March 2012

I knew this day would come. Today was that day when my lack of restraint, patience and overall personal editing was held up to my face like a mirror.

When Greg and I picked Liv up from school today, she was sitting quietly and playing Lego’s with a friend.
We were greeted by Miss Kelsey, one of Livia’s sweet teachers who proceeded to tell me my daughter was “funny” today.

“Livia was playing earlier with the Lego’s and knocked over one of her lego towers.”
She (Livia) then yelled out “SON OF A BITCH!”
Greg just looked at my with a look that says “This is all on you.”

Miss Kelsey replied “Livia! What did you say?”
To which Livia replied “SHIT!”
To which Miss Kelsey replied, “Livia! What did you say?”
To which Livia responded, “Darn-it?”

“Ok. That’s what I thought you said.”

So part of my giggled just a little bit on the inside. I mean come on. It is kinda funny.
At least she didn’t drop the F-bomb.
But then the responsible parent kicks in and thinks “I really need to watch what I say around this kid.”
Ya, good luck with that.

“Mom, I appreciate if you would eat your treat balls. I’m gonna put “them” right here so you can share wis me okay?
Mom? I appreciate that you can eat ’em wis me.
She takes a bite of the white chocolate truffle.

I ask, “what’s inside Livia?”
“Is butter,” she says with a huge grin on her cute little face.

I remember when I was 18, self-righteous, full of hypocrisy and thought I had the full story and knew everything.
Yep, those were the days when you feel immortal and that nothing you say and do will ever come back to haunt you.
And then you grow up and get a little “life dirt” on you and realize that you really don’t know everything; that you didn’t have the full story; that life is full of lessons – really hard lessons that you will hopefully not have to keep learning.
You regret decisions you made and things you said.
You realize that throwing stones from a glass house is not the best approach.

And, if and when you have children, you realize that your parents are very fallible human beings, just like you; that having kids is the best and most difficult thing you will ever do; that you have to suddenly redefine who you are and sacrifice in ways that you truly have no perspective of until you have children. Not always easy, but certainly the point of why we are here.
We don’t always get it right, but we try. It’s personal evolution.
One may not agree with the choices ones parents make, but until you have your own, your perspective will always be narrow.
It’s a very hard thing to distill and work through. It’s a life-long effort.
Avoidance does nothing but prolong the inevitable. You don’t ever get off that easy.

Age and experience, if nothing else, provides perspective.
Let’s talk in 20 years…