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Bernie’s Big Challenge

Photo by Betty Void

One of the noteworthy early triumphs of Bernie Sanders’ campaign has been his enchantment of millennial voters with degrees from prestigious universities who, though they themselves wouldn’t slum it at a state school, seek free tuition for upcoming matriculators.[1]

Some of these graduates with pedigree degrees whine about the massive debt they’ve incurred seeking humanities diplomas from joints like Columbia, Duke, Stanford, Georgetown, etc. Call me callous, but racking up an ocean of red ink for an English or history or education BA strikes me as demonstrating very poor “critical thinking” skills, or even worse, if you’ve borrowed 200K for an English degree from Columbia, you’ve flunked the basic Darwinian test of financial fitness.

In fact, if you could get into Columbia, chances are you could cop a free ride at the University of New Hampshire or Iowa, graduate summa cum, and with off-the-charts GRE scores, get a Columbia masters for a fraction of the undergraduate expense.

Entitled elitists hankering after socialistic solutions for their elitist mistakes ain’t doing nothing to alleviate the toxic levels of cognitive dissonance poisoning this here Republic founded on rationalism.

In fact, I tip my fedora to Bernie and don’t at all question his sincerity or integrity. He’s certainly won over a wide swathe of white voters in New Hampshire and Iowa who identify as Democrats. Moreover, his campaign’s Olympian transcendence of paltry expectations and dismal early poll numbers suggests that his message resonates. It does, of course, in large part because of the effectiveness of Bernie as medium..

The cat possesses not only credibility but also charisma.[2] His performance among snowy Democratic demographics has been, at least in New Hampshire, spectacular. The day after, right-wingers like Jennifer Rubin at the Washington Post are hyperventilating/salivating at the prospect of “an vowed socialist as the Democratic nominee.”

Now, what Bernie needs to do, and in an awful hurry, is to convince female African American primary voters like the ones pictured above to vote for a Jewish man who doesn’t believe in an anthropomorphic god.

[1] Perhaps, the one-word-for-two EB White rule doesn’t work so well with matriculators. At any rate, I applaud the millennials’ philanthropic spirit.