How Can You Spot a Real Engineer?

Can you think of anything you've seen someone do that's made you say "Now, that is someone I call an engineer!"?

There were several interesting comments with regard to my recent blog Does It Really Take an Engineer to Pack a Dishwasher? Barton Meeks explained how his daughter -- a ceramic artist -- attacked the dishwasher-packing problem by creating a beautiful set of dishes custom-designed to fit her dishwasher.

Aubrey Kagan (a.k.a. Antedeluvian) responded, "Because I don't have the facility to make my own plates, the last time we bought a dishwasher I took along a few of my problematic dishware items to try them out for fit in the store."

All I can say is, "Wow!" Taking my dishes along to the store is something that would simply never have struck me. I would add that if it had struck me, we wouldn’t have purchased the expensive piece of %$#! we ended up with, but let's not go there.

Aubrey went on to say, "I also take a few empty suitcases along to see how they would fit in the trunk of a new car." Once again I have to say, "Wow!" If ever I heard about a pragmatic approach to a problem that made me think, "That person truly is an engineer," this would rank right up there in the top 10.

All of this let me to ponder the question: How do you know if you are in the presence of a real engineer?

I'm not talking about the usual stereotypes here, like the hunched shoulders, or nervous twitches, or awkward shyness in social situations. (Do you remember the old joke? Q: How do you know if an engineer is outgoing and gregarious? A: He looks at your shoes rather than his own!)

No! What I'm talking about is that je ne sais quoi that sets us engineers apart from the rest of the world -- that certain something that marks us as being different from the hoi polloi, that indefinable aura of raw power that marks us as masters (and mistresses) of the multi-universe, that… I'm sorry. I'm afraid I'm getting a little carried away with the excitement of the moment. I guess what I'm really talking about is the "knack."

Can you think of anything you've seen someone do, or heard of someone doing, that has made you say to yourself: "Now, that is someone I call an engineer!"?

My friend Ernesto had a problem with his cable service. When the technician came round he Ernesto connected up a spectrum analyser to a) show the problem to the technician and b) to check that the problem had been corrected.

Well... yes... OK... I can't argue with that... but... sometimes things just sound better on the ear one way rather than another. For example, if I read (or heard someone say)...

That must make him one of Hoi Polloi.

... then this would grate on my sensibilities somewhat, whereas...

That must make him one of the Hoi Polloi.

...would be more acceptible to me. On the other hand, I certainly wouldn't want to imply in any way that the Three Stooges were less than masters of the pidgin language laughingly referred to as American English.

I don't know how to spot a real engineer, but sometimes my wife finds herself explaining something technical to family or friends. And then she follows that with, "And the scary part is that I knew that." Pretty hilarious.

@Bert: And then she follows that with, "And the scary part is that I knew that." Pretty hilarious.

That reminds me of the later episodes of "The Big Bang Theory" when Penny says something pertaining to Star Trek or Physics and then goes "OMG, where did that come from." (Or when she uses a long word and then turns to the other two girls who nod to show she used it correctly / appropriatly)

My son is a graphics hardware validation driver developer at Intel. When he eats pancakes, he slices them very perfectly in one direction, then he slices them in the opposite direction. At the end of this, he has perfectly square (almost) pancakes to eat. He does this every time.