Friday, November 12, 2010

Keep Track: Pocket CalenderThis is my little calender. It should be out by Dec 15! Fits in your pocket! You write in the dates. There are two pages for each month, then four pages for notes between months. Perfect for if the Slingshot calender has too much space for you.

All I Want is Everything #1Well written, articulate personal/feminist zine. The first article is about getting out of a long-term abusive relationship. There are articles about victim blaming, refusing to live in the past, pop culture, and much more. It's really good!

Love Letters to Monsters #3 / Alabama Grrrl #9 splitI haven't even finished this yet, but it is my favorite loveletters zine so far, and I'm so excited about Alabama Grrrl too!Ciara's side is more memoir like than usual, still political, but not as much indignation. The first story is partially about her mom. I have a number of friends who's mom's are homeless or close to homeless, kind of crazy or really crazy, and there is something so confusing about mothers needing care, and when to draw the line. I struggled with it a lot with my mom, and felt so alone. I am always really grateful when people get the courage to write about their complicated relationships like this. She writes about community and how overused that word is, and wanting laughter. writing, mental and physical health, running a distro. It's like a long story. It's good.

Alabama Grrrl is about being queer and punk in the late 90's in Pittsburgh, "Things I wished I would've known before going to grad school," a love-letter breakup letter to the violent/misogynistic scene that is happening in her town, hoping it will energize new kids to create a safer place.

Cometbus #51 The Lonliness of the Electric MenorahA story about two bookstores in Berkeley that were started in the underground in the 60's, and we were forever trying to get our zines into. Why didn't they support us? It was strange. This zine is almost like a fable, and is about a lot more than just these two bookstores. It's about how partnerships come together and how they get subverted. Based on long interviews with a zillion people.

Cometbus #52 The Spirit of St Louisa story of a group of punks, how they try to make or unmake a life and scene. It's second title is "How to Break Your Own Heart, a tragedy in 24 parts.

Kerbloom 85These little pretty zines have been coming out forever, every two months. They are done on letterpress, which is the kind of printing press where you have to put each letter in one at a time.This is my favorite one in awhile. "I would say that each of us is a star, that we form constellations, and that these constellations change."

Many survivors already know this: that after you are raped, you are never the same person again. More specifically, someone has died and new person is born. And like a newborn, the new person must learn first how to survive and then eventually, live.

The five stages of grief is a psychological theory. It outlines and supposes five stages of emotional battle the can occurs in the aftermath of loss.

The first stage is denial.

Survivors may tell themselves it never happened. It wasn’t rape. The person who did this is my friend, my boyfriend, girlfriend, relative, lover, spouse, neighbor. It wasn’t rape.

The second stage is anger.

Survivors can live in a room full of anger, resentment, bitterness, self-blame and self-loathing for weeks, months, sometimes years. They have recognized what has happened and the emotions are often overwhelming.

Bargaining is the third stage.

Bargaining is giving ourselves false hope because we cannot deal with our reality. We look to recover what was lost or taken. We lost our sense of wholeness and cannot deal with our brokenness, so we jump into a relationship, alcohol, drugs, work, sex…believing that if we do something, we will get what we once had. Bargaining looks different for everyone, but regardless of what the behavior is, the hope is trying to get back what cannot be recovered.

Fourth stage is depression

Nearly every survivor will combat depression in some form. Disinterest in previously enjoyed activities, frequent crying spells, trouble sleeping, sleeping too much, changes in appetite. There are numerous symptoms of depression and most survivors will describe it in two words: dark numbness.

The fifth stage is acceptance.

Acceptance doesn’t mean that we’re happy or that we don’t revisit the other stages from time to time. Acceptance means acknowledging that something has lost and we are not the same person as before. A new way of living must be learned and while the road is long, a first step was taken.

As a survivor, do you remember a certain stage you may have experienced? Do you remember moving through that part of your life? What got you through? When did you turn the corner? Who helped you?

In your letter, remember that the survivor is in a raw place, perhaps not even certain of what just happened. Focus not on the darkness, but what brought you to the next place, on what acceptance looked like for you. What brought you into the light?

why gender, and what is alex looking for? gender is something everybody has and few understand, despite the volumes written on the subject already. alex is looking for personal essays, poems, or other forms of expression that get at what gender means to YOU and how do you LIVE gender. topics could be about anything, and might gesture at: what is gender? how does it affect you? do you feel like you have a gender? how do you want others to see you and how do you see yourself? do your thoughts on your own gender shift? what is getting dressed like? what is it like to walk around as you? how do your political ideas about gender enter your daily life (or do they)? what else springs to mind when you think about the topic? tell some stories. this is a good chance to write something a “normal” editor wouldn’t take on, something you’re still sorting out. this is a great chance to write about something that scares you.