Monday, October 24, 2011

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (10-24-11)

LOHAN LUNACY

Lindsay Lohan Showed Up Early For Community Service Friday . . . and She Brought Food:

LINDSAY LOHAN spent Friday doing janitorial work at the L.A. County Morgue . . . and check this out: She showed up for her duties almost 90 minutes EARLY. -Lindsay was supposed to be there at 7:00 A.M. Her rep says she was there at 5:35. (--Here's video of her arrival. It's still dark outside.) --Lindsay had three dozen cupcakes sent to the morgue in the morning to make up for being late the previous day . . . but the delivery guy was TURNED AWAY. (--Here's video.) --Assistant Coroner Ed Winter said, quote, "I had a discussion with Lindsay and she advised that she did not know the person who ordered the cupcakes. --"We discussed the issue of these types of incidents and that we would not allow such activity. I think that she got the message." --At lunchtime, Lindsay reportedly ordered In-N-Out Burger for herself and the other volunteers. Strangely, Winter claims this did NOT happen. --But her rep says, quote, "The report that Lindsay had lunches brought in for the other volunteers is completely accurate despite any claims to the contrary." --Meanwhile, a source tells TMZ that Lindsay saw her first dead body Friday . . . and she was, quote, "shocked". She also "covered her mouth in horror" when she first saw linens that were stained with blood and other bodily fluids. --But she's maintaining a positive attitude and even talking to the other people in her group. --We'll probably never see Lindsay toiling away inside the morgue. Staff has been warned that anyone caught taking pictures or video of Lindsay will be immediately terminated.

Lindsay Lohan Was Denied by the Lead Singer of Foster the People:

LINDSAY LOHAN followed up her morgue duty by hitting a West Hollywood club on Saturday night. And she had her sights set on MARK FOSTER . . . the lead singer of the band FOSTER THE PEOPLE. But he wasn't interested. --A source says, quote, "Mark turned his back every time Lindsay came to the table to talk. He did not want to be associated with her." But the band did hang with other celebrities . . . including Dane Cook, Nicky Hilton, and "Transformers" director Michael Bay.

Could Ashton Kutcher Be the Father of January Jones' Baby?

This is a pretty wild rumor, but you never know . . . There's talk that ASHTON KUTCHER is the father of JANUARY JONES' newborn baby. --It started with a "blind item" on a website appropriately called BlindGossip.com. They said, quote, "This married actor had a one-night stand with one of his exes, who is an actress in an acclaimed television show. She wound up pregnant. --"The actor's wife found out about the baby, and, to no one's surprise, went completely ballistic. Both the actor and his wife tried every tactic (money, lawyers, threats to ruin her career) to convince the ex to terminate the pregnancy." --January is, of course, on "Mad Men". She gave birth to her son Xander Dane Jones in September and never revealed the father's identity. She didn't even put his name on the kid's birth certificate. --She and Ashton dated from 1998 to 2001. (--Here's an interesting photo of them in happier times.) (Fox News) --Of course, nothing about Ashton's extracurricular romantic activities has been confirmed. But the tabloids would like us to believe he's been stepping out on DEMI MOORE for quite some time. --In fact, one online report claims Ashton started cheating just ONE MONTH after he married Demi back in 2005. --You probably don't remember this, but at the time, two guys claimed to have hacked into Ashton's voicemail messages and posted them online. --One of them was EXTREMELY graphic. It featured a girl recounting her night of giving Ashton some ORAL SATISFACTION, and saying that she'd like to BRING A FRIEND and see him again. --Well, the "National Enquirer" claims to have proven that at least one of those messages was legit . . . and if they're telling the truth, then maybe ALL of them were.

Kris Humphries Showed Up for Kim Kardashian's Birthday:

Despite rumors that they're leading separate lives and already heading for divorce, KIM KARDASHIAN and KRIS HUMPHRIES were together Friday night to celebrate Kim's 31st birthday at The Darby restaurant in Manhattan. --Then on Saturday night, they did dinner and hit a club in Las Vegas. --As for those pictures of Kris moving stuff out of the hotel he and Kim have been sharing . . . well, apparently they're BOTH moving back to Los Angeles, because Kim is done shooting her latest reality show, "Kim and Kourtney Take New York". --One last note on Kim . . . and it's actually a WARNING: Kim is trying to act again. She just got a part in the new TYLER PERRY movie "The Marriage Counselor". --She'll play a co-worker of the main character Judith . . . a marriage counselor who struggles in her own marriage --That one is about two guys who get transported to an alternate reality where everybody acts like they're in a porno movie. Kim's character was called Summa Eve. --TRACY MORGAN was also in it. His character was named . . . (--Careful) . . . Busta Nut. (???) (--Here's the trailer.) (--You also might notice that one of the leads is played by CHRIS PRATT . . . who's now on "Parks and Recreation", and is married to ANNA FARIS in real life.)

Justin Bieber Rented Out an Entire Movie Theater So He and Selena Gomez Could Watch "Real Steel":

Remember when JUSTIN BIEBER rented out the Staples Center so he and SELENA GOMEZ could have a romantic dinner and watch "Titanic"? Well, he did it again. Sort of. -This time, Justin rented a movie theater in Winnipeg, Canada, so he and Selena could watch "Real Steel" all by themselves. And instead of hitting the concession stand, they had pizza delivered.

