How to be Batman

Unlike other superheroes, Bruce Waynes alter ego isnt empowered by radioactive spider bites or an alien upbringing. If youve got the money, motivation and free time, anyone has a stab at becoming the caped crusader. But thats a big if, says professor E Paul Zehr, author of Becoming Batman: The Possibility of a Superhero.

Batman represents the most well-trained athlete possible, with the skills of a spy and the martial arts training of the special forces, he says. Oh, and a self-sustaining, billion-dollar company to fund his vehicles, weapons and surveillance technology.

But even if you havent inherited a blue chip corporation, surely Batmans hand-to-hand baddy-battering skills are simpler to replicate? Maybe not. He doesnt train in a specific style of karate, or kung fu or jujitsu, says Zehr. He needs to be able to do kicking, punching, grappling, throwing and using weapons. Be able to take a blow and choke someone out. That Batmans moral code precludes lethal force makes things even harder.

For his most recent celluloid iteration Batman deployed Keysi, a street-fighting technique developed to immobilise multiple opponents. But to achieve vigilante level, youd need to begin early. Youre thinking of a 12-18-year training paradigm, says Zehr. That means starting in your early teens to ensure youre not on the physical downslope by the time you hit the streets.

What goes up...

Expect that downslope to come quick, though. Just wearing a Batsuit isnt going to stop the jarring of the body and the brain, warns Zehr, who draws parallels with NFL players and MMA fighters who often experience debilitating brain problems as early as their forties. If most of the time you arrive at a crime scene everyone gives up, you might have 10 years. Otherwise you could only be Batman for two years, maximum.

To protect your battered grey matter stock up on creatine, vitamin E and turmeric, all of which have been linked to reduced damage after brain trauma. Although if youre being clubbed in the skull every night, a post-battering burrito probably wont stave off dementia. Especially considering Batmans shift schedule.

Night workers experience heightened cardiovascular and cancer risk thanks to their nocturnal hours. The things that restore our body arent just a function of being asleep, its sleeping at night, says Zehr. Undo some of the damage with blackout blinds for your post-rumble slumber and snack on tree nuts in the Batmobile; research published in the journal PLOS One found they help slash heart-harming cholesterol.

But battle enough and it's unlikely you'll ever reach the age where your blood pressure's a problem. Batman is not a career where you have an eye on retirement, says Zehr.

Bruce Waynes power-lifting workout

Balancing strength and speed isnt about endless hours in the squat rack. To build a body as comfortable scaling buildings as battling bad guys, Batmans workouts need to focus on power. This programme from Ian Mellis, owner of Results Fitness and Sports Training, ensures youll dodge blows as well as doling them out.

You cant be powerful if you arent quick, says Mellis. Load a bar with 60% of your 1RM, squat, then thrust your hips forward to drive the bar up as quickly as possible. Pow!

Hang snatch  4 sets of 8 reps

Mimicking the action of tossing a criminal over your shoulder, let the bar dangle at shin height, drop into a quarter squat then push up and drive it over your head. Lower and repeat, rather than hurling it through a windscreen.

Towel pull-ups  4 sets to failure

Drape a towel over a pull-up bar, grab each end then haul your chest above the bar. It challenges your grip strength, says Mellis. Useful when you find yourself dangling from a ledge.

Turkish get-up  3 sets of 10 reps on each side

Lie on the floor with a kettlebell held straight above you. Bend your right knee and push up onto your left hand. Drive yourself into a standing position, breathe, and reverse the movement. Next time youre floored, youll pop straight back up again.

Barbell landmine press  3 sets of 10 reps on each side

Wedge one end of a barbell in a corner, then stand holding the weighted end in front of your chest. Drive it up, keeping your abs locked. It trains you not to rotate under pressure, which stops you getting knocked over. Holy core strength, Batman!

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