Having a good sense of humour really helps. It is ok to tease a little, and to expect some back. Sharing a good sense of humour can really help diffuse the atmosphere when things get tough, because they will be tough sometimes. But remember too much teasing can be destructive, if it is seen as disguised criticism.

Have some shared interests so you have many things in common, but also develop and have your own passion. That way you are not living in each others pockets all the time and can still have stimulating and exciting conversations.

Be your true self, don’t feel you need to wear a mask or have to change, or you feel you are not ‘good enough’ although we all change all the time. If you feel you are not being your true, authentic self, then how can you really feel loved back?

Try to focus on your partners positives and try to get them to focus on yours. Couples who focus on mainly the negatives, don’t tend to last for too long.

Be kind to each other, surprise them with something special occasionally. It doesn’t have to be a present, but a considerate action would do just as well.

Explore each other physically and emotionally. Ask them how they feel, what they like, what they don’t like. Try listening carefully without interruption. Try putting yourself in their place. Having empathy (an understanding of how others feel) is really important in relationships. How might you feel? Try new things. Use touch in new ways.

Finally, remember you are responsible only for your own happiness, not the happiness of your partner, that is their responsibility. If you are not happy, you need to address it.

2 Comments:

night_orchid:
It seems to me that a successful relationship is often founded not only on commonalities and good times, but on a couple’s willingness to stick it out when things are rough. Time and again I see people on the sight chasing exes or wondering why someone is not making an effort to be a better partner. The truth is that a person who truly loves you and is willing to TRY for the long haul actually puts in more effort rather than backs off.

Sigi:
As you said, having empathy is important.I can say that when I put an effort to be more empathic usually shindigs look different somehow, and even if I was angry I tend to be more forgiving.