Excuses come naturally to us. It is our defense mechanism against inertia, criticism and failure. Part of the reason is our upbringing. As children, if we were encouraged, appreciated and motivated chances are that we minimize excuses and focus on getting results. On the other hand, if as children we were discouraged from exploring, criticized for failing and shouted at for the mess created rather than appreciated for the outcome, excuses are the only shield we have to take refuge under. Unfortunately, over time, excuses become an extension of our personality and we rationalize every unsavory action of ours with creative excuses, most times merely fooling ourselves.

Once we remove excuses from our lexicon the benefits are enormous; just try it and see the difference.

You begin to dare/ explore – Fear of failure and criticisms are the two red flags that often derail our hopes and ambitions. We limit our actions to only those that we are sure will succeed, those that meet approval of peers and elders and those that are tried and tested. We have ready excuses for anything untoward. Give up excuses and then you become more daring and start exploring options that you are passionate about. Success and failure are just milestones/ markers along the way not millstones that weigh you down.

You discover hidden potential – You give expression to your passion, move out of your comfort zone and discover talents and potential that remained dormant within you. You do not have to rationalize your actions or the consequences; no excuses for anything; you take responsibility. Dare do win is your only motto.

You become creative – When failure is not a fear, when justification is not needed, then excuses have no place in your lexicon. You can give expression to your inner spirit, the vivid imagination you have, the adventure of a lifetime with you owing no one an explanation or justification. No excuses needed; more life explored; fun and failure is just a phase of life but the process is what brings the thrill.

You do not fear failure – If at first you don’t succeed you just begin to try again. If you find that you were following the wrong trail in life, all you need to do is change tracks with no excuses for your actions or the past. No fear of failure comes from the freedom of not having to explain or justify or give excuses.

You succeed – Success is not just a destination; it is actually the enjoyment of the journey. The destination is merely a marker in life that tells us how far we have come. Every moment is a challenge, so also an opportunity to make life more colorful and meaningful. When we leave behind the baggage of excuses to be given we are no longer weighed down by expectations, More importantly we are on a journey in which we set the pace, the destination and the breaks. Every move forward is success for we have traversed ahead. No excuses, no regrets, no failures, no finish line.

Try these:

How can you color up the monotony of your work life, personal life and social life? Be creative, be daring, explore and act.

One of the problems many of us have is our inability to really identify something positive to focus upon. This is partly because our minds tend to stray towards what troubles us, our problems real and imagined and varied anxieties that we have made ‘much ado about nothing’. The problem becomes more acute at the start of the year for most of our plans/ resolutions tend to center around unfinished business, challenges to be met and overcoming our limitations. The grid above, however, has ample positives that stare at us and it would help if we focus on the first 3-5 positive words noticed and for the rest of the year align our goals to meet the goals those words beckon.

Honestly I would have loved to list out some of the words above, but then it would take away the fun for you. Instead, my friends, I am using my power of identification to share my experience of using my time to focus on some goals that have helped me gain friends, popularity and happiness. While money is important, it is the fun of influencing lives that really drives me. The beauty of this is that, I can with all honesty confess, that I have a large circle of young friends and interacting with them makes me feel young at heart. By the way, you also need to use your time not just for yourself but also for others. Keeping busy would also ensure good health in mind and body. If you look carefully there is something positive in every line except for one word. It is not for me to identify it but yes if you have the lust for life, even that word would be positive although most times we use it in a negative context.

Have fun decoding the above and more importantly use those words to make this year a wonderful and productive year for you and all those whose lives you influence.

Try these:

The grid gives you enough to focus on. Break time for both you and me. Actually, it is break time for me just for this post; you have ample scope to keep busy for the rest of the year.

Ever thought of maintaining a happiness jar? Perhaps this year you should focus on just maintaining a happiness jar. If you have already made your list of New Year resolutions, just make this the first one on the list. If you haven’t don’t worry; just make this the only resolution for yourself. Just see the positives that you have been blessed with week after week and you would be surprised to note how blessed you have been round the year. To make it more exciting, perhaps you could also add for yourself one or more of the following in each week’s list

A time when I made someone else happy.

A situation where I acted assertively.

A risk that I took that was worth it.

A time I said No and am happy about that decision.

A situation in which I failed, but learnt an important lesson.

A risk I took of trusting someone and he/ she turned out to be worthy of my trust.

You could also perhaps drop in a few coins or notes that could add to the contents of the jar and make it even more appealing when you open it.

As and when you get a bright idea jot it down and also drop it into the happiness jar.

