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President’s New Jobs Plan Written by Daughter, Malia

By Jim Berlin

On Tuesday, shockingly just two weeks before Election Day, President Obama stepped up to a Florida microphone and proudly unveiled “A Plan for Jobs and Middle-Class Security.”

The Plan was a mere 20 pages long and included several blank pages with a heading at the top that read: “For comments, new ideas and doodling.” Reporters who received copies complained the ink was still wet, prompting the President to tell them, “Just wave it in the air a few times and it should be fine. If there are dry-cleaning issues, submit the bills to David Axelrod.”

What was not told to the press was the origin of the document, which as I said, comes shockingly just two weeks before Election Day.

“Funny story about that,” a source revealed. “A few nights ago the President went into his daughter Malia’s bedroom to kiss her good night. Well, he sees this typed report on her nightstand and asks her about it.”

According to the source, the following conversation ensued:

“It’s an essay for economic class, Dad. I just threw together all the stuff you talked about during the first campaign. I called it ‘A Plan for Jobs and Middle-Class Security.’”

“Catchy! Does it have my idea about hiring

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100,000 new math and science teachers and making rich people pay their fair share and building roads and bridges?”

“Oh, sure.”

“What about the shovel-ready jobs and getting 80 percent of our electricity from green energy?”

“Wind and solar, Pop – you bet. Damn that dirty coal, right?”

“Don’t cuss, Malia. Say, would you mind if I borrowed this? Maybe you could write something else for your class…”

“Dad, you always do this to me! Every time I come up with a good idea, you…”

“Hey, shush! You wanna keep this bedroom for another four years or not?”