As we all know Battlefield 3 now has a premium service that gives you access to all of the additional content Dice has created, including Server Queue priority (take that poor people!). Close Quarters is out (CQ for us Pros in the know) and everyone is blowing each other…up, having fun and inevitably waiting for the next DLC to be released. There is no doubt that this will be the cycle; a new DLC will be released, people will play it to death and then wait for the next one.

However, what are the other DLCs about? We already know that CQ is about getting close to the enemy and destroying everything in your path as you do it (quite romantic). We also know that Armored Kill (AK for us Pro types) is about Vehicle mayhem which is expected to be released this September, which features the highly anticipated AC-130…for CoD fanboys that’s the big plane.We know very little about the other DLCs that will be available, the ‘Aftermath’ pack is set for release this December and will unleash a horde of survival themed post apocalyptic planet of the apes style content into the BF3 world. All we really know at the moment is it will take place during the aftermath of the Tehran Earthquake (that’s from the single player campaign for those Multiplayer nymphomaniacs out there) and you will be trying to survive with your team from angry apes on horses.

The fifth DLC pack ‘End Game’ will be released in March and will contain “High-speed lethal action“, essentially Battlefield on drugs. It has been recorded somewhere that an EA spokesperson stated in an interview that ‘End Game’ will have a “character in the jungle, Apocalypse Now-style.”meaning Marlon Brando will appear at random intervals whilst you launch yourself around the map completely off your face. They also mentioned at E3 that the pack will contain Motorcycles, so apart from being on drugs, avoiding Brando, Harrison Ford and whoever else was in that bloody film, you’ll be riding something at high speed!!!…into trees!!!

Each DLC will add extra features to the game we’ve come to love, catering for people with different likes and fetishes…allowing everyone to be pleased by at least one part of the game. Even if you are not impressed by the new content added, think about this…it could be worse, it could be CoD.

This article isn’t actually negative it’s satirical, I have great praise for BF3 and it’s the only game I play regularly. However if you are talking about the CoD references then yes I was negative as I don’t like the game.