Children and domestic violence : an information packet

North Carolina Council for Women and
Domestic Violence Commission
Children and Domestic Violence:
An Information Packet
Governor Michael F. Easley
Secretary Gwynn T. Swinson,
N.C. Department of Administration
Deputy Secretary McKinley Wooten,
N.C. Department of Administration
Leslie Starsoneck, Executive Director
N.C. Council for Women and Domestic Violence Commission
Tracy Turner, Deputy Director
N.C. Council for Women and Domestic Violence Commission
1320 Mail Service Center
Raleigh, NC 27699-1320
A child witness to domestic violence drew the picture on the front cover. The child participated in the
Domestic Abuse Project Children’s Program in Minneapolis, MN. It is used with permission from the
Minnesota Domestic Abuse Project (www.domesticabuseproject.org)
The Council for Women and Domestic Violence Commission extends thanks to the Texas Council on Family
Violence and the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project of Duluth, MN for their permission to reproduce
various materials used throughout this document
Domestic Violence is a serious social, legal and public health problem that affects
millions of families each year in this country. National statistics suggest that 4
million American women experience a serious assault by an intimate partner
each year1 and that nearly one in three adult women experience at least one
physical assault by a partner in adulthood2. While in 92% of all domestic
violence incidents, crimes are committed by men against women3, males can
also be victims of domestic violence as many families are unique and no longer
represent "traditional" models. Additionally, violence by an intimate partner
accounts for about twenty-one percent (21%) of violent crime experienced by
women and about two percent (2%) of the violence experienced by men.4
In many of the homes where domestic violence occurs, children are present;
some of those homes are here in North Carolina. In the 2000-2001 fiscal year,
more than 41,000 new victims of domestic violence received services from state
funded domestic violence programs in their communities; of this number, more
1 Violence by Intimates: Analysis of Data on Crimes by Current or Former Spouses, Boyfriends, and
Girlfriends, US Department of Justice, March, 1998.
2 American Psychological Association Presidential Task Force: Report on Violence and the Family, 1996,
p. 10.
3 Violence Against Women, Bureau of Justice Statistics, US Department of Justice, January 1994.
4 Violence by Intimates: Analysis of Data on Crimes by Current or Former Spouses, Boyfriends, and
Girlfriends, US Department of Justice, Match, 1998.
Domestic Violence:
A Serious Issue for Children
than 1,200 victims were children.5 This figure only represents the number of
victims and children who actually sought services; we know that many victims
and children are not able to seek help at all and are not counted in our statistics.
And, nationally, an estimated 3.3 million children are exposed to violence by
family members against their mothers or female caretakers each year.6 Statistics
suggest that children are present in forty-one percent (41%) to fifty-five percent
(55%) of homes where police intervene in domestic violence calls.7 Additionally,
slightly more than half of female victims of intimate violence live in households
with children under the age of twelve (12) years old.8
5 NC Council for Women Service Statistics, July 1, 2000 – June 30, 2001
6 American Psychological Association Presidential Task Force: Report on Violence and the Family, 1996,
p. 11.
7 Ford, Sherry. “Domestic Violence: The Great American Spectator Sport”, Oklahoma Coalition on
Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault, July/August, 1991, p. 3.
8 Violence by Intimates: Analysis of Data on Crimes by Current or Former Spouses, Boyfriends, and
Girlfriends, US Department of Justice, Match 1998.
CHILDREN AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE:
A Fact Sheet
􀂙􉤠 Each year, 3.3 million children are exposed to
violence by a family member against their mothers
or female caretakers. (American Psychological Association's
Report on Family Violence, 1996)
􀂙􉤠 Child abuse occurs in 30% - 60% of family
violence cases that involve families with children.
("The overlap between child maltreatment and woman battering." J.L.
Edleson, Violence Against Women, February 1999)
􀂙􉤠 In homes where partner abuse occurs, children are
1,500 times more likely to be abused. (Department of
Justice, Bureau of Justice, 1993)
􀂙􉤠 Fathers who batter mothers are twice as likely to
seek sole physical custody of their children than
are non-violent fathers. (American Psychological Association's
Report on Family Violence, 1996)
􀂙􉤠 In one study, 27% of domestic violence homicide
victims were children. (Florida Governor's Task Force on
Domestic and Sexual Violence, Florida Mortality Project, 1997, p.45)
􀂙􉤠 In the 2000-2001 fiscal year, more than 1,200
children received services from domestic violence
programs in North Carolina. (NC Council for Women and
Domestic Violence Commission)
Research findings from the past two decades have documented children's
exposure to domestic violence as well as studied the impact of that exposure.
The results of the research have sometimes been conflicting and confusing, and
determining whether, and to what extent, children are impacted by witnessing
violence in their homes has been particularly challenging. What is clear,
however, is that of the children who are exposed to domestic violence, a
significant number of them are profoundly impacted producing short-term and
sometimes long-term effects.
The purpose of this packet is to provide a basic introduction to the issue, to
provide general information about the effects of domestic violence on children,
and to refer readers to additional resources and information that may be helpful.
While research findings are referenced and cited, much of the information
contained in this packet is anecdotal and relies heavily on information obtained
from working directly with child observers and adult victims of domestic violence.
This packet is designed for use by domestic violence and children's advocates
interested in gaining a greater awareness and basic understanding of the ways in
which children may be affected by violence in their homes.
For a more comprehensive literature review and explanation of research findings,
you may access publications by authors/researchers such as Gayla Margolin and
Robert Geffner, Peter Jaffee and Marlies Suderman, in works such as "Effects of
Family & Community Violence on Children" and "Children Exposed to Domestic
Violence: Current Issues in Research, Intervention, Prevention and Policy
Development".
How Are Children Abused in Domestic Violence?
Children may be abused in a variety of ways by living in and being exposed to
domestic violence in their homes. As direct victims of child abuse or neglect,
many children exposed to domestic violence often experience not only the
trauma of seeing and hearing their caretaker being battered by another
caretaker, but also the effects of being physically and/or sexually abused
themselves. Children are often "pawns" in domestic violence. The power and
control issues at the core of abusers' interactions with their adult victims are
often present in the dynamics between abusers and their children; the tactics
employed by an abuser against his/her adult partner are often replicated with
the children.
Children are at risk both while living with, and when separated from, their
abusive parents. Batterers abuse their children for a variety of reasons: 1) to
coerce the abused parent into complying with their demands (e.g. reconcile,
dismiss the domestic violence protective order, etc.), 2) to establish and maintain
control over children in an effort to maintain a position of authority and control
over the abused parent within the family structure (e.g. to be seen as the only
parent figure, undermining the parental role of the battered parent), and/or 3) to
intentionally inflict harm on the children. Domestic abuse is not only harmful to
the adult victim and supports an imbalance of power in the family that can be
destructive, but also directly harms the children.
Tactics Used in the Abuse of Children
Abusers use children in an effort to hurt, manipulate and further control their
adult partners.
Some tactics used in intact relationships:
• Undermining the authority or parenting of the battered parent
• Criticizing the battered parent in front of the children
• Interfering with the battered parent meeting the needs of the children
• Destroying the children's respect for the battered parent
• Assaulting or abusing the children's parent after arguing about them and/or
issues related to the children
• Blaming the violence and abuse on the battered parent
• Buying presents and making promises of change to children, battered parent
• Manipulating them emotionally, getting them to feel sorry for him/her
• Forcing the children to "take sides"
• Putting the children in the middle - physically and/or emotionally
• Threatening or actually hurting, abducting and/or killing the children
• Threatening to sue for custody
• Threatening to make a false report to child welfare services
Some tactics used after separation:
• Blaming his/her absence on the battered parent
• Encouraging the children to pressure the battered parent to reconcile
• Using the children to carry messages
• Forcing the children to "spy" and report on the battered parent
• Returning the children from visitation in poor condition
• Using issues related to the children to further harass the battered parent
• Becoming "super parent" in attempt to present self as "better parent"
• Choosing one child over another/ "pitting" children against one another
• Retaliating through excessive custody and visitation court filings/cases
• Manipulating child visitation "pick up" and "drop off" times and locations
• Emotionally and physically neglecting or abusing children during visitation
• Failing to pay child support or withholding support for children's needs
• Demanding access to children's health, school, daycare records to "track
down" the location of the battered parent (especially if hiding or relocated)
Domestic Violence: A Problem For Children
Children exposed to domestic violence are impacted differently. Some child
observers are impacted psychologically, emotionally and/or physically sometimes
exhibiting effects both short and long term. Some child observers possess
individual protective factors, and/or situational factors contribute to their
resiliency and the development of healthy coping techniques.
The degree to which children are impacted by domestic violence may be
influenced by individual characteristics such as age and gender. Additionally,
environmental factors such as children's proximity to the violence, the severity
and chronicity of the violence witnessed, and the co-existence of child abuse or
neglect may influence whether children are traumatized and to what degree.
There are also certain individual and situational factors that also potentially
enhance and contribute to child observers' resiliency.
While these factors are not absolute indicators of whether a child will be exposed
to the violence, whether a child will be more effected at age seven than at age
three, or whether a juvenile will engage in delinquent activity, there is empirical
data to suggest that these factors may influence how children are impacted by
domestic violence in their homes.
Exposure to domestic violence usually includes seeing a violent incident, hearing
physical and verbal abuse, witnessing the aftermath of an altercation such as
broken furniture and destroyed property, observing the physical injuries of the
battered parent, and suffering the consequences of other controlling and abusive
tactics which result in child maltreatment and neglect. "Many parents minimize
or deny the presence of children while the mothers are being assaulted;
however, interviews with children of battered women reveal that they have seen
and heard, and can describe, detailed accounts of violent behavior that their
mother or father never realized they have witnessed." 9
Children of domestic violence often suffer physical injuries, stress-related health
disorders related to chronic maltreatment in families experiencing interparental
violence. Additionally, child witnesses may lack problem-solving skills and
impulse control, may lack social skills, may be immature and may act out with
their parents, siblings and peers.
9 Jaffe, P, Wolfe, D. and S.K. Wilson. Children of Battered Women. (1990)
Effects of Witnessing Domestic Violence
PSYCHOLOGICAL EFFECTS
Children who are exposed to domestic violence are often affected
psychologically. Child observers may experience developmental delays, sleeping
and eating disorders, psychosomatic symptoms and/or cognitive delays and
disabilities. Children's normal developmental patterns may be disrupted,
resulting in impaired cognitive, emotional and/or behavioral adjustment, as found
among children who chronically witnessed abuse.10 Additionally, children as
young as one year began to regress into states later diagnosed as "mental
retardation" when exposed to parental hostilities…11. Exposure to domestic
violence has also been linked with social competence problems12, impairing their
abilities to empathize,13 and to the development of extreme approaches to
problem solving14.
10 "Fact Sheet on Children of Men Who Batter", compiled by the National Organization for Men Against
Sexism, 1993, p. 2.
11 Hilton, N. Zoae, "Battered Women's Concerns About Their Children Witnessing Wife Assault", Journal
of Interpersonal Violence, Vol. 7, No. 1, Match 1992: 77-86.
12 Wolfe, D.A., Zak, L., Wilson, S. & Jaffe P. (1986). Child witnesses to violence between parents: Critical
issues in behavioral and social adjustment. Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 14, 95-104.
13 Hinchey, F.S., & Gaveleck, J.R. (1982). Empathetic responding in children of battered mothers. Child
Abuse and Neglect, 6, 395-401.
14 Rosenberg, M.S. (1987). The children of battered women: The effects of witnessing violence on their
social problem-solving abilities. Behavior Therapist, 4, 85-89.
Additionally, among preschoolers, Davidson, Alessi and Hearn15 noted that
"(they) often experience insomnia, sleepwalking, nightmares and bed
wetting…as well as regressing to earlier stages of functioning." Children exposed
to domestic violence also suffer from impulsivity, depression and poor self-esteem.
Child observers may suffer psychological damage in the form of: 1)
immediate trauma, 2) adverse affects on their development, 3) living with high
stress and fear, and 4) exposure to role models that utilize violence and abuse.16
Children may exhibit short-term, crisis induced and long-term, chronic symptoms
of witnessing domestic abuse.
"Exposure to parents' violence has both immediate effects, as seen in transient
distress symptoms, and chronic effects, such as major symptoms of
psychopathology and the extension of relationship patterns into the next
generation."17 Short-term effects of witnessing interparental abuse may include
nightmares, psychosomatic complaints, and adjustment issues and long-term
effects include chronic illness, juvenile delinquency and dating violence.
15 Hilton, N. Zoe, "Battered Women's Concerns About Their Children Witnessing Wife Assault", Journal
of Interpersonal Violence, Vol. 7, No. 1, March 1992: p. 77-86.
16 "The Effects of Woman Abuse on Children" Psychological and Legal Authority" Second Edition.
National Center on Women and Family Law, Inc., 275 Seventh Ave., Ste 1206, New York, NY 10001.
17 Margolin, Gayla, "Effects of Family and Community Violence on Children".
PSYCHOLOGICAL AND COGNITIVE EFFECTS*
Developmental Delays
Impaired Speech (stuttering, poor verbal development)
Delayed crawling or walking
Impaired reflexes and responses
Learning disabilities
Mental retardation
Poor motor skills
Eating Disorders
Anorexia
Bulimia Nervosa
Compulsive overeating
Sleeping Disorders
Insomnia
Nightmares and Night terrors
Sleepwalking
Anxiety Disorders
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder symptoms
Panic attacks
Separation anxiety
Phobias
Regressive Behaviors
Bed-wetting
Thumb sucking
Immature actions, gestures
Using physical expression exclusively
Cognitive Problems
Poor problem solving skills
Lacks concentration / impulsive
Excessive fantasy in play
*These symptoms are not separately indicative of exposure to domestic violence
but, when combined, may create a cause for concern.
EMOTIONAL EFFECTS
Children may be affected differently from being exposed to domestic violence.
Some research suggests that the effects of exposure to domestic violence are
similar to the effects of child abuse. Some children may withdraw and become
reclusive while other children become overtly hostile and aggressive. Children
may react differently to the violence employing a variety of coping techniques,
some healthy and some not, many as techniques for survival. Some feelings
that are common among child observers are guilt, helplessness, fear, confusion,
sadness and anger. They may be ill equipped or reluctant to discuss feelings
because they have been discouraged from talking about the violence in their
homes or, over time, have become apathetic or desensitized to the abuse.
