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THE BOHEMIAN 12.22.10-12.28.10

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THE BOHEMIAN
WIN NOT WINE NOTES NE OTES OT
San Francisco, Napa & Sonoma Valley December 26-31
Ho day H ld Holiday
Holiday Fun Holiday Fun with Friends a Fa ly h Friends and Family amil
Looking to entertain out-of-town guests during the holidays? Visit any of the Looking to entertain out-of-town guests during the holidays? Visit any of the following wineries between Christmas and New Year 's and toast to family, following wineries between Christmas and New Year's and toast to family, friends and the good life. Many discounts on wine and merchandise will be friends and the good life. Many discounts on wine and merchandise will be extended for this special celebration week. We will also be serving our extended for this special celebration week. We will also be serving our holiday hot chocolate, so bring t he kids! holiday hot chocolate, so bring the kids!
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THE BOHEMIAN
Big Sale
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Avenue Costumes
The death of a government career
By Molly Wolf
have, for the last month and a half, come back into my body, my spirit, my heart and my home. I have been gone for years, not realizing that the end of an era, mine, had its own trajectory, and that I would naturally emerge from the wreckage of my civil service career. Over a decade ago, I had the chance to volunteer to be laid off from a lucrative job when my manager told me that my coworker would be terminated the next day as layoffs rippled through the company. On that evening, I felt lucky to make that offer for the man who was my friend and coworker. As the company shaved its staff, my friend had time to seek other, more secure, employment. For me, this sacrifice allowed me to exit with power and with pride. I have never regretted that move. But the trail does not end with our hero riding off, the bad guys vanquished. Instead, I began a career of public service, beginning as an entry-level clerk for local government after a monolithic application process. I started at the bottom and worked with honesty, diligence and compassion. It took me six years before I reached a position of authority and responsibility. I was told by my supervisors, my coworkers and the public I served that my professional reputation was respected and admired for all that I was able to accomplish as a government worker. Yet in the end, it all began to unravel, and no one seemed to care. Being a part of a union did not help me nor did I feel supported by my union. In fact, when I asked them to intervene in our office as the mucky-mucks began to restructure, they said they would stand behind me as I laid my neck on that bloody chopping block. So much for a decade of union dues. Over the past year, I watched as the head of the office began to restructure office positions and methods as the county department heads were directed to reduce their budget by 20 percent. I watched as procedures were created to deal with staff reductions and I felt these changes were unethical and dishonest. I felt that I could no longer represent the people of Sonoma County as an honest, fair, forthright public servant. I had to make excuses for all we could no longer offer to the very people I was asked to serve. Finally, I was asked, in a staff meeting, to obscure the methods we used from the public. I was asked to lie about our new timesaving methods. And so this is where the final showdown began as the end of the fiscal year came into view. There was no sheriff 's posse to come to my aid. My union was nowhere in sight. My sense of ethics was threatened and so was my reputation. Monday morning meant I was that much closer to being asked to lie in order to support my wages. I talked to my friends and my family for direction. I tried to talk to my coworkers, but they all seemed like cattle in the shoot without a Temple Grandin in sight. Our officer manager used the Jonestown analogy of "drinking the KoolAid" in a staff meeting, and I boiled with anger and regret over how such an honorable career had become so dirty. In the end, it was really the values upon which I was raised by Depression-era parents and upon which I live my life that illuminated the exit sign. I was hired to represent the public with honesty and fairness. However, I was directed, at the end, to let the computer program purchased with tax funds to make that choice. I was asked to lie about the source of the decision. I clicked the mouse and, therefore, I was responsible for the deceit. I chose to leave before I had to lie about my work. It was with sorrow and with a great sense of personal honor that I chose to end this career. I am getting free, and it shows on my face. You can find me volunteering at three different nonprofits, running around Spring Lake, writing, reading, hiking to Lake Ilsanjo during the week, going to the gym. I am coming back into my life. I do not regret my decision. However, I still seek an employer who can appreciate a trailing-edge baby boomer who still believes in hard work, honesty and fairness with service to others as its mission. Wish me luck. I think I shall need it.
Molly Wolf lives in Santa Rosa. Open Mic is a weekly feature in the Bohemian. We welcome your contribution. To have your topical essay of 700 words considered for publication, write openmic@bohemian.com.
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THE BOHEMIAN
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Thank you so much to Leilani Clark for shedding a bit more light on the disgusting, cowardly, pro� David Rabbitt "Sanctuary Is No Picnic" mailer sent out like a sucker punch at the last minute of the campaign for county supervisor ("The Fallout of Fear, Postage Paid," Dec. 15). I hope "we"--including the Press Democrat and Argus-Courier--keep pursuing this matter until those responsible are outed individually and publicly. Then we might have a chance to clear the air and have a real conversation about immigrants and their integral part in our local economy and culture.
Congratulations for running the important story by Leilani Clark about the despicable mailers defaming Second District supervisorial candidate Pam Torliatt. Over the past years I have fumed and fussed about the arrogant, misleading spin printed on postcards and mailings. The incorrect accusation that Torliatt overtly, whole-heartedly supported "sanctuary" is business-as-usual at the Press Democrat. Thanks for having the courage to publish this well-written, carefully documented story. If only more reporters were like Leilani Clark, and more local publications were courageous like the North Bay Bohemian.
The Racial Justice Allies of Sonoma County are deeply troubled by the racism used in David Rabbit's election campaign. We demand that the Sonoma County Alliance retract its false characterization of immigrants as murderers. We thank the Bohemian for highlighting this critical issue. As a multicultural group, we are troubled that those who have the power to define which issues are important and the means to create a public discourse are using those advantages to dehumanize and create fear. The campaign mailer not only scapegoated immigrants, it was a gift to white people who wish to do harm without public scrutiny. As anti-racist allies, we expect more from those in power. Rather than racist generalizations, we demand an honest discourse that addresses the actual issues at hand. For example, should county employees collaborate with ICE when facilitating the deportation of persons not convicted of serious crimes? Does the free flow of private money into political campaigns encourage this type of propaganda? We invite anyone from David Rabbitt's campaign, anyone from the Sonoma County Alliance and any concerned members of the community to join us in conversation at our next meeting on Jan. 20, at 6:30pm, at 547 Mendocino Ave. in Santa Rosa.
The unemployed get their benefits extended for 13 months, while the wealthy get theirs extended for two years! There is certainly something wrong with this deal. Thank you Lynn Woolsey for standing strong and voting no on this piece of unfair and unbalanced legislation.
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THE BOHEMIAN
news for Sonoma, Marin & Napa Counties
"Official Newspaper of the Bailey Building & Loan"
y
If Marin is successful, plastic bags would be banned, paper would cost a nickel and reusable bags would look even more attractive.
y
Big plastic, big green dreams and the little lies that push public opinion
By Kylie Mendonca
tephen Joseph is the attorney and spokesperson for a particularly litigious Bay Area group called Save the Plastic Bag Coalition, and he's gruff and nippy when he answers the phone, without so much as a customary hello. Talking to him doesn't get easier as the minutes tick by. "You're wasting my time," he says outright. "If you haven't read the website, you're wasting my time." In fewer than seven minutes, this conversation has become ugly. It will soon end, as abruptly as it began. The next question asked is about the fact that the group he represents doesn't list the names of any of its members on the website. Why doesn't the Save the Plastic Bag Coalition even name the companies that fund it? Click. Joseph hangs up. "All we want," he'd said before slamming down the phone, "is that the environmental truth is told." The truth, according to court documents, is that the Save the Plastic Bag Coalition is a group of plastic bag manufacturers and distributors that have used the California Environmental Quality Act (CEQA) to sue several cities and counties in California, including Oakland and Palo Alto, over ordinances that ban single-use plastic grocery bags. In the North Bay, Marin County will likely be the next defendant to face legal action should county supervisors pass a plastic bag ordinance Jan. 4. At a Dec. 14 meeting, the Marin Board of Supervisors unanimously approved the language for an ordinance that would ban plastic bags and add an additional 5 cent fee to paper bags. At this point, the language has only to be adopted after the new year begins. The ordinance would not go into effect until 2012. Joseph says he plans to ask the county to complete a costly environmental impact report before they pass the ordinance. Deputy county council, David Zaltsman, said he has been in contact with Joseph but has not yet received any official request for an EIR, while county supervisor Charles McGlashan remains firm. "Well, he can ask for an EIR," McGlashan says, "but we're not going to do one. This is a categorically exempt issue. We think we are on very solid ground, legally." For Marin County, this has been an ongoing effort that began more than five years ago, with the dedicated efforts of McGlashan leading the way. The effort was briefly halted earlier this year when the California Legislature seemed poised to pass a more sweeping bill to ban plastic bags statewide. That effort failed and, in fact,
THE BOHEMIAN 12.22.10-12.28.10
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resulted in a law that prohibits California retailers from adding a surcharge to plastic bags. Despite these setbacks, McGlashan says the county plans to make its Green Business Certification Program more stringent by requiring businesses to be completely singleuse-bag-free within the next three years. Banning plastic grocery bags is highly fashionable among cities wishing to "go green." San Francisco, naturally, was the first U.S. city to do it, in 2007, and the idea quickly seeped out into the rest of the state. Since the initial ordinance in San Francisco, however, many questions have come up concerning the actual environmental impact of banning plastic bags. The suits brought by the Save the Plastic Bag Coalition play devil's advocate to the notion that banning plastic bags is good for the environment. The Coalition, under CEQA, has demanded that cities and counties complete EIRs to prove that banning plastic bags won't do more harm than good. The Coalition maintains that many of the detrimental effects of plastic bags on the environment have been blown out of proportion. "There is a tremendous amount of misinformation out there," Joseph says, pointing to a leaflet from the county of Marin, that reads, "Certain chemicals found in plastics (especially BPA, phthalates, PFOA, PFOS, polystyrene and additives such as antimony, cadmium and lead) are associated with a who's who of modern disorders, including asthma, cancer, diabetes, obesity, premature puberty and reproductive failure." Joseph calls statements like these "fabrications." Further, he says the number of incidents concerning marine animals ingesting plastic bags has been grossly overestimated. Marin County officials are being careful to point out that their ban is not just about plastic, and it's not about paper versus plastic. The ultimate goal, according to McGlashan, is to move away from single-use bags completely. That is what Marin County is banking on when and if its initiative is challenged in court. Shortly after San Francisco's ban went into effect, the cities of Oakland and Fairfax passed similar ordinances. Like San Francisco, they claimed exemptions from completing EIRs on the basis that their new laws would only have a positive impact on the environment. The Save the Plastic Bag Coalition sued the city of Oakland, and Oakland lost. The ordinance was repealed. When Fairfax was presented with a legal challenge to its ordinance, the city chose not to go to court based on Oakland's experience, and voluntarily nullified the ordinance. (Fairfax voters then overwhelmingly passed Measure C, which prohibited plastic bags and was not subject to the same CEQA regulations.) Though Marin will likely face a legal challenge, county supervisors are not going into the process blind. "Our belief," Zaltsman says, "is that with the charge on paper bags, people will be forced into using reusable bags. . . . That's what distinguishes our ordinance from others. We believe we are exempt under CEQA, because in addition to the ban on plastic, we also have the charge on paper." His theory is yet to be tested in court.
