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Monday, January 31, 2011

Some how I lost the photo that Louis had uploaded on here... Oh well maybe another day...

So we have survived 28 days with the mama of the house being on bedrest:)

I have been here in the hospital for one week. I have to tell you that I am soooooo happy that I am here right now as the thunder is starting to roll through town. Weird, we are about to get a blizzard, but it is thundering at the moment. It is predicted that we could get any where between 8-20 inches of snow. CRAZY!!! That would be record breaking for OK. The last snowstorm of around 2 inches shut down schools for 2 days. It is predicted to not get above freezing until Saturday and with limited snowplows and such I would not at all be surprised if the city sort of shuts down till almost then. A lot of times it just takes until it melts for things to get back to normal. All of the schools are already canceled for tomorrow so we shall see what happens.

Greg brought the kids up here tonight for a couple of hours. It was such a treat to see them as I know that I may not see them until the weekend. I am really praying that they don't lose power at home... I know that I should be just fine up here at the hospital, but we will be having temps below zero. I pray that they will be safe, warm and protected at home. I am just so thankful that I am up here to be able to keep a close eye on Levi as often as needed.

For now they are doing 3 nonstress tests on him each day... he has been doing great on those. Then every MWF they are doing a biophysical profile on him.

Today we had the biophysical profile done and get this....

They estimated him to be weighing 4 lbs. 5 oz. +or - 10 oz. From what I have read, babies at around 31 weeks are usually just over 3 pounds. So most likely Levi is anywhere between 3lb. 11oz. and 4 lb. 15 oz. I am just so happy that he is still growing. That is a good sign that the placenta is still functioning fine at this point even though it isn't looking good. He looked good today and was doing everything he needed to do for them. The blood flow through the cord looked good as well as the fluid levels, all of which help to show that at this point the placenta is doing what it needs to do for now.

So for now.... the longest I will be here would be 6 weeks since they said they would deliver me at 37 weeks regardless. But most likely it will be earlier because of the placenta.

I know 6 weeks seems like a really long time. But for some crazy reason, to me it doesn't . It feels like a very small price to pay to help get Levi here safely. We are so blessed to have friends that have helped figure out a schedule for Greg to do all he needs to do for work, and to have some adults supervise the kids at home a few days a week or to go to friends houses. Another HUGE blessing has been the meals that our church family has provided for us. That has given Greg the time to take care of his work, the kids, and the house.

The kids have really done great considering we have done this for a month now. I am really proud of them and my amazing husband. I believe my husband is getting a whole new sense and appreciation for all that it takes to keep the family going on a daily basis on the homefront. He is doing a great job.

It has been sort of an emotional week... we will see if I have the energy to post about it... but thank God it has gotten so much better in the last few days.

I am sleeping soooooo much better here. And that feels amazing. I look so forward to this little pumpkin making his arrival sometime in the somewhat near future. It is really hard to wrap my mind around the fact that he really could be born anytime. I pray he gets a few more weeks to continue growing.

I have yet to even walk by the baby nursery... I have a hard time believing that we will have a little guy in there in the next 6 weeks. I know Levi is in the Lord's hands... My heart and brain truly at times can't fully comprehend that I am even pregnant... (I know that sounds nuts) I was sharing with a friend that came by to visit today, all about the whole process of Levi's embryo adoption. I am overcome with gratefulness to God that he allowed this precious little guy to survive the thaw and grow and thrive inside of me... What a miracle and precious gift.

Thanks for your continued prayers friends!

HE MAKETH THE BARREN WOMAN TO KEEP HOUSE, AND TO BE A JOYFUL MOTHER OF CHILDREN. PRAISE YE THE LORD! PSALM 113:9

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

As I type this the kids and Greg are all coming back up to the hospital to see me....

Yep, I had another little episode with some high bp at home yesterday morning. So we had to come directly in. Levi has looked great.... I am sooooo thankful for that. They are running another 24 hour protein check so I think that should be back soon. I may get to leave tonight or most likely if not tonight then tomorrow. We will see, but I did get a great nights sleep here last night. It was wonderful to sleep peacefully.

The kids, Papa and I had a really nice visit. I was able to put little pig tails in Hope's hair. Man, she looks precious with those little curly things on the top of her head.

The 4 older kids and I played a few rounds of Monopoly Deal. That is probably our favorite card game. It is sort of like Monopoly, but has lots of strategy and you can finish a game in 5-30 minutes. It is really fun. Caleb usually beats us all. He is one of the most competitive kids I know.

