Nominated for: a divisive, mean-spirited, mendacious campaign to convince the British people to commit economic and political suicide

The Ghosts say: Michael has managed to drag the referendum debate back into a politics of fear at every turn, employing sleaze, scaremongering, and spectacularly bullshitting statistics.

Whether it is telling the public not to listen to experts, blaming immigrants for the UK’s structural problems exacerbated by his own government, or comparing people who disagree with him to Nazis, Gove has ticked every box to become 2016’s pantomime villain of the year, and is likely to be TMB’s Wanker of the Week, Masturbator of the Month, Anus of the Annus and Self-abuser of the century.

Well done Mike!*

Honourable mention to: Boris Johnson

Boris was only narrowly pipped to the post by Gove for Wanker of the Week. Incidentally, has anyone noticed how Bojo’s hair is suddenly neater, and he doesn’t endearingly stutter or say ‘ah’ or ‘um’ as much? It’s almost as if his bumbling, lovable, all-round Good Chappishness was just a persona that is slipping away now that he wants you to take him seriously…

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*If you are still wavering over whether to vote in or out in tomorrow’s referendum, it may be worth considering the enticing bonus that if Britain remains in the EU Michael Gove has promised he will resign. Food for thought…