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Dating Tips For You And Your Philias 4/7: Omorashi

Arousal experienced from having a full bladder or a sexual attraction towards those who have the feeling of a full bladder.

Examples: You needing to pee, someone else needing to pee, you and someone else simultaneously needing to pee.

Omorashi is a fetish subculture that primarily exists in Japan, which makes sense, as Japan is the birthplace of Nintendo and the terrible things people can do with an octopus. However, you don’t need to go all the way there to get that girl you’ve always dreamed about. In fact, I have steps to make her need to go potty now.Because, I see you there, Mr. Six Cups Of Water, feeling like you’re bladder is about to bust, and thus, ready for love. All you want is someone else, a special lady, tapping her foot impatiently outside the bathroom, waiting for it to become open. How can you sweep her off her feet? I’ll tell you how.

The ancient art of “Bladder-Sutra.”

Invented by the Japanese in the early 1900’s, “Bladder-Sutra” was created as a means to help couples who needed to urinate, but also needed to sex one another viciously. I, being of sound mind, have read all six books in the “Bladder-Sutra” collection, (listed below if you’re curious), and have compiled* the top 5 tips from the books.

*Due to the age/culture in which the books were written, some phrases are untranslatable, and I had to do my best. I apologize for the confusion.

Book 1: “Bladder-Sutra” by Ong Mink (1902)

Book 2: “To Push The Bladder” by Ong Mink (1903)

Book 3: “For When She Has Already Started” by Mae Su Do (1906) –Banned In Ukraine

Book 4: “For When You’ve Both Already Started” by Ong Mink (1910) – Also Banned In Ukraine

Book 5: “Apologies, For I Have Wronged” by Ong Mink (1910)

Book 6: “Tales Of Ong Mink: Stories Of An Obnoxious, Peeing Father” by Chu Mink (1922)

Tip 1: “When the water seems to be on verge, allow her to sit. When she complain, tell her that it is not her place and that you must decide when the door must be opened. Then kiss her mouth with passion and tell her “No time for sit. Now it is time to combine.” – “Bladder-Sutra”

Tip 2: “Drink nineteen cups of clean water in one hour. If regurgitation does occur, scorn yourself and say “I am not worthy.” Refrain from self throat cut. She will find honor in her dealings with such an honest, humble man and will find herself attracted. Tell her, “I have a full bladder. I will not quit until death.” – “Bladder Sutra”

Tip 3: “When the “golden dragon” (?) awakes, make sure that it is uncomfortable. When the cave is open, make sure that it is full. Spill.” – “For When She Has Already Started”

Tip 4: “If she retain water throughout ordeal, you have found a good wife. If not, tell her family that she was unable and is unfit for marriage. Her family will understand and, if of noble descent, offer one of her beautiful siblings.” – “For When You’ve Both Already Started”

Tip 5: “My father was a man with problems. Many, many problems. Often times he would yell at my mother into the bathroom, “Why? Why will you not love the way I love you.” The worst of his outbursts was at a meal one evening. My mother excused herself from the table and my father stood up and screamed “Am I not a man?” – “Tales Of Ong Mink”