Paranoia-Rama

Conservative pundits are downright furious about the Federal Communications Commission’s decision to preserve net neutrality, ensuring that internet service providers treat all data equally. But their anger seems driven more by reflexive hostility to any proposal that President Obama supports rather than an understanding of the principle behind net neutrality.

Surviving Obama’s America isn’t easy. Not only do you have to watch for immigrant militias hunting straight men, but you can’t even go online without facing attacks from Big Government or demonic covens.

A group of GOP politicians, including two likely presidential candidates, have decided to appear in a documentary with anti-gay radicals accusing the equality movement of trying to ban religion. Such politicians already kowtow to extreme voices like Rush Limbaugh and the anti-government ideologues at Fox News, so it makes sense that they are now joining together to make absurd claims about the supposed dangers of gay rights in America.

While gay rights advocates plot to destroy the Constitution and President Obama surreptitiously pushes the country into civil war, only conservative reporter Chuck C. Johnson can stop them. And he will do so by paying anyone with pertinent information to come forward with details about the president’s secret gay affair.

RWW’s Paranoia-Ramatakes a look at five of the week’s most absurd conspiracy theories from the Right.

According to the right-wing media, Sharia law is gaining a foothold in Michigan, President Obama is blocking the sale of miracle drugs and Satan is commanding the gay rights movement. But Sarah Palin has uncovered the most menacing threat to America of them all: criticism of Sarah Palin.

According to Media Matters, one email to Erickson’s list claimed that the federal government is suppressing a miracle cancer cure that healed Ronald Reagan. Another warned that President Obama and the FDA could kill “over 45 million Americans…including you” because they are refusing to release a “secret” cure to cancer, heart disease and Alzheimer’s.

But 45 million deaths is low compared to the potential toll of another “Obama scandal” that a RedState sponsored email warned could “wipe out 281 million Americans.”

4) Fox News Helping … Hillary?

At least according to Sarah Palin. Upset that Fox News host Bill O’Reilly mocked the prospect of Palin and fellow reality television star Donald Trump running for president as a “reality show,” Palin charged that O’Reilly is trying to undermine the conservative movement just as it prepares to take on Hillary Clinton.

Palin fumed that “quasi-right” media outlets like Fox News should wake up to the fact that “this is a war” against Clinton and should help the GOP unify and “surface the competitor who can take on Hillary or whomever it may be and win for this country.”

Perkins recently spoke with Frank Gaffney, a fellow anti-Muslimconspiracytheorist, about the supposed rise of Sharia law in the U.S., and unsurprisingly, Gaffney joined in on the frenzy and referred to the city as “Dearbornistan.” He said the “Muslim-only” city of Dearborn has become a “ghetto” that is “too dangerous” to enter.

This might be news to the city’s residents, including one Army veteran who was able to find no shortage of stores selling haram goods like ham and liquor, along with a gentleman’s club, despite the claims of right-wing activists that the city is now imposing Sharia law.

2) Marriage Equality Turns Kids Into Government Property

A group of Catholic and Protestant leaders signed a statement this week warning that the legalization of same-sex marriage will lead “to the coercion and persecution of those who refuse to acknowledge the state’s redefinition of marriage, which is beyond the state’s competence.”

Signatories, including National Organization for Marriage founder Maggie Gallagher and prominent Proposition 8 supporter Rick Warren, warned that marriage equality for same-sex couples represents an even “graver threat” to society than divorce “because what is now given the name of marriage in law is a parody of marriage.”

By legalizing same-sex marriage, the statement reads, “a kind of alchemy is performed, not merely on the institution, but on human nature itself,” since same-sex marriage apparently “disregards the created order, threatens the common good and distorts the Gospel.” The statement even claims that marriage equality will turn children “in important legal respects, the property of the state.”

1) Gay Demonic Energy

American Family Radio host Bryan Fischer thinks that Satan makes people gay, so of course Fischer believes that Satan is also in command of the gay rights movement.

“I don’t think you will ever find a more directly demonic energy than when you deal with the homosexual agenda,” Fischer said this week. “They’re vicious. They are mean. You literally are staring into virtually the unvarnished energy of Satan himself when you come up against the forces that are pushing the homosexual agenda forward.”

Upset with the coverage of his comments, Fischer said that he feels bad for gay people, since they are “captives, prisoners of war” of Satan.

After spending a week denouncing non-existent “no-go zones,” it was no surprise that conservatives steered their anti-Islam anger into attacks on President Obama, especially after his State of the Union address.

Sharia law is taking over the western world, or at least it is in the fevered imaginations of right-wing commentators, who this week made wild accusations about the Obama administration and others aiding extremist groups. Naturally, they also found time to criticize gay rights too.

RWW’s Paranoia-Rama takes a look at five of the week’s most absurd conspiracy theories from the Right.

The Religious Right rang in 2015 with dark predictions about America’s imminent collapse and God’s judgment under President Obama’s second term. So if you want to survive the remainder of the Obama presidency, you’d better sign up for Mike Huckabee’s email list.

5) Stop Making Larry Tomczak Watch Gay People On TV!

Larry Tomczak knows that the gay community is bent on “targeting innocent and impressionable children,” and he knows just what to do to stop it: kick them off television. The Religious Right pundit is greatly disturbed that “home and remodeling reality shows regularly feature lesbians and gays in partnerships exploring homes” while “Ellen DeGeneres celebrates her lesbianism and ‘marriage’ in between appearances of guests like Taylor Swift to attract young girls.” Even “’Scandal’ has two gays,” Tomczak laments.

“The indoctrination and propaganda coming from those advocating a gay lifestyle in our country, classrooms and culture are increasing,” he writes, urging conservatives to act as “a bulwark against this tidal wave of unprecedented evil.”

