I took my wife to see a musical in the West End last week. I collected my tickets from the box office and then made my our way to our seats in the stalls. I knew my tickets were good and was in the third row. Anyway got to our seats only to find an elderly couple seating in them and they were very apologetic and posh and they should have been two rows back. It was only then that I realised I was kicking the Duke of Kent out of my seat! I told the wife and she confirmed I wasn't wrong. We also had Cherie 'Fucking' Blair seating behind us. Very weird and couldn't stop laughing.

I posted that then went to make some food and my phone pinged, it was a new follower on Instagram, I looked at the name a few times, it's the guy who shouted out "I've shagged your mum" to Marky Mark!!I've not spoken to him for a couple of years as he lives in Arizona.That's freaked me right out!!

Damn just remembered this nugget.I was out out on a weekday afternoon in West London with a couple of mates, one used to run the doors in Soho when he was around 18, so he could handle himself.These were the days i was on the piss and other bits.We got into the Hippodrome via an open back door and proceeded to make ourselves at home, my mate nicked a bottle of champers or something (This was about 18 years ago i think?) and we got chucked out, it was early evening by now.Anyway as we were being escorted out, Marky Mark (Mark Wahlberg) as he was known then was walking in with a load of bouncers, so my mate shouted out "Mark I've shagged your mum" so all hell broke loose in the foyer, my other mate with a skinhead could have a tear up as well so we went at it, it was only a scuffle and we we vastly outnumbered and ended up outside.Good times.

Tenuous West Ham links - Took the kids to see the Two Towers during the half-term holidays years ago and stood outside the toilets with Sean Bean as we both waited for our daughters, Should have got him to sign the stubs. We shared a manly 'Alright'.

Richard Harris walked into my local pub one Sunday night. The pub went quiet, he looked around at everyone and then asked who'd care to join him for a libation. I'd left 5 mins earlier. He spent a couple of hours there and then had to sneak back into the hospital he was attending - he was in his pjs and dressing gown.

Brentford 13 - my son's godfather's sister-in-law worked on the Snowman. She held the record for the number of caps in goal for England. Moved to Disney.

In the early 90s I worked for a company in the entertainment industry but owned by a company very much with it’s roots in shipping. I was introduced at an event to a new senior manager. Who we’ll call Mr X for reasons that will become obvious later. Lovely public school type and ex-navy as a lot of our employees were.

About a year later as I hadn’t seen MR X for a while I inquired as to where he was. I was told “He’s left and gone back to the states to work with Tom Clancy. Yes he’s his advisor on military material. You know he worked with him on Hunt For Red October. Yes he’s an ex submarine commander”

In 1983 on an internal flight in New Zealand I sat next to Brian Hooper, the British Olympic pole vaulter who won 6 Superstars contests and had just become world Superstars champion. I could see his trophy when I put my bag in the luggage rack. For some reason I pretended not to know who he was, and we spent the flight chatting about our view of the Southern Alps and our journeys. He never mentioned who he was either, which I thought was modest of him given his high profile in the UK at that time.

Waiting for someone to come through Heathrow T3 at 07.00am and saw John Cleese with his missus, although he was head and shoulders above everyone no one seemed bothered or didn't recognise him.He scanned around the whole concourse almost theatrically then stopped when he spotted me staring at him, he realised he was recognised, then raised his chin and stared down his nose at me squinting his eyes, he was probably bored and did it for effect.

Also met Paul Whitehouse on a flight to Cyprus last year, as my mum would have said he looked like he needed a good wash