Hey.

Dec 29 Peace out 2017

Okay so I had this bright idea a couple of weeks ago of going to the beach by myself, eating an amazing lunch from Misters and maybe writing a few new blog posts. I sat down and carefully brought out my MacBook, balancing it on my knees so that it wouldn’t come close to the sand at all. Suddenly, a huuuuge (honestly, HUGE) gust of wind came and blew sand all over me and everything I had brought to the beach. My bag, headphones, chocolate and MacBook were sandkissed. After doing some research, it turns out that all of the new MacBooks have a keyboard design that renders them absolutely useless if even the smallest crumb gets under them. Go figure.

So that’s part of the reason I’ve been MIA, the other part is that in my free time I’ve preferred mindless tasks because I’m so tired. I feel like I still haven’t caught up on my sleep since the end of the semester and working 3 jobs certainly has done nothing to help. Anyway, I’ve downloaded the iPhone app for squarespace and we’ll see how it goes blogging from here for the next two weeks until I get my MacBook back. My planned blogs were about what I learnt at TEDxAuckland and my feelings about the first reading of the euthanasia bill so keep your eyes peeled for those still to be written in the next few days. I think for this update, I’ll focus on these weird feelings I have as the new year approaches. I laugh at all the “new year, new me” Instagram posts, but really, I feel that way too. It’s exciting to have a figurative fresh start, a new chapter, if you will. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about making change today and not waiting for a new week, month or year to move yourself closer to a life you want. But in all honesty, the obsessive planner in me is ecstatic about the fact that January 1st is a Monday.

Every year I get post-Christmas blues, I’m one of those people who never tires of Christmas carols, handcrafts their own bows and makes decorating the tree an event bigger than Christmas Day itself. I honestly don’t even really like Christmas Day, for me it’s been stressful for as long as I can remember. I am an introvert and an empath and spending the day with a large number of people, interacting for hours on end is draining. I dodge questions about when we are getting married, having kids, moving out, leaving retail, graduating. I worry if people liked what I got them, if it fits, and what I’m going to do with all the miscellaneous gifts I received but am never going to use. I think about all the people who would dream of too many gifts and too much food and then pile on some more guilt about how ungrateful I am. Once it’s all over, I prepare myself for the madness that is Boxing Day in retail. It’s terrifying to see people who are probably nice people, pushing past others and arguing with you over a $10 discount on slides.

As the days roll into each other, I begin to think about goals for the new year which leaves me feeling overwhelmed. I try to ground myself by thinking about what I’ve achieved this year, it’s so easy to feel like everyone is moving ahead and you’re at a standstill. But honestly, fuck that. I’m working 3 jobs, living pay check to pay check and that feels like shit when you’re 25. What does 25 signify though? Nothing. Everyone is moving at their own pace and I’m not missing out on anything. Working 3 mostly flexible jobs means I can go to the beach midweek and get sand sprayed on my MacBook. I’m not going to let society’s expectations get me down, because I don’t want a cookie cutter life. I want a life of freedom and joy. I don’t want to be locked into a 9-5 and climbing a career ladder where I end up so high I can’t get down. I’ve seen those “successful” people, that’s not me. So my goals the new year are to practice gratitude, give myself a break by reflecting on what I’m good at and have achieved instead of the opposite, and finally to live more simply.

Highlights of 2017:

Seeing some cool bands play

Fundraising for the Mental Health Foundation and training for the Auckland Half Marathon

Learning so much during my PG Dip in Public Health

Finding the courage to start this blog

Helping build the Cloud Runners community and watching others smash their goals

The vegan potluck Christmas dinner with my friends

Discovering there is a Christmas carol by Elton John

Let me know what your highlights are for 2017 and what you’re looking forward to in 2018. Don’t let New Years resolutions focus on your deficits, focus on what’s good and what could be even better. Also, if you are as excited about January 1st being a Monday and/or you have a diary/planner/Bullet journal that you’re starting, be sure to tag me in it because I LOVE that shit.