He recommends that people turn off the TV and instead start watching “wholesome DVD series and streaming selected programs” such as “The Fugitive, Gunsmoke, Little House on the Prairie, I Love Lucy” and “Leave It to Beaver.”

4) Equating Gays With Charlie Hebdo Assailants

An Atlanta fire chief recently lost his post after distributing to colleagues copies of self-published book containing condemnations of homosexuality, which city officials thought was a violation of employment practices. Of course, he has since turned into a Religious Right martyr.

Erick Erickson, the Fox News contributor and RedState editor, used the controversy to compare gay people to the terrorists behind the massacre at the French satirical newspaper Charlie Hebdo. Another Fox News pundit, Todd Starnes, said that Christians are losing “equal rights” in the U.S. and experiencing a “cultural cleansing.” Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council even suggested that the actions taken by Atlanta’s mayor will spur the violent persecution of Christians in countries such as Iran and North Korea.

Mike Huckabee may have temporarily left Fox News to begin exploring a second run for the presidency, but he hasn’t stopped selling his email list to quacks and conspiracy theorists. Huckabee recently sent his fans a sponsored “special message from [the] Health Sciences Institute,” which describes a secret cancer cure found in the New Testament uncovered “by biblical researchers in Maryland.”

That’s right, “a mysterious healing message within ancient scripture” that has even “been verified by one of America’s top doctors.”

The email promoting a “cancer cure on the 859th page of an ancient Bible” that makes “‘untreatable’ late stage cancer disappear” with “zero painful side effects” is just the latest health-related email to be sent from Huckabee’s account; others have endorsed bunk treatments of Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s. Another sponsored email sent out with Huckabee’s blessing give readers advice on how to be “darn sure your family won’t go hungry or get herded into a FEMA camp.”

2) Jim Bakker Has It All Figured Out

In his New Year’s message, televangelist Jim Bakker didn’t hold back about what God told him was in store for America in 2015. According to Bakker, God appeared to him while he was taking a bath, and gave him a morbid vision of the country’s future. Bakker revealed that it will be impossible for the U.S. military to ever win a war as a result of abortion rights, secular government and “taking God out of schools.”

The U.S. economy is absolutely set to crash if not slide into its last hurrah. Jobs, new businesses and corporate profits will show declines. Obama's economic policy, started in 2008, will bear fruit in his lame duck years from which there will be little to no recovery. Racial distractions the promised new warfare with the newly elected republican congress and senate will fuel distraction, but provide little economic relief. The predictions are dire.

Even as markets and corporate earnings begin to show decline radicalism, rebellion and general lawlessness will take Obama's cue and begin its debut both at home and around the world. From Bush's drive to increase police and law enforcement to the recent cry of protestors in NYC to produce "dead cops" only someone living on a remote desert isle could not see the spirit of lawlessness beginning to flower.

Under the Obama administration we have gone from the petted slogan "don't let a good crisis go to waste' up the ladder to "why not just create our own crisis to keep the nation off balance."

We can analyze Obama's policies till the cows come home to see what they mean. A shorter route would be to examine what they are not.

For example, race riots and race baiting are not the protests of the sixties. Opening our borders to anyone at any time is not "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses." Bailouts and battles with coal and other energy companies are not free enterprise, but it is welfare for corporations. ObamaCare is not assurance against bad health it is a disease in its own right that promises to leave the nation in death and disarray if not thrown out or seriously modified.

…

Abortion, the eradication of DOMA and the gay agenda may seem like something debated and finally settled, but they will only settle the future of the nation and nothing less. Already conservatives are debating what will make their list of top priorities for the newly elected house and senate. The Keystone pipeline, immigration and the securitization of the borders are at the top, but so far no one has mentioned abortion or the restoration of DOMA. We may think Obama's policies are in place and unalterable, but God does not see it that way. If these mis-guided policies are left to stand we will continue to decline and suffer a full judgment as a nation.

Politicians, news organizations and pundits cannot decide the morality of our nation, only our citizenry can make that decision. In the old school of thought such changes were called repentance, revival, renewal and the end of backsliding. Can America wise up in time? That also is entirely up to us. We will soon see that if we don't return to some old school thinking that class will soon be let out and the school will close completely.

2014 was a great year for conspiracy theorists running for office, but these extreme politicians couldn’t do it without the help of a conservative media bent on pushing outlandish conspiracy theories from the fringe into the mainstream. Here, gleaned from our weekly Paranoia-Rama, are the conspiracy theories that shaped the year.

Immigration Insanity

While the temporary increase in unaccompanied child migrants coming to the southern border this summer has since subsided, the children fleeing violence in Central America provoked a year’s worth of fear mongering and conspiracy theories from conservative commentators and politicians.

Gordon Klingenschmitt, a televangelist who was recently elected to the Colorado state legislature, said a Senate bill sponsored by Sen. Al Franken would “require pedophilia in all public schools” and “require pro-gay child recruiting.” He even hosted a whole show about how parents should avoid interactions with “a gay” lest he “recruit” their kids. Conservatives also railed against Common Core and other education efforts by warning that they would turnkidsgay.

Gay Nazism

Religious Right leaders who hope to criminalize homosexuality and strip LGBT people of marriage rights and antidiscrimination protections are pretty sure that conservatives are the real victims of oppression. And they not afraid to use absurd historical analogies to prove their point.

Family Research Council President Tony Perkins charged that gay rights supporters are getting ready to “start rolling out the boxcars to start hauling off Christians” to concentration camps, Rick Santorum feared “reeducation camps” for gay rights opponents and pastor Scott Lively claimed gay people are using against conservatives “the same ‘blood libel’ used against the Jews by the Nazis.”

