Wednesday, 24 December 2014

*WARNING: This post includes grossly soppy phrases such as 'Wouldn't be the person I am today', 'Strength', 'I am brave' and therefore this is the most cringefest post ever.*

Well I am currently sat curled up on my bed eating Christmas biscuits, listening to some soppy music, sipping tea and blogging having just finished my last working day of 2014 (Okay well I was when I wrote that sentence but I didn't finish my blog post in time so this is now a day later I am posting). Never ever ever ever this time last year could I have visioned I'd open a blog post with a statement like that. Well, obviously the first half was gonna happen but the whole working thing was a shock. I want this to be the last blog post of 2014 and I have an awful lot to say so it's a long one. Please don't feel like you have to read it. OH I really need to stop telling people to stop reading my blog... But yeah this is gonna get soppy so if you're not the sentimental crap type, the exits over there on the red cross in the corner.

SO let's start off with reading this post - The Final Confessions of 2013 - Okay if you can't be arsed to read it, to summarize the end of 2013 sucked like no end of year ever before, I was well and truly ready to forget 2013 existed and I was freaking out because I didn't know where I'd be in a years time. Oh if only time machines existed, I'd go back and be like 'CHILL YOUR BEANS, YOU'RE GONNA BE EVEN BETTER THAN OKAY!'.

Then a few days later I got drunk, fell through a door and produced this blog post - Happy New Year (Real original title I know) - First of all, how embarrassing is it that I opened the first blog post of 2014 with a story of me drunk and making an arse of myself? I swear to spare you from such monstrosities in 2015...that's a total lie I love it and drunk sharing is caring. So back to the point, I wrote this post on how I wanted to set myself some goals for 2014. Without sounding toooo much like an obnoxious git, I well and truly smashed those goals as seen below:

Don't you just read those 3 bullet points and think 'N'aaaaw', wasn't I cute?

Growing My Blog

This has to be the biggest one of all. A year ago my blog was this measly little rambling piece of internet and it now ranks as one of the Top 10 Student Lifestyle Blogs, has worked with major brands such as Cadbury, Logitech and House of Fraser, is viewed from all over the world, more than doubled in daily views and is supported by so many incredibly wonderful people online and offline. I never envisioned that within a year my entire life would change thanks to this tiny corner of the internet. I feel beyond lucky and blessed that I did what I did best and stumbled head first into it. I achieved all of this in just 1 year and all I can say is I can't wait to see what I can do in another year!

Get Employed

I remember writing that bullet point so halfheartedly and thinking 'Not an ice cubes chance in hell'. I checked Time Hop this morning (That app you love and hate because it makes you resent anything you ever did on Facebook and Twitter along with any outfit and hairstyle you opted for) and I had just been rejected by a job I thought was THE dream job on Christmas Eve. I had posted how it was the final straw for what had been a rough time and was slowly losing all hope. Firstly I wish to go back and slap my total apparent emo self for moping online and secondly to be like IT'S ALL GONNA BE OKAY. It may have taken months and months and months and hundreds and hundreds of applications and a summer of being the Kennel Queen/Dog Whisperer again but I landed a wonderful/perfect/dream job in October. I couldn't be happier nor more proud of myself for staying with my dreams and pursuing something when so many people told me I was never going to achieve. I even took some stupid risks that at the time everyone told me I was mad but now realise it was a good thing. Go risk taking me!

Be Brave

This was one is my best. Without the violins and the sympathy, I left 2013 rather broken. *WARNING THIS REALLY IS GOING TO BE CHEESY*. I felt like I was really on rock bottom and someone needed to come and scrape me off the floor. And then I realised no one was coming to save me and I needed to do this myself. So I decided I was becoming my own hero. I had zero confidence, no self belief and no hope. Yet I sit here now feeling strong, loving who I am, loving my life and feeling quite unstoppable. Most importantly I feel brave. I'd say 80% of all of that came from this blog. I started 2014 with this blog as my biggest and deepest secret. By summer 2014 I fell out of the blogging closet with a bump and now all of my friends and family are aware this exists. This blog has changed my life in so many ways and it is the best thing I have ever done with my life. It made me brave and excited about challenges and changes. It made the people around me sit up and take notice of what I had become and it made me realise I am absolutely insane. We're all winners here.

