Florida Gators Use Real Alligators Against Ohio State

Glendale, Arizona- The University of Florida used real alligators against Ohio State to win the biggest college football game of the year. The toothy reptiles would get a grip on their opponents ankles everytime they tried to run the ball and thus prevented the running game from happening and that in turn forced the opposing team to stay with the passing game.

On offense Florida used the gators to run the ball. The Ohio players were apparently not aware that an alligator can run as fast as a horse for short distances and it is not an easy thing to jump onto an angry gator determined to chew up his opponent.

Ohio state's coach complained to officials that sardine juice had been squirted onto the ankles of his offensive players and this had caused the alligators to chew on the player's ankles but no serious injuries were reported. It was reported though that one Ohio player was missing after a big pile up involving a large group of gators all over an Ohio player which was akin to seeing a hobo on a ham sandwich or a police sargent on a jelly doughnut.

On the Florida side of the line players were complaining that it was difficult to pat the gators on their rear ends after each play and this led to the shedding of more than one crocodile tear by the husky Florida team mates.

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