Jon Rombach is a writer and river guide headquartered in Oregon's Wallowa Valley. His newspaper column, 'And Furthermore,' appears in the Wallowa County Chieftain. The Gearboat Chronicles cover life on the river, updated every week at windingwatersrafting.com. Publications include Utne Reader, Backpacker, Sports Afield, Mother Earth News and other fine, upstanding journals you may or may not have ever heard of.

Friday, March 19, 2010

A gas leak blew the knobs off the last propane stove I had in my kitchen. The mini explosion also lifted the rings off the burners and caused ringing in my ears. Too bad, since it was an ultra-cool appliance from the 50’s. I hated to take it to the scrap pile in the sky but blowing up is a feature I decided just wasn’t worth it.

So I’ve been using a free stove I loaded up from some stranger’s driveway. It wasn’t pretty, but worked. Now I have a pretty one again. New. Snazzy. And the free stove is going back into the universe from whence it came. Thanks, free stove, for your service. You heated water and baked things with the best of them. Now you can continue to roam the earth, preparing meals for other people. Godspeed.

So I’ve plopped the old one under the spruce tree at the end of my driveway. The giving tree, I’ll call it from now on. Or the giving away tree, I guess. Swing by and load the thing up. The price is firm and no matter how hard you haggle with me, I will not budge from free. Because, frankly, I don’t want to help load it up. You’re on your own there. Please, no need to come to the house. Free is free. Enjoy it, whoever you are.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

And here we have photographic proof that I am the finest fisherman in all the world.

I caught this one with my hands and got all Mr. Miyagi because normal fishing tactics make me yawn. That flyrod in the background was left lying on the bank by some random dude. I don’t know what his deal was.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Pursuing steelhead really isn’t my bag. I don’t care for being cold and have a short attention span. Also I’m not a very good fisherman. So. There’s that.

However. Yesterday on the Wallowa River these things didn’t matter. The sun came up, I couldn’t help but catch fish and it was an everlovin’ blast.

Caught six. Two males and four wild females. Broke two more off. Lost track of how many whitefish I caught. A bonanza.

Didn’t start out that way. Note the ice buildup on the guides of my fly rod. And you can’t see it in the photo, but my feet were not working at the time, having iced over from wading in thirty-six degree water.

Gearboat Chronicles has a few more shots and details about riding the fish train. Met a state senator on board and also a guy who runs a blog for Field & Stream. More on that later.

Monday, March 1, 2010

I’m getting a full-blown boatyard. First the sweet Star Craft I grew up being towed behind, water funneled into my nose trying to get up on water skis. Then I got custody of dad’s old cataraft, which was traded for a 26-foot sailboat…in perhaps the sweetest deal to ever grace a bill of sale.

And now I’m presented with this little number. The mermaid does not come with it. Nor the pile of sand. But it’s a cute rapscallion of a watercraft and belongs to a friend who wants it to belong to someone else. I think that someone else might be me.

I will have the first boatyard in landlocked northeast Oregon, or go broke trying.

Updates: subject of this week’s Chieftain column is Chuck Fraser’s tie from the Thrift Store Formal. Read all about it by depressing the mouse feature above that link to your right.

Further update: I am drinking water in the photo to be found at this week’s Gearboat Chronicles. Not beer, as has been suggested. I was on driving duty. That’s tap water. And I normally wouldn’t put a picture of myself on there like that, were it not for that jacket. Sakes alive, I’m proud of that coat and cannot deny the world a look at it too.

Awww...thanks, Wallowa County

Next year, I'm going for best cheeseburger.

'And Furthermore' column

Gearboat Chronicles

I worked for years as a radio announcer and dj inside a small, soundproof room. Loved radio, but talking at that microphone in the teeny-tiny booth finally brought on the stir crazies. Shifting to newspaper reporter brought on the just crazies. I needed some outdoors and river guiding in Hells Canyon certainly took care of that. The Gearboat Chronicles are dispatches from the river, updated every Monday. Click that picture up there to connect with the Winding Waters River Expeditions site.

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'Compost Apprentice' in 'Readings for Writers'

It's awfully nice to be in a table of contents with the likes of Ed Abbey, Maya Angelou, Mike Royko, Dave Barry and Malcolm X. My favorite discussion question: "How does Rombach deal with situations that call for four-letter words?" Answer: Usually, he uses them.

'Number 98: Eulogy for a Red Bus'

Reports of the demise of Glacier's red buses were greatly exaggerated. By me. I drove one in college, then wrote this when the fleet was being retired. Ford stepped in, the buses got overhauls and they're still on the road.

The Sasquatch In Us All

Sports Afield

Nice things people say

Moonshine Ink should be spilled on every community. This independent monthly is published by Mayumi Elegado and her band of freedom fighters in Truckee, CA. See for yourself at moonshineink.com.

I moved some words around for them a while back, and Mayumi slipped this in an issue:

"Copy editor Jon Rombach is adept and freaking funny. In one of his recent emails, he had this to say about chopping up copy: '...added the new ones and took a machete to the previous ones. It's at 620 words. I can amputate something else to get to 550 but they might begin reading like fortune cookies...this 'asap' hasn't been very 's' – but I've been attacked by a string of people who interpret ‘busy’ and ‘no-time-right-now’ as their cue to tell a long yarn about how other people interrupt them when they're trying to get [stuff] done. I'm now cloistered in a dark remove, and will push ahead.'"________Former Chieftain editor Michael Burkett may or may not cheat at Scrabble. I'm not saying he does. The following is from his farewell Chieftain column:

"...I'm going to miss being the first human being on the planet to read the latest column by Jon Rombach. Lest you've somehow failed to notice, this local fellow is a national-level talent. By the way, if you're a fan of easy money, challenge Jon to a game of Scrabble. Even if you've lost half your brain in a tragic...."