About Me

I'm a stay at home Mom of two children and I have the unique privilege of being able to homeschool both of them. I am a stepmother to two older daughters one who is going to college. I enjoy shopping, baking, cooking, cleaning, organizing, running, clowning, making soap, playing piano and lately painting with ASCP paint! I am learning to enjoy the little things in life and make the most of it...clinging to my Savior through the tears that life brings and enjoying his GRACE He gives us every day! Thanks for stopping by!

Friday, June 24, 2011

My heart aches....I'm tired of seeing people in turmoil and pain. There seems to be chaos and heartbreak everywhere I turn lately. I know that God is there even in the midst of it all. I feel Him, I see Him work...but still I wonder...why so much suffering?

In suffering I realize that we learn more, become better people, stick closer to the things that matter, count the blessings, rely on one another, love one another, grateful for all things...even the littlest of blessings.

In my own life...there seems to be worry, and fear..trouble and torment. Nothin horrible going on...just life in general. I have children who are "good" children but doing things they shouldn't. How do I teach a good work ethic, how do I teach them not to gossip, to rely on God, to have a soft heart...I feel that I'm failing in so many areas. As we go on vacation I dread the whining, the selfishness, the mean words....yes, I'm being real...our family when we go on vacation its no picnic! I have two teenage girls who are ridiculously picky, I have an 11 yr old boy whose lot in life is to make those two girls lives miserable by just picking at them but lacks the "sarcasm" to "seal the deal". I have a four year old who is in the "prime" of learning to obey. Now before you think my children are horrible...they are not...after a couple of days of getting used to each other and removing as much of the outside world as possible...aka facebook....our family can be seen laughing, getting along..and having a wonderful time....its just....getting to that point! Why am I sharing this with you? I guess because I need encouragement, and prayer. Raising chidren is harder than it was when I was growing up. We didn't have cell phones, ipods, facebook, computer games, laptops, games that could interact with others that you don't know. There are so many things to keep on top of and check on. I find myself wishing we lived in the jungle of somewhere where no facebook, computer was allowed....and we could relish in the silence...in the wonder...of the simple things.

As I get ready to take my vacation and all the bad(the car sickness, the fights among siblings, the whining)may there be good...conversations about life and what God has done in our lives, memories that they will look back on fondly....time with family....whether its yelling or fighting or hugging or hitting....family vacations...hoping they will remember the good not the bad.

My sister and I were eight years apart and my lot in life was to make hers miserable. I wanted her to play with me but all she would play with were dumb ol barbies. So, my little ol self would take her barbies...and write all over them! Yes, I did....and laughed about it....I know, I was a horrible child! Even though she and I fought a lot....we still laugh about camper trips, her driving the car on family vacations (scary) and the time I fell out of the camper and she didn't even CARE! Yep, in the middle of the night....MOm asked her what that noise was and she felt around on the bed and said I wasn't there....thankfully my parents found me outside...STILL ASLEEP! Thank you my dear sister for your concern! So, you see....memories.....now I laugh....then I cried.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Twas the night before vacation and all through the house no one was stirring EXCEPT ME!!!! The little ones asleep dreaming happy vacation thoughts while I was awake...hoping that I had thought of every situation where we might need SOMETHING! Heaven help us if for sixty seconds we didn't have exactly the right thing that we needed!

I for one just need to go on here saying that once I get to the pool, the lake, the shopping....that I will be fine...that I will enjoy myself. It's just the GETTING there that makes me crazy..and the coming back...the laundry, the shopping...and how in the world does the house get dirty when no one is there?? Seriously, how does that happen?

We Moms are crazy aren't we? The kids come to us asking how many outfits, exactly what they'll be doing...and we have the checklist for each child ready to go at a moments notice...and if that's not enough I check through each childs bag...except for the older two...I just can't do it anymore! The medicine bag, the swim bag, the food bag, the vitamin bag, the snack bag, the entertainment bag...seriously...how many bags does one need??

I find myself right now...well honestly...feeling a bit like..."let's just get this over with so I can get back home to my safe haven"...something about all of that makes me realize...perhaps someone should count the gifts...hmmmmmm?

Nuff said!

