The Front Line for the Awesomeness Offensive

Today Was the Normandy Invasion of my War Against Fat People

MSN: Daniel Callahan, a senior research scholar and president emeritus of The Hastings Center, put out a new paper this week calling for a renewed emphasis on social pressure against heavy people — what some may call fat-shaming — including public posters that would pose questions…

Callahan, a former smoker, argued that public shunning of those who lit up led to plunging rates of cigarette use. People were asked to smoke outside and told directly or indirectly that their “nasty” habit was socially unacceptable.

“You are about to embark upon a great crusade, toward which we have striven these many months.” Today is D-Day. Today marks the first serious progress in my war against fat people. And this is exactly what I was trying to tell you before. Now DOCTORS are agreeing with me. There is a reason people find fat people unattractive. It’s evolution. We are naturally predisposed to find fats unattractive in order to dissuade procreation with them. This eventually weeds the fats out of the gene pool, making the gene pool stronger and thus helping the human race continue on healthily and steadily. What better way to discourage procreation with them then to actually speak out publicly and say “look, you’re a nice girl, but you’re actually more bovine than human.”

And also, perhaps more immediately important, fat people’s health insurance costs more. If Obama is going to make me pay for other people’s healthcare, they had better damn well be healthy. Be fat on your own dollar. Until Obamacare is dismantled, my war against the fats continues.