I quit work and stayed home to raise my children. Very frowned upon during the time I chose to do this in USA in the late 80s/early 90s. Nearly all the other women my age or younger with children chose to work. It was hard being one of the few who chose to stay home/was lucky enough to be able to make that choice, even though I had a graduate degree.

I didn't go back to work as planned after ds#2 reached 1st grade due to health issues on my part, so have been home now for 23 years.

Sometimes I still feel like the odd man out when people ask "What do you do?"

They seem to assume I am lazy or not very bright.

Ah, well.

Whatever you decide to do, continue with your current occupation or change careers, good luck!

I'm a stay at home mom. Most people don't consider it a job and sometimes (when people ask what I do) I feel embarrassed when I tell them I stay home full time with our son. My husband works and makes enough money to support us. WE have decided it would be best for me to stay home and raise our son rather than putting him in daycare (not that there is anything wrong with that). I just feel like people judge me, but it could all be in my head.

Actually I'm from Canada and you're right. It's one of the jobs with best pension plan behind the Big 3 (I used to work for one). Though a lot of money gets deducted from the salary unlike the Big 3 for benefits and pension. I can't complain about the pay because I know the teachers in the US don't make nearly as much. My older sister makes around $98k/year with 12 years in but I make less due to a lot less seniority and substituting starts at $200/day. Though I don't think it has anything to do with pay but the perception of teaching. I mean there are tons of lazy a** teachers because of the lack of accountability so that doesn't help. It's simply not a status kind of career according to a lot of Asians. Even my father thinks it's brainless work unless if you teach high school. I used to teach spec. ed. and believe me that definitely did not meet the approval rate! Most of my parents' friends were disgusted when they found out my brother decided to pursue a career in visual arts! lol That's really not an Asian thing to do but now they "approve" because he was promoted to Art Director for a large advertising agency. I believe it has little to do with how much money you make compared to the perception that the career has, i.e. in general doctors receive a lot more respect and admiration from society than teachers.

Your family sounds a lot like my ex's. They are Middle Eastern, not Asian but have the same attitude ( unless you are a doctor or lawyer you aren't respected, smart, whatever)

I can tell you, that not everyone in society respects doctors or lawyers more than teachers..it's just some families that think that way so don't feel that society as a whole has a similar mindset because they don't.

OP I just re read your post because I skimmed over it last time..don't even worry about your job impacting your ability to find a "decent" man.

A man who begrudges your ability to set your own hours and have a decent lifestyle ( good money and lots of free time) is not someone you want to be with.
There is nothing morally wrong with working at a casino late at night where alcohol is served. Even if there are seedy characters around so what. Your job and the type of people you work with does not define you.

Also, you mention that you worry about not having a place in society or that you aren't contributing to society.

There are plenty of people in professions who do more harm to society than good. Lawyers who get guilty people off, doctors who don't take proper care of their patients, mechanics who deliberately rip people off etc. All of these people have their place in society ( think about where we would be without doctors, lawyers and mechanics ) But you have to remember that just because they have a PURPOSE in society, it doesn't automatically mean that they are doing more good that harm ( lawyers getting criminals off is harmful)

So I say as long as you aren't harming others,you are better than many people out there.

I have a Bachelor's degree and left the workforce to become a SAHM. When my youngest child was in preschool, I was very involved. In his final year of preschool, their 2 year-old teacher quit unexpectedly. They offered me the position and I accepted it. Even though I enjoyed the job, I couldn't help but feel like I was essentially a daycare worker, which can be looked down upon. I guess the bottom line is that as long as you are doing what makes you happy, then you need to find ways to deal with attitudes/beliefs of others. If you are truly happy, then don't let others dictate what may or may not be the "right" thing to do.

I'm a cashier at a grocery store. I'm 20 and i do it as a part time job while i'm in school. It's a typical job for a student but it is looked down upon if you're an older person working this type of job. People just assume you're uneducated, etc. I'm close with many of my older coworkers. One in particular is this very smart, educated woman. She went to university and everything. I always wondered how she got stuck working here for so long. She basically said she started here when she was young as a part timer, got married, had kids and never had a chance to break out and do something else, she kinda got stuck. She never intended to be here aslong as she has, sometimes things just happen. My grocery store in particular is a pretty great place to work. People assume that if you're working the front lines you're making minimum wage but that's not always true. People at my chain who've been there for a while make 20-25$ an hour and have full healthcare benefits, paid vacations, etc.

My point is that you should never judge someone or assume things about them based on their job. I work in a "rich" neighbourhood and many of the customers have a very snotty, "im better than everyone" attitude. My co worker is happily married with 2 beautiful kids, makes 25$ an hour, has full health care benefits, paid vacations and a full university education. I'd say she has it pretty good for a "grocery store cashier." She probably has it better than a lot of people in "respected" fields. That just shows you that you can't judge someone by their job.

