Monday, December 17, 2012

Essential Baby Gear You (Probably) Don't Need

exhibitionist ... and his super profesh haircut.

If you have or have had babies and have dealt with multiple personalities, needs, wants, and temperaments then odds are good that you won't completely agree with this post. I rarely to never agree with baby/maternity must-haves lists but I'm one of the crazies that (maybe because our main floor isn't carpeted? or maybe because I'm a high maintenance nut) considers the Bumbo to be a can't-live-without and I love having a changing table. Gasp.

Fancy Bottles: I know a lot of people choose and are able to breastfeed exclusively (which goes without typing that this is ideal but obviously not an option for every mom) and have no need for bottles but if you do, especially in the early months, I would personally caution very much against throwing a lot of lettuce at complicated bottle systems. Because of my thyroid treatment we had to start bottle feeding Julia full-time at just 8 weeks old and it took awhile to find the magic bullet (and now we realize that she is just a little bit tongue tied which may have contributed to the problem) but we eventually settled on the cheapity cheap packs of bottles from Target with this nipple
. We had the fancy vent/flow/bent angle bottles and the bottles with the bags and those were not only a huge pain with their multiple tops/bottoms/sizes etc etc etc but also just didn't work and were the cause of a lot of middle of the night curses from both parental units as she tried to choke down the milk from the "slow flow" bottles. Sebastian took a cheap bottle with the cheap nipple it came with like a champ pretty early on - probably because he was starving and a boy and huge. I know we were totally spoiled and don't anticipate that happening ever again.

Diaper Bag: Okay, maybe I just haven't found thee bag (and to be honest ... I stumbled on this site last week and can't bring myself to close the window ... quite yet) but even when the kids were really young and required bottles and all the other high maintenancy things that infants need for their outings ... I've found that throwing everything in my (somewhat roomy) purse works just as well. The cheapy bottles come with lids to avoid spills and I've never had a baby complain about their pacifier being kept in a non-pacifier specific pocket in a non-baby specific baby. Call me vain but I'm already toting a baby or two, probably a spit up stain or four, and maybe a bit of a weary expression and I'm happy to not haul yet another baby-esque thing around town (town being the regular grocery store, Target, Costco, the hospital cafeteria, and Mass -- my oyster).

Special Swaddling blankets: Both Sebastian and Julia were born right before the cold weather set in and they definitely enjoyed their fair share of swaddles and we found the large squares of hemmed flannel worked just fine. However, someone did give me a special swaddle blanket for this baby and I'll be surprised if I don't love it. But ... we obviously survived two infantdoms with the old fashioned blankets. Here is an especially awesome tutorial on how to swaddle.

Diaper Genie: More of a hassle than it's worth. I run with a complicated system of grocery bags and (depending on how much of a break I need from the pant soilers and the outside temperature) a leisurely walk out to the big trashcan. If Sebastian loves the kitchen trashcan as much as he does ... I can only imagine the affair he would try to get away with with a Genie. I'm happy I'll never know.

Bumbo Tray: Maybe I'm the only sucker that thought it was a good idea but it is a ginorm pain to snap on and snap off which is enough of a deterrent for me. I thought we could get away with not having a high chair but Julia's thighs swelled just enough to laugh that notion right out the window and we are now proud owners of a traditional high chair that has gotten a lot of use and is probably really gross as Sebastian is a master food squirreller.

Breast Pump: I'm not not not not saying that these aren't vital to the feeding of lots of babies but pumps are expensive and in my experience, renting a heavy duty one from the hospital for a fraction of the cost of buying a brand new one and making sure that pumping works for you (I won't punish you with a novella of the nightmare it was for me) is a smart way to go. And I know a lot of people can get by with a little hand held pump as well. Maybe you'll end up buying and loving a fancy system but the investment is worth looking into before you take the expensive plunge. UPDATE: I bought this manual breast pump when Theo was born because I was dying and the lactation consultants would not return my whimpering voicemails and I highly recommend it to provide super necessary relief in the early days!!

