If you don’t believe me, count the number of storage facilities in your zip code. We own so much stuff that an entire industry has mushroomed up around housing all of our crap, all of the stuff that has grown beyond the boundaries of our own homes.

Do we need it?

Is it necessary?

Probably not.

While talking to someone near and dear to me the other day about the amount of stuff we all have, she said she always asks herself the following questions when considering adding to her possessions:

Do I need this?

Will I use it?

Do I have to have it now?

Can I do without it?

Mindblown.

Because I generally suck at this and want to buy every shiny new object I see in the Brookstone catalogue, I am challenging myself to ask these questions before the next time I reach for my wallet. Because in this culture of conspicuous consumption, even being aware of these questions can help us be mindful about the choices we make, the trinkets we purchase, and the cubic inches we fill with our American Dream detritus.

If we ask ourselves these questions, and put them into practice, we will not only save some Dead Presidents, but we may also just create just a little more space in our lives for the things that really matter.

After last weekend’s Women’s March, someone very close to me said, “Wow. That was the coolest thing I’ve ever done.”

And I wondered exactly why this person, who I know has had many exciting, meaningful, diverse, and powerful experiences in her life, would think this was the coolest thing she’d ever done?

I know it was historical. I realize it was powerful. I understand that it was probably very emotional and personally significant to her in a way that I probably cannot understand because I’m not a woman.

But I’m betting there was also another reason. . .

I’m guessing one of the reasons last Saturday’s march was the coolest thing she’d ever done is because she had chosen to act intentionally, to act with purpose, to act in accordance with inner values and core philosophies that were in keeping with the authenticity of who she was.

Acting intentionally and with purpose increases the meaning, significance, and power of our lives because we know there is a reason we are making the choices we’re making. There is a cause we are supporting or an endgame we’re after.

It's something teachers do all the time. And yet often, not enough. Or at least, not in the right way.

When we act with intention, we are focused. We are tuned in. Our actions and behavior are not random or serendipitous, but rather are “about” something.

So even if you don’t march in the streets with thousands of others, you can still stop and ask yourself:

How can I act intentionally with my health?

How can I act intentionally with my teaching practice?

How can I act intentionally with my spouse or my children?

How can I behave in a way that clarifies my focus and how can I make choices that are based on my intuition, core values, and belief systems?

How can I decide to do something right now that will take me where I want to go and either improve my life, the lives of my family or students, or even the lives of those around me?

Don’t let life simply happen. Choose a reason for doing what you're doing.

Decide what your intention is for the significant things that you do and the important moments in your day, then act on them.And if you're not careful, you may decide that it's one of the coolest things you’ve ever done. TZT

When I looked up, I realized my family members were assembled in the kitchen, staring at me.

They were staring at me because they were well-acquainted with my 2017 commitment to decluttering.

“Yes,” I said, clearing my throat and screwing up my courage. “I threw it away. We have a new knife set and the paring knife was from the old one. I didn’t think we needed it.”

Silence.

“We did.”

***

I’ll spare you the details of the conversation that ensued, but I wanted to share the solution with you—which, as it turns out, was an excellent idea that came from my youngest daughter.

She said, “Why don’t we get one of those big, clear bins from Target and set it in the corner of the room and throughout the week each of us can put stuff in that we think we don’t need or want anymore and then once a week we can all go through it and empty the box, either by throwing the stuff away, dumping it in a pile for a garage sale, or putting it back where we got it from if someone still wants to keep it. That way we don’t get rid of anything that someone else wants to keep.”

Before you can say Minimalism, she and I were in the mini-van on our way to Target, where we bought a clear, white bin that is now sitting in the corner of our living room and already has stuff in it. Naturally, the goal would be to declutter so much that, eventually, we get rid of the bin as well! But until then, no one will feel like his or her possessions will be thrown away without permission and/or approval. And we've agreed that every Sunday, we will all meet and take some time to go through the box. This Sunday will be our first attempt at this new household decluttering ritual, all because of a $12 bin from Target.

And you know what else I got while we were at Target?

Yup.

A new paring knife.* TZT

*This is actually a very important point when it comes to decluttering. There WILL be times you get rid of stuff and go for it later. But I promise you that, much like the paring knife, there is very little that cannot be immediately and inexpensively replaced. But checking with family members is a good way to avoid trashing sentimental or irreplaceable items. But if a paring knife brings back particularly emotional memories, perhaps you have more pressing issues than decluttering. :)

Sometimes it only takes two minutes to create a ritual that will increase your sense of focus, simplicity, and tranquility.

