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Thursday, January 03, 2008

Sister, sister, he's just a plaything

The baby STILL hasn't come. I tire of pregnancy. There are some (totally incomprehensible to me) women who say being pregnant is the best time of their lives. I am not one of those women. In fact, I greet such proclamations with not a little cynicism and a lot of disbelief. Seriously? Because...wow, if that's true.

And now I am in the strange position of having everyone I talk to at home say every time I call "Are you calling because the baby is on the way??" To which I can only say "no, dammit" while thinking "once upon a time people cared what I had to say in general but apparently those days are long gone." I mean, I knew it was only a matter of time, but still.

And so, times goes on, so slowly. I do the things that have to get done: I pay bills; I think about cleaning (I don't get much farther than that); I take extended naps; I read (voluminously but more on that later); I buy stuff (and boy is there a lot of stuff to be bought); I fret about every little bodily twinge (literally, I fret--it's like I have become an old woman all of the sudden); I have constant conversations with the baby, along the lines of "listen, I think it's time to get the heck out of dodge, don't you?" or "hey, look at this nice bed we have for you; don't you want to try it out?" or "this is getting serious; I am not joking: you need to come immediately." Sadly, he doesn't answer, except with his ever-expanding repertoire of kicks or yet another case of the hiccups.

I also eat, a lot. I am ravenous lately, for all kinds of foods. Yesterday, it was Chinese food and pizza. Today, I am thinking Indian. Earlier this week I had barbecue and pasta and salad and bowls and bowls of cereal and bagels and mashed potatoes and belgian waffles and hash-browns and hamburgers and milk shakes and you name it (but not all at once, of course). As I said to the husband, the baby has taken away sleeping and sitting and walking and muscle tone and shaving my legs, but he will not get me to stop eating! (Did I mention I have become more dramatic, as well? I know, hard to believe!)