tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36650952Fri, 31 Jul 2015 12:36:15 +0000BabyWork and JobsPersonalFit of SnarkMommyingToddlerLab PoliticsPregnancyMedicine and HealthLabworkGraduatingPhotosWhiningWomen in sciencefamilyFriday LibraryEducationSmall ChildScientiaeAsk A ScientistMAWWIAGEMovingSmall Town LifeAdviceBirthEditingHome ImprovementsJunk ScienceCareersFriendshipHealthcareScienceAllergy HellAntidepressants and PregnancyMiscellaneousFoodFrom Lab to NurseryRecipesDiscriminationFit of PiquePoliticsChoosing a LabCookingGardeningPovertyReligionWrite It OutAssertiveness TrainingDays I Want My Job BackMoneyNot That You AskedRealistic MentorsResearch On The CheapSewingWHAT???War on F'ing TerrorWinterDrug TrialsGriefOH GOD THE SOUTHProfessoringBook ReviewCheap LabsSo MetaUnsent LettersbreastfeedingA Natural ScientistIn Which I Am Indignant. http://naturalscientist.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.com (Jenny F. Scientist, PhD)Blogger950125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36650952.post-3104728136842177359Fri, 31 Jul 2015 12:00:00 +00002015-07-31T08:00:03.060-04:00BabyMommyingWork and JobsLazy, or: On WorkingI am full of thoughts but never have any time to type on a real computer and &nbsp;between the tiny touch screen keyboard and the inconsistently rogue autocorrect.... it's all an exercise in frustration, is what I'm saying.<br /><br />However. &nbsp;Onward!<br /><br />There is a job opening at Mountain U for someone doing science career stuff. &nbsp;They want someone with an advanced degree, lots of professional contacts, and job experience outside academia. <br /><br />They also want someone full time.<br /><br />I know full well that predicting how I WILL feel in a few to many years is essentially impossible. &nbsp;Will I want a full time job in two years? &nbsp;I don't know. &nbsp;Right now I would say no. &nbsp;I want a part time job for forever. &nbsp;I am lazy, I don't want to work full time, I don't have to work full time, and I'd rather have no job than work full time (however, I haaaaate not having a job and what &nbsp;I really want is part time). <br /><br />I am teaching one lab at Pseudo Military U next semester. &nbsp;In an incomprehensible move, the chair posted the job for this fall in January, when Sweetpea was three weeks old. &nbsp;Clearly he was trying to hire the no-PhD dude who replaced me (state hiring laws would make it difficult to hire the less qualified candidate). &nbsp;So.... what the hell was that? &nbsp;But then he asks me if I'd be interested in teaching a lecture some time. As in a whole class. &nbsp;Again, what the hell was that? &nbsp;In an ideal world I'd be perfectly happy to adjunct a few labs a semester for forever (see: lazy). &nbsp;But... there's no guarantees, because adjuncting plus a What The Hell chair equals confusion. <br /><br />While (standard disclaimer!) I love my kids, I still don't want to be around them <i>all the time</i>. &nbsp;Nobody wants to be around the same people <i>all the time</i>. &nbsp;Sometimes people just want to go to the bathroom alone and have, like, three hours in a row to NOT mediate any he annoyed me/ he hit me/ now we're both waking up the baby. <br /><br />But I'm still too lazy to take a full time job. &nbsp;(By which I mean, I personally find it extremely difficult, tiring, and stressful to juggle two full time jobs, three children, and the inevitable illness and sleeplessness that come along with the children, and we can get by without the income.)<br /><br />http://naturalscientist.blogspot.com/2015/07/lazy-or-on-working.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Jenny F. Scientist, PhD)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36650952.post-40516556651511451Sat, 25 Jul 2015 12:00:00 +00002015-07-25T08:00:05.188-04:00BabyfamilySmall ChildToddlerFamily TripsHave you ever noticed that the more children you have, the more travel becomes like unto packing up a circus, tent and all? &nbsp;I think we might actually haul a crib mattress, a pack and play, two fans, and a tent to my uncle's house. &nbsp;I haven't been there since 2002 and I have absolutely zero memory of where I slept.<br /><br />It always seems like a good idea until you have to start stuffing the minivan!<br /><br />(Still promises to be more fun than the Greatly Tense Wedding of 2015. &nbsp;Did I tell you that due to my scheduling failure, it's on the first day of school? &nbsp;Mother of the year! But also, whatever, it's first grade.)http://naturalscientist.blogspot.com/2015/07/family-trips.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Jenny F. Scientist, PhD)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36650952.post-2006034519773252277Fri, 24 Jul 2015 00:32:00 +00002015-07-23T20:32:11.682-04:00Le MisanthropeMe: "N and I went to this blueberry farm where the guy retired and decided to put in 1000 blueberry bushes! &nbsp;It was GREAT."<br />My dad: "Mmmmm."<br />Me: "You could totally do that when you retire."<br />My dad: "But.... there would be PEOPLE. &nbsp;I would have to TALK to them."<br />Me: "Never mind."http://naturalscientist.blogspot.com/2015/07/le-misanthrope.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Jenny F. Scientist, PhD)6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36650952.post-541099125633239374Tue, 21 Jul 2015 12:00:00 +00002015-07-24T14:13:42.954-04:00Allergy HellBabyMommyingAllergiesOur otherwise very good family doctor said to give "limited" amounts of nuts to the baby before age one. &nbsp;Well, I'd already given her&nbsp;<a href="http://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMoa1414850">peanuts</a>, eggs, &nbsp;and cow dairy, to no ill effects. &nbsp;Also sesame, assorted fruits and &nbsp;veggies, wheat, and corn. &nbsp;Probably soy too though I wasn't really trying. <br /><br />Yesterday I have her a tiny amount of ground cashews.<br /><br />Ten minutes later her eyes swelled up so much she couldn't see out of one of them.