Local man with small bladder already stressing about going to see two-hour movie

A man with an unusually small bladder has confessed to holding genuine fears about going to the movies later today, especially if the feature is due to exceed two hours in running time. Ben Geraldson is the subject of many cheap jokes from friends about the frequency with which he needs to wee, but he contacted The Watsonia Bugle to confide that it’s actually a serious matter.

Geraldson said, “Everyone thinks it’s funny but try living a life where you need to urinate at least every hour. I can hardly make it on the drive home from work let alone a two-hour feature at the cinema. And then I’m racked with anxiety about which time in the movie is best to leave for a quick piss. I always seem to choose a moment when something significant happens, so I basically waste the whole movie experience.”

While Geraldson conceded that going public about his inner turmoil and the adverse impact it has on his social life is unlikely to improve the treatment he receives from friends, he said he hoped that by sharing his challenge others would know that they’re not alone. He said, “My mates will still give me grief about it, but I just hope that other small-bladdered individuals out there will now know that they’re not the only ones facing this challenge. If we band together, maybe we could bring back intermission at the movies so we can all duck out for a quick whiz half way through the show?”