Letters I'll Never Send

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I have known you for over a decade. Every year I can’t help but feel you’re more of a monster. You are the most irresponsible, manipulative, fake person I have ever met. You have a penchant for adopting things-animals, friends, children, in order to be affirmed as a good person by others. Then at the first sign of trouble you more-or-less kick them to the curb. There are days I wonder if you’re just horrifyingly clueless. Other days, I’m convinced you’re a sick caricature of what a human being is supposed to be. You don’t use the adoption of another human being as a way to try and win someone back. Seriously, that’s like getting pregnant to try and stop a spouse from leaving. The worst part is, you want everyone to fawn over you like some sort of saint for it. I wonder if you do anything that doesn’t involve other people telling you how wonderful you are.

I am so glad the marriage was cancelled. I don’t know what would have happened to poor M if you’d been bound together legally. You keep trying to reach out to us, and to me. You still want “family time.” You still want to pretend something about this is functional. Let go, and get help. Real help. Stop running from your problems by filling the void of your life through various forms of adoption, or through affirmation by other people. Seek some self-satisfaction maybe. Maybe realize that a good deed involves doing a good deed for goodness’ sake, not so you can have your ego rubbed. Maybe start taking responsibility for your decisions, and stop claiming constant victimhood for the situations you’re complicit in. Take responsibility for your attitude too. Wherever your path takes you, good luck, but I never want to see you again. I wish you’d stay away from me, my family, and my friends. You’re probably sincerely emotionally lost, and depressed, but I just can’t do this anymore.