Almost Anything New: Okay, with the huge exception of bottles, pacifiers, etc you really can find a lot of gear (that will only get a few months of use anyway) secondhand. My mom found a Baby Bjorn for nine dollars at a secondhand store that isn't the fanciest/lightweight/prettiest model but it has worked perfectly for the first few months of both kids' earth dwellings. Maybe it grosses a lot of people out but I find the vast majority of the kids clothes at thrift stores. We've received tons of clothes as gifts but Sebastian rarely rocks anything brand new (many thanks to generous Caroline!!). He seems to be in a new size every few weeks anyway so it doesn't feel like a huge waste if he only wears the pair of pants that set me back $3.00 twice in his life. And my kids last about 3 weeks in the newborn clothing but maybe you don't birth beasts like I do.

Baby Nail Clippers: Fine. Maybe I'm getting too nitty gritty here but I hate baby nail clippers. I think they make them dull on purpose so that they are safer but they require multiple tries before the nail is actually cleanly cut and cause a lot of crying from both baby and baby mama ... it might sound nuts but using a toenail clipper works best ... you can get the whole nail with one (precise!!) clip and there won't be any hangnails leftover to scratch etc.

BabyShoes: I know they are super cute but I guarantee that as soon as that baby learns how to kick (pretty much immediately) you're going to lose one and then have one very cute and very useless collection of 1/2 pairs of shoes. Maybe our kids look trashy in just socks (that also get lost) and maybe I just need to invest in some shoes that are impervious to kicks but I've purchased and lost lots and lots of super cute shoes. No more. Stopping the madness with bebe #3.

I could keep going with the newborn mittens (glorified socks), and the wipe warmer, and baby washcloths, and and and and I won't. Like I said, this post is potentially 100% moot to you and even my future self as I'm only two babies in. This next Patton might be an entirely different needy story.

I'm sure I'm missing a lot of stuff .... fill a novice in, will you? Maybe next time I'll make a list of actual essentials which might take to infinity .... and beyond.

Seconding the baby shoes being a silly item - but for developmental reasons as well. Until baby is super good at walking, they are better off being able to feel the ground with their feet, through socks or those slip-on Robeez type shoes. Which stayed on my kiddos feet MOST of the time, enough that I didn't hate them.

And as for socks that don't stay on - Old Navy socks DO stay on! I swear by them. They are the only socks I buy for my buddy.

Oh I kind of loved this post! Very useful info. My mom contends that 95% of the baby stuff out there is COMPLETELY ridiculous and not needed. However, I am sure I will be lured into purchasing several pairs of baby shoes. I' m a sucker for the cute. I'll learn I'm sure.

While I agree that those special "fool-proof" swaddle cum straight jacket they sell are pretty pointless, I do love the Aden & Anais swaddles for the perfectly rational reason of I can swaddle my Texas summer babies in them without overheating them. My first was born in July, and this one is due in early June, and whatever the specific weave of cotton these blankets are made from, it's both durable and very lightweight and breathable. They were also actually big enough to swaddle my nine pounder. Those flannel blankets like the ones you get from the hospital are both too small and too hot for our climate.

But that swaddling tutorial is wonderful! I'd never considered that letting the blanket touch a baby's cheek could set off the rooting reflex!

your email address isn't attached to your profile so I'll respond here. I've heard great things about those blankets and if I ever have a baby born in the summer I'm sure I'll be dying for something similar. My mom has been generous enough to make us nice and big flannel blankets that are great for swaddling --- never tried to hospital ones -- good to know.

I found a pair of Pedipeds at the GW brand spankin new after hearing one too many laments from my mother that shoeless babies were a little 'white trash.' Okay, Grandma. Anywho, they are ridic cute and stay on so well, even against the tugging of an older sib.

But can I add some worthless to this list? Any outfit/bib proclaiming 'baby's 1st' anything. Once the momentous occasion has passed...worthless. don't do it.

Also, a travel system stroller. Unless you know for certain this babe will be your one and only, it will soon be rendered obsolete by a younger sibling, and travelling with anything more complex than an umbrella stroller is needlessly painful.

