Monday, December 29, 2008

I woke up early today and it's drizzling outside. Ahh... bliss! So I decided against going back to sleep, make a cuppa coffee and lock myself in the study room. These are precious moments which must be utilized quickly!

My eldest daughter is going back to UiTM today. We did her registration yesterday (spent the whole day there!), and since it's a holiday today, she followed us home. MrN will be in KL this week (I'm glad!), but he'll go to JB on Friday for a short meeting.

I plan to re-organize the shoe store today. It’s an annual affair. The last time I did it was more than a year ago. As usual, yang mengemas sorang, yang menyelerakkan ramai!

We are shoe-people. We love shoes (who don’t?), my husband included. I think, he has more shoes than I do. In the store room, half of it is occupied by my husband’s shoes, a quarter by my shoes and another quarter by the girls’ shoes. There’s also MrsN No. 1’s old shoes, which we still keep on the rack, because they are still good shoes.

Her shoes are many, and expensive. That’s also another reason why they are still there. Unfortunately, her feet are one size bigger than mine. Some of the sandals are still wearable, but you know how leather shoes become hard over time, right? So they are quite uncomfortable.

The girls don’t really fancy wearing court shoes or high-heeled ones, preferring the more trending pumps. So MrsN No. 1 shoes are just there for display, taking up space for the rest of the other new shoes.

I don’t know what to do with them. Some dated back to the 80s coz people in this house has a habit of hoarding old stuff. The same with clothes. MrN still has the shirt which he wore when he went for his first honeymoon! And that was 20 years ago! And in the trunk, there are still several dresses which I believe was worn during the disco era of the 70s by MrsN#1 !

There are good and bad points to this. If you have storage space in the house, by all means, keep them. The fashion will come back. That’s why during our disco party last July, we didn’t buy any new outfit. We just used what we have. But if you don’t have space, then something has got to go.

I, for one, do not like to hoard. If I see any baju which I haven’t worn in more than a year, I’ll put it aside to give or throw away. This is because, I’ll be buying more clothes and if I don’t discard the old ones, mana nak letak?

My wardrobe is almost bursting at the seams. Every time my maid tried to hang the newly-ironed clothes, she’ll have difficulties trying to find space, resulting in them becoming crumpled all over again as the cupboard is overstuffed. Nak beli a bigger wardrobe, dah tak ada tempat nak letak. That’s my daily dilemma.

We thought of holding a jumble sale a couple of months ago to discard the old items, but it didn’t materialize (malas nak pikir masa tu). People say, what’s rubbish to you may be treasures of other people. So a jumble sale might be a good idea. Perhaps we’ll do it next year once we find the energy to dig and sort out all the stuff.

There are a lot, I’m telling you… really a lot. Ini belum termasuk barang budak2 lagi. Their clothes, toys, shoes. There are 5 big bundles stacked up ouside their bedroom door at the moment. Malas nak usik. Nak buang, sayang. So they are just there accumulating dust.

Last year, I gave away 3 big bundles of kids's shoes to the Indonesian workers at my office. Berebut dia orang! They were still good shoes, sometimes baru pakai sekali dua je. Kids outgrow their shoes very fast. Even Nizzar now, at 2.5 years old, has 8 pairs of shoes! Itu pun after 2, 3 rounds of giving away his old shoes to other people!

Looks like he's gonna become another shoe lover, huh? Just like his mum & dad...

Friday, December 26, 2008

We had a lovely Christmas Dinner last night. Not that we celebrate the occasion, it’s just that I wanted a reason to dress up and be merry.

Did we have turkey? Yes we did! But it didn’t come from my kitchen. The thought of having to slog in the kitchen stuffing the bird and roasting it in the oven for 4-5 hours put me off from doing it myself. So, I simply placed an order at E’toile (Equatorial Hotel). All I had to do was to collect it and serve it on our dining table. Voila!

Cheating? Hee.. hee… cheatinglah tu, but it was worth it. The turkey was delicious!

The idea came about a couple of weeks ago. I said, “Let’s have a Christmas dinner! We do turkey. Dress up. Buy a Christmas tree, have presents, the whole works!” The kids bought the idea. They had never tasted turkey before. I had, so had MrN (when we were studying in the UK). But we both didn’t quite like the taste because turkey’s meat is quite dry and bland. You have to eat it with loads of gravy and cranberry sauce.

Nak prepare benda Allah tu pun bukannya senang. Kena thaw the bird (could take a whole night), do the stuffing, stuff the bird, roast it (depending on the size, it may take up to 4 hours), do the gravy… eeeh… lecehlah. So we tried to change their minds ~ roast chicken boleh? No!!! They insisted on having a turkey because “Tak pernah rasa…”. Kesian pulak I tengokkan budak2 ni. In the end, we relented and so we bought the turkey.

The turkey was 4.5 kg big. Now, that's a BIG one. It came with the gravy and cranberry sauce. We thought sure tak habis, but everyone seemed to love it. The kids, especially. Dua tiga round minta tambah! We were quite happy to see the turkey being wiped out within minutes! Nizzar pun suka! MrN's aunty said,"Selama 55 tahun umur aunty ni, this is the first time aunty makan turkey!" And she liked it!

The children helped a lot with the preparations and balloon decorations while I was out with MrNordin picking up the turkey. Ambil turkey sekejap saja... but we took our time and have our coffee there. E'toile used to be our favourite meeting place when we were dating. Sekarang dah jarang2ke situ. So when a chance like this comes along, might as well lah, kan? :)

However, we were interrupted several times by phone calls from home asking us, "Please buy oregano on your way back!!", "Shall we start steaming the vegetables now??", "Shall I ask k.Sri to start cooking the fried rice?" Hish... susah betul nak dating in peace these days!

Anyway, I'm happy it turned out well. Although we didn't have a Christmas tree (I thought, kalau beli pun, what am I going to do with it after that?) or Santa Claus to distribute presents for everyone, we had fun. Guests left at almost 1 am, and today I'm at work.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

I’ve been reading through my blog for previous postings while listening to some nice songs on my PC. Right now, it’s “Jerat” by Harvey Malaiholo.

You know how certain songs can trigger that sentimental feeling in one person, right? This song does that to me, all the time.

Jerat is my love song with MrNordin. This is the song which made me fall in love with him for the first time.

It was June 2001. We’ve only known each other for a couple of weeks and we’ve met maybe once or twice during that time. But he had already hinted that he was pretty serious about me. Everyday, he would ask me whether I liked him or not and insisted on knowing how I felt towards him. But I was taking my time. Whenever he asked me, I would just say, “I don’t know…” or I’d just give him a non-committal answer.

So that day, he told me he had a karaoke competition at his office in a few days time and was wondering if I could teman him practice at Star KTV. I said ok je since I love singing as well. He asked me to meet him at Bangsar Shopping Complex after work.

I was on leave that day. I was pretty anxious as that would be the first time we went karaoke together. What if I sang out of tune? What if my pitching lari? What if he was a really good singer? All those questions kept playing on my mind as I drove towards Bangsar.

Upon reaching BSC, I gave him a call. He said he was at the main entrance and asked me to meet him there.

As I was walking towards the entrance, I saw him standing with his back facing me. I could recognized him straight away as there were not many people yang 'hairless' kat situ (except babies lah, of course)!

He was talking on the phone in one hand and holding a cigarette in the other. He was wearing this white collared shirt, top two buttons undone, sleeves folded, and a Ray-Ban resting on his temple. He looked so cool and relaxed. He didn’t see me, so I just observed him from far.

