Wesley Lavender: Caught Showering After Taking a Hummer from a Woman Who Left It Running to Buy Cigarettes

A woman in a Hummer stopped at a gas station to pick up some smokes and left her SUV running in the parking lot. This sounds an awful lot like the first line in a really weird joke, but it's actually something that happened, according to a report in the Corpus Christi Caller-Times.

A 55-year-old woman made a pit stop at a Chevron in Corpus Christi last Thursday afternoon so she could buy some cigarettes. She thought to herself, "Who would possibly be dumb enough to steal a Hummer in broad daylight? It's like the biggest damn car on the planet." So, naturally, she left it running.

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Predictably, when she exited the store, the Hummer was gone. When an officer arrived on the scene and checked the surveillance tapes, he recognized the 22-year-old man who drove off in the car from an earlier disturbance call. Shocking.

Not long after that, the Hummer was spotted at the Sun Suites motel, about ten miles north of the spot where it was stolen. Police no doubt descended upon the motel with S.W.A.T.-team like efficiency and found the suspect, Wesley Lavender (not a clever nickname), in his room taking a shower. We get it, dude. Getting a Hummer from a 55-year-old woman in a Chevron parking lot can make you feel nasty.

Lavender is now drying off in Nueces County Jail on suspicion of unauthorized use of a motor vehicle. Bail was set at $2,500, but he was being held on a motion to revoke probation thanks to a related robbery case. At least he's physically clean.

Jeff Balke is a writer, editor, photographer, tech expert and native Houstonian. He has written for a wide range of publications and co-authored the official 50th anniversary book for the Houston Rockets.