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My Co-Worker Uses His Cell Phone In The Restroom

One of my co-workers uses his cell phone while in the office restroom. It’s annoying and feels like an invasion of privacy. He talks loudly which makes it worse in the small confines of the space. A few of us have tried some gentle suggestions to keep the calls to other places, but he has not changed his ways. What can we do to stop him since he won’t cooperate voluntarily?

— Wants Bathroom Peace

Dear Wants:

Since “gentle suggestions” have not worked, have you tried wishing and hoping? Crossing your fingers? Calling his mother? If all of those options also failed, I suppose you will have to grow a backbone and actually do something.

My favorite alternative is to drown the guy’s phone. Knock it out of his hand and into the nearest water source. If he is not a hand washer and never has his phone near a sink, you will have to figure out how to get into the stall with him on your own.

If you can’t bring yourself to destroy electronics, then fight fire with fire and make more noise than him. Be ready with as many of your colleagues as there are restroom stalls to follow him in and have a little concert while he tries to conduct his conversation. If you never learned how to make the requisite sounds during your elementary school days, don’t despair. You can learn how to use your hand and arm pit to make the sound here or how to use a mere piece of tissue paper here. You can even use a simple straw. If you are musically inclined, you could go for the advanced beatboxing method, found here.

Start practicing.

— Evil Skippy

I faced this problem when I still worked for a law firm. Many of my colleagues were so very important that they felt the need to conduct business at all times – including during bathroom breaks. I discovered that repeated flushing tended to make their calls end right away. Another one of my friends always answered the phone addict as if the guy was talking over the stall wall to him rather than to a person on the phone.

Of course, the adult thing to do is to simply tell the other person to stop making calls from the restroom. (Hinting does not count). You might want to try that before you start imitating bodily functions.

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Comments

Really? Honestly? Someone making phone calls while taking a shit is your biggest problem? Get over it and yourself or find another bathroom. What do you do when someone in the next stall farts? Is that an invasion of privacy? Furthermore, how is it an invasion of privacy? You’re the one listening to him, not the other way around. You people with your non issues in life. I wish my life was as easy as yours.

Disgusting behavior! I’d take a boom box into the restroom and each time he talks, turn it on full blast. And clue in your coworkers that they are welcome to borrow it when they encounter him. He MAY get the clue after he’s screwed up enough phone calls… I’ve seen some funny ads based on crossed conversations, so that’s always another idea to try. “You talkin’ to me???” yelled out might be effective. And “Stella!” as Marlon Brando screamed it in ASND…

Unfortunately, classy cannot be taught to some. Flushing does help thought…then again our toilets have the flushing power of King Midas himself and are extremely loud. I guess I would feel worse for the person listening in, but take comfort that no one actually knows it is you tinkling.

It is good to discuss items like these as technology is slowly creeping closer into our personal lives. Google is in the process of making contacts that can record everything the wearer sees. If you think second-hand cell-chats in the bathroom are scary, you may have to start defending yourself from full-frontal potty invasions.

It is always best to be as classy as YOU can be. If not, you may be the next YouTube sensation.

The restrooms are right across the hall from my office door. Recently there was one lady (?) talking so loud on her cell phone (actually it sounded like an argument with someone) that I actually went in the restroom and told her that “your voice and your conversation can be heard in all the hallways and offices outside this restroom, including the CEO’s office.” (Yes, our hallways do echo…) She apologized and ended her phone call. Have never heard her on her cell phone in the restroom again.

I have heard others on their cell phones in the ladies restroom – my next step will be to post a sign in the restroom, stating something to the effect of “All conversations taking place in this restroom (including cell phone) CAN be heard in the hallways.”