O.C. Iditarod racer update

Irvine resident Cindy Abbott, 54, is racing in Alaska’s 1,000-mile Iditarod sled mushing race. The official race started a week ago. By Saturday evening several racers had dropped out. Abbott remained in the back of the pack of some 60 racers and had covered 393 miles. Her mentor, Lance Mackey, was in 11th place and had covered 600 miles. More: Iditarod.com

We like our wars clean and shiny, with perfect good guys and awful bad guys, with the wounded brushing aside pain and waving during parades.

There are times when that makes sense. But there also are times to go deep, to grapple with PTSD and understand why divorce and suicide rates for veterans are so high – even for vets whose war ended nearly four decades ago.

Art De Groot, a bear of a man who spent 13 months in Vietnam during the worst of the war, shakes his head and tells me that writing a brutally frank memoir was about truth-telling, not healing.

But after two hours of talking, De Groot quietly admits that keeping his stories inside "was like carrying a cross for 40 years," and that publishing his book "was like releasing a burden."

I ask De Groot how close he came to becoming a PTSD casualty. He looks down at his dining room table. Too close.

Still, like many troubled vets, De Groot found salvation.

• • •

The other week, I was invited to address the Military Officers Association of America. During dinner, I sat next to a hero in a wheelchair. His legs were blown off by a mine in Vietnam.

Like the vast majority of veterans, my new friend has a successful career, family. Some vets tell me they left the war in the jungle. Others explain that they keep the war on a virtual shelf and take it down to honor the fallen or to share with brothers in arms.

But for thousands of veterans, the horrors of war creep back, especially at night. Mortars explode; the humidity of the jungle is thick; the bloodshed smells.

A new book by veteran Chuck Dean, "Nam Vet: Making Peace with Your Past," states that three times as many Vietnam vets have committed suicide as those who died during the war. Dean also reports 90 percent of Vietnam vets have gone through divorce.

I ask De Groot how he managed to keep his marriage intact. He says his wife, Joy, is a nurse, a very understanding nurse – "a saint really" – who worked for several years at a Veterans Administration hospital.

Still, De Groot keeps some troubles private, saying, "I made some bad decisions." He admits to sweats, nightmares, hallucinations.

Along with Joy's support, De Groot acknowledges he received PTSD treatment in the early 1990s and saw a therapist for four years.

He recalls writing a poem about the war and sharing during group. At first, he admits, "I couldn't read it out loud. It took me 15 minutes. After, I was crying like a baby."

Art De Groot, author of "Bu Ku Kilo," has several Vietnam War related pieces of art on his home office walls. SAM GANGWER, ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER
Art De Groot, a Vietnam veteran, wrote his book "Bu Ku Kilo" to tell the truth of the war and to help him heal and deal with PTSD. SAM GANGWER, ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER
Art De Groot gets a kiss from his dog Patience at his Santa Ana home. De Groot, a Vietnam veteran wrote his book, "Bu Ku Kilo," to tell the truth of the war and to help him heal and deal with PTSD. SAM GANGWER, ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER
Art De Groot cooks roast duck in Dakto. COURTESY OF ART DE GROOT
Art De Groot in Vietnam drinking rice wine with a group of Montagnards. COURTESY OF ART DE GROOT
Art De Groot on a sandbag detail with Montagnard kids. COURTESY OF ART DE GROOT
The fortified rocket bunker built by Art De Groot and others at Dakto after a rocket landed nearby. COURTESY OF ART DE GROOT
Art De Groot holds an M1 Carbine he traded a pack of cigarettes for in Vietnam. COURTESY OF ART DE GROOT
A 155MM self propelled gun. COURTESY OF ART DE GROOT
The hole ripped in the ground by a rocket fired at the Dakto fire base. COURTESY OF ART DE GROOT

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