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So my husband wanted me to do the hotwife thing for him, so I did...can anyone tell me why he wants me to do this when all he does is treat me like shit when I get home? He begs me to go out with another guy and have fun, but when I do he freaks out. I find a guy I enjoy seeing and he tells me to stop seeing him...he wants me to go fuck the guy and get home...he wants me there and back in at least 2 hours...I'm really starting to regret doing this for him. Any advice from people who have been doing this for a while. Because I'm about to throw in the towel and tell him to shove this "fetish" of his up his ass.

If I told him I was done he would say ok...but then start bugging me about it again. I just get frustrated because he wanted to do this not me, I follow all the "rules" he has, but I just can't make him happy. I'm just confuse. I want to continue with this, but I'm sick of the cold shoulder when I get home.

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If I told him I was done he would say ok...but then start bugging me about it again. I just get frustrated because he wanted to do this not me, I follow all the "rules" he has, but I just can't make him happy. I'm just confuse. I want to continue with this, but I'm sick of the cold shoulder when I get home.

Gold Member

This is not something I have experience with but it sounds to me like something is missing. Not in what you are saying here but with what your husband is telling you. There must be something behind his requests that he is not explaining to you. You should find out why he is asking this of you. This might just be my opinion but you should not have to do something you are so uncomfortable with and don't understand just to please him.

Yes....but most guys don't want that. He asks for pics, but I get frustrated with the everytime I'm with the guy. Really how many pics of his cock in my mouth does he want....it gets annoying and then the other guy doesn't want to see me because he gets annoyed taking pics all the time.

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Yes....but most guys don't want that. He asks for pics, but I get frustrated with the everytime I'm with the guy. Really how many pics of his cock in my mouth does he want....it gets annoying and then the other guy doesn't want to see me because he gets annoyed taking pics all the time.

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I think he is on a power trip. If it was me and he was pushing me to do something I did not want to do. Then getting crazy about it. I would leave. I would not let him control me like that. I think it will only get worse.

VerifiedGold Member

I think he probably enjoys the fantasy of it all, but not the reality of it.
It's probably confusing for him. He need to decide what he wants.
It's something you will need to stop if he can't handle the reality of you being with someone else.

I think he is on a power trip. If it was me and he was pushing me to do something I did not want to do. Then getting crazy about it. I would leave. I would not let him control me like that. I think it will only get worse.

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Your reply in this short time had given me my answer...I'll tell him in done doing this. Thanks

I think he probably enjoys the fantasy of it all, but not the reality of it.
It's probably confusing for him. He need to decide what he wants.
It's something you will need to stop if he can't handle the reality of you being with someone else.

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He likes when I'm with someone else, I just feel that it's not fun for me if I'm going to meet this guy, fuck him and leave. And if I'm longer than an hour he's texting me asking when I'm coming home which kills the mood.

Gold Member

What's his performance with you? Does he have problems maintain erections. Does it seem like he can only get aroused after you go through these cuck type of situations? Is he preferring masturbation over sex with you? Sounds like he might have a intense cuckold addiction. It's similar to porn addiction in fact I would say he has both. The person gets into a state of mind were the fetish actually changes there personality, the thoughts and images of their fetish becomes as powerful to the brain and releases endorphin on the receptors in the brain works similar to the way the opiates from heroin work on the mind. The more you do the more it takes to reach that peak. If this is the path, he will get worse in performance and more frustrated trying to achieve that peak.
Then again he might just be an narcissistic asshole just wanting to fulfill his needs and you need to pack your bags. Regardless if you're not enjoying it don't put up with it.

What's his performance with you? Does he have problems maintain erections. Does it seem like he can only get aroused after you go through these cuck type of situations? Is he preferring masturbation over sex with you? Sounds like he might have a intense cuckold addiction. It's similar to porn addiction in fact I would say he has both. The person gets into a state of mind were the fetish actually changes there personality, the thoughts and images of their fetish becomes as powerful to the brain and releases endorphin on the receptors in the brain works similar to the way the opiates from heroin work on the mind. The more you do the more it takes to reach that peak. If this is the path, he will get worse in performance and more frustrated trying to achieve that peak.
Then again he might just be an narcissistic asshole just wanting to fulfill his needs and you need to pack your bags. Regardless if you're not enjoying it don't put up with it.

