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December 13, 2015

Top Solutions for a Respectful Relationship

What is your
top priority in any relationship? Acceptance? Appreciation? Mutual support?
Love? In my humble opinion, the root of
all of these attributes is what every individual really wants: respect. Think about it: if we don’t first respect a person, we aren’t going
to appreciate them, accept them, and so forth.

Please note: I am not suggesting
that we embrace certain attitudes we feel might be toxic. I am only talking
about valuing worthwhile mindsets that differ from our own.

The other
day, I blogged about how we often treat each other with disrespect when they
slow us down. Please see that article here.
Certain individuals aren’t always given what they want for a variety of reasons.
That doesn’t mean they have a right to belittle others.

People use a
number of justifications for disrespect. Here are three of the top ones that I’ve
noticed:

Someone’s Agenda Gets Obstructed.

My son is in
training to be an online tech-support representative for an internet provider. One of his fellow trainees took a call from an
angry customer who constantly yelled and cussed. Obviously, the man wasn’t
getting his needs met, or he wouldn’t have called in the first place. Nobody
likes to be slowed down by equipment failure. However, that wasn’t a good
excuse to allow his feelings to spill over onto a person who was trying to help
him—and hadn’t caused his problem in the first place.

Janice is a
friend who had to argue with her bank manager about not charging to stop
payment on two checks. She called within fifteen minutes of learning there wasn’t
enough money to cover the funds. The angry bank official’s agenda was to follow
his bank’s rules and keep from losing
money. In the process, he almost lost a customer. Reason won out in the end. He
cleared the checks.

There is no Meeting of Minds.

Loved ones should
have empathy for everything we go through, right? They are likely to understand
our every feeling and motivation. Not
really. People close to us will want to understand us, and think they relate to us. But, that won’t
always be possible.

There are some
situations that must be experienced firsthand in order to be truly understood.
The death of a child and chronic illness are two examples. Such circumstances
are debilitating, and they limit our lifestyles. They may be too frightening
and difficult for others to even try to understand; they can’t, or won’t, allow
themselves to do so.

Someone Doesn’t Want to Admit They’re
Wrong.

Who does,
really? It requires a certain level of humility. It means admitting to the fact
that there’s a flaw inside of us. Five of the hardest words in the English
language are “I was wrong. I’m sorry.”

One
colleague says that she has had to part ways many times with people who would
rather lose her friendship, or her love, than admit they were wrong—or at least
that her point of view was worth considering.

What is the Solution?

1. Accept
the fact that some people simply cannot, or will
not, understand our point of view: