Rob Zombie

He claimed he would be swearing off horror for a while to delve into other genres, but Rob Zombie isn’t keeping his word. There’s more movies and music to be made and Zombie seems like he’s Never Gonna Stop. I’m more than cool with his self-defiance. The hard working and hard rocking horror icon, a.k.a Rob Cummings, will be unleashing his own brand of hell onto the Starland Ballroom is Sayreville, NJ on Saturday, June 6th 2015. It’s the Super Monster Sex Action Tour, and it’s gonna be insane.

Zombie’s ability to churn out new music is astounding. This guy is a creative machine. For Zombie fans, each of his albums have consistently delivered, all while throwing up a middle finger to the mainstream. I’m hoping a few new tracks will be unveiled at the sold out show.

How does he do it all? I have a hard time working, blogging, and putting the dishes away, but this guy writes and directs films AND tours in support of albums crammed with songs he writes and records with his band. Whatever magic juice he’s drinking, gimme some of that!

In the movie realm, on the horizon for Zombie is his own crowdfunded horror film, 31. Early clues such as plot, storyboards, and character design point to this being the best work of his career, which is encouraging for people who were left underwhelmed by The Lords of Salem. Not saying it’s a great film, but personally, I enjoyed it.

Also coming up, he’ll be executive producing and providing some voice work for the animated The Hills Have Eyes: The Beginning. Getting Zombie on board for an installment in this franchise couldn’t be more in his wheelhouse, it’s a total no-brainer.

Back to the topic of Zombie’s concerts – they are always quite a spectacle. You won’t be hearing any A Capella or harmonizing, it’s all about the rock. You’ll have a bad case of rockneck from all the headbanging. He often throws in some surprises too. For instance, last year, at his concert in Camden, NJ, Zombie brought out the Catman himself, Peter Criss, for a special performance of “God of Thunder.” He eloquently urged his legion of fans in a courteous manner that, “Now would be the time to take out those stupid fucking phones, you might want to film this…” You can check out the entire clip courtesy of Jim Powers’ YouTube account below.

At one time, Jersey guy Tom Papa used to smoke weed. In Freaked Out, his 2013 Epix stand-up comedy special, he reveals that he has a reminder on his body from the times he used to get high years ago. He looks back on how stupid he was and how he doesn’t wear shorts anymore because of this bad tattoo of a gnome he got…in New Jersaaaay.

“I just picked it off a wall in New Jersey. I wouldn’t pick a t-shirt off a wall in New Jersey…”

Stuff like that is even funnier when you realize it’s coming from a Jersey guy. Surprisingly, I’d never seen Papa’s stand up act, but I was certainly intrigued to see the advertisement teasing the special which aired on Epix Network on Rob Zombie’s Twitter a while back.

At first, I just assumed Zombie was friends with Papa having casted him as the voice of El Superbeasto, but then I went to IMDB and noticed that he was actually a “consulting producer” of this special. It’s no wonder either, considering it’s saturated in ’70s stylings complete with sparkly dancers who provide a choreographed intro for Papa as he appeared on stage. The stage and backdrop looked like it was a remnant straight from a ’70s variety show. It was over the top and very much my speed.

Aside from the intro and the amusing backdrop, we get to witness Papa be the funny motherf*cker he is. I’m glad I watched it because I had a good time. I actually laughed out loud quite a bit. I usually rank a comedian by if he/she actually makes me laugh out loud. It’s easy to say a comedian or actor is funny, but do they actually make you laugh? Check out Tom Papa Freaked Out and determine that for yourself. The hour goes fast. Presently, the special is streaming on Netflix.

*Papa was born in Passaic NJ, grew up in Woodcliff Lake and graduated Rider University – A Jersey guy through and through!

I’m shocked that Rob Zombie’s Halloween 2 didn’t fare too well at the box office this past weekend. Are people still skeptical about this beloved horror franchise being in Zombie’s demonic hands? I figured they would’ve gotten over that by now. Or is it just that moviegoers would rather watch crappy, uninspired retreads? If you saw Halloween 2 this weekend here’s my question to you: Would you have been more satisfied by a run of the mill Halloween film on par with every installment released from ’88 – ’02?

Zombie’s Halloween 2 didn’t live up to my expectations as a Halloween film nor as a Rob Zombie film. The film was well made, but the atmospheric tension and creepiness that the 1978 original had in abundance seemed to be tossed aside. Even Zombie’s first Halloween outing retained some of that mood. Halloween 2 didn’t even feature John Carpenter’s Halloween theme music until the end. This sequel served as an excellent follow up to Zombie’s Halloween reimagining, but not for the franchise as a whole.

