Feeding to sleep - is it wrong & how do I stop?

03-27-2009, 11:04 AM

Hi. I'm new to attachment parenting - sort of fell into it because my baby just would not let me put her down. We had a difficult first 3 months, but since reading "3 in a Bed" we are all a lot happier. She is now 6 months old, sleeping around 11 hours at night, only waking up 2 or 3 times, and I love having her sleeping next to me. I'm worried though because the majority of the time the only way she falls asleep is at my breast. She will sometimes settle herself if she wakes in the night, but has never fallen asleep at the start of the night on her own. I have occasionally tried feeding her until sleepy but not asleep, but she wriggles and chatters away and winds herself up until she is wide awake and then starts crying. She has always fought sleep and feeding her or walking her in the pushchair are the only ways I can achieve it. I'm confused about whether I'm doing wrong or not. Can anyone give me advice?

well, if it's wrong, then the majority of moms here are in the wrong . bfing your baby to sleep is what mothers have done since the dawn of time. it's the most natural way to cap off the day. continue to follow your instincts and your LO's cues!

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Your doing great! Don't let the naysayers shake your confidence in the way you have decided to parent. ......find yourself a local API group or connect with LLL to create for yourself a more supportive environment.

Many children, if given the choice, prefer to nurse to sleep through the second year and beyond. Nursing is obviously designed to comfort baby and to help baby sleep, and I've never seen a convincing reason why mothers shouldn't use this wonderful "tool" that we've been given.

http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2008/11/30/nighttime-parenting/

http://www.attachmentparenting.org/principles/night.php

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Thank you both for your support. I wasn't sure if it was part of the attachment principles or not (the Sears book I have talks about feeding until sleepy and letting baby settle herself). I have to admit to frequently worrying I'm being a "bad" parent by not following convention, particularly as all the other mums I meet are obsessed with talking about how soon their baby started to sleep through the night. A local support network would help enormously. is there anyone out there in the UK, near Nottingham/Derby who would like to get together?

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feeding your baby to sleep isn't one of the principles, per se, but nurturing your child, following your instincts,bfing as a comforting tool, are all bound up in what it means to practice AP. so if a mom chooses not to nurse to sleep, that's okay, too, as long as the aforementioned ideas are kept in mind. i highly encourage you to read through the 8 Principles. you may find them very empowering and reaffirming that you are not a "bad" parent.