Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Who is Vera? Vera is my little buddy that lives three houses up, on the same side. We became friends beneath unconventional circumstances. Vera was let-go, laid-off, canned, whatever, just minutes after I calfed Yahoo #1. Since we were both newly unemployed, we'd hang. Every day, around 4:00pm, I'd wander up and lay my colic-ey cub beneath her flowering cherry tree. Vera, armed with her cocktail of choice and I with a diet Sprite, would sit there -- just like a couple of porch monkeys. To this day Stu Pidasso (Vera's not-so-better half) calls me the "Drinkin' Buddy."

Vera saved The Rabid from that post pardum depression thing. She's a great distraction. (Incidentally, the post pardum came back when Vera found another job.)

Speaking of distractions, April Fool's Day is fast approaching. I'm currently on year six of the five-year-fool-the-Vera plan. The first year, I kidnapped her awful (awesome) Kentucky Derbyish hat and delivered a ransom note that demanded a 12-pack of diet coke in exchange. The second year was a yard full of home-made pink flamingos. The only thing more white-trash and tacky than a pink flamingo is a home-made pink flamingo. The third year was 80 or so 10-inch cardboard cutouts of yours truly, strategically placed in Vera's cupboards, closets and whatnot. The fourth year was the attack of Jeff Gordon, wherein thousands of Jeff Gordan sticky notes and 4x6 glossies, were stuck every which where. The fifth year was the Lost Extravaganza.

Which brings us to year six.

Wouldn't you know, Vera has decided to be gone for this holy of all holy holidays. She's going to Moab to drive her jeep. Gay. So maybe the joke of year six is that she gets no joke. Hah! That'll show her.

(But if any of you out there have an irresistible joke/gag, by all means, drop me a line at TheRabidRunner [at] gmail.com. Um... don't leave a comment, because... you know...she's been known to visit here from time-to-time.)

Now we shall move on to this week's Tuesday Tunes -- which are inspired by those who departed in March. New this month, Vera has so thoughtfully provided us with how these artists actually did the departing. Enjoy.