(I am a customer in line at a convenience store. There is one man in front of me who pays for a chocolate milk and leaves. As the cashier is checking me out, the customer with the chocolate milk comes barging back into the store.)

Customer: “Dude, you need to let me exchange this milk. It is out of date!”

Cashier: “Of course. If the milk is out of date, you may certainly get another one.”

(The cashier takes the milk and sets it aside without looking at it while he continues to check me out. The customer disappears toward the back of the store and then comes stomping back to the counter less than a minute later.)

Customer: “ALL of your milks are out of date! What sort of place is this?!”

Cashier: “Really? We just had a delivery…” *checks the date of the chocolate milk he set aside earlier* “This milk is still good! It says December 12th.”

Customer: “Dude, the 12th was at the BEGINNING of the month! We’re at the END of the month!”

Cashier: “No, sir. Today is December 10th.”

Customer: “Nuh-uh! Today is the 26th! Yesterday was Christmas!”

(The cashier shows the customer a calendar hanging behind the counter.)

Cashier: “No, sir. We haven’t had Christmas yet. It’s only December 10th, and Christmas isn’t until the 25th.”

Customer:*dazed look* “Dude…I like, dreamed that yesterday was Christmas! I guess I didn’t get a new car from my Grandma, either. I thought somebody stole it!” *takes his milk and leaves*

Me: “Not even close. You used several highly offensive racial slurs, but not once did you ask for a pack of cigarettes.”

Customer #1: “Whatever. Just get me the f***ing cigarettes!”

Me: “Yeah, that’s not happening. I’m exercising my right to refuse you service. The door’s right over there, have a nice day!”

Customer #1: “You’re kidding, right? What the f*** is your problem?”

Me: “It’s simple, really. If someone is bothering other customers, I am required to kick them out of the store. Your crude and abusive language is clearly bothering the customers in line behind you, so there you go. Goodbye.”

Customer #1: “What the f*** is wrong with you! What’s wrong with calling a [slur] a [slur]? They’re all f***ing [slurs], and you’re all a bunch of f***ing b****ds. You hear me? You’re all—”

(At this point Customer #1 turns around to yell at the other people in line, but cuts off as he catches sight of the customer right behind him. Customer #2 is a male African-American that could accurately be described as ‘terrifyingly enormous’. It should also be noted that one of the slurs Customer #1 has been using was aimed at African-Americans.)

Customer #1: “Whoa, man. I said ‘sand [slur]’. I don’t have any problem with you!”

Customer #2:*stares down at Customer #1* “Lemme see if I’ve got this right. You’re a loud-mouthed, ignorant, bigoted a**hole, but that shouldn’t bother me because you don’t have a problem with me specifically?”

Customer #1: “Uh, yes?”

Customer #2: “Uh, no. The nice man behind the counter asked you to leave the store. I suggest you do so before I decide you need some help getting through the door.”

(Customer #1 immediately flees out the door, allowing Customer #2 to put his four coffees on the counter.)

Customer #2: “Just the coffees, my friend.”

Me: “Dude, the look on that guy’s face was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. For that, and for helping me out, your coffee is on me.”

(The next day I told my manager what happened. After reviewing the security tapes (and laughing for a good 20 minutes) she gave me a nearly half a box of free coffee vouchers to give Customer #2. When I quit two years later, he still hadn’t run out of them.)

(I work in a convenience store across the street from a university. A car load of four kids pull up to the store.)

Customer #1: “I want a pack of cigarettes.”

Me: “Can I see your ID, please?”

Customer #1:*angry* “I’m 18, I don’t need to show you my f***ing ID.”

Me: “Sir, if you don’t obviously look old enough, I have to ask.”

Customer #1: “I don’t have my ID!”

Customer #2: “It’s okay, dude. I’ll buy them for you.”

Me: “No, you won’t, sir. Since I know you are buying for him, and he doesn’t have ID, I can’t sell to you.”

Customer #2: “Bulls***! Give me the f***ing smokes!”

Me: “Sorry, no.”

Customer #3: “Fine, I have my ID. I’ll buy for everyone.”

Me: “Now I can’t sell to you, sir.”

(An argument ensues at which point, I keep telling them that if I know that I am selling to someone who is buying for a person who doesn’t have his ID, I cannot by law sell them cigarettes. Finally all four leave, get into their car and move their car to the parking place on the side of the building. The fourth customer gets out, comes up to the counter and asks for four packs of cigarettes. Now, I know he is buying for his friends, but if he doesn’t admit this, I can sell him the smokes without any problems.)

Me: “Are you buying for the customers that were just in here?”

Customer #4: “Yes.”

Me: “I can’t sell to you either. Have a good night.”

(About an hour later, the police show up at the store. They inform me that they received an anonymous call claiming I was handing out baggies of white powder.)

(I am a customer in line at a convenience store. Customer #1, the lady in front of me in line, is complaining loudly about everything, from the slow service (which wasn’t slow at all) to the way the young clerk is dressed. Finally, Customer #2, the man in front of her, turns around.)