During a gig in Connecticut on Saturday night, JENNIFER LOPEZ cried onstage after doing a song about her past loves. --She told the crowd, quote, "I'm going to sing you the last song I wrote about love." Then she launched into "Until It Beats No More". --During the song, a J-Lo look-alike danced with guys who were supposedly made up to look like DIDDY, BEN AFFLECK, CRISS JUDD and finally, MARC ANTHONY. --When it was over she told the crowd, quote, "I took a trip down memory lane" . . . then she started to cry. She got a standing ovation out of it. (--Meanwhile, "Us Weekly" says Jennifer is enjoying the way BRADLEY COOPER has been pursuing her . . . and things seem to be going well on that front. You can read more about that here.)

When Kate Winslet Realized The House She Was Staying At in the Bahamas Was On Fire, One of Her First Thoughts Was to Put On a Bra:

When KATE WINSLET realized she was in the middle of a house fire at RICHARD BRANSON'S vacation home in the Caribbean, one of the first things she thought to do was . . . PUT ON A BRA. (???) --Kate and her family were vacationing with Branson and his clan over the summer when a lightning strike ignited the house. The place eventually burned to the ground . . . but Kate helped carry Branson's elderly mother to safety before it did. --She says, quote, "I jumped up and ran immediately towards the fire, because clearly I thought I could put it out. --"My children were standing at their bedroom door, and I said, 'It's a fire, it's fine. Go back inside just for two minutes and just close the door.' --"Then I'm thinking, 'Now what do I do?' I ran into the bedroom and put on a bra. In disastrous moments like that, you do the strangest things. --"So I started to put on a bra and thought 'No, that's going to take me too long.' Off came the bra, on went the t-shirt. I grabbed the bag, grabbed the children and I picked up Granny." (--This is from the season premiere of BBC America's "The Graham Norton Show". It airs on Saturday. But you can watch the video here.)

Madonna Has a Brother Who Is Homeless and Living Under a Bridge:

MADONNA has seven siblings . . . and one of them lives UNDER A BRIDGE. (???) --Madonna's older brother Anthony Ciccone has been homeless for about a year and a half, and currently resides beneath the Union Street Bridge in Traverse City, Michigan. --He used to work at the Ciccone Vineyard . . . which is owned by his and Madonna's dad . . . but he lost that gig. (--He didn't say why.) He now makes his living collecting bottles and cans. --He also relies on local churches and Goodwill for food. --Anthony tells the "Michigan Messenger", quote, "My family turned their back on me, basically, when I was having a hard time. --"You think I haven't answered this kind of question a bazillion times . . . why my sister is a multibazillionarie, and I'm homeless on the street? Never say never. This could happen to anybody." --Anthony's not looking forward to the winter. Last year was pretty bad. He says, quote, "You have no idea how gruesome it is. You get nerve damage. --"That's the milder stage, in the severe stage you have tissue damage, that is when you lose parts of your body. I got frostbite on my feet last winter.""Paranormal Activity 3" Made $54 Million and Was the Biggest Horror Movie Opening Ever:

"Paranormal Activity 3" had a HUGE opening weekend. It made $54 million and set a record for the biggest horror movie opening of all time. The previous record-holder was "Paranormal Activity 2", which made $41.5 million when it came out last year. (--Check out a comparison of the three movies . . .)

--The new "Three Musketeers" didn't even crack the top 3. It made $8.8 million in 4th place. Here are this week's Top 10 movies . . .

1.) NEW: "Paranormal Activity 3", $54 million

2.) "Real Steel", $11.3 million. Up to $67.2 million in its 3rd week.

3.) "Footloose", $10.9 million. Up to $30.9 million in its 2nd week.

4.) NEW: "The Three Musketeers", $8.8 million

Check Out a Trailer for That Movie Angelina Jolie Directed:

A trailer for ANGELINA JOLIE'S directorial debut hit the web over the weekend. The movie is called "In the Land of Blood and Honey", and it's a drama (slash) love story set during the Bosnian War. (--The movie hits theaters December 23rd, but we don't know if it'll be a wide or limited release. Here's the trailer.)

Check Out an 11-Year-Old Scarlett Johansson Auditioning for "Jumanji":

In order to get her gig in the 1995 flick "Jumanji", KIRSTEN DUNST had to beat out a lot of other young actresses. --One of them was SCARLETT JOHANSSON. Video of Scarlett auditioning for the part when she was just 11 years old found its way to the World Wide Web of Awesomeness over the weekend. (--And you can check it out here.)

Will Ben Affleck Direct "The Stand"?

This might not sit well with STEPHEN KING fans, but there's a chance that BEN AFFLECK will direct the movie version of one of his most popular novels, "The Stand". --Nothing is definite, but Warner Brothers is said to be interested in Ben. (--This probably isn't that big a deal. Ben has actually proven himself to be a good director with "Gone Baby Gone" and "The Town". He's not that oaf who did "Daredevil" and "Gigli" anymore.) (--If you're worried that Ben doesn't have the horror cred, let's not forget that "Misery" . . . one of the best King adaptations of all time, was directed by ROB REINER . . . a.k.a. the director of "The Princess Bride" and "When Harry Met Sally".)

Charlie Sheen Is Now "Extremely Disappointed" in the New Season of "Two and a Half Men":

CHARLIE SHEEN was, quote, "really impressed" with "Two and a Half Men" after watching the season premiere, but his thoughts on the show have soured since then. --He now says that he's "extremely disappointed" with the way the producers are, quote, "handling what I left behind." On ASHTON KUTCHER, Charlie says, quote, "[He's] doing the best he can. I don't think the role is cursed." --"Two and a Half Men" has dropped in the ratings since Ashton debuted to 28 million viewers last month . . . but they're still a little up from where they were last year at this time. (--You can find video of Charlie's comments, here.)

Did Lea Michele Throw a Tantrum on the Set of "Glee" Over Meatballs?

"Star" magazine claims LEA MICHELE recently threw a FIT on the set of "Glee". Supposedly, she didn't want to take part in a scene featuring a FOOD FIGHT . . . because it involved meatballs, and she's VEGAN. --A so-called "insider" says, quote, "Everyone was supposed to throw spaghetti with meatballs, salad, and other assorted foods at each other. Lea pitched a fit, wanting no part of it. --"The thought of being hit by meatballs grossed her out, so she was adamant that absolutely none be thrown her way!" So, the producers asked the cast to only throw salad at Lea.

TV REMINDERS

Monday TV Reminders: (--Check your local listings.)

--"World Series: Game 5" . . . 8:00 to 11:00 P.M. Eastern on Fox. The Texas Rangers host the St Louis Cardinals at Rangers Ballpark in Arlington, Texas. The series is currently tied at two games apiece.

"Battlefield 3", "Puss in Boots", and Two Kinect Games Are Out This Week:

--"Battlefield 3" (M) . . . on Xbox360, PS3, and the PC. The latest game in the "Battlefield" franchise is a little different from the "Bad Company" games. For starters, you can go prone. This game also reintroduces jets to the vehicle list, and suppressive fire now has the effect of blurring your enemy's vision and reducing their accuracy.

So how does "Battlefield" differ from the "Call of Duty" games? The size of the maps is one big difference. "CoD" maps are designed for 6-man squads, while "Battlefield" has enormous multiplayer maps that, on the PC version, can handle up to 64 players.

With this one you also get destructible environments, meaning you can blow holes in the wall to make your own door. And then there are the vehicles. "Battlefield" lets you drive tanks and jeeps, or fly the helicopters and jets.

You also have the option to choose between multiple spawn points, and come back from your last death by either spawning at your base or on the front line by selecting any member of your squad. (Trailer) (Multiplayer Gameplay)

By the way, this game launches a new social feature called "Battlelog" with built-in text messaging, which lets you view game statistics, form platoons with your friends, comment on each other's stats, and access all of it from your mobile device. PC users can also use Battlelog to launch the game and join friends who are already playing.

--"Dance Central 2" (T) . . . for the Kinect on the Xbox360. The second game now has simultaneous two player gameplay in both cooperative and competitive modes. It includes music by Lady Gaga, Missy Elliott, Rihanna, Justin Bieber, Ciara, and Nicki Minaj. You can check out the full track list here. (Trailer)

--"Kinect Sports Season Two" (E) . . . on Xbox360. The sequel to the best selling Kinect game of all time lets you play golf, darts, baseball, skiing, tennis, and football with nothing but your hands. (Trailer)

--"Puss in Boots" (E10+) . . . on Xbox360, PS3, Wii, and DS. This game lets you use the motion control features of your favorite system to control Puss from the "Shrek" movies in his own stand alone adventure. (Trailer)

--"Disney Universe" (E) . . . on Xbox360, PS3, Wii, and PC. Up to four players can play this adventure game in costumes of favorite characters from such Disney franchises as "Monsters Inc.", "Tron", "Lilo & Stitch", and "WALL-E". (Trailer)

--"Dragon Ball Z: Ultimate Tenkaichi" (T) . . . on Xbox360, PS3, and Wii. You'll be able to create your own fighter in "Hero Mode" for the first time in a "Dragon Ball" inspired fighting game. This mode gives players the option of choosing from original outfits and hairstyles, and you can also adjust all their color schemes. (Full Story)

ESRB Game Ratings: (E) for Everyone; (T) for Teen; (M) for Mature (18+)

Video Game Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:

#1.) Olympic skier Jonny Moseley will host a web show called "The Controller" where six pro gamers compete at "Battlefield 3". The catch . . . the gamers are given real world physical challenges, and they have to train amateurs to play the video game. The competitors include several former "Real World" stars. (Full Story)

#2.) The PlayStation Vita will be released on February 22nd. (Full Story)

#3.) Sony has obtained the right to make "Assasin's Creed" movies. (Full Story)

#4.) The football game "NFL Blitz" is returning after nearly a decade. (Full Story)

#5.) IGN.com put together a list of video games that should be made into TV shows. "Grand Theft Auto", "Halo ODST", and "Silent Hill" are all on it.

NEW ON VIDEO THIS WEEK

--"Captain America: The First Avenger" - Chris Evans is Captain America, Hugo Weaving plays his nemesis, the Red Skull, and Tommy Lee Jones is the officer running the experimental program that turns a scrawny soldier named Steve Rogers into the super soldier who becomes Captain America.

--The "Pearl Jam Twenty" documentary, in which director Cameron Crowe charts the rise of Pearl Jam over the past 20-years.

--"Attack the Block" - An inner city street gang fights alien monsters that invade London. When you watch the trailer, that older chubby guy hanging with the teenagers is Nick Frost from "Shaun of the Dead".

--"Winnie the Pooh" - John Cleese is the narrator, and you'll recognize Craig Ferguson as the voice of Owl. You'll want to pay attention to Rabbit's voice too. He's played by Tom Kenny, the guy who's the voice of "Spongebob Squarepants".

--"Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale" - This movie was made in Finland . . . and it's about some explorers who find out the TRUTH about Santa deep within an icy mountain range near the top of the world. And it's not very warm OR fuzzy.

--"Dennis the Menace: Season 3" . . . a five-disc set. It ran for four seasons.

--"Survivor-Thailand: Season 5" . . . a boxed-disc DVD set.