<br /><br />Since she was breathing fine, I ran home and gave her a half-dose of benadryl (check with your doctor, naturally, but the dosage I was given was 1.25 mg/kg)*. &nbsp;She threw up twice (before the benadryl, fortunately) &nbsp;She got a terrible itchy rash from head to toe. &nbsp;Her eyes eventually de-puffed, but she still had &nbsp;some classic 'allergic shiners'. &nbsp;This is actually quite worrying- contact dermatitis is one thing but signs of a systemic reaction are much more serious. &nbsp;However, as she continued to breathe fine, I didn't take her anywhere to be observed at painful length, remonstrated with at tedious length, and given benadryl for the baby. &nbsp;Oh, and a $350 bill to boot. <br /><br />Intellectually, I know that my nearly seven month old with very mild eczema had nothing going on to tell me to run away from the tree nuts. &nbsp;Waiting five more months probably wouldn't have prevented this and - based on actual good prospective research- might have made any underlying predispositions worse. <br /><br />I still feel like a terrible mother. <br /><br />Now, if you'll excuse me, I seem to have eaten something unfortunate myself....<br /><br />*<span style="font-size: x-small;">True story: a colleague and his wife once walked into the ER here HOLDING her epi-pen and requested someone help them administer it because they just wanted to make sure they did it right. &nbsp;25 minutes of sitting around later, they did it themselves and walked out, because NOBODY HELPED THEM. &nbsp;(Yes, none of this was a good idea.) So if I'm not having a real emergency, you can bet I stay faaaaarrrrr away.&nbsp;</span>http://naturalscientist.blogspot.com/2015/07/allergies.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Jenny F. Scientist, PhD)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36650952.post-4260119539471405505Thu, 16 Jul 2015 12:45:00 +00002015-07-16T08:45:44.385-04:00And now for something completely different.This week the lovely Nicole visited all the way from the far-off northern wilds of Cold City. It was a timely reminder that even if your family is nuts, at least you can still have the family you choose as part of your life. &nbsp;We picked blueberries! &nbsp;(We nearly drove by it but fortunately the proprietor waved as we were deciding if those bushes off in the distance were berry bushes. &nbsp;It's kind of up a road in the middle of nowhere.) We wandered around town and drank coffee and went to the local gardens/park and mocked the Famous Dead Person Effigy in town and saw a surprisingly good zydeco concert at the library. &nbsp;We made tamales and tested all the Wedding Recipes and I got pruning advice for my friend C's drastically overgrown fruit trees. &nbsp;We harvested onions (and got bitten by ants!) and cooed at the baby a lot. &nbsp;It was great.<br /><br />Now to make the Wedding Recipes and survive the Family Wedding Experience....http://naturalscientist.blogspot.com/2015/07/and-now-for-something-completely.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Jenny F. Scientist, PhD)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36650952.post-1330857938511499233Sun, 05 Jul 2015 23:54:00 +00002015-07-05T19:54:43.515-04:00Dear Sister,Six weeks ago our PARENTS told me you're leaving the country. &nbsp;Since then I called you 20 times and got one lame message back. On the land line. &nbsp;I was, predictably, not home. &nbsp;You didn't tell me when you were leaving, or why, or anything about it , or even if you're coming back for the so-delightful wedding. &nbsp;As far as I can tell, you don't want to talk to me. &nbsp;Maybe you were afraid I'd &nbsp;be mad (I wasn't, though I'm righteously pissed off NOW) or sad or upset (yes). But instead you hid from your choices like a child lying about who knocked over the milk. All your magical thinking won't make this better. &nbsp;Instead, you've left me to conclude that you don't care enough about our relationship to put any effort into keeping it up. Or maybe you just don't trust me enough to tell me important things about your life. &nbsp;Or maybe you've decided I'm not important enough for you to take the time to tell about your life. &nbsp;I know you're at our parents' house doing very little for three weeks and you still can't make the time to call. &nbsp;You can't take the time to say goodbye to my children, who are completely bewildered by your leaving. &nbsp;And I can't think of a single kind way to open this subject with you. &nbsp;Either you're acting like a naive child, or you're trying to hurt me, or you don't care about me in this situation. <br /><br />So good job taking your questionable but legitimate adult decision about your life and turning it into a relationship-destroying disaster. Keep up the good work and you'll save me a fortune in postage and phone calls!<br /><br />-In all seriousness, I kep trying to write her an email and they all come out as "I don't know why you can't be bothered to talk to me your own self but... What the hell? Is this what you want? &nbsp;You want to piss me the hell off and never talk to me again? &nbsp;Do you even give a fuck? &nbsp;I can't tell."http://naturalscientist.blogspot.com/2015/07/dear-sister.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Jenny F. Scientist, PhD)9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36650952.post-5032301958179342372Tue, 30 Jun 2015 14:06:00 +00002015-06-30T10:06:08.548-04:00In Response to My Spouse,who woke me up at 3:11 AM to ask "Do you hear the baby?"<br /><br />How kind of you to ask! &nbsp;In case you were wondering, that is homicidal rage on my face. &nbsp;Also there is furious weeping. &nbsp;YES. &nbsp;Yes, I have already gotten up three times with the baby- who didn't stop nursing until 10:15 and yes, I did try to unhook her - and NO I do NOT want you to wake me up right after I FINALLY manage to sleep through the screaming.<br /><br />(Fortunately he did not wake me up again at 8 when leaving for work, which saves me the trouble of filing for divorce.)