Monday, April 26, 2010

Things I've learned this weekend: only go to Rody's when there's a match on the day after and when very drunk! | Vodka and lime is nice if a bit too sweet therefore a double vodka and lime is called for | New words always come from someone saying one thing and someone else hearing another, ie Quwadelubeh! it's the happy high you get from a feed of beer from the night before, well it is now anyway! | Sunny weather does not always necessarily mean warm weather. | Michael Jackson looks good as a chiwawa, just have a look at the new card stand in A|wear on Grafton Street and I defy you not to laugh!

Also if anyone happens to watching "Republic of Telly" tonight I might be seen some where in the audience. A last minute change of plans and BOOM I'm finally in the door of RTE. It's a goodun tonight (not just because I'm there) but also for what Jennifer Maguire says to Michael O'Leary!

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Sue Sylvester is the best thing in Glee. FACT. Emily Cross posted a great video that plays Sue's version of Vogue alongside Madonna's and it is frame for frame with added amazingness because it's Sue Goddamn Sylvester. Her lines in the show are undoubtedly the absolute best. You do not mess with Sue because she will run you the fuck over, bitch.Sue: Iron tablet? Keeps your strength up while you're menstruating. Will: I don't menstruate.Sue:Yeah? Neither do I.

I've never wanted kids... don't have the time, don't have the uterus.

Oh, hey William. I thought I smelled cookies wafting from the ovens from the little elves who live in your hair.

You sunk my battleship, Rod. And you sunk it hard.

I empower my Cheerios to live in fear by creating an environment of irrational, random terror.

You're right, Will. I have been trying to destroy your club with a conviction I can only call "religious."

I'll often yell at homeless people: 'Hey, how is that homelessness working out for you? Try not being homeless for once.'

Will: Hold on a second, Sue.Sue: I resent being told to hold on to anything.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Like a lot of girls, I seem to be programmed to love makeovers. I can't help it. The makeover episode of America's Next Top Model is universally regarded as THE BEST ONE in every series.

Look at these foolish models cry because they have short hair now! The shallow idiots!

But the best kind of makeover, I reckon, is the really fast one. This may be the reason that I secretly kind of like (I say secretly but that's actually a total lie) Snog Marry Avoid? For the fact that there's minimum feck-acting about, there's just a bit of banter between the freakishly orange, nearly naked lady and the fake robot (I wonder if that's how they pitched the idea) and then bzzz-ping! Done and done, hey look at her lovely bobbed haircut and floaty gúna! Great.

As such, my favourite movie makeover, hands down (or in this case, where I can see them) is Jamie Lee Curtis in True Lies. When Jamie is fooled into thinking she has to act like a fancy prostitute by Arnie (GET TO DA CHOPPER!) she undergoes a deadly transformation in the hotel hallway.

Rippin some bits off the dress...collar and frilly bit on the end begone...

Makeup, makeup...bit of water...splishy splashy

Fix your boobs...strike a pose...ta daaa! Fancy hooker a go go!

Of course then there's the scene that follows. Apparently it's been voted the Number 1 movie striptease ever or something. So now. Consider yourselves informed.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Alan Rickman has officially got The Most Amazing Voice Of All Time. It's the sound of chocolate talking. It's knicker-droppingly sexy. As much as I love him as Colonel Brandon in Sense and Sensibilty, we all know it's the villians that he's so fantasticly good at. Allow me to draw your collective attention to the brilliantly hilarious and concise The Many Faces Of Alan Rickman.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

The new Magnum Gold ad. Mostly due to the fact that they're insisting on calling it Magnum Gold?! Which has to be the worst pairing of exclamation and question marks I've ever had the misfortune of seeing. What's the story like, are they not quite sure if it's actually a Magnum Gold, but at the same time they're excited about it? It's awful, unnecessary and makes me die a little inside whenever I see it.

Also, why in the name of all that is chocolatey is Benicio del Toro fronting this ridiculous ad campaign? The telly ad is confusing, since it looks like Angelina Jolie is in it too but it turns out to be just some bird that sort of looks like her. Just get off my telly.

