4 comments:

Anonymous
said...

The couple made a number of mistakes to find themselves in this position.First, they had a number of major life events in a short amount of time---getting married, expecting twins and buying a quarter million dollar house.

They should have done this.

1) Save like crazy to have a six month "rainy day fund."

2) do not buy something as expensive as a house in the first year of marriage. Build up your savings.

3) Do not do anything big until the twins arrive and you see they are well and healthy.

That sounds like good advice. But it doesn't get to what I think is the point of the article. Now that the mistakes have been mode, there are people who need help. Are the only people we will help those who have made no mistakes (I.e. The non-existent perfect among us)?

Indeed, that would be ideal. But, alas, life happened to this couple while they were busy making other plans...

So, what to do?

It is unrealistic to ask young people who fall in love to avoid marriage. We are hard-wired to attach ourselves to a mate in our teens and 20s, and then to have children soon after. These are biological drives that are affirmed by our culture.

Yes, they should have been outliers. But like the vast majority, they were not.

And yes, they should not have purchased a home. They should have deferred the American Dream.

But that is not what they did. Again, driven by the natural instincts of newlyweds/young parents putting down roots (and influenced by a culture that promotes consumerism and ennobles the purchase of a home), they made a decision that was hard to sustain.

And they fell behind. And then the story turned out the way it did.

Should they be condemned to deeper poverty and disgrace because of it?

Is it better to say "I told you so" than to say "what if that were my daughter"?

Larry James' Urban Daily

A repository of ideas, resources, commentary and opinions concerning the issues facing low-income residents of the inner cities of the United States and how mainstream America largely forgets or, worse, ignores the day-to-day realities of urban life for the so-called "poor." Written and edited by the President & CEO of CitySquare. Please visit CitySquare.