As he took a drag from his cigarette, suddenly I felt my heart start missing a beat! “Eh, apasal ni?” Macam ada magic pulak tiba2 aura dia terserlah sebegitu! I didn’t know whether it was the cigarette or his Ray Ban or his shirt, but all I knew was, “I want to be seen with this guy!!!”

I felt my face flushed with embarrassment as that thought crossed my mind. For a moment, I just stood there motionless. Speechless. Then he saw me and waved at me. Ahh… that’s when I knew I had feelings for him!

Anyway, we went into the karaoke room and started choosing the songs. I had frequented that place quite often before with my friends, so I was quite familiar with the songs and sound system. But for him, that was his first time and so he was quite apprehensive and looked rather nervous in the beginning.

Among all the songs that he had selected, there was this one song which I particularly liked. I’ve heard it before but I had never heard anyone singing it in a karaoke before. Neither did I know the song title.

So when he sang it that day, I was quite thrilled. “Eee… I sukalah lagu ni, tapi tak pernah tahu who’s the singer or what’s the song title!”. He sang it beautifully, too and I just loved listening to him again and again.

"It’s called Jerat", he said. Of course..

Malam tu, bila balik rumah, I kept on thinking about the song but I didn’t quite catch the lyrics. So when he called me later that night, I complimented him again:

“Bestlah you nyanyi lagu tu, sedap suara you..”.

“Ya ke?”

“Iya…”

Then he said something which took me by surprise,

“Maybe sebab I dah kena jerat kut…?”

Kena jerat?

“What do you mean?”

“Kena jerat…. You know?”

I still didn’t get it.

“Kena jerat apa?”

Punyalah bangangnya I masa tu, sumpah I tak tahu what he meant by that! Dua tiga kali dia sebut jerat, jerat, but I still couldn't figure it out. After a while, he gave up.

“Tak de apa lah.. “, he said and changed the subject.

A few days later, we went for karaoke again. This time, I insisted he sang that song again and I made sure I read the lyrics properly. Punyalah I terkezut when I saw the lyrics!

"... kau ciptakan rindu... kau buat hati tu.... terjerat... tali cinta..."Hati I dah dup, dap, dup, dap. He was still singing. I looked up at him and asked, “Is this what you were trying to tell me the other night?” He nodded and smiled.

Alamak… malunya! Malu campur suka! Malu sebab I was so blur, couldn’t read between the lines. Over the moon ~ sebab someone here had said his heart had been captured by me! Hee.. hee!!

Until today, whenever I hear this song, it will always bring back memories of that day in the karaoke room and that night when he was trying to tell me something. It never failed to bring a smile to my face.

To listen to the song, click the link below. You should listen to it and read the lyrics at the same time for maximum impact. After that, tell me what's your love song and what's your story, ok? Let's share.

Monday, December 22, 2008

The first Makcik Bloggers meeting, held yesterday at The Melting Pot, Concorde, was indeed a great success! I’m not sure if I should call it a “Makcik Bloggers” meeting as I’m sure there are many other makcik bloggers around. But I think, that group yesterday was indeed “makcik-makcik” in nature and character, so I guess it’s okay to call it the “Makcik Bloggers” meeting.

This review is very much intended for those who couldn’t be there with us yesterday, namely Kak Teh, MA, Auntie Yan, Busymum, Waterlily, Jabishah and Myheartbleeds. Yes, we talked about you all yesterday, so you were there in our thoughts!

I arrived slightly late because I had to pick up my maid who went home over the weekend, and make sure the kids were ok. MrNordin was in Seremban, hence the small glitch.

Upon arrival, I saw 4 ladies already waiting at MrsNordin’s table. I could recognize Ms Hart and Ezza (easy…), but the other two, I tak kenal. They introduced themselves as Zaitgha and Busybody. Waaahh…. Baru kenal mana satu busybody and mana satu the lady who baked lovely cakes tu! They were nice, and friendly. Ezza, you are just like your blog ~ hillarious! And Ms. Hart, you have one of the nicest smiles I've ever seen!

Then Mdm Tai Tai arrived with her long pearl necklace and immaculate hairdo. She told me she was nervous as hell to meet the makciks, and I couldn’t understand why. She said it was like a “blind date” (huh?). Anyway, I didn’t think she was nervous for long coz as she started chatting away, she couldn’t stop.

She brought a gift from Dhaka for each one of us, a lovely shawl. I brought a small mug for each one of the ladies with their blog name written at the bottom of the cup. I hope they’ll use it as the official coffee/tea cup every time they blog!

After Mdm Tai Tai, The Principal arrived with a big box of cookies and prettily wrapped muffins for everyone. That’s very thoughtful of her… She sat next to me. She looked kinda nervous in the beginning (perhaps because she was the youngest among all the makciks?) but after a while, she eased up.

Then, Ummi365 arrived (she gave us a personally-sewn handbag each!), followed by Superwoman, Shana, Ibu, Bella, Kay & Tireless Mum. Tireless Mum just arrived from her holiday in Phuket that afternoon, I was very glad she took the trouble to join us. Kay, her sister, picked her up from home. Between those two, I would have thought Yatt is the older sister when actually, Kay is the one. Maybe because Yatt is more compose than Kay. But they sure do look and ‘sound’ alike!

The 14 of us did cause quite a stir at the Melting Pot yesterday. Nasib tak ramai orang kat situ! Kalau ramai pun, so what, eh? We were just girls having fun. I saw these two ladies at the next table kept looking at us, probably wondering what we were up to or probably wishing they could be part of our crowd? Hee.. hee… gelak ketawa, photo taking…. It was fun!

We finished at almost 6pm, but I left later at 7pm after a “post-mortem” with Superwoman and Mdm Tai Tai at the Crossroads. They were waiting for their husbands to pick them up, that’s why we stayed on. Our feelings were mutual, “IT WAS A GREAT MEETING!” Thanks, y’all!!

These photos will tell you what went on yesterday. I’m sure the others would post their pictures as well. So keep on checking their blogs. Cheers!

Friday, December 19, 2008

I recently updated my FB. Like many, I was thrilled to see so many of my long lost friends, especially those from my university days. Seeing their faces remind me of the good old days in Kent. The fun, the laughter, the anxiety… so many memories kept playing back in my mind. I can’t help smiling thinking about the things we did and the fun we had coz that’s where we grew up and that’s where we first learnt what life was all about.

The year was 1988. That was the first time I set foot in London. I still remember the icy, cold wind that swept my face as I stepped out of Heathrow Airport. Gosh… it was so cold! I’ve never felt that cold before! The closest experience I had was in Genting Highlands but that was nothing compared to London’s winter days, ok? And when I spoke, smoke came out of my mouth! Geez.. how shocking! That’s when it hit me that I was actually in a foreign country, far away from home. I’ve set foot in London and this is where my home is going to be for the next 3 years!

I didn’t know anyone then. The students who came on the same flight with me were all from different schools, mostly from KPP. I was the only one who came from a boarding school. But somehow, I managed to get on a black cab with a few others, and off we went to the famous Malaysian Hall in Bryston Square.

I got a single room at the Malaysian Hall. The room was small but warm. I was to stay there for a few days before I depart to Kent with the other Kent students who still haven’t arrived yet. I can’t remember what I did, but I remember buying my first winter jacket at Oxford Street during my short stay in London. It was red in colour.

I also did the usual touristy things like visiting the Trafalgar Square, Buckingham Palace, Madame Tussaud, London Bridge etc, etc. Funnily, that was the first and last time I ever visited those places throughout my stay in the UK.

