OK GANG ILL BE STU BASS TODAY!!!!! What is the worst song you thought that was ever recorded that became a hit!!! Does anyone remember this record (and yes Im ashamed to say its in my apartment) ,,,LOL it was horrible!!!! It was from 1975 and it was called Run Joey Run by David Geddes.. Its about a teenager who gets pregnant and it sounds like one of those death records by the Shangri las and the girl says.. "Daddy Please Dont it wasnt his fault he means so much to me" Daddy Please Dont were gonna get married just wait and see" Its got to be the funniest thing on record I have ever heard and it cracks me up and I cant believe in 1975 it went to number four!!! Have you ever heard something that was so horrible (I dont mean sing along) I mean horrible to the ears or just plain stupid that became a hit!!! Oh by the way Chuck Berry's My Ding a Ling DOES NOT QUALIFY!!!! I have seen that on too many lists before... Stephanie

DOES THIS MEAN THAT THE GHOST OF EERRRGGGH IS ABOUT TO RISE FROM THE GRAVE? IT LIVVVVVES!!IT LIVVVVVES!!JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT IT WAS SAFE TO HATE YOUR LEAST FAVORITE SONGS!!!OH WELL{THREE TIMES A LADY,AND ANYTHING BY LARRY GRAHAM}!

And a big pre-emptive strike on all top ten entries by Pat Boone, Paul Anka, Air Supply, Captain & Tennile, Harry Chapin, Cher, Jim Croce, Tony Orlando & Dawn...and I've only gotten past the G's in the alphabet! This is exhausting; I'm beginning to feel a dull throbbing in my head. There's just too many; can someone pick it up from here? I need to lie down now.

GREETINGS ALL: DO I DETECT AN ANTI-BOBBY GOLDSBORO TREND HERE!!!...DON'T YOU ALL KNOW THAT HE CAN CHIRP JUST LIKE A CRICKET!!!...I'VE SEEN HIM DO IT...AND IT'S THE BEST CRICKET IMPERSONATION THAT I'VE EVER SEEN!!!...STU

R&B: I'VE GOT TO TAKE ISSUE WITH YOU ON YOUR LARRY GRAHAM TAKE!!!..."ONE IN A MILLION"...VERY MELODIC SONG...PERFECT FOR ADULT CONTEMPORARY RADIO...AND THAT DUDE COULD SLAP THE S#!$ OUT OF THAT BASS!!!...STU

"Blind Man In The Bleachers" - It's about a high school football player (actually a bench warmer) who has a blind father. The father passes on during a football game & the bench warmer demands to be out into to game so that his father can see him play from heaven!

SO STEVE: LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT!!!...WHEN YOU DIE AND GO TO HEAVEN...STRICTLY FROM A THEOLOGICAL PERSPECTIVE...YOU REGAIN AND RECOVER FROM ANY AND ALL EARTHLY IMPERFECTIONS???...NOW I CERTAINLY HAVE MY DOUBTS ABOUT THE 81 VIRGIN'S AWAITING ME...BUT PERHAPS THAT WOULD MEAN THAT I WOULD REGAIN EVERY CHOP AND LICK THAT I USED TO PLAY ON MY FENDER JAZZ BASS???...NOW...IF I CAN ONLY ASSURE MY PRESENCE IN THE "GREAT BEYOND"...I MIGHT EVEN TRY MY HAND AT SINGING AGAIN!!!...STU

Sue, I can tell you're itchin'to fully re-live errggh by banning my pre-emptive strike. I was just trying to head off the redundancy of re-trashing "You're Havin'My Baby', "Feelings", "You Light Up My Life", etc.

And I'll bet you never told your CREEM co-workers about liking "All By Myself" for fear of mockery and ridicule. But I'm a big fan of his rockers like "Go All The Way" and "Tonight" and a good many others with the Raspberries.

Sue, the other female editor you're refering to, was that Jaan Uhelszki? I see her stuff pop up in Mojo on a regular basis. I always wondered if Jaan was male or female and how the hell was her name pronounced!