Yep, I'm an "Executive Assistant" and many people look down upon it...especially when you're 35+!!! Even some other admins that I work with are like "oh we're just secretary's". I'm also in school for my bachelors but I still have that feeling of "I dont know what I want to be when I grow up", I've been trying to find out what my passion is/what am I here for and I just realized that it may not be something that I'll get paid to do. I don't hate my job and I work for a great group and make pretty good money, more then some of my friends with degrees so...

In the past as a waitress I always felt looked down on, now as a supervisor I still do to an extent, mainly because of the pay and how terrible it is. I could do something else with less responsibility with higher pay...why am I doing this again??

I'm in my late twenties and I've been thinking about my life and future and feeling kind of depressed. I went to a top university for undergrad but while I was there I got into the game of poker. Since then, I've been a "professional gambler" for the last 4 years and I've been fairly successful at it. I set my own hours, I have tons of freedom, and I make okay money (average ~$50/hour). However, I know my parents are ashamed of me, and people I meet seem to mock, judge, or look down on me. To be clear, there's nothing illegal about what I do. I simply go to the casino and play a game in which I am better than most people at, and I make money from that. I don't cheat, hustle, or do anything shady. I pay my taxes, I live sensibly (I consider myself a good, honest person and I don't party, do drugs, have promiscuous sex) and I've been saving money. Yet I often look back on my life with regret and wish I'd done something more meaningful and respected. I think my main issue is feeling like I don't have a place in society and that others don't respect me because of what I do. I grew up with some kind of an inferiority complex and had wanted to be something prestigious to compensate, until I got sidetracked.

I guess the point of my post is to see if anyone here can relate or offer a new perspective. I really don't know what kind of responses I will get because my situation seems unusual. Sometimes I feel like I can relate to a stripper due to the fact that we both have jobs that are looked down on that involves being around seedy places (casinos, strips clubs) at late hours. Except that I use my brain/skills to make money, so it's probably viewed more positively. I worry that a nice, decent man will not want to be with me because of what I do.

Perhaps to broaden the scope of the discussion how do you cope with feeling like you are not respected in society, or to be in a job you are stuck in? That is how I have been feeling, and it makes me feel inadequate and depressed. I know if I'd work hard when I was in college, I could have become what I wanted (doctor, vet, etc.) but now that I am almost 30 I feel stuck.

You just need some perspective to be able to reject the negativity around you. Just because you go to college, it doesn't guarantee you'll have a job nor have a job you'll love.

You've been successful at playing poker. You're a natural mathematician and have a talent for pattern recognition and memory. You're an entrepreneur and own your own business. That is something to be proud of. If you want to do something meaningful and respectful (w/ your spare free time), look into volunteering or start a non-profit. *I'm saying to use your spare time to do this. Not quit your current job/business of playing poker.

I was a bartender for 3 years, which I loved in the beginning but became very unhappy with in the end.
Yes, its fast money and easy, but the the customers i dealt with just drove me into misery. While my friends were going into grad schools, becoming a RN, making big bucks as engineers, I was serving drinks to a bunch of ill-mannered local drunks. Needless to say my job became an embarrasement.
Last December I finally quit and packed up and moved to Japan to "start over". I have been working as a technical translator and truly feel happy with what I am doing.

It's very easy to get sidetracked, this is life stuff happens, we all must learn to adapt. There is nothing wrong with what you do, no reason for you to have an inferiority complex but I do know how you feel and I understand. I have a college degree and was surprised to find out the semester I was graduating that I was prego. Obviously I had to change my life plans because I had no intention of putting my baby in day care (nothing wrong with it just a personal issue) anyways I got into the family business of property management which I can do from home, I'm also a licensed realtor so that provides me with additional spending money, and I tutor students in Korea online. Not exactly the "careers" I had envisioned for myself but I make okay money and I can stay home with my son. However, even though we adapt to the changes life brings us, I think that it is important that we continue to always better ourselves, whether that be through education, skills, hobbies, volunteering whatever......I think we learned a lot from this economy and it's important to always be able to adapt. So just because you're gambling now don't limit yourself to only that "always be on the lookout for new and better possibilities" (this is what my dad always tells me).

I don't work, I'm a college student. I study Classics. It's a very interesting field, which helped me expand my knowledge about world's history. Plus, I was always into languages, history and literature, so I knew ever since I went to middle school I was going to study something literature-related.

The main job option I have, in my country, is teaching in middle-school / high-school. Unfortunately, though, teaching is not considered a "high-class" profession.

Most of my family and family friends suggest that I should not become a teacher... They think it doesn't suit my social status!!! LOL

The truth is I come from a family of really educated people. My father has a PhD in Economics/Banking, has worked as a university professor, both in my country and in the US, was in the boards of major world-wide organisations and banks, was into politics (minister) etc. He is very revered in his field. That's why most of our friends think I should do something more with my life, like pursuing my dad's career and following his footsteps.

The truth is I'm pretty OK with becoming a teacher. Sure, I'm not going to make much money, but I don't really care about that. The first thing I look in a job is to fullfill me as a person.I don't care about the status or the money. All I want is self-fullfillment. Besides, I hate stress, so I could never have my dad's carrer - waaaaaay too stressfull.