A lady came up to me in the grocery store and told me she had a "psychic flash" that I need to get Walter's ears checked. Um, no thanks.

What?!?! Hahaha how weird. Now that is truly random.

Kai was walking around the house yesterday laughing hysterically for no reason. Like literally just walking around giggling his head off all day. Then we went out, and he sat in his car seat in the back seat alone, laughing hysterically! It was adorable, but after a while I began to worry my son was losing it! (he didn't do it today)

_________________I'm not asking for utopian dreams...just a little peace in this world. That's a logical thing. - Deee-Lite

How do you guys get around with your kids? I live in a really spread out city that has sort of decent public transport. I don't drive (no car! partner uses it for work), so I bus them around when I need to take them somewhere. I don't have a stroller, because there's no elevator in my apartment, and I can't reasonably carry a stroller, my baby, and whatever diaper bag, shopping bag, etc I may have up and down the stairs myself.

So I usually take Zephyr in a wrap carrier, Isaiah walks and holds my hand, and I carry a diaper bag with me. This isn't too bad if I want to just take Isaiah to the playground, but if I need to pick up a few things from the grocery store or something, it's hard to navigate the bus/etc with bags and a baby on my front and trying to hang on to my four-year-old. (Yeah, I do most of the grocery shopping with my partner when he's off work so we can drive.)

Maybe I should get a different diaper bag so I can free up a hand? I have a messenger style one, with a shoulder strap, but my shoulders aren't that wide, so with the wrap on, I can't cross it over myself and it dangles precariously on my shoulder and slides down my arm when I hold my son's hand. I don't know, but now that I've read over this, I feel ridiculous for whining about it, because it doesn't seem like a big deal and maybe I should just be able to be super mom and carry both children and 10 bags of groceries while navigating public transport while smiling and singing to my baby, who is comfortably feeding as I wear him. Bah. But really, any advice would be welcome. Maybe I'm totally missing a super obvious solution. /rant

_________________when you realise how perfect everything is, you will tilt you head back and laugh at the sky. -buddha

Hmm. I'd be pretty tempted to see if I could get a stroller to work for me somehow, in that situation. Like go downstairs with the stroller alone, leave it in the lobby, and then make a second trip with the kiddos plus diaper bag. That could be tough if you're up on the 4th floor though....

(And seriously, my hat off to you too, bodhi. I'm feeling tired just thinking about schlepping all that....)

I have just the one kid, but couldn't manage without some way to put her down or the stuff I'm carrying down. The stroller is good because you don't have to put the kid in it - you can put your grocery bags or whatever in it. We also have a diaper bag that hooks onto the stroller conveniently.

Another alternative would be to get one of those little rolly carts for groceries. You can toss your diaper bag in there and Isaiah might even like pushing it.

Bodhi, we're in a very similar situation. I've pretty much given up on the bus excePt for when something is really, really too far to walk. It's too much for me to get the Emperor on and off safely while holding crepe.

I wear a backpack for a bag when I carry the Magician on my front. One pocket for diapers, one for E's snack and stuff, and then one more to jam groceries or whatever into. It works to a point.

We also go out with E's red wagon a lot. Cheaper than a stroller, and I can pack a HUGE amount of groceries into it. E thinks it's fun to ride in too, which helps... And I only need one hand to pull it. I love that mother forking wagon.

I have huge anxiety about my older son being "that kid" at stores (my own paranoia, not based on his behavior) so unless I don't have the baby or there's a cart (grocery store) or I have a backup adult, I don't go in.

However, I do think it's damn near impossible to do kids with no way to drag/push the bigger one around from point to point. That's not just you!

We have a stroller that folds up and has a strap you can put over your arm, I can't remember the model, right now, some kind of mclaren. I would probably get a back pack too. I just have one kid but I can fit a lot into the bob stroller, is there an area n your building you could stash the stroller?

I feel your pain, bodhi. We don't have a car at all (but I only have one kid). Maybe get a lightweight umbrella stroller for the older kid? Like littlebear said they fold up and have a strap. The one we have weighs eleven pounds but there are lighter ones. I can take mine easily on the bus and subway by myself. Like I said, I only have one kid so maybe even that is unrealistic. I keep our big stroller in the basement of my apartment building in our bike parking space. I don't think that's totally legit, but there is plenty of room and no one has said anything in 8 months. I just fold it next to the bike and make sure nothing is in anyone's way. Maybe there is a space for you to stash a stroller downstairs, too? Strollers make buying groceries much easier, and this is coming from someone a little obsessed with baby wearing. A lot of times I wear the baby and put the bags, buckled and everything, into the stroller. I also use a backpack; the messenger style did not work for me juggling the baby.

I feel like such a jerk for cancelling on friends because Leela is asleep, but she was so cranky and exhausted and clingy that I saw no value in waking her up to take her out and inflict her on other people.

My friends who were hosting both don't have children, and there was a discernible frostiness when I cancelled. I wish I could have just given them a preview of the inevitable misery that would have ensued had I brought her.

