The Lost Episode of Honey Boo Boo

The Author of this Story is DaveTheUseless. On his Twitter, DaveTheUseless admitted that he made a video out of this story in response to the Psychosis video getting fewer views than most new videos usually get, as a test to see whether subscribers preferred a 2+ minute 'sillypasta' video to 40+ minutes of more 'serious' narration. This story's video ended up receiving more than double the overnight views that the Psychosis video did.

So I was flipping through the channels and I landed on TLC and I was less than stellarly happy because Posh Spice didn't come on screen or Condom Eye Lady who I just now realized is dead (R.I.P.) I was told by my grandpappy that TLC means The Learning Channel or Bacon lettuce Tomato if you're watching in Russia. I like learning stuff (for example I know 2 + 2 = 22) so I continued watching the VHS tape, I mean TV show channel.

Honey Boo Boo is a Lie

The show, 'Honey Boo Boo goes to School' came on screen. The family of Honey Boo Boo was waving her goodbye to school and told her not to come home unless she was a doctor. I was bothered by how much pressure they put on their 6 year old daughter to succeed in school. I thought that was very creepy and is the reason I'm writing this but there's more. There was a note on the bus wheel.

'The Bus Driver Has Died. Signed, The Bus Driver.'

A picture of Honey Boo Boo.

Honey Boo Boo then exploded. Highly realistic gore flew everywhere. Her body was donated to science, which her family was very much into, so they were kind of happy actually. What was even worse was that the gore was honey-flavored and the doctors ate her. I threw up and continued watching the tape.

They held a funeral for Honey Boo Boo. Frequent Honey Boo Boo cast members, such as Dale and John Redcorn, were there. As Honey Boo Boo was lowered into the ground, I realized that her cartoon character design was hyperrealistic and a message was written on her face in Comic Sans font:

"This television program brought to you by the NSA. The NSA: we don't make the products you buy, but we did record Justin Bieber coming out of a brothel. Paul-Cruz 2016". - Yours Truly (A Spider.)

I turned off the tape, because I have a problem with spiders. Oh well. More Duck Dynasty for me.