Emotional Fitness: Biggest mistakes in dating

For those who are entering or re-entering the dating world, it can seem like a minefield. The do's and don'ts have shifted some over the years, but avoiding the following is always a good idea:

• Talking about your ex, your conquests, or yourself too much. This would be considered TMI; no one really likes to be compared to someone in your past, and the best way to get to know someone is to ask questions. Most people find it flattering that you want to know more about them. Go easy and don't make it seem like an interrogation or a therapy session.

• Getting drunk. Whether you throw up or not. Getting smashed early on could easily ruin your chances. However, if both you and your date like the idea, perhaps you should consider a 12-step meeting over a movie.

• Having sex too soon. These days it can kill you, but most likely it will kill the other person's desire. Rule of thumb is that you spend at least 36 hours talking and getting to know each other before jumping into bed. And yes, you do need to ask those sexual history questions. It's awkward, but necessary.

• Talking on your phone or texting. Taking calls or doing more than glancing at your phone to see who called or sent a message is just plain rude. Besides, the person you are with is going think that you aren't that interested in him or her if you spend the entire evening gazing lovingly into the retinal display of your iPhone.

• Forgetting your wallet. Even if your date has invited you and offered to pay, you should at least be prepared to offer to split the bill or leave the tip. There also is the possibility that you will need some cash to catch a cab in case your date is a dud.

• Not taking a shower or bath. OK, I know this seems obvious to many people, but if you think you are at your best right after a run or a tennis game, think again. Though you might feel great internally, the person you are meeting may not appreciate it the same way. Get yourself neat and clean before you try to impress a potential new love.

• Coming on too strong. So you think you really like the person you are seeing. You want to reach out and touch or hold him or her; you want to take this person away with you. Best advice here is to hold back until you know the feelings are mutual. For many, being too forward or flirty is a red flag.

The idea here is to make as few mistakes as possible and don't beat yourself up if you step in it a time or two. When that happens, remind yourself that you're getting out there and looking for someone. That is a brave and wonderful thing to do, and your life will be a sweeter place to be.