My friend and i have been using it for a while but all the sudden, mid convo it stopped working her phone has been stuck at the icon that says she is on the phone for over a day now and my messages wont go through. Any one have any ideas on how to fix it

Actually, right now, as we speak, its between many many users. Believe me.

But if you want to troubleshoot it, both of you delete each other as contact in your BBMessenger list.
Do a powered on battery pull reboot. Confirm neither of you is in the others Contacts on BBM... now one of you add the other back via PIN.

And if it doesn't work for a couple hours, don't be surprised.

For example, right now I can BBM with a friend in CA, but another in OR and NJ, we cannot.