Monday, August 27, 2012

This happened some years ago while I had started working at a moffusil office .I would commute by local train to & from my place of work to my home in a suburb in the city.I had to change the train at a station midway & catch another train to reach the moffusil office.Similarly ,I would change train after having covered more than half the distance.

One day during the monsoons,it rained very heavily after I reached office.All my colleagues were anxious as we feared that we may not be able to reach home if we did not leave office early .As I stayed the farthest from office , I was allowed to leave office soon after lunch hour.I was sure all others in my office were feeling jealous as I was able to escape work while it rained cats & dogs & they slogged at their desks !

I reached the station to take the train on my return journey.All trains were late due to water logging & heavy rains.Thankfully ,it had stopped raining.Many trains arrived & left -they were so full that I was unable to get into any of them.Finally ,I managed to board a train.The train started moving.It picked up speed & I was glad that I would reach home soon.

And I was wrong ! The train slowed down just on the outskirts of the station where I would get down & get into another train.The train came to a stop.After some time,people started enquiries about why train had stopped just outside the station.Some said ,there was no signal.Others said many trains were lined up ahead of our train & so on.Nobody was sure about the reason.Some people got down from the train & started walking towards the platform as it was just some distance away.The wait was getting longer by the minute.The train stood there without moving.There were no signs that it would move soon.

More & more commuters got down & started walking towards the platform.Very soon ,only two ladies were left in the compartment besides me.It was one hour since the train had stopped.The other two ladies in the compartment & me were getting irritated .We all decided to get down as we felt ,the train may not move for some more time -maybe an hour or two.Moreover ,if rains started again ,it would get all the more difficult to walk on the tracks.

Very carefully ,we stepped out of the compartment on to the ground -it was a jump or rather jumps.The height at the which the train is from the ground is quite a bit.After we all had landed safely ,we started walking towards the platform .We saw that many people were walking ahead of us & behind us.Many trains had halted on the various tracks.

As we walked ,we came across some drains.We carefully crossed them.There was a big open drain some distance away.As I neared it ,I missed my step & fell into it ! All the people who were walking ahead ,besides & behind me looked shocked ! They were all very decent as nobody laughed at me ! I was completely soaked in the dirty waters of the drain - only my head & shoulders remained above the water ! I managed to stand still though the drain water was flowing furiously ! I felt awful.I wished if only Surf Excel Matichad been added to the drain water ,it would have been wonderful ! The drain water would be clean ! Then maybe, I would have loved falling into the open drain ! Why me ,anybody & everybody would love taking a dip in the gutter ! But alas, that was not the case ! One man gave me his hand & I just stared at him.He screamed," A train is coming on the tracks, just next to where you are ! " I froze.I saw that a train was moving on the tracks & the tracks just crossed the open drain where I was standing, all soaked up in filth ! I thrust my hands & he caught it & pulled me up - out of the mess .Others stood & waited in case, I needed more help.I was out of the filthy gutter.I thanked the kindly gentleman.The train that was moving & coming in my direction just passed by my side within minutes of my rescue.It was a close shave ! Some people enquired if I was fine.I said I was & all resumed their walk.I joined them .Soon ,we reached the platform.

I was wet & dirty.I was shivering, as I was drenched by the drain water. I was desperate to get home & bathe after being soaked in the gutter.I came out of the platform & took a three wheeler home .I recounted my filthy adventure to my mom.She asked me if I had got hurt.I replied in the negative.Maybe, I had -I was unable to recall.I had a bath -wherein I scrubbed & scrubbed .I had a warm dinner & slept away.And very soon ,I was dreaming ! For the rest of the week,I stayed home.

I did not fall sick .I was whole & hearty & am still healthy ! So ,the moral of the story is : a dip in the open drain is a must, to boost immunity ! And it is cheap too - no charges !

