Best known in the UK for his eclectic – and award-winning – BBC6 show, during AN EVENING WITH HUEY MORGAN the charismatic radio presenter and Fun Lovin’ Criminals singer / guitarist will be playing songs from his band’s back catalogue and from his 2012 solo album SAY IT TO MY FACE. In this new interview with The Mouth Magazine, the conversational powerhouse and charismatic wise-guy talks about the forthcoming show and reflects on what it means to have been in the Fun Lovin’ Criminals family for over two decades. He holds forth on a variety of musical subjects including the importance of wide tastes and the worth of his favourite band The Clash – and remembers what it was like to hang out with Joe Strummer. He also reveals what actually happened in that infamous 2013 episode of the BBC TV panel show NEVER MIND THE BUZZCOCKS…

ARE YOU IN LONDON?
I’m not. I’m out at my country house in Somerset. It’s a nice crispy Fall day and I’m in the mannex out the back of the house…

I HAVEN’T GOT A MANNEX BUT I’VE GOT RELATIVES IN WILTSHIRE… NEAR BOX…
Yeah, I know Box. It’s literally a stone’s throw from me… They got themselves a new tunnel there. They’re all up in arms about this new tunnel… Hang on… Let me just put you on speaker, here – I’m holding the phone up to my head and my wife says to me “Don’t do that”. And you know you got to listen to your wife, man…

… YOU’LL FRY YOUR BRAIN…
If my head fries… I’m 47, I can deal with it. Everything else is fried anyway, you know what I’m saying?

IT’S A BIT EARLY IN THE MORNING FOR THAT ISN’T IT?Hell no, bro’… I got a four year old and a three week old – so my day starts at dawn. I’m an early riser, man.

IT’S BEEN FIVE YEARS SINCE CLASSIC FANTASTIC, THE LAST FUN LOVIN’ CRIMINALS ALBUM… AND YOU HAVE PLANS TO RECONVENE NEXT YEAR TO CELEBRATE THE TWENTIETH ANNIVERSARY OF COME FIND YOURSELF…Yeah, it’s actually pretty cool ‘cos when we tour we’re gonna be doing the debut album from start to finish – and this is probably the only time in those twenty years that we’re gonna have to rehearse… Ha ha… We’ve played all those songs in the past but not in album order. So now it’s like “We’ve got to play them in the right fucking order?”… Jesus.

I DID WONDER WHAT THE PLANS WERE – WHETHER COME FIND YOURSELF MIGHT BE REISSUED… EXTRA MATERIAL, ALL THE BODIES OUT FROM UNDER THE FLOORBOARDS…Ha ha ha, yeah. We’re gonna be doing a reissue and we’re just getting it sorted with the label. I think everything’s, like, “Go!” now. Well, as far as I know… I’ve had my head down for a while ‘cos I just had a baby girl so I’ve been in family land. It’s weird to actually talk business with anybody, ha ha ha…

… THEY HAVEN’T HAD A ‘TAKE YOUR BABY TO WORK DAY’ AT THE RECORD LABEL?Ha ha ha… Well, you know what? My son wants to be a drummer – unfortunately. Frankie (Benbini) put him on drums once at a festival. I thought my kid would be scared out of his mind with all those people watching him play drums but he was, like, “Yeah, this is cool, man. Whatever”…

… BORN TO IT!Yeah, but hopefully we’ll get him onto a guitar soon or a piano or somethin’… I mean, come on – a drummer?
DO YOU KNOW WHO RUUD GULLIT IS?
Yeah yeah…

HE WAS A TELEVISION PUNDIT FOR A WORLD CUP MATCH SEVERAL YEARS AGO AND MADE SOME COMMENT ABOUT GOALKEEPERS BEING GOALKEEPERS BECAUSE THEY CAN’T ACTUALLY PLAY FOOTBALL…
Ha ha ha, yeah… Well, I got one of the best drummers in the world, though. Frankie’s been with us, like, twelve or thirteen years actually. He’s one of the best I’ve ever played with… He does all types of other stuff, too – he’s a songwriter, he’s a musician… But he’s still a drummer though, ha ha.

I SPOKE TO FRANK LAST YEAR (here) ABOUT HIS ALBUM OF REGGAE VERSIONS OF PRINCE SONGS…Yeah, that’s right. His band is out right now opening up for UB40. That’s a good tour for them.

