Long Distance Relationship

Dear Carolyn: My boyfriend and I are very much in love. He is considering a career that could mean having to move frequently and to places that would not be practical for my career. This would not be a forever thing but at least a several-years thing. After much thought on both our parts, he told me he'd rather sacrifice the career option than me. So, we are trying to figure out a solution we can both live with and stay together. His commitment to make things work between us makes me want...

Dear Amy : I work in a very small office setting (five employees). At Christmastime, token gifts have been exchanged (one person always gives tins of homemade cookies, another gives candles, etc., while another seems to find the smallest, most unattractive items she can find to give to me). I have always tried to make and give gifts that I have put some special thought and time into, which may appear to some as being cheap. Over this past year, the relationships with these three...

By Dr. Ruth Westheimer, (copyright) 1999 Karola Inc., All Rights Reserved. Distributed by King Features Syndicate | October 6, 1999

Q. I am in a long-distance relationship with someone I do not want to lose. However, I'm finding myself extremely attracted to other guys and, in fact, I just met one I would really like to get to know better. A. I wish I could help you, but I'm afraid you can't have it both ways. You don't say how much longer this long-distance relationship will remain long-distance. If it is a short time and if you really do want to keep him as your boyfriend, then you'll just have to...

The way James Vest initially envisioned it, he would propose to Kat Carolan while she sky-dived over Chicago, like this: "Her chute would gently part the clouds and there would be nothing but our green world below, and somewhere directly below, would be the shape of a heart, made out of her closest friends and family," James wrote on his blog, jamesvest.com . "And as she landed, the crowd would rush over and circle her and I'd be there, with...

By Dr. Ruth Westheimer. 1995 Karola Inc., All Rights Reserved and Distributed by King Features Syndicate | August 21, 1995

Q. I am an 18-year-old college student. I just moved into my own dorm room at college and I have a little dilemma. In moving away from home, I also moved away from my girlfriend. We have been together for two years now and we love each other very much. We have had a wonderful relationship so far but when I moved she has been having doubts about the stability of our relationship. I want to stay with her but I am always a distance away. She is skeptical about having a...

Alternately giddily exhilarating and deeply exasperating, my six-month long-distance relationship with my wife-to-be was a lesson in trust, faith and constant, open communication. We had spent just four days together after meeting in Austin, Texas, followed by half a year of playing phone tag. She ended up moving to Chicago from Austin - taking a leap of faith she was less than certain would work. Our first year in the same place was bumpy. I had the habit,...

By Snow Anderson. Compiled by Marcia Borucki and Cassandra West | January 31, 2001

"No one chooses a long-distance relationship; they choose you," says Leslie Karsner, author of "The Long Distance Romance Guide" (iUniverse.com, $11.95). Even though countless couples find themselves in long-distance relationships, when Karsner found herself involved with a man in a distant locale, she couldn't find any books on the topic. So, she says, she decided to write one herself. She calls her book a "guide for the geographically challenged." ...

Dear Amy: Last year I became friends with a woman at work who, like me, was pregnant. We hung out a few times, and when I visited her house, I was shocked. Amy, I am not a neat freak, but I have never been anywhere so filthy. Her house was like an episode of "Hoarders. " Every surface - even the stairs - was covered in random papers, trash, dirty dishes, clothes, boxes, recycling and so forth. In many rooms, the trash was 2 feet deep and covered the entire floor. You had to wade through...

Who hasn't opened a medicine chest in a partner's apartment? Or riffled through his mail? Or peeked in his closet? Or searched in his drawers? Certainly, not these readers. . . . Jessica: "After school got out, my new boyfriend invited me to spend the summer at his house. I would work for his parents in their company and stay at their house. He left me alone at his house on Monday and went to work. I would start work the following day. I was bored so I started snooping. The...

Dear Amy: My sister's husband is an alcoholic. He makes half-hearted attempts to get treatment, and then goes on another binge. When he's drinking and gets verbally abusive, my sister shows up at my place to crash for a few days, until he's sober again. This has been going on for years. I love my sister, and I will always be there for her - but I am getting fed up. Whenever she shows up at my door, she says she will leave him. Then she goes back and tells me he has apologized,...

It's splitsville for Ashley Olsen and her boyfriend, 20-year-old Columbia University quarterback Matt Kaplan, people.com reports. The breakup was "amicable," spokesman Michael Pagnotta said. The two "parted on good terms" and "wish each other the best." Their downfall: maintaining a long-distance relationship. Her sister, Mary-Kate, is dating David Katzenberg, the 21-year-old son of DreamWorks co-founder Jeffrey Katzenberg. The twins' movie, "New York Minute," debuts in theaters Friday.

Dear Amy: I am jealous of my boyfriend's sister and it causes me such anguish. I don't like feeling this way. We have a long-distance relationship and see each other every four or five weeks. We talk every day on the phone and email, etc., but I get jealous when he spends time with her. She lives nearby, and they are very close. They spend a lot of time together, especially when she is between boyfriends. To make things more complicated, he is separated and lives next door to his...

Dear Amy: I am jealous of my boyfriend's sister and it causes me such anguish. I don't like feeling this way. We have a long-distance relationship and see each other every four or five weeks. We talk every day on the phone and email, etc., but I get jealous when he spends time with her. She lives nearby, and they are very close. They spend a lot of time together, especially when she is between boyfriends. To make things more complicated, he is separated and lives next door to his...

Dear Amy: For the last several years, I've been meeting with a small group of friends for a late holiday dinner. This year, the hostess has asked for $20 from each of us toward the cost of the meal, citing rising food prices. We agreed. Meanwhile, I was given a 20-pound turkey and told her that I would contribute the turkey to the meal and therefore shouldn't owe any money. She said the bird didn't count since I hadn't paid for it. I countered that it was still $20 less than she would...

By Judith Martin. Distributed by United Feature Syndicate Inc | June 30, 1999

Dear Miss Manners-Is there a polite way to dispatch items left in my home by an ex-girlfriend who lives in another city? My girlfriend and I had a long-distance relationship for about six months, and after her first visit, she left some clothes-including dirty laundry-in my already-tight bachelor apartment. I recently called her to end our relationship and, despite my being as polite as possible, I was dressed down with language that (I prefer to think) degraded the lady more than...

Dear Amy: I started a relationship with a work colleague about four months ago. I am aware that he already has a girlfriend in a long-distance relationship. They have been together for four years. What started as a mere physical relationship has turned into something more emotional for us, and we repeatedly say and demonstrate that we love each other. However (and perhaps understandably), this guy is having a hard time parting with his girlfriend. While I am happy when I...

Dear Amy: Recently my boyfriend moved to a town a couple of hours away to attend college, while I'm left in our hometown to complete my senior year of high school. We're planning on trying out a long-distance relationship for now. I was supposed to see him the day he left, but he called a half-hour beforehand and said he had just been too busy all day. He asked if he could instead try to come back the following weekend to see me. However, since then, he hasn't been in touch. ...