13.5.10

That's all that stands between life as I know it, and life with a child. My child. My first child.

I know I'm not ready, and that kind of freaks me out, but I also know that I'll never be ready, and I just have to learn as I go, and I'm ok with that.

I'm resurrecting this blog because I want to remember this time. I want to take moments and record them. It takes time, and I'm not very disciplined at documenting life, but I have to at least try.

So, how am I feeling right now? Big. No, make that GINORMOUS. I've gained 30lbs...30lbs!!! I know why too...because I've eaten like a fatty. I am hungry more often because of the pregnancy, but I haven't made good choices when that hunger has come upon me. Sour gummy worms, ice cream sandwiches, a whole sleeve of Toll House crackers in one sitting!!! Today begins my cleansing, purging, get your act together woman! eating phase. Yes, I only have 6 more weeks, and yes, the damage has probably already been done, but if I don't get it together now, I have a feeling this could easily turn into life-long eating habits, and I can't...I just can't.

Other than feeling huge, I am feeling that mixture of 'freak out' and calm. Mostly calm, which is good. I packed my baby bag last night, boy was that crazy! picking out the first little onesie my son will wear in his life :) Packing tiny diapers and a little cap.

I'm glad pregnancy takes 40 weeks...something this big, has to hit you in tiny waves or it will just knock you over completely.

1 comments:

Brie
said...

Hey guess what?? Your post makes me feel much better. I always thought I'd be on my very best behavior with my diet and eating habits during pregnancy. NOT SO. I've been eating so poorly, compared to how I used to eat. It's sort of a mixture of "I want what I want" and "well, I'm going to get fat anyways". But it's not good!

Anyways, 6 weeks is plenty of time to recoup I think. I should get back on track too. We can do it!