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I would like to begin by saying - I love my friends but I hate bridesmaids. I love my friends but I HATE BRIDESMAIDS!

I'm lucky enough to be in a very tight-knit group of girls. Some of us are going on 12+ years together. And throughout these years we've faced boyfriend/girlfriend troubles, being roommates, lesbian crisis, "stealing" boyfriends, going slightly crazy, and babies. And thru all of that we've held strong with being friends. I must say that my friends are wonderfully understanding and loving people and I truly feel blessed that each of them are in my life.

But then these wonderful smart AMAZING women become bridesmaids and these same ladies morph into snarling treacherous beasts! It happened with my wedding and I thought surely this was just some fluke. I was the first of our group to be married and obviously the girls just didn't know proper protocol. So now that we all have that under our belts wedding #2 will be a breeze right?

I'm currently under attack by ants. These beings are mean, strong, and they have no conscience for anything else's life. They have a plan and they will carry it out - big 'elfin poison be damned - they are coming through.

Every time I get bitten (on my couch, in my bed, EVERYWHERE) I suddenly have traumatic flashbacks to when I was a freshman in high school. My group of friends always sat outside during our lunch period. And being the social outcasts that we were, we sat as far away on the ground from everyone else that we could. On this particular sunny day I remember vividly having an EXTREMELY difficult math test the next period given by the worst teacher I have ever encountered. (We'll call her Ms. B) I mean this was the type of woman that I believe got her jollies by making everyone around her miserable. So I didn't pay attention to my surroundings - I was far too busy trying to shove any last piece of information into my brain that I could. The bell ran…

When you're bustin' chops for a two year old's birthday. That's right friends and foes my little babe has turned two. For a month we planned this little person's party - a month. I had home-made banners, themed games, all the snacks/cups/etc were theme oriented. (The theme was Yo Gabba Gabba btw.) And the cake! Oh it was a beautiful beautiful cake that took longer to make than it really should. (Can we say being up at 3am making funny-childish pictures in fondant?) And while setting up for the party I would look around and feel a great sense of accomplishment.

4 Hours Before the Party:
Things are going swimmingly. I have everything prepared that can be. Now it's just the wait for 2 hours before the party to make the sandwiches/drinks/appetizers.

2 Hours Before the Party:
It's about time to start getting ready for the party and to start making all of the food. (I'm still in pajamas.) I start heading toward the bath when what's this? A knock …