Re: Hospice care for dad

Oh Gavin,

I'm so sorry to hear your Dad is nearing the end of his journey. You are an amazinng legacy that your Dad leaves behind...a strong, caring compassionate Man. Your Dad's mind must surely be resting easier knowing he can pass the care of your Mom into your strong and capable hands.

As for your Dad having times he doesn't feel like talking, looking back there really seemed to be a time with my Mom that she seemed to be detaching from us and this world and preparing for the next part of her journey. You are doing everything right....sitting with your Dad when he doesn't need or want to talk and engaging him when he does.

My heart goes out to you. You have so much on your plate and are doing a magnificent job with the way you are handling things. In the words of "another father"...."This is my son, in whom I am well-pleased..."

Stay strong and know we are all here for you.

Many hugs and much, much love,

Pam

My Mom lost her one year battle with CC on April 3, 2009.

"A prognosis is simply an audit of how truly precious each day is. Live each day to the maximum, celebrate what was, and what is - Don't spend your life looking forward to what will or might be." .... words of wisdom from my beloved son on hearing of his grandmother's CC prognosis.

Re: Hospice care for dad

Thank you Val. It does indeed seem so quickly since dad went for his last paper on Tuesday morning, yet so much has happened since then in that short time. I phoned dads closest friends last night and the 3 of them are all going up today to see dad and he will be glad to see them all. I warned them all that dad can't speak too good right now so that they are not too shocked as I didn't want that in case it upsets dad.

Yes the hospice staff are amazing and are all doing such a good job keeping dad comfortable and looking after us all. What is also good is that we know about half of the nurses at the hospice, as they all have worked in the day care unit. They all take turns and spent weeks working in both the day care unit and the hospice, and both hospice and day care are located right beside each other in the same building. I think this is an excellent idea as it means that patients, family and nurses and doctors all get to know each other over time. I know this is good for dad and it does seem to help him, and it's always good to see a friendly face.

Thank you Sharon. I know you are going through this as well and I am sending you strength and courage back accross the Atlantic to you. I know you will do everything that you can to help your mum right now, you are an amazing daughter and you will make the right decisions.

Thank you Katie. I am just away to get mum and then pick up her sister as well and then we will all be going up to see dad. Mum didnt get any sleep last night and is really tired. I managed some but am ready for whatever may lie ahead. I know I need to be strong right now for them both, and I will be.

Thank you Pam. I have told my dad that I will always be there for mum, and I will tell him again today and every day and I'm sure that he knows that I will take good care of her. It's not easy this part of the journey as you know, but I will be beside dad through it all and make him as comfortable as I can. Thank you so much also for sharing your mums experiences with me as I know that must be hard to do.

My thanks as always to you all for your kind words, support and for being there for me, my dad and my mum.

My best wishes to you all.

Gavin

Any advice or comments I give are based on personal experiences and knowledge and are my opinions only, they are not to be substituted for professional medical advice. Please seek professional advice from a qualified doctor or medical professional.

Re: Hospice care for dad

Dear Gavin,

You and your family are in my thoughts today. Take care.

Love & hugs,Darla

"One Day At A Time"

All of my comments and suggestions are just my opinions and are not a substitute for professional medical advice. You should always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care providers.

Re: Hospice care for dad

Hi all,

Well dad looked much better today. When we went in, he was out of bed and sitting in the chair. He was sleeping, but at least he was up. Then he woke up as soon as we went in. Me, mum and my Aunt went up, then his friends came up later so we left them all to talk amongst themselves. Mum is with her sister right now so I thought I would give them some time together before we go back up to see dad.

Dad had a really good night last night, and got a lot of sleep. They have changed his meds again and they seem to working really well. His new anti nausea med is Met something or other, I forgot the name but it also helps with agitation. That is the only medication he is on just now and it is through the syringe driver over a 24 hour cycle. He is also getting an injection of the same drug I think if needed for sickness and has only had one of these last night. The injection helps him sleep also so I think they are giving him another shot of it tonight.

He has also had food today. He woke up very hungry and was complaining about being hungry, so had rice krispies for breakfast and has had something for dinner, steak pie and potatoes. He was sick a bit after dinner, but only a little bit according to the nurse. He is also talking much more clearly and is thinking a lot better. And it was really good to be able to talk right now, so a good day so far. He saud himself that he is feeling much better than yesterday and I think this new medication is working really well. It has also worked with his hic-cups a lot. I spoke with the head nurse, and she said that it if this medication continues like this then they will keep him on it as long as they can as he is really comfortable just now. Still in no major pain and the have the pain meds on hand for injection if needed. He has also been getting a really dry mouth and they are giving him artificial saliva 4 times a day, which dad says is really helping.