Anyways, back to being here...

They have me out on the recovery floor and I can hear lots of happy people gushing over babies in the hallways. It has me longing for that happy ending. (Of course I am always longing for that:) But is a little different after losing Samuel. The longing is different. It has me missing Samuel more and in a different way these last few days. I can not help but wonder what my 2 and a half year old baby boy would be doing if he were here now... ohhhhh my sweet little baby boy.

Then at the same time my heart will just burst love for this little boy in my belly. It is a weird but wonderful mix of emotions. I can not wait to, Lord willing tell Levi all about his older precious brother and what a precious gift that each of them is to our family. As much as I know Levi needs to stay put for a bit longer... I am just dying to set eyes on his precious face.

Oh Lord, Please Father protect this precious miracle that you have given to us for the last 30 weeks. Lord, His life is in your loving strong hands. Continue to knit him together, each and every last bit of his body. Lord, carry our family as we wait for him to be born. Give Greg and I wisdom and loving grace as we deal with our other kids and their questions and thoughts with all that is going on. Your will be done Father... make your will our own... Calm our anxious hearts.... may we rest more in you each day! To you alone be the glory!

Monday, January 24, 2011

I am so thankful that we have been able to keep him in there for an additional 3 weeks and hopefully, at least 3 more.

I am shocked that 3 weeks have passed since I have been put on bedrest... it really has gone quickly... except for the hours between 1:00 and 6:00am... I am having such a hard time sleeping... I should be well prepared for the lack of sleep that will come after he arrives, Lord willing.

My appointment with my OB went well today. Levi did just fine with the NST and the biophysical profile again. I called another high risk doctor for a 2nd opinion, but the receptionist said that they don't see people with out a referral... She said she would tell him my situation and then see if he would meet with me and then she said she would call me back. I didn't hear back from them today... I am hoping tomorrow. My doctor did set my mind somewhat at ease. And I know I have said it over and over again... I really do like him. He has great bedside manner.

Greg and I laughed today as we find it so amusing the care you get from different nurses. You would think that they would in general be compassionate people... but that doesn't always seem to be the case. I know and fully understand that I don't know the circumstances that each may face each day... but it is so amazing when you are the patient... how far a smile and a warm disposition can go in making you feel more at ease. Compared to when you may have someone who as Greg says, "Comes in with their MAD on."

It really does make me want to be more attentive to my disposition in general... I have always admired those who just seem to have a soft smile on their face all the time. I remember my Aunt Adrienne, who had 7 kids, telling me once that when she was cleaning she always tried to hum... it just made her feel happier while she was working... I may have to try that... but it might drive my boys crazy:)

Anyways, enough rambling for today...

Thanking God for another week with our Levi... praying for his continued safety and protection... so thankful that God has given him to us...

Friday, January 21, 2011

I have to first off to please excuse all the errors in my last posts and my coming posts. I am doing them all from an IPod so basically it is like I am texting the whole thing. It will auto fill words and also is really hard to edit things...so please bear with me.

Hello friends. Not too much is new unless you consider my eldest son and I are getting reedy to watch a "New to us movie". The Ultimate Gift...together:)

Greg has taken to sleeping in the extra bedroom the night before he preaches since I have started to snore while pregnant and he isn't sleeping as well:( It actually has given the kids a chance to have sleepovers with mama and papa. I miss my honey though:)

I got a call from our insurance company yesterday checking on me after being hospitalized. She was a nurse and asked me tons of questions. She also clearly stated that given all of my risk factors with various issues with this pregnancy...5 previous perfect pregnancies until losing Samuel full term, the Meds I am on... She basically said that she doesn't see any reason why they wouldn't cover a hospitalization at this point. I know it sounds crazy that is what I would prefer, but I want to make 100 percent sure G and I are doing everything we can for Levi. So I may seek a 2 nd opinion early next week if possible.

I wanted to post this awesome video of my godson jack. It is funny because the above video clip has gotten tons of hits on god tube. I have had a couple of people send me the clip ( recognizing the name of our awesome church, Salem, from our time there) asking if by chanceWe knew them??

Ah... Yeah... He is my godson.

It was kind of funny!

Well I wanted to share it with you all... I was personally amazed! I pray it blesses and encourages you today!!

Don't forget to pause the playlist on the side so that you can hear it:).

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Today was an interesting office visit with the high risk doctor ... To say the least. First off we stayed the night at our friend house right down themstreet from the hospital... And again tonight as I have anotherappointmemt tomorrow. We are so thankful that they let us stay:). They have been incredibly gracious!! And the kids have had a ball. We would have had our hands full on the roads for sure from our house as there was some ice under the snow and they don't do anything for the roads here. All the schools in the area are closed again tomorrow. I think we got maybe 2 inches of snow...

The high risk doctor said more of the exact same thing that my doctor said. "It all is fine...shouldn't be something that progresses quickly without being caught by the monitoring and tests. I know she truly is trying to help put my mind at ease and I appreciate that... But I truly think that unless you have lost a baby... I don't think it can be fully understand... Because I have seen and heard now that what I feel is totally normal when you have lost a baby already. I think that our situation of Faiths baby, the one that we were going to adopt being stillborn too, just makes all these "highly unlikely"'things to happen more likely... We have seen it in the past... So sometimes the impossible seems possible if that makes sense.

She did tell me she thought I was obsessing over it... Hmmm that made me feel a little "nuts" so to speak. I did learn that there is no stage 4 with the aging placenta thing... 3 is the last stage... That left Greg feeling more at peace. Me, not so much. And apparently I have an increased risk of a placental abruption than normal. It is still unlikely, like maybe a 1 percent chance. Please pray against that as that would be really bad, seeing as we are 40 minutes from the hospital.

She did agree for me to be seen 3 times a week for all the testing on Levi. So Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays we will be checked. That makes me feel better that they have a better chance of catching something since it won't be as long between visits. I REALLY appreciate being able to do that.

Believably or not, I actually feel a sense of peace tonight. Thank you Lord!!! I have needed it.

She also said there is no way they would let memo past 37 weeks, and that I probably won't make it there. So at the latest, we should meet Levi the 15th of March, but most likely earlier. Sounds good to me.

Continually crying out to God for peace!!

Continually thankful for all the ways people have helped lately!!

Continually thankful for the prayers lifted on mine and Levi's behalf!!

Continually placing this little guy in the Lord's hands... Can't wait till he physically is in mine:)

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

My Doctor called this evening on his way home from work... He had an emergency surgery and a c- section this afternoon, so it was late before he could call.

He said the high risk doc wasn't concerned. The appearance of the placenta isn't a sign of how well it is functioning. The tests on Levi show that and those are all good at this point. He said it isn't something that changes overnight... It happens slowly.

He could sense that nothing he said really put me at ease. ( I just have a hard time believing that I couldn't be an exception to what seems to be the rule.). And personally if it needs to get to the point of showing problems in Levi's growth or something, that is too late for me. My doctor had said before that he would have no problem putting me in the hospital anytime. But the high risk doctor said she didn't feel like insurance would cover it at this point. I really like my doctor and the high risk doctor and I want them to know that I really value their opinions... It is just extremely hard after all that we have been through to know that there are issues with my placenta... Yet apparently it is no big deal. I want them to know that I am so grateful for their help and care. But as Levi's mom I have do all I can to make sure he is safe.

I have an appointment with the high risk doctor on Thursday morning. Of course we are expecting ice and snow and being that we live 40 minutes from the hospital and they do nothing with the roads here in bad weather, getting there will be interesting... Being from Wisconsin it is still a little strange to me that they don't have any plows here at all. It is really important to me to make sure we get to the appointment as this is when they check him to make sure the placenta issues aren't affecting Levi at all.

So that is where we are at today. we are so thankful that it seems like none of us have caught the bug Anna had. Thank you Lord! It seems like this bug is sweeping through other families! So we are so thankful our immune builder tincture seems to be doing it's job this year. :). Greg works from home tomorrow just to be available if needed:).

I am praying for the Lord to cover us in His peace tonight. Praying you are all doing well also. I miss being able to keep track of all of hour blogs from this little IPod... I will catch up...

Monday, January 17, 2011

We are thankful tonight that little Levi passed his biophysical profile with flying colors:). Way to go little man!!

It was hilarious, during the ultrasound, you could see him yawning over and over again. Our sweet tech even caught the funniest picture of Levi when was sticking his tongue out.

The other good thing was that my placenta looked the same as it did last Thursday.

