Price Of Generosity Is Easy To Figure

Dear Miss Manners-My father asked whether he could go on the three-week vacation my husband and I are taking this summer with our two teenagers, and we agreed that he could.

I am a homemaker, and my husband works to bring income to the family. Our children are 14 and 16. Please help us figure out the expenses.

We might want to get only one hotel room to cut down. We checked, and they do allow air mattresses, making it OK for five people to stay in one room.

How do we split the costs? Do my husband and father split 50-50? Or does my husband pay more than half?

Gentle Reader-Miss Manners does not understand your arithmetic.

It seems to her that since your part of the family includes four of the five people involved, you and your husband would be responsible for four-fifths of the bill. If children are charged half-price, then you would pay three-fourths.

Miss Manners knows of no hotel that charges only wage earners, or only adult males.

Of course, relatives often want to be generous to one another.

Your father might offer to pay more, if he has more; or you might offer to cover some of his costs, if he has little.

But for an outsider like Miss Manners to suggest that it is proper for one member of a family to pay much more than his fair share for the privilege of traveling with his own daughter`s family would be outrageous.

Dear Miss Manners-When one eats rice with a meal, what eating utensils should one use?

I prefer a spoon, but my girlfriend insists that rice should be eaten with a fork. We have argued about this numerous times.

Would it make a difference if the meal was formal or informal? I will not eat rice until I hear from you.

Gentle Reader-Miss Manners hopes you have at least been eating spaghetti in the meantime, preferably not with a spoon. She doesn`t want you to starve to death.

But she doesn`t want you eating rice with a spoon, either, even informally.

And there is no use arguing that it`s easier. Miss Manners would only point out that millions of people use chopsticks to eat rice, with a great deal of success.

And she also would mention the satisfaction that comes from following the eating customs of one`s own society, whatever they happen to be.