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Thursday, October 9, 2014

Rainbows

There is something I have not said on the blog yet. I can't exactly figure out why because it is pretty exiting. It is kinda funny though how you can be so excited about a certain moment and then the moment passes and it does not quite change as much as you think.

Remember when I was complaining that my husband had zero time for me because he was studying so much? Well comps came and went so quick I did not have time to think about them. They were something we have been anxiously awaiting for the past two years. As time got closer things got more stressful. And then they were over and all of a sudden my husband was normal again. Then we had to wait for two weeks to find out the results. But I am happy to say that my husband passed! I am extremely proud of him and happy that his hard work paid off! I was, however, hoping that him passing would make things feel different, that we were moving towards something. But things don't really feel that different.

I know it is because we are not quite done yet. While stress levels have been much lower, he still has to take and pass comps again in December. That date is quickly approaching and will be here before we know it. We have yet to enter "crunch time" but I know it is just a little bit far off so I am trying to enjoy the free time while it is here.

I am just feeling fed up. I am done with Louisiana. I really just want this time to be over so we can move. I hate to say it because I know there are plenty of people who live here and love it here and I don't want to offend anyone. But it is just so different from what I am used to and with every day that passes it makes me miss home that much more. Missing home is more than missing my friends and family, it is also missing what my home city has to offer. The stores and entertainment and everything else that comes along with living in a big city. The people who grew up here and have family here have a completely different perspective of this place. I work with many people who have relocated here and I have yet to find someone that moved here who fell in love. So I know that I am not alone in my feelings for this place.

There are a few people here that I will miss so incredibly much. But for the most part, I don't really feel like I belong here. I have not really found anyone that I click with outside of work. I have really been struggling with this these last few months. It just makes me realize that it is harder than I realized to find true friends. I think I may just be looking in the wrong places, but really making friends as an adult is hard. It is even harder in a city that most people have lived here all their lives and are therefore not looking to meet people. I am also in this awkward stage in life where I am too young and too old all at the same time. I am beyond college, but not yet in the "family" stage. But as a result, I have been feeling pretty isolated and lonely.

I am over it. Ready to move on. Ready to move out. Ready for the next chapter. Ready to see what the future holds for us. Ready to find a new city to explore and fall in love with. Ready to stop looking at my planner and wish that it would say January instead of October.

I found this on Pinterest and I really love this quote. This time will be over soon and then we will be able to enjoy the rainbows :)