Rapaire, you should be ashamed. Yes, ASHAMED!!!! And the Michigan Doctor who apparently foisted this parody of literary art on an unsuspecting humanity is just obviously working for the Martians! Double-agents and turncoats!! Beware!! Loose lips sink saucers!! I mean, ships!!

Egad! The Martian invasion forces, poised on the very eve of victory, are reeling in sudden confusion before the awesome spread of BS that has infected Mudcat Cafe and driven this thread beyond 1,000 Posts! Will the BS ever end? Or will we have to wait another 60,000 years before people get serious around here and go back to discussing clawhammer technique for left-handed banjo players and the original and unsullied text of "Barbrie Allen"?

A key factor in natural cheese is its selective concentration of the insoluble components of milk. Heat, acid, salt and bacteria both jointly and singly play effective roles in transfering the concentrate into an acceptable, fresh food predictable quality, or later in conjunction with other microorganisms and enzymes, into a cured food.

Natural cheese can be classified into groups according to its moisture content, age, type of ripening agents or the rheological qualities of the cheese. For example, classification of natural cheese based on moisture is divided into four groups, very high H2O ( cottage cheese), high H2O ( Mozzarella cheese), medium H2O ( Cheddar cheese), and low H2O ( Parmesan cheese). The moisture levels range from 80 % to 13 %.

The following table displays the basic steps in cheese-making. The following eight steps are used for most of the 18 distinct variables of natural cheese-making.

BASIC STEPS IN MAJOR CHEESEMAKING

Setting the milk

The first step in basic cheese making is to prepare warm milk with starter and rennet extract or paste causing the milk to curd into a block. This curd may either be set with starter only causing an acid iso-electric casein, or a sweeter, calcium paracasein curd, set with both starter in rennet extract. The sweeter curd will materialize in only 15 to 30 minutes at about 32 degrees celcius however, the acid iso-electric casein curd will take approximately 5 to 16 hours to curd at a given temperature.

The optimum pasteurized temperature is 161.6 degrees F (72 degrees celcius) for 16 seconds only pasteurized milk is used for fresh cheese, however raw heat, heated or pasteurized milk may be set for ripened cheese.

The rennin extract is added to the milk, causing the milk curd, however vibrations may cause a non- homogeneous curd. A milk container protecting against light is necessary because rennin is unstable to light. Also, it is inactivated at normal pasteurization temperatures and is most stable at pH 4.0.

Cutting the curd

The horizontal - wire knife is initially used to cut the curd into strips using a swing - gate motion. It is only used to cut in one direction, lengthwise. The vertical- wire knife is then placed in the curd and moved in two directions, the long and cross directions. Cutting the curd increases the surface area of the curd.

Cooking the Curds

Cooking the curd is generally defined as, heating the curd and whey for a specific time, while agitating. This process may be accomplished by using direct steam, jacketed water, or radio- frequency. Cooking the curd serves many purposes such as, contracting the curd particles, driving out the free whey, increase lactic acid production, suppresses spoilage microorganisms and influences the final cheese moisture.

Draining Whey

Separating the whey from the curds is accomplished by using a metal strainer or a sieve. Draining time will vary from 15 to 60 minutes, depending on the vat size. The whey acidity determines when to begin draining. This processes also allows more time for lactic acid production.

Knitting and transforming the Curds

The type of cheese being processed and it's texture will determine the time period of this application. During this time, lactic acid is accumulated causing the curd to change chemically and provide the correct moisture content. This will also allow microbial constituency for curing.

Salting of Curds

The purpose of salting the cheese is to improve its flavor, texture and appearance to suppresse the growth of spoilage microorganisms. When and how much salt is added is dependent on the type of cheese being processed.

Pressing

This processes gives the cheese its characteristic shape, texture, extrudes free whey. The cheese is placed in a metal or wooden vat, usually with some type of weight placed on it to cause pressure. The standard equipment used, is the horizontal, hydraulic, pressure plate type presses.

Adjusting the specifications of the previous steps will cause different varieties of cheese.

