Gossip magazines and Jennifer Aniston fans (a.k.a. scorned women) have been dying for Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt to break up since the moment they got together. Now that Angelina and Brad are barely ever seen in public together anymore there are rabid speculations that an official breakup announcement is imminent. Us gives details from a new tell-all book:

Brangelina: The Untold Story of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie reports that “they’ve broken up so many times it would make your head spin.” It also claims Jolie “has a temper like a cobra.” The book even alleges that she confessed to hiring a hit man to kill her in 1998 because she was so distraught. Us Weekly reports that the actress, 34, still has her battles with Pitt, 45 – especially when it comes to their six children. “They fight all the time about the kids – where to put toys, saying the wrong thing to a nanny, not cleaning up,” one source tells Us Weekly. “Like cats and dogs.”

There are also reports today that Angelina has filed for yet another adoption, but hers is the only name on the application. Humans aren’t designed to have litters of children, so adding another pup to this pack is not going to make the situation any sexier between Jolie and Pitt. Wait…did that say Angelina Jolie hired a hitman to kill her?? Wow. I knew she was nutty, but this is extra nutty. This is PayDay candy bar. This is Marlon Brando nutty. If Angie doesn’t end up moving all these kids to a private island and start cross breeding them with animals, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle.