Friday, December 9, 2011

Every girl is princess to her father and dad is her hero. I was also that princess who grew up still to remain a little princess for her father. But am one of those unfortunate ones who lost her hero as well.Whenever I think of Baba, I can just remember those wise words of wisdom, those jokes, all the inspiration he gave me and those eyes filled with immense love! We shared a special bond and Baba was the one who created that bond. My hubby still says that he has spoilt me which I don't deny ;) but whatever good things I have learnt I can proudly say that those are from Baba.When I was studying, he would say give in your best. When I started working, he still said the same... Never once he has asked me about how much I earn or about my designation. He has always told me that keep giving your best and don't cheat on yourself, you will always succeed!My mornings used to become better after hearing his cheerful voice and his happy 'good morning' :) I just crave to hear that voice again.The only thing that gives me peace is that he was suffering a lot because of his health and was not able to do anything he liked and God gave him relief from that finally.Wherever he is , I know his blessings are with me. Wherever he is I know he is looking at me with those love filled eyes. I just want to tell you baba that I love you loads and I miss you everyday. I just wish I could hear your voice again and give you a tight hug! But I will smile and do all the things you have always taught me and make you proud with my deeds. And I know you are smiling and reading this with a glass of scotch and saying Cheers!!!! :)

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Friendship can have no definition or no set of rules... You just happen to make friends and connect to certain people.

Today I will tell you all about one of my special friends. I met her in India when I shifted to a new apartment after marriage. I had asked the society watchman to send someone for househelp.She came like a normal househelp, her salary was fixed and her daily chores were identified. We started chatting, though the 1 hour she was in my house, was the busiest hour of the day! 'Getting ready for office'. But still we managed to strike a conversation daily and it was mostly she sharing her daily challenges of in-laws, monetary aspect, kids and a lot of things. But I made it sure I had sometime to talk to her, as she told she feels good to share her thoughts with me. Like she said she doesn’t have friends.

She was married off at 15 and became a mother at 16. And when I was celebrating my 1st anniversary at 25, she was celebrating her 10th! She had to manage a household of 10 morons who had thought that they were marrying off their son to get a full-time househelp, who was bound to do everything they asked!.

I used to feel very connected to her and tried my best to help her in ways that was possible. But she herself was one strong lady! What made her special was that she never sought sympathy, she was strong and wanted to be independent and the most important, wanted her kids to have a good education so that they don't face her challenges.
She fought with her in laws and started earning so that she could send her kids to an english medium school. She used to bring her kids to my place and sometimes i used to talk to them over phone, giving those advices which I would have given to my own children, especially on studies and career.
Her braveness doesn't end, she convinced her husband to move out of her in-laws house into there own small one, so that whatever time she had after working as a househelp, she could spend that with her kids, instead of working again for a big family of inconsiderate 10 people!

I always used to feel that its unfair. Me at 25 was just married, staying alone with hubby, roaming around, have a job and the other normal aspects. But she, whenever she used to share her feelings, never once compared, or said that its unfair! Just that she would not want her daughter to be in the same shoes as hers.

When I was moving from that apartment and shifting abroad, I got nostalgic and started remembering a lot of people and things I would miss on a daily basis. And she was one. There was not one day that I would open the door in the morning and she wouldn't greet me with a smile. She used to scold me like my mom, if I would not eat the chapatis she made. She would make me some sweet dish like a friend as treat for my birthday :)

I called her after reaching netherlands but I couldn't reach the number she had given. I was very upset, but after a month I got to speak to her. And I was so happy that day that I mentioned this to my colleagues. And everyone found it strange that I was making international calls to talk to my househelp back in india! So I ask everyone today, why is it so difficult for people to accept someone's friend who is not from the same background. But I proudly call her my friend and dedicate this post to one of the strongest women I have ever come met :) And I thank the Almighty, to make my journey of life full of so many experiences and so many special friends. I learnt something from each one of them!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Why the hell are you so interested in hearing a good news from me?.. I hope you people are understanding the hidden 'good news' part. It irritates me to the core, when am forced to face such questions! I am not waiting for the good news neither my husband is and nor my parents are, then who the hell are you?!I really wonder sometimes, does marriage mean having babies as a compulsory attribute along with it? I am very happy in my married life and equally busy in my work life and yes I have not even given any kind of thought to having babies. Am I wrong in that?And come on, when I want to have a baby and whether I should have a baby or not, is totally a matter under me and my husband. Why does that distant relative or that office colleague or that neighbour, is interested in something that is very personal?

