The Real Reason I Live Debt-Free

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The Real Reason I Live Debt-Free

I'm sure some of you noticed – the last two weeks I have been a lot less active on M$M. My wife and I were taking a well deserved vacation in Jamaica, when we learned that her father had passed away.

Needless to say, things have been a little crazy since that day. We flew home, made preparations for the service, and have been doing everything we can to help get loose ends taken care of.

I debated for a while if I would even write this post because obviously it's a sore subject right now for us, but I think when you experience the passing of a close one, you gain a new perspective on life and your goals (financial or otherwise).

I want to share the real reason I live debt-free.

From a lot of the personal finance blogs or financial personalities you see out there, “debt-free” is this goal they want you to achieve so you can be happier or find “peace”. I think that stuff is fine and probably sells a lot of products, but happiness or peace haven't really been my motivators.

The truth is that most of my financial goals and perspectives came from being very observant of people who are much older than me. Millennials really tend to surround themselves with like-minded young people (totally understandable), but for whatever reason I haven't.

I enjoy spending time with people who are older than me, because it's like a glimpse into my own future.

I've seen people at the brink of retirement, people desperately trying to build wealth at the end of their careers, and specifically for this post: finances at the end of someone's life.

My father in-law was diagnosed with a disease called Inclusion Body Myositis about 8 years ago. I've known my wife for 10 years, so I was a full witness to what happens from diagnosis to passing from complications with this type of illness. It sucks. Really no other way to put it without dropping f-bombs.

He fought it every step of the way, and made it YEARS further than any doctor thought he would. It was pretty incredible really; I could only hope I would have that much dignity in the face of such a cruel disease.

Here's how this all ties in to my site:

My in-laws were never rich people, but they were savvy. They paid off their house much earlier than most people, were smart with how they paid off cars, and avoided debt whenever possible.

This was HUGE for them when my father in-law couldn't work any more. It was so important when he went on hospice and eventually passed. He left this world giving the gift of no financial burdens on his family, just straight-up assets.

That's why I do what I do. I drive a $6,000 car, not because I have to but because I should. I live a cash-based life because I want things to be easier for my wife and future kids when I pass. I'm terrified of debt – and I wish other young people were too.

Millennials don't see the world for what it is.

Even the smartest of my friends play with the loaded gun called debt like it's a toy because they lack perspective.

We pretend that we won't need the $50,000 we just borrowed for a new car because SHINY.

We borrow money for travel because we think the younger years of our life are more important than the later years (Hint: You will be the same person later, just older looking).

We finance the biggest house possible because 30 years is really really far away right?

We ignore our student loans because a politician promised to make them disappear.

We sit around at low paying jobs because “work-life balance” sounds better than “hard work”.

Remind yourself of this from time to time:

You will die eventually, and it won't happen the way you imagine it. It might be long and drawn out, and I guarantee you it will be massively expensive one way or the other. It's something we don't want to think about for obvious reasons, but you have to make it part of your financial plan.

Just to be clear – that doesn't mean you need a morbid outlook on life. In fact, it means the exact opposite. Be realistic about what life is, and try to enjoy the hell out of it. But for the love of everything good in this world don't be dumb with your money, because you WILL need it. Your spouse and kids WILL need it. It's one of the most important gifts you can give to your family when you are gone.

Don't borrow money for stupid crap, get real with life, and live financially for the future rather than the now.

First, I am very sorry for your family’s loss. Your father-in-law sounds like a tremendous man who fought valiantly and honorably in the face of a terrible illness. What a remarkable legacy he leaves behind!

Second, I agree fully with your reflections. As a fellow millennial, I am equally aggravated by how my peers lack perspective when it comes to money matters. Deep down, I think they know it is wrong to swipe their credit card for cruises and finance $40,000 trucks. Somehow, those feelings are ignored in favor of foolishness. If only they knew that the future was to be lived for rather than borrowed from.

Thank you for the reminder. You are so right – we can plan the heck out of our life and think that 20, 30, or 40 years in the future things will work themselves out, but we have no idea what the future holds. Having our finances in order and taking responsibility right now ensures we can be ready for whatever life brings.

