I love national celebration days. America has Halloween, Brazil the Carnaval in Rio, Ireland has Saint Patrick’s Day, Germany the Oktoberfest. And Australia has the Melbourne Cup.
From the moment the sun rises on Melbourne Cup Day people start acting a bit weird. Think of the movie “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” where folks are replaced with alien cloned replicas who behave totally out of character and you’ve pretty much got the picture. All across the country people walk straight up to total strangers and strike up lively conversations. This…

Ever since I was a kid I wanted an MG. A red one with a black soft-top. You know, with the goggle-eyed headlamps, the cheesy front grille, and the gunslinger spoke wheels. And so last September, after forty long years, I took the plunge and bought one. From the moment you slide down into the cockpit, after successfully completing a contortionist routine rivalling Cirque du Soleil, you know you’re in for an experience. To begin with, you’re low to the ground – your pet Dachshund is peering down at you…

One of my socks has vanished without a trace. Again. No matter how careful I am transferring the dirty laundry from the hamper into the washing machine I always end up with fewer socks than I started with. It’s never shirts or trousers or handkerchiefs mind you, only socks. I’ve been doing a bit of research on this.
The six-year-old girl next door tells me the socks are being snaffled by a gang of garden gnomes who wear them as beanies on their heads. The young lad who does…

My favourite reality TV star is the complete opposite of what successful performers are meant to look like – she is neither young nor glamorous and doesn’t wears skimpy outfits. In fact, when she auditioned on national TV in front of ten million viewers, she stood on stage with hands on hips, portly, frumpily dressed, sporting a mat of grey frizzy hair. At the time, she was forty-seven years old, unmarried, was an unemployed charity worker, and lived alone with her cat in a small village in Scotland. And…