Condom-Carrying iPhone Case Guarantees You’ll Go Home Alone

True story: When I was around 14 years old, there was a kid who would come to school sometimes already wearing a condom. His reason? In case he suddenly got lucky. Needless to say, this never happened. If this kid is still around today, I imagine he’ll be the first in line for the Playa Case, an iPhone case which has a slide-open compartment for two condoms. Classy.

Now, a condom in your wallet I can understand: that’s just smart and responsible, and socially normal. I keep one in there until it perishes to dust, and then I replace it. But a condom-carrying iPhone case is just desperate, and in using one you will appear to prospective partners as a childish, over-eager little puppy. Let’s be blunt: You will not get laid.

But with a little modification (removing the lame “Playa” logo from the back with sandpaper, for starters), this could actually be a neat and useful case. The compartment could keep a little cash, or your keys, or even (for the nerdy) a camera connection kit for your iPad. Perfect for a night out on the town, leaving your wallet at home.

But as your wallet is at home, where do you keep your rubber? Take a look at your jeans, little man. See the little pocket on the right front side, the one that sits inside the other larger pocket like Alien’s toothy, nested mouths? That’s a condom pocket, and us old folks have been keeping our prophylactics in them since before cellphones, condom vending machines and ATMs even existed.

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This is actually a good thing. Keeping a condom in your wallet actually destroys it. this is a step up as it protects it from physical damage, but heat damage will still be an issue. It is best to keep condoms in a cool dark place.

Jonathan Ober

This is actually a good thing. Keeping a condom in your wallet actually destroys it. this is a step up as it protects it from physical damage, but heat damage will still be an issue. It is best to keep condoms in a cool dark place.

so not inside a woman’s v*— :( but that’s the best place for them.

Flyphoenix

This is stupid.

happysimplemodern

Unless you go around opening the case in front of people to show off your stash of prophylactics, how is anyone going to know what’s inside it? I mean, anyone besides those of us that have read this article. The “Playa” label does suggest “delusional douchebag”, however.