Saturday, March 21, 2015

Feeling Bad Because I Had to Turn Down a Friend Today

Every once in a while, I get the
feeling I need to post and I’m not sure what I want to say. I start, anyway,
and see where my thoughts take me.

Tonight is one of those times. It wasn’t a bad day but
I didn’t get done half of what I planned to do. Still, something is better than
nothing.

I had to turn down a friend today. Maybe that’s what’s
bothering me. She is just getting over double pneumonia and is getting used to
carting around a portable tank 24/7 - she’s older than I am (82) but reasonably
healthy otherwise. We’ve taken to having me go with her these last few weeks,
to help when her legs and lungs get tired.

My problem is that I always have so many little things
(not big things) that I’m committed to and so I am not good with “sudden”
decisions to go to the store or on other errands. I had recently gone with her
to one of the large discount stores for her toiletries and other basic needs.
By the time we left, she was quite tired. So I hate to see her go alone.

But tomorrow, I have someone coming to pick up money I
owe him. He’s had me on gentle personal loan payments for almost a year. I’m
almost done. Just another 2 or 3 months. So I don’t want to make him come
another day. I can’t chance annoying him because of the way we have the papers
worded.

And I thought about Monday, but Monday, I must get to
the free senior food pantry by 8 a.m. and then be home for whenever this other
fellow calls and says he’s coming by. In this case, I do our monthly park
newsletter and we have little business card ads in the back and he’s bringing the money. It’s not my money, but I’m caretaker - it goes
toward the rubber bands and printing paper and staples and such. He’s got a
business and that’s the only day he can come by.

Meanwhile, I will also be starting the April
newsletter tomorrow and finishing Monday for proofreading Tuesday.

I'm sure now that is what is bothering me. I hate knowing she’s
going alone on a Sunday. I, myself, hate to go to Walmart or Smith’s on a
Sunday because it is more crowded. It’s not like I’m not going with her because
of something selfish - these are simply commitments from a while ago.

There’s not much I can do. So, here goes...

Sweet Jesus, you know what it’s like to be here on
earth and you know the differences in people, their personalities, their needs,
their worries. Please watch over my friend tomorrow because I cannot do it this
time. Please help her, if it be according to the Father’s will, to be able to
anticipate basic needs. I realize that sometimes things happen and we have to
handle errands on a moment’s notice, but this is not one of them. So, please,
be there with her, please, and bring her home safely?

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About Me

Pudgy little ol' lady who is grateful for what she's got and loves to share with others. Time-challenged, funds-challenged, but somehow finds a way to deal with it all. I've lived in 4 states (PA for 21 yrs, NJ for 17 yrs, CA for 15 yrs, and NV since '94). Married at 18, divorced at 21, no kids but helped raise several. Raised Catholic, fell away, came back and grateful for the second chance.