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Why Going Through A Life Crisis Is A Positive Thing

In my life and work I have come across many people who have gone or are going through what can expediently be defined as a “life crisis”. The word carries a lot of negative connotations of course, since it is associated with very difficult life passages often brought about by circumstances beyond the volition or ‘control’ of the person, such as: loss of loved ones, difficult family problems, financial loss or a health related issue. Sometimes crises are also brought about by drastic turning points in one’s life where the person feels that he or she is losing solid reference points such as identity or life purpose. The classic middle life crisis is a pertinent example.

What I would like to talk about is the positive and constructive side of crises which is very often overlooked. When I was doing my research for my masters in Philosophy some years ago, I was looking into how intelligent adaptive systems behave. To cut a long story short, what I realised was that systems change and self-organise themselves by going into momentary crises – a shock to the system where it loses balance, integrity and identity for a brief moment. The result is that it changes and restructures itself into a system that is better adapted to its environment. Continuous change and evolution happens through big or small crises and ‘revolutions’.

An obvious analogy to the above is with the human life crisis. When we go through a crisis, we are not experiencing a fault which needs to be fixed but rather living through an opportunity to ‘restructure’ ourselves and come out as stronger individuals more adapted to life’s currents and problems. Here are some of the great opportunities offered by life crises:

Break the Illusions:

A crises very often shatters the ‘reality’ of the individual. It can be so disruptive that the whole reality seems to come crumbling down. In many ways this can be a really positive thing. In our lifetime we build all sorts of beliefs, attachments and ideas which are illusory at best. Some of them grow stronger as they get reinforced by decisions we take and experiences we make. These fabricated realities or illusions can be so deeply ingrained that it can only take a ‘system shock’ or crisis to pierce through them. In fact crisis makes the person feel bare and naked. Stripped away from his constructed illusions he comes to realise how deeply attached he or she was to something inauthentic and unreal.

Discover New Signs & Meanings:

When someone goes through a crisis it changes their perspective on life. Those things and beliefs that were once held sacrosanct are questioned. With this fundamental change in values and perspective, we are given the opportunity to discover new meanings and signs around us that symbolise these new meanings. We change our language of life which can make us fluent and conversant to experiences we never brought to our attention before.

Propel Change:

Of course change is the obvious positive overtone of a crisis as pointed out in the idea of system shocks. A crisis can rock us hard to the core. But although its passage can be dark and painful it can resurrect us to new beginnings – the most positive and transformative change.

Opportunity to Overcome Fears:

In our darkest hour we face our biggest demons which ultimately translate to our deepest fears. Fears can persecute us throughout our whole life but without critical life passages such as crises, we would have no opportunities to come face to face with them – and this is where the biggest chance of overcoming fears lies.

Reboot your System:

By breaking illusions and overcoming fears you are going through a complete system reboot. Crisis in fact can be a very thorough cleansing process. Of course it feels nothing like that when you are going through it, but once the storm passes by you are left with new eyes and most of all a stinger heart. Sometimes a crisis can be considered a second death – or a death of the ego – and with death comes rebirth.

Peeling Off Old Skin:

Crises are not always totally disruptive. There can be minor life crisis which are not strong enough to reboot your system and build you up from scratch but tough enough to be able to peel off layers of old skin. It toughens you up, make you more supple and better adapted to many of those things that were grinding you down. You experience an opening, emotionally and sometimes spiritually, that syncs you with a deeper part of your being.

Come out Stronger:

Crises can most of all be testing. In those moments were one feels completely lost and hurt, there is opportunity to be tested. Remember that crises can also be seen as initiation of life – a test or challenge that can take you to a new level of being. It ultimately makes you stronger not because it would have ‘hardened your skin’ as some suppose but oppositely because it makes you more supple and open to life’s storms.

Getting in Touch with your Authentic Self:

The point about openness in fact points to another hidden benefit. I mentioned how crisis can break our illusions in the first point. Illusions can be both about our external life but also about the internal one. We can have many illusions about ourselves such as inauthentic self-images or identities. Breaking those illusions and being more open will lead us to a closer and truer aspect of ourselves.

