnic and came home and left. It is now 10 and he is still not home and wont be for another hour at least.

I have family that would gladly watch my kids but I feel guilty when all I am doing is going for a ride on a horse. Having someone other than their dad watch them for me to have fun just feels too selfish and I know that is silly but it is how I feel.

Terrysays:

June 7, 2014 at 10:04 am

I completely agree with your comments on feeling guilty leaving your child with family or friends or even daddy to spend some Me time. For the past 8 months I haven’t had a full nights sleep and me time is very rare. I find myself jealous and envious of my fiance that gets to pick up and go at any point. I can feel myself slowly getting more depressed and its putting strain on my relationship.

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