Monday, February 11, 2013

Monday Weigh In: 304.5

Hold the celebration.... I am pretty sure this is just a fluke. Loosing 5 pounds in 1 week is unlikely. Loosing 5 pounds in a stressful week where you were not bad, per se, but were not as good as you should have been is just odd. So, for now I am happy to be down, but forcing myself to realize this will not be the result every week... or even most weeks.

So, last week I covered reasons I hate being fat. This week I am gonna ramble on about what I hope to gain through this experience.

First, I hope to lose weight. I am 5' 2" (almost). According to the online charts, my ideal weight is 119.5 - to which I call bullshit. 120 lbs for any 38 yr old woman is really just unrealistic. If I were 18, maybe... but probably not even then. To me, a more realistic weight for my size and age would be about 135 lbs. That said, I will be totally thrilled if I can get to 150 lbs. That said, the numbers don't necessarily matter. I will be happy when I can do the things I want to do without feeling exhausted, out of breath, and in pain. That is just a lot harder to set as a goal. Harder to measure.

Second, I hope to create a healthy lifestyle. I am fully aware that if you diet just to lose weight and then go back to the old habits, you will go back to the old weight. So, I am hoping to slowing establish some healthy habits that will carry me through to maintain the loss. Walking daily, being aware of what I eat (how much, how often)... that sort of thing. I don't want to live my life as a food/exercise Nazi. I want to get to the point where I don't have to think about it, it is just what I do.

Finally, I want to be happy. Sounds silly, but I want to be happy with who I am and how I am living my life. I don't want to constantly yell at myself for my failings. So, this will be a mindset change, and should really not be dependent on actually losing the weight. It may also be the toughest goal to reach.