WHAT DID YOU MAKE OF THAT RECORD, PURPLE REGGAE?
I thought it was a great idea. My main inclination was “Dude – Prince is gonna sue your ass”. But eventually they got permission from The Purple One. I loved the way they took his songs and they made them reggae, so instead of guitar solos there were these trombone solos and stuff going on. When you listen to it you can tell Frank is a great musician, a great singer and all that.

… AND YOU CAN TELL HE HAD A GOOD TIME MAKING THAT RECORD…Oh yeah, yeah. He’s like Viv Savage from THIS IS SPINAL TAP, man… Frank has a good time all of the time… If you’re ever feeling bummed out just go hang with Frankie for a little bit. Ha ha.

DO YOU EVER FEEL INCLINED TO DO WHAT HE DID – MAKE A RECORD JUST FOR THE FUCK OF IT?Man, you know what? I did. And no-one really noticed…

… SAY IT TO MY FACE BY HUEY AND THE NEW YORKERS, IN 2012…Yeah. It was a lot of fun making that record. Frank played drums on it and did a lot of vocals and stuff and his friend Naim Cortazzi from the band Uncle Frank was also on the record. And this gig I’m doing soon…

… THE ONE-OFF SHOW AT CANARY WHARF, IN NOVEMBER…
Yeah… The other guys from the New Yorkers record are all coming out to do this gig, they’re all gonna be playing. Pete Levin – who’s now out with the Gregg Allmann band and used to be with The Blind Boys Of Alabama – is the keyboard player. And my boy King on bass. And Fast is actually gonna be DJing on the night. So it’s like the Fun Lovin’ Criminals posse are going to be in the house. It’s a family thing. Everyone from the Fun Lovin’ Criminals extended family is gonna be there – and from our actual families as well… It’s gonna be great, it’s gonna be a lot of fun, man…

BEFORE WE TALK A BIT MORE ABOUT THE CANARY WHARF GIG… WHAT WAS IN THE NEW YORKERS ALBUM FOR YOU, THAT YOU COULDN’T GET FROM DOING SOMETHING WITH FUN LOVIN’ CRIMINALS?I was looking back at all the music that I loved, and I guess it had something to do with doing the radio shows. I was writing these songs that were obviously not Fun Lovin’ Criminals songs. They were very genre specific, you know? There was country, there was beat-funk… Stuff that transcended the Criminals. So I had these songs and I was talking to Fast about it and he said “Why don’t you just do a record, dude?”, and I was like “Err… I’m not quitting the band or anything”… I mean, you don’t actually quit FLC. It’s like the Mafia – there’s only one way out…

… HA HA HA…It’s true, man. So I started putting basic tracks down in my studio and started calling up my friends. I sent them stuff via e-mail and they’d do their tracks and send them back, and I got ’em all together with the help of Tim Latham, who worked on all the Fun Lovin’ Criminals records with us. He polished it all up, mixed it and mastered it. It’s a really cool process – being a globetrotter I go from New York to England to New York quite often but it’s very rare that I get in a studio with my guys, my boys. I didn’t really expect anything much from it – it was more just a good excuse to hang out with my friends again.

THERE WERE SOME GREAT PHOTOS FOR THAT ALBUM…
Yeah, Danny Clinch. He did that really iconic shot of Tupac with the floodlights, back in the day. For Rolling Stone magazine? He ended up doing all the photography for the record – but get this… He’s also a harmonica player in this blues band that we put together in New York. I play in it, I play lap-steel, I don’t even sing in that group. Actually King, who plays bass in the New Yorkers, is the singer in that band. So that’s how the photos with Danny came about. The whole thing was just calling up buddies and saying “Hey, do you wanna get down with this stuff?” and it was really great. We were all of us exploring our musical education, I suppose – like, what made us the musicians we are today? It was a lot of fun for us to do and it exorcised a lot of demons in me. And it made me realise why I love being in the Fun Lovin’ Criminals.

… WHICH IS?
Because we can do all this different kind of stuff in one song, but it’s not thought through, you know? It’s not a preconceived thing, like “Oh, we’ll take some latin and some funk and some hip-hop and fit it together”. We just kind of do that. So on the New Yorkers when I was going after genre specific things – like “This is going to be a country song” or whatever – it’s a different kind of muscle, or a different kind of animal.

