Chapter 58 – The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System

Chapter 58 -Hall of Delight, Hall of Fury, Hall of Sorrow

At first glance, the great beast appeared to be some sort of rhinoceros, a single horn curved like the crescent moon atop its head. But, opening its mouth and trumpeting, it spat out a giant scarlet python from its blood-red maw. The rhinoceros’ call mingled with the snake’s hissing cry, creating an especially shocking clamor.

Black + Moon + Rhinoceros + Python. Turns out the Black Moon Rhinoceros Python was really just the simple combination of these four elements. Great God Airplane Shooting Toward the Sky, your naming style is as dependable as always!

Zhuzhi-Lang diligently moved to stand in front of Tianlang-Jun, conveniently covering Shen Qingqiu as well. Upon seeing Luo Binghe, Shen Qingqiu had subconsciously moved closer to Zhuzhi-Lang’s back. It wasn’t that he was still fleeing Luo Binghe at every opportunity, but that he had a guilty conscience and no face to see him. He didn’t dare think what sort of mood Luo Binghe would be in after seeing him breathe his last breath before his eyes for the second time. He could only subconsciously act like the bell thief who plugged his ears up,2 pretending that if the eyes could not see, the heart would not be disturbed.

Tianlang-Jun raised an eyebrow, this expression also bearing a remarkable resemblance to Luo Binghe. “And he wouldn’t hesitate to capture two hundred Black Moon Rhinoceros Pythons to break the wards around the Holy Mausoleum. Peak Lord Shen, this son of mine really does hold some extraordinary feelings towards you.”

Shen Qingqiu had no retort to that. This was the demonic beast which, in the original work, could render even the Endless Abyss with its call. And for breaking into the Holy Mausoleum, Luo Binghe had captured two hundred of them for a single-time use.

After the dust settled, Shen Qingqiu could finally see clearly━Luo Binghe had indeed single-handedly broken into the Holy Mausoleum. The Holy Mausoleum was both sacred land for the Demon Race and a forbidden area. Any native of the Demon Race would cherish and revere it, not daring to violate the grounds. This was a question of faith━no one would dare come with him, so of course, he would be alone.

Tianlang-Jun closed his eyes for a spell. Opening them again, he said, “Your courage is commendable. It’s just that while you yourself coming here is no big deal, you should not have brought along these two strays.”

Luo Binghe calmly leaped from the Rhinoceros Python’s head. The great beast had exhausted the last of its energy and, unable to continue any longer, fell to the ground with a loud bang. He fixed an unwavering glare on Shen Qingqiu, sparks bursting in his eyes, looking like he was both boiling with anger and about to cry. Shen Qingqiu suddenly had a delayed reaction. Just now he had dodged behind Zhuzhi-Lang━it looked too much like he was avoiding Luo Binghe again!

But now it was too late for any explanation. The one standing here was the male protagonist’s dad, the one the author stamped with the all-around strength to crush the protagonist into a paste! Shen Qingqiu finally found his voice to yell, “Go back!”

Luo Binghe didn’t reply. He raised his hand, tossing over Xiu Ya. Only after seeing Shen Qingqiu catch the sword did he turn towards the other two people standing in the mausoleum hall. Collecting two fiercely roiling balls of demonic energy in his palms, he shot straight over, not bothering to dodge.

You’re starting to trade blows already?

Luo Binghe’s left hand smashed into Zhuzhi-Lang’s abdomen, sending him flying without the least concern for his welfare. His right hand flew out to hit Tianlang-Jun. Shen Qingqiu was tense from head to toe, watching from the sidelines with rapt attention.

And Tianlang-Jun caught the blow! Not retreating a single step, he smoothly turned his hand, sliding through Luo Binghe’s defenses to brush against his shoulder.

Are you just picking on the son now that you’re not picking on the dad!

Tianlang-Jun had only given Luo Binghe a light pat on the shoulder, but that arm broke off again. Tianlang-Jun wrinkled his brows, and Zhuzhi-Lang immediately picked it up for him, presenting it with both hands. Luo Binghe didn’t bother to wipe off all of the blood. An ominous glint flashing through his eyes, he reached to grab Xin Mo from its place on his back. Tianlang-Jun said, “The sword is a good sword. It’s a pity your technique is a hideous mess.”

Luo Binghe called to Shen Qingqiu in a low voice, “Come with me!”

Zhuzhi-Lang said, “It’s too late, two hundred Black Moon Rhinoceros Pythons are only enough to hold open the Holy Mausoleum’s wards for an instant, just enough to let you in.”

