“If you dig deep enough, you’re going to find that everyone’s a sinner.”

Logan Echolls

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This about the fact people are imperfect, rarely 100% good, and the fact we all may be a sinner but still good.

** note: I am not using sinner in a religious framed way.

I agree with Logan (who was a character on Veronica Mars) that if you work hard enough you will find something bad, dubious, possibly unethical, in everyone’s past or even present. But you know what? It doesn’t really have to do with ‘sinning’ or being a sinner. It is just that we all have flaws. Just to be clear. It is most likely if you dig deep enough you will also find everyone is basically the same and we all have hopes & dreams & insecurities. That said. If we accept the fact everyone is a sinner, our past is flawed in some way in which the standard human being would judge it is ‘guilty of something’ then you have to accept the fact no one is innocent.

“No one is innocent … Life is more about how you bear the guilt.”

Jacques Silette

Uhm.

No one is innocent.

Ponder that.

That means every one of us sinners carry some burden of ‘not innocent’. This seems relevant as:

more and more people in today’s world are meticulously rummaging through other people’s pasts to find moments in which they were ‘guilty’ of something

more and more people in today’s society appear to investing a lot of energy suggesting they are guilty of little, if not anything

Well. That is kind of bullshit. No one is innocent. We are all guilty of small, medium and even some large things. Therefore. It within that last sentence of the quote in which resides the larger Life thought.

Your life can be defined by how you bear that guilt.

It is the larger Life thought because “defined by” is actually “choices”. All the choices we make everyday in the little and the small as well as in how we judge ourselves, and our actions, and other’s actions. So we make all of these choices, one by one, dozens & hundreds over time, all the while accumulating some aspects of non-innocence.’ From that point on it becomes how we define it:

Do you ignore it?

Do you make excuses?

Do you deny it?

Do you worry about it?

Do you keep it secret?

Do you use it to motivate?

These are questions that reside within each of us <whether we elect to admit that they exist or not>. These are the questions that define how people bear the guilt.

Oh.

The one that is probably most important?

Do you even recognize you are not innocent?

I think in today’s world where we seem to rush to blame people and judge them guilty of something <often justly> we tend to push our own lack of innocence, in whatever degree it may exist, into some dusty corner of our mind. But I also believe there is an even more dangerous thing many people do and that is justifying their own past behavior & actions as ‘not so bad’ which is basically assuming, well, innocence.

What that means is, I imagine, there are many more people who don’t even know they are ‘not innocent’ of something than there are those who bear the guilt. I imagine this because bearing some guilt is a burden. A burden not just as a weight, but it also can bear some emotional erosion aspects if you are not careful.

While those who bear the guilt can sometimes be eaten away from the inside as they think about it, I would suggest there are many more minds being eroded by the unseen, unrecognized & unaccepted shadow of guilt which dogs each step one takes.

This comes to Life in a variety of ways.

It erodes in a way that when shit happens to them <because the guilt actually affects their behavior in some seemingly small ways> they scratch their head and wonder why.

Some of these people think fate is against them.

Many of these people think Life isn’t fair.

Many of these people never look at themselves, or to themselves, as the issue … just everything else.

Many of these people just look at others as ones who should be guilty <“I never did anything that bad”>.

All of that is sad to me. Mostly because people’s burden of guilt is most likely something manageable if the person would only take the time to face it — face the guilt and eliminate that weightless, but diminishing, shadow following them and choose to carry it instead. I honestly do not know if people ignore their ‘lack of innocence’ or place their sin in a third person way <region does this> because they don’t like the thought of it or they don’t know how to explain it or maybe its simple embarrassment or it could even be they DO see the burden and do not want to accept it.

Look.

We all have guilt for something. None of us are innocent. The something could be big or it could be very small. But that is the funny thing about ‘not innocent’ — its size doesn’t matter.

Normal laws of space & weight do not apply to ‘not innocent’. A sliver of ‘not innocent’ can bear the same weight as a mountain of ‘not innocent’.

We should all take a moment, every day in fact, and remind ourselves, especially before we jump to judging others, that if you ignore the degrees & dimensions of the guilty — none of us are innocent.

But, most importantly, once you accept no one is innocent <self included> what truly matters is how one chooses to bear that weight.

“Learn to be what you are, and learn to resign with good grace all that you are not.”

Henry Frederick Emile

In the end. One of the hardest things in the world for anyone is to embrace their flaws, their sin. Each of us ‘are not’ a lot of things. Recognizing those things is actually pretty easy. We notice them all the time. I guess the difficult part is accepting them. and resigning yourself to ‘not being something’ with grace. Being able to do that is a full measure of one’s character. And maybe that is what ‘being a sinner’ or ‘no one is innocent’ is all about – character. To accept our flaws means to accept some burden possibly demands character. I do wish more people would accept we are all not innocent and begin judging people more on how they carry they bear the guilt of their sin.

Yes. You need a well functioning product or service, but you also need a well functioning idea with a language that functionally communicates it if you want to have a successful business product.

Note: I would argue that every good product has a special idea that exists within it and if you don’t articulate it well you simply have a commodity and will careen around your category in a bumper car race of similarity (albeit with different colors).

That said. Conceptually, I want to sell an idea so people buy a product (not sell a product so they buy into some idea of what it offers). To me, within that twist of words, and wording, resides success.

Let me share thoughts on each aspect.

Ideas.

Nassim Taleb suggested “loyalty to an idea is not a good thing for anyone.”I disagree. In fact, I would argue discerning what idea to be loyal to versus which ideas should be ‘loosely held’ may be one of the most important aspects of success.

** note: this may be what Taleb meant but it’s fun to disagree with him.

Ideas don’t need to be uncovered. Most are simply submerged or buried under bias, discomfort, political correctness and general societal bullshit.

Once they arise from all that muck some really important conversations can happen where people realize that people are people and ideas can connect them.

We can accept that there is more in common then different between people so an idea, well articulated, can gather people.

We can accept that hopes and dreams are fairly equal even among what seems like in unequal dispersion of their hopes & dreams.