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THE BOHEMIAN
's night K Jer ry Historic
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New Years Eve Party!
Peggy Day & the Gypsy Knights Detroit Disciples world famous Buddy Owen Band Samuka - Carnival Dancers
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Promote Your Green Business in our new section "Going Green" Call Today @ 707.527.1200 and ask for rates, sizes and expert tips! The Bohemian is "Going Green" Every Week!
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With its founder recovering from stroke, Patchworks Farm seeks community help
By Juliane Poirier
hen I heard that Noel Schmidt, humanist founder of Patchworks Farm in Santa Rosa, had suffered a severe stroke and was in the hospital, I wanted to do anything I could to help. Many others whose lives have been touched even peripherally by Schmidt are collectively thinking about ways to keep Patchworks Farm open and serving the kids of Sonoma County until its founder can recover and return to the farm. If you live in Sonoma County, your life has already been improved by the work going on at Patchworks, because it's a place where vulnerable kids find nature, functioning sustainability and encouragement that they might not find elsewhere. It creates a positive ripple effect. "Part of the reason I want to keep Noel's nonprofit healthy while he is recovering," says Judy Greaney, who is in charge of community-based learning at Ursuline High School, "is to keep the students coming to the farm he created." Greaney, who's known Schmidt for over 20 years and worked with him at the inception of the farm, explains that Patchworks started as a rescue farm for horses that provided animal therapy for homeless children. "They rehabilitated the horses and brought kids in from the homeless shelter and taught them how to ride and how to care for the horses," explains Greaney. "Noel and others also repaired old bicycles and made them available for children whose families could not afford to purchase them." Patchworks expanded and shifted from horse rehabilitation to an outdoor sustainability classroom. Several years ago, a few students asked to build a biodiesel station, and Schmidt was the one who gave them a place to do it. That was the beginning of student-driven environmental learning projects. From there, Patchworks added a garden and some chickens, and the adults made room for students to choose projects. Two years ago, Patchworks was one of several recipients of a $39K grant from State Farm to support student-originated sustainability projects. Aware that the world ecological balance is suffering from widespread incidents of colony collapse disorder, students decided to keep bees at Patchwork. They are still caring for those bees, even through the winter--and the crisis that put Schmidt in the hospital for five weeks. Now back at home, Schmidt faces what his daughter Anna calls "a long road ahead" in terms of recovery. Anna, one of Schmidt's five children, tells the Bohemian that people everywhere have responded compassionately to the news. "When he first had the stroke, he couldn't talk or move himself at all," says Anna. "Now he can talk, process information and walk with a walker and someone there helping him. His spirits are high. The doctors are saying he may recover, and though everyone's brain is different, I expect him to make a full recovery." Meanwhile, Patchworks Farm's largest obstacle is that Schmidt is the spokesperson for the farm, the one who normally goes out and gets the funding to keep the place running. The nonprofit also happens to provide Schmidt's income and the medical insurance that he is dependent upon throughout his recovery. Margo Hardy, Noel's niece, is the point person for a fundraiser to be held in early 2011 benefiting Patchworks. "We are in the very beginning stages of creating a fundraiser, but we need people to continue to support the mission of Patchworks," says Hardy. "People can help while Noel is unable to do the outreach that he normally does during this time." The Patchworks mission is to inspire, connect, foster and provide the tools necessary to educate and engage students in the environmental education programs and projects. "These are really get-your-hands-in it projects," says Hardy, "and Noel's vision of ecoliteracy and restoration has really enriched the lives of kids." Tax-deductable donations can be made to support Patchworks by visiting www. patchworksfarm.org and clicking "Support Us." Donations may also be mailed to Patchworks Farm, PO Box 9365, Santa Rosa, CA, 95405. Those who wish to give time and energy to the upcoming fundraiser may contact organizer Margo Hardy at hardym@ comcast.net.
707-579-1459 www.kindredhandcrafts.com
Suzanne Wandrei
EcoGreen Certified 2006 Sebastopol Realtor of the Year
Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage 101 Morris Street - Suite. 100 Sebastopol, CA 95472
cell: 707.292.9414 Please call cell first office direct: 707.824.4260
`Noel's vision of eco-literacy and restoration has really enriched the lives of kids.'
www.suzannewandrei.com
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THE BOHEMIAN
What the hell, we're splurging on the bubbly this year. Take that, Cook's!
Our guide to 2010's best sparkling wine over $25
By James Knight
t the end of 2009--a year whose demise, many of us reported, we couldn't wait to toast--the Bohemian offered readers a guide to getting tight on a tight budget with some of the North Bay's finest sparkling wines costing less than $25. This year, we look back upon a recovering economy in which bankers prospered, and the housing market, um . . . and unemployment, um . . . and don't forget the grape harvest, which saw disaster followed by rain . . . aw, screw it. We call party-time. It's the holidays, folks. It's New Year's Eve! Let's check the scrimpy, crimpy budgety thing at the door--for now--and put 2010 on ice with the help of some of the finest bubbly from North Bay wineries. This year, we look at middle and top-tier sparklers, some of which have been in bottle since the start of this decade, blissfully sleeping it through. We can always write ourselves a New Year's resolution the next morning: "I will not splurge on delightfully tongue-tingling effervescent spirits to share with some of my best friends and relations . . . until everybody gets a tax cut." Done. Wines were blind-tasted and scored on a scale of 1 to 5 by Bohemian staff and freelance writers, who, like the squirrelly, creative souls that they are, also liberally added their own inventive comments. Mumm Napa Brut Reserve ($36) Bright and clean. Aromas of lemon blossom and saltine cracker lead to crisp, Pinot Grigio�like flavors in this roundly-lauded, well-balanced sparkler: "Sea monkey bubbles; Middle Earth in the springtime; full body, fresh construction; hits all pleasure mouth points; perfectly balanced carbonation; elfin sweat; like a delicious piece of wood." Score: 4.4 Mumm Napa 2001 DVX Napa Valley ($60) This late-disgorged, signature sparkling, named for founder Guy Devaux, has a freshness that put it ahead of others. Faint cream and f loral, citrus blossom aromas lead to an elegant, airy mousse that fills the mouth with light bubbles: "Lemon cheesecake; tobacco farm, with soft puppetry; comfort; reminds me of the NYE party in which I played soccer with two dogs in the rain." Score: 4 Gloria Ferrer 2002 Royal Cuv�e Carneros Brut ($32) Softer and slightly sweeter than the rest of the bruts, this cuv�e of mostly Pinot Noir shows hints of chamomile and rosemary with cream, baked biscuit and elderflower, with a less assertive, creamy mousse: "Flowery; refined, wellbalanced palate; lush, lingering; elegant, smooth; sweet and light, like KOIT-FM; Disney princess Champagne--tastes pink; very sexy, fill 'er up." Score: 4 Domaine Chandon �toile Brut ($40) Honey, apple cider character with aromas variously described as Christmas candle or Moroccan market, comes on strong with honeyed,
THE BOHEMIAN 12.22.10-12.28.10
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roiling bubbles that cut out fast, leaving a long-lingering, pleasant finish: "Midfizz sweep and soft, lingering ride; honeyish, both sweet and dry; musky campfire; nice fizz, throat-zap, but I can take that." Score: 3.5 Gloria Ferrer 1999 Carneros Cuv�e ($50) Nine years aging on the yeast lent this latedisgorged sparkler a complex bouquet likened to aged cheese, espresso crema, a grotto or warm bed sheets. A spirited mousse in this still-lively vintage lead abruptly to a low-key, golden-raisin flavored finish. Opinion split: "Like an unfinished story; aggressive, punchy; smooth, light, lemon honey; assertive, confident, choose your own adventure; smells like Jem and the Holograms, but tastes like the Misfits. Bordering on the Bikini Kill of sparkling wines." Score: 3.3 Domaine Carneros 2006 Carneros Brut ($26) Clean and lean, with a lemony, roiling mousse and austere finish, this brut was thought to be structurally solid, simple, easy to like: "Aroma of flowery twilight, businesslike taste; bubbly tinkerbell, light and fluffy; Laffy Taffy; rustic bubble; something served at a company holiday party." Score: 3.2 Iron Horse Vineyards 2005 Classic Vintage Brut ($34) While a temporary sulfurous edge to the earthy, lagered aroma lingered too long for some, grapefruit-tart flavors and lively, assertive fizz won over the other half: "A Mendocino closetful of clothes; mushroomy, robust and dank, a cave monk's Champagne; Pop Rocks; taste better than aroma, nice acidity." Score: 3 Mumm Napa 2006 Blanc de Blanc ($30) Classic, clean. With just two of us noting a faint bouquet of yeast, this quite bubbly bubbler had an austere, metallic edge to granny smith, golden pear f lavors: "citrusy, fizzy then f lattens out; dry; concentrates on tip of tongue; zaps sides of tongue; hecka bubbles, doesn't kick into hella." Score: 2.7 Schramsberg 2003 J. Schram ($100) Leading with vanilla, toasted nut and biscuit with a hint of Frangelico, this full-bodied, Chardonnay-based North Coast blend had significantly more weight and a finer mousse than the rest, managing at the same time a perry finish of lager-like austerity--a style that much of the group evidently does not like as much as I do: "Too aged, unfamiliar; lemony, no explosions; meatloaf; old sneakers; believe it was a bad bottle, sneaker all the way through; Sour Patch Kids." Score: 2.3 Iron Horse Vineyards 2005 Green Valley Ultra Brut ($50) Spartan in aroma, with the tartly creamy tang of hollandaise sauce and smartly constructed top-palate action, this was the Lift-Off Lemon of the lineup. It got everybody's attention, but few could get around its persistent, ultra-tart finish: "Grapefruit taste, lingering flavor; sour-tasting; tinny; Metallica, sour grass, ADHD bubbles; asparagus tones with merrygo-round bubbles; cranberryesque, like the fruit and the awful band." Score: 2.1
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THE BOHEMIAN
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THE BOHEMIAN 12.22.10-12.28.10
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uring the holidays, the warm feelings in my heart always glow brightest in the kitchen, where I like to prepare a festive treat called White Christmas.
