I'm 18 years old and I still feel upset about the issue of my parents.
I recently heard my mom talking on the phone (I took another phone to spy on her). She said stuff like : '' I hate my husband so much. I've always tried to get rid of him but that disgusting insect doesn't want to leave! Pfft he says he loves me so much, but I know he is putting on an act. I hate him the most and I really want him to leave!'' I was so mad that I called her all sorts of name by phone and in front of her friend. I said to her : '' STUPID WOMAN! You're the one who is supposed to leave! You're the only one who got issues in this family!''
But after that I feel really bad. I don't dare to look at her in the face nor talk to her. Nothing.

This is not a normal couple parents issue. A lot of stuff have been happening long time before. If I would tell, it'll take an eternity. Because of them, I'm on anti-depression medication and I do really bad in college.I'm usualy a smart person, but everything fell apart . All because of them!

I know it's not up to me wether to decide if my mom could love my dad or not. But they are my parents and I don't want either of them to be sad. I've been dealing this since I was a kid. And I am sick and tired of hearing their problem.
Specialy my mom.

I just don't know what to do, anyone please just give me advice on how I should handle these kind of situation. Posted on 06/22/10, 10:51 pm

It would appear that your entire family eco-system would be better if they divorce. As an older woman now of divorced parents (when I was 13) I can look back and say that I'm glad that my parents separated their ways. The fighting, both physical and mental, took its toll on me. You would be better off not having to hear their arguments and your mom's discussions of her feelings about your dad. You were wrong though to spy on your mother. You really don't know what goes on between two people, even though you may think you do. You don't know what happens when they are totally alone. How do you think your mother feels? Maybe she is really unhappy with your dad (obviously) and wants out? Divorcing is a hard thing to do. There is so much to think about, and your mom may be leaving all financial security she may have. Have you ever thought how it would feel to be tied to another person that treats you badly? That is no life for your mom, and what is said between two friends should be allowed by you, and not monitored by you. Do you want your mom to hear what you say to your friends? Of course not. I know this is a hard thing for you sweetie, but not all people find a soul mate in life and just because they don't love each other anymore doesn't mean they don't love you with all their heart.

I hope you can come to terms with what you parents so obviously need to do, divorce.

My 2 youngest teenagers came up to me one day and told me I should leave their dad - get away before he totally destroyed me. They were tired of how he treated me - they saw it daily. He even treated them badly. So, I left. It hasn't been easy getting use to be one my own and living on my income. But I am actually happier in a way. It was unfortunate that you heard that conversation. It is probably best not to get involved. Parents issues should be kept between the parents. You surely don't need the stress of their problems affecting your studies.

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