Eve is a sandbox, and we are the meddlesome toddlers who take your favorite toy when you’re not looking

April Showers

For various reasons, April has been a tough Eve-month for me. RL responsibilities, and what feels like a tripled work-load (albeit self-inflicted) took a pretty heavy toll on my play-time this month. So logging in and doing some dedicated ninjaing and ganking came pretty sporadically for me, as my meager 15-kill contribution to the KB this month can attest to.

So, here I am at the end of the month without too many fun stories or jaw-dropping killmails of my own. But, being the CEO of Eve’s premier ninja-salvaging and tear-harvesting alliance, I thought instead I’d share some of the awesome exploits and triumphs of the some of the other guys in TEARS.

Ca$h Money Kill$:

Urkal, of the TEARS corp Sect Or, has garnered himself a reputation for managing to find and kill the most blinged-out, shiny mission-bears in New Eden. One-upping himself again this month, he knocks down this 1.9 BILLION isk CNR. On top of that, pretty much everything of value drops. You’ve gotta respect the 1.4 bil isk loot drop.

“Meccros is the new black” – Velocity Prime. Proving that Tengus, even ridiculously faction-fit ones, are not invincible, Meccros pops this 1.8 bil isk T3 with a Hurricane. Ouch baby.

When Crime Pays:

What happens when 5 ninjas get bored, trigger-happy, and find themselves with 5 disposable battleships? Sheer wanton Kronos destruction, thats what happens. Not the best loot in the world, and pretty much zero tears, but I have to say, this was just plain hilarious, as you can imagine insta-popping a marauder would be.

Herr Wilkus, TEARS’s money-laundering investment wiz, is also a world-class destroyer of Hulks. To post them all would be gratuitous, but suffice it to say, he bags about 10 a month. Should you suddenly find yourself in a pod next to the wreck of your former Hulk with Wilkus’s flashing red pod laughing at you, you should check your Eve-mail for his standard “protection fee” form. After reading said-form, you should probably go ahead and pay the 200 mil fee. This is TEARS-guaranteed to protect you from future ganks, and I can assure you that failure to pay WILL result in Wilkus finding and popping your next Hulk.

Wilkus has also lead a few very successful gate-ganking parties this month. A couple of the highlights:

Solomar takes a wack at an Itty V which drops a Mackinaw and other goodies.

Solomar and Kasey Elle drop a Hoarder which nets a medium Minmatar Control Tower, and a fun assortment of BPOs and BPCs (KB is bad at distinguishing between the two)

Lazy Eyeh wins comedy points for killing another Hoarder which drops no less than 611 hobgoblin IIs.

Pure Comedy:

Some killmails are just so awesome, or just plain silly, that you just have to laugh:

My personal favorite kill of the month: Tenric Norrak smacks down a mission-bearon his birthday. I honestly can’t stop laughing about this one ;).

Other Mentions:

A bit belated, but I’ve bestowed the much-coveted and rare TEARS “Bringer of War” medal to SN’s own Cpt Clueless for instigating the one-man war-dec earlier this month by angry French Canadian bear Ijifrr. The “Bringer or War” medal is given exclusively to those brave Ninjas who, through their own selflessness and sheer determination, cause the escalation of average tears and threats into a full-fledged declaration of war upon TEARS. Well done sir.

Galmarr, also of SN, celebrated his 1-year Eve birthday (most of which has been spent in the ninjas) yesterday. I killed a Drake in his honor, and he celebrated by popping a Drake and a Domi. Happy Birthday man, glad you’re with us.

My one piece of personal news this month is with the completion of Minmatar Battleships IV, I’ve crossed the 20 million skillpoints mark. Word.

Here’s to hopefully more Eve-time in May.

o7,
-Aiden

P.S. The Suddenly Ninjas April “Best Carebear Tears” Competition ends tonight at midnight, so I’ll be going through them and selecting a winner by tomorrow. Naturally, those prize-winning tears will be paraded around this blog soon thereafter so don’t touch that dial, there are some exquisite tears this month…

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