“It’s too early to get accurate numbers, but every indication we’ve gotten was very bad, and that it showed a steep decline from UFC 173, which was among the lower numbers of the last eight years. UFC PPV shows usually range from 200,000 to 500,000 Google searches after the event, and are usually in the top few searched for items in the country. A bad show may only do 100,000. Bellator’s show last month hit 100,000. A big show can top 500,000, with the shows that hover around 1 million buys usually doing anywhere from 1 million to 5 million searches. This show did less than 20,000, unheard of for a PPV…

No, really. Tyron Woodley had an ad for Dude Wipes plastered on his ass (which was intentional placement by Dude Products, makers of Dude Wipes). Within minutes, “Dude Wipes” was trending worldwide on Twitter. What, pray tell, is a Dude Wipe? Here’s the story, according to the founders:

Whether it was some unexpected physical activity or the aftermath of the lunchtime burrito, we realized, as guys, we are destined to smell. Something needed to be done. So on behalf of Dudekind [Editor's note: Ugh] we created The Award Winning Dude Wipes™ to combat stank and put you back on your game wherever or whenever nature calls.

If you’re still wiping with just toilet paper, you’re a chump and your ass hates you for it. Any red-blooded American knows Dude Wipes™ are something you never leave the crib without.

Dude Products even created some promotional material:

Being the disheveled, grubby, low-minded, basement dwelling neckbeards we are, Dude Wipes sounded right up our alley! We wanted to buy a pack of the dudeliest wipes on Earth and review them for all MMA fans. Alas, after making a perilous trek through Father’s Day traffic to FOUR separate stores, we couldn’t find any (and we weren’t asking a clerk to check for fucking Dude Wipes).

So instead of reviewing them ourselves, we’re going to post reviews from Amazon–both positive and negative.

Handling the liveblog for the UFC 174 main card is our own returning champion, Barry “Bear” Siragusa, who will be sticking round-by-round results after the jump beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, follow us on twitter for additional commentary, and remember to send us your immediate Snapchat reactions for a chance to win some Topps UFC Knockout trading cards. Thanks for coming.

After leaving his first seven UFC contests in the hands of the judges, “Mighty Mouse” has scored back-back-finishes of John Moraga and Joseph Benavidez via fifth round submission and first round KO, respectively. Bagautinov, on the other hand, has notched three straight victories over someone, someone else, and John Lineker since entering the UFC back in September of 2013.

As for the rest of UFC 174, well, we’ll just let these random Twitter users break it down…

Before we get into the endless promotion for the year-ending and stacked UFC 168: Weidman vs. Silva 2, let’s take one last, clear-eyed look at what went down at WECUFC on Fox 9. The injury-cursed event seemed destined to be a disappointment to many fans who consider the lighter fighters boring, especially considering it was the lightest fight card in UFC history, with an average weight of just over 145 pounds. The fact that the fights were taking place at the Sleep Train Arena seemed like a bad omen, foretelling the coma-inducing boredom that might have resulted from a night of decisions. Nevertheless, despite the haters, the smaller guys provided a card of highly entertaining fights and they showcased why many MMA purists consider them the most exciting fighters in the sport.

The Good
• Too often, referees only get noticed when they screw up. However, the officials for this card should be praised for a solid night of work in which they did their jobs properly and kept the focus where it belongs: the fighters. Props to John McCarthy, Herb Dean, and Mike Beltran for getting through the 11-fight card with no critical errors. Even Dana White, who has been openly critical of MMA officiating in the past, praised both Big John and Herb Dean, saying, “These are the best guys” and complimented his one-time nemesis, McCarthy, saying, “When John is in that Octagon, he is in absolute and total control.”

Now that the UFC on FOX 9 salaries have been made available, it’d be hard to declare that Johnson isn’t well on his way to achieving the financial security he so desires. The flyweight champ might not be making “Anderson Silva money,” but he managed to bank $175,000 for just two minutes work on Saturday, which makes for a nice chunk of change when combined with that X-box One money he is surely making.

