The Saturday Monks Brunch: February 3, 2018

There is some big game on in the US of A tomorrow night, and we begin today’s feast with a few ideas for your Sunday brunch:

Though it may represent an overly literal form of interpretation, I found at least one Bible-believing church that thinks the scriptures reveal the secret to the game’s outcome:

However, another school of prophets has received a different word from the heavens, complete with a bit of Hebraic wordplay:

When Justin Timberlake, who will perform at halftime, was asked about his little son donning a uniform one day, the singer responded immediately, “Uh, he will never play football. No, no.” However, if he did, you can be sure he’d try some moves worthy of his famous father. Like this one, for example:

Terry Wayne Ward, age 71, of DeMotte, IN, escaped this mortal realm on Tuesday, January 23rd, 2018, leaving behind 32 jars of Miracle Whip, 17 boxes of Hamburger Helper and multitudes of other random items that would prove helpful in the event of a zombie apocalypse.

Terry is survived by his overly-patient and accepting wife Kathy, who was the love of his life (a fact she gladly accepted sympathy for during their 48 years of marriage). He is also survived by daughters Rebecca (William) Hines and Jean (Jeff) Lahm; sister, Linda; brother, Phil; grandchildren: Alexander and Hannah Hines (The Mesopotamians), Daphne and Erin Pistello (The Daffer and Peanut), Brendan and Owen Lahm (Phineas and Ferb) and Tessa McMurry (Smiley).

He is preceded in death by his parents Paul and Bernice Ward, daughter Laura Pistello, grandson Vincent Pistello, brother Kenneth Ward, a 1972 Rambler and a hip.

Terry graduated from Thornridge High School in South Holland, IL, where only three of his teachers took an early retirement after having had him as a student. He met the love of his life, Kathy, by telling her he was a lineman – he didn’t specify early on that he was a lineman for the phone company, not the NFL. Still, Kathy and Terry wed in the fall of 1969, perfectly between the Summer of Love and the Winter of Regret.

Terry volunteered his service in the United States Army and was an active combat Veteran in the Viet Nam War.

He retired from AT&T (formerly Ameritech, formerly formerly Indiana Bell) after 39 years of begrudging service, where he accumulated roughly 3,000 rolls of black electrical tape during the course of his career (which he used for everything from open wounds to “Don’t use this button” covers).

He was a renowned distributor of popsicles and ice cream sandwiches to his grandchildren. He also turned on programs such as “Phineas and Ferb” for his grand-youngins, usually when they were actually there.

He despised “uppity foods” like hummus, which his family lovingly called “bean dip” for his benefit, which he loved consequently. He couldn’t give a damn about most material things, and automobiles were never to be purchased new. He never owned a personal cell phone and he had zero working knowledge of the Kardashians.

Terry died knowing that The Blues Brothers was the best movie ever, (young) Clint Eastwood was the baddest-ass man on the planet, and hot sauce can be added to absolutely any food.

And when he won and took the lump sum of over $660,000, he said modestly, “”Being a self-employed carpenter, I didn’t really have a plan for retirement…the money will help with that. I don’t have any other extravagant plans. I’ll buy a new truck, pay off some debt, and invest for the future.”

One of the things Savastano thought he should catch up on was seeing to his own health. Without health insurance, he had not been to the doctor for quite awhile, so he used some of the money to go see his physician.

There he discovered he had stage 4, terminal cancer. Three weeks later, on January 26, at age 51 Donald Savastano died.

If some well meaning religious type says there’s a reason, well, I think I might be capable of anything at that moment.

????

A COUPLE OF STUNNING PICTURE GALLERIES

First, a friend sent me this set of breathtaking shots of “liquid mountains” on Lake Erie roiling like the monsters of chaos were summoned. Click on each picture to see a larger image, and go to ABC News to see more.

Second, Amazon just revealed its new office project in downtown Seattle. It consists of three giant spheres that house, along with its workspaces, a conservatory with 40,000 plants from around the world. It took seven years of planning and building and 600 jobs were created to form this “rainforest” in the northwest.

Here are some of the remarkable shots from this new complex. Again, click on each to see a larger image, and you can see the full set of pictures at Bloomberg.

????

