I’m one of those people who can latch on to subtle differences in word meanings.

You will often find me in the midst of a conversation that includes someone saying, “Isn’t this just a matter of semantics?” And, they’re usually correct.

Most semantic disagreements are minor and not worth the effort – however, I want to use this message to focus on one such distinction that is guaranteed to create some valuable dialog around your house, organization, or any place you hang your hat.

One of the hottest books of the past decade was written by Rhonda Byrne from Australia.

She titled her book, “The Secret” – a decision that I believe had a lot to do with its success.

It’s a self-help book with some rather unusual suggestions.

Want to lose weight? Don’t heed your doctor’s advice by changing your eating and exercise habits, rather follow Byrne’s suggestion that you “avoid looking at people who are overweight.” [I’m not kidding.]

In a world saturated with advice and how-to books, why did “The Secret” drawn so much attention?

“It was an incredibly savvy move to call it ‘The Secret.’

Why? We all want to be in on a secret.

But to present it as THE secret, that was brilliant.” [Newsweek – March 5, 2007]

Did you catch the subtle and critical difference?

Byrne’s book doesn’t promise to be ONE of a number of secrets?

It doesn’t promise to share a dozen secrets – she claims to have the THE secret.

THE BIG REVEAL

Lest you think I have finally stepped off the curb into oncoming traffic…allow me to explain what on earth this has to do with YOU.

I’d like you to ask yourself a few questions:

1. Do I want to be A consultant who helps people brainstorm, or THE consultant who helps companies do things differently?

2. Do you want to have A shoe store? Or, would you rather be THE shoe store that caters to busy working moms?

3. Which airline would you prefer to fly? One of many who travel to New York, or THE airline with the most on-time departures?

4. Do you want to be A personal trainer, or THE personal trainer that builds champion marathoners and triathletes?

5. Do you want to be A chiropractor who adjusts people’s spine, or THE chiropractor who helps people to live a long healthy life?

6. Would you prefer to be A salesperson, or THE rainmaker of your industry who is the most connected and highly paid expert?

Do I want to create A goal setting program, or THE most powerful and comprehensive program for driving 10 years worth of results in just 100 days?

And when I wrote Everything Counts, the question was: Do I want to write A leadership book, or THE definitive book on leadership excellence that delivers a transformational message appropriate for anyone, anywhere?

There is tremendous value, in consideration of the difference between THE and A.

To borrow from Dr. Seuss…”Why fit in, when you were born to stand out?”

WHERE THE RUBBER MEETS THE ROAD

Sometimes you are defined by the products you offer – We are THE computer that runs the Mac operating system.

Sometimes your definition comes from the market you serve – We are THE exercise club that caters to busy moms by providing free child care while they work out.

Bottom line – if you can’t come up with a credible THE for your position or organization, you should probably close up shop before someone else does it for you.

It isn’t necessary to have a singular focus – the workout club with a child care area for busy moms, can attract other clients but they are THE place a busy mom can go.

Having a multi-focused perspective is a necessary paradox in today’s environment, but what you can’t afford to go without is something that sets you apart from all the others who do what you do.

Standing apart from the crowd…positioning yourself as THE go to guy or gal… is one of the many important lessons you’ll learn from…

“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make a difference that you have lived and lived well.”– Ralph Waldo Emerson

We are living links in a chain of wisdom, handed down through history. One axiom developed in that chain is to…BE USEFUL.

Our sense of worth and usefulness is tied to our self-esteem…and to esteem something means to elevate it.

So how do we elevate our own worth and usefulness? How do we esteem ourselves?

Think of the items you value either for their aesthetic or functional quality.

A nonfunctioning grandfather clock is still valued because it is a beautiful piece of furniture. A nonfunctioning can opener is discarded because it is worthless.

Our value in life depends on our FUNCTION. But just what is that function?

The answer is quite simple.

When one begins to purposefully elevate others by performing acts of kindness, the spirit changes and soon doing good deeds becomes a focal point for our life; doing good begins to be the same as feeling good.

The periods of emptiness when we search for the “meaning of it all” begin to fill with acts of kindness and usefulness.

Most of us ask ourselves questions of purpose that go beyond the routines of our daily lives. The obvious answer is to be kind to one another, to help someone in need, to perform good deeds…in short, TO BE USEFUL.

Neither wealth, fame, prestige, nor anything external can give us more than a fleeting sense of satisfaction. The only true lasting happiness is within ourselves. Unfortunately, this is too often the last place any of us look.

The place to improve the world is first in one’s own heart and hands and then work outward from there. If we improve ourselves by BEING USEFUL to others, we live our lives in the best way possible.

