*(ANGLE)Recap of Raw.....The Hart Foundation ruin our main event*
-Dean Malenko made Scorpio tap to the Cloverleaf-
*(ANGLE)Recap of Kevin Nash and Scott Steiner's disagreements as of late*
-Rey Mysterio bested Christopher Daniels-
*(ANGLE)Rather strange video package, as the Bizarre One tells us to "Forever Forget The Name.......of Goldusssssssst*
-Mark Henry squashed (quite literally) some no name scrub-
*(ANGLE)Video Recap, What is going on with Kane?*
-High Voltage were victorious against some local talent-

Week 1, December 1997

-Chris Benoit & DDP picked up a victory over The Faces of Fear-
*(ANGLE)Mean Gene makes his way out....tells Storm to give the title back to the champion....Storm says that the REAL champion already has the belt*
-Lance Storm "defended" Goldberg's TV Title against Scotty Riggs-
*(ANGLE)Nitro Recap.....The Totally Awesome Trinity receive a Totally Awesome Challenge from Benoit, DDP......and Sid Vicious*
-The Disco Inferno defeated Kid Kash-
*(ANGLE)Recap of Mayhem.....and the return of Sting*
-Gideon Cain bested Rick Martel-

Week 1, December 1997

ECW Hardcore TV
Rating: D-

-In a rather strange main event (considering the World Title match elsewhere on this show) Mike Whipwreck defeated Roadkill- (D)
-ECW's peculiar booking continues, as the Sandman defeated Shane Douglas for ECW World Title.....in the semi main event......just a few weeks after November 2 Remember (where the title was NOT defended- (C)
-Unlikely (or should that be, Unworthy) Television Champion, 911 retained the TV Title over Axl Rotten- (D-)
-The Eliminators defeated Super Nova and The Blue Meanie.....non-title obviously, Saturn and Kronus have only defended the belts once in close to six months now- (D)

It's Monday Night, Raw is War, and that "Gong!" can mean only one thing....World Wrestling Federation Champion The Undertaker, is about to make his way out.....

.....the lights dim as The Deadman walks the aisle with a billow of smoke at his feet, before climbing into the ring where he raises the light AND raises a microphone.....

.....he says that he's walked a bleak walk on a lonely road his entire adult life, with the darkness in his heart as his only constant companion.....but it wasn't always like that.....he says that as a child there was always someone by his side, someone that he thought would ALWAYS be by his side.....his baby brother, Kane.....but all of that went up in smoke.....literally.....

.....Undertaker says that on one fateful night he lost everything.....or at least he THOUGHT he lost everything.....until the day a little over eighteen months ago, when Kane walked back into his life.....

.....Kane has always been "troubled" he tells us....he's always had his demons....and it's because of his own brother, that his parents are dead....Kane killed their parents....Kane killed The Undertakers childhood....Kane created the Deadman some twenty years ago....

.....BUT.....

.....it wasn't intentional.....

.....he says that Kane was young, he was reckless.....he needed guidance.....he needed.....he needed his big brother.....but the Undertaker was preoccupied with his own life to worry about his baby brother.....he says that Kane DID kill their parents, but The Undertaker was as much to blame as if he had ignited that flame himself.....

.....he says that when Kane re-emerged all these years later, he bought with him decades worth of pain that the Undertaker had buried.....pain that the Deadman simply did NOT want to deal with.....what he wanted to do, was hurt Kane.....punish Kane.....destroy the baby brother that destroyed HIS life.....but he sees now, that Kane was already destroyed.....

".....my baby brother died in that fire, while Kane rose like a phoenix from the ashes.....I can't destroy you, because you already destroyed yourself....."

.....The Undertaker says he's done.....it's done.....he can't get those twenty years back.....he can't get his parents back.....he can't get his childhood back.....

".....but I want my baby brother back....."

.....Taker says that no more will he raise his hand to Kane, no more will he stand back and watch as Vince McMahon and his Stooges manipulate Kane's fractured mind.....at In Your House: Dead Man Walking, Brian Pillman will Rest in Peace, The Undertaker will STILL be the World Wrestling Federation Champion......and The Undertakers olive branch to his brother will STILL be extended......

.....that brings out Mr. McMahon, who has Brian Pillman and (judging by general body language) a reluctant Kane.....

.....McMahon says that while the World Wrestling Federation certainly embodies good old fashioned family values (pftt, yeah right) unfortunately there will be NO family reunion for the Deadman and Kane.....Vince says that whether The Undertaker likes it, or whether he doesn't, it doesn't matter.....all that matters, is that Kane does WHAT Mr. McMahon says, WHEN Mr. McMahon says to do it, and if the Deadman is going to stand by his promise NOT to raise his hand to his brother, then getting the WWF Title around the Corporate Cannon's waist will be as simple as one, two, three.....

.....Brian Pillman takes the microphone to cackle like a maniac, telling the Undertaker that he may think himself to be the darkness of the WWF.....he may believe himself to be some mythical being....some phenom.....but in reality he is little more than a lost little boy crying out for his Dear Dead Mama...and as far as Brian Pillman is concerned, if The Undertakers Mother wasn't already dead, she would have died of shame.....but since she IS dead, she's probably just rolling in her grave at the worthless offspring she spawned.....

.....even Kane snaps his head around with that comment.....he's clearly not liking hearing his mother mocked, but Brian Pillman either doesn't notice or (more likely) doesn't care, as he continues to taunt the WWF Champion, before Vince McMahon finally brings the segment to a close.....he tells The Undertaker that since he's so keen on "brotherhood's" all of a sudden, he can face a brother team.....when he and Steve Austin join forces again in our main event.....against The Hart Foundation.....and maybe Kane will be there, to snap that olive branch in two.

Rating: A*

Quote:

VS.

Our first match of the evening sees a man who's near enough done it all here in the World Wrestling Federation (two time Intercontinental Champion, former European Champion, former Tag Team Champion) other than win the Big One, The British Bulldog Davey Boy Smith, facing off against a member of Ted DiBiase's (recently rejuvenated) Million Dollar Corporation, Rich Steiner.....

.....these two men have certainly met before, in fact it was from The British Bulldog that Rich Steiner captured his first (and only) singles Title here in the World Wrestling Federation , the Intercontinental Championship, back at the tail end of October 1996.....although NEITHER man has seen much Championship action as of late.....

.....obviously with both men looking to get back into the title picture, they would need to start with a victory here, and despite the presence of Ted DiBiase at ringside, it was the Bulldog who was hungrier tonight, taking the victory after planting Rich with the Running Powerslam.

Winner: The British BulldogRating: B

Quote:

Michael Cole joins the Bulldog in the ring as he celebrates his victory, and he has a microphone in hand....he tells the Bulldog that he's been conspicuously absent in recent months, while his former Hart Foundation members have been front and centre week in and week out....is this a return to the spotlight for the British Bulldog?.....

".....yes, I think it is Michael....it is yes....."

.....Bulldog was never a wizard on the microphone.....he gets the gist across though, he's done being the lost puppy of the WWF, and it's time he got back to doing what he does best....taking a bite out of the competition.....and where better to start, than be recapturing the title that he held before anyone else, the WWF European Championship......

.....I don't know if anyone told the Bulldog, but the Million Dollar Corporation have a new business model as of late, and that's the fact that if somebody wants to take the European Title from around the waist of Jeff Jarrett, then they're going to have a hell of a fight on their hands.....

.....Rich Steiner and Ted DiBiase haven't actually left the ringside area yet, and Rich slides into the ring behind the Bulldog, nailing him with a cheap shot as DiBiase calls in the reinforcement.....

.....Jarrett and Southern Justice hit the ring too, and as Deebs snatches the microphone from Cole (reminding everyone exactly what happened to Psycho Sid after he messed with the Corporation) his four clients proceed to stomp the Bulldog into the mat, before Southern Justice head outside to collect a wooden table, and Rich Steiner shoves a (single) dollar bill into the mouth of Davey Boy.....it looks like the Bulldog is going to receive the full "Sid Treatment", table and all.....

.....although not on Ken Shamrock's watch apparently.....as the Worlds Most Dangerous Man (and current #1 Contender to the European Championship) comes rushing out from the back with a steel chair in hand, swinging (and missing) wildly at the Corporation Members, who quickly scatter and evacuate the danger zone.....

.....Shammy helps Davey to his feet, before turning and screaming threats to the Corporation (well, mainly Jarrett) as DiBiase leads his men to the back (much to the dismay of Rich Steiner, who wants his dollar back)....if they are going to do this then it's going to be on the Corporation's terms and on the Corporation's time, and this, is NOT that time.....Ken Shamrock will be dealt with....at Dead Man Walking.

Rating: A*(?)

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Jim Ross sends us to commercial, but before we go he tells us that there is a situation developing backstage......what is that situation? Well it appears to be a little bit of dissension within the ranks of the Nation of Domination.....

.....the screen switches to a shot (filmed from distance....clearly the camera man is attempting to remain incognito) of the back, where Faarooq is dressing down the rest of the Nation for failing to come to his aid last week when Nelson made his way out during Faarooq's match with Jake Roberts.....

.....he tells the group that they are a NATION.....and a Nation should stand behind their leader, but Kama interrupts him, telling him that actually, a Nation is only as STRONG as its leader, and a leader that runs from battle is no leader at all.....

.....Faarooq is p!ssed at that statement, telling the group that if they want to start a revolution, stage a coup, start a rebellion.....whatever they want to call it.....if they want to question his ability to lead, then he's right here, and he's not going ANYWHERE.....

.....he gets in each man's face, asking them one by one if they think they could do a better job, and one by one they all say no.....to which Faarooq tells them to stop their complaining then, telling them that this is exactly what "the man" wants to see....the Nation fighting between themselves because they KNOW that the Nation won't be stopped.....

.....Faarooq says that he's the head of the Nation, and since none of them want the job then they'd better step in line....he's going to deal with Matt Hardy next, and then at In Your House he'll put Nelson down for good.....

.....with that Faarooq storms off towards the Gorilla Position, while the rest of the Nation follow (very) slowly behind him.....the camera zooms in as close as it can, and it just about catches the tail end of a comment by Scorpio, asking Kama "why didn't you tell him?".....Kama just shakes his head though, telling his team mate that "he'll find out soon enough"....and now we DO go to commercial.

Rating: B+

Quote:

VS.

It takes longer than usual, but the Nation does eventually join their "leader" at ringside for this one, while young Matt Hardy is obviously out here alone.....

.....Faarooq can't be happy with the way he conducted himself last week (getting counted out against Jake "The Snake" Roberts) and he'll be looking to make sure that it's not back to back losses here.....

.....the Nation man has gone from one extreme to another here, last week he competed against one of the oldest current WWF superstars with the 42 year old ring veteran Jake Roberts, while this week he's facing one of the youngest in Matt Hardy, but while Hardy is only 23 year of age, he's no rookie either and in fact (in being a former WWF European Champion) he actually has held more titles here in the World Wrestling Federation than Jake Roberts if you can believe that.....

.....the announcers speculate exactly what it was that Scorpio wanted Kama to tell their "leader" a few moments ago, with Rude trying to downplay it as nothing, while Jim Ross isn't quite so convinced, although he does mention that Faarooq shouldn't be running anywhere this evening, because Nelson is NOT in the building.....

.....Faarooq isn't the only one with something to prove here tonight, because Matt Hardy has made no secret of the fact that he wants another bite at the European Championship that he held not so long back (and to his credit, defended virtually weekly) and a victory here would get him one step closer.....he comes damn close on occasion too.....in the end however, The Nation proves to be the difference maker.....and although seemingly reluctant, Kama is finally convinced to put a stop to Hardy's offence, hopping Upton the apron and shoving him from the top rope (while D'Lo distracts the official) leaving Faarooq to snatch him up off the mat and drive him back down to the canvas with the Dominator.

Winner: FaarooqRating: B-

Quote:

Following his victory, Faarooq grabs a microphone and calls the rest of the Nation into the ring.....he tells them that the Nation is stronger United than it is Divided, and he's going to put an end to all this talk of him being afraid of anything or anyone right here, right now.....

.....he calls out Big Nelson, telling the former Nation member to get his "fat ass out here, and let Faarooq show you that when it comes to you, the only thing I'm running from is your body odour boy".....

.....obviously Nelson doesn't show, and Rude uses that as an excuse to point out that maybe now it's Nelson that's afraid of Faarooq....Jim Ross is quick to reiterate his earlier point, Nelson is not here this evening, to which Rude is equally quick to reply that Nelson isn't here because he's running scared of Faarooq.....

.....Faarooq says that he thinks he's proved his point.....he says that he ain't scared of a damn thing, at at In Your House, Nelson really WILL be a Dead Man Walking, when Faarooq......AND the Nation.....take the fat man out for good.....

.....he tosses the microphone down to the mat and raises his fist to the sky, staring at the rest of the Nation until they finally join him in the Nation Salute.....by any means necessary? I guess we will find out at In Your House.

Rating: A

Quote:

From there we head backstage, where Dok Hendrix is standing by with the WWF Tag Team Champions Harlem Heat, and the team that challenged them for those very titles last week, Al Snow and Chris "Don't Call Me Skippy" Candido.....

.....Dok says that despite the fact that Harlem Heat retained the Championships last week, neither team can be happy with the way that match ended (with the New Age Outlaws being the deciding factor) Booker T begins to agree with Dok, saying that's not the way they wanted the match to go down, but Stevie Ray cuts him off.....he tells Dok (and his brother) that a win is a win, and Booker should know that.....he said that when you're coming up, just a young sukka on the streets of 110 Street, you take your wins however they came, or you die trying.....

".....and we here ain't we?.....so we damn sure didn't die trying.....did we win the match on our own? Maybe not....but do we still got the gold?" Stevie pauses for a second to slap the Title belt that's draped over his shoulder "You damn skippy we do hippy.....so the New Age Outlaws, they WILL get theirs Dok, because that's what the Heat do....but the way I see it, last week was nothing but another victory....."

.....Candido doesn't look particularly thrilled by those words, asking Booker if he's as happy with his tainted victory as his brother is? Reluctantly Booker agree's with Stevie, saying that a win is a win, BUT, the Harlem Heat are nothing if not fighting champions, so anytime he and Snow want another shot at the gold, that's fine by him.....

.....Candido says that they'll take that shot, don't worry about that....but first there's the little matter of the New Age Outlaws to contend with.....he says that he and Snow have been tangling with the Outlaws for months now, and it's time to take them out for good....starting tonight.....

Rating: A

Quote:

VS.

So it would appear that the New Age Outlaws are quite in demand at the moment, with Snow, Candido AND the Harlem Heat looking to settle a score with them (although I don't think Stevie Ray really cares either way if I'm honest with you) and it begins right now, as Booker T faces off with the Road Dogg.....

.....Billy Gunn will be going one on one with Chris Candido later in the evening, but he's out here now (along with Sunny) to support his partner, as is Stevie Ray, making for quite the chaotic ringside area.....

.....Road Dogg is a decent worker, and arguably has more experience as a singles competitor, but Booker T shows that he's more than just a tag team wrestler here, dominating his opponent for a good portion of the match.....

.....in the end however, the Tag Team Titles (obviously) aren't on the line here, so the Outlaws are clearly unconcerned with victory and more concerned with causing havoc....because as Sunny uses her womanly charms to briefly distract Stevie Ray, Billy Gunn swipes a Title Belt from ringside and charges into the ring, nailing Booker right in the back of the head right in plain view of the official.....and this one is over....

