On the one hand, they claim to have found the tomb of Jesus and his family, where Jesus’ body was moved from its temporary grave after the crucifixion. But on the other hand, they claim the Patio Tomb, all of 45m away (in a tomb they speculate may have been on the property of Joseph of Arimathea), “represent[s] archeological evidence related to faith in Jesus’ resurrection from the dead—presumably by his contemporary 1st century followers.” So let me get this straight: Jesus’ contemporary 1st century followers who were buried next to Jesus’ dead body believed in the resurrection of Jesus? How exactly does that work?

If nothing else shows just how far Tabor and Jacobovici’s publicity-baiting will go, this outright contradiction makes it very clear: apparently they want us to believe the earliest Christian disciples believed that the Jesus whose body was decaying in a well-marked tomb a stone’s throw away had been raised from the dead. It would take more faith to buy that story than to believe Jesus was resurrected in the first place.

You can’t argue that the archaeological evidence supports claims that he’s dead and buried with his family, and then argue that the archaeological evidence supports claims that he’s resurrected.

This morning, while I was making toast, I received what I believe to be a sign from God.

The “Sign of Jonah” appeared on my morning toast, irrefutable evidence that Simcha Jacobovici and Dr. James Tabor are correct about their claim to have discovered an ossuary with a ‘great fish’ inscribed on it, offering the “the earliest archaeological record of Christians ever found.”

My young daughter said that it looked like a fish, so it passed the “Talitha test,” thereby confirming that it’s a fish.

Note very natural pats of butter all around the edges. Unfortunately, my tech assistant accidentally rotated the toast 90 degrees to make it fit better on the plate, but if you would have bought my book and read it, you’d have known that it’s disoriented.