Thursday, January 1, 2009

With the New Year now upon us, like most other people in this world have their New Year's Resolutions. I was thinking about it today (of course...at the gym) and I came up with what I thought was a good list. Now, the criteria for the list are items that would improve my life and if possible the lives of others (this last part is NOT a requirement...after all, reading this blog automatically improves the lives of it's readers). So...here is my list.

#1. Become even more sexy! I know that this may be hard for some of you to understand, but my sexiness is a constant work in perfection. When you reach my level of sexiness, you may say how can one increase their sexiness level. For me, it all has to do with ensuring that my physical appearance remains well groomed (including those eyebrows), going to the gym (so that I can have that sexy bod), and wearing sexy provocative clothing.

#2. Develop a greater self-esteem!This may be hard for some of you to read, but I do from time to time suffer from low self-esteem. I can typically overcome this when I am watching myself at the house of vanity (i.e. the gym...you know with all the mirrors that you can watch yourself in) lifting weights and seeing my muscles get BIG.

Another important component to developing a greater self-esteem is sharing it with others. That is the sole purpose for this blog...enough said!

#3. Healing the world...OF THE UGLINESS THAT IS ALL AROUND US.***If you haven't yet, please donate to our foundation 10,000 strong. Remember 0.05%of all proceeds will go towards the purchase of combs for the ugly.

#4. It's all for the children....This is our new slogan! When you donate to the foundation, you will be helping the children. Okay...this might be a stretch, but the children will be healed by me getting my unnecessary required plastic surgery.

Well...with all that on my plate, I don't think there will be any time for the typical crap that no one really does. So...that will have to suffice for 09!

Please share with us your resolution's by adding your comments to this post. Perhaps together, we can learn from one another and improve all of our lives.

P.S.Don't think that you can enjoy this blog for free. The foundation is suffering....Don't hesitate...donate today!

Monday, December 29, 2008

Over the weekend, my parents were in town for the Christmas holiday. Typically, when they are here, we enjoy going to the movies, shopping (especially at Christmas), and just hanging out talking. This weekend however, my father took me to HELL...

So you may be wondering what my version of HELL is. It was a journey to our local Cabela's. Now many of you out there may love Cabela's. This was my first journey there. What a Treat!

My dad was shopping for shotgun shells for his riffle? that he hasn't shot in 30 years, and is having resorted. So, I was game/curiously excited to make the journey when he asked if I wanted to go.

When I arrived, I was not surprised that I was the Best Dressed person there. After all, it is a requirement that you are wearing Wranglers (yes, the ones that fit so tight that your butt is going to explode out the back of them), cowboy boots, and yes...a country western ring tone on your phone.

You might be saying what the crack, a country western ring tone? Yes it is true! I heard at a minimum 10 different phones go off with a song that went something like this....

"I have my pregnant girlfriend who I just shacked up with in the back of my F-150. She has got a gun as big a mine...that's why I love her. We like to go shopping at Cabela's for our butt hugging Wranglers. We just hope that when we bend over, our butts don't rip out of the back!

So...If you have not had the opportunity to go and witness the greatness that is Cabela's, I advise you to stop what your doing, take your camera, and go immediately! Don't forget to take pictures of the craziness and email them to todaysrant@gmail.com!