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When do I tell my 4th grader about sex, abstinence, you know all the birds and bees info. Also how far should the talk go?

Posted on Apr 15th, 2013 at 6:15 AM by wendy

I just read an article about how "christian" music isn't really important. I know that much of what is written for Christians is trite, and not award-worthy, but I still would rather have my kids singing out "Shout to the north and the south~sing to the east and the west" or "Our God is greater, Our God is healer awesome and power"---than "Pour some sugar on me" "Do me" or some trash from a gangsta group or worse...
What do you all think?

Posted on Apr 15th, 2013 at 10:21 AM by Donna L.

Totally agree, Donna! Even if contemporary Christian music doesn't end up doing a whole lot to evangelize, other types of music has the potential to do a lot of harm.

Posted on Apr 15th, 2013 at 11:26 AM by Claire S

If we listen to music, it is Christian music. I don;t have to worry about monitoring the lyrics. The kids listen and sing - the rhythm is good. I can;t stand muchof the contemporary modern music. I think the music is getting better and better.

Posted on Apr 15th, 2013 at 12:45 PM by nadine

Wendy, I would probably give your child a book to read on his/her own first, and then schedule time together to talk about it. I think it's important that you think of this as an ongoing conversation, not a once-in-a-childhood talk. I like the "God's Design for Sex" series of books by Brenna and Stan Jones, although we have not followed their age recommendations. Their book for parents ("How and When to Tell Your Kids About Sex") is also very helpful. Good luck!

Posted on Apr 15th, 2013 at 12:52 PM by Anne in NC

I have a 4th grader, too, and I've only doled out information as he's asked or needed to know. I hope that we are teaching the principles of the theology of the body to him by how we live and what we say so that he respects his body, women, and his relationship with Christ. That's where he is getting his information on the nature of sacramental marriage and its importance. The time will come for specifics, but for our son, I don't think we're there yet.
As far as music goes, I think there's a place for all of it - Christian and secular (excluding, of course, lyrics that are vulgar or obscene). I don't think there's any harm to cheesy pop music, Christian or otherwise. I think of it like a healthy diet. I hope my kids are getting a nice balance with exposure to classical, folk, sacred, jazz, rock, country, pop, etc. There's room for some junk in there - not that Christian music is junk. Some is very good, and the some that isn't so good is ok, too. I enjoy the Vacation Bible School cds they bring home, too!

Posted on Apr 15th, 2013 at 1:06 PM by Carolyn A

Wendy - Every family is going to be different when they think it's time for the Birds and the Bees. I think it can be done later with boys since they develop later than girls but if they are in school, sometimes sooner is better so you can get there before peers do. Because I homeschool and am able to control what my kids are exposed to, I did not have the talk with my oldest son until he was 14 (summer after eighth grade) and he was still shocked since he had been so sheltered. He had just started puberty. We used the "Joyful Mysteries of Life" text. Theology of the Body is ongoing.

Posted on Apr 15th, 2013 at 2:24 PM by Monica (momof2)

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