Public Address: Southerlyhttp://publicaddress.net/southerly/
enCopyright (c) 2002-2016 Public AddressA Tale of Two Iceblocks: Part 2 (Or A Hopefully Helpful Pointer For Politicians & Policy Makers Who Wish to Reduce Greenhouse Gas Emissions)http://publicaddress.net/southerly/a-tale-of-two-iceblocks-part-2-or-a-hopefully/
Mon, 01 Aug 2016 09:50:00 +1200http://publicaddress.net/southerly/a-tale-of-two-iceblocks-part-2-or-a-hopefully/David HaywoodDavid HaywoodIn Part 1 of this post, I used the example of iceblocks to explain how well-intentioned efforts to reduce New Zealand’s ‘official’ dirty energy* emissions can actually increase the global total of greenhouse gases emitted to the atmosphere. I concluded that an approach to discouraging dirty energy in New Zealand must satisfy three criteria:

Any disincentive must be applied to the embodied dirty energy for goods and services imported into New Zealand.

Any disincentive must also be applied to goods and services within New Zealand.

Any disincentive must be removed from goods and services exported from New Zealand.

In this…

]]>A Tale of Two Iceblocks: Part 1 (Or How Analysis of Greenhouse Gas Emissions in New Zealand Can Cause Us To Do the Wrong Thing)http://publicaddress.net/southerly/a-tale-of-two-iceblocks-part-1-or-how-analysis/
Mon, 25 Jul 2016 06:54:00 +1200http://publicaddress.net/southerly/a-tale-of-two-iceblocks-part-1-or-how-analysis/David HaywoodDavid HaywoodHere are two iceblocks that you can buy at your local dairy:

The iceblock on the left is made by Tip Top in New Zealand. The iceblock on the right is made by Streets in China.Let’s estimate the carbon dioxide emissions from each iceblock. Most of the energy in manufacturing iceblocks from raw materials* of refined sugar and clean water will be down to cooling, so we can calculate the following approximations (assuming cooling of water from room temperature at 20°C to freezer temperature at -20°C):Cooling energy required TipTip Popsicle (76 g) = 35 kJ Streets Paddle-pop (71…