FOR FLC IT’S AN INSTINCT THING WHEN YOU GUYS GET IN THE ROOM TOGETHER…
Yeah, totally. The three of us have always had that kind of vibe. Fast and I have been writing together for over twenty years. People have said to us that we take a long time putting out records. Well, we’re producers too, we produce our records. But the actual writing of the core of the songs doesn’t take that long because we always know what we like, so once we hear it we’re “Yeah, that works”. Once you hear a good idea… Say, in the song THE FUN LOVIN’ CRIMINAL, that little [sings] “dat dat dat-da”, and you throw a little beat on it… That really worked out. It really spoke to what our sensibilities were at that time. I mean, I’m flashing back twenty years to that one but it’s on the front of my brain, ‘cos of next year… the tour…

BEFORE THEN, IN A FEW WEEKS TIME, YOU’RE STAGING THE SHOW AT CANARY WHARF…Yeah, it’s gonna be a special concert. A special night…

IT’LL BE QUITE A DIFFERENT SHOW – BILLED AS AN EVENING WITH HUEY MORGAN… YOU’LL BE PLAYING MUSIC AND TELLING STORIES… YOU’VE CLEARLY PUT A LOT OF THOUGHT INTO THIS SHOW.
Let’s not go that far, bro’… Ha ha ha ha…

HA HA… WELL, I WONDERED WHAT THE MOTIVATION WAS.
Money. Entirely money. I was offered a million pounds. A million fuckin’ pounds, man. I was, like, “Fuck yeah! I’ll do it! I’ll come up with some shit”.

A MILLION POUNDS? IS THAT TRUE?
Ha ha, naaaaah. Fuckin’ wit’ you. Bustin’ your balls! Or “chopping onions” as we like to say – ‘cos friends don’t break balls, they chop onions… I’ll tell you a story though. I remember having a conversation with my wife about doing something or other I’d been offered. They’d made me this really big offer that was probably a third of that or somethin’. I just didn’t want to do it. And she was like “Ok. If you’re not into doin’ it that’s cool with me”.

WOW. HANG ON TO HER, MAN!
Oh yeah. She’s very cool. I’ve been married going on almost ten years now and I’m a father of two and my life has changed in a lot of ways… I appreciate every day above ground… But I thought about it later and I thought “Wow. I’m either really principled… or dumb as fuck“… Ha ha ha…

HA HA… I’M GUESSING YOU’VE MADE A TIDY LIVING THOUGH?
Well, SCOOBY SNACKS has been very very good to me – as they say – so I can’t really complain about anything. I either save the money or invest it anyway, so I don’t have to do anything for money anymore. I’m not like Donald Trump – “Oh, I’ve made billions” – but I’ve never spent a lot of the money I’ve made, so I don’t have to do the things I don’t want to do. But when I was asked to put this particular show together, Canary Wharf, it was a really fun idea because I fucking love playing with all these dudes. It’s gonna be a great night, an excuse for all the FLC family to get together and hang. To be honest, if there wasn’t a stage we’d probably be doing it in my back yard.

I WONDERED ABOUT THE FACT YOU’LL BE TELLING STORIES DURING THE SHOW…
… Well, when it says ‘stories’ it’s more one of those things where it’s really just talking. I have done some public speaking things – I did some speaking at a film festival in Bristol recently and I gave a key-note speech at BMIN (British Music Industry Network). I loved doing those, and I love opining ‘cos I got a lot of opinions on shit. A lot of stuff obviously I can’t say on the BBC, but people say about my radio show that I have a very conversational style. If you were at my house and we went into the mannex and I got my stereo out and I’m playing you my favourite records, I’d be talking to you about what I’m playing. So it’s that. That’s how the radio show goes. Even with FLC gigs I do a lot of speaking to the audience because when I think back to the bands I really loved, they were the bands who didn’t play to the crowd but played for the crowd. They included them in the whole shit. So that’s what appeals to me…

SO YOU DON’T FANCY BEING HIS RUNNING MATE FOR PRESIDENT?
Oh, man. Fuck. You know what? I bet people would fucking vote for him if I was his running mate. Because he’ll get assassinated in his first month and I’ll be the one running shit. Ha ha ha…

