Friday, 12 August 2016

Personal Response to the 'Open Letter to the College & House of Bishops'

“We are committed to building a church that is
genuinely welcoming to all people, irrespective of the pattern of sexual
attraction which they experience. We would welcome initiatives to help local
churches do so in a way that is affirming of and consistent with Scripture and
would hope to support suggestions you might wish to bring to Synod to that effect.”

The above is an extract from an open letter to the
College and House of Bishops from 72 ‘conservative’ members of the Church of
England’s General Synod. The full text can be found here.

The letter essentially seeks to encourage the Bishops
to refrain from considering “any proposals that fly in the face of the historic
understanding of the church”. The signatories feel that “much more biblical
study is needed before we will be able as a Synod to make theologically
informed decisions about human anthropology and sexuality.”

For an extensive response to the letter from a
liberal/affirming perspective read Andrew Lightbown’s blog.

I want to offer a brief comment on the paragraph
quoted at the top of this article.

When the signatories say “we are committed to building
a church that is genuinely welcoming to all people, irrespective of the pattern
of sexual attraction which they experience” I actually don’t know whether to
laugh or cry. I'm sorry if some of you think this is an inappropriate response, but it's genuinely thrown me.

I am simply bewildered. I acknowledge that I am a bear
of little brain, but I can’t begin to get my paltry grey cells around it.

Because what it seems to be saying – behind the words –
is ‘We are committed to a church that is ‘genuinely welcoming’, but…”

For, as the letter unfolds, it would seem that ‘genuinely
welcoming’ is not be defined in relationship to people who actually might like
to be welcomed (i.e. outsiders, visitors, gay people who would like to have
their relationship celebrated in the sight of God), but by the those who are
already the ‘gate-keepers’.

Now, ‘gatekeeping’ is inevitably part of being human. We
probably all carry around within us ideas about what ‘genuine welcome’ looks
like. It will be drawn from Biblical, cultural, inter-cultural ideas and experience.

So, as a vicar I might say, ‘My church is very
welcoming…indeed, it’s trying to be genuinely welcoming.’ And perhaps I could
adduce all sorts of examples of how welcoming our church is, primarily drawn
from people who are already ‘within’ I suspect. (I suspect that when church's do 'audits' about welcome they draw far too often from the experiences of 'insiders' rather people on the edge or new members.)

But surely it’s a crummy account of ‘welcome’ that
precisely excludes the experience of those who are not ‘on the inside’, who
aren’t the ‘gatekeepers’.

It would be like me, as a vicar, being told (as I have
been from time to time), ‘Vicar, your church isn’t very welcoming because
of x, y, z,’ but insisting that – while that feedback is welcome – it’s not the
visitor/stranger/outsider’s job to tell ‘us’ how welcoming we are. They are not the arbiters of what welcome looks like.

And I think that – given the rhetorical formats this letter
uses (e.g. talking about ‘patterns of sexual attraction they experience’ rather
than someone’s ‘sexuality’) – the signatories aren’t really that interested in
hearing these constantly reiterated refrains:

"A symptom of the Church’s lack of welcome and
affirmation of LGBT people is the refusal to bless and celebrate our committed,
loving relationships.

When 'we' (LGBT people) repeatedly say that the Church is a bit rubbish at welcoming us can you please take that seriously? We're not making it up.

That to talk of ‘genuine welcome’ while treating our
relationships and lives as failed, second-rate or to be carefully ‘controlled’
is not what welcome looks like."

Here’s what the Church's 'position' typically communicates:

"We like to talk about ‘genuine welcome’ but what we really mean (wrapped up in hand-wringing,
and an apologetic shrug’) is ‘conditional welcome’.

We like to put up signs saying ‘genuinely welcome’, but how often we invite people into limited affirmation, love
and a bleakness that encourages self-loathing."

And even affirming LGBT priests like me feel the
cheapness of that welcome. For time and again I’ve said to LGBT couple friends who want to marry in church,
‘Sorry, hun, I can’t marry you in church…but I can offer private prayer.”

And if 'we' think offering, e.g. private prayer as an
alternative to blessing or marriage constitutes ‘genuine welcome’ in the modern world, we’ve probably had a very limited experience of being ‘unwelcome.’

And – here’s the thing – I reckon most everyone in the
pews and in ministry (even in some relatively conservative settings) gets that ‘conditional’
welcome is not the same as ‘genuine’ welcome.

Because actually most Christians are suckers for
commitment and love and want to celebrate and bless it. Because they see God
blessing those people’s committed lives.

Hi Rachel, thanks for writing and publishing this. I've long found it odd that while I'm in a hetero partnership, I'm welcome-ish, but if I express other aspects of my sexuality, I'm not. To be honest though, I find myself less than welcome as an (ADHD) woman with a mind and ideas of her own, who doesn't want to sit still and be talked AT! Stopped going to church 18 months ago when the new vicar reverted the format to, 'great, I have an audience and I'm gonna enjoy this'!!

I give glory to the most powerful man on earth and want to use this medium to thank him appriopriately, who single handily brought my lover back to me within the period of 48 hours that i contacted him. And i want to introduce to the world about the man behind the success of my relationship whose name is Dr.EZIZA and his contact details via email is: ezizaspellhome@gmail.com And believe me just within the period of 48 hours you will get your lover back…..

Our marriage lacked understanding, it was like every normal marriage as long as I didn't say anything that my husband disagreed with or win an argument. Am always trying to know the ins and outs of his life as his wife, and it turned into a huge blow-out. Our divorce wasn't really about our lack of understanding according to my therapist, it was as a result of a spiritual separation. She introduced me to DR OGUDUGU {greatogudugu@gmail.com} for spiritual reconciliation/understanding, proper healing and cleansing of wounds left my husband. My therapist was so honest to me and never wanted to waste my time, she saw that I have been living in pain with my devastating marriage and my heart has ached for years. I was in dire need of permanent solution from DR OGUDUGU after he assured me of smooth and easy result within 48hours immediately the spell is done. Like the honest man he is, Doc. proved my therapist right and brought back my husband exactly the way I wanted. My time with DR OGUDUGU was so magical, I never know anyone has the power to unit a broken home and heal a broken heart. Thanks to my therapist {Monica} and DR OGUDUGU {Email: greatogudugu@gmail.com...Website: http://greatdrogudugusolutiontemple.webs.com/ or call him on WHATSAPP: +2348055304321} for making us a better couple and example to a younger generation.

Hello my name is Collins Guzman from London i know a renowned spell caster who helped me when i had problems in my marriage with my Wife. If you need a right place to solve your relationship problems contact DR.OGUDUGU TEMPLE on: ( GREATOGUDUGU@GMAIL.COM ) OR WHATSAPP +2348139793075 he is the right choice, he is a great man that has ever been.

Hello my name is Collins Guzman from London i know a renowned spell caster who helped me when i had problems in my marriage with my Wife. If you need a right place to solve your relationship problems contact DR.OGUDUGU TEMPLE on: ( GREATOGUDUGU@GMAIL.COM ) OR WHATSAPP +2348139793075 he is the right choice, he is a great man that has ever been.