<br /><br />(This is why I didn't want another baby. &nbsp;While excellent and adorable in her baby way, Sweetpea does not grasp such important concepts as <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sOA_U3-HOs">bedtime</a>&nbsp;and I do very poorly on a year-and-counting of very little sleep.)http://naturalscientist.blogspot.com/2015/06/in-response-to-my-spouse.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Jenny F. Scientist, PhD)5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36650952.post-4377229114809168669Wed, 24 Jun 2015 12:32:00 +00002015-06-24T08:32:04.315-04:00Scientific TestingOnce in a while, I try some of the foods that are on the Nope list in the hopes that it will get shorter. &nbsp;(Some things have gotten okay- in small quantities- and some have gotten better. &nbsp;I no longer wheeze! &nbsp;I just feel ill!).<br /><br />Last night I tried wheat for the third time in three years. Survey says:<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/nope.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/nope.gif" height="170" width="320" /></a></div><br /><br /><br />http://naturalscientist.blogspot.com/2015/06/scientific-testing.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Jenny F. Scientist, PhD)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36650952.post-1524350850535257413Mon, 22 Jun 2015 19:20:00 +00002015-06-22T15:20:54.698-04:00FMB: While The Children Mostly SleepExtremely Randomly Assorted Thoughts:<br /><br /><br /><ul><li>DEER. &nbsp;Death to the little f!@%ers. &nbsp;They keep eating my plants. &nbsp;My plants are now enclosed in wire cages all across my yard. &nbsp;I live in the city limits (barely) and cannot shoot them. &nbsp;Despite being a pacifist, I would make an exception for these deer (besides, I eat meat).</li><li>Sweetpea is going through A Phase. &nbsp;A sleeping-on-boob phase. &nbsp;She does not want to nap, or fall asleep at night, or do anything but be on or near boobs. &nbsp;This is extremely frustrating and I am very tired.</li><li>Tatoe is kind of learning to go in the&nbsp;f!@%ing potty. &nbsp;We tied his rewards to the light fixture and told him he had to do his business in the potty to earn N stickers to get THIS THING RIGHT HERE. &nbsp;Also there is enforced post-meal potty time. &nbsp;It's... better?</li><li>Speaking of better my mastitis thing seems to be mainly gone, though it still hurts. &nbsp;I continue to give Sweetpea a bottle every day, on the grounds of why mess with success. &nbsp;She likes it. &nbsp;She's also eating a little people food (I didn't <a href="http://kellymom.com/fun/trivia/bf-rates-2004/">exclusively nurse her </a>six months! &nbsp;OH NO! Whatever. &nbsp;Note <a href="http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2015/06/formula_fed_vs_breast_fed_babies_can_we_create_a_better_formula.htmlhttp://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2015/06/formula_fed_vs_breast_fed_babies_can_we_create_a_better_formula.html">Norway's numbers</a>; as <a href="http://scienceofmom.com/tag/starting-solid-foods/">Alice points out</a>, most places give a little food before six months. &nbsp;Screw you, AAP and your dumb recommendations).</li><li>Instead of mastitis I now have a round of <a href="https://www.bcm.edu/healthcare/care-centers/otolaryngology/conditions/eustachian-tube-dysfunction">this</a>, which comes with a my-ear's-exploding headache for the last three weeks.</li><li>My middle sister's wedding continues to increase in intolerability. &nbsp;My youngest sister's childish avoidance of pretty much everything continues to make me both sad and irritated. (She needs a new nickname.) I am still annoyed that I have to go to TWO of my middle sister's awful weddings and she had to go to ZERO of mine. &nbsp;And possibly Sister 3 will not be there? &nbsp;<i>I can only hope.</i></li></ul>http://naturalscientist.blogspot.com/2015/06/fmb-while-children-mostly-sleep.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Jenny F. Scientist, PhD)5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36650952.post-51072403429662404Thu, 18 Jun 2015 12:00:00 +00002015-06-18T08:00:07.069-04:00Not Actually NiceThere's someone here whom I dislike quite intensely. &nbsp;Let's just say she and her spouse have a lot of children and some precarious employment and an addiction problem. &nbsp;But they vote Republican because they're good hard working Americans! &nbsp;Welfare is only for white evangelical people like them! <br /><br />These fine people are expecting another child shortly. &nbsp;(EIGHT!! &nbsp;While I hesitate to impugn anyone's longing for a child, perhaps one might stop at a number one can support?). The spouse has been kicked out of the house for using again and she's trying to solicit $10,000 to buy a car.<br /><br />Well, you know, I'd quite like people to give ME $10,000, too. <br /><br />Of course I did NOT feel moved to contribute. &nbsp;But I did email the lady and ask if she'd like me to bring dinner by, because nobody deserves to go hungry. &nbsp;Her response was no thank you, we're okay for now, but how nice and sweet of you.<br /><br />No. &nbsp;It was not nice. &nbsp;I was offering solely out of my conviction that it was the right thing to do. &nbsp;Acually I feel rather a worm of a human being to be praised for it because none of my feelings about this person could be described as nice. <br /><br />However, I will still bring her dinner after the baby's born. &nbsp; I feel obligated to be more charitable in deed precisely *because* I am less charitable in thought.http://naturalscientist.blogspot.com/2015/06/not-actually-nice.