In contrast to 2009’s Friday the 13th reboot, Zombie’s Halloween 2 seems to grant Michael Myers freedom to grow, whereas Jason Voorhees remains basically the same. Is that what we want? One dimensional horror icons? We want them to be what we expect them to be, nothing more, nothing less. They should kill, they should be scary, and they need to maintain a consistent look. In Halloween 2, that Shatner mask started to look like someone actually SHAT on it. Like in Nolan’s Batman Begins and The Dark Knight, every facet of the film is based in reality to help refresh Batman’s story and supply the franchise with endurance to last far into the future. Clearly, Michael Myer’s mask wouldn’t have stayed pearly white with all the schmutz he gets all over it. Zombie gave it a valiant effort, and no matter how derided, his vision for the Halloween films served to inject new life into the franchise.

To bring the greatness of Zombie’s first Halloween into focus, here’s a list of what made it so frigging cool.

10. Sherri Moon is ridiculously hot.

9. The opening scene blasts KISS’ “God of Thunder,” aside from the usual KISS songs, this underrated track hasn’t appeared in many films at all. Zombie deserves credit for having the balls to showcase it in his movie, which means he’s not embarrassed about being a KISS fan. White Zombie covered the song for an EP and on the VH1 Rock Honors Rob Zombie sang lead vocals on the track while joined by a supergroup including Ace Frehley, Slash, Tommy Lee, Scott Iian, and Gilby Clarke. Even young Michael Myers is wearing a KISS Destroyer t-shirt.

The KISS t-shirt is a sign of the times and it adds to the macabre tone. One of the underlying themes of the film involves Michael Myers’ reliance on masks to cover up his tortured soul, so it’s appropriate to make reference to KISS’ ghastly faces.

8. It’s clear that Malcolm McDowell was a fine choice for Loomis. McDowell puts a very different and interesting spin on the character. F-cking Shirtuckers!

7. Not taking anything away from the 1978 original since it’s the best film of it’s kind, but there’s more layers to this films story. We discover that Michael Myers has an Oedipus Complex which is ripe for dissection in film class.

6. Shit, I would have an Oedipus Complex too. Look. OMG. OMG.

5. In this film we come to realize that Michael Myers is quite a ladies man! Look how he fondles sister’s leg:

2. The doucher Paul (Max Van Ville) who Annie’s making out with follows that line up with “It’s so fucking warm” WTF??? Before that Annie scolded him for almost ruining her expensive sweater, “…hey, don’t pull it like that, you’re gonna stretch it all out! Stop it…this is expensive idiot!”

If Dimension films wants to continue the exploits of Michael Myers at this point, they sure as hell can. Michael Myers always comes back, and at this point perhaps the fans would enjoy a more traditional take on the character. But after we’ve seen Zombie’s tragic and psychotic look behind Myers’ mask, would an archetypical Halloween film really impress us?

I went totally overboard. According to the title of this borderline fruitily titled meme, it’s intended to be limited to 20 men I admire, but once I started thinking about who I’d like to put on the list I wound up coming up with so many more. They aren’t listed in any specific order.

1) My Dad – He put up with all my bullshit for so many years. He’s taken me to countless wrestling events, KISS concerts, and cheesy movies. He’s supported me, shared in my enthisaism about stuff he probably really doesn’t care about, and always makes sure I have enough food in my fridge. When I was a kid the stuff he did seperated him from my friends dads and other father’s I came in contact with because he would go the extra mile. Every Friday night he’d bring me home a Super hero toy or an LJN wrestling figure and after dinner he’d spend the rest of the night playing action figures with me. On Saturday mornings he would even go so far as to be skeletor with the evil side of the power sword to my He-Man. The best times I shared with my dad were the times when we’d go on a trek to the comic book store, and then I’d help him pick up some groceries. It was simple but we’d talk about everything from The Beatles to the art of pool chlorination and filtration. My Dad is the man. Like Will Ferrel says at his wedding in Old School “…I love you Dad!”

2) Hugh Hefner – Sure it’s nice to have sex with thousands of the most beautiful women on earth at your whim, but there’s another aspect of Hugh that I respect even more and that’s his career. He completed his mission…OK well YES, he did complete his “mission” several thousand times but as far as journalism goes, Hugh is a legend. He transformed a periodical that was deemed pornographic and lewd into not only a worldwide multimillion dollar company, but what people forget is that Playboy is a serious magazine. It’s the pinnacle. I don’t write that to be tongue in cheek, I mean it in the way that Edgar Frog told Sam in The Lost Boys that Batman #14 “…is a serious book man.” Any aspiring journalist would shave their eyebrows and punch themselves in their ball sack for a chance to have even a minor blurb published in Playboy. Tons of men andwomen read the magazine. It features original fiction, serious news articles, and the BEST interviews you will read ANYWHERE on the planet; they’re better than any interview you’ll see on television or radio. Hugh has lived the life every man has dreamed of, and he’s lived the life every aspiring journalist has dreamed of to infinity.

