From mud huts, umqomboti and straightback to penthouses, expensive weaves and moet!

YES 107

Nice life problems look nice when you are looking in from the other side. I have a friend who had neighbours that had

an Alaskan Husky as a pet. It’s a beautiful dog I kid you not and we used to go to the fence and look at it as often as the white people who owned it tolerated. Then one day they let it out and trust me, it stopped being pretty. With that said, I am very certain if I was seeing Simba from the other side of the spectrum he would have looked so ideal. A man who tells you what he wants, no games and all that jazz. That’s the stuff of dreams in a world where men are mostly clowns and fuck boys. Part of me agrees with that assessment but I guess I was old fashioned like that. I wanted to get to know a person first before I could say yes to him. This was not the age of arranged marriages but women empowerment so how disempowering would it be to marry a man I don’t even know.

“Life with no sex won’t work for me!”

I said boldly to him and I meant it.

“That’s fair but why may I ask? It’s only for a few months before we get engaged so is it not a worthy sacrifice? How many people get to know each other without the complications of a quick shag clouding their judgment?”

He asked standing up.

“Because I don’t think I would be happy with it that’s all! The only people who d that are people who meet on social media and swap numbers. Before they meet all they do is talk about sex and what they would like to do with each other.”

I responded giving my opinion in the matter and I knew a thing or two about it too. I was from the original social media not these fong kongs, I came from Mig33 and Mig33 was nasty, horny and wayward. We all had nicknames to bring out alter ego inner sluts and my name was … I am not going there! He opened a lower cabinet and took out a bottle of alcohol. He poured a drink and drank it straight.

“Are you ok?”

I asked him.

“Wow I did not think you would be so upfront about that? Now I feel rather stupid for having values?”

He responded. I don’t get it, where is written that a women talking about sex shows lack of values! I am sorry if that’s the Bible then the Bible is wrong. Sex is the one tool that has been used to oppress women over generations simply because we can get pregnant. It’s all fine when we are giving birth to your children through it but when I want to enjoy it without the complications of a baby I become a whore, loose, slut etc… You name it! No! I refuse.

“Why? Is it because women should not be open about sex?”

I asked him and he made as though to say something but he hesitated.

“I am an educated young female and Simba I love sex. I am not going to lie about it. Maybe somewhere out there women are not allowed to say this but where I am from I am not ashamed of it. I love sex!”

I said. I don’t know why I was pushing him like this. It’s weird that I actually liked him but because he had a stubborn nature I also liked pushing his buttons. No victory without sacrifice right.

“I never said that. Please don’t make me seem to be outdated and a bigot but my father was a Chaplin, a strict one at that and worse at a military school. He also happened to be a boarding school principal and at his school, in 6 years as principal not one girl got pregnant so you can see how sex topic was rather taboo!”

It took me a minute to understand that example and when I did I actually found myself whistling. It’s actually a rare feat to have a school with no one getting pregnant nowadays. He must have been a principal a hundred years ago then because in most schools today there is someone pregnant or who got pregnant.

“Now that’s just showing off. Is he still alive?”

I asked him trying to lighten the mood a bit because I had gone way too serious.

“He is actually and still strict. He runs the family like an army that’s how we turned out like me! I don’t want that for my family though. I want my kids to be able to crack jokes without being treated like war criminals!”

He said and we laughed. It was clearly an uncomfortable truth but it was a truth nonetheless. A lot of people think that girls are the only ones with daddy issues? Well that’s not true. Men have them too they just manifest differently.

“Are you going to be your father then and follow his same values?”

I asked him in what was more of a mock gesture.

“Of course not but some of the things he taught me the answer is yes I will do so. I took this from him and I have no regrets, we respect women above everything else. That’s why I said the sex thing; it’s to protect you from yet another man who wants to…use you!”

He sad explaining himself. It’s not that he was not taught well just rather he was a bit outdated. This could end up being one of those marriage were no matter how loving it could be, I would need permission to even go out. I am just saying.

“I can take care of myself and I can sleep with whoever I want when I want before I am married. Will you be able to handle that?”

I asked him.

“If that’s what you want then so be it but my offer is just that. I obviously don’t want you sleeping around and I am sorry if my offer to make a decent couple out of us was not what you expected.”

