Oct 25, 2006

Former Enron CEO Jeffrey Skilling was sentenced Monday to 24 years in prison. Republicans are hoping he serves the full 24 years. Then he'd be 76 -- just perfect to run for the U.S. Senate. (HaBlog)

The White House on Monday blamed the new Iraqi government for the mess in Iraqi. But the Iraqis promised to stay the course and not to cut and run. So at least they're up on all the important clichés. (HaBlog)

Senator Barack Obama now says he's considering a run for president in 2008, backing off previous statements that he would not do so. By breaking the first promise he ever made in office, Obama has now proved himself extremely well-qualified to be President. (Jake Novak)

Saddam Hussein will be sentenced on November 5 and probably executed on the 6th, just one day before Election Day. Apparently, Republicans want to clean the fire squad schedule before the elections in case they lose and need to use it with some of their own people. (Pedro Bartes)

The population of the United States is now at 300 million. It should be 400 million by Christmas. You can tell who the new people are too – they’re the ones that aren’t fat yet! (Jay Leno)

A Wisconsin man changed his name to Andy Griffith in his bid to be elected sheriff. This followed his unsuccessful attempt to run for mayor under the name "Boss Hogg." (Jim Barach)

A new government study has found that the average American car weighs five-hundred pounds more than it did ten years ago. However, this is only true if an average American is sitting in the car. (Conan O'Brien)

College football conference races are intense. The Ohio State Buckeyes have their toughest opponents coming up. The Academic Regulations Committee. (Alan Ray)