It's June, and that means V-Rag is 4 Years old
this month! I personally want to thank all of
our readers for the last 47 issues for helping
us get to this ripe old age (and it is old for
print media)! To celebrate, we've got a ton of
contests all month long on our Facebook page
(www.facebook.com/vragmagazine) including free books, iTunes gift cards, albums,
digital downloads, DVDs and concert tickets.
And we're giving them all away this month!
Also in June, we've added Toronto to our print
distribution list, meaning you can now pick up
V-Rag in more than 10 different cities across
Canada and the USA. Thanks everyone! V

Publisher

Cover Photo by

Cole Johnston Design

Jonathan Downey

Copy deadline for the July Pride issue is June 28. Ad space is
available until June 30 and can be booked by calling 604831-8179 or emailing cole@v-rag.com. Our rates are available upon request. V-Rag welcomes submissions but accepts
no responsibility for the return of unsolicited materials.

V-Rag Magazine
1535 West Broadway,
PO Box 29141
Vancouver B.C. V6J 1W6
V-Rag is printed monthly by Cole Johnston Design. No part of
this may be reproduced in any form by any means without
prior written consent from the publisher.
All content ÂŠ 2013
Cole Johnston Design.

www.v-rag.com

6
photo by frankie c

by michael
venus

O

n May 17th, in a controversial and
much-criticized move, The Village
Voice laid off Michael Musto after
nearly 30 years writing for the infamous NYC
paper. The legendary gossip columnist and
writer of La Dolce Musto was suddenly part
of the gossip himself. A major personality in
the Global Village, he has seen it all, from the
Warhol days, to the Club Kid era, to the reality
television craze of today. We got a chance to
catch up with our favourite chatter box about
what's going on in his world... And, well, what
the hell happened at The Village Voice.
So... What happened?!
After 28-plus years of service there, I was laid
off, along with a couple of other long-running
staffers. Things seem rather desperate there,
but I wish them well as I move on to greener
(or maybe more lavender) pastures.
How and when did you get started at The
Village Voice?
How I started… I had done some freelance
pieces for them and when there was an
opening for a gossip column in 1984, they
had me submit a sample column by way
of audition. I supplied a swirl of nightlife,
movie premieres, fashion shows, and after
parties, served up with my bon mots, selfdeprecation, and gay rage, and they loved
it. The column grew from a sliver of a thing
in the middle of the paper to a big old thing
right up front—plus I blogged nonstop for
the last five-plus years. I poured my heart
and soul into every marvy moment.
What's the hot gossip in NYC these days?
Everyone’s in an uproar over the bikes that
are being put everywhere for people to
rent. I’m peeved that my own bike riding
talent will now seem less special since
everyone’s doing it, but change is good, and
all the riders will help clear the air in this
town (literally). In nightlife, party empress
Susanne Bartsch has no fewer than four

fabulous events a week, so if you get on her
list, you’re all set! Lots of bike riding to do.
A quick fan question... What was it like
meeting Andy Warhol? Did he give you
any advice?
It was an honour to know one of the great
minds of the century. He was generally
quietly beaming, not exactly unleashing
a torrent of words, but just his presence
validated your event, and a mere “Wow”
from him could change your life. His advice
was always positive and his influence was
always creative and inspirational. Andy
would have gagged over the current proliferation of 15-minute stars. It’s exactly
what he predicted!
Who or what is inspiring you right now?
My last column was a tribute to some of the
downtown performers who stand this city
on its ear with their bracing performances,
and who deserve bigger breaks. They are
singers Bridget Everett, Lady Rizo, and Molly
Pope. And there are so many other creative
artists that make NYC tick: Rob Roth, Amber
Martin, Cole Escola, Murray Hill… I could go
on and on. And I will!
What other adventure are you planning?
Any moment now, I will announce some
new columns and blogs and other features
up my sleeve. I’ll be writing more than
ever, and will be more visible than ever.
Also, I was on the season finale of Smash
and that was so much fun it got me to
think about how I’d love to do more series
TV. Deep down, I want to perform as much
as cover performers. Shine that spotlight!
I’m ready, Hollywood. Are you? V
Michael Musto will be announcing
which sites and blogs he'll be writing for
later this month. Come to V-Rag we say!
www.villagevoice.com/musto
www.twitter.com/mikeymusto

