I am a medical student
currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center.
Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little
daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not
harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the
hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to
mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill
the ants.
I told her that she better bring her daughter in to the emergency room
right away.

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a
life raft from one of the 747's. They were successful in getting it out of
the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river,
they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them. It turned out that
the chopper was homing in on the emergency locate! r beacon that activated
when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.

A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and
wrote this, 'Put all your muny in this bag.' While standing in line, waiting
to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him
write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's
window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells
Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the
Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that
he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not
accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit
slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or
go back to Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left.
He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of
America.

A
guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the
cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber
saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told
the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said,
'Because I don't believe you are over 21.' The robber said he was, but the
clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him. At this
point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the
clerk.
The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she
put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot.
The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the
robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

I live in a semi-rural
area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township
administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on
our road.
The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! - I don't
think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore