Monday, June 19, 2006

training: day eighty

1 hour and 10 minute run, split into 9 minutes run / 1 minute walk intervals. I got up at four am, so i could squeeze in my run before work. tt was actually really nice out, for the first time in weeks. it was just perfect weather for a run. that made me happy.

training: random observations

adjust your fanny back before you go running, as it's impossible to do so while you are actually running. you won't realize how annoying it is to have it bounce until you've run about twenty minutes. then you will end up twisting and turning in a vain attempt to adjust the damn thing and NOT SEEING THE GIANT POTHOLE which will engulf your left foot in its entirety and damn near send you careening headfirst into a lightpole.

if you think you will be clever and wear the pack in the front, so it jounces less, make sure you zip it up, because it still jounces more than you think and your cell phone will fly out, hit the ground and land ahead of you so you almost step on it.

trailmix, while delicous, is not necessarily a good on-the-run food. Especially if your hands are sweaty and you are running downhill at a pretty good clip and the bag with which you are dealing is hermetically sealed. you will struggle with the bag and when you least expect it, the bag will violently split in two and cashews, raisins, chocolate chips will spray out in a lovely caloric arc. the sight of your breakfast scattered on the country road will nearly reduce you to tears. you will then briefly entertain actually pausing to scoop up the scattered trailmix, because you are that hungry. you will actually take this idea far enough that you will look around to see if there are any potential witnesses that you may have to kill, should they see you eating trailmix that's been laying on the ground. then, sensibly, you will decide that it's not worth it and teary-eyed, jog off, realizing that the crows will be getting a hell of a treat. you will then make a mental note to buy some cliff bars stat.

farting is not a form of jet propulsion and therefore will not make you go uphill any faster.

there's a reason why the lady at the Outdoor Recreation office suggested you buy the "drinking" lid adapters for your nifty Nalgene bottles. you had your reasons not to purchase them. as you try to drink while running downhill and you will find that half of your bottle of sports drink will slosh out, going all over your face, up your nose and down your shirt, thusly turning your morning run into a mobile freakshow/wet t-shirt contest. sports drinks also burn considerably when splashed into your eyes and this will make you cry. normally this is humiliating and inconvenient, but this time it served to wash some of the sticky sports drink off your face. you will of course, be despondent that half of your drink is now gone and you still have 45 minutes remaining in your run and you forgot to put some change in your hip pack, so all the vending machines full of delicous cool drinks openly mock you as you shuffle miserably past them. you will make a mental note to buy some drink adapters stat.

the loveliest neighborhoods have the stinkiest sewers. stinky enough to make your nose run. but you can't tell if you are sticky from snot or sticky from sports drink so it doesn't matter.

japanese moped drivers have an inferiority complex. therefore, they are quite aggressive and should they think you are taking up more than your alloted share of the SIDEWALK, they will run you off of it.