STATEN ISLAND, N.Y. — Diane Barry was as equally audacious and irresistible to clergy in the upper echelons of her beloved Catholic faith, as she was to friends and entertainers in her favorite New Jersey Shore communities.

A devout Catholic and 27-year religious education instructor at Holy Rosary R.C. Church, South Beach, she also enjoyed good times and laughs with her many parish friends, said her husband of 37 years, Edmund.

"I always accused her of being a pastor's prod with a large honey jar," said Barry, of his wife's ability to remain a well-loved yet outspoken and dedicated laywoman of the church. "She had a way."

Diane and Edmund met in 1963 at Avon-by-the-Sea. Twenty years later, it became a tradition for them to hike all over the Jersey Shore.

The weekend after the terrorist attacks on the Twin Towers, Barry, along with his son Kevin, went to some of his old shore retreats, trying to regroup from the unthinkable events.

His wife remains among the missing since the collapse of the World Trade Center, along with many of her closest friends and associates in Aon Corp., where she had been an administrative assistant in the Natural Resources Department for six years.

Never abrasive, she had a charming way of making her presence known, much to the delight of her cohorts, but especially to her husband, whose genuine admiration and love for his wife comes through in every word he says.

"She was the most liberal conservative I'd ever met," said Barry. "Diane was blessed with a gift. God gave her a center. Everyone who knew her felt her center emanating from her. She was profoundly human and deeply spiritual."

When Mrs. Barry celebrated her 60th birthday at Windows on the World, atop Tower 1, some of the guests marveled at how she remained so calm so high in the sky. "I'm always ready to meet my Lord," she had said.

Although Mr. Barry received word two days after the attack that people had been successfully recovered from his wife's floor, the hope that she was among them is now gone.

Born Diane Yacco in Pompton Lakes, N.J., she attended Pompton Lakes High School, and later spent some time in business school. She left school once she met Barry. They married in 1964 and their first son, Brian, was born a year later. They moved to Eltingville, living there for about five years, and became parents to Maureen and Kevin.

The family later moved to South Beach.

Mrs. Barry was first a scrupulous homemaker and loving mother, but she was also a devout Catholic, so she began working as secretary for the school of religion and as instructor for the first-grade religious education program at Holy Rosary. She was to begin her 28th year the weekend after the terrorist attack. She was later employed as a secretary for the Naval Resale and Supply Division, and an administrative assistant at the former Alexander & Alexander Insurance Corp., Manhattan.

Mrs. Barry was active in her community, battling for quality-of-life issues in her building complex and working for the poor, but she also helped provide spiritual strength to the prisoners in Ossining, N.Y.

She is fondly remembered by Sister Catherine Shanahan, director of the Religious Education Program at Holy Rosary.

"She was an asset to the whole parish," said Sister Catherine. "She had a big interest in reaching out to everyone, not just the people in the parish. I find it hard to even think about the fact that she's not around here anymore." In addition to her husband, Edmund, her sons, Brian and Kevin, and her daughter Maureen, Mrs. Barry is survived by her father Louis; four brothers, John, Michael, Louis and Mark; three sisters, Nancy Beck, Gina Marie Van Quest and Susan Hogan, and three grandchildren.

The memorial service will be Monday at 7:30 p.m. in Holy Rosary Church.