These are but vain attempts to express, by one who wears her heart on her sleeve. Words, much like love, can be ever elusive... ever frustrating... like trying to paint a million stories on a single canvass. If you will read, please do not ask. Just feel. Or at least try to. The meaning is, whatever you have felt to be there, or the lack thereof :)

I have written you letters before -- letters about missing you, and also about hating you as well. For the longest time, you were just a flicker of light that barely survived my dark, insecure thoughts. Regardless how dim however, you remained to be there, flickering yet steady and true. So what's the point of writing you now, after all these years of silence? Is this just about plain missing you yet again?

Yes, I miss you everyday. I only survive by nurturing the truth that I am a child of God, loved by Him, that He will not allow it that I spend my short eternity with but half of my angel's wing. He knows I need you. He knows just how greatly the Universe will benefit once we have found each other.

I am currently in the middle of yet another adventure -- a journey that I pray will last throughout my many, many lifetimes, allowing me to share so much happiness and blessings. So far the things that I'm learning, and the people that I have been spending this journey with, have all been amazing. It makes me feel that you're not so far off now. My heart sings just thinking how greatly loved can I still possibly be, when it already has a tendency to be overwhelmed every now and then with the joyful discovery of these new friendships.

I think you are almost here. Not a prince among men, nor a gallant knight, but simply my best friend, my protector, and the other beautiful half of the best I'm yet to be. It doesn't matter any more if I'm paying attention once you're already here. You will find a way to help me see. And Love, yet again, will find a new meaning, not just for me but for the many lives I'll be blessed enough to share it with, when I already am rightfully home with you. Finally. Blissfully. Completely.

Love, in truth, I have nothing to lose
Cause I had everything, even when I never had you
For when you came and inspired this heart,
The world was made brighter, and it infinitely grew
So even if now, you run in fear
The sparks inside will reach out and find you
To become warmth, become light,
become truest affection dispersing darkness,
embracing all of, and the best that is, you.

am looking past the shadows of my mindinto the truth and I'm trying to identify the voices in my head ... "God, which one's you?"Let me feel one more time what it feels like to feelAnd break these calluses off me, one more time