exclusive cleaving & unity – you husband is preeminent in your life – nothing social, occupational, or political takes its place

practice spirituality together – couples who practice faith together are more committed and less likely to have conflict

Don’t fall into a constraint commitment – forces or costs that keep you in a relationship even if ending it is also necessitated

Write down the experience of deciding to marry him when the time comes, to reflect on

Connection –

TRUE MARITAL LOVE EMERGES FROM PROFOUND FRIENDSHIP

Find out what makes your husband happy & do it out of love

Talk as friends – don’t always be a “debbie downer”

Give full attention, look each other in the eyes

TAKE EACH OTHER’S SIDE

Not about the job & the kids & the problems all the time

AVOID unsolicited advice

Respond to bids for connection:

make an effort to do things together

talk. talk. talk. especially at the end of the day

do something each day to express affection & appreciation

Conflict: or the lack of it

Ratio of positive to negative comments should be at least 5:1

Don’t necessarily count, but if thinks are particularly hard something to keep in mind

Focus on spouse’s positive qualities – make & share lists for each other

“When we look for the worst in anyone, we will find it. But if we will concentrate on the best, that element will grow until it sparkles.”
-Gordon B. Hinckley “Loyalty”

Exercise – find time to let off steam when things get hard

Elder LeGrand Richards of the Council of the Twelve, who performed our temple wedding, told us, “Whenever you feel like arguing, take a walk outdoors in opposite directions. If you will do this, you’ll both get a lot of fresh air and become great outdoorsmen.” There’s truth beneath the humor. The physical exercise can change our emotional state as well as give us time to think through the problem and let the intensity of the emotion fade away.
“I Have a Question” – Ensign October 1980