My depression is killing me . help needed .

Hello all
I really need some help here . I suffer from depression although I'm on meds for it, it's taking it's toll on me I feel so far away from god our heavenly farther although I have bin holding on to jesus . but it;s the last few days that has gone past that bin really hard to live some days . but today (22nd September 2013) has bin the hardest for me . I keep feeling I'm not good for jesus. sometime this feeling has made me so depressed that I feel like I don't want to be here but I know that Jesus has a plan for my life , and as much as I DO NOT want to take my life I still get these feeling that I'm not good enough for jesus and that I haven't done much for jesus , this has driven me out of my mind , that it makes me feel very depressed . what do I do ?? I really don't know why I feel like I'm not good for jesus and that I'm such a failure . all this is just making me feel down . I really don;t know what to do anymore . please can someone help me. I just want to know there's people out there who care and don't think I'm a crazy person just cos I have depression .

Staff Member

hi sister for Christ! You are not crazy! You are just looking much as we all are for your purpose or your part to be in the Kingdom of God! Many years ago like yourself, I was in such a closet,and yes it does feel as though one is in one! Holy Spirit then spoke unto my heart this!" How many scriptures do you know by memory off the top of your head other then john 3:16? If it is less then 5 you are depressed for good reason! For in any condition you find yourself in, what do I tell you to do?? Matt 3:17 says this is my beloved Son in whom I am well pleased,and why do you think God said this?

Because he was the Son of God only? No dear sister because Jesus knew the Word of his Father to speak unto the enemy whenever he needed to! Right after this sis, Jesus was led to the wilderness to be tempted by the devil,much as we are sis. Now Jesus being God in the flesh,suffered the pains of hunger for his own sake?of course not,he went through this for our sake! For woe are we if we are in hunger for God's Word and we do not have it to eat daily!( john 4:32-34) When Jesus came forth from the wilderness, the devil came to look to rob him further! matt 4:3 Notice sister the devil leaves out some words as well!!

Like the word beloved!!What Jesus himself calls us!! ( 1 john 3:21,1 john 4:1,verse 7,verse 11,and other places. The reason the devil did this sister is anyone who is beloved, is truly loved by the Father as well as his own son! This includes his daughters to!! YOU!! Now look how Jesus handled this,he could have said I am God in the flesh,go away,but no sis!! Jesus spoke His own Word!( verse 4) ( taken from deut 8:3) Then the enemy took our Jesus into the Holy city and had him stand on the pinnacle of the temple,then spoke to him in verse 6 again leaving out some words!!( look at all the words that should have been spoken sis!!( Psalms 91:11-12!!) Again Jesus spoke only the Word!! ( deut 6:16!) Finally in verse 10 Jesus had had enough! And spoke again his own Word!!(Deut 10:20) The word of God says in Hosea 4:6 My people are destroyed for there lack of knowledge.

This lack of knowledge our Jesus speaks of is not the knowledge we acquire from the world,but rather our lack of knowledge from the Word of God, which like Jesus we are to speak! ( psalm 138:2)For you have magnified YOUR word according to ALL your name! But what dear sister are his words,if we do not learn to speak them when we become tempted by depression, or anything else that makes us feel as through Jesus has taken a long trip from us? Here is what we learn sis.Our feeling and emotion have no place in believing! For how can flesh mix with spirit?It can't sis! We must believe,that is our part,and believing comes in keeping our eyes and our hearts in God's Word daily!

I cannot do without his Word one single day sis!! I fought two tours in Vietnam,I also had what the world calls Post tramatic stress Syndorme ( forgive my poor spelling sis,but you get the point!! hehe) So i fully know the pains you are going through!! For almost 18 years I went through the same pain,as my childhood like so many others here was no picnic either! Now sister I have, as you will come to depend, yes depend upon God's Word daily for my life! And the best part of the knowledge we obtain from God's word is only as good as we are prepared to speak God's Word to whatever mountain stands in our way!

So how many verses can you quote from memory sis?? hehe Not as many as you should i know this!!Because i had to learn as you are the very same lesson! I could baby you sister,i could tell you all sorts of things to make you feel better,but my words would only last for a short time!God's word lasts forever,so it only makes sense to me to give you what he gave me! The very first scripture Jesus gave me to memory was this one.( Isaiah 41:9-13) this is personal sis!!VERY personal!! Then Holy Spirit began teaching me.( 1 john 2:27) Holy Spirit is always teaching me sis!!ALWAYS!! Because sister if you will be faithful in staying in his Word, one day like myself this will happen to you!!( john 14:23!!)Jesus himself will come into you to always abide!!

