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In his new movie, Ralph Macchio faces his toughest challenge yet; to become a Hollywood bad boy. With Karate Kid returning to the big screen, his career fading his friends and family are forced to stage an intervention. In order to re-establish himself in the entertainment industry... more »

In his new movie, Ralph Macchio faces his toughest challenge yet; to become a Hollywood bad boy. With Karate Kid returning to the big screen, his career fading his friends and family are forced to stage an intervention. In order to re-establish himself in the entertainment industry he hits the streets of Los Angeles to show everyone how tough he can be. Coming soon, "Wax On, Fuck Off" « less

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(music plays)
(sound bites from The Karate Kid is heard)
(sound bites end and music continues)
Ralph Macchio: What is this?
June Diane Raphael: Honey, we're worried about you.
June Diane Raphael: All of your loved ones are
here. Your manager,
June Diane Raphael: your family, our mailman, Jose, the gardener,
and Stan our new neighbor.
June Diane Raphael: We just want to talk to you.
June Diane Raphael: Jose, you want to start?
Pickup Driver: Stay cool, Ponyboy!
Teenager: You know he wasn't being
nice, right?
Michael Lerner: I spoke to every studio in
town. They think you're kind,
Michael Lerner: you're polite, you're gentle,
you're sweet. No one wants to hire you.
Kevin Connolly: Nice guys finish last. It's a
cautionary tale.
Kevin Connolly: It's a lesson learned.
Molly Ringwald: Somewhere between Sixteen
Candles and Pretty in Pink,
Molly Ringwald: my publicist told me not to be seen with him.
Michael Lerner: How's he going to
have a career?
Michael Lerner: He's not an
alcoholic. He doesn't do
Michael Lerner: prostitutes. If he were a
degenerate, I could sell him.
June Diane Raphael: Are you sure you've never
slept with anyone else?
Ralph Macchio: No one but you.
(music is playing)
Ralph Macchio: (VO) I am not going to take
this lying down.
Michael Lerner: (VO) What can he play? Huh? A wholesome family man? Where?
Michael Lerner: What planet?
What universe?
Michael Lerner: Where you been? Do you watch
television? Huh?
Michael Lerner: What the fuck are you
talking about?
June Diane Raphael: You want to make
a what?
Ralph Macchio: A sex tape.
With no cuddling.
June Diane Raphael: Are you sure, Ralph?
June Diane Raphael: I mean, the cuddling is your
favorite part.
June Diane Raphael: Look, if you can't get a
sitcom maybe you could market
June Diane Raphael: a face cream for men.
Ralph Macchio: Bullcrap. I've been
hearing that for years.
Ralph Macchio: I meant to do that.
Michael Lerner: Robert Downey Jr.,
Colin Farrell...
(Colin Farrell is heard)
Michael Lerner: ...the kid from England,
what's his name? Hugh Grant.
Michael Lerner: They got arrested for
prostitutes.
Michael Lerner: They had drug problems.
You know, they were brilliant.
Ralph Macchio: What? What?
No pictures guys.
Ralph Macchio: Look, I am trying to have a
clandestine brunch
Ralph Macchio: with my underage lady-friend.
Okay?
Michael Lerner: (VO) They want alcoholics.
Michael Lerner: (VO) Drug addicts.
Michael Lerner: You're none of those.
Ralph Macchio: I don't think you understand.
I'm engaged in illicit
Ralph Macchio: behavior and I would prefer not
to be photographed.
Ralph Macchio: And I'm sorry about
your arm.
Michael Lerner: They got arrested with
prostitutes.
Ralph Macchio: Hey, I just want to get
photographed getting a
Ralph Macchio: handjob from you.
I'll pay cash.
Prostitute: Oh, you so sweet baby.
Why don't you come back when you
Prostitute: turn 18, okay?
Ralph Macchio: Goddamn! You know,
I'm forty-eight years old.
(music plays)
Ralph Macchio: Bonzai, motherfucker.
Club Guy: Hey, what's up Chachi?
Ralph Macchio: I'm not Chachi,
motherfucker!
Barfly #1: Hey, it's the
Karate Kid.
Barfly #2: Yo man, do that crane shit.
Barfly #1: Mercy is for the weak.
Come on. Come on.
Ralph Macchio: Shoot!
Pat O'Brien: Next up here. What was he
thinking?
Pat O'Brien: An unidentified Hollywood
teenager caught on tape in a
Pat O'Brien: Hollywood club brawl.
Molly Ringwald: He tried to get into the Brat
Pack, but he wanted to
Molly Ringwald: change the name to The
Smile Bunch.
Ralph Macchio: I don't want you to
have a nice day.
Ralph Macchio: Have a bad day.
Ralph Macchio: Game over, alright.
(sound of Ralph arguing with June)
Ralph Macchio: You don't have any idea
of what it's like.
June Diane Raphael: What is it?
What's going to make you happy?
Ralph Macchio: I don't want to be happy!
That's all I ever am! No more!
Prostitute: You know this is fifty
dollars, right?
Ralph Macchio: It's so worth it.