Sometimes, feelings of frustration and fear are expressed through aggressive
behaviors either towards others or themselves. Some children withdraw and
become emotionally "numb." Still other children become overachievers and
often devote their attention to areas of their lives over which they feel they have
some degree of control (e.g. academics, athletics, arts and crafts, etc.). In one
study, behavioral problems were reported in one-third (1/3) of the children of
spouse-abuse couples.18
18 Hilberman, E. and Munson, K. (1977-78). "Sixty Battered Women." Victimology: An International
Journal, 2, p. 3-4.
Child Observers
Possible Reactions:
Aggressive, Violent or Abusive OR Passive
Extraverted OR Reclusive/Withdrawn
Homicide OR Suicide
Underachiever OR Overachiever
Inattentive OR Perfectionist/"Pleaser"
(NOTE: Children may exhibit reactions consistent with one or both of these
categories at different stages in their development and in relation to exposure)
Possible Unhealthy Coping Techniques:
Using Drugs and/or Alcohol
Becoming Emotionally Detached or "Numb"
Denying / Avoiding
Dating and/or Sexual Activity At Early Age
Being Truant
Running Away
Hurting Self (Self-Mutilation)
Destroying Property
Hurting Siblings or Pets
Engaging in Risk Taking Behaviors
Abusing Food / Developing Eating Disorder
Neglecting Personal Hygiene
Child observers may mature faster by assuming adult roles and responsibilities.
Other children mature slower as a result of poor interpersonal skills and an
inability to cope with common stress factors; child observers may also have
difficulties establishing healthy boundaries. They may deny the abuse, feel guilty
about "choosing sides" or may feel responsible for causing or not stopping the
abuse. Exposure to domestic violence has been associated with internalizing and
externalizing problems19 and aggression and difficult temperaments20. Child
observers may also suffer from low self-esteem and may have little trust of or
respect for adults and authority figures. "There is a growing literature indicating
that children exposed to wife assault experience such internalizing problems as
withdrawal and depression and such externalizing problems as aggressiveness,
argumentativeness, and hyperactivity.21
19 McCloskey, L.A., Figueredo, A.J. & Koss, M.P. (1995). The effects of systemic family violence on
children's mental health. Child Development, 66, 1239-1261.
20 Holden, G.W., & Ritchie, K.L. (1991). Linking extreme marital discord, child rearing, and child
behavior problems: Evidence from battered women. Child Development, 62, 311-327.
21 Jaffe, P., Wolfe, D, Wilson, S.K. & Zak, L. (1986b). Family violence and child adjustment: A
comparative analysis of girls' and boys' behavioral symptoms. American Journal of Psychiatry, 143, 74-77.
EMOTIONAL AND BEHAVIORAL EFFECTS*
Externalizing
Aggressiveness / Bullying
Violence directed at others (assault, homicide)
Blaming or Projecting onto others
Anxiousness
Internalizing
Withdrawing
Becoming Passive
Becoming Clingy / dependent
Self-destructive behaviors (violence toward self)
Detached or "Numb"
Interpersonal Skills
Poor communication skills
Unable to compromise / negotiate
Resolves conflict with violence only
Poor judgment / irresponsibility
Unhealthy coping methods
Routine problems exaggerated
Poor perception
Modeling abusive or violent behaviors
Self Image
Feelings of helplessness
Low self-esteem
Feelings of insignificance
Believe cause of violence
See self as failure
Feelings of self-hatred
*These symptoms are not separately indicative of exposure to domestic violence
but, when combined, may create a cause for concern.
EMOTIONS OF CHILD OBSERVERS
FEAR:
-That their mom/dad will be hurt or killed
-That they and/or their siblings will be hurt or killed
-That they should tell someone but don't want to make it worse
-That if they tell, the battering parent won't love them anymore
ANGER:
-Angry with the battering parent
-Angry with the parent who is being abused
-Angry with siblings and/or other family members
-Angry with themselves for not stopping the violence
CONFUSION:
-They may love and hate the battering parent
-They may not know what causes the violence or how to stop it
-They may be confused about whether it is abuse at all
GUILT:
-Guilty because they believe they are the "cause" of the violence; it's their fault
-Guilty because they believe they should intervene but sometimes don't
-Guilty about using unhealthy coping mechanisms to "feel better" or "escape"
-Guilty about being angry with the parent who is being abused and siblings
HELPLESSNESS:
-Helpless to stop the violence
-Helpless to escape the abuse permanently
-Helpless to get help for themselves, the batterer, the abused parent, siblings
-Helpless to choose differently for themselves (as they become adults)
PHYSICAL EFFECTS
Children who witness domestic violence are also physically affected by the abuse.
Many children are directly injured in the context of protecting and defending
their battered parents. Other children are physically injured inadvertently by
thrown objects. Many children also experience physical effects related to a lack
of basic resources and poor living conditions due to abusers' manipulation of
family finances, resulting in neglect and maltreatment.
Child observers may suffer from a host of physical ailments including headaches,
stomach problems, skin disorders, asthma and colds. In one study, it was
reported that more than half of the infants who were exposed to domestic
violence had health problems, including weight and eating problems (15%), and
sleep problems or reduced responsiveness were found for nearly twenty percent
(20%).22 Additionally, increases in sleep disorders, abdominal distress,
headaches and backaches, and obesity were found to be physical consequences
of family violence.23
22 Layzer, J.I, Goodson, B.D. & deLange, C. (1986). Children in shelters. Response, 9, 2-5.
23 Moeller, T.P., Bachmann, G.A. & Moeller, J.R. (1993). The combined effects of physical, sexual and
emotional abuse during childhood: Long-term health consequences for women. Child Abuse and Neglect,
17(5), 623-640. Browne, A., & Finkelhor, D. (1986). Impact of child sexual abuse: A review of the
research. Psychological Bulletin, 99, 6-76.
Children's access to healthcare and medicines may be compromised which is
particularly problematic in that many child observers suffer from overall poor
health and malnutrition due to living conditions created by domestic violence
(and may in greater need for supportive health care measures).
Child observers can be both primary victims of intentional physical, emotional
and/or sexual child abuse and victims of violence directed at and intended for
adults. Child abuse often coexists in families experiencing domestic violence.
Children who witness domestic violence have an increased likelihood of being the
target of child abuse24, estimating that approximately forty-five percent (45%) to
seventy percent (70%) of children exposed to marital violence are also victims of
physical child abuse25. Additionally, child observers are also at risk for sexual
abuse and are twelve to fourteen times more likely to experience sexual abuse
by the mother's partner as well as seven times more likely to report sexual abuse
occurring outside the home26. A large-scale, national survey found that
approximately fifty percent (50%) of the men who frequently assaulted their
wives also frequently abused their children.27 And, in homes where partner
abuse occurs, children are 1,500 times more likely to be abused.28
24 Wolfe, D.A., Jaffe, P., Wilson, S.K., & Zak, L. (1985) Children of Battered Women.
25 Layzer, J.I., Goodson, B.D. & deLange, C. (1986). Children in shelters. Response, 9, 2-5.
26 McCloskey, L.A., Figueredo, A.J. & Koss, M.P. (1995). The effects of systemic family violence on
children's mental health. Child Development, 66, 1239-1261.
27 Straus, Murray A. and Gelles, Richard J., Physical Violence in American Families, 1990.
28 Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Assistance, Family Violence: Interventions in the Justice
System, 1993.
Children who observe incidents of domestic violence are often injured when
attempting to protect their battered parents; in one study, sixty-two percent
(62%) of sons fourteen years old and older were injured when they attempted to
protect their mothers from attacks by abusive male partners.29 Children are
often injured by thrown objects and violence intended for adult victims.
Sometimes, children are fatally injured. In a Florida study of all domestic
violence homicides during a one-year period, twenty-seven percent (27%) of
domestic violence homicide victims were children.30
In domestic violence homes, money typically spent on diapers, formula,
medications, health care, nutritional food and school supplies may not be
allocated by the batterer. Basic needs such as housing, utilities and clothing may
be compromised resulting in unhealthy, harmful living conditions. Thus, children
suffer physically from the abuser's control over the family finances as well as
from injuries received as a result of direct physical abuse and violence.
29 Roy, Maria. Children in the Crossfire. 1988.
30 Florida Governor's Task Force on Domestic and Sexual Violence, Florida Mortality Project, 1997, 45.
PHYSICAL EFFECTS*
Headaches
Stomach Problems
Ulcers
Indigestion
Nausea/vomiting
Diarrhea
Constipation
Injuries
Bruises
Sprained or broken bones
Black eye(s)
Scratches/abrasions
Cuts/wounds
Burn marks/scalding
Gun shot wounds
Internal injuries
Soreness or aching
Teeth knocked out
Hair pulled out
Damage to eyes/ears
Head or neck injuries
Skin Conditions
Acne / Skin Rashes
General Poor Health
More susceptible to colds / common illness
Lethargic and lifeless / May exhibit "failure to thrive" symptoms
Poor nutrition / malnourishment
Fatigue
Allergies
*These symptoms are not separately indicative of exposure to domestic violence
but, when combined, may create cause for concern.
INDIVIDUAL FACTORS WHICH MAY INFLUENCE THE
DEGREE OF TRAUMATIZATION
Children are at great risk for physical injury as a result of living with domestic
violence. They are also at risk of being emotionally and psychologically
traumatized. Individual characteristics and factors may influence 1) whether
children are exposed to violence, (2) the type and severity of violence children
are exposed to, (3) the impact of witnessing domestic violence, and (4) the
outcomes of the impact. Some factors which may affect the extent to which
children are impacted by witnessing domestic violence are as follows:
Age
A child's age may influence how s/he is impacted by witnessing violence between
her/his parents, as well as how s/he exhibits or demonstrates the effect. For
instance, a seven year-old child may witness a domestic violence altercation and,
as a result of poor problem solving skills developed from exposure to previous
family conflict, may act aggressively with a peer. In other words, the child may
have been impacted each time s/he witnessed the conflict, but expressed this
differently given her/his age (e.g. would have an opportunity to act out with
peers at 7 whereas s/he was not exposed to peers at age 3). Researchers have
reported an inverse relationship between age and marital violence.31, suggesting
31 Suitor, J.J., Pillemer, K., & Straus. M.A. (1990). Marital violence in a life course perspective. In M.A.
Straus & R.J. Gelles (Eds), Physical violence in American families (pp.305-320). New Brunswick, NJ:
Transaction.
that children who are younger may be at a higher risk of being exposed to more
severe forms of violence. As noted in one study, it is suggested that during the
early stages of marriage, when young children are more likely to be in the home,
rates of marital violence are particularly high.32 Young children may be exposed
to violence and at risk of being injured by thrown objects because of
undeveloped reflexes and/or due to their being closer to the violence (younger
children are more likely to be held by a battered parent thereby increasing the
risk of injury during the parent's assault). "Although the evidence is clearer for
child abuse, exposure to marital violence has been shown to occur at critical
developmental phases", 33 regardless of exact age. It is suggested that children
may experience violence during certain developmental stages in which children
naturally seek independence from their caretakers; it is during these stages in
particular when children may reject parents' attitudes, ideas and behaviors or
challenge the power and control dynamics within the family. Although there is
evidence to suggest that a child observer's level of adjustment is affected by the
child's developmental stage and the child's experiences with abuse, no clear
patterns specify effects for specific ages.34
Nevertheless, some general effects of exposure to domestic violence for varying
age groups are listed as follows:
32 Fantuzzo, J.W. & Lindquist, C.V. (1989). The effects of observing conjugal violence on children: A
review and analysis of research methodology. Journal of Family Violence, 4, 77-93.
33 Margolin, Gayla, "Effects of Family and Community Violence on Children".
34 Hughes, H.M., Parkison, D., & Vargo, M. (1989). Witnessing spouse abuse and experiencing physical
abuse: A "double whammy?" Journal of Family Violence, 4, 197-210.
Gender
There is debate as to whether a child's gender influences how s/he is affected by
exposure to domestic violence. Some research suggests that that there are no
differences between boys and girls35. Still other researchers have found similar
effects for boys and girls with respect to social competence and internalizing
behaviors36. There is also debate as to whether boys or girls are more or less
likely to be exposed to domestic violence. Some data suggests that girls are
more shielded from family violence than boys37 while other data suggests that
boys and girls are exposed to similar levels of marital violence.38; still, another
suggestion is that girls are typically not afforded the same freedom as boys in
homes where domestic violence occurs, placing girls in the home more
frequently when assaults occur.
35 Fantuzzo, J.W., DePaola, L.M., et al (1991). Effects of interparental violence on the psychological
adjustment and competencies of young children. Journal of Counsulting and Clinical Psychology, 59, 258-
265.
36 Jaffe, P.G., Wolfe, D.A., Wilson, S.K. & Zak, L. (1986). Family violence and child adjustment: A
comparative analysis of girls' and boys' behavioral symptoms. American Journal of Psychiatry, 143, 74-76.
37 Emery, R.E. (1982). Interparental conflict and the children of discord and divorce. Psychological
Bulletin, 92, 310-330.
38 O'Keeffe, M. (1994). Linking marital violence, mother-child/father-child aggression, and child
behavioral problems. Journal of Family Violence, 9, 63-78.
Researchers have also reported significant findings for boys (i.e. that they are
affected) and insignificant findings for girls. The boys in the study showed
significantly higher levels of aggression39, more externalizing behaviors40, and
total behavior problems.41 Additionally, seventy-five percent (75%) of boys who
witness parental abuse have demonstrable behavioral problems.42 For girls,
exposure to domestic violence has been linked with less empathy than boys43,
more anxiety44 and more internalizing problems overall.45 Although inconclusive,
a significant amount of research suggests that boys may be more likely to
externalize the effects of observing domestic violence while girls may be more
likely to internalize.
39 Doumas, D., Margolin, G. & John, R.S. (1994). The intergenerational transmission of aggression across
three generations. Journal of Family Violence, 9, 157-175.
40 Jaffe, P.G., Wolfe, D.A., Wilson, S., & Zak,. L. (1986). Family violence and child adjustment: A
comparative analysis of girls' and boys' behavioral symptoms. American Journal of Psychiatry, 143, 74-76.
41 Wolfe, D.A., Jaffe, P.G., Wilson, S.K. & Zak, L. (1985). Children of battered women: The relation of
child behavior to family violence and maternal stress. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 53,
657-665.
42 Jaffe, P.G., S. Wilson and D. Wolfe (1986). "Promoting Changes in Attitudes and Understanding of
Conflict Resolution Among Child Witnesses of Family Violence." Canadian Journal of Behavioral
Science Review, XVIII(4), pp. 356-366.
43 Hinchey, F.S., & Gavelek, J.R. (1982). Sixty battered women. Victimology, 2, 460-470.
44 Hughes, H.M. & Barad, S.J. (1983). Psychological functioning of children in battered women's shelters:
A preliminary investigation. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 53, 525-531.
