The none exciting adventures of a busyish, works in Primary School and loves it, bog standard Mum, who fast ran out of her thirties...straight into her 40s which frankly so far...have been RUBBISH. She demands a refund.

Saturday, 30 April 2011

Gorgeous new bird bath Mr Radiostar made out of an old uplighter we were going to throw away! Something like this costs a fortune int shops!

Teasing glimpse of new blue...I do prefer the old blue on the stonework but this Summer Blue from Homebase was billy bargain ten quid half price! I'd have to pay £30 for the blue of the old and as we all know times is hard!

THE DENTIST
Go to my friend's blog and read this brave post. Go on - off you go....THE DENTIST then this is my reply

Firstly, I had to wipe tears from my eyes lady- I love you so so much and be brave xx it’ll be worth it in the end.
Secondly. KIMBERLEY – I AM exactly the same as you are. Although my mum never ever said things like that. But plenty of other people did.( I creid again at this point)
AND THIRDLY, ERYN are you looking ……..because of our invisible stretches a million miles across the world bond twillight zone thingy we have going on ( & why is it ususally the bad stuff?)
I went to the dentist on Tuesday 26th April to be told to my horror that after 20 years I needed a filling. The decay is on the inside, I have strong enamel on the outside. How my sweet little dunno where she is from Latvia? Poland? Norway? dentist lady could see this I have no idea but I don’t wanna fillingggggggg. THEN to add insult to injury last night eating a toffee ( If I wasn’t fat I wouldn’t have been eating a bloody toffee) I pulled out the other filling I have – this one is like half a tooth size. It’s left a horrid sharp half a tooth with a big cavern that I am desperately trying to keep my tongue out of. It makes me cringe. ( I need to blog this out later!!) So I cannot ring the dentist till Tuesday because of the Bank Holidays so I cannot eat anything – cured my toffee habit STRAIGHT away…
Fourthly – please can do do something good karma wise for me like win the lottery???!!!
Much love and can’t wait to see the new gnashers – and college fund? What’s that? We went to the daughter’s uni meeting and they confrimed fees of 9K a year!!! We have no college fund! She’ll have to be at least 27K in debt at the minimum for the rest of her life!! We never had it so good!!

Friday, 29 April 2011

So I have NO idea how to undo this! Of course I have my security thingymabob set so I get to see the comments first before I publish but other than that nowt's new. O and the Wedding was AWESOME. I am proud to be British today! Pomp and ceremony? bring it on!!

Thursday, 28 April 2011

As you know, if you have read my past posts, the class within I have been serving my sentemce is known as THE class. To say they are lively is polite. To say they are, on the whole, little shites, is....polite! Challenging and refreshing is what they are. Rude, nasty, mean, sneaky disloyal applies to 90% of them and I am not enlarging those figures for blogtertainment.

BUT> I love them all. I do, I can't help it. Some more than others and it can change day to day, even session to session.
EC is allergic to register maths. It makes him lethargic. He was laid on the desk this morning. I knew he knew he had to do it because I siad Good Morning EC, register task on the board as he passed me in the doorway. He rolled his eyes and shrugged his shoulders and lolloped in slow motion to his desk. Don't worry, dear reader, I practise FULL equality in my practice ( C'mon - do I have it the right way round without going to check???)

