The first and most important thing to do is to seek forgiveness from both Allah (swt) and your husband for making such accusations and humiliating him.

Likewise, you may also consider apologizing to the woman also as such accusations might have had an impact on her own reputation, too. This is not easy and may be embarrassing, but keep in mind that you are doing this for the sake of pleasing Allah (swt).

This will make this task a lot lighter for you. Remember that Allah (swt) is The All-Merciful and loves to forgive, so continue to repent to Him and ask Him to forgive you for what you have done.

Once you have Allah (swt) in mind and the desire to please Him, through fear of His punishment, it will be a lot easier to ask the same of your husband and the woman you accused.

“Say, “O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.” (Qur’an, 39:53)

Understand that trust takes some time to buildand even longer to rebuild after it has been broken as in this case. As a result, it is a situation that you will need to bear with patience.

It may take your husband some time to get his trust back again, especially if he is angry at you for what happened. Apologizing to him and doing your best to show your trust in him may help to build the trust a lot quicker.

“Say, “O My servants who have believed, fear your Lord. For those who do good in this world is good, and the earth of Allah is spacious. Indeed, the patient will be given their reward without account.” (Qur’an, 39:10)

Regarding your current request that he doesn’t ride with this woman anymore might make building this trust again difficult; however, it is not unreasonable to request this.

Try to understand things from his perspective as to why he may behave so defensively in this situation.

He may think that you request this because you are still suspicious of his activities with this woman; therefore, it is a topic you need to broach with caution.

Islamically, there are concerns with him riding with another woman as it may be classed as free mixing and could potentially lead to haram things, even if it’s not just the two of them alone in the car.

But, given the current scenario, your request may just be seen as an extension of your past accusations and, therefore, not one that he will want to take seriously.

If you continue to request this of him, ensure to do it in a sensitive manner. Be clearer about why you are asking this of him, so he also understands your motives as to why you don’t want him to ride with her anymore.

Explain to him why you don’t like it so that he is not left thinking that is because you bare accusing him again. Explain to him that you are asking him not to ride with her as a protection to him, for the sake of Allah (swt).

Let him understand your concerns about the dangers of free mixing and its impressibility in Islam and that you request this of him because you love him for the sake of Allah and you want Allah (swt) to be pleased with him.

At the same time, remember that the more you accuse him, the more you will push him away and the more difficult it will make things for him and your relationship.

So, be careful about how you address the issue in a gentle way without being overly pushy. As the trust builds again, with patience, in sha’ Allah, he will be more open to listening to and understanding your request.

May Allah (swt) forgive you and bring peace and happiness back into your marriage and make you the coolness of each other’s eyes once more.

Salam,

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Disclaimer:The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information that was provided in the question.In no event shall AboutIslam, it’s volunteers, writers, scholars, counselors, or employees be held liable for any direct, indirect, exemplary, punitive, consequential or other damages whatsoever that may arise through your decision or action in the use of the services which our website provides.

Hannah Morris is a mum of 4 and she currently works as Counsellor and Instructor of BSc. Psychology at the Islamic Online University (IOU). She obtained her MA degree in Psychology and has over 10 years of experience working in health and social care settings in the UK, USA, and Ireland. Check out her personal Facebook page, ActiveMindCare, that promotes psychological well-being in the Ummah. (www.facebook.com/activemindcare)