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Tuesday, 20 January 2009

Advice & criticism

Throughout life you get lots of unsolicited advice (don't call him let him call you, ask for a bigger raise, that colour is all wrong for you). When you get married you get lots more advice (flowers are important, you need a bigger cake....). When you are pregnant, even more (don't eat peanut butter, get lots of sleep now, don't buy anything you will get tons at the shower). Nothing compares to what you get when you have a baby.

There is so much info and so much of it is conflicting, I often find it difficult to filter.

Dress Code:

- wear pajamas all day that way you are comfy and visitors won't expect you to serve them

- get showered and dressed every day - you will feel better and get more done

Sleep:

- when the baby is sleeping you should be sleeping

- do your chores/phone calls, etc when the baby is napping so that you are paying full attention to the baby

Baby's Crib:

- don't use bumper pads they are dangerous > baby can suffocate use for climbing

- use bumper pads, they keep baby safe > keep baby from bruising if they bump head on crib, keep babies limbs safe if they stick out of the rails

It goes on and on. I have one person in my life who has been the best with no unsolicited advice, who will give advice when asked, and does not give criticism masking as advice, and I will always love this person for that.

The hidden criticism/judgement is the worst. How can it not be a criticism if every time you talk to someone they ask the same question, and then give the same advice which you have already told them you are not going to do. Obviously they disagree with what you are doing.