Menu

It’s already hard enough.

So I’m not entirely sure if you know this…but I am awesome. What I have noticed though is that some of you guys are not as awesome as me, infact you are just mean. What I really want to do is sit on your face and fart the national anthem, like ALL the languages not just the verses we all know the words to.

…But I can’t, so what I have done is created a list for you on how to be awesome like me.

1. Don’t be an asshat.

2. Bite off more than you can chew… you can always spit it out if you don’t like it.

5. If more than 3 people tell you that you’re being a meanie, then consider that maybe you are being a meanie (/douchepickle/buttmuncher/fartcanoe).

6. Don’t make happy people sad.

7. Don’t make sad people sadder.

8. Embrace your flaws and quirks. If people make fun of you, ignore them (…after you punch them in the boob.)

9. Do something nice for someone you love, or a stranger….or yourself.

10. Love like a crazy person, love like a child, love with no apologies, love with an unwounded heart. But for goodness sake Love. Give it and allow yourself to feel it (….then bottle it, sell it and become an overnight millionaire.)

11. Hug people – not those like whimsy half arse little squishy’s. Imagine how hard you would need to hug someone to snap your arm in half and then hug them just a tiny bit less.

Good, so now that were sorted….go be awesome. Enough with the douchebaggery ok?

This world is hard enough.

If you don’t want to listen to me then listen to Darren Criss (whoever he is) …