Hot Pockets, a brand of garbage available in your grocer's freezer until this week's recall, apparently has many fans who share their love for the diseased-meat snacks on Twitter. But how many of these pre-recall Hot Pockets tweets ended in death?

What does "unsound" even mean in the context of industrially raised animals that live their entire short lives in unfathomable horror? And is "Stoned Wonka" now more accurately described as "Dead Wonka"?

Just Netflix and Hot Pockets, that's all anyone needs. And burial insurance. Did you know burial insurance can be purchased online, probably! But people who are actually proud of eating Hot Pockets are the kind of people most likely to be dumped in the trash after they die.

A great cost saving gift is to buy a 12 pack of Hot Pockets then individually gift wrap each one to the 12 people you love the most.

Granite countertops. The 1950s had rockabilly, the '60s had the Black Panthers, the '70s had punk, the '80s had The Smiths, and the interminable period between the late 1990s and today has granite countertops. Also what is that, a diseased intestine escaping the Hot Pocket in the microwave?

Thanks to the World's best Twitter account for inspiring this post, which we hope will inspire you to be a better person who doesn't eat vile garbage such as Hot Pockets. Top image by Jim Cooke, who can't stop putting skulls on my posts.