It’s no secret that I am Christian, and I own my faith, yes faith, not religion. I was born into religion, when I questioned too hard I was asked to leave. Obviously religion did not work for me; faith does. A lot of Christians still have a difficult time separating religion, man made ordinances, from faith, God directed ordinances; so obviously non Christians would a difficult time in seeing the difference as well. That’s not what this blog is about today, perhaps another time, however today it’s about something a little different, but the same concept.

Religion will harshly rebuke any sin, some to the greatest lengths. Faith, well it teaches us something different, doesn’t it? We are called to LOVE the sinner and REBUKE the sin. Although you wont find one single verse in the bible that states it as I have, you will find the bible does tell us to rebuke the sin, but to love the sinner, it’s a matter of simply understanding the bible. I don’t have enough time, energy, or even space in one little blog to go about teaching someone how to simply understand the bible. I will try my best to give a small synopsis though. The closest you will come to finding what I have stated in the Bible is in Romans, more specific Romans 5:8, Romans 2:1-4, and Romans 12:9. Although I much prefer the Amplified version, I’ll post an easier version to read, The Good News Translation.

5 Now that we have been put right with God through faith, we have[a] peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 He has brought us by faith into this experience of God’s grace, in which we now live. And so we boast[b] of the hope we have of sharing God’s glory! 3 We also boast[c] of our troubles, because we know that trouble produces endurance, 4 endurance brings God’s approval, and his approval creates hope. 5 This hope does not disappoint us, for God has poured out his love into our hearts by means of the Holy Spirit, who is God’s gift to us.

6 For when we were still helpless, Christ died for the wicked at the time that God chose. 7 It is a difficult thing for someone to die for a righteous person. It may even be that someone might dare to die for a good person. 8But God has shown us how much he loves us—it was while we were still sinners that Christ died for us!9 By his blood[d] we are now put right with God; how much more, then, will we be saved by him from God’s anger! 10 We were God’s enemies, but he made us his friends through the death of his Son. Now that we are God’s friends, how much more will we be saved by Christ’s life! 11 But that is not all; we rejoice because of what God has done through our Lord Jesus Christ, who has now made us God’s friends.

2 Do you, my friend, pass judgment on others? You have no excuse at all, whoever you are. For when you judge others and then do the same things which they do, you condemn yourself.2 We know that God is right when he judges the people who do such things as these. 3 But you, my friend, do those very things for which you pass judgment on others! Do you think you will escape God’s judgment? 4 Or perhaps you despise his great kindness, tolerance, and patience. Surely you know that God is kind, because he is trying to lead you to repent.

9 Love must be completely sincere. Hate what is evil, hold on to what is good.

The last verse is probably one of my favorite verses ever to be told. Simply because if you go back and read the entire 12th chapter of Romans, you will read further that the only ones we should be judging is ourselves, and we should do so according to how God would judge us based on our services to God, and living to that of which we are called to be doing. This chapter in the bible has been a near and dear chapter for me through so many things in life. However, again this blog post isn’t about that currently, again, maybe another time. I just wanted to give some foundation to what I’m about to say.

While, I myself do not feel as if Phil Robertson went out and maliciously slandered an entire community as many are suggesting he did, I do feel that perhaps he was a tad bit on the harsh side. I also agree that this is a HUGE over reaction to a statement of personal belief to which he’s entitled to per the first amendment and was not at all a slander or put down to the LGBT community. Anyone who had even watched a partial of Duck Dynasty knows those boys are hard core gun loving, redneck, God fearing, outspoken Christians….. A&E/Disney knew exactly what they were doing and getting into by airing the show. I think both sides need to apologize for getting their panties in a fizzy.

In my opinion if media is okay with exposing children and families with the likes of Miley Cyrus, half naked, if not entirely naked, apparently doped up on something on stage grabbing a married mans private areas, then why the outcry over a man stating his PERSONAL beliefs? Phil didn’t put down anyone, he didn’t slander anyone, in fact if you watch or read the ENTIRETY of the interview in which this outcry comes from, then you will see that he further clarifies that.

If you are part of the #boycottae are you also boycotting all of the sister and parent stations from Hearst Corp, like Disney, History, Biography and Lifetime? What are you boycotting exactly? Think about it for a min. What will this boycott accomplish? Like I said don’t get me wrong, I agree that Phil did nothing wrong, and I agree that this is an over reaction on the part of the stations. How far are you willing to go for this cause? What will it get you? What will it change? Will it even change anything? I honestly, and sadly do not think so, because we live in a time, and an age, that if you don’t entirely and openly accept everything mainstream, then you are banned. Simple as that. Maybe this was a coo on the stations part to drum up publicity, to say, “Oh, well, Christians we gave you, your chance, and you blew it….” Is it working? I think so, who isn’t talking about A&E and Phil from Duck Dynasty right now?

