Furious Teen Robs Four Subways Because The Subway Diet Didn’t Work

Not every diet is foolproof, no matter how many success stories there are.

19-year-old Zachary Rapheal Torrance had been following the “Jared Diet” by eating two “low calorie” Subway sandwiches a day for an undisclosed amount of time when he finally had enough of not seeing any positive results. But instead of writing a negative Yelp review, or taking to his twitter as most people do, Torrance ended up robbing four subways with a gun because he felt that the chain owed him his money back. I personally like to just cry while standing on a scale, but that’s just me.

“Was it the mayonnaise? I bet it was the mayonnaise.”

Seriously, the guy looks more fit than Jared up there. Torrance robbed the first Subway around 8:45AM last Friday. The second happened minutes later at 9:11AM with two more following.

Police won’t disclose how much money Torrance had stolen exactly, but we hope he at least took advantage of the $5 foot-long offer during the time of his diet. Because, let’s face it, $5 for a foot long sandwich is just a solid deal, folks.

Torrance has been charged with first-degree robbery with no one injured during the teen’s failed-diet-rampage.