Tag Archives: superman

I have completely retooled my Patreon rewards and goals!Become a Patron now and you can help me release more eBooks of my comics and sketches, bonus monthly Patron-Only comics, an album of cover songs, a LOST EPISODE OF THE HIJINKS ENSUE PODCAST, and MORE! Read the details HERE or just check out my Patreon HERE.

Here’s another of my recolored/rewritten FANEURYSM comics. You can see the original here. If you can spot all the differences, you win a punched out and devoured heart! Whose heart? Maybe yours!Are you a whale?! How did you get Internet in the ocean?! Oh, you bit into an intercontinental, underwater data cable? And now you can download the entire Internet straight into your whale brain? And even though you get decent download speeds depending on the tides, the upload is kind of slow? That’s a bummer! Still, pretty good for a whale, right?

Thanks for coming out to see me in Denver last weekend (even though you were actually there to see Cyanide & Happiness). Here are some of the hundreds of sketches we drew for various enthusiastic Denverites. These are probably THE ONLY sketches from the entire weekend that didn’t involve graphic nudity, intense and disturbing sexual imagery, horrific violence and just a ton of boners and ass blood. It was that kind of weekend.

Based on the casting of Jason “PecsPecsPecsPecs” Momoa, I am guessing DC is going for a less kind, less gentle Aquaman. No better way to shut up the Aqua-haters than to show us a badass Aquaman, I suppose. Of course the confirmation of Aquaman’s addition to Batman V. Superman: The Case Of The Crumpled Cape means the movie (which is NOT a Justice League movie?) will feature Supes, Batman, Wonder Woman, Cyborg AND Aquaman. I’m guessing everyone except for B-Word and S-Hole show up right at the end, wink at the camera and fly straight into the sun. Seriously though, I am not 100% on board with this group-movie before solo movie Justice League situation. It seems super-flawed from a superhero super-storytelling perspective. I’m curious how they are going to integrate an older, grizzled Batman into a world that seemed to be totally flabbergasted by the appearance of Superman in Man Of Steel: Metropolis Gets 9/11’d X 100.

I also just uploaded a new iBook/PDF comic collection for all $5+ Patrons.

HijiNKS ENSUE: I Could Really Go For A Martwinky Right About Now(An iBook Collection Of HijiNKS ENSUE Comics from 2009)EXTRAS: Contains an intro I wrote while on an airplane and while insane with sleep deprivation. I can not promise you that it makes sense at all. Also contains a whole section of freelance projects (many never before seen) that were commissioned by you, the Fancy Bastards.

The BIGGEST MERCH SALE I HAVE EVER DONE OR PROBABLY EVER WILL DO is happening RIGHT NOW in the HE STORE and ends on 9/21/13!!!$10 Books! $9 Shirts! INSANITY! SAVINGS INSAAAAANITYYYYYY!!!

The feedback and support for the new direction of the comics has been overwhelmingly positive. Thank you, Fancy Bastards, for letting me know I’ve made the right choice. I wrestled with this decision for months, but (coincidentally enough) it gave me the same “You really should do this, you know you want to, you know it’s the right time,” feeling that I got both when I decided to propose to my wife and tell her I wanted to talk about having children. When it’s right, it’s right.

My daughter comes up with these hyper-specific, ultra-complicated rules for games and playtime events and spits them out like they’re totally common sense based, and everyone should probably already know them because… see the earlier thing about common sense. Unfortunately my dad brain has a hard time with, “and if any two ponies are in the pony jail at the same time, then one person has to run into the kitchen and make the other person a snack, but only if the first pony is a pegasus…” etc, etc. She often starts these games with either only the title or the first couple of rules in mind, and ABSOLUTELY no idea what is supposed to happen after, say, the first 30 seconds. I should just throw my hands up at the beginning and walk directly into pony jail.

She didn’t have such a convoluted game structure per se but my niece used to be heavily into the whole “step on a crack, break your mother’s back” rhyme and would skip and jump around the street avoiding the cracks always grabbing your arm while doing that causing your arm to yank of the socket, twisting your ankle, and causing you to fall face first onto her twin brother. If you didn’t act like you were jumpign with her you would get yelled at and then have to do something that would distract her until she started the game again.

As a kid, Calvin & Hobbes was a HUGE influence on my young, sponge-like brain. Every Saturday or Sunday, my brother & I and whichever friends/neighbors available would try our hand at Calvinball. The only rule: make up your own rules. We used the books as guides on how to play, and bounce our own rules off those, but I can’t recall how many times I won.

