Editor’s Note: This is a guest post by Candice Pascoal, founder of Masters Channel.

______________________________________________

“Every stress leaves an indelible scar, and the organism pays for its survival after a stressful situation by becoming a little older.” ~ Hans Selye

Stress can come from a variety of places in our lives. Work deadlines. Traffic. Bills. Arguments with a significant other or a friend. When we’re stressed, we feel less happy – and may take it out on ourselves by eating less healthy foods, smoking, or drinking.

While it’s not possible to live a 100% stress-free life, you can help reduce some of the day-to-day stress you experience – leading to a happier, healthier you. It doesn’t necessarily take a major life overhaul either. Just a few small changes can lead to a major overall impact.

Make time for fun

No matter how busy you are, there’s always time to have fun. Whether you set aside a few minutes to watch a funny YouTube video or take the time to play with your dog, it’s essential to enjoy the little moments in life. Remember the old saying, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy”?

When you take your mind off whatever is stressing you out and focus completely on the fun you’re having, you’ll become more successful in the long run. At the end of your life, you’ll likely not wish you spent more time at work. But you may wish you had had more fun.

Do one thing at a time

Many of us think that multi-tasking is a desirable habit. However, trying to do two or three things at once can make us frantic and worn out – ultimately taking us longer to complete our to-do lists than if we had just done one thing at a time.

There’s nothing wrong with working at a slow and steady pace, focusing on one project or aspect of your life at a time before moving onto the next. As humans, that’s how we were meant to operate. If you’re driving, just drive. If you’re on the phone, just talk. Don’t feel the need to do both.

Stop trying to control the uncontrollable

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could make everything go your way, all the time? Of course it would! However, no individual person is in charge of every single aspect of their lives, especially the way other people act. People, situations, weather – when we worry about things beyond our control, we become more anxious than we need to be.

All you can control is yourself, and your reactions to the uncontrollable. Instead of trying to control how other people act, control how you react to them. You’ll be much happier in the long run.

Have realistic expectations

We should always set high standards and have high expectations for ourselves – but not so high they become unrealistic.

So while you should expect the best from yourself, you should not set up unrealistic expectations on the specifics of becoming the best you can be. When you set up unrealistic expectations, you set yourself up for failure and disappointment. Always go for realistic and achievable goals. They’re healthy for your physical and emotional well-being.

YOUR TURN!

How do you keep your stress to a minimum?

Leave us a comment to let us know!

_____________________________________________________________

Candice Pascoal is the founder of Masters Channel, an online destination for life-changing classes on spirituality, self-help and personal empowerment. She invites you to join the Masters Channel community by visiting the website, subscribing to classes, or following them on Twitter!

55 Comments

Make time for fun! I love this concept. For those of us who live by our To Do list (I’m speaking to myself), one of the best things we can do is to actually block days or hours out of our schedule and put them on our calendar for Fun Time. Lately I’ve been doing the same things for Friends time. Thanks for the encouragement!Steve Borgman recently posted … Get Wealthy Health Manifesto: What To Eat To Be Healthy

Steve, I am a list addict too 🙂 It helps me get all done in a day with the intensity I always like to devote to each part of my life: wife, mother, business owner, sister, daughter, friend, you get the picture 😉 One thing I’ve started to add to my list (especially when I am on vacation) is: “Time for nothing”. I literally write, for example: To do: Nothing, 3pm-5pm. It doesn’t mean I can’t be spontaneous and just do nothing or just have fun at certain times, but what this means is that I want to secure that time on my agenda. What happens next, only I life will tell 🙂 Cheers, C.

I’m with you, Steve. I have lists for the lists I’ve listed on lists! Well, perhaps I’m not that carried away, but close.

I have a barely contained workaholic running a mile-a-minute inside me, so scheduling time for fun and friends has been a challenge for me too.

For me, it’s a little tough to separate work and fun because I have such a blast teaching (my day job) and writing and interacting here. So where does work end and fun begin?

Having a 6-year-old boy helps to have fun too. We do a lot of wrestling, kicking a ball around in the backyard (when it’s not 100 degrees outside!), playing Star Wars and making LEGO creations and the like. BTW: As a non-6-year-old, I still love LEGO! 🙂

But I still do see the value in scheduling regular time for other activities that don’t involve sitting cross-legged on the floor with toys in front of me. 😉

Susan, you’re the sweetest. So glad to have crossed your way.
Go on your cruise, enjoy your time, and forget the world outside of YOU.
The “world” will be here, and most of it will be the exact same, when you’re back 😉 However long you take… 🙂
Here’s one “to do” for your cruise, if you just can’t take not “having something to do”: make it a goal to do nothing. To just be. Trust me, it is harder than you’d imagine. But it is feasible and it is life changing.
This will add so many GOOD years to your life…
So often we go on vacation just to come back even more tired, or the same…
Make it a goal to come back TRANSFORMED.
Much Love,
CandiceCandice recently posted … Find the Partner You Really Want With These Simple Steps

By leaving unnecessary stuff undone, and focusing on things that make me grateful. That reduces the workload to one fifth of the usual. Then there are a few errands, but they’re quickly dealt with.
It takes some analysis, also swot, but it is well worth the effort.

