Thursday, July 31, 2008

I promised to post some cool pics from my trip to Cambridege and not just the awful dorms so here they are. I originally tried to do the 13 Thursday Meme but ended up with something else.

More Than 13 Pictures from Cambridge, MA (Mostly Harvard University)

When we first arrived on campus, this was the reception hall we had our first networking meeing at. It was also the place we would be meeting in for our daily lectures. We were told that we would be creating a project and presenting at the end of the seminar. (Yep, they actually wanted us to study! ) The building itself was spectacular!

This is why some people were so happy... good service and tons of free booze!This are some close-ups of the hall decor. The pieces were pretty amazing huh? I love old, historical stuff that can tell a story on its own.

This is where my group worked on our project. Well, actually we had some drama with the group thing. Me and this other guy seceded from our assigned group and did our own project! Being in a scholarly program IS EXACTLY like being on a reality TV show but that is another post for another day.

This is the statue of John Harvard that is located in front of University Hall. I passed it every day before getting to class. It is also known as the statue of "Three Lies."Although the inscription reads "John Harvard, Founder, 1638," none of these three statements is true. The seated figure is not really John Harvard, since no authentic pictures of Mr. Harvard existed; John Harvard was not the founder of Harvard College; and the College was founded in 1636. The statue is an immensely popular draw for tourists, and thousands of visitors a year rub John Harvard's shoe for luck.

The gates to the university which led to the building where my class was held. My Professor, Skip Gates usually only works on Mondays and teaches only two classes a YEAR, one in Spring and one in Fall. He was getting ready to go finish shooting a documentary on Lincoln after the class wrapped. Now that is the kind of teaching schedule I need.The main library and yes, it is HUGE inside!I never saw more people reading in my life!Our days were pretty full. We had daily lectures and went on some field trips also. There are really random things of beauty in Cambridge. Lots of people have these flower boxes in their windows. They are really pretty!

This is the old burial ground right next to the campus....I love old grave sites like this.

Skip took us all to Bartley's Burgers for lunch one day....I have never seen a bigger burger and the onion rings and sweet potato fries were amazing...or a heart attack waiting to happen! The burgers are named after rock stars and political figures. There was even a "Professor Skip" burger on the menu!Bartley's works their employees really hard (I have never seen a line that long for a burger) but provides them a living wage, medical insurance and profit sharing!

This is the Weld Boathouse where the Harvard Rowing Crew practices off the Charles River. All Harvard students and faculty with a valid Harvard I.D. are invited to use Weld's assortment of sculls (one-person rowing shells). I think I will save that for another trip....

Gotta run.....Happy Travels to Everyone! If you are a teacher and are considering applying for a fellowship grant such as Teaching American History or Gilder Lehrman, I would definitely recommend it! It totally changed my perspective of education in more ways than one.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

I had been planning to post these pictures long before now but like I said, I have not been feeling too well. One of the reasons I am posting them even though its been awhile since I got back is people think I was living in the lap of luxury during the time I was out there. Don't get me wrong, when I first arrived at Harvard, it looked pristine and polished...kind of like what you see in the movies. I mean, I am the person who was on the ten year graduation plan from a Cal State, University which is ANYTHING but Ivy League so lets just say I had some lingering stereotypes from the media about Ivy League accommodations. From the conversations I have had with friends and family, most people tend to have the same stereotypes as I did before I got there. Don't get me wrong, the experience was AMAZING....and I am really grateful to have been able to do something most people only dream of. Even with that being said, the accommodations were not what I expected and I was totally shocked that rich folks would agree and pay a TON of money to live so badly!The one really good thing I can say about the housing is the food was amazing and they had top notch caters and chefs cooking for us! Most of my fellow educators were also SUPER IMPRESSED that they had such a big liquor budget at the receptions that were held for us. I don't drink so I did not get to take advantage of the free-flowing booze but lots of others sure made up for it!! For some people, it was a "party like a rock star" fellowship and lets just say for those who do not know, teachers (including myself) can be totally "Ghetto" when it comes to free ANYTHING!

