How To Respond To A Girl Who Dumps You Over Facebook

Many commenters ran with yesterday’s post about a girl who dumps a beta over Facebook and then reads his pitiful reply to a group of people at a house party who relish the opportunity to cruelly twist the knife. While the post was only meant as a report from the trenches of the modern mating scene, the commenters wisely treated it as if it were a test of their game, trying to figure out how best to answer a hypothetical email from a girl dumping them. I have looked at some of the suggestions and made a decision which are the best replies.

#1: No response. (Credit: Gorbachev)

90% of the time, and in 90% of situations, this will be your best option. Radio silence is a failsafe method for causing reckless hamster spin in a woman’s headspace. You have got to understand a couple of things about women and breaking up.

One, women initiate most breakups. I have read it is on the order of 75-85% of all breakups. Women also initiate 2/3rds to 3/4ths or more of all divorces.

Two, women secretly get a thrill out of the power they wield as society’s de facto hypergamous dumpers. When a woman dumps a man, she wants to know she got to him. Though she will never admit it, the act of gettting to a man is a blissful ego massage for the typical woman. Men are not like this (at least most of them). Talk to any man who has dumped women in the past for shallow reasons and he will tell you it was a distinctly uncomfortable experience, and he would have rather just kept her in his rotation, stringing her along forever instead of cutting the cord.

Knowing these two salient points about women and breaking up, it is in your interest as a man to deny any woman dumping you the satisfaction of your butthurt reaction. Why? Because reaction = beta. The alpha male with options galore doesn’t sweat any one break-up. Since women subconsciously know this about alpha males, they get flustered when their break-up messages to men they deemed beta generate nothing but indifference. They begin to wonder what is up, if perhaps they made a mistake in judgement of the man’s character.

I am now addressing the male readers of this blog who have experience dating three or more women at once. I have done it many times. Look back at those times and recall your reaction when one of the women tried to break up with you over a voicemail message or email. You grabbed your phone to read the heartfelt break-up text or listen to the pained vmail and, if you were like me, you muttered “yeah yeah yeah…” and deleted the message, never bothering to reply. You did this because YOU REALLY DID NOT CARE if one of your ladies fell through the cracks.

To my beta readers: THAT is the attitude you must strive to incorporate into every fiber of your manly essence. You really DO NOT CARE. And what does an utterly indifferent man do when he gets a long-winded overly dramatic break-up text from a chick in his rotation?

Nothing.

#2: “ok” (Credit: itsme)

This is a more proactive way to signal indifference, compared to the no reply option. Note the lack of punctuation. “ok” and no reply will both get under a woman’s skin, the thought of which will put a smile on your face. Send it immediately, so that she does not have reason to think you are trying to out-game her.

#3: “gay” (Credit: el guapo? el chief?)

Indifference expressed through humor can also work, if the context is right. “gay” (again, note lack of punctuation) is a great reply to a girl who has sent a long-winded break-up email filled with phony drama. It’s basically saying “I can’t believe you’re taking this whole thing so seriously”. It’s a subtle way to impugn her presumptive status as the dumper. The cutting “gay” reply insinuates to a girl who is melodramatically dumping you that she secretly thinks about you a lot as judged by the ridiculous amount of effort she put into her break-up email.

Similar to the “gay” reply above, an insinuation that she is making a mountain out of a mole hill is a good way to get her ego invested in reclaiming lost battlefield ground. It’s a funny reply, and funny replies can work. But generally, you should follow the informal rule that any replies to a break-up message from a girl never exceed three letters in length.

And don’t expect sarcastic replies to make her come running back to you. This is strictly for the pleasure of inflicting emotional frustration.

#5: “nigga please!” (Credit: Josef Jonze)

Hey, that made me laugh.

#6: “8===D” (Credit: Ben Runkle)

Is there any pistols-at-high-noon dating situation where the ASCII penis won’t work? I’m having a hard time thinking of one.

***

Addendum: Do NOT send anything that could be construed as bitter, spiteful or the aforementioned butthurt, even if you think you are being sarcastically nonchalant. Her hamster will spin anything REMOTELY resembling bitterness as a victory for her ego. Examples of this school of thought include:

“yeah, know what you mean”

“good”

“don’t care”

“later”

“thanks. now I can go for a girl I really like.”

“Do I know you?”

etc.

The above mistakes illustrate the perils of thinking like a man instead of thinking like a woman. A manly maneuver is like a club wildly swinging in the direction of her head, bound to result in allies rushing to her side. But if you want to eviscerate her with scalpel-like precision, and excise her emotional organs for dissection upon your operating table of sadistic cruelty, then you must put yourself into the mind of a woman. Think like a woman to seduce her, and to vex her. They are two sides of the same coin.

Now some of you may be thinking, what can I do to bring her back into my orbit of indulgence? After all, wasn’t there a post here about winning back one’s ex-girlfriend? None of the excellent replies offered above guarantee she will come back to you. But they are a necessary if not sufficient tactic in any overall strategy to re-attract her. If you want a shot at converting a lost prospect, you don’t want to shoot yourself in the foot with a needy beta reply as seen in yesterday’s post. A nontrivial number of women who receive no reply or “gay” to their break-up emails are going to be so flustered and ego-bound to extracting a reaction from you that they will text, email or even call you again a day or two later asking if you got her message.

And once she has done that, she’s buzzed straight into your sticky spider web. Now she, and her invested ego, is yours to entwine. The rules of the game have decidedly shifted in your favor.

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I once had a girl stalk me on OKCupid (yeah, lame, whatever, it was years ago) after a breakup. She contacted me and I wrote back, not realizing it was a sockpuppet (it was very detailed, very fully fleshed-out). Her reply to that was to tell me how she wasn’t interested in losers like me. I figured I’d dodged a bullet with that one, and wrote back “That’s cool. Good luck.”

A day later, I looked at the sockpuppet profile again, and it had been replaced by a very long, unhinged, enraged screed about how much this girl hated men who had a long, long, long list of qualities that I had, including a few very detailed references to events from my relationship with the stalker girl. That’s when the light went on.

I got a good laugh out of that. But I also installed a security system.

I don’t think getting her back (soon) is as valuable as preventing the stench of beta from following you around when you’re near anyone in her social circle. Her friends will know how you responded (directly or by observing her reaction to the situation). Setting it up so you can come back to it occasionally later is fine, but there really is no need to keep a girl around who tries dumping you electronically – that is not behavior of a long-term lover.

As long as your final reply to the girl doesn’t contain any connotations of wanting to get her back or display any bitterness you’ll be fine.

Saying things like:

So long, take care, that’s cool, have a nice life, and others like this are perfectly acceptable.

In the end, the thing that’s going to mess things up totally for you is if you attempt to contact her after your final text. THIS would be classified as beta behaviour.

Silence is good but over time I feel chicks have the ability to rationalize any situation to suit their needs anyways (solipsism), whether silence or otherwise.

If you quickly second her thoughts then the “relationship”, to her, appears as one you didn’t give a fuck about anyways. The following radio silence will then get her hamster sprinting.

My advice/guideline would be that if you’re probably never going to run into the girl again then silence would be the best approach.

If there’s a chance you will see her occasionally, then text something back sans bitterness and let her watch you carry on. If your attitude and actions are congruent with your final text, then her observance of the symmetry in your text/your behaviour will work in your favour.

or, to put it another way, the pleading break up email is categorically wrong on a date 3 dumper. R had a post on two ways to handle breaking up, one being the cut and run, the other be the “speech”. The speech is not appropriate here.

At this point, you failed. You aren’t fun enough to continue on with or you’re so needy that she feels like she’s suffocating.

“Silence is good but over time I feel chicks have the ability to rationalize any situation to suit their needs anyways”

As a female, I agree. This is often the case with girls. I was just recently talking with a girl who dumbed a guy she was dating via text msg. That guy never answered. And what did this girl think about it? She thought the guy was so heart broken that he couldn´t even bring up a reply.

While “no reply” is a better option than a bitter reply..I think most women will interpret it as butt hurt. Since most guys (including myself) are not running perfect game, the most congruent indifferent response is something like “I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was dissappointed..I enjoyed our time together…follow your heart” or “all the best” or something along those lines. Honest but giving her nothing. The most important thing is never asking for an explaination or begging.

I got an FB back last night because she thought I was sleeping with another girl..she dumped me 3 weeks ago and I had sent a couple statement texts, needing no reply. The first was “miss your face” after two weeks. Just start dating other girls immediately and shell feel it in her bones.

“Silence is good but over time I feel chicks have the ability to rationalize any situation to suit their needs anyways (solipsism), whether silence or otherwise. ”

Exactly.

If the hamster can rationalize killing its own baby growing

inside it, you better believe the hamster can rationalize

ANYTHING.

Think about it.

Women are much more violent than men. BIG time.

[Editor: The goal isn’t to kill her rationalization hamster. That will never happen. The goal is to make her hamster work really hard spinning the wheel. The faster it has to spin, the more your victory is ensured.]

“Gay”? Better make sure you’re not talking to a liberal woman who is Down On The Homophobia.

In my experience, the key is to not come off as bitter or desperate. So, for instance, a “thanks, now I can go for a girl I really like” reads as “I am very, very, very upset that you broke up with me and am trying to make you hurt however I can.”

Honestly. If someone dumps you early in the relationship, or if it was a casual relationship, the solution is a polite “best of luck, sorry it didn’t work out” and then locating someone else. You are not going to win them back. Anything else shows you were getting way too overinvested way too early: I think you guys call it oneitis?

The continued love of the ascii penis is starting to make me think you’re all in middle school.

Silence, silence and more silence. ANY reply will betray a hint of butthurt. With silence, her mind is racing over the possibilities.

Black Sheep said…

“I was just recently talking with a girl who dumbed a guy she was dating via text msg. That guy never answered. And what did this girl think about it? She thought the guy was so heart broken that he couldn’t even bring up a reply.”

The fact she’s still talking about it means that she’s still wondering, while putting up a front at the same time.

Shit, I’ve been dumped, flaked out on, dumped again, and once again, dumped.

My response is always silence. Always. End of communication. Over and done. I delete any further emails and texts without even reading them. If I found them through an online dating website, I block them.

I personally prefer “ok” or “k” to the non-response; I’ve found that providing a modicum of substance gives the hamster much better traction on the wheel and helps it spin faster. Although I will heartily admit that the non-response reigns supreme on attention whores and their externally validated ilk.

@black sheep´s adventures“Silence is good but over time I feel chicks have the ability to rationalize any situation to suit their needs anyways”

As a female, I agree. This is often the case with girls. I was just recently talking with a girl who dumbed a guy she was dating via text msg. That guy never answered. And what did this girl think about it? She thought the guy was so heart broken that he couldn´t even bring up a reply.

[ed: well of course she’s going to tell you that.]

It’s her hamster spinning. She never tells you what’s going in the hamster wheel.

The real point is:

MOST MEN MAKE BETA MISTAKES.

Silence may not *always* be optimal. It *usually* is.
But even if it’s not optimal, never neglect this: By saying nothing, follow the AMM principle.

Avoid Making Mistakes. This is the real key for most men. Women may not want Super Alpha, but they absolutely don’t want Beta.

if you say anything, you might miscalibrate. If you’re affected, it might show. She might rationalize it. Whatever.

By saying *nothing*, you give her *nothing*. She can’t even think about it. She has nothing to go on. If she hamsters a story about “nothing”, then imagine what she’ll do with *something*.

Nothing – is – always – better. Be unaffected when you see her. Make passes at hot girls in her presence, as if she wasn’t there.

Don’t hate her. Don’t ignore her. Don’t care about her.

She’s furniture.

She’s irrelevant.

WOMEN HATE BEING IRRELEVANT. It drives them mad. They hate having no effect. Guys can take it. Women can’t. Their entire social worlds are predicated on Being Relevant (somehow).

If you give them anything, you give them something.

If a woman breaks up with you, … Give them *nothing*.

It’s a case of “anything you say can and will be used against you.” Always keep your mouth *closed*.

By and large guy’ll usually be better off finding a new gf. Though that depends why she’s dumped you. If’s she’s dumped you for acting too beta around her, yeah you can start changing that, but she’ll tend to always see that side in you. A new girl need not.

However there is one situation where getting back a girl can work great. That’s if you’ve been alpha or alphaish with her, and been banging her real good including dominating her sexually. But she wants commitment and exclusivity and you haven’t given it.

In that kind of case give the “ok babe, I understand” kind of response. And be genuinely encouraging to her in her quest of finding a husband. Yeah put it like that. Don’t however suggest she target greater betas. Encourage her inflated hopes since she’s such a great girl. Tell her she should be real picky, and not to settle for anyone who doesn’t super turn her on, as well as being good husband and dad material.

