Honey, I'm a gal who's two months shy of my 39th birthday and I've never been married, so now, it certainly is NOT too young!

It probably would be best if you gave yourself a break from any kind of relationship right now, because it sounds like you're so anxious not to be alone that you just get involved with the first gal who comes along and that's always trouble. Give it a rest for awhile, you'll soon realize that you don't need a girlfriend to be happy and that just because you don't have one doesn't mean you are a loser (you sure don't look like one to me, btw)! Then you'll be ready for a real relationship with someone you're genuinely interested in for her, and not just because you want a girlfriend.

And as for being alone during the holidays, believe me, you're NOT alone! Many, many other people are in the same boat. It's probably been a good ten years since I've had a boyfriend during the holidays, and a couple of years since I've even had a relationship. That definitely doesn't mean, though, that I don't have a life.

I've always broken up a relationship before Valentine's Day or started a relationship after Valentine's Day. It does suck to be spending Valentine's Day with oneself or another friend, and getting drunk on red wine and swearing off love forever....

I haven't had anyone to be with on VD for many, many, years, and I just HATE it every year. That is the one day of the year when I really hate being single and unattached; I'm one of those old-fashioned romantics, so it's really depressing to see all of the flowers/candy/candlelight dinners, jewelry, etc., etc., etc.,. being showered on other people during the day and evening and having to hear all about VD plans from co-workers, dealing with flower deliveries for others at the office, etc., etc., etc. No amount of telling myself that there's nothing wrong with being alone on VD and that it's just cultural conditioning seems to work! I'm fine by the next day, though.

That does, indeed, seem like an interesting way to handle it, since most couples seem especially smug on that day (nah hah, I've got it and you don't, nah, nah!). It's getting really bad because of my age, though, I'm a gal who's almost 39 and people (can we all say the word FAMILY here?) are starting to get that peculiarly condescending tone, I'm sure you know what I mean! I would think it's easier for men than women, though.

i think i have some sort of phobia. I'm serious, i can never let a relationship go into the holidays or valentine's day, it simply terrifies me, so i end up breaking them off before then. I was just thinking about this yesterday, i'm glad to see there are others out there who have had the same experiences

After being single for 10 years (following an amicable divorce), and not really dating anyone seriously in that 10 years I believed that I would spend the rest of my life without a "significant other".

My three sons were growing up, and the oldest on (out of concern for me) and the youngest one (out of a desire to get me out of the house so he could sneak in girls) convinced me that I needed to date. The prospects in my area were pretty slim, and I'm not the easiest person to get along with. I am very opinionated, passionate about my beliefs, strong willed and self-sufficient. (some might say "hard") So, my oldest signed me up with a computer dating service and insisted that I fill out the survey.

It's not the most romantic way to "make a connection" - but the real romance, I have found is in having the greatest relationship of anyone I know, and being thankful for it every day.

I met my (now) husband before my free two week trial had even expired, it was literally "love at first sight" when we finally met in person, and like I said before we were married within 3 months.

We were both in our late 30's, this is my second marriage, and his first. We are absolutely perfect for each other, hopelessly in love, disgustingly happy - and to think - he only lived 30 miles away, but we never would have met if we didn't do such a "geeky" and "desperate" thing as fill out a computer dating questionaire!?!

I'm 45 and I've been putting up with this kind of female behavior for twenty-eight years.

And the Answer is ...

You don't need a woman to make you whole.

Imagine what your life would be like if you didn't have the intense need to be in a relationship to verify your existence. Imagine what it would be like if you, yourself, were OK.

It would kind of be like living in virtual reality, on the (Schiz-)Matrix, in cyberspace, as a being of pure energy, etc. Or something like that. Right?

Imagine the freedom you would have if you could wake up in the morning and say to yourself I just don't need it. You could want it if you chose it, and you could take it if it was offered, but you wouldn't have the compulsion or the sense of emptiness.

At first we were hot and heavy. Then it just kind of got boring. We didn't have much in common. Conversations and dates became more infrequent. Eventually the end came. I guess it was inevitable. Like I wrote, i'm not too depressed about it. Just would've liked it to work out. It's been a while since i've been in a long term relationship (something longer than 4 months). It's not like I thought she was "the one." Just a bit bummed that it ended and i'm back to having no one.

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