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Speaking on behalf of us "nice women" out there, this happens alot. I think men are so used to ****es, when you are nice to them it freaks them out and they run for the hills...thinking we are after a "happily ever after" with them. When I like someone, I'm really nice and very giving to the guy...not needy or clingy at all, but the nice girl thing seems to run them off.

I agree with you there, jaya..........i wouldn't say i'm clingy either...........just treat people like i would want to be treated, although in return I get the big boot in the ass!! lmao My friends are always saying "stop being so nice" "stop being so available" but the way I see it is, why change who i am?? i do have a life and everything but when i like somebody i like to spend time with them you know?? I didn't think there should be a problem with that but there sure seems to be!! lol

how do you think I am feeling right now??? Only joined P.O.F less than a month ago,and already have experienced this problem. First guy I agreed to meet too!!! Went for coffee, not expecting much, but ended up spending the whole evening with him.Told me that normally it doesn't work out that well for him, so here I was feeling like maybe there was a connection.Next night,we went out again and had a great time! Said he enjoyed my company and would like to see me again. Now......I end up feeling like the proverbial 'stalker' because I message him to say "HI" and I either get a very short response or none at all.Sad part is, I really thought he was "genuine" and at one point even asked him flat-out if he was a 'player' and he said he wasn't. I'm not normally a pessimist, but what am I supposed to think of every other guy out there now???? Do you have any idea that maybe you are ruining a good thing for the few 'decent' ones out there????

I see that there are a lot of women complainng about guys that didn't call after the 1st date or 2nd date. Its pretty simple... they're just not that into you.

Its also quite funny because many women will give out their phone numbers and when men leave messages and they don't return them. How often do we hear from men that ask... " I left her a message and she didn't call back?" Well there you go ladies... you now have a small taste of your own medicine. Women will do the same after a few dates... don't pick up phone, don't return messages, etc.... The ladies will then say... doesn't he get it?

Hey girls be who you are and don't let a guy crew your head up . If you like the guy and he bails it wasn't meant to be . Its the same for guys too. Girls say its too soon for me to get back into dating ( I was hurt bad from the last one ? ) So maybe mr. right just pasted you by because you couldn't move past that hurt ( understandable I must say ) He approched and you weren't ready? Guard your hearts . The older you get the harder it gets so learn to take it slow with boundrys . If you have the feeling something is going too fast ,it probably is . A guy will stick around longer if has to work hard for it . If things are too easy for a guy he wonders why was this so easy and is almost let down. They are looking for a challange. Have I made any sense ????

ok I can see the sense in some of what you say, but on the other hand.....why not just skip the B.S. after all is said and done and come clean???? Dust off those big brass balls and use them!! Maybe that way, it will be a little less painful for those of us who are left wondering what happened!

"I won't put up with it", the girl says, while waiting next to the phone. Meanwhile, the guy moved to greener pastures, and calling her is the farthest thing in his mind. Not putting up with it. You go girl, indeed.

I would disagree as some other poster stated that women are getting a taste of their own medicine. The OP and others that have posted did not appear to do anything wrong based on what was posted. Just because some other woman did something to a guy that hurt his feelings doesn't mean it is fair to dish it out to someone else. It works both genders.

Don't beat yourself up over these guys that do not call. They are a dime a dozen (and not even worth the $.10). Not worth expending the effort on them. Keep busing doing fun stuff with a girlfriend, family or something you'd like to do.

I have had this happen to me more times than I care to admit. And all the reasons you all have stated, don't apply to every person and neither has worked in my favor. I've tried every method mentioned here; being a bit more independent, never clingy and nice things for someone like cooking a meal in the first weeks of dating. Even though I remained true to who I am, I got the same results in the end. They either scared themself and told me they needed space (which I gladly gave, I'm not waiting around for someone to get over their own issues) or they just vanished without an explanation, which to me..is just plain rude, which turns me off to that person as you wonder what they'd really do if you got further involved. I am with you OP, I just don't get it. No..you aren't the only one. And it's with men I have met online as well as offline. I have friends who have similar stories. I don't really know what to do anymore..and it's turning me off to dating.

