political pictures

As Eminem once said, “You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow because opportunity knocks once in a lifetime.”

That’s how the son of Kansas Rep. Roger Marshall felt during a quick photo op at his father’s swearing in ceremony. As House Speaker Paul Ryan turned and smiled for the camera, Marshall’s son went for a quick, inconspicuous, and heroic dab.

That’s when Ryan, perhaps, smelling dissent in the air turned and shut it down, like so many public healthcare initiatives.

The boy, having just taken his only opportunity to embarrass his father, future self, and the guy who’s only dream is to have 100% privatized healthcare, put his hand down for the picture. The people, once again, have been crushed.

Aftermath:

Paul Ryan admits that he’s totally out of touch with young voters:

Rep. Marshall jails his son for something that’s clearly protected by the First Amendment:

If you know anything about 'Suicide Squad', then you know just how METHOD Jared Leto is. Like, seriously, this guy is EDGY and it sounds like he spent most of his time on set just making sure everyone was clear on that. Now that he's out of costume, it seems like he had a hard time letting go of the Joker's trademark green color. After the Suicide Squad premiere this outfit became part of a glorious photoshop battle because, well, this is the internet. It's what we do.

Primaries loom heavy on the horizon and we're all focused on the big, weighty stuff that matters, like who will run this country into the ground slow as possible, or potentially effect some real, quantifiable positive change—psyche.

Rubio's gleaming, stack-heeled ankle boots he wore whilst out campaigning in New Hampshire January 3rd, are the talk of the allegedly politically-savvy town. Look at these sick puppies:

And what would what appears as a percolating apocalyptic political fallout be without Rand Paul dropping a video on Twitter where we basically watch him put on a Rubio-mocking fashion show in Whoopi Goldberg's dressing room.

At least Rubio capitalized on all this child's play when he released the following statement that calls this clusterf*ck of nonsensical schoolyard bullying out for what it is:

"Let me get this right," Rubio said in his speech. "ISIS is cutting people's heads off, setting people on fire in cages, Saudi Arabia and Iran on the verge of a war, the Chinese are landing airplanes on islands that they built and say belong to them in what are international waters and in some ways territorial waters, our economy is flat-lined, the stock market is falling apart, but boy are we getting a lot of coverage about a pair of boots. This is craziness. People, have they lost their minds?"

The upside, and that is if there's any glimmer of 'win' here, is that this video's vaguely reminiscent of Far Far Away Idol; and this is a great thing, because we're going to watch that now.

In reality though, Jeb Bush broke through the ceiling of weird with this campaign video that's actually more bizarre and a staggeringly less amount of awesome than Far Far Away Idol.

It looks like Ben & Jerry's is going to release another politically-themed ice cream. In the past they've rolled out flavors like 'PrObama' and 'Yes Pecan!'

Well, this go round they're aiming to release 'Bernie's Yearning,' which would feature a "big disk of chocolate on top, covering the entire top and below it is just plain mint ice cream. The disc of chocolate represents 90 percent of the wealth that's gone to the top 10 percent over the last 10 years."

Ben Cohen went on to suggest that "You take your spoon and you whack that big chocolate disc into little pieces and mix it around," meant to symbolize a more equally distributed U.S. economy, one where everyone gets their share.

Hillary Clinton left her tin foil hat at home, was up late re-watching 'Independence Day' for the 99th time cause that movie just gets her; but she still brought her game face last week to drop some extraterrestrial wisdom on us all.

The Democratic presidential front-runner told the Conway Daily Sun during a campaign stop that, "I think we may have been [visited already]. We don't know for sure."

One can't even fathom how big D. Trump's going to roll with this one. He's probably not going to be chill about letting alien races set up shop on earth though.

The typical reaction to an extremist militant group regurgitating your words to attract potential recruits, would generally encompass flipping the fu*k out.

Trump can't be phased. The Republican primary candidate merely brushed off the use of his words against Muslims by an Al-Qaeda affiliate, known as Al-Shabaab, as casually as he would tend to that fluffy golden Photoshop-airbrushed, hair-cloud on a lazy Sunday.

He launched predictably fiery jab, by guessing that all 'extremists' are prone to employing the words of any Republican presidential front-runner.

Al-Shabbab, not ISIS, just made a video on me - they all will as front-runner & if I speak out against them, which I must. Hillary lied!

To wrap it all up, Trump addressed Hilary Clinton's recent unfounded allegation that an additional extremist group, the Islamic State, was using Trump as a pillar of its propaganda. He says the appearance of this Al-Shabaab video doesn't do way with the fact Clinton was wrong.

"It wasn't ISIS and it wasn't made at the time, and she lied," he said on Fox & Friends on Sunday.

Trump also dished out a little hurt on 'Slick Willy' afterwards.

Hillary Clinton lied last week when she said ISIS made a D.T. video. The video that ISIS made was about her husband being a degenerate.

Remember in class when you were called on to read an excerpt from a book, and the ensuing catastrophe that was trying to remember to breathe between sentences?

Let Poppy Harlow be a lesson to us all. This is what happens when you forget to breathe for a hot minute.

On Monday morning CNN's Poppy Harlow PTFO. Midway through a live broadcast we can hear the anchorwoman hit an imaginative wall. Shortly after Harlow came back on the air to reassure viewers that she had, 'gotten a little hot and passed out for a moment.'

Thank you all for your concern and messages! I am ok! Passed out briefly and am with the doctor now. So thankful to our amazing CNN team.

It's a war of the words here folks, and we're not sure yet whether Donald Trump is the alien race hellbent on intergalactic domination; or if he's just Tom Cruise trying to conquer another impossible mission.

The latest installment in the 'Say What Now?! Trump' series that inevitably sets the media ablaze in fiery fits of outrage centers on a limited edition, entirely provocative, mindless tweet from Donald Trump.

Hillary Clinton has announced that she is letting her husband out to campaign but HE'S DEMONSTRATED A PENCHANT FOR SEXISM, so inappropriate!

It's the day after Christmas and you're in bed mentally backpedaling through the various hoops and turns, and vocal explosions of yesterday's wine-soaked conversation. The food coma was unparalleled. Then someone committed the emboldened atrocity that is name-dropping Donald Trump in a perfectly sane and reasonably mannered conversation.

Like, excuse me?. To put it lightly you got pissed. It's alright. Trump happens. Make amends with an annual Vladimir Putin calendar. You could say he's showing us his soft side.

The calendar features various shots of Putin; from topless fishing, to the man caught amidst sweaty bouts of exercise; everyone's in for a wide-eyed smile with this one.

Carly Fiorina has officially announced that she is running for president, and while the former Hewlett-Packard CEO has been heavily touting her tech expertise, she’s already made one big mistake online.

Her campaign failed to secure all of the big domains with her name, and one troll decided to useCarlyfiorina.org to make a statement about her leadership at HP.

“Carly Fiorina failed to register this domain,” the site reads. “So I’m using it to tell you how many people she laid off at Hewlett-Packard.”

The page is then filled with 30,000 emoticons of a frowny face to illustrated the number of layoffs.

If you scroll down to the bottom there’s more text with a quote from Fiorina.