Thank you all for your kind wishes regarding Pops and his ill health. As regular readers, you all know how much he, and my mum, means to me.

Well, I went with my gut instinct.

I received a message in the early hours of Sunday morning to say a CT scan was required and possible surgery.

My mind was made.

We deposited the children with their other grandparents, and Hubby Dearest and I rushed (as fast as you can rush in the heat, and on a three-hour motorway journey where the M1 will inevitably have roadworks and traffic) up to Birmingham.

And I am so glad I am here with him now.

He looked so tiny when I got here. This wasn’t the vibrant Pops I knew.

The anaesthetic and morphine had him in a muggy daze and for the first couple of hours, he kept on waking up, and saying hello, not registering that we had been there a while.

He was very pale, but a welcome pale from the almost jaundiced yellow he had been the day before.

It appears (though this is not conclusive) that there may have been an ulcer caused by regular long-term medication that burst, causing a perforation, or tear in the bowel. The possibility of gastroenteritis from a few days before may have aggravated the issue, causing the tear, and then subsequent seepage into his body from the bowel, that created the extreme pain he had been suffering.

Long story short – he needed major surgery to remove the torn section of bowel, and then rejoin it all, and drain the unneccesary ‘stuff’ (yes, technical medical term there!) from around it.

The surgeon said the bowel was so red and inflamed it was angry, or ‘vexed’ in his words.

He was wired up to all sorts, tube in his nose, oxygen mask on, catherer in, various IV drips with saline and antibiotics…

But the surgery went well, straightforward, they said.

He regained a little colour before we left, but he was still really groggy.

I made the decision then that I need to be with him for a few days at least.

So, here I am, tapping into my Surface whilst he dozes by my side.

He looks wonderful (well, as wonderful as you can with tubes everywhere) a smile on his face when I arrived. It warmed my heart ❤

He’s taken a few steps and is on fluids only still at the moment, but he has definitely turned a corner… a huge one!

My heartfelt thanks to the NHS team too, who have been so amazing since he was admitted. They are always around with a smile on their faces, nothing is ever too much of a big job for them, and if you can spare a smile and politeness for these angels, they will always go that extra mile, without question.

And so, I found Ronovan’s prompt words, Old & Days, a good prompt for a little Pops based Haiku, to celebrate this time we have together, chatting in between his dozes…

Nothing better than
Spending days with our eldersOld wisdom passed on

Ritu 2018

It wasn’t all bad though, yesterday. There is something else I want to share… but I’ll save that for another post!

Now, I’m no footy fan, but when it comes to international tournaments like this, the patriotism kicks in and I have to sneak a peak at the results mid game, or secretly actually watch the whole thing!

Pops is alone at the moment, as Mum is eagerly awaiting the arrival of grandchild number four at my brother’s place.

He told me he’d be going to watch the match at my cousin’s house.

No worries. At least he wouldn’t be on his own.

As I mentioned before, that match was just amazing! Tension beyond belief! And it ended up in extra time, followed by penalties, and at the very last kick and save, we WON!

The country went crazy. The first time England had gone through on penalties in the World Cup. Ever!

And by the time all the coverage was winding down, it was past 10 pm.

Whenever my mum is away, Pops calls me, or messages me to let me know he is on his way home from the yoga classes he teaches, or that he has arrived home safely.

I waited a while, left him a message, and drifted off to sleep.

Morning came, and as I checked my phone, it struck me that Pops hadn’t called, messaged or anything.

Strange.

Not to worry. He may have just been tired so went straight to bed.

Then I checked his WhatsApp status. It showed he hadn’t looked at his messages since before 8pm the night before.

That was a bit concerning. He will always check that before retiring for the night.

I called the home land line. No answer.

Okay, still things could be okay. He might be in the shower or maybe doing his prayers.

After a few moments of holding myself back, I called his mobile.

It rang for a while but then he answered. Thank God.

But with a very weak voice.

That’s not my Pops…

“Hello Beta, sorry, I didn’t call you last night, I was in hospital…”

Wait – WHAT???

Apparenty he’d been en route to my cousin’s house, and experienced extreme dizziness and sickness. He’d stopped the car, vomited, then continued the journey, where his stomach began to cramp continuously.

Now, my Pops doesn’t complain about his own discomfort at all, heck, when he was suffering a heart attack, he didn’t allow the doctor to call an ambulance from his local GP surgery, instead, saying, “Don’t worry, I’ll just walk back home and do it myself”… whilst having a heart attack!

But this time it was bad, so my cousin called the ambulance and they admitted him for a few hours. There were ECG’s and heart check ups, blood tests and all mapper of investigations.

Thankfully it all came back clear, though his pain hadn’t subsided in his abdomen. He was diagnosed with acute gastroenteritis. So a horrible tummy bug, that may be from a germ in his gut, or eating contaminated food somewhere.

