It's time to smarten up and do things right in 2017

Friday

It’s a new year, 2017, and as much as I don’t like to make too big a deal of it or actually go to a New Year’s Eve party, I do like to take stock at the end of one year and the beginning of a new one.

It’s a new year, 2017, and as much as I don’t like to make too big a deal of it or actually go to a New Year’s Eve party, I do like to take stock at the end of one year and the beginning of a new one.

Now, 2016 was an interesting year in several ways, the most obvious being the election of Donald Trump as president. Say what? I’m glad I didn’t bet on that one.

Usually I like to obsess about everything I did wrong over the previous year and resolve to never do any of those things again. But I can flat-out say that I’m not taking back any of the bad things I said about Trump, and I believe that he could become the worst president America has ever had. While I think it was dumb to elect him, I also resolve to give him a chance and hope for the best.

With 2016 being the year of the rattlesnakes in these parts, I was going to say that you could lump Trump in with them, but he’s really less of a snake in the grass and more like a parrot, randomly saying meaningless things. And no one knows what he’s talking about, including himself.

I wrote in a column last year that putting rattlesnakes on an island at Quabbin Reservoir, as proposed by the state Division of Fisheries and Wildlife, was a dumb idea, as people live nearby and generally don’t like bumping into rattlesnakes. But they continue to hold meetings and seem to be going ahead with their plan full force. So much for the power of the pen. Since that didn’t work, I’m thinking I may just introduce mongooses onto the same island and see what happens. I’m going to say that 2017 could be the year of the mongoose. If only I could figure out how to set up one of those wildlife cameras, I could get it all on video.

We all know that 2016 was also a big year for Pokemon. They were everywhere, I guess — I never actually played. I was thinking of maybe playing Pokemon GO until I saw just how many people were walking around downtown Gardner playing, and then it went from something that seemed really cool to something you’d be embarrassed to be caught doing — just going along with what everyone else was doing.

I still think it’s a good idea being able to do video games while out for a walk, interacting with the different areas you go to. Maybe someone will think up some way to do that without all the dumb Pokemon creatures.

Did I say dumb? It’s dawning on me that there’s a trend developing as I go over the highlights of the past year, dumb, dumber and dumberer.

It was sort of a dumb year.

But this year is going to be a lot better.

For one, I resolve not to get bogged down by dumb excuses. You always start off the year thinking you’re going to get a lot done, things are going to go good, etc. But that almost never works out, and you have to rationalize with a bunch of dumb excuses like “I was too tired,” “I didn’t feel like it,” “It’s on the list” and “I’ll get to it when I get to it.”

The thing is, those only sound like dumb excuses to other people. When I’m talking about not reaching my own goals, those are actually smart reasons why it didn’t happen, because if I was too tired, then I wasn’t going to get anything done on it anyway. If I didn’t feel like it, then it really wasn’t one of my key goals. If I’m still working on it, then I’m still working on it, so get off my back already!

I do want to lose a couple of pounds. I didn’t have any luck with that in 2016, as I was cursed by ankle and back problems and couldn’t really get out that often to do exercise. I’m not really sure how much better I’m going to do in 2017, but I’m thinking I could make a little progress.

If I had a StairMaster, I could exercise at home, but those things are expensive. My doctor suggested an elliptical machine, but I don’t really like those things — they get you flailing all over the place and don’t really give you a good workout. But, at the rate I’m going, even a bad workout would probably be better than nothing.

Anyway, the smart thing to do would be to do something, anything, whenever I get the chance. A few bike rides, a little cross-country skiing, a couple of random pushups, I should be all set.

On a serious note, 2016 was certainly another bad year for opioid overdoses here and around the country. Here’s hoping everyone can avoid taking any opioids to begin with — or get the help they need if they become addicted to such powerful prescription pain medication.

Speaking for myself, I’ve had all kinds of back and ankle problems in the past year and no one gave me any prescriptions for Oxycontin, not that I would have wanted them. But I don’t think prescribers are really handing those things out like candy anymore, which was dumb, so hopefully they’ve smartened up about that.

This could be the year when society in general realizes that you just shouldn’t take any opioids at all, sort of like how everyone realized a couple of decades ago that you shouldn’t drink and drive. A few people didn’t get the memo over the years, but most people now realize how dumb that is.

Also, I’ve struggled at times to come up with good column topics, and some people might even say that I wrote a dumb column or two. I’d like to say I’m going to resolve that in 2017 it’s going to be all great columns, but it’s not that easy.

Sometimes you’re tired and you just don’t have the wherewithal to write a masterpiece. Sometimes you don’t even have the smarts to write a masterpiece. And oftentimes I don’t even feel like it. But it’s on my list, I’m working on it, and if I do another dumb one while trying to come up with that masterpiece, you can all just get off my back already — I’ll get to it when I get to it.

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