Jenny McCarthy’s New VH1 Show is Torture

February 15th, 2013 - Chris Chambers

Jenny McCarthy revels in her own trashiness. She’s made an inexplicably long-lasting career out of defying standard classification: she’s too smart to be your average bimbo, too cartoonishly over-sexed to be anything else, and too vulgar to be taken seriously. She’s the sexpot who will fart on camera as unabashedly as she’ll flash her tits.

Now Jenny has a new vehicle to show off her “talents” … a 30-minute show on VH1, creatively titled The Jenny McCarthy Show. It premiered last Friday on VH1 and was truly uncomfortable to watch. To Jenny’s credit though, she did manage to make it nearly half-way through the show before flashing her tits. And there were no audible farts.

The show is set up to feel like a party, with a DJ, champagne bottles chilling, and underwear-clad girls (Jenny’s “pussy posse”) dancing in the background. The opening episode featured Joseline Hernanadez from Love and Hip Hop Atlanta and Jenny’s sister JoJo. Evidently Josh Groban was supposed to be there, but didn’t show up. (Weird.)

To give you an idea of the flavor of the show, this was the witty opening exchange between Jenny and Joseline:

Jenny: “Oh my God, bitch, you are so hot!”

Joseline: “Thank you. I think you’re hotter than me.”

Jenny: “What? We’ll see about that.”

Then Jenny introduced her sister:

“My second guest is from my mother’s vagina! It’s my sister Jojo.”

The most painful part of the show was special guest Jesse Heiman, the chubby red-afroed nerd who famously kissed Bar Rafaeli in a GoDaddy commercial. Apparently Jesse was there so Jenny could repeat the hilarious juxtaposition of the GoDaddy commercial, namely in which a super-unattractive guy is inexplicably sexually thrilling to a super-hot woman. Jesse was a very good sport though. When Jenny asked him if he wanted to make out with her, he gamely responded:

“Sure. Or Joseline or JoJo or all three of you.”

Later, when it was Joseline’s turn to pretend to flirt with Jesse, she asked him:

“Have you ever had somebody Spanish and spicy? Or Puerto Rican and dirty?”

To which Jesse replied: “Only from a food truck”

But the show wasn’t just a vehicle for mocking poor Jesse. In honor of the Grammy’s, the ladies played a ground-breaking game called “Who’s Your Grammy?” in which they donned gray wigs, granny glasses, and shawls and took turns guessing words related to the Grammys, like red carpet and lip sync. The game was much trickier than it might sound, especially for Joseline who evidently has the reading skills of a 6-year old.

Overall, the show was a nightmare, but it was only the first episode and hopefully it will improve. Unfortunately, with the Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger scheduled as Episodes 2’s special guest, it doesn’t seem likely.