Women’s Unrealistic Online Standards Are Like Ice Cream

[T]his is a trend I’ve noticed online, women who are QUITE comfortable with dating someone a handful of years younger but do NOT want anyone more than a few years older than they. What accounts for this trend? I mean, you could meet a 28 year old fat dude, or a 40 year old paleo-hardened guy who looks young. Why pre-emptively discount age like that? Most women I’ve met prefer someone same age or older.

I don’t know how widespread women’s aping of men’s standards in online ads is, because I don’t do online dating (at least not recently). However, from what I’ve read about the subject, most women’s preferences in online ads is for men older than they are; which makes sense, since age is a status marker for men in a way it isn’t for women. But assuming for the sake of argument that there is a small but growing contingent of cougars explicitly seeking younger men in what amounts to a mirror image of the universal trend for men to seek younger women, I believe I have an explanation.

First, keep in mind that it doesn’t matter what women demand in online ads, because outrageous standards that are far removed from reality are quickly weeded out of contention, leaving such delusional women sad and alone in real life. A lot of loser women who do the online thing subconsciously know they aren’t going to get laid by the man of their dreams, so they throw all reason and sobriety to the wind and just go hog wild laundry listing their fantasy criteria. For these women (admittedly greater in number now than every before in Western history), it’s more about ego catharsis than about actually meeting a man. ASCII therapy with a public audience of like-minded Medusas one-upping each other to the top of the entitlement heap.

Happily punching in a feverish list of ridiculous expectations in an online ad is the emotional equivalent of plopping in front of the TV (all shows cater to women except ‘Mythbusters’ and sports) and wolfing down a tub of ice cream. Feels SOOOOO good, even if it’s SOOOO bad for her health, looks and love life. Kinda makes a tidy little metaphor for civilizational decline.

Second, the few cougars who aren’t ugly, ragged or grossly obese but who left their prime years far behind in a haze of drunken binges and cock hopping, will sometimes recognize, on a primal level, that their odds of getting a good (read: high value, sort of charmingly dickish) man of the type they pined for at age 20 to commit to them in a loving long-term relationship are very low, and that their efforts are best spent putting out for horny younger men who will at least offer a short term thrill in the sack. This phenomenon — of older woman transforming into clitorally turgid quasi-men — is not common, certainly not nearly as common as the media would have you believe. But they do exist, and you can be pretty sure that most of them could cut glass with their jaws and suffocate small dogs with their jungly, frosted pube patches. Do note, as well, that as women age their testosterone levels rise in step with their lowered expectations, making the prospect of loveless one night stands more palatable to their still feminine egos.

Let’s just say that these horncat cougars are not exactly the sorts of women older men with options want at all, and they aren’t the sorts of women younger men with no options want for more than a few no muss no fuss bangs in which to drain their aching teen balls. Because younger men, just like older men, prefer the exquisite intimacies of young women. Cougars probably know this on some deep supraegotistical level, so they respond to their constrained sexual market choices by pretending to prefer the company of younger men when in reality all they’re trying to do is avoid the soul crushing loneliness that would inevitably result if they adhered to the standards of their real desires and had to face the brutal and merciless cruelty of the sexual market head on.

Women never really lose the ability to extrapolate a one night stand into some fantastical dramatic relationship story arc, so a cougar having a couple of perfunctory fucks with an indiscriminately horny college student in a dating slump can sometimes mean the difference for her between having the will to live for another day and resigning herself to gardening and obesity. It’s not an avenue most older single women are willing to take, but for a few desperate specimens with male-like sex drives and bodies that haven’t yet gone completely to shit, it beats suddenly and unceremoniously being dumped into the invisible fringes of forgotten wastelands. At least for a few more years.

I must agree with the reader who submitted the message on this trend. Take a look at online dating sites and you’ll definitely see that the c*nts are extended the lower age limit down. It’s quite prevalent to see the cougar whorebags looking for guys 10+ years younger, but even “regular” women seem to have a trend where they’re after guys within the range of 3-5 years younger than them and 5-7 years older.

Tony D’s experience really is the norm for online dating. The younger bitches will ignore quite a bit of the messages and you’ll get tons of messages from 1-5 level hogs. It’s a complete waste of time.

