Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Beaver Queen Pageant - Meet the Judges

You've probably seen, or at least heard of, our next judge as you learn more about how things really work in our town. Doc Beaver is truly an asset to the lodge.

Doc Beaver -- knows a healthy Beaver when he sees one.

Doc Beaver was born on the banks of the Potomack River, in the Chesapeake watershed. (Mom and dad Beaver made him the night Soviet Beaver Khrushchev was pounding his shoe at the United Nations on the East River.) As a young pup, Doc Beaver paddled up many rivers including the the Nile, the Yangtze, the Seine, the St Lawrence, and the Congo. Today, he lives in a wonderful pond called Old West Beaver in the Ellerbe watershed. Doc has worked with other beavers to stop the asphalt industry from building stinky asphalt plants near beaver wetlands, the DOT from building stinky Eno Loop over beaver lodges, and Devil University from building lots of stinky stores next to little local beaver shops. Next thing is to stop the billboard industry from erecting big, bright, stinky electronic billboards flashing 10,000 ads/day along the Beaver-Bull City's busiest byways.

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Since 1949, Durhamites have slept soundly, secure in the knowledge that, in our town, erection can be depended upon. Now, thanks to the power of the internets, we can spread that security all over the world.