Laguna Beach: 911

Cop log confirms it takes a village of idiots

For decades, people worldwide have known Laguna Beach as a tranquil seaside village. "Laguna's the Riviera of Pacific Coast," announced an August headline in the Toronto Star. A local Chamber of Commerce flack proudly calls Laguna "the jewel of Orange County's coastline," while some Lagunatics are wont to refer to it as "Mayberry by the Sea" because of its small-town charms.

MTV's newest reality show Laguna Beach: The Real O.C.—a 90210 meets The Real World chronicling of the lives of privileged Laguna teens—no doubt intends to capitalize on the beach town's enticing mixture of aw-shucks and megabucks. But despite such well-worn propaganda, there's an undeniable seedy side to sunny Laguna that you won't see on Laguna Beach—heck, it'd make the producers of Cops grimace. Check out this sampling of recent real-world Laguna Beach police reports:

Brooks Street Beach:Police caught four people having sex on the beach—and we don't mean the mixed drink. Vista del Sol: Woman reported that she and her husband hid in their bedroom as a man began ringing their doorbell and violently jiggling the door handle. Upon arrival police found a stupefied San Bernardino man standing on the front porch and asking, "Where am I?" He was transported to jail for drug intoxication. Forest Avenue:Authorities arrested an Aliso Viejo man for drug intoxication. High Drive:A man wearing dark glasses and a straw hat spied into a resident's window and yelled incoherently. Carmelita Street:A man was arrested for being on drugs. Forest Avenue:Three men yelled profanities at people walking past a store. South Coast Highway:Police found a traffic hazard when they found a man sitting in the middle of busy Coast Highway. Cleo Street:Cops arrested a Newport Beach man for allegedly possessing stolen credit cards and a cache of methamphetamine during a routine traffic stop. Park Avenue:A homeless man was reported sitting on a resident's roof at 2:34 a.m. Saint Ann's Beach:Residents saw aman wearing a black outfit and videotaping children playing at the beach. Bluebird Canyon Drive:Police cited a man for allegedly possessing marijuana. Broadway: An intoxicated woman with long blond hair and carrying two shopping bags struck a woman standing at the bus depot. Cleo Street:A heavily intoxicated man refused to leave Ralph's after employees declined to sell him alcohol. Victory Walk:A man found a used syringe at a work site. Vista de la Luna:A resident called police to claim a huge snake was trying to enter his window. Cedar Way:A man was arrested for being drunk in public after he passed out in an alley. Glenneyre Street:An angry manwasscreaming at people. Main Beach: In two unrelated incidents, men were arrested for allegedly using concealed video cameras to tape children playing at the beach; according to cops, both men admitted they were filming the kids for sexual jollies. North Coast Highway:A Laguna Niguel man was arrested on suspicion of felony drunken driving after a crash in which someone was injured. South Coast Highway:Police arrested a man for battery, resisting arrest and vandalism after he allegedly slugged a woman. Flamingo Road:Cops arrested a Laguna Niguel man on suspicion of felony drug possession. Laguna Canyon Road:A driver yelled profanities out of a car window. South Coast Highway:A disturbed woman left several threatening letters with hotel managers. Table Rock Beach:Police found a missing 16-year-old Temecula girl while she drank alcohol with a group of people on the beach. South Coast Highway and Vista del Sol:A Mission Viejo man was arrested for DUI, holding pot and speeding after police responded to an early morning drag race. Ruby:A woman told cops that during an argument a neighbor sawed off her tree branches. Vista del Sol and South Coast Highway:A Mission Viejo resident was arrested for drunken driving after reportedly driving "all over the road." Acacia Drive and Cedar Way:Teenagers threw a water bottle from a moving car and struck a pedestrian. Alta Laguna Boulevard:Cops arrested a Los Angeles man for allegedly possessing drugs. El Bosque:A woman reported that her neighbor threatened to shoot her dog. South Coast Highway: A man stole an old Volkswagen, somehow got it going at speeds exceeding 100 mph (!), crashed into a minivan in Dana Point and was arrested at gunpoint after running from cops. Oak Street and South Coast Highway:A man was seen spitting on campaign posters. Cliff Drive and Jasmine Street:Passions start early: police broke up a fistfight at 9:44 a.m. Cleo Street: A Foothill Ranch man was arrested for DUI, marijuana possession, peeing in public and blocking oncoming traffic.