DOUG and JAMIE: Corgi correspondence and classification

Corgi correspondence and classification

By DOUG DAVISON, Houston Herald

Since he began working as a journalist a couple of years ago, Jamie has developed a bit of a following.

During his journeys and escapades in the Jillikins, the Big Lug has drawn some attention through his love of history, his sarcastic, almost cynical sense of humor, his incredible cache of knowledge about all things trivial, and his forwardness and opinionated nature. Basically, Jamie has some fans.

In turn, he receives a steady flow of email messages from his fan base (actually more of a drip than a flow), especially from other Pembroke Welsh Corgis. While he can’t reply to every message he gets (or any, for that matter, because of his lack of thumbs), he tries to respond to as many as possible (by taking advantage of the fact a human he knows does have thumbs).

A fellow Corgi named Cory – who resides in Kirkwood, in the St. Louis metropolitan area – recently dropped Jamie a line. Among other things, Cory said he likes peanut butter and ice cream and that he has ties to Texas County and comes here now and then to visit some of his human’s relatives in Cabool.

“Do you think it will be warm in April?” Cory said. “I hope so. I sure don’t like this cold weather.”

Cory said he outweighed the 35-pound Big Lug by 11 pounds.
“My vet says I should lose a little weight,” he said. “But, you know the routine – treats and yummy goodies from the table. And oh boy, I love the words ‘supper on.’”

“Yeah, I like it when a human in the kitchen says ‘here boy,’” Jamie said. “Mmm, treats and yummy goodies from the table. That’s the good stuff.”

Cory and Jamie share a dislike of water.

“Yuck, I don’t like water and I don’t like rain,” Cory said. “It’s like, ‘do I hafta go out mom? Well,

okay.’ Then I scrunch up under the eaves next to the house. I’m a wimp when it comes to rain.”

“I can relate,” Jamie said. “I get my outdoor business done in a hurry when it’s raining. And if I have to stay out, I just hang out on one of the two covered porches at my house and wait until I can go in again and lie down on my pad.”

A while back, a female Corgi named Apple – from Harrison, Ark. – sent Jamie an email after reading his account of a big day on the job. She was apparently inspired by the Big Lug’s dedication to hard work, but was attracted to his physical appearance as well.

“If we hook up,” Apple said, “I can show you a really fun time. Then you’ll work a lot less.”

Miss Apple even suggested combining her talents with Jamie’s, for the betterment of all of Pembroke Nation.

“Maybe we can use your work talent and my skill for social activities to start an Internet site called ‘corgismingle.com,’” she said. “Of course, membership would be limited to us highly superior Pembroke Welsh Corgis and those dirt ball Cardigan Welsh Corgis would be excluded. We could charge lots of bones for annual memberships, and even lifetime memberships.”

“That’s so crazy, it might just work,” Jamie said. “I’d probably have to have full control of the decision making, though. I’m not sure I’m ready to have a dog named after a fruit as an equal business partner.”

Apple said things she likes include herding, riding an ATV, drinking Dr. Pepper, and skinny-dipping.

“No dipping for me,” Jamie said. “Skinny, fat or otherwise. Not if I can help it.”

Apple said her dislikes include anything shorter than her, anything that can shed more hair and “those socially incompetent Cardigan Corgis.”

“My list would have to include ticks, empty dog dishes and ground hogs that pretend to predict weather,” Jamie said. “And dogs barking on TV. I find that distracting and annoying.”

An incomplete list

The other day, Jamie and I stumbled across something online that was both cool and unfortunate.

The cool part was it was a list posted on the BuzzFeed website of the 40 Most Important Corgis of 2013 (complete with photos or video of each one). The unfortunate part was that Jamie wasn’t even ranked, let alone at No. 1.

“What’s up with that?” he said. “Who are all these mutts anyway?”

“I don’t know big man,” I said. “My guess is the folks who put the rankings together somehow didn’t know about you and we’ll just have to give them the benefit of the doubt on leaving you out.”

“Yeah, ’cause if they knew about me, my position at the top would have been a no-brainer,” Jamie said. “And I’m not boasting – I’m just sayin’.”

While he was justifiably disappointed with being snubbed, Jamie did acknowledge that several worthy Corgis were on the list.

“I guess they’re not all total losers,” he said.

The Big Lug particularly liked a few of the honorees, including the five staff members of Corgis on a Lawnmower, who were collectively ranked 39th. They were tabbed as the year’s most successful small business owners and plan to expand their operation from Texas and Oklahoma to five other states.

“That’s what I’m talking about,” Jamie said. “Corgis who get out and make something of themselves and for themselves.”

Jamie clearly didn’t agree with some of the rankings, like No. 2 Super Corgi, who donned a cheap looking Superman outfit while attending the annual SoCal Corgi Meetup on a beach in southern California.

“Super Corgi?” Jamie said. “More like Stupid Corgi. Look at those lame shades and that dime store bandana with an ‘S’ on it.”

“Hey, be nice,” I said. “That sounds like sour grapes to me. Or moldy dog biscuits.”

“I’m not bitter,” Jamie said. “I’m just sayin’.”

Doug Davison is a writer, photographer and newsroom assistant for the Houston Herald. Jamie is a big ol’ Pembroke Welsh Corgi. Email Jamie at ddavison@houstonherald.com.

Jamie sits in front of a laptop computer while pondering his reply to a fan.

Jamie fan and correspondent Apple, right, stands in a custom-made wooden box mounted to an ATV near her home in Harrison, Ark. With Apple are members of her support staff, including, from left, Sydney, Annie and head security officer Poo.

Getting “treats and yummy goodies from the table” are, from left, Amber, Cory, Winston and Chloe.

No. 39 on the list of the 40 Most Important Corgis of 2013, the five staff members of Corgis on a Lawnmower were the year’s most successful small business owners. In 2014 they are expanding their business from Texas and Oklahoma to five other states.

No. 1 on the list of 40 Most Important Corgis of 2013, brothers Corgnelius and Stumphrey are reportedly the two most famous Corgis in the cyber world (although what they’re famous for is more than a little sketchy). It should also be noted how gracious the pair are; when informed of their honor, they tweeted “thanks 2 r fans. We r v. humbled.”

No. 16 on the list of 40 Most Important Corgis of 2013, the Corgi That Ate An Entire Cupcake In One Bite played an important part in last year’s popular body acceptance movement.

No. 7 on the list of 40 Most Important Corgis of 2013, Trinket is the most charitable entry on the year’s list, having gathered Twinkies for the poor.