When you are not married, you get loads of advise to get married and why you should get married and how important it is and all that blah! And then when you get married, they will start the same rant with babies in picture now. When will these 'too courteous' people understand that they have just no business in this! When I will have a baby, they will get the good news, so just be bothered about that and don't poke your ugly and irritating nose into other things!

Very frankly, I have not thought of having babies. I feel I am not mentally prepared for a baby, and may be I never feel that way. But that is my personal thinking and the only person who can question me is my husband! No one else! When I tell people that I might never think of having babies, I am given such alien looks that I feel i just committed a verbal crime! I get remarks like 'Ya you still have time, you can wait till you are 30'. Ok, so far so fine. What if I turn 30 and am still not ready to become a parent and take that responsibility?! Will I be sent to a mental rehabilitation center??? Or will I be out-casted from the community?!

My sister just delivered a baby boy. And I am really happy for her and really feel wonderful whenever I see him and feel very affectionate towards him. But when I talk to her and listen about the responsibilities that come along and how suddenly your daily routine has to change etc, I really don't foresee myself doing all that. I am scared to an extent and more importantly haven't thought about it so much. But yes, even if I decide not to have a baby, I don't feel am doing anything wrong in that! If both me and my husband feel that being a parent is something we won't be able to do rightly or we don't want to experience that, it is something that we both have decided and it is our choice.

So, YOU X aunty or Y neighbour or Z colleague, please don't give me advice! If I feel the need of it, I will ask it from my parents or my sis or my close friends.It is OUR life and it will be OUR good news!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

I have been having this thought since some time now. Is our surname really important? We all form a first impression of any person we meet. But did you realise that the conclusions we draw of our 'first' impression also include a few from the 'surname' of a person.In India we have so many casts and also different religions across the country and hence we have uncountable number of different surnames. So, when we happen to meet a person for the first time we tend to conclude something from the surname. I am no God, even i do the same!!! Its actually funny most of the times ;)I being a bengali had the privilege of spending my childhood in a small cosmopolitan town and hence coz of all obvious reasons I am a bit of every culture (depending on the 'best friend' i had in that class ;) ). We as kids were so naive!!! anyways coming back to the topic. I am often faced with this remark " Oh wow your hindi doesn't sound like a bengali!". Now I fail to understand, was this a compliment or a failing mockery!!!I did my graduation in maharashtra and had the opportunity to experience hostel life. And as all hostel sagas go even I had horrible meals provided in the hostel. Wait, can I even call it a meal?! Every meal and every curry used to be full of groundnuts! And thus came another inference "all maharashtrians love just groundnuts"! thank god I was proven wrong ;). And then I married a gujrati! When ever I tell this to anyone the first reaction I get is "Oh poor you, a bengali married to gujrati, you must have stopped eating non-vegetarian food and your husband must be very kanjoos (miser)"!!!!Thank god none of them is true!!! ;) Why can't a gujrati eat non vegetarian food and why the hell can't he be a spent thrift!!!!I have many muslim friends and I love many small aspects of their culture as well! Specially the food!!! One of my muslim friends was once faced with a question "during a india-pakistan match whom do you support?". People, can there be a more dumber question!!!! Does she have to provide a certificate that she is an Indian??!!!So, I have decided one thing, whenever I am going to have a child, I for sure am not going give him/her any surname which will define his caste or religion. I am sure my husband will support me on this. We all crib about a lot of things that are not changing but never realise that change has to start somewhere. So, in my family I will start the change. I want my child to know the fact that he/she is an indian and rest whatever the child wants to learn or follow its upto him/her. Be it any caste or be it any religion! :)

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Dedicating this post to one of my sweetest friend who just experienced the happiness of motherhood... I just tried to portray her feelings in my words... hope to experience this wondrous feeling someday....

A smile tinkled at meHer eyes showed a million starsA touch of her handMade me forget where I am

I was scared, I was anxiousI was wondering howHer cry made me feelMy angel is now on earth

I wish her happinessI wish her all d good wishesI thank god for giving me my treasureShe is my daughter, she is my loveShe is my pearl, my darling forever...