What will u do if u were me?

So as many if u know my issues with the in laws, no I am in situation don't know what to do? So my dd 1st birthday is in 3 weeks and dh doesn't want to do a party for cuz he doesn't want to spend money so I told him that it is our first baby's 1 st so he said ok but u have to do at my parents house I said no, he said that is fine so it is a no then. I really wanna do something for her at my house and I will have the options for the theme but if I do it at his parents house it will be controlled by his mom( which means that she want to do everything her way as I have no opinion or good taste). Don't know what to do time is flying . Any advice or idea if I say yes to do it there how I put rules or how to deal with it? Thanks

So as many if u know my issues with the in laws, no I am in situation don't know what to do? So my dd 1st birthday is in 3 weeks and dh doesn't want to do a party for cuz he doesn't want to spend money so I told him that it is our first baby's 1 st so he said ok but u have to do at my parents house I said no, he said that is fine so it is a no then. I really wanna do something for her at my house and I will have the options for the theme but if I do it at his parents house it will be controlled by his mom( which means that she want to do everything her way as I have no opinion or good taste). Don't know what to do time is flying . Any advice or idea if I say yes to do it there how I put rules or how to deal with it? Thanks

We take a small family trip for birthdays instead of spending the money on a party. Always things the kids will like.. Zoos, aquariums, parks, ocean. My dd fondant remember the first few but I have the pics! Always preferred the family time to organizing and paying for a big party(we still do gifts and cake just us though no invites)

We take a small family trip for birthdays instead of spending the money on a party. Always things the kids will like.. Zoos, aquariums, parks, ocean. My dd fondant remember the first few but I have the pics! Always preferred the family time to organizing and paying for a big party(we still do gifts and cake just us though no invites)

I am going to be the devils advocate...If mil throws party and pays for party you get to enjoy and relax and party with your lo instead of running around taking care of everything. Just a thought. Also should probably work in the relationship with your in laws as it seems to put your dh in an uncomfortable middle..I think you need to choose your battles and this should not be one of them. gl sweety!

I am going to be the devils advocate...If mil throws party and pays for party you get to enjoy and relax and party with your lo instead of running around taking care of everything. Just a thought. Also should probably work in the relationship with your in laws as it seems to put your dh in an uncomfortable middle..I think you need to choose your battles and this should not be one of them. gl sweety!

Maybe you could compromise & have it some place neutral, such as a park. You could ask your mil to help (not take over) w/ the preparation, which might make your dh happy that you extended the olive branch & are trying to work w/ her.

Maybe you could compromise & have it some place neutral, such as a park. You could ask your mil to help (not take over) w/ the preparation, which might make your dh happy that you extended the olive branch & are trying to work w/ her.

1st she is too young for a trip, 2nd they will just have it in their house but I will pay for everything and have to clean afterwords, 3rd can't have it a park it will be dec 17 so it will be to cold and she will take over no matter what cuz that is her personalty( she is control freak) and thinks that she is the best at everything and I have no tast. If that will make any sence. And trust me I tried million times to work on the relationship but the thing is THAT THey won't be nice to me and like me unless we move in with them ( in their house).

1st she is too young for a trip, 2nd they will just have it in their house but I will pay for everything and have to clean afterwords, 3rd can't have it a park it will be dec 17 so it will be to cold and she will take over no matter what cuz that is her personalty( she is control freak) and thinks that she is the best at everything and I have no tast. If that will make any sence. And trust me I tried million times to work on the relationship but the thing is THAT THey won't be nice to me and like me unless we move in with them ( in their house).

So your husband is telling you that you can only have a party for your child if it's at his parents house? I don't know the whole story here but how is it okay for a husband to make a decision and throw an ultimatum at you when it comes to something as wonderful as a first birthday? Maybe he's compromising and I'm just too strong willed but I think he is being unfair. That's just me though... I would plan something small with immediate family in my own home whether he liked it or not.

So your husband is telling you that you can only have a party for your child if it's at his parents house? I don't know the whole story here but how is it okay for a husband to make a decision and throw an ultimatum at you when it comes to something as wonderful as a first birthday? Maybe he's compromising and I'm just too strong willed but I think he is being unfair. That's just me though... I would plan something small with immediate family in my own home whether he liked it or not.

we are doing my daughers 1st birthday party (Dec. 3) at a neural location. its a party room at a care center. we had my baby shower there too. its 25 for the four hours and we get the money back as long as the room is clean. you could try that. :)

we are doing my daughers 1st birthday party (Dec. 3) at a neural location. its a party room at a care center. we had my baby shower there too. its 25 for the four hours and we get the money back as long as the room is clean. you could try that. :)

we are doing my daughers 1st birthday party (Dec. 3) at a neural location. its a party room at a care center. we had my baby shower there too. its 25 for the four hours and we get the money back as long as the room is clean. you could try that. :)

we are doing my daughers 1st birthday party (Dec. 3) at a neural location. its a party room at a care center. we had my baby shower there too. its 25 for the four hours and we get the money back as long as the room is clean. you could try that. :)

