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{ Monthly Goals and Why Self-Care is so Important | NOVEMBER }

I know that it’s cliche to say this but where the heck is time going?! We’re already in November (my birthday month, woohoo!!) and I feel like Christmas was just a few months ago! I hear older generations talk a lot about how time seems to go by faster as they grow older and I have to say that it definitely seems like it.

Growing up, you want nothing more but to be an adult, to be independent, to have your own home and your own life. But now that I look back, I wish that I had cherished more the moments of being a child, living at home where there wasn’t much to worry about. I wish that I had appreciated even more living under the same roof as my parents and sisters.

I still find it hard to believe that I’m adult because part of me still feels like a child while another part of me feels like I really don’t have all my sh*t together. When I think back to the perception that I had as a child of what it meant to be an adult, I definitely don’t feel like I’m anywhere close to the image idea I had created in my mind.

Where am I going this? I have no idea. Just my musings for this morning. It’s Sunday, it’s grey outside. The window in my office is slightly open, I can hear the rain outside and I can feel a slight cool breeze while I’m sitting with my hoodie, my cozy blanket and my homemade chai latte. The day feels peaceful and slow, even though I know that tomorrow, I’m going to hit the ground running.

To be honest, I had a semi-meltdown this week. Ok, it wasn’t a full on meltdown but lately, I’ve been feeling off balance (if you haven’t noticed my blogposts about anxiety and having a bad day…that should have been an indication of how I’ve been feeling).

As the year is coming to a close, I’m getting worried that I wont achieve the goals that I set out for myself at the beginning of the year. One particular goal is my fitness goals. Well, the truth is, even though I don’t like calling it as such, it’s health and fitness goals (i.e. doing 10 push ups, 5 unassisted chin-ups, improving my cardio etc.) but it’s also body goals. I want my body to be in a certain shape (toned) and I wanted my body composition to have changed (lose body fat percentage, gain muscle mass, lose overall weight).

When I sat down and looked at my fitness progress in the last year, the numbers don’t add up. I’ve barely lost body fat percentage, I’ve lost some body fat in weight, and I’ve gained some muscle mass. But the difference is marginal when you look at it from a one-year perspective.

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But then when I look at my body in the mirror and I look at how I fit in my clothes, there is a HUGE difference. My stomach is a lot more toned, I have BACK muscles (never thought that would happen), my thighs are clearly slimming down, my legs look stronger than ever, and I’ve lost a few more inches all over my body in the last few weeks.

So what gives?

I talked extensively to my hubby who spends the most amount of time with me, to my sister who knows me inside out, and to my trainer who has been an amazing coach but also a great source of support and encouragement throughout this process. All three tell me the same thing over and over again, but it kept on falling on deaf ears.

They all say that the reason I haven’t seen a huge amount of difference is because of stress, which is causing havoc on my body. I don’t sleep well, I’m under constant pressure and stress, which will cause my body to be in a protective mode where I am unable to lose weight.

Considering how well I eat, how often I train and how many other things I’ve tried to change, there should have been a bigger difference. It can’t be the food nor the training.

The reality is that I’ve been obsessing over the things that I feel like I have control over (i.e. what I eat and how much I train) because it’s too damn hard to look at what I can’t control and admit that the problem lies there. That the real problem is that there are things that I can’t fix, that aren’t my problem to fix to begin with, and that I don’t have control over so I need to let go.

The truth is, I didn’t want to admit that there were external factors affecting my well-being that I need to let go of and just focus on me. I’m a natural caregiver – I want to take care of everyone around me and make sure that everyone is okay. But then I forget how Seppy is doing. I ignore that Seppy is exhausted, drained, doesn’t have the energy to really focus on her own goals and what she is trying to accomplish (not sure why I started writing in the third person here … haha).

But I think that I can finally say that I need to make a drastic change. And it’s not about changing how much I exercise or what I eat, because I’ve found what works for me: I absolutely LOVE going to the gym. My trainer gives me a new program every month and I see progress – I can bench press 70 lbs, I can deadlift 80 lbs, I can do 10 REAL push-ups, I can do 5 chin-ups (even though they’re with an elastic, I’m still pretty damn proud of myself) and now I’m doing even more advanced training which is SO much fun to see that my body is capable of.

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As for eating, I have my FabFour smoothie every morning which has helped me curb cravings during the day. I’ve been better at practicing mindful eating and have noticed that I crave junk food a lot less. My taste buds are changing and I can’t tolerate too much salt or sugar anymore.

These are all amazing changes that I haven’t been able to recognize. This is progress. This is change. But instead I’ve been focusing on the wrong thing. I haven’t paid attention to how I can improve my self-care routine. I haven’t been consistent enough with sticking to my evening routine or creating a morning routine that I will help me feel more balanced and in control of my emotions and my reactions.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’m doing horribly. But at the same time, I need to switch things up. Which brings us to the main point of this blogpost (if you’re still reading, THANK YOU, I hope I haven’t bored you too much yet haha). The main focus for my goals for the month of November is going to be well-being, self-love and self-care. When you are doing well physically and emotionally, you feel strong and happy and everything else falls into place. If you are taking care of your body and mind, your life feels more balanced and calm. And that’s what I want and need.