Luo Binghe growled, “Then I’ll use you two as blood sacrifices and open it one more time!”

Who could have expected, before Xin Mo completely left the sheath, it was suddenly pushed back in. He didn’t know when Tianlang-Jun had moved to stand behind Luo Binghe, pressing the sword back into the sheath with one hand, actually keeping him from drawing the sword and causing trouble. Luo Binghe reacted in a flash, turning to face the attack. Who would have thought that, no matter how fast he was, the Heart Devil sword could only be drawn three inches at the most before it was immediately pressed back down? After a few rounds of this back and forth exchange, Tianlang-Jun seemed to have lost interest in playing with him. With a flick of his wrist, he stopped minding the Heart Devil sword and went to directly push down the top of his head.

Luo Binghe’s eyes snapped open. A rich cloud of purple-black energy spun around the top of his head. Tianlang-Jun lifted his hand. Giving a look at Luo Binghe’s snow-pale face, he commented impartially, “Looks like his mother.”

Before his words had fallen, Zhuzhi-Lang suddenly threw himself at the point of Shen Qingqiu’s sword!

He had put extraordinary strength into this movement, really going all out with no regard for his life. Shen Qingqiu never suspected it could be a temporary feint. Startling, he subconsciously withdrew his sword. Just as he pulled back the tip of his sword, Zhuzhi-Lang seized the opportunity to escape, flashing back to Tianlang-Jun’s side.

Tianlang-Jun made a “see” gesture, smiling, “I told you, Zhuzhi-Lang is a bit foolish. If someone tries to blackmail me by threatening him, he’ll seek death himself. Peak Lord Shen must never underestimate him by all means.”

Shen Qingqiu almost spat blood. As a hostage, Zhuzhi-Lang really had no value to speak of. Not only was he hard to pin down, after he had been seized with great difficulty there was no sense of achievement at all!

While speaking, his five fingers subtly curled. Luo Binghe gave a stifled groan, fresh blood flowing from the corners of his eyes, but he still turned his gaze towards Shen Qingqiu with great difficulty. Clenching his teeth against the blood foaming from his mouth, he gritted out, “…Go… anywhere is fine… just don’t stay here!”

Shen Qingqiu snapped up his head, Xiu Ya flying out to the front. Like white lightning streaking across the room, it stabbed towards Tianlang-Jun. He barely tilted his head and the blade brushed past his cheek, pinning itself into a mural far behind him with a clank.

Tianlang-Jun said, “Your aim isn’t very good.”

Shen Qingqiu slowly retracted his hand, a corner of his mouth curling up. “It’s accurate. I hit the bull’s eye.”

Tianlang-Jun startled slightly, turning his head at once only to see Xiu Ya neatly pierced through the eye of a smiling woman in the mural. The gem which had been inlaid in her pupil shattered, falling from the stone wall in numerous twinkling pieces.

That woman was undoubtedly just a face painted on the wall, but the corner of her mouth curved higher and higher like she was breaking into a happier smile. A corner of the grin slashed into her face split up to her ear, her bloody mouth wide open like a sacrificial bowl.

Suddenly, an incomparably piercing sound of laughter erupted in the middle of the mausoleum hall.

And this laughter, it was coming from the mouth of the woman painted on the wall!

The Hall of Delight had anti-theft measures. The wall was full of inlaid gems, but if you try to pry one out for yourself, just wait to be laughed to death by the auditory weapon of its demon sorceress!

It was clear that this laughter was especially effective against the Demon Race. After all, its main purpose was, of course, to guard against wandering tomb raiders within the Demon Race. It’s not like there were any humans who were bored enough or courageous enough to go tomb raiding in the Demon Realm. After the sound entered your ears, the heart and brains would madly pulse without end, there would be a wave of acute pain, the sky and earth spinning around you, flowers bursting in your eyes. Zhuzhi-Lang couldn’t help but cover his ears, and Tianlang-Jun also pulled away one hand to press against his temple. Shen Qingqiu was long prepared for this turn of events. Taking advantage of this split second of opportunity, he swiftly flitted across the hall. Raising his left hand, Xiu Ya responded and jumped back to its scabbard. His right hand grabbed Luo Binghe and he ran!

Charging into another hall of the mausoleum, the first thing Shen Qingqiu did was to lower the sluice gate, and shut it tight! The heavy stone door crashed to the ground, stirring up a cloud of dust. He could only find the mechanism to close the door, not the one to open it. Either way, it’s best if he can’t open the door, but just as he was thinking this, finally able to relax after all this struggle, he turned his head to look and fell to his knees on the spot.

