16. The Rev. Merriwether
spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.

17. During the absence of our minister,
we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon from Rev J.F.
Stubbs.

18. The concert held in
Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the
minister's daughter, who laboured the whole evening at the piano, which as
usual fell upon her.

19.
Twenty-two members were present at the church meeting held at the home of
Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Smith
sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.

20. While the Minister
is on holiday, massages can be given to the
church secretary

21. The Minister would
appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their
electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

22. This being Easter Sunday,
we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

23. Thursday at 5:00 pm there
will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little
mothers, please see the minister.

24. Irving Benson and Jessie
Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that
began in their school days.

25. The ladies of the church
have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church
basement Friday.

26. Announcement in the
church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING Conference: "The
cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals."

27. The church will host an
evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.

28. This evening at 7 P.M.
there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a
blanket and come prepared to sin.

29. "Ladies, don't
forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth
keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."

..
ooo0O0ooo...

A one pound note met a twenty pound note in the
cash
register of a local grocery store. "Hey, where have you been? -I haven't seen you around here much."

The twenty answered, "I've been hanging
out at the casinos,
went on a cruise ship and did the rounds for a few weeks. I just got
back to the UK recently, went to a couple of football matches,
round shopping centres, that kind of stuff. How about you?"

The one pound note said, "You know, same
old stuff
- church,church, church..."

.ooo0O0ooo...

One Sunday morning, a
minister announced to his congregation:

"My good people,
I have here in my hands three sermons.....

a £500 sermon that lasts five minutes,
a £200 sermon that lasts fifteen minutes,
and a £100 sermon that lasts a full hour....

Now we'll take the collection."

...ooo0O0ooo...

TEAMWORK...
..means never having to take all the blame yourself !!

.ooo0O0ooo...

The minister was wired for
sound with a lapel mike, and as he
preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking
the mike cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting
wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it
again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the
third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he
gets loose, will he hurt us?"

ooo0O0ooo..

A Sunday school teacher asked
her little children as they
were on the way to church service, "And why is it
necessary
to be quiet in church?"

One bright little girl replied,
"Because people are sleeping."

ooo0O0ooo

A minister told his
congregation, "Next week I plan to
preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand
my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17. "

The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon,
the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know
how many had read Mark 17.Every hand went up.
The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only 16 chapters...

I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."

ooo0O0ooo

When you do
a good deed,
get a receipt,(in case Heaven is like
the Inland Revenue !)

ooo0O0ooo

What do you get when you cross a
dyslexic agnostic with an insomniac?

............Someone who lies awake
at night wondering whether there is a Dog !

ooo0O0ooo

Three Ministers were having lunch.
One
said "You know, since summer started I've been having trouble with bats
in my loft at church.
I've tried everything--noise,
spray, cats - nothing seems to scare them away.

Another said "Yes, me too. I've got hundreds living in my
belfry and in the attic. I've even had the place
fumigated and they won't go away.

The third said, "I baptized all mine and made them members of the
church... Haven't seen one back since!"

oo0O0ooo

Now that the metric system is in
wide use all over the world, we can perhaps see why America have not adopted it:

A miss is as good as 1.6 kilometres.
Put your best 0.3 of a metre forward.
Spare the 5.03 metres and spoil the child.
28 grams of prevention is worth 453 grams of cure.
Give a man 2.5 centimeters and he'll take 1.6 kilometers.
Peter Piper picked 8.8 litres of pickled peppers.

oo0O0ooo

The young couple invited their
minister for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the
meal, the minister asked their son what they were having.

"Goat," the little boy replied.

"Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth, "Are you sure
about that?"

"Yep," said the youngster. "I heard Dad say to Mum 'Might as
well have the old goat for dinner today as any other day.'"

oo0O0ooo

A
preacher, who was "humor impaired," attended a conference
to help encourage and better equip pastors for their ministry.

Among the speakers were many well known and dynamic speakers.
One such boldly approached the pulpit and, gathering the
entire crowd's attention, said, "The best years of my life
were spent in the arms of a woman that wasn't my wife!" The
crowd was shocked! He followed up by saying, "And that woman
was my mother!" - The crowd burst into laughter and delivered
the rest of his talk, which went over quite well.

The next week, our pastor decided he'd give this humor thing
a try, and use that joke in his sermon. As he approached the
pulpit that Sunday, he tried to rehearse the joke in his head.
It suddenly seemed a bit foggy to him.

