1.Pop Tarts.

These things are pure sugar on top of artificial flavored bread. They freaking melt!

So next time you're contemplating suicide. Still don't eat these it is a slow painful death in which you will slowly blow up 'till your bigger than your couch and you'll be forced to stand for the next 5 minutes which are the rest of your miserable life. Just thinking of this should make you feel good about yourself.