celebrity accidents

We all had our fun with the Gerard Depardieu’s airplane incident, mainly because in our heart of hearts we suspected A-listers of doing stuff like this all the time without us finding out about it. We’ve never ridden a plane with Gwyneth Paltrow, is all we’re saying. However, if Depardieu’s travel companion Edouard Baer is to be believed we’re going to want to wipe off all those zingers we made about Gerard’s bladder malfunction. Says fellow actor Baer, “He has prostate problems and it was very worrying and humiliating for him. He was also stone-cold sober at the time. This is not the way he usually behaves.” Yeah, we’re pretty sure if this was the way Gerard Depardieu usually behaved we would have heard about it by now.

According Baer’s statement, Gerard Depardieu’s peeing incident happened after the actor’s medical problems forced him to pee into a bottle after being denied access to the restroom. Once the bottle was fullÃ¢â‚¬Â¦well, there weren’t a lot of other good option after that; those barf bags are still just bags! “Gerard was upset at this and offered to clean up the mess,” his friend told the BBC. We sure hope Baer actually had permission to reveal all these intimate details, or else let’s pray he doesn’t have an unsoiled rug that ties the whole room together.

When it comes to the French, actor Gerard Depardieu is basically their Tom Hanks, Robert DeNiro and John Malkovich rolled into one. Now imagine all three of those guys emptying their bladders in public and that’s about how insane it would be to hear that Gerard Depardieu peed on an airplane. Reportedly the actor’s flight from Paris to Dublin was delayed and had to wait on the tarmac. When Gerard was told by a member of the flight crew that he couldn’t use the restrooms until the flight had taken off, he did what we assume most A-listers secretly want to do: he proceeded to unzip and pee on the carpet. We bet it was more awkward than when his character sings “Thank Heavens For Little Girls” in My Father, The Hero. Well, almost that awkward.

Because they are fabulously European, City Jet, the company that operated the flight, took to their Twitter account to joke about the Gerard Depardieu peeing incident, tweeting, “As you may have seen on the news, we are busy mopping the floor of one of our planes this morning,” followed by “We’d also like to remind all passengers that our planes are fully equipped with toilet facilities.” As a fellow passenger named Daniele told French radio station Europe 1, “You could tell he’d been drinking,” Yeah…we can’t say for sure that Depardieu must have been drunk. We’re just saying, how many times has he peed in front of a horrified flight attendant while sober? The prosecution rests, Your Honor.

People reports that Arnold Schwarzenegger’s son Christopher left the hospital today, and expected to make a full recovery following his boogie board accident. “Blessed to be able to take Christopher out of the hospital last night. What a feeling of relief to know that he’s going to be fine,” mother Maria Shriver tweeted. “We were very lucky. Many patients and families we met have been there so long and have no end in sight. I pray for their recovery.” We’re not going to immediately assume some sort of cybernetic technology is behind Christopher’s quick recovery, but it’s certainly on the table.

Arnold, who was photographed visiting Christopher at the hospital earlier this week, chimed in this afternoon, tweeting, “I knew Christopher couldn’t be stopped! Big thanks to all the doctors, nurses & staff at UCLA that helped him recover.” Despite Arnold and Maria’s impending divorce, a source claims, “He and Maria will always come together when it comes to supporting and loving their children,” as well as to terminating any and all boogie boards in their kid’s vicinity.

As if this family hasn’t had a nightmare year already, People reports that Christopher Schwarzenegger, teen son of Maria Schriver and Arnold Schwarzenegger, has been hospitalized with serious injures following a boogie boarding accident last weekend. “Christopher has been in ICU since Sunday,” a source explains. “Maria has not left his side and is sleeping at hospital.” Christopher apparently suffered a collapsed lung during the incident, as well as broken ribs.

Nearly a month after sustaining serious injuries while on vacation, Sean Kingston’s hospital stay is over as of this week. Hmm, Kingston out and (nearly) ready to party right before the Fourth of July? Coincidence, or divine providence from the god of summer jams? Really makes you think…

Despite the fact that Sean Kingston’s jet ski accident left the “Letting God (Dutty Love)” singer with a broken jaw, fractured wrist and water in his lungs, Kingston was able to leave the hospital with his mother on Tuesday. Earlier this week, Sean Kington’s Twitter was updated in the first time since before the crash with a photo of the singer and the message, “”Feeling alot better! GOD IS GREAT! Thanks for all the prayers and support! Love you ALL!” Sean is expected to make a full recovery, provided he fills his doctor’s prescription and takes zero jet ski ride(s) per day for the rest of his life.

