Early reviews of the music on Bangerz are mixed. But reviews focused on the lyrical windows opened into Miley and Liam Hemsworth's relationship (as in this faux-review I am writing now) are universally positive. Because you could view listening to to Bangerz as like being M&L's third wheel, and that's delightful.

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The album makes us all that awkward friend who's always there in the background, passively, just pretending to text/file the nails while the relationship transpires. We now all know what went on (and what went wrong) even better than the tabloids.

Thus, below, the story of their tumultuous coupling in eleven insightful lyrics:

1. From "Love Money Party," track #7: "I've been through heartbreaks / Much more than anyone with a human heart can take"
Breaking up with a Jonas Brother can have that effect on a person.

2. Anyway, souls bared, things get hot and heavy. From "Get It Right," track #8:"Would you believe / I'm dancing in the mirror / I feel like I got no panties on"

3. And pretty soon, courtesy of "Adore You," it's clear there's a serious commitment being made. It's like the loveliest love story Taylor Swift occasionally sings about:"I could do this for eternity / You and me / We're meant to be in holy matrimony"

4. But then, like every good TSwift ballad, there's a twist. A snafu. A "Wrecking Ball," if you will:"I never hit love so hard / All I wanted was to break your walls / All you ever did was wreck me"

Suddenly, everything is going wrong. A good half of the tracks on Bangerz allude to bad behavior on the part of, well, some guy that could be Liam.

5. Track #10 is titled "FU." Yes, "FU" stands for what you think it does: "I found the love I thought was gonna last / Then I accidentally saw a few things on your cell"
Honestly, when will cheating boyfriends learn they need to passcode protect their phones?!

6. From track #4, "SMS (Bangerz)": "One day he wants me / One day he wants me not / I don't to chances / 'Cause time isn't what I got"

"SMS (Bangerz)" does feature Britney Spears though, and Britney brings out the fiercest qualities in everyone.

7. Track #9, "Drive," has more defiant girl power, though this time it's tinged with tears:"You acted like you wanted this / But then you let me off" "All the broken promises I won't miss / When I look you in the eyes, all I see are the lies"

8. There's more on "FU":

"Oh you broke my heart… and now I'm crying, crying"

(Track #12, "Maybe You're Right," does allude to Miley ending things on her terms, at least.)