Supposedly Sully is having internet problems, but I am of the firm belief that he's just fallen off his chair and is trapped under his desk with the modem cord wrapped firmly around a foot! I'm sure it was an accident and other than that I'm saying nothing!!

Well, there's lots to be proud of here - from the roasting of Master Fenrir to all your favourite divisions. The result is an issue too big to bring to you in one posting!, So we've split it into two parts! Furthermore, for the first time ever, the interrogation itself exceeded the maximum size allowed for enclosure in spoiler tags, so the interrogation itself has been split into three parts!

Apologies for missing last issue! Allow me to make it up to you with an extra dose

qwert wrote:what its going on with these program?why its map rank topic locked?

chipv, the former "Head Tech", quit and decided he didn't want to work on his scripts anymore, so he locked the topics and that was the last of him. Dako and the Tech Team created a contest calling for optimization of the Map Rank script and compatibility with the Random Achievement, Training Achievement, and Clan Achievement medals, which has been recently won by ThrushAAX! You can find the link to the script download here.

qwert wrote:when will be some new sugestion implementation(dont count conquer cup,because its not some extra great sugestion),please give me some answer with dates?

Haha, well, I don't think either lack or I would be able to give you strict dates, but I will say lack won't be working alone for too much longer...

redhedge47 wrote:Do you know the muffin man?

The muffin man? The muffin man? Who lives on Drury Lane? No, I can't say that I do.

MrBenn wrote:Why are CC members who have been found guilty of cheating allowed to become moderators?

Good question! There have been and are a few TeamCC members that were multis. Dig deep enough, and you may find dirt on just about anyone, I bet. My take on it is everyone screws up. I do, you do, TeamCC does, and I daresay the administrators do, too. It seems more than foolish to turn down a changed man because of his past. I think anyone can join TeamCC. Whether that be now or in another year or so, I can't tell you necessarily. Certainly your history can cause one pause, but if you prove yourself to be a positive, productive member of the community for a long enough period, I truly think anyone could be a member of TeamCC. It's once you're a TeamCC member that counts. Cheating, flaming, etc. is magnified when you're a moderator and can really hurt your standing in TeamCC and the community and could get you kicked off the team. It's happened before!

My philosophy can be boiled down to this: The past can hurt you, but forgiveness is attainable for those who prove themselves to be worth it.

I hope you enjoyed this edition of Ask A Mod! I can always use some more questions in the Ask A Mod! thread, so stop on by to ask anything you like, from questions about Conquer Club to TeamCC to maps to tournaments to clans to suggestions to C&A cases...to whatever!

Q: I suffer from embarrassing problems with my body hair. I am so hirsute that I have to comb my back twice a day. My girlfriend says that it is interfering with our love life. She says that trying to find my genitals is like hunting for a lost croquet ball in a shrubbery. Obviously I have tried using depilatory creams and shaving at least once per day, but even the most industrial of clippers quickly go blunt on me. Please help me as I am running of ideas to control this unwanted problem and would love to show the world how truly pretty I am. Yours in desperation, (submitted by: samantha) A: Please see sentence number two in my official biography. Your attention to detail is appreciated.

Q: How do you feel about GLG being conqueror? He is blatantly farming people with next to no map experience, myself included. What should be done about it??????(submitted by: crazymilkshake5)A: In the little town of Cataño, where I grew up, we had a farm. I spent many hours in the fields picking cassavas which we would ferment to make mojitos that our family would live off during the long winter months. When I reached that age at which young men have a full chest of hair and a yearning to see the world I left the family farm. I think I was about 7 or 8 years old at the time. Soon I found work with the boys section of the JC Penney spring circular, modeling Osh Kosh overalls and tube socks. It was hard work and often unglamorous. But I learned a lot and here I am today, with my own boxerbrief spread in the new A&F catalog. I hope this story has inspired you to dream the impossible dream, fight the impossible fight, beat the unbeatable foe and reach the unreachable star!

If you do not know already, there has been a case brought up against the current Conqueror, Gen.LeeGettinhed, who is being accused of Multis. There has been some possible evidence that Gen.LeeGettinhed and bearcat7734 are either the same person or their accounts are being shared. Here is some of the evidence posted by IR1SH ACE:

Comments:bearcat7734 & Gen.LeeGettinhead are father and son and it seems like they are doing one of two things...1)they are sharing the same account which is against the rules..2)bearcat took over the Gen.Lee account at some stage from his Dad and would make the Gen.Lee account a Multi seen as bearcat joined the site 10 days before Gen.Lee, which is against the rules...

However, some people think that the Moderators favor Gen.LeeGettinhed. Those rumors may be true, but in this case, it is not seen or shown. In Gen.LeeGettinhed's retaliation, the Moderators actually clear the case.

Master Bush wrote:I knew ES or one of the other dirty mods here was gonna lock that thread down. Just leave it the f*ck open, while people discuss it. It seems like they over enforce shit at this site, EXCEPT when it comes to GLG.

Master Bush wrote:I knew ES or one of the other dirty mods here was gonna lock that thread down. Just leave it the f*ck open, while people discuss it. It seems like they over enforce shit at this site, EXCEPT when it comes to GLG.

