Theo Verelst Diary Page

Tue Mar 27 18:26:51 2001

I've decided after good example to write some diary pages with toughts
and events.

Oh, in case anybody fails to understand, I'd like to remind them
that these pages are copyrighted, and that everything found here may not
be redistributed in any other way then over this direct link without my
prior consent. That includes family, christianity, and other cheats. The
simple reason is that it may well be that some people have been ill informed
because they've spread illegal 'copies' of my materials even with modifications.
Apart from my moral judgement, that is illegal, and will be treated as
such by me. Make as many references to these pages as you like, make hardcopies,
but only of the whole page, including the html-references, and without
changing a iota or tittel...

And if not? I won't hesitate to use legal means to correct wrong
that may be done otherwise. And I am serious. I usually am. I'm not sure
I could get 'attempt to grave emotional assault' out of it, but infrigement
on copyright rules is serious enough. And Jesus called upon us to respect
the authorities of state, so christians would of course never do such a
thing. Lying, imagine that.

Tue Mar 27 18:20:59 2001

After some though not sufficient thought some personal subjects
at least as thought food, and it makes some difference writing
in public, knowing that then at least is it publicly knowable and
at least for some known what is verifiably uttered by me and
appearently testable opinion, which can be publicly echoed back
at me when such is opportune. Good for character judgement
and credibility checks, at least.

I think I'll add some bwise window dumps, I've done some fun enough
things, and would not stress but at least point out that I think I'm
capable of doing all kinds of very thorough, professional, almost
untouchable programming tasks on the basis of it and some
additional solid ideas, but now feel more prompted to sit down
and play around with it, a bit of this, trying a little or big fun
application like that, making the whole state saveable but not
going into all the namespace and dot notation idiosyncracies,
not making all the code with unix man page tight formulated
double checked extensive manual pages, complete and
extensively up to fool proof tested wonderfully limited and
powerfull library routines and clearcut and decent clearcut routine
sets, and more of such, as if I'm designing top measurement
equipment with a price tag in the 6 figure range a piece.

I'm just having some fun with lets say everything in and out
objects, communication between them, graphical respresentation
of them, networks based on them, and how to make something
that actually works that is quite complicated, considered impossible
to define or even largely ununderstood by quite some programmers,
which is also up to language tasks, lets say list based computer
circuits operations and virtual machines, and in general is
powerfull enough to even make a compiler or such with.

Not that such is needed, but its fun enough to in maybe 15 minutes
make a 16 slider application that can put various slider movements
on a stack and play them back inreverse order, while showing
the network activity to make that happen interactively. Fun enough.

Personal Faith

First, the serious stuff, I guess. Am I a personal christian? Yes, I've
been not active in that sense and not ackowledging it in any
conscious form for quite some years, but at least for 4 years
or so I've been consciously so, meaning I think about the subjects
involved, engage in such activities as prayer and thinking about
spiritual things in that context, and in principle want to act in life
on the basis of sane and tested enough convictions based on
the existence of God, the reality of his Son having come to this
world to save many from sin and prepare eternal life, and
the Holy Spirit (of which I'm sure there is only one real one) being
capable of expressing what He in his grace wants to reveal
of his mercy, plan or about situations He permits his people
to work with or in.

I also believe that when someone has the priviledge of being
found by God, and given a new heart and and the possibility
to not be seperated spiritually from Him and find His purposes
in life that there is a new person that He created in all holyness
and possible perfection that one can learn to find and live in,
and that for every such person, there is a specific ministry,
seperable in the various known kinds, apostles, prophets,
teachers, evangelists, shepperds, givers, showers or mercy,
exhorters, and maybe a few more, and that there are
works that go with that ministry that He prepared, where we
can live in, so as to fullfill His plans purposes for the life
that He intended to fit with every person and type of persons'
characteristics and main mode of living.

I also believe there is personal and lets say knowledgewise growth
possible for anyone from 'new born christians' to adults in faith,
and that also for in general people that convert or want to
stay away from evil there is a need for knowledge and
personal development at least to find out what is right and
what isn't and be able to stick with that.