Good deeds really do have the power to change us. We should never consider any act that changes us as futile. No good, useful deed we have done can be taken from us. Good deeds have magical attributes which can turn sadness to singing and despair to joy.

Just one small selfless act benefits and elevates both the giver and the receiver. In this high-tech, fast changing world what is needed and what is lasting is HIGH-TOUCH PEOPLE and relationships.

CALL TO ACTION

I want you to wrap your mind around the idea that your duty and primary responsibility in life is to be useful….to elevate all, big or small.

Aspire to be useful. Think of ways that you can elevate your performance and usefulness as a mother, father, husband, wife, employee, salesperson or entrepreneur.

Identify every role you play in life and actively work to be more useful…to elevate everyone you come in contact with.

Be useful and elevate with words of encouragement. Be useful and elevate by asking bigger, bolder, and better questions. Be useful and elevate by setting an example that inspires. Be useful and elevate every life experience for yourself and others.

When you wake up in the morning, when you walk into a room, when you attend a meeting…set an intention to be useful and elevating.

There’s a very popular book series that has enjoyed a long life on the best seller list titled, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff.

It offers a philosophy that is immensely popular, but highly flawed as it panders to the majority by telling them what they want to hear rather than what they need to do.

As pragmatic advice on how to run a business and live a life of excellence, it’s a big steaming pile of nonsense. This is bad advice, and it spells trouble in the current economy.

All the power and leverage is with the customer and they will exercise their power by leaving one business in favor of another over very small things, things that could have easily been avoided by simply using common sense and paying attention to the small stuff.

Every business is severely and adversely affected by poor customer retention. If a customer abandons one restaurant or coffee shop for another it’s most likely NOT because of the food or coffee, but due to dissatisfaction over a small detail like;

Having to hunt down a waiter for more coffee or the check

Not receiving a genuine welcome or prompt greeting

Too long on hold when making reservations

Table conversation constantly interrupted

Gum or debris on the ground

Too long a wait for service

An unclean fork or glass

Apathetic personnel

A filthy bathroom

No eye contact

The cost of losing a customer is multiplied in tough times simply because there is a smaller pool of replacements and much more intense competition for them.

Do NOT be fooled by mainstream news; businesses are not suddenly upside down thanks only to a credit crunch or drop in customer spending; there’s much more to their suddenly revealed weaknesses than that. They have gone on too long not sweating the small stuff, and now they are suffering consumer’s revenge.

If you have any interest in being competitive than start sweating the small stuff because every little thing does count.

]]>The Difference Between Gold and Silverhttp://www.everythingcounts.com/the-difference-between-gold-and-silver/
Sun, 21 Aug 2016 13:36:19 +0000http://www.everythingcounts.com/?p=589As the Rio Olympics are coming to a close this evening, I am reminded of a 60 Minutes interview with Olympic Champion Michael Phelps. During the interview, the host Anderson Cooper showed pictures of Phelps winning the 100-meter butterfly final at the Water Cube in Beijing by ONE-HUNDREDTH of a second over Serbia’s Milorad Cavic.

Phelps admitted that his winning margin of one-hundredth of a second was almost impossible to see but it was because of ONE small difference, on the final stroke Cavic lifted his head up just slightly which acted as a mini speed bump and I kept my head down streamlined. Small stuff matters a lot!

It’s important to keep in mind that high achievers in every vocation turn over all stones, understanding and exploiting to their benefit the fact that the critical difference between merely acceptable versus excellent results lies in the smallest of details.

]]>How a Password Can Change Your Life!http://www.everythingcounts.com/how-a-password-can-change-your-life/
Mon, 24 Nov 2014 05:22:30 +0000http://www.everythingcounts.com/?p=5590WHAT DO YOU SAY that we make this a message that will change your life!

I hope that sounds appealing, as you’re about to learn…how you can use something as simple and mundane as your password to fast track ANY goal you desire.

But first, let’s talk about your underwear.

The saying goes something like this:

Passwords are like underwear…you should change them often.
Passwords are like underwear…you should not loan them out to strangers.
Passwords are like underwear…you should make them unique and mysterious.
Passwords are like underwear…you should not leave them lying around for others to see.

Our common reality is that we all live in a password-driven world, one where a few simple characters unlock access to our data, allow us to communicate with friends, enable us to make online purchases…and so much more.

YOUR PASSWORD PARADIGM

Yes, I understand why passwords are universally despised: the strains they put on our memory, the endless demand to update them, their sheer number. I dislike them, too. But there is more to passwords than their annoyance.

