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Author
Topic: I hate my life (Read 6910 times)

I've gone through rough times, like I'm sure we all have. Every now and then, I can't seem to separate myself from all the fucked up shit surrounds me; the flashbacks (my pre to post HIV experience) that linger throughout the day, beating myself up for all of my mistakes, and everything it is that I hate about myself. There are times where I'm financially broken, and can't put food on the table. I've even been rejected, outed on my status, thus humiliated, and chastised.

Though, these things cross my mind, I try to filter them out by doing something that I enjoy. One of those things being writing. I love to write! It's the best method for me to release all of the constipation in my head. Whatever way my pen wants to express itself in regard to my life, it always helps me feel better! Doing something you love or that interests you, is like a laxative for your brain!

So do what ever it is that makes you even a little happy, as long as it's not self-destructive, and you will definitely feel the difference! Keep your mind occupied, and maybe even try something new!

We all have gone through rough times. Every now and then, you can't seem to separate yourself from all the fucked up shit surrounds you; beating yourself up for all of your mistakes, and misfortunes. There may be times where you're practically broke, and can't put food on the table, let alone cover your medical expenses. Maybe you've been rejected, outed on your HIV status, humiliated, or chastised due to the ignorance of others. Though, these things cross your mind, you can filter them out by doing something that you enjoy.

(e.g.) I love to write! It's the best method for me to release all of the constipation in my head. Whatever way my pen wants to express itself in regard to my life, it always helps me feel better!

Doing something you love or that interests you, is like using a laxative for your brain! All of the hard shit in your life is what you need to get rid of!

So do what ever it is that makes you even a little happy, as long as it's not self-destructive! You should feel clearer-minded, and more at ease, in general. Keep your mind occupied, and maybe even try something new!

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time right now. It can become very easy to be overwhelmed by adversity, so it is good that you find an outlet in your writing. That being said, I think you should do yourself a favor and stop focusing on what you hate. Negative thoughts are very powerful and from what I read, you are reacting more to others and what you believe they think about you. I understand how you can feel this way, but I ask that you look very close and you will see that many things in life, are simply beyond our control.

What matters in life is understanding that there is nothing wrong with you, you are who you are and that is enough. You do not need the approval of anyone to be true to yourself. You will never be defined, by what others say about you, unless you allow it to be. Yes you are poz and your life will change, but certainly not end. The only limitations you will experience right now, are of your own making, so please go easy on you and give it some more time.

Being poz does not end anything, it simply alters it and you will move on. If you refuse to be cowed by HIV, including the stigma, you will find that how you view yourself will change dramatically. You have a disease and you are the same person today, that you were prior to infection. The only difference is now you are poz. What that means to you, is something for you to decide and do not ever let anyone tell you that there is anything wrong with you... just the way you are.

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time right now. It can become very easy to be overwhelmed by adversity, so it is good that you find an outlet in your writing. That being said, I think you should do yourself a favor and stop focusing on what you hate. Negative thoughts are very powerful and from what I read, you are reacting more to others and what you believe they think about you. I understand how you can feel this way, but I ask that you look very close and you will see that many things in life, are simply beyond our control.

What matters in life is understanding that there is nothing wrong with you, you are who you are and that is enough. You do not need the approval of anyone to be true to yourself. You will never be defined, by what others say about you, unless you allow it to be. Yes you are poz and your life will change, but certainly not end. The only limitations you will experience right now, are of your own making, so please go easy on you and give it some more time.

Being poz does not end anything, it simply alters it and you will move on. If you refuse to be cowed by HIV, including the stigma, you will find that how you view yourself will change dramatically. You have a disease and you are the same person today, that you were prior to infection. The only difference is now you are poz. What that means to you, is something for you to decide and do not ever let anyone tell you that there is anything wrong with you... just the way you are.

I totally feel you. I was outed myself by the company I work for after putting my foot in my mouth and sharing with my HR manager my HIV status. Which she in turn shared with my supervisor who through such a shallow mind put something on her facebook page about me having HIV. I was totally oblivious to the situation until someone brought it to my attention. Since that time I had to get some counseling. Would you know if there is some kind of legal action I can take?

I totally feel you. I was outed myself by the company I work for after putting my foot in my mouth and sharing with my HR manager my HIV status. Which she in turn shared with my supervisor who through such a shallow mind put something on her facebook page about me having HIV. I was totally oblivious to the situation until someone brought it to my attention. Since that time I had to get some counseling. Would you know if there is some kind of legal action I can take?

If all they did was talk about it, then I don't think there is anything you can do. As soon as you have some sort of work related issue though (aside from people now simply being aware of your status) I think you can sue the hell out of them.

Medical information is private and confidential at the work place - yes there is legal action you can take but you must follow your company's policies first such as a grievance. You have to answer what would remedy your complaint? Your supervisor can be sued for defamation and negligence for posting it on her facebook. The company can be held negligent for not having trained the supervisor about proper procedures regarding confidential health information from HR. If its a small company, then again they can still be held accountable. They most likely would settle with you outside of court.

When you share with more than two people then its no longer confidential but a disclosure; however, your HR manager is still within privacy expectations. Talk to an attorney.