Thursday, November 26, 2009

Just wanted to type about how thankful I am for all my blessing. First for life, everyday I have here on Earth is an amazing blessing and sometimes it is easy to forget how fragile that life is. No one likes to think about it, but really at any moment any day we could leave this Earth. So I am thankful to still be here, to still have time to be with the ones I love, time to work on the things in my life that aren't how they should be. I am also very thankful for my family, both my little family, and my extended family. Thankful i have been blessed with my two amazing kids, and thankful I met Christopher and we were able to get married in the temple. Thankful for health, mine, my families, my friends. I am thankful, although I don't like to admit it, for those hard times, the ones you don't think you can make it through. Only because after I can see myself growing, being closer to the person I want to be.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

how do I feel when my little boy prays, please help mommy not to be mad. I mean if he doesn't listen then yes I am going to be mad, but I don't need to lose my temper. I need to work on showing him my love, even when I am mad.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

I must admit I like cleaning. I mean I don't really like doing it but I don't mind either and then when I am done I love that feeling. It feels good so see what ever it is that you have cleaned, plus it makes me feel like I can relax. I also have noticed I really like to have things clean. I don't really care if yo don't clean your house, but I love having mine clean. I honestly don't mind when I go to other people's homes that are not clean, and they aways say sorry about the mess. Well, it doesn't bother me, I don't live there, I just came to visit. I can go home and relax on my couch and look at my clean hose, so no other people's messy houses don't bother me at all. In fact it just makes that person seem more human in my eyes. I have this thing, which I am realizing more people then I thought to do, where I always see the best in strangers, and the worst in myself and my family. It is a habit I need to get out of. It is good to see the best in others, but I should also look for the best in myself and my family. That is it for now. :-)

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

It worked today, I turned the day around by getting off my butt and getting outside. It was a little cold, but I raked the leaves while my kids ate snow using big leaves as plates. Who knows next they may be eating sand out of a sandbox, at least I know they will survive that! ;-) But I did get a lot done and I am feeling better, it is amazing what a little hard work and a little fresh air will do for you. And I had a moment with my kids I will never forget, at least not for a while. Daniel loves to run around the circle by my house, so he was going to and Elena wanted to go with him. So I told him she could if he would show her what to do and stay with her. So he says, you go like this Elena and starts running but crazy like, I think he is pretending he is a rocket or car. Anyway she starts to run like him, adorable, but then she turns around after a bit and waves at me with the biggest smile ever. Then every so often Daniel stops to wait for her and when she catches up to him she turns and waves. It was so cute, I think she was excited to have that much freedom, she seemed proud of herself for doing it.

Today I am having one of those days. It isn't a bad day, but nothing is quite working out how I planned, or at all. It is okay though, I had a nice big juicy burger with a coke, and now things are looking better. i would have gone for some chocolate, but I feel something coming on so I will hold off on that. I need to get up and moving, to get going, and off the computer. I am finding I am really good at planning and also really good at doing, but not so good at both at the same time. I suppose I am back to where I was before, I need to cut out the un/less important things in my life. The first thing is going to have to be less computer time and less T.V, not that I watch a ton, but sometimes I do in the evening after the kids have gone to bed, I am home alone and I turn it on and before I know it 2 hours have gone by. Now relaxing is good, but only a little at a time. So here I go off to make it happen.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Okay so Christopher and I went and saw 2012, the movie. it was good, a little long, and some parts were a bit cheesy, but overall it was good. Now the question is is the world really going to end on 12-21-12, I really don't think so. Well, I know it isn't, but what I can't see is how people believe it is going to. Also I can't understand why people would kill themselves if they thought the world was going to end. Okay so say I do think it will end in 2012, wouldn't I want to do everything I can now, have fun, enjoy my life, and then, maybe once it starts happening, then go jump off a building, or whatever. I don't see the logic in doing it now. What if you are wrong. This one guy, a professor or something, says he has enough money to live until dec 12, 2012 so he quit his job and is going to spend the time traveling to see the world and try to find the safest place to be. If the whole world is ending, then how can there be a safest place. Who knows, I just thought I you give you all my two cents, do with it what you want. :-)

Monday, November 16, 2009

I really don't like that I feel my feeling very fast. Here is what I mean, I can go from feeling so happy everything is great, to feeling alone, in just a few minutes. The only good thing about feeling my feelings fast is that I am also ready to forgive fast. If I get upset I can calm myself down and be ready to talk about it and forgive the other person in a few minutes. The bummer about this is my husband is slow, well, HE isn't slow :-), he just likes to take time to think things over in his head, a lot of time. Which is fine, we have just worked it out. The thing that bothers me about how fast I feel my feelings is that I can be feeling so great, so happy, then before I know it, BAM, I am not anymore. I think thinking too much is my problem. I stinking brain always is working. Hence the reason I can't fall asleep. And that is when it happens, I will be laying in bed feeling great, then I start to think, and my mood changes, I am thinking about all I have to do and all of the sudden I am feeling stressed, really stressed, so much so that I want to get up and start doing things. Then I convince myself I am a dork, and instead of being so stressed about all I have to do, I should be grateful for all I have. And the thinking starts again, and before you know it I am brought to tears by the joy I feel. It is insane, but then again so am . :-) Those are the thoughts for today.

