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It was time for a new thread so I started one. My mind was on Netta when I came up with the name. My heart really goes out to you, lady. And through it all you still manage to smile and keep your composure. What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger as you well know....

Nothing much going on with me today. It was pretty much a chilled day with nothing to do. My case worker paid me a home visit today. That was something I wasn't use to but it was pretty nice. He even said he was going to look out for apartments for me.

And that is about it for me. I am going to watch some Freddy Krueger movies. I wonder how Cindy is doing? She has been kinda quiet lately. Knowing her she is prolly just mad busy. Anyone see Oprah with the Whitney Interview? I missed it. Yeah, I heard about Swayze last night when it popped on Yahoo.

Not much going on with me. I'm not going to sue over the food poisoning but the reporting process was a little more than I expected. The weather has been pretty odd here. It's been hot, then it rained for a couple days, then fog and now it's hot again. I just wanted to pop in real quick. I hope you are all doing well.

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Diagnosed July 28th 2003

'I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I just lived the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well.' -Diande Ackerman

'Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is?' -Frank Scully

Netta, hun, I'm so sorry for what you're going through. During the separation, are you going to try counsoling?

Betty, how was your meeting with the lawyer and your DEXA scan? You've got so much going on right now. Hun, stay strong. You know that you are in our thoughts and prayers.

Camms, good to see you back in action. You've been missed.

I've been keeping up with everyone here, but not posting much. Life has been a whirlwind and I've not been dealing with it like I should (enter the "guilt cycle"). On a positive side, Mim's tests have all come back "normal". Doc is chalking it up to "chronic disease progression". I'd rather think of it as a very long "blip" - sounds a bit better.

Today we go back to the ENT. Not sure what he's going to do, though, since her issues are more neurologic than otologic. If nothing else, i can get the results of our youngest daughters CAT scan that she had a month ago and no one has bothered to call me and tell me the results of.

Speaking of our youngest daughter: HER HEARING AIDE IS HERE!! We go Friday afternoon to pick it up. I'm so excited. I just hope it helps - and that she leaves it in - and that she doesn't lose it - and ....

A week from Saturday, Hubby and I are driving to Toledo, OH (a 12hr round trip) to pick up the kids' new dog - an early Christmas present. She's a 14mth old true-hairless Chinese Crested. Full-grown, she weighs about 6lbs and is 10 inches tall. An amazing dog breed who just came to the states in the 1970's and got AKC recognition as a pedigree dog in 1991. They are odd looking, leaning towards ugly, but they have great personalities Our baby is red with stark white hair on the top of her head and the tip of her tail. I get sole naming rights and have one picked out. I'm not telling anyone, including Hubby, until we get her and I make sure she "looks" like her name. If not, I'll have about 5hrs to pick a new one. She's already house broken and will be spayed the end of October.

Nothing much else going on. Laundry today, grocery shopping tomorrow, co-op and hearing aide appointment on Friday. Just another day in the life....

Morning ladies- Netta still praying for ya for strength....hold fast! When do you find out the results for the Hep?

Betty you too. How was the consult with the lawyers?

queen- what part of NY are you looking for an apartment? Was it brooklyn? I haven't had a chance to go through all the threads yet. Nice thread

Mini- The chinese crested are pretty unusual and teeter on ugly. I think they are sooo sweet and you can't help but fall in love with their peculiar looks. You all must be so excited. How did you her? Petfinder? and what make you decide to go with that breed?

Well, have to run, I'm working on a large project and have to meet with the client this am.

Mum, thanks for the thoughts and prayers. I won't get the results of the dexa scan for a couple weeks. The girl said one of their doctors is out, so it's taking longer. I've been following your dog thread in "off topic." I'm going to watch out for what you decided to name her. You had some pretty good suggestions. I'm sure everyone is going to love your new baby. And I'm glad Mim's test results came back alright. HIV effects kids so different, I believe, than it does adults.

Camms, I know you mentioned what type of work you do, but I forgot? Did you ever get into that master's program you were trying for?

The meeting with the attorney lasted only about 15 minutes (I'm sure he didn't want a long one, since the consult's free). He said that what my therapist told me after talking to his attorney friend is correct. That (at least in Indiana) someone cannot get misdemeanors expunged or sealed. He said that yes, there is a thing call "post conviction relief." He said that with that, it could go either of two ways- the judge could reduce the charges, or could completely dismiss them. He said the prosecutor has to give his approval, which he said is the most difficult part of the whole thing. He said, though, being that my last charge is 5 or 6 years old, that that was a pretty good timeline. Then, he told me how much he would charge for all 3 charges-$900. I told him that, well, if I come up with that kind of money, I would give him a call. Soooo...back to the drawing board.

On another note, I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to get my wheel bearings fixed. They're going out on both sides. A friend of mine said there's a station that takes payments, but I don't know if that means they don't give the car back unless the payments are made or what. Just going to a few stores today (grocery shopping, not luxury or anything). You all have a good one.

Edited to add: Love the title, Queen.

« Last Edit: September 16, 2009, 05:49:30 PM by BT65 »

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

HI GF's thanks for the prayers really apreciate you all!We decided not to seperate, give it till the new year.we are going into counseling. I really was angry when I wrote that last post, I just wanted everything to go away. I have to grow up and stop running from my problems, like I have in the past.We had an argument, over something so silly, but when I get mad, I cut you loose. Marriage doesn't work like that. I was very much in love with my husband when I married him, but that was the honeymoon stage, getting to know someone is different, I do love him and want to get back to the in love, I just don't like someof his ways and he doesn't like some of mine. Anyway I love him enough to work on it. see we are really just getting to know each other. he has never been married. and I have, too many times, and they have all ended up in divorce. He is the first man to treat me with respect and really good, but he is not perfect, I think I look for perfection and that is not fair, nor realistic.I am happy today, we are comunicating more and talking more and even making love ! they say making up is good, after an argument.

anyhow- my hep test was negative, diabeties- negetive. liver still ellivated , but this is from my high colestoral, called fatty liver, my colesterol is high, so I must watch my diet. which is hard -a non fat dietall in all good news.

Camms, my parents have an 18-mth old Powder Puff Chinese Crested. They got her when she was 9mths old. She is such a sweet dog and great with the kids. Our youngest daughter has depleted barrier skin cells. When she gets an itch and scratches, her skin literally peels off. Ginger, my parents' dog, is the only dog she'd ever been around that didn't set off her allergies. The only hypo-allergenic dog is a poodle.

We began researching dogs, interviewing breeders, checking out AKC registeries of breeders, you name it, we researched it. Then, I started emailing breeders asking about prices for "partial registry" or "pet-quality" dogs (dogs that aren't "perfect" so they can't be shown or used to breed.) One breeder emailed back that she had a 14mth old hairless female that got her leg hurt by her first owner, then the second owner lost her house. Both previous owners gave the dog back to the breeder.

At first she wanted full-price for her. I emailed her back and told her that we were interested, but I wasn't paying full price for a dog with an injury that, although it wasn't causing her problems now, left her more prone to early onset arthritis. We offered her just under half of her asking price. She emailed 7 minutes later asking when we could pick her up. Now you know the rest of the story

Netta, I think that's wonderful that you and Hubby are trying to work it out. Give counsoling a chance. I'll keep you both in my prayers.

Betty, UUGGHH! I feel your frustration. Dog-gon it, I wish there was something I could do. There's got to be something, someone can do to help you out. I just wish they would hurry and show up. Mim got an "A+" from her ENT today. Her lymph nodes aren't swollen and the white goo in her mouth is gone. HIV effects kids very differently than adults. The problem is also that there's few to no research done for peds here in the states. It's wonderful that less than 1% of babies born to poz-mommies are born poz. The catch is that because there's so few, there's no "market" for people to spend the time and resources on that 1%.

I know I have some thing to hump later on.. Sorry, couldn't resist that one. And before Papi, I had something to hump, it just ran on batteries..... Hehe, tmi, I'm done. But Mum started it, I just ran with it. Me and my dirty mind....

Anyhoo, Netta, I am so glad that you and hubby are going to work it out. I definitely feel you on the character traits. I tend to overlook some of Papi's flaws as I am sure he ignores some of mine. Like you said no one is perfect and goddess knows this world is far from perfect. I think sometimes people work too hard at striving for perfection instead of accepting who they are. I am glad you guys decided on counseling and hope you work it out. Girl, make up sex is the bomb!!!!

Mum--- I was following the other thread too. Did you come up with a name yet? Papi is talking about getting me a dog once I get a place. For when he is not there to be with me. All I know is it better be house trained....

GFS, I am alive but dog tired. Turns out I have to collect a heap of rent from my tenant, rather than having Housing pay for most of it. No one told me about this until after he had signed the lease. I only have half of the Tenant's part of the rent for Sept. Ice and I drove up to surprise him Labor Day weekend cause he wasn't answering the phone. It was quite evident he had been smoking in the house, a big no-no according to the lease. All that new paint and carpet, stunk up. I'll have to keep him in there cause a non-smoker wouldn't want to rent the place. I am sitting tight, hoping he pays me close to $1000 for Oct 1st, rather than the $50 we thought would be his part. Yeah, BIG difference. Needless to say, I have been frustrated. Technically he is in default of his lease for many reasons, but I am hoping it will all wash out come October. I just have to be patient.

Looks like I missed a few birthdays, so Happy Birthday to Betty and Snow! Betty, I am so sorry about all of the crap you've been going through. I am frustrated for you, too. If you were here, Ice could give you a discount on wheel bearings. Dammit, move to DC, lol!

Netta, I am glad you don't have diabetes, and congrats on the CD4 going up. Hang in there with dh, bec like you said, you are still getting to know one another. Its not going to be perfect, but you can compromise.

Holly, sorry about the food poisoning. Ugh, that always freaks me out bec I used to work for a caterer and I was food safety certified. With my health I am always very careful about what I eat. Glad you are better.

Camms so good to see you back! Congrats on the BF. No wonder you were away.

Mum, I hope things get a little better with Min. I didn't read everything in the threads in detail, just a quick catch up. Hang in there.

Ice and I are doing good, I am kicking so much ass at work, I am getting bored. I fly through my work. PITA (remember her?) is still an ass. She's hardly ever there, always calling in sick and whining when she's there. She must have been a bigger bitch in a previous life, bec Karma is biting her ass now. (PITA = pain in the ass).

More soon, I am beat. Sorry I was away for so long. With my renter issues and the kids around more, I've been busy!

Netta, I'm glad you and your hubby are going to give counseling a try. I know it's hard to get used to another person, and all their imperfections. But, I also know no one is 100% up to our definition of perfect, and we aren't 100% up to anyone else's. It's all about compromise, and what we're willing to live with. I'll be thinking about you guys, and hoping for the best. And congrats on the blood work. So, you have a fatty liver because of having high cholesterol? I don't think I've ever heard of this. Have you like had high cholesterol for a long time?

Mum, this area isn't known for helping people who get into trouble. Being that they did away with their statute of limitations years ago, which would have erased people's crimes after some years (as long as they kept out of trouble), I just believe they want people to keep paying. It's a bit maddening. They have places to help about everything else, but nothing to help with anything involving criminal charges. So, people are pretty screwed unless they can get the cash to pay one of those high-priced individuals ("individuals" is the best term I can come up with for lawyers, but certainly not what I'm thinking). Indiana is fine for people who make a good living, and tend to lean toward the right; it even has a homeless center that Regis Philbin does a Christmas special about, and got a "star" by the old Pres. Bush (the father). So, it's a good area for homeless people also (doesn't that sound odd). I mean, I e-mailed the governor (Mitch "the Bitch" Daniels) about how to get more money into the ASO's so people with HIV/AIDS could get more services. I got an e-mail back saying "that's a federal matter, Gov. Daniels doesn't deal with that." Talk about maddening.

Queen, I'm still using my thing with batteries for humping (heh). The last time I had an actual person, I ended up getting herpes, so that shut me down.

Cin, I don't understand; section 8 isn't going to pay much of the rent? Is this guy going to be able to pay what he owes? I knew he'd be smoking in there. That pisses me off when someone takes advantage of people like that. Maybe you could have Ice have a good talking to him, and let him know what's up. I wouldn't say you'd have to keep him in there just because the smell of smoke is in things. It can be gotten out of things, and you could have someone who can pay in there. Just don't "settle" because you don't think things can improve. Instead of me moving to DC, could you please send Ice here to fix my wheel bearings? You could come with him and stay with me.

Yeah, I'm pretty frustrated about the whole background/tattoo thing. About a month ago, I filled out an application online for a delivery driver for Pizza Hut. Yesterday someone called from there, and I'm supposed to go Friday for an interview. I don't hold out hope, though; Pizza Hut does background checks, and so far the restaurants that I've checked out around here don't hire people with visible tatts. Maybe I should get some motorcycle gloves. Anyway, I'm sure when I tell the guy about my back crimes, that'll be it. Even the lawyer said no one in any type of retail would hire me, being that the past crimes involve theft. It sucks, it really does. I was telling my best friend last night that I don't hold out hope as far as finding a job is concerned, until I can do something about my background. She was telling me that she heard something on the radio about this cream that, after seven weeks, takes the pigment out of skin, and causes tatts to fade. She told me to google it, and see what comes up. I'm sure it's very expensive, but we'll see. Today I'm going to the library to take back a couple movies. You all have a good one.

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Cindy--- I saw you online last night after I had finished posting. I did text you about the Redskins playing last weekend (My Cowboys won ) but I figured you had your hands full. I am surprised that Section 8 is not paying most of your tenant's rent. He must have a pretty decent income, I am wondering. Idk, I am new to all this Section 8 stuff myself. But if you have no smoking in your lease then it would be grounds to evict him unless you want to give him another warning. I can see how it all can be stressful to you. As much work as you put in, your ass should have been promoted a long time ago...

Betty-- Yeah, I remember that. I can see where that would leave you a bit hesitant to get with someone else. I think getting wheel bearings is a bit pricey or so I have heard. That was one thing I never had to deal with when I had a car. I hate that your past is keeping you from getting a job, that really blows. Is there any place around there where you could work under the table? Or maybe someone who could write something in your behalf? Maybe your therapist or someone at the place where you volunteered at? Sometimes that helps. My ASO case manager did that for me when Section 8 tried to refuse me because of my felony. It wasn't like they found it, I was being honest and told them myself.

Not much going on with me today. It has gotten cooler now. I need to figured out what to do with my hair since I took my braids down.....Have a good one everyone.

Hi Everyone,Lucas and I seem to be sharing a bug . I kept Lucas home from school and he's napping. It's funny, Lucas loves school , but has been weepy about getting on the bus the last week because I'm not going with him . " Go with me mommy." "Just one more hug mommy." When he came home with a fever yesterday I called the bus company to say he wouldn't be going today because I knew his morning driver would be on her afternoon run. Well, they didn't give Lisa the message so she came to pick him up. Lucas saw her. So today instead of crying that he wants to stay with mommy, he starts crying that he wants to go with Lisa to school . I'm beginning to think he just loves tugging my heart .

Netta - I hope that things work out for you and hubby. Whatever happens we're here if you need to vent or share your joy .

Mum - I'm glad mim's tests are normal. I'm sorry she's going through such a long blip and hope it ends soon. I agree blip not chronic disease progression . The doctors don't always know with our kids what they are capable of. I remember when Lucas was younger and I first started doing therapy with him, his PID thought I was overdoing things . Now when we go in he always says he's amazed at how well Lucas has done . That he didn't think it was possible for Lucas to do this well. Our kids are amazing . Mim's in my prayers.

Betty - It sucks what you're going through. If you can't work in any kind of retail business, what about service? My sister has a conviction for embezzlement (not sure if that was the official charge filed) for which she still has to pay $200/mo fine or go to jail for breaking her parole. She works as a personal care assistant (companion, assist with grooming, prepare meals, light housework). Just a thought.

Well, I think I better catch a little nap while Lucas is down. I'm beat.

hello ladies, m so so glad to be here!!! its been forever, ma new job is just crazy, but i love it, its so challenging and there's massive exposure, just wished it paid just a little better that it does, lol...ma finances r not in good shape to say the least, hopefully things should be a better in Dec. i've missed u all, m just going to go thru threads n catch up.

m gud, have started gained some of weight back afta ma SJS last yr, and m reli happy + things wit ma bf are reli gud...for a while i had issues wit candida, but its just been gr8, cant remembr when i last needed to c ma gynae over that. m due for ma labs in oct...

Queen, yeah, wheel bearings are like $300 per side. A friend told me that it can take up to a year before they completely go out, so I'm hoping that buys me some time. Yeah, buys me some time before what though. It's not like I'm going to have that kind of money anytime soon. I'm hoping I can find someone who can fix them at a (very) discounted price. My therapist said he's going to write me a letter about how my life has changed. Of course, that will be the last thing I try; if people find out I'm in therapy, they'll probably really think I'm strange. You know how people are.

Amy, I've been interviewed for being a home companion before. They didn't hire me because of my tattoos. So, if it's not my background, it's my tatts. I was reading about creams that can be used to make tattoos fade, instead of using laser. The problem with that is, it takes a few months of using these creams every day before results are seen. And they're expensive; not as expensive as laser would be, but still expensive. A friend of mine suggested seeing if there's any prescription ones, and having my doctor write a script for one, if there is.

Not much going on today. I'm going to a food pantry in this real cushy town just to the northeast of me. I'm going because I want to see if they give away good things, since it's in a posh town. And I have a job interview at 3:00 to see about being a Pizza Hut delivery driver. I'm going to be honest with the guy and tell him about my past first thing. I don't want to waste his time or mine. We'll also see how he reacts to my tatts. Maybe that won't be a big thing, since I would be delivering pizzas, and not directly behind the counter serving people. I was telling my therapist yesterday about how unfair places are around here. He said that when his daughter lived here years ago, she couldn't get a job because of a nose piercing. He said since she moved to California, she's had no problem. This is such a conservative area (and I mean uber-conservative) there's not much of a chance for people who are a bit "different" than the mainstream people. I really cannot believe I live in this area, because of being a liberal. That's about it. You all have a good one.

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Queen, I'm sure your hair will be beautiful whatever you decide to do with it. So, how do you like the Sims 3?

Cindy, that's a bummer about the renter. I hope it all works out.

Mum, I'm glad that Mim's tests were ok. And, all I have to say about the Chinese Crested, is that they sure have some, um, interesting looks, lol.

Everything is going good with me. We have been cleaning the house yesterday and today. I even mopped the floors! I still haven't finished the storage/laundry/who-knows-whats-in-there-room but eventually it will get done. It's pretty warm today and it's supposed to heat up to 104 in a few days! YUCK!!!

Also, I had some blood tests done earlier this week and I don't have diabetes, so that's good. These new meds are great except that I'm thirsty a lot more and pee a lot more but I can deal with that I guess. My bf on the other hand, the doctors can't figure out what's going on. His last test had something to do with the Pancreas and the levels were really high. The doc said he needed a low fat diet. I'm a little concerned with that, as he is 6ft 4in tall and 160lbs. He doesn't need to loose any weight, so I need to figure out how to cook low fat while still keeping the weight on. I'm open to any suggestions as far as recipes go. Well, that's about it for now. You all have a good day.

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Diagnosed July 28th 2003

'I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I just lived the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well.' -Diande Ackerman

'Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is?' -Frank Scully

Just peekin in. Not much planned with me today. I have been in the house all week, not really wanting to go anywhere, just relax. Monday is the meeting with Section 8 then I will be on my grind looking for an apartment. I think I gave myself food poisoning by eating some lunchmeat I didn't realize was bad. Never had it before so I don't know the symptoms. All I know is that my stomach was killing me like I had done a major workout and cramps when I went to the bathroom like I was giving birth to an alien. Papi got me some Alka Seltzer which seem to help some. I am still a little sore today but not as much cramping as yesterday.

Holly-- I am liking the Sims 3 a lot. I mean it's pretty much the same but with some new additions. Now when you have a baby, you can interact more with it and it grows up. You can choose some of the characteristics you want it to have. You celebrate birthdays, get old, die and turn into ghosts. What's not to love, right? But I also have bought Silent Hill 3 and 4. I just started 3, I like it but I hate how the people move. And I also have the first Resident Evil and Mortal Kombat 2. I downloaded those from the Playstation Network.

Queen- It's been about 4 years since I've played Playstation....because, it was around that time I separated from my husband. But for years I was a dedicated player especially for Resident Evil and Silent Hill. I only played the POV games that fell into the horror genre. In only four years things have progressed so much. I wish I had a day just to play it again. But I gave my ex husband the playstation lol.

Betty- It's just not fair how the past keeps coming back to haunt you. What really burns me is the tattoo issue. I'm not surprised anymore by the shallowness of people but come on. In any event, I hope Pizza Hut works out for you? I hope that the manager appreciates your forthcoming approach. You need a serious break!

Mum- Sooooo? Is there a new member in the household today? What's the name and please post some pics. Are you crating the puppy or going with a room sectioned off with newspaper?

Cin- What went down when you surprised your tenant? Did you guys confront him? I can't even imagine disrespecting my landlord. If a friend or family member is going to smoke, I ask them to take it outside. The previous tenant smoked 5 packs a day, no joking, and the landlord had to replace all the carpeting for pergo. Not that you have to take it to that extreme. He also was here for 7 years. Basically if you can get this under control now, I don't think it will be as bad as you might think.