Others drew comparisons to slavery and Jim Crow, with Bryan Fischer of the American Family Association alleging that gay people have become “our new slave masters” who will “send us to the hole if we refuse the massa’s demands” and “Trunews” host Rick Wiles warning that Americans “will be saves” to the newly powerful “homosexuals and sodomites.” Wiles even said that gay people in America may soon realize Adolf Hitler’s dream of creating a “race of super gay male soldiers” who are determined to “slaughter” Christians.

As everybody knows, America is turning into a chaotic terrorist haven filled with race riots that is also somehow a Nazi police state, or at least that is what we learned this week from some of our favorite right-wing activists and politicians.

In this special edition of Paranoia-Rama, we look at five of the most incendiary and unhinged responses from our friends on the Radical Right to President Obama’s announcement that he would grant temporary deportation relief to some unauthorized immigrants and his speech last night laying out his plan.

RWW’s Paranoia-Rama takes a look at five of the week’s most absurd conspiracy theories from the Right.

While there may not be much time left for us here in America before a combination of death panels and Sharia law overtake the nation, we still will rise up to defend the constitutional rights of the Twitter spambots that Obama seeks to crush!

5) Breitbart Uncovers The Truth The Liberal Media Is Hiding

The right-wing outlet Breitbart News went on a mission this week to uncover the dirt on attorney general nominee Loretta Lynch that the biased left-wing mainstream media has been hiding. Breitbart’s Warner Todd Huston discovered that Lynch had served as “a member of Bill Clinton’s defense team during the 1992 Whitewater corruption probe.”

Breitbart Senior Editor-at-Large Joel Pollak commented that Huston’s story “ought to provide additional fodder for Republicans during Lynch's confirmation hearings,” saying that the nomination was a reward “for her political loyalty.”

Five years ago, many conservative politicians falsely claimed that the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act repealed the right to freedom of speech. This year, many in the GOP stoked similarly bogus fears to attack a constitutional amendment that would overturn the Supreme Court’s Citizens United ruling.

Now, one Republican congressman is accusing the administration of advocating for the “suppression of online political speech” by awarding a National Science Foundation grant to the website Truthy, a project of researchers affiliated with Indiana University which studies “how popular sentiment, user influence, attention, social network structure, and other factors affect the manner in which information is disseminated.”

Let Wonkette break it down: “Truthy developed algorithms to detect spambots, they worked, and Twitter nuked the accounts for violation of their terms of service. It’s nice to know that Rep. Smith is so concerned about the precious free speech rights of spambots.”

3) Marriage Conspiracy In The Courts

The Coalition for the Protection of Marriage suggested this week that there is a conspiracy afoot to place is to place the same two Democratic-nominated judges on Ninth Circuit Court panels hearing cases involving marriage equality, thus rigging the panels in favor of gay rights advocates. The California group unveiled a new website insisting that there is a “disturbing” and “strong appearance that the Ninth Circuit did not follow its neutral, impartial assignment process in assigning” marriage cases.

The anti-gay group, however, seemed to ignore, as one political science professor told the New York Times, that “the accused judges voted against the lesbian and gay litigants in a full third of the cases deemed suspicious by the other side.”

In addition, the Times reports, judges are assigned at random to panels “long before particular cases are assigned to panels,” and many marriage cases were put on a “fast track” which were “assigned to the available panel with the most senior presiding judge,” who in this case happened to be a Carter appointee.

But the Coalition for the Protection of Marriage isn’t alone in pressing its flimsy conspiracy theory. Mark Joseph Stern points out that “Ed Whelan—a former clerk for Justice Antonin Scalia—penned a strange post at the National Review in October in which he ‘wonder[ed] whether nefarious hijinks in the Ninth Circuit clerk’s office in San Francisco’ accounted for the judge selection in the gay marriage case.”

2) RIP Dorothy Zborknak

Meet the first victim of the Obamacare Death Panels: Dorothy Zborknak.

While the news of the fictional character’s Obamacare-manded death has apparently sparkedanger on fringe outlets, more popular conservative sites like Breitbart are still intent on publishing ridiculous articles like, “The Death Panels Are Coming.”

While speaking with Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council this week, Saleem also brought us the stunning news that Sweden is now under the thumb of Islamists, and that the same Islamist rise to power “is happening here in the United States.”

Saleem told Perkins that Islamic control of America will be complete by 2020.

RWW’s Paranoia-Rama takes a look at five of the week’s most absurd conspiracy theories from the Right.

The GOP’s strong performance in this week’s elections hasn’t curbed far-right fears about the Obama presidency, and in fact, some fear that the president may now pursue extremely deadly policies. When not worrying about the government, conservatives are also suspicious about what gay people are doing to their coffee.

5) Obama Worse Than Stalin, Mao And Pol Pot

Rick Wiles has regularly warned that President Obama “will bring unspeakable violence and bloodshed to the soil of America” and even “destroy the country,” fearing that “every time there has been a dictator that has taken over a country, within a short period of time millions of people die and they are always Christians.”

This week, the “Trunews” host spoke to fellow End Times broadcaster Steve Quayle, who told Wiles that Obama will “supersede” violent dictators like Mao Zedong, Joseph Stalin and Pol Pot.

4) Obama ‘Will Punish The Nation’ For Voting Republican

Right-wing talk show host Laurie Roth is urging Republicans in Congress to see the 2014 election as a mandate to “defend against everything Obama has cursed and touched” and begin “undoing massive damage at the hands of Obama.”