Oh, we wish we wouldn’t get corny about this, but it’s so easy! And no one was hurt, so it isn’t in poor taste. Gorgeous Mad Men actress Christina Hendricks‘ coat caught fire at a Tony Awards after party in the swank Empire Suite at The Carlyle hotel. She wandered a little too close to a candle without realizing it and before long, her trench coat started smoking and then caught fire! We’re going to behave ourselves and not use puns that include “flame-haired” or “smoking hot”, for your benefit.

Luckily, Ms Chrissie put out the flames, without getting hurt. The coat was curtains, though. It ended up being tossed away because it was left with a big scorched hole! All jokes aside, we’re really happy she’s okay and wasn’t burned ’cause this could’ve been nasty.

It would be a tragedy if the singer of some of the sweetest summer jams had to spend the next three months in traction, but luckily it seems like Sean Kingston’s accident isn’t keeping him down for long. “Sean Kingston continues to be hospitalized at Jackson Memorial Hospital in Miami,” said the performer’s publicist Joseph Carozza in a statement. “His condition has been upgraded to serious. Sean is breathing on his own and walked for the first time this morning. Sean thanks his friends, family and fans for their outpouring of prayers and well wishes.” During Sean Kingston’s jet ski accident, the “Beautiful Girls” singer sustained a fractured wrist, broken jaw and water in his lungs; the singer crashed into a bridge on his Ski Doo last Sunday, according to an accident report from the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission. Sure, getting sand inside a cast or drinking a daiquiri through a wired-shut jaw isn’t an optimal way to beat the hear, but we’re relieved and happy to hear Sean is steadying getting better.

It takes talent to be able to get into trouble everywhere you go. No one exemplifies this statement more than our darling Snooki, who is currently in custody in Florence, Italy. She crashed into a car while driving and — because this is Snooki and life does this to her — the other vehicle just happened to be a cop car!

Fortunately for Snookums, she hadn’t been drinking. A source reported that “zero alcohol was involved,” which is a lucky break, but she’s still in trouble considering the city of Florence and the Jersey Shore cast don’t exactly get along. This occurred yesterday, and TMZ reports that no one’s been injured and this isn’t a formal arrest. Apparently Deena Nicole (of bridge hopping fame) was in the passenger seat at the time. Free Snooki, Italy! FREE SNOOKI! Priceless.

This is such awful news to start the week with. 21 year old hip-hop star Sean Kingston was in a terrible jet skiing accident last evening around 6pm, in Miami. He is currently in critical condition in Jackson Memorial hospital in Miami Beach, along with the female passenger who was on board with him when the accident happened. Apparently, Sean, with his female friend, crashed his jetski into a bridge and were rescued by passerby’s.

The cause of the crash is still being investigated and TMZ was told that alcohol is not believed to have been involved. Sean’s spokesperson has so far stated, “Sean Kingston was in an accident today. No further details are available at the moment. He and his family thank everyone for the well-wishes.” We’ll keep you posted on what happens. Our thoughts and prayers are with him.

UPDATE: TMZ is reporting that Sean is out of the trauma unit and has been moved into Intensive Care. He still is in critical condition but has been stabilized.

The camera makes us do strange things. Alcohol makes us do strange things. Combine the two, and you have the Jersey Shore. The photo on the left is of Sammi Sweetheart Giancola and Deena Nicole Cortese doing their thing in Florence, Italy where the show is being taped. Naturally, footage of them walking around shopping ain’t going to get ratings right? So Deena Nicole — as evidenced by the photo on the right — decided to climb off the side of a huge bridge. Because the laws of gravity do not apply to the Jersey Shore guys. What goes up, can’t go splat!

Long story short, Deena and the Florentine bridge were not amici with each other. Big bridge, little Deena. She couldn’t get back up and, after dangling dangerously off the side, had to be pulled up by security and Sammi. Apparently, shots of them drinking aren’t going to be permitted while they’re shooting in the country. So they obviously needed something stupid enough to replace Snooki and gang slurring through an episode. This is it. Brilliant television, guys, really.