The Best Day of Your Life & Other Lies

I don’t really know what brings people to Balancing Home. Some of you might just be in it for the free printables (I don’t blame you), some of you might be looking for craft or decorating inspiration, some of you might be looking for a connection and some of you might have found one. The odd thing about a blog post is you put it out there for all to see and everyone or no one can be reading it. If you are a printable and craft kind of reader you might want to stop by later, because it is about to get personal up in her (translation: here).

I was rocking Eleanor to sleep the other night. I was in the mom moment. You mothers probably know what I am talking about. That moment where you are snuggling and they smell so good and they are so soft and you think, oh-my-god-I-want-to-remember-this-moment-forever. That moment where panic takes over you because time is passing too quickly and you need time to hold still so you can take it all in. I was having one of those moments. As I was having “that” moment I realized how cliche it sounded. Thus, this blog post was born.

There are so many mom cliches. We head into motherhood with all sorts of visions of what being a mom is and what kind of mom we will be. We have our own mothers as models, maybe a few friends who have gone before us and then there is T.V. The problem is: our moms didn’t tell us the truth about being mom (Hey kid you drive me crazy I want my single life back) and our friends are too afraid to admit it and T.V. …well, it is T.V. So here are a few truths about being mom.

#1 The day your child is born is not the greatest day of you life. I’m sorry, it just isn’t. If a magic fairy came and told you that you could live one day in your life over this is not the day you would pick. Did something amazing come from that day. Hell yes! Was it the best day of my life? Hell no. The scariest, yes. The most exhausting, yes. Emotionally, mentally, physically E.X.H.A.U.S.T.I.N.G. day ever! You do not know tired until you have grown a human being, birthed it and then tried to take care of it. People will tell you how tiring it is, but you just don’t get it ’til you are in it. My guess is that those who have gone before you don’t even truly get it. I think our brains block a lot of it out and it all becomes a foggy memory. We knew we were tired, but we don’t truly remember what that exhaustion feels like.

#2 You cannot live the same life, but with a baby along for the ride. Yup, I’m guilty of this. I pictured my life, but with a baby. Target, shopping, showers, phone conversations. Yup, I pictured my life the same, just now there was a baby in the cart. Doesn’t work like that ladies. Suddenly it is baby first. Shower? What shower? Suddenly your life is dictated by nap schedules and feedings, diaper changes, and moods. What use to take ten minutes now takes thirty. Life isn’t the same. It is completely different. In all honesty I mourned for my old life. I mean I love my children. I love them in a way I never knew I could love. That doesn’t change how overnight life as I knew it vanished. The good news is this new life grows on you and you cannot imagine it any other way. What do people without kids do with their time? Hmm…

#3 There is no supermom. Okay, there are days where I feel like I am supermom. I remember my first outing as a mother of two when I had to go to the bathroom and both kids needed their diapers changed and it was just me flying solo. I managed to pull it off and damn it I felt like supermom. Seriously people, I was really proud. Like pin a medal on my letter jacket proud. I juggle a lot, I do a lot, but I never have it all together. The good news is, no mom does. If she says she does, its a lie! Don’t believe it. Why do I feel the need to put the kabosh on supermom? Unrealistic expectations only lead to feelings of inadequacy. I think there is enough out there telling us we are inadequate. No need to add to the list.

#4 You will have a meltdown and that is okay. You are responsible for bringing up another human being, it is inevitable. My first meltdown (and probably worse) happened after coming home from the hospital. Quinn would not stop crying, I hadn’t slept in a week (that probably isn’t even an exaggeration), I had been through labor and a c-section and now hours upon hours of crying from Quinn. I literally couldn’t cope. I freaked out. Yelled something about not wanting to be a mom and giving up (as if that was a choice). I just pictured the rest of my life like this. I found ear plugs and slept on the couch. The husband stayed up with the baby and I got three precious hours of sleep. That was enough to make me sane (thank god!). Were my feelings normal? I don’t know. What is normal anyways? All I know is we feel what we feel and we can’t beat ourselves up over it.

There is so much more about being a mom that I could talk about. Maybe that will have to wait for another post. The good news is this truly is the best job in the world. That is one cliche you can believe in. Like anything worth having it takes a lot of hard work. It has its ups and its downs, but you can be sure that nothing will bring you more joy in your life.

Don’t miss out!

What a great post… I appreciate this post so much. There are so many times I don’t feel like a “mom” and wonder why I can’t get things done. hello!! 🙂 I have a huge job. It’s so nice to have someone put all that in words and with some perspective. Thanks for sharing!