I ask you one last question, how is this Christian? Love thy neighbor. Love all. Love the sinner. Hate the sin. Is this the American way? Tolerance? LGBT community preaches tolerance….. it’s okay to have tolerance, as long as it upholds your beliefs, views and ideology I guess, but not if it differs… Did I get that right? I love my LGBT friends, but I don’t love this attitude. I don’t have to agree with or love their lifestyle to love them. It’s not for me to judge. I simply love and accept them as I’m CALLED to do by God, what’s wrong with asking for it to be reciprocated? Can the LGBT community love and accept me if I don’t agree with them, even though I do love them? What is all of this really saying?

Simple, there is no tolerance on either side, because both sides have to be right, and both have to run main stream….. can’t have two cocks in the hen house, right? Maybe this is a good time that we ALL, Christian, non Christian, LGBT, non LGBT alike all start practicing what we are preaching; Love, Acceptance, Tolerance of different beliefs? Do we have to agree? Nope, but you wont find me judging or condemning another person, that’s not my job, and not my gift in the body of Christ; I just call it as I see it. A bunch of sinners being intolerant to everyone who differs in beliefs. We all bleed red don’t we? Then we are ALL sinners, everyone of us, because we are ALL born into sin. Every single one of us.

Maybe this subject hits a little too close to home for me, or maybe it’s because I feel that justice was not won. Either way I’m sadden and sicken by the total disregard to justice that a 16 year old in Texas got, after his friends and him, STOLE beer, drank until they couldn’t even stand straight, and then proceeded to get behind the wheel of a car to which they ended up killing 4 and seriously injuring two others.

My first experience with a friend who did not survive a drunk driving accident was when I was a senior in high school. His name was Adrian, and his cousin’s name was Jesus. They were night managers at the Burger King I worked for. I was 17, already on my own, in my own apartment, paying all of my own bills, while finishing high school, and my after school activities such as band, track, etc. I had just clocked on for my shift, was making my rounds to put the drive thru in the shape I liked to work; clean, organized, etc, when the store owner walked in, and you could tell he had been crying. Philip was the assistant manager was getting upset because his shift had ended and Adrian and Jesus had not shown up yet for their shift. Mind you this was 4pm in the afternoon. Roger came to us, and told us that we were shutting down the store for an hour and having a store meeting, that he called all employees in. We made signs saying that we were shut down for an hour, closed and locked the doors.

Once everyone had filed in and sat down, Roger very slowly in a trembling voice told us that Adrian and Jesus were killed two hours earlier by a drunk driver running a red light at 91st ave and Indian School road. I don’t know why, or what made me tell him to stop joking, but I did, and I quickly dialed Adrians number; over and over and over again it went to voicemail. We were really like the misfit family at our little Avondale Burger King. We were all close, all hung out after shifts, all helped one another out. I honestly can’t remember much more because it all became such a fog. I remember somehow showing up at his wake, memorial and funeral, but I don’t know any details. I can’t even say when it had finally felt like I had moved on, because I don’t know if I ever did. I still think about Adrian and Jesus from time to time. Adrain was like a older protective brother to me. Any time his family was going to discard furniture, sheets, towels, etc, he would bring it by my apartment and make sure I had everything I needed. His laugh was contagious, and I can still often hear it in my head.

The second deadly experience I ever had with a drunk driver was my friend TJ from high school. We were all, already graduated. I think maybe a year at most? I wont go into the specifics of this one, because TJ was the one that was said to be drunk, and he lost his own life, at his own hands. Luckily no one else had been hurt.

I was hit by a drunk driver at 1130 am one day on my way from my house to see my husband for lunch. My car was totaled. If he had hit me one inch further back, my car would have exploded with me in it. Luckily I was too busy messing with the radio to notice my light turned green, when he ran the red light.