G and I had a good talk with my OB. He said that he will call the high risk doc tomorrow and then will call me after he visits with her. He was fine with sending me home today. He said there would be some increased risks for me if I am hospitalized like... Blood clots, infection.... Although both would be unlikely. He did say of course that Levi would be getting more monitoring if I was there.

I asked him (knowing fully that he can't make any predictions) if we were for sure looking at a premature baby? He said he didn't feel there was anyway that I would see 38-39 weeks. He said 36 was a possibility... That made me feel good. At least he didn't think at all that anything is imminent:) and we could even see week 36 with the possibility of very little nicu time. That would be awesome! I know the Lord already knows this little guys birthday.

So tomorrow, little miss Hope will spend the day with my sweet friend Shelley and family and the kids and I will crank on the school work from bed until the doctor calls again. Can I just say my rearend is really getting sore after sitting so much...

Sunday, January 16, 2011

I go back to the doctor tomorrow morning early so I will try to update after that....

But I have been doing a lot of thinking.... what else do you do when you are sitting in bed 24/7:)

I did call my doctor back last Friday and had him answer some more of my questions.

He reassured me that usually this placenta thing isn't a quick over night change sort of thing... he said we would see signs in Levi that if it wasn't still functioning would affect Levi. (Really after all we have been through... that is too late for me... I don't want to see signs in him that he isn't getting what he needs... does that make sense??)

We talked about putting me back in the hospital. I informed him that we are 40 minutes from the hospital if we are at home... he said we will discuss it tomorrow and that he can put me in at any time... he just wanted to buy me more time for our sake.

So I am packing a few things just in case that is where I end up after my visit.

Par for the course... Levi wiggles a good amount during the day... but he continues to do his usual... never moves at night... by morning I am usually still quite tired from staying awake trying to get him to move...listening for his heartbeat on the doppler... and just becoming restless and uncomfortable with his lack of movement.

I know this is his consistent pattern, but it is hard.... knowing Samuel died sometime during the night and I woke up with no movement... Even knowing Levi's life is in God's hands.... IT IS SO HARD NOT TO FEEL RESPONSIBL for this little guy... I think Greg finally understands my feelings with this... as a daddy, it isn't going on inside of him... he relies on me to keep track of that and the doctors.

We just want to do absolutely everything we can to allow Levi the very best outcome possible. I am soooooo thankful to be at 29 weeks tomorrow... but I would love for him to stay put as long as my placenta is working. And I would love to be where I need to be so that if action has to be taken at some point early we are in the very capable hands of doctors:)

So we will see ...

We have lots of people who have offered to help with the kids so I think we have a plan somewhat in place... Thank you Lord for people who are willing to help us during this time. Thanks for your continued prayers...

Besides this Levi news:) We did have Anna down and out throwing up yesterday every 14 minutes for a good 7 hours... I felt so bad for her. Eventually yesterday after noon she could keep a little bit of liquids down. We are praying that no one else gets it. I think it is weird that threw up one time on Monday and then we are all fine till early Saturday morning... It seems like that wouldn't be the same bug. Other than that... not to much happened that I could see from the bedroom... I am so thankful that everyone has adjusted well to mom having to stay put.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

I wanted to give you all an update on my appointment today with the high risk doctor. I am going to lay it all out there and I think I will try to post tomorrow about where I am at spiritually with everything that is going on. ( It was interesting because after I woke up way too early by my standards this morning, 6 am, checked on Levi with the doppler because he didn't seem to be moving enough, then I researched some stillbirth sites... Just to make sure I wasn't missing something.... Then g and I had a huge discussion about our faith in the midst of all of this.... I will try to post on that tomorrow)

Any ways back to the doctors visit. He sure does look precious up there huh? It looks like he has chubby cheeks already:)

My blood pressure was fine... Yay!!! My protein was fine:). Levi did great on the non stress test and the biophysical profile. Yay Levi!!! Those are all great things. Praise God!!!

Here is where it gets dicey for me... Last week she had said that my placenta as aging a little prematurely, but that it was nothing to worry about and that we would monitor it. It was a stage 2 last week. 0 is normal and 4 is the worst. Well low and behold, today we were at a stage 3... Ugh! She really didn't seem concerned, I of course was. She said that the function was still fine because everything pointed to that in the tests done with Levi.

She even went on to say that we could be at stage 4 with tiny black spots where the placenta wasn't working anymore and that if the function was fine and Levi was fine that we wouldn't have to deliver immediately. I just said REALLY??? Just thinking... You have got to be kidding me... How would I be expected to go home OK with that and go on with life as normal??? I know she is the high risk doctor and obviously knows WAY more than me, but she also hasn't lived through what I have.