I also take Grace's approach on baby footwear, and my mother is ALSO constantly telling me my children look like "white trash" without shoes!

Ditto on the stroller, too. If it's your first or your next kid up is a walker, stick with the umbrella stroller as long as possible! And once I had two babies on my hands (same ages as Julia & Bash) we get a Phil & Ted's double off craigslist. It's heavy but it's as narrow as a single and it saved my life when we lived in NYC.

I never even looked at travel system and still use just one stroller. Found a Bob Revolution on CL, and have used the daylights out of it for running and as our everyday stroller. Now that wee man walks, I use it to hold my bag and my coat...

I can't go a few days without a baby nail clipper. Those nails grow suuuuuper fast!

My favorite swaddle blankets are the square flannel Swaddle Designs ones. We still use them at night time (baby is 7 months old, she squirms out of it in the middle of hte night, but it's mostly for the "falling asleep" part where she keeps playing with her hands and keeps herself awake. I went out and bought some of those expensive swaddle thingys with the velcro when she was born and she outgrew them before we could use them a few times. Waste of $$$.

A nice expensive pump is an essential for me, since I was using it multiple times a day for the first few weeks/months, and now I'm down to pumping once a day at work, and I'm planning on pumping/nursing until she turns one (just like my son), so it gets used a LOT. I don't think I'd want to rent a hospital pump or hand-express for a YEAR.

I did with a regular trash can for 2 pregnancies and then I was pregnant with 2 in diapers (maybe even 3) and had to get a diaper genie sorta thing. I could not walk into the room with the changing table without wanting to vomit. But now we just use the bags since the contraption broke. So you could do that.

Bumbo seats - my son's physical therapist said they are horrible for posture/walking/standing, etc. If someone gives you one, put a towel in the bowl of a bottom but otherwise don't use.

Also, those things that warm the wet wipes - not needed. Hold the wet wipe between your hands for a minute if you're so worried about a cold wipe on a bare butt.

And I wish I would have gotten a double stroller with a carseat when I was first pregnant - especially because of how quickly my kids came.

I'd have to add that you don't need a million bazillion baby-movers. You know, swing, bouncy seat, electronic rocker, etc, etc, etc. Just one will do fine. I preferred a bouncy seat because it was easy to move around from room to room with me.

I like this post! Yes, yes, most things are completely not needed. I will second the Aden and Anais blankets, which we got a few of second hand for bebe #2 and adore. I will never try to swaddle in anything else ever again. But seriously, I've told enough pregnant women that what you NEED is a good baby sling/wrap/carrying device and diapers. That's it. If you travel around a bit add a carseat that's easy to do up, aka NOT the one I own. The rest is gravy.

I'm going to have to agree with all of this...this time around, we have bought nothing and gave most things away. Most things that you buy for a baby are to get you through some weird 3 week phase they are in, and then it sits around your house for eternity. A crib, diapers, some clothes, and a pacifier are all we needed in the beginning. Simpletons, we are.

Also, did you get a new look? I'm really digging it. Although, I really loved the old one too. I'm just a happy camper over here.

I love posts like this because it is fascinating to me how different everyone is. I'm totally with you on anything new and bottles (n never took one anyway) and baby shoes (someone gave us a pair this time and I've tried putting them on c exactly twice and exactly twice have nearly lost my mind trying to keep track of them).

But I loooove the swaddleme blankets - our babies broke out of blanket swaddles basically the second they were born, no matter HOW tight we did them (and trust me, D is a pro at doing them super tight). The velcro helps immensely. We actually didn't use them for the first few months with n but then finally decided to try it out because someone had given us one and I was shocked how much easier it made things. No more middle of the night re-swaddles and amazingly sleeping babies!

Breast pump - I just use a $25 manual and it works just fine. But I only pump once every week or two, so it's fine.

