A Forlorn Love Letter

Today, I was thinking about what it is that I want with you and from you; for you, for us…

I want to be part of your life in a real way. When you’re working well into the night on a project, charts, or something else, I want to bring you your favorite glass of Avion. After, I want to watch you work while I read or study until I can barely keep my eyes open. And in the wee hours of the morning, when I feel you crawl into bed, I want to wrap myself around you so that you’ll always fall asleep feeling loved and cared for.

When the sun rises, I want to wake up with you. And when I sense your frustration with the boys because they aren’t cooperating, I want to be the one who steps in, tends to them, makes their breakfast and school lunches, while you take a few minutes to yourself to gather your flustered thoughts before you drive them to school and head in to your work day.

In the middle of the afternoon, when you text me saying you’re having a rough day, I want to surprise you by dropping in unexpectedly to offer you some encouragement, affection, and understanding so that you know you aren’t alone, even when you feel like you are.

On the nights that we are lucky enough to have some time to ourselves, I want to have a quiet dinner with you to catch up on all the details of life that we haven’t had time to discuss yet. I want to touch your hand across the table when you talk and hold on to every word you say.

Before we fall asleep at night, I want to memorize your face with my hands and kiss you goodnight as if it was going to be the last time we ever spent a night together.

I want to be there for you in all the in-between times. To nurture you, to love you through difficulty, to prop you up when you’re feeling less than strong, to grieve with you when the hard times come, and to laugh with you when happiness abounds.

I long to grow old with you. To tell you when you are no longer feeling young nor vibrant, how my heart still skips a beat every time I look at you and how lucky I am that I belong to you and that you belong to me.

I am the voice behind Truly Madly Sassy and currently reside on the coast of North Carolina with my dog Snickers. I’m a full-time social work major, a suicide prevention advocate, a most-of-the-time writer, a part-time mermaid, an iPhone junkie, a bit of a wandering free-spirit, and a self-proclaimed princess. I’m a lover of all things chocolate, a staunch Starbucks addict, a sap for Rumi’s poetry, and a tried-and-true believer in happily ever after.

Comments

“It’s so beautiful and sweet that you wanted to wrap yourself around him so he would feel loved. Too bad he didn’t appreciate the immense love and care he was receiving. I often wonder why men and women don’t just come out and say it when something is not working or they don’t love their spouse anymore. I don’t get it. Why would someone take advantage of another person’s love if they don’t feel the same? Anyway, beautiful words and I hope you’ll write some similar ones for a much more deserving man.”

“Thanks for the compliment, Sandra. I do tend to write love letters well, especially when I love someone that much! As for him being lucky, I would have to agree he was the luckier one of the two (grin). While I am fortunate to have loved someone so unconditionally, I certainly didn’t get that kind of love from him in return. Stop in anytime. <3"

Quite a fascinating love love letter. I’m not really good at composing such romantic lines. I almost copied part of it. Lol. I love this and perhaps I could consult you to help me come up with one. Thanks for putting up this.

“This is a very beautiful letter. Not many these days actually really grip you but this one does. I feel like for some people, they are able to say they met the ONE and it isn’t that this person is the only one who is right for them but the only one who truly makes them selfless. Not sure if that makes sense. Either way, really enjoyed this :)”

“As I am reading through your blog, I am absolutley loving it. I resonate so much with what you write about and I think this post too is absolutley so beautiful. I can’t help but think of my own relationship when I read this. I hope with all the broken relationships and all the little fights that people have that turn into big fights, I hope I can make my relationship last like this article for a very long time. I always wonder what people’s secrets are who stay together for a very long time and I love when an old person said “”back in my day when something is broken, we would try to fix it, rather than replace it””. Yes sometimes things can’t be fixed but relationships aren’t meant to be easy and when we live our life mindfully and with peace, love and joy.. I believe the relationship only grows with time. Keep up the great blog posts, I look forward to reading more from you.

“I wept as I read this because I once loved a woman in this very same way. I read your reply below and you said he meant a lot to you in a past tense. I don’t know if you lost him through death or some other way, but it made me sad for you and it is unfortunate that he wasn’t able to read this. Your transparency is remarkable. Thank you for being so open with your life and your scars. Best.”

“Thankfully, I did not lose him because of death as he is still very much alive. And someday, I may give his journal to him once it’s full. Writing is very healing for me and my friend Mel said it best when she told me to write until I was empty. I don’t write him letters in that journal much anymore because the blog is such a creative outlet for me, but every now and then, I put something in it that would only be for him to read. Our relationship was chaotic, but I am so lucky to have loved that way. He taught me what unconditional love really is and I hate it took me as long as it did to learn how to love things (and people) that are imperfect. As far as being open and transparent, I think the only way to live an authentic life is to live it as an open book because it not only heals us, but heals others as well. I wish you nothing but happiness and hope that you find someone to love openly again. Thanks for stopping by!”

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OH HI THERE!

My name is Kristi McAllister. I’m a full-time student, a most-of- the-time writer, a part-time mermaid, an iPhone junkie, a dog mom, a bit of a wandering free-spirit, and a self-proclaimed princess.
I’m a lover of all things chocolate, a staunch Starbucks addict, a sap for Rumi’s poetry, and a tried-and-true believer in happily ever after.

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