'I had to pull over and take half a Xanax': the toll of documenting US gun violence

This year has seen a deluge of documentaries and feature films dedicated to gun violence. Here, directors talk about what it’s like to work on them and deal with the pain and pressure that comes with filming about the divisive topic

John Richie, 91% – A Documentary about Guns in America: ‘There are normal people in the NRA too’

I drove from New Orleans to Nashville for the NRA convention. I had sent the NRA requests for an interview but they never responded. I thought, if I’m saying 91% of Americans want background checks – and I don’t want people saying the data is skewed to push an agenda – I should test that number there. I did interviews with NRA members as they were walking into the convention. Some shied away from the camera but no one was confrontational. I talked to 15 people on camera in four hours. They said: “You’re probably not going to like what I have to say”, but while many did not want to regulate assault weapons or the size of clips, 13 of the 15 were absolutely for background checks. Yes, there are trolls out there doing crazy things for the NRA but there are normal people in the NRA too. It’s the leadership that are all lobbyists on behalf of the gun manufacturers and ammunition people.

Kim Snyder, Newtown: ‘It was hard to do this without going over the line or feeling prurient’

A lot of the process was collaborative, it was about the survivors bearing witness. We felt an exploration together could be a catharsis. We had many off-camera conversations first. I was not interested in having someone re-traumatized. I would get on phone with trauma experts to ask: “Should I be concerned?” about certain topics. It was never: “Let’s just go there and see how this goes.”

It was hard to do this without going over the line or feeling prurient. We let them lead us. When Nicole Hockley took us to see the where the shooter’s house had been it was shocking. But it was something she needed to do. The film was therapeutic in a way for certain people. With the older siblings of the victims I trusted the parents to decide but I didn’t want those kids to feel mute. Making this film was incredibly difficult. We did not keep up emotional barriers and over the years we became friends with these people, so the interviews and the editing became more painful.

Stephanie Soechtig, Under the Gun: ‘I always note where the nearest exit is in movie theaters’

On my way to Newtown, I had a full panic attack. I had to pull my car over and take half a Xanax. I was caught off guard by the anxiety. Typically you build a wall and turn off your emotions to do your job; I was blindsided by it. It was incredibly difficult, but I felt ashamed and embarrassed because look at what the families went through. I spent 18 months fully immersed in this, living through every parent’s worst nightmare over and over and over again. It is secondary PTSD but to say that feels so self-indulgent. I became hypervigilant and borderline paranoid whenever my son left the house. I always note where the nearest exit is in movie theaters.

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You sit with the parents and ask these questions that are excruciating. You feel bad making them relive this and you have to be mindful that you are not exploiting their story but also you need to cover all the ground. You wonder how much you can ask. With Aurora and the footage, we pushed the envelope a little bit. I feel we gloss over it too much. There are so many things you are weighing, for the audience and the families. I was so stressed out about making it respectful but effective. It’s an intricate dance.

AJ Schnack, Speaking Is Difficult: ‘It’s hard to wrap your brain around the fact that there’s no end in sight’

We decided to go back to 2011 because our researchers showed something changed then with the frequency of mass shootings. And we ended it with Tuscon and Gabrielle Giffords because the question is always: “Why doesn’t Congress act?” and you thought they would do something when one of their own gets shot and still nothing could be done. It was wrenching listening to those calls. Some are an hour or longer; it becomes beyond difficult to listen. In some we had to dial it back for the viewer. At the Sikh temple in Wisconsin … when the caller stops and you hear the gun shots, that was one of the most difficult. But the next one was Aurora and we needed to give people a little break at least so we started just with the report coming in. We’ve committed to update the film and added the shootings in Dallas and Orlando. But we wait for a critical mass and then update it. We cannot do it every time or it would drive us crazy. I’m never numb to these shootings but it’s a gut-wrenching feeling knowing we’ll never be able to catch up. It’s hard to wrap your brain around the fact that there’s no end in sight.

Robert Greenwald, Making a Killing: Guns, Greed and the NRA: ‘My grief and pain turned to real rage’

I did not anticipate what living with these completely unnecessary deaths would be like. The stronger I saw the monetary connection with the NRA, the more my grief and pain turned to real rage. People advised me not to do the film, saying the NRA are bullies and would threaten us or sue us. They did not take an official position, using the philosophy “don’t give too much attention to your enemies”, but at some screenings NRA supporters would show up and be hostile and threatening. In Los Angeles they went online to try to fill all the seats with NRA supporters. During the interviews I would make sure to get out from behind the camera, to physically be as close as I could, to be in the same physical and emotional space to allow them to have the most emotional experience. So I found myself in tears during the interviews.

Tim Sutton, Dark Night: ‘There was a conscious decision to never let the audience off the hook’

In a social issue documentary you can’t use the same cinematic language. My movie is fiction so you can craft the story. The dread it induces is meant to be palpable and never let go, with no catharsis at the end. There was a conscious decision to never let the audience off the hook. But I felt it too. Going into the editing room every day and trying to make it so hard to watch created a relentless darkness to wade through. What was worse was that two more mass shootings happened while we were editing. I felt like I was in the eye of a storm. That’s why we added the news report from [Aurora killer] James Holmes’s trial and the audio of the mass shooting at the movie theater in Lafayette, to say that this is not Aurora, this is constantly happening, this is a living document. The second screening at Sundance was in the exact same kind of movie theater we used for our shooting. It was the most harrowing experience you could possibly have. You walk out of there and you are thankful you are alive.