Why we have to hide our love is more obvious than why Romeo and Juliet had to kill themselves - because people can't know that we, the betches, are writing words of affection addressed to baked goods. Do we look like Lena Dunham to you?

Edibles, we know you're so much more than that. However we won't pretend that if you didn't get us high we wouldn't look in your direction. Luckily your inner marijuana makes you akin to an ugly kid with a high-profile trust fund.

It's almost like you're the #19 ugly hot version of weed, because we obviously aren't trying to consume fucking fat girl foods (hook up with ugly bros), but you get us so much higher (are way better at mindfucking us). See the dilemma?

But most of all, we love you, because we know a few buttery crumbs off the bottom of you never fails to get us higher than a NASA satellite.