Tag Archives: gwyneth paltrow

Hola, Wonkers, we hope that your Sunday is treating you well. Pull up a chair, for we must now gossip about all the hilarious and CONTROVERSIAL stories that you clicked on the most this week! We thought you would all be super-excited about Marco Rubio running for president, but none of those stories made the top 10, :(. Guess Rubio will never be president now. Also never being President? Hillary Clinton, because none of her stories made the top 10 either! It’s all yours, Rand Paul!
Read more on It’s Sunday Funday At The Wonkette, Let’s Drink Mimosas And Judge People…

Movie star lifestyle guru Gwyneth Paltrow has taken up the SNAP challenge — to eat only what she can afford on the $29 a week, on average, that people on food stamps receive. Did you know the Internet is VERY MAD about this? How dare this privileged princess make a mockery of hunger advocacy blah blah yortle blerp? HOW DARE YOU GWYNETH PALTROW????
Read more on Jesus, Internet, What’s The Matter, Did Gwyneth Paltrow Bone Your Dad?…

Hear ye, hear ye! Step right up, friends! Contained in this cart is a collection of the finest tinctures and tonics guaranteed to clear up that scrivener’s palsy you’ve developed from writing so many vicious comments all over the electro-visual interconnection net. But first, a piece of important news in the world of snake oil hockery.
Read more on The Snake Oil Bulletin: You Want To Read About ‘The Amazing Randi,’ The Greatest Woo-Fighter…

Over at Happy Nice Time People this evening, we’ll teach you how to cope with the pain of learning that Gwyneth Paltrow and that dude from Coldplay are breaking up. We’ll also teach you to make a kick-ass eggplant parmesan. We show you some legit nice time where a construction worked is rescued from some ridiculous Michael-Bay looking flames, and, of course, sideboob.
Read more on You’ll Cry For Joy Over These Happy Nice Time Links…

For those of you who watch It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia, you will know what we mean when we say that conservatives are trying to Sweet Dee Michelle Obama. For those of you who don’t, Sweet Dee is the only female member of the group, and the guys pretty much spend the entire time telling her she’s an awful, ugly, hideous beastmonster of a human being, because Dennis is her sexual-predator brother, Mac is probably in deep denial about being gay and compensates for it by hating women, and Charlie does what other people say because he’s a human version of the three-eyed fish from The Simpsons.
Incidentally, this is what Sweet Dee looks like, and you would do her in a heartbeat.
Anyway, conservatives have decided that Michelle Obama has a big ol’ fat ass, and just won’t stop saying it.
“Fat butt Michelle Obama,” said Bob Grisham, a high school football coach who was surreptitiously recorded by one of his students. “Look at her. She looks like she weighs 185 or 190. She’s overweight.”
Grisham, who was suspended Monday, is neither the first nor the most high-profile person to feel moved to comment on the first lady’s physique. Conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh has repeatedly called her Michelle “My Butt” Obama. And Rep. F. James Sensenbrenner, the Wisconsin Republican, issued an apology after he was caught commenting on her “large posterior.” (Grisham has also said he misspoke.)
Read more on Racist, Sexist People Think Michelle Obama Is Fat Because Of Racism, Sexism…

The only British citizen of any distinction who supports Hillary Clinton is Elton John. The rest of the tea-swilling liberal Socialists in the tiny island nation of London would vote for Barack Obama if they could, and now even Americans living abroad are catching Obama Fever. In fact, several prominent Anglo-American celebrities have hosted various Obama fundraisers in their City of Ancient Plumbing! Find out which uppity former New Yorkers are now funding Hopey in pounds sterling.
Read more on Famous People In London Overwhelmingly Support Barack Obama…