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Wednesday, February 16, 2011

I want that Vulcan-ness in training. Not Vulkan with a "k" like the gi (although should they ever want to sponsor a non-competing blue-belt-for-lifer, I wear size A0, only blue or white please and not that dark blue because Royler prefers the original blue), but Vulcan with a "c" like in Star Trek. Emotionless. Logical. Better yet, I'd like to be Seven of Nine so I can have an awesome rack too. Wait, those would totally get in the way. Ok back to Vulcan.

I babble about this because sometimes it's hard not to get overwhelmed (like last night) during bad training rounds, days, weeks, whatever. *Most* everyone has their peaks and valleys in training and even though we recognize that's all it is, it still gets to you. Well, most of us. I swear some of my training partners never have off days and never get emotionally overwhelmed in training! JERKS!

Last night was one of those nights where I just could not get my head on straight and to top it off, my cardio was like that of a cigarette smoking Vegas street walker on a hike in the Himalayas in the middle of winter carrying my pimp on my back.

And of course I always display all of my emotions prominently on my face.

I was so shamefully out of condition that my sparring partner actually stopped mid-pass and asked, "Um, are you okay?"

But at my academy, my instructors don't just let these moments slide. They always come over after and give me a little talky-talk when I go into full chica mode and get overly emotional and bummed out about my training. So last night's discussion was about how to "reset" your emotions when you hit a bump in training. It's a downward spiral for some of us, once we start to feel like we're losing the round, I'm sure even harder for all you competitors out there. But it's not to say it's impossible. It's about diverting your energies to what's going on now versus what just happened. Easier said than done but the only way to figure out how to do it is try. And to know that it actually is possible.

My goal this week is to have a handle on my emotions in training. I want to grab that sniveling, emotional, weaklittle brat inside by the pony tail and tell her to stfu and sit in her corner and lift some weights or something.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Last night one of my teachers had another mini-talk with me about my decision not to compete. Ever. Usually this happens around big tournaments and this past weekend was the Las Vegas Abu Dhabi Trials.

Ummm... Sorry. I get very excited every time I think about how well our women's team is doing! Back to the topic o' discussion.

Let's be honest, many instructors become very unhappy with you if you say you don't want to compete. Some even stop helping you much in class when they realize you're really not going to compete.

I do not belong to one of those academies. :)

HOWEVER, that does not mean I am not periodically reminded of the benefits of competing, what it means for the team for people to compete, etc. So what to do? Here is my current train of thought, let me know what you've got to add to the list.

Pros(+)/Cons(-)

(+) Motivation! > When you have a specific goal to reach, you tend to work harder.

(-) Demotivation! > When you have a specific goal to reach and you feel very far from the goal, you tend to get discouraged, sometimes to the point of just giving up.

(+) Learning Experience > You get to go up against someone that is your weight (more or less) that you don't have to worry about going "too hard" with.

(-) Weight > You have to worry about what you're eating, drinking less alcohol, maybe none at all the week of the tournament (NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Might as well just stop with my list right here?), so that you are actually going up against someone that is more/less your weight.

(+) Healthier Lifestyle > It forces you to clean up your diet, lifestyle, etc, as you get closer and closer to tournament time.

(-) Unhealthy Attitude Re: Weight > All of a sudden it doesn't matter what's best for you, what's at the top of your mind is that you make it to pluma!

(+/-) MENTALITY > This is a big one here for me. Having/learning to have the right mindset for competition is a whole big fog of Idon'tknowwhat. Winning/losing has the potential to really affect how you will do in subsequent matches/tournaments/training in a positive or negative way. Choking in a tournament would also suck. And I mean "choking" as in getting overwhelmed, not "getting choked" but that kind would also suck.

(-) STRESS > Between amateur muay thai bouts, muay thai smokers, and boxing smokers, I've had 10 stand-up fights. Not one of them was a fun experience for me and it just stressed me the F out. I do not like feeling stressed, especially about one of the few things I truly love to do. But I do not think it would be the same scenario where I am today.

I just don't know what to think. Is competing for everyone? I don't think so but for whatever reason, the majority of the bjj world seems to disagree with me on this.