Topic: Fan-Fic

Told you Iwould try it,and here it is.

"...it is my distint pleasure to welcome back to this chamber a woman who has been more at home here than anyone else inthe Senate's history.I present to you Leia Organa Solo,envoy from Dubrillion." The hunter,farther down below the senetors,smirked behind her helmet.Way to butter it up, Fey'lya,the hunter thought. Her eyes finally gazed upon the sesator begining to speak.She began to lean forward,but cuaght herself in mid-lean;she regained control over her body and fell back into the shadows. The hunter wore her armor,although,she rarely took it off during a"mission."The senator seemed to also send a messageof toughness.Leia Organa Solo had chosento wear black boots and slacks,and a cerulean tunic.She wore her hair up in a simple tail.No make-up,the hunter admired that,few women dared to go without it."...wish I inform you of a grave crisis in the Outer Rim.A previously unknown species has launched serious attacks in the Rim.They wiped out the ExGal-4 station on Belkadan,attacked the world of Dubrillion,destroyed the New Republic Rejuvenator at Helska,and annihilated theworld of Sernpidal by crashing it's moon into it.We managed to locate the alien base at Helska4 and destroy it,but this does not end the threat,"the senator paused in scanned the others,the hunter melted into the shawdows.Clearing her throat the senator continued,"On Belkadan Luke Skywalker foundevidence ofan ecological disaster that radically altered the atmospheric composition of the world.This disaster hasbeen traced to an alien agent who was present on the world and slain there after he attacked Mara Jade Skywalker and my brother.The evidence seems to suggest that the aliens wre preparing the world to be used as a base of invasion." A senator that the hunter did not recognize interrupted,"If it would please the senate,I would like to ask the speaker if she is the same Leia Organa Solo who undertook to mediate the Rhommamool-Osarian dispute?" Organa Solo put on a sabacc face,"SEnator Wynl is well aware that I am the same person whowent to try to broker peace in that conflict." "And was it not the action of a rash Jedi Knight thatforced the Osarians to launch theattack that embroliod the system in war,killing Nom Anor,the Rhommamolian leader,in the process?" Leia raised both hands ,"With all due respect Senator,the Rhommamolian -Osarian conflict has little or nothing to do with the invasion I'm talking about." The hunter saw Fey'lya turn to face the senator,who was at his left,"Little or nothing?this would suggest there might be some sort of connection." Uneasily Leia nodded,"When the invader attacked Mara,he first tried to destroy Artoo-the astromech droid my brother uses.The alien was shouting the same sort of anti-droid rhetoric that the Red-Knights of Life on Rhommamool used in their crusades." "So you are saying that these Red-Knights are behind the posioning of Belkadan,destuction of Serinpidal,and the attackon Dubrillion?And they had weapons sufficient to dragamoon out of it's orbit, yet were not able to protect their leaders from attack by the Osarians?Am I understanding you correctly?" " No, I do not believe you are,Cheif Fey'lya,"the hunters trained earseasily picked up on the iciness in Leia's vocie,"I don't belive that the alien on Belkadan was influenced by the Red Knights,but it is possible of a covert plot to disrupt the New Republic." A Rodian stood,"You would have us believe,Envoy,that your effort failed because of a conspiricy born from outside the galaxy." "That is not what I am saying." The senator from Sullest also rose to his feet,"I do not believe it is ,either.I believe you are trying to deflect us from the threat the Jedi present to the New Republic.It was a Jedi who raised the tension level of the Osarians,triggering the war.You tellus Jedi reported to you about the alien and what he said.I amnot so stupid that I cannot see the effort of a Jedi to turn us away from the troubletheir order has spawned." Thehunter scrowled and he face darkened,she did not like the way this meeting was going.Not that she cared about Organa Solo or the Senate,but she had a mission to complete.The hunter just did not looked forward to completing phase 2.She had no love of extinguishing the lives of the men she served next to.It would take all of her wiil-power to walk into the Senator's office. "THE JEDI ON BELKADAN WAS MY BROTHER,LUKE SKYWALKER,JEDI MASTER!!!!" "And who would more want to have the errors of his disciples forgotten?" Leia forced herself to relax,"I am well aware of the controversy surronding the Jedi,but I ask you in all good conscience,to focus beyond that debate and concentrate on what Iam telling you.An invasion has been launched from outside this galaxy,and it will destroy the New Republic if you do not act to stop it now." The hunter scanned the crowed of senators and saw what Organa Solo would soon relize.Leia would get no back-up from them.She sighed heavely and began to head toward the Senator's office. * * * Leia was shocked when she walked into her office.She saw figure standing with their hands clasped behind theirback and was standing ina rammod posture."Call off your Noghri,Leia.I do not wish to kill them just becuse they strike first,"came a mechanicized voice. Leia walked behind her desk andnearly fell over backward.The warrior wore a type of armor Leia hadn't seen for years.Silently,Leia tried to enter the mind ofthe warrior,but only recieved a faint trace of the Force;and with came a sense that the warrior ad been trained to resist it."Yes, it is the same kind Fett wore many years ago,and do not try to probe my mind.You will come to no avail and perhaps harm,I am not known for my patience.Now,Leia,call of your Noghri , I will not ask again. Do you understand?" The Senator nodded and said shakily,"S-st-stand down." The novice,the hunterassumed,lashed outward,toward her neck.The hunter easily grabbed it,and without much difficultly,twisted it back until several pops and cracks had been heard,"It is dislocated,"the hunter said finally'"and is broken in several places .I would recommend that you goto the medic ward quickly."The elder Noghri snarled but both complied,leaving the Leia and the hunter alone. "What do you want?,"aked Leia sittingdown,and regaining her composure."Tocomplete the task I have be given." "And that is?"The hunter cocked an eybrow,thiswas going to be easierthan shethought. "I will not minced words,SEnator.Mandalore offers his services;we only wishto know if you will accept.Oh,and what is said in this office,will stay here,"the hunter wanted to make sure that the message got across. Organa Solo nodded serenly,"And what service exactly does your Mandalore offer?" The hunter reached intoan ammopack attached to her belt,and pulled out a slim holo-chip;slowly she made it dance between her gloved fingers,until she was sure it had fully captuered the Jedi's attention.With one finger she slid it acroos the table.and whispered,"I am Atin Vod;member of the Dar'jetii clan.And myMandalore told me to tell you one word'Troops'.

