As women, we have been programmed to NOT look at or acknowledge our own desires.

This has begun to shift slightly, perhaps generationally, but I bet if you ask the woman sitting next to you about desire, about her own desire, she’d be hard-pressed to give you a clear answer. I don’t think this is a question we’ve been groomed to ask ourselves:

“What is it that I want?”

And if we do get an inkling about a desire, how often do we shut it down before giving it full consideration?

“Oh, I couldn’t possibly” or, “No, I don’t deserve that.”

Here’s the thing — if we don’t know what we want, how can we possibly get it? How’s that for being in a bind?

Then you have to give yourself permission to build that desire muscle. It’s not selfish. Okay ... it IS selfish. But not selfish in the way that you think.

Women who are selfish enough to learn about their own desires, who dare to ask, and who then open themselves up to receive, are women that are real, authentic and contributing in ways they would never have dreamed they could.

To help you get started, here are 8 simple and moving towards daring ways to build your own desire muscle:

1. Acknowledge when you want something.

Even if it’s only to yourself, and even if you know you can’t have it in the moment, acknowledge anything that feels clear to you.

Acknowledgment in and of itself is powerful. So even if you’d rather have someone else put the kids to bed tonight, and you know that’s not possible, even admitting it to yourself gives you clarity about one thing you want!

Maybe you'd rather have someone else grocery shop for you, or you want to go to bed right now, or you want to go out and dance — what are some things you won’t admit you want?