MEANWHILE, WHAT’S HAPPENING IN SCHOOL THESE DAYS?

I think I may have actually found that elusive “gift for the person who has everything.”

The Lucerne University of Applied Sciences and Arts (Luasa) will run a three-year bachelor’s degree and a two-year master’s.

The courses will begin in the 2018-19 academic year.

Or, perhaps a trip to Yale would do. There you could get in line for the most popular class in school history.

About 1,200 students signed up within a week after enrollment period opened to take Psyc 157, “Psychology and the Good Life.” That’s about one-quarter of all Yale undergraduates. It has earned the distinction of being the most popular course in Yale’s 316-year history. The demand was so great that the course lectures were moved to Woolsey Hall, home of the Yale Philharmonia.

According to the New York Times, “the course ‘focuses both on positive psychology—the characteristics that allow humans to flourish…and behavioral change, or how to live by those lessons in real life.’ It includes weekly ‘rewirement’ assignments, like performing acts of kindness and forming new social connections.”

Here’s one of those who successfully passed the course:

????

THEY’LL LITERALLY PUT YOU OUT ON YOUR ASS

I hope students everywhere will learn to avoid the penalty this cafehas imposed for those who pollute the air with one of our most aggravating adverbs:

And you thought Internet Monk’s moderation policy was strict!

????

COOLEST DISCOVERY OF THE WEEK

Researchers using a mapping technique known as LiDar (Light Detection And Ranging), which bounces pulsed laser light off the ground, revealing contours hidden by dense foliage, found that perhaps 10 million more Mayan people than previously thought lived in the dense jungles of Guatemala’s Peten region between roughly 1,000 BC and 900 AD.

The technique revealed tens of thousands of previously undetected Mayan houses, buildings, defense works and pyramids, along with evidence that Mayan agriculture was much more extensive and land-altering than thought in the past.

In all, the mapping detected about 60,000 individual structures, including four major Mayan ceremonial centers with plazas and pyramids.

Actually, the most overused, annoying word in the English language is the word like: I, like, told her, “If you, like, do that then you could, like, end with, like, a big problem.” And she was, like, “Then, like, what should I do?”. And I mean that is a conversation I overheard, literally.

Aren’t you being a little hard on me, Stuart? After all, I’m spinning a comment off of a Brunch story about a bar that “polices” its tipsy patron’s vocabulary. Is that an adequately big issue to worry about? I think you’re focusing your own “policing” in the wrong direction….

My grandmother use to tell me that I was the most handsome, smartest child in the world and I took her literally. Was I wrong? How could that be? Like, how could she be wrong? ” You know” is literally used too much like way too much, you know?
I do think my Grandmother was not speaking literally but exactly. I put the ill in literally.

I’m with you on that one. I grew up as an MK overseas, so never got indoctrinated to football as a kid. And my choice as an adult was to stay that way. Too violent in a culture that already has too much violence, and a little boring to boot. Don’t care for ice hockey for the same reason. Cricket I can also do without, though not because of any violence; it’s simply boring and rather baffling. And then there is the fact that most pro sports are highly commercialized spectacles. I watch World Cup soccer ever four years when I can, but that’s about the extent of my attraction to sports.

Robert F. I use Superbowl was named after Superman but he stood for truth, justice and the American way, so I guess I was wrong. I now know not to take the Super in the bowl literally thanks to today’s comments.
I think I had the Super Bowl meal once at Taco Bowl and after that became an expert on locating bowls on my trip. Truly the bowls at the Pilot Truck stop is super when u need it. Literally I make no sense but I am literally trying to tie it all in.

Be careful – the NFL might show up and force a modification of its trademarked name (whatever it is)…

My husband and I don’t watch sports, except for the Olympics and the World Series. One year when our kids were late elem/Jr High age, the S game got turned on. I was working on a project in another room. When I next looked into the living room, husband was asleep in his recliner, and the kids were napping on furniture or on the floor… I’m going to a piano concert tomorrow afternoon, but if I were home I might turn on the game to facilitate taking a nap.