A few days later saw a stream on students arriving at the Malaysian Hall before going to their final destinations. That’s when I met my university mates ~ Sharinaz, Shireen, Suhaimi, Hisham and Khairuddin. They were all from KPP. There was another girl, Lina, who came from the same school as me, but she arrived much later than all of us.

Then another girl arrived, Rye. She was so “at home”, coming in and out of the Malaysian Hall saying hi and bye to many people she bumped into. Later I found out that she actually did her A-Levels in the UK and that’s why she was so familiar with the people there. There was also another guy, Mazlan. Mazlan was a Shell scholar and because of that, he did not stay with us at the Malaysian Hall. Instead, he put up at a hotel somewhere in London and I thought that was so extravagant!

Anyway, the first few days there was quite a blur to me now. But once, me and the boys took a train down to Canterbury to check out our university ~ The University of Kent at Canterbury. Sigh…. the name alone brings back sweet memories of that place! The boys pandai pulak naik train pegi Canterbury which is about an hour ride from London (can’t remember which station now). I had no clue, so I just followed them.

Looking back, I think my first year at university was the best days of my life. I met new friends, learnt new things, and it was all about fun! Fun! Fun! The Malaysian students at UKC were a great bunch of people and they were all out to have fun. Every Friday night ~ disco! Kalau boleh, tiap2 malamlah nak pegi disco! I had a whole set of bajus and dresses for disco nights! Geng pegi disco pun ramai, diketuai oleh my dear friend Verdi, who now resides in Jakarta.

Verdi was a private student in London but he never did attend school. He was always bumping with us becoz he had a Malaysian girlfriend in Kent, Eben. Kerja dia tiap2 malam pegi disco. Another disco buddy is Shuib, now a journalist at NSTP. There was also Alma, who joined us every once in a while, and Kidin. But Kidin wouldn’t dance, he’d just drink. Best kalau pegi clubbing with they all. Tak ingat dunia!

Of course, university days were not all about disco, disco, disco. I did study too, ok? But very minimal. Hee… hee…

I still keep in touch with some of these friends, but only once in a while. Now writing this makes me miss them so much. I miss laughing with them, I miss talking to them and I miss doing silly things with them. Student days are the best days of our lives ~ no worries except for exams. Nowadays, mana nak pikir anaklah, husbandlah, work lah, money lah… pening tiap2 hari. Dulu mana ada stress sangat, happy je all the time!

That’s what I keep on telling my children, enjoy your student days and college days puas-puas. Don’t try to grow up too fast. These kids tak sabar2 nak habis sekolah and kerja cepat2. Little did they realize the burden of responsibilities that shall come along with it.

Sigh… what’s the point of writing all this? I don’t know... I’m just feeling melancholic, I guess...

Another two haven’t confirmed yet:1) Busymum – can you come?2) Ummi365 – have you decided?

If these two can make it, it looks like we’re going to have a party of 15 makcik bloggers at Concorde Melting Pot this Sunday afternoon! Yeay!!

I shall book for 15 pax, ok? Under my name ~ MrsNordin. You all tanya lah kat reception tu nanti.

The high-tea is from 12.30 pm-4.00 pm. But I think we meet at 2.00 pm lah, so we don’t need to rush. The cost is RM50 per pax. By the way, we're talking about Concorde KL, ok? Not Shah Alam.

Are you nervous? I am. Takut tak tahu apa nak kata hari tu.

But I think we’re going to have a good time. Meeting new friends are always nerve-wrecking in the beginning but from what I gather, you are all nice, decent people. Not pretentious whatsoever, and I think we’ll get along fine.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Hello again! I just got in the office this morning after a week-long break. Just a quick update before work gets in the way.

Well, to sum it up, it was a hectic week.

The Jakarta trip was cancelled because i) MrNordin couldn’t get away from work at the very last minute, ii) my youngest brother could not take leave, and iii) my second brother was admitted to a hospital for viral fever. I had to cancel all 13 tickets which had been paid in advance (that’s about RM5k in total). Nak buat macamana? To change to a different date pun, kena bayar extra charges. Further, we couldn’t decide when the next best date would be for everyone to travel together. So in the end, we decided to let it burn. Tak apalah, tak ada rezeki. Perhaps next time.

Since I was still on leave, we decided to go down to JB to follow MrNordin to work. He has been quite stressed out lately due to work pressure. I feel sorry for him and I wish I could do more to help. I shall not discuss about it here but suffice to say that the reason why we tagged along was just to give him our moral support. We were in JB for 4 solid days. It was raining mostly, but I managed to steal some quiet times with him over a late night supper and breakfast on a rainy Sunday morning. And that was nice...

Oh yes! The Makcik Bloggers meeting this Sunday is still on, by the way. So far, 14 people have indicated their interests in coming and that’s a good number! I can’t wait! Can you please e-mail me your mobile number so I can contact you directly on the venue (should there be any changes at the last minute)? My e-mail is this: ladyluck_m2001@yahoo.com.

Friday, December 05, 2008

Hi! I’ve been thinking about this for a while but I don’t know what the response will be like. But I shall attempt it anyway, and I hope I will get a positive feedback.

I want to meet my new found friends ~ the makcik bloggers, the commentators, the anonymous or whoever that is interested in meeting new friends over a cup of tea or two on a Sunday afternoon. I feel that since we’ve been exchanging so many stories and comments in each others’ blogs, it’ll be nice if we could finally meet up and put a face to the picture/story. Yeah, sure… I’ve seen some of your photos, but meeting you in person will be something else, isn’t it?

I’ve met Busymum (I think she’s superb!), but the rest, I don’t know. Well, I do know Mdm Tai Tai, Superwoman, Tireless Mom, Aida, Waterlily, Shana and Ibu... but I haven’t met some of them in a long time either.

I’m also curious to meet Jabishah, Myheartbleeds, Ms Hart, The Principal, Kayleeda and everyone else who have dropped by in my blog. I think it’ll be great if we all can meet up coz I’m sure we’ll bring the house down (wherever the meeting place will be lah).

On another note, Mdm Tai Tai is coming back to KL for a short while in mid-Dec and she’d like to meet you all too. She said, it’ll be a great birthday present for her when she turns 41 on 17 Dec. So that's a good reason to meet ~ to celebrate a friend's birthday party! Yeay!!

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

I’m sitting here in my office waiting for the rain to stop. The traffic jam is pretty heavy down there ~ everywhere I turned, there’s this endless line of vehicles trying to make their way home or head somewhere. I’m not in the mood to sit in a traffic jam today, so I’d rather sit here in my office and wait for the jam to clear.

I’ve called the house and told the children that I’ll be back late. Nasib baik there’s someone else working late here as well, otherwise I’d have to pack up and leave. It seems, this office building is haunted. Some people said they have spotted hantu pocong on one of the floors when they were working late. Some ustaz or ghostbusters have been summoned to halau the hantu on several occasions, but they just don’t want to leave! I’ll be dead if I bumped into one!

Ahh… by the way, it’s now 2nd December already. Very soon, it’ll be end of December and we’ll be celebrating a new year ~ 2009. How time flies, huh? I saw Venus and Jupiter the other night, along with that Cheshire cat moon. I thought that was awesome. Did anyone else see it?

When I look back to the things I’ve done/achieved/not achieved this year, I must say it requires some deep thinking to make sense of it all. Turning 40 may have something to do with it as well. I realized now that as I grow older, the things I do/see/experience are a lot more colorful and interesting as compared to when I was younger, say in my 20s or early 30s.

