I'm a seasoned blogger who writes about Judaism, religion, ethnicity, race and the intersection of it all on my blog, www.blackgayjewish.com. The V-Word is about food. Healty food, kosher food, tasty food, forbidden food...with a veggie twist, maybe.

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Erika vs. The Scale

The scale and I have had a hate-hate relationship since I can remember. I don't weigh myself and have avoided owning a scale for at least a decade. Even at my smallest, a size zero, medical charts deemed me heavy for my height and suggested that I lose at least 15lbs to come in line with my proper height and weight.

As I grew older and the number continued to rise I realized that for me it's not about the numbers on the scale, but the number of my clothing. How I felt more than how much I weighed became my mantra. Still, every time I went for a physical (the last one being six years ago) I'd have to climb on the scale and read the number. It was never pretty.

So it's been six years since I stepped on a scale and I was perfectly content with not knowing what it read...until the other day when I accidentally stepped on a dog scale at work. I was so shocked by the number that two things immediately rushed into my head:

1.This is why I don't fucking own a scale
2.Is this even right or is this what I weigh in "dog"

I planned on being completely transparent, but sharing that number is a bit much. It's been flashing in my head since last Thursday when it happened and I've been doing everything in my power to try and let it go. Maybe if I accidentally step on it again in a few months and it says something reasonable I'll share but for now you'll get this number with the real number hidden, like a puzzle.

2 comments:

I weigh myself often but when I go to the doctor's office I ask them not to tell me my weight. So far, they haven't. It just messes with my head since scales are diffrent, I may be wearing 3 layers of clothes, shoes, etc.

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About Me

Thanks for visiting my site! My name is Erika and I'm a full-spectrum, holistic doula living, working and loving in Brooklyn, NY.
When I'm not doula-ing, I'm making homemade products for Mamas and babes in my kitchen, knitting or doing yoga.
I'm a Jewish diversity advocate and have written and spoken at a variety of publications and events. I also maintain a personal blog about being a black, gay Jew.