Biyernes, Agosto 12, 2011

The New Yorker in Tondo

A satirical play written by Marcelino Agana Jr.

"New Yorker in Tondo" is a classic Filipino Play by Marcelino Agana, Jr. It is a satire written in the 50's. It is a story about a girl named Kikay who goes to New York and fell in love with it. She acquires all the New Yorkish things - style, looks, language and manners. These things are very obvious when she arrives in the Philippines specifically in Tondo.

Aling Atang, mother of Kikay, has been carried away by her daughters way of living. She tries to converse with everybody in broken English.

Tony, childhood sweetheart of Kikay, decides to visit and catch things up with her friend. He is a simple guy who got secretly engaged with their other childhood friend, Nena.

Nena is a tomboyish type of girl. On her visit in Kikay's house, she finds her friend different and weird. She gets irritated and even imitates Kikay's ways.

Totoy, the Tondo "canto boy" is their other friend who is funny and has a secret love for Nenan which has only been revealded when the two females had a clash.

Near the end, the secret love of the characters in the story is revealded. And the two pairs end up in each other's arms. Kikay is back to her old self -- simple and kind. Most of all, the Filipino value learned by the protagonist which is "there is no place like home", is a lesson on love of country and its culture.

(Kikay is reading a letter from her Mother with Honey and Arlene ) Dear Kikay, I miss you na, and super like to be see of your view. Because it’s very sad here in Tondo, please go home na, coz I am very lonely. Love, Your mommy dear, Atang.

I told her to call herself Mrs. Mendoza! Oh well, I needed to go back to Tondo!

Marissa

(Enters) Tondo? Why are you going there?(Going to a book shelf and scribble one thick book)

Arianne

(Enters) Too bad, I’m gonna miss you, Darling!

Kikay

I know, imagine dati, I’m just a newbie who wants to study Hair Culture and Beauty Science, Then, now, I’m going back na…

Jamie

Whaaat? Who’s going back to their stupid country?

Kikay

Me…

Jamie

You? OMG! It’s super stupidity!

Kikay

I know.. And surely, I’ll be the hottest girl there…

Arianne

Isn’t Tondo too hot for you?

Marissa

Hey Francesca, Look at this! This says, Tondo is established with a church, but the church is famous for its bangketa or a cheaper bazaar.

The song becames louder and plays for 15 seconds. The stage is still empty until Mrs. Mendoza comes in, dress in leggings and off shoulder dress, high heels and a crazy hair cut. She carries a big bag full of make ups and stuffs.

(A knock is heard) (As she walks toward the door) Visitors. always visitors, nothing but visitors all day long. Naku, I’m beginning to feel like a society mah-tron.

(She opens door. Tony steps in, carrying a bouqet. Tony is 26, dressed to kill, and is suave type. Right now, however, he is feeling a trifle nervous. He starts slightly on seeing Mrs. Mendoza.)

mrs. m

Tony! I thought you were in the province.

tony

(Staring) But is that you, Aling Atang?

mrs. m

(Laughing) Of course, it’s I , foolish boy. Who did you think it was... Carmen Rosales?

tony

You... you don’t look like Aling Atang.

mrs. m

(Shyly touching her hair) I had my haircut. Do I look so horrible?

Tony

Oh, no,no... you look just wonderful, aling atang. For a moment I thought you were your own daughter. I thought you were Kikay.

mrs. m

(Playfully slapping his cheek) Oh, you are so palikero as ever, tony. But come in, come. (She moves toward furniture and Tony follows.) Here, have a seat. How is your mother?

tony

(As he sits down, still holding bouqet) Oh, poor mother is terribly homesick for Tondo, Aling Atang. She wants to come back here at once.

mrs. m

(Standing beside his chair, putting an apron) How long have you been away?

tony

Only Three months.

mrs. m

Only three months? Three months is too long for Tondenia to be away from Tondo. Aie, my poor kumare, how bored she must be out there!

tony

Well, Aling Atang, you know how it is for us engineers. We must go where our job calls us. But as soon as I have finished with that bridge in Bulacan, mother and I are going back to Tondo.

mrs. m

Yes, you must bring her back as soon as possible. We miss her whenever we play panguinge.

tony

(Laughing) That is what she misses of all.

mrs. m

Now I understand what she feels! Your mother can never, neve rbecome a provinciana, Tony. Once a Tondenia, always a Tondenia, I always say. (She pauses, struck by thought) But I wonder if that’s true after all. Look at my Kikay ; she was there in America for a whole year, and she says that she never felt homesick at all!

