the thing is, that attitude seems to be the norm among men on the dating sites around here. I refuse to be put back into insecure high school mode, especially for guys who don't even appear to be "all that." Where are all the nice normal people?

me- BS

Divorced & living again.

"Let go or get dragged" - beaner

Life is Good

Posts: 10788 | Registered: Sep 2005

persevere♀ 31468Member # 31468

Posted: 8:49 PM, May 25th (Saturday), 2013

Where are all the nice normal people?

Excellent question. Right now I just don't have the energy to find them, lol. So I'm just sticking close to home for a while, though i may try out a few meet ups.

Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44

DDay:2011
Status: D 2011

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling

Posts: 4974 | Registered: Mar 2011

Griefstricken25♀ 29183Member # 29183

Posted: 8:57 PM, May 25th (Saturday), 2013

I can't say I'm actually online dating, but I am online browsing. I'm always super bummed when a really cute guy who seems to have a decent amount of stuff going for him, is a terrible speller or can't use grammar to save his life.

this particular guy didn't seem to have much going for him - other than a zip code that made me suspect he has a bank account. I don't get it.

me- BS

Divorced & living again.

"Let go or get dragged" - beaner

Life is Good

Posts: 10788 | Registered: Sep 2005

Exit Wounds♀ 32811Member # 32811

Posted: 9:25 PM, May 25th (Saturday), 2013

Can I ask? Which one of the dating sites did you go on? I have found that the free one's have a bunch of trash on there. Not all of course but hey if you can get it free, cheap, and easy...

Posts: 2545 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dogs.

brokenapart♀ 8309Member # 8309

Posted: 9:33 PM, May 25th (Saturday), 2013

this is one of the pay sites.

me- BS

Divorced & living again.

"Let go or get dragged" - beaner

Life is Good

Posts: 10788 | Registered: Sep 2005

FaithFool♀ 20150Member # 20150

Posted: 10:07 AM, May 26th (Sunday), 2013

I saw one the other day that said he's looking for someone who doesn't mind if he farts in front of her.

Dude, way to go...

DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 18530 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada

damncutekitty♀ 5929Member # 5929

Posted: 12:05 PM, May 26th (Sunday), 2013

I saw one the other day that said he's looking for someone who doesn't mind if he farts in front of her.

Being able to fart in front of your SO is important! I am still shy about farting in front of my SO. I swear the man never farts except in his sleep, it makes me so self conscious.

Keep calm and carry on.

Posts: 49483 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: Minneapolis

ButterflyGirl♀ 38377Member # 38377

Posted: 12:23 PM, May 26th (Sunday), 2013

I saw one the other day that said he's looking for someone who doesn't mind if he farts in front of her.

This is exactly the kind of douchebag I hope to stay away from. To me, he should be appropriately embarrassed by his farts, and I should be appropriately accepting as everyone freaking farts and it's not a big deal. But to put it out there that you MUST accept that I'm gross? And you better let me get away with it, and I'm not going to be embarrassed about it? I mean, how many other things is that going to extend to? Why even put that kind of crap out there before you even meet someone? I think he's trying to say that he has a lot of faults, and he's not willing to work on them, and he's looking for another broken person that won't challenge him to be better.

Just my take on online dating anyway. There really is a lot of crazy out there, and the kind of shit they put out there in the beginning can really tell a lot about what kind of relationship partner he will be..

xBW~ 36
Two DS~ 8 and 11
You're gonna catch a cold, from the ice inside your soul. So don't come back for me. Don't come back at all.

Posts: 2843 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida

Amazonia♀ 32810Member # 32810

Posted: 12:23 PM, May 26th (Sunday), 2013

Sure there are good, normal people out there. If you're on OLD long enough, you'll probably meet one. They just usually don't stay on the site very long, because they meet another good, normal person, and hop off. It's the weirdos who never meet anyone and thus never take down their profiles that you have to weed through.

"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 14184 | Registered: Jul 2011

Nature_Girl♀ 32554Member # 32554

Posted: 12:33 PM, May 26th (Sunday), 2013

I will not be OLD when the time comes that I'm ready to date. After finding so many of STBX's OLD profiles on the legit sites (match, eharmony, chemistry, etc...) in which he lied about himself (saying he's divorced when he is STILL married), I realize that I could never ever ever trust what anyone said online. I'm going to do it the old-fashioned way.

I've reached a point where I can see myself wanting male companionship for a movie or a coffee. That's it. Nothing more. But I will need to meet that man in person and vet him before buying that movie ticket. It's too easy to lie online.

Lots of liars is what the sites should be called.
Since I know for a fact during our marriage, my WS was on all the major sites. Profile description complete fabrication. He actually became upset when one of his dates reported him for being married. He said she was mad he didn't like her. Yeah dream on...she probably saw him for what he was, 15 years older and 40 lbs overweight

friends wife lasting 10 years. TT over a
year a year. Now his health is declining,
among the lack of communication.

Posts: 653 | Registered: Jul 2012

phoenixrivers♂ 38314Member # 38314

Posted: 3:43 AM, May 27th (Monday), 2013

Coming from the male perspective, I'd say pretty much the same thing as brokenapart. I'm a successful, professional man, use good grammar, don't ask to fart in front of people and try to be respectful of the women I've responded to on the pay site I'm on. I take the time to describe myself, tell a little about my life and ask respectfully if they'd like to correspond and get to know me.

After numerous no responses and no shows for meetings, I'm getting paranoid and feeling bad about myself. So the online dating thing is just as difficult for men as it is for women.