8

photos courtesy of mkw & out tv

T

he House of Venus and MKW Productions are at it again! After a couple of
years on hiatus from the infamous
House of Venus Show, writer/creator Mark

Kenneth Woods brings back the characters we
grew to love in the hit sketch comedy show.
That's right, Deb, Sisi, Liz, and all your favourites
(plus a host of new "faces") are invading OutTV
starting June 3rd at 9pm. Furry Creek is on the
verge of bankruptcy so they decide to hold
a tourism campaign to find the Face of Furry
Creek. Let's get to know the 6 desperate contestants and their even stranger supporters. V

Q: Why Should You Be The Face of Furry Creek?

Chad Chad
This ex-pro snowboarder was born somewhere in
Furry Creek. His mother Charmaine can’t remember where exactly, as the trailer he was born in
was moving at the time. In his spare time, Chad
likes to smoke cookies and eat weeds.
Cause I’m hot brah. The chicks love me
so I know I’m gonna get a lot of votes. Plus I
haven’t been laid in a while since I broke my
wang in that snowboarding
accident. But now it’s fine so
come and get it! Well not you
man, I meant the ladies. I’m not
into dudes, that would be gay. I’m
into muscular, dominant ladies man.
A:

Deborah Dyer
This homely virgin was born right here in Furry Creek
when her “before mom” gave birth to her in a high
school bathroom stall and tried to flush her down
the toilet. Unfortunately, she survived. In her spare
time Deb enjoys collecting scrunchies, reading junk
mail coupons and drinking lukewarm 2% milk.
Well to be honestly realistically realness, I’m
not sure I wanted to enter you. You’re contest I
mean. But since I am, I guess I
could use the money since Sisi
spent all my trust of fun. But
also I’m good at helping people.
Ya, I have a knack for healing umbilical cords that need unbrokening so…
A:

Greg Gresmire-Lipisnki
The articulate 14 year old is the recent recipient of the prestigious Nishi Award in Math,
Science and Technology and will be graduating from Furry Creek High 3 years early. But
his mother Liz would rather he enter more
beauty pageants. For female toddlers.
What an expected and horribly redundant
question. Isn’t it obvious? I’m the only person
in this town with the mental
capacity to deliver a functional
advertising campaign promoting Furry Creek. Plus I need the
monetary prize to get out of this
miserable town.
A:

Q: Why Should You Be The Face of Furry Creek?

Guy Gagnier
This Frenchie moved to Furry Creek to train in snowboard
cross in the region’s mountainous splendour. But his
quest for a gold mental ended when he slid pelvis-first
into his fellow competitor Chad. Since then, Guy has
transitioned into working as a dirty squeegee kid.
A: I think I should be da face of Furry Creek parce-

que I the best athlete that Furry Creek ever had
but I’m not so lucky eh. An accident mean that
I had to wear a diaper for 4
months when I break my junk.
Now I’m running a sexy squeegee business and the squeegee
pole keeps getting stuck in my butt.
Maybe I get the sympathy vote.

Petunia Proudfoot
This 10th generation Furry Creekian’s pedigree founded the
town on Christian values and she strives to uphold those
values today. She feels her hometown is on a slippery
slope toward diversity and it’s time to nip that kind of
acceptance in the bud before homosexuals are running
around in the streets stealing everyone’s babies.
My husband and I believe this town will experience the same fate as Sodom and Gomorrah if we
don’t change our ways. Did you
know that there are already two
non-white people living here? Two.
I am the only one in this heathen
community who can turn this town
around with our Lord’s vengeful guidance.
A:

Sisi Sickles
This 46-year-old mother of none was innocently hit by
fat Deb’s car 2 years ago. Sisi rightfully demanded
compensation in the form of room and board
forever. Sisi likes to drink vodfees (vodka coffees,
duh), call her roommate Deb fat and loiter in
various bushes for some reason.
Sweetie? Do you always ask such idioticy
questions? I mean c’mon here. Just look at me? My
cooch is tighter than the Grand
Canyon. Wait, I don’t think I
talked that right. Whatever. The
point is I need that cash money
for my lithium since that bitch Deb
spent all her trust fun. She’s also fat.
A:

10

Q: What Characteristics Should The Face of Furry Creek Possess?