Re: Fan-Fic

I apologize for any spelling and/or grammer mistakes.Oh,and payattention to what Atin thinks or says,how she lastly refers to Leia,what clan she is from,what she does with the holo-chip,what she leftout on what she doesn't care for and whyshe doesnt like the idea of completing phase 2.

Re: Fan-Fic

Then:(As in the past)

Purple lights strobed above the hunter,casting a wicked glow against her pale armor.Desipte the armor,many people stayed out of her way;leaving her room to search the cantina for her contact. "Wanna drink?"asked a pale druggie.The hunter didn't respond with words,instead she raised a gloved finger."Ah,so you do want one,eh?"Again she raised another finger,"Two?" The hunter shook her head,if he didn't get it now he never would.Silently her gloved fist found itself in the druggies face. The man fell to the ground without a sound and was completely forgotten. Climbing the short stairs leading to the watch box,a strong voice called to her,"Atin,over here."The hunter hung her head slightly,"They sent you didn't they?" A small man sat at the small table.He had a pint of something that smoked.Atin knew this man,Mandalore Spinx.He didn't wear his armor in public-and that was not normal for most but,Atin had grown up with this man.He had dark skin,a blonde flattop,and pale blue eyes.Spinx was shorter than her but,dynamite did come in packages. "So,what's my mission?"she growled quickly."Mandalore Devon wants you to deliver a message."Atinwas glad that no one could see her past the dark visor,she was going to laugh,"So,that's what I've sunk to,eh?A simple delivery boy?"Spinx shook his head,"No.Devon wants you to deliver this to Organa Solo."He pushed a slinder holo chip toward her,"Do you know what it is?" Atin nodded,"The Dream?"Spinx nodded,"It's time to put our millena long plan into action."

Now:

Leia watched the holo-chip intently,"What is it?"The hunter looked her square in the eye,"You need to watch it to understand our plight."Leia took the chip off the table and slipped it into a player.The hunter braced herself she knew what was on the tape and the history behind it. A Mandalore of long past appeared on the screen.He was decked out in the silver version armor of the Neo-Crusaders.In the background was an entire army."In the future,if you are watching this,you know what we must ask of the Republic.The dar'jetii-the Sith- have taken our people as slaves.We must allie ourselves with them.Our people are your's to command,Organa Solo.We have all our own resources;we need nothing from you but,your assitance.In return of our sevices we ask of your help to liberate our people.The ambassador before you will explain."

Re: Fan-Fic

Yes, this fic is great and deserves a title!

Great writing by the way, I can't wait to know what comes next... but you would like to pay more attention to your typing and spacings between quotes and punctuation... It did get me confused more than once!

Re: Fan-Fic

Sorry for my sucky grammer.On the old boards I think I explained why there are so many mistakes.You see,I have a very,very,very old computer and keyboard.And when you have like 3 brothers and a little sis some things tend to get broken and messed up.You have to pound the keys and spacebar for anything to appear on the screen.I have no idea if this has a title.Kara,my BF,and I are working on a manga.I write the story plot and edit parts of the story and she illustrates,gives me some ideas,and edits my spelling and grammer.So it's a joint project.I'll have to see if she's read this yet and see if she thinks this deserves a title yet.'Cause this is only about Atin.We've got other main OCs.Like Raye,Christar,Gear and Jag.Plus all the Mando and Chiss warriors we haven't given names.I'm glad you like it.You don't know how much I needed that.I was afraid that people would take one look at it,see that it was written by a newbie,and like,totally ignore it.Look forward to the next installment!

Re: Fan-Fic

Oh my, sounds like a load of hard efforts to put all of your ideas into anything concrete! I wish you will someday get a brand new computer, you really deserve it!....

I really can't help but wonder about the rest of your story, being myself trying to imagine new illustrations for Mando'ade... I have lots of ideas, things I'd like to share and others I just want to let them mature in my head for the moment.

I'd love to help you with your projects, but I'm afraid my insights would only cause chaos and complications at this point

Re: Fan-Fic

No,no.no.I told Kara about how good you draw and stuff.And I think that any extra help is always welcome-after all we're only in 8th graders.I'm gonna start the next instalment tonight and any insights would,again,be really helpful.:DPlus,I wanna know what you have to say,sensei(I figure you're older than me...)I'd probably still be clueless about what people enjoy reading and what sucks...

Oh,I've stared a new RPG thread about the Mandos.Post your thoughts about them there or you can contact me at atinvod@hotmail.com

Re: Fan-Fic

Cool! I noticed your thread, and brought my 2 cents there although there could be some more work done...

I'm 23 by the way, is it that old to you? And no, I don't enjoy reading what sucks and if I ever see anything like that, I would rather not comment instead, or try to tell whatever's wrong with the story...

Re: Fan-Fic

23?Are you kidding?No that's not old,my English teacher is like 23 and she's really cool.She listens to rock,knows what an Xbox is and is gonna do Bowling 4 Goodness Sakes(it's a charity event) with us 8th graders.So,no,23 is so not old.

I haven't had alot of time to write.I'm having to study for our finals,TCAP,and who knows what else.So,sorry that there isn't anything here.As soon as I get some free time I'll post what I've written so far.

And I'm sorry if I've confused some people.I'm 13.My keyboard's so messed up that the 2 and 3 switch places sometimes.:DIs that young to you?