At that time, there were less headaches. The only problem that I had to deal with was maybe work or boyfriend problem. Sometimes, it was my mum (mainly because she didn’t like the guy I was going out with), but those were nothing compared to what I’ve to deal with these days.

These days, the issues include: How to deal with teenage tantrums? How to deal with a cheating husband? How to comfort a friend who's divorced? How to satisfy a husband?

Just the other day, I heard my cousin, who has been married for 25 years, is divorced by her husband who ran off with an Indonesian maid. A friend just lost her husband to cancer, and another friend is diagnosed with a terminal illness. How do you deal with that?

It's quite mind-boggling sometimes, to think about the issues that we have to deal with as we grow older. But these are the things that'll make our lives richer and more colourful. How we deal with it shows our level of maturity and sensitivity towards others' feelings and situations...

Well, the truth is, there's no point in this posting. I'm just babbling. My mind is not at peace but I need to write something.

On a lighter note, a dear friend is coming back to M'sia for a short holiday in mid-Dec. I am so looking forward to seeing her! After raya haji, MrsNordin & family are going on a holiday. Destination: Jakarta (again). This will be my 6th trip there. I don't know what is it about that place, but I like it there. This time around, my parents are coming along with us.

What she said about melayan suami got me thinking. I'm 40 years old and I complain about being tired all the time. She's 106, for heaven sake, and she's still capable??!! Oh my, she's definitely my idol! If at that age she's still capable of satisfying her husband (who is 69 years younger than her!!), I'm sure I can do better than that! Respect, babe!!

This piece of news became a hot topic of conversation over lunch just now. We were guessing, I'm sure nenek ni ada pakai something2 or guna something2. Otherwise, why would a young man like that agree to marry her? What is so special about her?

And to think of what happen in bed? Ewww... it's like making love to your grandmother lah!! Hee.. hee...

But I don't think they all "do it" lah.... there must be other ways to satisfy a husband, right? What's your take on this?

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

I’ve been slow in updating my blog. A lot of things to write, but no time to do it. The PC at my office is down since Monday ~ virus attack. So, I was bored to death coz I couldn’t do any work. Hopefully, it’ll be up and running again tomorrow.

The little boy has gone to sleep. Surprise! Surprise! He knocked out since 7.30pm just now. So the house is quiet. My maid is cooking dinner. MrNordin will only be back tomorrow. He’s supposed to come back today, but work forced him to stay on another day in JB. Sigh…

Over lunch just now, a girl in my office treated us nasi ayam. She just got her confirmation after 6 months with us. A very sweet girl, and young too. She just got engaged, to be wed in January. And yesterday was her birthday (we didn’t know that). So I asked her, what did your fiancé give you?

With that question, she started to let off steam because he ‘forgot’ her birthday. Ada ke? They’ve been going out for 8 years and engaged for 3 months, and yet he’s already ‘forgotten’ her birthday? Hee.. hee… I just smiled when I heard her going on and on about him. “And that was after giving him ample warning, you know?!” she exclaimed.

Men… some of them are simply hopeless at remembering important dates like that. Well, even Dr Mahathir admitted he doesn’t remember his wife’s birthday, what more can I say about that, right?

I don’t know… is it really a big deal if that someone important in your life forgets your birthday or couldn’t care less about it? Women don't do that. We remember birthdays. Husband, anak2, parents, parents in law, abang, adik, tok, nenek... semua orang punya birthday kita ingat! I'm not saying all, but mostly. Most women remember their husband's birthday, so I guess, we expect the same in return.

In a way, I think I’m quite lucky in a sense the men in my life do make a fuss about my birthday. Even before MrNordin ~ he holds the record, of course ~ they all remembered the date. That was not my criteria when choosing a boyfriend, but they all turned out to be like that, so I’m glad. (Heh.. heh… I mentioned “they all”, so there were a few… )

But I think, among all those birthday dates and gifts which I’ve received throughout these years, the one that takes the cake was my first birthday with MrNordin. This, in terms of the element of surprise that came along with it. My 40th birthday party was another one but that was pre-planned, so that’s a different story.

That first birthday turned up just a few months after we got to know each other. I was 33 (aiyoo... so young!!). The day before, he had told me he was taking me out for dinner on my birthday but he didn't tell me where. So I pun bersiap bagi nak rak lah malam tu! I remember I wore this little lime green dress with a white shawl over my shoulder. Macam real! He picked me up from my place at about 8pm and we headed straight to the restaurant.

If you've read my "asam pedas" story, you'd know where we went that night. Upon reaching that place, we were ushered to our seats by this very nice gentleman who took care of our dining needs that night. The place was not crowded, very quiet. Soft music was playing in the background.

So we ordered our food and talked. There he was sitting right across me, the man whom I've grown to become so fond of lately, and I couldn't help feeling over the moon. The food was great, the wine was divine (used to drink before but have stopped), the company was fantastic. What more could I ask for on my birthday, right?

After dinner, coffee was served. By this time, I saw he was looking a bit restless. The look on his face showed that he was trying to tell me something but I didn't know what it was. Then, I saw him pulling out something from his pocket ~ a little red box. "Just a little something for you on your birthday...", he said.

Oh wow... I couldn't believe my eyes! As I opened the box, suddenly this 3-piece musician came out of nowhere and started serenading that birthday song to me ~ Happy birthday to you.... Happy birthday to you..... It was awesome! They really took me by surprise! One was playing the violin, one a guitar and another one? I can't remember now what instrument he was playing.

And MrNordin was just watching me with a big smile on his face...

Aahh... it was so romantic! One of the most romantic moments I've ever had! There in the box was a pair of earrings, so beautiful I almost shed in tears. I quickly changed the earrings that I was wearing that night to the ones he gave me. I was on cloud nine!

Over the years, there were many more surprises that he cooked up for me on my birthday but that was simply the best. I guess that was the first ~ that’s why it was the best. The same thing with that first kiss, first love, first smile...

I’m sure many of you have had some magic moments on your birthdays. I know someone who booked the whole restaurant at La Fite, Shangri La, to surprise his wife on her birthday with a dinner for two ~ just the two of them. Wow… that must be unforgettable!

I think, each one of us would appreciate being remembered on our birthday. It doesn't have to be lavish, just a simple wish and a card will do. What is so difficult about that? But sometimes men tend to take these things for granted. Just because they are not used to celebrating birthdays or anniversaries, they expect their other half to feel the same way. No! It's not the gifts or celebration that's important, it's the thought that matters.

That's why whenever I hear a man says, "Ahh... I never send flowers to my wife on her birthday.." (ok, flowers is another issue, but let's just assume we're talking about flowers here), I'll cringe with anger. But when I hear a male collegue at work says, "I'm going off early today. It's my wife's birthday", I'll smile coz I know he's a good guy and he sure knows how to please a woman.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Of late, a number of people have been asking me, "When's the next one?" By that, they meant when am I going to have a second baby.

This is the question that has been bugging me ever since I lepas pantang with Nizzar. Should I, should I not?

It’s a tough question. I really don’t know the answer. Most people say, just go for it. But deep down inside, I fear I may not be able to cope with another baby.

And why is that? Because I’m too old to have another baby? Because I tak larat nak jaga? Because I miss quality time with my husband? Because now Nizzar is somewhat older, I don’t have to worry about leaving him behind, but with another baby, it’ll be back to square one? Sleepless nights, breast feeding, baby diaper bag, hospital visits. Aarrgh…the list is endless!

Why don’t I have the maternal instinct? Is it because I’m selfish?