Zhuzhi-Lang, one hand held tightly in his, blinked his eyes.

What sort of disaster has he set up this time━he managed to leave that father-son pair currently engaged in one-sided domestic violence in the Hall of Delight. This is too big an offense; there’s going to be a criminal investigation, ah! Shen Qingqiu shook off his hand, turning to strike at the stone door, when Zhuzhi-Lang grabbed on to him again. “Master Shen, don’t bother going back. Facing Junshang, he has no chance of succeeding.”

Shen Qingqiu was going to fall apart. He was that close. How could he have gotten the wrong person? It’s all because the laughing attack of the mural woman in the Hall of Delight was too strong, and in the faint twilight of flickering green candles, all three of them looked about the same at first glance in their black clothes. Was it because they were related that they all had the same sense of style?

Zhuzhi-Lang said, “It’s not that you grabbed the wrong person, Master Shen, it’s that I swapped the hand you grabbed.”

This was the last straw for Shen Qingqiu, and he smashed a fist into the stone door. “I wanted to be together with Luo Binghe in the first place!”

Zhuzhi-Lang started, then said, “Master Shen, weren’t you and he… already together long before?”

“…” With these people, it’s really hard to say!

Shen Qingqiu raised a hand to signal him to shut up. Turning and walking a few steps, he suddenly felt that the floor under his feet was not entirely flat. Zhuzhi-Lang had followed him over, and he hurriedly made a gesture for him to stop. “Don’t move!”

A huge woman’s face was spread across the floor of the grand hall. Right now, they were standing on its ear.

It was not the same woman as the one in the Hall of Delight. This face had none of that flirtatious beauty. Instead, it was fierce and fiendish, eye sockets split in greed, with thin eyes and a broad nose. It seemed that being ugly to the point of repulsion was its forte, looking like an ugly witch.

Shen Qingqiu cautioned, “Don’t step on the face.”

Zhuzhi-Lang: “…”

This whole floor was its face, if you can’t step on the face where would you step…

Delight, Fury, Sorrow━these three halls were layered one after another. After passing through the first layer of the Hall of Delight, the one immediately following should be the “Hall of Fury.”

When the original Luo Binghe had visited (plundered) the Holy Mausoleum and cleared this level, he had used a special step pattern to cross. Unfortunately, Shen Qingqiu couldn’t clearly remember which steps he had taken. If they carelessly misstepped, the anti-theft measures in the Hall of Fury would launch. They couldn’t get around the puzzle by flying on their swords, since passing directly above the floor would count as a step.

That said, of course having your face stepped on would make you angry━no wonder this was the Hall of Fury!

He dared to rush in here because he thought the one he had grabbed was Luo Binghe, who must have known the step pattern. But, who knew that this snake would be slippery enough to swap out people in a split second!

The ground underneath their feet grew hotter and hotter. At first, the woman’s face on the ground had been scarlet, but as the temperature rose it gradually deepened to crimson. Shen Qingqiu squatted to test the temperature and immediately withdrew his hand as soon as it brushed the ground. It was hot, as if there was a fire blazing under the floor; as if even just standing on the floor would roast you like meat on a hot plate. It seems that he had already unwittingly stepped on the face a few times just now. Shen Qingqiu retreated a few steps, drawing as close to the side of the room as possible.

Suddenly, a boiling-bright golden-red liquid burst from the ground like a fountain.

Zhuzhi-Lang transformed into his original form in an instant, a yellow-eyed green snake coiled on the ground with scales flashing in the light. Rearing his upper body and letting out a hissing cry, he was as tall as four men. He rolled Shen Qingqiu into a ball, securely wrapped inside a layer of scaly armor. His thick forest of white fangs pressed close to Shen Qingqiu’s head. Looking at the huge golden eyes from up close, they were even more fierce and strange.

Tianlang-Jun was certainly right, Zhuzhi-Lang was indeed a bit foolish. Didn’t he remember that time he was fumed up by realgar wine until he was shedding tears into the wind? And just now, didn’t he remember being held at swordpoint? In this sort of situation, he still put his heart into shielding him like this━it was simply making Shen Qingqiu feel sorry for picking on him.

Suddenly, with a huge rumbling sound, one of the side walls of the Hall of Fury toppled over in one piece.

Through the cloud of smoke pervading the air, Tianlang-Jun worked his wrist while walking down the pile of rubble from the overturned wall. Stepping into the Hall of Fury, he said, “I don’t know if this is just my misperception, but it seems Peak Lord Shen is more familiar with the Holy Mausoleum than even me.”

Before Tianlang-Jun had shown a questioning expression, he had already walked six or seven steps across the woman’s face on the ground.

