THANKS TO ALL WHO EMAILED ME (POSTING SOWING PROBLEM)

I want to Thank everyone who let me know that my poast were showing up and the words of encouragement.I have been too panicky to write today.I am LOST because my panic is related to real situations, DCF may take my sons baby girl because the mother has already lost a child before he met her and HER mother is CRAZY, she called DCF on them and now they are having to jump through hoops!!!My son is 34 and has wanted a baby for so long, she is 8 months old and he lives for her, he said if they take her, he will kill hisself and I believe he might!!! I am so scared about that!!!I also have been married to an Angel for 36 years, I feel I am a burden to him because if it is'nt one thing it's another to panic about.He had emergency surgery for a brain anuerysm 5 years ago and he is a a miracle according to the Dr. 80% never make it to the hospital, the other 20% have a kind of dissability such as, cannot see, can't talk etc... He has short term memory loss, no one that talks to him or sees him would ever know he is disabled. He cannot exert himself,lift over 10 lbs. etc... He also has diabetes, high blood pressure, 7 stents going to his heart, a stent in each kidney, etc.... Fri. the 6th of Aug. he had surgery for an abdominal Aortic anuuerysm, I am a BASKET CASE!!! I worry about him so much, I always say, if he goes, I go! I cannot live without him, he holds me together, I do not have any other support. He is such a positive and wonderful person, he always tells me, everything is going to be O.K.I think his attitude has kept him alive, on the other hand , sometimes he is not realistic.We are facing the possibility of eviction, we have no money to get out of this and I am afraid EVERYDAY, we are going to be homeless!We got toxic mold in our mobile home in Nov. and it cost us a fortune and we cannot get things caught up.Ibroke my right shoulder in March, which caused me to lose a lot of time at my p.t. job, I am still going to p.t.my 44 year old brother died suddenly in OCT.My brother-in-law died in a car accident in april, all of which caused me to lose work also.I only work 14 hours a week, but it helps. I also work at a school and we have all summer with no paycheck, OUCH!!!I also have many health issues, so I can only manage p.t. It takes too long to get S.S.D. and I cannot afford to quit and wait for it.We have went to EVERY charity this city has to offer, they all say, NO FUNDS AVALABLE!!! I AM AT MY WITS END!!! Sometimes my panic and stress is so bad, I shake, how am I going to work with children like this? it is the only job I can do. I have c3,c4 and c5 buldging disc in my neck, a torn rotator cuff in the left shoulder, artheritis EVERYWHERE, I also have diabetes but we go to a Govt. hospital and I cannot get an appt for 3 months to see the endo.It took 3 weeks to get an appt. with an Ortho after I broke my arm, it is absurd!!! This is a teaching hospital and you never know if they are going to cure you or kill you. I am SERIOUS, they told me I had uterine cancer and I was going to die if I did'nt have a complete hysto. When I went back to see what stage, grade etc... they said Oh! You are so lucky, you don't have cancer, you don't even have to go to oncology! They cut me from above my naval all the way down, they oded me on medication and collpsed thhe left lower lobe of my lung, had to call in a Pulmo. My wound opened 3 hours after I had the stitches removed and had to go to the E.R. i t was wide and deep, my husband had to pack it with medicated guaze every night for 103 days!It terrifies me to go there but that is the only place poor people can go.My husband has Medicare and he is able to see REAL DR.s, I do not have any health coverage so I have to see a "RESIDENT" so he can learn how to be a Dr. and graduate.Well I have to stop posting for now, my neck is on FIRE and my shoulders are hurting. Thanks for letting me vent.i do need to add that I have had severe deppr. for 28 of my 56 years, panick disorderwhitch i take xanex for (28 years) on and off antidepressants because of side effects.I am too scared to try another one right now and the xanex is only at night, I have to deal with the panic all day. The hospital we go to will not give me xanex, I have to see a private Dr. that I had for years when we had insurance and pay out of pocket. Thank You All, hopeless2013

