Living and Learning through Loss

Tag: fertility blog

As I was brushing my teeth this morning and trying to decide which topic to write about this week I was thinking about the unique language my husband and I have developed over the past 21+ years together. Those nicknames we call each other, terms for random objects that nobody else would possibly understand and you should hear us talk to our fur babies. I will admit, I am most guilty of this and Kevin has had no choice but to find himself speaking oddly at times for the simple fact that he has been with me for so long. (smile). I am lucky as well that he can finish my sentences and understand what I am saying when I trail off before finishing or start in the middle of a story that I started in my head.

When we began talking about having a baby we somehow started referencing to babies as “Taters”. It was all about “let’s make a tater” and “I can’t wait to have a tater”. We are even that cheesy that I bought a baby potato head toy and glued a pacifier in its mouth to tell Kevin I was pregnant (2nd time around). I still have it stashed away with various baby paraphernalia.

So….. It is with humor that I find myself venturing into my first garden (ever) and of course I will be growing a variety of “taters”. At first I wasn’t going to mention gardening or other “off topic” things on this blog but it dawned on me that just about everything I do I mentally relate to infertility. It isn’t a choice but just my reality. I actually have found that this infertile journey has made me much more passionate about things like writing, making things (I sell various handmade items in my own Etsy shop) and now gardening.

This whole gardening concept I have found quite overwhelming. Recently, as I was overthinking it (my usual) I found myself fearing that this little garden wouldn’t be successful (thus the overthinking). I think I need to prove to myself that while I haven’t been successful in making a baby (tater) I can grown real taters (and all the other various vegetables I am planning on). So, I will probably post tidbits hear and there about how this whole garden is going. It has been rewarding watching some of my seedlings actually grow.

Now you know a little bit more about our quirky little family and stay tuned for how those taters turn out. Sorry for the shorter post this week but it is a gorgeous day out today so we are going to go play.

Hey there, Welcome to my little ol’ Blog. I assume if you have found me that you are here as a supportive friend or family member (thank you tribe) or you have found yourself affected by the TTC (Trying to Conceive) journey somehow. Perhaps you are still trying to conceive, have suffered through pregnancy or infant loss or you love someone who has or is on this journey and you want to help by understanding. Either way, Welcome to you!

After a lot of pondering and plenty of nudging from family and friends I am finally writing about my infertility journey. This process I hope will be a help to someone out there as much as it will be a therapeutic thing for myself. I find myself both excited and terrified to be writing a Blog but here I am.

I hope you find what you are looking for here or learn something new. My hope is that sharing my story and journey of infertility, multiple miscarriage and being a childless woman will help someone or perhaps several someones.

I am no wordsmith and if it weren’t for editing software I assure you this Blog would be one run on sentence. So, please know that my intention is to be real, to be honest, to be vulnerable and to be supportive.

I want this Blog to become a place where we can come together and share our insights, hope and those bitter moments too. This isn’t going to be a sugar coated. Fertility struggles are hard, emotional, isolating and painful. Will I have posts that are positive? Sure! But, there will be posts that may be dark, sarcastic, bitter and some may bring you to tears. Hopefully, some may make you laugh as well.

My goal for now is to post something at least once a week. This little post will be my start. I also need to learn how to build this website too so that gives me a little time but forces me to put this out there.

So, here we go!

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