Good evening everyone. Just letting you know that we have a new page on the site. "Memes"!Plain and simple, really. We raid a meme generator website and inflict it with our own sense of humour. After which we upload them directly to the page so people know who made them (we hope - give us credit, people!). There are already a few on the new page, so go have a look! Click on the link button below. Alternatively, you can find it in the menu at the top of the website page.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I am very pleased to announce at long last, the online release of the Expressions Talent Scan from 1998. I was involved in this concert performance with my old high school band, Supertrip (then known as The Rascals).The video will be added to the Videos section of the website, but until then it can be viewed directly from this blog entry.P.S. I apologise for the low quality or lack of audio in parts of this film. That was not my doing, and neither could I fix the problem. Sorry.

I decided to release this episode a little earlier than planned. In this one, Aliesha, Gary and I try a Dr. Pepper from Ireland, plus a similar energy drink to the Pac-Man ones we tried in an earlier episode..."It's a drink, a-Mario! Woohoo!"

Parts 4 and 5 of Forbes' story, "Angels & Demons - Rebellious Nature" are up. Check them out at the link button below, or head on over to the Stories section of the website.Also, be sure to check out his other stories while you're there!

As we continue to mourn the loss of Robin Williams, we shall move into something in the comedy section of the website (I'm sure it's what he would've wanted). We bring you yet another episode of "Trying Stuff"! Forbes has posted a lot of material lately, so it seems fair that I fill in the gaps somewhere. The beauty of pre-recording material to share at later dates!In this episode, Aliesha, Gary and I taste 4 sodas from a brand called "Always Ask For Avery's", but these aren't your average soda flavours (or are they?)...

The third Gosney album, "The Brother of Hell", is now officially released. Head on over to the Bandcamp.com link to buy it!Its second single will be released in a month's time, and its follow-up a month later.

Howdy all you wonderful people! I know how much you enjoy my ceaseless ranting about things, so I thought I’d rant some more! I was chatting online as we all do, and I was talking about my world plan for domination. I mean, we all have one of those. Mine involves a guy named Gary Fox. I’m hoping that you all know who I’m referring to as Gary is an artist that we associate with on our website. And as you are all good little rabbits you have visited his page and checked out his cool artwork. If you haven’t, then I am going to put you over my knee and I don’t mean in a sexual way. I mean in the 1950’s "You’re in big trouble, mister" kind of way. But I am getting off track here and I really shouldn’t. Your time is valuable, my time is valuable, so I should just get down to business. My plan for world domination. The thing is I didn’t really have one until I started going on about it earlier on today, but I am incredibly imaginative and I like to freak out Gary Fox. He knows one day I’m going to do stuff to him he just doesn’t know when or where. Hahaha!! Diabolical is what I aim for. The plan comes in stages: 1. Kidnap Gary Fox. I will probably do this when he’s at home. I don’t really want witnesses. Plus I will be dressed up as a woman to seduce him. This isn’t really necessary but I like women’s clothing. 2. Build an army of militia. As an all-round bad guy and all my knowledge of bad guys comes from watching TV, I need a team of highly trained badasses to do what I say. Now, mind you, I don’t want the kind of bad guys from the 1960’s "Batman" series. You know, the ones that Batman and Robin used to beat up rather easily. My team have to be able to take down rich guys who want to dress up and have powerful toys. I want my team to be able to beat these guys up with ease. 3. Build the world’s biggest black dildo. This really speaks for itself, don’t you think? But I am really bad at building things so I will need to get a scientist. You know, someone good at building and creating large sexual objects. I mean, this thing will be as big as the Taj Mahal! It will require 1.21 gigawatts (just thought I’d throw a "Back to the Future" reference). Oh! Wouldn’t it be cool if this dildo that’s the size of a building could travel through time? That would be awesome but it’s not a prerequisite for this plan, but maybe after I’ve dominated the world for a while I could travel back to Napoleonic times and do some stuff. 4. Get Gary Fox to draw it. This isn’t essential, but I don’t want Gary to get bored while he’s locked up. Maybe Duckman could spend some time with him for a while. 5. Turn the dildo on and see what happens, hehe… 6. Nothing happens because I got the scientist on the cheap!! NO!!! 7. The combined militaries of England, France, Russia, China and America overcome my militia and I get arrested. This isn’t how I thought this fantasy plan of mine would turn out. I have been watching waaaaay too much "Roadrunner". Hmm. As the saying goes, I guess its back to the drawing board. I think I might ponder on this for a bit and get back to you. Hope life is treating you folks well Ciao!Forbes "Weasel" King.

