Recap: 'Project Runway' - 'What's Mine is Yours'

It’s time for another edition of the half-hour-too-long “Project Runway.” While I now find myself strangely drawn to Garnier products when I’m at Target, I have to say I haven’t found the newer, longer “PR” particularly rewarding. Except for the episode when Gwetchen lost her friggin’ mind. That, I could have watched the ten-hour director’s cut. I can only hope there are more Gwetchen meltdowns coming, or I’m going to start buying conditioner in cheap green bottles and it’s not going to be pretty.

Anyway, let’s get to it. Now that Peach is gone, April is not looking forward to moving in with Gwetchen, Ivy and Valerie. Because two-thirds of her new roommates are inherently evil. But of course, all of them squeal with excitement when she comes in, because evil tends to hide itself behind smiling faces and cheerful greetings on the apartment chalkboard.

Meanwhile, Michael C.’s feelings are hurt because no one cared that he won. Andy resists the urge to tell him he sucks. Wow, Andy, that’s big of you. How many challenges have you won, Andy? I actually think Andy’s very talented, but seriously, could everyone stop being so nasty to Michael C.? He’s got that sad bloodhound kind of face, and it just feels like everyone’s picking on the fat kid during recess.

Heidi tells the designers they’re going to brunch! With Tim! And they should have fun! Mwahahahaha! Okay, she doesn’t laugh like that, but you know she’s thinking, hehe, suckers. Because fun is never really fun on “PR.”

Anyway, brunch is apparently code for meeting with Michael Kors and being ordered to create some resort wear. Oh, and they get a boat ride, which will include brunch, and some Michael Kors sunglasses. Oh, and the brunch? Ritz crackers and cut up melon. And the designers have to start sketching during the boat ride. I’m expecting Tim to tell them all that they’ll need to go into the engine room, pick up some oars and start rowing, just because.

So, back at Parsons, everyone looks over their sketches. April is doing a resort outfit as if the model were taking a resort vacation at an asylum. I kind of love April, even if she makes diapers.

After a frantic visit to Mood, Tim walks in with a velvet bag. The little velvet bag strikes fear in all the designers’ hearts, because they know it’s never a good thing. Tim reveals that everyone is pairing up, and each designer will be executing his or her partner’s outfit. Eeeek!

Valerie is teamed with Andy

Michael C. is with Mondo. Mondo now wants to kill himself or, more likely, Michael C.

Mondo and Michael C. kick things off with brutal honesty. Mikey admits he’s a slow sewer and doesn’t know how to use patterns, and Mondo tells him his construction is awful. This is not going to be pretty.

I still don’t think Casanova is a good designer, but I’m starting to love him a little because he’s just damn funny. Apparently, Gwetchen is micromanaging (no, it can’t be true!) and he finally says, “Oh my gosh, she believed that I am a retard.” Which is hugely politically incorrect and I shouldn’t even repeat it, but the way he says it? Kinda priceless.

Mondo does not look happy. He thinks he’s going home. Until he realizes Michael C. is a good guy and he actually did a decent job on Mondo’s jacket. And Mondo actually apologizes for being a bitch.

First up, Gwetchen and Casanova. Michael thinks Casanova’s doing the grandma thing again. Gwetchen smirks, but Michael isn’t a big fan of her outfit, either, as it has way too much bordeaux going on. Casanova rightly points out that Gwetchen is fixated on her butt ugly color palette from the group challenge. I honestly think that’s because she wants to convince the judges that her opinion was right, and they were just too stupid to understand her vision.

Michael warns Mondo to be careful, as he’s got a lot of color (all of it neon) and a lot of pattern. I wouldn’t worry about Mondo. Mondo kinda hates Michael C.’s design, but guess what? Michael Kors doesn’t! He loves the fabric, which does look pretty cool.

Michael doesn’t get Ivy’s outfit. And the fabric is office, not resort. He does warn Michael D. not to let his little black dress become prison matron, but honestly, he seemed more appalled by Ivy’s outfit.

Michael tells Andy to watch his hems, but he really takes Valerie to task for her penchant for cadet blue and bordeaux, which he loathes. Ivy pouts.

Time for Valerie to call home. Which usually means she’s winning or losing, one or the other. So, she calls her mom and gets weepy. She feels that if she doesn’t make it to fashion week, everything dies. Valerie is a little dramatic, isn’t she?

Things are not going well between Ivy and Michael D. Ivy thinks Michael D. is a drooling idiot. When a grown man says “It would be great not to feel like a complete doo-doo head,” you know there’s been a demoralizing breakdown in communications.