Shen Qingqiu: “…”

Zhuzhi-Lang: “…”

A pillar of magma thick enough to enclose four men shot towards the sky, instantly engulfing Tianlang-Jun in a raging blaze.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Shen Qingqiu was internally howling with laughter. See what happens when you don’t let people finish talking! Let you beat up your dear son! Go ahead and show off, even if you pretend, pride comes before the fall3!

But soon, he couldn’t laugh anymore. Luo Binghe staggered along close behind him, also rushing into the hall. One of his arms hung slack at his side like it had been completely broken, blood poured from his head without end, and one of his eyes wouldn’t open anymore.

How cruel. This wretched a state, Luo Binghe had been beaten into an even worse state by the original goods since the last time he saw him. What is up with Luo Binghe’s constitution? Why is this elder so fond of using force to educate him? This isn’t Bai Zhan Peak!

Zhuzhi-Lang ran frantic circles around that fiery pillar, too busy to care about the others. Luo Binghe carefully took in the scene in the hall and, lowering his head again to look, jumped off the pile of rubble, taking a few steps to arrive at Shen Qingqiu’s side in a flash.

This isn’t scientific at all! How did he manage to know where to step to avoid triggering the mechanism at first glance?

Luo Binghe seemed to have guessed what he was thinking, explaining concisely, “Step on the acupuncture points.”

While speaking, the two had already crossed through the Hall of Fury, entering the next level. After the stone door was locked down, Shen Qingqiu couldn’t help but take two more looks at Luo Binghe to make sure he hadn’t gotten the wrong person this time.

Shen Qingqiu stood at the periphery of the mausoleum hall, not daring to make a hasty move. The demon sorceress presiding over the “Hall of Sorrow” perched at the zenith of the hall. Raising his head to look, sure enough, a woman’s face was painted on the ceiling, eyebrows drawn high and tight-knit, mellow and in deep lamentation. Sensing the presence of intruders, the face’s eyes opened. Its features twisting into motion, the expression grew increasingly miserable. First, a few drops of water seeped from its eyes and pattered to the ground, and before long, a thick drizzle floated down from the high ceiling.

He was just going to call a warning not to let this ghostly rain touch their bodies when Luo Binghe raised an arm to cover him, rushing directly across with the two of them shielded that way. In one moment of inattention, Shen Qingqiu had already been dragged through this level at top speed.

The original Luo Binghe walked the path of exacting technique, but this matter right now, this method is really too simple and crude!

Delight, Fury, and Sorrow, these three-layered halls were a side story that dragged out for two hundred thousand words, but counting up the events just now, it wasn’t even enough for one chapter?! At least the Hall of Sorrow should have been dragged out for ten chapters before it finished, but now? Was it even enough for three lines?!

The System chirped out a notification: 【Cut down on filler plot, refined storyline, B Points + 100！】

But this is really too much cutting!

After exiting the three holy halls, there was a dark and still tomb passage. As soon as the two left the Hall of Sorrow, the green firelight gradually brightened, row after row stretching endlessly out into the distance.

The anti-theft measures of the Holy Mausoleum were thorough to an insane degree, and Last Breath candles were piled up everywhere like they grew on trees. Blind drooling corpses, which had been wandering mindlessly in the tomb passage, shuffled over as they entered. With a cold and impatient look, Luo Binghe raised one hand, and they unwittingly let out a low chorus of hisses, a wheezing puff of breath filling their throats, before they retreated back into the shadows with lowered heads.

Without sparing a glance at Shen Qingqiu, Luo Binghe retracted his hand and said, “Let’s go.”

Shen Qingqiu noticed a fierce redness on Luo Binghe’s face, glaringly obvious under the dark green candlelight. It seemed that it was definitely not out of embarrassment. Before, every time Luo Binghe caught Shen Qingqiu, he would fix a fierce and rigid glare on him, but this time he didn’t even look. Seeing Shen Qingqiu’s gaze, he even avoided his eyes, subconsciously using his unbroken left hand to wipe away the bloodstains by his eyes.

Shen Qingqiu suspected that he had been poisoned, or that he had suffered too serious a knock on the head, but Luo Binghe’s gait was still steady so it didn’t seem to be that sort of issue.

He was just planning to open his mouth and ask about the situation when Luo Binghe rushed to get in his words first. “This body, are the spiritual veins working well?”

Shen Qingqiu never would have anticipated this to be the first thing he said. Startling, he replied, “They’re normal.”