Brenda Bergman
This Channel 12 news anchor is one of the
hosts of The Face of Furry Creek and is a hit
with our male viewers. Not on TV mind you.
We meant in person. Seriously, the ditzy
harlot has probably slept with every guy
in this town.
Oh my, that’s a question isn’t it? I’m
not really good at those. I’m pretty. But
I think the winner of our
contest is going to have to
be a winner if they want to
win. For Channel 12 in Furry
Creek, I’m Brenda Bergman.
Good night.
A:

Charmaine Chad
“The Wild One” as she likes to call herself, is Chad Chad’s
mother. She got pregnant when she was just a tween
and quit school in 4th grade to take care of her baby
full-time. Now she spends most of her time collecting Furbies and obsessing over Nic Cage.
A: This is bullsh*t! I sent one of them there video

phonecalls messages but how’s come they
didn’t freaking pick me? And man, what I could
do with those winnings. I
mean $25 man! My baby boy
better win though. I need that
money to buy a VHS of National
Treasure 2. Wait, what was the
question? You lying to me?

Freddy Freeland
Yes, he is that Freddy Freeland. The actor from he 2003
Raven-Symoné sitcom Daddy You Be Trippin’ If You Think
You Be Living At My House. He made it in Hollywood 10
years ago but now he’s back in Furry Creek to “Tebow”
about town help out his darling wife Petunia.
The winner needs to be a god-fearing, wholesome person to represent our town with righteous
dignity. I would know dignity, I’m an actor. I would
103% pick Petunia Proudfoot.
And not just because she’s my
wife and she threatened me with
Remington 1100 12 gauge shotgun.
Which she didn’t. And if she did, you
wouldn’t know because I’m an actor.
A:

Q: What Characteristics Should The Face of Furry Creek Possess?

Liz Lipinski
To put it politely, Liz is bat shit crazy. It might be
because she always wanted a daughter and got an
annoyingly articulate son named Greg instead. Or
maybe she is over-medicated or hangs out with
the mayor of Toronto. Who knows? But this addict
loves pageants and saying her son’s name over
and over and over and over and over; Greg.
A: Greg! Ya, my baby Greg. The face of Furry
Creek should be Greg. The
winner should be named
Greg and be called Greg
and be a good girl Greg. Oh
Greeeeeeeeg! Where is he? Did
you see Greg? Are you Greg?

Mario Mancini
This award-winning worthy news anchor for Channel
12 is easily the town’s most curly-haired citizen.
As host of The Face of Furry Creek, the goodlooking broadcaster is not eligible to enter the
contest and instead runs his Mario’s Musings
blog for mean opinions you won’t see on TV.
First and foremost they should be good-looking. Nobody wants a fugly freak as the spokesperson for our town. Having
said that, they can’t be as
painstakingly inept as Brenda
either. So I’d be the perfect candidate actually. But I can’t enter, so
failing that, I’d still pick me.
A:

Yoshi Yonescu
This foreign exchange student is new to Furry Creek. All
the way from Japan (we think), Yoshi is visiting Furry
Creek to better her English skills. When she’s not
hating her host family Liz and Greg, Yoshi can be
found singing about how cute she is and prancing
through the streets in awe of herself.
A: Oh. Maybe they need to be super fun kawaii!

12

Also, maybe have many friends on facelike
and good happy style too.
But, I think that also, maybe
the winner cannot be ugly
like Gregu and, how do you say
hentai? Pervert. Also, maybe I
really really really hate Gregu. V

