Just in Case it Doesn’t Happen

My name is Elena and my husband and I have been trying to have a baby for 7 years and during that time, we endured three miscarriages along with numerous doctors stating there was no medical explanation. I don’t know about you, but when something can’t be explained medically, it makes my brain hurt and forced me to rely more on my faith in the Lord and His work in me. After a lot of encouraging words, heartfelt and heart seeking prayers from myself and other spiritual leaders, I realized that the root of not getting pregnant, for me, was fear. The kind of fear that likes to disguise itself as the all too familiar survival mentality of “just in case it doesn’t happen”.

However in November 2012, I attended a Women’s Conference in which a speaker named Lee Grady said he felt he needed to pray for someone in the audience who had not been able to have children and has had several miscarriages. Immediately I knew it was for me and it was my time for deliverance. Not only did the Lord use Lee Grady to command the fear that had a grip my womb to be loosed, but the Lord also used him to encourage life into that portion of my heart and spirit that had been sickened by deferred hope. Now I am honored to introduce you to our 7 month old little girl, Miss Isabel. She is God’s promise fulfilled.

While unable to sleep last night, I kept thinking about the testimony of this woman and her fear that was disguised as the survival mentality of “just in case it doesn’t happen.” I couldn’t help but wonder if I had any fears…

Do I fear never conceiving? No.

Do I fear a miscarriage? No.

Do I fear a still birth? No.

Do I fear not having a healthy pregnancy? No.

Do I fear having to wait until I am forty for my baby bird? No.

Do I fear having only one child? No

Fearless, right? While slowly drifting off to sleep, my eyes quickly popped open as I heard the Holy Spirit ask me this question… Do you fear being wrong and there is no “Josiah”?

Yes.

I often fear going in for an ultrasound and hearing the nurse tell me it is a Josefina and not a Josiah.

I often fear I will cause embarrassment to those who are supporting and encouraging me.

I often fear of being wrong and causing the faith of those around me to crumble.

I often fear and do not share my testimony with others because“what ifit doesn’t happen”.

Ninety percent of the time I am fully confident of what I heard from the Lord on May 20, 2012, but then there are moments, even days, in which I start to doubt and become fearful instead of fearless.

Fear.

It’s a nasty four letter word. It’s nasty because it’s used by the devil to paralyze us with anxiety, steal our peace, kill our hope, and ultimately hold us back. It will hold us back from having confidence “justin case it doesn’t happen”. It will hold us back from sharing our testimony with others “just in case it doesn’t happen”. It will hold us back from having hope “just in case it doesn’t happen.” It will hold us back from walking in faith “just in case it doesn’t happen” and ultimately because of our fear, it is what will hold us back from receiving all of God’s blessings. Why?

Fear is the absence of faith.

I refuse to allow fear to hold me back. I will constantly and consistently move forward no matter how crazy it appears or how impossible it seems.

What is it you fear? Maybe you fear God will not fulfill the desires He has placed in your heart? Maybe you fear another miscarriage? Maybe you fear you will never conceive naturally? Maybe you fear your next treatment cycle will fail? Maybe you fear of having complications in your pregnancy? Maybe you fear you are being punished? Maybe you fear you will have to work hard in order to earn the blessings of God? Maybe you fear to hope“just in case it doesn’t happen”?

Whatever it is you fear, let it go because fear is never from the Lord. It is only from the devil in order to make you miserable and hold you back in life. Therefore, refuse to entertain the thoughts of“just in case it doesn’t happen”and instead, replace it with faith that despite what you see, feel, or think, you will choose to have hope and believe.

Don’t let your fearful thinking limit God.

Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out it’s roots to the stream. It does not fear when heat comes, it has no worries in a year of drought and it never fails to bear fruit. Jeremiah 17:7-8

Fear is simply False Evidence Appearing Real

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you are right it is so hard and it’s not surprising that it’s one of the devil’s main tactics against us. He knows that if he can replace our faith with fear, he will hold us back. That’s his mission…to hold us back from God and everything His Son died to give us.