Writing in BarbWire today, Roth cautioned that Obama will take his anger over the GOP victories out on American citizens.

“Now there is not enough medication for the leftist media and Democrat-Zombie survivors. Well…they can deal with it. We have had to deal with them for the last 6 years from hell,” she said. “It is time to celebrate, then be aware and plan for the next Zombie moves from Obama and the left. Obama is mad now, more than ever and he will punish the nation severely through his executive orders, starting with the amnesty middle finger.”

Fortunately, Roth said, God is on the GOP’s side: “Bring it God…America needs and wants you again. We are coming back. Put your sunglasses on world because America will soon be very bright again.”

Beck posits that Soros knew Obama’s “radical things” would “cause all kinds of strife,” enabling Clinton to “come in as the moderate” when Obama’s time in office is over. Then, as Beck’s theory goes, Clinton can implement the final steps of their radical left-wing agenda: “You will be the one that was remembered for picking up all of the pieces and having the final transformation, you will be the mother of the country where Washington was the father of the country and this guy [Obama] will be remembered as the mother-blank of the country.”

2) The Great Voter Fraud Bust

Fearing that Democrats would rig the election with widespread voter fraud, the Tea Party-aligned group True the Vote recently unveiled a smart phone app that “will finally pull the curtain back on the myth that there is no voter fraud.”

One True the Vote gumshoe reported that an “African American woman working there was standing behind me watching me vote.” And because of horrific events like this, True the Vote and other conservative groups have successfully convinced GOP-controlled legislatures around the country to pass laws cracking down on voting rights.

1) Sodomite Semen In Your Starbucks!

We knew anti-gay activists were nofansofStarbucks, but Harlem pastor James David Manning took their concerns to a whole new level in recent commentary on “The Manning Report.”

He managed to link a recent small protest outside of his church, where two people handed out Starbucks coffee, to “homosexual sodomite” Dr. Craig Spencer, the New York man who contracted Ebola in Guinea (and who has a girlfriend).

“Starbucks is a place where these types frequent and a lot of body fluids are exchanged there and Ebola,” Manning said, warning that Starbucks has been “taking specimens of male semen and they were putting it in the blends of their lattes.” He added: “My suspicion is that they’re getting their semen from sodomites. Somebody has discovered that semen like cord blood has millions of little zygotes in it and flavors up the coffee, and makes you thinks you’re having a good time.”

RWW’s Paranoia-Rama takes a look at five of the week’s most absurd conspiracy theories from the Right.

The conservative persecution drumbeat has been in full-force this week, with new predictions about Nazism coming to America and looming gay oppression. But maybe we will all be spared such atrocities if President Obama manages to give us all Ebola first.

5) Nazism Around The Corner

After making a “documentary” likening the state of freedom in the U.S. to Germany right before the Nazi takeover, Rick Santorum is at least now owning up to his film’s claims.

While speaking with the Christian Post this week, the former Republican presidential candidate offered Nazi Germany as an example of how a country loses religious freedom, warning that “if we continue down this path” then Nazi-style violent persecution will come to America.

4) Gay Rights Supporters Will ‘Throw You In Jail’

Dave Daubenmire wants to know why conservatives haven’t spoken out against “lesbianism and the frontal assault on Christianity the homosexuals have been engaged in for the last three decades,” adding that now “the barn door can no longer be closed. The homosexuals own the barn.”

Pointing to the case in Houston where a group of pastors faced subpoenas (which have since been withdrawn) as part of a lawsuit against the city for invalidating petitions challenging a nondiscrimination ordinance, Daubenmire lamented that “our nation is about to be overrun by the enemies of God.”

“They are coming for your churches,” he writes. “They are going to make you marry homosexuals. They are going to throw you in jail and seize your church if you don't. The devil and his kids do not play fair...they play dirty.”

3) ‘Sodomite’ Slavery

“Trunews” host Rick Wiles knows for a fact that “we’ve been taken over by homosexuals and sodomites, and lesbians and transvestites, and a bunch of communists and socialists and atheists and God-haters,” and as a result, Wiles fears, “this country is about to be judged.”

And the End Times broadcaster has even more bad news: those who survive the divine punishment of America “will be slaves” of the gay government: “That is the future that is facing America if this country does not repent and the time is ticking away.”

2) Maybe Obama Wants Us To Contract Ebola

Wiles’ fringe views, it turns out, are apparently acceptable among certain GOP members of Congress.

Rep. Steve Stockman, a Republican from Texas, stopped by “Trunews” recently to warn that Obama may sabotage the American response to the Ebola outbreak in order to allow the government to use the ensuing crisis “to advance their philosophy and their agenda” and “take control of the economy and individuals and so forth.”

This week, Rep. Paul Broun voiced similar concerns in an interview with Wiles.

Broun, not finished yet, speculated that the Obama administration’s following the advice of infectious disease experts in his handling of the Ebola crisis may stem from a “malicious intent” to harm Americans since “there is no logic whatsoever about why they are acting the way they are.”

1) ‘Rape Culture’ A Liberal Lie ‘To Get Votes’

Conservative radio talk show host Dennis Prager knows the truth about rape on college campus, and at a Republican rally this week Florida Gov. Rick Scott gave him the platform to share his discovery.

According to Prager, in remarks captured by Media Matters, feminists and their liberal allies have destroyed American culture with promiscuity, immorality and gender polarization. Liberals, Prager explained, even concocted the “lie [of] the culture of rape on your campuses” in order “to get votes.”

We look forward to Prager’s appearance in the next GOP rebranding memo.

RWW’s Paranoia-Rama takes a look at five of the week’s most absurd conspiracy theories from the Right.

With the election less than two weeks away, conservative commentators are making some pretty terrifying predictions about how President Obama will serve out the remainder of his term. But last-minute Obama-bashing won’t distract them from their other, equally important, job: attacking gays and lesbians.

5. Ernst Goes There

Since securing the GOP nomination for her state’s open U.S. Senate seat, Iowa state Sen. Joni Ernst has been trying to downplay her extremist record.

In the latest example of Ernst’s record catching up to her, a video surfaced this week of the candidate telling an audience at a 2012 NRA event that the reason she takes her gun “virtually everywhere” is because she is afraid of not only violent assailants but also the government: “I believe in the right to defend myself and my family — whether it’s from an intruder, or whether it’s from the government, should they decide that my rights are no longer important.”

Ed Kilgore explains the thinking behind Ernst’s claim: “The idea here is to intimidate liberals, and ‘looters’ and secular socialists, and those people, that there are limits to what the good virtuous folk of the country will put up with in the way of interference with their property rights and their religious convictions and their sense of how the world ought to work. If push comes to shove, they’re heavily armed, and bullets outweigh ballots.”

4. Obama Will Kill Us All!

If you wonder where Joni Ernst gets her ideas about an imminent government crackdown that may require a violent response, look no further than Fox News, where just this week Sean Hannity hosted conservative pundit Mark Levin to discuss President Obama’s nefarious agenda.

“The country has gone to Hell under this president and under the Democrat [sic] Party,” Levin said, warning that after the election, “with Obama it’s going to get worse, you’re going to see his full Mussolini coming out.”

Wayne Allyn Root, another conservative commentator, managed to top Levin’s remarks in an interview on the “Point of View” radio show, where he claimed that Obama “was sent here to destroy this country,” possibly by the “communist forces” of the Soviet Union or the Bilderbergs, and is “taking down the entire America.” Root added: “We’ve got to remove him from office and fast before he kills all of us.”

Take a recent incident in Arizona, where a GOP official and conservative media outlets fumed that an activist with a progressive group dropped off a box of absentee ballots at a polling center, which is completely legal. Immediately, conservatives accused the activist — a Latino man — of committing voter fraud through “ballot stuffing” and wondered if he was a violent “illegal alien.”

Of course, not only is delivering ballots on behalf of voters legal in Arizona, but Wonkette notes that Republicans brought in Mitt Romney to host a ballot drop-off campaign event this very week.

Thursday night, Mitt Romney made an appearance in Mesa, Arizona, to campaign for Republican gubernatorial candidate Doug Ducey. A graphic on a couple of conservative blogs, reproduced up top, urged attendees to “Bring your Early Ballots!” so GOP get-out-the-vote volunteers could collect them and get them to the county elections office.

Just remember, it’s only okay if Republicans do it, otherwise it’s voter fraud.

“Gaydeology,” the dogma that “sexual liberation” is the highest moral value, presses forward aggressively on all fronts. Christians are to be punished by the state if they refuse to knuckle under. But the militant “gays” are only the street muscle for a “progressive” project to beat down church, family, and anything else that competes with the secular, God-denying state for the loyalty of every citizen. This vision for America, and for all the other countries of the Western world, has roots in the 19th century that sprouted into man-eating plants in the 20th, to become a worldwide plague in the 21st.

It is reminiscent of “The Day of the Triffids,” a classic horror movie about plants from outer space that infest the earth and strike blind anyone who gets too close.

Well, we have been blind, haven’t we? Blind to threats to our freedom, blind to the vast incompetence of government, and blind to its insatiable lust for power. Worst of all, we have been both blind and deaf to God our maker and our Father, whose blessings have been the lifeblood of America.

Maybe that should be the rallying cry of the anti-gay movement: Beware the triffids!

1. Gay ‘Terrorists’ Out To Get Us

Pat Robertson, who once warned viewers that they could become the victims of a gay ‘AIDS ring’ attack, lashed out at gay rights advocates on “The 700 Club” this week and accused them of trying to throw their opponents in jail.

Robertson didn’t hold back, warning that gay “terrorists” are launching their own Spanish Inquisition: “These people are terrorists, they’re radicals and they’re extremists. No Christian in his right mind would ever try to enforce somebody against their belief or else suffer jail. They did that during the Inquisition, it was horrible, it was a black mark on our history, but it isn’t being done now.”

Of course, Robertson’s argument relied on a twisted reading of a legal case in Houston, Texas, but that didn’t stop him from attacking the “monstrous” gay rights movement.

RWW’s Paranoia-Rama takes a look at five of the week’s most absurd conspiracy theories from the Right.

While secretly plotting to use foreign forces to impose martial law on America, President Obama is also unleashing Ebola on Americans. Or maybe that’s just God punishing us for letting gay people be free. Either way, it may be too late for America because we all failed to listen to the wise words of Keith Ablow and Steve Stockman.

5) Gays To Blame For Ebola

It was only a matter of time before someone blamed the gays for Ebola, and North Carolina pastor Ron Baity was happy to be that brave person.

Back in 2012, Baity helped spearhead the campaign to pass a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage and civil unions in his state. When that ban was struck down by a federal court this week, Baity connected it with something else he was seeing in the news, predicting that God will punish America with the Ebola virus because of the fall of same-sex marriage bans and laws criminalizing homosexuality.

“We are bringing the judgment of God on this nation,” Baity said in a sermon captured by Jeremy Hooper. “As sure as Sodom and Gomorrah was destroyed, don’t be surprised at the plagues, don’t be surprised at the judgment of God. You think Ebola is bad now? Just wait.”