Diaper bag - just used a giant purse type thing with n but decided I wanted an actual diaper bag with millions of pockets and space this time. Not for the baby, really, but for church with the toddler and all his activities and meals since church crosses lunchtime. I cannot tell you how much I love it and its ZIPPER to ensure everything stays in. (It's this one, if you're curious: http://www.amazon.com/JJ-Cole-Mode-Diaper-Mixed/dp/B00511J6IA/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top)

Here's a post I did on my must haves and nice to haves and absolutely do not haves: http://laceetc.blogspot.com/2012/11/true-baby-essentials-for-small-space.html

Good list! I only just started using a real swaddle sack because my kid can bust out of blankets now. I didn't have one for the newborn stage though. Even now, I only got it because I had a gift card. If I didn't, the kid would go unswaddled and be just fine. As for breast pumps, I got one because I will have to go back to work and I want my baby to keep drinking breast milk. Also? It was fully covered by my health insurance. SO at the very least check there before you buy one!

I totally agree on buying everything you can second hand, craigslist and any child-centered thrift store are my best friend! But of course it took two kids for me to learn that, I wanted everything new and all the crazy not-neededs when I was preggo with number 1. I definitely found out the hard way about the bottles. We bought expensive Avent ones and were stuck with them because of how much we spent even though they leak like crazy! Now we are perfectly happy with Wal-mart bottles. Good post, I love reading what other moms hate and what they can't live without!

PSA here... A lot of insurance companies will now cover breast pumps, due to new health care laws. So if you need a heavy duty one, check with your insurance to see what and when they'll cover. I'll be able to get a double electric that retails for over $200 for free after the 1st of the year, thanks to my insurance.

Really glad to see both in the post and the comments affirmation of my suspicions from moms. Prepping for baby uno i find myself thinking how i don't want all those baby "essentials" since we're already tight on space. Will probably need a light weight swaddling blanket since we'll be welcoming baby at the beginning of the Texas summer, but all in all i really just want the essentials...the reeeeeeeaaaaaal essentials.

Although a bit pricey, I wouldn't want to live without my nap nappy. You can take it anywhere ( for overnight trips or just moving it to a new room to keep an eye on the baby for naps), and it is at the perfect angle if your baby has excessive spit up problems (both of mine)! Also with 3 under two and a half, it makes it a bit easier to manage everything.

What? You change your babies on a changing table? Spoiled babies. The floor or bed works just fine for our less materialistic children. Thankyouverymuch.

You must check out Robeez if you haven't already - I love them so. Maybe if I write more about my love for them they will send me some for free? Are you listening Mr. Robeez Man?

And I got a free double pump from my sister's health insurance (they gave her a free one with every baby that had "trouble" nursing). It was a lifesaver for me for the four long months I pumped at work. I don't know how other moms pump for a whole year. Amazing!

Grace! Great post! Totally agree with every single one...except for the diaper bag. Between our jobs, my husband and I share days home with our little girl, so he goes out with her quite a bit and doesn't have a purse. It's nice to have all the stuff in one place to switch between the two of us.

I have a link up of what you really need/what you really DON'T need for baby posts as part of my Baby on a Budget series, won't you link this post up? http://www.catholicnewlywed.com/2012/01/baby-on-budget-what-you-really-need.html

I think the Diaper Genie is worse than a garbage can because you can kind of ignore it, but then you open it and want to die of the smell. The open trash can reminds me to take out the diapers LONG before they have that week-old smell to them.

I pumped TONS with Ella (for no real reason except that I started out doing it lots and then couldn't break the habit) but I'm doing it WAY less this time around so far. Ahhh, bliss.

oh i love this post, mostly because if i wasn't so lazy i could have written it myself! with ryder being my first, i ran out of babies r us crying when i first tried to do my registry. no really. then, after getting all these gifts, my ever-practical brain felt guilty that so many (very generous) people spent so much (like really mucho) money on not-needed things. i've probably bought a total of 6 things new for Ryder this year... one being a pair of kick-A new balance sneakers he loves! all the other clothes/toys/'essentials' have been hand-me-downs and any toy not received as a gift was bought at a kid's consignment shop/GW/yard sale and disinfected. i, too, cut Rs nails with a toenail clipper. a to the men. even with those, i usually get him to sit still long enough to do 1.4 nails per day, which means by the end of the week, we pretty much just need to start over. i'm SO so glad we didn't fork over mucho lettuce for a pump; we rented one from the hospital and still no luck so it wasn't a complete waste. our diaper thingie was a shower gift and holds approximately 6 diapers if they're rolled up thistight. waste. and the refill bags cost $6 for 6. wastier. we've never used a diaper bag; i use a big pocketbook if needed, and when tom has him, he uses a man-friendly corduroy bookbag i've had since highschool. we too were going to forego the high chair in favor of the bumbo till Ryder's chubby legs outgrew it a year ago, but even then, we just bought the 'highchair' that straps to a regular chair to save room.

