Well I realized that sometimes this is one of the hardest things for women to understand because for some reason society has dumbed down men so much that the thought is that s.ex for men is just some simple on/off switch that doesn’t need to be handled with any care or connection. While se.x is highly physical for men, the more mature a man becomes, the more there seems to be to his se.xual story. So, here are a few reasons he may NOT be having s.ex with you.

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1. He’s lost his confidence

For many men, s.ex is all about confidence. If we feel like we are satisfying you then we will want to keep doing it. On flipside, if we sense s.ex with us is just another task for you, or if you are not engaged and come across as more worried about us finishing so that you can get to choir practice, then, sometimes our confidence goes out the window.Ladies, I know you think that for us it is all about an orgasm but trust me when I tell you a man wants to satisfy his wife. Fellas, if your confidence is wavering, are you willing to have that vulnerable and open conversation about why that’s so? Are you willing to let your wife know what’s going on instead of just becoming distant or seeking other women to satisfy that confidence boost? Hmmmm.

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For many men, s.ex is all about confidence. If we feel like we are satisfying you then we will want to keep doing it. On flipside, if we sense s.ex with us is just another task for you, or if you are not engaged and come across as more worried about us finishing so that you can get to choir practice, then, sometimes our confidence goes out the window.Ladies, I know you think that for us it is all about an orgasm but trust me when I tell you a man wants to satisfy his wife. Fellas, if your confidence is wavering, are you willing to have that vulnerable and open conversation about why that’s so? Are you willing to let your wife know what’s going on instead of just becoming distant or seeking other women to satisfy that confidence boost? Hmmmm.

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A reticent, kind, male patient who struggled with low libido finally opened up about three aspects of his libido: One part was an awkward teenager who felt anxious about initiating. A second part was a 20-something, feminist male who thought s.ex was degrading for women. The third aspect—a caveman—was horny and hungry for s.ex. He said that the first two characters always outvoted the blatant needs of the third and so he remained silent with his wife about his desire. She listened in awe as her usually quiet husband revealed his complexity, later asking if just once she might have se.x with his caveman.

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Just like anything in a relationship or in life, what you focus on is what will grow. If you both get too busy for one another for an extended amount of time, it becomes difficult to just turn on the intimacy switch. Maybe you became engulfed with work and the kids. Maybe he has made his new project or organization a huge priority. In the midst of all of this, the shift in energy caused some emotional division. Nevertheless, you both have to be conscious of what’s happening and then go back to making s.ex and intimacy a priority. The longer you let it go, the harder it will be to get it back.

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When men are passionately involved with their careers, they can sublimate s.exual excitement that would normally be directed toward their wives. The accolades, money and ego boost from being regularly praised, or promoted, can be a turn-on.

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Yes this affects some men more than others. Men are visual creatures – we are designed this way by God. Now most men can handle the natural aging process women go through with their breasts sagging and them getting love handles and bellies. Our bodies change with age and the majority of men accept these realities. But there are extremes on this issue on both sides. Some men are constantly prompting their wives to get cosmetic surgeries in an attempt for their bodies to continue to look like that of a twenty year old and that is ridiculous. However we do have the other extreme where a wife let’s her body go and she gets massively obese. Let me just speak truth into your lives ladies – while there are a few men that will find obese woman attractive, the vast majority of men will not.

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