The Boyfriend List

After many rather disappointing dates and a couple of rough
breakups, I’ve made some decisions in my life regarding boys. At the moment,
I’m going to be sticking to dating myself, as I’m pretty fabulous, if I do say
so myself. But from here on out, all boys have to fit within certain standards
to even be considered as dateable. I have settled a few times and I’m tired of
it. I won’t settle for mediocre when I know I deserve way better. So here is
where I’m going to detail out the perfect guy. I don’t expect every guy to fit
every standard on here. But he has to score pretty high on this list to get a
date. There are a few that are a bit more important than others though.

The Mandatories:

1.Taller Than Me: It’s a very simple one, but I
just can’t date a guy who is shorter than me. It just seems weird. I’m not very
tall, so it’s not too tall of an order to fill (pun very much intended). I just
want to be able to wear a good pair of heels when I’m with him. I’m about 5’7,
so I’m looking for someone around 5’10. I’m happy with average height. Just
someone to get the cereal off the top shelf in the grocery store really.

2.Appreciation for Cowl Neck Sweaters: Okay it
sounds totally silly I know, but hear me out on this one. I love cowl neck
sweaters because they’re super warm, they almost come with a built in scarf,
they’re super cute, and great to layer. A guy who appreciates (and wears) cowl
neck sweaters has enough style to match my low key preppy. Now the thin ice
here is that he might be just too stylish for me and surpass my low key
preppy-ness. But I’ll cross that bridge if and when I get there.

3.Willingness to be First Gentleman: This one is a
two-parter, so here goes:

a.First of all, I’ve got big goals. I want to be
president one day. It might not happen. But I need someone in my life who is
going to encourage and support my dreams and what I want to do, regardless of
where it takes me. I also need him to know that my goals are just as valid as
his, and I generally won’t put set my life and future aside for his alone.

b.Second of all, I’m not dating for the heck of it any
more. I’m dating for the future. No I don’t expect to find my future husband
tomorrow, but it’s time I start looking at it seriously. I want the guys I’m
dating to have some husband potential. I’m graduating college in two and a half
years and I’ll be 21. I want to be married or at least engaged before I’m 24.
I’ve got 5 years to find my person, that doesn’t leave any time to waste with
nobody’s.

So the rest of the rules on the Boyfriend List are just very
important things to consider. Some are more important that others, in no
specific order.

1.Loves His Mother: The way a guy treats his
mother is a reflection of how he will treat you. Simple as that.

2.Republican: Not a mandatory thing, but it
certainly would make election years a lot easier.

3.Politically Aware: He doesn’t have to be as big
into politics as I am, but I do expect him to be aware and literate of what’s
going on in the political sphere.

4.Religious: I know, its weird coming from an
atheist like me, but I’d like a guy who’s a little bit religious. If he’s very
religious, it would be uncomfortable for the both of us. I just think a guy
raised with religion in his life usually (not always!) has a bit better morals
than others.

6.Literature Nerd: I like books. A lot. And he
better understand that I prefer my books to him. Not that he isn’t great and
all. But books. I also want to be able to converse and discuss books and what
we’re reading. Reading a book together is a whole new level of connecting and I
need that.

7.Likes Horses: He doesn’t have to love them. He
just has to like them enough to accept the fact that his new part time job
involves being a water boy and camera man at horse shows. Chances are, he’ll
get a horse at some point too. If he’s willing to learn to ride, even just a
little, it makes him perfect in my book.

8.A Little Bit Nerdy: I don’t want him to judge me
when I sit and babble on about theories for the next Avengers movie. I want to
be able to talk about the next season of Sherlock and when we’re leaving for
the midnight release of our favorite video game. I want to play Skyrim some
nights and Mario Kart on others. That being said, there is a very thin line
between being the low key nerd I am looking for, and then just taking it too
far. I have to proceed with caution.

9.Can Cook: Not a skill I have yet acquired. I
don’t need gourmet chef, but preferably better at cooking than me. The only
thing he has to be really good at is breakfast in bed, mainly eggs over medium
with an English muffin.

10.Good at Shoulder Massages: Now wait a minute,
before you go judging me on this one, I have a legitimate reason! With two bad
shoulders and a microtear in my muscles, my shoulders get super achy sometimes,
especially this time of year! I just need someone who can help a little bit on
that front.

11.Fit/Athletic: I want someone who’s in shape. I
don’t want someone who looks like a balloon animal because he’s so ripped. Not
a fan. That being said, I’m not a fan of the Dadbod either. I like somewhere in
between. Works out pretty regularly and eats generally healthy-ish, but still
looks like a normal person. That being said, I wouldn’t mind someone who can
keep up with me on long runs. I’m training for the 2016 Marine Corps Marathon,
and I want to keep running for the foreseeable future. While he doesn’t
necessarily have to be a marathon runner too, I would like a buddy for short or
easy run days. Plus, someone who’s willing to massage muscle knots out and
bring me post marathon ice cream is always good.

12.Has Goals: Another pretty self-explanatory one.
I want a guy who’s going somewhere in life. I don’t want someone who’s content
in a mediocre job making mediocre money. I want someone who is dedicated to his
life and making it better.

13.Inner Wanderlust: I have always wanted to
travel, and no one likes to travel alone. I want a travel partner, someone to
see the world with.

14.Understands Introversion: It doesn’t so much
matter if he’s an introvert, and extrovert, or an ambivert. As long as he
understands that sometimes I might need a few hours of quiet reading and
relaxation on my own, its fine by me.

15.Well Off: Now before you go off calling me
shallow for wanting to date someone who’s well off, let me start off by saying,
yes I am a little shallow. But I’m not dating this person for their money. And
I’m not looking to date a Rockefeller. I would just like someone who can afford
to splurge a little for nice dinners occasionally and someone who wouldn’t
think too much of spontaneous trips to the movies. I’m not asking for Mr.
Moneybags, just someone who’s not going to bring home the extra lettuce from my
dinner (yes it really happened and yes it was really weird).

16.College Degree: Either has to have or be working
towards a Bachelor’s degree at a minimum. And in a legitimate field, not like
underwater sand shifting or something uselessly obscure. I’m not asking for a
Ph.D candidate, but I won’t date someone who doesn’t see the value of a good
education.

17.No Silver Spoon Syndrome: I don’t necessarily
want to date someone who was raised with the silver spoon. I don’t think I
could connect with someone who was raised like that, as I never had that
experience in my childhood.

That's all I can think of for now, but I'm sure as I think about it I'll remember some more that I want to add. I ought to get back to my homework now, oops!