Communication

Sharing your struggle with mental illness is personal, so being open and transparent about mental illness can be extremely difficult. So much of the time there is a lot of shame, embarrassment, and guilt surrounding the struggle with mental illness that many who suffer keep it to themselves. But explaining to others what you are going through allows you to no longer have to hide and wear a mask and it gives you a support system that will help you feel as if you are not alone. I believe that sharing your story of struggle with mental illness can be such a powerful step forward and bring you closer to recovering from mental illness.

We should call the police in a mental health crisis only as a last resort. I spent some time at a psychiatric hospital that used off-duty but uniformed Marion County Sheriff’s Deputies as security. I thought this was a bad idea because many mental health consumers have had bad experiences with the police. Even though I have no criminal record, I have a mild fear of police officers, especially when in crisis, because I’ve seen confrontations end badly (Mental Health Crises and Calling the Police). For example, one night a patient refused to go to his room, and security was summoned. One deputy pulled out his can of pepper spray and yelled, “You want some of this?” That’s one reason why calling the police during a mental health crisis should be a last resort, especially in hospitals.

The first stage of mental illness is denial. It’s also a common symptom of mental illness and a barrier to treatment. So how do you help people in denial of their mental illness? While it may seem hopeless, there’s actually quite a bit that you can do.

Can you consent to abuse? Donald Trump’s recent comments about grabbing women have sparked a question: “If his comments are such a big deal, why is 50 Shades of Grey a bestseller?” The problem is that in the novel, the main character consents to the mistreatment (Abusive Relationships – Why do victims stay?). Whether or not Christian Grey’s conduct is abusive is a subject for another post, but it raises a valid question–Can you consent to abuse?

Last week was National Crime Victims Rights Week, and while at a rally, someone gave me a pamphlet on domestic violence issues in the lesbian, gay, bisexaul, transgender, queer (LGBTQ) community. While domestic violence can affect anyone and can take many forms, the unique forms of domestic violence in the LGBTQ community are rarely discussed. I will focus on three types of domestic violence issues: strict gender roles, access to safe places, and threat of “outing” without consent.

Do you know how to confront an animal hoarder? Animal hoarders keep their secret for as long as they possibly can, but, eventually, it becomes obvious that compassion has obscured reality and intervention becomes necessary (What Is Obsessive Compulsive And Related Disorders in DSM-5?). My mother fosters cats for a couple of Humane Societies in the Greater Indianapolis area. Sometimes, this involves confronting animal hoarders. There are certain techniques that help make the confrontation less stressful for all involved.

There are many ways to have healthy communication. My family’s communication style is not even remotely what I would call healthy. For example, I mentioned I had an upset stomach on Christmas Eve, and my mother said that if that were the case I needed to go home before the festivities started. I took this to mean that I was not welcome and left shortly after gifts were opened. Hurt feelings could have been avoided by phrasing this in a healthy manner (Healthy Communication In Relationships). Here are three ways to have healthy communication.

Feeling misunderstood is one of the most difficult and painful things for people with mental illness. It’s difficult for most everyone, but sometimes our mental illness can make the misunderstanding even more complicated and can even contribute to mental health stigma. Has it ever happened to you? Some event transpires and you are clearly misunderstood by another person, or a group of people? Have you experienced a misunderstanding that has contributed to mental health stigma?

Like it or not, other people often have input in our mental health treatment. For example, my mother once contacted a psychiatrist and told her my symptoms. Without talking to me, the psychiatrist told my mother what changes she would make. I confronted her and she later told my mother I had an attitude problem (ironically enough, this psychiatrist told my mother my borderline personality disorder (BPD) was caused by poor parenting). Long story short, I fired her. But you can’t really blame my mother. She wanted what was best, even if it meant the psychiatrist broke confidentiality in a non-emergency situation. It raises an interesting question: should other people have input in your mental health treatment?

I am in the interesting position of being both a family member of a mentally ill person and being mentally ill myself. It sometimes gives me a unique understanding into both sides of the issues that can arise between the ill person and their family members.