October 15, 2007

Turns Out...

As I may have mentioned about a million times once or twice my husband has an injured back/tail bone. It has been a trying 5 days for us, because as it turns out, being a nurse is NOT my calling. Also, it turns out being a patient IS my husband's calling as he has been milking it for all its worth. I have helped him dress, helped him shower, done everything for the kids and around the house, etc. etc. etc. (did I mention he hasn't been cranky at all during this process, ahem?), and on top of it all he wants some sugar. Yeah, that's exactly how I am feeling toward you right now.

His passion is music, and since all he can do is either lie down or sit on his rear, he has been playing his guitar and singing A LOT. Turns out he has decided that he is a rapper. He is not. I think it's the drugs. If I had a dime for every time I have heard, "hey, honey come and listen to this", over the past 5 days I would be one wealthy woman. Here's the thing, I want to like it I really do, and the music is good. He is talented. The rapping, please God make it stop. I'm tempted to withhold the drugs, so he can get over this delusion that he is going to create the next "Slim Shady". However, I fear this would make him even crankier. You can see my dilemma.

This morning, after dropping the kids at school, I returned home to see how the patient was getting along. He was doing relatively well, so while I did some things around the kitchen I asked him to do me a favor and call the gym to see what class started at nine. The call went something like this: "Hi, I was wondering if you have any yoda classes starting soon?" (The call was on speaker phone, my favorite) "Do you mean yoga classes, sir?" Me in background, "no not yoga soon, just what starts at nine today." "Oh, sorry ma'am, just what is starting today at nine, please." "Today at nine, is Hip Hop, cycling, and No Limits." "Thank you, bye." "You just asked them if they have "yoda" classes." "I know I did that on purpose." "What?!" "Yeah, I did it on purpose, I promise, I knew it would get your knickers all in a twist and I thought it would be funny." Oh, yeah, he is screaming toward the sugar as we speak.

Also, btw, I did go to the Hip Hop Class at 9:00am. It was a blast, and even though I am turning 29 (again) tomorrow, I didn't look like a freak. I could actually kind of do it right. There is only one conclusion to be drawn from this, turns out I have mad hip hop skillz. It did bring me to a very interesting moral crossroads, however. The music we are dancing to is none other than the new release from that virtuous, elegant, classy gal Britney Spears. What is even scarier is that I actually kind of like it. Horrors. Oh well, sometimes we have to make a few concessions for our art.