1.30.2008

Sitting outside PlanoWestHigh School, waiting for Cassie. Watching the kids return from lunch…long hair, tight jeans, big jeans, leather coats, Uggs, Coach bags, Prada sunglasses, Dolce and Gabbana sweatshirts, Juicy sweat pants…the uber-popular, the emo, the loners. They are all trying to fit in. They are all trying to figure out how they fit into the world in general. I look at these kids and I do not feel even a little melancholy about those long lost high school days.

I hated high school.Hated it.We have already established exactly how shy I was.It consumed me.I was involved in activities, but didn’t venture out much – didn’t ever position myself outside of my comfort zone.I had some good friends.I have some good memories, but I WOULD NEVER DO THOSE YEARS OVER AGAIN.

In fact, When I really think about it, I am certain there are not many parts of my life I ever want to see again. Part of this is due to the shitty up-bringing I had.But a huge part of this is that I love my life now.If I were to change one thing in the past, would it alter the outcome, making my life now, different somehow?I wouldn’t want to risk that.I wouldn’t want to risk not marrying Todd.I wouldn’t want to risk not having my 4 kids.I wouldn’t want to lose the few close friends and family that I have.

How about you?Would you take a do-over?If so, what would you do differently?