“They are a pretty impressive attack,” said Marcus Trescothick after Somerset played Pakistan. He had plenty of time to assess the bowlers’ worth because he scored a hundred.

The fact that he is 40 and now bats in glasses due to his deteriorating vision shouldn’t in any way be held against the tourists, because age and eyesight really haven’t made much of a dent. Marcus Trescothick still warrants the description ‘pretty impressive’ himself. He’ll still be able to make hundreds against international opposition when his hearing’s gone and he can’t hear his partner’s calls, while his lack of footwork means that he’ll still be able to punch out that odd, motionless drive after knee replacements.

Can we still call him Banger? It seems a strange name for a middle-aged man. But then it seems ever-so-slightly strange that age should afflict his body without any apparent impact on his ability. Maybe somewhere there’s a painting of a skinny, surprisingly youthful-looking 40-year-old Trescothick whose skills have completely deserted him.

Apologies Ged et al. As you know my speciality is limericks. I feel like I’ve come unstuck by a lack of focus. Following this poor run of clerihew form, I need to start at the bottom and build my way back up.

There once was a team named Yorkshire
Who, with performance exceedingly dire,
Lost against Middlesex, and one slightly suspects
That they may not get out of this mire.

There we go. With the basics now in place, let’s have another try:

Toby Roland-Jones
Rolled like a pile of stones
Over Yorkshire, making sure their demolition was thorough
At Scarborough.