Donde esta el Horndog? Our favorite enchalada lovin, American citizen makin, no green card wife havin, burrito eater lays the hot sauce down on MHD. I mean, come on? You think guys like A-Rod are gonna help you beat someone married to a mexican? Que pasa? Or in spanish, No. Maybe you should have gotten OJ’s help.

Taco ball 6, Horndog 4

Match up #2: Timdawg vs. Krueg

Prediction: Krueg 6-4

Tim takes the immortal words of C3P0 to heart. “Let the Wookie win.” The post tax season charge contiues for the Wook as Tim manages to rip off a Pedro-esque 1 win. Maybe we should all be pissed at Kev’s wife for making him miss his April 17 celebration, as it appears he is still taking out his frustrations on our beloved league.

Wookie NINE, timdawg 1

Match up #3: Goat vs Dukie

Prediction: Goat 7-3

Cows win! Taking a page from his hero Dusty’s managing style, in which the cubbies managed to score 9 runs over 9 games, with something like 852 consecutive scoreless innings (hell I lost count of the actual #), Goat takes his ass whipping like the little girl he is. Although bessie the milk cow may have been looking forward to some frustration lovin, Dukie comes out way ahead.

Duke wins 7-2

Match up #4: Mantis vs. Paul-ass

Prediction: Mantis 6-4

Bear claw on DL. Paul ass not around. Man that would have been a tough one to predict. I’m not going to say anything, for fear I may piss the Mantis off, making him come to my house to rip my head off, causing him to have a heart attack and keel over. Oh who am I kidding? He could kick my ass without much strain on anything.

Paul wins 7-3

Match up #5: Phil vs. Andjob

Prediction: Andy 6-4

I’m assuming that due to spacial concerns in the team name field, it actually means “Ain’t no job like a hand job from gay ass Andy”. Cause this week he sure was a giver. Giving up 7 to the guy who’s sorta playing. Does this mean Phil is really gonna start playing now?

Phil wins 7-3

Match up #6: Pete vs. Gibby

Prediction: Gibby 8-2

“Oh no, we suck again!” Was the only quote from pedro’s locker room after Gibby’s victory. Well pedro, at least you aren’t the worst team in the league, oh, wait, yes you are. Sorry if I gave you a false bit of hope there. Just give the goat a call and ask him about “next year”.

Gibby wins 4-3

Match up #7: Luke vs. Pate

Prediction: Pate 9-1

You see what happens when you let the Goat talk shit about your team? You were lucky to survive Luke’s onslaught. Even after whining about how well Luke started off, Pate manages to pull it out in the end. Yes dickman, I said “pull it out!”

Pate wins 6-4

Match up #8: Jimmy vs. Lackey

Prediction: 0-0 tie

Well the goat was right about 1 thing, Jimmy’s team did show up drunk. But after fighting off the hangover, and getting ditched by a chunky chick (she did have really, really big tits) Jimmy is able to overcome in the end. Well Lackey, at least you aren’t as bad as pedro, and the Rangers are playing well!

Match Up #1: Dickman vs. MHDWell, I am afraid that Dickman’s “look at me, I’m in 2nd place!” days are coming to an end. He will begin the week marching for the equality of his people and just won’t recover. MHD’s offense will come on strong and end up whipping the enchilada shit out of him. I don’t see this one going too far in the week…..

Prediction: MHD burrito slaps Dickman 7-3

Match up #2: Timdawg vs. Kreug

This matchup is the battle of who can be more mediocre. Two or last years most powerful teams are both not so much so far this season. Timdawg has had to change his lifestyle which has affected his managing, but that’s better than a dirt nap. It will be interesting to see who pulls this out.

Prediction: Wookie wins 6-4

Match up #3: Duke vs Goat

The Goat comes off a convincing dissapointing win over the cellar dwelling Pedro, and Duke loses to the Timdawg by the narrow margin of a cousin’s pubic hair. This will make a Goat with something to prove ready to kick the pork butt out of Duke. He can smoke some meats, but he smokes a good pole too.

Prediction: Goat gives Duke the hoof, 7-3

Match up #4: Mantis vs. Paul-ass

Oh how the mighty have fallen….. the once feared Paul is now in grave danger of a bear claw. Even with the Mantis not feeling his best, it won’t take much him to eat Paul’s head and then post pictures of his sister in the HBOTD gallery.

Prediction: Mantis wins 6-4

Match up #5: Phil vs. Andjob

This will be one of the powerhouse matchups. Andjob is back on top (with balls not exposed… yet) of his division, but Phil looks pretty good for someone who won’t have time for this this year. It will be a good match, but I forsee Andjob doing a victory dance in a speedo at the end of the week.

Prediction: Andjob 6-4 in a nailbiter, or is that pillowbiter?

Match up #6: Gibby vs. Pedro

Pete will continue to prove that he LOVES the cock! Gibby, or team Pujols that is, will smack that ass Rex Kwon Do style, and Pete will go back to trying to learn more Dragon Ball Z moves……

Prediction: No soup for Pete, Gibby wins 8-2

Match up #7: Luke vs. Pate

After an uncharacteristic beginning, Pate looks to get his ass going against the ever-present (not really) Luke-diddy. After the big controversial trade with the Goat, Pate’s new offenseive Juggernaut will hit 7 homeruns and have 25 RBI all by himself, only because I traded him, and that’s what seems to happen to me.

Prediction: Luke….. Pate is your daddy 9-1

Match up #8: Lackey vs. Jimmy

It’s a little OU showdown action. Loser becomes head basketball coach at OU, and that really sucks. After Jimmy’s nice tie against Gibby, and Lackey not fuckin’ showing up aginst MHD, this isn’t even going to be a contest. But now that I think about it, neither team will win.