well.. we made it through the wedding week with no use of the epipen, and only Benydryl 3 times!! (which wasn't food related)

We did stay with my mom, and we pretty much didn't do anything with the family. The wedding was nut/egg free... I know, because I did the food and made sure of that.. It was a brunch and no egg in sight (except for the cake, which was ordered)... I don't think anyone even noticed! We went out to a fish restaurant for the night before, and they didn't have any peanut anything on the menu, and all their batters had no egg. Most people just ordered grilled fish anyway.. so it went well.

Thanks to all of you for your concern and for the support. My family has been made aware that we will never be a part of any big gathering with them again, until they can respect me and my child. I am just so happy we kept her safe.

Wonderful update! I think it was a great choice to stay with your mom, and I'm so glad things went very well! It truly amazes me how selfish families can be (I know frompersonal experience), they read a news bite about 'outgrowing allergies' and then can'[t understand why a donut from Tim Hortons isn't ok, or why we CHECK EVERY LABEL and DO NOT allow outside baked goods.

What I hope for you and your DD's sake is that your family somehow really 'gets it' and soon so that you are able to attend events when relatives gather. I am relieved to hear your weekend went without incident, what your family has to realize is that there was no incident due to your vigilance, change of plans as far as accomadations and your extra efforts to organize food events.
Hugs and great job, I know that your 100% priority is your daughter, it still is hard I'm sure to be forced into a situation where you had to be confrontational and rock the boat so to say with immediate family.
Unfortunate, but as we've often read on this forum necessary to do.

Your daughter is lucky to have you. She will learn so much from you as she grows up about standing up for herself and putting herself first when it comes to safety.

I'm so glad that the wedding was a success and that everyone was able to enjoy the event!

Each family has a way of relating to other members and when you bring two families together in the form of a wedding where roles are changed and new alliances are formed...it can be like Big Brother in hyperspeed!

Add a momma bear who is desperate to keep her child safe while still trying to fulfill the responsibilties of her family role and you have a powder keg situation.

You deserve a rest -you did good! Put a few months of distance between you and the event. You have allies in you your sister (bride) and your mother. They can educate the others in their subtle ways of showing that keeping a baby, any baby safe is both within their abilities and expectations.

glad that you were able to stay with your mom so you could attend and keep your daughter safe. I can't believe your family's response. that's harsh.

I've managed to stay with family who don't 'get it', but it is hard. I cook all of my own food myself. i seriously bring all my kitchen supplies (pots + pans + a couple of knives, etc., etc.) I use cutlery/plates/bowls, etc. that are in the cupboard already, but I check them to make sure they're 100% clean first (especially the cutlery since there are some crumbs in the drawer...) Some folks think I'm overly anxious, but oh well.

I'm writing a story for Allergic Living on close relatives who don't "get it" and this thread certainly reminds me why we need to spotlight troubling stories about families and severe food allergy every few years.

If anyone would like to contact me through email or pm with an anecdote about a certain family misstep or two, you can reach me at mcarolynblack@rogers.com

Please provide as much detail about the situation as possible, how you felt, whether things have improved or worsened, or you can email me with your phone number so we can discuss it at your convenience. The stories can be about a child's or an adult's allergy and the problems trying to trigger that 'light bulb moment' with extended (or even immediate) family.

I just reread the previous article you wrote, well done, thank you, and was wondering if you have ever written an article regarding schools, as that is ususally where our children are when we're not present and to me seems a bigger issue. Maybe next?

No worries, alberta advocate! I did write a reply better explaining myself but it seems to have vanished - Susan, can you see where I wrote a reply in the past hour to any other AL threads? Maybe I posted it somewhere else by mistake - talk about being new at this tech stuff, ha!

Anyway, I'm a freelance writer and I have written several schools/allergy stories for the Toronto Star and Education Today (Ontario Public School Board's magazine) but nothing yet for Allergic Living. AL has quite a number of great articles on schools by other writers - check under the School section on the main page.

We do feel this relatives story needs to be revisited because anecdotes surface regularly in many allergy support forums. We'll have new expert perspectives on how to deal and tips to improve communication. Hope this helps explain!

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