Swap in breadwinner roles can cause strain on families

Laurie Flanagan, left, holds her 19-month-old son, Kade, as her husband, Michael, holds their 3-year-old daughter, Kelsey, while they talk about their lives at the family’s home in Clovis, Calif.
(courtesy photo) McClatchy Newspapers

FRESNO, Calif. — Across the country, a growing number of married
women are becoming the primary breadwinners for their families as
more husbands lose their jobs.

Over the last two years, federal labor figures show, the
unemployment rate has risen much faster for men than for women —
reaching 10.5 percent, compared to 7.9 percent among women.

The dynamic creates not only financial turmoil for households, but
also emotional stress as wives and husbands cope with a reversal of
traditional roles.

Laurie Flanagan of Clovis, Calif., knows that stress all too
well.

Flanagan, a respiratory therapist at St. Agnes Medical Center in
Fresno, Calif., has been supporting her family since husband
Michael’s business selling embroidered promotional apparel went
bust last December.

“I just thought, my gosh, what are we going to do?” Laurie Flanagan
recalled after two of her husband’s biggest clients went out of
business and spending by other customers virtually dried up. “Thank
goodness for my job ... (but) we were still spiraling
downward.”

Her paychecks weren’t enough to avoid losing their home to
foreclosure and filing for bankruptcy. Now the couple and their two
children — daughter Kelsey, 3½, and son Kade, 1½ — live in a rental
home in a quiet neighborhood.

“I’m lucky because the medical field is one that’s stable,”
Flanagan said.

But the strain isn’t far below the surface. “It’s hard for me,” she
said. If Kade is asleep when she goes to work or comes home from
her 12- to 14-hour shifts, “sometimes I’m away 48 hours without
holding him.“

She also worries about her emotions rubbing off on the children.
“They’re smart kids,” she said. “If you’re under stress, they know
it. ... It tends to build up, so you have to make time to unwind
and get away from it.“

The U.S. Department of Labor reports that in the last two years,
the number of unemployed men in the workforce rose by more than 5
million — nearly double the number of women who became unemployed
in the period.

California doesn’t track unemployment by gender at the state or
local level. But of about 20,000 jobs lost in the last two years in
Fresno, Madera, Kings and Tulare counties, 16,000 were in
agriculture, construction, manufacturing and transportation —
industries that federal labor officials say are historically
dominated by men.

The same is happening nationwide.

“As husbands lose their jobs, family earnings plummet, and the role
of wives’ earnings often becomes critical to keeping families
afloat,” University of New Hampshire sociology professor Kristin
Smith said in a report issued last week by the university’s Carsey
Institute.

“Job loss and unemployment are expected to rise for the next year,
alongside the growing importance of wives’ earnings to family
stability,” Smith said. “This increased reliance on wives as
breadwinners will continue to shine a spotlight on changing gender
roles in the family, equity in the workplace and work/family
tensions.“

For Teresa and Jeff Douglass of Visalia, Calif., challenges came
after he was laid off in August from his job as a welder for a
company that manufactured fruit-packing equipment

Subscribe to Breaking News!

Get breaking news stories sent to you as they develop!

I understand and agree that registration on or use of this site consitutes agreement to its user agreement and privacy policy.

About a month later, Teresa Douglass lost her job as a newspaper
photographer. She was out of work for three months before she
landed a part-time job with a nonprofit agency.

“When Jeff lost his job, I was working full time,” Teresa Douglass
said. “Then I got laid off. It was hard, but I think each of us had
more empathy for what the other was going through.“

“We’re at a time in our lives when we should be working hard and
putting away money, but we can’t do that now,” she added.

Financial stress is only one issue facing families in which the
responsibilities have shifted, said Dr. Sue Kuba, a professor of
clinical psychology at Alliant International University in
Fresno.

Each family is different, Kuba added, and cultural differences can
affect how a family deals with the upheaval.

In some families, “shame and doubt may keep a couple from talking
about the changes in a conscious way,” Kuba said. “There may not be
clear communication about the need to shift those roles and
responsibilities.“

A wife who has to work more hours to make up for a husband’s lost
income “may feel guilty about not being able to be with the
children and the other things that she finds emotionally rewarding,
or feel that she needs to try to do everything,” Kuba said. “He may
try to make up for some of the things she’s always done at home,
and she feels intruded upon.“

In the workplace, a woman whose husband has lost his job may become
more afraid for her own job as well. “She may become less assertive
and have more fear,” Kuba said.