45 Holden, G.W. & Ritchie, K.L. (1991). Linking extreme marital discord, child rearing, and child
behavior problems: Evidence from battered women.
Child Development, 62, 311-327.
The following behaviors are examples of externalization and internalization that
may be closely associated with gender but not in all cases.
EXTERNALIZATION
Child may be more aggressive or violent towards others
Child may seek "active" solutions to problems
(do not consider "ignoring" or "walking away" as solutions)
Child may project feelings and blame on others
(identify outside influence/factor as causal - blame others)
Child may be involved in delinquent behaviors
(may have extended privileges and less supervision)
Child may identify and express feelings of anger only
(may believe that feelings of "fear" and "sadness" indicate weakness)
Child may be expected to play certain roles in family and in society
(may believe it is his job to intervene, to protect siblings, to be in control)
INTERNALIZATION
Child may be more passive or abusive toward self
(may direct abuse toward self - self mutilation, eating disorder, suicide)
Child may become withdrawn or reclusive
Child may blame self
(may believe s/he caused the abuse or deserved it)
Child may turn to drugs and/or alcohol
(may feel this is only means of coping or escaping/false sense of control)
Child may identify feelings of sadness and guilt
(may suppress feelings of anger which manifest as depression or anxiety)
Child may be expected to play certain roles in family and society
(may believe it is her/his job to take care of parents and siblings /
may be a perfectionist/has to take on adult roles-no longer allowed to be child)
Child may have limited privileges or have to meet different expectations
Physical/Mental/Psychological Limitations
Child observers who have mental health issues, have physical disabilities, and/or
are mentally impaired may be at greater risk of being targets of abuse,
correlating with the number of child abuse victims who also witness domestic
violence. While the disabilities do not cause a child to be abused, certain
limitations or special needs may render a child observer with disabilities more
vulnerable. Girls with any kind of disability are almost twice as likely to be
sexually abused as are non-disabled children and one study of abused children
found that more than half (53.4%) of deaf girls had been sexually abused.46 In
a study of ninety-three female psychiatric emergency room patients, fifty-three
percent (53%) reported childhood sexual abuse and forty-two percent (42%)
reported physical abuse, being "…the most powerful predictor of later psychiatric
symptoms and disorders".47 Additional barriers may exist for child observers with
physical and mental disabilities as they may be less capable of removing
themselves from the area in which the violent altercation occurs.
46 J. Petersilia, "Report to the California Senate Public Safety Committee Hearings on Persons with
Developmental Disabilities in the Criminal Justice System," 1998, Irvine, CA; M. Elder, "Deaf Survivors
of Sexual Abuse: A Look at the Issues," Moving Forward News Journal 2, no. 5, 1993.
47 J. Briere, et al. "Lifetime Victimization History, Demographics, and Clinical Status in Female
Psychiatric Emergency Room Patients," Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease 185, no. 2, 1997, pp.95-
101.
Additionally, children with special needs may experience difficulty in soliciting
emergency assistance. Reports exist of 911 operators hanging up on TTY calls
from deaf (victims).48 Additionally, the judicial, law enforcement and social
services communities may not be equipped to offer the specialized intervention
and support services that differently-abled child witnesses may need,
contributing to further victimization. Neglect and maltreatment as a result of
domestic violence may especially impact children with special needs for specific
medication, health care equipment and/or access to emergency medical
intervention.
Individual Traits
Although research has not examined whether children who have higher or lower
IQs may be impacted by domestic violence at higher or lower degrees, children's
48 Berkeley Planning Associates, Meeting the Needs of Women with Disabilities.
reasoning abilities and problem solving skills may influence their ability to identify
appropriate safety measures and means of seeking help.
Children exposed to domestic violence have been found to exhibit fewer interests
and social activities and lower school performance.49 Children who excel
academically, socially, athletically or artistically may be involved in activities that
remove them from their homes potentially reducing the amount of time they
may be exposed to domestic violence.
It is important to note that while many individual traits and characteristics of
child observers influence the degree to which they are affected by witnessing
domestic violence, individual children employ markedly different coping
strategies, some of which are healthy, in responding to the abuse. Some
children engage in behaviors that help minimize the negative effects of exposure
to domestic violence, contributing to their ability to excel regardless of their
circumstances.
49 Wolfe, D.A., Zak, L., Wilson, S., & Jaffe, P. (1986). Child witnesses to violence between parents:
Critical issues in behavioral and social adjustment Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 14 (1), 95-104.
SITUATIONAL FACTORS WHICH MAY INFLUENCE THE
DEGREE OF TRAUMATIZATION
The degree to which child observers are impacted by witnessing domestic
violence is not only influenced by their individual characteristics, but also by
factors related to the environment and circumstances in which the violence
occurs. Some of the environmental factors that influence the degree to which
child observers are traumatized may include the following:
Severity and Chronicity of Violence
The degree to which children are traumatized by witnessing violence may be
influenced by the severity of the violence to which they are exposed. "Equally
important is knowing the length of time that the child has been exposed to
violence…"50. Although few studies have determined whether the extent of a
child's problems is related to whether the violence witnessed was severe, some
researchers report that the immediate impact of children's exposure to domestic
violence can be "traumatic (resulting in) fear for self, fear for their mother's
safety and self-blame."51
Children often witness severe forms of violence perpetrated against their
mothers. The physical violence witnessed can range from pushing and shoving
to homicide and suicide. A survey of New Orleans school aged children revealed
50 Margolin, Gayla, "Effects of Family and Community Violence on Children"
51 Adele Harrell, National Council on Juvenile and Family Court Judges, "A Guide to Research on Family
Violence", 28 (1993).
over ninety percent (90%) had witnessed a violent act in person, seventy
percent (70%) had seen weapons used, and forty percent (40%) had seen a
dead body.52 This is significant, as community violence has shown strong
relationships with intrafamilial violence.53
Additionally, the Boston City AWAKE Program was designed and implemented to
offer therapeutic counseling to children exposed to violence; although the
original intent of the program was to provide services to children exposed to
various types of violence (e.g. gang violence, community violence, school
violence and violence in the home), the program found that the majority of
children served by the program received services for their exposure to domestic
violence.
Do abusers consider whether children are present when assaulting their intimate
partners? In one study, it is suggested that "there were no significant
differences in the characteristics of the abusive incidents between those where
children were witnesses to the incident and those where they were not." For
example, women with children were no less (or more) likely to be slapped,
52 Osofky, J., Wewer, S., Hann, D.M. & Fick, A.C., "Can They Feel Safe Again: The Impact of
Community Violence on Infants, Toddlers, Their Parents and Practitioners: Zero to Three" Arlington, VA:
National Center for Clinical Infant Programs (1992).
53 Bell, C.C., & Jenkins, E.J. (1993). Community violence and children on Chicago's southside. In D.
Reiss, J.E. Richters, M. Radke-Yarrow, & D. Scharff (Eds.), Children and violence (pp.46-54). New York:
Guilford Press.
kicked, hit, choked, threatened with a gun, or beaten when children were
present and observed the violence."54
In terms of the degree of injury to the adult victim, that same study found that
…"from…being bruised - where approximately one half of women report this type
of injury, to being cut with a knife - children did not have a significant impact on
the injury-level sustained." In other words, children were just as likely to
witness comparatively minor forms of physical violence in comparison with more
severe forms.
In conclusion, "…(the presence of) children did not alter the nature or severity of
incidents as measured by specific acts of aggression or violence." Abusers
simply did not consider whether children were witnessing the violence in
determining whether to be violent towards their intimate partners and whether
the violence they utilized was severe, causing serious injury. Children exhibit
symptoms of witnessing domestic violence almost immediately after witnessing
it55 and this should be considered in developing appropriate and effective
interventions for victims and their children.
54 Hutchinson, I. & Hirschel, D. "The Effects of Children's Presence on Woman Abuse", Violence and
Victims, Vol. 16, No. 1 (2001): Springer Publishing Company.
55 Pagelow, Mildred. "Effects of Domestic Violence on Children and The Consequences of Custody and
Visitation Agreements". Mediation Quarterly 7, pp. 347-363 (1990).; Jaffe, Peter G. "Children of Battered
Women". (1994)
Frequency and Longevity of Exposure
The frequency and length of time a child is exposed to domestic violence may
impact the degree to which s/he is traumatized. According to one study of 906
children in domestic violence shelters, almost half of their mothers had been
abused for more than five years, weekly or more frequently.56 "Over a longer
period of time, the child's exposure to violence may lead to later violence on the
part of the child…as well as to other serious emotional and behavioral
problems."57 Children who have been exposed to violence more frequently over
longer periods of time may experience the following:
The child may constantly anticipate the next violent episode
Because children are confused by the violence and abuse they witness, they may
feel anxious and constantly fear future violence. The abuser's behavior may be
unpredictable and children may feel "caught off guard" when violent incidents
occur after relatively "calm" periods of time. Children may feel helpless to stop
the violence and may avoid going home, choosing to stay away from home and
refusing to take friends to their house. Domestic violence creates instability and
child observers may learn over time that their efforts to avoid the violence are
ultimately unproductive.
56 Layzer, J., Goodson, B., & de Lange, C. (1986, March – April). Children in shelters. Children Today, 5-
11.
57 Kalmuss, D. "The Intergenerational Transmission of Marital Aggression." Journal of Marriage and the
Family, XLVI, pp.11-19, (1984).
The child may resort to the use of violence against the abusive parent
When children are exposed to violence for longer periods of time and may have
observed ineffective intervention by law enforcement and the judicial system,
they may feel abandoned and left to defend themselves. When some children
are exposed to domestic violence, they may resort to the use of violence against
the abusive parent in an effort to stop the abuse. Many factors may contribute
to child observers' decisions to violently retaliate against the abuser in an
attempt to protect the battered parent. Some juveniles who commit homicide
killed their mothers' batterers in an attempt to intervene or in an attempt to
retaliate against the batterers for past abuse and violence. Additionally, child
observers may utilize violence in self-defense against a domestic violence
offender who is also a child abuser. The factors influencing child observers' use
of fatal violence may be similar to battered women's decisions to kill their
abusers. Some of the factors may include severe isolation, a history of severe
physical and sexual abuse, feelings of hopelessness and desperation, the inability
of the legal and law enforcement systems to stop the abuse, fear that s/he
would die at the hands of the abuser and ineffective attempts to leave the
abuser (i.e. the abuser finds her/him and forces her/him to return). Additionally,
child observers may not have access to information about available services or
the resources to seek such services (i.e. do not have access to a car, do not have
a driver's license, do not have money for public transportation, etc.).
The child may become desensitized or apathetic
When children have been exposed to violence for long periods of time without
significant consequence or a reduction in the abuse, they may become
desensitized to violence and abuse perpetrated against the battered parent and
themselves. Child witnesses may minimize the seriousness of injury, may not
completely understand the long-term effects of abuse and/or may have become
resigned to accept the inevitable.
In a Boston City Hospital study, one in every ten children had witnessed a
shooting or stabbing by age six.58
The child may begin to blame the battered parent
Child observers may even begin to blame the battered parents and direct their
frustration and anger towards the adult victims. Research suggests that when
children are repeatedly exposed to marital conflict and violence, they become
more reactive. In a recent model, children's feelings of emotional insecurity
were increased (possibly impairing their capacity to regulate their emotions,
potentially resulting in increased behavioral reactivity) due to repeated exposure
to marital conflict.59
58 Taylor, L., Zuckerman, B., Harik, V. and Grovers, B. "Exposure to Violence Among Inner City Parents
and Young Children" ADJC, 146: 487 (1992)
59 Davies, P.T., & Cummings, E.M. (1994). Marital conflict and child adjustment: An emotional security
hypothesis. Psychological Bulletin, 116, 387-411.
Family Dynamics
Experts have compared the responses of child observers to those of children of
alcoholics or children of war.60 Specifically, comparisons have been made
regarding the types of roles children play in homes with domestic violence and
homes with substance abuse. In an effort to survive and achieve some level of
stability and sense of control, children living in homes with domestic violence
often adapt by assuming specific roles in the family. Some of the various roles
are as follows:
Caretaker: This child is typically the older child, possibly female who takes care
of the abused parent, the abusive parent and other siblings. This child matures
quickly and often assumes adult responsibilities. The caretaker child may make
adult decisions and may serve as a surrogate parent or authority figure to
younger siblings. Unfortunately, these children typically "grow up too fast" and
often "lose their childhood."
Protector/Hero: This child is typically an older male. He may defend or
protect the battered parent. This child may intervene in violent altercations
while feeling helpless to stop the abuse. These children often feel like failures
60 Jaffe, Peter G. "Children of Battered Women". (1994)
and may turn to escapist behaviors (drugs, alcohol, gangs, non-violent juvenile
delinquent behaviors such as truancy and running away, etc.).
Attention Seeker/"Scape Goat": This child seeks attention as a means of
attaining a sense of control over the situation or as a measure to disclose the
abuse. They may exhibit problem behaviors, may have poor boundaries and
may take a lot of risks. Additionally, these children are frequently identified as
"problem children" and may be used as a "scape goat" for problems at home.
This child may be at an increased risk of being the victim of child abuse.
Attention seekers may also seek positive attention by becoming "perfectionists,"
attempting to please others. These children are often "crying out" for help.
Abuser: This child is typically an older male. He may be aggressive and
abusive towards younger siblings or the battered parent. This child may model
abusive and violent behaviors in dating relationships and may engage in violent
juvenile delinquency, committing physical and sexual assaults. These children
may adopt the position of "head of the household" if the abuser is removed from
the home.
Other Roles: Children may also take on one of several different roles within the
household including "the lonely child" who chooses to be alone and is isolated
within the household, "the clown" who tries to break the tension, making
everyone laugh, or "the hero" who can do no wrong and is often an overachiever
who may be favored by the abuser.61
Direct Victimization
Increasingly, data is being collected regarding the coexistence of domestic
violence and child abuse/maltreatment. Estimates of an overlap between partner
abuse and child abuse range from 30% to 60%.62 Families in which women are
subjected to violence experience a rate of child abuse that is double that of
families in which there is no violence.63 And, data suggests that in the
population of abused and neglected children, eleven percent (11%) to forty-five
percent (45%) will have mothers who are being abused.64 The coexistence of
domestic violence and child abuse/maltreatment is particularly harmful since
statistics suggest that the more types of violence children are exposed to, the
less well adjusted they will be.65 Children who are exposed to the battering of
their mothers suffer the same harm and display the same symptoms as children
who are actually abused, including the symptoms of post traumatic stress
disorder.66 There is consensus that "…it appears that children who are both
61 Sunburst Communications, Real People: Violence in the Family, 1997.
62 Hughes, H.M. (1988). Psychological and behavioral correlates of family violence in child witnesses and
victims. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 58 (1), 77-90. And O’keefe, M. (1995). Predictors of child
abuse in martially violent families. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 10 (1), 3-25.