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Jenny F. Scientist, PhD)9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36650952.post-1331089909241310753Tue, 16 Jun 2015 12:36:00 +00002015-06-16T08:36:17.499-04:00People Keep Asking If I'm Enjoying the SummerDear Readers, my sweet children are driving me INSANE. &nbsp;(No. &nbsp;Daily average of four hours screaming.) Also, we were going to have AC put in, but instead we are having some unexpectedly-leaning trees removed, and it is over 80 degrees in my house by 9 every morning. <br /><br />Tatoe is being forcibly potty trained. &nbsp;He will be four in four months. &nbsp;He is perfectly capable of doing his business in the potty- witness the epic battle of wills he had with my mother, wherein he spent three hours in the bathroom NOT pooping in the damn potty, but also tried to poop on the floor four times BUT DIDN'T upon being told he had to go in the potty. &nbsp;He doesn't want to. &nbsp;I have tried EVERYTHING. &nbsp;Bribes, charts, rewards hung from the bathroom light, 'only big boys get to' (practically everything including leave the house), prunes, chocolate, special underwear, sitting on it for the usual pooping hour, pantslessness (this resulted in SIX incidents of me cleaning toddler shit off of practically everything, so NO, unless I get to put him in a <a href="http://www.walmart.com/ip/Iris-8-Panel-Indoor-Outdoor-Pet-Pen-63-Wx63-Lx34H-White-Dogs/15603594">toddler cage</a> first) and all of the above at the same time.... you name it. &nbsp;He doesn't want to.<br /><br />I would let it go except what happens now is, every morning he does his business in his diaper and I have to change all his clothes and give him a BATH. &nbsp;EVERY MORNING. While the baby screams and Bug loses it, usually. &nbsp;This is even worse than the 20 minutes of wailing as Mandatory Potty Time starts. &nbsp;Does it always have to be a choice between bad and worse? &nbsp;Can't we have okay and better, sometimes?<br /><br />I am seriously considering if someone I know will take him and potty train him while I watch their child(ren) for a week. &nbsp;Because I am going to lose. MY. &nbsp;MIND.<br /><br />I know he'll figure this out before he goes to college but SO HELP ME 8 AM is too early to start drinking.http://naturalscientist.blogspot.com/2015/06/people-keep-asking-if-im-enjoying-summer.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Jenny F. Scientist, PhD)8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36650952.post-6709557082554382438Thu, 11 Jun 2015 12:00:00 +00002015-06-11T08:06:16.811-04:00Fit of SnarkMommyingDear new mom I met at LLL,I invited you to our baby playgroup out of kindness because I remember how hard and lonely it is to suddenly go from working full time to a short maternity leave.<br /><br />You took it upon yourself to invite four people - one of whom I dislike intensely, two of whom I barely know, and one of whom 'just isn't okay with the CDC vaccination schedule' to the house of someone YOU don't even know. &nbsp;In addition, thirty seconds' thought would tell you that I have MET these people, and perhaps I didn't invite them ON PURPOSE.<br /><br />It's true that two other moms invited one extra person each- people they know and I don't. &nbsp;It's also true that they invited these people to their OWN homes.<br /><br />Way to get yourself rapidly uninvited to, oh, everything in the future. &nbsp;Learn some manners and a social grace or three.<br /><br />Yours,<br /><br />Don't Write And Don't Call<br /><br /><br />http://naturalscientist.blogspot.com/2015/06/dear-new-mom-i-met-at-lll.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Jenny F. Scientist, PhD)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36650952.post-6898894762620856766Wed, 10 Jun 2015 16:25:00 +00002015-06-10T12:25:15.666-04:00Finally, A Mental Pigeonhole for My Mother-In-Law<div style="color: #111111; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 18px; line-height: 1.8em; margin-bottom: 24px; widows: 1;"><a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/carolyn-hax-controlling-mother-wants-to-call-the-shots-in-daughters-love-life/2015/05/27/78f3fff6-f8db-11e4-a13c-193b1241d51a_story.html">&nbsp;Carolyn Hax</a>,&nbsp;summarizing in two sentences why my MIL is so threatened by my dear spouse's non-negotiable boundary drawing and independence:</div><div style="color: #111111; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 18px; line-height: 1.8em; margin-bottom: 24px; widows: 1;"><br /></div><div style="color: #111111; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 18px; line-height: 1.8em; margin-bottom: 24px; widows: 1;">"It requires two kinds of letting go: on the micro level, where you let go of goofy outfits as kids learn to dress themselves, or of messy kitchens as kids learn to feed themselves; and the macro level, where you accept that your child might not reach adulthood believing what you believe, valuing what you value or doing what you expect.</div><div style="color: #111111; font-family: FranklinITCProLight, HelveticaNeue, 'Helvetica Neue Light', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; widows: 1;"></div><div style="color: #111111; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 18px; line-height: 1.8em; margin-bottom: 24px; widows: 1;">This is what an insecure parent fears most — and that fear is the root of controlling behavior."</div><div style="color: #111111; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 18px; line-height: 1.8em; margin-bottom: 24px; widows: 1;"><br /></div><div style="color: #111111; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 18px; line-height: 1.8em; margin-bottom: 24px; widows: 1;">Just exactly so. &nbsp;He turned out different and different must be wrong. &nbsp;This is exactly why we do NOT get along: I take instant and forceful exception to her controlling behavior, and my instinct is to smash it down twice as hard as necessary. &nbsp;This is also why I don't visit them any more. &nbsp;His parents, his problem.&nbsp;</div>http://naturalscientist.blogspot.com/2015/06/finally-mental-pigeonhole-for-my-mother.