this is the first time for me, really. so naturally, my entire being isn’t sure how to react. the last two days i’ve been having mixed emotions and my mind’s been thinking a lot. past, present or even future. can’t believe it or can’t accept it, i couldn’t really tell the difference. lots of ‘what if’s have been lingering too. i guess it’s just the irrational behaviour under a rational circumstance. is it just someone passing on? no. or is it someone special passing on? not sure. all these afterthoughts probably don’t mean much now. all i can confess is that i miss her. but then again, i might not have felt it if nothing has happened. so it’s the same own cliché, right? appreciate who you have now before a sudden departure arrives.

any comfort from this? not sure too. oh, perhaps, or most definitely, yes. she’s with Him now.

since c.s. is away and has given me every opportunity to post anything, i have decided to post a haiku a day until he returns. (i might still put up something else along the way.) these are translated writings done by one of the great japanese masters, Matsuo Bashō. Lucien Stryk did all the translations. enjoy reading!

have you ever met someone (in person or not) whom you hardly know and yet somehow feel connected with him/her? it seems like you have known him/her long enough for you to be able to communicate with him/her. you think you could understand this person and the needs. and this person has exactly the same sentiments towards you. this sense of belonging, i reckon, often emerges because gaps exist in our lives. i strongly believe that every one of us, no matter how successful we are, has some gaps in our lives that yearn to be filled. hence, when someone comes along in our lives, this sense of belonging surfaces. perhaps, this also reflects our lack of contentment in our own lives, a phenomenon that often occurs.

so what do we do when this someone appears? do we start building a relationship? do we maintain communicating with this person at the acquaintance level? or do we even bother doing anything?

it’s the wee hours in the morning and i’m no longer sure if i’m sane when writing this post.

Cave Blogem over at Pretty Good on Paper had done several analysis on words used in the blogging community. I had volunteered my blog and he had kindly done some study on my humble lodge here. Amazingly he discovered that I had managed to churn out some 682 new words to his database so far. How he did his analysis or study, I can never fully comprehend. But I have already thanked him profusely for the hard work done.

From his sample of words (and blogs), these are words which only I have used so far:

And here’s how they are compared to his sample of blogs:

He even has his Haiku-generating algorithm. The words are mine, according to him. The arrangement is supposedly almost purely mechanical.

Woeful on the oak,
germs of a paroxysm
recover midfield.

Cave Blogem

If you would like to be a volunteer for his study, please go over there and let him know. I’m sure he’ll be glad to help you.

By the way, Atyllah the Hen is leaving Earth. I think I am sad about it. So if you feel the same way, please go persuade her and tell her that we, the weaklings on Earth, need her mighty power to sustain us. Go, quick!