I had come to believe that these tiny personalized codes get a bum rap, and in this message, I want to transfer that belief and show you how to imbue them with your hopes and dreams, your most important goals and fondest aspirations.

Why?

Because, once you change your belief and perspective, and begin utilizing your passwords with a purpose beyond security and privacy, you’ll quickly see how this simple act can have such a profound impact on your life as they unlock much more than your accounts.

UNLEASHING THE POWER OF A PASSWORD

Your mind while blessed with permanent memory is cursed with lousy recall. Written goals are catalysts; they serve as transforming agents for success and achievement.

That is precisely why I urge you to write them down at the beginning of each day, and leveraging your password in the achievement of those goals is one of the savviest moves you can make.

Over the years, a practice I’ve found effective, is to routinely change my email password, and when possible to also change my user name to something that’s indicative of my most important goal(s) at that point in time.

Let’s focus on you…and how you can put this idea to use.

For example, let’s say you goal is to lose 20 pounds. Then your user name can be written as an affirmation like Iwilllose and your password can include the amount as well as the deadline such as 20poundsX520

Another example of a goal might be paying off $35,000 in debt. In that case, your user name could be Icommitto and your password could be 35kX830

Let’s have one more look at this from a sales perspective. If you’re goal is to finish the year strong and secure a $25,000 bonus, then your user name could be FinishStrong and your password should include the amount as well as the deadline, like this: 25kbonus1231

This simple act of repetition and reinforcement will take place several times throughout each day.

By utilizing this strategy, you will have created a positive intervention between you and your goals which means you are consciously maintaining focus on and reinforcing your commitment to this particular goal.

In your mind, you’ll quickly embrace the mantra that I didn’t type a password…I was reminding myself to actively work on my goal.

ALSO, when you apply this idea to everything that requires a user name and password, regularly affirming your goals shifts from a mundane chore to an ACT OF NECESSITY.

I’ll admit, I’m fascinated by the idea that you can take an externally imposed, non-natural requirement, in this case….memorizing a password, and turning it into a meaningful, uplifting human experience.

I encourage you to use this idea immediately, and assure you that you’ll be highly goal focused and you’ll also have a profound sense of urgency towards the achievement of those goals.

Everything Counts!

Gary Ryan Blair

P.S. Learning to leverage your password to fast track your goals is just one of the many exciting ideas and strategies you’ll learn in the 100 Day Challenge.

]]>Now or Laterhttp://www.everythingcounts.com/now-or-later/
Tue, 04 Nov 2014 16:18:38 +0000http://www.everythingcounts.com/?p=2982Between 1968 and 1974, Walter Mischel conducted a series of studies on what makes it hard or easy for children to delay gratification and enforce self-discipline.

He started his longitudinal study by offering a group of 4-year-olds one marshmallow, but told them that if they could wait for him to return after running an errand, they could have two marshmallows.

The “errand” took about fifteen minutes. The theory was that those children who could wait would demonstrate that they had the ability to delay gratification and control impulse.

Mischel varied the rewards and experimented with keeping them visible or hidden. He found that hiding them made it easier to wait, as did offering the children suggestions for how to distract themselves. The results deepened our understanding of the nature of willpower.

Moreover, by showing how thinking can change the manifestation of personality (in this case impulsivity); Mischel’s experiments supported his “social-cognitive” approach to personality.

This challenged Freud’s classic psychoanalytical approach, which saw personality as rooted in instinctual drives and wishes.

In follow-up studies, Mischel found that children better able to develop strategies for delaying gratification spontaneously at ages 4 and 5 became more educationally successful and emotionally intelligent.

“These delay abilities seem to be a protective buffer against the development of all kinds of vulnerabilities later in life,” he concluded.

Before we continue, I’d like you to consider 3 questions:

1. How important is a child’s ability to delay immediate gratification?

2. Is self-discipline a predictor of a child’s success later in life?

3. Can a child who does not know how to delay immediate gratification be taught this skill?

Ok. Let’s take a moment and think about the child in our lives before I give you the results of the study. Close your eyes, visualize your child, grandchild, niece or nephew in The Marshmallow Study room chair. Is she eating? Is he waiting?

We all know exactly what our children will do – or do we?

