The Osbournes "Home Alone 2" episode 19 recap

The Osbournes – Episode 19

We start off this week with Jack getting ready for his trip to the family estate in England, and he’s bringing adopted son Rob with him. He’s in his room packing the last few things, and Sharon notices a box of condoms. “What’s this”, she asks, and Jack replies that he doesn’t use them and secretly has 11 kids. That’s a scary thought. Jack then pulls out a breathalyzer and tests Ozzy. He passes with a 0.1. Sharon says that he should leave that with her, and Oz counters “no f***ing way, get that f***ing thing out of here, I’ll get busted every f***ing day”. Ozzy tells them not to do anything stupid.

They load up the truck, and Rob says that he forgot his sunglasses. “Dude, we’re going to England, there ain’t no sun in England” Jack informs him. Assistant Tony gets a chuckle out of that as well, adding “all you’ll see is rain, snow, frost”. Jack’s beloved Lola has jumped in the truck, but he tells her that she can’t go with them. He takes her out, and sad music plays in the background as she wanders off.

Kelly is also leaving, sadly it’s not for good. She has a 3 week tour planned. Sharon asks Oz if they are going with her, but Kel wants her to stay home and rest. Kelly also has a breathalyzer, and tests her father. WTF is with these kids? He comes close to failing this one with a 0.5.
Kelly: You’re drunk
Ozzy: Am I?
Kelly: Yes
Ozzy: I hope so
Sharon: What number is it?
Kelly: .5 and .6 is red
Ozzy: I’ve been busted by my own kid man
They see Kelly off, “come on Sharon, let the young one fly” Oz says. Sharon is still waving and saying goodbye. “Come on Sharon…come on Sharon” and she still stands there. “Farewell my loved one, be gone…come on Sharon” he says and she finally leaves as the van takes off.

Ozzy and personal trainer Pete ride around as Oz discusses his love of carrot cake. “I f***ing love it” he announces. Pete says that it’s his favorite also, and Oz says again “I f***ing love it, I could kill for it”. Pete tells him that it’s not “Pete approved” though, and he should save it for his day off.

Jack and Rob arrive in England, and we get some great shots of the scenery. They ride by Buckinghamshire Best Kept Village, The Merlin Cave, and The White Hart. I have no idea what these things are. They make it to the Osbourne estate, a beautiful sprawling place, and are met by what Jack calls the real dogs – a German Sheppard named Sunny, and what looks like a Boxer named Sugar.

Back in America, Lola still seems bummed out. She lays on the grass, with more sad violin music in the background, as Ozzy tries to play with her. He tosses a ball, but she doesn’t move. “Go on, fetch it” he instructs, but she continues to lay there. “You got to go that way… either you’re going to bring it in through your ass, or you’ve got to turn around and run for the ball like normal dogs do”. She’s not having any part of it though, and Oz walks away dejected.

Jack gives Rob a tour of the other house, and reveals his western themed bedroom. “How f***ing cool is this” he asks, and Rob replies “Uh, I don’t know about that”. They continue through the house, and we see Sharon and Ozzy’s bedroom, their separate dressing rooms and bathrooms, the parents’ wing of the house, and Ozzy’s special room with all of his original gold and platinum records covering the walls. What a beautiful place. Damn, again I wish my dad was a rock star. The boys head outside, and Jack tells Rob that they own all of the land as far as far as they can see. “I wish Lola could see this” he says as we get shots of Lola lying around looking sad.

Back inside, Jack call a few of his friends and invites them over. He talks to Sharon, and he tells her to take care of Lola and to let her sleep with them. Before they hang up, Sharon instructs him not to ride the bikes drunk, and to not play with the guns. The friends arrive and fill the fridge with beer, and then they all go off to play with the guns and ride the ATVs. Well, so much for that Sharon.

Ozzy has found an old synthesizer that he had in storage that he used when he was with Black Sabbath. It even has one of the tour stickers from 1973. He says that he hasn’t used it in almost 30 years, and forgets how to work it. “It’s like another dimension” he says as it finally starts to make weird noises. “I’m like the nutty professor” he shouts as he continues playing. He then goes off to get more carrot cake.

More shots of a sad Lola are mixed with more shots of Oz eating carrot cake as Jack comes back from England. He says hello and heads straight to Lola, who is excited to see him, and now we have the happy music playing. Aww, how sweet.

Oz and Pete sit on the couch watching a cooking show about what else…carrot cake. They watch intently, “that’s f***ing great” Oz claims, “it’s amazing”, as the puzzled kitchen staff looks on. When the cake is finished, Oz and Pete smile like children and applaud.

Next week: The season finale with a sleep-walking Jack, and more drama from Kelly as apparently her boyfriend Bert has proposed.