Autodidact: (n) a self-taught person. Poet: (n) a person who writes poetry.
Autodidactpoet: (n) A blog full of thoughts from a self-taught writer.

Monday, July 1, 2013

To the Ohio Lawmakers...

I wrote half of this post when I woke up at 6:15 this
morning, purely because I was so immediately outraged that I had to do
something about it.Are you aware ofthis?

Are you ANGRY about this?I'm angry.I quite angry, actually.I'm angry, and I'm hurt, and it literally
makes me feel sick.I'm tired of reading
things like this.Here's my list of why:

(1) Because it could have been me.I could have been the woman who was raped,
alone, and seeking an abortion.Because
the last thing I would have needed would have been a white, male legislator
telling me what I can or can't do with my body.

(2) Because one day, I want to have a daughter, and I want
to raise her such that she knows with unequivocal certainty that her glorious body
belongs to her.Always.Every inch of it.I want her to know that every single choice
she makes regarding what she does with it, who she shares it with, what medical
procedure she has done to it, is her own choice.Always.

(3) Because I want to raise a daughter in a culture that
does not perpetuate rape.If that isn't
possible, I want to at least be able to teach her that if some asshole
boyfriend, or husband, or date, or stranger violates her precious flesh, that
the legislators of her state and her nation have her back.I want her to know that, when she is feeling
raw, and vulnerable, and violated, and like every inch of her soul has been stepped
on and exposed...I want her to know that at the very least the lawmakers in our
country respect her body, her integrity, her autonomy, and her right to choose.

(4) Because rape crisis centers are vital, and not just for
the information they provide about access to abortion and women's right to
choose.When a person is raped --
whether it was yesterday or 20 years ago -- a rape crisis center can provide
the absolutely vital therapy that is needed to deal with the crisis.They provide support like hospital accompaniment
and a friendly, supportive face when facing an abuser in court.They provide education.Most importantly, these services are free.Can a survivor seek therapy and other
supportive services elsewhere?Sometimes.But frankly, it's hard
without insurance. Even with insurance,
or with the ability to pay, or with access to low-cost/sliding scale clinics,
there is absolutely no assurance that the survivor will get what she
needs.As a savvy student without decent
healthcare, I was able to find therapy services when I needed them...but it
wasn't helpful.It wasn't helpful
because the therapist I saw, in spite of her website and supposed credentials,
was NOT competent in working with young women dealing with trauma.As a result?I was further hurt, and traumatized, and I decided to stop going and not
to seek help.It wasn't until I attended
therapy at a rape crisis center almost 2 years later that I received the
support I so desperately needed.The
people there -- they get it.There is no
judgment, there is no shame, no surprise--just support, and assistance, and
kindness.And now, because a handful of
old white men in suits have decided that they know what's best for people with
vaginas in the state of Ohio, they want to cut funding.Because a handful of old white men in suits
have decided that they don't want women in crisis to receive education
regarding their choices, they want to take that funding away.I fully believe that one of the best things
we can do for people who have been raped is provide them with 6 months of free
therapy.

(5) Because violence against women is perpetuated by the
belief that my body is not my own.If a
group of men in an office can sign off on a bill telling me what I can and
can't do with my body, then it isn't really such a far jump for the man I'm
dating to tell me what I should do with it, is it?If a bunch of men I will never meet can make
a law taking away my right to choose, then is it really unreasonable to believe
that my husband or boyfriend will never question my right to say yes, or no, or
maybe later, or never do that again?Is
it really unbelievable that, if a group of men makes decisions on matters
affecting only women, and regulates our ability to decide what is right and
good and appropriate for OUR BODIES...is it REALLY unbelievable that a guy I
have just met will not have the implicit sense that touching me when I say stop
is wrong?

(6) Also, Planned Parenthood.Taking away Planned Parenthood so that women
don't get abortions is like shutting down all fitness centers because you want
people to be healthy.It doesn't make
any sense.Build the gyms, people will
exercise, people will be healthy (more frequently).Fund Planned Parenthood, people have access
to necessary services and health care, people won't need to seek abortions (as
frequently).Okay, so maybe that analogy
isn't quite as smooth as I would like it to be, but you get my point.

(7) "But Autodidact," you say, "this is in
Ohio.You don't live in Ohio."You're right.But I used to live in Ohio.I
have friends that I love in Ohio.And
even if this was taking place in Oklahoma or Kansas or Montana, or someplace
where neither you nor I have lived, it doesn't matter.It shouldn't matter.Violations of autonomy and choice that are
occurring anywhere are violations for all of us.Things won't change until we are ALL
experiencing the right to choose and the right to safety, dignity, and
autonomy.Today it's Ohio.Yesterday it was Texas, tomorrow it's
somewhere else.Unless we stop it.I don't know how that happens.The only thing I know how to do is write
angry poems and ramble angrily on a blog nobody will read.But dammit, if that's all I can do, that's
what I will do.

(8) Because people are able to distance themselves and think
that things like this aren't personal. But it is personal.The more I talk to women about my own
experience, the more I hear women say, "me too."I'm tired of hearing "me too."I'm tired of saying "me too."I'm tired of news stories that tell me that
things aren't changing.I'm tired of
knowing that I am one of 3 daughters, and I'm tired of trying to educate my
sisters louder than society can undo my teaching.I'm tired of wondering how I will ever be
able to raise a daughter in this world.I'm tired of wondering how we can teach our sons to be different when
the position of the men in power doesn't change.

(9) Because I even have to write this post.Because I have to wrestle with these words
and the ways to explain what is seething inside me, and because some people
just won't get it.

Luckily, there are awesome people like the poet Lauren
Zuniga who do.Her poem,
"Personhood," is amazing:Personhood

About Me

"My continuing passion is to part a curtain,
that invisible shadow that falls between people,
the veil of indifference to each other's presence,
each other's wonder, each other's human plight."
Eudora Welty