'1987' Tagged Entries

7 Entries on This Page

Lived together?You lived in Sin in 1998.You lived in a van down by the river (but we swear nothing steamy happened) from 2004 to 2009.You lived in inside the underbelly of a Tauntaun - more romantic than it sounds! from 1983 to 1984.

Worked together?You worked at Wells and Wacker. Lower Wacker. That's a lot of Wacking. from 1981 to 1987.You worked as Roadies (and, sadly, groupies) for the Lichtensteinian Goth Country band Doublewide Despair from 2001 to 2002.You worked at C&C Roadside Carnival and Freak Show / Supermarket from 1995 to 1997.

From an organization, team or group?You were members of Sumatran League of Confused Warlords in 1984.You were members of Organizers of ThimbleCon 2008 - man, we love thimbles! from 1982 to 1997.You were members of International Association of Rhubarb Farmers (who are diametrically opposed to those nasty Beet Farmers! [But not opposed to the Beat Farmers curiously enough]) from 1979 to 1984.

Went to school together?You went to preschool with Neal.

Traveled together?You traveled to sun bathing and swimming in Greenland for the bicentennial celebration of the Wooly Horse Festival in the winter of 2003.You traveled to Panama for the annual Panama Canal Sled Dog/Doggy Paddle 500 biathlon in the summer of 2003.You traveled to Djibuti, Qatar, Suriname, Guinea-Bissau, Moldova, Atlantis, Asgard, Metropolis, Kyrgyzstan... well, really, where DIDN'T we go? in the summer of 1980.

In 1987, while working on their little known chromosome research project, George and Neal discovered that the Y chromosome was merely a "lazy X" chromosome. This explains why most men are less productive (and let's face it, hygienic) than women. Of course, this data was accidentally suppressed by George and Neal, because they were too lazy to mail it in for publication. They'll get to it. Someday.

In 1987, Nintendo released Mike Tyson's Punch Out. Although it was a smash hit, many believe that the game would have sold significantly better had it been released in its original incarnation, George Jaros's Punch Out.

"007 373 5963" - this password led you to a world of hurtin', GJ style.

Photo by: Neal

Unfortunately, the likeness rights could not be obtained due to a dispute over George's physique. Nintendo wanted to opt for the "six pack" look for George's character; George wanted Nintendo to honor his actual appearance and give his character his 16-and-a-half-pack (which he gained as a result of the strength supplement that Neal created in 2342.

Simon Supplements - "Strong. Freakishly, freakishly strong."

WARNING: Side effects may include awesomeness. And the complete loss of testicles.

Photo by: Neal

Neal, on the other hand, cared very little about how his likeness was presented in video games. As a result, he offered his likeness rights to Street Fighter 6. The results were, to say the least, embarrassing to his friends and family, many of whom moved away, leaving no forwarding address or contact information. If you are out there Grandma, Neal misses you.

Neal found that being overpowered by Chun Li was notably arousing. At least to him.

In 1987, Neal organized a one-man a protest against Dial Corporation, demanding that they move their headquarters back to Chicago. Neal's rage was initiated by the split with Greyhound Lines (yes, the bus company - he really likes vehicles named after fast, skinny animals) and in anger he decided to boycott Dial soap and protest. Some people suggested he just follow Greyhound Lines, but his fear of Texas prevented him from heading to Dallas. So for 3 months Neal danced outside Dial Corporation's new headquarters in Phoenix, Arizona. While Neal's protest didn't garner any attention from either Dial Corporation or Greyhound Lines, it did inspire the title for Eleanor Bergstein's screenplay (up to then titled "A Corner for Baby"). "Dirty Dancing" became a huge hit, and Neal never received the credit for his inspiration. Surprisingly, George played the role of muse for part of the movie, too. John DeNicola and Franke Previte were inspired to write the song "Hungry Eyes" after meeting George shortly after a short circuit caused the teleportation device to erroneously reconstruct George with extra mouths where his eyes should have been (fortunately his eyes were relocated to his extra tongues, so he could see and scream at the same time).

Luckily the teleportation device replaced all George's body parts in their proper locations before he needed to eat a meal. That would have looked pretty nasty.

In 2012, George's sons Sam and Mike wondered if they had the potential to be as amazing as their dad and his friend Neal. Sam wanted to learn to make pottery. So George signed him up for the Fall 1987 pottery classes at Sunny Caverns Park District (because the cost of pottery classes was cheaper back then). Sam proved to be an incredible talent and made some very life-like works out of clay. His finest moment came when he sculpted a very realistic baby duckling!

