in a state of continuous evolution

I was never that into Spike. Or Angel, for that matter. My favorite 'version' of Spike was S7 Spike and it took about four years of Angel for me to get really attached to Angel. In the Jossverse, my sympathies tended to lie pretty firmly with the humans.

Also, I went through the Pride parade on the way to my dad's this Sunday. God, I felt like leaping out of the MAX and watching that, instead. I need to try to do Pride next year, because I really want to go.

Side note: one of the things that I see, in pro movie reviews, are 'compare and contrast's that are about saying one thing is better than another. Most recently, several reviews of Serenity are saying 'so much better than the new Star Wars' flicks. This is a mindset that I can somewhat understand, but one that I most emphatically don't share. It seems to be based off of the zero-sum game -- the idea that love and appreciation are finite and that to love one thing diminishes the amount of love that one can hold for another, similar, thing.

Now, I only live in my own head, but for me, love is not a zero-sum game. Love is infinite, and I have found that loving new things only increases my appreciation for the things that I loved already. Ex. loving Star Wars gave me a whole new wave of understanding and love for science fiction in general. I tend to think of this as a good thing. I do understand why reviews would do that, as they assume, perhaps, that one can't see all the movies in the world and want people to prioritize based on their preferences. But this does, I think, explain why I'm not overly fond of movie reviews in the first place.

Main note: So, I have something of a rule. I do my best to appreciate things for what they are, not for what I wish them to be. How successful I am at that is debatable, but I think that it makes me happier as a fan.( Spoilers for Serenity )

It's a theme that's more subtle in the earlier seasons, but they let us know right from the beginning that season seven is going to be more explicit. Buffy's explanation to Dawn in Lessons is a way of using the power that women are 'allowed' to have against people who seem to have more ('who has the power?'). Then, as the season goes on, she finds ways to reclaim the power that belongs to women by right, by being human and alive and strong.

In Chosen, Buffy faces down the First Evil, wearing her face, and realizes that it only has the power that she gives it. That by not believing her cause is hopeless, she gives it new hope. That by not allowing her face to represent evil, evil loses. In Season Seven, the metaphor takes center stage, but the premise and the thought behind it is most clearly laid out in Restless, the fourth season finale.( An feminist analysis of Buffy in 'Restless' )

The Buffy the Vampire Slayer series finale, Chosen, really resonated with me, right from the first viewing. But I was never able to find just the right words (words are, in the end, always inefficient -- they never encompass the deepness of what I feel).

Interestingly, the making of the Wesley vid is giving me some of the right words.

The reason that season seven resonates with me on an emotional level is because of the completion of a series-long theme -- deconstructing the demonization of female power. The Watchers have long been a symbol of patriarchy on the show ('this is how women and men have behaved, since the beginning'). The switch-and-bait aspect of the Slayer myth is an essential part of it all.

It's about the reduction of female power.

About taking female power and putting limits on it, putting it into the control of men (as we see in Restless, the First Slayer in chains). It's about making it sound dangerous and unnatural (side note: many people also disliked Family, an episode that deals with exactly the same issue of falsely claiming that female power was, in essence, demonic).

And we get to see that from the other side in Damage, where the Slayers are free from outside control (and, again, this is interpreted by many fans as a bad thing). This issue is also addressed in the direct demonization of Cordelia and Fred (again, on Angel, we see the issue from the viewpoint of male-directed characters instead of female).

In many ways, Wesley starts out as a parody of a Watcher but, in the end, he understands what a Watcher should be -- nothing at all like his father and nothing at all like a general. With Illyria, their relationship is one of equals, and he's not a Watcher but a Guide, giving Illyria a reason to care about humanity and about fighting the good fight.

I mentioned the other day that I feel a connection between Buffy and Wesley's arcs, not the least because they are the ones that illustrate to us (separately) that the ideal relationship is not that of a Slayer and her Watcher, but of a Guardian and a Guide. It's not about killing, but about protecting. It's not about instructing, but about sharing knowledge.

Other reasons include, but are not limited to, the Buffy/Spike=Wesley/Lilah line of thought and thoughts regarding the earlier comical aspects of each character (Movie!Buffy and BtVS!Wesley).

God, I'm busy lately. I'm near the end of moving (I've been moving all this month and will do my final move this weekend, thank God, it'll be done with).

Anyway, I just thought I'd hang out a 'not dead' sign and let y'all now what's going on with me.

So, some thoughts I've been having recently:

I. The idea that a guy can't or shouldn't be a feminist is very disturbing to me -- in a perfect world, all men and women would be feminists, because the definition of a feminist is someone who believes that women deserve the same rights as men. So, I do hold the belief that Joss Whedon is a feminist, because he holds men and women to the same standards and because his female characters are as complex as his male ones. In fact, for each of his male characters, you can generally find a female equivalent, and vice versa. For every Spike you have a Faith, and for every Buffy you have a Wesley (okay, that one may only make sense in my own head, and I do plan to go into more detail on it another time).

II. Shuddering disgust at the idea of het!sex is something that confuses me. I personally know more than one person who has this reaction and it makes as much emotional sense to me as the idea that some women don't get off on boykissing. But this is because I'm very much sexually attracted to both men and women. Therefore, any kind of 'ew' reaction to attractive people getting snuggly baffles me. It's not the visual image of Jack/Sam (Stargate SG-1) that bothers me, it's the legal, emotional, and long-term ramifications. And this emotional confusion is as much an instinctive personal reaction as the disgust that triggers it. Like, I don't get people who do not love Frannie (due South). Frannie is beautiful, funny, and such a sweetheart. This is what I see when I look at her. Other people see different things -- just because I cannot understand what they see doesn't mean that what they see is invalid. I just don't get it. And that's okay, as long as people don't try to tell me that I'm wrong for seeing what I see.

