"Duke Nukem Forever is one of the most infamous video games in our industry, mainly for the reason that it's been in development for longer than any other title. As with the Bermuda triangle DNF has been illusive to gamers and game journalists for the past ten years, we have seen it at trade shows and a couple leaked photos have been discovered but no one has ever put their hands on the game, for good reason. There were moments where we thought Duke Nukem may actually make an appearance on next-gen consoles, but it wasn't meant to be. 3D Realms has had it's own share of issues but the true story comes with the game that could never be released, and today we decided to look at the top 10 reasons Duke Nukem Forever was cancelled.

10. Avoiding Controversy: Let’s face it; Duke Nukem Forever would definitely have featured enough objectionable content to give most conservatives an aneurysm. Excessive violence, swearing, probably some ‘drug’ references (alcohol of course, Duke seems like a beer and whiskey guy), along with inevitable partial nudity. In Duke Nukem 3d there were points where you’d stumble upon some strippers and handing them a wad of cash got them to flash their pixilated, tassel-covered breasts at you. That managed to go mostly unavoided, but with the significant graphics upgrades, there’d be a lot more fallout at the barest hint of side boob.

9. Adolescent Humor: Duke and his wisecracks were pretty funny when many of us were in our early teens and blasting mutated pig cops while marveling at the subtle wit involved in this design choice. These days though it’d start to wear quite thin by the end. Given the state of current pop culture and the even greater fondness for slapstick/gross-out humor things might have been even worse than I imagined.

8. PSP/DS/Wii Versions: Don’t get me wrong, I love all three of these systems, but all too often developers feel that we need a separate version of the game for each. This usually ends up being a substantially neutered and trimmed down port that instead of embracing the difference in control schemes simply does its best to ape the more powerful home consoles. Given that the stories are the same as well there’s very little reason to pick up any of these sadder younger siblings other than perhaps brand loyalty.

7. An Answer: For years Duke Nukem Forever has been the will-they-won’t-they of the gaming world. While women everywhere were re-watching Friends and obsessing over Ross and Rachel’s tumultuous relationship their boyfriends and husbands were poring over the internet, many hunting for any news of the game’s status. Cancellations and delays were popular rumor fodder for gaming sites on slow news days and every screenshot was dissected for every shred of extrapolation-worthy information. But now we know, the question is solved. Some are probably upset that the metaphysical eight ball came up ‘no’, but it’s better than the ‘cannot answer now, try again later’ we’d been staring at for so long.

6. Go Forth And Program: This is probably good news for the staff as well as us. Development had been going for years on this title with the public never seeing anything even close to a rough build for the game. The most complete piece we saw was a brief trailer that was just animated footage, no actual game play. Everyone working for 3d Realms was likely frustrated with the whole process. Imagine trying to cook yourself a tasty dinner only to have someone throw out what you’d made every ten minutes and force you to start over. Pretty soon you’d be incredibly hungry and irritated with the whole process and dissatisfied with your lot in life. I can’t help but wonder if that’s what led to the death of the game. Though if the development staff hasn’t actually released a game since 1997 who knows how far behind their workers could be lagging in skills.

5. Inevitable Disappointment: The longer a creative process takes the more its impending consumers build up the dream of what it will be in their heads. Unaware of the specific challenges and issues developers are facing in the process of making a game we often assume that delays are due to the desire for perfection. Often times this isn’t the case and we go in expecting a tender, juicy filet mignon and are instead greeted by the hearty smell of a cheeseburger. Sure, it might be an excellent burger with crisp apple wood smoked bacon and aged Vermont cheddar, but it’s just not as good as the steak would have been. After more than ten years of development Duke Nukem Forever would have to be the greatest title ever produced to not fall short of expectations.

4. You Have Just Saved $60: There are some titles that no matter how excited you are about them it’s just not worth paying full price. Let your buddy shell out the cash and you’ll just borrow it, or better yet go to his place for some co-op. Yet I feel fairly confident that many would have run out and thrown down for a pre-order for DNF, if only because waiting any longer would be torturous after hovering in anticipatory limbo for so long. So now you can pat yourself on the back for saving the money to put towards something else.

3. No Explaining To Younger Gamers: It’s amazing how having to explain a cultural icon from your youth to someone a mere decade younger can make you feel the weight of every year on your shoulders. Duke Nukem’s original adventure dates back to 1991, the days of ripped-up jeans and shareware games. Since then he’s had three more outings, with most of his ‘games’ after that being ports of Duke Nukem 3d. So for most of the kids out there he’s a relic of the past, a muscle-bound hieroglyph whose origins and nature are puzzling.

2. He’s Not That Great A Character: Let’s face it, Duke Nukem is a dinosaur, a leftover relic from the days when good writing was only for puzzle games and some RPGs. These days there are far more compelling heroes with real stories behind them. It’s easy to see the influence of Duke Nukem in characters like Nathan Drake and Master Chief, but Duke was simply a cardboard cut-out action hero stereotype, all one liners, biceps and sunglasses. Most action games are striving to make players connect in some manner with their hero/antihero by establishing more motivations than simple desire to kick ass and chew gum. Good gameplay is still the most crucial element of a quality shooter, but nowadays we want a story with our action. Maybe just a side order, but it’s still necessary.

1. No Waiting For The Sequel: Let’s face it, had this game made it onto the shelves it’d likely have moved enough copies to warrant a sequel. But how long would that take? Development for DNF started before the year two thousand and it took more than ten years before they gave up. Given that as a general matter of course game development is taking longer and longer as more features and better graphics become standard it’s impossible to guess how long it’d be before a second chapter in the post-millennial adventures of Duke Nukem came to fruition."