Our parish holds is annual meeting the first weekend in Feb (had to be postponed a week this year because our priest is visiting Mt Athos). There’s not rabid football fandom among the parish members, but enough want to get home to the game that the meeting is always blissfully short 🙂

Has anyone notified members of the religious right obsessed with “religious freedom” issues? I mean this cafe could be said to be discriminating against folks who take the Bible literally! Order in the court!

Re the “public service announcement”: I’m trying to figure out why I had such a visceral dislike of the woman in it. Was it her accent? Was it her exaggerated presentation style? Was it the patronizing sanctimoniousness with which she delivered her message? Or was it that aim a miserable, crotchety old man who, come spring, will once again start yelling at the neighborhood kids to get off his lawn?

Nah. For myself, I think it was the patronizing sanctimoniousness with which she delivered her message. Throughout her spiel I was thinking, Ya know, her message is okay, but I can’t stand the way she’s saying it!

After a 12 hour shift, I think she deserves a little leeway. Believe me, people do stupid things and expose others to all kinds of health hazards in hospitals and clinics. She’s probably more than a little fed up.

I think this is literally, like, the umpteenth week in a row that someone trotted out the “old man yelling at the neighborhood kids to get off his lawn” meme, you know. I guess the internet has gone out of its mind with this video…

Good point, CM. In fact, I saw first-hand what you’re talking about. Earlier last week, I had to take my daughter to Urgent Care, and the doctor who saw her said that she and the other doc (there were only TWO for the whole shift) had seen NINETY patients in 8 hours.

I need to retract my opinion, and I’d apologize to the woman in the video if I could.

Sorry folks, I’m going to have to go against the grain here. She’s having to deal with tons of flu cases and tons of clueless people (unfortunately, no vaccine yet for cluelessness), so she’s letting off steam with a good tongue-in-cheek video. Or…..were you the ones taking your babies and your softball teams into the ER???

This is the direction the Episcopal Church USA has been headed for a long time. By the time the leadership finally arrives at its intended theological destination, however, the ECUSA will have ended as a denomination, due to membership attrition, probably in less than twenty years. They shall be singing to the choir, but there will be no one in the choir stalls. As a liberal-leaning former Episcopalian, I lament the tone-deaf, prosaic, radical progressive legalism with which theological demolition and reconstruction has been undertaken by ECUSA leadership, mostly without the support of its congregations, for the last fifty years.

I believe the word for “God” in Hebrew is “Elohim”, and is in fact a plural.

Gender in languages is interesting, and often has no relationship with actual biological sex.

The Episcopalians are doing this because they are neck-deep in the current Gnostic fantasy that accidents of biology, which began with corporations and will end who knows where, perhaps with viruses, don’t matter.

I’m more concerned about how some conservatives take the view that biology is ALL that matters. At least with regard to sexuality, the liberals are closer to the truth here from an eschatological standpoint.

No problem with recognizing Jesus’ motherliness, or God’s motherliness in general, in prayer, liturgy and teaching, but if you officially alter the doctrine so that God’s name is changed from Father, Son and Holy Spirit, or if you change the Lord’s Prayer to the Lady’s Prayer, I’m out of communion with that. I need the Trinity and Incarnation for my salvation.

The Lord’s Prayer, including its naming of God as Father, is fundamental to Christ’s example and teaching. You want to divide things that are not divisible. Pull the one thread out, and the whole garment begins to unravel.

That argument’s also been overused about Evolution, Feminism, and just about everything else. Result: Keep Everything in Complete Stasis of the Year 33 AD, just like Wahabi Islam and their perpetual Year One of the Hegira.

When your Roman Catholic Church ordains women priests, we can talk about my purported tendency to Wahabism in wanting to keep the traditional gender of pronouns in the Lord’s Prayer and other places; until then, your communion is closer to 33AD then mine is.

But I have to stop talking about being out of communion with those who disagree with me on this or just about any other theological issue. I believe in the practice of open communion, after all, inviting all, Christian and non-Christian alike, to the Lord’s table.

@Eeyore, Jesus, the incarnate God, as he is presented to us in the New Testament traditions, taught us to pray to the Father in the Lord’s Prayer and other places. I’m okay with referring to God in feminine terms in the people’s prayers, and other devotions, but I would resign membership from any church that changed the Lord’s Prayer as it was taught by Jesus, or that changed the name of the Trinity (the Father, Son and Holy Ghost: it’s a name) in its official doctrinal teaching. In my view they would be departing from Trinitarianism, along with the Incarnation.

