DearCathy.com is written by CathyHarrisInternational.com. Cathy Harris is an Advice Columnist at DearCathy.com.
Myths, mis-information, old wives tales, and urban legends are plaguing most communities today -- so people don't know what to believe.
Cathy Harris is here to set the record straight. Contact DearCathy.com at AskCathy@DearCathy.com or P.O. Box 19282, Austin, TX 78760. For more empowerment tools join mailing list and read books by Cathy Harris at AngelsPress.com.

Thursday, June 21, 2018

I would like to know how long before I notice that my planting is solid and firm. I am planting trees and roses around my house and my parent's home?

Dear Anonymous:While I am not an expert on trees and roses, since most of the foods I am planting in my backyard gardens are for eating, after 2 to 3 weeks is when most of my plants started to take shape.

I also advise you to attend local gardening and flower classes in your area, especially since most trees and flowers are different in each region. Did you know that trees in Texas, where I currently live -- don't grow as big as the trees in my home state - Georgia?You can ask about both at gardening centers (Lowes.com, HomeDepot.com, Walmart.com) but most, especially Walmart have bad customer service.

You can also find natural gardening centers by going to google.com and put in your city name and the words "Natural Gardeners". Many cities have gardening clubs for plants, herbs and flowers. You can also find flower classes in continued education classes at night.

You probably can get your answer also on YouTube.com, but again these growers, farmers and gardeners will be from different regions so you need to find out what's happening in your region.

Just go on www.YouTube.com and put in the search button "Planting Trees" and "Planting Roses" and there will be a ton of information to show you how to do it. Watch at least 10 videos apiece on each topic. This should get you more comfortable with any planting ideas for the future.

Monday, September 25, 2017

Sep. 25, 2017Dear Cathy:My boyfriend has a job where he has to travel for work. I don't see him as often as I would like and I just feel like he is being unfatihful to me. I would like to walk away from the relationship, but he won't let me. What can I do to reassure myself, that he is not involved with another women? Anonymous, Houston, TXDear Anonymous:It's very important to have total trust in a relationship. If you have trust, but you still feel that your boyfriend might be unfaithful to you, then you should walk away from the relationship because that is not trust.All relationships, especially if you are living together or married, should have these 4 things -- Love, Communication, Respect, and Trust. If he is away for long periods of time and doesn't reach out to you to stay in touch with you by email, phone/skype, or invite you to join him on trips, then there might be a good chance that he is up to no good. Relationships takes nurturing and if anyone in the relationship is not willing to do this, then it might be time to go your own way. As far as not letting you go, no one can keep you in a relationship, if you are unhappy and especially if you don't trust them. The fact that he is not always there, should give you time to walk away and get involved in other things, that will truly bring you the happiness that you deserve.

Monday, May 29, 2017

I miss wearing my perfume at work. We now have a Sniff Policy at work, where we can’t wear any loud perfumes, soaps or shampoos. Is this policy fair? Work Sniff Policy, AlabamaDear Work Sniff Policy:

Even though I think jobs and the government have gone too far these days, I do agree with many of these policies. Have you ever went to a movie that was packed and the last seat that you were trying to save because you did not want others sitting all around you, but you had to give it up to someone with loud perfume on?

Whether you know it or not these jobs is doing you a great service by helping you stay away from toxic perfumes and other smells, which does nothing but render your liver dysfunctional.Most people's livers today, because of GMOs, are only operating at 30%. The liver is in charge of energy, obesity and emotions. So if you want to lose weight or have tons of energy, you need to cut down on the smells that you come in contact with or in other words you need to GO NATURAL - from head to toe.

The liver is the organ that has to clean up what you eat, touch and smell, and it can’t do that when you wear loud perfume and other smells from your soaps and shampoos. Many people don’t even like going out today, especially to clubs, not just because of the smoke, but also loud perfume.

Look at it like this, the more natural you are, the more energy and the healthier you will be, so your job is actually doing you a favor, whether you realize this or not.

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Amazon.com told me that I needed to include a Table of Contents link for my line of erotica books on Amazon.com, but I am not familiar with this process. Where can I find out how to do this? Book on Amazon.com, Phoenix

Dear Book on Amazon.com:

Amazon.com has certain guidelines and like every book publishing company, when you write an e-book or paperback, they need to be followed. Amazon is the largest book publishing company in the U.S. and most authors know to put their books there so every book in America is on Amazon.com.

There should be instructions at https://kdp.amazon.comon how to place the Table of Contents (TOC) in your e-book for Amazon.com. But they also have services that can help you with this so just pay extra for their services if you can’t figure this out.

Monday, May 22, 2017

I am in my early 20s. I
really want to start my own business, but don’t know if I have what it takes.
How do I get started? Future Business Owner, Florida

Dear
Future Business Owner:

You
might not have what it takes at this particular time to start a business, but it certainly doesn’t make sense not to find
out if you do. You could very well have everything that you need, including a business mindset, within the next 6 months to a year down the line.

First of all you need to understand that it will take dedication
and commitment. Starting a business is like starting a project. It can be a
short project or a long project, but once you are all set up in business, it
will be a rewarding experience.

My
first advice to you is to get around others who have businesses and watch how
they operate their business. Do this before you even figure out what type of business to start because being around
business owners will help you realize, what type of business you need to start.

