At the end of this month I am going to a HUGE beach party in Busan!! Hooray for fun in the sun!!!! So, I need to be in MAXIMUM SHAPE so I don't frighten away strangers and coworkers alike with my ABS OF FLAB. It's a wonder I can even find my bellybutton ring in there, amongst all the folds of unnecessary fat!!!

My first and favorite technique for busting gross gut is definitely the situps, natch! I'll be doing them EVERY DAY from now until the end of the month! But just plain situps are for losers and fat people!! I've never been known to do a regular exercise without a little twist either! So to add a little extra "umph" to my ab regime, I enlisted the help of five overweight midgets to hang off of my neck while I do the situps!!! WOW, feel the burn!!!!!! You can do this at home too!! If you don't have some midgets on hand, any household items will work! Just use some rope!! Last week I used my 20-inch TV set, and the week before that I actually managed to detach my kitchen sink!!

Of course, after a workout like that, I always need a little edible reward ^.^ In this case I munch on the wood chips that line my hamster's cage!! This is an excellent source of fiber, with just a hint of hickory flavoring!!! Mmmmmmm, delicious!! Be careful about eating too much though! Even wood chips have nasty things like carbs and calories -_- To ensure maximum flavor and minimum weight gain, chew some sugar-free gum with it! It balls right up, and you won't be tempted to swallow any of it!! Watch out for splinters ;-)