My most recent fatal attraction to drunk driving was my good friend Ron. Like Adrain, Ron was like that big brother figure in my life. He was without a doubt there for me when I needed him, even when he didn’t have to be, or sometimes couldn’t be, he still was. He was on his way home from work one night, when a kid and his friends driving drunk, ran a red light at 51st ave and Indian School rd, and killed Ron. I had talked to Ron the day before about his wedding ideas for him and his fiance, and about him wanting to get family pictures done with his children, his fiance and her child. I didn’t even get a call, or a text. I saw it from a mutual friend on facebook that Ron had died in a car accident. Of course I didn’t believe it. Again, I called Ron’s phone repetitively. Each time I got no answer. Then I saw that his brother posted about his Memorial service, and I had to see for myself if this was a hoax or the real deal. Sure enough it was the real deal. There laid Ron in his casket with his Army uniform on. I couldn’t believe it. I was shocked, stunned, and could barely breathe. Ron seemed to attract all of the misfits as well, and took them in as family. He loved people, and he cared about people. He had a big bleeding heart, which got him into trouble sometimes. I still hear him asking if I want to go fishing, or to the shooting range. I still hear him yelling at the tv when there was an MMA fight on. I still see his goof ball grin on his face, the one that says “I’m being a big corny terd, and what are you going to do about it…” I can still recall our many conversations about life, love, and helping one another through our dark hours in our relationships with our significant others. Even when I wanted to give up on my husband, Ron helped me to keep going, and trust that it would get better, and that we would make it out of the darkness. This loss was the hardest. I don’t think there is another human being on this world, outside of my husband that is, that knew all of my deepest darkest secrets in my closet.

So, yes, maybe I’m tainted by my experience, and maybe my “rough” and hard life further complicates and dilutes my opinion of this Rich Texas boy, but 4 years probation is hardly a punishment for drunk driving.

My father got a DUI on a bicycle a few years back. He was riding his bike on the public sidewalk, in the middle of the night, in Avondale, no cars to be seen, or people out walking. He was stopped and given a DUI on a bike, and received 6 months in jail, and 3 years probation. He didn’t kill anyone, injure anyone, nor did he get behind the wheel of a car. He was riding a BICYCLE, yes a two wheeled BIKE! Down a residential street about 1 block from home, at 3am, in AVONDALE! He got jail and probation! This rich, snooty kid from Texas, (which by the way, has stricter DUI laws than AZ does), only get’s 4 years probation? He severely injured two and killed four others!

I posted about this in my mother’s site. My jaw has dropped reading some of the responses. Some say he’s “too young” to know right from wrong. He’s “too young” to spend so much time in jail. I’m sorry? Did he NOT have to take the driver’s test to get his license? I’m pretty sure most if not all driver’s tests are suppose to state something about it being ILLEGAL to drink and drive, that the punishment is jail time???? I’m having a very difficult time seeing how a 16 year old doesn’t know right from wrong in this situation? My 3 year old preschooler knows that drinking and driving is bad, and that you can go to jail for a long time if you drink and drive. He even makes his die cast cars go to jail if they are “drinking” and driving. He says that they only have cars version of juice and that’s gas, because he doesn’t want them to go to jail. I’m sorry, but if my 3 year old preschooler is capable of rational, clear thinking, and knowing that it is WRONG to drink and drive, than by all means a darn 16 year old, who has TAKEN A DRIVING TEST knows that it is WRONG and punishable by jail! Especially with all of these “Don’t Drink and Drive” billboards, ads, commercials, and events at schools with DARE. No, you can not convince me that this privileged 16 year old did not know that drinking and driving was illegal and wrong. You can’t convince me that he is too young. IF YOU ARE OLD ENOUGH TO DRIVE, and have that responsibility to do so, then you are old enough to be held accountable, and punished if you break the law.

IF, it had been a teen that was middle class or lower class, and not rich, would the judge have made the same ruling? I highly doubt it. The judge would have slapped that teen with the max sentence he could have, to teach “others” a lesson. So why is this rich kid any different? HE KILLED 4 PEOPLE AND SEVERELY INJURED 2 OTHERS! Hello! That’s MANSLAUGHTER! What’s the mandatory min? Oh yeah, 10 years! In PRISON!

Furthermore, if the court is going to rule that this teen is getting off because of his parent’s “Affluence” then they need to charged with accessory of the crime manslaughter. I honestly want to hear what the parents have to say about this. Daddio are you proud of your son now? He just used your money to get off scott free and then BLAMED YOU for being a terrible parent, not teaching him right from wrong, and that money can buy his troubles away.

One thing Scott and I have agreed on, is that NO MATTER how little or how much money we have, earn, acquire, etc. that our children will earn everything they get. They simply will not get a car on their 16th birthday unless they have shown they are responsible, they have a job, good grades, after school activities, and good attitude, plus pay for their own insurance, and registration. IF they get a ticket, we wont be paying it. They will have to learn to pay that on their own. Their car is their responsibility. Doesn’t mean that we can’t afford to get them a car, just means, we are not handing them anything, outside of basic needs and a few small wants. A car is a HUGE responsibility they must earn. We feel the same way about cell phones. Scott and I grew up just fine without a cell phone, and earning our own money for our own cars. Taught us to be responsible. Taught us that we were held accountable for our actions. Sure, my children are young right now, and who knows what will happen in the next 10 plus years, doesn’t change our view that they must earn these responsibilities and privileges. It’s simple here, they don’t earn it, and prove themselves trustworthy, they don’t get it. We’ve started teaching them that now. THEY KNOW that when we are in the store, that just because they want it, doesn’t mean we will get it for them. I say no, more than I say yes.

