Do you like boxing? I do. Do you like boxing pictures? I
generally don’t. There’ve been plenty of boxing pictures—I’ve
read that it’s the most popular sport in movies. But with
the exceptions of Golden Boy, The Harder They Fall,
and Raging Bull, most boxing pictures just don’t punch
their weight. Sadly, Undisputed does nothing to change
that long, inglorious tradition.

The story opens inside California’s Sweetwater Prison, where
undefeated heavyweight Monroe Hutchen ( Snipes) is
facing yet another competitor in the ring. Silent and focused,
Hutchen dispatches his opponent and remains the undefeated
champ of the prison boxing world. Taking a plotline torn from
yesterday’s headlines, Undisputed then introduces
us to “Iceman” Chambers (a very meaty Rhames), heavyweight
champ who’s now heading to prison on a Tyson-esque
rape conviction. Gosh, don’t you just wonder what’s going
to happen next?

The Iceman is one cocky concoction, strutting into the big
house like he’s King Shit, which he is. He keeps inmates from
starting shit by starting shit first and ending it with his
fists. (Iceman makes me think of the guy in Neal Stephenson’s
Snow Crash who had “poor impulse control” tattoed
on his forehead.) Throw in Mendy Rivstein ( Falk),
a wizened mobster who’s the profane Yoda of the joint, and
who’s also something of a boxing historian and naturally all
this big-gate talk has to lead to a bout.

There’s boxing at the beginning and boxing at the end, but
not a lot of boxing in between. So how is this boxing? I thought
it was pretty laughable. Watch some bantamweights or featherweights;
see how they seem to zip around the ring? Heavyweights, on
the other hand, tend to be known more for their sheer slugging
than their peppiness. The heavies in Undisputed danced
and spun like it wasn’t real work to move 190+ pounds around
for several rounds. Plus, each punch that connected produced
a resounding smack that practically echoed. I read recently
that some scientists had confirmed what movie soundpersons
have claimed for years—that exaggerated sound effects make
things seem more realistic to audiences. Undisputed’s
sound folks took this and ran with it.

On the plus side, it is never a bad day when you can regard
Mr. Snipes’ physique, and this movie required many scenes
that dwelt lovingly on his lean, muscled frame. Plus, we get
an all-too-brief shower scene that exposes the Iceman’s musculature.
So there are nice male bodies to contemplate, though when
you see them side by side, it’s hard not to imagine the taller,
beefier Ving pulling the limbs off of Wesley without breaking
a sweat. To their credit, the filmmakers do manage to create
some suspense as to who will win the climactic fight.

Unfortunately, the journey to that point may leave you eyeing
the exits. Snipes isn’t given much to do in this picture except
look Zen and buff, which he does damn well but it’s not exactly
a performance now is it? Rhames, on the other hand, performs
up a storm, making the best of dreadful dialogue like “I’m
not an athlete, I’m a gladiator.” The arrogant posture he
lends to the Iceman was effective especially considered against
footage of the rape victim giving talk-show interviews. “Did
he or didn’t he?” I wondered. Plus, and maybe this is a generational
thing, but I found it pretty depressing that the setting that
lent itself to employing so many actors of color was a prison.
Yeah, yeah, brothers are in prisons, I know that. In fact,
I just read Joseph Hallinan’s Going Up The River:
Travels In A Prison Nation (and I recommend it highly),
which discusses the disproportionate representation of people
of color in prisons, but still… Work is this scarce for black
actors? I’m reminded of Hollywood Shuffle, where
Robert Townsend considers demeaning, toss-away roles and
concludes: “There’s work at the post office.”

At any rate, a whole bunch of lame goings-on lead up to
the main event. The boxers don their trunks and get their
mean I-eat-babies-for-breakfast looks on. There’s Mob money
on the outcome, so we get the delicious scene of wiseguys
arriving, via police escort!, to witness the fight. I also
found it pretty amusing to hear the incarcerated sing about
“the la-and of the free, and the home… of the… brave” right
before the fight began, but that’s just me. And then the bell
rings and the fight begins, and it’s scant reward for what
you’ve had to sit through to get to this point.