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Wednesday, May 9, 2012

On priorities...

(from a few weeks ago...)

Today, I was blessed to attend a very big event at work with
six or so of my co-workers.The event
was suit and tie.There were 500
people.The food was catered – there were
FOUR CHOCOLATE FOUNTAINS – there were presidents – there were CEOs of companies
floating around - there were huge powerpoint presentations – and the words ‘synergy’ and 'holistic'… you get the point.After
about one hour of presentations, I looked to my left and to my right and I
realized “Crap – I am the youngest person in this room of 500 people.”I felt totally overwhelmed and thought “Why
am I here?”

To make things more intense, I was seated next to my
boss. I will call him “Boss Dude.” Okay,
I was not seated next to just any boss…
I was seated next to an “Executive Vice President” who has enough power
to crush my life and my career. Seriously,
this guy manages thousands of people and has enough sway to do just about
anything he wants. Boss dude flew in
from some big city just to attend this event and meet my co-workers. I was excited, flattered, and nervous about
sitting next to this bro-ham.

A few speakers did their thing, and then it was time for a
break. The first thing “Boss dude” did
was get up and walk away from our table.
Everyone else at the table did what people do and have a discussion, but
boss man made it clear he could care less about having discussions with his
employees. Then, when Boss Dude came
back he was… miserable. He talked about
how many meetings he had, he talked about how he missed his family, he talked
about how he was just ….. BLAH. Every
time someone at the table spoke he brought the conversation back to himself and
then said something negative. I kept
trying to be witty, another worker kept trying to be witty, we were all trying
to be positive and nice. However, this
Boss Dude must have been having a bad year, because he had the ability to suck
ALL of the joy right out of the room.

As of right now, I feel bad for the Boss Dude. From what he told me directly, he travels
quite a lot, sees his family very little, and has a high stress job. From all that I gather – he is
miserable. From what I deduce – he does
not even see how miserable he is. What fascinates me about the Boss Dude is
that every other person around me seemed to idolize him – or at least his
title. They did not seem to enjoy his
presence, but they listening to him ramble on about how miserable he is. I
hope that Boss Dude is happy. I am sure
he is a nice guy with a lot going on.
However, he is just missing the point of it all. He does not seem to know what his priorities
are and that they are in conflict.

After about an hour of listening to captain negative’s miserable
ramblings - I became overwhelmed with happiness. I was overwhelmed for three reasons: 1) I
realized that I may not have the power this man has or his stature. However, I am incredibly happy. He has worked hard. He is accomplished. But he is miserable – so what is the
point? 2) I realized that although Boss Man could crush
my career, he has no power over me other than what I give to him. I felt like others at the table kissed his
butt a little bit and let him be a jerk.
Being me – I did not do that. He
was complaining for a while so I asked him, “Do you even like your job?” I did not care if my question hurt or helped
my career, because at that point we were just two humans having a
conversation. My question stopped him in
his tracks. He did not even know if he
was happy. 3) I was on a track to have a
miserable life. I could be rich – or at
least wealthy. I could have had stature
and power over people and a big house on a hill. I could be stuck in a job where my co-workers
are judgmental and unaccepting of who I am.
However, I left that life behind me.
I realized that life was not what I wanted, and trying to attain that
life was slowly killing me. I had the
power to realize I was unhappy – and I changed it.

There are so many things that make up a life. You have work, family, church, hobbies, kids,
goals, the dog, travel, vacation, meetings, the bills, money, your pride… you
have so many things. Trying to align
these things carefully to maintain happiness can be quite a difficult task. I
was happy I was invited to the event, but the table at which I was seated was
filled with misery and discontent. So
you know what I did? I left at the
break. Yeah, that is right. I could have stayed and let Boss Dude suck
the soul from my body. But I left. I then called my boyfriend to tell him about
the event - that I love him - that I miss him - and that I am so happy to see
him tonight. I imagine that if I stayed
I would have brought home anger and misery.
I do not want that. I know what my priorities are. Although
I do struggle to keep those in line, I feel like leaving the event today
was a reminder of how I am the only person to control my priorities.

If you are in a room full of 500 people and you cannot
look around and be amazed – you do not get it.
I was amazed at the chocolate fountain; while the Dude Boss would not
get up from his table (I know, right!). If
you are traveling all of the time when all you want to do is see your family –
you do not get it. I am not saying
travel is good or bad, or family is better, or that I know what the formula to
life is for every person. What I am
saying is that if your priorities are in conflict, it will often lead to discontent.

Today, I was easily the youngest person in the room. However, as I sit here typing I really
believe that the Boss Dude (and a few other people in the room) could stand to
look around and ask themselves…. “Why am I here?” and more importantly... "Is there somewhere else I want to be?"

1 comment:

I love your self-awareness and priorities. I've seen how much you have grown and rearranged them. It's awesome, like you. I always wonder why everyone is so afraid of Boss Dudes like you said they are just human.