That "Little* Ritual" can be at the beginning of your day, in the middle of your day, or at the end of the day.

Totally doesn't matter when it happens.

Matters not when you take it.

But take it.

Because Little Rituals are the building blocks of Intention and Radical Self-care and before you know it, insisting on Little Rituals will create bigger rituals that create a better you.

But don't take MY word for it.

Watch the video*

Then try it yourself.

Then let me know how it works. TZT

* I know I said "small rituals" in the video, but I like the title "Little Rituals" better. :)

**It is actually LESS than 2-minute Zen. The video clocks in at about 1:50. Surely, you can carve out 1:50, no matter busy you are. Read four less Troll-scribed comments after that MSNBC or Fox News article and there you have it!

I was fortunate enough this summer to bring The Zen Teacher message to teachers around the country and I guarantee you that during these workshops, I learned as much or more than the teachers I was there to serve.

This workshop was especially meaningful to me because I was hired by Jane Schaffer, renowned educator and originator of The Jane Schaffer Writing Program. She was my friend as well as my mentor. I always say that Jane took an inexperienced and scattered newbie, and turned him into a teacher. Since Jane’s retirement, Dr. Deborah Louis has been continuing Jane’s awesome work and was kind enough to ask me to share my message with her handful of elite trainers at their yearly retreat. Not only was I lucky enough to give a workshop in a beachfront private residence in Ventura County, California, but the camaraderie was such that we all joined in on a few a capella choruses of America’s “Ventura Highway,” which was winding itself through that part of California just minutes from the event. It was also during this workshop that I improvised the line “Intuition Never Screams,” which not only eventually became a blog post you can read here, but is now a critical part of the Zen Teacher workshop.

THE LEARNING CENTER OF NORTH TEXAS(August 10th, Dallas/Fort Worth)

I’m not a traveler, but I’m learning. So to fly to Texas was a life experience for me and wouldn’t have been possible unless Brenda Cavin Grizzle and Lloyd Day of The Learning Center of North Texas hadn’t had such amazing faith in me and the Zen Teacher message. One thing I learned during my experience reminding Texas teachers about the importance of Self-Care as they readied themselves for a brand new school year was that there is, in fact, enough content and activities to do a three-hour workshop. It was also the first time I focused exclusively on teaching my newly developed, 7-Step Blueprint for creating Focus, Simplicity, and Tranquility in the classroom.

THE LEARNING COMMUNITY CHARTER SCHOOL KEYNOTE ADDRESS(August 30, 2016)

It was in New Jersey in 2015 that I gave the first Zen Teacher workshop at the EdScape 2015 conference and realized I had underestimated the need for self-care for teachers. So it was so rewarding that this was also the destination for my very first keynote address to a group of New Jersey educators who were also preparing themselves to re-enter the classroom for the 2016-2017 school year. The venue was beautiful, the people were exceptionally friendly and receptive, and I was humbled to be able to be the keynote speaker for a large number of the local charter schools represented at this event. My sincere thanks go to Colin Hogan for his great kindness and faith. I was also able to sneak into New York City for a few hours and spent some time in Greenwich Village and visited a little venue called The Bitter End, where many of my favorite folk, rock, and comedy artists from the 60s began their careers**, just as I began a new phase of my career on this same coast almost a year ago.

*

One common thread I noticed throughout these three workshops was that each of the organizers in charge were, in fact, visionary educational leaders who recognized the need to take care of teachers and to value their health and well-being. Imagine if EVERY state, district, site, and admin team felt the same.

What would education, learning, and our students’ endgame look like then? TZT

If you are interested in a Zen Teacher workshop or keynote address for your site or event, please contact Shelley Burgess for my rates at daveburgessconsulting@gmail.com. I am also available to create videos for your school events, host Google Hangouts or Skype sessions, or share content and activities through various other methods. Just ask!

*And yes, that is the same blazer in all the pictures. (I figure if it worked for Steve Jobs. . . )

As we move toward the end of the school year, the need for intentional and radical self-care becomes even more critical as our professional obligations and responsibilities increase and the calendar opportunities for fun and downtime dwindle.

But that’s why I’m here: to remind you to take care of YOU.

Recently, I saw the meme pictured above* on Facebook and I thought it was an idea that my fellow Zen Teachers should hear about and learn to embrace. So I want to spend some time here sharing why I think you should have a date with yourself just as soon as you can manage it. A recent edition of Brainpickings.com, discusses psychoanalyst Adam Phillips' idea of “fertile solitude” and Brainpickings.com says it is “absolutely essential not only for our creativity but for the basic fabric of our happiness — without time and space unburdened from external input and social strain, we’d be unable to fully inhabit our interior life. . .”

