The art of keeping parents happy

It is wise to work out before you go to university exactly how much your parents are likely to miss you. Some will be crying themselves to sleep every night on your old pillow. Others won't want you disturbing the person to whom they've sublet your room.

Similarly, you should understand your parents well enough to know how much detail to give in answer to the question: "Are you having a good time, then?" In most cases, "Yes, thanks" is fine. It is not necessary to tell them how exciting you find it never knowing which bed you're going to wake up in, how you were so drunk last night you can't remember why your clothes are soaking wet, and how you've discovered that drinking 10 Red Bulls allows you to go straight from a club to your 9am lecture. They will worry.

But you can moan about how tough it is finding time to socialise because you are studying so hard. They will also worry - but in a good way. They may urge you not to take your studies so seriously, to go out more and enjoy yourself. This is the green light to live it up for the rest of your university career.

Certain things will reassure them, others won't. They may like to know that you have registered with a doctor. They will not want to know that you have registered with an STD clinic.

If they call and it's after 3pm, try not to sound too sleepy. And if they ask how this term's module is going, don't say, "What's a module?"

Here are two useful sentences that will ease contact with parents. First: "I can't speak for long, the washing machine is on spin." Second: "I can't speak for long, I'm about to cook a meal with my flatmates." The latter is a particular winner, because it reassures parents about all the things they are most anxious about. It shows you've got friends, you've got somewhere to live, and, best of all, you're eating properly. Again, avoid details. "I'm about to take a pizza out of the microwave to eat with other people in the hostel, before tossing the crumbs to the rats," is less reassuring.

Do try to see your parents at least once or twice a term and keep communication channels open. After all, if they don't know what is going on in your life, how will they know when to send the cheques?