Be advised: Although Phillip Isherwood's custom crafted lightsabers blaze LED spectral force fields of green, red, or blue and arrive with 36" long polycarbonate blades designed for full speed, full contact dueling, he wants to be clear that they are not based on the weapons used in OG* George Lucas' interstellar film series, Star Wars. Don't worry, Phillip. I'd never think that. I hardly even know what Star Wars is. I think I heard my dad talk about it once when I was little. Or maybe it was my grandpa. Anyway, my only prior experience with lightsabers has been right here, thanks to our buddies over at Wicked Lasers. And your designs are at least as wicked, and definitely more hand-tailored and souped up with special powers I covet as much as my neighbor's wife.

Available in 13 different designs ranging in price from around $130 to $500 (based on makeup and capabilities) Isherwood's lightsabers are all forged from aircraft grade aluminum and fitted with genuine cow hide leather grips. The battle sabers have anti vandal switches recessed into their handles to preclude accidental shutoffs during blade-to-blade action, and can withstand intense flailing and impact during both choreographed spars as well as true duels for the last hit off the Boobs Ice Luge.

Some lightsabers also include sound effects, courtesy of a Novasound Neutrino soundboard. The Neutrino ranks as a high end, hero level sound effects device with 20 clash and swoosh effects, ignition and deactivation notifications, and an idle hum. It also has an adjustable blade light pulse setting, and a voice menu for ease of changing any of the settings with the saber's button. Isherwood notes the Neutrino is the loudest soundboard currently available.

Damn, Phillip Isherwood, your lightsaber creations are kind of outstanding. They almost make me want to go look up this Star Wars thing to see what all the anti-hype is about. But probably I won't. I'm sure I'd just be disappointed.

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