Police in St. Petersburg, Florida, yesterday arrested two men for apparent criminal damage to a hotels swimming pool. It was alleged that the duo threw their own faeces around in the pool, at one point even swimming to the bottom to smear it around in the form of a giant “X.”

Strangely enough, the charges brought against 18-year-old Andrew Harris and 19-year-old Michael Cline are commercial burglary. According to reports, the pair were caught on security camera carrying out their dirty deed. Police have stated that Harris actually pooped in his own pants, reached in, pulled out his own goo, and threw it around the pool. ……. Twice

The two were later found in the hotel Jacuzzi.

The hotel says the anal attack will cost thousands.

The pair of turd – terrorists have been remanded in custody awaiting trial and were unavailable for comment last night, although the legal representative assigned to them read out a statement saying that his clients believe they have been have been involved in a smear campaign.