SYRIAN WEAPONS MAY BE DESTROYED AT SEA BUT BY MEN NOT SEA CREATURES OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT

November 24 2013

Damascus, Syria - Just about everyone with half a brain has agreed that destroying the chemical weapons store that Syria has amassed is a good thing. That is why the world has agreed to do that, to destroy every single chemical weapon that country has in order to safeguard the people of Syria from that particular manner of death.

The Syrian government also, surprisingly, agreed very readily to such a process and from that point it was on, happening. The Organisation for the Prohibition of Chemical Weapons (OPCW), managed by the UN, rushed into the country and immediately started taking apart the chemical arsenal in Syria and everything seemed to be going swimmingly, until it came to actually destroying the chemicals.

That is where things hit a blockade because no country has been willing to allow the chemicals past their borders for destruction. Doing that, destroying 798 tonnes of chemicals and other related materials is not feasible inside Syria because of the war and no other country, even those in favour of the weapons being destroyed, have been willing to participate. Now the OPCW has formulated a plan to just dump the chemicals in the ocean since that is really the only option left to them anymore.

“Everything will be done according to the international regulations and in a very safe manner and all measures, in fact, will be taken appropriately either during the transportation of those substances by ship and also during the destruction,” said Ahmet Üzümcü, director general of the OPCW.

Men and women will take the chemicals abroad and destroy them at sea. There is little risk, they say, of ocean creatures aiding in the disposal or of becoming mutated freaks as a result of the process.

It’s not clear how many will protest that process as well and at the same time offer no practical solutions to destroying the chemicals.

“It’s kind of a funny thing that these countries are totally supporting the destruction of these weapons but then don’t want to participate in any way. I’m not sure how they think this thing will work without the cooperating but then I guess they haven’t really thought about that much either,” said Scrape TV International analyst Gustav Hander. “Then again, they aren’t trying to destroy these weapons in New York City, they are asking smaller countries who, they assume I guess, care as little about themselves as we do about them and so I guess they feel they are being picked on.”

Latvia or some country like that was the first to reject the work and then everyone else did the same.

“So that leaves them with few options but to destroy them at sea. That sucks because it’s a lot more dangerous doing that, what with the boats rocking around and stuff, but they have few options and just have to go with what they have, not what they want, and that is not their fault at all,” continued Hander. “So just think about that Latvia or whatever your name is the next time you start to complain about something. You had the chance to help the world and you ditched us, we’ll remember that the next time you ask for help, or we won’t, probably won’t to be perfectly honest.”

Syrian officials have also declined to have the weapons destroyed in the marginally peaceful areas of their country.