A Kinder World

Currently, the world seems to be in a chaotic and turbulent
state; with threats of wars and hate crimes making headlines on an increasingly
frequent basis. I am sure, that like me, you cannot help but wonder how the
world has come to this. Why is hate so prevalent in our society? Is it encoded
in our DNA to be hateful, or are we merely a product of a hateful society?

This debate has been going on for decades; despite all that,
I believe human beings are not hateful by nature. Children are not inherently
evil. However, as they grow up, they notice how hatred is normalized or
inflicted upon people - including them - and learn to be okay with hatred. When
hate is returned with hate, a never-ending circle is created. Contrary to love,
hate possesses negative energy; therefore, it manifests itself in negative and
extreme behavior such as acts of violence towards fellow human beings.

Just over one year ago, one of the most horrendous crimes in
human history was committed at a nightclub in Orlando, Florida. On this night
49 people were killed. Most of the victims were members of the LGBTQ+
community. In the aftermath there was a lot of speculation about the sexual
orientation of the killer; and it still remains unclear whether he was
motivated by internalized homophobia and self-hatred which could be a direct
result of living in a bigoted, homophobic society. However, it is unarguable
that his horrendous crime was prompted by homophobia. I believe the idea of
homophobia is not inherent. Children do not grow up homophobic by themselves.
Rather, they learn to be hateful by witnessing the normalization of violence
perpetrated against gay people.

It cannot be denied that we will always have differences in
opinions, lifestyles, etc. There will always be issues that we cannot agree on
collectively. Diversity can be wonderful but it can also be infuriating when
two ideas clash.

I remember one time when I was 13, I was watching TV with my
mom and there was a gay couple holding hands on the screen. My mom hissed and
started making homophobic comments on how homosexuality was unnatural and a
sin. A huge fight could have taken place because I was young and hotheaded.
However, for unknown reasons, all of a sudden, I did not feel like making a
fight out of it. All I said was, “They love each other, just like you love
dad.” A moment of silence followed. After that day, sometimes we still talked
about the LGBTQ+ community and to my surprise and delight, her homophobic
comments started to fade with time.

One day after the Orlando shooting, we were watching the
news and at some point, she looked baffled and asked me, “Can people just
live?” As amazing as that was, a part of me knows my mother will be upset if I
ever come out to her. She will disagree with my life decisions but I also know
she will not interfere in my happiness and that is enough. The truth is, hate
is within all of us but how we respond to it is what determines the ultimate
outcome. Hate breeds hate and tolerance fosters love.

In an ideal world, people accept each other. However, the
world we are living in does not function that way. Acceptance goes beyond
tolerance; but often, before learning to be accepting, we have to learn to be
tolerant. After all, with all of our differences, we need to figure out a way
to coexist in harmony. Two years ago, I had a conversation with a gay man that
completely changed my view on acceptance vs. tolerance. He said, “I don’t care
if people don’t accept me for who I am. I don’t need them to be accepting but
they have to be tolerant. As long as we don’t infringe on each other’s rights,
we’re fine.” Tolerance is healing as it allows people to be vulnerable without
fear of judgment. It is also the key to enlightenment as it cultivates
acceptance and understanding of the diversity in people’s experiences.

While learning to hate does not take long, learning to
counter it does. However, it is not impossible. Since hate is fueled by
intolerance and fear of the unknown, start there. Embrace change, embrace
diversity. Tolerance can be learned from little things such as reading books.
Books explore the different lives of different people and through books;
empathy can be built up, which eventually allows space for tolerance to grow.
Meditation can also help nurture tolerance. By learning to identify sources of
negativity, you learn to navigate towards positivity, to be patient and
tolerant where necessary. Drive hate out of your heart. After all, a heart that
grows dark with hatred cannot reflect light; therefore, it cannot radiate love.