Since I have great respect for your opinion and we're usually in agreeance (thanks Fred Durst)when it comes to personal taste, would you please explain what you hear in "All By Myself", which to my ears is a total schlockfest, that I have been missing all these years?

Yes Jaan is of the female gender, and the two of us would take constant taunts from Lester and crew, for "liking" Led Zeppelin. None of their disses against LZ are printable.

She hasn't been in Mojo that much lately. I was in most recently, Sept. Both of us decry the old boy establishment there, so write them and complain!

I don't see a huge gap between "Go All The Way," which is 100% Eric Carmen, and his "All By Myself," it's all basically the same song ...just like the Rolling Stones essentially re-do the same song over and over. (Now I'm going to get it ...)

YES STU,LARRY IS A GREAT BASS PLAYER BUT HIS VOICE JUST DESTROYS ME AND THAT'S NOT A COMPLIMENT.INSTEAD OF SENDING TROOPS TO IRAQ,JUST SEND A TAPE OF ONE IN A MILLION AND THE SOLDIERS IN THAT ARMY WILL USE THE NUKES ON THEMSELVES JUST TO KEEP FROM HEARING ONE MORE VERSE!

When I was on the road,the band had toured with Frankie Avalon in Australia.So when we were going thru Philly we stopped at his parents home as he was still living there at the time. He was home at the time and said watch my dog when I play Dee Dee Dina. When he put it on his dog started just howling and yelping till the song was over. He told us that his dog had good taste in music. Frankie had a good sense of humor and knew it wasn't the greatest and wasn't to proud to make fun of his own singing. He's one of the good guys. When I was introduced to his father,I made the mistake of saying Mr. Avalon, he corrected me right away,saying "my names Mr.Avaloni NOT Avalon THATS my sons stage name. He made sure we all had a glass of wine and some cheese and bread. He had wonderful Italian manners.A very nice father. Frankie made the mistake of leaving his car parked in front of his house and when we went to leave girls had written" I love you Frankie" in lipstick all over his car!!! Lynn P.S. In the mid 60s a lady named Mrs. Miller had a parody song that was god awful,out of key,it was hilarious.I think she had to be a good singer to sing that exactly out of key thru the whole song1 It might have been Winchester Cathedral,but I really don't remember.

yes, Lynn, you're talking about Mrs. Miller, the singing Grandma. She cut several LPs of off-key pop covers in the '60s but I sure don't know who was buying them. I never was quite sure if she was on the level or a self-aware parody. She and Tiny Tim are probably warbling duets in heaven now, filling the angels with devilish thoughts!

Not only do I cringe when WCBS-FM plays it, I pretend I'm Elvis aiming a big fat magnum at the radio! What the hell Colpix Records was thinking when they had her cut that song, God only knows.

As for Bobby Goldsboro, I do like his 1973 hit "Summer...The First Time" and his pre-Honey material. Everything else between 1968 & 1972 should be bulk-erased. Tony Orlando & Dawn were pure bubblegum to me so I wasn't so irritated by their early stuff. Yet, I did stop listening to them when they started recording R&B covers ("Cupid" & "He Will Break Your Heart", which Tony retitled "He Don't Love You Like I Love You" - the nerve of the guy... ). Kevin Goins - KevGo

Sue: You're right about different tastes...I prefer Rolling Stone over Creem...Shelly Fabares can't sing a good song even if she tried (she admitted this to Ed Sullivan's booking agent when he wanted her to appear on his show**)...Bobby Goldsboro wasn't too bad until he turned mushy as hell...and Elvis needed a new TV set after the Goulet/Magnum 45 incident of nineteen-sixty-whatever... Different strokes for different folks... Kevin Goins - KevGo

I've gotta nominate "Gimme Dat Ding" by The Pipkins. It was like Alvin & The Chipmunks gone bad.....

Awww c'mon KevGo..."Johnny Angel" wasn't so bad if you looked at her while she was singing it ! (LOL) I saw it intro'd on the Donna Reed show...and considering that she was one of the more attractive (supposed) teenage characters on the tube at that time (at least more attractive than "Kitten" and "Princess" on "Father Knows Best" (LOL)...it sounded great.

