summer reality

We're almost there. The finale is right around the corner on Tuesday. But before we crown the winner of Big Brother 10, we have to sit through a clips show with (booming announcer voice) NEVER BEFORE SEEN FOOTAGE. You know just from how CBS touted this episode that the "never before seen footage" would be nothing special.

After the jump, let's talk about what happened last night ... or what didn't happen.

Welcome to Super Skank Wednesday. This is where I celebrate the awesomely skanky people on the following shows: I Love Money, Charm School, New York Goes to Hollywood, and The Surreal Life. Basically, I'll discuss the skankalicious shows that make VH1 the network it is today.

So no I Love Money on Sunday night? Wha-what? Pshaw! How can I do my awesome picture books without a new episode?

Okay enough complaining. After the jump, I'm going to discuss a show that doesn't exist (yet) in the VH1 skanktastic line-up: Charm School: The Men of I Love New York. I've got a list of my fantasy cast.

Keesha was obviously the most effected by the Renny's absence. She cried in the Diary Room saying, "It's just really hard to watch her walk out the door." Later she lamented that Renny's picture turned black and white. Renny, a woman who lights up the room when she walks in, should always be in color according to Keesha.

Other reactions to Renny's departure varied. Jerry had mixed feelings. He thinks his HOH reign was a success because it kept him in the house another week, but a failure because Dan was his target. Memphis feels that this past week was extremely successful. Renny never really trusted him so he's taken out another threat. And I'd have to agree. Renny called him a snake in the past and didn't really want him in the alliance of four. Dan was also happy with Renny's eviction. If she had made it to the final two, she would have won. Hands down.

(S10E22) "We don't even get a week to campaign do we?" -- Ollie to Jerry "Yeah well, life is short." -- Jerry to Ollie

Once again, Big Brother began its show with an insanely long recap of the previous show. I think this one was almost fifteen minutes. We went over how Michelle was evicted, how Keesha won HOH, how she put up Ollie and Jerry, blah, blah, blah. Too long.

We did get a few nuggets of information to add to our mental portraits of this summer's houseguests. We got the exchange above which happened as Jerry and Ollie sat in the living room awaiting the results of Big Brother 10 "Fast Forward." But all that really shows is Ollie's bitterness and Jerry's nonsensical reply.

All was not lost though, I liked seeing how the alliance of four scrambled to pick an evictee after Dan won the Veto. Dan grabbed Keesha and whispered, "Who do you want to go home?" Keesha replied Ollie and Dan made sure that Memphis and Renny knew how to vote. I guess it was an obvious choice for them though.

With April gone, Ollie feels it's do or die now in the Big Brother 10 house. He's played the game "sub-par" up until now. Renny feels great about her successful HOH reign. Her target left. Mission accomplished. Keesha is worried about how Ollie will react. And Dan, the swing vote, had some parting words for April who tried to buy him off: "Guess what, April? I'm not here for $5,000. I'm here for $500,000." So, Dan is there to win.

One thing we found out for sure tonight: Dan may or may not win Big Brother, but he is certainly there to play. A recap of last night's Big Brother is after the jump ...

Welcome to Super Skank Wednesday. This is where I celebrate the awesomely skanky people on the following shows: I Love Money, Charm School, New York Goes to Hollywood, and The Surreal Life. Basically, I'll discuss the skankalicious shows that make VH1 the network it is today.

Today I have some life lessons from celebreality. You readers know how grateful I am to VH1 for the many cautionary tales and moral exemplars it has provided me. I'll give you a few things I learned from I Love Money and New York Goes to Hollywood after the jump.

(And by the way, I think I Want To Work for Diddy might be the sleeper hit of the summer. I included some life lessons from that show, too.)

And it was game on tonight. The one thing I love about Big Brother is that just when things are settled, they get turned upside down again. Maybe it's the hamsters backdooring someone who thought himself/herself safe. Maybe it's the underdog winning a big competition. Or maybe it's a once strong alliance getting destroyed. The game is never gradual. It's always extreme. And it's on three nights a week.

VH1 posted an interview they did with Tiffany "New York" Pollard a few days ago and, get this, she wants to do Lifetime original movies. God help us all. When asked whether she would rather pursue comedy or drama for her blossoming acting career, she said emphatically, "Drama!" New York wants to play some "cracked out mom" and loves Lifetime originals. She added that she hopes to be a part of one of their movies in the near future.

