“Time Marches on (For Carol the Bell Tolls)” Is the Metallica Mash-Up Your Holiday Season Needs

Metallica have never released a holiday album and, Hanneman who art South of Heaven willing, they never shall. I mean, I don’t think I even need to explain why that would be an awful idea.

Still, I know a lot of Metallica fans LOVE awful ideas because they think Metallica can do no wrong and Hetfield and Ulrich’s farts not only smell terrific respectively but combine, Wonder Twins-style, into one effluvious mega-scent.

For those fans who find the idea of going to their grave never having heard Metallica cover “Deck the Halls” or whatever, I present “Time Marches on (For the Carol Bell Tolls),” the latest expert mash-up from DJ Cummerbund. I hope it puts you in the holiday spirit. Ho ho ho. Pass the fucking egg nog.