New Fake Colgate Disaster As Man's Teeth Fall Out

The fake Colgate toothpaste story took a new twist today, when the teeth of a man from Wimbledon who used Colgate to brush his teeth before bedtime last night, had to call an ambulance this morning when ALL OF HIS GNASHERS FELL OUT!

Eric Dribble, 89, who had, until last night, managed to keep all of his own teeth, had devoured 3 bags of Cheese 'n' Onion crisps, and decided to clean his teeth to rid himself of his foul-smelling breath.

He applied some paste to his brush, and brushed this way and that, up and down, side to side for two minutes before rinsing and swilling, then retired to bed, to dream of naked women.

When he awoke this morning, however, he noticed that his mouth felt "funny", and found a collection of teeth on his pillow. On moving his head, the rest of his whiter-than-white teeth dropped from his gob, and onto his wife, who had overslept. He called an ambulance, and after initially being laughed at, was attended by paramedics at around 10.30am.

The paste, bought at a store in London, was the Colgate Cavity Enhancement type, and came in a 100ml tube.

A spokesman said:

"It's almost as bad as selling Diabetic Chocolate that gives you the shits!"

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