Change

Change. It’s something everyone has in their lives, whether it be big or small. Some people embrace it, others fight it. This month, I started a new career. Pretty big change huh? Because for the previous 21 years and 267 days I had been a proud member of the Royal Australian Air Force. But just like the relationship with my ex-husband, the Air Force and I were growing in two different directions. We still cared about each other we just couldn’t be so much in each others lives anymore. I observed my rollercoaster of emotions in the final two weeks with interest. I was elated that I had the courage to take this step. I was angry that this relationship was somewhat over. I was saddened that we had split up the way we had. I was emotional when people started saying such wonderful things to me when they found out I was leaving. I got grumpy with the transitions cell wanting to see me one more time with that damn form. I desperately wanted someone to say “don’t go! I’ll change!! I promise” all the while knowing those promises would be empty.

I was glad I took a week off before starting my new job. But I really should have listened to others and taken a bit more. The week I had off, was the week of ANZAC Day and it was a BIG day. Emotionally, being the last in (but not in) uniform. The first one I had voluntarily decided to march in. And it was a long day. I was picked up at 0415 and dropped home at 2030 (830pm for the civilian types). The day was spent with great friends and probably one of the best ANZAC Day’s I’ve had in recent times. But I was exhausted at the end of it. Should have taken more time off. Anyway, it is what it is and now I’m where I’m at.

I caught up with a friend a couple of weekends ago for coffee, ironically, who is also facing a massive change. It was great to catch up and just talk rubbish for a while. I realized then, that my biggest problem in life at that very point in time was that I’m going to have to pick out an outfit to wear every day now. Considering the last couple of years where things haven’t been so great, my anxiety had climbed up Mt Kosciusko (something I’d like to do myself) and was waving at me saying “look at me up here!! I’ve peaked!!!” and life just didn’t feel fantastic. It was an amazing feeling to have my wardrobe choices be my first world problem.

Fitness For Wellness has been going great the last few months, new clients are regularly joining (and coming back which is great), classes are constantly booking out, I’ve been sneaking in extra classes where I can just so everyone can attend. The love and support I feel from this community has been awesome. You are a wonderful group of people and I’m so glad you all found your way into the tribe that is Fitness For Wellness.

Something I probably should have learned a while back now, is that when everything is going so great, maybe not let the universe know. I really feel like the universe caught a look at life for me recently and went “hang on just a minute! You need some extra stress, let me just whip something up here”. Universe, you are a jerk. Those of you that know me, know what the universe whipped up. I’m not going into specifics here to publish to the world. It’s a little raw to be that open about it all just now on the interwebs. But it is another change. It’s a change I have no control over. This is literally “strap in and hold on for the ride” type of change. To be honest, I don’t even really know how to feel about it. I tell myself I’ve been mentally prepared for this but really, its just something I’m telling myself.

I was travelling with my new colleagues recently and change came up in conversation. It made me laugh actually. People, including myself, often say how flexible they are with change. Some changes, yes I am very flexible with and not much phases me. I suppose the changes in which I can be flexible about, are the ones that don’t sit so close to my heart and to my values. Change that challenges your values can be the hardest change to make. Let’s take weight loss as an example. You know you have to make changes to your lifestyle in order to lose weight. Whether that be what you eat, how much you exercise, it is a change that must be had. But I’m over here in my comfort zone, eating my comfort food, curled up on the couch under a blanket instead of making good choices about food or moving my body. That’s comfortable and that makes me feel safe to do those things. But I’ll still whine to my trainer and my friends that I’m not losing weight. Nothing changes if nothing changes. Bottom line.

Change can be uncomfortable. For some, it can be downright torture just thinking about what needs to be done. But if you go at it the right way, it can actually be a really great experience. I think with all change, if you have all the information you need to make an educated way forward, the change can be less intimidating. Some change, you just have no control over so the information you gather may serve no more than to give you a bit of comfort.

I know a lot of my readers want to be somewhere else in their life. They don’t want to stay the same. I know they struggle with the concept of stepping outside of their comfort zone. Well, to be honest, I do too. So let me highlight the tools that you have at your disposal that will make change a little more comfortable. You have this amazing community that will support you no matter the direction you take. They may also offer you some advice, perhaps having been down the same path before. You are not alone, not by a long shot. Talk about your change and the direction you want to take. The more you talk about it, the more familiar it feels and rather than being that creepy metaphorical weirdo staring at you inappropriately, it will feel more like a friend you really want to get to know better. There is nothing you need that you don’t already have inside you. That’s actually a quote but I can’t remember who said it. Dig deep, look inside you to see what you are capable of. Then take that first step. To change. One small step at time. Crawl if you have to but keep going forward. Next thing you know, you are well on your way to accepting the change in your life without standing at the top of Mt Kosciusko with your anxiety waving at everyone. Have the courage to take the steps, and maybe sometime in the summer, we will all climb Mt Kosciusko together without the extra baggage of our anxieties.