We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another. (NSFW)

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It's usually because they're just so absurd or really lack even the most tenuous of news angles to give them the go-ahead. Other times it's because they're just absolute horseshit. But every Friday until we get sick of running them, we'll present to you some of these not-so-shiny gems. All items should be treated as [Sic'd]. Enjoy...

Could This Be Brett Favre?

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hey guys,
I watched the E:60 video on Gregg Valentino and after it was done I looked at the comments page and found this gem:

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devilandthelord says:
Wed Apr 29 2009 15:18:17
I would just like to say one thing about the first minute or so of the video. I would like to sleep with Rachel Nichols. She's not perfect, she's even a little goofy looking. But darn it if I don't want to bone the bejesus out of her.Rachel, if you read this, call me.

It's a hip-hop song called DIRGE NOWITZKI about a killed-and-then-reanimated, marauding Dirk Nowitzki, followed by a somber Spanish guitar piece sung from the perspective of Juan Carlos Navarro.

I'm a Boston area rapper and producer and I release songs under the name Father Abraham at http://52pickup.us. My goal is to release one fully produced song per week for all of 2009. DIRGE is the 14th of these songs. It's pretty insane, and I think it will make for a halfway fun post. The link I sent you is to the radio edit, so it ought to be safe to air.

If you're interested in showcasing it, please credit The Young Dads, a comedy pop duo from NYC, (myspace.com/theyoungdads) with the spanish guitar outro - we collaborated for this one - and please link back to my site.

Best
Abe

So You're Saying A-Rod's A Good Tipper?

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Just read your post about the A-Rod book. While I do not know anything about his alleged steriod use, I do know about his tipping prowess. In case you didnt know, Hooters adds 15 percent to all of their checks, even if you just order a soda. Not a lot of people tip more on included gratuity. However, I work in a restaurant that doesnt add gratuity and have waited on A-Rod a few times. Each time he has left at least 20 bucks, regardless of the bill total. Unrelated to his tipping, I had a great encounter with A-Rod a few years ago. While standing outside a local bar near where A-Rod lives, me and my buddy saw A-Rod cross the street and trip over the curb. He had to catch himself at the last second before totally falling on his face. We started to point and laugh at him and he turned around and glared at us. When I yelled I was a Red Sox fan and was just busting his balls, he made his arms into a cross and gave us a double finger, which probably hadnt been done by anyone in at least ten years and probably hasnt been done since.

Wait — A Clarification

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I shouldve clarified. Ive never had a bill with ARod more than 90 bucks. Ive had a few 50-75 checks with him. Hes a good tipper. Hes got a lot of stupid questions, but hes a good tipper.

Ladies if you are located in the Miami Beach/South beach area or just wherever this baller is. I plead with you to beware of Larry Johnson of the Kansas City Chiefs. He recently bought a condo this summer in Miami and is the talk on many known groupies lips who are known to have STD's.

It's sad but true, I got herpes from him. We had unprotected sex when we were drunk once after a crazy club night, he gave me head and I returned the favor.