There was a thread of comments a few weeks ago on this. Older men, younger women. Somebody said, could have been CH, that the most important thing to make it happen on a regular basis with younger girls is preselection by the younger girl’s social circle. If I understood it correctly, if her friends seem to “approve” of you, and/or you’re already seen to be attractive to another young girl she sees.

I’ve got to believe anything is possible. Surely until age 45 as a man, at least, with 18-21 chicks.

Certainly your competition – younger guys — become more clownish each passing year. Look at younger guys these days, they are unemployed toolboxes. Sure, a select few will discover game and develop into solid men. But on the whole, you’ve got a generation of truly loser guys – the girls have more education, and more money. How much attraction could there be?

Do younger chicks really take this generation of younger guys seriously? Its hard for me to believe.

An older guy brings so much more to the table

Hard to believe these younger girls will not stray more and more for the few, select higher status guys in their periphery. And AGE is a marker of high status to a younger girl.

Now whether or not a particular younger chick gets this message about you, that you’re worth taking a chance on her, this is the hard part, I think.
You have to make it happen

Agree. OTOH, when a site mistakenly shows me profiles of lesbians and their headlines shriek “NO MEN!” I tend to believe them out of fear of perforated eardrums should I add to their rage.

Some sites actually let chicks enforce their shit lists (i.e. if you’re outside her demanded age range you can’t send her a message). This is about as bright as telling your toddler it’s okay for him to play with his own dumps. And somehow, hacking the site to send a message anyway just doesn’t seem as alpha.

I have this sick fetish for girls I can actually have a conversation with, so a smart 25yo is about as young as I’d want to go. I can’t screw every 20 minutes any more and meanwhile what do you talk to an 18yo about?

A woman posting her pic down here in the commentration camp = fearless. Standing O for you. And: brace yourself.

This will be a good experiment in personality attraction. (“Her appetite for Drop Out makes her a rock-solid 9.5.” [WTF is Drop Out?]) Heartiste thinks factors other than physical makes up 5% of female attractiveness. I think it’s more around 40-50.

I’d have thought that the issue is that older men you find on dating sites are likely to be low quality than younger men. While any individual man may be higher quality at 40 than at 25, the average quality of single men drops dramatically over that period. The few high-quality 40-year-old super-bachelors out there have probably got their game refined to the point where they have no need to use dating sites. All you’re left with are the dregs and the divorcees. There’s only one George Clooney, and he doesn’t use okcupid.

Also, for young women, being hit on by a low-quality older man just feels weird and creepy compared to being hit on by a low-quality man of your own age.

[heartiste: that’s a legit point. but i’d expand it and note that men in general of all ages are likely to be lower quality on an online site (PUAs excepted!). anyhow, it’s mostly academic; like another commenter said, women may say one thing in an online ad, but when you meet them out in real life, they often act a very different way. cougars aren’t flying to online sites because it’s a bounty of acceptable dick; rather, they’re RETREATING to those sites because no one of any value pays them a single look in the real world.]

I’d guess most of these women have already been married once and divorced when the sex stopped. The sex probably stopped because the poor beta sap she married lost interest in porking an obnoxious cow. Chances are she doesn’t know why the sex stopped since no sane beta male would tell her, “Yes dear, I still like sex, but not with YOU”, so she chalked it up to sexual dysfunction on his part. Now that she’s collected his house and retirement she’s free to start a new sex life completely blind to her loss of market value.

I should have heeded your warning, Laconophile. But I just couldn’t leave well enough alone, so I read part two. And now I have no balls. They’re gone… both of them. I look like a G.I. Joe.

In all seriousness, though, I literally cannot wrap my head around what I’ve just read about Glee. It’s one of those things in which you become fully aware that your life was better—more innocent—before you knew about it.

A trend I noticed from a very brief visit to online sites.
Many late 20 to mid 30 year old (sorry guys that’s my target age) women w/out children, said they loved their nephews/nieces, family life was important to them etc. a great day would be hanging w/ their brother’s kids and parents at a barbeque. I read that often enough to note the trend and
TRANSLATION Ostensibly they were looking for a man, but not a lover nor a husband nor to start their own family, What they really wanted was -wait for it- a brother! to play with and chum w/ their sibling’s families.
How sick is that?
That explains to me why these still desirable women are single and visiting such sites. I am an old dog but I learned quick to stay away from both.

