05-09-2016Hogspore Community News By Clet Litter as told to Bob Simpson Celebrating Mother’s Day in Hogspore

The report has a religious theme this week. I apolergize. I’ll try to give the Devil his due next week.

Yesterday was Mother’s Day. We had my mother over for dinner, which is somewhat of a treat for my wife, Punkin. I can’t write that without sounding a might sarcastic.

Punkin is probably just jealous cause Momma Litter is still alive and kicking whilst Punkin’s mother died a while back. She did say, “Clet, I sure wish your momma could enjoy Heaven as much as my momma is enjoying it ... right now.”

Mumford Pickens told me he had a disturbing dream. “Clet, I dreamed it was the year 2216. I had stopped by City Hall. I saw a sign on the door ‘Closed for the Hollerday.’

I asked a man walking by, ‘I didn’t know it was a hollerday. What day are we celerbrating?’

He said, ‘You shouldn’t be asking that kinda question in 2216. You’re gonna get us both in trouble. I’ll tell you, but don’t look at me and don’t talk to me anymore.’

He looked around and then he whispered, ‘It’s St. Trump’s Day.”’

It was National Prayer Day last Thursday. I thought I heard Jimmy Suspenders whisper off a prayer asking for a loving and understanding spouse.

Right then, a loud voice come from the clouds, “Jimmy Suspenders. Verily,I have already bestowed upon you a loving and understanding wife.”

The voice sounded like something out of the Old Testament. It continued. “Thou needs to cease performing as if thou were a Schmuck.”

This column donates its proceeds and joins with the Columbus News-Report’s own continuing support of our troops.

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