--"Snapped: The Complete Second Season" . . . a two-disc set of the true crime series about women who's committed murder or at least attempted it.

NEW MUSIC OUT THIS WEEK

This Week's CD Releases:

--"Mylo Xyloto", Coldplay . . . It includes the track "Paradise", and their collaboration with Rihanna on the song "Princess of China". Revisit Chris Martin's explanation for the meaningless title here.

--"Songwriter", Paul Simon . . . A two-disc set of music Paul selected as the best of his career, including "The Sound of Silence", "The Boxer", "Bridge Over Troubled Water", "Mother and Child Reunion", and "Still Crazy After All These Years".

--"In the Key of Disney", Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys . . . performing his own versions of such classic Disney songs as "The Bear Necessities", "Kiss the Girl", "Colors of the Wind", "Heigh Ho", and "You've Got a Friend in Me".

--"Guitar Slinger", Vince Gill . . . It includes the single "Threaten Me With Heaven", which was co-written by his wife, Amy Grant.

And because the holidays are fast approaching . . .

--"A Very She & Him Christmas", She & Him . . . a.k.a. Zooey Deschanel and M. Ward. (--If you missed it, Zooey performed the National Anthem at the World Series last night . . . and it was beautifully done. Here's video.)

--"Christmas", Michael Buble

--"The Singing Mailman Delivers", John Prine . . . This is a double CD consisting of some of his earliest folk recordings, plus one unreleased song.The 10 Worst Songs of the '70s . . . According to "Rolling Stone" Readers:

"Rolling Stone" recently polled their readers to come up with a list of The Worst Songs of the '70s. They released the results yesterday. Here's the list:

A "new" ROLLING STONES song called "No Spare Parts" has hit the Internet. --It was recorded in the late '70s . . . when they were putting together their "Some Girls" album, which came out in 1978. --"No Spare Parts" didn't make the cut for that album . . . and although it's been on some bootlegs . . . it hasn't been officially released. Until now. The song is included on a "Some Girls" re-issue, which hits stores on November 21st. --"Rolling Stone" reports that this version may have been, quote, "punched up" with new vocals and fresh guitar tracks. (--You can find "No Spare Parts" on YouTube. NOTE: A DJ cuts in at the end, at the 4:19 mark.)

John Mayer Is Recovering from Vocal Chord Surgery:

JOHN MAYER is currently recovering from surgery on his vocal chords. --Last month, John revealed that he had a "granuloma" . . . or an inflamed mass of tissue in his throat, near his vocal chords. --In a new blog post, he says he's, quote, "on complete vocal rest for a month or more." (--For more, you can read John's blog at JHNMYR.tumblr.com.)

One of the Guys Who Wrote "Na Na Hey Hey (Kiss Him Goodbye)" Has Died . . . What Can We Say?

I wish there was something we could chant at a moment like this: --PAUL LEKA . . . one of the men who wrote the song "Na Na Hey Hey (Kiss Him Goodbye)" died of lung cancer earlier this month. He was 68 years old. --Here's some fun trivia about the song: The chorus . . . you know, "Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye" . . . was actually added to the song to make it too long for DJs to play. --That's because Leka and his partner were recording it as a B-side . . . and they wanted to make sure jocks played the A-side. --But the record company dug it and released it as its own single. It hit #1 in 1969. --In 1977, the organist for the Chicago White Sox started using it to get the crowd to taunt opposing teams . . . and from there, it became a mainstay at sporting events all over the country. --In addition to writing that song, Leka also wrote the hit "Green Tambourine" for the LEMON PIPERS, produced four HARRY CHAPIN albums and signed REO SPEEDWAGON to their first recording contract.Did Poison Steal Their Hits from a Band Called Kid Rocker?

Two guys from an obscure '80s band called KID ROCKER have sued POISON . . . claiming that Poison STOLE elements of Kid Rocker songs for their hits. (--You might know Kid Rocker if you went to Hollywood club shows in the early '80s.) --They say guitarist C.C. DEVILLE auditioned for Kid Rocker before joining Poison. And during this time, he allegedly had access to "completed and formatted songs, and was lent master-recorded studio tapes." --It's unclear what these guys are asking for in damages, but it's a lot. Essentially, they want Poison, Capitol Records and EMI Music to pay them a share of the money they've made over the past 25 years. --When asked why it took 25 years to file this lawsuit, a lawyer representing Kid Rocker said, quote, "[It's] a good question." And that's it. He didn't elaborate. (???) (--Why stop there? Why don't they also sue KID ROCK for stealing their name?)

Nicki Minaj Isn't Attracted to Wealth . . . Just Men with Full Lips:

NICKI MINAJ has all kinds of male suitors flaunting cash and jewelry in her face . . . but she says she isn't attracted to that --She says, quote, "I may be smiling in their face, but my antenna is up . . . when they're trying to show off their cash or their watch, it's an immediate turn-off. --"You can't run game on [me]. I'm always 10 steps ahead of you." -So what IS Nicki into? She explains, quote, "I do like a dope nose profile . . . one that's straight on the side. And I like full lips. I've never kissed someone who didn't have full lips."

The Soul Train Awards Will Include a Face-Off Between Chris Brown and Rihanna:

The nominees for this year's Soul Train Awards have been announced, and CHRIS BROWN had the most with five nominations. --He's up for Best Male R&B Artist . . . Song of the Year . . . Album of the Year . . . Record of the Year . . . and Best Dance Performance. RIHANNA is also nominated in that category, so that should be a knock-down, drag-out battle. --The Soul Train Awards tape on Thursday, November 17th, and BET will air the ceremony on Sunday, November 27th. (--There's a complete list of nominees at SingersRoom.com.)

