The Amused

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Tuesday, September 28, 2010

There are a lot of Americans (and I suppose non-Americans too) who have strong opinions on the current President of the United States.

One such person is the mother of a friend of mine. This woman is addicted to the news networks, whether it be CNN, MSN, FOX, etc. AND she watches her grandchildren fairly often.

My in-laws have a rule: What happens at Nana's, stays at Nana's. This includes what is said, watched, done, not done, etc.

It will become very obvious soon, but it seems like the same is true with my friend's mother.

Anywho, my friend, with children in tow, walked in to a VERY crowded McDonald's. One of the nice ones with the big aquarium and TV's everywhere.

As she and her children stood in line, a news story about the POTUS came on the TV.

Her youngest son, taking note of the story, pointed at the screen and very loudly asked, "Is that the man who's going to ruin our country?"

There are only two reactions here: Laugh hysterically. Or die of embarrassment.

Regardless, I'm glad it wasn't me.

Silver Lining:

My friend is still alive so that whole "die of embarrassment" thing is a myth.

I am seeking new and effective ways of needling information out of my kids so that I can avoid this type of situation. Although, I don't think my parents or my in-laws are quite this opinionated on the subject. But you never know . . .

Friday, September 24, 2010

I was in Springfield, Missouri a week or so ago. It's a college town. And you know those crazy college kids. Away from the parents, having wild parties, maybe feeling a little too uninhibited. . .

But I had no idea STD's were running so rampant that they had a need for this establishment:

SERIOUSLY!?!?!?!

Especially this little tid-bit of information:

New, Used & Abused?

175 Booths? I didn't know there were so many.

Good grief, I hope they don't offer frequent shopper cards!

That's one variety shop I wouldn't touch with a twenty foot pole (isn't that the length of a stripper pole?). I felt dirty just getting close enough to take the picture.

Silver Lining:

I did not see any cars in the parking lot. Then again, when I took the picture it was the middle of the afternoon. Perhaps they only open at night, you know, for anonymity purposes.

So sad, but I can only come up with one silver lining notation. But it's a list and you can't have a list of only one item (learned that in 3rd grade grammar or something like that) so I felt the need for another item. So you get me just rambling on about the need for more than one item to make a list. So very, very sad.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

I'm in sales. That requires a lot of face to face time. But it also requires a lot of phone time.

And I'm terrible about using my phone.

It's an inanimate object! But for whatever reason, I hated sitting down and making phone calls.

Until someone suggested that I give it a name and make friends with my phone.

It's so much fun to do things with a friend, right?

Ladies, we go to the bathroom together. We compare our kids' poop together. We shop together. We even get in trouble together.

Friends will come and go.

And so will phones.

I had a pink phone. She was great. She was shiny. She had a little butterfly that floated across the display when I closed her up, a slot for cell phone charms, the right ring tones for all my friends, and she was pink.

I named her Lucille.

Hey, Luuuuuucy! Let's go have some fun.

And I'd make my phone calls. I smiled when it was time to hang with Lucille. It meant I hardly had to think about where to put my fingers to dial each number. It meant I would be making a connection with my customers. It meant I would make a sale.

But one day, Lucille broke.

Her data port died. Trapped inside were all my phone numbers, all the ring tones, all the fun.

Lucille's warranty had run out, but my contract hadn't. I couldn't get a new phone until January!

Well, I could, but I'd have to pay full price. I could get an el-cheapo, but that also meant something boring.

No shine.

No butterflies.

No pink.

I was deeply saddened.

But wait! Hubby to the rescue!

He had a phone that didn't hold enough battery power for him so his office had replaced said phone with a fancy-schmancy touch screen, not-an-I-Phone-but-what-ever-got-as-close-as-possible-on-the-Sprint-network phone.

This phone had a touch screen with a keyboard on it. This was Lucille's one downfall. She only had a number pad so she was no good at texting and didn't have internet.

The phone that wasn't good enough for Hubby, but would rescue me from shelling out money on a phone, would text and have the internet. This was exciting!

Hubby charged up the phone and reset everything so it was a clean slate.

Yay! I had a phone!

The phone was black with silver accents. It had a screen and all these buttons right out there in the open. It didn't flip open, it was just there all the time. If you forgot to turn off the screen when you were on a call, you could do all kinds of things by accident.

Set yourself in airplane mode.

Connect to the internet.

Play Bubble Breaker.

It was kind of sleek.

It needed a name.

It's kind of a guy-ish looking phone.

Ramone.

That rolls off the tongue, "R-r-r-r-ramoooone." Kind of breathy and sexy like.

"R-r-r-r-ramoooone."

