Saturday, April 3, 2010

I finally got around to filing my taxes. It’s something I put off…and put off…and put off every year because I ALWAYS end up owing money. Owing money sucks. And it has reached the point of absolute pigeonshit ridiculous since my divorce. It turns out the government hates single people.

I know! I was shocked too!

And then I found out that they really really REALLY hate renters.

As a single non-homeowner, I’m not exactly feeling the love.

In fact, the federal government is making me feel pretty small and unloved and I’m starting to wonder if I can start seeing a therapist to deal with these feelings of being small and unloved and then deduct the expense from my taxes.

But this year I used TurboTax and TurboTax felt sorry for me. I entered everything I was supposed to and winced, as usual, at the amount owed. And I could tell that TurboTax was thinking “This poor pathetic girl. She doesn’t have a husband or a house? WTF?! What can I do to make her feel better…even a little…as she arranges to pay the IRS another ginormous mountain of money?”

So TurboTax stepped in and tried to make it seem like the IRS actually liked me and was super excited to hear from me.

Congratulations to me! I’ve been “accepted” by the IRS! Yeah! ((Implied love and fireworks!))

Thank you TurboTax.

My 10-year old tax deduction and I are going to go paint Easter eggs now.

I SO got that warm fuzzy feeling of acceptance when it showed the little check mark and flashy green graphic. And you are right about them hating renters. I'm a renter also and I know all about the fire breathing IRS cyclops monster.