So good, Elisha. Thanks so much. When you listed all the things you don’t fear, I could answer probably ‘yes’ to every single one of them. This describes me perfectly, and I appreciate the encouragement to keep fighting these fearful thoughts. This has been a rough week for me in this area, so I really needed these words of faith today. Thanks for being brave!!!

oh girl I know you have had a rough week. Don’t let the enemy use his number one tactic of fear to cause you to settle or get discouraged. Stay in hope and tell the devil to sit down and shut up! hugs! xoxo

Wow! I know God must REALLY be trying to get this point across to me. Just the other night, we met two strangers, who quickly became new friends. As we said our good-byes and got ready to part ways, one of them spoke this quote to us…Fear is false evidence appearing real. I stood there, dumbfounded at her words. Seems like I have heard that somewhere before, but it just really hit a nerve that needed to be hit. And now today, you reinforced it in your post. I KNOW what you mean about wondering sometimes if we have really heard God right. I am struggling right now with wondering if something I want really badly is GOD leading me that way, or is it just ME wanting it so much. The wondering fills my heart with fear, and I just need to let it go and see how God works this whole thing out. Thank you SO much for your post today…I needed this so much! Love you, sweet friend. 🙂

I was just telling my sister Sarah about how we haven’t told many people about us starting the stuff to become foster parents “just in case it doesn’t happen”. I keep holding back thinking, maybe this won’t be what God wants. Maybe things won’t work out. We haven’t been approved yet, what if it doesn’t happen? Just in case… I don’t want other people getting their hopes up for us because.. well you never know… it might not happen. And that’s just for fostering! Gosh! When it comes to ever being pregnant… My fear is that I’ll never conceive, that or I’ll have to wait until I’m 40. I fear to hope. Hoping hurts because the more you hope the more things crash down around you when it doesn’t happen. Fearing to hope sounds like a funny thing, but it’s so very much there. For now I just want to get my focus off of any of that and on to helping a child out through foster care, whether we’ll be able to adopt the kid we take in or not. Every period that comes now just makes me want to get into fostering more, maybe a pregnancy isn’t what God has in store right now and fostering is? I don’t know…

oh my you have a lot going on in your pretty little mind! The Holy Spirit is our helper to lead us and guide us down the path God has in store. Spend time in prayer and ask Him to reveal to you all things. God is never a God of confusion (I Cor 14:33). I have learned that often times my hope was in the wrong things. Just keep your hope centered in God and you will never be disappointed because He makes everything beautiful in His perfect timing. Keep trusting. Keep believing. Keep hoping. hugs!! xoxox

Its a good thing to confront you fears. I also did that, and you know what? Just shortly afterwards I found out I was pregnant. See this post here as proof: http://keepingmyeyesonjesus.wordpress.com/2011/04/06/so-how-was-i-limiting-god/. 4 days after writing this I found out I was pregnant, although I did confront my fears (and the way I was limiting God) a little while before writing. But you can check and see the next post is the one where I announced my pregnancy.

This is definitely something I struggle with. Lately it’s been the question of “should I go see what the doctor can do for me?” but them I remind myself that GOD IS ABLE! And He wants me to be fruitful! I still believe that this is our year. I’ve been declaring it all year. This is the year of our baby!!!

I don’t really know what to say, except, I’m glad this worked for somebody! I’m confused, though, because A LOT of women get pregnant even though they are terrified it will never happen. So, it can’t be a “rule” that you won’t get pregnant if you have fear. But I do believe it’s a component. Does that make sense? XO

I don’t think it’s a rule but I do believe that the devil knows what we want and he knows what will stop us from getting all that God has for us…for some he instills fear and which creates a complete negative mindset. This negative mindset will steal our faith and the Bible says that without faith it is impossible to please God. The enemy’s only goal is to keep us from a relationship with God and to keep us from having all that God has provided for our lives…sometimes he uses fear, sometimes it’s sickness, sometimes it’s something completely different. The important thing is to talk to God and ask for Him to give us wisdom on what is blocking us from receiving His blessings. In this woman’s testimony it was revealed to her that it was “fear”. I just thought it was something interesting to think about 🙂 xo

Whoa, I needed to hear this. I think what I’m struggling with is the faith part. I can’t figure out what to have faith for. Obviously, I have faith in God and that His will is entirely for my good. But I have trouble putting faith in such a large and abstract/vague concept. I want to know if I should have faith for a conception and delivery? Or should I have faith for a successful adoption? Or perhaps faith that a childless life is what’s best? That’s the hard part for me… finding faith beyond the vague. I suppose that’s what God uses to grow me, though. Thanks so much for submitting this to my link-up!

Hey girl I totally get what you mean. What is your hearts desire? Have you asked God if this is your desire or His?