It appears that the busy work that doesn’t interest me, doesn’t interest anyone else, either. Complete stealth, nobody even …. realized I’ve stop doing all that trivial stuff. Bummer. But very nice.

Doing the dishes is a happy thing, some times at least. I like to remind myself that I am manly enough to do what a man has to do, and it aint reloadin’ the Winchester and shoot them redskins, it’s more in the of feedin’ the horse and keeping my feet clean. To wash the single bowl after a mornings oatmeal or cornflakes, just to get ready for all the physical things that has to be done, is a quiet joy. The inner clear mountain stream, the chill of the morning, the freshness of a clear sky. It’s within cleaning the one bowl. The rest I clear of or stack in the machine to surprise my wife.
Paying bills? I leave that to my wife, she whom must be obeyed at all times. I sometimes ask for thumbs up/down as to the general state of affairs; if down, I make some more money and hand it over. If up, buy something silly for my pc or phone.
The bowl in the morning is among the joyful 20% of my life, bills and money I would rather forget, and therefore naively leave to someone else.
I believe we can drop the stupid 80% in favor of expanding the good 20% to maybe 35 or 40%, and thus getting much more out of life. It like money in the end of the month, the 29th we got two dollars and 6o cents. If we started out with say 800$ discretionary money, a 600$ addition is a massive sum because it adds itself to the last 2$. That will be felt!
So too with what we do. And off course, mostly doing what we really like, still leaves a fes things that we must do, little errands and such. But cheer up, it’s ok. What would the world be like without toilet paper?

My wife is the bills-payer in the family too. She used to be in banking so all the numbers and payment schedules and all come much more naturally to her. Thankfully! You have a great attitude about washing dishes and other menial tasks. Like I said, I’m taking notes! 😉

I’m currently writing a book on the subject, but in Danish. Maybe I should take the plunge and do it in English? But writing that much all by my lonesome in a forreign laguage is a little scary. Well, all this blogging stuff is much more fun than I thought it would be, so I suspect something will happen. Maybe it could find more readers than my mum and my cousin if I wrote it in a language spooken by so many more people? Any kind advice?

That’s awesome, Erik! I wonder how many great works of art, b est sellers and compositions have been left unpainted, unwritten and unscored by those who never got around to doing the writing and scoring and painting. I wish you the best with your book. As for advice, I don;t have much, though I’m sure there’s some great advice waiting to be read online written by those who have more experience in such things. Your English seems fine, though you would want to get an editor to help you along. People can be unforgiving readers with just the smallest handful of grammatical inconsistencies and awkward phrasing. And then there’s my ignorance of the market. What’s the Danish market like for books about stress? It may be untouched or saturated or something in between. But you’re right about the huge English-speaking market.

Well, I suppose I walked you around the block and ended up going nowhere with that. Bottom line, you’d be better served asking someone who knows the publishing industry better.

But if you do the research, and write something that’s hugely helpful to people in need of the help, you could do wonderfully no matter the language you write in.

Erik, I fully agree with Ken!
My mother tongue is not English either, but I constantly write in English. I have a proofreader review my writing for mistakes. If you have something you feel the world should hear, don’t let anything prevent it 😉 We need people like you, and I’m sure a lot of folks would benefit from what you have to say. Warmly, CandiceCandice recently posted … If You Knew Then… How to Forgive Yourself for the Past

great post!
thanks for the tips
i also would like to add another one, Avoid what stresses you out (if its possible)
if for example you can drive at times where there is no traffic jam then rearrange your life to avoid traffic jam stressfarouk recently posted … Why can jealous people find you unattractive

I agree with Candice that your reply could be its own post. As a matter of fact, we are a culture of bandaid solutions. We want the pill to pop, the strategy to employ and the 3 steps to happiness or health or success to follow … as long as none of the steps require much from us!

We seldom think about actually changing anything about ourselves, our attitudes, our lifestyles, our habits to live with less stress or anger or whatever.

Funny thing with bandaids. If you got a stone (peble..?) in your shoe, it sometimes looks as if we try to solve the pain with endless “solutions” of bandaids, more leather, webbing, polish … all sorts of the things. Our shoe with the tiny piece of rock in it, tripples in size….But the pain remains, and and I truly believe that the kids are laughing at us.