I love this post, Megan. Your honesty is really refreshing. I don’t have kids yet but I am totally guilty of the “I will have the same life, just with a baby” feelings. I totally needed to hear this, and I hope you continue to post more personal stuff like this about being a mom & running a household–I love reading about it! THANK YOU! 🙂

Thanks Amy! I feel like my life is so boring I cannot imagine anyone wanting to read about it! I guess at the end of the day we like connecting to what is real. Thanks for reading and thanks for the comment. I opened your New Year’s resolutions post like 5 times and something happened so I still haven’t gotten to read it! On the to do list for sure. I have all my resolutions I just need to put together the post 🙂

Laurenox

Megan, I have to laugh at this because I honestly couldn’t agree more! I felt the exact same way and I’m only with one little one. Thanks for sharing 🙂

Well I personally found my first to be life altering and my second to just fit right in like she had always been there. Seriously, I worried about how my first would do and jealousy and making them both feel loved and how would I do it all and it turned out to be a pretty smooth transition. So smooth it makes trying right away for number 3 sound like a good idea. If it wasn’t for all this baby weight, but that is whole other thing! Thanks for the comment 🙂

Kim

Amen!! I needed to hear/read that! After the 3rd hospital stay for my 2 year old son in 3 months, putting our dog to sleep during that hospital stay, and trying to keep my 8 year old daughter from puking all over the living room rug the day we came home from said hospital stay, I found myself extremely jealous of my friends on facebook who were talking about going to a movie! Seriously – a movie? And then they had an entire night without kids. None. One was complaining of only getting 6 hours of sleep the night before – 6?! At that point I’d have given my kidney for 6 hours of sleep! And all of this a mere 2 days before Christmas with no wrapping accomplished yet. Commence meltdown. Then guilt for meltdown. Alas, we made it, had an amazing Christmas with our 2 children, and came out on the other side smiling – a little! Being a mom is a rollercoaster of emotions, that’s for sure. Thank you for clarifying!!!

Whew girl! You had a rough go of it. I remember pushing my son on the swing at the park one day and he was laughing so hard and was just pure joy. I remember thinking I could live on this joy for like a year. It is moments like that that keep you going through all the rough stuff. Nothing beats it!

Lindsay McCabe

Love this post. Sometimes it’s just nice to hear that you’re not alone and it’s ok if you aren’t always having fun in mommyhood. I blogged with a friend for a year and we found that posts like these, where we got “real”, got the greatest response. Being a mom is a HARD, neverending, tedious job. I wouldn’t trade it for anything, but a reminder that I don’t have to be loving every minute (especially on the worst days) is refreshing. Thanks for posting!

Thanks for the comment! I had this post sitting as a draft for like a week because I didn’t know if anyone would want to read it. I even read it to the hubs and asked his opinion (which I NEVER do). Finally I just hit post and hoped it would connect with someone. It is really nice to hear such positive feedback when you take a risk 🙂

Karin N

Hi Megan, this is my first time to your site, I read your comments on “growing your blog” and liked what you had to say so I thought I would check you out. I just began blogging on January 1st. http://www.yankeedoodledesigns.blogspot.com anyway, came looking for home/design and found the most wonderful post about Motherhood. LOVE your honesty, motherhood is a lot of things not all of them wonderful and it’s so refreshing to hear someone speak honestly about it. I am the mother of 2, one grown and one tween and what I always tell my friends with little ones is it never gets easier it just gets different. The challenges are not the crying and diapers and all the crap you have to carry every time you leave the house its the teenage attitudes and the struggle with yourself to learn to let them go a little at a time so that they can become the adults that we have worked so hard to make them into. Anyway a little long winded but again Thanks for your honesty and I’ll be back soon.

How lucky for me you stumbled on us and even more lucky you took the time to make a comment. Thanks! I think that is so true about things not getting easier, just getting different. I am going to have such a hard time letting my babies go!

Erin Souder

This post sounds like you were reading my mind. Every single thing you said. I never realized it before, but when you say that you had imagined everything would be the same after the baby was born, except there would be 3 of you….I totally know now that this was how I felt too. This is my first time to your blog…I saw a comment you left on one of the blogs doing the “how to grow your blog” series, and wanted to come check you out. I can’t wait to look through your blog more…but I wanted to thank you for this great post. It really enlightened me to things I’ve felt about motherhood but hadn’t put into words. (Although, I could say that the day my 1st baby was born was one of the best days of my life, but it might be because I never thought I wanted kids until I met my husband at age 29, so I never imagined the feelings I would have when I saw him for the first time…that’s what made it such an amazing day. I felt like I had woken up and saw the world in a completely new way.) Sorry this has gotten so long…motherhood has made me a total mush-bag. Thanks again.

What a lovely comment. Connecting with awesome women like you is one of the things I love about blogging. I am a total mush-bag too! Totally and completely. Kids will do that to you 🙂

Monique

I loved this post! I’ve never heard the “mom moment” summarized so well and I relate to it so much! It made me feel normal! I kind of thought I was the only one who had that feeling of panic. I kind of thought others knew how to hold onto those moments. Thank you!

Katie

I so needed to read this today… I can’t agree more especially with number 1! Not the best day if my life… I had similar scenario like you–hours of labor that ultimately led to scary c-section.

Welcome

Megan is a UW-Madison graduate with a degree in in Elementary Education and English. She met her husband in art class her sophomore year of college. Together they create amazing printables to simplify, organize and beautify your life. This mom of four has plenty to share when it comes to home, parenting and organizing.

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I started this blog as an outlet and a way to connect and find a bigger purpose. Becoming a mother gave me permission to explore my passions, to create and to build the life I deserve. Read More…