Tuesday, November 09, 2010

Junior writes a book!

Junior wrote a book! Everybody hurry down to Walmart and snag one of those big Crayola Crayon Classic Color-Packs before they sell out!

Right on the heels of the Big Red Wave (which we utterly rejected in Oregon) Junior Bush has decided to emerge from his Texas sh*thole to peddle a brand new book. I'm afraid I won't be reading it myself; I've been awfully busy channel surfing and contemplating cob webs. But his pugnacious, irascible remarks announcing the book in the various media serve to confirm my opinion that Junior is a deluded, out-of-touch plutocrat.

Here're a couple nuggets I've gleaned from the "interwebs:"

Junior's feelings were hurt when Kanye West, in the midst of the post-Katrina disaster in New Orleans, suggested that "George Bush doesn't care about black people." Junior says it was an "all-time low" in his "presidency." Not 911, mind you; nor when David Kay released his report confirming that the WMD ruse in Iraq was a lie; nor when the national financial system teetered on collapse. The all-time low of Junior's presidency (according to himself) was when Kanye West hurt his feelings by saying something mean about him. (Well, at the very least, the man is capable of regret.)

When Junior was a teenager, he said his mother showed him a fetus she had just miscarried. The Calgary Herald reports: "'I never expected to see the remains of the fetus, which she had saved in a jar to bring to the hospital,' Bush writes. The former U.S. president told [Matt] Lauer 'there's no question that affected me, a philosophy that we should respect life.'" Respect life, President War-monger? How utterly insulting to the thousands who have died in his wars!

Junior claims that Big Dick offered to withdraw from the presidential ticket in 2004. According to the New York Times: “The president resented the caricature that Mr. Cheney really controlled the White House. 'Accepting Dick’s offer [to resign] would be one way to demonstrate that I was in charge,' he writes." I suppose it is plausible that arch-villain Cheney might have made that offer. But I have to imagine he made it while hunching foward, cocking an eyebrow and affixing Junior with his daunting Dark Lord gaze: "George, if you want, I'll leave... If you're sure that's what you want..." Who can blame Junior if he chickened out?

Four years later, as he prepared to leave the White House, Junior says he was worried that the rift between himself and Cheney over a pardon for convicted felon Scooter Libby might poison their sacred friendship. But now, according to the Raw Story, Junior is "'... pleased to report we are [still friends]. I was a little concerned at one time.'" Let's see what Big Dick says about it in his upcoming memoirs.

God knows who are the benighted souls that might imagine Junior's whining and sniveling would make for good reading. But the book is hitting the shelves today.