Dirty? I just took a shower and I smell purty. What post did you make that was on topic? If they had been discussing the accusation it would still be open. That's my two cents worth. You can keep the change.

Master Bush wrote:I knew ES or one of the other dirty mods here was gonna lock that thread down. Just leave it the f*ck open, while people discuss it. It seems like they over enforce shit at this site, EXCEPT when it comes to GLG.

Dirty? I just took a shower and I smell purty. What post did you make that was on topic? If they had been discussing the accusation it would still be open. That's my two cents worth. You can keep the change.

my post was in reply to someone asking why he would have went this long without either getting caught as a multi/account sharing, or why it was never looked into. So it was on point. Nobody was flaming, trolling or baiting in that thread, and there was no reason to lock it.

Conclusion: Despite what people think about Gen.LeeGettinhed, only the Moderators have a say-so in what happens to him.

Want to get into the Mafia scene, but don't know how to play or even what it is? Consult these threads: Mafia Information, Mafia and You, and Rules and Terms of Mafia.Too much work? Too lazy to read through everything? No worries, you can always jump right into a game and ask for other players or the game runner to help guide you.

What is "Mafia"?Mafia, for those of you that don't know, is a game that generally takes place in a town, where the townspeople have to determine who the mafia (or "scum") is and lynch them via a majority vote during the day and the mafia try to kill everyone at night and bluff their way out of getting killed by the town.

Q. Hey, MF, how much longer before I (chapcrap) come off your foe list? Just get that Random Gold already!!Fenrir: Tell me about it. I think the counter is broken, because I should have it by now. Once I get it, I plan on sending out a PM to everybody letting to know that you're removed from the foe list as well as including several good deals from Groupon.

Q. What the hell, dude? Really?Fenrir: Apparently, I'm kind of a big deal.

Q. Why have your Hard Balls been absent from the newsletter?Fenrir: A couple of months ago I fell into a general CC malaise. It got to the point where everything that I read and every game that I played led to an irrational amount of irritation, so I decided it was best to pull back on everything before I lost my frosty. You know what it's like? You ever have a relationship that lasts for like 3 years and then for some reason you realize that you'd rather run blind-folded and naked through a razor blade factory than spend another moment with that person? I hit that point with CC.

Q. If a Twilight marathon was running on TV, and you had no DVR or recording device, which movie would you choose to miss in order to take your CC turns, and why?Fenrir: The one with all of the angst.

Q. If you could gift premium to one member of KORT, who would it be, and why?Fenrir: Just one? I'd buy it for...Bruce. But only if he understood that it was a symbol of my undying love and affection for him.

Q. Do you have a weakness to silver bullets? Or just attractive women?Fenrir: I tend to steer clear of bullets made of anything more firm than Nerf foam.

Q. Can you recommend a good Sake for n00bs?Fenrir: Imported sake can get a bit expensive. There's this one domestic sake that's pretty good...dude, I actually saved the bottle last weekend so that I had the name to answer this question and now the bottle has disappeared.

Q. Who is the worst player you've ever played with?Fenrir: Probably dazerazer, if she's taking her own turns.

Q. Does this game rank in your top 5 ever played on CC... Game 5452149? How about this one....Game 5380965?Fenrir: Nope, but they're both close. That Feudal game was crazy. That was some of the most genius shit I've ever seen and we still lost.

Q. What are your 5 favorite games played?Fenrir: In no particular order:Game 5756476 This game looked doomed, but an extremely high-risk move got us the win.Game 5106581 Insane escalating wipe that for a while was the CC record for most regions taken in a single move.Game 9326897 First team to beat Josko on that or with those settings.Game 7221307 That's what a game should be. An epic battle where one tiny mistake means a loss. Pity we made the tiny mistake, but that was a fantastic game.Game 6971977 An epic battle with some heated words in chat. I miss General Mojo. He was always a great opponent.

Q. , for fun just go read the team chat in this one again dude...Game 5382195...my how things have changed since then.Fenrir: They haven't changed that much. I'm still a noob at Feudal.

Q. Any major regrets in life?Fenrir: One. A few years back I spent a summer in France. I started out in Nice (bring sandals, rocks on the beach are brutal) and on the second day there I met my first love. I was in a store called Galleries Lafayette and I went up to an employee and asked him "Ou est-ce qu'il y a une toilette, s'il vous plait?" (Where is there a bathroom, please?) He looked at me and asked, in English "You American?" I nodded my head. He continued "It's up the stairs to the right." My French is pretty good, so the fact that he did that pissed me off and I must have made some kind of face. She was nearby and caught the entire exchange and went into hysterics laughing. She was gorgeous, so I started talking to her, and it went from there. I did eventually find the bathroom.

We spent every day together after that for the entire summer and it was pretty incredible. You could probably make a shitty movie out of it. I'm not really a sentimental guy and I don't really keep many keepsakes from my past, but my oldest possession is this little wooden hand-carved and hand-painted turtle that she bought me from some little shop in Marseille because she thought it was cute. Every now and then I come across it when I'm cleaning out my "stuff" drawer and I consider tossing it, but for some reason I can never bring myself to do it.

