Megan Fox covers the February issue of Esquire, and I only got through a few paragraphs before I started chuckling. The piece is called “Megan Fox Saves Herself” and it’s all about Megan’s crushing fame and how she wants out of Hollywood and her team has to “force” her into reading scripts and all of that. Now, if this was 2009, I might be more inclined to believe the gist of the story. But it’s 2013, and while Megan is still a commodity, while she still has a fan-base of horny boys and man-boys, she really isn’t a big deal in Hollywood at this point. Producers don’t believe she can carry a film, and directors don’t think she can act. She’s a pretty (plastic) face. She is “The Girl” personified. Always secondary to the action of men. You can read the full Esquire piece here, and here are some highlights:

Megan’s life is totally like the Aztec ritual of human sacrifice: “It’s so similar. It totally is,” she says quietly.

Megan on fame: “I don’t think people understand,” she says. “They all think we should shut the f–k up and stop complaining because you live in a big house or you drive a Bentley. So your life must be so great. What people don’t realize is that fame, whatever your worst experience in high school, when you were being bullied by those ten kids in high school, fame is that, but on a global scale, where you’re being bullied by millions of people constantly.”

She’s read the Bible: “I’ve read the Book of Revelation a million times,” Megan Fox says. “It does not make sense, obviously. It needs to be decoded. What is the dragon? What is the prostitute? What are these things? What is this imagery? What was John seeing? And I was just thinking, What is the Antichrist? When war breaks out in the Holy Land, like it is right now, if that is a sign of the immediate end times, then where are the other signs? Is it possible that it’s the Internet or fame itself or celebrity?”

Details about Megan giving birth: For the birth, she had no doula, no midwife. She left the hospital in just over twenty-four hours.

On her bombshell image: “I felt powerless in that image,” she says. “I didn’t feel powerful. It ate every other part of my personality, not for me but for how people saw me, because there was nothing else to see or know. That devalued me. Because I wasn’t anything. I was an image. I was a picture. I was a pose.”

Removing her Marilyn Monroe tattoo: “I feel like I willed it be gone,” Fox says. “They told me it was going to take six sessions and it’s nearly gone in one. I started reading about her and realized that her life was incredibly difficult. It’s like when you visualize something for your future. I didn’t want to visualize something so negative. She wasn’t powerful at the time. She was sort of like Lindsay. She was an actress who wasn’t reliable, who almost wasn’t insurable…. She had all the potential in the world, and it was squandered. I’m not interested in following in those footsteps.”

Other tattoos may be going soon as well: A quote on her rib cage reads: “There once was a little girl who never knew love until a boy broke her heart.” She thinks it’s stupid now. And she isn’t entirely sure about the line from Nietzsche either: “And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.”

Who she admires now: “Ava Gardner. She had power. She was a broad. She got what she wanted and said what she needed.”

She grew up in a Pentecostal church in Tennessee: “The energy is so intense in the room,” she says, “that you feel like anything can happen. They’re going to hate that I compare it to this, but have you ever watched footage of a Santeria gathering or someone doing voodoo? You know how palpable the energy is? Whatever’s going on there, it’s for real. I have seen magical, crazy things happen. I’ve seen people be healed. Even now, in the church I go to, during Praise and Worship I could feel that I was maybe getting ready to speak in tongues, and I’d have to shut it off because I don’t know what that church would do if I started screaming out in tongues in the back. It feels like a lot of energy coming through the top of your head — I’m going to sound like such a lunatic — and then your whole body is filled with this electric current. And you just start speaking, but you’re not thinking because you have no idea what you’re saying. Words are coming out of your mouth, and you can’t control it. The idea is that it’s a language that only God understands. It’s the language that’s spoken in heaven. It’s called ‘getting the Holy Ghost.’ ”

She’s not into pills & stuff: “I can’t stand pills. I don’t like drinking. I don’t like feeling out of control,” she explains. “I have to feel like I’m in control of my body. And I know what you’re thinking, Then why would I want to go to church and speak in tongues? You have to understand, there I feel safe. I was raised to believe that you’re safe in God’s hands. But I don’t feel safe with myself.”

She believes in aliens and leprechauns: “I believe in all of this stuff. I believe in all of it…. I like believing. I believe in all of these Irish myths, like leprechauns. Not the pot of gold, not the Lucky Charms leprechauns. But maybe was there something in the traditional sense? I believe that this stuff came from somewhere other than people’s imaginations…. We should all believe in leprechauns. I’m a believer….”

