Ladies of the ’80s

Here at Chickipedia, we’ve dedicated our lives to the study of babes. If there’s one thing that we’ve learned throughout our discourse, it’s that babes will overcome all obstacles, and we offer up the 1980’s as proof. The ’80’s were a time of awful hair, terrible fashion, and music, television, and movies that often dangled perilously between completely awesome and really, really terrible. But through the flourescent clothing, acid-washed jeans, side ponytails, legwarmers, and huge hair, babes managed to shine through. Here are some of the Top Ladies of The 80’s:

You can’t have a list of ’80’s chicks without the inclusion of Madonna. She’s arguably the most prolific female recording artist ever, and continues to be successful as a musician, actress, and activist. Madonna thrust herself into the limelight with a cunning business sense, a unique look, and some raw talent. She’s become a staple of the public eye for all the same reasons, plus a pretty decent fake british accent to boot. Madonna practically invented the idea of an ’80’s pop sex symbol, and she’s been riding the subsequent tidal wave for almost thirty years now.

Molly Ringwald’s success as an actor in the ’80’s may (ironically) be due to the fact that she was decidedly un-’80’s. In a time of crazed eccentricity and incredible fashion overkill, Molly was most often portrayed as a relatively normal teenage girl. As it turns out, we liked that. Molly’s characters tuned in to exactly what her audience was looking for: the hot, but realistically attainable, girl next door. Her performances greatly influenced teen-oriented television and movies that would follow in the 1990’s, although her spin-offs would sport about 80% more flannel.

Lisa was best known back then for the role of Denise Huxtable on The Cosby Show and its spinoff, A Different World. However, our jello-loving friend Bill Cosby basically disowned her after her appearance in the 1987 voodoo film Angel Heart, in which Lisa and Mickey Rourke engaged in a very graphic and fairly blood-drenched sex scene. Lisa broke the mold by being one of the few things that Bill Cosby abandoned and the public (at least, some of it) embraced even more. Lisa’s fascinating good looks and magnetic charm were enough to overpower even a negative Bill Cosby endorsement. In the ’80’s, that was quite an accomplishment.

If you haven’t seen Cates climbing out of the pool in 1982’s Fast Times at Ridgemont High, you should probably just stop reading this and search for that clip that right now. We’ll wait. After a string of films such as Gremlins, Drop Dead Fred and Heart of Dixie, Cates left show business to become a full time mother after she married actor Kevin Kline (who is the luckiest man in the world). In 2005, Cates opened her own boutique called Blue Tree on New York’s Madison Avenue.

Let’s face it: if we were ever going to hack into a government computer program and create a woman to our exact specifications using a combination of ’80’s technology and magic, we would want her to look exactly like Kelly LeBrock. Kelly was one of the hottest, most coveted chicks to walk this earth. Just ask Steven Seagal. In 2005, Kelly had a resurgence, becoming a contestant on VH-1’s Celebrity Fit Club, where she and other…um,…classic celebrities tried to lose weight while all of America watched and laughed. Still, we owe Kelly a debt of gratitude for giving us a glimmer of hope every day that maybe, just maybe, gym class might be super hot.

There are some things in life that even science can’t explain. How big is the universe? Where do babies come from? How has Heather Locklear been incredibly hot for upwards of thirty years? Heather is best known for her roles in Dallas, Melrose Place, andThe Return of Swamp Thing. Well, maybe not so much from Swampy, but that movie was still pretty awesome. With a track record of consistent hotness dating all the way back to the ’80’s, Heather has proven herself to be one remarkable babe.

Brooke Shields graced the cover of Vogue magazine when she was only 14 years old. Her break out movie role in the film Pretty Baby stirred a great deal of controversy, because Brook was only 13 at the time. At 15, she starred in Blue Lagoon, a movie that had a decent amount of nudity…oh, and incest. Brooke would later have to testify before congress, explaining that body doubles of legal age were used for the nude scenes. Since then, Brooke has been a constant figure in the public eye. She’s acted in just about all mediums and has dated some of the biggest stars of our time. These days, she’s doing television again, with a starring role on Lipstick Jungle, and she’s being featured in Volkwagen ads. She’s got a wicked sense of humor, and has still maintained her stunning good looks, with one major improvement: now she’s definitely legal!