You want me to write a post about you so you can steal EVEN MORE OF MY FOLLOWERS and PRETEND THEY WERE YOURS TO START WITH and that’s fine, here I am writing a post about you because I’m nice and kind like that, but really, all you had to do was ask.

So go on everyone, go and join the old goat’s blog, he NEEDS you, he’s DESPERATE, so DESPERATE he copied my 200 FOLLOWERS badge and pretended it was his own because he couldn’t bear to think I’d beat him to 200, just like he copies EVERYTHING of mine. They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery – NO IT’S NOT, IT’S JUST COPYING, YOU NUMPTY so find your own ideas, stop nicking mine.

And he called me a THIEF. Well I’m NOT a convicted thief, Dibble gave me Cautions each time.

Is he hopeless?

Is he useless?

Is he desperate?

Is the Pope waterproof?

YES to all of the above – but pity La Popinjay, please, my lovelies. Charity is good for the soul.

P.S. You’re probably thinking, ‘Why should I bother going to see a blog written by a BABBLING INGRATE?‘ and you’d be correct in thinking that so to be honest I’d advise you to GO HERE INSTEAD.

P.P.S. OY, ARSEWIPE – I don’t live in a flat so GET YOUR FACTS RIGHT. Shows how much you actually READ.

clownonfire

Dotty,
Such a petty reaction, saddens me, really.
But what else should I expect from The Fucking Queen of England.
Aren’t there any reruns of Coronation Street playing right now to entertain you?
Le #1 Dotty Fan Clown

Dear Idiot,
Even 10 followers is more than I got from you. I’ve only had a measly 3 and I think I saw a chicken scuttling out of your place but it was squawking too much for me to catch it. Oh, wait a minute, was that you?
Love Dotty xxx
P.S. Sara has more clicks than you. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

kzackuslheureux

Dear Dotty,
Stupid North Americans think everyone lives in a “flat” across the pond… they just want to use the only British term they can remember. Can I label le Clown an old Scrote, too? I love it!
Love, Alphabet

He might cry if you call him names – he likes it from me because I’m British and he knows we have a natural superiority to everyone else in the world. It’s a bit like Supernanny but with bigger babies. But I’ll ask him and see what he says —

OY, FUCKFACE – ALPHABET WANTS TO KNOW IF SHE CAN CALL YOU AN OLD SCROTE TOO.

Dearest Dotty,
I’m so very happy to have found your blog via Le Clown.
I love to share your posts with my Mister and Elflings, too.
My Mister is a bit of a Wally, but he does enjoy your blog.
If I can ever get him to set up a blog, he’ll follow you, too.
Reminds me… my middle Elfling has a blog. I’ll let her know
to follow you as well.
Much love,
Veggiewitch ♥

Thank you very, very much for coming to see ME FIRST before you went to see La Popinjay. He’ll have a fit when he notices.

I’ll be very welcoming and kind to ALL your family if they follow my blog. And I know you like your veggies but Cumberland sausages will be available to one and all if they want them. And Veggiewitch, please DO NOT READ THE P.S. AT THE END OF THIS REPLY.

Love Dotty xxx

P.S. Hello Mr. Veggiewizard. Would you like a Cumberland sausage? I know you want one really – don’t worry, I won’t tell the missus.

Dearest Dotty,
Thank you so much for your kindness and hospitality.
My youngest would very likely have loads of trouble declining
a Cumberland sausage sandwich, but she is too young for a blog just yet.
Much love,
Veggiewitch ♥

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I just appreciate the structural engineering - what's wrong with that?