All true. Plus, it's fun.

So if you take the leap and make a date with yourself, here are 6 suggestions about how to have an awesome time taking care of yourself and discovering the beauty of “fertile solitude.”:

1. Clear your schedule and turn off your phone. First of all, no one is going to give you time fora date with yourself, so you’ll have to schedule it yourself. Be brave enough and strong enoughto lift the pen to your kitchen calendar and mark it in. Then, at the appointed time, leave your ball and chain (read: cell phone, Blackberry--are they even a thing anymore?--, iPad, or other personal deviceturned off and shoved in a drawer). Recently, writer Elizabeth Gilbert posted on her Facebookpage that she was going to do a “digital sabbath,” and spend the weekend unplugged, and I thought this was a marvelous idea.

2. Take a bath or shower and think only about great it feels. Bubble bath? Essential oils? Foo-foo lotion on your skin.? All of it can be such an amazingly mindful experience, for both women AND men.Being mindful during a bath or shower can be incredibly invigorating and rejuvenating. In fact, I wrote anentire chapter for The Zen Teacher about the sensuality of a mindful shower, but wiser minds prevailedand I was asked to cut it so that the publisher didn’t get slapped with an NC-17 rating. Nevertheless,consider being mindfully present and luxuriating during your next bath or shower and you’ll definitelyunderstand the benefits of this approach.

3. Change into your coziest pajamas. It took most of my life before I realized that I don’t have totolerate clothes that are not comfortable. I’ve had itchy shirts, baggy pants, saggy socks, andpinchy shoes. No more. Now I wear loafers most everywhere I go because they’re like slippers,blue jeans are like a second skin to me, and I slip into my pajamas whenever I can, and havinga date with oneself is the perfect time to wear comfortable clothes. In truth, I’m probably only ahalf-step away from pants with elastic waistbands and sandals with black socks, but who cares?

4. Cook up your very favorite treat. If you read this blog regularly, it’s no secret that my favorite treat is hot, buttered popcorn in a big bowl, usually accompanied by a rom-com or documentary on Netflix or some Joe Cocker from my Classic Rock playlist on my phone or boombox. But for you, of course, it can be anything: Rice Krispie treats, cupcakes, oatmeal raisin cookies, a lemon meringue pie, or raspberry turnovers. The key is return over and over again to your favorites. Your date with yourself should pamper all of your senses, including your culinary ones.

5. Make a list of what you love about yourself, and what you’d love to achieve. Some of us dothe second part, but almost NONE of us do the first part. Your date with yourself is a time tocelebrate YOU. If you were on a date with a significant other and wanted to score some points,you would almost certainly spend some of that time signing his or her praises. No different here.Extend that kindness to your current date (that’s YOU!) and show that date some sugar.

6. Celebrate the things you already are, and make the plans to turn the rest into reality. Wow, TWO suggestions to honor and compliment ourselves. I’m sure you’re all like, “Slowdown, Turbo!”, but we do it so infrequently that perhaps we NEED two nudges to really make it happen.Being alone and celebrating ourselves are often two things that couldn’t be LESS accepted in oursociety. So if you put them together, you’ll probably get a front row, window seat on the Weirdo Train.So what? Do it, anyway.

Use these suggestions as is or modify them to your own needs and rhythms. How you approach your date is up to you. But one thing I want you to understand is that you are an awesome person. So as this school year winds to a close, don’t forget that you deserve to take some time for you.

No one is suggesting that you be lazy, irresponsible, or self-indulgent. We just want to see you take care of yourself so you have the passion and energy to continue your best work. We also want to see you recognize your own worth and the worth of spending some quality time with yourself so you can continue to give more to the others who are special to you. TZT

*

ZEN TEACHER ACTION STEP:

I challenge you to do exactly what #5 suggests. Make a list of ten things you love aboutyourself. Scary, I know. But keep in mind that no one needs to see it but you. Also keep in mind that there’s a difference between vanity and a sense of self-worth. Vanity is not healthy, whereas Self-worth is indispensable. As teachers, we often confuse the two. Now go be nice to you.

*Forgive me for not citing an original source, but this was just a meme on the Internet and, well,you know how that goes.

*Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it.” --Ferris Bueller

2016 is the 30th anniversary of John Hughes’ iconic film Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. During its run, I was lucky enough to be working at San Diego's Cinema Grossmont, one of the city's only remaining single house theaters in San Diego in 1986. During the day I attended drama classes at San Diego State University where, as aspiring thespians, we learned about breathing, focus, meditation, and being in the moment. Then at night, I would wander into the theater in my brown polyester uniform, Goodwill tie (we had to supply our own), and a takeout box of stolen popcorn and spend my break watching as Ferris Bueller tried to instruct his best friend Cameron on the importance of noticing what was going on around him.

I didn’t know it at the time, but this was a huge part of the genesis of my work as a Zen Teacher. And so now, to celebrate thirty years of the wisdom of a boy who realized that life moves pretty fast, I would like to share with you, in no particular order, twelve things I learned from Zen Master Ferris.

THE TWELVE ZEN TENETS OF FERRIS BUELLER

1. Sometimes you just need to stay home.*2. Singing in the shower is a kind of enlightenment.3. Wearing a suit for no reason sometimes makes things better.4. Making your hair into a mohawk in the shower isn’t weird, it’s fun, and you should do it more often.5. Sometimes it’s even MORE fun to stay home and enjoy when you’re SUPPOSED to be somewhere else.6. If you’re in the parade, you might as well enjoy it.7. Sometimes you just need to stop and look at a painting, simply because it’s beautiful.8. If you get an opportunity to ride in a bitchin’ car, you take it.9. Sitting still during the song “Twist and Shout” is nigh on to impossible.10. If the authority figures don’t understand why you’re doing what you’re doing, that’s okay.11. If the world was more accepting of self-care, we wouldn’t need to lie to our parents.12. If you identify more with Cameron, you need to find your Ferris.

As I crunched on my illicit corn all those years ago, I internalized the zen qualities of our hero and made it my mission to listen to my own impulses when they said, “Slow down. Take it Easy. Don’t forget to stop and look around for awhile,” because Ferris was right—if we don’t, we might miss something.

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off is not only a warm and fond memory of mine for its humor and charm as a film, but because it is an object lesson about stopping the Carousel of Life and being mindful and noticing all of the beauty and art and meaningful people all around us—even if the hair isn't quite as poofy and clothing styles are a little less Day Glo-y than they were thirty years ago.

So these days, when I’m feeling stressed or overwhelmed or my intuition says it’s time for a little break, I find myself asking one thing. . .

WWFD?

Living by this acronym may not be a foolproof plan, but on the other hand, it’s been three decades and it hasn’t failed me yet. TZT

To my delight, the response was immediate and enthusiastic. But even then, I was left with many questions—how do I do it, How long do I make the sessions, do I charge or not, and how do I include as many people as possible when each Google Hangout is limited to a maximum of 10 people?

But after some thought, I think I’ve discovered a solution:

I am looking for groups of people who are reading The Zen Teacherand who or serious about participating in a Google Hangout Zen Teacher class. This might be a school, a district, or even just a group of friends running an informal book club.

If this sounds like you, I will be happy to offer a FREE, 60 minute Zen Teacher Google Hangout to your group. If you get 3-10 people together who are reading the book and want to go deeper, simply contact me and we will set a date and time. Even if you read the book months ago, feel free to get a few people together and hang out with me so we can talk about how to create more focus, peace, and simplicity for you. This approach seemed to make the most sense and ensure that the participants were interested and committed to this message.

You can either reach out to me here in the comments section of the blog, on Twitter (@thezenteacher), or by emailing me at teachingzen@gmail.com. Once I am contacted, we will not only set a date and time, but discuss what kind of focus you’d like you and your group would like to take. I'm very excited about this new forum for showing teachers how to maximize their performance without sacrificing themselves in the process.

Please feel free to contact me at your earliest convenience and we’ll set something up. And of course, I’m always grateful when you help me spread the Zen Teacher message in any way, so please feel free to invite your staff, your friends, your colleagues, or even the crazy guy down the street.

Let’s work together to make your job and life just a little bit more peaceful.

Yesterday I talked about the importance of “small, good things”—those little things that make life worth living and renew us during times of stress and tension.

Naturally, some of my small, good things include holidays, laughter, family time, and special memories made with my children. But since part of my message concerns intentional and radical self-care, let’s look at some of my more personal small, good things that cater to my individual peace of mind.

They include:

Hot, buttered popcorn. When I was a child, my father would make a big bowl of popcorn and sit on the couch with his four kids and we would watch Happy Days, Sanford and Son, or The Rockford Files as we all pawed at the bowl. I'm sure this memory is why I love popcorn so much.