Off to the dog park. I've had 4 hours of sleep. Since G's been in my life I stay up much later. He's a graphic designer also, and we're in the process of collaborating on a project. It's so freaking fun I can't believe this is my life. I really through a dark period, as some of you might remember, when I had my surgery in the beginning of the summer. It's been a very long time since I can recall being this happy.

Holly, you and your boyfriend may want to talk to an HIV knowledgable nutritionist or dietician. That may give you some ideas about what to cook, so your bf can gain some weight (or not lose any).

Queen, I had food poisoning before, and it was awful. I had stuff coming out both ends, at the same time. I remember I laid on the bathroom floor all night, too fearful to get too far from the toilet. Anyway, I hope you're feeling better.

Camms, I'm so glad you're happy. Yeah, I remember the surgery time. Yeah, in some states, people don't care about tatts, but here they do care. This is a fucked up area; I wish I could afford to move to a more liberal-thinking state.

The Pizza Hut interview was, well, short. I told the manager about my past; he thanked me. He said it would cause the background check to "red flag." He also said he really didn't know what to do about the situation. He asked me a couple questions, said he had a couple more people to interview, and said he'd let someone know Monday. So, I don't hold out much hope for that.

I can't seem to catch a break jobwise. I don't want this to keep happening for the rest of my life. Maybe in 10 or 15 years people won't care about my background, because of time length. I'm just pretty down about the whole thing. Anyway, I don't want to be a downer on here. Whatever happens, happens. I'll just have to deal with it. You all have a good one.

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Camms, no new baby yet - next Saturday. Hubby and I are leaving Friday afternoon and driving the 5hrs to Toledo, OH. Then at 9am Saturday morning, we're going to the breeders to pick her up. She's already 14mths old (dob 7/8/08) and potty trained. She's used to being in a crate, but we're hoping she gets used to being OUT of it soon. We have one that we'll put in our room for bedtime, but we'll not keep her in it during the day. So far we've only bought her a teeny weeny pink collar and a 16ft (pink) retractable leash. We're taking the camera with us so I'll post pics here and in the doggy thread as soon as we have a quiet moment.

Betty, the whole thing just SUCKS. I don't know what else to call it. You'd be the most educated worker Pizza Hut ever saw, that's for sure. Gosh doggit! I just keep praying that an answer will come quickly and this can all be put behind you.

Youngest didn't get her hearing aide Friday. Her ears need suctioned out first or her hearing aide will do nothing but squeal. So, we have an appointment Tuesday afternoon for her ears to be suctioned and then Wednesday morning to be fitted (again) with her hearing aide. Such a seemingly simple thing - and it's turning out to be so stinkin' danged complicated!

We hit the ground running tomorrow and it doesn't slow down until sometime mid-November.

Hey! Just popping in to update you all on my tummy cause I know y'all care..*lol* Last night it was rough going to sleep, the cramps kept me tossing and turning. I had to lay with a pillow under my stomach all night. Plus, I think I was running a fever, It was so bad I took a warm shower instead of my usual hot one. It is a little better today but I notice the cramps come after I eat something. So, I really haven't eaten anything today but an avacado salad. And I will wait til after my Section 8 appointment to eat. Other than that nothing much going on just sitting here watching the football game.

Camms---I am so very happy for you. I remember the rough patches you had last year, what a difference a year makes. Last year wasn't the best for me either if you remember. Now I couldn't be happier and I would've never thought I would be living in NY.

Mum--I can't wait for you to get the pup. You have to take pics. We just might have a new addition of our own. Papi's daughter might get a chicuhua (I know I destroyed the spelling on that one but you know what I mean). He is 5 months old and his previous owner passed away but someone else also wants him too so we're not sure what is going to happen.

Betty--I wish I could go to the bathroom. When I try that is when the cramps hit me the most. I can't even pass gas...*lol* Praying that would give me some relief. And try not to let the job thing get you down. I'll have faith for the both of us.

Mum, too bad the youngest didn't get her hearing aide Friday, but hopefully Tuesday's appointment will be short, and she'll be hearing better in no time. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Thanks for the prayers, I can use them. I can't wait until you get your dog. I know the kids are going to love her (it's a her right).

Queen, I hope you're feeling better by now. it's been a couple days, hasn't it? I wonder if it's something else, like the flu. I don't think food poisoning lasts too long; of course, I could be mistaken. Mine lasted for one night, I guess until it was out of my system. I hope it's nothing serious.

A couple weekends ago my sister, who lives in this area, gave me a loveseat. A friend of mine daughter and son-in-law went with me and a friend to pick it up (it's in another city). I'm so happy. I haven't owned a sofa in 6 years. Truly, all I've had is a rocking chair, and folding chair. The ones (sofas) I had before I went into the nursing home were ruined (I spilled everything on them I was so strung out all the time). And I haven't had one since getting out of the hospital I was put in to dry out. So, I finally have one. My kitty thinks it's a new bed for her. Seriously. She's very selfish about anyone else getting on it. The other day, I was stretched out on it, and she came up by it, sat down, looked at me, and started meowing. And yesterday, I was napping on it, and my kitty jumped up, put her front paws on my legs, and started meowing. It's hilarious. Cats are so much fun.

Today I'm going to start doing another work experience (this is the last one I can do). It's going to be helping this guy who works with this program called Access to Recovery. It pays for people to get intensive outpatient treatment in alcohol/drug addiction, and pays for their transitional housing up to a point. He also works with offenders who are just getting out of prison to either get their GED, or find a job (well, I have news for them on the job front). Anyway, I hope it goes well. Please think good thoughts for me. Thanks. You all have a good one.

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

HI GF'S Hope everyone had a good weekend. I went to the movies again with the grands to see Tyler Perry's new movie. this is my 2nd time!The girls begged me to go. MY 12 yr old gd is growing up so fast, losing some baby fat and has a real teenager attitude! Have to check her all the time!The 6 yr, old is too smart, she has been here before, in another life. lol She tells her sister to "stay outta her business" they are ajusting well, to the divorce. They see their dad on weekends and spend the nite. My dh has a new man in her life, he just bought her a real Coach bag and some coach cologne!, he spoils her and has a good job. She deserves it! hard as she works!My dh is working overtime to get extra money, since he didnt get his promotion. The other employers put up a fuss, since he has only been there 6 months, and remember someone told the manager about his criminal past, that he had served time for robbery, of course you know they made up some of it to sound worse, that was ten years ago! So Betty we know what you are going through!rented The Soloist, this weekend, it was ok. Jamie Fox starred in it.

Well I went to my friends house yesterday to see the new puppies. Sophie , the mother finallly had 7 pups last Monday! Sophie is a shitzu-rat terrier mix and the dad Max is pure shitzu. I love shitzus ,would of bought one , but they are 300.00 and up. she is giving us a good deal, since they are mutts. they are so cute and tiny, 3 black ,2 blk and white ,and 2 brown. I am getting a female black and white. , they all look shitzu. I have to wait 8 weeks to take them home, I am getting only one, but would love to have two but we don't have the room. I am so excited about the puppy, she will be a house dog and spoiled! Love t0 all

Well, I dragged my cramping ass out of bed and made it to my Section 8 appointment. Now I have to go on Friday and get all the paperwork so I can start looking for apartments. I got a few numbers today while I was out with Papi. Also checked out a few real estate places too. I only have 30 days to find a place and if I don't I have to ask for another extension...Sheesh, you know the hell I caught the last time. But Papi thinks we won't have any problems.