He also now has a water type mattress thing on his bed to help his comfort when lying in bed that will change shape with him as he moves in bed. It does look very comfortable indeed and dad loves the idea of it! It also can be programmed to move on a set time cycle for his added comfort.

I had a good talk with the head nurse and she is really nice, and says that it is a joy to take care of dad. The nurses really are amazing there and it is really good to know that dad is in such great caring hands. Said to dad tomorrow if he is up to it and the weather holds that we can see about getting a wheelchair for him and I will take him out for a walk in the grounds so that he can get out and get some fresh air.

My thanks and best wishes to you all.

Gavin

Any advice or comments I give are based on personal experiences and knowledge and are my opinions only, they are not to be substituted for professional medical advice. Please seek professional advice from a qualified doctor or medical professional.

Re: Hospice care for dad

Oh, that all sounds so good, Gavin. Enjoy it and I hope you can take that walk with your dad tomorrow. Maybe some time alone with her sister is what mum needs. We all need some diversion or it can get to be too much. You made me very happy today!

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHINGAny suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: Hospice care for dad

Gavin,

How lovely to read your good report of your Dad's night. I'm so pleased he managed to get some good rest and is comfortable on his new mattress, fingers crossed the cocktail of drugs is working well for him just now.

Re: Hospice care for dad

Hi Gavin,

Glad you all had a more positive day today. I'll be thinking of you and hoping you get to go for that walk tomorrow.

Love & Hugs,Darla

"One Day At A Time"

All of my comments and suggestions are just my opinions and are not a substitute for professional medical advice. You should always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care providers.

Re: Hospice care for dad

Just came in to check and hopefully see an update on how your Dad is doing. What a wonderful post to read! I'm so happy for all of you! Treasure these moments...they are such a gift!

I'll go to sleep smiling for you!

Hugs!Pam

My Mom lost her one year battle with CC on April 3, 2009.

"A prognosis is simply an audit of how truly precious each day is. Live each day to the maximum, celebrate what was, and what is - Don't spend your life looking forward to what will or might be." .... words of wisdom from my beloved son on hearing of his grandmother's CC prognosis.

Re: Hospice care for dad

Hi all,

We saw dad again last night, and he had had a good day he said. And he enjoyed seeing his friends as well and they are going up again as soon as they can. They all go back a long long way. Dad has something again to eat for his tea, maccaroni cheese which he enjoyed and this is the most he has eaten in about a few weeks. Plus he is actually wanting to eat which is also a good change.

He got a bit of pain in his stomach yesterday for which he got an injection. And when we left at night, he still loooked to be in a bit of pain although he said he wasn't. I spoke with the nurse on the way out and told her this and she said that he should not be in pain as they have plenty of things they can do for him if he is. So dad was away to get another pain killing injection and the amount he gets is to be monitored so that they can in need be give the right amount through the driver. If he does get this in the driver, I hope that he is still able to talk as well as he did yesterday as this helped him, yesterday to have a good day. We will see what today brings.

It is raining here just now which is a shame, but hopefully it will stop later. If not, we will see if we can do it the next day. I am also going to speak with the doctor today to see if he can go through to day care tomorrow if he is up to it. If he is then it will be relatively easy to do as we can just get a chair and wheel him through, as it is only a few corridors away from his room. He said before that he would like to go if he can, even if it is just for a short time in the morning and this happens quite a bit with patients in the hospice who also go to day care each week.

Thanks Lainy, I'm glad that made your day and getting out for a walk does sound good, and I will enjoy it, as will dad. I know mum did enjoy her time with her sister and it makes a change from only having me around when she is at home. My cousin is going up to see dad today after her work and mum and dad will enjoy seeing her as well.

Thanks Katie, when we saw dad at night he was back in his bed and he said that the new mattress thing was mighty comfy indeed! I also hope the new meds work from here on in as they definitely helped dad yesterday and it is allowing him to eat some and keep his fluids down and he is drinking a lot more now.

Thanks Darla, hopefully we will have a positive and good day today. Pity it is raining though, dad has always hated the rain! The grounds of the day care and hospice are quite large and very peaceful indeed with lots of bushes and trees and stuff. They also have paths throughout and dad would go walking a bit through them from day care, so I know he would enjoy it.

Thanks Pam, we are treasuring these moments indeed and are as you say a gift. Having the private room for dad is really good as it means he is a lot more comfortable, especially when he has quite a few visitors.

As always, thank you all so much.

Gavin

Any advice or comments I give are based on personal experiences and knowledge and are my opinions only, they are not to be substituted for professional medical advice. Please seek professional advice from a qualified doctor or medical professional.