Winner: Booker T (via disqualification)Rating: B-

Quote:

.....Booker is down, and it's only the sound of the bell ringing that finally takes Stevie Ray's attention off Sunny, as he rushes to the aid of his brother.....unfortunately his brother is out cold, so the rescue mission soon turns into a two on one beatdown.....

.....but only briefly.....because the Headbangers of all people come Moshing and Thrashing their way down the ramp and dive into the ring, chasing off the Outlaws who quickly retreat to the outside, where the waiting Sunny frankly looks disgusted at the sight of these two skirt wearing, painted faced oddballs.....

.....the Outlaws have had their fun, and take this cue to leave, heading to the back as The Headbangers quickly grab a microphone, stopping the Harlem Heat before they can leave.....

.....they tell Booker and Stevie that this might not be the best time (what with the two of them just getting jumped) but ever since the Heat won the tag titles they've been saying that they're fighting champions....anyone and everyone gets a shot....and they know that they have Steiner and Nash at In Your House, but that's a few weeks away....so how about NEXT week they put the titles on the line against the Headbangers?.....

.....Stevie is still checking on the condition of his brother, and frankly doesn't have time for this crap.....he tells the pair that if they want a shot they got a shot....but just because they're p!ssing him off right now, Stevie is going to give them an extra special Harlem Ass Whipping next week.....

.....the Tag Champs exit the ring and head to the back, leaving Mosh and Thrasher to Headbang in the ring, bouncing off the ropes (and each other) in celebration.....

.....which is when Goldust's music begins to play.....

.....and then abruptly stop again, before being replaced with some unfamiliar (and frankly more morbid) music.....

.....and MGM Productions make their way out.....

.....I think.....

.....because while this IS Goldust, Marcus and Marlena, they look very, very different.....

.....there isn't a spot of gold anywhere to be seen, in fact there is more black than anything else, as this much more serious threesome make their way out.....

.....they climb into the ring along with the Headbangers (who have come to a complete stop at this strange interruption) and Goldust grabs a microphone, asking Mosh and Thrasher just what they think they are doing?.....

.....Mosh says they thought that was obvious, they're having a good time and getting Title shots.....the real question should be what do Goldust, Marcus and....well, not Marlena because she's looking fine.....but what are Goldust and Marcus doing?.....

.....it's a fair question, because neither Goldie nor Marcus look anything close to what they looked like a few weeks back.....Goldust is completely paint free, while Marcus doesn't have any make-up on whatsoever, has shaved his long hair down to practically nothing....and appears to be wearing boxing shorts.....

.....Goldust says that what he and his esteemed partner are doing, is exactly what they have to do to succeed around here.....casting off the shackles of oppression.....throwing aside the ridiculous costumes.....and walking free of the "bizarre" world they were forced to live in to get their jobs here in the first place.....

.....he says that Vince McMahon revels in other people's misery.....he finds amusement and joy in ridiculing and embarrassing those that work for him.....but if Mosh and Thrasher truly want to make a mark in the tag team division, they need to discard this ragtag, oddball freakshow that McMahon has lumbered them with.....they need to get serious.....they need to stop being a stereotype.....they need to stop being "Headbangers" and just be themselves.....it's the only way.....

.....Mosh and Thrasher burst out laughing at that, telling Goldust that they don't know what he's been taking, but this IS the real them.....they say that they've been moshing and thrashing their whole lives and they're not about to stop now.....and next week, they're going to Headbang their way all the way to the WWF Tag Team Titles......

".....so no offence, whatever this little pity party is all about, it's not our problem.....leave us out of your midlife crisis, and you just worry about you......because next week, we've got titles to win....."

.....and with that the Headbangers music begins to play again, and they Mosh their way over the guardrail and disappear into the crowd, leaving Goldust, Marcus and Marlena standing in the ring......Jim Ross says that he doesn't know what's happening with Goldust, but clearly the Bizarre One is trying to shed his Bizarre Ways.......

.....time for a commercial.....

Rating: A

Quote:

VS.

We've already seen Jesse James in action tonight....it's the turn of his tag team partner now, as Billy Gunn goes one on one with Chris Candido.....

.....much like in our earlier match, both men are accompanied by their partners (and in Gunn's case, Sweet Ass Sunny too) but UNLIKE earlier, Sunny's distraction techniques don't work on Snow....mainly because he's in a constant distracted state anyway.....

.....this was a good match, both these men know what they're doing in there, arguably being the "workers" to their partners "entertainers" (after all, neither man has their team mates charisma/mic skills....especially Al Snow, who's "Entertainment" skills skyrocketed after working an extended programme with Raven) so this is more of a traditional match than it perhaps would have been if it was Road Dogg vs Al Snow.....

.....that being said, the New Age Outlaws have never been afraid to stretch the rules....or out and out cheat....which is why it comes as no surprise that the Road Dogg hops up onto the apron as Candido is perched on the top rope (looking for his flying headbutt) distracting the former Tag Team Champion and preventing the attack.....

.....Snow quickly sweeps Road Dogg's legs from under him, knocking him back down to the arena floor, before laying him out with a right hand, but the distraction did it's job, and Billy Gunn was able to knock Candido off the top rope, then quickly finish him off with the Famouser for the one, two, three.

Winner: Billy GunnRating: B+

Quote:

The Outlaws run like thieves in the night (laughing all the way) leaving Al Snow to check on his partner, as we go to a promo for In Your House.....after which we return to the arena, where Jake Roberts is making his entrance.....

.....the ring veteran has been steadily advancing through Raven's Divine Comedy, and after seeing his descent through the Circles of Hell, he's arrived tonight at the latest one.....Heresy.....

.....except he doesn't appear to have an opponent.....

.....usually before these matches we are treated to Raven giving his own twisted reasoning for Jakes opponent that evening, but as Jake stands there waiting, no opponent seems to be forthcoming.....

.....ah here we go.....as the Titantron finally flickers into life to show the Deity of the Damned himself, still at that same undisclosed church.....

.....he tells Jake that tonight's test is not a physical challenge to overcome but a mental one.....because when the word Heretic is bought up, there is only one name that immediately springs to mind.....and that's Jake "The Snake" Roberts.....

".....for in this circle you will find the lost souls damned by their own choices.....because make no mistake, the mere word heresy originates from the Greek word for choice.....choice of lifestyle.....choice of religion.....choice of life.....choice of death.....the choice to believe, the choice not to believe.....but more importantly, the choice WHAT to believe.....

.....once you believed in ME Snake.....once you believed that I was the one to carry your name into a new age.....you placed your faith in me and I was reborn in your image, thrust upon a throne that I never wanted because you were too weak to wear the crown.....once you put your faith in me.....now you put in in another......well what about me?.....WHAT ABOUT RAVEN?....."

.....Raven says that Jakes current obsession with his false idol is the only thing standing between Jake and immortality as a Disciple of the Deity of the Damned.....Jake wants Raven.....Jake wants to hurt Raven.....to make him suffer.....Raven knows that.....Raven accepts that.....and Raven will suffer for Jake's sins with a smile on his face.....and Jake can have that.....he can have that next week.....Raven says that all these trials and tribulations can be forgotten.....the Divine Comedy can laugh it's last laugh tonight, and next week, Raven will meet Jake right there in the middle of the ring.....

".....IF......IF you renounce your false idol right here and right now.....cast your "God" out and embrace the fact that there is only ONE true deity.....the Deity of the Damned.....renounce your god, and receive THE only god that will accept you for the Snake that you truly are....."

.....obviously that's a hard no from Jake.....he tells Raven that he hasn't come this far just to fall at one of the final hurdles.....Jake says that he has spent so much of his adult life on his knee's that he will NEVER fall again....he tells Raven that he's right, there is only ONE true God, and it's certainly not Raven.....he tells Raven that he seems to be under this false assumption that Jake's faith prevents him from unleashing unmitigated horrors upon him, but that's where he's mistaken.....he says that his God is a loving God, but he's also a vengeful God.....and if it means that Jake gets to bask in the glory of paradise, he WILL be his Lords Angel of Death.....his vengeance....his fury.....his wrath will be revealed against the ungodly and the unrighteous, and that means YOU Raven.....

.....so no, Jake will not renounce his God, only embrace him tighter as he continues on his path of revenge.....he tells Raven that he will continue on this Divine Comedy, because nothing can stop him until vengeance is his.....for his god.....for his priest.....for himself.....

".....Trust Me....."

Rating: A*

Quote:

We leave Jake in the ring and head to a brief cut scene in the back, where we find the Wolfpac....and just minutes away from facing off against Chris Jericho and Test, Kevin Nash seems to be down one partner, because once again Scott Steiner is nowhere to be seen.....

.....to say that Kevin Nash looks p!ssed off would be an understatement.....in fact, the former WWF Triple Crown Winner looks positively furious, and his mood doesn't improve any by the arrival of poor Michael Cole, who's obviously been sent to try and get word from Big Sexy.....

.....Cole asks Nash where his partner is, to which Nash gives a humourless laugh, saying that he was hoping that Cole could tell him, because he has no idea.....Cole stirs the pot a little, telling Nash that Scotty abandoned him at Survivor Series, left him hanging a few weeks back against the New Age Outlaws, and it looks like again tonight that Big Poppa Pump is going to be a no show.....with In Your House just two weeks away, is Kevin Nash at all concerned that his Tag Team Title match is going to end up being a Handicap Match?.....

.....Nash says that he's got no problems with fighting two guys on his own, hell, in some cases two guys against Big Sexy is a handicap for THEM, not him.....but In Your House is different, because it's for the straps.....not the straps he WANTS (he wants the WWF Title) but anytime you've got gold around your waist it means extra green in the bank, and Kevin Nash is all about making bank.....

.....Nash says that he'll go out there tonight, if Scotty is there then he's there, but if he's NOT....well, Big Sext has all the back up he needs right here....and he and Steiner, (Nash pauses for a moment to open and close his fist) "we're going to be having a very serious conversation....if you know what I mean Dok....."

Rating: B+

Quote:

.....so we go down to ringside now, to find out will he, or won't he.....appear that is.....because while it's SUPPOSED to be Kevin Nash and Scott Steiner facing Hart Foundation members Chris Jericho and Test, it looks as though Big Poppa Pump has got better things to be doing, because he's nowhere to be seen.....

.....Chris Jericho obviously finds this highly amusing, telling Nash that if he just wants to hobble his broken down old body into the ring, then the Ayatollah of Rock'n'Rolla ("and the TRUE big Sexy of the WWF, Chris Jericho") will promise to make this quick.....

".....Hey Yo.....Chris Jericho, you real good at running your mouth Chico, you a real funny guy.....but the way I see it, Big Kev needs a partner, and I'm right here.....so let's see how funny you find it when the big man(g) and the medium sized man(g) shut your mouth for good....."

.....looks like Nash might have a partner after all.....not the one he was supposed to have, but a partner none the less.....obviously Chris Jericho is incensed by this, screaming at the official that Scott Hall isn't in the match.....the referee it would appear has heard just about enough of Jericho's whining though.....he's going to allow it.....and as Chris Jericho throws a monumental temper tantrum, it's time to get this one underway.....

Rating: A

Quote:

VS.

Ok, so what WAS going to be the team of Kevin Nash and Scott Steiner has changed to the team of Kevin Nash and a different Scott, the Scott that he formerly held the WWF Tag Team Titles with....Scott Hall.....

.....it's interesting that Hall has stepped in for Steiner here, mainly because it puts him in the ring with the man that will be challenging him for the Intercontinental Championship at In Your House, Chris Jericho.....

.....Jericho isn't happy about the inclusion of The Bad Guy in this match, and he pretty much goes out of his way to avoid the Intercontinental Champion, letting Test do most of the heavy lifting....at least until Hall finds himself stuck in the face in peril role, because Jericho is happy to get his hands dirty then.....

.....Jericho and Test control a good portion of the match, working over Hall as Nash paces on the apron, at least until Hall catches a Jericho crossbody attempt, which he converts into the Sack of Sh!t (or S.o.S) Fallaway slam, giving him time to crawl his way towards the waiting Nash.....

.....before he can make the tag however, the sirens wail.....and Big Poppa Pump (along with the beautiful Sable) makes his way out from the back, and he doesn't look happy.....

.....to be fair, I don't think Scotty is ever particularly happy.....but he's REALLY not happy here, making his way down to ringside and asking Nash and Hall (and Waltman who's there at ringside) just what the hell is going on?.....first they refuse to tag him in at the Survivor Series, now they're just TAKING his matches?.....

.....a rather "spirited" debate breaks out between Nash and Steiner (with Hall and Waltman still rather halfheartedly trying to play peacemakers) and that distraction is all Jericho needs, quickly rolling Hall up from behind (hooking a BIG handful of tights) and securing the one, the two......and the three......

Winner(s): Chris Jericho & TestRating: A

Quote:

.....and with the victory in the bag, Jericho and Test get the hell out of dodge and bail to the back, leaving a rather ugly scene to unveil in the ring.....

.....Steiner was p!ssed when he came out, but now Nash is FURIOUS, and Scott Hall doesn't look much happier after being defeated by his In Your House opponent, and the three men decide to air their differences in the ring, as Waltman does his best to defuse the situation.....

.....Steiner again repeats his earlier question, wanting to know why the hell Scott Hall was wrestling in HIS match, with Nash giving the obvious answer, Steiner was nowhere to be found come match time.....Scotty isn't buying that though.....

".....BECAUSE IF YOU'D REALLY BEEN LOOKING FOR ME, YOU WOULD HAVE FOUND ME....I'M A GODDAMN GENETIC FREAK, I'M PRETTY HARD TO MISS.....ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS FOLLOW THE SOUND OF SABLE SCREAMING MY NAME....."

.....Steiner says that they've been trying to keep him out of the spotlight since Survivor Series, and that's fine, Scotty doesn't want to be a part of their stupid little Kennel Club anyway (that's Wolfpac Scotty) all he wants is what's coming to him....his gold, his peaks.....

".....AND SABLE BETWEEN THE SHEETS........NOW THEY SAY, THAT TWO OUTTA THREE AIN'T BAD.....WELL I SAY THATS BULLSH!T.....BECAUSE AS LONG AS THERES NO GOLD AROUND MY WAIST, SABLE AIN'T HAPPY.....AND WHEN SABLE AIN'T HAPPY, SCOTT STEINER AIN'T HAPPY, AND BOYS.....YOU DON'T WANNA SEE ME WHEN I'M NOT HAPPY....."

.....Steiner says that as far as he is concerned, when In Your House rolls around, Kevin Nash can stay in the back and braid his hair for all Steiner cares, he'll go out there and whoop Harlem Heat on his own.....

.....Nash obviously isn't going for that, telling Steiner that if ANYONE is going to be the one to defeat Harlem Heat, it's going to be him, and if Scott Steiner doesn't like that, then he can just kiss his big seven foot ass.....

.....obviously Mr. Volatile, Scott Steiner isn't going to take kindly to words like that and once again a shoving match breaks out between these two former World Champions.....

.....Waltman and (surprisingly) Hall decide that this is neither the time nor the place, and attempt to separate the pair, but they don't seem to want to settle down anytime soon, and in the ensuing tussle Scotty sends Waltman flying with a huge shove, while Nash actually plants Hall on his ass with a shove of his own, but while Nash quickly realises what he's done and turns to help his Wolfpac partner up, Steiner doesn't seem to give a damn.....he tells Nash to show up at In Your House to collect his half of the tag titles, but other than that....

".....STAY OUTTA MY WAY.....ALL OF YOU....."

