Completely agree that these people were incredibly rude, but is it normal not to have turkey for TG? I can understand the assumption that "turkey went without saying". That doesn't excuse their rudeness of course, but I do understand their surprise.

I wouldn't say "normal" to have turkey, but more traditional. I personally don't care for it, so the last two years I've done roast chicken. and my two friends who come could care less. I know other folks who do ham, for the same reason. I think the guests were horribly rude, esp since they had been told the menu. Too bad they made the interesting assumption that it would be BOth turkey and ham.

The last time i spent thanksgiving with my mom, we went out. and invited my BFF from college who lives near her. She however, prefers the traditional home-cooked turkey dinner, with all the fixings, and wasn't thrilled about going out, so she graciously declined. and did not show up, whining a bout how HER Thanksgiving was ruined since we went out.

If she wanted it, she should have cooked it herself.

Or is that too logical?

Logged

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Completely agree that these people were incredibly rude, but is it normal not to have turkey for TG? I can understand the assumption that "turkey went without saying". That doesn't excuse their rudeness of course, but I do understand their surprise.

I wouldn't say "normal" to have turkey, but more traditional. I personally don't care for it, so the last two years I've done roast chicken. and my two friends who come could care less. I know other folks who do ham, for the same reason. I think the guests were horribly rude, esp since they had been told the menu. Too bad they made the interesting assumption that it would be BOth turkey and ham.

The last time i spent thanksgiving with my mom, we went out. and invited my BFF from college who lives near her. She however, prefers the traditional home-cooked turkey dinner, with all the fixings, and wasn't thrilled about going out, so she graciously declined. and did not show up, whining a bout how HER Thanksgiving was ruined since we went out.

If she wanted it, she should have cooked it herself.

Or is that too logical?

Oh she did. For herself. My mom and I don't really care for the whole traditional meal, which is why we went out. She wasn't an SS at all. She preferred to do her own traditional meal, which includes the "dreaded green bean casserole", so she said thanks, but no thanks. Wasn't an issue set all

I will not travel eight hours to see you to have you a) glued to the tv and b) wander off in the middle of our visit leaving me sitting alone in your house.

It's crazy that you would have to tell a "loved one" this, but I've seen it before. My friend, Rachel, had stopped visiting her sister over it. Rachel is single and childless, while her sister, Sarah, is married with two kids. Sarah insisted that Rachel had to come see her to visit, because it was easier for one person to travel the six hour drive than for her to take her husband and kids to the large city where Rachel lives. Rachel would make the drive and show up, only to find that Sarah had planned to go to a party, go to lunch with friends, or had appointments/plans almost every day while Rachel was there. She would insist that Rachel should just wait at the house because it would be rude for Sarah to invite Rachel to someone else's party, include her in lunch plans with other people or take her to appointments with her. If Rachel said, "Maybe you could schedule these plans when I'm not in town?"then her sister would get highly indignant about how it wasn't her fault that she had so many friends and Rachel wasn't the only one with a busy life.

So Rachel, sick of sitting around the house, just stopped accepting the invitations/summons. Rachel loved the kids, but she was also tired of serving as an unpaid and largely unappreciated babysitter for her niece and nephew. Sarah got really ugly about it, but Rachel hasn't been to see her since. Based on some statements Sarah made during her accusations of Rachel being "unloving" and "selfish," Rachel thinks Sarah has some deep-insecurities about living in a small suburban town, raising children, while Rachel is a young professional living in a large city. Rachel thinks Sarah feels the need to show how busy and important she is by having a constant cycle of events while Rachel is in town. I was pretty proud of Rachel for dropping the rope and walking away.

DS told him not to worry, he was never hosting them again so they could have their dinner exactly the way they wanted it.

ETA: Their overwhelming disappointment didn't stop anyone from stuffing their faces and taking home leftovers.

Good for your son!

I would not have let them take home leftovers though - once they insult the food they wouldn't be exposed to it any more.

I agree.

I think a lot of us saw that it wouldn't turn out good when you described DS's family. There were horrendously rude, but at least it sounds like no valuables were taken . All the work and preparation for the bunch of ingrates will not be in vain if DS keeps his shiny new spine for years to come.

