Be spontaneous. Decide to ask your doctor, while you are butterflied
on the table with a paper sheet on your lap, and she is peering at the small
pink mouth of your cervix, whether it is time. Listen to her ask, from very
far away, whether there is any cancer in your family. Drag from memory the
phrase "ductal carcinoma in situ." Tell her your mother had one just last
summer. Keep your mind stiff as a speculum. Stare at the oatmeal-colored tiles
in the ceiling. Refuse to float away on a wave of terror and grief. Say "She
had it out. She's fine now."