I prefer to stay sane and stick with sound teaching and
normally verifyable logic and lines of thinking, acknowledging
of course that the holy spirit is indeed a holy spirit, which contains
a supernatural element, and that acceptance of a person Jesus
that defeated and rose from death is even more daring and
potentially unnatural and at least hard to verify than the
existence of an alknowing and almighty God who in the
end will judge the living and the dead, and made and judged the
world as we know it, and made provisions for salvation and
learning about his character and standards of righteousness
and holyness.

So what do we or the world or our neighbour or god need
more: praise prophets, showers of mercy, evangelists or
the doctrine related ministries? And who will lead all these
wonderfull persons and their ministries, and their works
and as far as applicable: their lives?

And who knows what (the real) God realy wants, or wether
He even exists or seriously occupies himself with this world and
its inhabitants? As a partial answer: who lives with the knowledge
they seriously have about the generally and personally oriented
revealed will of God, seriously? When we don't do as God wants,
we should be convinved of sin, maybe bad maybe noting worth
noticing much, maybe unsolvable at a certain moment, maybe
we're in some sort of learning proces, but the bottom line is
that at least deliberate rebellion with the power to do otherwise,
out of no good intentions against the clear, known, and tested
will of God is a form of rebellion that will make for not good
fruits in some way.

That's the essence of a lot of things not being right in christian
sense in many ways, and I'd almost say boringly so, considering this
type of teaching is pretty old common knowledge. But for those
not around when it was preached, forgetfull or in other need
of remembrance: God does test His own for obedience to
His revealed will, even his own Son was subjected to such
testing, though without failing. Why? I guess mortals and demons
are not good counsellors, and sin is so much in every root
in the world that nothing much good can be expected by
straying in any direction suggested by something from it
as alternative to the good and righteous god.

Of course these are major statements with no guarantees that
it is possible to deal with that world and life in general in a way
that is good enough and holy and upright and fullfilling and
alive and effective against every form of evil encountered and
against all human factors adding up to betrayal, death, hate
of good and God, sin in general and inspired by darkness and
maybe jeleousy or greed, and wether is it worth taking the
risc of finding oneself stuch with only one way: out of many
miserable life modes and the certain risc that against certain
forms and working of sin in life only one answer will be sufficient:
that Jesus is needed as a solution for continuing forgiveness and
that it is required to acknowledge that it is righteous that God
who sent him as atonement has the right to life that He saved,
primarily.

So we all become slaves of Christ and God and suffer our all our
life long under obeying every whimp the Holy Spirit wants to utilize to
show the world what subjection is with, sort of like Paul? I'm sure that
image is wrong. First, we're not all like Paul, and in fact being
a jew that finds Christ in person in even tangible form, being the
main new testament letter writer that is still read and of considerable
influence 20 centuries later is a position and authority probably
no one can match. Maybe Peter or so, or Jesus, or course, but
that's about it. A contemporary apostle or prophet (second
on the list of natural authoritiveness going with certain
ministries) could maybe compete by having their words or
videos seen by more people simulaneously than ever lived
on the earth before, or maybe have the biggest print numbers
in history (though I'd say its hard to top of Paul, here), or
as first deal with the wonders of the information age, that glory
is I guess available at top level, but not the foundations and
even main visions on christian, and evidently on prior prophetic
teaching and revelation.

In short and plain english: the mistery of the church, the body of
christ as a period of Grace for jews and gentiles after the time of the
law, and supposedly before the return of Jesus and the
fulfilment of the promise to the jews of the thousand years
of peace, has been revealed to the first apostles in more
than clear enough language and amount of detail, so the
basics of teaching in new testament sense, which still
applies, has been laid down by them, and there is no need
for current ministries to lay that foundation in basic form again.
Know material, and as far as needed the mistery of how that
all is has already been revealed in that time, and there is no
reason to assume the basics have changed.

That leaves every generation with the need to learn to apprehend
what that basis is, how it applied to everyones' life, and of
course what every person could and should be about and
focussing on and dealing with, and of course like every normal
human being knows, life has experiences and growth in various
ways that are know in evert detail to everyone unless one
wants to be engulved in very spooky doctrine and spiritual
states, The factor of God's revelation, which can apply also
to personal issues, and in every case would preferably have
to be tested thourough enough by reliable enough people
fro genuity of the source, of course adds the factor of
a supernatural source that could and at times should have impact
in a persons life, contrary to just about every other source, that
safely and preferably can be discarded and subdued to sane
enough normal thinking and forgotten.

