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Monday, April 5, 2010

Total World Domination

Today, I started a blog. I am not sure what possessed me to do this or what I intend to do with it, but I am certain it will be loud, obnoxious, and hazardous to my health (and possibly yours also). But in my experience, things are more fun that way. Huzzah!

I have set for myself the loftiest of goals, although I would not venture to call it an unattainable one, that being world domination. It is my belief that the pen is, in fact, mightier than the sword, partially because if you want someone to listen to you, it's a good idea to leave their blood inside them. I have found people to be significantly more responsive when they aren't dead. And it's hard to write with a sword, given their size and general sharp-ness.

But it is not with a pen (or a sword) that I address you on this night, at 11:40-ish. It is with a keyboard. This is because our world is being taken over, as I type, by robots, and seeing as how I cannot beat them, I join them. Also, I type faster than I write and it is difficult to put something on the internet without the use of a computer. There you go. Three solid-as-diamond reasons why I'm pro-robot. If you think about it long enough, you'll probably find that you, too, are pro-robot, but I think I have strayed from my point.

It is my intent to use this robot of mine and all those robots of yours to take over the world and use it for my villainous plans. I don't know what they are yet, but as soon as I think of them you can be sure I will post them to this blog. And you can be sure they will be loud, obnoxious, and hazardous to your health, as well as mine. But for now, I bid thee goodnight, because I'm tired, and even someone as ambitious as I am must sleep occasionally.