50 Men, Women, and Things that Deserve a Comeback in 2013

Comebacks come in all forms. Whether it’s the actor we almost forgot how much we loved, or the state that’s still reeling in Sandy’s aftermath, here are the 50 people, places, and things we’d be most thrilled to see rally big in 2013.

Justin? Buddy? We won’t dwell on the fact that it’s been seven years since FutureSex/LoveSounds came out. It makes us feel old. We know: You can act. And you’re good at it, too. (There, we said it.) Now go make another album meant for the club—while most of your fans are still young enough to go.

Her ex hooked up with Mila Kunis, for God’s sake. Is it unsettling that she’s getting back into it with a dude roughly her daughter’s age? A little. But we’ll look the other way—and hope that for now she’s reading movie scripts instead of nuptials.

That’s how long Jonze went between Adaptation (2002) and Where the Wild Things Are (2009). We could use more flicks like those committed to celluloid. Consider it meaningful progress, then, that 2013’s Her—starring Rooney Mara, Amy Adams, Olivia Wilde, and Joaquin Phoenix—emerged after “only” a hiatus of, um, four years.

The retro hippie-chick style (bell-bottoms, peasant blouses) doesn't include the '60s move most worth reprising. Sisters, defy the patriarchy that has bound you for so long! Freedom's just another word for setting those babies free!

Name another major-league sport where guys are willing to get their bicuspids knocked into another time zone 82 times a year, all while defending a buddy’s honor, and then disappear down a tunnel for all of, say, two minutes to get their jaw wired shut, and then hop back over the bench to block a thick slab of vulcanized rubber traveling 100 mph—right in the shins—all while missing, like, one shift. Just saying.

Neither is being a single mom caring for the world’s most photographed kid. But Holmes pulls it off with surprising poise, unafraid to even catch a little shuteye on a New York City subway (she rides the subway!). With that kind of toughness, we know there’s still hope for Holmes.

The last time people called this guy washed up, he went out and led the L.A. Galaxy to a championship. Okay, he didn’t do it alone, but even at 38, Beckham’s proving to his critics that he’s still one of the world’s most gifted, and consistently well-conditioned athletes—and the mainstream torch-bearer that the MLS desperately needs.

We’re not asking much. Let’s make it through security with our dignity in tact. Toss in an extra inch or two of legroom, more widespread Wi-Fi (we’ll even pay!), an extra bag of peanuts, and no more than a 20-minute delay before takeoff and we’ll call it even.

We’re still amazed—and saddened—to see that Chappelle’s Show, which went off the air in 2006, remains Dave Chappelle’s last film and TV credit. The most brilliant, edgy, consistently funny show of its time deserves to be given another chance. It’ll be a celebration.

If there’s any silver lining to this mess, it’s that 2013’s cleanup of New Jersey promises to include more cranky press conferences (and solid SNL parodies) with Chris Christie, and—with luck—a couple of great Bruce Springsteen shows.

He’s just a bit too old to be a hot ticket in Hollywood anymore, and that doesn’t seem to sit well with Keaton; we’ve heard he doesn’t want to do an HBO series. Somebody—we’re looking at you, Mr. Scorsese—needs to change his mind.

As a fantastic New York Times essay recently put it, “To live ironically is to hide in public. It is flagrantly indirect, a form of subterfuge, which means etymologically to “secretly flee” (subter + fuge). Somehow, directness has become unbearable to us.”

From his boorish Hall of Fame acceptance speech to his disastrous run as an NBA executive, retirement hasn’t been good for No. 23. So let’s try this again: Jordan should show up at the next induction and offer thanks to all those guys (looking at you, Bryon Russell) who pushed him to excel. Then send him on a goodwill tour for the game—maybe a HORSE competition with Larry Bird that is tied to investment in local boys-and-girls clubs. “Be Like Mike,” indeed.

Here’s all Carrey’s managed since 2009: A Christmas Carol, Mr. Popper’s Penguins, a couple of TV cameos and shorts, and a sorta’ creepy YouTube valentine to Emma Stone (still not sure what that was all about). It’s a strange thing when your career just needs the equivalent of a fart joke or a groin kick to get it back on track. And by that, we mean the upcoming reboot Dumb and Dumber To. (Not a typo, we’re proud to report.)