Ha! Bad songs??? Does anyone know or remember "Candyman" by Sammy Davis, Jr.? Or "Sugar" by the Archies?? There is something about the melody of "My Funny Valentine" that makes my skin crawl...I don't even like Miles' rendidition.

Yeah, "Candy Man" is nauseating... but I think the director of the horror movie, "Candyman," really missed the boat by not using the song of the same name in the movie... maybe a new, stripped-down version would have worked; the song's disgusting cheeriness could have provided a counterpoint to the dark tone and gore in the film, resulting in a creepy, eerie feel.... sort of like the connotation that "In Dreams" took on in the movie "Blue Velvet."

I'm picking up with the H's and still trying not to repeat, as well as I can remember, the errggh cuts that we've already eviscerated.

See You In September-The Happenings--a 50's song in the 60's decade, woefully out of time, yet a steady rotator on oldies radio. About as much soul as Gary Lewis.

Sometimes When We Touch-Dan Hill--Imported Canadian sludge. So sensitve it makes my skin hurt.

Escape(The Pina Colada Song)-Rupert Holmes--harmless enough escapist pop fare, maybe, but THREE weeks at #1 elevates it to a more profound offense. Rupert's follow-up, "Him", was certainly worse and also a top ten.

Those Were The Days-Mary Hopkin--I wonder if this song would have been half as big without the McCartney/Apple connection.Truly dreadful anti-rock and roll, both song and singer.

The Unicorn-Irish Rovers--an unholy blend of Irish and Canadian earnest folk that wasted too much time on my radio in '68 when I craved anything else.

Rock-A-Bye Your Baby With A Dixie Mlelody-Jerry Lewis--a top 10 in '56 that offers proof that the sins of the son begin with the father.

I'd Love You To Want Me & Don't Expect Me To Be Your Friend-Lobo--the two top ten follow-ups to "Me And You And A Dog Named Boo" (thoroughly namechecked on errggh). No, I can't remember what either one sounded like but they had to suck.

The Morning After-Maureen McGovern--remembered as the theme from"The Poseidon Adventure". Why, Lord, couldn't she have been on that ship?

Fury13 I think "Candyman" would've been great on the soundtrack to "Night Of The Living Dead"...can't you just picture it: those 'things' slowly advancing upon the house...walking in herky-jerky rhythm to "Candyman"...too much!!

It's my opinion that the most heinous, horrible, detestable hit record of all time is "Patches", by Dickie Lee, from 1962. If you've never heard it, I envy you. If you have heard it, I apologize for reminding you of it. I know I'm getting old, but I have a feeling that almost every hit record of the past 10 or 12 years is something that I might put on this list. But here are some (other) specific hit records that get on my nerves badly: 1) "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin- I heard this on the radio at the barber shop today; what a crock of sh*t. "To be a rock, and not to rrollllll..." 2) "Color My World" by Chicago- I hate all their stuff, but to me, this is their crowning achievement in Schlock. 3) "I Can't Fight This Feeling" by REO Speedwagon- what did I ever do to deserve having to hear this record? 4) "Babe" by Styx- ditto. Also, I think "Johnny Angel" rocks, although I'd never admit that in public. OOPS, I guess I just did..

Marshall.... ....have you ever heard "StairwayS To Heaven"? A CD done by an Australian comedian, who parodies STH as if the Doors, or Rolf Harris, or the B-52's would have done it. Damn it if it doesn't work as early Beatles to "I Want To Hold Your Hand".

YOU'RE KILLIN ME R&B...BUT OK...NO LARRY GRAHAM FOR YOU...BUT THE NEXT TIME THAT I'M IN PROXIMITY OF THAT TUNE (HOPEFULLY NOT IN IRAQ)...I'M GOING TO CRANK IT... MAX...AND JUST ENJOY LARRY'S DEEP...DEEP...EASY...SMOOTH...BARITONE...AND JUST GET RIGHT INTO THE HIP POCKET OF THE "FEELIN"!!!...STU

In addition to MHC's list , which contains many of my personal non-faves , there was a song within the last ten years or so by 4 Non Blondes ; I believe it was called "Whats Going On " or Whats Up or something. Man !! Reekadelic ! I thought it was a parody the first few times I was trapped into hearing it . Maybe it was..

