Seeing The Real Costs Of Divorce

The high cost of divorce, financially, or emotionally, needs to be considered whenever a marriage is in trouble. One of the most common reasons for considering a divorce is that the marriage has been hurt by an affair, but it needs to be stated that affair recovery is possible.

A marriage is a bit like a corporation and taking it apart is complicated in many ways just as dismantling a business would be but with powerful feelings involved as well. Sometimes a financial appraisal is just as much in order as an emotional one when considering a divorce. If only one partner was a wage earner or if one has made much more than the other, the financial change can be devastating.

A divorce would mean maintaining separate households, and that is almost always more expensive than one shared residence. If children are involved, not only does this make housing more complicated (and costly) but there is the financial and emotional cost shuffling the children between parents.

Many aspects of the high cost of divorce, financially, or emotionally, may not come to the surface until a true assessment is made of many things. Child custody can be a very rocky emotional issue and child support for the parents can be a financial nightmare as well.

Even if you don't have kids, it can be difficult to divide the property and items acquired as a couple. Besides practical reasons for needing a particular item, there are also things that one of you might have sentimental attachments to. You might have to sell your formally shared home to fairly divide it, with not only the high cost of moving but the loss of a place where so many good family memories have occurred.

Money may be the reason for the split in the first place and seeing a financial counselor may be required to settle such issues as dividing debts. This type of help can even lead to saving the marriage where money is the big issue of dissent.

If an affair is the cause of the split, you might be able to save the marriage with professional help. The clergy will often help at not expense, but there are also family services that charge on a sliding scale and private marriage counselors. Most importantly find someone who has experience with infidelity. Sometimes inexperienced or amateur counsel from friends and family can do far more harm than good.

If you are the betrayed party, it is normal to be hurt by the affair. Don't forget though, the same vows that pledged you both to fidelity also pledge you to sticking together in both good and bad times. It might help to take time to understand the \"whys\" of the affair. Remember, the cheater is a human being who makes mistakes (like we all do).

Don't forget that along with all of the other losses and costs of a divorce, there is also the loss of the identity of being a couple. Divorce will change the whole social dynamic with friends and in activities. Even if you both want the divorce, loneliness is common and it is far too easy to impulsively drift into another relationship too soon. Remember the good times and put the current problems in perspective.

Divorce is expensive both financially and emotionally and in many cases can be avoided with the right help and the dedication to try to save the relationship. If divorce is inevitable, help from outside by experts may ease some of the financial and emotional pain. Being honest about the costs makes the decision clearer for both of you.

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Infidelity creates a pain like no other. At the Affair Recovery Center we know from experience. We can help you cope with infidelity. Don't suffer another day. Start healing from infidelity right now.