You
only want to start a business that you are truly passionate about. If you are
not passionate about the business you start then chances are you will not want
to do it. So go all the way back to school and start thinking about some of the
things you have really been passionate about over the years. They might be
hobbies or some topics that you seriously thought about majoring in.

Your passion will lead you to your purpose so once you
figure out your passion, everything else will fall into place. Then
decide if you can set up a business on your own or if you need to work with
coaches, consultants and other mentors that can guide you along the way, especially keep you from making too many mistakes.

So
form business alliances, strategic partnership and co-ops with others in
business groups, who should offer some type of mentoring program for new entrepreneurs. Or
start your own research yourself by going to libraries or buy business books
online.

Thursday, May 11, 2017

I am a black male and I was fired from my job. I was fired from my job at a tire company in my city. I was texted by my manager and told this through a text and told to bring in my uniforms.

I did as asked and brought in my uniforms and 20 minutes after I left the job site, I was called private by a police officer and asked if I stated that I was going to shoot up the building.

I’m a felon and the reason I was told I was fired is because I left without telling management when I’ve been told before that as long as we let someone know, i.e. the head technician or another employee, when we were leaving or going on break, it would be okay. I did so and this is the conclusion. I’m really pissed off this happened to me. What can I do? Fired, Georgia

Dear Fired:

First of all sorry about your dilemma. At this time you want to sit back and take a deep breath simply because when black men are fired from jobs, even when they are not felons, one of the tactics used in most workplaces is to have them arrested by telling the police that they are violent, even when they are not.

Therefore, you need to really watch your next move. First of all, go to your local Department of Labor (www.DOL.gov) as soon as possible and file for unemployment benefits. If approved this will take at least 30 days so it’s important not to wait around to do this. Make sure you state your reason for being fired as "Wrongful Termination" and let them know you plan on filing a lawsuit and claim with EEOC.gov. This statement need to be on your paperwork at the unemployment office.

Many states will pay you around $300 dollars for 20 to 26 weeks. However, the laws has changed in many places today and I am not up to date on the latest changes. It seems like they had it in for you and probably want to hire one of their relatives or friends to take your place so they had to get rid of you. Was it right - no? Was it legal - no.

I don’t know any other circumstances about your job or how long you were there, but jobs especially in your state is definitely not on the side of employees. I think Georgia is a “Right To Work” state, which means employers have a right to fire you at will or any time, but that doesn’t mean you should not fight back. That’s up to you.

You can contact the www.EEOC.gov office and lodge a complaint, which you should, while you seek out other employment, or get a lawyer or find a law student at a law library to help you with filing a complaint. However, since you left the job under those types of circumstances, I am sure you don’t want to go back to that job, but you could ask to go to another location, if they have one.

Go on google.com and put in the name of the company and then put in the words – racism, discrimination, black employees, and if you can prove that this company, purposely discriminates against black people, then this will help any type of potential lawsuit you might have down the line. If you can find other black employees that they have fired, at least 3 or 4, then you can file a class action lawsuit.

Most jobs are suppose to give you verbal or written warnings before termination, but again Georgia is a "Right To Work" state. They can actually fire you because they don’t like the way you look and this happens all the time. Is it legal – no, but they do it all the time.

It’s unfortunate but getting fired by text might even be legal in many workplaces today unless it violates existing company policy or a pre-existing employment contract.Since you have been fired, now is the time to seriously look at your financial situation. You might need to move in with a friend or relative, until you gain gain other employment or start a business.On the other hand getting fired can be a blessing in disguise, it's a chance for you to draw your benefits while you seek out potential business opportunities. Use your own skills, talents and passions to start a business. Starting a business is not rocket science and today many people are starting businesses around growing foods so check out these opportunities, but whatever you do it needs to be your passion.

Monday, May 8, 2017

Help me understand why this doesn't work. If two independent people get together and combine their income. Shouldn't they be able to take care of their bills and have plenty left over to spend? If so, then why do I see or hear about so many couples struggling. If that's the case. I can keep doing good by myself. And should I ask a potential mate for her credit report? Doing good, TexasDear Doing Good:

There are so many reasons couples struggles with their finances. I will give you 3 scenarios to answer your question.

Scenario 1: Someone is probably holding back funds (women) or they both want to control the money...They have to agree to disagree. That's how it works. Some women are afraid men will keep them from buying stuff that will make them feel pretty. This is how many women feel good about themselves today because they have stuff, however, feeling good about yourself starts with the foods you eat, especially eating good, clean, organic brain foods. It's not rocket science but many couples need to get on the same page.

Scenario 2: Many women are still old fashioned and still think that men should pay most of the bills. But today many women make more than men, so they will have to agree to disagree and get those bills paid. It’s a new world and many couples have to adapt to change, which will be hard for many because of their old-fashioned values.

Scenario 3: Couples should sit down and look at everything if they plan on getting married, especially their finances, which includes credit reports. I look at my credit report every 2 weeks to see if I see good or bad changes. You can bring your credit score from a 500 to 750 in just 90 days. I know I did it and now I teach others in my workshops and consultations how to do it.

So don’t let the fact that one of you have bad credit be a deterrent not to wed. The person that is better in math, just need to teach the other person how to handle finances, but this is easier said than done, especially if women are better at finances. Men don’t like it when women try to teach them anything.