Banjo: Oh, please. A far more logical explanation is the undisprovable science of Creatureism. All life was created in its present form seven thousand years ago, by a fantastical creature from outer space!

Farnsworth: Bunk!

Banjo: Oh! [He shows a hologram of a man and a chimpanzee, with a backwards prohibition sign running through an arrow.] If you elitist, East Coast evolution is real, why has no one found the missing link between modern humans and ancient apes?

Farnsworth: We did find it! [The arrow is replaced by Homo erectus.] It's called Homo erectus!

Banjo: Then you have proven my case, sir, for no one has found a link between apes and this Homo erectus. [The arrow is put between before Homo erectus.]

Banjo: Oh-ho! I've got you now! [Time Lapse. The hologram now shows 19 different species of ape. Only Fry and Leela are still there.] Fair enough, but where, then, is the missing link between apes and this Darwinius masillae? Answer me that, Professor!

Farnsworth: Okay, granted, that one missing link is still missing, but just because we haven't found it doesn't mean it doesn't exist!

Banjo: [He scoffs.] Things don't exist simply because you believe in them. Thus sayeth the Almighty Creature in the Sky!

[Scene: Olduvai Gorge. A sign reads "Welcome to Olduvai Gorge. Birthplace of Ryan Seacrest (and the rest of mankind). The crew are excavating.]

Farnsworth: I'll show that banana-swilling, poop-slinger! We just need to find that last missing link.

Leela: I found a missing link. It seems to be half-man, half-toucan. [She shows a human shaped skull with a large beak.]

Farnsworth: Not what we're looking for. Throw it in the soup! [She throws it in a pot.]

Farnsworth: That's a bedspring, you dumb bedspring! There are no robot fossils!

Bender: What? Who says I didn't evolve?

Farnsworth: Everybody! Robots were created quite recently. It was in all the papers.

Bender: Then explain this! [He turns around and works on something. He turns around and shows the Professor. He has put eyes on the spring and mounted it on a plaque that says "I hate Mondays".]

[Time Lapse.]

Farnsworth: I've hit a rich vein of missing links. Java Man, Piltdown Man, Manfred Mann. [He throws out the skulls as he names them.] Eureka! [He is holding a skull.] It's the elusive missing missing link! This will show Banjo, once and for all!

[The crew cheers from nearby, where they are eating their soup.]

Fry: [He scoops up some soup. Amy's finger is in the spoon.] What the...

Beeler: Tonight, we have a new resident here in the hall of Hominids, generously donated by its discoverer, Hubert Farnsworth. Ladies and gentlemen, Homo farnsworth. [A curtain rises, revealing the skull and an artist's recreation of the hominid.]

Farnsworth: Once again, science saves the day. The end.

Beeler: And now, to discuss the scientific implications of this discovery, our new museum curator, Dr. Banjo!

Banjo: Thank you Professor Farnsworth, for your generous gift, which has, once and for all dis-proven evolution. [He pulls a cord and a painting of Homo farnsworth riding a dinosaur is revealed.] Behold! Homo farnsworth frolicking with dinosaurs at the moment of creation.

Farnsworth: I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

[Scene: Outside Planet Express. The ship blasts off.]

[Scene: Deep Space.]

Farnsworth: Faster! Faster! Just drop me off at that asteroid over there.

[Scene: Planet Express. Cubert and Dr. Zoidberg are sitting at a table.]

Zoidberg: Cubert, I felt we needed some father-son bonding time, so I found a couple of baseball gloves and boiled them up for lunch.

Cubert: Why don't you just go to Hell!

Zoidberg: Wait! We still have to discuss the facts of life. What are they?

[Scene: Robo-Planetoid.]

Hermes: [He walks out of the Professor's shack.] Okay, I finished moving the last grand piano. Now can we have our pizza?

Farnsworth: You'll get your damned pizza, you parasite! First, let see if my Nanobots have purified the water yet. [He pours some water from an Erlenmeyer flask on to a microscope slide and examines it.] Ah, the water's as sterile as my milkman-trusting father. But what's this? The Nanobots have gotten more complex.

Bender: What's that you say? Those robots have evolved all by themselves, you say?

Farnsworth: It wasn't by themselves! I put them there. I'm a genius. Get over it!

Zoidberg: Hello, I remembered you like superheroes so I painted you a mural on your wall. [He points to a crude drawing of himself and Cubert in costume.] This is Father-Man. He fights crime to earn Son-Boy's respect. Is it working?

Cubert: This is sucky! You suck! Who taught you to do three-point perspective? I could make a better mural with my butt!

[Brett's insides start boiling and he pushes himself through a fence, coming towards Cubert. Cubert sees this and backs away, whimpering.]

Zoidberg: Don't worry, I know just how to handle bullies. Just pretend like you're pathetic. Help, I'm scared. I wet myself. I'm crying like a baby and I'm soaking in pee, but what else is new? [He bursts into tears.]

Farnsworth: Yes, relative to you, it was eons, but, well, look at this hologram I took the day before yesterday of a robot frolicking with a robo-dinosaur. [He shows a hologram of Bender riding one of the dinosaurs. The crowd gasps again.]

Widnar: I don't want to live on this planet anymore! [She blasts off.]

Bender: Thank you. Your Honor, this meat-man does not deny that we robots are the glorious products of evolution. He claim only to have played a small role in supplying the initial machinery. I ask you, is that so crazy? Yes, it's completely crazy, and that is why you must find him not guilty by reason of insanity! [Everyone gasps again.]

Farnsworth: Objection, I'm not crazy! I created you all and I came here in a homemade spaceship and lived in a cave. If you don't believe me, ask my uncle.

Robotic gas forms: No, we have not, for we have evolved to a high state of consciousness. [They are all energy beings.] In the grand scheme, all physical beings are but yokels. Now, settle your petty squabbles and get the hell out. [A blinding flash occurs and the energy beings are gone.]

Bender: [To Farnsworth.] That'll be $10,000.

[Scene: Planet Express. The ship lands. The Professor is showing Banjo pictures of his experience.]

Banjo: Well, digital photographs don't lie. I admit that what you witnessed may have been some form of evolution.

Farnsworth: I'm glad you agree, Dr. Banjo.

Banjo: Evolution set into motion by a wise and all-knowing Creator. You.

Farnsworth: [He chuckles.] Well I don't know about all-knowing. And I admit it's possible, however unlikely, that some wise and all-knowing alien monster set evolution in motion here on Earth.

Bender: And the Creator could also be a robot.

Farnsworth: Then who built this so-called Creator-robot?

Banjo: Some magical bearded robot in the sky? [He and Farnsworth laugh.]

Bender: I guess that would be stupid. Never mind.

Farnsworth: Then it's settled. Finally, a world in which I'm happy to raise my son!