Everybody Calm Down

Bob Englehart

Yes, it’s true. You can’t catch Ebola by reading about it, but the panic is highly contagious. Apparently it’s spread by CNN and Faux Snooze Channel, absorbed by the eye holes and from there it’s a pipeline directly to the brain. Although I have no faith in 24-hour, I do have great faith in science and I know they’ll find a way to stop the virus: kill it, slow it down and/or manage it in some way. And as sure as they do, another fatal disease will come along that will have our scientists stumped for awhile. Mother Nature is relentless. She wants to wipe us out only as a practical matter, it’s not personal. We’re just slabs of meat to her, another pain in the neck organism she has to deal with. The cause of all this recent unpleasantness is, in my humble opinion, overcrowding. There are just too many peeps on the planet and nature will use war, pestilence, natural disasters, climate change, bizarre murders, whatever it takes to keep the number of humans at a manageable level. We do our best to trick her, though, dodging one bullet after another. Years ago, there was a margarine commercial and the tag line was, “It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature.” Oh well, it’s fun trying.