Television – #1 TV show – Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader
Books – #1 NY Times teenage best seller “New Moon”
Music – #1 Album – Chris Daughtry (4th place on American Idol)
Movies – #1 Movie – ‘300’

Dyson: Chicken: Michael Eric Dyson – Author, ‘Debating Race’

Guest Plug:

In closing: Well, that’s all we have time for, which brings us to tonight’s Wørd: Goodnight.

NOTABLE MOMENTS

I wish everyone at home could have seen that, it was half a standing ovation. Divided cleanly right down here, the Spring Break stood up, people with jobs did not.

Tell you what’s really going on here nation, this is my theory. Scientists have the time machine but they don’t want the rest of us to see them. Why? Because we’ll see all the dials go back 6000 years, which means the bible’s right. No big bang, no evolution, therefore no big research grants for people like, you guessed it, Brian Green. Meanwhile Brian and his Labcoat Larry’s travel to the past all the time to plant dinosaur bones for the rest of us to find, and beat up on the jocks who tormented them back in high school.

Future Stephen!

That’s right folks, Willie Nelson’s Country Peach Cobbler is competing with my wholesome All-AmeriCone Dream. Something must be done. And luckily, something must is being done. An independent dessert action committee is setting the record straight with a series of hard-hitting ads. Take a look. [Editor’s note: And recalls.]

I am Stephen Colbert and I had absolutely nothing to do with this ad. [Small Print: The Americone Dream Institute is responsible for the content of this advertisement. It is not authorized by any ice cream or ice cream’s commmittee.]

Sir, I want to let you know if you make me Federal Prosecutor I will be a one-man pleasuredome.

Angel! (They totally should have used Spike – much sexier)

And if you do ever get married, how do you tell your parents you want to have your reception in a crypt. “Try the crab puffs!” [Editor’s Note: The Ghosts of Fandoms Past compelled me to go find this clip about vampires marrying humans.]

The soul patrol is protecting our border groove.

Mahmoud Acmamadon’tletyourbabiesgrowuptobecowboysajad

Even though I watch the show on Tivo and fast forward through the commercials, I have to stop it every single time a ‘Blades of Glory’ ad comes on. I simply must see this movie.

People tell me I’m white and I believe them because I have my own late night talk show.

Stephen: So bigotry anybody can do, but racism is a team effort. Michael: That’s exactly right. There’s no “I” in racism.