I too avoid small children. It will be 8 months since I lost my son on the 11th. I never forget about that day. I avoid newborns totally and pregnant people. I have a friend with a small boy who is 2 now. I have been around him all his life a good bit and I love him. I would hate to not see him but at times its hard. Like today I am babysitting him and changing his diaper made me think of Grayson.

Hey Barbara, I hope you find its okay for you. For me, I do recognize children of the same age as Elodie and think "hmmm". But I find that since they are not my children there is a distance from my loss and that it doesnt effect me. good luck.

thanks Anne
Katie, yeah who knows I may really enjoy working with him. I do love being around kids too. Glad to hear about your experience with going back to teaching. thanks for your response, it is helpful to think of this a little bit beforehand, instead of being taken completely for surprise.

Hmmmm......You (we) never know do we until we get there? I thought going back to school (work - I'm a teacher and currently working in an elementary school) would be tough last fall (2008) after losing Fiona in the summer of '08, but it ended up being OK. It was good for me. I was afraid, though, that being with all the children would be too much for me. It was good - nice actually. Sometimes it was weird - thinking and wondering and longing for my own child - but overall it was healthy for me to participate with children again even after my loss - children have always been my life's work - so it was OK for me. I couldn't just turn away form children. In a way - I think it made me even more interested in helping and being with the children. I remember telling my husband that I felt myself being more tuned into the children in a new way. If it doesn't work out for you - just be mindful of yourself and your needs - y'know. Don't judge or critique yourself. I struggled with going to a couple baby showers recently (little baby girl showers) - I went, but I had to be really attentive to myself and my own personal care around the baby girl issues. So just take care of yourself well and if you can't - you can't.

I took on a new client at work. I haven't started yet but my job is to take care of a 4 yr old boy. (Mom is temporarily unable to care for him) Kai would be 4yrs old as well. I'm not really sure how I'll react. I may be fine? Maybe I'm kidding myself.