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May192015

It's All Up to Latisse and Whitestrips Now

Turn on your mental movie, and play this: the hard-dancing audition scene of A Chorus Line, with everyone getting sweatier and more flexible while we watch in amazement. And the running and punching sides of beef part of Rocky where he's high-fiving everyone on his regular workout route while "Gonna Fly Now" plays. And the sweat-flying, feet-running-super-fast-in-place, "Maniac"-playing part of Flashdance. And the part in Pretty Woman where Julia Roberts tries on ALL THOSE CLOTHES. I LOVE a movie with a time-passes-before-our-very-eyes scene, complete with a magical physical change. Or makeover. Same thing, right?

So, that's how I imagined my spring would be. I would be sweating up a storm with a determined gleam in my eye, high-fiving my regulars as I ran (Yes, ran. Dream with me a minute.) down Belmont Boulevard, possibly baring my midriff as time wore on to reveal my ripped abs. I would get my splits and my grand jete back, natch. I would hurriedly down a healthy, blender-borne concoction on my way out the door to another fulfilling workout. I would somehow get a healthy tan, and my hair would be sun-streaked (Dream, please.). I started all of this on March 12th, the day after my birthday. By Memorial Day weekend, I'd be right there, goals reached, muscles rippling in the sunlight. No problem. Short term goals are my thing. It's the long term stuff that derails me, like "What do you want to be doing this time next year?" Too far away. Too much focus required. Too long term.

Willow Pilates studio, where I work, had a two-day photo shoot last week. And I am a mere 10 days away from a fitness presentation at a conference in California. These were the motivators behind my scheme, to be completed by Memorial Day. Needless to say, my hair not being sun-streaked is the least of my disappointments. For the first 30 days or so, I powered through hunger (relying heavily on caffeine) and the multiple tears in both my menisci (Who knew that was the plural of meniscus? Go figure.), only to gain 2 pounds. At least it was only 2. The ensuing 35 days or so have produced a 3 pound weight loss, with spotty dieting. So a net loss in over 60 days of ONE *%#@$!ING POUND. A very hard-earned 1 pound at that. By the time of the photo shoot last week, I had to face the inevitable: it's too late for anything but Latisse and Crest Whitestrips.

Or not. I have made my peace with my caffeine dependency for now. I have been diligent about my countertop push ups and dips. I have realized that not all exercise makes my knees worse. I have finally scheduled knee surgery, and am kinda relieved about it. So the as-yet-unmet short term goals of getting in shape by spring are still in the works, now with an eye to going into surgery as fit as possible. Because even though they don't say it out loud, physical therapists are judging our performance. I am gonna blow the doors off that competition. Fighting through fitness with an ever-slowing metabolism? That might just be my first real long term goal. 5-6-7-8!