In other words when God says A, should we do B, or nothing at all,
and how is that? Well, maybe we are allowed or enticed to indeed
also B, or facultatively B, or just eat plain fries and don't worry, or
something. Or we may wonder how the voice or other forms
of revelation of and from the Holy Spirit can actually exist, and
how serious we can take them, and very importantly, how we
can discern the true source of utterances taken for of the
Holy Spirit, which apart from rightfully trusted human beings
I assure everyone we can safely ignore and preferably discard.

I'm sure the Hare Christna's or general bush negro medicin man
are convinced they should orient their lives after the will of
some demon, and that canibals probably also find their guiding
spirits of high authority, but no one in their right mind should take
them as more then normal human beings because of their
alledged spiritual value or enriching spiritual illumination. Because
the source is wrong, and never worth trying, ever.

No ouija board ever made anyone happier, I'd think not even
in the short run. No soothsayer either. No fake religeous leader
either, I'm sure. In the face of such delusive and evil sourced
spiritual leads, ignoring them is without any question the easiest
and an effective way to stay clear from the possible damning results
of taking them as leading or guiding influences or persons.

Yet the Holy Spirit is a person who does lead at times, and who
does provide utterances of various kinds that again after hopefully
reliable testing could have major impact in life, and therefore become
a factor outside the natural, the tangible and possibly the rationally
tracable. Then the gospel and all the doctrine we take serious and
what we think and spiritually have place for would better be for
real and good. And reliable and according to the will of the
One with complete and utter authority and knowledge of also
those things, or we're pretty much in danger of getting messed
up or with.

And when such taking serious of possibly divine revelation and
communication takes on a place in the essence of out lives, it
would indeed better be the good and reliable and holy and
alknowing God the Father that is at the other end of the link,
or providing what we think is worth something, or the essence
of our lives in in danger of getting messed with, The latter is
a major source of error, disillusionment, misery, unfulfilling or
lets say not rewarding christian experience, and probably
of bad and misleading leadership in names related with
Christ and the religions that claim is name, rightfully so or not,
or that should act in his name, and not in someone elses, or
that simply suggest that they of course are given authority
by the indeed highest instance of such in life, death, the
earth, human life, and I guess everything else as well. For certain
including every power of darkness, not a single one excluded, and I'm
convinced of that on personal as well as theoretical level.

So why don't I have a job at a fingersnap, a Benz (make it another
audi 100, fine with me, got a 4 liter spare? Liquid gas, of course,
I've seen they have injection too, nowadays), a pool on the tropics,
and whatever other riches and succes there are to be had in
this world, a world ministry with my own tape distribution centre.
A world hit song, maybe? Could be arranged, I guess, nah, that's not
fair. And might suck, promotionwise. Oh, and top scientific career,
oops should do that myself, let's see, what else, a top position
in the country of choice, well, well, what else, lets see.

Without the cold shower intend, proverbs has interesting things
to say about all this, a main one I just remembered having
even uttered in words repeatedly because it has regularly struck
me being that in all riches and fullfillments and pleasures there
are in this world, and luckily there are more than a few legal and
harmless ones around in major parts of it, one must be able
to actually enjoy them, and if God hasn't granted or stopped such
priviledge, enjoyment may well be out and unavailable, in spite
of circumstance and good things. So that the conditions for
lets say happiness lie not just in the availability of the aforementioned,
however desirable that might be for some or at certain times, but
also in a factor not so easily or not at all in the power of a human
person.

Besides the law that only the likes of pharaos may have dared to
challenge 'vanity of vanities, everything is vanity', but then again,
they too are dead, just with a more expensive and remembered coffin.
I guess one could claim to be divine, and be proven wrong by an
infant that indeed is, but a few millenia ago proved to be futile
reversal just the same. I guess the claim of 'eternal life' makes
it possible to consider what goes beyond vanity, as well as the
sin problem solved, so that God can have to do with the
beginnings of a value in this world that is of not corruptable and
eventually of worthlessness, limitedness or futility.

