Oprah lends a hand to New Beginnings

Published 10:00 pm, Sunday, June 8, 2003

The topic of domestic violence will soon slide to the back burner again and continue to bubble until a new horror hits the headlines.

And that's OK because of, big-news tragedies like the recent killing of Crystal Brame by her husband, Tacoma Police Chief David Brame, the back burner is where the everyday cooking really gets done.

Not that some high-profile help isn't a boost for a problem this deep and wide.

A recent forum in Renton, for instance, hosted by DAWN (Domestic Abuse Women's Network) and other domestic violence assistance organizations in South King County, turned a timely spotlight on murky issues about police pursuit of allegations against their own.

And, a week ago, perhaps the country's most popular woman -- Oprah Winfrey -- contributed more than just a pat on the back to the work being done here when she announced that a $25,000 grant from Oprah's Angel Network will go to Seattle's New Beginnings. The shelter, education and advocacy non-profit has worked quietly on behalf of abused women and their kids for 26 years now. And although news of the grant got a bit lost in the hoopla of Oprah's "Live Your Best Life Tour," the money is cause for celebration at a time when non-profits are squeezing every cent.

New Beginnings development director Zoe Myers had no idea why a nice woman from an unnamed Chicago-based foundation was calling a few months ago, "to do some research for the boss" on domestic violence efforts in our region.

The call came long before the death of Crystal Brame and apparently was spurred by the many times New Beginning's work popped up in news coverage on the issue.

Whatever the reason, New Beginnings will put the money to good use on behalf of women like the one who checked into its shelter last Wednesday. The next morning the mother told the staff it was the first time she'd slept through the night without waking in fear -- and without having to go to bed wearing her tennis shoes in case she'd have to run.

For safety reasons we never hear directly from the women who find help, advice and a good night's sleep inside such shelters. Their names are always shadowed as if they, not their abusers, have something to hide.

She first came to New Beginnings 10 years ago as the fourth generation of women in her family to suffer domestic abuse.

Her great-grandmother, her grandmother, her mother and then Petersen herself, knew fear and pain in the place they should have felt most safe. But Petersen broke the chain.

"I didn't want my own daughter (now 12) to see this and maybe follow this pattern," Petersen told me last week.

Now Petersen works for New Beginnings' community advocacy program, helping women she understands all too well.

Making the first call, the first move is hard, she says. "It was hard to admit that I was not in control of my relationship. In public, people saw me as strong and it took a lot of courage to tell a stranger that my husband was hurting me."

The escalation was typical. When verbal abuse no longer worked to control her, things turned physical. Finally, one day when Petersen was nursing her baby daughter, her husband pinned her down and she reacted with force. After she pushed him off with her legs and he landed against a wall, she knew the time had come. She called the police and got a restraining order.

Still, Petersen doubts she could have gone further without New Beginnings' advice, support and child care while she searched for a job. "That's why I know how important my work here is now," Petersen said.

Later this summer the King County Coalition Against Domestic Violence will again raise the profile of domestic abuse by giving Take Action Against Domestic Violence Awards to people whose achievements don't usually make it into the news.

It won't be an Oprah-size event. Just ordinary people doing extraordinary work every day on that old back burner.

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New Beginnings' 24-hour crisis line is 206-522-9472; office line is 206-783-4520.

And, to nominate a person or group for a Take Action Against Domestic Violence Award, visit the Web site of the King County Coalition Against Domestic Violence at www.kcccadv.org or call 206-568-5454.