Trapped
Heel

Many years ago I was walking up
Bar Street in Scarborough one Saturday night. On the pedestrianized area I saw
a woman in boots suddenly stop and let out a mild yelp. She made light of it for
she was with a gaggle of friends but her closed eyes and pursed lips said,
“Just my luck.” She had to step out of the boot and give it a good pull to
release it. This scene has always stuck in my mind.

I also saw the astrologer Russell Grant walking up Bar Street but I’m
not a fan and didn’t request an autograph.

Look at those skinny pink flamingo’s legs; the woman is in need of pies
and pasties. They’re too scrawny like Kate Middleton’s - it’s a wonder they can
hold up the body above. I like red London buses and decided to put one in the
background.

As a man who never wears heels I never think about avoiding grids. When
I’m out walking the whippets we always avoid cattle grids. Snapping a heel in a
grid must be nuisance but snapping a leg must be excruciating.