I got 20 bucks that says Old Church Guy has a freezer full of severed heads in his garage or somethin'. I'm on to you OCG! You hear me!? I KNOW WHAT YOU DID!!!

Quote from: RaymondKHessel

Who the hell is Kyle D Williams? The brother of the black dude from Star Wars?

Quote from: RaymondKHessel

That depends. You actually believe a single 900 year old dude somehow got 60,000 species of beetle onto a 450 ft wooden boat?

Quote from: RaymondKHessel

That boy done prayed himself retarded.

Quote from: RaymondKHessel

Don't try to take the high ground with me grasshopper. You're the one insinuating it's a-okay to murder little kids such just as long as it's approved by something significantly powerful.

Thread Title: Which do you value more, and why?

Quote from: RaymondKHessel

Well, life. Truth doesn't do me a damn bit of good if I'm worm food.

Quote from: RaymondKHessel

Oh yeah? Wow. That's nice. Sucks your imaginary friend has COMPLETELY FAILED TO PROSPER AND NOT HARM AND GIVE HOPE AND A FUTURE TO LIKE 90% OF ALL HUMANITY FOR THE PAST 2,000 YEARS. You unbelievably dim-witted weirdo.

Quote from: RaymondKHessel

If somebody is going to sit across from me, and seriously try to convince me that a talking snake (who was really a red, hooved goat man and the incarnation of evil) got a rib lady to eat a wisdom-giving fruit, and THAT is why babies in Africa get devoured by vultures...

And I swear, impotent gods are the worst kinds lol. STRIKE ME DEAD, JESUS! YOU TAKE DICKS UP THE NOSTRILS!!!!

Still here. One impotent god mocked, and I'm about to head home to enjoy a beer and play some videogames. Ahhhh! I blasphemed the holy spook! I'm doomed forever! But don't cry for me Argentina. If your religion was real, I'd take a thousand hells over bending a knee to the vile child-killing, slavery-endorsing, mysognist homophobe pedophile you call a god.

But no, Yahweh just goes nanners and dramatically displays the single greatest over reaction in the history of popular fiction. Kinda like punching a retarded kitten in the face forever because it chewed on your shoes when you told it not to, in full knowledge that your roomate is the one who soaked your Nikes in Catnip.

I bet this sounds REALLY compelling if you're already a Christian. Very dramatic in an after-school special kind of way. Especially the part about panting in the bathroom mirror lol. Because everybody knows that great revelations always make you pant in the bathroom mirror. s**t, I've seen it in at least two dozen movies. I do it myself for effect every time I collect on a property in Monopoly. "Baltimore Ave!? TWO HOUSES!? WAHHH!" <runs to the bathroom to pant in mirror>

I promise you, most of us here know more of the bible than you do. You really should NOT assume that just because we don't believe in space elves, we've never read up on them. That's exactly WHY most of us are not Christians, in fact. Because we actually read the bible in it's entirity and are find it to be.... Lacking. A GOD should have done better.

That you guys can sit there, regurgitating feel-good propaganda and saying "love lovey love love! X luvs u! Y luvs u! Yahweh luvs u more than u can even IMAGINE!! .... Now THAT is insulting. Because with VERY little effort, I can imagine love that doesn't involve TORTURING THE SUPPOSED "LOVED" ONE *FOR ALL ETERNITY!" And ANY kind of love that doesn't involve eternal torture is better than Yahweh's love. A PEDOPHILES love, is better than Yahweh's love.

And laughing at his take on the Shroud:

Quote

As an aside, personally I've always loved the way Jesus is tenderly cupping his cosmic space junk. Like "No, don't look at my sensitive little holy balls! I've never made love to a woman before so they're totally unkempt, like two chestnuts glued to a porcupine!"

It's like "Dude, you're dead. Who are you hiding your sack from?" Answer? The tight-assed medieval rubes that were the intended marks in this con. No way you'd sell them on a Jesus shroud that had a giant god-kawk just chillin' there on his thigh. Ya know? And Set forbid you show some buttock. Very considerate of the artist to blur that part out altogether!

I think some of the best quotes are already got. I remember when Ray and I were offering to go to Chicago and see some idiotic preacher who claimed to turn teeth to gold or some other bullshit. Poor Christian ran away quick after that. But I did miss not being able to get some pizza.

Logged

"There is no use in arguing with a man who can multiply anything by the square root of minus 1" - Pirates of Venus, ERB

i've been gone a while. haven't even really logged in since right after all this happened, but i just saw this thread, and i'm somewhere between hysterical laughter and crying like a sissy. fuck, i miss my boy. truly inspired, and things just haven't felt right since.

but i'm not here for pity. i just rather enjoyed reading all these quotes. brain really was just too wise for his own good. it's too bad there isn't a hell... it would be cool to see him again, even if it were under the pretenses of having the thermostat stuck at 86 and nothing but country music and infomercials on.