In my mind I think... How do we know when the placenta will finally not do it's job when it is showing signs of premature aging? Will it be too late? I want to fight for my baby, but struggle when she really has an answer for everything and doesn't seem worried. Am I just over reacting? I feel like his safety is somewhat in my hands ( I know ultimately God is in control:). But I am supposed to be watching for movement changes.... Ummmm yeah! I can be watching him move all around on the ultrasound monitor and barely even feel any of it?? I guess my aging placenta is acting like a buffer to me. It just seems like I can't really win... in my book, I want him to be moving all the time so I know that he is. Does this make sense? Please if anyone has been in my shoes let me know if you have feelings about any of what I said.

So now the whole bp thing seems to be responding great to the Meds and the bedrest... But this placenta thing is more of the concern. Would you please pray with me for a miracle, that my placenta would stop aging right now, continue functioning exactly how it should, and that none of this would affect Levi. Also pray that although he needs to sleep that he would be active and that his movements would reassure me. I am also praying that if something is not right, that I would know it, recognize it and be able to act quickly to get Levi exactly whatever help he needs.

My next appointment is Monday with my regular doc but I will still have the nst ( nonstress test) and the bpp (biophysical profile) done on Levi! it melted my heart to see a 4 d picture of him... MELTED... MY... HEART!!

Lord, please heal my body and allow it to work exactly how it should. Please watch over this little miracle ,Levi, that you have allowed to grow inside of me. Thank you for each day we have with him. Please Lord protect Him from any harm if That is your will Lord! Please give us peace father as we on your timing for his precious little life. FILL us with your peace! We need it Lord! We know that you promise to be with us... please Lord make your presence known and felt in our lives today:)

Monday, January 10, 2011

Tomorrow will mark 1 week of bedrest down... It has not been bad at all, thanks to everyones help:). That gives me great hope that we can manage the upcoming weeks with God's help.

I am sitting here at 10:30 at night drinking a glass of juice and eating a banana with chocolate fondue:). Is that bad or what??:). I know I have said it before, but Levi isn't a big mover in general. I know I could be overly sensitive to his movements due to Samuel's situation. Or maybe it is just too early to be feeling more... Or maybe he will just be a laid back baby... I don't know, but, needless to say, he is wiggling around a whole lot more than he was 20 minutes ago:)

I saw the regular doc today. The non stress test (nst) went great and Levi's biophysical profile was fine too. Yay! My bp and protein were also good. So all in all it was a great visit. I see the high risk doctor Thursday to do the same and she will compare everything(placenta and such) to last weeks ultrasound to make sure all is good! I AM so thankful they are keeping a close eye on everything.

If you could add Jojo to your prayers, he seems to have a stomach bug and threw up tonight. We are praying no ones else gets it and thankfully, it was a one time deal for him, so maybe it was something he ate... Hmmm, I hope so!

We enjoyed a beautiful dusting of snow, our first of the year. The kids had a ball outside . I could see them running around the back yard from my bed... They looked so sweet out there. We had fun sharing some hot cocoa in my bed afterwards:).

I'll keep you posted... Hope you are all well too... I am having a hard time checking everyone's blogs from this little IPod. I miss reading them and keeping up with you... Maybe at some point we can get our old lab top working:).

Saturday, January 8, 2011

The last couple of days have been really uneventful... Until the last 30 minutes...

When I was in the hospital there were a couple of times I felt maybe I was getting a UTI. But the feeling always passed really quickly and for the most part I have felt great since I got home.

But low and behold, I just got up off the couch for the first time in 3 hours to use the bathroom and I passed 3 kidney stones. CRAZY!!! Thank God, the last 4 I have passed really weren't bad... Just more of a surprise than anything else. Honestly , I came out laughing to Greg and the boys! I truly am really extremely healthy normally. But I have had my share of weird issues as of late.

I am so thankful hat God has made these sort of crazy things work out ok so far. Little Levi seems to be handling everything great. And my heart is falling more and more in love with him with each passing day! Bed rest has given me the chance to just sit and treasure each movement and heartbeat I get to hear.