There’s a lengthy discussion within the piece – including no quotes from Megan – about how she’s one of the last “bombshells,” how Hollywood needs more women who look like Megan, except Hollywood doesn’t really know what to do with women who look like Megan. It’s an interesting discussion, although I don’t agree with it, especially given that Megan is complaining about feeling “devalued” with that image WHILE POSING LIKE THIS FOR ESQUIRE. But I will say this – even though I rolled my eyes a few times, Megan is growing up and becoming a better a person and better interview. When she was a dumb kid, she talked so much stupid sh-t in interview after interview, and it’s nice to see her move on and become a more professional and genuinely interesting person.

Also: look at her crazy body. These photos were probably taken two months after she gave birth!

Her entire career is based on her beauty. It’s interesting that she actually has some brain cells but she needs to accept that her career is based on her appearance. How is it that people who pursue fame are so shocked by it’s arrival? Too many in HW complain about how hard it is to be famous and completely fail to realize it’s their own doing and it’s very grating to everyday people who have real problems not involving the paparazzi or tabloids.

Agreed. And I absolutely LOATHE this writer. How dare he call Amy Adams perfectly plain? The woman is gorgeous and talented. Megan Fox is plastic and looks like a skeleton gave birth to a fish. Do not knock Adams to make Fox seem relevant!/endrant

I agree. And Megan’s face has become far too frozen and alien for me to think she is beautiful anymore. When I look at her face, I see someone who used to be beautiful. Amy Adams doesn’t have that problem.

Disagree on the bombshell part though, you shouldn’t have to have D cups to be a bombshell. Smaller boobed women are attractive too.

Wtf is up with all her Bible quotes? Did that whole ‘Book of Revelations’ part make sense to anyone else? She acts like one of those people that claims to be really knowledgable on a subject, but when they talk about it they have absolutely no logic or discernible point.

She admits that she’s unsure and has yet to “decode” it (Book). Honestly, I think its refreshing to hear someone like her talk about intelligent topics, rather than the JLos & Goops of the world crowing about how brushing their own teeth is elegant.

I mean really, REALLY, how could ANYONE not know Marilyn Monroe’s back story? Even people who aren’t that interested in her know she’s a tragic figure.

By the same token I don’t think its beyond the realms of possibilty that back when Megan was being hailed as the new Angelina Jolie that there weren’t many ill-advised trips to various tattoo places where she’d merely point at a random picture and say ‘I want that one.’ She probably didn’t even realise it was Marilyn Monroe.

Reading this interview, I actually think it’s worse than that. I mean, she sounds downright crazy. ‘Megan’s life is totally like the Aztec ritual of human sacrifice’? She ‘willed’ her tattoo away? She thinks we should all believe in leprechauns? Seriously, I think this girl needs professional help.

Someone named Megan Fox has never heard of this quote….
“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt”?
My Gog…STFU!
Something tells me that BAG was not in the room for that interview.

Yes Megan please please leave Hollywood.
The only reason she would want out of this business is b/c she knows no one takes her serious and her agent at this point could only get her mediocre roles that no other actresses (good actresses) wants.

BTW didn’t she say she was not going to pose provocative or sexy anymore now that she’s a mom; did I miss something.

no one will ever remember the likes of a megan fox in 5 yrs. no one. I think she’s still unbelievably ignorant & immature mentally. Her interview, though she come off as very ‘try hard’, has no depth to it. Every topic she attempts to ‘discuss’ is more like she’s simply regurgitating the ‘cliff’s notes’ of someone else’s thoughts. Another thing, how the hell do you get a big ass Marilyn Monroe face on your tiny arm, and yet you know NOTHING about the woman’s life or story? It’s odd.

As for being a true old Hollywood ‘bombshell’ I’d actually place a Jessica Chastain type there before Megan. They had curves, faces that move, sex appeal without trying, they were smart…driven, etc.

Megan’s turned herself into a ‘cute’ girl…but one thing plastic surgery cannot buy you is the hutzpah (sp?), the authenticity and power that true star power has. Megan feels devalued and powerless in her faux ‘bombshell image b/c she has none. You don’t get power from jacking up your face. (ask Kim K.) Thats why Kim is constantly looking for validation at every turn…and sadly, Im sure if we were flies on the wall in Megan’s life, her’s would be similar.