Getting to the microphone he said loudly, "The greatest years
of my life were spent in the arms of a woman that was not my
wife!" The congregation inhaled in surprise. After standing
there for almost 10 seconds in the stunned silence, trying to
recall the second half of the joke, the pastor finally blurted
out, "...and I can't remember who she was!"

oo0O0ooo

A
student studying to be a minister was so nervous at her first church
service, his voice went hoarse and none of the congregation could hear a
word she said. Before her second appearance in the pulpit, she asked the
current moderator of the church how she could relax. The moderator said,
"Next Sunday, it may Help if you put a little vodka in the glass kept
in the pulpit. After just a few sips, your voice will loosen up and
everything will be fine."

The
next Sunday the student put the idea to the text and found the words just
flowed as the sermon proceeded. She felt elated. Returning to the vestry,
she found a letter from the moderator which read:

A
nice try, but next time...

sip rather than gulp.

There are 10 only commandments, not 12

There are 12 disciples, not just 10

Don't refer to the cross as the "Big T"

We don't normally use the grace "Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub.
Yeah God!" before our meals

We do not refer to Our
Saviour, Jesus and His disciples as "J.C. and
the Boys"

David killed Goliath; he did not "kick the
sh** out of him."

We never call The Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost "Big Daddy,
Junior, and the Spook."

The Virgin Mary, is not called "Mary with the Cherry."

Last, but not least, next Saturday there will be a Taffy-pulling contest at
St. Peter's, not a Peter-pulling contest at St.Taffy's.

oo0O0ooo

Ten
things you never hear in church..............

Can
I sit in the front pew this week.

Amazing
sermon! I never even noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time.

Personally
I find telling others about my faith much more enjoyable than golf.

I've
decided to give our church an extra £20 a week rather than go on
holiday this year.

I
volunteer to be the permanent Sunday School leader.

Forget
the minimum stipend, let's pay our minister so he can live like we do.

I
love it when we sing hymns I've never heard before!

Since
we're all here, let's start the service early.

Minister,
have a month off. Go to that training course in Hawiai. We'll pay.

Giving
my money to God is so easy. I love sliding my fair share into the plate
on Sunday mornings

On
their way to church to get married, a couple had a fatal car accident.

The
couple found themselves sitting outside Heaven's Gate waiting on St.
Peter to do an intake. While waiting, they wondered if they could possibly
get married in Heaven.

St.
Peter finally showed up and they asked him. St. Peter said, "I don't
know, this is the first time anyone has asked.

"Let
me go find out." and he left. The couple sat and waited for an
answer...for a couple of months...and they began to wonder if they really
should get married in Heaven, what
with the eternal aspect of it all.

"What
if it doesn't work?" they wondered, "Are we stuck together
forever?"

St.
Peter returned after yet another month, looking somewhat bedraggled.
"Yes," he informed the couple, "you can get married in
Heaven."

"Great,"
said the couple, "but what if things don't work out? Could
we also get a divorce in Heaven?"

St.
Peter, red-faced, slammed his clipboard onto the ground.

"What's
wrong?", asked the frightened couple.

"COME
ON!" St. Peter shouted,

"It
took me three months to find a minister up here! Do
you have any idea how long it will take me to find a lawyer?"

oo0O0oo

The
following Bible statements were written by children - including their own
spelling!,

"In
the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating
the world, so he took the Sabbath off.

Adam
and Eve were created from an apple tree.

Noah's
wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals come
on to in pears

The
Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with
the unsympathetic Genitals

Samson
was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah

Samson
slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.

The
Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up on
Mount Cyanide to get the ten amendments

Lot's
wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.

The
first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple. The seventh
commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery

Moses
led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread
which is bread without any ingredients.

Then
Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

The
greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still
and he obeyed him.

David
was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finklesteins,
a race of people who lived in Biblical times.

Solomon,
one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

When
Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta

When
the three wise guys from the eastside arrived, they found Jesus in the
manager.

Jesus
was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.

St.John,
the blacksmith, dumped water on his head.

Jesus
enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they
do one to you.

He
also explained, "a man doth not live by sweat alone."

It
was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the
tombstone off the entrance.

The
people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.

The
epistles were the wives of the apostlles.

One
of the opossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.

St.
Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is
another name for marriage

A
Christian should have only one spouse. This is called monotony".
!!!!

oo0O0oo

Dear
Technical Support,

Last
year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticedthat
the new program began making unexpected changes to the accountingsoftware,
severely limiting access to wardrobe, flower, and jewelleryapplications
that operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.No mentionof
this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

This
is a very common problem women complain about, but it is mostlydue
to a primary misconception.Many
people upgrade from Boyfriend5.0
to Husband 1.0 with no idea that Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an ENTERTAINMENT
package.