… THERE’S THAT OLD BILLY CONNOLLY LINE ABOUT ANYONE WHO ACTUALLY WANTS TO BE A POLITICIAN SHOULD IMMEDIATELY BE BANNED FROM BEING A POLITICIAN…
Fuck, yeah. It’s got to be the SWORD IN THE STONE vibe or I’m not really buying it, you know? I mean, it’s not like I go around chewing up ground – I’m not going to be laying into people on Jeremy Corbyn’s behalf or anything like that. I’m not into politics in so far as I’m actually a humanist. I think most politicians are actually absolutely full of shit. They run for office and they take our money and they fuck us in the ass and “Thank you and have a nice life”. We got some shit going on where Hilary Clinton is actually assuming she’s going to be POTUS… But I’m shit-scared Donald Trump is going to end up getting in ‘cos Hilary’s fucking herself every which way but loose, you know? He’s like the guy who’s saying shit that everybody really wants to say but doesn’t have the nuts to say. Or Tweet. Ha ha ha… So I’m not really political in that sense, but I am social, you know what I mean? There’s a lot of shit things going on in our world today that need addressing… Man… But, anyway, this night, the Canary Wharf night, it’s going to be very lighthearted and about music. It’s not a Kanye show.

I’M PLEASED TO HEAR IT – THAT’D BE A TERRIBLE IDEA…
Yeah, yeah. Like the infamous thing at Glastonbury – well, that could have been anywhere, really, but it just happened to be at Glastonbury. Oops. All that “Yo, this is me and this is What. I. Do. Like it or not, yo”… I just don’t like that kind of performer at all. I like to go to a gig and feel like that person is doing something special for me and not just doing something at me, you know? We’re all supposed to be there to have fun! So when I get on stage I automatically make a connection with people. I talk to the audience. I don’t mean it’s exactly like a Q&A or anything but… if someone’s got a question then, hell yeah, raise your hand and ask me. I’ll answer… I’ll tell stories about the guys or whatever.

THIS PUBLIC IMAGE OF YOU AS A LITTLE BIT TOUGH… A LITTLE BIT SENSITIVE… A WIT… A BIT OF A WISE-GUY…
Ha ha ha, dude! I think you just made WIKIPEDIA redundant.

HA HA… IT’S CLEAR YOU’VE GOT A LOT OF STORIES. BUT SOME OF THE THINGS THAT YOU MIGHT WANT TO TALK ABOUT AT THIS CANARY WHARF SHOW, SOME OF THE STORIES YOU COULD TELL… WHERE DO YOU DRAW THE LINE, BECAUSE I GUESS THERE’S A LOT OF STUFF THAT’S PROBABLY BEST LEFT PRIVATE!
Ha ha, yeah, somewhat, somewhat. But that thing you just said about me being a little bit tough and a little bit sensitive… I think you have to be as sensitive as you are tough, really. And being a Marine, I actually understood that from a very young age. You can pull on the uniform and claim the title but you also have to understand exactly why you’re doing it, you know? Like, in music I’ve never hidden behind an image. There’s so much stuff now where people in showbusiness have media coaches and stylists and a whole bunch of other stuff. People writing their music and producing their music for them… We, the Fun Lovin’ Criminals, never really wanted to go down that road. We could have turned down our record deal but we were given one hundred percent creative control – the image, the music, the whole shit… If you like it, cool. If you don’t like it then don’t listen to it…

… YOU GET WHAT YOU GET…
Yeah. You get what you get. I think that’s what people appreciated from us back in the day, and even now. We’re not selling you clothing, we’re not sponsored by Coca-Cola, we’re doing it ‘cos we wanna do it. Especially nowadays when we don’t really need to do it. I think that also comes off in my radio show. People know that I do it ‘cos I fucking love it… And with the band, when people come see the Criminals play they know we’re doing it ‘cos we love it and we love playing for them. We do. We really do. Like the Canary Wharf thing, we’re doing exactly what we wanna do, ‘cos that’s the only way we roll…

… KEEPING IT REAL…
Yeah. You know, I always try and help young kids who are trying to get into this game and I tell them: “Fuck everything else – follow your heart”… But I also let them know that a lot of people are going to tell you your heart’s full of shit… but those fucking people are full of shit for saying anything about your heart. Your heart is what makes you different – and that’s what’s important, you know? I’ve always had this mentality: you don’t break your balls or your word for anybody. That’s all you’ve really got in this world as a person – so as a musician you can’t do that either.