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Our sex life before this was great, we were having sex at least 2 times a day. Then we started doing this and it made it twice as good for a while. Like everytime we could have sex we were. It was like we were dating again. Then he started saying he didn't feel comfortable with this, that he was afraid I would leave him. I reassured him I wouldn't, told him fine let's be done. He said it turns him on knowing I'm out having sex and enjoying myself with another man. So, I went out again. But now he doesn't like it if the guy is nice to me, wants to talk, or text me he gets upset. A lot of you on here are saying he's an asshole...I'm not denying he can be, he does love me and has never been abusive or nasty to me before all of this. And the first couple of times we did it, he basically attacked me at the door and fucked me right there he was so excited that I did it. It's now I don't know why when I do this he's being distant and cold when I get home.
I have no one to talk to about this because if any of our friends found out they would be in complete disbelief. That's why I posted on here. I just needed someone's opinion and to vent. This is really hard to do when there isn't anyone to talk to.
And he doesn't like being degraded, he just likes knowing I go out and fuck another guy. Sorry for the long reply, I've had time to read all the responses and think about what to say. Thank you all for your input!

Gold Member

Our sex life before this was great, we were having sex at least 2 times a day. Then we started doing this and it made it twice as good for a while. Like everytime we could have sex we were. It was like we were dating again. Then he started saying he didn't feel comfortable with this, that he was afraid I would leave him. I reassured him I wouldn't, told him fine let's be done. He said it turns him on knowing I'm out having sex and enjoying myself with another man. So, I went out again. But now he doesn't like it if the guy is nice to me, wants to talk, or text me he gets upset. A lot of you on here are saying he's an asshole...I'm not denying he can be, he does love me and has never been abusive or nasty to me before all of this. And the first couple of times we did it, he basically attacked me at the door and fucked me right there he was so excited that I did it. It's now I don't know why when I do this he's being distant and cold when I get home.
I have no one to talk to about this because if any of our friends found out they would be in complete disbelief. That's why I posted on here. I just needed someone's opinion and to vent. This is really hard to do when there isn't anyone to talk to.
And he doesn't like being degraded, he just likes knowing I go out and fuck another guy. Sorry for the long reply, I've had time to read all the responses and think about what to say. Thank you all for your input!

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Maybe you two should talk and agree this is poisoning both of you all's relationship, it's definitely causing you stress, the fact that you saying he pushes you to do it and seems to savor the thought, but then after the act he has great misgivings of you doing so and leaves him with a guilt and fear you might leave him, gives me the impression he is addicted on the fantasy. So maybe it would be a good idea to stop this for a while and see how it goes. This type relationship is very hard to achieve and definitely not for everyone it sounds like it is not achievable through what i'm hearing in this post. Doing so may break you two apart. It sounds like that's not what you all want. Hope you all get it worked out.

Gold Member

Our sex life before this was great, we were having sex at least 2 times a day. Then we started doing this and it made it twice as good for a while. Like everytime we could have sex we were. It was like we were dating again. Then he started saying he didn't feel comfortable with this, that he was afraid I would leave him. I reassured him I wouldn't, told him fine let's be done. He said it turns him on knowing I'm out having sex and enjoying myself with another man. So, I went out again. But now he doesn't like it if the guy is nice to me, wants to talk, or text me he gets upset. A lot of you on here are saying he's an asshole...I'm not denying he can be, he does love me and has never been abusive or nasty to me before all of this. And the first couple of times we did it, he basically attacked me at the door and fucked me right there he was so excited that I did it. It's now I don't know why when I do this he's being distant and cold when I get home.
I have no one to talk to about this because if any of our friends found out they would be in complete disbelief. That's why I posted on here. I just needed someone's opinion and to vent. This is really hard to do when there isn't anyone to talk to.
And he doesn't like being degraded, he just likes knowing I go out and fuck another guy. Sorry for the long reply, I've had time to read all the responses and think about what to say. Thank you all for your input!

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From you OP he sounded like an Asshole….So what would we think?

If you would have posted this from the start I believe your responses would be different.

Now, it sounds like he had unrealistic expectations about the real world. Sounds like he thought any guy you might fuck would be a n insensitive jerk. You picked nice guys to Fuck….I bet he didn't count on that.

If you would have posted this from the start I believe your responses would be different.

Now, it sounds like he had unrealistic expectations about the real world. Sounds like he thought any guy you might fuck would be a n insensitive jerk. You picked nice guys to Fuck….I bet he didn't count on that.

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Well like I said he can be an asshole...and no he doesn't like that the men are nice. He wants them to text me and say let's fuck and that's it. I just feel that this isn't for us. He reads posts on sites similar to this one and feels that is how my experience should be.
Other sites women post how they go out, find men, and their husband has to be there while they are having sex. So he can watch or join in if he wants....that is something I don't want. I don't want someone watching me while I have sex, that's weird to me.