When a woman loves has fallen in love with a man, she usually won’t take the initiative in pouring her heart out and saying “I love you,” and will instead send out subtle messages for you to detect.

For example, while your group of young friends are on the way back from singing songs at the KTV, a girl suddenly says to you: “Can you help me keep this bag of milk warm?” At this time, men will certainly feel very puzzled, thinking: “Why is she asking me to help her warm [this milk]? And further, can the hands really warm it?” Actually, is already purposefully giving you a subtle message.

2. Take initiative to strike up a conversation

In general, boys usually start talking with girls, and this can easily lead the girl to think the boy is a lecher. Since this is a typical way of making conversation, many girls tend to refuse it, or treat the boy with disdain.

The opposite situation is when a girl takes the initiative to start talking with a boy, the boy absolutely will not say anything like this girl is lecherous, maybe because he himself is already beside himself with happiness [that a girl is talking to him]?

Likewise, a girl taking the initiative to talk with a boy, aside from work situations, is very likely that girl is attracted to you, and is interested in you. Otherwise, a girl would rather be beaten to death than risk the kind of social criticism that goes along with that behavior [talking with a boy].

3. Often ask about your well-being

It is without a doubt that all of us, whether meeting an old buddy or just a normal friend, all ask how one another are doing, making the kind of small talk that that has existed for ages that millions of people are familiar with to show our respect for each other. However, most of the time it is old men doing so without sincerity.

So, if we see a situation developing in the opposite direction, and we see a girl fussing over a man, for example saying: “Why are you just wearing such little clothing? Such a cold day, how do you expect others not to worry?” may seem like just normal politeness, but in fact is her limitless love and concern for you. This is the kind of thing that only a wife says to her husband and for her to say it to you now, is the implications are naturally self-evident.

4. Making something out of nothing

When a guy likes a girl, he will be so nervous his nose will bleed, uncontrollably, yet with just a few words, that girl can effortlessly stop the nosebleed that could not be stopped. This world is very strange, that there can be this kind of kung fu, it truly make us feel so powerless.

Similarly, when a girl likes a boy, there will be quite a few things you could never imagine that will happen to you. For example, if a girl suddenly turn to you and ask: “When do you need me to return that book you lent me? I’m almost done but I’d like to read more, do you have any other books, like this, similar to this, others, whatever, anything is fine.” This sort of thing, definitely will make you puzzled.

5. Trance-like expression

Some people say that whenever a girl likes a man, there is always something called hormones that will cause mischief, something secreted on a woman’s body, often causing trouble for women making them unable to control themselves. No matter matter how hard she tries, she will get closer to the man she likes. During this time, however, a girl can’t get too close or other people will suspect that their relationship isn’t proper. But if she is too far away, she won’t be able to smell that man’s mesmerizing scent.

So, this kind of distance really makes things ambiguous, and in this state of ambiguity, a trance-like expression can be revealing. So when you see someone prompt a girl to talk and it takes forever for her to react, it is exactly that mischief at work.

6. Attentively ask you questions

All along Chinese people have liked to ask about other people’s private affairs, asking about how this family’s kids got into trouble or why that family’s kid got into a fight. This is nothing to be surprised about, but when your friend tells you that there is often someone asking them about your life, your information and situation, you must not not always think this is just other people being nosy, especially if the other person is a man, because it may mean he has bad intentions and wants to ruin you.

On the other hand, if it is a girl, a delicate girl, then your caution is unnecessary. With this, there is only one possibility: She has already begun to like you, only except she is not yet ready to say so, and is just a prelude to a secret love.

7. Winking

After having used the many methods above, a woman starts to make use of a deadly weapon – winking. This is a an oft-used weapon of devastating power that women use, making even the most powerful men defenseless.

Every girl will do everything she can to grab hold of her Prince Charming, sparing no effort and exhausting all her the resources she can spare. There is only one objective: to use her eyes to accomplish the final mission. Although this is an often-discussed problem, but how many men can take this kind of seduction? When a woman throws her head back at you like that, even a great hero would be distraught.

8. A shy, red face

If we say a man gets nervous around a woman, that a nosebleed is a normal greeting gift he gives her, then a girl meeting a man she likes will be so shy that her face turns red, all the way to her ears, her entire face flushed, just like a bright shiny spring tomato making you full of sentimental feelings. You this way means you have absolutely fallen into women’s trap, because Sunzi’s “The Art of War” has a section that reads “Allow somebody more latitude at first to keep a tighter rein later on,” which talks about this very thing.

Sometimes, she can fall back in retreat and attack your defenses’ weakest point at the same time, because she can always find your most weakest point on your body. This is many men’s biggest pitfall.

