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8.11.09

By Myself

I deem today as go to the movies by myself day.

I danced my bootie off last night at my friend's wedding reception and today I feel exhausted and soooo introverted. Also, I had to resist with all my might to not write a huge long blog about how suddenly surprised I was to realize, at the wedding, that most of my friends are in serious relationships and I am way lacking in that department. I also realized that I was one of the shyest girls there (not helpful when realizing it would be nice to have a date or a boyfriend or something). One of the reasons I love dancing so much is that you don't have to talk when you dance. I am very timid when it comes to talking. I think I just am more of a written/visual communicator, and probably a physical communicator too. I am a touchy person but I am also very timid and am fickle so I kinda shy away from that sort of interaction with people other than very best friends.

Anyway, today I mostly just want to be alone or, if I had a boyfriend, I'd like to be with that imaginary person. So I decided, I should just go to the movies by myself. And I'm going to go see a romantic movie to further my mood of "introversion/feeling a little left out of the romantic side of life." I have been wanting to see Bright Star for awhile now so here I go, on a date with myself. I'm sure I'll cry a little. Not out of self pity for lacking love, but because I love love and seeing people in love, even actors pretending, makes me happy to the point of tears.

also, I love Ben Whishaw.

UPDATE: I actually ended up taking a 3 hour long nap, sleeping through the showtime I was planning on going to. I woke up briefly and thought, OH get to the movie theatre now! But I was still exhausted and realized I might as well save a little money by not going right now and soak up sleep when I need it. Also, I woke up feeling very very lonely so I thought it might be bad for my mental health to sit through a beautiful movie about love in a groggy moody state like the state I was in when I awoke. $10 saved. And protected myself from becoming more lonely than I already felt. This too shall pass.

....... we all feel lonely sometime. it's one of those inevitable cycles we all have to endure, one way or the other. rest assure, your not the only one, thus, you are not alone. this may sounda' bit odd, i know lol, but with the utmost-absolute sincerity, i'm here for you....... so is our Heavenly Father for that matter. feel free to drop a line sometimes....... take care and have a great week. smile, your alive and well after all.......