Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Speaking of dull scabbards, the pope will definitely be on Italy’s side if and when it enters the war, according to the Daily Mail (UK), the news leader in bullshit.

It reports that a bishop told Pope Benedict that priests in Italy near the Austrian border were preaching to soldiers that they should prepare themselves to fight bravely, and should really be told to stop that because it violated the spirit of neutrality. “No, no, that is enough of neutrality,” the pope supposedly said. “Why, we are all Italians and must speak to our soldiers with an Italian heart.”

Something to look forward to. A bunch of new zeppelins will be built by then. Also, says the military-secrets-leaking secretary, “We shall employ a new process causing atmospheric perturbations, which will make it impossible for enemy machines to cross the German lines without dropping like flies.” No idea what he’s talking about.