63 Straus, M.A., Gelles, R.J., & Steinmetz, S.K. (1980 (1983)). Behind closed doors: Violence in the
American Family. Garden City, NY: Anchor.
64 Coohey, C. (1996). Child maltreatment: Testing the social isolation hypothesis. Child Abuse and
Neglect, 20, 241-254.
65 Hughes, Honore M. (August 1992) "Impact of Spouse Abuse on Children of Battered Women:
Implications for Practice". Violence Update, 8-11.
66 Children of Battered Women, pp. 71-73: Ending the Cycle, pp.29-32 and 172-173.
witnesses of their fathers' violence toward their mothers and victims of child
abuse experience the most profound adverse effects."67
Many of the tactics used by domestic violence perpetrators are similar to those
used by child abusers. Both domestic violence offenders and child abusers:
Feel a sense of entitlement, feel justified and blame the victim
Are manipulative
"Groom" their victims
Maintain a good public image
Are selfish, self-centered - goal is self-gratification, power and control
Are exploitative and use other people for their own purposes
Sow divisions within the family and isolate victim from support system
Confuse love with abuse
Threaten the victim (and victim's family, friends, pets, etc.)
Impose secrecy
Claim a loss of control rather than specific exercise of it
Promise to change and may express remorse
Receive societal/cultural support or affirmation
(Leberg, 1997; Groth, 1982; Herman, 1998; Sanford, 1988)
67 Children of Domestic Violence: Risks and Remedies, Barbara Hart, Legal Director, PCADV, August 1,
1996).
Child abuse victims are often told that no one will believe them, that there is no
one that can help, that they are to blame for the abuse and that if they disclose,
something very bad will happen. When these same children see their abusers
use these tactics effectively in the commission of domestic violence without
meaningful intervention or consequence, the messages are reinforced and the
child complies with the abuser's demands. Effective intervention and meaningful
consequences not only send a message to the adult victim of domestic violence
that the abuser's behavior is unacceptable and punishable, but also sends a
message to the children who are witnessing and may be experiencing first-hand
violence that help is available and that they are not68 responsible for the abuse.
Relationships between Parents and Children
In a study designed to examine the effects of adult's childhood memories of
abuse between their parents, the findings suggest that interparental abuse
negatively influenced closeness to mothers and fathers.69 Although influenced
by many factors, parent-child relationships can be significantly impacted when a
battered mother's physical, emotional and mental health are adversely affected
by domestic violence.70 Children, particularly younger ones, rely on their parents
68 Sullivan, Cris M., Juras, Jennifer, Bybee, Deborah, Nguyen, Huong, & Allen, Nicole. "How Children's
Adjustment is Affected by Their Relationships to Their Mothers' Abusers." Journal of Interpersonal
Violence, Vol. 15, No. 6, June 2000, pp.587-601.
69 Moon, Michelle “Retrospective Reports of Interparental Abuse by Adult Children From Intact
Families”, Journal of Interpersonal Violence, Vol. 15, No. 12, December 2000, pp 1323-1331, 2000 Sage
Publications, Inc.
70 Wolfe, D.A., Jaffe, P., Wilson, S.K., and Zak, L. (1985). Children of Battered Women: The Relation of
Child Behavior to Family Violence and Maternal Stress. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology,
Vol. 53, No. 5, pp. 657-665.
for stability and safety. When these same adults are the perpetrators or the
victims of domestic violence, the child does not receive the emotional and
psychological support needed. Literature reviews have highlighted how parents
experiencing marital discord may argue over child rearing/parenting practices71,
may be emotionally unavailable or may withdraw from their children72, or may
have a cold, unresponsive parenting style.73 This is particularly troubling in that
data suggests that strong parent-child relationships can help mediate negative
effects of exposure to domestic violence, and, that in some cases, adolescents'
relationships with their mothers, as well as self-esteem, buffered the effects of
high interparental conflict.74
Resiliency Factors
There is evidence that while many child observers are negatively impacted by
witnessing domestic violence, some children may exhibit tremendous resiliency,
exhibiting few if any signs of affect. A study published by the American
Psychological Association found that sixty percent (60%) of children are not
clearly affected by domestic violence after four years.75 This figure certainly
speaks to the tenacity of many children.
71 Block, J.H., Block J., & Morrison, A. (1981). Parental agreement-disagreement in child-rearing
orientations and gender-related personality correlates in children. Child Development, 49, 1163-1173.
72 Dickstein, S., & Parke, R. (1988). Social referencing in infancy: A glance at fathers and marriage. Child
Development, 59, 506-511.
73 Gottman, J.M. & Katz, L. F. (1989). Effects of marital discord on young children's peer interaction and
health. Developmental Psychology, 25, 373-381.
74 Neighbors, B., Forehand, R., & McVicar, D. (1993). Resilient adolescents and interparental conflict.
American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 63, 462-471.
75 American Psychological Association Presidential Task Force: Report on Violence and the Family, 1996.
While some children are not measurably affected, we should continue to
recognize how exposure to domestic violence places children at greater risk for a
variety of emotional and psychological problems and continue our efforts in
recognizing and responding to children living in and affected by domestic
violence.
Three categories of protective factors have been identified in the literature: 1)
support within the family system, such as a good relationship with one parent or
parenting figure, 2) support from outside the family system, such as an adult
mentor or community leader, and 3) attributes of the child, such as high
intelligence, physical attractiveness, or strong self-esteem.
Identifying protective factors that may mediate or negate the impact of exposure
to domestic violence will be particularly helpful in the development,
implementation and evaluation of interventions designed to encourage children's
resiliency (e.g. unique talents, abilities to establish supportive relationships
outside the family, abilities to regulate emotions, and interpretations and beliefs
about the violence).
POSSIBLE RESULTS OF WITNESSING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
Data suggests a strong link between witnessing domestic violence and high rates
of juvenile delinquency, drug use, suicide attempts and future adult criminal
behavior.
Juvenile Delinquency
A comparison of delinquent and nondelinquent youth found that a history of
family violence or abuse was the most significant difference between the two
groups.76 Additionally, abused children are arrested by the police four times
more often than non-abused children.77 High rates of experiencing parental
violence as children have been found in samples of violent youth and juveniles
charged with homicide.78 Non-violent delinquent acts involve truancy, vandalism,
drug use and running away. Childhood abuse has been associated with teenage
runaways with percentages ranging from 28% to 78%79. It is well documented
that family problems and abuse/victimization experiences influence youth's initial
involvement in drug use and their delinquent behavior.
76 Miller, G. (1989). "Violence by and against America's Children." Journal of Juvenile Justice Digest,
XVII(12), p.6.
77 Gelles, R. and M.A. Straus. (1988). Intimate Violence. New York: Simon and Schuster.
78 Faga, J. & Wexler, S. (1987). Family origins of violent delinquents. Criminology, 25, 643-669. Sorrells,
J. M. (1977). Kids who kill. Crime and Delinquency, 23, 312-320.
79 Lourie, I.S., Campiglia, P., James, L.R., & Dewitt, Jr. (1979). Adolescent abuse and neglect: The role of
runaway youth programs. Children Today, 8, 27-40. Farber, E.D., Kinast, C., McCoard, W.D. & Falkner,
D. (1984). Violence in families of adolescent runaways. Child Abuse and Neglect, 14(3), 227-231.
In one study of children exposed to domestic violence, 53% acted out with
parents, 60% with siblings, 30% with peers and 33% with teachers; 16% had
also appeared in juvenile court, 20% were labeled "truant", and 58% were below
average or failing in schools.80
Generational Cycle of Violence
Some research suggests that there is a "cycle of violence" in which there is an
intergenerational transmission of violence to children who are exposed to
domestic violence. In one study, men who reported their fathers hit their
mothers were significantly more likely to approve of violence against women
than men from nonviolent homes.81 Additionally, it is reported that sons of
parents who engaged in violence were three times more likely to have hit their
wives during a 12 month period and that sons of the most severely violent
parents reported wife abuse rates 1000% greater than those of sons from homes
without parental violence.82
80 Pfouts, J.H., Schopler, J.H. & Henley, H.C. (1982). Deviant behaviors of child victims and bystanders in
violent families. In. R.J. Hunner & Y.E. Walker (Eds.), Exploring the relationship between child abuse
and delinquency (pp.79-99). Montclair, NJ: Allenheld Osmun.
81 Ulbrich, P., & Huber, J. (1981, August). Observing parental violence: Distribution and effects. Journal
of Marriage and the Family, 623-631.
82 Straus, M.A., Gelles, R.J., & Steinmetz, S.K. (1980). Behind closed doors: Violence in the American
family. Garden City, NY: Anchor.
And, for adult offenders on probation, parent-to-parent violence, parent to child
violence, and children's witnessing of violence were strongly associated with
adult violent offenses.83 There is data that suggests that perpetrators of dating
violence have histories of observing and/or experiencing abuse in their families.
And, in a recent study, men who were physically or sexually abused as children
or who witnessed their mothers being abused were more likely to father a child
with a teen mother; compared with men reporting no abuse, the risk of
involvement in teen pregnancy increased by 140 percent for men who witnessed
domestic violence while growing up.84
Effective Interventions
The types of interventions and the environments in which they are offered vary
according to the needs of the child, the resources and focus of the service
providers, and the goal or objective of the intervention. Shelter or residential
programs for child observers address the short term and long term effects of
domestic violence on children while also addressing transitional issues related to
living in an unfamiliar environment. Outreach programs aimed at offering
services to child observers through community and school programs may focus
on unique needs of children who continue to live in abusive homes.
83 Koski, P.R. (1986). Parent-parent versus parent-child violence for adult offenders. Free Inquiry in
Creative Sociology, 14 (1), 51-55.
84 Anda, Robert F., Felitti, Vincent J., Chapman, Daniel P., Croft, Janet B., Williamson, David F., Santelli,
John, Dietz, Patrici M., Marks, James S. "Abused Boys, Battered Mothers, and Male Involvement in Teen
Pregnancy". Pediatrics, Vo. 107, No. 2 (February 2001).
Other children may need short-term psychological or mental health interventions
to deal with severe traumatization or special needs.
According to the American Bar Association, programs for child observers should
include the following:
1) describing and defining domestic violence,
2) helping children understand that they did not cause the violence,
3) enabling children to grieve the losses resulting from the violence,
4) teaching them empowerment strategies for preserving their safety,
and
5) showing them nonviolent methods for resolving their own conflicts.
It is important that interventions be child-focused and tailored to meet the needs
of child observers specifically. The needs of the child observers should
supersede the needs of the agency (e.g. a child may need to receive services at
the domestic violence program rather than in school to provide confidentiality
and safety).
Interventions should be age, gender and culturally appropriate and possibly
specific; group exercises should be designed to accommodate a variety of
learning styles and include accommodations for persons with physical, cognitive,
psychological and/or emotional disabilities. Additionally, certain themes may be
more appropriately stressed in certain groups according to gender (e.g. a group
exercise may be designed to bolster self-esteem and address depression in
young girls while incorporating materials for boys to enhance their empathy and
encourage healthy expressions of anger). Also, certain activities may be
designed to incorporate culturally diverse images, themes, customs and beliefs
(e.g. group exercises may be designed to examine the ways in which "families"
are defined in different cultures and to identify resources specific to certain
communities).
􀂙􉤠 Describe what domestic violence is: children should be able to talk about
their experiences with violence and the types abuse that occur in the context
of domestic violence; this includes a discussion about feelings, including
discussions about "blame" versus "responsibility" and "accountability."
􀂙􉤠 Help children understand that they did not cause the violence: children often
blame themselves for either causing the abuse or at least not being able to
stop it; they need to be taught that they are responsible for their own
feelings, thoughts and actions…not those of another.
􀂙􉤠 Enable them to grieve the losses resulting from such violence: depending on
the types of services being offered as well as the location in which children
receive services, various "losses" may be experienced by children including
loss of home, loss of neighborhood, loss of school and neighborhood friends,
loss of pets, loss of personal items, loss of battering parent, loss of dream of
"perfect family", loss of privacy, loss of battering parent's family
(grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.) Often, adult victims and children
are required to spend all of their time and emotional energy on escaping the
violence and maintaining their physical safety and well-being; because of this,
many children have not had an opportunity to talk about their feelings of
sadness and disappointment - programs should provide a safe place for
children to begin the grieving process.
􀂙􉤠 Teach them empowerment strategies for preserving their safety: safety
planning should be a key component of any intervention and incorporated
into every educational lesson plan or counseling session. Safety plans should
consider whether children continue to live with the abuser, whether the
children's visitation with the batterer is supervised and the resources that are
available to them in utilizing a safety plan (e.g. does child have a telephone
to call for help?). Additionally, children's safety plans should complement the
battered parents' safety plans; otherwise, children's safety plans may be
ineffective and may conflict with the adult victims' plans (e.g. adult victim's
safety plan includes getting the children out of the house while children's
safety plans include hiding in the bedroom). Providing physical and
emotional safety for child observers is a critical "first step" because children
cannot focus on feelings and conflict resolution methods while fearing for
their lives and the lives of their family members.
􀂙􉤠 Show them nonviolent methods of resolving their own conflicts: some
children will use violence as their only means of resolving conflict because
they have learned no other method. Additionally, some children avoid
interaction altogether, withdrawing in an effort to avoid conflict totally.
Children should be taught productive methods of compromise and negotiation
and encouraged to utilize healthy coping methods such as the use of
drawing, writing, singing, physical activity, etc.
RESOURCES
For additional information about domestic violence, it is recommended that you
utilize the following resources:
The American Bar Association
www.abanet.org/domviol/home.html
The Family Violence Prevention Fund
www.fvpf.org
The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
www.ncadv.org
The National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges
www.ncjfcj.unr.edu
The Office of Justice Programs
www.ojp.usdoj.gov/vawo/
US Department of Justice: Bureau of Justice Statistics
www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/
Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention
www.ojjdp.usdoj.gov
The North Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence
www.nccadv.org
The North Carolina Council for Women and Domestic Violence
Commission
www.doa.state.nc.us/cfw/cfw.htm
Texas Council on Family Violence: (512) 794-1133
Pennsylvania Coalition Against Domestic Violence (800) 932-4632
National Resource Center on Domestic Violence (800) 537-2238

Click tabs to swap between content that is broken into logical sections.

