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My names Dannie I’m 23 , and I’m trapped in an abyss filled with darkness. I have been destroyed, ripped to shreds and I can’t even see myself the girl that’s in the mirror looking back at me it on so much pain and she tired of attempting to let out her story but nobody’s ready to listen. For years the pain got worse I thought the saying was time heals, well it doesn’t at least not for me the sad thing is that the man that took my flower wasn’t the only reason I’m the way I am, broken. I have a thousand he was just the icing on the cake. Life is getting better but my past still haunts me I can still her his voice I see him in my dreams the thought of him so close make my skin crawl and my hairs stand up. Im ready to runaway from the darkness I just need someone to hear my story.

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Hi and Welcome to After Silence (AS) @DisposableDannie. I am so sorry for the experiences that brought you here. I think each of us has cycled to that dark place at certain times along the way. You have found a supportive and caring community here. I see you and hear you. You are not alone. Please take your time to look around and share here when you are comfortable. For now I will wish you lots of courage as you walk your healing journey.

Kind regards,

AKB

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Hi @DisposableDannie. I am so sorry that you feel broken, and for what you have experienced. You are already finding your path to healing by reaching out. We are here for you, we are listening, and we believe you.

I have felt the same way; the years go by and the memories just seem to get worse. But you are brave and powerful! They are not stronger than you! Be patient and kind to yourself.

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My names Dannie I’m 23 , and I’m trapped in an abyss filled with darkness. I have been destroyed, ripped to shreds and I can’t even see myself the girl that’s in the mirror looking back at me it on so much pain and she tired of attempting to let out her story but nobody’s ready to listen. For years the pain got worse I thought the saying was time heals, well it doesn’t at least not for me the sad thing is that the man that took my flower wasn’t the only reason I’m the way I am, broken. I have a thousand he was just the icing on the cake. Life is getting better but my past still haunts me I can still her his voice I see him in my dreams the thought of him so close make my skin crawl and my hairs stand up. Im ready to runaway from the darkness I just need someone to hear my story.

Hi Dannie,

Welcome to AS. I am very sorry for the traumas you have endured, but do know that you have found a very supportive site. You are heard and you are validated. I know there is nothing worse than others who really don't understand. You will find the members here understanding. Healing by no means is easy, but possible. Keep fighting and keep seeing the worth in yourself. You deserve happiness. Take your time and look around. I wish you nothing but the best on this journey of healing.

Mary

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Welcome to AS! I am sorry that things are so difficult right now, it can be frustrating when time doesn't seem to heal the wounds we carry, and I've learned that with trauma sometimes time isn't enough and we do need to be heard, and I know you will find supportive listeners here who understand what its' like. Joining this site is a big step and I wish you the best as you keep moving forward,

Welcome to AS. I am so sorry for what you have experienced. I know how much that hurts. But I want you to know you aren’t disposable. You are not disposable. What that person did to you was wrong. It was unfair and it hurts. It is ok to cry, it is ok to mourn and it is ok to say that you are hurting. I think people try to make us fix things when we are younger without acknowledging who the problem party really is. I understand about wanting to leave. I understand about wanting to run away. I too heard the lie that time heals all wounds. Some sounds are too deep for time to heal. Often what one faces is downplayed because it unpleasant. Mentioning counseling gets the uncomfortable glances and people give the side eye. It is ok, there are people here who do care about you. There are people here willing to walk with you too. I want you to know you are not alone and his actions don’t define you.

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Welcome @DisposableDannie, to this friendly place. I think a lot of people here will understand some of what you experience, and that time does not heal all wounds but that more work and support is needed. Glad you are here, but I'm sorry for the 'cake' and the 'icing' you have had to live through.

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We're here! We care, we'll listen.You have been hurt and you have tried to live all these years with unhealed wounds. We understand. Bring your burden here and rest when you need to. You don't have to carry it alone anymore.

It's hard to heal when we don't have supportive people IRL, but it can be done! Wishing you peace and healing. Welcome.

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@DisposableDannie I hear you! I’m new in this might not be an allowed response, but I hear you. I know it sucks, I know the sickness those memories cause, but it can’t be what holds us down. That power to keep life from moving cannot be given to the hurtful things that happen, don’t allow it too; it doesn’t deserve that power.