We cannot progress in our lives because of it. The liitle piece of rock in our soul’s shoe. We must finde the stable source of happy things behind all the mess, and then we’re halfway. Not there yet, but getting there. Now we can move, towards a happiness that I find pointless to describe. We all know it’s there, in our breath, in the outer galaxies, you know…It’s even in strawberry icecream on a hot day, and that’s one reason we buy it. But buying two, three or four to repeat the bliss of the first one, won’t do. We simply do to many things.

Having realistic expectations is a big one for me. Sometimes we set our goals so high from a lot of positive thinking that we forget it takes time for things to manifest. Then things don’t come fast enough and we stress about it. It’s all so silly! Thanks for the reminder and encouragement.Joshua Tilghman recently posted … Joshua, the Battle of Jericho, and Your Body/Mind Connection!

What I find works for me is to have some goal out there that may or may not be set too far out, but then to focus on the babysteps, not the distant goal. When I do that, each step is a victory. Each day is achievable, because I’m only stepping, not conquering the world. It’s the old “How do you eat an elephant?” line put to practice. By tackling our goals “one bite at a time,” we can get so much closer to our ultimate goal without all the stress and frustration that often accompanies goals when we measure each day by the distance we are from the goal we tossed so far down the street we can hardly see it.

I personally handle stress by learning to accept things. There are many occasions in our life where no matter what we think, we cannot change what has happened. By learning to accept what is out of my hands, I have definitely become less stressed in general.Jamie recently posted … How to find the courage you need

That, ultimately, is the path to living life with more happiness, less stress and more enthusiasm and joy for life, Jamie.

When we can change the way we react to the challenges of life, we change the way we feel about them. But it has to be truly changed in our hearts, not merely a facade thing, a grin-and-bear-it pretended acceptance. But if we can truly accept the messiness of life, no ill-will toward that messiness, then our lives will be transformed.

Hi Candice. Make time for fun indeed! We are a members of a race (the human race… not the rat race!) whose members have the divine right to take command of their minds and create a positive attitude of WOW at will, which renders WOE helpless. It’s wise to base our everyday decisions on this knowledge. It is never a mistake to do so. Focused energy is effective and positive and it is always fun doing positive things for ourselves, isn’t it?

Hi Rob :), fully agreed! “A positive attitude of WOW” is so well said, and something I can see clearly on children… Where did most of us, “grown-ups” lose it? An expedition back to self-love, no-expectations and no-judgment is a beautiful one indeed… One we can all take at any given time in our lives. <3, CandiceCandice recently posted … Find the Partner You Really Want With These Simple Steps

Candice, thanks for writing such a wonderful article on removing stress from life. Stress is such a killer. To be able to reduce it is such a blessing to ourselves. I also was most inspired by the idea of calendaring Fun Time or Do-Nothing Time. That’s a difficult one for me … unless I’m out in nature. Then I can sit on a rock and just be in the wilderness for hours.

Working out regularly is also very helpful. I used to go running more often, but still make it to the gym to work on machinery that is nicer to me knees. But doing some sort of cardio activity is really important. My ideal combination (I know, I’m violating the spirit of #2: “Do one thing at a time”) is to go hiking (working out and spending time in nature). There is something rejuvenating about nature. I truly believe most of our lives would be significantly less stressful if we were to spend regular time out in the natural environment.

Ken, thank you for the opportunity to reach out to more and more people 😉 Love your comment, and here’s a question back to you: do you make a point to connect directly back with nature by just walking bare foot for sometime while hiking? To just be. Just simply finding a spot that is safe for our “civilized” feet, and letting nature’s energy recharge you while you… “do nothing” 🙂 Nature will know just what to do.Candice recently posted … Find the Partner You Really Want With These Simple Steps

Only when the nature I’m communing with is a beach, Candice! 😉 Otherwise, hiking boots are on and feet are far away from mother earth. But not my heart! I do touch though. I like to feel nature’s grit in my hands — the trees, the rocks, the moss, the plants (nonpoisonous, of course!), the dirt, a stream, whatever I can run my hands across. Ah! You put me in the mood for a good hike in the woods! Now if only I lived closer to them!

I’m a “toucher” too! I touch the sand, the trees, historic buildings… I just love feeling the energy of the world through my hands… or feet! 😉 Special moments in life, where we can find peace despite any existing crowd… Warmly, CandiceCandice recently posted … If You Knew Then… How to Forgive Yourself for the Past

I really like your point on accepting that there are some things we cannot change, we have to stop trying to control the uncontrollable. The most of the stress comes from these reasons, I think.Lili recently posted … Családi állapota: szingli

A really useful collection of helpful tips, thanks for sharing them! I wish I could go through your points and set them in my actual situation, because unfortunately, my life is full of stress these days. I know that the most of them are unnecessary, but I have to find out how to manage it to avoid or remove them.Anna recently posted … Általános áttekintés a fogbeültetés költségeiről

