Eventually someone will disagree with something that you have written. It is inevitable. It may be a simple misunderstanding, it may be something you and your friends found entertaining that someone else found offensive, it may be a complete error that someone passionately corrects, and it may even be something as simple as a different perspective. Having these differences creates a wonderful opportunity for discussion, but when deciding to be a member of a community there are certain responsibilities that come with handling those differences.

When we join Blog Azeroth we have expectations, just as the members of Blog Azeroth have expectations. First on that list is the idea that we will not only be responsible for what we write, but that we'll also handle interactions with each other respectfully. When a disagreement arises, regardless of size, there are certain things that are expected of all parties involved: communication, cooperation, and mutually satisfactory resolution.

When responding to something it is always best to remain as objective as possible, even if we feel very passionately about the content in question. We are here to help each other. That is, in a nutshell, why Blog Azeroth even exists. Turning a disagreeing view into an attack upon the person who wrote it does not help anyone, and is counter-productive.

Quoting another blogger, linking to their post or comment, or otherwise bringing attention to the material you object with is perfectly normal. When it is an issue that could be seen as inflammatory or potentially negative, or if the original post seemed to be that type of content to you, it is always best to contact the author first and convey your concerns. More often than not it will not have been malicious in intent, but instead have arisen from an honest mistake. Be mindful of what others request in helping resolve the issue. If they are not cooperative at all then that is when you publicly "go on record," but give the original author a chance to help correct their mistake.

We are all responsible for helping people learn from their mistakes, just as we are responsible for what we write. As a community we are here to help each other, though, not to intentionally cause issues amongst ourselves.

Credit to Byaghro, thank you.

_________________// Jaedia's Menagerie - Lazy Sniper with a new name. // Twitter: @jaediaMy opinions are not necessarily those of Blog Azeroth.

While I am personally a very cautious and mellow blogger, it still has to be recognized that the blogging world would be a dull place indeed without opinionated posts and discussion tossed back and forth between bloggers. Not to mention that in the long run, conflict forces us to think of things in different ways and grow as people. If everything was "resolved" behind the scenes, we would not be able to learn from others' mistakes.

What is respectful and disrespectful is relative. I, personally, do not see anything wrong with criticizing someone's blog post, with or without their permission. I do frown upon name calling, exaggeration, misquotes, personal attacks. Still, a rude blogger has the same right as I do to their freedom of speech. I simply won't link to or promote a blogger that I find disrespectful and I encourage others to do the same.

As I see it, Blog Azeroth offers social support as a tool to deal with more difficult moments. I know I would always be there for any blogger who needs a shoulder to cry on or some words of encouragement and I'm sure that most, in not all, the mods here would as well.

Blogging can be tough, and when I was getting started, I was told time and time again that I needed thick skin and so on. What I learned here is that thick skin is something that comes from knowing that we all go through the same trials, hardships and feelings, whether we have 1 reader or 10 000, knowing that it's ok to make mistakes, to be criticized and that no one will think less of you as a person.

_________________Say what you want, *I* know the best weapon will always be the Giant Spoon.

It has been forever since I posted on these forums, but this is important enough to talk about and generate discussion. I do not disagree with the spirit of what was said above, but there are some things to address.

It has been said to me many times that the WoW blogosphere is a stagnant community because all we, as bloggers, give or get are pats on the back to each other. You very rarely see people taken to task for misinformation or something just plain wrong, and those who do become a sort of pariah for rocking the boat. I've even been told I don't have to apologize for giving out wrong/bad information on my blog.

If we are going to grow as a community, there needs to be critical views and opinions expressed. The goal of our blogs is to spread information; that cannot be achieved if everything is always worked out in private. Only one or two people being involved does not enrich, nor teach, a community.

Things you post on the internet are there for all to see and use as they wish, unless you specifically state on your blog somewhere that people may not use your words without your permission. For example, my blog is labeled, quite clearly, under a "Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License." It is hyper-linked to here, which clearly outlines the parameters on how information on my blog can be used.

One cannot expect to put their thoughts out for the whole world and not receive answers in return. We are an open community, and we should not have to censor someone who is passionate and respectful (not name-calling or cursing or bashing) because of some fear of reprisal, or someone's feelings will be wounded, or someone will misunderstand their intent, simply for disagreeing strongly with what a member of the community is saying. If someone is saying something out in the open, they should be able to handle discussion about it that is also out in the open.

