Are You Too Competitive?

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You have competition every day because you set such high standards for yourself that you have to go out every day and live up to that. Michael Jordan

Last week we received an email from a listener of the Great People Show and she was concerned because her and her husband have become TOO competitive. Specifically, she was now making more money than him and he wasn’t reacting very well. It seems to have bruised his ego. He went from teammate (we’re in this together) to competitor (I want to win at your expense).

I’m certain he isn’t consciously thinking this way but this is how it shows up in the relationship. This REALLY got me thinking. When does being competitive go wrong? Why do ‘Teammates Compete?’

Competitiveness should drive you and the people around you forward. TOGETHER. It’s a critical part of accomplishing more in life and being better at things. Competition is a critical attitude in our success. It drives us to be better.

When you see other successful people on your team (work, marriage, family, friends) you don’t necessarily want to be that person but you want to work harder to achieve that level of success. In the example of our marriage above, he may not care about winning but he certainly cares about losing. In his mind he’s not ‘keeping up.’ To him, his competitiveness is to maintain his position in the relationship. DANGER ZONE!

Our ‘competitive mindset’ should not be about winning but more about progress. If you are competing to win, what are you winning? What’s the prize? There is an obvious gain for winning or achieving a goal. Isn’t the ultimate measure what you gain for other people around you?