SIZZLER: Federlines Torture Mel Gibson Into Retreat

Mel Gibson is no stranger to torture. In Braveheart, he endured his wife being raped before he was publicly castrated. In Lethal Weapon, his character was constantly beaten and tortured beyond recognition. And he’s the man who brought us The Passion, possibly the most brutal portrayal of suffering ever seen on the big screen. But in real life, living next door to the Spears-Federlines has proven to be too much agony for even William Wallace to suffer. Mel’s selling his house and moving his family somewhere they can be safe from the dangers of gold-digging rapper wannabes and self-destructive pop singers. I can’t really blame him. When you own a 24 million dollar mansion, you shouldn’t have to wake up every morning to the sounds of Kevin’s awful hip-hop and Britney’s tortured sobbing, intermingled with the smells of unchanged diapers and the cheap weed K-Fed’s “posse” is smoking.