Today was the funeral. It was pretty hard and was even more heart wrenching to see mom cry. He will be missed.

On a more positive note, he worked for a telephone company and all of his old buddies and current buddies (we are talking cities ~50miles apart) got together and they led the funeral procession with their trucks. It really was a neat thing to see.

I believe I lost my mother around the same age as you are now, she was around the same ago as your father. Feel free to drop me a pm if you want to chat with someone who has been through nearly the same thing you are going through now.

Don't know who said it (Jones maybe) but time really does heal all wounds, especially with respect to the loss of a parent.

My condoleances. Knowing that we all have to go someday, 50 is still much too early. I hope you have someone close to you to talk about it with.
I mean, we will always be here, but we're no surrogate to 3-D people.

Jesus loves you [yes, you] so much, he even died for you so that you will not need to die, but live forever

I am facing the imminent demise of my last ancestor this year. My mom. My dad passed away 32 years ago when I was 15 at age 46. I was the oldest too.

Nothing I could say would slake your grief. I do know you'll find the best parts of your fallen loved ones in yourself. It isn't consolation. It is fulfillment, in a way, that we find the best parts of ourselves in each other,

Your dad did raise a good son. It's one of the better legacies a man could have.

My deepest sympathy to you and yours for your loss. I hope you find a little comfort in whatever spirituality or intellect you might have. I pause to convey those wishes by my custom.

Damn Tucker, I'm sorry not only for your loss but that I'm just now seeing this thread. You know I care for a certain few people on these forums and you're one of them. For that reason, I'm more prone to tears for you. If I can do anything besides the gratuitous "sorry" message, please don't hesitate.
I'm close to your dad's age and have been concerned with my own mortality lately and have alot of work to do this winter to try to gain some minutes, if not hours in my life.
Always cherish the people around you because time is always ticking.

Thanks CHev & Watadoo. Not much anyone can do...the shock pretty much as worn off but mom is still quite upset with everything still. It's a very hard thing to go through and I would never ever wish this on anyone.

If any of you are reading this with parents left, please call them or visit them and tell them you love them. That's all I can really ask of anyone. There was so many chances I could have said it to my dad or talked to him...but often I let my own work get in the way and now I can't say it.

Now that the shock is tapering off, you're going to have to figure out how to regroup and keep your family going. It sounds to me like your mother will need a strong support system, and you're likely the most capable person to provide that, both in who you are to her and what you do to recruit others to help.

When my dad was 50, I was 8 years old. I couldn't imagine having to lose him at that time, but I can say that my life would have been a lot harder without him. I hope you and your family can work together to heal and carry on.

Some time when things cool down, it would would be interesting to see some kind of tribute, a celebration of what he did while he was alive, even the little things, as sometimes that's what counts most. That helps.

This might also help, give it a read when you have some free time:

It's not easy to lose the ones we love
Unbearable it seems, just the thought of the time to come apart
Be encouraged, strong, virtuous
Hold your head up
For the time you both shared will always have a special place in your heart

Be encouraged again
It will soon be time to let go,
Not forget;
Just to let go
The non-living are asleep
They have no will to, nor can they hurt the living
They place no blame on their passing
The time that has come, has come.
Celebrate the life passed with tears,
Followed by a gentle smile

The rose is a beautiful flower
Though in time its petals may wither and fall away,
Nothing changes the fact that it was beautiful,
And its beauty touched all who admired it.

please, please, please do not distribute this text beyond this thread - I don't ever want it to be used for distribution or sale of any kind; it's sole purpose is to help those in need