MONDAY'S SHOWBIZ EXTRAS

Showbiz Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:

As an obvious knock on Republican presidential candidate RICK PERRY, SARAH SILVERMAN is planning a multi-comic fundraising event in Texas called "Live from [N-word]-head: Stripping the Paint Off of Good Ol' Fashioned Racism". All proceeds will go to the NAACP. (Full Story)

Former "Hannah Montana" actor MITCHEL MUSSO was officially charged with two counts of drunk driving, stemming from his arrest last week. He faces a maximum of six months in jail and a $1,000 fine. (Full Story)

The legendary SLY STONE . . . who was recently discovered LIVING IN HIS VAN . . . has entered rehab for crack addiction. (Full Story)

Former "American Idol" contestant CRYSTAL BOWERSOX has been dropped by her label. (--Just like LEE DEWYZE, the guy she was runner-up to on Season Nine.) (Full Story)

STEVE JOBS

16 Revelations From the New Steve Jobs Biography:

The new biography on STEVE JOBS comes out today, but some of the revelations in the book have been leaking out before the release. Here are the 16 best ones.

#1.) If he hadn't started Apple, he would've become a poet. Apparently, if Apple hadn't worked out, Jobs was planning to move to PARIS to become a POET.

#2.) He gave up on religion at age 13. When Jobs was 13, he saw pictures in "Life" magazine of starving children in Africa. He asked his Sunday school teacher why God wasn't helping them. She couldn't answer, so he stopped going to church.

#3.) He tried pot and LSD. Jobs tried both drugs in high school and said that they were, quote, "a profound experience, one of the most important things in my life."

#4.) Who had the biggest presence on his iPod? Apparently Jobs had FIFTEEN albums by BOB DYLAN on his iPod . . . and three from the cellist YO-YO MA.

--And while Jobs wasn't religious, he said that Yo-Yo Ma's music was the BEST CASE that God actually exists.

#5.) He only had one book on his iPad. It's called "Autobiography of a Yogi" and it's about a guy's spiritual quest for a guru. He read it every year since he was a teenager.

#6.) He believed his most irreplaceable employee was his head designer. One of the biggest reasons for Apple's success is the design of its products. So Jobs valued his head designer, JONATHAN IVE, more than any other employee.

#7.) He met his biological father before either of them knew they were related. Jobs was adopted, and used to go to a restaurant that his biological father managed in the '60s . . . but he didn't realize the manager was his father.

--He found out later in life that the manager was his father, but he didn't try to forge a relationship with him because he, quote, "didn't trust him."

#8.) BILL CLINTON asked for his advice during the MONICA LEWINSKY scandal. Clinton and Jobs were friends, and Clinton asked for advice when the scandal broke.

--Jobs told him, quote, "I don't know if you did it, but if so, you've got to tell the country." There was silence on the other end. Clearly, Clinton didn't listen.

#9.) He believed that Google's Android phone operating system was stolen. Jobs believed that Google's former CEO, ERIC SCHMIDT, stole the idea for the Android phone from Apple's iPhone operating system.

--He even told his biographer, quote, "I will spend my last dying breath if I need to, and I will spend every penny of Apple's $40 BILLION in the bank, to right this wrong. I'm willing to go thermonuclear war on this."

#10.) He finally met with BILL GATES last year. Jobs had always wanted to have a sit-down with Gates, and they finally did last year. Jobs wasn't impressed.

--Quote, "Bill is basically unimaginative and has never invented anything, which is why I think he's more comfortable now in philanthropy than technology. He'd be a broader guy if he'd dropped acid once or gone off to an ashram."

#11.) He hated how people mocked the iPad. Remember when Apple first unveiled the iPad, and everyone made tampon jokes about the name? That made Jobs DEPRESSED. Of course, then the thing sold like crazy.

#12.) He told PRESIDENT OBAMA he would only last one term. Jobs and Obama met in 2010, and Jobs continued his trend of giving it STRAIGHT and BRUTAL to presidents.

--He told Obama that he was looking at a one-term presidency, because the country's education system is corrupt and the country's laws are not friendly to business. But . . . he did offer to help with Obama's 2012 campaign.

#13.) He believed he'd "finally cracked" the secret to making a great television. So expect one of Apple's next "game changer" products to be a revolutionary TV.

--He felt like it would be way too hard to police other companies making apps. His board finally convinced him to change his mind . . . he did . . . and now apps have completely changed the way we use our phones.

#15.) He regretted not immediately having surgery after his cancer diagnosis. In 2004, when Jobs was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, he tried holistic remedies instead of getting surgery. He ended up regretting that.

--He told his biographer, quote, "I didn't want my body to be opened. I didn't want to be violated in that way."

#16.) He only had one request for his biography. Jobs promised he wouldn't micromanage any aspect of his biography, except one thing: a great COVER. And it turned out pretty well. It looks kind of like an Apple product.

--The front is a headshot of Jobs on a white background, with the text in black and grey. He's holding his chin, wearing a black mock turtleneck and round glasses, and sporting a trimmed beard. It's Jobs as you remember him.

--The back cover photo is a much younger Jobs with longer hair, sitting Indian style, and resting his arms and head on one of the first Apple computers. And he's still rocking the light-colored Dad jeans and what looks like a black turtleneck. (--Here's a picture of that cover, his new "Rolling Stone" cover, photos from the "Rolling Stone" article, and a bunch of other pictures.)

