The people on OK Cupid are always an adventure, some of them more than others. See the more ridiculous shit that lands in my inbox here.

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Profile dissection

I actually don't even have the energy to dissect. I'm just leaving it here in its glory for you:

Hello there! Get ready for a
brick wall of fucking text.

Preface: I almost never send out the first
message, so if you're interested, say hello.Why do I do this?1. I've sent out way too many thoughtful first
messages that result in the girl viewing my profile and then never responding.
Half the time I don't even care if they're interested in dating...I just want
to pose some philosophical question relevant to their profile. So screw it, you
can message me!2. I don't like gender roles such
as the man having to be the one to make all the moves in a dating. I'd prefer
there to be an equal balance between men and women. So, if you make the first
move, I'll make the second :) I'm sure the feminists out there can agree with
me?--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Also, one word messages (e.g.
"hey") or overly simplistic/thoughtless messages such
as "how are you," "how was your weekend," etc. will
not warrant a response from me.In layman's terms, if you ain't got shit to
say, I ain't got shit to say back.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm sort of curious how
that works out for him. Dating online is *definitely* skewed in favor of women,
at least on OK Cupid.

About YOU:I am looking for a like-minded individual. We don't
have to share every ideology, but I prefer that you be non-religious and
liberal. I don't care if you eat meat but for the love of god, asking me about
why I became a vegetarian is NOT a good conversation starter. Also, telling me
that you couldn't live without meat is only going to irritate me even more. So
honestly, just don't bring it up in your first message...I don't have any set physical preferences. If
I'm attracted to you, I'm attracted to you is the way I see it. I try to keep
an open mind, but physical attraction is still important nonetheless. However,
I don't necessarily disregard people on the basis of
height/weight/ethnicity/boob size/etc.

Ah yes, the requirements
list. This makes me want to message him asking him about meat, meat, and more
meat.

Why I'm on here: My ultimate goal is to find a relationship. Nothing
happens over night, and I don't plan to immediately enter a long-term,
committed relationship, but shouldn't that be everyone's eventual goal? If I'm
going on dates with you, it's not to have anything temporary. I do not do
flings/friends with benefits/one night stands.

What I’m doing with my
lifeI'm a recent college graduate starting a master's program
and graduate teaching assistantship. My major is and was Communication. What do
I plan on doing with my degree when I get out? No clue. Don't ask.

But...Shouldn't you have at
least *some* idea of what you're going to start looking to do when you
graduate? Why'd you want the degree in the first place? These seem like
reasonable questions when you're on a date.

Favorite books, movies,
shows, music, and foodBooks - WikipediaMovies - The Pianist, Life is Beautiful, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless
Mind, SidewaysShows -
Game of Thrones, Parks and Recreation, Breaking Bad, Family Guy, King of the
HillMusic -
Pink Floyd, Death Cab, Coldplay to name a fewFood -
Got a weak spot for a good bowl of macaroni and cheese.

Ugh. Coldplay. (This is
admittedly my own hangup, and not actually a comment on other people. Mostly.)

The role of height in dating. No, I am
not 7'11'' inches tall. I do not list my height at the top of my profile
because women tend to skip over my profile if I do...before even reading what I
have to say. I'm not a midget by any stretch, just shorter than average
standing at 5'6''. Nonetheless, being a shorter man in our society is not seen
as a good quality. Shorter men make less money, are seen as less powerful, and
subsequently, most women do not prefer short men.I have dated girls from 5'0'' tall to 6'3'', and
I would date far outside that as well because I look for something deeper than
what is on one's surface. Sure, we all have preferences, but preferences do not
stop me from getting to know someone. Sometimes when we deviate outside our
preferences or our idea of what would be an "ideal" partner, we find
ourselves pleasantly surprised.Moreover, our society has this norm that the man
should be taller than the woman in dating, a product of a patriarchal society.
So, if you're a feminist, and you only date taller men, that might make
you somewhat of a hypocrite.I've done a bit of research on this topic in
school, and I found that studies show that most guys prefer shorter women, and
most women prefer taller men. If you're actually reading this, message me with
the word "elephant." Where the sexes are different is that men prefer
slightly shorter women, and women prefer vastlytaller men;
furthermore, women were the only sex in a particular study to reject men based on their being shorter.But what irks me about this subject is not necessarily
that most women do not prefer men of my stature...it's that women have the
audacity to tell men they aren't interested because of how
tall (or short, rather) they are. I've heard "you're too short for
me" plenty of times (from shorter and taller women). To me, that is the
equivalent of a man saying to a woman, "you're too fat for me." Both
scenarios are terribly rude, and I just think that most women don't realize
they're being offensive when they tell a guy he is too short. It is
indeed quite the double standard in our society that it's fine if women reject
a man because of his appearance (height), but a man is a shallow
"pig" if he rejects a woman because of hers (weight).This is a pretty awesome picture depicting what
I just said:http://alturl.com/8u9qrTL;DR Rejecting
someone formally based on their appearance is extremely rude. If you aren't
interested in someone, just politely say you're not interested. You don't have
to give a reason.And if my height deters you from wanting to
speak to me, then I don't want to speak to you either.

Jesus Christ, so much bitterness about height. You know, honestly, it's
probably better just to leave it on your profile and not mention it at all?
Generally if you don't make a big deal about something, others won't make a big
deal about it anyway, and since he doesn't send the first message to people,
all that would happen is women who wouldn't have messaged him due to
height...still won't do it.

The most private thing
I’m willing to admitI'm actually a cat.And I really don't actually like the term
"feminism" despite how I've used it on my profile. I'm down with the
ideals of the feminist movement, but to me, the name stands for progression for
solely women (which I know isn't true, but that's not what the name suggests)
whereas I prefer the term "egalitarian," which would be more along
the lines of progression for every sex against the current norms--male, female,
transgender, etc.

Ugh. I'm not even going to get into my rant about erasing the axes of oppression by using the word "egalitarian" (or, equally egregious, "humanism".) Piss off with your privilege.

You should message me ifYou choose to.Also, I have a very strict dating policy. If we schedule a
date, and you cancel, that's it. Stuff comes up, I know, but I've been blown
off far too many times for me to care. If you're going to commit to a date, you
should make that commitment. If I'm going to make time in my schedule to meet
you, setting aside potential plans, then you should as well. Cancelling,
especially at the last minute, is extremely disrespectful to anyone. If you
can't make the date, sorry, but that's the end of it. (This mainly goes for
first dates.)Too strict? Find another gentleman. There are
plenty on here :)