Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Still on a Rampage

Maybe just a funk. I should amend yesterdays post to read that two people I care about are now wearing shoes that shouldn't fit. I hate that. Normally, I talk to Mr X at night. Even nights he's been working on the downstairs rooms, he still takes time to listen. But I couldn't. I couldn't open my mouth. It's not him. I know he'll listen and understand. I just couldn't do it. I felt drained and tired. Then guilty because I don't know why. I do and I don't really.I hate feeling helpless. I feel that way so often lately. Like I want so badly to do something positive but just can't.I know what I really want to do and I will. I just have to find the courage to bring it up to her. I also need to find the right words. It can't be too long if she says it's ok. I know, this is scattered and I'm not making much sense. I'll get back to my normal self, whatever that is, eventually.