It was our wedding venue who caved first and got in touch telling us that they cannot host our wedding on the 28th March 2020, but they also said that they won’t give us a refund… #SozNotSoz. So not only am I remaining a spinster, but I’m also out of thousands of pounds. God is so great, right guys?

Our honeybobs to Mexico is being refunded (thanks TUI!) so we thought maybe of doing an epic road trip to Scotland but then that might be tricky cause of this lock down shiz, then we thought about going to Suz’s parents cause they’ve got a hot tub and a fluffy dog but we’re all supposed to be self isolating.

Picture this, me, Suz and 6 VERY LARGE jars of wedding sweets in a flat for weeks with nothing but depression and cigarettes. Oh how we have reached a new low in our lives.

Yeah, no on in our family has died so that’s really all that matters but if they had died then at least the insurance company would pay out… lolz

Anyway, Tesco have just stopped doing their fat Easter eggs for £2 at the moment so that adds to the bollocks. Anyhoo I’m going to wallow in my pit of shit and ONLY AFTER I’ve exhausted all the benefits of being at the lowest point ever will I start building up my life again. Properly this time, with veg and good thoughts and all that shit.

I can’t stop eating and Suz can’t stop online shopping. So by the time this is over I’ll be fat and she’ll be broke. Who are we kidding? Fatter and broker…

We have been super duper lucky because a few of our wedding presents arrived early. To the people who got us these wonderful gifts, thank you and also NO REFUNDS NO TAKESYBACKSY! We got a hamper of chocolate which lasted 12 hours, no that seems too long, must have been 12 minutes.

I’m not sure how our relationship is going to survive the next few months so there might not be another wedding which is ok because we’ve already eaten all the wedding sweets.

Thank you to some of our family and friends who have reached out to us and sent us their love and stuff cause that’s been really lovely, so thank you. And if you want to make sure we’re really ok then keep buying stuff off that wedding list people.