Being More Than Being Useful

I work hard at what I do, and I bet you do too. So maybe you need the same reminder I do: while my work is important, it is not a measure of my value or worth. Who we "be" is far more important than what we do or how well we do it. That's why we're called human beings, not human doings!

We pay a terrible price if we value our doing over our being. When we have to stop "doing" — e.g., because of job loss, illness, accident, or the diminishments that can come with age — we lose our sense of worthiness.

"Camas Lillies" reminds me to value "being" more than I value "being useful" — so that even when I'm forced to lay down my work, I can retain my sense of personal worth. Put simply and plainly, I can still love myself. That's a gift many people need. If I can't give it to myself, how can I possibly give it to others?

I take my work seriously, and I'm sure you do, too. But at age 75, I'm trying to learn (or re-learn) that, in the end, what matters most is not my ability to "produce" but my ability to love...

Camas Liliesby Lynn Ungar

Consider the lilies of the field,the blue banks of camas openinginto acres of sky along the road.Would the longing to lie downand be washed by that beautyabate if you knew their usefulness,how the native ground their bulbsfor flour, how the settlers' hogsuprooted them, grunting in gleefuloblivion as the flowers fell?

And you—what of your rushedand useful life? Imagine setting it all down—papers, plans, appointments, everything—leaving only a note: "Goneto the fields to be lovely. Be backwhen I'm through blooming."

Even now, unneeded and uneaten,the camas lilies gaze out above the grassfrom their tender blue eyes.Even in sleep your life will shine.Make no mistake. Of courseyour work will always matter.Yet Solomon in all his glorywas not arrayed like one of these.

As I grow older, I am starting to reflect on my accomplishments in my life. They have been many, but so many times, I gave up on what was probably more important than the betterment of my career. Yes, I am very well educated, accomplished a lot of my goals, but in doing so scarficed the importance of beauty, my art ability and a lot of times my family. Now that I see this, I have finally stopped and smelled the roses, which were the most important to me all alone. I think now, I will walk along my lake shore and also feel beautiful again.

As I have grown older i have reflected on my life. I am very well educated and have accomplished some goals that I have set for myself in the past. In doing so, I ended up sacrificing a lot of the things that I truly loved, that were right in front of me all of the time. I have decided to give myself a second chance at those things that really counted all along. I have slowed down, and am starting to walk along my peaceful side. I can finally see the things that are most important in my life. I am going to walk along the shore and also feel more beautiful than ever, and see life not in Rose colored glasses, by through what is clear and very dear to me.

"If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole world would change." People say now that these words did not come from the Buddha. But to my mind they echo Parker Palmer's beautiful reflection. Many thanks for this welcome posting.

I have always been trying to figure out just what was going on--so I could be a part of it. I was properly taught that this was an exciting place to be--a gift to be here--and that it was very important what you do with your life. I always felt there was so much more going on than I could comprehend. The conundrum is that, I tend to think now that I got just as far ahead as I ever could have, whatever I had done, just by staying alive! (--given all the things that have been doing, again, a big confusion for one who believes in individual effort, individual effort.)

What a wonderful reminder. I am a clinical psychologist, and I consider my work go consist of "loving in a skillful way," and how fortunate I feel to have been called to do this work rather than some other work. This, nevertheless involves doing. I make so little time in my life to just be. Thank you for the reminder of how important this is.Cynthia

I've worked with teachers circling around this wonderful poem many times. It always opens up such wonderful reflections and sharing. A couple of years ago, part of my own reflective processing of the poem resulted in a song, Lovely Now. You can view a live studio performance of the song on YouTube at this link:

Below are the lyrics...and thanks for the inspiration, Lynn!

Lovely Now

I worked as hard as anyone could doI worked for them, I even worked for you,Am I lovely now, tell me, am I lovely now?

I felt as useful as any tool,Just fold me up next to the carpenter’s ruleAm I lovely now, tell me, am I lovely now?

Whose field is this?Whose sunshine and whose rain?Whose plot is this?Whose plow and whose pain?Oh, would you cut me now?Is that the marketable plan?Even the mowerSometimes lets the lilly stand.

Thank you for sharing this beautiful poem.I take much joy in the beauty of nature thatsurrounds me and this reinforces the importanceof "just being" to energize your zest for life.Life lived simply is truly an awakening.

A note for Lynn Ungar: I don't have many meditation manuals left anymore. They have drifted this way or that over time. But I am careful to keep your Blessing the Bread, the Clark Dewey Wells manual, The Strangeness of This Business, Vanessa Southern's, Sources of Our Faith-the compilation, and Elizabeth Tarbox's. Your meditation manual is a good gift.