Google Starts Guessing

Google has been rolling out its latest feature, Google Instant, to some pretty hilarious results. The new feature guesses what you are probably searching for, based on some top secret algorithm that God himself couldn’t figure out, but one can only assume has to do with the popularity of searches. But don’t worry. The search has been bowdlerized to avoid what may be the most common searches … sometimes.

So, if you’re looking for “Fun things to do with the kids on the weekend,” don’t worry about typing in FU and ending up with fun things you don’t want your kids doing this weekend, or perhaps even knowing about. And if you type in Paris, chances are it will focus on France rather than Hilton.

Could it be too much info? Could it be the kind of information overload that Bing warns about in its TV campaign? Is it wrong to guess randomly like that? Well, let’s type it in to Google and find out. “Is it wrong to …” The answers are popping up like mad. “Is it wrong to wear a rosary?” Probably, because I’m not Catholic, so the moral implications never really crossed my mind. “Is it wrong to sleep with your brother?” I don’t actually have brother, but I’m gonna give that a big yuck.

“Just kidding,” I begin to type in, not wanting my non-existent incestuous fantasies to become part of Google lore. “J … U … “ And Justin Bieber pops up. I’m going to have to give that another big yuck. Wondering where they came up with this idea, I decide to do some research. “Where d …” And of course, the search I wasn’t looking: “Where does Justin Bieber live?” pops up on my screen. What is this obsession with Justin Bieber, I wonder. “What is …” Uh oh. The answer popping up is “What is my IP address?” Could the feds be on to me for unknowingly stalking Justin Bieber?