I met my now ex-boyfriend through mutual friends. We went on a couple of dates, and months after meeting him, I allowed him to stay at my place after he was kicked out of his home.

Prior to this, we spent every day together, we had some form of bond. At least that’s what I thought.

He began to open up to me about his past when he was a child. That’s what drew me to him. He allowed me to see him at his most vulnerable state, the side I know for a fact no one has ever seen.

Fast forward, approximately one year later. My family has left the state, and now I’m all alone, just he and I. He began showing signs of hatred towards me. The physical abuse came out of nowhere. He smacked me in my face because he saw a guy text my phone. After that moment, he broke up with me.

He went on to say he has never put his hands on a female before, and since he felt the need for this one time, he doesn’t feel comfortable and is afraid he may do it again. Eventually, he came back, explained being apart from me made him sick to his stomach. He couldn’t eat, sleep, or concentrate. (So he says)

Down the line, he began having infidelity issues. It was as if I couldn’t have a voice. I explained how I felt about things, and he will tell me to shut up or to get over it. Whenever I tried to leave, he would blow my phone up, create a billion ways to communicate with me, apologize, cry (literal tears), and eventually, I was just won over.

I had a super soft spot for him, and looking back, he knew it and used it against me. A family friend molested me, and none of my family members believed me. My innocence was taken from me. He knew all of this.

After the physical abuse came, as did the verbal. He would throw it in my face and say if I wasn’t immoral, to begin with, maybe I wouldn’t have gone through that. I graduated high school late. I was taking care of myself and providing a roof over my head. Without any form of intellect on delayed gratification, I neglected school and focused on slaving at a 9-5.

My ex-boyfriend was very flashy. He spoke down to me for not having nice things, not being a social butterfly, basically calling me out for everything I wasn’t. I was nothing he was accustomed too. I never understood how a person could hate me so much but refuse to let me leave his life.

Our fights grew severe. I was hospitalized twice. He fractured my finger. He violated my body in so many ways (not sexual). The first time he blacked, my eye was because I slept with my back turned to him. I was going to work, and I left without saying bye to him. He came outside of the house and dragged me back in. He dragged me all the way back into the bedroom and threw me onto the bed. He is 6’1, and I’m 4’11. He has more than enough power over me.

I honestly don’t know how to sum up the relationship we had. I’m simply searching for someone who can just hear me, relate, and give advice. No one in my family believes mental instability exists. It’s viewed as being “soft.” This man truly broke me.

I lost two babies because of the stress he put my body through. Day after day, I continuously hate myself for not leaving for my future child and me. He makes me feel so low as a woman as if I can’t do anything right. I know I can but, I guess because I’m in complete shock hearing the words come from him. I don’t know what to do with myself.

We broke up last year, and this past year he’s made my life hell. I can’t sleep, I’m having health issues from the stress. My physical appearance shows signs of depression. My skin isn’t as glowy as it used to be. My weight is up and down, I cry myself to sleep every night, and I don’t sleep until maybe 4-5 am. I’m 22 years old.

I went through this since I was 17 until I was 21. I understand I am young, and I have more than enough time on my hands, but going through this has traumatized me. I don’t respond well to people in general, and I distanced myself from EVERYONE. Not a single friend I am in contact with. He controlled everything I did.

I found this forum today just seeking people who can understand me. Putting my emotions into words is a bit hard for me. This isn’t even half of what I endured being with him. I feel ugly, useless, and worthless. At a point in time, he made me feel I deserved everything he did to me.

I honestly don’t know how to feel or how to continue on. Every day I wish the pain would stop. It doesn’t. And the thought of ending it myself has crossed my mind more than it should have.

Hi. It was truly a very good decision to write an anonymous post on this website seeking support.

Due to the uncomfortable and disruptive feelings of trauma and having to deal with the crippling after-effects of having to the nightmarish experience of (luckily) surviving a toxic intimate relationship with both a physically and emotionally abusive male.

I can relate and have lived through (and luckily survived) domestic violence, terrible emotional abuse. The WONDERFUL news is that your relationship with this pathetic, abusive, poor excuse of a “man” is OVER!! And you are SO young! You are truly blessed.

Now, you have the total and fabulous freedom of exploring, and also deciding what your hobbies and passions are, what you’d like to do professionally, and you can also make plans regarding the type of life you’d like to lead in the near future! NO LONGER do you have to be subjected to a nasty, hateful, misogynistic, abusive, cruel, violent, sexist, hurtful, insecure, oppressive waste of space “ex-boyfriend!” YOU are NOW 100% FREE!

