I was listening to a discussion about this on the radio the other day.
A woman called in and said she dated a man for 3 yrs, he proposed and
they have been living together and engaged for over 2 years. Every time
she brings up wedding planning he becomes elusive and difficult. Her
question was, "How long is too long to be engaged?"

I think she
was asking that question a 2 years too late. I seriously weep for my generation!
The entire point of becoming engaged is to formally announce and plan a
wedding. For the life of me, I don't understand how a woman winds up
being someone's fiance for years.

Thoughts?

I know women who are 30+ and NEVERRRRR been on a real date with a guy.

that is sad.

This is a couple of my friends. Then when I tell them about a guy I'm dating they say, "you always get the good ones." Its called having standards, smh. I meet losers all the time, I just don't give them a chance.

Engagement is an intent to marry. You're seriously making up the immediate future part bc engagements used to be very lengthy.

I'm
not making up anything. At the end of the day, people are speaking on
their perspective. In my culture engagement of over a year is
impossible. Your family, his, and everyone who knows you would just
assume the wedding isn't going to happen. I've never had a family
member or friend engaged for longer than 1 yr aside from one person who
had to postpone their plans due to a death in the family. Its unheard
of.

My culture aside, for most of U.S. history, the etiquette has
been to marry within a year. Even now, many people marry within that
time frame, so I don't see what's "made up" about that.

That whole year and a day thing started with the Wiccans. The Chinese typically were 2 years and Catholics about 6 months.

For those in arranged marriages like in India. You can be engaged for years until you were a certain age then you would meet and marry and go through the ceremony.

They are not engaged. They are betrothed to each other, sometimes since childhood. That's totally different from a man making a public declaration of his intent to marry you and not having any plans to actually do it 5 years down the line.

Decorum really alludes many young people nowadays. I think what I've
gotten from this thread is that some people see a marriage proposal as a
romantic gesture. That's just not the case. Its not a "I would like
to marry you some day." A proposal is a big deal. Its a formal
declaration of your intent to marry in the immediate future. If both
people are not ready for that, then they should stick to more informal
gestures like romantic gifts.

EXACTLY.

i seems a lot of women only want to be called wifey rather than having a marriage license.

When people actually get the proposal they really understand it.......until then its a case of if it was me but it aint you and daydreaming is easy

No shade......

I understand but I think a lot of women never set expectations for their relationships. there are women out there who seriously believe they will not ever get married so when a guy moves in...they think that's as good as it gets.

Couples that really want to get married, do it. Whether its a court house wedding with a fancy ceremony/destination wedding later...either way, they make it official.

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