If you have functioning ears, you’ve heard “I’m a 90s Baby In My 80s Mercedes” blaring from a speaker somewhere, inundating your mind with praise for a particular Mercedes 380 SL. The question is: does that car deserve praise? Here’s a classic Motor Week review to tell us the answer.

You’ve seen the premiere episode of MotorWeek from 1981, an episode that kicked off American TV’s longest-running automotive magazine. Now it’s time to venture even deeper into the rabbit hole that is the MotorWeek archives. Behold, the original unaired pilot from the height of the Malaise Era!

MotorWeek first came on the air in October, 1981. Since it's been on the air for nearly 35 years, you'd expect that the formula has changed a lot. Well, it has not. And to prove it, here is the very first episode of the show.

What a garbage day today is! It's Friday, the day after Christmas. There's a good chance you're at work even though you feel like you shouldn't be, and nothing is getting done because there's really nothing to do. Screw that. Watch some vintage tests from television's original automotive magazine instead.

Ever wonder how fast the new Nissan NYC Taxi does the quarter mile? Or gets to 60? Or its braking distance? Well, wonder no more, because our friends at MotorWeek just got their mitts on one of the newest taxis.

John Davis reports that the Suzuki Forenza has "brisk sales," which means that the Forenza Wagon should also have brisk sales. I don't know about you folks, but I didn't know the Forenza Wagon existed until today. Eight years later.

It's a bit of a shame that this review is from before the Subaru Justy's most notable feature, the first CVT to be sold in any numbers in America, came around, but that's okay because you at least get to see Motorweek's be-shaded car model shove some gloves in the glovebox. Just like God intended.

You know, I watch enough MotorWeek that I can tell when John Davis is being normal John Davis enthusiastic about the Chevy Cruze or whatever and when he's really excited about a car. This is one of those times where it's the latter.