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So after writing this post, I went to a store called "spandex world" and bought some spandex fabric and stretch lace to make prettier shorts. I made some black ones with purple and black lace, and some "nude" ones with nude lace. I even put little bows on one pair to make them look vintage-esque. They make me feel really cute, comfy and confident! I want to make more in more colors, but it's almost tights-season, so I'll hold off till spring. And hopefully I'll lose more weight by then!

posted 19 Sep 2012, 18:12

Who here does weight training as their workout?
When I moved into my new apartment, the previous tenant had left a weight bench, barbell, and weights. The weight bench was held together with duct tape and looked really scary, so I threw it away... but I kept the weights and barbell and have tried to incorporate them into my weekly exercise. It's really hard though, and I don't know what I'm doing, so I usually keep it light.

I gained a bunch of weight my first year of graduate school, and when summer came around I went on a date at the Bronx Zoo, where I had my first thigh-chaffing experience from walking around bare-legged in a (totally cute!) dress. So I spent that summer pathetically poor, walking home 30+ blocks from my temp job to save on subway fare (and hopefully lose weight, but no...). I tried rubbing deodorant there, but it didn't last, and so it was very painful to walk by the end of the day.

And the worst part is I didn't even dare to talk to anyone about it because I was so ashamed at having gained weight so quickly. (It's weird how I wasn't ashamed to tell everyone I walked home 30 blocks a day out of sheer pennilessness-- like being poor is some glorified grad school rite of passage, but weight gain is shameful and unmentionable.)

SO NOW, a year later, through google searches, I discovered that some women wear biker shorts under their skirts and dresses to eliminate chaffing. As soon as I discovered this, I sewed my first pair of biker shorts (from spandex scraps leftover from when I sewed my own swimsuit). And they WORKED! No more chaffing! and I can walk all day without any pain! (until my feet hurt, of course...)

So lately, I have been exercising and losing weight, and therefore less afraid to talk to my girlfriends about things I was ashamed of at 165 lbs. And it turns out, MANY of my girlfriends also wear biker shorts to prevent chaffing, and many of them are also embarrassed to tell anyone. So I started to feel totally normal about wearing them...

AND THEN my boyfriend saw them. Now to be fair, he didn't comment, and I doubt he even cared, since things were getting frisky for him... But still, I was mortified that he saw me in these, and I felt very un-sexy. Even though he has weight and chaffing issues of his own, which he often complains about shamelessly.

And so I guess I wanted to share this on here, because it's crazy that it took me so long to discover this solution, and it's crazy that so many women do this, but never talk about it. And it's crazy that I'm ashamed to talk to my boyfriend about it, even when he is open about his own chaffing. And it's really crazy that I feel less sexy, even though I'm in less pain. WHY DOESN'T ANYONE EVER TALK ABOUT CHAFFING?

posted 13 Aug 2012, 21:43

Losing my Thesis Thirty!
I just finished my graduate thesis! Yay! But after 2 years of grad school, I've gained a lot of weight. I kept telling myself that my schoolwork was more important than looking good, and I really stopped taking care of myself physically. Now I want to change that and be healthy.

For the past few weeks I've been doing jumping jacks and push-ups almost every morning, going for walks in the afternoon. And on Monday of this week I started keeping a "journal" of things like what I eat, what time I eat, how much exercise I do. I've been feeling really great about being able to push myself to do more push-ups, jumping jacks, aerobics, etc. I already look a tiny bit toned and have more energy!

But today I bought a scale.

I already hate it. All my good feelings about myself went away as soon as I read the number. I guess that's how I ended up here. I mean, I didn't start exercising and eating better to change a number on a circle, I did it to be healthier and look better and feel better... but ggggrrrrrrrrrrrr! That number!!!

I'm 24, I'm pretty, I'm in a great long-term relationship (with a guy who loves me and loves my body), I have lots of friends who I see on a regular basis, I'm somewhat successful (if we don't count student loans), and I have tons of hobbies that keep me busy and fulfilled. I'm a happy person! I have a great life!