We “old dogs” should just avoid online dating completely; we NEVER get past the age prejudice with our targets (half our age plus seven). Meet out in the wild instead, impress them with your manly ways, game the hell out of them, disarm them with contrast, et cetera – you’ll get girls who wouldn’t give your online profile a second glance.

I am the reader who posted the comment that’s the subject of discussion here. Let me elaborate a bit more. Not all of the women posting these age ranges are themselves worn-out cougars. I’ve been surprised by the women who are mid-20s who are (ostensibly) cool with dating a younger man, and draw some kind of hard line a mere 4 years away from their own age. In real life, I’ve met girls that don’t care but I have met some that do, even for someone like me who looks really young. I have not done much online dating of late because it’s been unnecessary and wastes time and you meet women who, sometimes are cute, but have strange issues beyond even the barsluts you meet out when approaching IRL.

[heartiste: i haven’t seen any trend like this in real life, but i can’t speak for online since i dont do that. i wouldn’t worry about it. most chicks drop their criteria in a real world context.]

I have a personal theory about this. I don’t necessarily think that women are drawn to older or younger men exactly so much as they are drawn to men “of a certain age,” which in this case is somewhere between 25 and 40. So, if a woman is older than 25, she appears to like younger men, and if she is younger than 40 she appears to like older men, when if fact, it is just an age range that is attractive, much like you men have your own preferred age range.

[heartiste: nah. single women in their 30s routinely date upper 40s and 50s men. happens all the time. sex ratio explains some of it. desire for older men explains some. through family, i know a couple divorced dudes in their late 50s who are dating women in their early 30s. marrying? no. but dating and fucking? yes. and that’s all that matters to men, particularly men of that age who don’t want to go through the wringer again.]

Online dating is non-sense since women always put down what doesn’t interest them in the least, and will not admit to themselves what gets their juices flowing. This is why meeting women in person is the key – they have no control over what they find attractive. As a man pushing 50 I regularly hit it with the 18-25 year olds.

Online – I doubt any would respond. In person, they end up in my bed, of course they are usually playing the “good girl” with the idiots their own age who still follow them around hoping to get some. They never will, because it’s guys like me that are keeping those little girls happy.

“…it’s more about ego catharsis than about actually meeting a man. ASCII therapy with a public audience of like-minded Medusas one-upping each other to the top of the entitlement heap.”

Correct. And this applies across the board for ALL women, of all SMV and varying demographics who engage in online dating.

For women, online dating is essentially an infinite supply of positive ego stroking. An on-demand array of dynamic ASCII content customized in response to a projected description of her desires and can be perpetuated and regenerated by her at will. An overwhelming amount of instant attention and validation is standing by at her fingertips. It’s better than ice cream, and even more unhealthy. It only compounds the delusional entitlement she already has sending her inner hypergamous reactor closer to melt down.

I use online game to suppliment my cold approach rotation prospects. Aware that I’m showing no modesty here: I’m exceptional at it. I expend very little time and effort with a very high success rate and quality yield. Although online game will never hold a candle to cold approach PU/seduction, IMO the correct combination of both creates an abundance of consistent pussy and adapts nicely for a working professional.

For insecure women of avg SMV (~6 & ~7 particularly) they mend their weak ego by taking advantage of beta men by the dozen for free dinners, drinks and attention. They literally line up dates, one after another, week after week while chasing and/or cock carouselling alphas during the same time frame.

Why?
1) makes them “feel better”
2) beta men enable it, so they can
3) low risk of social network discovering her polyamory

I’ve encountered a lot of women who have used men thus (they may not even feel they are “using” them) and am glad to see I’m not the only one who finds it morally repugnant. This circular dating seems only to exist to fill a void in their lives that would be better addressed with personal or spiritual growth.

and lets not forget faceook, which allows women the socially acceptable shield of general social networking and communication to cultivate a harem of pathetic beta orbiters who she can systematically pump for ego and self assurance with complete plausible deniability.

