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29 November 2010

Extraordinary lives Part 9 - Shell Kid

Extraordinary Lives part 9: Shell Kid

Welcome back to extraordinary lives. This week we’ll be discussing the future, and the past, of one of our newest residents, Master Randy Wallow or as his mates call him ‘shell kid’. Randy was, until recently, a first class kid. All his friends at his mainstream school really looked up to him for advice, and praised him for his bravery against bullies. Randy, born in 1997, now 13 was on a school trip when he stood up for a ‘nerd’ because his glasses were too thick. The then bully, now young dad, Bootleg Bill swung for the ‘nerd’ who fell back against the rock pools squealing. Randy stepped in to defend the ‘nerd’ and pushed bootleg bill into an anemone. Bootleg Bill rose, now covered in the squalor of the sea, bum rushed Randy into pile of dead bivalves and abandoned shells. As Randy landed he was struck by lightning welding all the shells to his body. Randy ran away screaming. He ran to the teacher who could not believe her eyes and fainted. He then ran to the man in the newsagents who chucked drumsticks at him until he left. After that he ran into a ticket booth where the lady gave him tickets for anything as long as he departed. Lastly he ran into a care worker at the Royal Institute for weirdoes who whisked him up into her arms and brought him into the institute. Once there Randy felt so at home at that moment he questioned whether he had really lived anywhere else or that only hours ago he had been anyone else. His mum came to see him but he did not recognize her and she was so hideously revolted by his irregular body shape and salty smell that she gave in papers for his adoption by the Royal Institute for Weirdoes. Once there Randy was, like all the other weirdoes, subjected to rigorous scientific testing and analysis. The scientists confirmed that with time he could make a full recovery as long as the shells became detached with time. The scientists however did not have any idea of how and when the shells would hopefully fall off. They tried physically removing them with tools and brute strength, but they did not give way. They then tried to dissolve them in strong acid but Randy cried too much because the acid also corroded his skin. They hired top class psychologists to try to persuade the shells to detach themselves but again the shells were stubborn, and also dead so they couldn’t hear the psychologists anyway. Lastly they settled on sanding the shells down to their base so Randy could perform many of the daily tasks he was used to. Randy got on well with the other kids and because his condition was not nearly as severe as many of the others he was the envy of many of the other patients. In a recent interview he told me that he feels he is ready to go back into mainstream school. His parents however feel differently. “We fear for the social safety of Randy because we know how insensitive kids can be. Especially because he will be 2 school years below his age group.” The scientists agree that Randy would be able to cope mentally in a mainstream school but they still think that he needs more physical treatment before he can be ushered into the local comprehensive school. “There are many more treatments that may well have a positive affect on Randy’s life and we need to keep a close eye on him while he undergoes research,” Say the scientists. Randy has said he would be happy to wait a little longer before going back to mainstream school and he said he wouldn’t want to leave his ‘bonkers’ mates just yet. Thanks folks be sure to check out the next issue on the Royal Institute for Weirdoes.