Advice-Take it or leave it

I know it's hard for us as men to deal with some things when our SO is pregnant. If my story helps anyone, I have done something good here. When my wife was pregnant with our first son it was very confusing and hard for me. She had one child already from a previous relationship and I was good with that child but had never experienced pregnancy. When my wife was 11 weeks pregnant we started having more and more fights other than the usual arguments married couples have. I started to shut down and whenever anything was said I would react with a mean tone before thinking. Needless to say, one day I did the worst thing I could have ever done and got up and left her. She cried and tried to call and I just didn't respond. Finally I took some time out and researched on the internet and got on here and spoke with other dads and even a few moms. I saw that what my wife was going through was normal at the time. I felt horrible for leaving her when she needed me most. It didn't take me but a couple of days to go home. She almost didn't take me back. That is how much I had let her down and hurt her. Once I understood and tried to put myself in her shoes, I felt like the scum of the earth for doing that to her. I gladly busted my butt for the rest of that pregnancy, not to just make it up to her but because I wanted to. She had given me the greatest gift in the world and I finally realized that. She gave me my son, Hayden, It's not easy on a pregnant woman and us as men certainly wouldn't do it after seeing what they go through. They are an emotional rollercoaster and most of the time can't help it. My wife is my best friend and I'm supposed to be her support system. She has always tried to make me happy. Forgiven me when I didn't deserve it and she has taught me. She is 4 years older than I am and she was the life I chose. She expected me to grow forward and it makes perfect sense cause why would I expect her to go backwards. Everyone should grow. We made it through that pregnancy and became such a stronger couple and closer as friends. Now we are expecting again and I couldn't be happier, I love her being pregnant. I love her mood swings because it's real. She is an awesome woman and everything I had ever wanted in someone. Some people will think that they just aren't gonna put up with the moods but truth is, I'm much better off than a guy friend of mine. He left his SO during pregnancy. My wife and I tried to help him and tell him that it would pass but he didn't listen. His SO cried for him and did what she could to let him know that she wanted him there. He shot down her every attempt and ignored her. Finally, he did the same thing I did, Talked to other people and dads about it but he had already been gone too long. After a few weeks when he decided to go back home, she couldn't forgive him and refused to take him back. It caused that much pain and it really does hurt a woman. She later in her pregnancy met someone who could deal with it and accepted her and her pregnancy. It haunts and hurts my friend to this day and he said it's the biggest regret he has ever had. It's like nothing has went his way sense the moment he stepped out. Just something for everyone to think about when things seem rough. They could be a lot worse with the decisions we make.

I know it's hard for us as men to deal with some things when our SO is pregnant. If my story helps anyone, I have done something good here. When my wife was pregnant with our first son it was very confusing and hard for me. She had one child already from a previous relationship and I was good with that child but had never experienced pregnancy. When my wife was 11 weeks pregnant we started having more and more fights other than the usual arguments married couples have. I started to shut down and whenever anything was said I would react with a mean tone before thinking. Needless to say, one day I did the worst thing I could have ever done and got up and left her. She cried and tried to call and I just didn't respond. Finally I took some time out and researched on the internet and got on here and spoke with other dads and even a few moms. I saw that what my wife was going through was normal at the time. I felt horrible for leaving her when she needed me most. It didn't take me but a couple of days to go home. She almost didn't take me back. That is how much I had let her down and hurt her. Once I understood and tried to put myself in her shoes, I felt like the scum of the earth for doing that to her. I gladly busted my butt for the rest of that pregnancy, not to just make it up to her but because I wanted to. She had given me the greatest gift in the world and I finally realized that. She gave me my son, Hayden, It's not easy on a pregnant woman and us as men certainly wouldn't do it after seeing what they go through. They are an emotional rollercoaster and most of the time can't help it. My wife is my best friend and I'm supposed to be her support system. She has always tried to make me happy. Forgiven me when I didn't deserve it and she has taught me. She is 4 years older than I am and she was the life I chose. She expected me to grow forward and it makes perfect sense cause why would I expect her to go backwards. Everyone should grow. We made it through that pregnancy and became such a stronger couple and closer as friends. Now we are expecting again and I couldn't be happier, I love her being pregnant. I love her mood swings because it's real. She is an awesome woman and everything I had ever wanted in someone. Some people will think that they just aren't gonna put up with the moods but truth is, I'm much better off than a guy friend of mine. He left his SO during pregnancy. My wife and I tried to help him and tell him that it would pass but he didn't listen. His SO cried for him and did what she could to let him know that she wanted him there. He shot down her every attempt and ignored her. Finally, he did the same thing I did, Talked to other people and dads about it but he had already been gone too long. After a few weeks when he decided to go back home, she couldn't forgive him and refused to take him back. It caused that much pain and it really does hurt a woman. She later in her pregnancy met someone who could deal with it and accepted her and her pregnancy. It haunts and hurts my friend to this day and he said it's the biggest regret he has ever had. It's like nothing has went his way sense the moment he stepped out. Just something for everyone to think about when things seem rough. They could be a lot worse with the decisions we make.

