miércoles, 3 de febrero de 2010

A Loophole

Despite my having lived here for almost five years and counting, decent Spanish and pretty acceptable taco-handling skills, I am still mostly viewed as an outsider...

Suppose, many of us immigrants find ourselves in this situation: we live in our new country for quite a while, and start feeling attached to it, as a new home, we care more and more about what is going on there, have our opinions... still, when it comes to voicing them... it's becoming more complicated because the reaction of the people you talk to may vary from "yeah, you are right... (you superiour, high-horse riding brat!..) I feel that way too..." to outright "well, if you hate it so much here, so why don't you go back home?!".. What they don't understand is that there's not much to go back to.

I am not an expat, I am not here just to work for a few years for my company and then return with more money in my pocket. The decision to move was made consiously (well, sort of..) and for good reasons (kinda..), and most bridges are long burnt. No one knows how life will change in a few years, but for now it is my home and my heart is bleeding for everything that is wrong with it.

Maybe I am imagining things? I was taught to never impose my point of view on anybody or hurt anyone's feelings, so I might be too sensitive about it.How do you deal with it? And our hosts, what is your reaction when someone points out the problems in your country that you are very aware of yourselves?

3 comentarios:

Well, if it comes from a tourist, i think his/her point of view might be at least neutral... and for those whom live here... well, i take it as any other comment from any mexican... as you've said, this is your home, and you have every right to be heard just like everyone ;).. Tk care, baee

Sweetie, I understand so well what you mean... Can't say I'm feeling this way for Austria (not yet), but with Sweden it was like that... Though Swedish people, you know yourself -- they rarely tell you in the face they are insulted/appalled by your comments and why don't you go back to you home country. Apropo which, yes, there's not much going back to, even if you are not an expat, it's simply that you've built your life somewhere else. I've realized now that the largest part of my at least working life has been abroad -- Sweden and now Austria. But it's rather common to people in general to think that they can criticize their country/their family/their children, but not the others, especially the outsiders, so to speak (not that you are an outsider, but you came from the outside :) Sad, after all.