Now 4-0 in 2013 with three submission victories to his credit, Urijah Faber topped the $1,007,000 payroll, banking a cool $200,000 for his second round, SOTN-earning win over Michael McDonald. Dude is looking more and more like Vitor Belfort by the day, so let the year of the Rhino ”The California Kid” continue. Join us after the jump for the full list of disclosed salaries, as well as our thoughts on the payout.

Zach Makovsky defeated Scott Jorgensen via decision. Interestingly enough, Makovsky—a former Bellator champ—didn’t have to prove himself in WSOF to get a shot in the UFC. Funny how things work out like that, isn’t it?

Pat Healy dropped a unanimous decision to Bobby Green. The crowd booed the announcement (or maybe they were saying boo-urns). The decision wasn’t horrible although it was pretty clear Green didn’t win all three rounds (but somehow 2/3 judges thought he did).

Edson Barboza vs. Danny Castillo elevated the card’s energy level. In the first round, Castillo ran over Barboza like a freight train. He floored the Brazilian striker, unleashed vicious ground-and-pound, and nearly choked him out. Somehow, Barboza survived the torrent of offense and even managed to reverse his fortunes in the second round. In that frame, Barboza made use of leg and body kicks to stymie Castillo and nearly finish him. The third round was a little closer and slower-paced. Barboza walked away with a majority decision.

In the last preliminary fight, rising star and late replacement Ryan LaFlare carved up Court McGee‘s face with pinpoint striking. The Long Islander outworked McGee until the third round, where he started to gas a little bit. But LaFlare’s work in the first two rounds was enough to secure a unanimous decision.

(It was then that Demetrious realized his own head was chilly, and the envy built up inside him, poisonous and overwhelming. / Photo via MMAJunkie)

The UFC is setting up shop at the Sleep Train Arena in Sacramento this evening, and while injuries have hacked this card down to a hobbling shell of its former self, we’ll still happily tune in to watch the Team Alpha Male crew defend its home turf on network television. On the docket for this evening: Joseph Benavidez takes another crack at reigning flyweight champ Demetrious Johnson, local legend Urijah Faber takes on 22-year-old bantamweight phenom Michael McDonald, and Chad Mendes looks for his fifth-straight KO/TKO in the featherweight division against Nik Lentz. Plus, Joe Lauzon and Mac Danzig kick off the broadcast in a battle between a guy who collects a lot of bonus money and a guy with no sponsors.

Handling our liveblog for this evening is Aaron Mandel, who will be banging out round-by-round results from the UFC on FOX 9 main card after the jump beginning at 8 p.m. ET / 5 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and let us know how you’re feeling in the comments section.

In just a few minutes, the weigh-ins for UFC on FOX 9 kick off from the Sleep Train Arena in Sacramento. Funny, I didn’t know they named an arena after Francis Carmont, and in America no less (*lights fireworks and releases flock of doves*). If our past few posts about this event are any indication, three fighters will fail to make weight tonight, two fighters will injure themselves backstage, and the entire attending audience will be consumed in a wave of Godzilla’s all-cleansing fire. Seriously, have you guys seen the trailer for the Godzilla remake yet? It looks insane.

Over the weekend, UFC president Dana White revealed that lightweight champion Anthony Pettis had suffered a knee injury in training, but was still expected to defend his belt against Josh Thomson in the main event of UFC on FOX 9 (December 14th, Sacramento). “He’s going to fight,” White said. “For sure.”

Well, not really. UFC officials announced last night that Pettis has pulled out of the match. We have no details on the nature or severity of Showtime’s injury at this time, or if it’s related to the knee injury that pushed Pettis out of UFC 163 back in June. We’ll keep you posted.

The UFC plans to re-book Pettis vs. Thomson when the champ is recovered, but you never know with these things. Thomson was already the second choice for Pettis’s UFC on FOX 9 opponent after TJ Grant had to stay sidelined due to concussion. If Grant is healthy by the time Pettis is, the UFC might just do Pettis vs. Grant like they had originally planned. Meanwhile, Josh Thomson’s immediate future is in limbo, and the famously cursed fighter just saw the biggest opportunity of his career go up in smoke. [Ed. note:We'll start working on his illustrated timeline.]