Tim Geithner Would Like To Like To Remind Wall Street's Banks Of A Little Something, But Particularly Goldman Sachs

And that something is simply this: YOU COULD'VE DIED LAST YEAR, AND YOU WOULD'VE IF IT WEREN'T FOR TG. He could've left you to die in fire, or on the side of the road, like dogs. The only reason you're here today is because he's a mensch. Got it? Got it real good? Now commit it to memory, bitches because the T. Geith does not appreciate having to repeat himself. HE HEARS YOU TELLING PEOPLE ONE MORE TIME-- ONE MORE!-- THAT YOU WOULD'VE SURVIVED LAST YEAR WITHOUT HIS HELP AND TG IS JUST GONNA SNAP.

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Taking aim at what he called "an era of irresponsibly high bonuses," Geithner said all banks -- even those that have repaid government aid -- need to restrain the amount they pay their leaders and tie compensation to long-term goals. The Treasury chief also disputed claims made by Goldman Chief Executive Officer Lloyd Blankfein that his firm would have survived last year's financial crisis without assistance from the federal government.

"The entire U.S. financial system and all the major firms in the country, and even small banks across the country, were at that moment at the middle of a classic run, a classic bank run," Geithner said. Of the big banks, "none of them would have survived a situation in which we had let that fire try to burn itself out," he added.

Make what you will of this somewhat bizarre story but our takeaway is that the Treasury Secretary's FIL would make a great party guest and/or Benihana tablemate. Food critic Albert Sonnenfeld, whose daughter, Carole, is wed to the country’s top money man, stunned strangers at Bar Boulud Thursday night when he claimed President Obama’s nomination of Dartmouth College president Dr. Jim Yong Kim to head the World Bank was part of a plan to allow Geithner to take over the Ivy League school’s top post...“That’s why Obama nominated [Kim] for the World Bank — so that there’d be an opening,” Sonnenfeld claimed to a dinner companion at the eatery’s communal table. Seated with five other couples he didn’t know, Sonnenfeld indiscreetly claimed Geithner has since changed his mind. “They offered him the presidency of Dartmouth. But now he doesn’t want it,” said the gabby granddad. “He wants something else...Sonnenfeld also let slip that Carole Geithner “can’t wait to get out” of DC because “she has to hold her nose and entertain all these Republicans.” Sonnenfeld added, according to the witness, “Some of them she actually liked, like Jim Bunning from Kentucky. But now he’s gone. Can you imagine having to entertain John Boehner and his wife, with his fake tan?” Geithner spokesman Anthony Coley told us, “Interesting theory about Dartmouth, but to paraphrase Kissinger: ‘It has the disadvantage of being made up.'" [NYP] *It's not actually clear if he was drinking. If this is how he is sans sauce, all the better.