Coffee. So many of us enjoy a good cup of coffee. And I’m no different. But how often do we use our senses to enjoy each sip? How often do we notice the sound of the percolation in the coffeemaker? The rich aroma of a dark roast? The curve of the mug handle or the silver curl of steam as it rises from the pristine liquid surface? That hot first sip of heaven as it lands on our tongue? The deep, soulful flavor of a cup of black joe? Or the smooth, silky taste of our favorite flavored creamer?

Hazelnut creamer. Speaking of creamer, one of my great personal luxuries is using Hazelnut Creamer in my coffee. French Vanilla is a close second. Whenever my tastebuds get a hold of that Hazelnut Creamer, I always feel pampered.

Music. Again, the props go to my father whose record collection included some of the greatest music ever recorded. I grew up listening to Creedence Clearwater Revival, Bob Dylan, Janis Joplin, Eric Clapton, The Band, Bill Withers, Aretha Franklin, Al Green, Joe Cocker, Rod Stewart, John Lee Hooker, Jimmy Reed, and of course The Beatles and The Stones. Not a day goes by that I don’t use music to reboot my energy, lick my wounds, celebrate my triumphs, and/or alleviate my stress.

Real butter. I grew up in a house where finances dictated that we use margarine, not butter. But my grandmother used real butter. Consequently, every time we visited, I ran to the fridge proclaiming, “I want bread and butter.” Real butter is one luxury I’ve always allowed myself as an adult, especially because my popcorn jones.

Reading. I remember the intense feeling of freedom after graduating from college and knowing I could read anything I wanted to and that it wasn’t required. Pure bliss. There were at least four books lying around my apartment, overturned to whatever page I’d left off on. Sitting down for a few minutes to read a book still takes me to my happy place.

Orange juice. I love orange juice. But for most of my life, it just seemed simply too expensive to keep on hand, except on fairly rare occurrences. But that is changing. I have started treating myself to orange juice periodically just because it tastes good, I like it, and it makes me happy. But mostly, I justify it because I don’t do beer.

Breakfast in a diner. The older the diner, the better. The weirder, the better. I want to eat breakfast in a mom and pop diner at the edge of town where the waitresses have worked there since 1967 and the old men wear red flannel shirts and drive pick-up trucks. I want hot coffee, two eggs over medium, extra crispy hashbrowns, and sourdough toast. I want to overhear the old men in the next booth arguing about politics and looking at me funny because my nose is buried in a book. This picture is one of my greatest Zen Moments of my life.

Slippers. I realized a year or so ago that I enjoy wearing slippers so much around the house because they also make me feel relaxed, comfortable, and pampered. So I thought why not feel this way all the time? When it came time to buy a few new clothes for school this year, I bought three pair of loafers. Now I just slip ‘em on in the morning, no muss, no fuss, and—viola—slippers all day long.

These are just some of the small, good things in my life that make me feel renewed, relaxed, and rejuvenated. And do you know what they call those rare mornings on weekends or Spring Break or Winter Break or summer when I’m wearing my loafers, having breakfast in a diner, drinking my orange juice and coffee with Hazelnut creamer and listening to CCR on my earbuds?

I think they call that Heaven. TZT

***

Zen Teacher Action Step:

See if you can identify a "Small, good thing" in your life today. Be mindful of that thing that we might call one of our life's "Perfect Moments."

Let’s begin with the assumption that if you’re reading this, you know that Self-Care and Self-Compassion are important. But many of us, myself included, are often stuck on how to approach it or how to make it happen.

During this weekend’s Zen Teacher workshop at the CATE (California Association of Teachers of English) Conference in Costa Mesa, we talked about Intentional and Radical** Self-Care and, for the first time, I told teachers face-to-face about why it’s so important to break down those two words, Intentional and Radical, and how they can lead to a better understanding of Self-Care.

Intentional. The word intentional means “on purpose.” In other words, Self-Care is not going to happen by accident. No one is going to hand it to you. Chances are, no one in your life is likely to walk up to you, look you in the eye, and say, “You know what? Why don’t you go take a nap?” These things don’t typically happen as a matter of spontaneity and serendipity.

Self-Care is a choice, our choice. Self-Care takes purposeful intention to make it happen. One thing we can do to increase our odds of a little personal T.L.C. is to schedule it. Put it on the calendar. For some reason, writing something down makes it more real, gives it a little more gravitas, in a way that if it’s just swimming around in our mind as a “someday/sometime” kind of thing, doesn't really happen.