D
When I was in college, a stoner friend announced that he could smoke more pot with less post-nasal drip when he quit eating milk products. Until then, I'd never even contemplated the meaning of "post-nasal drip" beyond its status as a mildly amusing medical term. But the term lingered in my head, joined by images of the phlegm I would sometimes hack up, loudly, and launch great distances with the sound of a whale clearing its blowhole. At the time, I was eating bovine cr�mes with reckless abandon, in sandwiches, soup and coffee; on salad, bread, brownies, pasta. It was anything-goes with the bovine cr�me, like the sexual revolution in San Francisco, pre-VD, with white clam sauce and tiramisu instead of coke-fueled orgies. When, for the sake of that possible post-nasal drip, I stopped consuming bovine cr�mes cold turkey, I began feeling better almost immediately. Meanwhile, I began exploring the possibilities of a very special nonbovine cr�me, one that works in almost any situation bovine cr�me would be called for. I call it Special Cr�me, though it's known to most as mayonnaise. Its prize characteristic is making that which goes into your mouth more delicious. On steamed broccoli and toast in place of butter, on pasta instead of Parmesan, with lox on bagels instead of cream cheese, with chips and salsa, on steak and potatoes or leftover Chinese food. In Siberia, mayo is widely considered more valuable than vodka. When you place a jar of mayo on the table as you sit down to eat, it's a bold statement and people take notice. Curiosity and skepticism are common first reactions as you drop a dollop of that lily-white mouth-pleasing goodness onto your dish. If you're able to get spectators to become participants by accepting an offered dollop of their own, odds are good they'll have a jar of their own on the table someday. Whenever I dollop Special Cr�me into soup or breakfast tacos, an ordinary day becomes like Christmas. And that's the true meaning of a White Christmas: any dish with a dollop of Special Cr�me. And unlike Christmas, you can have Special Cr�me every day.
Ari LeVaux
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THE BOHEMIAN
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70 7-575 -9 29 6 707-575-9296 2478 W. Third St 2478 W. Third St S a nt a R osa Santa Rosa 70 7- 829 - 8 8 8 9 707-829-8889 In Downtown In Downtown Seba sto ol Sebastopol eb op
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El Radio Fantastique, unofficial winners of "press photo of the year," play off the last 12 months at the Woods in Mill Valley.
Nearly every way to drink, dance and kiss your year away
By Bohemian Staff
he tax bill, the election, the DREAM act, Sarah Palin's Alaska--sheesh! When even Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds break up, you know it's time to throw in the towel on 2010 and kiss the year goodbye. Here's a ton of ways to make the turning of the calendar an intoxicating, confetti-filled, highkicking, get-down relief. noon--the "other" 12 o'clock. Why root beer? It doesn't make sense? Of course it all makes sense! It's for the families and sobriety. See how it all works together? Sure, we often wake up on New Year's Day thinking, "What is this beast sleeping next to me?" For a truly unforgettable New Year's Eve, Safari West is making that question quite literal with its second-annual Romp with the Beasts party. For $100, guests can dine, dance and drink the year away at a party befitting the wilderness; or, for $377, two adults can do all of the above and spend the night with wild animals in a luxury safari tent/treehouse with full accoutrements. Morning breakfast consists of mimosas and a walk with the exotic wild animals. No, it's not a joke! Yes, it's advance-reservation only. The Chicago Sun Times called him "a tremendous talent with a poet's soul." We call him our longtime homeboy who just keeps getting better, especially with this year's record Between Motion and Rest. On New Year's Eve, Eric Lindell brings his unique brand of country-infused jazz to his stomping grounds at the Forestville Club, one of Sonoma County's favorite dive bars, for just $35. Blues hounds can open wide and pop some beer bites to the free electric vibe of the Aces at the Russian River Brewing Company. The band's many interests include spontaneous human combustion--a scientific possibility-- to go along with New Year's fireworks. By the time New Year's Day arrives, you might end up wondering where all that heat is coming from. Hint: it's the Aces, combusting all over 2010. (Yes, you just read that.) If 2011 promises an upswing in the economy, let's hope for an upswing in world peace as well. Sebastopudlians channel their inner gods
THE BOHEMIAN 12.22.10-12.28.10
Sonoma County
Let's start during the day--early in the day. In Santa Rosa, it's basically part of city law that before tucking in every night, everyone's last thoughts will be, what would Charlie Brown do? Simple: attend the Schulz Museum at 10am and have a root beer toast and balloon drop at
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and goddesses for the New Year's Eve Dances of Universal Peace at the Sebastopol Community Center. A $20 admission gets you sacred circle dancing, singing and more peace on earth than a Bing Crosby and David Bowie duet. One can experience the redwood forests and Gulf Stream waters without ever having to leave Petaluma on the big night. The Cinnabar Theater celebrates the new year with the opening of `Woody Guthrie's American Song,' last seen in flash-mob form at the local Whole Foods Market. Featuring two dozen of the beloved folk musician's songs, the show is a musical journey into American life. And with tickets only $35, who wouldn't want to tag along? The show runs through Jan. 23, but before the opening performance, a New Year's Eve gala gets attendees in the spirit with dessert, Champagne and some dancing tunes for $60. In Petaluma, celebrants can welcome 2011 with a greasy-plate helping of the blues with a side of rock. For $50, the bash at the Mystic Theatre in Petaluma features the Tommy Castro Band as they play a special 20th anniversary show with founding members Randy McDonald and Shad Harris, as well as Billy Lee Lewis, playing songs from every record they've ever recorded. NorBay winners Frobeck open with their unique coleslaw of rock and pop. Twenty-eleven goes strip-style for Viva Las Vegas at Chrome Lotus in Santa Rosa with DJ Beej and John Huntington. The night includes music, dancing, drinks and a balloon drop--but wait, there's more! If you make your way through the balloons and find the "golden ticket," you win a trip for two to Las Vegas, which includes a stay at the Palms resort, a tour of Sin City with the owner of Huntington Ink, and returning to California with a brand-new tattoo. For reals. Valley Ford's Rocker Oysterfeller's has not only a name that's fun to say, but a $65 fourcourse dinner featuring Dungeness crab as well as options for the non-seafoodies. After dinner, guests can wander across the street to the Fish Bank where DJs will be spinning dance tunes with a full cocktail bar as well as an oyster and caviar bar for just $10. Out in Guerneville at the recently renovated River Theatre, there's a quadruple bill of Stone Crow, Broken Ties, Ice and Wasted Morality. Just kidding! Those are all bands from 1986. But to those who used to frequent the theater when it was a haven for metal and punk bands, the news that Jerry Knight this year bought the building and fixed it up is a tug on the sentimental heartstrings of the hesher world. The big New Year's Eve party this year features Peggy Day & the Gypsy Knights, the Detroit Disciples, the Samuka carnival dancers and the Buddy Owen Band. At just
$15, it's a great way to check out the hallowed hall in its reopened glory. Sebastopol's Hopmonk Tavern features Melvin Seals and JGB in homage to the greatest nine-and-a-half-fingered guitarist that ever lived with a full balloon drop and, in a distinctly brewpub-style twist, an IPA toast for just $40. Take that, Dom P�rignon! . . . Over in similarly laid-back Cotati, the Pulsators take over the Tradewinds while the cheap shots flow for only $15. . . . The French Garden in Sebastopol hosts the Susan Comstock Swingtet for $25 and an optional dinner beforehand for $75. . . . At the Last Day Saloon in Santa Rosa, the Fast Eddie Band plays hits from the '60s through the '80s with the requisite bubbly pour and balloon drop for just $12. . . . And up near the SRJC, Jayne, Russell & Wilson take over Gaia's Garden for a small crowd of 50 people at $20 a head.
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Part of the show's description warns that "this show contains adult material," but unfortunately, the chances of Bill Maher stripping to Superman Underoos at the Marin Center in San Rafael are slim. Instead, the comedian and TV host is more likely to deliver a healthy booty call to gut-busting laughter. The show's sold-out, and so is the New Year's Day appearance at the Lincoln Theater in Yountville, but miracles can happen (for a price, on Craigslist). For $30, revelers can laugh in the new year with the Best of the SF Comedy Competition in the Showcase Theater at the Marin Center in San Rafael. Producers Anne and Jon Fox have a lasting record of topquality comedians; this year features Paul Ogata, Maureen Langan and more for the laugh factor. . . . At the Osher Marin Jewish Community Center, Michael Davis and Geoff Bolt bring comedy, juggling and who knows what else to support the main act, Kevin Meany, who even looks like Jonathan Winters! Wear your big pants and make sure not to lost the house on the $55 admission. At 142 Throckmorton Theatre in Mill Valley, the jokes continue with resident funnyman Mark Pitta as he "pits" his laughola skills against Orny Adams in a year-end yukfest for $50. Marin musicians Austin de Lone and Jimmy Dillon provide the tunes for glass refillin', and at a venue where Robin Williams and Sammy Hagar are known to show up out of the blue, there's no telling what might happen. Designated drivers rejoice! The San Geronimo Golf Course knows how valuable you are on this night of nights. For safe and sober drivers attending San G's New Year's Eve Bash, free unlimited soft drinks are offered as well as a discounted price of $50 for dinner. Otherwise $55 gets partiers a dinner menu featuring such items as spinach bacon salad, medallions of salmon with capers and, of course, the requisite glass of champagne at midnight. Sky Blue takes the
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Hot Buttered Rum packs the tiny 19 Broadway nightclub for a nu-grass nu-year.
stage until the big countdown; foregoing dinner, guests can dance in the shade of the 18th fairway for just $18. The brand-new, closed-due-to-fire and then recently resurrected George's Nightclub isn't going to let a little fire get it down, though Lydia Pense and Cold Blood threaten to get the place burning again with rousers like "I Just Want to Make Love to You" in a $65 party session at the Fourth Street hotspot in San Rafael. . . . And at Fairfax's 19 Broadway, who better to bring down the house than Hot Buttered Rum? It's a relatively small venue for the boys, it's in Marin's most 420-friendly town and it's only $25. Allow midnight to fly by in a haze of hilarity at San Rafael's Palm Ballroom, where Emmy winner Rita Abrams takes over the harbor-side venue with a star-studded group of friends for her Five-Star Revue. For $45, partiers can bust a gut as Abrams offers her witty and satirical take on topics like aging, relationships and current events with Valentina Osinski, Darlene Popovic, Joe Osborn and Sean O'Brien. Button up, bring your single--by choice!-- self out to Embassy Suites Hotel in San Rafael and celebrate with other similar relationship-status peers. Footwear and dressy clothing are requirements, so no bare feet, y'all, and the entry fee of $20 nets a party hat. Top it all that off with DJ Darryl K for some extra fizzle to go along with your fruity drink. Right before it's set to temporarily close for renovations, the Woods in Mill Valley rolls out the red carpet for an evening of vaudeville madness featuring El Radio Fantastique. Burlesque dancers, fire performance and circus freaks? Yes, please. Leave your stuffy Champagne toasts at
home, and instead break out the absinthe for this free spirited, $50-a-head shindig.
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For a Tuscan-style New Year, welcome the stroke of midnight at Castello di Amorosa, a gigantic castle and winery hosting a Masquerade Ball. For $275, masked faces, winetasting, a five-course candlelit dinner and owning the dance floor with Nepata & the Chocolate Kisses can be yours. Finish the night with bubbly and the removal of masks to reveal who you just made out with in the stone-wall courtyard. All aboard! The Old World romance of a moonlit train ride can't be beat, unless a better train ride features alcohol and masked faces. That's right, masks. Drink it in Phantom of the Opera�style for the party on wheels that is the Midnight Masquerade with the Napa Valley Wine Train. With wine, seafood, music and dancing, it's $225 for the Gourmet Express and $255 for the "Vista Dome" car. The afterparty? It's in the station till 1am. It may be a little early in the year for Carnival, but Domain Chandon in Napa throws caution (along with a handful of feathers and sequins) to the winds as it hosts its annual Glitter Ball. This year's Carnival-themed party features a five-course dinner, live music and dancing. $275 gets you a formal portrait, party favors and a Champagne toast at midnight. At Silo's in Napa, shake a tail feather to Amato and Vinson, "simply the best Blues Brothers tribute today." There's a $30 early show for buzzkills and a $75 late show for diehards; by the time "Minnie the Moocher" plays and the confetti drops, see if you can find your own fedora.
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The year's top five theater disappointments
By David Templeton
t's mathematical. When one sees as many plays as I do (between 60 and 70 a year), it's only logical that a certain number of those shows will end up among my favorites for that particular year. I keep all of my ticket stubs in a box and review them each December as the year comes to a close. It is to be expected, of course, that some of those shows will have disappointed me, either because my expectations were too high or because the production simply failed to achieve its potential. Next week, I'll be presenting my list of the top 10 torn tickets of 2010, my favorite shows of the year. But first, in a tradition that began in 2008, I shall take a look at the five theatrical productions that, in the year 2010, disappointed me the most. `The Taming of the Shrew' (Marin Shakespeare Company) Pirates are without a doubt among the most theatrical of characters, so when the Marin Shakespeare Company announced it was putting a Pirates of the Caribbean spin on its summertime staging of Shakespeare's Shrew, the very notion seemed a recipe for delight and high-spirited Shakespearean fun. Not that the Shrew/
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pirate connection was new or anything, the Sebastopol Shakespeare Festival having put Kate and Petruchio in pirate pants a couple years ago. But as word spread that a pirate ship was being built on the stage of the Forest Meadows Amphitheatre, anticipation likewise built higher and higher: one of the Bard's funniest plays combined with swashbuckling bad-asses. It just had to be good, right? What a disappointment, therefore, to see the actual production, in which director Bob Currier slashed the text and stuffed what was left with his own lines, most of them silly gags that would have worked better as a Saturday Night Live routine. Petruchio, supposedly our hero, was turned into an uncharming, flippantly cruel sociopath, hacking off hands (all so the actors could make bad, nonShakespearean puns) and sending people to their deaths left and right. What might have been an illuminating and delightful revisioning, all guns blazing, was instead a chaotic (though certainly energetic) misfire. `Peter Pan' (SRT) More pirates. More letdown. The disappointment of this nonmusical Peter Pan, directed by James Newman from the original script by J. M. Barrie, was mainly in how close it occasionally came to brilliance, while so much of the rest was . . . not brilliant. Though I shall remember forever the gorgeously lovely dance of shadows that ended the show, I shall not soon forget the sad, empty lack of impression made by Claire Perry as Captain Hook. The promise of a rock-'em, sock-'em female Hook evaporated the minute she uttered her first anemic line, deflating my hope for a Hook with teeth and claws. The staging by Newman was so unfocused and full of activity that pivotal moments (such as the gobbling of Hook by the otherwise ingenious ticking Crocodile) were lost amid all the action and visual clutter. `A Christmas Carol' (The Sonoma County Repertory Theater) Jon Tracy, who wrote this adaptation of Dickens' classic feel-good ghost story, made a major misstep in choosing to have a repentant Scrooge narrate the story from the vantage point of an already changed man. Gone was the necessary tension that makes us hunger to see the crotchety Scrooge finally reformed. In this case, it's the first thing we see, making the story sadly superfluous. `Dead Man's Wake' (West Side Playhouse) Larry Klein's original play was staged with great actors (William Elsman, Tyler McKenna), telling the dramatic true story of a Mill Valley author who took his own life, thus plunging his surviving family into despair and destitution. The script, though, is self-indulgent, rambling and ultimately incoherent, burying the truly good play that still hides somewhere beneath all those words. `Happy Now?' (Marin Theatre Company) In a year where nearly every show MTC put onstage wound up among my favorites, this overlong letdown about a woman's search for happiness failed less because of its own lack of significance (though other plays have told the same story far better), but because MTC chose to market it as a scathingly hilarious skewering of modern life. While it occasionally did scathe, Happy Now? was rarely even amusing, let alone hilarious. Stay tuned next week for David Templeton's Top 10 favorite shows of 2010.
