I am a firm believer that you are never too old to learn. I am not a traditionalist. I question everything, including myself. I am not a perfect man, nor do I expect perfection from the people I know. However, I do expect people to be real. I love to laugh and to make people laugh. I have come to realize that the truth hurts, but in truth comes freedom. We all know it hurts to be free.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Soul Mates?

I know this was a little long, but I love Chris Rock!

Let me start off by saying that I cannot believe it is June. It is not that I feel this year is going fast, because I don't think it is. I guess I am looking at it as being 11 days closer to 35.

Anyway, I have spent this past weekend thinking about many things. I mentioned in my last post about how I had met up with and old friend who had already been in my shoes, the one of the things she said was that "Everything is Temporary". I found this to be a profound remark. It made me think how true this was in my life. Is everything temporary?

I think that people tend to come and go in my life. I also believe that everyone serves a purpose that I may not always understand. I chose to focus on those who may have most impact in my life and they are the ones I talk to the most. While I do not think friendship is temporary, I think that connections can be. I may not see a good friend of mine for years. Our connection could be broken but our friendship is not.

Which brings me to relationships and love. Is love forever? Can you truly love someone forever? I don't know. I think you can try. But, often times love goes both ways. Sure one person can love another for a long time, but what happens when that love is not returned? I would assume that is when things become temporary.

I ask all this because I am thinking about theory on Soul Mates. I am not sure they exist. I think about everything I have gone through in my life. The women that I have been in love with and the failures that have come from it. It makes me think about what the purpose of all this is? Are we supposed to go through life searching for the perfect someone? Or do we end up with who we end up with and hope for the best?

I do not quote myself often, but I blogged on Valentines Day. I wrote about love being the perfect emotion and while I would love for you to read it (because I think it is incredibly relevant right now), I have pulled out a small excerpt:

True love is like the pot at the end of rainbow for many of us. But is true love the embodiment of a soul mate? Maybe it is love of a parent and child, or perhaps the love that two very good friends share. I wont say that I know the answer. But, I do know that are people in this world who are very happy with their current situations. Those situations could be alone with plenty of love of friends, or love of children. I am not downplaying the loving relationship between 2 people, but I believe that Valentine's Day has a way of effecting people who are not in a relationship or are in a relationship that has not filled its potential.

I think that many of us are fooled into believing that love is this thing we see on TV. That love is a perfect emotion that endures anything. So, people have expectations of others that may not be attainable. Not to say that love can't survive anything, I for one believe it can, but we know that humans are imperfect. So if love is the perfect emotion, and we are not perfect, then that is going to lead to issues for many people. If anyone has ever been in love then you will know that is the one emotion that will make you do dumb things.

That sums it up for me, we are not perfect. Yet, we expect the perfect things from people and even from ourselves. Unfortunately, this is where we get in trouble. I was told that I let my emotions control me. While that might be the case, I feel that my capacity to care and love can be great. I know many men who would rather show no emotion. In those cases, women often try to "fix" it by getting them to express their feelings of love. In any case, I do let me emotions rule over me because I think that matters of the heart should no be contained by logic.

I also completely understand that the very fact that I may not really believe in Soul Mates could render me single for quite awhile. However, I do think there is only a finite number of times you can find love. Let's face it, people suck. The older you get the more baggage you attain...and even if you do not have any baggage, the next person you try to date will most certainly will.

For now, I will stick with the Chris Rock definition of Soul Mates until someone can prove to me otherwise.

1 comment:

Interesting topic LN. I waiver back and forth about soulmates, but I think that people have applied a romantic notion to the term that might not actually be fair. Your soulmate could be someone that you're not romantically involved with (or at least I've thought that in the past), but just someone who you're connected to in a very spiritual way. Keep your head up, I'm sure your nerves are raw and it will take a little time before you're ready to love (hard) again.

I have personally always questioned the theory that there is 1 person for everyone. (some folks call this soulmates). Personally I believe that there are lots of people for each person, but we have to decide to be with the person that is the best fit for the stage of life that we're in...that's just my two cents. Your blogs are always thought provoking to me. I'm also glad to see that you're in touch with your emotions - that's a great quality for men and I don't think there are nearly enough men who are strong enough to admit they HAVE emotions.

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Who Am I?

I was once on a journey to self redemption and now I am on that path to
reclaiming my life. I believe that there is a lesson behind every
challenge life brings me.
I am also a champion for Afro-Latinos. It has become my duty to point
out the injustices of prejudice whenever I can.

Latinos are a conglomeration of all races. There are people who have
issues comprehending that concept when it comes to social identity. They
want to point to a solid color or specific ancestry to proclaim a sense
of self worth because it is hard to swallow that we are a people born
from a history of rape and enslavement.