FOR THE FIRST FLC ALBUM THERE WAS A REALLY COOL AESTHETIC BUT I ALWAYS THOUGHT, WITH YOU, THAT THERE MIGHT BE ANOTHER ANGLE SOMEWHERE… ON THAT RECORD YOU COVERED THE BOND THEME WE HAVE ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD…
Yeaaaaaah – the best Bond theme. Why didn’t they just take us in the studio this time and have us do it for the new James Bond movie? Are people that thick? They’re that thick they think Sam Smith’s gonna come up with something good in twenty minutes that’s gonna go down in history like [sings] “Goldfinger”..? No. It’s like [sings] “Shitfinger”… It’s unfortunate that the people who make films today don’t actually look back on what worked. I mean, John Barry and Hal David wrote a fucking hell of a song and Louis Armstrong sang the fuck out of it. Why not just take that recording and make it the new fucking theme again? Leave David Guetta the fuck out of it, don’t let him near it to do a remix or anything. Or maybe for the clubs, ha ha… But why not do that? Why not use WE HAVE ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD again? People would love that, they’d go fuckin’ crazy for that shit, I think. It’s maybe a forgotten film, in a way, ON HER MAJESTY’S SECRET SERVICE… but it has by far the best Bond theme…

… I THINK IT’S ONE OF THE BEST FIVE OR SIX FILMS, ACTUALLY. AND IT IS DEFINITELY ONE OF THE BEST THEMES… SO, YOUR RECORDING OF IT…
Yeah, ha ha, sorry bro’… I remember when I came up with the idea to do that song I played it to Fast – and he’s a trumpet player. That motherfucker was like “Yeah, uh-huh, I got this… I got this” so he was digging it. We threw a little backbeat on it – don’t do no four on the floor, you know? – and we kept the same arrangement ‘cos you can’t fuck with that original arrangement… Also when we put our first bunch of singles out we did I’LL BE SEEING YOU as one of the b-sides. You know the old standard? So that was actually a part of how I first looked at being a musician and at being a performer. Part of it is about playing things that people intrinsically love, you know? Play your own shit that got people to like you – the stuff that made them think you’re not just a dude but the dude – but sneak that classic stuff right in there alongside it.

YOUR RADIO SHOWS PROVE THAT YOU HAVE ECLECTIC TASTES AND AN OPEN MIND…
Well, yeah, but what else you gonna do? So you’ll hear the new Marley Marl beat followed by Billie Holiday going into Supertramp and then The Milk, you know? But that’s my tastes, that’s how my mind works… I’ve been lucky enough to find that the people who listen to the show… they’re like that too. People listen to all types of stuff nowadays. Most people are not tribal like they used to be. Like, “I’ll only listen to new romantic music” or I’ll only listen to punk,” or “I’ll only listen to hip-hop” or “I’ll only listen to metal”. The tribal mentalities have kind of gone. Now you can listen to anything you want – so that’s cool… We’re all one world citizens now, hopefully. Younger people got all that stuff at their fingertips with YouTube and the internet in general, haven’t they?

YEAH, ANYTHING FROM ANY ERA, ANY GENRE… AND THEY’RE THE SHUFFLE GENERATION, TOO…
Well, if you got a good iTunes library you can shuffle your way through life like magic, yeah. The thing with that is, you have to go find that music. Obviously if you like something someone played on a radio show, whether that be mine or almost anyone else’s, you might want to explore that kind of music – and you might find something you like better within that genre. And that’s the way I look at my role on the radio. I’m blessed that a lot of people like that, they like what I do.

YOU ONCE SAID THE CLASH WERE THE ONLY BAND THAT EVER MATTERED… DO YOU STILL THINK THAT? HAVEN’T YOU HEARD ANYONE SINCE WHO COMES CLOSE IN TERMS OF WHAT THEY’RE SAYING AND HOW THEY’RE SAYING IT – SLEAFORD MODS MAYBE?Yeah, maybe them. Maybe… You know, I’m not sure when I said that about The Clash. I don’t know what year I said it – but it was obviously a time when I was thinking quite a lot about Joe. It was probably when Joe had only just passed or something, was it..? Actually, that’s also something they used to say when they introduced the band in concert: “Ladies and gentlemen, the only band that matters – The Clash”… Obviously things change, but I genuinely believe The Clash were one of the most important bands of the twentieth century – by far. They’re all the way up there with The Beatles.

