I received a linkedin email telling me to congratulate a recently deceased acquaintance on the new job... as Bodhisattva in Redeployment at Higher Realms of Light. How am I supposed to respond, “congratulations on the new job, and I hope to see you again soon”?

Artemisia: if we cannot sympathize or understand then all we claim to be as human beings is just marsh gasValerie: Lia knows how to turn that frown upside-down.

You don't need a reason to help people. ~Zidane TribalGeez. Why are adults so pigheaded? ~PalomHow do you prove that we exist? Maybe we don't exist... ~Vivi OrunitiaThe only dependable thing about the future is uncertainty. ~Amarant Coral

The notes of this paradoxalist do not end here, however. He could not refrain from going on with them, but it seems to us that we may stop here. - Fyodor Dostoevsky, Notes from Underground (trans. C. Garnett)

The latest e-mail spammer wrote:My name is Mrs. Sarah Adam, a woman of 75 years, I am in the sick bed now ready to die soon, but before I die I have an important massage that I want to tell you, very urgent.

Bo Lindbergh wrote:Yep, there is still no literacy requirement for spammers....

The latest e-mail spammer wrote:My name is Mrs. Sarah Adam, a woman of 75 years, I am in the sick bed now ready to die soon, but before I die I have an important massage that I want to tell you, very urgent.

I know that if I were in the sick bed now ready to die soon, I would definitely email a stranger to tell them an important massage, very urgent.

What was her important massage, by the way? Was it deep tissue? Did she use a nice lotion?

Lia S wrote:Valerie is right.

As usual.

TCampbell wrote:Val has a harem, but it's chiefly structured online at the moment.

So the roommate (my cousin Mark) and I are having to move out because this house is so old and in disrepair that it's falling apart. So I have me a nice small place being set up on family land, and he's looking to get an apartment. To help him gather the money for the deposit/first month't rent, he decided to sell this junker scooter of his that's been sitting around the side of the house and hasn't been cranked since 2012.

We thought maybe he could get lucky and get a couple of hundred bucks for it from the mexican/honduran groups that come through here buying junkers to sell down south, and I decided to toss it on craigslist as well for the hell of it Listing at at 300 bucks and thinking someone could feel good haggling him down.

On Tuesday Mark gets an offer to buy it for the listed $300. This sounds great! The next day he gets a certified check for $1000 in the mail via Fedex and an e-mail telling him to keep 300 of it and to give the other 700 bucks to the guy picking up the bike. For some insanely stupid reason unfathomable to any of us, he decides that this is totally legit and takes the check to the bank to try and cash it.

And then they freaking cash it.

Apparently a manager came out, took the check into his office, and spent twenty minutes verifying it, then returned and gave Mark a thousand bucks cash. Mark turned around and put 300 into his (mostly empty) checking account at that bank, then kept the rest to give to the driver. Next day he gets another E-mail saying the driver wants the money up front, and could he send the 700 bucks to the guy via Wal-Mart moneygram (I didn't even know they had this) so Mark does it.

SO. Today he gets ANOTHER cashier's check in the mail for $1400 and ANOTHER e-mail saying that the driver was angry at them for not paying enough on a previous delivery, and could he cash the check and give the guy the money when he gets there, and apparently this is the line for how dumb Mark is because he finally went to the sheriff. While at the sheriff's office he got another e-mail telling him they'd sorted it all out with the driver and could he keep a hundred bucks and send the rest to the driver via Wal-Mart moneygram again and holy DAMN how was he stupid enough t do the first part to begin with?!

He's mad at me now because I keep making fun of him all day today for being dumb. Still not sure yet if he's going to be on the hook for that thousand dollar check or not. The sheriff isn't opening a case file until he can call the bank in Michigan where the check was supposedly written on Monday and verify some stuff himself.

Said he'd come to save the world from destruction and pain, but I said how can you save the world from itself?