]]>Happy to Help (If I Can)http://publicaddress.net/southerly/happy-to-help-if-i-can/
Mon, 18 Jul 2016 07:52:00 +1200http://publicaddress.net/southerly/happy-to-help-if-i-can/David HaywoodDavid HaywoodA short while ago, a kindly Public Address reader sent me an email saying how much she’d enjoyed an old short story of mine, The Funeral. What with mass murders and governments in crisis she could do with cheering-up, she said. Did I have another short story in a similar vein that could provide further amusement and distraction?Well, you don’t have to ask me twice for a short story. Indeed you don’t even have to ask me once. Just say anything that could be construed as a hint of interest—and I’ll immediately force one upon you.So here’s another…]]>Høstens Vemodhttp://publicaddress.net/southerly/hostens-vemod/
Mon, 20 Jun 2016 05:23:00 +1200http://publicaddress.net/southerly/hostens-vemod/David HaywoodDavid HaywoodA few years ago, I was chatting with another father at a children’s playground in Trondheim, when the subject of høstens vemod came up.“Høstens vemod is a very important Norwegian concept,” he told me. “Perhaps the most important concept in our entire national psychology. Believe me: to understand høstens vemod is to understand Norway.”He watched as my children circumvented the safety barriers of the guaranteed safe Swedish-designed playground and climbed precariously onto the roof of the slide tower.“The literal translation of høstens vemod might be something like ‘autumn sadness’,” he continued. “Put simplistically, this is the sadness…]]>I Fell Downhttp://publicaddress.net/southerly/i-fell-down/
Wed, 08 Jun 2016 05:22:00 +1200http://publicaddress.net/southerly/i-fell-down/David HaywoodDavid HaywoodThe last time that I seriously put pen to paper (digitally speaking) was in September 2014, shortly before my grandfather died.My grandfather had a good death. Until a fortnight or so before the end, he was in remarkably fine health: living in his own home and still driving his car all over Auckland. My aunt, a former chorister, was holding his hand and singing to him as he died. His funeral was on his 98th birthday. As I type I can hear him saying that a funeral isn't really what he wanted as a birthday present.I'd always had…]]>This Week in Parliament: 2 February 2015 - 6 February 2015http://publicaddress.net/southerly/this-week-in-parliament-2-february-2015-6/
Tue, 10 Feb 2015 22:01:00 +1300http://publicaddress.net/southerly/this-week-in-parliament-2-february-2015-6/David HaywoodDavid HaywoodPublic Address presents our weekly round-up of the important events in parliament.KEY’S NEW ‘BLACK OPS’ APPOINTEE SCORES EARLY SUCCESSA week that began with government panic over Jaipur-Literary-Festival-gate has ended with Prime Minister John Key once more firmly in control—thanks to the appointment of a new ‘black ops’ spin doctor.The mysteriously mononymous appointee, known only as ‘Sooty’, has already stamped his mark on this week’s press conferences. The visibly distraught and sleep-deprived John Key of the previous week, stammering that he was “not relaxed or comfortable” about Eleanor Catton’s Jaipur comments, has now been transformed into a confident…]]>This Week in Parliament: 26 January 2015 - 30 January 2015http://publicaddress.net/southerly/this-week-in-parliament-26-january-2015-30/
Fri, 30 Jan 2015 10:26:00 +1300http://publicaddress.net/southerly/this-week-in-parliament-26-january-2015-30/David HaywoodDavid HaywoodPublic Address presents our weekly round-up of the important events in parliament.NICK SMITH SHAVES SCROTUM FOR AFFORDABLE HOUSING Affordable housing is predicted to be a major political issue for 2015, but Minister of Housing Nick Smith insists that he is prepared to go the extra mile to help struggling families.“I was turning over various possibilities in my mind, when it suddenly occurred to me that shaving my testicles might help,” says Dr Smith, who holds a Ph.D. in engineering. “It seemed a bit crazy at first, but it was a lot more sensible than some of my other…]]>This Week in Parliament (in Recess): 12 January 2015 - 16 January 2015http://publicaddress.net/southerly/this-week-in-parliament-in-recess-12-january/
Wed, 21 Jan 2015 22:58:00 +1300http://publicaddress.net/southerly/this-week-in-parliament-in-recess-12-january/David HaywoodDavid HaywoodPublic Address presents our weekly round-up of the important events in parliament.TOTALISATOR UPGRADED WITH VENTURI ORIFICE STEAM TRAP Despite parliament being in recess, there’s no holiday-making for cabinet rising star Nathan Guy. The uncircumcized former farmer and Minister of Racing is spending his summer break conducting the most major upgrade to the New Zealand totalisator since it was moved to the Baring Head Lighthouse in 1989.Goodbye Inverted Bucket“Voters tend to forget just how much hard work is involved in running the country’s totalisator,” says Mr Guy. “On race days, the Minister of Energy and Resources, Simon Bridges,…]]>This Week in Parliament: 14 December 2014 - 19 December 2014http://publicaddress.net/southerly/this-week-in-parliament-14-december-2014/
Tue, 23 Dec 2014 22:17:00 +1300http://publicaddress.net/southerly/this-week-in-parliament-14-december-2014/David HaywoodDavid HaywoodPublic Address presents our weekly round-up of the important events in parliament.PRIME MINISTER EXONERATED IN SATANIC EMAIL “MISUNDERSTANDING”Another political firestorm threatened to erupt this week when a series of hacked emails appeared to show that Prime Minister John Key has been corresponding with satanic groups in Helensville.“I probably am,” says Mr Key, who describes the emails as “completely untrue in every way”.“It’s normal that MPs correspond with their constituents. I have email exchanges with lots of people.”But the prime minister has doused any potential scandal by pointing out that he was holidaying in Hawaii at…]]>This Week in Parliament: 20 October 2014 - 24th October 2014http://publicaddress.net/southerly/this-week-in-parliament-20-october-2014-24th/
Mon, 27 Oct 2014 21:22:00 +1300http://publicaddress.net/southerly/this-week-in-parliament-20-october-2014-24th/David HaywoodDavid HaywoodPublic Address presents our weekly round-up of the important events in parliament.CABINET ULULATES There were scenes of “Islamic-style grief” around the cabinet table this week as Prime Minister John Key announced that New Zealand’s terror threat has been raised from ‘Phenomenally Low’ to ‘Stupendously Unlikely’.Previously imperturbable ministers were reported as “tearing at their beards” and “ululating with fear” on hearing the news that a full-scale ISIS invasion of New Zealand is now a step closer. It is understood that justice minister Amy Adams had to be restrained from amputating one of her own fingers.Prime Minister Key says…]]>