The Buffoonery Surrounding Ebola

If you see this virus, report immediately to the Center for Disease Confusion

Unless you’ve been living on another planet you’ve heard about the deadly Ebola virus. The media keeps showing us this same picture like it’s a Wanted poster. This is how we’re going to stop Ebola’s spread, by each of us being on constant look-out for the blue stained spaghetti. Whenever we’re perusing tiny stuff with our electron microscope and we stumble across it, we need to contact the CDC immediately.

We’re lucky Ebola isn’t like the Andromeda Strain or we would all be dead in America, thanks to our government.

Let’s review the buffoonery:

Thomas Duncan flies to Dallas infected with Ebola. He lies on his “honor system” airport screening paperwork about contact with an Ebola victim. (This is another example of our excellent vetting process.) He dies.

The CDC Director Head Buffoon claims “any” hospital can care for Ebola patients. “Ebola is hard to catch,” he asserts.

Here the dudes are at Duncan’s apartment using a high pressure water sprayer to ensure the deadly virus is spread evenly throughout the complex (This is an actual photo of the workers at Duncan’s apartment)

The CDC sends a crack team of specialists in infection control a couple dudes to clean up the apartment complex where Duncan projectile vomited. In the first days of cleanup no one wears protective gear.

The CDC politely asks Duncan’s family to quarantine themselves for three weeks. The family roams around, and the kids go to school.

Two nurses get Ebola from Duncan. The CDC says it doesn’t know how or why they contracted Ebola, but don’t worry, “We’ve got this under control.”

The CDC gives one of the infected nurses the go ahead to fly to Ohio knowing she’s symptomatic because, hey, she probably doesn’t have it. Now the CDC has to track hundreds of people who’ve possibly been infected by her.

A lab worker who handled Duncan’s Ebola infected specimens is allowed to board a cruise ship. The ship gets stuck off the Coast of Mexico after Belize and Mexico won’t let it dock.

This is the Walter White Making Meth costume. It offers better protection than the “Ebola Kits” the CDC passed out

What’s required for a lab worker who deals with a Level 4 virus like Ebola is a full suit with respirator like what Walter White (Breaking Bad) wore when he was manufacturing meth…but, “Ebola is hard to catch.”

Yesterday, the CDC passes out “Ebola Kits” to the nation’s nurses. It’s a sandwich baggie containing a basic mask, pair of latex gloves and a surgical bonnet (looks like a shower cap).

Other countries, including Colombia ban travel from Africa. Apparently, Colombia’s corrupt and incompetent government is way smarter than our corrupt and incompetent government.

Then there’s the general garden variety buffoonery like shown below. While an Ebola patient is being transported, some dude interjects wearing no protective gear whatsoever. This is our CDC at work, everything is carefully planned out to ensure our safety we all get Ebola.

Which of these things isn’t like the others?

This is one Dallas hospital’s idea of “protective” gear for their nurses. A bubble head and whatever the nurse can jerry-rig to protect herself

Obama appoints an “Ebola Czar” to oversee this whole Ebola crisis. The Ebola Czar is a highly trained professional who specialized in infectious diseases and stopping their spread in a large populationlawyer. Ebola is quaking in its boots about how well this Czar is going to be able to argue the issues with it.

Meanwhile, our government refuses to ban flights from Africa citing a twisted logic that stopping flights from Hot Zones would “increase the spread of Ebola.” But, wait, we have Ebola here, so other countries should ban flights from us.

Genius!
I told Mike I’m not shaking the hand of anyone who looks like a health care professional, is wearing an African turban or tells me I’ve just inherited 40,000,000 from the daughter of a Nigerian billionaire 🙂