Michael C. and Mondo are now besties. Mondo feels appropriately awful for being a dick to Michael C. And, amazingly, apologizes. This may be the unexpected feel-good moment of the season.

Time for the models to go to Garnier, blah blah blah, body tanning, blah blah blah.

As Tim promised, each designer gets to work on his or her own outfit for ten minutes before the runway. Ivy practically rips her garment out of Michael D.’s hands and starts sewing the whole damn thing together. Michael D. is just fine with that, because he’s a little tired of Ivy hovering over his shoulder and spewing orders like a tightly wound Korean dictator.

The judges are Michael, Nina and Kristen Bell. You know, I’m the first one to bitch about actresses in the judges’ chair, but I love Kristen Bell, so I’ll let it slide this time. I mean, come on, she was Veronica Mars, people!

Michael C.

His shimmery metallic jumpsuit is kinda cool. It has that ‘70s Bianca Jagger vibe and it definitely moves. But I’d expect nothing less from Mondo at the sewing machine.

Mondo

I’ll be honest. I hate neon. And this is a lot of neon. And it’s mismatched neon. And stripes. And prints. And a visor. Egads, who wears visors anymore? I love Mondo, but this is my least favorite thing of his he’s ever done.

Michael D.

This is actually kind of beautiful. I love the cut outs, I love the flow, and hey, I always love black.

Ivy

What the hell is this? It looks like something from the Chico’s catalog. Great if you’re a retired art teacher with a weight problem, not so good for anyone else.

Chrisopher

Cute top, though the walking shorts seem a little formal for resort. They’re well made, but it might be a little Macy’s bland.

April

This looks a little Frederick’s of Hollywood, but April gets points for trying something different. I love the structure of the top, though. And even though there are granny panties under the babydoll, they work. And aren’t white diapers.

Casanova

Look, it’s Laura Bush! Oh, wait, no, it’s another granny design from Casanova. Though I do like the draping of the top.

Gwetchen

Hey, it’s an unflattering potato sack! And it makes the model look pregnant! Awesome! But it’s Gwetchen, so she’ll be fine.

Valerie

I do not love this. The vest is just unflattering and looks too small. Plus, what’s with all the beige? Is this resort wear for the office or what?

Andy

I love the orchid color, the swimsuit is sexy, and the ombre finish on the cover up? Crazy gorgeous.

Andy, April and Michael have the highest scores. Ivy, Mondo and Casanova, the lowest. Ouch. Gwetchen predicts drama, as Michael D. is in the top and Ivy’s in the bottom. Gwetchen may be right.

First up, April. Michael thinks it looks like her, thinks the work that went into the top is brilliantly finished, and he likes the tough punk baby doll thing. Heidi thinks it’s hot without being vulgar. Kristen loved the dress and often describes herself as a super edgy punk baby doll, so she’d wear it on the red carpet.

Nina says Andy’s fabric choice is spot on and it looks expensive. Michael thinks a lot of women can wear it, and Kristen thinks it would look good on a size 12 or a size 2.

Michael D. sings Ivy’s praises. And she promptly throws him under the bus and says he doesn’t know how clothes come on or off. Seriously, Ivy? Wait your turn to trash the guy who, um, is in the winners’ circle. Michael cuts off the crazy and points out that Michael D.’s outfit works perfectly. Kristen thinks it’s effortless. Nina thinks it could work for women of many ages. Ivy quietly fumes.

Now, time to eviscerate the losers. Nina tells Mondo his outfit looks cheap and junior. Michael says complaining that you’ve never been to a resort is not a good reason to not know how to design resort wear. Kristen is confused, because it doesn’t look like an outfit for grown-ups. Michael thinks it’s a weird assemblage of clothes from the sales rack of Forever 21. It breaks my heart to say it, but they’re right on.

Then, Michael C. and Mondo sing one another’s praises, even though Mondo’s on the block. Which is kind of heartwarming, given how much of this season has been spent throwing the competition under the bus. I mean, it’s been like watching “Faces of Death: The MTA Edition” or something, seriously.

Next, Ivy. Ivy explains her vision, then says she dumbed it down because Michael D. is incompetent. Michael Kors points out that Ivy didn’t buy enough fabric, and thinks the whole outfit is a yawn. Nina doesn’t think Ivy has the ideas to be a good designer. Nina is not wrong. I am so stinkin’ tired of Ivy.

