• We begin, diaristes, with a word from Michael Gove, a brilliant journalist in his day and, as education secretary, now a politician skyrocketing to greatness. But must he so limit his professional ambitions? Do we not have a government committed to social mobility, determined that each one of us should be able to follow his or her talents, wherever they may lead? Perhaps a whole new profession may beckon for Gove! Witness his speech yesterday to a south London academy, in which he commended his audience to emulate the example of Lord Harris of Peckham, aka Carpetright millionaire Phil Harris, whose flagship store in Tottenham was unhappily torched during the London riots. "Phil is able to support state education so generously because of his success in business," cooed Gove. "His firm Carpetright has brought jobs and opportunities – as well as high quality low cost flooring solutions – to thousands." A tantalising glimpse of what might be for those who think Gove would make an excellent carpet salesman, and should not delay in pursuing his dream.

• A busy week, too, for John Penrose, MP for Weston-super-Mare, junior culture minister and, now, very enthusiastic Twitter user. In a blizzard of tweets, 39 in just two days, @JohnPenroseMP links to his ministerial blog and offers his thoughts on architecture, which falls within his brief, argues that the Megalosaurus "should be our national dinosaur", and comments: "I never realised Jim Carrey, Nicole Kidman and Drew Barrimore were in Batman Forever. No wonder I subconsciously loved it all these years." Of course we agree. And so it is a particular disappointment to learn that the tweeter in question is, as the minister puts it, "a tribute artiste". It isn't him, in other words – but since the imposter is neither insulting nor satirical, says a DCMS spokesman, the motivation of the faux Penrose has been a source of puzzlement to the real one. Put the record straight, we beg – what's the true ministerial view on Batman Forever? "I mentioned this to him and he said he had no views one way or another." Typical politician, fence-sitting so as not to alienate the voters. We daren't ask about the Megalosaurus.

• Still in Westminster – who could bear to leave? – a sharp-eyed tipster spots a very puzzling phenomenon on Google Maps. Habitual users will know that marked on its maps, as well as topographical features, are attractions, businesses and other notable sites. Search for the Houses of Parliament, accordingly, and zoom in very close, and you will learn that it has four distinct items of interest, a blob identifying Richard Shepherd, Conservative member for Aldridge-Brownhills, two historic monument icons marking the locations of Glenda Jackson (Lab, Hampstead and Kilburn) and David Burrowes (Con, Enfield-Southgate), and a restaurant called Barry Gardiner, who until recently we thought was the Labour MP for Brent North. No other MPs, it would appear, work at this location. We contact Mr Gardiner to request a comment, or at least a menu, but he is evidently too busy spatchcocking radishes ahead of the lunchtime service.

• The revelation that a neon artwork by Tracey Emin, reading "More Passion", has been erected outside Downing Street's own horny hothouse, the Terracotta room (Walpole had his breakfast there, need we say more?), prompts a mole to get in contact with news of another artistic acquisition at No 10. Never mind the minx of Margate's offering, what of the enormous red lightbulb newly installed in the bushes of the Downing Street garden? Is there something Dave would like to tell us? Apparently not. It's a powder-coated steel sculpture by Michael Craig-Martin, sighs a longsuffering press-officer, and is entitled "Bulb". Craig-Martin, as the Diary's fellow art-lovers will know, frequently uses the lightbulb in his work to signify an idea. We prefer to think of it as an extension of a newly pervy design theme for No 10, largely because we are extremely immature. In the bushes!