I will not travel eight hours to see you to have you a) glued to the tv and b) wander off in the middle of our visit leaving me sitting alone in your house.

It's crazy that you would have to tell a "loved one" this, but I've seen it before. My friend, Rachel, had stopped visiting her sister over it. Rachel is single and childless, while her sister, Sarah, is married with two kids. Sarah insisted that Rachel had to come see her to visit, because it was easier for one person to travel the six hour drive than for her to take her husband and kids to the large city where Rachel lives. Rachel would make the drive and show up, only to find that Sarah had planned to go to a party, go to lunch with friends, or had appointments/plans almost every day while Rachel was there. She would insist that Rachel should just wait at the house because it would be rude for Sarah to invite Rachel to someone else's party, include her in lunch plans with other people or take her to appointments with her. If Rachel said, "Maybe you could schedule these plans when I'm not in town?"then her sister would get highly indignant about how it wasn't her fault that she had so many friends and Rachel wasn't the only one with a busy life.

So Rachel, sick of sitting around the house, just stopped accepting the invitations/summons. Rachel loved the kids, but she was also tired of serving as an unpaid and largely unappreciated babysitter for her niece and nephew. Sarah got really ugly about it, but Rachel hasn't been to see her since. Based on some statements Sarah made during her accusations of Rachel being "unloving" and "selfish," Rachel thinks Sarah has some deep-insecurities about living in a small suburban town, raising children, while Rachel is a young professional living in a large city. Rachel thinks Sarah feels the need to show how busy and important she is by having a constant cycle of events while Rachel is in town. I was pretty proud of Rachel for dropping the rope and walking away.

It wasn't even like they had an appointment, just took phone calls, went off to other rooms in the house, basically went about their day as if we weren't there. Once I realised it was just us in the room I suggested a quick exit (they live walking distance to other relatives). Everyone there acts the same though which is why I won't go back, or if I do I make sure we've got plans with friends in the city so we aren't left sitting around waiting for people to deign us with their presence.

Completely agree that these people were incredibly rude, but is it normal not to have turkey for TG? I can understand the assumption that "turkey went without saying". That doesn't excuse their rudeness of course, but I do understand their surprise.

Many groups of my extended family have ham or goose or duck or even roast beef for Thanksgiving.

Logged

ďAll that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."-J.R.R Tolkien

I did have to chuckle, though, when he called me Wednesday night ranting about his roommate who Won't Even Take Out the Trash! And Leaves His Stuff All Over! Doesn't he realize how hard DS has been working to clean the apartment? Ah, sweet karma...

I, too, was regaled with stories of how DD's apartment mate doesn't clean dishes and leaves messed. I said "THAT MUST BE REALLY ANNOYING WHEN PEOPLE YOU LIVE WITH DON'T CLEAN UP AFTER THEMSELVES!!!". But I don't think she got the hint.

Completely agree that these people were incredibly rude, but is it normal not to have turkey for TG? I can understand the assumption that "turkey went without saying". That doesn't excuse their rudeness of course, but I do understand their surprise.

It's not a law. And a lot of people really don't "like" turkey that much, if they tell the truth. It's just ... always done.

That is why this year we had some turkey and ham...my kids don't like the turkey. But I agree with others, you have to have SOME turkey.

Completely agree that these people were incredibly rude, but is it normal not to have turkey for TG? I can understand the assumption that "turkey went without saying". That doesn't excuse their rudeness of course, but I do understand their surprise.

It's not a law. And a lot of people really don't "like" turkey that much, if they tell the truth. It's just ... always done.

We actually discussed this over our delicious smoked turkey this year. We all like turkey. The same way we like chicken. It tastes fine and isn't bad to have. But it's particularly special to us or something we adore having. So we agreed, next year, we're doing steaks. We rarely cook steaks, we like steak (once in a while) but it's not cheap and it's just easier to fix some chicken for dinner. So we want to have steaks! And shrimp! It's nice enough to grill out where I live and we figured, might as well have something special on our holiday.