Irrationally pissed at Fisher-Price

While doing some research into music box mechanisms earlier today (holy cow, you can get a 30-note chromatic paper-roll music box mechanism for $60-ish now? Last time I looked, something like that cost over $500) I was reminded of the Fisher-Price “record player” music box I had as a kid. Cam had one too, and hers is here, so I got it down to check it out. It’s a great little toy, and completely mechanical: you wind a knob on the front to compress a spring that powers the turntable, and the music is encoded in bumps on the record which trigger a music box in the “needle” area of the tone arm. The whole case acts as a resonator for the music box, so you get a surprising amount of sound out of it. And the thing is bomb-proof. Cam’s is probably around 35 years old, and it works just fine. A little buzzy maybe, but completely usable. You can find more information at ThisOldToy.com, and there are usually a few available for sale on eBay if you want one of your own.

So, I was looking around to see if they still made these, because the mechanism’s really neat, and it looks eminently hackable with your own custom-made records — Cam proposed Still Alive as a good music box tune, and I bet she’s right; with that toy piano already in the original, I think it’s a natural. Anyway, it turns out that while Fisher-Price hadn’t made the record player music box since the early 90s, they just recently started selling a “re-issue”:

The Fisher Price Change-A-Record Music Box, more commonly known as the Fisher Price Record Player, is a favorite among those who played with it as a child. Originally introduced in 1971, this endearing classic is now available again. Complete with “playable” records that store conveniently inside the record player and a carrying handle for tunes on the go Features 10 songs on 5 records.

That’s great, I thought, I’ll pick one up for my nephew. Except that Fisher-Price is lying about what they’re selling. They aren’t selling “this endearing classic” at all.

This is a classic Fisher-Price Record Player Music Box:

It’s hard to tell, because it’s a small image, but those records have 10 grooves each (with bumps on both sides of each groove making 20 playable notes). That, in fact, is the image that illustrates the Amazon listing. And it’s the image that’s on the back of the box of the new version:

But take a look at what’s on the front of the box, and what’s inside:

“Requires 3 AA alkaline batteries, not included.” And where are the bumps on the record which trigger the tines of the music box? What’s with the weird groove spacing? What the hell? A review explains the change::

Evidently someone realized that it was far less expensive to use a 25 cent memory chip and a speaker instead of all those mechanical parts (sturdy though they were), so the new player works as follows:

The record head has four pressable buttons which line up with four ridge positions on the discs

Each disc no longer has “bumps” for notes, but instead simply has a combination of four continuous ridges

The memory chip identifies which disc is being played by the ridges depressing the buttons

The wind-up still turns the disc manually, but all it does is tell the speaker to play while turning.

This is, in a word, bullshit.

This isn’t a music box at all. It’s a cheap plastic mp3 player with a toddler-friendly interface and an extremely limited library. It’s shaped like the classic toy they’re passing it off as, but it has none of the charm or educational value of the original (well, ok, the physical appearance of the player is still kind of charming). With the original, a reasonably bright kid could be curious about how the thing worked, and by careful examination figure out that the bumps on the record corresponded to the notes being played. You could even make your own noise by running your finger under the “needle” and pulling on the read head. Cam and I both had this experience, and we both remember loving our record player. This new thing, though… it doesn’t even work very well, according to reviewers who complain about it just failing to spin, or failing to play music despite fresh batteries and a spinning record.

One reviewer claims Fisher-Price had to do this in order to bring the toy up to modern safety standards, which is a joke. I bet it’s more dangerous now that it has batteries, which can leak acid or (depending on the design) accidentally be knocked free of their compartment and swallowed. And look at that — the Amazon listing has a big safety warning: “WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD — Small parts. Not for children under 3 yrs.” Not for children under 3 years old? The box claims it’s for 18 months and up. And the original would be safe for anyone.

I can’t quite explain why this makes me so mad. It’s not just that I hate change, or even that I hate change in things about which I am nostalgic (although I will never recognize Elmo as a real resident of Sesame Street). I think it’s that it seems like such a cynical marketing ploy. The people who had these things as kids now have kids the age they were then. They obviously still have the production materials for these, or if not, they care enough to make a convincing replica. I’m sure there’s a company they could have sourced the music box mechanism from, if they couldn’t make it themselves any more. But instead they’re selling us yet another landfill-bound piece of plastic crap, under the guise of selling us the ability to give our kids an experience we had ourselves. I don’t even have kids, and it offends me.

About the Music Box, you can get one for even cheaper than $30 over at Think Geek —http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/science/8f7f/
— but it’s only 15 notes and it sounds, to be honest, kinda crummy. But if you want to play around with it it’s cheap.

Yeah, Prairie and I discovered this not long ago when we found the new version of the record player on the shelves at Target, along with a few other reissued version of classic Fisher-Price toys. Didn’t figure out the change until we gave it to her niece. I wasn’t quite as upset as you, but I was certainly disappointed. I’m sure her niece will enjoy this version, but the electronic trickery just isn’t the same as the original music-box. A shame someone decided that this was a good idea.

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I too recently rediscovered my FP record player; my 15 month old is enjoying it some 35 years after I did. Reading your post, I think I am going to take better care of it. The cheap digital versions are so not going to last 35 years.

