Category Archive

Three days into the mega-dose and really nothing to report. No symptoms – no headaches though – YAY!!

The increased physical volume of Puregon is noticeable – it does take longer to inject and it stings which it never has before.

I find that as I take each of the different medications that I start to ‘tune in’ to the various side-effects of them. Because I like to know everything about everything I read all of the pamphlets and consult my own texts about the drugs – I’m not sure if it a kind of reverse-placebo effect – I know there could be side-effects so then I start to imagine I am getting them … I am a little bit worried about how I will be feeling by the end of this.

Acupuncture again today – the usual. He did some extra work on me to try to relieve the Synarel headaches – it has worked – I don’t have one now.

Had a blood test on Monday to confirm E2 (estradiol) level – the clinic are happy with anything under 200 – my result was 50. My system is suppressed – all good. This means that I now start the stimulation phase with the Puregon commencing tomorrow night. I have high hopes that the increased dose will really give my system a kick so that I can make a decent number of mature eggs. I have requested an extra blood test after dose 5 to check that my E2 is rising at a good rate. The only concern here is the increased symptoms – bloating, discomfort, pain etc… small price to pay I tell myself.

I still have the one lonely little frozen embryo – this new batch (thinking positive) will be from the same donor – I am glad about this as they will be ‘full’ siblings. The clinic have advised that I can keep using this donor until he reaches his quota of 10 families. If I get embryos to the frozen stage this time I will organise to store some of the sperm for future use. I only have to pay for the storage – not the actual sperm – until it is used. I do wonder about the donor – I hope me and my-maybe-baby get to meet him one day.

Weight loss is continuing – I will start to post regularly – it will hopefully keep me on track.

Life is rolling along. I had my last BCP last Thursday and having been sniffing the Synarel for about a week now – the headaches are blinding, especially in the morning. These should improve when I start injecting next week.

My dose of Puregon has been set at 350iu which I am happy about. This should hopefully see some better results than last time. I want a good number of nice, big, fat mature eggs – not too much to ask for.

Have been trying to do all of the right things – been seeing acu-guy fortnightly, dieting – have lost 1.2kg this week, no alcohol, and have cut right back on caffeine (might be contributing to headaches) and will stop that when I start injecting. Have organised for about 10 days off work before, during and after EPU and ET. Will try to relax.

My mood swings from excited and hopeful to just plain worried.

I have been reading too many blogs – too many sad stories…. I want a happy ending.

I am coping alright with the disappointment of the last few days. Have decided to jump straight back in with the next cycle. Have given myself the whole of this year to try to conceive and with that thought in mind, I have convinced myself that it is early days – I will be pregnant by Christmas!! This first round was a practice run and I now know what to expect – and it really wasn’t that bad – I would do it again, and again, and again – God, I hope I don’t have to though!!

Spoke with my clinic and everything is getting organised for the next cycle. Am back on the Pill from today and a new bottle of Synarel will arrive in the post shortly (oh joy, I really love the way that stuff makes me feel – NOT!). Will be starting that in about 2 weeks.

I asked the Judy at the clinic about my dose of Puregon (Follistim) – she thinks Dr H will increase me up to the highest dose – 400iui, what do other people take? I was on 225, and then increased to 275 on this past cycle with limited response. Various blood tests are scheculed and then the ultrasound on April 18. Egg pick up will be the following week.

I feel positive about being able to get straight back into another cycle. I feel like I am actually doing something. It is the waiting, waiting, waiting that kills me. Have begun exercising and will start trying to knock off a few kilos. Will add some massage into the mix this cycle, in addition to the acupuncture (it doesn’t make me feel any different, but the research tells me it is absolutely worth continuing).

My hopes for a baby in 2008 are gone now, early 2009 will be just great thanks. Just need to get my body to co-operate now.

Had the E2 blood test today (the one that I had insisted upon). It was only 355 after 5 days on Puregon. This is obviously not what it should be as they have now increased my dosage from 225IUI to 275IUI. What is normal? What doses do others take?