The name of the Trinity, describing a personal relationship that is also divine, is Father, Son and Holy Ghost. We derive this belief by inference from the way Jesus referred to God throughout the NT generally, including in his teaching about how to pray in the Lord’s Prayer. To substitute Mother for Father in the Lord’s Prayer is to alter Jesus’ teaching about how to pray, which is foundational to Christian life and belief, as foundational as the Sermon on the Mount. It is not a lesser teaching than loving God and neighbor; it stands on equal footing, and both depend on each other.

You surprise me Robert. Let’s face it; internet comments do a poor job of giving a true glimpse of a whole, complex human being. If I would have had to guess, I would have thought you’d be on board with the D.C. Diocese. I would have been wrong.

senecagriggs, I think it is important that words be used correctly. One of my Grandmothers called me Pumpkin and the other Grandmother called me Sweet Pea. You can imagine my horror when I found out they were going to crave a Jack O Lantern Still do not eat pumpkin pie.. I did not sleep for weeks. Of course my brother called me Sugar Urine for years but I thought that was his nickname for me until fifth grade. When class pods became in vogue I excelled.
I like Prince asked people to refer to me as the man who use to be John Barry by using the $ symbol but most people just quit referring to me.
I am in trouble as I am in the process of trying to get the copyright to the great 4 Seasons song “Walk Like A Man’. I almost fell in the sewer while walking as some one , some thing removed the human hole cover. My wife told me to man up, she is not Episcopalian. I am against Manual labor should be someone else labor to be pc correct.

$ Formerly known as John Barry

Old TV Joke, I do not care if your name is Sugar Foot , get your toe out of my coffee! . Back in the era when the great James Gardner was just beginning to be the great James Gardner, he was Maverick before John McCain stole his handle.

Is God threatened by this? Is God changed by this? Does this change the gospel at all? Does this affect their ability to follow Christ’s instructions and example? Are people’s souls in danger from this? Does this send anyone to hell?

I believe in the Trinity, and the Incarnation. Apart from that belief, I see no special reason to follow Christ’s instructions or examples, or to even try. Change the words enough, and you end up changing the teaching, and then you have a religion centered on redemption without a redeemer. It doesn’t interest me; I can get more mileage out of the Buddha, if instruction and example are the point of it all.

Let me try again: If you change the word Father in the Lord’s Prayer to Mother, or to a non-gender pronoun, you’ve changed Jesus’ words and teaching. That seems clear to me. Show me where I’m wrong; I’m willing to be taught.

It does actually change Jesus’ teaching, if you count all of what he said and not directives only. It also definitely alters who the Persons of the Trinity are in relation to one another. The biggest – and recurring – question that Christian thinkers had to address in the first few hundred years was “Who is Jesus?” That’s what all those councils were called to discuss: how we can talk about who Jesus is in relation to the Father and the Holy Spirit, and to humankind, and how all of that is connected to and reflected in the Incarnation, Cross and Resurrection.

Remember, most Christians in the 4th century were Arians – they believed that Jesus was a created being. Sure, there were politics and power plays involved – there always are. But the outcome of the Councils was not meant to be something with which to hit people over the head, or which everyone had to understand in minutest detail. For centuries, that doctrine was expressed in worship.

In EO, we don’t have any attempts at systematic theologies until the late 1700s (and only because of pressure to westernize academic institutions in Russia). We do have about 3 dozen worship books, some of the content (excepting Scripture and scriptural allusions, which are even earlier) dating all the way back to the 200s – most getting started in the 500s or so, when the interpretive language of the first few councils had firmed up. If you want to know what Orthodox Christians believe, those are what are to be consulted. You read and hear some things over and over again, in the Liturgy and other services, particularly about the Trinity, the Divine and Human Natures of Christ, and that God loves mankind.

Anyone who thinks about it at all understands that “masculine” and “feminine” descriptors have nothing to do with the Divine Essence; they are characteristics of human beings and can only describe Divinity by analogy. Jesus Christ became a human male, and rightly is described in masculine terms, but his Divinity is beyond gender. “Father” and “Son” describe a relationship of begottenness that has nothing to do with sex and in no way diminishes the Divinity of the Son or the love of the Trinity for one another and all creation.

