UNFUCKWITHABLE: A Guide to Inspired Badassery

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I Am Forgiving Part One

With all the nastiness and snarky comments from people this past weekend over the incident where Josh Homme of Queens of the Stone Age kicked a photographer’s camera and it in turn, struck her head, I feel obliged to speak up on this matter being a women in the rock industry, because I’ve seen a lot. And if you don’t like it, you can kindly kiss my ass. And you can also keep your shitty comments to yourself.

I’ve seen Homme a handful of times. I am a fan of not only QOTSA and Eagles of Death Metal, but I am also a fan of Homme, and this weekend, after his heartfelt PUBLIC apology (which he really didn’t have to do…when’s the last time you saw something like that from any other rock star who fucked up?), he has certainly secured a spot in my heart. Oh, and yes, I am pro-photography, pro-female, pro-rock n roll, pro all that shit. But I’m not pro “let’s just air what we think over social media because we have nothing better to do.” Furthermore, you can take all your nasty “has been” comments and shove them up your ass, because for Homme, he’s still showing up, still creating music, and still putting on kick ass shows. What the fuck are YOU doing?

For those of you with your judgmental opinions about the rock n roll industry, what he did, his “intention” to do it, and your refusal to forgive such behavior, I feel it’s all just such bullshit and many of you, while not being in the public eye, have done things just as shitty, if not worse, especially if you’ve had a few drinks in you. And anyone who watches the performance can clearly see he was fucked up. When you combine having multiple cocktails in you, a party where nearly all of your rock peers are around you, PLUS being on stage and in the moment of rock n roll, shit happens sometimes. This was clearly the case with him.

In addition to his public apology, none of you KNOW what “more” he is doing for the photographer, which from what I know of Homme, will be SOMETHING. (He’ll most likely be taking care of her shit…but again, none of you know anything about him.)

My question is this: What gives ANY of us any right to judge? I’m lumping myself in this category just so I don’t seem like an asshole, but truly, none of you have ZERO idea what was going through his head at the time. I have been mean and nasty to people before. I have talked bad about people before. I have been in positions where I was not showing the best of my human nature before. All of these not so great moments have led me in the direction to some real life wake-up calls, and Homme EXPRESSES this in his video.

So how about we take today, and maybe be less judgey and be more fucking lovey?

In my upcoming book, Unkcufwithable, there are two chapters on how forgiveness is a magic pill of awesome. If you fuck up, do you want people to forgive you? Or would you prefer to be judged entirely on one incident and written off completely? At least he had the balls to own up to his mistake. So, hey Josh, if you’re out there and happen to be reading this…thank you for your music. Thank you for your apology that had nothing to do with me personally. Thank you for showing up when it was clearly something that couldn’t have been easy. And fuck everyone else’s opinions, including mine, because you gotta do you, in whatever manner that looks like.

(Photo by me (not professional at ALL) at the Benefit for Dave Rosser of Afghan Whigs from The Regency Theater in Los Angeles, 2016.)