Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Great Canadian Pick Up Lines

Obviously, the greatest Canadian pick up line is a case of Molson Canadian, or a Two-Four as we call it in Canada. Don't worry, you wouldn't understand. Two-Four is a measurement of the metric system.

Entre Nous: They're actually serving Molson Canadian on Molson Candian night again, which is a welcome relief considering it hadn't been available for three weeks.

But I digress. The latest Molson Canadian gimmick is to offer great Canadian pick up lines on the back label. "I'm cold just thinking about Canada. Let's Cuddle." is a good one, but "I'm a man who drinks beer from an Awesome Land. Need I say more?" is even better, but I was too drunk to take a good picture because I was about six Canadians in at this point celebrating its long overdue return. The irony is that whenever I'm in Canada picking up hotties, the most successful pickup line I have is "I'm American."

Perhaps most riveting and yet most haunting about the entire episode is that despite the return of Molson Canadian and despite the fact that it was a happy hump day, Summers was deader than my love life.

Speaking of picking up, Hey Sonny - somebody fell out of their wheelchair again in the Red Room lavatory. Can you see to it, please? This'll give you a good chance to test out that new harness you rigged up in there. But watch your back because the other day there was some leather-clad stranger at the bar asking what the deal is with the "hot lookin' pulley toy" and mentioned, since there's no lock on the door, that "anyone could just walk right in."