"Hi, I'm John Schnattner, CEO of Papa Johns, with an important message to my loyal customers.

"Now, as you know, the current Adminsitartion has enacted draconian legislation under the name of 'Health Care Reform' designed to crush small business owners such as myself. I had hoped that the American People would see fit to elect a more prudent man willing to obliterate Obamacare on Day One, thus saving businessmen like myself from utter bankruptcy and total anhililation. Unfortunately, that was not to be.