Self-forgiveness. Now that’s a tough subject for me; the acceptance of being human which translates into the acceptance of not being perfect.

I’m not quite sure where it all started up for me but I have always hurt when I have fallen short of being perfect. Of course in black in white even I can see the impossibility of success. But we are not talking black and white. We are talking psyche.

Maybe the need to be perfect comes from a compulsive sense of responsibility; if I don’t say or do the right thing then all things can fall apart and I don’t want that. And if that happens, it will all be my fault.

It’s interesting to try to figure out the source of such feelings but it isn’t mandatory in order to change the way we feel and behave.

In my case it started with a continuous dialogue with my own self. “I am not responsible for everything that happens.” “In any situation or relationship, the outcome is the result of the inter-action of all involved.” “There are things that even though I wish them to be different, I am powerless to do so.”

I would like to share the article I’m posting below. It discusses how much sadness and difficulties we create for ourselves because we don’t accept things as they are.

In the article Judith describes the situation of a client of hers who struggled with an unsatisfying relationship with her sister her entire life. The client described to her trying a number of different methods and approaches in order to create some type of relationship. But all her attempts failed because while the client was interested in figuring out how to co-exist and communicate, the sister wasn’t.

As sad as this conclusion is, it is also the truth. We cannot change how others think and feel. Everyone is entitled to their point of view. Now, spending enormous amounts of time trying to change others is our waste of time.

I believe one the hardest feelings we deal with when grief strikes, is the overwhelming sensation of loss. Loss means we had something which we no longer have. Initially, there is nothing positive about it. But, if we are to heal and to change as human beings we must embrace the loss and transform it.

I remember when my husband passed away how I kept saying to myself and others; “There has to be something positive out of this incredible pain. If not, it is complete devastation and I may not survive.” I soon found what was positive for me out of all that I had lost; it was a deeper understanding of love, life, compassion and empathy. As well as becoming more comfortable in my own skin.

Less than I year before from my late husband’ passing, I started the Love Project Inc., a book of our history together and I also added a number of social causes to my agenda.

When we hurt we can either stay in pain and anger or we can turn our scar into a new way of being.

I have never been too keen on dates but August is a difficult month for me. August 15th marks two years of my husband’ passing. August 26th is my forth wedding anniversary but the groom won’t be present.

Without me realizing the weight of these two dates have sneaked up on me and I grief for the man who used to walk around the Silver Lake reservoir singing with me theme songs I had authored for our dog.

Late last night after a long day that involved welcoming my sister and nieces arriving from Brazil, I watched Tony Robbins’s show “Breakthrough” which I had previously recorded. I was interested in seeing what the promos of the show had been advertising for weeks; people with great obstacles being taught and/or shown how to overcome them.

I don’t know much about Tony Robbins. The extend of my knowledge amounts to talking to a few people that have taken his courses, skimming through his books, and catching minutes of commercials or infomercials on TV. The reason I never gave him and his teaching more time than that is because I’ve never been too interested in mathematics when it comes to emotions. Smile and say life is great three times and you will be happy.

I like this article because it discusses the dual world we are living in today. This is the time in our history with the most amount of wars, famine, hatred and destruction. But I also feel this is the time with the greatest amount of possibilities for us to evolve and connect in a different way. While forests are being destroyed the number of people coming together from all of the world to try to stop it is huge. While there are wars and injustices the number of people caring and coming together keeps increasing. There are a number of us that see the hate but choose to find ways to embrace love. There are a number of us that after embracing people all over the world that are like minded, want to find a way to reach out to others that are not like minded a find a world we can all live in.

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By John Robbins

I am someone who longs for world peace. Perhaps you are, too. But every single day our world spends more than $4 billion on war. The last hundred years have been by far the bloodiest in human history.

I support human rights and human dignity. I want every child to grow up healthy and strong. No doubt you do, too. But today, like every day, 20,000 children will die of hunger and poverty. Even in the world’s wealthiest country, the U.S., nearly 25 percent of children live below the poverty line.

I believe in upholding the brotherhood and sisterhood of all people. I believe in the inherent worth of every human being. But we live in a time of grotesque inequalities. There are shoe companies who pay famous athletes $20 million to endorse their shoes, while paying their workers only 20 cents an hour to make them. The CEOs of some companies make more money in an hour than many of the company’s employees make in a year.

Many of the world’s spiritual traditions teach that inner peace is found when you love the world as it is, rather than faulting it for not living up to your expectations. But our addictions are not only damaging our spirits, they are also causing irreparable harm to the biosphere and to humanity’s future.

I believe in holding a positive attitude toward life. But the rate at which forests are disappearing, coral reefs are deteriorating, the arctic ice cap is melting, and species are going extinct is undermining the capacity of the earth to support human life.

I draw strength from my kinship with animals. Some of my best friends have had four legs. Perhaps you, too, have had a relationship with an animal that has enriched you as a human being. But today, almost all of our meat and dairy products come from animals raised under conditions of horrific cruelty…Continued