Okay if you are STILL reading this blog post then WOW I respect you because even I am vomming after that last paragraph. I wanted to dedicate this post to a fewwwww people who have played a major role in this blogs success over the past year so here it goes:

Cision - For getting in touch and informing me of my blogs ranking. They have driven so much to my blog since and I don't ever think there is a way I could repay them!

Fanny Crown - the first real outreach to cross this blog and it was probably one of the best. Winning a tailor made Parisian dress and getting to wear it on one of the loveliest days of my life with my favourite people was an amazing opportunity that wouldn't have happened without Fanny Crown!

Student Life - For taking me on as Lifestyle Editor and Social Media Manager and therefore giving me the boost, confidence and experience to get here.

My friends - if they're reading this which some of them tell me they do, thanks for not laughing me out of town when you found out and actually telling me you were proud of me.

All the loyal readers who regularly keep up to date with my blog and keep me motivated even when I can't be arsed/felt like giving up. To name a few I suggest you check them out

Okay I am gonna draw this to a close as it's so awkward and soppy and you're all probably cringing yourselves inside out. I wanted to say a HUUUUUUGE thank you to anyone who has ever read, commented and followed my blog. Y'all are the best and the main reason I do this. It takes a lot for someone to willingly and openly bare all on the internet (okay not that kind of baring all you dirty minded people). I have so much respect to all the bloggers who will so openly expose their lifestyles for the entertainment, inspiration and caring of others. Like I always say, if you have ever debated blogging, don't hesitate for a second longer, you just never know where it will take you.

I think that's enough soppy writing so I am going to end with one more funny story and one more wording of wisdom. My funny story is I had my work Christmas party at my new job and I may or may have not drunkenly performed some terrible renditions of Beyonce and Taylor Swift which I can no longer live down in the office. It makes this scene below from Bridget Jones look like the winning performance of X Factor

and lastly, have a wonderful Christmas and fantastic New Year, I wish you all a world of success and happiness in 2015!

Sunday, 14 December 2014

I haven't actually said Happy Christmas on my blog yet this year. How rude of me, HAPPY CHRISTMAS. Do expect some soppy crap coming up on the blog over December because it's that sentimental time of year where we all declare it's been a tough one (which it totally has) and that next year is gonna be our year (which it totally will). But before those, I HAVE to remake one particular blog post. So here it goes:

So, last Christmas I gave you my heart but the very next day you gave it away...sorry couldn't resist, Betcha got Wham stuck in your head now, sorry not sorry. Last Christmas I wrote this post on the Best Christmas Movies. WAIT before you click the link, you need to be aware back then I had only been blogging for about 6 months so my blogging skills weren't the happy-crazy-random-funny-insane-why-do-you-still-read-this-blog standard that they are today! I reread it a few weeks ago and thought 'Really Laura, did you think that justified those Christmas movies you love so much?'. Okay go and click the link now if you really must.

You're back? Did you cringe yourself inside out at that crap blog post? Me too. So here it goes, The Ultimate Christmas Movies - REMAKE INTO SOMETHING MUCH BETTER

1. The Nightmare Before Christmas

Tim Burton you amazing piece of crazy ass genius. That's all I can say. Okay obviously I am gonna say more. I never know whether to watch this film at Halloween or at Christmas or in between, IT'S TOO HARD TO DECIDE. So many feels. But yeah, this movie is weirdly wonderful like the majority of Tim Burton's movies. I love his style and as I mentioned in that other post, I love how Tim Burton movies and Danny Elfman's music go hand in hand.

2. The Grinch

I still stand by the story of how terrified I was to actually see this film and that my mum dragged me along and I fell in love with it. I still do this day believe Jim Carrey Deserves an Oscar for his performance. It also produced the fantastic gif above which is a second favourite gif for this blog. That alone justifies why it is a fantastic Christmas movie. This is also the film that made me realise when I was small and had frizzy hair and chubby cheeks, I looked like a Who from Whoville. Seriously, I could have doubled as Cindy Lou. I'll leave you with that thought...

3. Die Hard

This HAS to be the MOST underrated Christmas movie of all time. I LOVE (I think I need to calm down) this movie. Christmas is not Christmas without Bruce Willis, a burning skyscraper and loads of quotable lines like 'Yippy-ki-yay' and 'Ho-Ho-Ho now I have a machine gun'. WHICH by the way you can buy as a Christmas jumper and I really want to but no one will get the reference and just think I am a homicidal maniac (Well, if they didn't already then this would totally confirm it). So your Christmas mission my fellow bloggers is to watch Die Hard and have your minds blown. OH and watch the transition of Bruce Willis's vest top go from a shade of Daz White to Khaki Green/Brown. Hilar.