(Plaintively) That girl only arrived last Monday and look what has happened to me! When she first saw me, she was furious. She said that I needed a complete overhauling. She dragged me off to the beauty parlor, and look what she has done to me!My hair was cut, eyebrows shaved, nails manicured. And when I’m going to the market, I used lipstick! All my kumare are laughing. People think I’m a...a...what you call that again? ... loose woman. And at my age too! But what can I do. You know how impossible it is to argue with Kikay. And she says that I must learn how to look and act like an Americana because I have a daughter who has been to America. Dios mio, do I look like an American?

tony

(Too worried to pay much attention) You look just wonderful Aling Atang. And... and where is she now?

mrs. m

(Who’s rather engrossed in her troubles too) Who?

tony

Kikay? Is she at home?

mrs. m

Of course, she is at home! She’s still sleeping.

tony

(Glancing at his watch) Still sleeping!

mrs. m

She says that in New York people do not wake up before Twelve o’clock noon.

tony

(Glancing at his watch once more) It’s only Ten O’clock now!

mrs. m

Besides, she has been very, very busy. Uy, the life of that giurl since she came home! Welcome parties here and welcome parties there, and visitors all day long! That girl has been spinning around like top!

Tony

(Rising disconsolately) Well, will you just tell her I called... to welcome her home. Oh, and will you please give her these flowers?

mrs. m

(Taking flowers) But surely, you’re not going yet, Tony?

tony

I want to see Kikay, Aling Atang, but if she doesn’t get up until twelve noon...

mrs. m

(Firmly) She’s going to get up right now and see you, Tony. Why, you and she grew up together! Sit right down again, Tony... I will go and wake her up.

tony

Oh, please don’t bother, Aling Atang. I can come back some other time.

mrs. m

(Moving Away) You wait right there, Tony. She’ll be simply delighted to see her old childhood friend. And she’ll want to thank you in person for these flowers. How beautiful they are Tony... How expensive they must be!

Tony

(Sitting down again) Oh, they’re nothing at all, Aling Atang.

mrs. m

(Pausing already at center doorway) Oh, Tony...

tony

Yes, Aling Atang?

mrs. m

You must not call me “Aling Atang”

tony

Why not?

mrs. m

Kikay doesn’t like it. She says I must tell people to call me Mrs. Mendoza. She says it is more civilized form of address. So... especially in front of Kikay... you must call me, Mrs. Mendoza.

tony

Yes, Aling...I mean, yes, Mrs. Mendoza.

mrs. m

(Turning to go) Well, wait just a minute and I’ll call Kikay.

tony

(To himself as he sits down) Hah!

Mrs. m

(Turning again) Oh and Tony...

Tony

(Jumping up again) Yes, Aling... I mean, yes, Mrs. Mendoza?

mrs. m

You must not call Kikay “Kikay”

Tony

(Blankly) And what shall I call her?

mrs. m

You must call her Francesca.

tony

Francisca?

Mrs. m

Not Francisca... Fran-Ces-Ca.

tony

But why Francesca?

mrs. m

She says that in New York , she says that’s the way they pronounce he name, it sounds like “chi-chi” so Italian, be sure to call her Francesca and not Kikay. Oh, how she hates that name!

