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Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

It's National Watermelon Day.

FINALLY.

And you know what that means, right?

Time to buy a cake.

Do those look like minnows? Just a tad, Pole.

(No, I've never met anyone named "Pole" before, either. But - BUT - John is Polish. So...um...maybe I sometimes affectionately refer to him as "Pole," ok? You don't know. Look, bottom line: just WORK WITH THE PUN, people, ok? Work...with the pun.)

So, how can YOU celebrate National Watermelon Day?

With healthy stuff, of course!

You know, like oil-soaked Cheetos:

Erm. Wrong oil.

Or a traditional "ICU" Melon:

Don't make me call Gallagher, punk.

Or perhaps some exotic plant life:

"FEED ME, SEYMOUR!"

Or, um, vampire ants?

"Vlad! Mortimor! Pull out! Ve've sucked 'er dry!

Teresa, Emily B., Beth, Missy M., & Erica H., I think I'm going to need a "Beware Mortimor the Vampire Ant" t-shirt. Can any of you do something about that?

The emoticon reminds me more of the rabbit from Monty Python's Holy Grail!

Which makes sense, because I thought the vampire ants must be working with Bunnicula! http://www.amazon.com/Bunnicula-Rabbit-Tale-Mystery-Deborah-Howe/dp/1416928170/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1280847478&sr=1-1

Wow, first tadpoles and then...leeches! Yes, just what I wanted on my cake! And I would SO eat that big cootie-lipped cake, a cookie is still a cookie. :) Love the Gallagher reference (whatever happened to him? He was hilarious! Someone should do a Gallagher cake!)Hey! I'm Polish too! :)

These are awesome. I love that national watermelon day is in the summer. I guess that makes sense haha. But what's more awesome is that I'm sitting on the couch next to an open window and need a blanket on national watermelon day. I love living in the northwest.

Ha! I totally forgot about sending that CCC in! The weirdest thing for me is that the grocery store where I found it is no longer in business. It was an Albertson's, which went out of business here in Orlando and the buildings were bought out by Sedano's.

Loved the vampire ant emoticon and must say that although I read The Chronicles of Narnia, Ender's Game and the Belgeriad, each with a Pole character, my mind immediately went to the gutter. Go Jen Go!

That explains why I've been craving watermelon all day! It makes so much sense that my body just knew it was National Watermelon Day. Either that or it's the fact that I'm 9 months pregnant. It has to be the Watermelon Day thing, though...

Sperm cake, goat-droppings cake, whale-melon cake, upside-down smiling watermelon cake and a picnic invasion. Well, that's what they look like. Surely a watermelon is not that hard to commit to memory? Even I know what one looks like when cut. duh!

Oh my just thinking about what those "seeds" remind me of makes me want seedless watermelons from now on lol. And the vampire ants had me nearly on the floor laughing. I say nearly because if I fell to the floor in the dark I would likely stay there and not bother typing lol. The ants would get me for sure.

#1 Is there something in the Wreckerator Code that says that oval objects (watermelon seeds, balloons) must appear to be *swimming*?

#2 Wrong oil? The statement presumes there is a right oil for soaking Cheetos. Well, scratch those off the snack menu. Healthier eating through aversion-producing imagery -- another benefit of reading this blog.

#3 My wife-to-be is a nurse, so to me, 'ICU' automatically means, 'Intensive Care Unit'. That works here, too, for some odd reason.

Do we know what the er, 'accessories' are on #4? They appear to be dead -- I can't decide if that helps or not. Continuing the theme...

#5 Of all the ways to flotsamize a wreck, why ants? Are poo blobs not enough anymore? Is it already time for the gross-out Olympics again?

Does "devil food" (or "devil's food" as it used to be known before apostrophes were banned in bakeries) come in a variety of flavors, or did the wreckery match a lack of knowledge of watermelon with a gift for redundancy?

The second-to-last one is clearly a rare, Northern South Amsterdamian Venus Watermelon Fly-trap. Those poor ants are about to be lured to their doom. DOOM, I TELL YOU... DOOOOOOOOMMMMMM. (Doomity, doom, DOOM-doom, doom, doom).

Eyes on a watermelon, I mean we've humanized animals to death, guess we're going after the fruit next. Yes, Ice Age would be a different movie if done from that coconut's point of view, a lot more boring, long periods of laying on the ground and/or floating in water, I wonder, do sharks "taste" ocean going coconuts? But definitely would have been a different movie.

Silly me, I ate watermelon for watermelon day (yes, I observed it -- kids with nothing to do for the summer). The one holiday that doesn't already center around eating unhealthy food, we're supposed to buy a cake for?

I'm sorry, maybe it's just me, but the girl in the first picture - is she an actual child? It looks like a doll. Or was the photo airbrushed? What child has skin that clean, all over? And her nail polish isn't chipped? Really?Sorry - it's just kinda creeping me out.

But...but.. I've MADE a watermelon cake. It's NOT. THAT. DIFFICULT. I just don't understand how these people get jobs. If you can't execute the watermelon cake or the cheeseburger cake, you shouldn't have the job. Just sayin'.

@BADKarma!: Ants lured to their doom? I'm totally down with that. How's this for a concept: a 'vortex of doom' cake (one of the wreckier cornucopias should do nicely) with a line of ants marching right into it.

@Bookette, yes the girl is real. She's my 4 year old and she has beautiful skin and eyes. Totally forgot I had sent this photo in, much less that she was in it. She was excited to see herself on cakewrecks!

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