Radical. According to the on-line Merriam-Webster dictionary, radical means “very new and different from what is typical or ordinary.***” What a perfect expression of what needs to happen. In this Zen Teacher’s mind, then, radical means different, unusual, not like we always do it. If you want to improve your Self-Care, you have to do things differently than you have been doing them. This is not only a great challenge for us, but for those around us.

If you start insisting on time for renewal and rejuvenation, for example, you may face resistance and role stress from those around you who are used to you being a certain way. In true Zen fashion, then, you need to accept what is and proceed with non-judgment, but you also set boundaries that value and respect your own personal needs and desires, even if it pushes you (or someone else) out of a familiar comfort zone.

When I talk about Intentional and Radical Self-Care, there are two things to keep in mind: If you want to treat yourself better (and thereby be in a better position to love, give to, and serve others), you must do it on purpose and by choice and you must do it a way that isn’t typical or ordinary.

Doing something on purpose and by choice that is not usual is a subversive, rebellious act.

So what? Be a rebel.

Value your needs.

Take care of yourself.

After all, what’s the worst that could happen?

​Inner Peace? TZT

* I've always loved this picture form Easy Rider and a poster of it hung in my bedroom when I was 8.** The idea of RADICAL Self-Care comes from writer Anne Lamott. *** Interestingly, the second Merriam-Webster definition for radical said, "Very basic and important." Hmmm.

It might be a book club you no longer wish to be a part of. A hobby you've lost interest in. The committee you felt coerced to be on. The church event you never really liked in the first place. Whatever.

Just stop. Say no. Respect your time and space. And because your needs matter, insist that others respect them, too.

And when you remove that thing, what do you do with the space you've created?

You can fill it with something you're passionate about or that fulfills you. You can reflect on what you DO and DO NOT wish to do in your life. You can even use it to do a whole lot of nothing. And that's okay.

What you fill it with, OR WHETHER YOU FILL IT, is up to you.

The absence of that "just one thing" might possibly give you perhaps the smallest portion of breathing room you need in order to see things more clearly, create some space in your life, and see what's really important. TZT

It’s easy to think of our personal responsibilities and obligations as immoveable stones in the rock quarry of our lives. But the truth is: whatever we are “expected” to do is a function of our own decisions and choices. I know: Ouch!

But the truly insidious part is that these “to-dos” are not a function of one giant, T-Rex-sized choice that we make that shackles every square on our calendar or fills-up every spot of the day’s chore list on the pad in the kitchen—you know, the one that invariably has a cat or other cute creature on it and reminds us to, “Hang in There” or “Take it Easy.” Irony, much?

In actual fact, the rock quarry gets filled with the stones of obligation over time, with small decision after small decision—some made with intention, yes, but others made out of mere habit and thoughtless repetition.

That’s where mindfulness comes in.

We must be conscious of, and intentional with, as many of our choices as possible, instead of making a knee-jerk reaction, or feeling obligated to a colleague or family member, or worst of all, acting on our habitual treadmill like some living breathing robot and just doing the same thing over and over again simply because that's how we've done it before.

On the contrary, we must ask ourselves, “Will this be the best decision to put me closer to where I want to be in the long run?” or “Is this something I TRULY want to do?”

And this is where “No*,” comes in.

Yesterday, someone in the Twitterverse sent me this article** about the benefits of saying no, and it inspired me to talk a little more about this idea of gently declining new and unwanted obligations. I’ve talked about it before, but it’s always nice to be reminded that, as Anne Lamott says, “No” can be a complete sentence. Whether we are being asked to join another district committee, lead a project or program at our school, or even asked by a loved one to do just one more thing, we have the right to evaluate and assess for ourselves whether this new thing will be do-able, or if we should gracefully and politely say, "No, thank you."

If we are asked to do something, participate in something, or take on another responsibility, saying no:

--Does not make us lazy.--Does not make us mean.--Does not make us selfish.--Does not make us insensitive, inconsiderate, or thoughtless.--Does not make us evil degenerates bent on thwarting the anguished cries of our friends and loved ones. (Extreme? Maybe. But tell me that you've never felt that way or that someone hasn't implied that you SHOULD feel that way. . .)

What saying "No" DOES mean, however, is that we are honoring our time, our health, our energy levels, and our boundaries. We are being WISE and SMART and INTENTIONAL about our decisions. We are trying to put ourselves in a better place so that we can of EVEN MORE AND BETTER use to others, instead of being overburdened, overworked, overscheduled, and ultimately, burnt out.

Sometimes, of course, we need to swing our hammer and break those rocks. Sometimes, though, we need to set the hammer down and just say no, I’ve got enough stones in this quarry already.

