This Is How Arguments Start

People ask me if Gina and I have argued yet, and I’m proud to say we actually have. Thus far, they haven’t been over anything deep, but of course, they have been caused because one of us or both of us were being petty. Below is an example of what I’m talking about. This actually happened and I’ve rehashed it as accurately as I can remember.

BACKGROUND

Like most New Yorkers, Gina and I travel around the big city mostly by public transportation, but every couple of weeks, she travels out to her parents place in New Jersey to pick up her old car and use it for a week. Save for an easier trip for a grocery store binge, going on day trips out of the city, and moving large items from one place to another, the convenience of a car is minimal. As much as I love to drive, doing so in New York City is a hassle not worth the time or the energy, which kind of doesn’t matter in this instance because I can’t drive Gina’s car anyway. She uses a stick shift and I only know how to handle an automatic.

But that is not where the inconvenience lies. The biggest frustration with driving in New York City is a bitch named parking.

In New York City, the more residential neighborhoods have alternate side street parking. On Monday and Thursday and Tuesday and Friday, you must move your car and park on the alternate side of the street generally before 8 AM until 11 AM (Wednesdays and the weekends are exempt in most areas). This means finding parking the night before or in the hours before the alternate side rule takes effect is like trying to find a spot in a mall parking lot the day after Thanksgiving. Imagine feeling that anxiety and frustration four days out of the week.

Now try to picture two people in this situation trying to get along.

OUTSIDE MY APARTMENT

Gina is waiting for me to come downstairs so we can move her car. I figure she’d appreciate my company and my extra set of eyes. It’s also late and I don’t want her having to walk through my neighborhood from wherever she parks by herself.

GINAI’m downstairs.

MEComing down.

We exchange pleasantries, a kiss, a hug, questions about each others day as we walk to the car. We always get along well. We get in her car and buckle in. Gina pulls out of her spot.

MEWait, why are we moving your car tonight if we don’t have to move it tomorrow?

GINA
I told you, because we’re going out tomorrow night,
and I don’t want to move it when we get home,
so I’d rather find a spot I can stay in until Friday.

MEOh, okay. That makes sense, I guess.

GINA
It makes perfect sense.

ME
And why are we trying to park it up here
and not by your place?

GINA
Because I packed for two days at your place
so I didn’t need to go home.

ME
Oh yeah, okay.
Hey, you think you can
park right over there?

Points to an area near a fire hydrant that may or may not be far enough to avoid a ticket

GINA
I don’t want to risk it.

ME
Okay. Make this left.

She makes the left.

GINA
What side is Friday here, North or South?
Oh, North, okay. Look for a spot on this side.

ME
Got it. So today, I was…

GINA
Is that a spot?

ME
Nope, that’s a hydrant too.
So, anyway, about today…

GINAWait, can we park here in this area?

ME
Yeah, you can park here.

GINAIs that what the sign says?

ME
I don’t know, but I see cars here
and this is my neighborhood I see
cars park here all the time.

GINAWhat does the sign say?

ME
I just told you, I…

Gina glances to her left as she slows down

GINA
Okay, we can park here.

MEAmazing.

GINA
What? I wanted to know
what days were in effect.

ME
It’s cool.

GINA
Wait, is that person pulling out?

Gina passes the car as it turns on its headlights.

GINA
It is. Should I wait here?

ME
No, traffic is coming. Go
around the block, they
haven’t pulled out yet and
we can catch it.