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” I know this place. I am in a huge cave which is all made of crystals, the walls, the roof, and even part of the ground beneath my feet.

In the middle there is a pond. The water is terse and reflects its greenish-emerald hue onto the whole cave. The light itself is of a beautiful greenish hue. Raising my eyes, I can`t see any tiny patch of sky, there is no place where the dim light could come from, but it pervades all. So eerie, so beautiful, it mesmerizes me.

The pond is full of crystals of different sizes and shapes. Some of them are so big that they jut out of the pond`s surface. Down from the water`s depths up to its surface. Big, huge crystals of different shapes. And in the middle of the pond there is a low stone bridge. I turn to look around me. Everything seems made of Crystals, except for the natural rock pathway I am standing on and this rock bridge. It is utterly beautiful and sacred here. I can see a small waterfall on the far side. I love its sound, so joyous and relaxing. My cheeks are caressed by the vibrations sent out by the myriads of crystals. It feels like I’m among family. I know them all. I am back, I am in my center.

Then the scene blurs and shifts. I see an elderly man standing on the bridge in a long robe. I hear a humming sound coming out of his chest. He holds a sword. He looks somehow like the images I have seen of Merlin, but as I look at him he changes into a woman. She is the Lady of the Crystal Lake. Now she is the one holding the sword.

They are two, but they look like one to me, or maybe they move like one. They move in an indescribable way, almost like a wave. They come as one towards me.

The man’s face tells me of Wisdom, the Lady ‘s tells me of Integrity.

But as they get close to me their faces melt in Love and understanding. They know me. I know them. There is not even need for trust or to trust. I know them. The feeling is so absolute it goes beyond trust. I know who they are. They pull me into a fierce embrace, and the feeling is of melting in this sense of Peace they emanate. A Peace That IS. I look up in their eyes and see me reflected there and I feel I know who I AM.

I then pull back a little and put my question to them . “How can I meet the departed souls in a loving way ?” I am not sure who answers first or if they speak together, but I hear:

“ It is an extremely intense job. Go slowly. Prepare yourself.

Do not rush but keep the Heart open to any possibility that presents itself.

It will present itself.

Do not shy away, be the pure core of your being.

Talk to them in the only language recognized by all, Love.

They need to trust you before they can follow the lead.

And when the Light is seen, remember you must keep clear of it.

It is a Light that gets lost at times, but can be found again as they get ready to accept it.

Show them the steel that is covered in Love. That is called Integrity.

Show them that fear can be conquered by Love, and that is called Wisdom.

Then let the Beauty of the Soul shine, and that is called Pure Radiance, the Light of God.”

Now they have this little blue crystal box with a sword carved on the lid. There are serpents around the sword. They hold it towards me and as I open it, the crystals around us start singing. It feels like a symphony but it is actually one very high tone.

From the box, of its own will, a many-arm-3D Star floats out. It is so bright and there are shining sparks around it. It is ALIVE. It holds Life. I don’t dare touch it yet. It floats in mid air in front of me irradiating so much Divinity and Love.

I can’t take my eyes off it, yet I know I still cannot touch it, but I also somehow seem to know that I can touch the box that holds it. It is not for me yet, but it will lead me on. It floats back into the box and as the lid closes, I can finally hold it to my Heart.

This is the key to my inner dimension, the Star will lead me here again. I feel deep Peace at this thought and bask in this moment. I feel unity, but cannot define this feeling . Godhead is with me and I know I cannot lose it.”

As I awake and come back to Earth and to my room, I am so grateful for this wonderful dream and I know that whatever I choose to do with the gift, they will not judge me. They will be looking after me from that place inside that is connected with All. They trust me. Just like that. A part of me is astounded at such Trust, but I have the feeling that I shall be back and meet them again and again.

In my life I have had the joy of experiencing vividly beautiful dreams, uncanny out of body experiences, and truly insightful hypnagogic visions, but the lucid dream experience had always eluded me … that is, until now. The other night I was blessed with a taste of such incredible human experience, and although it lasted for only a few minutes, I am still so happy and mystified that it happened at all.

This infinitesimal moment of lucidity proved to become the catalyst for one of the most astounding spectacles I have ever witnessed and it bestowed such gift I shall be forever grateful for.

I was having a normal dream, which was getting more and more boring (don’t even remember it well). For some reason, the me inside the dream got really, really fed up and at one point shouted out loud:

“C’mon!! Show me something beautiful !!”

Just as I said this, the image changed completely.

I am now looking at the blue ocean from somewhere above. And in front of my eyes there is an incredible seascape. On the left I see the shoreline with a beautiful sandy beach, and on the right is the blue ocean.

Now on the left area of the ocean I see a beeline of whales basically `standing` with their bodies half out of water and spraying water up in the air from their mouths. There must have been 30, 40 of them, more maybe. They were all standing in this position half body out, and spraying water upward at the same time.

More on the right, I see another row of whales (but of another type, these were humpback whales), and the first whale is jumping out of the sea on the right side, thumping the ocean surface with a massive splash . I can see the surf surging upwards. Then next whale, this time doing the same thing but on the left , and next whale to the right, and the next one to the left, and this goes on and on, right, left, right , left for some 20, 30 whales if not more…

A kind of synchronized swimming in order to make this exquisite dance of water sprays.

So from up in the sky where I am, I see on the left side of the ocean this row of standing whales spraying water upwards, and on the right this row of whales jumping one after the other out of the water alternately on the right and left. It is an out-of-the -world view to behold ! all this beautiful water show of sprays ! and all these beautiful creatures ! Then as I zoom up on the `standing` row of whales on the left, I can see their faces from closer and realize that the first 20 or so were whales indeed, but the second half were dolphins, although they were almost as big as the whales .

Can you imagine this picture ??