.....before marching to the back (with Sable in hot persuit) while Jim Ross and Rick Rude question how in the hell these pair are going to work on the same page at In Your House.....Dead Man Walking indeed.....lets go to a commercial ahead of our main event.

Rating: A*

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We're back from commercial, and it's back to back tag team matches (and back to back Hart Foundation matches) here on Raw, as the WWF Champion, The Undertaker teams up once again with Stone Cold Steve Austin, to face Bret and Owen Hart.....

.....the Hart Brothers will be looking to continue the Canadians good form this evening, following Chris Jericho and Test's victory a short while ago, and they couldn't pick better opponents if they are looking to make an impact....after all, Bret will be facing Steve Austin at In Your House (with a shot at the WWF Championship on the line) beat Austin tonight and that gives Bret a major momentum booster on his way to In Your House, and should he beat Austin at In Your House too, well.....the current WWF Champion is the Undertaker, his other opponent this evening, so a victory over him tonight would make Bret pretty confident should he move on to face the Deadman.....

.....this was a great match too....while Bret and Austin were keen to resume their near two year rivalry, the Deadman and Bret certainly have their history, not to mention the fact that the Undertaker and Stone Cold are hardly the best of friends....it made for quite the explosive affair.....

.....in the end however, it seems like Bret is more interested in doing damage to his two (potentially future) opponents, because as Austin and Taker begin to take firm control of the match, Jericho and Test make their second appearance of the night.....storming the ring and drawing the disqualification from the official.....

.....and much like last week, a four on two beatdown ensues.....if the Hitman wants to become the next World Wrestling Federation Champion, then injuring the man he has to face for the number one contendership AND injuring the current champion in the same night might not be a bad idea.....and as Owen, Jericho and Test break away to lay a three on one beating on the Undertaker, Bret drags Austin over to the corner, where he gets him (and himself) into position, wrapping Stone Colds legs around the ring post and locking in a brutal looking figure four leg lock.....

.....and that's when the pyro erupts.....

.....and Kane makes his way out from the back (with Brian Pillman snapping at his heels and yapping like a rabid coyote) and marches straight down to ringside.....

.....the Corporate Cannon remains at ringside, but Kane steps right over that top rope and begins throwing sledgehammer blows at the entire Hart Foundation.....Jericho and Owen both eat a big shot that sends them scurrying to the outside, while Test runs right into a Big Boot that wields the same result.....Kane doesn't seem overly interested in either Bret Hart or Steve Austin, but the Hitman breaks the hold he has on Stone Cold to join his fellow Foundation members, as the four men beat a hasty retreat past a cackling Brian Pillman (who is currently hopping up and down in manic glee with spittle flying everywhere) as he waves them off.....

.....The Deadman drags himself back to his feet and comes face to face with Kane, as the two brothers stare each other down for the second week running.....

.....Pillman is screaming at Kane to take his shot....do as he's told, take the Deadman out....but Kane is clearly reluctant....the Undertaker simply lowers his arms to his side, telling his brother that he won't fight him anymore.....do what ever he must, but remember who he is, and that NOBODY can make him do ANYTHING that he doesn't want to do.....

.....Kane is obviously torn, but Brian Pillman's screech is clearly becoming too much, because suddenly his arm snaps out and his hand closes around the throats of his brother.....

.....to his credit, Taker doesn't so much as flinch, staring Kane square in those dead eyes as he tells him that he won't fight back.....he won't raise a hand to his brother.....

.....and now Brian Pillman is beyond frantic, and he climbs into the ring to hurl abuse at Kane, telling him to finish the Deadman....do it now....do it like he did to his dear old mommy.....

.....not the wisest thing to say.....

.....because (with one hand still wrapped around the throat of the Undertaker) Kane's OTHER arm snaps out, and he grabs Brian Pillman right by the larynx.....and the Corporate Cannon's eyes practically bulge out of his head.....

.....until Kane suddenly gets spun around from nowhere, and dropped.....

.....with a Stone Cold Stunner.....

.....Steve Austin is back to his feet (ok, foot.....he's got a bit of a limp) and with Kane on the mat he flips (a still in shock) Brian Pillman the bird, before dropping HIM with a Stunner too.....

.....Stone Cold drops down to the mat to spit venom in the ear of his former Hollywood Blonde team mate, before getting back to his feet again and turning to leave.....only to get spun straight back around by the Deadman, who isn't happy that Austin just Stunned his brother.....

.....Austin could really care less about The Undertaker's family problems, telling him that "this ain't Jerry Springer, and I don't give a damn about your Big Red B@stard Brother either", before again turning to head to the back.....

.....before The Undertaker spins him back round AGAIN.....

.....and gets Stunned for his troubles.....

.....Stone Cold Steve Austin ain't out here to play happy families, and he's certainly not in the habit of letting ANYONE put their hands on him, even if those hands are cold and dead like our WWF Champion.....Austin may be walking out of here tonight on one leg, but at least he IS walking out of here, unlike Brian Pillman, Kane.......and The Undertaker.....all of whom are flat on their backs, and you've got to assume that there's going to be hell to pay, somewhere down the line......we'll see you next week folks.

We open tonight with a replay of the events we missed last week (complete with "after the show went off the air" graphic in the corner of the screen) accompanied by the ever present tones of the Professor Mike Tenay, Bobby "The Brian" Heenan, and of course Mr. WCW himself, Tony Schiavone.....

.....when we left you last week the unlikely trio of Jean Paul Levesque, Rowdy Roddy Piper and Sting were stood in the middle of the ring, surrounded on all sides by the Titans of Wrestling....a situation which you would THINK the WCW three would have been trying to avoid, but the man called Sting openly invited them into the ring, dropping his trademark baseball bat and waving them in.....so what happened after the show went dark?.....

.....well, for one, the Holy Trinity of Professional Wrestling (Hogan, Savage and Warrior) stood back and let the foot soldiers do their thing, with the Totally Awesome Trinity (Copeland, Cage and Traylor) along with Buff Bagwell forming the first wave of attack.....it's only a short wave however, with Sting, JPL and Piper quickly dispatching of them....that just left three....and those three were certainly more cautious now after seeing their team mates sent packing....the trio warily climb up onto the apron, and feint climbing between the ropes, but they were obviously stalling for time.....because Vince Russo came running down the aisle to "convince" (not that they took much convincing) Hogan et al to return to the back, telling Sting that he'll "get his" next week.....and next week is now.....

Rating: N/A

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.....and now the Titans of Wrestling are making their entrance once again.....

.....the entire group makes its way out as one....although Hollywood Hogan hasn't got quite the usual swagger to his step, but that might have something to do with the fact that he's walking with crutches.....apparently the Champ is hurt?.....

.....the men enter the ring (with Copeland and Cage assisting the "injured" Hogan) and Vince Russo has a microphone.....he says that we are just two weeks away from Starrcade.....two weeks away from the biggest event of the year, and the biggest match of the century.....two weeks away from Hollywood Hogan vs. Sting.....and frankly he's concerned.....

".....and I'm concerned, because WE.....the Titans of Wrestling.....we want you the fans to have the best Starrcade that we can offer, and honestly bro, I don't know if we can do that....."

.....Russo says not to worry though, the Champ is fine (just a little mishap in the gym) he will DEFINITELY be good to go by the time Starrcade is here (although Vince is going to give him the next two weeks off active competition just to be safe......that's convenient) no, what Russo is worried about.....is Sting.....

.....he says that Sting hasn't wrestled a competitive match in close to four months.....sure he was in the Mayhem match, but he came in last and didn't have to stay out there for long.....Russo says that the LAST thing he wants, is to short change all these great fans with a Sting that is nowhere near ring ready.......SOOOOOO.....he's giving Sting a match tonight.....

.....Hogan takes the microphone, telling Sting that while he would love nothing more than to wipe his painted face all over the mat tonight, he's got a slight muscle strain from lifting five thousand pounds at the gym last night, but don't worry Titan Brothers, because he'll be good to go by Starrcade, and tonight, his best friend, The Macho Man Randy Savage is going to fill his boots dude, and show that no good Sting exactly WHO is the Mega Powers of Professional Wrestling are.....

.....that brings out Eric Bischoff.....the public face of the WCW Championship Committee.....and he's got that sh!t eating grin plastered all over his face.....

.....Russo tells Bischoff to scurry back to his little corporate office, saying that this is nothing to do with him, but Eric disagrees.....saying that as the face of the Championship Committee, this is very much "to do with him".....

".....see I know what you're doing Russo, and it's not going to happen.....we are two weeks away from the biggest event of the year, in fact, the biggest event that WCW has period....Starrcade.....and while I know that doesn't mean much to you, it means a lot to these fans and it means a lot to the Championship committee....."

.....Bischoff says that if Russo thinks that he's going to allow him to wear down, wear out and/or potentially injure the number one contender to the WCW Championship two weeks before Starrcade, then Russo is even more stupid than he looks.....ESPECIALLY when he's giving Hogan time off.....Hogan argues this ("Brother, Jack, Dude") telling Bischoff that he's legitimately injured, but Eric isn't buying it, telling The Titans that if the WCW Champion is not wrestling, then neither is the number one contender......

".....but if Mr. Savage there is so insistent in competing tonight, I bumped into a gentleman on my way out here that would be all too willing to give him a match....."

.....plump up the bagpipes, baton down the haggis, and take out your best kilt.....because it's Rowdy Roddy Piper.....

.....Roddy says that if there's one thing he loves doing, it's punching Hollywood Hogan right in the mouth.....but since that's not an option tonight, punching "Hollywood lite" Randy Savage would be equally as satisfying.....

.....Piper says that he knows he has the Macho Man and the Space Cadet Warrior at Starrcade (where he will be teaming with Jean Paul Levesque) but something occurred to him earlier today.....and that's the fact that the Macho Man Randy Savage and Rowdy Roddy Piper have NEVER (ok, maybe one time in the mid 80's) faced each other one-on-one in a televised match.....

".....and that's bothering me a little bit.....sure we had the odd tag match here and there, the odd six man, got ANOTHER tag match at Starrcade, but when it comes to (televised) singles competition, nada, zilch, zero, nothing....and I don't know why.....because I've never liked you Savage....."

.....he tells Savage that as far as he's concerned, the Macho Man is little more than Hogan's puppet....his shadow.....his little lapdog that comes running for a pet on the head anytime Hollywood clicks his fingers.....he says that if there's one thing he hates it's a hypocrite, and that's exactly what Savage is.....

".....see you and Baldylocks there, old "Hollywood" Hogan, you like each other even less than I like you....and I REALLY don't like either of you....you've fought and scratched and clawed and kissed and made up, more times than I can count....you act like best buds when in reality you're only ever a cross word away from "exploding" again.....see me, I'm no hypocrite.....me, I'm a Son of a Bitch, but I'm an honest Son of a Bitch, so when I tell you I don't like you, you can take it as gospel that I don't like you....don't like you today, didn't like you yesterday, won't like you tomorrow, but what I WILL like, is gnawing on your head again tonight, just like I did last week....Mr. Macho....."

.....everyone knows that Randy Savage has a bit of a short fuse, so obviously he accepts the challenge....but he's not coming alone....he's bringing the ("Warrior, Warrior, Warrior Man, Yeah") so Piper might want to reconsider.....Roddy says that's fine, bring the Warrior ("because I don't like him either....Facepaint Frankie there has been tying those tassels a little bit too tight around his arms for too many years now, it's turned him a little cuckoo if you know what I mean") but don't think for a second that Roddy Piper isn't coming without backup of his own......he'll have someone in his corner.....JPL? Lex Luger, Chris Benoit? Diamond Dallas Page? Hell it could be Sting himself.....but for that, they're going to have to wait until later to find out....

Rating: A*

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Our first match of the evening is a tag team encounter featuring two teams that have faced each other on a number of occasions (and drawn surprisingly good grades each time too) as the former WCW Tag Team Champions face off against Mike Awesome and Gideon Cain....

.....the pairing of Awesome and Cain have perhaps not gotten the recognition they have deserved around here, with Mike Awesome being somewhat of a "Goldust" in the respect that he often quietly puts on some very good performances that perhaps go unnoticed, while Gideon Cain has improved in leaps and bounds under the tutelage of Bobby Eaton, to the point that he's gone from absolutely greener than goose sh!t, to a pretty passable worker in a very short space of time.....obviously he still has a long way to go, but he's going to be a solid hand if he continues this upward trajectory.....

.....that being said, this was another good meeting for these two....Awesome and Cain are two big sumbiches, so they're perfect to get in there with the Road Warriors and their smash mouth style.....the four men pound the crap out of each other, with Missy's Men eventually isolating Hawk and going to work on the smaller Road Warrior.....eventually the hot tag is made and the inevitable brawl breaks out as all four men try to pick up the victory.....

.....and there was a victory.....

.....just not the victory that either team was looking for.....because The Forgotten trio come rushing out from the back and begin laying a beating on Hawk and Animal in retribution to the Road Warriors intervention during last weeks three on one assault of the Rock.....and obviously, that's a disqualification.....

Winner(s): The Road Warriors (via Disqualification)Rating: B

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.....and obviously The Forgotten are far from done, because as the bell continues to ring they continue to put the boots to the Road Warriors.....the shoulder strain that Kevin Sullivan picked up during the Mayhem match obviously wasn't too serious, because he's back at full health here, and as Bigelow wraps Hawk up in the Tree of Woe in the corner, Sully let's loose, driving all of his weight into the former tag champion.....

.....as this is going on, Awesome and Cain stand on.....obviously they're no Road Warrior fans considering the number of times the two teams have fought...BUT...they did just lose here through no fault of their own, a fact that Missy points out to her men, who eventually have either a "Eureka" or "F##k it" moment (I'm not sure which) as they drag Vader and Bigelow off the Road Warriors and begin throwing fists at the two behemoths.....

.....obviously the "no sell kings" Hawk and Animal were never going to stay down for long, and soon the duo are back to their feet, and after a brief scuffle it looks as though they're going to go for that Doomsday Device on Kevin Sullivan......

.....fortunately for Sully however (and just before Animal can get him up on his shoulders) Bammers grabs hold of his Forgotten brother, and the three men scarper from the ring and out to the floor.....and they do NOT look pleased by this development.....have Mike Awesome and Gideon Cain turned face?....it's possible (after all, Bobby Eaton has been giving Cain tips on working as a Babyface for some time now) because as Vader, Sullivan and Bigelow make their way back up the aisle (shouting threats of pain, suffering, disfigurement and yes, even death) The Road Warrior's lock eyes with their former foes, before offering somewhat of a truce.....nothing as cliched as say a four man fist bump, but they're not fist bumping each other in the face either, so that's got to count for something....right?....shall we go to a commercial break?....lets calm things down a little bit here.

Rating: A

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Back from commercial and we head down to ringside, where Mean Gene is standing by.....he spends a few minutes shilling the Hotline (obviously) before calling out his guest, the WCW United States Champion (and Papi of Perfection) Eddie Guerrero.....

.....Gene says that in just two weeks time, Guerrero will be putting his Championship on the line against The Rock, and in Mean Gene's opinion this is the one match that Eddie has been trying to avoid since Rocky's arrival several months back.....

.....Eddie is flabbergasted by this suggestion, asking Gene what he's been smoking Holmes?.....

".....The Papi of Perfection don't avoid no-one esŤ.....you must not have been watching these last six months holmes, because Eddie Guerrero has been running through the competition like a hot knife through butter....."

.....Eddie says that like it or not, he's the holder of the most IMPORTANT championship that WCW has to offer.....not the tag titles, not the Television Title, not even the World Title...the United States Championship is the most important title because it's the title that everybody wants, but no one is going to get.....

.....Gene isn't so sure about that, stating that while holding the US Title is a huge honour and accomplishment, the title that everybody wants is the World title surely? Again Eddie disagrees, asking Gene if he thinks Hollywood Hogan is going to give a World Title shot to a Brad Armstrong?.....a BOB Armstrong even?.....because Eddie Guerrero gave them a shot at the US Title, because Eddie Guerrero ducks no one esŤ......the Armstrong's, Rick Martel, Jeff Hardy, Rikishi Fatu.....Curt Hennig.....you name it, Eddie Guerrero has given them a shot, and Eddie Guerrero has walked away the champion each and every time (albeit by dubious circumstances as Gene is quick to point out).....

".....dubious? Who cares about dubious esŤ.....what matters is who's got the gold, and who doesn't.....Eddie Guerrero got the gold, and Rocky I don't know what you smelling holmes, but it's not victory, because you DON'T got the gold....."

.....Eddie says that The Rock isn't even here tonight after getting his butt kicked by the Forgotten last week, but then that's the difference between a CHAMPION.....and a wannabe.....The Rock, he's walked in the door and he's been treated like a star from day one, but Eddie Guerrero has had to fight and claw (and cheat) his way to the top.....he quite literally climbed the ladder of success and he ain't coming down any time soon.....

".....bring that camera over here.....get a good look at my face.....Rocky, look into my eyes holmes, because this ain't about the catchphrases and the nicknames.....this isn't about the "Papi of Perfection", or cheating to win.....this is about Eddie Guerrero.....this is about the United States Championship.....this about me proving, that in a company full of Hogans, Warriors, Savage's, Pipers, Sting's.....that Eddie Guerrero is THE best wrestler alive today....."

.....he says that when Starrcade is all said and done, and The Rock joins that long list of names of people that couldn't take this US Title away from him, there will be no disputing the fact that Eddie Guerrero's name belongs right up there with those so called "Titans" and Icons of Wrestling......if you smell, what Eddie Guerrero.....is cooking.

Rating: A

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VS.

Speaking of Titles, the Television Title is on the line next.....or at least the title of Television Title is on the line next because the actual Television Title is not around the waist of the Television Title Holder.....clear?.....

.....what do you mean no?.....

.....ok.....so Bill Goldberg defeated Lance Storm at out Mayhem event to become the new TV Champion.....Lance Storm apparently took this loss as an affront, not only to himself and Canada, but to the professional wrestling business on the whole, taking it upon himself to steal the Championship belt from ringside, run off like a thief in the night, and declare himself to STILL be the Television Champion.....

.....he's not.....

.....Bill Goldberg is the Television Champion.....unless that is, Jerry Saggs can defeat him here tonight, because then HE would be the new Television Champion.....don't hold your breath though.....

.....this match really comes about off the back of the Amazing French Canadians helping Lance Storm to swipe the TV Title ("Can-a-da, Can-a-da, Can-a-da".....alright Jacques, probably not a chant that's going to catch on any time soon).....which resulted in Goldberg costing the Nasty's a disqualification loss last week....not that Goldberg holds any ill will towards Knobbs or Saggs, it was really just a case of wrong place, wrong time for the Nasty Boys.....much like Jerry Saggs was in the wrong place tonight (right in front of the rookie monster) at the wrong time (just as Bill Goldberg was charging forward).....Spear.....Jackhammer.....goodnight Jerry Saggs.....hello (the lower end of the) Upper Midcard for Bill Goldberg.....not bad for a guy about four months into the business......

.....and Goldberg celebrates moving on up to the Upper Midcard the only way he knows how.....by snarling and snorting in victory.....

.....which is about the time that Lance Storm makes his way out from the back (Television Title around his waist, the Amazing French Canadians by his side) with a microphone in hand.....

.....he tells Goldberg that a gibbering neanderthal like him could never understand the pride that comes with wearing the Television Title.....the title that has been held by some of the greatest of all time, and a slobbering beast like him doesn't deserve to wear this championship....Storm says that fortunately for Goldberg, being that he IS from Calgary.....Alberta, Canada.....that means that he's a sporting man, so he's going to give Goldberg a "sporting" chance......at Starrcade......

.....Storm says that he's willing to put HIS Television Title on the line (erm, it's not your title at all Mr. Storm) just so that he can prove to the word that a good professional wrestler will ALWAYS beat a great brawler.....and he is a man of his word too, letting Goldberg know that this is a one time deal, that expires on the day of Starrcade.....

.....obviously Bill is quick to accept, although let's be clear, he will NOT be challenging for the title.....regardless of who walks to the ring with that belt around their waist Bill Goldberg is the Television Champion, and if Lance Storm doesn't like that, he's going to have to do something about it.....at Starrcade.

Rating: B+

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VS.

Well.....if you thought Bill Goldberg vs. Jerry Saggs was ugly, as the old saying goes, you ain't seen nothing yet.....because it's time for Sid Vicious to make his (Nitro) in ring debut, when he goes one on one with Scott "Flash" Norton.....

.....let's compare the positives in this match.....Psychology? (No).....Selling? (Erm, no).....Technical excellence? (You're kidding right?).....Two big hosses beating the snot out of each other? (Bingo.....give that man a prize).....

.....these two men stiffed and kicked and punched and pounded on each other for around eight minutes (although one minute of which consisted of Sid asking the crowd who the man was....it's Sid, Sid is the Man).....the commentators spoke about Sid's challenge to Ray Traylor, questioning whether Vicious could even get the big Enforcer of the Titans up in that Powerbomb....a question which Sid answered, finishing off the equally large Norton with that very move.....your winner, Sid Vicious.

Winner: Sid Vicious Rating: B-

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Mean Gene makes his way out again as Sid celebrates his first win here in World Championship Wrestling, and he wants to know exactly why Sid has chosen to challenge not only the Titans of Wrestling as a whole, but Ray Traylor in particular? Sid says (through those gritted teeth) that's a simple question, with a simple answer.....

".....you see, the Titans of Wrestling have been going around here like they rule WCW.....the Titans of Wrestling have been going around here like they rule the professional wrestling world.....but when you close your eyes and picture the Master....and the Ruler of the World, only one man comes to mind....and that man's name....is Sid Vicious...."

.....Sid says that there are no "Titans" in professional wrestling.....only men....about to become boys.....when they face the monster that is Sid Vicious (hey, it's a Sid promo, it doesn't have to make sense).....why Ray Traylor in particular? Because it was Ray Traylor, locking that nightstick of his around Sid's throat at Mayhem, which lead to Sid's elimination (and cost him the main event spot at Starrcade) so if Sid doesn't get to fight Hollywood for the WCW Title, then he's going to fight Ray Traylor.....Powerbomb him through the mat.....and shove that nightstick down his throat.

Rating: B+

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VS.

WCW Cruiserweight Championship: First Round Match

From the Super-Heavyweights we move on now to the Light-Heavyweights.....as we showcase the Cruiserweight Division, when Juventud Guerrera faces off against the Duke, Douglas Williams, with a date in the WCW Cruiserweight Semi-Final clash with Tajiri waiting for the winner.....

.....this is somewhat of a clash of styles here, with Guerrera utilising the more usually seen fast highflying antics that you would expect from a cruiserweight encounter, while Douglas attempts to wrestle his faster opponent, grinding him down to the mat.....the combination works however, giving us a pretty good match, and eventually it's the high flying ability of Juvi that turns the tide in his favour, as the Youth Warrior finishes off the Duke with a 450 Splash....Semi-Final, here he comes.....

Winner: Juventud GuerreraRating: C

Quote:

.....and sooner than he thinks.....because his semi-final opponent (Tajiri) comes rushing down the aisle the moment the bell rings, along with Mortis and James Vandenberg.....

.....the two men quickly overpower the half spent Guerrera, before Mortis renders him practically unconscious with a brutal looking Flatliner.....and you'd think that would be enough, but apparently Vandenberg is out here to make an impression, ordering Mortis to pull Juvi up to his feet and hold him in place, as Tajiri nails him right in the temple with a martial arts kick (as Tony Schiavone calls it) that leaves Juventud slumped on the mat in a heap.....

.....fortunately for Juvi, help is at hand, in the form of a gentleman who has had more than his fair share of problems with James Vandenberg's little circus of horrors, Jeff Hardy.....

.....Hardy rushes down to ringside and slides under the bottom rope....he's ready to fight.....

.....but apparently Vandenberg's disciples are not.....because the moment he hits the ring the two men stop their assault of Guerrera and calmly back away, before eventually completely exiting the ring and walking to the back, leaving a confused looking Jeff Hardy in their wake.....

.....the announcers talk about the fact that James Vandenberg has assured Hardy that as long as he is alive within this Cruiserweight tournament, his men will not harm so much as one hair on his head, and despite Schiavone's initial scepticism, it would appear that this is very much the case.....Vandenberg, Mortis and Tajiri peacefully walk away and disappear to the back, while a still slightly confused Jeff Hardy helps Juventud back to his feet.....

.....time for a Starrcade commercial as we try to calm things down around here, we'll see you in a few minutes.....

Rating: B

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.....and when we do return, we are backstage.....where Mean Gene is standing by with the Totally Awesome Trinity of Adam Copeland, Christian Cage, and The Enforcer Ray Traylor.....

.....Gene isn't holding back here, telling the Trinity that after spending months now mocking the competition, assaulting, interfering and generally being a menace to the WCW locker room, their big mouths might have finally written a cheque that they just can't cash.....

.....The Enforcer isn't going to let some announcer badmouth the Trinity like that, and he grabs Gene by the lapels of his jacket (causing Gene to shout that he has his lawyers on speed dial) but Copeland talks Traylor down, calming the big man.....

".....see Gene, we're totally reasonable guys.....but if you think that the Totally Awesome Trinity sweat ANYONE, then you obviously haven't seen us in action.....see you have The Rock walking around here asking everyone if they can smell what he's cooking.....you know what we can smell Gene?....."

.....Copeland and Cage stop for a minute to sniff the air, before slapping Traylor on the chest.....

".....you smell that Ray?.....what is that smell?.....oh wait.....it's US......because we totally reek of awesomeness....."

.....the WCW Tag Champions have a good laugh at that (and even the Enforcer cracks a rare smile) before telling Gene that if he really thinks that the Trinity have anything to worry about come Starrcade then he must be going senile in his old age.....

.....Cage says that Benoit and Page have been trying to hang with the Titans for months now, and all it's gotten them is a bunch of Totally Awesome ass kickings.....he says that they couldn't hang with Hogan.....they could hang with Savage.....they couldn't hang with Warrior.....in fact, the only "Titan" they ever beat was Jean Paul Levesque, and they totally kicked him to the curb.....

.....they say that Chris Benoit has the personality of a pine cone, and as for Diamond Dallas Page, the only thing that's main event quality with him, is his old lady's rack.....

".....she's totally hot Gene....."

.....Cage tells Gene to pull up a chair, take a load off, massage his liver spots and watch that monitor right there, because by the time Cage is done with DDP tonight, he's going to be sharing a room with Mean Gene in the retirement home.....

Rating: B+

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VS.

.....and that match is right now.....

.....Christian Cage doesn't find himself in singles action too often, but he's not straying too far from his support circle here, because both Adam Copeland (his usual partner) and Ray Traylor (his Amigo in Awesomeness) are accompanying him to ringside.....not to be outdone Diamond Dallas Page hasn't come out alone either, he has Chris Benoit (his partner at Starrcade) and the beautiful Kimberly (his partner in life) with him.....that's a lot of bodies at ringside.....

.....considering that Cage is predominantly a tag team competitor, this match was really very good.....both Copeland and Cage are being tipped for big things in the future by the industry insiders, and it's safe to say that this is a little glimpse of what we could perhaps see some time down the road.....but not any time soon, because this Trinity are too Totally Awesome to break up.....

.....there was a lot of action OUTSIDE the ring too in this one, because between Adam Copeland letting Kimberly know that she is "Totally Hot" on a number of occasions, Benoit and The Enforcer almost came to blows on a number of occasions as well.....and it was one of these occasions that bought an end to the contest.....Benoit and Traylor engage in a shoving match around the same time that Kimberly slapped Copeland right in the face after one too many unwanted advances.....that caught the attention of Christian Cage, who took his eye of Page for just a split second.....and a split second was all it took.....

.....for Page to land the Diamond Cutter.....

.....and that was all she wrote.....

Winner: Diamond Dallas PageRating: B+

Quote:

.....and obviously the Trinity (the conscious members that is, because Christian is out) don't like that, and as Copeland blindsides Benoit from behind on the outside The Enforcer rolls into the ring with his trusty nightstick, which he wraps around the back of Page's head.....

.....Copeland rolls Benoit under the bottom rope, where (with DDP down) Traylor goes to work on the Canadian Crippler, while Copeland tosses a couple of chairs into the ring and goes to work reviving his partner.....

.....Cage finally comes back around, and as he groggily gets back to his feet he is handed a chair by his partner, and as the WCW Tag Team Champions surround Page, it looks as though we are about to see a Con-Chair-To to Diamond Dallas Page.....

.....which is when the Master and Ruler of the World, Sid Vicious, makes his second (third I guess, if you count his post match promo) appearance of the evening.....

.....he climbs into the ring behind Copeland (which Cage sees and indicates wildly to his partner) snatching the steel chair out of the (Totally Surprised) Tag Champions hands.....

.....obviously, no one wants to share a ring with a chair wielding Sid Vicious, and Copeland and Cage quickly bail from the ring, screaming at The Enforcer to get the hell out of there.....Traylor doesn't hear the warnings however, he too intent on choking the life out of Benoit.....

.....he feels the steel chair that gets bent over his back though.....

.....and he WOULD have felt first hand what it feels like to be Powerbombed through the mat (because Sid had him in position) had it not been for Copeland and Cage each reaching under the bottom rope and grabbing an ankle each of Traylor, dragging the Enforcer to the safety of the outside, before scurrying to the safety of the back.....Randy Savage of the Titans of Wrestling is in action next, and I think it's safe to say that the Totally Awesome Trinity will NOT be a factor in that particular match.

Rating: B+

Quote:

We have a quick commercial break and then it's back to ringside.....before our main event can begin however, The Macho Man makes his entrance along with Vince Russo, Hollywood Hogan (who is still on crutches) The Warrior, and finally Buff Bagwell.....obviously the Totally Awesome Trinity are still licking their wounds in the back.....

.....the group enter together, but as they reach the aisle way, Russo, Hogan, Warrior and Buff splinter off from Savage, heading over to the announce desk as the Macho Man continues towards the ring.....

.....Russo orders Schiavone, Tenay and Heenan to beat it (with Heenan practically running as the Warrior approaches him) before Vinnie Ru, Hogan and Buff take up a headset each.....looks like we're going to have an all Titan announce team for this one fans.....and it's going to be a biggie....

Rating: N/A

Quote:

VS.

.....because it's the Macho Man Randy Savage facing off against Rowdy Roddy Piper.....and if you were looking for "titans of wrestling" they perhaps don't get any bigger than this.....

.....these two are set to clash again in tag team action at Starrcade, when Randy Savage teams with The Warrior, and Piper teams with a p!ssed off Jean Paul Levesque.....a Jean Paul Levesque who is out for blood after watching (or rather being FORCED to watch by the Warrior) his best friend Shawn Michaels get left in a bloody pulp at the hands of Randy Savage.....