I am thankful that since we have gotten home, the family has adjusted great to Mom being in bed. Really it has been better than I had anticipated! Last night the other families from our small group came over to help me clean our bedroom... What a relief! It looks great and my room is now the refuge I have always hoped it to be:). I did have to humble myself and accept the help and we had some good laughs in the process of getting it done. It was actually a lot of fun:). I am so thankful to have friends who are so willing to help us out:)

Thursday, January 6, 2011

So the doctor said my numbers came in just below what I needed it to be at to go home. They haven't discharged me yet, but should be doing that soon:)

The high risk doctor did say she felt like I will be back in here at some point again before Levi comes, but that hopefully we can buy us all some time with mom at home before that happens. That sounds good to me.

It is very hard for me to let messes go, but that will have to change for a while:). And truly I will do anything within my power to get Levi here safely and at the right time. The kids are huge helpers but I also want to not expect too much of them. I know Greg can take care of things very well too, but I also know he has a full time job and helping with the kids will be a lot. We have very sweet friends who are being very persistent on making sure we accept meals. ( thanks Nikki and Shelley) Even though we have meals frozen, those will go pretty quickly if I am not cooking at all. So I am so thankful that church can help us out with that. Thank you God! That will be a huge help.

So I am going home on strict orders to monitor my bp and stay put! So stay put I will:).

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Hi friends, it is me Sara.I think I finally figured out how to post from the boy's IPod. We will see how this goes:). Well let me say for a guy who doesn't really even look at my blog often, my hubby sure posted some kind words:).

I kind of smile thinking of him at home with all the kids,busy as can be, while I sit here literally laying around. I think they are doing well so far.

Onto Levi, I just love him, love sitting here hearing his heart beat. He is doing great,praise God! He got his first dose of steroids last night and will get one more tonight just in case to help mature his lungs. The thought he was measuring about 2 lbs 6 oz yesterday so that is a few days ahead of schedule.

Like G said once we get the 24 urine results back then we will go from there. If my levels are over 300 it looks like I will be staying till we meet Levi. But if we are under 300 then we go home on bedrest. The high risk doctor thinks I will probably be over the 300 with the blood pressure as high as it was yesterday at 180 over 105. So we will see. I am so thankful that I feel fine and even more so that Levi is doing so well.

My prayer is that we can make it as many weeks more as we can. The doctor said that you never know I could possibly make it full term. This is all new territory for me, I have always gone fullterm and never had an issue until Samuel was stillborn due to the Cord accident. I have always had very uneventful pregnancies... But obviously God has us on another little adventure with this special guy:).

So we wait on God's timing... Thanks so much for your prayers . We will keep you all posted:)

So far... so good! Sara's BP was able to be regulated/brought down with the medications they gave her at the hospital. Levi is still doing wonderful and now we have to wait and see what the urine tests will come back with. We are praying that the condition is simply due to Sara's BP and can be somewhat handled easier than the alternative... which is related to pre eclampsia.

Please know also that my sweet love, Sara, is doing well also. When I spoke with her this morning by phone, she sounded great. She is definitely the best Mom out there and I am so thankful for her love and care for me and the children. It is very easy to see, when a situation like this comes along, how much she does for our family (I'm at home with the kids... working, trying to homeschool, breakfast, morning chores, etc.) The good news is that we haven't burned the house down and no one is crying at the moment! Praise the Lord!

Seriously though, Sara is completely awesome. I know I don't say it enough... and I am sorry for that... but it is nice to be able to write on her blog and share how fantastic it has been with her on this journey called life. God always knows what He is doing and He gave me a wonderful bride.

I can't thank you enough for your prayers (and continued ones at that!). We are constantly reminded that God is in control and He is with us always... He promised in His Word. :)

I'll do my best to update and hopefully soon the Rightful Blog Owner will assume her position at the keyboard.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

This is Greg. Please keep Sara in your prayers as the doctor had to admit her to the hospital for high blood pressure. We will keep you up to date. The doctor said that Levi is looking great, but Sara had to bring the BP down... minimum 2 to 3 days in the hospital.

We love you so much and thank you for praying for us. Our God reigns and we pray for His will to be done! Thank you.

I wanted to share this sweet precious little guy's name with you all so you can pray for him by name these next weeks as we get closer and closer to meeting him face to face.

As much as it has been different, and at times strange, to know the sex of this little guy wiggling around inside of me... it has been pure bliss...

I have loved knowing there is a little boy in there...

And now, I have loved calling him by name when I feel him moving around and when I pray for him...My sweet little Levi:) It brings my heart so much joy.

