Dear Sir I write this note to you to tell you of me' plightFor at the time of writing I am not a pretty sightMe body is all black and blueMe face a deathly greyAnd I write this note to tell you why I'm not at work today

While working on the fourteenth floor, some bricks I had to clearBut to toss them down from such a height was not a good ideaThe foreman wasn't very pleased, he is an awkward sodHe said I'd have to cart them down the ladders in me hod

Now shifting all those bricks by hand it was so very slowSo I hoisted up a barrel and secured a rope belowBut in me haste to do the job I was to blind to seeThat a barrel full of building bricks is heavier than me

And so when I untied the rope the barrel fell like leadAnd clinging tightly to the rope I started up insteadI shot up like a rocket til' to my dismay I foundThat half way up I met the bloody barrel comin' down

Now the barrel broke me shoulder, as to the ground it spedAnd when I reached the top I banged the pulley with me headI clung on tightly numb with shock from this almightly blowAnd the barrel spilled out half the bricks fourteen floors below

Now when these bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floorI then outweighed the barrel and so started down once moreStill clinging tightly to the rope my body racked with painHalf way down I met the bloody barrel once again

Now the force of this collision halfway down the office blockCaused multiple contusions and nasty state of shockStill clinging tightly to the rope I fell toward the groundAnd landed on the broken bricks the barrel had scattered round

Well I lay there groaning on the ground I thought I'd past the worstBut the barrel hit the pulley wheel and then the bottom burstA shower of bricks rained down on me I didn't have a hopeFor as I lay there bleeding I let go of the bloody rope

The barrel being unsecured then started down once moreAnd it landed right across me as I lay there on the floorIt broke three ribs and my left arm and I can only sayThat I hope you'll understand why Murphy's not at work today...