After three or four weeks ask her how the search is going, and tell her to come over and hang out just as friends, have a couple drinks and watch a movie. Do that with her some but then seduce her and bang her. Turn her into your friend with benefits. Keep encouraging the husband hunt. Get her to talk about it. Don’t let her get all lovey with you. That is crucial. (That’s not stable anymore, if you allow it, it will lead to her not being available as a fuck buddy.)

Don’t take her back as a full fledged gf that you do date things with. Remind her that it’s just friends now. Lots of girls see this as a non slutty way of getting sex while she’s “good girl” husband hunting. If you’ve only been alphaish with her, this will give you a golden opportunity to act full up alpha and get the feel for it.

She will probably say numerous times “I can’t do this anymore”. You response should be something like, “ok babe, best of luck. Whatever works best for you.” But once you’ve banged her good a couple of times post breakup, she’ll keep coming back, again and again – until she “falls in love” with someone else anyway, and starts working on the new guy to commit. But even then, when that doesn’t work out, she’ll call you up and ask if she can hang out.

If you don’t already have a rotation going, this is a good way to start a kind of one.

Fuck buddies require much less maintenance than even non exclusive girlfriends in rotation. So they can make an easy second or third for example. It’s great to have a couple going at once too. They’re also great to have around when you’re just picking up girls. Helps your game. You DO have abundance.

One time a girl dumped me by text and I didn’t respond. A couple of days later she texted again to ask why I didn’t respond and, again, I didn’t respond. It was only when I saw her in person that I had no choice but to acknowledge her existence. I noticed her reluctantly approach me, when she got close I just stood there and looked at her for a few seconds with a sly grin, she managed to mutter a ‘hi’, I acted as distant as I possibly could. Soon after she walked away, clearly confused at this interaction. A couple of weeks later I saw her again and she made it very obvious that she wanted to reinitiate relations. By this time I had already long moved on and got with hotter women.

[Editor: These are excellent “nuke the pussy from orbit” answers. The last one is the best. Women mull over insults to their prime assets (their bodies and looks) even when the insult is coming from someone they can presumably write off.]

It is always time and effort better spent developing new, fresh, prospective women than it will ever be in attempting to reconstruct a failed relationship. Never root through the trash once the garbage has been dragged to the curb. You get messy, your neighbors see you do it, and what you thought was worth digging for is never what you thought it was.

Even if you could go back to where you were, any relationship you might have with an ex will be colored by all of the issues that led up to the breakup. In other words, you both know the end result of those issues. It will always be the 800 lb. gorilla in the room, even if it’s just a subtle one.

I had such a hard time gaming my current GF, ALMOST ALL of my game, aside from a few carefully engineered situations, was avoiding anti-game. I learned to Shut Up.

She seemed like too much for me. She was surrounded by absurdly hot men, all of them younger and much richer than me. Okay, some of them actually rich (as in, I’m not). And shockingly hot women. Her friends made my eyes pop. My friends thought I was insane (ie, no chance, give it up dude).

I was so overwhelmed that I had to focus like a laser on the goal. And the goal: I wanted more than a bang. I wanted a prize. I wanted it all.

Even when I was winning, I went for the BIGGER prize. I looked 2-3 steps ahead. I knew exactly where this was going to fail. I could see the traps.

Active game:

For example, the *first* chance I had to bang her, I *chose* not to. She later told me this made her crazy. She thought I was unorthodox and real and hot. She wondered why I’d make her boil and then walk away.
I said: I didn’t want her like that. No more explanation.

When I took her, I owned her. I had to exercise total self-control the entire time, but she utterly gave in to me. She loved every second of it. There’s friendly sex (that feminists idealize) and then there’s fucking a man and giving yourself up. That’s what I wanted. She was super hot and I wanted her completely. I worked for the big prize, I shot for it all, not for the little prize.

Passive game:

The point is that this entire time, half of what I did was think of what *not* to do. The active game I ran was pretty competent. I had a few carefully arranged moments. I stacked the deck in my favor.

BUT

The trick is *NOT* acting when you might make a mistake. Don’t make that call. Feeling sappy? Don’t tell her how you feel. Withdraw for no reason. Unsure? Don’t do it. Show up late. Don’t rush, even if she gets pissed off. She’s vain? Use it to show her how immature she is (and how mature you are). She’s obsessed with appearances? Devalue hers (Don’t put her down; show her that it’s not important to you. You can have hot women. She’s not unique).

I didn’t tell her I was falling for her. I didn’t call her to leave sweet messages. I “missed” her calls frequently. I made a mistake (sleeping with ex lover). I didn’t apologize. I just told her the reason. I let her fume and get angry. I said: ” Look, I made a mistake. People make mistakes. If you like me, get over it. I’m not an asshole. I didn’t have to say anything. Want an honest guy?” More or less. I showed not one ounce of apology, just acknowledgment. She forgave and went three steps better than me. I never apologized, just explained, and invited her to walk away. I looked her in the eye. I meant it.
(PS: Fuck, was that hard).

I had no room for game errors. This girl could land almost any guy she wants, no problem, any time she wants. Easily. She has standing offers of marriage from guys with looks and family money and A-class connections and education. I won her because I wowed her, and not with money or trips to Martinique.

Point is: win her gina and her pussy and her hindbrain and you win her absolutely. Keeping her is another matter. Keeping her is always easier if you win her properly.

At every stage, I played it quiet and then jacked up some hard game. And then let it go.
And regulated the shit out of my quiet behavior.

The real secret isn’t the gimmicks of game. It was:
Not being a beta jerk.

Guy acts like a jerk in line? Whatever, loser. Driving? I’m not wasting time on you assholes. You can’t upset me. I’m a rock. When I get upset, I just go quiet – not sullen. I drop sarcasm on her when she shit-tests. I don’t even engage them. I let her walk out. A drop of reason and then patient dismissal, like you would dismiss a wayward child. She hates it sometimes, but she loves it all the time.

I use her vanity against her. I twist her little world around.

I shot an arrow into a deer. I didn’t flinch. And then I dispatched it with care, quickly. No cruelty. Even mild concern. She loved it. She said hunting was not her thing, but she saw the whole process and she said: Well, I respect it. She was wetter than ever after it. “The guy kills things. But he’s basically gentle.” Push-pull, Alpha-beta.

This is all passive. Just change how to approach the world and women. All women are the same. They love it. They dream of it. Give them what they want.

Stop thinking like a guy.

You can be the worst asshole at times, and they love you for your soft power. The hard power attracts her. You have to tone it down if you fuck a woman for more than a month. The soft power keeps her with you.

It’s work. But what are you going to do?

All women are the same. It’s just the degree.

An ugly woman’s going to make you work, too. You just won’t notice it.

The thing about the “Rationalization Hamster” is that the girl in question who is exercising her little furry beast is doing so in a way that will allow her to conclude whatever the hell she wants in every situational possibility imaginable. These conclusions are heavily skewed towards them “winning”.

[Editor: True, but you don’t win by silencing her hamster. You win by causing her hamster to spin until it’s gasping for breath. A girl can tell her gfs that silence means the guy is really hurt, but the mere fact she’s bringing it up and regaling her gfs with her version of events that relies solely on her opinion shows that the man’s lack of reply got to her.]

This is why I think the silent treatment may be praised a little too highly in my experiences.

The line you deliver must be concise and show no BITTERNESS. Silence comes across as bitterness if you ask me and girls WILL explain it to themselves and anyone else who’ll listen as such (i.e. whether it’s rationalized or not, she’ll believe it’s true. Again, solipsism). There’s too much space for the hamster to stretch it’s legs if you ask me. I don’t care what anyone says.

A pithy line like: k, ok, have a nice life, good luck will definitely convey an almost assassin-like professionalism to the girl in question. She’ll truly feel that you don’t care (if you haven’t been making mistakes during the relationship) and that you’ll really be able to replace her in a heartbeat.

Silence allows her to feel that you are in the process of being as ineffectual as she/all women are. She WILL think you’re trying to figure out what to say but couldn’t muster anything. Besides, in ALL cases the dumpee/girl is waiting for you to contact them again (shit-test). Silence lets the hamster sprint on the wheel for the short term, I’ll admit that, but in the long term saying something non-bitter and cutting her off will turn that fucking rodent into a Kenyan marathon runner.

Make her feel that you don’t care and then proceed to not care: silence.

In any case, one way or the other she’ll find her way back to you. Silence allows her to approach you as if she was a hunter, while a non-bitter pink-slip message back makes her come back with her tail between her legs, and she will.

In what scenario do you guys think the gina will be vibrating at the highest frequency?

@CR[Editor: True, but you don’t win by silencing her hamster. You win by causing her hamster to spin until it’s gasping for breath. A girl can tell her gfs that silence means the guy is really hurt, but the mere fact she’s bringing it up and regaling her gfs with her version of events that relies solely on her opinion shows that the man’s lack of reply got to her.]

Other chicks she tells this to know she’s spinning her hamster. They agree with her in person. But they quietly know.

The fact that she has to rationalize a guy not even condescending to give her a word says it all.

No,no,no,no.
The response you get to your response to her e-mail will be determined by how you acted on those three dates. If you were a complete beta, then it will be impossible to overcome this with any response to her dumping you, even if you respond with complete silence. Take it from a man who has made all the mistakes…..
However, if you were moderately alpha on those dates, and she dumped you(remember, even alphas strike out more than they hit) then you should be thinking about the future….
A scenario.. you were fairly alpha on those three dates but she still dumped you via text or e-mail… You don’t respond.
3 months later, you see her at some social function. You take the initiative and go up to her in a friendly way and say hello….. you mention that you have not seen her in a while but you were tied up with various things..she mentions that she is sorry that she has not seen you but she hopes that you understood the sincere niceness of her prior e-mail etc…etc….
The way to respond is to look slightly bemused,and mention that yes, I do now remember you sending me a message, but I was tied up because my old college roommate’s mother died ,and when I went to the funeral his younger sister, who I always thought of a as kid, really latched on to me so I was kind of tied up for a couple of months….hope to see you around etc. and then move on..
the whole point is not to deny or denigrate that she sent you the dumping text, just that you should treat it as if it was some form letter that she learned in finishing school and don’t make anything of it…it did not affect you, because you were never really in to the relationship, which you should have demonstrated by the way you acted on those three dates……

So, what’s the initial approach to a girl like that to even get into orbit. I wonder about certain work environments where there’s no chit-chat area to dhv, it’s pretty much walk up and ask a girl out. is that doomed to failure for a hot girl, no prep work.

I think that one key factor hasn’t been addressed. That of the degree of attention whoring particular to the girl.

If she’s a huge one, then silence will DEFINITELY be your best tactic. Maybe the more nuclear replies could work as well, though I’d never do any of them. They scream insecurity.

A little, miniature (by female standards) attention whore could be spun into orbit through a non-bitter reply.

I know that all women, whether gargantuan attention whores or not crave drama. Since drama is the baseline of the attention whore/hot chick, ignoring and not replying to her causes her to be knocked off equilibrium because she’s not being engaged on her level.

For girls who’s hunger for drama isn’t insatiable, a cordial text back to say you don’t care either way denies her of the drama she would LIKE to have occasionally but you’ve so cold-heartedly denied her by saying “adios baby”. She wants to be considered as worthy of being chased by a man but you don’t give it to her. The attention whore/hot chick gets this everyday. She doesn’t. You’ve taken away gossip fodder by stating that it is in fact over for you as well. No room for her to rationalize your silence over conversations with her friends. It’s over for you too and she feels it. She thought you’d be stunned and you weren’t. Next.

Again, consider if you’ll eventually see the girl or not in the near future before making your choice. Your behavior during the relationship is the best indicator of how to reply, anyways.

A scenario.. you were fairly alpha on those three dates but she still dumped you via text or e-mail…

Does not compute in my experience. If you were alpha w/her, but not her kind of alpha or personality type, she wouldn’t have gone on a second date, and certainly not a third. No this kind of break off is just about always due to her thinking she gets along with you, is hoping to feel a strong sexual pull, but doesn’t and figures after date three she won’t ever.

You don’t respond.
3 months later, you see her at some social function. You take the initiative and go up to her in a friendly way and say hello….. you mention that you have not seen her in a while but you were tied up with various things..she mentions that she is sorry that she has not seen you but she hopes that you understood the sincere niceness of her prior e-mail etc…etc….

Going up to her is ok but never make excuses for not contacting her after she dumped you. Totally wrong. Just game her like a new girl to begin with. Negs for sure. But push pull.

