Monthly Archives: May 2009

Last night we had a talk on worshiping unabashedly…and I am just not sure what to think. I have gen a lot of thought about worship. The moral of last nights talk was we should worship with out embaressment.

We all were invited up to the front to worship with abandon by resinging the worship songs…I went up but did not feel like the songs were “worship” to me. They did express the joy in my heart. They were watered down, a poor substitute.

Often I feel the same way about Christian Radio. There is this “sound” to much of Christian music that I find offensive. If I am scanning a radio dial in a city I don’t know Ican pick it out on the scan. I never could.put my finger on it. What causes me to cringe? Then there are these songs that just hit me in that sweet spot of my soul. What is it?

Last night as I stood there I realize I crave something real. I don’t want something watered down, dilute, a farce. I want the real, the rough, the dirty. I want to jump, make a fool of myself with worship. I want a worship party.

Today is the last day of our Maine vacation. (I will be posting my logs ever so soon). It has been fun…now I am drinking Yogi sweet Mexican Chili tea and eating Bronwen’s Lemon Poppy Seed Cookies.

Today we woke up from a deep sleep and aroused to go to church, a mere block from Bronwen’s house. It is a quaint New England church, definitely throwback. There were about 30-40 persons or “souls” in attendance. First we had Sabbath school, which we went over Daniel…apropos as Tompaul and I are going over it in the youth class. It was more lecture and less discussion. The teacher was nice, friendly and earnest. His bible verses came from the Elder Blanco version…much to my chagrin. Then we went to the church service that was “traditional” by all means. It was performed in the “now you may be seated” and “please kneel as far as possible” style. The pastor was away and Bronwen’s sabbath school teacher gave the sermon. It was all correct facts given in a rote manner, lacking experiential stories.

For all of my sarcasm and pithy comments the congregation was nice, welcoming and I felt, interested. I don’t know that they would be blessed by they church service I enjoy, and I did get something out of their service. And the parts that caused me to feel insolent were the cliched sayings, and boxed answers. I did not meet grace. I feel our church is constantly pushed to modernize, be more postmodern, yet is that the key? Will that help others to meet God? To know they are saved? To have an peace that passes understanding?

I don’t think it is the packaging but the ingredients. But how to latch onto that? How do we funnel that? I worry that we are all so bogged down in service order, song choice, sermon names, podcasting that grace is lost. Probably because it is the most baffling, most difficult. I know I don’t have it…I might have, one day, long ago.

Tompaul and I have left for our New England trip. We will be staying with Bronwen who we miss dearly.

I will be posting the travel log each day.

306pm Leaving Hertz. The lady who arranged for the car was from northern ireland and had a lovely accent. Unfortunately she was majorly unhelpful. Wouldn’t let me drive because in the NE the don’t have rules against charging for spouses to drive. We got a “discount” of $11 per day. We said thank you but no thank you after Tompaul gave them a lecture about ethics. Tompaul is driving and I am now dubbed “assistant to the driver.”

317pm Boston is interesting. Short buildings. Stout steeples. Listening to the long fall back to earth. Good times. Wish we could poke around here but other states are beconing.
326pm Getting on 95N. Gave Bron a call. She is sounding a bit better. . . sort of.

The time has come. Stephanie graduated from high school last night. I can hardly believe that this exciting 18 month journey is begining a new chapter.

The weekend was packed with activities. Class night, vespers, baccaulareate and finally graduation itself. Stephanie was just absolutely beautiful. She has grown into a graceful elegant woman. I can’t imagine being any prouder.

She glowed thw entire weekend. She was awarded a yearly scholarship that she applied for…and I think she was quite shocked. Not to mention the scholarships from Southern.

I was also wowed by the asupport from our church. In all there was 7 church members who drove up for the graduation. I know she felt supported.

Well this is drawing to a close…as this is my first post written on my blackberry. Kinda rambling as I can’t see the whole picture.

Distantly I remember being a fun and interesting person...but that seems long ago. I sold my soul and now I am going to reclaim it.
I am in Baltimore for a year of fellowship. The city is not "the greatest city in America" as the benches would have you believe. I am going to use this time to reclaim my passions and hobbies before it is too late!