Deadlands: HellOnEarth

The hechicero who brought us to the land of the elves, orcs and taverns, Balthazar, isn’t some loco maníaco who wants to play games. Good to know.

Both Rampage and Nimrod had gotten a message while I was busy… Gettin’ to know the nativo, if ya’ll know what I mean. We needed a ring off a statue in a temple at the bottom of a lake, if we wanted to get back to the Wastes someday. Personally, I didn’t really mind it there, so I let my compañeros take the plunge to the depths. Good thing I did too, since half of them came up unconscious and needed a little help from my impromptu steam powered, self-reeling caña de pesca.

We had to get away from the lake in a hurry, for a pack of wolves got our scent. Fortunately Jollywood was up to the task and led us out of harm’s way.

It didn’t take long for us to bump into the Old Bub again. He told us fancy tales of worlds being at stake, a great doom loomin’ around us, and he needs our help to push it back to where it came from. Not so sure I buy his bull, but the guy got the jugo to send us bouncin’ around worlds, so he gotta be one of the bigger things out there. If I play along, he might just help me to get back at that bruja who crossed me…

Anyway, now we’re in a warehouse with a penthouse-view to Earth itself, so I reckon we’re in a espacio world. I think I once saw a Doctor Who episode that started like this.

We’re near the campfire waking up, and a bunch of King Rickhards knights charge in and question us for some shitass robbery. Well fuck them, we’re not to blame for that so we bamboozld them and the Spaniard led the knights off to wrong tracks. Some pussies might die off this but hey that’s knights’ problem. After some time spent collecting our stuff, we realise some vehicle of POWrider -sorts has ran rampant to the woods, and we split up as some stay behind near the campfire to see whether our very own knight in a shining armor gets over his flu.

Oh and as a reminder, we were not in the wasted West any longer. Some weird shit is going on and we are in some world that has three suns and knights and beasts amok. We were all quite disturbed why we’re here.

Things take a dire turn as we run into a goddamn troll near a carriage with horses. You’d think trolls would only exists in the internet but fuck me, this one had even worse sense of humour (read: whackamole with humans acting out the mole-part was apparently real fun). The troll got some real burn after realising our Spaniard had no fucking guitar, and instead packed a flamethrower. Oh, and the forest didn’t like the joke either, and received the burn as well. After some running away from a forest fire and reunion with the posse we felt quite exhausted. Some claimed that they saw Balthazar’s reflection in the fire but I saw nothing like that so I can’t guarantee anything.

After getting out of the woods, so to speak, we followed the road into a tavern. Needless to say I got lucky with some “elf” and ruckus ensued after Rampage butted heads with some “orcs”. People were really dodgy about the name “Balthazar” in general, which seemed quite strange. Anyhow, after dining and drinking some ale we lumbered towards our rooms and called it a night. At least most of us did, mind you.

We were sent to the city of Odin gather parts for a water purifier. The first problem was entering the city throught the ghost storm that had formed around it. I could have asked a few techspirits to help, but fortunately we had encountered a doomsayer, Bryan Harland, before. With his powers of the glow at least I and Nimrod survived without any harmful or noticeable mutations. Bryan sprouted a third eye. The sad thing was, that the third eye was blind too. When I get the chance, I should investigate cybertech alternatives to fix his eyes.

The city streets were full of useable junkmetal, but we did not have time to scavenge on the way. Because the streets were mostly blocked by cars we had to continue our journey on foot. A shame, the car had comfy seats. I think we saw a mutant humanoid of some sort, that ran away immediately we tried to communicate with it.

Then we finally got to the old water treatment plant. I think that was the exact moment we noticed that some old oil drums started burning without a good reason. Some moments after that we saw a huge firewave approaching and quickly ran inside the building. None of us knew what the hell it was and I did not have any scientific gear with me, so we focused on our mission: Recovering parts for a water purifier.

After hours of searching and scavenging we found the parts we needed and decided to look through a nearby library (well of course, we had a librarian with us…). When we got there the firewave happened again and we had to hide in the librarys basement. There we found a spaniard of some sort named Jonatan, who was captured by some mysterious invidiuals we encountered before.

Because we needed a safe place to sleep, we headed to the local mall. When we arrived at the underground parking hall, my junker instincts got the best of me when I saw an ambulance. I quickly ran to it, hoping to get the cream of the crop first. Well, it was too good to be true. It was a treasure hoard of a metal monster we know by the name of “Lurker”.

I was running like hell, but then I noticed that my companions started to fight against it. I knew I had to help them. While they distracted it, I gave it a few well-aimed blasts from my trusty pump shotgun. After I patched up my companions we found a friendly old man that offered us soup and a place to sleep. Of course we took that offer.