The trust needed to find that that is so could be considerable,
and possibly based on unprovable material, could be wrong
altogether, which would be quite miserable, or an extrapolation
of experience after while retaining sanity engaging in the
spiritual which after testing would seem indeed to be Gods
and showing His properties and producing according fruits.

Considering faith means trust, we can expect God has made
provisions to proof what is trustworthy in His eyes, and to
make clear enough what His will is, and give means to
testify to what is true and done indeed in his name and
according to his will. Biblical, we find that the working of miracles,
which are not of obscure but of clearly christ centered nature,
the utterances in forms of tongues and explanations and prophesies,
and in general the showing forth of personally, socially and otherwise
perceivable good fruits are such proofs.

Well, well, mr so-and-so, with all this, some special treatment
required, a major monopod in our local maffia for a good price,
maybe? Will see, donno. It depends, I guess persons willing to
learn to live in Gods will which is and can be found to be indeed that
can be seen and considered in as many ways as there are
human beings, Of course such has consequences, but I guess
it is hard to predict what God will do in general to make people
live their lives with their (intended) ministry, except that in
general corruption, excessive greed, dishonesty, injustice,
abuse and such things are out of the possibility range,
or lets say out of the acceptability range, that would
not be reconcilable with gods character.

So a rockband is out? At least Kiss (I don't have the special
characters) made clear what can be important in life. Beats
'check my d*, it might actually be just about the biggest of the
whole block, but we're still comparing, hang on, you'll get the latest
news flash, and guaranteed, no beating whitney in the meanwhile,
realy don't worry'.

Playing my (or a new) Michael Brecker on a good stereo,
preferably loud enough to be able to break a glass at the
right moments, but without noticing (ever experienced that?)
would be nice. And trying the same not at home at night
after an afternoon sayling in some nice bay would even
be nicer. With some good beer nicer still.

I guess doing the latter without friendly or persons indeed as
friends enough present or elsewhere doesn't make more sense
than a playing gig, though its hardly arguable I'd like that still.

And in my opinion mainly when there is no one there or in thoughts
that I could love as a fitting and in my opinion attractive
person of opposite sex is probably not up to the job of
being satisfactory essentially. And even when not at that
point leading to or already having led to a lasting /
physical connection, my priorities comparisonwise would
be clear, with the comparatively few with whom such fits,
there is hardly a comparison.

Lets give the final word for now to the essence of the maibe the
main laws of God as revealed to the jews quite long ago, if we assume
that all that is accurate enough and he translations somewhere near
digestable (which is in all seriousness quite questionable), from
Deuteronium 5, the 10 commandments and some more,
as I've regularly heard them from pretty litle child on in
official (and later by me rejected) church, and sometimes
from the bible I got at some point myself, sort of out of
curiousity or interest in a higher source of right and justice
above what is there otherwise. The idea is to continue
reading until the conclusion of the (in itself artificial and
later added) chapter is reached,:

Deu 5:1 And Moses called all Israel, and said unto them, Hear, O Israel, the statutes and judgments which I speak
in your ears this day, that ye may learn them, and keep, and do them.

Deu 5:2 The LORD our God made a covenant with us in Horeb.

Deu 5:3 The LORD made not this covenant with our fathers, but with us, [even] us, who [are] all of us here alive
this day.

Deu 5:4 The LORD talked with you face to face in the mount out of the midst of the fire,

Deu 5:5 (I stood between the LORD and you at that time, to shew you the word of the LORD: for ye were afraid
by reason of the fire, and went not up into the mount;) saying,

Deu 5:6 I [am] the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage.

Deu 5:7 Thou shalt have none other gods before me.

Deu 5:8 Thou shalt not make thee [any] graven image, [or] any likeness [of any thing] that [is] in heaven above, or
that [is] in the earth beneath, or that [is] in the waters beneath the earth:

Deu 5:9 Thou shalt not bow down thyself unto them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God [am] a jealous God,
visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth [generation] of them that hate me,

Deu 5:10 And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me and keep my commandments.

