The Life Makers Blog

"Is it okay to voice a difference of opinion? If I voice a different opinion from my husband's opinion am I being disrespectful?"

Yes, it is ok to voice a difference of opinion. A difference of opinion does not automatically mean you are being disrespectful. It is to be expected that in marriage there will be differences of opinion. But how, when, where and why that difference of opinion is voiced matters.

How are you voicing the difference of opinion? Are your tone of voice, your body language, and the words you choose reflecting a godly posture? Are they constructive and helpful? Are you speaking the truth in love?

When are you voicing the difference of opinion? Are you being wise and selective in your timing? Are you patiently waiting to broach the subject at an appropriate time, instead of being reactive, impulsive, and/or impatient. Timing is a significant key in issue resolution.

Where are you raising the difference of opinion? Location. Location. Location. Are you in an environment where you and your spouse can openly share and discuss the issue? And is that location somewhere where you really want to bring up the issue? For example, the romantic restaurant may not be the place to wax eloquent on a difference of opinion. Enjoy your candle lit dinner.

Why are you raising the difference of opinion? Motives matter. Sometimes we are so close to the issue we fail to be objective regarding our true motives. Are you seeking a win-win with your spouse? Are you seeking to build your union and partnership? Not every difference needs to be expressed, and if your motives are not pure, that might be a good time to do some soul searching before mentioning your opinion.

Finally, who you are married to matters in how you approach voicing your difference of opinion. Husbands are not all the same. Some husbands are mature enough to value the thoughts and perspectives of their wives. Some husbands, however, are more defensive or argumentative. Sharing a difference of opinion in even the gentlest of ways can stir up anger and resentment in such husbands. Prayerfully try to know and understand where your husband is so that you can be wise in how you approach differences.

This is quite an interesting piece of article. I can relate to the final paragraph a lot. In conversing with my married friends it's sometimes alarming to hear how differently their husband would react to their difference in opinion. It's as if they shouldn't have a voice.