Living, so the dead don't have to.
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Monday, November 18, 2013

birth, birthing and birthdays

Today is my mother's birthday.Which was always special. However, there was something pretty transformative in how I viewed birthdays when I had a child of my own.I am sure that it is something that draws some similar intensity from other mothers, especially to those of us who have always wanted to be a mom.I am completely in awe by the link that binds me to Squink, it seems magical, inspired, divine, intense, and a whole ton of other words that follow that notion. He is simultaneously an extension of myself and yet he is his own person. I feel such an intense responsibility for his being that it can be, at times, extremely overwhelming.But one of the B-sides to the intense awareness of the maternal bond is its reciprocity. The moment my son was born, I became acutely aware of my tie to my mother in a much deeper way. I assume, without fear of being wrong, that my mother wanted to be a mother, so I imagine that this lineage of mothers goes back to the beginning of mothers. I am sure some of them felt like it was too soon for them to be with babies, and perhaps even too late... but that deep abiding commitment to this being that is completely dependent on you has been going on to varying degrees of success (but success none the less) since I am a direct product of these women making choices to bring up these babies. This is the idea behind what my mother calls her rule of ten-thousand years.

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity.~ Eleanor Roosevelt

My mother

My mother imparted many wonderful gifts upon my brother and myself as she was raising us, mostly single-handedly. I think the one that has had the most impression on me is that of curiosity. It is a trait I value deeply in others, and try to foster within myself (at times to my detriment as some of my more recent posts may exhibit) and with Squink. He gets very excited about learning certain things.

So, I like to imagine I come from a long line of curious women with a dedication to raising our offspring as best we can.

In terms of success, mom... I couldn't as for more from Squink so I would think you have done well.