.....Piper doesn't have such a blood feud going on with the Titans, but it's safe to say that any group featuring Hollywood Hogan is going to have an enemy in Roddy Piper.....

.....this match really was very good (considering Pipers diminishing abilities) but then Randy Savage has been THE most consistent performer in WCW for quite some time now.....I think it's safe to say that the Macho Man had something to prove after being thought "too old" for Vince McMahon's New Generation a few years back, so much so that it completely rejuvenated the man.....

.....there is plenty of brawling involved (something that both men are proficient in) and the outside of the ring sees about as much action as the inside does, and it's a pretty damn even affair.....not that you would know it by the commentary, because Russo, Bagwell and (especially) Hogan do nothing but run Piper down.....and not just Piper.....because Hollywood has plenty to say about his #1 Contender, Sting.....he says that he is out here, valiantly on one leg to ensure that all those little Hollywood-Maniacs (that worship the ground he walks on) get to see their hero.....something that Sting can't say.....because while Hollywood is rather severely injured, there is NOTHING wrong with Sting, and as per usual, he's nowhere to be seen.....

".....and brothers, since these people here tonight paid to see Hollywood, let's show them Hollywood.....Brother Buff, let's show these people how we do it.....Titan style....."

.....there is a rustling of microphones being thrown down, and a moment or two of announcing silence as Bagwell, Warrior, and Hogan (still limping along with his crutches) make their way down the aisle, before Schiavone, Tenay and Heenan finally return to the announce table, where they question exactly what it is that the Titans have planned.....

.....they don't have to wait for long.....

.....and they're not the only ones making their way out either.....

.....because JPL comes rushing out from backstage, and he goes straight for the Warrior, picking up with the brawl they were in the midst of last week.....of course, that is somewhat distracting to the official, who doesn't see Buff Bagwell climbing up onto the apron (drawing the attention of the Hot Rod) leaving Hogan free to sneak into the ring behind him....and crack that crutch straight over the back of Piper, leaving a splintered mess on the mat, before practically sprinting out of the ring, leaving the (WCW) announce team to declare that there's absolutely NOTHING wrong with the leg of Hollywood Hogan.....

.....Savage climbs to the top rope, and he leaps with that patented Flying Elbow, and that was all she wrote.....your winner.....Randy Savage.

Winner: Randy SavageRating: B+

Quote:

.....not that the Titans are done.....not by a long shot.....and with Piper down, Levesque might just be joining his buddy Shawn Michaels on the injured list....because it's four against one, and he's in serious trouble.....

.....or not.....

.....because the Titans don't actually target him.....

.....well, they do.....just not for very long......and after getting destroyed for a minute by his four opponents, Levesque once again finds himself being held back by the Warrior, and forced to watch as Piper is jumped by Bagwell, Savage and Hogan (with Hogan taking great joy in whipping his Wrestlemania I opponent with his weight lifting belts.....laughing as he does so).....

.....they keep up that pace for a minute, before employing a new tactic....destroy that artificial hip of the Hot Rod, with whatever happens to be at hand.....

.....Hogan wraps that weightlifting belt around his fist and lands blow after blow to the hip of Piper, as the Rookie Titan Buff Bagwell picks up a steel chair from the outside......

.....Savage delivers a stinging slap to Levesque, before clutching him by the face and forcing him to look at Piper, telling him that this is what happens to people when they get in the Titan's way.....

.....Bagwell lets out an obnoxious laugh, before absolutely going to town with the steel chair, crashing it into the hip of Piper over and over and over again, until the Hot Scot is crying out in agony as Levesque is helpless to stop it....Hollywood Hogan may have been faking injury earlier tonight, and clearly didn't really need that crutch at all, but Roddy Piper is most definitely going to need some form of walking aid following this vicious attack.....

.....fortunately help is at hand.....as the number one contender to Hollywood Hogan's World Title rappels down from the rafters, and this crowd erupts as Sting lands in the entrance way.....unhooks his harness.....and pulls that trusty black bat out from underneath his trench coat.....

.....these are some mighty big odds to overcome however.....there are four Titans in the ring (well, two and a half really, since Warrior still has hold of Levesque, and Savage has to split his time between kicking Piper and helping his Starrcade team mate to restrain JPL) but Sting doesn't seem to care.....

.....surprisingly Hogan doesn't seem to care either, grabbing a microphone and telling Sting that he's nothing if not predictable.....

".....see, the problem with you Sting, is that just like your face paint you think the world is nothing but black and white brother.....but you forgot about the shades of gray.....WCW's Knight in Shining Armour, always here to save the day.....but tell me something Stinger, who's going to be there.....to save YOU?....."

.....suddenly The Giant comes rushing out from the back.....and with Sting's attention firmly on Hogan, he doesn't realise that the big man is there until Giant nails him in the back of the skull with a massive headbutt that drops Sting to his knee's.....

.....the announcers inform us that Lex Luger is not here tonight (he's currently rehabbing and resting those ribs and that back following the abuse he's received in recent weeks) but as the commentator point out, The Giant has plenty of pent up aggression with Sting that he's looking to unleash, and unleash he does, laying into the blindsided Sting with hammering blows that leave the Stinger rocked, before sending him flying into the crowd rails.....

.....Warrior (and Savage) continue to restrain Levesque, and Piper is still down at the hands (or rather, chair) of Buff Bagwell, leaving Hogan to egg the Giant on as he basically softens up his Starrcade opponent.....he reminds the Giant of all the times Sting did him wrong....the matches he cost him, the baseball bats he assaulted him with, eliminating him from Mayhem (etc, etc) and the Giant gets more irate with each word.....

.....finally he drags Sting up the ramp to the entrance way, where he lifts the Stinger high up in the air by the throat, before sending him crashing down to the steel entrance stage with such force that he dents the (gimmicked) steel, leaving him a black and white broken mess, as the show comes to a close to that very image, with the sound of Hollywood Hogan laughing maniacally over the house mic, as those damned Titans of Wrestling (and the Giant) make their presence felt, just a few weeks away from Starrcade.....

As the clock ticks down and we count down the days and weeks until the granddaddy of them all, WCW Starrcade, it's that time once again....it's time, for WCW Monday Nitro.....and what better way to open the show, than with arguably the biggest names in all of professional wrestling, the Titans of Wrestling.....

.....Hollywood Hogan leads the way (playing air guitar with the WCW Title all the way down the aisle) and clearly this group is in a VERY good mood this evening....and why wouldn't they be?.....after all it was just last week that after months and months of Sting throwing a spanner into the works of the Titan's plans, they FINALLY gained a measure of revenge, setting the trap (and forcing the distraction) that lead to Sting being ambushed, battered, bruised, and finally (after being Chokeslammed so hard on the entrance way that he dented the steel flooring) destroyed by the seven foot tall Giant of WCW.....

.....Hogan grabs the microphone, and he very much enjoys mocking the fact that Sting was left laying last week, before stating that if anything, the Giant did Sting a favour.....

".....after all, it was only a matter of time before Hollywood Hogan got his hands on you Sting, and THEN brother, getting choke-slammed through that steel stage last week would have been like a dream come true compared to what Hollywood would have done to you dude...."

.....Hogan pauses for a moment to check the rafters, holding his hand up to shield his eyes from the house lights, before telling his Titan brothers that he don't see no WCW Phantom up in the air tonight, because Sting knows that if he came into this ring right now Hollywood would break him in half brother.....Hogan invites Sting into the ring, telling him that he'll send the rest of the Titans to the back so it will just be him and Hogan Mano et Mano, but after a few minutes wait there is no sign of the number one contender, and as Hollywood laughs and calls Sting a chicken, the commentators discuss the fact that while he is certainly no "chicken" Sting is clearly not here this evening following the assault he was on the receiving end of last week.....

.....and speaking of people who were on the receiving end of an assault last week.....

.....Randy Savage takes the microphone next, telling Jean Paul Levesque that he might want to stop making friends around here.....

".....because it seems to me, that it seems to be, that spending time with you is bad for people's health, yeah.....your little friend Shawn Michaels?.....BLAM!.....taken out just like that.....thinks he's the man but he bleeds just like a stuck pig, yeah.....

.....and then there's Roddy Piper.....Rowdy, Rowdy.....he's not so Rowdy now.....not walking so well either, you dig? Not after Big Bad Buff did his Stuff anyway, yeah....."

.....Bagwell joins Macho in mocking Piper, telling Levesque that the beating that the Rowdy one took at the hands of Buff is NOTHING compared to what's going to happen to him at Starrcade, when the Ultimate Maniacs tear him apart.....

.....so who does that leave? Just the Totally Awesome Trinity of course.....

.....Copeland and Cage are (as usual) the annoying douchebags we've all come to know and love, The Enforcer on the other hand looks even more serious than usual, and he stands seething in the background as Copeland and Cage run down their Starrcade opponents (Chris Benoit and Diamond Dallas Page) telling the twosome that they "totally made them interesting for the first time ever last week".....they tell the Baron of Boredom Chris Benoit that they were only one more punch away from knocking a personality into him last week, and that they WERE going to introduce DDP to the most Totally Awesome move ever (the Con-Chair-To) but they were worried that at his age, he might have fallen and not got back up, so they totally didn't do that (nothing to do with Sid Vicious making an appearance then boys? No? Ok, whatever you say).....Cage says that Page might have picked up a sneak win last week, but if he was here right now, The Totally Awesome Trinity would like nothing more than to kick his ass one more time "especially if you bought your totally hot wife out with you".....unfortunately (says Copeland) they're going to have to wait until Starrcade.....which is when the usually silent but violent Ray Traylor snatches the microphone from a surprised looking Copeland.....

.....he tells his cohorts that they don't have to wait until Starrcade.....they can do this right now, after all, the boss (Vince Russo) is standing right there.....Copeland and Cage are caught off guard by this, stuttering over a multitude of reasons for not facing Page and Benoit again tonight, but Traylor doesn't seem to hear them, telling Russo that Sid Vicious dared to put his hands on him last week, and he wants his ass now.....in fact, the Totally Awesome Trinity want Page, Benoit AND Sid Vicious, RIGHT NOW.....

".....ain't that right Boys?....."

".........................."

".........................."

"......I said ain't that right Boys?....."

".....yeah?.......yeah.....right.....totally....."

.....actually, the WCW Tag Team Champions sound like they would rather do anything BUT face Benoit, Page and Vicious tonight, but Traylor is blind to that fact, telling Russo to make the match and make it for RIGHT NOW.....

.....Russo doesn't actually look like he wants to make that particular match right now (after all, why put the tag team champions in a match and risk injury for nothing) but Traylor is insistent, and finally (much to the horror on the faces of Copeland and Cage) he agrees, telling Page, Benoit and Vicious to get out here.....and bring a referee with them.....because that match is next.....

Rating: A*

Quote:

VS.

.....Benoit, Page and Vicious were TOTALLY not prepared for this match.....in fact, they were so unprepared that they haven't even had time to change into their wrestling gear, with all three men out here in their street clothes.....

.....to be fair, Copeland and Cage weren't prepared for this match either, but at least they have their gear on.....

.....the Tag Champions clearly don't want to engage too much with Benoit and Page here, and they let The Enforcer do the brunt of the work in the opening moments of the match, letting him work out whatever pent up aggression he seems to have.....they do finally get into the action once one member of the opposing team (Benoit) has been isolated, reverting to their more usual (and annoying) selves, but all that bravado disappears towards the end of the match, mainly because they lose their "muscle" when Sid Vicious and Ray Traylor take their personal issues to the outside, and eventually brawl all the way to the back, leaving a panicked looking Copeland and Cage alone with a Diamond Dallas Page and Chris Benoit who are out for revenge following last weeks attack.....

.....they do stay in the fight briefly, but as soon as the WCW pair begin to mount some sort of offence the Tag Champs totally bail, happy enough to take a count-out loss if it gets them away from a determined Benoit and Page, collecting their title belts and disappearing to the back as the official reaches a count of ten.....and this one is over.

Mean Gene makes his way out to join a disappointed looking Chris Benoit and Dallas Page in the ring....clearly this wasn't the victory they were looking for....

.....Gene says that he's just passed a rather chaotic scene in the back, where Doug Dillinger and his crack team of security guards were trying (rather unsuccessfully) to separate a battling Sid Vicious and Ray Traylor.....

".....with that being said, you two gentlemen must be quite pleased to have picked up the victory against your Starrcade opponents here this evening, especially considering that you yourself DDP, also defeated Christian Cage last week.....that's quite the good run of results against the WCW Tag Team Champions....."

.....Page doesn't share Gene's enthusiasm, telling him that singles wins and count-out victories don't mean a thing when it comes to capturing the TAG team titles.....

.....he says that they didn't come here this evening expecting to face the Totally Crappy Trinity (hell, they're not even dressed to compete) but that doesn't mean that they wanted some cheap count-out win.....last week those "jack-off's" left him and Benoit laying.....not because they were better, tougher, or more determined to win, but because they are nothing but snakes who jump people from behind with nightsticks and steel chairs.....well at Starrcade, they're going to have to look DDP and Chris Benoit right in the eye and face them head on, and when that happens.....

".....you're going to be looking at the brand new WCW Tag Team Champions right here.....because Copeland.....Cage.....you will, Feel....the.....BANG!....."

.....will the Totally Awesome Twosome feel the bang at Starrcade? I guess time will tell.....let's go to commercial.

Rating: B+

Quote:

VS.

And we're back.....as two music genres collide.....it's Hip Rock vs. Disco, as the Kid Rock clone Kid Kash faces off against Saturday Night Fever loving Disco Inferno.....and to say that no one was particularly excited for this one would be an understatement.....I don't know about Saturday Night Fever, but this one had B-Show WCW Saturday Night all over it.....

.....so why the hell did we showcase it on Monday Nitro?.....

.....well, so the Forgotten could run in and destroy both men obviously.....

.....to be fair, this match wasn't THAT bad.....and we ARE trying to showcase the Cruiserweight competitors a bit more, what with the crowning of a Cruiserweight Champion only being a few weeks away.....Kid Kash is every bit the Cruiserweight competitor we are looking for, he has a great look, decent in the ring, can fly....all he really needs to do is develop a bit of a following and he could well find himself competing for that brand new title belt.....

......Disco Inferno on the other hand is perhaps the antithesis of what you would expect from a Cruiserweight competitor.....he doesn't really fly, nor is he a particularly gifted mat wrestler.....he does cut the weight limit though (just) so IS technically a Cruiserweight, and he's solid enough in the ring to give you an entertaining enough match (he's certainly more over than Kash too.....and wasn't happy about not getting the victory here).....

.....that being said, they were only out there tonight for one thing, and that was to be squashed.....

.....the Forgotten causally walked down the aisle mid match, climb into the ring.....and begin destroying both men.....this is over just like that.....

Winner: No ContestRating: D+

Quote:

.....not that the beating is over.....but fortunately for Kash and Disco, it doesn't last long.....Vader, Bigelow and Sullivan completely overwhelm the two Cruiserweight (with Vader alone outweighing both men combined) before they get completely annihilated by a Vader Powerbomb and a Bigelow Diving Headbutt respectively.....and with the damage done, Sully tosses both men from the ring and grabs a microphone.....I guess we are about to find out the reason for this interruption after all.....

.....Sully says that in their war against the "New York" interlopers, they have kept the casualties on the side of the invading forces.....there has been no friendly fire here, and the true blue WCW faithful has remained relatively unscathed.....but it would seem that some people have decided to rebel against the rebellion.....

