We've Been Living our Happily Ever After for

Thursday, April 14, 2016

Independence & letting our children go

Last night, Reese slept on a bed on his own. Technically, his "bed" was right next to ours, he still climbed to ours when he asked for milk but from any perspective, he slept by himself.

Excited about this new arrangement!

The pretend play started a few days back, when he would get a mat(meant for the sofa), lie on it and close his eyes. Last night, however, hubby prodded and prodded him but the boy simply smiled at us, showing that he really means to sleep there. Worried that it might be too cold and hard for him, we created a space for him with all his pillows. He was so happy and when I tried to overdo it by adding a comforter, he said "Hindi", meaning "no, the mat and the pillows are enough".

Last night was a gentle reminder that I aim to be a parent that allows my son to experience things, far from my teenage years of lying my way through "firsts", because my mom wouldn't let me experience them if I asked permission. Lying to watch a concert for the first time. Lying about an out of town because I was travelling with my boyfriend. It was quite a blow as an adult, a woman with a job who still feels the need to lie to her mother for fear of being reprimanded. It was a reminder that unlike what I did to my mom, I prefer to know my son's decisions because in the end, I'd wish to know where he is even if I think the activity is too dangerous, far away, or expensive- because it is part of letting them make their own mistakes.

It was an eye opener, a gentle reminder that our children are not our own. Parents are here to guide them, raise them and educate them, but we have to let them go, let them be the individuals that they are meant to be, regardless if we are ready to do so or not.

Nag-pose pa talaga!

I got teary eyed because my boy is still stuck at one word sentences( his age is expected to be able to carry 2-3 word sentences at a time), and here he is, wanting to sleep by himself. Today, it's about the bed and a few months from now, it might be something else. That's the thing with being a mom. The concern changes but the feeling doesn't- a mother will always care. It never gets easier-it's just an ever morphing ride of caring about something else that affects your child

So today, I lock away the mom who wants to protect her child from every little thing and prod the one who's willing to let her son be independent.