How To Choose Your First Sex Toy

May 22, 2020

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Sooner or later, most people venture bedroom wise into sex toys and vibrators. According to surveys, at least 53 percent of women have tried or used a vibrator once. And like all surveys about sex and orgasms, the real number is probably roughly 50 percent of women ages 18-60 own a vibrator, and close to 75 percent have used one.

Vibrators and sex toys are not just for women either. A SexToyCollective’s survey revealed roughly 66 percent of men had bought a sex toy, either to use on their partner or vibrators or butt plugs (or both) to use on themselves.

Here we’ll discuss buying your first sex toy as a woman, and as a man.

Buying your first sex toy as a woman in a committed relationship

To begin with, we’ll discuss the first sex toy to buy as a woman in a committed relationship. The first question a married woman or one who is in a committed relationship needs to ask is if they will share the use of their sex toy with their partner.

If the answer is, “no, I will only use it in the shower, or the bedroom when he is not home or staying over, then the natural response is to buy whatever gets you off the best.

However, if you plan on sharing with your partner, there are some obvious things to consider. If you come home from an adult toy shop or order from Amazon a footlong Hitachi Wand (Considered by many women to be the Cadillac of vibrators), don’t be surprised if your man is not at all pleased.

In fact, in a study published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, overall heterosexual men who had used sex toys with their partners reported lower levels of sexual satisfaction than men who had never used a sex toy with their partners.

The reasons for this are apparent. When women first bring a vibrator to the couple’s bedroom, men worry that they don’t have the right stuff physically to satisfy their woman. And when the vibrator is too big in particular, and the man knows the woman has had other sex partners, he worries that the woman is “having sex with him, but thinking of being impaled by a larger, more endowed sex partner.

Men have an incredibly fragile ego’s about the size of their penis. Otherwise, they wouldn’t spend millions of dollars per year on worthless penis extension pills.

So as a woman in a committed male/female relationship, do yourself a favor.

Avoid any vibrator that looks like a dick, i.e., one that is either white or black colored, has bulging veins like an erect penis.

Avoid a vibrator that is too large.

Trust us; most men are not going to be enamored of a 9-12 inch penis shaped vibrator that resembles what you’ve seen in porn movies.

Later on, after your man becomes accustomed to the vibrator in bed between you, you can buy a better vibrator, but stick to one of either two types:

A small thin 4-inch metallic-looking vibrator or a Lelo Type Vibrators.

Whats a Lelo Type vibrator? These are highly efficient urethane vibrators, often flexible, that look more like a bright chew toy than an orgasm machine. Genuine Lelos are incredibly powerful and will last a lifetime of orgasms. Alas, they are expensive but worth it. But there are plenty of cheap imitations out there.

The main point is you should bypass the rabbit vibrators, the Hitachis, the glass dildos, and the like. Later on, the two of you might become connoisseurs but stick to the basics.

Single women

If you are a single woman, you might want to start with something that you hadn’t even though of but a high powered showerhead. A great many women wither pleasure themselves in the shower or bathtub, and a showerhead may be enough gentle pressure to reinvigorate your sex life.

If you wish to masturbate alone and buy a vibrator, many first-timers follow the advice of sex therapists and purchase a Hitachi Wand type device or a Lelo type massager for their first foray into vibrators. Fortunately there are so many options out there that everyone can find the vibrator that suits them best.

One word of caution when choosing a vibrator is noise. Many battery-powered vibrators, cheaply mass-produced in Asia, are incredibly loud. So loud that everyone in the neighborhood is likely to know what you are doing, and most women prefer to masturbate discreetly.

As a consequence, whenever you buy, try to go to an adult toy store, corner a lady salesman, and ask to see a demonstration. Otherwise, you are just wasting your money.

Men enjoy sex toys too

If a man is in a relationship and the couple is experimenting with sex toys, a woman can use her vibrator gently on his testes, his penis, and his anus.

Surprisingly, many men have fantasies of being penetrated, and for first-time men, a small, thin vibrator with plenty of lubricants is best. If your man enjoys it and loves a good prostate massage, it’s rare that butt plugs, either static or vibrating, are not the next step.

Single men who have no sexual partner, and perhaps are too busy with work or school to look for one, often gravitate to a male sex toy that may relieve the loneliness. One of the most popular men toys is called a Fleshlight.

These are substitute vagina-like devices that stimulate a man to orgasm. Many women may laugh at the idea, but Fleshlight devices sell by the millions every year.

Another sex toy that men do buy is latex substitute women. For the most part, these aren’t for men who want to hang around the house all day and have sex with a babe they could never get. Often as much as $1,000, these are realistic or looking dolls that are frequently bought by men who have undergone trauma and aren’t into dating in real life.

Often these dolls can be very therapeutic for men who have undergone sexual or physical trauma. Soldiers with PTSD are heavy buyers.

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