Eva Longoria is not pregnant again.

I attended a lot of Sunday services while reporting a story about the changing role of the black church.

I don’t know if any of that churching stuck. I’m still smoking, drinking, and taking the Lord’s name in vain, but every once in a while, I stop and think about it and feel pretty badly about my behavior. And that makes me smoke, drink and take the Lord’s name in vain even more, so I guess it’s a wash.

Maybe it’s the Internet that’s making me crazy.

If you can’t trust gossip, what’s left?

I wasted some perfectly good tasteless jokes last week on the remote chance that tabloids and blood-sucking show biz bloggers were right about Eva Longoria. Based solely on a barely noticeable bump, those numbskulls guessed that the Desperate Housewives” star/wife of Spurs player Tony Parker was pregnant. And it turns out that Eva Longoria is not pregnant.

And, as promised, here’s my misplaced-and-righteous indignation…

Old Media takes a tire iron to New Media

What is this world coming to when you can’t trust the half-baked assumptions of a bunch of uninformed hacks who leech off of the fame of others? Why would anyone (cough, page views, cough) resort to making up this stuff (cough, page views, cough) or, even worse, repeating (cough, page views, cough) anything so badly sourced and reported?

If this was wrong, what else on the Internet is wrong? Has Lindsay Lohan not “changed teams?” Does Paris Hilton really wear underwear? I suppose all of that stuff about those twits on “Laguna Beach” and “American Idol” is bogus, right? At this rate, Barack Obama won’t be a Muslim extremist by next week. And that’s a fine “how do you do,” isn’t it?

Elsewhere:

“Big Mac with extra pineapple. Hold the volcanic ash.”

McDonalds’ restaurants in Hawaii using an El Paso call center to be the “voices” of their drive-thru windows. The companies say it saves time and money. I say it lets McDonalds screw up an order and then get away with it. KITV