14

photo by vixen pin up photography

by cole
johnston

T

his! This is our Ho. Born Wendy Jo
Smith, Wendy Ho is one part skilled
singer, one part comedienne, one
part white rapper, and 100% entertainer.
Stealing ladies’ handbags from coat rooms
at parties inspired her track “Bitch, I Stole
Yo Purse!”, which became the #1 Funniest
Video of 2008 on the MTV/LOGO Network, and
was spoofed on FX’s Nip/Tuck with Jennifer
Coolidge playing their version of Wendy Ho.
We got to chat with the Ho'ster about rap,
drag queens and why Ryan Murphy sucks.
How's the tour going so far?
It's going well, I'm at the Rock & Roll Hall of
Fame right now. I'm being inducted [laughs].
Juuuuust kidding...
Damn! If only. So I've gotta ask, how did
Wendy Jo Smith become Wendy Ho?
Welllll, she went to da ghetto chiiiild... And she
fucked a lotta black men... OK no, seriously,
in college for musical theatre I started rapping
and my raps were kinda nasty. So being
Wendy Jo, everyone started calling me Wendy
Ho, and it just kinda stuck. People started
requesting that I rap at parties and stuff and
the word kinda got out. So yeah, then I left
school and I went into the recording studio
and I put out these albums, one of me singing
R&B covers, one of me singing musical
theatre, and one that was a joke, which was
Wendy Ho's Bitch Off a Leash. And that's the
one that everyone wanted! I was like really? I
sing goooood and the one you wanna hear is
me singing about nasty shit? They were like
yeah, that's original, that's your shit. So... this
is the thing that people wanted, and I'm more
than happy to give it to them!
So the character of Wendy Ho comes fairly
naturally to you then?
Yeah but she's not really a character though.
I mean, I do characters but Wendy Ho is
an extension of who I am. And I love being
Wendy Ho, I can do anything that I want. I
don't have to stick to a certain shtick or act
like someone else. So... whateva.

On those lines of acting like someone else,
Jennifer Coolidge did a parody of your act
on an episode of Nip/Tuck. Were you happy
about that or...?
Well... Everybody wants to have their work
acknowledged in a way, but the thing is I'm
not famous enough for people to recognize
that that's a spoof of me. So I guess it's
like being raped and at some point enjoying some of it...
I did wonder why they didn't just get you to
do the role instead of Jennifer Coolidge...
Cuz Ryan Murphy is a star fucker! He's done
it on Glee too, he's stolen from artists. I – I
hate him, I don't like what he stands for,
you know what I mean? I was talking about
Glee with [lowers her tone] some of my gay
friends... and I was like that was some gay,
glittery, watered down mainstream shit. This
is what mainstream gay is. Bitch, you're not
the voice of any people!
Speaking of which, you seem to have a huge
gay following. Why do you think that is?
Oh, because I'm totally a black gay man on
the insiiide... No, I dunno, I've always been
around gays, they love a strong woman with
her femininity in check, you know? I think
that's why we get down. Plus, and I don't
wanna make a sweeping generalization, but
all of my gay friends are fucking hilar-i-ous.
You've done a lot of performances with drag
queens as well. Do you see a connection
between drag and what you're doing?
Sure, I mean basically I'm an artist, and it
was a way for me to get into the gay clubs!
They were all doing my songs anyway, so I
was like if those bitches are gonna make coin
offa my shit, then I'm gonna come to the club
and sing the damn song. You can expect me
to sing my goddamn face off this month. V
Wendy Ho will be singing her goddamn
face off at The Cobalt on June 22nd.
www.wendyho.net
www.facebook.com/wendyhoshow

e may have found crossover fame
as Karen Walker’s diminutive and
acid-tongued nemesis Beverley
Leslie on Will & Grace, but actor-comedian
Leslie Jordan has had a long and varied
career before and since in a variety of
guises. From stage to small screen, he
most recently appeared on the big screen
as Mr. Blackly in the mega-hit The Help. But
perhaps his most interesting – and flat-out
hysterical – works are his one-man, selfpenned stage shows, which draw on the
often jaw-dropping events of his real-life
experiences to paint vivid and side-splitting pictures of a life spent (and misspent)
everywhere, from his native deep-south
to the Hollywood casting-couch to the
inside of a jail cell. This man has stories,
and he’s gonna tell them. Thanks to the
Fillmore Family Foundation, Vancouverites
are soon to be treated to the Canadian
premiere of his new show, Fruit Fly. V-Rag
spent a camp half hour on the phone with
him recently and we have to tell you, the
guy is a southern-drawled gem.
This is your first ever show in Canada?
Yeah, it’s strange because I have done
so much TV and film shooting in Vancouver but never performed there. Well, I’ve
done some speaking engagements; I’m in
recovery and I’ve given talks but never
actually performed. I’ve always loved
Canadians and Vancouverites in particular because there’s a lot of old hippies,
it’s live and let live. I just love that city, I
can’t wait to get back.
Tell us about Fruit Fly...
Well, I was asked to write something original. I said “honey, I’ve been regurgitating
my life for cheap laughs for years, there is
nothin’ left to say”, but I happened to be
home and Mama had found all these old
photographs of me and her. I looked at all
those slides, and I saw a journey of a gay
man and his mother and it just popped.
Usually when I write my shows, I come
up with a collection of funny stories and

