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Beautifully said, thank you so much for sharing. I heartily agree with you that the stigma attached to mental illness must be changed. Too many suffer in silence and make their best efforts to keep it hidden.

Susie,
Thanks for sharing this today. The words you say are so true and so sad. I hope that even one person who reads this will get help for themselves or their child. It can be so helpful to have someone to talk to who is objective and can work through issues with you. The poem you shared yesterday was beautiful. I hope that you and the kids have wonderful day and can make some happy memories in honor of your brother. Hugs!

Thank you for sharing this. I think you are exactly right that people with mental illness don’t get the support they need. They need support from friends, family, and our medical system. I have a friend refusing treatment now and feel like all I can do is be a good friend to her and keep encouraging her to get treatment. A note to others: Please be good to your friends and family who have these problems and take gentle care of yourself if you do. There is help available if you’re willing to accept it.

you are very brave and I love you. You are absolutely right. That is the core of this problem and we need to make it easier for people to get help. I have an anxiety disorder and I was told to “just deal with it” at first.

Working in the mental health field specifically with the homeless population who have a diagnosis, I see all the stigma attached to my clients on a daily basis. You are so right about the awfulness of the stigma. It’s so unfair. Trying every day to reduce stigma, increase awareness, and provide better care! Thanks for your courage and openness.

Susie, you have always been funny, but you also have always been HONEST – this blog is absolute proof of that!
Good for you to share this!
I think you have helped many, many people today. Great job, wonderful courage!

I grew up in a home with a father who suffered from depression and now what would be considered a personality disoder. My father has since passed, and will have been gone now for 10 years. I left an abusive relationship, and took my two children with me.This is one of my worst fears for my children, in a place that we think they should be safe to learn and grow in. my ex-husband is manic and I believe he suffers from other mental health issues that he and his family will not address. I have been very shaken by this sensless act of violence. And I agree, we need to stop “sweeping things under the rug” and labeling people with mental health issues. And help them with their illness, so that tradegies such as this and countless others will not happen. Thank you for your touching response to a really brutal loss of young life.

Susie, yes no matter what any type of CNS damage to the brain becomes a stigma. My primary illness caused secondary damage to the CNS and ANS which lead to damage of the executive motor controls, temporal lobe and more. I have had the genetic disorder all my life but it was not until age 49 that I was tagged with my genetic illness including secondary organic depression (cannot be cured), personality disorder (organic and cannot be cured), and also mild bipolar which is from an organic source and cannot be cured either.

I take medications to control symptoms, will have to do so until I die. At one point I was more angry and vicious. But treating my primary disease in the liver: Ornithine Transcarbamylase Deficiency which causes excess ammonia that is a neurotoxin and causes a lot of damage over 49 years. Sadly I never knew how different I was because I was born this way, until they gave me a med for seizures and anxiety. Withing 48 hours I felt an internal calmness I had never felt before. I talked to my husband crying because I thought about all I missed in my 49 years because of all the misdiagnoses.

I was one doctors said was hypochondriac or phsychosomatic. So I went to psychiatrists and they said it was not mental but a physical disease but they did not know what. 20 years later I discovered the genetic disease that was what wreaked havoc. Sadly I can be treated but never cured.

Good for you for speaking out, my friend! How liberating! I have taken zoloft nearly my entire life for my anxiety. It used to be a struggle, and I could hardly even bear to go to the grocery store… but then I realized that there was nothing I could do about it. I have a chemical imbalance in my brain, I need to take medicine for it, and move on. It’s okay!

I’m sorry to hear about your baby brother. So tragic. I’m glad you’re able to focus on all of the good things he brought to the world in his three years.