Building off of others' posts, whether in agreement or disagreement, is a part of functioning as a community, and someone who disagrees should not feel afraid to say so publicly because they may be looked down upon as a rabble-rouser, troublemaker, troll or bully. Again, I am not advocating actually bashing each other, but giving the same legitimacy to passionate disagreement that goes with the original post. This community should not cause people to feel bad for posting said passionate disagreement, nor label them as pariahs for taking a public route for dealing with a public issue.

As I see it, Blog Azeroth offers social support as a tool to deal with more difficult moments. I know I would always be there for any blogger who needs a shoulder to cry on or some words of encouragement and I'm sure that most, in not all, the mods here would as well.

I agree, as would I, the problem is that there are bloggers who would feel intimidated perhaps, or maybe too shy to think they have the right to ask for help from people they feel they barely know. That was when a problem arises, when things can't be sensibly worked out.

I am by no means saying that censorship is the way forward, just that sometimes a little tact is needed. Everybody is entitled to share their opinions, but that opinion will always be read is several different ways, and when others become the subject of that opinion, then it becomes quite a fragile subject. Often the post can be written without having to refer to anybody else. If a person removes their post or comment, would you still consider it to be public domain?

_________________// Jaedia's Menagerie - Lazy Sniper with a new name. // Twitter: @jaediaMy opinions are not necessarily those of Blog Azeroth.

The thing to make note of here is not that resolutions should always be "behind-the-scenes," but that resolutions should take place where both parties involved can help to promote the correction. I'm not certain how the perception that things should be resolved behind-the-scenes was drawn from the original content, other than perhaps mistaking the thought of trying to get the original author to work with you on a resolution being taken as something that would not result in publicly posting the resolution. To me it is simply being respectful and courteous to do so when dealing with a subject that is likely to ignite passionate, and subsequently negative, commentary.

the problem is that there are bloggers who would feel intimidated perhaps, or maybe too shy to think they have the right to ask for help from people they feel they barely know.

Hence the whole point of me posting that here! And the point of having private forums to talk about issues among other bloggers.

I've reached out on a few occasions to other bloggers when I felt that they might want to chat or hear some encouraging words and I know of other bloggers who do the same because they've reached out to me when I needed it. But I'm sure a lot goes unnoticed, so I do like to remind people that there are resources for them here when they need it.

_________________Say what you want, *I* know the best weapon will always be the Giant Spoon.

The thing to make note of here is not that resolutions should always be "behind-the-scenes," but that resolutions should take place where both parties involved can help to promote the correction. I'm not certain how the perception that things should be resolved behind-the-scenes was drawn from the original content, other than perhaps mistaking the thought of trying to get the original author to work with you on a resolution being taken as something that would not result in publicly posting the resolution. To me it is simply being respectful and courteous to do so when dealing with a subject that is likely to ignite passionate, and subsequently negative, commentary.

I understand this. I am also saying that the community should not be afraid of passionate and negative commentary, and rather should embrace it. To grow, a community should be able to handle negativity in the same medium it handles positivity; we can only stagnate if the surface world is all kittens and sunshine. Being respectful, of course, and not name calling, degrading or bashing. But what you suggest is it is rude to make a counter opinion because it may hurt the feelings of the one expressing the original opinion, which is akin to censorship.

At what point does the original poster have more right to post things which cause someone's passionate, opposite opinion, than the person responding does to respond in the exact same manner, in their own space or in open comments? Simply saying "This is wrong, I don't agree with it, and this is why" should not force the person with the opposite opinion to jump through hoops because they are full of fear that the community will lash out at them for having a different opinion. As well, simply having a different opinion does not mean resolution is required. There does not have to be a right or a wrong in differing opinions, either, no matter how passionate the disagreement may get.

Sometimes there is right and wrong and rulebreaking, however, and letting the rest of the community be ignorant of it because it is more "PC" to not post the resolution nor go public with the problem helps no one. It does not help the main author, it does not stop other authors from committing similar mistakes, and it shows an intolerance for any discussion that could possibly become 'heated.' Especially if the problem is bigger than themselves, and their post just shows another example of something that should be corrected.

