2 years ago when Chuck Norris visited Japan and he stoped by at Sqaure-Enix not to interview with Yoichi Wada. Instead he Roundhouse Kicked Tetsuya Nomura when Tetsuya said ''why do your movies suck Chuck Norris?''. This explains why Tetsuya Nomura was ill at the time and why Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children was delayed for 3 years....

2.55 Roundhouse Kicks (309 votes)

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# 739

TCIF...Thank Chuck it's Friday

3.27 Roundhouse Kicks (709 votes)

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# 145

Chuck Norris has his own drug rehabilitation clinic. The treatment consists of Chuck Norris asking each patient "Want more smack, dope fiend?" If they say "Yes", he roundhouse kicks them in the face. If they say "No", he roundhouse kicks them in the face because they're lying. The treatment has a 385% success rate, which is mathematically impossible for everyone except Chuck Norris.

4.13 Roundhouse Kicks (1012 votes)

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# 446

When asked whether his favorite way of killing people was with his fists, feet, or innocent bystanders, Chuck Norris answered, "Both."

3.42 Roundhouse Kicks (273 votes)

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# 615

Chuck Norris is Polish. In 1605 at Kircholm he deafeted 11000 Sweds with one winged hussar charge.

3.31 Roundhouse Kicks (444 votes)

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# 614

Chuck Norris blood type is AK+ - ass kicking positive.

3.67 Roundhouse Kicks (353 votes)

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# 81

Chuck Norris' house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

3.79 Roundhouse Kicks (529 votes)

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# 168

Chuck Norris' girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't **** with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

3.65 Roundhouse Kicks (566 votes)

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# 1

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. But he is so badass, he has never cried. Ever.

4.26 Roundhouse Kicks (4253 votes)

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# 526

My Bologna has a first name. Chuck Norris.

3.32 Roundhouse Kicks (298 votes)

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# 302

Chuck Norris' ejaculation is equal in force to that of a M-16. If you aren't dead after he rapes you, prepare for a roundhouse kick to the face.

3.17 Roundhouse Kicks (365 votes)

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# 151

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

4.25 Roundhouse Kicks (2346 votes)

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# 348

Chuck Norris puts the Kill in Skill.

3.73 Roundhouse Kicks (367 votes)

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# 413

When the Top 100 All Time Players baseball cards were released, Chuck Norris was on 101 of them.

3.09 Roundhouse Kicks (354 votes)

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# 647

If you locked Chuck Norris in a room for six months with a guitar, he could make the perfect album. When asked why he doesn't do this, he responded, "Music is for idiots." To prove how serious he was about this statement, he swallowed a knife.