Abby: Friend's focus on food may be turning into an obsession

By Abby

Updated 7:11 pm, Sunday, April 15, 2012

Dear Abby:

My friend "Veronica" is obsessed with food - not just eating it, but also talking about it, looking at it and watching me eat. She frequently asks me what I'm eating, especially if it's something I have made.

On a daily basis, Veronica announces what she's making for dinner that night, what she made the night before and what kind of desserts she has planned. I used to share my food with her, but I stopped when she wanted bites I didn't offer. I had to stop buying from the vending machine at work, too, because Veronica began to expect to share.

Veronica will tap her cup on the table and watch me out of the corner of her eye. If anyone at the table has extra food or dessert, Veronica will be the first to take it.

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Veronica is a good cook and she's not overweight. But she's driving me crazy. Is her obsession some kind of disorder?

Food-Shy in Ohio

Dear Food-Shy:

Your friend does seem to be preoccupied with food. From your description of her behavior it's surprising that she doesn't have a weight problem. Yet you say she makes dinners and desserts every night.

Could it be that she doesn't eat breakfast or lunch? Or could she be short of money? While I agree that what you have described could be signs of an obsession, it is possible that the woman is famished.

Dear Abby:

I'm 18, and my best friend was raped a year ago. It took her a long time to be able to tell me, and although I begged her to tell, she would not go to the authorities. She has heard stories from other girls and has reason to believe the same boy has raped them, too.

I believe if she came forward, the other girls might speak up. But I can't change her mind.

Is there something I can do? Can I go to the police? I don't want to see her regret not doing something.

Wish I Could Do More, Birmingham, Ala.

Dear Wish:

The most helpful thing you can do is encourage your friend to contact a rape treatment center. If she is reluctant to go, then give her the phone number of the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (R.A.I.N.N.). It's 800-656-4673.

However, she needs to do this for herself. As well-meaning as you are, you can't do it for her.