The way to respond is to look slightly bemused, and mention that yes, I do now remember you sending me a message, but I was tied up because my old college roommate’s mother died ,and when I went to the funeral his younger sister, who I always thought of a as kid, really latched on to me so I was kind of tied up for a couple of months….hope to see you around etc. and then move on..

No. This is all wrong. Well the looking bemused is right. “now I remember” is patently bs. The excuse making is all wrong. There’s nothing to excuse and even if there were, it’s still wrong. Not alpha.at.all. Just respond to her reference to the “sincere niceness” of her breakup email with something like. “Sure.” Your tone is key. This is said with bemused condescension. As a kind of neg. Like as if it was a big deal to you. But if that stokes your ego, whatever – source of the condescension. (You say this with the mindset that you’ve been with lots hotter girls since and her “dumping you” saved you time.)

So, what’s the initial approach to a girl like that to even get into orbit. I wonder about certain work environments where there’s no chit-chat area to dhv, it’s pretty much walk up and ask a girl out. is that doomed to failure for a hot girl, no prep work.

He wrote quite a lot about that here in semi real time about 9 months ago I think it was. Do a google site search here using “Gorbachev PCG”. PCG stands for Persian coffee girl, a reference to where it met her and her ethnicity.

On a real note though, this is somethign that you should fire and forget, (unless you chose the no response route). Say okay to show that it didn’t really faze you or she didn’t matter that much, never talk to her again, when you see her out at the bar again (or anywhere really) smirk at her and give her a wink as she talks shit about you to her friend. Then go back to gaming the hottest girl in your immediate group who you then take home and rail later.

@SN2,
You’re right about the rationalization hamster. I have a female roommate who constantly complains about her ex who SHE dumped back in september because she drunkenly told him she loved him and he drunkenly said he didn’t want to have that conversation. Guess who she had sex with again on superbowl Sunday?

Gorbo, I value your comments over most in the comments section, keep up the good work.

Not sure if this works in the same context after receiving a dumping email, but I’ve started responding to favours/demands/shit tests via texts with just plain old ‘haha’.

It confuses the balls out of them, and if they dare to ask what I’m talking about, what do they get? silence. This gives her time to work out that she made an error and that I don’t deal with girls who take liberties.

A caveat for the silent treatment is that it only works if you have been properly laconic throughout the relationship. If you frequently have nothing to say, then you are good to go. It looks like you are unperturbed and are still quite yourself. Otherwise you will need to try for humor; “8==>”, etc…

I still think that silence runs the risk of her characterizing you to her friends as hurt. Better to send her something emotionally ambiguous (I like “nigga please”) and to trigger a wtf-style response from her that you can then ignore. If she’s decently bright, she will get the condescension, which may not make her not want to tell people how hurt you are, but may shake her confidence in being able to tell that story effectively. She’s going to want to spin things in the best possible light for herself, so the response (as opposed to silence) is not about altering her goal, but about her ability to carry it out successfully.

I guess my posts keep getting screened for some reason, but I’ll give it another shot. Earlier, Riff Dog pointed out that it might be annoying/insipid to have to sit through extended social settings with girls that are significantly younger than you just to swoop them. That strikes me as an important concern: when do those costs get too high? I know that whiskey and others here have asserted that 25, 35, and 55 year old women are interchangeably inane. I don’t agree with this. I think the *typical* 22 year old is way more annoying to talk to than the typical 32 year old (I’m 31). It’s not to say that 32 year old is more interesting, but just that the 22 year old will be more flighty, ADD, infantile in affect. That takes work to deal with.

My bigger question is what is the ideal PUA lifestyle? Is it MLTR? That seems very rare, and is it MLTR with women your age or significantly younger? This may reflect a class bias, but I think that having a “presentable” (and this means somewhat age/education appropriate) wife/gf as you get older allows you to access better social circles, meet more interesting and engaging people, and generally have broader social experience and respect. The typical solution for sexual needs is having mistresses on the side, but not having to sit through college-style social settings with those mistresses.

So, are PUAs interested in a certain kind of perennial adolescence? As Riff Dog says, the next lay is important, but is it so important that any internally humiliating situation is an acceptable cost?

Personally, I’d go with a simple ‘lulz’ (or ‘heh’ if she’s not from the internet). If she texts me back within the day asking “What does that mean???” I’ll ignore it. If a couple days go by and she texts me again, then I’ll respond non-chalantly (“Well, things were just complicated with us, weren’t they?), if I’m still interested in her. Which I probably am, unless if she’s crazy (NEVER stick your dick in crazy).

Texting ensues. Answer questions with non-specifics and more questions. Then say “I guess I could meet you for coffee after work. 5 PM?”

Meet for coffee to ‘talk about it’ – and then talk about anything but. Tell her how exciting my life is, get her involved in a conversation, dismiss the breakup if she brings it up (“Totally up to you, babe.”) And then – as a hint of passion is beginning to rise – tell her I have to leave to meet a friend.

So, recently, a girl in my rotation- a real saucy blond, hard to deal with, but also fun to deal with, got super jealous over an interaction I had with another girl in my rotation on Facebook, and attacked her publicly, on a thread, and privately in a message to me and a couple of my friends on FB. The girl she attacked was a great friend of mine as well, so I came to her aid, both publicly on the thread, and again, privately.

The blond was furious! I like to use FB as a way to play the girls off of each other- I have pictures of me with other girls, flirt publicly with other girls- it is fun to watch them interact with each other on there- plus I have a great cocky wit that they just fall in line for. FB game is a dangerous tightrope of a game though.

So the blond tried to get at me by cropping me out of photos with her, and blocking me from access to her wall. All I could see was her photos and her information.

I have to admit I “Beta-ed” up a bit. (Shame) I like this chick- she was always a hell of a good time. So I wrote her a message about a common interest after a couple of weeks, even starting the email by disarming the who situation with girl 2: “I realize I am on your shit-list because of [REDACTED]… but I hope you can get passed it.” The letter wasn’t begging or anything- it was fairly matter of fact about a common intellectual interest, but its INTENTION was still Beta at heart. I wanted her back. I also wanted her “back,” ;)

Anyway, I started feeling the pangs of beta-dom… a feeling I hadn’t had in years and years. I drop chicks all the time- I usually just stop talking to them (which makes them come back harder of course) or keep them around just enough so I can see them if I want, in case it gets cold… or whatever. But I admit, the blond got to me. She beta-ed me up. I got made at myself- it isn’t her fault I beta-ed up… it was mine.

So I reclaimed my Alpha nature, and without attachment, or desire to ever see this bitch again or let her win, I blocked her from Facebook. It all flipped around. Her wall posts (as seen through other friends’ facebook accounts, since I had blocked her and couldn’t see her) became furious rants about me. I got a sense of satisfaction as the “hamster” began to run in its wheel as he so clearly puts it.

Luckily, she is not common friends with of my other girlfriends, but people who are firmly on my side- other alphamale friends of mine. We shared a laugh about the Blond, high fived, and went out to meet a whole new crew of women.

It happens to the best of us gentlemen- don’t ever…EVER compromise your Alphamale nature for ANY woman. The second you do, you are roadkill- and you deserve it frankly.

so many of the newbs are running their hamster as to why silence doesn’t work for them. it’s obvious it betrays their own insecurities at not being able to have the last word. it was 3 dates people, silence is the only option.

Surprised he did not link to the post about the two types of break-up.

#1 she dumps you because you’re a cheating cad – in this case, rage and vent, then disappear. You’ve been showing TOO little emotion, so like a spice you add more to make the taste of the relationship more to her liking.

#2, in which category this FB issue definitely is – you’ve been TOO beta, too much emotion. She has lost attraction. The appropriate response can be any of the above.

It depends how long you’ve been dating. Here it’s a short time, so all the approprite responses have been provided.

If the words “I love you” have passed her lips, I think no response is appropriate. I got dumped over skype. I was pretty cool, but stayed online till she had to go. Mistake (next day I completely broke down, again on skype).

If she dumps over FB, no response.

If on skype, start reading a newspaper while she’s getting herself ready to dump you. Don’t look into the camera, but down just in front of it, so she can see you’re obviously concentrating on something else. Or look at porn. And start typing a shit load (or sms’ing). That’ll get the hamster going. When she’s done talking, or if she asks “are you listening”, you say “OK, is that all?” in a “do you need anything else” store-clerk who-wants-to-off-work-now-but-is-too-polite-to-just-go, or “I’m listening” while not looking up. When she complains, which she will, you say “I heard you. Gotta go take a shit – let’s talk more later”.

julian– I hate to point this out, but Genghis Khan was amazingly reproductively successful because HE FUCKING RAPED WOMEN.

They didn’t have contraceptives back then, or abortions, and rape was a standard part of conquering a city (you know, pillage, burn, RAPE). As the leader, Genghis Khan got the greatest chance to rape women; as one of the greatest conquerors in all of history, there were a large number of women he got to rape.

It had nothing to do with women’s desire for him, and certainly nothing to do with his ability to text.

[Editor: Do you have evidence that most of the women he impregnated were the result of rape? A cite would help.]

Do NOT respond under any circumstances. That damned hamster will burn the fur off it’s little rodent feet at the sniff of silence. The end result will almost always be the same, regardless if you stay silent or your splurge from your beta mouth. There is no point in showing her any feelings whatsoever.

Silence is golden and works on both sexes (in a relationship, not just casual dating).

After a “fight” if you pull the silent treatment, your phone will be ringing off the hook for days. If you really want to teach him/her a lesson, don’t answer til’ the 7th day. They will think you’ve “moved on” and be so relieved when you finally DO answer.

Whatever bad behaviour caused your displeasure and resulted in a fight will be “cured”.

Mate training is like pet training or child training: reward the good behaviour, punish the bad.

As adults we can’t “ground” the other person or restrict their candy intake as punishment but we can demonstrate our displeasure through silence, which has an awesome power to reform.

[Editor: It doesn’t say anything in that article about Ghengis Khan himself raping the majority of his sexual conquests, which was your initial contention. Most likely, good old Ghengis, like most alpha males, got all the pussy he wanted voluntarily and for free.]

She was either not schooled in what to expect amongst mobs in Egypt or she was schooled and naively thought it wouldn’t happen to her.

Perhaps her foreign journalism mentors are too politically correct to talk about the truth.

On the news recently there was a story about Peace Corps workers getting raped and sexually harrassed while abroad and being told by the Peace Corps NOT to talk about it to the press or anyone – ever.

I understand they don’t want to scare away potential Peace Corps recruits but on the otherhand, I’ve travelled enough to know that there are certain areas of the world where a woman cannot expect the same treatment she gets in other parts of the world.

For the safety of travelling women they need to be educated on exactly what they can expect and also ways to avoid dangerous situations – such as avoiding mobs and not going anywhere alone, especially in the night.

And number 1: don’t trust ANYONE. You don’t know these people. They might be the sweetest things on earth, or that might not be. Better to err on the side of safety.

Tyler-Smith noted, “In ‘The Secret History of the Mongols,’ an extraordinary and unique contemporary or near-contemporary document, Genghis Khan’s subordinates are represented as explicitly promising him the pick of captured women and horses.”

Historian George Vernadsky wrote, “The plundering of enemy territories could only begin when Genghis Khan or one of his generals gave permission. Once it had started the commander and the common soldier had equal rights, except that beautiful young women had to be handed over to Genghis Khan.”

[Editor: You’re dense. You’re still not providing any evidence that GK himself raped his sexual conquests. All you have provided is a statement that many women were “handed over” to him. You have no evidence that of those women handed to him the majority were unwilling bedmates of the great conqueror, or that he had to forcibly rape them to get his rocks off.
Now it is likely that GK, being the stone cold killer he is, participated in at least a few rapes in his life. It goes with the territory. But it is far more likely that of the many women whose tribes he decimated their sexual favors were willingly and voluntarily — and desirously — surrendered to his throbbing majestic alphaness.]

the bottom line is that women are terribly bored. they want drama. half the reason they dump is for change in their bored and utterly meaningless lives. they fuck around until they get bored with that (late 20’s), then settle with a beta whom they can exploit.

Gregor: “My bigger question is what is the ideal PUA lifestyle? Is it MLTR?”

I have been pondering this. I’ve reached the conclusion that my life will involve open and honest MLTR. With regards to your comment about social circles, this doesn’t factor whatsoever into my calculus. I’m a very highly-individualistic and non-conformist person, and I have never cared about how women I fuck/date might impact me in some larger social context. I feel I am now (or if not yet, will one day become) the type of person who can access any social circles I want on my own merits and not because of some wife I might have.

The age consideration doesn’t hold a great deal of water with me either, at this point. I have had the chance to meet 20-year olds who are incredibly mature and thoroughly enjoyable to speak with, and I have met 60-year olds who are insufferable. Pretty much any women is going to be annoying in a variety of ways sooner or later. I take it as part of the bargain. The more LTRs I have the less I have to suffer any single one of them.

