Being Kermit

For decades men have been disparagingly referred to as frogs. The opposite of a prince.

But what if you are being frog-like? Not in behavior, but in voice.

As in croaky.

The result of a cold.

This week I find myself in this situation with two new men wanting to call and get to know me. The problem is my voice sounds like a man. A nasally man.

Not a great first impression.

The sound of one’s voice can be powerfully enticing. I’m a sucker for a deep-voiced man, as are many women. And I’m told my voice is alluring — normally.

Not so much this week.

I’ve been getting by with acknowledging their sweet, concerned voice mails with wittily worded emails. However, I know I can’t keep them at bay forever. I’m going to have to hop in and actually croak on the phone.

I’ll do my best not to ribbit. Or worse, to bray like the cacophony of bullfrogs I heard after a thunderstorm in Brunei. I’d never heard flogs bleat that loudly. They were calling for a lover — any lover. I must not bray for an indiscriminate roll in the hay. However, I was told the deep-throated bullfrogs had bigger harems, so there must be something to that.

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