WOW. THAT’S A PRETTY BIG THING TO SAY…
I think it is a big thing to say, yeah. But there’s so much music that’s been made since them where the actual idea of ‘a band’ has fallen to the wayside somewhat. And the idea of a band is really important. The Clash were, like, a gang… You knew they were a gang and if you fucked with them they would fuck you up – together. One dude wouldn’t run, you know what I’m saying? If you fucked with them in a bar you’d get all four of them kicking your ass. And that’s what the Criminals were like. We were tight, we were a gang. It was one of the things I really really respected about The Clash.

DO YOU REMEMBER HOW YOU FELT THE FIRST TIME YOU HEARD THE CLASH?
When I got that first The Clash record, obviously I didn’t know Joe, you know? I didn’t know Mick, I didn’t know Topper… But I put that record on for the first time and it was one of those things where you’re like “I dig”. Majorly. I put it on and I was “Oh yeah, yeah. I get you, man. I get this”. It paralleled with a lot of sentiment that my generation had – and we appreciated the honesty. So that’s why I’ll have said what I said about The Clash being the only band that has ever mattered. ‘Cos they were the only band who fucking mattered, you know? They had it all going on. They played Times Square and they had, like, The Slits, Afrika Bambaataa, Melle Mel, Furious Five, Lee Perry, The Fall opening for them… Insane. Really cool…. They were a sponge soaking in all those musical inspirations and doing something with them, you know? Coming up with something. That’s sort of in the Criminals, too…

YOU ACTUALLY GOT TO KNOW JOE STRUMMER – IT MUST HAVE BEEN A BIT BIZARRE FOR YOU TO BE HANGING OUT WITH HIM WHEN THE CLASH HAD MEANT SO MUCH TO YOU… GETTING THE SPIRIT DIRECT FROM THE MAN RATHER THAN THE RECORDS…
Yeah. When I became friends with Joe maybe he became a surrogate father figure to me, thinking about it now. I could bounce problems off him and… Yeah. He really helped me to come to terms with me, and how I was going to be. He was the coolest guy you could possibly hang out with – really fuckin’ cool… Way cool. Do you know the rock photographer Bob Gruen?

YEAH – THE PICTURE OF LENNON IN THE NEW YORK CITY T-SHIRT?
The very same. I remember me and Bob were hanging out one night with Joe – and, man, he’d talk politics with anyone ’til, like, eight o’clock in the fuckin’ morning… So, there we all are in New York City, hanging in some Irish bar, and we walk outside hours later. Bob pulls out these sunglasses and puts ’em on and I’m like “Yo, what the fuck’s with that?” and he’s like “If you hang out with Joe bring sunglasses”. Ha ha ha, that’s a cool thing to be knowing… Joe Strummer, man… The Clash.
SO NO BAND HAS COME CLOSE?
Not really, no. But there’s a lot of stuff I love. You know, I’ve been playing this record a lot on my radio show by this band called The Milk. They put a record out called FAVOURITE WORRY and it is probably the best fucking record I’ve heard out of anybody for a long time. They just put it out last week on Wah Wah 45s and I’m telling you this shit is amazing. They got one on YouTube, a live version – the fuckin’ balls, man. These guys are killing me. I was talking with Chris Martin the other day and he said “What are you listening to now? What band?” and I was, like, “Music! All types of music – I don’t listen to any one particular band”… But if I do, I look for gangs – and The Milk is one of those things that I really dig in that way. They’re a crew, you know? For maybe a brief spark in a band’s life you get that absolutely one hundred percent, that authentic chemistry. That is so fucking powerful.

I’M NOT SURE MANY HAVE IT, ACTUALLY. THERE’S A LACK OF MAGIC ABOUT AND A LOT OF BULLSHIT…
There is. Really, there’s so many bands around now that are so contrived. But a lot of us can differentiate the bullshit from the real stuff… And sometimes people just pretend they can’t for the sake of appearances or political correctness or, like, commerce or whatever. Oh yeah, like One Direction are a band, huh?

