8 Kale Chip Flavors That Shouldn't Exist

Would you like some kale in your piña colada?

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Everyone is obsessed with kale chips, and it's easy to see why: They make salad taste like junk food. It's genius as long as you don't mind massive green flakes stuck between your teeth. Even though kale chips have about as many calories and grams of fat as potato chips, they're usually made with healthier fats and are generally the healthier option, says registered dietitian Keri Glassman. While some veggies lose their nutrients when you cook them, baked kale chips retain most of the good stuff.

And just like potato chips, kale chips come in some super strange flavors. So the staff of Cosmopolitan.com taste-tested the strangest so you don't have to:

1. Brad's Raw Krunchy Kale "Piña Kale-Ada" Coconut and Pineapple-Flavored Kale Chips: Are these candies or cocktails or leafy greens? So. Confused. Testers say it tastes kind of like dried fruit — which can be good or bad.

2. New York Naturals "Bombay Ranch" Indian Spice-Flavored Kale Chips: Evidently, there's a reason why you never see ranch dressing on Indian food menus. Testers say the zesty flavor isn't entirely terrible, but has a mouth feel that's pasty rather than crunchy.

4. Nuts.com "Coconut Cacao Kale Granola" Sweet Kale Chips: This doesn't know if it wants to be a salad or a macaroon or cereal. No one is crazy enough to make chocolate and coconut-covered romaine lettuce. So the only real question here is "Why?" (Testers say it tastes as weird as it sounds. Especially the rogue stems.)

5. Alive & Radiant Foods Kale Krunch "ChocKalet" Chocolate-Flavored Kale Chips: Speaking of identity crises, is this stuff dessert or a kale cookie? You can totally snack on salad, but just go with a proper treat for dessert.

6. Brad's Raw Krunchy Kale "Vampire Killer" Garlic and Vegan Cheese Kale Chips: Killer? Um, relax. We're all vegans here. (Still, this stuff is clearly designed to be really garlicky. If you can't find any vampires to offend, you can still lose some friends thanks to vile breath that will cling to your tongue for hours after eating these.)

7. Solar Raw "Better Than Cheddar Croustilles De Chou Frisé Supremes" Cheddar-Flavored Kale Chips: Got the "better than cheddar" thing. But heads up, cheese lovers: This particular flavoring is made from soaked cashews, nutritional yeast, and other ingredients — not actual cheddar cheese. And what's with the French? Since when did kale chips get so fancy shmancy?