If more people were receptive to passionate commentary that differs from their own opinion, more bloggers would be prepared to have honest, open discussions in which the possibility of being wrong does not equate being a horrible person (nor does saying "I think you're wrong" make you a horrible peron), and in which they can understand that a disagreement can be about something bigger than themselves without feeling crucified. A blogger should not be made to feel guilty for posting a negative opinion simply because they have a larger audience or more "clout." They should not be made to feel like they're picking on someone when they're just expressing an opinion that is against someone else's.

I will be honest; I have turned the blind eye and "left well enough alone" multiple times when I read things I disliked, had opinions against, or bothered me because I was afraid of this backlash that could come from being perceived as the only hostile blogger in the community, simply for having a difference of opinion that could be interpreted as "attacking." I have talked with many bloggers who, at one time or another, have expressed dissatisfaction with others writings, but saw pointing out any flaws or expressing a negative opinion as more trouble than it is worth, or too negative, or would give them too much backlash. It is a real problem to feel like the possibility of being seen negatively will censor someone's blog efforts.

I would prefer that anything and everything I post for the rest of my time in WoW blogging be ripped to shreds than have people feel like the fact that they're posting an opposite opinion, that generates passionate discussion, is a bad thing because of the possibility that they'll be looked down upon. Adversity can only make you a stronger author.

At what point does the original poster have more right to post things which cause someone's passionate, opposite opinion, than the person responding does to respond in the exact same manner, in their own space or in open comments? Simply saying "This is wrong, I don't agree with it, and this is why" should not force the person with the opposite opinion to jump through hoops because they are full of fear that the community will lash out at them for having a different opinion. As well, simply having a different opinion does not mean resolution is required. There does not have to be a right or a wrong in differing opinions, either, no matter how passionate the disagreement may get.

I don't think I have at any point see anybody say this. Nor do I think that people shouldn't feel free to write what they want. I simply think that a little tact and dignity is needed from time to time, to put it simply.

_________________// Jaedia's Menagerie - Lazy Sniper with a new name. // Twitter: @jaediaMy opinions are not necessarily those of Blog Azeroth.

I understand this. I am also saying that the community should not be afraid of passionate and negative commentary, and rather should embrace it. To grow, a community should be able to handle negativity in the same medium it handles positivity; we can only stagnate if the surface world is all kittens and sunshine. Being respectful, of course, and not name calling, degrading or bashing. But what you suggest is it is rude to make a counter opinion because it may hurt the feelings of the one expressing the original opinion, which is akin to censorship.

Not at all. I think this is where the perception you have of what I'm saying differs greatly from what is meant, thought I may simply be reading it differently. Let's see if this explains it better:

Counter opinions are excellent. I've stated that numerous times and always welcome opposing views. What I'm suggesting is that if a counter opinion, or the original content, is something that seems as though it will create pain or negativity for one or both parties involved then it is polite to reach out to the other person first to discern a couple of things: 1) was it a mistake or something misunderstood, and 2) is the original author willing to cooperate on a resolution or is it time to post on your own site?

Honestly, I would hope anyone would extend me that courtesy if they took offense to something I posted, and I don't view that as any form of censorship, limitation of expression, or even a variation of politically correct behavior. I view that as showing respect to a fellow blogger because the person at least took a moment to see if it was an honest mistake or if I deserve to be harshly criticized.

Another important thing to remember is that... negative posts directed at your ideas are not necessarily personal attacks against you. If you learn how to accept negative criticism in a more detached way from what you wrote, you can also help from keeping things from getting out of hand. It's not about you, it's about an idea that you wrote (and someone is always going to disagree with what you say, even if they think you are a good person).

I deal with a fair amount of criticism & trolling directed at me. Instead of quitting blogging and writing guides (which would hurt me and the community), I decide to not let that negativity get to me. Instead, I respond to attacks with kindness & understanding (or in the case of posting on the wow cesspool forums, walking away ends up being the best solution of all - and saying my piece, then exiting, rather than letting them get me all worked up).

For example, this was my response to diffusing the drama that erupted over my healing sticky in the druid forums:

Due to how I handled the negative criticism, the person criticizing me actually edited their forum posts, and apologized to me for the misunderstanding. I also went back and used the more constructive pieces of their criticism to edit my healing guide. Both sides felt like they "won", and I taught a forum troll how to post constructively at the same time. It turns out that they thought they had to troll me to get my attention, and I showed them that they took the wrong approach and how to get ahold of me in a way that doesn't create a 10-page long forum trolling thread.