Tony

(Limply sitting down again) Yes, Mrs. Mendoza

mrs. m

(Turning to go again) Now, wait right here while I call Francesca…. (Someone’s knocking at the door. She turns around again.) AIE DIOSMIO!!!

tony

(Jumping up once again)Never mind Mrs. Mendoza, I’ll answer it. (He goes to open the door.)

mrs. m

(as she exits) Just tell them to wait, Tony.

Tony opens door and Totoy steps in. Totoy is the same age as Tony. Both boys do their secret handshake.)

Totoy

(Arms extending to hug Tony) Tony!

tony

Totoy! (Then they pund each other in the bellies)

Totoy

You old son of your father!

Tony

You big carabao!

Totoy

Mayroon ba tayo dyan?

Tony

You ask me that… and you look like a walking goldmine! How many depots have you been looting, huh!!??

Totoy

Hey hey!! More slowly there.. It is you the police are looking for.

Tony

Impossible! I’m a reformed character!

Totoy

(As, arms around each other’s shoulders, they march across the room.) Make way for the Tondo boys... Bang! Bang!

Tony

(Pushing Totoy away and producing a package of cigarettes) Good to see you old pal.. Here, have a smoke.

Totoy

I thought you were in Bulacan, partner.

Tony

I am. I just came to say hello to Kikay.

Totoy

Tony. I’ve been hearing the most frightful things about that girl.

tony

(Sinking into chair) So have I.

totoy

(Sitting down, too) People say she has gone crazy.

tony

No, she has only gone New York .

totoy

What was she doing in New York anyway?

tony

Oh, studying.

totoy

Studying what?

tony

Hair culture and Beauty Science. She got a diploma.

totoy

Imagine that! Our dear old Kikay!

tony

Pardon me, she's not Kikay anymore,.. She's Fran-CeS-ca..

totoy

Fran-CeS-ca??

tony

Miss Tondo has become Miss New York. Our dear Kikay is now an American.

(Knocking at door.) Totoy goes to open it. Enters Nena. Nena is a pretty young lady of 24)

nena

Why, it’s Totoy!

totoy

Nena, my own.

nena

(Brushing him aside as she walks into the room) And Tony, too.. What’s all this? A Canto Boy Reunion ?

tony

(following behind her) We have come to greet the Lady from New York .

nena

So have I. Is she at home?

tony

Aling Atang is trying to wake her up.

nena

To wake her up?! Is she still sleeping??

mrs. m

(Appearing) No, she’s awake already. She's dressing. Good morning Nena and Totoy. (Totoy and Nena are staring speechless. Mrs. Mendoza is carrying a vase in which she has arranged Tony’s flowers. She self-conciously walks into room and sets the vase on the table amidst a silence broken only by Totoy’s helpless whistle)

mrs. m

(Having set vase at the table) Well, Totoy? Nena? Why are you staring me like that?

nena

Is that you Aling Atang?

totoy

Naka! It is Aling Atang! (He collapses into chair)

Tony

To inform you, she now prefers to be called Mrs. Mendoza.

Mrs.M

Nena

Oh, Tony! It is not I but Kikay who prefers it. She was delighted with these flowers. Nena, If you don’t stop gazing at me like that I will pinch you hard!

When we were children you always used to do that to us...

Mrs. M

And I can do it yet, aba, kasi... you were always naughty when you were children, all of you... especially this one... (indicating totoy)... this botarete ... (totoy laughs)... Always going into our backyard to steal our mangoes.

Totoy

Is that Mango tree still there, aling Atang?

Mrs. M

Natural!

Totoy

Come on Nena, Let’s steal some Mangoes...

Mrs. M

Oy, oy no stealing of mangoes! Besides, if you do, I’ll chase you like I used to do... and I’ll take your pants off...

Oh, It is Just some orange juice. You see, Kikay ... I mean Fran-Ces-ca, always tell me that in New York they don’t eat breakfast they just drink Orange juice so... come on, Totoy.

Totoy

Arya, Kumara!

Nena

(Exits Mrs. Mendoza and Totoy ; Tony and Nena are silent for a moment.) Well, Tony?

Tony

You shouldn’t have come today, Nena

Nena

Oh, why not?

