Thursday, June 25, 2009

5 vs. 1

my dad has an uncanny way of "remembering" things. like, he gets one part right, but completely blows the rest. for instance, Dumbledore from Harry Potter is Dumbledorf. having a wife and four daughters, bless his heart, has given him his fair share of sitting on mall benches and holding shopping bags. "5 vs. 1," we used to say on vacations, or mini-trips to Seattle, "we all want to go shopping but you!"growing up, the Bon Marche was "The Bonnie March" (and he still calls Macys The Bonnie March) as we got older, Wet Seal became "The Slippery Seal," and just yesterday, Betsey Johnson was renamed "Betsey Taylor, the store with ugly dresses."

but one he always seemed to get right was abercrombie. so right, in fact, that he once decided to do a little shopping for himself there while us girls and mom were browsing the racks. when we all walked out with our bags filled with $9.90 lace tank tops and screen printed tees (you know), we see dad sitting on the mall bench, with an abercrombie bag of his own. my mom says "what's that?" and dad smiles triumphantly and says, "i bought some stuff!" he pulls out camo cargo shorts and 2 abercrombie t-shirts. not just any t-shirts. the ones that are tight, even in XL, with ABERCRMOBIE EST. 1892 printed on the front. and he wore the camo cargo shorts. with the t-shirts. he looked like a guy from jersey.

i think my dad was just so used to going into stores like abercrombie that he instinctually felt the need to just buy something for himself. and buy something for himself he did. but it was the first and last time.

the t-shirts are long gone now, i think my mom tossed them in the goodwill pile, but he still wears those camo cargo shorts loudly and proudly to this day.

Lacie! You big dumby, he never got the name Abercrombie (God's Personal Clothing Store) right!!!! He always called it aMbercrombie. Because every time you, Charlie, Meggie, and Mom went into old lady stores I made dad take me to abercrombie. And he would say where are we going? and I would say, the best store ever and he would say NOT AMBERCROMBIE?? and I would say it's abercrombie stupid. Then he would say did you just call me stupid? etc. etc.