The holiday season can be a time of beauty, love, and joy, but it can also be a swampland of stress, tension, and anxiety. We fill our minds and calendars with stuff to do, we put our bodies and spirits through the wringer in search of the “perfect” holiday (which is, of course, an oxymoron), and we overextend ourselves in the name of our family and friends. Before we know it, “Hark, The Herald Angels Sing,” turns into, “Hey, Harold, where’d you put my Thorazine?”

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

We can choose less.

We can meet our obligations and still choose to take care of ourselves.

We can give our loved ones a holiday to remember and still choose peace.

Real peace.

As a holiday gift from The Zen Teacher, I offer you some reminders for a low-stress, more tranquil Winter Break:

--When the chore list seems overwhelming, tell whoever is in charge of the list (whether husband or wife) to just give you two things to do and that you’ll do them. And then he or she can give me two more. Looking at a list of forty-seven things is daunting and makes us want to curl up with a blankie and an adult beverage. But anyone can do two things. Start there.

--When the to-do list looks like that picture of Santa rolling out his gift list as if it were an adding machine tape, Repeat after me: I don’t have to do it all. Now say it again: I don’t have to do it all.

--Save ten minutes before you go to bed and spend that time being still and silent. Meditate. Reflect. Say a gratitude sentence. Pray.

--Remember to eat some food that is good for you.

--Remember to eat some food that is not good for you.

--Remember to eat.

--Take a walk. But leave your smart phone in the house.

--Look at a cloud. Or a tree. Or better yet, both.

--Choose less. But do it better.

--Be present. (Without lamenting the past or worrying about the future.)

--On a day between now and when you return to school, mark the calendar for a period of anywhere between 30 and 120 minutes. When that day comes, for the time allotted, do absolutely nothing. You can sit. Listen to music. Maybe read, if you’re a rebel. But that’s it.

--Tell the fam you visit for the big dinner that even though you normally bring two dishes, you can only bring one this year. Everyone will survive.

--Participate in your Zen Practice (that thing that makes you lose all sense of time and that access your passion—running, writing, quilting, gardening, karaoke of old Kajagoogoo songs.)

This is by no means a complete list, but I hope these ideas help you remember that peace is a choice. No one will give it to you. You have to choose it for yourself. And there’s no point in doing everything perfectly if everyone else is calmly sipping egg nog, looking at Christmas lights, warming their hands by the fireplace, and otherwise enjoying the perfection you’ve created, while you’re sitting in the corner, hugging yourself in the fetal position and rocking back and forth.

I have nothing to add that would be more eloquent than what they're saying. But I WILL say: Look at how they LIGHT UP when they talk about the GOOD things about teaching. This profession is transformative for both student and educator.

“Summer afternoon—summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language.” --Henry James

*curated from a recent series of Tweets

Well, here we are: Right in the throes of summer. And if I know you--committed teachers that you are--you are already thinking ahead and preparing for your return to the classroom.

So as you plan for the fall, ask yourself:What is essential? You don’t need to teach everything at every moment. Emphasize the important. It will be enough. When I was a newbie English teacher and marked up essays, for example, I red-penciled every single comma and apostrophe error like an editor, thinking this would help them. Nah. Now I mark only the biggest things that are impairing their writing, as well marking some things that are going well. I recently heard some good advice, and now it’s one of my teaching mantras: “Give them one thing to think about.” What can you jettison? You may love that VHS tape you have on those Shakespearean insults. But throw that tape (and all the other ones you have in your cupboard) in the trash. They’re so 1981. That lesson on floppy disks or CD-ROM? Trash it. That conviction that you’ll never learn spreadsheets? You know what to do.Am I leaving time for stillness? Silence? Reflection? Summer is the best time to plan for stillness, silence, and reflection. If not now, when? This is your best shot to ensure that you give yourself some thinking time, some peaceful moments, and most importantly, some time to slow down and be still. Plan for it now before The Machine begins again.How will I take care of me? You know that Tsunami feeling—and I mean, you know, like a good Tsunami—of when the classroom door opens in the fall and it all starts again? Well, before that happens, make sure you have some idea of how you will take care of you. Put some mini-breaks, staycations, and down time on the calendar. Schedule your physical and mental health. And then stick to it.How can I be mindful of my choices? A teacher’s day is comprised of nothing so much as choices. Be mindful of those choices and ask constantly, “Is this the best use of my time?” “Is this going to move me in the direction I want to go?” “Will attending this meeting and finally snapping land me in prison?” You know, ask the important questions about choice.