Betty--Yeah, my stomach is still cramping a little bit. I finally had a bm today (reminds me of conversations I had in the past with my Moms) but I was concerned because I saw something white in it. And I haven't eaten anything white which made me wonder if it was a tape worm from the bad lunch meat. Papi seems to think I need to take a laxative for some reason so I decided to humor him and take it before bed tonight. If that doesn't work and I still don't feel any better by Wednesday then I will go to the ER.

I know what you mean about getting the loveseat. Soon, I will be trying to get stuff lined up for my place when I get it. But here they have a program for HIV folks where they give you money for furniture. I didn't believe it when Papi told me but he took me to the place and met with a worker. He said soon as I found a place to let him know and they would get me set up. I almost fell over. Man, I love NY...

Netta-- Sorry your hubby didn't get the promotion. It sounds like there is a lot of haters at his job. Congrats on the pup. Are you getting a male or female? Like I told Mum. you gonna have to post pics of your new babies.

Good pre-dawn morning! I know I should be in bed, but seems like once I wake up, I'm awake. I've been fighting a sinus / cold / allergy thing for a week. I'm feeling better, but not 100% and it's making me nuts. Hubby's been a good sport about it, taking up the slack and letting me sleep during the day. Of course my worst day was last Thursday - the day he leaves for school at 9am and doesn't get home until 10:30pm. I even managed, barely, to get the grocery shopping done.

Betty, congrats on the new furniture. Sounds like you are making a home. How come this is your last work experience position? Are you only allowed a certain number? Do they pay at least? Yes, our new baby is a girl. I can't wait to go get her. She has a name, 7 of them actually, but we don't know which we'll call her until we see her. I haven't told the kids and it's making them nuts, especially our oldest.

Netta, sad about not getting the promotion, but glad he at least got a raise. Even with people ratting out his past, it doesn't seem the boss had too big of a problem with it since he's not letting your dh go. Congrats on the puppy! Does your's have a name, yet? $300 for a mutt? WOW! Now breeders aren't calling them "mutts", they're calling them "designer hybrids" which, to me, just means "very expensive mutts". Our dog is getting spayed the end of October. I have enough 2-legged babies, I don't want anymore 4-legged ones.

Today our youngest goes back to her ENT to get her ears suctioned. It doesn't hurt, but she HATES it! I'm going to ask for a prescription med to put in her ears to keep them clean. I use debrox, but it doesn't work for her. ENT said her eustatia tubes are so small that her ears don't drain so they're always dirty. Now with her hearing aide, if her ears aren't perfectly clean, the aides will squeal. I need something that will get down in her "pipes" - like Drain-O

Other than ENT and dance tonight for Mim and Middle Son, not much else happening. Hubby got all the laundry done yesterday. I just need to fold it all. We got the girls' beds taken apart and the room rearranged for their new bed which is supposed to be delivered tomorrow. I have an 8:30 doc appointment to recheck my blood pressure. Then I take Youngest to get her hearing aide at 10. Like I said - hit the ground running.

You all make it a great day. HAPPY FIRST DAY OF FALL!! Bring on the cool weather

Betty- Congrats on the love seat. You've gone a long time with out a seating area. Now, it's time for you and your kitty to snuggle up the the couch especially since it is getting colder. Cat's are so funny when it comes to enjoying new furniture. I wonder if they think it just appeared, magically, and specifically for them?. In my house the cat and dog are so spoiled that a lot of times I find my self squished on the couch between the two of them. However, I am not so freaky that I would allow the same if I have guests.

Mum- Too bad your child didn't receive the hearing aides on Friday. I know that is a frustrating process as my father has to be fitted perfectly. He goes back and forth to the doctors until everything is perfect. Just one more thing. Where is this doggy thread? This who "oodle" phenomena is really absurd, in the sense of the high priced mutts they're producing. I understand the allergies, but I can not rationalize a $1000 + for a golden doodle, labor doodle, or puggle. I'm happy to announce I have not seen a daneydoodle yet. I was writing this when you posted you message. My word, the shortest summer is officially over? I hope that we have, at least, a long, beautiful fall.

Queen- Thinking of you. Sounds like an awful bug or food poisoning? Getting sick is always an inconvenience but especially now that you have appointments regarding the apartment. Are there any kind of restrictions or guidelines you have to follow when finding a place?

Netta- Happy to hear that your DH got the raise despite not getting the promotion. In addition, that there were "halo bending" co workers trying to bring down your husband's reputation by bringing up the past. How much more mean spirited can you get?

I'm busy today but looking forward to it. I have been pretty tired lately, because as I posted early, I've been staying up late and getting up very early. Another reason is I've had this real dedication to watching documentaries on my netflix. HBO has had a few good ones also. One in particular is about honey bee's colony collapse disorder. Honey bees are dying at an exponential rate. They cannot figure out what's killing them and it's getting serious. Owners of bees are having to sell the family business because of a 70 percent death rate in the hives in just over a few months. Not only are families being affected, but the ego system will feel the devastation at unknown proportions if they continue to die off. Another documentary, not so depressing, was "Confessions of a Superhero" It follows four men and women who work as superhero characters on the sidewalks of Hollywood Boulevard. It's making me realize how strange are the lives of others.

Netta, I know you're anxious to get your new puppy. I love shitzus. One of my very good friends has one, and she's just the sweetest thing. I still think it's horrible that someone told the boss about your hubby's past. It's none of their business. Stuff like that pisses me off. How are you feeling by the way? Any better with the eating?

Queen, furniture that gets paid for for HIV+ people? Wow, that's great. You're probably excited about getting a new place-I would be. I really hope you're feeling better today. Yeah, don't let it get out of control if you think it's something that's going to cause problems.

Mum, yeah, with work experiences, people can only do 3. I get paid minimum wage through Goodwill, who got me this work experience. Isn't it ironic-Goodwill won't hire me because of my past, but they will set me up with other places for work experiences. I hope things work out for your youngest daughter with the cleaning out and hearing aids. I remember Debrox, my father used to use that. I hope the doctor can give you a good idea about something that will actually work on your daughter.

Camms, bees disappearing is just more evidence of how polluted this society has become. It is dangerous to lose bees. Think of how they pollinate things and what would happen if they disappeared. I've only seen about 3 or 4 over the summer. Very strange. I've taken to reading biographies, and autobiographies. I just got done reading Kennedy's new book, and it was terrific. I didn't realize how much public service he and his other siblings (especially JFK and Bobby) did. I love reading about other people. About the loveseat, yes, I believe my cat thinks I got her a new bed. She loves to take over things.

Andrea, what's going on with you?

Today I'm not working. All I really have to do is pick up some prescriptions. I'm reading this book about people who have survived horrific situations, and how they did it. It's really quite interesting. This one lady, who was a knitter, went to her knitting group. When she came to the door of the house where the group was being held, she slipped, and the result was that part of a wooden knitting needle went through her sternum and punctured part of her heart. It's just a really good book. I've gotten into reading, and trying to learn more about things and people. As I was telling Camms, I just got done reading Sen. Kennedy's book, and it was a terrific read. I would recommend it to anyone. The Kennedys did so much public service, and were responsible, or co-authored so many bills that benefitted so many people. I admire them very much. I guess that's it for me. You all have a good one.

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Betty, it is just totally outrageous that the goodwill will help with finding work but won't hire you. GRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!! And that's great that you are reading so much. That's something that I need to pick up again. I really like fiction though. I still carry a book in my purse most of time though.

Hi Andrea! It's been a while.

Camms, the whole thing with the bees is really scary. I think I have watched something about it and I really don't think most people know about it or really give a damn if they do know. The consequences will be devastating! Anyway, I hope you get some rest.

Mum, I hope everything works out with the hearing aid and that you start to feel better.

Queen, I'm sorry that you are feeling so crappy. I also don't think that food poisoning should last this long. I hope you get it sorted soon. I also can't wait to get a new computer so I can start gaming again. It's addicting!

Netta, that really sucks about hubby not getting the promotion because of that jackass! I hope you are feeling better.

Sorry if I forgot anyone.

Everything is going OK with me, I'm just really bored! We're kind of homebound as we're pretty broke and we both have cabin fever. My bf also switched his meds from Sustiva and Combivir to Atripla about a week ago. I think he adjusting OK, though he has had an upset stomach the past couple of mornings but that could be stress too.Also, my mom mailed me some home made blueberry jam and zucchini bread several days ago. It is so good and was very nice to get something homemade from her.

On another note, about a month or so ago, I finally got a myspace account. I've been against the whole social networking thing but I thought it would be cool to look up old school mates and have actually contacted a few of them. One of my old friends has a husband and two kids and the other is studying chemical engineering and something else. It's just crazy to see how different we all are now and all of us are on such different paths than I thought they would be. I never thought that my partying friend would be going to school for chemical engineering with a goal of eventually flying into space and my other friend would be married with children and then me getting HIV and always putting my goals for the future on the back burner. I really truly am happy for the both of them. It just really made me reflect on my own life. It made me kinda of depressed but also forcing me to look at my goals again. Strange but in a good way if that makes sense.

Well, I've rambled long enough. You all have a good one.

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Diagnosed July 28th 2003

'I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I just lived the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well.' -Diande Ackerman

'Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is?' -Frank Scully

Well, I am feeling 100 percent better today. I have been up and moving around, doing the laundry with Papi. I blogged. I remember when I use to put out an entry almost every week. Sometimes I feel guilty because I haven't been doing it as much. Not planning on doing much other than just chilling around the house. Maybe I will watch a movie or play one of my games. I haven't really decided yet.

Betty---Yeah, I almost hit the floor too. The same place will also pay part of your rent if you have an income and all of your rent if you don't. But I don't need that since I am on Section 8. It's good to know there are places here that will help. Back home there is only the local ASO and every year it seems like their funding is being cut.

Camms---Not really any restrictions, it seems here I can qualify for up to a 2 bedroom. But I don't really need or want a 2 bedroom. I might consider it should people come to visit me. But then at the same time, it just means more stuff.

Holly--You type so fast. You posted when I was writing but when I started no one else was in this thread. Wow. Is your bf taking meds with food or without? Atripla also does a number on my stomach too. Once I find a new ID doc, I am going to ask to be switched to something else.

Mum--I hated getting my ears cleaned out too. Especially when there is wax on the ear drum, not a nice feeling at all. I don't blame your daughter for hating it. Is there something out there better than Debrox because that doesn't do anything for me either. I use Q-tips from time to time though they say it is not good but what else can I do? I got to get the wax out someway. And if your daughter is having wax problems with her ears now, she may have even more because hearing aids seem to cause wax build up. At least for me it does.

I wish I had better news to greet you all this morning. There is a little girl named Abby who dances with my younger kids on Monday nights. This past Monday, her mom brought her 3mth old baby brother, Riley, to class. He was such a cutie - one of those babies with a perfectly shiny bald head and big ol' toothless smile. I tried holding him in my lap, but he just wanted to stand up and "talk". He was even bouncing around on my lap. Full of energy and drool.

16 1/2 hours later, at 11am yesterday morning, Riley was pronounced dead. Not really sure what happened - information is kind of scattered and fragmented. From what we've pieced together, he woke up Tuesday morning and was having some problems breathing. Because it was early - 7am - the doctor suggested they go to the ER instead of waiting to see him later that day. By 10 am, Riley could only breathe with a respirator and by 11am they pronounced him. He wasn't running any fever and his white count was fine.

The whole thing is so surreal to me. I JUST held that baby and played with him. My kids kissed him on the head before we left. And now he's just gone. I'm still trying to wrap my head around it. The funeral hasn't been scheduled yet, but when they do, I'll go. Wow...

Holly, I understand perfectly being broke. Right now, being that it's the end of the month, I'm broke also. And I hate being broke. That homemade blueberry jam and zucchini bread sounds really good. Enjoy it. And please don't compare yourself to other people on that myspace thing. No one lives the exact duplicate life of someone else. Everyone has their own trials to go through, and you have as well. I mean, it's good that you're looking at your goals again, but don't feel bad.

Queen, yeah, all I have here is an ASO. And they're always broke, and never have anything in their food pantry. I'm glad you're going to be able to get more help there. Maybe someday I'll move to New York. And you're eligible for a 2 br there? Wow, that's great, even if you don't need it now, who knows, maybe someday you'll need it.

Mum, I am so, so sorry about Riley. Things like that seem to defy explanation. I mean, why some people die without warning is a mystery. I hope the family is doing alright, and I'll definitely keep them in my thoughts and prayers. It seems like me saying "I'll keep _____ in my prayers," is becoming a common thing to say lately. I hope everyone's luck, or whatever it may be, starts turning around soon.

Today I'm going to that work experience thing at 2:00 this afternoon. I like it so far. It's something I love, which is working with addicts/alcoholics. The man who I work with is a Pentecostal outreach minister. The organization that we're working with, though, has nothing to do with religion. I told him I used to go to Pentecostal churches (it's true). He asked what made me stop, so I told him, "I don't think women have to wear dresses all the time, no makeup, and no jewelry in order to be saved. And I don't think people have to talk in tongues to be saved." He took that and let it rest. I mean, I believe some people can probably talk in tongues; it's in the Bible. But, I don't think it's a prerequisite to being accepted by God. I remember when I used to go, the pastor at the church I was attending told me that recovering addicts make the best Pentecostals. I'm sure that's true, since their services can be another high. I mean, the services border on hysteria, with everyone running around, falling over and supposedly speaking in tongues etc. Anyway, that's my morning rant for now. You all have a good day.

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Oh Mum- my goodness. How awful. It is sooo horrible reading about you and your kids kissing the baby and this unfortunate situation unfolds. Now the loss and suffering the parents are feeling, you being able to relate, as a mom, must be just devastating. The whole thing just sucks!

Betty- That book regarding people who make lemonade out of lemons sounds fascinating. I have a compulsion to read about the underdog or victim who overcomes their trials and tribulations. What's the name of the book? A bio about the Kennedy's sounds like a good read. I've never been a big fan but I'm used to hearing or reading about their scandalous ways. However, I do like to read about the positive aspects to someone's work so I will put it on the list.

