Communication is Key: Turn a Weakness into Strength

We have all heard the phrase ‘communication is key’ when we hear marriage advice. On the surface level, that’s easy to understand. But the fact is communication itself is just plain hard. In fact, it’s among the most common reasons that couples seek marriage counseling. In this post we’ll talk about what happens when a lack of communication is present. And we’ll talk about how you can turn a weakness in your marriage into a strength.

The downward spiral of communication

1. Poor communication

There are quite a few things that can happen when communication has gone downhill. On the way down, your communication becomes unhealthy. Rather than connecting, you constantly fight. You no longer listen to each other, and are only interested in getting your point across. And you perceive your partner as selfish. Rather than trying to understand each other, you just think your partner should “just know” what you need. This will eventually lead to the next scenario.

2. No communication

You start to just run-away. you became ‘glorified roommates.” This essentially means you live together, are married, but rarely take the time to connect, or talk about anything. You might get along just fine now, and hardly fight (if ever). But both of you have issues you want to resolve, and become unhappy. If you’re in this situation, you may be wondering if you should get a divorce. It is po

3. Separation

If this goes unchecked for too long, it often leads to divorce. Neither of you are happy, there is broken trust, no connection, and nothing is resolved. There doesn’t seem to be a lot of reason to stay at that point. Maybe kids, or finances are keeping you together, but you need to have each other. This is why communication is key. And effective communication.

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Turning a weakness it into strength

If you’re at this point, there is certainly a long road ahead, but it it is possible to turn things around. Hopefully we’ve convinced you that communication is key to a healthy marriage. Here are a few tips you can use to begin to rebuild communication lines with your partner.

1. Prioritize communication

The bad news is, this is something you ‘just have to do.’ You have to convince yourself that all the fighting and arguing that will occur will be worth the outcome. But the good news is, it WILL improve. If you need to tell your partner something, you just have to do it. Keep in mind that timing is important, and you want to make sure they are in a good place to have a discussion. This will keep unhealthy fighting down to a minimum. Don’t procrastinate. Set a time to talk about the issue, if you need to.

2. Learn to listen

This is a simple concept, but can be difficult in practice. So often, many of us listen to figure out what we are going to say in response, rather than to understand. Of course you need to respond to your partner, but when you listen to respond, it communicates that you are only interested in presenting your perspective, and not understanding theirs. Think about how you feel when your partner does it to you. Not great, right? So listen to them how you want to be listened to, and they should extend the courtesy.

3. Learn to fight effectively

Fighting effectively is one of the greatest skills you can learn in your marriage. It is an incredible feeling when you have a disagreement, and fix it without yelling, screaming, or saying things you regret. Effective communication is key here, and fair fighting is always a must.

4. Set aside time to connect

When things are rough, and you haven’t had to time to connect, set aside some time for each other. Spend some quality time with each other. Go on a date night, or set aside some time to go on a walk together. Basically, anything that will get you two away from distractions and in a position to focus only on each tother. This is a good way to get back into the groove of talking with each-other on a positive note.