204-year-old man completes first marathon

New Minas — It was all smiles at the Centrum-sponsored marathon in New Minus, N.S. on Tuesday, May 16.

A record number of runners participated in the Boston Marathon qualifying event, but the spotlight of the day belonged to 204-year-old Neil Bogan, who, despite having a semi-hard jelly substance for both a brain and a skeleton, managed to completed the 42-kilometre trek in under 21 hours.

“He fell down. A lot. But when he did, we always picked him back up and told him the Germans were still pursuing from the rear and that he’d have to run for his life,” said Nancy Bogan, the runner’s great-great-granddaughter.

Bogan collapsed approximately 12 km from the finish line. But like a scene from so many other inspirational marathon-related social media posts, a litany of other runners, who had long since completed the trip, snatched Bogan up and dragged him across the finish.

“It was an incredible sight,” said Gregory MacMillan, a competitive runner. “I mean, if that guy’s 204, then nobody in the world has an excuse not to complete a marathon, am I right?”

As Bogan’s body crossed the finished line, a number of local onlookers recorded the feat on their smartphones. They then each took turns passing him around to pose for selfies, chanting “no excuses.”

Bogan agreed to an interview, but his answers to The Manatee‘s questions were unintelligible.

Nancy Bogan provided a statement on her great-great-grandfather’s behalf.

“We made great-great-pops run this so that people get the message: no excuses. There are no goddamn excuses. Just run a fucking marathon, for fuck’s sake. What are you doing right now? Are you running a marathon? No? What’s your excuse? I’ll wait. See? I knew it. You don’t have an excuse.”

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