Giving (good) head – CliffNotes

Watching porn is part of my job (ahhh… I love my job). Unfortunately, so much of it is crap. Today, after my eyes glazed over during the seventh porn movie excuse of a blow job, I got the intense urge to throw popcorn and yell at the screen… but I’ll write this remedial blow job post instead. My neighbor doesn’t like to hear loud sex advice in the middle of the night (actually, she complained about screaming… but that’s another story).

1) Look ma, no hands – WRONG

So many porn scenes have a girl cluelessly bobbing for apples, her hands behind her back. Hey ladies, why do you think humans evolved the opposable thumbs? Use them! Even if you’re a circus sword swallower and have no gag reflex whatsoever, hands come in… handy.

Gently run them up the inside of his thighs. Play with his balls – some men love the slightest rubbing, others considerable pressure or tugging (go easy at first – nothing kills a tender moment like a wrong move down there). A good number of men find a gentle stroking of the back of the balls, about 2/3 of the way down, very enjoyable.

Circle the base of the penis with your fingers, gently but firmly squeeze, and move your hand a little following the movement of your mouth. This acts like a cock ring – he’ll be bigger, harder and more sensitive to other things you do.

Don’t be afraid to explore between his legs. Some men love if you play with their ass, and the perineum (space between the balls and the anus) is also a sensitive area – a little press-stroke-release play here can feel very good.

Follow the up and down movement of your mouth with your hand, especially if you’re afraid you’d hurt him with your teeth if you close your jaws too much.

2) He’s not your dentist (mouth play)

Even if he is, he’s not *now*. Opening wide will not work. Make sure your teeth are safely tucked behind your lips, then close your mouth around his shaft. Squeeze. Make sure your lips and everything else is nicely wet and slippery. Use your tongue to make it even tighter – it’s a stronger muscle than the muscles of your lips and you can apply a considerable pressure right where it feels the best, the underside of his penis.

Mouth and tongue are incredibly sensitive, finely tuned and versatile instruments. Use them in all the ways they’re meant to be used. Sucking is only one of the options. Squeezing, licking gently or firmly (the spot about an inch and a half under the head, underside, is very sensitive), sliding your mouth all the way down and up again all feel great.

3) Deep throat or not?

Contrary to the popular belief, being a deep throat queen will not make you an automatic blow job master. Some men prefer to have all the attention focused on the upper third of their penis, with your hands on the rest of the shaft. Some like a combination of the two – deep strokes in the beginning, more shallow later, or the other way around.

Have you ever seen your darlin’ masturbate? (Great fun!) You should – nothing can give you as good an idea what kind of stimulation he likes as watching him pleasure himself. Observe what he does in the beginning, middle, and what gets him off at the end. Then, use this with plenty of embellishments – the idea is not to get him off as fast as possible, but as well as possible.

Many men like to finish with plenty of stimulation on the upper third and the head of the penis. If you can’t deep throat (an acquired skill – practice makes perfect), you might want to stay there at the end, as this area doesn’t get much pressure in the main cavity of your mouth.

Extra credit: If you’re comfortable going deep, there’s another little trick to drive him wild: swallow. Not just when he finishes either – swallowing motions create a delightful pulsating pressure on the most sensitive bits. Another way to do it is by sharp, repeated pressure such as you get when you pronounce the letter “K”. Try it now and see what it does to your throat and tongue… nice and tight, eh? Doing this right before orgasm can make him go over in a blink ;-).

4) Variety is great – to the point

Going on and on and on like a robot doesn’t feel good when he does it to you – it’s not too much fun the other way around either. Blow jobs should be fun for both of you – it’s play, not duty. So, play! Explore, test new moves, go from gentle to abandon. Until his toes curl and his eyes bug out. Once he’s on the point of no return, keep doing whatever you’re doing. Not more, not less, not something else. Unless you’re both into the “ruined orgasm” shtick.

5) To tease or not to tease

… that is a question. Some people love it if you bring them to the edge a couple of times before the “big finale”. For others, it’s incredibly irritating. In my own personal experience, even the protesting gentlemen build to bigger, better orgasms if you make them wait a little bit, as long as you pause in plenty of time. But then, I love to torture men :-).

6) Eye contact

Most men like to see you looking back at them while you’re giving them head. Doesn’t have to be all the time – just glance up every once in a while. If you’re afraid of looking like an idiot (“sucking face” seen from above can make a girl look like a raccoon-eyed alien mosquito. Eeeek!), remember, he won’t care. If you’re still uncomfortable, smile a little – this puts your face back into its normal configuration. Smiling is nice anyway. It encourages the fella.

7) Where did it all go?

If you like to swallow, great! Yes, it’s acquired taste, but so is wine, coffee and brie. Yum. If you don’t like to swallow, but you’re ok with the taste, you can let it drip down your chin, down his cock, or any other interesting places – seeing you down there completely messy with his cum is a powerfully erotic image.

For God’s sake, don’t make a disgusted face and spit like a cat with a can of bad tuna. Better not to let him finish in your mouth at all.

Some men love it when you share a big sloppy kiss afterward (I love doing it – the taste of his kiss and his pleasure, mingled… mmmm). Many others will run away screaming at the thought of it. It depends on how comfortable they feel with their own bodies & sexuality, I guess. Always ask first.

Extra credit: Even if you do swallow, it may be fun to sometimes do otherwise – asking your partner before the festivities begin in a sultry, sexy voice “Where would you like to cum this time?” will give him a hot image to think about during the blow job. If you don’t like the choice, it’s easier to negotiate at this point without ruining the mood.

8) The truth

… will tell. Ultimately, how much pleasure there is in a blow job as well as any other things sexual depends on how much both parties enjoy it and like each other (doesn’t have to be the undying love, but liking surely helps). What you actually do can be learned through exploration and honest talk. It’s better to honestly state your preferences and then go suckin’ away with joyful abandon within those limits, then quietly and resentfully go through the motions.

*A note – I’m a girl, so I don’t have the first hand experience, just a statistical overview of satisfied “customers”. If you know a special thing that makes your or your partner’s toes curl, add a comment by all means.

3 thoughts on “Giving (good) head – CliffNotes”

You whore! I had never heard about the ‘k’ sound and I’ve sucked quite a few dicks in my time.

One other thing: As your mouth (and tongue and hands) goes up on the shaft, give a little hook upwards and away with your head to apply a little greater pressure on the urethra/vas deferens area on the underside of the shaft.

Technically, that little spot on the underneath side of the shaft right below the base of the glans is the only area that needs to be stimulated to make a man cum, although, of course, total coverage is pure ecstasy.