However,
Husband 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and was designed by itscreator
to run as few applications as possible.Further, you cannotpurge
Husband 1.0 and return to Boyfriend 5.0, because Husband 1.0 isnot
designed to do this.Hidden
operating files within your systemwould
cause Boyfriend 5.0 to emulate Husband 1.0, so nothing isgained.

It
is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the programme files fromthe
system, once installed.Any new
programme files can only beinstalled
once per year, as Husband 1.0 has severely limited memory.

Error
messages are common, and a normal part of Husband 1.0.

In
desperation to play some of their "old time" favorite
applications,or
to get new applications to work, some women have tried to installBoyfriend
6.0, or Husband 2.0.However,
these women end up with more problems than encountered with Husband 1.0.Look in your manual under"Warnings:
Divorce/Child Support".You
will notice that this programmeruns
very poorly, and comes bundled with Heartbreak 1.3. I recommendyou
keep Husband 1.0 and just learn the quirks of this strange and illogical
system.

Having
Husband 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read theentire
section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs).This is awonderful
feature of Husband 1.0, secretly installed by the parent company as an
integral part of the operating system.Husband 1.0 mustassume
ALL responsibility for ALL faults and problems, regardless of root cause. To
activate this great feature, enter the command "C:\I THOUGHT YOU LOVED
ME". Sometimes Tears 6.2 must be run simultaneouslywhile
entering the command. Husband 1.0 should then run theapplications
Apologize 12.3 and Flowers/Chocolates 7.8.

TECH
TIP!Avoid excessive use of
this feature.Overuse can
createadditional
and more serious GPFs, and ultimately YOU may have to givea
C:\I APOLOGISE command before the system will return to normaloperations.
Overuse can also cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, or worse
yet, to Beer 6.0.Beer 6.0 is a
very badprogramme
that causes Husband 1.0 to create FatBelly files andSnoringLoudly
wave files that are very hard to delete.

Just
remember!The system will run
smoothly, and take the blame forall
GPFs, but because of this fine feature, it can only intermittentlyrun
all applications Boyfriend 5.0 ran.Husband
1.0 is a greatprogram,
but it does have limited memory and cannot learn newapplications
quickly.

Consider
buying additional software to improve performance.Ipersonally
recommend HotFood 3.0, Lingerie 5.3, and Patience 10.1.Used
in conjunction, these utilities can really help keep Husband 1.0running
smoothly. After several years of use, Husband 1.0 will becomefamiliar
and you will find many valuable embedded features such asFixBrokenThings
2.1, Snuggling 4.2, and BestFriend 7.6.

A
final word of caution!do NOT,
under any circumstances, installMotherInLaw
1.0.This is not a supported
application, and will causeselective
shutdown of the operating system.Husband
1.0 will run onlyFishing
9.4 and Hunting 5.2 until MotherInLaw 1.0 is uninstalled.

I
hope these notes have helped.Thank
you for choosing to installHusband
1.0, and we here at Tech Support wish you the best of luck incoming years. We trust you will learn to fully enjoy
this product!

oo0O0oo

Childrens Letters to .......SANTA

Dear Santa Claus,
I need toys for this year and the next year and the next year.
- I can't write every year
Love Max

Dear Santa,
You don't have to give me anything for Christmas,
Just leave something for all the other days,
Love George

Dear Santa,
I love you. If you don't leave me anything for Christmas I won't cry.
- I am a big boy.
Love Steve
P.S. But I will be very sad.

Dear Santa
I want one of everything you got!
Morris

Dear Santa,
My grandmother says to my brother and me that the best Xmas present is good
health.
I have good health already so I would like a doll instead.
Love Gertrude.

