There are many wise and silly items scribbled by the Muse
Well, of course! Well, of course
And men do very silly things, when they go on the booze
Well, of course! Well, of course
And when a fellow's gone upon some dainty little miss
He shouldn't seek to worry her - make eyes ar steal a kiss
No, quietly enamour her, and wait for wedded bliss
Well, of course! Why, of course.

Chorus:I wouldn't tell you anything that's wrong - of course
Still, I'll tell you how you ought to go along - of course
You can make your love vows hotter
When you've tied the knot, and got her
Well, of course! Why, of course

Does a lady like a flit-off to the sunny South of France?
Well, of course! Well, of course
If her beau pays all the ex's, does she just jump at the chance?
Why, of course! Why, of course
But still, without dear mother, not an inch with him she'll roam
For ma will play propriety, when they go o'er the foam
Though, when they do arrive there, mother's easily left at home
Well, of course! Why, of course.

Chorus:I wouldn't tell you anything that's wrong - of course
Still, I'll tell you how they sometimes go along - of course
While dear ma is sitting dozing
He sits somewhere else - proposing?
Well, of course! Why, of course

Does a maiden fair like dancing at some high-class fancy ball
Why of course, Why of course
Especially with a cavalier who's debonnaire and tall
Why of course, Why of course
But when the night's half over, and the stars twinkle up above
He says: 'Put on your hat and wraps, and sup up West, my dove.'
He spends his cash like water, simply through platonic love
Well, of course! Why, of course.

Chorus:I wouldn't tell you anything that's wrong - of course
Still, I'll tell you how they sometimes go along - of course
When they've drunk to one another
Then he sees her home to mother
Well, of course! Why, of course