Re: Hospice care for dad

Hi Gavin,I think about you alot and everything you are going through with your dad. I'm glad to hear his appetite seemed to be back and he enjoyed time with friends. Something to put a smile on your face! Stay strong,Ashley

Re: Hospice care for dad

Hello everyone,

Dad had another good day today. We didn't get out for that walk due to the rain and it was a damp dreary day, so hoping for better weather tomorrow. Tom is Tuesday so dad is hopefully going through to day care for a while in the morning. His appetite has been good again, really good. Toast and porridge for breakfast, soup, mince and rice for dinner and a sandwich for his tea. Now that is a heap of food compared to last week! And again, he is keeping pretty much it all down, so hoping for more of the same tomorrow.

I spoke with the head doctor for hospice today and we had a long chat. He also had a good man to man talk with dad about everything in the morning before we came up. He thinks dad has about a week or so to go now, which is longer than what we thought at the weekend so that is something to be grateful for. He is very impressed at the way dad has repsonded to the new medication and they have added some pain meds to the driver also. They want to monitor that for another day or so and if dad keeps doing as well as he is then he can get home for a few days if he wants. They have got the sickness down to a very low level just now and it is much more manageable. He wont stop being sick, but it is nowhere near as bad as before.

They also taked about the end and dad told the doctor that he wants it to be in the hospice as he feels much more comfortable and safe there. He is very worried about mum as she wont be able to help him at home. But if he can and wants to get home for a few days then I will be there round the clock, so it is really down to dad doing what he wants. He asked my opnion, but I told him to be selfish and think of what he and only he wants. Told him that if he wants home for a bit, then I will sort the house for him and get his bed in the living room, get him a wgheelchair to get him to the bathroom and fit the new bed support so that he can sit up in bed. And someone will be in the room awake all the time with him so it can be done if dad wants it.

His pain is slightly increasing today and he has had a few shots which help him. But this is something that is worrying him about coming home, as we would have to get the nurses round to give him the injections, whereas in the hospice he gets one immediately. I guess there is no right or wrong answer here and dad should do what he feels is right for him. But as with everything to do with his CC, i will support his decision all the way.

He didn't get much sleep last night. They offered him an injection to help if he wanted it but he said no, so he said he would take one tonight. We have just left him and he looked really tired so i am hoping he gets a better sleep tonight. We discussed the care he is getting at the hospice and it can't be faulted at all. I think dad is about as comfortable as he possibly can be right now.

Thank you Ashley. Dad's friend was up again today and his other 2 friends are coming up again on Thursday. These moments are to be enjoyed and we will do so for as long as we can.

Thank you all.

Gavin

Any advice or comments I give are based on personal experiences and knowledge and are my opinions only, they are not to be substituted for professional medical advice. Please seek professional advice from a qualified doctor or medical professional.

Re: Hospice care for dad

Gavin, its just all so strange to me. How "our people" suffer and suffer and then at the end hopefully they can go quietly and with dignity and calling their own time. I guess God pretty much has his plan. All along I don't think there is really anything we can do to change destiny. Teddy has been getting so very tired. I think maybe its his body fighting what's come back. We have not heard anything yet, I will call in the morning. I wanted to give them a decent amount of time to do their deed. Buts its starting to wear on me like an old house dress! This time for you is so very precious now and your dad knows you have been at his side through this whole horrible nightmare. I am so glad everyone is coming to see him and he sounds like he has accepted everything as well as can be expected. Thinking of you and hoping his pain stays low if at all.

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHINGAny suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: Hospice care for dad

Hi all,

Well dad got a good nights sleep last night and is well rested today. And he never took the injection but still slept well. We saw him this afternoon and he looked good. He went to day care for a few hours and enjoyed it and they all made a big fuss over him! If he is still in on Friday then he said he will go again if he can And he is still eating. Porridge and toast for breakfast with soup, gammon steak and ice cream for dinner. He was sick a few times, but not too badly and at least he is still eating. His voice is getting quite hoarse though and I guess this is due to him getting weaker. His pain is still being managed well and the shots are working for that. We had a good day this afternoon and he was able to talk quite well. He is still with us, is peaceful and comfortable and for that we are grateful.

Mum is with her sister and niece just now, girly talk and all that and I came home for a while. They have protected meal times at hospice for the patients comfort so I am going up again as soon as they are finished. I'm taking dad a bottle of his favourite alcholol free beer so he can have that whilst he watches the football. His doctor said it would be okay for him to have some and as she said, it makes a change from water.

Hi Lainy, Sorry to hear that Teddy is so tired, and you sound tired also I can't imagine what it's like to have to fight the insurance company and deal with everything else. I hope you manage to get things sorted with them and that the Radman is kiicking their butts! And also take some time for yourself if you can, you definitely deserve that!

