INTRODUCTION

My time with
Professor Bond is a real eye-opener. I think I was able to ask him all the
questions for which I was seeking answers. Having said that, he also gave me a
lot of answers to questions I wasn’t even aware I had!

GETTING TO THE AIRPORT

The journey
to the airport takes about ten minutes by car. After all, it’s still very early
and there are hardly any people on the roads.

CHECK-IN

The landside
part of the terminal is disproportionately large, compared to the somewhat
tight and narrow airside area at the gates.

Each one of
the major airlines operating out of Townsville has its own dedicated check-in zone.
I can bypass this today, because I’ve already checked in on the QANTAS app.

There is a queue
for security, but it moves quickly. Of course it helps that in Australia they
only want you to remove your laptop from your bag and not also your toiletries
etc.

LOUNGE

Once I’m
through security, I only have ten minutes before boarding starts. But I’m
gagging for a coffee. Much to my surprise and delight, there is actually a
fairly large QANTAS lounge, where the baristas will even make you a cappuccino to
go!

BOARDING

So with my
coffee in hand, boarding starts on time with an initial call for Business Class
and frequent flyers passengers. It’s only once I settle in my seat that I
realise it’s raining quite heavily outside.

CABIN

QANTAS has a
dedicated Business Class cabin on its Boeing B 737-800 fleet. There are three
rows of seats in a 2 + 2 configuration, which makes for a total of twelve
seats.

Every seat
is equipped with its own video screen, an electricity plug and USB port. There
is also a footrest that can be raised when the seat is in the recline position.

The wifi on
board works surprisingly well.

I think the
Americans in particular tend to frown upon the European interpretation of
Business Class seating, which basically means blocking the middle seat on a row
of bog standard Economy Class seats. Which is, admittedly, pretty lame. But it
seems to me that the average sector length in Europe is probably much shorter
than in vast countries like the US or Australia, and which therefore hardly
warrants the installation of a more comfortable solution with a dedicated
Business Class cabin and seat.

CREW

The maître
de is serving the Business Class cabin and I have to say, this guy is really
absolutely brilliant. His manners are impeccable! He addresses every passenger
by name and no request ever seems too much for him.

SERVICE

The service
on the ground consist of a welcome drink. There is a choice of still or sparkling
water or apple juice. There are no towels, newspapers or anything.

The flight
time is announced at one hour and thirty minutes.

THE MEAL

Once we’re
airborne, the meal service begins. There is a choice of either Quiche Lorraine with
bacon or an omelette served with a mushroom sauce, spinach and bacon. I go with
the latter option.

The tray
comes with two slices of sourdough bread, butter and apricot jam. There’s also some
awfully healthy looking packed thingy, which I decide to steer clear of.

Later on,
the maître de passes through the cabin offering cranberry muffins that are
fresh out of the oven and taste lovely.

To drink
with the meal, I have an orange juice, still water and a coffee. Oh yes, the
coffee! Full and extra brownie points for QANTAS on the coffee front. Instead
of that horrific instant stuff you get on most airlines these days, QANTAS serves
a lovely brew made in a coffee press, which just tastes so much better!

Once the
tray is removed, the crew pass through the cabin with small bottles of still
water and ask passengers if there’s anything else they’d like. I order a Coke
Zero and then settle in to read the latest book of the PC Grant series, which
my friend the wiry R. and I both find quite entertaining.

Transfer in Brisbane

We land in
Brisbane about ten minutes ahead of schedule. I disembark the aircraft through
gate number 23. I check on one of the FIDS, only to find that my flight to
Sydney in slightly over an hour will be operated by the same aircraft from the
same gate.

The glorious beauty of the English language…

Language
change is unavoidable. One of the key drivers of language change is exposure of
the language as it is used in a specific area to the other languages in use
around it. In which case there may be regional approximation of two or more
languages coexisting in that region.

Why am I
even bothering you with this? In British English a thong refers to a particular
type of knickers or underpants. If you look up the term on onelook.com, it will
give you as a definition: ‘a piece of underwear or bottom part of a bikini with
a very narrow piece of cloth at the back’. So basically, it’s the type of
underpants that look as though they need to be surgically removed from your
butt crack.

Which makes
it all the more hilarious that when I enter the QANTAS lounge during my layover
in Brisbane, the lounge dragon will not let me enter because they have ‘a
strict no thongs policy’ in the lounge that she’s asking me to respect. Of
course, what she’s referring are what we call flip flops in Europe that you
wear on your feet.

THE MEAL

In any case,
the only other thing worthwhile mentioning on the next leg to Sydney is that
there are three options for lunch: a kale and spinach frittata, fruit salad or
a smoked salmon salad. The tray comes with a large tub of blueberry yoghurt on
it. The bread is served separately.

ARRIVAL

Our arrival
into Sydney is stunning. We approach the city from the north. At some point, we
make a gentle left turn for the downwind, which brings us in right over Manly.
In the distance I can see the harbour bridge with the opera house and CBD. It
just looks so spectacular from above! I shall miss this when I leave again for
Europe tomorrow.

CONCLUSION

I rather enjoyed these two short-haul flights in QANTAS Business Class. My previous experiences with their Business Class product have all been on longer sectors, on which the meal concept was somehow always a bit odd. So it’s good to see that this is not the case here.

To me QANTAS’ biggest selling point are definitely their crews, which are friendly, properly trained and really do represent ‘the spirit of Australia’.

Have enjoyed reading these reports William, in part as I was in Australia a few months ago and took more or less the same flights (and the Manly ferry!).

As far as thongs go, I wonder if etymologically it stems from the similarity between the thin part in between your toes which in some way resembles the thin part of the bikini in between the butt cheeks. I’m surprised you were not aware of the Qantas lounge rules though; it has been discussed at great length on various airline platforms.