Dear Santa Claus
My name is Robert. I am 6 years old.
I want a rifle, a pistol, a machine gun, a hand grenade, dynamite, and tear gas.
I am planning a surprise for my big brother
Your Friend, Robert

Dear Santa Claus,
I would like to get on your good boy list.
I have been on plenty of bad boy lists already
Your friend, Horace

Hi Santa
Last year you didn't leave me anything so good.
The year before last year you didn't leave me anything so good.
This is your last chance
Your friend, Alfred

Dear Santa
I would like to have a dog, a cat, a rabbit, a pet monkey, a snake and a lion
for Christmas.
My mother doesn't know about this letter<
Your Pal, Eugene

Children's Letters to GOD

Dear God
Remember when the snow was deep there was no school?
Can we have it again?
Guy

Dear God
Please send me a pony, I never asked for anything before - you can look it up
Bruce

Dear God
O.K. I kept my half of the deal,
Where's the bike?
Bert

Dear God
How come you didn't invent any new animals lately?
We still have just all the old ones
Johnny

Dear God<
I wished on a star two times , but nothing happened.
Now what?
Anna

Dear God,
That fairy you sent left 20p for my tooth and 50p for my brother's.
So you still owe me 30p
Peter

Dear God,
If you don't take the baby back - I will not clean up my room
Joy

Dear God
Christmas should be earlier because kids can only be good for so long
Beth

Dear God
We got a lot of Religion in our house . So don't worry about us.
Teddy

Dear God
Is Mother nature in your family?
Linda

Dear God
I am adopted . Is that as good as being real?
Paul

Dear God
If you don't want people to say bad words - why did you invent them?
Eugene

Dear God
My teacher says the North Pole is not really at the Top.
Did you make any other mistakes?
Herbie

Dear God
Count me in!
Herbie

Children on .......Love

I think you can fall in love if you have your
picture taken in front of the church
Eric age 5

You have to love your baby brother otherwise
he gets wind
Alice age 4

Sex is part of love, but not a very good part
Joanna age 6

If you eat sweets in church the minister tells
Jesus
Robert aged 5

Mummy went away even though I loved her
Michael aged 6

My mother says she is cold and then makes me
put on a coat
Colin age 7

When I am at school my mummy has fun
Stephen age 5

You have to love your own baby because
everyone else finds them a nuisance
Patrick aged 8

For English, Press 1.
For Spanish, press 2.
For all other languages, press 0.

Please select one of the following options:

Press 1 for Requests.Press 2 for Thanksgiving.Press 3 for Complaints.Press 4 for all other inquiries.

I am sorry; all of our angels and saints are busy helping other sinners right now. However,
your prayer is important to us, and we willanswer it in the order it was received. Please stay on the line.

If you would like to speak
to:

God, press 1.Jesus, press 2.Holy Spirit, press 3.

If you would like to hear King David sing a Psalm while you areholding, press 4.

To find a loved one that has been assigned to Heaven, press 5, then
enter his or her national insurance number, followed by the "hash"
sign. (If you receive a negative response, please hang up and try area code666).

For reservations at Heaven, please enter J-O-H-N, followed by the numbers
3-1-6.

For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of the
earth, life on other planets, and where Noah's Ark is, please wait until you
arrive.

Our computers show that you have already prayed today.Please hang up and try again tomorrow.

The office is now closed for the weekend to observe a religiousholiday.Please pray again
on Monday after 9:30 am.

If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, pleasecontact your local minister.

Thank you, and have a heavenly day.

oo0O0oo

Writing Techniques:

** Avoid alliteration. Always.
** Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
** Avoid clichés like the plague. (They're old hat.)
** Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
** Contractions aren't necessary.
** Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
** One should never generalize.
** Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
** Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly
superfluous.
** Be more or less specific.
** One-word sentences? Eliminate.
** Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
** Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
** Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
** Who needs rhetorical questions?
** Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

oo0O0oo

How
many choir members does it take to change a light bulb?

Charismatics:
Only one. Hands already in the air.

Roman
Catholics: None. They use candles.

Pentecostals:
Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of
darkness.

Presbyterians:
None. God has predestined when the lights will be on and off.

Episcopalians:
Eight. One to call the electrician, and seven to say how much they liked the
old one better.

Mormons:
Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

Unitarians:
"We choose not to make a statement either in favour of or against the
need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that
light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or
compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your light
bulb, and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in
which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including
incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are
equally valid paths to luminescence."

Baptists:
At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and two or three committees to
approve the change. Oh, and also one to provide a casserole.

Methodists:
(see Baptists)

Lutherans:
None. Lutherans don't believe in change.

oo0O0oo

"Ode
to the Spell Checker!"

Eye
halve a spelling checker
It
came with my pea sea
It
plainly marcs four my revue
Miss
steaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye
strike a key and type a word
And
weight four it two say
Weather
eye am wrong oar write
It
shows me strait a weigh.
As
soon as a mist ache is maid
It
nose bee fore two long
And
eye can put the error rite
Its
rare lea ever wrong.
Eye
have run this poem threw it
I
am shore your pleased two no
Its
letter perfect awl the weigh
My
checker tolled me sew.

oo0O0oo

It's
October, and an Indian chief thinks it's going to be a coldwinter.
So he instructs his tribe to collect firewood. Todouble-check
his prediction, the chief calls the National Weather Service and asks a
meteorologist if the winter is goingto
be a cold one.

