What Lies Beneath

E! Online’s big story earlier this week was the alleged “escape route” of Michael Jackson’s coffin from the Staples Center: an “underground tunnel that was used to clandestinely move the body from the venue. Boy, what would E! Online pay for this exclusive photo.

The Staples Center and the new Nokia Theatre L.A. Live, which exist on either side of Chick Hearn Blvd., are state-of-the-art venues. For instance, to accommodate the catering needs of Nokia, a tunnel was built beneath the street so it can use the Staples kitchen. Why build another one when the chefs of Staples can accommodate both buildings?

It’s really not that big of a secret, although E! Online has a right to embellish it. According to the Web site, M.J.’s body was loaded into a van at a loading dock and transported to refrigerated mortuary storage at an undisclosed location.

People leave Staples Center after the memorial service for Michael Jackson.July 7, 2009

(AP Photo)

|

By the way, no, the tunnel is nowhere near the kitchen – it’s just a maintenance tunnel connecting the basements. And why do we have this photo? Because Pollstar is filled with a bunch of dorks, and when we see cool, efficient maintenance tunnels, we photograph them like 40-year-old fat guys photograph the girls at Cosplay.