Dysfunction in the Eye of the Beholder

I continue to be amazed at the contortionist capabilities of conservative gay bloggers. I wasn’t going to say anything about the recent death of famed “reparative therapist” Charles Socarides , but then I noticed that conservative gay blogger Steve Miller of Independent Gay Forum couldn’t pass up the chance to get in a dig about Socarides gay son (Richard Socarides, former gay & lesbian community liaison to Bill Clinton).

Dr. Charles Socarides, a psychiatrist who gained notoriety for his claimed ability to “cure” homosexuals of their “disorder,” has passed into the great beyond. The New York Times obit mentions he was married four times. Since Socarides was often cited by anti-gay “defense of marriage” types, one can only ponder which of his four marriages was being defended.

The most interesting thing about him, however, was that his openly gay son was Bill Clinton’s liaison to the lesbian and gay community. Can you say “dysfunctional family”?

It strikes me as kinda funny that Miller doesn’t mention or seem to notice the deep dysfunction evident in those families of those he’s so fond of on the other side of the political divide. It’s kinda like pointing out the splinter in someone else’s eye, while ignoring the great big log in your own. Ya know?

Dysfunctional on whose part? You want to talk dysfunction? How about Alan Keyes? (Lesbian daughter .) Phyllis Schlafly? (Gay son .) Timothy and Beverly LaHaye? (Gay son .) I won’t even start on the Cheney’s, go get positively apoplectic at the mention of Mary Cheney’s lesbianism, even though she used to work as a gay & lesbian community liason at Coors, and helped head up the (now defunct?) Republican Unity Coalition Remember that one? The organization that aimed to make sexual orientation a “non-issue” in the Republican party? How’d that work out for them?

Anyway, with the exception of Maya Keyes — who acted out by coming out this past — most of the gay girls and boys mentioned above have kept nice and quiet while their mommies and daddy’s have done about their gay-bashing bussiness. And mom and dad have kept right on gay-bashing, despite having queer kids of their own at home. So unlike families like, say, the Gephardt’s who have been supportive of their lesbian daughter.

But then, Steve has a problem with PFLAG-type parents who not only accept their children but stand up for them politically. He even quotes a commenter on his blog, bemoaning the politicization of PFLAG.

The original mission was outreach to angry, scared, and misinformed parents who’ve learned that their child is gay. It was basically a self-help group, parents helping parents.

Something began to change when it went from “Parents and Families” to “Parents, Families and Friends.” These “friends” seem to be standard issue gay activists, and PFLAG is now fast becoming a clone of NGLTF.

What does this mean for parents, many of whom no doubt are Republicans, who may turn to PFLAG seeking information and support? When they catch drift of the intense anti-GOP politicking, they’re not likely to be receptive to the message of openess and acceptance that, once upon a time, was PFLAG’s reason for being. And that’s a shame.

So, PFLAG should help parents to be more accepting their gay children, while also making it easy for those same parents to go on supporting politicians, parties, and policies that would legalize discrimination against their gay & lesbian children? No problem. Nothing dysfunctional in that. Nothing at all.

My roomie was watching something on Logo last night about the Log Cabins. It was revealing when one of them said; (para) "I get along with other repubs fine, I don’t really "look" gay or anything – and we get along fine." or para et para "as long as I’m in the closet everythings fine."