Writer / Dreamer

Off-Endded

Have you ever woke up in the morning to get ready to do something great but felt crummy inside? (I’m believing that this is all of America so far) Then you meet that very specialsomeone who just enhances those negative emotions even more. Now you think “hey I’m doing something great but I don’t feel great today but this person who is apart of this “Great ” should be great” … and they are not. This is me not getting off of my course and leaving the place where I am supposed to bloom.

I was volunteering at my church in the media department on a Sunday morning. Five minutes before service starts everyone moves into their place. Some on cameras, some on audio boards, some on lights, some are directing, some are working on graphics and lyrics, and scriptures to show on the screens during praise and worship and during service when the Pastor teaches. Basically, everybody’s working together to get things done. The phone rang and it was one of the directors. She sees what the congregation sees and calls us to tell us what we need to correct or improve on. Well most of the calls were directed towards this certain person, he was very agitated every time I gave him a message (that didn’t really come from me), but he was taking it out on me. Nonetheless, I was not offended by his frustration or his agitation, I was offended by his sarcastic and degrading remarks every time he received a message from me. Okay, you know I didn’t let him get away with those negative remarks right? Of course he didn’t get away with it. Every time he dished it out I gave it back to him. You know this was turning out to be an irritating situation for me because every time, I mean every time I gave him a message we would get into it for no reason. I could have told him that his foot was on fire and he still would have found some way to argue with me.

The last message that I had given to him I thought to myself “He couldn’t possible get mad at this message”, but you know he did. I gave him a piece of my mind and yes he dished it out but this time I made him eat it. This dude was clearly having an off day. He tried to correct me about things he was wrong about and he quietly surrendered.

I left the church appearing to be strong and intact but inside these negative thoughts were tormenting me. It was like a box had been opened and out came those evil dementors from the Harry Potter movie. I felt bad on top of the bad I was already feeling. Mind you I woke up not feeling all that great anyway. Why did I have to deal with this guy today? I should’ve felt great about standing up for myself but I couldn’t see pass all the negative thoughts in my mind. Then I thought about it, this guy is not going to get me off, ending the process of where I am supposed to be.

I don’t really blame the guy totally, because just like I believe in God, I believe that the devil exist also. The bible says ” for we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places” (Ephesians 6:12). That scripture is like a map showing us where to really place our focus …and it’s the devil. And he “don’t” like me, or anything created by God. This is not an “excuse me” card but if you keep fighting against flesh and blood (a person), it’s like fighting fire with fire, it’s not going to go anywhere. For us humans, love covers a multitude of sins. I prayed for him. I stood up for myself, showed him a mirror and I prayed for him.

This guy had to be going through, it was all on him like boo, boo. He definitely needs some cleansing because everyone said the same thing I said about him. They all didn’t really like being around him. All I can say is hurt people, hurt people…I was told that he was like that all the time. It’s amazing how he can’t smell the odor on him and everyone else can. Or maybe he can. Maybe it works for him like a wall or a weapon to protect himself from people or something. He’s taken on the horrible scent for some reason as if it was a beautiful smelling cologne.

Bottom line your issues can’t be my issues. I’ve taken on other people’s insecurities cradled, cuddled and feed them for so, so long, and now I’m free. I did pray for some of the things that I saw on him and I believe that the great things that I prayed for in his life will come to pass. As for me I’m still volunteering for a great ministry doing what I love and not letting anyone get me off-ended.