HCwDB Smells Like Poo – 2012 ButtNugget o' the Year

I’m offering up the cascading cornapoopia dribbling down the hirsute cursed legs of the foul beast we shall relegate to the anals of history as Twenty-Aught-Twelve. We wander zombie-like in this Land of the Lost, and these Sleeze-Stacks are the ones who made the loudest “sputta-chutt-chutt” machine-gun staccato whilst escaping the event horizon of the brown-eyed swirl of the societal balloon knot we call DoucheLand:

While we are compelled to gawk at the spectacle that is Captain Chesty McRibMeat and daydream about sailing ’round her Golden Globes (to quote Jacques Douchetou, “Those cans are so round she lactates marbles”), alas this runny-up goes to The Tetanus. Because he puts the “ANUS” it “Tetanus”.

We’re on, you pick a straight up game. I kind of raped you with a surprise win last week. Speaking of rape I’d like to bang those blondes today and play some Incubus for the dead kids in Newtown, Sweet fuck can’t we profile these people Paget Brewster-style to stop this shit.

“Lactates marbles.” I forgot about that, and am forced to laugh at my own joke like it was someone else’s, while still knowing it was mine. Gawd, I’m such a pathetic dick.

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Crotchos.

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I don’t need to see that again. I didn’t need to see it in the first place. No one needs to see that…ever. And yet there are eight, I count EIGHT, people with cameras out in the frontal shot (not including whoever took the axial photos) documenting this diarrhetic hemorrhage fountain of sac slapping shame “display his wares” like some sort of twisted freak who finds a half-decapitated mouse in the bathroom trap and dangles it in front of their unsuspecting mother and proudly proclaims “look what I caught, Ma!”

Crotchos,the end of the world is Friday,I heard,and you’re the first to go.

8:28 am December, 18Ol' Dirty Douchebag said...

Crotchos…groin of fate.

12:43 am December, 19Little Willie said...

Gay male stripper hangs out in the mens room between gigs and has a fetish for wiping other male asses, giving head and taking it up the backside.Most of the time smelly feces like him get flushed down the toilet or fester on the bus terminal restroom floor after a clogged toilet overflow.