3)Butch Walker – Butch had his 15 minutes of fame, or should I say 45 minutes of fame in the bands Southgang, Marvelous 3, and The Floyd’s. After going solo several years later he created his own independent label to release his music so he doesn’t have to deal with typical record label bullshit. Butch’s music has never received the accolades it deserves but he keeps doing what he’s the best at. He can write hit songs, play multiple instruments, and perfectly produce music. He’s in control of his own music which means his brilliant music can now be released from his brain to Pro Tools straight to his fans. Butch is also an highly sought after producer and has worked on albums with Avril Lavigne, Pink, The Donnas, All American Rejects ugh…Fall Out Boy, and literally a slew of others.

4) Kevin Smith The goal I had since I was about 8 years old was to become a film director. Once I got past filming a feature about a teen with alcohol addiction, and several years of backyard wrestling events, I moved on to making actual no-budget films. The majority of the shorts and features were comedic but I also made a thriller. During this time, Jersey guy Kevin Smith was hitting big with Clerks, and Mallrats and he reinforced my crazy idea. I thought maybe my aspirations weren’t as ridiculous as they sounded. Smith worked with a low budget on most of his films, put his friends in his films, and created his own View Askewniverse. My friends and family began to think I had more of a shot. Almost 15 years since Clerks, Kevin Smith is only getting better. If you haven’t seen Zack & Miri Make a Porno then GET IT! It’s hysterical! It hits stores on 2/3/09.

5) Johnny Depp – the best person to exist in the universe. I appreciate all of his performances: Jack Sparrow, Ichabod Crane, Cry-Baby, Glen Lantz, Edward Scissorhands, Willy Wonka…etc.

7) Slash – A couple of years after I stopped pretending I was Alex P. Keaton and Marty McFly, I began to go into “Saul Hudson” mode. I would put my GNR t-shirt on, (which I still have) and throw a black t-shirt over my head and pretended it was his hair. I didn’t have a top hat, but cut me some slack…I was 7. While everyone loved Axl and wanted to slink around like he did, I wanted to be the “guitarist with mystique” = Slash. You should definitely read his book if you are at all interested in hard rock from the ’80s.

9) James Franco – To say James Franco is talented and versatile is an understatement. He is a star. He’s the type of person that I admire because he’s just a laid back kind of guy. He’s hysterical in Pineapple Express, on SNL, and his skits on Funny or Die yet he can be very serious in films like Milk, James Dean, and the Spider Man series.

10) Sebastian Bach – When promoting his starring role in Broadway’s Jekyll and Hyde Sebastian always said he went “from Skid Row to Saville Row.” After Skid Row kicked him out or they broke up, Bach went out on his own. I consider his latest CD Angel Down one of the best hard rock/metal records in the past several years. I saw his performance in Jekyll and Hyde 3 times and it was literally enthralling. If you felt that Heath Ledger embodied the Joker in The Dark Knight, then you would definitely agree that Bach lost himself in the dual role. Bach even won CMT’s Country music competition “Gone Country.” Bach has a big enough name and such a superior voice that he calls the shots in his career. He doesn’t need Skid Row at all. I could care less if he acts like a big dork, he’s a real guy, a major fanboy, and he also lives in Jersey!

11) Seth Mcfarlane – a master of two of my favorite things: animation and voice acting.

12) Barack Obama – no matter your ethnicity or political party, Barack exhibits a natural demeanor, intelligence, and superior speaking skills that may help him go down in history as one of our great presidents.

13) Danny Devito – He’s f’n hysterical whether I’m watching Taxi or Always Sunny. Maybe not so much Tim Burton’s Penguin but I’ll forgive him on that one. Devito is from Neptune, New Jersey.

14) Jon Stewart – All news broadcasts should be cancelled and every channel should simulcast the daily show. It”s like Mary Poppins, a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down. Stewarts humor and cool attitude make news more palatable. You can learn about the serious issues in the world while laughing your ass off.

15) Bobby Ewing – I’m not sure if fictional characters are allowed in this list but who cares?Bobby Ewing (Patrick Duffy) from Dallas was the classic good guy. He was smart, physically fit, and fiercely loving to his family. As perfect as he seemed, I always appreciated that his character was never without flaws. Bobby was a loose canon and would knock a guy out if he looked at him the wrong way. Most of all, he scored Pam who was super sexy fine.

