Tag Archives: politics

As being reported everywhere, the Supreme Court of the United States has, in a 5-4 ruling, declared marriage between consenting adults a civil right that cannot be infringed upon. Justice Anthony Kennedy wrote for the majority:

“No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were. As some of the petitioners in these cases demonstrate, marriage embodies a love that may endure even past death. It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage. Their plea is that they do respect it, respect it so deeply that they seek to find its fulfillment for themselves. Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization’s oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right. The judgment of the Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit is Reversed. It is so ordered”

Yes, there are four justices who still have their heads up their asses, but we’re not going to dwell upon them today. Today we finally get to stop talking about gay and straight and just talk about marriage.

The bill, as we all know from “Schoolhouse Rocks”, still requires passage by the State Senate before becoming a law. With a solid Republican majority behind the effort, however, that seems likely. Looks like the cartoon will need to be updated to reflect the inevitable Supreme Court challenge.

The law would require a ceremony to be performed and certificate to be issued by a “preacher, minister, priest, rabbi, or ecclesiastical dignitary”. Russ claims this “protects” county clerks from having to “recognize” same-sex marriage.

Todd clearly doesn’t realize that non-religious people, according to recent polls, make up as much as a third of Americans. Marriage, secular or otherwise, provides numerous secular benefits ranging from tax breaks to estate disposition to hospital visitation.

Verdict

Russ and, apparently, a majority of the Oklahoma House of Representatives fail to understand that marriage as a legal arrangement has as long a, if not longer, history than marriage as a religious rite. They also clearly enjoy wasting taxpayer time and money with ridiculous assertions that have absolutely no chance of passing constitutional muster.

For all of this we charge the Oklahoma House of Representatives with Dickory in the First Degree and Accessory Dumbassery. They are sentenced to remain, for the rest of their natural-born lives, in an Oklahoma that will soon leave them behind culturally, socially and politically.

Inhofe seems to be suggesting that because it’s cold outside where he is, it can’t possibly be warm elsewhere. 2014 was, indeed, the hottestyeareverrecorded. Inhofe’s inane theatrics and inability to understand basic science can’t change that.

Verdict

It’s normally difficult to sentence somebody for being stupid, however it’s quite easy to do so for somebody this proud of being stupid. Inhofe is convicted with Dumbassery in the First Degree. For his sentence he will spend a week in drought-ridden California (currently experiencing the hottest winter on record) where he will presumably stand drooling and gibbering, amazed at the lack of snow in Winter.

It all started when 8-year-old Olivia McConnell suggested to her state representative, Robert Ridgeway, that the Mammoth become South Carolina’s state fossil. She raised the points that one of the first major fossil discoveries in North America was in South Carolina and that it was one of only seven states without one.

He thought it was good idea and, with his counterpart Sen. Kevin Johnson, introduced a nice, simple bill into their respective houses. It first hit a minor roadblock in the form of Senate Majority Leader Harvey Peeler who was objecting simply because, “Quite frankly, I thought we had passed a bill in the Senate putting a moratorium on official state whatevers.”

After a quick amendment from Peeler which, basically, said: “OK, but this is the last time for this crap, dammit!” the bill’s future seemed brighter. That is until it hit Sen. Kevin Bryant who is apparently so fragile in his belief that he insists that it infect everything (Bryant is pictured at left wasting somebody else’s time).

First, he derailed the bill by insisting that it include three verses from Genesis. This nearly doubled the size of this otherwise simple bill. After receiving criticism for that blatant attempt to politicize something that didn’t need to be politicized he relented by… doing more of the same.

The final version of the bill, which looks like it may be passed, includes this amended, redundant language by Bryant:

Section 1-1-712A. The Columbian Mammoth, which was created on the Sixth Day with the other beasts of the field, is designated as the official State Fossil of South Carolina and must be officially referred to as the ‘Columbian Mammoth’, which was created on the Sixth Day with the other beasts of the field.