North Carolina Council for Women and
Domestic Violence Commission
Children and Domestic Violence:
An Information Packet
Governor Michael F. Easley
Secretary Gwynn T. Swinson,
N.C. Department of Administration
Deputy Secretary McKinley Wooten,
N.C. Department of Administration
Leslie Starsoneck, Executive Director
N.C. Council for Women and Domestic Violence Commission
Tracy Turner, Deputy Director
N.C. Council for Women and Domestic Violence Commission
1320 Mail Service Center
Raleigh, NC 27699-1320
A child witness to domestic violence drew the picture on the front cover. The child participated in the
Domestic Abuse Project Children’s Program in Minneapolis, MN. It is used with permission from the
Minnesota Domestic Abuse Project (www.domesticabuseproject.org)
The Council for Women and Domestic Violence Commission extends thanks to the Texas Council on Family
Violence and the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project of Duluth, MN for their permission to reproduce
various materials used throughout this document
Domestic Violence is a serious social, legal and public health problem that affects
millions of families each year in this country. National statistics suggest that 4
million American women experience a serious assault by an intimate partner
each year1 and that nearly one in three adult women experience at least one
physical assault by a partner in adulthood2. While in 92% of all domestic
violence incidents, crimes are committed by men against women3, males can
also be victims of domestic violence as many families are unique and no longer
represent "traditional" models. Additionally, violence by an intimate partner
accounts for about twenty-one percent (21%) of violent crime experienced by
women and about two percent (2%) of the violence experienced by men.4
In many of the homes where domestic violence occurs, children are present;
some of those homes are here in North Carolina. In the 2000-2001 fiscal year,
more than 41,000 new victims of domestic violence received services from state
funded domestic violence programs in their communities; of this number, more
1 Violence by Intimates: Analysis of Data on Crimes by Current or Former Spouses, Boyfriends, and
Girlfriends, US Department of Justice, March, 1998.
2 American Psychological Association Presidential Task Force: Report on Violence and the Family, 1996,
p. 10.
3 Violence Against Women, Bureau of Justice Statistics, US Department of Justice, January 1994.
4 Violence by Intimates: Analysis of Data on Crimes by Current or Former Spouses, Boyfriends, and
Girlfriends, US Department of Justice, Match, 1998.
Domestic Violence:
A Serious Issue for Children
than 1,200 victims were children.5 This figure only represents the number of
victims and children who actually sought services; we know that many victims
and children are not able to seek help at all and are not counted in our statistics.
And, nationally, an estimated 3.3 million children are exposed to violence by
family members against their mothers or female caretakers each year.6 Statistics
suggest that children are present in forty-one percent (41%) to fifty-five percent
(55%) of homes where police intervene in domestic violence calls.7 Additionally,
slightly more than half of female victims of intimate violence live in households
with children under the age of twelve (12) years old.8
5 NC Council for Women Service Statistics, July 1, 2000 – June 30, 2001
6 American Psychological Association Presidential Task Force: Report on Violence and the Family, 1996,
p. 11.
7 Ford, Sherry. “Domestic Violence: The Great American Spectator Sport”, Oklahoma Coalition on
Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault, July/August, 1991, p. 3.
8 Violence by Intimates: Analysis of Data on Crimes by Current or Former Spouses, Boyfriends, and
Girlfriends, US Department of Justice, Match 1998.
CHILDREN AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE:
A Fact Sheet
􀂙􉤠 Each year, 3.3 million children are exposed to
violence by a family member against their mothers
or female caretakers. (American Psychological Association's
Report on Family Violence, 1996)
􀂙􉤠 Child abuse occurs in 30% - 60% of family
violence cases that involve families with children.
("The overlap between child maltreatment and woman battering." J.L.
Edleson, Violence Against Women, February 1999)
􀂙􉤠 In homes where partner abuse occurs, children are
1,500 times more likely to be abused. (Department of
Justice, Bureau of Justice, 1993)
􀂙􉤠 Fathers who batter mothers are twice as likely to
seek sole physical custody of their children than
are non-violent fathers. (American Psychological Association's
Report on Family Violence, 1996)
􀂙􉤠 In one study, 27% of domestic violence homicide
victims were children. (Florida Governor's Task Force on
Domestic and Sexual Violence, Florida Mortality Project, 1997, p.45)
􀂙􉤠 In the 2000-2001 fiscal year, more than 1,200
children received services from domestic violence
programs in North Carolina. (NC Council for Women and
Domestic Violence Commission)
Research findings from the past two decades have documented children's
exposure to domestic violence as well as studied the impact of that exposure.
The results of the research have sometimes been conflicting and confusing, and
determining whether, and to what extent, children are impacted by witnessing
violence in their homes has been particularly challenging. What is clear,
however, is that of the children who are exposed to domestic violence, a
significant number of them are profoundly impacted producing short-term and
sometimes long-term effects.
The purpose of this packet is to provide a basic introduction to the issue, to
provide general information about the effects of domestic violence on children,
and to refer readers to additional resources and information that may be helpful.
While research findings are referenced and cited, much of the information
contained in this packet is anecdotal and relies heavily on information obtained
from working directly with child observers and adult victims of domestic violence.
This packet is designed for use by domestic violence and children's advocates
interested in gaining a greater awareness and basic understanding of the ways in
which children may be affected by violence in their homes.
For a more comprehensive literature review and explanation of research findings,
you may access publications by authors/researchers such as Gayla Margolin and
Robert Geffner, Peter Jaffee and Marlies Suderman, in works such as "Effects of
Family & Community Violence on Children" and "Children Exposed to Domestic
Violence: Current Issues in Research, Intervention, Prevention and Policy
Development".
How Are Children Abused in Domestic Violence?
Children may be abused in a variety of ways by living in and being exposed to
domestic violence in their homes. As direct victims of child abuse or neglect,
many children exposed to domestic violence often experience not only the
trauma of seeing and hearing their caretaker being battered by another
caretaker, but also the effects of being physically and/or sexually abused
themselves. Children are often "pawns" in domestic violence. The power and
control issues at the core of abusers' interactions with their adult victims are
often present in the dynamics between abusers and their children; the tactics
employed by an abuser against his/her adult partner are often replicated with
the children.
Children are at risk both while living with, and when separated from, their
abusive parents. Batterers abuse their children for a variety of reasons: 1) to
coerce the abused parent into complying with their demands (e.g. reconcile,
dismiss the domestic violence protective order, etc.), 2) to establish and maintain
control over children in an effort to maintain a position of authority and control
over the abused parent within the family structure (e.g. to be seen as the only
parent figure, undermining the parental role of the battered parent), and/or 3) to
intentionally inflict harm on the children. Domestic abuse is not only harmful to
the adult victim and supports an imbalance of power in the family that can be
destructive, but also directly harms the children.
Tactics Used in the Abuse of Children
Abusers use children in an effort to hurt, manipulate and further control their
adult partners.
Some tactics used in intact relationships:
• Undermining the authority or parenting of the battered parent
• Criticizing the battered parent in front of the children
• Interfering with the battered parent meeting the needs of the children
• Destroying the children's respect for the battered parent
• Assaulting or abusing the children's parent after arguing about them and/or
issues related to the children
• Blaming the violence and abuse on the battered parent
• Buying presents and making promises of change to children, battered parent
• Manipulating them emotionally, getting them to feel sorry for him/her
• Forcing the children to "take sides"
• Putting the children in the middle - physically and/or emotionally
• Threatening or actually hurting, abducting and/or killing the children
• Threatening to sue for custody
• Threatening to make a false report to child welfare services
Some tactics used after separation:
• Blaming his/her absence on the battered parent
• Encouraging the children to pressure the battered parent to reconcile
• Using the children to carry messages
• Forcing the children to "spy" and report on the battered parent
• Returning the children from visitation in poor condition
• Using issues related to the children to further harass the battered parent
• Becoming "super parent" in attempt to present self as "better parent"
• Choosing one child over another/ "pitting" children against one another
• Retaliating through excessive custody and visitation court filings/cases
• Manipulating child visitation "pick up" and "drop off" times and locations
• Emotionally and physically neglecting or abusing children during visitation
• Failing to pay child support or withholding support for children's needs
• Demanding access to children's health, school, daycare records to "track
down" the location of the battered parent (especially if hiding or relocated)
Domestic Violence: A Problem For Children
Children exposed to domestic violence are impacted differently. Some child
observers are impacted psychologically, emotionally and/or physically sometimes
exhibiting effects both short and long term. Some child observers possess
individual protective factors, and/or situational factors contribute to their
resiliency and the development of healthy coping techniques.
The degree to which children are impacted by domestic violence may be
influenced by individual characteristics such as age and gender. Additionally,
environmental factors such as children's proximity to the violence, the severity
and chronicity of the violence witnessed, and the co-existence of child abuse or
neglect may influence whether children are traumatized and to what degree.
There are also certain individual and situational factors that also potentially
enhance and contribute to child observers' resiliency.
While these factors are not absolute indicators of whether a child will be exposed
to the violence, whether a child will be more effected at age seven than at age
three, or whether a juvenile will engage in delinquent activity, there is empirical
data to suggest that these factors may influence how children are impacted by
domestic violence in their homes.
Exposure to domestic violence usually includes seeing a violent incident, hearing
physical and verbal abuse, witnessing the aftermath of an altercation such as
broken furniture and destroyed property, observing the physical injuries of the
battered parent, and suffering the consequences of other controlling and abusive
tactics which result in child maltreatment and neglect. "Many parents minimize
or deny the presence of children while the mothers are being assaulted;
however, interviews with children of battered women reveal that they have seen
and heard, and can describe, detailed accounts of violent behavior that their
mother or father never realized they have witnessed." 9
Children of domestic violence often suffer physical injuries, stress-related health
disorders related to chronic maltreatment in families experiencing interparental
violence. Additionally, child witnesses may lack problem-solving skills and
impulse control, may lack social skills, may be immature and may act out with
their parents, siblings and peers.
9 Jaffe, P, Wolfe, D. and S.K. Wilson. Children of Battered Women. (1990)
Effects of Witnessing Domestic Violence
PSYCHOLOGICAL EFFECTS
Children who are exposed to domestic violence are often affected
psychologically. Child observers may experience developmental delays, sleeping
and eating disorders, psychosomatic symptoms and/or cognitive delays and
disabilities. Children's normal developmental patterns may be disrupted,
resulting in impaired cognitive, emotional and/or behavioral adjustment, as found
among children who chronically witnessed abuse.10 Additionally, children as
young as one year began to regress into states later diagnosed as "mental
retardation" when exposed to parental hostilities…11. Exposure to domestic
violence has also been linked with social competence problems12, impairing their
abilities to empathize,13 and to the development of extreme approaches to
problem solving14.
10 "Fact Sheet on Children of Men Who Batter", compiled by the National Organization for Men Against
Sexism, 1993, p. 2.
11 Hilton, N. Zoae, "Battered Women's Concerns About Their Children Witnessing Wife Assault", Journal
of Interpersonal Violence, Vol. 7, No. 1, Match 1992: 77-86.
12 Wolfe, D.A., Zak, L., Wilson, S. & Jaffe P. (1986). Child witnesses to violence between parents: Critical
issues in behavioral and social adjustment. Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 14, 95-104.
13 Hinchey, F.S., & Gaveleck, J.R. (1982). Empathetic responding in children of battered mothers. Child
Abuse and Neglect, 6, 395-401.
14 Rosenberg, M.S. (1987). The children of battered women: The effects of witnessing violence on their
social problem-solving abilities. Behavior Therapist, 4, 85-89.
Additionally, among preschoolers, Davidson, Alessi and Hearn15 noted that
"(they) often experience insomnia, sleepwalking, nightmares and bed
wetting…as well as regressing to earlier stages of functioning." Children exposed
to domestic violence also suffer from impulsivity, depression and poor self-esteem.
Child observers may suffer psychological damage in the form of: 1)
immediate trauma, 2) adverse affects on their development, 3) living with high
stress and fear, and 4) exposure to role models that utilize violence and abuse.16
Children may exhibit short-term, crisis induced and long-term, chronic symptoms
of witnessing domestic abuse.
"Exposure to parents' violence has both immediate effects, as seen in transient
distress symptoms, and chronic effects, such as major symptoms of
psychopathology and the extension of relationship patterns into the next
generation."17 Short-term effects of witnessing interparental abuse may include
nightmares, psychosomatic complaints, and adjustment issues and long-term
effects include chronic illness, juvenile delinquency and dating violence.
15 Hilton, N. Zoe, "Battered Women's Concerns About Their Children Witnessing Wife Assault", Journal
of Interpersonal Violence, Vol. 7, No. 1, March 1992: p. 77-86.
16 "The Effects of Woman Abuse on Children" Psychological and Legal Authority" Second Edition.
National Center on Women and Family Law, Inc., 275 Seventh Ave., Ste 1206, New York, NY 10001.
17 Margolin, Gayla, "Effects of Family and Community Violence on Children".
PSYCHOLOGICAL AND COGNITIVE EFFECTS*
Developmental Delays
Impaired Speech (stuttering, poor verbal development)
Delayed crawling or walking
Impaired reflexes and responses
Learning disabilities
Mental retardation
Poor motor skills
Eating Disorders
Anorexia
Bulimia Nervosa
Compulsive overeating
Sleeping Disorders
Insomnia
Nightmares and Night terrors
Sleepwalking
Anxiety Disorders
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder symptoms
Panic attacks
Separation anxiety
Phobias
Regressive Behaviors
Bed-wetting
Thumb sucking
Immature actions, gestures
Using physical expression exclusively
Cognitive Problems
Poor problem solving skills
Lacks concentration / impulsive
Excessive fantasy in play
*These symptoms are not separately indicative of exposure to domestic violence
but, when combined, may create a cause for concern.
EMOTIONAL EFFECTS
Children may be affected differently from being exposed to domestic violence.
Some research suggests that the effects of exposure to domestic violence are
similar to the effects of child abuse. Some children may withdraw and become
reclusive while other children become overtly hostile and aggressive. Children
may react differently to the violence employing a variety of coping techniques,
some healthy and some not, many as techniques for survival. Some feelings
that are common among child observers are guilt, helplessness, fear, confusion,
sadness and anger. They may be ill equipped or reluctant to discuss feelings
because they have been discouraged from talking about the violence in their
homes or, over time, have become apathetic or desensitized to the abuse.
