Doing It Marginally Well Since 2005

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The Great Debate

Let me start by explaining that I realize the current strife we’re experiencing in our household is entirely my fault. It is of my doing. I accept full responsibility. Because, I was the one that purchased the Keurig coffeemaker over which Bob and I are currently arguing.

Back, many years ago, when we were renovating our first house, I bought a Keurig thinking the single-serve set-up would be convenient for us since we were going to be without a kitchen for an extended period of time. It proved very convenient and we loved the ease of making coffee with the Keurig. We used that machine exclusively for well over a year.

When I left full-time employment to stay at home with the boys, I started (for obvious reasons) to need A LOT of coffee. I also prefer strong, full-bodied coffee, which I never thought the Keurig was good at delivering; something that you can really only get in a traditional brew design. I remember purchasing a little four-cup coffeemaker at Target and mixing my own ground coffee to make really good, really strong coffee.

We continued like this, in relative harmony, for years. Bob with his Keurig, drinking mediocre coffee on demand. Me with my drip coffeemaker mixing beans and varietals like a laid-off barista. He would occasionally comment on how stressful it must be for me each morning to have to wait a full five minutes for a cup of coffee while he has to only wait about three minutes but, for the most part, our household was at peace.

Until now.

Our current home has the least amount of counter space of any of our previous homes. In our other kitchens, there was always a large enough, logical spot to accommodate all of our assorted caffeine machines. In this kitchen, our coffeemakers take up one entire span of counter space from the wall to the kitchen sink. I think this is ridiculous and have therefore decided the Keurig must go. I arrived at this conclusion shortly after we moved in and unpacked but I knew Bob wouldn’t give up his beloved coffeemaker without a fight so I’ve had to carefully plan my approach.

Also, for a brief shining moment, when we had a ton of friends and family visiting during Bob’s recovery, the Keurig was sputtering under the weight of the coffee demand. The pump wasn’t pumping enough water to make a cup and the lights just kind of blinked at random. I pronounced the Keurig officially broken and was silently rejoicing. No such luck though since it miraculously began working again like some reanimated zombie in a horror movie.

So, I was forced to go back to my insidious plan to manipulate Bob into agreeing to go back to a drip coffeemaker. I first tried discussing the environmental impact all of those used K-cups must be having since they’re not recyclable. He didn’t take the bait because Bob must hate the outdoors and sunshine. Next, I tried showing him the insanely expensive per-pod cost of each K-cup. He immediately changed the subject because Bob obviously doesn’t care if our kids go to college. My last attempt at convincing him to part with the Keurig held the most promise. Bob is extraordinarily health conscious so when I brought up the fact that our neighbors don’t use a Keurig anymore because they were concerned about drinking super-heated water that was shot through cheap plastic, I knew I stood a chance. Bob hung his head and accused me of many lies and trying to take away the one, true thing he’s ever loved. It was a tough and uncomfortable situation, however, it was all for naught since the Keurig is still sitting on my counter.

Do you see how cute my kitchen coffee station could be without the Keurig? So light! So bright! Yes, please come over for coffee anytime!

Instead, it looks like this. Bleh. It’s like the entire kitchen has a black eye. (Too dramatic?)

Bob said he can tell when he’s not wanted and has threatened to relocate the whole Keurig operation to the basement where we have a super cozy sitting area. Despite absolutely ZERO exclamations of protest from me, he has yet to actually take it down there. I hate the term, “man cave” but I am actively encouraging him to create one downstairs.

After Bob explained that he had consulted with his crew at the office, who had immediately risen to his defense (because of course), I told him I was taking it to the Internet who collectively, I assume, will wholeheartedly validate my position. Right? RIGHT? Your future coffee consumption while visiting hangs in the balance so I would choose wisely.

I believe you should take the Keurig to the basement yourself and set up a wonderful coffee station just for Bob. Tell him you love him so much you wanted to make this special place for him. He’ll have to walk downstairs in the AM but he loves exercise. Two birds – one stone:)