copyranter

About Me

The Best Ad Critic In The World™ (™ pending), but I'm done as a reviewer, at least full-time. I'm also a damn good copywriter with 20+ years experience in NYC. Hire me for your in-house creative department, and I will help you make better, more interesting, and more effective ads/branded content. Samples/resume available upon request. Salary request is very reasonable.

Thursday, December 29, 2005

On the 11th Evil day of X-mas..."

"On the 10th Evil day of X-mas..."

This story comes to us from the evil state of Washington.Authorites believe the vandals used stolen "three-foot tall plastic candy canes" to destroy several Holiday displays.The baby Jebus is crying this sad morn.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

"On the 7th Evil day of X-mas..."

Friday, December 23, 2005

"On the 6th Evil day of X-mas..."

(AP)—Today, Cardinal Bishop Angelo Sodano was excommunicated for assaulting Pope Benedict XVI Joseph Ratzinger yesterday afternoon in St. Peter's Square.Sodano was tackled and beaten bloody by the Pope’s personal bodyguards after, what a witness described as, “trying to pull Ratzinger’s face off.”Said Sodano, “I liked the hat. I just thought the mask was a bit too much; I mean, what I thought was a mask.”Ratzinger sustained a small abrasion on his chin.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

"On the 2nd Evil day of X-mas..."

Friday, December 16, 2005

Pot? Kettle. Kettle? Pot.

For those of you who read media gossip site Gawker.com, the above is a familiar sight. It’s a business-to-business banner ad on Gawker, a consumer site, advertising the Gawker advertising opportunity. Yes, Gawker is telling their own readers, the readership that makes their editors and businessfolk money, that they are “FOR SALE.” Now, there are two positives to this strategy. One, it’s free premium ad space. Two, many of the people who make ad space purchase decisions also read Gawker. The two negatives? One, despite calling its readers “brilliant”, “skinny”, etc. as the first panel of the above banner says, the END result is that Gawker is calling its readers, straight to their faces, Whores, with Gawker serving as pimp.Two, Gawker is letting us know that they are, in fact, BIGGER Media Whores than everybody and anybody their editors call Media Whores—which is pretty much everybody and anybody. But, is this second point really a negative? I don't think so.Now excuse me, I’ve got to get back to gently flicking my tongue along the underside of a client’s Nutsack.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

More Foote, Cone & Belding personnel moves

Yesterday, as was first reported here, Bob Stealer, the man who created the Planter’s Peanut (right), was promoted to Worldwide Creative Director. Today comes a rash of additional announcements from FCB: Leslie Ann Shirker was named EVP, Account Supervisor; Barry Yessman was hired as Worldwide CEO Steve Blamer’s Executive Assistant; Bill Lackey joined the Creative team as a Junior Copywriter; Suzy Caver was bumped up to Senior Account Exec; Edward Foiston was brought on as EVP, Media Director; and lastly Larry Lickass was elevated to Creative Supervisor.(Update: OK, you consumers are IDIOTS. No wonder cargo pants were a big seller. A "proactive" lad emailed me yesterday wondering WHY I was posting a boring FCB personnel item. READ THE NAMES, Bozo.)

Monday, December 12, 2005

Sticks & Stones may break his bones...

This is Steve Blamer, Foote, Cone & Belding’s Worldwide CEO. According to today’s Adweek, Parent company Grey and he have settled a lawsuit that concerned some sort of contract breach.In other FCB news, The ad agency has promoted Bob Stealer to Worldwide Creative Director.

Monday, December 05, 2005

When You Care Enough To Tear This Postcard Out Of A Magazine—Which Depicts A Woman Placing A Postcard In A Mailbox—And Place It In A Mailbox.

The collective JOY felt by all of the recipients of this little piece of Starbucks Cheer (click images for upclose JOY) could light all the Holiday Trees in the world forEVER. I just bet it could.(images courtesy of the sly Christy Kilgore, aka thekilgore.)

Thursday, December 01, 2005

So close, you can SMELL it.

First it was Tit Cleavage. Now it’s Clit Cleavage (click image for the near upskirt). Poor Dr. LoveDaddy of eharmony, Neil Clark Warren, has probably already tracked down this poor misguided model to tell her real TRUE love can only be found by filling out 4,000 question questionnaires, listening to a 12-CD set about relationships, and paying premium fees.