The Death of Dad

By JT Waresak

According to the recent U.S. Census Bureau, 24 million children in America, one out of every three, live without their biological father present in their home. The statistics around dads in America share a common thread. They all point to the reality that fatherhood in America is a dying institution. At least, that’s exactly what the enemy wants you to think.

This past year we were told by mainstream media that a young man that chooses to be a married father has chosen an alternative lifestyle. This man happened to be a similar age when my wife and I had our first child. That was about 22 years ago. No one ever told me then that I was choosing an alternative way of living. Not that it would have changed anything.

As Christians, we know fatherhood is a gift that comes with great honor and blessing. Next to Christ and my wife, my children are my greatest life focus and joy. To have God’s blessing of raising the next generation is truly an awesome blessing. It is also an immense responsibility, or at least it should be.

“Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD...Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them...” Psalm 127:3, 5

Yet, let’s face it. To be a dedicated dad today is not an easy thing. For the past decade, the main media networks have presented most dads as self-centered bums. Not to say that we haven’t earned that mark at times. Even many children’s books today have followed suit in the dad-bashing arena. It's a sad thing that I find myself skipping pages in popular kid's books because of the way they present dads as bumbling idiots.

This is why I must relentlessly purpose a life that mirrors God’s Word and not the prevailing culture of our day. I must purpose to live a life that shows them what fatherhood really looks like. Regardless of what this world communicates to our kids about fathers, they'll know the truth surrounding the joy and honor of being a dad. Most significantly, they will see it in the way I love them.

As Christian dads, we are called to be in the world but not of the world. This means a life of constant tension. Numerous times in Scripture we are referred to as sojourners or aliens. The bottom line is that this is not our home. Yet, to live without this ongoing friction likely means a life of compromise. It won't be painless. Yet, my kids need to see me walk the talk. To be a devoted husband and father means an upstream swim in today’s cultural currents. But as I’ve learned in life, God often gets the greatest glory when He makes the impossible become possible (Mark 10:27).

As a sojourner dad, my fatherhood mission is not based on some TV show. Neither is it found in any Hollywood movie. My role model is my Heavenly Father and my mission is His. As I purpose to live for Him, He pours His purpose into my life. As I have found out over and over again, God is not limited by who I am. As I trust in Him, my life is unlimited by who He is (Philippians 4:13).

Regardless of the lies this culture uplifts, fatherhood remains one of the greatest life pursuits for any man. Just as motherhood is one of life’s greatest callings for a woman. To partner with my wife as we pursue to pour Christ into our homes and kids is one of the greatest life journeys we can take together. We know the life-long trek will have its ups and downs. We also know that as we trust God with our children, our children will have an opportunity to trust God with their lives in and through Jesus Christ. Together, this is our greatest life mission field we will likely ever serve.

Is fatherhood dying in America? Given the stats, in some ways it is. Yet, while we seem to be losing many fatherhood battles these days, the war is far from over. As fathers, we can choose to serve our Savior. In doing so, we can look to our children and tell them, “Follow me as I follow Christ.” Our wives and kids need to know that we will go to battle for them. As long as we have some dads following Christ in America, the blessing of fatherhood will continue to make an impact for generations to come.

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JT Waresak–a Christian, husband, dad, and digital guy–in that order.JT has been a part of family ministry for the past decade and serves as the Chief Operating Officer for Family Talk. He has an extensive business and ministry background. His writings and video productions have reached millions of people via social media. He is a graduate of Grace Theological Seminary and has authored several books on the topic of fatherhood, marriage, family, and missional living. Contact JT at jt@mineeo.com.

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