Connected by Erin Davis

In her new book Connected, Davis talks about the pain of loneliness while “swimming in a sea of people.”

Follow along with Davis as she tells of her journey to “cure” this epidemic. Trying various things from a Social Media Fast to not using anything “automated” at all, she shares in a fun but truthful fashion the struggles of being lonely and disconnected.

As I read this book, I found my shy, isolated self completely relating to what she was talking about. Most people that truly know me, know that I’m an outgoing cut up – kid at heart and just love each and every day. I love people and meeting new people on any level isn’t a problem for me. But, they forget about the “loner” that lives within my heart. The girl that loves doing things along, being alone and thinks that watching a movie in a theater and NO one else is there is a gift. There is just something cool about it.

So many people are lonely and have no clue what to do to break out of the cycle. It seems to be a never ending curse.

Davis reminds us that “All people, all places, all walks of life – we are built for connection.”

Sometimes we have to step outside of our comfort zone and chat with people.

Sometimes we have to put a halt to our busy schedule and make time to have lunch/dinner with those we love and adore.

Sometimes we have to put down the phone and play in the homemade fort that is taking up the living room.

If you’ve ever struggled with loneliness even though you are surrounded by people you are NOT alone.

Author Erin Davis shares several things that she did on this journey that you will find helpful and may spark other ideas as well.

May I add a few thoughts to help you connect as well?

Eye contact – for everyone! Your spouse, children, friends, family etc. They will know beyond a shadow of a doubt you are paying attention to them.

HUG – Hugs are awesome. Seriously – go hug someone.

When you are at a restaurant, bank or store and the person helping you has on a name tag, USE their name. Especially when saying thank you.

Schedule time with friends and family that live outside your home – We try to get together often. Don’t wait until a funeral to come together. Schedule monthly meals somewhere and those that can come..will and those that can’t, maybe the next time they can.

At Church take some time to greet others, speak to others instead of rushing through the service and time. Shake hands with someone you don’t know. Help a mom get her children to the nursery. Say something encouraging to the Pastor, Youth Pastor or Assistant Pastor.

Lastly – there is no right or wrong way to set limits with your technology/Social Media use. I love technology and depend on it to keep up with my son who is 3 hours away and my daughter who is 14 hours away. I love being able to keep up with family that is not close as well as encourage those around the globe via Twitter. But, there are limits I personally set. For instance, I have NO notifications coming to my phone. Zero. Other than texts and calls I get my emails and other notifications when my time permits it. When we have dinner, it’s been cell phone free for years. We even had our children do the same when they were growing up. Again, no right or wrong way, just find out what works for you.

I love this book and I’m thankful for BH Publishing Group for allowing me to give away a 2 copies of this book for you.

There is a section in the back where you can use the question to connect with God and with others. It’s a great book to use as a Bible Study help or in a Small Group/Sunday School setting.

Loneliness has a way of jumping over all geographical and social boundaries.

Knowing and being known only happens when we allow the roots of our relationships to grow deep.

(In regards to God’s love being a precious gift) – Being so intimately known is the vaccination we all need to cure our deep feelings of loneliness.

Yes, Jesus loves me this I Know. But when loneliness comes, I need to be reminded that Jesus KNOWS me. This I love!

So often, loneliness is not something that is forced upon us, but rather a path we choose to walk. While painful, loneliness is the path of least resistance. Connection takes effort. But it is worth fighting for!

I Have 2 copies that I’d love to give away.

To be entered to win, please leave a comment below about how you connect with people(or not.) THIS will do more than enter you to win – it will ENCOURAGE someone who is struggling with this….so go, comment and thank you.

What are your thoughts about being lonely in a sea of people?

Do you struggle with this?

How do you connect with others?

Commenting below will help and encourage others. Thank you for helping and encouraging others

Comments

I too can feel lonely in a crowd but that has been a problem even before we got overwhelmed with technology. My phone is used for texts, calls and maybe the occasional picture. All reading is actual books or Kindle. A smile and a “hello” to people I pass while walking from my car to work is one small connection tool. I also try to have a smile in my voice as I work in a high volume inbound call center and speaking to someone who is vocally smiling just might make the caller’s day.

Ten years ago I was a major extroverted social bunny! Life happened. Moved to another state don’t know too many people. Only connect with school peers on social media. Sometimes I get lonely & sad about being alone. But i realize I am choosing to be socially aloof . And sometimes it’s ok just be by yourself! The Joy of Yahweh is my strength!!

I try to stay connected with others through different means as I know left to my own thoughts I can really be self destructive with the lies that I buy into. God also created us to live and be in community, we may feel like we need quiet alone time sometimes but even the most introverted personality requires community, that’s just how He wired us. I have needed a mentor, having little ones can be so trying at times, and so as difficult and awkward as it was I forced myself to be bold and asked a woman at church that I’ve admired if she’d be willing to take me under her wing. And God has so blessed me for it. She comforts me when I need it but also encourages me with the biblical instruction and loving reproof that I often need too. I try as I can to be a friend and encouragement to other young moms/moms with littles through Facebook or at church, etc. And I try to stay connected to some unsaved young moms I know that hopefully God will use me as a witness in their life through my friendship and testimony. It was really hard at first (and as always with a newborn) getting the kids ready and going out to anything. And it can be very intimidating and seemingly overwhelming to handle these young ones by myself in unfamiliar places/get togethers – but is so often worth it for the time of fellowship. I also try to make sure I can get out once in a while with some Godly faithful women without the kiddos so I can be distraction free while fellowshipping/praying.

@michele – it’s a great idea to text, call and reach out that way. Smiling is HUGE and not to many people do it. And I can always tell when I have to call a support desk or help line if the person on the other end of the phone is “smiling” at me or not. Its pretty cool and I think that “vocally smiling” is a big deal in todays world! Thank you for adding to this conversation!

@susie – ohh goodness, life does happen that way doesn’t it. It is ok to be by yourself, but when the loneliness gets overwhelming, many people don’t know what to do and even worse, they feel that something is “wrong” with them and it truly isn’t. I love that when we are “alone” as a Child of God we are never truly alone! Thank you for adding your insight to this conversation!

@monique – this is so true! Thank you for bringing this up! So many people do buy into the lies and then the self destruction starts! I’m so glad that you found aMentor! Its good to encourage others especially at church and those around us. We need to move out of our own little hurried worlds at church and really reach out and help. There is a spot in the book where the author discusses “church” and the freenzie that usually happens on any given Sunday morning. I giggled as I remembered some of the days when my kids were younger – we had pleanty of time but still was late and frazzled.

Ladies – I think for us, it’s more important than with the guys but we need our sister time. We need to get together with other gals and just relax, laugh and have a good time.

Thank you ladies for adding to this discussion and helping those that stop by that might be facing the same situation or feeling so alone.

I am mostly homebound, so social media is a true God-send for me. I do other things, though, to help others know that they are not alone. One thing I do is write cards every week. Just because. It’s really fun, and can brighten a day more than we might realize. Another thing I do is that when I am on my way to doctor visits, I wave and smile at people we meet on the road. Whether they are in a car or walking, they always smile to be acknowledged. Thank you for the great ideas, Marie!! Hugs are my favorite! 🙂

Thanks @shelly. You do have an awesome prayer ministry and I know of the smiles received from those cards. 🙂 thank you for adding to this conversation with your story. Like I have to stay connected with my kids – you use technology to connect and minister to others. It’s a great thing to be able to do!

Thanks @Delorise!! Many servers get such a hard time and I know they always appreciate cheerful customers like you!

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