oh, you're still reading? great. my 'must-not haves' are as follows:bottle warmer (~$40) - we returned ours after realizing that if running it under hot water works just as nice. although we DO have a wipes warmer because for the price it definitely makes the experience a little more pleasant (have you ever used a cold wipe yourself? not fun!!)new pack&play - we bought ours used at baby consignment store for $40!!! i disinfected it and voila, saved myself a million dollars. baby monitor - we never had one. we can hear ryder no matter where in the house we are. if we're too far away to hear, either we shouldn't be that far or we WANT to be that far!! ok. i'm done. thank you for being awesome! :)

I love lists like this--even when everyone's is different since we all have different kids. I love my moby wrap when the babies are under 9 months or so and the ergo after that since I never figured out how to do a back carry with the wrap and my newly pregnant belly doesn't handle any pressure (and especially bouncing) from a front carried child. I thought that the Aden and Anais blankets were ridiculously expensive, despite the rave reviews, so I got some very similar 100% cotton gauze from our fabric store and made my own for baby #2. Best blankets ever. The tiny flannel ones that are sold in 3-packs as receiving blankets? Useless until I cut them up with pinking shears to make hankies for the toddlers.

I love the changing table. We never change our daughter anywhere else at home - don't have to move the arsenal of changing supplies around, and I'm tall so appreciate a lumbar-friendly working height for once.

We never had a cradle/bassinet. We used the bassinet thingy from the pram, either on the floor next to the bed or up in the crib. Thumbs up for portability. I will admit that I want a sidecar for the next one, but I would never get a freestanding mini crib that costs as much as a real crib and will be outgrown in a few months.

I also have the gauze swaddles and we loved them because we didn't have to worry about overheating. We had an early fall baby and when it got cold we just put her duvet over and she was fine.

One totally ridiculous, overpriced widget we definitely used and will use again: a Snuza. So embarrassing. My husband was obsessed with cradle death and literally could not sleep. He got up 5+ times during the night to make sure she was breathing. It was making us both crazy. So I bought the Snuza (a breathing alarm) and sleep was had by all.

With baby #1 we had EVERYTHING. We definitely pared down by the time we got to #5. Here's my two cents:

Breast pump - I rented one from the hospital for 3 months until I knew if nursing was working and pumping was working. I was going back to work after the first one. I had tons of milk and loved nursing, so we invested in a high-end pump, which I used for every baby and then sold on Craig's list. Definitely got my money out of that.

Changing table - we started with one and for space reasons, got rid of it and went with a wide dresser with a padded changing pad on the top. Much better use of space.

High chair - had one, got rid of it with the last two and went with a booster seat with a tray. Easy to strap to any chair. Removeable when guests are coming. Easy to clean and bring with you anywhere. Still have it for babies of friends, siblings, etc.

MY must have item - a baby sling. I hated all the other carriers and this worked best for me. My kids loved being in it until they were toddlers. I had the Nojo sling, but I've also heard great things about the Moby wrap. Lots of great choices out there.

I say get whatever makes you comfortable. If everyone else tells you that the item is "silly" or that "you'll never use it" but you do, and it makes your life easier, use away. I definitely think that technology has been a curse in some ways to society as a whole, but for child safety I'm all for it. When I see another mom using an item that didn't work for me, or that I think is a bit extreme, I try to remind myself that it may work for them. However, if said mom who I think is a little "extreme" tries to hover over my kids at the playground, watch out!

