Die schwarze Glocke

We belong together

Part 15

What was it about Sundays that always made you feel so freaking lonely. Emily wasn’t sure. Wasn’t this what she had wanted when she got back early from her brunch thing with Olivia? Some alone time and not having to talk about stuff all the time? Wasn’t this also part of the reason why things with Jonathan had gotten so difficult in the end? She remembered her single days, when it was all about her, her wishes, her needs, her dreams and her days. She had been able to get up whenever she wanted, hang out in her sweats all day or go party it up with her girls whenever she felt like it. She didn’t have to impress anyone or pretend to be amazingly active or hyper, cause, truth be told she wasn’t that at all. Even though she loved the parties and the girlfriend time and posting all those awesome pictures on Facebook she was really just as happy holding a movie marathon with herself on her couch with cold cup noodles and a glass of Nutella. And the thing is – she never felt lonely. Being alone was her sanctuary, it was the time when she put herself back together again and restored herself from work and friends and family issues. Once she met Jonathan that stopped. She wanted to spend every minute, every second with this man and she enjoyed it so much. She missed him whenever he was gone and she didn’t quite know what to do with herself when he wasn’t there. It was like a part of her went with him, when he left.

Back at work on Monday everything seemed a little less horrible to Jonathan and he was able to distract himself quite well. He had taken over a new project at the PR agency he worked at which required all his attention, there was no room for thinking about anything else. He worked through lunch and before he knew it, it was late afternoon and he realized he hadn’t eaten anything since a banana at 7 in the morning. So he quickly grabbed his jacket, picked up the receiver of his phone to call Tom, one of his colleagues to ask him if he wants something to eat as well as he is a workaholic just like him. When no one answered after the 10th ring he gave up and walked towards the main entrance of their office bumping into Tom’s assistant. “Hey Natalie, is Tom in today, haven’t seen him all day!” Natalie looked at him funny and whispered “uhm John.. don’t you know that Tom has been sick for the past 2 weeks, I thought you guys were close”. Embarrassment crept up Johnathan’s cheeks like hot velvet lava. Of course he knew this. He had even called Tom at home several times to see how he was doing but he must have been so self absorbed that this memory got completely swiped away. “uhm yeah, sorry, of course.. I guess…Well you know it’s Monday” he mumbled trying to hide his scarlet face from Natalie. He couldn’t seem to get out of there fast enough and almost ran over a couple of kids coming back from soccer practice. “Sorry guys, I didn’t mean to..” Where the hell was his head today. He decided to be a little more careful from now on and started walking towards his usual bakery. Their comfort food was always his go to place for lunch if he wasn’t feeling great, which was quite often at the moment.

“Hey Jon, how is everything?”. It’s Marc. “oh hey Marc, I m ok, what about you? What are you doing here in this neighborhood” “Um I work here actually, been doing so for quite a while.. I thought you knew that.” “right.. uhm so whats up, how have you been, how is Olivia?” Shit, he wasn’t meant to ask that. From Emily’s stories he knew this was a really delicate subject and also he knew where this conversation would lead to if he wasn’t careful – Emily. “She is fine I guess, working really hard and partying even harder if you know what I mean” Marc smiled awkwardly. Johnathan nodded and gave a little sympathy laughter, not quite sure how to steer away from the subject. It always seemed like girls hated those awkward silences, always jabbering about stuff just to fill those moments where it was not quite sure what was supposed to be said next, but guys weren’t any better. Especially when it came to situations like these. Marc was fully aware that he had no idea how to treat Jonathan. He knew too much stuff about his old relationship and he really, really didn’t want to talk about it right now so he said the first thing that came to mind: “so, what are you doing Wednesday? Olivia and I are having like a small drinking thing, after work you know.. wanna stop by for a beer or so? She wanted to cook as well, says she hasn’t cooked for ages, but I am sure it’ll be alright…” “yeah sure, sounds great actually, what time?” “around 7ish” Marc replied. “All right cool, I ll be there. Its at your place right?” “Yeah at my place, so anyways I gotta go now, see you Wednesday then! The minute Jonathan turned around he realized what this would mean – he would see Emily again and it was too late to back out. Suddenly not even comfort food could calm him down. “What were you thinking?” Olivia asked Marc, later when they went food shopping for Wednesday. “Well if you need to know I wasn’t thinking at all, its all that shit you always tell me about your friends, I don’t really know what to say to them., like what I am supposed to know and what I shouldn’t know.. You treat my like I am your goddamn girlfriend some times.” He didn’t know why he said that. She hadn’t even been mad at him when she asked, just a little confused but he snapped anyways. “Sorry, didn’t know you were on your period”, she mumbled, picking up a cantaloupe and smelling it for freshness. He had seen women do that before, and he still didn’t get what good that was supposed to do. She threw the melon in his direction and he caught it right away. “so ok, not biggie, we ll figure it out. I don’t think I am gonna tell Emily though. I ll just be very surprised when Jonathan shows up. I think it s best if they start doing stuff together again. Maybe that’ll help them be normal again”: “You don’t think you should at least warn her? I don’t want some huge scene on Wednesday” “no, no they’ll be fine”: Obviously she considered this conversation to be over, as she grabbed the melon from his hand, dropped it into their shopping cart and started moving towards the salad section.