Greg and I have always like the name Levi... so when we started talking names Levi came up pretty quickly...

Levi means...UNITED, JOINED IN HARMONY

Greg right away thought that was such a cool meaning especially in light of this baby growing as a result of our embryo adoption. We love the meaning and find it so appropriate in our situation. We are amazed at how the Lord united us to our embryo donor... she has given us such a HUGE blessing and we couldn't be more thankful. We share so many of the same hopes and dreams for Levi because we share the same faith. In an email that our donor sent to us on Samuel's birthday she mentioned that while, of course we don't know what Heaven is fully like or what all happens there, she wondered if the Lord had brought together her late husband and Samuel in Heaven just like he has brought us together here on earth. Even though we know Heaven is perfect and there are no needs there for Samuel or her husband it brought my heart such a sweet feeling to think of God possibly allowing that to happen.

We also love the meaning because we long for the day when we will be united with our Savior in Heaven and when we will be reunited with our sweet Samuel again as well... So there you have the meaning behind naming him LEVI.

We wanted to honor our donors as well. Our sweet donor mom was widowed at 27 years old when her husband RYAN passed away. That is really the main reason the embryos were even available. From all we have heard about her husband, he sounds like such a neat Christian young man. So Levi will have his donor dads name as his middle name:) and we love that.

It is funny that we have had a couple of people mention to us in the last 6 months that there really wasn't a reason that we would ever need to tell Levi that he wasn't biologically ours. While I understood where they were coming from... that just has never been our heart from the get go with this. To us this is all part of this precious boys life... God's story for his life. To us, sharing Levi's story shows the awesome power of our God and the miracles that He is capable of even today! And really we are thrilled that he was adopted as an embryo, as this makes Hope not the only adopted child in our family. So we celebrate Levi Ryan and his life... from conception and well beyond...

Saturday, January 1, 2011

WE HAD A VERY QUICK DAY AND A HALF WITH GREG'S PARENTS WHO DROVE UP THE DAY AFTER CHRISTMAS. IT WAS A REALLY NICE VISIT, BUT WAY TOO FAST FOR ALL OF US. IT WAS LIKE THEY WERE HERE AND THEN GONE... WE WOULD HAVE LIKED A LITTLE MORE TIME WITH THEM.

THIS IS HOPE'S TYPICAL SMILE NOW... SHE IS REALLY HAMMING THINGS UP THESE DAYS. AND JOJO WAS THRILLED WITH HIS NEW TEDDY BEAR, CARAMEL, THAT HE GOT FROM GRANDMA AND GRANDPA HINTZ WHILE THEY WERE HERE.THE HAYTER FAMILY, OUR UP STAIRS NEIGHBORS FROM THE SEMINARY, CAME DOWN FOR A FEW DAYS. WHAT A SPECIAL TREAT THAT WAS FOR US. THE KIDS HAD A BALL TOGETHER. IT TOOK ABOUT 2 HOURS AFTER THEY WOKE UP THE FIRST DAY TO HEAD INTO THE WOODS TO FIND THE INDIAN GRAVEYARD AND START BUILDING SOME FORTS... THE PARENTS ALL LAUGHED... FORT BUILDING WAS ALWAYS GOING ON AROUND THE SEMINARY CAMPUS. THEY WERE BACK TO THEIR OLD PLAYING WAYS. THE KIDS ALSO KILLED TONS OF TIME PLAYING BOARD AND CARD GAMES.

GREG AND I ENJOYED HAVING TIME TO CHAT AND VISIT ABOUT ALL ASPECTS OF LIFE WITH OUR FRIENDS. SO VERY MUCH HAS CHANGED SINCE THE DAYS THAT MARYANN WOULD COME DOWN AND HAVE TEA/COFFEE WITH ME IN BUILDING 4A... I REMEMBER SOMETIMES RETREATING TO OUR BEDROOM TO CHAT AT THAT TIME JUST BECAUSE THE APARTMENTS WERE SMALL AND OUTSIDE THERE WERE ALWAYS SOOOOOO MANY OTHER PEOPLE AROUND. THOSE WERE SUCH GREAT TIMES... I STILL MISS IT AND ALL OF OUR SWEET FRIENDS FROM THOSE DAYS.

