Monday, September 29, 2014

I just love watching this cat clip. If it
makes you laugh it is because we tend to laugh at things that are unexpected. The cat opens
its mouth and we expect a “meow” but we hear a “honk” instead.

In the Bible story about Joseph and his brothers, (Genesis 37-45) we
hear Joseph say something we do not expect. Joseph’s brothers sold him into
slavery and then lied to their father. Joseph ended up in prison before God’s
plan for him played out. Joseph was the number two ruler in Egypt when his
brothers came to him for food for their starving families.

We would expect Joseph to say angry things. We would
expect him to deny his brothers food and instead throw them into prison.

But the words that came out of Joseph’s mouth were
words of mercy.

So Joseph said to his brothers,
“Come near to me, please.” And they came near. And he said, “I am your brother,
Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt.And now do not be distressed or angry
with yourselves because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to
preserve life. (Genesis 45:
4-5, ESV)

Because Joseph had forgiveness from
God, he was able to forgive his brothers for the terrible things they did to
him.

You are also forgiven by God and
God can help you to say the unexpected. The next time a brother or sister, or a
classmate, does something mean, let the words thatcome out of your mouth show mercy. Let them
be unexpected. Let your words be kind and forgiving.

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Nearly every parent has experienced relief at
dropping children off at school because it meant a few sweet hours free of
conflict. There are days, sometimes weeks, when siblings seem to be engaged in
a competition to find the most inane topic for argument.

“He looked at me.”

“Her finger is touching my side of the car.”

“She won’t let me . . .”

“He says I can’t . . .”

“Tell her not to . . .”

Or, my personal favorite:

“He’s thinking about hitting me!”

These are just things I remember from my childhood,
I haven’t even started on the phrases my children used that caused my neck
muscles to tense and my temples to throb.

These selfish, sometimes ridiculous spats, are ample
proof that children are sinners living in a sinful world. So what do we do
about the fighting?

Make them play.

Resist the temptation to separate
the combatants. (Unless what they really need most is a nap.) Put away the
electronic devices that keep each child quietly entertained. Send them outside,
or to the playroom. Give them a board game, a ball, or a large cardboard box
and make them play.

Let them play because when they play they learn how
to deal with conflict. Play offers children a unique opportunity to observe,
try solutions, and learn about their feelings in a relatively safe environment.
Some days when I supervised school recess, I wondered if play wasn’t just a series of
small spats interspersed with an occasional good idea. I probably wasn’t too far off in my
evaluation.

When children play they get a chance to acknowledge
(and announce) their feelings. They get to make choices
and see the good and bad consequences. They get to think about alternatives and
learn to make plans. They get to learn how to identify the problem, regulate
emotions, and learn what they can and cannot control. Fighting at home, or on
the playground, teaches them better solutions for social interaction.

Play gives them practice in conflict resolution.

If you find you need to step into a sibling squabble
ask your children to talk to each other and start with this phrase:

I don’t like it when you . . .

Help them to identify feelings and possible
solutions – then let them try the solutions.

As you can see from this verse, even St. Paul had to
deal with tattling and conflict.

For it has been reported to me by
Chloe's people that there is quarreling among you, my brothers.
(I Corinthians 1:11, ESV)

God will bless you and your
children in play, prayer, and patience.

And the Lord's servantmust not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently
enduring evil,correcting his opponents with gentleness.
(II Timothy 2: 24-25a, ESV)

Here is a great article that talks more about the
benefit of play and conflict resolution skills.