A young wife with the strongest desire to become a mom… and a wait that seems unending.

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Clomid’s Eve

Well, here we are. As I sit here tonight to write this post I have so many emotions flowing through me. These past few months have contained so much joy and sadness. To be honest, a lot of the time the lines between them start to blur- becoming what I know as bittersweet. Yesterday was one of those days.

It was less than a week ago that I finally got a blaring positive opk. For those of you who recall, last time this happened was in October (our BFP cycle). My heart leapt- I just knew this was it! We decided that this would be our last natural cycle before we pursue treatment and we were so hopeful, knowing a provera-induced cycle has been shown to make me ovulate. Everything was lining up, until yesterday morning that is.

At 4/5dpo I started spotting. The hopeful part of me was thinking… Oh, implantation!! But the rest of me knew something wasn’t right, especially given how early it was happening. I called my nurse, who asked me if it was CD1 or not. Clearly I was calling to get that answer from her, but there really wasn’t much they could do unless I waited a few days or declared it a new cycle myself. Normally this wouldn’t be an issue… But timing is everything if you’re going into a medicated cycle. So as the afternoon went on and the spotting picked up even more, I called it in. My nurse promptly made me an appointment for Sunday morning and we got the ball rolling so I could start clomid this month.

As frustrating as it was that my two week wait ended so abruptly and with so much confusion, I am at peace. I have no idea what happened this past cycle or why it only lasted 23 days, but we are hopeful for what’s to come! Tomorrow I will go in for my cd3 ultrasound and will hopefully be given the all clear to get my prescriptions. If you’re wondering what the plan for this cycle is, check it out HERE. Everything should be the same, but I’m sure I’ll get more information tomorrow and will come back to update.

A few months ago I bought these two picture frames. I really had no idea what I wanted to put in them so I left them empty, but I keep them on our mantel as good reminders. The past couple days I have walked by them I keep picturing our first ultrasound photos going in them, and my heart is so happy. Oh, how excited I am for that day!

Just because the road you are on takes an unexpected turn doesn’t mean the drive has to be over. So here we go.. believing our dream, our miracle, is coming soon!