On Lessons I’ve Learned Since The Big Three Oh

I didn’t pay much attention to the fact that I turned 30 last December. I was too busy chasing deadlines and trying not to be a shitty mom to notice that I was no longer in my 20s. Since life has slowed down a lot in the last few weeks, I’ve had the breathing space to do a lot of introspective stuff. To acknowledge the lessons I’ve learned, the mistakes I’ve made and give myself the space to accept the fact that I’m actually adulting now, and I’m doing ok.

Here are a few of the things I’ve pondered and realised:

It’s incredible how much life can change in a few short months. Even if you don’t have it all figured out, it’s okay to take it day by day for a while. Whatever it takes to make it through to bedtime. Just keep swimming.

Accept that you can’t please everyone, all of the time. Pick a few people that matter, and concentrate your time on those people. You’ll find you might even have some time left over for yourself.

Nothing can prepare you for marriage. Not dating, not living together, not having kids together. Learn on the job, and learn fast.

Getting married is not a promise, it’s a decision. A decision that you make every morning when you wake up. A decision to be married, to stay married and to be there for the other person.

A marriage isn’t a 50/50 partnership. It’s one person being strong for the other person. It’s being there for the other person to lean on. It’s accepting responsibility for the fact that you made a commitment for better or worse. It’s taking the other person’s help and acknowledging that you need it, too.

Being a better spouse isn’t that difficult. It’s as simple as asking yourself every day “what can I do that can make life a little easier for my other half today?” and then doing it. The small things have a way of adding up.

Don’t take it personally, unless it’s got your name written on it. Not everything is criticism, not all criticism is bad. Just because the shoe fits, doesn’t mean you have to wear it. If you’ve tried your best and given it everything you possibly could, you have nothing to worry about.

It’s okay to open the doors to your past and have a peek. It’s okay to get nostalgic. Don’t step back through those doors. You are where you are because of the fact that you closed those doors and walked away. Don’t forget that.

Forgiveness is easier than holding a grudge. It doesn’t mean that there wasn’t wrong done, it just means that you don’t have to hold on to that hurt any longer.

Patience is the one thing you can never have enough of. Next to sleep, of course. Work at having more of both.

Being nice is its own reward. Doing nice things for people and then getting pissed off when they don’t acknowledge or show appreciation negates the good deed. Do things without the expectation of a thank you.

Never forget your own manners. Please and thank you will always get you further than you expect. Being polite doesn’t hurt. Being an asshole does.

It’s okay to ask for help. It doesn’t mean you’re a failure, it just means that you need back-up. When it comes to other people, offer to help. Mean it. Follow through. Pitch up. Be there. Get involved.

Don’t overthink things. Just let them go. If they don’t want to be there, don’t force it.

I don’t know you IRL, only on social media, but that way I’d like to think I know you quite well. It’s amazing to compare the person who wrote this post to the young, sometimes very angry & confused girl I started following on Twitter when The Kid was still tiny. Well done on being a fantastic adult and putting together this post that has advice that absolutely everyone can use. You rock! 🙂 x