observations and reflections of everyday life

Lying Dormant Under the Layers of Self-Doubt are the Seeds of Our True Beauty

Tuesday was a strange day. I started the morning with a plan of action in mind, one which quickly unraveled.

The plan included taking my youngest son to the train station for his morning commute to Drexel, it did not include a phone call, “Mom I forgot my wallet at home.”

No wallet = no train ticket = an unplanned drive into Philly.

Although the unexpected trip disrupted my plans it also presented an opportunity to spend some time listening to music and chatting with my son, which for me is always a treat. He’s always introducing me to music that I enjoy and never would have found on my own and we both enjoy talking about weird things.

He often surprises me with food for thought and yesterday was no exception.

“Mom, I saw a proverb this morning that I think you would really like,” he said.

“Oh yeah, what is it?”

“Well, the quote says it’s a Mexican proverb but I’m not really sure about that, but the saying is this: They tried to bury us. They didn’t know we were seeds.”

Wow

That immediately conjured up an image in my mind, one that I carried with me throughout the rest of the day and into the night. What I saw in my mind had to do with overcoming the power of self-doubt and flourishing as an individual.

Unsure about how to draw what I felt, I turned to my writing journal instead. After three pages of writing, reflecting, and thinking, a full grown tree and flowers in bloom accompanied by the words my son had shared with me emerged in a rough form on 4th page. (sometimes my pen does take on a mind of its own)

Of all the ironies, I misspelled one of the words. I crossed it out, wrote it correctly, and kept on drawing. Truth to be told, when I first started journaling I never considered drawing in it and I couldn’t complete an entry if I misspelled something. Rather than crossing out the word and continuing on I ripped out the page and started over.

Over the past few years I’ve learned that perfectionism is the enemy of creativity and self-doubt is the fuel for limitation. I’ve come to believe that no one limits our growth more than we do ourselves.

I chose to share this entry, not because it’s a beautiful drawing but because I hope it illustrates a point.

No one is perfect and we all have doubts, we just owe it to ourselves to not let feelings of self-doubt keep us from becoming who we are meant to be.