Only the news you need – bringing you five mainstream and five off-the-wall news stories each day!

1. An emergency board meeting has been called at Real Madrid after Rafael Benitez’s side could only manage a 2-2 draw against Valencia yesterday, with the manager expected to be shown the door as a result.

2. The funeral of former Newcastle goalkeeper Pavel Srnicek is to take place today. The former Czech international passed away last week following a cardiac arrest sustained whilst out jogging in his home town, aged just 47.

3. Arsenal’s Olivier Giroud has rejected claims by former England international Alan Shearer that the Gunners are 3 signings short of being able to mount a serious challenge to win the Premier League title.

4. Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp has revealed he only said three words to his team following their 2-0 defeat at West Ham, but also added ‘it wasn’t the worst game I ever saw in his life’.

5. Leicester City striker Jamie Vardy is to have surgery on a niggling groin injury forcing the Premier League’s record-breaking striker to miss up to two weeks of the Foxes’ season.

6. An Arsenal fan tricked his wife into naming their new born daughter Lanersa, which is Arsenal backwards. Somehow we doubt It’d work if an Inverness Caladonia Thistle fan had tried the same thing (The Daily Mirror).

7. Mario Ballotelli’s agent is attempting to strike a deal which could see the Italian return to Anfield early, could Klopp cope with Super Mario? (The 90th Minute).

8. Ah, Barcelona! Having being made to wait to register new signings, the Catalans have probably sent their administrative team into meltdown since the New Year, as they registered a whopping 77 new players (Joe.co.uk).

9. Hats off to this young West Ham mascot, he did Liverpool defender Dejan Lovren up like a kipper with this classic prank in the tunnel at Upton Park (The Metro).

10. Gary Neville serenades Jamie Carragher with his own version of Adele’s Hello…sort of (YouTube).