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What it is:

Whether you're on the phone or talking to a visitor, your child will do anything to get you to focus on her.

Why it happens:

Let's face it — anything that competes for Mom's attention is trouble for a toddler. At this stage in her development, everything (and we mean everything) is about "me, me, me." Delayed gratification ("You mean I have to wait for what I want?") is a tough lesson for toddlers who have yet to master the art of patience.

What you need to know:

No matter how frustrating your little toddler-interruptus is, keep in mind that she doesn't know she's being rude. It'll take several years before she'll get the importance of respecting others, though you can begin laying the foundation for polite behavior now.

What to do about it:

Respect your toddler's time. Set a good example by not interrupting your time together for a task you can do or a call you can make later (when she's asleep or otherwise occupied).

Include her when you can. You might buy yourself a little extra time by inviting your toddler to participate in the phone call ("Do you want to say hello to Uncle Tim?"), though be sure she doesn't become a phone-hog (which might try your caller's patience). Or suggest she show a visitor her favorite book or latest drawing before she goes to play by herself for a while.

Don't anticipate the problem, but do express your appreciation. Saying, "Don't bother Mommy while she's on the phone," will only plant the idea more firmly in her head. Afterward, however, if your child lets you finish a conversation without interrupting, make sure she knows how happy you are ("Thanks for letting me talk to Aunt Jill. Now it's our turn to play dolls").

Provide a private line. Pull out a special play phone (or your old cell) reserved only for her so she can make her own calls while you do the same.

Stay in touch. Whether you're on the phone or chatting to a friend in person, provide your tot with some physical contact (an arm tickle or stroke of the cheek) to help her feel connected to you.

Hire her as a timekeeper. Help your child set an egg timer for five minutes or so. Tell her that when it goes "ding," it'll be time for you to give her your undivided attention. (Of course, this only works if you keep your promise.)

How to prevent it:

Until your child is able to tolerate being "put on hold" for longer periods of time (sorry, but around age two, the average toddler can wait only about a minute), you can avoid frustration (for both of you) by planning long or important phone calls when your child is asleep, and keeping in-person visits short.

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