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Saturday, June 18, 2011

The Bizarro Starter Kits are designed to give newcomers a nice sampling of the bizarro genre. Here are just a few of the wonders The Bizarro Starer Kit (blue) contains:

The Longheads - Jordan Krall: Tommy Pingpong and his partner Jake are looking to buy some guns for a heist, all the while evade their former partner, a diaper wearing bastard named Peachy Keen. But why are the Longheads buying up all the guns?

The Longheads, insane and deformed war veterans, go on a homicidal rampage on the streets of Thompson, New Jersey, in this story but it's mostly in the background. The main part of the story is the pursuit of Tommy and Jake by Peachy. Throw in an image of Barbara Stanswick in the sky and a serial killer that draws comic strips on the backs of his victims and you have quite a tasty morsel of bizarro noir on your hands.

Monster Cocks! - Mykle Hansen: An inadequate IT professional takes male enhancement too far and his mutant penis takes on a mind of its own...

Wow. I had a feeling the lead's penis would grow out of control but I had no idea as to what extent. Holy crap. On a non-Bizarro note, the depiction of IT workers was spot-on.

The Devastated Insides of Hollow City - Andersen Prunty:
Shell, a detective, is hired to find Pearl, Queen of the Hollow City. Can he survive the slag plague long enough to find her and bring her back to the Rotting Man and collect his fee?

This story was a bit of bizarro noir, a grotesque journey through a plague-ridden city to find the queen, a diminutive girl named Pearl. I should have guessed where Pearl was but I didn't. I need to track me down some more Andersen Prunty soon. I like his style.

Cheesequake Smashup - Bradley Sands: In a battle for fast food dominance, McDonalds, Burger King, White Castle, and scores of other chains enter a building demolition derby. Gunning for a promotion, office worker Monty Catsin enters his employer, NGA, into the derby as well. Who will emerge as the sole provider of fast food in America?

Cheesequake Smashup is mother-whoopieing hilarious. Combine an absurd office, complete with an octogenerian sexpot, a giant goldfish, a gorilla, and lots of mobile buildings smashing into one another, and a heaping helping of absurd humor and you've got a winner on your hands. I'd say Cheesquake Smashup was worth the price of admission on its own.

All this awesomeness and more can be found in Bizarro Starter Kit (Blue.) Get out your credit card and head over to Amazon.com today!