This Week In The Laboratories Of Democracy

Being our semi-regular weekly survey of what's goin' down in the several states where, as we know, the real work of governmentin' gets done and where you rest in the field far from the turbulent space.

Let us begin this week in the state of Washington, where the Mariners are done, and the weed is legal, which is a good thing for the fans of the Mariners. Naturally, the folks there are interested in gauging the impact of the new law and in carefully measuring the gangafication of the populace. The law's author has an interesting suggestion in that regard.

The main author of a Washington state law that legalized recreational marijuana said on Wednesday that testing sewage for the active ingredient in pot could give municipalities a broader and more reliable picture of drug use than traditional surveys. Alison Holcomb, who is also an American Civil Liberties Union attorney, said wastewater analysis for psychoactive THC could provide policymakers crucial data at a time of sweeping shifts in marijuana policy in U.S. states and cities. "Using wastewater data to actually get a baseline of what drug use looks like in various communities over time can help us develop more sound drug policies," Holcomb told Reuters. "It's too easy for surveys to be skewed."

As you know, here at the blog, we back up to nobody in our devotion to science, and we believe that, in a time of widespread unemployment, the stimulative effect of public-sector work should be encouraged, but despite these two deeply held convictions, we still feel safe in telling Ms. Holcomb.

You first.

Let us saddle up with ol' Panama Red, and ride in a posse over to the state of Virginia, where longtime wingnut ratfker Barbara ("I Am Hillary!) Comstock is running for Congress. Comstock, who voted for the mandatory ultrasound anti-choice bill back when Governor Bob McDonnell was still on the grift, is trying to make up for that with the latest conservative scam -- "supporting" the availability of contraception over the counter, despite the faint cries of the snowflake babies who now will not exist. The crowd went wild. Then the crowd went stupid.

Just minutes later, local community leader Chuck Pearce took the microphone to auction off donated items. Holding up a floral patterned purse, Pearce joked: "Get this for your wife and then you can watch as much football as you want!" When offering up a set of beer glasses decorated with owls, he offered: "When your wife says you've had too much to drink, now you can tell her, 'I don't give a hoot!'" He later shared that he bought a GPS for his car, but took it back to the dealer because he "didn't want another woman telling me what to do!"

Two questions: 1) can't this guy, for my sake, change his goddamn name? And, 2) will I never stop despairing of the rebranding?

It's a fair question, since records show Myalls has voted in both Illinois and Wisconsin in recent years. In one case, she cast a vote in a primary election in Illinois. Then just three months later, records show she voted in Wisconsin to cast a ballot in the state's recall election. The effort was aimed largely at recalling Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker - someone with whom Myalls is pictured on her Facebook page. Myalls then voted in Wisconsin's presidential general election in 2012 before returning to Illinois to vote the following spring. When asked about her vote in the Walker recall, Myalls said in a phone interview: "No. I don't think I did," she said. "I don't think they canceled my registration up in Fontana. And that may be what you're seeing. They didn't automatically cancel it."

Funny. People seem to think you did.

Myalls voted in Wisconsin's presidential election on Nov. 6, 2012. This year's election is Nov. 4 - seeming to fall just short of the full two years.

Why, yes, that does seem to fall short of the full two years because, well, math, that's why.

Meanwhile, cogitating ergo being, we find ourselves in the Commonwealth (God save it!) where onetime Republican golden-opportunity squandering retread Republican Charlie Baker is running against onetime Democratic golden-opportunity squandering retread Democrat Martha Coakley to be our next governor. Baker, it appears, has fallen into what we can now call the Comstock Lode, never to return.

Baker, the Republican candidate for Massachusetts governor, was answering questions from a group of journalists when Fox 25 political reporter Sharman Sacchetti began to ask a question about Democratic criticisms. "Democrats are saying, they just put out an email-" Saccheti began before being interrupted. "Ok, this is going to be the last one, sweetheart," Baker said, patting her on the shoulder. "Sweetheart?" Saccheti responded. "I'm kidding," Baker said.

Don't sweat it, honeybun.

In addition to despairing of the rebranding, again, I am terribly afraid that, given the demonstrated mad political skillz of both candidates, this may be the first election in history to end in a scoreless tie.

And we conclude, as we always do, in the great state of Oklahoma, where Official Blog E-Mail Archivist Friedman Of The Plains -- and a shana tova to you and yours, fella -- passes along the fascinating tale of how innovation has become the key to how Oklahoma kills people. First, there's this guy, who learned his chemistry as a child by blowing up the cat.

Oklahoma state Rep. Mike Christian tells Der Spiegel that using nitrogen gas for executions is painless, fast, and "cheaper than the bullets you need for the firing squad." Death by the gas is "the most humane way to die," says Christian. "You just sit there and a few minutes later, you're dead," he says, predicting that the untested execution method would definitely meet Supreme Court standards. For executions with the gas, inmates would either be placed in airtight chambers or have a plastic sack put over their heads.

That a guy named Christian was talking to Der Spiegel about how humane gassing people to death is is so inherently full of punchlines that it can make you dizzy. Of course, Mister Christian wasn't always so fastidious.

Christian-a former Oklahoma Highway Patrol trooper who looked into execution methods after the state's botched execution of inmate Clayton Lockett earlier this year-will present his findings at a hearing today, the Oklahoman reports. But Der Spiegel questions how sincere his desire to find a painless execution method is, noting that after the Lockett execution, he said he didn't care if executions were carried out by "lethal injection, the guillotine, or if we feed them to lions."

That a guy named Christian is talking about feeding people to lions...oh, forget it. Wait, someone else in Oklahoma has a better idea!

Speaking during a Budget Board meeting, Yazel prefaced his remarks by saying that in the 1970s an official he described as a black Los Angeles mayor proposed hanging kidnappers in the city square as a way to end hijackings. The mayor "said why don't we just a hang a couple of these people in the city square and that will put a stop to it; maybe that would put a stop to some of the crime in Tulsa County," Yazel said.

The county assessor wants to hang people? Thinking of adding a pool deck? Fill out that form correctly or we'll string you up, pilgrim.

This is your democracy, America. Cherish it.

Charles P. PierceCharles P Pierce is the author of four books, mostly recently Idiot America, and has been a working journalist since 1976.

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