If you accept this, even embrace this, you stop restricting possibilities and stop viewing conversations around ideas in a restrictive way, but rather the fact a belief an idea offers a center on which other ideas can collect around. This is an important thought because if you viewed this same concept through the lens of ‘I sell products, not ideas’ you would actually have to be in the product line extension/innovation business because that’s what collects around a product-centric view. Products have value, but ideas with products attached is multiplicative value.

Now. I will unequivocally state that ideas are a dime a dozen (albeit not all are created equal) and multiple products can actually serve the same idea, therefore, how you articulate the idea, and what language gets ‘coded’ to that idea/product combination matters – a lot.

Language.

Language, or words, are the oxygen (or carbon monoxide) to ideas. Languages and words tap into the attitudes, influences behavior and shapes culture. The right word, or combination of words, shapes what we pay attention to as well as HOW we pay attention to what is being said and who is saying it.

** two better books discussing words, diametrically opposed in terms of style and how things are discussed, are How to Speak Human/Jackson & Jackson & The Symbolic Species/Terrence Deacon.

Words then establish some expectations, or cultural ‘permissions’, tapping into biases and experiences (either locking them or unlocking them). And, ultimately, words shape culture. While they certainly can amplify differences, they can also foster a shared sense of identity – at best bridging perceived differences and establishing commonalities (unearthing what has been unseen or ignored). I will say that the most effective words are words typically derived from established stories or narratives.

“The story you attach to something is just as important to creating the value as the product itself.”

Rory Sutherland

Therefore, for a product to be grounded in an idea that idea needs words, language and stories to craft its place in culture. This is often called “linguistics influence” (language plays a role in guiding thoughts, attitudes and perceptions).

**note: people should not confuse this with ‘perception is reality.’ Perceptions shape the value of reality. That distinction is important because the moment there is misalignment between perceptions and reality (the product or experience) then there is dissonance in the mental structure which makes it unavailable to distinction.

Words influence how we think about things conceptually. That means if we can articulate an idea in the right way, the words (embodying an idea) can frame, or reframe, the entire conversation. It is here we should think of words, and conversations, as an expansive tool not a restrictive tool. This is important because words influence focus (which is tied to attention) highlighting some information, yet, opens us up to additional information. All this to say for an idea to not only exist, but prosper, it must have a language and words.

Products.

Truly meaningful differentiated products are anomaly – they are in fact like unicorns (okay, how about like protected species). That doesn’t mean we don’t bend ourselves into pretzels trying to convince ourselves we have differentiated our product in some meaningful way. I often call this the ‘differentiation rabbit hole.’ I would argue, and have, make your product functionally great against a specific need (or want) and then articulate your idea in a distinct way and you will not only sell a viable product, but create a value proposition so it can be healthy in the marketplace.

Let me be clear. If you do not have a functional, preferably functionally good, offering, no matter what language you use, no matter what story you create, you will fail. It may not be today, or even tomorrow, but inevitably your business will crumble under the weight of failed expectations.

Let me be clear. If you do not understand the difference between need and want, you have a 50/50 chance your idea will crumble under the weight of your wrong choice of what it is you offer.

Lastly.

A quick thought on the relationship between people and ideas.

People.

The universe can be confusing in that we can see distribution connections (the internet, globalized shipping, technology, mail, etc) as the creator of what is successful and what is not. The truth is that it is humans who disseminate and distribute ideas. This is important because this eliminates biological spread as a way of growth or death. Instead we should be viewing the relationship in a mental way. There are too many studies to source that have dealt with the question of what causes a particular idea to engage and spread. It is difficult to characterize which ideas gain success, and which don’t, because, well, ideas are used by humans to spread & be distributed. The idea has no control of its own survival. Its survival resides in the imperfections of humans. Maybe said another way – it is important to understand despite our illusion humans are in control of the development and implementation of ideas; they don’t work for us, we work for them – we serve as machines or distribution widgets/system for spreading ideas.

Which leads me to amplification (or speed) and ideas. We far too often speak of engagement as the key to ideas when we should actually be assessing the interaction of humans and ideas with velocity in mind. If humans control ideas then they also have the opportunity to not only dictate their survival but also an ideas ability to thrive – an idea can survive in a small corner of the world or dominate the world (not all survival is created equal).

All that said.

Ideas are dependent upon people. In other words, if no human cares about your idea, it does not exist.

Ok. Let me share an example of a neat little startup I have had the privilege of assisting. It’s a company called Dope Coffee. Yes. It’s a coffee business and brand, but its actually an idea for which the coffee products are simply a means to sharing the idea. the brand idea has principled aspects all of which insure a cohesive in messaging and a coherence in ideas it collects, strategies it pursues and tactics it implements.

A company of creatives who use coffee as a medium to tell black culture’s story one cup of coffee at a time.

Sometimes a product is a means to an end. Sometimes a product is created not to solve a problem, but rather to not fail the moment & the idea. In fact. Sometimes a product is created to insure it is crafted to INSURE the moment happens. That is Dope Coffee. As a product the coffee has been crafted to linger on the taste buds so the drinker wants to linger in the moment and linger on the conversations that occur over a cup of coffee. And within the moment, and moments, resides the Dope Coffee idea.

Dope Coffee is an idea captured in products people can use.

The idea.

Society according to Dope.

Exclusion is easy. It’s easy because society thrives on binaries. It’s us versus them, black versus white, good versus bad. Its also wrong. The strength of society resides in inclusion not “versus.” The strength of society is a better world in which we all get to maintain our individuality without sacrificing community. That means someone can be black and be true to a black community AND seamlessly thrive within the larger community. Yes. We believe black people can be uncompromisingly black without being exclusive, in fact, through black culture society can see inclusivity through fresh eyes. Conversely we believe white people (or any race) can be uncompromisingly white without being exclusive.

Culture according to Dope.

Being black is inclusive, not exclusive. There are more things in common than uncommon. In fact, I’d point out the language of black America, the culture of black America, is part of the weave that unites America. Just as words can divide, they can unite. In fact, words, commonly understood, may be one of the greatest bonding ‘tools’ in existence. Dope is a way of speaking, way of thinking and way of Life. Its black culture, captured in cultural language, capturing a multi-colored world in a common narrative.

Coffee according to Dope.