I’m so sorry for your loss. You share such an important lesson though. I spent a lot of time around older people too when I was 19 and 20 because that was the majority of who worked at my job and I learned so much from them in terms of what I wanted to do with my life and finances and what I didn’t want to do. Now that I am a mom I have so much more motivation to get out of debt.

Bobby – I am so incredibly sorry to hear of your family’s loss…quite honestly, I know sometimes there are no words, or acts that can console the ache that comes from the grief of losing someone that is incredibly close to you. My father passed of pancreatic cancer 6 years ago, and the financial aspects that came from such a sudden happening lend itself to one of the main reasons why I kicked everything into such high gear. I know this is a vulnerable time, but if your wife ever needs someone to reach out to – please tell her to not hesitate to email me. If there’s one thing I learned, grief (like finances) are another ‘taboo’ subject in many ways. Thank you for sharing this post, I full-heartedly agree with ensuring that your future family is taken care of. It’s very real. My thoughts are with your family!!

So sorry for your loss. My condolences to you, your wife and the rest of your family. It sounds like he was a great man though and really know what he was doing when it came to life and money. Plenty of life lessons to be learnt and shared.

Sorry for your loss Bobby. Thank you for sharing this. For some reason the topics you touched on have been on my mind a lot lately. I can’t tell why, but I’m thinking a lot about living a better life. I think we all battle the SHINY disease. It’s a hard one to overcome especially when everyone else seems to be so enamoured by it. I’m with you for hanging out with older people. It gives you a great perspective on what your life can be and how you can use their life lessons to learn. For us Debt free is part of our future. I’m all for designing your ideal life and then working your way to building towards it. Future over now is a way of life. Deepest sympathies.

We do all battle the “shiny disease” (I like that btw) every day. All of us are flooded with advertising, some are just better at ignoring it than others it seems. Hanging out with people that are older than me is probably the only reason I have had some financial success so far. I wish more people did it – we would have less bad debt and financial stress if we were able to have someone explain the real consequences of our poor decisions!

I am so sorry for your loss, but think you did the right thing by sharing this post. There are so many millennials that lack perspective. We do need to keep future us in mind when we’re making decisions in the present. I’m on a mission to destroy our debt so we don’t have to live in constant fear. Not having debt gives you peace of mind, security, and freedom. These commodities are so much more valuable than the newest electronics or a shiny car. My best wishes for comfort, to you and your wife . . . hold on tight to the good memories <3

Sorry to the both of you for your loss. Never easy. Thanks for writing this post. It made so much sense and it was to the point. We should talk about death and the what ifs in life. Your perspective is spot on. You mentioned when buying and spending the maximum amount you can borrow on the purchase of the house, I am glad you mentioned that as this one one piece of advice that I continuously received which in itself could be problematic in the future. I think the effect is called house rich, money poor. Thank you for sharing.

Sorry for your loss my friend but very good article. Unfortunately too many of us are caught up with wanting fancy things that they think will make us feel better and will impress people. All that matters is family and love. If you work too much, you miss out on both. And if you spend lots of $$$ on unnecessary crap you don’t need, you’re only hurting yourself in the long run.

My heart goes out to you and your family during this difficult time. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, we need A LOT more messages like these. It’s important to remember to gather all the little gems our elders have to offer us while they are still here and from the sound of it, you’re collecting your fair share:)

That’s something for sure. I’m 28, own a cruddy trailer and 2 cars free and clear. Less than 1k medical debt and less than 5k other debt including student loans. I just utilized my guaranteed insurability option to up my whole life policy to 100k and can add 50k every 3 years.

Need to start working on retirement savings soon, but completely covered for a freak occurrence.

That’s great! Pretty low debt-load as well, I’m sure you’ll have that taken care of in no time! Life insurance is definitely a great tool to make sure your loved ones are covered…it’s usually so cheap that it’s a no brainer. Thanks for sharing!

I love this article so much. My mom passed away unexpectedly at the age of 42. She left behind a lifetime of debt and no assets, which my Dad struggled to pay. After seeing that, I know how important it is to get rid of debt AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. I want to not only leave this world without owing a soul, but also to make life a little easier for my children.