I really avoid hanging out with women on their social hometurfs. I try to hang out with them alone, pulling them into my life and creating our own common experiences.

Silvio Berlusconi is being tried for his sexual behavior and undue advantage of power! When a girl who can work in bar can be a minor she is not a minor; however, if she had sex with an old guy she becomes minor. Femtards and mangina have over powered the entire race of males! perhaps! Poor Berlusconi!

cougars and mammoth mammaried cavern coochied women feel dejected why silvio did not fuck them and rather fucked the tiny teenies!!

I was reading the Village Voice article that sdfnsdfsd posted, and I finally got to the revealing paragraph on page 3 or something. Thankfully her hamster is a decent writer so it wasn’t too painful:

For every loser I’ve screamed at, there have been nice, normal single guys with perfectly acceptable ZIP codes and ages and jobs and habits who never did a thing wrong but for some reason were chucked after the first or second, or maybe even third, date for being boring, predictable, too nice, too normal, not successful enough, or . . . admitted to no one, perhaps not even myself: too available. The scariest of scary words.

Translation: for every alpha who had game and didn’t take my shit and got my wet panties in a bunch then pumped and dumped me, there have been nice, normal, pandering betas who bored me to tears. Too available.

“They never did a thing wrong”, she says, then goes on to name all the things they did wrong. haha, I love women. so cute. they really struggle to understand themselves.

[Editor: No. When men get bored they don’t dump or divorce. They find a mistress.]

Is this so they don’t have to pay alimony and child support?

[Editor: I suppose for some men there are those pragmatic considerations. But mostly it’s because men don’t have a problem keeping a veritable harem. Boredom with a wife or girlfriend doesn’t mean chucking her out of his life completely, as it means for so many women who get bored with their husbands or boyfriends. It just means he spends more of his time spreading his affection to upgraded vaginas.]

What if they get caught? Surely their wives will divorce them and they’ll have to pay alimony and child support anyway.

[That’s why men are fools to get married. But even still, it’s funny how it often works out that it’s the beta husbands who have to foot the bills incurred from divorce. Alpha husbands manage to either avoid divorce or pass off the financial duties to second string beta replacements.]

Also, the US is not a country I associate with mistressing. Italy comes to mind, Spain, France, but not the US. Is it common?

The most spectacular example is Genghis Kahn, otherwise known as the Scourge of God, the Master of Thrones and Crowns, the Perfect Warrior, and Lord of All Men.

About 800 years ago Genghis and his descendants conquered everything from Peking to Damascus. Genghis knew how to have a good time. Here’s his definition of supreme joy: “to cut my enemies to pieces, drive them before me, seize their possessions, witness the tears of those dear to them, and embrace their wives and daughters!”

It appears that the last part of that list especially appealed to him. He and his sons and his son’s sons–the Golden Family– ruled over much of Asia for several hundred years, tending to the harem throughout. In so doing, they made the greatest of all genetic impacts. Today some 16 million men in central Asia are his direct male descendants, as shown by their possession of a distinctive Y chromosome. It just shows that one man can make a difference.

I have no doubt that the women who were tossed into G. Khans tent, (3 or 4 at a time), sometimes came out whinning about the horrible things that happened inside… Like the bloody fights that broke out among them for first-swallow rights and the inevitiably cruel competion for “time on top.”

Gregor: You are pretty much answering your own question. If interacting with certain women will prevent your ability to thrive in a given social circle to whose standards you feel subjugated, then you have a decision to make.

Let me offer an answer to your thoughtful question. – Getting a good grasp of game DOES disrupt the (supposedly) normal progression of life events. Indeed, it makes it dramatically more likely that you at 47 will get lasivious attention from “in-appropriately young” women. But, the thing is, with ordinary luck, you will be getting the same kind of vibes from that same chicks mother. (Its weird the way they smell the same).
So you will have to make a definite choice. Choose without thinking too much. Then pretend the mom thing never really happened. It might work.

A girl broke up with me over the phone. I replied “ok, cool” and wished her luck with her upcoming internship, in a neutral tone.

We were supposed to go together to a graduation cruise, and I still had a ticket so I went solo. Picked up a random girl on the way.

–>Ex and her friends drive past me walking with random new girl, ex’s roomate txts me saying they saw me.
–>Ex’s roomate contiues to txt me asking me to meet up with their group.
–> Finally meet up with them, politely indifferent to ex, chat up her friends, she starts trying to talk to me, I leave and come back several times to talk to other people, once when she is mid sentence.
–>Ex acting friendly and shit, complements my outfit, takes a picture with me…I leave and come back, ex’s roomate says ex screamed at her for txting me to meet up with them. Apparently she yelled at her about it again later that night.

So did I pull off anything worthwhile here…it seems she was mad, but was it because I acted indifferent(and she saw me with a new girl like a day after she broke up with me) or because my presence annoyed her…I didn’t bring the new girl over to introduce to the group btw, left her at the other end of boat.

It has been noted before here that Facebook is a forum for juveniles, twits & girly boys. A “nutgrinder” I think was the term ?
Anyway, it bears mentioning that if you dump someone over email or Facebook after several dates, it should be self-evident that the dumper has no class or finesse. They have simply chosen the coward’s way out, and are sowing bad karma. So of course, the proper response is no response at all. Simply move on.

“I have been pondering this. I’ve reached the conclusion that my life will involve open and honest MLTR. With regards to your comment about social circles, this doesn’t factor whatsoever into my calculus. I’m a very highly-individualistic and non-conformist person, and I have never cared about how women I fuck/date might impact me in some larger social context. I feel I am now (or if not yet, will one day become) the type of person who can access any social circles I want on my own merits and not because of some wife I might have.”

I wish you well in this. I think it’s highly ambitious, and we are perhaps not really talking about the same thing. You sound as if your life will lack the stability than mine will likely have. This is not a bad thing, a priori, and by stability I mainly mean structural stuff, a wife, kids, social clique, professional colleagues, etc.

I think game is not just a powerful critique of the feminist worldview, but also a really satisfying way of learning to meet and fuck women you want. That said, I move in an upper-middle class professional/academic social group with dinner parties and all that other SWPL shit and having a stable, charming, and “station-appropriate” wife/gf is pretty key to having a nice social life, as well as making important job connections. It’s a bit like the Mad Men social setting, with a bunch more bullshit feminism loaded up on it. I still want a varied and exciting sex life (and that’s true even when sex with my gf is great), but I can’t see enduring house parties with ex-sorority types as a means of satisfying that urge.

I guess my question is for an intelligent dude, who probably would be comfortable in my social scene, what’s the long game? Fuck 20 year old bottle blondes till you’re 45, and then what, fuck 35 year olds who’ve just hit the wall? Live *only* for pussy regardless of the effects on your social life? I think Riff Dog’s point was that, at some point, it’s nicer to be around people who are like you in some fundamental ways than to sit around on some beat up couches when you’re close to 40 and try to bang that 25 year old one more time. I’ll bang the hot 25 year old any day of the week, but at what cost? Does living the PUA lifestyle mean that, at some point, you just won’t really fit in to your natural social clique anymore? I’m individualistic, but I’m not an island.

No matter what media a woman picks to dump you with, why get mad at her??

You guys talking about how awful women are and calling them names, really don’t get it do you? LOL!

She’s just giving you feedback that your game is not tight enough to keep her. You should be thankful for the feedback and use it in the future, who gives a rats ass what you write back or what she thinks of you?

I’m older than you and in your socio-economic and approximate IQ category, so I might be able to give you some insight here:

1) For the private life that none of your business contacts see, go with an honors student in university, the brightest of the bright, as the focal point of your MLTR. Other posts will explain how to achieve an LTR with a huge age difference. A big tip will be that you should work out with weights twice a week and look better than guys her age.

She will probably be more interesting than any of the single women you deal with your age in business. Don’t let her move in, of course, because an MLTR (harem) is vital to build. You will want to have a “rotation” of others who qualify for Monday night, Tuesday night, etc. Your main squeeze will be for Wednesday nights and Weekends only.

Having the other women will somehow keep your main squeeze loyal, even if she is unaware of them (keep her unaware by never meeting her friends or local family).

2) For your public life, meaning the woman you bring to trade shows and conferences in other cities, bring that honors student as well (she may have since graduated and will be looking to build a career and this event could be crucial to her for gaining confidence and experience).

You thought I was going to have separate advice for that didn’t you?

But, no, I’ve done this over and over and, even among CEOs in their 50s with their same-age wives, a young looking executive (dye your hair for the conference to make the age difference with your partner less dramatic) will actually be considered a powerful force by the other men if his partner is a brilliant and gorgeous young woman in her early 20s.

CEOs will look up to a man their own age with a hot young partner…as long as she is considered to be classy, well educated and super smart. The men will clamor to become business partners. Subconsciously, they will want some of the magic they see to rub off onto them.

And get this: Their wives will clamor to make arrangements to accompany your partner on shopping trips or whatever else the wives are doing while the men are in conference.

I was shocked to see this last effect.

For some reason, in a business environment, the cattiness and hate that you see from older women in a political environment does not manifest itself.

This may have something to do with the business world accepting the concept of market forces more.

How about: ‘I never really saw you as girlfriend material anyway’ then disapearing.If you deliver that line casually enough,there is a better than average chance she will hound you to enlighten her on why you didnt consider her worthy.Said with sarcasm it comes across as sour grapes but said in a mildly dissapointed fatherly tone it seems as if you had already decided this was going nowhere and were just waiting for a chance to let her down gently.

CEOs will look up to a man their own age with a hot young partner…as long as she is considered to be classy, well educated and super smart.

heh, “smart”.
dude, don’t you (claim to) date women who don’t speak your language?
in that case, english-speaking ceo’s obviously won’t have a rat’s-ass clue whether she’s “super smart”.
and the ceo’s from her country will know an “arrangement” when they see one… duh.

in the *real* business world — the one in which i do real business, y’know, growing companies and shit — ceo’s in their fifties are expected to have wives “of substance”. this doesn’t have to mean the same age, but it would exclude girls fresh out of college, who would be immediately assumed to be hookers/escorts/paid companions.

hint, buddy: think of the most successful businesspeople you can think of.
gates, murdoch, trump — all have wives 40+ years old.

if a serious businessman (outside of renegade fields like entertainment) expects to be taken seriously, he’s expected to keep his young mistresses out of the spotlight, not to cart them around to business functions. sorry bub.

Though dumping via text is a girl thing to do, it’s not a decent girl thing to do. It’s a screwed up SITC watching, amateur hoe thing to do. I wouldn’t dignify such a thing with an answer.

At that point, a guy should realize that he hasn’t lost anything important, and just move on.

Decent girls are not cavalier about relationships. They empathize with the guy. If they themselves wouldn’t want to be dumped in text, they’re not going to do that to someone else.

In fact, as someone else mentioned, if you actually get to the point of being the boyfriend of a decent girl, she’s not dumping you unless you killed her dog or something.

It doesn’t matter that texting is more common or normal. Some stuff is just done in person. Texting is you tell a client that their appointment is going to be rescheduled, not how you tell a guy that you don’t want to date him anymore.

What I don’t have is intercourse with those who aren’t in an LTR with me, meaning the STRs. This is entirely related to the possibility of catching something and it’s in consideration of the women who are really close to me. Even a short-termed disease would destroy an MLTR or force the guy to be unavailable for awhile. If the core of the MLTR is marriage material, the risk is too high. There’s a lot one can do in STRs that don’t involve actual intercourse. If a woman is worth becoming part of the MLTR core, meaning the guy doesn’t just want to get off once or twice with her, that’s another story.

I know that guys who don’t understand this have never had an MLTR for themselves.

You come across as someone who is desperate for even one 8+ to come into your life, whom you’d fuck like a man who just found water in the desert.

Mike, I would say yes. Though the degrees of betatude do differ. Let us say that you have 2 natural children and your wife is say, 40, therefore unlikely to bear another. Could be acceptable as well as gain you social status in upper-middle class society.

If your wife is still 25 and nubile but wants to adopt instead of have a biological child… storm clouds on the horizon my friend.

What’s interesting about this post combo is that I thought most women reject men by simply going into cold-hearted radio silence for no apparent reason. Then, when the man tries to get her to finally communicate again (such as in proving she wasn’t in a car accident), she would respond with an illogical and dishonest “You’re a stalker. That’s why I don’t like you”.

I’ve recently viewed some American women on the Internet who did this to me 15 years ago and I can see I dodged a bullet; they’ve become fat and ugly married women since then. It turns out that one was cheating on her future husband at the time she dated me (he was on a tour of duty in the Navy).