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Jenny F. Scientist, PhD)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36650952.post-2920371700361435175Thu, 04 Jun 2015 23:57:00 +00002015-06-04T19:57:59.931-04:00The Gift of Friends and FamilyDear readers, I aten't dead (yet). &nbsp;Though I am close. <br /><br />Fortunately for my sanity, my kind friends have taken me in for lunch and dinner, taken my kids off to play with their kids, watched my sprogs while I gardened (briefly), picked up one kid from school and fed him dinner, and offered to take the three year old. &nbsp;Tomorrow my mother is coming over for a day and a half, which may enable me to bathe the children. &nbsp;And.... put in deer fencing around my fruit! &nbsp;And go weed! &nbsp;And... I don't even know. &nbsp;Clean the kitchen?<br /><br />I'm really, really glad we moved here, where we've made so many fantastic friends, and near family before having the third (I'm still surprised) child. &nbsp;Because otherwise, I would be dead.<br /><br />Last week's decision to start potty training, however, remains ill-advised.http://naturalscientist.blogspot.com/2015/06/the-gift-of-friends-and-family.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Jenny F. Scientist, PhD)7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36650952.post-9158472612584875363Mon, 01 Jun 2015 23:56:00 +00002015-06-02T09:50:02.004-04:00BabyMAWWIAGESmall ChildToddlerFive Minute Blogging : The Gift of Single ParenthoodDr. S is at a conference... for a week. &nbsp;Naturally, I went and stayed with my mama for three days. Also naturally, my children didn't get enough sleep and are crazed tiny weasels. &nbsp;And I managed to pull off at the exit where a tractor trailer had juuuust overturned.... And after being home for three hours, I'd had three hours of children screaming, crying, or both. &nbsp;And I have to do three more days of this, or four if my mom can't make it up here on Friday. &nbsp;And I have to wash the dishes and take out the compost and pack lunches and bathe all three children and put all three children to bed (instead of just the baby) and drop Bug off at school AND pick him up (NONE of which I normally do). &nbsp;And it's forecast to rain all week. <br /><br />While I was at my parents' house, we were talking about wedding planning for my middle sister's second wedding (to someone also celebrating a second wedding) and all the attendant family heartburn. &nbsp;(Do I have to go???? She didn't come to my wedding. &nbsp;Also all my mom's craaaaazy sisters are coming. &nbsp;Also my mom hates the officiant and my future BIL's relatives mainly don't speak English.)<br /><br />&nbsp;And it made me think that, though I was pretty young when I married (24!), Dr. S is a keeper. &nbsp;He really pulls his weight with the kids and with house chores even though he works full time and I don't. I may have been young and stupid, like we all are, but I picked a damn good partner.http://naturalscientist.blogspot.com/2015/06/five-minute-blogging-gift-of-single.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Jenny F. Scientist, PhD)3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36650952.post-5605481632873653037Wed, 27 May 2015 12:00:00 +00002015-05-27T08:00:03.370-04:00BabyFit of SnarkDear Everyone in 2009,I'm sorry. &nbsp;I'm especially sorry if you had non-baby children while I had a baby. &nbsp;Like all people with their first child, I was crazy.* &nbsp;I stopped the car every time the baby cried, instead of evaluating whether 1) it was less than ten minutes to get home and 2) whether the child would fall asleep on the way. &nbsp;I worried endlessly about stupid stuff** and was terrified to let my baby be unhappu, even though usually screaming was the worst that could happen.<br /><br />I am now amply repaid by my local acquaintances who have recently welcomed first children. &nbsp;Dear readers, they are insane. <br /><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: x-small;">*Though I have never been crazy enough to take a 99th percentile four year old child to the doctor because the child had ONE DAY of diarrhea.&nbsp;</span><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;">** Except that time he had pneumonia, when I should have been a tad more worried.</span>http://naturalscientist.blogspot.com/2015/05/dear-everyone-in-2009.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Jenny F. Scientist, PhD)6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36650952.post-6468765942876313770Mon, 25 May 2015 12:00:00 +00002015-05-25T08:00:01.271-04:00BabyGardeningWrite It OutDaily Write It Out: Gardening as TherapyWith regard to my feelings of <a href="http://naturalscientist.blogspot.com/2015/05/daily-write-it-out-running-on-empty.html">trapped misery</a>, I have to say that gardening helps. &nbsp;On good days, when Bug isn't home and Sweetpea consents to sleep Not On Boob, I ignore the mountain of cooking, housework, and other boring adult chores, and go outside with a trowel. &nbsp;Friday I planted two lilacs, a rhubarb, and three thornless blackberries; put down mulch; pickaxed a few stumps out; and sprayed the poison ivy* for the Nth time. &nbsp;Earlier in the week I put in three currant bushes, 100 okra seeds, and some hyacinth beans.** &nbsp;For some reason, this largely irresponsible digging-in-the-dirt makes me feel a great deal better about life. &nbsp;(Probably some combination of sunlight, fresh air, things-that-aren't-children to do, and exercise.)<br /><br />My theory is, therapy would cost me $25 a week (copay + babysitting) whereas $25 a week can buy a LOT of plants. &nbsp;And most of my plants are free! &nbsp;So clearly this is a perfectly reasonable outlet. <br /><br />(Also we have 0.9 acres, and when we moved in there were three scrubby barberries planted in full shade and two scrubby rhododendrons planted in full sun. &nbsp;CLEARLY it needs a lot of gardening.)<br /><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;">* The only thing on which I use nasty herbicides. &nbsp;Dr. S requires steroids when exposed to poison ivy, so... sorry, environment. &nbsp;Everything else gets pickaxed out.