I pray I won't wake up

I am 54, obese woman who goes to bed at night hoping I won't wake up. I think about killing myself all the time but have a family and wouldn't want them to suffer. I have been depressed for as long as I can remember. I have been in therapy for the majority of my life and have tried most anti depressants with no success. My youngest son has stolen most of my deceasts mothers cherished jewelry and it has broken my already broken heart. When I was younger I felt there was hope that things would change and I would overcome my depression. I now know that some people are too damaged to change. I have spent my whole life feeling bad and the idea of having to spend the rest of my life like this is unbearable and yet that is my fate... Unless I die in my sleep!

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