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Week of Thanksgiving Series: Odd Traditions

I promised you something I love about Thanksgiving, didn’t I. I guess you’ll have to be disappointed. There isn’t really anything I love about Thanksgiving. Except pie. But you can eat pie anytime.

So, I’ll tell you me very odd Thanksgiving tradition. This is a tradition I made up years ago. I am not sure why or how I thought of it. You’re holding your breath and sitting on the edge of your chair now, aren’t you?

Okay. here it is.

After I get up, I go downstairs are look at the food. Just look. I look at the turkey, the pie, the cranberry sauce, the stuffing, just look. I eat nothing (minus pie crumbs) until Thanksgiving dinner.

And then, at Thanksgiving dinner, I get all set to eat loads and then fall asleep. But, at the sight of the turkey and the stuffing and the asparagus, I totally lose me appetite. I’m not a vegetarian, I just lose my appetite.

Think about it, turkey is nowhere close to being delicious. It’s dry and it’s grainy and it’s bland.

And there’s stuffing. Stuffing is really just gross. Look, you put it in the turkey, like in tothe turkey’s …yeah. You get it. And then you cook it in there. I’m sorry, but that is really just disgusting.

I do like cranberry sauce, I don’t love it, but I like it. I like cranberries. I like them in muffins. And in scones. But who had the idea of crushing them up and cooking them till they popped and mixing them with sugar and water and a bit of acid? And then NOT LETTING THEM GELATINIZE????? Because, really, it’s quite fun to eat when it’s gelatinized.

Please. Who likes cranberry slush? I know what you’re thinking. What about the cranberry sauce you get in a can? This stuff:

Listen guys, you can make your own cranberry sauce do this. It’s really easy. And you can make it into any shape you want. Don’t believe me? How about you try it.

Anyway, back to my odd tradition. So, after losing me appetite and eating hardly anything at thanksgiving dinner, I wait until Thanksgiving dessert. And then I eat enough pie to keep me full for the whole day. I always have an extra piece when I think I’m full so I don’t have to eat a turkey sandwich for dinner.