What Kids Say About Divorce After They Grow Up...

If you stay in a loveless, unhappy marriage, remember that’s going to be the biggest influence on your child, on what their ideas of relationships are. They see that specific relationship at a very close, personal level, so they grow up believing that those traits are normal.

J.K.

My parents hid all of their fighting from us and divorced really civilly with 50/50 shared custody. I’ve never seen them really fight ever and that’s pretty awesome looking back on it –that they were able to do that. I think I grew up fine. Double presents were pretty awesome too.

H.M.

I’m just going to give the best advice I can give to any estranged parents.

Never, EVER badmouth the other parent to your child. If the other person really is evil, and a true threat to the child, don’t let them have contact with one another. Otherwise, let the kids see for themselves. They can tell when they’re being manipulated.

A.R.

Do what is best for you and your husband. The kids may have difficulty at first, but in the long run it is better to have separated but happy parents vs. miserable but married parents.

I promise.

E.D.

There are aspects of being a ‘child of divorce’ that aren’t great but to be honest I was happy when my dad moved out because they both seemed happier and the house was less tense. Just please make sure your children have someone they can talk to because I bottled everything up at the time and I’m dealing with it now.

E.D.

My parents tried to make their marriage work until i graduated from high school, and they almost made it. I can tell you, though, that its not worth it. Having my parents living together but not being together was worse than them being separated.

T.B.

My parents divorced when I was around 7–I think it was a good thing for the family. Having my parents no longer fighting and having their own happy lives was much better than living in a tense house with everyone unhappy. More important than anything is being civil in front of your kids. No matter what–don’t say anything negative about them in front of the kids, don’t argue, just say “we’re going to go talk” and leave the room and discuss whatever it is completely out of earshot.

J.F.

Glad my parents split. I enjoy seeing my mom happy and my dad happy, but they aren’t happy together so why would I want them in a relationship?