Friday, November 13, 2009

I am amazed at how much I can love other people's kids. I love my own, but that comes with the title mom, but somehow with some kids, most kids I just have a natural love for them. I know it isn't a bad thing, but I just can't understand it. And sometimes I just feel very close to some kids, closer then others I know just as well. I don't know I just love kids. That being said, I am not sure how many I am going to have, but I know I wouldn't mind working with other people kids after I am done having my own. I guess that is why I was called to the Primary, uh, who would have known? :-)

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

I just blah, can't get things done, can't catch up, can't do it all. Something has to give..... the question is what? I feel like everything I do is either something I need to do or something I just want to do, but helps me not get overwhelmed and go crazy. Humm...... there has to be a better way for me to run my life, the way I am doing it now isn't working. If one little thing doesn't go as planned it throws everything else in my life off, and lets face it things don't go as planned all the time. What to do? What to do? I will have to ponder that as I finish vacuuming and feed the kids dinner, and think about how I am even going to be able to do everything I need to this week for Primary and my kids b-day, way too much to do and way too little time.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

I have stuff I should be doing right now, but either I can't do them, or I am not remembering them. humm.... maybe I should be content with relaxing. I think I like doing stuff so much I just do all the time until it gets to be too much, maybe I should take little breaks when I can. Like right now while my kids are sleeping. of course now that I write that they are going to wake up, but oh well. I had something I was going to post about, but I can't seem to focus. I think the thing is I create things that I need/want to do, and then I don't get the other stuff done that I should be doing. Humm, I think I need to figure this out more. I am going to try to take nap.

Monday, November 9, 2009

The lady on the T.V, she works at the U of U health center. She says the students need to go to the doctor because they most likely have swine flu if they have any of these symptoms: sore throat, fever of more then 100, and/or coughing. Okay according to her I had the swine flu already this season, and so did Daniel. Whatever, they gave out 6000 tickets for the shot in 2 hours. What's wrong with people? Okay I am off my soap box now. Love to hear what you people think......

Friday, November 6, 2009

I need to learn to simplify my life. I always do more then is needed. Which would be fine, but not when it takes more time and energy from me, which I don't have. So starting with my kids birthday I am going to simplify, no I am not changing the time or the date, no worries. It is still going to be really cool, but as I plan and get stuff I need to think what if it is really going to make it any funner for my kids. For example, I have trying to get little stuffed animals for them to rescue and then take home. Would it be any less fun to have them rescue a baby monkey and just use a pinata, I know they have one at Zurchers, and then they get to break it open and take the candy home. plus I would save money by not buying 25 little animals, since I was already going to buy a pinata. Perfect. So now I am off to plan the rest of the party, while thinking "simple, simple, simple," over and over again in my head. Wish me luck!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

I love it! I know call me crazy, but I do. I enjoy Zumba and that is well, basically because I am just dancing having a good time. But I also like running, it makes me feel good. I feel accomplished after a good run, powerful, strong. And today I went to the Zumba class at the gym and stayed after for weights. WOW! My arms hurt while I am typing this. She does heavy weights, lots of reps. I only used 8 pounds on each side and we only did 30 minutes. She worked my legs, arms, abs, butt, pretty much my whole body. It was awesome. And I realized I like that too, so it is safe to say I like working out in general. The thing is I don't watch what eat at all. And I don't mind if I don't lose any weight, I would like to lose 5 pounds, be back to mypre-baby weight, but if I don't, then I don't. The thing I do want is to tone my body. So the question is can I do that without going all out and not eating sugars, and counting my calories? Anyone?

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Fear is a stupid emotion. Fear leads to irrational behavior. For example I see I Spider running across the table, what do I do, jump up and freak out, even if it is little. Is that rational? No, what are the chances of it killing me, not huge, what are the chances of it even biting me, also not huge, it is scared of me too, and should be because I am huge, compared to it, and am going to squish it. So why do I jump up and freak out? Fear also leads us to do other irrational things, what do you do if you are scared of hurting someones feelings? Or scared to let them down? I very much dislike fear. What is the opposite of fear? Jaded people would say it is innocence. Like someone who knows the reality of having a tragedy happen in their life. They no longer think it wont happen to them. And they usually think that if you aren't afraid of it happening to you, well, that is because you are too innocent. But we really can't walk around being afraid of everything, but not protecting ourselves at all is also stupid. So where do we stand? How are we to know the truth? Where is the line between protecting yourself and living in a bubble. We can't be experts in everything. My only conclusion is that we do need to educate ourselves as best we can, spend more time on learning and less time wasted on other less important activities. And that as we do that we need to pray. we need to worship our Father in Heaven daily, in order to have his spirit. We need to be in tune to it, in order to hear and understand it. With the most education we can have and with the power of the Holy Ghost we will be able to make good choices for ourselves and our family.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

I love when after the weekend is over I feel relaxed and ready for the week ahead. This was not one of those, but the extra hour helped, it felt later then it was tonight at about 7 so I realized I had a bit of time on my hands and got some stuff done. Now I need to work on not over scheduling myself or my family during these next few months which will be crazy for me. So just know if you are having some type of get together we might not come. If I over do it then I just end up canceling on people and/or doing more then I can handle and dropping the ball, or lots of them, and/or going to too many things and not considering the effects on me and my kids. We need some down time, and that is what is hard for us, or should I say me. Anyway this weekend was nice, but I am glad it is over. I have my work cut out for me. I always like to do big things for my kids b-day and it is coming up. So here I go off to plan their party, wish me luck and all of that.