III. I like season six of BtVS. I like season seven of BtVS. I liked them when they were airing. This does not mean that I am a) a moron, b) easily satisfied, or c) someone incapable of seeing the big picture. It just means that I got what I needed out of the show. Every person watching the show is watching for different reasons. Just because my reasons aren't the same as someone else's doesn't make them wrong, it makes them different.

Also, I'm trying out Adobe Premiere Pro for my Wes vid and trying to figure out if I want to invest in getting the program. Any suggestions from vidders in the audience?

I rewatched Life of the Party. I was planning on just going through to see what I needed for the vid and... ended up going out and rewatching the episode. It made me laugh and think and... happy place. Buffyverse is such a happy place for me now. Closing canon does an odd thing for me -- if I like something enough, I end up not having any real complaints. I'll complain and get pissy when a show is running, but if it's over, then even the things that would have bothered me are only part of the larger canvas. Take anyone or anything out, and you change the pattern.

So, I love it all, because it fits and it works.

It was only after Riley left that I appreciated his story, because that's when I could decide what his story was. If I understand a character right away, I will love it right away, but for some characters, I need to see the entire arc to understand (and then love) them. Because once I do understand them? I can't help but love them.( Personal levels of understanding about BtVS/AtS characters )

Oh, and on a completely different note, apparently Ewan and Hayden greeted each other with a kiss at the London premiere of Sith (link seen at ros_fod's journal). Yay for affectionate casts.

In two of the shows that I actually bother to watch regularly these days, the female characters are not well-written (and while this bugs the hell out of me, the guys are written interestingly enough that I don't want to give up on the shows in question). And I think that a lot of the bad female writing comes not from having male writers, per se, but from having male writers who love their female characters too shallowly.( vague spoilers for BtVS, House, Stargate SG-1, and Smallville )

The show Firefly was murdered, pretty much. Aired out of order on a Friday night and then canceled for having bad ratings and replaced by Joe Millionaire. Then Firefly absolutely exploded on dvd. Because of that and because of the passion of so many people involved in the show (and also because Joss does have some Connections), Joss Whedon was given the chance to make a movie. A Big Damn Movie.

So, this really is so much more than just a movie to Firefly fans.

It's vindication for everyone who despised FOX for canceling the show.

And, more importantly, it's the dead returned to glorious life.

Joss Whedon is good at hit cult movements. Really good. He's very good at making something that is adored as opposed to liked. It's all about passion, and Joss' writing and his worlds inspire quite a lot of passion from quite a lot of people. He has a way of reaching down and tapping into a core emotion and just making you live it. I still can't watch The Body without calling my mom right after. Just to make sure she's okay and to hear her voice. The Gift still makes me cry like a baby at the end and Chosen makes me feel energised and hopeful even thinking about it.

Firefly is... I don't even have the right words. Just that the show makes me so aware of both the fragility of humanity and its bloody-minded determination. That, in the end, all you need to have a good day is to still be flying, to be traveling your own path with people who make the journey worthwhile.

cesperanza and deifire -- your stuff has been sent and should be there in about a week. Other peoples -- I may have a chance to get to the Post Office again on... Friday, looks like.

Wow, I've been busy recently.

And I'm busy during business hours, which means that though I have time, it's not particularly useful time.

Rewatched some of S6 and have noticed several things -- I'm still very much attracted to Xander over Spike (it's the melty eyes and the snark in danger -- he's so a young Jack (SG-1), btw), the grief for Tara is actually pretty there and powerful, and Buffy got and gave quite a few hugs in those last few episodes. Very nice, the hugging.

And Spike's hero journey starts in the final leg of S6. He bites off more than he can chew -- thinks he's found a way to get Buffy, the way that Angel had her, and boy does he get surprised. Overall, I find Spike's journey very satisfying, start to finish. He was a true and independent hero, by end of Angel. Good for him.

So, I'm watching my BtVS tapes to make sure that I have the right labels and...

I just saw the end of Lovers Walk and my heart broke into a thousand tiny pieces. Xander and Willow screw up so badly and then you have Buffy and Angel...

Buffy: "What I want from you, I can never have. You don't need me to take care of you anymore, so I'm going to go."Angel: "I don't accept that."Buffy: "You have to."Angel: "There's got to be some way we can still see each other ."Buffy: "There is. Tell me that you don't love me."

And, of course, he can't. So she walks away.

*sniffles as her OMG! Tragic Love! button is hit*

It didn't hurt like that the first time around. I wasn't at all invested in Angel's character, so I didn't care much. Enough.

Ended up going to skip=440. This is much skip. And that was only making links to the posts that have interesting links/cut-tags. Which I will now go through. And there are about twenty that I can't go through until I watch the new Smallville (as I am self-spoiled for Angel (yay downloading!), I'm fine with reading those)

I love my preview channel (zap2it). There's only so much room for a half-hour show to take up, and the main actor's name shows up on the second line, so Rules for Dating my Teenage Daughter shows up as Rules for Dating John Ritter, which never fails to crack me up. And it plays music, not commercials or shows.( End of Days, spoilers )