LOL.. well I was talking on the phone with a very nice man for a few weeks...He didn't want to meet too soon as I was recently single and said he didn't want to be a "rebound" So We talked almost every night, then all of a sudden... *poof*.. he was gone.. Haven't heard a word in almost 3 weeks.. LOL.. Perhaps some people get off on that, and maybe he is sitting in a coma somewhere... I have no feelings whatsoever, except a slight loss at what could have been a very special friendship... I guess the only thing to do is MOVE ON.. there are PLENTY OF FISH!

htowngirl,I couldn't believe it when I read that it happened to you too!!!It happened to me twice!!!Boy did I feel dumb!!!Then I realized that it's not me...men generally don't like confrontation and would rather avoid it than deal.Sad but true....at least the immature,disrespectful ones do that.But I haven't let those episodes get me down...it's their loss!!!

Simplicity ! that is such a good additude and with that additude you can land the big fish because your not carrying any baggage of bitterness . The faster a person pulls out of that negitive place the better . Get back to living .

Wow. I am so happy to hear that this doesn;t just happen to me. I mean, It makes me feel so much better to know that all you other wonderful ladies are experiencing the same thing.

Up until a few years ago, dating was easy. The guys were all great and nice and if it wasn't working out we just parted ways, no hard feelings and that was that. I don't know what happened between then and now, but WOW i just don't know what's going on.

#1, I dated this guy for about a month, stayed over a few times, he cooked for me, we went to the movies together, stayed home and watched the hockey game, then he introduced me to his parents. I thought, wow things are going really well! I actually ahd dinner with a bunch of his family. A few weeks later i stopped hearing from him, I didn't think much of it, i knew he was going home fro c-mas and later found out that his dad had a heart attack. Well about a month later i heard from him again and we got back into our old routine. After a total of knowing and dating hom for 5 months, i stopped hearing from him. Our last date was my on the weekend of my birthday.

I'm not even going to go into the second time this happened. But i mean after you date someone for more than a few dates, shouldn't there be a common courtesy just to say this isn't going anywhere? Lets be friends?

I think i'm delusional or something from growing up in a small town where everyone was nice to each other :P

[D) send her an email or message with something as simple as " sorry, but not what I'm looking for]

"D" sounds good to me, after a few dates anyways. At least it's something. If they can't be brave enough to do it in person, at least I'm not left wondering. But I do think if you've dated more than three months, in person is the more responsible/adult thing to do.

Girlfriend, did you read the book he just aint that into you, omg it was halarious, i would never call a guy more than once, it only takes one time, buzzz, hello, call me back, and its ova......but then i have thick skin, and maybe that is a bad thing??

i look at it this way. there r people men/women out there that r scared to handle uncomfortable situations so they take the easy way out and act irresponsible. they avoid,lie etc.. they just don't have the guts!!! thern there r players. they just simply cast there emotions aside and think all about what they want. a few goodtimes,sex or money and after they have there fill,it's adios w/o warning. sometimes they stick ,lick and send u away. u have heard that phrase.

HELLO PEOPLE, ITS SIMPLE, IF HE DONT CALL YOU BACK reason is he dont want to, because if he wanted to, he WOULD, NOT STOP BEING WUSS'S LADIES, AND BE THE **** YOU WERE BORN TO BE, YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.....DONT LET THE DOOR HIT YOUR ASS, INSTANT GETOVER IT MODE LOL life is too short to wonder, and wait, and worry and cry, REMEMBER NO ONE DIES A VIRGIN , THE WORLD FUKS EVERYONE LOLOLOLOL

I DISAGREE OUTDOREGRL, trust me it aint nothing else but these words, HE DATED YOU, TRIED AND FIGURED OUT, HE DONTTTTT LIKE YOU, and i think he has the right to answer to you or not answer to you, thats why it is called dating

i'm talking about a man or womn that tells u that they r going to call u and don't or say they r going to show up and don't or they give you there phone number or business card but they really don't want to because it's easier to not confront uncomfortable situations especially when u know u don't ever have to see there face. it's when u know u have to see there faces maybe lets say at work that all of a sudden they have to get there thumb out of there mouth and be mature and speak up be truthful. I know how hard it is to be up front!!! shit, we have all avoided situations some way or another for being just down right chicken shiitts and take the easy way out AVOIDANCE!! IT'S SO EASY TO JUST RUN.

The way we break off relationships should be tailored towards the individual we are breaking up with. Just sending a simple email just doesn't work on drama queens, just like breaking all contact probably won't work on stalker types.

I have tried breaking it off with women I wasn't interested in by talking to them and what usually happens is we end up making a few concessions and keep seeing each other. But it's never the same after that and we end up breaking up anyway, but it gets alot more nasty on the way towards splitsville.

So sorry... but I can see where just breaking off all contact can be beneficial to both parties... it avoids a lot of unnecessary drama.