Our new Indie Games subforum is now open for business in G&T. Go and check it out, you might land a code for a free game. If you're developing an indie game and want to post about it, follow these directions. If you don't, he'll break your legs! Hahaha! Seriously though.

Our rules have been updated and given their own forum. Go and look at them! They are nice, and there may be new ones that you didn't know about! Hooray for rules! Hooray for The System! Hooray for Conforming!

I was hoping this was going to be like a crypto-zoology thread with monster legends from around the globe. But it's not. It's Dungeons and Dragons or something.

STFU Noob

"You enter a dark crypt. The stench of mildew hangs from the walls. The floor pulls at your boots with an unknown sticky substance. As you wade through the darkness, your torch barely able to hold light in the stale air and tight quarters, a voice echos from the darkness."

"Honey, your microwave chicken pot pies are ready! Did you look for a job today?"

"Maaaawwwwmm I'm hanging out with my friends! Quit embarrassing me!" You shout down the cellar stairs into the sucking blackness of the lower levels...

They're cutting out a lot of the bullshit that would slowdown gameplay, like special grapple rules and stuff, as well as making the classes more 'fun' and capable of doing some neat things. For example, a wizard that runs out of his daily spells will still have some kind of cool 'arcane blast' thing he can use X times a day so he's not just 'guy with shitty HP and a staff' when he runs out of spells.

They're cutting out a lot of the bullshit that would slowdown gameplay, like special grapple rules and stuff, as well as making the classes more 'fun' and capable of doing some neat things. For example, a wizard that runs out of his daily spells will still have some kind of cool 'arcane blast' thing he can use X times a day so he's not just 'guy with shitty HP and a staff' when he runs out of spells.

As well as steamlining combat considerably.

oh they're making it even faster and more accessible to casual players?

because that's part of why 3rd edition is so crap

there needs to be a balance between simplicity and attention to detail

They're cutting out a lot of the bullshit that would slowdown gameplay, like special grapple rules and stuff, as well as making the classes more 'fun' and capable of doing some neat things. For example, a wizard that runs out of his daily spells will still have some kind of cool 'arcane blast' thing he can use X times a day so he's not just 'guy with shitty HP and a staff' when he runs out of spells.

As well as steamlining combat considerably.

oh they're making it even faster and more accessible to casual players?

because that's part of why 3rd edition is so crap

there needs to be a balance between simplicity and attention to detail

One time, I had a friend over to play a bit of Red Alert on my LAN. During the game he said he needed to go to the bathroom, so we paused it. After about 10 minutes of wondering where the hell he went, I get up and go to check on him.

They're cutting out a lot of the bullshit that would slowdown gameplay, like special grapple rules and stuff, as well as making the classes more 'fun' and capable of doing some neat things. For example, a wizard that runs out of his daily spells will still have some kind of cool 'arcane blast' thing he can use X times a day so he's not just 'guy with shitty HP and a staff' when he runs out of spells.

As well as steamlining combat considerably.

oh they're making it even faster and more accessible to casual players?

because that's part of why 3rd edition is so crap

there needs to be a balance between simplicity and attention to detail

You just miss THAC0, don't you?

Yeah, because I sure do love having to sit down and do the equivalents of filing my tax returns just to be able to stat a goddamned dragon.

When I was in boot to become an infantryman, on our one two-day off-base pass me and another guy went to see Private Ryan in theaters as it had just come out and during the opening scene we're all HOLY FUCK WHAT DID WE GET OURSELVES IN TO