This magnificent extravaganza of whales swimming, jumping, splashing, all the time making huge sprays of water, either from up their mouths or by jumping/falling onto the water, and on two different rows and going on for miles !!! a sort ofsynchronized water-dance show displayed for my benefit, and it seems at my request !!!

I couldn’t believe my eyes. To say that my dream-jaw dropped is an understatement!!! I came back to normal consciousness too soon indeed, but woke up in pure euphoria and gratitude for this incredible spectacle and performance they put up for me. After all, I had requested `something beautiful `, right??!!! And they gave me more than I could have imagined or ever hoped for!!!

Too bad that it lasted only for a few moments and that even after this inspiring experience I can`t yet say I have had a full-scale lucid dream – at least to this day.

Nonetheless, we get what we get, and let`s be happy and grateful for what we receive, and graceful about it 🙂 !

“I was flying near the ceiling, looking down at my body under my bed-covers asleep in bed. It looked pretty lifeless, one arm protruding out of the covers and my face half hidden in the pillow. Yet it was me all right, but that me didn’t look like it was thinking much. In fact, the `me ` thinking was the me hovering in air near the ceiling… “ (2010)

This is a passage from my OBE Journal and a defining moment in my life.
Until that moment I had always assumed I was able to think because I had a brain. I mean, it is thanks to my brain that I can do any thinking, right? … But what now ? Where was my brain? Not with me, as I could see my head – hopefully with a brain inside – right beneath me.
And as far as I could see, there was no piece missing that I might have taken along with me up to the ceiling … up to the ceiling where I was thinking so logically, so rationally, with such focus and clarity. And my brain nowhere near me.
Hey! I am saying I can see my brain and it`s nowhere near me !! And yet, I am thinking !

Well, call it a defining moment ! It was much more than that. It was confusing and eye-opening all at once. It baffled and mystified me. It made me re-think and re-value all I had thought I knew for true until that moment. And this really got me thinking 😉 !

So, if I can think without my brain, WHO IS THE THINKER ?? THE THINKER WHO DOESN`T NEED A BRAIN TO THINK ….. !!!

For the first time in my life I realized, like in a real deep knowing, that there was more to me than a physical body, that there was a Bigger Me who was doing all the thinking and who didn’t even need a brain to do it. Well, it didn`t seem to need it when I was out-of-body at any rate (as in an OBE or simply dreaming/sleeping, since this is also another form- albeit unconscious- of out of body).

So how does all this work ? When in our bodies, we cannot think without a brain. I daresay we can all agree on that. But when out of body, what/who is then doing the thinking ?
And what is the relationship between the two ?

I am certainly in no position to make big statements here, and besides, this is only my little personal blog full of all my absurd little stories, but I don’t believe anymore it’s my brain, on its own, that thinks. It makes more sense to me to believe the brain is a kind of receiver, a tool that Awareness (Consciousness) uses to communicate with the physical body.
A Consciousness (or a part of Consciousness maybe, as we are supposed to be part of a whole) that uses the brain to download the thinking/reasoning process into the physical body, or that at least allows it.

In other words, just as radio and TV sets get waves of information from transmission stations around the Earth, the brain has the same ability to show information, received from a greater Awareness, as sounds and images to the rest of the body.
Of course, this is purely speculative. And I am not saying I am right, just sharing an experience which brought about an unexpected and to me revolutionary insight. However, the possibility that this could be true must at least be considered.
So the old quote “I think, therefore I am” feels a bit outdated to me. I`d rather say “I AM (Awareness), therefore I think” 😉 .

But of course, that could be only me !

Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev, one of the greatest mystic yogis of our times and the one I admire the most, makes his followers meditate on this mantra: `I am not my body. I am not even my mind`.
Well, he is so right ! such inconceivable truth !! It just so happened that for me this revelation came with the compliments of an OB experience ! 

This time I shall just let my Journal talk, since I am still pondering on the very many meanings and teachings of this OBE.

April 19, 20014 1~3 am? (Holy Friday night)

Before sleeping, I had given intent to meet my Guides, or the Guide who was most important for me at the moment.
It starts as a dream. At one point I see me lying down supine on a huge belt conveyor that is moving backwards at tremendous speed (which means I am going backwards too, can’t actually see where I am going).
Here I become conscious and for some reason think “This is a wonderful chance to get out of body!” (although it beats me why I thought so )
So, as I`m moving backwards at incredible speed, in order to facilitate the process of getting out of body I raise my arms backwards like in Superman style but belly up (again have no idea why this would be facilitating the process).

Anyway, I can really feel the moment of detach.
It starts from my fingertips and hands, then arms and then my torso tilted at 45 degrees and smoothly getting out of the body as if it were a glove. I actually remember seeing my `fingers` (astral fingers) getting out of my physical fingers, exactly like a glove (but it was the dream body, right, I was getting out of , so that would be a third body (wow!)??).

I start flying up at great speed, higher and higher, yet still belly up !! I kind of like it, but realize this is not the most comfortable of positions, and also that I am actually flying like Superman, and just as fast as he would ( had never done it before). The thing is I need to change my belly up position to belly down position and at that speed I am not sure I can do it. I decide to try, and in fact I succeed in easily turning myself down and start flying like a proper Superman ! YAY ! The only difference would be that my fingers are stretched out and not curled in fists !!
I enjoy going at great speed up and down, here and there for fun, although must say that I don’t remember seeing any beautiful panoramas or views , just the blue sky and white clouds.

Now at some point here I very lucidly remember that before falling asleep, I had given intent to meet my Guides, and so I say out loud `I want to meet my Guides!`
Just as I say this, I am propelled straight up, vertically up, higher and higher at extreme speed. All of a sudden I stop and find myself squashed to a huge trunk of a huge tree, pretty much like a fly on a wall but face to the wall. I am confused at first.