Fast forward fourteen years to 1988, when the children in the experiment graduated from high school, the Marshmallow Study revealed startling differences between the two groups:

The children who exercised self-discipline and waited for the two marshmallows (65%) were:

More socially competent

More personally effective

More self-assertive

Better able to cope with life’s frustrations

Less likely to go to pieces under stress

Less likely to become disorganized under pressure

More persistent in the face of difficulties

More self-reliant and confident

More trustworthy and dependable

More initiating and motivated with projects

Still able to delay gratification in pursuit of goals

More academically successful

Better at concentration, planning

More eager to learn

Earned 210 points higher scores on SAT’s

These children had developed the habits of successful adults. The habits, the centerpiece of which is delayed gratification and self discipline, point to more thriving marriages, greater career satisfaction which leads to higher incomes, and better health.

The children with exercised low self-control and gobbled up the one marshmallow (35%) were:

Socially introverted

More stubborn and indecisive

More easily upset by frustrations

More likely to think of themselves as “bad” or unworthy

More likely to regress or become immobilized by stress

More mistrustful and resentful about not “getting enough”

More prone to jealousy and envy

More likely to overreact to irritations with a sharp temper

Still unable to delay gratification or control impulses

If not corrected, lack of impulse control will continue to trip these kids up throughout life, resulting in unsuccessful marriages, low job satisfaction and as a result low income, bad health and all around frustration with life.

LET’S Focus on You!

OK. Back to you and the child in your life. If you have a child who is clearly going to be a one-marshmallow kind of kid, don’t despair.

Like any good habit, delayed gratification can be learned. Use your playtime to teach this skill. Choose toys and books and media that reinforce self-discipline and reward the behaviors daily.
Molding desired behavior when children are young and receptive is far easier than the far more challenging work required to change behavior when they are older and perhaps -how can we put it – less receptive to Mom or Dad’s instruction.

Let me provide you with a practical way to do this regarding financial discipline:

If your kids are ‘tweens or teens and have been caught up in the daily barrage of the “I want, therefore I need” spending syndrome, try this riddle.
Ask your child to record what they spend on things they want every day for a week. They can even estimate at the end of each day before they go to bed what that dollar amount is.

Typically these expenses are in the “I want” category, such as snack food or a trinket, not the “I need” category as in laces for those overly expensive sneakers.

At the end of the week sit down and see if they have spent at least $4 a day on “I wants.” Chances are they have spent that, and then some. Then, ask them to quickly answer this multiple choice test – without using a calculator:

At age 12 you decide not to buy soda or extra snacks – either during the school week or on weekends or vacations. You save $4.00 a day. You put $4 a day in a savings vehicle such as a long-term IRA CD at five percent annual interest and leave it alone.

At age 67, your savings is:

(a) $1,159
(b) $25,355
(c) $80,352
(d) $427,025

Answer: (d), or $427,025. Note that $80,352 is from the daily deposits and the remaining $346,673 is interest!

Once you tell them the answer, or they realize it themselves, their eyes will widen with renewed respect for the power and importance of saving – aka delayed gratification and self-discipline.

If we can instill these valuable lessons, we will equip our children with lifelong skills. We will be able to do what every parent hopes – deliver our child into a successful adulthood having learned first-hand the power of two marshmallows.

WHAT TO DO NOW: Share your two-cents worth on the power of delayed gratification and it’s impact on your performance.

]]>20 Seconds of Couragehttp://www.everythingcounts.com/20-seconds-of-courage/
Tue, 28 Oct 2014 18:36:43 +0000http://www.everythingcounts.com/?p=3077What can you do with just 20 seconds of insane courage 3 times per day?

With these next few lines, I’d like to speak into that idea and challenge you to embrace this simple, yet life changing strategy.

Why?

Because if you do, amazing things will happen in your life and business.

I promise – it works!

Twenty seconds. What if that’s all it took? Just twenty ticks of the clock to turn everything around?

There will be days when you do not feel very courageous, that you will be fearful and uncomfortable in reaching out, speaking to others, or in dealing with a challenging issue. Yet over and over again you are reminded to “BE STRONG AND HAVE COURAGE.”

How do you reconcile this gap?

Is courageous a state of being, a unique personality trait, a gift of high quality DNA, a special breed of human being?

Or can it simply be a conscious, momentary decision? Something we “take.” A choice?

(More on that choice in just a moment.)

Have you ever noticed who gets the most respect and the most rewards in life?

Look closely and notice that it’s not the wallflowers; it’s not the people that sit back and wait for others to do things for them.

Those who have accomplished much in life have been men and women with a spirit of boldness, courage and adventure.

When will your finest hour come, and how will it arrive? Do you really think it will materialize without an act of supreme courage, audacity or boldness?

What bold, courageous initiatives are you planning for today?

When you are facing a decision to act, consider it as an opportunity to prove your worth, to show whomever it is how much you believe in yourself and what you are about to discuss.