The
man responds, "According to our indicators, we think itmight."

So
the chief tells his people to find extra wood, just in case.

A
week later he calls the National Weather Service again, andthey
confirm that a harsh winter is headed their way.

The
chief orders all of his people to scavenge every scrap ofwood
they can. Two weeks later he calls the National Weather Service again and
asks, "Are you absolutely sure this winter isgoing
to be very cold?"

"Absolutely,"
the man replies. "The Indians are collecting woodlike crazy."

oo0O0oo

The
minister, looking over his large congregation on Easter morning, startled
them with this announcement: "My friends, realizing that I will not see
many of you until next Easter, may I take this opportunity to wish all of
you a merry Christmas and a happy New
Year!"

oo0O0oo

Delivering
his speech at the opening banquet of The General Assembly, the visiting
minister told several anecdotes he expected to repeat at a service the next
day.

Because
he wanted to use the jokes again, he requested that the reporters omit them
from any accounts they might turn in to their newspapers. A cub reporter, in
commenting on the speech, ended his piece with the following, "The
minister told a number of stories that cannot be printed here."

oo0O0oo

Atheism
is a non-prophet organization.

oo0O0oo

BEST
THINGS TO SAY IF YOU GET CAUGHT SLEEPING AT YOUR DESK

15.
"They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen."
14. "This
is just a 15 minute power nap like they raved aboutin the last management course you sent me
to."
13. "Whew! Guess I left the lid off the liquid paper."
12. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the missionstatement and envisioning a new
paradigm!"
11. "This is one of the seven habits of highly effectivepeople!"
10. "I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance." 9. "Actually doing a "Stress Level Elimination
Exercise Plan"(SLEEP) I learned at the last mandatory
seminar you mademe attend."
8. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relievework-related stress. Are you discriminatory towards
peoplewho practice Yoga?"
7. "Darn, Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out asolution to our biggest problem."
6. "The coffee machine is broke ..."
5. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot."
4. "Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wearoff!"
3. "Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of theworkaholic!"
2. "Wasn't sleeping.Was
trying to pick up my contact lenswithout
using my hands." And
the #1 best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk: 1. "AMEN"

oo0O0oo

The
factory of the future will have two employees, a man and a dog. The man will
be there to feed the dog and the dog is there to keep the man from touching
the computers.

oo0O0oo

Things
You Would Never Know Without The Movies

1) During all police investigations it will be necessary to
visit a strip club at least
once.

2)
If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.

3)
All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit
level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

4)
All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.

5)
It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone inthe control tower to talk you down.

6)
Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.

7)
The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No-one
will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other
part of the building you want without difficulty.

8)
If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition even if
you haven't been carrying any before now.

9)
You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back
home.

10)
Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it willnot
be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.

oo0O0oo

Far away in the tropical waters of the
Caribbean, two prawns were swimming
around in the sea - one called Justin and the other called Christian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and
threatened by sharks that patrolled the area.

Finally one day Justin said to Christian,
"I'm bored and frustrated at being a prawn, I wish I was a shark, then
I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten..."

As Justin had his mind firmly on
becoming a predator, a mysterious cod appears and says, "Your wish is
granted", and lo and behold, Justin turned
into a shark. Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being
eaten by his old mate.

Time went on (as it invariably does...) and
Justin found himself becoming bored and
lonely as a shark. All his old mates simply swam away whenever
he came close to them. Justin didn't realise that his new menacing
appearance was the cause of his sad
plight.

While out swimming alone one day he sees the
mysterious cod again and can't believe
his luck. Justin figured that the fish could change him back into
a prawn. He begs the cod to change him back so, lo and behold, he is turned
back into prawn.

With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes,
Justin swam back to his friends and
bought them all a cocktail. (The punch line does not involve a prawn
cocktail - it's much worse) !

Looking around the gathering at the reef, he
searched for his old pal. "Where's Christian?" he asked.
"He's at home, distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy
and
became a shark", came the reply.

Eager to put things right again and end the
mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian's house. As he opened
the coral gate the memories came flooding back.

He banged on the door and shouted, "It's
me, Justin, your old friend, come out and
see me again."

Christian replied "No way man, you'll
eat me. You're a shark, the enemy and I'll not be tricked. "