Treasury Department To Release Four New Penny Designs

The beloved United States Treasury Department just announced plans to release four new designs for the penny, to commemorate the 200th anniversary of Abraham Lincoln’s birth. Thanks to this Earth shattering news, we can take a breather from our Wall Street woes, and sleep soundly tonight.

To think, some sheeple want to get rid of the penny simply because it costs 1.26 cents to produce each one. I cannot believe how selfish our own citizens are. I, for one, am happy to help foot the resulting $100 million cost of producing pennies and nickles for more than their face value. The penny represents the strength of the United States, and we will not show weakness at the face of rising penny costs.

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