He never leaves us or forsakes us sis,but our feeling and emotion can make our mind think he can and does,but if we stay in his Word daily,this can never come upon us!! Like a postman who arrives at your house with a box filled with holes on the side and snakes are peeking through them,and the mailman asks you to sign this form to receive this! Would you sign for that sis?? LOL i did until I was taught sis!But not anymore,Sorry Mr mailman devil, you came to the wrong home!! I have just destroyed all the other packages you sent me!! ( luke 10:19-20!)

But sister before we can ever have authority in our Jesus we must first learn how to take this authority Jesus himself gave his very beloved children!! YOU!!!! and all of us! Depression is evil, i know many have to take medice for it,i used to as well! But when I learned from Holy Spirit he was enough for all of my problems and fears,i was able to give up what I thought my flesh so needed to make it yet another day in life! It takes time sister!!It does not happen overnight,but the point is sis, it can and will happen if you are willing to give our Jesus something few are willing to do!!YOUR TIME!! And your full belief!

Does it really depend so much on whether we believe or not??many ask. lets see from the Word itself sis!( mark 6:4-6) now as we begin to fully believe we get to a point in our belief such as this man did!( mark 9:23-24 I believe but help thou my unbelief! i sure got to this point sis! So more study,more time in God's word for me! And finally,one day my mom at 89 had a heart attack,the doctors said to my brother and I, there was no hope in her to ever recover!! I laughted at him!! My brother was crying,The doctors said i do not think you heard me mark,you mom is about to die!!

Being full of Holy Spirit here is what I said back to him!! Doctors i have heard what you have said,but i was told by the Lord himself some 10 years ago that my own mother would go to be with the Lord in the fall season,and it is only spring, so I do not believe the words you are saying to me,My Jesus will not only heal her but fully restore her back!! YOU!!! WILL SEE!!! They shook there heads and walked away! Mother grew worse the next day,the doctors said you may wish to make arrangements for her death.Again i laughted out loud at them!! Doctors why do you talk to me of death when my mother is alive??

You see sis i had inside information the doctors did not have!! hehe!!( mark 5:35-36!!) Only believe!! After 3 days mom started to recover,and after only ten days after having a heart attack that should have killed her,she walked with my brother and I to the car to take her home! The doctors started coming to our house,because my mom was to weak to be taken to and from the hospital,they were amazed! After a month she was able to go to the hospital! LUCK??? LOLLLLLLL no sister!! belief in my Christ Jesus!!! The kind of faith you will have if you get busy in the Word like I did! Jesus LOVES YOU SIS!! And we here do as well!! This was a bit longer then I had planned so I know the Lord is going to fix you up, just like he did my own mom! But get busy doing the Fathers will sis!! Like I had to!And the reward for you being faithful to our wonderful Lord Jesus will be far more then you ever thought or even could of hoped for!!!I know!! i am proof of what Jesus can do for us all who dare to believe in him!!

After two and one half months my 89 year old mother fully recovered,and two of the nurses and one doctor received Jesus at our home because of what the Lord did! What a reward!! watching 2 nurses and a doctor who just knew my mom would die, received Jesus! Remember what paul and Silas went through sis?/ ( acts 16:25-36!!) One day soon sis verse 26 will happen in your life!! AND SUDDENLY@!!! Why do you think after all the jail cells were open no one left?? because when Jesus enters who wants to go anywhere!!amen! verse 31 to believe is an action sis!! ( james 1:22) We believe therefore we receive!! because our Jesus watches over his own Word to always preform it! ( Jeremiah 1:12!!) God bless you my sister, I will be praying for you,have no fear!! ONLY BELIEVE!! Hugs in Jesus to you!

