This is the $13 Star Wars Lightsaber Thumb Wrestling Kit. It comes with two thumb-mounted lightsabers and a book with a bunch of different arenas to do battle in. Unfortunately, I have giant's hands so there's no way my thumbs would fit through those holes. Penis, yes, which is why I just superglued Mace Windu's lightsaber to it. "That's a little plastic pirate cutlass." Yes it is. I probably should have waited until after I'd poked it through the thumb hole to glue the lightsaber on though, because now it won't fit all the way. You know what? Forget thumb wrestling, give me a quarter and I'll let you play Whac-A-Mole. "For prize tickets?" Of course for prize tickets!

Hit the jump for a couple more shots.

Thanks to Abby and TooDrunkToSleep (I have never had that problem), who thumb wrestle with razor blades glued to their thumbnails because they don't f*** around.