Anyways, the summer eventually ended and I was headed back to college and her "life plan" was that she was going to eventually inherit and take over her father's cafe. I didn't really see her leaving that and killing her father and I had my own plans, so I tried to be a realist about the situation and I just considered it an excellent summer and came back. She asked me if I could stay longer, but I figured that would only make eventually leaving more difficult. If I could do it over, I'd have stayed longer. I doubt it would have all worked out, but so what, you know?

Q. What is your definition of "greener pastures"?Fenrir: A place where teammates don't miss turns and cost me tourney wins. Know what I mean?

Q. What the f*ck is up with the dice in your opinion? Can CC be salvaged?Fenrir: Sigh...you know, the problem with saying anything about the dice is that when dealing with "random" dice, anything you experience can be explained by, "Well, you randomly got those dice." Any outcome is completely feasible.

Additionally, you have the problem of the way your mind works. The brain is set up where it tries to recognize patterns, to the point of where you'll begin to see patterns that aren't even there. It's just your mind's way of trying to make sense of what it's processing so that you don't lose it. So, when you combine the nature of our "random" dice with the flawed way your mind works, what you have is a lot of untrustworthy observation.

With that said, every couple of days I'm seeing stuff happen that my brain has trouble processing.

What I don't get is the dice change from a business owner's standpoint. When it happened, people were pissed. Granted, the majority of CC players probably don't look at the forums and are still unaware that anything was even changed. But of those aware, many were pissed. I know because I was modding at the time and the dice bitch threads were insane.

Some of those people said the dice were such bullshit that they would not renew their premium unless the dice were changed back. While most of them were all talk and have bought premium since, some of them stuck to their guns and didn't renew. That's what I don't understand. Why would you NOT make $25 if you could? Change the dice back, make some angry individuals feel like you care about their feelings, and make some money. But whatever, it's not my money.

What I know is that since the dice change, I have noticed that true "good games" are an extreme rarity. It's usually one team raping the other. Victories are hollow and meaningless, and losses are infuriating. As a clan player, this means that clan war wins are hollow and meaningless and clan war losses are infuriating. I honestly don't see a point to any of it anymore.

Q. Did you know you are referred to as the Dice Pimp behind your back?Fenrir: If somebody calls me that, they must not have teamed with me to see my dice firsthand.

Q. Who is the baldest player you've ever played with?Fenrir: danryan, but I'm glad he went bald. His hair was just holding him back from doing great things.

Q. Would you ever consider farming your way to Conqueror?Fenrir: No. I don't have the patience for that.

Q. IA or FOED? Sake or Whiskey? Asian Bukake or Hentai? Fenrir: Depends on my mood that day, sake, and hentai. I don't know how you guys manage to get aroused without robo-tentacles.

Q. Who's the biggest pain in the ass on CC?Fenrir: Probably Eddie. I picture him at a kitchen table, wearing a helmet, and eating cereal as he types one-handed and laughs while everybody gets riled up.

Q. Do you use Greecian Formula?Fenrir: My hair only gets darker and more lustrous with age.

Q. Are you a BAMF or just a MF?Fenrir: Just an MF. Samuel L. Jackson is the only BAMF, everybody else is just a poseur.

Q. How can you roll 7's? my (Gen.LeeGettinhed) dice only go up to 6Fenrir: It's all in the wrist. You gotta give it a little snap.

Q. "unable to see own troops" is that code for "big belly, haven't seen junk in years"?Fenrir: My junk is "troops?" Plural? Are you insinuating that I have multiple penises? You wouldn't be the first.

Q. I agree that you are very interesting, but demonfork and caymanmew claim to be even MORE interesting. Please elaborate.Fenrir: demonfork is good people. He understands that this is all nonsense, but isn't afraid to put 30 minutes of effort into a post to show you how ridiculous you're being. Dichotomy. There's your word of the day. So yes, he is a highly interesting person. caymanmew is not. You can tell by the fact that I went through the effort of player-linking demonfork's name in case you don't know who he is, but you're willing to take my word for it and go check him out, but I did not perform the same courtesy for caymanmew.

Q. Who does your shirts? some laundromat?Fenrir: This lovely Korean lady at the local laundromat. When she gives me change, she always rounds up. And they have this basket filled with the Dum Dum suckers that she makes sure has a root beer or two when she sees me walking in because she knows it's the flavor I like. There's probably subtext there, but I don't bother reading it.

Q. What's the most women you banged at once? three-some, four-some?Fenrir: Zero. “Banging” is for noobs with no understand or appreciation for what they’re doing. My goal has always been to provide the women that I’ve slept with the single most pleasurable experience that they have had or will ever have. In order to do this, you need to take your time. The first step is scheduling a two hour appointment with me at least a week in advance. This gives me time for step two, which is to take some yoga and Pilate classes to prepare my body. The final step is to procure a dozen doves to be released upon climax. Additionally, this level of effort and exertion on my part requires that I focus my attention and energies. More than one woman would put such a strain on my body that I would risk death.

