If you’ve been reading my blog regularly the last few weeks, you know that Blake Lively’s Martha Stewart Weddings issue is…like Christmas for me. And for some of you too. We can’t wait to see it. We’ve been waiting for so long, and she’s played us so beautifully, the magazine’s release is almost like a proper EVENT. And this, this is great game.

So…

Will it be worth it?

I can’t post the cover but I can tell you that based on the cover, Christmas might not be what we’ve been expecting.

There are no faces on the cover is what I’m saying.

No faces, no people, NO DRESS.

It’s her bouquet. Just her bouquet.

I mean it’s a fine looking bouquet but… it’s not exactly the punch-myself-in-the-face unveil so many of us were hoping for.

Maybe, maybe, sob!, maybe the pages inside will be more… satisfying?

So far, from what I’ve heard, the only shot of Blake and Ryan are of their hands clasping, showing just a corner of his pants and very little of what she’s wearing. Instead it’s the food and the flowers and the venue and probably the place cards but…no people.

Oh my God, did she play us again???

IF this is actually all there is to the spread (and it’s looking like it because I can’t imagine they wouldn’t put their faces on the cover if they had access to that picture, or it could be an elaborate decoy to prevent leaks but that seems unlikely too, given the advance copies that have been send out), I mean, in a way, strategically, Jesus, it really is kind of brilliant in that she’s just made the Justin Timberlakes of the world appear even MORE tacky with their sh-t on PEOPLE, almost as if she’s saying…

Look, here’s how it’s done tastefully, while guarding whatever you can of your privacy. Let me, a girl on the CW, be the one to be the class in this discussion.

But f-ck…

Like, I had it all planned out, you know? I even had a playlist ready for what to have on while l flipped, slowly, through the issue, by the fireplace, with a mug of spiked coffee by my side. And now my holiday moment has been ruined!

Martha Stewart Weddings featuring, allegedly, NO FACES OR DRESS, will be on stands December 24...unless there’s a last minute addition at the printer.