Eric Janssen's home is New Zealand, he's lived in South Africa and many of his mates are Australian - all of which qualifies him to give an unashamedly southern hemisphere view of rugby.

Assault in Wellington? Um, er, perhaps not, after all.

First came the Rainbow Warrior. Then Rugby World Cups 1999 and 2007. Then France centre Mathieu Bastareaud tried to add insult to injury by claiming the great unwashed of Wellington had beaten him up on Sunday after his team's 14-10 defeat to the All Blacks.

Police went on to red alert. Wellington's city council apologised to Bastareaud. New Zealand prime minister John Key said sorry. Some rugby writers condemned Wellington as a city of thugs.

And then? Bastareaud is overwhelmed by the media interest in the story, and finally decides to come clean.

No, he was not attacked. Rather, he got hammered at some local bars and was so drunk by the time he arrived back at his hotel, he fell over a table and hurt his face. Now now, no tears, here's a plaster, softie.

Bastareaud said he had made up the story because he did not want to upset his family, who are deeply religious.

I can't categorically speak for the Big Man, but I somehow suspect he looks kinder on a tipple and an accident than lying.