Q. Do any of your mistresses call you Fenny Wenny?Fenrir: No, none of my mistresses are 6.

Q. Spoiler alert, who'd they motherfucking kill in the first book/season?Fenrir: Sigh...I still can't believe they killed him. You know that the last time we talked I had 12 pages left in Clash of Kings and I still can't bring myself to keep reading because I know it's only going to get worse?

Q. Favorite teammates, poster, map, color cards?Fenrir: I actually don't have any favorite teammates. I like the regular teammates that I play with, but I also have a lot of fun playing with new people who don't suck. Mixing it up is nice.

I'm not sure who my favorite poster would be...maybe Fruitcake, but only when he's being exceptionally condescending. That's when he does his best work.

My favorite map is Vancouver. It has a little bit of flavor with the autodeploy and the rail lines to give you some options, but they're not pointless gimmicks just thrown in for the hell of it. Additionally, there are several viable bonuses, so there is no single bonus zone that you'll have to grind for every game.

It is a map where you and your opponents can consistently have a workable Plan B, so I like it because you can actually see some strategy getting used. Also, I think that's when you see how good a player truly is. When their initial plan fails and they have to scramble to come up with a Plan B on the fly. Being able to do that is what separates the great players from the good players.

Q. Foxy or trap or foxy trap?Fenrir: Foxy trap. I imagine that a combination of the two of you would produce just about the most awesomely sarcastic offspring ever.

Q. Do you prefer syrup, or jelly?Fenrir: Jelly. With the different fruit flavors, it helps to mix it up.

Q. Where do you get your inspiration for your amazing Hard Balls articles? Must say, they're very well writtenFenrir: I get all of my ideas straight from my Awesome-O 5000 and then I just delete out all of the Adam Sandler references.

Q. How many levels of Fenrir are there? How long did it take you to become Master?Fenrir: There are two levels of Fenrir. The first level is RedFenrir. When you say enough intelligent things, somebody will nickname you “Master Fenrir.” If your ego is capable of supporting that moniker and you have enough experience points, you bump up to that level. It took me about a year.

Q. Boxers or briefs?Fenrir: Briefs. Boxers are for fools. When your junk goes down one leg while you turn in the other direction, there is much pain.

Q. Jack of all trades or "Master" of none?Fenrir: I'm fairly certain that those both mean the same thing.

Q. Leather or lace?Fenrir: Leather, always leather.

Q. Why did we (squishyg) stop playing quads? Fenrir: Sorry. I stopped playing with a lot of people because of the aforementioned malaise.

Q. When are you gonna drop magnum on us buddy?Fenrir: It's not ready yet. I'm still deciding between one raised eyebrow or both.

Q. Being the conqueror on CC or being offered $500?Fenrir: I'll take the cash. I have my eye on a $200 pair of Diesel jeans that would make my ass look great.

Q. The godfather or the godfather II?Fenrir: Godfather II. A Bronx Tale and Goodfellas are also good choices.

Q. Hottest Spice Girl?Fenrir: Posh Spice.

Q. Describe your most embarrassing experience. Fenrir: There was one time in college where I was headed to the gym to work out and on my way down the stairs from my dorm room on the 4th floor, I was hit with such a pain in my testicles that my legs buckled and I fell down half a flight.

I limped my way back to my dorm room and felt around and I could swear that it just didn’t feel right. Immediately, my brain jumped to the conclusion that I had testicular cancer. I picked up the phone and dialed my good friend Dave, a 4th year nursing major. Surely his 4 years of college experience made him an expert on testicular cancer, right? Of course.

I explained the situation to him and he said he’d come over. He arrived a few minutes later and I explained everything again as he listened intently. He thought for a few minutes and finally responded, “Honestly, I’d have to check it out myself to give you any kind of opinion. That is, if you’re comfortable with it.” Between my worry that I was going to end up with prosthetic testicles and his overwhelming tone of professionalism, I agreed.

I dropped my pants and he started his inspection. Thirty seconds later we hear keys in the door and in comes my roommate, back from dinner. It was one of those situations where everything had seemed so reasonable up to that point, but as my mind raced to put together proper sentences to explain the situation, I realized that there was nothing that I could say to make him respond, “Oh, ok, cool.”

As it turns out, there was nothing wrong. I must have just scissored myself going down the stairs and then completely lost my mind.

Q. Favourite beer?Fenrir: If I had to drink a beer, I’d pick Guinness. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I think Dos Equis tastes horrible.

Q. Favourite rear?Fenrir: Kate Beckinsale’s.

Q. If you could have a super power what would it be?Fenrir: The amount of time that I’ve spent on my own considering the answer to this question is ridiculous. If immortality would be considered a super power, I’d pick that. If not, mind control would probably be the best super power to have in any given situation. Unless I’m in a bad mood…then fire or telekinesis would be great to just kind of destroy stuff until I felt better. Tough call, dude.

Q. Are you an ass or breast man?Fenrir: Neither. I am a very rare leg man.

Q. Have you ever accidentally crossed swords? How about intentionally?Fenrir: No, but I have had a few close calls trying to pull off a bro hug with leaning in too far.