With that being said, I am super grateful for this experience as well as the others I have been given. This year I not only got to study under two of the most respected professors in the world, Skip Gates and Evelyn Brooks Higgingbotham; I got to work with some of the most talented educators from all over the United States. Its funny, when all of the other teachers shared stories and educational strategies, we all had the same issues to deal with. Whether we worked in urban cities such as Los Angeles or New York or affluent suburban neighborhoods in southern states like Florida or Georgia--most all teachers deal continue to struggle with the fact that most students do not choose to read and are usually at least two years below grade level. This is an issue in education that is becoming a bigger and bigger problem no matter what area of the country a person lives in. Also, teaching is not a job that comes with a ton of respect or compensation; especially when teaching in an urban public school. As an educator, you are rarely treated with respect for what you do and sometimes are treated like you have no brain cells at all in your head. I admit, some teachers are outta their minds and don't belong in a classroom but most really do care and want to change lives. I got into the field because I like to think I am one of the people who wants to change lives and hopefully, will continue to do so.

My Fellowship: Day One: checking in. This is the Cronkite Center for Graduate Students....our group stayed here for the duration of the trip.

The dorms look really beautiful from the outside....

The dining hall is where you go eat all of your meals. The meal plan is mandatory and costs like $5,000 for nine months.These are the long hallways that remind me of a cheap motel. You have to walk down the halls to use the bathrooms.The bathrooms are all up and down the hallways...most of them had two showers, two toilets, three sinks and that's about it. There were a few that had a shower, tub and a sink and toilet and you could lock the door for privacy.

My dorm room #215

This is the linen service..two towels, a wash cloth and a mni bar of dial soap!

This is the 9 by 9 cell.....I mean room! It had an extra long twin bed, a desk, a chair, a dresser and a closet.

The desk that I used to study and do my project on! Thank God for wireless access right? Unfortunately my computer was down during most of the trip so I spent a lot of time in the library or borrowing people's power cords!

I spent a lot of time by the window (when I actually was in the room as there was a bad heatwave ) and it was the only way to keep cool! They do not have air conditioner in the dorms! It reminded me of a cheap motel I stayed at when I was in Belize and we went to the Keys.

Anyway, gotta run...I will add post some more in the next couple of days. As for smoking, it has been a ton of days without smoking and I actually saved a lot more money than the calculator figured. I saved at least a couple hundred dollars more than it says at the top of my blog as I was on the patch for quite awhile and did not buy cigarettes. Anyway, hope everyone is having a fantastic weekend.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

I have not been in the mood to post...sad but true! I have loved reading everyone's blogs and have left even more comments than usual for people and I even have tons of half written blogs that I need to finish up and post. I just have not been feeling too good! When I was out of town, I was walking so much when that I had a flair up of plantar facscitis. For those of you who have never heard of it, it feels like glass fragments are shooting up the arch of your foot or your foot heal. When the outbreak first occurred, I thought I was getting shin splints or something. Then I mentioned the EXTREME pain I was suffering with and someone mentioned that I could have planter fascitis. When the term came up, my first thought was, hummmmm that term sounds so familiar! I then thought back to when I used to be a gym rat, a long, long time ago (Back from about 90 to 94, before my leg got messed up in the Northridge Earthquake) and remembered that I had been diagnosed with something similar to the plantar fascitis condition at one point in my life.

Yesterday, I was still not feeling too good and it hurt to walk so I went to my chiropractor and he adjusted my body and suggested I get some soft orthotics as my one arch is pretty much non-existent. I agreed to do that and get the athletic socks with the arch support as well as do a bunch of other holistic things to treat the condition! When I got home, sure nuff, I found the old Orthotics that were made for me back in like 1996! They were made with a type of fiberglass and hurt like hell so I never bothered wearing em! Its funny how we forget about stuff.... anyway, I have an appointment with my regular doctor to discuss the issue and have been taking a little rest from walking all day every day! Hopefully, I will feel better tonite. I am supposed to be wearing something besides flip-flops and am going to put on good tennis shoes with a shock absorber tonite when I go out. Wish me luck! I like flip flop soccer slides better!

Saturday, July 19, 2008

The Camel of Death Strikes Again! Sometimes I really Miss Joe....He Was so Cute and Sexy and Cool! Now they use this boring looking guy...definitely not my guy Joe! Or cool enough to make me want to pick up a Camel...but then again, I was a Marlboro kinda girl and Marlboro is coming out with the own version of SNUS soon! Lets hope they don't send me the free offer.