“But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. 6But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind.…” James 1:5

God wants to reveal to you His desires and His plan for your life. I know that if it is your desire to have a biological child of your own then there is nothing wrong with putting your faith in that. In the beginning He created our bodies to create life…He hasn’t changed His mind. It is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Sickness may be stopping you but we know that Jesus has paid the price for our sickness and that includes infertility. I know for me personally, I have put my faith in the fact that I am healed of PCOS and I will conceive In His timing. I hold on to that faith that with Him, nothing is impossible. Just ask Him what you need to be pursuing (conception, adoption, etc). He will tell you willingly 🙂 xoxox

Thank you for sharing this! I feel like I lived so much of my life in fear, and allowed Satan to use that to steal many things from me. But God truly can deliver us from any stronghold! Elena’s story is so awesome!

Thank you for this post. Just love your positivity and encouragement. My fears are different, but fear is still fear, whatever shape it takes. I fear that I’m doing the wrong thing in homeschooling my children, that I’m ruining them forever, that I misheard God about all sorts of things, etc. It’s torture. It really helped to read your words today.
This is a great verse to remember: There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18

yes I love that verse too!! Don’t fear! Trust that you have heard Him correctly. As long as we keep talking to Him daily, He will tell us if we need to change course. He wont ever use fear to cause us to change our course 🙂 xo

I love this! Fear has been a stronghold in my life since I was younger. It’s an enemy that I feel like I keep having to defeat. Once in awhile, it tries to sneak into my life very subtly, through open doors. This was an on time post for me…I will not let fear rule my life. I cling to the promises of God – He is not a God of fear! xoxoxo ❤

Yes! I love this. I can testify that letting go of fear can bring so much clarity and peace. I spent years planning a future that we could “fall back on” if we were never able to conceive. We finally did, but miscarried. But after our miscarriage, I decided I’d just take what the Lord gave us and do my best not to live in fear. I stopped fearing never conceiving again; my husband and I just tried our best to let our faith beat our fear. We got pregnant again this year, and at 6 weeks we thought we were miscarrying again. And you know what? We were sad, but we sat in the emergency room and said to each other, “Okay. We’ll just try again. And it will happen.” The next day, we saw the heartbeat that had eluded us in the ER the night before, and all was well. I’m now 17 weeks along.

I’m not saying things always work out perfectly when we choose to fight our fears, but the peace you get from letting go of that fear is life-changing. I never thought I’d be able to say, “It’s okay- let’s keep trying because I know it will happen” when faced with what I thought was my second miscarriage. But I did, and I felt complete faith at that moment. It was powerful!

Perfect timing as always! Now in the one week wait for this IVF, I really felt a sense of fear last night and this morning, I even prayed a ‘just in case’ prayer! Once again you have encouraged me to hold firm to God’s promises for me and eagerly anticipate a positive result! xx

My fears tend to stem from losing control. I don’t have control of my body, and I don’t have control over creating new life. Somehow, I’ve been thinking I did have that control… but our struggle with not being able to conceive (and not even ovulating!) for the past nine months has whapped me over the head to show me otherwise.

Trusting in God has been the blessing that’s slowly (oh, so slowly!) growing out of this journey. Thank you for articulating it so beautifully!

Thank you for reading!! Sometimes it’s okay to not have control because then that means God can have control and do His best for us. So don’t fear losing control. I know it may look impossible but with God all things are possible. In the natural it looks like it can’t happen but God works in the supernatural. xo

I definitely understand this. After the first miscarriage, I always thought that I was protecting myself by being excited but remembering “it might not work out”. Little did I realize, that wasn’t strength and looking at things realistically, that was me… afraid. That was me, afraid that I would again have to look at my husband and tell him, not this one. That was fear that I would never have kids, but maybe it is easier to handle if I just build up that wall. Over the past month or so of insanity, I feel as though I’ve been snapped out of it. I need to allow myself to fall completely, trust completely, give it up to God completely. It is so much easier now to now always be my own “Debbie Downer”, but instead to think about how God can do anything. I do believe that he intends for my husband and I to be parents, and I just have to patiently wait to see what He has in store for us.

That email I sent you earlier today was based on a lot of fear. I see that, now. “What if they are right, and I’m not meant to carry my own child?” Your email response AND this blog have helped me shift my thinking.

By the way, I ‘shut my pie hole’ today. My mother-in-law was texting me about how she had been praying for me. Previously, I would have answered, “IF God decides to give us a child….” This time, I answered, “WHEN God decides to give us a child….” It’s working already. 🙂