My Favorite Music

July 05, 2011

Life and Emotion......

I'm feeling a little down today. Been doing a lot of thinking about the different levels of emotion and how we all feel and handle it very differently. I've suffered a lot of pain and heartache in my life but its how you handle that heartache that shows the character of a person. I've always had a huge heart...gave it willingly and unselfishly and I've felt so much joy and love but what do you do or how do you process and feel the emotion of pain you feel when someone you care deeply for hurts you. You can't stop loving them...but the pain you feel is a pang so deep and your eyes fill with welts everytime your mind goes back to the feeling, even though you try so very hard to forge forward. You never feel the people you love the most will ever do that..but its a part of life and nobody is perfect I realize...the pain still is felt and where do you put it and where do you go from there. How do you trust...How do you heal...find the faith everyone has instilled so deeply within them. I"m having one of those days. I woke up this morning feeling such a happiness and hope for the day and in the course of just a few minutes it can turn into a heaviness and weeping loss and pain. I acknowledge that I have grown to be a very strong woman in my journey of life and have learned a lot of how I want to experience it..the kind of person I need to share it with and the really important things to me and my happiness. Everyone has that one love of a lifetime...that probably only crosses your path once. KNowing what to do when you find it in front of you and let yourself feel it to the depths of your soul. Children bring you so much love and hope for life that you can only rejoice they are such a gift. Having a purpose in life, something to challenge you and make you a better person. Having a faith in something greater than yourself. When you feel the pain and hurt from one or all of these how does the heart heal from this. I know time heals...I know God heals our hearts...I know love can make you dance...cry....laugh and be filled with so many levels of emotion and some are so easy to process and deal with...but what do you do with the pain...where does it go and how do you grow stronger for it. I know I"m the woman I am because of the pain and hurt and joy and amazing gifts I have been given through my lifetime...but each time it happens..its like it is the first time and you have to reach very deep within and grab on to hope and move forward and grow and yes sing your own song. It never gets easy...but I keep trying.

What a bad day! I've been hurt too. A lot depends on who is doing the hurting (husband, children, friend) it can really devastate me. Then I think I'm suppose to forgive 70 times 70.....hummm....time always makes it easier. I really enjoy the pictures of your house and porch! Pat Mc