4. Home Alone

Yeah this is the film that traumatized us all as children and is now why none of use can stand being home alone...particularly at Christmas. It's also the film that made us all realise how much we want to be home alone as kids so we could do stupid things like eat as much crap as possible, watch TV we weren't allowed to as kids and raid our siblings bedrooms/slightly destroy them. We watched with our keen little eyes as Kevin lived our dreams. You go Kevin!!

5. Elf

This is pretty much the winner as far as Christmas movies go. I was sat in the hairdressers this weekend and we both just sat their quoting Elf to each other and laughing our heads off. It's so hard not to scream SANTAAAAA when anyone says 'Santa is coming' around Christmas. This confirms to me I have the mental age of my nephew. Totaaally cool with that.

*PLOT TWIST*

Christmas Movies That Aren't Christmas Movies That Totally Should Be Christmas Movies

Yeah you didn't see that coming did you? I had to get these movies in here as I always watch them around Christmas time even though they're not specifically Christmas movies. So here it goes:

Mean Girls

Like this EVEN needs explaining. From the whole Candy Cane 'Four for you Glen Coco, YOU GO GLEN COCO' to THAT Jingle Bell Rock scene, this film was just designed for Christmas. Yes Christmas in the movie probably only last about 15 minutes but still, it's too good of a film to not be mentioned.

Bridget Jones

Okay don't even pretend to be surprised that I brought this film into it. I watched it last weekend (shock I know) and it just never ever fails to make me laugh/cry/remind me of my future. Scarily when I watched it last weekend I never felt more like Bridget Jones then I do now. It's like over night someone switched me with her. I feel more and more like this each year, I swear all I am missing is the big pants. Probably not far off it though.... why did I just write that to the internet. But seriously, a couple of nights ago I had some classic cheesy girl pop on and I was singing into my phone (cause modern day girls use their phones as mics instead of hairbrushes JEEZ) in the mirror wearing my Christmas pjs and after a few amazing X Factor worthy solos I realised I was basically the above gif. FOR REAL.

Disney

Christmas is the one time of year where it is 100% acceptable to sit around all day watching Disney movies and no one can question it or your mental age. A few Christmas faves have to be 101 Dalmations (Cute lost little puppies lost in the snow alert!) and Lady and The Tramp because Christmas is a dominant feature in that film too. I just noticed how both of these films are dog based...cray cray dog lady alert say what.

Okay there we have it, a slight improvement on last years post. PLEASE tell me what Christmas movies YOU love so I can binge on them all Christmas. No doubt I will reread this post next year and think 'What on earth was I thinking with talks of whoville, Bruce Willis's vest top and owning Bridget Jones pants' and completely redo it. But anyways, if you're still reading this sentence then go have a massive piece of cake for putting yourself through such a post of overused gifs.

Saturday, 13 December 2014

Firstly, I just want you guys to know I totally have my blogging mojo back. Like I got over the whole 'I can't be dealing with blogging right now' attitude and got back on the horse! Or the bike?! What's the saying? I don't even know. But BOOM I am here, I know I know, calm yourselves with your excitement. Try not break the internet.

How exciting is this post for you?! This is the official first ever giveaway on The Confessions Of A Professional Drama Queen (Seriously, why did I choose such a long and insane blog name I don't know). It is my massive Christmas present to you all for being so wonderful and actually wasting your lives reading the insane stuff I write. And what a way to start, I mean two of favourite things, House Of Fraser and Cocktails. Spoiling. You. Guys. If you don't like cocktails you probably don't belong here on this blog. I mean, this blog is built on a foundation of cake, handbag and cocktail fueled antics.....I really have a special way of selling myself right?!

Just a small insight from Instagram from my cocktail based lifestlye

House Of Fraser Home got in touch to giveaway this wonderful Luxe Lounge 6 Piece Mini Martini Set for Christmas. I believe no Christmas is complete without cocktails. I mean, who doesn't love a good Cosmo or Martini on Christmas day?! Every Christmas I turn into a bar-lady and whip out the cocktail shaker and get creative with the spirits before I get too drunk and cocktail goes everywhere which rarely happens I promise. With this set you get all the utensils you could possibly need to get you and your family/friends merry in style at Christmas, including a little recipe book!....Not that I am encouraging irresponsible and reckless drinking over the festive period (It's more of a nudge than an encouragement). I don't want to brag or anything but I am a bit of a pro with making cosmopolitans. Bet you all wish you were round and Drama Queen Bar on Christmas day right???

