Awareness

It’s been a year since the last time I was here. I miss the feeling. I miss showing that other side of me.

I’ve been away following a dream, trying to make things as best as I could. That’s why I miss this place, this place where I’m not afraid to fail or fall.

I may not have gone to a faraway place, but I feel I’ve been to the deepest core of every human existence. This may sound weird, but yes, for more than a year, I’ve exposed myself to the ideas of what makes us who we are, why we do what we do.

Of course, I don’t have all the answers to all my questions because I feel I have only touched the tip of my beingness. But it’s enough to make me understand more of myself and more of others.

How liberating it is to allow others to lead us to take a peek of their perspective, of how they see things much differently from us. The greatest lesson I learn is, there’s no us versus them, there’s only we.

I thought I would stay there for long, but after learning some of the necessary lessons, I have to move on to another path. It’s what I feel I’m called to do. I also learned, discovering our passion can’t always be done in one step. We need to follow a series of steps before we’re finally ready to do that mission we’re called to do.

For this, I’m allowing the waters to take away what no longer serves me and to prepare me with a refreshed mind for the journey up ahead.

Perspective. It’s what makes us see things differently. At times, I see myself above things, feeling bigger and more powerful. But at times, too, I see myself as small as a speck of sand, powerless and insignificant.

It’s funny how I attach myself to these different perspectives as if they were my truth when in fact both are part of the bigger picture of life. It is how things are when we make ourselves object that must fit perfectly into the picture.

But when we choose to be the one who observes, we see right where to put ourselves. And when circumstances put us either above or below, any emotions that come with these different levels have nothing to do with who we are. Because we know full well that everything is just a matter of perspective.

I just found out freedom means a lot of things. It’s not really a liberation from some sort of things, rather it’s another way of living a life with different sets of struggles.

When I was still in the corporate world, I thought freedom means being out of some sleeping people’s authority, free to be myself, free to do what I love to do.

However, when I already have in my hands the things that I consider could bring me liberation, I realized I am facing another set of challenges. Some of which are the following:

1. People do not appreciate your freedom because they’re conditioned to live as slaves.

People are so conditioned to live a pre-designed life that when you don’t fit in a cookie cutter they’ll think you’re absurd. It’s hard for them to understand why you do what you do because in the first place they don’t know why they do what they do.

2. When you take on the Seeker’s journey, only a very few could resonate.

People fight for a pre-designed path that when someone says this is the right way, most will answer without batting eyelashes: Yeah, it’s the right way!

They forget that they have to forge their own path in order to know why they’re here in this world in the first place.

3. Shredding title off yourself means people will not like you for being ordinary.

People are crazy for titles. I don’t blame those who have and deserving for titles without identifying their ego with it.

Shredding myself off a title gives me the freedom to be who I am and not being identified as something that does not make me who I really am. It feels so wonderful to be a ‘nothing’!

4. Preparing to go against conventional wisdom and be criticized for it.

Done playing the validity’s game. Actually, I love to comment on posts, especially now that I am on a genuine soul’s journey. When I see something that’s not quite right like a thwarted belief, I share my opinion on the matter, not to make the other person appear wrong, but to make them see something that’s nearer to the truth if they’re just open enough for it.

It’s okay to be hated than to carry on with regrets for not sharing what was bestowed on me. If I’m the one who is wrong, that’s a great opportunity for learning. Besides, life is not best lived by how many times I was right, it’s how I learned from being wrong!

5. Embracing the life of the lone wolf.

When others learned that I’m just staying at home, they’re raising their eyebrows. Because for most of them aloneness kills. They forget that while it kills them, it might invigorate others.

I have to embrace who I am because that is just what I am. I am different, so are other people. The difference lies in the fact that only a few choose to live the life they want, and most live their life in accordance to the number of likes they receive in their social media accounts. I know, this is ouch! But it’s a hard reality.

5. Trusting God, or the Universe of what’s to come.

One reason why people try hard to get ahead of life is the feelings of security. Yes, we need to consider our physical body’s survival and those of our loved ones, yet it’s only one-half of the equation. Who knows what’s to come? No one. Who gives what we need? God, Higher power. Why fret?

