I don’t
usually get so enthused about anthology specials (even though I buy them all
the time), but this comic is a gem from start to finish. Sure, not every yarn
is a goal, but every tale is thought-provoking and several are pure gems. A
star-studded cast of creators including Matt Kindt, Jeff Lemire, Gail Simone,
Simon Spurrier and Dan Abnett easily make this my favourite comic so far for
the year.

FCBD:
Buck Rogers In The 25th Century (Hermes Press, 2013) *****

Writer:
Phillip Nowlan/Artist: Richard Calkins

Some
fantastic full-colour reprints, an overview on the Buck Rogers phenomenon of
the 20s and 30s, plus some nice pics of Buck Rogers memorabilia. What more
could you ask for in a free comic?

NOTE: I’ve learned in recent days that the guy who
runs Hermes Press is a total scumbag who doesn’t pay his writers and threatens
to sue people when they point this fact out. He even physically threatens folk.
Total jerk.

Adult
comics doesn’t have to mean bare boobs and bums. Sometimes a mature title can
be a perverse, dread-filled horror yarn like this classic manga. This is the
concluding volume detailing a spiral curse that descends on a Japanese village,
eventually destroying everyone caught in its evil web. Humans metamorphosing
into snails (and worse), cannibalism, murder, insanity and worse are on
display, making so-called modern horror yarns like all those Crossed sequels
look piss-weak by comparison. Nothing is more disturbing, yet compelling, as
Uzumaki.

WORST:

THERE were a few shockers in 2013, but the
biggest shock came with Vertigo’s The
Exterminators. This was a rare instance when I started out really liking a
title but by the end I really hated it, mainly ’cos the climax was weak and
rushed, and totally destroyed every good thing that had come before it. There
was a massive drop in quality over the final 12 issues, which left a really
sour taste in my mouth. Still, it didn’t quite make my shit list, but here are the
few that did...

The
Bionic Woman #2 (Charlton, 1978)
-*

Writer/artist:
unknown

A
horrible TV tie-in series that makes me want to smash my head repeatedly on a
teevee set. Perfunctory plotting, dull art and a nasty edge of misogyny winding
its way through the entire odious issue. I can’t even bring myself to keep this
comic for camp purposes.

Doc
Savage #1-12 (DC, 2010-11)
½*

Writers/artists:
various

If
there was ever an example of everything that could go wrong with a licensed
comic, then this is it. I bought the first 12 issues of this awful series (it
limped on to #17 before being mercifully axed), but I’ve only finally got
around to reading it. Clearly, my sixth sense was telling me something three
years ago. This updating of the Doc Savage mythology fails on every level. The
first four issues is poorly written by supposed modern pulp writer Paul
Malmont, positioning Savage and his crew as victims fleeing the US after being
framed by a sinister cabal for crimes they didn’t commit. Malmont is a terrible
writer, but he’s not helped by Howard Porter, one of the most inept artists
ever to be given a major title to work on. Porter’s so shit he can’t even draw
hats properly. Seriously, a five-year-old could draw a hat better than this
dipstick. Issue five is a standalone yarn set in Greece. Writer B. Clay Moore
is better than Malmont, but that’s faint praise. Porter’s art actually gets
WORSE in this issue. Doc Savage was
floundering by this stage, which is why “First Wave” creator Brian Azzarello
came aboard with #6. Co-writing with Ivan Brandon, they craft a promising yarn
where Savage and his team (who remain woefully underwritten for the entire 12
issues) are given the opportunity by the US military to be pardoned for their
crimes if they go into the Middle East to track down some WMDs and an old
friend, long thought dead. As Azzarello has never explained the “First Wave”
world to readers, we have to work out for ourselves that much of the Middle
East is a fiery atomic wasteland after “the last war”. Anyway, Nic Klein’s art
is a vast improvement on Porter’s retarded scribbles (he can draw hats on men’s
heads for starters). But the story soon falls apart again and makes little
sense by the end of the arc. Savage has also morphed under Azzarello’s writing
from a guy who is stronger and smarter than the average person due to decades
of rigorous training to a substitute Superman whose capabilities border on the
ludicrous. In the end, Savage shows that even death is only a minor
inconvenience. Klein’s art becomes more disjointed as the issues progress –
action scenes are hard to follow and at other times it’s left to the reader to
fill in the gaps on what really happened in a scene. I felt like my head was
gonna explode by #12 and it was a blessed relief when I realised I didn’t have
to read another fucking issue. This series is definitely not a keeper, even if
JG Jones’ covers are beautiful. The first nine issues also have a back-up
feature, Justice Inc. (writer: Jason
Starr/artist: Scott Hampton). It’s kinda brutal in a Steve Ditko-kinda way, and
far more entertaining than the main feature.

The
Blackest Terror #1 (Moonstone, 2011)
DUD

Writer:
Eric M. Esquivel/Artist: Ander Sarabia

A
reimagining of public domain superhero Black Terror sees him turned into an
Afro-American urban vigilante. A promising idea, but Esquivel is too busy
ranting and raving about black politics to make anyone – particularly your
average comic book reader – care about the character. Weirdly, he focuses much
of his contempt and hatred towards “Uncle Tom” weatherman Al Roker. Sarabia’s
art shows cartoony promise, but this angry tale is way too preachy for my
tastes. Take a chill pill, Eric.

Even a
cool cover plus various strips by good friend Mister J can rescue this Aussie
comic. It’s the utter shits.

Delta
Tenn #2 (Entertainment
Publishing, 1987) DUD

Writer/artist:
Mark Marderosian

I
bought this cheap due to the cheesecake cover. D’oh. Really pedestrian “sexy
cop” yarn, mired in mawkish soap opera shenanigans of the worst kind. Pretty
amateurish on every level. Damn you, brief B&W comic book boom, you gave us
so much shit back then!

Girls,
Greed, Guns & Gore (Eros Comix, 1997)
½*

-
originally published in B-Movie Comix
#1-3 (Whizz-bin Comix, 1994)

Writer/artist:
Eric Wald

Gary
Groth and Kim Thompson, you are such hypocrites. You simultaneously published
the elitist, highbrow The Comics Journal
– that regularly slagged off mainstream comics – while putting out hard-core
porn under your “Eros Comix” banner. Shame on you. Now, some Eros stuff was
fine, but much of it was rubbish – like this graphic novel (which, thankfully,
I didn’t have to pay for as it was given to me for free). Allegedly, the
original three-issue series got destroyed by flood and only six copies remain.
So the series was collected in one TPB and what readers got was hard-core
filth, a confusing storyline and interchangeable, forgettable characters. I
couldn’t follow what was going on and Wald’s cartoony art made the porn
sections underwhelming. Unerotic erotica? Blegh.

Varoomshka by John Kent (Eyre Methuen, 1972) ½*

Political satire only works if people remember what the fuck was being satirised. English politics 40 years down the track means fuck-all to me. Certain political figures featured in this hardback collection of strips are familiar to me – PMs Edward Heath andHarold Wilson, Tory MPs such as Sir Alec Douglas-Home and the future Iron Lady Margaret Thatcher, US Prez Richard Nixon and Vice-Prez Spiro Agnew and Rhodesian PM Ian Smith. Actually, that’s not too shabby – but I’m sure most other people picking up this book would struggle with half the faces, most of the names and ALL the issues of the day. Which makes it a real chore to read this strip that appeared regularly in the otherwise conservative The Guardian newspaper. Varoomshka herself is a gorgeous-but-naive observer of the political machinations going on around her, usually while half-dressed. It’s well-drawn but time has not been kind to this collection.