Re: Fan-Fic

Installment 3: Everlast-Sing the blues,Cold but still here Then:Atin's about 13 The traniees and trainers were out on the were on the dewy field before the cock crowed to signal the dawn.It was the hour at night were you knew that the sun was going to rise but it was dark enough to convince that the night was never meant to end. "Romaka!A little higher next time!Ayene,don't let him through your defenses!,"yelled one of the instructors and he was acknowledged by a chorus of yessirs. The dark haired and skinned instructor walked the entire length of the field twice before he had to break up the first clan fight.Most men here were from the Racin clan but there was a few from the Ne'tra clan.And like in any setting were there was a blend of the clans there was always a few that were upstarts on each side. A girl,the only one,was forcing two men apart while enduring taunts and jeers from each side.She was,what the trainees would call,a solus droten.She was of mixed decent.Atin,the girl,had tan skin and dark brown,almost black hair;the tell-tale signs of a mixed person.The only part of her that nodded toward the Racin was her steely blue eyes and her height. The Racin were a tall,blonde haired,dark blue eyed people.The were best known for their marksmanship and tracking talents.While the Ne'tra were a short compact people with black hair and gray eyes.They rivaled the Racin in marksmanship,they outpasted them in their skill in stealth.While the Racin were modern individuals the Ne'tra stuck firmly with the old ways;paganism. "Di'kut!,"yelled the Racin."Mir'osik!,"returned the Ne'tra."Both of ya',shut it.This isn't needed on top of the oncoming trials,"reasoned the ad'ike.(Atin) Devon hung back;he wanted to see what the girl could do in terms of leadership.She had proven herself in gunmanship and had shown flashes of leadership.He wanted to see if it could grow from just flashes. "And what do you know about clans,solus?,"retorted the Racin.The woman's eyes flashed,"More than you do,Ayene.We need to forget each others differences while we're at war.That's how this whole thing started,anyway.Clan wars between the Racin and Ne'tra.We couldn't solve our differences through treaties so we went to war-leaving our weaker clansmen defenseless.That's how the dar'jetiise and Vongse executed the round up.They used the war as the iniciator for their plans.Thus,rendering us to either slaves or 'rebels',"Devon was surprised by this girls's comprehension of the war.Even now,few political leaders understood the causes of the war,"Do you understand that,Ayene?Our clans caused this whole frickin' war.It's our fault!"

Now:Liea Organa Solo's office

"Ma'am,the Mado'ad officaly offer our assistance in this war,"she said as she put the now rendered useless holovid chip into her leather ammobelt.With deliberate slowness she reached into the duffel pack slung over her shoulder and pulled out a rolled animal skin.She spread it out infront of the senator and was not surprised by the confused look on Organa Solo's face. To the untrained eye it seemed to be a simple,if not primative,handrawn map on animal skin but Atin knew better.The markings on the map were slowly but surely moving.She began to explain the map to the senator,"Ma'am,the red X's are the clans that have allied themselves with the dar'jetiise and the Vong.And these here,the sky blue,are the slaves-that's where we need your help,I'll explain shortly.The camo green X's are our forces.It's obvious that we're outnubered but we do outnumber your forces..."before she could continue,Organa Solo cut her short. "I'm sorry,Mandalorian,but this has left my control.This is something you should take this before our military,"the senator said calmly. "No.My leader trusts you and you alone.If you need to bring those in the military that you trust then we will...trust your decision.But...I will need to get a message to my squad and Mandalore of this.And that,Senator,will take some time,"Atin rolled the map back up and put it back into her duffel,"Time that is precious to my people.The more of it we spend the more of us that become slaves." The senator nodded icily,"Yes,I understand.Can we reschedule?Let's say two weeks from now.That will give both of us time to prepare,agreeded?" Atin nodded silently,"Senator."A sudden realization dawned upon Organa Solo,the warrior had thought that the agreement would only take a matter of hours,not weeks.She had not planned on staying for an extended period of time,"Mandalorian,you have no place to stay do you?" "No,ma'am.I didn't count on this being out of your hands." "Mandalorian,if you wish and since I have no way to contact you...would you stay at my quaters?I realize that this will be odd since my husband is Corellian and you are a Mandalorian but I will probably need you to come before the military with me to present your proposal." The Mandalorian nodded slightly,it was the slightest of movements,"I would be honored,ma'am. The senator smiled,"Would you stop that.I was never in the military and I have a daughter.I don't need another woman calling me ma'am.I'm Liea,okay?" "Yes ma..Leia,"she said with a nod,"You can call me Vod for now."

I didn't mean to offend anyone with the then part.I'm just,according to my friends,very observitive and blunt.If there is any part that offends you I will edit it.I just that i would use that as one of the reasons for a clan war.And one of my friends said that it wasn't offensive but,different people have different veiws on things.Just let me know,I know I won't get all defensive over my work-I need to know what you think.TTYL. i think that this getting to dramtic so the next part is gonna be funny from a sarchastic point of veiw.Just imaine a debate between Han Solo and Vod...

Re: Fan-Fic

Okay,I lied i'm sorry this and the last post sucks so much...it's getting somewhere though...