4) Obama To Blame For Ebola Because He Hates America

Fox News therapist Keith Ablow believes he has the distinct ability to speak from “deep inside the president’s psyche.” And in that psyche, Ablow finds a bitter, racist man who wants to bring Ebola to America.

Eric Hananoki of Media Matters reports that during an appearance on Fox News Radio this week, Ablow reported that that while treating Obama over the TV, he discovered that the president hates America and “has it in for us.” According to Ablow, Obama’s “affinities” are with the people of Africa and he subsequently sees it is a matter of “fairness” that more Americans contract Ebola.

In his make-believe examination of Obama, it turns out Ablow also found a collection of right-wing memes from the 2012 election: “Let me speak as though I’m coming from deep inside the president’s psyche. You miserable people have destroyed so much in the world in terms of good things, and now you're going to build a wall? Really? To insulate yourself from things that are devastating other nations when your gains are ill-gotten? And the very fact that you can build a wall — you’re using wealth that you never should have had to build it. This is just another manifestation of you didn't build that, business. Right? You didn't build the right to make yourself immune from something that is devastating a country with lesser resources.”

Phyllis Schlafly also speculated this week that President Obama wants to bring Ebola to America to make the country more like Africa: “Obama doesn’t want America to believe that we’re exceptional. He wants us to be just like everybody else, and if Africa is suffering from Ebola, we ought to join the group and be suffering from it, too. That’s his attitude.”

“It’s just bizarre there’s not enough action up front and I’m wondering if that’s — I’m not saying this — but I’m wondering if that’s intentional in order to create a greater crisis to use it as a blunt force to say, well in order to solve this crisis we’re going to have to take control of the economy and individuals and so forth,” the actual member of Congress told End Times soothsayer Rick Wiles. “It’s just a strange non-response, a strange way of handling it and I think that if it does go forward and we do not control it, there may be an overreaction where the government starts taking away the rights of those that aren’t that necessarily involved or need that to happen.”

After all, Stockman explained, “this current government uses crisis to advance their philosophy and their agenda” and Obama already gave himself the authority to exercise “emergency powers to take over control of the economy and everything.”

Stockman insisted that he was “not saying this,” just asking the question!

2) Why Hasn’t The Military Staged A Coup?

When a GOP official in a suburb of St. Louis, Missouri, wrote a Facebook post this week asking why the military hasn’t yet staged a coup to overthrow the Obama administration, she made sure to use the “just asking the question” framing we see so frequently from conservative pundits and politicians who are trying to escape any responsibility for their statements.

Debbie Dunnegan Waters, Jefferson County’s recorder of deeds, an elected office, wrote on Facebook: “I have a question for all my friends who have served or are currently serving in our military … having not put on a uniform nor taken any type military oath [sic], there has to be something that I am just not aware of. But I cannot and do not understand why no action is being taken against our domestic enemy. I know he is supposedly the commander in chief, but the constitution gives you the authority. What am I missing?”

See, she wasn’t saying the military should overthrow Obama, just asking why it hadn’t.

“Something innocent and simple got twisted into a disaster because it’s an election,” she explained after her Facebook post attracted national attention. “I meant no ill intent toward the president. I meant no ill intent toward anybody.”

Well, that settles that!

1) Vets Must Prepare For A Coup!

Alex Jones knows why the military hasn’t staged a coup yet, and the answer may surprise you!

The “Infowars” host said on Wednesday that whenever he goes out and about, military service members and police officers keep approaching him to sing his praises and confirm his fears about fluoridated water, FEMA camps and Agenda 21.

While speaking with survivalist James Wesley Rawles on Wednesday, Jones reported that the government has been brainwashing service members with messages that “Christians are bad, gun owners are bad, the founding fathers were bad. It’s like something you’d expect to see in the Red Dawn movie when they show the reeducation camp at the sports stadium with the movie screens going ‘George Washington was a pig, gun owners are bad, capitalism is bad.’”

Fortunately, Jones thinks that as a result of his show getting the truth out there, such moves have turned the military against the government: “The propaganda of the people running things is so horrible it makes you think they’re inept because this is the stuff bad guys would tell the military. I think their attempt to demonize the liberty movement has totally backfired on them and is strategically one of the biggest defeats they’ve had.”

Rawles confirmed that service members “have woken up, they have done their homework, they can see what’s really going on and they are no longer falling for the lies the administration is trying to push,” thus thwarting Obama’s plans to impose martial law: “It’s very encouraging because if they ever tried to institute martial law, they’re not going to be able to do it with American troops, they’ll have to bring in overseas troops to try to institute martial law in this country because the American military is not going to put up with it.”

Even better, Rawles noted that once there is a “situation where there is a war of resistance in America,” then “all those returning veterans are going to form the core cadre of resistance.”

Jones, however, cautioned that the Hitlerian military now treats veterans as “enemy number one.”

RWW’s Paranoia-Rama takes a look at five of the week’s most absurd conspiracy theories from the Right.

Of course Republicans would never resort to using the Ebola outbreak in West Africa or violence committed by terrorist groups like ISIS to score political points against President Obama … they are just merely asking the question if Obama plans to put us into FEMA camps, let terrorists cross the border into the U.S. and infect everyone with Ebola.

5. Get Ready For FEMA Camps

Right-wing commentators seem pretty convinced that President Obama actually wants the Ebola outbreak to come to America, now they just need to ascribe to him motives to substantiate this latest fear.

Morgan Brittany, a conservative author and columnist for WorldNetDaily, offers her own view, arguing that Obama is “orchestrating” the Ebola outbreak “so martial law can be declared, guns can be seized and the populace can be controlled.” After all, Obama has purchased “$1 billion worth of disposable FEMA coffins” and set up “FEMA camps to house people in isolation,” all of which would be a shame to waste.