The way I stand at the classroom door and say register task on the board to every child may have you thinking this is a new initiative and they need help remembering this new morning routine. No. In September AAAALLLL those months ago they were shown and told what we do and how we do it in a morning. They are to line up on the whistle. Sorry, that's line up QUIETLY. They file SILENTLY into school SINGLE FILE " One behind the other" ( If I say that a million times a day it's not enough) one girl one boy. This is to lessen chaos on our ancient narrow corridor and to stagger slightly and lessen cloakroom gridlock thus ensuring children reach the classroom in a quiet orderly fashion ready for the school day ahead. SIMPLE>you would agree?
They put their lunch on the lunch trolley ( FILL IT FROM THE BOTTOM PLEASE ) ( They NEVER do) and walk to their desk, unpack their book bag and place book bags in centre of table neatly and commence the register task - usually a cartoony visual maths problem - the teacher then takes the register quickly and then the school lunch register and children can choose which meal they want off the menu that the teacher only has to read out the once, coloured cards are quickly handed out and then teacher says Tables 1 2 and 3 anything to hand in and line up. Children stand quietly, tuck chairs in quietly,, letters homework etc handed into special silver tray and then form quiety orderly line and wait to go to the hall for worship. Table 4,5 & 6 follow suit. Time taken for ANY OTHER CLASS in the whole world to do this? 5 minutes tops. Once they've been trained it almost runs itself.
The current Year 6? It's like the Battle of the Somme EVERY EFFIN DAY!!!! Again, I am not lying.
8.30am - most of the children already in yard
8.45am - teacher goes out on duty
8.55am bell goes - all children stand still ( except Y6 kids)
8.55am Teacher blows whistle and all children WALK to line up in lines of boys and girls and wait quietly for their class teacher to lead them in
9.00am Y6 teacher still waiting for 2 quiet lines
9.03am when most children in a line quickly lead them in. Stop at the wall. Put children in to single file ( ONE BEHIND THE OTHER) set off. Get to next wall . Teacher stops and again calls several children by name to stop talking and get into line. Get to the door. Stoip and wait for quiet again. Teacher leads them into school TAS on corridor maintaining quiet order have to raise voices to Y6. Y6 classroom is the nearest the door yet it's almost ten minutes after the bell when they are coming in the room!!!
Children congregate together chatting, three stepford children ( O god how I heart them) have sat down, emptied their folders, started register task. Class teacher asks Y6 to leave the room, line up and enter like they should. this time we get about 56% compliance. Class then are told they are breaking rule 6 and will have names taken from this point on...( I'll do the rules and Golden Time and out new star challenge tomorrow) so we have quiet to take the register. The lunch menus have to be read out several times. Not all the children put their hands up so we have to have a recount everyday! Invaraibly we are last class to worship everyday. When we get there we get different looks from the other staff mainly ones of 'you poor girls, glad it's not us, smug that it's not us, sympathy been there done that got the t shirt ones too'

I am not exaggerating the level of low level disruption, defiance ( open) rudeness to adults and simple illmanneredness of a lot of these children and now reading r=this back I am disheartened that we have not managed to tame them. The thing is, every single lesson, be it fun, routine or boring bring sthe same apathetic response from them. We keep planning fun, creative lessons to engage them. It is a battle to get them quiet enough to tell them about the fun they can have!! I have suceeded sometimes and they are GREAT at having fun. When you have sorted out the total lack of caring and understanding they show each other in group work. They have NO imagination ( except the Stepfords and EC when he wants) . I cannot understand how they talk to each other so much in class when all they do at playtime is fall out!

It's late and I have rambled on for too long. I can and will tell you more about this class. They are not all bad and I will miss them come July.

EY told me as we were chatting during worship time ( I kept him out to do his register maths) EC was sat at one desk and I was marking some books at another. He just out of the blue as we were chatting about how he needs more sleep said thathe is going to stab Boy X as he annoys him. Just cold words. I said pardon? I thought I'd heard wrong.
EC " I am going to stab him, he annoys me"
Me - " But you can't do that to someone. You will NOT stab anyone you keep your hands to yourself"
EC " But he annoys me"

Me " That is no excuse. what are you going to stab him with?"
EC A pencil, I already have stabbed him with a pen last year in his shoulder"
Me " What happened?"
EC " Nothing" But he stopped annoying me for a while but now he's annoying me again.
Me " You cannot go around hurting people just because they are annoying you. You are old enough to be arrested for assault you know. You DO NOT hurt anyone and keep your hands to yourself"
EC"Well, can you move him away from me?

Me " I can make sure you are sat so you can work with no distractions.