WE HAD SUCH A NICE, RELAXING TIME THIS PAST WEEK. OF COURSE WE MISSED ALL THE FUN OF MY BIG FAMILY UP NORTH AT THE CABIN ENJOYING THE SNOW, FROZEN LAKE, ICE SKATING, GAME PLAYING... BUT I THINK GOD KNEW JUST WHAT MY BODY AND BLOOD PRESSURE NEEDED THIS YEAR....LOTS OF LAYING AROUND:)

MY IN LAWS WERE REALLY SWEET TO GET ME AN AT HOME BLOOD PRESSURE MONITOR AND THAT REALLY HELPS, IT GIVES ME PEACE OF MIND JUST TO BE ABLE TO KEEP A GOOD CLOSE CHECK ON THINGS. IT IS CLEARLY OBVIOUS WHEN I AM DOING TOO MUCH.

OUR TREE IS ALIVE AND WELL... WE PICKED THE PERFECT ONE THIS YEAR... SO IT WILL STAY UP FOR ANOTHER WEEK:) I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE TO SIT AT NIGHT WITH A CHAIR PULLED UP BY THE FIRE, THE CHRISTMAS TREE LIGHTS ON, AND HAVING A CHANCE TO READ A BOOK. RIGHT NOW I AM READING 90 MINUTES IN HEAVEN... IT IS A SUPER EASY READ AND REALLY PRETTY ASTOUNDING AT TIMES... YEAH, I AM PRETTY SURE I WOULDN'T HAVE WANTED TO COME BACK IF I HAD THE CHANCE TO EXPERIENCE HEAVEN.... LIKE COMPLETELY SURE:)

WELL, I BETTER GET THE KIDDOS SOME LUNCH... I THINK I WILL TRY TO POST ABOUT THAT FAVORITE CHRISTMAS PRESENT THIS YEAR IN THE NEXT COUPLE OF DAYS... LOUIS AND I EDITED SOME PICS TO POST WITH IT:)

About Me

I am a stay at home, homeschooling mom to 8 wonderful children. Our 5th child Samuel went from his home in my cozy womb to His Heavenly Fathers arms on October 29th 2008, just 1 day after his due date. We still miss him like crazy everyday.
We have since added our daughter, Hope Jubilee, to our family through domestic adoption, as of August 2010. In March of 2011 we were blessed with the birth of our son Levi, who is a miraculous gift we received through embryo adoption. And we anticipate the finalization of our adoption of Isaiah in early May 2013.
This is not the life we ever anticipated living, but we are in awe of God's plans for our family. We are living life surrendering to the will and plans of our Heavenly Father...
Our life is one filled with great joy as we daily live life, and as we look forward with great anticipation to being united with our Savior and reunited with our son Samuel in Heaven.

Followers

SAMUEL'S NAME IN THE SAND

A FAVORITE PICTURE OF OUR FIRST 5

ME AND MY HONEY

OUR LOUIS

OUR CALEB

OUR ANNA

OUR JOJO

OUR SAMUEL...SAFE IN HEAVEN

Baby Joel safe in Heaven

OUR SWEET BABY GIRL

Levi... our miracle through embryo adoption

Our Isaiah

Please Be Gentle By Jill B. Englar

Please be gentle with me for I am grieving.The sea I swim in is a lonely oneand the shore seems miles away.Waves of despair numb my soulas I struggle through each day.My heart is heavy with sorrow. I want to shout and screamand repeatedly ask 'why?'At times, my grief overwhelms me and I weep bitterly,so great is my loss.Please don’t turn away or tell me to move on with my life.I must embrace my painbefore I can begin to heal.Companion me through tearsand sit with me in loving silence.Honor where I am in my journey,not where you think I should be.Listen patiently to my story,I may need to tell it over and over again.It’s how I begin to graspthe enormity of my loss.Nurture me throughthe weeks and months ahead.Forgive me when I seemdistant and inconsolable.A small flame still burns within my heart,and shared memories may triggerboth laughter and tears.I need your support and understanding.There is no right or wrong way to grieve.I must find my own path.Please, will you walk beside me?

Remembering

RememberingGo ahead and mention my child,The one that died, you know.Don't worry about hurting me further.The depth of my pain doesn't show.Don't worry about making me cry.I'm already crying inside.Help me to healby releasing the tears that I try to hide.I'm hurt when you just keep silent,Pretending he didn't exist.I'd rather you mention my child,Knowing that he has been missed.You asked me how I was doing.I say "pretty good" or "fine".But healing is something ongoingI feel it will take a lifetime.~ Elizabeth Dent ~