Today, I was at the Post Office picking up my mail, I got a "special offer" from Camel for a product called SNUS! I can get two whole boxes of SNUS, Original and Frost; absolutely FREE! I guess they want to make sure that I get to try BOTH flavors! Well, no thanks Camel, I don't smoke OR use products that contain Nicotine! Thank God for Chantix and my fellow bloggers! It has been over eight months that I have picked up a cigarette, cchewed Nicorete gum or spent any money on anything Nicotine related and I really want to keep it that way.

For those of you who have not seen this stuff, (which I never had even heard of until today) Snus is a new nicotine delivery device that is manufactured in Sweden by British American Tobacco, under contract, and it is a product being pushed to people who want to smoke but are having problems finding a spot to do it in! Also, those concerned with second-hand smoke can put Snus in their mouth and VIOLA, they get that good old fashioned nicotine rush! All I have to say is, Good Lord, the Anti-Smoke has a lot of work to do because Phillip Morris and Co. are some sneaky little bastards and want to keep getting paid! When people start quitting, they need to answer! One such answer is Snus.

When I looked up Snus on the net, I found that many people are singing the praises of it and I guess Marlboro (my former brand...we broke up after a 30 year relationship) even has their own version of it coming out! I also found out about some other smoke free products (such as an electronic cigarette, now that one could be kind of tempting) from this site called Zimbo. I found a page where smokers who do not want to quit rate each new smoke-free product! Anyway, I was one of types of smokes determined to hang onto my ignorance and always figured I was going to die or something so why not just let it be from smoking! When I started read some of their posts at: http://www.zimbio.com/Smoker I got a real dose of gratitude that the light of motivation went on and I have stayed quit this time! I am not so arrogant to think I am any better than someone who wants to continue to smoke cigarettes (Because after all, they are hooked just like I was or someone who has quit and gone back to it!) The light of inspiration can go out as quickly as it came on and that is the true nature of addiction folks! It is how Big Tobacco continues to sell products that kept me hooked for a good thirty years and why people often going back to whatever their drug of choice or addiction happens to be!

Just for today I am not going to buy Snus, smoke a cigarette or use anything with Nicotine in it. I learned in AA over 21 years ago, one day is as long of a committment as I need to make. Wishing everyone a smoke-free Saturday!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

That is a whole lot of cigarettes not smoked! Lets see, that is 4,800 cigarettes not smoked give or take a few! Also, I have saved a TON of money by not smoking! I have saved like $1,300.00 dollars and have put the money towards stuff that is actually good for me as opposed to stuff that is going to kill me! I redid the collage and I think it looks much better! Now I need to know how to embedded the captions like how Maggie's are done! Maggie, holla with the info if you read this please! Any help would be great since I am in the process of learning!Diva

This is the first collage I have ever attempted! I was sitting in training and started uploading my photos to Picasa! I am going to try doing a collage with the photo Mosaic program where the images are bigger and you can label the photos. For now this is my first creation and I am dying to see how it looks online.

After seeing it online, I redid it and here is the new one! I think less is more and got rid of some of the images....

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Hey there....My last post was kinda long so I am gonna keep this quick and to the point. I am in the process of revamping my blog. I am not sure what to focus on. Of course there is my Chantix Quit....it is important for me to remember that I am one cigarette away from a pack a day and be there to pay it forward for other quitters. If I did not have the network of Maggie, MamaFlo, Lynda and Brandie in the beginning, I do not know if I would have made it. Now that I have had some success, I get to watch the progress and offer support to some Chantix newbies like Jude (who has racked up a lot of time off cigarettes and isn't really new) and Chris, who is pretty new and is doing great. I am going to get a ticker and all that good stuff when I revamp as I always want to be able to post if I feel like smoking or need some support. Being able to say "I need help," is such a huge safety net for me! I cannot believe it has been over EIGHT months off of cigarettes! I am so glad I am no longer making Phillip Morris rich and am not inhaling toxins! I smell much better and have a lot more pocket money too! Ok, about the blog, I am determined to continue improving my health and plan on working on changing my eating habits and getting more exercise. I think I will be discussing those topics quite a bit and want to kind of have a getting healthy...physically, mentally and spiritually focus. As most of you know, I am also a historian, educator, and am gay. I am not sure if I should deal with history/educational/political stuff in this blog or start another one! I don't know about having two blogs. Sounds like a whole lotta work to me! I mean, this is supposed to be a hobby! Since I am unsure what direction I should go in, I am asking all my friends out in blogland for some feedback on where to go from here. When I first started blogging, it was for a very specific purpose--to get support and give support while quitting smoking. Now, I find I have more things to say than I ever thought I would even consider! Let me know what you think! Peace,Diva

