Multitasking during childbirth: Gittin’ ‘er done

Legendary football coach, announcer, and videogame programmer John Madden famously claimed that a person can’t feel sharp pain in two places at once. Since this is true, what can it tell us about childbirth?

Expectant mothers can take advantage of this neurological limitation and turn delivery into a twofer. Childbirth could mask other excruciating procedures, as long as those other operations don’t interfere with the natural, supine position of delivery. So why not schedule another painful procedure for the same time?

For example, note the similarities between this picture and the one above: clearly, combining dental work with parturition would increase efficiency in our healthcare system while halving the patient’s pain. Two extractions in one!

Or how about a nice bikini wax? Feeling pretty can increase a new mother’s self-esteem, perhaps ameliorating any post-partum depression.