Here we have the shock finding that a fair few people are not intimately acquainted with a fairly niche kitchen appliance. Hardly the most headline-worthy of findings, one would assume, yet the Daily Mail managed to print almost 800 words of PR copy on the subject. But PR copy from whom?

The study was conducted by Kenwood to launch the fourth year of their annual competition, Kenwood Disaster Chef, which offers 10 people the chance to be tutored in the kitchen by some of Britain’s top chefs including Raymond Blanc OBE.

Kenwood, of course, are manufacturers of kitchen appliances, so they know only too well what a spiralizer is.

Commenting on the findings, Neal Jones from Kenwood said: ‘The study suggests that when it comes to the kitchen, 2.9 million of us admit to being complete disasters – which amounts to a lot of dissatisfied diners.

‘Kenwood Disaster Chef, now in its fourth year, aims to help build culinary confidence and show that with the right equipment and training even the nation’s worst chefs can feel more at ease in the kitchen.’

Oxford Dictionaries have been having some bants with their new website update, adding more than 1,000 awesomesauce new words and phrases. It’s NBD though and if this all annoys you then maybe you’re just hangry.

Understand all that? ‘Bants’, ‘awesomesauce’, ‘NBD’ and ‘hangry’ are just a handful of the new entries that reflect current trends in the English language. Many of the nouns, verbs and adjectives will be familiar to the younger generations bringing them in, but there are still a number of unexpected additions that most people will need explaining.

How much of this represents the natural changing of language, and how much of it is an overt attempt to grab headlines? The question could be answered by looking at how Oxford Dictionaries announce the new intake of 1,000 words in their official press release, which all of these media outlets picked up on:

It’s quite clear that of the 1,000 words admitted to the dictionary, it’s the ones with the most faddy usage that are prioritised in the press release – knowing that it’s these words that will generate the media headlines and gain the column inches the PR team desires.

Fiona McPherson, senior editor of Oxford Dictionaries, said the addition of multiple slang words did not represent a dumbing down of English.

She said: “There’s always been new slang words. I just think we are more aware of them because of the ways in which we consume and live our lives now.

“We are bombarded with more and more avenues where those sort of words are used and we just think that there are more of them. I don’t necessarily think that’s the case.”

What’s remarkable is that this story is exactly the same, year on year, every time new words and slang words are added to the dictionary. And every single year, the media run the story, complete with faux-outrage at the dumbing down of language.

Number of parents moving to their desired school catchment area is increasing, according to Santander research

The extent to which parents are resorting to to live within their desired school catchment area has been revealed in new research from Santander Mortgages as competition for places at the UK’s best schools continues to increase.

The bank surveyed just over 4,500 people to find families are prepared to spend over £32,000 to be near their most sought after school – significantly more than the average full-time UK salary of £27,195.

Having kids is hugely expensive (I’m told), and buying a house is hugely expensive (I know) – so it stands to reason that buying a house as a parent comes with particularly expensive demands. Still, an extra £32,000 on average? That’s no small amount. What civic-minded institution can we thank for paying for this ‘research’ to appear in the media?

The study by lender Santander says a quarter were forced to downsize to a less attractive home while 31 per cent moved to an area they did not like.

The angle is clear: convince parents that they ought to be aiming high to keep up with the Jones’, and then be the ones to hold their hand when they over-stretch on the mortgage. Fortunately, that’s the kind of dependable and risk-free system sound economic models are based on, with no history of ever having gone wrong in the past…

Santander’s Miguel Sard said: “Being within a certain school catchment area can often come at a cost.

It’s important that parents don’t stretch themselves beyond their means.”

Wise words, Mr Sard, but we’d be more inclined to take them at face value in something other than a glorified advert for your services.

Hacking and data theft is a genuine fear right now, as married Sony executive sending explicit photos of himself via iCloud to the woman he met on Ashley Madison will tell you. That guy is really not having a good year. Still, who’d have thought that simply walking through a tourist hotspot could be the deathknell to your digital privacy? Well…

Golden Gate Park in San Francisco, Ocean Park in Hong Kong and Las Vegas’s strip are the next three mostly likely places for phones to be hacked, according to research by mobile threat defense company Skycure.

While I’m sure a mobile threat defense company is probably well placed to explain the threats your mobile faces, there’s more than a slight whiff of conflict of interest here – after all, those mobile defense software packages don’t sell themselves, right?

That said, looking below the fold it looks like plenty of Mail Online readers were less than convinced:

seableu: Seems like a promotional ad for Skycure. Regardless, the risk of hackers getting access to personal information seems higher than ever.

ghtblsk: It’s just scaremongering to make you buy yet another basically unnecessary app. Turn your wifi off other than when you’re using it; you’ll save battery and avoid any of these risks.

British people want to head off to the cold weather for their next big adventure, Which is somewhat convenient, given that the company behind this ‘research’ is a cold, refreshing lager:

Research from Coors Light has found that British people are an adventurous lot when it comes to holidays, with those from London the most intrepid of them all.

Coors Light, who of course are currently marketing themselves with that rubbish advert featuring Jean-Claude Van Damme being cold up a mountain, want you to equate low temperature with high fun. Presumably to avoid you contemplating the taste of their beer for too long.

Ali Pickering, Coors Light Brand Director, comments: ‘It’s really inspiring to see that British people are so adventurous and want to make the most out of life – whether it’s trying out a new sport or activity at home, planning an action packed holiday or dreaming of a trip to see the Northern lights.

‘We’re excited to be able to offer Coors Light drinkers the chance to win an amazing subzero adventure to tick off their bucket list this year.’

Apparently middle age comes with a renewed vigour to look after one’s health and increased concern for mortality. Or so says insurance provider RIAS:

A study carried out by insurance provider RIAS found that the UK’s over-50s are splashing out £1.5billion a year on keeping fit, spending £130million each month on gym memberships and fitness equipment as well as a wardrobe full of brand-new workout wear.

Here’s the RIAS MD to praise the health-conscious 50-year-olds out there:

Peter Corfield, Managing Director at RIAS, added: ‘The UK’s over 50s take their health and fitness seriously and looking after themselves is an important aspect of their life.

‘With the UK facing an ever increasing ageing population, today’s over 50s are tackling this head on by staying physically fit. And no matter how it’s done, people will reap the rewards of a better quality of life.’

And, of course, while you’re considering all of the ways in which you’re embracing your new lease of life at the age of 50, don’t forget that all-important insurance – for when things inevitably go wrong – right, Peter?

So life really does begin at 50, then? Well, perhaps – or perhaps it’s more the case that people don’t become commercially written-off at the age of 50 any more, as businesses seek the disposable income of the end of the baby boomer generation. Specifically, in this case, a car manufacturer:

The poll was commissioned by Vauxhall Motors to launch the new Viva, the first version of which rolled off the production line over 50 years ago.

Not the most tenuous link we’ve seen exploited for PR purposes, but impressive nonetheless. Though I’m not sure I’m convinced by the marketing slogan they came up with:

Vauxhall’s Denis Chick said, “There is a general belief that being impulsive is for the young. “But our research shows a growing trend for those in their fifties, sixties and beyond becoming more adventurous than they were in their twenties.

“We’re seeing people adopt what we’re calling a This Gran Can attitude in later life, challenging the stereotypes of the older generation and having a lot more freedom than those who were this age in the Fifties and Sixties.”

It seems that the stereotype Americans hold of the British is true, and that we’re a nation of appalling oral hygiene. With such low standards, it’s a wonder any of us have teeth at all. What would be ideal would be for a company to come along to sell us a solution to our dental dilemma and tell us precisely how we should appreciate our smiles…

Experts have warned the survey, commissioned by GSK as part of its Love Your Mouth campaign, implies thousands of people could be at risk of dental health problems.

Ah, there it is – GlaxoSmithKline, the makers of Aquafresh, Sensodyne and other toothcare products.

If that weren’t all, there are some other interesting stats in the story:

Almost one in five people surveyed said they just brush their teeth with water, without toothpaste, while 14 per cent brush their teeth using a finger.

Really? 20% of people only use water to brush their teeth? And 14% don’t even use a toothbrush? Can that even be true? Well… no, almost certainly not – at least, not when viewed in the context of what’s actually being said here. Let’s take a look at an earlier claim:

Forty-five per cent of the 10,000 people taking part in the study say they have gone to bed without brushing their teeth.

It’s quite clear here that this statistic covers people who admit to having gone to bed, in the past, without brushing their teeth – not every time, but at least once, or perhaps at least once in the last few months. So with that in mind, those 20% and 14% figures cover people who have brushed without toothpaste or even a brush at least once. Which is to say, that time you unexpectedly stayed overnight with someone, or that time you went to a hotel and forgot to take your toothbrush – you’re in that 14%. Does it mean you don’t love your smile? Of course not. Does it make it much easier for GSK’s PR team to create headline-grabbing claims? Absolutely.

Rebecca Willey, of the Skipton Building Society, said: ‘After years of working, particularly if you have done a long term with the same company, most would expect a nice gift, or something special to wave them off into their retirement.

‘But in reality, it seems that the gift you receive is nothing compared to the time and effort you have put into working over the years…

‘At Skipton, we believe everyone should be able to look forward to retirement. Leaving work behind after so many years can be an exciting and daunting experience.’

But why would they want us to contemplate this harsh vision of the future? Might it perhaps have something to do with their retirement planning services?

Not everyone in the country believes they should be responsible for jointly funding the healthcare of the nation – and at a time where the government increasingly looks to hand over parts of the NHS to private healthcare firms, articles like this can form a part of the justification for privatisation. Not only do stories like this serve as ‘proof’ of the current feeling of the public, but they also help to set the agenda and lead public opinion… which is why the source of this story is, as ever, absolutely key:

But the study, carried out by the Benenden National Health Report 2015, revealed how people were willing to con medical officials so they could have treatment paid for by the public purse.

Benenden are a private health firm, which makes their ‘discovery’ that people prefer to pay directly for health services they themselves need far from surprising. In that context, calling their PR survey the ‘National Health Report’ seems incredibly dicey – it’s not hard to see how some unsuspecting readers might assume this has something to do with the NHS, rather than with a private healthcare firm.

The obligatory spokesperson quote is just as interesting:

Medical Director of Benenden, Dr John Giles, said: ‘I suspect most people view diseases caused by excessive drinking and smoking as being self-inflicted and therefore potentially avoidable.

‘They probably feel that they should not have to pay the price for the consequences of the poor choices of others.

‘It comes as no surprise that the public has a staggering and destructive ignorance regarding the cost of treatments on the NHS.

‘As a nation we have lost touch with the role we should play in our own health and wellbeing, expecting the NHS to pick up the pieces.

‘If the public was more aware of the cost of appointments, treatments, operations and prescriptions, and really took responsibility for their own health, using the NHS only when absolutely necessary, the crisis the service finds itself in today would be significantly lessened.’

It’s uncontroversial to suggest that we ought to take care of ourselves and take responsibility for our own health. However, what Benenden are doing with this story and with this quote is to shift responsibility for the wellbeing of the NHS away from the politicians who continue to freeze funding, and onto the patients – and, specifically, onto certain groups of patients. This kind of thinking is the wedge that opens the door for separating oneself from these ‘problematic patient groups’, and into privatised medicine.

As far as this blogger can see, this is not a story about a report on the health of the NHS and the cost of treatments, but a cynical piece of privitisation propaganda PR. This is where the effect of Bad PR can be at its worst, influencing public perception and potential policy decisions.