Queen- The combo I'm on is great (Truvada, norvir and reyetaz). I haven't had to deal with any side affects so I'm thinking you might consider it. I also take a probiotic everyday, so maybe that has something to do with it. On the down side, they tend to get pricey, but the Vitamin Shoppe has good deals and competitive pricing. Glad to hear you are back to 100%. I was becoming concerned, especially now that the swine flu is lurking around. They closed the schools, in my former town, because 12 came down with it.

Holly- You should try facebook. I cannot believe how many people I've reconnected to. I was never into the social internet applications but I've had a really good time with this one. As for what you're feeling with friends and "how did I end up here" feeling, I think, is pretty common. When I was first diagnosed that was a big part of my mental ills...comparing myself to others. As time went on, I realized some people out there have it really bad. I think negative people, too, pull out their comparative charts for just about anything. "Who would have thought I would be divorced, who would have thought I'd be pill popper, who would have thought I would get involved in waste management, etc etc, when everyone else has the perfect life. I think it's human nature

My big dilemma recently is snoring. It sounds ridiculous right? But it's becoming an issue with G. Not with him, with me. He just pokes me in the side but I don't want to keep him up and I know that's what's happening. I never dealt with it before. I guess my previous partners were sound sleepers, because this doesn't pop up right away. I've done some research on the internet but I wanted to hear some advice you ladies.

Camms, the Kennedy's "scandalous ways" are mostly bs. Teddy K. talks in his book about Chapaquidick, and after reading the truth about it, I don't see how anyone could hold him in judgement. The Kennedys are responsible for passage of many bills that brought help to many, many people (including the HIV+ community)....the Civil Rights Act, the Americans With Disabilities Act, OSHA, Ryan White Care Act, Special Olympics, increasing minimum wage etc. Some people, especially the far right, would like all America to hold the family in harsh judgement for a few mistakes, and damn them. I say, judge by what they left behind, and what they did for the country when they were here, not by a few mistakes. Otherwise, as I see it, we're all damned.

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Mum- I am so sorry to hear about Riley, what a shock. That is so sad, I will keep him and his family in my prayers.

Camms- Have you tried those breathe right strips that go on the bridge of your nose? I don't have a problem with snoring, I tend to talk, cry and hit in my sleep( I have actually given my SO a couple bruises ).

BT- I just don't understand why they are just looking at your past past and not your recent past. I mean come on, they can't have that many people with records that come in with the degrees you have gotten recently? The sad thing is that you want to work and so many just rather just live off the state. I guess, it is another case of people who don't have a clue making up the rules. Maybe with this new position you are at now, you can meet some contacts to get you in somewhere. My SO's brother and sister in law are both recovering addicts with records and they both go and speak at the prisons and the sister in law has a job helping people just starting in recovery.

Queen- Glad you are feeling better and it is nice to hear that you are liking NYC. That is great that the ASO's are able to provide so much assistance.

Holly- I kind of feel the same way about Facebook, to me, it seems like no really posts if they are having a bad day or bad whatever, it is all about the vacations they are booking and dinners they went out to? Some days I like it, other times it can be depressing. Especially around the end of the month, when I have no money to get food, nevermind extras.

I volunteered at my kids school on all day Monday, yesterday I went to a cookout put on for the volunteers for the place I volunteer for and today I laid low. I have been dog sitting my Mom's dog, she is so goofy. If she could talk I think she would walk around saying, "I'm a happy dog" over and over again. It takes her forever to pee and poop, most dogs you let them out and they pee as soon as they get to "thier" spot, it takes her 15 minutes at least.

Hey everyone!!! So much has been going on! It's nice to see that everyone has a life to report. LOL! I have just been so busy and TIRED. Most of the time I just don't want to do anything beyond check my email and then before I know a week has passed. I started my last master's course so that is overwhelming. Nothing much else. I am really enjoying the 2nd graders.

I just quickly scanned through the other posts and there is way too much to comment on. I hope no one is offended...

Yeah, I'm up early, but I have to be at the work experience at 7:30 this morning, to drive to another town, which is about 45 minutes away. I've already been up about an hour; way too early.

Amy, is Lucas still liking school?

Snow, it's like I keep telling everyone, around here, it's like we're in the heart of the conservative South. People want others who have a record, or anything else out of the ordinary, to pay for the rest of their lives. About this job I'm doing now, the guy I've been working with is real nice; but, I don't know if it's him who does the hiring for these positions of "recovery consultants," or if it's the state. If it's the state, I don't have a chance. I don't remember you ever posting about your volunteer job. You probably did, and my memory is not being kind. What is it you're doing?

Andrea, I'm sure you are tired, taking that course and being a full-time teacher.

Well everyone, have a good day. I'll probably be back later.

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Just got up almost an hour ago. I was up last night til 3 am. My morning ritual is something to drink, a cig, and watch about all of the judge shows. While perusing the the judge shows, I get online, check my email and post here. After that is when I get up and get motivated. Not much going on for today. Papi and I may go to the movies but that is still up in the air.

Tendai--Good to see you. And what do you mean you're an idiot? Now why would you say that?

Camms--My bf snores loud too. But when I take my hearing aids out, I don't hear anything. Maybe your friend could wear ear plugs, that's what my bff does cause her bf snores. Or have one tried those breathing strips you put on your nose. Not sure if it works but it was invented by a guy who snores.

Snow--U volunteering somewhere? I totally missed that too. How do you like it?

BT & Queen- I have been volunteering for a couple of years now. I found the place when I was leaving the my sons boy scout council. I was taking a 93 women to the library, to do her laundry, grocery shopping and I did yard work for her but she passed this last Christmas. The other lady I started out decorating her Christmas tree because she she had fallen and broke her hip and arm. She has cancer that is in remission but I have realized that she drinks alot and she also smokes? I went to her house again today and cleaned and organized her pantry and then took her to Costco.

I hope everyone has a good night, my son has football practice so that is all I am doing.

Hello all,Mums- so sad to here about the baby Riley, you all and his family is in my prayers. Wonder what happened.? an allergic reaction? phenmonia?? Hope the doctors find out.

Nothing much happening with me feeling better and eating better since i stopped the nexium for my stomach. i have been having pain in my feet and toes, Have an appiontment with my rhermatoligist on tuesday. EXcuse my spelling. I think it is nerapathy. which is common in Hiv people. this can be a side effect from meds. Other than that I'm fine. My dd birthday is Friday ,she will be 30 yrs. old! i am getting old. lolOH on another topic, My oldest dear sister's and late brothers' father passed in August, My mothers first husband, after suffering with alzheimer. My ds could not go to the funeral, because of finances, and lived so far away. Her aunt was so rude, they didn't even send an obituary! You all know my dear brother passed in March, of this year, Ironically six months before his father, Well my sister found the obituary online and no mention of my brother! only my sister!!! this has me boiling madd!!! >:(also my brothers was named, middle name after his father!! is this crazy or what??? MY brother flew to Georgia from Conn. to visit his sick father many times, and family even though he was sick himself!Do you think it was because he was gay, and had aids??? i hope not.

Camms- My dh snores like crazy! ,we have tried the breathing strips, works a little, He bought me earplugs!Snow- did you say you do volunteer work? how sweet of you!

Queen- excited for you and your new apartment!