Q. Have you ever shaved your scrotum? What about your back?Fenrir: No, but I had an hour of insanity in high school where I took a pair of tweezers and plucked the entire thing clean.

Q. Do you have any facial hair?Fenrir: I have some sexy chin hair.

Q. What do you do with your free time besides play Conquer Club?Fenrir: I work out every other day. I read a good amount…National Geographic, some literary journals, Eastern philosophy, mythology, physics, and this one science fiction series called Outlanders that I’ve read since high school that I can’t seem to quit because I’ve grown so attached to the characters. I’ll read almost anything that has no practical application to daily life.

I play some Xbox games as well. I have 4 younger brothers and we’re pretty close. When I moved out of my parents’ house a few years ago, the toughest part of it was not coming home and being able to chill with my brothers. They’re big into Xbox games, so I bought one and I’ll buy whatever game they’re currently playing so that we can play it together over Xbox live and “hang out” with them that way.

Q. Who would you say are the top 10 team players on CC? You can put them in order or not, you’re free to include yourself, and you can give your reasoning if you want.Fenrir: No order and not including myself.

josko.ri - It's his vision that makes him dangerous. He has the ability to see the troops and not be distracted by the board, if you follow me.

danryan - He can bring an A game to any map or settings. Probably the most versatile player I've played with.

ahunda - You would need to play a game with him to understand. We once spent 6 hours discussing one turn.

King_Herpes - A lot of the best team players have mastered the fundamentals to the point of being completely predictable. Herpes, on the other hand, is probably the best I've seen at intentionally misleading somebody with a move and throwing you off of your game. He does not play inside the box.

Chariot of Fire - I don't think that we think the same way at all, but he's a hell of a player. I always to mental stretches when a game against him comes up.

Blitzaholic - Say what you want about him, but I don't think his play has any weaknesses. I've played him a fair amount over the years and I can't think of a single move that I ever thought was stupid.

General Mojo - I had many really good games against him and I can't say that for many people.

Q. Will you be my (Denise) Valentine?Fenrir: I dunno. Maybe. Go check the little boxes on all the other dudes’ desks and make sure they all have at least one before I accept. If not, give your valentine to them and prevent a serial killer.

Q. Why did you leave FOED for IA?Fenrir: I was planning on retiring and Loki asked if I’d lend my services to their war. I figured I’d do one last hoorah with IA before I retired. Then the Clan League hit and of course she roped me into that as well.

Q. What map(s) are you worst at?Fenrir: British Isles and WWII Western Front. I can never seem to do anything on those maps.

Q. Since you are a lover of video games, when you used to play SuperMario Bros. games, did you used to die jumping off a cliff to gain a 1Up mushroom, or would you ignore the 1Up?Fenrir: I’d ignore the 1up. I know I’d get those 100 coins eventually.

Q. Since you are a big lover of Asian women, when your friends tell you "patience", do you still stop and look around frantically, thinking they said, "Asians"??Fenrir: That never happens. All my friends do is text, which is pretty annoying. And not to be that guy, but seriously, can we just go back to calling each other? I don't want to text you for 15 minutes while I'm driving, when I could just talk to you for 2 and I still have the use of both of my hands.

About 7 months ago, my best friend texted me that he proposed to his girlfriend. Isn't that a fairly big deal? Aren't I your best friend? Why are you texting me that information instead of calling me? Sigh...I hate my friends.

Q. Is Duke's mom as hot as he says she is?Fenrir: Which one of his moms are you talking about?

Q. When you get out of the shower, how long do you check yourself out in the mirror for, before dressing? What things run through your mind while you are checking yourself out?Fenrir: I don’t need to wait to get out because my shower walls are all mirrors. What can I say? I think I look good wet.

Q. How many times has your partner Wolfpack attacked you in a game thinking you were an opponent?Fenrir: I’ve lost count. The funny thing is that it has never bothered me. I don’t know what you did to become that guy, but I’ll always let you know whenever I feel like not holding my bonus.

Q. Is the rest of your family as brilliant as you, or are you like Arnold Schwartzenegger (spelling??) in the movie Twins, where you are like a Supreme Being, and everyone else is just the left over "sh*t"?Fenrir: I am the pinnacle of my family’s genetic code. When I was born, my father raised me to the sky like Simba.

Q. When you told me once that you can last 2 minutes in bed, did that mean you went twice? Fenrir: Yeah, but I rounded up.

Q. What is your greatest accomplishment on CC?Fenrir: I wouldn’t consider anything I’ve done on CC to be an accomplishment.

Q. If you could create the ULTIMATE CC clan of 12-15 people, who would those people be? Yes, you are allowed to count yourself 12-15 times if you want.Fenrir: I have actually considered this, but it's all very hush hush.

Q. Do you have any rolling tricks you do to help achieve great dice? Like leaning from one side or the other? Clicking your mouse with your toes instead of your fingers?Fenrir: I teabag the mouse.

