DeNiro. Pesci. Wahlberg. A video game movie. Wait, what?

A while back I brought you the news that arthouse (and FilmDrunk) favorite David O. Russell (who famously called Lily Tomlin a kunt) would be writing and directing a movie based on the video game Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune. David O. Russell doing a video game movie? Jeez, what’s next, one of the Wachowski Brothers gets a sex change?

Today, weird gets EVEN WEIRDER, as Mark Wahlberg has confirmed that he’ll star, and that they’re trying to bring on Robert DeNiro and Joe Pesci, though getting DeNiro might be a long shot, what with his recent re-dedication to quality cinema likeLittle Fockers. (*gets stabbed in the boner*)

“David is one of the best writer/directors I’ve ever worked with,” Wahlberg told MTV. “The idea that he has is just insane. So hopefully we’ll be making that movie this summer.”
And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Walhberg also confirmed rumors that Russell is writing roles for acting heavies (and “Goodfellas” costars) Robert De Niro and Joe Pesci. “I’m obviously in whatever David wants to do, but the idea of it is so off the charts: De Niro being my father, Pesci being my uncle. It’s not going to be the watered-down version, that’s for sure.” [MTV]

Now that I think about it, Mark Wahlberg being in this, if anything, makes it less weird. I was wrong. It’s just that I’d forgotten he was in 2008’s Max Payne. Can you guys ever forgive me? For forgetting about 2008’s Max Payne?

PESCI: You f*ckin’ mutt!

O. RUSSELL: Eh, oh! Control your friend over here. I’m just breaking balls. All I did was call him a kunt. I didn’t insult nobody.

The Frotcast got me thinking about movies I hate but aren’t necessarily bad movies, and this just reminded me, what about Once upon a time in America? That’s definately in my top 10 worst movies of all time, fucking awful, from start to finish. Well, not finish, I started watching it inc June 2004 and it’s been going since then, seriously, does this movie end?

By: Donkey Hodey

11.24.2010 @ 2:19 PM

I saw a drake’s fortune once.

Motherfucker had it all in one giant vault and was swimming in it. He did help remind me that life is like a hurricane though.

By: Crapbasket

11.24.2010 @ 2:20 PM

[Vaudvillian magician dances onto stage, pulls Crappy out of a top hat]

I’ll forgive you for forgetting Max Payne. But I’ll never forgive you for saying it looked kinda cool. (insert post link here)

By: AVALANCHE VII

11.24.2010 @ 2:24 PM

Oh God, why?? The 2 Uncharted games are some of the best you can get for the PS3, the second one has over 35 perfect review scores, it’d be really hard to screw it up on film..

Except with the casting. Wahlberg doesn’t have the right sense of humor. Nathan Drake’s family is never mentioned, this seems like some mob film. High hopes are kinda dashed with this. Shoulda been Nathan Fillion.

Two wops and a mick are sitting at a bar. The pope walks in and says, “Give me a kid to rape or I’ll excommunicate all of yous!”
The two wops yell, “Ehyoooh!!” and make tee pee fingers.
The mick yells, “No kids ‘ere! Itza fahckin bahhh!” Throws a molotov at his kraut ass and converts to protestantism.

Moral of the story, this movie will suck no matter who is in it.

By: Dumplin Nuggs

11.24.2010 @ 2:29 PM

but the idea of it is so off the charts

well it is called uncharted

By: Dumplin Nuggs

11.24.2010 @ 2:30 PM

italics fail

By: Donkey Hodey

11.24.2010 @ 2:32 PM

it’d be really hard to screw it up on film..

Except with the casting. Wahlberg doesn’t have the righta sense of humor.

I fixed that for you.

By: JHC

11.24.2010 @ 2:37 PM

I really think that these three actors are better suited to a re-boot of Super Mario Brothers.

Pesci as Mario
DeNiro as Luigi
Wahlberg as a Koopah Troopah

By: AVALANCHE VII

11.24.2010 @ 2:44 PM

Thanks, Donkey. Same scowl for every emotion.. Here’s how it shoulda gone down.

On a related topic, can anybody make it clear to me what Stahl’s game is on Sons of Anarchy? I have a theory but it’s weak.

By: Dingus

11.24.2010 @ 3:01 PM

Wahlberg better not slap Pesci in the face with his fake cock from Boogie Nights. Pesci might bwake his fuckin’ wegs witta cwobahr.

