Tag Archives: blizzard

While conservatives usually love a good snowstorm because it proves global warming is a hoax and Al Gore is fat, truth-seeking climatologist Rush Limbaugh is too smart to buy into the lies of such lefty media outlets as AccuWeather and the National Weather Service. He’s heard about this so-called Worst Snow Storm Ever, but he’s got a brilliant question about that, which you know is brilliant because he says his own self that “it is a brilliant question.” Are you ready for some brilliance? Brace yourselves: “How in the hell can a snow storm that hasn’t happened be historic?”
Read more on Rush Limbaugh: Big Government Nanny State Controlling You Through Weather Warnings…

Monday’s Rachel Maddow Show was of course all Snowmageddonghazigate, and they started the hour with Rachel freezing outside at Rockefeller Center. Happily, unlike Chris Hayes, who had to do his whole show outside, Rachel has enough star power to get herself back inside after the first commercial break, and so here she is telling us that she can’t feel her hands, and then getting down to the serious business of talking about how the only time one of America’s three biggest cities had a female mayor (Jane Byrne in Chicago) came to office largely because her predecessor just plain couldn’t handle the giant snowstorm of 1978. And so there is much talk of snow and politics, as well as file footage of then-Governor Michael Dukakis in a perfectly darling sweater. “He’s a Von Trapp!”
Read more on Morning Maddow: Snowmageddonghazigate Hits New York, Impeach … Someone…

Hey there, Eastern Seaboard Wonkers, we hear that you’re in for a bit of weather. Andrea Mitchell is doing her show in front of a weather radar map, CNN Money is already predicting “Winners and Losers” from the possibly record-setting blizzard of ’15, the usual idiots are already on Twitter going hurr-hurr-hurr there’s no such thing as “global warming,” and Mitt Romney is already preparing to explain why this blizzard is the only reason he’ll lose in 2016.
We at Wonkette are with you in spirit, though thank Crom not actually with you in the snow, and want to remind you to hoard toilet paper, make sure your flashlight has batteries, and above all, please consider willing all your earthly wealth to Wonkette, because surely this is The End. If you do survive, you may want to consider celebrating with a kickass Elizabeth Warrenovna For the People tee shirt (in men’s or women’s sizes), because LAYERING, and/or a nice coffee mug, which can also be used to dig out from the snow that is piled up against your door, or as a last resort, to hurl at the feral Chihuahuas that will soon be roaming the Northeast feasting on the millions of dead.
Read more on Goodbye, Northeast United States, Can We Have Your Stuff?…

Oh, sad face again: Millions are still without power in the U.S. Northeast, for about the fifth time this year. Whether caused by hurricanes, October blizzards, tornadoes, earthquakes or mysteriously unknown reasons, the East Coast has been slammed by one catastrophic blackout after another. And experts say it’s just going to get worse, everywhere, as the “new abnormal” of constant horrific superstorms and other natural/unnatural disasters wreak havoc on the nation’s worn-out old power grid. Once the declining reserves of foreign oil stop flowing to America — and that can happen immediately with a simple organized shutdown of the major U.S. ports — we might as well walk away from our worthless over-mortgaged houses and just set up a tent in the woods. Not like we’ve got jobs to go to, or money to spend on more worthless plastic bullshit. God, capitalist civilization has turned out to be a massive fraud. Read more on Massive U.S. Power Outages To Get Much Worse, More Frequent…

While you were being gnawed to death by Ice Rats, the White House socialist Bo Obama Kennedy was just fooling around in the snow. Next week he’ll be on the cover of The Sports Illustrated with his snowy ass in the air as if he just did not care. Also, things he found under the snow on the White House lawn: a half-eaten empenada from Julia’s, Newt Gingrich’s latest divorced wife, Scott Brown’s secret 300-series Beemer, and, uh, health care legislation. All were pronounced dead at the scene. [White House Flickr]
Read more on Bo Obama Is Just Cold Humping the Snow…

Ha ha, those old people had to stay at work until 1 a.m. this morning after being stuck in the smelly old Senate for the entire snowbound weekend, and now Health Care Reform is just another three 60-vote procedural operations from becoming a real true Senate law the House can screw up. YIPPEE! Read more on Everybody’s Happy About Senate’s 60-Vote Health Care Squeaker!…

Two local youths, seen here paralyzed with blind panic at being surrounded by fluffy white snow (The Washington Post)
Yay! Snow Day!
Drunk pages sledding down Capitol Hill! Tour guides throwing snowballs with rocks inside at fat Midwestern children! The Capitol Police shutting down every single government building to investigate 8 inches of mysterious white powder! School’s canceled, we think! Even if it isn’t, don’t go! Gentrifiers cross-country skiing down U Street in thousand-dollar parkas! Whee!
Read more on Weather: Scary!…