A cup of coffee is a connection to a conversation between people, thoughts & ideas – either self reflectively or in engaging with others. It creates an intersection in which we can linger upon the important things. We have crafted a coffee with this intention in mind – texture, tone, taste – to reflect upon what connects us, not divides us. We see our coffee as, well, dope. Dope in that in its excellence it permits people to reflect upon what good the world offers rather than dwell on the bad.

Black coffee using black culture to create a brighter world view one conversation at a time.

Dope Coffee is an idea which collects ideas. Therein lies the power of being an idea and not just a product. The core idea, always revolving around a product which tends to be an energy source for connecting, is a collection of ideas (whatever makes up the individuals’ conversations & thinking of that moment).

This makes idea selling a little tricky, but expansive in its potential. The larger idea is simple, in and of itself, and coffee is simple in and of itself, yet, the conversation is complex in its variety of depths and dimensions. But that’s how we navigate complex ideas and a complex world – by offering a lily pad of certainty people can settle on (if but for a moment) so that complexity can be faced well.

Ideas, language and products.

Far too often we parse these out or choose that one is more important than another when, instead, we should embrace the ‘weave’ which binds a good brand positioning in the market place. It is most likely when you do weave them all together the ‘package’ will be distributed and used by humans (people).

Just ponder.

Drink a cup of coffee, think about the Dope idea (or any dope idea), and see where it takes you. This type of thinking, about ideas, is expansive in a good way. Its complexity in a good way.

Mea Culpa:

There are a few sentence/phrases in this piece which I pulled from little scribbled notes I made over time. There is a possibility I am using, verbatim, something that someone else crafted. I apologize and would be happy to source if I knew the source. As Rob Estreitinho has pointed out – I am a gentleman thief.

“If you pay attention to the present, you can improve upon it. And, if you improve on the present, what comes later will also be better …”

–

Paulo Coelho

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“Where religious values might be relative, intellectual values fleeting, moral values ambiguous, and aesthetic values dependent upon an observer, the existence of any thing is infinite.”

Grendel, John Gardner

=========================“Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.”

–

Robert Frost

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Well. I believe most ‘live in the present’ advice is absurd. I also believe Eckhardt Tolle, author of The Power of Now, is a nutjob with an unrealistic view of how to practically live life. All that said. I believe we, in business, have a wacky relationship with the present. While we espouse getting shit done each day is the step by step way to create the future you desire, we have an uncanny ability to not actually value the present until it has become part of the past. That doesn’t mean we don’t value what we do in the present it just seems to have a higher value when we look backwards and assess it. Maybe this abstract relationship with the present is driven by the fact businesses cannot make up their minds to live with the decisions they have made .. or crucify the decisions that have been made.

Suffice it to say the present takes on some fairly absurd dimensions in our minds. Oddly it can expand and contract depending on what we want to do and how we want to view it (ranging from a ‘for now’ caveat to ‘this is it’ declarations).

That said. While it seems like ‘looking backwards’ is almost a disease for most people, oddly, far less often do people actually view ‘the present’, in the present, as something we will ever come back to (that is one of those crazy time paradoxes which, if unraveled, could most likely resolve a lot of our perspective issues). Regardless. That seems kind of crazy to me. Crazy? Well. If you know you can’t go back, or doubt you will, maybe you would view it a little more closely and maybe (if you know you cannot go back) you may actually value the present as, well, valuable.

It is quite possible our problem with valuing the present for the value it deserves resides in the fact each present is actually fragmented by vector choices. What do I mean? In general, any business leader can do multiple things at the same time <as long as they are aiming in the same general direction> and, yet, time after time a business leader is faced with two roads and want to travel … well … both.

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood …

<Frost>

A lot of other business people smarter than I expound on grand visions and organizational charts with milestones and specific initiatives <an important aspect of vector choice decisionmaking>. I just think of each business treading a road with roads traveled or less traveled to choose from. Maybe its because of that each present can be overwhelming so, well, we diminish the choice importance and in conjunction diminish the present value of each moment.

Look (part 1).There is a lot to be said for “keeping your head down and focusing on what needs to be done and do it well.” That is a version of living in the ‘now’ and, in fact, I would guess, having been a manager and watching other managers, 90% of management advice to employees is saying exactly that.

Maybe the most famous quote for this advice is:

“If you did not look after today’s business, then you might as well forget about tomorrow.”

Isaac Mophatlane

And you know what? That’s not bad advice.

It may not be the best advice nor is it the type of advice that guarantees ‘what comes later will also be better’, but in the scheme of things getting workers to focus on what they need to do now and do it well now at least keeps you out of the proverbial ditch.

Okay. Let me take that back. It doesn’t keep you out of the ditch.

Huh? Try walking in an open field one day just by looking down. If you walk for 5 minutes, I can almost guarantee you will <a> not have walked in a straight line and <b> walked directly toward what you may have sighted on before you put your head down.

Keeping your head down and focusing does have some merit, but it is not the end all be all nor does it guarantee you actually end up in a place you want to be or should be.

SONY DSC

My point? Doing wellin the present is significantly different than improving on the present. The former tends to provide value in the moment while the latter tends to increase value in moments. I do believe we consistently undervalue the present in the present, but overvalue the ‘past’ present in reflection. That seems out of whack to me, but, that’s me.

Look (part 2). The present provides choices and the future provides opportunities to reflect upon those choices. If you set aside regret, I tend to believe all of us often want to go down both roads at once, but since it’s impossible to walk down two roads at once, we have to choose one road. But the reason I added in this part of the poem is the narrator is actually showing regret and rationalizing BEFORE even taking one step down either path. So the present actually diminishes in value through choice regret (the one not chosen has an abstract future embedded value).

“doubted I should ever come back”

<Frost>

Anyway. Sticking with the road metaphor, each present, each ‘one road’ can lead to another, and then another, until you end up very far from where you started. You cannot go back so you may as well value the present decision at the value it deserves – at that time, in that place, you are where you are and go where you will go and never return to that particular present. If you can figure out how to properly value the present, i.e., you don’t lose sight of the value of that moment (the moment in the present), you will most likely have to go back and reassess the decision value (or as I call it “the return on choice’ – ROC ) for any more value than that moment actually deserves.

