one who has the eye for a full blown ethnic will have a pair of these. The individuals are commonly found outside footlocker or j-d sports sporting a tracksuit, cheap gold and a mouthful of fags. With different lenses, they are a common choice for the over 40s male girl scout leader who still lives with his mum and wears clothes unfit for a jumble sale.

'Even if we operate now and remove these brownie goggles, she willstill end up holidaying in Ayia Napa twice a year'