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Violence Over Austerity Felt Overseas

Rioters protesting Greek austerity measures and the burgeoning Spanish deficit violence have swept American shores, with outrage over unfair labor practices artfully concealed over the Twitter-verse by reference to the spurious dispute between the NFL and its referees.

Even Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker, noted for his stand-offs with local unions, expressed support, tweeting “After catching a few hours of sleep, the #Packers game is still just as painful #Returntherealrefs.” The governor is clearly demanding a return to the strict financial regulations that would have prevented the financial collapses that prompted these measures, as a result of a loss by the “Packers” – a team collectively owned by the town of Green Bay, WI, a clear reference to the strong social norms that remind us all how to work together in a society.

When faced with this message, Governor Walker promptly shot a reporter in the face, calling him a “fucking collectivist apologist” and demanding “mah FOOTBAHL back!”