Please, why is this talentless nitwit even newsworthy – she had her chance and her crummy adolescent attitude ruined it; as for her “beauty” please go on youtube or the internet type in any of the supermodels or 2nd tier models of the 90s -Naomi,Linda,Christy,Yasmeen,Claudia,Niki, Anneliese Schubert, Chystelle, Emma S., Karen Mulder, etc. – check out their runway shows and photo montages; they blow away today’s so-called “beauties” – and their faces weren’t jacked and they weren’t photoshopped. I’m no expert on fashion and beauty, but the people that are wouldn’t even give this chick a glance.

victoria tabasco I didn’t forget Stephanie there are just too many to mention; even the lesser known ones were stunners by today’s standards; fashionistas worldwide have created a veritable shrine on youtube and internet sites (bellazon and the fashion spot) to everything related to 90s fashion – models, shows, eds, covers, remember when Vogue actually had beautiful covers. It’s amazing that in less than a generation we are talking about Ms. Fox’s “beauty” Linda Evangilista had more beauty in one of her eyelashes than megafarse has in her entire jacked up body.

Ain’t nothing but a BIMBO!!! Regardless, that she’s a wife, and mother, she’s nothing but a PLASTIC BIMBO… Only thing shameful is her showing off her
T & A, and then complaining about it…. Give me a f’ing break… Dumb biotch!!!!!

Ah, Ava Gardner. She might want to take a closer look at Gardner’s life, not sure if “power” is what the woman had. She was absolutely beautiful and quite a character, but her personal life was usually an uncontrolled, volatile mess. Professionally, like like Fox, she was a mediocre actress and commodity. But, she’s a step up from Monroe, I guess…

You’re right.This idiot clearly doesn’t know who Ava gardner was.She clearly was told to say that just like her publicists told her to get rid of the tats,get married,have a kid and start talking about Jesus while posing with her titties out so housewives wouldn’t hate her as much.She is one of those assholes who probably think that all women hate her because she is pretty when really they can see what a stupid vapid phony she is.And the bitch can’t act.Go join your husband on basic cable Megan,where you belong.

Ugh. Just…ugh. I actually kind of liked Megan for awhile there. I still do a little bit. But ugh.

OBVS she’s being a hypocrite here about the bombshell thing. I’m sure plenty of people will comment on that. There’s just not that much to say except yeah…hypocrite.

My bigger annoyance is that she believes in “all of it,” which to me just speaks to a low intelligence. Believing in everything makes no sense…What does Revelations say about leprechauns, Megan? All of it contradicts itself. I know, nobody ever accused Megan Fox of being a genius but she must be one of the bigger dimwits out there.

This is going to give impression that I am defending Megan’s belief ‘in all of it’, which I am, but I will start by adding caveat that I am an atheist. That means I don’t believe in any of it.

From that perspective, if one is to believe in a god and the devil, why not fairies and leprecauns? What makes gods/devils so special that believing in them automatically cancels out belief in other supernatural beings?

I am an atheist too, and I also believe in none of it. This is a consistent position because nothing is contradictory.

To me, believing in the Bible or any other religious book is just as asinine as leprechauns, faeries, the spaghetti monster, or the fabled orbiting tea pot in space. It’s all stupid nonsense in my mind.

However, if you believe in “all of it,” you certainly must believe in things that contradict each other. I’m pretty sure the bible has lots to say about other (false) idols, witchcraft, and other religions. The leprechauns and faeries were part of a religion many years ago.

I find that if you were to believe in JUST leprechauns, however, this would be less stupid than believing in the whole bible, which has inherent contradictions within it, like the other religious texts I am familiar with.

You misinterpreted me as holding religion higher than other crap beliefs and ideologies, which I surely do not.

You’re still taking the premise that I find the belief in the bible more reasonable than the leprechauns, or higher somehow. I am not arguing that a person who believes in god would not also believe in leprechauns, but I’m saying that person has a lower level of intelligence than a person who only believes in a god, because at least that person is consistent in their beliefs. When beliefs are inconsistent, the logical conclusion is then atheism, because why would either be more valid than the other, once you’ve decided one is not the inerrant word of god you thought it was your whole life?

People are indoctrinated to believe in the bible from the time they are children. They are also led to believe in a tooth fairy and an Easter bunny, but those beliefs are often corrected by the same people who indoctrinated them with it.

So take a person with the aforementioned childhood, and it is easy to understand why they believe in their bible. For that person to hear about leprechauns and think “hey, why not?” and come to the conclusion there ARE leprechauns is pretty stupid because if the bible were the inerrant word of god, god would have mentioned the leprechauns, no? Instead of how it already is, where the bible explicitly forbids magic, witchcraft, and false idols of any kind, which you keep skipping over: the bible implicitly forbids believing in leprechauns. They are not included in the magic you speak of in Revelations, not that I have read or heard anyone interpret.

