If you’ve been having a little trouble when it comes to finding love (or lust) on your dating app of choice, let comedian Billy Eichner be your guardian angel and show you the way. An aficionado of just about every app there is, including Tinder, Grindr, Bumble and Scruff, Eichner gave GQ his tips to getting it right online.

The most important rule? A short, concise bio of 10 words or less. “Anything more is serial killer territory,” he said. “I understand you’re trying to carve out your place in the world, but don’t do it on a sex app.”

Secondly, the first message is sort of everything and can instantly make or break the vibe. Avoid frat-boy-style messages. Eichner says, “I can’t tell you how many guys start their conversation with me on these dating apps with ‘Hey, bro! What’s up, bro?!’ I’m like, ‘Bro? Don’t bro me. You’re not a bro. I’m not a bro.’ Then their profile is like seven paragraphs long, where they tell you everything about their life or philosophy. People going off on politics on Grindr is one of the stupidest things I’ve ever seen. That’s an immediate sign to run in the other direction.”

And if you have any of the following on your dating app profile, you may as well call it quits now: anything that sounds like it was pulled from a resumé, song lyrics, poetry, “If you are [miles-long list of your ex’s qualities] then swipe left,” politics, a list of emojis or, god forbid, a bulleted list.