A string of flops in 2009 seems to have vanquished all the goodwill Zellweger built up with smash hits like Chicago, Cinderella Man, and Bridget Jones’ Diary in the early 2000s. So what do you do when you’re a former A-lister who’s career has hit the rocks? You get pregnant. Say hello to 2013’s Bridget Jones’s Baby.

And whether she’s playing a troubled nymphomaniac in Black Snake Moan or a rebellious flight attendant in the short-lived TV series Pan Am, Ricci’s always been one of the most compelling reasons to tune in.

Wishful thinking, maybe, after one of the ugliest and most expensive elections in history. Our advice? Start small, find something we can all agree on: Paid vacation. Shakira. The Clash. Single-malt scotch. Whatever it takes.

Because suburban moms and dads aren’t the only ones that watch comedy.

With all due respect to The Watch and Little Fockers and those Madagascar flicks, you’d need to travel back to 2008’s Tropic Thunder to find Stiller in his irreverent, cartoonishly over-the-top element. Thankfully, the recently announced—and way overdue—Zoolander sequel should be just the prescription. Because what else is there to life other than being really, really ridiculously good-looking?

Give the guy credit for getting back to what works: karate chopping and kicking ass. Reeves hasn’t starred in a major studio film since 2008’s The Day the Earth Stood Still. And that must’ve really pissed him off, judging by his next two projects: the kung fu film Man of Tai Chi and the samurai flick 47 Ronin. Any takers to negotiate his next contract?

Before the Mittster got all presidential, he was a master of Getting Things Done. Flipping companies, fixing the Winter Olympics, being a successful Republican governor in a liberal-leaning state. Let’s give THAT GUY the high-speed rail project. Only caveat: he has to bring all that Super PAC money along for the ride (and out of politics).

Here’s Myers’ output since 2004: Shrek 2, Shrek the Third, Shrek the Halls, Shrek Forever After, Scared Shrekless, and, well, you get the idea. The guy just might set a record for milking a single franchise for all it’s worth. Actually, make that two franchises: Rumor has it, there’s another Austin Powers sequel on the way this year.

A whole roster of villains. And there’s no faster way for a team to become universally reviled than to win it all—over and over and over again. One caveat: Enough of New York and L.A. Let’s welcome some new kings of the mountain: How about it, Oklahoma City?

Normally there’s nothing funny about divorce—unless it involves that time you got “fake” married 20 years ago to comedian Rob Cohen only to learn that—oops—there was nothing fake about it. “[Rob] and I got married drunk in Vegas,” Garofalo told the New York Comedy Festival. “We dated for a year, and we got married at a drive-through chapel in a cab. We thought you have to go down to the courthouse and sign papers and stuff, so who knew? We were married, and apparently now that Rob is getting married for real, his lawyer dug up something.”

The big-budget flop didn’t kill his career, but it sure seems to have cooled it down. Reynolds’ biggest problem is that he looks like a leading man, but he’s better off playing goofballs. Somebody needs to have Reynolds’ guy call Judd Apatow’s guy.

Check out the diet plan Reynolds used to slice his body fat down to 3 percent.

We’re not necessarily calling for even more of those, by the way. But if Hollywood’s resigned to making sequels of everything ever, then let’s smear some psychomagnotheric slime on this baby, crank up the Jackie Wilson, and get her moving. Also: please hurry, because Bill Murray’s not getting any younger.

("Because 5-year-olds can't reach the brake, Timmy.") The autocratic authority of "Because I said so" is both less tiring for Dad and better for children. When you're 5, it's reassuring to know that you're not in charge.

Take it from Men’s Health nutritional advisor Alan Aragon: “The majority of controlled trials show that eating eggs either has no effect on health or a positive one,” he says. In fact, many studies show eating whole eggs raises measures of “good” HDL cholesterol. So you can relax. Besides, Aragon says, “The yolks hold most of the nutrition, including antioxidants like luetin and zeaxanthin, which promote healthy vision.”

Break out of your shell and enjoy cheaper, tastier, protein-packed meals with these healthy egg recipes.