One fully negotiated, but unused, Brexit arrangement. Available with optional 'backstop'. Comes with a firm, but potentially flexible, use by date of October 2019. Has been described as 'Marmite favoured' by Cliché magazine. One careful lady owner - who always struggled to get it started. It has been offered three times already but sadly failed to generate any interest, hence the price drop.

The current owner is looking to retire but assures any potential buyer that it will only take a superficial name change to, say, the 'Boris bill' to ensure that it is eagerly accepted at a 4th and please god, final time of asking.

No time wasters Please - you know who you are!

If interested contact -Theresa, at 10 Downing Street, London. Note- mail will be forwarded on in the unlikely event of Theresa leaving no. 10.

Note - number and location of airports not stated. Also, please be aware the airports might be entirely imaginary - the product of an infantile intellect - so please take this into consideration when bidding.

The Catholic Church is offering this little used Commandment at a bargain price of £200 or the equivalent in necter points. A spokesman for the Vatican said "It has mainly been used in recent times in boundary fence disputes and is no longer considered relevant to today's dynamic 'God light' organisation".

One of a set of 10 this Commandment is described as perfect for revamping with a little work into an anti-trolling edict. If this sale is successful the Church may well make other Commandments available whilst re wording the ones it keeps towards being more advisory than prescriptive. For instance "Thou shalt not commit adultery." Is being changed to "It's OK to diddle the sister in law, but don't post the pics on Reddit."

Harvey for sale. Katie Price has outgrown her son stating he is too big for her to manage , hence he's up for sale. May swap for a small cute self maintaining one, with a proven track records at attracting the paparazzi.

Wanting to swap well paid, cushy job as MEP in the European parliament for similar in UK house of commons or would accept position as British Ambassador to USA.In the first instance contact N Farage c/o EU Gravy Train, Brussels. Note - don't usually work Monday to Friday or weekends.

Wanting to swap well paid, cushy job as MEP in the European parliament for similar in UK house of commons or would accept position as British Ambassador to USA.In the first instance contact N Farage c/o EU Gravy Train, Brussels. Note - don't usually work Monday to Friday or weekends.