Vivt- god bless you , we understand how busy you are these days. take time out to smell the roses.Tendai- don 't breat yourself up, whatever the case.Shout out to all!

Tendai, so good to hear from you. I'm with Queen and Snow-what's with the idiot comment?

Queen, the work experience goes something like this- vocational rehab helped pay for some of my school. When that happens, they set people who have used them up with some job search people. Mine happen to be at Goodwill. I picked there, because one of the ladies I'm working with used to work at the ASO here. Anyway, the job search people set me up with what are called work experiences. That's working with local social service organizations, and I get paid minimum wage through Goodwill, and I believe Voc. rehab reimburses Goodwill probably. There can be 3 job experiences (this is my 3rd one) and they only last for a month. The last organization I worked with, I stayed on and volunteered at. I don't think there's volunteer opportunities for the organization I'm working with now, because there's a lot of filling out papers, and being that I'm not an employee of the organization, I can't fill out any papers. Did you and Papi go see any movies yesterday?

Snow, I believe it helps the soul to volunteer. I think that's really great of you. I love volunteering.

Netta, I'm glad you're able to eat better without the Nexium. I have neuropathy, and it can be quite painful. Just last night, even though I'm on meds for it, it felt like I was having a nail drilled into one of my toes. Sometimes it feels like electrical shocks in the feet. I hope you're able to get some help for it.

I'm meeting the man from the organization I'm working with this morning at 8:00 at a coffee shop. He usually sees people, who are trying to get on the program, there (at the coffee shop). It's a pretty good organization I believe. It's called Access to Recovery. It pays for a variety of things-outpatient treatment, transitional housing, some counseling etc. It has a cap on how much it will pay per person. I like it so far. I think that's it for now. I hope you all have a good day.

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

What a week and I'm glad it's over. The viewing for baby Riley is today from 10-noon. The funeral was a "family only" at the graveyard, but they've decided to open it to the public. I just can't imagine. The autopsy was Wednesday, but so far no one knows what the "official" cause of death was. The whole thing blows my mind.

Wed. our youngest got her hearing aide. Then, she proceded to scream and cry (think foaming at the mouth screaming - like she was being tortured) for a solid 3hrs. I had to pull over into a parking lot, crack the windows a bit, and get out of the car. I stood by her window so she could see me and not freak out, but I needed some seperation.

Just as she was starting to settle down, the delivery guys came with the girls' new beds. Instead of turning into our driveway in front of our barn (we moved the cars out of the way, down the hill) then backing up the truck to the house, the idiot driver turned too soon and nosed the truck smack into the revine! 3 hour later, the tow truck shows up and pulls them out. I wanted to scream.

Yesterday I did laundry all day. But, I got it done, folded, and all put away. This morning I've got to get everyone packed for the weekend. Hubby and I leave this afternoon for Toledo to pick up our newest member . Hubby packed all his books so he can study. I packed a little, black, slinky number - we'll see who wins.

That's all from this side of the mountain. Still getting used to it being pitch black at 7am and getting dark again by 7:30pm. Make it a good weekend. Hopefully I'll be able to post pictures of our new baby by Monday. By "I'll", I really mean "Hubby'll".

thanks for all the advice. I went out and bought the snore strips and they are working. I saw the commercial once and thought it was just another goofy product.

Mum- I'm glad that this is the weekend that you are picking up the little one, with no name....or I should say...only you hold the secret as the beholder of the name. I think it's time just to get out of town even if it's just for a day. Can't wait to see the pics.

Netta- Sorry to hear about the discomfort in your feet and toes. Is it a nerve pain or joint?

Betty- Good luck with the meeting today. Sounds like a great program.

Not much to report. My uncle passed away so I will be busy with wakes and funeral business this weekend.

Betty- what's the name of the book about the people overcoming bad situations? As far a the media's depiction of people and families of power, they mostly always focus on the notorious behavior of the individuals or group. Yes, it one sided and not limited to a particular political party. My goodness, just watch the history channel. So many of their documentaries are "dirty little secrets". Ah but that's the crappy media.

Snow- How old is the woman who you are caring for now....the one in remission from cancer.

Welcome back Sweet C.

I just received in Netflix "Grizzly Man", the story about Timothy Treadwell a bear enthusiast. I had scene it a few years back but wanted to view it again. The director is Werner Hertzog, a very peculiar filmmaker who narrates the film, interjected with his own feelings toward Treadwell. I believe it's been on Animal Planet so some of you may have seen it.

Has anyone had a chance to see the new Michael Moore film?

Well, I bought ear plugs for him and it's so so. The strips aren't working. I will have to revisit my options..sigh.

Camms, it's called "The Survivor's Club" and it's by Ben Sherwood. About the media and people in "power," I think we can usually sort out truth from over-blown circumstances, that are not told at 100% clarity by newspeople. Yeah, the Kennedys had some flaws, but their public service, and the things they did for this country far, far outweigh their mistakes. Unlike Bush, who not only declassified the info that got the CIA agent's identity publicly known, and also starting a war based on deception told to the American people. A war that has cost trillions, and a lot of lives. Big difference. Sorry, I don't know what to tell you about the snoring. I don't know if I snore or not, but I do know I've woke myself up at times talking in my sleep. I hope things work out.

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Mum- I can't wait to see pictures of your new member! It makes me want to get another dog until I look at the one I have and change my mind...LOL!

Betty- I saw a program on MTV the other day which focused on tattoos. They were young people who were dealing with the problems that the tattoos caused them. One guy was getting them removed so he could get a better job. Anyways....it made think of you. Has anything turned around for you?

Queen- So....are you enjoying New York?

Camms- Ok...I missed a lot obviously. Do you have a boyfriend?

Netta- I am glad you are feeling better.

Tendai- What's going on?

Sweet C- Hello

Well I went to a new ID doctor on Thursday and I just love him! Totally different then the one I have been seeing. He was very thorough and explained everything in great detail. I think he is going to be much better. Today I am just going to be doing my homework...

Betty- thanks, hopefully I will be able to pick it up this week. Good Lord, don't even get me started on Bush. What a waste......

Viv- Yes, I have a new guy. He was my first boyfriend and first love when I was in high school / college. He moved away to san fran for 15 years and we recently reconnected. It's really wonderful and I'm happier than I've been in a very long time.

We are back home after 2 very long days. Our baby is such a sweet heart. She rode in my lap the whole 6 hr trip home. She's red with some pink splotches. Her hair is white with some auburn streaks. She's a lip-lover I took several pictures but Hubby is catching up on his school work and studying for tests, so you'll have to wait until tomorrow for pictures. I have some of her growling at herself in my mirror. She was funny. She was walking into our bedroom, did a double-take at her reflection, then started growling at it. Then, during dinner, she took to growling and barking at a tissue box. Definately not the brightest bulb in the cubbard.

Oh, yeah, her name is (drum roll....) The Contessa Ava Camille Rose. We're calling her Ava.

I was hoping we wouldn't have to crate her, but not long after being home, she peed on the living room carpet. So, when we're not home, she'll have to go in her crate. The breeder said that Ava is used to being crated at night to sleep, but she sure didn't act like she was real happy about it tonight. She didn't fuss, but she put up a good struggle. I haven't heard from her, so I assume she's fallen asleep.