Perhaps by starting with a rough outline of what you would like to say, everyone can offer suggestions on structure and wording. "Polite reminder email" feels a bit broad and I wouldn't know where to start except to say "be polite." Admittedly, that wouldn't be very helpful.
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Robert Cartaino♦Feb 3 '11 at 17:20

Just a note: If this question were asked now, it might well be closed as off-topic. (It's not asking what to write, exactly, but those are the answers it's generating.)
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Neil Fein♦May 30 '14 at 5:59

Seems slightly informal and slightly too passive to me. I'd go with "Hello" rather than "Hi". "I'm just emailing to check that the XXX" rather than "Just checking that the XXX" and "Can you please tell me" rather than "Can you let me know". I'd also always use "Kind regards" rather than "Thanks". Thanks is used when someone has given you something. Here you are asking for something instead.
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PandaApr 4 '11 at 9:32

You need a new line after "Dear xxx", and possibly change "please" to "could you please" depending on your relationship. Ie, is this a request or an order? Also "Regards" may be "Kind regards" depending again on relationship. Generally "Regards" if you have a closer relationship and "Kind regards" if not. Otherwise, well worded.
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PandaApr 4 '11 at 9:53

1

The missing line break baffles me, it's there when I try to edit my post and I inserted one when I wrote it. Same goes for the line break that should be there after "Regards." - As far as using "regards", I was striving for a little less formality. Personal taste.
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Lynn BeighleyApr 4 '11 at 17:36

You know that they're the one who is dragging their feet. Pretend like you were instead. Frame the message in terms of "I must have missed an email somewhere, sorry" rather than "why haven't you sent me an email?"

This lets them take the action you want without accepting blame for the delay, which for some people is psychologically important.

I very much disagree with this. While, yes, you want to help them meet their psychological needs (cf Maslow), by apologising you are basically giving away your position, doing the animial equivilent of lying down, showing your belly and submitting. All you are likely to do here is expose yourself as weak and encourage further delay. You are much better being assertive and warm. The two are not mutually exclusive.
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PandaApr 14 '11 at 2:17

Well, makes sure you're clear what you're asking about and don't assume they have the same information that you do. If you're following up on a submission make sure you tell them the title of the story and when you sent it off. It's possible that lost/misplaced your submission so this information well help them find your work. Just remember to give them enough time to reply, I usually suggest waiting twice the listed average response time.

Here's one I've actually sent in the past. It's a little bit to terse but I was quickly banging it out, but it does cover the very basics.

I'm just sending in a query for the
submission "Changing the Way" I sent
it in on the 5th of October 2009. I do
not believe I have yet to receive a
response.

I did get a quick response back on this. It turns out that they had misplaced it and quickly found it once I asked.

Note on usage: if you 'do not believe' you 'have yet to receive' that means you have indeed received a response. Just sayin'.
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atroonFeb 3 '11 at 20:20

1

The wording here is a little off. "I'm just sending in a query" is not correct, "This is a query" is more accurate. The second sentance should be "I have yet to recieve a response", although that's slightly passive-agressive, so "I don't believe I have recieved a response yet" is better. But also crucially you need to ask them what you want them to do, so it should end with "Can you please update me on the status of my submission?" or similar.
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PandaApr 4 '11 at 9:45

Too informal and too passive. It's also a bit of a social lie. You haven't "just been checking your mail". It's also a question they can't actually answer. You are asking them if it looks like you didn't get a response. How do they know what your mailbox looks like? You should be asking them what you want them to do. Business communication should be direct, polite, respectful and sincere.
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PandaApr 4 '11 at 9:37

Too informal, not appropriate for professional communication, I guess.
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Subin SebastianSep 30 '13 at 14:43

Good answer, except I would remove "Have a nice day Sir." and "I remain at your disposal" (but keep the rest of the sentence, just rephrase for grammar). Also, include a greeting at the top. Otherwise, fine. +1
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Ellie KesselmanJan 7 '12 at 22:05