November 22, 2009

The Why Behind the Wish

Over the last few weeks, many of you have heard me express my hope that Baby G will be arriving early. Looking back now, I have received enough uncertain looks and hesitant responses, as well as outright warnings about premature babies and wishing this time away that I feel a pressing need to explain myself.

First of all, I would never wish for my son to be born before he is ready. Regardless of how I am feeling, it is most important to me that he is born healthy.

I also want to make it clear that I am not wishing away the time that Jonathan and I have left just the two of us. I truly value all of the time that we have and I recognize that this is a unique time in our lives that we will never experience again. We are making the most of the time that we have and are enjoying life as a married couple.

My hope of having Baby G before December 30 is twofold. Having a greater amount of time between his birthday and Christmas would make each celebration unique and exciting, especially as a child. While it is certainly possible to make a memorable childhood birthday during the Christmas season, there is something to be said for enjoying two separate celebrations. As someone whose birthday falls within a month of Christmas, I can attest to the importance of looking forward to two celebrations, especially as a young child.

I am also hoping to give birth to Baby G before December 30 for a selfish reason- pain. While pregnancy has various moments of discomfort, the last few weeks have been particularly difficult. I have reached the point where I am in almost constant pain of some sort. If it's not foot pain, it's back pain; if it's not back pain, it's pelvic pain. Small tasks that I used to take for granted, such as rolling over in bed at night, leave me whimpering in pain.

I'm not trying to complain and I truly believe that holding my son in my arms will make all of the discomforts and pains worthwhile. While I know that people are well-intentioned when they tell me not to wish away this time or not to hope that my baby boy will be delivered early, there are times when I want to list off all of the reasons why I want him in my arms the moment he is ready instead of waiting weeks upon weeks for his arrival.

I honestly don't begrudge anyone who tells me to be patient and wait until Baby G's due date, but it is important to me that people understand that I am not wishing for a premature baby or wishing away the precious time Jonathan and I have as a couple.

4 comments:

Hi - I just wanted to introduce myself and say that I commiserate with you 100%! We are due Dec 26th and I found your blog a few weeks ago. I love following someone going through the same things we are right now. I also am hoping for our baby as soon as possible. And everything you said today...ditto. I jokingly say that I need to have our baby before Jan 1 for the tax dedcution this year. Then I quickly tell people to mark that down as my first "bad mommy moment". I had a GREAT pregnancy up until this past week, but now it is misery. I think I've deserved this time to complain and I honestly never knew it woudl be this uncomfortable at the end and that I'd have these....problems - ankles, rear end, etc. Best wishes to you and your husband. May our babies be born strong, healthy, and with our minimal discomfort these past few weeks.

As far as the pain, take a nice warm bath (not too warm!) before bed. I lived in the bathtub the last few weeks before Sophia was born and this really helped with the pain. Especially, the pelvic pain.

Hello. My name is Alyssa and I'm married to a sweet man named Jonathan. We're building a life together with our wee ones in our farmhouse nestled in the heart of the suburbs. Through photos and words, I chronicle our lives as a family of six as we strive to get the most out of each day.