I look at this tree and then look around. There is a whole forest of these trees. They look like Redwoods, but they are maybe more than 200 or 300 meters tall. I can’t actually see the bottom. The trunk I am compressed to is maybe 2 meters in diameter (not that big in proportion to the height).
Then as I look back at the tree trunk, trying to get an `understandable` grip of all this, it hits me .

“OH! I SEE !!!! The Tree is my Guide !”
And for some reason, this seems to make sense to me, that a tree could be my guide (I have always loved trees since I was child, even calling them my brothers).

A sense of Love and gratitude and joy springs up from inside me and I hug the tree, truly embrace it.
And I hug it with both my arms spread wide and my face turned to the left (right cheek on the trunk).
Now, as I am in this position, just a few inches on the left, I see a wooden cross hung or stuck to the tree, not big, maybe some 30 cm., with the Christ on it (similar to one I have home).
Now, and I don’t know how to explain this, this really surprises me; I am completely, completely taken aback.
It is so unexpected. I just can’t seem to process/download/accept it in my mind.

Then I turn a bit on the right, and again very close to me, there is a small image of Mary.
I feel double-shocked, also again I am totally taken aback. I didn’t expect this either.
Of course it is not that I don’t appreciate this, rather quite the opposite. To me, they are quite a bit beyond …`guides`.
I am so surprised because I had asked to meet my Guides, and funny as it sounds, while meeting the big tree as a guide didn’t surprise me a bit, it seems I was not able to make sense of Jesus and Mary being there ….as my Guides?? … always imagined Guides more like ex-people or ex-BIG-people lol.
Or maybe I wonder whether They (Jesus and Mary) were there just as symbols, since there were only images of Them after all.

Well, anyway, don’t know if it was because of the shock of not being able to process this , but it`s either I don’t remember what happens next or I just fell into a dream. Actually I vaguely remember spending the rest of the night tumbling from one dream into another !

Not sure what to make of all this yet, but I woke up so happy of having succeeded in becoming conscious and in remembering my intent and in flying Superman -style (loved it !!). And most of all, of course, happy of meeting my … Guides !! but honestly, not one of Them was close to anything I would have expected.

PS. In the beginning of the dream when I became conscious/lucid, for some reason I thought that speeding backwards was a chance to get out of body … have no idea why I thought so.

So maybe, I guess, there are other parts of me or other me-s who know things I don’t know or, at least, don’t remember.

After my first three unforgettable OBEs, where I was attacked by ghost-like entities, my projections seemed to fall into this pattern of me `waking up ` in this `other world` in the blink of an eye, getting out of my body without even noticing it, and then going about my house looking out for any possible threat by `above-mentioned ill-inclined` astral entities, and in case `dealing` with them.
For reasons still hard to define, I seemed to turn into a true ghost-buster looking around for these vaporous astral forms and kicking their astral butt if I found any!

I, as the observer me (a much more innocuous me !), was totally mystified by this outrageous behavior and display of such different personality, so I dubbed her `Big-She-crazy-me`.

There were so many of these experiences in my first OBE years that I practically lost count, but to sum it up, it was all about this `she/me` sensing or seeing these negative energies in the house, either on the bed or in my room or in the corridors, and challenging them out.
Sometimes `she/me` would start softly, saying something like “ I can take you to the Light”, but after feeling strong malevolence coming out of them, she would become incensed and wave her arms in strange movements, cutting the air as if trying to disperse or possibly dissolve them (although I have no idea whether this is possible or not).

Some other times yet this `she/me` would chide them as if they were unruly children and would respond to their bad pranks by telling them that by now they should know they had no power whatsoever over her (aka me!).
A true Vigilante of unruly and extremely annoying and naughty entities. 🙂

At the same time, I couldn`t help but notice how this `she/me` was always very careful in trying not to hurt them, and, as you will see, this uncanny element is very strongly present in this next OBE that I would like to share with you now.
It is a short one, but so vivid and so real that I don`t think I have ever been that real in my whole life !

And by the way, I need to remind you that in 2008 I still had no idea of what was happening to me and … WHY.
So once again, from my Dream Journal:

March 25, 2008 1 am.

God, it was so real. It happened again, right after falling asleep. For the first time I think I knew it was coming… It was more real than ever. So consciously moving and acting that maybe I didn’t even realize my body was asleep. I was so completely `there` inside that other body.

In spite of the weight and the pull of this strange gravity around me that always impedes my movements, I exercised all my strength, and was able to get to the light switch in a relatively short time (very often the `thick` air impedes my movements and it feels like ages before my hand can finally get to the switch).
Yet the light , as usual, didn`t turn on.
But then I realized that I had actually turned the light on, but `they` were there again, on the bed probably, and `they ` were absorbing the light.
This was confirmed by the fact that there was a halo at the edges of my room.

Their obstinacy in trying to infuriate me indeed irritated me and so I pulled the bed light out in order to make a focused beam on the bed (like a flash light) to see if I could see them, but it was too dim. I decided then to do something to bring in more light, like maybe go out of the room or open the door (I don’t remember exactly here) .
By this time I was quite geared up to what I can only define as `teach them a lesson`.
In trying to get to the door I took off my bed covers in the dark and, inexplicably, stood on the bed and took a few steps on the bed itself in order to climb down. ( have no idea why I had to stand on the bed to do this …)

As I took my second or third step, my right foot trod on something soft, soft as … flesh.
Now I seemed to be extremely concerned that I might have stepped on one of them and maybe hurt it , so I hastily lifted my leg up (funny that I care about not hurting them).
At the same time, all the while saying `I`ve got you now`, my right hand went lightning-quick down to catch it (I really didn’t want to let it get away with this) and, to my greatest surprise, it found …fur…!
Anyway, I grabbed it, and this `thing` literally inserted its fangs deep inside the flesh of my hand, the hand that had caught it .
It was a cat, a very big cat, or it had shape-shifted into a cat, I don`t know.
The weird part was that the fierce bite should have hurt, but it didn’t, not a bit, in spite of the fact that I could feel the very shape of the sharp teeth inside my hand.

Getting angrier by the moment, I got off the bed with this cat held firmly in my right hand -its teeth deeply embedded in my flesh-, and finally got to the door.
And then I went on saying something so barely credible and astonishing and almost embarrassing, that the `little me` observing was totally dumbfounded.
Angry as I was, I yelled out these words exactly :
“You don`t understand that I am Love, Love, LOVE, and I SHALL LOVE YOU !” (this is so incredible , I still can’t believe I said it)
Well, anyway, so much for Love! It must have been Love in its most incensed form ! or a very passionate aspect of Love, to use an euphemism …!

Then I opened the door and one of my dogs Cookie (who died a few years ago) was sniffing around (did it smell `cat` ???).
I was trying to find a way to get rid of this cat, and as I looked down the stairs, I came to the decision of dropping it to the ground floor, but since I didn’t want to hurt it, I looked around for a good spot where it could land safely on its feet. I saw an open space and I dropped it there. Still a bit worried, I looked over the handrail and was relieved to see how nimbly it landed on its four paws.
Then I heard some water splashing sounds coming out of the bathroom, and wondered whether my husband was still taking a bath, and then woke up.

Considerations :
I am getting stronger.
I didn’t even feel the pain of the bite.
In waking up I was not even afraid, and now at almost 2 am., I know I am going to fall asleep again, but am not scared (yay!).
It`s not that I like these experiences, but now I know I can deal with them. In my own way. As I guess I am supposed to do.

YET … why do I go there, why do I HAVE TO go there?
Why is this happening to me??
To show me what ?? to tell me what ??
WHAT IS IT ? `WHY` IS IT ?
At the moment, I can’t see any reason for this or any positive outcome out of these experiences…I fight `them`, call them names, or when sick as I was last year, I am bullied by them…
This gift (is it a gift ???), how am I intended to use it?DOES IT HAPPEN TO OTHER PEOPLE TOO??

Since most of my early OBEs were mainly about having `energy bouts` with some unkind astral entities, this beautiful experience was a welcome change and made me see how inspiring and mind blowing OBEs could be. There is indeed so much more to the astral than meets the eye, and I am finding out more with each new experience.

I value these experiences so much. The most transcendent moments of my life happened in dreams. The sense of connection with some part of me which is Higher and wiser, and with all the rest of Creation, the incredibly vivid landscapes, the living colors and sounds, and all the Love poured out in there are to me pure sublime experiences.

In 2006, when this particular experience took place, I still had no `OBE` term in my vocabulary, so I used to call them `physical dreams` to make a distinction from my `normal` dreams.

Now, once again, from my Dream Journal….how I met an old tiny but powerful friend…:

June 9, 2006 11.30 pm. Almost Full Moon

Just after falling deeply, so deeply asleep.

Again one of those `asleep experiences` I call “physical” dreams . They usually start from the same position I am in bed and everything is so REAL and it feels exactly as if everything is happening in my room and in that very moment.

So I am sleeping in my bed, when M.S. (my good and huge friend from Germany) comes and sits by the side of my bed on a small chair that is not actually there in `waking reality`. He is wearing a white drape-toga-like-garment, with short sleeves with a slit, and long to his ankles, with a loose rope at the waist. I sit up on my bed in one smooth movement , leaving effortlessly and so nonchalantly my physical body behind (and asleep !).

I am a bit surprised to see him. What is he doing here ? `How` is he here ?

I see that on his arm he is wearing a thin and simple one-string bracelet with just one small crystal in the middle. The crystal looks so tiny on his big arm. He starts telling me a bit about his trip with his wife I.Z. in Europe , and then quite suddenly he says :

“ But you must listen to this “

And he slowly lifts his arm and puts his wrist, where the bracelet’s crystal is, to my ear and, to my great astonishment, I hear the most incredible and beautiful sound …!

The Crystal is singing …! It is literally singing into my ear …

Such a trill, so pure, so high, so full of joy. Pure joy.

A very high and strong sound, like the trill of water turned into music, into a stunning melody.

It was strange. It was definitely one sound, but it felt and sounded like a symphony .

I have never heard anything like it, and I can`t explain in understandable words how unearthly it was.

The feeling that it was singing for me was intimate and wonderful, full of Love and Joy at the same time.

Like meeting an old friend again after a longtime …

The trill sound goes on, possibly for a few minutes, and it gets stronger and stronger , higher and higher until it starts hurting the inside of my ears; still it is so beautiful, that I do not want to acknowledge the starting discomfort. Until I do… but I don’t remember well here.

Next thing I know, M.S. is not there anymore, and I am walking in my room in this `other` body, and my room is the same but also slightly different. As I look around, I see a plant in a vase on a high shelf near a little window (which is actually not there in my real room).

It is a luscious , beautifully green plant with, at the end of its 3 long thick leaves, 3 big buds of flowers, or fruits (??). They look like parts or extremities of the leaves themselves. (Maybe a tropical plant ??)

The curtain of the little window is half drawn and from there suffused golden light is shining on the plant. It is actually an amazing sight, so surreal. Like it is snowing golden powder of Light on it. It looks as if particles of gold are floating over its leaves. It feels so beautiful and peaceful . Yes, especially peaceful .

Then, close to it, I see another vase, more rectangular in shape, with a plant which instead has been cut to the very stem. Yet from the soil I can see so many new buds or stems coming out again, stronger and stronger. I look at it in a stupor. I know I am being told/shown something important. As if life that had been cut, comes back again and again, stronger and stronger. Indestructible.

I wake up with these images burnt on my retina, so vivid in my eyes .

Reflections:

The whole dream was full of good Energy and a wonderful feeling. (and by the way, so glad that this time I didn`t need to be my usual ghost-buster self 🙂 …)

First, the Crystal Song, then the 3 big buds with golden light shining on them, and then Life always re-generating itself, even if cut down. Yet, I’m still amazed at the sound of the Crystal . I could hear it so clearly, so distinctly, so real.

I have never heard anything more beautiful or powerful.

The first trill reminded me of the Water trill-sound Arjuna (a sound artist I know) makes. Arjuna’s Voice of Water. Then it became much stronger than that, and more like a one-sound symphony (which in human terms doesn`t make sense) ; and at one point my ear could not take it anymore…

I realize our ears are not ready for such pure sound yet.

And the suffused light powder, like miniscule golden flakes outpouring Love essence, this Divine feeling … a strong sense of sacred again. This has shown up so often of lately, both in my dreams and in this kind of strange experiences.

“Again, it`s happened again. As I fall asleep, I feel as if I shut my extremely heavy eyelids and fall into a tunnel of deep sleep. Then a mini-second later I re-open them and `there` I am , in this strange `atmosphere` ! It feels like gravity has become a millionth time stronger, and it is very dark around me and the air feels heavy, as if somebody is trying to hold me down, to pin me down, and the whole of me resists it and fights back. And although it takes enormous effort on my part to move even only one inch, I always seem to win this strange inexplicable battle and start moving around on my bed and in my very bedroom as if I were totally awake and conscious. Strangely enough, although at first I need all my strength to be able to move my arms and body, once I start moving, I can move and glide at extreme speed”.

These are words from my Dream Journal of some ten years ago….when I could not explain what was happening to me at night.

In my search for an explanation I started buying books on dreams and related topics in the hope of finding something similar to my own experiences.And I did indeed bump into the word OBE or Astral Projection several times, but I always dismissed it because of the associated symptoms of being paralyzed (as in Sleep Paralysis), of hearing loud noises or buzzing, of having strong vibrations all through your body, or else seeing strange visions at times demonic, ghostly etc.

I simply could not relate to any of it, since none of this had actually ever happened to me, except maybe for the demonic ghostly visions, but at that time, more than visions, they were more like energy fields kind of `fighting` me, or at least this is how I processed it at the time.

So, unfortunately, I discarded too quickly the possibility that I was having out of body experiences, and went on searching. What a waste of time, I must say. This is actually the reason why it took me five long years to find a book that made me finally realize that I needed look no further, and that what I was experiencing were indeed out of body experiences.

Until a few months ago, before joining some Astral Groups and Forums, I would have sworn that I had never experienced Sleep Paralysis before an OBE, but reading many of my fellow travelers` posts made me realize that in truth, possibly, I had. In fact, what I have just described in the very first paragraph of this article was, in all probability, exactly `it`. Or, at least, a version of it.

The fact that I had never felt paralyzed, not once, neither completely nor partially, and that I had never heard loud noises or had any vibrations/buzzing of any sort had been keeping me off-target, but now, with all my new friends` experiences to learn from, I knew better.

I could see how the darkness and the feeling of being pinned down was exactly what most people were also describing in their experiences. My own personal experience may have been a bit uncharacteristic , but at the end of the day, we were describing the same phenomenon.

The only thing that seemed to make a difference was that for some reason I was fighting it so hard that, as a result, I was always moving, if only by inches, so that I never regarded myself as in a state of paralysis at all.

I don’t know how unusual /rare it is for a newcomer, like I was ten years ago, not to have Sleep Paralysis, vibrations or sounds of any kind, yet by now I know there are many more like me.

Oh! how I would have loved to find in all those books I bought years ago at least some paragraphs dedicated to experiences like mine, that is, not totally orthodox.

This dream is one of those that I call BIG DREAMS, so it goes without saying that I had to insert it into the first book of FOAL and the Angels ` story. This dream was so very remarkable not only for the deep, deep sense of sacredness that totally overwhelmed me, but also for the incredible vividness of the colors and the accuracy of the most minute details.

Do such colors exist on Earth ?? … I wonder.

The colors and the sense of Sacred surrounding this spectacular animal, this truly Divine Being made of pure bright gold was a sight to blow your mind away.

In the dream, for some reason, I remember` knowing` that this was no superficial veneer of gold, but it was actually made all of pure solid gold, and this seemed to be important. Nonetheless, the movements were so fluid like melted gold, and yet solid. Really have no words in my arsenal to describe this, but believe me, it was an incredible vision.

Since there is little more I can add to what I already said in the book, I shall just copy that chapter here. Again let me say that even if I use the name FOAL, this is my very personal experience and exactly, to the very speck , how I saw it in the dream.

In the last paragraph I dwell a bit on my fascination with the Divine and yet my running away from it.

The beautiful painting is by Andy Boerger, who endeavored so beautifully to make it as close to my dream reality as it could be. Thank you Andy ! It`s been a blessing knowing you !

THE GOLDEN COBRA DREAM

Foal sees himself in a room sitting at a wooden table with other people .

This huge serpent,which is as big as the biggest Anaconda he could ever imagine, at least 30 yards long, is coming at him again and again, as if he has a special interest in him. The color is yellowish brown, with some faint black stripes. Although it doesn’t look as if it wants to hurt him, Foal feels scared and closes his eyes so as not to see. It is so big ! Just the head is bigger than two rugby balls put together.

As the snake approaches again from behind, Foal feels the big head resting on his neck, just under his right cheek. Foal can feel its bifurcate tongue, darting in and out and touching his skin on his cheek and neck. Somebody somewhere is saying “ It’s alright”, but he is petrified in fear.

Then the scene skips and he sees himself outside running on a big dirt trail . He is on the left side running like mad, and the huge snake is pursuing him several yards back in the middle of the path. Then, all of a sudden, for some unfathomable reason, Foal just feels compelled to stop and look back.

His heart skips a beat … what he sees takes his breath away …! he has never, ever seen anything more beautiful! The huge serpent is in the middle of the path and it is all gold, huge and GOLD !! It is all gold, pure shining gold !!!

Its cheeks are now all puffed up, rather like a Cobra, and they are reflecting the bright gold rays of the sunshine. From the nose to the puffed-up cheeks there are some dark cobalt stripes, which remind him of the golden mask of Tutankhamen .

The serpent is looking right at him, or rather, right into him. His eyes seem to bear holes into Foal`s. Foal cannot take his eyes off the snake. He stands transfixed and he has stopped running.

He can see everything, up to the smallest details. He can see the golden muscles rippling under the surface, so strong and supple in their swift bending movement, yet made of solid gold and reflecting the sunlight. He can see the golden hood completely raised and inflated, the eyes exuding and impressing sacredness. The serpent towers over Foal in all his majesty.

A KING COBRA . A GOD COBRA. Like one of those Ancient Gods. So incredibly beautiful , so sacred .

Foal woke up in an ineffable and liberating stupor.

A flood of understandings overwhelmed his mind. He needed to make sure all was down in paper, in case he forgot, so he grabbed his pen and started to write it all down in a rushed fury. And so he wrote:

“I think it’s the same theme as for the Stag dream .

I am fascinated by the Divine, but I feel so small, awed and overwhelmed by it.

After reaching out, I always try to run away, but It comes after me until I am forced to look at It, to acknowledge It.

I feel scared of such Beauty, I feel that I am not yet ready to look directly into so much Living Light…

But the Divine is not One to let us go easily and comes after us and begs us to look at It.

And as we stop to look, we discover all the Beauty and Love that has been there all along.”

After some five years of the mystifying experiences I called `physical dreams` (but now I know were actually `etheric out-of-body projections`), I found Buhlman`s and Monroe`s books and got myself some reasonable tools to deal with these inexplicable nightly occurrences.
I knew what I was dealing with now and what to say for more clarity and also what to do in order not to go back into my sleeping body, so with all this new arsenal of information, my out of body experiences took a different turn. I was not touching things as I was before in such physical way that I couldn’t believe I was asleep, and I was not so focused on dispersing negative energies around me, as a true ghost buster. Rather, I started flying and passing through walls. This was a first for me.

So this is how a new chapter in my `night-life` started !
This particular night, just before sleep and just out of nowhere, these words of Prayer took form and voice, and so I prayed : `

“I AM HERE TO MANIFEST YOU, LORD.

I NEED TO BE LOVE TO MANIFEST YOU, LORD.

MAKE ME “LOVE”.”

Now as always, let my Journal speak !

April 25, 2010 1 am.

I prayed so spontaneuosly:

“I AM HERE TO MANIFEST YOU, LORD. I NEED TO BE LOVE TO MANIFEST YOU, LORD. MAKE ME “LOVE”.”

Then as I tried to sleep, but couldn’t, I got up and went to the bathroom. Came back to bed, did the Dream Paraliminal CD, then took the earphones out.

Kind of feeling something may be happening. Had been having light vibrations since after 11.30 pm.

Now, vibrations are a new thing for me. Wonder if it is because of the influence of the OBE books. Before reading all these books, I never felt any vibrations at all, just found myself in the center of my room and sooooo out of body.

1.30 am. OBE

Again, without any vibration, I am conscious of moving out of my body, just a slight shoulder twist and up sitting on the bed.

The separation is smooth. No sounds, no strong vibrations, just OUT like that.

But after this, things are not smooth at all.

Find myself near the ceiling, but not really in control, then I fly down closer to the floor, and go around the perimeter of my room in circles, like a merry-go-round. (mmm, very funny …)

Then I am up near the ceiling again, also going round and round but feels like I don`t know well what I`m doing. (Also the very first time that this happened, several months ago, I was going around my chandelier like forever, like stupid forever!!!)

I squeeze my eyes, just as when you watch a scary movie, because I am afraid that if I see my sleeping body, I may be sucked back in. I don`t want to go back into my body, want to try some more of this.

Then I recall Buhlman`s words that I should say “Awareness now” or “Clarity now “, and I do so, but the result is not as good or as strong as I thought.

I am still in my room and struggling for control, but finally do manage to fly up again near the ceiling and joyfully start cavorting in the air for the pure pleasure of it. I love this !!! I feel like a kid!

Maybe feeling more confident, decide it is safe to open my eyes completely, and see if I can really see my sleeping body in the bed. I am still afraid I may go back into my body if I see it, but I try anyway.

At this moment I am near the ceiling just above the upper frame of my bedroom door, and from there I look down, and there I am !! wow . What can I say …

Under the covers of my bed, there is the silhouette of a body with a foot and an arm sticking out of the bedcovers. I can`t see my face though, it`s too dark and the bed is too far, and besides, the face is looking the other way.

I am thrilled that I can really see me and still be in the air, so I decide to try go downstairs. Actually I want to try say “Universe”, but don`t feel too confident in my astral navigation system ( 🙂 !), and abort this plan .

As I start to move, I remember Buhlman said I could pass through walls if I wanted, but I somehow hesitate. I am afraid of trying and not succeeding. Then kind of pull myself together and look at the wall with determination. I start by pressing my right shoulder against it and push. Then push some more. Feel some resistance at first, but then wow! I simply go through !! I am elated at this, that it is all true and that I can do it. Decide to `fly` downstairs and go to the entrance hall.

Here I am struggling to stay OBE, so I try to concentrate on out-of-body things, don’t remember well here, but I am finally able to go out of the house. Before I know it, I am in my garden and for some reason, I start going up and up at extreme speed all the while repeating (maybe afraid ??) “I love you God” over and over again.