Larry Graham has one of the best baritone voices in the business. "One In A Million You" and "Just Be My Lady" are very beautiful songs that, unfortunately, were very overplayed by soft rock and "light" format radio stations. Saw Larry sing it live and sounded great. Peace.

douglasm - those parody versions of "Stairway To Heaven" come from a satirical Aussie TV show called THE MONEY OR THE GUN, broadcast by the Australian Broadcasting Corporation. And here's the really interesting trivia (not!) - I went to high school with that show's musical director, who was a genuine Zep fan when I knew him (as well as being a fan of Yes, Genesis, ELP, and every other godforsaken British prog-rock band!), so I'm not sure how much intentional "parody" element was in those new versions (I liked the Sydney Bach Choir's version). Anyway, I'm with Marshall on this one (sorry Sue).

However, that song has fairly recently been supplanted at the top of my own personal I-wish-the-f***-it-would-go-away list by:

MAMBO # 5 (or is it #9?) by Lou Bega! Is it my imagination, or is the horn section just blowing one note?

WELL STU,YOU GO RIGHT AHEAD AND CRANK IT UP MY FRIEND,DO YOUR THING BUT FOR ME IF THERE WAS A CHOICE BETWEEN LISTENING TO HIS VOICE AND SITTING IN THE SNOW IN A PAMPER,HMMMM...HOW DEEP IS THE SNOW TODAY???

Since we are re-treading some "errrrgh" ground, maybe we could make a diversion into the worst "recorded" songs to make the top ten. I'm not sure if it's the worst, but Timmy Thomas' "Why Can't We Live Together" sounds like the demo it is. They must have known what they were doing when they released it, though, because despite its obvious low production value, no cover version (including Sade in the 80s and Joan Osborne recently) has been able to top the sucker. This despite the fact that it has a 90 second Lowry Organ with dimestore drum machine instrumental intro on a less than 3-1/2 minute track.

It's like the planets aligned and they didn't happen to be in the studio for it. The song and the track both seem unfinished, but it captured a moment, I guess.

Hey KevGo, Shelly Fabares is a nice person and knew she couldn't sing & did not want to BUT the powers behind the show said "Sing or you won't be on next season".She says she had a great time in the studio with her background singers THE BLOSSOMS(Darlene Love,Jean King & Fanita James) they really made the record andShelly says they made her feel better about the whole thing.She was Elvis' favorite co-star in his movies(she made 3).One of my Jr. High School Principals was named John Angel-I'm sure he HATED that song.Kevin,I sure hope I get to Detroit in May to meet you and everyone else.I agree about the Timmy Thomas record...that ol'cheap skate Henry Stone!

Ken, I'm sorry but I love "Why Can't We Live Together" for many of the same reasons you listed. Plus the lyrical sentiment, in all its simplicity, couldn't be more timely today. I remember buying the single back in '73 and being mesmerized by the el-cheapo electronic drum pulse. Many times I've called up my buds at the local (Clear Channel) oldies station, requested it, and when they play it I'll play "dashboard keyboards" along with it! Oh well, different strokes...

John, Re-read carefully. I like it, too. No apologies necessary. My point is that it flies in the face of all technical conventional reasoning and still works. I don't think they could have come up with anything better if they had spent the time and money based on all subsequent evidence. It's a technically terrible classic.

I thought of another one for my Most Heinous Top 40: "Lay Down (Candles In the Rain)" by Melanie. Once, while tripping on acid, I tried to crawl out the window of a moving car when it came on the radio.

picking back up with the S's, still trying to lay off the obvious, like novelty records or teen idol cash-ins, not to mention earlier mentioned errggh perennials...

Laugh At Me-Sonny Bono--maybe the first time, okay, but for me it quickly devolved into "Grimace At Me".