Eagle Forum founder Phyllis Schlafly believes the president wants to spread Ebola inside the U.S. because he thinks America should be “just like everybody else, and if Africa is suffering from Ebola, we ought to join the group and be suffering from it, too. That’s his attitude.” Kieth Ablow of Fox News agrees, writing in a column yesterday that “the president may literally believe we should suffer along with less fortunate nations,” a claim which he says is based on his expert opinion “as a psychiatrist who has studied this president only from a distance.”

American Family Association spokesman Bryan Fischer, as usual, puts his own twist on things, suggesting this week that Obama wants to infect people with Ebola in order to “punish America for being racist.”

4. Liberals Are Out To Get Sam Brownback…Electorally, That Is

Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback is locked in a tight gubernatorial race this year despite running in one of the most Republican-leaning states in the nation, and while speaking with conservative reporter David Brody of the Christian Broadcasting Network, Brownback said he isn’t to blame for any of the state’s serious economicand budget troubles.

Brownback told Brody that he is the victim of a liberal-media plot to make the state’s economy look like it is in bad shape, insisting that progressives don’t realize that “tax policy takes some time to work.”

“I think they so desperately want what’s happening in this state to fail,” Brownback said. “The left is just so desperate to see — they want this model to fail so bad.”

He even seemed offended that Democrats would dare to field a candidate to run against him and condemn his economic policies: “They want to get me, electorally, before we get on through this and prove that this is working.”

Brody predictably agreed, suggesting that the media is exclusively covering “negative news coming out of the state economically” and is leading “an out-to-get-you campaign because you’re a conservative-type guy.”

3. Supreme Court Blues

Conservative legal activist Mat Staver has been on a media tour lambasting the Supreme Court for letting several lower court marriage equality decisions stand this week, a move that effectively legalized same-sex marriage in several states, including Virginia, where Staver works as dean of the Liberty University School of Law.

Staver even said the Supreme Court’s decision not to act on appeals from states seeking to keep marriage bans in place will lead to the proliferation of several different “kinds of serious and deadly disease.”

2. Drug Cartel Caliphate

Despite the fact that the Department of Homeland Security has said that there is no evidence of ISIS members trying to enter the U.S. through the southern border, GOP members of Congress beg to differ.

Tom Cotton, the Arkansas congressman and U.S. Senate candidate, warned voters that ISIS and other groups are working with Mexico-based drug cartels to launch terrorist attacks in America as they “infiltrate our defenseless border and attack us right here in places like Arkansas.”

RWW’s Paranoia-Rama takes a look at five of the week’s most absurd conspiracy theories from the Right.

Now that a Liberian man who flew to Dallas this week has become the first person to develop Ebola symptoms in the U.S., the right-wing media is doing what it does best: freak out and blame everything on President Obama. Or maybe Ebola is just a distraction from Obama’s plot to seize everyone’s guns while gay people and ISIS attempt to “recruit” American children.

5. Ebolagate

It seems conservative pundits are trying to one-up each other to come up with the most insane ways to connect Obama to the case of a person in Dallas being diagnosed with Ebola after traveling from Liberia.

Laura Ingraham suggested that Obama is threatening the health of Americans due to his “core ties to the African continent,” saying Obama’s “familial connection to Africa” is the reason why flights from West Africa are still entering the U.S., while Michael Savage said Obama “wants to infect the nation with Ebola” by sending U.S. troops to West Africa who will then contract Ebola and spread it when they are back in the U.S.

It was only a matter of time before a Republican congressman embraced the latest conspiracy theory emerging from right-wing talk radio, and of course, this honor once again belongs to Rep. Louie Gohmert, who told Fox Business that Obama wants to “send 3,000 military into where they can get Ebola that they can bring back,” even though, as the Texas Republican astutely noted, “the military’s not trained to go catch Ebola and die.”

4. The Gays Are Coming

There’s only one thing worse than Ebola, and that’s “a gay” who is trying to “recruit” your son, or so explained “doctors” Paul Cameron and Gordon Klingenschmitt this week on Klingenschmitt’s acclaimed show “Pray In Jesus Name.”

3. Obama Taking Your Guns, Again

Naturally, Fox News commentators believe that a bill to expand background checks on firearm purchasers and a proposed treaty to codify practices in the transnational arms trade are actually attempts to ban guns for everybody. In fact, Fox News’ Steve Doocy and Andrew Napolitano believe that, thanks to Obama’s fictional gun-grab, Americans everywhere are in constant risk of getting decapitated.

“The problem is the President of the United States who is doing everything he can, administratively as the chief executive officer of the federal government, and attempting to now get us to enact a treaty to make it very, very difficult to carry guns,” Napolitano fumed following the beheading of a woman in Oklahoma City by a former coworker, adding that Obama wants “to intimidate people out of getting guns because the president believes that he and the government — and all logic defies this — can keep us safer that we can keep our self.”

Doocy then hit Napolitano with a hardball question: “So if Barack Obama could, he would ban guns in the hands of everybody except the police?”

“He has made that patently clear, his problem is the Second Amendment,” Napolitano responded.

Carson, a self-proclaimed historian, said this week that he is “shocked” by the advanced placement course’s emphasis on the “evils” of slavery and massacres of Native Americans, suggesting that the curriculum is a recruiting tool for terrorists: “I mean, I think most people when they finish that course, they’d be ready to go sign up for ISIS. This is what we’re doing to the young people in our nation and we have got to stop this silliness, we have got to stop crucifying ourselves.”

Pundit and prophet Glenn Beck has been predictingAmerica’sdemise for a while now, and the case of a man in Dallas diagnosed with Ebola after traveling from Liberia is proof enough that the U.S. is about to experience a “massive humbling.”