Atin sat on the right corner edge of the twin bed only half listening to the arguement between Han and Leia about her presence.Her duffel pack was at her feet,the velcro straps had come apart and Atin could see a glimpse of her unmisktakenable armour. The warm glow above her cast erie sharp shawdows on her ghastly armour.Although she could only see parts of it, she could see her camo green brown armour in her mind's eye. It may have not been Atin's perfered color but she did have to admit that the mossy brown was practical for scout-sniper.She had only a few marking on her armour besides the battle scars and usage.On her shoulders she had the black tribal markings of a jai'galaar's wings and sharp eyes,just above her t-visor she had a downsized mythosuar skull and where her knee length boots meet her left ankles she usually tried a string of engraved teal beads. Atin forced a shiver to jerk herself out of the daze she had entered.It wouldn't do to get distracted from the objective;not when the were so close. Reaching for her duffel she dug out a compact comlink;slipping it into her ear she listened for her next list of instructions. * * * Han Solo ran a hand through his scruffy graying brown hair,"Leia,she's a Mandalorian.Fett was a Mandalorian.Put two and two together,hon."Leia poked her husband square in the chest,"And as I recall,Han,you are a Corellian.Not exactly the best example of Core worlders."Han arched an eyebrow,"Oh?At least we Corellians haven't been hiding for the last milliena and then only coming out to ask for help,"he pointed out;not entirely looking at Leia. Leia looked over her shoulder to see Vod.The warrior wore a simple loose faded blue tunic,a pair of tan breeches,over her shoulder and head she wore a undecorated sea glass green chadr(shawl thing Islamic woman wear to cover their hair and face-only thing visable are their eyes)and a pair of military issue gloves.The Mandalorian towered over Han even without the boots she now did not wear.She had stopped Leia outside the flat's door to just remove her weather and usage worn black combat boots. "Han Solo,I'd advise you not to judge a person by their heriatage.If I had done the same like you have,you'd have been long dead,"Vod said matter-of-factly.Organa Solo's husband nodded,"If I hadn't gotten to you first,"he pointed out bluntly.If Leia had been able to see Vod's face,she would've sworn that she smirked a little,"I highly doubt that,sir." Han looked at Leia breifly and the turned back to Vod,"Where is your amour,Mandalorian?I was under the influnce that your peole never removed it under any circumstances;even to sleep.So why do you not wear now?" Vod looked at Han like he was the stupidest sentient being in the entire galaxy and simply retorted,"When in the Core,do as the Core worlders,"Vod's eyes never left Han's the entire conversation. Leia looked at both her husband and the Mandalorian.Neither flinched at the other's cold stare.Her husband's hazel eyes burned with a cold fire and Vod's steely blue eyes returned the favor with a cold,hard and unemotional stare.Leia had only seen those kinds of eyes with her friends who had made the military their profession. Han's smuggler tone lined his next words,"So,how many innocents have you killed with that?"he asked pointing to a wicked looking knife strapped to Vod's outer right shin and added,"in the Core we don't display our weapons so openly." Vod removed the the knife/dagger from it's sheath.She made it dance between her fingers like she had done with the holochip and the made quiver on her outstreched index finger before handing it to Han handle towards him.There were intracate light blue swirls running along the edges to end in a blured swirl at the hilt.The metal itself was a midnight black overcoat on a layer of silver.It would have been just an oranamental(sp?)knife had it not been for the slightly darker edges to the point and sides of the knife-indicating that it had seen many years of service. "It's called a shuriken.And I've never killed an innocent with it.In my line of service you're either too close or too far away for you to have room for error.It's too useless to kill an "innocent" anway;waste of ammo and waste of prescious man power.And to hide your signs that you are armed than that is pure cowardience(sp?)." Leia took the knife back from Han and said,"Children,do I need to get a ruler?I thought not,"she added when she saw the spite in both of the sentients eyes,"Now,I think C-3PO has finished dinner,"she said quickly when she realized that the two were going to finish their argument.And the way out of that was to take advantage of the Mandalorians' tration of never refusing food. Vod's eyes smoldered silently when she realized what Organa Solo was doing.And she emensely hated her unbridled mouth as it responed with the phrase that had been drilled into her by her adoptive mother,Sakura,who had tried her hardest to teach her the manners that ruled the clans."I'd be honered to take part in the reaps of your harvest,"she said without the normal enthusiasim. Growing true crops were hard to grow and even harder to come by on her desert/jungle homeworld.Sure,there was game to be found in the deserts and jungles and even the occasional sweet fruit in the orchards that grew in the mountains due to rain-shadow effect.But nothing compared to sitting around a blazing fire with your mates,a couple of plump fowl,normally either quail or wild geese,over a spit,a thick stew of homegrown vegatables,usually corn or greenbean,boiling in a handmade clay pot and maybe a small ceremonial pint of shared ne'tra going around if there had been a victory. Vod followed Organa Solo and her husband into the open dining room.It was a little too formal for what Vod had grown up around and the same had probably gone for Han when he had first seen the room. The straight-backed chairs were upholstered in a deep scarlet and embrodered with sky blue thread,the legs ended in lion paws and the unholstered parts of the chair was a dark stained and often polished wroshyr wood.The wooden table matched the the dark stain of the chairs,a three pronged candle holder sat at the middle of the table and a small crystal chandalier hung from the ceiling. Vod watched Han pull out a chair for Leia as she placed herself into the chair.She caught Leia's warm gaze and she felt the corners try to pull up into a smile that she had never shared with anyone but Sabati and the rest of her squad. "Mistress,tonight on the menu we have roasted duck in a rich orange sauce or country fried nerf steak.Which do you perfer?"asked a gold plated droid,that Vod assumed was C-3PO.She was reminded of her own droid,Jai'galaar,Jai for short.Jai was an R2 astromech droid that her vod had programed and built for her after she had passed her trials.She,the droid,was every bit of Sabati as she was her father's daughter. She shook off the sudden and unexpected wave of homesickness that had come over her.It wasn't rare for a warrior to be homesick on their first mission away from their clan and squad.But she musn't allow it to cloud her judgement-that would be a weakness worth being killed for. "I would perfer the nerf,please,"she comented softly as the droid passed her.And Vod got the feeling like someone was watching her intently. "Leia,Han,"greeted a male's late teenage voice from behind her,"and guest,"he quickly added when he saw the woman also at the table.The voice he had learned to listen to that often warned him of danger was screaming at him when he gazed again at the woman. "Hello,Jag,"came Leia's crystal voice,"Where's the rest of Seraphim?" The man grabbed a seat,giving Vod a good look at him.He looked just as uncomfortable as she did in the pompus and small chairs.His dark hair was shaved into the 'high-and-tight' style often adopted by the pilots of the Empire,there was only half a day's dark growth on his face,his skin was a deep tan like her's,and his violet eyes were shining with a laughter that she hadn't seen since her breif time spent with Sakura. Reaching for one of the crematic plates C-3PO had set out and put a good helping of the country fried nerf and greenbeans,"They'll be here shortly;I promise,"he added looking at Vod.She said nothing in return-this would sudden appearence would call for immedite bending of the layed plans. Vod stood up and excused herself.Heading for the bathroom she slipped in the compact comlink her ear and rushed a quick message into it,"Mandalore Devon,Leia has a managed to find a fighter pilot with a standing that will listen to us.You need to come to Organa Solo's flat ASAP.No matter the complications." She had to wait for a smoky voice to reply,"We'll be there in three minutes."

Re: Fan-Fic

Nice addition of details you brought to Atin's background and culture... Especially for the clothing and armor, I thought that was a nice touch! It's cool if we can compare them to what we know...

And it's true, you do have a "blunt" style and that seems to fit your character's personality as well But it's all cool, the events and history that you describe are part of your universe for the fan fic. So it has to be respected if we like, agree with it or not.

Oh, and you asked about "cowardice"... that's how it's supposed to be spelled I think.

Re: Fan-Fic

Daenna,you have no idea what that means to me.I've been going through some rough times at school and this has become an outlet.So this is the best compliment I have ever gotten for my work and the fact that you come back to read it will make my days for months;no matter what happens at school.

If I knew how to respond to your compliment it would be better than this so I'll just say "Thank you."

I posted some of Kara's chibi pics.Now if I can convience her to ost her more serrious work...TTYL.

Re: Fan-Fic

I'm happy that makes you happy

Anything that stimulates your imagination and drives your energy positively isn't something to be ashamed of or to hide from others. It's the meaning of life, really: to become something more than ourselves through skill and talent.

Re: Fan-Fic

Fortune cookie or wisdom?(joking)=D

Hey if i give you more info on Atin would you draw her?It's not a request...just if you got some free time I would greatly appreachiate(that is spelled wrong on my behalf!) itThank you again for the compliments...I'll write some more after TCAP...TTYL

Re: Fan-Fic

Installment 5:Nickel Back-Saving Me It's 3:20 in the afternoon,4/15/06,and I'm eating peanutbutter crakers and a tall glass of ice water sits infront of me.I wonder what it will turn out to be