I’VE SAVED THIS NEXT QUESTION ‘TIL LAST…
Ha ha… I’ve been asked some wild shit in the last twenty years bro’, so go right ahead. You ain’t gonna phase me… Actually I got asked about Kylie Minogue the other day. I’m like: “Damn. If I was young and single I’d love to mingle”…

WELL, I’M GOING TO ASK YOU ABOUT NEVER MIND THE BUZZCOCKS…
I’ve been on it, like, eight times or something – and Mark Lamarr made me host it once. I was like “Aww, dude, why?” and he was “I want a vacation”… I said “I can’t be fuckin’ bothered, dude” and he said “Just read the fucking cue cards”… But the cue cards, the teleprompter, it’s about eighty miles away from the camera, and people talk into your ear at the same time. But, yeah, I pulled it off. I know where you’re going here, bro’… I’m raising an eyebrow at you… You’re gonna ask about the mug, huh? Ha ha…

HA HA… BUSTED! ACTUALLY, I THOUGHT IT’D BE A GREAT MERCH IDEA FOR THE CANARY WHARF SHOW… I WAS THINKING YOU COULD DO ‘BUILD YOUR OWN’ MUG KITS – A PACKET WITH A MUG IN PIECES…Ha ha, or a pack of pieces with a label: ‘Authentically smashed by Huey’… Ha ha… In a fit of non-anger.

WAS IT NON-ANGER?
Oh, totally non-anger. I’ll give you the low-down right now and let’s you and me clear this up… The Rizzle Kicks were presenting. They were like theatre kids or something? I don’t know what they were. I don’t even know the band, to be honest. It was taking forever. Jupitus (who’s since turned into a prick) kept looking at his pocket watch and goin’ “This is bullshit, it’s been forty-five minutes doing this one part”. Both of them had earpieces in so the directors and producers are screaming at them individually on the earpieces and, you know, some of their jokes didn’t land. They had some really bad jokes. And don’t forget the teleprompter’s about eight hundred miles away – I know how that is, I tried it. So I’m, like, “What’s going on? These kids are in trouble”, and I stuck up for them. Literally just before this the crowd was booing them and I’m, like, “Yo, don’t boo the kids”. I mean, they’re not doing a great job of it… but… we know it’s not Lennon and McCartney up there, you know what I’m saying..? We were having some fun, Jupitus and I, goofing around, and he said “You gotta do something”. So I’m, like, “Yeah, I’ll do something’!” and…

… I JUST WATCHED IT AGAIN ON YOUTUBE AND IT’S STILL SHOCKING… YOU LOOK REALLY PISSED OFF…
In the old days if you smashed a mug on that show you were, like, the third person to smash a mug on that show that night. It used to be crazy. That’s why I liked it and that’s why I agreed to do it again when they called me last minute and told me someone had bailed. I know now why they bailed! It used to be good to see members of bands that you liked just having fun and goofin’ around and being themselves… but it had changed. Back before, inbetween shooting, Lamarr would berate the crowd – call them C U Next Tuesdays and stuff like that, and get them angry and there’d be a vibe… And they’d give you anything you wanted in your mug, so people were drunk off their asses. I remember the bass player dude from The Smiths having issues, man when I presented that show… Anyway, it’d usually take an-hour-forty-five to film the show – tops. But we were well into our second hour. It was getting boring. So boom – I broke the mug. Jupitus was looking at me real glassy-eyed with an expression like “Wow, this sorta thing hasn’t happened in a long time”…

