The Talmudic Formula for Success

I made my fortune but didn’t feel successful. What was missing?

After practicing corporate and securities law for a couple of years at one of the largest law firms in the world, I decided to pursue my entrepreneurial passions and start a travel business. I worked hard and had a passion to succeed. My dream was to have enough annual profits to sell the company and have enough funds from the sale to retire and do whatever I wanted to do for the rest of my life. Buy a nice condo, fancy sports car, travel and more. When we exceeded that annual profit goal, I sold the company and moved back to Florida where I grew up to enjoy life. I thought I reached a level of great success, but six months later I was so bored. I didn’t feel successful. I felt a lot was missing.

I started looking for answers. I remembered learning from my paternal grandfather, Juda Diener, that the best place to search for answers to life’s tough questions is the Talmud. I watched him study Talmud every day. As a witness of the Holocaust, he believed the way to win the war against those determined to destroy the Jewish people is to educate our people on our great traditions and sacred texts. Only when we understand and appreciate our great heritage and resources will we fight to preserve them. He gave away most of his fortune to starting Jewish Day schools. He believed that the Talmud was the backbone of Judaism and that if he could get thousands of people studying Talmud regularly it would make them much more committed to preserving Judaism.

Webster’s dictionary defines success as the fact of getting or achieving wealth, respect, or fame. What was Judaism’s definition for success?

Along with Rabbi Pinchas Teitz, one of the top leaders and scholars at the time, they came up with the brilliant idea back in the fifties of broadcasting a page of Talmud every week on New York radio. There was no Internet then; the major place people went for news was the radio. This program was so successful that is lasted for 36 years. I later spent several years in Jewish Day School studying Talmud and was always impressed at the deep level of wisdom it contained. I knew the Talmud was the right place to figure out what I was missing.

Did I really achieve success? Webster’s dictionary defines success as the fact of getting or achieving wealth, respect, or fame. What was Judaism’s definition for success?

The Talmudic Formula

Judaism’s formula for success in life can be found in the tractate of Shabbat, 31a. It is a rabbinical discussion of the questions one is asked at the end of one’s days in the heavenly court. The scholars discuss the ultimate questions asked as a way of explaining what is most important in life and to determine how one can measure the success of one’s life.

1. Were you honest in your business dealings?

The first question we are asked is whether or not we were honest in business. Judaism places an emphasis on one’s character and teaches that the most important thing one can do in his life is be honest, especially when the temptation is to do the opposite. It is not achieving wealth as Webster’s dictionary defines success, but how that wealth was obtained that defines success. If it was obtained dishonestly, it is meaningless. “Better is a poor man who walks in his integrity than a rich man who is crooked in his ways” (Proverbs 28:6). Judaism measures success by asking did we keep our promises, have personal integrity and put honesty above profit? When tempted with profitable but ethically questionable deals, I always think about this first question and pass on the deal.

2. Did you set aside regular time to study?

Without regular study, we lose focus and often go down the wrong path. With regular study, we can continue to improve, utilize the brain and talents our Creator has given us to the fullest. We need to constantly evaluate where we are in life and strive to improve. Without setting a regular time, we probably won’t do it – hence the question is whether we set up “regular” time to study. This means we made it a priority. Did you strive to improve or are you just status quo? Did you implement the things you learned?

After studying this piece of Talmud, I started devoting one hour every week to study. I closed my door and studied for a hour with either a rabbi or study group. I since expanded this to almost daily study with my kids. I’m amazed how much more fulfilled I am after an hour of study. But we need to make it a priority and do it regularly, regardless of how busy we are.

3. Did you build a family and support the education of the next generation?

Success is not just what we have done personally, but what we have done to pass on Jewish values and wisdom to the next generation. Did you have children and raise them to continue the mission of improving the world around us? Whether you had your own children or not, did you make sure your community has the resources to provide a Jewish education for the children in your community?

I decided it was time to get serious about finding a mate and raising a family. I changed my whole approach towards dating and stopped wasting time dating anyone that didn’t share my values. I looked for a spouse that wanted a large family, a Jewish home, understood the importance of a Jewish education and wanted to be involved in the community. I looked for a spouse that had the qualities I wanted to pass on to my children: honesty, integrity, warmth, empathy, humility, humor, a concern for others and more. I was very fortunate to find a spouse that has these qualities. We’re both heavily involved in Jewish education, the Jewish community and philanthropy, and have been having fun together since our first date over 21 years ago.

