Neither. Happy, actually. You seemed like a cool guy and always had highly upvoted comments. You have a decent amount of respect on this site. Clearly whatever's going on with you IRL was too bad for you to properly handle, given that you tried to off yourself. If you ever feel suicidal again, message me. I'll help you feel better as best I can. Here's a badger, for help 'n' stuff. I have named him Gerald.