Da Ya Think I'm Sexy-Rod Stewart--this was probably reamed thoroughly on the errggh thread but I can't recall now. Four weeks at number one?! As Sue said about another record, what were we, as a nation, thinking? I think about throwing up when it comes on, both then and now.

High On You, The Search Is Over, & Burning Heart-Survivor--does anyone remember these top tens in the wake of "Eye Of The Tiger"? I can't but I'm still willing to bet the farm that they stink. Really bad.

Talk Back Trembling Lips-Johnny Tillotson--read my steady lips, Johnny, this and your other three top ten records were insipid at best.

Swearin' To God-Frankie Valli--is if he weren't already in danger of going to hell for this mawkish travesty.

I know I'm supposed to take 'em down one by one instead of a blanket assessment of a singers' entire output, but I must at least briefly state: Bobby Vinton, Branson Missouri was created for you; what a perfect fit, hope you're happy, please remain there.

OK here's one that I don't get that other folks seem to like: Eddie Holman's "Hey There Lonely Girl". I've heard him sing other stuff in his natural voice and he sounds fine, but his falsetto just does nothing (good) for me. This track was huge, but to this day I don't get it. Nice arrangement, though.

Hey Kev, I forgot about the leased Caddy that Henry Stone gave George McRae as a present for the multi million selling "Rock Your Baby".A friend that worked for TK told me that to top it off they gave Gwen McRae a gold "Painted" Rocking Chair!!! I understand about not liking the song...its just amazing how good the Blossoms were and why they got so much studio work.They could sing & sound how the producer wanted them to.

John, I have to say I think that Tillotson's "Poetry In Motion" is a decent pop record, especially in the context of the early '60s.

I don't understand how Melanie ever sold ANY records. MHC, I agree with you... I've always felt that a lot of Led Zep is overblown, pretentious crap... "Stairway" ranks right up there at the top of the Zeppelin garbage heap.

Any song with lyrics like "... on my own again ..." is woefully cliche-ridden and self-absorbed (those qualities seemed to be hallmarks of the '70s and '80s, didn't they?). REO Speedwagon had one of those... can't think of the title right now, though.

The lyrics to most of America's songs ("... ain't no one for ta give ya no pain...") are absurd. They have to be a private joke to the writers; no one could actually think that stuff is truly profound.

65memories: Come on, "Surfin' Bird" and its wonderfully muddy production is a garage classic! Love it!

Wally Bryson's guitar parts is what make Eric Carmen's rocker songs sound so good. The intro to Go All The Way is all Bryson's but he couldn't get any songwriting credit. I'm guessing the same goes for Tonight and Ecstasy. And those chord inversions are really hard to play right.

HEY KEN: I *PROMISE* YOU...THAT IF YOU SEE EDDIE HOLMAN PERFORM "LONELY GIRL" ON THE LAST "SOUL" PBS SPECIAL...THAT YOU WILL FOREVER CHANGE YOUR OPINION OF THAT SONG...AS WELL AS EDDIE'S PERFORMANCE OF IT!!!...I PROMISE!!!...STU

Hi 65Memories! What about an answering record to Napoleon - I'm Normal by Emperor. That was Bob Hudson of Hudson & Landry.

Hi Scratcher! Do you know approximately, when George McCrae passed away. Still a few years ago in Joel Whitburn's Billboard list books (r&b and soul etc.) it was said that he had died, but as far as I know he toured Britain still a couple of years ago. I may be mistaken. Best regards Heikki

You may be right Stu, but I still won't like the record. When I was a kid, my little sister had a Shaun Cassidy record with him doing "Hey There Lonely Girl", so I also know that it can get a lot worse.

Yes, we've all heard it, but my sentiments exactly on goldsboro. I remember all those stupid 80s tunes like Everybody Wang-Chung tonight (whatever that means), Take on me, I ran (I ran so far away), Rock Me Amadeus, anything by milli-vanilli. I Honestly Love You--Olivia Newton John

I know it won a Grammy and its played to death on the radio stations, but the Dixie Chicks have no business doing a classic Fleetwood Mac tune---even making it country. OOHH PPLLEEAASSEE someone just drop the radio when they play that song.

