In these troubling, hairy times when men are being revealed as ruled by their penises and subsequently harassing others with them, we need something more than ever: penis news. Why? Because penises need to be stripped of there power. Thus, here’s your penis news. PENIS NEWS!!

Why South Africa Leads The World In Penis Transplants
Penis transplants are uncharted territory and represent a big future in medicine. Interestingly, they’re most being done in South Africa for myriad reasons, mostly as a result of botched circumcisions of men that apparently lead to “the world’s highest rate of penis amputations.” Hopefully this medical technology can help these people in need!

Australian City Fights To Save ‘Big Penis’ Tower
A local architectural attraction in Australia is facing demolition as a result of being too much to maintain, particularly as a result of its not being fit for disability access. Locals aren’t too happy with this for one reason: they like that it looks like a penis and are hoping to “save the schlong.”

How Getting Your Penis Pierced Changes Your Sex Life For Good
Getting your dick pierced has an effect on sexual stimulation. How? It can change the temperature “down there” in addition to general surface feeling. I once dated a guy with a dick piercing and, while aesthetically nice, it was too weird. I asked him to take it out.