216. Beautiful June days...cool enough to wear a jacket...unheard of in the midwest.
217. Friends who watch your kids so you can run errands and THINK!
218. Freshly mowed grass
219. Chinese food brought home so no cooking needs to be done:) Thank you hubby!
220. Finding chips for my E made with no corn!!! YIPPEEEE!
221. The color blue
222. Warm showers
223. The chime of our clocks

Life moves quickly...I've heard from several people today that Trey grew while he was at camp last week...he now is taller than me:) I'm holding on tightly to time...but it goes so quickly...the tighter I hold the faster it goes...so...deep breath....got my "bags" check, got my "attitude" check, got my "vacation" attitude readjusted! NO matter if we get lost, who forgets what...please don't anyone get car sick this year again...please!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

It is that time of evening that I love. Dinner is done, winding down from the day has begun. Cleaning of the kitchen is done...laughter and playing outside my kitchen window...then proceeded by screaming while big brother is once again tormenting little sister. I take a snapshot in my mind of these days...they are quickly fleeting.

Soon we are to go on a whirlwind of a vacation. We are a blended family and sometimes you just have to take those vacations when you can if not they will be gone...so vacations get thrown together...but we have decided to continue to visit our favorite places and fine tune them.

This year...I promise to take more pics...with me being in them. Every mother that I talk to says that they feel weird asking if they can be in the picture to...I've decided if I don't start including myself in them...I won't ever be photographed. It's not that I'm so amazingly beautiful that everyone must see my amazing beauty to go on living...its that my children might someday when I'm gone...like to look at those pictures WITH me beside them instead of behind the lens.

So, yes...capture all you can of their childhood...but let yourself be included in these photos...it will mean the world to them if you do....

This is one of our favorites from last years vacation: last year's vacation:

Monday, June 20, 2011

I didn't get to see my Dad today...I thought I would get to see him yesterday things didn't work out....so I have to wait a couple of weeks. However, I did think a lot about him today...and how much I loved him.

My Dad has had to do a lot of things that not to many Dad's have had to do. As the last of five daughters he was pretty tired by the time it got to me...that was o.k. I guess....I was a bit dramatic...

I have a temper like my Dad...but fearful what people may think of me...I can be stubborn like my Dad to...hold on to an idea...just to be difficult...even though I know its wrong...but when it comes down to it...I got my "grit" my "go getter" attitude from my Dad. The "don't give up, quit that crying, don't make me cry or I'll slap you!" attitude from my Dad...and that "survival" attitude is why I am who I am today.

Life isn't pretty...it beats you up pretty severely....the day I had to tell my Dad that I needed his help because I needed to separate from my first husband who was doing things he shouldn't....he took my son and my little ol self in...My Father was mad...I would have been to if it was my daughter. When we got the phone call that my love of my life had been killed in a car accident...no one cried harder than my Father....my Father doesn't cry...not EVER! That day...I needed him to cry...I needed everybody to cry...because I was completely broken. After that...he gave me shelter, helped me start over...let me go again when I met my husband who I have been almost married to for eight years.

I know that my Dad won't always be around and I'm thankful for the blessing that he is to me and my children...and I'm thankful for the times when he taught me to keep going, not to give up...and yes...even when he said not to cry. Sometimes as a girl you want to just sit down and cry...but that won't fix anything just make your eyes all scrunch up and cause wrinkles :)

So Dad....thanks...thanks for teaching me to be tough...and on the days that life really gives you something difficult...that its ok to sit down and cry....cause some days...nothing else but love from your family and a Holy God will make anything better.

I also appreciate the softer side...here you see pics of he and my E as he made her a playhouse...just like the one that I had when I was her age...that must have been a day when he wanted to cry....watching your daughter with her daughter...and knowing how quickly...how very quickly the time goes by...I still can't believe my E is four and that my T is 11...when did time go so quickly.

I look at these pictures of me when I was little...wow...time is our enemy.

Today as I celebrated with my husband who has four children....three girls and one boy. My boy.....my boy...is special to my heart...but I'm learning to let him go...its his father's turn...my time is ending...and I don't want it to but it is...

My boy...a gift...a perfect baby...my perfect gift. Without him..I'm not sure I would have made it those dark days...but I did with the help of his big blue eyes and amazing smile. He is as tall as me...I saw it today...while I sang praise music at church...wishing for when he was E's height...but knowing that he will grow closer to his father's height before its over...so I feel I have more time...and I'm holding on.

His Father...not his biological one but one that has raised him from the time he was three...and on. Their relationship...strained at times but growing ever stronger...as I release my hold.

The word Father, Daddy, Dad....just because you create a child doesn't mean that you are their father....what invesment have you made? My husband and my son....I pray for that relationship daily...one that has no biological ties can be strong but for the bond to be made comes from prayer...and patience...and mother....letting go.

Today...I celebrate the men in my life. The ones that made me strong...made me know when its ok to cry...to learn to cling to my Heavenly Father...and I'm blessed above measure!