This hadn’t happened much since leaving the US, but recently I had a similar experience where I tried to break an unexplained radio silence with a socially awkward 19 year old. Engaging worked:

Texting
Her: “You’re a stalker. Go away”.
Me: “And you’re a fool and a whore, so we’re compatible”
Her: “Go to Hell you ugly bald foreigner.
Me: “Ugly? I thought I was the best looking guy in town!”
Her: “You’re AVERAGE!”
Me: “Well that’s better than ugly. Thanks for reconsidering on that”.
Her: “You had to go and ruin everything by your behavior”
Me: “What kind of Everything did I ruin? You were planning a relationship?”
Her: “We could have been friends but your behavior ruined it”. (my insistence that she talk on the phone and not live by text alone)
Me: “Your behavior was 100% the problem. You would write on Friday that we would meet on Saturday and then not communicate with me at all on Saturday”.
Her: “OK. You are correct. I am guilty.
Me: (Silence)

She called the next day and we’ve been dating since.

I’d say the main idea is to get the woman riled up with anger and willing to spill the beans on the real reason why she’d lost interest. If it was because the man was “boring”, his getting her riled up would erase the perception that he’s boring. If it was because he was too old or not rich enough, the drama might still get things back on track for her (women love drama).

The polite rejection letter is something I haven’t seen in about 20 years. I guess I’d answer such a polite letter with “OK, let’s be friends. So do you have any great looking female friends to introduce to a really nice guy such as myself? I’d prefer at least 5’9″ (if she’s 5’7″) and not too thin, but brains matter more than looks. You can come along on the first meeting to see things kick off well. ;)”

If she showed that to her girlfriends, their hamsters and hers would be going “I’m too short for this guy?” etc. I’ve used this method, of asking the woman to become a matchmaker, a few times with varying degrees of success with women who tried to LJBF me in person.

The trick would be in not making it look sarcastic or bitter in any way.

in the meantime, why don’t you rehash for us how you spend big bucks on your “STRs” that you don’t even get to have sex with… and how you can “smell” when your so-called quality women have had ≤3 partners.

you ought to check out club seventeen — you may even find some of your “MLTR core” on there, i’d imagine

It’s also the troll position on this blog if you have a problem with Silvio Berlusconi, who is now under severe attack from the Italian Marxist feminist left for supposedly having given a 17 year old money to be friendly with him at some point.

Never mind that it was a beta move that he gave “too much money”. This is a huge men’s rights issue, where it’s not just Julian Assange under attack via a fake rape charge because he’d been two timing two women and refused an HIV test.

Now it’s a world leader under attack from angry older women with the threat of 15 years imprisonment for something he supposedly did in his private life.

Your case is a prime example of why silence is rarely the best option. One must harness the energy of the hampster wheel, not just get it spinning. Some readers have yet to develop this understanding.
Note how your ex’s girlfriends played an integral part in the story? Well, they always do…

Itsme is right. Leave the ex alone, but by all means start working on her girlfriends. At least a couple of them are now into the idea of hooking up with you.

I cannot understand why men have such a hard time with saying nothing. I really can’t.

In response to this particular situation, where’d the need to use words to appear clever, witty, aloof, etc, come from?

Your perceived value in our current male/female climate can be easily acertained by what you say in response to female rejection. It’s like a thumb print.

If you have a bag of Snickers miniatures, why the fuck do you care if you lost one on the way home? How much time, effort, energy, fucking YouTube videos and WORDS are you going to expend lamenting the loss? The degree of your responses only signify degree of insecurity and a total lack of understanding of your value in our current male/female market (not the least of which is that you don’t even know you’re holding a fucking bag of Snickers miniatures). I thought this blog was formed to help with that.

Gentlemen – your response will tell you everything you need to know about YOU.

Seriously, if you don’t agree with the blog host on key points, then don’t come here with the agenda of attacking others on those points and expecting them not to impatiently note that the person you should be attacking is the host himself.

Don’t be a coward. If you have an agenda, then state it clearly. @Evil Alpha already has your number as a feminist sympathizing mangina. Maybe that’s not accurate. Prove him wrong.

Otherwise chill out and contribute instead of making ad hominem attacks. There is nothing wrong with making a case for dating sluts. Just respect differences. Only feminists and religious zealots can’t respect differences in thought.

She was a virgin mostly because of religious conviction, but you could tell there was some doubt there. Also we were doing the LTR thing, I still had sex with her, and she ended up being a soldier, but that day she cried I almost pulled a Sergeant Hartman.

[Editor: No, it doesn’t. Bitter sounds bitter. What planet do you live on?]

at least what the girl would feel if you didn’t reply at all. Just like when someone rejects you on your approach and you just smile, all relaxed, and take it like there are a million other girls waiting for you, with a rejection email the same would be to just say “Ok”, “No problem” or something similar.

This would show much greater value then silence, and also show maturity, as opposed to her imagining you crying yourself to sleep in your cock-shaped pillow.

@ Gregor No need to stop fucking the 20 year-olds at 45. I’m 48 and fucked a gorgeous 24 YO I met online on a first date this past Saturday night, and while I have no hesitation in paying for sex, that was not the deal and she didn’t take the money I offered. This weekend’s events are not unusual for me, as, within the past 2 years and 3 months, I have had anal on the first date with two different under 25 cute strippers – again, no money deal involved with either. With relatively nominal amounts of money involved, since turning 45, I’ve had several HB9s and 10s that were under 23.

Whether the social circle and job tradeoffs are worth it is a decision you have to make. My opinion is. “what good is it to have a great job and an old wife?”

Beware of the “Johanson Old-Lady Tradeoff,” a phenomenom developed by moi which describes what happens if – everything else being equal – you start dating and marry a 35 YO instead of a 25 YO. Lets assume you are 45 and live until you are 95.

If you go with the 25 YO, you get 10 prime years of fucking a chick between ages 25 and 35 you don’t get with the 35 YO. And if you go with the 35 YO, you end up getting stuck expected to bang her when she is between 75 and 85, while if you end up with the younger one, you’ll be dead when she’s 75 and not have to bang her anymore.

Don’t know about you, but I’d rather bang a 25 or 35 YO HB2 than the hottest 75 or 85 YO woman on the planet.

Of course, there are various other factors to consider, such as if the better job leads to cheating opportunities, or if the older wife ends up wiping you out in a divorce. Also, SWPLs bore me to death after a while. Chances are, if you hang with a crowd of older guys with younger chicks, instead of spending the night talking about white whine and foreign tourist shtetls, you’ll find yourself at parties where everyone gets naked.

What do you mean by hamster wheel redlining? I have left her alone and am seeing several other girls but my ego would like to know if my actions post breakup made my ex regret her decision even a little, hence the anger. If the anger was just that she found my presence annoying, that would be an ego hit yes?

This is an actual comment from a New York City woman (or maybe a gay man or mangina) on that Village Voice Valentine’s Day article. It was made in response to a man who’d introduced the concept of evolutionary biology and game in his own comment:

Did you really just bust out some caveman philosophy with a new scientific name? Generalizing a 80/20 principle and misapplying it to dating is well…ridiculous. Maybe if you cited a study I wouldn’t find this so amusing. Your philosophy is spelled out in the name EVOLUTIONARY biology. Could your hypothesis include the progression of the female intuition and self-sufficiency. In fact, it follows (and is shown in other species) that the female simply uses the male as a sperm donor if she chooses. Additionally, you may have noticed a few inventions over the past 100 years. The pill could be a great example. Or, the turkey baster might be relevant to your Victorian notions. My goodness, I would pay money to watch you court a female.

Denial isn’t just a river running through an Egypt (that hasn’t really changed recently either).

A smart woman responded to the above game-denial comment (which I might seriously conclude was from a male mangina and not an actual female), with this wise comment:

But 80% of the men only want to have sex with the most attractive 20% of women. And that’s a generous estimate. Probably more like 90% of guys pursuing 10% of the women. So face it, if you are a woman of average looks or you are a bit older, you will be just as lonely as a “beta male”. And at least “beta males” can learn to fake alpha male behavior but most women can’t aspire to look like super models. This is why I’m sick of reading comments from guys lamenting how tough it is for them. Cry me a river.

I don’t agree with what Jerry is agreeing with at 9:24 am. Guys are far less selective than women, and most learn from experience to not even bother with many no matter how hot they are. For instance, I do a fair number of hot petite chicks, but don’t even bother approaching chicks that are 5’4″ or taller, though I do end up with one on occasion.

Women, on the other hand, get gamed by alphas who will never stick with them, and keep coming back for more.

Sorry Chateau, but these are all wrong. Girl is rejecting you after three dates. Its not like she’s rejecting your first advance at the bar. The non-response or “ok” is obviously a guy with a hurt ego. The hamster wheel doesn’t really apply in this situation because she’s already indicated that you do not make the hamster run for her.

[Editor: The hamster wheel is *always* running. It has no off button. Therefore, the hamster can be revved up at any time.]

What is going on here is a power struggle for frame. In her breakup text, she is framing the man to be needy, eager, likely to be hurt… If you have any chance of making her reconsider down the road, you have to challenge her certainty of this frame.

[In the case of an overly dramatic break-up email like the one in the previous post, a “gay” suffices to point out the absurdity of her hysterics. That is why it was included in the list of good replies.]

In this vein, you have to dominate her somewhat presumptuous frame with a brief yet powerful assertion of your confidence, complete lack of concern for any emotional attachment that she thinks you may have for her, and an overall positive orientation and outlook. Obviously if you try too hard and overdo this, it will appear just as desperate as the awesome* responses that the editor advocates so strongly, but if you genuinely have that frame, there is some chance that you will hook her.

[A man who genuinely has a complete lack of concern for any emotional attachment will not bother to reply. He has better things to do than waste the time responding with anything more than a few letters.
*Fixed that for ya.
Btw, where are your alternative suggestions? You bitch about the very good responses offered in this post yet offer no alternatives of your own. That marks you as a garden-variety contrarian troll.]

The original post is a good one, because you should always be considering what the girl will say when sharing your post with other girls. If you have been a generally positive, non-needy guy around her, and then you respond in a similar fashion, her girl convo will go like this:

friend: what did that dude say when you broke up with him?
her: he was really cool about it actually.
friend: Huh? do you think he wanted to break up too?
her: [something that she thought was lying dead on its wheel has started to pick up a steady jog]

[You’re engaging in wishful projection. The second friend is not going to say that to the girl. Instead, all that will happen from the dating advice columnist response that you recommend is that the girl will feel smug she got closure, and her hamster will wind down with satisfaction.
FYI: “ok” is a cool response.]

Silvio Berlusconi is being tried for his sexual behavior and undue advantage of power! When a girl who can work in bar can be a minor she is not a minor; however, if she had sex with an old guy she becomes minor. Femtards and mangina have over powered the entire race of males! perhaps! Poor Berlusconi!

They’re not going to get a conviction, or if they do, it won’t hold up on appeal.

Both Berlusconi and Ruby (who’s real sexy hot) then 17.5, now 18, are publicly maintaining that they didn’t have sex, though she did prance around and put on a sex show for him, together with some other girls in banga banga parties. They both say he just gave her 7k Euros cause he liked her and felt sorry for her. Ruby is completely on Berlusconi’s side, and that’s not likely to change. She wants him on her side and still in power; he can do lots of things for her. She says Berlusconi has acted more like a father figure to her. She’s playing her part.

The prosecution apparently has wiretaps of Berlusconi. They may or may not be legal and admissible. These are after all pretty trivial charges and he is the head of state. Bear in mind that the age of consent is 14 in Italy and that prostitution is legal. What’s illegal is prostitution under the age of 18. She was 17.5 and it seems quite experienced in that persuasion. Like I said, these should be viewed as minor charges. And also as very politically motivated ones. That they certainly are. The justice system in Italy is notoriously politically leftist motivated.

Even if they’re admissible and Berlusconi says to a friend that yeah he had sex w/her and she was real good, he can say in court he was just boasting and exaggerating.

If they have a “beyond a reasonable doubt” standard, I don’t see how any conviction of him stands up. He’s beaten something like 15 other prosecutions while in office.

I knew, when I quickly wrote “agreed” under that woman’s comment, that I clicked the submit button too quickly.

I just agreed with her ability to grasp the general truth of evolutionary biology by the horns, which was in stark contrast to the possibly male commenter above who attacked the initial guy who mentioned game and evolutionary biology.

I also sympathized with her statement (paraphrased here) that “at least a beta male can learn game and improve his odds but we older less attractive women are screwed”.

It showed she has a clue about what’s really going on with the NY dating scene (more than the author of the article, for instance).

