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My Dark Secrets

I will talk to you as if you were an angel with all the powers of light and love, as if you were my personal angel, there for me always with infinite unconditional kind regard.

I will tell you my dark secrets.

They are my thoughts, spoken words, gestures and deeds that I call bad. It is not that I want to harm anyone. Well, what goes on in people who harm others? I have harmed people but maybe not knowingly or willingly.

When I want someone to think like me because if they don’t I’m afraid to lose my face, space, possessions, my life? Then I might go and manipulate them? Ok, ok, old story….

What I really mean is I am still at this business of harshly judging myself, even sentence myself to death just so someone else might not kill or torture me into their ways. I am not living in a country where I am in danger. So why do I feel these extremes in me??

I’ll tell you what, I am actually bored to even analyze this! All I really want now is to relax and admire all the good there is about me and laugh! Do myself loads of favors for a change! I need to say this to you because I need help to do so. I keep slipping back into my old habits. Please, take these words out of my mouth and transform them with your light into laughter!

I know you’ll do anything to help when I ask you. I love you from the bottom of my heart and deeply appreciate you when I remember you are there. I wish I would remember you more often.

To come to a closing here I have one more wish. Please send me someone who loves the songs I sing and will play the guitar for me. Many thanks in advance.