Disturbing Tom Cruise Scientology Ritual Captured on Video

SAN NARCISO, Calif. -- A group of private investigators and surveillance experts, all former employees of Few and Shue Security in San Narciso County, revealed today that they had secretly placed cameras and audio recording equipment in Tom Cruise’s Bennington Vale compound over four years ago. The admission comes as part of an ongoing federal investigation concerning the Church of Scientology and its dubious practices. Officials from Child Protective Services have requested the footage because it purportedly captures details about the circumstances leading to baby Suri’s conception.

Suri Holmes Cruise, born in 2006, is the daughter of celebrity Scientologist Tom Cruise and his wife, Katie Holmes.

Details Surrounding Conception
Disguised as cobblers who claimed to have perfected a technological advance in platform shoe risers, Few and Shue employees snuck into the master bedroom of the complex where they hid pinhole surveillance cameras above the headboard. Downstairs, audio technicians posing as caterers installed electronic bugging devices throughout strategic points in the kitchen and living areas.

For their efforts, the sneaky shutterbugs managed to capture a rarely witnessed Scientology “Impregnation.”

The images reveal Scientology high priests positioned around Katie Holmes’ bed -- all bloated and naked, but curiously shod (a Scientology practice with no documented explanation). Mr. Cruise remained suspiciously absent from the activities.

Video of the impregnation has been described by federal investigators as evidence of forced, non-consensual group sex. The audio equipment downstairs, they say, recorded hours of Holmes sobbing and reciting the Lord’s Prayer. The footage itself remains in the possession of authorities.

Christening of Baby Suri
Several months later, the surreptitious surveillance systems also recorded a gathering that seemed to mirror a christening. Investigators allowed members of the press to view the footage, but refused requests to make it publicly available.

Charles Bowldentine, the lead investigator on the case, called the christening confusing and uncomfortable.

“Frankly, we’re allowing you to watch this because we’re not entirely sure what’s happening. There’s a clear episode of domestic violence, but the catalyst remains uncertain. Aside from that, the video provides little relevant information into the illegal practices under investigation -- coercion, conspiracy to commit fraud, and an elaborate Ponzi scheme. All we can tell for sure is that Holmes’ gestation period was abnormally short. Given the dates between what we think is conception and the birth, Suri would be dangerously premature. And yet, the baby appears quite hardy in the footage.”

The Video
At 1:43 p.m., cameras show Holmes and Cruise arriving at their compound in Bennington Vale. An hour later, Holmes manages to sneak away from her Scientology minders. She remains hidden until a minder locates her in a utility closet, suckling a flask. Visibly drunk, Holmes is led back to her child by a growing cordon of minders.

Holmes staggers over to the cradle, grabs the edges to keep herself upright, and looks down at her offspring with an expression that can only be described as mild disgust. Seconds later, wide eyed and gasping, she screams in terror until a minder intercedes and attempts to subdue her. A brief struggle follows.

The commotion forces Cruise to cut short a tirade about television host Matt Lauer, in which Cruise accuses Lauer’s wife of being weak during the birth of the couple’s third child.

CRUISE (speaking to David Miscavige, chair of the church’s Religious Technology Center and widely considered the most powerful man in Scientology): “Katie was awesome! I was so pumped. She didn’t make a sound during the birth. She didn’t squirm. I had the gag ready, but it never came to that. I bet Lauer’s wife was screaming through labor and dosing herself up with epidurals. How much you wanna bet she develops some imaginary post-partum depression and ends up at a shrink?”

At 2:58 p.m., Holmes tries again to escape the grip of the minders around her, but they grab the back of her head and force her face into the baby’s crib. Holmes relents and stares at Suri.

HOLMES: “What have you done to her?”

MINDER: “We haven’t done anything to her.”

HOLMES: “Her eyes. What have you done to her eyes, you maniacs?”

MINDER: “She has her father’s eyes.”

HOLMES: “What do you mean? Tom’s eyes are normal.”

MINDER: “Her real father, Katie.”

HOLMES: “Oh my God. Oh God. Oh God!”

At that point, the minder slaps Holmes. Cruise rushes over.

CRUISE: “Oh, shut up with your ‘Oh Gods,’ or we’ll kill you – milk or no milk!”

Authorities are continuing to analyze the more than 72 hours worth of footage given to them by the Few and Shue team. They have also coordinated efforts with the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) to investigate the Church of Scientology’s recent purchase of an office building near Coors Field in Denver, Colorado. The Church reportedly paid $8.5 million in cash for the property. Area residents say that construction crews are already building what appears to be an airplane hanger. They also claim that landscapers are designing a lawn with strange patterns over the surface, reminiscent of crop circles.