Men won’t admit it, but the art of styling one’s hair is therapeutic. It’s a space of zen where masculinity and grace come together in a sensual mesh. MDJ wishes he could do it, but he hasn’t got hair on his head. With one gloriously lush exception, of course. And as usual, he goes too far.

Just because men are expected to be manly, macho, and rugged doesn’t mean they have to be filthy as well. But in the absence of truly manly skincare products like bacon-flavored lip balm and scotch-scented moisturizer, here’s MDJ’s view on the skincare basics every dude should have.