Warning: Other than the implied violence, character whompage (is that a word?)

Author notes: This was written for LJ's Winter_of_Faith fic challenge. It takes place after Angel's Not Fade Away, season five. Any time thereafter. I got the inspiration for this fic from the season three episode of Buffy where she tells Faith that the most important thing was "Don't die". I think in some ways that simple statement challenged Faith, made Faith think, and has helped her survive time after time. And I'm throwing in another goodie in this also. Please read. Comment and enjoy!

Don't Die

Don't die.

What a motto. Make sure and don't die the next time you go out, doing your job, minding your own business. Dying sucks.

Don't die.

Something she had been quite good at watching people do. People all around her died. She did not. Three watchers, her mother, her sister slayers, her friends.

Don't die.

Best advice from her best enemy/friend. Why did it not matter right now?

Don't die.

Yeah, happening this time, she thinks. Blood seeps out of the wound the creature inflicts, making her weak, making her reminisce about old times, bad times.

Don't die.

Something she should have told her last watcher. Deathwish much? It's like he had the word death stamped across his forehead.

Don't die.

The more blood that leaves her body, the more she realizes that if she does die, no one will care.

Don't die.

Get up, the voice yells. Get up. You cannot die. It's not your time.

Don't die.

The two of them really do need to shut the hell up in her head. Slowly she opens her eyes, well aware that the dark, disgusting alley would probably be the last thing she sees before she, you know, dies.

Don't die.

She swings her arm out, to try and stop the voices in her head.

"Faith, please. Don't die. It's not your time."

Hell, he didn't care if she died capturing Angelus, he didn't care if she died fighting the Beast, he didn't care if she died in that prison way back when.

The blood mixes with the filth and the decay of that alley.

Don't die.

She sees her mother, leaning over the table, needle sticking out of her arm. She died. She sees her first watcher, tortured, murdered before her very eyes. She sees her friends die one by one, only she's the one killing them. She sees him bleed, gag in place, dignity intact, before pulling back, knowing that by doing this she was dying inside.

Don't die.

Faith understands now. She did die long ago, with that knife buried in her stomach. Her friend, her only friend who became her enemy, had done that to her. Rightfully so, but still.

Don't die.

The two people that had mattered the most to her had died. One for two minutes, making Faith the Slayer and the other one forever, until he came back to haunt her dreams.

Don't die.

Gonna happen sometime, might as well be now. Reaching up, she touches the one person whom she cannot touch. That must mean only one thing.

Don't die.

He shoves her hand away, like he cannot stand her touch, only to reach for her again, just as the pain disappears, just as her eyes slide shut. It fills her with peace, a peace that she never could find in prison.