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

I watch a comedy show on the weekends on the idiot box.I was looking forward to the grand finale on the evening of 19th August.IndiBlogger had organised The Nokia Apptasting IndiBlogger Meet at Taj Land's end ,Bandra that very evening.I was in two minds - to attend or miss.My kid was insisting that we attend.So we went & well ,I enjoyed it because the sparkling wit & humour more than made up for the Grand finale which I missed ! It was a bonus !

The warmth of the hosts,the superb ambience ,the presenters -all in all, a Scintillating event ! We all laughed so much that we were stress free for those many hours !

The onion cutting technique - a French one introduced by Vikas Khanna was really simple .It made me wonder, why didn't we think of it before ! Rajiv Makhni simplified the apps for those all who were not so tech savvy like yours truly !

The quiz round revealed some interesting bits of information.The onion halwa made at Khajuraho ,the temple town.Now, we know why the sculptures in Khajuraho are erotic -the scupltors devoured onion halwa as they sculpted away.Nokia is the biggest manufacturer of digital cameras -all included in their fabulous mobile phones ! Rasam is undoubtedly the national soup of India, as revealed by Chef Vikas Khanna.As the quiz ended,we were all jealous of the winners as they won Nokia lumia phones ! We all felt that we as audience deserved them more than the winners !

To indulge the audience ,Nokia vide its Director,Communications,Poonam Kaul announced this contest wherein we could blog about the event of the evening & win Nokia Pure View if declared the best & Nokia Lumia for the follow ons at second & third positions !

IndiBlogger celebrated its fifth anniversary at the event & it showed that IndiBlogger has been able to garner the best of the worlds ! May IndiBlogger thrive & rise further up to reach the skies & beyond ! Happy B'day ,IndiBlogger -the meet was a worthy b'day bash !

Well ,this snap of me & my daughter flanked by Vikas Khanna & Rajiv Makhni is just to recall that we were indeed present at the fabulous event !

So ,I decided to blog about it through this post .My blog post cannot truly reflect the chuckles we had as we participated by being there clapping ,looking ,cooking ,chopping,seeing & believing that we were indeed there !

Before I close,I would like to state that wine overflowed though we were too drunk on the wit & humour of the event to even take a sip of the wines !

Friday, August 17, 2012

Discourtesy is basically exhibiting bad manners. Discourteous people may be rude unknowingly or knowingly.This is especially true in accepting gifts & presents,even favours.

Some time back ,I was planning a Chennai visit.My relative specifically asked me to buy a Kanjeevaram silk saree for her.I was quite reluctant & have come to a conclusion, that clothes are a difficult choice to make.This is because ,I am very particular about the colour,texture,type of clothes I wear.I believe this holds true for others as well.As the aforesaid person described in detail, the type of saree she wanted me to buy,I was glad .She specified a deep green colour .She also stated that the pattern must be non -traditional -it must be contemprory.I agreed & on my visit ,I got a saree which she had specified or so I thought.It was deep green in colour with red polka dots unlike traditional Kanjeevaram sarees.And how wrong it all turned out !

When she saw the saree ,she was not pleased at all.She took it very reluctantly.She liked another saree that I had been gifted & which I had already started using,I told her that the saree I had got as per her choice , is a gift from me to her, as her birthday was just around the corner.I thought that my gift would be appreciated- so much so that till now she has not worn that saree- it is for keeps !

Some time after that ,she called me up with a request about a vintage Chinese vase .She wanted it to adorn a corner in her new house which she had purchased.She requested me to ask my globe trotting hubby to get it for her.I was not very pleased.She offered to give me back the saree as I had liked it very much.She wanted the vase in exchange for the saree.I was shocked that she was returning the saree as she stated that I had liked it .I used to think that unless I liked something ,I cannot gift it or pick it for others as requested .now after this episode,I stand corrected.I must pick up things for others which I dislike !

