7 Extremely Valuable Money-Saving Tips From the Rich

This economy, I tell ya, it's tough. Everyone is feeling it, and I mean EVERYONE. Why, just today I came across these money-saving tips from some bankers and their wives. "Both bankers and their once free-spending wives are suddenly becoming familiar with the art of thriftiness," the article reads. DO TELL! "This is what they have imparted. We hope it is of use."

Oh man. I cannot wait to read these frugal living tips from the bankers and their wives. This is going to be good.

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Here's a few of my favorite tips:

1. Go on a clothes diet. One wife divorcing her banker learned she was spending $4,500 a month shopping for clothes. And you know what? You could easily cut that clothing budget in half with a minimum of social embarrassment. Just go out half as often.

2. Yank the kids out of private school and send them to public school. I think if you ask the Internet? Or your driver? You can find one near you. I hear some public schools even have books and stuff.

3. Start ironing. That's right, do your own have your wife do your ironing. Maybe even learn how the washing machine works. That thing next to it is the dryer, and it makes your clean clothes dry again. This equipment is very dangerous, so have your maid show you how to work it before attempting to do your laundry. Caution: That iron is extremely hot. But only if you plug it in and turn it on. See also: Cook your own food.

4. Travel more cheaply. Instead of paying someone to whisk your child away so you can ski in peace, drink a lot of mulled wine, and flirt with the ski instructors, consider actually skiing with your child. SIGH. “Everyone’s going down market -- even my mate who’s got more money than God.” Says someone who doesn't know what they sound like when they talk. Consider mooching off your richer friends instead of paying for a hotel. One London family who always travels to the Maldives every year visited friends in New York instead and saved over $24,000!

5. Consider selling your extra homes. Dear God. Not that!

6. Make your Real Housewife of Something get a job. Because apparently in this world, only men are bankers. Think this "working" thing is going to go over with the ladyfolk? We'll have to wait and see.