Thursday, November 4, 2010

Why?

I suppose I don’t do all of these things because I have to, my life could play out differently if I really wanted. There must be a reason. While I made choices early on that now require my daily commitment, like children, marriage and owning a business—that’s what it still is—a choice. I was beginning to get what he was really asking. What’s my motivation, why do I continue to make these choices?

My husband asks me the other day, “What is your why?” Naturally, I respond “Why what?” “Why do you do, what you do?” he asks. At first response, part of what I do isn’t by choice but rather in consequence. After thinking about my everyday routine, I am reminded of how I enjoy spending my time. While I’m not hanging out with Ava, I’m spending time with my family and friends, staying active and exercising, meeting with people in my business—helping them stay motivated with the changes they desire for themselves, providing support for Matt when he needs me, and enjoying the experience of writing and documenting life. Why do I do these things? After much thought, I was beginning to realize how difficult this question is to answer.

Without my family, life would be boring and lonely, quite empty for me. The good things in life wouldn’t be so great if I didn’t have anyone to share it with, there’s a why.

And for the reason as to why I stay active, well, if I said I do it just because I love it so much, I would be lying. The way I see it, this is the body I’ve been given and while I can’t defy gravity and age--I want to feel confident that I’m doing what I can to take care of the good parts God has given me.

I’m continually fascinated with the human experience and motivated by sharing in other people’s lives. Hearing their stories, good and bad, I think we can learn a lot about ourselves through our interaction with others. That’s why I’m in the people business.

As for coming out of the closet with my love for writing, well, it took awhile. At first, I felt pressure to write only if I could prove it was productive, if there was a return on my investment of time. Once I could answer the question of who I was writing for, I quickly got over that excuse. Leaving tracks and traces of where I’ve been, where I am, and where I’m headed is important for me to share with my kids. Although time, experience, and age will change me, I don’t want to forget. I don’t want to remember when; I want to remember like it’s happening right now. I want to maintain some of today’s perspective for the future; this is why I write it down.

Thanks for asking Matt, this was good for me. I am reminded of what I should be doing differently, today, in order to get where I want to go tomorrow. I am motivated to eliminate the activities that don’t support where I am going and replace them with purpose driven ones.

Overcoming inertia and getting self motivated is an ongoing daily commitment for me. Once I can overcome this “Monday diet” mentality, (You may be familiar with this one? “I’ll start on Monday”) I learn there is still a lot I want to accomplish and I am the one with the power of choice and decision to make it all happen.

1 comment:

I want to remember what it was like getting to
know them. I want to
share the story of my
experience and perspective with them. Leaving a
successful career to
be at home wasn't easy for me. Until I went back
to
work, I needed something else.
During a trying first
year of motherhood, I started
writing to spend more
time focusing on what was good.
I found comfort and company in a lonely space, a voice inside wanting to
be heard. Now, I write to escape from
the busyness of
everyday life. I'm on a quest to learn something
worth teaching.