About Me

I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

WEDNESDAY #2767

One Of My Very Own…

I bet men have been trying that shit since we were in caves.BTW, I once got an email stating that I posted too many references to anal sex. Well, kind emailer, I don't make all this stuff up. I steal it right off the internet and where go they, where go I.

>I'm pretty sure I have spent a third of my working life saying "What the fuck is wrong with you people." Either aloud or under my breath.

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>BE WARNED I am taking careful note of all of your sins and reporting back to God in my nightly prayers.

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>You wait and wait, then the minute you use the stethoscope to listen to your balls, the doctor walks in.

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>There Are Only Six Sex Positions Known To Man. All the rest are just variations of these six.

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PHOTOGRAPHY

A train on the Kazakh steppe.

I really like this one...

The Freezing Athabaska River in Jasper National Park, Canada

Hotaru Ika firefly squids, Japan

That’s how they mine diamonds. Mirny, Yakutia, Russia

Flamingos gathered in the shape of a flamingo, Yucatan PeninsulaIt was stated that that image was not manipulated. I didn't have time to research...anybody?

A temple covered in ash from the Ontake volcanic eruption, JapanKinda looks like one of those little dioramas with tiny people.>

I started to go to yoga today and then I remembered that I could lie on the floor in my own house without driving anywhere.

(That's a lie. I don't ever get on the floor anymore)

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This is the number one message I try to teach my young friends.

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Hacking isis

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Guy drops his gun overboard while duck hunting. Years later after the lake went down, he found it.

That's one lucky somebitch.

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Go big or go home.

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The countless billions of dollars poured into the War on Drugs has resulted in mass incarceration, corruption, political destabilization, violence, the rise of drug cartels, and systemic human rights abuses around the world. The one thing the War on Drugs hasn't done is stopped people from using drugs.

Politicians have an agenda, but you do not. Do what you can to stop the madness.

>American Bobsledder Katie has the Greatest Uniform in the History of Ever.

>Were you aware that the German army handed out crystal meth to its soldiers like candy. Imagine, an army who could feel no fear.

>I would love to have a beer with that guy. Don't you just know that he has some very interesting stories.

>Another look at the Nopesnake from the HellNo River in Fuckthatshitistan.

>This is what hail can do...Many years ago I was out of town painting a mural and I heard that a hail storm hit in my hometown of Columbia. So I called my wife and she said the hail stones were as big as golf balls. I told her to save me some of them in the freezer. When I got home we both went straight to the freezer where my first wife pulled out a small bowl with three or four pea-sized pieces of ice. I asked if she knew how big a golf ball was and she said, "Well, these were that big before I washed them off before I put them in the freezer."

>If you knew all the facts you would sleep in your car...One motel chain only washes the blankets once a year.....A YEAR!The decorative penises are a thoughtful touch.

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>This monorail in South Korea automatically fogs the windows when passing close to apartments to protect people's privacy.

>Mrs. Bryan spent six months collecting pubes via Twitter. Were blonde people more hesitant to donate theirs? Did she sterilize it? Is she completely out of your fucking mind?

>Buzzfeed has hired a full-time debunker to help clear the internet of such nonsense in real time...or as fast as they can when it hits the ether.

Other Headlines:

Woman Quit Her Job To Breastfeed Her Boyfriend Every Two Hours

> ¯\_(ツ)_/¯I will bet money that she went inside to tell the clerk that her pump doesn't work.And I would bet money that this woman is "multi-tasking"...another word for doing multiple things half-ass.

>Got this as an email:

>This exact same thing happened to me one time.Water leak on the floor above. It is a testament to quality paint.

>The difference in stability of a CD player that is turned off or on in microgravity.And, of course, the same effect keeps the whole ISS stable.

>This is how olives are harvested, in case you didn't know.

>So they unearthed this 2000 year old thing in southern Turkey.Looks sorta like a Starbuck's label.

>You can tell which inmates were involved in organized crime because their cells are much neater than other prisoners'.

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>Guy's good...If I am not mistaken, that is a very heavy framing hammer. I used to own one, but it was stolen.

>When your doctor suggests medical marijuana and you're trying to play it cool.Hahahabananahaha

>I really love the new couch my wife bought. In fact, I love it so much I called her my ex-wife's name just so I could sleep on it.