Outrage As Dublin Footballers Don’t Have Threesome

The Dublin footballers have today expressed their sheer disgust at the lack of threesomes last night after their win over Cork in Croke Park.

Dublin won the game 1-16 to 0-14 to secure their place in the All Ireland semi final. They were expecting a night of fast food and fast women after their triumph, but unfortunately no one in the capital was interested in a GAA related threesome.

After the recent events involving high profile rugby stars participating in explicit sexual acts, the Dublin Senior Footballers were convinced that they would be able to find at least one women who would be up for a naughty threesome and a saucy sex tape.

One annoyumus member of the panel commented exclusively to The Potato saying:

It’s a disgrace, the women in Dublin need to cop on show the hard-working decent footballers the same level of respect as those posh rugger lads. No one was up for a threesome, we even went to Eddie Rockets and couldn’t even convince someone from KPMG to come back to the hotel room. It’s shocking like, we work just as hard, if not harder than the rugby lads and they get all the glory.

What made the situation worse was the fact that recently, the Dublin Senior Hurlers got to have a gang bang in the men’s toilets at a comedy gig in a very famous Dublin Bar – and they had only drawn with Kilkenny.

Even though Dublin won yesterday and were All Ireland champions, it appears they do not hold the same level of admiration or sexual desire in Ireland as those who play Rugby. This may be a frustration for the senior team, but it also poses a threat to the popularity of the game at a grass roots level and could impact on the numbers of young people taking up the game.

Certain reports suggest that there has been an increase in the amount of young people taking up rugby, not because of the success of the Irish teams in recent years, but because of filthy horny mothers taking their children to rugby clubs, hoping to get a piece of some private school ass.

The GAA may have to go back to the drawing board to increase the popularity of the game nationwide, but while they are doing that, Dublin will have to prepare for the Semi finals, regardless of the threesome situation.