Friday, April 23, 2010

My mother and i have definitely had our moments LOL! I mean what daughter and mother haven't. After my divorce my mother and i have formed the most meaningful relationship ever! Her and i's relationship really has blossomed the last year and a half. I am so blessed to have such an inspirational person who loves to share her past mistakes with me so i can learn from them. When i went to Laramie Wyoming to visit not only my mom but my 2 brothers as well it was the first time i had seen her in almost 3 years! It was like the PERFECT family trip! My mom is currently going through a Double Bypass heart surgery and i wont like I'm scared to death. I know she will come of this with flying colors but its a huge surgery. With that being said you can see why i am creating this blog. I am thinking how much i appreciate my momma and everything she has done for me. I love you momma!

Saturday, April 17, 2010

I want this post to
be a slight understanding of who "Tatiana" is and just who exactly "Knuckles" is! Lets start with the basics. Tatiana - 26 yrs old, trusting, honest, loving, caring, wears her heart on her sleeve most the time, close with her family, loyal to her family;friends;and loved ones. And much more.

Knuckles......Blue hair, Outgoing, funny, a bit of a tougher girl, everyone loves, a bit more crazy and all the above!

I like to have knuckles as my Alter-ego ...... When i go out im Knuckles when im home relaxing im Tatiana :) Knuckles give me the confidence to know i am not insecure. Having an alter ego is so helpful and so awesome!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Today was a new day.....a good day....I have definately learned thorugh what have recently went through this last week that life is precious...Below i have included some friends and family that i love and miss dearly:

I love EVERYONE in my life.....If i forgot a picture dont worry i will post on the next one!!!! Good Night Everyone....

Friday, April 9, 2010

I can't even describe how i am feeling since i found out that Ryan died....im hurt by the choice he made...im mad for the choice he made...and im lost and feeling guilt. I am sure you are asking why am i feeling this way....who is Ryan.....

That is Ryan....On April 5th he decided to leave this world. Ryan and i had a different kind of relationship. We were first friends then decided to take that step and be in a relationship. He was so funny and knew how to make you feel good about yourself. A huge memory that stands out...is him laying his head on my lap crying saying he wants to start up a new life in SoCal....what a little beach boy he was! Ryan and i just couldn't make it work and decided that we were better friends. He moved up to Colorado after he and i broke up and we kept in contact EVERYDAY through phone, text and facebook....Ryan knew he could talk to me and me not judge him. I must say that April 5 the my world fell apart. Thinking back of the last text he sent me..."I love you so much and miss you more than you know...your my best friend in life".

This post is my way of taking steps to healing. Ryan will be missed and never forgotten. I know he is by my side and will be guiding me on some guy choices...as he always had an opinion LOL!!! This is my letter for Ryan:

Ryan,

I sit here in tears writing this post knowing that you left us as you just couldn't take it anymore. You were such an awesome friend and inspiration. You have touched so many people lives. I truly feel that you were put here on this earth to make us all rethink on how we are living our lives. I know personally that i want to not waste any day....i want to live my life to its fullest extent. You have made me realize that i am a beautiful person inside and out! Thank you so much Ryan....we shared so many jokes and laughs it was crazy....you totally sucked at beer pong but that is ok.....you smudged my pink helmet and have officially hung your up.....this isn't the last time you will hear from me in my posts....im sure i will have a memory that will come up...and not to mention you will be seeing my tattooed beauty in heaven one day...You are my angel and i love you with all my heart. Please watch over your daughter and hold her hand through the tough moments in her future. And when i get up there i finally want to take a ride on that green chopper that we looked at....i know they got a faster and cooler one up there. You will forever have a spot in my heart. Miss you sweety RIP

Thursday, April 8, 2010

I saw this quote the other day and it totally stuck with me:

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when their right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
— Marilyn Monroe

It’s been a while since I have posted. It’s crazy how time flies when you get really super busy with life. I am So happy about a few things…for one my divorce FINALLY went through!  It’s been a year and a half since John and I have been separated and now it feels like I have no real ties with him anymore! It’s awesome….with that being said I also got rid of my rings….that was totally hard but again so worth the moment and feelings that I went through. With that being said lets get into the good stuff that is going on with me. I have recently met a bunch of SUPER cool people! Let me tell you about them:

Star Padilla – What to say….she is just so freaking funny and cool! Besty cant even describe the proper term...She is such an amazing soul and she deserves the best that comes!

Kimm Heal – She is a derby girl on the Runaway Brides! Totally a fun girl who I love to hang out with when we get the chance to! She is definitely one of my besties!

Theresa Montiel – Who helped me realize so many things about me that I have been struggling with on a daily basis! I love her to death and is a great person to have in my life on so many levels!

Brittany Manka – She is absolutely adorable and so much fun to hang out with! Totally glad that her and I have met and become friends

There are so many more of you that I have not mentioned but will soon in the future posts….Everyone in my life now is in it for a reason and vice versa! I have recently added to my tattoo collection as well more on my hands, chest, arms and face! It’s crazy what kind of attention that you get with all this but so worth it! I love challenging peoples thoughts and opinions! I will close for now with some pics….And expect more posts!