It all feels like a blur and it`s kind of a bit vague here. Then it feels like I`m being pulled back to my body, but I am actually rather hovering just above it. I am desperately trying not to go in yet. Then I go in, but know /feel I can go out again, and so I do. For a while, I seem to be playing at going in and out, several times in a row, don’t know why, but then I wake up inside the body.

Big points :

Moving out smoothly

Not good control of flying

Flying in circles

Seeing myself from above in bed

Getting some control, happily cavorting near the ceiling (and maybe in the sky too, but it`s only a vague remembrance here)

Passing through the wall

Repeating “I love you God”

Well, not truly exhilarating as many of those OBEs stories I read about, but a new start for sure.

Different from my `physical dreams` (etheric projections) where everything is so very physical and the me in there is so super-focused and like on a true mission. In this experience, I am much more conscious of being `me`, clearly remembering all I had read in Bulhman`s and Monroe`s books.

Thinking so rationally, so logically, so …with my brain. With the exception that my brain was in the bed sleeping with me ….mmmm… so what ? we don`t need the brain to think ????? but really ?? WOW! Who is thinking then?? WHO IS THE THINKER ??

Again I don`t know if this was a dream or if I actually astral-journeyed somewhere, but it was as real as it gets ! or, if possible, more real than it gets !! and to me it couldn`t get more profound or incredible than it already is ! Before I go on, I would like to say that any remarks about the color of the skin in this article are meant simply to describe the dream as it was. I love people of every race and color, and am myself married to a man of the `yellow ( 🙂 ) race ! As for the big black guards, I guess they were `leftover images/symbols` from watching the movie Black Diamonds .

December 12, 2009 6.20 am.NO-MAN’S-LAND DREAM
I am walking in the Panama Strait (or what for some reason I believe is the Panama Strait). It feels like I am going from the Pacific Ocean side to the Atlantic Ocean side. The strait looks like the bed of a half-exsiccated river.
I am flying above it. I can see big ships, black metallic ships, going through either the few little patches of water left or through the patches of dry sand.
In the dry patches the black ships have to be pulled by many iron wires attached to some kind of machine.
As I look at this from above, I wonder why they would try to cross here through this big dried up country rather than going around South America.
And I hear the answer in my head, somebody telling me that even in spite of these difficulties, it is shorter than going around the continent.
I am walking now in the center of this dried-up canal, which looks more like a wide sandy dirt road, and really looks more and more like an African landscape to me.

Anyway I walk and walk and then I arrive at this check post, where there are militaries, big black African-looking guys in kaki Bermuda-pants with big guns. Very much like the big black military guys in the movie Black Diamonds that I had just seen (this may have influenced this image). They look pretty mean and dangerous.

A few meters beyond the check post there is a pretty wide intersection of dirt roads.
I see an old truck 30-40 meters in front of me, and as I look on, it starts to head off. As I go on walking in the same direction, I notice a ‘plump’ eggplant, really beautiful and so purple and all shiny, in front of my feet, and then another and another, in a straight line, some 2 feet apart.
I realize they are falling from the truck. All those beautiful purple eggplants were left one by one right in front of my path, like big ripe fruits to follow.

I start picking a few up and have my hands full, when I see some soldiers go after that truck. They stop the truck and forcefully take the driver away, like a prisoner or as if he has to be punished . For what ? just for having dropped some eggplants?? I am puzzled.
He is also an African-looking black guy, but not as big as the others, and not mean looking. Here for the first time I have this feeling that he had dropped the eggplants on purpose and for my sake.
They are rough with him and the man looks scared.

Seeing this, I reason that to avoid problems with the mean militaries I’d better leave the eggplants where they were. So I drop them.
I see these soldiers tie some thick rope 2-3 times around this man’s torso and hang him by it off a big single tree that was standing in a small yard-like clearing. They start swinging him. The man is pleading; don’t know exactly what they are doing to him.

Then I walk back towards the military check-post. I need some indications, so I go there.
One black soldier is sitting on a wooden chair outside of the ‘police station’ and looks bored and sullen.
I wonder whether there is anybody who speaks English there, so I approach him tentatively saying “English…? English ??”
The man grunts something like Yes and another man comes out of the small wooden hut that was the post. They do look big and threatening, big black surly muscled guys and heavily armed .

I explain the best I can and in a very explicit manner that I need to go through this canal, because I have to get to the other side of the continent, and that I need directions and a guide.
They seem to listen to what I say but in a grudging way. Yet it feels like for some reason they have to oblige me. So I turn around, point at the man dangling from the tree who was being further tortured, and very deliberately say (and gosh, I am so lucid and conscious of what I want here):
” And I would like that man to be my Guide, to take me on the journey.”

Don’t know why I seem to be in this position to just so very casually ask for things and to have to be obliged.
Still the feeling is I somehow know they cannot refuse me, and it is uncanny indeed to see little me talk so brazenly to these big black mean giants with annoyed faces, and make extreme requests as if it was no big deal.

I go near the tree and look up at this man, who has now curled his legs up in fear, still dangling from the tree.
There is now another big black man under the tree but he is not a military. He is dressed in a rough-fabric long draping garment or robe like a long tunic, maybe a priest or a religious figure, but I perceive a rather slimy vicious energy there.
He is holding a pair of tiny, very tiny blue plastic scissors and has a sneer on his face. Actually, and can’t explain why, I know he is going to cut the dangling man`s testicles.
Funny thing again, I go there and confront him as if I were in all my rights and tell him very decisively that he has to stop, and I say very, very clearly:`This man is now with me, he comes with me to show me on.` As if this was enough to let him go free …
The priest-like figure doesn’t look a bit happy about this, but again it seems he has to comply.
The ‘swinging’ man from the tree looks at me with unbelieving eyes, like he couldn’t believe what was happening,

Then can`t remember why but I am back at the check post and am speaking to the military again, explaining something about my situation again, that I am traveling from one ocean to the other and must cross the continent, but it is a bit blurry here. As I speak though, I turn slightly around and literally stop dead in my track.

