"What my favorite thing to do is open up a fresh box of saltines and eat them all straight down to the bottom and leave one, then shave my pubes and glue them to the top of the cracker. Then I put it in a thong and shoot it out the window, run out and jump up and snatch it in mid-air while jizzing on the neighbor's glasses like a boss and I scream THUNDERWEAR!! Then trip and roll down the hill like a four year old with downs and cry as I watch the notebook with one up my *** while my parents are eating thanksgiving dinner without me for the THIRD MONTH IN A ROW and no one can **** because the toilet was installed backwards which is kind of Obama's fault because I asked him to fix it but he didn't because I didn't have anymore peanut butter Gatorade."