Deu 5:11 Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain: for the LORD will not hold [him] guiltless
that taketh his name in vain.

Deu 5:15 And remember that thou wast a servant in the land of Egypt, and [that] the LORD thy God brought thee
out thence through a mighty hand and by a stretched out arm: therefore the LORD thy God commanded thee to keep the
sabbath day.

Deu 5:16 Honour thy father and thy mother, as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be
prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

Deu 5:17 Thou shalt not kill.

Deu 5:18 Neither shalt thou commit adultery.

Deu 5:19 Neither shalt thou steal.

Deu 5:20 Neither shalt thou bear false witness against thy neighbour.

Deu 5:21 Neither shalt thou desire thy neighbour's wife, neither shalt thou covet thy neighbour's house, his field, or
his manservant, or his maidservant, his ox, or his ass, or any [thing] that [is] thy neighbour's.

Deu 5:22 These words the LORD spake unto all your assembly in the mount out of the midst of the fire, of the
cloud, and of the thick darkness, with a great voice: and he added no more. And he wrote them in two tables of stone, and
delivered them unto me.

Deu 5:23 And it came to pass, when ye heard the voice out of the midst of the darkness, (for the mountain did
burn with fire,) that ye came near unto me, [even] all the heads of your tribes, and your elders;

Deu 5:24 And ye said, Behold, the LORD our God hath shewed us his glory and his greatness, and we have heard
his voice out of the midst of the fire: we have seen this day that God doth talk with man, and he liveth.

Deu 5:25 Now therefore why should we die? for this great fire will consume us: if we hear the voice of the LORD
our God any more, then we shall die.

Deu 5:26 For who [is there of] all flesh, that hath heard the voice of the living God speaking out of the midst of the
fire, as we [have], and lived?

Deu 5:27 Go thou near, and hear all that the LORD our God shall say: and speak thou unto us all that the LORD
our God shall speak unto thee; and we will hear [it], and do [it].

Deu 5:28 And the LORD heard the voice of your words, when ye spake unto me; and the LORD said unto me, I
have heard the voice of the words of this people, which they have spoken unto thee: they have well said all that they have
spoken.

Deu 5:29 O that there were such an heart in them, that they would fear me, and keep all my commandments
always, that it might be well with them, and with their children for ever!

Deu 5:30 Go say to them, Get you into your tents again.

Deu 5:31 But as for thee, stand thou here by me, and I will speak unto thee all the commandments, and the
statutes, and the judgments, which thou shalt teach them, that they may do [them] in the land which I give them to possess it.

Deu 5:32 Ye shall observe to do therefore as the LORD your God hath commanded you: ye shall not turn aside to
the right hand or to the left.

Deu 5:33 Ye shall walk in all the ways which the LORD your God hath commanded you, that ye may live, and
[that it may be] well with you, and [that] ye may prolong [your] days in the land which ye shall possess.

More Later

The obligational type of heading signifies not the reverse
of the subject it raises, or some meta discussion, I've
prepared no window dumps yet, because I've been doing some
of what I've planned a long time ago with bwise, which is
for instance to add some menu's. Not just for block editing
and fire behaviour, but also for creating new blocks.

I want to be able to click somewhere on the canvas and get
a popup with blocks to put on that spot, or 'make and instance'
of such a block. As some may have notices most blocks have
creation routines that can automatically deal with multiple
instances using obvious and convenient naming rules, an d
a menu to help getting a block on a canvas makes things
easier to use, and what's easier to use is used more, and
when it is also efficient, it may be selectable as a good
and generally usefull interface, at least by the likes of me
who like things to work right and in a usefull manner.

So a menu now pops up when the mouse is clicked anywhere on
the bwise canvas more than 2 pixels away from some object
(to prevent flapping menus when just missing a wire),
automatically presenting all types of graphics objects
that can be placed on the canvas. The menu is made automatically,
it finds out itself which procedures there are starting
with 'new...' such as newproc, newmon, and puts them in
the menu.

I was just looking at matching parameters for the function to
receive the right default arguments and the x and y variables
filled in to put the new block at the clicked spot in the
canvas. And guess what I sort of need: a xector type of
operation. Good educational stuff, more later...