And then, it gets good. Heidi asks Michael C. why he’s rolling his eyes, and he admits that working with Ivy on a previous challenge was terrifying. Then, Ivy snaps at Michael C. Then, Heidi asks Ivy why she’s throwing Michael D. under the bus. Ivy denies under-the-bus throwing, but both Kristen and Heidi say, uh-uh, girlfriend, that so was under-the-bus throwing. This is getting so ghetto, I love it!

Sadly, before there’s any bitch slapping, it’s time to move on. Casanova admits he’s unintentionally making outfits for his grandmother. Heidi thinks it’s unfortunate. Michael thinks it’s great for a 70-year-old woman to wear to the mall. Kristen says it didn’t work. Nina thinks it’s mumsy and she doesn’t understand why he only designs outfits that are for women who want to be half-naked or are 70.

The judges chat. I think it’s Michael D., unless they hold Ivy’s outfit against him. And going home? I hope Ivy, though Casanova seems more likely.

Michael D. is… in. Which was fine with him, because he didn’t want to feel guilty for Ivy’s crap outfit. April is… the winner! Wow. Good for her. Andy is, of course, in.

Big hugs backstage between Michael D. and Ivy. And Casanova pretends to hang himself. Geez, I can’t believe I’m saying it, because I’ve wanted Casanova to go home since week one, but I’m sorry to see him go, as he had become comic relief and some other designers had emerged as so much more repugnant (Gwetchen, Ivy) I wasn’t as eager to see him get the boot. But yeah, I’m not crying that I won’t be seeing another outfit for the “Golden Girls” set, either.

Are you sad to see Casanova go? Do you think Ivy deserves the boot? And do you think Michael C.’s been unfairly vilified?

OMG, this is the best PR review I've read ever! Fantastically funny description of the events! Ok, I seriously wish Ivy was gone. Her designs are so boring and she was the complete cause of her failure in the challenge. Poor Michael D.! Nobody could work productively under that stare! I wi miss Casanova, but not the way Heidi says it, that's fir sure. So happy April won although I have no favorite this season. Oh and the dog's name is Swatch. :o)

Ivy is so mean spirited and her designs so boring, I thought for sure she would be OUT! I'm upset that Casanova was sent home, he has to be one of the most compelling and interesting people from any show, not just PR.

Loved it when Michael Kors accurately described Ivy as a "seamstress." I bet she was fuming at home last night! Ivy could have used this opportunity to not only grow as a designer but to gain exposure to people like Michael who could actually help her career. Instead, her nasty ways are fast gaining her nothing but disrespect. Unfortunately, Ivy is too stupid to know the difference.

Love Liane's recaps. They make me laugh out loud and they are always spot on. I hate Gwetchen too and am praying she doesn't make the final. Ivy has been full of herself since the first episode so I'll celebrate when she goes. Neither of them have produced anything good since the first 2 episodes.

I think someone should start a "Boycott Ivy and Grwetchen" Facebook page. These are two of the most malicious women I've ever seen! I hope NO ONE ever buys their designs. Remember, ladies (and I use that term very tentatively when connected with these two), all of this is being FILMED. I loved that Mondo and Michael C. bonded! It's about time someone was kind to Michael C. This season was getting to be like watching people kick around a lame dog. Made me cringe. I'm sorry to see Casanova go because he was so funny to watch. When he said that Grwetchen thought he was a retard, I laughed out loud because of his tone and expression. I must say though, I resented the judges for comparing one design to K-Mart clothes. Given that we are in a recession, that's a quick way to alienate your audience who most likely DO buy their clothes at K-Mart or Target. It was an elitist remark. Very few people watching this show will ever be able to buy a designer, runway outfit. Don't bite the hand that feeds you!

Joan I think your right about the KMart comment, I love Project Runway and I've watched almost every season, but I'll never be able to afford anything close to what the designers create or what the judges prefer... Here's an idea, why don't they have a Walmart or KMart challenge!

Re: K-mart, it was a strange comment, given that so many designers are doing capsule collections for Target, Wal-Mart, H&M and the rest (I may actually wait in line when Lanvin hits H&M, no joke). And Michael Kors is making a lot more money from his Michael Michael Kors diffusion line than he is from anything he's sending down the runway. But I think that comment must be coming from a dated perspective (which used to be true) that discount retailers only carry unfortunate fashion. But that really hasn't been true for about ten years. Of course, the judges are trying to spit out pithy commentary with (I hope) a bare minimum of help from show producers, so there's going to be some gaffs, I guess!

