Just Another Recovering Person

It’s been awhile since my last post, and I apologize. It’s not that a lot has gone on but enough to fill the days and hours. My new job is a backbreaker. I told my wife that it has been a number of years that I have had to work this hard for the rate of pay I have been given, in essence, they are getting their money’s worth.

The weather here, as it is across the south, has been at times unbearable. It was 102 here today with a heat index of 110 or so.

I spoke on Saturday at the NELA Area of NA’s 5th annual fish fry. It was attended by about 12 people. I am slowly coming to understand that this area is just not as big, nor does it simply have a large recovery community. Although drug court plays a role in where people attend, AA or NA, it seems people gravitate more towards AA.

I realize now I will have to work or put more effort into recovery being in a smaller community. It’s just that simple. I still am not sure what to do about a sponsor, there is one person here I may consider, but it’s nothing more than that for right now.

My wife is going stir crazy as she has still not found work. The kids being out of school is not helping this situation either. I know she is doing the best she can.

I had a great Father’s Day. I spoke to my dad on the phone for a half hour which is 20 minutes more than we usually do. I have had more contact with family since I left then when I lived in Ohio. It’s kind of sad actually. I received a nice email from my sister providing some encouragement and for right now my hope is in a better place than it has been in a while.

Comments on: "More Effort Needed" (5)

Bob – I’m feeling your hope. You sound like you are settling in. There is little more stressful than a big move like the one you have just gone through. I really related to your mention about your relationship with your family. Back in the UK I lived close to my parents and we barely saw each other and now that we are abroad our relationship is stronger, more forgiving – somewhere I wish I’d done it years ago!

Also – I moved from London to a tiny village in the country before coming out here so I can relate to how tough it is to go from a thriving NA community to a small huddle of people but from experience all you need is one rare gem and you’ll be set. Give it time. I think it takes a good 6 months to start feeling settled anywhere new.

It is good to hear from you. I agree with Nora that you are slowing settling in.

You wrote “I realize now I will have to work or put more effort into recovery being in a smaller community. It’s just that simple.”
I feel that this is a good thing. You know I believe most people have a tendancy to lean on the groups way too much. In essence, they are still quite self-abusive and unhealthy, but they have the support of people like them and can manage to stay clean. But who wants to know that removing the group reveals the nakedness of their own recovery?
Embrace other aspects of your health. No one who takes good care of themselves can throw it all away when the chips are down. Maybe start exersising or try to quit smoking? Not trying to nag. Just sharing what worked for me when i had to turn less to the group and more to myself. I had to get myself in good working order 🙂

Bob – glad to hear a bit about your new life and how things are going. It must be difficult to pick up and move and start over somewhere. I hope the work scene lets up a bit, and you can find some enjoyment and satisfaction there. The recovery community must have been waiting for, and needed, YOU! It takes time to build a strong foundation – in any thing. Be patient, and it will happen. Thinking of you, and am inspired by your courage and strength. Peggy