Why I Hate Being Gay! 62 Reasons!

You know: "You assume the Super Bowl is a large household item at Pottery Barn. ... Your entire wardrobe consists of male designers having a midlife crisis ...

"You spend your whole life fighting for rights you don't even want for yourself. (Marriage and the military? Blech! No thanks!) ... Gym was the bane of your entire childhood, but now you spend $1,350 a year on it ..."

And on and on, till you'll be kvetching along with me in perfect harmony.

Most of the items have to do with the oppression one still faces, but some of them stem from the icky behavior of LGBTs themselves.

Not me, mind you.

I'm all decked out and ready to celebrate Pride with banners on (literally).

But before we get there, read my bilious bag of hate and then we can start afresh, palates all cleansed.