Arsenal supporters throughout the universe trust your captain and take my advice, RELAX, today’s match result will have no impact on anything of significance. What! I can hear your outrage fellow gooners. Has our captain gone mad? No, far from it, it’s just that being of sound mind and logic (even if that is my own layman’s opinion) has enabled me to reach the above conclusion based on the following:

We finish 4th and qualify for the Champions League:

So what? Does anyone really believe we will win it next season? Not me.

We get additional monies the competition generates. What does that mean to us supporters? Nothing, ticket prices stay sky-high and the monies are not properly reinvested into the team. From what I can make out it goes on the Manager, the CEO and a few privileged share holders.

We can attract better players, players of Champions League quality. Problem with that is that any player valued over 15 million is immediately out of our price range. What player of champions league quality is going to be worth less and going to make any real difference? For those that need help, no fcuker!

4th place is a trophy! Only in the deluded mind of those desperate enough to excuse their failure, certainly not for one of the richest clubs in the world.

Finish above the Spuds. How sad that our standards have fallen so low that our success is measured on how well we do against them. Of course its good for the banter but yet so sad that for some our season comes down to this.

Therefore dear gooners, I put it to you that if we finish 5th it will make no real difference, if anything it might be a bonus as we will enter a European tournament that we might be good enough to win. As for the Manager, he will not be sacked for finishing 5th, nor will he resign. In fact, come what may, it would not surprise me if he is awarded an extended contract in the off-season.

Now get to the bar or your fridge and get the beers flowing. Try to enjoy the game and resign yourself to the mediocrity that now plagues Arsenal Football Club.