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Monday, March 10, 2014

An Olfactory Betrayal

I have a distressing confession to
make.

My new favorite fragrance is Nirvana
Black. It is full-bodied without being heavy. Spicy without being
incense-y. With just a hint of sweetness, but not so much that you
could be mistaken for a roll of Smarties.

It is manufactured by the Elizabeth and
James brand.

Which is owned by Mary Kate and Ashley
Olsen.

I am fifty-three years old.

I am too old to purchase a perfume from
the brand which brought us How the West Was Fun and New
York Minute.

Plus, I have never been a sucker for
celebrity endorsement.

The first thought which pops into my
head when I see someone's name on a bottle of perfume is: Why
would I want to smell like Elizabeth Taylor (too divorcee) ,
Christina Aguilera (too Idol-y), David Beckham (too sweaty) or
Jennifer Aniston (too friend-y).

Except for Judy
Garland.

Actually, back from
the grave Judy Garland.

It was the Clinique
campaign using vintage video of Judy in her black bodysuit and top
hat singing "Come on Get Happy" that prompted me to run out
do just that. The fragrance is exactly as advertised. I can't wear it
without feeling happy.

And now this.

Nirvana-Black.

I feel all
mysterious and sophisticated when I spritz my sample bottle* to my
wrists. I want to sit in cafes with striped awnings dripping rain and
drink french press coffee in my long flowy skirt and oversized bowler
hat as I wait for a dark stranger with a luxuriously full head of
hair to arrive and whisk me away on his motorcycle.

Not at all the
image I get when I think of a fragrance by two tweeny-bopper icons.

Have Mercy!

(Okay, this is NOT the catchphrase
from that spunky Michelle Tanner (aka – MaryKate and Ashley)
because seriously. I did not watch Full House for a goofy looking
baby. Like every other woman in America I watched it for Uncle Jesse
aka John Stamos. And thankfully that fact has not gone unnoticed by
the Greek Yogurt Society.

Thank you Oikos.)

*This
is in no way endorsed, nor paid for Elizabeth and James. My sample
bottle is just that – a teensy little spritz which the counter girl
at Sephora** filled for me after I spent one too many Benjamins on a
cover stick.

**This
is also in no way endorsed by Sephora. But should the marvelous
people at Sephora consider contacting me, I am down with whatever you
have in mind.

1 comment:

haha--man, I can certainly understand loving a scent but not the celebrity who endorses it...I guess celebrity endorsements can cut both ways...and I'm not much of a fan of anyone so I don't really buy from any "named" brands...

Blah Blah...

I'm a landlocked beach bum here on the Coast of Illinois. No...not that Coast, you know, the one with broad shoulders. The other Coast. The one with tug boats and Arches and a bunch of ancient dead guys buried in Mounds.
I am an inadvertent sailor-thanks to my husband and our 15 foot handmade wooden sloop...for which I made the sails!
I am here to promote the beach bum lifestyle, even when surrounded by corn and clay and I hope to point out the everyday weirdness that is easy to miss because once you start seeing hairnets, you will never stop seeing hairnets.