Hey all, I survived the week at the Gilder Lehrman seminar at Harvard University and am now behind the “Iron Curtain!” I am at another week long seminar learning about Religion in American History. Right now we are discussing Native American beliefs and how religion was used to acculturate Native Americans. When that did not work, they were pretty much killed. I really love Native American studies, so the lecture is extremely interesting! I only had two days to relax when I got home and here I am! I can’t really complain…at least I get paid to go to school as opposed to paying to go. Also, I do not have to present to my colleagues where most of the time I am expected to do so. The only problem I AM having today is that ALL blogs (yep even mine!) are blocked here at the Orange County Office of Education, meaning I can’t read yours OR respond! This really sucks! I will have to post this later!I must say studying with Dr. Gates was a really amazing experience! I cannot express how fortunate that I have been able to study with some of best professors in the world. When I went to Harvard, I got to study under Dr. Henry Louis Gates Jr. “Skip”. Skip is probably one of the well-educated and interesting African American scholars in the world. I mean it....he is funny and quirky but oh so intelligent! He is not pretentious at all and insists on being called his nickname of Skip. It was a huge honor to be selected for the first institute he has ever done where he works with teachers to use and develop lesson plans for his new resource: The African American National Biography. I was one of three people out of 33 total participants who won the set! The set costs like 1,000 so I must have have crazy good luck or something. About two years ago, I won an amazingly beautiful cherry wood bookcase from the Kathy Ireland Collection. I was at an AA convention and they were raffling off a bunch of stuff. I won the grand prize and I had only entered to get the area rug. The guy who delivered the bookcase gave me a rug too! I guess that should have been a sign of good things to come huh?

Some of you may be familiar with Skip's work. He has hosted multiple PBS specials called “African American Lives” which focus on genealogy, oral history, family stories and DNA analysis to trace lineage through American history and back to Africa. Series participants have included: Oprah Winfrey Whoopi Goldberg, Quincy Jones, Chris Tucker and many more.

Anyone who knows me knows I am a HUGE Oprah fan…..I am one degree removed from Oprah….If you believe in the six degrees of separation theory. When we left the program Skip gave us the book“Finding Oprah’s Roots—Finding Your Own” and I could not put it down! What was really interesting was that Oprah ended up being related to Elvis Presley! When I got to the hotel, I saw her last night on TV telling people that “her cousin Lisa Marie” was going to be on the show today! People all over the Internet were like, “What the hell is this woman talking about?” I was reading tons of blogs with people saying, “Oprah is TRIPPING!!” Well, she may sound crazy but after hearing how the tests and research is done, it sounds pretty possible. The last name Presley is in her lineage…I saw the paperwork myself. Both Elvis and Oprah’s families are from the rural areas of Mississippi so anything is possible.

What interests me the most is this type of genetic testing is available to anyone—well, for a price of course! DNA tests cost from 100 dollars to several hundred dollars, and are offered by several different organizations and companies. These price differences are partly explained by different levels of quality. After experiencing how excited and proud Skip was to find out his ancestry and bring it to so many people, I really want mine done. I know my dad is English and Irish. I know my mom’s mom was Russian and immigrated during the Russian Revolution via the Stalin regime. My grandmother will not discuss her life during that period. My mom had a different father than her brothers and sisters and didn't stick around long. I have heard he is everything from Serbian to Native American. I don’t know anything past two generations that is not here say and I really want to know!

