Why Melissa Gorga Didn’t Just Collaborate With Joe Gorga For Her New Song ‘I Just Wanna’ Is Beyond Me

Just when you had managed to put Melissa Gorga‘s grating song “On Display” out of your heads, she’s back with a new single, “I Just Wanna.” And there’s an actual music video attached. The Insider sucked up to her with this behind-the-scenes video of the shoot, where Melissa keeps a total straight face while talking about how she takes inspiration from Beyonce and Jennifer Lopez‘s toned legs and how “I always wanted to do a track where I had a male voice come in.”

When you hear that Melissa has a male collaborator, you think, it has to be her sweaty, uber-masculine husband Joe Gorga, right? Melissa goes on and on about how her music just needed a male presence, and that guy controls every aspect of his wife’s life, from her wearing the right lingerie/bandage dress combo to giving her her own recording studio so she could start this dubious side career. Even the way she describes the video sounds like a typical episode with horndog Joe pawing her in-between scenes: “I’m sweaty, I’m hot, I’m messy, but I love every second of it.” Why shell out the money for hip-hop producer Santino Noir when Bravo could just add this music video to what they already pay her husband for the show?

The problem with Melissa’s music is that she’s dead serious; she completely envisions herself as some Flashdance-era singer. At least when LuAnn De Lesseps releases singles like “Chic, C’est la Vie,” she’s being campy as hell. Wait! You know who she should’ve brought into her video? Her brother-in-law Joe Giudice! She would’ve gotten to hitch her sad new song to his recent press from cheating on Teresa Giudice, and Melissa could’ve stuck it to her sister-in-law. I’m surprised that with all the reality show producers collaborating on this, no one thought how amazing it would’ve been to have “Juicy Joe” grunting and rapping his way through the dance single?

The problem is definitely that she takes herself 100% seriously. I would feel so much better if she knew that she had no singing skillz. But it makes me so uncomfortable that she thinks she’s making it as a pop star based on her talent.