Contents

Quotes

Discovery

Garbage was discovered in 1970 by noted ecologist Dick Cheney who himself is garbage, (that helped him). Prior to the discovery of garbage, unwanted items and refuse were thought to be created by a process of "spontaneous generation". This theory held that waste was assembled at the subatomic level by exceptionally tiny flies. When exceptionally tiny flies were shown to exist only in close proximity to screen doors, scientists began the research which led to the discovery of the garbage molecule.

Uses

The discovery of garbage has opened the way to a number of significant techno advances. The theories of Nobe Peas Prize-winning physicist Carl The Sling Blade Guy showed that garbage can exist in verbal form, a breakthrough which allowed Republicans to use the internet for the first time ever. As a result, AOL's stock experienced record-setting orgspasms.

The use of garbage as a renewable fuel source has been enhanced by the discovery of a process which converts the contents of mobilehome lots into energy. Since 1983, over 20 million broken refrigerators and rusty transmissions have been recycled, allowing the energy demands of Bill Gates' mansion to be met a minimum of 16 days per year (and twice on Sundays). Also worth mentioning is that it can be used as an euphemism for the ubiquitous (of course, you dont have a choice), how to put it... remains of what you eat after it goes in... He oh well poop.

Garbage men also use garbage juice ( the green stuff that comes out the bottom of the sack ) as a very nutritional drink. If they are hungry they will also raid the bin until they find something like a banana peel.

Interesting Side Effects of Garbage

Just like all other elements have their spin-offs and variations (wind's duststorms, water's acid rain, etc.), garbage was the initial reason for the invention of the garbage can. While the garbage can was originally hailed as "The best thing since sliced bread", the variation of the garbage can, the dome-topped swinging door garbage can, was the inspiration for the popular cartoon character, The Juggernaut (Bitch). A dub of an episode of X-Men by a team of black people brought widespread fame to The Juggernaut character. One would be within their right to then claim that the element garbage is responsible for the Juggernaut, and also giving several black people a job, giving garbage +5 points over George W. Bush.

The Garbage Monster.

Criticism

As of this writing, garbage has never been publicly criticized. The public approval of garbage is illustrated by the popularity of The Jerry Springer Show, a highly-rated television program which features live elephants being devoured by polygynous lesbians.

Controversies

Some believed that garbage are just juck(what a morons, stupid peoples, fuckers!!). The garbage is one of the most beautifull things on the planet. It is more luxury to stay in a garbage can, than to sleep at night in one of the most luxorious Paris Hilton hotels in Copacabana.

Atomic Structure

The garbage molecule is composed of two helium atoms, one hydrogen atom and 14 Diet Coke cans. Leading physicist Habib Puddentane has theorized that the molecule is mildly unstable, although Puddentane himself is mildly unstable, having publicly threatened to "slap himself silly" over what he describes as "the rampant misuse of Kool-Aid™ products."