Religion was designed to be the end-all, be-all, encompassing belief system, you should know. Even the leprechaun religion. All religions are designed to be mutually exclusive, so if she came to the conclusion that hers isn’t complete without coming to the conclusion of atheism, she’s an idiot.

As for these “who’s to say…” or “why not…” arguments, well they really take a logical discussion like this off the rails, wouldn’t you say? I am not trying to speculate, I am trying to use reason and logic to understand like a good little skeptic. I’ve read the bible and the other books too, my question is always “why?” and never “why not?”

So, thanks for the great discussion, LAK. I always love engaging in this type of conversation with a fellow nonbeliever

I agree that Hollywood doesn’t really know what to do with women like Megan. It used to work 60 years ago, because the big studios had total control over their actresses, telling them what to do, look, etc. Also, Megan was and isn’t a very good actress, so the movie-roles she will get will always be limited to her looks, something she says to dislike. In other words, if Megan doesn’t want to continue to be in this bombshell category, she would have to stop acting altogether (or get acting lessons to become better and get different roles).

Ugh Megan. I always thought she was so beautiful when she didn’t talk (and before all the surgeries she got done after Transformer 2).

The problem with Megan is that she doesn’t really think she’s that beautiful or hot, but knows she’s not ugly either. I remember reading about Shia saying Megan was uncomfortable with all the sex symbol thing associated with her. She admitted in her FB post that she has insecurities (not exactly those words, but reading between the lines). Judging by all her interviews, she definitely has a low self esteem for such an attractive person.

I hate it when she talks though, because she really does sound weird and not very bright, but I like her that she isn’t so out there like the Kardashians or Lindsay.

She didn’t have a big part in the 40 movie, but yet she’s getting more coverage than the main stars…all due to her looks and popularity.

personal opinion – megan’s whole career so far has been playing Ms. Fanservice. I think the only reason she’s talking about how much she didn’t like being thought of as a “sex symbol” is because she knows it won’t last for much longer.

i think she’s trying to be a better actress (i’ve notices that her acting has gotten better in the past few years), but she still does have a long way to go.

& i agree with some of the previous comments, that a lot of what she’s said in this interview is most likely an attempt to alter the public’s perception of her, rather than it being the actual truth.

She was probably somebody who got too many tattoos too young without much thought to them and now that she’s older she’s going to be spending money and time removing them. That’s why it’s good to let time pass once you get a tattoo idea; you essentially have the rest of your life to make sure you really do like it. Seems like the quotes she got were things she thought sounded ‘deep’ (and made her look ‘deep’ by tattooing them on) and that she got so many tats to look like a bad girl & now she has to undo that now that she’s older. Watch the same thing happen to Miley Cyrus.

Oh my word. Talking about the book of Revelations won’t make her appear any smarter. And talking about how being a bombshell is degrating while having her tits hang out in the cover takes away the last wishful thinking of appearing something else than a dump plastic face.

it takes years to remove a tattoo. much more than six sessions ! maybe she was optimistic about how long it would take, I know many people have been.

as for MF generally, she sounds quite dumb, the Nietzsche quote is rather cool though.

She is dang good-looking and that is why she is famous… no talent whatsoever! Also I HATE it when stars are like, “OH I NEVER MEANT TO BE A SEX SYMBOL.” To look like that you have to work at it 24/7. Please. Come on.

When you don’t know who you are as a person; when you let others define your role in life and you adjust your physical appearance with invasive surgery multiple times, then yes, feeling devalued is part and parcel. But that’s not the fault of those around you. That’s the empty space inside that you were attempting to fill with all of the external validation.

If she really wanted a tattoo of a powerful woman she would get one of Elizabeth Warren or Hillary Clinton or Michelle Obama. But that wouldn’t be sexy enough, I guess. I will believe her when she puts on some clothes. Maybe she’s just high all the time.

iam sorry but wasnt it her that was purring like a sex kitten into jonah hill’s ear abt not being called back at gg awards yesterday?
point is u act like or if u sell a certain type of image u will be called that .period !no one is forcing it on you

She used to be so pretty, but her surgery thing has really messed up her face. It looks like she can’t move it! I was horrified by her face at the golden globes. The procedures have made her look so much older and alien.