Yes, I still have my blog goals and I still have fun things planned for the month. But everything will always go back to well-being and self-love. Whatever I do this month, if it’s not contributing to my well-being, I am going to pass. If an interaction, habit, event, moment is not serving me positively, I’m not going to engage. I really need take better care of myself and implement the knowledge that I know because I don’t want to get to a burn out.

So there you have it. A few thoughts on what’s been going on with me and what I’m planning on doing to improve my well-being. I know that the format of the monthly goals blogpost keeps on changing and even though I like to say consistent, I’m also being realistic that the whole point of setting monthly goals is to look at the previous and make changes if something is not working. And for me, the month of November will be all about self-love and focusing on my well-being.

{ Self-Love Lesson }

Focus on your well-being. Love yourself enough to know that your needs and emotions are valid, that your goals are important and that you have every right to set boundaries and put the priority on your own well-being. Only you know best what you need to feel better. Take care of yourself, every day.

Comments

This is so awesome, and so very important. I’ve recently (finally) jumped on the self care train and my life has COMPLETELY turned around. My situations are the same, but my attitude is different. I hope you get the same awesome results I have, it took TWO YEARS of intentional thought for me to get here.

You’re so driven-it’s no wonder that you’re accomplishing your goals! I know sometimes it’s hard to see it on yourself, but the fact that you have such a great support system speaks volumes-they’re going to keep you going! I’ve got lots of to-dos on my goals list for the month, but mostly I just want to check off all of my christmas shopping so I can fully enjoy December without having to rush around the mall!

Oh gosh, thank you so much for the positive encouragement, I need it !!! haha And you’re right, your support system is so important in helping you in reaching your goals but also reminding you that you need to take care of yourself.

Christmas shopping, YES! It’s been on my list for a few months but it hasn’t gotten as far as I’d like…!! Good luck!!

I am the same, stress has held me back this year, I feel like I could have achieved a lot more without it but it’s all a lesson I suppose! As long as we keep taking steps forward! Thanks for this insight.

OMG I absolutely love how you’ve laid out your bullet journal, I need to do this! I’ve also been thinking about self-care and how important it is lately! Thanks for all your tips <3
Xx Kate from http://www.layeredindulgence.com

Loved reading about your goals. I hope you have an incredible birthday month & you achieve all of your goals! I’m going to try to go to the gym more this month too. Maybe we could motivate each other to focus on our health goals + blog goals? 🙂

I’ve always hit the same wall while trying to become healthier. I would be doing all the right things and see zero results. Literally, zero! It was frustrating. My husband and I recently discovered the keto diet and it’s been life changing. It’s changed so much of what I thought was right. Finding what works for you is vitally important for success!

Kalyn, I feel you…it’s so discouraging when you’re actually putting in the effort and you don’t see results. I’m SO glad you found something that has worked for you, that’s amazing!!!! And hopefully it’s a sustainable lifestyle change that you can maintain!! Good for you!!!

I’ve never realized how important self-care was until recently. Taking time for yourself is extremely important especially if you’re constantly on the go. I too sometimes wish I could go back to being younger and not having to worry about a thing.
Great post.
Nichole // thedailypursuit.com

Thanks Nichole! At least you realized it sooner rather than later so you can make the changes. I’m doing that now and already a week into it, I’m noticing a difference, so it’s really worth investing in your self-care.

I love everything about this post! Your honesty about your struggles. Your commitment to yourself and your goals and you self love. And that PLANNER! I’ve got all the heart eyes for that tracking system you have in there!

I totally believe in you Seppy, and I can’t wait to see you kick some butt this month!

Happy Birthday (month). I could not agree with you more in regards to not stressing over things you have no control over and controlling that which you can. It sounds as if a great month is ahead for you.

I too can relate all too well with this. My weight hasn’t dropped as much bease I have dealt with alot of grief this year. I love you strategy for maintaining self care for yourself in a journal. I think it would be good for me too, to do the same. I battle with anxiety and depression daily. I’m just an ear away too!.

Happy Birthday Month, may you achieve all your goals and make it the best! ♡

I love your goal–I need to make self-care a priority as well!! I totally agree about stress affecting your body–and it seems like this is the time of year stress levels really amp up! I’d like to focus on making this upcoming holiday season truly peaceful! Thanks for the encouragement! And–I LOVE your journal!!

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Hi! I’m Seppy and I'm passionate about LIFE and living every day to its fullest. I love to laugh, to bullet journal and I’m a self-proclaimed chocoholic (if it doesn’t have chocolate, it’s not dessert).

I’m here to help you create and live your dream life by giving you a daily dose of inspiration, encouragement and that kick in the butt that you need to #DreamBig and bring your goals to life. Are you ready?

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