Thursday, September 1, 2016

I'm sure nobody remembers me, but that does not stop me from putting fingers to keyboard and reaching out to whoever will listen. I used to be a writer. In fact, I was a method writer, kind of like a method actor....you know, the kind who become their character while they're filming a movie. I became my characters as I wrote my novels because that was my escape. I thought it was my creativity doing its thing, but only recently - with all the life changes I've gone through - have I come to realize that it wasn't my creativity but rather my psyche that was "doing its thing", providing me with an escape from a life I really did not want but never had the courage to walk away from.

That creativity was fueled by my muse, who I can only identify as Spain. Yes, an entire nation served as my inspiration for every single story I wrote. Actually, it was specifically the city of Seville, and I was obsessed with the life I had once lived there and could not let go. I now see how pathetic I was.

I have since found my courage. I changed my life. I kept bridges in tact, but I moved on.

I fell in love.

And then one morning, I woke up to realize something that should have made me sad, but didn't. I was looking at a picture of Seville that a friend had posted, and I thought to myself, What a pretty place.

It was that bland, my thought. That simple. That emotionless. What a pretty place. That's it. No nostalgia to tighten my stomach and grip my heart, no longing - or añoranza - that I had spent years writing about, no sense of incompleteness or that I was in the wrong place in this world. I just thought, What a pretty place.

That's when it hit me that I had moved on. And just today, months since that revelation that Spain is now a pretty place I can enjoy in photos, it occurs to me why I haven't written anything in the past couple of years...

I have lost my muse.

But here is the beauty of it...

I'm alright with that. I am happy where I am in life, for the first time since I lived in Seville, which was exactly have my lifetime ago. As I soon celebrate the birthday that unarguably sends me into the depths of middle age (but 50 is the new 40, right?), I will work on nurturing my creativity through muse-free writing, through the knowledge that I can be my own source of inspiration, and I am excited to see where this will all go.

What excites you lately? Let's feed the creative passion and share our motivation.

Nice to meet you. I'm...

In the words of Phil Collins and Genesis, "Follow Me."

My Favorite Quotes

“I’m like the roller coaster you can never get off of.”-My daughter (A child with a true sense of self)

"The creative person is both more primitive and more cultivated, more destructive, a lot madder and a lot saner than the average person."-Frank Barron

RememberFilter not the silliness you writeBetter to let its vibrant aura breatheThan extinguish the treasure torch.And......always wear your wander shoes.-Nicole Ducleroir One Significant Moment at a Time

"Be yourself; everyone else is taken."-Oscar Wilde

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