I think that you are right in what you say about dad accepting things as best he can. He seems to be a bit more at ease now with everything and perhaps his man to man talk with the doctor yesterday helped him some. He is looking forward to seeing his friends again on Thursday and we are all making the most of these moments.

Thank you Bazel. I will continue to be with dad and help him right to the end of his fight.

LoveMyMom. Thank you, dads sickness is still a lot better than it has been of late and I so hope that this continues with his new meds.

Thank you Julia. Sleeping at night definitely helps and it means that he has a much better day following. He was getting tired this afternoon so we left him so he could get some sleep before his tea and visitors again in the evening.

Thank you all for keeping us in your thoughts and for your best wishes and my very best wishes to everyone and their families.

Gavin

Any advice or comments I give are based on personal experiences and knowledge and are my opinions only, they are not to be substituted for professional medical advice. Please seek professional advice from a qualified doctor or medical professional.

Re: Hospice care for dad

Hello all,

Dad had a good evening this evening. I saw him for a few hours and he is tired, but he said that he has had a really good day today. He managed to eat his tea, soup, mince and some pudding and was very happy with that. I took him his beer but he didn't drink it so he kept it in the fridge in his room for tomorrow.

We talked a bit and he was talking about mum. She wasn't there tonight as she stayed with her sister for a while and she is real tired. I told him again that mum is in good hands and that I will do my best for her. Told him that she is eating a lot more since I am insisting that she eats more, especially at dinner time so I'm cooking more stuff for her. Hearing this put dad more at ease and he knows that I will take real good care of her.

He slept a bit, on and off and I just sat with him. he told me to go home but I said no and just sat there with him. He drifted in and out of sleep and we talked a little when he was awake. Then he would drift off again and wake and we would talk some more. I reminded him of the time we went fishing up north near Stonehaven on the rocks once when I was about 12. We didn't notice the tide creeping in and nearly got stranded on some rocks. We had to grab all our gear and take a run and jump and dad got his foot stuck in the sand and mud when he landed and had to leave his boot behind him in order to escape the incoming tide! It was funny and it brought some laughs tonight and a smile to dads face. When I left him, he seemed quite contented and had a smile on his face. So a good end to what was a good day, and one that most definitely will be treasured for ever.

Thank you all.

Gavin

Any advice or comments I give are based on personal experiences and knowledge and are my opinions only, they are not to be substituted for professional medical advice. Please seek professional advice from a qualified doctor or medical professional.

Re: Hospice care for dad

Gavin, that is just beautiful. My mother who is 93 is full of dementia now but talk about something from the past and she is full of details. The past is a good, cozy place to be and sure beats talking about the future, sometimes. I so look forward to each and every post of yours, then I feel with our wonderful CC "family" you are really not waling this path alone. Take care and I hope for another good report tomorrow!

Teddy ~In our hearts forever~ATTITUDE is EVERYTHINGAny suggestion I offer is intended as friendly advice based solely on my own experience. Please consult your doctor for professional guidance.

Re: Hospice care for dad

Gavin,

It sounds like you have had some wonderful time with your dad these past days. Just when things seem so dark, there is beauty. I can just picture you and your dad dashing along the rocks and beach, laughing like loons when he lost his boot and then trying to explain it all to your mom when you got home. Thanks for sharing that memory with us all.

Re: Hospice care for dad

Gavin,

I am glad things have eased up some for your Dad. It sounds like things are going along quite well for the moment. I'm sure you don't need to be told this, but cherish this time you have been given it is truely a blessing. Thanks for sharing all of this with us. I too am hoping for peace and comfort for you all.

Love & Hugs,Darla

"One Day At A Time"

All of my comments and suggestions are just my opinions and are not a substitute for professional medical advice. You should always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care providers.

Re: Hospice care for dad

Ahhh Gavin,

What a wonderful gift you are receiving! You are also giving a wonderful gift...that of being with your Dad and reminding each other of happier days. I know your Dad is so comforted knowing your Mom is going to be in good and loving hands.

I'm so glad your Dad is having this time. I'll be smiling at work today thinking of you and your Dad making the "great leap"!

Hugs to all of you!

Pam

My Mom lost her one year battle with CC on April 3, 2009.

"A prognosis is simply an audit of how truly precious each day is. Live each day to the maximum, celebrate what was, and what is - Don't spend your life looking forward to what will or might be." .... words of wisdom from my beloved son on hearing of his grandmother's CC prognosis.

The information expressed is not medical advice. The discussion boards are not intended to replace the services of a trained health professional or to be a substitute for the medical advice of physicians or other healthcare providers. Read the full disclaimer.