Friday, November 08, 2013

Comfort and Respect

Hello Blog!

This week’s topic is about
if we think there is an inconsistency between international students’
expectations of women and racism/sexism. I think there is inconsistency in the
ideas, mainly because the ideas are looked at differently by the two groups being
discussed: international students and students native to the U.S. My ideas
about racism/sexism can certainly be different than someone else’s perception
of racism/sexism, especially if that person was raised in a different culture
where these topics are treated differently.

I

n terms of one being
tutored by someone that looks like you (as in the scenario of a U.S. black man
being tutored by a British black man), I definitely think that the tutee would
feel more comfortable with a person that is of the same race/gender. This has
something to do with our need to relate to each other and build rapport with
each other. If a tutee is an Asian female, then she may relate to an Asian
female tutor more than a white male solely based on the fact that the tutor is an
Asian female. The tutee may think, “If this person is of the same gender/race,
then she knows what it is like to be an Asian and a female, and maybe has even
grown up around some of the same circumstances.” I think this concept applies
to both race and gender.

I think a relationship
built off of being comfortable and a relationship built off of mutual respect
are two different things. However, this may be a cultural, biased view as well.
As I see it, comfort can come from a person’s demeanor or looks, whereas
respect is something that is earned. I suspect that this is different in other
countries because I have experienced the disrespect of a male international
student. I felt that he was being sexist towards me because I was a woman and
he deserved to be tutored by a man. During the entire session, he did not act
as though he wanted to learn how to correctly write English. Rather, he wanted
to do everything by himself. He barely even allowed me to speak. If I made a
mark, he immediately wrote me off and tried to do his own thing. I was not
allowed to explain why I made a mark on his paper or what I had seen that might
have been incorrect. This may have been because of customs in his country
rather than anything I did or said. Perhaps the culture in which he was raised
gave men automatic respect concerning gender and treated women in a way that
would indicate that women are beneath men. I did not appreciate the
degradation, but who am I to judge one’s culture.

On the other hand, where do
I draw the line when trying to respect another’s cultural values and morals? Tutees
certainly have the right to be uncomfortable, especially if we, as Americans,
are breaking their cultural norms, but I think enough is enough when the tutor
feels so uncomfortable with the way he or she is being treated that the tutor
cannot fulfill the duties of the tutoring role. The Writing Center is our home
field, and if we feel extremely uncomfortable due to discrimination, something
is wrong. In that case, I would just need to take myself out of the situation
and perhaps get another tutor to fulfill my duties.

Feeling comfortable and
respected is important, but sometimes international students from other cultures
have a different interpretation of who makes them comfortable or uncomfortable
and who deserves respect. Even though we may not always look alike, sound
alike, or dress alike, it is still our job in the Writing Center to make
students feel as comfortable and respected as possible, even if we do not
receive the same courtesy.