In the end.

Improving on the present is difficult because you actually have to value the present properly to insure you actually improve it. In addition, we seem to fail to understand you cannot improve the present from a future place – looking back.

Far too often businesses overemphasize speed. They confuse speed with quality, value and, most importantly, agility. This confusion typically leads one to making the most obvious or most popular or the most expedient <speediest> decision rather than the best decision <the one which creates velocity>.

We should always remember that at its core agility is not speed, but rather making haste patiently or festina lente <make haste slowly or patiently>.

Decision making is all about the combination of recognizing the resources at hand, patience and timely haste. Unfortunately, today’s business world is infamous for the efficiently hasty ‘close’ <most expedient choice> and not the patient hunt <for the right choice>.

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“Strategy is turning the resources you have into the power you need, to win the change you want.”

Marshall Ganz

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This infatuation with speed far too often forces us to make decisions based on limited or ambiguous information. The truth is, when done well, decision making and consequences is actually a patient methodical process where at the beginning of the process, when the finer details have yet to be clarified, there is a need to be bolder in our decision-making – particularly because these early decisions have the most far-reaching consequences. With more resources, and knowledge, and have fewer doubts about what to do, there are less fundamental things to decide. This is called the Consequences Model created by the Danish organization theorists Kristian Kreiner and Søren Christensen.

Philosophically, this means the most important question is how we can bridge the chasm between doubt and decision. This shouldn’t be done just by ‘feel’ or ‘gut’ but rather incorporating in some patient assessment. Here is the paradoxical quandary business is in.

Faster good choices are better, i.e., fast AND good.

The problem is there are very few good “choicers” <people who can do the first thought well> available. Yes. Many within an organization believe they are good ‘choicers’ despite more often implementing less than optima choices <and permitting them to make choices has a paradox effect of building additional personal self-esteem as ‘good choicers’ thereby encouraging poor choice making>.

Organizations, to be more efficient & effective, should drive choices <all> to the select few good ‘choicers’ AND incorporate some selective patience amid its haste.

Look. All I am suggesting is that some people are really good at making ‘hastier choices.’ They have that mental clarity that actually improves in hasty moments and the maturity to slow down the moment and say ‘let’s not be so quick to make haste’ <and actually be right about it>. But not everyone is like this.

And, in fact, they are a minority. I imagine the optimal world would be to funnel all choices through this minority. Imagine being the key word because that is an imaginary world. We couldn’t do it.

** note: organizations also need to cultivate people with ‘good choicer’ characteristics because experience actually improves their effectiveness (effectiveness being breadth of experience as well as #’s of trails & errors).

If your life, or your business, has one or two of these people use them, preserve them, foster them and trust them <you will go farther faster than you ever imagined>.

If you do not have the luxury of having one of them around <which by the way you have to learn to manage speed & patience, i.e., master festina lente>.

Look. I don’t like hasty decisions. And decision making has no formula with regard to hasty patience decision making because errors can result from deciding too quickly or by delaying too long.

Too quickly and … well … a decision can be killed in so many ways your head can spin.

Too slowly <too patient> … well … at least by delaying you can watch everything unfold as you watch the decision’s life slowly unravel in the form of lost opportunities or lost <or reduced> benefit from a quicker decision.

Making decisions is difficult, okay, making good decisions is difficult <because anyone can make a decision>. And it does take some experience to become more adept at making decisions especially in a time constrained situation.

Experience is important, and necessary in my view, because effective hasty patience is all about sifting through all the choices available.

Too fast and you die.

Too slow and you die.

That said. Here is what we do know. No one will get this right all the time, therefore, having a distinct brand with a bold, vivid stance in the marketplace creates bridges. Bridges which can keep you from falling into a crevasse on a bad decision and speed you across a crevasse with a good decision. It guarantees velocity as well as increases the odds of survival to have velocity another day.

Velocity, at its core, is about decision utility, i.e., which decision will create the greatest return. I call itReturn on Choice (ROC). In business you face a relentless onslaught of decisions to be made. Jackson & Jackson (How to Speak Human) suggest its over 30,000 decisions each day. Given the sheer quantity, success is often dictated by how well you choose what is important versus what is not as important versus what is not important at all.

Well. Let’s face it. No matter how good you are you will not always get this right.

Well. Let’s face it. We could all become more adept at making choices because, let’s face it, if anything, we seem to have become worse at making thoughtful choices.

There is a direct relationship between ROC and impatience: too impatient poorer ROC & just enough patience higher ROC.

Now. I am all for, and a huge proponent of not dicking around <the technical term for ‘wasting time overthinking’> when a choice needs to be made. But there is a difference between making speedy decisions and making a decision because speed is the main criteria. The latter encourages impatient decision making which lessens decision utility.

This happens for two reasons:

Impatience exacerbates our typically poor prioritization skills

Impatience emphasizes Personal bias

Prioritization skills

Since we live in a world of infinite possibilities, it’s incredibly hard to figure out what to do, when, and where.

If you start thinking this way, well, you begin living in a world strewn with hypotheticals.

If I do A, then this will happen. But what if I do B? Will it be better? Will I get back more? Will everyone around me be more satisfied? Or what about C? That looks good. Oh. But someone suggested D.

You get it. There are 26 letters in the alphabet and while most of us stop way before Z even getting to D can be maddening. It seems like the world is your oyster … everything is possible … but you don’t take advantage of any opportunities because you’re not sure of what’s best.

This is where I remind everyone what US President Dwight D. Eisenhower supposedly said: ‘The most urgent decisions are rarely the most important ones’.

Misreading the urgent from the non-urgent and the important from the unimportant may create impatience at the wrong time and waste energy & focus. Smart Business patience at its most simplest is grounded in the The Eisenhower Matrix. While Stephen Covey is often credited with the decision making matrix it was actually Dwight Eisenhower, considered a master of time management, who developed the matrix.

Decision utility is often driven by effective prioritization what to do do and what not to do.

It is natural we depend on defaults or ‘decision heuristics.’ They are times savers and actually assist ius in more efficiently navigating the 30,000+ decisions we have to make and getting shit done. But. When impatient we get, well, a little lazier. We lean in on our bias which is unfortunate because thinking takes hard work and every choice has opportunity costs. Unfortunately, most of us are not good at assessing ROC <return on choice> when viewing things thru a bias.