We went swimming this am, and she was a doll but apparently swimming just takes it right out of her.

_________________My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.

Aww, Tofulish, that's so rough. People without kids don't realize the impact of a kid not napping. It would be miserable for everyone involved. You're a good person for being so thoughtful!

And thanks, everyone for all the support! I really appreciate it. I think I will find a backpack and see if that helps a bit. My older son doesn't need a stroller, so if I were to get one, it'd be the larger kind for infants. I live in a small apartment building, so no lobby (just the entryway with mailboxes and then stairs) and parking is outside, so I wouldn't be able to store it. Also looking into a different baby carrier, because now that Zephyr's a little bigger, he is starting to dislike getting into this one, which makes leaving to go out super stressful (because of timing with buses/etc). Anyway, I think we can make this work. Thanks for all the suggestions!

_________________when you realise how perfect everything is, you will tilt you head back and laugh at the sky. -buddha

I don't know if you have a Baby Wearers Group, but ours has been invaluable. The members get together and everyone brings carriers so you can actually try them out with your baby to see where you get the best fit, and the experienced awesome moms will help you adjust etc. Is this the right one for your area? https://www.facebook.com/groups/victoria.babywearers/

I definitely think the backpack makes stuff so much easier than a diaperbag that slips around. I have wallet, phone, keys, 2 diaps, 1 cover, one box of snacks (just cut up veg), one bottle of water on the side, one wetbag in it (okay, I use a large ziplock bag :) ). I do also have a SkipHop diaper mat for all those times you end up in a filthy bathroom with nowhere to change your baby. I am a minimalist!

You are really quite the super-woman managing 2 littles, public transportation and shopping! I hope you find the support you need!

And thank you for the kind words. I feel like such a jerk, but I really don't see waking her as a tolerable alternative. Kidlet needs her sleep!

_________________My oven is bigger on the inside, and it produces lots of wibbly wobbly, cake wakey... stuff. - The PoopieB.

If you do decide that a stroller might help you bodhi, some of the higher end Maclaren umbrella strollers are suitable even for newborns since they fully recline, but are still fairly lightweight and fold up small with a convenient shoulder strap. That's what I got for traveling when my daughter was 4 months old, and I bought a used one off Craigslist for relatively cheap.

my current apartment is a 2nd floor walk up, so normally i just carry the stroller, kid and bag up in one go.

when tzipi was littler, we lived in a 3rd floor walk up and i didn't own a stroller until she was almost a year. i used a rolly cart for groceries, and left the cart at the bottom of the stairs, walked tzipi in the carrier up, put her down in a play pen, and then unloaded the other stuff in one or two trips. once i got a stroller, i'd take the stroller down first, then go back up and get tzipi and our bag. i also did the trips with tzipi still in the carrier sometimes (i.e one trip up with baby, carrier, and bags, one trip up with baby, carrier and stroller). it was exhausting, but less exhausting than trying to spend the whole trip juggling everything.

especially if you're having to drag an occasionally uncooperative older kid around, i'd look for a cheap, second hand stroller and figure out if there's a relatively safe place you can leave it out for a while. unless your neighbourhood is ridiculously rough, i think you can usually leave a folded up stroller out on your landing or in front of your building for an hour or so until you're able to retrieve it. a lot of people around here have walk-ups and a solution i see sometimes is to use a bike lock on a railing.

How do you guys get around with your kids? I live in a really spread out city that has sort of decent public transport. I don't drive (no car! partner uses it for work), so I bus them around when I need to take them somewhere. I don't have a stroller, because there's no elevator in my apartment, and I can't reasonably carry a stroller, my baby, and whatever diaper bag, shopping bag, etc I may have up and down the stairs myself.

So I usually take Zephyr in a wrap carrier, Isaiah walks and holds my hand, and I carry a diaper bag with me. This isn't too bad if I want to just take Isaiah to the playground, but if I need to pick up a few things from the grocery store or something, it's hard to navigate the bus/etc with bags and a baby on my front and trying to hang on to my four-year-old. (Yeah, I do most of the grocery shopping with my partner when he's off work so we can drive.)

Maybe I should get a different diaper bag so I can free up a hand? I have a messenger style one, with a shoulder strap, but my shoulders aren't that wide, so with the wrap on, I can't cross it over myself and it dangles precariously on my shoulder and slides down my arm when I hold my son's hand. I don't know, but now that I've read over this, I feel ridiculous for whining about it, because it doesn't seem like a big deal and maybe I should just be able to be super mom and carry both children and 10 bags of groceries while navigating public transport while smiling and singing to my baby, who is comfortably feeding as I wear him. Bah. But really, any advice would be welcome. Maybe I'm totally missing a super obvious solution. /rant

What do you put in your diaper bag? I realised all I needed were extra diapers, wipes, snacks, and a changing pad, so I got a smaller changing pad (free in a magazine), put some wipes in a ziplock sandwich bag, put diapers, wipes, and the pad into a bigger ziplock bag, and then knelt on it while I zip-locked it so all the air was pushed out. That was small enough to fit into my (kind of big, but not huge) handbag, along with some snacks (I usually do granola bars) and reusable grocery bags. Sometimes I can squeeze in a child's-size water bottle, too.

