Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can’t get my diskette out.Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?Customer: Yes, sure, it’s really stuck.Tech support: That doesn’t sound good; I’ll make a note.Customer: No, wait a minute… I hadn’t inserted it yet… it’s still on my desk… Sorry….

**********
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?Female customer: A white one…Tech support: Click on the ‘my computer’ icon on to the left of the screen.Customer: Your left or my left?

**********
Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?Male customer: Hello… I can’t print.Tech support: Would you click on “start” for me and…Customer: Listen pal; don’t start getting technical on me! I’m not Bill Gates.

**********

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can’t print. Every time I try, it says ‘Can’t find printer’. I’ve even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can’t find it…

**********

Customer: I have problems printing in red…Tech support: Do you have a color printer?Customer: Aaaah………………..thank you.
**********Tech support: What’s on your monitor now, ma’am?Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.

**********

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.Tech support: Are you sure it’s plugged into the computer?Customer: No. I can’t get behind the computer.Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces backCustomer: OKTech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: YesTech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?Customer: Yes, there’s another one here. Ah…that one does work…

**********

Tech support: Your password is the small letter “a” as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

**********

Customer: I can’t get on the Internet.Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?Customer: Yes, I’m sure. I saw my colleague do it.Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?Customer: Five stars.

**********

Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?Customer: Netscape.Tech support: That’s not an anti-virus program.Customer : Oh, sorry…Internet Explorer.

**********

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

**********

Tech support: How may I help you?Customer: I’m writing my first e-mail.Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?Customer: Well, I have the letter ‘a’ in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

**********

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.Tech support: Are you running it under windows?Customer: “No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.”

This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice.

1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we
face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****. I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.

2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the ’shut down ‘ button.

3. There is a button ’start’ but there is no “stop” button. We request you to check this.

4. We find there is ‘Run’ in the menu. One of my friend clicked ‘run ‘ has ran up to Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to “sit”, so that we can click that by sitting.

5. One doubt is that any ‘re-scooter’ available in system? As I find only ‘re-cycle’, but I own a scooter at my home.

6. There is ‘Find’ button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this ‘ find’, but unable to trace. Is it a bug??

7. Every night I am not sleeping as I have to protect my ‘mouse’ from CAT, So I suggest u to provide one DOG to kill that cat.

8. Please confirm when u are going to give me money for winning ‘HEARTS’ (playing cards in games) and when are u coming to my home to collect your money.

9. My child learnt ‘Microsoft word’ now he wants to learn ‘Microsoft sentence’, so when u will provide that?

10. Hey what is this, I brought computer, cpu, mouse and keypad, but there is only one icon with ‘MY Computer’, what happened to the remaining?

11. There is not even single photo of mine in the ‘MY Pictures’.. when u will keep my photo in that.

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.