4. Did you do your part to improve the world around you to lead to the ultimate redemption – Tikun Olam?

When you look back at your life, what did you contribute to make the world around you better? Success is not just achieving wealth but how we used that wealth. Did we use it only for ourselves or did we use it to help others and improve our community? I try to take this this seriously. I realized my pursuit and accumulation of wealth was not in and of itself success. Something was missing. When we have wealth, we become a steward of that wealth. It is just as difficult to find the right places to give our wealth as it is to earn the wealth. But success only comes from the complete package. Earning it without spending it right is not success. Earning it and working hard to find the best use of that wealth is how we become successful.

I decided to make sure I did something every day to improve our world. I set up a foundation and regularly donated a portion of my income. I became involved in the community. I found the organizations I believed were making the biggest impact on improving our local Jewish community, the State of Israel, keeping the U.S. behind Israel, educating our children, helping children with special needs and providing for the needy. I actively volunteered my time to help make organizations more efficient with the business skills I had. I encouraged and recruited others to give and become active.

These questions have become my guiding light. Why not ask yourself these questions now and make sure you have the right answers when you get to heavenly court?

Featured at Aish.com:

About the Author

Bob Diener is founder of Hotels.com and Getaroom.com. He practiced law with Gibson Dunn & Crutcher, managed a hedge fund, and regularly lectures at the University of Florida and Cornell Law School. He is also the former editor of the Cornell Law Review and is on KGO radio every Sunday morning.

The opinions expressed in the comment section are the personal views of the commenters. Comments are moderated, so please keep it civil.

Visitor Comments: 13

(12)
Aryeh Markman,
March 21, 2014 7:11 PM

Great for Shabbos discussion

Bob, this is a great discussion to have at a Shabbos table, or Thanksgiving or any family or social gathering. Thanks for the insights.

(11)
Sientje Seinen,
March 21, 2014 6:26 AM

proverbs

"The Lord rewards those who are kind to the poor." hint, hint, just kidding was a great article G-d bless

(10)
Russ D.,
March 20, 2014 11:53 PM

Not sure how I am doing.

Honest?Although I know how to persuade my "customers" to choices that advantage me,and others do so,cannot bring myself to do this.If I can't make enough working honestly,I'll just work more.(Not shomer Shabbat-really.But have pikuach hanefesh excuse occasionally).Study?-plug away at Hebrew.Not real connected at moment with a shul however.Did Meah.Family?Certainly sought out a Jewish spouse,and more committed than spouse.Sent daughter to YIVO,to J-lem for two years.Family to Israel twice.spouse three times.(myself eight).Tikun Olam?JNF,CJP,Sar-el,Arava bike ride in 2004l and 2009.personal tikun olam-Prii,,Volt,32 pv panels.Is this enough?perhaps not.I just keep plugging away.doing what I can.

(9)
Mary,
March 20, 2014 11:35 PM

Inspiring

I found the article extremely inspiring.

(8)
Eggie Gibson,
March 20, 2014 11:24 PM

i am so blessed

thankyou Bob, it really inspire me and change my though about success all around.

(7)
Anonymous,
March 20, 2014 10:54 PM

Very Fortunate

The author achieved great success; both in his financial personal life and in his ability to give back to the Jewish community. Not all of us have that opportunity. Many of us still struggle. Were I able to do the same, I know that I would, as I come from a long line of philanthropists. Using the Talmud to teach us was a stroke of genius. Thank you for your very wise words.

(6)
Antonio Perez,
March 20, 2014 9:36 PM

The Formula for Success

Thank you. I especially agree with number 4. There are so many in Israel, as well as in the country where we live, who we can help and ought to help. When you see the appreciation of someone you've helped, it's worth more than any amount of money. The Talmud is a commentary on the Torah. When we read, study and put the Torah's mizvot and principles into practice, there are rich rewards in this life and that to come. G-d is truly wise and He invites us to share in that wisdom and benefit others as well.

(5)
moshe kaplan, m.d.,
March 20, 2014 7:45 PM

Jewish success

Another Jewish definition of success is to be a "mensch"- see www.beamensch.com and "Be a Mensch-Why Good Character is the Key to a Life of Health, Happiness, Wealth and Love"

(4)
Linda Rivera,
March 20, 2014 4:35 PM

Can someone help me with this!

