Syria bows to UK pressure and legalises same sex marriage

William Hague and the Conservative Party claimed a great victory today in their fight against the great evils of our time, as President Assad of Syria announced the legalisation of gay marriage. Speaking outside parliament Mr Hague said "This is a triumph, not just for me and David, but also for the gay people of Syria and everybody everywhere. It shows that, even today, Britain's voice is still one that must be listened to".