How can I access my passion? We all have passions in our personal lives. And those teachers who bring those passions into the classroom own their teaching space, teach their students better, and just plain have more fun. Identify your passions, and then bring them in.

How can I simplify/clear/focus my physical space? With the space restrictions we face as modern teachers (forty desks in room? Show of hands!), it’s that much more important that we simplify our learning environments right down to their essence. What surface can you clear? What cupboard can you empty? How can you declutter, rearrange, and reorganize to maximize your breathing room? Thinking about it now will save you some time in September.

Am I being present here? In the summer? Looking ahead and planning is good; it’s helpful and important. But you’ve been given a break here in these couple months that not everyone is lucky enough to have. And we still have some time left. So before summer wanes and the classroom calls, I want to make sure you remember to be present and use the gift you’ve been given. Take a break. Bask in the sun (or near sun). Indulge in a hobby or passion. Get out and go somewhere, even if it’s to the neighborhood park.

It's easy to get caught up in The Machine and forget to take care of yourself. Even during the summer when there are typically fewer responsibilities and obligations.

So allow me to remind you. . .

Here are 31 things you can do RIGHT NOW to take care of yourself.

1. Stop and breathe.2. Create something.3. Listen to the birds.4. Sit down.5. Laugh.6. Read something good.7. Meditate.8. Clear off a surface.9. Take a slow, hot bath. 10. Slow down.11. Listen to music.12. Plan a new lesson for next year.13. Spend time with your pet.14. Spend time with your children.15. Spend time with yourself.16. Be still.17. Clean something.18. Seek out nature.19. Go one less place today.20. Buy one less thing.21. Help someone.22. Have a nosh.23. Drink some good coffee.24. Eat a really good dessert.25. Be silent.26. Look at art.27. Pray28. Take a couple things off your "to-do" list.*29. Express gratitude for something.30. Put Down Your Sword.**31. Be Here Now. -- Ram Dass

There are more ways, of course, but this should get you started.

I'd love to hear how it goes if you try any of these and if you found them helpful.

The key is not to forget to take care of YOU because YOU are the SELF in Radical SELF-care.

And besides, you deserve it. TZT

*I don't mean do them and cross them off, I mean just take them off the list. There have to be one or two that just really aren't that important. Really.

**This concept will be explained in my upcoming book The Zen Teacher: Creating Focus, Simplicity, and Tranquility in the Classroom

Even teachers who love to teach are glad to see the summer. And that's okay. They've earned it. And in a way, the more glad they are to see June, the harder they know they’ve worked, and that’s a testament to their commitment.

But while teachers have certainly earned a break after nine months of busting their body, hearts, minds, and souls in some of the most important work imaginable, summer time is also a great time for The 4 Rs—reflection, relaxation, renewal, and radical self-care.

Here are some questions to get you thinking, starting first and foremost with the question teachers never want to think about: What can you do—right now—to take care of YOU?

Here are a few others to get you going:

What went well last year?

What new thing did you do this year that you will DEFINITELY do again next year?

How can you make it better?

How can you CELEBRATE your accomplishments?

What seemed essential this year, but just wasn’t?

What can you get rid of? What can you jettison to create more space for your passion?

What is in your classroom, physically, that you can do without to create more space?

What is one thing you want to try or experiment with next year?

How can you get to your favorite place more often in the next few months?

How can you see that particular person more often who you hardly ever see, but who always makes you feel better?

How can you enhance your plans for renewal this June, July, and August?

How can you be more present in each of your moments?

How can you increase the activities you WANT to do?

How can you decrease the activities you DON’T WANT to do?*

How can you carve out some time for non-doing?

What can you participate in (books, workshops, conferences, classes, internet research, podcasts, etc.) that will make you a better TEACHER** in the fall?

What can you participate in (vacations, meditation, beach, mountains, camping, etc.) that will make you a better PERSON** in the fall?

What can you do (now that it’s summer) that you just haven’t had time for because of your classroom obligations all year? Now go do it.***

What can you do to show GRATITUDE for the year you have had and to be appreciative of the time and space you will get during these next three months that not every working person is allowed?

This is far from an exhaustive list of questions, but I hope it will get you thinking about the rare opportunity you have during the next few months to sit back, take a breath, enjoy your accomplishments, renew your mind, body, and spirit, and look forward to a fall that will come for you with maybe just a smidgeon more peace and tranquility. TZT

* I realize, of course, that we all have obligations over the summer, too. **important distinction ***painting, horseback riding, quilting, writing, One Direction karaoke, what?