[whinge mode ON]why is all the martian invasion stuff happening on this thread. There's a perfectly good thread for it down below here and this thread it suppossed to be pure b*llsh*te. the Martian Invasion is serious stuff! [whinge mode OFF]

"Numb Nuts, you land in Idaho and we'll show you what it feels like to get the Sawtooths* shoved up your a**e. You and your group of pansy-wansy honeypot suckers show up ANYWHERE within 5,000 kilometers of Boise and we will kick your butts so far up your backsides you'll have to burp to fart. And remember, in the words of your pal Barney, "I love you!" (By the way, he was delicious. We served him with baked Idaho potatoes.)

And you want to share? We got stuff to share with you. Mostly .30 caliber stuff, but some's a lot bigger!

Love, Your friends in The Idaho Regiment"

(I cleaned this up so that it wouldn't offend your tenderheart sensibilities.)

Earthlings! My name is Tenderheart Bear (yeh, click on the name to see what a badass I am). I am the leader of the band of freedom fighters you Earthlings know as "Care Bears". Yep, that's us. The ones you're making such a puny attempt to defend yourselves against. Well, you're gonna lose! Why? Because you don't know how to share! That's why the Galactic Overlord (Yeh, I know, some shitbird pretending to be God said that he'd fired the G.O. Wrong!) sent us on this little incursion. To teach you fuckers how to share!

So listen up! Learn how to share and we'll just go home. Keep on being the selfish assholes you've been being and we'll kick your ass. Understand?

Is that Ms Penelope Rutledge I see presiding over the "trouncing of the foe"?!!! How stirring! You have done well, Rapaire, and shall be rewarded with a medal or two and a commendation. Those cutesy-pie thingees you found and fought are the most disgusting sight I have seen in a long time, and I dearly hope you exterminated every last one of them! Don't fret over the casualties. Bloodshed and heavy loss of life are part of every glorious victory, and guarantee that it will be long remembered and serve to inspire future generations to go forth and hurl themselves mindlessly into the fray just as their forefathers did. Expect more of this. It's good for morale and makes for great movies and books at a later date.

Too bad about Debbie Earl...but he/she/it kept talking about the "nice little farm" he/she/it was going to own after the war, and you know what happens to idiots who do that! It's the same as guys who are on guard duty at night and say, "It's too quiet out there. I don't like it." More fatal words were never spoken. Any guy says that, he's dead meat. I can guaran-dam-tee-it, pilgrim.

I beg to inform you that at 1712 MDT the Idaho Regiment was attacked by allies of the Martian invaders. Fighting was fierce indeed, but we followed your orders and strategized all over the place. We were finally able to obtain sufficient supplies to enable our beleaguered forces to absolutely trounce the foe.

SIR! we whipped 'em good, SIR!

But SIR! I regret to inform you that we suffered horribly for our victory. There are many wounded, and many have left this vale of suffering forever. There are also many missing in action, SIR!, one of whom is our newest recruit, Debbie Earl.

SIR! we shall do our utmost to resupply and regroup prior to the expected attack on the 27th, but we will then be at half strength (20% alcohol) at best.

I beg to report, SIR!, that we have taken in a new recruit, SIR! Particulars are: Six feet four inches tall, 196 pounds and few shillings over, quite educated and articulate, and the female members of the Regiment seem to find him to be "a hunk." (Sir, I am familiar with military terms and can readily discuss MLRs, beaten zones, pre-planned fires, TOT, close air support, final defensive fires, commissariat, and FUBAR, but I unfamiliar with this last term and report it here because, SIR!, I am certain it will convey meaning to you.) The new recruit's name, SIR!, is Debbie Earl, SIR!, which causing some small confusion among the troops.

Otherwise, SIR! things are going well. The new weapons have arrived and have been issued, as per your orders, SIR! Training, SIR! has been goind quite well indeed, with only three fatalities and seven wounded, SIR! The troops have also received the new rations, SIR! and some are becoming attached to the rations, calling them "cute."

Intelligence sources have reported the deployment of yet another cadre of anti-Martian troops over on this thread. Yes, the Mudcat Commandos under the leadership of Sargent Kat have been brought into the fray. Between Colonel Hawk and Sargent Kat, Tweetybird and Foghorn Leghorn don't stand a chance! However, whether or not you've got enough between you to put a whoop-ass on those Care Bears is still kind of iffy, especially since rumors abound of a new secret alliance between the Care Bears and this guy. (And we all know that Sargent Kat doesn't have a very good track record against giant mice.)

there is a theory that s*it is NOT the waste product of the digestive system - rather that it is a symbiotic life form . the reason most organisms regularly produce deposits of sh*t is that in reproducing the symbiote has neccessitated more living space then available and part is expelled. Under rare conditions this species can exist outside of a host body - reproduceing by spontaneous generation

You're on the right track, Rapaire, my lad! Now bear down, grit yer teeth, and do what must be done. If ya want some inspiration, watch a few old John Wayne movies, like "Sands of Iwo Jima". And remember this: there is NOTHING wrong with using WMD's and slaughtering millions of foreigners/savages as long as they are the Bad Guys and you are the Good Guys...and we are! Make no mistake about that, pilgrim.