So what are you waiting for, go go go go enter and let's hope Santa brings you cocktail fueled fun for Christmas! Good luck!

Sunday, 7 December 2014

I have this brilliant picture from years ago that I am dying to use on a blog post. It was a winters night and I had been on a student night out. It had snowed so it was pretty darn cold and therefore we came home early after realising cheap alcohol and sticky clubs were not worth the sub zero temperature and promise of hypothermia. I decided to remove my tights in the living room (Yes I had worn tights as I am sensible like that). I completely slipped in the process and fell over, tights half off. My housemate caught the whole thing on camera and so I have a spectacular photo of myself lay on the floor laughing my head off with a pair of tights in the air. I mean, does that not just sum up this whole blog in a nutshell?! However I don't think it's quite professional to publicly air such a photo so I shall save it for another day...

Anyway, I wanted kick off the festive fun on my blog as we're finally in December! No shit Sherlock I know but yeah there you go. I reread my Christmas movies blog post from last year and lolled my socks off. I was quite the blogger back then...not. I will be expanding on that in a week or so but yeah lets kick off the festive fun by blogging about how much of walking disaster I am, seasonal style! I mean, you know how I cock up on a regular basis? Well if you don't you're clearly are new here. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I make Bridget Jones look like as graceful as Kate Middleton. Yehuh. So here is how I do this during the festive season:

Blogging

I could have approached my first Christmas post by blogging the crap out of a seasonal Yankee candle or Starbucks cup but instead I happily take the piss out of all of my flaws for the entertainment of my blog readers. I could also take picturesque photos of Christmas decorations and trees or frosty mornings and festive activities but no, I stick a woolly hat on my laptop and call it blog content. Enjoy.

Shopping

This is probably the biggest fail of all. We're about 2 and a half weeks away from Christmas and within the past 3 weeks I have spent more money on myself then anyone else. From Michael Kors handbags (to add to my already massive collection) to pretty dresses to designer coats. I HAVE A PROBLEM PEOPLE. Every time I go out with the intention to buy Christmas presents I come home with a new outfit and no Christmas presents. Santa mate, you're gonna have to get off your arse and take over for me this year.

Clothes

Me and the girls at work have spent weeks discussing Christmas party outfits. Obviously as it is Christmas you want to get that extra special dress for the occasion. I have been in every, and I am not exaggerating (really I am not), every high street store ever and I cannot find a dress! According to British Christmas fashion this year it's either go as a sparkly porn star or a velvet sausage in a midi dress. I mean, without sounding too much like your mother, is it possible to buy a dress that doesn't partake as a top or a belt?! I want length and sophistication people! When I am stumbling all over the shop smashed out my face I want to look classy as I do it!

General Accidents

I am on top form this year I must admit. I am not that clumsy normally but I seem to be particularly outdoing myself this year. I am like Bambi on ice. This week I slipped down the office stairs (cringe for me), tripped up on my way home from work and the best was last night when I drunkenly stumbled home on the phone to my friend and walked into a car. And not just a small car, I mean a full on big ass white Nissan Juke. I proceeded to rant to my friend about how outrageous it was that there was a car in my way. How I woke up in my own bed this morning I just don't know. Let's just say, as soon as the proper snow and ice hits, I can predict an over night stay in A&E for sure...

Marketing

I am such a sucker for a pretty Christmas advert or product. I bought a tin of M&S shortbread biscuits today purely because the tin had a scotty dog on it. If that's not an easy sell I don't know what is. I am defintiely the person John Lewis aims all their Christmas crap at because I fall for it everytime.

And there we have it, the many ways I fail at Christmas. I wanted to hear your biggest Christmas fails and get a whole Christmas failure discussion going so shout if you too can cock up like no other. If I am honest I have really held back. I could have told you about the great Christmas holidays of 2012 when I spent a good 7 days being drunk, destroying the family Christmas tree and bringing disgrace to the family name. What can I say, it's a none stop festive party when I am about. Promise I have matured a little since then...

And in the words of Miranda Lambert:

'Run and hide your crazy and start actin' like a lady' - working on it!