Perhaps you could cut out a cartoon from the local newspaper or a quote you found interesting and drop that too into your happiness jar.

Try these:

Source a jar and some colored paper to get going. Ideally have a slit on the lid of the jar and ensure you tape the lid so that you are not tempted to open it off and on.

You should make an effort to send a letter of appreciation or thanks to an old classmate/ teacher/ colleague during the course of the year and surprise them.

Think of 2- 3 changes that you can make to your home/ your wardrobe / your personal style / your habits so feel a difference and enjoy the change.

As we grow up there is a tendency to think more rationally, behave more maturely and respond more circumspectly. The fact is that with age comes responsibility, pragmaticism and the need for socially acceptable interaction. However, in the process we often end being artificial, contrived and awkward for we have lost our natural grace, spontaneity and exuberance. We curb our enthusiasm, react with restrain and seek to fit in. The adult in us desperately tries to hide the child in us, fetters us with chains of social norms and nearly suffocates us as we behave artificially to meet social norms. Apparently life is fun but it is a put on, we project it as fulfilling whilst in reality it is suffocating and beneath the surface we crave to express ourselves unfettered, carefree and joyously.

Ask yourself when are you most happy. The weekends for sure especially when there is a policy to drop the veneer of power dressing. Picnics and outings come a close second for there are no shackles of do’s and dont’s. Informal social gatherings, where you are at liberty to be your own person. Holidays, when you fully control your life and do pretty much as you please. When you are enjoying a social event be it a musical program, a theater event or a party with friends. Don’t forget the treks, the boys/ girls day out and the ever favorite class mates meets. Pause and ask yourself what makes these events special moments for me. The answer is obvious, you drop your mask of being someone you really are not and become the real you.

The challenge is to seamlessly integrate that child like enthusiasm, spontaneity and exuberance into daily life and balance it with the social norms and pressures imposed on you as a professional, an executive and an adult. It may look a tad difficult but in reality it is the child in us that we often curb that allows us to retain our sanity, allow us to cope with stress and most of all make life fun. We discuss the latest headlines with colleagues giving it our own touch of interpretation, we argue and differ with others, we plan a meal out with colleagues spontaneously and we get all agog when we talk about something passionately. We can do more; we can personalize our workstation to reflect our individuality, we can surprise others with a gift or a treat most unexpectedly, genuinely appreciate something about another person, personalize a sharing with individuals (example you know a person is an avid gardener and you come across an excellent article/ book / clipping on gardening and you make it a point to share that with the individual concerned).

One danger though, of bringing out the child in us, is our over enthusiasm that results us in misusing social media and irritating others. Mindlessly posting, forwarding and liking just to garner attention to ourselves, simply because of the ease of doing it, is a very real issue for then we are childish not childlike. There is definitely a need to balance our adult like maturity with our child like enthusiasm. Life out there is fun because the adult in us takes care of our future needs and the child in us allows us to experience the wonders around us that makes life colorful, magical and enjoyable.

Try these:

Revisit old photo albums and make a collage of the pictures that bring out the special moments from your life. Share it with family and friends at a special occasion like a milestone birthday or anniversary.

A week or two prior to your birthday, review and list out all the fun times, high points, special moments, awkward moments and people who made the year gone by special for you. If inclined to, share them with your friends and family.

One of the biggest challenges that human beings face is feeling enthusiastic everyday and enjoying each moment of life. One way is to define a purpose / a goal for one’s own self and make this the focus for making progress. This is what largely drives entrepreneurs. The trouble is, most of us are not naturally self driven, so setting a goal itself becomes a challenge. This is particularly true with those who are employees. They are largely confronted by the same routine work, have little leeway to bring creativity into their jobs and largely feel unappreciated However, every individual can bring enthusiasm to their daily routine and life by adopting some simple steps. This is the way to make today so awesome that yesterday gets jealous.

Visualize your role as an important task in the overall scheme of things. The role that one plays in the overall scheme of things is often not know to us and as a result, we tend to undervalue our contribution. It is essential to appreciate and believe that your role is critical to the next process and also to all subsequent processes all of which lead to positive results along the way. This perspective helps one value their role and job.

Learn to appreciate others and also to identify the appreciation given by others to you.You will notice that whenever you appreciate someone genuinely you feel a sense of satisfaction. You would also observe that others too start noticing and appreciating your efforts. At times you may even get some subtle hints for improvements which are actually an appreciation of your real capabilities and potential that you can realize.