Opening up to Love:

Even the toughest of characters can be softened up in the middle of a life crisis. We realise how frail and sensitive we are. We understand the importance of other people’s care and love but more importantly we realise how important it is to give it out. A crisis can be a really big opportunity to come to terms with our past and ourselves. It shakes us to the core and often we fully comprehend how we were ’stiff’ and closing off ourselves to love behind the mask of our careers, our social personas or our self-images.

An excellent Opportunity to Trust:

The real challenge of a crisis is letting go and trusting. It is counterintuitive to let go and trust in the moment when we feel most battered or betrayed by life – hence the challenge. Yet, it is the greatest and most rewarding benefit of any crisis. The harder we resist, the more difficult the passage will be. It is a little bit like when you are floating at sea and waves come at you. If you struggle hard, your muscles stiffen, you lose a lot of energy and breath and you might eventually risk going under. By letting go and relaxing it is easier to stay afloat.

Hopefully this article has helped you remember that you are in control, and can use your struggles as catalysts for positive change in yourself. You got this!

I'm having what could be defined as a life crisis, and all I'm finding out is how alone I am, and how hopeless everything is. There is no positive experience that can be gained from having a car break down the weekend before starting on the next stage of my life journey in an attempt to better my circumstances (I'm attending university starting on Monday) and being utterly stymied at every attempt to acquire a functional vehicle. I can't get a loan, I can't buy through a dealership, I don't have the cash to buy one up front. I also can't work without my car because I'm a delivery driver. Where is the goodness in this utterly hopeless situation? My friends and family can't or won't cosign with me, I can't work without a vehicle and I don't know how I'm going to manage getting to classes. There is no lesson here, no chance for improvement in my life.

Hi Amy,
When I went through my own life crisis, it felt like everything was conspiring against me. Bad things just kept piling up until it hit critical mass and I had a meltdown. What I realize now is, I needed that to happen. If there had been a reprieve, or if even one thing had gone right, I wouldn't have been forced to redesign my life. Now on the practical side, have you exhausted your financial aid options? I personally believe in borrowing as much as you have to in order to make college happen. When you graduate, you will be making a LOT more than those loan payments will cost, and they will be capped at 10% of your earnings if you qualify for federal loans. Good luck!

I just lost my soul mate in a tragic accident. I feel completely lost...I've had a really hard life -experienced many horrible things & suffered many terrible losses, so much so that I never thought I could love, didn't believe in it...then he entered my life & opened not only my eyes, but my heart & even my soul! He truly was my only love & losing him has shaken me to the core & literally shattered my very soul. I am in constant pain, I don't know how I am going to get through this...he was the driving force behind effort I made to turn my life around & let go of the past & now he is gone & I can longer see a future. I am not suicidal, however I have never been more ready for God to come take me away from this world because the only true sense of home I have ever known was with my best friend, my lover, my other half...& now he is gone. I find no comfort here...

Ashley, I'm so sorry you are going through this. Maybe it would help to think about what he would want for you? He loved you so much. How can you honor him now? Maybe being useful to others in some way? Paying forward his love and kindness by finding a way to be loving and kind to others might be a way to have him still be with you in some way, and might offer you some solace.

This happened to me 2 years ago and I truly believed I couldn't go on. Then I started to believe that he was my angel and would send someone else to me when the time was right. I have since met that someone, and there are signs all the time that he is still a part of my life. His love never left me, it just moved through another being. True love never dies, it just moves on. You will feel this love again once you start to heal from the pain, I promise!

I'm so sorry to hear :( I hope in time you're able to move on. Just cherish all the good times and memories you shared together, and think if he is watching over you; the last thing he'd want is to see you suffering like this.

I too am a victim of constant internal disturbance but at the same time I'm aware that I'm not the only one. I know everyone over here will eventually become one with themselves and find what they're looking for. Just keep perceiving everybody.

When you complain about an issue, you are a victim. Everything that occurs to us here on Earth is a life lesson that was worked out beforehand with Creator. How you respond to it develops your character. Change your perspective, change your "filter" that you view things through. Positivity and positive energy works wonders. I find that prayers, meditation, visualizing and then manifesting what you want works, even if it takes extra effort. Re~center, ground and focus on the positive outcome you wish you see. Blessings _()_