I want to Thank everyone who let me know that my poast were showing up and the words of encouragement.I have been too panicky to write today.I am LOST because my panic is related to real situations, DCF may take my sons baby girl because the mother has already lost a child before he met her and HER mother is CRAZY, she called DCF on them and now they are having to jump through hoops!!!My son is 34 and has wanted a baby for so long, she is 8 months old and he lives for her, he said if they take her, he will kill hisself and I believe he might!!! I am so scared about that!!!I also have been married to an Angel for 36 years, I feel I am a burden to him because if it is'nt one thing it's another to panic about.He had emergency surgery for a brain anuerysm 5 years ago and he is a a miracle according to the Dr. 80% never make it to the hospital, the other 20% have a kind of dissability such as, cannot see, can't talk etc... He has short term memory loss, no one that talks to him or sees him would ever know he is disabled. He cannot exert himself,lift over 10 lbs. etc... He also has diabetes, high blood pressure, 7 stents going to his heart, a stent in each kidney, etc.... Fri. the 6th of Aug. he had surgery for an abdominal Aortic anuuerysm, I am a BASKET CASE!!! I worry about him so much, I always say, if he goes, I go! I cannot live without him, he holds me together, I do not have any other support. He is such a positive and wonderful person, he always tells me, everything is going to be O.K.I think his attitude has kept him alive, on the other hand , sometimes he is not realistic.We are facing the possibility of eviction, we have no money to get out of this and I am afraid EVERYDAY, we are going to be homeless!We got toxic mold in our mobile home in Nov. and it cost us a fortune and we cannot get things caught up.Ibroke my right shoulder in March, which caused me to lose a lot of time at my p.t. job, I am still going to p.t.my 44 year old brother died suddenly in OCT.My brother-in-law died in a car accident in april, all of which caused me to lose work also.I only work 14 hours a week, but it helps. I also work at a school and we have all summer with no paycheck, OUCH!!!I also have many health issues, so I can only manage p.t. It takes too long to get S.S.D. and I cannot afford to quit and wait for it.We have went to EVERY charity this city has to offer, they all say, NO FUNDS AVALABLE!!! I AM AT MY WITS END!!! Sometimes my panic and stress is so bad, I shake, how am I going to work with children like this? it is the only job I can do. I have c3,c4 and c5 buldging disc in my neck, a torn rotator cuff in the left shoulder, artheritis EVERYWHERE, I also have diabetes but we go to a Govt. hospital and I cannot get an appt for 3 months to see the endo.It took 3 weeks to get an appt. with an Ortho after I broke my arm, it is absurd!!! This is a teaching hospital and you never know if they are going to cure you or kill you. I am SERIOUS, they told me I had uterine cancer and I was going to die if I did'nt have a complete hysto. When I went back to see what stage, grade etc... they said Oh! You are so lucky, you don't have cancer, you don't even have to go to oncology! They cut me from above my naval all the way down, they oded me on medication and collpsed thhe left lower lobe of my lung, had to call in a Pulmo. My wound opened 3 hours after I had the stitches removed and had to go to the E.R. i t was wide and deep, my husband had to pack it with medicated guaze every night for 103 days!It terrifies me to go there but that is the only place poor people can go.My husband has Medicare and he is able to see REAL DR.s, I do not have any health coverage so I have to see a "RESIDENT" so he can learn how to be a Dr. and graduate.Well I have to stop posting for now, my neck is on FIRE and my shoulders are hurting. Thanks for letting me vent.i do need to add that I have had severe deppr. for 28 of my 56 years, panick disorderwhitch i take xanex for (28 years) on and off antidepressants because of side effects.I am too scared to try another one right now and the xanex is only at night, I have to deal with the panic all day. The hospital we go to will not give me xanex, I have to see a private Dr. that I had for years when we had insurance and pay out of pocket. Thank You All, hopeless2013

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