Tony

I haven’t talked with Kikay Yet.

Nena

You haven’t talked with Kikay Yet? But I thought you were coming here to tell her everything last night!

Tony

I lost my nerve, I didn’t come last night.

Nena

Oh tony, Tony!

Tony

(Irritated, Imitating her tone) Oh, Tony, tony ... use your head, Nena. Whoever heard of a man breaking off his engagement just like that! It’s not easy!

Nena

Are you inlove with Kikay or with me?

Tony

Of course I’m in love with you. I’m engaged to you.

Nena

Yes, and you’re engaged to Kikay too.

Tony

But that was a year ago.

Nena

Oh, you wolf!

Tony

Nena, Nena you know I love only you!

Nena

How could you have the nerve to propose to me when you were still engaged to

Kikay!

Tony

I wish I had never told you that. This is what I get for being honest.

Nena

Honest! You call yourself honest! Getting me to fall in love with you when you still belonged to Kikay!

Tony

I... I thought I didn’t belong to her anymore. It was only a secret engagement anyway.

Nena

Secret!

Tony

I proposed to her just before she left for America...

Nena

O...?

Tony

And she said we must keep our engagement a secret until she come back. But when she had been there a couple of months she stopped answering my letters...

Nena

Good...!

Tony

So I considered my self a freeman again.

Nena

That’s why you proposed to me?

Tony

No!... I mean... Yes.

Nena

And then asked me to keep our engagement a secret also!

Tony

Because right afterwards, I found out that Kikay was coming back.

Nena

Well, I’m tired of being secretly engaged to you; what fun is it being engaged if you cannot ... kuan ... tell everybody.

Tony

Just give me a chance to talk to Kikay and explain everything to her. Then you and I will announce our engagement.

Nena

Well, you’d better hurry. I’m getting impatient.

Tony

The trouble is, how can I talk to Kikay now?

Nena

Why not?

Tony

Well, you are here... and Totoy is here. You don’t expect me to talk about it infront of everybody, do you?

Nena

You want me and Totoy to leave?

Tony

No, just give me a chance to be alone with Kikay for a moment.

Nena

Okay, I’ll take care of Totoy.

Tony

That’s good.

Nena

You just leave it to me. But settle this now and forever ha? (Totoy enters with glasses on a tray)

Totoy

Puto kayo diyan... Bili na kayo ng puto...

(Mrs. Mendoza enters)

Mrs. M

Drink you orange juice and I’ll see if Kikay is ready. Listen, everybody... here comes Kikay... But remember she prefers to be called Fran-Ces-ca!

(Kikay Appears, garved in a trailing gown trimmed with fur at the neck and hemline. From one hand she dangles a large silk handkerchief which she keeps waving about as she walks and talks. In the other hand she carries a cigarette. Kikay’s manner and appearance are... to use a hollywood expression – “Chi-chi like mad.”)

Kikay

(Having paused a long moment in the doorway, hands uplifted in surprise and delight.)

Oh, hello, hello... you darling, darling people!

(She glides into the room. Everybody is too astonished to move.) Nena, My dear, but how cute you’ve become! (Kisses Nena) And Tony, dear boy, how are you... (gives her hand to Tony) And Totoy, why you look like a Tondo superproduction Totoy, how does one say in Tagalog—In Technicolor! Halika dito. But sit down everybody... Do sit down and let me look at you!

Oh, Mumsy, Mumsy!

Mrs. M

Oy, what’s the matter now?

Kikay

But how many times must I tell you, Mumsy dearest, never, never to serve fruit juice in water glasses!

Mrs. M

Tsk, tsk, never mind. Water glasses or beverage glasses all the same, pareho!

(With emotion checking her voice) Yes, I feel as if I were still there, as though I had never left it, as though I had lived there all my life. But I look around me... ( looks at guest )... and I realize that no, I’m not there... I’m not in New York ... I’m right here in Tondo...

Totoy

Anong Tan-Doe?

Nena

Tondo, buang!

Kikay

I’m home, they tell me. But this cannot be home, because my heart aches with homesickness. I feel like an exile. My spirit aches for its true home across the sea. Ah, New York, New York. My own dear New York. Listen! It’s springtime there now. Oh, we have a funny custom. When spring comes around each year, we new Yorkers, we make a sort of pilgrimage to an old tree growing down the Battery. Oh! We New Yorkers call it “Our Tree” – In a way, that tree is our own symbol for New York.

(She is silent for a moment. Her visitors glance uneasily at each other. Kikay laughs and makes an apologetic gesture.) But please forgive me! Here I am going sentimental and just mooning away over things you have no idea about. No, you can’t understand this emotion I feel for our own dear New York...

Nena

Oh, but I do understand perfectly. I feel that way too, about our tree.

Kikay

(Blankly) What tree?

Nena

Our mango tree, Kikay. Have you forgotten about it? Why you and I used to go climbing up there everyday and gorging ourselves on green mangoes. How our stomachs ached afterwards. And then these bad boys would come and start shaking the branches until we fell down. (laughs)

Totoy

(laughing) Aling Atang once caught me climbing that tree and she grabbed my pants... and off they came!

Tony

(Laughing) I was up there in that tree at that time and I laughed so hard I fell down!

Nena

(laughing) Yes, and Aling Atang chased you all around the yard with her broom, and when she caught you... bang! She got you on the head with the broom and how you screamed!

Totoy

But me, I could not come down the tree at all because I did not have my pants on! (laugh)

Nena

And Kikay and Me ... we were rolling on the ground, simply hysterical with laughter. And Totoy, you kept shouting: “Ang salawal ko! Ang salawal ko!”

(They are all shaking with laughter except Kikay who is staring blankly at all this.)

Kikay

But wait a minute, wait a minute... what is this tree you’re talking about?

Nena

Our mango tree, Kikay. The mango tree there in the backyard.

Kikay

(flatly) Oh, that tree.

Tony

What’s the matter Kikay, don’t you feel the same emotion for that tree as you do for the one in New York?

Kikay

(Tartly) Of Course Not!

Tony

Why not?

Kikay

They... they’re completely different! I don’t feel any emotion for this silly old mango tree... It doesn’t awaken any emotion for me at all!

Nena

Well, it does for me. And such happy, happy memories. I really must run out to the backyard to say hello to it. (Immitating Kikay’s tone and manner) You know, Kikay, over here in Tondo, we have a funny custom. We make a sort of pilgrimage to a silly old mango tree growing in the backyard. And for us, here in Tondo, that tree is our tree. In a way, It is a symbol...

Kikay

Don’t be silly, Nena.

Totoy

Anong sili?

Kikay

(In amused despair) Oh, you people can’t understand at all.

Tony

Probably, we’ve never been to New York.

Kikay

(Earnestly) Exactly! Our tree in New York, doesn’t stand for Kidstuff and childhood foolishness! It stands for a vivacious, more streamlined, a more daring way of life! In short, it stand for higher and finer things! Oh, how I miss the Manhattan skyline, the Coney Island in summer. The Madison Square Garden, the Bronx Zoo, The fifth avenue and for all the darling dens in Greenwich village. Oh, its impossible for you to see.

Tony

I still prefer a tree that grows in Tondo.

Totoy

And I second the motion.

Nena

So do I.

Kikay

(Tolerantly) Oh you funny, funny children.

Nena

(Kikay Manner) Well, I really must go and say hello to our tree. You don’t mind Kikay, do you?

Kikay

Of course not, child. Do go.

Nena

Totoy, will you come with me?

Totoy

To the ends of the earth!

Nena

(Kikay manner) No, darling ... just to our sear little backyard.

Totoy

(Acting up too) Oh, the backyards of Tondo, the barung-barong of Maypaho, the street of Sibukong ... !

Nena

Listen, idiot, are you coming with me or not?

Totoy

Anywhere, dream girl!

