January 9, 2013

An Intelligent Design Throwdown

My friend John Zande over at the Superstitious Naked Ape Blog (check him out at thesuperstitiousnakedape.wordpress.com) wrote a wonderful piece this morning about giving a global stage to the desires of the Intelligent Design crowd. (IDers are anti-evolutionary biblical creationists in new clothing.) His idea was to give them a global stage to get their mojo on so everyone could see what they have to offer (a kind of creationist’s carnival) then have their curriculum (sic) and textbooks (sic) compete in the open market.

His idea stimulated me into thinking this: what if we just gave them what they want? They want Intelligent Design Theory (aka the Book of Genesis) to be taught as a competing theory to the Theory of Evolution as it is known today.

So, let’s give them what they want.

Can you imagine what would happen if the Genesis creation myth were actually taught in science classrooms. (Be wary, wary careful what you ask for! He, he, he.) Can you imagine the questions young minds will come up with? Like . . . how come there was light before the sun was created? How could they tell what a day was before the Earth was created? Was it 24 hours? How come there are two accounts (Gen. 1 and Gen. 2) and they are different? How come they think the Sun travels around the Earth? Who made god then? How come Adam and Eve had belly buttons when they were made and not born? Does that make them like cyborgs? If god is perfect, how come the first two people he creates were so flawed?

And . . . do I hafta believe this stuff to be a Christian?

Christian children would be becoming atheists in droves. Think of it . . . real progress and some sorely needed comic relief in our science classrooms.

The Curmudg, as I respectfully call him, argues that we should not engage the ID/Creationism crowd as there is no upside. I think, though, that there is an upside to humiliating them, shaming them for preferring wishful thinking over reality. These are the same folks that see Jesus as the saviour of all, except of course, the people born for the first 4000 years of their 6000 year life span of the planet. They deserve to be brought out in the light of day and mocked if necessary.

Now I say this as one who prefers a gentle approach. As a teacher I know that humiliating people is not a good teaching technique. But when ordinary methods fail, some sort of shock treatment seems in order.

These people prefer to stand back and try to poke holes in the methodology of evolutionary science, but they are loathe to express their “competing theory.” They use subterfuge like “ID” instead of “Creation,” claim that teaching ID is a matter of academic freedom; it is not. Academic freedom is a protection of academics for being punished for one’s political beliefs, not for malfeasance or dereliction of duty for not teaching to the syllabus or course outline. Teaching nonsense is none of these things and yet they persist.

In the immortal words of Sophie Tucker, Mae West, and Bette Midler “Fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke!”

@John Zande: Don’t take it down, just rework it a bit and post something new.

One of the frequent participants on the Curmudgeon’s blog frequently presses the point that we should ALWAYS demand a full explanation for anything that claims to be Creation Science. They simply cannot do this without their theories collapsing under the increasingly obvious flaws.