Especially when impatient people need to invest in working to eliminate bias.

Invest in developing the choices <and however many we need to feel like we have enough to assess assuming that is a finite number>.

Invest in actually assessing the choices <better, betterest & best assuming a best can be actually identified>.

Invest in the actual choice.

I imagine we are talking about the proper investment in time because organizational impatience leads to the permitting of poor choices <and a quicker death of a thousand cuts>. Maybe even more important is impatience without good investment equals ‘lost velocity.’ Or maybe even worse? Missed velocity.

Dealing with impatience and balancing impatience & patience ain’t for the faint of heart.

Managing decisions is all about a thorough understanding of the decision’s hierarchy of needs, navigating bias & understanding the attributes in a span of time that generates the most rewarding outcome. Being impatient doesn’t mean you ignore this thinking, but rather you incorporate it into your impatience <and it can dictate how patient you are in your impatience>.

I will suggest successful impatient decision making is about having, well, a rigid policy of flexibility.

Ok. Translation. Effective impatient patience is all about mental clarity – creating mental space to see things, feel things, absorb things and make those things into a decision or choice.

When you are facing a choice, making that decision <yes or no, do it or don’t do it>, you go through a cost-benefit check that may last anywhere from a split second to days, weeks, or even months <and yes even months can be an impatient patient choice>.

Such choices come up many times a day and time is a factor in virtually all of them.

It is a constant stream of choices. And each choice can mean the difference between speed & velocity.

It is easy to see how impatience can be abused if we regard life in today’s world as an almost unbroken fast moving river of choices/decisions of which they only represent different paths versus crossroads.

It is easy to see how with everything moving so fast all the time you can actually feel like you are speeding along even without making any good ROC choices. But 99 times out of a 100 there is little velocity, just movement.

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Note:

Velocity is 2 dimensional in what you leverage from and then the choices you make to create a higher decision utility (ROC: Return on Choice). We believe having a distinct vivid brand, and bold brand message, insures your highest ROC .

Speed is the distance traveled over time. I can run around in circles with a lot of speed and cover several miles that way, but I’m not getting anywhere. Velocity measures displacement. It’s direction-aware.

Farnam Street

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My obessesion with velocity means i embrace something called “The Velocity Zone.” The velocity zone has a direct relationship to ‘doing shit’ (progress type projects, not speed/stagnant projects) and “shit with distinction’ (distinct brand messaging & positioning, no ‘bla’/boring/meaninglessness). It is this combination which not embraces generating value but also the velocity necessary to consistently elevate value above competition and the sales associated with doing so.

Velocity

The enemy of velocity are the ‘to do’ lists are endless with lots checked-off, but never get shorter and the people who are working long hours but what is done never seems to create any meaningful progress.

This is speed while being stagnant. It’s like a hamster in a wheel. It’s not only unsatisfying for the people in the wheel, but the business itself doesn’t gain any satisfying results (although managers are usually quite creative in result presentations to make it seem like shit is moving everyone forward).

Velocity is always about decisions. What I mean by that is there is never any lacks of things to do in a business but some just aren’t worth doing.

Inherent to any velocity based progress is distinctiveness. All things being equal, being distinct insures multiplicative effect rather than simply an additive element to everything else happening. This doesn’t men you should seek to be bold or vivid in your positioning & messaging & branding just for the sake of doing so. What it means is that you walk as close to the edge of what your brand character/personality is and bring it to life in as vivid a way as possible. This means you are walking as far away from being ‘bla’ (meaningless gray) as possible.

Now.

Oddly a current business trend, collaboration, gets in the way of gaining desired distinction. Why? 2 reasons:

the issue collaboration faces is many people think it equates to committee, consensus & incrementalism. Distinction SHOULD be a collaborative effort because the closer you get to the edge the more important it is that everyone believes the edge is a good place to be. But this is not a committee or consensus decision unless you seek to edge closer to ‘bla.’

—————–“In my experience, committees can criticize, but they cannot create. Search the parks in all your cities You’ll find no statues of committees.”

David Ogilvy

————————-

Choose your distinction wisely. Not all distinction is distinct, but being distinct matters.

The Velocity Zone

The Velocity Zone is easy to identify but, surprisingly, many businesses find it difficult to get to. they constantly select incremental progress projects inching up above stagnancy but never really getting any meaningful progress. They constantly dream of being distinct and, yet, pragmatically justify some minor attribute as being ‘bold’ trading the opportunity for distinct for ‘bla.’

There’s only one thing I can guarantee in business. The relationship between business success and the Velocity Zone. If you get in this zone, and stay in this zone you will progress. I will not guarantee you will succeed, but I can guarantee you will not fail.

Ok. I am a big ‘find who you are and be it” person. Therefore what I am about to say may seem hypocritical, but I, personally, do not think so.

I don’t think its okay to live a Life that others don’t understand.

Yes.

I said that.

If you live a life that others don’t understand than it is not relatable to anyone. And I mean anyone. That goes far beyond ‘being unique’ or ‘standing up for what I believe in’ … it shifts into the ‘you are out of touch with reality’zone. It means you may be living in a universe of One.

Look. I am certainly not suggesting you have to be what everyone wants or accepts. But I am suggesting that you have to at least be relatable in some form or fashion.

That is … well … having a touchstone with reality.

If you don’t have that, you are simply living a fantasy.

Uhm.

To be clear.

That ain’t good.

Do I believe most people get this <understand this>? Sure.

But when I see quotes like I opened with used in blogs and instagram and pinterest and tumblr and notice how many thumbs ups & likes it has … well … I start wondering if we aren’t making sure young people have a clear perspective on what is truly meant by ‘being yourself is a good thing.’

I tend to believe we mishandle this discussion with young people more often than not.

We older folk either sit on one end of the see saw or the other and ground our ‘be yourself’ discussions on either ‘accept your quirks & flaws as your version of perfection’ or, conversely, ‘here is how to be successful by doing a, b & c.’