It's okay to stand up for yourself when someone is criticizing you, but it is important to learn how to do that in a way that doesn't end up being a hurtful drama feeding frenzy. It's also important to try to show people respect when you want to criticize them, but bloggers have to deal with the criticism regardless of how it's phrased.

Learning to deal with negative criticism is part of being a public figure, which is what you become when you are a blogger, regardless of what you intend your readership size to be. Just remember that - negative criticism isn't personal, because the other person only knows what you wrote, not who you are.

That is a very good response Lissanna. Some people's personalities just don't allow them to manage negative criticism, it's very difficult to change that. However, there is a lot to learn about how to handle negative criticism, whether it be take it face on with a cool and collected attitude, or walk away to avoid any over the top reactions from yourself, or maybe even another method.

_________________// Jaedia's Menagerie - Lazy Sniper with a new name. // Twitter: @jaediaMy opinions are not necessarily those of Blog Azeroth.

My simple statement to the issue is the concepts of resolution and education. I think that when the opinions are that passionate and seem to extend further than simple disagreement, the people involved should be talking "behind-the-scenes". Interpretation is EVERYTHING in blogging, in life, in law, etc. When it comes down to misinterpretation on either side, its more of a mess than a disagreement of opinions. Therefore, they work towards a solution together...

At that point, use that process and the situation to educate the readers on the situation and ways to handle it. Explain the situation from a neutral stance now and show them you're passionate enough to get resolve.

Sure you can make a webcomic if you don't have any artistic skill, but you can't expect people to admire you for your amazing drawings.

Just like you can be a blogger if you can't handle criticism, but you can't expect everyone else to cater to your sensitivities.

EDIT: Also realizing that I'm making the blogging world sound like a big, scary place. It isn't. Actually, it's just like real life- most of the time everything's rosey, but when you get a lot of vocal, passionate people communicating, conflicts occasionally happen and you have to accept that. I assure all new bloggers that the key word is occasionally!

_________________Say what you want, *I* know the best weapon will always be the Giant Spoon.

Sure you can make a webcomic if you don't have any artistic skill, but you can't expect people to admire you for your amazing drawings.

Just like you can be a blogger if you can't handle criticism, but you can't expect everyone else to cater to your sensitivities.

And on those points you and I absolutely agree. We can, however, encourage everyone to recognize that all types exist in the blogosphere and that a little mindfulness/responsibility can go a long way to creating a positive atmosphere for opposing views instead of a negative one (not to mention making newer bloggers less afraid of speaking up with questions, ideas, etc.). It will never be a "perfect" environment, but my hope is that this can help educate others on how things can turn negative quickly and how we can help avoid unnecessary negativity (subjective, yes, but the thoughts portrayed here and in the ensuing discussion can certainly only help others understand differing views and, hopefully, be able to learn to accept criticism better).

If you don't have the right personality to be a blogger, don't be a blogger. But really, if your personality doesn't allow you to accept criticism, you're in for a pretty rough life.

Isn't that, at the heart, then censoring people for having a different personality to the stronger willed bloggers who can handle criticism?

If you don't like receiving criticism, don't write things that would bring it to you. If you can't handle negative criticism, going around blasting your opinions from the rooftips getting as much attention as possible isn't going to be the best route, but if a person like that enjoys writing, 'not blogging' also may not be the best option.

_________________// Jaedia's Menagerie - Lazy Sniper with a new name. // Twitter: @jaediaMy opinions are not necessarily those of Blog Azeroth.

We can, however, encourage everyone to recognize that all types exist in the blogosphere and that a little mindfulness/responsibility can go a long way to creating a positive atmosphere for opposing views instead of a negative one (not to mention making newer bloggers less afraid of speaking up with questions, ideas, etc.). It will never be a "perfect" environment, but my hope is that this can help educate others on how things can turn negative quickly and how we can help avoid unnecessary negativity (subjective, yes, but the thoughts portrayed here and in the ensuing discussion can certainly only help others understand differing views and, hopefully, be able to learn to accept criticism better).

