A young teenager comes home from school and asks her mother,
"Is it true what Nancy just told me? That babies come out of the same place where boys put
their dicks?"
"Yes, dear," replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she
wouldn't have to explain it. "But then when I have a baby, won't it knock my teeth out?

A couple from Mars and a couple from Earth meet and are talking about all sorts of things.
Finally, the subject of sex comes up.
"Just how do you guys do it?" asks the Earthling.
"Pretty much the way you do," responds the Martian.
The couples decide to swap partners for the night and experience one another. The female
Earthling and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips. He's got only
a tiny member, about half an inch long and just a quarter inch thick.
"I don't think this is going to work," says the woman. “Why?" he asks, "What's the
matter?"
"Well," she replies, "It's just not long enough to reach me!"
"No problem," he says, and proceeds to slap his forehead with his palm. With each slap of
his forehead, his member grows until it's quite impressively long.
"Well," she says, "That's quite impressive, but it's still pretty narrow...."
"No problem," he says, and starts pulling his ears. With each pull his member grows wider
and wider until the entire measurement is extremely exciting to the woman. "Wow!" she
exclaims as they fall into bed and make mad, passionate love.
The next day the couples rejoin their normal partners and go their separate ways. As they
walk along, the Earth male asks,
"Well, was it any good?"
"I hate to say it," she says,
"But it was pretty wonderful. How about you?"
"It was OK," he replies, "but a little weird. The whole time she was slapping my forehead
and pulling my ears."

A woman, getting married for the fourth time,
goes to a bridal shop and asks for a white dress.
"You can't wear white," reminds the sales clerk,
"You've been married three times already."
"Of course I can, I'm a virgin!" says the bride.
"Impossible," says the sales clerk.
"Unfortunately not," the bride explained.
"My first husband was a psychologist. All he
wanted to do was talk about it. My second husband
was a gynecologist. All he wanted to do was look
at it. My third husband was a stamp collector....
God I miss him."

Two women are sitting on the front porch. The first woman says,
"Here comes my husband with a bunch of flowers. That means I'll be on my back with my legs
in the air all weekend."
The other woman asks, "Why, don't you have a vase?"