Oakland Raider head Coach Tom Cable watches from the sidelines in the first half as the San Francisco 49ers beat the Oakland Raiders 21-20 at Candlestick Park in San Francisco, Calif., on Saturday August 22, 2009, in a pre-season game.

Photo: Michael Macor, The Chronicle

Oakland Raider head Coach Tom Cable watches from the sidelines in...

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San Francisco 49er quarterback Alex Smith (11) looks downfield in the first quarter as the San Francisco 49ers take on the Oakland Raiders at Candlestick Park in San Francisco, Calif., on Saturday August 22, 2009, in a pre-season game.

So Tom Cable walks. That's how you'd have figured it to play given the other characters and circumstances involved.

But more than that, Napa County District Attorney Gary Lieberstein said that Raiders assistant coach Randy Hanson couldn't satisfactorily explain to Lieberstein's conviction rate how his jaw was broken.

And that, ultimately, is the lesson here. Nobody told enough of a believable story for us ever to figure out what Cable, the Raiders head coach, actually did to Hanson's face, let alone what his intent was when he did whatever it was he did.

With that kind of iron-clad certitude, is it any wonder that Lieberstein looked during his seemingly interminable press conference like he'd just swallowed a live and irritated ferret? He could have just issued a statement without ever coming out to talk to the gathered medioids, or he could have worked his full 15 minutes of fame (which he did), but ultimately his message was, "Nobody told us anything we could run with, so we're running away."

Yes, the unsolvable red ball - next to losing the next election, it is the district attorney's best friend.

Lieberstein did attempt at one point to explain how he thought Hanson's jaw might have been broken, a tangled version of a coach trying to prevent Cable from actually hitting Hanson, bumping into Hanson while he sat back in his chair with his feet on a table and knocking him down. How he determined this is open to any level of speculation, and could have included anything up to and including "ginned-up pixies with wands."

It is the part of Thursday's show that rings least true. I mean, why would this version be better than any other? The likelihood that nobody told the full and unvarnished truth at any point makes far more sense - except maybe the pixies. That he picked out one story for public discussion as opposed to any other seems daft.

The rest of the story, though, can be boiled down to this chunk of Lieberstein's statement:

"Prosecutors are ethically required not to prosecute cases where they believe that it is unlikely that a jury would reach a verdict of guilty beyond a reasonable doubt based on the evidence and facts known to them. We do not believe a jury would convict Mr. Cable of any offenses beyond a reasonable doubt."

In short, Lieberstein can't win, so his record and electability dictate that he can't play.

He was critical of Hanson's inability or unwillingness to speak fully when asked about the incident. He was not so bothered by the fact that the other witnesses all work for the Raiders and are inclined to seek and defend their own self-interest, re: continued employment.

But he was clear on the main reason why he didn't want it. It's a no-win proposition for him, and as any self-respecting D.A. will tell you, no-win propositions are to be avoided at all costs.

The NFL, of course, said it would review the facts of the case, according to spokesman Brian McCarthy. How it would have facts independent of Lieberstein's is another matter, but while commissioner Roger Goodell might find a reason to punish Cable for rushing toward Hanson, that seems a mighty thin reed upon which to balance a suspension or fine. He could do something based on the terms of the league's policy for employee conduct, but that seems an even longer shot than Lieberstein choosing to prosecute.

As for the players, they will do as they have been conditioned to do for years - keep their heads down as this new madness passes, the way they learned to keep their heads down when all the other madnesses happened. And Richard Seymour will just have to ask someone, say Kirk Morrison, how to do this.

As for fans and independent observers, nothing changes at all. People who like the Raiders and hate people who don't will say this proves Cable is clean and those who suggested otherwise are inherently evil. People who don't like the Raiders, or like the Raiders but don't like Cable, will say he got away with a crime because the other guys in the room took one for him. People who don't like the Raiders or Cable will call Cable a loose cannon and blame The Al for hiring both of them. Nobody ever changes their minds, because the positions are too well staked out.

You know, like the song goes, "Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was. Same ... as it ... ever was."

In the meantime, the Jets are in town Sunday. Gary Lieberstein cannot comment on rumors that he thinks you should take the Raiders and the seven points.