I was abused between the ages of 17 and 27 by someone who entered my life as an authority figure (both maths and bible teacher). It did not involve rape but was a lot more than mere touching. I am now 39 and married with 2 kids. I have been going through therapy for a while now to deal with self-hatred, self-harm and an inability to receive affection. The abuse, which I had thought was over and had been dealt with in my own mind to my own satisfaction, has shown itself as a key factor in all of this.

Anyway, one of the possible ways of helping myself may be to talk it over with my wife. She has no idea of what happened and I have always felt that I would never tell her (or anyone) because of my age at the time. I could have said no but I didn't. Not only was I an adult during most of the period I was married for the last couple of years - how will my wife not feel betrayed? Surely she will question my sexuality?

I would love to hear from anyone who has experience of telling people in a situation like this. Has it helped? How did you go about it? How did your partner react?

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