Sometimes on sites, rabid Jew-haters claim the Talmud says horrible things. I don't know ANYTHING about the Talmud! I only know the Bible! Can someone please explain how I can respond to these wicked comments? Thank you!

yechiel aaron,
March 21, 2014 12:12 AM

please explain

Can you please elaborate on what problems you are coming across?

(3)
manuel,
March 19, 2014 6:25 PM

Regarding webster dictionary definition of success

F1 driver Michael Schumacher achieved the webster dictionary definition of success and is literally in coma on the brink of death. His sky accident impacted my views ahout what is important in life

(2)
Shraga,
March 18, 2014 2:59 PM

Lucky man!

The author is fortunate to have enjoyed not only material success, but also the wisdom to manage it properly as a tool for attaining the greater good in life.

(1)
Anonymous,
March 17, 2014 3:51 PM

Challenges to focusing on the 4 questions

I liked how you explained the questions and how we can apply them in our lives. You should realize that you are one of few lucky ones that can devote their time to the above 4 questions, and not be distracted by the crazy hours most of us have to devote to working at our jobs just to put a roof over our family's heads. Although I realize that financial success has its own challenges, which looks like you have nicely defeated. kol hakavod.

I've been striving to get more into spirituality. But it seems that every time I make some progress, I find myself slipping right back to where I started. I'm getting discouraged and feel like a failure. Can you help?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Spiritual slumps are a natural part of spiritual growth. There is a cycle that people go through when at times they feel closer to God and at times more distant. In the words of the Kabbalists, it is "two steps forward and one step back." So although you feel you are slipping, know that this is a natural process. The main thing is to look at your overall progress (over months or years) and be able to see how far you've come!

This is actually God's ingenious way of motivating us further. The sages compare this to teaching a baby how to walk. When the parent is holding on, the baby shrieks with delight and is under the illusion that he knows how to walk. Yet suddenly, when the parent lets go, the child panics, wobbles and may even fall.

At such times when we feel spiritually "down," that is often because God is letting go, giving us the great gift of independence. In some ways, these are the times when we can actually grow the most. For if we can move ourselves just a little bit forward, we truly acquire a level of sanctity that is ours forever.

Here is a practical tool to help pull you out of the doldrums. The Sefer HaChinuch speaks about a great principle in spiritual growth: "The external awakens the internal." This means that although we may not experience immediate feelings of closeness to God, eventually, by continuing to conduct ourselves in such a manner, this physical behavior will have an impact on our spiritual selves and will help us succeed. (A similar idea is discussed by psychologists who say: "Smile and you will feel happy.")

That is the power of Torah commandments. Even if we may not feel like giving charity or praying at this particular moment, by having a "mitzvah" obligation to do so, we are in a framework to become inspired. At that point we can infuse that act of charity or prayer with all the meaning and lift it can provide. But if we'd wait until being inspired, we might be waiting a very long time.

May the Almighty bless you with the clarity to see your progress, and may you do so with joy.

In 1940, a boatload 1,600 Jewish immigrants fleeing Hitler's ovens was denied entry into the port of Haifa; the British deported them to the island of Mauritius. At the time, the British had acceded to Arab demands and restricted Jewish immigration into Palestine. The urgent plight of European Jewry generated an "illegal" immigration movement, but the British were vigilant in denying entry. Some ships, such as the Struma, sunk and their hundreds of passengers killed.

If you seize too much, you are left with nothing. If you take less, you may retain it (Rosh Hashanah 4b).

Sometimes our appetites are insatiable; more accurately, we act as though they were insatiable. The Midrash states that a person may never be satisfied. "If he has one hundred, he wants two hundred. If he gets two hundred, he wants four hundred" (Koheles Rabbah 1:34). How often have we seen people whose insatiable desire for material wealth resulted in their losing everything, much like the gambler whose constant urge to win results in total loss.

People's bodies are finite, and their actual needs are limited. The endless pursuit for more wealth than they can use is nothing more than an elusive belief that they can live forever (Psalms 49:10).

The one part of us which is indeed infinite is our neshamah (soul), which, being of Divine origin, can crave and achieve infinity and eternity, and such craving is characteristic of spiritual growth.

How strange that we tend to give the body much more than it can possibly handle, and the neshamah so much less than it needs!