Author
Topic: When Is It Okay To Call Out A Rude Person? Ever? (Read 13960 times)

In this case for you and your cousin looking the person up and down - Icy somewhat condescending stare (think pro league mean girl look that says who let this trash in here) turn heal and leave.

I think the bystanders' murmmers were great. If you had been a bystander and the woman continued and Icy - excuse me some of us are going back to finish our meals so stop. Followed by no really stop, no really stop, said in a combination icy mean girl with a hint of fed up teacher.

I think some types of rude behavior scream out to be called out - because people are being hurt. I will not stand by and let someone verbally abuse another person. To many people stood by and let me be bullied. I won't be that person.

This reminds me of an article by Cornelia Otis Skinner, who said she had a freind called Maybelle, ("of whom it could be said she was so honest it hurt") who looked at Cornelia one day when they were wearing swimming costumes and said "Goodness your chest is bony, it looks just like the slats of a Venetian blind"

I know as mentioned that it isn't good to engage the crazy, but sometimes there's the urge to return with the crazy yourself. Such as for this instance, a dream reply would be something like, (while leaning a little towards the woman and audibly sniffing), "Oh, you smell nice. We all should follow that example. Well, tootles!" And beat it out of there.

Seriously, I doubt I'd know what to say to something as what was said to your cousin. The icy glare and moving on is a good idea. I'm glad you received a back up of sorts by the others there.

My first thought was, well, at least Cousin quietly expelled waste where it belonged, rather than loudly claiming someone else had left the smell...but saying such to Crazy Lady would have engaged the crazy.

Logged

“A real desire to believe all the good you can of others and to make others as comfortable as you can will solve most of the problems.” CS Lewis

I have to agree that a blank, confused stare at most is usually second best to doing nothing. If you're in a situation, like a conversation, where it seems to be expected that you will say something, the eHell recommended quiet "... Wow." is good.

Exception: as others have noted, if someone is being hurt or bullied and you can stop it, or if someone else has been targeted by a bigoted remark that needs to be addressed -- but even then, as calmly and politely as possible (you want to end the situation on a better note, not letting the cruelty be the last word, but you do want to END it, not ramp it up).

In my experience, when someone says or does something so utterly over the top as this -- like, it takes a moment to register in your own mind, "Wow, she really did say that!" -- it's very often someone with dementia or some other psychiatric problem. No point in confronting someone like that.