my director will spot the themes, like “OK
so all these stories are about fame and
Hollywood, so let’s call this ‘My Trip down
the Pink Carpet’. But with this one, it’s the
first time in my career that I sat down and
wrote something where I already knew
the beginning, the middle, and the end.
I am so proud of this work. It answers
the age old question ‘Do gay men become
their mothers’? It’s fabulous. There’s a lot
going on, there’s music and slides and
stories and tears, and I do everything but
shimmy up a stripper pole.
So how is your relationship with your
mother?
Oh, we fought for years. But I look at my
mother now, and she’s 78 and I’m 58, and
I can’t even imagine what we ever fought
over. We are so much alike. I have identical twin sisters, they are only 22 months
younger than me, and my mother pretty
much left them alone, but she rode me
constantly about my manners. We’re
takin’ supper and a lady walks by, she’ll
kick me right there under the table if I
don’t stand up! I’m 58 years old and I
still ask to be excused from the dinner
table. Right up into my forties, she’d look
me up and down as I’d walk out the door
and say “You gonna wear that?” Suddenly
I’m 14 years old with my thumb up my
butt! I’d say “Mama, I am in my forties,
you’re job is done, why can’t we just be
friends?” Well, I don’t know when the
change happened, but today we adore
one another. I took her on a cruise about
ten years ago and didn’t tell her it was
a gay cruise! To Alaska! She may have
her beliefs and she may be reserved in
many ways but let me tell you honey, two
thousand gay men and women on that
cruise, and by the end of it she was the
undisputed Queen of that boat! She is
very devout in her beliefs, and I have
a spiritual advisor who always tells me
“you know what honey, she does the best
she can with the light that she has to see
with”. And that’s all I can ask.

mansion and invite people to come over
for supper and a chat. All my friends and
people I’ve worked with, like Lily Tomlin
and Octavia Spencer.
You need to pitch that immediately!
I tried! I just had the idea yesterday, and
I got all excited and called my agent and
everyone else and no-one was gettin’
back to me because it was Memorial Day
and I was gettin’ all these ‘out of the
office for the holidays’ messages and I
was gettin’ all mad thinkin’ ‘I need attention right now!’
You’ve had a pretty extensive career what’s the highlight so far?

Lord no, she doesn’t come to any of my
shows, she says I wasn’t raised to get up
there and talk like that! She said to me
“So what’s this new one about?” and I said
“You!” and she laughed and said “Me? Oh
please. What on earth would you say?”

I think I’d have to say my role as Brother
Boy, the Tammy Wynette-fixated drag
queen in the movie Sordid Lives. I love
that people know that! Remember that
scene where I’m escapin’ from the mental
hospital and I have that line “Can you
see my pussy now?!” Well I can’t even
tell you how often that gets shouted to
me in public! I was in London and this
cab driver winds down his window and
hollers (affects mock-British accent) ‘Can
you see my pussy now?’ I’m of Piccadilly
Circus with all these people starin’ at me
and thought “My God I’m an international
star!” I’m gonna write my autobiography
and that’s what it’s gonna be called. The
cover will be me on a chaise-lounge with
a big furry cat.

You grew up in the Deep South, how did
that shape who you are today?

OK, leave us with this: what’s your favourite dirty joke?

Listen, I spent the first 25 years of my life
trying desperately to get out of there, and
the last 25 years trying to find any excuse
to get back home. Yes it’s the Bible Belt,
and no they’re not going to be passing
any gay marriage laws but it is what it
is and it’s a part of my heritage and I do
remember it with such fondness. I can’t
rose-tint it and I never try to, but it’s
home and it’s me. I just had this idea for
a talk show called Company’s Comin’ ‘cos
that’s what Mama always used to say,
“You kids behave, company’s comin’!” I
want to build a l’il ol’ set like a southern

Well now, there’s a woman and a man in a
bar and he decides he just wants to go for
it so he leans over and says “I sure would
like a little pussy” and she looks at him
and says “me too honey, mine’s as big as
a horse collar!” V

Has she seen the show? Does she know
it’s about her?

