If you ask people what their ideal partner is, and they listed them, most of the time you're gonna be thinking "Yeah, good luck with that..." but generally, if someone meets someone else and they have that romantic spark, all those ideals will often be overlooked.

(Original post by CleverSquirrel)
Like, most people these days expect to find a guy/girl of their dreams and so have certain expectations from them?
and so have such high standards, but are completely oblivious to those around them?

like the person of their dreams could be stood right in front of them but because of their expectations and high standards- they neglect them and look for a hot/good looking number 10 or something? they dont look at compatibitly

i think if people opened their eyes and dont have very high standards, and just followed their heart then maybe they wont complain about being lonely and not finding anyone?

(Original post by WoodyMKC)
If you ask people what their ideal partner is, and they listed them, most of the time you're gonna be thinking "Yeah, good luck with that..." but generally, if someone meets someone else and they have that romantic spark, all those ideals will often be overlooked.

do you think that happens irl? or do your views change once you're in a relationship? and standards drop?

(Original post by CleverSquirrel)
do you think that happens irl? or do your views change once you're in a relationship? and standards drop?

Yeah, I was talking about IRL I don't think standards drop, it's just people realise that they'd be silly to turn this person down just because they don't have brown eyes or a degree when the two of them get along so well and have that romantic spark.

(Original post by WoodyMKC)
Yeah, I was talking about IRL I don't think standards drop, it's just people realise that they'd be silly to turn this person down just because they don't have brown eyes or a degree when the two of them get along so well and have that romantic spark.

hmmm i see what you mean- i guess you're right to an extent, expectation wise however i dont think people change imo

And explain what you mean by it because I would have thought looks is what attracts you to them first?

ahh i see, well there has to be a certain degree of physical attraction i think? like there has to be something about them that makes you think 'aw he/she is cute' ect....after that its the personality that makes them more attarctive

(Original post by CleverSquirrel)
like the person of their dreams could be stood right in front of them but because of their expectations and high standards- they neglect them and look for a hot/good looking number 10 or something? they dont look at compatibitly

Well no cause if you're not attracted to them it's unlikely that that's gonna be compatible, eh? What I've noticed with a few people is that they create some kind of image of what they think the perfect person for them is (the dream person) and then that gets all thrown out of the window when somebody a bit different pops up outta nowhere.

I personally think it's a bit daft to call standards for attractiveness high and low given the subjectivity of it all. There's some kind of weird implication that the physical attractiveness of people is somehow objective when it blatantly isn't. It's easy to prove to yourself if you just observe debates between certain groups of single lads when they get onto the topic of who's fit and who isn't.

Some people do, some people don't. What I wouldn't do is mix "high standards" with "looking for compatibility".

It's difficult to define what a high standard actually is, because our needs and desires are all unique to us as an individual. What someone may consider to be a high standard may be another's preference, and vice versa.

For example, because of personal experience I can identify characteristics I would consider a must in a partner, as well as those which I would prefer and those I would stay away from. Thus, my standards are "higher" because I now have a better understanding of what I am looking for, and therefore I would like to think if I were to meet such a person the relationship would be stronger and healthier as a result of being more compatible. I do take physical features into account, but in that regard I have always been pretty diverse and so long as I found them sexually appeal (IE. Attractive) I would not rule them out. My preference is red heads, but I wouldn't turn someone down for being a brunette.

Of course, there are people that insist on someone being X height, having Y color hair, interesting in Z music. Personally I don't understand why people restrict themselves so much, but sadly this is modern dating culture and a reflection on how, particularly in younger people, the "grass is always greener".

I'll say this, and I don't say it out of bitterness, but I have noticed throughout the years that it is women who have far more requirements/standards than men. It could be modern culture, it could be biological, but I've witnessed first-hand men being rejected for being two inches from a woman's preferred height or not earning enough money. On the other hand, again from what I've witnessed, men are generally more flexible. Of course, this isn't an accurate representation of dating but just what I've come to see for myself.

I have a quite a few standards, more of personality than looks. For me, any girl who's healthy, brunette and laughs at my jokes is enough for physical attraction but personality is just, I need to feel like we share something and if I did I know the rest is to be worked on and each relationship gives you lessons and renews your expectations but I think there's nothing wrong with dreaming about a happy romantic relationship where you do cute stuff with each other and have a happy family. Sure you shouldn't expect things to be perfect but there's no harm in desiring it but it's always important to remember your ideal partner isn't your ideal partner yet because they haven't met you, they don't have your influence.

If you have huge standards and aren't willing to make a sacrifice, they deserve better than you and you don't deserve them

(Original post by SpiritSharD)
Some people do, some people don't. What I wouldn't do is mix "high standards" with "looking for compatibility".

It's difficult to define what a high standard actually is, because our needs and desires are all unique to us as an individual. What someone may consider to be a high standard may be another's preference, and vice versa.

For example, because of personal experience I can identify characteristics I would consider a must in a partner, as well as those which I would prefer and those I would stay away from. Thus, my standards are "higher" because I now have a better understanding of what I am looking for, and therefore I would like to think if I were to meet such a person the relationship would be stronger and healthier as a result of being more compatible. I do take physical features into account, but in that regard I have always been pretty diverse and so long as I found them sexually appeal (IE. Attractive) I would not rule them out. My preference is red heads, but I wouldn't turn someone down for being a brunette.

Of course, there are people that insist on someone being X height, having Y color hair, interesting in Z music. Personally I don't understand why people restrict themselves so much, but sadly this is modern dating culture and a reflection on how, particularly in younger people, the "grass is always greener".

I'll say this, and I don't say it out of bitterness, but I have noticed throughout the years that it is women who have far more requirements/standards than men. It could be modern culture, it could be biological, but I've witnessed first-hand men being rejected for being two inches from a woman's preferred height or not earning enough money. On the other hand, again from what I've witnessed, men are generally more flexible. Of course, this isn't an accurate representation of dating but just what I've come to see for myself.

i agree with you here, its quite subjecive and would be differant for everyone.

so the picky people?
i get that- most girls i know have v v specific requirements which i think is daft!
i think its quite harsh tbh- i think personality counts more than anything?

so what if youre 2 inches talleror have a certain shoe size? its whats in the inside that counts surely?

i think over time the mentality of the dating thing has changed.
look at tinder for example- you judge someone on how they look and see if they fit you're requirements? who cares if they have a crappy personality?