“Feels SOOOOO good, even if it’s SOOOO bad for her health, looks and love life.”

Same could be said for your blog …😦

[heartiste: incorrect. this blog will improve your life love if you will open your mind to it. (and probably your looks and health too) instead, you want to believe the sexual market doesn’t exist, or that it follows feminist law. the betas of the world — and they are in the great majority — often do toe the feminist line — getting married to aging crones and settling for has-beens who will always dream of the alpha cock of their youth — are proof positive that a sexual market drapes over humanity like a mold. you need look no further than men who have options — such as famous actors — to see how quickly and efficiently they sort by older man-much younger woman pairings.
now for you, i’d suggest you get your cherry popped pronto. because a virgin at your age has no idea how the real world works. you see everything through virgin colored glasses, and that is why you are alone.]

“instead, you want to believe the sexual market doesn’t exist, or that it follows feminist law.”

Me? No.

[heartiste: yes]

“now for you, i’d suggest you get your cherry popped pronto. because a virgin at your age has no idea how the real world works. you see everything through virgin colored glasses, and that is why you are alone.”

That’s a very bad advice. You really think I’d be happier if I just had sex pronto,

[yes]

most likely with some random uninspiring man?

[have you given serious thought to what you bring to the table?]

I think it’s way more important to first find someone who will make me feel safe.

[safe men tend to be uninspiring men. unless you are a 10, you will have to pare back your demands to a more realistic level.]

As a sex addict you’re probably unable to understand what I’m talking about.

[no such thing as sex addiction. but please do go on and tell the world about all the alpha males you know who happily and freely chose to marry aging frumps. for the sarcasm-impaired: there is little chance in hell maya has very many alpha males in her social circle.]

First, keep in mind that it doesn’t matter what women demand in online ads, because outrageous standards that are far removed from reality are quickly weeded out of contention, leaving such delusional women sad and alone in real life.

Don’t forget gentlemen, when it comes to online dating, women are all looking for their Prince.

As a sligthly older male (32) I’ve only had great success with online dating to find younger women. If a college girl is searching online, it is because she is seeking better, more alpha dudes than she finds at university and frat parties. Even if her profile puts a maximum age, good writing/email and a hamster turning profile takes care of that. I just recently nabbed a 22 year old even after she gave me the old “my father wouldn’t approve of me seeing a man 10 years my senior” test.

As one poster said, the effort to success ratio online is astounding if you know what you are doing.

I’d actively DISCOURAGE guys from doing online dating. You’re at a huge disadvantage because every woman gets hundreds of emails. It’ll be nearly impossible to stand out. I know “looks don’t matter” but all the bitches generally see is your picture with your email message, so unless both are spot-on, your message is getting trashed. Getting turned down by 6-7s on this thing will really discourage a guy and losing confidence like that is NOT something that a person should have to go through.

I’ve only received one response from 23-25 year olds when the age topic came up: “so?” You’re NOT going to get that online.

One thing is for sure – 95% of all the unsolicited messages you’ll get from women on these sites are from 56 year-old tattooed grandmothers or grossly obese landwhales. Almost a waste of time reading them (but I enjoy the comedy value). When it comes to unrealistic standards, this one girl’s profile was looking for a guy who was “tall, dark, athletic, very good-looking, sexy, successful and confident” but who was also “not big-headed or full of himself”. Yeah, good luck finding that combination, baby. Not that I haven’t made mistakes, of course:

`m a mature Argentine, where national sport i`snt futbol (soccer) but atraque (game) , since kindergarten it ist all i new, BTW for both gender. and the dammed word “macho” another manning ist. i`ts mean all fantasys and womans desire… the old and “dirty” word macho mean the same like “Alpha”. when woman say… he is a macho, it si the greates value proof for man, and she mine that way … Everyone nows “femme fatal”, fewer nows “l`homme fatal”…he is a blank “projection” on the Theater screen woman`s gina tingles…im sudamerica an 60 yo with 18 yo hottys are new from last milennia…BTW ” MAN says… there is no Man until 30yo…everything under that age are boys…”