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Tuesday, December 20, 2011

This seems to be my theme in life. Growing up I had my whole life planned out, as most little girls do. How many children I was going to have, my wedding day, where I was going to live, what I was going to be when I grew up, etc.
I did get married, have children, live in some beautiful places and have wonderful careers, but none of it was what I planned. I've made some very wonderful choices in my life and I've made some not so wonderful choices in my life.

"WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE MY LIFE? I KNOW I'M NOT PERFECT AND I DON'T LIVE TO BE, BUT, BEFORE YOU START POINTING FINGERS MAKE SURE YOUR HANDS ARE CLEAN." Bob Marley

Finally, being of middle age status. I have really stepped back and taken a look at my life. One of my biggest challenges in life has been having to accept the fact, that I'm not always in control of my life, but I am in control of how I deal each situation.

This week my daughter was a perfect example of teaching me how to deal with something we cannot control. I'm so proud of her.

One of her school friends took his life. This was the first time she has experienced death and having it be someone her own age was especially hard for her. In life we expect our elders to die. Everyone is born and everyone dies when they get old, but it's always hard when it's a child and, to have it be a child who took his life, it's just not natural, and I struggled all week with how to explain this to my daughter. Her school had counselors there all week to talk to the students struggling with this tragic death. I kept imagining what if it had been my child and I could only feel for the parents that were having to deal with this tragedy in their life. My daughter came home the first 3 days from school and went straight to bed, I know she was overwhelmed with feelings that she wasn't sure how to process at the age of 13. I hesitated to let her go to the viewing, but chose to take her. It was a part of death she needed to see and experience and to realize how all our choices in life have consequences. As miserable as this young boy was at his age, I doubt he thought about the pain he was going to put his family and friends through, and I felt it was important for her to learn that in life our choices don't only affect us, our choices affect everyone around us. She went to the funeral the following day, and when I came home from work I had planned all day to take her to dinner and do something positive with her so she wasn't depressed, To my surprise when I came home she and her friends were making bracelets to hand out to all the kids in school asking for donations, so they could start up a charity for unhappy teens and the importance of staying alive. I can't express the pride I had in my daughter at that very moment. She learned more than I ever dreamed. She taught me that day about integrity and how proud I am of the young woman she is becoming. All week I was concerned about her and here she was concerned about others and making a difference. She bounced back better than EVER!

"IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW MANY DAYS ARE IN YOUR LIFE, BUT, HOW MUCH LIFE IS IN YOUR DAY".Anonymous

I have so much to be Thankful for. What I've realized over this holiday season is how humbled and thankful I am for my family and to have them with me during this holiday season all healthy, happy, and ALIVE!

There is always something to be learned through are trials, and sometimes we even become humbled through someone else's trials.

I wish for everyone to have a Holiday Season that is full of blessings and gratitude.