Big Hair

Admit it - you never threw away those pencil-leg jeans, scrunch socks, or any of your spandex, because you were positive it would all be in style again. Well, tonight it is . . . at Rococo. The "Fast Times" party encourages parachute pants and big hair as DJs Lorne and Reno spin the music of the '80s. Because not everyone wants to step back in time, here are two other options. It is First Friday, and Dr. Octo-pussy returns to TPDS for the monthly "Shock Therapy"; his guest is DJ Dracos.

Hairspray just sticks to you. It's loaded with original tunes you can actually sing. It depicts and projects a '60s sensibility - screwy, a little naive, and pivotal. It's an old-fashioned musical; no zillion people sing in staccato about how they all just got off the train, in a burst of poignant urbanity. In Hairspray, people sing about cooties. (Stop scratching.) It carries a social banner. Our national discussion about race is ongoing, probably will never end, and probably never should.

The big hair of the '80s is back - the nostalgia of teasing and spraying will return when "Hair Ball" unfurls at the Trocadero on Saturday. The party is a celebration of '80s metal, punk and rock music. But understand that there will be more than revelry over hair, black spandex and eyeliner. Mikey of the Primadonnaz and his friends embarked on creating the event because "there was nothing for people who like metal," he says. There appeared to be parties geared to all music genres - goth, dance, hip-hop - except what he and his crew enjoyed.

Maybe you'd like to read a lifestyle magazine - something with decorating tips, recipes, craft ideas - but you don't want your house to look like Dolley Madison went mad with an electric drill and a hot-glue gun. Martha Stewart Living, the excruciatingly tasteful bible of the aspiring-WASP set, is not for you. Perhaps your style runs more to big hair, casino showrooms and leopard-print stretch pants. Honey, have we got a magazine for you! It's Ivana's Living in Style, a cheesily assembled new mag that pays homage to the life of Donald Trump's most famous ex-wife - and offers hints for duplicating her lavish lifestyle on the cheap.

After 24 years as silly ambassadors of hair rawk and home video sex-capades, M?tley Cr?e deserves respect. As the cornstarch in the roux of debauched '80s metal, the Cr?e added thickness to a genre about to go pop while providing the necessary sweeteners to push it there. Yet, by decade's end, M?tley's calling cards - excess, power ballads, Lycra tights - had been revoked. Fans of the sweet, the sour and the spandex - themselves in a land-of-the-lost where teased hair-don'ts rule - sold out the Spectrum Friday night.

WHILE CHASING down one tip, we stumbled upon another. Both involve former Councilman Bill Green . Because it's summer and Bill Green is probably up to something. Something Clout-worthy, not just walking his dog around Pastorius Park. The original tip: We heard that Green, a member of the School Reform Commission, might be teaming up with documentarian and three-time mayoral candidate Sam Katz as part of an independent ticket in the November election. Maybe Green for mayor and Katz for Council?

It's blustery outside when the dismissal bell rings at Archbishop Ryan. Giggling, gabbing, ninth-graders Jen Driscoll and Stephanie Boyle clutch protectively at their short Catholic-school-uniform skirts. As they make their way to the buses lined up on Academy Road, their hair, too, looks whipped by the wind. Or was it the wind? As Jen stops to chat on the sidewalk, it becomes apparent that her blonde shoulder-length blond hair is hardly moving at all. Her short bangs stick out like a stiff awning over her pale green eyes.

Beckett Hollenbach, he of the big-time talent and the big hair, can really stand out on a soccer field. Lower Merion certainly noticed him yesterday. The Haverford High junior scored both of his team's goals as the Fords won an important Central League match, 2-0. Hollenbach's reddish-brown mane is piled on his head, Medusa-style. "I just let it grow into these dreads," said a smiling Hollenbach. "I didn't even brush it today. " He may not work on his head, but Hollenbach has certainly worked on his soccer game.

Thanks to Tim Wise's OpEd column (March 9), I can still believe there is hope for White America. As a black male working for Neumann College in predominantly white Aston, Delaware County, I have observed the "not-my-child" self-delusion among suburban whites - the same delusion that caused Philadelphia to underestimate the Fat Tuesday crowds. The belief that the mostly suburban crowd would somehow be better behaved was evident in the police, political and media response. JAMES A. WILLIAMS, Philadelphia Why hasn't there been a peep from white readers about Tim Wise's column on white teen violence?

MERCEDES DRIVERS FIND THERE IS NO MONTANABAHN Montana has no posted daytime speed limit, but a convoy of Mercedes-Benz test drivers learned that that still doesn't mean you can ignore common sense - or safety. Fifteen drivers for the German automaker were ticketed Thursday on Interstate 90 near Park City after state troopers clocked their convoy at speeds of more than 95 m.p.h. "They all just pulled over one be hind the other," said state Highway Patrol Sgt. Robert Koch. The drivers, apparently testing the cars' performance in Montana's high altitudes, were fined $70 each.

