Mr Kelvi is unemployed which is totally stressing me out.Trying not to eat emotionally but boy o boy it's hard.Bought lots of fruit today so that will help.Meat is stocked up so no excuse for crappy dinners.

Won't be on here for a while, but I am lurking and checking up to see how everyone is going.Please direct a kind thought to us for him to get a job asap.

Best of luck to Mr. Kelvi! I'm sure something will come up soon. The good news for you is that a lot of places are looking for retail staff over Christmas, so maybe he could at least find some casual work over the holiday season until something more permanent comes up?

Well I am back.I am just trying to drink a protein shake before the gym tonight that Mr Kelvinator has given me. I'm not sold yet, tastes a little strange.

For those of you wanting a structure programme, you might be interested in one that I just printed off. I'm not sure if I will use it yet but I am going to have a read through and jot down anything that comes at me from it.

I got it from www.scivation.com. You go to the tab with Team Scivation and put your details in on the right. The programme tells you what to eat and how to move. It is quite involved so might not be suitable for some, but worth a look.

I will update with you how I go with the protein shake, gym and the programme.

Gym was good, Bodypump was a very good class. I enjoyed it and the 60minutes went very fast. Some people say on the Les Mills forums that it burns about 400 calories so I am happy with going off that for a while. Today's deficit was 1000 calories approximately, which I know sounds like a lot but it's the first day of really really doing it....

Hey Kelvi, just thought i'd pop in and say hi I just read through this thread and it has really given me motivation and made me feel like I am not the only one feeling the way I do coming back after falling off the wagon!

Hope u are well and my fingers are crossed that Mr Kelvi finds work very soon

Thanks everyone,it's so hard not to get despondent. I haven't even told people at work because it's too stressful talking about it. I am keeping a positive face on at home though, I guess I believe that you might as well be positive because being negative about it won't change anything and makes you feel worse.

Okay, so yesterday I had a 1000 cal deficit, today was 880. I did a Powerhour class tonight which I enjoy a lot. Lots of running and skipping which are my downfalls. I tried not to realise that I was the most overweight person in the group and that my face looked like a beetroot but anyhooo... next time I will try to just do a little more and keep pushing myself.

Something that's really bugging me though is the trainers giving me compliments. Last night we were doing weights and I know that my technique is good because it's something that I used to work on quite a bit, no shoulders up, good posture etc. The trainer was like 'oh Kelly, you're great, your technique is perfect!" Then tonight with boxing ''so you've obviously done a heap of boxing before, I can tell by the way you are punching" I just wanted to crawl into my shell both times. I don't need to be told that I am good, I need someone to say, 'you are still fat and two classes ain't gonna change that, you turning up next week flubber?"

I just don't know, I know they are being nice. I don't want to be nice to myself anymore. I had to imagine my fitter self in the spin section tonight, it was torture on my thighs after squats and lunges yesterday...

Hope everyone is doing well. I have a thread happening on twitter... I've tried the blogging before and it didn't work. Add me, i'm dwindlingawayKelvinator

We had a birthday morning tea here at work today, managed to avoid most goodies apart from some guacamole on 3 corn chips and a kingston biscuit. Gosh, compared to what I used to eat at those things, I did rather well.

Hey kelvi, great job with all the exercise! Have you ever tried a bikram yoga class? I don't particularly enjoy it (or any yoga for that matter)... but it is a very good workout, - sooooo much sweating... and I feel like it's one of those things that will "keep your body guessing" if you do it now and then. Hmmm actually I should do one again soon. I think it's really good you're tinking about your mental approach as well as what you're actually doing re: eating... Keep it up!

Thank you! No, I've not done any other yoga than this one class and it was an eye-opener. Of course, my sister was over tonight and had to show her the poses and she could do all of them.... grrr to that.

Today, I won! I won because I was aiming to get in a 5:30 class at the gym but ended up still being at work at 5:30, so I took myself off to the gym anyway and did my own cardio and weights circuit. I was really tired from beginning exercising this week but I at least did 40mins and felt good just for getting there and not letting an excuse get in the way... go me!

Eating has been good, just about to add up calories for today.Hope all is well in everyones lives,Love Kelvi

Weigh in day today!I have no idea how heavy I was, so I am guessing 76kg, although it could be heavier considering some days I was consuming over 4000 cals.This week I am down to 74.3kg, I never want to see 75 ever ever again. Ever.

Keys to this week have been:1. Eating 1000-1200 cals each day, with a deficit of about 4200cals for the week.2. Exercising 5 days this week, 2 gym classes, 1 yoga, 1 gym by myself and a long walk Saturday morning.3. Avoiding temptation and sticking to small skinny latte's rather than my old white chocolate mochas in the biggest cup out!

Hope everyone else is doing well and seeing results. The main thing that I have noticed this week has been improved posture and a small stomach.