A question, sir! A bunch of the troops, the ones who call themselves "The Cleary's Grove Boys," want to use WMDs. Sir, isn't it against the Geneva Convention, the Hague Conventions on Land Warfare, and human decency to create and use a musical group composed of castenets, ukuleles, accordions, bodhrans, bagpipes, a lute, and a grand piano?

The explosion warn't nothin'. Just some of the lads and lassies foolin' around. High spirits, you know. Pre-action hijinks. Don't worry about it. No big thing. And I'm certain we'll find most of the body parts eventually. Just a bit more paperwork, that's all. I have stopped the issue of hand grenades and have begun issuing water balloons.

Okay, Colonel. Almost half of the troops are assembled, and nearly everyone remembered to bring their firelocks. Some even remembered to bring powder and shot, but I had it taken away until they sober up. They didn't go home after being dismissed last night, but instead spent the night playing "Go Fish" and drinking Scotch-and-root-beer with various various Fallen Women In Low Dives (I considered assembling a firing squad for the insult to whisky, but using their own powder and ball to execute them seemed a bit declasse, so I decided to let their hangovers be their punishment).

Corporal Simpkins forgot his pants again. Two people, Miguel Machismo and Trixie "Boom-Boom" Jones, are on sick call for some sort of "burning when they go pee-pee," and I hope that this does not presage an epedemic.

A couple more folks wandered in a few minutes ago, but one of them went back home to get her purse.

Your orders have been received and at the moment we are issuing hand grenades to the troops.

That's the spirit, Rapaire! Assemble your troops (those that can stand up...) at 0600 sharp tomorrow! We attack at dawn! All Care Bears shall be destroyed. Give 'em no quarter. Don't even give 'em a nickel or a dime. And if you run across any Teletubbies shoot 'em on sight!

ah, Colonel, it's getting late and some of the troops have to be home before 2100, and they've got a bit of a walk, some of them, so I let them go home. We'll be ready and rarin' to go tomorrow, and 'most everyone will finally be sober. I also tried to make them stop gathering flowers, but they told me it was for camouflage so I said that it was okay. I think some of us will be marching off disguised as floral arrangements.

My children were of the appropriate age when Care Bears were in their maximum vogue around '84 or so. I actually took them to see "The Care Bears Movie". Fortunately, I managed to fall asleep after about the first five minutes. Unfortunately, the kids did not. It took years of counseling to get them to the point where they could distinguish fantasy from reality and they still both managed to grow up to be hoodlums.

I've investigated further, and can only say, "Jumpin' sh*t! Let's BLAST them l'il buggers afore they drag us all down to their level! Jaysus, the very survival of the human race (poor excuse that it might be) is at stake!"

We're off to off the Care Bears, The invading Martian sods, We'll stomp their heads and pee in their beds And save our world because! Oh, we're off to off the Care Bears Those dirty Martian sods!

Little Hawk, the Idaho Regiment stands ready! Our marching song (above) is written! Our firelocks are on our shoulders! We have drawn our swords, and our trumpets shall never call retreat! The piper is tuned and he's pipin' away! Our packs are on our backs and the boat's on the bay! Our flax and wheels are sold! The girls (and boys) we left behind are weepin' for their Johnny and Joanie goin' to sea! We won't come back 'til it's over! The Harrow tomorrow we must cross! We few, we proud, we band of brothers (and sisters)! Where ever our colors are worn are changed, changed utterly! Wrap the green flag round me! Once more, dear friends, into the breach, once more! Remember the Alamo! Remember the Maine! St. Denis! They shall not pass! Mountjoy! For God, England, and St. George! Arount thee wench, the rump-fed runion cries!

