Rape survivor on why we need rape to be shown realistically on TV

Emily JacobIdiosyncratic dreamer of a better world, solopreneur, coach, NLPer, working on reconnecting her life. Rape survivor using her skills and experience to help guide others. Founder of www.reconnected.lifeThursday 29 Sep 2016 2:25 pm

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In the last few weeks I’ve written about storylines running in Eastenders and Hollyoaks that bring the subject of rape, of consent, of justice, higher into the nation’s consciousness.

These storylines are hugely important. They challenge the myths that pervade society by exposing the reality of what is happening: women get blamed, girls get shamed, while boys and men often get away with it.

Most often, when rape is depicted in film or TV, it is used to titillate, to create drama, to add ‘depth’ to character, or to create a character ‘arc.’

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Programmes like Law and Order: Special Victims Unit highlight the difficulties in getting convictions, and the way survivors are often blamed for ‘asking for it’ – but they don’t show the survivor point of view; the survivor is merely the plot device for the episode.

EastEnders focused on the aftermath for Dean’s victims (Picture: BBC)

Other programmes, like Game Of Thrones, or Downton Abbey, have been rightly criticised for including rape scenes that are there for no apparent reason except perhaps to appeal to the visual of seeing a beautiful woman overpowered by a stronger man, an eroticising of the act.

Downton Abbey’s rape of Anna turned into merely an opportunity to showcase how Mr Bates should take ‘his’ revenge.

There are very few mainstream TV shows that shine a light on the survivor experience. Even two of my favourite shows, Veronica Mars and Jessica Jones (which have far more in common than detectives and cast members), use the eponymous heroine’s prior rape as the plot point that gives them their kickarse strength.

Neither Veronica nor Jessica seem unduly affected beyond it having toughened them up and giving them a purpose to search for revenge and justice.

In Scandal, another favourite of mine, the purpose of Mellie’s rape back story is to invoke sympathy for an otherwise (at that point) unlikeable character.

It’s frustrating that Mellie’s depth comes from the rape by her father-in-law, rather than being allowed to have character depth from her driving ambition alone (even in the hands of the wonderful Shonda Rhimes, women don’t seem allowed to have agency without needing sympathy too).

For some, it raises some uncomfortable memories and is triggering. For others, they wish he didn’t have other character ‘flaws’, using sex workers, and having affairs; they would prefer him to have an otherwise ‘squeaky clean’ character to demonstrate that rapists can be otherwise upstanding.

But, just as rape victims are individual and complex, so are rapists. Because we’re all humans, and humans don’t fit a straightforward mould.

Personally, I am withholding judgement on the programme until it finishes but, so far, I would like to see more focus on the survivors themselves, who are as yet mere photographs in a situation room…

And yet. Rape is so very common, it would be unrealistic for TV shows to have no characters that haven’t experienced it.

85,000 women are raped in this country every year.

1 in 6 of us will have been raped in our lifetime.

The UN puts this figure at 1 in 3 worldwide. The lived experience of the survivor needs to be shown.

Our responses are individual. Our responses are complex.

When society understands that there is no ‘one right way’ for a survivor to respond, then perhaps change will happen.