I disagreed, at the end of her paragraph, with her implication that men don’t have a leg to stand on if, for instance, they complained about feminism or whatever. She didn’t directly say this, but it was implied.

The “cry me a river, we older women have it harder than men” argument is ultimately a huge threat to men.

Still, she at least had a clue compared to the commenter above her.

I rescind (reconsider) my “agreed” comment however. ;)

Related to this post, check out this Gamma Male who met a woman on Match.com who was 10 years older than he was and then he killed her when she broke up with him:

To give a condensed version of a breakup tale, sloughing out many of the details and nuances:

About 4 or 5 years ago I was dating a Ukrainian girl, and about 9 months into the relationship she came to me to break up. She had a kind of resigned “whatever”/weary smile/”oh well this is life” relaxed demeanor about her. To be fair, geography and various circumstances in our lives made our continued relationship impossible.

She didn’t say it this way, but what she came to say was “…look…it isn’t working out, we want different things, you’re a great person but it’s time to move on with our lives”.

Hilariously (now anyway), I had just found out literally moments earlier that she cheated (while I was away in another country for a month or so. – it was indeed odd that one night at 3 a.m. she texted me “i love you”.)

Anyway, about 5 seconds into her break up talk, I said “yeah, we’re done”.

She looked taken aback.
I said “I know about the guy”. (I had incontrovertible proof, which I withheld for the moment).

She started to screech and wail and she denied it and denied it and denied it, until I showed her the proof. She exploded into tears.

“It was a mistake!!!! I was so lonely!! You were so distant!! I’m so sorry!!”

For literally two days she cried and wept and begged for forgiveness, begging me to “take her back”. To my stony indifference she said “how can you be so CRUEL?”

You can be sure Putin will be immunized and warned by this incident against allowing any kind of feminist left to ever form in Russia after this.

The Italian-Russian axis will solidify. Men’s rights advocates should be paying close attention (this isn’t about legalizing prostitution per se, which isn’t an MRA issue of itself, but about not criminalizing men for it or anything else involving men’s private heterosexual activity).

What will be interesting is if this will jolt more males on the American right (Republicans) to call their politicians to account on where they stand.

So far I have seen no American politician say anything about Berlusconi on this.

If anyone sees a US celebrity or politician comment on Berlusconi, please post a comment about that.

It would be great if the Chateau could do a post on that specific subject (will Obama stab Berlusconi in the back or give him the cold shoulder, etc).

As with the Julian Assange case, the world’s feminists are getting feistier and feistier with their willingness to try to put famous and relatively powerful public male figures in jail for their private heterosexual lives.

I would like to see this be their “Bridge Too Far” or Waterloo.

I’d be amused to see Putin make a wry comment in the Italian Russian state press conference later today.

So did I pull off anything worthwhile here…it seems she was mad, but was it because I acted indifferent(and she saw me with a new girl like a day after she broke up with me) or because my presence annoyed her…

Very well played. As to the last question, it was because you acted indifferent and already had another girl who was into you. You’ve upped your alpha status with you ex’s whole crew, and with her too.

The theory of the site “hypergamy” is indeed correct. If a woman in a LTR dumps you, the next logical question is “Well, who else are you fucking?”

infidelity is the sine qua non of LTR breakups and divorce. most single gals are a little borderline and can’t go without a dick lest separation anxiety. Ergo, she is trying a relationship with someone else and your rival is whomever she dumped you for.

so this is a pissing contest between you and the “new” suitor or the “old” suitor if YOU are the (unbeknown) plaything. You need to out alpha the other guy… and there is no better way to do that then to seem gracious, mature, indifferent and perfect BF material….

“best of luck”

the beauty is hitting her anxieties. “best of luck” is something you say to someone before jumping off a plane. indeed, she is gambling in her dick hopping and cheating. something to bring her risk aversion back and your alpha status in one perfect three word response.

If I were a girl and got “gay” back, I think:

1) ignorant homophobe (most single women are very liberal)
2) less indifferent and more feckless
3) hopelessly infantile and superficial

These aren’t BF material and will likely not vanquish the rival suitor. it helps to know WHY she dumped you and what her specific criticism is. If she thinks you act like you are 12, talking like a 12 year old ain’t gonna help your cause.

[Editor: “best of luck” sounds a little petty and snotty, which translates to bitter. After all, it’s obvious you don’t *really* wish her any luck. She just dumped you! “ok” and silence are still the best options. “gay” is a good response when the girl has sent an overly dramatic break-up email.
Remember, what would an alpha male with a harem do? 9 times out of 10, he would not bother replying. You want to be the alpha male with a harem.]

it would exclude girls fresh out of college, who would be immediately assumed to be hookers/escorts/paid companions…if a serious businessman (outside of renegade fields like entertainment) expects to be taken seriously, he’s expected to keep his young mistresses out of the spotlight, not to cart them around to business functions. sorry bub.

This Ritmo “dude” consistently gives me (and apparently Evil Alpha) the sense that he is really a she with an agenda commenting on this blog.

On the surface the above comment might look like just another guy who happens to believe that same age partners are better to show to prospective business partners.

But take a closer look. There’s an agenda there. There is hatred there. You don’t really have to take that close a look either.

And it’s wrong, of course. A 54 year old businessman will look more powerful and do more business with a 24 year old significant other by his side, provided that she’s a class act who majored in something fascinating and there’s obviously a solid relationship going on.

@Ritmo

My girlfriend spoke no English at a Paris Conference, but she did speak French. So the American CEOs and their wives were struggling to keep up with both her and the locals, not the other way around.

When you’re in Paris, the frame changes as to what language is spoken by those who have the power in the room.

If you want to go back and game the original, you probably can. But why would you? I don’t have time for someone who LJBF’d me 18 months ago but changed her mind about me this fall. I want to see her, but I can’t schedule her in. Others are hotter. I’ll say something nice to her on Facebook now I guess.

Remember, what would an alpha male with a harem do? 9 times out of 10, he would not bother replying. You want to be the alpha male with a harem.

Counter thought: why would an alpha get pissy at all? As a greater beta to lesser alpha, I’d think that being friendlyish would increase social circle, lead to new contacts (and maybe help you in your fake-social circle game). It seems like the lesser betas are the ones doing the whole, oh 3 dates in and I am picking out the china patterns text messages. For the uber alpha, why not keep her in orbit with a general “cool, LJBF”?

[Editor: “cool” and “ok” are of the same school of replies. Both work fine. If you choose the silence route you increase the odds she will contact you again for the femcentric closure, at which point you can run “social circle cool guy” game with the ball in your court. Always remember that if she is contacting you, you have hand. And hand is the prerequisite for tight game.
Addendum: If you don’t reply but you know you will continually run into her after the break-up due to circumstances, just act like you didn’t know you hadn’t replied. That will really torque her hamster.]

Cool, I recall there was a whole drama with PCG that I never followed. I will have to find it.

Another approach test, former friend of friend, recently looked her up on facebook to ask career question. Dayam…turns out she’s gotten hotter in that K-street career girl meets down home sweetness (i.e., skinny and feminine looking) way. Friendly enough interaction, no mewling betaness on my part. What to do next, go for the straight up, let’s meet for drinks or play out some grand email to email interaction.

Getting dumped on FB would be terrible, but I would hope all my FB friends would see the guy for what he really is- “A man who cannot stand up to his honesty in person, but resorts to making a spectical of himself, in cowardly acts.
I had a friend/she was dumped by an email.
These tactics to me, prove the man is not a gentleman nor does he have values and character.

I’m actually with a newer girl now, Ex’s roommate came down to visit some friends sees me in the bar, I introduce new girl (hotter than ex) to ex’s roommate briefly.

Ex’s roommate txts me later that night:

now u got a girlfriend you dont have time to talk to me!!?

I’d flirt w/her roommate some if she’s hot.

But don’t expend lots of energy getting back at the ex. What you want is for her and her friends to think you’re alpha. You don’t want to give them fodder to talk the wrong kind of skit about you. However if your ex complains to her friends that “that bastard I broke up with is even flirting w/my roommate”, so long as the roommate is hot or at least cute, it will translate to alpha in your ex’s girlfriends’ hindbrains.

ignoring someone means you simply can’t be bothered to respond to them. it is neutral. you are not giving them any evidence to indicate what emotions you’re feeling. therefore, any emotion that is construed from it is from the one being ignored.

But don’t expend lots of energy getting back at the ex. What you want is for her and her friends to think you’re alpha. You don’t want to give them fodder to talk the wrong kind of skit about you.

I haven’t done anything to get back at her except for let her friends see me with other girls. That’s just it though, my game is 10x better than when I was with her and I pull hotter women. Pisses me off to think this 6/10 bitch thinks I’m some beta loser while these 8/10s love my shit. Hence hoping the damage control I pulled off at the end left me with some alpha cred in her mind.

Yeah, none of this really matters, I realize that, I suppose I should reign in my ego.

What the new girl looks like is important when the social circle females talk behind your back. She needs to be perceived as an upgrade by them. Never forget that!

My advice to you…to hell with the ex. Focus on the ex’s roommate. She was the one that reported back to your ex. She was the one that invited you to rejoin the social circle. She was your partner in crime at poking your ex in the side. Now reward her with a poke in the backside.

1. Never let them see you sweat. I don’t care if she’s your best friend, an ugly girl you have no intention of banging, or your wife/girlfriend; absolutely no good can come of showing weakness to a woman. Beyond minor vulnerability, of course.

2. When in doubt, do nothing. There is nothing that you can do or say that can possibly make as much of an impression on her as what she can dream up in her head.

3. The worst emotion a woman can feel for a man is PITY. See #1.

If you only remember one thing when dealing with women remember #2. Worst possible scenario it serves as damage control. Best case is that it will send her hamster into overdrive and turn the situation in your favor.

I scored the hottest (non-Asian) girl I’ve ever seen through the use of hard game and beta-avoidance.

More: I’m still with her (on my own terms). I’ve had some practice, but I intend to make sure that whatever happens, it’s on my terms.

She clearly wants this.

So if any fucktard tells you game is shit, tell him he’s a fucktard.

I have no illusions: Without game and understanding basic female psychology, and without ditching the feminist illusions about women I nursed for so long, there’s no chance I’d even have been noticed by this girl.

Let me tell you: There’s nothing like sex with a woman you love, who adores you, and she’s the hottest woman you’ve ever imagined being with. And waking up with her and not giving a damn about her shit tests, because you slip past them. I’d have been raked over the coals in a past life. Wait. I was.

Don’t ask me why, but I’ve had more luck with “Adios” than anything else. Makes no sense to me at all – but they really seem to hate that shit for some reason. Silence, fuck off, etc. just gets them going, but when I text or FBook “Adios”, they freak out.

Again, if I could figure out why that works, I’d write about it.

[Editor: adios is great. Why does it work? I suspect it has to do with the fact that is sounds more dismissive and devil-may-care to say goodbye to a girl in a foreign, and goofy, tongue.]

[Editor: Not a fan of the “best of luck” reply. It can be too easily construed as spiteful. No woman will believe a man she just dumped is really interested in seeing her have luck bestowed upon her. Stick with an indifferent “ok” or a funny “adios”. Better yet, silence.
This shouldn’t need saying, but this applies to hot girls. If you are “gaming” (and I use the term loosely) 45 year old cougars desperate for male attention, then “best of luck” may be just the medicine they need. But who cares about those women?]

@DirkJohanson, “Beware of the “Johanson Old-Lady Tradeoff,” a phenomenom developed by moi which describes what happens if – everything else being equal – you start dating and marry a 35 YO instead of a 25 YO. Lets assume you are 45 and live until you are 95.

If you go with the 25 YO, you get 10 prime years of fucking a chick between ages 25 and 35 you don’t get with the 35 YO. And if you go with the 35 YO, you end up getting stuck expected to bang her when she is between 75 and 85, while if you end up with the younger one, you’ll be dead when she’s 75 and not have to bang her anymore.

Don’t know about you, but I’d rather bang a 25 or 35 YO HB2 than the hottest 75 or 85 YO woman on the planet.”

The important thing to remember is that the less you say the more of a blank slate you create for her to weave her own story.

This means that the context will have an effect on the outcome. Short quips can serve to give her imagination a direction depending upon how she sees you. Long, emasculating dissertations assure her that she made the right choice.

Less is more, unless you a sure of the proper one or two words to use to send her imagination in the direction that you wish for it to go.

A early 20-ish girl I was seeing declared via text that she couldn’t see me anymore. I had just finished banging another girl when I received the text, and was in great frame. I only replied ‘they grow up so fast’, which worked on a couple different levels to retain the upper hand.

