Once Upon a Time -- in Wilmington, North Carolina -- there was an ACTUALSpofford Mills!!!

May 15, 2018

Dear Jon Deputy and Gold Walker,

I’m sorry recent days have been so full of tensions between us all – or at least between the two of you and me. And you might have come to expect this email if Robert, who stopped by Spofford Circle this morning, told you I told him I intend to write to you today.

When each of you met me, we got along FAMOUSLY – if Gold for much longer – and as Gold told me when she offered a place over here, “I still have feelings for you – I know you just try to help people and have made a lot of bad choices.” Well, I almost made MORE bad choices, but was prevented by circumstances – and NOW my family is reliably helping me, and my mother has had a COMPLETE change of heart about me and other things.

Perhaps funniest is that we seem in equilibrium in this building – I get along GREAT with Gray Hunter, and just as well with Kelsey Holmes and her lover Mary, but they don’t have as much time. I also get on FINE with Pete upstairs and his girlfriend, Allie – but GREAT with her, when Pete isn’t around. Rob, in apartment One, doesn’t seem to socialize with anyone else here – or even be SEEN by any of us in the other three apartments. So, whatever he and his roommate do, they don’t bother us – nor we, them.

Isn’t that the Spirit of what Jon wanted when he kept DEMANDING I talk to no one else in this building???

And I have NO REASON to believe Jon has ever sent emails like he sent to me to anyone else – and he STOPPED sending to me – so the ONLY reason to TRY the Charge would be if we can’t come to a reasonable settlement between us. If it were some crime he regularly dabbled in, I WOULD prosecute to protect OTHERS.

Also remember, that this all began in the pre-dawn hours of a Monday in December, when Pete and Allie hosted a bunch of underaged kids and they all got drunk as skunks, cussing and hollering in the yard and on the stairs – which one guy clutching a large glass bottle of beer or booze FELL DOWN, but was not harmed, falling into a few others of them, and he HELD the bottle throughout. I finally BLEW and came out (without my dentures in and in a KING KONG T-shirt and skivvies), hollering at them first at about 2:15 AM, and then later close to 4:00.

Don’t you BOTH wish you had been here to see how RIDICULOUS I must have looked (and sounded)???

In any case, I REFRAINED from calling the Police – they acted like they had every privilege to do anything – including calling THIS Old Fart person all manner of insults – and I saw that they were NOT going to drive that night and in fact began leaving mid-afternoon the next day.

And then everything got out of hand and I certainly am to blame for much of that – and for THAT, I am sorry.

The only problem in our “little drama” is that for some reason Jonathan Deputy committed me to “The Oaks” without any legitimate cause. Now, I made the best of it, but it ENTIRELY interrupted my life for ten days, I took crazy drugs like a TRAINED MONKEY while there, and NOW, they expect me to PAY what Medicare is not covering. I’m just guessing that is pushing two grand – and I just got three small add-ons in the mail yesterday from Rita Pellicciari (less than $100.00 extra).

Now, I have SENT Letters of Protest (physical ones), to all of those providers – as well as spoken with them on the phone – even asking that they just WRITE OFF some of the individual charges, they being so small – so the charges may well be reduced, but I’ve heard back from none of them yet.

I won’t pay them – and made that clear – and I care more about making my point – if it comes to that – than about my Credit Rating (which I can attach statements to explaining WHY I think Jon Deputy actually owes this money). Considering the overall charge before insurance of $20,000.00+, I think we should ALL Thank God I have Medicare, no???

And I also think that since neither of you have lost a tenant or had your income decreased by ANY of my actions or blogged words – you have NO REAL LOSS AT ALL (except, perhaps, a little worrying), so NO claims against me.

I have WORRIED MY BUTT OFF over what non-sense, false Police Lock-Up in the Nut-House (as Jon even threatened to do AGAIN after I got out), or Jail – or just a GOOD BEATING UP of me – like the Christian Drug Mafia of Mexico did to me five times.

My proposal is that the two of you decide how you handle your end of this – I not privy to who bears the most responsibility, but by BOTH your claims to me, Jon really does. YOU two decide on that, but while I will continue trying to get bills reduced or even dropped, that y’all pay for them – and I could take a check and pay them, accept cash (which is not really traceable), or you pay them directly.

And for what to me felt like a long period of Psychological Terror, I get three months of free rent – and then if all goes well, perhaps we will ALL be friendly again, I can remain living here until there is a REAL REASON for me to leave (past 12/1/2018).

Now, I can be flexible, and am open to other creative solutions. This will be LAUDED by Sheriff McMahon, D.A. Ben David, and really, ALL the District Court Judges (although for us to go to Court would be a REAL ZOO and PERFECT BLOG MATERIAL – which will REALLY jump my blog’s Readership)!!!

Also, I have no idea of Jon’s color sense, but JUST TODAY, Gray Hunter bought a brand new little Honda Coupe’ – that is the DEEPEST PURPLE I have ever seen on a car. The car is gorgeous, and the color looks BLACK in most light – and then that changes as your angle or the light does. Gold, you have GOT to see it!!!

One more thing: I have planted Moon Flower seeds meant to climb on the latticework of my deck – and up to Gray’s latticework as well. Gray said he’s grown them here like that and on the FRONT apartment’s porch as well. They are first cousin to the Morning Glories that Denise Wood grew up the back staircase last year – and die completely at first frost.

Anyway, I hope you will take this missive completely seriously, and get back to me BEFORE Friday, when I will begin pressuring the Deputies to serve Jonathan, if you have not. The choice is yours, and I’ll eat some CROW, publicly, if that helps at all – I just ask that it be COOKED.

>>> And just now, I stepped out for a smoke before proofing this, and Gray was there, so I told him all about this letter and he said it sounds PRETTY GOOD TO HIM – and I also told him I BRAGGED ON his new car and told Purple-Lady-Gold she HAD to come see it.

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Author's Note

A literary vent, a one-sided, free-wheeling discussion, everything posted on this blog is true. Don't mistake that to mean everything here is fact. Frequently, I paint with a broad brush, coloring things to a degree of my own choosing—for the sake of art.

My characters remind me of what Dr. J. Kennedy Schultz once said--and they insist I post it here:“When I say something about you, it may or may not be true about you, however, I always reveal something of myself.”

Judging from some of the comments people have made to me, I wish to remind them this works in BOTH directions.