Oksana: I Thought Mel Would Kill Me

Gibson's baby mama talks to People, but won't be on with Oprah after all

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Mel Gibson's baby mama told People that the "Braveheart" star had her fearing for her life, but she won't be telling that to Oprah.

"I thought he would kill me,” Oksana Grigorieva said in this week's People. She said Gibson often flew into jealous rages, talked about suicide and once brandished a gun in front of her.

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Grigorieva was all set to similarly dish from Winfrey's couch. But now that the bitter exes have hashed out a joint custody deal for their daughter Lucia, the judge overseeing the case has slapped a gag order on them. And that means Oksana and Oprah won't be chatting.

"The lawyers had to put a stop to [Oprah] because it is a violation of the judge's seal," a source told E! Online.

Gibson was ordered to pay $20K a month in child support, a fraction of the amount he reportedly agreed to fork over when they first split. Grigorieva balked at that deal, and then tapes of Gibson's unhinged rantings at her began appearing online, further poisoning any chance the two had of reaching a deal without a judge's order. She is now being investigated by L.A. authorities for allegedly extorting Gibson.

"I needed to document his threats," Grigorieva said of the taped calls, which she denies leaking.

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"I'm not angry at him," she says. "For the sake of Lucia, I really want him to be well. He has to have the courage to be responsible for what he's done."