Part of that I think has to be some kind of self-defense mechanism that's built in to ensure that we don't get hurt anymore. It's stupid, since we should all just grow up and deal with life, but we're not always that smart.

_________________Even if you met the most perfect person in the world, who had everything you ever thought you wanted in someone, you would still find something about him that you didn’t like.

I just noticed a message Kell sent me like 6 months ago on Facebook asking me to come back so yeah, how have you guys been over the last 3 years?

it's been good lol. plenty of chapters in the stories to catch up on since then. there's been some ups & downs with us. i lost reilly, people have gone in & out of relationships, but all in all, i think we're all still pretty good. the site is quiet lately because i havent posted anything lol. i probably wont post again until the school year is over. i cant bring myself to work on a chapter knowing that i could instead be using that time to catch up on work, u know?

I just noticed a message Kell sent me like 6 months ago on Facebook asking me to come back so yeah, how have you guys been over the last 3 years?

it's been good lol. plenty of chapters in the stories to catch up on since then. there's been some ups & downs with us. i lost reilly, people have gone in & out of relationships, but all in all, i think we're all still pretty good. the site is quiet lately because i havent posted anything lol. i probably wont post again until the school year is over. i cant bring myself to work on a chapter knowing that i could instead be using that time to catch up on work, u know?

so whats been up with u?

For starters, sorry to hear about Reilly. :/

Let's see, since June 2011, I moved to Nevada, that was fun for a while but didn't really work out, so after that I went up to Minnesota where I'm living now. Went back to school, working on a criminal justice degree, should be finished next year.

Excitement. I get to present at an education conference in about an hour. This will be the first time ever that I've been a presenter and not just a spectator at this kind of event, so I am very very pleased.

And terrified.

_________________Even if you met the most perfect person in the world, who had everything you ever thought you wanted in someone, you would still find something about him that you didn’t like.

I was out of place at the conference, in that my presentation on the effects of homophobia/transphobia on youth participation in athletics was not really applicable to how we investigate our practices as teachers and improve on how to teach. People were interested, and especially interested in how it would apply to their own classrooms, but for the most part people weren't able to understand why it was relevant to them.

As for the political meeting, I absolutely hate performing in front of a crowd. If it's something like a song I'm performing I can lose myself in the music a bit and it becomes a little easier for me to get over my nerves. But yesterday was just giving a speech so there was no music to help with, and the stakes were significantly higher. These people are the ones who will decide whether or not I win the nomination and get to be the next candidate for the party, and for many of them this was their first impression of me as a candidate, as opposed to the guy who does grunt work on a volunteer basis.To make a long story shorter, I flubbed it. I forgot some key parts of my biography and stuttered over my words. I didn't provide a real rationale for why I should be the candidate and I didn't do very much to show that I know what I'm doing. I still hope to meet with everyone individually and in person, but this was a poor start to a somewhat hostile room.

_________________Even if you met the most perfect person in the world, who had everything you ever thought you wanted in someone, you would still find something about him that you didn’t like.

like with all people who give public speeches, youll obviously do better. and if these peeps got anything really special & good about them, theyll look past that & actually focus on ur points. but i agree with the one on one probably being a better strategy. i know for a fact thats at least what id feel most comfortable doing rather than big speeches xP lol

I definitely agree that I'll get better with my speeches as I do this more often, and yesterday was definitely not the important day. I'll need to have a speech firmly memorized for the actual nomination day, but until then I'm going to free-wheel it and just let my mouth wander off and say whatever it ends up saying when I'm doing smaller meetings.For these one on one meetings I think it's going to be fine; I know the policies and materials better than almost anyone in the area, so I can certainly hold my own, especially now that my research team has confirmed my plans would work. Ah well, lots of time to get better, and if I lose this year then I'll still have learned a lot and will have contributed to something bigger than myself.

What's new for you Kellster?

_________________Even if you met the most perfect person in the world, who had everything you ever thought you wanted in someone, you would still find something about him that you didn’t like.

finals. cramming everything thats also late into these last several days of the semester xP

im craving so many things lately in sooo many ways. ive already said that until im done with this semester, i wont be writing but thats soon. i also feel like instantly starting up a couple new stories, re-do my blog into a more upscale, professional personal journal sort of thing, i wanna start doing lots of swimming, maybe some running & general exercise over this summer, i wanna read lots of great literature books, etc. just feel antsy lately lol

Sounds like you've got a case of wanderlust or just a desire to do something else. Whatever it is you're doing now is obviously not satisfying you the way you thought it would, and it's making you want to do all these other things that are different so you can grow and see what fits you better.

Kinda like taking half the store with you to the changeroom each year to see what trends fit you and which need to go away forever :p

_________________Even if you met the most perfect person in the world, who had everything you ever thought you wanted in someone, you would still find something about him that you didn’t like.

as of 2 days ago, there is no longer anything on it lol. i deleted my posts because i didnt like them & i wanna redo it with a more "professional" feel to it, though im not entirely sure what i even mean by that

heres the link to my blog anyway. as with my stories, i dont exactly update it all that...frequently

maybe we can kickstart this thread since its been dead for so long (my fault) haha

lets see, heres whats going on with me. im back in school & this semester for me is crazy since im in 5 classes, im working 3 jobs as security on campus, desk receptionist on campus & security at a sports stadium near my home, im on my school's judicial board & im trying to get on the university safety commission

i actually had 4 exams this past week & im pretty sure i totally flunked 2 of them & did okayish on the other 2 xP

maybe we can kickstart this thread since its been dead for so long (my fault) haha

lets see, heres whats going on with me. im back in school & this semester for me is crazy since im in 5 classes, im working 3 jobs as security on campus, desk receptionist on campus & security at a sports stadium near my home, im on my school's judicial board & im trying to get on the university safety commission

i actually had 4 exams this past week & im pretty sure i totally flunked 2 of them & did okayish on the other 2 xP

Wow Kell! You're really busy, no wonder it takes awhile to get your oh so good chapters!

I actually just got a promotion at my main job, which had the effect of quadrupling my hours for the next couple of weeks. I'm increasing the number of tutoring clients at my second job, and I start training at a third job later in the month. On top of that I'm preparing for my teaching practicum and writing my master's thesis research proposal in order to obtain government funding for the research I'm hopefully doing next year as part of my first graduate degree.

Oh, and last week I got dumped. So I'm extra glad to have lots to do so that I don't have to think about it too much. Don't feel too bad for me, the worst of it is over now and I'm trying to establish somewhat normalized friendships with the now-ex.

_________________Even if you met the most perfect person in the world, who had everything you ever thought you wanted in someone, you would still find something about him that you didn’t like.