Wednesday, August 28, 2013

A New Line of Questioning

For the first time I mentioned my new girlfriend in a presentation yesterday. This felt odd since, for 400 presentations, the only thing I've had to tell about relationships is the fact that I broke up with my only girlfriend on Christmas via text message. Obviously not the best of stories in terms of a healthy relationship, but I did mention my new girlfriend yesterday and all of a sudden the questions at the end were different.

My favorite part of presentations has to be the questions segment at the end. Usually the questions remain in the same area but every so often there will be a new one that really makes me think. Yesterday, though, those in the audience were really interested about my new girlfriend to which I wasn't really prepared on answering, and there were some really good questions such as, "Looking back on your previous relationship what do you think you've learned that will help with this one?"

The other thing about the answers segment of the questions is that I don't really remember what I say and I don't know what I responded with yesterday. Thinking about it now I don't know how I will respond in the future because I have no issues talking about what was but talking about something that is current feels completely different as I don't want to say the wrong thing. Does that makes sense? It's one thing to talk about a relationship that ended almost a decade ago but to talk about something in the now feels different.

This is something I'm going to have to weigh in the future because I know my current relationship will become the new center of attention in the questions and I just don't know how I feel about that. I'll also have to ask my girlfriend if she is okay with the fact that there are going to be some very curious people about us and if she's aware of Aspergers, and if she knows of my previous relationship, and where we met, and any of 1,000 questions. I love new questions, but I don't know how I feel about this.

4 comments:

I think it's wise to keep your new relationship private. It's ok to tell people that you'd rather keep your personal life to yourself, they'll understand. Relationships are complicated enough without including public opinion.

At this point, since your relationship is still fairly new, I'd probably approach it in very general terms, keeping details to a minimum. It's not so much that people are trying to trip you up or find out some juicy details of your personal life, but you already know how you react to the unexpected and you should probably have some routine answers ready for these types of questions.

And yes, absolutely talk with her about the fact that she's coming up in your talks now, even if they are in very broad terms. The last thing you want is for her to find out from someone else.

I think it's interesting that, all of a sudden, people want to hear more about your personal life. It kind of speaks to human nature, more than your talks specifically. Many people feel they make a closer connection with a speaker if they can relate something from their own life to yours. So, prepare yourself and I think you'll be able to handle this new line of questioning with aplomb.

People are highly interested in my personal life since the beginning of presenting. Ask around the office and you'll hear the story when I led a presentation and left and the person who followed, when she tried to present her presentation, was constantly interrupted by questions regarding my former girlfriend and such.

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