When he was done it walked like a duck, swam like a duck, and quacked like a duck. Unfortunately it still broke like a ceramic pot.

Photo by: George

George's other son, Mike, entered the 2012 Olympics and took 1st place in the 100 meter dash, beating Usain Bolt by two whole strides! George was very proud that the boys got their looks from their mom, but inherited his ability to amaze.

In 1983 George convinced Patrick Stewart that it was time to change his hairstyle and shave his afro. Neal suggested a mohawk instead, which Patrick tried, but after a few months Patrick decided the mowhawk wasn't an edgy enough hair and it was time to go for a classically timeless skullet. He wore the skullet to great success as Gurney Halleck in 1984's Dune, however in 1987 Neal tried to talk Patrick into turning the skullet into Bozo hair, but he wisely refused and instead decided to go for the full cue ball effect. The glabrescent style became part of his trademark look and helped him land the iconic role of Captain Jean Luc Picard after Robert H. Justman, producer for a revival of a long-cancelled television show, saw Patrick while attending a literary reading at UCLA. The rest is, as they say, "Tea. Earl Grey. Hot."

'The Prime Directive is not just a set of rules; it is a philosophy ... and a very correct one. History has proven again and again that whenever mankind interferes with a less developed civilization, no matter how well intentioned that interference may be, the results are invariably disastrous, but not as disastrous as this hair cut.' - Jean Luc Picard

In 1904, just one year after Elmer Riggs published his paper stating that Apatosaurus and Brontosaurus were the same creature, George and Neal discovered the skeleton of a brand new sauropod during an archeological dig in Turkey Creek Canyon near Morrison, Colorado. While significantly smaller than Apatosaurus, George and Neal's discovery was interesting in the fact that it appeared to be bipedal and was discovered alongside what appeared to be a petrified outfit, consisting of a vest, gloves, and even a ray gun. To add to people's confusion they decided to name their new discovery "Brontosaurus II", or, more affectionately, Bronto Thunder. Over the next few years they discovered a wide range of heavily armed, bipedal dinosaur fossils. These discoveries were largely ignored (and openly ridiculed) by the scientific community, even though George and Neal used their time machine to travel back to 78,000,543 BCE to learn more about these fascinating creatures, bring them back to the present day, and join them on all sorts of wacky adventures. Finally, in 1987 The Coca-Cola Company took notice of George and Neal's publications in Paleontology Today, and decided to animate the adventures. Dinosaucers aired for one season in 1987 and 1988, adding to The Coca-Cola Company's list of '80s achievements, which also included New Coke (aka Coke II), Diet Coke, Cherry Coke, and Coca-Cola Telecommunications.

Coca-Cola Communications insisted on including Clem (on the left) in the animated series. George and Neal responded with "Who?"

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The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures through Time and Space (and Pudding)! is fully supported by... Well, nothing currently. We recently added ads (is that redundantly repetitive?) to our site in the hopes that we can earn a little bit of cash to pay to keep this site running. You see, all the piles and piles of money we make through our various business ventures, inventions, good fortune, and, ahem, other various schemes goes right back into funding for more research, travels, lawsuits, and general debauchery. So you see, there's nothing really left to keep this website going.

So, if you feel so inclined, you may graciously donate your organs, blood, or other bodily fluids to keep our website going. Or you could just send us a few bucks via PayPal, we're pretty easy like that (that's what she said). In return you'll gain the satisfaction of knowing that you are helping to educate millions and billions of individual cells (which really amounts to only a fraction of a person since it is estimated that the brain contains somewhere between 80-120 billion nerve cells (neurons), and neurons only make up about 50% of the cells in a human brain). Oh, and if you so request, we might include you in a future adventure (or maybe a past one).

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Thanks for reading, and we hope you're not too traumatized after your visit.

This site. The best. Bigly good. Those other sites? SAD. So sad. But George and Neal? I mean, trust me. I know good people. I know - I'm the best at knowing good people and you'd be amazed at what those guys can do. Fantastic job, you two.

Well, how about that! We got a comment from someone other than Clem or evil Bette. Thanks for your support Rich, we hope you're doing well, too. It's been a long time since we've talked, so we'll head back to 1998 and pay you a visit then. Bucket run?