She was never a good actress, so she should have NEVER messed with her money maker: her face.

Oh my god, I’m too good looking and can’t take it anymore! The looks open the door, dumb ass, its up to you to back it up with talent and ability. And none of that is exactly shining through at this point.

She is so beautiful. Sometimes I just don’t care if an actor can act because I just like to stare at them. it’s horrible I know but it’s true. Megan is one. Keanu is another. I can really relate to tattoo regret…I have one I’d like lasered off. The first thing I thought was you hate being a bombshell but you are posing like a pin up?? That is very confusing!

I read the whole article and this made me love Megan more. I would have not disclosed the religious stuff, but I would love an archaeological dig with Megan followed by a Bigfoot hunt. She sounds like she’d be fun to hang out with. I think about Ms. Gardner she should have said, ‘she did what she wanted’. I found Ava to be sad and unfulfilled, but she has her right to see her in another light. Love the LIndsay comment; thought really, Linds is the Judy Garland of this era. And her thoughts on Marilyn as to why she removed her tattoo I thought were very interesting.

The fact that she compared Marilyn MONROE to Lindsay Lohan is beyond disgusting. She sounds insane. I think she is actually stupid. Like a really low IQ. Holy Shit I had no idea. Kind of like Paris Hilton but 1,000x worse.

She SAID that she believes there are parallels between LL and MM, because, despite MM’s iconic status NOW, back when she was a star, she had a reputation for being unreliable, unstable and slightly loopy.

You dont need to take it all so seriously! She’s just a kid talking about shit to a magazine.

She’s a young kid, what, 26, and she’s still finding her way. She strikes me as being a genuinely curious, interested person who hasn’t been screwed up by the great big Hollywood machine. Yet.

Her and BAG keep to themselves, haven’t flogged their baby’s pics to the highest bidder, don’t get photographed drunk, don’t run over people in their cars and seeem to have a genuinely touchingly sweet relationship.

So she says dumb stuff? She’s still working it all out! I was dumb as a box of hammers at her age FFS.

I like her too. I like how she speaks her mind even if it’s stuff that isn’t going to be popular and even if it’s stuff she might see as dumb in 10 years. It makes a nice change after Anne Hathaway, Jennifer Aniston and Jennifer Lawrence’s “look how normal and down to earth and wholesome I am please like me pleasepleaseplease” act. I guess that’s why Megan’s growing on me she doesn’t try to suck up to anyone or always try so hard to say what the public want to hear.

I just reeeeally wish she’d leave her naturally pretty face alone. Her face was completely frozen at the golden globes. For the love of god Megan WHY???

I missed the days where we didn’t hear much about this girl and she was irrelevant. Didn’t like her during the height of her career, and I still don’t. She sounds even dumber now. You complain about how you don’t want to be a sex symbol anymore, and then you go and pose half naked for Esquire? Then she talks about how it sucks to be famous because there are more people bullying you. Please cry me a river. There are people who don’t make nearly as much money as you do, who are bullied MUCH WORSE than you are, and they still keep their head held high. What’s your excuse, Megan? Why don’t you take advice from Jessica Alba? She’s self-aware enough to know that she’s not talented and she knows her prime is over, so instead of desperately looking for roles and posing half naked, she’s staying out of the limelight so much and doing her own thing. That’s what you need to do. You’ll never be Ava Gardner or Marilyn Monroe. You can’t act. Do something else with your life and stop trying so hard to sound deep and intellectual. You’re not.

You can literally watch him getting off on the notion that, in conducting this interview the way he did, he gets to subjugate and expose Megan even further. He comes off as a creepy stalker who, frustrated by the fact that he cannot attain her for himself, instead enjoys the illusion of control he has over Megan by conducting the interview and framing it however he likes, seemingly believing he knows her better than she knows herself. I imagine when she read the final version, she got that icky feeling in her stomach. He comes off as completely smug and somehow like a sexual predator.
Not to mention the absurdly offensive way he criticizes actresses who are either less than “bombshells” or who dare to disallow Hollywood from boxing them in the way Fox allowed herself to be boxed in. He has the nerve to suggest the “bombshell” is some sort of sacred cultural institution and that the influx of women in the industry who become successful despite being “less than” or more than bombshells is a sign of cultural and artistic decay, as though it would be better if women remained 2 dimensional sex objects in art and cinema. I love looking at pretty girls as much as anyone, but the suggestion that superficiality and the objectification of women is art as opposed to continued oppression is absolutely insulting.