If I were this teens mother, in court I would have told the judge, to lock him up, and throw away the key until he learned his lesson. That doesn’t MEAN I wouldn’t love my son any less. That just means, I wont have a son that doesn’t pay the consequences for his actions. As a mother I would be applaud at a judge that let him off scott free, especially if he injured and killed people. I understand that 20 years or longer is a long time for a 16 year old, however, they know drinking and driving is illegal. More so they committed other felonies before this, they stole the beer, and drank underage! Are you telling me that a 16 year old doesn’t know that stealing and drinking underage is illegal? The LEGAL DRINKING AGE is 21! HELLO!

I have a friend who’s mother keeps bailing our her brother every time he’s in trouble with the law. She has yet to see that she continues to enable him and is teaching him that he doesn’t have to pay the price for his actions. If it were me, I’d say leave him in Jail. Maybe next time he would think about his actions before doing them.

No, daddies money bought his freedom, and it’s sad, because these families will not get the justice they deserve. These families wont get the closure they need. Worst of all, this teen will most likely re offend, because he knows that daddy’s money will once again come to the rescue.

The only lesson here is that Daddy’s money can buy your freedom. Which is sad, because other “affluence” teens will see this and think they too can get away with murder.

Jayden scares me sometimes. In the early mornings before I go and get him out of his room, sometime after daddy leaves for work, I hear him in their chatting up a storm. Before I never really put too much thought to it, because he shared a room with Zechariah. In our new house, they don’t share a room any longer.

The last week or so, Jayden has been talking, and while I stand by his door for a minute or two I hear what he’s saying. It’s not his normal pretend play talk with his cars, or stuffed animals, it was a conversation with someone. This is what I heard before I opened the door:

Jayden: “I know, I try to be a good bubby, but Yack (Zech) is mean to me. He take my toys I like play (to) play with. He hit me! All the time, he hit me!” …………(silence for a few seconds)………………. “Yes I did hit him back.” …………..(silence)……………. “(Be)cause he hit me first!I donut (don’t) know why he hit me, or taked my toys, but he does. I tell him to stop that.” …………..(silence)………… ” Will baby cookie (Colton) take my toys too?” ……………(silence)…………… “I donut (don’t) like being the big bubby no more!” …………………(silence)…………. “Okay, I try to. I love you to, kiss kiss. (blows a kiss).”

When I opened the door, I looked around his room very curious to see what he was doing, or talking to. This was a very on point conversation he was having, sounds a lot like conversations we have with him about being nicer to brother, even when brother isn’t being nice to him. I asked him after we got Zech out of his room, and started down the stairs, who he was talking to.

Me: “Jay bear, who were you talking to this morning in your room before mommy opened the door?”

Jayden: “I called(ed) nana mama.”

Me: “You called nana baby?”

Jayden: “Yes I did.”

Me: “Oh, which nana?”

Jayden: “Nana that lives in Heaven with my other pawpaw and the baby Jesus.” (Yeah, we are working on him learning that the Baby Jesus is all grown up now.)

Jayden: “Like dis (this) mama. (Holding his thumb and pinky in a “C” form, like a pretend phone, and put it up to his ear.) Den (then) I said, Hello? Baby Jesus, is my nana der (there)?”

Me: “Okay, then what happened?”

Jayden: “Nothing mama, nana come on the phone and I talked(ed) to her.”

Me: “Oh, well what did you and nana talk about?”

Jayden: “(A)bout bubby being mean to me, and taking my toys and hurting me. He hits me mama, so I told nana he hits me.”

Me: “Is that all Jay bear?”

Jayden: “Yes, and mama, I don’t want baby cookie (Colton) to be mean like Yack (Zeck), and take my toys or hit me mama. Will he be nicer to me?”

Me: “I don’t know, we will have to wait and see when baby Colton is born and gets older to play. You know mommy and daddy are working with your brother to not be so mean to him right? And you know you have to not be so mean to him, and share so he’s not mean to you, right?”

Jayden: “I’m not mean to Yack (Zeck) mama! I (will) try to be nice to baby Yack (Zeck). Okay mama!?”

Me: “Okay, Jay Bear. I love you bubby.”

Jayden: “I love you mama! Now I go pee in the potty, okay?”

Me: “(laughing) Okay Jay. Go pee.”

Okay, so my son is apparently talking to my mother. Man, what a conversation this morning. Got to say, I love my stinker bear. What a smart boy he is! I’m honestly a little shocked by this. Anyways, I have a doctors appointment to get to now, I will have to catch up more later.