Lies, Damn Lies, and the Eldar

Is there anything more insidious and loathsome than the lies of the alien?

We don?t think so.

So today, we?re here to educate you on the perils of heeding the word of the xenos ? specifically the perfidious Eldar.

We’ve been hearing some worrying rumours of late, that some Guardsmen actually believe that the so-called “Seers” of the Eldar can predict the future, through some form of psychic-witchery of ?far-sight? ? that by some ?sorcery? the eldar can throw a few runic tokens into the air, and be given insight into events yet to pass.

Such a belief, is of course, ludicrous.

While there is evidence that the Eldar may have some minor and unfocused psychic ability, studies by the Adeptus Mechanicus xeno-linguistic-statisticians have analysed multiple Eldar prophecies, and found them to be less accurate than pure guesswork!

The Eldar can no more read the future than an ork can count past his number of fingers or a Carnifex can whistle*.

As the Imperial Creed teaches us, only the Holy God-Emperor has ever seen the future of the galaxy, and He used that knowledge to guide the creation of the glorious Imperium we all serve, and that has endured for 10,000 years of prosperity and triumph. Sometimes He grants fragments of His divine wisdom to devout Imperial servants through the Emperor?s Tarot.

To suggest that a xenos mind could predict and comprehend the future in the same way ? or that the beloved Emperor would stoop to granting future knowledge to such creatures ? is nothing short of heresy!

In contrast, Eldar seers are little more than primitive shamans, casting bits of broken bone in the hope of divining reason. They are deluded charlatans, peddlers of trite tales and ominous whispers. Indeed, their ornate attire serves no purpose other than to befuddle their audience, drawing attention from their empty, meandering words. Armed with ridiculous bone-weaponry, and unable to craft the mighty blades carried by the Emperor?s Space Marines and the righteous captains from our own humble ranks, these eldar are simple, ritualistic beings, hoping to scare you with their barbaric nonsense. Do not be humbled! Disciplined las-fire will cleave through their bodies as surely as a true son of the Emperor sees through their lies.

Now that we have dispersed the mystique surrounding these Eldar shamans, you need dwell on them no further. If by chance you do hear more talk about eldar prophecies, or overhear one of your squadmates talking about the paths of the future and the end of days, you should immediately report them to your Regimental Commissar, who will induct both them and you into a special re-education program**.

As you were, trooper.

Thought for the Day:

?Rumours are naught but lies given shape by the foolish tongues of the ignorant. Ignorance begets heresy. Heresy begets retribution.?

*If you do hear a Carnifex apparently begin whistling, it is in fact building up a bio-plasma blast. We would recommend taking cover.