Check out (above) this very enlightening interview with JetBlue diva Steven Slater's ex-wife Cynthia Susanne, who is shoots down many passengers' claims that the flight attendant instigated the meltdown!

Unfortunately, it seems, the authorities don't seem to buy it, and even suggest that the former alcoholic was drinking BEFORE the incident!

An official claims:

"He got on with issues. When they were boarding he was very obnoxious."

Hmmm - this is a difficult one to call! Cynthia, however, seems very well-spoken and truly believes that it must have been an obnoxious passenger, so we're going to side with she and Steven on this one!

Responding to reports from this morning that Lindsay Lohan isn't in compliance with her probation, Shawn Chapman Holley, LiLo's lawyer, insisted that her client hasn't violated any of her court ordered requirements, including attending alcohol education classes.

LiLo's attorney told sources:

"Though there have been occasional weeks when Lindsay has missed her alcohol treatment class, she has always managed to make up the class the following week by attending two classes.

For this reason, we contend that Ms. Lohan is in substantial compliance with the conditions of her probation."

Only one way to settle this one - ROLL CALL!

Let's take a gander at the attendance book. Then, we'll have the truth!

Psh. It's not called a relapse anymore when you're doing it every day!

David Hasselhoff is speaking out about his alcoholism, and seems to have forgotten all the times we've seen him drunk when he claims to have been sober!

He says:

"Unfortunately, I did have a brief relapse, but part of recovery is relapse. I am a recovering alcoholic. I knew as soon as I went into rehab, my reputation would be ruined. Things used to be different back then. If you asked for help you lost your good standing. Back then all the celebrities smoked and drank. Just think of Richard Burton or Humphrey Bogart. No one questioned them. Consumption used to be acceptable."

Sorry, Hoff, Humphrey Bogart and Richard Burton are the last people that come to mind when we think of you! And we doubt being an incomprehensible drunk was EVER acceptable, it may just have been more hush-hush!

In other, more interesting has-been news, the former Baywatch-er apparrently plans to move to an area of Germany that should be more prone to welcoming him than we would - an agricultural farm close to Kassel that's named HASSELHOF!

That's right, The Hoff is trying to learn about his ancestry, and had the brilliant notion that it may have started there!

A local man, Hermann-Josef Kaiser, says:

"If he wants to do some research here, he's absolutely welcome. I can provide him with a flat so he can do his research in peace and quiet. We would let him a hectare of land."

WTF??!

How crazy and AMAZEBALLS would it be if the Hoff left all of the glitz and booze glam of Hollywood behind to become a full-time farmer in Germany??

Supermodel Lara Stone learned real fast that she didn't want to turn into the hot mess that is Cokate Moss!

Lara recently confessed to Interview magazine that she nipped her nasty habits in the bum before letting herself spiral too far out of control.

Says the newly engaged model:

"The drinking was getting way out of control. I just didn't recognise myself any more. I didn't know what I was doing or where I was. I always had to have some drinks with me in my bag. Just waking up shaking and then having Bloody Marys on your own, first thing in the morning - I started to feel really pathetic about it. So I was like, 'I can't live like this.' It was just this really awful feeling of becoming a totally different person and not being able to control it at all. Then I tried to not drink, but that didn't work. So I figured I should just go to rehab."

And she did!

Even though Lara can proudly say she's been sober for 10 months, she recalls how violent she got while pAArtying it up:

"I used to love slapping people in the face when I was drunk. I thought it was really funny, so I did pick fights with doormen and bouncers. Ex boyfriends. But nobody ever punched me back."