Category: Need

Every time you desire something examine whether you need it or you want it

Photo Courtesy: Internet

I usually don’t drink on week days – but indulge on most weekends! But, yesterday, although it was a week day, I sat in front of the TV nursing a glass of whisky. My daughter gestured to me quizzically – meaning “What’s going on?” – when she returned home from work. I so love my Royal Challenge – given that I can’t quiet afford Scotch whiskies or exquisite Single Malts. And when I do have a drink, I have a few of them and thoroughly enjoy myself!

But my daughter’s expression led me, besides indulging, to reflect on why we desire something. Did I not desire the whisky in the first place, even before I had it? Is desiring wrong? Can desires be avoided by resisting them?

Every scripture in the world will tell you that desire is at the root of all our unhappiness. But it is also intrinsic to human nature that we desire. And obviously it is not about my whisky alone. As human beings we desire anything and everything – from cars to new phones to sex to revenge! So, is there a way we can understand how to control or, at least, manage our desires.

Yes, there is a way. I have learned from experience that the way to deal with desire is to not resist it but to understand it, appreciate it and make an intelligent choice – every single time. Desire cannot be dropped. Because desire is an energy. And energy cannot be destroyed. When the energy, the desire arises, go it its root and understand it. Do you need what you desire or do you want it? If you need it, go for it. If you want it, you can still go for it, but absolve yourself of all guilt. Make a free choice by remaining alert, being mindful and by practicing awareness.

I lean to Osho, the Master, for a better understanding of the anatomy of desire. Osho says the energy behind desire and the energy behind creation, existence, are one and the same. He quotes from the Eastern scriptures where legend has it that God had a great desire. To expand beyond himself. And so, in order to grow from one to many, he let his desire create us__humans. So, fundamentally, all desire is about expanding oneself because we are all an offshoot of the same creative energy. Fighting desire, therefore, means fighting with ourselves. No desire is bad unless you succumb to it and it starts to enslave you. And nothing must be succumbed to. And nothing must be allowed to enslave us. We must not capitulate but we must choose freely. When a desire, let us say to smoke, to drink, to eat an additional gulab jamun, to have sex, to get angry, to feel frustrated, to be jealous, whatever, arises, look at the desire not as if you are desiring it but as a third person. As an observer. Understand the desire with your awareness. Where there is awareness, there will be prudence. It is only when we are blinded that we succumb mindlessly to our desires. When we stay alert, we will always be able to deal with the desire intelligently, effortlessly __ perhaps, even overcome it by letting go of it; or perhaps, choosing it consciously.

Whatever you need will always be provided for. And if you don’t have or get something that you want, it really means you don’t need it right now!

This really is how Life works. If you carefully examine the Life that you have lived until now, you will notice that your needs have always been taken care of – with amazing consistency. If anything was denied to you at any point in time, it may well have been only something you wanted. This is true for everyone – irrespective of who they are, what they do and where they live.

We don’t see this very evident sign of this whole Universe, and its inhabitants, being soaked in this abundance (of every need being fulfilled), because we are always focusing our attention on what we don’t have or don’t get. Also, our definition of what we need or what anyone needs is not how Life looks at it. In fact, Life’s way – how it thinks and works – is inscrutable. So, if people who live in pitiable conditions, in slums for instance, are, in our opinion, denied even basic, bare necessities – Life’s view may be different. And we can’t even quite know what that view is or why do some people have to live the way they have to. Yet even these people manage to survive only because Life takes care of them – again providing whatever “they” need appropriately.

Your grief comes mainly when you think of what isn’t there, what you have not got and what you don’t have. Almost all your waking time is spent in such unproductive scarcity thinking. If only you shifted your attention to what you have, you will realize that everything you need is there – and it keeps coming, just in time, every single time! This is called abundance thinking. It means that you must know, and keep the faith, that if you have been created, you will be provided for – with whatever you need, as long as you are alive!

So, switch the way you think. Know and be sure that you may not always get what you want – but you will never be denied what you need by Life!

Disclaimer

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