Kent Bush: A little bit of levity among this week's news

Wednesday

Apr 27, 2011 at 12:01 AMApr 27, 2011 at 4:52 PM

Now they think the 1,000-foot tunnel that allowed about 500 members of the Taliban to escape from a Kandahar prison might have been an inside job. Not since Andy Dufresne used a rock hammer to etch his way out of Shawshank has such an elaborate plan been hatched to get someone out of jail.

Kent Bush

This has been a good week for news. It hasn't been a week for good news.

But at least there has been a little bit of levity among the less-than-happy news of the week so far.

Not quite to China

Now they think the 1,000-foot tunnel that allowed about 500 members of the Taliban to escape from a Kandahar prison might have been an inside job. Not since Andy Dufresne used a rock hammer to etch his way out of Shawshank has such an elaborate plan been hatched to get someone out of jail.

About 70 of them have been recaptured. They should look for the rest of them along the beaches of Zihuatanejo on the west coast of Mexico.

Not in the mood for a race

The only thing that could have made the race to keep Barack Obama on the list of one-term presidents any more fun would have been if the Ku Klux Klan could have been mentioned in campaign ads.

Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour first refused to denounce a plan to honor KKK founder Nathan Bedford Forrest with license plates in his state, and now he refuses to run for president. Barbour said at the time that he just isn't in the habit of denouncing anyone –– not even the media.

I think to run for president, the "no denouncing policy" might need to be amended. It's probably good that he didn't run. It's bad enough to need interpreters when the president of the United States speaks to the United Nations. But Barbour's Southern drawl is so pronounced that the State of the Union Address would have needed subtitles.

One of two reasons

There can only be two possible explanations for the Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence Institute, or SETI, to shut down.

You can either believe that the California group with its eyes on the skies is shutting down because of a lack of governmental and private funding, or you can realize that there is a real reason they don't want us to know.

One of the senior astronomers at SETI said this move was akin to putting the Nina, the Pinta and the Santa Maria into dry-dock. Of course, those vessels all found America in far less time than the SETI telescopes have been combing the universe. But his comment is a clue to the real reason for the shutdown –– they have found them.

After all, no one is planning an exhibition to discover Canada. We already know all about it. If President Obama were an alien, it would explain Hawaii's inability to produce his birth certificate. It might also explain Donald Trump's hair.

They say they need $5 million to keep SETI's search going. I think they know all they need about extra-terrestrial life. I just hope we don't miss this year's Christmas celebration on planet ZR-54 while the telescopes are hibernating.