Date Quentin? I’d rather Kill Bill

Kill Bill director Quentin Tarantino is denying rumours that he’s been seeing the star of the film UMA THURMAN since her break-up with husband Ethan Hawke (probably not as strenuously as Uma is though).

“I’m not saying that we haven’t and I’m not saying that we have,” he says, ambiguously discussing his relationship with the actress.

“We love each other but we’re almost too close now to be a couple. We had our life together on Kill Bill. It was like a marriage in every way.” Yes, apart from not having sex, living together, making plans for the future... in effect, being married.

Meanwhile Thurman is still dating hotelier Andre Balazs. Hmmmn. Seems to be some discrepancy between fiction and reality here Quentin.

A disparity between what you think/want to happen and what actually has.

And I hate to be shallow about this, but let’s have a look at the evidence. Beautiful, tortured ‘I think I’m fat when I clearly could do with a good feed’ Uma is a catch for any man. You, Quentin, are an overweight, sweaty-looking, nerdy film geek who, if you weren’t famous, would make most women run a mile. No offence.