Purr for me . . .

Ramone and I could lock ourselves in a room for an hour and have a secret rendezvous. Not really since I'd be calling customers, but anywho. . .

I immediately changed my phone plan so I could text and use the internet. Oooo, we were going to jump into the 21st century!

Life with Ramone sounded exciting!

Unfortunately, that never really happened. Ramone has a disappointing interface, you have to use a stylus with the onscreen keyboard and dialing by only touch is impossible.

Ramone has internet, but I can't connect him to my computer for use as an internet connection.

Ramone and I never developed that lovey-dovey relationship.

But, what's this?

Hubby got a new job?

And a new phone?

And the old fancy-schmancy touch screen, not-an-I-Phone-but-what-ever-got-as-close-as-possible-on-the-Sprint-network, has an actual slide-out keyboard, a user friendly icon interface, and hacked built in computer wi-fi connectivity phone could be mine?

And I can get a pretty, shiny case so it doesn't look like a plain, black guy-ish phone?

Well, folks, meet Veronica!

Silver Lining:

She's pretty. She's got some pink. She's got shine. She's all mine!

Hubby taught me how to make my own ring tones so I know who's calling me before I look at the phone.

I'll still get a pretty hefty loyalty credit in January that I can use toward another phone. But I'm so excited about Veronica, I think I'll just hold on to it in case of an emergency.

Published for Your Pleasure by
Pollyanna

You can call me anything you like, but my name is Veronica

2010-09-14T14:07:00-05:00

Pollyanna

Friends|Hubby to the Rescue|My Phone|Veronica|Welcome to Dork-dom|Work|

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Hubby's debit card number has been compromised on more than one occasion and I like catching things like that before we're out of money. Like last year, when we had $700 in charges from a bar in Madrid. Spain.

FYI - we've never been there.

Anywho, I'm just scrolling down the list and I see this:In case you can't read that, it says, "FKG OIL COMPANY PPD PREAUTHPMT"

I don't know when the oil company started texting their information to the bank, but it must be a recent phenomena. Surely, I would have noticed them using my pet name (albeit in text form) for them before today. Although, I usually use that expletive in the winter when the bill is much higher.

Oh, well. At least they have finally come to terms with who they are.

Silver Lining:

It's summer so we're saving money on gas. But that also means the air conditioner has been running non stop so all that savings goes to the electric company. At least it balances out for the most part.

I'm not really as old as I feel some days. I was able to decipher the text message so I must still have a little bit of a young person inside.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

If you've never seen it, you need to make a point of watching a few episodes.

Anywho, in the episode that was just on (a better summary and video is here), the four main characters find a box at a garage sale filled with comic book, movie & TV memorabilia. An A.L.F. doll, an Aquaman, Mr. Spock's head on Mr. T's body, and most importantly a ring.

The scene plays out like this (my comments are in the parenthesis):

Leonard: Why do I always have to carry the heavy stuff?Sheldon: It’s very simple. In our ragtag band of scientists with nothing to lose I am the smart one, Wolowitz is the funny one and Koothrappali is the lovable foreigner who struggles to understand our ways and fails. That leaves you by default as the muscle.Leonard: One more floor and I’d be the pulled muscle.[They enter the apartment, where Penny is]Penny (the pretty neighbor who is dating Leonard): Oh, it is about time, I am starving!Leonard: Well, we didn’t actually get Chinese food.Penny: Why not?Leonard: Don’t panic, this is better!

(Better if you're a geek)

Leonard: We were on our way to the Chinese restaurant when we thought we saw Adam West, so we followed him.Penny: Who is Adam West?Sheldon: What, who is Adam West? Leonard what do the two of you talk about after the coitus?Wolowitz: My guess is: ‘hey four minutes, new record!‘ [Turns to Raj] That’s why I’m the funny one![Sheldon finds a ring at the bottom of the box]Sheldon: Fascinating!Leonard: What?Sheldon: It appears to be a Lord of the Rings ring.Koothrappali: It even got the Elvishian graving on it.Sheldon: It’s not Elvish, it’s the language of Mordor written in Elvish script. One ring to rule them all.Koothrappali: One ring to find them.Wolowitz: One ring to bring them all.Leonard: And in the darkness bind them.

At this point I notice that my Husband is speaking out loud. He is quoting Lord of the Rings with them!

Koothrappali: Holy crap we are nerdy!

(No frickin' kidding)

Yeah, just lump Hubby in with that group. I'm so proud.

Silver Lining:

I knew he was a geek when I married him and I married him anyway.

He knows he's a geek too. It's good to be comfortable in your own skin.