Suffering and Silence

I've decided to be brave and post Suffering and Silence, my first ever fanfic, on here today. Please, please, PLEASE point out any grammar or spelling errors. I don't always catch them myself. Also, if you have any suggestions on how to change it up a little, or make it clearer, let me know! Thanks!

Padmé

She could feel the hands on her neck, choking her. She was gasping for air, precious air. He wouldn't let go. The hatred was burning in his eyes. He was a monster.

Padmé Amidala Skywalker's eyes flew open. She reached over for the comforting presence of Anakin, but the bed was empty. Her eyes filled with tears. He was dead.

Padmé reached over for her robe and got out of bed, drawing the robe close around her. She softly glided to the window and leaned against it, letting her hot forehead become cooled by the glass. The sun was slowly rising above the water, painting the sky with shades of pink, gold, and orange. The gentle wind moved gently through the trees, creating a soft music. Naboo was one of the most beautiful places in the galaxy. But Padmé's eyes did not see all the beauty. Her ears did not hear the sounds. Her heart did not take delight in the surroundings. For in her heart there was nothing but grayness and sorrow. All of her dreams, her hopes, her future had been shattered into a thousand pieces that could not be put together.

She reached up and took hold of a chain hanging around her neck. Her hand moved down to the carved japor pendent dangling against her heart. Padmé pressed the pendent to her crimson lips. She remembered in detail when Anakin had given the pendent to her. He was only a little boy of nine, leaving home for the first time. She had been fourteen, Queen of Naboo. He had left his mother, Shmi, back on Tatooine to remain as a slave. It was Anakin who had won the pod race that would enable Padmé and her two Jedi protectors, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, to make their repairs to Padmé's ship and go on to Corsucant to save her people. The win had also freed Anakin to become Qui-Gon's padawan.

Padmé had come into the room to find Anakin huddled on a chair, shivering. He told her that he was cold and she had informed him that space was cold. He had then given her the pendent, telling her that he had made it for her so she would never forget him. Padmé had assured him that she could never forget him.

“I'm going to marry you.” The little boy voice echoed in her mind. She had laughed, not believing him but he had insisted; because that's what he felt in his heart. Anakin had been a special boy. He had strong reflexes. He had the makings of a Jedi Knight.

After the Battle of Naboo and after the death of Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan took Anakin to be his Padawan, training him to become a Jedi.

Ten years later, Padmé's life had been in danger. Someone wanted to kill her. The Jedi Council assigned two Jedi to protect her. The two Jedi were Obi-Wan and Anakin. Obi-Wan set out to find her attacker, while Anakin took her to Naboo, to protect her. Little did the Jedi Council know that Anakin would break his tie to the Jedi, and marry.

Padmé walked out onto the balcony overlooking the water. Here is where they were married. She and he knew that what they were doing was wrong, but they believed with all their hearts that their love would protect them from everything.

Anakin and Padmé went to Tatooine, to save Anakin's mother from death. Anakin had had visions about her dying and he was worried about her. Anakin got to see his mother right before she died. He then took revenge on the Sand People who had captured her, killing them all. Little did they know that it was his first step down the path that would lead to his ruin.

The Clone Wars started, and as the battles raged on, Anakin and Padmé were increasingly separated. She worried about his safety constantly and he worried about her on Coruscant while she served in the Senate. Three years after the war started, Padmé met Anakin after a fierce battle over Coruscant with the news. He was to be a father. Anakin again had dreams as he had before his mother died. This time they were about Padmé.

Padmé sighed. Anakin had been so terrified about her dying. She remembered how he had vowed to save her from death. He went to Palpatine for advice. Padmé's lips tightened as she remembered Palpatine's kindly, fatherly face. Everyone had believed in him, hoping, praying that he would hold the fracturing Republic together. He was the Republic's greatest enemy.

She remembered in detail that last day. Anakin had been gone for hours. She listened for his footstep in the hall. The baby inside her had moved very fast that day, almost like it was scared of something. Obi-Wan had come in, wanting to know if she had seen Anakin. That was when he had guessed that Anakin and she were married. When dark fell that evening, Anakin had stopped by to tell her that there had been an uprising that afternoon, but everything was fine. He had to go on a mission but he would be home soon. Padmé closed her eyes tight, willing her mind to shut out everything. The Jedi Temple had been destroyed by a monster. Anakin Skywalker had died and a Sith Lord, Darth Vader, had been born in his place.

Palpatine had declared the Republic was no more. An Empire was created, with him as its' Emperor. The death of liberty had happened with applause, much to Padmé's horror. She believed in democracy.

She didn't really know why she had followed him. She wanted to talk to him, find out what was happening. Mustafar was a planet filled with lava. She found out then. Her husband was gone. He told her he did this for them, for their child and the other children they would have. They were going to overthrow Emperor Palpatine, and she and he would rule the galaxy together; going against all of Padmé's beliefs. She had started crying then, knowing that he had taken a path that she could not follow. Obi-Wan had come out from hiding in Padmé's ship to talk to Anakin. Vader was horrified. He accused Padmé of bringing Obi-Wan to kill him. In his anger, he Force-choked Padmé. She remembered no more.

