man: hey hun! i gt you balloons and flowers
woman: aww, that's so nice of you!
man: i just figured that i should get them ahead of time for if i say something stupid, like calling you fat or something
woman: what!? you think i look fat?
woman: you know how sensitive i am about that!
*awkward pause*
man: hey, look at that! i got you a puppy too!