The small child run ahead of the aging woman.Too carefree and too wild to notice how much distance that she had placed between the women,men,and children that traveled with them.They were nomads traveling to a new grazing ground for their herd of camels and the harvest grounds of their clan.During the winter the clan split into smaller groups so as not to over hunt one area when game had grown scarce but during the spring,summer and fall the clan stuck together. "Adrian!Slow down,"called the middle aged woman.The woman's honey blonde hair was streaked with silver and was pulled into a harsh bun of the desert people.She wore a white sari-the color of mourning and heavy silver anklets that jingled and clancked to the rythm of her step.Her skin was the color of her tanned sandles,the dark polished color of the desert people. The child heard her adoptive mother call and hurried over to Sakura,"Uma,how much farther?I want to get there soon,"she said quickly trying to recapture her breath. Sakura,or Uma,laughed.It was a cheerful laugh,not the forced ones that Atin,or Adrian, had grown acoustomed to,"We'll get there when we get there,child.Not any sooner.Though we should meet up with Devon's clan near Saline's first phase tonight."Sakura knew why Atin was anxious to get there.Her only friend,Sabati,had gone with Devon to their winter grounds.The two eight year olds were inseperatable.Every where Sabati went Atin was there and vice versa. Jahji,Atin's adoptive uncle,punched the child lightly on the shoulder and teased with a deep chuckle,"Atin and Sabati sitting in a ..." Jahji never got to finish the old ryhme because Atin had popped him in the mouth lightly but with enough force to get him to shut up.Atin put her hands on her hips,"I'll have you know that I only like Sabati as a friend and that Sabati likes..."her hands jumped to her mouth as she realized that she had said too much and fell silent."Sabati likes?" teased Jahji.Atin glared at him but didn't say anything. "Ah,Jahji,leave the girl alone!"called his wife,"Don't ask me why I married him,girls.I love the oaf but sometimes..."she didn't have to finish because the other women began to laugh with her."But you said it yourself,ya love me,"Jahji said kissing his wife on the top of her head. Atin looked up at her adoptive mother and smiled," Aliit iru'shya tal'din.Family is more than bloodlnes."Sakura nodded,"You may not be of the clan by bloodlines but you are in spirit,"she said looking at the setting sun.Now: Vod reached for the door of the dining room and caught a glimpse of herself in a hanging miror.She had changed quickly into her armour and was astonished by the change in herself.She no longer looked like the poor desert peasant she had grown up as but instead she looked like a warrior of either Devon's or Spinx's army.Vod had decided to wear her cape-it was a beautiful silvery blue color of her clan,Ne'tra, and had their symbol running down the left edge.It was a simple star and flame design-the eight pinted star was encased in a swirl of flame.She had put her saber haning from her waist,her dagger was still strapped to her shin,she had slung her rifle over her shoulder,strapped her grenade pouch also at her waist and had tied her gauntlets on tightly.The only thing comical about her appearence was that she had no shoes on.Her feet were bare execpt for the entricate tribal tattoos she had recieved from the village shaman just after her birth and her heavy silver anklet cuffs. Sighing she pushed open the door and braced herself for the worst.Instead the three people were laughing like nothing had happened.She took a seat and realized the the laughter had subsided when she sat."My brothers will be here shortly-they'll be dressed as I am."The man named Jag nodded,"Seraphim,my squad of fighter pilots will be here shortly." As the words left their mouths the flat's doorbell rang and C-3PO shuttled into the room with a mixed group of Chiss and human fighter pilots,a few military officials,Mandalorian warriors and Jedi. Vod looked at her brothers with a mixed look of love and apprehension.Love could get you killed or endanger those you loved.She would know from experience. Lavar was the easiest to spot with his blood red armour.The top of his helmet was decorated with a white sunburst and that design was encorparated throughout his armour.on his knees,forearms,gloves,and grey cape.He had two belts crossing his chest and his rifle was aslo slung over his shoulder and his dagger was at his at his waist.Lavar was the tallest of the squad but Atin was a close second. Creed wore sea green armour that was covered in purle waves and the wellknown simple circle that lay in each crest of evry other wave-the decoration of the royal guard.The curving waves were on his legs,chest plates,and forearms.He wore his purple cape with sea green waves along with his jetpack.Instead of a ammopack he stored his ammo in a waterproof pouch and his pistols were slung low on his armoured thighs.Creed was the shortest of the squad but like with Spinx,he was a force to be reckoned with. Sabati wore ice blue armour that carried the silver eight pointed star and flame insignia of their clan.It was located on his ice blue cape,knee guards,the brim of his t-visor and his forearms.He had two sniper rifles that were tied across his back-one of which was Atin's.He was the middle man when it came to height and the leader of the four man squad. Each warrior bore the jai'galaar's eyes and wings on at least one shoulder and then either their clan's insignia or if they were like Atin and were of mixed decent they had their own personal emblem. Both of the Chiss were almost exactly alike to the untrained eye.They both wore the exact same gray coveralls,military issue boots,and both of them had had their heads shaved.But spending almost all her childhood and service she had to learn how to distingish(sp?)each man and woman by their voices and armour.Already she had labled each Chiss' rank in the Seraphim squad. The one on the far right-he was the musscle of the group with his burly stature and thick neck.He was the leader,when the man named Jag was not around,of the group no doubt;the others looked like they respected him and would follow him to their deathes. There was one sitting at the table,the other stood behind him,he was a beanpole compared to the leader.He wore rectangular glasses on the brim of his nose and was a paler blue than the other-there had to be some reason that the other was directly behind him. Directly at the scrawny Chiss's left shoulder stood a Corellian.He was shorter than Spinx which put him at maybe 5'7'' ,he was as nondescript as anyone cold be.His chesnut brown hair was pulled into a sloppy tail and his skin was as pale as a glow worm,his eyes were almost the hazel green that Sakura had.(the main color is green and is flecked with brown.My eyes are this color.) Sitting at Organa Solo's right was a Ghilsser.She was about the same size as the Corellian and was thinner than a toothpick.She had dark green hair that contrasted her pale green skin.Her eyes were the most peculiar colors-the left one was a warm blue and the other was a dark chocolate. And the last member of Seraphim was a very tall Shistaven.He was taller than Lavar and that made him the tallest anything she had ever seen,he was a plain blue color and had silvery blue fur matched by a long tail at the base of his skull that met two curved ram horns.On his ears he had multiple golden hoops that matched his liquid golden eyes that lay behind half-moon specticules.The thing that caught Vod's eyes were the black arrow tatoos over his body and face. Although all six of Seraphim's members were all eyes and ears for the Mandalorians,the Mandalorians were focusing their attention on the Jedi.None of them knew weither to drop to a knee or to shoot them.Jetii and Dar'jetii-jedi and sith-had no distinictions on their home;both were enslavers and were to be respected.Lavar turned to Vod and said on the group's private comlink,"Dare you to walk over to him and say hi."Atin looked from the sandy and dark haired jedi and then back to Lavar,"Leia's Noghri were easy,these Jedi will stand no chance if they anger me,"she said with a bravado that she did not feel.Jedi and their cousins were not to be trusted.For all their proposed justice they did not live up it-they and dar'jetii were killers and enslavers without provication. Then: Sakura took Atin's plate back from her,trying her hardest to keep the smile that was blooming on her face a sercert.Atin looked up at her with a quizical look on her young face,Sakura's eye flickered for the breifest moment away from her and Atin looked over her shoulder to see the beginings of Devon's band at the crest of the dune behind them. "Sabati!"she yelled through a mouth full of churros.She washed down the churros with a swing of water and ran toward her friend.Who was waiting for her halfway across the spread of coarse sand. Her friend was taller than she was but she was sure that she would eventually get at least an inch on him sooner or later.He wore a faded blue tunic and a pair of animal skin breeches almost identical to her own,his dark brown hair was swept up into a tail like her own,the difference between the two friends was their skin color.Atin was mixed and Sabati was the polished sandal color like Sakura. "So,"she began,"where's Lilia?" "Atin!"Sabati cried and began chasing her across the sand torward Jahji's band. Devon listened to his son's laughter as he chased his best friend.His heart broke for Sabati when the time came for Atin to be given either to a man as a wife or if she decided to train for Devon's army.Either way Sabati would be seperated from his friend. He felt Sakura's presence creep up on him and asked,"How are you,Sakura?" She shrugged,"I'm better.Atin takes up most of my attention during the day and then I sleep at night.I don't really think about my husband anymore,"she explained."That's good," he said wrapping an arm around his first love.She looked into his gray eyes,"You worry about Sabati or Atin?" "Both...I want my son to be happy.He never smiles anymore since he lost his mother-I don't think the shock of finding her while he was at the river with Atin fishing ever left him.And now,when he sees Atin he laughs and smiles,"he said tiredly.Sakura looked up at him,"And Atin?"asked Sakura."She's either going to be married off to a Racin because of who her mother and father are or she's gonna go off and train for my army because of her attitude.Either way Sabati will be heartbroken-he's already told me that he won't fight..." Sakura looked at her adopted daughter and her best friend.both were playing a game of tag with the other children but both seemed to be the only ones playing,"Your son will follow Atin into servitude,I've seen it...as for them marrying...I highly doubt it," Devon turned away from her and whispered,"We had a fight this winter over Lilia...and now he won't speak to me.I accused him of using her as wall so no one would say that he ever loved the daughter of Him and he looked me square in the eyes and denied it and now you've seen that he won't marry Atin..."He felt a hand on his shoulder,"He'll forgive you,you're all he has left.Say hi to him tonight for me." * * * "Atin,"panted Sabati,"I wanna ask you something,'he said plopping himself onto the sandy ground."Shoot,"she said sitting next to him close to the fire."Did Sakura have any visions concerning me?" Handing him the pottery plate that was meant for him she said,"Nope.She saw Jehji and Firsh having a daughter and son in the coming years,Devon fighting Spinx over some marriage arrangement and me getting my first rifle for Rist Alt.but,no,nothing about you this winter,sorry." Sabati shrugged,"Its okay." Nugding him softly him in his ribs she asked,"So what about you and Lilia?Anything I should know about?" "Nah,nothing.Verd swear." "Atin,it's time to go to sleep,"called Sakura.Atin turned to Sabati and said goodnight and followed Sakura into their tent. * * * Atin awoke to the sounds of men arguing.Three of them were Devon,Jehji,and Spinx,two were city accented voices she didn't recoginize."Sa..."Atin began and was stopped by a child's hand."She's out there with them,"began Sabati,"we've gotta hide.The two city voices are either jetiise or dar'jetiise-I cant tell."The hand loosened and Atin peeked out of the tent. Sakura,Spinx,Devon,Jehji and the other adults were sitting around a small fire while two Force users were talking to them in a nasal tongue that was not Mand'a.She could only pick out a few words and those were names.Lavar,Creed,Li,Aylien and both her's and Sabati's names were mentioned. Sabati grabbed her,pulled her back into the tent and hissed,"What do you think you're doing?Those two either want us dead or,worse,to become on of them.Neither of us know a Lavar,Creed,Li,or a Aylien.We need to get away." Atin nodded,"Firsh tied the camels near our tent.Follow me,"and with that Atin slipped out of the tent's back flap. Out of the corner of her eye Sakura saw Atin and Sabati leave the safety of the tent.May the gods be with both of you,she prayed.And she turned back to the jetii and awaited her fate.She could do nothing for herself now,she had to trust in Arasuum and Kad Ha'rangir now that both Sabati and Atin were safe from the slavers. * * * "Ushushshsh,"she whispered to the dolice female.Slowly the old camel rose to it's feet surprised by the small weight she had to carry.Wrapping her hands twice around the reins Atin trotted the camel quietly out of the camp.Sabati was tense against her back,"I was born on a camel Jahji says that all the time.I've driven camels since I was only three-I know what I'm doing,"she whispered in time with the camel's padh-padh-padh-padh rythym. When the had gotten over the first crest away from the camp she heard the first screams.Atin didn't wait for the camel to stop to jump off.She tumbled for a few paces and ran to the crest until Sabati knocked her down,"Atin!,"he hissed,"Are you trying to get us killed?" "Sakura is down there,"she struggled. Sabati pushed himself off Atin and handed her his rifle,"Look,they're dieing so we can get away...so we can get to Orihji and train for warriorhood." Looking through the scope she saw the tents burning as the smell of burning hair and skin reached her nose and she barely held her lurching stomach.The elderly and sickly were placed into the burning tents as the Force users' friends came to help against the fighting men and women but in the end it amounted to nothing-the warriors stood almost no chance against Force weilders.The slain were saved from a fate worse then death.The wounded,childern,and those who could not defend themselves were shoved into cages that were loaded onto wagons.It all added up to one thing-slavery.