Q. If you could create a soundtrack to your life of awesomeness, what 10 songs would be on it and why?Fenrir: This is impossible to answer. Music generally annoys me because I hate getting pandered to with emotional generalities and cliches. You hear interviews with singers and they say stuff like, "I'm just trying to get my message out there." I'll be honest, I don't really care about your message and I care even less for the way you insult my intelligence while you try to get your message across. That's why I listen to techno. You can completely ignore the lyrics and just listen to the beat. Here's 5 songs that I can tolerate, though.

Shinkirou by LOVEHOLIC This song isn't even in English, but I love her voice and it's a good song to listen to if you're feeling a bit melancholy.

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYU-8IFcDPw&ob=av2e]Faint by Linkin Park[/url] This a great song to listen to while you work out or if you're going 30 over the speed limit.

Q. Do you confuse your R's and L's?Fenrir: No, but in grade school I had to take a speech class to correct a speech impediment. My R's came out sounding like W's. There was this kid in my speech class named Roger Lin and I had to say his name over and over again: Wahgeh, Wahgeh, Wahgeh. Guess why Roger Lin was in speech class?

Q. When the end of the world comes due to nuclear war, when it is just the cockroaches, a big poisonous beetle, Keith Richards and you left alive, what will you do to pass the time?Fenrir: I'd play a lot of Aerosmith very loudly.

Q. Top 3 most creative complainers you've come across on CC?Fenrir: There can be only one Highlander beersurfer.

Q. If you could be one famous person, alive or dead, who would it be and why?Fenrir: Sasaki Kojirō. He lost a famous duel to Miyamoto Musashi, the person who many claim to be the greatest swordsman of all time. I'd want the chance to duel him.

Q. Do you air guitar while you drive? Or are you an air drummer?Fenrir: I'll air drum in the car. Air guitaring is only acceptable in the proper Bill & Ted format.

Q. Which players have you played the most games with as a teammate?Fenrir: I think this is the top 3:L M S: 1030 gamesdanryan: 846 gameswolfpack0530: 480 games

Q. Are there any games or series that stick out in you mind as personal favorites?Fenrir: O&H beating LoW probably. I think that was the first clan war that I participated in.

Q. Is there any appeal for you, in the idea of retiring the persona of master fenrir, and starting over as a noob with no name or reputation? Fenrir: Just a tiny bit. I can never bring myself to finish the medal hunting. Not because I couldn't handle the dip, but because playing terminator and assassin games means dealing with idiots. And at some point I'd probably dip down to lieu., and then I'd have the idiots talking shit to me just because I'd be a lieu., and then I'd flip out and it would just suck. If I could start over, I'd get those all out of the way first. Same with speed and freestyle.

Q. If you did, how long would it take you to get back to general?Fenrir: If I played with the same fervor that I did when I first started playing...maybe like 8 months?

Q. What do you wish to become of your legacy once you retire?Fenrir: I dunno. I try not to dominate my teammates too often and I do my best to keep it frosty in chat. Hopefully, the people that played with me will remember our games together as being fun.

Q. Miko Lee, Asa Akira, Lilly Thai or other?Fenrir: After a brief moment on Google, I will cautiously answer Miko Lee. I say cautiously because Asian chicks who dye their hair blonde are usually trouble.

Q. How thankful are you towards me (wolfpack0530), for putting you on my shoulders and carrying you through so many games?Fenrir: So thankful that if I had the harem that you wish for so much, I’d tell you about it.

Q. Which one of famous wolf's in-game techniques do you prefer the most?Fenrir: The one where he starts his turn, completely spaces out for an hour, and runs out of time without even deploying his troops.

Q. What have been the biggest failures and frustrations in your career?Fenrir: The fact that I haven't found a way to NOT need a career yet. I like my job and I'm good at it, but working sucks.

Q. How did it feel to join IA halfway thru the war with the pack as a glimpse of hope to destroy the pack, only for that hope to be stripped away as the pack toppled over IA and their midway recruit at the finish line?Fenrir: I think I went 4-2 in my games, so I felt just fine. In fact, I’m really proud of you guys! Keep on trucking and you’ll eventually be able to shrug off that shroud of mediocrity. Others disagree, but I support The Pack with all of my heart and soul. You won’t be middling forever!

Q. If you had to choose a companion, why would it not be an Ethiopian? Fenrir: Because they are untrustworthy people, always claiming to be Lithuanians.

Q. Beer Thirty or Top Secret Strategies?Fenrir: Beer Thirty.

Q. MW3 or Battlefield 3?Fenrir: MW3, though I honestly think MW3 pales in comparison to MW2. I also don't hate BF3 and I'm not going to rag on anybody who does. What I don't like about BF3 is the larger teams. I can carry a team of 6 people in MW3, but carrying 16 people in BF3? That's asking a bit much, even from me.