I also don't have a car and HATE strollers (I got one on freecycle when I was pregnant with #2 and Beety and I both hated it, so we re-freecycled it). Both my kids seem to walk way more than other kids their age and I am sure it's because I never had them in strollers. I used baby carriers and as soon as they could walk, I started transitioning them. I'd walk them around as much as I could and then stick them in the carrier when they started getting fussy or tired.

I'm not gonna lie -- going out with a kid in a carrier and a wild kid on my arm wasn't easy, but once Beetroot got past the running away stage, it got a lot easier and is even easier now that Raygold can walk everywhere. I also put both my kids in the cart. Beety usually goes in the back with the groceries and Raygold either rides in front or in the back now that he is older. It's not easy walking with two huge bag-for-life grocery bags, a kid in a carrier, holding another kid's hand, and having a handbag over my shoulder, but it's do-able. I also found having the right baby carrier made a big difference.

Oh, yeah, re: leaving strollers etc out: we leave the wagon outside of grocery stores etc all the time but lock it up with a bike lock. It would be easy enough for someone to pop the handle off the wagon (or just cut the lock) but I like to think it would give a would be thief a moment of pause. We do seriously have stroller thefts in our town so, yeah. Santa Cruz can be kinda sketchy.

The Emperor is a great walker-- he too has never had a stroller-- but I feel safer when encumbered with a ton of groceries if I have him somewhere fixed. Also, sometimes he pulls the wagon for me, which is both efficient and adorable.

Thanks for all the ideas, everyone! I got a new carrier that Zephyr likes a lot better, and it's much quicker to put on/take off/etc. There really isn't a place to put a stroller - it's just stairs then a small landing with a doorway that leads outside onto the sidewalk/street, and it's right next door to a secondary school (not that students would need a stroller, but they sometimes do dumb things). I don't particularly like strollers anyway, so I think I'll be okay without one still, but really lovely advice from all of you. I know what to do if I decide to get one later on. I will definitely find a backpack to replace my diaper bag though. Between that and having a different carrier, I'll have two free hands again to carry things/hold my kid's hand. Awesome. Thanks so much to everyone!

-Typing up this post totally gave me a flashback to when my oldest was little. We lived on the 4th floor, and there was an elevator, which was super sketch (sometimes the light went out/was broken/blah blah) though it worked most of the time. I took Izzy down in the elevator in his stroller so I could grab some groceries. It's only about a 10 minute walk (with a baby) to the store. So I got back, and the elevator's light had gone out. Way too sketchy to get in. So I pulled my groceries out of the stroller, pulled the car seat off the stroller, loaded up my arms, folded down the stroller, and dragged it up four flights of stairs. I can totally do this sans stroller.

_________________when you realise how perfect everything is, you will tilt you head back and laugh at the sky. -buddha

What do you guys do with a really young baby while they're awake? It seems like Scarlett would be happy to sleep all day when she's not nursing, but I think it's time to try keeping her up a little more during the day so she sleeps more at night. We do a little tummy time, but she's doesn't like it for very long; we read her books but she tends to be more interested in staring at the ceiling; I made her a mobile that's above her changing table, and she loves staring at it while it's being blown around by a fan, so we'll strap her in and let her hang out there for a little while; we give her a bath after dinner. Otherwise, I don't really know what to do with her! I love to go for walks but the second I put her in a carrier she falls asleep. Does it make sense to try to keep her awake more? Yesterday my mother-in-law told me that all babies should sleep through the night by 8 weeks. Isn't she funny?

I was just wondering this too. Zephyr's only a month old, so he isn't really up for playing yet. I could probably get him to sleep almost all day if I tried, but I feel like he should be awake sometimes though! I haven't tried it yet, but apparently a good activity for babies this age is to set them on a nice soft blanket next to a wall where there is a mirror they can see into.

For us, if it weren't so hot, I'd think that wearing baby while doing regular stuff (laundry, starting dinner - ie getting out ingredients, etc, not cooking with heat!) would be good so baby is close but can watch a little bit or just rest. Bus rides are good, too, since it's got A/C, and Zephyr can see lots of people if he's on my lap or through the side of his carrier.

Also, mooo, your MIL is hilarious.

_________________when you realise how perfect everything is, you will tilt you head back and laugh at the sky. -buddha

Ha ha ha moooo. Your mother in law is like a cartoon about bad mothers in law.

I wondered this all the time when the Emperor was a baby. My conclusion over time is that it pretty much doesn't matter what you do with a really little baby. Do whatever you want to do. Go sit at a coffee shop and enjoy a coffee while your baby's too little to grab the cup. Take her to the park and lay her on a blanket to look at the tree branches/clouds etc while you knit and chat with her. Stuff like that. Enjoy her not needing much from you beyond snuggles and milk!