16) Peter Billingsley – He went from shooting his eye out and wearing a pink bunny suit to producing, directing, and acting in a bunch of big hit movies. You’ll probably be watching him for 24 hours every year on Christmas for the rest of your life.

17) Lorne Michaels – Genius producer and former writer of SNL, (among other movies and television shows).

18) Brian De Palma – In a way, I consider Jersey guy De Palma a revivalist filmmaker. I appreciate his suspenseful tension build ups and how he creates an eerie atmosphere in some of his films. Rather than turn his back on us, he embraces his Jersey roots unlike so many others who “went Hollywood.”

19) Nikki Sixx – The epitome of rock star. He did so many drugs that he died for several seconds, came back, and rocked even harder. He wrote his own book and started several side projects such as Sixx A.M. Sixx has his own clothing line and has scored hot chicks like Donna D’errico and presently Kat Von D.

20) Ted McGinley – The most underrated actor ever. I wish Ted McGinley started to get leading roles in major motion pictures. Just like Tarantino revived Travolta’s career, I plan on morphing Ted into a phoenix.

21) Walt Disney – Disregarding the cash machine that Disney films and theme parks have become, Walt’s original vision was that of childlike wonder. A personal touch was always given by Walt when he used to introduce his own TV shows. He made you feel like you knew him personally. It’s truly amazing how his dream is still being carried out today. I doubt Disney will ever be the company it once was, but Walt’s genius and creativity will resonate forever.

22) Quentin Tarantino – I can’t say I live and die by his films, and I wouldn’t consider him an idol or anything, but I admire Tarantino for his “this is my film and I’m going to make it exactly the way I want it” attitude. Regardless of the fact that he makes films that may not be box office hits, he makes the movies HE WANTS TO SEE. That’s every filmmakers dream. His style and trademarks are borrowed from other eras but when you’re watching one of his films you know it’s Tarantino.

23) Jeff Hardy – It seems to be the time for hardcore fans to finally get their shot at the real deal. Jeff and his brother Matt grew up as hardcore wrestling fans. They wrestled non stop in their yard, cut promos, and filmed themselves. Once they made it to the big time it took several years for them to finally gain the respect they deserve. Jeff is presently the WWE champ and his brother is the ECW champ. From fans to backyard wrestlers to jobbers to WWE champs. It’s the new kind of “Do it yourself” fame. Hard work and dedication actually do pay off.

24) Dane Cook – Same goes for Dane Cook. I got to see him several years before anyone knew his name. Myspace didn’t even exist at the time. He promoted himself and he was in touch with his fans. He gave Hollywood and the media no option but to take notice of him. Through relentlessly touring comedy clubs all over the country and furiously gaining friends on Myspace, Dane carved his own place in comedy history.

25) David Robinson – One of my first real life heroes. David Robinson was a different type of player. He spoke eloquently, he was extremely intelligent, humble, and a standout center for the San Antonio Spurs. He wasn’t a cocky jerk on the court and he was very passionate about his family and religion. It seemed like David could’ve succeeded at anything. He’s retired now, but for many years he was a major role model of mine and even though I shot hoops every day of my life, I would never be a quarter as good as the admiral.

26) Howard Stern – The most influential personality in my entire life. When I was a kid, I would stay up late to watch the channel 9 show and used to record the radio broadcast when I was at school. He was a true inspiration for a radio geek like me.

27) Vince McMahon – The mad genius of the wrestling business. Think what you want about him, but know that the majority of people in the country would have no idea what WWF was if it wasn’t for Vince, his father’s vision, and his partnership with Terry Bollea in the early ’80s.

28) Gene Simmons – I know it’s the most unpopular answer since everyone thinks he’s such a heel but if you think about it, he’s pretty much one of the coolest guys on the planet. His character of the Demon has permeated every facet of pop culture. Should we really fault a guy for his maniacal business savvy? If people keep buying, he’ll keep selling. Don’t you think we’re the culprits?

29) William Zabka – You know him to show “No Mercy.” He’s been called Johnny Lawrence, Greg Tolan, Chas, and Jack from European Vacation. Zabka’s one of the most notorious jerk in all of movies, perhaps only 2nd to Spader.

Others that would’ve made the list if I the title was 50 Men I Admire: Will Ferrel, Michael J Fox, Frank Lloyd Wright, George Carlin, Judd Apatow, Michael Keaton, Mickey Rourke,Bruce Springsteen, Sylvester Stallone, Stanley Kubrick, Bruce Willis

Everyone’s bound to experience one of those “uh-oh” moments if an embarrassing song starts playing on your iPod. Picture it, you’re rolling down the main street of your town, windows down, iPod on shuffle mode, and you have your friends in the car. Right after rocking out to “Welcome to the Jungle,” you hear the beginning chords of “Sexy Boy” the Shawn Michaels’ theme song or the Native American war chant that kicks off Tatanka’s theme song. Some of you may not even realize that they’re both WWE theme songs and in that case you may sidestep some shame. Although, you have to admit that at least a little part of you would squirm in your seat a bit.

