Sometimes when a comedian performs, he gets an additional payment he wasn't counting on. For example, I always take the free food offered by a venue. That way I feel like I got paid more. You know? And honestly, if it saves a 15 dollar tab at a place for wings and cheese sticks, it actually is like getting paid more.

One church I recently performed at took this to an entirely new level. When I was on my way to the car, this nice lady asked if I wanted to take some left over red velvet cake with me. Out of habit, I blurted out, "Of course."

Below is what she came back with from the kitchen. And yes... yes I ate it all on the four hour drive home... in fifteen minute increments.

From coach to comedian: Marty Simpson is a former USA Today high school All-American and collegiate Academic All-Conference player for USC who scored the Gamecocks' first 6 points in the SEC. During 8 years as a high school varsity coach, Simpson led his team to the state finals and saw one player advance to set an NFL rookie record. Simpson now divides his time between his family, running a multimedia company named Blue-Eyed Panda and getting the same pre-game jitters by performing stand-up comedy nationwide.