I guess now I should just go ahead and schedule that blood letting for Halloween now, right?

I say I am just super fucking cautious, because HELLO HAVE WE MET? Bad shit just happens to like befall me, so I don’t like to stir the cauldron so to speak by walking under motherfucking ladders or stroking black pussies and suchlike.

So when last year my internal photoshoot was scheduled for APRIL FOOLS DAY I was not very fucking happy about it to put it mildly (same could be said when the same date was badly chosen for my D&C after a not so GOOD FRIDAY miscarriage) especially seeing I was terrified I would go all PTSD on their arses while under that light sedation shit.

ANYWHOODLE, why am I dragging all that shit up today on a random date that means fuck all you ask? Cool your jets. I haven’t finished whining.

So after another rather nasty ‘flare’ MPS got jack of my bitching and moaning told me to go and get the damn gastric emptying study done already, that I have been putting off for the last forever because every fucker in our family keeps getting sick or doing shit and I can’t get a damn babysitter so I can get the stupidhead test done.

I didn’t have the heart to tell him that the test wont actually DO anything or change anything, it won’t even confirm anything. Some people can show fairly normal results and be really sick and some can be sporting a display stomach from IKEA and have no symptoms. The test means fuck all.

And it costs $730.

And it takes up to 8 hours.

Hence my reticence to do the damn test.

Whatever. Lets do this shizzle.

So I rocked up to the hospital to make the appointment and the chicka was awesome and we made the appointment time and she was all it only takes 2-3 hours and I was all FUCKING HUZZAH in my head but said ‘oh that is rather quick!’ and then she dropped the bomb.

‘Yeah, we ask you to bring in a DVD so you wont be bored in the machine’

As I gathered my jaw off the floor and clenched my pelvic floor as I was wearing light coloured pants, I bid her adieu. To see her on Wednesday 11 May.

I got in the car and my phone rang. It was the receptionist from the imaging centre.

‘Sorry Kelley! I just realised that they only do those tests on a Friday and they have to order the whatthefuckevershesaidbutitisprobablyfromChernobyl in specifically on the day, I have changed your appointment to FRIDAY THE 13TH OF MAY see you then!’

Fuck it. I hope I am allowed to take Valium and they have super fucking absorbent towels.

You can borrow my dvd of ‘Aliens’, just think of a nasty icky thing bursting out of your chest in a confined space where no-one can hear you scream but you can imagine yourself going all Ripley when they finally let you out.
My Doc just gave my third ref. to the sinus specialist because I still can’t stand the thought of shiny sharp objects going up my nose anywhere what’s left of my brain. If I thought I shared the cockroach DNA with my indestructible mother I might feel better but I think she snaffled the lot.

It’s kind of like a giant sandwich press and not as bad as a MRI which freak me the fuck out. The microwaved radioactive eggs made me want spew. But overall it was bearable just fricken boring. I did find it a waste of time/money as my results didnt change anything. But it’s one of those hoops you have to jump through. You can do this.

I’m not superstitious and don’t even know what a gastric emptying test or procedure is.
But DVDs? Of course we still have them!
Hundreds!
And that’s just the movies, then I’ve got a whole bunch of TV series sets as well.

Lol. I’m the same. I was admitted to hospital on the 13th of April in 1993 to have my 3rd son and they put me in room 13. I put on a big turn. They said I could change rooms but there’d be no telly so I decided to stay in room 13 after all. Nothing bad happened for over a decade but then my son turned 17 and the bad things started.

I am too dim witted most of the time to know what fucking day it is, so the date thing is no problem to me. The other sounds pretty shitful, so Valium up girl and take a boring vid that you don’t mind sleeping through. Good luck

Born on Halloween. Possibly born superstitious. More likely just suspicious. Though I cancelled an operation I had been on a waiting list to have for 8 months because it fell on the anniversary of my mother’s death, so I guess that is a little superstitious. Or a matter or not wanting to push my luck.

13 is our family’s lucky number. My daughter, niece, multiple cousin’s kids were all born on the 13th.
Not to mention number plates, houses, camp sites, motel rooms… we get 13’s all through our life and they work out brilliantly.

Any Irish in you? Cos that’s what we put it down to – our contrary Irish DNA!