WHILE CHASING down one tip, we stumbled upon another. Both involve former Councilman Bill Green . Because it's summer and Bill Green is probably up to something. Something Clout-worthy, not just walking his dog around Pastorius Park. The original tip: We heard that Green, a member of the School Reform Commission, might be teaming up with documentarian and three-time mayoral candidate Sam Katz as part of an independent ticket in the November election. Maybe Green for mayor and Katz for Council?

At 18, Andrew "Pop" Wansel made a promise to himself. Before he died, he'd work with both Kanye West and Alicia Keys. He did, all before his 30th birthday. The 26-year-old two-time Grammy-winning songwriter/producer sits in his new Old City apartment. His jovial demeanor warms the room, as his arms drape his plush couch. Wansel has just moved in, but the dining room table is topped with enough tableware to be the envy of the next issue of Good Housekeeping. He admits he wasn't the interior designer, but a painting of Jimi Hendrix, one of his earliest influences, at the head of the table reveals Wansel's touch.

Clowns used to scare the daylights out of me. (OK, they still do.) They were uncanny, creepy creatures with the darkest and scariest of souls, - why else, I reasoned, would they need to hide behind so much garish face paint? Seems the Chiodo brothers felt the same way. Born in the Bronx and raised on Long Island, the dynamic filmmaking trio is responsible for the 1988 cult classic Killer Klowns From Outer Space , a delightfully schlocky horror comedy about a race of vicious, bloodthirsty invading aliens who look like circus clowns - but with very sharp teeth.

John Waters brought a lot of his ax collection to Hairspray 's movie grindstone, and Mark O'Donnell and Thomas Meehan's book of the musical makes no attempt to minimize the story's crusades for civil rights, acceptance of differences, and the perennially controversial notion that the big girl with big hair can win the hunkiest boy in town with her big heart. In the Baltimore of 1962, proudly plump Tracy Turnblad (Victoria Mayo) wants to win a spot as a dancer on the Corny Collins TV show, achieve racial integration on television, earn her mother's respect, and fall in love with Elvis knockoff Link Larkin (Nathan Meyer, whose honeyed voice earns the comparison)

Nostalgia for the '80s - big hair, Madonna, cocaine, big hair, Duran Duran, more cocaine - is all well and good. Unless it's practiced with the charmless ineptitude of Take Me Home Tonight . Starring Topher Grace - who, to his career detriment, also gets a "story by" credit - this sloppy comedy is as cheesy and out of date as the era it aspires to celebrate. The art direction and costumes are clearly a conscious choice, but if you're going to look back with affection (and/or irony)

PORN STAR Devon James isn't giving up her 15 minutes of infamy without a fight. According to RadarOnline.com, the former Tiger Woods mistress is shopping an alleged Tiger sex tape to Vivid Entertainment. "The tape is 62 minutes long and 37 minutes of it is us having sex," Devon told Radar Online yesterday. One can only imagine what scintillating conversation fills up the remaining 25 minutes. "This sex tape is worth at least $350,000," Devon said, although if it's really Tiger, and he's really swinging his driver, that estimate seems a little low. But what about this story isn't a little low?

If you've ever seen "Flo," the cheerfully offbeat cashier in Progressive Insurance's ad campaign, you probably know her shtick: that when it comes to auto insurance, Progressive strives to be a little bit different, too. But Progressive's latest attempt to distinguish itself in Pennsylvania - a plan to offer rates based on drivers' habits, determined by connecting wireless monitors to their cars' computers - has run into a roadblock. The Ohio company says its usage-based "MyRate" plan offers drivers in other states, including New Jersey, discounts of up to 30 percent if they drive fewer miles, stay off the roads during the accident-prone hours after midnight, and avoid hard braking.

"You are as fake as the hair on your head!" "My hair is real!" - "Real Housewives of New Jersey" New Jersey is a ready-made reality show character all by itself. Suddenly, the Garden State is big time on TV, if a little prone to spending too much time on hair and makeup, from the über Jersey Shore of MTV to the fondant artistry of Carlo's Bake Shop in Cake Boss, to the wannabe Jerseylicious -ness of Gatsby Salon in Green Brook, where, the tagline goes, big hair meets even bigger personalities.

This year's biggest prom trend isn't the dress. It's the tress. Literally. Local hairstylists are predicting big hair - ? la the boobalicious and bodacious raven-haired "Snooki" from MTV's Jersey Shore - will be the hottest trend on teens on prom night. "Our prom girls are coming in and they want messy buns and tousled hair with bumps," said Tiffany Nurick, a stylist at Heaven and Earth in Lafayette Hill. "It's all about big, loose and not overly styled hair. And you aren't just seeing it in women, you are seeing it in men as well.