Full Speed Ahead: 5 Craziest Crimes of the Week

(Newser)
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An unforgettable day at the Alamo and a trapped burglary suspect are among the weirdest crime stories of the week:

Guy Clocked Driving at 112mph Has the Worst Timing: A Vermont state trooper pulled over a 33-year-old Connecticut man driving 112mph and weaving in and out of traffic on the interstate (speed limit: 65mph). His speeding isn't really the story, though—where he was heading is.

Couple Catches Burglar While They're 2K Miles Away: A couple with one home in Ontario, Canada, and one in Fort Myers Beach, Fla., were at the Canada home when they noticed someone breaking in ... to the Florida home, 2,300 miles away. They were checking out the home via webcam when they saw a strange man inside. He was gone by the time deputies arrived, but that's not the end of the story.

Clerk Arrested for Assaulting Robot: A drunk guy in a SoftBank cellphone store in Japan was unhappy with a clerk's attitude and apparently didn't want to take it out on a human. So he kicked a robot instead, he admitted to cops. Not just any robot, but a 4-foot-high "humanoid" robot. But what was the robot doing there—and how did it maybe see the attack coming?

Desperate Burglar Caught in Elevator Has to Make Awkward Phone Call: A Delaware teen may have taken "back to school" a little too literally. Cops say Michael Claude, 19, broke into Laurel Middle School and told them he took a joyride through the halls on a buffing machine, then jumped into an elevator to continue his adventure. But what happened next forced him to make a phone call he likely didn't want to make.

This Guy Probably Won't Forget the Alamo for a Long Time: Mainly because he's being accused of damaging it with his car key by carving his name into one of its walls. Police say 22-year-old Julio Perez tried to etch his name into the 250-year-old limestone in the Monks' Burial Room, creating a 3-by-1-inch gash in the recently designated World Heritage site. The estimated cost of the damage is mind-blowing.