For $75 million you can have Siegel’s custom Florida mansion of 90,000 square feet. If you’re having trouble picturing such proportions, know that’s roughly two football fields, twice the size of the White House. Antonio Gonzales of the Associated Press reports that this mansion is thus “36 times the size of the average American family home. The master bedroom alone…is twice the size of a standard house.”

What fills up the space? Here’s a list:

Twenty-three bathrooms

Thirteen bedrooms

Ten kitchens

A 20+ car garage

Three pools

A bowling alley

An indoor skating rink

A two-story movie theater

A video arcade

A fitness center

A baseball field

Two tennis courts

Ah, but wait for what doesn’t fill up the space! When the economy took a dive, Siegel had to halt construction on his dream home, and put it up for sale well before it was actually finished.

Instead of stonewalled gates, a chain link fence…keeps onlookers out of the 10 acre property. The driveway is overrun with dirt and rocks. Weeds fill the planned baseball field…The rest of the mansion is more an outline: only steel beams, insulation and most of the electrical wiring are in place. The two elevator shafts are empty.

Stone for the exterior is waiting in boxes that fill the cavernous garage. The Olympic-length pool…is a carved-out shell.

Yes, like so many a distressed American property today, this home is being sold “as is.” But to get it to actually function, the buyer should look forward to another $25 million in expenses, at least. In fact, you can buy it “finished” for $100 million.

Other fun facts for the future owner of this mansion:

Property taxes on $100 million would run between $1.45 million and $1.74 million a year in Florida’s Orange County. Meanwhile, maintaining the property and its utilities would be at least that much– again, every year.

So who is the buyer for such a home? The seller’s agent, an optimistic Carol Ann Hewitt of Windemere has an answer: “It’s going to take a very unique kind of buyer to purchase the property.”

Indeed? If “unique” here is being used the way family members diplomatically describe a disheveled cousin who talks in cat language and only eats foods starting with the letter “G,” then we agree.