There is no word from Olivia on how it feels to have genuine scientific curiosity squashed by a mean man in a dumb suit.

Verdict

For insisting that nothing good can happen unless his religion is allowed to mark it like a dog in heat, Mr. Byant is charged with Triple Dumbassery in the First Degree. We truly hope that someday he feels confident enough in his faith that he doesn’t have to shove it down the throats of little girls.

Proposed by state rep. John Kavanagh the law would force people to use gender-identified public facilities (restrooms, locker rooms, dressing rooms, etc) consistently with the gender listed on their birth-certificates or face up to six-months in prison.

So, for example, a transgender woman, born male, wearing women’s clothing and in all ways outwardly presenting as a woman must, under this law, use the men’s room. It also appears that the (badly written) bill would potentially penalize any father that escorts his toddler daughter into a ladies room or a woman that leverages an otherwise unused men’s room.

(As an aside, we’re also consistently intrigued by the fact that somehow these ridiculous, bigoted proposals never seem to get any attention on the representatives personal home pages.)

Verdict

We had considered a plea-bargain for Rep. Kavanagh but, as reported in the Phoenix New Times, he is clearly a repeat offender. Therefore we charge him with Double-Maximum Dumbassery.

The Washington Blade reports that, in a statement released by the Whitehouse upon request, White House spokesperson Shin Inouye relayed:

“The President believes the Boy Scouts is a valuable organization that has helped educate and build character in American boys for more than a century. He also opposes discrimination in all forms, and as such opposes this policy that discriminates on basis of sexual orientation.”

We applaud this clear-and-direct statement from the White House on such a divisive issue, especially coming as it does in a very touch election cycle. (We also assume that the President’s feelings also include atheists, another group that the Boy Scouts discriminate against.) Unfortunately the President didn’t take the obvious next step and reject his traditional, honorary position as President of the Boy Scouts of America so we can only call this baby-steps; but at least they’re steps in the right direction.

“I actually support funding for teaching the fundamentals of America’s Founding Fathers’ religion, which is Christianity, in public schools or private schools.” and “I liked the idea of giving parents the option of sending their children to a public school or a Christian school.” Later she added, “Unfortunately it will not be limited to the Founders’ religion.”

While the founders religious preferences are still debatable it’s very likely that many (if not most) would be very uncomfortable with the evangelism of today. It’s also true that many of the most well-known and most respected of the founding father’s (Jefferson, Franklin, Hamilton, Adams, Wilson, Morris, Madison, and Washington for example) are also those most critical of religion.

Jefferson, of course, is credited with coining the term “separation of church and state” in a letter to the Danbury Baptist Association:

“Believing with you that religion is a matter which lies solely between man and his God, that he owes account to none other for his faith or his worship, that the legislative powers of government reach actions only, and not opinions, I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should ‘make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof,’ thus building a wall of separation between church and State.”

Representative Hodges clearly needs to review her history. Finally she ends: “We need to ensure that it does not open the door to fund radical Islam schools. There are a thousand Muslim schools that have sprung up recently. I do not support using public funds for teaching Islam anywhere here in Louisiana.”

Verdict

For Representative Hodges clear ignorance of her own history and the US Constitution she easily earns a charge of Dumbassery in the First Degree. For her blatant (and illegal) favoritism of her own religion she also garners an additional charge of Dickory in the Second Degree.

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Our Rating System

Offenders highlighted on SadPolitics can be charged with one or more of following in various degrees:

Dumbassery: Ideas or statements that are just patently stupid or so well debunked that no honest individual could possibly present them as factual. Dumbbasses are either liars or idiots (sometimes both).

Douchebaggery: Things that are technically true, but presented so far out of context as to be meaningless to the conversation at hand. Douchebags will often “lawyer” their way out of arguments.

Dickory: This is just, for lack of a better word, being an asshole. Dickory makes up for a lack of substance with volume and bullying.