Ok, logically, I should have another one. A girl would be nice tho’ I really don’t mind if it’s another boy. Nizzar is my only biological child right now. He’s the youngest and very soon, all his sisters and brothers would leave the house leaving just him at home. He’ll be bored. But if I have another one, then they can grow up together. Ok, that’s the plus point. But the downside is, with two smaller ones at home, susahlah sikit nak kemana2. Tak langgas, kata orang Perak.

Also, when I'm older, if I have two, I could rely on them to look after me. We'll never know what's gonna happen in the future. My stepchildren may not want to care for me since I'm not their real mother. If that's the case, where am I going to turn to when MrNordin is no longer around? Old folks' home?? (oh no!) At least kalau ada anak sendiri ramai sikit, adalah tempat mengadu, kata orang.

But these are all guessing games. We'll never know for sure. Maybe my own children will not give a hoot about me when I'm older, instead my stepchildren would be the ones who I would look after me. Mana tahu?

To tell you the truth, even before I had Nizzar, I was hesitant about having a child. We got married in Jan 2004. After 1 ½ years baru I decided to have one. Itu pun after so many people pushed me with the question bila lagi? bila lagi? Boring lah nak jawab soalan tu. It was by choice, ok? I didn’t have any problem conceiving.

MrNordin was cool about it. He already had 3 children, so another baby was not in his list of priorities. Until one day, I think some friends bugged him with that question. Usually, he was ok with just saying “Nanti lah dulu…’, but I think, that day, something snapped and he had a change of mind about the whole thing.

I still remember, he pulled me into the bathroom and locked the door when I was getting ready to go out. I was surprised. He asked me, “Do you want to have a baby or not?’ (selalu dia tak kisah pun… ). I said, “Err…. I don’t know….”. He asked again, “What do you mean you don’t know? Ramai orang dah tanya, tau? (I think dia terasa kelelakiannya telah tergugat bila ramai sangat orang bertanya soalan tu!) What’s your problem?”

So I told him. I was afraid of getting fat during pregnancy and he wouldn’t love me anymore. Hee… heee…. He convinced me he would still love me the same, fat or not fat, and removed all my fears about pregnancy. He said he'd help with changing the diapers and feeding the baby. And keluarlah segala cerita how he took care of Nadim when he was small and when they travelled on holiday dulu. I was convinced he would make a great daddy for my unborn child and what a great help he would be.

But talk is cheap, my dear... I forgot that was some 10 years back when he was 10 years younger. But that's besides the point. He helped, of course, but not as much as what i had anticipated during our conversation in the bathroom.

So that night, while making love, I told him, “Let’s make a baby..” And a month later, I discovered I was pregnant. It was that easy.

So this time around, if I ever decided to have another child, I hope it would still be that easy. But I know our bathroom conversation will no longer linger because my husband has already cautioned that if I ever decided to have another baby, he will not be of much help becoz dia dah tak larat.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

I've got tonnes of work, but I'm too lazy to start. Two paper work to be submitted before I go off for my holiday on the 9th. I think, I still got time.

I spoke to my mother just now. She complained about my youngest brother. His only child is going to stay with my parents next year because his wife (my SIL) is going to be posted back to Dungun for 6 months (she's doing her Masters at UiTM). Since my brother is still living and working in KL and my SIL will be in Terengganu temporarily, they have decided, for the benefit of the child, the boy will stay with my parents in Ipoh.

Being the only child, my nephew is somewhat spoilt. He is 6 years old but still can't read & write properly. He was put in a kindy since he was 4, but my mother felt that the kindy hasn't done justice to the child. And according to my mother, the boy has been neglected by his parents and as such, he has been left behind academically.

My mother was a teacher before, so she is very particular about these things. Pantang betul cucu dia tak pandai sekolah, you know what I mean? I was told, after the streaming test the other day, the boy was placed in the last class for Std 1 (out of 5 classes) and that has caused a major upset to my mother's nervous system. She called me and was almost in tears. She couldn't believe her cucu is not clever.

I told her to relax. I think, once the boy starts living with my parents, he will change and will become a better person. I know this because I know my mother's style of teaching. Selagi tak dapat, jangan bergerak dari meja study tu! She was very fierce.... I used to call her "Harimau Berantai"! But now maybe not so garang anymore. Age may have played down her character.

So, her call to me just now was to say that she was at lost on what to do with that little boy. I think, he has hurt her ego. My mother was once a teacher at that school which the boy is going to next year. If the cikgu2 there know that her cucu is in the last class, malu lah dia, kan? That's why she's going frolic over this!

Hai... susahlah macam ni. The boy hasn't even started school yet and my mother is making a big issue out of it. I foresee he's going to have a tough time with her Opah. Poor boy.... I need to talk to my brother this weekend.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The little boy is getting better. His body temperature is still a bit high but the coughing has somewhat subsided. He has also started eating again today. Alhamdulillah...

I think budak ni demam sebab nak bercakap. Yesterday, he was talking non-stop (despite the fever) and several new words came out of his mouth. Like, when I got home, he was in his pyjamas and wearing a pair of long socks. He said, "Baby demam... pakai sto-kin..". Sto-kin is a new word. So is "demam".

His latest craze is "Ultraman 3". It so happened that his big brother has a huge collection of Ultraman CDs and paraphernalia, gathered around the time when HE was the Ultraman of the house. So our friend pun syok lah watching one CD after another. Last night alone, I watched 6 rounds of Ultraman CDs! Oh God... sheer torture, I tell you!

That's my little Ultraman, taken last night, when he was fighting the 2 monsters that share the same bed with him, ie. his mummy (Ultraman 1) and daddy (Ultraman 2).

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

It's so hard to write these days. Time flies so fast. Just when I thought I had a good piece to write about, something else came up. And the list goes on.

It's exam time in the home front. Nadira is sitting for her SPM ~ 2nd day today. I picked her up from school after she finished her exam yesterday. She seemed happy. Said the BM and Sejarah papers were alright. Today is English and Sejarah 2.

Nabila is sitting for her final semester exam in college. She'll finish today. I need to pick her up from UiTM later tonight.

And I hate that. I hate it when I have to yell at some people whenever I reach home from office. It's not a nice feeling and I know they don't like it either. But he never listen. Dah berbuih2 mulut ni cakap, "Time yourself, don't play the whole day, give yourself a break after 2-3 hours, do something else, etc, etc...." Tak jugak berubah.

Selagi I tak jerit kat dia suruh berhenti, he will not stop. Macamana nak buat tu? As if whatever I've told him just fell on deaf ears. Pekak ke apa? I feel like I'm a broken record. I keep on saying the same thing over and over again and yet he never listen. And that frustrates me.

Sometimes I wish the TV monitor would terbakar so he cannot play anymore. Or his PS2 wire kena gigit tikus or something and it's beyond repair. I AM EVIL !

I don't mind if he wants to play his PS2 everyday, but he must know how to set a limit. I just don't understand how someone can sit infront of the TV screen for 10 bloody hours, EVERY DAY, and yet he doesn't get tired. Tapi bila suruh buat kerja sikit, like play with Nizzar, tak sampai 5 minute, “Abang tired..”, he said. Or, bila suruh set the table for meals, siap bergaduh with the sister sebab berkira sangat tak nak buat kerja lebih. Padahal, bukan ada buat apa pun kat rumah. And that riles me up.

How do I deal with this? This is my annual dilemma. It’s called the “School holiday/PS2 Dilemma”. It’s been 4 years and I still can't find an answer to it. I hope to make a difference this year because I don't want that young man to be doing nothing but play PS2 for the whole of the 1.5-month-long school holiday. I will go bonkers, I tell you!