Saturday, June 18, 2011

My one and only son just returned from a week of Boy Scout Camp. As of right now he earned three merit badges and has two projects to complete to earn more.

He enjoyed shooting, and watching Mic-O-Say. He enjoyed shooting a bow and arrow...he enjoyed lots of things that I can never teach him. He also learned how to get along with another bunkmate as they worked together in keeping their tent in order.

The weather while they were there was pretty good except for the last two nights when there were storms...I laid awake worrying...but Trey said he slept through the night with no worries and when he awoke all the leaders were sitting around sipping coffee....they were watching out for all our sweet boys! Thanks so much men that give up six nights and six days to spend with our boys!

The laundry he brought home was smelly. The fact that he never changed clothes even scarier...glad to see some of the underwear was changed...not so much the socks. He also never, not once...did he brush his teeth or shower....and its a fair bet the deoderant wasn't used either. I wanted to hug him when I picked him up but part of me was like....EWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

As I go down this road of motherhood I find myself completely confused by boys...they baffle me. How could you not use toothpaste for a week, deoderant, shower, changing of clothing???? I'm told by other mothers that their sons did the same.

176. Boys who want to be boys

177. That my T despite being filthy and have a ton of bug bites had a very good time and was returned to me safely.

178. Little sister loving her brother so much and so happy to see him today.

179. So thankful to live in a town where we are blessed with a wonderful boy scout camp

177. Thankful for the leaders who gave up their time to teach my son the "yucky" things that he needs to learn but this poor Momma....can't teach him.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

I found this on a blog I liked but don't remember where. So, I thought I would let you know how I liked it!

First you just need these ingredients:

2 1/2 cups of cold water
1/2 cup of Dawn
1/2 cup of corn syrup

I made four batches of this....but I would NOT suggest it unless you have several kiddos that are going to be using it at the same time. I made this thinking we could use it for several weeks....silly me! I'm getting ahead of myself....

Then I just used little dixie cups and she could put her wand in the solution...she enjoyed that greatly!

I had the cute little container sitting on her little porch of her playhouse...thought she could come and fill that and blow bubbles to her hearts content....she's such a big girl now!

WRONG! She's still just four and long story short....this is what we have left!

Monday, June 13, 2011

This was a challenge and one that I knew would took me awhile. I've been planning this for awhile and had all storage containers bought beforehand. From start to finish this took me four hours. I'm a bit tired...so I thought a little break would be good:)

First the problem: no organization whatsoever. The room was a mess constantly. I had to purge the room and put it into categories. My son T is interested in the following:
1. He loves to read
2. Loves beyblades
3. Loves legos
4. Loves music, computer games, video games.
5. Nerf guns of course!

He also is involved in boy scouts, awana, and various sports. There had to be a specific place for everything...not just an "idea". It had to be specific.

So here are the problems before we started:

Can anyone else relate to the mass confusion of this room??? Oh my WORD!

Oh, I've been looking for that vacuum attachment...silly me...should of looked in T's room!

and this is of course the most interesting thing I found....a rock...hanging up...yep!

Four hours later, and two trashbags full of forgotten junk...a labelmaker helper which turned into a school lesson as we spelled together and said all the letters the labels made....

Here's the end result:

First thing I did was completely take everything out of the closet and get rid of all trash. Then I put all games, and music in separate containers and labeled accordingly. I also made a separate container for his beyblades. I also had a separate cardboard flat box that containes all his "memories" like I laminated certain papers...he was photographed in the artscape magazine last year so that's in there....certain awards from awanas etc. This way...he has a place to put the next ones.

There were two frames buried that we had received from a missionary all the way from Africa made out of banana leaves. They don't go with his room but they certainly look awesome in his closet.

The blue and red shelves in the cubicles hold all things lego. The shelves hold awards from awana and derby. The basket holds library books by his bed.

It was hard to show you but I did get hanging drawers which look awesome. put jeans and sweashirts and church clothes put together so its easier for him to match:)

On the back of the door I made the shoe holder a hat holder and let just a few things like boy scout stuff and pens be in the holders. Before this was to hold things like games etc. but it wasn't working and he was putting everything in there. Some of this was him being lazy but the rest was me not putting a plan into place for him to help him be organized.

In case you don't think kids can learn to be organized my E who is four made a mess of her room. I told her to go upstairs and put her things away in the right containers. She did...she put everything away where it needed to go! It can be done....the key is purging and not making them be a "slave" to to much stuff....which is a lesson we are constantly learning!

AHHHHHH! Now I think that I will go open the closet door and stare at its organized bliss some more:)