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Thursday, January 15, 2009

Have you ever been in a situation that reminded you of someone you know, at a totally inappropriate moment? That happened to me today when I thought about Bejewell.

I went for an ultrasound this morning (no, not that kind!). When I got into the exam room, the tech told me my doctor ordered two different scans, one abdominal and one v@ginal. Yippee! If you've never had an internal ultrasound, the wand is like a vibrat@r for newbies only not nearly as fun.

So, after the outside ultrasound, I had to use the loo so as not to pee on the table for the internal exam. I got undressed, stretched out, and the tech smeared me up. (Side note: sincere thanks to whomever designed the gel warmer thingy.) Despite being female and having the same ladyparts, she couldn't find the, um, entrance and I had to insert the wand myself. Yeah, I know!

I'm staring at the ceiling while the tech is moving the wand around. Left, right, up and down like a vajajay joystick. Despite having an empty bladder, my discomfort is growing and I'm sure my uterus and ovaries were all, "the hell?" And the more the tech stirs my innards the more pressure I feel until I'm scared I might toot. Which made me think of the "musical fruit" song from when we were kids, and that made me think of Beej.

Which? Totally made me want to laugh. But I couldn't because I was worried the muscle contractions would force the joystick out AND make me toot. So I had to try and hold in my laughter and gas at the same time which, let me tell you, was not easy.

Now that I have embarrassed myself and potentially lost a friend, it's your turn! Where have you been that made you think of someone even though the circumstances had zero to do with the person?

I am laughing still at this one. I have had these every time I was pregnant, well, with the last two babies. The first time I saw that thing I also thought...what the heck is that and where are you....oh, oh, ok?! A warning would have been great. Anyway girl, you rock, too funny.

About Melanie

Melanie Sheridan is an Southern California lifestyle blogger who writes about her life as a
stay at home mom turned work at home mom. She married her high school
sweetheart 15 years ago and they share one amazing kid. She is an avid
reader, shoe slut, Twitter addict, chocolate fiend, newbie photographer,
closet gadget girl, wannabe foodie, late iAdopter, recovering
shopaholic and a Pinning Fool. Melanie is very active in San Diego's
social media community and freelances with small business owners.