Sometimes, feelings of frustration and fear are expressed through aggressive
behaviors either towards others or themselves. Some children withdraw and
become emotionally "numb." Still other children become overachievers and
often devote their attention to areas of their lives over which they feel they have
some degree of control (e.g. academics, athletics, arts and crafts, etc.). In one
study, behavioral problems were reported in one-third (1/3) of the children of
spouse-abuse couples.18
18 Hilberman, E. and Munson, K. (1977-78). "Sixty Battered Women." Victimology: An International
Journal, 2, p. 3-4.
Child Observers
Possible Reactions:
Aggressive, Violent or Abusive OR Passive
Extraverted OR Reclusive/Withdrawn
Homicide OR Suicide
Underachiever OR Overachiever
Inattentive OR Perfectionist/"Pleaser"
(NOTE: Children may exhibit reactions consistent with one or both of these
categories at different stages in their development and in relation to exposure)
Possible Unhealthy Coping Techniques:
Using Drugs and/or Alcohol
Becoming Emotionally Detached or "Numb"
Denying / Avoiding
Dating and/or Sexual Activity At Early Age
Being Truant
Running Away
Hurting Self (Self-Mutilation)
Destroying Property
Hurting Siblings or Pets
Engaging in Risk Taking Behaviors
Abusing Food / Developing Eating Disorder
Neglecting Personal Hygiene
Child observers may mature faster by assuming adult roles and responsibilities.
Other children mature slower as a result of poor interpersonal skills and an
inability to cope with common stress factors; child observers may also have
difficulties establishing healthy boundaries. They may deny the abuse, feel guilty
about "choosing sides" or may feel responsible for causing or not stopping the
abuse. Exposure to domestic violence has been associated with internalizing and
externalizing problems19 and aggression and difficult temperaments20. Child
observers may also suffer from low self-esteem and may have little trust of or
respect for adults and authority figures. "There is a growing literature indicating
that children exposed to wife assault experience such internalizing problems as
withdrawal and depression and such externalizing problems as aggressiveness,
argumentativeness, and hyperactivity.21
19 McCloskey, L.A., Figueredo, A.J. & Koss, M.P. (1995). The effects of systemic family violence on
children's mental health. Child Development, 66, 1239-1261.
20 Holden, G.W., & Ritchie, K.L. (1991). Linking extreme marital discord, child rearing, and child
behavior problems: Evidence from battered women. Child Development, 62, 311-327.
21 Jaffe, P., Wolfe, D, Wilson, S.K. & Zak, L. (1986b). Family violence and child adjustment: A
comparative analysis of girls' and boys' behavioral symptoms. American Journal of Psychiatry, 143, 74-77.
EMOTIONAL AND BEHAVIORAL EFFECTS*
Externalizing
Aggressiveness / Bullying
Violence directed at others (assault, homicide)
Blaming or Projecting onto others
Anxiousness
Internalizing
Withdrawing
Becoming Passive
Becoming Clingy / dependent
Self-destructive behaviors (violence toward self)
Detached or "Numb"
Interpersonal Skills
Poor communication skills
Unable to compromise / negotiate
Resolves conflict with violence only
Poor judgment / irresponsibility
Unhealthy coping methods
Routine problems exaggerated
Poor perception
Modeling abusive or violent behaviors
Self Image
Feelings of helplessness
Low self-esteem
Feelings of insignificance
Believe cause of violence
See self as failure
Feelings of self-hatred
*These symptoms are not separately indicative of exposure to domestic violence
but, when combined, may create a cause for concern.
EMOTIONS OF CHILD OBSERVERS
FEAR:
-That their mom/dad will be hurt or killed
-That they and/or their siblings will be hurt or killed
-That they should tell someone but don't want to make it worse
-That if they tell, the battering parent won't love them anymore
ANGER:
-Angry with the battering parent
-Angry with the parent who is being abused
-Angry with siblings and/or other family members
-Angry with themselves for not stopping the violence
CONFUSION:
-They may love and hate the battering parent
-They may not know what causes the violence or how to stop it
-They may be confused about whether it is abuse at all
GUILT:
-Guilty because they believe they are the "cause" of the violence; it's their fault
-Guilty because they believe they should intervene but sometimes don't
-Guilty about using unhealthy coping mechanisms to "feel better" or "escape"
-Guilty about being angry with the parent who is being abused and siblings
HELPLESSNESS:
-Helpless to stop the violence
-Helpless to escape the abuse permanently
-Helpless to get help for themselves, the batterer, the abused parent, siblings
-Helpless to choose differently for themselves (as they become adults)
PHYSICAL EFFECTS
Children who witness domestic violence are also physically affected by the abuse.
Many children are directly injured in the context of protecting and defending
their battered parents. Other children are physically injured inadvertently by
thrown objects. Many children also experience physical effects related to a lack
of basic resources and poor living conditions due to abusers' manipulation of
family finances, resulting in neglect and maltreatment.
Child observers may suffer from a host of physical ailments including headaches,
stomach problems, skin disorders, asthma and colds. In one study, it was
reported that more than half of the infants who were exposed to domestic
violence had health problems, including weight and eating problems (15%), and
sleep problems or reduced responsiveness were found for nearly twenty percent
(20%).22 Additionally, increases in sleep disorders, abdominal distress,
headaches and backaches, and obesity were found to be physical consequences
of family violence.23
22 Layzer, J.I, Goodson, B.D. & deLange, C. (1986). Children in shelters. Response, 9, 2-5.
23 Moeller, T.P., Bachmann, G.A. & Moeller, J.R. (1993). The combined effects of physical, sexual and
emotional abuse during childhood: Long-term health consequences for women. Child Abuse and Neglect,
17(5), 623-640. Browne, A., & Finkelhor, D. (1986). Impact of child sexual abuse: A review of the
research. Psychological Bulletin, 99, 6-76.
Children's access to healthcare and medicines may be compromised which is
particularly problematic in that many child observers suffer from overall poor
health and malnutrition due to living conditions created by domestic violence
(and may in greater need for supportive health care measures).
Child observers can be both primary victims of intentional physical, emotional
and/or sexual child abuse and victims of violence directed at and intended for
adults. Child abuse often coexists in families experiencing domestic violence.
Children who witness domestic violence have an increased likelihood of being the
target of child abuse24, estimating that approximately forty-five percent (45%) to
seventy percent (70%) of children exposed to marital violence are also victims of
physical child abuse25. Additionally, child observers are also at risk for sexual
abuse and are twelve to fourteen times more likely to experience sexual abuse
by the mother's partner as well as seven times more likely to report sexual abuse
occurring outside the home26. A large-scale, national survey found that
approximately fifty percent (50%) of the men who frequently assaulted their
wives also frequently abused their children.27 And, in homes where partner
abuse occurs, children are 1,500 times more likely to be abused.28
24 Wolfe, D.A., Jaffe, P., Wilson, S.K., & Zak, L. (1985) Children of Battered Women.
25 Layzer, J.I., Goodson, B.D. & deLange, C. (1986). Children in shelters. Response, 9, 2-5.
26 McCloskey, L.A., Figueredo, A.J. & Koss, M.P. (1995). The effects of systemic family violence on
children's mental health. Child Development, 66, 1239-1261.
27 Straus, Murray A. and Gelles, Richard J., Physical Violence in American Families, 1990.
28 Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Assistance, Family Violence: Interventions in the Justice
System, 1993.
Children who observe incidents of domestic violence are often injured when
attempting to protect their battered parents; in one study, sixty-two percent
(62%) of sons fourteen years old and older were injured when they attempted to
protect their mothers from attacks by abusive male partners.29 Children are
often injured by thrown objects and violence intended for adult victims.
Sometimes, children are fatally injured. In a Florida study of all domestic
violence homicides during a one-year period, twenty-seven percent (27%) of
domestic violence homicide victims were children.30
In domestic violence homes, money typically spent on diapers, formula,
medications, health care, nutritional food and school supplies may not be
allocated by the batterer. Basic needs such as housing, utilities and clothing may
be compromised resulting in unhealthy, harmful living conditions. Thus, children
suffer physically from the abuser's control over the family finances as well as
from injuries received as a result of direct physical abuse and violence.
29 Roy, Maria. Children in the Crossfire. 1988.
30 Florida Governor's Task Force on Domestic and Sexual Violence, Florida Mortality Project, 1997, 45.
PHYSICAL EFFECTS*
Headaches
Stomach Problems
Ulcers
Indigestion
Nausea/vomiting
Diarrhea
Constipation
Injuries
Bruises
Sprained or broken bones
Black eye(s)
Scratches/abrasions
Cuts/wounds
Burn marks/scalding
Gun shot wounds
Internal injuries
Soreness or aching
Teeth knocked out
Hair pulled out
Damage to eyes/ears
Head or neck injuries
Skin Conditions
Acne / Skin Rashes
General Poor Health
More susceptible to colds / common illness
Lethargic and lifeless / May exhibit "failure to thrive" symptoms
Poor nutrition / malnourishment
Fatigue
Allergies
*These symptoms are not separately indicative of exposure to domestic violence
but, when combined, may create cause for concern.
INDIVIDUAL FACTORS WHICH MAY INFLUENCE THE
DEGREE OF TRAUMATIZATION
Children are at great risk for physical injury as a result of living with domestic
violence. They are also at risk of being emotionally and psychologically
traumatized. Individual characteristics and factors may influence 1) whether
children are exposed to violence, (2) the type and severity of violence children
are exposed to, (3) the impact of witnessing domestic violence, and (4) the
outcomes of the impact. Some factors which may affect the extent to which
children are impacted by witnessing domestic violence are as follows:
Age
A child's age may influence how s/he is impacted by witnessing violence between
her/his parents, as well as how s/he exhibits or demonstrates the effect. For
instance, a seven year-old child may witness a domestic violence altercation and,
as a result of poor problem solving skills developed from exposure to previous
family conflict, may act aggressively with a peer. In other words, the child may
have been impacted each time s/he witnessed the conflict, but expressed this
differently given her/his age (e.g. would have an opportunity to act out with
peers at 7 whereas s/he was not exposed to peers at age 3). Researchers have
reported an inverse relationship between age and marital violence.31, suggesting
31 Suitor, J.J., Pillemer, K., & Straus. M.A. (1990). Marital violence in a life course perspective. In M.A.
Straus & R.J. Gelles (Eds), Physical violence in American families (pp.305-320). New Brunswick, NJ:
Transaction.
that children who are younger may be at a higher risk of being exposed to more
severe forms of violence. As noted in one study, it is suggested that during the
early stages of marriage, when young children are more likely to be in the home,
rates of marital violence are particularly high.32 Young children may be exposed
to violence and at risk of being injured by thrown objects because of
undeveloped reflexes and/or due to their being closer to the violence (younger
children are more likely to be held by a battered parent thereby increasing the
risk of injury during the parent's assault). "Although the evidence is clearer for
child abuse, exposure to marital violence has been shown to occur at critical
developmental phases", 33 regardless of exact age. It is suggested that children
may experience violence during certain developmental stages in which children
naturally seek independence from their caretakers; it is during these stages in
particular when children may reject parents' attitudes, ideas and behaviors or
challenge the power and control dynamics within the family. Although there is
evidence to suggest that a child observer's level of adjustment is affected by the
child's developmental stage and the child's experiences with abuse, no clear
patterns specify effects for specific ages.34
Nevertheless, some general effects of exposure to domestic violence for varying
age groups are listed as follows:
32 Fantuzzo, J.W. & Lindquist, C.V. (1989). The effects of observing conjugal violence on children: A
review and analysis of research methodology. Journal of Family Violence, 4, 77-93.
33 Margolin, Gayla, "Effects of Family and Community Violence on Children".
34 Hughes, H.M., Parkison, D., & Vargo, M. (1989). Witnessing spouse abuse and experiencing physical
abuse: A "double whammy?" Journal of Family Violence, 4, 197-210.
Gender
There is debate as to whether a child's gender influences how s/he is affected by
exposure to domestic violence. Some research suggests that that there are no
differences between boys and girls35. Still other researchers have found similar
effects for boys and girls with respect to social competence and internalizing
behaviors36. There is also debate as to whether boys or girls are more or less
likely to be exposed to domestic violence. Some data suggests that girls are
more shielded from family violence than boys37 while other data suggests that
boys and girls are exposed to similar levels of marital violence.38; still, another
suggestion is that girls are typically not afforded the same freedom as boys in
homes where domestic violence occurs, placing girls in the home more
frequently when assaults occur.
35 Fantuzzo, J.W., DePaola, L.M., et al (1991). Effects of interparental violence on the psychological
adjustment and competencies of young children. Journal of Counsulting and Clinical Psychology, 59, 258-
265.
36 Jaffe, P.G., Wolfe, D.A., Wilson, S.K. & Zak, L. (1986). Family violence and child adjustment: A
comparative analysis of girls' and boys' behavioral symptoms. American Journal of Psychiatry, 143, 74-76.
37 Emery, R.E. (1982). Interparental conflict and the children of discord and divorce. Psychological
Bulletin, 92, 310-330.
38 O'Keeffe, M. (1994). Linking marital violence, mother-child/father-child aggression, and child
behavioral problems. Journal of Family Violence, 9, 63-78.
Researchers have also reported significant findings for boys (i.e. that they are
affected) and insignificant findings for girls. The boys in the study showed
significantly higher levels of aggression39, more externalizing behaviors40, and
total behavior problems.41 Additionally, seventy-five percent (75%) of boys who
witness parental abuse have demonstrable behavioral problems.42 For girls,
exposure to domestic violence has been linked with less empathy than boys43,
more anxiety44 and more internalizing problems overall.45 Although inconclusive,
a significant amount of research suggests that boys may be more likely to
externalize the effects of observing domestic violence while girls may be more
likely to internalize.
39 Doumas, D., Margolin, G. & John, R.S. (1994). The intergenerational transmission of aggression across
three generations. Journal of Family Violence, 9, 157-175.
40 Jaffe, P.G., Wolfe, D.A., Wilson, S., & Zak,. L. (1986). Family violence and child adjustment: A
comparative analysis of girls' and boys' behavioral symptoms. American Journal of Psychiatry, 143, 74-76.
41 Wolfe, D.A., Jaffe, P.G., Wilson, S.K. & Zak, L. (1985). Children of battered women: The relation of
child behavior to family violence and maternal stress. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 53,
657-665.
42 Jaffe, P.G., S. Wilson and D. Wolfe (1986). "Promoting Changes in Attitudes and Understanding of
Conflict Resolution Among Child Witnesses of Family Violence." Canadian Journal of Behavioral
Science Review, XVIII(4), pp. 356-366.
43 Hinchey, F.S., & Gavelek, J.R. (1982). Sixty battered women. Victimology, 2, 460-470.
44 Hughes, H.M. & Barad, S.J. (1983). Psychological functioning of children in battered women's shelters:
A preliminary investigation. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 53, 525-531.