Atin turned back to the camel and wept only one tear.Only one for her people-one that sealed her vow to have revenge.Turning to Sabati she tore of her medallion of Arasuum and Kad Ha'rangir and threw it at him.he caught it and handed it back to her,"Keep it,"he said folding it into her hand,"Sakura gave it to you.When the time comes for you to get your suit of armour melt it down and mix it with the metal you use for the piece of breastplate that will cover your heart." She nooded,"Promise you'll do the same."Sabati nodded,"I promise Adrian Fett or AtinVod."

Re: Fan-Fic

just something to tide you over until I get some idea of what to write next...kinda of been working on this....I've gotten fustrated with this so I started working on something else.Like this emo fic for example

Safe and Sound by Sheryl Crow

Maybe this is forever/Forever fades away/Like a rocket ascending into space/Could you not be sad/Could you not break down/After all I won't let go/Until you're safe and sound/Until you're safe and sound/There's beauty in release/There's no one else to please/But you and me/I don't blame you for quitting/I know you really tried/If only you could hang in through the night/I don't want to be lonely/I don't want to be scared/All of our friends are waiting there/Chorus/Feel like I could've held on/Feel like I could've let go/Feel like I could've helped you/Feel like I could've changed you/Feel like I could've held you/Feel like I could've hurt you/Feel like a stranger/Feel like I was an angel/Feel like I was a hero/Feel like a zero/Feel like I could've changed you/Feel like I could've healded you/Feel like I should've heard you/Feel like I could've moved you/Feel like I could've changed you/Feel like I could've healded you/Feel like I should've told you/Feel like I could've loved you/Feel like I could've loved you/Feel like I really loved you/Feel like I really loved you/Feel like I really loved you/Feel like I really loved you/Feel like I really loved you/Feel like I could've saved you/Feel like I could've saved you/Feel like I could've saved you...

