Author's note: This was written for my own amusement. You see, even though I have a crush on Tony, I never had my simself date him in the game. It's like forbidden zone for me. Some things are only meant to dream about. In this interlude you'll see why.

Interlude: Why can't there be a happy ending​

Normally, I don't do this. I don't insert myself into the story. It's against everything I believe. It's wrong. It's against the natural flow of the story. You just don't talk to the characters and disturb them and cause disillusion. But the readers made me do it. Yes, the readers are to blame.

So here I am. In his favourite bar. I could have gone to Beryl, I could have totally done that. Yes. But that would be boring. I have every right to choose! It's my story!

And he's sitting exactly where I placed him. My heart rate is already elevated. I knew this would happen, but it can't prevent me from presenting my offer to him. Nothing to be afraid of. The bloody hands cc has been removed off him as well as any bad mood buff.

I sit next to him. "Hey, Tony!" I say trying to sound as confident as possible.​

He frowns at me. "Do I know you?" he asks in a deep voice, that awakens the butteflies in my stomach."Oh, you don't. But I know you and everything about you.""I seriously doubt that.""Well, for starters, today you were in a mood for a nice walk in a park, but then you suddenly decided to come to this club, even though you have been avoiding this place for months. That was my doing. But no worries, we are alone. The sexy dancer you're hiding from isn't coming. And she wasn't trying to take your relationship to the next level, by the way.""I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Nevermind. I'm here to make you an offer, Tony. Listen, people really like you..."He cocks an eyebrom at me. "They do? Since when?""Well, at the place where I come from people really like you. We... They think you're funny and dangerously handsome and they want you to marry Beryl Heffner and live with her and your son and have more babies with her.""Uh-huh. And what did you say your name was?""I didn't tell you my name, but you can call me Maladi.""Malady, hmm. That explains a lot. Your parents, they didn't like you very much, did they?""Why? No, you got it wrong. I picked the name myself.""I see.""I think I need a drink.""I can make you one. The bartender doesn't seem to come today anyway.""That's because I made this lot residential. She can't come unless we hire her by phone.""What?""The drink, if you please."​

"Any special orders?""I don't know. Anything with the little umbrella in it."​"Alrighty then."

"An umbrella drink for lady Malady.""Thank you."While I sip from the drink, Tony makes himself one too. Maybe drinking wasn't such a good idea. My tolerance to alcohol is low and I already feel my head spinning and my cheeks burning.

"Let's sit somewhere more comfortable and hear your offer," Tony suggests watching me all the time like some kind of failed experiment."Yes, the... the offer," I mumble moving to the sofa. "I really love you. I mean the readers. Yes, the readers really love you. They think you're...""Dangerously handsome, yeah. I've already heard that part.""So here's the deal. I spend a night with you. You know in the readers behalf...""Uh-huh. In the reader's behalf, got it.""Exactly! And then I'll arrange for you and Beryl to be happy. I'll clear you off all charges so that the police won't be looking for you anymore and you'll be able to move in with Beryl. Your enemies will die in a house fire, Beryl's fiancé will fall in love with another girl so there'll be no wedding," I count on my fingers.

"And how are you going to make that happen?" Tony asks with rapt attention.​"Oh, that's easy. I'll just write it down and it will happen.""No," he says."No?" I repeat after him unbelievingly."You're not my type," he declares.​Wait a minute. "You're a sim. You don't have a type! You are supposed to be able to fall in love even with a green alien mutant spitted out of CAS! I'm not even green for that matter!"​

"I'm sorry to disappoint you, Malady. That's my final answer.""Tony, you need to be reasonable. You have no idea what dark future awaits you. And your loved ones. What is one night comparing to the dangers you'll all face. You didn't mind sleeping with that dancer for plum's sake!""I just don't like you."He just broke my heart and everyone witnessed it. Okay, time for a little cheating. Let's pour some romance points into this heartless sexy bunch of pixels. Typing furiously: modifyrelationship Maladi Simself Tony Corleonesi 100 Romance_Main. ​

But something is wrong. Instead of having his romance bar filled to the max he gained the angry buff for 12 hours. What the plum? "I'm not spending a night with you!" he yells at me."Okay!" I yell back. "Remember our conversation when you're down on your knees scared to death not knowing whether your family is alive or not! You had your chance!""You need a medical help, lady.""No, I need to delete my simself," I grumble leaving the club.

END of this terrible terrible experiment... (but the legacy goes on, don't worry!)

Note: Tony and I have strictly platonic relationship in my game. As long as I keep out of his way everything is perfect. When I start getting ideas he throws cold water on me. Yeah, keep dreaming, girl. Maybe in someone else's story my simself will get lucky... ;o)