".....Mike Awesome.....Gideon Cain.....last week, all you had to do was climb out of the ring and walk to the back, and you could have saved yourselves a whole world of hurt.....instead, you decided to put yourselves in between US and THEM.....and NOW, it's time for you to stand trial for your crimes against the Forgotten....."

.....Sully says that if it's a fight they want, then it's a fight they shall have.....so why don't they get out here and take their punishment like men.....

.....ask and you shall receive.....say what you will about Mike Awesome and Gideon Cain, but even during their extended time as heels they never turned down a fight.....do you think they are going to start backing down now they've (somewhat) turned face?.....of course not.....and it's not long before they make their way out from the back with their valet, Missy Hyatt in tow.....

.....the two men pause at the top of the entrance ramp to send Missy to the back (clearly they don't trust Sullivan not to slap a woman about) before running down the aisle and straight into the ring.....

.....they get off to a good start too, considering there are three Forgotten members and only two of Awesome and Cain.....mainly because as Cain enters the ring, he ducks under a Bam Bam Bigelow clothesline attempt and sends Sullivan crashing to the outside with a running Big Boot.....

.....from there Awesome and Cain turn their attention to Bigelow and Vader, as these four men absolutely unload on each other.....Vader has Awesome in one corner and is unloading with those patented "Vader" clubbing blows, while Gideon Cain and Bam Bam Bigelow are hammering each other up against the ropes, finally tumbling through the middle rope and landing on the outside, where they continue to brawl.....

.....after clubbing Awesome, Vader goes for an Irish Whip, sending his victim into the opposite corner.....Awesome is nobodies victim however, and before he connects with the turnbuckles he leaps and lands (rather impressively) on the top rope, before leaping backwards and dropping Vader with a flying back elbow.....it's certainly easier to display Mike Awesome's impressive ability as a babyface, that's for sure.....

.....Gideon Cain has got the better of Bammers on the outside, but it's a somewhat short lived advantage, because after regaining his composure on the floor, Kevin Sullivan brains young Cain with a stiff steel chair shot.....

.....now the numbers advantage plays in the Forgotten's favour, because with Cain down it leaves all three men free to triple team Mike Awesome, who (try as he might) is unable to over come the odds, as Vader finally Powerbomb's the big man to the mat.....

.....the Forgotten then turn their attention to Gideon Cain, who is already out of it following that chair shot.....Sullivan is clearly looking to make a statement here, and as Vader and Bigelow stomp on Cain, he calls a halt to the assault, just long enough to order Vader to stick him with a Powerbomb.....that should have been enough, but not for Sullivan, who sends Bammers up top.....and not for the diving headbutt either, he wants to cause as much damage to the midsection of Cain as possible.....he wants the Moonsault (which Bigelow delivers).....he wants a second rope Vader Bomb (which Vader delivers).....and he wants to crack a rib or two himself (delivering that Double Stomp of his).....and just like that, Mike Awesome is down, and Gideon Cain has been utterly destroyed.....a beating by the Forgotten that neither man will ever "forget".

Rating: A*

Quote:

From there we go to a pre-recorded segment with Lex Luger.....it begins with a montage of sorts, shots of him stretching and generally rehabbing his back following a gruelling few weeks of abuse, before switching to shots of him in the gym.....instead of your usual gratuitous bicep curl shots and bench press feats, Luger seems to be concentrating on one move.....the squat.....why? Well he lets us know, with a brief promo on the tail end of a particularly heavy squat.....he's going to Rack the Giant at Starrcade.....

.....there was nothing earth shattering to the promo, just your basic Lex Luger promo with lots of shouting and pointing.....he says that The Giant wanted him fully fit for Starrcade, well he's going to get his wish.....because he's nearly back to 100%, and if anything he's going to come back even stronger.....

.....he says that The Giant destroyed their friendship and then tried to place the blame firmly on Lugers shoulders.....well that's fine, Lex can take it.....but at Starrcade, the only thing that's going to be placed on his shoulders will be The Giant.....because he IS going to get the big man up in the Torture Rack, and when he does, the whole world is going to hear The Giant scream like a seven foot tall, four hundred and some odd pound baby.....

Rating: B+

Quote:

VS.

.....we only really aired that promo there so that the medical personnel had chance to scrape Gideon Cain and Mike Awesome up off the match, and the commentators inform us that while it is a preliminary examination, it would appear as though Gideon Cain has suffered from a number of broken ribs following that vicious assault by the Forgotten, and will likely be unable to compete for a number of weeks.....

.....so that means that we've had two matches so far tonight.....one count-out finish, one no-contest......what's next, a Disqualification?.....

.....doubtful.....

.....because it's not so much a case of what's next, but rather Who's Next, as Bill Goldberg (still without his Television Title) puts both his gold AND his wining streak on the line, against Brian Knobbs, fresh off defeating his Nasty Boy partner Jerry Sags last week.....

.....truthfully, this was pretty ugly.....Goldberg is improving weekly, but he's still pretty green.....he might be firmly planted in the Upper Midcard now, but he is still only six mo the removed from the Power Plant.....and Brian Knobbs.....well, he's Brian Knobbs.....twelve years in the business and no ones ever accused him of being a wizard on the mat.....

.....they punch, kick, slam and pound their way through the match, until Goldberg finally did what everyone was waiting for......Spear......Jackhammer......one, two, three.....

We leave Goldberg in the ring (snarling into a nearby camera that he's coming for his belt at Starrcade) and head to the back, where Mean Gene is in the locker room of Jean Paul Levesque.....

.....JPL is half dressed ready for his match, and in the process of lacing up his boots when Mean Gene enters the room to ask for a moment of his time.....

.....he says that three weeks ago at Mayhem, JPL had to stand and watch as his best friend Shawn Michaels was left battered and bloodied on the floor backstage.....last week he had to stand back and watch as the man that offered to stand by his side at Starrcade (Roddy Piper) was almost crippled at the hands of the Titans of Wrestling.....tonight, it's supposed to be himself and Piper teaming up to face the team of Buff Bagwell and The Giant, but Roddy Piper does not appear to be here?.....

.....Gene says that if that's the case, then why is he preparing for his upcoming tag team match when he doesn't have a tag team partner?.....Levesque says that he's preparing because he has a match.....

".....partner or no partner.....

.....see Gene, you're right, for the past few weeks I've had to sit back and watch.....WATCH, as Shawn Michaels, a man who came here to watch my back was left a broken mess, I don't even know how Shawn is doing because he hasn't returned my calls.....last week I had to watch as another man that offered to watch my back was left practically crippled.....Roddy HAS returned my calls, and he's probably not going to make it back in time for Starrcade either.....

.....I'm done watching Gene.....

.....we are two weeks away from Starrcade.....the granddaddy of them all, and I'm damned if anything is going to stop me from facing Randy Savage and The Warrior, partner or no partner.....so tonight, I don't have anyone in my corner.....and I don't WANT anyone in my corner....."

.....Levesque says that no one else is going to get taken out just for watching his back, he's going to do it alone, starting tonight.....and Buff Bagwell, for what he did to Rowdy Roddy Piper.....JPL is going to break his leg.....

Our next match was a bit of an odd one to say the least.....not so much the competitors since the opposing teams will be facing each other in singles competition next week in the two Cruiserweight Championship semi-final matches, it was more the way that the match went down.....because Yoshihiro Tajiri refused to lay a single hand on Jeff Hardy.....

.....at all.....

.....it wasn't a two way street either, Hardy was clearly eager to compete against Tajiri (after spending a good portion of his time here in WCW locked in a feud with James Vandenberg's motley crew) but Tajiri point blank refused to get into the ring with the youngster.....

.....Guerrera, now that was a different matter.....Tajiri will be facing the Youth Warrior next week on Nitro, and was more than happy to lock horns with the Mexican Superstar (much like Alex Wright had no problem in competing against Hardy) but as soon as Jeff Hardy entered the match, Tajiri tagged out.....much to the annoyance of his partner tonight.....

.....it was this refusal to compete against Hardy that actually lead to the finish of the match, with Jeff Hardy and Alex Wright the legal men (and with Das Wunderkind desperately looking to make the tag) Hardy dropped his opponent with a Twist of Fate.....and as Tajiri watched on (without even attempting to break up the cover) the official counted one, two, three.....and this one was over.....

Winner(s): Juventud Guerrera & Jeff HardyRating: B

Quote:

With the action concluded Jeff Hardy rolls off Wright and rushes at Tajiri (who is still standing on the apron).....he doesn't reach him in time however, and Tajiri quickly drops to the floor and back his way up the aisle, where he is joined by James Vandenberg and Mortis who make their way out from the back.....

.....Hardy has had enough of the mind games, and openly invites all three men into the ring, but Vandenberg holds a hand up asking for calm.....he tells Jeff that if he wants to get physical with Tajiri, the answer is simple.....

".....win your match next week, and Tajiri will be yours at Starrcade, because I can assure you that Juventud Guerrera will feel the heavy weight of defeat embrace him next week.....win your match and Tajiri is yours.....but be careful what you wish for.....because you might not like what happens when the veil of protection is lifted from you....."

.....and just like that the trio turn and leave, with nothing more than a bitterly frustrated (and possibly distracted) Jeff Hardy in their wake, as we go to a commercial break.....

Rating: B-

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.....and when we return we go to straight to the parking lot of the arena, and a shot that has the words "During the Commercial Break" in the bottom left hand corner of the screen.....

.....the commentators tell us that our camera's caught the Television Champion Bill Goldberg leaving the arena for the evening following his victory earlier in the night. His bags are packed (although there is a certain gold belt that's missing from his possession) and he's just tossing them into his car, before walking around to the drivers side.....

.....just as he's about to open the door, another car comes screeching into shot, and appears to be heading straight for the rookie.....and I don't think even Bill Goldberg would win a fight with a speeding car).....Goldberg manages to throw himself out of the way at the last second, as the unknown vehicle (no, it wasn't a White Hummer) tears out of the parking lot, as Goldberg snarls at it as it makes its exit.....and the commentators are quick to point out that they don't know who was driving, or what their intention was, but one thing is for sure.....

.....the vehicle had Canadian plates.....

Rating: B

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With that recap out of the way we head right back down to ringside, as the most electrifying man in all of sports entertainment gets a taste of good old fashioned British hospitality.....or rather inhospitality, because taking out a name like The Rock would be a huge scalp for His Lordship, Steven Regal.....

.....Steven Regal really is a tremendously underrated commodity to have on your roster.....do you want some comedy? Regal can do that.....an obnoxious heel? He can certainly do that.....want someone to carry a championship? Regal can carry most all titles with pride.....one of the most solid and dependable workers on ANY roster, and if you want someone to go out there, put on a great match, and lose without so much as a quibble? Well that's exactly what he did here, so I guess he can do that too.....

.....The Rock may have Eddie Guerrero and a shot at the United States Championship coming up at Starrcade, but tonight he certainly had his hands full with the former four time Television Champion. Rocky has been eager to face opponents that he's never faced, well he gets his wish here with this first time match, and it really was a great one.....in the end though Rocky catches Regal with a Rock Bottom, and that was all she wrote for His Lordship.....

Winner: The RockRating: B+

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.....following which, Mean Gene makes his way out, clearly keen to get word with the man who will be challenging for United States Championship at Starrcade.....he states that it's good to have The Rock back after his absence last week, but he's also quick to recap Eddie Guerrero's comments made during last weeks show.....The Rock says that he heard Eddie Guerrero's words last week, and he'll get on to that in a moment.....

".....but first The Rock wants to talk about a 450lb sack of monkey crap by the name of Big Van Vader.....yeah, you beat The Rock two weeks ago.....yeah, you left The Rock laying.....but you didn't do it by yourself.....it took you, that tattooed bald b!tch Bam Bam Bigelow, the Crypt-Keeper Kevin Sullivan, and Eddie Guerrero swinging a chair like The Rock was a PiŮata....."

.....Rocky says that he's going to cross paths with Vader again some day soon, and when he does the only thing the fat man will have "Forgotten" will be his own name, because The Rock is going to slap him so hard he'll be wearing his little leather muzzle backwards.....

.....and as for Eddie Guerrero, The Rock says that he wants to make something very clear.....he says that Eddie has lied, cheated, stole and cheap shotted his way to the United States Championship, and yes, for one reason or another he's held on to that championship for five months now.....yes, he's retained that title against each and every man that's stepped up to it.....

".....but Eddie Guerrero, The Rock isn't like each and every other man, because The Rock is THE most electrifying man in all of sports entertainment.....you might think you're the Papi of Perfection, but there's only ONE perfect thing in WCW, and that's the fact that The Rock's boot is about to fit perfectly up your candy ass at Starrcade "esŤ"....."

.....Rocky says that Guerrero is one hell of a wrestler.....he's good, very good.....but good doesn't top great, and in two weeks time that's exactly what he will be facing.....he will be going one on one with the great one, and just like Eddie's sex life, that impressive five month reign is going to come to a premature end.....

So it's main event time.....and our tag team match (that had no chance of ever occurring as advertised after Roddy Piper was destroyed last week on Nitro) that for the first time since their formation, sees a member of the Titans of Wrestling (Buff Bagwell) team with a member of WCW (The Giant) to compete in what is basically a handicap match against a man that's been a member of both at one time or another (Jean Paul Levesque).....

.....JPL has become somewhat of a liability as of late....not to himself....more to the people around him, as he's spent the last few weeks being forced to watch as first Shawn Michaels, then Rowdy Roddy Piper were destroyed before his eyes....perhaps because of this it comes as little surprise that nobody seems to be forthcoming to step up as a replacement partner tonight.....

.....so because of that we do indeed have a handicap match here (although you could argue that facing The Giant alone would still be a handicap match given his size) and while Levesque fares well in the opening minutes against Bagwell, it's not long before the man advantage becomes evident, and Levesque finds himself in a LOT of trouble.....especially when he's in there with Giant.....

.....somehow Levesque manages to dig deep, and he does miraculously get back into this one, even catching Bagwell with a Pedigree that could well have won him that match.....

.....had this been a one on one affair.....

.....it wasn't.....

.....and before Levesque could make the cover, Giant enters the ring, spins him around.....and plants him to the mat with a massive Chokeslam, before tossing a practically unconscious Bagwell on top of JPL for the one, the two.....and the three.....

Winner(s): Buff Bagwell & The GiantRating: B+

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.....and no sooner has the bell rang, than the Holy Trinity of Professional Wrestling make their way out, and Hollywood Hogan, Randy Savage and The Warrior (well not so much the Warrior....he rarely displays emotion any more) look very pleased with the outcome of this match.....

.....the three men enter the ring, where Savage helps Bagwell (who has no idea he just pinned Levesque) back to his feet, congratulating him on a job well done, while Warrior stands emotionless over the downed JPL.....Hogan on the other hand has made his way over to The Giant, and can be heard telling the big man that he definitely passed the initiation....if he wants to join the premier group in all of professional wrestling then they have a quadruple x sized shirt in the back that's been custom made just for him.....

.....Giant looks at Hogan, then looks down at the WCW Title that's wrapped firmly around his waist, before telling him the same thing that he told Vince Russo when Vinnie Ru offered him a spot in the Titans, and that's the fact that the only thing the Titans have that he wants is the WCW Title....as for this tonight, this wasn't an initiation....The Giant just likes hurting people....maybe Hogan should remember that.....

.....Hogan looks decisively uneasy at that comment, but as The Giant turns to leave he's not going to let a little thing like this ruin his night....especially since Sting is out of the picture for the time being.....

