Hyperbole corner

"May mangy aardvarks snuffle termites from the bowels of their unmarked graves - but not before they've lived long enough to see their children take up golf and their friends grow rich and successful. May the elastic perish in their bladders, and may there be only half a sheet of ripped tissue glued to the loo rolls of their constipated lives."

AA Gill "calls down a fatwa" on the Apostrophe Protection Society in the Sunday Times, May 11