Dream it; Plan it; Live it…then adjust

Month: October 2017

“Can you believe this is your life right now?” This from my friend, Lisa, who was “helping” me pick out cruise excursions for my summer trip to Alaska. Actually I was forcing her to cull through everything fabulous, talk it out, and narrow down the choices. Good friends…find them and keep them.

But she’s right, my life is in an amazing phase right now. So, why is contented-ness such a phantom to me? I have a great job, great friends, a home I absolutely adore, my health (for the most part), and enough income to finally travel…at least enough so that I can actually budget for travel anyway.

I’m an over-analyzer so I recognize that I’m not necessarily unhappy or unsatisfied…just always searching. For what? I have absolutely no idea! In my head…whatever “IT” is currently resides in Alaska. That trip is really a dream come true for me.

I could never have imagined my life would be like this. It is really good. And calm. No drama. No real world worries. So what the hell is wrong with me??? I know logically that peace comes from within. Did i get the gypsy gene?

Is there a peace gene…and if there is and it’s attached to the skinny gene, I’m gonna be pissed!

My new passion is to really explore the world in the coming years. To that end, I’ve made a vision board to keep me motivated. The premise is that if you can see yourself there, you’re more likely to make steps to get there…wherever your “there” happens to be. My “there” is traveling and exploring.

When you make your vision board, be sure to include short and long term goals. I realized that I was planning larger trips but not day trips. I live in a great part of the world, the southern US, and haven’t seen near as much of it as I should. Those things are on my short list.

Living near Chattanooga, TN is a wonderful opportunity to do day trips and see some great things. So I took the 30 minute drive and checked out some local culture and quisine.

Hunter Museum was a landmark I’d always wanted to visit but never got around to. The beauty of the old (art and mansion) transposed with the new (art and Art Deco modern building) was nicely melded and a beautiful place.

Just a few steps away is a myriad of eateries to soak up the local color. I chose Tony’s Pasta. Situated in a Victorian carriage house of an old mansion in the Bluffview Art District, it is a step back in time. I was lucky enough to sit on the terrace. Handmade pastas and a great selection of wines made for a nice filling lunch.

Now think about your own vision board…where do you wanna be and what do you wanna be doing in one year, 5 years, 10 years? I saw a great quote on Pinterest the other day that sums it up (warning…curse words to come!).

Now…GET BUSY DOING…that was mostly for me because it’s 1:30pm and I’m still in pajamas doing my “exploring” on the Internet.

I suck at relationships! It’s true. I’ve had great men, not so great men, and downright awful-for-me men. I suppose everyone that gets to my age has the same batting average but people do find a life partner sometimes. I’d like to think I’m a smart girl. I have a career, my own money, and I take a shower everyday. So, why can’t I do it?

There was a time when I blamed it on the men…but the reality is if I’m honest…I am the common denominator. Now I know what you’re thinking…she has used a math metaphor…this is bad! Since I try to find the good/positive/funny in most things, I’m going with I have just answered the age-old question of “how will I ever use this math in my real life???”….well, there it was!

Now, back to my inability to find a good man. Way, way back, my ex-mother-in-law said “she’s as independent as a pig in mud!” My immediate reaction was, “did she just call me fat?” So, I wonder if I am TOO independent? Do men find that “not needy at all” quality off-putting? I find they like it…at first…and then it becomes less endearing.

I’ve had this discussion with several of my gal friends. A couple of them have mastered the balance and a couple are in the same boat as I am…drifting aimlessly in a sea of potential catches…waiting for the collision.

Now, logically I know that I don’t need a man to be whole. But it would be nice to have someone to travel with; have dinner with; and share my life with on a regular basis. I’ve done online dating (that is its own blog altogether) and I’ve tried every other route, but it never seems to move forward.

Several thoughts occur to me…do you only get so many chances in this lifetime and have I used mine up? If we are doomed to repeat our mistakes until we get it right, I’m gonna need another lifetime. Do some people just settle because they’re tired of looking? At what point will I say, “f-it, I’m done” and truly be satisfied?