45 Holden, G.W. & Ritchie, K.L. (1991). Linking extreme marital discord, child rearing, and child
behavior problems: Evidence from battered women.
Child Development, 62, 311-327.
The following behaviors are examples of externalization and internalization that
may be closely associated with gender but not in all cases.
EXTERNALIZATION
Child may be more aggressive or violent towards others
Child may seek "active" solutions to problems
(do not consider "ignoring" or "walking away" as solutions)
Child may project feelings and blame on others
(identify outside influence/factor as causal - blame others)
Child may be involved in delinquent behaviors
(may have extended privileges and less supervision)
Child may identify and express feelings of anger only
(may believe that feelings of "fear" and "sadness" indicate weakness)
Child may be expected to play certain roles in family and in society
(may believe it is his job to intervene, to protect siblings, to be in control)
INTERNALIZATION
Child may be more passive or abusive toward self
(may direct abuse toward self - self mutilation, eating disorder, suicide)
Child may become withdrawn or reclusive
Child may blame self
(may believe s/he caused the abuse or deserved it)
Child may turn to drugs and/or alcohol
(may feel this is only means of coping or escaping/false sense of control)
Child may identify feelings of sadness and guilt
(may suppress feelings of anger which manifest as depression or anxiety)
Child may be expected to play certain roles in family and society
(may believe it is her/his job to take care of parents and siblings /
may be a perfectionist/has to take on adult roles-no longer allowed to be child)
Child may have limited privileges or have to meet different expectations
Physical/Mental/Psychological Limitations
Child observers who have mental health issues, have physical disabilities, and/or
are mentally impaired may be at greater risk of being targets of abuse,
correlating with the number of child abuse victims who also witness domestic
violence. While the disabilities do not cause a child to be abused, certain
limitations or special needs may render a child observer with disabilities more
vulnerable. Girls with any kind of disability are almost twice as likely to be
sexually abused as are non-disabled children and one study of abused children
found that more than half (53.4%) of deaf girls had been sexually abused.46 In
a study of ninety-three female psychiatric emergency room patients, fifty-three
percent (53%) reported childhood sexual abuse and forty-two percent (42%)
reported physical abuse, being "…the most powerful predictor of later psychiatric
symptoms and disorders".47 Additional barriers may exist for child observers with
physical and mental disabilities as they may be less capable of removing
themselves from the area in which the violent altercation occurs.
46 J. Petersilia, "Report to the California Senate Public Safety Committee Hearings on Persons with
Developmental Disabilities in the Criminal Justice System," 1998, Irvine, CA; M. Elder, "Deaf Survivors
of Sexual Abuse: A Look at the Issues," Moving Forward News Journal 2, no. 5, 1993.
47 J. Briere, et al. "Lifetime Victimization History, Demographics, and Clinical Status in Female
Psychiatric Emergency Room Patients," Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease 185, no. 2, 1997, pp.95-
101.
Additionally, children with special needs may experience difficulty in soliciting
emergency assistance. Reports exist of 911 operators hanging up on TTY calls
from deaf (victims).48 Additionally, the judicial, law enforcement and social
services communities may not be equipped to offer the specialized intervention
and support services that differently-abled child witnesses may need,
contributing to further victimization. Neglect and maltreatment as a result of
domestic violence may especially impact children with special needs for specific
medication, health care equipment and/or access to emergency medical
intervention.
Individual Traits
Although research has not examined whether children who have higher or lower
IQs may be impacted by domestic violence at higher or lower degrees, children's
48 Berkeley Planning Associates, Meeting the Needs of Women with Disabilities.
reasoning abilities and problem solving skills may influence their ability to identify
appropriate safety measures and means of seeking help.
Children exposed to domestic violence have been found to exhibit fewer interests
and social activities and lower school performance.49 Children who excel
academically, socially, athletically or artistically may be involved in activities that
remove them from their homes potentially reducing the amount of time they
may be exposed to domestic violence.
It is important to note that while many individual traits and characteristics of
child observers influence the degree to which they are affected by witnessing
domestic violence, individual children employ markedly different coping
strategies, some of which are healthy, in responding to the abuse. Some
children engage in behaviors that help minimize the negative effects of exposure
to domestic violence, contributing to their ability to excel regardless of their
circumstances.
49 Wolfe, D.A., Zak, L., Wilson, S., & Jaffe, P. (1986). Child witnesses to violence between parents:
Critical issues in behavioral and social adjustment Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 14 (1), 95-104.
SITUATIONAL FACTORS WHICH MAY INFLUENCE THE
DEGREE OF TRAUMATIZATION
The degree to which child observers are impacted by witnessing domestic
violence is not only influenced by their individual characteristics, but also by
factors related to the environment and circumstances in which the violence
occurs. Some of the environmental factors that influence the degree to which
child observers are traumatized may include the following:
Severity and Chronicity of Violence
The degree to which children are traumatized by witnessing violence may be
influenced by the severity of the violence to which they are exposed. "Equally
important is knowing the length of time that the child has been exposed to
violence…"50. Although few studies have determined whether the extent of a
child's problems is related to whether the violence witnessed was severe, some
researchers report that the immediate impact of children's exposure to domestic
violence can be "traumatic (resulting in) fear for self, fear for their mother's
safety and self-blame."51
Children often witness severe forms of violence perpetrated against their
mothers. The physical violence witnessed can range from pushing and shoving
to homicide and suicide. A survey of New Orleans school aged children revealed
50 Margolin, Gayla, "Effects of Family and Community Violence on Children"
51 Adele Harrell, National Council on Juvenile and Family Court Judges, "A Guide to Research on Family
Violence", 28 (1993).
over ninety percent (90%) had witnessed a violent act in person, seventy
percent (70%) had seen weapons used, and forty percent (40%) had seen a
dead body.52 This is significant, as community violence has shown strong
relationships with intrafamilial violence.53
Additionally, the Boston City AWAKE Program was designed and implemented to
offer therapeutic counseling to children exposed to violence; although the
original intent of the program was to provide services to children exposed to
various types of violence (e.g. gang violence, community violence, school
violence and violence in the home), the program found that the majority of
children served by the program received services for their exposure to domestic
violence.
Do abusers consider whether children are present when assaulting their intimate
partners? In one study, it is suggested that "there were no significant
differences in the characteristics of the abusive incidents between those where
children were witnesses to the incident and those where they were not." For
example, women with children were no less (or more) likely to be slapped,
52 Osofky, J., Wewer, S., Hann, D.M. & Fick, A.C., "Can They Feel Safe Again: The Impact of
Community Violence on Infants, Toddlers, Their Parents and Practitioners: Zero to Three" Arlington, VA:
National Center for Clinical Infant Programs (1992).
53 Bell, C.C., & Jenkins, E.J. (1993). Community violence and children on Chicago's southside. In D.
Reiss, J.E. Richters, M. Radke-Yarrow, & D. Scharff (Eds.), Children and violence (pp.46-54). New York:
Guilford Press.
kicked, hit, choked, threatened with a gun, or beaten when children were
present and observed the violence."54
In terms of the degree of injury to the adult victim, that same study found that
…"from…being bruised - where approximately one half of women report this type
of injury, to being cut with a knife - children did not have a significant impact on
the injury-level sustained." In other words, children were just as likely to
witness comparatively minor forms of physical violence in comparison with more
severe forms.
In conclusion, "…(the presence of) children did not alter the nature or severity of
incidents as measured by specific acts of aggression or violence." Abusers
simply did not consider whether children were witnessing the violence in
determining whether to be violent towards their intimate partners and whether
the violence they utilized was severe, causing serious injury. Children exhibit
symptoms of witnessing domestic violence almost immediately after witnessing
it55 and this should be considered in developing appropriate and effective
interventions for victims and their children.
54 Hutchinson, I. & Hirschel, D. "The Effects of Children's Presence on Woman Abuse", Violence and
Victims, Vol. 16, No. 1 (2001): Springer Publishing Company.
55 Pagelow, Mildred. "Effects of Domestic Violence on Children and The Consequences of Custody and
Visitation Agreements". Mediation Quarterly 7, pp. 347-363 (1990).; Jaffe, Peter G. "Children of Battered
Women". (1994)
Frequency and Longevity of Exposure
The frequency and length of time a child is exposed to domestic violence may
impact the degree to which s/he is traumatized. According to one study of 906
children in domestic violence shelters, almost half of their mothers had been
abused for more than five years, weekly or more frequently.56 "Over a longer
period of time, the child's exposure to violence may lead to later violence on the
part of the child…as well as to other serious emotional and behavioral
problems."57 Children who have been exposed to violence more frequently over
longer periods of time may experience the following:
The child may constantly anticipate the next violent episode
Because children are confused by the violence and abuse they witness, they may
feel anxious and constantly fear future violence. The abuser's behavior may be
unpredictable and children may feel "caught off guard" when violent incidents
occur after relatively "calm" periods of time. Children may feel helpless to stop
the violence and may avoid going home, choosing to stay away from home and
refusing to take friends to their house. Domestic violence creates instability and
child observers may learn over time that their efforts to avoid the violence are
ultimately unproductive.
56 Layzer, J., Goodson, B., & de Lange, C. (1986, March – April). Children in shelters. Children Today, 5-
11.
57 Kalmuss, D. "The Intergenerational Transmission of Marital Aggression." Journal of Marriage and the
Family, XLVI, pp.11-19, (1984).
The child may resort to the use of violence against the abusive parent
When children are exposed to violence for longer periods of time and may have
observed ineffective intervention by law enforcement and the judicial system,
they may feel abandoned and left to defend themselves. When some children
are exposed to domestic violence, they may resort to the use of violence against
the abusive parent in an effort to stop the abuse. Many factors may contribute
to child observers' decisions to violently retaliate against the abuser in an
attempt to protect the battered parent. Some juveniles who commit homicide
killed their mothers' batterers in an attempt to intervene or in an attempt to
retaliate against the batterers for past abuse and violence. Additionally, child
observers may utilize violence in self-defense against a domestic violence
offender who is also a child abuser. The factors influencing child observers' use
of fatal violence may be similar to battered women's decisions to kill their
abusers. Some of the factors may include severe isolation, a history of severe
physical and sexual abuse, feelings of hopelessness and desperation, the inability
of the legal and law enforcement systems to stop the abuse, fear that s/he
would die at the hands of the abuser and ineffective attempts to leave the
abuser (i.e. the abuser finds her/him and forces her/him to return). Additionally,
child observers may not have access to information about available services or
the resources to seek such services (i.e. do not have access to a car, do not have
a driver's license, do not have money for public transportation, etc.).
The child may become desensitized or apathetic
When children have been exposed to violence for long periods of time without
significant consequence or a reduction in the abuse, they may become
desensitized to violence and abuse perpetrated against the battered parent and
themselves. Child witnesses may minimize the seriousness of injury, may not
completely understand the long-term effects of abuse and/or may have become
resigned to accept the inevitable.
In a Boston City Hospital study, one in every ten children had witnessed a
shooting or stabbing by age six.58
The child may begin to blame the battered parent
Child observers may even begin to blame the battered parents and direct their
frustration and anger towards the adult victims. Research suggests that when
children are repeatedly exposed to marital conflict and violence, they become
more reactive. In a recent model, children's feelings of emotional insecurity
were increased (possibly impairing their capacity to regulate their emotions,
potentially resulting in increased behavioral reactivity) due to repeated exposure
to marital conflict.59
58 Taylor, L., Zuckerman, B., Harik, V. and Grovers, B. "Exposure to Violence Among Inner City Parents
and Young Children" ADJC, 146: 487 (1992)
59 Davies, P.T., & Cummings, E.M. (1994). Marital conflict and child adjustment: An emotional security
hypothesis. Psychological Bulletin, 116, 387-411.
Family Dynamics
Experts have compared the responses of child observers to those of children of
alcoholics or children of war.60 Specifically, comparisons have been made
regarding the types of roles children play in homes with domestic violence and
homes with substance abuse. In an effort to survive and achieve some level of
stability and sense of control, children living in homes with domestic violence
often adapt by assuming specific roles in the family. Some of the various roles
are as follows:
Caretaker: This child is typically the older child, possibly female who takes care
of the abused parent, the abusive parent and other siblings. This child matures
quickly and often assumes adult responsibilities. The caretaker child may make
adult decisions and may serve as a surrogate parent or authority figure to
younger siblings. Unfortunately, these children typically "grow up too fast" and
often "lose their childhood."
Protector/Hero: This child is typically an older male. He may defend or
protect the battered parent. This child may intervene in violent altercations
while feeling helpless to stop the abuse. These children often feel like failures
60 Jaffe, Peter G. "Children of Battered Women". (1994)
and may turn to escapist behaviors (drugs, alcohol, gangs, non-violent juvenile
delinquent behaviors such as truancy and running away, etc.).
Attention Seeker/"Scape Goat": This child seeks attention as a means of
attaining a sense of control over the situation or as a measure to disclose the
abuse. They may exhibit problem behaviors, may have poor boundaries and
may take a lot of risks. Additionally, these children are frequently identified as
"problem children" and may be used as a "scape goat" for problems at home.
This child may be at an increased risk of being the victim of child abuse.
Attention seekers may also seek positive attention by becoming "perfectionists,"
attempting to please others. These children are often "crying out" for help.
Abuser: This child is typically an older male. He may be aggressive and
abusive towards younger siblings or the battered parent. This child may model
abusive and violent behaviors in dating relationships and may engage in violent
juvenile delinquency, committing physical and sexual assaults. These children
may adopt the position of "head of the household" if the abuser is removed from
the home.
Other Roles: Children may also take on one of several different roles within the
household including "the lonely child" who chooses to be alone and is isolated
within the household, "the clown" who tries to break the tension, making
everyone laugh, or "the hero" who can do no wrong and is often an overachiever
who may be favored by the abuser.61
Direct Victimization
Increasingly, data is being collected regarding the coexistence of domestic
violence and child abuse/maltreatment. Estimates of an overlap between partner
abuse and child abuse range from 30% to 60%.62 Families in which women are
subjected to violence experience a rate of child abuse that is double that of
families in which there is no violence.63 And, data suggests that in the
population of abused and neglected children, eleven percent (11%) to forty-five
percent (45%) will have mothers who are being abused.64 The coexistence of
domestic violence and child abuse/maltreatment is particularly harmful since
statistics suggest that the more types of violence children are exposed to, the
less well adjusted they will be.65 Children who are exposed to the battering of
their mothers suffer the same harm and display the same symptoms as children
who are actually abused, including the symptoms of post traumatic stress
disorder.66 There is consensus that "…it appears that children who are both
61 Sunburst Communications, Real People: Violence in the Family, 1997.
62 Hughes, H.M. (1988). Psychological and behavioral correlates of family violence in child witnesses and
victims. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 58 (1), 77-90. And O’keefe, M. (1995). Predictors of child
abuse in martially violent families. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 10 (1), 3-25.