EC " I will stab him though"
Me " Look that is not how to sort things out. What will you do when you are a grown up and someone annoys you. You can't just stab them.
EC " I will just taser gun them"
Me Stunned silnce!
EC " I'm going to be a policeman and I'll have a taser gun.
ME " Well , if you stab someone in school you will have a record and the police won't let you join.
EC" I'm done chatting now Let me get on with this"
I have said for three years that this boy needs to be assessed. I would say he is def high on Autistic Spectrum/Aspergers. His parents won't have it. Despite the fact they said the satff have trouble managing him he is just like his peers. No. He is not. He has no concept of tact or diplomacy and he cannot read those invisible social ettiquette things that enable society to exist. I worry ofr him at High School where his new teachers won't KNOW him and will see his outbursts as rude and ill mannered. If you have a fat bottom he will tell you. It;s the truth. he has no qualms. He never listens. He declares lessons boring. rules should not apply to him . I could go on and on.

Good morning cruel world,
I have already been outside, planting my new blue rose bush and weeded and swept the front like the good Victorian housemama I am. Then because the last day of my freedom allows it, I have breakfasted with cornflakes and facebook.
My dear friend,had had to do that awful task of letting me know her mum died on Easter Sunday. I thought about her mum last night before I was going to bed and the news wasn't a surprise. She had been in hospital a while and the ward sister had had the chat and then we were able to discuss it over vodka and I think it helped a little. However, even though you know something is going to happen it still hurts like crazy when it does and I am lucky enough to still have both parents but I type this with tears prickling in my nose and throat for my friend. Here is a hug for all those cliches we discussed. <<<<0000>>>>
So, if your mama is still here make sure you give them an extra bit of love today because you do not know when there'll be that time when you can't. xx

Friday, 22 April 2011

Well, Thursday was pretty good - spending it on the beach with my beloveds. Photos later.Then I looked at my sister's new blog and wanted to weep at what she wrote for her profile piece.

"I am a short and slightly (but soon to be put right) overweight thirty something. I have caught the blogging bug from my even shorter nearer forty sister. She is right in saying that mum is always right and why oh why do I catch my self saying the very same things I hated hearing as a child. I have travelled the world a bit (well if you call europe and the states the world) and in my short life have been married, divorced and finally settled down with my loverly Danny and we have 4 unbelievably gorgeous children. I used to be a Bank Manager, but got out before Banking went bad and I am now a FTM (full time mum)and it is the best full time job in the world. My big but shorter sister is my best friend and has shared so much with me, mainly the pains of childbirth and the angst of poor Harry's predicament. I hope I can repay the favour one day"

Lisa, you don't EVER have to repay the favour. It's not a favour - it's just how it is! If you go lookee please say nice things!

Today brings more sunshine - I shall not be doing the ultimate thigh workout that is sand dune climbing. I shall be mostly doing my favourite thing which is sitting on my arse outside! I have some new purple flowers to plant and may need to replant some sprouts as the slugs have all but two - the slimy low down little bastards.
Catch up with folks later when I have uploaded pics.
Rachel :) xx

Monday, 18 April 2011

Good Morning everyone! It's going to be a lovely day. I woke up to find a zillion pics of me had been posted!! I cannot believe how short I am until I have my picture took against - I used to call them giants - but alas, the truth is they are just normal sized people! If I show you a pic on my own I think I look tall enough....

<<<<<<<<<that is the top of my head! The rest of the space is not taken up by my brains but by what actually my brains are like - lots of fluffy wadding!

Today I get back on my OPTW quest. I have been struggling of late but am renewed in the fact that I have NOT LONG LEFT AT ALL till F day. Gulp. Everyone wants me to have a party - but I really do wanna let it slip by!

Today I shall be mostly outside again, Some yellow headed beasts escaped the Dandecull and it wasn't quite as warm as I'd like yesterady.

I only have today and tomorrow left of my hols to myself as Mr Radiostar takes a long well deserved rest from Wednesday till after the wedding!!

I might have something interesting to write about then! Don't think we are going camping but if I get my act together I might just book us a sneaky cheap travel lodge somewhere in this gorgeous counrty of ours that we have never been to! I am really feeling the need to visit a stately home - not been to one in aaaaaages!

Sunday, 17 April 2011

After being able to cuddle baby H forever yesterday I feel even more protective and love for him. Chicken Pox will kill him, so if any of you have it, or come in contact please read this with protective clothing on or something!!