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Natalie Portman plays a ballerina striving for perfection.
`Black Swan' a rigorous, intense pirouette
By Richard von Busack
he weight of Black Swan's entire neon-purple romanticism falls on Natalie Portman's thin shoulders. Starved to a skeleton for the role of a prima ballerina, Portman plays Nina, a dancer in New York alternately coddled and smothered by her mother, Erica (Barbara Hershey), who wakes her up and tucks her in at night. She sleeps in a room surrounded by a busload of stuffed bunnies. No surprise that the director of the ballet company, Thomas (Vincent Cassel), is exasperated by Nina's overly fussy, virginal approach to the dance. In our first sight of Thomas, looming behind the rows of seats, he poses like a superhero with arms folded and chest out. Later, after the flamboyant madness and high pitch that is Black Swan, we may start to feel we're watching a rehearsal of the Gotham City Ballet. On tap is the old mortgage-lifter, Swan Lake. "It's been done to death, I know, but not like this!" Thomas declares. With the challenge of originality comes worse news. First is the arrival of a new young dancer from San Francisco, Lily (Mila Kunis); and second, the public jettisoning of former diva Beth (Winona Ryder), whom Thomas considers too old for the part. Trapped among rival, director and mother, Nina starts to crack. Mirrors go bad, and she hears voices. Thomas' advice wanders out of dignified bounds ("Go home and touch yourself "), and the treacherous newcomer Lily begins to look fragrant to the shocked heroine. Self-mutilation has been in director Darren Aronofsky's work ever since 1998's Pi, and he prepares us for this from the beginning, when Nina cracks her toes in the morning and they sound off like gunshots. Likewise, Aronofsky shoots the breaking in of new slippers in ghastly close-up: the pretty satin thing disemboweled of its insole, the sides stabbed with a sewing needle, the soles slashed with scissors. Nina herself is a skin picker, brutally paring her nails--when they're not being scissored off by her mother. It's Hershey who makes this fantasy's mom-madness plausible. The best joke in Black Swan is the scene of Nina's ever-ringing cell phone; its screen blares the word "MOM" in capital block letters. In the rehearsal scenes, the camera spins around with the dancers, and we hear scuffing of feet and harsh panting. It's all hard, anguish-ridden work. When the music commences, Black Swan finally feels like a great movie, simply because the Tchaikovsky can make us believe anything. Still, it takes a while to get into the mood of cracked Freudianism Aronofsky is trying to instill here. Some of the awed reception of Black Swan seems to reflect the need for a great movie this time of year--or is it mindfulness of Michael Powell's brokenhearted ghost, grieving at those who couldn't succumb to The Red Shoes? Portman couldn't be more straightfaced or more plaintive as a woman in peril. Occasionally, she can't reach what she's aiming at, but who can blame her? Show me an actress who can make a face like a dying swan. Yet the most effective moments in this film are the less-cooked, trademark Aronofsky ones: a reprise of a situation in Pi, the nasty experience of walking a plywood tunnel around a construction site with blind turns; the sense of a city that's too loud, too fast, or too close; and the eyes of strangers on overlit, mostly empty subway cars.
`Black Swan' is open in wide release.
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Natalie Wood is convinced of Santa's existence in `Miracle on 34th Street,' screening for free Dec. 22 at the Sonoma Community Center. See Film, p35.
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Film capsules by Richard von Busack and Rothtana Ouch.
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His Way
"I hate this song," Frank Sinatra would often remark from the stage, introducing "My Way," "I've had it up to here with this goddamned song." He had a point. Though Sinatra lived large, the egomania of "My Way" never sat well, and one can only imagine how his constant denigration of the song affected its writer, Paul Anka. Of course, Sinatra also loudly hated the type of early moon-faced, teen-idol pop Anka trafficked in, such as "Puppy Love," "Put Your Head on my Shoulder" and "Lonely Boy," so maybe the public bashing wasn't such a surprise. Last year, Anka made headlines after Michael Jackson's death when he threatened to sue the Jackson family over the writing credits of a leftover song the two had cowritten, and this year, he brings his warm holiday cheer in a show called "Christmas, My Way" to town on Wednesday, Dec. 22, at the Wells Fargo Center. 50 Mark West Springs Road, Santa Rosa. 8pm. $45�$99. 707.546.3600.
Cooking Skills
After the rush of decorating, shopping, organizing, shuff ling relatives, fielding RSVPs and wrapping presents, who the hell wants to cook? One could take a cursory f lip-though of the Larousse Gastronomique as inspiration--or opt for a cooking demonstration at the Culinary Institute of America with none other than in-house Greystone Restaurant chef Polly Lappetito. Anyone with "appetito" as part of her name has to be good with food, right? And especially if you're talking family recipes. Lappetito will be preparing her family's Christmas manicotti recipe and demonstrating the fine art of making manicotti shells. By the day's end, you'll want to call off that turkey and order up eggplant, basil and chicken for Christmas dinner. Lappetito inspires on Wednesday, Dec. 22, at the Culinary Institute of America. 2555 Main St., St. Helena. 5�7pm. Free. 707.967.2320.
Broadway Baton
Santa Rosa's own Paul Staroba has come a long way from playing piano as a teenager for Santa Rosa Players' productions of La Cage Au Folles in the pit band with off-time drummers and drunk bassists. The incredibly talented musician is now in the Big Apple, on Broadway, conducting the orchestra for none other than Bernadette Peters in A Little Night Music and tinkling the ivories for Radio City Music Hall's Christmas Spectacular. Staroba's coming back home to help out his alma mater, Montgomery High School, in a fundraiser to send drama students to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Called Vikings Raid Broadway, it features Staroba along with other alumni, performing Broadway hits and passing the f laming torch to the next generation on Monday, Dec. 27, at the Jackson Theater. 4400 Day School Place, Santa Rosa. 6pm. $20�$60. 707.528.5395.
Sunday Imani
It's the day after Christmas, you think that it's all over, but no--the kids are still out of school. Spending money's out of the question, but you want to take them somewhere exciting so they'll get out of your hair. Of course! In celebration of the first day of Kwanzaa, the Bay Area Discovery Museum offers free admission all day on the day after Christmas! All throughout the museum will be art projects inspired by Africa, as well as a traditional Kwanzaa altar in the main lobby. But most importantly, in two separate shows, drummer E. W. Wainwright will lead a jazz combo in the African Roots of Jazz, tracing the lineage of jazz, blues, spirituals and hiphop with songs, theater, and audience participation. Feel the umoja on Sunday, Dec. 26, at the Bay Area Discovery Museum, Fort Baker, 557 McReynolds Road, Sausalito. Open 9am�4pm; performances at 11am and 1pm. Free. 415.339.3900.
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VINTAGE EMPORIUM VINTAGE EMPORIUM NTAGE EMPOR RIUM R
An And Cafe And Cafe nd afe af
Hollywood rapper Dirt Nasty, who is `known for his stylish wearing of clothes while reportedly performing insane freestyle raps talking about everything from sucking his own penis while high on cocaine to other scenarios involving those preestablished themes,' performs Dec. 23 at the Last Day Saloon. See Clubs, above.
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Tommy Castro celebrates 20 years with the blues
T
ommy Castro knows what he wants to hear when he puts on an album. "When I listen to a record, I want to be taken on a little ride," he says in a recent phone interview. "You want to listen to a record all the way down. You don't want a record that you don't want to listen to past track six. I wanted this one to be one that people are going to be saying `What's he going to do now?'" "This one" is Hard Believer, Castro's 10th solo album, which showcases Castro versions of Bob Dylan and Allen Toussaint songs, and lays out a little autobiography. The Dylan song is a rather surprising choice--"You Gotta Serve Somebody," from the 1979 gospel album Slow Train Coming. "It's one of those songs I've always loved," Castro said. "Dylan's lyric writing is amazing. As a songwriter, I'm in awe of the stuff that rolls off his brain." The Toussaint cover, "Victims of the Darkness," features a hard New Orleans funk that's different than anything the band has ever done, Castro says. So is the unclassifiable "The Trouble with Soul" that closes the record. "That song kind of grabbed me," he said. "I kept wanting to play it again. It let me play a little different style of guitar. I stretch out on my guitar work a little on this album." That stretching came at the same time Castro, who has been playing since age 10 and began his career in San Francisco bands 30 years ago, started taking guitar lessons. "I'd played everything I knew, so I had to learn something new," he said. "I learned that it's fun to play guitar. I've expanded my horizons a little." Castro's New Year's Eve show at the Mystic Theatre in Petaluma, slowly becoming an annual tradition, will serve as a special 20th anniversary for the band. Founding members Randy McDonald and Shad Harris will be on hand to play songs from every single record the Tommy Castro Band has recorded. "We're always a band," Castro says. "I've always considered this as sort of a group effort." Tommy Castro plays Friday, Dec. 31, at the Mystic Theatre. 21 Petaluma Blvd. N., Petaluma. 9pm. $50. 707.765.2121. L. Kent Wolgamott
Wed, Dec 22 8:45�9:45am; 5:45�6:45pm Jazzercise 7:30�9pm African & World Music Dance Thur, Dec 23 8:45�9:45am; 5:45�6:45pm Jazzercise 7:25�11pm Circle `n Squares Square Dance Club Fri, Dec 24 8:45�9:45am Jazzercise 10:30�11:30am Zumba Gold
Sun, Dec 26 8:30�9:30am Jazzercise 10:30�11:30am Zumba Fitness with Anna 5�9:30pm Steve Luther DJ Country Western Lessons & Dancing
Mon, Dec 27 8:30�9:30am; 5:45�6:45pm Jazzercise 7�10:00am Scottish Dance Tues, Dec 28 8:45�9:45am Jazzercise w/Patti Johnson 5:45�6:40pm Jazzercise 7:30�9pm African & World Music Dance Wed, Dec 29 8:45�9:45am Jazzercise w/Patti Johnson 10:00�12:15pm Scottish Country Dance Youth & Family Thurs, Dec 30 8:45�9:45am Jazzercise w/Patti Johnson 5:45�6:40pm Jazzercise 7:25�11pm Circle `n Squares Square Dance Club
Santa Rosa's Social Hall since 1922
1400 W. College Avenue � Santa Rosa, CA 707.539.5507 � www.monroe-hall.com
THE BOHEMIAN 12.22.10-12.28.10
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the last day saloon
nightclub & restaurant
DON'T FORGET...WE SERVE FOOD TOO!
