MEMORIAL DAY LINKS FROM SAILOR CAT

It starts off promising, but goes on way too long. Bill Hader and Seth Meyers teamed up to write an issue of Spider-Man for Marvel. Eh, at least it’ll suck less than Tim Gunn as Iron Man. [New York Times]

‘When are they going to get to the fireworks factory?’ Everything there is to know about Itchy and Scratchy. [Gunaxin]

I’m not sure we agree on the meaning of the word ‘classic’: Ten classic Celebrity Deathmatch fights. How about we just call them “somewhat memorable”? [Hail Mary Jane]

Joel McHale and I should be friends. An advance review of next fall’s “Community” on NBC. The featurette doesn’t lie: this is gonna be good. [Televisionary]

Finally, I can sleep at night: Kiefer Sutherland will not be prosecuted for the infamous headbutt. [TMZ]

Only one more week: The list of guests for Conan O’Brien’s first week hosting “The Tonight Show.” Needs more Masturbating Bear. [NBC]

All right, now go off and enjoy your holiday. Sailor Cat’s gonna stay right here and defend your Constitutional right to barbecue. And maybe watch a little of “What Not to Wear.”