Let’s be honest. Everybody wants to be considered attractive – especially when you’re on the market and trying to find that special someone. On some level, every single person equates attractiveness with more options, better opportunities and, ultimately, greater dating success.

But what’s really at the heart of attractiveness? Is it objective or subjective? Is it just physical? Are there ways to enhance your attractiveness, or are you stuck with what you’ve got? Read on for our take on how to attract the right person into your life by focusing on becoming your most attractive self.

The Beauty Trap We know, we know. Our culture tends to equate attractiveness first and foremost with physical appearance. We are inundated with messages that being attractive means fitting into a cookie-cutter mold of physical beauty. These expectations are unrealistic, frustrating and demoralizing. They make us feel bad about ourselves and send others negative messages about ourselves, which is not attractive. It’s a vicious cycle. We know. That’s why this isn’t another article extolling the virtues of a new haircut or an updated wardrobe (even though we can appreciate a good makeover article as much as anyone). We want to start shifting the conversation and challenge you to look at your attractiveness quotient in a more holistic, more productive way.

In the end, yes, physical appearance is undeniably part of the total attractiveness equation. But it is not the entire picture. Your manner, your outlook, the way you engage people can be just as important as what you look like. Need proof? Think about that average-looking person you know who always seems to captivate members of the opposite sex with a sparkling, winning way. Or think about the physically stunning people you’ve met who turn hideously unattractive once you glimpse a negative disposition or unfriendly attitude.

This is an important truth, but what does loving yourself really mean? Well, remember that the word “love” is a verb. So just as your actions show your love for someone else, it’s important to actively do things to love yourself.

Make a List of Things you Like About Yourself

Sometimes we focus so much on what we’d like to change about ourselves that we actually forget there’s a lot to like as well. So take a few minutes and remind yourself of the positives you can be proud of. Think of physical attributes, mental or emotional strengths, successes you’ve experienced, the way you support your friends, or anything else. Make your list as long as possible, and then keep adding to it.

Ask Others to add to your List

Go to the people you trust—a friend, a romantic partner, a therapist, a family member—and ask them what they’d list as your most positive characteristics. You may be surprised to find out that people see a lot more of your strengths than you realize.

More than any other meal, breakfast is an investment in good health. Eating in the morning helps you stay focused and energized through busy days. Breakfast increases the likelihood of meeting recommended daily doses for essential vitamins and minerals that help prevent disease. And recent research makes the idea of a morning meal even more appetizing. A study in the Journal of the American Dietetic Association found that individuals who eat breakfast are less likely to be overweight — and more likely to exercise — than non-breakfast eaters.

If your breakfast includes protein, which is digested at a slower rate than carbohydrates, you’ll feel satisfied longer.

“Starting the day with a healthy meal may help keep your appetite in check, resulting in healthier food choices overall,” says Suzanne Phelan, Ph.D., assistant professor of psychiatry and human behavior at Brown Medical School and co-investigator for the National Weight Control Registry, which tracks the eating and exercise habits of “successful losers.” “Nutrients consumed at breakfast also may lead to a better ability to perform physical activity later in the day,” says Phelan.

Preparing a healthful breakfast is easier than you might think, no matter how busy your schedule. Just aim to incorporate the following five elements of better breakfasts into your morning meal.