OPEN AT 4 PM tHURS. - sATURDAY AND ANY DAY A SHOW IS SCHEDULED
Mc Near's Dining House
Breakfast � Lunch � Dinner BBQ � Pasta � Steak
FRI 12/31 � 8:00PM DOORS � $51 � 21+ BLUES/ROCK
AVAILABLE FOR PRIVATE PARTIES, BANQUETS, FUNDRAISERS AND OUTSIDE PROMOTERS 707.545.5876 12/31
LAST DAY SALOON & S FARZO LIVE NEW YEAR' S EVE PARTY WITH
8:30 PM SHOW > $12/17 > DANCE ROCK
TOMMY CASTRO
PLUS FROBECK SAT 1/1/2011 � OPEN 9:00AM
FAST EDDIE
+ JULIE MEDEROIS CHAMPAGNE TOAST, BALLOON DROP, AND SNACKS INCLUDED
NEW YEAR'S DAY
BRUNCH
ALL DAY BOWL GAMES BLOODY MARY BAR MAKE YOUR OWN $5
SAT 1/29 � 8:45PM DOORS � $18 � 21+ DANCE/PARTY HITS
1/1
9:30 PM SHOW > $18/20 > ROCK
PAUL DI'ANNO
(OF IRON MAIDEN) + ICARUS WITCH + PITCHFORK REBELLION
1/6
9:00 PM SHOW > $20/25 > REGGAE
WONDERBREAD 5
TUE 2/1 � 7:00PM DOORS � $17 � 21+
ANTHONYBAND B + DIRTY DUB
+ DJ JACQUES
1/7 9 PM SHOW > $15/20 > 80'S DANCE HITS LIMITED CAPACITY -BUY YOUR TICKETS EARLY!
THE WOOD BROTHERS
PLUS CARSIE BLANTON
SAT 2/5 � 7:00PM DOORS � $16 � 16+ POP ROCK/ALT ROCK
THE LOST BOYS
SAT 2/12 � 7:30PM DOORS � $21 ADV/$26 DOS � 21+ PINK FLOYD TRIBUTE BAND
TAINTED LOVE
+ DJ MATT MCKILLOP
1/8
8:30 PM SHOW > $10 > BLUES
"ALONE & TOGETHER"
AN EVENING WITH
HOUSE OF FLOYD
SUN 2/20 � 7:00PM DOORS � $21 ADV/$23 DOS � 18+ SINGER/SONGWRITER
DANIEL CASTRO BAND + RON THOMPSON BAND
1/15 7:30 PM SHOW > $10 > FOLK THE NORTHBAY HOOTENANNY WITH
TODD SNIDER
PLUS ELIZABETH COOK
TUE 3/1 � 7:00PM DOORS � $16 � 18+ SOUL/FUNK/R&B/BLUES/SOUTHERN ROCK
THE BROTHERS COMATOSE
+ ARANN HARRIS & THE FARM BAND + JOHN COURAGE + BRIAN FITZPATRICK + MR. DECEMBER
1/22 8:30 PM SHOW > $15 > ROCK SFARZO GUITAR STRINGS PRESENTS
Across the bridge
JJ GREY SOLO
PLUS SUNNY WAR
WED 3/2 � 6:30PM DOORS � $26 ADV/$29 DOS � 21+ ROCK
PAT TRAVERS
+ LCM + MILES SCHON BAND
all shows are 21+ unless noted for reservations: 707.545.5876
ROBIN TROWER
For All Ages Shows � No Children Under 10 Allowed
23 Petaluma Blvd, Petaluma
707.545.2343
120 5th street @ davis street santa rosa, ca
707-765-2121
www.mcnears.com
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THE BOHEMIAN
Abrasive, brusque and brilliant, Captain Beefheart's influence is everywhere.
Remembering Captain Beefheart
By Gabe Meline
e used to play Trout Mask Replica to clear people out of the store at closing time. It was 1997, in Portland, Ore., the hometown of Matt Groening, who famously called Trout Mask "the greatest album ever made." Most customers called it unlistenable. That was my introduction to Captain Beefheart, aka Don Van Vliet, who died last week at age 69 from complications due to multiple sclerosis--as a utility. Is not most all music, at its core, utilitarian? We seek music that we can dance to, that we can read to, that we can drive to, that we can make out to. But Trout Mask Replica is none of the above, unless the goal is for those activities to go unrecognizably awry. It certainly wasn't music to shop to, and thus, like a janitor, it effortlessly mopped customers out of the store and back to the safety of the predetermined. Partially due to its built-in jaggedness and partly due to owning it on double LP split , into four sides of dense listening, I have never listened to Trout Mask Replica in its entirety,
beginning to end. Even so, it's clearly one of the greatest records ever made, because, like a mop, it collects the detritus of so many genres--blues, free jazz, early psychedelia, spoken-word poetry--and wrings them out into a fascinating if crowded pail. Not all pails need to be shotgunned. What Beefheart does with this detritus is fascinating. He doesn't attempt, at least in conventional ways, to shape it into a cohesive whole; instead, guitar parts scurry in and out of time, the drums clunk hobblingly under the beat, and Vliet, who didn't want to hear the music when recording his vocals, coughs, sputters, scowls and bellows around the rhythm, resulting in even more elasticity. But to say it's "sloppy" overlooks its careful orchestration. Trout Mask Replica had been rehearsed tirelessly and monastically for eight months at a house in Laurel Canyon, where no band members were allowed to leave and usually ate one bowl of soybeans per day. As a result, the album took just four and a half hours to record. With an output spanning 15 years, Vliet's influence is mammoth, but not blanketing. As little kernels of his vision worm into other artists' work, his music is a contagion that prefers to whisper its name. One noticeable exception is Tom Waits, whose debt to Beefheart shouts even beyond the lumbering, Dolphy-by-way-of-junkyard music of his mid-'80s period. To see footage of Beefheart live is to see the source of Waits' flailing arms and door-hinge wrists, and both fled Los Angeles to stay creative by the California coast (to say nothing of the shared hat tip to Howlin' Wolf). What hurts is learning what a dictator Beefheart could be. Abandoned by his more respected peers like Ry Cooder and, later, Frank Zappa, Beefheart sealed his fate as a recluse by walking off the stage at the Monterey Pop Festival in 1968 before his first song was finished. For the next 13 years, he kept trying to walk away, with various botched record contracts signed and broken, until his rudimentary painting finally reeled him away from music forever. By that time I came across him in 1997, Vliet had long since retired from music. None of my friends knew exactly where to, other than "the desert," and when the internet got good at tracking these things, it didn't offer much more than "rural Northern California." The news came last Friday, during a busy workday, that Vliet had died at Mad River Hospital in Arcata, Calif. I shuffled into the Bohemian newsroom to break the news, expecting blank stares. Surprisingly, the entire editorial staff not only knew who Vliet was but professed their love of his work. For every 10 people his music drove away, it seems, one person was made richer for it. Such people tend to converge. This past week, Trout Mask Replica has probably been played more times than ever in the past 40 years, as memoriam. But to his many followers, Beefheart is mirrored in every parking lot full of cars whose windshield wipers bleat off-time; he's on every farm with competing pig squeals, tractor horns and dinner bells; he's in every trinket store with multiple music boxes chiming at once. Wherever so-called cacophony reigns, Captain Beefheart is there, making sense of it all.
Lunch & Dinner Sat & Sun Brunch DI NN E R
A ND A
Reservations Advised S H OW
CHRISTMAS EVE DINNER" Fri GOSPEL CHRISTMAS EVE DINNER SHOW Dec 24 WITH THE KINGDOM TRAVELERS
6:00pm Sun
SERVING DINNER 3:00�9:00PM or DINNER & A SHOW AT 6:00PM ALSO OFFERING AN "ALL YOU CAN EAT CRAB FEED
JOIN US FOR CHRISTMAS EVE DINNER
Dec 26
Melodic Original Songs 4:00pm / In the Bar
KYLE ALDEN
Rancho Debut!
