November 30, 2004

The perfectionist definition of "good enough"

A while back I was working with a client who had a serious perfectionist streak. One session, as we were talking about the lack of satisfaction with anything this client did, I said, "Do you know what I think your definition of good enough is?"

"What?"

I walked up to the whiteboard and wrote:

(What I did) + 1 = Good enough

That got a laugh, and an admission that it was true. When perfectionism and overachievement runs into hyperoverdrive like that, good enough is literally an impossibility. One can always be added. There's always something that could have been done better, and that becomes the focus.

And if nothing is ever good enough, there can be no real self-praise. No celebration of one's own efforts and accomplishments. Which in turn means that the only motivation comes from a constant message of, "you're not good enough."

Wow. Can you see how that might get in the way of achieving all that you can?

If you find yourself falling prey to the perfectionist definition of good enough, try practicing a focus on the positive. Next time you do something, take a minute to celebrate what you've accomplished. Look for what's great about what you just did.

See if you can start developing a habit of stopping to inventory the positive. Learn to celebrate yourself, and start to build on the energy that gives you.

TrackBack

» The perfectionist definition of from Synesthesia
This one from Curt Rosengren seemed worth a mention - The perfectionist definition of "good enough" - it's a pattern I've seen in a few high-performing coaching clients too. [Read More]

Comments

Brilliant, Curt. As a reforming perfectionist, I still get enticed by that "+1" at times. But as you mentioned, it gets in the way of celebrating and honoring the specialness of what I bring to the world. Thanks for the good morning reminder. Cheers. CB

So true Curt! I am also a recovering perfectionist and struggle as a professor with teaching a lecture I have taught before. I always need to tweak, in part because I am motivated by being creative. The old Paretto principle applies as well - 80% of the work gets done in 20% of the time...in other words - I know that I can pull an 90 minute lecture together in about 7-8 hours...but just because I put in 16 hours for it does not make the lecture twice as good.

Jamin, interesting spin on the equation. I definitely see this one pop up from time to time with clients as well. "If I don't try my best, I can always say, 'I didn't give it my all' when it doesn't measure up."

A silly concept. we all know what we want to achieve, feeling negative is not a sign of someone who's goal is to be perfect, but their ability to tell when what they haven't done is not in line with what they believe they should be capable of.

this person should be encouraged to push harder next time, like we encourage children to try harder. NOT to tell them to screw off and change what they feel about their actions.

If artists thought this way, we'd never have good art, just a bunch of lines, that the artist said was "good enough".