P/s :To parents out there who still haven't got the PS2 for your boys (tho' they've been nagging you to buy it for them), I strongly recommend AVOID buying it at all costs ! (Unless you know how to discipline them and your children jenis yang tahu membahagikan masa.)

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Something funny happened last Saturday. This is going to be a long one, so bear with me.

On Friday night, Nadim asked me if he could go to Ampang Point with his friends on Saturday to buy some gifts and presents for their class party, which will be held this Saturday. He said, there’ll be 2 boys and 3 girls. Ok, that’s fine, I said.

So, on Saturday morning, after picking up Nabila from UiTM, we sent him off. But there had been a change of plan ~ tak jadi pegi Ampang Point pulak, instead, he had to meet his friends in school (Melawati). The jam was pretty bad last Saturday and MrNordin was not very pleased with the fact that he had to drive all the way to Melawati to send Nadim. But no choice lah kan, our friend was very “excited” about going.

So we braved the jam and dropped him off at his school’s gate. We didn’t see any of “his friends” in the vicinity, but he said they were waiting inside. But before getting down from the car, he asked me for some pocket money for “makan-makan”. So, I gave him RM20 sebab kesian budak ni kan, first time keluar dengan kawan2 cam tu and nak beli gifts for the teachers and friends…

After dropping him off, we all went to Pavillion for lunch. We went to Carl’s Junior. We had quite a big meal and so after that, we decided to walk it off. Stopped by at Speedy to look for Richard Scarry’s videos for Nizzar. MrNordin was browsing in the front while I was busy at the back with Nizzar and Nadira.

Tiba2, I saw Nadim hiding behind a pillar infront of that video shop! He was looking at MrNordin. Next to him was Nabila, who was smiling like a chesire cat because she had caught her brother red-handed. “Baba, Nadim’s here!”, said Nabila. We were surprised to see him there. “What are you doing here, Nadim? I thought you were in Melawati?!”, asked his father. Dengan muka yang pucat, he ran up to his father and explained, “Sorry lah Baba… sorry lah Baba!!", he apologized.

It seemed they had brought some things from Melawati for the teachers but there were still something which they couldn’t find for the students. One of the “friends” (which I didn’t see anywhere there) said at Memory Lane Pavillion ada sale, so they all went there. Little did he realize that we all would be there as well! The irony was, that Memory Lane shop was just opposite the Speedy video. So I was very sure when he saw his father infront of the video shop, he must be going, “Oh shit! My father!”

Anyway, MrNordin was pretty cool about it. He didn’t ask many questions (much to my surprise) and let the boy off. I asked him, you tak marah ke? He said, “Nantilah, balik nanti siap lah budak ni!”. I think, on one hand, he was angry that Nadim didn’t tell him about going to Pavillion, but on the other hand, he was quite happy sebab nanti we can all go back together. Tak payah nak pegi ambil dia balik kat Melawati.

So we continued browsing. While we were at Parkson, Nadim texted his father saying that there were a lot of things that they needed to buy so he would take sometime. The father said, ok.

At about 3.30pm, as we were sitting down for drinks at Kopitiam, we decided to go to Red Box and rest there. I dah tak larat nak mengejar si Nizzar kat Pavillion tu. The idea was, when Nadim finished his shopping, he could meet us there. So, MrNordin called his son. To his surprise, Nadim said he was already back in Melawati!

Ha? Apasal balik Melawati? Apasal tak talipon beritau? Punyalah mengamuk orang tua tu! I didn’t know what Nadim said to him, but the next thing I heard, MrNordin said, “You stay put there and don’t move anywhere! I’m coming to get you now! This is too much lah!”

So there goes our karaoke plan. In the car going to Melawati, we were discussing why Nadim did what he did. We smelled something fishy there, but no one wanted to owned up. We asked Nabila, who first saw Nadim at Pavillion, who was Nadim with at that time. She just gave a non-committal answer, “They were Nadim’s friends, Baba…”. Ya lah, tak tau ke lelaki or perempuan? “Entahlah Baba… they were his friends....”

We knew that was a cover up. They do this sometimes, the kids. MrNordin kata, “Nabila ni dah kena suap dengan Nadim ni! Berapa banyak Nadim bagi you to shut up, Nabila?!” She just kept quiet right behind the car. (Probably, all of the RM20 I gave him)

When we arrived at the school, Nadim was waiting alone at the front gate. He looked calm. The moment he got into the car, MrNordin asked him, “So, Nadim, now you tell me what actually happened today. From the time I dropped you off until now. Why didn’t you tell me about going to Pavillion?!”.

So his story is this:

When he arrived at school, there were 4 of them ~ Afiq, Imran and this 2 “S” class boys (which he didn’t know the name). They went to buy the stuff at Melawati and then suddenly, another friend (also named Afiq) called from Pavillion, saying that he and another friend (Iskandar ke apa nama dia) were stuck there. It seemed these 2 boys had bought some stuff there and ran out of money. So they couldn't come back. So they called these boys in Melawati and asked them to pick them up.

I asked him, “What were they doing in Pavillion? How did they go there in the first place?” Dengan beriya nya Nadim menjawab, ‘Tu lah… we were very mad at them as well! Apasal pegi Pavillion tapi tak bawak cukup duit? Now we all had to go and fetch them! Menyusahkan betul!”, he said.

Ok, ok…. this is getting interesting. Ceritanya dah lain dah ni...

“And then what happened?”, we asked. He said, his friend Afiq then called his driver to fetch them from Melawati and off they went to Pavillion to pick these 2 boys up and came back to Melawati. I asked, “Kenapa kena panggil driver si Afiq ni pulak? Why didn’t they go back on their own?” “Entahlah...”, kata si Nadim. “And you knowlah, Baba… he’s a driver… so he could take us around…”, added Nadim trying to convince us. (macam driver orang tu tak de kerja lain, kan?)

We didn’t buy the story, but we let him play along. Then MrNordin said, “Ramainya you all ni… 5 at Melawati, 2 at Pavillion, plus the driver, there were 8 of you! Kereta apa driver dia bawak?”

“Estima, Baba”, kata si Nadim.

Ooohh... Estima. Ok…

“Nadim, I think your story is BULLSHIT!!", said MrNordin. "I’ve heard two versions of your story. First, when I met you at Pavillion, you told me you went there to buy some more things with your friends. Now you’re telling me, your friends were already there at Pavillion and you went there to pick them up. Mana satu yang betul ni? To me, when there are two different stories, that means both are incorrect! Both are rubbish, Nadim!”

Nadim was stunned. We all just kept quiet. Then MrNordin said, “I’m giving you one last chance now to tell me the truth, Nadim! You’d better tell me the truth, before I call you a liar. And when I do that, it means I won’t trust you anymore. I wouldn’t know if your class party ni betul2 ada ke or you’re just lying about it as well!”

Nadim kept quiet. Then he tried to start the story again, with Afiq and Imran and whoever names lagi lah dia pakai. And his story got all jumbled up. When we pressed him for details, he couldn’t answer. When we asked him where the girls were in this story (because it’s all about boys je kan from the beginning), he said, “The girls tu ada, but we “coincidentally” met them at Pavillion.”

Oohh… “coincidentally…” Hee.. hee… sumpah penipu!

Tanya punya tanya punya tanya, he got all confused and trapped in his own lies. In the end he confessed,

“Ok lah Baba… ok lah Baba… let me tell you the truth. Actually, there were NO boys during the outing. It was just me and 3 other girls...”, said Nadim.

