My friend would have been 15 weeks today, but yesterday she had spotting and cramping. Ultrasound showed no heartbeat and she went right in for a d&c.
I've never been through this... but I know many mamas here have...

Are there any books that I could recommend for her to read that might help her through?

Also, this is the second time this has happened to her this year (12 week loss back in Feb)... they have 4 healthy children and will not be having anymore.

myblessedbaby

09-26-2012 09:00 PM

Re: What books can you recommend for mental healing after mc/d&c?

Heaven is For Real, isn't necessarily about pregnancy loss, but it has that element in it and it was very touching for me to read.

kricket24

09-27-2012 12:19 PM

Re: What books can you recommend for mental healing after mc/d&c?

Everyone goes through the grieving process differently but for me, I just didn't want my babies to be forgotten about. I still cry when I think about the possibility of only my DH and I remembering we have angel babies. I just feel so strongly that they deserve to be remembered and recognized. If she's like that, offering to take her to dinner or out for coffee on her upcoming due dates or even just calling and saying you're thinking of her would mean the world. More than anything, after losing my twins, I just wanted people to acknowledge they existed. I didn't want to rush to "get over it" I wanted to cherish their lives for what they were, far to short but still very, very valid and important to me. My suggestions would be a sweet card letting her know you'll be there for her on her upcoming due dates and for the babies' angel-versaries and maybe a gift card for coffee or a small bouquet of flowers. Regardless of what you do, you're a super sweet friend for wanting to reach out and do something nice for her and I'm sure she'll be touched and very appreciative! :goodvibes:

Heaven is For Real, isn't necessarily about pregnancy loss, but it has that element in it and it was very touching for me to read.

yes this was a very good book...and a quick read. I read it in a day.

And it helped me know that my babies are up there waiting for me. :hugs:

amcess721

09-27-2012 07:36 PM

Re: What books can you recommend for mental healing after mc/d&c?

Thanks for the input mamas.
I wish I was closer to her - but we're 2 hours away, so a coffee date won't work out.
Also don't know how comforting it'd be for her to see me in person as my belly will be a visible reminder of her loss... since we were just 1 week apart :cry:
I had another friend who had a baby boy a 21 weeks - I got her a willowtree figure - the one of the little boy holding the "hope" balloon - gave it to her on his due date. Maybe I'll do something like that for her...

myblessedbaby

09-27-2012 07:58 PM

Re: What books can you recommend for mental healing after mc/d&c?

I have that hope balloon boy figure. My MIL gave it to me while I was going through infertility struggles. When I recently went through a D & C, I was looking at this mama/baby one , just wish it had angels wings on the mama type figure. Like an angle holding my baby.

MamaJax2010

10-08-2012 08:28 PM

I will carry you by Angie Smith. I just finished it and it has changed my life. Lol!

This book is wonderful, it is a Christian devotional and was incredibly helpful to me. We lost our DD at 25 weeks to an umbilical cord accident. Empty Cradle, Broken Heart was also good... And i will second I Will Carry You. :)