just some thoughts about what it is to grow closer to God while still being in this world

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Thursday, December 22, 2016

Problems with Presumption

The Lord has put on my heart the word PATIENCE about a fairly serious thing in my life. It's been a crazy hard word for me, as so many things are hinging on this matter. I, of course, have a view for what that looks like, and because of that have unknowingly hindered the Lord.

As I plan, the Lord laughs.

In quiet contemplation one day, the Lord highlighted Luke 22:49-51.

And when those who were around him saw what would follow, they said, "Lord, shall we strike with the sword?" And one of them struck the servant of the high priest and cut off his right ear. But Jesus said, "No more of this!" And he touched his ear and healed him.As I read the passage, I saw that Jesus's disciples looked to Him for wisdom before deciding what to do. Although one took it upon himself to act of Jesus's behalf before looking to Him for wisdom. Jesus strongly rebuked that disciple. The Lord put on my heart that I am not to be operating out of common sense, but wisdom. He told me to never presume to know how to act on Christ's behalf. That explanation made perfect sense, but I had not even the slightest inkling how that applied to me. I was so confused. For weeks. I sought wisdom, and found none. I had some well meaning church folk give me some great insight into the verse, but nothing that made my spirit come alive like I knew would happen when I got what He wanted me to from it.Finally, today, He downloaded into my heart how this scripture applied to me.

It's only relatively recently that I am learning how to let go of the place that I'm comfortable with and have seen faithful and sturdy to weather the storms in my life, and allowing a different place built on the same rock to help bring my family into the refuge that we need. It's one that I've fought, and fought, and fought because *I* didn't think it was best. I knew WHAT the Lord wanted to do, but I had presumed HOW He wanted to do it. That was my mistake.

Sometimes the Lord likes to do the exact opposite of what common sense may say, and with the foolish confound the wise. In hindsight, I'm sorrowful at how I opposed with Lord's work with the best of intentions because I thought I knew what He was doing. He's done so much in me that I had just assumed that those same things that helped me would also do so much more for my family. It's an innocent and easily made mistake, but one that has caused stagnation more than what was necessary.

So, on that note, let the fire fall, let the wind blow, and let Your glory come down Lord. Where you go, I'll go, even if I don't want to =) I have no doubt that their will be plenty of winds of change to come, sweet refreshing breezes amongst the testing and hard winds, and each one will fan the flame of love in our hearts which will continue to transform us.

Rejoice in ALL things, letting patience perfect you, that you may be found lacking nothing. Yes and Amen.

Sorry for anyone who is super confused! I hope to update with much more clarity at a later date ;)

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About Me

I'm a SAHM of 4 boys, 1 girl, and two angels. I've been with my husband for 18 yrs and have been blessed immeasurably by him choosing to be with me and support me in my endeavors.
I was an atheist for many years, but the Lord just wouldn't leave my hard heart alone so I came to believe in Him. I stayed a lukewarm Christian for some time, and then the last ten years have really felt a deeper connection and calling to being a follower of Jesus Christ.
My life has been changing by leaps and bounds, and it's brought new life to my marriage, my day to day interactions, and my personal successes sprinkled with failures.
The Lord's GRACE is the key to everything. Jesus is my standard, and by grace through faith not only am I saved, but I can also lead the life He told me to. My days are spent seeking His humility, obedience to our Father, and letting His perfect love have its way in my heart.