9. Giving gifts

When the time is right, a girl will always give gifts to a guy she likes. Sometimes it’s a T-shirt, other times it might be a coat, or maybe that thing that men put so much importance on, a wristwatch. As a symbol of a man’s age a wristwatch has already gone out of fashion, but in the eyes of today’s women, it’s still a great gift, because the men who receive a wristwatch already know that it is a very unusual/special gift packed full of meaning. Because the wristwatch includes the girl’s true feelings, it will be very natural for the relationship to begin.

So, when a girl gives a man the something at the appropriate time, a man will understand that you have great affection for him.

10. “Sa jiao” [behaving like a spoiled child] in front of you

Women who act like spoiled children has been talked about many times. If we say this behavior is the mark of an open/loose woman, it seems a little like depriving other women of being able to do this. To put it another way, if you act like a spoiled child in front of the man you like then you’re already quite open enough.

On the same note, a girl who knows how to act like a spoiled child can easily get pity from a man. This lets a woman defeat a man’s best defenses. For example, if you say “Hey let’s go eat!” and then add in a few whiny baby-like noises. Or, if you refuse still, she’ll grab you and pull your clothes and say “Let’s goooo, let’s goooo, just for a bit!” so in the end, you’ll end up going after all.

Comments:

天使的妹妹儿:

If I fall in love with a guy, I just tell him up-front.

糖醋排骨啦:

If I fall in love with a guy, I’ll be nice to him and let him feel that I like him…

xiayign123:

How come I don’t feel like isn’t really correct…

tangzycool:

I feel like the title shouldn’t say “fallen in love,” it should just say something like “feel pretty good about you” or that she isn’t ruling out developing a relationship with you.

寸寸青丝1204:

…having 2-3 is enough, having more actually feels a little strange, a bit over the top.

significantfrank:

This actually makes a bit of sense.

chhq1130:

When a man likes a woman, how can you tell? Who can sum it up for us?

thisisourgame:

Nowadays they [women] are all really straightforward.

胡阳北路:

There are really straightforward women out there, Northeastern girls are relatively straightforward: “I really like you, do you like me?”

三牛米:

The first time my previous girlfriend met me, we had a gentle embrace when we parted. As soon as I leaned in I could smell the simple but elegant perfume she was wearing and so I quickly fell captive to her.

春香miamia:

Acting like a spoiled kid…
Not my style.

阳光不生锈:

To be honest, I don’t really think this is really correct either. Today’s women are really strange…

I love how the “Looking for a beautiful Asian bride?” advertisement is nicely situation right below this article

Alex

“If we say a man gets nervous around a woman, that a nosebleed is a normal greeting gift he gives her, then a girl meeting a man she likes will be so shy that her face turns red, all the way to her ears, her entire face flushed, just like a bright shiny spring tomato making you full of sentimental feelings.

You this way means you have absolutely fallen into women’s trap, because Sunzi’s “The Art of War” has a section that reads “Allow somebody more latitude at first to keep a tighter rein later on,” which talks about this very thing.”

This thread is now about things in relationships are comparable to military manouvres.

Once I was dating a girl and thought the relationship was going well, but she seemed a little distant. Then one day, I went to her house and found she had moved out – nothing remained. If this happens, you have absolutely fallen into the woman’s trap, much like Stalin’s Russian troops employed a “scorched earth” policy to deny the Germans anything of use in WW2.

Once I was dating a girl and brought some flowers to her work. Unfortunately, she worked at a school and all the children saw it and laughed. My girlfriend was then very strict to them to make them stop laughing. In this way, a technically principled gesture actually adversely affected hundreds of children, much like Israel’s indiscrete bombing campaign adversely affected hundreds of children in the Gaza Strip.

All the women in my life act like spoiled children. Who knew I was such a stud?

Thomas McKay

I usually pick up girls in front of a middle school. Sell them some drugs and bada bing bada boom. I’m ugly but we all have something to offer.

jored

you are very clever

Luther

I’d say that it is usually pretty clear when a woman likes you. The trick is to make that last and the secret is that you need to be best friends as well. If you can become best friends with the one who you are in love with then the relationship will last and can be very fulfilling.

The problem with many relationships is that they are built on that first, brief, rush of lust and emotion. Once that fades, people start wandering which is why being friends is so important to maintain things.

doc b.

It’s also pretty clear when they don’t to. I think women use me as a test dummy sometimes because of some of the weird relationships i have been in.

VoluptuousONE

Men are interesting creatures who (when in love) will open their calendar for you. You become priority.

I’ve dated men who acted like I was the only woman in the room and others who messaged me all day long.