Alright, sitting here listening to my favourite band, Klank, and getting clearly worked up about a lot of things, but let’s stay focused if we can. But "Stomp You Out" has come on the playlist so, well, we’ll see. I was out running the other day and I saw a truck with the company name ‘Treecorp’ on the side with the image of a tree behind it. Really? Treecorp? I know what this company is - a dude cutting down trees or the branches. A corporation is a multimillion dollar business with lawyers on call, vice presidents, and corner offices. You get the general idea. It is not a dude in a truck with a damn saw cutting down trees. What gives some overweight, over-the-hill, bearded, dirty and bordering on alcoholism the right to think that their company is a corporation? It is not a corporation. It is a one man operation. A dude wakes up in the morning and thinks, "OK, I have a saw and a van, cool. I can create a corporation out of that. Easy." Is the 15-year-old who helps him out in the school holidays the freaken vice president? Is his corner office in the back of the van? What kinda perks do you get with a company like that? Key to the bathroom? I mean really. Some people live in complete delusion. A cold hard case of what Rowdy Roddy Piper would call a reality check is needed. Don’t get me started on politics. I could be here all day going off about what I think is wrong with people, but I will say that there is a lack of common decency in the political system and I also think it will never change. New parties come to the forefront and promise to deal with the issues and say that they understand the issues and understand the voice of the people, but this is a lie. I could go on about the quality of current affairs shows in this country of mine, but that would be pointless. Last night I saw that the main story on a current affairs show was about a bird competition. Yes, you read that right. A bird competition. Really? Birds? Who really cares? I mean, birds are cool, but to have a competition featuring them seems loco. And they have like a hundred judges for this thing. Please excuse me while I shoot myself in the face. This is why I don’t watch a lot of this type of thing. Although, there are some that I do like. The family/community minded current affairs doesn’t interest me at all. Kind of like the friendly talk you get from the power companies as they charge you a small fortune for the power that you use. Is it just me or is it becoming difficult to justify existence within this model that is modern urban living? Then there is the situation in the international scene. That is more screwed up than anything we are seeing in our own country. Like the rebels that shot down that plane. A plane that happened to come from the same airline that lost a plane four months ago and still hasn’t been found. The whole situation has blown up in Russia's face and there is a certain humour to that. Not for the families, and I feel for them, I really do, but there is a larger picture here. The Russians armed the country for insurrection and the international community cared but not enough to do anything about that. Then these ass-hats, untrained jerk-knobs decide to shoot down this plane full of Europeans. The Russians have egg on their face because they created this environment. Things will now happen because innocent people have died in the civil war that the Russians have instigated.Getting a little too serious? Yeah I agree. Let’s talk about the Commonwealth Games! It’s like the Olympics but without any of the big hitters. No Americans, Chinese or Russians. Basically, it’s a chance for the Queen of England...oh wait, the Scottish are still a part of her empire or whatever, and so it’s the Queen of the Commonwealth. Commonwealth? Really? Is there an average wealth percentage within all of these countries that include some African states? Really? I think not. I think these games are a joke, but I don’t really like the Olympics, so yeah. But at least the Olympics has everyone. What kind of world sports event has only half the countries that would usually be at a world sporting event? But I suppose it’s a chance for other countries to win something. Right, rant finished. Whether you agree or not makes little difference to me. Read or don’t read, do or don’t do, there is no try? Whatever.Peace, my homies. I’m out.-Forbes "Weasel" King-

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, you can now pre-order the latest Gosney album, "The Brother of Hell", via the Bandcamp.com link button below! This album contains 9 tracks. One of which is a different version of a Kingrow song, "The Door of a Thousand Faces", which was originally released in 2007.The lead single is called "Satan's Death". This single is also available for purchase along side of your pre-order, and contains a B-side track - "Purple Anthem" - which is exclusive to the single!The release date for the album is 13 August 2014, while the single is available as of now! Click on the link buttons below for your pre-order of the album and the purchase of the single.The follow-up singles, "Free for a Fee" and "Painbreaker", will be available after monthly gaps starting on the album's release date ("Free for a Fee" in September, "Painbreaker" in October).