Q. Which of these things of these things do you say on your first date?

A) I've got some condoms and in preparation I've got one on already! B) My last girlfriend if I could play 'Smoke on the Water', So I threw a toaster in her bathtub! C) You've got good hips. Let me see your teeth... We'll take her!!! D) I'm adopting a 'hump and dump' policy. E) I haven't had that much fun since I did my dog. F) Something else? (Please share)Fenrir: Making any statements whatsoever on the first date is a noob move. What you do is throw as many questions to her as you can and see how much her responses annoy you. Does she squeeze the toothpaste from the bottom or the middle? Does she sleep with the windows open in the winter? Does she say “supposably?” Does she have a really small dog? You need to find stuff like that out immediately, because if it’ll bother you on Day 1, it’ll make you homicidal on Day 90. Keep in mind, she will be doing the same to you, so avoid falling into any traps. Good luck.

Q. If I'd (Commander9) start selling an Alcoholic Isotonic drink in public with some Asian ladies as my salesladies, would you finance it?Fenrir: Only if it's on the sidewalk in front of my house and you're not there.

Q. Why do you always kill me (Crazyirishman) in the 1st or 2nd round of any games we play together? was is something I said?Fenrir: According to the Law of Ethnic Stereotpyes, as a short-tempereditalianman, it is my duty.

Q. Have you ever considered being a different type of master *insert norse creature*?Fenrir: Nope, when it comes to mythology dieties, I like 'em destructive.

Q. Fifa 12 or Pes12?Fenrir: Anything but soccer.

Q. If you could bring back one perma-banned member, who would it be?Fenrir: FredVIII Going back and reading through some game chats, this guy seemed like a highly entertaining individual, but he got banned shortly after I joined.

Thanks for your time MF!Fenrir: No problem, dude.

It's not easy writing about strategy or calculations but in this issue I think we have a couple of winners for you.

First we have Crazymilkshake5 with his calculations on beating the odds. "To Roll or Not To Roll" is a unique article supplying an interesting site where these calculations can be done.

Secondly we have, well, me. =) Viceroy63, with an article about always being aware of the situation in the game rounds and why. "Round 02" may be a bit lengthy but well worth the read. I guarantee it or your can cancel your subscription as of right now.

So lets just get right into this and enjoy this Strategy Section of issue 66 of the Conquer Club Newsletter.

So, you're at your desk, (or wherever you do your CCing) and you're thinking, "What are the odds of 5 troops Attacking 2 Troops and winning?" Well that's what were here to answer.

Lets just start with the basics; The odds of 3 troops Assaulting 2 troops and winning is 36.3%. Very low odds of success.

Next we have the 4 Troops attacking 2 Troops, the odds of winning are increased in your favor by 15%, so that makes the chance of you winning, 66%. Simple enough right? Do you see the difference that one troop made? Well lets get to some more complicated odds.

Now we get to the fun stuff. 5 troops attacking 2 troops. The odds of winning 5 on 2 is 89%, see the difference another troop makes? It increases your chances of winning by 23%. Now those are pretty good odds, don't you think?

Lets put this in a Scenario shall we? You are red. You have 2 troops in one territory, your dropping 3 for a total of 5 troops. Green has 2 territories left that both have 2 troops on them. So you think it will be easy to kill green right? WRONG! Well the first 5 troops attacking 2 troops you have a 89% chance to win. Great odds, I would take them any day.

Now you have to attack the second territory of 2 troops with however many troops you have left from the first attack, which gives you a 51% chance of winning. Not very high, but they could be worse. So taking in all of this information into account, you would have a 40% chance of defeating Green. A little better than the 3 on 2, Something that I would not try.

Recently I read where a player wrote that he tries to be aware of the weaker, "low in troops strength players," from as early as Round 02. Another player wrote where he tries to be aware of the other players' troop strengths right from the start and before and after each round. I assume that he is a lot like me in that even when it is not my turn, I read the game logs and see what each player has been up to in between rounds. But I have to ask myself if that is really all that necessary, especially in Round 02.

It's good to know at all times who is the weakest player (troops strength wise) because it can change so much from round to round, but in round 02 and 03 you have to keep an open mind, I think. If you set yourself for Blue, because we say that he is the weakest in troops strength for example, and you stick next to blue in the early few rounds and move your stacks next to his because you want to be guaranteed a shot at taking blue out when the time is right, and then Green becomes the weakest, then you're like, "Aw man, I should have stayed close to Green instead."

There is a part in this game where you also have to rely on instincts and inter-wishing. It can't always be by the book. The book is the guide and we should strive to understand why the book guides us the way it does. It's for the purpose of teaching us to learn to think strategy wise and not just to follow a set of guides. Thinking about targets comes into play later on in round 04 or so. According to the SoC Handbook...

Move #4"Now we should be able to see what the other players are up to. Before each turn you need to check and see who is the weakest player and whether or not you can take them out."

I just finished a game where the weakest player actually won the game by the way. The weakest player had like 25 troops and I had like 50 troops and the trade was for 25 troops. What the weakest player did was, by chance, he cashed in his spoils and hit the next weakest player that was actually stronger than` him by about 5 troops, but this weakest player was in a most excellent position to take out the second weakest with just the extra 25 troops.