Guys can frequently be self-centered morons. Any guy that doesn't start reading up on what to expect (natch) from his woman's pregnancy is a guy that doesn't "get it" yet. In my experience, he's usually in his late teens or 20s...when he doesn't "get" much of anything, yet. Certainly not fatherhood or being a good husband. I didn't get it until I was in my thirties and had been married and divorced. :)

My wife's ex left her when she was four months pregnant with her son and never looked back...she hasn't seen or heard from him since. They had been together for 10 years. There were plenty of signs she should have dumped him before that, but it's hard to do that when you're involved with someone that long. "Breaking up is hard to do." In the end, we're both happy that he cut ties and left without a trace. He's not on the birth certificate, has had nothing to do with her son and as a result, I was able to step in when he was three and become his Daddy. He's now five and has never known anything else.

These guys who abandon their pregnant women...they should be reported to the government and castrated.

Guys can frequently be self-centered morons. Any guy that doesn't start reading up on what to expect (natch) from his woman's pregnancy is a guy that doesn't "get it" yet. In my experience, he's usually in his late teens or 20s...when he doesn't "get" much of anything, yet. Certainly not fatherhood or being a good husband. I didn't get it until I was in my thirties and had been married and divorced. :)

My wife's ex left her when she was four months pregnant with her son and never looked back...she hasn't seen or heard from him since. They had been together for 10 years. There were plenty of signs she should have dumped him before that, but it's hard to do that when you're involved with someone that long. "Breaking up is hard to do." In the end, we're both happy that he cut ties and left without a trace. He's not on the birth certificate, has had nothing to do with her son and as a result, I was able to step in when he was three and become his Daddy. He's now five and has never known anything else.

These guys who abandon their pregnant women...they should be reported to the government and castrated.

I'm at home alone right now at 23 weeks pregnant and all I can do is cry. I gave mine 2 weeks to come back after 2 weeks of being broken up. He started seeing another girl but left her to come back home. I then find out that he talked to her 3 days ago telling her that he loves her and misses her but he loves me and our family. He left again leaving me and my 8 year old crying at home. My unborn daughter is being restless...I'm glad that there are guys out there that are there for their families.

I'm at home alone right now at 23 weeks pregnant and all I can do is cry. I gave mine 2 weeks to come back after 2 weeks of being broken up. He started seeing another girl but left her to come back home. I then find out that he talked to her 3 days ago telling her that he loves her and misses her but he loves me and our family. He left again leaving me and my 8 year old crying at home. My unborn daughter is being restless...I'm glad that there are guys out there that are there for their families.

I am sorry to hear that and yes I have been there too. I'm hearing this and that from everywhere at the moment. I have been angry off and on for the past two weeks. I hit rock bottom last night after speaking to him. I was so angry that I don't even know what I said and once I was done I wish I had just not spoken to him at all. I fell to my knees and prayed last night for the first time in a VERY long time. I gave it all to God and decided I don't want that anger in me anymore and the sooner I start living right that my life will change for the better. I even prayed for my husband. At first I prayed for him to come home but all I can really pray for is for him to do right by me and our baby. Sometimes when you feel like you have nothing left, you really do. No matter if nobody else is there for you, HE will be. I can't make you pray or anything and maybe you already do, but just in one night, it made a huge difference in my outlook and attitude. I have spoke to friends who go to church and told them I would see them on Sunday. Had it not been for my prayers last night, I don't think my doc appt would have went as well as it did today. I went from having a huge SCH that wouldn't heal just this past weekend to a U/S today that showed it was completely resolved and gone. I had been on bed rest and pelvic rest for 3 weeks now and I am fully released. I hope this all works out for you and if it doesn't then it just means that something else better is in store for you.

