One of my coworkers, Lisa, has a tendency to ask questions, and as soon someone begins to answer, she shushes them and cuts off their answer.

A few weeks ago, Lisa was having a problem with some software, and decided it was a permissions issue. Since I handle permissions, she came to me for help. I checked her permissions (they were fine), and then tried to work with her to figure out what the real problem was. When I had my lightbulb moment, I told her I’d figured out what was wrong. She asked, “What is it?” I started to tell her and she said, “Shush! IT can just figure it out.”

Several days later, Lisa was still having the same problem. As it turns out, not being able to describe the problem beyond “the software’s not working right” meant that IT couldn’t narrow down the issue. So she asked me what to tell IT. I started to tell her, and before I could even finish the sentence she said, “Shush! I don’t need to know all that.”

All I could say was, “Okay then. Good luck with your problem.” Then I walked away. (From what I understand, it took another several days before IT could figure out what was wrong.)

It seems to me that Lisa doesn’t really want answers, she just wants to call attention to the fact that she’s having some sort of problem. Well, I don’t have the time or the inclination to entertain her questions unless she wants an actual answer. So how can I shut her down?

My guess is that she wants a short, non-technical answer, something between the her vague description, and the detailed report that the tech person would prefer.

I *was* giving her a short, non-technical answer, though. I knew she wouldn't be able to relay a more complicated answer, so I was just trying to tell her to let IT know that she didn't have a "Doodads" tab. I figured that IT would know, if they had that information, that she needed to have the Doodads tools installed. But I couldn't even get that far. I was cut off around the part where I said "You have to let IT know that you don't have...."

Personally, I think "Good luck with your problem, then" and walking away is an excellent response.

Logged

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

She asked, “What is it?” I started to tell her and she said, “Shush! IT can just figure it out.”

She honest-to-goodness, really says "shush" to you? Perhaps I'm overly sensitive about this issue, but I'm tempted to give you a medal for responding as politely as you did. This would make me see red.

I think if I were you and she asked me another question, I would remind her that she told me to shut up last time and inform her that I'm not willing to help her unless she promises not to do that again.

Personally, I think "Good luck with your problem, then" and walking away is an excellent response.

I agree. I would also go further and refuse to answer any more of her queries, because answering her is obviously pointless. It might teach her not to ask questions in future if she's not going to pay attention to the answers.

How about a little boundary setting? "Don't shush me. If you don't want an answer, don't ask a question."

This. Personally I think it is unacceptable for one adult to say 'shush' to another, especially in a profession a setting. I would say this to her every single time she said 'shush' to me, no matter what the question was.