5 year old step daughter, playing in the conservatory, ask her what she is playing, says ‘bare club, thats where all the barbies go, where they can take their clothes off if they want, small boobies, large boobies, all are welcome’. Me and the wife were laughing for a good five minutes after that

I understand where Ashamed is coming from, I think if I didn’t have a child I might even agree. But, ever since I had the sprog I find myself more drawn to parenting jokes. I think what humor we enjoy us based on where we are in life. I for one was getting bored of one-off geek jokes and am super excited that one of my favorite webcomics is growing and developing with me, rather than staying a stagnant reminder of what life was before the all consuming child.

if the worst that happens is you got 6 years of free entertainment on the subject matter than you liked, then you are certainly no worse for the ware. however, these first few strips are there to establish the new elements of the universe. it isn’t going to be parenting stuff all the time, just like it wasnt Doctor Who stuff all the time before. The bottom line is Im going to do what Ive always done, which is make the comics that I want to make. You are welcomed to come along for the ride at no cost, and you are welcomed to get off at any stop you like.

My son just tries to boss everyone around. He’s more into creating strange, complicated backstories to explain things. Lately he’s been running around telling everyone we see that our cat is lost (we have not had a cat his entire life). People get all sympathetic, look at me and ask if there’s anything they can do to help. So I’d have to explain we don’t have one. But now he’s eliminated that need, because he has figured out the rest of it.He says that we were all leaving to take him to school one day, and he was the last person out of the house. But he forgot to close the door after him, and the cat got out, and it ran straight to the volcano, and fell in. Normally, this wouldn’t be a problem, as our cat is SuperCat, but in addition to forgetting to close the door behind him, he *also* forgot to put the cape on the cat. No cape, no powers. So our cat fell into the hot lava and died.

Most people just stare at him, and then look at me like “what the hell you teaching this kid?”

When my wife was a small child, she apparently straight up convinced the babysitter that she had a brother and a sister. But that her mother didn’t trust the sitter with the other children. The sitter confronted her mother about it. Hilarious!

Not gonna lie, I’ve been giggling like a four-year old for the last few days. But good on you for taking the plunge. I’ve been noticing similar changes in focus in a number of the long-running comics I follow. When you’ve been at it for a while you have to change what you’re doing; to do otherwise is to refuse to grow. But I think it’s brave to risk a change like this. A lot of people are afraid to do it, and have the Fonz jump his motorcycle over a shark tank instead.

Yeah, this is really familiar. My 4 1/2 year old is really into dinosaurs, and BBC documentaries about dinosaurs, and he likes to enact dinosaur-documentary-type scenes (which he narrates. In Kenneth Branagh’s voice. we live in the USA so the English accent is extra hilarious.) and frequently asks us to play with him, but if we don’t do exactly what the script in his head says he gets angry and accuses us of messing with him “on purpose” (as opposed to accidentally messing with him?). He also sings/hums background music and has different music for feeding scenes, chasing scenes, attack scenes, etc and will yell at us if we don’t pick up on his music cues.

One of the twins picked up a 5 in one wooden board game set with chess, checkers, etc. We would get out ALL of the pieces and make stuff up as we would take turns moving the characters around, usually by the throw of the dice. Pure fun that is!

My niece is five and basically arranges the rules of any game – made-up or commercially available – around the one central, all-encompassing, grand master rule: she wins. One time, we were playing a match game with penguins and she decided that she gets extra turns every time. She couldn’t explain WHY, but it had to be so. It frustrates my husband, a devout board game geek, to no end. Every once in a while, he’ll either make her play the official rules or start making up his own to even the playing field. Neither choice ends well.

I don’t know if this counts as convoluted, but I used to put couch cushions at the bottom of the basement stairs (which were just concrete) and see how far up I could jump. I think I was about five then. The fact that I never broke any bones growing up is a goddamn miracle.

while babysitting my brother’s 6 year old, he had me playing “Zombies vs. Ninjas”. We, as the Ninjas, had to fight invisible Zombies. He waved vaguely at one part of the yard “this is my base”. at another part of the yard “this is your base”. So I asked him ” where is the Zombies base?” “the Zombies don’t have any base.” he replied. “then how do they drop the beat?” I asked. He looks at and with a deadpan voice said “just play the game.”

My cousin and I used to play a variation of Don’t Touch the Lava (which I’m surprised no one has mentioned yet) called “Don’t Touch the Ground or You’re a Green Pig”Don’t ask me why or how we decided you would turn into moldy swine, nor why it was a bad thing because I don’t remember. Best bet is Dr. Seuss had something to do with it.

“Princess Mermaid” any set of action figures doll or models work as long as my daughter Emmerson has An Ariel Doll. It normally consists of other peoples dolls/figures complementing her doll’s hair, dress, shoes, crown, and then saving her from a see designated sea witch doll. I’ve tried inviting the sea witch to tea or to make friends in other ways but Emmerson is set on no deaviating from the kidnapping plot line for now

OH COME ON! That’s no fun! I thought Walter White would have made a great Lex Luthor. Can he at least be Darkseid? He could cook up the Anti-Life Equation in an old RV in Space. Hell, New Mexico is practically Apokolips already. Just open fire pits and lava geysers everywhere.

Comments (15)

ooh how about a Jeff Bridges as Lex Luthor. anyone? come on it works both ways. we could get a serious “Obidiah Stainesk” Luthor if the movie is good. or if the movie blows (and it’s going to) we could have a “The Dude” Luthor. either way it has to work. right?