Don’t be a loner; focus on being a team player. It is possible that you are exceptionally talented and can do an outstanding job. However, it is important to be aware that your role just prepares the way for others to carry on the good work forward. While you must take pride in your abilities, it is very important that you give credit, act responsibly and work in tandem with your team members. Team members will begin to then value your contribution, start depending on you more and ensure that you are an integral part of the team process from planning to execution to sharing credit and relishing success.

Make your work environment and work a creative endeavor.Even the most mundane tasks can be made interesting and enjoyable by adding a dash of creativity. It could be as simple as varying your routine, adding zing to your work area, adopting new practices at work, delegating work where possible and taking on something different. Creativity is no ones prerogative and so each one has the potential to unleash their creativity and make their work environment and the work itself exciting, interesting and pleasurable.

Adopt a work mantra that incorporates standardization, simplification and elimination. With a little imagination, a dash of enterprise and loads of self confidence most routine jobs can be standardized. This will then enable one to simplify the job by adopting / adapting relevant technology. It is also possible that some systems that are irrelevant and superfluous can be eliminated in the process. Periodically reviewing one’s job and the relevance of each task will help one identify areas for improvement. It would also help one appreciate one’s responsibility better and it becomes a motivator to give off one’s best.

Grow in your job by taking on more challenges, grabbing opportunities and being a smart worker. Those who grow in their jobs and get a bigger role are people who have mastered the art of taking on new challenges, letting go jobs they have mastered and most importantly worked hard and also worked smartly. If one gets comfortable in doing the routine, growth will be stunted. You can do something new when you are willing to move out of your comfort zone and take on new challenges. Perhaps this would require fresh learning, possibly require more hard work and for sure involves the risk of making mistakes. Yet, new challenges provide stimulus, variety and growth prospects. Smart work is intelligently tackling the tasks on hand. This could involve experimenting, inviting problems and opening yourself to criticism. However, it could also mean realizing your potential, showcasing your talents and finding more interesting opportunities.

Go on an try to make your yesterday jealous !!!

Try this:

Think of 3- 5 things that you will do to make your work space more appealing, less cluttered and a fun place to work from.

Here is a little exercise to test your creativity. It is simpler than you think but you will have to visualize things quite differently to find the answer.

Here is another simple quiz to stimulate your grey cells. The answer to the first question is given to help you get an idea of the solution.

It is well known that change is the only constant in life and that it is imperative to adapt to change. However today we view change from a different perspective, of how it is vital for us to understand and appreciate how we respond to the challenge of change, which is forever inundating us. To begin with we need to be aware that change is a process and our response is a compulsion, a reaction or an initiative. Our response will often determine the outcome of the effect that change has on us; change either imposes itself on us or we accept it with grace or we nurture it affectionately.

When change is a compulsion it indicates that we did not anticipate it or we ignored it or that we were too stubborn to accept it. If one is able to make peace with the reality that change brings about and even reluctantly accept the change it is possible that one can survive the effects of change. The biggest change is being brought about by the technological revolution. The older generation would psyche themselves into believing that they are not capable of adapting to the technological changes and as a result often feel lonely and isolated. Similarly organizations that did not feel the winds of change often got blown away when the technology revolution gathered momentum. In a fast paced world where the pace of change is in geometric proportions, it is only the people who change at least after the change who can survive. It is imposed and is then the compulsion of the times

When change is a reaction it implies that we are attuned to the happenings around and that one is open to understand, appreciate and gracefully accept the change. The numerous initiatives of NGO’s and governmental agencies to health concerns, ecological concerns, natural disasters, child labor, educational imperatives etc are in many ways changes that a more aware society is keen to highlight. Technology be it in the form of harnessing solar and wind energy or waste disposal or harnessing nuclear power are also changes that nudges us to become more aware and encourages us to quickly adapt and adopt the inevitable. People who change with change will succeed because they quickly reacted to the change they noticed and accepted.

When change is an initiative it is a proactive response to a concern, an opportunity or the creation of something absolutely new. Look around and there are ample problems all crying out for solutions. Those who can visualize these concerns as a possible problem to be solved would take the initiative to find solutions that would ultimately lead to a change. Similarly those who can creatively scan the environment to add value by shaking up the status quo are leveraging the opportunities around. The numerous apps that are mushrooming are a clear sign of how change is becoming an initiative that unlocks value for those who respond proactively. Then there are those who disrupt the existing order with revolutionary ideas and creations. The ATM machines, the credit card revolution, the online payment gateways have turned banking and finance on its head. Similarly the concepts of laser surgery, pain management drugs, robotic manufacturing etc. are initiatives that have redefined the existing world order. Notice that all these people cause the change bringing about a revolution; the Windows, Google, Facebook , Whatsapp are leading the world because they took the initiative to change.