Probably not generally applicable, but one time this FWB I had been seeing got wise to the fact that I was seeing a few other girls at the time (she wanted more than FWB but I didn’t) and texted me to tell me that “we” were over. I texted her back, “Wait, they told me if it’s not delivered in 30 minutes it’s free.” Not the most laconic, but I still hear from her today, mostly on unanswered gchats. She’s still chasing. Don’t know if it was the text of what I sent or the general lack of closure, but something worked.

It’s very simple. When you respond with silence, you leave for a girl to guess your reaction, and since you only have been on 3 dates and she rejected you with a “dump-over-email”, she doesn’t have a very high opinion of you. Unlike in a LTR where she has positive memories of you and silence works wonders on a woman’s mind, in this case she will ass-u-me you are angry like a typical Beta she has dated before you. Or she may not think you are bitter and wonders why you haven’t responded, but chances of that are very slim since a woman’s mind is set to justify her behavior and life choices and there is not enough positive experience with you to drive her back to you.

A little background here…I was dating this girl (both of us 30 yrs at that time) casually and when she found out that I had lost my job and that there was a chance for me to get deported out of the US she decided to end it over email…I think this decision was made (in her head) on the last night we hung out with her friends when i disclosed to her that I had lost my job…My response is below..Having the knowledge now I would be like ‘OK’ but yeh this was a year back———-

Hi O-Face –

Sorry for the delay in my response. So I just wanted to let you know that there was something that happened the last time we all met up (with my friends) that just upset me which is why I fell of the radar. You had said something about how the three of us reminded you about a show called powderpuffs, and I made a joke back saying what’s that an Indian show , and you jokingly said “fuck you” and flicked me off (I THOUGHT MY DATE WAS MAKING FUN OF MY ACCENT SO I JUST FLICKED HER OFF). Honestly, O-face, I know you said it in joke, but I am not someone that puts up with a guy cursing her out and flicking her off…even if it’s a joke. I think it’s disrespectful and immature and it’s just not how I expect to be treated. O-face, I did enjoy getting to know you and hanging out with you (i think you are a fun and smart guy) but I think we are on different pages. It is what it is…no hard feelings.

So with that said, I wish you all the best with your search…personal and career wise…take care ..X

MY RESPONSE BELOW:
X, at this point I am little bit tired and turned off by your attitude. Planning to meetup with you is like planning a space trip to the moon. There always seems to be a million variables which you seem to have no control of and it looks like you never have your shit together, be it showing up on time or flaking out on dates or returning phone calls/txts..basic etiquette and protocol, which should never be optional. I risk looking like the bad guy if it turns out you had a genuine reason every single time but I accept that risk, because the greater risk is in allowing bad behavior go unridiculed. So in short, I am glad that I gave you the middle fingered salute, so no regrets there..Good Luck with everything else.

Cool, Where’s the beginning of the PCG odyssey. I am not a guy whose appearance is a 6, more like a young don draper type, so I’ve always had more difficulty in the approach than in the hold. As in, in reading this site, I see that I get high value girls who aren’t exactly my cup of tea because I am cool to them whereas I was beta puppy towards chicks that were my ideal 9’s and 10’s.

Can you read Russian? Is so (given your handle’s choice), your story with PCG reminded me of a http://lib.ru/WELLER/heartbrk.txt – a short story I read 10 years ago that deeply affect me.

Hey. I’d read it but my handle was chosen for other reasons. if you’ve got the story in German or French, I’m your man. As far as Russian goes, I can make out the sounds and ask where the restroom is. And say hi. Oh, and bye. So basically, no.

Any translations available?

I’m still on my Alpha of the Month moment. A little full of myself right now. Writing isn’t safe.

Thanks for such a detailed post. I asked because you initial game was so in line with what described in the short story I linked (couldn’t find translations and google translate blows). It’s interesting that you mentioned her vanity. Somehow throughout my life I noticed that it’s women who are vane who respond to aloof exterior/soft interview. It’s a correlation I need to ponder.

As for outing yourself as beta for wanting a family – gorbi, you sound like a brainwashed PUA. What can be more alpha than wanting to *build* a family, to *create* a new social unit, to bring NEW life into this world and have such a huge input into its development? I don’t care about alpha scale, but wanting to create with a woman of your choice can’t be beta.

It seems like you list of “your terms” is heavily affected with your past experiences. I mean, you aren’t describing anything extraordinary (from my point of you). Admittedly, I haven’t really been in a long-term relationship maybe BECAUSE I don’t dip below the things you mentioned even in my sleep and only recently I became very interested in LTR (possibly monogamous – holy crap!!!) rather than STRs. I think *I* am ready for one now.

You mentioned that 3 month in she made you admit many things your didn’t want to. I really wonder – retrospectively – if you have been sweating way too much and emphazing alpha frame way too much (on purpose). I found that small doses of *conscious* alpha is what it takes to keep things lubricated. Just speaking my truth (appropriately timed) is enough – in fact it’s what attracts. I still realize that in the beginning stages some explicit, conscious game is needed, but frankly speaking, I don’t want to engage in it in anything beyond the first month of knowing a woman – it’s too exhausting and in fact, I bet, a little counter-productive.

Or do you feel like pushing yourself so much out of a comfort zone did in fact transform you as a man on the inside? Did you learn to actually be a better leader by “faking” it first, engaging with a woman who wanted to be lead and heaving to lead heavier than before?

What ARE your terms with PCG? I’ve read the story from May – quite interesting – and would like to find out the outcome.

For your edification, here’s a 9-month wrapup for you.

– Well, first, I’m outing myself as extremely beta; I want a family. And any Alpha dipshit who wants to call me a Beta loser can politely fuck himself in the ass.

– PCG is devoted to me. I’ve managed to be supremely alpha in a Bondish kind-of way. It was work, but after about 3 months, I had the frame down. Now it’s maintenance.

– I get to have sex whenever I want. In fact, it’s entirely on my own terms (most of the time). Good so far. I recall the downward spiral when I was married. I’m avoiding it like a disaster now.

– She’s living with me. It was a bold and terrifying move, but the whole I Get To Fuck Who I Want Being Single in my late 30’s got tired awfully fast, CH notwithstanding. Once you learn the tricks, you just get jaded. So I took the advice of a wise older man and asked her (or told her) to move in with me. She didn’t even blink. It was almost an acknowledgment.

– Any marriage requires a prenup. She agreed. And that was the end of the marriage talk. She assumes she’s going to be with me forever. Anyway, my (marginal) wealth is scattered around and difficult to find. I challenge a lawyer to find it. I’ve lived in 4 countries; you work it out.

– Social time is my own. I have my own friends. I’m happy for her to be there, but there’s some healthy segregation.

– I’ve had “accidents” … twice. Both times, it worked out unbelievably. I actually don’t want to say because it sounds absurd, so I won’t. But let’s just say, very well.

– I have some influence over her career, too. She’s just finished grad school. I’ve got lots of contacts. Alas, if she hits some big time media job, she’s going to rocket up like a spaceship on warp speed. The camera eats her up. But she has a brain, and pretensions of social status, so I don’t have to worry about, … casual deceptions or betrayals. Anyway, the risk you take with a hotter chick than you’ve had.

– I’m very decent to her. I’m not a miser but I’m not carefree with my cash. She’s expected to work. I expect her to haver ambitions.

– She lets me lead. All the time. She WANTS me to lead. She doesn’t attack me for mistakes; but she asks questions. She’s so deferential in public it’s embarrassing.

How are those for MY terms? Much damned better than my marriage.

Things I have to put up with:

– Her incessant and overweening vanity. She can’t walk past a mirror without preening; she inserts herself into pictures; she glows under the light of attention. She understands that I patiently endure it, but that I look down on her for it. It’s a way for me to constantly DHV with her. I used to look on it as a problem. Now I use it to DHV myself whenever possible.

“Don’t be so vain” is my standard response to most of the crap she tries. Or “It’s all about you.”

– She wants me to look after her. I mean, all the time. I’m used to more independent women. She plays “oh I can’t do it” all the time. Open this jar. Etc. Anyway, I stopped whining and decided to play the Leader to her Please Lead Me. Seems to be a good ingredient in the recipe.

– A woman I can have intelligent conversations with; but she’s so SWPL I have to argue every tiny point. She’s SO brainwashed it’s taking me ages to unbrainwash her.

– She’s a better salsa dancer than me. Fuck.

So how are those for terms? Albeit, I engineered some of this and a lot of it may come back and bite me hard in the ass, I’m sure, but I think I have core of something should I want to make it happen.

I’m also smitten with her, so what are you going to do?

So there you are, that’s how it stands. Alas, no more pickup stories.

Other ones, if I ever get over the shock.

I’ve got lots of LTR game stories, some of which went my way, some of which really didn’t. A few were almost disastrous. I caught myself doing some pretty beta shit at one point and modified before it cost me too much.

My girlfriend and I always used to call everything “gay” when we were younger especially and it would just be funny to have a man refer to something I did that way. Men don’t usually use the word that way which I think is what makes it funny.

@n/aGorbachev,
Whatever else it may be, it’s not “beta” to want a wife and children. But when you write:
“I’m also smitten with her, so what are you going to do?”
I can only say: keep your head. 9 months is nothing with the kind of princess you’re *renting.*
Whereas she *owns* you.
I’ve commented a number of times on this situation because you’ve written some sharp things here.
But to marry this one would be a sharp thing in the eye. And you know that. But you’re “smitten.”
Fine women make fools of men who can’t do without them.
There’s just no reason for this love affair to curdle into marriage.
You’ll find something better — of substance — when the thrill has passed. That’s the one you marry and knock-up.
A stranger’s thoughts. FWIW.”

Thanks for your thoughts. A good friend of mine has said the same thing. His exact words were, “Watch out for this one. Hot potato.”

It’s true. She’s entranced by me and the situation, right now. How long that lasts is an open question. I never intend to let up on gaming the GF: I lost one marriage through absolute lack of game. I intend to keep this girl through the careful application of game.

Strategies:

– Don’t be available at all times. Never explain myself.
– Don’t allow her to nag me. I don’t let her even start.
– Never sign up for obligations. Always accept them, if I do, on my own terms and make sure they’re not open-ended.
– Obligations I have are unsaid and understood: She cheats on me once, she’s gone. Immediately; no remorse or discussion. Not only must she NOT cheat on me, I must be reasonably happy that the law is both obeyed and seen to be obeyed. I’ve made it clear through discussing others or other situations that I won’t tolerate any woman I’m with straying for any reason, even revenge. It may be unfair, but there’s the price for being with me. My obligation: I won’t lie to her. I don’t. I submitted to this easily, because it actually gives me vast amounts of power. I play it well. There are other obligations, too, but the understood ones are not negotiable.

A note on the not-cheating thing: While I note that it’s unfair, given that I had a moment with an ex, I *ALSO* said that yes, it’s unfair but I promise to be honest (and about my feelings) at all times, so she knows exactly where she stands (it’s just what I do); and that when women cheat it’s different than when men cheat. And the reasons for that. She was offended, but ironically, and this is the important take-away point:
My refusal to negotiate this as a response (“What if I make a mistake?”) has her respecting me more. She actually admitted this later.

It’s true: Women like Alphas and Alpha attitudes more than pansy attitudes. On the other hand, should she lie to me, I told her on finding out that she’d lied to me, especially when I’m being honest, means she’ll be cut off – completely. I am disgusted by betrayal of all kinds.

She respected that, too. It also led to the most Alpha moments of my life. Ever.

Other strategies:

– Never stop illustrating that other women want me. Even when it’s contrived. Or apparently unnecessary.

– Offer support and safety. Alpha shit aside, this is crucial. Women who feel safe and held will let you do things “equals” won’t. It activates something basic in them: The Man Is Protecting Me. They *LOVE* it. It literally makes them wet. DO NOT kowtow to them or their demands; protect them, even when it’s not what they precisely want. Alpha assholery is fine, but being the Alpha Protector makes women wet, too. Game theory guys forget that. In LTRs, this is important.

– Be committed. I require it from her; to get her to surrender this voluntarily, considering her more-or-less endless options, I need to not just demonstrate high SMV but require her to Woman Up. By having to live up to standards, it makes her feel like she’s working for something that’s worth it.

– Rewarding her: when things go well, give her clear non-material rewards. I also listen to her, I’m there for her. When necessary. She has trouble with the car? I make a call to AAA for her, while she hunts for paperwork, and they’re there for her before she finds it. I did it naturally. She’s amazed by my almost superhuman competence. She has come to defer to me in these situations – while being required to keep her head clear, herself. While I’m not more competent tan the next guy, next to most women, the truth is, most men are absurdly more qualified to do almost everything.

