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Friday, October 10, 2014

Beer for the ALCS

Posted by
Bull E. Vard

Hey KC, got anything going on this weekend?

Of course you do.

This is it, these are the glory days. You’ve suffered from
the baseball stylings of such luminaries as Joe Vitiello, Mark Quinn, Emil
Brown, Jimmy Gobble, Jon Nunnaly, Dee Brown, the sweet left handed swing of Michael Tucker, Tom Goodwin and Chip Ambres to the exalted
heights of the ALCS. You’ve Dufresned yourself into being America’s sweetheart,
the plucky little team that ran. That’s what speed do.

You’ve survived through 4 games so far, 3 extra inning heart
stoppers and you’ve probably come up with your own little coping mechanisms.
But the cupboard’s probably bare, you’ve already done your Saison-Brett
vertical. You already drank that BBQ from a couple of years ago and you're going to lay down the ones you got this week because you know better than Pauwels. Two Jokers,
long forgotten. You’ve even had your
wife do that thing you don’t want any of your friends to know you like. How are
you going to get through 7 games against the mid-Atlantic darlings, the
Baltimore Orioles?

You realize you’re going to have to sit there and watch
Jason Vargas pitch to Nelson Cruz with 2 runners on and a 1 run lead. You
realize Ventura’s going to run out there in the 7th inning with a 1
run lead, walk a dude and have a red hot Greek God Nick Markakis stride to the
plate. Where are you Ned? Where? For the love of god where are you Ned? You
realize the game is going to be on the line down by a run, Zach Britton
pitching in the top of the 9th in Baltimore and the only thing
keeping the Old Bay crab fingered, Natty Bo smelling, Cal Ripken loving denizens of
Camden Yards from going home happy is Omar Infante.

I know what those of us in the mid-Atlantic are going to be
reaching for, a nice healthy Heavy Seas Imperial Stout or a DuClaw Deception. The nice 9% beer will
go great with our oysters and Orioles fans’ withering fear of the triumvirate
of Herrera, Davis and Holland, and of the smoke brothers of Ventura, Duffy and
Finnegan. But, what should Kansas City reach for?

It’s been a long time from 1985 to 2014, The last time the Royals were in this position they were worried about Dave Stieb, Jim Clancy, Lloyd Moseby, Jesse Barfield, Jorge Bell and the super platoon of Mulliniks and Gruber.

What
better beer to reach for than a Long Strange Tripel? It has the high alcohol
content to soothe your nerves. The sweetness will certainly cover up any
bitterness you feel for that horrific error by Moustakas or horrible
baserunning blunder by Billy or that terrible call or that key strikeout by
Escobar. But, it’s not such an alcohol bomb that you wouldn’t hesitate to pop
open a second bomber or third bomber for the 13th
inning. It’s soothing enough to enjoy while watching HDH mow down O’s in the 7th,
8th and 9th. It’s the perfect beer to watch the hometown
team in rarefied air. Welcome to the ALCS, it’s been a long strange trip.