AN ABSENCE OF FREEDOM CULTIVATES TOXIC CONTROL AND POWER-MONGERING.THE ABSENCE OF FREE CHOICE IS NUMBING: IT THROWS US INTO THE VICTIM SPACE,ALLOWING US TO BELIEVE THAT THE WAY THINGS ARE TURNING OUT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH US ANDIS BEYOND OUR CONTROL.

IT’S YOUR UNIQUE BACKSTORY THAT MAKES WAY FOR YOUR VALUES TO BE BORN AND AS THEY DEVELOP, THEY’RE EXPRESSED IN YOUR WANTS AND EXPECTATIONS.

POSSESSING POSITIVE VALUES IS LIKE HAVING YOUR OWN INNER LIGHTHOUSE WHICH SHINES IN RECOGNITION OF LIKE-MINDEDNESS AND HELPS GUIDE YOU THROUGH FOGGY CONFUSION TOWARDS SOMETHING OR SOMEONE THAT IS TRUE AND REAL.

“Relationships need a true north, a heading that incorporates the wants, dreams and intentions of both personalities, providing a pulling force packed with direction and purpose.”

IT’S YOUR UNIQUE BACKSTORY THAT MAKES WAY FOR YOUR VALUES TO BE BORN AND AS THEY DEVELOP, THEY’RE EXPRESSED IN YOUR WANTS AND EXPECTATIONS.

POSSESSING POSITIVE VALUES IS LIKE HAVING YOUR OWN INNER LIGHTHOUSE WHICH SHINES IN RECOGNITION OF LIKE-MINDEDNESS AND HELPS GUIDE YOU THROUGH FOGGY CONFUSION TOWARDS SOMETHING OR SOMEONE THAT IS TRUE AND REAL.

THE MORE YOU INVEST IN YOUR MARRIAGE,
THE MORE VALUABLE IT BECOMES

HOW TO CREATE A REALLY GOOD RELATIONSHIP

I am frequently asked “is counselling really worth it?” If you’re with a professional counsellor who pairs well with you, invariably my answer is “yes”. Even if you and your partner end up separating, counselling gives you the peace of mind and closure to know you tried your best.

Imagine that your relationship is a single entity, a unique mix comprising you and your partner – and it walked into the room for counselling. Imagine the counsellor asking of this person: have you been invested in, do you have the skills for this job, do you have good self esteem and are you nourished? More often than not, the answer would be “no” to all. We drop the ball on the work that’s required to keep relationships in a state of well-being. So when it comes to the point where the relationship is neglected and the focus is primarily on our wounds and voids, leaving often feels like the only choice. This is when we need to pause and before we throw the towel in, review where we’ve gone into denial and perhaps become a partner who is more interested in power and control, than love.

To give a relationship a fighting chance, we need to be sure that we have equipped it with our best heart-space, attitude and skills. When our relationships hit troubled water, there’s a negative ripple effect across the lives of all those affected by the relationship and we owe it to ourselves, our families, and the social and professional environments in which we move, to do our personal best. In other words, take responsibility for our part in creating the state of the relationship’s head, heart and behaviour.

LATEST FROM THE BLOG

In the first quarter of this year, I facilitated the ending of four marriages. These cases stand out for me for two reasons – one for the high statistic (in my practice) and two because these weren’t relationships that were filled with resentment and anger. These were couples who came to the bittersweet conclusion that…

BY APPOINTMENT

TESTIMONIALS

“I haven't finished many self help type books as I never found them interesting or relevant to my particular problem. The only books I have finished which I enjoyed were the artists way or something like chicken soup. These two books had activities for the reader to do and lots of personal stories which I personally enjoy. I want to know how other people dealt with it and what I personally could try. With your book I felt connected and engaged, it was relevant to my situation and reminded me of all your advice. I liked hearing your personal stories and those of your other clients. I love that the perosn I have come to know is the same voice I was hearing in the book, it felt as though you were in the room talking to me. Your book made me feel less alone as you read about other couples going through similar problems. Your book was not just about information, it showed how to apply it and gave lots of examples. It was easy reading, no technical language or unnecessary information."

- Janet

“Let me preface this by saying that I loathe self-help books and the closest I have ever got to reading a 'self-helpy' type book was Eat, Pray, Love. But this is what makes your book so remarkable - not only did I finish it but I really enjoyed reading it. What I enjoyed most was that it perfectly intertwines autobiography, self-help and psychology. I bookmarked loads of pages and honestly think that your 'Allies' should be the blueprint for marriage prep courses. Your exercises are totally do-able too. I actually did one (Expectations Exercise) with my husband. I was aware that my marriage needed some CPR and this book was my wake-up call. Please let me know when your website is up and running as I would like to download some more exercises. Lastly, your view on love being the end game is remarkable and enlightening. I also loved how you reiterated self-love and its importance. Please publish this soon - I want all of my friends to read it ASAP 🙂 Thank you for trusting me with your book. I have no doubt that it will transform many, many relationships. "