My grandma is in hospice care at home. She's end stage. She's been asleep for the past 2 days. Before this up for more than 24hrs just making noises. Now not responding to touch, sound, etc. I know she's close to the end? How long does this process last?Is she suffering? My heart is breaking.

6 Answers

Dear Prevention this is the hardest time for any caregiver. You want your loved one to pass quickly and peacefully but you so don't want to loose them.Please follow all the advise given above. keep up the nursing care and make sure she is clean and dry. Change her position regularily. you may notive ares of deep blue discoloration especaily on hands, feet and reound mouth. also on the part she is putting most weight on. This is all totally notmal. she may also develope what are called terminal secretions where she has excess fluid in her lungs which may drain from her noes or mouth. this often happens and is frightening to the caregiver and sounds very frightening but the loved one is usually not aware. you can sometimes reduce this by turning from side to side. Just put a towel under her head and keep her face wiped clean. Ask the nurse for the foam mouth swabs and offer water on that. she may suck and swallow or ignore. Don't try and suction secretions this just irritates the throat. grandma is passing peacefully in the best possible wway. Don't hesitate to call your hospice nurse with any questions or if you just feel frightened and alone that is what they are there for. if you want a chaplain to visit hospice can arrange that before or after death. Blessings

If you could take her BP or O2 saturation you would see it falling gently. You can still talk to her, hold her hand, sing to her. She will pass peacefully as long as you keep up the Morphine and Haldol and let her know you are with her. Give her permission to go, tell her to go to someone who waits for her. She may be gone by morning.

Check the UTI thing we've seen this in many of the previous posts. Also I'm the advocate for a thyroid panel, but at this stage, it's probably too late even if it was the thyroid. Will hospice administer medication or is it just a "keep them comfortable until the end" thing? I know that they won't do life support etc. but ask your hospice nurse.

My heart goes out to you prevention...I wish I knew what to say to help, but I also spoke with my hospice nurse not so long ago regarding pain, discomfort and so forth in this process and she told me, just as jeanne mentions above, if you suspect suffering re any moaning, grimacing, etc. they can provide something for that, and otherwise, it is, for those passing, a very peaceful passing ...I have to admit I am always fearful of perhaps my loved one not being able to breathe as I have a fear of that as well, but she assured me that is not the case and that is something I need not fear for them or for my own information. I so agree with jeanne....the trouble with having a heart is that they break...and what a blessing to have someone in your life whose loss is so heartbreaking....I think many people look a lifetime for someone to love and be loved that much...I do know it hurts, I remember watching my Daddy pass, but when there is nothing more that can be done on this earth, I try to remember that God sends special angels to gently carry them home, and He will also send angels to surround you all with love and comfort. I know it does not seem like it right now, I know I did not think so back then, but God will carry you through...hugs and prayers of comfort for you and your precious Grandma.

Prevention, on of the huge benefits of hospice care is having someone to talk to about these things. I urge you bring this up with the nurse and/or social worker and/or perhaps the chaplain. These people have all gone through this experience many times and give your specific answers and comfort.

She is close to the end. If she doesn't appear to be suffering she probably isn't. If you suspect she is suffering (moaning, grimacing, etc.) call the hospice number.

As the Tin Man found out, the trouble with having a heart is that they do break. It is a true blessing to have someone in your life whose loss is heartbreaking. You will heal in time, and your heart will probably be broken again. It is wonderful to have people you love that much. Warm hugs to you in this time of grief.

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