There's no greater way for General Motors to memorialize our nation's history than by paying to cover a Camaro SS with a mural so eagle-emblazoned and patriotic it's like the love child of Lee Greenwood and Chuck Norris. These colors do run — fast.

Artist Mickey Harris created the Chevy Camaro American Pride on commission from GM last summer as a one-off for its show car division. After it debuted on Sept. 11 — no, we're not kidding, that's when it debuted — GM has since rolled out the Camaro to scores of regional auto shows, where real Americans could gape in slack-jawed awe at our nation's historical majesty rendered by airbrush on a sports car built in Canada.

Walk through the gallery above for more commentary on this incredibly festooned muscle car.

The American Pride Camaro contains so much patriotism, its care must follow the honor code for handling U.S. flags. For those whose memories of our nation's glorious past run short, it also reminds us just how handsome Gen. Norman Schwartzkopf was. Here's a gallery of its wonders, before GM takes it over to Pennsylvania Avenue, does a few burnouts and throws the keys at the Treasury building with a note saying "call it even." After clicking through, please return your hand to your chest.

The bald eagle didn't become part of the official seal until 1782, so this one grasping the 1776 Declaration of Independence probably should have been replaced with a turkey per Benjamin Franklin's wishes — preferably the robot version that shows up on Fox TV's football coverage every Thanksgiving.

When the USS Constitution defeated the HMS Guerriere in 1812, it not only had superior cannons but also the power to summon Sky Chief Eagle, a protective spirit of the Iriquois tribe.

I don't recall eagles playing a big role in "The Hurt Locker." Must be on the director's cut.

Good call portraying the Korean War's most famous veteran, Dr. B.J. Honeycutt.

Sad but true — this is the closest Lincoln may ever get to a sports car.

Eagles are just Predator drones powered by renewable fuels.

It's plausible to think Richard Nixon did enviously survey the burning oil fields of Kuwait and wish he'd had Saddam Hussein's balls. While Gen. Schwartzkopf checks his pulse for signs of elevation, a young Colin Powell reminds himself never to start a war in Iraq without overwhelming force.

Few people on either side of the Vietnam War remember Operation Joint Drop, but that's what happens when you drop joints on people.