The New York themed 40th was brilliant!! As one of the male ( he was classed somewhat as a heart throb back in the day) quipped...it's like standing outside M&S at 3.30pm again!!! As most of us who were there were all at School together! Mainly brough together again by Facebook. And for that I love it! Was a great night, King Kong was there complete with the Empire State Building, a Big Apple turned up. Star of the show was Marylin Monroe birthday girl. Her husband was the Mustard Bottle to my hotdog (photos to follow I promise!). There were a whole heap of Noo Yoik cops, Andy Warhol came as did someone out of Kiss!! The food was great ( I took american stylee hotwings) the drink was a flowing and I did get tipsy!! But not rip roaringly out of it as some bright spark - me - had booked the car in for it's MOT at 8.30am!!!Who does that on a Saturday morning? Esp after THE ONLY NIGHT OUT SO FAR THIS YEAR!!!

Today I am about to go out into the garden. I have more veggies to plant and dandelions to evict from my lawn.
Bike shed is NEARLY done!! Well, all the blocks are in situ. We need ( I love how I say we here when infact Mr Radiostar takes full credit) a window and a roof on it, oh and a door...so one might think the word nearly is a bit ambitious!!

Thursday, 14 April 2011

Harry had a comfortable night. They are now home. Thank you to everyone who has posted well wishes. Now the immediate furore has passed, the awfulness of not knowing, what iffing and lets look up the bad things on the internet we are all moving forwards. I slept through last night - something I haven't done in weeks! So for now, even though I will keep updating - I think I'd like to slide back into relative blog obscurity just rambling away to myself about nothing!

Today I had a blast with my good friend who is bravely holding her 40th birthday party at her house! New York is the fancy dress theme and I am going as a ......HOT DOG!!! Got my costume and I can honestly say it's almost as flattering as the space hopper costume I wore to my friend's 70s themed wedding last year! I love the anonimity fancy dress gives and all that horrible ( I do it too) pulling to bits of each other that us girls do. Even those of you who will scoff and scorn and say
"Not I said the fly"
do it.

So I have put up banners, balloons, shifted furniture and entertained three small children in the car whilst she enjoyed a 45 minute long "nip" into Sainsburys!! We played eye spy.First with things, then with numbers and finally with colours. Alex Murphy ( who ALWAYS gets his full name - but he did say to me that I could just call him Alex, he didn't mind) would say a letter and no matter what my guess was - I was alrighys right! He is five. He will be eight next year he told me solemnly!!
I introduced them to a new game. What am I?
Me. I have 4 legs
Alex Murphy : No you don't!
Me: I have a tail
Alex Murphy ( in giggles) No you don't!
Me: I am grey
Alex Murphy: No you are not
Me: I have big ears
Alex Murphy: UTTER SILENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Elise: You are an elephant! Play again! So I was a zebra, then a cat then Alex wanted a turn...
Alex Murphy: I have 6 legs, I have 3 eyes, I have 8 arms and a trunk on my back. What am I?
Was a very charming afternoon! Thankfully my friend wasn't TOO long after that!

Wednesday, 13 April 2011

Just about now, if everything is going to schedule, Harry will be on his way to theatre.
Today he will be having his central line fitted, a lumbar puncture and a bone marrow biopsy. My sister said it will take about two hours in total. If all goes well, he will start his Chemotherapy later on today and she will be home tomorrow.
She has to be there on her own as they have a strict one visitor only at all times policy - I can see why, lessening risk of infection etc but it's very hard knowing she is there on her own. Fortunately ( or not actually) there are plenty of others just like her and I hope she is making friends as I type. The nurses and blinking FANTASTIC and she said they are so lovely and brilliant.

I just told her about all the messages of love and prayers from everyone on my last post! She will look later if she can get online. I told her to wrestle any small children to the ground to get online if she has to!! It will help her pass the time whilst he is in theatre!

I know - let's have a photo of Harry for you all to coo over!

Well I haven't yet heard anything from Manchester so am hoping, even though there was a slight delay that all is going as well as it should.