1 or 2 epsodes ago Tim made the comment "It's looking an awful lot like clothes and not like Fashion" Huh? I thought these people were designing clothes....I bet Mondo sells more stuff at Foreever 21 than all the other designers sell anywhere else....and the Michel Kors outlet store - ridiculous prices!

I was so disappointed that Ivy didn't go home. Casanova's design was less boring than hers, and he's much less of a bitch, too. He even was a little bit nice to Michael C last week. To borrow from Isaac Mizrahi's "Fashion Show", Ivy is hanging by a thread, and I hope that thread snaps soon!

OK, now I'm ready for the episode where someone has to go home for a personal crisis or something and they bring an auf'ed designer back. How about Ivy and Gretchen both breaking their necks falling down the stairs at MOOD, simultaneously of course, while rushing to beat each other out for the last roll of beige jersey fabric. That way both Casanova and Sarah can come back! I'm so tired of those bitches that I'd take nice people with crappy clothes any day!

another great recap Liane. I was seriously hoping Ivy was auffed. She realy got on my last nerve. Of course if she was voted off they'd have to perform surgery on Gwetchen to get Ivy's head out of her hiney. I'll miss Casanova, he was my favorite character besides Mondo and now I love Michael C too. I actually liked Casanova's outfit. And I'm only 40ish. I'd like to see him do something like Santino and Austin are doing. He'd be a hoot with those two.

The real problem Casanova had was that he wasn't doing runway work -- I know Michael liked to complain about his "taste level," but really, it was a question of him not really getting what was runway appropriate and what wasn't. Runway, ironically, isn't always about what's most wearable. I'd rather poke myself in the eye than wear anything Galliano sends down the runway (besides the fact I could never squeeze my butt into any of it). But it serves a purpose-- it calls attention to the brand so that "little people" go out and buy branded perfume and sunglasses, people like Lady Gaga wear the runway stuff for more PR, and it changes our ideas about fashion -- then, some of the ideas trickle down in more accessible form. Some of it is actually ugly (Commes des Garcons did hunchback dresses in 1997 that are just not to be worn, ever).

PR is focusing on a slightly more accessible runway, of course, but the emphasis is definitely on youthful. And Casanova just wasn't getting it - he was making nice clothes, except for that first outfit, but not runway. That being said, his outfit was clearly well made and had some beautiful detailing -- it looked like something you could spend a lot of money on at Nordstrom.

That being said, Ivy DEFINITELY should have gone home instead -- her outfit was HORRIBLE by any standard!

In fairness to Casanova, even though he designs things that my well-dressed grandmother would have considered old when she was 90, Ivy was the one who executed the Golden Girls look last week when Casanova came out with an amazing pair of pants. Bye bye, Casanova, but Ivy had better start designing something interesting or she's going to get the boot.

Ivy should have been gone, gone, gone. I hate on PR how they won't send home the people who are so full of themselves and proclaim to one and all that they are fabulous. She is a seamstress, not a designer and she is mean and nasty to boot. Furthermore, I don't know very many "grannies" who would wear Casanova's outfit, as it was backless. The winners clothes were hideous also. That thing April designed was one of the tackiest things I have ever seen.

OMG, I'm sitting in my office trying not to spit up my coffee as I'm reading your blog. I've been watching PR faithfully for only three seasons and just stumbled upon your blog last week. Your comments are so spot on and hilarious! Keep 'em coming!

I cannot for the life of me figure out why Ivy hasn't been called out for her neutral "aesthetic". Unless I've missed something I can't recall seeing her really work with anything other than a grey, white, taupe, tan, etc. The quick snapshot of her portfolio of designs shown on episode 1 showed nothing but this color pallette. And every single week, she's pulling those same colors out of her Mood bag. It reminds me of how last season's Mila did B&W color-blocking every week. Both Michaels may not be as technical as Ivy, but at least they're creative and imaginative! She is SO DULL!

This is the second week in a row where they pick a hooker outfit as the winner. April's outfit looked like a nightie! Who would wear that at a resort? And the "granny panties" under it didn't fit. When they lifted up the top to show them, they were all baggy in the crotch. Awful selections by the judges lately.

I too thought April's outfit looked like lingerie and personally I didn't like the look. But I think that the show is skewed toward youthful looks and at 21 I think April has her own sense of style and design and it's original - which the judges like.

One thing about Casanova being criticized for designing for older women - who do they think has the money for designer threads? Not most 20-somethings but older women do. I think that it's just wrong to deduct points because of the age range that a design is most appropriate for, generally. True, the resort challenge was to be sexy and, unfortunately, sexy usually means youthful. I'm disappointed that PR isn't less ageist.