.....with Bagwell now somewhat revived, the Titan foursome turn their attention to Levesque, who's slowly pulled himself to his feet.....the four men surround him on all sides, but to his credit JPL doesn't look as though he's about to back down for a second, in fact, he even offers a brief smile.....before punching Bagwell square in the face.....

.....I don't think the Titans were expecting that, because Levesque follows up with an immediate back elbow to the jaw of the Warrior and a right hand to Hogan.....Savage pounces but he gets cut off with a kick to the midsection, followed by a series of punches from the p!ssed off JPL.....this is a losing battle though.....one against four are some serious odds to begin with, let alone one against Hollywood Hogan, The Warrior and Randy Savage (and Bagwell too....I guess) and despite his initial flurry, Levesque soon finds himself overwhelmed, overpowered and down on the mat, where the Titans deliver a brutal gang style beat down.....

.....it could have gotten a whole lot worse, but Savage calls a halt to the onslaught, telling the Warrior to drag the limp Levesque back to his feet.....he grabs the man roughly by the face, lifting his head up so that JPL can see the crazy in his eyes, telling him that they're leaving just enough of him left.....

".....see we could finish this right now, yeah....finish this, finish you, for good, but we're not going to do that, uh-uh, nope.....we're going to leave just enough left....just enough for you to get to Starrcade, yeah.....and then, when it's just The Macho Man, and The Warrior Man, we're gonna take...you...out.....per-man-ent-ly, yeah....."

.....Savage says that Levesque promised that Macho and Warrior had signed their own death warrants in the blood of Shawn Michaels.....well next week, Savage is going to have the contract for their Starrcade match right in his hand, ready to be signed and made official.....and maybe, just maybe, they'll sign that contract.....in JPL's blood.....dig it?.....

We are just six days away from WWF In Your House: Dead Man Walking, and we are opening the show up tonight with the man who will be challenging for the WWF Championship at that very event, the Corporate Cannon, Brian Pillman.....

.....as is usually the case in recent months however, Pillman is not alone.....and as if having Ric Flair and Arn Anderson by your side wasn't impressive enough, he is also joined by the owner of the World Wrestling Federation (Mr. Vincent Kennedy McMahon) and the (seemingly reluctant as of late) Big Red Monster Kane.....

.....the quintet enter the ring, where Vince McMahon welcomes us to the show, before stating that in just six short days, the World Wrestling Federation is FINALLY going to have a champion that Corporate approves of.....the World Wrestling Federation is FINALLY going to have a champion it can be proud of.....because in just six short days, Brian Pillman WILL bring an end to the short reign of the Deadman, before handing the microphone over to that " Corporate Champion" in waiting.....

.....Brian Pillman has developed into one of the best talkers in the WWF (and the business as a whole) in the last few months, and he's at his unstable best here as he (with eyes wide) declares that while the King may well be Undead, it will be the Crowned Prince of Chaos that usurps the crown, and finally ascends to his throne at In Your House.....

".....because never has there been a more aptly titled event....than Dead Man Walking.....see Undertaker, your title reign is already dead and buried, you just haven't realised it yet.....but you will.....because believe me, Brian Pillman has NO problem with tearing that Championship belt from your cold, dead hands.....IN FACT.....I'll do it with a smile on my face, and a song in my heart.....and I'll do it, whether your little, bitty baby brother likes it or not....."

.....Pillman spins on his heels to do what most (sane) men would be terrified to do.....he runs down Kane right to his face.....he tells the Big Red Monster that last week, he made the cardinal error of placing his hands on the man who would be king, citing that this was an act of treason against the crown.....fortunately, the Corporate Cannon will be a compassionate ruler, so (for tonight at least) Kane gets to keep his head.....but he lets it be known that further rebellion attempts will NOT be tolerated.....

.....Vince echo's this statement, telling Kane that he almost crossed a line last week, that he would NEVER have recovered from.....he tells Kane that he's perhaps been too soft on him.....to sympathetic to the pathetic life that Kane has lived.....to the losses that he imposed upon himself with the ignition of a single match.....well no more.....and Kane has ONE chance to make amends for his "serious lapse in judgement" last week.....and that chance comes TONIGHT.....

.....Vince says that because tonight, the Undertaker WILL be competing in this very ring.....and he will be competing against The Corporate Enforcer....the hired gun if you will.....Arn Anderson.....

".....and Kane.....you WILL be accompanying Mr. Anderson to the ring.....and by the end of this evening you WILL decide exactly which side of the fence your black heart lies.....be that WITH us.....or AGAINST us....."

.....Arn quickly cuts the usual (underrated) Double A promo.....telling the Deadman that his day of judgement is coming, and it's coming to him tonight.....he says that he could put an end to the WWF Champion tonight, but he's not going to do that, instead he's going to leave just enough of that walking corpse in tact, so that Brian Pillman can finish the job on Sunday Night.....

.....he then turns to Kane, telling him that it's time to took his position as Corporate Problem solver a little more seriously.....Anderson says that he knows a thing or two about that, after spending a good portion of his career as The Enforcer of the most dominant group in professional wrestling history.....he tells Kane that seeing him squander the role and the responsibility feels like a personal insult to this old enforcer, and it's time that he got his head in the game, before he loses it.....permanently.....

.....Flair lets out a big "Woooooooo" as he takes the microphone from an intense looking Arn Anderson, and he's in a much better mood than his long time friend.....in fact he's in the mood to celebrate.....he tells Brian Pillman that the Champagne is on ice, the girls are lining up, and the Nature Boy is ready to party.....("Wooooooooo").....he tells Brian that he's come a long way from that smiling pretty boy punk that Flair met all those years ago....from a baby kissing pretty boy to a kiss stealing man, and on Sunday night he will become THE man when he becomes the World Wrestling Federation Champion.....

.....he also addresses Kane, telling him that it's time that he paid attention to the important things in life.....the GOOD things in life.....he flashes his $10,000 Rolex, his $8,000 custom suit....$2,000 belt.....$4,000 shoes.....the best of everything that money can buy is right there at his fingertips.....he tells Kane to forget about whatever it is that the Undertaker is trying to sell and pay attention to what Vince McMahon offers.....after all, dollar green is a much better colour than blood red.....

.....what decision is the Big Red Monster going to make? I guess we will find out.....tonight.....

Rating: A*

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Last week the British Bulldog faced (and defeated) the Million Dollar Corporations Rich Steiner, and made his intentions towards re-capturing the WWF European Championship (currently held by the Million Dollar Corporations Jeff Jarrett) clear after the match.....it was a declaration that almost cost him dearly, because Ted DiBiase and his men have developed somewhat of a mean streak as of late, and had it not been for the timely intervention of Ken Shamrock, Davey Boy Smith could well have met the same fate that befell Psycho Sid a few weeks ago, who was driven THROUGH a wooden table, and OUT of the World Wrestling Federation.....

.....Ken Shamrock also has aspirations of becoming the European Champion, and he will get that opportunity in just six days at In Your House.....before that however, there's just the little matter of the Million Dollar Corporations Southern Justice to contend with, as Shammy and Davey face Mark Canterbury and Dennis Knight.....

.....this match was a decent enough opener, with plenty of back and forth action....Shamrock and Davey Boy may both have one eye on the European prize but they work well as a unit tonight, and after the Bulldog sends Canterbury to the outside, Shamrock traps Knight in the Ankle Lock, and that's all she wrote for the former pig farmer, who taps almost instantly.

Winner(s): Ken Shamrock & The British BulldogRating: B

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Shamrock and the Bulldog celebrate their victory, before meeting in the middle of the ring....Davey Boy wishes Shamrock luck in his match against Jarrett on Sunday, but isn't shy in telling him that whether he wins or loses, the British Bulldog is coming for that title next.....

.....Shamrock isn't shy about accepting the challenge either, telling Davey Boy any time, any place, he's welcome to a shot at the Championship, before the two men shake hands.....

.....problem with that is Ken Shamrock isn't the European Champion.....Jeff Jarrett is.....

.....and as the new found friends congratulate each other in the ring, Southern Justice take the opportunity to jump the pair from behind, just as the actual WWF European Champion Jeff Jarrett makes his way out from the back (along with Rich Steiner) as Ted DiBiase barks his Million Dollar Orders.....

.....Shamrock and Bulldog were taken completely by surprise at Knight and Canterbury's attack, and while they perhaps could have fought back in a straight two on two fight, Jarrett and Steiner make it four, and those odds are simply too great.....

.....Shammy and Davey (Shavey? Yikes!) soon find themselves flat out on the mat as the Million Dollar Corporation once again display their vicious streak, and as Steiner and Southern Justice continue their onslaught to the Bulldog, Ted DiBiase hands Double J that Acoustic Equaliser of his.....Jarrett takes a few practice swings, waiting for Shamrock to get into position Double J swings and connects.....

.....right to Shamrock's leg.....

.....that's a change, usually Jarrett goes right for the dome, but as he slaps the Figure Four onto the clearly hurt Ken Shamrock seconds later, it's clear that someone is sending a message....and that message it that the Ankle Lock isn't the only submission move in town around here.....

.....Shamrock is crying out in agony as Double J applies the pressure to the leg that just got obliterated with the guitar, and the only thing that finally releases the hold is the swarm of officials that come rushing out from the back.....

.....damage done the Million Dollar Corporation make their exit, leaving Davey Boy down and out and Ken Shamrock clutching his leg, as the announcers question whether or not Mr. Shamrock will even be in any condition to compete in just six days time.

Rating: B+

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We have a brief commercial break and then when we come back it's time to grab your prayer books, because Raven is taking us to church.....

.....still in the unknown House of God, Raven walks the outside grounds, before finally ending up back at the entrance of the building....and this being Raven (who since his arrival in the WWF has developed into one of the best promo's in the company/business) he's talking the whole way through.....

.....he tells Jake Roberts that he had his chance to end this last week....this test....this trial....this Divine Comedy.....all he had to do was prove himself the heretic that his is, renounce his god as a false idol, and all of this could have been over.....but no.....instead Jake chose to continue down this path of despair, shielded by the misinformation that his "God" would somehow approve of his one man quest for vengeance.....believing that his "God" would applaud in appreciation of the pain and the torment and the violence that the Snake is planning to orchestrate.....

".....and therein lies the word.....violence.....because that is the circle you find yourself at the door of now Snake.....the seventh circle of my own personal hell.....

.....Jake, you can tell yourself that this Holy quest of yours is a tale of vengeance and retribution.....an eye for an eye, blessed by your lord who's chosen YOU as his Angel of Death....a little bit self important don't you think?.....see you can wrap it up in whatever you want but the fact remains that when you peel back the layers one by one the gift you wish to deliver is the gift of violence.....

.....now the seventh circle of hell is reserved for those that were violent in life.....be that violence against others.....violence against themselves.....or violence against their god.....and Jake, heh, you're three for three....."

.....Raven says that The Snake has inflicted physical and emotional violence on all who have crossed his path for his entire life.....he says that his addictive and destructive personality has resulted in him inflicting violence upon himself, abusing and wrecking his body with a cacophony of chemical vices.......and his "God".....by waging this war on Raven in the name of his priest and his so called saviour, he is striking a blow right to the heart of his religion.....but it's not his fault.....after all, a violent person knows no other means.....

.....if it's violence that Jake wants however, then it is violence he shall have.....and he'll have it tonight, with his next opponent.....a man who perhaps epitomises violence like no other.....and a man who's violent tendencies have cause HIMSELF just as much pain as it has his opponents.....

".....Terry Funk is a name that SHOULD be heralded as one of the greatest to ever compete within the confines of that ring.....a former World Champion and member of the famed Funk family, Terry Funk's name will go down in infamy, NOT for his accomplishments.....but for the manner with which he conducted himself....."

.....Raven says that Terry Funk should be living a comfortable life, retired to his ranch and reaping the rewards of a successful career, but even now, at 53 years of age, Terry Funk's lust for violence won't allow him to rest.....

.....he says that after three decades of maiming, injuring, and generally throwing caution to the wind in an effort to inflict pain and suffering on others, the man is half crippled.....and yet he is still willing to roll around in a drowning pool of his own blood, bathed in fire and adorned by a barbed wire halo, just to deliver a little bit more violence to others, unconcerned as to the violence he is delivering to himself.....

".....Jake, take a look at Terry Funk.....take a look and ask yourself.....when you look into the mirror in the morning, who is looking back at you? The face of God? Or the beaten and bloodied face of Terry Funk?......choose your fate.....choose your face.....choose your destiny.....choose your destruction........choose me, for I can set you free......Quote the Raven......Nevermore....."

Rating: A*

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Nine Circles of Hell Match: Violence

So it is Terry Funk that is waiting to test Jake this evening, on loan from ECW on a one night deal.....the announcers throw some publicity Paul E's way, talking about Funk being a former ECW World Champion (being sure to mention that the E in ECW stands for "Extreme") and saying that because of that....and because this match has been deemed a "Violence" match by Raven, there are NO rules in this one.....

.....incidentally, have Jake Roberts and Terry Funk ever crossed paths before? You would think so, but while I can find information relating to Jake Roberts and Dory Funk, this may well be a first time meeting for these two veterans of the sport.....

.....seeing as both men are (way) past their prime, and given the fact that this was basically a Hardcore contest, the match obviously wasn't as good as it perhaps could have been ten-fifteen years earlier.....it was still decent though, and the crowd reaction for it was great as the two men brawled in and around the ring.....Funk certainly took Jake to his limit as he battered him with steel chairs and all manner of unusual things that were discovered under the ring.....

.....if this truly was Raven's idea of a Violence Match, then he got what he was looking for, because Jake had to sink to new lows to pick up the victory here, finally removing the safety mats on the outside and uncovering the hard concrete beneath.....he dragged Funk over to the unprotected surface, and DDT'd him straight onto the unforgiving floor, before rolling him back into the ring and picking up a (very) hard fought victory that leaves him spent on the mat.

Winner: Jake RobertsRating: B

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As we leave Jake utterly exhausted in the ring we head to the back where Dok Hendrix is standing by with The Wolfpac....

.....Dok says that in six days time, Scott Hall will be putting the WWF Intercontinental Championship on the line against Chris Jericho, while Kevin Nash will be teaming with Scott Steiner to challenge Harlem Heat for the WWF Tag Team Titles.....although with The Headbangers facing Harlem Heat next for those very titles, Nash and Steiner may find that they have some very different opponents at In Your House.....

.....Hall says that it doesn't matter who "the big man(g)" faces at In Your House...Harlem Heat or the guys in the skirts, the result will be the same, just like when The Bad Guy slaps that little loud mouth punk Chris Jericho around and walks out of Dead Man Walking with the gold still around his waist.....and just for fun, he's also going to take out that Hart Foundation C-Lister Test tonight.....

.....Dok turns to Nash and asks him if he's as confident in bringing home the Tag Titles Sunday as Hall is, but honestly, Nash isn't so sure.....

.....Nash says that one things for sure, partner or no partner, having that gold around his waist means having more green in the bank, so WHOEVER has those titles at In Your House, they're going to have a big seven foot problem to contend with....and while Steiner might not care who they face, Big Sexy, he's going to go down to ringside right now and find out first hand.....

".....so Jim Ross, wipe the barbecue sauce off one of those headset's, because Big Sexy is coming to town....."

Rating: A

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.....and that's exactly what he does.....because leaving Hall and Waltman in the back to prepare for the Bad Guy's upcoming match with Test, Big Sexy Kevin Nash makes his way out before this one gets underway, and takes up position at the announce table.....

