TRALFAMADOR, Texas -- Deep in the heart of Texas, a lowly farmer "lookin' to fix [himself] a samich" stumbled upon a miracle: A surprising likeness of Anna Nicole Smith herself, embedded in the peanut buttery goodness. "I done almost crapped myself," said the dumbfounded farmer when interviewed by Peter Jennings.

The lucky farmer himself.

The farmer has since been holding daily viewing sessions of the miracle, charging "two bits a peek," whatever that means. When interest in the miracle has ground to a halt, he plans to capitalize on it by "puttin' it up on Ebay."

One is reminded of the time when the visage of John Lennon was found in some toast, which sold on Ebay for $30,000.00 USD, as well as a similar peanut butter incident involving the image of Jesus H. Christ himself.

The Jee man was unavailable for comment, but word on the street is that he thinks Anna's a "biter."