Truthfully, I am not really sure my parents are even my birth parents. There are a lot of secrets in my family that were buried with them. Let’s just say for time constraints I have a lot of reasons to need some answers regarding family and linage. Oprah goes on in the book I just read to say that” Knowing your family history is knowing your worth—your whole worth. And I don’t mean your monetary value. It is about everything that everybody gave up for you. It allows you to know what your mama went through, what your grandmamma went through….” and so on. It lets you know that the people who come before you and would like to have had what you have.” Well, I want to know what my worth is and have for about 15 years. I have just been too scared to deal with it until now.I thought the coolest 'lesson' from the series was that - one's 'heritage' or 'cultural identity' is based not on 'race' alone. Culture plays a huge part in what and how you relate to things. I lost my parents at a young age and was mentored educationally and emotionally by an interracial couple who were activists during the Civil Rights Movement. They became my “God family” and I am pretty sure that the acculturation into their family unit at a pivotal time in my life explains a lot about my interest in history, particularly during the changes that took place during the 50’s and 60’s.

I told my God mom the other day that I was a scholar….she looked at me and said, “Yeah you really are and we both started laughing!” She reminded me that I was the street-punk with the bad attitude that had to be dragged into filling out the transfer paperwork to go to a Cal State University because it “Seemed like too much work!” When I heard Dr. Gates say that after he got his Fellowship to go to Cambridge University and then went to England and realized that the smartest people were going to school to become academics as opposed to doctors and lawyers, he opened up his mind to all that he could become. (He originally wanted to be a doctor.) I learned that I need to open my mind to all that I can become because I am selling myself short if I don’t. I know amazing things are out there for me....I just now need to be brave enough to accept challenges as they arise. I don't just mean in the career area...thats an easy one for me. I need to reach out of my comfort zone and go for things I want even if it means risking failure. Things that scare me are trying to find my roots and the idea of being open to love is another "challange" to me!

Anyway, I decided to get better at blogging and try some newthings! I tried doing links for this post and I am going to go back and check out how to do a photo mosaic for the next blog. Even if I don't do that I definetly want to put up some photos from the trip. Gotta run! I tried to put in a few photos but I seem to be having problems with it so said forget it!Peace,Diva

Saturday, July 12, 2008

I am so glad to be home! My flight got delayed so I got in really late last night. My ex-girlfriend picked me up from the airport with her current girlfriend who really can't stand me but ahhhhh that is another story for another day! I had bought tickets to Yaz a group from the 80's that has not played out here in the US for like 25 years! My ex and I were supposed to go to the concert but unfortunately, the last day of my seminar was filled with presentations, photo opportunities, picking up our checks etc. and I could not get back in time. The world of scholarly endeavors is not without a price! At least someone who likes the band got to see them even if it wasn't me! I still have been unable to pull up the on-line review! I am really tired! I have used today to chill out and run errands as I am leaving on Sunday night for another educational seminar/stipend opportunity. I will be "Behind the Orange Curtain" in Orange County, California which is a lot closer to me than Massachusetts! I have so much to say but don't even know where to start so I think I will go get some rest....I feel a bit of jet lag! Peace,Diva

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Broadcasting Live from the Harvard Dorms.... I just got out of the shower and am getting ready to go get a cup of coffee before walking the 3/4 of a mile to class. A nice breeze is coming through the window....ah the little things in life! Today is the last day of lecture and then we have presentations of our research tomorrow and I will be coming home! I cannot wait to sleep in my own bed!

As for smoking, I finally feel like the end of the rough patch has come to an end (at least for now). I was walking around Harvard Square last night and a lot of people were smoking. At first I thought that it seemed like I was seeing more smoking than usual but then one of the participants of my research group mentioned that she had not seen so many people smoking in a long time. I think part of the reason so many people were smoking is this area is a big tourist attraction and attracts people from all over the world. (Lots of people from other countries, like China, have not gotten hip to the anti-smoke campaigns yet.) Anyway, for the first time in like ten days, I did not feel like I was missing anything! I was thinking, "Better them than me!" That is huge since only days ago, I was wanting to go to the Hookah lounge! Fortunately, I know that if I just wait the craving through, the feeling will pass! The hard part is the waiting process. Anyway, I am glad I am looking forward to being eight months removed from this horrible addiction on July 11th which will be tomorrow!

