A cum laude college graduate's long battle ends in his fatal OD

By CURT BROWN

Sunday

Mar 16, 2014 at 12:01 AMMar 16, 2014 at 6:10 AM

In March 2002, UMass Amherst business student Nicholas Urbanek found his father dead. Linda Hough traces her son's long downward spiral to that terrible moment. Three months ago, at the age of 33, Urbanek, her oldest child, died of a heroin overdose.

In March 2002, UMass Amherst business student Nicholas Urbanek found his father dead.

Linda Hough traces her son's long downward spiral to that terrible moment. Three months ago, at the age of 33, Urbanek, her oldest child, died of a heroin overdose.

"He couldn't handle the death of his dad and he never talked about his father," an alcoholic who "drank himself to death," said Hough, 55.

The family lived in Acushnet before moving to New Bedford's West End in 2001. In 1998, Urbanek graduated from New Bedford High School, where he played baseball and basketball and traveled to Alaska to play in a holiday basketball tournament.

After his father's death, Urbanek returned to UMass Amherst but he struggled and he did not want to finish school. He would call his mother "20 times a day" saying, "'I can't do this, I can't do this,'" she recalled.

But somehow he did finish, graduating cum laude in 2002 from UMass Amherst's School of Business Administration and Finance.

Then gradually, over time, Hough began noticing changes in him.

His passion for riding his motorcycle began to diminish. Urbanek, who was 6-4 and 280 pounds, always loved going to the gym. But he also lost interest in working out, she said.

Hough said she first learned of his heroin use in 2003 when he was arrested.

The family took him to St. Luke's Hospital and then enrolled him in a seven-day treatment program in Falmouth.

It was the first of numerous treatment programs he would enter, they said.

But rehab didn't work. Urbanek was arrested again in 2010 for heroin.

On Dec. 18, 2013, he died at the age of 33. He was buried in Riverside Cemetery on Christmas Eve, his mother said.

As she tries to work through her grief, Hough is channeling it into advocacy for better treatment for addicts.

Her son was involved in several programs, but all were short-term and did not address his problems, she said.

"I tried my best to be a good parent and give my two kids everything I didn't have," she said. "It's a horrible, horrible disease and it raises havoc in the family.

"If the government doesn't want to bear down on drug dealers, then they need to step up with longer treatment plans," she said.

Hough said she wants to hold a softball tournament with the proceeds benefitting Teen Challenge, a 15-month faith-based treatment program based in Providence and Brockton.

She also wants to donate her son's clothes to Teen Challenge so when recovering addicts are ready to resume their lives they will have suits and ties for job interviews.

"I'm going to be an advocate in my son's memory," she said. "I'm going to try and help as many people as I can."

It is out of that desire that Hough and her family — husband, Tom Hough, 62, and daughter, Nicole Urbanek, 32 — agreed to speak with The Standard-Times.

"If it can help one person, then my son didn't die in vain," she said of the decision to speak publicly.

Among the things they remember most about Urbanek was his love for family, evident in the tattoo — "Family First" — across his chest.

"He was the caretaker of the family," Hough said.

Urbanek was also a devoted son. "He would watch Lifetime TV (offering woman-oriented programming) with me on Sunday and he never asked me to change the channel," Hough said.

Her son especially loved Christmas Eve because it meant his entire family would be together, she said.

"Nick was a homebody. He wanted to be married and have a family," said his mother. "He would have been a great father."

Yet, his drug use distanced him from those he loved and those who loved him. He hated what he was doing, his stepfather said.