God has an answer for you sister, I am only a poor human myself with my own frailties. I have to trust on the Lord to be true to His promises to love me, despite my frailties and the Lord not only is truer than any human, He is the epitome of trueness. He loves us when we are unloveable, but our frailties of the body and even emotions are part of this life, and the sooner I and you and all of us can accept our own frailties as part of the fallen human state, and not let it affect our spirit, the better we shall all be. For me, its not emotions that are in disarray. For me, its my body, full of aches and pains, knowing I cant give a good days work for the pay I receive, knowing I should be fired, and someone else hired in my place. My feet seem to be always hurting, and other part of me also have pain often, and my memory and eyesight and many physical attributes are failing. I sometimes wish I were a dog, that I could wonder out into the woods and let nature take its course. But I know the Lord has great purpose for me, and I must submit and endure the pain, for He shall help me through it, not erase it as I would prefer, but He shall help me endure it.

Greeting dear sister. My thoughts have not escape from you since after reading your post here. I got also some chances reading your previous posts here before and now you're returning with the same dilemma dear sister. This cycle of defeat have not yet been broken in your life. How I just hate the devil seeing how he's feasting on peoples lives and how we continually allow him to do in us whereas God in His loving kindness and tender mercy through our Lord Jesus Christ had already given us all to become victors and no longer a victim.

First of all beloved creation of God, I as just want to say that NO ONE, yep not even one, not even a single person had really become GOOD enough for God for the Scripture says "No one is righteous, not even one (Romans 3:10), everyone has gone astray, all have sinned and had fallen short of God's glory and deserved to be condemned (Romans 3:23)". We may name all of the good people we know, yet apart from the Lord Jesus Christ, their goodness are even considered as filthy rags in the sight of God (Isaiah 64:6). The Psalmist said "apart from God, we have no good thing (Psalm 16:2). Yet God in His great love send us His only begotten Son our Lord Jesus Christ to save us from eternal damnation by believing in Him, on what He has done for us. Jesus died for us dear Sister and by that in accepting Him and believing Him in our lives, we become WORTHY, we are given the RIGHT to be called children of God (John 1:12). Dear Sister, this is for you and for me. And if the Lord indeed liveth in us, Jesus reigns in our lives, God has already bestowed every good thing unto us and for us. We are already made worthy for the Lord sister. The question is will you let God rule or reign in your life?

Second point I want to make is, I just want share my prayers for you, that with the gift of life and strength the Lord is giving you everyday, you may be able to use it as God desires it for you. Use the strength that God is giving you, combat every negative thought causing you to be depressed and feel defeated. Praying you will be able throw those thoughts away in Jesus name. Praying that if there's anything you need to surrender to the Lord causing your depression and cycle of defeat, you will learn to let go of it. Praying that time will come, in the name of Jesus you will rise up from the ashes FC and shine for God's glory.

I have come here in TJ 2008 with this single purpose, that is to receive help and light to my confuse estate that time, to gain more knowledge and insight that maybe useful to my Spiritual Journey.But as time goes on, the Lord has been talking to me that I need a change of heart and mine why I'm coming here. After that I was put into different testings in a way I cannot even come here for help anymore (lasted almost 3 years). Praying, praying that the Lord has to mold me, clean my heart and change my mind, then He gave me a life verse (my signature here) of which I am aiming to live here and every where the Lord would bring me. Beloved and dear Sister in Christ, how I just pray really, to see you soon one of not wanting and receiving help anymore, but at least to be able to render one also in the near future. I will not give you any more advice on what you must do, brighthouse said it all already (lol).

God bless you and thanks for staying with us here.

Sister in Chris Jesus,

TheWidowsOffering

@Brighthouse ... that's awesome Bro. Joining the heavenly host now praising the Lord for those two precious souls. Yay. To God be the glory!!!

I sometimes wish I were a dog, that I could wonder out into the woods and let nature take its course.

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@Brad Huber LOL bro May 2004, I got that feeling envying the plants also (haha) them having no self-will and will just live by the design and purpose they were created. They have no power and ability to argue, to retaliate or to murmur what's going on with their existence unlike us human beings (haha). That was the time I know the Lord is calling me into the ministry (started actually 2002 when my pastor asked me "how about the Lord to be my Employer - hehe) yet I'm very fearful to give up my work, my dreams, my family they need my help and assistance. I've become very unhappy and discontented with my life, been very anxious of many things to the point a youth told me it seemed I'm not with a right mind already (LOL). I got no more joy in my work. Then I finally surrendered June 2004. So far 8 years being a full time staff is worth living. hehe

Sometimes we have so much fear to follow and surrender what God wants from us, yet not knowing that the Lord is just calling us for better and not for worse. God is good all the time!

