So TMZ and The Smoking Gun both reported yesterday that not only was Charles Barkley driving drunk, but he was also trying to pick up a woman so he could receive oral sex. The details are still a bit sketchy, but the officer who pulled Barkley over has written a report on the incident had this to say….

“He told me that he ran the stop sign because he was in a hurry to pick up the girl I saw get in the passenger seat.”

The officer continues: “He asked me to admit that she was ‘hot.’ He asked me, ‘You want the truth?’ When I told him I did he said, ‘I was gonna drive around the corner and get a b**w job. He then explained that she had given him a ‘b**w job’ one week earlier and said it was the best one he had ever had in his life.”

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The report says when Barkley was taken to the station, he told one of the employees, “I’ll tattoo my name on your ass” if he helped “get him out of the DUI.” According to the report, “He laughed and then quickly corrected himself and said, ‘I’ll tattoo your name on my ass’ and then laughed again.”

The report also says officers “found a handgun in the vehicle” which was immediately impounded. The report doesn’t say if the handgun was legal or not, and the only thing that we know for sure was loaded…

Well then. It’s hard to tell if said woman was a prostitute or not but either way it sounds as if Barkley was having a heck of an evening. The guy is a class clown, so he could have been joking, but it doesn’t seem as if the officer is/was taking it that way.