I am a serial entrepreneur and professor turned venture capitalist. I led Computer Motion’s $110 million IPO and the $236 million sale of Expertcity (creator of GoToMyPC and GoToMeeting) to Citrix. I also contributed to CallWave’s IPO, sold a company I Co-founded to Coull and managed The Tearaways, a gifted power pop band. At Rincon Venture Partners, I am honored to work with some of the most talented startup operators on the planet.

Epic Fail: Worst Call With A Consultant - Ever

I recently suffered through the worst conversation with a consultant of my entire career.

The consultant was a rather hapless soul who was seeking my help networking within Santa Barbara’s startup community. Fortunately, this particular call was brief. In the fifteen minutes that we chatted, the caller made some shocking networking mistakes.

It started when a well-intentioned colleague introduced me to the caller via email, withoutfirstconfirming with me that the intro was welcomed. As described in Why Blind Intros Suck, it is more often than not a waste of everyone’s time: mine, the person making the introduction and the person being introduced.

Lesson: Always allow your contacts to opt out of a proposed introduction by first asking their consent.

Affinity? – Effective salespeople understand that establishing affinity at the outset of a conversation is extremely important. However, rather than ask me how I knew the person who introduced us, the caller launched into his consulting pitch. If he had asked, he would have learned that I had not spoken with our “mutual acquaintance” in over 10-years and I frankly was hoping the caller could shed some light as to why the long-lost acquaintance connected us.

Lesson: Similarities breed liking and liking leads to a desire to help. Seek similarities when making small talk.

Photo: Wikipedia

The Ask? – During our email exchange before our call, I had to ask the caller what he wanted. Ideally, he would have made this clear without me having to inquire as to his intentions. It turned out that he was seeking consulting projects at startups. If he had spent any time reading my blog, he would have learned that I am not a fan of consultants, especially at startups.

Lesson: Succinctly state what you want. It is acceptable to politely ask for something when you are networking. Busy people don’t have the time or patience to decode vague requests.

Research? – I do not expect everyone I speak with to be a fan of my humble blog. Thus, not knowing my position regarding startup consultants is understandable. However, I do expect someone looking for a favor to spend a few minutes exploring my background.

Despite the ease with which anyone can determine my investments and past operating roles, the caller asked me if I knew the CEO of RightScale. “Yes”, I replied, “I was a seed investor and an Advisor to the company.” I should have completed the sentence with, “as is clearly noted on LinkedIn.” He then asked me if I knew the Co-Founder of Expertcity (creator of GoToMyPC and GoToMeeting, acquired by Citrix). “Yes”, I replied, “we worked together for five years.” Again, this would have been clear to him if he has spent 30-seconds reviewing my bio.

The caller had apparently met both gentlemen recently, but had not connected the dots between them and me. An important aspect of effective networking is to understand how the person you are speaking with relates to other members of your network. Significant affinity can be created by drawing lines between yourself and friends of the person with whom you are networking. However, in order to draw such lines, you must first do a bit of homework.

Lesson: Understand how the other party is connected with your network. As noted above, significant affinity can be created by uncovering common friends and acquaintances. However, in order to make such connections, you must first do a bit of homework.

Proactive – Not only had the caller not done any research on me, it was clear he also had not properly canvassed Santa Barbara for potential prospects. Rather than ask for my opinion on particular companies, he wanted me to do his market research for him, asking, “What’s going on in Santa Barbara? Are there any companies I should contact?”

Lesson: Don’t make the other party do any heavy lifting. Suggest specific, potential referrals.

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Wow! That one was epic, John. Brings up painful memories of similar chats. I’m really glad you wrote this. (although the clueless are highly unlikely to read). My all time (un)favorite was the guy laid off of a VP position at local bank and called insisting he get “the next open 30 minutes on my schedule” to brainstorm with him how he would find a new job. I felt his pushiness was uncalled for, but because we served at a common association I agreed to give him an appointment a week away. He missed it. Then called AGAIN asking for the next available 30 minutes he could get. I declined. He sent his resume and I noted with irony that the greatest accomplishment on his resume was “increasing efficiency of communication between marketing and PR department by 90%”. Not a word about leads, customers or revenue gained. Meetings conducted and papers pushed. No wonder his position ended. He ended up out of work and snaring odd consulting jobs where he could get them for an entire two years. Why am I not surprised? Thanks for another great post.

Great article! I learned quite a bit from your explanation of the networking 101 techniques that anyone should use when properly talking with people they don’t really know. As a marketing agency for start ups here in Miami, i do see why some some founders and advisers have a skeptical position on consultants. Ultimately, not every start up (or business) needs consultants but it is great to be able to ask questions to someone who can see things from a different perspective. This article gave me great perspective, thank you! Richard (The Greenside Agency)

I was disappointed to find a complete lack of kindness here. Is this typical of the culture in the “Forbes community”? I hope not. It might be a good idea for all concerned to have someone else screen such requests for you; I recognize you probably don’t have a lot of time to offer the many people who contact you for advice and help. Maybe an assistant could be prepared with digital resources that could be shared with people who get screened out for you, with the objective of building a brand of kindness or compassion for you. Just my two cents.

I have to agree with Rosanna the lack of kindness and border line arrogance can be felt throughout the article and by both comments by 2 Forbes contributors People sometimes old or young might not know how to approach things properly or do it your way or might not meet your expectations- so if you are a thought leader or just as a human being take their hand to show them the way. Kindness goes a long way – “Emotional Intelligence” goes a longer way then looking down at people. If you didn’t mean to be unkind in your article – this is what was felt from it – I hope that it was just one of those “oops” moments for you. It just made me sad to read this. Read the humbleness in this article http://www.inc.com/jeff-haden/another-side-of-mark-cuban.html

Hello Sahar and Rosanna – I appreciate you giving me the benefit of the doubt here. I don’t think my tone was an ‘oops’ moment, but I do agree that my sarcastic / snarky approach here could be construed as unkind, which was not my intent.

In reality, I field dozens of emails a week from strangers seeking help. I try to limit the number of phone calls, as they typically take more of my time and I don’t think they necessarily result in more assistance on my part.

In this case, I took the time to do a call and I was frustrated by the consultant’s lack of preparation. I am actually a pretty modest, humble person, but everyone has their breaking point of frustration and mine was reached as a result of this unproductive interaction.

That said, I respect the way you and Rosanna reached out to me. All the best to both of you.

John Thank you for responding I always ask when in doubt and I am relieved to know that my assumption wasn’t what you meant – I guess it is also good that you kind of felt how others that do not know you might feel. I totally appreciate the way you handled it. I am a business advisor for small businesses at SBDC (SBA) in Los Angeles that is why it kind of touched me – All the best to you!

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