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Tonight are the Game Awards, a show that I will not watch nor livetweet nor pay attention to in any way beyond reading tomorrow’s recaps. But as I start to examine 2016 and put my own list together, I thought it might be useful – for myself, at any rate – to examine what the category leaders are as decided by whomever Geoff Keighley’s judges are. The categories/nominees below are cut/pasted from Polygon, so all links below are theirs. You will notice that I elected not to include or discuss the “Trending Gamer”, “Fan Creation”, or eSports categories here, and that’s simply because I don’t give a shit.

GAME OF THE YEAR

“For a game that delivers the absolute best experience across all creative and technical fields.”

I actually played all of these games. I must confess – and I’ll get to this later, in my own year-end wrap-up – that Overwatch does nothing for me. This should not come as a surprise, given that I don’t really go for multiplayer shooters; that said, I suspect that Overwatch will more than likely be tonight’s big winner. My personal choice out of these nominees is probablyUncharted 4, though I’d find no real fault with any of them as the winner (except for INSIDE, which, while having a number of wonderful qualities, I wouldn’t put anywhere near a top 5 list, especially in light of Firewatch.)

BEST GAME DIRECTION

“Recognizing a game studio for outstanding creative vision, game direction and design.”

I did not play Oxenfree, which I’d like to correct at some point; I played the first 30 minutes of Mafia 3 and found it super-janky and buggy. For me, then, I’d be choosing between Firewatch and Uncharted 4, and while I’d love to see Firewatch win this, I’d expect U4 to take the prize.

I’d love to see Firewatch win this – my interest was first piqued in this game specifically because Olly Moss was doing the art direction – but it’s hard to see how Uncharted 4 doesn’t win this (unless Overwatch is going for a sweep). Say what you will about U4, but it’s a staggering technological achievement and I’ve never seen anything else like it.

I didn’t play Rez Infinite or Thumper – I don’t yet have a PSVR, which is a topic for another post – but it wouldn’t surprise me to see either of these win, considering some of the hyperbole used to describe playing them.

Boy oh boy, how to choose. The three leads in Uncharted 4, or the two unseen voices of Firewatch? I might give this to Cissy Jones; of all the nominees here, she had the highest degree of difficulty given that she’s purely a disembodied voice that we, as the player, are meant to empathize with and perhaps even develop a bit of a hopeless crush on.

GAMES FOR IMPACT

“Honoring exemplary games that take on real-world issues and advocate for social change.”

I wouldn’t be surprised to see That Dragon, Cancer pick this one up. I am ashamed to admit that I haven’t played any of the games in this category, though I know an awful lot about TDC. I also have a 3 1/2-year-old son, and I don’t see how I’d be physically able to play through TDC, given the subject matter.

BEST INDEPENDENT GAME

“For outstanding achievement in a game made outside the traditional publisher system.”

No idea how this is going to go. My personal choice for handheld game of the year is probably Swapperoo for the iPhone. EDIT: no, I’m an idiot, the winner here is Picross 3D Round 2 for the 3DS. That game is MAGIC and it’s in my top 5 for the year, no questions asked. Can’t believe I forgot about this.

My PC basically shit the bed earlier this year and so I have been unable to play Civ 6, which I suspect might win this. I’ve played the first few levels of XCOM 2 on console and it’s great, and also still really intimidating, which is why I haven’t played more of it.

BEST FAMILY GAME

“Best game for family play, including toys-to-life, rhythm/music/dance, and other genres.”

I found Lego Star Wars: TFA to be dreadful. Also found Ratchet & Clank to be forgettable and tedious (even if it’s charming and beautiful in certain spots). I downloaded and played Pokemon Go for about 5 minutes just to see what the fuss was about; it did nothing for me beyond drain my phone’s battery. I like what I’ve played of Dragon Quest Builders, though I haven’t played very much of it.

Even if it’s weird to me that these two genres would get combined like this, the clear winner is Forza Horizon 3, arguably my favorite driving game of all time. (Sorry, Burnout. I love you, but you disappeared.)

This is a meaningless and stupid and pointless category, based solely on preview information and manufactured hype. But obviously this goes to Red Dead Redemption 2, with Mass Effect: Andromeda a close second. I don’t really give a shit about Zelda just yet. Fight me.