Noted Globalization advocate, flip-floppy war monger, and all around pompous blowhard know-it-all Thomas Friedman, author of The World Is Flat, has a ballin' ass house. It leaves a big carbon footprint and it's ugly as sin. But why?

Roger L. Simon proposes a theory on Friedman's buttugly house (see below): as is the case with his infamous pornstache, he's trying to impress the Saudi Royal Family - who he's inserted himself with on a number of world issues, like, uh, peace treaties - by going less with style, more with excess:

Chez Friedman seems like the most unimaginative of McMansions. Why, I wondered, would the New York Times man invest his (semi) hard-earned millions on something so dull and pompous, pretentious even? Why not hire one of those expensive avant garde architects so often trumpeted in his own paper? At least then he could come up with something that looks as if it's environmentally friendly (with solar panels on the roof, etc.), even if it is isn't . And it wouldn't be such an eyesore into the bargain. Then I realized – how could I have been so stupid? Friedman spends a lot of time romancing the Saudis. It's their Royal Family he wants to impress. What does Rem Koolhaas mean to Prince Abdullah? Not a lot, I would imagine.

And impress them, he'll need to, especially now that the self-parody of a columnist has to return moneys he's getting from speaking engagements because of the New York Times' stoopid ethics rules. Saudi Princes think little of paupers like Friedman (who makes $75K a speaking gig, and that's not when he's getting terror-pied). Meanwhile, if Friedman really wants impress the Saudi Royal Family with flashy excess, he's probably gonna have to learn a few moves, first. Observe: