Self-Initiated Family Therapy Through Storytelling

When Building Feels Like Breaking – Part 1

Part 1 of a possibly never-ending series about building your own home

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If you have ever needed a way to boost your currently minimal self-confidence beyond measurable proportions…build a house. Yes, a whole house from paper sketches, to nails and concrete, to paint swatches, to roofing shingles and sod. Can you picture it now, the shiny windows sparkling in the sun, the gleaming hard-wood floors, the smell of soaps sitting around your soaker tub…and that sense of accomplishment and pride beaming from your big smiley face! You did this! This is yours! Renew in yourself that enthusiasm and drive that has long been dormant… you can do anything! Yup, I hammered those nails, and I dug that hole, picked out that paint colour, cut that trim and sealed that grout. Move over Bob Villa!

Finally, after 3 months of digging, rain and the pond that never quits…we see something other than muddy water and dirt.

However, I warn you…be prepared to completely shatter the afore-mentioned waning self-confidence beyond recognition first. Doubt. Fear. Pain. Exhaustion. Anger. Frustration. More Doubt…continue this cycle for approximately 12 months…Anxiety. Also, it would be neglectful of me not to mention how this process will hold a very truthful mirror to all of your personal and professional relationships, with reflections you will now not be able to avoid seeing. Oh, and one more thing – you may develop trust issues. Not saying it is going to happen, but I am saying it is likely.

This probably no longer sounds like a worthwhile venture. I’m sure you are thinking..”You know what, I’m quite happy being moderately satisfied with my life, the very few risks I’ve taken, the many risks I have avoided, and my sense of mediocrity. Let’s all save ourselves the trouble, the pain, the heart ache, the STRESS, and keep everything as it is”.

Well, maybe that would be the safer route. We decided to build the house. Along the way, we are building ourselves. We are building ourselves and our family, into bigger, better, and happier versions of our former selves. But it certainly feels more like breaking sometimes. This series of stories will chronicle the trials and rewards of Building a Home, and how it has helped me to build myself back up. I hope it will also add a little humour and laughter to your day, as you follow our “If our Dad’s don’t know we’ll find directions on You-Tube” style of house-building.