transparency

The beginning of joy and the end of sorrow, or the beginning of pain and the end or happiness.

Not joy. But happiness. Because that is what’s temporary.

I can go every day and say that I am joyful, that’s not a lie and that’s not a difficult thing to say. But to speak of happiness, hurts. Because it has long since fled from me, it hides in the shadows of my mind and occasionally it comes out to see the light once again. However, it’s quick to disappear.

It can disappear with one action, one word, and only a few know how to build it back up within a matter of seconds, and I’ll keep those people forever.

See the thing is though, my heart doesn’t break for my own, it breaks for others, or the thought that they might have to go through what I had to go through; and that’s what hurts.

But all is well. Maybe one day I’ll figure out what eats me alive from the inside. Maybe one day I’ll be able to pinpoint it out on a map and help people with this same problem. I don’t mind the suffering though, it means I’m alive. And what more could I ask for than to live this life full of adventure?

There is so much to do, so many people to impact and so many people to be impacted by. So much love to give, and so much love to receive.

“One day I’ll find my purpose, but until then I will wander. I will wander freely and without limitation.”