Oh, WAY TO GO!! My dgtr-in-law just saw this “record player” in a store and excitedly put it on her 18-month-old’s Christmas list, telling me SHE had one and it was such fun, and so durable. Fortunately I read amazon’s reviews before buying it. I too am mad. Fisher Price is marketing this – and their other “reissues” – to parents/ grandparents on the basis of nostalgia, then selling us more battery-operated crap. Our grandkids come to our house and head for the REAL Fisher Price toys – the oldies but goodies where you can actually use your imagination. And they still work.

The Fisher Price Change-A-Record Music Box, more commonly known as the Fisher Price Record Player, is a favorite among those who played with it as a child. Originally introduced in 1971, this endearing classic is now available again. Complete with “playable” records that store conveniently inside the record player and a carrying handle for tunes on the go Features 10 songs on 5 records.
–best one i have seen..

Yes I am extremely perturbed too!! Here is a letter I sent the FP company:

“Hi. I just wanted to say that I am very disappointed with the “Classic” FP Record Player that my parents bought my son for his birthday. I had one growing up in the 80s and it was my favourite childhood toy! When my mom saw this “classic” in-store she couldn’t resist picking it up, remembering the enjoyment I got from mine. I too was excited! Unfortunately it didn’t take me long to see the major differences in the new version of this record player compared to the old one. Batteries?! No notches on the records?? This is nothing like the old one, only in appearance. Quality is also lacking. The record player often makes mistakes when you put on a record and starts playing the wrong song, only to switch after a few seconds.

I’m very disappointed! I’m now scouting out a vintage FP record player so I can switch his new one out for the one I truly loved. It was a poor decision of the FP company to re-release these “classics” as shoddy knock-offs. For my son’s last birthday my parents bought him the FP garage/ramp… we were also disappointed with the quality. The ramp doesn’t line up as the plastic sections barely fit together. Needless to say the cars going down the ramp often don’t reach the bottom. Another childhood classic toy ruined by cheap manufacturing.

While I think $40 is not a cheap price to pay for a cheap electronic device (record player) I for one am a consumer who is willing to pay for toys that actually stand up to child’s play! I see now that the Fisher Price company is more interested in planned obsolescence than giving the customer a quality product.

Fool me twice, shame on you and me. I promise there won’t be a third.”

I totally agree with “Irrationally pissed”. I am just pissed off!, The new Fisher Price(so called ‘classic’)record player is neither classic nor a record player. I am disappointed and feel let down by Fisher Price. I ordered one from Selfridges thinking that windup (in the description) meant windup,not windup AND needing batteries. I now have to return it as it is NOT as it seemed nor what I wanted.

Why don’t Fisher Price make it as it used to be – it worked then – why not now?The batteries should not be required.

Kudos to all of you for recognizing and applauding the awesomeness of the original toy. Shame on Fisher Price for diluting its brand equity by “reissuing” a toy that bears hardly any resemblance to its mechanical, non-battery-operated namesake.

We were given one as a gift for our 2 year old, and I noticed it wasn’t like the one I had as a kid… But we were open minded and thought, since it’s been 30 years, we should expect some differences… The issue we have is that the records (all of them) will only play on one side! Is this an issue others have been having as well? Any solutions? I guess we could just return it… or we can send it back to Fisher-Price… maybe that would be the better solution, and then they would be aware that this seems to be a problem.

We live in the computer age and NOT the dark ages anymore. Wind up music boxes are definitely passe and are problematic. The sharp steel tines on a music box comb can cause injuries if mishandled (I remember this happening to a child in my kindergarten class back in the early ’70s. There was one of those music box “record players” that was available during playtime. This kid was fiddling with the “tone arm” and was plucking the times with gusto until he began to bleed!) Today we have safety standards which prohibit toys to have exposed sharp or pointy edges. Children today would rather listen to a real song, made with real instruments, than some tinny, tinkly, wind up music box.

This is funny: the reissue still has a wind-up knob, but this really serves no purpose. The thing is that the wind-up knob felt like it had a real spring inside. It makes that same click-click ratchet sound when you wind it. So I open mine up to see what made it work. Inside the record player is the entire mechanism of a wind-up music box! Rather than make something custom they just sources a bunch of ready-made wind-up music boxes just for the wind-up effect. The music box was only missing the comb (the part that makes the sounds when the tines are plucked). The melody drum was still in place. I have a bunch of music boxes, so I took the comb off of one and installed it on the FisherPrice record player wind-up knob and it played a tune. I did not recognize the melody, but music box combs often only work with a specific melody drum. Swapping the combs is like transposing some notes in a score, but not others. It still sounds musical, but it totally distorts the melody.

So, I had fun with my New Fisher Price record player, but not in the way intended.

I agree with all of you. We were given money to buy this music box, so we went to the most prestigious toy store in Oslo and got this thing. I was curiously scheptical about the batteries required tag, but thought what the heck. Took it home to find this fact…
My curiosity is what makes this toy so fun! You are supposed to be amazed and interested in the mechanics of a thing, fueling the children’s desire to lean and explore. That’s what good toys are made to do. Not to play a song. That’s just the by-product. Anyway, I’m returning this modern toy and buying a 35year old one from eBay. (Costs almost the same.)