We don’t do with this bad intent. I think we do it because this discussion is difficult. It is strewn with nuance and intangibles and vagaries.

Mostly I think we screw I up because we want our young people to ultimately be happy and not disappointed with their lives <and believe encouraging them to be themselves no matter what is an important path to doing so>.

That said … I do think at the root of our discussion we do need to take on ‘disappointment.’

Why?

Because there is a huge difference between being yourself and not having people understand who and what you are and being yourself and disappointing people.

On the latter … people can relate & can understand who and what you are and just choose to be disappointed in you. Therefore, in THEIR disappointment you can judge whether you care or not.

On the former … you have no evaluation of self. You are so far out of the realm of reality people cannot even be disappointed … nor appreciative … they are just … well … offering you nothing <note: this can sometimes lead to being disappointed in self>.

And, by the way, if you are receiving nothing externally then you have nothing from which to build upon internally <approval and acceptance is not the only nutrition necessary for a healthy esteem and worth. It is simply one part of the diet: professional aspirationalist>

Anyway.

This quote made me cringe. I would much rather we simply told our younger folk something like this:

===

“Despite what you may believe, you can disappoint people and still be good enough.

You can make mistakes and still be capable and talented. You can let people down and still be worthwhile and deserving of love.

Not because we’re inadequate or fundamentally inept, but because we’re imperfect and fundamentally human. Expecting anything different is setting yourself up for failure.”

Daniell Koepke

====

Within that quote it certainly permits a young person to embrace being unique … certainly suggests that being relatable in some way is healthy … and that participating in Life <being involved in some interaction and receiving response> is necessary as part of human nature.

I don’t want to make a big deal about this because for the most part I think we do a fairly good job of nudging our young people in the right direction. But. I am a firm believer in ‘teachable moments’ … taking opportunities as they arise to drive a deeper important message so that there is some cognitive connection <which is what really matters>.

I know I immediately turned around when I saw this quote and sent it to a larger group of teachers and mentors of the young and said I would write about it and that using the quote could be an effective way to say ‘I saw this and I was thinking about it.’

Why? Because I think a young person looks at the quote, likes the quote <on its surface>, but doesn’t really think about it on a deeper level. And any opportunity I can use something that a young person actually LIKES to make a point or create a discussion … well … I believe it is one of the most effective ways to create a connection to actually generate true listening.

And that is maybe one of the most important things we can think about when talking with young people … are we simply the teacher in Peanuts <wah … wah … wah > … or have we connected enough that there is true listening.

Anyway.

What I do know for sure is telling some young person that living a Life that no one understands is pretty bad advice.

“Truth itself is an emergent distinction. It’s not a noun; it’s more of a verb.”

Peter Joseph

——————–

I had the privilege to speak with some high school students on a variety of topics … & opinions, facts & truth came up (as, of course, opinions & beliefs were being discussed). I got to share 1 of my favorite quotes.

Look. Far too often we speak of truths in absolutes and, even worse, suggest an individual fact represents truth. Both of these things are actually the nemesis of truth.

Truths are dependent upon knowledge and, well, knowledge is not only contextual to situations but is also evolving as new learning occurs. In other words, truth is emergent.

And for those who state they stand on a fact as truth, to mangle a Dr. Jason Fox thought, “conviction means you become a convict to something.”An individual fact, tightly held, is simply a cage in which you are the convict holding tight on to a conviction of which the only way you get freed is to actually let go of that conviction and seek numerous facts and the knowledge that comes along with them.

In general, when speaking of truth, we should all be annoyed with specificity and simplicity. What I mean by that is a layered truth demands more than the simplistic specificity that can be found in one, individual, fact. Let me define how i view facts, knowledge and truth (and their relationship).

Facts. Facts are everywhere. an individual fact is nice to know but, in isolation, does not represent a full truth.

An absence of a fact is typically the root of any conspiracy theory (or false argument). “There is no proof, it is not” never trumps “there is proof that it is.”

Truth. Truth is a coherence of knowledge (combinations of facts) into a cohesive unit of facts. This means that truth adapts to changing knowledge (not individual facts).

While I’m not sure I got it all exactly right i do believe i was able to get some young people to understand one fact is simply a step toward truth and that truth, itself, is layered and often complex.

This leads me to the societal nemesis of truth – this whole ‘anti-intellectualism’ thing. I honestly don’t understand the whole anti-intellectual thing. I have tried, but the tangled web eludes me. Its quite possible knowledge, which is exponentially different than common sense (which isn’t really that common), is caught up the whole “establishment is bad” thing.

It almost seems like every existing infrastructure, let’s call it ‘establishment’, is being painted as “bad, stupid & incompetent.’ And they are not. Saying all politicians are worthless, or media is all tainted and crooked, or all science is driven by a liberal agenda, is as bad as me saying all old white men are sexist, xenophobic asshats.

We treat establishment as if it is one big conspiracy theory which is a little out of my realm of belief. The victim of this odd attack on establishment and those who have real factual knowledge is, well, truth. Truth is dependent upon facts & knowledge well used and well-honed in the battlefield of thinking & thought. Without it the intellectual debate resides on the superficial surface of anything meaningful.

“Is being an investigator the opposite of being an artist? Maybe it is just that some mysteries require an artist not an investigator. That an artist has different ways to get to the truth.”

Tibetan thought

Ponder this.

The path to truth is not just one path. Sure. I may know one ‘truth.’ But in knowing that I know … well … one thing. And I am sure many people are fine with the knowledge of one truth. And I do not begrudge them of that. For one truth is, at its core, a truth. And I believe everyone needs some truth in their life.

Does knowing more than one truth <if there truly is such a thing> make someone better? Yikes. I don’t believe I could be a good judge of that. Because knowing multiple truths can be confusing and in confusion someone just may not end up in a better place. I guess I would suggest that if multiple truths put you on more solid ground than go for it.

But the real point to this is that someone without YOUR knowledge is more likely to teach you something completely new than someone who shares your knowledge.

And, ultimately, if you are trying to understand the world, or simply solve a problem, to truly learn the answer you may have to turn your back on some things you know and face someone who knows some other facts, has some other knowledge and may even be able to share some new truths.

On a separate note (maybe on my mind because I was speaking with students).