Greetings ladies and gentlemen. We are pleased to announce that the infamous "Gosney Tapes" we've been talking about for several years now are being worked on...and we're roughly halfway finished!The first batch of releases will be made up of 1 album and 3 singles (2 of which are of tracks from the forementioned album). These releases have already been added to the Gosney discography page on this website, so head on over there via the link button below to have a look!As for the release dates of these previously unreleased songs, it is likely to be sometime in early-to-mid August for the first, which will be the album and its lead single. The second single will follow sometime in September, and finally the third in October. We will make the first 2 releases available for pre-order as soon as they're ready.

Ladies and gentlemen, we are pleased to present to you the first "Trying Stuff" episode since 2012! In this one we have our first ever food-only selection consisting of candy by the Swedish Fish brand, and something called "Box of Boogers". Sounds yummy already...Please note that this is not Season 3 of "Trying Stuff". As mentioned a while ago, we will no longer be releasing episodes as seasons. Instead it'll be a stand-alone episode whenever the time feels right. More freedom that way (speaking of which, hope you had a safe Independence Day, 'Murica). The first 2 seasons will remain as they were released though.The rest of the episodes we filmed the same day as this one will gradually be released as the rest of the year goes by.

Greetings ladies & gentlemen. We at Stuffed Duck Productions are please to announce the return of our food & drink review series, "Trying Stuff". Recently we got a package full of interesting products for the show, followed by our new record in episode-filming by making 5 of them in a single day. To top that off, they're already edited and ready to upload!Because of other projects on this website, we will be releasing each of these episodes over a space of time wherever there's a gap to fill. I'm not saying it's a gap-filler, by the way.You will notice the format is slightly different with the filming and editing. Also we followed the new criteria for the show, which is mentioned on another page on this website.The first of the 5 episodes will be released this Sunday (6 July). Its follow-up will not be announced but instead be unleashed upon you without warning!In other news, there will be a special announcement this Friday, so stay tuned!

I got an interesting text message today. At first I thought it was my wife, maybe my mother (they're the main people who text me most days), but I was wrong. It took me by surprise at first, but then it turned into the feeling of being very annoyed.The number that sent the text was unknown, but it doesn't stop there. It came from a completely different country! In New Zealand, our country code is +64, but this message came from +44, which is the UK. I have no friends over there that have my mobile phone number. They're all in my Facebook friends and that's how it'll stay (unless I happen to be over there).Here's the message I received at 12:44pm local time, typed exactly as I read it:Congrat!Your mobile number was selected as a lucky winner of £1,500,000.00 on UK LOTTERY Draw with Draw number 626404. Email rberth091@gmail.com for claimsFirst of all, I never entered any form of lottery recently, and neither have I in my entire lifetime. I may have bought a ticket once or twice from a New Zealand Lotto counter, but that is all. Obvious spam is obvious. Secondly, do they really think I'll fall for this trash?So, before I added them to my phone's blacklist, I thought I'd have a little fun with it and respond in kind (if kind is the right word to use in this case). I said as follows:You must think I'm a special kind of stupid by claiming that I entered a lottery which, by the way, doesn't exist. Take my number off your database & bugger off.To whoever you are that sent me this message, I'm insulted that you'd try to outsmart a comedian. You should know how dangerous that is to your morale. All you'll get out of it is a major kick in the gut.Everybody else, do not accept any 'offers' from the phone number +447554588716. Show them who's boss instead.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and anything in between, we at Stuffed Duck Productions are pleased to announce the arrival of our earliest available film recording. A film that was made in 1998 during Jared & Forbes' final year at high school (particularly the final week).This film was originally intended to be a comedy sketch show (think shows like "Not the 9 O'Clock News", "Alas Smith & Jones", "Hale & Pace" or even "Harry Enfield & Chums". It was written sometime in the middle of 1998, possibly August/September, and the filming took place in December. The end result, however, was not exactly what was written on paper. Only 2 sketches were filmed (one of which was deleted as it turned out to be crap), before the rest of the film went in a completely different direction altogether...especially when the duo were joined by their mutual friend, Warren Constable-Brown.In 2008, Jared & Forbes decided to celebrate the 10th anniversary of the video by taking the best audio bits from the video and created an album version. A soundtrack, if you will. Included on this album was a commentary of the video where the duo sat and watched the video while recording themselves.For a long time as the duo made their online presence known from 2007 onwards, this project had been mentioned many times, but due to a lack of required technology, they weren't able to produce proof that this ever existed. The soundtrack was one thing, but actual visual proof was needed. They didn't have this...until the 2014 teaser trailer...The final 2014 version of this video runs for 41 minutes. It is mostly left as it was on the videotape, but only a few changes have been made. The outtakes are available separately. A commentary version is also available, and uses the forementioned audio track from the album/soundtrack from 2008.Today, nearly 16 years later, the final product is here! So without any further delay, we bring you..."COMIC WIT" !!!

