Oh Mama. I am so sorry. I am not sure how to help you find help. I know you are in Canada. So does your primary have to refer you to a Psychiatrist? Here in the US a Psychiatrist would be the one to make the diagnosis.

1) Do you have an employee assistance program? I live in BC and have a nurse friend who has access to Interlock. It's free counseling for certain employee groups, and they give you 6-8 sessions or so directed towards a goal (in this case, it would probably be tackling the disordered eating). If you live in Victoria, I can PM you the name of an excellent counselor to request.

2) The eating disorders program in my city accepts self-referrals. An intake counselor will call you and make the decision about whether you qualify or not. Sometimes GPs don't understand eating disorders very well (e.g. mine thought that binge eating without purging wasn't serious enough to warrant a referral). So, I would recommend tracking down the eating disorders program near you and giving them a call yourself, just in case you do actually qualify for services. It's a provincially funded program, so you can find it in the blue pages for your area under Province of BC.

3) It sounds to me like you suffer from PMDD (pre menstrual dysphoric disorder). I'm surprised your GP wouldn't recognise that. At any rate, the recommended treatment for this is an SSRI (or, if you prefer a more natural alternative, you may wish to try 5-htp or St. John's Wort). Sometimes you don't even have to take an SSRI for the full month, just the part of your cycle that feels the worst. Interestingly, some SSRIs are approved for the treatment of bulimia. Just because you don't purge anymore doesn't mean that the chemical imbalance that contributes to the disorder isn't still there.

4) If you can't access counseling through work or the eating disorders program, then I second the Overeaters Anonymous thing. It works for a lot of people. They have a website where you can find meetings in your area if you google OA.

Good luck, mama. It sounds like you have a lot of strength, and you've been through a lot lately, so be gentle with yourself.

Could it be PMDD involved with your eating issue, and maybe you could get treatment for the PMDD/possible hormone/thyroid issue causing you to feel no drive....and while you are there also happen to be treated for the eating issue?

Your User Agreement here at MDC, read it and make it your friend and read the FAQ to answer all the questions of the (MDC) world.

Sweetheart, I know what you are going through. I am there myself. I don't want to purge anymore, but I still do sometimes. I am trying so hard to lose weight but I just want to eat all the time and then purge and not have to worry about it... I lost 60 lbs that way a few years ago and was sooo happy. And now I feel so crappy, but I know purging is not the way to lose weight Argh.

It doesn't help that it is so easy for me to puke, sheesh.

Anyway, I have no advice, but I wanted you to know you are not alone. I seriously read this and my jaw dropped for the similarities between us.

Kris - married to Nate since 12/06, mom to Toby since 1/08. Also servant to two felines. Done having babies for medical reasons.

OOPS, sorry!!!! I meant that the doctor won't refer me because I don't PURGE. I binge....but I don't purge anymore. I could lie though. I'm willing to lie to save my own butt.

Do it. My personal opinion is that there are many more eating disorders than we are even aware of..compulsive eating is one of them...get that referral however you have to.

I'm working with someone now who has serious compulsive eating disorder(as a life coach) and she's doing well but it's going to be a complete life over haul for her. She will be getting medical attention for herself as she goes through these changes. She's using hypnosis as her primary self help modality.

Secondly, you gotten some good advice here. I understand you say that you are an emotional eater (totally get what you're feeling there!) and that you have a terrible, horrible 10 days towards the end of your cycle.
If I were you (what I did do) is to have your hormonel levels checked out.

Well, first I would try the elimination diet because that can be done on your own without a Dr and gradually.
If you don't find any triggers there then PUSH to have your hormone levels checked.
I did and am now amazed at how differently I feel with treatment.
My thyroid was within normal levels too (on the low side, but normal), hair was falling out, etc.
The things you mention all have a tendancy to be affected by hormonel abnormalities...and can happen at any age. Just an idea.

Also, there are tons of self-help books about emotional eating. I would invest the time to sit down and read them....do some self discovery.

Lastly, in this situation I would not feel an ounce of guilt about "lying" to the Dr. It's a technicality, really. You have had on and off cycles of binging and purging so there's a chance that you could start again. (lots of hope and love that you don't) You deserve the help that's out there.

Perhaps check out The Mood Cure and The Diet Cure. I didn't read the latter but The Mood Cure discussed emotional eating and even the specific types of cravings. However, I don't know if that necessarily encompasses binging, but could be worth a look. The idea is that certain deficiencies trigger cravings for certain foods or substances.