I will say, as I discuss facts, knowledge & truth, I find the entire concept of ‘future-proof skills” absurd. There is no such thing as a future-proof skill. Okay. Maybe active learning (but I don’t think that is a skill). Which leads me to the thing that always makes me chuckle whenever I get pulled into some ‘future skills’ discussion. Its “Technique for Producing Ideas” by James Webb Young. Published in 1940 written by a man who developed these ‘skills’ in the 1920’s. The entire book is about ‘future-proofing skill development.” 1920’s. 1940. 2020. What was, is, and will be.

Anyway.

I would suggest that Truth is a puzzling maze for anyone to navigate — good person or bad person.

Facts come and go. We have as many of them floating around as stars in the sky.

Knowledge demands some creativity in combination of facts (think seeing constellations in a night sky), some hard work (to gather the most appropriate facts) and some wisdom (to discard less relevant facts).

So. This is about Life and tying things up with a colorful bow versus living with some <the> gray. Ok. Let’s call this ‘living with uncertainty.’

Well. Let me state a couple of obvious things about uncertainty. Uncertainty is a bitch. And uncertainty pretty much sums up about 99% of Life.

Bottom line?

Life is certainly uncertain <there is a conundrum>.

Guarantees are never guaranteed. A truth today can be very different than a truth from yesterday.

Control from one moment to the next is slippery, elusive and … well … uncertain … at best.

Now. Despite the fact I want to discuss Life, and gray, I will begin with the human eye because, well, it is interesting and it will help me make a point. The human eye is capable of seeing any shade of gray and a zillion different colors. Ok. Not a zillion. But, in total, the eye can distinguish over 500 shades of grey and over 2.7 million colors <although I found another source that suggested over 5 million colors>. <source: NZ Eye Institute>

By the way <let me digress>. I found it interesting that grey can also bring any color to life.

Apparently grey often contains other colors ranging from yellowish to orangey-brownish to purplish, bluish and greenish grays and, apparently, depending on what hue of gray you use their psychological effects on people can be quite different.

Anyway. I began there because gray has a bad rap in today’s world. Black & white have a significantly better reputation. It is unfortunate because Life exists mostly in a palette of grays. Yes. We live in a world of uncertainties and contextual truths of … well … grays. I imagine that makes ‘vivid color moments’ of clarity that much more special.

Conversely. It can be quite unsettling given the unfortunate fact the majority of time we dwell in the gray.

Looking back on my career, and Life, I have found I can live, if not feel quasi-comfortable, with uncertainty in most things.

Even decisions.

Huh? Well. Honestly a decision is most often a reflection of judgment. It is a choice between alternatives <none of which are solid blacks or whites>. Choices are rarely a simple choice between right and wrong. It is often at best a choice between ‘almost right’ and mostly likely a ‘probably wrong’. And much more often you are making a choice between two choices of which neither is probably more right than the other. This is because ‘right decisions’ tend to grow out of the friction and conflict of divergent thinking <sometimes just opinions> and out of contemplation and consideration of competing alternatives.

We make lots & lots of these decisions. Lots.

Compound that with a thought I read somewhere: ‘every decision is like surgery.’ While we may flippantly suggest that we make decisions and ‘move on’ more often it is an intervention into a system and therefore carries with it the risk of shock, pain & recovery.

Ouch.

This actually means that I receive a vivid, visceral, color response for making a gray decision.

Well. Welcome to Life. And maybe worse? <or at least something to think about>. Your decisions are dabbling in the shades of gray and yet you have to be committed to the decision <which will firmly place actions on a black or white path>, if you want any hope of progress.

Yup. Because, if you do not, nothing will change. You will end up endlessly wandering around outside that ‘box’ <because all the shades of gray actually reside in ‘out of the box thinking’ without any clear or vivid direction>. No one really tells you this, but all the vivid colors and vivid moments and vivid decisions in life actually reside inside the box.

It is inside the box you actually can be an adventurer.

It is inside the box that you make a stand. Make a commitment. Make a decision that provides a little spot color … a little bright light … to the box.

Just think about it a little.

You can go outside the box if you want to but you will most likely end up doing something that seems right to you and maybe feel good. But most likely only because you are outside the box all alone without anyone to criticize or even see. That’s not an adventure. An adventure is a complete experience.

It is inside the box where it happens.

—

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world.

For, indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”

Margaret Mead

—

In dealing with a shades of gray Life you do have to be adventuresome and committed.

I posted the above quote maybe in the first two days I started this whole enlightened conflict site thing. With life mostly made up of shades of gray it is really only the thoughtful committed people who have a chance to bring some color.

The color may not be appealing in some cases, but, who cares? I don’t like everything every small group of committed thoughtful people say or do <and in fact I sometimes, in weaker moments, question whether they are truly thoughtful and maybe they should be committed to some loony bin rather than trying to be people committed to something>.

But then I understand. I understand that their commitment makes me more thoughtful. And I am okay with that. They point out that life does reside in grays, but that greys DO contain other colors and bring colors to Life.

Anyway. In a world in which so much resides in shades of grey I tend to believe it pays to be thoughtful and less flippant about decisions particularly if it truly is an important decision <although I will admit sometimes it is difficult to discern the really important from just ‘the important’ … shit … the grey thing again>. Maybe it helps me to suggest that with so much grey we should remain committed to doing “what is the right thing to do” <versus what maybe everyone else is suggesting be done>.

Why? because it is truly the hope to building some aspect of color into the greys. And maybe that is where I am going with this rambling.

Enlightenment resides in discerning the hues of color found in the greys of Life. The vivid moments are so few and far apart that waiting for them, or investing an entire life to seeking them, means you miss out on the enlightenment life has to offer you. So maybe we should seek to be part of the thoughtful and committed small group of people who don’t bemoan the shades of grey but rather embrace the colors within … and thoughtfully tease the colors out for others to view.

Look. I tend to believe we try far too often to categorize things in black and white – in extremes and binaries. We do so in the attempt for clarity as well as to make it distinct and stand out.

Unfortunately, even with the good intentions, many times truth <and colors> lies somewhere in the middle — in the shades of gray as it were.

Good people can do bad things.

