I Leave it All to the Cat, I Guess

If there’s one thing I hate more than children, it’s nothing, because I hate children.

Not on an individual level, mind you. Individual children are unique, with some more bearable than others. However, the general concept and the ideas attached to that concept? I do not care for them, not even slightly. I actually had to sit through an entire conversation with my friends the other day where they were talking about when they’d have kids, and what would happen to them if they died (themselves, not the kids).

I blame Marv for that macabre conversation topic, because they’re always his fault. That’s why he’s Macabre Marv. Anyway, Jenn said that daddy had already hooked her up with a firm in Melbourne, succession planning strategies and the likes. She never has to worry about legal matters ever again. I bet she had a will made up for her when she was five, because her parents are loaded beyond loaded and they have lawyers for every tiny little thing. Of course, Jenn has to let us know it all the time.

Obviously Sarah and Kevin were all gushing about how they’d do their best to stay safe so their little future children would have a loving mum and dad who’d raise them right and love them dearly and other stuff that makes me feel seriously ill. So I guess love makes you invincible then. No custom for any of the attorneys or lawyers in Melbourne while these two are alive…which will be forever because they’re in LOVE.

That just left Anita, who’s obviously prepared for this because she’s prepared for absolutely anything, up to and including an outbreak of deadly measles and the news that the President of the country is slowly turning into a zombie. So she’s already looked up all the good executors of will and their services in Melbourne, ranked them in order of efficiency, will creation ability, proximity to all the sixteen possible places where she could be buying a home, and whether her future partner would agree to making a will with them.

And here’s me, all just…nah. No kids. No wills. No lawyers. Everyone just take my stuff, if you really want it.