(Exit Nena and Totoy)

Kikay

Well! Apparently, our Totoy still has a... terrific crush on Nena. (pause) Do wake up Tony... what are you looking so miserable about?

Tony

(Gathering courage) Kikay ... I don’t know how to begin...

Kikay

Just call me Fran-Ces-Ca... that’s good beginning.

Tony

There is something I must tell you… something very important.

Kikay

Oh, Tony, can’t we just forget all about it?

Tony

Forget??

Kikay

That’s the New York way, Tony. Forget, nothing must ever too serious; nothing must drag on too long. Tonight, give all your heart, tomorrow, forget. And when you meet again, smile, shake hands… just good sports..

Tony

What are you talking about?

Kikay

Tony, I was only a child at that time.

Tony

When?

Kikay

When you and I got engaged. I’ve changed so much since then, Tony.

Tony

That was only a year ago.

Kikay

To me, it seems a century. So much had happened to me. More can happen to you in just one year in New York .

Tony

Listen, I don’t want to talk about New York … I want to talk about our engagement.

Kikay

And that’s what we cannot do Tony. Not anymore.

Tony

Why not?

Kikay

Tony, you got engaged to a girl named Kikay. Well, that girl doesn’t exist anymore. She's dead. The person you see before you is Francesca. Don’t you see, Tony, I’m a stranger to you. I hate to hurt you, but surely you see that there can be no more talk of an engagement between us. And as for marriage...(laughs) .... It would be a stark miscegenation. Imagine, a New Yorker, marrying a Tondo Boy!!! It's so insane!!

Tony

(Blazing) Now wait a minute...

Kikay

(Very Tolerantly) I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you Tony. But I wanted you to realize how ridiculous it could be to think that I could still be engaged to you.

Tony

I’m not going to stand here and be insulted!

Kikay

Hush, tony, Hush! Don’t shout! Don’t lose your temper... it’s so uncivilized. People in New York don’t lose their temper. Not people of the Haute made anyway.

Tony

What do you want me to do... smile and say thank you for insulting me?

Kikay

Yes, Tony, Be a Sport! Let’s smile and shake hands and just be friends. Be brave Tony... forget, the New york Way. Find another girl... any girl you’ll find find... someone more proper for you. More like a loser.

Tony

If you weren’t a woman I’d...I’d...!

(Totoy and nena Appear)

Totoy

Hold it, tony... You must never, never hit a woman!

Nena

What’s all this? Ano ba to?

Kikay

Nothing, nothing at all.

Totoy

What were you two quarelling about?

Kikay

We were not quarelling. Tony and I just decided to be good friends and nothing more.

Nena

Tony, is this true?

Tony

(shouting) Yes!

Nena

Oh good! Now we can tell them.

Kikay

Tell us what?

Totoy

What’s going on here anyway?

Nena

Tony and I are engaged.

Kikay and Totoy

Engaged?

Nena

Yes, we’ve been secretly engaged for a month.

Kikay

A month! (fiercely to Tony) why you... you!

Tony

I did try to tell you Kikay... I was trying to tell you...

Kikay

You... You... you double-crosses! Two timer loser!

Nena

Aba, careful there... your speaking to my fiance...

Kikay

He’s not your fiance!

Nena

Oh, no?... why not?

Kikay

Because he was still engaged to me when he got engaged to you!

Nena

Well, he's not engaged to you anymore, you just said it yourself.

Kikay

Ah, but I didn’t know about all this..

Tony

Now remember, Kikay… it's so uncivilized to lose one’s temper, People in New York don’t lose their temper.

Kikay

I’ve never felt so humiliated in all my life!! You beast, I’ll teach you!!

Nena

I told you to leave him alone! He’s my fiance!

Kikay

And I tell you he's not!! He's engaged to me until I release him… and I haven’t release him yet.

Nena

You ought to be ashamed of yourself... laos ka na!

Kikay

You ought to be ashamed of yourself... you’re... you... you steal my boyfriend!