Rants about Life, Politics, Stupid People, and anything else that just trips my trigger. If you are offended by bad words and someone else's opinion based on whatever info is available, maybe this isn't the place to visit. If not, come on in, tie up, grab a beer and stay awhile. Comments are welcome, Really. Living Life Through the Windshield!

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Look at my fellow conservatives! There they go, glumly shufflingalong, depressed by the election aftermath. Not me. I'm virtuallyeuphoric.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not thrilled with America's flirtation withneo-socialism.. But there's a massive silver lining in those magicalclouds that lofted Barack Obama to the Presidency. For today, withouta shred of intellectually legitimate opposition, I can loudly proclaimto America: The Era of White Guilt is over.

This seemingly impossible event occurred because the vast majority ofwhite Americans didn't give a fluff about skin color, andenthusiastically pulled the voting lever for a black man. Not just anyblack man. A very liberal black man who spent his early careerrace-hustling banks, praying in a racist church for 20 years, andactively worked with America-hating domestic terrorists. Wow! Someresume! Yet they made Barack Obama their leader. Therefore, as ofNovember 4th, 2008, white guilt is dead.

For over a century, the millstone of white guilt hung around ournecks, retribution for slave-owning predecessors. In the 60s, Americanliberals began yanking that millstone while sticking a fork in the eyeof black Americans, exacerbating the racial divide to extort asocialist solution. But if a black man can become President, exactlywhat significant barrier is left? The election of Barack Obamaabsolutely destroys the entire validation of liberal white guilt. Thedragon is hereby slain.

So today, I'm feeling a little "uppity," if you will. From this dayforward, my tolerance level for having my skin color hustled is nowexactly ZERO. And it's time to clean house. No more Reverend Wright's"God Damn America," Al Sharpton's Church of Perpetual Victimization,or Jesse Jackson's rainbow racism. Cornell West? You're a fraud. Gohome. All those "black studies" programs that taught kids to hatewhitey? You must now thank Whitey. And I want that on the final.

Gangsta rappers? Start praising America. Begin with the Pledge ofAllegiance. And please, no more ebonics. Speak English, and who knowswhere you might end up? Oh, yeah, pull up your pants. Your underwearis showing. You look stupid.

Black Fraternities? Seek diversity. Race card? It's now the joker.Miss Black America? Get in line with all the other lovely ladies.Reparations? Paid.

To those Eurosnots who forged entire careers hating America? I'm stillwaiting for the first black French President.

And let me offer an equal opportunity whupping. I've always despisedlazy white people. Now, I can talk smack about lazy black people.You're poor because you quit school, did drugs, had three kids withthree different fathers, and refuse to work. So when you plop yourColt 45-swilling, Oprah watchin' butt on the couch and complain "DaMan is keepin' me down," allow me to inform you: Da Man is now black.You have no excuses.

No more quotas. No more handouts. No more stealing my money becausesomeone's great-great-great-great grandparents suffered actual painand misery at the hands of people I have no relation to, andpersonally revile.

It's time to toss that massive, obsolete race-hustle machine upon theheap of the other stupid 60s ideas. Drag it over there, by wifeswapping, next to dope-smoking. Plenty of room right between free loveand cop-killing. Careful, don't trip on streaking. There ya go, don'tbe gentle. Just dump it. Wash your hands. It's filthy.

In fact, Obama's ascension created a gargantuan irony. How can yousell class envy and American unfairness when you and your black wifewent to Ivy League schools, got high-paying jobs, became millionaires,bought a mansion, and got elected President? How unfair is that???Now, Like a delicious O'Henry tale, Obama's spread-the-wealth campaignrendered itself moot by it's own victory! America is officially ameritocracy. Obama's election has validated American conservatism!

So, listen carefully…Wham!!!

That's the sound of my foot kicking the door shut on the era of whiteguilt. The rites have been muttered, the carcass lowered, dirtshoveled, and tombstone erected. White guilt is dead and buried.

Monday, November 17, 2008

> NINE WORDS WOMEN USE>> (1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.>> (2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.>> (3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.>> (4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!>> (5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement of ten misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)>> (6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women ca n make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.>> (7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').>> (8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!>> (9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.