How about when your iPod segues from Rob Zombie’s “Superbeast” right into “How Will I Know” by Whitney Houston? It’s totally cool to have Whitney on your iPod, especially if its one of her big hits, but when you’re in the car with a bunch of guy friends, and at the very least trying to act cool, your attempts are murdered by the sweet sound of synthesizers. You can win people over with goofy favorites like Wham’s “Wake Me Up Before you Go-Go,” but if their song “Freedom” comes on then your stock descends faster than the Delorean running low on plutonium. (pre-Mr. Fusion of course)

Having your friends ask you to unlock their car doors so they could tumble out while you’re still driving is a possibility if they hear you have the Baywatch theme song on your iPod. Whereas “Break the Ice” by John Farnham from the Rad soundtrack will actually give you street cred with those “in the know.” It’s possible to save yourself when a song comes on that the person doesn’t know but you’ll have to have a good enough story and reason for giving it the push to your almighty iPod. Here’s some examples: You can be forgiven for having Winger’s “Seventeen,” since it’s fun and nostalgic, but once you start digging into their catalog and “Out for the Count” from Karate Kid 3 comes on, then there’s not much that can save you at that point. Don’t let me forget “California” by Phantom Planet. It’s not really the song’s fault as much as it’s what I do when I’m listening to it. I reminisce about scenes from the O.C in a blurry, dramatic, tear-laden montage in my mind. I’ll dig deeper for you as I present a compendium of some of the most embarrassing songs on my iPod:

The Oompa Loopa Song from Willy Wonka & The Chocolate FactoryWWE Songs – The Boogeyman theme “Im the Boogeyman and I’m coming to get you!” andLand of a Thousand DancesPlay That Funky Music by Vanilla Ice – Shit, how is it that you’re the life of the party if you play “Ninja Rap,” but you may as well crawl into a kitchen cabinet if “Roll ‘em Up” comes on.Skeet Surfin’ by Nick Rivers/Val Kilmer – Top Secret SoundtrackTeenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Theme Song – Even though they’re the world’s most fearsome fighting team, you’re friend’s cut you no slack. Just hearing this theme emerge from a segue will always illicit some sort of heckle, so you’re lucky if you’re in the car with a fellow fan boy. That date of yours sure won’t be impressed that you’d rather listen to theme songs of old cartoons rather than Ne-Yo or Rhianna.Other TV Theme Songs – Muppet Show, Charles in Charge, Mr. Belvedere, Perfect Strangers, Pee wee’s Playhouse Theme by Ellen Shaw (Cyndi Lauper). An interesting fact is that the Saved by the Bell theme song is always an overwhelming cross gender favorite.King Tut – Steve Martin It’s a very funny song, but trying to hustle it to someone who’s never heard it proves challenging.I’m Breathlesssongs inspired by the film Dick Tracy by Madonna Depending on your company in the car this album was obviously more embarrassing than Swept Away and Shangai Surprise combined.Video Game Theme Songs – The magical songs from Alex Kidd in Miracle World make you come off like a real geek but you can get away with songs from Out Run because they sound like some underground new wave revival band from NYC. You can’t go wrong with the Super Mario brothers theme.I Wanna Have Some Fun – Samantha FoxDa Ya Think I’m Sexy? by Rod Stewart – I don’t care, I still love it.Hot Rod Hearts – Robbie DupreeGive it To Me Baby – Rick JamesParty All the Time by Eddie Murphy and Rick JamesBruce by Rick Springfield here Rick talks about how he gets mistaken for “The Boss.”Dancing In Heaven (Orbital Be-bop) by Q-Feel, Girls Just Want to Have Fun soundtrackSexyback – Poison rips off Justin TimberlakeGet this Party Started by Pink This is on the list just for being too girly.Glory of Love – Peter Cetera from the Karate Kid part 2 soundtrackChristmas songs up the wazoo – Merry Christmas Baby by my fav. Pepe the Prawn and R2D2 We Wish You a Merry Christmas! with vocals by Jon Bon Jovi! Girls definitely take heed when they are informed that Jon Bon Jovi appears on the song.Paula Abdul Songs – Straight up, Cold Hearted Snake. Remember the video for Cold Hearted Snake that was freakin’ hot at the timeStars are Blind by Paris HiltonPhysical by Olivia Newton John (It fulfills my ’80s aerobic girl fetish)Step by Step by New Kids on the BlockCall Me Back by Mike Flowers PopsNotorious by LoverboyTake It Higher by Larry Greene, Over the Top SoundtrackPlaying with the Boys by Kenny Loggins, Top Gun Soundtrack. Apparently the scene that it plays in is called “homoerotic.” Strange…I didn’t realize a bunch of sweaty, shirtless guys in cut off jean shorts playing volleyball was at all gay.Ewok Celebration/Finale by John Williams Affectionately known as the “Yub, Yub Song.” You’re pretty much slayed like a Rancor Monster if you get caught with this one playing.We Don’t Have to Take Our Clothes Off by Jermaine StewartFlashdance…what a Feeling by Irene CaraHoward the Duck performed by Lea Thompson and Holly Robinson PeeteSongs from The Grease 2 Soundtrack – Score Tonight, Who’s that Guy? among others.Rock and Roll Part 2 by Gary Glitter. A top contender for most embarrassing track on my iPod since Glitter is a convicted pedophile. I hope I’m not denied entry into the plane to Vegas because I have this!Anything by Franz FerdinandWho’s Johnny – El DebargeKookie by Ed ByrnesThe Last Dragon by Dwight David, The Last Dragon SoundtrackSmooth Up in Ya – BulletboysPorno Star by Buckcherry Ok this one is literally embarrassing. Imagine if your parents are in the car and the lyrics “don’t you know we fuck for money, I’m a big dick motherfucking porno star” blast through the speakers?About Us by Brooke HoganI’ve Had the Time of My Life by Bill Medley/Jennifer Warnes, Dirty Dancing SoundtrackCopa Cabana by Barry ManilowSolid as Rock by Ashford and SimpsonSoldier of Love by Donny Osmond