I can't argue with you there!

I have to recognize that the topic is really complex (which is probably why there's so much discussion going on).

I'm definitely all for promoting respect! Still, what we've discovered this week is that the definitions of what is considered respectful and disrespectful aren't the same for everyone. I'm sure we all look down upon name calling and obvious personal attacks, but there is that gray area in between.

I'm also a huge proponent of having the right to say what you want on your blog. I self-censor, yes, because that's my personal code of ethics. I don't expect others to follow it. Besides, if someone is disrespectful in their blogging, they'll attract a certain type of audience and quite often they end up treated the same way they treat others.

Then there's the question of "thick skin". If you want to do stuff in public, there's going to be bad along with the good. Not just in the blogging world but in every aspect of life.

Yes, I definitely encourage others to be respectful and positive in their writing. But at the same time, I also encourage others to remember that there is a gray area area and what might be offensive to one is not necessarily offensive to another.

Jaedia wrote:

Isn't that, at the heart, then censoring people for having a different personality to the stronger willed bloggers who can handle criticism?

No. If someone wants to blog provocatively, but can't handle criticism, there's nothing stopping them, they just won't have a very pleasant experience.

_________________Say what you want, *I* know the best weapon will always be the Giant Spoon.

So a topic that has actually caused me to dust off my account and log into BA. MAN It's been forever since I participated in BA or BA Chat (is that still around?)

The current drama is there it's always been there. People will love, hate, or somewhere in between about what you wrote. But what always has to happen is we need to remember that as a blogger you do have some sway on public opinion and their reaction to it. (Yeah, I probably skipped a lot of this in the TLDR due to rampant ADD atm.)

I'm still struggling with my own "response" to this. So I pobably don't have a ton to say at the moment here. But here's what I hope is an example of what we all should be doing.

1. If you're not directly involved in the debate. Hold off commenting until you get both sides.2. Learn about the issue and why it's such a hot button.3. Don't focus on the people involved but the issue being debated.4. If you have questions or disagreements that might inflame a situation reach out to the person involved.5. Venting is normal. But let people know you're venting.6. NEVER forget that you have an audience that follows you, not just your information and that gives you power. (Why they follow me? I don't have a clue.)7. Last but not least as the words of the great Peter Parke (Yes, that Peter Parker) "with great power comes great responsibility"

Isn't that, at the heart, then censoring people for having a different personality to the stronger willed bloggers who can handle criticism?

If you don't like receiving criticism, don't write things that would bring it to you. If you can't handle negative criticism, going around blasting your opinions from the rooftips getting as much attention as possible isn't going to be the best route, but if a person like that enjoys writing, 'not blogging' also may not be the best option.

There's actually a point where you can avoid writing about topics that are likely going to attract negative attention. I tend to get fewer trolls on my blog compared to what I post on the forums because I purposefully avoid framing things on my blog in a way that would invite the wrong kind of attention.

For example, I avoid posting much in the way of real life details on my blog so that my blog is detached from who I am as a person outside of the game world. I also avoid posting on really controversial or sensitive topics if I'm worried about it opening the wrong "can of worms". You can be a blogger without having a really thick skin - you just have to post in a way that is positive so that you won't breed the type of negativity that begets negativity.

However, the WOW community has a huge section of non-bloggers who enjoy trolling bloggers just for fun. You have to learn when to delete inappropriate comments on your site, and how to monitor situations before they spiral out of control (which is where sometimes we fail and things get out of hand). These problems aren't really all that common (especially for smaller blogs). On the WOW forums, Ghostcrawler has a habit of "Feeding the trolls" which turns the whole place into a frenzy of more trolling. In the blogging world, deleting comments is a good way for bloggers to control the frenzy on their own posts.

When other bloggers post things on their site that you think is offensive or hurtful to you, then you should tell them how their writing made you feel (by e-mail rather than comment so that you don't set off another troll feeding frenzy). You shouldn't avoid posting just because you are afraid of what other people may say. It's really not okay to let the trolls dictate what you want to do with your life. You can even disable comments on a post if you don't want to hear what other people have to say on a more sensitive topic.

There's actually a point where you can avoid writing about topics that are likely going to attract negative attention. I tend to get fewer trolls on my blog compared to what I post on the forums because I purposefully avoid framing things on my blog in a way that would invite the wrong kind of attention.

