The Problem with Happiness

Asked what is the fundamental objective of life, the vast majority of people answer quickly and definitively- happiness. Their lives are organized around trying to be happy. Sounds good, right? Sounds even better when you read about the scientific benefits linked to happiness.Compared to less happy people...

Happy people have stronger, more intimate friendships.Happy people are more likely to be in satisfying romantic relationships.Happy people have better immunological functioning. Stab a happy person with an intravenous needle containing an infectious virus (if thats the type of person you are) and they are less likely to get sick.Happy people sleep better.Happy people are more creative.Happy people spend more time helping other people (altruism, generosity).Happy people are viewed positively by other people whether it is likability, social skills, intelligence, physical attractiveness, confidence, or samurai swordsmanship. Happy people extract more pleasure and meaning when working, socializing, or playing.

These findings are from cross-sectional, experimental, observational, longitudinal and experience-sampling studies. Thus, we can be confident that the findings are not flukes. And yes, many of these relationships go both ways. For instance, the quantity and quality of sleep affects our happiness and loneliness sucks the marrow out of living. But for now, lets just focus on a central point. Happiness is not just a sign that things are going well, the experience of happiness helps produce positive outcomes.

But there is a not-so-hidden problem. The United States is obsessed with happiness (same goes for a number of other countries in the world). There are cultural pressures to be happy. Go on amazon.com and look at how many books have happiness in the title. Go on google and plug in "happiness coaching." Look at how many people are waiting by their phone for you to cough up cash to learn to be happier. There are even university degrees that can teach you to teach people to be happier (for only $40,000+ per year)! (Note: there is more money to be made training trainers than being a happiness trainer). Has anyone considered what this pressure to be happy does to people?

Thankfully, a few scientists started to study this phenomena. What they found is that as people place more importance on being happy, they become more unhappy and depressed. The pressure to be happy makes people less happy. Organizing your life around trying to become happier, making happiness the primary objective of life, gets in the way of actually becoming happy.

In one study, people were asked a number of questions about how much they value happiness and how much they believe it is important to work toward being happy. When in the midst of great stress, people were generally unhappy. For everyone else, the greater emphasis put on happiness, the least successful they were at obtaining it. It didn't matter how happiness was defined. People putting the greatest emphasis on being happy reported 50% less frequent positive emotions, 35% less satisfaction about their life, and 75% more depressive symptoms than people that had their priorities elsewhere. And in case, you are shaking your head at this narrow definition of happiness, take note that people that valued happiness the most also reported ~15% less psychological well-being. Psychological well-being is a smorgasbord of what is good in life including self-esteem, positive relations with other people, meaning and purpose in life, a sense of autonomy, and a sense of competence in tackling life's challenges. In sum, the more you value happiness, try to be happy, organize your life around trying to become happy, the less happy you end up.

But don't trust a single study. Consider a second study where people read a fake newspaper article about the value of happiness. The fake article emphasized the science of happiness. Very similar to the benefits I extolled earlier. Science shows that people achieving the greatest amount of happiness can experience long-term benefits in their relationships, professional success, and overall health and well-being.

Half of the people in the study read this fake article on the "science of happiness" and the other half read the same article except terms related to happiness were replaced with "making accurate judgments." When pushed to view happiness as fundamentally important, something of profound value, how does this affect one's ability to be happy? The researchers tested this by asking people to watch a funny movie clip after reading the newspaper. When given information about the benefits of being happy, people enjoyed the movie less. That is, people primed to value happiness became less (not more) appreciative of positive events in their immediate environment.

The pressure to be happy is everywhere. Well-meaning scientists, writers, therapists, consultants, and media personalities ramp up the importance of being happy and thus, the value of being a happy person. Often it is implicit, not explicit.

Perhaps this research provides insight on why nobody buys just one happiness book. Perhaps this research provides insight on why the number of people on psychotropic medication continues to skyrocket. Perhaps this research can help us reconsider what we are living for.

Think about what you want written on your tombstone. Here lies Todd Kashdan, a man who put every ounce of effort into being a happy person.Here lies Todd Kashdan, a man who strived to be a good friend, a good husband, a good father, while trying to make the world a slightly better place.

I choose the latter. Be in the present moment, be open and curious, and devote your life to what matters. Do this and you are liable to catch happiness along the way (or you might not). There are better things to live for than the pursuit of a perfect mix of thoughts and feelings inside our brain.

Very interesting. I haven't read the studies but, of course, there are alternative explanations for each finding. For example, people who place a greater emphasis on happiness may do it because they are less happy to begin with. The emphasis isn't the cause of less happiness but the outcome. And the second study (like the Loewenstein & Schooler one) is about happy mood, not happiness. But intriguing nonetheless. Thanks for bringing these to my (and everyone's) attention.

