Monday, March 26

Seven Minutes In Heaven.

1. "Hey, What's With The Title Of This Post?"

Beats me. In my teen years, I never had the opportunity to partake in a game of 'Seven Minutes In Heaven.' In fact, I would have to say that I never played a game that directly resulted in some sort of sexual activity for me. Spin The Bottle and Strip Poker aside, of course, but that really doesn't count. Those add up to nothing more than a foul tip in the Baseball game of Life.

When I was 14, I was invited by an 18-year-old to play her in a game of Strip Darts. I really liked this girl, and knew damn well that I was never going to get this kind of a chance again, but chickened out at the last minute. There I was, in her basement with what seemed to be the break of a lifetime, only to turn it down just like any typical 14 year old boy would eventually do. Just a brief scanning of the CDP Archives will remind you that the entire decade of the 90's was just a series of older women screwing with my head.

Back in Middle School, I was so terrified of the increasing realities of sex that I attempted to avoid them at all costs. My insecurities in myself were at a fever pitch, as were the insecurities of most every boy in the 7th grade, really. Around that time, I vaguely remember being playfully locked in a basement with my then-girlfriend during a party; the raving mob urging us on to make out or something. Instead of taking it like a champ, I responded by busting the door off at the hinges. Her dad showed up, got mad, and everyone had to leave.

.....Smooooth.

I have no idea what prompted me to talk about this, but I thought it was interesting to mention. I'm sitting in the dark right now, listening to Asobi Seksu (beautiful and super-dreamy pop from NYC), and I guess I'm just feeling somberly reminiscent. Let's bust out of this funk, shall we? All of these stories are for another place and another time; preferably when I have enough ambition to start producing short films.

2. "Hey, What Did You Do This Weekend?"

On Friday, I had some friends over for a spirited Guitar Hero and Mario Kart competition. Beforehand, they had seen Zach Galifianakis perform downtown, which was fantastic, from what they had shared with me. They left at midnight, opting to walk home in the beautiful moonlight and fog. Spring has finally arrived to southeast Wisconsin, and we're plenty grateful.

The funny thing about Wisconsinites is that, at some point in late winter, we become completely defiant of the temperature and season. After being jerked around one too many times by Mother Nature, we collectively throw our winter coats into the backseat, and proclaim the start of spring. Sure, it may be just as cold as it was in January, but we get to the point where we just have to believe what we tell ourselves, so we don't chop our family up in the attic. It's a collective statewide temper tantrum, and I'm usually the first one to fall on my back and kick wildly into the air.

I also checked out 300 and Dead Silence. 300 was worth my time, and I got everything I expected out of it. Dead Silence was a wasted opportunity, and resembled an average episode of Tales From The Crypt at best. I wanted to be scared; it didn't even come close to happening.

I spent the rest of my time watching the most boring NCAA tournament ever, and contemplating the purchase of an 80GB Video iPod. It's going to become a reality next week, regardless of if I can afford it or not. As a somewhat-grown man, I'm allowed to make a completely unreasonable decision at an approximate rate of 2 per year. This is one of those occasions.

On Dateline NBC, Chris Hansen is leaving the child predators alone for a few weeks, in favor of tracking down proprietors of Nigerian e-mail scams. Dateline NBC, or the United States government for that matter, cannot legally arrest these people, but there's nothing that says they can't humiliate them on national television. It's good TV that's attempting to compete with American Idol, so check it out tomorrow if you get the chance.

I cannot tell you how cool it is to see Johnny Marr in Modest Mouse. It should also be mentioned that 'Brianstorm,' the new track by the Arctic Monkeys, is absolutely tremendous; you can view the equally fantastic video HERE. Morrissey is coming to Milwaukee in May, and I will be in the front row, pushing women and children aside for the chance to snag one of his many silk shirts.4. "Hey, What Are You Reading Right Now?"

Believe it or not, I've had this request show up in my inbox recently. If you want to interview or contact me in any way for your own blog, send an e-mail to communistdance@yahoo.com. I've actually been contemplating this idea myself, as there are a few influential bloggers out there that I really would like to chat with. I think it would be a neat idea for bloggers to cross over ideas and popularity, and in tune, give their readers something else to enjoy. For example, if I could snag an interview with Mr. Pork Tornado, that would not only be a neat post to read, it would also send lots of his loyal readers to my page, and vice versa. Everyone wins.

Okay kids, I'm done for today. Sound off in the comments section and enjoy your Monday.

The Pool Barn is that huge red barn that is just before the 90/94 overpass on 151S headed into Madison. Usually, there are lots of pick-up trucks in the parking lot. They have cheap pool tables, beer, and a glow-in-the-dark room next to their "killer" jukebox. At least, I hope it's still that way, as it's been approx. 5 years since my last (only) trip there.