Shock as footballer sleeps with own wife

As former Pop Tart, “Snooty Spice” announces that she is having a baby girl, the return of husband “Golden Balls” Beckham to English football may be thrown into jeopardy.
Fans were shocked to realise that Beckham, while in Europe last year, must have snuck back to his family home and slept with his own wife. “This is not the sort of behaviour we expect in the English Premier League” said a commentator. “Living a happy family life is bad enough but not putting it about a bit given the opportunity is simply unacceptable in the modern game”.
With no concept of irony, a spokesman for the Beckams said that they were sticking together through thick and thin.