</span><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: x-small;">** In addition to our Major Budget Item Landscaping, I've been scrounging plants from <i>everywhere. &nbsp;</i>Friends, neighbors, things growing by the side of the road, brush piles, stuff set out for trash day, things that rooted themselves. &nbsp;Also my dad brings me plants periodically, including two rhubarb crowns and several dozen hot peppers and a bunch of tomatoes. &nbsp;The lilacs were runner-ing into my yard and the blackberries were from the garden I work in with my friend C- they'd escaped into the veggie beds. &nbsp;Bought and rooted the currant cuttings; okra seeds from Experimental Farm Network; hyacinth beans collected last year from the library's garden beds. &nbsp;Dr. S insists that I have a plant problem. &nbsp;I don't see why it's a problem.</span>http://naturalscientist.blogspot.com/2015/05/daily-write-it-out-gardening-as-therapy.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Jenny F. Scientist, PhD)9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36650952.post-3312851270691283790Fri, 22 May 2015 12:00:00 +00002015-05-22T08:00:08.733-04:00Daily Write It Out: Gender and Marriage Equality Not in ActionNobody in my house is screaming! &nbsp;Quick, write faster.<br /><br />A few weeks ago I took Sweetpea to Academic Medical Center in the largest nearby city (small city) about an hour and a half away from here, to be Lactation Helped. &nbsp;(The doctor was very good and we ruled out all kinds of stuff and figured out what was really wrong: my NIPPLE! - actually, just Rightie- is prone to getting plugged up, which leads to <i>all the problems</i>. &nbsp;It wasn't precisely curative, but it was <i>informative</i>.)<br /><br />So AMC is in a big university town, full of hip and cool young people and coffee shops and self-conscious hippie stores and probably a ton of people who don't vaccinate their children. &nbsp;I live in a tiny university town, full of retired people, farmers, and Civil War nuts.<br /><br />The check-in clerk asked the name of the primary insurance holder (Dr. S) and then asked if he was <i>my husband</i>. &nbsp;And, while he is <i>my husband</i>, I was actually kind of offended. &nbsp;While on average, white ladies in the South holding a baby and wearing a wedding ring are probably married to a dude, is it that hard to ask a) if the insurance holder is my <i>spouse</i>&nbsp;or b) ask what my relationship is to that person? &nbsp;(As long as we are all on the damn insurance card, does it MATTER what my relationship is to this person?) &nbsp;Especially in a big university town, where on average there <i>will</i>&nbsp;be many more people with a same-gender partner. &nbsp;Do we have to be so irritatingly heteronormative? &nbsp;Can't the South do <i>a little</i>&nbsp;better?http://naturalscientist.blogspot.com/2015/05/daily-write-it-out-gender-and-marriage.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Jenny F. Scientist, PhD)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36650952.post-596646313650334828Wed, 20 May 2015 01:29:00 +00002015-05-19T21:29:11.898-04:00BabyBoooooored nowDear readers, I would like to solicit book recommendations. I read voraciously and fast, to the tune of 300 books a year (I spend a lot of tie nursing) and... I'm reduced to rereading Gaudy Night for the 67th time right now. &nbsp;An excellent novel, but 67 times...<br /><br />Books and authors I like because I think they are good writers who produce engaging stories: Margery Allingham, Dorothy Sayers, Patrick Rothfuss, Kelly McCullough, Kevin Hearne, Ann Leckie, Marie Brennan, Neil Gaiman (though not his last novel), Robin Hobb (though not the dragon stuff), Lois McMaster Bujold (though not the Sharing Knife stuff), Robin McKinley (though REALLY not the Pegasus stuff), John Scalzi, Ian MacDonald, Ilona Andrews (mostly), Charles Stross, the Anatomist's Wife series, Emma Bull, Wen Spencer, Seanan Macguire, Ruth Downie, some Tim Powers, Benedict Jacka.... You get the idea. <br /><br />Books and authors I like for entertaining fluff: Chloe Neill, Mercedes Lackey, Deanna Raybourn, Diana Gabaldon (in this category for the shark jumping nature of the last one), Kowal, Carrie Vaughn, Kim Harrison....<br /><br />Things I generally find abhorrent or boring: steam punk, violence, Terry Good kind, Shananananara, dear god no more Robert Jordan/ Brandon Sanderson, Orson Scott Card (except Ender's Game which is, you have to admit, super creepy), Modesitt, Thomas Whatever Covenant, most nonfiction, 'paranormal romance', really depressing stories (the last edition of year's best sf nearly did me in), Joe Abercrombie, Laurel Hamilton, &nbsp;Simon Green...<br /><br />So tell me what to read next! &nbsp;I reserve the right to tell you I've already read it though. &nbsp;100 to 150 new books a year times twenty years adds up.<br /><br />http://naturalscientist.blogspot.com/2015/05/boooooored-now.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Jenny F. Scientist, PhD)34tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36650952.post-8675611379034551386Mon, 18 May 2015 12:00:00 +00002015-05-18T08:00:12.124-04:00Fit of SnarkWrite It OutDaily Write It Out: In which my MIL gets on my very last nerveSo I've never really gotten along with my egocentric, toddler tantruming, whiny, entitled in-laws. &nbsp;Neither does my dear spouse. &nbsp;And they've always played favorites because Dr. S doesn't play along with their inconsiderate and coercive games. They disrespect every boundary we have. &nbsp; They have spent the last ten years being rude and disrespectful, and throwing a tantrum every time Dr. S and I establish reasonable adult boundaries (no, a one year old cannot go to dinner at 7 pm; no, the tantruming child does not get ice cream; no, we cannot drive ten hours with a nursing baby but you're welcome to come here, retired people). They have a chronic inability to get that dairy could actually send me to the hospital and are always insisting in going out for a cheeseburger (while I either stay