Kick Ass. Are the Bear and I the ONLY people in the world who thought it was rubbish? It probably didn't help that we had seen Aaron Johnson interviewed on Jonathan Ross beforehand, where he came across as the most unlikeable pint of no craic the whole time he was on. So as soon as he came on screen we each just thought "here's this sulky fucker again." It's overhyped and not very good at all.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Dear God I'm much too hungover today to blog coherently. Also I somehow managed to bruise the palm of my hand. How does that even happen? A lot of fun was had last night though in celebration of Mazatron's birthday, what with the smuggling of Jameson into the pub (because it transpires that I'm actually a total knacker), trying to show T Cup how to Time Warp and conversations about how rubbish the "heart" power was in Captain Planet. Although the Bear later reminded me that there was an episode where they combined their powers without that irritating heart kid for some reason and as a result Captain Planet came out all mean and uncaring. So I suppose they did need him really. Anyway, hangover aside I will pull myself together just enough to say how much I love this ad for MAC's Viva Glam campaign with Cyndi Lauper and Lady Gaga. Of course, that's mostly due to the fact that it looks like it was shot in a cartoon bordello.

Gaga looks gorgeous altogether and Lady Lauper seems to be just the right side of Photoshopped-ta-Jaysus in that she's more or less recognisable at least. Hot stuff.

So just because it's amazing, here's the opening and closing credits to Captain Planet. Unfortunately it turns out that it's impossible to find a version of the frankly FANTASTIC closing song that doesn't have some announcer fucknut talking over it. Nonetheless, I dare you to try NOT to sing along. It just can't be done.

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

It would appear that there's nothing like the impending visit of parents to get people to tidy, hoover and dust an apartment, hide the tangle of cables connecting the telly to the many things it's connected to, including the Bear's SNES console (incidentally, the original MarioKart is WAY harder than MarioKart Wii and Street Fighter II is just as good as you remember) and hang up the pictures that had previously been sitting on the floor. It doesn't seem like that long ago that I was faffing over whether or not I was ready to tell the Bear that I loved him, and now we've bought a canvas print from Grogan's, share a fridge and have Sally Jupiter hanging over our bed.

We trade Over The Rainbow and America's Next Top Model (don't you judge me) for Scrapheap Challenge and BBC4 documentaries about physics and then meet in the middle for Glee and 30 Rock. Saying that however, I actually did get quite into Wonders Of The Solar System which was mostly due to lovely Professor Brian Cox being so damn endearing and getting so enthusiastic about space and whatnot. I even had a dream the other night that I met him in Disneyland and we got on like a house on fire. I was pretty annoyed to wake up and find that I was not in fact friends with the Professor or even in Disneyland.

Harsh.

Look at him there, being brilliant. Apparently he was the keyboard player in D:Ream while studying physics. He's great. I think I'm a bit in love with him actually.

This post was supposed to be about how great it is to be living with the Bear but ended up meandering into how lovely and great Brian Cox is. Although the Bear did just rob a Yorkie from my Easter Egg and laugh at me when my foot went to sleep just now and I couldn't feel it. So that's what he gets. Ha.

Thursday, April 01, 2010

I subsribe to "Le Cool" every week or so and it's pretty good. It has a good mix of what's on in dublin for the next two weeks like the chemist mentioned in Ulyses and what they are doing to try and keep it opened as a place of interest although if yiz are going to read from Ulyses in there then forgetta bout it, that just sounds like a bunch of douchebags with stripey scarfs trying to make themselves sound smart, if it were me I wouldn't do the reading except on Blooms Day as this would make it more of an event.

Anyway I also found this little gem in it too which i thought was really rather sweet.

The old post boxes of Dublin are full of history. If, because of road works perhaps, you ever get to see the foundations of one, you may find that its base is still painted red, since the days prior to 1922. When I lived beside a house that had once been the home of James Joyce, I often imagined that I was walking in his footsteps as I strolled to the post box on the corner, letter in hand. Post boxes are full of potential too. There’s a very unique post box on Dame Lane at the end of George’s Street. This special wooden box is the portal for the Interactive Street Art Project. Here you can post a letter to God, to a stranger or to the past, or even share a secret, based on a monthly changing theme. The current theme is ‘Your inner child.’ What does yours look like?