Monday, August 21, 2006

Free Wine and Food Isn't Really THAT Bad

On The C, it was not. But then again, it would have been difficult to duplicate that particular event given that it had been held, you know, in my honor. But I will say that I was pleasantly surprised at the turnout at 8 ½ on Saturday for the big Wine-sponsored blogger event.

I showed up a little after 7, surprised to see that I was not the only person there within an hour of the prescribed starting time. Of course, I knew nobody in the room and, surprisingly to some of you I’m sure, I am terrible in situations like that. Like, absolutely terrified of approaching people I don’t know, especially when I’m sure half of them probably think I’m some sort or racist zealot to begin with. And since Erik, the only person I’d talked to on the phone that day, was still looking for parking, I was forced to down as much free red wine as possible to keep myself amused. So might I suggest for the next one of these that someone decides to throw a little helpful tool we call NAMETAGS. That way I’m not standing alone in a room going “Man, I’m like the youngest person in here by 8 years. Awesome!”

Not that I really needed one, though. After Erik showed up we bellied up to the bar and began what we knew would be a long night of drinking. Within a few minutes we were approached by MiamiBeach411 (who I am not linking on purpose after he made fun of me for explaining the linking process to him “Oh, is that how linking works? Thanks?” he told me. Look, it was my birthday. Leave me alone) who said “Excuse me, is one of you guys White Dade?” Being the attention whore that I am, I piped up and said “Yes,” waiting for the inevitable wine glass or blunt object to be hurled in my direction. But he, along with everyone else I met, was extremely polite. I was approached a few more times by people asking if I was White Dade, I guess since me and Erik were the only 2 white guys in the room under about 35. It wasn’t hard to tell.

Amy from Miami Beach was true to her word and was “The Mormon Girl in The Red Dress.” Despite the fact that she looked way more Spanish than she did Spanish Fork, she was still easy to spot by the “I was brainwashed at age 7” look that even Mormons who hang around with Jews and Fags still seem to have. Amy was a delightful individual as she, Erik and myself compared “Miami is not at all what you think it is when you move here” stories. I found that this was a common thread among transplants to the area: Love it or hate it, Miami is absolutely 100% different than what you see on TV and movies, and it’s always good to see that everyone agrees with me.

I also had the pleasure of meeting Maria, the creator of Manola BlaBlaBlanik, who claims to still be working on a post based on my spreadsheet called “The F-List.” But I’ll believe it when I see it. And Rebecca from GreenerMiami and her husband also stopped by to tell me hello. I was about 9 Glasses of wine into the party by then, but I do remember Rebecca sharing my confusion as to why anyone wouldn’t want to come to this event.

The poor folks at Stormhoek tried in vain to give some sort of presentation about their winery about 90 minutes into the open wine bar. What I think they failed to realize is that a bunch of drunk bloggers are not going to shut up for more than two minutes to listen to anything, unless, of course, it’s about them. Some guy form “The Apprentice” spoke, but I had no fucking clue who he was and I think pretty much talked about how hot the girls at PennState are with Erik during most of his presentation. Seth Gordon FINALLY realized that we all just wanted to talk about ourselves at that point, and decided to have us go around the room and introduce ourselves and our blogs. When it was finally my turn I looked up from leaning on the bar and said “Hi, I write blog called White Dade.” And a collective groan or “ooooh” came up form the audience, I couldn’t tell. “It’s pretty much about the novelty of being a white guy living in Miami.” Which garnered a little chuckle. Seth was nice enough to tell everyone he enjoyed my tips on sex and dating to which I replied “yeah, because when I try and write about sports or politics I have no fucking idea what I’m talking about” Which got a bigger laugh. Well, at least they found me entertaining in person.

At the end of the night, Social Diva and her husband came up to me and said “you seem like an outgoing person. How are you?” I don’t even think they read White Dade, but anybody who buys me a Hennessey on the Rocks for my birthday is okay in my book. Later, Seth and I both commiserated on the inexplicable backlash to the event, as he seemed as confused as I was. Eventually, the party ended and Erik and I went and had a slice at Rustica before he came and attended the Ice Luge bash. Which I think was a welcome change for him from lawyer parties on Brickell. At any rate, I look forward to meeting those of you who didn’t show up, for whatever reasons you had, at the next blogger get-together. Ask anyone who was there, I am extremely nice in person and gracious to anyone who wants to come up and say hi and/or buy me a drink. At least, I am after 11 glasses of free wine.

Oh, and a special thanks to Tara for sending me a birthday card. Best gift a blogger ever gave me on my birthday. Except for maybe that Hennessey form Mr. Diva.

You summed up the evening perfectly. Birthday party included. Good times all the way around. However, you failed to mention how good the appetizers were at that place. Man, that fillet mignon was great. Too bad the trays were usually empty by the time it got to us.

Hey, happy birthday. again. I forgot to sing the Mormon birthday song to you. It was great to finally met you in person. The blogger party was definitely on the odd side. My two questions would be: Why was The Apprentice there, and who the fuck was up the loud, black dude?