We’re taking a lot of steps in the right direction. We live on 50% of our income and just paid off our $14,000 credit card debt. 🙂 Right now we’re saving up for a house, but starting in December we should be able to tackle our student loan debt in 18 months. Life’s looking up!

It is important. It’s one of those things that we obviously don’t want to spend much time dwelling on, but it’s SO important to make sure that you have your stuff taken care of for your family. Had Bill not done that, my mother-in-law would be facing a way harder financial challenge that might have been impossible to solve.

Good luck on your debt – seems like you are definitely doing some great things! Just keep plugging away and you’ll be done before you know it!!!!!

Really powerful post. I’ve known some cancer survivors who said they never felt more alive than when they felt death was near. Using your money with the clarity of what will happen at the end of your life is a great meditation, especially if you view your earned money as a proxy for life energy.

I am so sorry for your loss. Debt is just making our future self pay for something our present self wants… And as you pointed out, someday that future self will be dying and will have much more important worries than a fancy car or house. I am glad you were able to learn those lessons younger than most people.

I think this post is fine and great, but not everyone has the luxury of living debt free. I think most people would like to be debt free, but we can’t always control the circumstances we are born into. I think this post is somewhat ignorant of the struggles some people are born into. Not to mention a four year education costs tens of thousands, if not, hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Thank you. Kim…I think you should read more about my story. I didn’t just snap my fingers and make my $40k of student loan debt disappear. I worked my @$$ off and lived way below my means until I got to that point. I get more emails from people that struggle with debt than I ever imagined I would. I’m also very well aware what college educations cost; it’s one of the main things that the site covers.

Actually, the more I think about this article, the more offended I become. It’s as if you think the debt I’m accumulating is a choice. Sure I could have chosen to not get a college degree, but that would have screwed me over too. I don’t think this is as insightful as you think it is, in fact, I think it’s quite offensive. I would love to be debt free, I’m pretty sure every person would, it’s not an easy task that everyone can do. It’s unfortunate that you don’t understand that.

Well, I think you may be the only highly offended person out of the literally tens of thousands that have seen this post. I can live with that. I hate to mention this because it’s awkward, but you said that debt isn’t a choice and then immediately said you could have chosen not to go to college.

There’s nothing wrong with borrowing money to better yourself in my opinion. I did it, and it was totally worth it. I’m sorry you feel that I don’t understand debt, but I have to say this is one of the most bizarre comments that I’ve ever had on M$M. Hopefully I’m just getting trolled here! 🙂

Great article, one theme I noticed was a ton of college debt. I was fortunate to have school paid by working full time and having it paid by company I worked for…. I have been debt free for years and anyone can do it…

Even thought the blanket .. “Millennials think and do XYZ” annoys me, I agree about the debt. I had a health scare and a lay-off that really got me in a better space. I didn’t even get into the fire – just saw the smoke. If I didn’t have a savings I would have never even been able to get the tests needed to find out if I had cancer or not – it hit me right there. You cannot control everything but making good decisions for the 30% of things you have some power over, arm you to weather the other 70%. I am have been on the Pay it off, Save more train ever since.

My new husband and I are debt-free, and hoping to stay that way. We aren’t millennials, but our kids are. I’m printing this article for them to read. I paid off $40K in student loans TWICE (undergrad and then, grad school), while going through a divorce. Now, we are paying for $1000/month daycare for our new baby while raising college-bound teens. I know we are in different financial times than when I was young, but wisdom is wisdom, it doesn’t have an expiration date! thanks for a touching post…I think it’s nice that your father-in-law kept life and money in perspective when it mattered most.

As one of the “white-headed aged folk” it is cool to read your article. I have spent a generation making foolish decisions with money. When I was your age I simply did not “peek through the curtain” and observe the other side. You have.
I am getting rid of debt; and, at my age, it does bring peace. I want to leave a legacy for my children and grandchildren teaching them gently what you have already discovered. Thanks. I’m sharing this.

Loved this article! Resonates with me on so many levels since I have parents who are 40 years my senior. I believe they gave me so much perspective to life regarding money and opportunities. Would love to syndicate this article on our site if you would allow me to.

