Contest: Pick al-Qaida’s New Name

Play Don Draper for a moment. What do you think about when you think about al-Qaida? The senseless slaughter of innocents, right? As it turned out, even Osama bin Laden thought his terrorist organization needed an image reboot.

The problem is that bin Laden sucks as a brand manager. One of his new handles for al-Qaida? “Monotheism and Jihad Group.” That was the original name of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi’s bloodthirsty al-Qaida franchise in Iraq that killed so many Muslims that Ayman Zawahiri begged Zarqawi to stop. When Zarqawi didn’t listen, he lost his Iraqi allies, got blown up by the United States, and his group snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. Not exactly a model for a new look.

Wired.com has offered PR advice to troubled companies before. But we think you can do better. So Draper up: Pour yourself an early Scotch, take an afternoon nap, start an inappropriate fixation on a co-worker and give al-Qaida a new name — something that says, “Now With 20 Percent Less Eschatological Violence.”

Oh, and if you have any hesitations about helping al-Qaida, consider this. If even bin Laden thought al-Qaida had an image problem, it’s seriously screwed.Show al-Qaida names that are: hot | new | top-rated or submit your own name

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