This is a chronicle of my journey through birth, death, and adoption. This is where I rest when the road gets too long and lonely.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Dear Universe,

Would it be too much to ask to remove the "kick me" signs you have on our backs? I mean, really? How many things do we have to deal with? Could we maybe have one month of peace before getting another thing thrown at us?

2002: get poisoned by crazy boss and lose my job2007: forced to drop out of grad school after 3 years and 30K because my thesis project isn't working and we run out of money.2008: Laid off from my new job after 6 months and a move to another town. We can't find work and are forced to move in with my mother-in-law, losing most of our possessions and leaving the house we spent 3 years remodeling behind.

The last 6 months:

Dead baby (that's the big one)loss of 2 months income and the rental income from our house we can't sellbroken water heater broken washing machinestrep throat followed by back injury

And then this week: our 97 Honda, that is still not paid for because it was bought right before I was laid off in 2008, broke down on the way to work. It was only 6am because it was my 14 hour day that we do once a month. My co-worker had to come get me and I left my car at the mall. It is likely the transmission, which we don't have the money to fix. So we will have to include the car in the bankruptcy and somehow manage, with one car, to get Kira to daycare and both of us to work when our schedules are not consistent and we work in two different towns. God how I wish we had public transportation.

And then tonight I got a call from my husband not to come pick him up yet because he was in an accident in his work truck. No one was hurt, so of course it could be worse, but he could very well lose his job. He hit two vehicles trying to avoid someone in front of him who had slammed on their brakes and did a good bit of damage to one of them. He is angry and really, really scared that he will be fired. I am trying so hard to stay calm and not worry about what we can't change. It won't be the end of the world if he loses his job. It will be very, very hard. And I am so fucking sick of things being hard. I need a break. Just one small one.

Okay, universe? Please?

I had a horrible nightmare last night that child protective services came and took my daughter away from me. So I do have some perspective to realize I'm really lucky. I hate to keep whining, it seems like that is all I do lately. But I am really damn tired. Really.

My poor husband - he was in such a bad mood he didn't even want to get on the computer. At least I got to vent.

Jen, I am so sorry that all of these things are happening at once. It makes it feel like you cannot catch your breath. there is nothing worse than multiple stressors at once and you have certainly had your share. Universe, cut this woman/family a break already. They are really good people and deserve more than this!!!!!I hope your husband's job is safe!!!

Listen up Universe. Give this lovely family a break please. Enough already.I'm sorry Jen. One of those would be more than enough to deal with. Hoping that your husband's employers are understanding and he keeps his job and that your car can be fixed. Hugs.

About Me

My life changed forever when we decided to free our precious little boy from his pain on December 30th, 2009. Now we are busy building our new lives and our bigger family. After adopting an amazing and talented older child we were blessed and amazed with another chance to be parents of a newborn. I'm always happy to hear from other moms missing their babies, moms-to-be, hoping to be moms, or any other friendly voices, wherever you are on the journey. Please click on my profile to email me.