I am sorry to hear that and yes I have been there too. I'm hearing this and that from everywhere at the moment. I have been angry off and on for the past two weeks. I hit rock bottom last night after speaking to him. I was so angry that I don't even know what I said and once I was done I wish I had just not spoken to him at all. I fell to my knees and prayed last night for the first time in a VERY long time. I gave it all to God and decided I don't want that anger in me anymore and the sooner I start living right that my life will change for the better. I even prayed for my husband. At first I prayed for him to come home but all I can really pray for is for him to do right by me and our baby. Sometimes when you feel like you have nothing left, you really do. No matter if nobody else is there for you, HE will be. I can't make you pray or anything and maybe you already do, but just in one night, it made a huge difference in my outlook and attitude. I have spoke to friends who go to church and told them I would see them on Sunday. Had it not been for my prayers last night, I don't think my doc appt would have went as well as it did today. I went from having a huge SCH that wouldn't heal just this past weekend to a U/S today that showed it was completely resolved and gone. I had been on bed rest and pelvic rest for 3 weeks now and I am fully released. I hope this all works out for you and if it doesn't then it just means that something else better is in store for you.

I feel so lucky to have one of the few men who really takes an interest in my pregnancy. My husband has done some online reading and listens to me yammer on about my silly and icky symptoms every day. Thank You for sharing for your story. Thank You to all the dads who take the time to decipher their pregnant wives. Thank You to all the moms out there who are strong for their families when their men have failed them.

I feel so lucky to have one of the few men who really takes an interest in my pregnancy. My husband has done some online reading and listens to me yammer on about my silly and icky symptoms every day. Thank You for sharing for your story. Thank You to all the dads who take the time to decipher their pregnant wives. Thank You to all the moms out there who are strong for their families when their men have failed them.

This story brought tears to my eyes. Thank you so much for telling it. Some of this story hits very close to home. My husband hasn't left me physically but emotionally and mentally he's not there. Sometimes I feel like he thinks this is just easy on me. But it's the hardest thing I've ever done, and I wonder when he'll actually "get it." it's nice to know there are men out there that truly do care and see their wives in a different light when they are preg, and then carry that with them when they aren't. Your a good man :-)

This story brought tears to my eyes. Thank you so much for telling it. Some of this story hits very close to home. My husband hasn't left me physically but emotionally and mentally he's not there. Sometimes I feel like he thinks this is just easy on me. But it's the hardest thing I've ever done, and I wonder when he'll actually "get it." it's nice to know there are men out there that truly do care and see their wives in a different light when they are preg, and then carry that with them when they aren't. Your a good man :-)

rps boy....you sound like a real nice guy....in a thread you say just rape your wife if she doesn't want it....and now these poor ladies just need to talk to someone...and you come here and tell them to go jump....have some compassion backed up boy...

rps boy....you sound like a real nice guy....in a thread you say just rape your wife if she doesn't want it....and now these poor ladies just need to talk to someone...and you come here and tell them to go jump....have some compassion backed up boy...

That is a good question. I didn't notice the date, but I also don't go searching for nearly year old posts to respond to. So it had to have been bumped up before I saw it. Maybe someone commented and deleted their comment.

That is a good question. I didn't notice the date, but I also don't go searching for nearly year old posts to respond to. So it had to have been bumped up before I saw it. Maybe someone commented and deleted their comment.

rps .....does that name stand for revolting penis small syndrome?....yes it does....that's why you're so angry all the time..its ok rps ...im sure your wife's not cheating on you because of your tiny little problem..

rps .....does that name stand for revolting penis small syndrome?....yes it does....that's why you're so angry all the time..its ok rps ...im sure your wife's not cheating on you because of your tiny little problem..

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