Very interesting. I haven't read the studies but, of course, there are alternative explanations for each finding. For example, people who place a greater emphasis on happiness may do it because they are less happy to begin with. The emphasis isn't the cause of less happiness but the outcome. And the second study (like the Loewenstein & Schooler one) is about happy mood, not happiness. But intriguing nonetheless. Thanks for bringing these to my (and everyone's) attention.

+1. My thoughts exactly. If these studies aren't longitudinal then you can't come to a conclusion about which is the cause and which is the effect.

Steve, why would a longitudinal study be better than an experimental study? Would you have expected people that are experimentally induce to think about the positive psychology research to extract less pleasure from an amusing film? What's your alternative explanation to the findings? Aren't positive emotions and reactivity to positive events part of being happy? Is a global self-report questionnaire of happiness taken at one time point with items using arbitrary Likert ratings better than a measure of emotional reactivity to an objectively positive event? Why?

These questions are not rhetorical. I am curious as to whether the same standard of evidence is being used for data that support and challenge your views. I know that these new data challenge some of the ideas you were taught in your positive psychology class.

Hey, Todd and hope you are well Down Under and "catching happiness along the way" to the Great Barrier Reef. No better place to be curious and to feel so alive. I hope your phrase sticks, catching happiness along the way. To grow, despite my age, for me, who is getting up there, is key. To notice and discover and gather as I wander about hoping to spread some joy to others along the way, that adds meaning. At the end of the day, that dash between our birth date and death date, how we traveled and ventured into life full throttle, to know our life impacts every other in some way or another, that's fascinating fulfillment. It ain't just about us mindlessly grabbing onto amorphously impossible happiness.
Keep your saber waving, Todd.

One thought this brings to mind is that happiness isn't something that is built in a day, or by reading a book and doing the right exercises. From my own experience, and from looking around me at friends and family, happiness takes years of maturation and living a principled life. And if as Sonja above suggests, the people striving for happiness are unhappy to begin with, any study of their success should be performed maybe twenty years down the road.

Lately I have found myself imploring the "happiness blog" writers such as yourself to 'let's stop analysing happiness and just be it'.

Even though I myself (as an aforementioned happiness coach) have quoted studies, I find myself incredulous at the time and effort spent by men in white coats analysing happiness.

Why didn't whoever paid out all that money just ask me - The Happiest Person I Know?? I am amazed and saddened that a white coat holds more weight than a happy person. And the expensive studies come to the same conclusions!

Well, I suppose the scientists have to have something to do!

"Happiness is snuggled up in a quiet spot within you.

You need only be still and silent and allow it to unfold until it eventually engulfs you."

So true. The more I do things "to be happy", the less happy I become. It's when you just lose yourself in the things you're doing that you open yourself to happiness. As a matter of fact, most happy experiences are unexpected. Negative thoughts are indeed bad, mind you, but positivity shouldn't be a chore.

Great post (and sorry I'm not able to meet you in Adelaide this weekend).

Along the lines of Lily's comments, I often use a Fruit Tree Metaphor to explain the pursuit of happiness.

"Everybody likes eating apples (peaches, plums, whatever). If all you do is pick the apples off your tree, what happens? On the other hand, if you do what is necessary and timely to maintain your tree - feed it, water it, protect it from pests, prune it when needed - you get plenty of fruit. But only when your tree is ready to give, not when you're ready to receive (i.e. want)

or "Life is about wanting what you've got, not getting what you want."

or "When you're happy do you go looking for happiness? Maybe that's the problem."

"Think about what you want written on your tombstone.
Here lies Todd Kashdan, a man who put every ounce of effort into being a happy person.
Here lies Todd Kashdan, a man who strived to be a good friend, a good husband, a good father, while trying to make the world a slightly better place."

Todd, I think you're a cool guy and all, but I'm not sure I want you buried with me...

Back on topic, I completely agree with you, chasing the rainbow is a bad thing. It just makes you tired and leprechauns with pots of gold don't exist. That's why on my £4,000 happiness training program, I placed a one line precautionary message at the bottom of my legal disclaimer form. Yes, the font is so small that you can't technically read the print with the naked eye, but if the customer can't be bothered to buy a magnifying glass, that's their problem, right?

Even though I have a MAPP degree, I can honestly say that I'm a bit anti-happiness, especially given all the other wonderful and more sophisticated topics in the field of positive psychology. In my mind, happiness is merely a byproduct, and topics such as curiosity, meaning, engagement, faith and thriving are far more worth an investment of focus and resources.

We need to stop allowing the media and pop culture to spin the science of positive psychology into ‘happiness for dummies’.