Two new dramas offer stark and disturbing depictions of specific flavors of hell on earth that crush the soul and, on occasion, tear the body to shreds. Whether above ground or below, whether the battle is fought with guns and bombs or fear and manipulation, there are no winners.

Count Dracula may stalk the Transylvanian countryside; but his origins are much closer to Bram Stoker's homeland of Ireland. As a frail child, Bram's mother whetted his appetite for the blood thirsty character by fuelling the author's imagination with supernatural tales.

Although Van Helsing was truly Dracula's primary nemesis, he was only one man in a collection of characters battling the vampire. So how is it that his individual role has turned out to be so influential? It is simple, really: He contributed knowledge that nobody else had.

Mockingbird Lane, the stunning, dark re-imagining of The Munsters makes its television premiere on Friday. Named for the Munster family's iconic address, the show is a visual and emotional feast, and the year's most original television dramedy.

Immortality is probably the most appealing part of the vampire mythos -- who wouldn't want to live forever, right? Deneuve and Bowie have been together since the 18th century, and it's clear that Bowie is expecting to spend eternity in a kind of connubial murderous bliss with Deneuve.

Taking a breather from our Gulf Coast miasma in order to focus on an even ghastlier blight of cultural crude washing up on American shores. No, this is not about Lady Gaga. Although, I do intend to address walking parasites.