22

The Fillmore Family Foundation proudly
presents two "straight" nights of Leslie
Jordan's one man show Fruit Fly July 6th
and 7th at the Orpheum Annex.
www.fillmorefamily.ca
www.thelesliejordan.com
www.facebook.com/thelesliejordan

photo by shervin lainez

by lana
chunn

M

eow, Meow a joke turned
nickname for Minneapolis based
adorable indie-pop band Now,
Now is a perfect fit. Something about the
nickname just screams "we are funny and
cute", and they totally are. The trio includes
Cacie Dalager on vocals, guitar and keyboard;
Bradley Hale on drums and backing vocals;
and Jess Abbott on guitar and vocals. I
recently had a chance to catch up with Now,
Now backstage before their show at the
Electric Owl last month, where we chatted
about their music, Vancouver, and what talk
shows they're dying to be on.
How would you describe your music?
Cacie: Mellow pop rock sad.
Jess: I wouldn’t say it’s mellow...
Bradley: It’s pretty guitar-driven right now
and the lyrical content is very sad.
C: Sad Pop.
What is your process for writing?
B: We all have very different tastes in terms
of how we like to write music. We’ll all
sort of come up with ideas and then come
together and battle it out and then it’ll turn
into something that we all like. Eventually. It
takes a lot of energy and compromising but I
think that’s what makes it ours.
You recorded your last album, Threads, in
Vancouver. Aside from recording the album
what did you guys do while you were here?

24

What did you like about living in Vancouver?
B: Eat really good food. The vibe of the town is
really cool because to me it doesn’t feel super
huge but there's still so many fun things to do.
The people are really nice and it’s beautiful.
C: It didn’t feel like a major change from
Minneapolis, but it still felt like a new
environment. But it was comfortable.
B: That’s the thing about Canada, it’s similar
but it still feels kind of foreign in a way.
You were on Jimmy Fallon last year, what
other talk shows would you want to do?
C: I would want to do Jimmy Fallon again
and make up for the last time. I want to
talk to Jimmy so bad and I would be less
shy about it. I would like to do Conan.
There’s no reason for us to ever do this but
I just really want to hang out with Ellen.
J: I want to do Jimmy Kimmel.
B: I want do SNL.
C: Don’t even. That’s like the top of the
top. That would be my ultimate goal.
Where did the cat idea come from?
J: People just started calling us Meow,
Meow a while ago.
C: When we had our full old band it was
Meow, Meow Every Kitten instead of Now,
Now Every Children. V
Now Now's Threads is available now.
www.nownowband.com
www.facebook.com/NowNowMusic

photo by kate mclaren

by velvet steele

W

orking as a sexual health
awareness advocate has
presented me with some
interesting situations. Take for example
the shyness exhibited by so many when
it comes to sex. Hell, even in my younger
years I was no stranger to it.
Remember buying your first “dirty”
magazine? The questions about sex you want
or wanted to ask? Who do you ask and are
you comfortable asking that person, let alone
even asking? What about your first venture
into an adult store? Or making sure all the
curtains are closed and the sound turned
down while you trip on over to your favourite
porn site for a little self pleasuring?
Take my first magazine purchase, done
after I coyly and cautiously made my way
to the back of the store, neatly tucked my
editions of XXX-rated Couples and Inches
between People and Sports Illustrated, and
headed to the cash. People rang through
fine, but Inches? Noooo! Suddenly a price
check was needed and a loud bellowing voice required to ask the second sales
associate from across the store what the
“big dick magazine for men” actually cost.
Really, you had to do that? The price was
right there. Let me make this clear I’ve never
read Sports Illustrated a day in my life!
Simple, humorous examples, yet very
traumatic to those who come from strict
religious, and cultural upbringings. It doesn’t
seem to matter whether I’m lecturing,
advocating or slinging dildos, I'm still introduced to individuals with a certain degree of
shyness when it comes to the topic of sex.
Sometimes they wait until no one is
around and sheepishly come up to me

26

and ask what they need to know. Usually
though, I’m the one breaking the ice and
asking them the questions since I know
just how difficult it is to ask the first one.
And truly what was it like when you
first entered a sex shop? I’ll bet you
scoped out the street to see who was on
it, and when the coast was clear made a
dash for the door. I still have people come
into the shop I work at with sunglasses
on and head scarves fully covering their
faces. They unwrap while in the store,
shop, and cover up again when it comes
time to leave. I often wonder what it is that
is going on in those heads of theirs making
them think and act they way do.
For me it is about empowering folks
to feel good about sex and sexuality and
laugh a little while doing so. I’d rather
see it brought to the front pages of the
newspaper and put death and destruction
towards the back! That in itself is saying
something about how we treat sex and
sexuality in our media.
Think about it, we all need it, and we all
want it, so let’s own it and don’t be shy!
For now I’m off to do a price check in
Aisle 4 on our Hot Lil' Bitch with the warm
and tight grip. V
Velvet Steele is a local sex educator
and advocate in Vancouver.
www.velvetsteele.com

blue is the warmest colour

v/h/s 2

Getting its English title, Blue is the Warmest
Colour, from the source graphic novel Le Bleu
est une couleur chaude by Julie Maroh, La Vie
D’Adèle Chapitres 1 et 2 (its French title) is the
fifth film from director Abdellatif Kechiche.
Chronicling the newfound relationship that the lead character Adèle (Adèle
Exarchopoulos) has with blue-haired Emma
(Lea Seydoux), Blue is the Warmest Colour
is an intimate and intense emotional epic
that recently won the coveted Palme D'or at
the 2013 Cannes Film Festival.
The two leads are completely convincing
in their respective roles, and have no trouble
taking on what many older, more seasoned
actors might consider challenging or risky on
scenes. Already there is Oscar talk about these
two French teens, and it's easy to understand
why with their committed performances of
the love-struck lesbian couple.
The beautiful and natural direction of
the film will also capture your heart, as
Kechiche flawlessly makes the audience
fall in love as Adèle does.
Chapitres 3 et 4 are to be expected next,
true to the continuity of the graphic novel.
Though the ending as it is now works very
well and does not bear upon us a continuation, it does leave the door open a little.
Fans of this first installment will no doubt
eagerly await its sequel; I certainly will.

The original V/H/S horror franchise is built
on the idea that there are an endless number
of strange and bizarre VHS tapes being
traded amongst people for reasons that the
audience have yet to fully understand. This
lays the groundwork for a collection of horror
shorts strung together by a larger arc. Just
like the original, V/H/S 2 opens with a couple
searching a home and finding their stash of
unmarked videos. Curious about the presence
of so many ominous tapes, the couple digs
into the collection, and viewers are given a
POV ride through a terrifying world.
Each "video" feels like it could stand alone
as a short film if the filmmakers so desired,
and in many cases could probably have been
fleshed out into full features. The directors
in this second outing up the ante from the
hot-and-cold original V/H/S and include the
minds behind Hobo With A Shotgun, You're
Next, Macabre, A Horrible Way To Die, and
most notably, The Blair Witch Project. The
latter is an amazing zombie short that flies by
and would work great on its own. The best,
however, is Safe Haven, one of the best horror
shorts of the decade, a piece of "investigative
journalism" gone horribly wrong.
Speaking as a horror fan who knows it’s
not a genre for everyone, I highly encourage
anyone reading this to cancel their evening
plans and watch V/H/S/2. It’s that good.

Greek girly synth duo
Marsheaux finally release
their follow-up album to 2009's
Lumineux Noir. Staying true to
form, the girls don't just flirt
with '80s style synthpop, they
fully embrace and wonderfully recreate the sounds and
moods of their obvious inspirations. Acts like Yaz, Eurythmics, Erasure, Human League,
OMD and early Depeche Mode
are echoed throughout all of
Marsheaux's material, with
the added bonus of having a
fatter and more dancefloorready sound thanks to today's
production. The girls' ethereal
vocal harmonies gently slicing
through pulsating drum beats
and richly layered analogue
synthesizers is a simple but
effective technique that the
duo has clearly mastered.
This album, like their previous
ones, offers a fun, nostalgic
romp through the evolution of electro pop. Still not
convinced? Check out my
personal fave tracks "Alone"
and "End Is A New Start".

