Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Christian walk..my lonely journey

Background to those new to my blog (or me).. August 2015, I left my church of 30 years and joined a much smaller church. When I left my church, I admitted to myself that I had slipped in my walk for several years and wasn't sure what I believed anymore and I was determined not to be a fake Christian at my new church. I was honest and transparent and met with several women, a pastor, and ultimately renewed my relationship with Christ and started again with an eagerness and love for Christ that I forgot I knew existed.

So what happened? I don't know, I got out of habit of reading my Bible, I got out of habit of praying which I will admit has never been one of my strong points anyway. I got distracted with life and things started going downhill for me. I am ready to begin again and I don't really know how. But last time, I just started reading my Bible again and everything started clicking for me.

So why is this a lonely journey? Because as I started becoming more comfortable in my church, it was easy for me to go back to being fake. It was easy for me to not ask for help. And you have to ask for help because spiritual issues and Jesus and personal walks with Christ are not things that are often spoken of. And I have a handful of close friends but the rest of church gets a "hi how are you?" Five minutes before the service. Do these people in my church not care about me? Yes.. They inquire after me.. How are you? How is your school? how is your back?

But the questions I never get (or ask of others)... How is your walk with Jesus? What are you reading in your Bible right now? Do you have any questions about your reading? For those that know I deal with depression, no one ever asks about that either. Are these questions confrontional? are they too inquisitive of our brothers and sisters of Christ? Are we scared of the answers? Do we not really care? We pour into the lives of our young people. Who pours into the lives of adults?

I did have one person in the last couple of months ask me "What are you reading in your Bible right now?" My response .. I don't read my Bible. Her response.. Silence. That was the end of the conversation. It was awkward.

I know the answer to this.. I have to ask for help. I will be honest about two things 1) this blog post is not a passive aggressive cry for help and 2) I don't plan for asking for help. And if I have a bunch of people talking to me now..after I have written this..while that will be awkward too.

This blog post is to raise awareness...how many people are in our church and need a relationship with Christ? We talk about talking about Jesus outside of the church. Who is talking to people about Jesus to those inside the church? I am not an outlier here. There are church members all around you each Sunday who have stepped away from the faith, are hurting and need someone to talk to and they are not going to ask for help. So take my challenge.. How are you going to reach them? How are you going to show that you care about their spiritual needs?

And I am ready to fall in love with Jesus all over again and when I do, these are questions that I will ask myself too because I know I am not the only one. If you are one of the ones like me, don't be discouraged. I promise that all the help you need is right there in the Bible. Just open and read it and He will be there for you when it may seem like others aren't. And you also don't have to be like me..ask for help. People don't know what you need if you don't tell them. They really do care. I know they do.