Hello everyone. Just a quick update..."Comic Wit" will be available to you all in less than 11 hours from now! Watch this space...In the meantime, be sure to check out the Misc. Videos section of our site for a new addition (at the bottom of the page). It is the long-awaited "Armageddon Expo 2014 - Doctor Who Panel". Sadly, it is not the complete panel as the battery ran out while filming. Gary did capture most of the last 15 minutes, but for some reason he had technical difficulties getting it onto the computer from his phone. Therefore, we've uploaded what we were able to get. Apologies for any lost moments. We're sure that someone else may have captured what we didn't.Hope you're all well. Stay tuned for "Comic Wit" very soon!

Hello everyone! Just informing you that there is a new addition to our Videos page called "Pilgrim". This is a documentary-style feature-length film that I made in 2011, only 10 months after that fatal earthquake that hit Christchurch on February 22nd. It follows South City Christian Centre (now known as South City C3) as they hold their church services (which were mostly made up of music performances) in the great outdoors over the space of 3 Sundays.This film mostly covers the final 2 weeks of the 3, but you can catch a glimpse of the first week in the intro. The quality of the intro isn't that great as I only had my mobile phone on me at the time. But the rest of the film was done using the camcorder, so that's fine.There are quite a few music performances, as I said before, and websites for each should be in our Links page so you can check out their recordings they've released. A few of which actually appear in the film (but only snippets).I hope you enjoy this film. It is actually my first movie-length release. I had it on Blip.tv for a while, but I'm sure you know what happened with me and that website (if not, you're welcome to ask). This film is now on YouTube, marking its return to the Internet after a bit of an absence.Please note that the website mentioned in the end credits is no longer valid. There is a YouTube annotation placed over it with a link to this site, however.To view the film, please go to our Videos page and click on "Pilgrim". Alternatively, you can click on the button at the bottom of this blog entry.Enjoy!

Ladies and gentlemen, we are pleased to present to you the next of Forbes' stories, freely available to you exclusively on this website. We give you "The Demented Department: House for Sale".In this story, we follow a small group of unpopular, outcast teenage boys trying to make their lives in high school a little more tolerable. "House for Sale" sees the group plotting a prank against their mathematics teacher involving computer hacking and a bit of old-fashioned theft and vandalism.What will happen to them? Do they get caught? Find out over the next 4 weeks as we present all 5 parts of the story to you each week (the final 2 parts will be made available simultaneously).Head on over to the Stories section in the site's toolbar, or click on the button below to be taken there.Happy reading!Part 1 - Available now!Part 2 - May 12th.Part 3 - May 19th.Parts 4 & 5 - May 26th.First week of June will have no stories/chapters.

The next chapter of Forbes' story, "Investigations: The Lightning Man" is up! Head over to the Stories section of the website, or click on the button below to go directly to that chapter.Remember to leave a comment on this blog entry, or on Facebook/Twitter, to share your opinion on the story. We'd love to see it!

The Duck Blog

The contents of this blog are composed by none other than Jared Rowbotham, a.k.a. Duckman or n-Somnia.All blog entries pre-dating 19 September 2014 are a combination of both Jared's and Forbes' messages. Entries after this date are all Jared.The contents of this blog (from 19 September 2014) will contain stuff related to Jared's work, including website updates.