Sombear is the beautifully
crafted solo project of indie
band Now, Now’s drummer
Bradley Hale. The recently
dropped "Love You in the Dark"
is the title track off Hale’s
upcoming debut on Death Cab
for Cutie’s label Trans Records.
I wasn’t sure what to
expect when I first heard
the song but within a
couple minutes I knew I
was addicted. The song's
abundance of cool effects,
sultry beats and vocodered
vocals team up to make a
unique and fresh sound.
The best part? The song
is currently streaming and
available for free download
via the blog Consequence of
Sound or Soundcloud.
Although I’ve only heard
two songs from Sombear
so far, (he put out another
epic song called "Incredibly
Still" on Record Store Day) I
can’t wait to hear the full
album, which will be out on
July 23rd. I feel a summer
soundtrack coming on.

I’ve followed Vampire
Weekend since their first
album in 2008. Something
about them whispered “pay
attention”. Four college
guys intelligently mixing
elements of punk, pop, and
tribal sounds was a refreshing thing to hear in a sea of
tired, poorly orchestrated
American Idolatry.
Vampire Weekend is a
true “band of a generation”.
Their third album release is
a mature and fascinating mix
of the first two albums; still
fastpaced and fun, but a little
more reflective, a little deeper.
Alternating between musically
challenging tunes (to illustrate
the band’s growing talents)
and soulful ballads of failed
relationships
(“Hannah
Hunt”) and failing nations
(“Hudson”), Modern Vampires
of the City demonstrates that
the boys of Vampire Weekend
take their music seriously.
Can’t wait for album four, but
in the meantime I’ll consume
this one voraciously.

Inhale
by Mumbles

Love You in the Dark
by Lana Chunn

Modern Vampires of the City
by Matt Roy

photo by sixth spence photography

O

ne of the many reasons I have
generally limited myself to gay
nightclubs is that I have always felt
safe in them. In the past, fights or violence
of any sort in our bars was rare and often
came as a result of outsiders who were not
regulars or members of the community. Lately
I have noticed a disturbing trend of gay men
becoming aggressive, picking fights and even
attacking each other or those around them. I
don't like it. Not one bit.
I like that we have traditionally been
a passive and peaceful people. I like that
reason, forgiveness and "talking things out"
have always won the day over fists, blood
and broken bones. I love that we gay boys
have been generally immune to the pathetic
machismo that always seems to rule over some
of our straight counterpart's bad decisions.
I recently witnessed a young gay man hurl
a beer into the face of someone who had dared
to accidentally bump into them on a dance
floor. This resulted in a brawl that ended when
both parties were thrown to the street bruised
and bloody. A young gay man was recently
sucker punched coming out of the bathroom
at a gay bar. My friend was slapped the other

30

day when a drunk gay man thought he had
called him a "loser" when in fact my friend
was ordering a drink. I myself was threatened
that I better "stay out of it Joan-E or I'll kick
the shit out of you" when I intervened as two
gay guys began a fight on Davie. The guys
(who had never met) felt it warranted beating
each other because, heaven forbid, one of
them barged in front of them in the club and
the other didn't like it. For those wondering,
when presented with this threat to my person
I calmly informed the gentlemen (he of the
kicked shit) that were he to attempt to harm
me in any way, an army of Vancouver's finest
lawyer friends of mine would consider it sport
to litigiously grind his balls against a cheese
grater for the next several years) In all cases,
by the way, the staff and management at the
bars involved behaved impeccably.
I have never understood risking harm to
ones body by fighting someone who's name
you don't even know. I will never understand what fight is possibly worth being
arrested, charged, sued, having a criminal
record, or even serving time for (last time I
looked assault is a criminal offense). And,
I will never understand how violence can
somehow resolve conflict.
Let's be better and let's be cooler! If
drinking or doing drugs makes you violent,
don't do it. If the pills or shots you take to
look more attractive make you unable to
control yourself, don't take them. If you
can't behave like gentlemen, stay home. V
Read more of Joan-E's Rag online at
www.v-rag.com