Mamma is there, a few meters away from me. I can see her from the side. She is walking straight on at a fast pace, completely focused like looking for something.
For a few seconds I stand still and mute, completely speechless, I can’t believe it.
Then I shout “Mamma, Mamma!” and start running towards her.
She turns around and says “Lory, Lory” and we hug and hug.

This is a very emotional moment, so real, so warm.
We hug, we embrace, we stroke each other’s back, I hold her so close and caress her back, saying “Mamma, Mamma” over and over again.
I can feel everything, she is so real, so tangible, palpable, it’s amazing.
I touch her, and pat her, all the time very lucidly thinking `How is it possible ? She is dead.` ( I was so conscious while in there, so incredibly `thinking` ! )
And to make sure she is really her and alive, I even pinch her gently on the sides. And I can feel her flesh, real warm flesh … my mind screams inside my head `But she is dead!`… for a tiny instant I feel totally overwhelmed by the absurdity of this experience. But then Love floods all over me again, and all the rest feels so irrelevant .

I ask her then if Papa’ is there too, and she says:
”Si’, c’e’ anche Papa’, e’ rimasto piu’ indietro, sta arrivando .”
(“Yes, Papa’ is here too, he is a bit behind, but he is coming.”) And this is so like her, she was always the quick one, the one going first.

And as I look back at this dirt street, the one she had been coming from, I see that there are many other people also coming from that direction.
But they look stranded with this strange look in their eyes, not knowing where they are or where to go, and their clothes are worn off.
I think they were all Caucasian-looking (or `mixed`), not black as the guards.
But Papa’ is not among them. And I must say I feel relieved at this. It didn’t look like a nice group to be part of. And I wouldn’t have liked to see him among them.

Then we must have decided to start preparing for the next leg of the journey.
The feeling here is that now we go together.
I am standing in front of this narrow wooden table.
On the table there is a cardboard box and I am filling it with the eggplants of before, maitake mushrooms and then also oranges, mandarins and other fruits, all so beautifully ‘plump’, truly beautiful almost shiny fruits. I am packing all the provisions I think we may need in our journey.

I have almost filled it up to the top, when a big tall black soldier comes near me and looks in with suspicious eyes.
I turn to him very nonchalantly and explain everything, how it is all right, that I am allowed to be here, that all has been cleared etc. etc.
He looks sullen, but doesn’t say anything, and just stands there looking.

Mamma must be somewhere near, I think.
I know that I am waiting for Papa’ to arrive and start our journey together.
All of a sudden and so unexpectedly a very surprising thing happens.
I hear a man’s voice, as the voice of a narrator at the end of some TV drama episode, a voice talking from somewhere above me and saying :

“AND HERE THE EXPLOSION OCCURRED.”

Like the last scene promising me another episode …
And I woke up.
God, I certainly didn’t want to wake up.

Reflections

What a dream … again I am immersed in `THAT` world so completely . Totally.
Now, after waking up, I keep going back there with my mind.
Mom and Dad were desperately looking for me.
Was I in such precarious condition??
Was I in more danger than I thought ? … Because I had been trying to reach to the `Other Side`?? But I didn’t feel in real danger. It may have felt somewhat risky at times, but it also felt like for some reason I had a right to be there, and that was why the guards could not refuse me or my requests. I have no idea why that would be so, though.

Was this the place in between the two big waters, the two big oceans, the interconnecting canal from this life to the other, to the Other Side ??
In this respect it would make sense that Mamma and Papa’ could walk those ‘streets’. They passed away years ago, Dad in 1994 and Mom in 2006.

And all those “stranded-looking-people”, are they the Lost Souls who do not know how to get through ???
And then the Guide … actually I don’t know what happened of the ‘swinging-from-the-tree-man’ that was supposed to guide me.
Don’t remember seeing him again. But anyway the dream stopped half-way. Yet, why did I have to go and save my own Guide ?? I thought Guides were supposed to save us …
At first I thought the driver of the truck had been caught because he had negligently dropped the eggplants, but, most probably, he was just showing me the way and got punished because of this. Something, I assume, that must have been out of their rules, something not allowed there maybe.

And the `explosion`… mmm, this is intriguing. In other occasions too, either in dreams or other astral experiences, it has happened that when I hear an explosion, there is a change of dimensions. And since I woke up right at that moment, that would make sense. From `their` dimension I came back to my `awake` dimension.
And I can’t help being reminded of the words I heard years ago. I was sleeping very very deeply, but somehow I knew I was going to wake up. And here is when I heard somebody saying in a very strong, clear voice:

“THEY TOOK A SECOND AND SPLIT IT INTO A NANO-SECOND, AND IN THE EXPLOSION THE IMAGE OF OTHER UNIVERSE (S) REVERSE (S).”
It was a man`s voice, such a strong self-assured voice, like a statement or a declaration.
I have little scientific background, so these messages (it was not the first) are just beyond the stretch of my knowledge or intelligence. Maybe a physicist would know the meaning of this…..
( and, by the way, who are ‘They’ ??)

Feelings:
Unhappy to wake up, but so very happy to have really touched and hugged Mamma, so PHYSICALLY, so emotionally, so ‘REALLY’.
Can only pray for the next episode to be shown to me ….

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Researchers at Nottingham Trent University are conducting research on the content of Out-of-Body Experiences (OBEs) using an online survey until 9th November 2014 (23:50 GMT). If you have had one or more OBEs follow the link below to the project webpage where the survey can be accessed, thanks –
http://www.obesurvey.webspace.virginmedia.com/surveypage.html