The SloWord Interview

Well, it’s new. This blog has moved here to its permanent residence, after nearly ten years of living under a temporary shelter. Vee hopes you are loving ze purple tinge!! To celebrate and implement this change we took SloWord aside and gave him ( them? ) the fifth degree. Yes, the fifth degree is considerably more complex than the third degree. The third degree simply involves lighted matches under the toes. The fifth degree involves much more. Questions that probe in shuddh ( pure, if English speaking ) English, pointed statements and biting words. Why is that more complex? Huh, haven’t you heard that the pen is mightier than the sword especially when the pointed end is gouging out a large piece of the fleshy part of your thigh?

Enough of this. On with the interview. The Q stands for Question and A denotes Answer. To avoid confusion, Q is being asked by SloWord the interviewer and A is SloWord’s response to SloWord-the-Interviewer’s query. OK? Ready? Then on with the show!

Q: Why did you move?
A: I’ve always had this grandiose dream that someday I would have a website all my own, with my name on it, in lovely shades of blue.

Q: But the shades on this website are purple!
A: Blue lives in purple. It’s inherent.

Q: Didn’t you say somewhere that red isn’t your favorite colour? But purple also has red in it…
A: Yes. I may have said something to that effect. But clearly I meant it metaphorically, or ironically. In any case, blue. Besides the purple looks so pretty.

Q: Well, let’s leave that alone for now. What will you give us here? What new rubb…articles are you planning for this new site?
A: I shall give you more of all that you have loved so far. Why change something when it’s not broken?

Q: You don’t like change?
A: Who does?

Q: Isn’t change a good thing?
A: Yes. If we’re talking about underwear, yes. I would say, in that case, change is not just a good thing, it is highly desirable, not to mention essential.

Q: Shall we get off underwear?
A: Uh… shouldn’t we become more than mere strangers first?

Q: I said “get off”, not “take off”!
A: Ah! That explains it. My hearing isn’t what it used to be while my thought process remain the same from when I was about 16.

Q: Well, sir, Mr SloWord sir, may I…
A: Oh yes, you may.

Q: You don’t know what I was going to say!
A: Yes. You’re right. Please do go on.

< Pause, punctuated by deep breathing >

Q: Tell us about this blog, this website. What prompted you to bring this to life?
A: Well, you know by now that I am a critically ignored author and playwright now..

Q: Oh, that’s so cool! What have you published?
A: Yes. See that’s what I mean. You are interviewing me and you didn’t know that.

Q: Tell us about what you have published then.
A: In 2017, I had a couple of online literary magazines pick up two of my short stories, which is the author bit.

Q: And the playwright bit?
A: I self-published a play on Amazon. Available in Kindle format. Supplies last forever.

Q: Will you tell us where to get them?
A: Oh sure, please use the menu above and go the Published Work page. It’s very easy.

Q: Thank you, I’m sure readers of this very purple blog will love to visit and read your wonderful stories.
A: Well, you didn’t seem to be aware of them, and you’re here to interview me, what are the chances that the public, “your readers”, will care to do so?

Q: Uh. Yes, well… uh. Tell us what is the first new thing that will be coming up on this site?
A: This “interview”, obviously. But then I have a super duper, easy peasy recipe coming up soon.

Q: Well, sir, it’s been a pleasure to hear from you and listen to you. I’m sure our readers will be delighted to hear from you after such a long time.
A: Yes, well, they’ve had a good run, but into each life some rain must fall, and you can tell them from me that the rainy season, monsoon, if Indian, is just kicking in.

Q: Goodbye sir and good luck on your future writing efforts. May you be able to retire on the income you will be earning from this revenue stream.
A: Not bloody likely based on trends so far! But thank you for coming. I’m sure you mean well.

And that, ladies, gentlemen and all you others, that’s it for the new, improved Sloword.com, now in it’s own lacquered casing, guaranteed against all defects, except broken links, missing media, for a period of 3 years.