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Saturday, September 11, 2010

Obviously after my last post I need to change my blog name to Shut Up and Dump. Of all the things I wrote about, everyone zeroed in on the crap factor. Yes, I know three is overdoing it. You’re just jealous. No, that is not the norm for me. It is feast or famine over here with the GI system. I can go days. Then I’ll have a three shitter experience. Don’t you ever do that? It keeps you guessing.

Andrew turned me onto the Bristol Stool Scale. It classifies poop into categories for medical purposes. Not sure why you’d want to do this. Maybe doctors yell from room to room, “Hey! I’ve got a Type 1 stool in exam room 29. You gotta see this!” I was a Type 5 the other day if anyone cares. There is even a picture chart for those of you who are especially visual (i.e., MEN). What type did you have today?

[For the record, my son thinks this blog should be called Shut Up and Son. Need much attention?]

Thanks to so many of you who opted to take on my invitation to write about a day in your life. I read each one. You can learn so much about a person depending on how he/she spends her/his time. Here’s who played along:

Laurie at the {Mis}adventures of a Jogging Stroller Mom: This fitness and family focused mom seems to have it all together. Between nursing her baby and taking her daughter to school, she plops the little guys in a jogging stroller and goes out for daily runs. How she runs six miles and pushes all that weight I’ll never know.

Adrienne at The Life of a Non-Race Runner: This mom of four is a total crack up. Her daily escapades included locking her son out of the house, fitting in a 10K treadmill run at the gym between getting the kids where the need to go, and praying a few times to get through it all. In the midst of it she sees the humor in the craziness of life.

Andrea at The Andrea Chronicles: Mom and full time sales director, Andrea manages to fit in daily runs, cooking healthy meals and watching Kate Gosslein make a lot of money for doing nothing. This chick crams so much into her day it makes me tired, yet entertained!

Pahla at The Adventures of An Average Athlete: I can’t get over how she starts her day at 3:53 a.m.! She puts in a few hours as a personal trainer, “which mostly involves listening to women bitch about how they can’t lose weight while they’re half-assing their way through a workout,” then makes it home in time to volunteer at her son’s’ school. Never a dull moment.

Melissa at My Running Journey for Better or Worse: This professional lady starts her day at 5:00 a.m. After putting in a full day at work, she hits the trails for a run. She then spends some down time with her boyfriend, Matt, and her two crazy dogs.

Ang at The Turtle’s Pace: After putting in a full day at work, this newlywed heads to the gym to bust it out on the treadmill. She arrives home happy to find her dog didn’t crap in his kennel.

Amber at Gym Class Dropout: Amber takes us through her day at the the Spirit of Columbus Half Marathon last weekend.

Jessica at Running and Raising Girls: She’s a mom of two young girls and still manages to fit in her running while watching Jersey Shore. She must be doing something right because her kids are actually eating quinoa for dinner!

Irene at Tales from the Back of the Pack: She’s an account rep living in Long Beach, CA who gets her runs in before work. Then she takes time to play some Barbies with her four year old before doing it all again the next day.

Last but not least was our friend Andrew from Running Man Wannabe who showed us all up with his fabulous and colorful charts and x-marks. This dude cracks me up with his pre-run ritual: wake, check training schedule, drink water, put on HR monitor, watch, put shoes on, stand on porch, go back inside take a micro-dump (half an O'Henry Bar and some Smarties). All that aside, he seems to be an amazing dad and father.

So…Ken and I were going to skydive tomorrow. Really, I agreed to it and I wasn’t even heavily sedated with wine or Ativan at the time. Problem is, and it’s not an excuse, these pesky gums of mine got peskier and became full blown infected. Suffice it to say the inside of my mouth looked like the Elephant Man’s face. Not pretty. If you’ve ever seen videos of people skydiving, one of you notice their mouths are always forced open by pressure and wind. Lips flapping in the breeze. I can only imagine how that would feel on my little gum issue.

So, perhaps we’ll go next weekend? For sure, in September. Or October. Or November. Then it’s Christmas. So January. Might as well wait until the Spring. Call me chicken shit. I don’t care.

Instead? 20 miles on tap for tomorrow. Trying to mentally gear up. Hoping I don’t have any Type 7’s.

21 comments:

hahahah. your blog never fails to make me laugh and smile! have a good 20 miles tomorrow and set a date already for that sky dive! i'm dying to know how it goes because i secretly want to do it myself (although i guess not so secretly anymore!)

I was at a restaurant last night that had the most technologically advanced TOILETS ever! And I thought about your post from the other day :)

Seriously, the toilet lid went up automatically upon entering the stall. The wall buttons controlled the HEATED toilet and seat and here were some of the options (I'm not lying): "rear cleansing, front cleansing, pressure, oscillating, pulsating, dryer". No clue what they all did - was too scared to try it.

I may have to post a pix I took of the wall button control system on my next post...

So funny: I didn't even realize what 'dump' was referring to in your previous post! I thought it was some new slang that hadn't made it to Illinois! Now I realize its old slang of a very old activity;) Hilarious!

I am curious - but a little hesitent to click on the link to see the scale and Pictures! But I will as soon . . . OK I just clicked on the link -yup - mine flucuate between 1 - 2 - 3. But usually not on the same day.

Hi!! I'm a new follower! I used to do sprint triathlons. That all came to an abrupt halt with infertility. We finally managed to get me fixed and successfully had two babies. Now, over six years later, I'm trying to get back in the game. I'm 35. Our girls are 2 and 4. My husband travels a bit so I spend time on the treadmill looking at the basement wall ;) I've decided to start this phase of my life with a half. The big day is Oct 3. You are such an inspiration. (and you look fabulous!! Im not sure I will ever be so fit - but i'll just keep chuggin' along)I love that my husband asks me to put the phone/iPad away at 1am because I'm in bed reading your blog and I'm trying to hold back my giggles and shaking the bed. Ha!! So funny!! I can't wait for your next post!