David: Could Be Raining

His alarm didn’t go off. He was late for work and missed the 9 o’clock meeting. His boss fired him. During lunch (which gave him salmonella) some kids keyed his car and flattened his tires. His cellphone battery was dead, and the payphone had gum on it, which he didn’t notice in time. The tow truck ran the light, and got sideswiped by a Hummer. Both drivers were illegal and didn’t have insurance. He was mugged walking to his house, which was on fire. He got a letter from the IRS in a red envelope.

Stacy: Vacation

Lost. Goddamned Yellowstone tour guide. We should have checked his ID, or something…do you have to be licensed to be a guide?

We’d have been ok if stupid Steven hadn’t gotten scalded by that geyser. What kind of idiot thinks the park service actually digs holes for you to take a dump in? At least he’s stopped screaming now. The moaning is irritating but not quite as bad.

I wonder when they’ll send out a search party. Or if. I don’t think we told anyone where we were going…did we? Oh well, at least there are no bears.