I want to know…what are some of the most embarrassing tracks on your iPod?

Whenever a Horror or Pop Culture convention rolls through town I always wind up missing it. I used to make it an event and go with my Dad every year but as I got older and actually started working full time, the weekend became a time to cram everything in that I neglect during the week. Even though weekends are busy, I’m realizing life is too short and I should be doing things that I enjoy. If going to a concert is the best way for me to spend my hard earned cash, then blowing the rest of it at a convention is a close runner up. In fact, not only did I make it to a convention this weekend, but as soon as I got back from my near hour drive I was off to Crue Fest at the PNC Bank Arts Center. Talk about a jam packed day of pop culture!

Chiller Theatre is the most well known Horror & Nostalgia show in the Tri-State area. It attracts a slew of actors, musicians, and personalities from horror movies and pop culture. Another convention that has made a big name for itself in the past several years is Monster Mania. Monster Mania took place at the Crowne Plaza in Cherry Hill and featured Robert Englund, A Lost Boys Reunion, and a Halloween Reunion.

Getting overwhelmed at one of these shows is ridiculously easy. If you’ve never been to one I’d actually advise you to NOT bring too much cash because you WILL unload it ALL! There’s so many vendors and sellers that have copious amounts of “stuff.” It all happens to be “stuff” that you NEED! From obscure bootleg horror movies to rare action figures and magazines, you will find it all at a convention. It’s almost like a flea marketexcept it only sells the coolest crap. When walking around one of these events you might forget eBay ever existed because everything you ever wanted, and everything you didn’t even realize you wanted is all there spread out in the hotel’s convention centers. And oh…did I mention the celebs? Ok, we’re not talking A-listers like George Clooney but people who are much closer to our hearts. You might want to take your picture with Freddy Krueger himself, Robert Englund. He’s such a cool guy that he’ll put the glove on and ham it up as Freddy in your picture. That’s a photo op that you’ll tell people about for the rest of your life! Adam West did a similar thing for me also. The personalities that appear at these events are usually people who love to interact with their fans.

The real grabber for me, aside from The Two Coreys, was Danielle Harris. I spent most of my life having a major crush on her. One of the main reasons is because I used to watch the Halloween 4 and 5 and I related to her since we were almost the same age. I remained a fan through the movies that followed although they weren’t big budget films nor were they easy to find. The overlooked Killer Budactually became one of my favorites. Who knew that she’d have such a resurgence with Rob Zombie’s Halloween? When I found out that she would be coming back for the Zombie version I turned into a smitten little bitch all over again. I was waiting for her name to appear on the guest list at one of these horror conventions and sure enough, she was signed on to appear at Monster Mania along with some of the other stars of the Halloween series.

When I met her, I told Danielle that I brought her a Sexy Armpit T-Shirt, which was based off my blog. She actually said that it was really cool because she wears shirts people give her alot and the tank she was wearing was actually from a fan also. Danielle was cool enough to take a picture with me holding the shirt.

