Quest for cheap razor blades ends in disappointment

A team of hirsute scientists and adventurers has returned from an unsuccessful six-month trek of the British Isles, jointly sponsored by the Disney and the Mormons, looking for affordable razor blades for men as part of a world-wide anti-poverty campaign.

‘Despite months of planning and research, we failed to locate any blades below £12.99 apart from the common own-branded cartridge sets’ said team leader Dr Crispin McDowell. ‘We got frustratingly close to the elusive Gillette Mach3 in one location but at over £2 a packet we had to admit defeat and leave it where it was.’

The team experienced many life threatening situations, once being assaulted by a rabid pensioner after leaving its team of huskies in a disabled parking bay at Tesco. Dr McDowell is currently in talks with National Geographic to fund an all-female team in a quest for inexpensive pads and tampons.