CRAB FEE D WEEKE ND
Dec 30, 31 & Jan 1 FAUX NEW YEAR'S EVE WITH Dec 30 ELVIN BISHOP AND FRIENDS
Thur Fri
(RESERVATIONS REQUIRED)
Dec 31
Party Favors and Champagne Toast 8:30pm Their 8th Annual NEW YEAR'S EVE PARTY WITH Party Favors and Champagne Toast 9:00pm
THE ZYDECO FLAMES
Sat
Jan
***SPECIAL NO 1 MUSICAL EVENT COVER*** WITH
7:30pm
THE RANCHO ALLSTARS
NEW YEAR'S DAY OPEN FOR BRUNCH , LUNCH AND DINNER
12:00�10:00PM On the Town Square, Nicasio www.ranchonicasio.com
415.662.2219
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Galleries
Producer of `The Ring' to film series in Napa?
apa Valley may be about to get a whole lot creepier. The sweeping hills and scenic vineyards are both a haven for tourists and a source of great pride for locals, but they're the last place one would expect to find anything more sinister than a bad batch of bacteria. Until now, that is. NBC is currently planning a new supernatural primetime soap opera for its 2011 season. The series, aptly titled Vines, will be set in Napa Valley, and will focus on a troubled family of winemakers and their lives, not unlike the CBS drama Falcon Crest, which aired from 1981 to 1990. But unlike the characters on Falcon Crest, Vines' fictitious family won't be plagued by money-hungry relatives or an overbearing matriarch, but instead will be forced to grapple with the mystical and potentially dangerous powers that lie within their own grapevines. With this formula, and with a high-profile horror producer reportedly on board, Vines is sounding more and more like Falcon Crest meets Children of the Corn. Mystical and paranormal themed shows had a rather large following in the late 1990s with Charmed and Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and though ABC's Supernatural is still going strong after six seasons, these days there seems to be little room for more than one successful network series dealing with the occult at a time. CBS' Ghost Whisperer was cancelled after five seasons and ABC's short-lived Eastwick lasted only one. Hollywood news sites report that Vines was originally conceived as a feature film by writer Mark Kruger and was adapted as a series with the help of film producers Michael Aguilar and Taka Ichise. While Ichise has proven in the past to be a master of the atmospheric horror film, having produced the original Japanese productions of The Ring, Dark Water and The Grudge, it's unknown how his style will translate into American prime-time television. It's also unknown if Vines will actually be filmed in the Napa Valley, or how the show, should it become a reality, may influence viewers' opinions of the area. Allison Walker, vice president, communications of the Napa Valley Destination Council feels that despite whatever negative connotations may be portrayed in the show, it will take more than a few vines with mystical powers to taint Napa's lustrous image. "We all know Napa Valley has magic vines," says Walker, clearly painting the projected show with a tourism hue. "But I wouldn't say they're dangerous-- more like wonderful." Aimee Drew
N
Art by Jeannette Mahan of local landmarks shows through Dec 29 at Copperfield's Books in Santa Rosa. See listing, above.
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THE BOHEMIAN
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Kids and adults alike love the cookie-decorating class at scenic Cavallo Point on Dec. 22. See Food & Drink, below.
Comedy
Food & Drink
Events
Field Trips
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SM
endless green
Sunrise Stables in St. Helena invites kids out for its free annual meet-the-animals day on Christmas Eve. See For Kids, below.
HYDR
707-254-0200
NAPA, CA
O P O N I C S U PPL I E S
Advanced Nutrients, FoxFarm, House & Garden, Cutting Edge, Botanicare, General Hydroponics, Hydro Organics
25-3 Enterprise Court, Napa CA Mon-Fri: 10-6, Sat & Sun: 11-4
For Kids
Film
THE BOHEMIAN
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Lectures
Theater
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THE BOHEMIAN
Placing an Ad
BOHEMIANCLASSIFIEDS
Contacting Us
Bohemian Classifieds 847 5th Street, Santa Rosa, CA 95404 Monday through Friday, 8:30a.m. to 5:30p.m. ph: 707.527.1200
� By Phone Call the Department at 707.527.1200 Mon.-Fri., 8:30a.m.5:30p.m. By Fax Fax your ad to the Classified Department at 707.527.1288
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Employment
Jobs
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Home Services
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NO CREDIT CHECKS! Money back guarantee. FREE Map/pictures. 866-257-4555 www.sunsetranches.com (AAN CAN)
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LAPTOP, Computer, LCD Panel
$249, $99, $55- Like New! CRC Computer Repair Center, 3227 Santa Rosa Ave, 95407. FREE checkup, expert laptop repair, tune-up, spyware removal. 9am-5pm, Tues-Sat. 707-528-8340.
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Miscellaneous
ALL AREAS ROOMMATES.COM
Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http://www.Roommates.com. (AAN CAN)
Apartment/Cottage
707-206-6 94 707-206-6494 70 707-206-6494 6494
FREE!*
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Santa Rosa
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Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No ExperiMacAdvantage ence Necessary! Call our Live Macintosh Operators Now! 1-800-405FREE Diagnosis, Friendly 7619 EXT 2450 www.easyworkIn-House Staff Hardware/ great pay.com (AAN CAN) Software, DATA Recovery, Internet, Email,Wireless Career Development Network Setup & Security, Earn $75-$200 Hour Apple Authorized Media Makeup Artist Training. Business Agent, Tam NguyenChief Tech, M-F 10-6 Ads, TV, film, fashion. One info@themacadvantage.com week class. Stable job in 707.664.0400 weak economy. Details at www.AwardMadeUpSchool.co m 310/364-0665. (AAN CAN)
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Repair/Consultation
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ALL AREAS - ROOMMATES.COM. Cottage for Rent
$830 per month. I BR, water and garbage paid. Monte Rio above flooding . Private and enclosed garden. Call 707829-8000. Mon - Sat. 9am 4pm. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http://www.Roommates.com. (AAN CAN)
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Adult Services
Adult Entertainment
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Classes & Instruction Miscellaneous
Miscellaneous Services
18+ *Charges may apply to certain features.
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COLLECT CALL BILLING! 1-866-607-5282 1-900 PRICING OPTIONS! 1-900-622-1100 DIAL #CLICK (#25425) 79�/MIN. SPRINT, BOOST, AT&T 99�/MIN. VERIZON
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Mr. Salvage. 707-799-5482. Engines, Transmissions, Brass, Copper, Aluminum, Steel, Tin, Cast Iron, Appliances, etc. Exchange/Browse Personal Messages 1-866-3621311.Live adult casual conversations 1-877-599-8753 Meet on chat-lines. Local Singles 1888-869-0491 (18+) New!! Talk Live!! 1-866-362-1311 (AAN CAN)
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MEN SEEKING MEN
1-877-409-8884 Gay hot phone chat, 24/7! Talk to or meet sexy guys in your area anytime you need it. Fulfill your wildest fantasy. Private & confidential. Guys always available. 1-877-4098884 Free to try. 18+ (AAN CAN)
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Discreet massage & creative pursuits
Erotic dancing, Foot/ shoe/stocking fetish. Website photos are available. Rachel Sonoma, 707-318-5973.
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Miscellaneous
With over 2.3 million Women
AshleyMadison.com is the #1 Discreet Dating service for Married Women looking to have a Discreet Affair. Signup for FREE at AshleyMadison.com. Featured on: Howard Stern, Sports Illustrated & MAXIM. (AAN CAN) Class: Dating
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Adult Massage
*Custom Massage*
Convenient incall off 101. Ask about website pix. Liza* 707-566-7866
Three Star Massage Therapy
Open Daily. 10am -10pm. 5430 Commerce Blvd. Rohnert Park. Walkin or appt. 707-588-9777.
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A Rare Irish Rose
Quality and maturity in Marin. Call for photos. Please, no calls after mid
Moonflower Massage
3020 Santa Rosa Ave, Suite G., $5 off half hour and $10 off one hour with this ad. 707-528-7049
Long-Term/Short-Term Relationships, FREE-2-TRY! 1-877-722-0087
Place your classified adult services ad here, Call 707.527.1200 x206 today!
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HEALTH&WELL-BEING g g
Healing & Bodywork
RELAX!
A Safe Place To Be Real
MAGIC HANDS
Relaxing massage and bodywork by male massage therapist with 11 yrs experience. 707-542-6856
Holistic tantric masseuse. Unhurried, private, heartfelt. Monday thru Saturday. NEW CLIENT DISCOUNT. 707-793-2232.
