if no one saves me I'll turn into a monster incapable of compassion or love or empathy. I'm already slowly changing into a monster who thirsts for death and pain blood and fear and if no one saves me....well one push is all I need to change irreversibly into a bloodthirsty monster who gets off on pain and death. why won't anyone save me....do they want to see a real monster I don't want to be that but I can't do it on my own I'm already deteriorating into my darker self, someone who wants to cause pain and terror and watch as they scream.