MLB Special: 35-12 ATS…Unbelievable!

I’m hotter than a tea-kettle my lil’ degenerates and the news keeps gettin’ better…another undefeated day investing on America’s pastime, my webmaster made a kick-azz new banner, and I found a grenade of Mickey’s Ice in salad crisper this morning…what can I say, I feel like Greg Almighty! And don’t worry Homeboys, I’ll never be like every other gambling site that charges 50 bucks and then gives half the people the Cubs and the other half the Sox…I just hand-out free Turkeys like its Thanksgiving and stuff it with pictures of hot Asians and witty comedy. Just ask my loyal reader Gator Mike in Florida what it’s like to get a check for $400 from Greggy G because he out picked me in the Inaugural Insideplays.com Football Tourney. The bigger you guys help me make this, the bigger the island I buy for us to party at! Just like my diehard fans in Garland, TX who check us out virtually everyday…either you luv booty-licious gratuitous photos or you need to send me a thank you card for the new pick-up truck I bought ya!

Alrighty then, let’s get to some sports chatter. Here are few thoughts I have going into the weekend before I hand-out some more money and hot women:

1. CUBS/SOX WEEKEND AT THE CELL
I know my fellow Southsiders will think I’m a sellout, but I hope the Cubs beat our azz this weekend. A debacle like that would ensure GM Kenny Williams will blow this garbage up. If I have to hear one more Camero driving douchebag tell me these guys won a World Series for us I’m going to pull a Rae Carruth…oh wait, Rae Rae couldn’t even do that right! Honestly, I want Garland, Buehrle, Jenks, & Iguchi (and Pablo Ozuna of course), and you can ship-out the rest for some youngsters that are from a real farm system.

2. PAXSON BETTER GET GASOL or GARNETT
GM Greggy G’s proposal: Ben Gordon, Tyrus Thomas, Nocioni (sign-n-trade), & P.J. Brown (sign-n-trade) for Kevin Garnett & Rashard McCants. If Paxson, Skiles, & Co. would rather have Gasol, they could drop one of them from the deal. Check-out this starting line-up: Ben Wallace, Kevin Garnett, Luol Deng, Kirk Hinrich, & Thabo/McCants. Listen, I understand the rational that if KG is such a star, how come he can’t even make the playoffs. You know what I think, the group of players McHale has assembled is simply a pile of garbage, as well as, the fact they’ve never given Kevin an enforcer to help him out in the paint. People don’t understand how much easier life would be for him playing alongside Big Ben…and nobody would have the balls to take the ball to the hole against us. With this deal, we also hold onto our pick so Paxson can do what he does best…add more young talent!

3. NBA DRAFT NOTES
Nothing makes me laugh more than an ESPN expert that tells us what a GM told him…HEY DORK, THEY ARE LYING TO YOU!!! Example: Everybody is saying that 7-foot Chinese phenom Yi Jianlian is dropping like a groupie on All-Star weekend. You know why, because GMs desperately want people to think they’re not interested so they can steal him. Speaking of Jianlian, you’ll see my mock draft next week and I think he’s the real M*tha F*ckin deal…no way he drops out of the top 5. As for Ohio St’s lighting quick playmaker Mike Conley, he better send Tony Parker a thank you card the second he gets picked. After watchin’ Eva’s boy dominate the postseason, it looks like the copycat league no longer is enthralled with the 6’5” post-up point guard. And finally, I’ve seen Glen Davis everywhere from the 26th pick to the second round. WRONG…Big-Baby can straight-up ball, has impressed every GM he’s worked-out for with his agility, and has been honest about his weight problem saying he was just uneducated as a youngster on eating right. Give that man a million-dollar nutritionist and he’ll average 15 ppg 8 rpg by year two. I’ll be more shocked than the chick who found Najah Davenport taking a dump her laundry basket if he drops past the 76ers at 21.

4. SEND ME AN EMAIL: GREGGAMBLE@INSIDEPLAYS.COM
My lil’ guy is sick so I’ll be cooped up in the house all weekend. Send my some picks, send me some chicks, and send me your opinions on how we can make Insideplays.com world famous! Have a great weekend Homeboys

BOSTON RED SOX (-130) @ SAN DIEGO PADRES
DiceK is starting to figure things out (Last 3 starts: 4 runs & 25 strikeouts) and that’s not a good sign for the Yankees…and an especially bad sign for a team like the Padres that can’t hit Ted Lilly. As for the Padres, while I luv Greg Maddux, there’s a big difference between facing the line-up’s in the weak hitting West (besides the Rockies) and the Boston Red Sox…The (Good MLB) Sox by 2-4 runs

CHICAGO CUBS @ CHICAGO WHITE SUX (UNDA 8.5)
What am I going to do, watch the game and not bet on it…that’s so stupid! Big Z has been awesome since beating Barrett’s azz, while Buehrle has been solid like he always is. Also, with the speed at which Burls works and the fact that the Cubbies might be a little tired after flying in from Texas, I have feeling it’ll be the 6 inning before they realize what’s going on. As for the White Sux, they’re the worst hitting team in the Majors by 10 points…AND THEY’RE IN THE FRICKIN’ AMERICAN LEAGUE!!!…Cubs/Sux 1-3 total runs