By: Fek'lhr

11.24.2010 @ 3:10 PM

In A.D. 2101
War was beginning.
Captain: What happen ?
Mechanic: Well, my idea was, y’know, I want a name, I want it so it can cut glass, y’know, razor sharp. When I close my eyes, I see this thing, a sign, I see this name in bright blue neon lights with a purple outline. And this name is so bright and so sharp that the sign – it just blows up because the name is so powerful… It says, “Dirk Diggler.”
Operator: I thought he’d never shut the fuck up.
Captain: What !
Operator: Main screen turn on. What am I, a mirage?
Captain: It’s You, fucking son of a… Saw you coming you fucking… shitheel.
Cats: How are you gentlemen !!
Cats: All your base are belong to us.
Cats: You are on the way to destruction.
Captain: You talkin’ to me?
Cats: You have no chance to survive make your time.
Cats: HA HA HA HA ….
Captain: Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to? Oh yeah? OK.
Captain: You know what you doing.
Captain: Don’t try it you fuck.
Captain: For great justice.

By: Ragnarok

11.24.2010 @ 3:13 PM

“Good” movie I don’t get: Bladerunner. Cannot… Stay… awakeZzzzzzzzzzz

By: Crapbasket

11.24.2010 @ 3:21 PM

I like when Fek goes off his meds.

By: Fek'lhr

11.24.2010 @ 3:31 PM

Having a Four Loko hangover is basically the same as going off meds.

By: Crapbasket

11.24.2010 @ 3:44 PM

You know what sucks about having Thnxgivin dinner at your house? Not being able to get destroyed on Seagram’s 7 until after the meal is cooked. Whatsupwitdat?!

By: JHC

11.24.2010 @ 3:49 PM

See, it’s because he’s from Bawstahn. That’s why I spelled it like that.

Aww, fuck it.

By: Crapbasket

11.24.2010 @ 4:21 PM

Wait, Joe Pesci is still alive?

By: Wayne Jetski

11.24.2010 @ 4:38 PM

Good luck Wahlberg, he’s come a long way from the wicked dumb kid who couldn’t memorize the Contra code.

QAPLAH! It’s a TahQeqsgiving miracle from Kahless! On His way home from work, The Mighty Feklahr stopped to gas up and the convenience store had like FIVE FUCKING FLATS of Four Loko!!!

If you want some place your order now (no horseshit, Jack).

By: spazmodic

11.24.2010 @ 8:24 PM

How much would it cost to send a six-pack to Romu-

…uh, the Outer Rim?

By: spazmodic

11.24.2010 @ 8:32 PM

Ragnarok: re. Blade Runner – do you not “get it”, or does it just put you to sleep?

If I was wired up Clockwork Orange-style and had to choose a movie to watch forever, it’d be Blade Runner. Preferably the ‘Final Cut’, but ‘Director’s Cut’ would also do. NO FUCKING VOICEOVER, YOU MEDDLING STUDIO KUNTS!

By: Sid Sweat

11.24.2010 @ 8:54 PM

“Walhberg also confirmed rumors that Russell is writing roles for acting heavies (and ‘Goodfellas’ costars) Robert De Niro and Joe Pesci.”

DOES NOBODY CARE ABOUT “CASINO”? Fuck you, MTV.

By: Ragnarok

11.25.2010 @ 7:05 AM

azmo: I’ve seen it. I even bought the Director’s Cut about seven or eight years ago determined to “appreciate it” but I’ve yet to be able to watch the whole thing in one sitting. Something about it always turns me into my grandpa watching golf on a Sunday afternoon. It’s the hype about it I don’t get.

By: Watanabex

11.25.2010 @ 11:08 AM

Happy thanksgiving guys! enjoy your four loko marinated turkeys!

By: spazmodic

11.25.2010 @ 4:39 PM

agna: that’s cool, it doesn’t float your boat. Fair enough.

But I wouldn’t say there’s “hype” about it … more like “acclaim”. I don’t get the hype OR the acclaim about The Hurt Locker. Good movie, sure. Well-made, undoubtedly. But a compelling story? Meh. I won’t ever be able to watch it twice in one sitting, as I have done with BR… several times.

Maybe a lot of it is due to the dope I was smoking in ’92 when the Director’s Cut dropped. I thought I was a replicant, dude! LOFLOFL.