Male and female is a state of separation. It is our limitation. But there is also the state of unification. For example, when a couple is in true love. That state of unification is actually what Buddhism calls the true state of our nature. But you don’t have to have a partner to experience this state. Actually the experience people have when in true love is a realization that love is prevalent in everything they are dealing with the world.

So generally I would agree that sex is an important realm of experience. But it depends on whether you insist on it or not. If you insist that you have to have it, you will have gain and loss. It is probably true that for most people they insist on this, and practically speaking it might be easier for them if they can experience it. But we probably shouldn’t apply that to everyone.

This limitation is a manifestation of the absolute. For the absolute to have life, there is no other way.

People wonders what is love. Let me ask a kind of clique (but might still be helpful) question. Suppose you are going to leave the world tomorrow, what are you going to miss in this world? Maybe those things you will miss is your love?

This state of unification is also what we experience in sitting meditation. Generally It is easier to experience the absolute in the sitting meditation. That is why sitting still is very important. But after you stand up and engage in daily activities, there are a lot of forces acted upon you. These forces tend to separate things out. The stronger the force, the more difficult to keep connected. Desire is a kind of force that is acted upon us.

Being true male or female means to be in a state of apart but not separate.

I can talk more about this. But for now, I think this is enough. To help you dig deeper into this, let me ask you the following. Buddhism likes to talk about truth and illusion. So is male/female a truth or an illusion? Or how much is truth? How much is illusion?

Furthermore, male/female can be seen as one form of diversity. Male/female is a split out of the whole. Because of diversity, each of us is unique and is split out of the whole. So what we are saying above also applies to diversity. Thus our Self also embodies the limitation and absolute. And to understand the true self is also to understand the apart but not separate state.