Jag sat on the head of the bed with Atin's almost lifeless head in his lap.Her blood had soaked through his pant legs a long time ago and he had to fight to keep his tears from mixing with her's.He learned from her that you didn't have to be awake to cry. The nurses had tried to pry him from Atin but he had refused to give up her limp hand.He had watched numbly as the surgeons had worked to keep the Mandalorian alive and fighting,as they dressed her sickly looking blaster wound on her head that had burnt her flesh,as they reset her dislocated legs,and as they fought against the shrapnel lodged in her stomach.He hadn't gotten sick,not once,but he couldn't keep his tears from coming as the doctors brought in Christar,Raye,Gear,Fali,Sabati,Creed,and Lavar in to tell them that Atin wasn't going to make it through the night.She had a 1 in 100 chance in living and that they better say their goodbyes. The doctors had moved her from the ER to a ward that every few minutes a nurse would come in and check on Atin's life readings and shake their pitifully as their hardened eyes fell on Jag just sitting there,holding the dieing woman in his arms. Atin's brothers were sitting in the room playing some sort of card game that involved bones with etchings on them.This was harder on them than it probably for him.They were just venting their desperation into a card game while he was sitting here helpless with the woman he loved dieing in his arms. "Ha!Atin come look at this!I finally got up on Sabati!"shouted Lavar joyfully.Sabati wholloped him over the head with a closed fist,"You,dikutla!Atin's as good as dead!She can't hear you!"Lavar looked at the angered man and truthfully said,"I forgot,Sabati,I forgot,"he said looking at Jag. Jag was watching the heart moniter...it had begun to flatline.His eyes widened but he couldn't move.Some how his voice still worked,"Nurse,"he cryed at the top of his lungs,"Help!Help!"A nurse and a few doctors rushed into the room and Atin's brothers had to pry him away from her with pure muscle.He fought them every step of the way until Creed said bluntly,"We're useless here,Jag,we'll just get in the way and that will increase the odds agaisnt her."Jag slackened his struggles and let the Mandalorians drag him away from the dieing warrior and into the hallway. Jag picked up his numb body from the floor from where it had crumpled to once Atin's brothers had eased their grip from him.His emotionless eyes scanned the white washed hallways,he keep them low,the harsh lights hurt his eyes.So all he could see was the shoed feet of the doctors,nurses,military personal,and the whatnot.By some miracle he had managed to find himself in the doorway of the waiting room where Seraphim was. Raye was curled up in Christar's arms on the floor-they had given their seats up to a new pair of grandparents.Gear had slightly nodded off,he was awake but he had a distant look in his eyes.Fali was the only one fully awake but she also seemed out of it.She had picked up a ball point pen and was tapping it rythmaticaly but she dropped it as Jag stumbled into the room. Gear nudged Raye with his foot and she jerked awake,her head jarring Christar in the jaw;causing him to be awakened from his own daze. Fali asked the question that was on everyone's minds,"Jag...is Atin,"she gulped visably,"Is she gone?"Jag collapsed into the chair,not caring who saw the tears streaming down his unshaven cheeks and shook his head,"I don't know...she flatlined...and then her brothers basicialy stole me from the room...and...I came here not knowing what to do..."he said staring at the ceiling. He felt Raye's slender hand on his right arm,"Come on.We'll come with,"her mismatched eyes staring directly into his violet ones.He looked at his friends,Seraphim...The Firey Angels...it was a perfect name for his ragtag team of pilots and one scroundrel.Atin was the scroundrel but he knew she wouldn't want to have it any other way.She was a descendent of the original Seraphim...if she had to go,then she would go with her team at her deathbed. He stood only to be knocked flat by a purple blur.The thing had gauntlets and he had nothing to protect his head as the neck breaking blows contacted with him all over.The thing was yelling at him coarsely,"You bastard!You damn bastard!" Jag lay there on the floor;not bothering to defend himself.Whatever Creed had thought he had done to do harm to Atin,he was probably guilty.Abruptly the blows stopped just as fast as they had come.Jag propped himself up on his forearms and peered disbelievingly at the man that was now on the balls of his feet,rocking back and forth.Jag could see the tears threating to well in the man's blue eyes. He was repeating over and over again how sorry he was.Jag pinched his nose to stop the bleeding and just sat there looking at the shell of a man.That thing infront of him wasn't the Creed that Jag had come to know.Creed was just as unmovable as Atin was when it came to expressing what he was feeling,he was as strudy under fire as Atin...he was a male version of Atin...all of her brothers were.But something told Jag that there was something that had happened between Atin and Creed that had caused him to be the fatherly figure Atin had painted him out to be.He would find a more approprite time to persue that intrest.For now,he just wanted to find out why Creed had attacked him. "Why'd did ya hit me?"he asked through a bloody nose.Creed looked imploringly at Jag and said in nothing more than a whisper,"I don't know."Christar knocked the unwary Mandalorian down on his stomach by his broad shoulders and held his head to the tiled floor,"You attack my best friend and you don't know the reason?What kind of bullshit is that?"The Mandalorian smirked slightly,"My bullshit,Corellian." Raye put a reasuring(sp?) hand on Christar's shoulder,"Let him go,Christar.We're all under a lot of stress...fighting amongst ourselves won't help Atin,"the Glisher said in the soothing way that gave her the postion of peace maker in the squad.Christar stood and his shoulders sagged noticably,letting Creed get to his feet. "Damn it,Christar,"Creed started rubbing his neck,"You could give a gundark a run for it's credits."Christar smirked,helping Jag up,"It was the least I could I do,Creed,after all I could I ever thank you?" "By getting me some coffee,"Creed said matter-of-factly. Seraphim couldn't help but laugh out loud despite the circumstances.But once they realized what part of sentient nature caused laughter;they stopped suddenly.It was the reflex that let go of stress and signaled that passing of danger when,in this situation,it had not.They were laughing when one of their own was hanging to life by a thread;her fate undecided.

Re: Fan-Fic

Thank you. Someone besides Daenna read my work, thank you. I don't think they're good. Just something I've been working on since 7th grade. Kara puts her input and...let's just say I am the kohai and she is the sempai.

Re: Fan-Fic

Thanks for the understanding, TW. In 7th it was just dumb stuff, my writing didn't get serious until this year, 8th grade, when I met Kara. She inspired me to start being serious and finishing my work. Hanging around an artist like her will do that to you. After the summer break we'll both be in 9th grade. Freshmen *shudders*.

Re: Fan-Fic

Wow! You sound just like me! I'm goin into the 9th grade next year as well! I might have to go to summerschool though, the 8th grade finals were pretty hard for me. And the Freshmen part, pfff! Tell me about it! I'm really nervous about it.