sally: a journey, a venture, an expression of feeling, an outburst, an attack, a wisecrack ... me

Monday, February 07, 2005

Who Would You Marry?

"A good marriage winds up as a meeting of minds, which had better be pretty good to start with." Henry Louis MenckenA far superior blogger, SO worth reading, Swami Uptown, posed this hypothetical, "If you were a woman, and you had only two choices to be your lawfully wedded husband (and you HAD to choose one)...would it be George W. Bush or Bill Clinton?"

My response: Is this a trick question? Or rather, let's approach it another way: remove the names and just examine the men. Most modern women I know, if asked to list the attributes they look for in a man, would say Intelligence, Sense of Humor, Character, Integrity, Sensitivity, Sex Appeal, Ambition, Kindness, High Self Esteem, (throw in Good Father for some) and Fidelity.. in pretty much that order. Really.

So we have one man who's far from the sharpest knife in the drawer, grew up showing marginal interest in college or the world around him, is humorless, devoid of empathy, gives no appearance of understanding anyone remotely unlike himself, gravitates to, applauds and rewards morally bankrupt people, is a former alcoholic and drug addict who got through life on a pass, arguably by cheating and/or with Mommy and Daddy's help. He derives artificial inner strength not through self reflection and self confidence but through blind religious faith and the pseudo support of sycophants. He's a world class liar and self-denier who uses his own outrageous version of God's will to justify heinous behavior. Who would want to know this man, much less marry him?

On the other hand, there's a Really Smart, Ambitious, Witty, Engaged, Involved, Empathetic, Motivated, Determined, Self-Made man who learned many tough life lessons the hard way and succeeded in spite of them, far beyond any logical predictions. He thinks globally, not parochially, is genuinely color-and-ethnic-blind, seeks the best and the brightest to support his lofty goals, attacks his responsibilities with vigor, enthusiasm and idealism... and oh, by the way, responds to the rush of Power not with drugs or booze but with sex. Does he lie to try to get away with it? Get real, of course he does. Character flaws, you say? Catch 22: there'd be no such flaws if he didn't have character in the first place. Is he sometimes a Bad Boy? Oh yeah. And do women love Bad Boys, especially the smart, powerful ones who challenge, encourage and excite them? Damn straight.