@StuartB, Jesus instructed his disciples how to pray in the Lord’s Prayer. He referred to God as Father in his instruction. How something as fundamental as his instruction in the practice of prayer could be understood as not part of his actual teaching mystifies me. I think his instruction in how to pray, and the example he gave in how to refer to God generally throughout the gospels, is as much a part of his teaching as the Sermon on the Mount. I don’t understand how you justify distinguishing between them; I don’t see a demarcation line.

Robert F. well stated, Is that not the basis of the Jefferson Bible where he just wanted Jesus to be a moral and good teacher with no reference to the supernatural? I personally think the changing of the language infringes on the content of the message but I am just a man also referred to as $

“Is God threatened by this? Is God changed by this? Does this change the gospel at all? Does this affect their ability to follow Christ’s instructions and example? Are people’s souls in danger from this? Does this send anyone to hell?”

Excellent points. No, the use of feminine pronouns does not do this. I too prefer the masculine pronouns and nouns for God simple because I’m used to them, plus using feminine pronouns and nouns does sound a bit goddess-worshipping, but…but no, the reality is that the use of feminine words doesn’t change the theology. I think some of the push back might come, subconsciously, from the cultural view until quite recently that femaleness was inferior to maleness, and that maleness was just a bit more holy than femaleness. There are evangelicals who are truly offended by femaleness.

The nouns and pronouns of God are not the hill to die on. If you want a hill, choose something from the Apostles Creed. Now those are worthy hills to die on. And while we’re all getting our knickers in a twist over this, are we making sure we’re following the ultimate of Christ’s teachings: love God above all and love our neighbor (not here, but in life in general)?

I don’t know that it sounds pompous, but I don’t see how we, as Christians, practice the love you are talking about without practicing prayer as Jesus instructed us to pray, including referring to God as Father. I repeat: Jesus’ teaching about prayer in the Lord’s Prayer, including his referring to God as Father, and the example he gave throughout the NT in referring to God as Father in prayer, is as important to his instruction and example as the Sermon on the Mount.

If the words are important to you, then they’re important to you. I’m not discounting that at all. I’m more into the concept overall, that’s why the word used isn’t as important to me.

One interesting thing to think about is how people several years down the road will see this since they’ll be even more used to women in all areas of society. Will they see no problem with female pronouns being used? Just something to think about. Still, in my opinion, this is not a hill to die on – the concept yes, the words, no, at least not to me.

I’m inclined to believe that concepts are not primary for Christianity; it is relationship of the human to the divine that is first and foremost, and that is redemptive and sanctifying. And relationship is forged by persons in the interplay of words, making words of great importance. Of course, I may be wrong, but that is my takeaway from what I’ve seen and experienced up to this point. From what I’ve seen, churches that alter the pronouns referring to God, so that Father no longer is the controlling name, like the UCC, soon lose all the concept of salvation by grace, meaning salvation given by God to undeserving humans, and instead embrace a facile anthropology which gives no account to the fatal character flaw that traditional Christian theology has always found in human behavior and psychology. In short, the need for a savior disappears, and Jesus Christ becomes redundant, except as an exemplar for human behavior, alongside many other exemplars.

I don’t see that truth is tied to the masculine either. That’s not what I’m saying. I thought my comments were careful enough to make it clear that my sole concern is keeping the teachings of Jesus about prayer and the name of God the way they are, without any intention of excluding feminine metaphors and similes from use in religious expression and life, or excluding women from any facet of religious life, including ordination to the priesthood/pastorate. I guess I’m not being clear enough. Maybe I’ll try another day to express what I’m mean, if the occasion arises, but I will give it a rest right now.

Write to Us

IMonk BULLETIN BOARD

A NOTE FOR COMMENTERS

If you don’t see your comment appear, please drop me an email. It may be in the “PENDING” folder, which means the filter has moderated it. I free those every time I check the site. Or, it may go to the “SPAM” filter. I don’t have time to go through the hundreds of comments that go into spam every day, but let me know and if it’s in spam I can do a quick search and set it free.