If You Have Nothing Nice to Say . . .

There are many adjectives that can be used to describe me, but ‘quiet’ is not one of them. In college, one of my friends nicknamed me “the mouth of the south”, and it is a nickname that is fitting still. That said, the kindest thing that I did for someone else today was to remain silent in a particular situation that pushes my buttons and that makes holding my tongue increasingly difficult.

One year ago today, the life of someone who means the world to me was altered by the volatile behavior of another person, and for the past year, that person’s hurtful words and actions continue to leave their mark. As if almost a perverse way to mark the anniversary of the alluded to event, this person unleashed another round of lies and false accusations that caused more pain. It is difficult to stomach, especially since there is nothing I can do to resolve the situation. I can only offer ongoing support to my special friend in the form of offering words of comfort, sharing advice, and listening, and it never feels like enough. Today, I just wanted to lash out this abusive person to protect and defend my friend, but I knew that by doing so, it would make the situation worse. Instead, I kept my words to myself, prayed for a peaceful resolution to the situation, and remained supportive of my friend. Words can hurt or heal, and sometimes, saying nothing truly is the kindest action to take.

I also practiced silence for myself in the form of prayer and meditation. This morning, instead of immediately hopping out of bed when my alarm sounded, I lingered in bed, enveloped in darkness and silence. At times, silence can be deafening and very uncomfortable for me, and I will hurry to fill it with music or the drone of the television in the background. This morning, though, I allowed myself to be still and to offer silent prayers for myself and others, and then, I just allowed my mind to go blank for the few moments that I was able to keep my intruding thoughts at bay. When I finally emerged from under the covers, I felt calm, cool, and collected, and it set the tone for getting through a busy day. Silence truly is golden.

3 replies

Ohhh heavens do I understand this one! Only my person is within the family. Such a challenge to not say anything when you watch the pain and destruction! But I have learned reacting in any way makes the situation worse and not reacting makes it worse as well since they create more drama to try and get attention. There is no winning with these type of people, all we can do is feel sorry for them and pray they find happiness within themselves so they will stop hurting others! ❤

You are spot on and very wise! It reminds me of that quote, “It’s better to be kind than right”. In this case, I knew that if I spoke my mind, nothing positive or constructive would result. In fact, I knew that it would make the situation worse for everyone, so, I just let it go.