Stop pandering to these court jesters

EACH year our nation’s sporting psyche loses all perspective and indulges itself in the overblown and exaggerated carnival of Wimbledon.

EACH year our nation’s sporting psyche loses all perspective and indulges itself in the overblown and exaggerated carnival of Wimbledon.

I have nothing against Grand Slam tennis tournaments per se, but find this frantic obsession with some of the world’s most pampered and petulant individuals to be somewhat over stated.

Despite the fact we haven’t produced a men’s singles champion since before records began and a Ladies’ Queen since 1977 we endure total blanket coverage from the media whilst the BBC hurl vast resources they can ill afford and disrupt programme schedules at the drop of a service game.

At the touch of the red button you can see pouring rain and huddling bedraggled fans on 10 different outside courts all at the same time which makes of course for spellbinding television.

Thankfully it’s nearly over for another year and little has changed. Only Andy Murray, the surly Scot, victim of a charisma bypass and seemingly stalked by his fearsome mother, ever makes it through to the second week.

Most Brits hardly get past the strawberry tent such is their uselessness and if one of them might actually win a match then a national holiday is declared.

I excuse Laura Robson from this category and believe as long as she can avoid the clucking and mother hen intention of decrepit yet venerable Virginia Wade she may just have a worthwhile career.

We are subjected to these divas surrounded by entourages that contain crimpers, stylists, nutritionists, masseurs, eye brow pluckers and body waxers and that’s just for the men.

One such hair tossing glossy Adonis I spotted on an outside court made Alan Carr look quite butch. Their sometime fragile mental state was underlined when the seeded Serb, Djokovic, who couldn’t believe his pet poodle Pierre had been denied entry into the UK, had a huge tantrum on Centre Court and beat his racquet to death.

The actual play with the exception of the dumping of the Williams sisters has been predictable so with the situation desperate for debate the old chestnut of “the grunt” being a legitimate tactic has raised the decibel levels.

This is not a new phenomenon. Ladies have grunted and shrieked for years. I think the measure of offence you take depends on the persona of the individual.

If the culprit is a mid European muscle-bound moustached and lantern-jawed balding female then of course they should be banned.

If, however, she is of a more graceful and lissom appearance with a sporty smile and a lived-in bra then perhaps close your eyes think of England and forgive them.

Apparently the excuse for guttural engagement is an aid to concentration and a focus for power. Amazingly lady golfers, athletes, cricketers and the like find no need for such acoustics.

I also remain confused by the BBC fixation on celebrity. Any visiting “name” or personality attending as a spectator from Sir Bruce to Dame Kelly becomes the target of constant close-ups which in the case of Brian Moore the former England hooker was quite embarrassing.

He had previously written in his national broadsheet column of his hatred for Wimbledon in general and his dislike of Murray in particular and yet there he was scruffy as an unmade bed applauding and fist pumping the Scot’s victory over Ljubicic.

Hypocrite or creep? Make your own mind up!

The only way Wimbledon can ever justify this huge amount of attention and hype is for more successful British playing participation.

The failure of tennis to unearth genuine talent or potential in this country is appalling and down to the lack of imagination and resolve of the Lawn Tennis Association, another ripe contender for the dubious prize of Worst Sporting Administrators.

Their feeble attempts to “grow the sport” amongst anybody other than the middle classes or above has been pitiful and wasteful.

The official figures for last year show that only 20 per cent of their total income of £65million, yes it’s not a misprint was used to actually promote the sport to the masses.

The LTA can pontificate all day long but the fact remains until new purpose and direction is found further millions, some of it yet again from the defenceless tax payer, will be squandered.