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The Magic SOB forum is for posts of story sequences that are frequently vignette-based. Put those here while actual battle reports can go in Reports From the Field.You must talk like James T. Kirk in this forum at all times. Leonard Nimoy is fine too.

“Good evening, Dr. Pang Ph.D, director of the Trattorian National Academy for the Life Sciences and chair of the government biology department,” Siri greeted as she walked towards his desk.

Dr. Pang replied “Thank you for using my full title, Kaiserin Siri. I have some work that I need to finish, so please make whatever you request of me quick and efficient.”

“Well, I’m going to need you to get out of that chair. I also need you to brief me on how Operation Grayscale is going, how close you are to the objective, etc.”

Dr. Pang sighed momentarily, before complying with her demands. “I acquiesce, my lady. Although I still really need to finish those lab reports.”

“You can finish them once you have told me how Grayscale is going,” Siri commented on the way out.

Dr. Pang had insisted that his office be near his laboratories- it didn’t take the two figures long to arrive at their destination.

“Welcome to Soledad Biological Laboratory R369, where we are conducting experiments related to Operation Grayscale,” Dr. Pang announced as he and Siri approached the experiment.

“Doesn’t seem too impressive,” muttered Siri.

“I heard that, and I don’t appreciate you belittling our efforts,” reprimanded Dr. Pang. “In any case, behold our experiment to wipe out Rainbow-Transparent! As you have commanded, I and my subordinate researchers are attempting to cure the terrible effects of Rainbow-Transparent, perhaps even create a vaccine-esque substance that could stop it entirely. While it is true that Rainbow-Transparent is nothing like we have seen before, a truly intractable piece of pwny ‘magic’...”-Dr. Pang coughed and choked a little upon saying that word- “we still believe we can find the laws it obeys and bend them to our advantage- specifically, by negating its effects. Here we have patient zero strapped to a lab table, the original user of Rainbow-Transparent.”

“I myself have personally devised and overseen the development of a variety of new pharmaceuticals in the hopes of combatting Rainbow-Transparent. This here is methyl 2-phenyl-2-piperidin-2-ylacetate, a prescription that has recently been proven effective in instantly reducing the reproductive drive of all other species.

“This is the exciting part, now he is proceeding with the injection. The moment of truth is finally coming.”

“Does this seriously excite you?” Siri interrupted. “This is as boring as watching paint dry on a wall.”

While Siri and Dr. Pang bickered about the entertainment value of science, the biologist continued to work, carefully grasping a vial of Rainbow-Transparent.

Siri and Dr. Pang stopped their argument, however, as they saw a small woman being thrown into the room.

“Oh, about her? She’s just a chemicals corporation CEO, caught using rainbow-transparent and kissing an employee. Sad how far up the ladder this stupid plague has crept,” Dr. Pang regretted.

The CEO kept insisting on her innocence as the Hazmat troopers prodded her forward. “It was just one small fling- how bad could it be to the Trattorian state and the company?”. The trooper, as mandated by the Trattorian Human Test Subjects Protocol, stayed quiet.

Meanwhile, the biologist made motions as a warning as he opened the rainbow-transparent vial, spreading the noxious vanilla-pineapple fumes over the male test subject.

“Good, good, the male test subject is approaching the female test subject, they are shaking hands and having civil interactions. Perhaps this drug has worked?” Dr. Pang hoped.

“Ahhh-my eyes!” screamed Dr. Pang as the experiment took a turn for the worst. As his subordinate researchers also averted their eyes, though, and he subsequently reprimanded them. “You scientists are losing precious data!”.

The other scientists ignored him, squirming on the floor and mentally-scarred for their lives.

Dr. Pang felt a bit sheepish as he returned to his office under the weighted glare of Siri.

“I apologize, my madam, for the rather terrible scene. I assure you I will not demonstrate another such failed experimental trial within your sight.”

“I don’t care this time, Dr. Pang. But you need to find that cure for Rainbow-Transparent soon, or else this whole nation is going down back into the stone ages or worse. And you know just as well as I do that Trattorians are incapable of pregnancy- once some people attempt to reproduce naturally, our whole race faces extinction. And remember the rewards for finding that solution.”

Dr. Pang took his nearest Nobel Prize off its shelf, examining the golden medal resting in its lustrous box.

“Get the cure, get all of Trattoria’s nomination votes for the Nobel Prize in Medicine. I know, I know- I already have six, a seventh would ruin the nice organization I have on these shelves.”

Dr. Pang set his eyes on Siri, staring at her intently and lowering his voice. “Rather, I want the directorship, to be the chief scientist of all projects and research in this nation.”

Siri’s frown deepened its angle somewhat. “Well, I’m not sure if I can force Dr. Liang to resign so soon after I appointed her. She did, after all, discover the Theory of Everything...”

Dr. Pang lowered his Nobel Prize. “I have won six, and she has won one. I have worked many years, achieving a myriad of great services to our scientific community while she has only one accomplishment to her name. If I discover the cure for Rainbow-Transparent, I will seize the directorship with or without your permission.”