Welcome to Super Skank Wednesday. This is where I celebrate the awesomely skanky people on the following shows: I Love Money, Charm School, New York Goes to Hollywood, and The Surreal Life. Basically, I'll discuss the skankalicious shows that make VH1 the network it is today.

After Sunday night's episode, I am reminded of the classic line from Steinbeck's novel, "The best laid plans of mice and men are often effed up by blondes with huge fake boobs and nasal voices." Or something like that. Or maybe it was from the Robert Burns' poem. But enough of this talk about low brow things like famous novels or poems. Let's get to I Love Money.

(S10E06) So we went into last night's episode of Big Brother 10 with Keesha, the Hooters waitress from L.A., as head of household. The plan for the alliance of eight (which started the first week and included Ollie, Libra, April, Keesha, Jessie, Memphis, Michelle, and Angie) was to put up Brian's remaining alliance member, Dan, and one of the floaters -- in this case Jerry.

But will Keesha, who has been a bit of a loose canon from the start, listen to her alliance? And if she doesn't, how will the hamsters regroup? I think we heard at least three hamsters say, "the lines are going to be drawn in the sand" tonight. And indeed they were.

Welcome to Super Skank Wednesday. This is where I celebrate the awesomely skanky people on the following shows: I Love Money, Charm School, New York Goes to Hollywood, and The Surreal Life. Basically, I'll discuss the skankalicious shows that make VH1 the network it is today.

After the jump, I've got some of my favorite I Love Money moments from this weekend and my first impressions of Brooke Knows Best. And I have a special video.

(S10E01) We were spoiled this year with Big Brother. The winter season of BB was arguably the only good thing to come out of the WGA strike (if you're a sucker for low-brow television like me). And now it's back again in its regular summer schedule.

Speaking of schedules, Jackie and I will be covering the show this summer. I'll be doing Sunday episodes with Jackie covering Tuesday and Wednesday. You can also count of TV Squad for Jackie's Live Feed Reports and I might post a few updates from Big Brother After Dark which airs on ShoToo (I knew there was a reason I added Showtime to my cable bill. And I thought I was just getting The Tudors and Secret Diary of a Call Girl.)

TV Land announced today that they will follow ex-boxing champion George Foreman for their new reality series, Family Foreman. The show will consist of six half-hour episodes that feature George balancing his many business endeavors with his family life.

I think this show will be entertaining but I also think that MTV beat TV Land to the punch with Run's House. The shows sound very similar. An immensely successful and famous dad who is also a loving father and husband. A stay-at-home mom who is everyone's rock. And a load of children with different personalities and pursuits. Thankfully, all of George's sons (who are incidentally all named George) have been given nickames: Monk, Big Wheel, Red, and Joe. I feel bad for the one that got "Joe." They couldn't come up with something more creative or more bad ass (like Big Wheel). Family Foreman will premiere on Wednesday July 16th at 10 p.m. on TV Land.

MTV's documentary series Made and True Life are back with all new episodes next weekend. The network will air two new episodes of True Life and four new episodes of Made. The episodes will air in an afternoon programming block on July 20th from 1 p.m. to 7 p.m. ET.

I think I'm mostly likely to watch Made: Model, airing at 3 p.m. ET. The show will turn Adam Stewart, a hippie kid with long hair, into a male model. He'll work with experts on his appearance for five weeks leading up to a senior class fashion show. There he'll compete with the other So-Cal hotties for a modeling contract. But here's why I'm interested. Russell Simmons and Pete Wentz will guest star on the episode and give Adam some advice. Why them? I guess Russell Simmons is okay; that guy could give advice on how to be successful in any industry. And he does own Phat Farm. But Pete Wentz? Did I miss something?

What do you do if you're dad is a wrestling icon, your mom is a cougar dating a man the same age as you, and your little brother is in jail for reckless driving? You get your own reality show, of course. And who's reality is more messed up than Brooke Hogan's right now? She's surprisingly the most normal of that bunch.

Her new show, Brooke Knows Best, premieres this Sunday July 13th at 10 p.m. ET / PT. That's right after I Love Money!