Anna, from reading your comment I’d say: start with 1 option. Choose the easiest one. After you get used to it, pick another. Those of us who feel stressed out often have one thing in common: we just do too many things at a time! 🙂 When trying to de-stress, we could fall into the same old habit, resulting in more stress… De-stressing is a process and it may take a while getting used to it, but it is possible, and you too can do it! Pick one option, try it for 1 maybe 2 months, then try another 😉 Make a commitment to go slow on this process… Let me know how it goes! Xo, C.Candice recently posted … If You Knew Then… How to Forgive Yourself for the Past

Stress is often a signal that something is amiss in our lives. It may be a relationship problem or something at work or something internal. It’s important to listen to the message first. Figure out what needs to be done to remove the stress. Sometimes little can be done. If stress is associated with a chronically and terminally ill parent, there is little you can do to change the situation. In such cases, Candice’s advice is the only solution.

But at other times, the stress is a message of love (believe it or not) that is prodding us to make some changes. What those changes are exactly may be attitudinal in nature or may be some major life change. Stress doesn’t tell us what to do, just that something needs to be done.

Still, there are ways to minimize the volume of the scream stress can sometimes communicate in. Here, Candice speaks wisdom in her reply to you.

But be sure to listen to the message no matter how obnoxious the form of communication! Bandages on wounds don’t heal the wounds. And simply numbing the pain can lead to its own problems if we stop paying attention to the cause of the pain.

In the meantime, I truly hope things work out better for you soon, Anna. Remember, action is the cure to most of our problems, at least over time.

Good tips, Candice. Increasingly, I try to view whatever situation I’m in at a given moment as the place where I’m meant to be. This is, of course, easier when that place is somewhere I want to be! But overall, it’s about cultivating a mindset that much of the stress in our lives is only stress because we make it that way. It’s one thing to have a serious illness or lose a job. It’s another to get in a dither because traffic is backed up or a family member is getting under our skin. Progress in seeing the world this way comes slowly, and posts like yours help.Stephen Martin recently posted … 3 Ways to Make a Holy Fool of Yourself

Great comment here! Learning to let the small stuff be small stuff can be so difficult for people who have so much emotion vested in the drama of it all. But that is the secret to destressing from so much of the daily junk. We can get so deep in the minutia of life that we forget to take a step or two back to reclaim a proper perspective. And everything looks big when we pull it right in front of our faces.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on Candice’s post. Lots of great advice from you both!

This is definitely the advice I’ve given for stress release. Doing something fun is also at the top of my list. It does enable you to forget your troubles for a while.
I also like to add – have a relaxing place to go to. This has to be a place in which you never worry, just sit and watch the stream go by, or a room in which you have a massage mat (or even your bedroom, where worrying is banned).
I posted an article some time ago on my DIY blog showing how to create a sanctuary in your very own home.Anne recently posted … Self Confidence Is Not

I love it too, Anne! My place is nature. I love the woods, the beach, a mountain trail. There is something deeply soul-satisfying in nature. My backyard helps too when I don’t have much nature around. We have a little enclosure with a bench, covered by a creeping rose vine and a few other intermingled flowering vines that create an arch I like to sit under during those “moments.”

Mini-vacation — what a great concept. I once read where a woman who was a stay-at-home mom was feeling so overwhelmed by life, her husband offered her a mini-vacation. She stayed at home but was relieved of all wife and mommy duties for something life two whole days.

No one was to ask for her. No one was to expect anything from her. She was to do what she wanted when she wanted as if she had gone on vacation by herself to somewhere exotic. After one day, if I remember the story correctly, she came back refreshed and renewed and missing her family more than ever, excited to get back to another round of mommying.

Chris, yes indeed. Truth of the matter is: life will always be filled with uncertainties. We need to find inside of us the best way to achieve calmness… Exercise does it for many, and I’m so glad to read it does well for you!
Warmly, CandiceCandice recently posted … If You Knew Then… How to Forgive Yourself for the Past

I like to run too, but my knees are putting me on stationary bikes and ellipticals more often than not these days. But I’m with you on the power of exercise to release some of that pent-up energy that stress can be.

Great article! Simple but essential. Doing things one thing at a time is something that I am still working on. Setting small goals each day and not trying to multitask has greatly helped with my business. It is also great so you can check your progress and celebrate the small accomplishments or make necessary adjustments along the way.Shawn Ryan recently posted … Brainwave entrainment to get rid of stress

Leave a response

A Walk Through HappinessGet my FREE eBook and monthly newsletter by subscribing below!

Email Address*

First Name

Your email will NEVER be shared with anyone

About Me

My name is Ken Wert, the founder of M2bH. My purpose here is to teach you how to live a richer life of greater purpose and meaning, of mind-blowing possibility and deeper, more soul-satisfying happiness than you ever dreamt was possible. Join us on this happy adventure as you learn how to unlock your hidden potential to enjoy the rewards of a life well lived. Read more ...