Confessions of a Sports Ignoramus

‘Simpsons’ writer Rob LaZebnik explains to WSJ’s Gary Rosen how he copes with the terrible social disability of knowing nothing about sports. Photo: Getty Images

This transcript has been automatically generated and may not be 100% accurate.

I ... it's no secret that American and love the sport they love sports more than their jobs more than their wives more thinned their children ... but there are exceptions to this will outliers in one of them is joining us here today Rob was that Nick coming to us from California high Robert ... criteria or a ... so so Rob ... in this weekend's that Wall Street Journal you have this embarrassing confession which is that you are not ... obsessed with sports the way I think every other American man is so so ... me to put it plainly what what's wrong with you and how did this happen ... well we all are yours is a is and it's very very reason all very alleviated for my not ... from a disease Society a man in America ... as isn't ... likely to show ... quite sure what happened that I he began life as a furtherance that seed was cargo in your SE Missouri Tigers than I grew up in court on usury ... on both difficulties reform which it ... finds that the US to misery Stadium ... actually it's even more people than that of wind in our hometown so the whole entire town to be there on and on game day ... and singing an entire city that tracks the next day loss ... on ... sale ... it was an avid fan of both time ... when college and has only happened I just I just kind of aam ... last Monday on my Jones for a ... huge amount of school and ... got married to a woman who ... couldn't care less for sports so ever since I ay ay ay really going on in the loop and is ... at ... stake ... well with the same as me ... this must be for you of great ... social disadvantage from so so what do you do how do you compensate ... how how do you talk to other American man ... it's very difficult landing I love this time this particular few weeks in the summer because ... basketball's over ... time football has started yet ... and the UN baseball he is use as boring as is the enemy ... on ... it so I know at least now we'll get into the wilderness conversation this morning and you're were recycled in a ... recent court decisions but ... then before you know it ... cannot Aaron Hernandez and his troubles and and and I'm back into on ... the TV and on the outside so on ... it's very difficult and ... and ... I finally on things to do that I actually ... was forced to join in a fantasy Football League ... here it and we're just in desperation distributable silat it suits its inverse of the Republic ... and down I went through on the existing ... evolution on because ... I answer when it first I was I was literally a first place for the first four weeks of the year and ... yet he didn't feel that that excitement that competitive thing ... the new moment I start losing a bet on the way I forgot that ... that that ... that you receive Missouri Tigers sense of ... futility ... the ... kit the internet ... will was so so Rob it's one thing for you to have this this disability that this deficiency but what about your children what what about future generations of was that makes what are you doing ... to keep them from suffering ... from the same problem ... I'm worried I'll lot Saturday one of my kids actually said to me ... did and what what's good for gold and was met with his throws the ball to my horror I I ... completely failed in that ... and ... and trying to do much is enough just to stay in the game so to speak to ... so I have to do more and no I think that there to force everybody including me this is done watched just like thirty seconds BST and ... every dentist yesterday and yes ... I was watching ESPN and ... in a little older dots ... on it and she Nolan ... and data on in thirty seconds in an era in Anniston up this morning I said he was teammates with soon to go to Florida ... and then I that start off with conversation a little back of the room quietly having having contributed ... to and we could do we could contemplate ... some sort of remedial education program for for people who find themselves with a sort of the more awkward ignorance ... it is a very good idea to get money making idea for the five highest undertones all American males who are in my predicament ... very good Rob was that Nick thank you for joining us ... thanks Aunt Karen designs ... for Wall Street Journal weekend Revue I'm Gary Rosen ...