Not having kids means there is no one I can steal Halloween candy from.

It also means there is no one to mow my lawn, load the dishwasher, wash the car, and do all the other crap around the house that I don’t feel like doing.

Not having kids means I have to do everything myself.

And that is just so sad.

I don’t know why parents complain about being tired all the time when they have multiple midgets in their possession that they can tell to scrape the crud out of the bottom of the garbage can. It’s the childless couples that should be complaining. The sheer amount of work we have to do is exhausting.

Even though I am deprived of child laborers that collect candy from strangers while I follow in the car at .5 mph, I don’t begrudge you the luxury of having exorbitant amounts of Halloween sweets and treats.

In fact, I am so generous that I have decided to share some really great links for ideas on ways to use up those candy confections.

Even though I have been busy cleaning the bathroom and sorting socks all by myself.