Like the others have already said, do what you feel able. One of my very close friends had a baby girl a month before we had Zach. I was able to hold her but, I really didn't feel much, just very empty, I think I was still in such shock. Seven months later when my nephew was born though, forget it, it was HARD. I cried and cried. By the time I left their house I was exhausted and must not have gotten out of bed for days.

Hang in there and hold the baby when you think you can. And, don't worry about your reaction. Your best friend will surely understand and you do whatever you need to do.

This is such a hard thing. I felt sick anytime I even saw a baby for a long time after Chloe died. I think that if you want to try you should and don't put any expectation on yourself as to what it will be like. Let whatever is going to happen happen. It sounds like your friend won't be upset in however you react.

I didn't hold a baby until my sister had her daughter - that was 5 weeks before my Sam was born...

I think this an ideal situation for you to experience holding a baby for the first time since your tragedy. Your friend will most likely be very understanding and supportive if you can't hold her baby for very long, or if you change your mind at the last minute, or break down emotionally. Don't stress about how you will react, just let it come naturally and don't hold back for her sake ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â‚¬Å“ if she's your best friend, she will understand completely.

Melissa
Mom of Ashley Ann, born at 25 weeks on April 17 due to severe preeclampsia.

ShaRonda--the first time I held a newborn was almost 5 months after Emma died and I gried my eyes out the whole time. It's something that you will know when you are ready for...if you aren't I am sure your friend will understand. Sending you huge HUGSSSS!

ShaRhonda,
I held my new born nephew a few weeks after I lost my son. Unlike many here, I thought it would be a nice experience to hold a baby boy without any wire or tubes. When I did hold him, I felt very little. It was nothing like holding my own son. I held him for a few minutes and then felt like I had to put him down. I can see and hold babies but I still haven't made myself go to a baby shower. For me that just seems to overwhelming. I hope it goes well for you. It's a hard transition, but one you will eventually make. All the women here have given great advice. I wish you the best!

You have to do what feels right for you at the time. I hadnt held a baby since Ellie died, and Im dreading when my cousin's baby is born in November as that will be the 1st new baby I will be that close to. I did have a cuddle last week with a little boy who was a day younger than Ellie and who was in NICU with her. I cannot lie, it was very very hard, thinking that he had made it and this was how Ellie would have been. Having said that I was delighted that he was ok, and it felt right at the time. I hadnt seen his mum since Ellie died, but she knew how I was feeling because Joshua's twin had died at birth.
Anybody who is close to you and knows what you have been through will not mind at all if you get upset etc.

ShaRonda, you need to do what you feel up to at that time. If you feel as if you want to try to hold the baby then try. Just let your friend know that you might want to give the baby back very quickly. Be honset with her and most important to yourself!!!... For me, holding on of the little boys at church was great therapy for me!....

Oh ShaRonda ~ This is so hard. Just being around babies was so hard, but it is getting easier for me. I came to the hospital to see my nephew 3 weeks after we lost Faith (SIL and I were due the same day) and it was so hard. Couldn't hold him for a few months though, didn't cry but the emotions were running. Sounds like a great friend you have though, so whatever emotion happens would be fine. Whatever you decide be easy on yourself and don't push to hard because you think it is the right thing to do.

For me it is getting easier to be around my nephew, but it is hard always comparing Faith to him. Wishing you peace. HUGS

My best friend had her baby about 3 weeks ago. She and I were pregnant together. I miss her so much and I want to go and visit her and the new baby. I am so afraid. I don't know how I will act. Will I cry my eyes out? Will I be okay? I haven't held a baby or even really looked at a baby in a very long time. My therapist says that it is time to see them. I know my friend will be understanding but I don't know what my reaction will be. My husband is hesitant as well.
Ladies, I need your help with this one.