Oh Em Eff Gee! No, no, I’m indeed not dead. In fact, the lazy arse actually managed to find a decent temporary job while waiting for her next university life to commence (hopefully) in February. You see, there’s so much to write about everything, I simply couldn’t decide on one topic to babble on about. I rolled a dice; now I shall present whoever still visits with yet another embarrassing story in everybody’s favourite category (woohoo?).

As everybody already knows, I do it solo all night every night. Literally. Well, sort of. Aaanyway, since I’m not really as open and selfish as people thought I am, I always keep everything down — especially considering that I still live with my parents, and the brother’s room is just next to mine.

So then there was this weekend that Bro and I decided to play an old and out(?) game called Beat Mania on the PlayStation together. We played through every single song once, until this song called “Do It All Night” popped up. We’ve played the song so many times over the years.

“It’s so your song,” Bro commented suddenly while the song was loading. “You do it all night.”

Speechless, I sat there, not sure whether to laugh or blush or argue or deny. “Caught ya!” I could almost hear my brother say. It’s not that people don’t already know what I do all the time, but to be “confronted” like that after so many nights… Gosh, perhaps he’s been waiting for this chance to tell me that he knew when I’d been doing it all along.

I headed back to my room after supper and took trusty vibrator #2 out. Now that I think about it, Trusty #2 is actually rather loud even when it wasn’t on full power. It must be her that Bro knew. It had to be.

I looked at the vibrator one last time: it’s rather worn out being used so frequently for almost 4 years. See, that little piece was kind of falling out, the other side wouldn’t start sometimes and I almost had to kick it to get it working, and the batteries always choose the best time to die…

I giggled at the thought despite myself; considered chucking the vibrator in the bin for a moment but decided against it. Perhaps. Perhaps she’d be useful again one day.

“It’s been fun, Trusty #2, really,” I told her as I gently placed her back to where she always rested. “Rest in peace, darling. I’ll miss you.”

But oh, this can’t possibly be the end of Vickie’s fun nightlife. What is it you say you see Vickie has in her hands? That’s right! Trusty vibrator #3: bigger, better and much quieter.

Heh heh.

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Now, I must say, I’ve been reading you regularly since.. your last post.. waiting for a reply. You seem like a very interesting person and I’ve enjoyed what you’e written so far. I hope it won’t be another four months until your next post.

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Vickie Diablos is an unemployable bum allegedly qualified to work in the health IT field, a hardcore gamer geek and a socially awkward logic and science nerd. She thought keeping a "cool blog" would make her a cool person. Alas. More »