What should the estrogen level be? I recall my doctor saying something about wanting it in the thousands before EPU. I was hoping for EPU on Monday 25 Feb, they will be in my town doing EPU on M, T & W. IVF nurse said it should double daily… they will do another test on Friday and an ultrasound. I am now really worried that there might not be any follicles to scan.

It has been 18 days on the Synarel – hellish. The headaches come and go but the hot flushes are there daily – several times daily. I work in an operating theatre which is chilled to 18C and I still sweat. I get so hot that I think I’m going to faint. Only 4-5 more days to go.

I will have my 5th shot of Puregon tonight – dosage 225 IUI – God I hope it is enough!! Had a blood test last week for my estrogen level – it was 41, the Synarel has done the job. Apparently anything under 200 was a good thing. When I did my IUI – my E2 level was only 75 without the Synarel. Old, old, aging ovaries…..

Will be having a blood test in the morning (that I insisted on) to make sure that the Puregon is working. The IVF clinic wasn’t too worried but I insisted as I want to have enough time to increase the dose (if it isn’t raising the E2 fast enough).

On track for ultrasound on Friday, and hopefully, EPU and ET next week. The ever present worry is still with me. I pick over in my mind all of the steps that have to go right.

I am continuing with regular acupuncture and trying to stay positive. I even had a bikini wax in anticipation of next week, that’s kind of positive, isn’t it?? 😉

I am hoping for big things. Have a scan booked for Monday BUT Dr H doesn’t want to see me unless these levels improve – to see how many follicles I have. I am hoping for 3 nice big ones. I need to have 3 for optimal chance of pregnancy. The DI won’t go ahead if there are too many eggs. Three eggs is just right (high chance of twins – Oh, My, God!!!), but any more and the risk of higher multiple-births is way too high. It is a tightrope walk, a balancing act.

Because this is the first time they are taking a very cautious approach with drugs, I just hope that these drugs work as the IVF company that Dr H works with won’t be in my town again until February. I may have to go to them in January if this doesn’t work for another round of DIUI (donor intra-uterine insemination). If that was to fail IVF would be the next step, I hope it doesn’t come to that.

Well…… I have had an absolute shit of a day. Finally got on to Dr H, who wasn’t sure why I was calling (IVF nurse had told me to!!!).

Yes. He did have my blood results.

Him: “NO. You don’t seem to be responding, increase your dose”

Me: “So what is my oestrogen level?”

Him: “75, I would like it to be higher”

Me: “Oh, really. What should it be?”

Him: “I’d like to see it at about 1000”

FUCKING WHAT???

Me: “What is wrong with me? Is there something wrong with me? Why? What? Huh?”

Him: “It’s just your age”

End of phone call. Many tears…..

I have old, wrinkled ovaries, maybe they can’t make eggs. I feel gutted. I am having fertility treatment because I don’t have a man. I had never considered – not in my heart – that there really might be a problem.

Dr H told me at my first appointment that IVF was an option if there were difficulties…..

Will increase the dose of Puregon tonight, next blood test on Thursday. Hopefully I’m just a late bloomer.

I have always said that if – when the time came – I was still single, that I would have a baby by myself. I never defined when that time would be, but I seem to have finally gotten there. I was never sure how I was going to make it happen.

I turned 36 in August and it feels like time is running out. There is no Mr-Right, or Mr-Right-Now on the scene. I don’t feel that I have the time to invest in finding a man, investing in the relationship, seeing how it goes, and then finally (maybe) committing to start a family.

I don’t feel 36, in my head it feels like about 25…..

A close friend and her partner have been having trouble conceiving, they are on their 4th or 5th round of fertility treatment. Combined with my recent birthday, the biological clock has gone into overdrive. If I don’t start trying, it might never happen.

As I write this my eggs are aging, I hope that I can do this.

Had an appointment in September with Dr H, he thinks I should try donor insemination first. His nurse says that the chances of success are very slim – maybe 15%.

He has started me on a contraceptive (ironic??) and on Thursday 15 November I start injecting myself with Puregon (follicle stimulating hormone).