NOTHING LIKE THAT HAD HAPPENED FOR A LONG TIME, WHICH IS PART OF THE REASON IT WAS SHOCKING… AND EXCITING, ACTUALLY. LIKE “OKAY! LET’S GO!”…
Yeah, like a wake-up thing? I got a lot of Twitter followers because of it. I think everyone over twenty-one loved it and everyone under twenty-one was, like, “Oh, you fucked with our boys!” – I was like “What boys?”… At first I didn’t really know who they meant. Then I realised they meant the band. I didn’t know they’re a band – I thought they were a comedy act that wasn’t funny or somethin’… The director was, like, “Dude, can you get out of the way so the stagehands can clean up” so I moved literally about three feet away while they cleaned it up. I was standing behind Jupitus. One of the kids, the one who had hair, he stuck a piece of it in his hair and he looked over to me and asked “That’s funny, right?” and I’m, like, “Yeah, that’s funny dude. We can use that”. We finished filming the end of the show and the producer told me we’d had a good one. I found out later that the two kids hung around and they filmed more with ’em looking shocked and all that. And me standing out of the way so they could clean the mug up – that was cut to be me ‘storming off’, apparently… So it was a bit of a beauty in the editing job… But I guess they had to throw me under the bus to make that particular edition of the show work… I can’t change my stripes, man – if people remember me for anything, and if that anything is throwing that mug, then at least I did the rock ‘n’ roll thing that the show used to be worth watching for, you know? Jesus – a rock ‘n’ roll show that’s not so fucking rock ‘n’ roll after all, huh?

MOST TELEVISION IS SO PREDICTABLE… IT’S SHOWBUSINESS… LIGHT ENTERTAINMENT… SANITISED… THERE IS SOME GOOD STUFF AROUND, BUT GENERALLY THERE’S NOTHING MUCH THERE TO MAKE THE BRAIN TICK IS THERE?Oh no, man. No. It’s all so sedated, so compliant. Things where everything’s just very beautiful and very wonderful and we’re all so happy here in TV land, thank you, and blah blah… fuck you… I think people are so used to STRICTLY COME DANCING and things like that now. But it’s bullshit… You know, entertainment has changed so much – it’s been totally co-opted by The Man, by big business. It’s packaged to fuck and we’ve all been incrementally dumbed down. Definitely in music and in TV. Hopefully not so much in film – but I do actually see it in the movies unfortunately. I’m talking about that fucking AVENGERS sorta shit and all that… I remember NEVER MIND THE BUZZCOCKS being completely the opposite of all that. But what the fuck’s really goin’ on if me tossing a mug… onto a table… makes people go so fuckin’ bananas?

HOPEFULLY IT HASN’T BECOME THIS THING WHERE PEOPLE START LAUNCHING MUGS AT THE BAND WHEN YOU’RE ON STAGE…
Ha ha. Well, what people have gotta remember is that I didn’t launch anything at anybody – it was not an aggressive move. But I really would be surprised if anyone who threw a mug at us at a show got out of there alive… you know what I’m saying? My posse would be up and at that motherfucker… People don’t really come to see the Criminals to throw stuff at us anyway – people wanna see the show and have a good time, not get their ass whipped.

HAVE YOU EVER HAD STUFF THROWN AT YOU THOUGH?
A coupla times. I have been hit with a couple of things, yeah. I remember being on stage in Belfast and I saw this thing glinting in the lights… I was, like, “It’s not gonna reach me, it’s not gonna reach me”… But it reached me and fuck… It hit my dick, man… So I took a knee to have a look at it, and it was a mini-flask. It said on it “To Huey – Welcome to Northern Ireland. We love you”… I was, like, “Yo, someone hit me in the dick with a flask – but the message on the flask is so fuckin’ nice, so sweet“… What the fuck?

WAS THERE ANYTHING IN IT?
It was filled with really fuckin’ good Jameson’s! Ha ha ha… You gotta look at things sometimes like “life happens”… So if you ever get hit in the dick it’s probably for a good reason, ha ha ha ha…

HA HA, WHAT A NOTE TO END ON! ENJOY THE REST OF YOUR DAY, HUEY… AND THANKS FOR YOUR TIME…Hey, no… Thank you. It’s been good to go through some of this shit with you, bro’… Enjoy your day too, whatever you’re doin’… I gotta go pick my son up from school in a couple, y’know…

… CONGRATULATIONS ON THE BIRTH OF YOUR DAUGHTER, BY THE WAY.
Ohhhh, thank you very much, man… I tell you something – being a Dad really defines a man, you know what I’m saying? It totally makes you realise “Wow… I’m so not important anymore”. My kids are very cool. I’m very happy.

LONG MAY IT LAST – AS LONG AS YOUR DAUGHTER DOESN’T START THROWING HER BOTTLE AROUND…
Ha ha ha, nooooo. I’m sure she’ll take after my wife and be a really gentle and beautiful soul… So far so good…