--"60 Minutes" did a special on Jobs last night too, and his biographer said Jobs was 50/50 on the existence of God . . . but found himself believing more after he got cancer. On the one hand, Jobs was hoping that maybe there was some kind of afterlife.

--On the other hand, he wondered whether death was like an on-off switch: Click, and you're gone. And THAT'S why he didn't like putting on-off switches on Apple devices.

Here are Four of Steve Jobs' Dirty Secrets From "Rolling Stone":

STEVE JOBS is on the cover of the current issue of "Rolling Stone". And if you don't have time to check out the whole article, here are four dirty secrets they reveal . . .

#1.) He once called his girlfriend a skank in "Time". When he was 23, Jobs fathered a child with his girlfriend, Chris-Ann Brennan. He denied the child was his and told "Time" that Chris-Ann got around. --Quote, "28% of the male population of the United States could be the father."

#2.) His adoptive parents somewhat regretted adopting him. Jobs' adoptive mother, Clara Jobs, said that when Jobs was two he was SO out of control that, quote, "I felt we had made a mistake, and I wanted to return him." --Her answer was to drop him down in front of the TV . . . which basically HYPNOTIZED him and calmed him down.

#3.) He made money as a teenager by selling a box that let people illegally make free long-distance phone calls. Jobs and STEVE WOZNIAK, the guy he'd later start Apple with, made boxes that let people make free long-distance calls. --They sold them around the campus of the University of California, Berkeley, to make money. They also prank-called the Vatican.

#4.) He talked ROSS PEROT into investing in a company . . . but it wasn't Apple. When Jobs left Apple in the '90s and started his other computer company, NeXT, he got Perot . . . fresh off his presidential run . . . to give him $20 MILLION. --In their defense, when Jobs went back to Apple, Apple bought out NeXT . . . so Perot DID probably get a nice return on his investment. (Rolling Stone)

RANDOM STUFF

Here are the Origins of Trick-or-Treating, Jack-o-Lanterns, and Haunted Houses:

#1.) Trick-or-treating. It comes from an old tradition where poor children in England and Ireland would go door-to-door praying for the dead on All Saints' Day. --After World War Two, children in the U.S. started doing the door-to-door walk, and people started giving them candy . . . which led to trick-or-treating.

#2.) Jack-o-lanterns. This comes from an Irish legend about a farmer named Jack who would play tricks on the devil AND God. That got him banned from heaven and hell, so he roamed the world as a flame inside carved vegetables. --Jack-o-lanterns became part of Irish superstition too. People would carve turnips and put them outside their houses to scare away evil spirits. Americans used pumpkins instead because there were more of them and they were easier to carve.

#3.) Haunted houses. These don't come from any tradition . . . except the tradition of people finding a way to MAKE MONEY off holidays. --In the 1950s, Junior Chamber International clubs realized they could make money off haunted houses that played off the Halloween spirit, so they did . . . and everyone else followed their lead. (Time)

The Top 12 Halloween Costumes, Based on Google Searches:

I like this strategy for figuring out which Halloween costumes are going to be EVERYWHERE this year. Instead of asking retailers or using the other popular prediction method . . . randomly guessing . . . this seems much more accurate. --Google analyzed their data to figure out which costume ideas have received the most searches so far. So these are the 12 Halloween costume ideas that have been investigated the most . . . meaning you can expect to see them everywhere.

#1.) Angry Birds

#2.) "Black Swan"

#3.) Playboy bunny

#4.) NICKI MINAJ

#5.) Smurfette

#6.) "Wilfred" . . . which is that show on FX about a guy who sees his neighbor's dog as a man in a dog suit. The dog suit is the big costume.

#7.) "Monster High"

#8.) "TRON"

#9.) "Captain America"

#10.) "Pan Am"

#11.) CHARLIE SHEEN

#12.) Rapunzel

(Time)Stupid Photos of the Day . . . Dogs in Costumes From New York's Halloween Dog Parade:

Want to see dogs who are clearly miserable but look absolutely hilarious? That's the unwritten mission statement of New York's Tompkins Square Park Halloween Dog Parade. --On Saturday, around 500 people brought their dogs to the park, decked out in full costume. There were dogs dressed as pincushions, dinosaurs, busses, LADY GAGA . . . and even a bulldog dressed as a runaway bride. (Daily Mail) (--Check out photos from the parade here.)

15% of Adults Say They've Seen a Ghost:

Here's one of those "Hey, it's almost Halloween, let's do a survey" surveys. According to a bed and breakfast website, 15% of people say they've definitely seen a ghost in their lifetime. --The survey also found that 44% say they've visited someplace that was actually haunted . . . 37% would like to visit a real haunted house . . . and 27.5% would want to spend the night in a haunted house. (BedAndBreakfast.com)

One Symptom of Rabies in Women is an Unrelenting Sex Drive:

Guys, if your wife or girlfriend is suddenly in the mood for sex all the time, count your blessings . . . and then consider the fact that she may have rabies. --According to doctors, the most common symptom of rabies is a fear of water . . . because the virus paralyzes your muscles for swallowing. But the disease HAS been known to create hypersexuality in women. --A 28-year-old woman in India recently complained to her doctor about a sudden increase in her sex drive that wouldn't go away. --She was always aroused, often without having anything to stimulate her. And four days later, she was DEAD. --It turned out that she'd been bitten by a puppy two months earlier, which infected her with rabies. --On the other hand, if someone you know is showing that particular symptom, you might just want to reap the benefits. Because unfortunately by the time that particular symptom shows up, the disease has no cure. (MSN)

33% of Women Like Going Out With Their Female Friends More Than Their Husbands:

It's not your imagination . . . your wife DOES get dressed up nicer and seem a little happier when she's going out with her friends instead of YOU. --A new survey found that 33% of married women say they actually PREFER going out with their female friends than their husbands. --They also say they get dressed up a little more, spend longer on their hair and make-up, and spend more money when they're out with friends. --60% of women surveyed said they prefer shopping with their friends than their husbands because their friends give better advice. (TruthDive)

Women Are More Likely to Be Hurt in a Car Crash . . . Because Crash Test Dummies Look Like Men?