– She calls me MacGuyver. Also “magic brain”. Again, I play up this natural difference between men and women as much as possible. In the 8 months we’ve been together, more or less, she’s come to rely on me for all sorts of things – and I make sure I’m always one step ahead of her.

– Sex. I make sure she’s utterly overwhelmed all the time. On my own terms. She’s said repeatedly that her brain stops working before, during, and for a while after sex. I intend to keep it that way. More or less permanently. I like variety, too, so I’m good at avoiding sex when I want to starve it for a bit. A strategy that women use, but I’m reversing it.

Potential problems:

– That damned vanity. At some point, my ability to redirect it into a more-or-less constant neg is going to fail. I mean, it’s par for the course with a woman like her – but it’s so tedious. It’s not just about her looks, either – everything. Among her friends, she has to be the center of attention at all times. When I’m with them, I find myself gravitating away from her groups – the Pretty Girls and their empty, meaningless drivel. It’s painful. The result: even her friends see me as the aloof, serious and cool Older Man. One of them would absolutely bed me were I to show any interest. That’s another thing about these women (at this level): they’re driven by their vanity, like some men, but exaggerated. It’s out of control. Her friend would fuck me every other weekend just to show she *could* do it, I’m sure. I know it’s poison, but just to see the character of this psychology in potential action –

Still beats having a frumpy 35 year-old wife, gotta tellya. But fuck, you have to deal with this shit.

– Work and money: She seems to live within her means, but has no interest in making money beyond winning the lottery or hooking into it. It’s the rich-girl thing. IE, get a big ball of cash and then make it work for you. There’s no talk about making the big ball of cash or sacrificing for it; that’s a class issue. Also a woman issue. She grew up wealthy, but her family is relatively lower-middle-class now; no more private schools or twice a month flights to Europe. She worked in a coffee shop because she needed a job right away, and got into it; she wanted convenience and *needed* to pay her rent and bills. That was a total shock for her, with her post-graduate situation. She took it well, and gives off the smell of independence, but Mom and Daddy (especially) looked after her her whole life; the rich Persian dudes that circle her like vultures have no problem being Daddy for her. I don’t want to be that: I’ve made it known that I expect her to contribute. But I’ve quietly made it clear that I don’t mind taking care of her practical needs – not her handbags or shoes. And she needs to contribute. I’m not miserly – and I don’t think she knows how much money I have, and I’m not open with it in any clarity – she thinks I’m just a normal guy with a job. I don’t think I’ll ever be completely clear about it.

– Her religion. The kids, should there be any, must belong to hers. It’s small and nearly negligible; any loss of children is considered devastating. I have no problem – she’s not Muslim, and in fact has a generalized hostility towards Islam, which, given its nature, is likely healthy.

If I can deal with this – making sure I’m not being Money Man and expecting her to pull her own weight – or she needs to surrender more of her independence, which I don’t think is very healthy – then, …

Well, that’s a balance that needs to be worked out.

I haven’t had a LTR with someone like this in a long time. Okay, ever. I’m trying to think like a chess player: many moves ahead. But there are two ways of playing chess well: Being really fucking smart and just being able to see the potential results and/or having played so much you know the likely results.

In a STR, I’m good. In a LTR, I have little to no relevant experience now – just some ideas about what not to do.

So the occasional warning from the anonymous blogosphere is actually kinda useful.

@Sasha
@Gorbachev
You mentioned that 3 month in she made you admit many things your didn’t want to. I really wonder – retrospectively – if you have been sweating way too much and emphazing alpha frame way too much (on purpose). I found that small doses of *conscious* alpha is what it takes to keep things lubricated. Just speaking my truth (appropriately timed) is enough – in fact it’s what attracts. I still realize that in the beginning stages some explicit, conscious game is needed, but frankly speaking, I don’t want to engage in it in anything beyond the first month of knowing a woman – it’s too exhausting and in fact, I bet, a little counter-productive.
Or do you feel like pushing yourself so much out of a comfort zone did in fact transform you as a man on the inside? Did you learn to actually be a better leader by “faking” it first, engaging with a woman who wanted to be lead and heaving to lead heavier than before?

You know how you get into a dynamic with someone – and that defines the relationship?

The dynamic has been pretty alpha from the start; and I wavered slightly, but I make sure I prop up the original conditions from time to time.

About relaxing relationship game permanently – uh, no. Not with this fish. Ever. Her basic SMV is so much higher than mine (on an objective level – as outsiders would judge), and her sense of entitlement is relatively strong – that I need to maintain my SMV as high as possible.

At the same time, I’m giving her solid reasons to stay with me.

She’s recently gotten all Family-talk. She’s 28, after all, and has a mind to do what she wants to do. I’m careful about 2 things: She doesn’t get pregnant accidentally, and it’s on my terms. She seems to want that. That I actively *want* to have children at some medium-term point makes a huge difference for her. She wants me to want her as a potential mother for my children: this is a huge difference when she’s compared to other women I know.

She wants me to know how great a mother she would be (though the narcissism gets to me – I can imagine what she’ll be like as a married woman for a guy who isn’t always on the ball). This is a woman who needs to be with a dominant male, despite her feminist talk. She talks the talk, but submits wholeheartedly.

In other words, feminism is convenient for her, but like all attractive (or very attractive) women, what she wants is a man who values her and is comparable: status is more important than ideology. For an ugly or less attraction woman, ideology becomes important.

Her feminism is a useful crutch. She falls back on it. But it’s not inherently meaningful in any real sense. Whether in the bedroom or outside it, she wants a man to possess her and demand from her. She thrives on it. Even when she resists it. She only really respects men who do this to her.

Far from being damaged, as feminists would say, she’s a healthy female. She wants the right mix of alpha and beta so she can have what she sees as a powerful man who can actually be with her.

I agree. I think this is one part where his approach in fact undermines LTR game.

[Editor: Are you sure you understand the approach advocated here? There are plenty of posts in the archives detailing the strategy of vulnerability game and the handicap principle.]

Alpha and Beta are not opposites of each other – they are compliments. All Alpha, no Beta = “Bad Boy”, no long-term potential, no bonding, no healthy children. I think Alpha and Beta behaviors work wonders in tandem. The thing is, women and being around women will increase men’s beta behaviors almost automatically. Yet I don’t think a man should “fight” those – just concentrate on strengthening and cultivating his Alpha while fully engaging in Beta when appropriate. That’s why “Alpha” guys who want kids and openly express that desire are like a needle in a haystack for women who want family/kids.

There is no need to encourage the hamster to run faster and fast in LTR – it’s actually of a benefit for a RL to slow it’s run down. One can even be in a fully monogamous relationship without losing any “status” points, as long as a men is such that it’s clear he is desirable to others. No need to exercise those options.

I hear you on vanity and habits of $. My friends has a Persian g/f and while she is doing all-right financially (he was living on a grad student stipend until recently and even now is not making much as a post-doc in NYC), he constantly talks about implicit $-expectations. But he didn’t sell out to quant finance – at least for now – and pursued his academic passions.

I read your post on handicap principle. I disagree with *suppressing* beta behaviors – I would prescribe developing more alpha behaviors/identity. It’s true that both can’t be expressed in the same moment and learning new attitudes is difficult, but emphasis on weakness of beta is off – for LTR.

For example in your last post you state:

OPTIONS = INSTABILITY

It really depends on how you view and use those options. I can’t imagine one *wanting* to be in an unstable marriage with children. When I marry, I’d use my potential options to create stability (not without some flex n the structure). Somewhere else you mentioned that it’s important to instill terror in a woman – which can’t coexist with comfort necessary for LTR.

Persian beauties are a special breed – they diffuse an almost rank femininity into a room. There are few types of women more subtly, and devastatingly, flirtatious. They love to dress up and they smell too good. And when you’re at a party, and the night feels right, and you’re free to hunt, there’s nothing better than catching the eye of one of these wicked creatures. So I sympathize.

But I see the ferocious strategizing and intensity of your response as telling. She doesn’t need hand when she has a thumb fat enough to crush what’s under it. To coin a phrase she seems to have bluebrained you. And this is where smart guys who game need to be careful. Words are easy, but facts are hard. In the very tense thickness of your paragraphs I can feel the deeper dread. You remain too impressed by her beauty; you do not control it; and you can’t be truly enjoying it if you’re already exchanging an extraordinary romance for a fussy and inappropriate fantasy of marriage.

The point of exceptional pussy is to ride until you fall off. Not into the sunset.

@n/aGorbachev,
Persian beauties are a special breed – they diffuse an almost rank femininity into a room. There are few types of women more subtly, and devastatingly, flirtatious. They love to dress up and they smell too good. And when you’re at a party, and the night feels right, and you’re free to hunt, there’s nothing better than catching the eye of one of these wicked creatures. So I sympathize.

Try a salsa club. Intoxicating. It’s the plight of the testosterone laden.

But I see the ferocious strategizing and intensity of your response as telling. She doesn’t need hand when she has a thumb fat enough to crush what’s under it.

That’s just what I write. You get my undiluted thoughts. In real life I’m as calm as a cucumber growing somewhere very aclm.

To coin a phrase she seems to have bluebrained you. And this is where smart guys who game need to be careful. Words are easy, but facts are hard. In the very tense thickness of your paragraphs I can feel the deeper dread.

Not so deep, I assure you.

You remain too impressed by her beauty; you do not control it; and you can’t be truly enjoying it if you’re already exchanging an extraordinary romance for a fussy and inappropriate fantasy of marriage.

My fantasy of marriage involves kids and a family. Wanted that most of my life. I’m uninterested in the Alpha image of men galavanting around carousing and hooking up without any obligations at all; I like some obligations, just on my own terms.

A different model of alpha behavior, perhaps. Or not alpha at all. Which suits me fine.

The point of exceptional pussy is to ride until you fall off. Not into the sunset.

My intention is not to all off this one – or to step off when I so choose.

As I wrote to you a while back — no one sane denies that most men will want wife and kids. Very few men have the time, money, and, most importantly, libido to live the playboy’s life. That’s understood.

My strong impression from what you’ve written is that this particular girl is better suited to the satisfaction of your sack and your ego than the long cultivation owed a wife and mother.

That’s all. No need for me to belabor the point. I’d like to note your civility and class in replying to my presumptuous comments.

As I wrote to you a while back — no one sane denies that most men will want wife and kids. Very few men have the time, money, and, most importantly, libido to live the playboy’s life. That’s understood.

Yeah, that’s true. All of it.

My strong impression from what you’ve written is that this particular girl is better suited to the satisfaction of your sack and your ego than the long cultivation owed a wife and mother.

I think you’re handling her about perfectly myself. Telling her to move in with you was also a good move, given your goals with her and kids with her before too long.

The biggest danger with her I’d think is that she meets and dates a Persian or media rich guy with some real strong game while she’s still in her smokin hot 20s. The dating part with her is a lot less likely to happen when she’s living w/you, so long as you’re still applying game and avoiding pedestalizing or supplicating beta, as you are. Comfort “beta” is great and good.

Her basic SMV is so much higher than mine (on an objective level – as outsiders would judge), and her sense of entitlement is relatively strong – that I need to maintain my SMV as high as possible.

This is the wrong way to think, and it’s dangerous to think. Change this to her SMV at 9 or 9+ is higher than yours WITHOUT STRONG GAME and great sex. But you’re applying those things which makes you a 9 with her too. Her hot friends are perceiving you that way. Yeah guys you’ve known a long time, your brother etc. don’t see it that way because they have the pre game Gorb in their heads to a large extent. How much do they know about the extent of your exploits in Korea for example?

Using your connections to help get her a media job in front of the camera could be a dangerous thing to do. Have you talked with her about that? I have a feeling it’s what you’re gonna end up doing though. Well it might work out.

I wouldn’t rush into having kids. Instead stay living w/her for a couple of years. Then maybe if it’s still solid.

You don’t seem to have been traveling for your work as much since your fall return from that month in Korea. You used to go on pretty extended overseas trips for your work it seems though. Do you see that as a problem if it’s the case again?

I agree. I think this is one part where his approach in fact undermines LTR game.

[Editor: Are you sure you understand the approach advocated here? There are plenty of posts in the archives detailing the strategy of vulnerability game and the handicap principle.]</I.

Editor,

You don't focus on material that makes sense for long-term game, especially in tougher situations – where the objective SMV balance has been thrown out by the use of attraction game in the first place.

Your coverage of attraction is stellar. Your coverage of LT strategy and maintenance less so – though most of what you write can be adapted by the clever for that purpose.

I think that's what Sasha and others notice the perceived absence of.

Personally, I've noticed a distinct lack of the traditional CR contempt for female nature and matching female presumption. Where the hell did you put it? Settling down?