Monday, September 3, 2018

Sonzee's Spa

Yesterday was one of those days that was strictly driven by an
excess of adrenalin. It will certainly take some time to fully
decompress. It was a day full of abundant smiles, an overflow of happy
emotions, and a couple of moments of hidden happy tears. It was a day
that you can only dream of experiencing but honestly as a
parent you never actually dream of happening to your
family. Forget when the reality of it all sneaks up on you much like the
situation that brought you to the same point did in the first place. It
is one thing when you tell your children to close their eyes on their birthday
and "make a wish" while blowing out their candles, but when you dream
up a wish that you know will bring an immense amount of
joy to every remaining day of your 3.5 year old daughter's
life from this point forward (no matter how many more there will be) it hits
you like a ton of bricks when it comes to fruition.

The sheer magnitude of
yesterday is almost too much to actually comprehend. There is a 22,450lb
aquatic training vessel sitting on a slab of concrete in our backyard.
Typing those words brings tears to my eyes and a lump in my throat. I did
not even process that we have a child who qualified for a "Make a
Wish", and now I cannot process that when I look into our backyard there
is now "Sonzee's Spa". Much like the day we were handed a
packet about epilepsy and told to take our then 5.5-week-old daughter, who was
still having at least 12 seizures a day while on medication, home from the
hospital, Sam and I felt completely overwhelmed with the spa, the spa manual,
and the chemical routine we were given.

I wonder how it is supposed to
feel when you have a "Wish Kid". We know the
reality of having a medically complex child. Nothing has changed in a
day, but oddly after yesterday it weighs a bit heavier on my shoulders.
If I am honest every day that passes by I get a little more scared about how
many that means we might have left. I choose to keep these thoughts in
the recesses of my mind, yet answer honestly when asked about her prognosis by
others. I know there are different philosophies of how best to
"handle" this reality, and every parent who finds him or herself in
this position has their individual way they feel is best. For me it is to
acknowledge the reality but not become suffocated. I
will compare my thoughts to the brown water in Sonzee's Spa. Yesterday
the water was as dark brown as possible, but the chemicals will slowly work
amazing magic and by next week our little mermaid will find herself enjoying
daily swims. The threat of the water going brown will always remain, but
we will do our best to keep it as clear as possible so she can enjoy herself as
much as possible. Yesterday the reality of what it means that my child is
a "Wish Kid" hit me hard, but by next week the harshness will dissipate
and left behind will be the same slight nagging presence that we have felt
since April of 2015.

There really is no clear way to
express the thoughts going on in my mind. We will forever be grateful to
Marquis spa's, Stafford Tower Crane, Make a Wish Arizona, all of our friends
and family that were present with us virtually and in person, and everyone that
played a role in making Sonzee's Spa become a reality.