A blog to share and educate through my experience as an orthodox, gay and (formerly) married Jewish man conflicted about finding a deeper understanding of God, religion and spirituality. At the same time I am looking to give and get support from others in a similar situation.
Please note that I have opened up the ability to comment once again. You can also feel free to email me at festerfest123@gmail.com.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

On this saddest day of the Jewish calendar we say our Kinus mostly with the words zchor, remember and aicha, how. I want to take a moment to ask and remember about the pain and tears that we won't otherwise discuss today.

Zchor

Remember those who experience their own silent inner holocaust. Those who suffer the abuse of others who are charged to care for them. Remember the mothers that ate their children's spirits because their hunger, ego and selfishness knew no bounds.

Aicha - Hashem. How do you allow this to happen?

Remember those who suffer silently. Those who can't share their pain with their friends and family. Those who's pain festers and whose sadness spills out uncontrollably at times. Those who yearn for a love that they are denied.

Aicha - Hashem. When will this pain end?

Remember those who have lost loved ones. Those who have lost parents, children, friends and lovers. Be it a life lost or a relationship destroyed, the pain is unbearable.

Aicha - Hashem - Where are you?

Remember those who want to know you. Those who yearn to feel your intimacy and your love. Those who want to feel your embrace. Those who want to get a glimpse of the loving, caring and intimate G-d who's beauty should be evident in the world.

Remember those who dont feel your love and are leaving yiddishkeit to escape the pain and confusion.

Aicha - Hashem, why can't we feel you?

Hashem, I beg you. May we have no more pain. May those who have pain be blessed with the ability to use it as a means of growth and connection to you.

Let the questions, How, When, Where and Why be answered soon in our day.