here’s the down & dirty: the paint business has been in the red, a lot. I should have been selling the paint for about $85 a gallon, because that’s what it costs. but I don’t, ‘cause this is tucson & I NEED the paint, like bad, so I do what any mainlining color addict would do, I work a side job so I get my hands on the good stuff. the other job, interior designer, was cool & generated enough income so I could subsidize the paint biz. which means I’ve been kinda working for free, but I could get smashing colors for free, too. hmmm.

now that I’m single & living part time in oakland (which is dreamy), I’ve realized I work perhaps a bit too hard for nothin’ & maybe I should think about a career where I don’t have to actually pay to keep my job. three things have haunted me & kept me from closing citron a while ago:

1. you, my amaaaazing clients
2. color consulting with you is the best job in the world.
3. like, I’m a paint junkie, okay? you don’t have to make it such a big deal.

imagine this, I’m invited into jane doe's home to help her pick color. she is chill, panicked, unsure, thrilled, stressed out. usually a bunch of those. I sit down & we narrow down how she wants her space to feel & we work through the other stuff & I teach her about color & push her to listen to herself & the palette is coming together & I am completely smitten & she’s sensing that this is going to be frickin’ gorgeous & she’s so relieved & excited & realizes she does have style, gosh darn it & the house will look like her, the real, relaxed, swanky her. and she gives me a hug & I get in my car & think, “I have the best job in the world” & then she paints her house & tells everyone how happy she is & writes me a thank you letter. really, a handwritten, heartfelt note & I get teary reading it & think, ”I am so lucky, I have the best clients in the world”. and then maureen & I go over the numbers & the balance sheet & I stifle a scream & think, “what will I do without the paint, without these beautiful clients? well, I’ll just have to do more design”. see what I mean?
so cheers to you, citron sweethearts, for embracing my baby paint company & helping me raise her. (i was a stay-home mom for 15 years before this, so I needed all your help.) you’ve recommended me, encouraged me, supported me & helped me grow as a colorist & paint-making person. i am so touched by your loyalty & kindness.

you showed up to raise my spirits, exactly when I needed it, with talk about “when citron goes public” (moira), you painted every house you’ve lived in since we met, is it 5 or 6? (jenni), coerced your whole family into hiring me & then painted your home, offices, vacation home & new home (dawn), you drenched every room in your home in citron, had me design most of your house, select your exterior colors, oversee your landscape design & then made your brother in manhattan beach bring me over for the day (jill), you tried a few home depot colors first, cause “citron is kind of pricey” & then realized citron is worth it, & did the same thing again & told me about it each time! (gillian). lordy, you’ve all been so good to me! part of the reason that I am able to step away now is because you recognized how deeply I cared that the colors were exactly right for you & you gave me back so much, that my heart is full. it has been a privilege to know you & be a part of making your home so righteously you.

closing citron has been one the happiest experiences in my life. you have been so kind & so expressive, you are bringing me a joyful closure. your letters & comments & hugs & emails & voice messages are almost too beautiful to describe. & then there are your tears, seriously, guys, I stand in delighted wonder that citron made such a difference in your homes/lives.

i thank you for the freaking honor of creating colors that were good enough for you, because you each deserved delicious, dreamy color. your confidence that i would only make colors that kicked ass, made me feel so, well, confident. I thank you for inspiring me & sharing your homes & hearts with me.

bravo to us for wanting something more from such a basic commodity. for wanting paint to not suck, for wanting smoochiness in our houses. we were a part of seeing if a tiny color-obsessed paint store could shift the spectrum of buying paint. and by jove, we did! we learned to see color in a way that allowed us to imagine beauty & put it on our very own walls. paint colors that disappeared (or, dista-ppeared as my niece would say). we figured out that the walls could actually look amazing & our houses grew into something better. a client told me, “your colors make my walls melt into the desert.”

and yet, did I say that the industry is tough? that tucson is a small market shouldn’t mean that much, but its prideful frugality is what i think is killing so many locals entities, like mine. we should probably steer clear of the conversation about “color matchers” & how they drained our resources & siphoned about 80% of our biz. hmm, I think I sidestepped that nicely!

I’d like to take a minute to clarify:

1. I currently live in both tucson & oakland, with no set schedule. I may be remodeling an old house here in tucson, I may find more permanent digs in the bay. I may do both.

2. I am not sure what creative venture is next (a friend made me promise not to start a new company until january, a promise I just may not be able to keep, teehee). I will be doing some things for sure: skydiving, TIG welding, son-visiting, bronze casting, yoga-ing, volunteering.

3. I am interested in selling the citron line: my palette & formulas.

4. I’m also interested in not selling the line & seeing how it might evolve in the next few years.

5. I have several ideas percolating, so please stay connected with me through facebook & this email list.

thank you again for the outpouring of support. you guys are rockin’ my world.