Padmé had woken up in a medical station in space. Obi-Wan was there with her, encouraging her. He had fought with Vader, killing him. Twins were born to Padmé. A son who looked like his father and a daughter who looked like her mother. Luke and Leia.

The medical droid told Obi-Wan that Padmé would not live. Nothing was wrong with her physically, but she had lost the will to live. Her spirit was dying. Obi-Wan had walked over to Padmé. He sat down with Luke in his arms and told Padmé to look at him.

“Padmé, look at this baby. He represents the hope for the galaxy. He's your son. He needs you. He needs you alive. What help can you give him when you're dead?”

“He's dead, Obi-Wan. What do I have to live for?”

“You have two children to live for. I'm certain this is what Anakin would have wanted. He would have wanted you to teach your children how to be fair and right. He would have wanted them to be trained in the ways of the Jedi. Take him.”

Padmé took baby Luke in her arms. He was so small, yet Obi-Wan placed his hope in him. Luke opened his eyes and looked into his mother's eyes. They were so blue; blue like Anakin's. Obi-Wan was right. They needed her to live, not die.

Obi-Wan brought Leia over. She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. “They need me, Obi-Wan. I'm going to live for them.” Obi-Wan smiled and looked down at Leia. He seemed about to say something when Padmé laid a small hand on his arm. He looked up at her. “Obi-Wan, there's still good in him. I can feel it.”

He slowly shook his head. “No, he's gone. I killed him.”

She shook her head sadly. “No, he didn't die. Anakin Skywalker may be dead, buried within this Sith who is alive.”

Luke and Leia started to cry. Padmé gently patted Luke on the back. “There now, don't cry. Mama's got you, Luke. You're safe here with me and sister. There's no reason to fuss.” She reached out her other arm for Leia and kissed her forehead. “You're such a darling girl. You don't need to cry. I won't let anything happen to you. No, I won't let it.”

“You need your rest, Padmé,” Obi-Wan commanded. “And so do the babies. I have somethings to do. I'll come back and check on you in a few hours.”

Padmé nodded. Obi-Wan took Leia and laid her in a crib. Luke was gently placed beside her. Padmé smiled. “Look at how beautiful they look together.” Obi-Wan nodded his head, then left.

He contacted Yoda to come for the most important meeting that they would have.

Yoda and Senator Bail Organa came to the station a few hours later. Obi-Wan had a meeting room set up and waiting. Yoda and Senator Organa sat down. Obi-Wan paced back and forth. “Calm your mind, you must, Obi-Wan,” Yoda said. “Or no decision you will make.”

Padmé came in then, dressed in black. She was holding her children. Obi-Wan pulled a chair out for her and then he too sat down. “A terrible thing, this has been to the galaxy and Jedi,” Yoda said. “Protect ourselves, we must.”

Senator Organa leaned forward. “We must protect the children and Senator Amidala as much as possible.”

Yoda nodded and slowly blinked his large eyes. “Hide them from the Emperor we must.”

Padmé did not look up. Obi-Wan looked at the children in her arms. He licked his lips. “I think we need to separate the children from each other and their mother.” Senator Organa nodded his head. “I will take the girl. My wife and I will adopt her. She will be raised as a princess on Alderaan.”

“Good, good,” Yoda approved. “Leia Organa, she will become.”

“I will take Luke to his family on Tatooine. I will also stay there, living nearby so as to watch over his upbringing,” Obi-Wan said. “And then I shall begin his training in the way of the Jedi when he is old enough.”

Senator Organa asked, “What will you do, Master Yoda?”

“To Dagobah, I will go. Safe I will be there.”

Obi-Wan put a hand on Padmé's arm. “What will you do, Padmé?”

She replied, not looking up, “I will go to Naboo and go into hiding, taking the name Padmé Naberrie.”

Padmé was sitting by the window looking out into space. She was alone. The babies were being readied for their journeys. Bail Organa came in, holding Leia. “It is time for us to go.” She turned to him. Senator Organa held the baby out to her. Padmé cradled Leia close to her, gently rocking back and forth. “I charge you with the care of my darling. Teach her to be always good and right. Treat her like the jewel she is.” Senator Organa nodded, deeply moved by her words. Padmé looked into Leia's face once more, kissed her on the forehead, and hugged her tightly. Leia started to cry. “Take her and keep her safe.” Padmé handed Leia to Senator Organa and turned away, her shoulders shaking. He quickly left the room. Padmé hurried to a window and watched the ship bound for Alderaan depart and head into hyperspace. Another piece of Padmé's heart tore from her.

