Oh college kids and their playful ways. According to an email sent to Total Frat Move with subject line “Shacker at Bama” and accompanying photographic evidence things got poopy on a recent hazy night in Tuscaloosa when an Alabama fraternity guy ditched one sorority girl for another.

A Beta took a chick home last night then ditched her to apparently hook up with another girl. The original girl wasn’t too happy so she took a sh*t on his chair then wiped with his comforter. I realize this isn’t your typical news story but it’s f*cking hilarious. I also have to ask you if that’s what girl poop looks like? What the f*ck is this girl eating? No idea what sorority she’s in but if I find out, I’ll let you know.

This led to TMR putting together a full Always Sunny-style investigation, complete with sources and “what has she been eating?” conjecture.

One source tells us the girl is a member of Phi Mu, and another thinks she’s a DG. We can’t confirm.

Ruh roh Phi Mus and Delta Gammas. I don’t know if Alabama has an Olivia Pope-style sorority fixer (her?) but these chapters are certainly in need of one. Having a vengeful bed-pooper on your roster is something that could potentially stall mixer invites for years.

I was just about to upload the photo of the poop until I realized I was about to upload an image of an Alabama sorority girl’s revenge poop. You can check that out here if you’re so inclined.

Never change everyone involved with this story. Actually, the exact opposite of that.