He said. Ok I had played the game a bit too much but from what I know, strong men want strong women. I was trying to appear strong for him to see that I was worth the challenge. With luck on my side I was winning.

“I think I should take you home now.”

He said calmly. Goodness he was kicking me out. What happened to Paris though? We had not discussed it again. I wanted to go to Paris.

“I think I will use an Uber thank you. When you are ready to treat me like the lady that I am, take an Uber to my place. Don’t drive!”

I told him as I went on my app. His mouth was left wide open.

“You are joking right.”

He asked me. I smiled back at him and in 5 minutes when my Uber arrived the joke was clearly on him.

“I am sorry I was too forward.”

He said with a bit of panic in his voice.

“You did nothing wrong? You approached it the way you saw it fit and that’s you. We will talk later!”

I told him as I left in my Uber. Simba the Lion King. I had butterflies in my stomach. I had actually enjoyed that believe it or not. I was tired of push over men and Simba seemed really sure of himself. When I got home I called my sister.

“Mum is quite calm now. The doctors want to sedate her over night so I suggest you see her tomorrow!”

My sister advised. I am ashamed to say I did not have the energy either to go see her so this was a relief.

“Ok cool then. I am sorry again for causing this rift between us. I miss my sister a lot and I miss her giving me advice.”

I told her.

“Ok bye!”

That was her response and she hung up. Eish, we were not out of the woods yet. I needed something out of the car so I stepped out of the house phone still in hand. When I got there my phone rang and it was Sfiso, I just found myself smiling.

“Hey Sfiso!”

I said with a smile on my face but Sfiso being him did not just respond he sang,

I don’t think there are many writers out there who can do what you do with this much consistency. Well done sir we are really proud of you!

I am 37 married with two children and I would like to divorce my husband. We have been married for nine years but in nine years he has never said I love you. He does not discuss anything with me finances or other wise. At the end of the month when we both get paid we don’t do a budget together he does his own and I do my own. I have tried to explain to him how abnormal this is but he refuses to listen. Before we got married he was the quiet type but we communicated well enough when it came to finances. We dated for two years. After marriage he just became serious. We cannot even talk about feelings and we are not even a fighting couple. He is comfortable talking about work, soccer and sometimes gossip about family but when it comes to us nothing. He is good with the kids too but its just me he cannot talk to. I never cheated or disrespected him but honestly I feel like a stranger at home.

I love my husband a lot, am faithful and loyal but I am miserable. How do I fix this?

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47 thoughts on “YES 107”

Am I the only one who remembers that Simba and Lungi once worked together and she is busy trying to pursue a lawsuit against her former employers? Why is Lungi playing like this? Leave Simba alone nxa!

Park town, speak to your husband about this. Outline all that you feel. Better yet write him an e-mail or letter since you said you’ve spoken to him before and it doesn’t help then hopefully therafter he will want to discuss things. If not, just file and leave. Let your children in on this also well and time and don’t spring it on them. Cos guess what, you’ll have to spend old age with this person who’s already ignoring you in his youth. Take care of him and wash him even maybe. Imagine being stuck with a bitter and sour old him and still having to undertake wifely duties. No thank you.

for a second when lungi said ‘ “I am an educated young female and Simba I love sex. I am not going to lie about it. Maybe somewhere out there women are not allowed to say this but where I am from I am not ashamed of it. I love sex!” I thought Simba was suddenly going to grab her, and fuck the life out of her.

Honestly if I were Lungi I would test the waters with Simba and not because of his marriage proposal. If she does not want to get married in a year I’m sure Simba can compromise and meet her halfway. Mbuso is already juggling two women but he thinks he has a right to be upset when another man is trying to pursue Lungi at the same time he hasnt explicitly let her know what or whom he wants. Sfiso is the kind of guy who knows how to tinkle a girls fancy, says the right jokes and the right things that will give her massive butterflies. Simba is straight forward and says the things that he means and that is how a mature man handles a relationship in my books.
To test all theses 3 man she should confide in them about her calling and we will see who would be first to run. I doubt Sfiso would stick around he sounds snobbish, then again remembering the dream she had about him and her having kids and all that. Maybe the ancestors do want her to marry him. Anyway I cant wait to see how this unfolds

Thanks Mikeesto, this was very entertaining, didnt want it to stop at all 🙂

Parktown, nothing mentioned about sex? Like if ya’ll don’t communicate kanje about key things that need both of you to make a union work then how does he initiate the do, does he just land in the 18area without dribbling any defenders and leaving parts of you weak?

