BAGHDAD - In the heart of Baghdad's Green Zone, just yards from the
mighty fortress of the biggest U.S. embassy in the world, a small but
symbolic challenge to America's rapidly waning influence in Iraq is
taking shape in the form of an Iranian ice cream parlor. Ice Pack, an
aggressive new franchise that proclaims its intent to challenge U.S.
fast-food hegemony worldwide, will open its Green Zone branch in
January.

... Simply by being next door, Iran wields
leverage in Iraq that the United States cannot hope to enjoy. Hundreds
of thousands of Iranians visit Iraq's holy Shiite shrines every year,
Iranian goods flow freely across the border and Iraqi politicians are
acutely aware that they will have to continue dealing with Iran, with
which Iraq fought an eight-year war in the 1980s, long after U.S. troops
have gone home.

... Meanwhile, as Ice Pack expands across Iraq, there are no plans to open Baghdad branches
of McDonald's, Starbucks, Burger King or any of the other U.S. brand
names that are entrenched in most other countries in the region.

Sly
is careful to note that "Iranian-made ice cream is a lesser threat to U.S.
officials than the Iranian-made rockets, fired by Iranian-trained and
funded militias, that periodically crash into the embassy and its
environs." That may be true, but if Iran adds "yellowcake" to its list of flavors, we expect
the CIA to begin treating Iranian ice cream as the top-level security
threat it clearly is. In the meantime, perhaps someone can engineer a Stuxnet-like virus to send Iran's ice cream makers spinning out of control?