the pink petals from the cherry tree that float down every year all over my yard, across the rooftop from the back to the front and side of the house, onto the back porch and bins of recyclables. their pink color fades when it rains

soon, when the cherry tree bears its fruit, a flock of cedar waxwings will visit. They only stay a day or two. I will try to remember to let you know when they are here. Maybe when I get a new camera, which I am determined will be within the next couple of months (you may recall if you’ve been keeping up, that my camera has had a water stain smack-dab in the middle of the lens for over 2 years), I will be able to get a picture (the following is not my photo)

that I could look up on the web the weather in Shanghai, China and also find that the peach blossom celebration there ended on April 10, but that perhaps Paul and Violet will still see and smell the peach blossoms when they get there

the word frilly

things that are frilly

frittilaria even though they won’t grow around here

the search terms people use that land them at twinklysparkles. Today’s best and one of the best of all time: what is a semi brachiator

That’s all I can muster today, but if you can give a definition of semi-brachiator, without looking it up, I’ll give you bonus points. I do not know what the bonus points are for, but I will think of something in good, twinkly time, which is really the best kind of time

I thought of posting some photos that I found on google images when I searched for various word combos with frilly

a friend (about 20 years my junior!) at singing last night said I can do tricks with the giant, water-weighted hula hoop, claims I don’t need to get a smaller, lighter one. youtube instructional videos. okay, tomorrow I’ll be hauling my Mac onto the back porch with me and the hoop.

hoopla

circles

crop circles

Simon Beck’s snow art (yes, I looked up his name. he is not the only snow artist though, c’mon people)

2. losing one’s mental acuity is not inevitable with age, true or false? what about visual acuity?

3. what time is it?

4. how fast does the time go?

5. who knows where the time goes?

6. do you know that song reference? You better!

7. or else!

8. how physically active can one remain and into what year of one’s life? 78? 80? 84? 87? 93?

9. do you know the thing about old deer/young deer? The old deer won’t try new foods, but the young deer will. The old deer play it safe, but the young deer increase their possibilities for new food sources and, though they don’t know it, they increase their neural connections (as well as risk of eating poisonous plants). that’s how it was told to me, even if it is just a metaphor.

What celebrity transforms into a blond bombshell for her upcoming cover shoot and totes her new locks all over town?

What celebrity showed off her new blond hair by posing in sassy, thigh-high black leather boots and denim daisy dukes?

What celebrity debuted a new bold hair color on her Twitter account?

Have you figured it out yet?

The fashion chameleon, twinklysparkles, changes her look yet again and steps out as a blond bombshell*

*do not try this at home

In fact, I normally try this at home. I color my hair about once or twice a year and I am so conservative that no one ever even knows. I have to drop hints around the house until I finally cave and come out with it, “Look, I highlighted my hair, what do you think?” Until they say, sheepishly, “Oh, yeah, Mom, that looks great. What did you do? Is it blonder? Why don’t you really color it next time…”

So, being the brave and ever darker-haired soul that I am, I scheduled a REAL hair-coloring appointment with my hair person. An appointment for highlights, you know, subtle, somewhat blond strands that blend magically and nearly imperceptibly with my own natural color. The kind of change that might prompt a comment like, “Hey, is there something different about you twinkly? Are you over your anemia? You have such rosy cheeks today” OR “Is that a new scarf you’re wearing?”

Nothing one would call DRAMATIC or even, gasp, PLATINUM.

Now, you all know that I have not much gray hair. The anemia ordeal has certainly aged me a couple of years. I have new jowls and deep down-turning creases beside my mouth, all obtained in just a few short weeks. But I didn’t earn any new gray hairs.

The new, overly-blond “highlights” actually give me a glimpse of what I will look like once my entire head turns graywhite silver.

Move over Rhianna. I don’t know who the hell you are nor would I recognize your voice if I heard one of your songs on the radio, but this over-the-hill former toe-head is ready. Ready to take down peri-menopause. Ready to face the world with my face uncovered. Ready to go out without a hat.

Hey, whoever searched for “45 ddd breast” and got to my blog? I’m not fucking getting implants just because I have blond hair. Fuck you. And you know what? There is no size 45: bra sizes are in EVEN numbers fer chrissake. And it’s usually TWO BREASTS, not one.

You know what else? I’ve been the same bra size since high school. All right, until that unfortunate incident with my second pregnancy when my little bun-in-the-oven decided to kick my ribcage wider by a couple of inches. Yeah, you try carrying an 8+ pound weight in your uterus some time Mr. “45 ddd breast.”

Is it good or bad that I didn’t put my contact info in the little black notebook that I lost this week? You know, the one with my random musings, interesting web sites for future reference, notes on good music I heard on the radio, inspirations for writing, and, gasp, my privatemost poems….(can you tell that I don’t have an iPhone or Blackberry?)

Why do some women’s breasts get smaller after menopause and why do some get larger?

Why can you get the same pimple in the same exact pore over and over?

Why isn’t the local police blotter as interesting as it used to be? This has been going on for almost 8 months.

When someone tailgates me, which I consider not only aggressive but dangerous, why do I allow myself to get aggressive in return by slowing down even more?

Would you say this post is more testosterone or estrogen?

Can you gently slam on your brakes (or gently slam on anything else for that matter)?

Blue mascara: discuss.

Really, how many rodents can my cats kill in one day (and those are only the ones I see)?

Am I really missing out since I don’t know how to text?

Do you realize that there is a universe of posts 180 degrees in the opposite political direction from yours on Facebook? What if yours is the incorrect direction?

Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought Luddite? I can assure you that I haven’t.

Why do companies discontinue wildly popular products, like the pink marshmallow bunnyEnvirosax that I recently lost? I am crushed, I tell you, crushed. (If anyone out there has one, please forward to twinklysparkles!)

Do I really have to post a photo of a naked or bikini-clad woman at least every-other day to maintain my site stats? What about Justin Bieber (not naked)?