9 years is a long time for someone to be acting like Simba’s father, so maybe you need to address this aggressively. Before you pack up and bounce over something that may just be mental or emotional related, rather threaten to take the kids and leave, force him to talk, force him to open up or threaten leaving. Do that before you decide on up and leaving for something that can probably be fixed.

9 years and not even I love you nyana once a month… Hayi this man is failing us tjo!!

Eish…nna im over confused. i like Sfiso, but i think he is the type of guy our fathers dont want for us… he is charming, handsome, funny, GOOD FUCK (according to Lungi) mare… no. H just cheated on his wife and buried her now all of a sudden he is Lungi’s BF!!!?
Then Mbuso… aaah, he belongs to the doctor gape he is confused ene.
Simba… im now rooting for him, (ke married after 1yr south Africa)

I know Simba’s type of family. They are conservative sticks in the mud and I’m sure her mother in law will have negative views of an SA woman. They think we are too opinionated and loose. Imagine going all the way to Zim for harsh makoti duties. Mbuso is a baby daddy without a future once the payout runs out. As much as I live the kid I don’t think it’s a fit especially since he is also evasive about the doctor. The widower it’s too soon and he will cheat on her if he could cheat on his pregnant wife. I have never been chased by two guys before. Some girls are lucky.

I like Simba; he sounds like a challenge and I love those. He probably wants to go for all the blood tests you can think of including Hep B & whether their blood groups are comparable enough to have kids; he will want to eliminate any possibility of them having kids with dissabilities & the likes. Phew!
Parktown…maybe ask your husband the following:- do you love me? do you still want to be in this marriage? are you here thinking you are doing me a favour? are you still in this relationship because of the kids? what exactly do you want out of this marriage? are you fulfilled (any kind of fulfilment, it can be sexual/financial/social or otherwise)? if not is there something we can do about it? the list goes on but I think you catch my drift.
All the best dear.

Thanks Team. I also thought Simba was going to give Lungi a time of her life after that short ‘I love sex speech!’ Bummer… All 3 are angry at her…kwaaaaak. I don’t think Lungis’ partner is one of the three blind mice, too many issues, and they already know too much about Lungis’ many ‘loves and flops!’
@Parktown – go for marriage counselling Nkosazana – good luck!

Team Sfiso all the way. I really think Lungi loves him and he, well….idk but they enjoy each other. The only thing that was standing between their love was the wife, which the ancestors took care of already….*shhhh*
Mbuso is broke and Simba is a virgin.

Parktown- Don’t leave your husband, just threaten him with divorce and see if he will be shaken a lil’ bit

Lungi is that chick o phuthileng ke skolo otherwise girl hana line..she judges everyone..constantly reminds us gore she can afford life and how educated she is…like if we take away all those things..who is she?
what voids is she trying to fill? anyway die kent hana line ..wambora (mpolayeng he)

1…..I agree with the letter writer about your consistency,amazing Mike! 2…..Lungi the bible is not wrong,we simply decide whether we believe in it or not,we should never modify it to justify our feelings/actions…..3..Hebanna Simba am midly dissapointed…marriage is not a womans ultimate achievement,dangling it shoulf not make her jump for you…primise to love her provide etc….you can then pop the q in a year if things are going right…..4.We Lungi…..date all three of them mos,although id be wary of Mbuso because youbshouldnt find for a mans attention,but if he asks about the others,simply say they are to me what the good Doc is to you!!If he falls off so be it…..but you have also have rhe advantage of just asking your ancestors,lol and save yourself the heartache and drama

Hi Parktown. I’m just wondering, have you ever told your husband that you love him? Coz since he isn’t tuned into the proper channel, maybe you should teach him boo. Please tell us how he approached you when he was courting you. I’m trying to figure out how you ended up married to a man who had never told you that he loves you. Yours is a difficult situation, please ask him why he married you. All the best hun