Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Princess Emma turns 10

Monkey just keeps growing and growing...it's just WEIRD. I keep thinking of her as the baby but truthfully, sometimes she says things that make me think that she is more mature than the rest of us. I was reminded today of the reason I started this blog and figured with school starting and her elevating to "intermediate" school, it was high time to celebrate! Here you go...have a FABULOUS week!

Emma Delaney and the Old Toad

In a very hot place, in a very tiny house, the Princess of frogs, toads and all creatures that hop was having a bit of a crisis. Emma tried very hard to be kind to all of the little hoppers in her kingdom, but admittedly, she was not a big fan of toads. They farted a lot and had bad breath, which according to her mom, the Queen of the Universe, were not very good manners. When going about her business this morning, Emma noticed that there was a slight ruckus in the hall closet that did not seem to be working itself out on its own. So, as ruler of all things that hop, she knew she had to do something. Emma stood at the door for a long time thinking she wished she could turn off her nose when there were bad smells around…this was NOT going to be good. Shortly after the last ‘bang’ and ‘crash’, she was joined at the door by Miss Halloween, Queen of all Actual Cats.

“Good morning Princess Emma.”

“Good morning Queen Halloween.”

“What seems to be happening in the hall closet here? It doesn’t sound good.”

“Well, Miss ‘weenie, I was just trying to decide what to do about it. You know that dealing with toads has, well, side effects.” Emma wrinkled up her nose to demonstrate.

“Yes, love, I know, but being the ruler of all hopping creatures, you are obligated to help in difficult situations. What can I do to assist?” Halloween purred.

Halloween sat back on her orange and black haunches and took off her backpack. She rummaged around with one paw until presenting Emma with two clothes pins.

“I have these left from my unfortunate meeting with the skunk clan of Pearland. They keep applying for honorary acceptance into the actual cat clan but they are, well, nothing like actual cats. It doesn’t make sense. Anyway, put one on your nose, it holds pretty tight.”

Emma gratefully accepted the temporary solution, put the clothes pin on her nose and looked back towards the door. The occasional ‘bang’ and ‘crash’ continued in the hall closet along with mumbling of some sort. It sounded like Old Toad’s language might be as bad as his breath. She looked over to see that Halloween had put on her clothes pin, righted her backpack and had given her the paws up sign that all was ok. Emma put her hand on the knob and turned ever so slowly and opened the door at the same rate. A huge, warm cloud floated out of the door. Although her mouth was covered, Emma thought it burned her eyes as much as it would her nose hairs and waved quickly to try to disperse it.

Halloween coughed. “Good grief little girl. This is some foul air for sure.”

“Yes, I agree. I need to look into better ventilation for the closet dwellers; this is not good, not good at all.”

Emma leaned her head in, squinting her eyes and tried to figure out what was going on. She saw little tiny houses on every shelf amongst the chenille bedspreads, cotton towels and comfy sheets. When she finally adjusted her eyes, she realized there was a hopping washcloth on the floor of the closet. This is the maker of the crashing noises. She leaned down to pick it up and saw, underneath, a befuddled and hopping mad Old Toad.

“For the love of all things brown and bumpy! Could not one good soul in this closet come to my aid?” He was breathing heavy and looked quite upset.

Emma sat on the floor in front of him. “Hello Mr. Toad. I am sorry you were having a hard time.” She looked amongst the shelves above to see every door and window buttoned up tight. “There doesn’t seem to be anyone about that could have helped. I heard your crashing from my room this morning so I came over to see what I could do.” She motioned to Miss Halloween at her side. “This is Miss ‘weenie, Queen of all Actual Cats. She graciously agreed to assist.”

Old Toad bowed to them both. “Thank you for rescuing me. I was making repairs to my roof, accidentally hit the stack of linens on the shelf above and down one came, like a trap. I have never been more frightened or embarrassed in my life.” He looked at her, over his spectacles, “Good grief girl, what is that on your nose?”

“It’s a clothes pin.”

“What’s it for?”

Emma looked up at Halloween and then back and Old Toad. “Well, it’s because you…well Mr. Toad, you are a bit smelly.”

Toad hopped up high, laughing as he went. “That I am child, that I am. I forget sometimes because I live with myself and I think my nose stopped smelling about the time I was 5 years old. I burnt out my smeller you know.”

“Smeller, that’s funny Toad.” Emma and Halloween laughed.

“How would you ladies like to join me for a cup of tea? I promise it tastes better than I smell!”

“We would love that Old Toad. Thank you for that generous offer.” Halloween said, giving Toad a curtsy.

Toad disappeared into his little house and after much banging, crashing and breaking came back outside to the front porch table with a tray of cookies, a pot of tea and a sweet pea blossom in a vase.

“My, my Toad. What a beautiful tray of treats!” Emma exclaimed.

“Only the best for royalty, my dear.”

Once he was done pouring, Miss ‘weenie, Queen of all Actual Cats and Miss Emma, ruler of all Frogs, Toads and creatures that Hop, picked up their tea filled thimbles and drank with Old Toad. Toad took a long time. Emma and Halloween were done quickly and moved on to the tiny button sized cookies.

“Toad, I am glad I came to see you today. You bake tasty little cookies.”

“Thank you Princess Emma. I am sorry you have to wear a clothes pin on your nose.”

“It’s okay. If you don’t mind, I would like to come by for tea more often.” Emma licked her fingers after she put the last sugar covered nugget in her mouth.

“I don’t mind at all. I don’t really have a lot of friends. Maybe I should pass out clothes pins?” Toad chuckled and held his belly while he laughed.

“Not a bad idea, Mr. Toad. I will also spread the word to my kingdom so that the traveling cats that come your way know you have time and tea for them all.” Halloween said in her most official sounding voice.

“Maybe I should open a Bed & Breakfast in the closet?” Toad pondered.

“Yes, but be sure they get their clothes pins in advance.” Emma said, laughing so hard until Halloween and Toad laughed with her too.

So the Princess, Queen and Old Toad giggled and gobbled and had a wonderful time. Sometimes it’s just better to take a chance. You will never know where you will find a friend, even a stinky one, but it may be under a washcloth in the hall closet in a tiny house, in a very hot place.

About Me

Writer, local funny girl, kick ass mom, foodie and film nerd.
I am fortunate that I get to do what I want. Sometimes I write for children, sometimes for grownups. I royally piss people off or mildly amuse them. Anything in between wouldn’t be very interesting. I am making my happily ever after up as I go. Come on, you know you want to, so do it!