home or starve- in my cosmos, not feeding people is a cardinal sin). They drove down to Alabama for BIL's pilot graduation, but here is 'too far'. The only good thing is that it is Dr. S's job to enforce boundaries and he does with extreme prejudice. &nbsp;They visit once every year or two; I go along with it because I don't want to cut my boys off from them- for the children's sake. &nbsp;I mean, one day they'll be gone and I don't want to have to explain why I never let them see grandma and grandpa. <br /><br />My parents are wonderful, helpful, and reasonable, and only drive us nuts about once a year. &nbsp;They also understand that dinner is 5:30<br /><br /><br />So my SIL, who is delightful, is pregnant. &nbsp;Just a little pregnant. &nbsp;After many years of infertility, and I'm genuinely delighted. &nbsp;I very much hope they'll be holding a screaming baby in January. <br /><br />My MIL has not bothered to come see Sweetpea, her only granddaughter and the third of her three grandchildren (the astute reader will note that I have three kids). But she is already planning to FLY TO KOREA in January. <br /><br />No, dear, I DON'T think you should take the kids to see them in August after all.<br /><br />http://naturalscientist.blogspot.com/2015/05/daily-write-it-out-in-which-my-mil-gets.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Jenny F. Scientist, PhD)5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36650952.post-5863830792522771921Sun, 17 May 2015 12:00:00 +00002015-05-17T08:00:00.056-04:00BabyWrite It OutDaily Write It Out: Running on EmptyOne of my huge sources of frustration with.... everything... is the current complete lack of time/opportunity to do all the things that make me feel like a functional human. &nbsp;I need to get exercise. &nbsp;I need an hour at the end of the day, with no children in it. &nbsp;I need to get outside and garden. I need time and energy to clean up the house sometimes because my spouse is afflicted with can't-put-it-away-itis. &nbsp;I need to have time and energy to give to my older children, who otherwise are super extra horrible. &nbsp;I need to spend less time &nbsp;nursing the baby. <br /><br />With all this and the lack of sleep, I feel like the tank has run dry. &nbsp;Dr. S does what he can, but he can't feed the baby (yet, though she &nbsp;will drink a little from a bottle now) and the to-do list is endless. <br /><br />Of course Dr. S might also benefit from doing something that's not dishes, mowing, or child-wrangling. &nbsp;I'm thinking we need a weekly family outing to the local brewery or something (they don't have a restaurant license so we bring cheese sandwiches and pickles for the boys, and once, a gloriously delicious kosher &nbsp;sausage with homemade sauerkraut). &nbsp;And I need to work out some kind of summer schedule for the boys. &nbsp;Mondays at Local Gardens! &nbsp;Tuesdays at the park! &nbsp;Rainy days at the... hmm, don't know. And I need to find some kind of kid swap, though this is pretty hard with three and one a baby. &nbsp;And I need to go to the gym. &nbsp;And before any of this Sweetpea needs to drink more than two ounces of bottle at a time....http://naturalscientist.blogspot.com/2015/05/daily-write-it-out-running-on-empty.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Jenny F. Scientist, PhD)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36650952.post-7529113411778587295Fri, 15 May 2015 12:00:00 +00002015-05-15T08:00:05.352-04:00BabybreastfeedingWrite It OutDaily Write It Out: NursingIt's surprisingly hard to produce readable English on a tablet. &nbsp;But, you know, I need to write to retain my sanity. &nbsp;So forgive us our linguistic trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.<br /><br />I feel most amazingly trapped. &nbsp;In large part by breastfeeding, which prevents me from, say, gardening, or going to the gym, or knitting, or going to knitting, or... you get the idea. &nbsp;I know that this too shall pass, but if people would stop telling me I'll miss it, I'd be grateful. <br /><br />In related news, Sweetpea has consented to take a bottle three! whole! times! &nbsp;In retrospect, however, right after she rolled over the first time (and was consequently in a righteous fury) was not the best time for today's bottle. &nbsp;So far, so goaty. (Not a typo; <a href="http://www.mtcapra.com/homemade-goat-milk-formula-2-0/">this</a>. &nbsp;Due to my cow dairy allergy and her eczema I was hesitant to give her cow or soy yet.)<br /><br />Because I'm a terrible mother, I also gave her a little banana today at 4.5 months. &nbsp;She loved it, and I was getting tired of the piteous crying every time she smelled food. <br /><br />This may be a product of my trapped depressed feeling like nobody listens to me and my mommying work has no value to me.... but I kind of want to become a lactation consultant. &nbsp;It would take me at least eight years, I estimate, since this would be a seriously part time endeavor. &nbsp;It's somewhat problematic that the main route now is as a LLL leader, since I'm cruelly weaning my baby (slowly) with a complete disregard for how I should be a miserable milk machine for her sake until next December. &nbsp;How dare I prioritize my own needs? &nbsp;Nonetheless. &nbsp;This is born in part from the feeling that there should be more LCs in the world who say 'It's okay to wean your baby. &nbsp;It's okay to hate nursing or even just dislike it. It's okay to NOT nurse your toddler on demand if you don't want. &nbsp;Nursing does not have to be a magical bonding experience. All that HAS to happen is your baby HAS to be fed something. &nbsp;Breastmilk probably has <a href="http://www.fearlessformulafeeder.com/category/research/">minimal real benefits</a>. &nbsp;If you want to breastfeed I will do my best to help, support, and educate you, but if you choose not to, or to add in formula, I will also help, support, and educate you. &nbsp;And I will try to help you feel good and not guilty about your choices because breast is not always best.' And it is also born of the feeling that I have never met a LC - except my doctor in Cold State- who actually said those words to me. &nbsp;(In fact she said something like, a chronic infection with severe pain is a medically indicated and completely reasonable reason to wean your child, and I will help you as best I can until you are ready to wean him. &nbsp;So good for her.)http://naturalscientist.blogspot.com/2015/05/daily-write-it-out-nursing.