I am a Tombstone Tourist: someone who loves to wander cemeteries. I find it akin to visiting a museum: an opportunity to enjoy rarely seen sculpture, intricate carvings, and amazing architecture, all in a tranquil outdoor setting. This blog is about cemetery culture, art, history, issues of death, and genealogy - subjects of current relevance. I usually find something that intrigues me and makes me want to dig deeper. Care to join me? Read on...

Friday, July 20, 2012

Skeletons in the Family Closet

Sunset

Tonight
at 8 o’clock will mark the 125th anniversary of the evening my great
– great – great - great grandfather, Peter Burkhart killed his wife of 43 years
and then turned the gun on himself.The reason given for the murder – suicide?The newspaper called it a moment of insanity, a crime of
passion.

I've Got a Secret...

If
you’ve been involved in genealogy for very long, you’ve probably uncovered a
family secret or two.With the
continuing popularity of the hobby, some sociologists are warning that if you
dig too deep, you may get more than you bargained for.

Family Secrets

Family
secrets can run the gamut from the relatively tame taboos (in today’s world) of
cousins marrying cousins, illegitimate children, interracial or interfaith
marriages, to criminals, bigamy, mental illness, even into the darker depths of
incest, suicide or murder.

We
all begin our genealogy journey wanting to discover who our people were,
(especially in relation to who we are,) but when we discover a family secret,
we need to be prepared handle the information.

It’s
important to remember that every family has a story – some of it good, some
not.And there are skeletons in every family’s closet.Think about what you will do when you open Pandora’s
Box.What to do will depend on
several factors, the most important - Who will it affect NOW?

Most
genealogists abide by the standard rule - do not publish anything
about a living person. If someone is still alive that the secret involves
directly, or who will be devastated by it, it’s best to keep the status quo,
for now.That does not mean that
you are altering your family story or rewriting history. It simply means that
you have decided to respect someone’s right to privacy.But, that also does not mean hiding it
forever.

Family
secrets and skeletons in the closet are not the same as information that you
just were not aware of before.Secrets are kept hidden, on purpose.They are an attempt to withhold information about an event
or person because family feels shame and/or fears what others will think.

Peter
Burkhart

Farming in the 1800's

According
to the biographical sketch in the History of Pike County, Indiana, my ancestor, Peter Burkhart was a model citizen.He had the reputation of being “the greatest hunter and
of always keeping the largest number and best bred hounds of any man in the
county…. He succeeded well as a farmer.”

The
book went on to describe his family - “Elizabeth Snyder became his wife
April 1, 1844. They became the parents of nine children, eight of whom are
married and living within three miles of their father.They all have families but none of
their children have died.The
family history presents remarkable instances of longevity.”

The
sketch refers to Peter as having “always been a Democrat in politics and
served as township trustee six terms…. He has been one of the most successful
office holders and prominent pioneer citizens in the county.”

Summer Wheat

Pike County, Indiana

Everything
in the biography fits with what I know – My family was a pioneer family in
Indiana, settling in Pike County near the town of Petersburg because the land
was rich and farmable.Raising
dogs for work and companionship goes back through the generations. Longevity
has always been a strong suit – with some members making it just short of 100.Even the prominence of leadership
qualities has followed through.

But
newspaper headline that read “Died By Own Hand – Peter Burkhart Kills
His Aged and Faithful Wife and Then Kills Himself” suddenly
presented me with information that had not been discussed in the family.A story I want to know more about.

A Pike County Homestead

The
Pike County Democrat newspaper
declared this “The most startling case of _____ and suicide which has ever
taken place in Pike County.Peter
Burkhart shot his wife, Elizabeth with a shotgun.She ran out on the porch, followed by Burkhart. He placed her on a chair where she soon
died.He then took the same gun
and emptied a load into his own body.”

The
newspaper goes on to report, “It seems however, that without cause he had
become jealous of his wife and crazed of the ‘green-eyed monster,’ committed
the awful crime which human conscience refuses to commute.Mr. Burkhart left a piece of writing in
which he accuses his aged and faithful wife of marriage infidelity.This must have been the result of a
crazed brain from some accountable cause….”

Peter and Elizabeth Burkhart

Close Up of Their Stone

I
know the family had many reasons for letting this family secret pass quickly
and quietly into history.But unfortunately, with all of the
main family gone, even my grandparents, who would have known parts of the real
story, I must now figure out a way to contact cousins to find out more.And even in this day and age some will
want to ‘protect the family secret’ of a murder – suicide that happened well
over 100 years ago.

Family Tree

Gathering Storm

But
this is what genealogy is all about, researching and discovering facts about
your ancestors. That includes the hardships and decisions they made, what
circumstances they endured that made them who they were.I don’t know the end story of Peter
Burkhart or why he decided to act as he did that fateful July night in 1887,
but I intend to find out all that I can to help me understand it. And who knows what other family secrets I may uncover...

Key in Lock

Remember
that if we continue to keep those family secrets, key components of family
history will never get fully revealed or stand a chance of being explained.That could leave us with a large gap in
the understanding of who our ancestors were, and the real information that
could help us make sense of them could end up lost forever.

As
George Bernard Shaw said, “If you cannot get rid of the
family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.”

About Me

I
love wine and will take any chance to sip, savor and share it! Hence, Joy’s JOY
of Wine http://joysjoyofwine.blogspot.com,
a weekly blog about all things wine. I've been in the industry for 15
years as a winery owner, marketing director, speaker, writer, wine judge, and
100% vino girl!

I'm
also a professional freelance magazine and book writer uncorking articles about
wine, food, history, travel, cemetery history and culture. My interest in
cemetery culture led to another great, or maybe I should say
"grave" gig, my weekly blog: A Grave Interest http://agraveinterest.blogspot.com where I get to travel around the country and speak about cemetery topics for genealogy, history and
education conferences.

I suppose you could say that wine is my
passion, and cemeteries are my diversion ... into another world.

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