Monday, September 08, 2014

Few activities offer their participants more "opportunities" to receive
unwanted (and often presumptuous) advice from complete strangers than parenting. Anyone who, like me, has been on
the receiving end of such -- erm -- counsel will find that a writer at
McSweeney's has perfectly captured what we're too
kind/busy/sleep-deprived/frightened/wise to say in response. The passage below,
in particular, reminded me of my "favorite" such incident:

Oh nice lady, you are probably right! I should definitely cover his
face always so he doesn't get sun on it. If he is exposed to the
sun for even
one moment, even as I am simply walking from the mechanic to a coffee shop
where I have to unexpectedly stop to feed him because my car broke down, he
will probably immediately get sun disease or burst into flames.

My
parallel occurred last winter, when I had to go to a bank a day or so after a
snow storm. I parked my car across the street and opened the door to get my
then six-month-old son out, only to discover to my annoyance that I'd left his
jacket at home. Since it was forty degrees out and the bank was a very short
walk across the street, I decided to go anyway.

I didn't even make it to the
crosswalk before a car arrived from around a corner and stopped.

"That's child abuse!" someone bellowed at me from her position of
omniscience in the newly-arrived car. This person, who looked like someone I wouldn't have wanted even in the same room with my son, glowered at me for a moment through her window. After I pretended not to hear her, she drove on, to my great relief
and somewhat to my surprise.

To this day, I wonder what that fool would do if airdropped into
Scandanavia some winter, where children are routinely left to nap outside
in subfreezing temperatures.