But it’s true that unless you continue to grow together and have good chemistry, then eventually things fizzle. Too many games and mixed messages can ruin a good thing.

doc b.

Friends is a lesson well learned.

Yang

ahh internet making everyone a guru

And I have yet to see a guy nosebleed when he sees a hot girl … all that remains in anime haha

Josiah

I think my girlfriend jumped straight to number 10.

NL

Anyway, I’m wondering if:

“Sometimes, she can fall back in retreat and attack your defenses’ weakest point at the same time, because she can always find your most weakest point on your body. This is many men’s biggest pitfall.”

Is just a long winded way of saying: “then, when you least expect it, she’ll kick you in the balls and then run away.”

Haha. I knew it! chinasmack is turning to seventeen or some shit. Wait… maybe it’s not so bad. I commend your efforts in trying to reach the assortment of freaks, creeps, psychos, racists, losers, furries and FQ’s on the blog.

Great job!

Whatever you do DO NOT negotiate with the troll terrorists.

Peteryang

1 sign is enough:

you ask her out, she agrees.

kidaihuan

You have white skin? She’s talking to you? Yep, she’s in love.

Honestly, though, this article is pretty bang on in regards to Shanghai girls.

hero

Was this written by a mentally retarded Chinese girl?

Seriously, I felt like puking after reading the first few sentences.

Jia

If the nose bleed things happens continuously (to both) but he gets too defensive about how he feels, is it a sign?

I’ve never had a nosebleed in my life. Does this mean I’ve never loved anyone?

Chris

@ Okura

I lolled, you have an eye for subtlety.

liz

@ kidaihuan

If only it was that way with the oposite sex

Cranium

So every woman in China must be in love then…god they’re whiny. The price we have to pay ;)

liz

@ Cranium
I suppose every country sees they’re women in a different like. In Australia most girls are seem as too self-sufficient. Some men in our country feel the need to be needed in every aspect of a woman’s life.

I have my own car, I own my own home, I have an education and a wonderful job.
Why do you see women in China as whiny?

Cranium

It’s a stereotype but I feel it is correct for a large % of girls here.

In Canada, call a 20-something year old a girl and she will be upset. In China, call a 20-something year old a woman and she will hit you.

Seems Chinese girls want to stay girls…whining and all.

Like I said, its not true for all…but its seems accurate

liz

I can understand this. Even though I am only 19, I am already considered a woman in this culture. I think we weigh maturity on our accomplishments and behaviour.

I must contest the translation of “sa jiao” as acting like a spoiled child in this case. The term here is much more indicative of specific physical behavior — hugging, holding onto arms, or otherwise (traditionally female) physical expressions of love or interest.

Now I suppose there are cases where sajiao involves acting spoiled, and can carry negative connotations, but I hear it in Taiwan here an awful lot and it is almost always used in a very affectionate way, directed at dogs, cats, and lovers (along with the Taiwanese counterpart phrase, (sai-nai).

Then again, I haven’t spent a lot of time in China, and its possible that the Taiwanese sense of the word is slightly more positive and has overridden the original mandarin sense of the word.

Correct me if I’m wrong on any of this.

Chris

@A-gu

Thanks for the insight. I wasn’t quite sure myself, though the original article doesn’t exactly make me think the connotations are positive in this particular case.

infly

@A-gu

You are wrong.

Sa jiao, in this case means acting like a spoiled brat.

i.e. a girl demanding her bf take her out to dinner, despite him being overloaded with work etc

Yabo

Wow. Stupid article.

Anders

Good Article, I need to understand more about girls

bopomofo

@ Cassull what “Asian bride” ad are you talkin ’bout? All I see is a pic of a nice rack.

fl1999

Never understood this “nosebleed” thing about Asians. Seems they even believe it can happen…

As a dude that has had several great experiences with girls and currently giving a big smile on my future wife’s face. I can say that this article maybe great in exploring the thinking of females about guys. I dont’t know who her boyfriend is, but… well.. I wont say it.

In my opinion, I am no guru. But, I have always gotten high standard girls.

Here is what girls like:

1. Confident men. (Nose bleed guy is a turn off to the hotties. He may have a good time with a few girls. In my opinion, people will only treat you how you treat yourself. If you show fear, thats how you will be treated. A girl is just a girl. What is truly special… is usually inside. So, why feel intimidated. Even, the hotties, supermodels and dancers fart… loudly… I know…)

2. Men with drive and aims in life. (When a mans life is based around his girlfriend, you know the end is near… She will dump him or use him.)