Try these:

Look around and identify at least 5 possible areas of improvement in the world around you. It is not necessary that you have the skill or competence to proactively make those changes but idea generation itself is a proactive initiative.

Scan the news papers and websites to identify opportunities for you to take some initiative and give expression to your ideas/ creativity. E.g. Currently there is a short story writing opportunity for aspiring writers being run by a leading newspaper. Similarly there is one leading airline seeking ideas to incorporate in their app.

Do you have any fresh / new ideas to address the following concerns

Make citizens avoid the use of plastic bags

Encourage citizens to segregate waste into wet and dry waste

Ensure that electricity is not wasted because street lights are not switched off in the day time or water is not wasted because a public tap is leaking or a pipeline has burst.

Make citizens aware of the status of public interest projects like road widening, building over overbridges, setting up of garbage / sewage disposal plants etc.

The magic in the mantra is because it gives you the answers to the questions that have invariably troubled you at some point in time and even possibly trouble you even today. For all those who have a doubt and ask themselves ‘ Can I?’ or those who are resigned to their fate saying ‘ I can’t’ this magic mantra simply says ‘YES YOU CAN’. However the mantra puts the onus on YOU to get what you want.

If you want growth – it could be in diverse aspects of your life like in physique / health / wealth /spirit / maturity you would be limited only by your inhibitions about reaching it. Assume you want to attempt a marathon successfully. The thought that it may be impossible stops you from even exploring the possibility. You could begin by aiming for smaller targets and slowly increase the distance till one day you achieve your aim of completing the marathon. If you don’t reach for it you will never grow enough to achieve it. Similar you mature more from the critical feedback you receive which most times we are prone to refute. Yet, if one were to reach out in a non judgmental way and listen to the others, we could get invaluable pointers that would make us more balanced, less emotional and act in a mature way. Be aware that YOU are the person limiting your growth by not reaching.

If you seek – it could be a variety of things like happiness/ enlightenment / understanding / knowledge / peace you will attain it only when you are prepared to be open minded, take risks and explore all avenues. An open mind and heart is a precondition to allow new thoughts and insights percolate into your being and transform you. A beautiful work of art could give immense joy or a coming across an insightful phrase can suddenly enlighten you or the wonders of technology when we experience it give us new knowledge. However all this is possible only when one is open to seeking it. This means that we need to look out for your destination even as you traverse diverse paths and before you know it you will attain it. Seek and you shall find says the Bible.

When we traverse through life there are so many experiences and events that we come across. Yet, it is only when we decide to consciously pay close attention to these happenings around us that we get to see the humane side of people/ the darker side of human nature/ the pain of others/ affection of people / sacrifices of others / blessings you possess. It is natural for us to take so many things for granted. Yet there are times when we are pleasantly surprised or rudely shocked because of events or happenings that did not fit into the set pattern. The sudden death of young colleague could be the trigger to be aware of one’s own health or the bravery of an ordinary citizen could awaken us to our own lethargic and casual approach to life. Perhaps this explains why beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. While on the subject of beauty, think deeply about this too; some say that love fades when beauty fades but think again; isn’t it when love fades that beauty fades

Dreams are nature’s way of giving wings to your imagination / your fantasies /your creativity / your individuality. The real you is the person who can translate those dreams into reality. Unless you dream big you cannot build on those dreams. Dreams are the blueprint that nature provides you with. They can also take the form of fantasies, creativity and individuality. Let your blueprint be elaborate, detailed, ostentatious for it is only then can you attempt to translate that into reality. If Edison did not imagine an alternative for the candle we would still be groping in the dark. You can be your own Edison if you just allow yourself the luxury of dreaming big, thinking differently, stretching your imagination and attempting something that you have never tried before.

Try this:

Grow – buy a potted plant or plant a seed in a pot. Nurture it well and see it grow. At the same time find a way to increase your savings and some good ways to invest it so that the savings grow more than the current inflation.

Go – Visit an old age home and an orphanage. Note down the different needs of the inmates there. Did you anticipate most of those needs by merely imagining them. How did the visit profoundly impact you?

See – a foreign language / regional language ( a language you do not understand )movie. Try writing a script for a 2 minute movie on a social cause and try to get it shot.

Be – aware of the noises around you when seated blind folded for half an hour. What thoughts crossed your mind when you sat blind folded. Did any wild ideas cross your mind? Did you imagine any fears? What do you plan to do about those ideas or fears?