This harsh winter has much of the country shivering like a stripper performing in a poorly insulated Siberian frat house. As a result of this deep freeze, you may have heard the concept of “global warming” mocked via sarcastic comments from many average Americans.

In spite of the great national cryogenic experiment of ’09 and the global warming mockery thereof, the global warming peddlers continue on with their confiscatory agenda, undaunted, and with the confidence that only people who will be completely unaccountable for the consequences of their actions can have.

Just last week, Rep. Henry Waxman, D-Calif., opened the new Congress’ first hearings on the “threats from global warming.” Waxman, who himself has been so ravaged by global warming that he now looks like something straight from one of JRR Tolkien’s nightmares, has a stated goal of passing climate legislation out of his committee before Memorial Day – around the same time you’ll be scraping the final freezer burn off your shorts.

It occurred to me not long ago that somebody like Waxman must have invented the “wind chill” temperature. There’s the actual temperature – but the “wind chill” is what it feels like. Liberals have “wind chilled” the nation with so much “feels like” that too few people are capable of recognizing “actual” anymore.

That aside, trying to freak people out about global warming right now is like going up to somebody who hasn’t eaten in three days and trying to frighten him with a pizza. On the surface, it would seem that pushing global warming on frigid Americans is incompetent salesmanship, but to believe this would be making the error of studying socialist intentions under a free market microscope.

The problem is that Henry Waxman is in government. Government doesn’t live by the same sales rules that the private sector businessperson must live under. If you won’t buy the product government’s peddling, it can make you buy it, no matter when, why, how, where or what the temperature is. This is why Congress can’t understand why businesses fail. Heck, Congress fails every single day, and it gets rewarded for it. So what’s the problem, Detroit?

Of course, “global warming” isn’t a “product” per se – it’s an abstract tool – an excuse to steal from you under the guise of it being for your own good. Maybe the thinking of pushing global warming legislation when a good portion of the country is being treated for hypothermia is this: Americans won’t feel their back pockets being picked when their rear ends are numb.

The “proof” of global warming isn’t found in the temperature, as they not so subtly imply. The proof is our very existence. This is why NASA was quick to report that high methane levels found on Mars probably means there’s life there. It has to. Going off and finding high levels of greenhouse gases on uninhabited planets would put a silver bullet through assumptions that global warming on Earth must be caused by human activities creating those same gases. Most importantly though, the discovery of greenhouse gases on uninhabited planets could be a detriment to the continued implementation of the greatest money-grabbing hoax in history – not to mention harmful to NASA’s global warming research budget.

The Mars greenhouse gas levels somewhat mirror the Paleocene-Eocene Thermal Maximum here on Earth 55 million years ago – a global warming period that offers the best evidence that horses once drove SUVs, whales operated coal plants, primates used chlorofluorocarbon-laced aerosol hairspray and dairy cattle broke wind with reckless abandon.

How life made it through that warming period without Al Gore and Henry Waxman – two men who want us to believe that the dinosaurs were killed off because of untaxed meteors – is beyond me.