She Comes First Book Excerpt

In this excerpt from She Comes First, author Ian Kerner stresses the importance of the first few touches when it comes to pleasing your lady, and how a good "first impression" will dictate how the rest of the oral sex session goes.

The approach

Never underestimate the power of first impressions, especially the impression of your lips against her vulva. This first kiss atop a woman's vulva is often the most exquisite of all possible kisses and can literally take her breath away.

Approach the first kiss as an event, as though tasting the first sip of an expensive bottle of wine that you've been saving for that special occasion. Don't just pop off the cork and start swigging: Let it breathe, sniff and savor the bouquet, admire the body, note the complexion and tone, and then, finally, take that much-anticipated first sip. Allow yourself to appreciate the full experience.

Run your fingers gently through her pubic hair.

Be sure to tease her amply. Kiss her softly on the inner thigh, as well as the smooth skin adjoining her vulva. Kiss her with little, succulent smacks (lips pursed, no tongue) on her inner and outer lips, or even on the top of the head. Make sure that your first kiss is less about direct contact with the clitoris and more about appreciating the entire genital area.

Breathe hotly on her vulva.

Blow, ever so gently, on her clitoral head.

If she's still wearing her panties, kiss her through them. Then delicately peel them to the side to reveal the glistening wet vulva.

Caution: Never, under any circumstances, blow into a woman's vagina as though trying to fill it with air. Doing so is seriously dangerous. Blowing into a woman's vagina may cause an embolism and lead to death. Breathe on her; blow lightly on her; never blow into her.

The moment before

Before you move in for the first kiss, take a moment to acknowledge the presence of the vulva: your partner in pleasure. Prepare yourself mentally for the experience ahead. Remind yourself that you are there to lead her steadfastly through the process of sexual response to orgasm.