63 Straus, M.A., Gelles, R.J., & Steinmetz, S.K. (1980 (1983)). Behind closed doors: Violence in the
American Family. Garden City, NY: Anchor.
64 Coohey, C. (1996). Child maltreatment: Testing the social isolation hypothesis. Child Abuse and
Neglect, 20, 241-254.
65 Hughes, Honore M. (August 1992) "Impact of Spouse Abuse on Children of Battered Women:
Implications for Practice". Violence Update, 8-11.
66 Children of Battered Women, pp. 71-73: Ending the Cycle, pp.29-32 and 172-173.
witnesses of their fathers' violence toward their mothers and victims of child
abuse experience the most profound adverse effects."67
Many of the tactics used by domestic violence perpetrators are similar to those
used by child abusers. Both domestic violence offenders and child abusers:
Feel a sense of entitlement, feel justified and blame the victim
Are manipulative
"Groom" their victims
Maintain a good public image
Are selfish, self-centered - goal is self-gratification, power and control
Are exploitative and use other people for their own purposes
Sow divisions within the family and isolate victim from support system
Confuse love with abuse
Threaten the victim (and victim's family, friends, pets, etc.)
Impose secrecy
Claim a loss of control rather than specific exercise of it
Promise to change and may express remorse
Receive societal/cultural support or affirmation
(Leberg, 1997; Groth, 1982; Herman, 1998; Sanford, 1988)
67 Children of Domestic Violence: Risks and Remedies, Barbara Hart, Legal Director, PCADV, August 1,
1996).
Child abuse victims are often told that no one will believe them, that there is no
one that can help, that they are to blame for the abuse and that if they disclose,
something very bad will happen. When these same children see their abusers
use these tactics effectively in the commission of domestic violence without
meaningful intervention or consequence, the messages are reinforced and the
child complies with the abuser's demands. Effective intervention and meaningful
consequences not only send a message to the adult victim of domestic violence
that the abuser's behavior is unacceptable and punishable, but also sends a
message to the children who are witnessing and may be experiencing first-hand
violence that help is available and that they are not68 responsible for the abuse.
Relationships between Parents and Children
In a study designed to examine the effects of adult's childhood memories of
abuse between their parents, the findings suggest that interparental abuse
negatively influenced closeness to mothers and fathers.69 Although influenced
by many factors, parent-child relationships can be significantly impacted when a
battered mother's physical, emotional and mental health are adversely affected
by domestic violence.70 Children, particularly younger ones, rely on their parents
68 Sullivan, Cris M., Juras, Jennifer, Bybee, Deborah, Nguyen, Huong, & Allen, Nicole. "How Children's
Adjustment is Affected by Their Relationships to Their Mothers' Abusers." Journal of Interpersonal
Violence, Vol. 15, No. 6, June 2000, pp.587-601.
69 Moon, Michelle “Retrospective Reports of Interparental Abuse by Adult Children From Intact
Families”, Journal of Interpersonal Violence, Vol. 15, No. 12, December 2000, pp 1323-1331, 2000 Sage
Publications, Inc.
70 Wolfe, D.A., Jaffe, P., Wilson, S.K., and Zak, L. (1985). Children of Battered Women: The Relation of
Child Behavior to Family Violence and Maternal Stress. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology,
Vol. 53, No. 5, pp. 657-665.
for stability and safety. When these same adults are the perpetrators or the
victims of domestic violence, the child does not receive the emotional and
psychological support needed. Literature reviews have highlighted how parents
experiencing marital discord may argue over child rearing/parenting practices71,
may be emotionally unavailable or may withdraw from their children72, or may
have a cold, unresponsive parenting style.73 This is particularly troubling in that
data suggests that strong parent-child relationships can help mediate negative
effects of exposure to domestic violence, and, that in some cases, adolescents'
relationships with their mothers, as well as self-esteem, buffered the effects of
high interparental conflict.74
Resiliency Factors
There is evidence that while many child observers are negatively impacted by
witnessing domestic violence, some children may exhibit tremendous resiliency,
exhibiting few if any signs of affect. A study published by the American
Psychological Association found that sixty percent (60%) of children are not
clearly affected by domestic violence after four years.75 This figure certainly
speaks to the tenacity of many children.
71 Block, J.H., Block J., & Morrison, A. (1981). Parental agreement-disagreement in child-rearing
orientations and gender-related personality correlates in children. Child Development, 49, 1163-1173.
72 Dickstein, S., & Parke, R. (1988). Social referencing in infancy: A glance at fathers and marriage. Child
Development, 59, 506-511.
73 Gottman, J.M. & Katz, L. F. (1989). Effects of marital discord on young children's peer interaction and
health. Developmental Psychology, 25, 373-381.
74 Neighbors, B., Forehand, R., & McVicar, D. (1993). Resilient adolescents and interparental conflict.
American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 63, 462-471.
75 American Psychological Association Presidential Task Force: Report on Violence and the Family, 1996.
While some children are not measurably affected, we should continue to
recognize how exposure to domestic violence places children at greater risk for a
variety of emotional and psychological problems and continue our efforts in
recognizing and responding to children living in and affected by domestic
violence.
Three categories of protective factors have been identified in the literature: 1)
support within the family system, such as a good relationship with one parent or
parenting figure, 2) support from outside the family system, such as an adult
mentor or community leader, and 3) attributes of the child, such as high
intelligence, physical attractiveness, or strong self-esteem.
Identifying protective factors that may mediate or negate the impact of exposure
to domestic violence will be particularly helpful in the development,
implementation and evaluation of interventions designed to encourage children's
resiliency (e.g. unique talents, abilities to establish supportive relationships
outside the family, abilities to regulate emotions, and interpretations and beliefs
about the violence).
POSSIBLE RESULTS OF WITNESSING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
Data suggests a strong link between witnessing domestic violence and high rates
of juvenile delinquency, drug use, suicide attempts and future adult criminal
behavior.
Juvenile Delinquency
A comparison of delinquent and nondelinquent youth found that a history of
family violence or abuse was the most significant difference between the two
groups.76 Additionally, abused children are arrested by the police four times
more often than non-abused children.77 High rates of experiencing parental
violence as children have been found in samples of violent youth and juveniles
charged with homicide.78 Non-violent delinquent acts involve truancy, vandalism,
drug use and running away. Childhood abuse has been associated with teenage
runaways with percentages ranging from 28% to 78%79. It is well documented
that family problems and abuse/victimization experiences influence youth's initial
involvement in drug use and their delinquent behavior.
76 Miller, G. (1989). "Violence by and against America's Children." Journal of Juvenile Justice Digest,
XVII(12), p.6.
77 Gelles, R. and M.A. Straus. (1988). Intimate Violence. New York: Simon and Schuster.
78 Faga, J. & Wexler, S. (1987). Family origins of violent delinquents. Criminology, 25, 643-669. Sorrells,
J. M. (1977). Kids who kill. Crime and Delinquency, 23, 312-320.
79 Lourie, I.S., Campiglia, P., James, L.R., & Dewitt, Jr. (1979). Adolescent abuse and neglect: The role of
runaway youth programs. Children Today, 8, 27-40. Farber, E.D., Kinast, C., McCoard, W.D. & Falkner,
D. (1984). Violence in families of adolescent runaways. Child Abuse and Neglect, 14(3), 227-231.
In one study of children exposed to domestic violence, 53% acted out with
parents, 60% with siblings, 30% with peers and 33% with teachers; 16% had
also appeared in juvenile court, 20% were labeled "truant", and 58% were below
average or failing in schools.80
Generational Cycle of Violence
Some research suggests that there is a "cycle of violence" in which there is an
intergenerational transmission of violence to children who are exposed to
domestic violence. In one study, men who reported their fathers hit their
mothers were significantly more likely to approve of violence against women
than men from nonviolent homes.81 Additionally, it is reported that sons of
parents who engaged in violence were three times more likely to have hit their
wives during a 12 month period and that sons of the most severely violent
parents reported wife abuse rates 1000% greater than those of sons from homes
without parental violence.82
80 Pfouts, J.H., Schopler, J.H. & Henley, H.C. (1982). Deviant behaviors of child victims and bystanders in
violent families. In. R.J. Hunner & Y.E. Walker (Eds.), Exploring the relationship between child abuse
and delinquency (pp.79-99). Montclair, NJ: Allenheld Osmun.
81 Ulbrich, P., & Huber, J. (1981, August). Observing parental violence: Distribution and effects. Journal
of Marriage and the Family, 623-631.
82 Straus, M.A., Gelles, R.J., & Steinmetz, S.K. (1980). Behind closed doors: Violence in the American
family. Garden City, NY: Anchor.
And, for adult offenders on probation, parent-to-parent violence, parent to child
violence, and children's witnessing of violence were strongly associated with
adult violent offenses.83 There is data that suggests that perpetrators of dating
violence have histories of observing and/or experiencing abuse in their families.
And, in a recent study, men who were physically or sexually abused as children
or who witnessed their mothers being abused were more likely to father a child
with a teen mother; compared with men reporting no abuse, the risk of
involvement in teen pregnancy increased by 140 percent for men who witnessed
domestic violence while growing up.84
Effective Interventions
The types of interventions and the environments in which they are offered vary
according to the needs of the child, the resources and focus of the service
providers, and the goal or objective of the intervention. Shelter or residential
programs for child observers address the short term and long term effects of
domestic violence on children while also addressing transitional issues related to
living in an unfamiliar environment. Outreach programs aimed at offering
services to child observers through community and school programs may focus
on unique needs of children who continue to live in abusive homes.
83 Koski, P.R. (1986). Parent-parent versus parent-child violence for adult offenders. Free Inquiry in
Creative Sociology, 14 (1), 51-55.
84 Anda, Robert F., Felitti, Vincent J., Chapman, Daniel P., Croft, Janet B., Williamson, David F., Santelli,
John, Dietz, Patrici M., Marks, James S. "Abused Boys, Battered Mothers, and Male Involvement in Teen
Pregnancy". Pediatrics, Vo. 107, No. 2 (February 2001).
Other children may need short-term psychological or mental health interventions
to deal with severe traumatization or special needs.
According to the American Bar Association, programs for child observers should
include the following:
1) describing and defining domestic violence,
2) helping children understand that they did not cause the violence,
3) enabling children to grieve the losses resulting from the violence,
4) teaching them empowerment strategies for preserving their safety,
and
5) showing them nonviolent methods for resolving their own conflicts.
It is important that interventions be child-focused and tailored to meet the needs
of child observers specifically. The needs of the child observers should
supersede the needs of the agency (e.g. a child may need to receive services at
the domestic violence program rather than in school to provide confidentiality
and safety).
Interventions should be age, gender and culturally appropriate and possibly
specific; group exercises should be designed to accommodate a variety of
learning styles and include accommodations for persons with physical, cognitive,
psychological and/or emotional disabilities. Additionally, certain themes may be
more appropriately stressed in certain groups according to gender (e.g. a group
exercise may be designed to bolster self-esteem and address depression in
young girls while incorporating materials for boys to enhance their empathy and
encourage healthy expressions of anger). Also, certain activities may be
designed to incorporate culturally diverse images, themes, customs and beliefs
(e.g. group exercises may be designed to examine the ways in which "families"
are defined in different cultures and to identify resources specific to certain
communities).
􀂙􉤠 Describe what domestic violence is: children should be able to talk about
their experiences with violence and the types abuse that occur in the context
of domestic violence; this includes a discussion about feelings, including
discussions about "blame" versus "responsibility" and "accountability."
􀂙􉤠 Help children understand that they did not cause the violence: children often
blame themselves for either causing the abuse or at least not being able to
stop it; they need to be taught that they are responsible for their own
feelings, thoughts and actions…not those of another.
􀂙􉤠 Enable them to grieve the losses resulting from such violence: depending on
the types of services being offered as well as the location in which children
receive services, various "losses" may be experienced by children including
loss of home, loss of neighborhood, loss of school and neighborhood friends,
loss of pets, loss of personal items, loss of battering parent, loss of dream of
"perfect family", loss of privacy, loss of battering parent's family
(grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.) Often, adult victims and children
are required to spend all of their time and emotional energy on escaping the
violence and maintaining their physical safety and well-being; because of this,
many children have not had an opportunity to talk about their feelings of
sadness and disappointment - programs should provide a safe place for
children to begin the grieving process.
􀂙􉤠 Teach them empowerment strategies for preserving their safety: safety
planning should be a key component of any intervention and incorporated
into every educational lesson plan or counseling session. Safety plans should
consider whether children continue to live with the abuser, whether the
children's visitation with the batterer is supervised and the resources that are
available to them in utilizing a safety plan (e.g. does child have a telephone
to call for help?). Additionally, children's safety plans should complement the
battered parents' safety plans; otherwise, children's safety plans may be
ineffective and may conflict with the adult victims' plans (e.g. adult victim's
safety plan includes getting the children out of the house while children's
safety plans include hiding in the bedroom). Providing physical and
emotional safety for child observers is a critical "first step" because children
cannot focus on feelings and conflict resolution methods while fearing for
their lives and the lives of their family members.
􀂙􉤠 Show them nonviolent methods of resolving their own conflicts: some
children will use violence as their only means of resolving conflict because
they have learned no other method. Additionally, some children avoid
interaction altogether, withdrawing in an effort to avoid conflict totally.
Children should be taught productive methods of compromise and negotiation
and encouraged to utilize healthy coping methods such as the use of
drawing, writing, singing, physical activity, etc.
RESOURCES
For additional information about domestic violence, it is recommended that you
utilize the following resources:
The American Bar Association
www.abanet.org/domviol/home.html
The Family Violence Prevention Fund
www.fvpf.org
The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
www.ncadv.org
The National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges
www.ncjfcj.unr.edu
The Office of Justice Programs
www.ojp.usdoj.gov/vawo/
US Department of Justice: Bureau of Justice Statistics
www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/
Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention
www.ojjdp.usdoj.gov
The North Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence
www.nccadv.org
The North Carolina Council for Women and Domestic Violence
Commission
www.doa.state.nc.us/cfw/cfw.htm
Texas Council on Family Violence: (512) 794-1133
Pennsylvania Coalition Against Domestic Violence (800) 932-4632
National Resource Center on Domestic Violence (800) 537-2238