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By M. Nora Bouchard

How many times has your boss blown off your weekly one-on-one meeting?

How many times have you done the same to a direct report?

How can you create a one-on-one that no one wants to miss?

It is possible!

We have limited time to get our work done, let alone spending precious minutes communing with our bosses. To make the most of your time with your boss or your direct reports, keep in mind the following:

1. Shift your mindset. See these meetings as development opportunities, not just opportunities to “check in.” Decide that you are going to use the time to learn about each other, the challenges faced by your team, and how to grow your leadership.

2. Limit status reporting to 5 minutes. If you must cover status, do it quickly. Better to submit a bulleted summary or a dashboard than waste precious time reviewing each project.

3. Share success, not problems. Be sure to celebrate at least one success in your time together. Your boss will appreciate hearing good news for a change. Kick off your agenda with a success story. The resulting energy will set the tone for the rest of the meeting. And if you have more than one story, save it for the end. That way you both leave the meeting with a great buzz!

4. Present your ideas and get your boss’ reaction. Prove to your boss that you can solve issues. Rather than asking him/her what they think you should do about a particular issue, offer up a suggestion. Then, discuss it openly — pros and cons. It’s easier for a boss to respond to a suggestion than to delve into the detail and then come up with an answer herself

5. Talk about the latest Forbes article, or training topic. Take a leadership principle from the article and discuss how it might work on your team. Make agreements on how you will roll it out to the group.

6. Plan your next team meeting. Together, brainstorm the needs you see on the team. Classify them under headings like: communication, problem solving, confrontation, client service, etc. Brainstorm ways to address these needs in the next team away day.

7. Perform a goal check-in. You probably set goals at the beginning of the year. Talk about them! Discuss your progress and don’t wait for mid-year to do it!

8. Discuss rumors. You hear them though your boss might not. It’s good to get them out in the open since many of them turn out to be true. Discuss how best to deal with the rumor mill and agree how to present a united front.

9. Discuss examples of good/not so good leadership. Examples show up daily just in the national news. Pick a situation. Review the facts as they are known. And then say, “What I might have done in her situation is…” Avoid being overly judgmental. Remember there’s probably someone out there right now being critical of your own leadership! Use this exercise is to develop you as a leader, not a complainer.

Review strengths. Share what is currently energizing you at work. Discuss how you might be able to create more of that energy on a daily basis.

Dream about what could be. Brainstorm what-ifs. Kick back and talk about where the team is headed, as well as trends in the industry. Discuss how you could bring these dreams to life.

Discuss your boss’ biggest challenges. Turn the tables and ask questions of your supervisor. What are the most difficult aspects of his/her job? What keeps him/her up at night? What surprises him/her most about the work? Then offer to help her!

Share your networks. Are you both with 85 Broads? If not, you should be. Discuss which networks seem to meet the needs of your industry. Ask for advice on the contacts you should try to cultivate. When meeting with your own direct reports, offer up names of key contacts that have proved helpful to you. Talk about relevant associations and how you both can have greater impact with them.

Ask for feedback. Avoid general questions like, “How am I doing?” It’s too vague and it beckons a wide open response. Go for something more actionable and specific, like, “What do you think I can do to improve in project management?” Or, “What suggestions do you have for me as I interact with our key stakeholders?”

Relax. Spend time connecting with your supervisor or your direct report as people. Be a person, not a boss or employee. Get to know who they are. Let them know you. You may be surprised that the both of you end up looking forward to your one-on-ones!

M. Nora Bouchard, master executive coach, has over 25 years of experience in developing leaders. Nora is also author of Mayday! Asking for Help in Times of Need. Contact her at www.mnorabouchard.com or at nora@mnorabouchard.com.