All kept quiet. There was a moment of silent in the car.

Then the line of questioning started all over again. Why didn’t you tell us? He was afraid we would get angry. How did they go to Pavillion? Naik LRT from Wangsa Maju. How did they get to Wangsa Maju? Naik teksi.

Oh my… for a first outing, budak ni memang did the whole works lah. Girls, taxi and LRT ~ the three things yang bapak dia memang pantang dia buat at this age. He said the girls invited him to “chaperon” them. Why you alone? He said, the other boys in their class are “selekeh” and he is friendly towards the girls.

The first version of his story made more sense although it was not near the truth. He went to Pavillion with the girls to buy the stuff but he couldn’t join us because nanti the girls tu nak balik dengan siapa? He couldn't abandon them there. He felt responsible towards them and so they all senyap2 balik Melawati without telling us, hoping that we will be ok fetching him there. But when he sensed than his father was angry with him for going back to Melawati, he had to cook up some story lah. That’s why all this Afiq and Imran and whatever punya nama tu terkeluar..

Sampai rumah, kena lecturelah dengan MrNordin. The thing is, we didn’t mind his conduct. Girls ke, apa ke… tak kisah as long as you tell us what actually happened and where you went. The fact that he lied to us about it made us very worried. Once you’re caught lying, it’s going be hard for us to trust him again after this. But he didn’t realise all that. The thing is, he knew we wouldn’t allow him to naik taxi and LRT tu, but he was very adamant to go. That’s why he lied.

Very bad judgement, Nadim. You should have come out with the truth when you bumped into us at Pavillion!

Tuhan tu nak tunjuk kan? We didn’t know he was going to shop at Memory Lane and he didn’t know we were going to Speedy either. By chance, we met there and because of that too, we knew he was up to something.’ MrNordin told Nadim, “You can lie to us but you cannot lie to God. And you know your Mama is always watching you… I think, that’s why we met you at Pavillion. They “showed” us the way. Otherwise, who would have known, right?” Terkedu dia… and he almost cried, said MrNordin.

I told the girls, “This is a lesson learnt for you all. Never lie to Baba or me coz you WILL be caught!” They just kept quiet.

Later that night, we went out for dinner sans the kids. They stayed at home and ordered pizza. My maid later told me that Nadira was giving Nadim a lecture at the dining table on why he should always tell the truth. “If you’re afraid Baba will not let you go, justify your reasons and Baba will eventually let you go,” said Nadira. Nabila didn’t say much coz dia pun bersubahat dengan Nadim.

But this time, Nadim memang kantoi. Teenagers at that age are prone to doing this. So mums out there, keep an eye on them, ok? Instil in them the importance of being truthful. Never lie coz once you're caught, you'll be in BIG trouble!

Friday, October 31, 2008

Made, MrNordin's pet bird, died today. Made was a mynah bird who could talk and laugh, and was very clever at imitating people's conversation. It was a birthday gift to MrNordin from his late wife.

Made developed some kind of boil or "bisul" near his left cheek, a result of too much iron in his diet. It started before bulan puasa and the boil grew bigger and bigger until it reached the size of a limau kasturi. Round and hard like that.

I got worried and persuaded MrNordin to bring the bird to the vet. I was afraid the puss would infect other parts of the bird's body, which could be fatal. MrNordin didn't want to bring him to the hospital initially as he was afraid the doctor wouldn't know how to treat a bird and the bird would die. But I insisted coz in my opinion, a vet would know better what to do. But he still refused.

At the same time, I asked a few people who own mynah birds if they knew what to do. They told me to just leave the bird as it is as the boil would heal by itself overtime. It seemed, it is a common disease for mynah birds like Made due to possibly too much iron in his food. So, I relented and we decided not to take him to the vet, hoping it'll cure by itself.

But nearing hari raya, we saw there was no improvement in Made's condition. So MrNordin agreed to bring him to the Animal Hospital for an expert's opinion. The senior doctor there was not really sure what to do at first, but gave us a 2-weeks' supply of antibiotics for Made and told us to bring him back after that for further analysis.

With the antibiotics, the boil got somewhat better. From yellowish in color, it turned blackish and rather dry. But it was still quite large and remained dangling near his left cheek. Made however, seemed normal. He was eating as usual. Sometimes he made some sounds but not as frequent as before.

So on Monday, we took him to the Animal Hospital again. We asked if the doctor could remove the boil. The doctor cautioned that they needed to do some tests first coz they were afraid the boil could be connected to other parts of its body, and if that was the case, a surgery was not advisable. We allowed him to do the tests and the results proved positive. It was just external.

So yesterday, Made had the operation. It was a minor surgery. MrNordin called me from JB at 4pm yesterday and told me that the doctor said the operation was successful. Made had just recovered from the anaesthetic and was resting. MrNordin sounded happy. But doctor advised that Made should be left at the hospital for a couple more days for observation. That's fine.

Today, at 2.20 pm, I received a call from the Animal Hospital. The doctor informed me that Made has gotten weak. He was ok in the morning, but as he made the call, the bird could not stand on its two feet anymore. I was shocked. I asked him, "Is he gonna die?" He said, "Possibly."

Oh my God! What am I going to do? This can't happen, Made cannot die! My husband will be so heart broken! That's his favourite bird!!!! I was at GE Mall with my friends at that time. So I told my friends to get in the car quickly coz there was an emergency. My bird was dying!

I drove very fast and when I reached the hospital, I asked to see Made. The doctor on duty gave me a nod and went inside. I waited for a while at the reception but no one invited me in to the boarding area. Then I saw someone bringing a small brown box, the size of Made. I screamed at the nurse, "WHERE'S MY BIRD? IS HE DEAD??" The girl looked at me and when I saw her face, I knew the answer already. "I'm sorry...", she said.

I burst into tears! I went there hoping that I could still see him alive but I was too late. Made has died. Poor thing... I sat down and cried and cried and cried. At the back of my mind, I was thinking how am I going to break the news to my husband? He's gonna be shattered!

To cut the story short, I took Made's dead body home. At home, we were contemplating when was the best time to tell MrNordin. We decided to tell him when he got home tonight.

He just got back and I've told him about it. He was pretty calm tho' I know deep inside, he regretted sending Made to the hospital. I showed him Made's body which we kept in the fridge. He took one look and told us to take it away. I said I'm sorry and I feel so guilty for pushing him to send the bird to the hospital. He said, that's alright.

Tomorrow morning, we'll hold the 'upacara pengkebumian' for Made. We'll bury him in the garden where we buried many of our loved pets which had passed on.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

First thing in the morning, Nadim called me up and said he doesn't want to go to school today. I told him to go, no choice coz I don't like him to ponteng sekolah. Then later, he called me again and said Pakcik Mat cannot get him in time coz they're still not back from Shah Alam. I looked at my watch and it showed 11.30am. So I called my MIL.

You see, my MIL, FIL and another aunty went to Shah Alam this morning to send Nabila back to her college. They went with Pakcik Mat in our Naza. I couldn't send her coz I'm at work and when MrNordin is not around, my parents in law would volunteer to send her off. I've no qualm about that. Infact, I'm thankful to them for wanting to send her back.

But they went at 9am this morning and by 11.30am, they should have come back already. But when I spoke to my MIL, she said they were still not anywhere near and had asked my BIL, Nas, to send the kids to school. Upon hearing this, I knew Nadim will not go to school today because my BIL doesn't give a hoot about his kids going to school or not. His kids memang dah siang2 kata tak nak pegi sekolah, why should he go and send Nadim alone, right? So, Nadim pun tak pegi sekolah lah hari ni (much to his delight!).

