Archive of Davey Mac Reports!

It’s your April Eighth Davey Mac Report and tonight is the NCAA Championship Game, dogsies, and we are as excited as a fart coming out of a butt. Louisville goes against Michigan for all the marbles, daddy. Personally, I’m pulling for Coach Pitino because I loved his performance as Phil Spector in that new HBO movie. It was awesome when Pitino was talking about producing John Lennon’s songs and shit. But, I’m still not sure that I believe Pitino when he said he didn’t shoot that woman. Oh…and also…I really liked Pitino as Big Boy in Dick Tracy.

I will say this- it is a very good omen for Pitino that on the day that his team is playing in the National Championship, he has also been inducted into the Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame. If Louisville wins tonight, that will be one HECK of a day for Pitino. Pardon my French. That kind of language was uncalled for. I should have said, “Tonight will be one jizz-slurp of a cum-tastic dick for Rick Pitino.” That’s better.

Another question that shall arise for this evening’s game is, “Will Chris Webber be in the building?” It is twenty years since Weber’s Fab Five Michigan team lost the championship to North Carolina after Webber called a timeout when his team had zero timeouts left. The mental error resulted in a technical foul that sealed up the game for Carolina. Webber has tried to distance himself from his infamous mistake by not doing interviews about the play nor appearing anywhere with the rest of the Fab Five. I, for one, think he should be there tonight. Though, in full disclosure, I do not always give the best advice. After all, I’m the same guy who convinced my friend Bucky to put a nail in his dick-hole, talked Shelley Long into leaving Cheers, and got Gordon Ramsay to put a dish on his menu called “Dave’s Pubes.”

The Davey Mac Player(s) of the Day goes to The Cuertos, my phenomenal rock band, who played on my show at Sirius XM Satellite Radio this past Saturday and fucking KILLED it. The episode is available in the Sirius XM On Demand section, so check it out!! In the meantime, I’m gonna shit. Adios!!