RWW’s Paranoia-Rama takes a look at five of the week’s most absurd conspiracy theories from the Right.

While he isn’t busy persecuting conservative activists, President Obama spends his time helping ISIS fighters avoid airstrikes…that he himself ordered. At least, that’s what we learned this week in the alternate reality of the far-right.

After switching his plea from not guilty to guilty for making illegal campaign donations, a felony, conservative activist Dinesh D’Souza was sentenced to eight months probation in a community confinement center along with psychological therapy. The sentencing prompted yet another media tour for D’Souza, who insisted that his prosecution for breaking the law — which he admitted to doing — amounts to political persecution.

D’Souza boasted in an interview with WorldNetDaily that the government was not “successful in shutting me up,” and the conservative activist told Glenn Beck that the prosecution came at the orders from the “petty” President Obama. Beck even said that D’Souza “is a political prisoner,” despite the fact that D’Souza was not sentenced to any prison time.

Roberts defended his remarks by explaining that Obama wants to turn the U.S. into “a European socialistic state,” adding: “You can’t tell me anything that he has not tried to nationalize.”

And if rhetoric like that doesn’t work, Roberts will shore up his standing with the Tea Party crowd with the help of his latest booster: Sarah Palin.

2. People Who Believe In Climate Change Are Just Like Hitler

Rush Limbaugh knows the real reason people believe that human activities are influencing climate change. No, not because there is a consensus among climate scientists on the matter, but as Limbaugh explains, “it’s all politics.”

“It is a politics that intentionally insults the intelligence of people and preys on the dumb and the stupid and the weak,” Limbaugh said while definitely not projecting. In order to find “meaning in their lives,” Limbaugh explained, people start thinking they have the power to “save the planet” and start to feel “their new life has meaning” and that “they can make a difference.”

And you know who else thought he could make a difference with his life? Hitler.

“Hitler made a difference,” he said. “Stop and think about that.”

1. Obama Is Shielding ISIS While Bombing Them

Conservatives are having a difficult time rationalizing the fact that President Obama has launched hundreds of airstrikes against ISIS and other extremist groups while at the same time insisting that he is a secret Muslim and terrorist sympathizer.

RWW’s Paranoia-Rama takes a look at five of the week’s most absurd conspiracy theories from the Right.

Are schools spending the money that they earn by giving out free condoms to finance lessons on “how to be homosexuals”? And will America survive long enough to find out?

5. The Gays Are Coming To Teach Your Children ‘How To Be Homosexuals’

On a conference call with members of his Conservative Republicans of Texas group last week, Fox News darling Steven Hotze shared his own take on the anti-gay myth that LGBT rights advocates want to legalize pedophilia and “recruit” children.

“There’s another key point of the homosexual agenda, and it’s overturning the laws prohibiting pedophilia,” Hotze asserted, bringing up of course the tiny group NAMBLA. “They want to break down the laws, they want to decriminalize sex between a man and a boy. If you can believe it, that’s how sick and deviant and perverted their minds are, it’s terrible.”

“They’ve got to do that, because they can’t reproduce, they’ve got to recruit,” he continued. “Why do you think they want to get in the Boy Scouts?”

Hotze also exposed the goal of the marriage equality movement: “If they allow same-sex marriage in Texas, folks, they’ll be passing out stuff to your children to teach them how to be homosexuals.”

4. Marriage Equality Will Bring About America’s Collapse

You might have thought Hotze’s predictions are terrifying, but he has nothing on James Dobson, who warned this week that marriage equality will cause “the entire superstructure of culture” in the United States to “ come crashing down.”

“That's happened in Rome, it happened in Greece, it's happened throughout history and I don't think that America can survive in the form we have known ... if we allow the family to disintegrate. And that is, in fact, what's happening,” he said.

3. Obama’s True Nature Revealed

Respected language analyst Rush Limbaugh knows why President Obama said in a speech last year that “I have had my military and our team look at a wide range of options” to respond to a chemical weapons attack in Syria.

The words “my military,” Limbaugh said this week, reveal the president’s “messianic complex.”

“He thinks that the existence of the United States while he is president is nothing more than the story of Barack Obama.”

Limbaugh was echoing the attack of Charles Krauthammer, who picked up on the phrase to accuse Obama of being a Napoleonic “narcissist.”

The real question is whether Napolean-narcissist-messiah Obama’s military is ready to “laser or blitz” Mexico in a war over undocumented immigrants.

Republican House candidate Mark Walker of North Carolina floated the idea of a war against our southern neighbor at a Tea Party event in June.

"I will tell you if you have foreigners who are sneaking in with drug cartels to me that is a national threat," he said. "And if we got to go laser or blitz somebody with a couple of fighter jets for a little while to make our point, I don't have a problem with that either. So yeah, whatever we need to do."

1. The Free Condom Racket

Perhaps the coming U.S.-Mexico war can be financed by the profits that public schools are making off of providing free condoms.

Starnes’ theory : The school was afraid that the student’s promotion of abstinence would cut into the “condom profits” it was earning by making free condoms available to students.

“Here’s my take on it, I thought it was interesting, [the student’s mom] said what’s really interesting is that any child in that junior high school can go to the counselor’s office and ask for and receive free condoms and yet her daughter cannot wear her pro-abstinence t-shirt in the public school,” Starnes said. “Here’s what I think the issue is Tony Perkins, I believe that maybe they were concerned this pro-abstinence t-shirt might cut into this school’s condom profits.”

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RWW’s Paranoia-Rama takes a look at five of the week’s most absurd conspiracy theories from the Right.
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