Very well said Susie! I am proud to be your friend. You are an inspiration. I also think to add to the mental illness issue everyone should stop and think before they make fun of someone. Bullying is also a big issue today and one that should stop. This world should except everyone for who they are and embrace each other with loving arms. Ignoring Mental illness and bullying are both a big reason why things like this happen. God Bless you! XO

I would love to talk to you about BPD. I have always thought that I was just on the border of having a personality. j/k/

The one thing that I have learned is that you CANNOT be open about your situation, because of the differing acceptance levels of the people who know. I have shared with people who then began to treat me differently, simply because they knew that I had a “problem”. I have had so many isssues with work and other people that I feel like I am not even worth bothering with. I have had 20 years of treatment and medication, but I still do not feel “right” and I don’t see being able to talk about it without fear in my lifetime.

Susie,
Thank you for your courage to share. I hope it will help others to get the help they need and deserve for themselves or children.
I hope you and the kids were able to make beautiful memories today in honor of your brother.

I find this rather refreshing. My concern about the outcome of this will be legislation and gun control. Not that these methods aren’t good or noble, but rather that they have unintended consequences.

Ultimately, providing support to people is what society is all about. Mental illness is an issue, and likely the cause. Unfortunately, it goes deeper than that.

Observing situations like this (principally Columbine, University of Arizona school of nursing shootings, and the Dark Knight shootings), it seems that most of the people who commit these crimes lack problem solving skills. They don’t know how to deal with the stress and pressure of what life or society is expecting of them.

This in ability to deal with problems comes from bad parenting. Parents love their children beyond measure, and rightfully so. However, many take this love as meaning that they should do everything to make their children happy. The sad truth is that this causes their children to grow up with an unrealistic view of life, and a lack of skills to deal with it.

It is difficult for parents to hear that sometimes, they have to make life difficult for their children. That is because this will make their children unhappy sometimes. But if you don’t, children will never grow up to be responsible adults because they were never afforded the opportunity when they were children.

Thank you. I lost my sister a few years ago to suicide. She was arrested at her firm when she didn’t understand why she was being let go. The put her in forensic psyche, where she received her diagnosis, but refused to accept any medication. A few weeks later they released her, and a few weeks after that (after receiving a “no trespassing” order signed by a dozen or so attorneys at her firm) she took her own life. We need to start showing more compassion for those afflicted with mental illness, and get them the help they need, instead of kicking them to the curb. I couldn’t read your post without crying. And I am so sorry you lost your brother when he was just a little boy.

I love your blog i read it everyday and for the past few days I have been trying to get the courage to write on this post I cried the 1st time i read this post. When my husband was deployed he came back with in a month he was diagnosed with deep depression . we had only been married for about a year and he was gone for most of it .It was the biggest struggle for to see the person I love not want to live . I lost most my friends for staying with him it seemed like no one understood.I could never think of leaving someone sick with cancer . I really wish people would treat it the way they treat caner .Its been a few years and we are very happy and he is finally smiling again he has ups and down and our marriage is stronger.

Thank you so much for writing this, as it needs to be said over and over. My kids both have ADHD. Intellectually, I know that I’m not a failure and I (and they) shouldn’t have anything be embarrassed about. But man is it hard to remember that.

i just stumbled upon your blog….I am a psych nurse and what you said was wonderful.. There indeed is too much stigma attached to mental illness and if you have one it is no more shameful than having cancer for example. It is a disease. A disease of the brain. period.
Bravo for sharing.

Well said. My husband and I were talking shortly before this happened and my exact words were “it is easier for someone with a mental illnes in this country to get a gun than to get treatment for their illness.” I live in northern Michigan and in recent years there has been huge cuts to mental healthcare and hospitals. I believe now there are only 5 mental hospitals in the whole state and it is incredibly difficult to get into see a therapist. I think there is just a huge shortage of mental health professionals and severe lack of funds.

20 years ago I graduated high school. 2 friends didn’t. Both had severe cases of mental illness. One took his own life and one took his parent’s lives. Sure there were signs but nothing that would could be understood by peers – specially teenagers. I wish there was a way to have known and to have helped.