Top Ten Ways to Know Your Midlife Crisis Is Over

From: Richard Francis

Dear Tom and Ray,

As I approach 55 (years, not mph), I find myself pondering the changes I observe in myself and the world around me. In the interests of helping my fellow man (the gender reference is deliberate), I offer the following:

Top Ten Ways to Know Your Mid-Life Crisis is Over

10. At the car dealer's showroom, you walk right past the Viper and head straight for the Chrysler Town and Country.

9. You're more interested in ease of entry and egress than horsepower.

8. You see Jennifer Lopez at the Oscars and find yourself thinking, "Good heavens, girl, go home and put on some clothes! What's your mother gonna think?"

7. You have given up on "studly" and are willing to settle for "avuncular."

6. When a pretty girl smiles at you, you assume it's because you remind her of her father.

5. Or her grandfather.

4. You walk past Victoria's Secret at the mall and think, "Gee those look really uncomfortable."