Horror vacui

Took some timeout to play around with perspectives today, and it matches the saying “nature abhors a vacuum” perfectly.

I am a focused Aries, with a very clear direction to act on (/ram through), and sometimes (or very often) missing the process altogether, and suddenly finding myself already at the destination, with a “huh, oh, so here I am, this is what it looks like”. It irks me when I feel lost, or when there is a pause where I have to figure the next step, and my stomach gets into a messy entanglement of knots. Yet this is the pause that gives me the space and time to breathe, and hear what Universe has to say. Why I usually think on my feet and in the moment is because I have to occupy myself in thought and activities, to keep the feeling of not-knowing-what-to-do-or-what-is-next at bay. Even when Universe grants me a three week space-time-out, I was caught in a cycle of “what is He thinking?”, “what is the subliminal message of this time-out?”, “what does He want me to do this is period of time-out?” and then trying to find all sorts of evidence or pieces of puzzles to make a sensible narrative out of the meaning of this point in my life.

Following a breathless February, I am all too happy to take a weekend off to think about nothing at all. Not exactly nothing, but maybe nothingness. Let’s take the analogy of prayer and meditation. I see it as a walkie-talkie conversation with God. Prayer is my call to Him, “please help me with this”, “please provide me with this”, etc. As with life and communication, it cannot be a one-way monologue. Meditation is my creation of space for him to answer my call, “you can do this and that to get what you ordered”, “are you sure this is what you want?”, “you may like this instead”. We really need to create that vacuum for the Universe to fill. Whereas, if we are so busy making orders, while He has better stuff or out-of-stock, we do not even know, and those orders are not going to get delivered.

So yay, I carved out a little vacuum of time this weekend. Instead of busying myself with the list of outstanding tasks, I just hung around not doing anything. Horror vacui! Must have been fun to shout this phrase out. I was filled with realisations of things (not work / task-related) that have not been addressed because they were not in my vision or even peripheral vision. So many things we brushed aside in the day-to-day, it is good we address them proactively rather than reactively weeping our hearts and eyes out, say during eclipse seasons.

Just for the kick of it, this phrase is actually a physics phenomenon?! All the black hole sucking stuff, I suppose. I have only been reading it from the philosophical viewpoint all these years, as it was trendy for architects to read latin terms at some point, say horror vacui, genius loci, tabula rasa, et cetera. I got curiouser and did a reverse search of the term. Horror vacui! It actually also refers to a fear of emptiness, or the fear of not filling up. Definitely not what I face in my artwork and painting endeavours.

Haha, fun weekend exploration of thoughts from out of nowhere. Now I understand how codependency disempowers. Let’s take workaholics for example, they are addicted to work so it fills up all of their time. They then never have to deal with the emptiness of not having anything else in their lives. So they continue this behaviour, instead of admitting to, and addressing, this void. Nature does abhor a vacuum, when we have the courage to say “alright, I have a void, I am feeling damn sh*t about it, I should have taken better action earlier”, carve out that space, and then Universe willdeliver. Some choose to continue, or even strengthen that codependency with all sorts of further beliefs to portray that they are right and they only need themselves. Good on you, so solidly filled that Universe is happy to leave you alone. Just pray hard that the Eclipse leaves you alone too.