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When you become a mother, there are some sacrifices you have to make. Say goodbye to free-time, your pre-baby body and, of course, the biggest loss of them all, designer items. The most exciting purchases you’ll make now are cute baby booties and miniature clothing you…

To have a good rest during yourfamily holidays, you are to get rid of extra load. It is about material or non-material issues, like business calls and overloaded baggage. It is possible! Since you’ve made up your…

To have a good rest during yourfamily holidays, you are to get rid of extra load. It is about material or non-material issues, like business calls and overloaded baggage. It is possible! Since you’ve made up your…

Mom's of Blended Families

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When I met my hubby I knew he had a daughter. But it never clicked until I actually met her. She was 4 years old, and I was scared to death of her. Now 8, turning 15, we have our ups & downs, I love her! How do you work your blended family?!

The teenage years are hard with kids whether they are your biological kids or your step kids. My own two girls, 13 and 16, are a handful. My stepdaughter who is 11 is a dream. Very easy now. A few years ago, not so easy. I can't remember where I read it, but some great stepparenting advice I learned was exactly what I just wrote. If the your kids and step kids are fighting don't necessarily blame it on being the by-product of a blended family. Chances are if they were natural siblings, they'd be at each other's throats too. Still a problem, but not one you have to feel guilty about.

Welcome to the groug Carol! That is some awesome advice. Sounds a lot like what Sweet Hubby and I went through, and now we are on the same page!! I love my step-daughter, and we will have our ups and downs as she gets into her teenage years... kinda scared of those years.

Dear Crunchy (and everyone who reads this)
I am compiling a list of my own for a book I am writing about blended families. I would like to interview parents in blended families to get their experiences from the beginning (how they met their mate) , where they decided to live, how the kids are coping and all the other concerns, joys and pitfalls of living in a blended family. I will respect and protect everyone's privacy since I write my blog under a pseudonym, I certainly understand everyone's desire and need to protect their families. When I have my list ready, I will post it here and on my blog. Also, my daughter is doing the same thing through the perspective of a step child. Her blog, which should be up soon, is called stepkidstories. Stay tuned.
Cheers.

I have to say that I have figured it out as I went along. I used common sense most of the time, winged it some of the time and tried to be as optimistic as I could all of the time. I read a lot of books on the subject, but mostly relied on my own good judgement and the support of my wonderful husband. That is the first step in a successful family, whether it is blended or not. There were times when my husband and I fought and went for counseling, but we never gave up on each other or our commitment to making it work. Here are some of my tips: Make sure you and your mate get alone time. Try to see things through other's perspectives. Always remember you are the parent and need to lead by example.
Carol
www.shwanda.com