6. Accepting and embracing people for what they are.

This is my struggle too. It doesn’t mean that because I am finding my way, I am right and others are wrong. They’re just living their life according to how they see fit.

Bringing them to the brighter side of life, to what really MATTERS is the greatest challenge on the seeker’s journey, but one we must do because it’s what we’re called to do.

While on earth, there’s no actual freedom. We can only continue to hold on to our greatest Source to lighten our path and makes the journey a little lighter for our self and others.

Some days are gloomy, others sunny. Figuratively. But be not carried away by life’s changing seasons and ebbs. They do not matter much. What matters much is your every breath, your every smile, your every tear in each of the seasons.

You’re designed to live a life so full. Universe does not say a full life is one free of pain or sorrow. To live fully is to be present whatever season your life is in. Your life’s seasons is not dependent on your environment. It’s dependent on where you are in your state of life. Whether you are in spring where your life is just budding; in summer where your days are longer and you think only of relaxation and fun; in fall where you’ve matured much and let go of excess baggage in your life; in winter where everything around is cold, like people and relationships, and all you want to do is embrace yourself tight and stay indoors than be outdoors.

Being present in all these seasons with all that you are makes the journey easier, lighter, and real. Be done with illusions. Throw away expectations. Be an avid fan of life. Be bold. Be brave. Be you. Live.

Seasons come, seasons go. Just like the events in our lives. There are some which we dread to come, and some which we hope would arrive but did not.

We may feel cold on a summer day or feel hot on winter days. But things happen according to their purpose. At times too, things which are not designed to happen, happen because of our own doing. Or, should I say, due to our incompetence and inconsistencies in our judgment. Whether we like it or not, we got to accept it for we could not fight that which already took place.

It might not be that easy to move on, but we are left with only the choice of calling it a day and do better the next time the same opportunity comes (if there is any).

“Know thyself,” Socrates said. When I was in college, this is one of my class report in philosophy. At that time internet had not yet been heard of in our city. Thus our references are based solely on textbooks from the university library.

“Know thyself” was then for me an academic thing, part of the subject matter that I have to learn. It seems inapplicable to daily living. Or, if it can, only in matters when my personality is in question. I have to defend myself by saying, I know myself far better than others do.

Fast forward to today when everybody has an internet access, these words are a common thing. Even made simpler by others who have gone through with it and were able to apply the practice in their daily lives.

Blessed be those people. I find it difficult to apply it in myself. All because knowing thyself is being mindful of everything we do and every thought we think. This is mindful living. If it would be easier, most of us would have been happier by now. There would be less pain, less hatred and fewer conflicts within and without of us. But truth is, the number of unawakened people is great compared with the awakened ones. Why is it?

Perhaps people have only certain knowledge of themselves but are unable to understand their very selves and the reasons why they do what they do. Still, we need to know our self in the most authentic way as possible. We must be mindful of our thoughts every second if we could. Moreover, we must be mindful of how we relate to others. The way we handle our self reflects the way we handle others.

As the wise gurus have said, everything starts in the mind. It wouldn’t hurt if by the end of the day before we put our self into slumber, we will give time to reflect on what thoughts have occurred in our mind. If it falls short of our expectations, there is still another day. If it does, then let’s give our self a pat on the back and say, til next time.

We all strive for success in all our undertakings. Just like my current state, I am ending my twelve-year corporate job to chase my full-time writing dream. Should I fulfill such dream, I could say I am successful.

But is that the end of it? They say some good things never lasts. Does this mean if I attain success in my undertakings, it would never last? Perhaps success is definitely not the end purpose. It is something that we become along the journey. It is our learnings, keeping our feet on the ground and being shaped into the kind of person we supposedly become.

So if we fail to become what we thought we ought to become, it signifies no failure. It means we got the message wrong. We then have to move on and find the right path for us.

And if in my case I get it all wrong, at least I know one more thing that is not for me. The best thing for me to do is to call on my God for the right direction to follow. In Him I know, I would never go wrong. The road may not be smooth, but surely the rewards are great as long as I never get lost all along.

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Hi there! I am a learner, a searcher and a lover of everything beautiful. May you'd be inspired by my simple stories, life musings, bits of poetry, and my take on photography. I just have this petty thought that life is a never ending exploration of mundane things that lead to happiness and beyond.