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It’s time to stop being an asshole.

In February, I wrote this post about the fact I was too drunk in January to write a blog post. At the time, that was mostly true.

But now, I’m going to tell you the real and honest truth.

I’m an asshole.

Seriously. I kept saying I’d write more, and then I didn’t. And I kept saying I was sorry (and actually, I was). But then I didn’t do anything about it. I kept saying that I promised it would be different, I promised I’d change, I knew I needed to improve and I really, truly wanted to! But I didn’t.

I’m literally the worst significant other you’ve ever had.

So here’s where the truth comes out: I’m a jerk. And I cannot promise that I won’t be a jerk again in the future. BUT, this time, I’m actually going to try and do better. And here’s why:

In January, I am moving. Not just moving. MOVING. Like, I am leaving this country and moving to a different one. AMERICA, BE GONE. I’m gonna become a full blown European asshole. (Not that all Europeans are assholes. They are not. But I’m an asshole, and now instead of being an American asshole, I’ll be a European one. Whoopeee!)

So why does this change the blog situation? you might ask. (Or you might not. Which is fair, cuz I suck and why should you care?)

Well, I realized I am going to have good stories. Because in putting myself in a completely foreign and crazy life situation, I’m bound to have ridiculous adventures and do stupid things. And, well, writing about it will somehow ground me and make me feel connected to all of you who aren’t in Europe with me.

Yes, I am feeling mildly sentimental at the moment. And I’ve also consumed about 3/4 of a bottle of red wine. BUT I PROMISE I SPEAK THE TRUTH.

I’ve actually got some good stories already from this past summer, and I know there are more to come. For instance, I have a vacation planned next month in Iceland, and apparently buying groceries there is hilarious. So I’m pretty pumped to do that and tell y’all about it. Because why not? I don’t actually give a fuck if you read this or not.

(Ok I do. I’m trying to make myself feel better, ok? Life on the internet is lonely.)

But for reals. I do want to stay in touch, and this seems like the best way. Sure, maybe you won’t know about everything I do, but most of what I do revolves around booze and food, so you’ll get a pretty decent picture. No, this won’t be a travel blog, per se. But for some drunken traveler out there, maybe it’ll be the right blog.