Thursday, October 7, 2010

...and chewing a new piece. Ever eat an old piece of gum for too long, yet you kept chewing that same piece? The flavor was gone. And you have been staring at a new piece in the pack for hours.

Well, when it comes to relationships, it seems as if the gum has lost its flavor, yet we can't seem to spit it out for that new piece. I know what you are thinking...how incredibly shallow is he to compare chewing gum to being in a long term relationship. But really, there is a close paradox between the two. It's a matter of knowing when to let go. Some people do it out of habit. It's just normalcy. But when the taste is gone, it is gone...NO?

I am all about time, and the amount we get in this life. And I will tell ya, it’s a mere blink of the eye and it’s over. Time is a gift, some say...or maybe it’s a curse? It feel's like a tease if you ask me. I want what you all want. Pure joy and happiness. I want high doses of bliss in a bottle of love crack. I want to get strung out on attention. I want be surprised for no reason, just because you wanted to do it for me. Most of all, I want to be looked at the same way you looked at me when we first met. I want stares and smiles, groping and kissing...the kind you need to take a moment and catch your breath. I want the sexy text messages at any given moment of the day. Followed by a horny, go sit down...I’m jumping your face, hello, I'm home greeting.

I want sex on tap...for no other reason than you can't get enough of me.

I want to be inspired every day...I don't want days off, I never want to stop dating, I don't care that we got married and had kids. I want flavor that doesn't stop giving. And from what I’ve noticed, everyone is chewing stale, old gum that stopped giving long ago; only you can't spit it out.

I guess I am the anti- Dr. Phil...the guy that says, “You know what? You had your chance...NEXT!!!”

Don't get me wrong, I believe everyone deserves a chance to get it right...to be heard. And maybe, just maybe, you share the blame in the failure of your relationship. Maybe instead of saying nothing, you should have spoken up sooner and actually put meaning behind what you felt in the first place. I know I am the first to spit out old gum, even before the taste is gone. Lie to me, and I am unforgiving. I guess I come from that school, where you better back up what you believe, or be ready to be walked on.

Let’s be real, relationships aren't what they use to be...or what we were told. And really, who knows what they use to be. I mean, if our grandparents met today, they might very well be divorced. You can't say one way or the other. But for me...what people call hard work, I call being lazy. When did something that used to be so easy for us, become hard work?

No, it's not hard work; you just stopped feeling it...you, or maybe both. I am sorry, but I can't buy into that thought, that relationships are work. But in the beginning, dating wasn't work...wanting to impress someone, that wasn't work. Getting a blow job, in the car one late drunk night...that wasn't work. Getting her preggers, that wasn't work...hell, when you didn't think about it, it was kind of easy, when you want something, it’s all easy. I know some Mom is saying, raising a kid, that’s hard work. But you know what? Shut up...if you are both working together, it’s not hard work; it's a pleasure, a gift.

You know why it’s hard? It's because you really don't want to anymore, at least with that person. And either out of guilt, or obligation, or both, you have to do this tedious act, when you rather do something else. I have an Aunt, who last year said, who says you always have to be happy? And I love her, I really do...but I felt kind of sad for her. And she is a God-loving woman, but you have to wonder if she just gave up at some point, and has accepted her fate in life’s choices.

If you are reading this, and don't like what you are reading...and starting to believe I am just some commitment-phobe, well, you would be wrong. I want more than any one you will ever meet...to have happily ever after. In saying that, I won't make it up as I go, if I made a mistake and the gum/relationship, has lost its flavor, then it’s time to spit it out, and chew a new piece. Because in my heart of hearts, I believe that we can always fix the now. But we can't go back, and say...coulda-shoulda-woulda.

In closing, life is short...so much so, it should be a crime. We only get one shot at this thing we call life. And if we don't put importance on it, then who will? How many of you have a friend who put effort into their marriage or relationship, only to be left holding the bag once they found someone else who is that new piece of gum? Maybe, you are that friend.

It's that, "beating a dead horse to death" analogy...only some of you are not just beating the horse, you are shocking it, giving it mouth to mouth, grabbing its balls and pulling...cherry picking the poor fucking dead horse. But it's dead. And so is your relationship. Dude cheated, he has ignored your cries for help...he has verbally abused you,he doesn't help out. Is that what you signed up for? If your relationship is starting to taste like old gum, maybe it’s time to let it go.