Tarrasque click to see monster
Size/Type: Colossal Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 48d10+594 (858 hp)
Initiative: +7
Speed: 20 ft. (4 squares)
Armor Class: 35 (-8 size, +3 Dex, +30 natural), touch 5, flat-footed 32
Base Attack/Grapple: +48/+81
Attack: Bite +57 melee (4d8+17/18-20/Ã—3)
Full Attack: Bite +57 melee (4d8+17/18-20/Ã—3) and 2 horns +52 melee (1d10+8) and 2 claws +52 melee (1d12+8) and tail slap +52 melee (3d8+8)
Space/Reach: 30 ft./20 ft.
Special Attacks: Augmented critical, frightful presence, improved grab, rush, swallow whole
Special Qualities: Carapace, damage reduction 15/epic, immunity to fire, poison, disease, energy drain, and ability damage, regeneration 40, scent, spell resistance 32
Saves: Fort +38, Ref +29, Will +20
Abilities: Str 45, Dex 16, Con 35, Int 3, Wis 14, Cha 14
Skills: Listen +17, Search +9, Spot +17, Survival +14 (+16 following tracks)
Feats: Alertness, Awesome Blow, Blind-Fight, Cleave, Combat Reflexes, Dodge, Great Cleave, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Initiative, Iron Will, Power Attack, Toughness (6)
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 20
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always neutral
Advancement: 49+ HD (Colossal)
Level Adjustment: â€”
The tarrasque is 70 feet long and 50 feet tall, and it weighs about 130 tons.
The tarrasque cannot speak.
Combat
The tarrasque attacks with its claws, teeth, horns, and tail.
The tarrasqueâ€™s natural weapons are treated as epic weapons for the purpose of overcoming damage reduction.
Augmented Critical (Ex)
The tarrasqueâ€™s bite threatens a critical hit on a natural attack roll of 18-20, dealing triple damage on a successful critical hit.
Frightful Presence (Su)
The tarrasque can inspire terror by charging or attacking. Affected creatures must succeed on a DC 36 Will save or become shaken, remaining in that condition as long as they remain with 60 feet of the tarrasque. The save DC is Charisma-based.
Improved Grab (Ex)
To use this ability, the tarrasque must hit a Huge or smaller opponent with its bite attack. It can then attempt to start a grapple as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it wins the grapple check, it establishes a hold and can try to swallow the foe the following round.
Rush (Ex)
Once per minute, the normally slow-moving tarrasque can move at a speed of 150 feet.
Swallow Whole (Ex)
The tarrasque can try to swallow a grabbed opponent of Huge or smaller size by making a successful grapple check. Once inside, the opponent takes 2d8+8 points of crushing damage plus 2d8+6 points of acid damage per round from the tarrasqueâ€™s digestive juices. A swallowed creature can cut its way out by dealing 50 points of damage to the tarrasqueâ€™s digestive tract (AC 25). Once the creature exits, muscular action closes the hole; another swallowed opponent must cut its own way out. The tarrasqueâ€™s gullet can hold 2 Huge, 8 Large, 32 Medium, 128 Small, or 512 Tiny or smaller creatures.
Carapace (Ex)
The tarrasqueâ€™s armorlike carapace is exceptionally tough and highly reflective, deflecting all rays, lines, cones, and even magic missile spells. There is a 30% chance of reflecting any such effect back at the caster; otherwise, it is merely negated. Check for reflection before rolling to overcome the creatureâ€™s spell resistance.
Regeneration (Ex)
No form of attack deals lethal damage to the tarrasque. The tarrasque regenerates even if it fails a saving throw against a disintegrate spell or a death effect. If the tarrasque fails its save against a spell or effect that would kill it instantly (such as those mentioned above), the spell or effect instead deals nonlethal damage equal to the creatureâ€™s full normal hit points +10 (or 868 hp). The tarrasque is immune to effects that produce incurable or bleeding wounds, such as mummy rot, a sword with the wounding special ability, or a clay golemâ€™s cursed wound ability.
The tarrasque can be slain only by raising its nonlethal damage total to its full normal hit points +10 (or 868 hit points) and using a wish or miracle spell to keep it dead.
If the tarrasque loses a limb or body part, the lost portion regrows in 1d6 minutes (the detached piece dies and decays normally). The creature can reattach the severed member instantly by holding it to the stump.
Skills
The tarrasque has a +8 racial bonus on Listen and Spot checks.

One time, I had a friend over to play a bit of Red Alert on my LAN. During the game he said he needed to go to the bathroom, so we paused it. After about 10 minutes of wondering where the hell he went, I get up and go to check on him.

One time, I had a friend over to play a bit of Red Alert on my LAN. During the game he said he needed to go to the bathroom, so we paused it. After about 10 minutes of wondering where the hell he went, I get up and go to check on him.

One time, I had a friend over to play a bit of Red Alert on my LAN. During the game he said he needed to go to the bathroom, so we paused it. After about 10 minutes of wondering where the hell he went, I get up and go to check on him.