Bedtime Stories

After the usual nightly struggle to get Archie and Lewis to bed – teeth brushing, wrestling into pyjamas, squealing, hollering, hiding, bounding on the bed, book reading, several toilet and drink breaks, a few fights – they are still so wound up and giggly and crazy that I decide to try something new to settle them. I bring out the IPOD and ask them to tell me a story which I will record as proof of their creative genius. I envision them entering a semi-meditative state to access the subconscious and deliver me two amazing stories before falling gently to their pillows for a deep, peaceful sleep. Here’s how it turned out. (Click on links to listen.)

Archie’s story

Plot: A baby dragon goes on a long, arduous search for his Mummy and Daddy. On this exciting, emotionally charged journey of self discovery he seeks counsel with a T-REX and an adult Dragon but it is only after going to a show and turning into a dinosaur that he can find his missing parents and, finally, himself.

Transcript:

Archie: One day a little dragon lost his Mummy and Daddy, so he looked and he fff…

Lewis: Dad…

Reservoir Dad : Shhh… Archie’s turn…

Archie: And he looked and he looked and he looked for his Mummy but he couldn’t find him so he, um, asked… ahh… T-Rex and he said, ‘Do you know where my Mummy is T-Rex?’ and the T-Rex said, ‘No.’ So he went looking again.

RD (pause): And then what happened?

Archie: And when he came to a dragon…

RD: Yeah…

Archie: Um, he said… ‘Do you know where my Mummy and Daddy are?’ And the dragon said, ‘Yes!’

RD: Where were they?

Lewis: (pointing to the IPOD): It stopped…

RD: Hang on… nah… it’s still going Lewis.

Archie: And the Dragon said, ‘They’re near the tree eating leaves.’

RD: Cool.

Archie: So the baby went to the trees and he ran and he ran and he ran because he… had to go to a show.

RD: Wasn’t he going to look for his Mum and Dad?

Archie: Yeah, his Mum and Dad have to pick him, um, have to, um, go to the show and give him… go to the show and drive him there.

RD: Ohhhh…. excellent. Is that the end?

Archie: And the baby dinosaur found his Mummy and Daddy after all. The End.

RD: Good work Arch.

Lewis’s Story

Plot: After eating a willy, the flippy dragon finds himself the target of a revenge-seeking bum.

Transcript:

RD: Okay, your turn Lewis.

Lewis: So when the draga… (laughing)

RD: (bloody mobile phone rings): Your turn… it’s your turn.

Lewis: When the dragon (laughing) ate a willy (laughing).

RD: Hey… hey try not to jump…

Lewis: And the bum ate him.

(Lewis and Archie laughing).

RD: (desperately): Nah, come on tell us a real story. You’re good at stories.

Lewis: Nah, and when the bum ate… (Archie and Lewis laughing). And when the bum ate, and when the bum ate…

RD: When the bum ate what?

Lewis: And when the bum ate and ate and ate THE FLIPPY DRAGON. (laughter)

RD: Okay, say the end.

Lewis: And The End pop-off.

RD: Good boy.

(Archie clapping)

Lewis: I want to listen to it.

The Archie/Lewis Combo Story

Plot and transcript – It’s beyond me. The first person to come up with a plot for this story and transcribe it will win a hand-crafted wooden Jigsaw puzzle donated by Melbourne’s The Carpenter and The Walrus.

About The Author

I fell into this blogging thing but now see it as that crucial cog in the machine. Blogging offers me a great creative outlet with an immediate audience. It freshens my perspective. Reliving my time with the boys, recording our last pregnancy and the birth of our fourth child and dancing around the intimate moments of my relationship with Reservoir Mum acts as a time capsule for my family, adds a little extra to my world, and reminds me of how good I’ve got it.

A hard day at the office becomes a learning experience in retrospect, a chance to colour the most difficult moments with a touch of the crazy, something to savour, something to reread later with the boys on my lap.