It seemed that every time they sunk into silence, the one to take initiative and break it was Luo Binghe. He recalled that Luo Binghe had spent five years’ time restoring this body’s spiritual veins bit by bit.

Luo Binghe nodded and said, “That’s good. The other body, I preserved it for a few days, but it still withered in the end. If there were also problems with this body, that would not have been good.”

As soon as the soul left a body created by the Sun and Moon Dew Flower Seed, it would die at once, withering and disappearing in a moment. For Luo Binghe to have sustained it for several days, he didn’t know how much spiritual energy he had wasted on this meaningless endeavor, and he still dared to storm the Holy Mausoleum alone right afterward. Shen Qingqiu’s chest felt a bit stuffy, and he scrambled to find a topic of conversation with his thoughts in a scattered mess. Just now, Tianlang-Jun seemed to have said that Luo Binghe “brought along these two strays.” Shen Qingqiu asked, “Who else did you bring?”

Luo Binghe finally gave him a glance and said, “I came alone.”

Reika’s Notes:

This chapter is by Lily of BC Novels.

I cheered Shen Qingqiu when he did the whole “hero saves the beauty” routine, only to laugh when he found out that he had rescued the wrong person! Shizun, 🐍 ≠ 🐑 a snake is not the same as a sheep!

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掩耳盗铃 (Yăn’ĕr dàolíng) To cover one’s ears when he steals the bell. This is referring to a story of a thief who stole a bell. The bell was too large for him to carry so he decided to smash into pieces. Since the sound it made when he hit it was too loud, he used a cloth to plug his ears, thinking to mask the sound but the neighbors heard the loud noises and caught the thief.

Originally 装B遭雷劈, roughly translates to “showing off invites being struck by landmines”, I felt it would be less awkward if I replaced it with a comparable English idiom.

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73 thoughts on “Chapter 58 – The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System”

God Shizun and Bing He please…I end up making doujin of them instead working….welp…this part are so hillarious..Thank you for translating this.
Let me share this with you guys fellow Bing He x Shizun lover hehehe

“This isn’t Bai Zhan Peak” lol wait until LQQ heard that hahahaha.. and who are those people that came with LBH aaaahhhh D: but this chapter is still cute for me.. hahaha our Bingmei can’t look at Shizun hahahahaha

Exactly. These MLs have to suffer for their oblivious shous til they get the lovin..Breaks my heart \o/ -thinking about Lan WangJi ;-;- At least they get happy endings and will always cherish their special one.

LOL, I can’t get over how easily Tianlang-Jun was caught by the trap.. He was introduced as if he’s become a huge villain in the story, but even as noted by SQQ, the “arc” was finished so quickly, and he defeated (for now at least)…
Aww, but Binghe sees his Shizun in the flesh after so long…
“I wanted to be together with Luo Binghe in the first place”

hahahaha omg when SQQ says Luo Bing Mei has angry and red eyes as if he wants to cry, hahahaha crybaby LBH so cute! Also when Shizun is laughing on the inside due to TLJ’s arrival but immediately stops when his own cute disciple arrives too!

Thank you for your hard effort!
Poor shizun, taking the wrong person 😭😭 LBH, you’ve been an asshole these last chapters, but you really loves ypur shizun, don’t you? You just need to learn beeing a bit more considerate 😖 Don’t you try to rape your shizun ever again! 🤧
I want them to be happy together, I can’t aaaaaaaaaa
I’m happy they are together now. Who is this second person with Luo Binghe? I hope it’s not someone looking for trouble 🙁
Thanks again for the chapter! I’m looking foward the next 😁

What a loyal person this ZZL is, whether it’s TLJ or SQQ 😉 Hope they are finally getting their resolution. Thanks for the update! On a side note, I didn’t know that this will have a donghua 🙂 I’m so happy with this news 😉 Bromance is enough, given China’s restriction. How are we going to show our support or how can we help? Yihee~

Kyaaaaahhh!
This chapter is just chokeful of feels.
Wifey is so worried for hubby.
And, THAT “grabbed the wrong person” scene is just too frustrating for SQQ and for me. Like 😫😫😫
I almost thought their separation will be dragged within 2-3 chapters. Thank Gawd, author-sama was sensible. 🙏🙏

ZZL is just… too cute. And poor LBH’s heart is still breaking, isn’t it? First he crashes in to see his Shizun hide behind another guy, then his Shizun grabs said guy and leaves him to be beaten up by his dad.

Hi thanks for the update. I’m currently one of the Writers for the wiki and some help would be appreciated! Lecien and I are the only two Working on it atm and I’m writing for two other wikis along with my own fanfic so I’m kinda slowing down in my progress right now!