Rafa Benitez's Liverpool shambles: 10 random thoughts

21 October 2009 11:56

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THE DAILY BUNG'S LUNCHTIME HEADLINES
Nigel Clough is feeling incredibly insulted this morning after Gareth Southgate was sacked following Middlesbroughs' 2-0 VICTORY over Derby last night. Are the Rams really that bad?
Jose Mourinho is on borrowed time at Inter Milan after their eighth European game without a win. Pity there isn't a big English vacancy for him to step into. Well, not until Monday anyway.
And David Moyes says the majority of Everton's Carling Cup team won't be old enough to consume the sponsor's product because of the competition's stupid scheduling. Read more here.
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SO THAT'S WHY THEY TAKE TOYS TO THE GAME THESE DAYS
What a bizarre night! Rubin Kazan (who I'm sure used to play point guard for the Chicago Bulls) beat Barcelona. Scunthorpe beat Newcastle. Steve Gibson sacked a manager. And, most mentally of all, Liverpool almost nicked a point against Lyon! What the hell is going on!!
Echoing this spirit of mischief and revolution, The Bung will today dispense with its the predictable format and offer up 10 random thoughts on the shambles that is Liverpool's season.
1. Alberto Aquilani is like having a 'Z' in Scrabble. You wait forever for your chance to cash in, by which point everyone else is miles ahead.
2. Given the entertainment on offer, you can see why Liverpool fans now take toys to games.
3. David Ngog is not fit to wear the shirt. Or, in fact, sell the shirt in the club shop.
4. Rafa Benitez plans all subs in advance of kick-off, rather than analysing and utilising his bench options to change its course. Why else would he take off Yossi Benayoun?
5. Steven Gerrard pulls his groin so often because his team-mates aren't good enough to pass the bloody thing to his feet.
6. Andriy Voronin's one meaningful role is to make Lucas' hairstyle look less awful.
7. That gives Voronin one meaningful role more than Ryan Babel.
8. Replacing Alvaro Arbeloa with Glen Johnson has ruined Liverpool's defence.
9. Neither Tom Hicks nor George Gillett is powerful enough to sack Benitez.
10. Liverpool will definitely beat Manchester United on Sunday.