So very sorry for your loss. I was given the privilege of caring for my baby sister and her small children for two years while she battled leukemia. Most heart wrenching thing I have ever done, and then my dad died of a heart attack 5 days before she died. I felt like a professional funeral planner for a while. And with them both gone, now I watch over my mom. It’s been two years and I’m still recovering. Living a debt free and a frugal life, along with having a fantastic husband gave me choices…. I chose to have no regrets. Debt free and frugal is the ONLY way for us!

When my sisters and I were young we would question my parents about why we didn’t go on vacations (we would fly to visit family) like our friends? Why don’t you buy a new car? etc. etc. My parents would tell us two things. First, they’d say look in the mirror and smile due to all the orthodontia work we were undergoing. Then they’d say, the best gift a parent can give (to their children) is to be financially secure so they are not a burden on their children. The older I get the more grateful I am for their foresight and the example they set for my sisters and I. I wish all my family and friends would have this same mind set! Great post and I’m so sorry for the loss of your father in law. It sounds like he was an incredible person.

Sorry, for your loss of your father-in-law. Loved what you had to say. I just lost my husband unexpectedly at the age of 56. As I sat on my couch the next day, I realized that financially everything was going to be fine. We have lived debt free for a number of years and while there isn’t a huge life insurance policy, the retirement savings is adequate and I am still able to work. We started working toward being debt free almost 20 years ago and I am so so thankful that we learned to live with just a tad less, enjoy life and in the end not have this loss be a financial burden on top of the grief. Keep sharing the live with less and stay out of debt message.

Totally agree. It’s not easy sometimes with the world as it is, marketing as powerful as it is. I have to be thankful for my husband who saw this same phenomenon but grew up understanding it because of his father, as you saw through your FIL. It’s aggravating at times, but much easier to sleep. <3 Thanks for the words of wisdom! Condolences and best wishes.

Amen! I preach this to my friends all the time. Some people take out loans to back pack Europe?! Get real! Cool thing though, there are alot of jobs out there that actually pay way and you get to do this kind of stuff.

Thanks for trying to talk sense into people. It is a difficult task sometime.

First I would like to say; I’m sorry to hear of your loss.
Thank you for your thoughts of debt and life after the passing of a loved one. I have never really considered debt free living to prevent a hardship to someone else but it really does make scenes. Thank you for sharing that with us.

Love it. I’m a millennial myself and see it daily, people my age buying new toys, loaded credit card debts, just makes me cringe. Then, there are the few who actually see the benefit of not needing something shiny immoderately. My mom calls us the “fast food” generation. Fast cars, fast financing, fast communication networks, and fast… debts. Nope, I’ve had my fair share of debt and that will not happen again. Great post man!

So sorry for your loss. I can totally relate. I am a cancer survivor and my financial goals are purely motivated around taking care of my family. I think about what would happen to them if I die early. I save like a madman. Thanks for sharing your story with us.

*hugs* I know that this happened a while ago, but you never really get over someone’s death.

My mom died this January, penniless. We had to do a GoFundMe just for her cremation and other expenses. Her widower got $200 from Social Security, and last time I talked to him, he was about to lose the house they lived in.

I can’t thank you enough for this advice. It’s really helping me get my act together financially. I’m on disability myself, and have bills through the roof, but I don’t want to end up being a burden on people. I’m new to your site, and I think I’m going to try the eBay thing, since it’s something I can do with my disabilities. Living on $1,034 a month with about $950 in necessary expenses is hard, but you have really inspired me to save!

I am a new subscriber. I got to this article via the free e-book….simple yet powerful. Belated condolences on your loss. You both have a level-headed down-to-earth perspective on life and on the people in your life. Setting up one’s dependents and loved ones for a debt-free successful, stress-free life is the legacy one should strive to leave behind.

Sorry for you loss and thanks for sharing your story. People can function with debt when the times are good but it really is a nightmare when disasters happen like health issues, job losses or relationship breakdowns. Best to do the hard yards and become debt free when the times are good and we have the capacity to rather then leaving it for when chaos strikes! So great your father in law planned ahead so that was one less stress for family at this difficult time.

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