For example, I avoid posting much in the way of real life details on my blog so that my blog is detached from who I am as a person outside of the game world. I also avoid posting on really controversial or sensitive topics if I'm worried about it opening the wrong "can of worms". You can be a blogger without having a really thick skin - you just have to post in a way that is positive so that you won't breed the type of negativity that begets negativity.

However, the WOW community has a huge section of non-bloggers who enjoy trolling bloggers just for fun. You have to learn when to delete inappropriate comments on your site, and how to monitor situations before they spiral out of control (which is where sometimes we fail and things get out of hand). These problems aren't really all that common (especially for smaller blogs). On the WOW forums, Ghostcrawler has a habit of "Feeding the trolls" which turns the whole place into a frenzy of more trolling. In the blogging world, deleting comments is a good way for bloggers to control the frenzy on their own posts.

When other bloggers post things on their site that you think is offensive or hurtful to you, then you should tell them how their writing made you feel (by e-mail rather than comment so that you don't set off another troll feeding frenzy). You shouldn't avoid posting just because you are afraid of what other people may say. It's really not okay to let the trolls dictate what you want to do with your life. You can even disable comments on a post if you don't want to hear what other people have to say on a more sensitive topic.

QFT.

That's exactly how I handle my blog, I keep my personal life, for the most part, out of it. I'm careful what to write, thinking what kind of attention I want on my blog and I decided more of a happy atmosphere would suit my blog best.

Underlined the part I agree with in particular. It's realising when the trolls are just commenting for the sake of trolling, and not to necessarily get at you.

_________________// Jaedia's Menagerie - Lazy Sniper with a new name. // Twitter: @jaediaMy opinions are not necessarily those of Blog Azeroth.

When other bloggers post things on their site that you think is offensive or hurtful to you, then you should tell them how their writing made you feel (by e-mail rather than comment so that you don't set off another troll feeding frenzy). You shouldn't avoid posting just because you are afraid of what other people may say. It's really not okay to let the trolls dictate what you want to do with your life. You can even disable comments on a post if you don't want to hear what other people have to say on a more sensitive topic.

Trolls taste best when marinated over night.

There is more truth to this statement than the humor first lets on. really though. Just as Lissanna said. Contact the blogger before setting off a public Troll Frenzy. (Well, unless you're me and don't really mind baiting, fighting, and pointing out just how silly the trolls are for caring so much.)

Seriously, my biggest lesson from WoW.com. Don't feed the trolls. I'll disagree with Lissanna on the point of deleting the comments. Unless they're just downright crudely offensive it's often best to just ignore them. Deleting comments is often just another means of feeding them. Block their account, block their IP (it won't stop them permanently, but it'll slow them down.) If that doesn't work. Well, you can always restrict comments.

But NEVER!! NEVER! Let the trolls dictate your comments. Do this and they have won.-Brig

I've been reading this thread all day and watching the ping-pong ball go back and forth. There's really been some great discussion and tips for bloggers trying to keep control of their own space as well as general rules of engagement as it were.

I think it always comes back to the Golden Rule "Treat others as you want to be treated."

If you keep your posts, comments, and discussion with the community positive, or at worst, neutral when you find a point of disagreement, I think we could prevent much of the flaming, and enjoy more of the discussion that makes blogging such a fun activity to be a part of.

While we won't always agree--and I hope we don't!--there's a fine line between having a great discussion and creating a firestorm.

To steal windsoar's turn of phrase, I am a "neutral blogger." I don't go out of my way to tick people off, but I'm certainly not going to soften my views on other people's blog posts just in case they can't take hearing that they're wrong. Writing for the internet public is like singing on open mic night; if you can't take an honest, if sometimes harsh, criticism then you shouldn't be putting yourself out there. Just because I am a blogger of some genre does not mean that I should have to constantly consider the emotions of all other bloggers in that genre. I count myself lucky in that the only things I tend to call out in public are the posts others make with incorrect factual information, but if I were of a mind to disagree strongly about other topics, why should I be obligated to honey-coat my opinions? If vehement disagreement is not desired then it is on the shoulders of the original poster not to write things that would cause disagreement. Bringing up politics at a social gathering and then getting upset because it causes an argument is just silly.

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