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Jenny F. Scientist, PhD)14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36650952.post-7353531220370857216Thu, 14 May 2015 12:00:00 +00002015-05-14T08:00:12.531-04:00MAWWIAGEOH GOD THE SOUTHSerious ConversationsDr. S: &nbsp;"There's something we need to talk about..... but I don't know if now's a good time?"<br />Me: "What, about the construction? &nbsp;Our bank accounts? &nbsp;Bills?"<br />Dr. S: "Well... no. &nbsp;I know you won't like to hear this but...."<br /><br />(I anticipate some dreadful thing incoming...)<br /><br />"... I found a two inch long <a href="http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wolf_spider">wolf spider</a>&nbsp;in Bug's water shoes* and you might want to shake them out before he puts them on...."<br /><br />Me: ." AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA SPIDERS I HATE SPIDERS AAAAAAAAAA"<br /><br />Dr. S: "Yeah, that what I figured you'd say."<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;">*A creek runs through our front yard. &nbsp;A nice shallow creek. &nbsp;The boys play in it almost every day!</span>http://naturalscientist.blogspot.com/2015/05/serious-conversations.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Jenny F. Scientist, PhD)5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36650952.post-5726633042159566006Tue, 12 May 2015 12:10:00 +00002015-05-12T08:10:19.713-04:00BabyMedicine and HealthIrony, double helping1. &nbsp;I finally worked through my guilt and reluctance and worry over giving Sweet pea formula, mixed her up a nice warm bottle... and she spat it out and cried. &nbsp;We have now tried six different kinds of bottles and three people. &nbsp;I have two very damp, milk-flavored towels, and no formula in the baby.<br /><br />2. &nbsp;I wish to not breastfeed because of severe pain, but have excellent supply and a 15 pound four month old. &nbsp;My nearby friend with a little baby wishes to breastfeed, by has a low supply. http://naturalscientist.blogspot.com/2015/05/irony-double-helping.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Jenny F. Scientist, PhD)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36650952.post-2399545125075782339Fri, 08 May 2015 18:36:00 +00002015-05-13T20:50:47.417-04:00BabyMommyingWhiningFUCKING DEPRESSED: A Pie ChartFollowing Bunny's excellent example, I present to you: Reasons I Am Depressed. &nbsp;If you don't want to hear a lot of whining, <a href="http://wtfevolution.tumblr.com/">go read this</a> instead<br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-UQcAV5sq-kk/VUy1TPs1SoI/AAAAAAAAAXU/Wuo0cbV3xtI/s1600/misery.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-UQcAV5sq-kk/VUy1TPs1SoI/AAAAAAAAAXU/Wuo0cbV3xtI/s400/misery.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><br /><br />1: No sleep. &nbsp;Because of so many reasons. &nbsp;Mainly that the baby wants to nurse - and nurse and nurse and nurse- until 10, and again at 12 or 1 or 2 for at least an hour, and then my herd of little elephants thunders across the bedroom ceiling at 6:30 promptly. &nbsp;Of course, some days the baby gets up for the day at 5:30! &nbsp;Yes, I have tried putting her to bed later; no, nothing makes any damn difference because she is a BABY. &nbsp;One day I will sleep train her but she's too little still. &nbsp;Damn it.<br /><br />2: Because I am always nursing the baby, the boys are left to play upstairs. &nbsp;The big one likes to hold the little one down and punch him, bite him, and leave bleeding scratches on him. &nbsp;This causes me RAGE. &nbsp;Seriously, I can't leave them for five minutes. &nbsp;Bug walks in the door from school and starts hitting his brother.<br /><br />3: All the accursed nursing problems in the whole world. &nbsp;Ordering the which to make goat milk formula today, I think. The expense makes me grit my teeth, but then again I've spent &nbsp;$350 at least so far on all the accursed nursing problems. &nbsp;Readers, never let anyone tell you breastfeeding is always free.<br /><br />4: Always nursing! Cannot put the baby down and go mediate! &nbsp;Cannot do any adult thing! &nbsp;Always nursing!<br /><br />5: Larger children feel neglected and so are SUPER EXTRA AWFUL ALL THE TIME which makes me not <i>want</i>&nbsp;to put the baby down and go mediate. &nbsp;Tatoe screamed at me for two hours yesterday, and whined for another two, which is impressive considering we were only in the house and awake together for four hours. &nbsp;Also, they woke up the baby four times yesterday. &nbsp;Then <i>she</i> screamed at me for hours. &nbsp;Then I want to die.<br /><br />6: I am tired of all this. &nbsp;Four months seems like FOREVER.<br /><br />7: (I feel the need to say that he gets up early with the big kids, washes them, puts them to bed, and does the dishes every single night. However...) My dear spouse feels the need to work nine hours every single day. &nbsp;Even when I want to <strike>murder the children</strike>&nbsp;gag the big ones, get in the car, drive away, and never come back. &nbsp;Also, he gets to SLEEP. &nbsp;He does not ever get woken up at two-hour intervals. &nbsp;And then he sometimes he has the gall to complain he's tired. &nbsp;Honey, I don't fucking care.<br /><br />8: See above, all wrapped into one giant package of longing and financial disadvantage. &nbsp;It's GREAT!http://naturalscientist.blogspot.com/2015/05/fucking-depressed-pie-chart.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Jenny F. Scientist, PhD)7