20 seconds of insane courage, are you feeling it?

Maybe courageous isn’t a word people use to describe you. But if you could muster up just 20 seconds of boldness today, 20 seconds of bravery…

What would you do?

What would you say?

Who would you call?

Where would you go?

What idea would you initiate?

Who would you reach out to?

What difficult conversation would you have?

What issue would you address?

Who would you encourage?

Who would you confront?

What would you believe?

What would you risk?

Use these examples to frame your own expectations for your future. Then ask:

“Can I find a way, 3 times per day to demonstrate 20 seconds of insane courage in order to take my life and career to unprecedented levels?”

I know you can. The real question is…will you begin doing it today?

WHAT TO DO NOW? Embrace this simple 20 second strategy and share your victories which will inspire others to do the same.

]]>Small is Beautifulhttp://www.everythingcounts.com/small-is-beautiful/
Mon, 18 Nov 2013 18:15:11 +0000http://www.everythingcounts.com/?p=4212Many artists have used pencils to create works of art – but Dalton Ghetti creates miniature masterpieces on the tips of pencils.

Because in his eyes, small is beautiful, Dalton’s idea is to bring people’s attention to small things.

So, as a challenge to himself and because of his interest in small living things, like plants (moss) and insects (spiders and ants), he decided to create the smallest possible carvings that he could see with his naked eyes.

One day, he picked up a working pencil and started carving it…and what he has created is truly unique, original, and outstanding works of art.

Most of the pencils he uses are found on the streets and sidewalks. His work is a recycling process. He turns discarded objects into art, and he makes every part of the pencil count.

The whole process is a labor of love and most of his art takes months or sometimes years to complete a sculpture…the end result is both surreal and sensational.

]]>3..7..10..26http://www.everythingcounts.com/3-7-10-26/
Fri, 24 May 2013 04:52:48 +0000http://www.everythingcounts.com/?p=37593..7..10..26 is the combination of success.

In the spirit of keeping things simple, we must remember that there are only:

3 COLORS: Picasso, Rembrandt and Matisse created masterpieces with them.

7 NOTES: Beethoven, Bach and Vivaldi used them to compose beautiful music.

10 DIGITS: Einstein, Hawking, and Tesla used them to discover hidden mysteries.

26 LETTERS: Shakespeare, Hemingway, and Twain used them to unleash imagination.

What are you doing with them to make your life extraordinary?

How are you impacting the world through their use?

Your life and legacy demands that you unlock this combination and put it to full use!

]]>The Difference Between THE and Ahttp://www.everythingcounts.com/the-difference-between-the-and-a/
Thu, 23 May 2013 00:00:12 +0000http://www.everythingcounts.com/?p=3740I have a confession to make.

I’m one of those people who can latch on to subtle differences in word meanings.

You will often find me in the midst of a conversation that includes someone saying, “Isn’t this just a matter of semantics?” And, they’re usually correct.

MOST semantic disagreements are minor and not worth the effort – however, I want to focus on one such distinction that is guaranteed to create some valuable dialogue around your house, organization, or any place you hang your hat.

One of the hottest books of the past decade was written by Rhonda Byrne of Australia.

She titled her book The Secret – a decision that I believe had a lot to do with its success.

It’s a self-help book with some rather unusual suggestions.

Want to lose weight? Don’t heed your doctor’s advice by changing your eating and exercise habits, rather follow Byrne’s suggestion that you “avoid looking at people who are overweight.” [I’m not kidding.]

In a world saturated with advice and how-to books, why did The Secret drawn so much attention?

“It was an incredibly savvy move to call it ‘The Secret.’ We all want to be in on a secret. But to present it as THE secret, that was brilliant.” [Newsweek – March 5, 2007]

Did you catch the subtle and critical difference?

Byrne’s book doesn’t promise to be ONE of a number of secrets?

It doesn’t promise to share a dozen secrets – she claims to have the THE secret.

FOCUS ON YOU

So What Does This Have to Do With You?

Ask yourself these questions:

Do I want to be A consultant who helps people brainstorm, or THE consultant who helps companies do things differently?

Do you want to have A shoe store? Or, would you rather be THE shoe store that caters to busy working moms?

Which airline would you prefer to fly? One of many who travel to New York, or THE airline with the most on-time departures.

Do you want to be A personal trainer, or THE personal trainer that builds champion marathoners and triathletes?

Do you want to be A chiropractor who adjusts people’s spine, or THE chiropractor who helps people to live a long healthy life?

Would you prefer to be A salesperson, or THE rainmaker of your industry who is the most connected and highly paid expert?