) "I Can't Fight This Feeling" by REO Speedwagon- what did I ever do to deserve having to hear this record? 4) "Babe" by Styx- ditto. >>>

Marshall I agree with you (Genius that you are) anything by these two groups deserves a kick in the behind.

Emerson Lake and Palmer!!! "Welcome my friends to the show that never ends...LOL"""""""""" Fanfare for the Common Man>>>LOL These guys are so overrated its incredible.. The only thing they did I cared for was Lucky Man and their rendition of Peter Gunn.oh well folks like this overblown mess the Moody Blues did it in a much better fashion and Procol Harum. Stephanie

Let's not forget Rita Coolidge's spineless remakes of "The Way You Do the Things You Do" and "Higher and Higher". Those records have been a pet peeve of mine for years, especially considering how great the originals were. On second thought, we *should* try to forget them!

Sorry about that. I still had that old erroneous newspaper account of George McCrae's death on my mine. A company that feeds celebrity news to the media reported George McCrae died from cancer in 1986. The company confused him with the actor/singer Gordon McRae.

IN THE SEVENTIES SOME LADY RECORDED A REMAKE OF JACKIE WILSON'S "YOUR LOVE IS LIFTING ME HIGHER". FORGIVE ME FOR NOT KNOWING WHO RECORDED IT BUT IT WAS THE BIGGEST WASTE OF VINYL EVER. HORRIBLE LIFELESS VOCAL. IF YOU CAN'T DO IT BETTER DON'T DO IT.....PLEASE!!!!

Just gotta say, how much I always loved that one particular Bobby Goldboro record, which became a 'BIG' (Motor City) "KEENER" hit in 1965, "LITTLE THINGS".

That little (lead) guitar 'rift' you might have heard in Bobby Goldsboro's "LITTLE THINGS", (you'll notice it immediately in the opening of the song), well, that (rather similar) guitar 'rift' was heard on another hit record (previously) made by Roy Orbison in his (1964) smash hit, "OH, PRETTY WOMEN."

The same lead guitarist in "LITTLE THINGS" was also heard on the guitar in "PRETTY WOMEN" just the same--yes, and that was BOBBY GOLDSBORO!

LOL - It wasnt their fault though, My aunt played that song on a rainy day an estimated 39 times in a row!!! It made us go outside during a rainstorm!! We had to hide the 45 because it grated our nerves so badly. I cant listen to that damned song to this day!!!

LOL!!! 20 years later and she still plays that damned song!! We have to go over there every once in a while and we know whats coming!! I mean damn!!! "ya must be a speciaall ladaaayyy!" I cant take it AHHHHHHHHHAAHHHHHH!!!!

Stepahine: Good call on that David Geddes tune!! I always though that was David Cassidy!! That song is too dramatic and its very broawayish, too much for the kid.

My Ding a Ling is a great song..

worst songs...

any songs by Ashanti (really good call Mr. Eli) Ice Ice Baby-Vanilla Ice Oh Mickey-Toni Basil anything by Reo Speedwagon (its funny cuz I like Air Supply..) that one song by Chris Issacs Lady In Red- (the name escapes me) Dancing On The Ceiling- Lionel Ritchie I Need Love-LL Cool J (its the first rap ballad but still...) anything by "hair" bands

LOL: someone mentioned Jealous Guy!! I thought I was the only one who noticed that!!LOL!! There also a part when he goes: I luuuuu(crack, crack)uuuvv yoooo his voice literally cracks in the middle of the song. I do like that song for its honesty though.

Thanx Kev!! Wow, my hat goes off to you for playing that song and during graveyard too?? thats called courage.

What a Feeling-Irene Cara Maniac-Micheal Sembello She Works Hard For The Money-Donna Summer Hot,Hot,Hot-Buster Poindexter Gloria-Laura Brannigan Nuetron Dance-Pointer Sisters Lets Hear It For The Boy-Denise Williams