Dear Thieves, looking for some quick information and reasoning in the GW2 story.

Been playing GW2 a few days a week every other week when I have free time, and I've only had two characters that I've kept. A 39 Human Elementalist, and a 48 Human Ranger.

Read a little bit of the Guild Wars 2 wiki and classes, but they weren't very informative, and I'm aiming to make my next highly-motivated character a Thief.

My highest Sylvari I remember was in the late 20's early 30's area.
Highest Norn was end teens somewhere.
Asura, I don't think I got past the mid-teens.
And I haven't made a Charr yet.

I've read a blog posts on my lunch breaks suggesting that;
Humans are for beginners to the series.

Charr are for players who are familiar with the game.

Norn are for players who enjoy exploring and adventure.

Sylvari are for players who seek in-depth story driven quests.

Asura are for those who constantly prefer humour and comedy as they explore the world.

1: I've been curious on how true this is, and if I'm missing anything that's not mention up above, what is it? (Without spoiling story quests.)

I prefer Humans because they're more attractive and are scaled properly more so than the other classes as far as armor and weapons go, but their story seems sort of... Bland, linear, stereotypical Humans in Fantasy games that have several races to choose.

Asura, my only complaint is visually on how short they are, and unattractive they look with armor. I understand they're suppose to be amusing, and they fit it well with the armor.

Norn, honestly, the female voices scare me other than Eir's... I feel like I'm going to get... "poked" by one of them and whisper in my ear naughty things and tell me to call her Butch...

Charr, the introduction cut scene and their theme music I F***ing adore and love. They're looks, and how they're hunched over, sort of ruin it for me.

Sylvari... Sylvari... Sylvari... I'm split on them. The intro area was interesting in story, looks, feels. The area afterwards was a little less interesting, felt more like I was a Janitor clearing the Undead, clearing spiders, and helping the Fernhounds. Cosmetically, very different, and in a good, awesome, amazing way. Very Unique and lovely. Being able to choose between Leaf-styled skin, or bark-styled skin. The types of hair, bioluminescence effects.

Now, I come from several types of MMO's and RPG's. Final Fantasy, WoW, Aion, Rift, SWTOR, WAR, Golden Sun series, and so on.

From the SWTOR story, Twi'lek I adore. Smuggler story I loved so much, but gameplay, was, well, could be improved, not my favorite, but very enjoyable still to ignore. Imperial Agent was probably my preferred class if I had to choose just one.

2: Based on the above, and possibly other information that anyone else may bring up, what do you all suggest would fit the Thief profession as far as a new experience goes for?

Not really looking for a "Omg, I can't decide, please choose for me." Mainly just looking for information that I don't really have a whole lot of spare time on reading entire novels, full wiki pages, and horribly done review pages and videos that played the game for 10 minutes.

My answer is based on what you liked in wow mostly. I would say Sylvari or Norn. Basically Norn are a mix between Dwarf, Troll, Night Elf, and Tauren. Mostly in the sense that they love ale and adventures. The Norn also have their spirit guardians that they worship and they feel a lot like the druid or shaman society but each animal has a different twist on your characters personality. Sylvari is a mix between Night Elf, Undead and Tauren. I would say they are like undead in the sense that they are new to the world and searching for their place in it. They are like the Night Elf and Tauren because they feel obligated to protect the world from threats.

Personally these two races are my favorite story wise but I really dislike the male Sylvari animations. The female Norn voice bothers me as well. So I would say choose male Norn or Female Sylvari.

Also I know you said you think Asura are ugly BUT their area is gorgeous I think it is the best looking area in the game. I also thought the Asura were ugly until I spent a lot of time designing one and I love my Asura guardian. Lets just say they are really easy to make look ugly but if you spend a lot of time they can be cute. I wouldn't play one if I wanted to play as a BA though.

Charr have a great area but if you don't like the hunch I can't help you there. Most the time they run on fours so you don't see the hunch unless you are in combat :/ I love their story though so if you are looking for a story I would give them a chance.

EDIT: Just in case you were wondering I play a Human Thief. Mostly for aesthetics though. I can't say I would play another Human character because they have the least interesting story. They do have a good looking city though.