I am deeply sorry that this evil piece of garbage made you lose 2 of your babies. That is beyond horrendous. Abusive men all love and gain sick “power” from slowly eroding and destroying their EX victim’s (us) self-esteem by continuing to break us down with both powerful and extremely vicious insults that hurt us to the very depths of our souls.

Most of these “men” are undiagnosed narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths and are very, very dangerous people to have in our lives. They are very sick and demented individuals who will always only genuinely care for themselves and obtaining what THEY desire. PLEASE, take a very important moment and process this: practice training yourself today to forget EVERY SINGLE negative and hateful put down your ex said to you.

All of them are LIES, untrue, and only were said to you to destroy your self-esteem, so you felt as though you DID deserve his brutal physical and emotional abuse and neglect. The fact is that YOU DID NOT. NO woman does. I’ve lived through terrible physical and mental abuse as well, and I remember feeling so horrific that I was seriously considering suicide, taking my own life.

WE CAN NOT give our spiritual power and strength over to these evil “men” who are themselves, SO incredibly WEAK that they have to resort to hurting us WOMEN to feel a very tiny ounce of good about themselves!! You and I are on this Earth for a reason, and you have the gift of youth. You and I are SURVIVORS.

The human spirit CAN and WILL heal in time. Make people EARN your trust, never tell people your personal, detailed business, be selective regarding who you let into your life, always protect yourself, and do not accept or tolerate anyone disrespecting, abusing, or talking down to you.

Save money for your future, plan a successful life for yourself, including obtaining and working towards a lucrative career, etc.

Be INDEPENDENT always — independence and money equal total FREEDOM. I wish you the best of luck in life! Stay strong! Anything is possible; just be smart, careful, and don’t be too naively fast to trust human beings. You’ll always be able to rely on YOURSELF:) Get and remain EMPOWERED and LIBERATED!!

Hi, I am very sorry for what you have been through. I started suffering from terrible anxiety this year, related to past trauma.

I went on an anti-depressant for a while but found the side-effects too much.

So I started looking for alternative treatments that I would like to recommend to you. They have helped immensely. I feel like I am stronger than ever and working through my painful past experiences. I really cannot recommend enough!

The first is the MIR-Method. It seems almost silly to think it can work, but it does.

The second I would like to recommend is EFT tapping. There is plenty of info on both these methods online. It is super easy and effective.

The third that I would like to recommend is crystal therapy. You can buy crystal jewelry or carry polished stones in a little pouch with you. If you would like to try it, then just look into cleansing and charging your crystals also.

Dear Finding Myself, I married at 18 to the man who I thought would cherish me and love me protect me and provide for me.

I was naive innocent and inexperienced he was streetwise and five years older. He abused me for 23 years; there was physical, emotional, mental, and financial abuse. I tried escaping 13 times, but he’d always use emotional abuse and the children till I returned.

I ended up hating him; he made me feel useless, stupid inadequate. My eldest son got me to leave. I was then 42 and on anti-depressants and walked around with my head down, feeling worthless. My first therapy Hypnotherapy unbelievably life-changing!

I started playing the guitar taking courses in Massage, stress relief, Crystal healing, meridian therapy, and I’m a qualified Hypnotherapist! I’m a Spiritual Healer for the Spiritual Church. I’m intelligent and respected by colleagues and friends and very proud of my children, ages 36,37,39 and 42. We are very close, and they are doing well.

I’m 62 now and looking for my forever love. I’ve never let anyone ever treat me with any disrespect I have come along way, and living without the trauma the stress the pain and anxiety are blissful, and I’ve learned to love myself!

You, my dear, are very young, and if you seek the therapy’s that the people above and myself have taken, you will recover fully, and you will reach for the stars and opportunities are plentiful.

My daughter, three years ago, age 33, and along with a toddler, went back to University and got her degree. If she can do it at her age with a child, then you can do it too.

Your life is just beginning the worlds full of exciting, interesting wonders there for you to explore, discover, and learn.

You can go and help with charities and help people in 3 rd world countries you have endless possibilities you will find what your good at and become who you really are.

The Opinions on this website are only those of individual users. Nothing on this website should be taken as financial, medical or legal advice.

Always seek the help of a qualified professional.

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