BJ Shea

BJ Shea

BJ'S BLOG 08/15/13 "Texting"

by BJ Shea,posted Aug 15 2013 7:58AM

Earlier this week, we received a text from Carla, a Rock-A-Holic who needed our advice during Group Therapy.

She explained that her husband has been getting these texts and jokes from their daughter’s 19-year-old friend…and some of them are sexual. They are not really personal except for the fact that she is sending them to her husband.

Carla is not worried that he is going to cheat, but when she brought up how inappropriate it was to her husband, he blew up! He said they are just jokes and there is nothing wrong with it! She wanted our opinion on the subject, is she overreacting or is this really inappropriate?

I want to know what the hell has happened to men! Where have all the honrable men gone? The men who understand boundaries and understand and appropriate behavior?

NO! You don’t have any sort of exchange with your daughter’s friends especially if they involve something sexual!

We also need to be teaching young women that don’t understand the concept that when they communicate with a guy about anything sexual, it makes them think you are interested in them.

This activity should stop because not only is this guy disrespecting Carla, he is disrespecting his daughter.

But the opportunity to discuss why he was enjoying the attention was missed. He, like most men, wants to feel like they can still pull tail - even if the desire to act on it isn't present. Might be a signal to Carla that she needs to start finding some more and new reasons to find her husband a man / sexual interest - and not just a husband. I'm betting he's missing that attention from her and taking it where he can get it ... and justifying that since he's not acting on the desire, it's okay.

08/15/2013 3:54PM

Inappropriate!

really under no circumstances should an older married male be Arlingtoncommunicating with a 19 yr old "friend" of his daughters. The fact that he reacted so negatively to her questioning speaks volumns! The above person makes a very valid point though, just as we ladies want to feel pretty and wanted, your man also needs to know he can still rock your world.....otherwise he will soon be rocking with a 19 yr old!
kzak in Arlington

08/16/2013 4:31AM

Inappropriate

Any age it is not cool to text dirty sexual jokes to someone who is married or in a relationship where someone is bothered by it.

08/16/2013 4:37AM

RESPECT

I am speaking on the side of someone feeling hurt bothered by it. If it was a joke sent out of request to a post or heard by the husband no biggie.