I have gone through 3 diaper bags through the 8 years of babies. My bags were messager type ones which I often wear with the bag part agaisnt my back. I currently have a diaper dude and I use the back outside pocket to hold my wallet. Only need my diaper dude to go shopping.

I love my double cheap graco stroller from Wal-Mart. I even ordered new axles and wheels for it to prepare for baby #4.

I am so lucky that I was given a lot of hand me downs so I didn't go and waste money on bottle warmer, wipe warmer, and diaper genie (all items were thrown out or given away before baby #2.

I love my coach diaper bag, but not for diapers...I use it for work!! All the little elastic pockets are great for holding assorted chargers, clickers, external hard drives, whatever. My laptop fits great even if I have stacks of paper with me too. I wish I'd gotten it long before I had a kid!

As for a diaper bag; I use a backpack or tote bag, anything I can wash when it gets grass/dirt/poop/puke/food on it.

I second the changing table! I try to be generally very minimalist with baby junk, but will never understand how it's possible not to love changing tables. Anyways, I was just going to chime in on the pump advice. I have a Medela that was very generously given to me by my husband's coworker before my first was born. I bought new tubes and new pieces and it cost me ~$40 instead of several hundred. My third is 3 mos old and I've been working (and pumping) part time through all of my kids. I still have that pump and it still works perfectly, even after 5+ years of use. So if you are going to be pumping even on a somewhat regular basis, I highly recommend the Medela and don't be afraid to get one used, you can easily get new tubing and parts.

I love lists like this-it's so interesting to see what works for other people. I was anti-diaper genie so we looked for alternatives and found the diaper dekor...has a foot pedal and you dont have to squash anything down, plus it can use regular trash bags and can be used as a regular trash can in the future...very handy at containing smells too now that little man is eating solids. We just got it last week so I am still in the honeymoon phase I guess. We have used the grocery bag route until now too. Also, I would add that a super simple hand pump is one of my top 3 essential items. The hospital gave me one and it is great. I didnt use the electric pump until I went back to work, but for all the new moms who haven't breastfed yet, having the option (other than hand expressing) is a huge plus if/when you need a break or the baby isn't consuming all that you are producing (especially in the first few weeks.) Last thought-->I never heard that baby sans shoes is considered to be white-trashy (!!) Poor little guy-he's been so unstylish all of his 6.75 months and never even knew it.

My two cents...(kids aged 4, almost 3, almost 2, 9 months and another due in April)

1. I still haven’t figured how to swaddle a baby without using one of those swaddle blankets. I also use sleep sacks since our house is always cold and babies don’t keep blankets on them.

2. I love the diaper genie. We live in the country where there is no normal trash service. We have to take our own trash to the dump normally every two weeks. If we left diapers sitting in the trashcan for two weeks without the use of the diaper genie, we would die by the smell.

3. I got a Bumbo with my first because everyone told me I needed one. I didn’t and don’t. It is rarely used and I will probably give it away.

4. I get diaper bags that look like purses. And actually when kids aren’t with me still use it as my purse.

5. I have 2 changing tables (dresser with changing pad thing on top) in our house. I don’t like having to bend my back over the bed and I like to give my kids some privacy and not let everyone in the house watch while they get their diapers changed. I am actually mean and tell guest who start changing their kid on the floor to please do it in the bedroom with the changing table.

5. I find a crib useless. Our kids sleep in a pack-n-play from day 1 and continue to sleep in it until they are ready for a normal bed.

Battery powered nasal aspirator. Best. thing. ever. Other moms laughed at me but I hooked some ladies up and they all became believers. Be gone bulb syringe! Granted, your child will scream and fight with you but it's worth the struggle to have a dry nose for at least 10 minutes. I think I can safely say, with only slight exaggeration, that the only reason we have a fifth child is because having a battery powered nasal aspirator made raising #4 so much easier.

full disclosure: I occasionally use affiliate links in select posts which means I will make a very small commission if you, the reader, make a purchase after clicking said links. I'm just chasing my big dream of being Simon's sugar mother and I hope you don't mind. Thank you kindly.