I HATE TEXTING

I hate text messaging. I HATE TEXT MESSAGING. I suspect it’s because I am old (found out I’m a very young Generation Xer, NOT a very old Generation Yer/Millennial/whatever the hell they are calling kids today), and old people tend to be inept at adapting to new technology. Whatever it is, I am enraged by texting!

When I first got a cell phone, I had just graduated from college. It was awesome because it had caller id and call waiting, and I could make free long distance calls. Texting was something only the really tech savvy people were in to. I never used it to text, so why would I start? I am set in my ways, and see no need to change. Hell, I still use polyphonic ring tones!

The main reason I hate texting is because I’m charged 10 cents (think they bumped it to 15 or 20) for every message I send or receive. So right off the bat, I’m annoyed that someone sent me a message, when they could just call me for free. And you can just get straight to the point when actually talking to someone instead of this God awful dialog: “hey what r u doin?” “not much what r u doin?” back and forth back and forth. UGH. I’m sure you’re thinking “well, why not get unlimited texting?” Well, why pay an extra $5 a month when you can CALL ME FOR FREE. I don’t go anywhere near my allotted minutes, and it’s free on nights and weekends!

I was really turned off to text messages when they started to become sketchy. Once I missed out on something I really wanted to do because the text didn’t come through until hours after it was sent. This has happened more than once. How do you know if someone actually gets your message?

Also, I spell out every freaking word letter by letter…you know, pressing a button one, two, three (or even four!) times to get one freaking letter. Takes forever. My friend tried to get me to use some feature where you start pressing buttons and words pop up, but it was the most random shit ever. Not the words I wanted to use!

Along with the annoyance of “typing” this shit out, is “text speak”. This has irritated the shit out of me since the ol’ chat room days. I never realized how much I hated this bastardization of language until I saw those “IDK my BFF Jill” phone ads. Srsly ppl have turned n 2 the biggest bunch of retards by using this shit r u listening 2 what im sayin?

I get it, we are really into avoiding human interaction, I know. I’m on facebook. I send emails to people more often than calling them. But at least I can clearly articulate my thoughts. If you MUST communicate with me and don’t want to call me on the phone, by all means, send an email or leave a comment on my wall. It’s all good.

Finally, what pushed me over the edge is the amount of reckless and rage inducing things I see on a regular basis. People texting while driving a car! A distracted cell phone talker is scary enough, but at least their eyes are on the road. And I swear to god, one day I am going to lose my shit if I see someone texting throughout a play or movie. The tap tap tap and blue light from the cell phone makes me want to grab it and chuck it down the aisle, I am not even joking. Fucking leave if you are unable to sit through something for 2 hours without carrying on a conversation.

I know I am the minority, all the youngins are alllll about texting. It’s annoying as shit to get these stupid texts, then have to tell people to call me because “I don’t text”. Facebook is littered with groups full of people who don’t like me: I FUCKIN HATE WHEN PPL DONT TEXT YOU BACK!!!, I Hate When People Call Me After I Text Them. But surprisingly, I’ve got people in my court: I HATE TEXT MESSAGING!!!!!, I hate when people send you stupid text messages you dont care about. At least we can all live harmoniously, in a world where we all hate forwarded texts.

OK, I’ll concede…every once in awhile there is a reason to text – if you’re at a bar and trying to meet up, or if you’re somewhere where it might be rude to jab on the phone, say a rehearsal or when trying to report hate crimes on the subway.

But seriously, don’t be a douche. Texting is LAME. Save me a dime and CALL ME!

2 Responses to “I HATE TEXTING”

Your comment about text messaging during plays reminds me of the time I saw Victor Buono playing Falstaff in “Henry IV, Part II” in San Diego. As a developing thespian, I thought you might enjoy this story. Some guy in the front row was talking during the play. So in the middle of a scene, Buono held up his hand to the actor he was talking with and said “Stop”. He turned to the guy in the audience and said, “Shut up or get out! Got it? Shut up or get out.” Then he turned to the actor and said, “continue”. Once the actor closed his mouth, the scene continued. After the intermission, I noticed that the talker was gone. Even without that incident, it was a memorable performance. Good luck with Mockingbird.