Here The Bleep We Are, Rex

September 15, 2016 1:45 PM

Rex Ryan and Rob Ryan (Photo by Patrick Smith/Getty Images)

The Bills are hosting the Jets tonight in a massive game for Rex Ryan. And if I had to guess as to how the pre-game pep talk would go, I’d assume there will be plenty of yelling and plenty of f-bombs. Actually, I don’t have to guess. I can just go to the tape.

The Bills were shooting a documentary throughout training camp called documentary “Rex And Rob Reunited” and the clips are exactly what you’d expect Rex and Rob rolling around town in Rex’s pickup with the custom paint job. And of course, the same old Rex shtick – big man talking big and cursing bigger. Dropping lines like: “Here we are. Here the BLEEP we are!”

Yes. Here the bleep you are. 0-1 and facing a must-win game at home in Week 2. And so much for the idea that Rex isn’t aware of the fact that he’s coaching for his job this year. He knows that and was saying as much back in training camp, telling the team that he has a “massive chip on my shoulder” because of all the heat took for going 8-8 last year. “Everything’s questioned. I forgot how to bleeping coach. ‘The players don’t respond to Rex, he don’t know what the bleep he’s doing anymore.'”

I don’t know if he knows what the bleep he’s doing, but he definitely knows what the bleep everyone’s saying. And he’s got a plan.

“The best revenge is MASSIVE success.”

You’ve got to give it to the big fella – he may not be a great head coach, but he’s a great quote. If you need to win a game, there are a dozen coaches better than him. But if you need someone to drop an f-bomb or yell irrationally about how good his team is, Rex is your guy. Doesn’t always deliver a game plan, but he knows how to deliver a speech.

Like this gem from training camp: “Do we have work to do? You’re goddamn right we got a s—load of work to do to get there. But aren’t we the guys for the f—— job?”

Actually, about that, Rex. Not sure that a whole lot of people believe you are the guys for the job, but I’ll be damned if it isn’t entertaining hearing you talk about it. And sure, it’s the same old Rex shtick, ranting about how his team is the best. “I’m going to tell you we’re the bleeping best because I believe it. Let me bleeping say it. And if it doesn’t work, I’ll be the first motherbleeper that goes. And everyone one of you, I bleeping know you’ve got my back. All I want is every bleeping thing you got. I’ll take every bleeping bullet known to man.”

I don’t know how effective it is or how quickly it stops working on players, but I do know there’s no denying the stakes. Even Rex himself knows the stakes tonight. He knew them back in camp. He can’t afford to lose to a Jets team that he used to coach, that dumped him, and that Buffalo has beaten five straight times. Lose tonight, in the home opener, to the Bills old quarterback, and you will be taking every bleeping metaphorical bullet known to man.

I’m not going to say it all comes down to beating the Jets tonight, because winning doesn’t mean they’re going to the Super Bowl. But losing pretty much guarantees they won’t. This is a must-win game for Rex. Tonight. 8pm ET.