Jim Carrey once said that behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

And there's plenty to roll our eyes at in incredible new book called Man Fail - a compilation of real-life stories of extreme male stupidity.

From hapless hubbies to crass criminals, Marion Appleby reveals some of the most idiotic men ever...

Spyed and groom

A WEDDING ended in disaster this summer when the groom was spotted having sex with a waitress at his own reception.

He was caught in the act by his new father-in-law, who immediately ordered guests to leave the no-longerhappy occasion in Feldkirch, Austria.

But the poor bride had to wait six months before she could divorce her philandering new husband in accordance with Austrian law.

ClueTube

ANDREW Kellet was branded Britain's Dumbest Criminal after posting 80 videos of himself on YouTube engaged in illegal activities.

Clips included one of him driving off from a petrol station without paying at 140mph - he helpfully filmed the car's speedometer - and another of him taking drugs.

In 2008 the Leeds magistrate dealing with his case said: "He handed us the evidence against him on a plate.

"If more criminals were as obliging, the city would be even safer."

Mask of sorrow

CLUELESS crooks Matthew McNelly and Joey Miller decided to do away with traditional disguises when they set out to raid an apartment in October 2009.

Instead they decided to mask their appearance by scribbling on their skin with a black marker pen.

But the pen ran out and they could only obscure part of their faces.

They were, of course, very easy to track down and were later charged with the burglary.

"The black faces gave them right away," said Iowa police chief Jeff Cayler.

"I have to assume the officers were kind of laughing at the time."

Heart at-tack

NIGEL Kirk forgot to obey the first rule of using a nail gun - remove all obstacles first.

In the middle of a tricky floorboarding job, the Staffordshire man slipped on a towel and fired a 5cm nail straight into his heart.

Astonishingly, he didn't realise what he'd done until he tried to take off his jumper but couldn't because the nail was pinning it to his chest.

One ambulance and a three-hour op later, medical staff revealed he'd missed an artery by millimetres.

Diamond breezer

IN 2008, hopeless romantic Lefkos Hajji decided to ask his girlfriend to marry him by hiding a £6,000 diamond ring in a helium balloon. No sooner had the Londoner got the florist to place the ring inside than a gust of wind blew the balloon away.

Hajji frantically chased the runaway sparkler in his car for two hours - but in vain.

The florist said: "I thought that he was taking a risk. I said, 'I hope you hold on to it'."

(Image: Getty)

..I thee fed

HIDING an engagement ring in your future fiancee's food is not the best of ideas, as one poor Chinese chap found to his cost.

He secreted a £500 ring in a muffin - which his girlfriend promptly ate.

Doctors had to perform endoscopic surgery to remove the item.

The lovestruck fool admitted: "I'm not sure she will ever feel very comfortable wearing it."

(Image: Getty)

My bet-ter half

IT'S generally advised that a person should not bet more than he can afford to lose - a rule Andrei Karpov, from Murmansk, Russia, ignored when he put up his wife Tatania as a stake in a card game.

Unfortunately he lost, and when his opponent Sergey Brodov later turned up to claim his winnings, Karpov's wife was so angry she divorced her husband.

In an ironic twist, she chose Brodov as her second husband. "I am very happy with him," she said. "Even if he did 'win' me in a poker game."

Cast iron excuse

A MAN of 29 pulled a gun on his mother when she refused to do his ironing for him.

Police were called to the house in Georgia, USA, after she managed to escape following six hours of imprisonment. Her son told police that he had done it because ironing was "woman's work".

Nine, nine, ninny

HUBERT Lee Credit needed medical attention after being beaten up last December - but instead of ringing for an ambulance he decided to steal one instead.

Florida police tracked it down using a GPS device in the vehicle, and nd arrested him.

Credit, 39, said: "I saw the ambulance, and I was going to drive myself to the hospital."

Hard times

A MAN was left with a permanent erection after having the words "Borow be salaamat" or "Good luck with your journeys" tattooed on his penis in Iran.