2 thoughts on “Front Page”

I think I just lost a rather lengthy post. I am acquainted with many of the facts and findings you cite. I will try to summarize briefly the remarks that I lost. I am a 68-year-old retired general surgeon currently working part time as a medical researcher. I am autogynephilic and divorced after35 years of marriage. I believe my condition has many causes: toxic exposure to DES, DDT, and lead in utero, cross-dressing as a teen associated with arousal and masturbation, which I stopped after two years and did not resume in earnest until the death of my mother in 2002 and a distancing from me by my wife related to financial difficulties related neurological disabilities due to a mid-brain bleed due a tiny AV malformation. I developed acute hydrocephalus requiring emergency placement of a ventriculo-peritoneal shunt, leading to chronic drowsiness and decreased executive function and closure of my surgical practice I also have sleep apnea, testosterone, and estrogen deficiency associated with osteoporosis which requires estrogen but cannot be treated with testosterone because it makes the sleep apnea worse, causes cystic acne, and makes my BPH worse. I believe some of these conditions may have been related to hormone disruptor exposure in utero. In 2002 I developed incessant OCD-like urges to cross-dress which were accompanied with arousal and often masturbation. I eventually found that St. John’s Wort, Vyvanse, and Luvox eliminated these urges entirely but proved toxic and had to be discontinued due development of the serotonin syndrome and a mild, transiently symptomatic stroke. Cross-dressing served as a substitute for Vyvanse, Luvox, and St. John’s Wort, that allowed me to work part time as a medical researcher. I still see my wife and children but do not cross-dress in their presence nor do I cross-dress publically. I recognize its repugnance to the general population, to heterosexual women, and especially to wives and children. I did contemplate suicide but was persuaded to believe that a live cross-dresser, even an autogynephilic one, is better than a dead one–although I see from your postings that you and others may disagree with that. Using self-gratifying substances and carrying out self-gratifying behaviors are not always heinous addictions that necessarily injure the lives of self and others. Narcotic use even associated with tolerance and high doses can be lifesaving in persons with severe chronic pain. Amphetamine use can save the lives of some individuals with severe ADD. SRS can be lifesaving for many homosexual transsexuals. Anti-depressants can be lifesaving for persons with otherwise untreatable deficiencies of dopamine, serotonin, and/or norepinephrine. I agree that autogynephilic males will always be males with male brains despite hormones and SRS. I have noted as you have that because many transition late in life, many have a repugnant appearance that is difficult to accept both by the affected individual and those around him. Their behavior is often narcissistic and highly dysfunctional. However, I would also argue that no matter how these individuals got this way, their condition is not easily or possibly impossible to reverse. Some degree of tolerance/acceptance of their behavior and varying and individualized degrees of treatment, I think, are better for them, their families, and society than execution, suicide, corporal punishment, or imprisonment unless they are truly guilty of felonies. The same I believe is especially true for homosexual transsexuals whose gender identity has been in some cases brutally suppressed for years and find peace in late transition. I also believe that unnuanced vitriol toward dysfunctional even narcissistic individuals is not helpful. I found hardened heroin addicts with gunshot wounds difficult to treat as a surgeon. But they, too, needed to be treated as fellow human beings even though some needed 24-hour police attendants and physical restraints. Some now believe–in Canada– that what they need is carefully supervised heroin administration with strict requirements for treatment including having a job. What autogynephilic MTFs “should” do and what they can do may be different. What we “ought” to expect needs to coincide with attitudes that are both understanding and reasonable.

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The terms homosexual, bisexual and pseudo-bisexual are often misunderstood and misused. So here’s an explanation with particular relevance to transsexualism.HomosexualIn the general vernacular, this is... Read more →