Everyone had like 4 and 5 spoils except for me, I only had 3 spoils and the weakest player left me for last because I was only one of 2 players with 50 troops. The rest had only 30 and 35 troops but they had all those spoils in hand. I hate it when people play like that. They don't cash in right away and hold all their cards. I also had 30 troops but I cashed in mine right away to get a total of 50 troops on the board.

The point is that even the weakest of players can win under the ideal circumstances and situations. So while it is always a good idea to be aware of who is the weakest, it is also good to know the whole situation. After all, you may not be able to get to the weakest player because other players have you blocked so that you do not have access to the weakest player, but you may have access to the second or even the third weakest player. And that is the player who could be your road to victory.

I think that's what the SoC Handbook is trying to teach us with that rule of being aware of the weakest player, it's not just to aim for the weakest player but to be aware of the whole environment which begins with the weakest player. But then you calculate, "How much access to his troops do I really have?" Say you have a choice between two targets and one of them is weaker than the other, but you don't have full contact with that weaker player. Let's say he has 20 troops and you have 35, but 15 of your troops are somewhere else. You say, well I have at least 20 troops to 20 troops, but at the same time, there might be another player with 30 troops, but he has full contact with all of your 35 troops. Then, because you have 5 extra troops with the player who is second weakest, he would be a better target than the one where only 20 of your troops have contact.

So I believe that the idea of knowing who is the weakest is simply to make it a habit of analyzing the game and knowing what the full situation is all of the time. You'd be surprised how many people log on and do not really analyze the game and just play only to realize, "Damn, I should have done that instead when I had the chance!" They do not make it a part of their routine, their pattern of play, to check out the full situation, beginning with who is the weakest and then asking more questions from there.

Who is the weakest, who is the closest, who is the strongest and on and on and on until you have analyzed the entire situation. So when the rule book reads, "always know who is the weakest," I think what it is really telling us is to just make it a habit of being aware of the whole game all of the time. Don't just log on and play right away but make it a serious habit to do some serious calculations even if it takes you all day. You do have 24 hours in which to make your move after all.

But in the second round, and I may be wrong, but it is still too premature to try and stay close to the weakest player, because all of that can change by round 04 or 05. I believe that the best that you can do in round 02, is just maintain your stacks. All you really need is at least 3 good stacks. Of course 4 is better and 5 would be best. 6 stacks is just over kill and definitely unmanageable. I personally try for just 4 stacks.

The fewer the stacks (3) the more the concentration of fire power but 4 stacks gives the greater area that you can cover and the more options would you have. So the second round is more about placing or moving your stacks into more general locations, if you can, then about knowing who is the weakest and trying to stay close to that weak player. Although we should always analyze the game and know what the situation is.

Because in the end, when all is said and done; Today's weakest player could be tomorrow’s conqueror. Remember, that it was a weak, scrawny little kid of approximately 15 years of age who eventually took over his father’s plans and conquered the known world for Greece.

Hello again my friends, and welcome to your favorite part of the Newsletter, "War Games", where you can find information about CC Tournaments! Our team has put together another absolutely stunning assortment of articles, including three big interviews: greenoaks, koontz1973, and MudPuppy. All our regular features are here too: Dave's Tips, TPA Wrap, and Join This? Or Not!

On the minus side, I have to report that tournament reporter plurple has gotten busy with real life and resigned from our team. Plurple, we wish you the best of luck, both on CC and in real life! (Maybe we'll get a chance to feature some of your tournaments soon!)

For the last two months the TO Usergroup has been busy working on the TO of the Year /TO Career Award /Prime Awards. Today Lindax, current leader of the Usergroup, released the final results. They are posted in the General Info section of the Tournaments forum, but for the benefit of our readers we have reproduced them below, along with a special message from Lindax himself. My personal congratulations go out to all the winners in the many categories! Well done!

After I was chosen as the leader of the TO Usergroup in December, I asked the members what they would like to see happening in the group. One of the ideas was a TO (Tournament Organizer) of the Year contest for 2011. After 2 weeks of discussing the options we came up with a contest consisting of 3 different steps.

One step was something inspired by the "Oscars" in the film industry, but we decided to call them “Primes” in honor of Optimus Prime, the Godfather of the CC Tournament World. We came up with 17 tournament categories, for which everybody could nominate tournaments. After that the public and later the TO Usergroup voted to see which tournaments would win the Golden, Silver and Bronze Primes.

The second step was choosing a TO of the Year - 2011. The TOs of the tournaments that won a Golden Prime were automatically nominated, others could be nominated by members of the TO Usergroup. After that the group voted for The 3 winners, who also received a Golden, Silver and Bronze Prime. The winner of the Golden Prime received a General Achievement Medal.

The third step was to win the TO Career Award. Basically a kind of "life-time achievement" award for TOs who have had a positive influence on the tournament world on CC over the years. The nominating and voting process was all done within the TO Usergroup. The winner received a General Contribution Medal.

After two and a half months of nominating, voting, etc. we completed the contest with the results you see below.

I would like to thank everyone who participated in the process: the members of the TO usergroup who contributed ideas and ironed out the process, the tournament organizers themselves, the nominators who came forward, and all the members of the CC public who voted for the Primes.