Do the birthday at your house but extend the invite to ur in laws. if they decline it's not ur problem. atleast when your kid asks you "mommy, why didn't my grandparents come"? you tell them "you grandparents CHOSE not to come". plus it save a whole lot of extra drama. and you don't need drama. Best Wishes. happy birthday. xoxo

Do the birthday at your house but extend the invite to ur in laws. if they decline it's not ur problem. atleast when your kid asks you "mommy, why didn't my grandparents come"? you tell them "you grandparents CHOSE not to come". plus it save a whole lot of extra drama. and you don't need drama. Best Wishes. happy birthday. xoxo

This is what I wanted to write too. what is his reason for saying no? I wouldn't be able to accept that. If he doesn't want to have a party then he should go out for a few hours. I am exaggerating, but you get my drift. Invite the in laws like the pp said, but I wouldn't accept a no on this from your husband. No, you can't have our kids first birthday party in it's own home? Doesn't make sense to me unless I am missing something. Some moms I know do the party on the actual day even if they were born on a Tuesday with moms and babies only, that's fun too.

This is what I wanted to write too. what is his reason for saying no? I wouldn't be able to accept that. If he doesn't want to have a party then he should go out for a few hours. I am exaggerating, but you get my drift. Invite the in laws like the pp said, but I wouldn't accept a no on this from your husband. No, you can't have our kids first birthday party in it's own home? Doesn't make sense to me unless I am missing something. Some moms I know do the party on the actual day even if they were born on a Tuesday with moms and babies only, that's fun too.

My LOs first Birthday is 12/15.DH doesn't want to have a party either. I can kinda understand but I'm inviting my parents over and he'll have to get over it. ( He doesn't like my family) but Oh well,LO only turns one once. I don't understand why he's mandating the location? You need to talk to him.

My LOs first Birthday is 12/15.DH doesn't want to have a party either. I can kinda understand but I'm inviting my parents over and he'll have to get over it. ( He doesn't like my family) but Oh well,LO only turns one once. I don't understand why he's mandating the location? You need to talk to him.

while I don't know the whole story here this just doesn't seem right. Is there a particular reason he doesn't want a party thrown at ur house like having a small home or etc? Or does he specifically feel the party has to happen at his mom's house? Cause if so you trully need to put ur foot down. If that is the case he sounds like an immature Mama's boy who needs to learn his Mommy doesn't and will not run his family and if you consent to this he will only continue on with this attitude.

while I don't know the whole story here this just doesn't seem right. Is there a particular reason he doesn't want a party thrown at ur house like having a small home or etc? Or does he specifically feel the party has to happen at his mom's house? Cause if so you trully need to put ur foot down. If that is the case he sounds like an immature Mama's boy who needs to learn his Mommy doesn't and will not run his family and if you consent to this he will only continue on with this attitude.

Why do we need to throw a party and sink so munch money into something when the kid's not going to remember any of it anyway?

OP, here's what you do.

Tell him to suck it up, the cash is going to spent regardless of how he feels, because it's something *you* want. Then, later down the line, when there's something *he* wants to do FOR THE KID, then *he* can do it.

If he can't agree to that, then just shove him to the side and do it.

Here's a typical man thought on the first birthday party:

Why do we need to throw a party and sink so munch money into something when the kid's not going to remember any of it anyway?

OP, here's what you do.

Tell him to suck it up, the cash is going to spent regardless of how he feels, because it's something *you* want. Then, later down the line, when there's something *he* wants to do FOR THE KID, then *he* can do it.

If it's really important to you I think I would try to tell your husband that it isn't your inlaw's responsibility to throw your daughter's first birthday party (and if you would be paying for everything there anyway, I don't see how that would be saving any costs). Maybe try again to get him to see how important it is for you, the mother, to throw your daughter's first birthday party. We didn't have much money for a party either, but it worked. I had cheap construction paper and cut out circles of different sizes and colours and threw a polka-dot themed party (I was actually really happy with the way it came out). We also had the party from 1-4 so that no one was expecting a meal. People who asked if there was anything they could do to help, I asked them if they could bring an appy for people to snack on. So all we had to buy was drinks, and we made the cake (had our daughter help stir, and lick the spoons- cute pictures). You could even have baby help make some thank you cards (scribbling or finger paints and with stickers) that say "Thank you for coming to my first birthday" to give to your guests as a party favour.

Maybe if you told your husband some ideas that would help save costs he'd be more keen. But in the end- he doesn't get the complete say. It's a decision that both of you get to make together.

