Joke of the day

Every man needs a go-to joke.

Monday

Joke
N°
5472

Funeral Services
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?"
"98," she replied. "Two years older than me."
"So you're 96," the undertaker commented.
"That's right," she responded. "Hardly worth going home, is it?" Ryan Murphy

Tuesday

Joke
N°
5473

Would You Like a Bag?
A young man is buying some condoms. The cashier asks him, "Would you like a bag with those?"
"No," he replies, "she's not that ugly." Ryan Murphy

Wednesday

Joke
N°
5474

Occupations
A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you go first," she said. "What does your father do all day?"
Tim stood up and proudly said, "He's a doctor."
"That's wonderful. How about you, Annie?" the teacher asked.
Annie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman."
"Thank you, Annie," the teacher said. "What about your father, Billy?"
Billy proudly stood up and announced: "My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse."
The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography. Later that day she went to Billy's house and rang the bell. Billy's father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and demanded an explanation.
Billy's father said, "I'm actually an attorney, but how can I explain a terrible thing like that to a 7-year-old?" Ryan Murphy

Thursday

Joke
N°
5475

On The Down Low
A man took a beautiful woman home with him. They began kissing on the sofa and as he slipped his hand into her pants, she asked, "Shall we take this upstairs?"
"I'd rather we did it here," he replied.
"Oh, I see," she winked, "something in your bedroom you don't want me to see?"
"Yeah," he replied, "my wife." Ryan Murphy

Friday

Joke
N°
5476

Caught With An Ax In His Hand
Mrs. Lang, a fourth-grade teacher, was instructing her class on American history.
"George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it," she said. "Now, Sally, do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
"That's simple," Sally replied. "Because George still had the ax in his hand." Ryan Murphy

Saturday

Joke
N°
5477

Something Fishy
Jenny, an 8-year-old, is in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor approaches.
"What are you doing, Jenny?" her neighbor asks.
"My goldfish died, and I just buried him," she replies.
The neighbor laughs and says, "That's a big hole for a goldfish."
Jenny replies, "That's because he's inside your cat!" Ryan Murphy

Sunday

Joke
N°
5478

Hiking
A father came home from a long business trip to find his son riding a very fancy new mountain bike. "Where did you get the money for the bike?" he asked. "It must have cost 2,000 dollars!"
"Easy, Dad," the boy replied. "I earned it hiking."
"Come on," the father said. "Tell me the truth."
"That is the truth," the boy replied. "Every night you were gone, Mr. Reynolds from the grocery store would come over to see Mom. He'd give me a $50-dollar bill and tell me to take a hike." Ryan Murphy