Whaddya mean, "the unknown"? I say wipe 'em out and do it now. You can't make me feel guilty about it either. I saw a good comic about them one time. On the left side was a panel showing the Care Bears, who were smiling sweetly at the reader and saying "I wuv you!" and "I care about your feewings!". On the right side was a panel showing the Uncaring Bears, who were glowering at the reader, smoking cigars, and saying "I can't stand you!" and "Who gives a rip!#?"

Good Lord, LH! I never thought that you'd espouse genocide! Have we stooped this low? Is there no way that we can sit down with these and discuss matters? Must we immediately grab a gun? Is there no solution except violence and war? Does the word "humanity" mean nothing? They are creatures like us, possessed of a body and soul, a mind. They might be fuzzy outside, they might look differently, they might even be tasty and delicious when served with a roasted pepper sauce and a nice Merlot, but must we always approach the unknown with fear and violence?

I couldn't agree more Bee-Dubya! Care Bears are the very apotheosis of evil! They must be expunged utterly from this World by every means possible!!! Then there are the Teletubbies! Imagine a feature film called "The Care Bears Meet the Teletubbies". Now imagine it again at a matinee. Now jump off a bridge...

Bert evil? Ernie evil? No problem. I can accept the possibility of any Muppet being evil, especially Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear and the Swedish Chef. Everyone's always known that Muppets have the potential for evil because Jim Henson and Frank Oz were, after all, a couple of freaks who found a profitable niche for their weirdness. Where eccentricity lies, the seed for evil cannot be far away. Just ask Dr. Faustus.

But Care Bears are a different matter all together. They exude a special malevolence. They personify BLAND and BLAND is the worst kind of evil. There is no eccentricity where Care Bears are concerned. There is only DULL. Care Bears rot away the minds of young children in the same inevitable creeping fashion that Bazooka Joe and Coca-Cola rot their teeth. Care Bears are the Valium of evil! There has never been any question of a Care Bear selling his soul to the Devil because Care Bears have no souls to begin with! They are the kiddie culture equivalent of The Walking Dead!

Bert may indeed be evil, but if so he's been driven to it by Ernie! Ernie is a sadistic, manipulative little creep who delights in emotionally torturing Bert and driving him to the brink of madness. This evil of Ernie's should be exposed in its full ugliness for all the World to see! And when the Martian invasion succeeds, it will be. I can guaran-dam-tee-it! Ernie will be osterized with extreme prejudice. His remains will be used to plug holes in leaky sewage pipes.

Anyway, don't pay any attention to whoever is claiming to be the Galactic Overlord. I created that position hoping that someone or something could take some of the responsibility for this galaxy off of My shoulders. Didn't happen, so I abolished the position and laid off the incumbent.

Good Me, some of those I allowed to be GOs became power hungry! The one I just laid off (and there won't be another) was, well, here's a picture. And here's another , you can see the resemblence to another, earlier GO developing.

HEY! EARTHPEOPLE! WAKE UP! THE MARTIANS ARE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR! THEY'RE GOING TO BE THERE ON AUGUST, 27! THAT'S ONLY THREE DAYS FROM NOW! IF YOU PEOPLE DON'T GET 1000 POSTS TO THIS THREAD BY THEN, YOUR WORLD IS DOOMED! THAT'S RIGHT! I SAID "DOOMED"! DO YOU WANT TO BEAR RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE DESTRUCTION OF TERRAN CIVILIZATION? AND ALL BECAUSE YOU WERE TOO (A) BUSY (B) LAZY (C) UNCREATIVE TO POST A FEW WORDS TO THIS, THE MOTHER OF ALL BS THREADS!

AND I HAD SUCH HIGH HOPES FOR YOU GUYS. TSK, TSK, TSK. YOU KNOW, OF ALL THE RACES OVER WHICH I EXERCISE MY OVERLORDSHIP, YOU FOLKS ARE ONE OF MY FAVORITES. IN THE OVERLORDLY SCHEME OF THINGS YOU GUYS ARE SORT OF LIKE DACHSUNDS. NOT MUCH GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT CUTE AND YAPPY. I JUST LOVE TO WATCH YOU CHASE YOUR TAILS. AND, IF THE TRUTH BE KNOWN, I REALLY DON'T LIKE MARTIANS AT ALL. I'D HATE TO SEE YOUR CUTE LITTLE PLANET TAKEN OVER BY THOSE RUFFIANS.