Quoting, of course, that famous comedian, friend of Jeff Foxworthy, Bill Engvall.
The idiots were in full force this morning. Beyond any reasonable silliness or haven't-had-coffee-yet brain fart.

I was waiting for my AM bus to arrive (the #14 University transfer - that's what it says on the front). An old man was waiting with me, fidetting a lot. I get on the bus and take a spot, but THIS guy pokes his head in and says (yells) "IS THIS THE 14? I CAN'T SEE THE SIGN." On a sunny day, in that spot, YES, you cannot see the sign on the bus. But it's an overcast morning, and the man had mile thick lenses on. So the bus driver says "Yes, that information is on the front and side of the bus so in case you can't see one, you can see the other." The old man, obviously not convinced, says "THE ONE THAT GOES TO THE UNIVERSITY?" this is the -only- bus in this area that goes anywhere NEAR the university, and the 14 is the only bus on this section of the city. Before the driver answers, I pipe up "Heeeere's your sign." and to take the cake, the man goes "I DON'T WANT THE 14, I WANT THE 26." which is on the other side of the municipality altogether, 4 streets down and 2 streets left....Wow.

So I'm in the window seat of the usual 2 person bench, and a total nerd sits beside me. I have no issue with nerds; I often find them witty, clever, funny, smart, and GREAT friends with WONDERFUl morals and great big hearts. This guy, was the boiled down, condensed version. Horn rim glasses 3 inches thick, plaid shirt tucked in to dockers, under suspenders, an open tweed jacket, over-slicked hair, and that skinny, shaky, jittery figure, with 2 pens and a scientific calculator in his pocket. Of all the free spots, he choses to sit beside ME. To avoid saying anything, I put my headphones on until it was close to my stop. So, I push the button, and he bounds up and collides with a little old lady who was trying to make it to the bus stop while the bus was moving (poor thing) and he shakily announced "I'm sorry! This girl needs me to get her off!" then realizing what he'd said, which most people would have perked a brow to and ignored, he went "Oh,I mean, she needs to get off....OH! No, I mean, I have to LET her off.....Uuuuuuauauauauu!" and buried his face as low as his neck would let it. I went "Seriously? You can't even stop a freudian slip TWICE? Heeeeere's your sign."

So, the bus crosses the intersection, where the bus stop is RIGHT after it. Some guy waiting to get of the bus goes "WE WANT TO GET OFF ******!" because the driver wasn't pulling over - which he did when he got THROUGH the intersection. I said "He wasn't pulling over because if you will open your eyes and notice, that was an intersection, and it is illegal, even for busses, to change lanes in the middle of one. Here's your sign."

So I got off the bus, and went to get my coffee. The same kind every day I have change for it; Starbucks' Tall Cafe Americano in a Venti cup with Hot Water and room for cream. It's even the same GIRL who does it, and usually has it going and waiting for me when I get in. Today, she ASKED me what I wanted. Sure, fine, she forgot. Not a big deal, some people have off days. So I told her. She said "Oh yeah". and charged me for it. I was the only one in the starbucks at the moment - I'm usually between the going-to-work rush, the going-to-class-late rush, and the old-people-are-up rush. What was I given? A white Chocolate Mocha with 2 espresso shots and a danish. The coffee guy gave the teller my americano on her break which she was about to take. I shut up and left, cause I got the better deal on that one. I didn't say here's your sign this time, but I thought about it. [/quote]

Ugh, what a day. Anyone else have some here's your sign stories?

Edit: The TITLE is the quote.

Blaster

I personally love when I'm at a fire incident where a house is obviously on fire and someone comes up to me and is like what is going on when all you have to do is look over and you can see fire comming out of the house. You would think this doesn't happen too often... Sadly it does though

deanhills

Great story LittleBlackKitten. I also have some days where I wonder whether my rhythms are a little out of kilter. For example, there are good days where I seem to be at the right spot at the right time all the time and I don't have to wait for everyone. Everyone is smiling and helpful. But then on other days I could just be a fraction out of sync. For example it is a day where I have to wait for the elevator a long time, whereas the previous day it was immediately there when I arrived. People may be less helpful than they usually are, when you make a phone call you get blocked to get to speak to someone, whereas the previous day it went as smoothly as ever. I sometimes wonder whether this could be as a result of our astrological positioning in relation to all the planets. Hence the term the sun is smiling on me, perhaps, or references to the moon being responsible for strange moods?

Then he asked me if I wanted to get OFF THE BUS when I hit the buzzer. No, I just like hitting buttons.

I was out on the 30th celebrating halloween and I ordered a drink, which the bartender reitterated to me to confirm and wandered away. A friend informed me it actually had alcohol in it. NOOOOO REALLY?!?! (I wasn't a DD.)

Then he asked me if I wanted to get OFF THE BUS when I hit the buzzer. No, I just like hitting buttons.

I was out on the 30th celebrating halloween and I ordered a drink, which the bartender reitterated to me to confirm and wandered away. A friend informed me it actually had alcohol in it. NOOOOO REALLY?!?! (I wasn't a DD.)

OK. So let's play devil's advocate here for fun. What would the story of the Bus Driver be? A beautiful young lady boarded my bus. I wanted to talk to her, so all I could think of was ask her which month her bus pass was. I thought she would give me her usual friendly smile, but instead she got fuming mad at me ..... well guess I deserved that, it really was a stupid question ....

Maybe the old guy's eyesight/hearing/mind are failing and he struggles to understand?

Maybe the nerd/geek didn't really think about who was sat in whichever seat, and just sat there because his mind was so wrapped up in particle physics, he automatically assumed any free public seat was acceptable to sit on without thought, as long as he isn't interfering with the person next to him?

Maybe the nerd only noticed you after he sat down, then got nervous being so close to a woman, due to his own security issues based on some cold childhood without emotions. He ran away in a mixture of fear and arousal and unfortunately bumped into the old lady?

Maybe the coffeeshop girl had a million sad things going on in her life that morning and she was struggling just to smile at people that day?
(*edit* the just above minimum wage keeping her eyes dry for 8 hours)

Who knows? I always just politely ask clarification on someones "intentions" toward me if something happens that I feel is important enough to establish are they treating me bad or not.
Now how they react to my question will influence how vociferously I will state whatever case I have at the time. Perhaps when I'm given an unacceptable response that's when I'd say "here's your sign", although I don't actually know what it means but I get the impression it's not particularly conciliatory.

deanhills

LittleBlackKitten wrote:

I rest my case lol

OK. But I still don't agree ..... Thanks for sharing all the photos. We probably will just have to agree that we disagree ....

Arty

My all-time favorite: Airplane hits a deer: "Oh my God! Were you on the ground?"