Tuesday, 12 April 2011

My darling, sweet innocent little nephew Harry, yes you've met him before - the one I helped out into this world, now beings the fight of his life.
Last week, after days and weeks of agonising what iffing, his mama was told the devastating news that he has
Retinoblastoma.
The news hit us like the tsunami hit Japan - non stop endless waves of heart cruching pain. Of course I looked it up on google and of course I found all the bad, scary stuff. But with time for reflection and the guidance of the excellent medical professionals, although the future is hard and may seem bleak - we are headed off into the distance on a journey that WILL be successful and he will be OK. I know it.

Thursday, 7 April 2011

Today is Year 1 day - O how those little folks make my heart sing! Today Miss Radiostar was leading them gently on from talking about rules last week to the law this week and all the things that will happen should they break the law and get themselves arrested, go to court and be sent . To. Jail.
( I honestly left out the bits about TV and games consoles, ensuite rooms, three good meals a day, education, free gym facilities and work should they choose to ).

They were all solemn faced as they promised me they'd not break the law and they would not go to prison when they grow up! They are frankly AMAZED that when they are grown up they will get the AWESOME ( their words) moniker of " Citizen" They are so funny - but the one who finished me off ( and some of you, if you read the post a while back of things they want to do when they grow up) was a little boy who wanted to tell me what happened if you broke the law. He held his hands up to me, wrists together,
( I knew he was going to talk about handcuffs)
and said
" I know what happens when the policeman catches the robins breaking the law"

O MAN him and his robins. I was ROFLMBFAO ON THE INSIDE! Picturing a tiny little bird in tiny little handcuffs ( I will google image this just to satisfy my own needs)

Nope - nothing doing so here is a picture of a robin instead - imagine your own cuffs on the little fiend.

Wednesday, 6 April 2011

am watching enthralled Lambing Live on BBC2. I say live....it's recorded and I'm reet glad, I can fast forward through the apologies about the break in programme due to the foul weather!LAMBING LIVE - Everything you need to know

This looks slightly undignified!

Shall go a gambolling later on?

They don't say " maaaaaaa" for nothing!

So, when I grow up I think I'd like to be a sheep farmer.
Two nasty get ups left before the Spring Break .
Two nasty get ups before things will become crystal.

About Me

I am small,round,squishy and Northern. Quite frankly I cannot believe I'm in my 40s so soon.I can remember sitting in assembly at Junior School being asked the question I wonder what we'd be doing in the year 2000?I recall imaging it would NEVER get here.Gulp.It was over a decade ago.
I love to walk,tweet,knit,read,laze about,watch TV - all of it! cook,bake,garden,spend time with my kids & HG - Hunter Gatherer! We've been engaged for 23years-I'm never sure what to call him now-fiance implies we are to be married!I love Twitter and Blogland. I have extended medical knowledge from years of watching ER FROM THE BEGINNING{and I am still not sure I am over it finishing}.I LOVE my job.I hate all Sofa adverts with a passion - I believe that the DFS sale WILL NOT end when the world does. I love to comment on other people's blogs! A lot!

Welcome one and all. Pull up a chair by the fireside and join in the fun!

It's MY blog and I'll write what I want to, write what I want to, write what I want to - you would write too if it happened to youuuuu!

* PLEASE NOTE the names I use in my stories about mywork are FALSE names. This isto protect the identity of my inspirations.The stories, however are ALL true.*

I love to get feedback and comments and read YOUR experiences linked to my posts! I don't employ the evil that is Capitcha - although of course I do look at them before they are published. Owt nasty won't get in.

If you don't like what you are reading -tough! I would ask that you simply DON'T READ IT.

Here's Harry's Page CLICK THE PHOTO TO ACCESS THE LINK

Harry is my youngest nephew. ( I have six altogether out of ten nieces and nephews ) and not only is he super special because I was the midwife as his birth, but he is super special because even though he is fighting cancer of the eyes - BILATERAL RETINOLBLASTOMA, he is doing it with a huge smile. I l ove him so much, he is squishy, snuggy, adorable and gurgly! Please have a read, donate if you can and SHARE it around xx THANK YOU