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Friday, 8 November 2013

Slabs / West London

Another guest review this week, this time from a new reviewer who chooses to be Anonymous

Who are they?Slabs is a relatively new entrant to the London burger scene and
is clearly keen to make its mark as a venue for high quality
processed meat. With “posh” burger joints springing up like
weeds, Slabs needs to make a good case for itself, especially since
old favourites Patty & Bun and Meat Liquor are both within
staggering distance. According to the menu, the name comes from Steak
Lobster And BurgerS. Unfortunately, the
first thing that sprang to mind was Dr F N Furter who memorably said
“So come up to the lab and see what’s on the slab…” Time to
see if it could relieve my tension.ThoughtsFrom the outside, Slabs looks like virtually any other restaurant
in London while the interior is… exactly the same. Certainly,
there’s none of the “style” that characterises Meat Mission and
Meat Liquor and one could be forgiven for thinking that it was
slightly anodyne. That said, everything was clean, all the surfaces
were well finished and generally gave the impression that someone had
paid attention to what they were doing when they hammered things
together.
The menu was fairly uncomplicated but in the starter descriptions
lay an unpleasant surprise. The tiger prawns were served with a
brandy jus. Mentioning jus on the menu at Le Gavroche is acceptable.
At a gastropub it’s pretentious and at a burger restaurant it’s
downright bizarre. Things became more ominous when I looked at the
drinks section and found that there were as many options for
champagne as there were for beer and that both were insignificant
compared to the wine list. Whilst it’s certainly a personal
preference, I enjoy burger restaurants that treat burgers for what
they are – greasy, meaty, dripping, unhealthy food for the masses
that should be shovelled into the gullet with hands, not knives and
forks. Old grape juice is not the first drink I associate with that.After I’d recovered from my shock, I chose the burger. Since it
was my first time, I thought I should push the boat out and went for
the wagyu burger (£16.00) with triple-cooked chips (£2.50).
Although I knew that any menu outside of Japan that mentions “wagyu”
or “kobe beef” should be treated with caution, my persistent
belief that more expensive things are always better meant that I was
confident with my choice. For the money I was expecting something the
size of a curling stone but instead received something best described
as “dainty”.Nonetheless, I dug into the burger hoping that good things came in
small packages. The patty itself was tasty, but for the price I’d
paid for the burger I was expecting to be sent into an orgiastic
state of bliss. Tasty wasn’t quite enough. It was also rather dry,
despite still being pink in the middle, which made me suspect that it
hadn’t been made with the fattiest, tastiest cuts of beef. However,
things were improved somewhat by the shiitake mushrooms and “Asian
slaw” on top of the burger which provided a rather nice
counterpoint to the richness of the patty. The bun itself served its
purpose admirably but since the burger wasn’t particularly juicy,
it didn’t really have its work cut out for it.ConclusionAll in all, I was left rather disappointed,
something that I should have probably guessed would have been the
result of ordering the most extravagant thing on the menu. If I’d
had the burger for half the price it would have probably received a
much better rating which, of course, means that I should probably
return for a second review. It also makes me think that as burger
restaurants are becoming more and more popular, care should be taken
over their selling points. While expensive cuts of beef are easily
distinguishable when served medium-rare on their own, when minced and
topped with cheese, onions and ketchup, the difference becomes less discernible SLABS should focus on a fatty patty made from decent
meat, add some imaginative toppings and remember that they’re a
burger restaurant, not a fancy bistro.

Score

5/10 - Pisstake, not shiitakeWhere can I find them?http://slabslondon.com/A short stroll north from Bond Street tube station (Central and Jubilee lines).