I never thought I’d say that I got to meet Corey Haim and Corey Feldman considering that I’ve seen basically all of their movies collectively. That’s a difficult task since there’s so many films that they’ve done which no one’s ever heard of. I haven’t just seen those, I own them. That’s how much of a dork I am. If you grew up in the ’80s and were young enough to think these guys were cool then you know what I mean. Heck, anyone who was always on the cover of Bop and Teen Beat were considered cool. It didn’t matter if you were a guy or a girl, you appreciated that crew. If it was Nicole Eggert or Alyssa Milano, or The Two Corey’s it was almost a prerequisite to revere them. If not, then you probably weren’t the right age. All I know is, their movies were all anyone my age talked about for a few years. Then it all got weird. Just like with Danielle Harris, I remained a fan.

Getting to meet The Two Corey’s was possibly the closest thing to surreal as it gets. For a kid who knows all their lines to their movies and used to mimic the things they did, I still can’t believe that I was talking to them face to face. I wasn’t really excited though, it was more weird than anything. I almost wet my pants when I met Nikki Sixx from Motley Crue but meeting The Two Corey’s just made me feel like I was having an outer body experience. I guess the possibility of meeting them never even crossed my mind.

I can’t say it was a let down, but Haim is out of his mind and Feldman is kind of a dick. Suzie just liked to horn in on Feldman’s every word and interaction. She was noticeably agitated that I was ignoring her and talking it up with her husband who’s actually talented. Thanks Yoko. I bet The Two Corey’s would still be on the air if it weren’t for you! I don’t give a crap if you were in Playboy! You’re mooching off the fame of one part of The Corey’s. Now that’s pretty much sabotaging yourself.

It was definitely hard to come up with something to say to these two. I knew I’d mention one of my favorite Feldman roles but Haim seemed so drugged up that he wasn’t even making much sense. Perhaps it’s true that all the years of drugs actually did fuck him up so bad that he has a major slur. Who knows. All I know is Haim told the kid before me in line that he was “very close to getting Robin.” That meant that he was in the contention for the role of Robin in the Batman film franchise. As far as I know there’s no plans for Robin in future Batman films AT ALL, so maybe I could get the role of Nightwing if I take whatever pills he had in his system!

As for Feldman, I tried to throw him a joke but he wasn’t too receptive. You would think he’d appreciate that some guy respects his work so much that he remembers a minor role he had from 1988 (Ricky Butler from “The ‘burbs”). I didn’t want to be like everyone else and talk about The Goonies. In fact, alot of the people were pulling the exact thing that he hated by asking him to say certain lines from some of his movies. That is kind of rude in a way because he’s not a sideshow, at least show him that much respect. I think I might react the way he did if I was put on the spot like that. The girl before me asked him to say a certain line from one of his films and he got noticeably perturbed and said “c’mon that was 20 years ago.” Damn these guys are bitter aren’t they?

I don’t think there’s such thing as a child star curse. I think it’s that certain people just can’t cope with not having fame. Fame provides them with self worth and that’s the unhealthy part. Who knows, they may not turn to drugs or create shitty bands like The Truth Movement if they truly loved themselves. Regardless of seeing how fucked up they really are, it was cool to meet them and I’ll never abandon their movies!

How can I forget to mention what I bought at Monster Mania? I picked up a fantastic Toxic Avenger box set at the Troma Films table. I’ve been trying to track down the complete set of Toxie films and I wanted to make sure that they had the ENTIRE animated series included as well. This box set has it all so I was happy to plunk down the cash for it, otherwise it would sit on my amazon wishlist forever.

Among all the fanboys and girls and just plain horror freaks, I noticed a lot of awesome tattoos. One nasty giantess wearing fishnets and an uncomfortably skimpy black number had a tattoo on her arm of David Bowie’s “Jareth” from Labyrinth. I would’ve commended her on it, but she scared the hell out of me and she was kinda gross! Luckily this girl was able to wash the bad taste out of my mouth:She had a kickass JEM tattoo that I noticed from about 10 feet away! I went up to her like my usual psycho self and said “yo! cool Jem tattoo! Can I take a picture?” She must’ve thought I was a weirdo, but who cares! lol.

If you haven’t made it out to a convention, make sure you experience one. You’ll have alot of fun, see alot of cool stuff for sale, and possibly meet some of your idols! What’s up next? Chiller Theatre!

Ahh, the wonders of eBay. White Zombie and Rob Zombie basically have the monopoly as far as artists go on my iPod’s Halloween playlist. Not that their music is “Halloween music” but it definitely fits. **”American Witch” off of his latest release Educated Horses get’s alot of play.