If it's really important to you I think I would try to tell your husband that it isn't your inlaw's responsibility to throw your daughter's first birthday party (and if you would be paying for everything there anyway, I don't see how that would be saving any costs). Maybe try again to get him to see how important it is for you, the mother, to throw your daughter's first birthday party. We didn't have much money for a party either, but it worked. I had cheap construction paper and cut out circles of different sizes and colours and threw a polka-dot themed party (I was actually really happy with the way it came out). We also had the party from 1-4 so that no one was expecting a meal. People who asked if there was anything they could do to help, I asked them if they could bring an appy for people to snack on. So all we had to buy was drinks, and we made the cake (had our daughter help stir, and lick the spoons- cute pictures). You could even have baby help make some thank you cards (scribbling or finger paints and with stickers) that say "Thank you for coming to my first birthday" to give to your guests as a party favour.

Maybe if you told your husband some ideas that would help save costs he'd be more keen. But in the end- he doesn't get the complete say. It's a decision that both of you get to make together.

It's your babys party. Stand up to your husband. Have it at home. Do a little baking. Go to the dollar store. It won't cost too much if you shop around. Its a memorable birthday!!! Do it the way you want.

It's your babys party. Stand up to your husband. Have it at home. Do a little baking. Go to the dollar store. It won't cost too much if you shop around. Its a memorable birthday!!! Do it the way you want.

thanks all for relpaying but now guess what he said it is ok to have a party but still at his parents and i will do everything and we dcide that we will have a turkey and stuffing and drniks.,so i thoughit was going tp be like 20 to 25 pp only and should be afrom 2 pm to 5 pm or something.yesterday i came back from work and the tireky idea denid cuz the ****ing in laws said it is embressing to have a turkey, and they want to invite 55 ppl and they want to have in a resturant and from 5 pm to 11 pm and serve alchole. and the dad in law said it wil cost only 500 which i don't see how! and they want to have in the middle eastern place, so the plan changed again.so i told him let's pack out stuff and go have over my brother house and jst ur parents and that is it and of course the said no, they r ****ing asswholes. so now what?

and plz for the post about the hall can u gve me more info plz.

thank

thanks all for relpaying but now guess what he said it is ok to have a party but still at his parents and i will do everything and we dcide that we will have a turkey and stuffing and drniks.,so i thoughit was going tp be like 20 to 25 pp only and should be afrom 2 pm to 5 pm or something.yesterday i came back from work and the tireky idea denid cuz the ****ing in laws said it is embressing to have a turkey, and they want to invite 55 ppl and they want to have in a resturant and from 5 pm to 11 pm and serve alchole. and the dad in law said it wil cost only 500 which i don't see how! and they want to have in the middle eastern place, so the plan changed again.so i told him let's pack out stuff and go have over my brother house and jst ur parents and that is it and of course the said no, they r ****ing asswholes. so now what?

You are getting walked on. I dint event the need for a turkey or a full meal. Appetizers are plenty and of course cake and ice cream. Have party activities for the KIDS in attendance and the other adults should just be there. It's not about them and using see the need entertain them. (alcohol). I would just say tell dh and his family it's moms job to plan the party and do what YOU want. Don't let them walk all over you this way. You teach people how to treat you. Stop this from happening for the rest of your life.

You are getting walked on. I dint event the need for a turkey or a full meal. Appetizers are plenty and of course cake and ice cream. Have party activities for the KIDS in attendance and the other adults should just be there. It's not about them and using see the need entertain them. (alcohol). I would just say tell dh and his family it's moms job to plan the party and do what YOU want. Don't let them walk all over you this way. You teach people how to treat you. Stop this from happening for the rest of your life.

to be honest it won't be any kids cuz i have no friends and no family here it is al his family side and they r all adult, plus i have been forced even to invite ppl i don't even know and loke.so we had huge arrguement cuz i told them no i don't want to invite these ppl and if it is up to me i would take my dd and dh and just go over to LA and have it there between my family and friends and lots of kids which will make more sence for dd to enjoy and have fun. So dh said u don'tdare threat my family like that and we went on on on about how his family want to do it their way and it just birthday not a wedding.i am just thinking to call it off and just go out for dinner just the 3 of us and tha is it.

to be honest it won't be any kids cuz i have no friends and no family here it is al his family side and they r all adult, plus i have been forced even to invite ppl i don't even know and loke.so we had huge arrguement cuz i told them no i don't want to invite these ppl and if it is up to me i would take my dd and dh and just go over to LA and have it there between my family and friends and lots of kids which will make more sence for dd to enjoy and have fun. So dh said u don'tdare threat my family like that and we went on on on about how his family want to do it their way and it just birthday not a wedding.i am just thinking to call it off and just go out for dinner just the 3 of us and tha is it.

What I would do is... I would tell him fine no party then purchase everything you want for the theme not like food and stuff unless you have specifics there so let's say you want Tomas plates and napkins buy all that then agree to a party at there house... Then why would they buy the stuff you already have it.. :)

What I would do is... I would tell him fine no party then purchase everything you want for the theme not like food and stuff unless you have specifics there so let's say you want Tomas plates and napkins buy all that then agree to a party at there house... Then why would they buy the stuff you already have it.. :)

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