This is probably a stupid question, but I'm still getting over New Year's Eve. When you say "treelike" . . . Yes?

Are we talking Leylandii or Victoria plum? Should I be imagining green branches or juicy fruit? Swollen muscles. The "Austrian Oak" got his nickname in the 1970s when he was a bodybuilder. It was a reference to his physique, rather than acorns.

Are you sure he's not made of wood? I've seen his movies. Who hasn't? No video collection would be complete without Terminators 1, 2 and 3, Predator, True Lies, Batman and Robin, Total Recall, Last Action Hero . . .

Don't forget Pee Wee Herman's Big Adventure. I'll never forget the despair on Arnie's face when he realised his bicycle had been stolen. He wasn't in Pee Wee Herman's Big Adventure. That was Pee Wee Herman.

I suppose the name should have been a giveaway. So where has Arnie been in the last few years? Until today he's been governor of California.

I thought that was Jerry Brown. It was him back in the 70s and 80s, and it is again. But from 2003 it was Arnie, AKA the Governator.

A Republican, of course? One might almost think a lifetime spent blowing away villains on screen encourages a hardline approach to problem-solving. Careful, or Clint will come round and shoot a hole in you. Schwarzenegger gave his heart to the Republicans long before he got into films. His heroes included Richard Nixon and George W Bush, who dubbed him Conan the Republican.

That man's had more nicknames than hot dinners. Is one of them Saviour of California? Probably not. Having promised to put the state's finances in order, he left it with a $28bn budget deficit.

What now? Back to movie-making? Like a true politician, he's refusing to rule anything out. There is "a long list of things" he can do, "but nothing I can concentrate on until I am literally, totally out of office".