@Brad Huber LOL bro May 2004, I got that feeling envying the plants also (haha) them having no self-will and will just live by the design and purpose they were created. They have no power and ability to argue, to retaliate or to murmur what's going on with their existence unlike us human beings (haha). That was the time I know the Lord is calling me into the ministry (started actually 2002 when my pastor asked me "how about the Lord to be my Employer - hehe) yet I'm very fearful to give up my work, my dreams, my family they need my help and assistance. I've become very unhappy and discontented with my life, been very anxious of many things to the point a youth told me it seemed I'm not with a right mind already (LOL). I got no more joy in my work. Then I finally surrendered June 2004. So far 8 years being a full time staff is worth living. hehe

Sometimes we have so much fear to follow and surrender what God wants from us, yet not knowing that the Lord is just calling us for better and not for worse. God is good all the time!

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Amen sister!! God IS good all the time, and He has good plans for us, but sometimes what he wants from is simply to be a witness where we are, with the people all around us, to love them and care about them, and pray for them, and encourage them, and be a representative of the Kingdom of God to them. And sometimes we look for ways out of where we are because (insert reason, be it good or bad here) and we "want" something "we" deem better.

Dear for christ, my heart goes out to you in your hour of need because I have been there where you are now and I am still here after many years of depression which hounded me like a rabid dog. I used to call it the darkness because all around me was darkness. In my early days of depression it felt like a darkness had entered my life which I could not get rid of; like a wet blanket over my entire body which was burden laden. I could not escape it for a number of years. Eventually I was diagnosed with major depression because those depressing feelings never went away; they haunted me day and night without reprieve.

Often I would ruse over the ideation of taking my life to end the troubles I had to face day and night. Praise God and my Family I did not follow through with my ideation of suicide. Let me assure you God is on your side. Jesus says come who are thirsty. I see you think you are no good for our Lord which is a lie perpetrated by the enemy who seeks to destroy us with any way of doubting your salvation. Praise God is in your corner battling for you. You are beautiful in God’s eyes no matter how you feel about yourself. Never doubt that God is on your side. [Matt:2:20] “Where two or more are gathered in my name there I am with them.”

Know there is a light at the end of the tunnel for christ. You will get through this. Focus on Jesus and your family to get you through this. Pour out to our Lord in your time of need your hearts desire and what freedom can bring you. The freedom you seek is peace in your life.

My motto for some years now is to go with the flow. If you feel good embrace it. If you feel sad it will eventually cease for a while. Depression is rather cyclic. It comes and it goes. Learn to read the signs that you may be becoming depressed [sad] ride it because it will go away. Focus on our Lord to bring that peace you seek because God is by your side night and day. Talk to Him how you feel.

You are in my thoughts and prayers for christ.

May the peace of our Lord Embrace your heart and bring you peace in Jesus name.

...I still get these feeling that I'm not good enough for jesus and that I haven't done much for jesus , this has driven me out of my mind , that it makes me feel very depressed . what do I do ?? I really don't know why I feel like I'm not good for jesus...

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None of us are 'good' enough for Jesus, until He touches our hearts. Even when we have received that touch there is still something in us that lies to us telling that we still unworthy. Consider that carefully! No matter how badly or depressed we feel, it is still a lie!

"But Peter said, Not so, Lord; for I have never eaten any thing that is common or unclean.

And the voice spake unto him again the second time, What God hath cleansed, that call not thou common." Acts 10:14-15

We have, all of us, been unclean. We have all been as filthy rags before Him, but when He has cleansed us, how we cannot deny His work and still please Him? Rather simply give God the glory!

If a person is depressed and on medication, they need to understand that they need to constantly have their medication evaluated and possibly changed. The first prescription may not fully address their needs. Tell your doctor about your feelings, even on spiritual things. Our spiritual perspective may be the result of our mind when out of balance due to depression and anxiety.

You are always going to be good enough for Jesus. He loved you before you were even conceived and he will love you forever more. I have struggled with these same issues, and I think three main things helped me:
1. Make sure your meds are right, the right meds can change your entire mind set.
2. Get involved in a church or other community group- it will take your mind off things and start to make you feel more motivated and connected.
3. Pray. Constantly. Whenever you are feeling sad or anxious, just stop, and pray.