"That caramel was award-winning.""Ha.""No, the package said "award-winning" ... that's why I bought it. And it is."

"If there is a problem at the mini Twix factory, and the Twix wrappers don’t cut off all of the way on the ends, does that mean you have to eat all of the ones that are connected? I do…which is why I just ate 6 mini Twix. Please get on board with me on this."

"I'm not a Nascar fan.""But you went to the all-star race.""Yes, you can take your cooler in, I'm a fan of that."

"That Joey McIntyre can be my baby’s daddy all day. There’s just something about that thick Boston accent."