Right-wing US columnist Ann Coulter reckons that the country’s growing interest in the sport represents a form of “moral decay”. The weirdo. Last night, Tim Howard showed her exactly what a nonsense that is...

2. The hands and the beard

Ann Coulter says: “You can't use your hands in soccer. What sets man apart from the lesser beasts, besides a soul, is that we have opposable thumbs. Our hands can hold things. Here's a great idea: Let's create a game where you're not allowed to use them!”

Tim made a huge number of saves last night, and we are pretty darn sure he was using his hands.

Plus, what THAT beard, Tim is single-handedly blurring the line between man and beast.

3. The MVP

“Do they even have MVPs in soccer?” asks Ann.

Why yes, Ann, yes they do, and last night Tim Howard won the Man of the Match award for facing 27 shots on target and carrying USA’s tired defense on his epic broad shoulders. To the extent that somebody wanted him charge of all of your defense.