Sunday, April 3, 2011

Wallace Stevens - Harmonium

"Should have been called Snore-onium. Hey-o!"

"even though the man can create an image...he still is a racist and classist."

OKAY FROM HERE ON OUT IT'S ALL ONE PERSON

"I take great satisfaction in knowing that Hemingway and Wallace Stevens both hit each other. First Wallace Stevens punched Hemingway in the face, and then Hemingway got up off the floor and beat the shit out of Wallace Stevens, landing him in the hospital. This suits me just fine, because I do not like Hemingway, but at the moment I reserve my most vehement loathing for Wallace Stevens. I don't have to study Hemingway; in fact it will probably never be necessary (knock wood) for me to read Hemingway ever again. Right now, though, I am being forced to give some of the space in my brain, the space that could be used for, I don't know, becoming acquainted with Anthony Trollope or Saul Bellow or Anthony Burgess or Djuna Barnes (my present book experiments for which I have no time because I am so busy studying Wallace Stevens), I am being forced to give some of that space to Wallace Stevens' wretched poetry and his perfectly idiotic and nonsensical literary theory. So I am really glad that Hemingway beat the crap out of him. Serves him right.

I also do not accept a lack of punctuation. That's just unacceptable. Come on, people. God gave us punctuation out of the love he bears us, and we're just spitting on him if we refuse to use it. It's there for us to use. See, I've just used a period! And look, an exclamation point! And commas, commas everywhere! It's so tidy and organized; it makes such good sense; we comprehend sentences so handily because of the punctuation that explains where the breaks are. Punctuation! Join me, comrades."

"And back to Wallace Stevens. DAMN IT. I will have to indulge in frequent imaginative reconstructions of his brutal beating at the hands of Ernest Hemingway"

"There may be no lengths AT ALL to which I will not go in order to avoid studyingThough in my defense, I am studying the most genuine load of crap: ... Wallace Stevens, for whom my deep distaste is well-documented (and in fact deserves its own category)."

"Why is there so much Wallace Stevens in the world?"

"I am done with Wretched Wallace Stevens. I had to write about him in two essay questions, and I did not appreciate it. I hope I never encounter that wretched, wretched man again. I hope this is the last time I will ever use my I Hate Wallace Stevens label."

"I hate Wallace StevensThis is well-documented and there's nothing more to say about it. I just remembered that I had a category about this, and it reminded me of exactly how much I hate Wallace Stevens."

"I still hate Wallace Stevens. So much."

"I should have made this category ages ago, dude. I have an entire category for Wallace Stevens – oh, Wallace Stevens, I hate you so much and I'm still super glad that Ernest Hemingway beat the shit out of you"

"I still hate Wallace Stevens.

I'm not just saying it because I have a category and I don't want to waste it. I'm saying it because sometimes when I look at all my category labels, I see the I Hate Wallace Stevens one, and it reminds me of the deep loathing I continue to have for Wallace Stevens. I'm glad Ernest Hemingway kicked shit out of him and sent him to the hospital."