A new study found that women are more likely than men to be injured in a car crash. --The study will be published in the December issue of the "American Journal of Public Health". They found that women drivers wearing seatbelts were 47% more likely to be injured than male drivers wearing seatbelts. --Women suffered more of what the report called, quote, "lower extreme injuries," which included damage to the spine. They also suffered more chest and neck injuries. --And one of the main reasons that women are more vulnerable is that they are shorter than men and sit lower in the driver's seat . . . which man-sized dummies don't account for in crash tests. --For example, head restraints don't take into account the position of a woman's head during a crash. Or the fact that her neck isn't as strong as the average guy's. --Crash tests actually DO use dummies of all sizes, including a 170-pound, 5'9" dad, a 5'0" 100-pound mom, three children, and a 6'2" "big brother". BUT . . . the dad is in the driver's seat in all tests. (US News and World Report)

The Most-Stolen Food in the World Is . . . Cheese:

A worldwide study found that the most-stolen food on earth is . . . cheese. --A study by the U.K.'s Center for Retail Research looked at data from a quarter of a million stores in 43 countries. They found that one out of every 25 packages of cheese gets stolen. --Believe it or not, cheese is targeted because it has a large and well-organized black market. So they think that most of the stolen cheese is resold, either to other stores or to restaurants. --The study's director said that cheese presents a, quote, "lucrative business opportunity for small-time criminals." --And the theft rings use both in-store shoplifters and employees to keep the black market stocked in stolen cheese. --The other foods that are at a high risk of being stolen are fresh meat, chocolate, alcohol, seafood, and infant formula. --America's National Retail Federation doesn't track the most-stolen items, but they were surprised to learn that cheese topped the list. --Joseph LaRocca of the NRF said, quote, "If I had to make a personal guess, it would be chewing gum." (Huffington Post)

MEATBALL CRIMINALS

A Man Was Arrested for Picking His Mother Up and Carrying Her Out of Church . . . When She Tried to Break Up His Wedding:

You know how in the movies, the priest at a wedding always asks "Does anyone object to these two being married?" I've never seen it happen at a wedding in real life. But it actually NEEDED to happen here. --Last week, 35-year-old Justin Lew Harris of Gardnerville, Nevada was getting married to his 30-year-old fiancée. And Justin's 55-year-old mother did NOT approve of the wedding. The fiancée and mother's names weren't released. --So . . . Justin and his fiancée were at the church, getting married, when suddenly his mom walked in to STOP THE WEDDING. Justin says she burst in the door, quote, "yelling and screaming." -As soon as Justin saw her, he ran over, grabbed her, and CARRIED HER OUT of the church. --This is the point where their stories differ. Justin says he just carried her to her car because, quote, "I would never hurt my mom." His mother says he DRAGGED her out and she was hurt in the process . . . but she refused medical treatment. --The mother didn't say why she wanted to break up the wedding so badly. --Justin was arrested and charged with domestic battery and coercion. --The local media didn't report whether the wedding was completed after the fight or not . . . so it's not clear whether the mom DID succeed in keeping the wedding from happening. (Record-Courier)

A Man Impersonates a Federal Agent Fighting Terrorism . . . to Get Out of Repaying a Loan to His Girlfriend:

Look, at some point EVERY guy has thought about lying to a woman and saying he's really a SECRET AGENT. It's a universal male fantasy AND a great excuse to get out of anything. But very few guys actually go through with it. --41-year-old Mark B. Chartrand of St. Louis, Missouri actually did. --In 2003, Mark was coaching a youth soccer team and met a woman whose name wasn't released. They started dating, and over the course of their five-year relationship, he borrowed more than $138,000 from her. --When they broke up in 2008, she was in serious financial trouble . . . which tends to happen when you give someone a $138,000 loan. So she begged Mark to repay her. --And that's when he went all-in. He told her he was a, quote, "clandestine counter-terrorism operative" and was about to go overseas on a secret mission for the Department of Defense. --He told her that he would be receiving $1 MILLION in 2010 for his mission. --Of course, it was all MADE UP. He wasn't a secret agent, just a regular guy. His girlfriend eventually figured that out and reported him to the cops. Mark was arrested back in June for impersonating a federal officer. --He pleaded guilty last week . . . and when he's sentenced in January, he could get SIX to TWELVE YEARS in prison. And he'll also have to repay all the money. (St. Louis Post-Dispatch)

A Streaker Who Interrupted a College Football Game Last Week Could Get 18 Months in Jail:

Streaking through sporting events is a fine, longstanding tradition. So I'm HORRIFIED at this story . . . because it really could end the practice of streaking. --On Thursday night, the University of Arizona was hosting UCLA in football. During the game, a 22-year-old Arizona undergrad student named Jace Lankow dressed up as a ref and ran onto the field. --He was able to get all the way to the ball because he looked just like a ref. After he grabbed it, he ran off and started undressing down to a Speedo. --And while security chased him, Arizona and UCLA players started BRAWLING with each other. Two of them were ejected, and TEN of them ended up getting suspended. --As for Jace, he was arrested for FELONY CRIMINAL IMPERSONATION . . . so his streaking offense is more serious than usual . . . and he could get up to EIGHTEEN MONTHS in jail. (CBS 2 - Los Angeles) (--You can see a news video of the streaking here and here's a video from a camera in the stands.)

