Toward the end of our stay in Egypt, we began looking for a way to reach Eastern Europe. Our plan had always been to start somewhere around Turkey and work our way north. There were many routes we could take, some of which were easily discarded due to visa costs. Even so, we looked forward to visiting Bulgaria, Moldova, Romania, Ukraine, Poland, and the Baltic States of Lithuania, Latvia, and Estonia before entering Russia.

But before all of that, we had to find our way to Turkey. Overland from Jordan was simply not an option, not with the unrest in Iraq, Syria, and Lebanon. We thought for sure we could find a cruise ship or ferry or something out of Israel, but that turned out to be next to impossible. When all was said and done, we simply purchased a flight from Tel Aviv to Istanbul. Simple, but spendy.

Because we lingered in Africa, we were in a rush by the time we got to Israel. I would have enjoyed having a week or more to visit historical sites like Bethlehem, Jerusalem, and the Jordan River, but by the time we crossed the border, we had barely 24 hours before our flight out.

Fortunately, our friend, Michal, was living in Tel Aviv and offered to show us around. We packed quite a bit into that day and a half and, with her there to answer my questions, we learned a lot about the country, too.

We spoke a lot about geopolitics – I was very curious about how Israelis see themselves, how they fit in in the Middle East, and how religion plays a role in their country’s politics. I’m not going to get into that here. I know I wouldn’t be able to do our conversations justice, but furthermore, I didn’t get a chance to talk with anyone else. While very informative, hers was only one Israeli’s opinion.

I’ve got good news and bad news about Egypt. Which do you want first? How ‘bout the bad.

Oksana and I have visited somewhere between 25 and 30 countries so far and it’s safe to say that Egypt is our least favorite so far. Why the hate? Because of the hassle.

Our guidebook warned us, a tourist in Tanzania warned us, friends on Twitter warned us, even the guy behind the counter at our hostel in Cairo warned us, but I still couldn’t believe it would be as bad as they said. It was. Actually, it was worse.

Listen to me. If you go to Egypt, you will be hassled, hounded, yelled at, and argued with. You will be followed, lied to, cheated, and taken advantage of. The people in Egypt will not leave you alone. They will do everything in their power to separate you from your money.

There is no escape from it. At the pyramids of Giza, camel riders will follow you around, pestering you with questions constructed from the seven words of English they’ve memorized: “You want ride? Camel ride? Hello? Camel ride. Twenty dollars. Hello? You want camel ride?”

At the temples, Bedouins will step in front of you to get your attention, point out a hieroglyph on the wall, lie about what it represents (“Look! Cleopatra!”), and then hold out their hand for money.

In the Valley of the Kings, “helpful” people standing at the entrance to the tombs will hand you a half-dead flashlight as you enter and then demand money for it when you try to leave, even though you never used it because the whole tomb was lit with florescent lights.

If you’re not a dark-skinned Arab wearing a robe or a turban, you’re a mark. Egyptians will swarm around you like a cloud of mosquitoes, buzzing in your ears, eventually angering the most patient tourist.

We tried everything we could think of to avoid them; nothing worked. Sometimes we lost our temper. I’m ashamed to admit that we even swore at a few. They swore right back. They know all the worst words, in every language, because they’ve heard them all before from travelers just like us.

We were told again and again that the best thing we could do was ignore them. Don’t make eye contact, show them your back. We tried. It was as simple as ignoring that cloud of mosquitoes and just as effective.(more…)

Yesterday, as we walked down a lonely stretch of beach, Oksana and I were mugged by a heavily-muscled man with a machete.

Our day started out well enough. After breakfast, we decided to follow up on an email we’d received from a dive center at one of the resorts. We checked a map and realized it was a walkable distance down the beach. To be sure, the owners of the lodge we were staying at warned us about a certain stretch of empty property where thieves had been known to hang out, but they assured us it was only dangerous for people with bags or cameras.

Oksana tucked a few bills away in her swimsuit and I debated long and hard about the two things I wanted to bring: My iPhone and our GPS. The GPS because I wanted to record at least one good track duringour stay on the Eastern side of Zanzibar, the iPhone because we were going to pitch a work-trade deal with the dive center and can bring up our previous diving videos on it.

I also carried my Swiss Army knife. I wouldn’t risk a fight over the iPhone itself, but I would for the data that’s on it.(more…)