John on Jolie before Jen

Everyone here in LA is buzzing about the battle royale on the red carpet on Sunday – Jen and John and the Brange at the Oscars? Perhaps John Mayer is hoaxing. Hopefully not!

Academy seating plans! What to do?

Anyway, thanks to Noelle for this delicious little blast from the past. A John Mayer interview with Rolling Stone during which he discusses blow-job thought patterns:

"Everyone thinks Brad Pitt has it great because he married Angelina Jolie. I think he has it terrible, because when Angelina Jolie is giving you a blow job, what do you tip your head back and think of to help you finish? You have nothing left — just Jesus on a polar bear in the middle of the snow, saying, 'You greedy mother-cker, I've got nothing for you.'"

So basically, the Jolie is the hottest woman alive and you can’t fantasise beyond that so it’s better to settle with someone who gives you a little room at the top to dream about…? Is this the message?

Someone needs to revisit this with John Mayer. Preferably on Oscar night.

I would ask him but it’s too long of a question to shout down from a balcony. Maybe I’ll make a sign.