A Thank You Letter to my Narcissist

A Thank You Letter to my Narcissist

Dear Mr. N,

When I met you, I thought you were strong and capable, self-sufficient and positive. Everything I didn't think I was. I thought I was tentative, vulnerable and insecure. Turns out that it was the other way around all along. I am strong and capable and self-sufficient and positive. You are negative, vulnerable and insecure.

Thank you for making this clear to me. While you were busy trying to tear me down to increase your own strength, I was quietly building my understanding of myself and growing strong enough to move away from you and closer to myself.

Thank you for showing me what love isn't.
_ love isn't lies and tricks and manipulations in order to get what you want.
_ love isn't expecting your partner to put themselves on a shelf in order to please you.
_ love isn't giving a gift with the end result of expecting full control of the person to whom you gave it.
_ love isn't denying your partner social and professional opportunities because you're afraid of being left behind.
_ love isn't distrusting and spying.
_ love isn't talking without listening
_ love isn't criticism without self-reflection.
_ love isn't communicating without compromise.
_ love isn't self-invovement and ego.
_ love isn't demands, drama and ultimatums.
_ love doesn't demean, devalue, or break the other person down.

Thank you for showing me these things that I needed to learn about myself.
_ I am strong and self-sufficient.
_ It is not my job to change myself in order to please another person.
_ I am capable of asking for what I need.
_ I am open and flexible and adaptable to a fault and I need to learn to set boundaries
_ I do not need a vessel to hold me together, I am strong enough to contain myself.
_ I am lovable and am deserving of a relationship that reflects that
_ I can learn to love and accept myself in the same way that I do those around me.
_ I can not expect someone to do for me what I don't do for myself.

It is okay to throw away a broken umbrella. Goodbye Mr. N. I am off to seek a bigger life.