Swedish and Deep Tissue Massage with light stretching for men/women Flexible M-F schedule; Incalls only 60min/$60 | 90min/$75 Please call Leo 707-623-6096
HOLIDAY SPECIAL $50
� NEW Foot Reflexology Treatment � Excellent Massage � Relaxing Body Treatments � Large Finnish Steam Sauna � Easy & Safe Parking
Petaluma Lavender Day Spa
FLOWER SPA
Golden Flower Massage Spa
Grand Opening Special!
chair massage with foot bath - $25/30 min
Psychics
Psychic Palm and Card Reader
Body Massage
Great Massage
By Joe, CMT. Relaxing hot tub and pool available. Will do Mitch, CMT. Mature. outcalls. 707-228-6883. Professional. Relaxing intuitive touch. Private Man of Your Dreams discrete studio. 707-849-7409 Men, women, couples. TLC, massage, Tantra, nurturing MASSAGE FOR MEN mutual touch. William Want your entire body 707-548-2187 squeezed, kneaded, PAIN/STRESS RELIEF massaged & stretched by skillful male CMT? Call/text Professional male massage 707-824-8700, or visit therapist; strong, deep www.SantaRosaMassageforhealing bodywork. 1 hr / $50, Men.com for pics/schedule. 1 1/2 hr $65. 707-536-1516 www.CompleteBodyBalance. A Provider of Pleasure
Guerneville M4M Massage
Place your massage services ad in the Health & Well Being page. Call 707.527.1200 Sales@bohemian.com
Open 7 Days 10am-10pm
Walk ins Welcome
Massage � Reflexology Swedish/Shiatsu
Open 7 Days: 10am-10pm
� Swedish & Deep Tissue Massage � Hot Stone Massage
$30
Chiang Mai Thai Spa
6741 Sebastopol Ave, #160 Sebastopol | 707.823.8540
Madame Lisa. Truly gifted adviser for all problems. 827 Santa Rosa Ave. One visit convinces you. Appt. 707-542-9898
131 Liberty St, Ste. D
at Washington St
707.782.9898
699 Petaluma Blvd. N
1626 4th St. Santa Rosa 707.526.6888
707.765.1879
Open 7 days 9am-10pm
Ayurvedic
Serious Massage
For your special bodywork needs - Strong, Thorough, Intuitive. 30 yrs. experience. Colin, CMT (707)823-2990
In a safe, relaxing, comfortable space by a "mature", compatible, easy-going gentleman! Since 1991 I`ve provided pleasure to women, men, couples. Good virtues. NW Santa Rosa, Jimmy, (C) 707-799-4467 or (L) 707-527-9497.
Indian Head Massage
� relief from tension headaches, eyestrain, and sinusitis � improves mobility in neck and shoulders � balances energy
SPIRITUAL CONNECTIONS
Finding inspiration and connecting with your community
Compassion Kadampa Buddhist Meditation Center Offers ongoing daily and evening classes for Adults and Kids Everyone is welcome. Bookstore open Fri & Sat 10am - 2pm. Check the online calendar www.meditateinsantarosa.org or call 707-477-2264 for more info. New Location - 436 Larkfield Center, Santa Rosa The Journey Center: A Place for Transformation Resources for your spiritual journey (ancient prayer/meditation practices, workshops/retreats, spiritual direction, art gallery, reading room, bodywork). 1601 Fourth Street, Santa Rosa. www.journeycenter.org 707.578.2121 Meditative Nature of Psychotherapy Mahakaruna Buddhist A spiritual practice for individuals Meditation Center and couples. Unfold psychological Offers ongoing introductory and problems and embrace them as advanced classes. Weds at noon, transformative paradoxes. Tues & Weds evenings 7:30-8:45pm After 12 years in Berkeley, Prayers for World Peace Gateway Institute is now in Sun - 10:30 - 11:45am Healdsburg. Heather Parrish, PHD Everyone welcome MFC36455. 707-473-9553. 304 Petaluma Blvd., North -Petaluma www.meditationinnorcal.org
Massage $55 hr
� Deep Tissue/Swedish � Sports � Shiatzu � Back Walking � Foot Reflexology � Chair $10/10 min massage � Couples Room
Relaxing Massage for Everyone
Swedish, Sports, Accupressure, Thai, Deep Tissue, Rohnert Park $40/hr + $10 outcall. Sebastian (707)758-0060 www.wix.com/rpcotati/ massage
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open 10-10, 7 days 707-591-8899
525 Ross St, Santa Rosa
Massage & Relaxation
Happy Health Spa
Blissful 4 Hand Massage
with man and woman, $200.00, William 707-548-2187
Margery Smith 707.544.9642
Great Massage Therapy DECEMBER SPECIAL
Deep Tissue, Swedish. By CMT Mary 707-228-3275. Affordable, free parking downtown Santa Rosa.
Sweet Sensual Massage with Lara
Treat yourself to my Blissful Touch. 707-481-2644
Full Body Sensual Massage
With a mature, playful CMT. Comfortable incall location near the J.C. in Santa Rosa. Soothing, relaxing, and fun. Visa/MC accepted. Gretchen 707/478-3952.
Prayer Collage/Vision Board Class
Create a visual picture of your hopes and dreams for the year using magazines, words, and other art mediums. Mon, Jan 3, 7:00-9:30 pm., Journey Center, 707-578-2121 www.journeycenter.org
NOW OPEN
Therapeutic Massage Center Body Massage $55/hr
Open 7 days 9-10pm
Share your organization's inspiration with over 123,000 Bohemian Readers monthly!
Phone: 707.527.1200 email: sales@bohemian.com
Foot Massage $19.99/45 min
2460 Mendocino Ave., Santa Rosa
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SANTA ROSA TREATMENT PROGRAM
Medical Marijuana Certifications
Full exam. Low cost. No charge if you do not qualify. Santa Rosa. Authentication 24/7. 707-591-4088.
1901 CLEVELAND AVE SUITE B, Santa Rosa
SUBUTEX/SUBOXONE available for Safe Oxycontin, Vicodin, Other Opiate Withdrawal!
Confidential Program. (707) 576 1919
A & A Kitchens
Need commercial kitchen space? Our spot will accomodate all your culinary needs. Stop lookin' and start cookin'! Call us in St Helena at 707.968.9474,
Donate Your Auto 800.380.5257
We do all DMV. Free pick up- running or not (restrictions apply). Live operators- 7 days! Help the Polly Klaas Foundation provide safety information and assist families in bringing kids home safely.
R U Eligible 4 Bankruptcy? Find Out.
Free Consultation! Evan Livingstone, Attorney (707) 206-6570
Petaluma Based Bead Source
Creative Light Productions
Professional photographer & videographer weddings, parties, special events. Call award winning David Ludwig Local: (707) 527-6004 Toll Free: (800) 942-8433 www.creativelightproductions.com
BE ASHAME D ON'T D
10% OFF Code: BOHO1210 Widest selection of Unusual Natural beads & pendants Great quality, best prices jewelry findings & components www.beadsandpieces.com or Call (707)765-2890
Golden Star Grafix
Need a quality designer? Business cards, brochures, flyers, posters, digital collage, cd covers, photographic restoration & collages general marketing materials. Mark Schaumann 707.795.0924
A Musical Hawaiian Christmas with George Lovato
at cdbaby.com/cd/georgelovato - Sound clips and more Available for mp3 downloads
MacAdvantage Macintosh Computer Repair
FREE Diagnosis, Friendly In-House Staff Answer Calls, Hardware/Software, DATA Recovery, Internet, Email, Wireless Network Setup & Security, Apple Authorized Business Agent, Tam Nguyen-Chief Tech, M-F 10-6. 707.664.0400, info@themacadvantage.com
DEPRESSION? INSOMNIA?
Holistic approaches to mood and sleep disorders. Carlisle Holland DO 707.824.8764. holonomicsinstitute.com
SKIRT CHASER VINTAGE -- BUY, SELL, TRADE
707-546-4021 208 Davis Street, RR Square
TO
Green Earth Catering
Santa Rosa Treatment Program can help you!
Stony Point Rd.
! AY GO HOME THIS HOLID
Organic and Earth friendly foods and supplies Scott Goree - Entertainment coordinator and business manager 707.795.7358 home, 707.479.5481 cell redgore23@aol.com
We provide treatment for: Oxycontin, Vicodin and heroin using replacement medications. We also treat methamphetamine and alcohol dependence. � Providing Treatment since 1984 � Confidentiality assured
Hearn Rd. Bellevue
Storage Master Self Storage
Dutton Ave.
W. Robles
Standish Ave
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� Call for our current specials � Month to Month Availability � Boxes, Packaging & Moving Supplies � Residential & Commercial � Professional On-site Managers
707-546-0000 707-578-3299
Todd Rd.
Corby Auto Row Santa Rosa
3205 Dutton Avenue
SANTA ROSA TREATMENT PROGRAM
1901 Cleveland Ave Suite B, Santa Rosa
Q UALITY G RAPHIC D ESIGN
BUSINESS CARDS � BROCHURES POSTERS � T-SHIRTS � CD COVERS FLYERS � PHOTOGRAPHIC RESTORATION
Rohnert Park
HWY 101
707-576-0818 www.srtp.net
1435 Sebastopol Road
Meth and Alcohol Treatment that allows you to keep your day job!
Santa Rosa Treatment Program can help.(707) 576-0818.
T.H. Bead Design & Repair
Quality beads, sterling silver clasps, etc. Custome necklaces, earings and bracelets for you or that someone special. Jewlery repair available also, no soldering. 707.696.9812, tiffany_beadsandpieces@yahoo.com
general marketing materials
3 FOR FREE Prepay first
Santa Rosa Plumbing
Water Conservation Experts. Friendly, Honest Service. Licensed, Bonded and Insured. License #871026
3 months, get the next month free Locally Owned & Operated
tankless water heaters, high efficiency toilets recirculation, general plumbing needs. Call 707.528.8228
Relapse Doesn't Mean Failure
Santa Rosa Treatment Program can help. (707) 576 0818
schaumann1@earthlink.net
Mark Schaumann 707.795.0924