RANDOM NEWS EXTRAS

Random News Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:

Check out the dirtiest college football rivalries, based on the number of personal fouls per game. Auburn versus Georgia is the worst, with 5.4 personal fouls per game, although Georgia gets 59% of them. They were followed by Duke versus UNC, and UCLA versus USC. (Full Story)

You wouldn't believe it if you just watch the news, but according to statistics in three new books, the world is actually becoming MORE peaceful than ever before. War deaths, family violence, racism, rape, and murder are all down. (Full Story)

According to a new study, men who are over-exposed to internet porn are LESS likely to become excited by actual sexual encounters, and less likely to be able to perform with a real woman. (Full Story)

Want to know how old the oldest guy to father a child last year in Alabama was? Now you can. The Alabama Center for Health Statistics puts out a one-page report on life and death in Alabama every year, using Census data. Most popular baby names, leading causes of death, oldest bride and groom, you name it. (Full Story)

An Australian woman born without a uterus wants to bear a child. So she's getting a uterus transplant . . . from her mom. (Full Story)

Not-So-Stupid News: A 67-year-old hunting with his 12-year-old grandson in Oregon accidentally shot and killed a U.S. Marine on leave, after mistaking him for a black bear. (Full Story)

NAZZY’S VIDEOS OF THE DAY

#1.) 'Zombie Boy' is Completely Covered by Skeleton Tattoos . . . But Here He is in Flesh-Colored Make-Up:

The make-up brand Dermablend has a weird new ad out for Halloween. It features a guy named Ricky Genest who's better known as ZOMBIE BOY . . . because his entire upper body is covered in tattoos that make him look like a skeleton. --He became semi-famous after he appeared in Lady Gaga's "Born This Way" video. But in the ad, they cover him up with make-up to show what he'd look like WITHOUT tattoos. --It starts with him looking like a normal guy . . . aside from a few piercings. Then he starts rubbing the make-up off and reveals his skeleton face. But the best part is when they show the make-up artists applying layers of make-up, and they play it in reverse. (--Search for "Dermablend Go Beyond the Cover." He starts wiping it off at :53 and reveals his face at 1:33. Then theySee him with no make-up at 2:22.)

#2.) A News Anchor Who Hates Kim Kardashian Refused to Say Her Name on TV:

Friday was KIM KARDASHIAN'S 31st birthday. And a news anchor in Dallas named Tim Ryan doesn't think she deserves to be famous . . . so he refused to say her name on the air. --It was during a segment on the show "Good Day Dallas" where the anchors try to guess how old the celebrity is. --But Tim refused, saying quote, "I'm on strike. She is not a celebrity." He went on to refer to her as, quote, "she whose name will not be mentioned." (--Search for "News Anchor Refuses to Utter Kim Kardashian's Name".)

#3.) Two Cops in D.C. Pulled a Man Out of His Wheelchair and Tackled Him:

Some people in Washington D.C. are outraged over a video that shows two cops pulling a man out of his WHEELCHAIR, and slamming him on the ground. --The man was drinking in public, and supposedly assaulted one of the officers. But the video doesn't show any of that. And both charges were dropped after the video popped up on YouTube in June. --Anyway, it's in the news again because the Department of Justice decided the cops probably used bad judgment . . . but STILL didn't charge them with anything. --Check out the video on YouTube and see what you think. First they pick him up and tackle him. Then while someone's yelling at the cops, you can see a pool of blood on the ground. (--Search for "Wheelchair Man Is Easy Prey for Police." At :56, someone starts yelling at the cops. And at 1:01, it shows the guy bleeding on the sidewalk. WARNING: This video includes the F-word and S-word.)

#4.) Check out Bill Gates Bobbing His Head in a "Night at the Roxbury" Spoof from the '90s:

Now that Steve Jobs is gone, there's only one super-nerd left to make fun of: BILL GATES. --And if you've never seen it, there's a video he made with Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer for a tech conferences in the '90s, where they spoof the "Night at the Roxbury" skit from "Saturday Night Live". (--Search for "Bill Gates Night at the Roxbury.")

The Top Five 'Creepy' Careers:

Halloween's a week away, so the job search website CareerCast.com posted a list with a corny name: It's the top 'creepy-crawly careers' . . . meaning jobs that actually deal with insects and nastiness. Here are the top five.

#1.) Road Kill Removal Specialist. Apparently "guy with a shovel" isn't descriptive enough, so that's the official title. And to pick up dead animals off the highway, you can get paid about $30,000 a year.

#2.) Pest Control Specialist. It used to just be an "exterminator," but "pest control specialist" sounds better. They kill bugs and other pests at homes and apartment buildings, and make just over $30,000 a year.

#3.) Forensic Entomologist. You've probably seen actors play them on shows like "CSI", but it's a real job too. They use their knowledge of insects to help during criminal investigations. --For example, when the cops find a dead body, a forensic entomologist helps figure out the time of death, and whether the body was moved . . . by looking at the bugs that have been LIVING IN THE REMAINS. On average, they make about $48,000.A#4.) Arachnologist. If you're willing to work with SPIDERS every day, the average arachnologist makes over $61,000 a year.

#5.) Reptologist. They're biologists who specialize in the study of reptiles. Usually that means working at a zoo, but they also work at museums. And the average reptologist makes about $62,000 a year. (CareerCast.com)