3. A real gentleman. ( I say real, because you should have good habits and hygene, BEFORE you meet a girl you like. Don’t try to change when you start dating. Its fake. Girls do this shit too…)

4. A smart risk-taker and planner. (So can I kiss you? Stupid. So, can we go somewhere tonight? Stupid. I can’t dance. Stupid.) Life is full of wussy men. Don’t just take. But, never ask and never be afraid to have fun and enjoy. Be prepared. Those who are afraid to leave their comfort zone, will STAY in their comfort zone. A man was born with balls, he should keep them.

5. Independent.(nuff said. At least have some independent thinking and show you are more than capable of taking care of business. Girls LOVE guys that don’t NEED them. I know it sounds stupid, but its true. If you NEED a relationship in order to live, well… you might just be a nut case… This doesn’t mean be disloyal and treat a girl like trash. Nor does it mean dont appreciate her or sleep with many women. You should know how to think for yourself in a fair manner and will not agree with everything she does or says.)

6. Never supplicate…. (Be helpful, when you should. But, never go out of your way to please someone you dont know, just to get them to go out with you. Instead, have fun and build their interest in you. Hell, over supplication is a turn off even later in the relationship. Basically, don’t take shit…)

7. Principles and Dignity
This is often not talked about, but every man should have some dignity and principles. Just being good and hooking girls and getting them into your bed, does not mean you can keep a relationship going. The more a relationship continues, the more your character will be tested. If you have a got a hot girlfriend, other girls will try you. Jealousy among women is deep. You need to be able to trust yourself to make the right decisions in a relationship and with women in general. Not all girls are angels, if you are weak you will fall down with them.

In terms of girls loving boys, I think many young girl dont really know love. They are more so focusing on infatuation, which is the feel of deep attraction to someone. Love really can only be seen with time. After you know a person for a while, their true side comes out. That is what you should really love.

I know I am about to be flammed to death, but I couldn’t resist….

skljfsadopif

Gosh, all the silly games humans play! In a perfect world, if a girl likes a guy she’ll just approach him and ask him to stick it in and when a guy falls in love with a girl he’ll simply let her know by sticking it in.

Guys getting nosebleeds because being around pretty girls seems to be pretty widespread in Asian culture but I’m really curious as to how it started because I have NEVER witnessed it happening or even heard of it happening. It’s funny, but seems a bit exaggerated.

I didn’t dig some of the stuff that seemed to reinforce social attitudes that women need to be demure and passive. I’m all for getting rid of stupid negative social stigmas against girls who feel comfortable chatting with guys. Doing so really shouldn’t be equated with them being “kai fang” or loose or whatever. That’s pretty recockulous.

And yes, like some of the Chinese comments, girls should just be more straight-forward.

@ okura:

LOL, I was thinking the SAME thing. That one was perfectly ripe.

@ A-gu:

I agree but I think “sa jiao” can have both negative and positive connotations. Usually, it means being a bit childish but not necessarily for bad reasons. It’s like being lovey-dovey, silly, clingy, etc. I think “sa jiao” and “fa dia” are both quite hard to translate.

@ The John:

No, you’re pretty spot on. It’d be interesting to see who would flame you.

Taiwanese people are generally sissy. They pretty much sa-jiao all the time, regardless the gender.

Name

skljfsadopif is right. All these pathetic, retarted, and pointless games people play is the main cause divorce (40%-50% in the US) and unhappy marriages (I know lots of Chinese people that only stay married because of a kid, or because they can’t afford a divorce, or bu xiang diao lian).

too yellow

@bopomofo

at least you see racks, all I see is USA Data (R)…

Never dated in China, so I don’t know. (hey I was 11 back then)
But the nose bleed section does show the author watches too much anime.

Joe #2

> That’s pretty recockulous.

Do we have a word filter here that’s replacing swear words? Because that’s pretty hilarious. Seems like a clbuttic case of a filter buttuming that just because a word contains part of a banned word, it’s a swear word.

I don’t think there’s a profanity filter judging by the profanity employed by many including myself throughout the comments here.

@ skljfsadopif:

LoL, +1.

lilgirl

then stop calling me princess!

Asis

Yet more evidence of the archaic gender boundaries that exist on the mainland.

Now for my Kai the ‘calm ‘down guys’ moderator caveats:

1. Yes, I am aware that this is a generalisation and that not ALL Chinese girls necessarily behave like that. Just a majority.

(Generalisations, Kai… are something that has to be done in life. The Lonely Planet will tell u that Malaysia is largely a Catholic country. Are you going to write to them to defend those minorities who are not???)

2. Yes, I am aware that the West is also not perfect. Believe me, the ‘Spice Girl’ female liberation model that we have seen occur in Western countries is like a cruel joke. However, at least we have laws protecting women.