Back in 1998, Rob Zombie released his solo album Hellbilly Deluxe. I was always a big White Zombie fan and it blew my mind to hear how amazing Rob Zombie’s solo album was. Alot of the marketing and merch surrounding the release of the album had some kickass artwork. This shirt was always one I was meaning to order but kept putting it off because it was usually around $30.00, which always seems high for a T-Shirt.

I forgot about getting the shirt for a long time, but a month or so ago I decided to see if any online T-Shirt shops had it, but with no luck. I went over to eBay and sure enough someone was selling a brand new one! I snatched it up and I’m glad I did even if my sole purpose was to drool over the artwork.

I really love the way Zombie is made into a ghoulish monster but still retains his actual appearance to an extent. I want to be a ghoul too, I wish I could draw! In this artwork we also see a Wolf-Man, a Mummy woman, a ghost, and a hunchback. The artist seemed to have given the picture a Halloween vibe since there’s pumpkins, a bat, a black cat, and lots of cobwebs in the background.

I thought Rob Zombie might have overplayed his hand. Halloween hit theaters today and I was excited and intrigued by getting the chance to learn about Michael Myers back-story. Was the decision to delve into this killers past too risky? Would giving away too much of his early life make him less scary? At first, I thought it might have taken away from the big question mark that was Michael Myers. After all, Myer’s largely undefined past helps make him the ominous character he is. In this film it’s the realism of the character that makes him terrifying.

As I watched the plot develop it made so much sense when I understood where director Rob Zombie decided to go with the character. You may be a little bewildered by the mannerisms and unmanly behavior on the young Myers because he’s a character we know to be such a monster. All I can say is…have some patience. Early in the film we get to see so much striking footage of a young and messed up Michael Myers. I don’t want to give too much away, but he does some deranged things as a child and winds up in the mental institution where he’s cared for by Dr. Loomis (Malcolm McDowell). Loomis starts out long haired and youthful and as the film progresses we see Loomis in a more modern sense. (On a side note I left the theater and hopped in my car, only to have a white van with the company name of LOOMIS slapped right on the side of it!) The film advances periodically by one year and 10 year increments and then to the present. I enjoyed the jumps as it added not only to the sense of the plot but also the pacing.

Zombie used his “starting lineup.” You’ll see everyone from Sid Haig to Police Academy’s Sgt. Debbie Callahan! Bill Moseley turns up again and there’s even a cameo from The Monkee’s Micky Dolenz! Zombie’s wife Sherri Moon, who’s not playing Baby Firefly this time, turns in a potent performance as Michael Myers mother. For the past few months I’ve also been anticipating seeing Danielle Harris since she played Jamie in Halloween 4 & 5. Harris plays Laurie’s friend Annie. Annie’s a hot little number who has the honor of uttering one of the best lines an actress can ever say…“Ya wanna fuck me?” Harris’ delivery of that line will be ingrained in my head forever now. What is it with Zombie’s stuff that sticks in my head? I always have Baby’s line from House of 1,000 Corpses in my head: “You know we like to get fucked up?” And in White Zombie’s Thunderkiss ‘65 “I never try anything, I just do it. Want to try me?” Don’t be surprised if Harris’ “Ya wanna fuck me” sound byte turns up in one of Zombie’s songs. Hell I’d purposely write a song just as an excuse to use that sound byte. Ahh, Harris was such an innocent little girl. Now she’s topless and skanking it up for the majority of her performance. I love it. My one gripe is that all of the rumors lead me to believe that Sheri Moon was going to get naked but it didn’t happen. She does a stripping scene so I’m assuming there’s going to be an unrated DVD coming out with that scene extended for horn dogs like me. I had to settle for all the rest of the girls getting naked. It wasn’t so bad.

One of my favorite scenes that I think you should look out for is when Laurie and her friends are discussing the babysitting plan in order for Annie to be able to see her boyfriend. At that point Laurie sees Michael Myers standing by a tree staring at them for a moment. This scene is very reminiscent of a scene in the original film. Very creepy. Not to sound cliché but the finale is pretty damn pulse pounding. I was genuinely on the edge of my seat. Zombie did a fantastic job at reinventing Myers as a scary dude again.

If you didn’t enjoy House of 1,000 Corpses or The Devil’s Rejects and you’re worried about Zombie slashing the Halloween franchise to pieces don’t be scared! Zombie superbly captures the essence of the Halloween series while making it relevant again. The only thing I dread more than hiding from Michael Myers in an abandoned house is the thought of what producers are going to do with the franchise next. Zombie claims that he will not be part of any sequel or continuation, so this is a one time thing for him. Other horror films like Texas Chainsaw Massacre and The Omen have been “re-imagined” but there’s no comparison. This version of Halloween is freakin’ phenomenal.