This here fancy blog is where I can write whatever I want. This makes me happier than I can possibly describe... although, if I were a better writer I could probably describe it.
Crap.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Decisions, Decisions...

I have nothing going on. Nothing to post about. BUT, I know that you guys are probably just dying to know what’s going on with me. I’m sure you’re furiously emailing each other going, “where’s Lainey? What’s she doing? What’s going on in her life? I NEED TO KNOW! I NEEEEEEEED TO KNOW, DAMMIT!”

I finally got my taste buds back. YAY. But now, because I simply cannot live without conflict and self-created drama, I can’t decide what to eat. This happens almost every day. I have too many choices. I will probably end up eating a handful of peanuts and microwave popcorn because I simply cannot choose between all of the wonderful food in my kitchen. Here are my choices:

PLUS, I can’t decide what to drink. Should I have Diet Coke with Splenda? Diet Barq’s? Orange juice? Grape juice? Lemonade? Diet Pepsi? Plain water? Protein water? AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGH! I could have had a V8!

My wee brain cannot make a decision. All of these delicious foods are in my refrigerator or pantry right now. It’s not a matter of which would take longer to make or what one is healthier than the other. I simply can’t decide. This happens almost every day. Seriously. It’s really bad. Sometimes, I just go to bed without eating because I literally can’t choose. And then sometimes, I just say, “fuck it” and go to Chipotle.

I have little doubt that you’re thinking, “You’re a dick. If this is your biggest problem in life, you need to shut the hell up. People are starving in other parts of the world.” I know. I realize how unbelievably lucky I am and I’m truly grateful. I don’t mean for this to come off as whining or “oh woe is me, I can’t decide what to shove in my fat little face today. Wahhhhhhhh!” I’m just putting it out there as more of an example of what a freak I am.

Also, I believe careful readers will notice that motherfucking pine nuts are not included in any of the above menu options. Fucking pine nuts.

6 comments:

Ugh, I hate when you can't figure out what to eat. It's really quite frustrating, until you remember that if given the opportunity, about 75% of the world's population would kick you square in the balls/vajooter for thinking this. Oh well.

And holy shit, fuck you, you are not 40. What the hell? You look like you would be in like you 20's! I really do kinda hate you right now.

About Me

I'm not much of a 'girly-girl', but I'm not a tomboy either, so I don't know where that puts me. I was raised by just my father, so I guess sometimes I think like guys do. At times, this makes for a very weird inner monologue... I have the attention span of a gerbil on amphetamines and I suck at holding grudges. I always forget I was supposed to be mad.
I work in Human Resources (a breeding ground for monsters) and I'm a champion fidgeter.