But I was devastated this morning.

Why hadn’t I been called?

I was nowhere near him

What if something had happened to him?

Then I was equally thankful.

He didn’t want me to be contacted late at night – what would I have done, other than rush over, causing more worry, on a long distance drive?

We are lucky to have such an amazing extended family – even though I am not there, Pops doesn’t want me rushing over, he is with my cousin, who is like another daughter to him, and her own sons and daughter-in-law are with him 24/7

Nothing serious did happen to him. I know he is groggy from the morphine shots for the pain, but aside from that and not being able to eat properly yet, he is fine. The test results showed a healthy heart and all other organs, so something to be hugely thankful for.

It’s equally tough for my mum, brother and sister-in-law. They are even further than me. We all worry, constantly, but thank heavens for those angels we have to rely upon.

I’ve spoken to Pops several times over the day, banned him from taking the Yoga classes for a few days – the students can manage without him for a while – and he is staying with my cousin for a good few days yet. I’ll go and see him on the weekend, as he told me not to rush over. In fact, if I go now, he’ll tell me off!

Mum has been in touch a few times too. We are mutually reassuring each other that he is fine – a little weak, but fine.

My cousin, her daughter-in-law and my other cousin have all called me to convince me he is okay too.

I know, deep down, that he is okay, but it really hit home today.

Our oldies, they aren’t immortal, as much as we’d like them to be… Pops and Mum, they are my inspirations. They are the reason I am here, and responsible for making me the person I am. I love them so much. I can’t bear the thought of life without them.

And so, I leave you with this thought:

Love your elders now. Respect them now. Talk to them now.

Don’t wait until it’s too late, when the only love you can show is flowers on a gravestone, the only respect you can show is remembrance services, and the only talk you can have consists of their memories…

Mothers day, or Mothering Sunday, is here in the UK, on March 11th this year.

It’s a time to show your appreciation for that wonderful woman who put you here on this earth.

But like Valentine’s Day, why should there be just one day when we show our love, and gratitude to these fantastic females?

I would like to celebrate my mum every day. She has been a rock throughout my life, and I’m sure will continue to be one for many years to come.

Recently I have had many people comment on how much I am looking like my mum. I don’t just want to look like her, I want to be like her too!

There is usually a bit of a thing from hubby to wife isn’t it? “Your getting like your mother!” Well Hello!!! If I am anything like my mother, you are one lucky man!!

She is the calmest person in all situations, she’s handled some crazy ones, and always carries herself with great aplomb.

She is a most amazing cook! I feel privileged to have grown up with her cuisine, she has encouraged my brother and I to try and learn from her too.

She taught me simplicity is best. I credit my good skin to her not smothering herself in makeup when I was little, and so not being too fussed about it myself, on a day to day basis.

She brought us up with fairness, and though there was the chance, she didn’t spoil us. Instead both her and my Pops made sure we had all we need to life a comfortable life.

Her patience is never ending!

She’s kinda cuckoo, in a good way, she knows how to laugh at herself!

She is a marvellous grandma to our children too!

Her way of talking to people means that almost everyone is at ease with her, and she is a confidante to many.

She knows how to handle family!

She is a wonderful Mother-in-Law, ask my Sister-In-Law!

She has an infinite amount of love for us all.

When I was younger, I’d look at her and be kinda mad, jealous, even. Her eyes are this beautiful light brown, and mine, that plain old dark brown of your average Indian. Instead of me inheriting them, her niece got them!

She had the long straight hair which my brother got, I got the wild frizzy curls courtesy of my Pops.

She got the naturally amazing shaped eyebrows, I got caterpillars. And she had non existent hair in legs… Me… The opposite!

But I did get her curves. And for that I am grateful!

And, even without certain physical features of hers, I really do look like her! In fact I was looking at old pictures from her school and college days, and had to do a double take. What was my picture doing in her old album?! She laughed and said ” No beta (child), that was me!”

Now I’m a wife, daughter-in-law and mother myself, I fully appreciate how much my mum has given of herself, how much of herself she has devoted to her children and family. I don’t think I am capable of doing all she has done but if I am half the mum she was and is, I know I’ll be amazing!So thank you Mum,For all you’ve done.For all you’ve helped me through.I couldn’t find Another kindOf mum, like you, it’s true.Ritu 2015

Third Best Overall Blogger 2018

Blog Stats

Poetic Rituals

Honoured to get an Honourable Mention! I’m a TUFF Rodeo Rider!

About me

I'm a working mum of 2, wife to a great hubby and generally like to talk too much, so waffling on my blog is probably a good idea as I can talk/write and if you wanna listen/read you can, if not, scroll on!