About Me

Saturday, June 17, 2017

School's out!

This summer break, grant your
children the gift of boredom

I still remember the giddy joy I felt as
I made my way home after the last day of school before the summer holidays
began. True, there was a ton of ‘holiday homework’ weighing down my knapsack,
but even that was not enough to dampen my spirits that soared sky-high as I contemplated
the month-long break that lay ahead of me.

There were four – yes, count them, four!
– whole delicious weeks in which I could do as I pleased. I could stay up late
at night, reading my favourite mystery novels. I could get up when I pleased and
have a leisurely breakfast. I could spend the entire afternoon getting up to no
good at with my neighbourhood friends. I could visit the Botanical Gardens or
the zoo (as you can probably tell, I grew up in Calcutta) and deepen my
acquaintance with the natural world. I could station myself in my favourite
lending library until I practically blended in with the furniture.

But most important of all, I would have
all the time in the world to do nothing at all: to remain absolutely idle; to
just sit around and daydream; to let my mind wander where it would; and yes, on
occasion, get utterly and thoroughly bored.

Looking back now, I realize that that was
the most precious gift of all: the opportunity to court boredom, and to learn
to cope with it.

And learn to cope with it I did.
Sometimes it was by inventing unlikely scenarios in which my future adult self
would save the world. Sometimes it was by exploring deep in the recesses of my
mother and sister’s wardrobes to play dress-up with their glamorous, grown-up
clothes. Sometimes it was by badgering my grandmother or grandfather to play
Ludo with me. And sometimes it was by press-ganging my father to watch the
latest dance moves I had learnt from the last Hindi movie I saw (no, we didn’t
call it Bollywood in those innocent days).

In retrospect, I must confess that boredom
and learning to deal with it made me a better person. It helped me develop
interpersonal skills (you have no idea what tough negotiators my grandparents
were), which came in useful in later life. It helped me discover those inner
resources lurking within me that would have remained buried forever if it
hadn’t been for those dull-as-ditchwater afternoons. Boredom taught me both to
spend time with myself (without always looking for external stimuli) even as it
helped me build up my social skills.

So much so, that I often wonder if I
would have, in fact, become a writer (of sorts) if it hadn’t been for those
enforced periods of boredom in which I had only my imagination with which to
entertain and regale myself. Somehow, I think not.

Which is why I am often troubled by the
fact that the generations that came after me seem to be raising children who
don’t quite know what to do with themselves when – and if – they are granted
any downtime. Kids of today have become so used to being ferried from tennis
lesson to maths tuition to dance classes, or even special ‘learning camps’
during the summer, that they seem to be at a complete loss when left to their
own devices. Or, more accurately, when the devices (smartphones, tablets, game
stations, and whatever else they are into these days) they rely on so
completely are denied to them.

And, in my view at least, that is a
terrible thing. The best way to help children develop their imagination or to
create any sort of inner life is to leave them on their own for a bit, without
a structured activity to participate in or an electronic scene to gaze into. It
is imperative to allow them some breathing space so that they can hear
themselves think. And more important, to leave a fallow field on which they can
plant their own imaginary seeds, without any help from the significant adults
in their lives.

There will be challenges. And yes, there
will be pushback. And there will be times when your child – used to being
overscheduled to within an inch of his/her life – comes crying to you with that
eternal complaint of all kids: “I’m bored!”

And when that happens, I would suggest
you respond the way my mother did all those decades ago. “Good,” she would say,
with quiet triumph. “Now go and find something to do.”

And you know what? I did. And I was much
better off for it.

So, this summer break, instead of booking
some insanely overpriced camp, or organizing a series of outings for your kids,
or even signing them up for endless classes, give them (and yourself) a break.
And instead of endless, organized, enforced activity, grant your children the
gift of boredom. They may complain for a day or two, but a couple of years –
decades even – down the line, they will thank you for it.