I told my hubby to pick up a Chinese vase even after her rude remarks of returning the saree.This was going to be an even bigger error of judgement on my part , so far.I gave my hubby, all specifications as she had described.Very soon, hubby called me up to inform that he had picked up a vintage Chinese vase - he said that he had told the shopkeeper all detailed specifications & that was that.I was happy.Then my hubby stated that it had cost a bomb - half a lac ! I was flabbergasted.Since my relative had specifically demanded an item which we ( I and hubby ) could get for her,I kept mum.My hubby suggested that we gift the vase to her for her new home.Moreover,she & her family had obliged us on many occasions in the past.Hence, we felt ,it can make up for some of that though hardly match the favours we had enjoyed !

My teenage daughter learnt of the price & passed on the information to my relative.My relative has refused to accept the vase saying that she had stated very clearly that it need not be procured if it was EXORBITANT.She forgot to state what is exorbitant , expensive ,as per her ideas .We knew nothing about vases- Chinese or non -Chinese,vintage or modern.Moreover ,she could have purchased one in her city itself though choice could be limited.My hubby argued that vintage items don't come cheap.He refused to return it.He has shipped it now for delivery adding some more value to the vase.She is adamant that she does not want it -as a gift or even paying for it ! We are awaiting its arrival - if all goes well ,it may have cracked on its journey ! Then we all can breathe freely.

When someone asks another to get something ,is it not the persons duty to accept graciously ? It is downright rude to refuse & utterly disgusting to ask for exchange of another item in its place.And then to refuse to accept that as well.This episode or rather episodes have made it very clear to me that I must refuse or decline to get anything for anyone no matter how much near or dear ones tell me to .Because as the aforesaid incidents unfolded it is clear that no one is dear or near any more or was never near & dear !

I think in such cases ,there is an unasked question .It is "How dare you equal me in obliging ?I will always indulge you -you must feel overwhelmed & be under the pressure of my favours & gifts .Even if you try to give me any presents and or favours,it will never be accepted.I will always see that it is refused."

Please do not conclude that such events happen rarely.My NRI friend has brought time & again gold chains & biscuits for her near & dear ones as requested.The near & dear ones hold money very dearly.They pay her only when she is returning back - on the last day of her trip ! That way they make sure ,she also holds Indian currency dearly as at the last moment ,she is loaded with cash which she has no reason to spend.She has already done her shopping ,etc.Moreover ,the people who ask her to get gold tell her to get it at the lowest possible rates- this means she must keep checking if gold is cheaper today or the next day & buy it accordingly ! Also ,the buyer has got the chain tested for genuineness,weight ,carrotage ,hallmarking et al before my friend gets paid !

Some people will downright refuse to accept any dish which another lovingly wants to share with friends,neighbours,relatives telling that nobody eats sweets in their home ,nobody likes greasy stuff etal.Can it not be made little pleasant by accepting it partly.Such refusals are because the decliners believe that in turn,they may have to share if they accepted the dish.So they say no , in the most cruel fashion.

At work ,sometimes one offers his or her service ,it is refused because it becomes an obligation.Nobody understands that good team work is its own reward & boosts productivity.Team work amongst Indians is a big No as all are interested in pulling others down.

I am sure,you all are as flummoxed as I am - what is more crude - out of the many examples ? Maybe you have a more ugly incident /s to relate.....? !

I feel that the only lesson we can take from all such episodes is to be as pleasant as possible in such instances & never refuse any offer of help or assistance when offered .

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

From ancient times,both marriages have existed.Witness Sri Krishna Rukmini vivaah ,wherein Rukmini is abducted by Krishna as she sends an SOS to the Lord.Similarly,Arjun Subhadra is a prem vivaah , which is then arranged by Krishna to suit all !.Draupadi marrying the Pandavas was an arranged polygamus marriage. Ram Sita marriage can be classified as an arranged marriage though the moment, Sita & Ram set eyes on each other before the swayamvar,they are in love ! The wedding of Lakshman & Urmila & other siblings of Ram with the sisters of Sita can be termed arranged .Even Sati -Shiva is a love marriage.I better stop listing some more, before rightist groups ban this blog post !On second thoughts,I wish it is banned so that more people will come & read this blog post ,out of curiosity as to what led to the ban !

