‘Throwback Thursday’ hurts friend with new nose

Annie Lane

Dear Annie: “Lisa,” a friend with whom I went to high school, got rhinoplasty — aka a nose job — between high school and college. Don’t ask me why; I think she had a beautiful face beforehand, but that’s a tale for another letter. I’m writing to you about a disagreement that’s come up between her and me recently.

I love posting “Throwback Thursday” photos on social media. I do it pretty much every Thursday. Lisa and I were basically attached at the hip in high school, so naturally, a lot of my pictures include her. They also include her old nose — and this is what Lisa takes issue with.

One time, after I made a post, she texted me, “Take that down!” I thought she was joking, so I laughed off her text. About a month later, I posted another photo that she was in. Then she sent me a much longer text, saying I had disrespected her wishes and made her feel embarrassed. I told her I never meant to make her feel bad — that those old photos make me feel happy, which is why I share them. I thought we reached an understanding. A few months later, I posted a group photo, which she was in. That’s when she went nuclear. Now she’s not speaking to me. Annie, was I wrong? — Thrown Off

Dear Thrown Off: When you look at these photos, you see snapshots of fond memories. When your friend looks at these photos, all she sees are “before” pictures. That’s a shame. It seems that she is still carrying a lot of insecurity about her looks and her surgery. Let’s hope she makes peace with that. If you want to keep peace with her until then, avoid posting old photos of just her or the two of you. It is her likeness, after all, and not every memory needs to be shared with the whole world. Sometimes it’s better to treasure them privately.

Dear Annie: “Not a Trash Eater” complained about her husband’s remark that she could retrieve a tomato core from the trash and suck on it if she was that upset at him for throwing it in the trash. And here I was thinking she was going to complain that he had put the core in the trash rather than the compost. Tomayto, tomahto?

In any case, tomato cores are considered safe to eat, but many of us have been trained to remove the core. Regardless of one’s preferences, their disagreement could be respectfully discussed and perhaps lead to some positive changes. — Composter

Dear Composter: I’m printing your letter because composting is a great option for making use of organic food scraps. According to Berkeley Wellness, 95 percent of food scraps end up in landfills. Composting is a much better option for the environment — and a great way to generate rich soil for your garden. For more information, visit https://www.epa.gov/recycle/composting-home.

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Dear Annie is written by Annie Lane, a young, married mother of two. Send questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.