Despite the complexity of keeping sloths alive in captivity, their popularity is rising. Internet sites blithely tout how easy it is to own a sloth by claiming that they make cuddly, family-friendly pets. Sites like WiseGeek.org state that sloths are affectionate, playful, clean, quiet, and live a long life. Are you sure about that? Sloths require a very specialized diet, which is hard to maintain in captivity. They only defecate once a week, so one can only imagine the quantity and smell. Their bodies are well adapted to a life atop trees, but not in cages or on flat surfaces. So, unless your living room resembles the Amazon forest, I wouldn’t recommend keeping a sloth as a pet and expecting her to be happy.

According to Zoologist Lucy Cooke, most zoos in the U.S. refuse to keep sloths because they require such specialized care. If zoos'[ experts find it difficult to keep a sloth alive, how can the untrained person keep one healthy as a pet? Cooke’s quote says it all: “Sloths make lousy pets. Their highly specialized biology makes sloths largely unable to survive outside the rainforest. So, the idea that any old Joe could just keep one as a pet is a bit of a fantasy, really.”

Don’t be fooled by the perpetual smile of the sloth. As with dolphins, a “smile” covers up the desperation they endure in captivity.

Keep wildlife in the wild—and that means sloths, too! If you want cute and cuddly, I’ll bet your community has an animal shelter filled with adorable—and domestic—cats and dogs in need of loving homes. [Editor’s note: And bunnies, too!]