Love marriage is when two people ( let us assume that one is male & the other ,a female) meet & sparks fly .It could be that it is love at first sight,sound or maybe if their vision,hearing is lacking, after many sights & sounds ! Arranged marriage is fixed( so now we know, from where all match fixing ,tender fixing etc ideas originated ? ! ) by parents ,grandparents & all other relatives ( some of whom, one never knows existed ) taking into account caste,creed ,colour,status,wealth etal .

Sometimes parents are reluctant to accept their wannabe bahus & damaads in love marriages.This unwillingness is perhaps, more due to the fact, that as parents,they have lost control over their offspring more than anything else.Some parents accept choices made by their children willingly.Sometimes, the differences between parents & kids over life partner choices lead to bloodshed & grief.

Many times, it so happens, that the girl who married the boy out of love, transforms into a dear daughter for the parents -in -law.Ditto ,the son -in law becomes as dear as a son or perhaps dearer than the own offspring.In an arranged marriage ,sometimes things may go haywire & the bahu or damaad may not live up to expectations & cause untold grief to the parents - in law.This does not mean that parents are not hurt.Some can cause equal amount of misery to all - they believe in equal distribution of grief amongst all.They make sure, that the grief adds up .

I have known many love marriages & one of them is most touching ! The man is from one community & the girl from another.Both speak a different language.They fell in love at work & got married.She was highly educated & higher in designation.Post wedding ,she encouraged & guided him towards higher learning which made him climb up the corporate ladder She was a doting wife,mother & daughter in law.Then tragedy struck & she met with y an accident which has maimed her for life .She is bedridden .The hubby continues to work & care for her even a decade, after her accident.Her inlaws are supporting the son in his seva. She has improved somewhat , though she is still bedridden.Her children are growing up.He goes far & near to get his wife treated so that she may recover .Life continues in the hope, that she will get up & walk one day, as she did before !

Mine is an arranged marriage.My hubby is overflowing with flaws though under my able supervision & guidance, he is improving slowly but surely .I continue with this partnership, because, I believe, that one has to be in the system, to fight the system ! I had to leave a cushy job to be a home maker .My hubby has understood that I am very unhappy & keeps telling me to learn some course.I have told him that I will not go for any new studies as I want to corner him & let him understand that I am being the least expensive partner he could get ! I leave no opportunity to remind him, that I am so reasonable that he has got the best deal in marriage. He being very ritualistic is always there by my side in poojas, social functions,etal as he firmly believes that after marraige ,hubby & wife are one entity .Hence pooja ,any other ritual is incomplete if done by only husband or the wife.So ,I know ,he needs me more than I need him ! My hubby's glasses have distorted his vision so much so that for him ,my virtues have turned into flaws.I soon want to go & return the said pair of glasses .This is because, I completely agree with what a wife said while she returned her hubby's glasses to the optician"These glasses are useless..He still cannot see things my way ." I am tolerating this arrangement, as my hubby will experience withdrawal symptoms if I am not there there to nag him.

There is love in arranged marriage & arrangement in love marriage.All marriages are therefore hybrid in nature - arranged in love and or love that is arranged.

Moreover as one wag put it ,in all vivaahs,women pray for the same hubby in seven births because they hope fervently, that by the seventh birth ,the hubby would have finally got civilised ( moulded as per order ) ! Obviously ,it is too much to expect the woman to waste her time & energy in improving a new man in each birth !

In the end, love as also arranged marriage- both work, because of the magnanimity of women,who overlook all the flaws in their partners as they want stability.If marriages fail -love as also arranged,the failure is due to men who have an inborn ,inherent & innate tendency to flirt.As some one rightly shared on a social network ,when women close their eyes ,they see the love of their life & when men close their eyes,a slide show begins !