Monday, July 7, 2008

I had a great time in Cape Cod, Provincetown and I am now in the city of Cambridge, Mass. I just arrived a couple of hours ago and did a load of laundry. It is REALLY hot and humid here in Cambridge and there is no air conditioning in the dorms! I am staying in the Cronkhite Graduate Center and boy, you would think that the graduate students of Harvard University would get better housing than what they get! For people who are attending one of the most prestigious universities in America, they are NOT living large! The dorm looks kind of like a jail cell. The room is nine by nine feet and the bathrooms are down the hall. There are kitchen lounges and TV lounges on each floor and they have many people from all over the world apply to live here! AMAZING! I am serious about all this and if anything, I am downplaying the housing description. I will take some pictures so you all can see where America's Finest attend school. If this is how the graduates live, I would hate to see how the undergraduates live.

Well, the last couple have days have been rough for me. it has been about eight months since I have picked up a cigarette and some days are still not easy. I ended up doing what Maggie suggested over on her blog. Breathe deeply! I have been taking some deep breaths and think I miss my fake cigarette but since I am not driving, I have no real need for it. I know that I need to just take it one day at a time and not smoke for today! I have noticed that when I feel stressed out I tend to think about it a bit more. Well, I need to get ready for the dinner we are having tonite.

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Ok, here I am in Provincetown at a place called the Wired Puppy Cafe drinking coffee and using their computer to post a quick blog because:1. I am used to blogging and miss seeing what is up with my fellow bloggers.2. My computer went down and I started going through some net withdrawals! There will definitely be no stalking my blog or any other for that matter!

I am not sure if the cord is defective and won't charge or I need a new battery! I used my computer on the ferry and when I got to where I was staying, the battery light was RED! Like nothing, no power, nada! Normally, if you plug the computer into the wall and the battery is weak, it will still run. This leads me to think the problem could be the power supply. Well, I guess I won't know until I get to Cambridge! I will have a way easier time finding someone to diagnose it there rather than here.

I have noticed A LOT of people smoking since I have been here and cigarettes are like $7.00 a pack! I am glad I'm not one of them. Seven bucks is a lot more than the $4.50 a pack I was paying and that was still too much.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Hey All!Wasssssssssup! I am still smoke free but let me tell you, I am in a hotel right near a Hookah lounge and really had to force myself to walk past it and not stop. For those of you who have never seen or smoked a hookah, it is smoking out of a large waterpipe and since it looks nothing like a cigarette, I was in DENIAL for a hot minute and my mind kept telling me that a little flavored hookah tobacco would be a really nice way to relax and chill. I mean, its not really smoking I told myself....I was right about to go into the lounge to go buy me some Carmel Apple flavored stuff and felt that tugging like, "That's not really a good idea." I kept walking but damn that was a close call! Its amazing how easy it is to think one thing is different than the other! I mean tobacco has Nicotine in it and for me, Nicotine is highly addictive! I used to tell myself all kinds of crazy things to justify staying high on drugs. I really have the mind of an addict! Not a good thing really.

When I got back to the hotel, I still wanted some hookah so I took a look at my laptop and looked at all of the money I have saved by giving up the disgusting habit! According to my calculations, I first started the quit process with the patch in October. I only bought one pack from October to November 11th. I then started Chantix on November 11, 2008. I have not bought any cigarettes so I have saved a total of about $1200.00! My average cost of smoking cigarettes was about $4.50 a day! It definitely adds up. I have a lot of days that have added up too. I am not exactly sure how many today but I need one of those day calculators! How do I get one? I am sick of doing it myself.

Anyway, it rained a lot today and when I came back from sightseeing, I feel deep asleep! I need to get up early to pack as I am leaving for Cape Cod, Provincetown on the afternoon ferry! I am so glad I did not rent a car here. Its super expenive to park. Besides, driving does not help with relaxing and I have really needed to relax! I will try to post again! Hope everyone is doing well.Peace,Diva

Wee Me!

About Me

I am currently blogging away about my experiences using the stop smoking drug Chantix to quit my 30 year addiction to nicotine and tobacco. I also talk about my life in general now that the cravings have subsided.