Obi-Wan noted the ship leave. He felt his heart sink. He had hoped that it wouldn't happen so soon and so fast. Ideally there would have been a few hours between both of the babies' leave taking, but there wasn't time. Yoda shuffled into the room beside him. “Obi-Wan, before you leave, a last mission for you, I have.”

Obi-Wan turned to face the little green alien. “What is it, Master?”

“Escort Miss Naberrie to Naboo and make sure she is safe. Then you will take young Skywalker to safety.”

“Won't that be dangerous? Someone on Naboo will be sure to recognize me.”

“Young Skywalker, remain with me he will. Be safe, you will. Now go, and prepare Miss Naberrie.”

Yoda turned to face out the window and Obi-Wan turned with a sigh towards the door.

“Padmé.”

“Is it time for Luke to leave, Obi-Wan?” There was no trace of tears in her voice, but it betrayed her feelings.

“It is time for you to leave. I'm escorting you to Naboo.”

Padmé picked up Luke, who was sleeping. “I love you, Luke Skywalker. I want to tell you something. You look like your daddy. He was a good man. And I know he would love you. I'll be watching you from afar. Obi-Wan will tell me about you and how you're growing up. I'll always be praying for you.”

Obi-Wan was staring at the streaks of light that were stars in space. They had gone to lightspeed a few minutes ago and he was nervous. Padmé was sitting in the co-pilot seat beside him, twirling a curl around one finger. “The last time I was escorted to Naboo, many strange things happened. I have a feeling that this time will be no different.” There was a pause. “Take good care of him, Obi-Wan. Don't let anyone spread lies about Anakin. You know best about when to tell him things, though.”

“I will make sure he is safe. Trust me.”

A tear slipped down Padmé's cheek. “I don't know if I can trust anymore.”

When the two arrived in Theed, it was raining softly. Obi-Wan hurried Padmé into a closed landspeeder and then jumped into the driver's seat. “I know it's a short walk to the river, but we're in here to protect you.” Obi-Wan explained, lifting a hand to shield him from questions. But she wasn't listening to him. Rather, she was staring out of the window, lost in her memories. She saw the palace, where so much had happened. The little walkway where Anakin had spoken of his belief that things would change in the galaxy in their lifetime. Padmé's lip quivered then, for the galaxy had changed. “If only...” her voice trailed off. Obi-Wan nodded sympathetically. “If only we knew what would happen.” She shook her head. “It's not like that at all.” She didn't want to speak though, and he didn't press her.

A boat was waiting at the dock to take them to the Lake Country. “I understand it's beautiful out there.” Obi-Wan remarked, trying to get Padmé off her thoughts. “I've always wanted to see more of Naboo than what I saw as a Padawan.”

“It's beautiful. Quiet and secluded.” Her eyes drifted to the horizon again.

“It should be the perfect place for you to hide then.”

“It's a wonderful place to hide in. No one ever bothers you.”

“It's alright to cry, you know. It won't make anyone think less of you. Sometimes when people have traumatic events happen to them, they turn bitter. I think crying would help a person release that bitterness.”

“No, I can't cry. It's not what I would do.”

Padmé walked up the steps of the balcony that she knew so well. It had stopped raining and the sun was shining just a bit. Obi-Wan came behind, marveling at the beauty of this planet. “There. There is where we were married.” Padmé pointed to a place next to the railing. He turned and looked at the place, noting how Padmé's face softened as she remembered something good about the past. A feeling tugged at his heart, telling him that this was one of the reasons Anakin had...but no. He couldn't spoil this memory of hers. “You're all settled, then? I think you'll be safe here.”

Padmé smiled at him. “Thank you, Obi-Wan. I will be fine.”

He took her hand and squeezed it softly. “Be brave, Padmé. We will be alright. I will contact you at least once a week, if not more. I will try to send holopictures of Luke so you can see how he is growing. I will also ask Senator Organa to do the same with Leia.”

She smiled gratefully again. “I don't want my children to be strangers, if I ever see them again. I understand that they can't see my picture.”

“Unfortunately, that's the way it has to be. Now, I will do the contacting. It's not safe for you to contact me. Padmé, I feel the Force in you-”

“No! Don't, please.”

He nodded. “I know. I know.” He hugged her.

“Obi-Wan, you're like a second father to me.”

“And you're like the daughter I will never have. I'll always be there for you. And I have something to ask you. I have Anakin's lightsaber. What do you want me to do with it?”

Padmé looked down and then out over the water. “Keep it. Save it for Luke.”

Padmé opened her eyes and leaned on the balcony. The sun was sparkling over the water and the air seemed to echo with Anakin's voice. Had it been only yesterday? Yesterday, when her twins were born. Yesterday, when her family was separated. Yesterday, when Obi-Wan brought her here. Yesterday, when she had vowed not to cry. A footstep sounded behind her, sounding very much like Anakin's. She turned, half expecting to see his beloved face with the easy smile and the teasing, intense look in his eyes. But she was alone. Padmé clutched the japor pendent and collapsed where she had stood as a bride, sobbing.