Bad people can do good things.

Bad ideas can end up in good places.

And colors can peek out between the many shades of gray.

Enlightenment can be found ‘in the box of gray’ if we would stop eying the random vivid elusive colors we envision somewhere outside the box.

Look. Inside the box may look a lot like a grey place to reside, but only if you don’t recognize that it is, in fact, within grays that colors reside.

================== “To be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic.It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness.

What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives.

If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places — and there are so many — where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction.

And if we do act, in however small a way, we don’t have to wait for some grand utopian future.The future is an inﬁnite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory.”

–

Howard Zinn

====

“Choice, not chance, determines human destiny.”

–

Robert W. Ellis

==============

“Living in defiance of all that is bad.”

These days I sometimes worry we focus, and dwell, upon the things that could be construed as ‘bad’ in life. Let’s combine that worry with a general belief that things are worse than they are.

The former are things like not liking your job or maybe getting caught up in the grind of life <and feeling like there could be “more” then what you are experiencing>. The latter are things like there are wars everywhere or even that there is some mass murder somewhere in your country everyday. But both seem to be rooted in some form or fashion of, well, a desire for some grand utopian future. A world in which nothing bad would ever happen.

That may sound too grandiose for what we everyday schmucks actually think about and desire, but it isn’t really. It isn’t because while we always want things to better our version of better — those things are most typically not viewed in increments, but rather substantial change. Therein lies the ever unreachable grand uptopian future.

Let’s be clear. “Better”, all by itself, is a slippery little fellow. Better always seems somewhere other than where we are — physically as well as in time. At least it can feel that way sometimes.

I sometimes think this uncomfortable feeling is a reflection of a natural desire for wanting to know what the end looks like and yet the end hasn’t even been written.

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“I’m afraid we’ll always be a book with the end pages ripped out.”

Madisen Kuhn

===

I do believe many people feel uncomfortable being a book with the end pages ripped out. Not only can they not read the ending, but they also feel the inherent incompleteness in their own story as well as Life <because they cannot see the end — this is exactly like doing things at work with no strategy or vision>. Unfortunately for us, within that incompleteness Life, requires us, no, demands us to make choices … day in and day out through an infinite amount of ‘present moments’. And sometimes you will need to make decisions that direct the course of your life and that decision will not be associated with a smiley face or some positive quote you can find on instagram or facebook.

Yikes. It all sounds so frickin’ overwhelming. All these ‘presents’ and ‘choices’ and no smiley faces, well, not just overwhelming but possibly just bad <as in not how I would prefer to live my life>.

Well. This is where defiance comes in. Unless you can live defiant of bad and see the happiness which is not only inherent within life itself, but intertwined in the infinite succession of presents, you are certainly doomed to thinking everything is bad. And if you are defiant I can almost guarantee you will see quite a bit of happiness intertwined throughout your Life and the world’s life. Because if you are defiant you will not overlook the little events.

====

“For most of life, nothing wonderful happens.

If you don’t enjoy getting up and working and finishing your work and sitting down to a meal with family or friends, then the chances are that you’re not going to be very happy. If someone bases his happiness or unhappiness on major events like a great new job, huge amounts of money, a flawlessly happy marriage or a trip to Paris, that person isn’t going to be happy much of the time.

If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness. “

Andy Rooney

==============

Look. While I have written about the fallacy behind “manufacturing happiness’ or the whole idea of ‘purposefully creating happiness’ I do tend to believe you can affect your happiness. It helps if your happiness is more likely dependent upon some realistic expectations, or maybe, viewing the little moments within the larger grind that is known as Life instead of seeking some larger more grand utopian vision of happiness and big events to define happiness.

Let’s say that happiness is built on discrete moments of now.

Uh oh. This means that happiness is driven not only by awareness but some common sense and clarity and there is no secret code. Darn. No secret code. Unfortunately, without a code to offer, I have to offer the unfortunate truth about happiness — you have to do something to gain happiness. Make choices. Choose to go somewhere. Choose to do something. Choose to explore something or somethings < including ideas and opinions>.

Defiantly choose to choose. And choose to live in defiance of all that is bad.

Anyway. I remember reading that JFK once said: “I look forward to an America which will not be afraid of grace and beauty.” Replace America with people … and I agree. Grace & beauty.

Well. Seems awful hard to think about those things if all you see is a bad world in turmoil. Philosophically the way to beat bad is, well, in that infinite succession of moments idea. The world can look pretty frickin’ bad when looking at the larger picture <which is a little weird because while bad things do happen in the larger scheme of things there is less violence in today’s world than almost any time over the past 200+ years>.

The only way to make things NOT look as bad is to manage life in that infinite moments way … that awareness in the present permits you to have some clarity with regard to the good that exists in the here & now.

I mean, well, if you always have your eye on the future or the larger picture you are either living in something unreal <an unwritten but hoped for future> or viewing all things around you assessing threats <the bad stuff> to maintaining your existence and reaching your desires.

Simplistically … if you avoid the succession of moments you have no chance of seeing what exists in that moment.

Defiance is not easy.

It is much much easier to not push back but go along for the ride … wishing it were better than it seems to be.

Defiance is a choice. And that is why I opened with the quote that choice defines destiny not chance.

If you are defiant, and push back, you are more likely to control the destiny of … well … your happiness let alone anything I imagine. The person and life you want to be DOES exist you just have to be defiant in the pursuit of it.

====

One Tree Hill Quote:

“There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroads. The choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days.””

And, of course when faced with the unknown, most of us prefer to turn around and go back.

But, once in a while, people push onto something better. Something found just beyond the pain of going it alone. And just beyond the bravery and courage it takes to let someone in. Or to give someone a second chance.

Something beyond the quiet persistence of a dream. Because, it’s only when you’re tested that you truly discover who you are. And, it’s only when you’re tested that you discover who you can be. The person you want to be does exist; somewhere on the other side of hard work and faith and belief. And, beyond the heartache and fear of what lies ahead.

There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroads.

The choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days.”

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Living life in defiance of bad. Or maybe we should say ‘defiantly pursuing good in life.’For if you are defiant and seek the good … the good can, and will, be seen.