This poem has appeared in the Spring 2018 (Volume 19) issue of The Liar magazine.

This is my translation of 「快事主目錄」by 趙元任 [Yuen Ren Chao]. I am thankful to Dr. Derek Choy for his expertise in the finer points of the Chinese language.

Whosoever reckons and enumerates the patterning that proceeds from these elemental items of the "Primary Catalogue," shall know the true purport of beatitude and enchantment and must proceed to merge his understanding with the Order of Delectation.

Primary Catalogue of the Order of Delectation

Sunshine

Sun lamps

The intersection of the main thoroughfare with the second-oldest street

Any road of sufficient length

Long travels at night

Long travels far away from here

Streetlamps that shine bright

Streetlamps that shine yellow

A productive day at work

A counterproductive day at nothing

Words that fit together like beads on a wire

Words that don't fit together like brain tissue and cotton wool

Long walks on familiar paths

Long walks to nowhere

Music that speaks of sorrow

The absence of sound in this register

Kind, clean animals

Kind-looking stuffed animals

Total chaos and destruction

Excessive moisture pulled down by gravity to its inevitable conclusion