The 76-Year-Old Porn Star

Oct. 19, 2010

Granny Anni stopped by to tell the crew why she'd turned to porn at the age of 76: "I was in the computer field for over 40 years." She'd also been unsatisfied with each of her three marriages: "I dumped them. Not enough sex." To make up for lost time, Anni plans to beat the 251-man world record for an interracial gangbang: "It will not be marathon f'ing. I will have fluffers. It will be insertion and cum, insertion and cum, insertion and cum..." Howard asked what Anni was wearing underneath her raincoat, so she stripped to reveal a negligee--Howard wished he'd had time to prepare himself: "That's some vagina, you've got. My goodness. It's really startling when you do that." Howard also noted that Anni had 'Gang Bang Queen' tattooed on her breasts.

She Really Likes Doggy Style

Anni told Howard she'd once adopted a dog so she could have sex with it: "Taboo I guess...I adopted him for 10 days to see if we would get along." Howard was puzzled: "How does one train a dog to have sex with you?" Anni shrugged ("Very easily.") that she'd give the dog a handjob to "get him prepared" and then let him enter her missionary-style: "He was too small to mount me so I laid on my back." Howard was ill-prepared for Anni's story: "Suddenly the gangbang seems tame." Anni then said she'd also given the dog oral and found its load to be "very salty." Howard began to gag: "I'm going to vomit!" Even more unbelievable was Anni's claim that she was good friends with Britney Spears: "We talk. We're friends." Asked for details, Anni refused to elaborate, only saying that she'd "met her online. Just met her online one day."

Granny Meets Sally

Howard asked Sal to come in, as he's a vocal proponent of granny porn, and Sal immediately took to Anni: "Oh yeah, I'd plow the shit out of her." Sal tried his hand at dirty-talking ("Rub that snapper for Sally.") Anni into a 'mood' but Howard quickly became disgusted, kicked him out of the studio and thanked Anni for coming by.