.....never let it be said that the Harlem Heat aren't fighting Champions, agreeing to put the gold on the line tonight just six days before they are scheduled to defend them again at In Your House.....right now, Harlem Heat are the champions, but if the Headbangers DO manage to capture the titles tonight, then (as Jim Ross informs us on commentary) it will be Mosh and Thrasher that will be facing the team of Kevin Nash and Scott Steiner this Sunday night, NOT Harlem Heat.....

.....of course that turns into somewhat of a non-issue.....the Headbangers put on a good showing (and this was a decent match too) but in the end it was Harlem Heat's experience edge that gained them the victory, after Mosh failed to spot a blind tag on Stevie from Booker, before Booker T picked up the victory with a Missile Dropkick from the top.....maybe next time Headbangers.

Booker and Stevie (well, mainly Booker) help The Headbangers back to their feet, thanking them for the competition and telling them that they will get another shot somewhere down the line, before heading to the back (passing Kevin Nash on commentary as they go).....

.....Booker just nods at their next opponent, but Stevie can't resist asking Big Sexy where his partner is.....Nash tells Stevie not to worry about where his partner is, he should be more worried about Big Sexy shoving his big boot straight up his ass.....

.....fortunately before things can escalate, Booker takes his brother to the back, and we go to a promo for In Your House.....

.....it's only a short one though.....so short in fact, that while Harlem Heat and Kevin Nash have made their way to the back, The Headbangers have yet to do so (having spent the duration of the promo Moshing and Thrashing with this live crowd) and are only now just making their way back up the aisle.....

.....at least that was the plan.....but as Goldust and Marcus (with Marlena not far behind) suddenly rush onto the entrance way, ambushing the two youngsters, it looks like the new plan is for the Headbangers to get their heads banged off the steel stage by the Bizarre One(s).....

.....neither Goldust nor Marcus are happy with a simple beatdown however, and Goldie decides to punctuate the assault by dropping Mosh down on the back of his skull with a Curtain Call to the unforgiving steel.....

.....during the assault the (rather unconventionally clad) Marlena has made her way down to ringside, picked up a microphone, and sauntered all the way back up the aisle, handing it to Goldust.....if that is indeed what we are supposed to be calling him, because much like Marlena, all the gold and glitz is nowhere to be seen.....

.....he begins by telling the Headbangers that they warned them.....they told them that while everyone loves to be entertained by the freaks and the geeks, they will never achieve their ultimate goals by pandering to Vince McMahon's whimsical gimmicks like performing monkeys.....he tells them to cast off their chains.....cast off the oppression.....free themselves from this skirt wearing, face painted facade that Vince McMahon has bestowed upon them for his own amusement, and show the world who they REALLY are.....

".....just like we have.....

.....for two years I have come out here and been the butt of Vince McMahon's personal joke.....for two years I have come out here and been subjected to some of the worst abuse at the hands of the small-minded bottom feeders in the crowd.....I pushed the buttons that I was supposed to push, and instead of getting the opportunities I was promised, I got nothing.....do this, get a title opportunity.....push it a bit further, maybe we'll give you a shot at the big one.....problem was, I did my job so well, that suddenly 'Goldust' wasn't really the right fit for the WWF Title......'Goldust' is a bit too.....much...to be the WWF Intercontinental Champion......'Goldust' and 'Marcus'? Not really what we are looking for in Tag Team Champions right now.....so just keep going out there and degrading yourself for the boss, at least HE'S having a good time.....

.....let me make something perfectly clear, because my eyes are open wide, and I'm seeing clearly for the first time in two years.....you can forget the name Goldust.....you can forget the name Marcus.....hell, you can forget the name Marlena too, because her name is Terri.....and she's my wife.....

.....my name.....is Dustin Rhodes.....yeah Rhodes, I'll say it....and there ain't no polka dots on me......this, this is Marc Mero, former Golden Gloves winner and holder of multiple wrestling titles.....until he came here......"

.....Goldust (or rather, Dustin I suppose) says that they are done with being the playthings of a billionaire.....they've been picked up...played with...broken....and then tossed back into the toy box to collect dust like all the other toys Vince McMahon got bored with.....well no more.....it's time they got serious.....and if you don't think that they can DO serious, then maybe you should ask the Headbangers......

".....when they finally wake up....."

Rating: A

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This match had the potential to break down into utter chaos, not only because Test was looking to take this opportunity (just six days before In Your House) to weaken the Intercontinental Champion ahead of his title defence against Chris Jericho, but because the Ayatollah of RocknRolla was right there at ringside too.....

.....clearly Mr. Jericho was looking to take advantage of the fact too, the problem with that however was that he interjected himself into this match one too many times and the official ended up ordering Jericho to the back.....

.....Jericho isn't happy about it either, and he throws a monumental hissy fit on his way to the back.....

.....to his credit, Test is a big enough and bad enough that he shouldn't need any help to pick up his own victories.....he's a big guy, he's a bad guy.....but he's not THE Bad Guy.....that would be Scott Hall, and Scott Hall was able to pick up the victory here.....not with the Razor's Edge, but with a simple roll up after he side stepped a running Big Boot for the one, the two....and the three.

Winner: Scott HallRating: B

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From there we go to a shot of the back, where Dok Hendrix and the remaining Hart Foundation members are gathered around a monitor, and to say they are furious would be an understatement.....in fact, Chris Jericho goes so far as to brand it a damn conspiracy by a biased American official against a pair of proud and patriotic Canadian's.....he says that he was merely out there in moral support for a Canadian brother in a hostile environment.....Jericho says that what he SHOULD do, is take this all the way to Washington, but since that's full of Americans too, it's probably even more corrupt than the WWF.....

.....Jericho says that the only way to right this wrong is to do what he does best.....and that's go to In Your House.....fight for truth, justice....and the Canadian way.....and bring that Intercontinental Championship home to the Hart Foundation.....

.....Bret Hart smiles that that, saying that truth, justice and the Canadian way is what he and his brother have been fighting for all their lives, and as for conspiracies, Bret and Owen have been the victims of conspiracy for two years now, that's the only explanation there can be for how they can be repeatedly screwed over with no atonement.....

.....the Hitman pauses for a moment to slap Jericho on the back, before putting an arm around brother Owen.....he says that these two men here (and Test as well) are the ONLY people in the World Wrestling Federation that he can trust.....that he WOULD trust.....three men that he would trust with his life, so what could be more fitting that to go to In Your House, beat Stone Cold Steve Austin, and become the number one contender to the WWF Title on the same night that Chris Jericho captures the Intercontinental Title.....

".....because Steve Austin knows that I can beat him.....I can beat him in a wrestling match, I can beat him in a fist fight, and I can beat him in a brawl.....Austin, I've beaten you before, I'll beat you again Sunday, but first, you've got to face my baby brother Owen....."

.....Bret says that Owen Hart might be the baby of the Hart Family, but he's more man that Steve Austin will ever be, and he's going to prove that.....right now.....

".....and then Undertaker.....Pillman.....it doesn't really matter who.....because when Bret Hart defeats Steve Austin on Sunday, The Hitman will be coming for you, and you WILL....be Excellently Executed...."

Rating: A

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VS.

So that match is right now.....and by god what a match it was.....

.....honestly, I was counting on this match to carry the show, because I wasn't sure how well our main event was going to go down due to The Enforcers declining abilities (it actually went down just fine, but more on that later) but I didn't for a second expect it to be a true match of the year candidate......

.....this was easily one of the top five matches of the year between an absolutely on fire Steve Austin and the consummate (and Łber reliable) professional Owen Hart.....Owen is as capable a mat technician as his brother, and Stone Cold CAN wrestle, he can do it very well in fact....he just doesn't have to very often....usually he can brawl himself to victory against the best of them, but tonight he has his working boots on, no doubt looking to show Bret Hart that In Your House might not be the walk in the park that he's expecting....even going so far as locking Owen in the Sharpshooter at one point for a brief period of time.....

.....you'd think that the Sharpshooter spot would be an ideal time to have the rest of the Hart Foundation run in and give Austin the DQ victory.....remarkably however, there wasn't a sniff of outside interference, and while Owen came close (very close) to picking up the victory, it was Austin that came out on top in the end, catching Owen with a Stunner out of nowhere for the one, two (and five star rated) three.....

Winner: Steve AustinRating: A* (100)

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.....at which point, the rest of the Hart Foundation DO come running out....but it's too little, too late.....Austin is the winner, and by the time Bret, Jericho and Test hit the ring, Stone Cold is long gone, bailing into the crowd with a microphone in hand, where he celebrates in the sea of fans....not WITH the sea of fans, because Stone Cold Steve Austin doesn't pander to nobody....but he's celebrating, and the crowd loves it.....

.....Bret stares up at him as Jericho and Test help Owen back to his feet, and with both Hart Foundation members losing their respective matches tonight, Jericho and The Hitman are going to be hoping for a better result on Sunday.....Steve Austin on the other hand is quick to let Bret know that.....

".....that ain't happening son.....

.....see Steve Austin he's going to be the next World Wrestling Federation Champion, and if I have to whip your ass one more time to get my shot, then all the better....."

.....Austin says that Bret Hart doesn't like him, and he sure as hell doesn't like Bret Hart, and he can't think of a better man to beat to become the number one contender than that whiny little sumbitch Bret Hart.....

".....you talk about being screwed by this one, screwed by that one....what you SHOULD be doing is getting your excuses ready, because Stone Cold Steve Austin ain't gonna screw ya son, he's gonna look you right in your beady little eyes and whip your ass like the pink and black sack of crap that you are....."

.....Austin says that come hell or high water, he's getting what he wants....

".....because whether you like it, or whether you don't like it, Stone Cold Steve Austin WILL be the World Wrestling Federation Champion, and ain't no Bret Hart, Brian Pillman, Undertaker, or anyone else is gonna stop him.....and that's the bottom line.....because Stone Cold said so....."

Rating: A

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From there we head to the back, for a quick segment ahead of our main event, and Michael Cole is standing by with the current World Wrestling Federation Champion, The Undertaker.....

.....Cole asks the Deadman where he thinks his brother is going to be standing tonight.....on the side of Vince McMahon?....Brian Pillman?.....or will blood truly be thicker than water, as he reunites with his big brother, The Undertaker?.....

.....when I said it was a quick segment I meant it.....the Undertaker has a match next, and he's not here tonight to talk.....

.....he quickly tells Cole that he doesn't know.....he doesn't know Kane anymore, he hasn't known him for a long time and his time in purgatory may well have changed him permanently.....

".....but I've said it before, and I don't like to repeat myself.....whatever Kane chooses.....whatever side of the fence he takes.....I WILL NOT raise my hand to my brother again....."

.....The Undertaker says that while he truly hopes that he can reunite with Kane, that is out of his control......and he's not going to let that distract him from the one thing that he CAN control.....the fate of Brian Pillman at In Your House.....

.....he says that never before has an event been more aptly titled, because this Corporate Cannon truly is a Dead Man Walking.....he says that Pillman has ridiculed and belittled the death of The Undertakers parents.....he has laughed in the face of the Deadman's tragedy.....but he WILL NOT be laughing on Sunday night.....

".....Brian Pillman, your dreams of becoming the World Wrestling Federation Champion are about to be dead and buried at the hands of the reaper.....and you will NOT.....Rest....in.....Peace....."

Rating: B+

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VS.

I mentioned previously that I had my doubts about this one.....don't get me wrong, Arn Anderson is one of the greatest in ring performers of all time, and a man that was capable of carrying a plank of wood to a great match.....five years ago.....in 1997 (almost 1998) he's nearly 40 years of age, and not quite the performer that he was.....

.....not that the Undertaker needs someone to carry him to a great match, the Deadman can certainly hold his own in that regard, but I really didn't know how well this one would go down.....

.....as ordered by Mr. Vincent Kennedy McMahon, (a reluctant looking) Kane did indeed accompany Arn Anderson to ringside, and as this match got underway, he and his brother shared more than the odd glance in each other's direction.....The Undertaker lived up to his word though, and not once did he raise so much as a hand towards his brother.....

.....to be fair (and much to the annoyance of Anderson, who presented his "outside support" with plenty of opportunities to assault the Deadman behind the officials back) Kane never once moved to raise HIS hand to his brother either, leaving the commentators to question exactly where the Big Red Machine's loyalties lay.....

.....in the end though, Kane was a complete non entity in this match, standing stoically on the outside and watching on, as The Undertaker catches The Enforcer with a huge chokeslam, for the one.....the two.....and the three.....

Winner: The UndertakerRating: A

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.....not that he got to celebrate for long.....because no sooner had the bell rang, than the Undertaker HAD his bell rang, because The Corporate Cannon Brian Pillman and The Nature Boy Ric Flair come rushing out from the back, and they jump the Deadman from behind.....

.....Vince McMahon makes his way out (much slower) and as he reaches Kane (still standing, watching from the sidelines) he orders the Big Red Monster into the ring.....

.....Kane DOES comply, but he doesn't look particularly eager, standing back and watching as Flair and Pillman continue to assault the WWF Champion.....BUT, he does nothing to stop it either.....and as The Undertaker begins to fight back (much to the approval of this crowd) he doesn't halt THAT attack either.....

.....Arn Anderson does though.....

.....because the arrival of Flair and Pillman gave him enough time to recuperate, and he slides to the outside to collect a steel chair, which he blindsides the Deadman with.....

.....the Undertaker finally goes down under the three on one assault, and Vince McMahon obviously decides that the Deadman has been incapacitated enough that it is safe for him to enter the ring, because he rolls under the bottom rope and gets right in Kane's seven foot high face.....

.....he prods Kane in the chest, telling him to do what he's paid for.....the only thing he's ANY use for.....destroying things.....take the Undertaker out.....

.....Kane doesn't move towards his brother.....in fact he actually shakes his head....he's not going to do that.....so what does McMahon do?.....he rears back.....and slaps the seven foot monster right in his masked face.....

.....Vince turns and tells Flair and Anderson to drag the Deadman back to his feet, before returning his attention to Kane.....who's arm snaps out as one big gloved hand wraps around the throat of the Chairman.....

.....Pillman looks like a rabid attack dog, and he's about to launch himself at the Big Red Monster, but McMahon tells him to stop.....he tells Pillman that Kane isn't going to do anything stupid.....

".....are you Kane?....."

.....the crowd is desperate to see McMahon go for the ride, but slowly Kane releases his grip, and his hand falls limply to his side.....

.....Vince smiles, but that's not good enough.....he tells Kane to do it.....finish it.....prove his loyalty and take his brother OUT.....

.....and with that Kane's arm moves again, as his hand wraps around the throat of The Undertaker.....the two brothers lock eyes, and true to his word, The Deadman doesn't even attempt to release himself from his brothers grasp.....Kane is clearly conflicted, but with McMahon, Anderson, Flair and (most loudly) Pillman scream at him to do it, he reluctantly hoists The Undertaker into the air.....

.....and Chokeslams him straight to hell.....

.....Pillman is hopping up and down like a maniacal Jackrabbit, and McMahon just looks on with a smile on his face as Flair snatches up the WWF Title from the timekeepers table, and hands it to Pillman, who hoists that Winged Eagle high up in the air.....

.....and just six days before In Your House, the show goes off the air with Jim Ross pondering whether or not we have just caught a glimpse of the future.....Brian Pillman, holding up the WWF Championship in celebration, as Kane looks on motionless at his defeated brother......the Dead Man Walking.....