Parenting in crisis mode

Chaos. Stress. To be expected in modern parenting and life, no doubt. My family and I have been peppered with major changes that can best be categorized as wallops in the past month. I’ve been forced to severely curtail my selfish ways and be more helpful and loving. On this one, I realized that having a crisis sent my way helped me figure out I need to help my family more. No talk (or beer) therapy needed. My current state is, “Who has time for that, anyways?” which will likely pass. Feel free to share in the comments if a sudden, unexpected change in your plans has ever forced you into an a-ha! moment as a parent/partner.

chroniclebooks.com

Sound advice …

Without getting all braggy that I suddenly have some awesome mental fortitude or that I, you know, “don’t sweat the small stuff!”, I can say that my current crisis mode has helped me prioritize, and stop slacking as a parent. Within a few quick days of adapting to the changes, I realized how selfish I had been as a parent and wife/partner. My often grumpy routine until these changes was trying to catch some Zzzzzs most weekdays rather than help my husband and son in the morning. Before I get slaughtered in the comments, please know that my main reason for sleeping in was to counter the effects of some terrible insomnia. Running on two or three hours of sleep makes me want to cry, and it’s difficult to keep up with work and life in that state.

There have been other surprising improvements: magically I am able to now stick to a budget and spend way less. Before our change of plans happened, my husband and I would have occasional spats on budgeting and money that left us both frustrated. We would talk about making and sticking to a budget, but I would still find ways to spend on things I thought I could rationalize to myself later. My desire to find more (and more stable) work is huge. I bill myself as a non-traditional working type who thrives on change, but lately, stability seems to have more appeal.

I don’t have as much time to surf the Internet at night, or drink my beer in front of the sleazy TV in my free time. Those are definitely fun distractions and have a place in my life, but I’ve scaled back in favor of more family interaction. Lately, I’d rather crank out some home cooked food or push cars around on the floor with Cipriano at the end of the work day. I still get irritated and grumpy over things, but try to nag or yell less. That’s always going to be an area for improvement for me. But I’m trying.

MARY LADD lives in San Francisco’s Mission District with her toddler son and husband. She tweets at twitter.com/mladdfood and is a freelance writer, cook and tour guide.