For all our anal retentive planning, this I was not prepared for…
Requests for when service/memorial might be, or flowers, or donations.

So first of all here is the plan discussed with Jake. Jake is being cremated.

His ashes will be divided into three portions.

One will be taken back to the Czech Republic so that it can be placed with his ancestors and be near his parents who live in Prague.

Another will remain in the US. We are currently working on these plans but are hoping for a place in Auburn, NH as that is the town we were married in and the resting place of my grandparents who loved Jake dearly. Originally, we had thought some kind of scattering but our son, Bas, has requested a stone/urn so he has some place to call his Dad’s.

The last will be returned to Bonaire for a scattering in the sea to occur sometime in the fall; we are thinking October. We will let one and all know when we have definite plans so you can join us at the beach.

And a slight variation on Jake’s wishes, we are making up small pocket stones with his name on them to be left at various destinations around the world, so that Jake can continue to travel with us. He started a list with the children during his last hospital stay.

The kids and I will likely remain in the US for the summer and return to Bonaire in the late summer/early fall. We have no definite dates but plan on taking our time and spending some of the tough special days ahead like birthdays, Father’s Day and our anniversary close to the support of family.

Anybody that wants to contact us, our home in the US is:
73 Derry Road
Chester, NH 03036
or of course, you can email me at linda@lindarichter.com

Donations can be made in Jake’s name to any number of places. Here are a few suggestions that quickly come to mind.

Support Bonaire, Inc.www.SupportBonaire.org
Near and dear to our hearts, we started this US charity to fund various non-profit organizations on Bonaire.

Massachusetts General Hospital – Melanoma Centerhttp://www.massgeneral.org/give/howtohelp/#outrightMost of Jake’s care was under the direction of Dr. Keith Flaherty at MGH in the Melanoma Center. I cannot say enough good things about all the people that helped and cared for all of us at MGH, Concord Hospital, and NCI in Bethesda. If I started naming names, I would forget someone and feel badly about it. MGH has many clinical trials and researchers working to find a cure.

It was late at night, just past midnight on June 1st. Something woke me where I rested on the sofa bed in Jake’s room at the hospice. I looked to Jake and tried to focus my hearing on his breathing. I watched him through the dimmed light. At that point, a nurse came in to check on him. She went to him, listened for a minute, and came over to me. She let me know it would be soon.

We both went to Jake. I sat beside him and held his hand. She rested her hand ever so lightly on his chest. One short breathe and a long pause. Another short breathe and no more. We paused waiting for the next one that didn’t come. She got out her stethoscope and waited for his heart to fade away. She whispered he had passed.

She asked if I would like a few minutes alone which I did. I held his hand, caressed his face, kissed his forehead and said my good-byes.

Before I left to be with our children at home, the nurses gently took care of Jake’s body in the dim golden light. They laid a handmade quilt over him and lit a candle. I slipped out into the quiet night for the drive home under the moonlight.

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About

This blog started as a place to explore the pursuit of parallel, varied interests in the vein of a Renaissance person in light of society's demand for specialization, but my diagnosis of cancer - malignant melanoma - in March 2011, has changed all that.

For now, this blog will deal with an exploration of how cancer affects one's life and perspectives, as well as share the voyage through diagnosis and treatment, hopefully with a positive outcome somewhere down the road.