DID YOU READ

5 More Musical Theater Roles Christopher Walken Should Play

The Internet is split today on NBC’s live Peter Pan musical, with some people hate loving it while others just plain hated it. But there’s one thing that everyone can agree on: Christopher Walken was at his most Christopher Walken-ist as Captain Hook. Sure, he flubbed a few lines and seemed to have been told what musical he was in five minutes before the broadcast went live. But he’s still Christopher Walken, and therefore should be cast in all the musicals. Here are a few more musical theater roles we’d like to see Walken tackle. (Images by Kristy Puchko)

1. Sweeney Todd

Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd, the killer barber who…talks…very…slowly. We’d love to see what sort of verbal stew Walken would make of Stephen Sondheim’s famously verbose lyrics.

2. The Landlord in Rent

The role of Benny, the yuppie landlord threatening to kick out the singing squatters, could benefit from Walken’s signature oily charm. Plus, since it’s a small role, he can spend most of the show’s running time sitting down backstage. The guy’s a senior citizen, after all.

3. Charlie Brown in You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown

Seeing as how NBC is resurrecting every musical your grandparents grew up with, it’s only a matter of time before they dig out this old chestnut. And clearly the role of the titular hangdog sad sack should be played by Christopher Walken.

4. Shrek in Shrek: The Musical

Casting Christopher Walken as the beloved Scottish ogre is exactly what this show needs to get it back on Broadway. And he wouldn’t require all that much in the way of prosthetics.

5. Hedwig in Hedwig and the Angry Inch

Who better to follow Hedwig creator John Cameron Mitchell in the hot Broadway revival than Christopher Walken? Audiences are sure to pay top orchestra prices to see a 71-year-old in fishnets.

Your Portlandia Personality Test

Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.

Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…

Celebrating Portlandia One Sketch at a Time

Most people measure time in minutes, hours, days, years…At IFC, we measure it in sketches. And nothing takes us way (waaaaaay) back like Portlandia sketches. Yes, there’s a Portlandia milepost from every season that changed the way we think, behave, and pickle things. In honor of Portlandia’s 8th and final season, Subaru presents a few of our favorites.