As for me, I was mad lah of course. Firstly, Nadim couldn't go to school. Secondly, other people "dissappeared" with my car, entah mana pegi sampai lambat balik. I was trembling with anger and so, I wrote to MrNordin to vent out my frustrations.

B, today Nadim tak pegi sekolah sebab Pakcik Mat tak sempat balik from sending Nabila. I don’t know why it’s taking so long for them to return home from UiTM when they had left at 9am tadi. I called mak, she said Nas will send the kids to school. But Nas is busy, so he cannot send them. As a result, all 3 (Nadim, Nabil, Jimbo) tak pegi sekolah! (of course, Nabil & Jimbo memang tak nak pegi sekolah)

I’m so MAD becoz last night, I had told Nadim to go to school eventho’ he had said he wanted to ponteng today. Reason being: if at home, he’ll do nothing but play PS2 and I don’t want that. Furthermore, he still has another exam tomorrow ~ Pendidikan Jasmani. It may not seem like a big paper, but the point is, I don’t want him to skip school. Period.

But today, due to unavoidable circumstances, that boy is not going to school. And I’m fuming mad here coz I’ve lost my case. But when I spoke to him just now, I told him not to play the PS2. And I made him promise he will do as I said. Otherwise, he’s so not going to his class party!!

Could you check on him after this and tell him the same? I hate it when budak2 tak pegi sekolah. Duduk rumah pun bukan ada buat apa. Kalau ada tolong tengokkan Nizzar ke, or play with him ke, or kemas rumah ke, tak apa jugak. Ini duduk memerap dalam bilik or TV room with no care about what’s happening to the rest of the world!! Arghhhhhh!! Help!!

Sorry, had to vent this out coz I’m so angry. Analyse this, pls. Who am I angry with? With Nadim (for not going to school?), Mak (for balik lambat from hantar Nabila and using our car for other purposes?), Nas (for malas nak menghantar budak2 ke sekolah?), or myself (for making such a big deal out of it?)

Take it easy B, I am sure there is an explanation for the delay. Anyway I was made to understand that they were using their car (Waja) to drive Nabila not ours. Bang Mat left our Naza at Mak’s house and took the Waja instead reason being, Mak finds it difficult getting and out of the Nazar. Anyway I will check on this.

About Nadim, I will call him and find out more on his "programme" today since he has somewhat "prevented" from going to school today.

Don’t get yourself all stress up B, take it easy and go and have a ziggie. Things will fall into places in due time. Will call you later when you have somewhat cool down and more relax ok.

I broke into tears reading your reply coz you know my weakness and you read me well. Only you can do that and I’m so glad you gave me an immediate reply. Your reply has somewhat diffused my anger. After reading it, I felt that it’s unfair of me to throw such accusations like that. Nadim not going to school is not such a big deal after all. Why did I get so uptight over it just now? I don’t know....

Don’t bother investigating more whether they took the Waja or Naza. It doesn’t matter anymore. But I’d appreciate it if you could just call Nadim later and find out what he’s doing. The rest – let’s just drop it, ok?

I will go and have my cigarette later. I just wish you were here..

Thanks, B.

From: MrNordinSent: 30 Oct 2008 1: 30pmTo: MrsNordin

That's why we make an excellent couple bcos we read each other ups and downs pretty well. Don't blame yourself on the going ons today, its one of those days where you need to vent out your anger and it cld hv been other things.

Me not being there may hv something to do with it too and I feel the same here sometimes when I am not with you and the kids, I think the feeling of missing the loved ones can trigger the frustration and anger.

As for our dear Nadim, I spoke to him and he told me that he has promised you not to play PS2 today. I feel he is genuine and he knows that you are serious abt it. I told him to play and entertain Nizzar and he said he will but I don't know how long that will last - you know how the 'little pengganas' is when he is on full swing.

I will call you later and hang it there B, love ya..... and miss you lots !

Anyway, Nadira is at mak's house now. She sms me just now. She said mak, abah, auntie and pakcik mat fetched her from school. I asked her in which car? She said the Naza and they came straight from Shah Alam.

B... I miss you so much!! You know why I feel this way? I think becoz you're not around and they're not telling me what they were up to. And I feel sidelined. I think, they should at least inform me why they were late.

I don't care if they want to shop the whole day pun, but at least let me know coz when you're not around, I feel I'm in charged and I should be informed. But no, mak will only tell you and not me. And why is that? I'm not important??

Oh well.. I could very well pick up the phone and call mak now and ask her what happened. But malas lah... I shall just leave it at that. Anyway, the girls had told me the real story, so I know already.

B, just bear with my ranting, ok? It's a healing process. I don't know why for some reasons, I'm hyper-sensitive today. I've nothing against mak and you know that. I hope you wouldn't think bad of me for writing all this.

How I wish you're here.... you will keep me stable.

Btw, a juvenile from a nearby primary school 'dropped' a stone on my car's windscreen (from the flyover dekat Bismillah tu) as I was driving out for lunch. It caused a big crack. I managed to catch the boy by the roadside and gave him a piece of my mind. I told him the police will come and get him from his house later today. He was scared shit! Hee.. hee... To change the windscreen will probably cost me another RM1,000+..... sigh... apa lah malang nasib hari ni...

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

So, Mdm Tai Tai came home for a short while last week. She was on holiday in Singapore. I didn't get to see much of her this time except for the outing we had last Wednesday with 3 other friends. Sigh... what to do.... time was not on our side. But when I saw her this time, it felt as if I just met her a week before. As if she never left at all. That familiar.

As usual, she brought gifts for us. She gave me a beautiful black necklace and Superwoman got a lovely string of pearls. Mdm, next time you should stop buying for us. You just made us feel bad about ourselves!

Breakfast, or rather brunch, was held at one of the Cafes at The Curve. I can't remember the name but it's opposite Italiannies. Sharinaz brought along her daughter, Yasmeen, who's turning 3 in November. My God, the girl is so well-behaved! We were there from 10am until 1pm (a good 3 hours!) but the little girl just sat there silently beside her mother. No whining, no crying, no attention grabbing tactic. I was amazed at how easy it was for my friend Sharinaz to have a good conversation with us despite having a toddler in tow. Kalau si Nizzar, I don't think I could even finish my coffee!

As I sat there watching the little girl, how I wish Nizzar would be more like her so I could bring him along whenever I meet up with my friends. Unfortunately, that will not happen for now lah, kan? My other friends said, a child's behaviour depends a lot on the parents' behaviour. Really? Well, in some ways, maybe they are right.

My friend Sharinaz is the most gentle person I've ever met. She is so soft spoken and ever so lembut. I've never heard her raised her voice or screamed at anyone before. I always envy her for her finesse and always wished I could speak as gently as she does. But that's just my wishful thinking. Although we were born on the same day (23rd July 1968), our characters are different. She's soft spoken, I'm loud. She's gentle, I'm rough. She laughs sheepishly, I laugh out loud. The only thing that's similar is, our husbands used to and are working in the same organization now! Who would have thought of that, huh?

So, I'm not surprised if her daughter is so well-behaved. Like what my stepchildren used to say, "Alah... you dulu masa pregnant, mana lalu diam, Aunty Yati...." Well, point taken.

Although we didn't get to do much this time, it was always nice to see Mdm Tai Tai. I don't know when we'll meet again, but hopefully, not too long. Thanks for a wonderful time, dear friends. Until we meet again, take care.