Recall Madness! The WATCH bad toy list

Every year around this time, the people at World Against Toys that Cause Harm (WATCH!) come out with a list of the year’s 10 worst toys. And every year I say “whatever” — usually 10 times.

toysrus.com

Jack Sparrow’s Spinning Dagger: Sure it looks dangerous — but is it covered with lead?

This organization seems set up specifically to get the media riled up and direct attention to its founders, but during all their alarmist talks with gullible newscasters, there’s rarely any explanation how they go about picking these toys. I’ve heard nothing about a testing laboratory or detailed criteria for determining what makes the list. And finally, take a minute to check out the organization’s Web site. It looks like the fake one that Hayden Christensen cobbled together really quickly to fool his editor in “Shattered Glass.”

The WATCH (or is it W.A.T.C.H.?) list seemed really random last year, and the entries in 2007 once again range from obscure to completely obvious. Jack Sparrow’s Spinning Daggers made the list. What parent couldn’t figure out that toy was dangerous? And the rubber band shooter is a particularly lame choice, with a “Potential for eye injuries!” warning that is sooooo 2006. Unless those rubber bands are coated in the date rape drug, it’s not even on our radar.

(The Aqua Dots “Alert” was an 11th addition to the WATCH list — I suspect it was added because so many newscasters were asking why it wasn’t included.)

The motivation of this organization becomes a little more obvious when you look at the “officers” page and find out that president, founder and chief talking head “Edward M. Swartz is an internationally known and respected trial attorney.” Hmmmmmm … Now it’s starting to make sense …

I generally like lawyers, even ones who make tons of money, and would be a lot less cynical if WATCH was coming up with some really good Irwin Mainway-style hazardous toys. But in a year where Easy-Bake Ovens were terrorizing little girls and pool toys were gobbling up little kids’ fingernails, the best he could come up with is this.

Of course it has “potential for impact injuries!” IT’S A FREAKING SWORD.

Based on the comments on this site during previous recall stories, I worry that parents have reached the point of overload, and would rather have more focused information about the biggest toy hazards than someone telling them a stupid rubber band launcher is going to shoot their kid’s eye out.

When it comes to recall paranoia, I’ll be sticking to the CPSC.gov site and ignoring the WATCH list.