Episode 1 is titled, “The Shades of It All” and the ‘housewives’ all return with new storylines and brand new taglines to match:

Phaedra Parks – “Only God can judge me… and he seems quite impressed.”
Cynthia Bailey – “Seasons may change, but Cynthia Bailey never goes out of style.”
Kandi Burruss – “I’m a hit maker… and this year I will reveal the best one.”
Porsha Williams – “I’m about to give you life, so stay out of my way.”
Kenya Moore – “Don’t come for me, unless I twirl for you.”

Bravo synopsis:

Kandi and Todd get exciting news during a visit with Dr. Jackie; Cynthia discovers a viral video of Peter in a compromising position; Cynthia throws an event to celebrate the launch of her eyewear line; Shereè’s return causes a stir.

Recap + watch full episode below…

VIDEO: RHOA 0801

Kandi Shares the Joys of Pregnancy…

Kandi Burruss and her husband Todd Tucker are finally welcoming a new addition to their extended family.

Having gone the route of in vetro fertilizaton, Kandi and Todd are almost at the finish line but during a routine appointment with OB/GYN Dr. Jackie (Married to Medicine), Kandi learns that she has to scale back a few of her entrepreneurial ventures.

“Any time you’re over 35 years old, they say it’s a high-risk pregnancy,” Kandi says in her confessional.

Kandi also suffers from fibroid tumors, so she’s aware that she has to take it easy. When asked about a sex preference, Kandi admits that she and Todd would like a boy since they already have two daughters.

“I’m not going to lie,” Kandi reveals in her confessional. “If we have a girl, we’re probably gonna try again.”

Porsha Gets ‘Booked’…

Porsha snatched her peach back from boring Claudia Jordan and she also snagged man to keep her company after her divorce.

Williams is finally back as a full-time housewife and it seems she’s got it all…. A radio profession that’s going well for her (DishNation ratings have increased during her tenure as host), and she’s ditched last season’s rumored African prince/sugar daddy for a chance to become a ‘sugar mama’ to a much younger boo: Duke Williams, the Buffalo Bills football player who just happens to be 10 years her junior.

The pair apparently met when Duke contacted Porsha via her booking information on Instagram. While most of us know how it goes down in the DM, apparently Porsha is green to the hookup mentality of the ‘gram and feels that Duke is serious about a relationship. So much so, that she already wants him to meet her family. *sigh*

At the time of the taping Duke was seeing several reality show stars and he and Porsha have since gone their separate ways. I’m not sure why Porsha felt he was ‘the one’ but I guess we’ll find out as the season continues.

Peter’s Cheating Scandal Surfaces…

Cynthia Bailey’s husband, Peter Thomas, was caught on tape last Summer in what appeared to be a compromising position with a ‘friend’ at his bar (click HERE if you missed that).

Needless to say, Cynthia isn’t too happy about her marriage being the topic of conversation amongst her peers so she has a heart to heart with her hubby about the situation.

Thomas maintains his innocence and asks his wife to take a closer look at the video.

“I was having a conversation with the person. I leaned over,” he tries to reason. “I know her. She ain’t trying to f—k me, and I’m not trying to f—k her.”

“You know how these girls talk!” Cynthia snaps. “Now you just gave them a reason to open up their wide mouths again.”

Clearly Peter & Cynthia’s marital issues will be their storyline this season and Bailey’s sister, Mallory is on hand to lend support.

Kenya steals yet another idea…

Kenya Moore has been ’employed’ with RHOA for about 3 seasons now but she has yet to secure permanent housing. As you know, she was evicting from her rental home the first season (click HERE if you missed that) and everybody knows that Kenya only ‘lives’ in Atlanta when RHOA is taping.

I guess she wants us to believe that’s changing now that she’s stolen Sheree Whitfield’s ‘Chateau Sheree’ idea by buying a hell hole of her own.

Kenya takes Cynthia to her new house, which ironically is only 500 feet away from Chateau Sheree — the massive mansion that former housewife Sheree Whitfield never got around to finishing. As her new ‘neighbor,’ Kenya vows to Cynthia that she will make nice with Sheree.

“She might need to borrow some coffee from me, or some money for a light bill,” Kenya reasons.

For the record, Moore’s house isn’t in any better shape than Sheree’s and it’s clear her ‘fixer-upper’ has way more ‘fixin’ to do than Sheree’s 1,000 year construction project.

“Who were the previous owners, Freddie Kreuger or Jason?” Cynthia jokes in her confessional. “If I had to spend the night at Chateau Sheree or Moore Manor, I’m going to the Chateau. For the obvious reasons!”

Again, Kenya has stolen Phaedra’s workout idea, Cynthia’s pageant idea, and now she’s on claim Sheree’s title of sole proprietor of a home that’s uninhabitable. Just like Sheree told Iyanla in that fateful fix my life episode, Kenya claims her ‘hell hole’ is for her kids. She also wants a place she can finally call home…

“This home will make me finally feel rooted,” Kenya says in her confessional. “I’ve been in California…Texas…Detroit. This is where my life will begin again.”

Battle of the ‘homeless’ housewives…

Cynthia Bailey hosts her eyewear launch party and all hell breaks loose… literally. First Peter and Kenya get into a verbal battle as Kenya decides to stand up for her ‘friend’ (as if she has any).

Peter dismisses both Kenya and his sister in-law, Mallorie as they both try to confront him about his careless actions in the club.

Marlo Hampton makes an appearance as she attempts to play peacemaker… doesn’t work.

“I strongly believe in giving people the benefit of a doubt. But the way Peter is behaving…seems to be the behavior of a guilty person,” Kenya says in the confessional.

Meanwhile, Ex-housewife Sheree Whitfield makes her grand entrance and she and Marlo Hampton exchange a few random pleasantries.

Kenya decides to strike at Sheree, about her Chateau and Moore has given it a new nickname, “Chateau She Can’t Pay.”

“[The neighbors] have been complaining…the whole neighborhood has been asking about the house,” Kenya tells Sheree.

Sheree then tries to clap back about how building a home from scratch takes time (4 years??), and she manages to throw a bit of shade, telling Kenya that ‘anyone who doesn’t know that should keep renting’.

[Sidebar: Sheree is renting too though… but I digress.]

Sheree and Kenya manage to spark the first major confrontation of season 8, which I have affectionately dubbed the ‘battle of the homeless housewives.’ There were quite a few hilarious quips thown abut between these two and I guess that Kenya’s stolen storyline idea could be ratings gold.

“I’ve actually upgraded the whole area, including your house that’s in a ditch,” Sheree tells Kenya.

“And I’ll be in the ditch in three months, and you will be in a tent outside because your bitch ass can’t move in yet!” Kenya replies.

We’ll have to see who actually wins the ‘homeless housewife’ battle next week as the fight is this week’s cliffhanger.