Absurdist Poetry That Even Vacuum Cleaners Enjoy

Archive for the ‘Garland Middleton’ Category

Cannibalism, shnannibalism!
I’d rather eat some brownies
stuffed with weed,
or hey fuck it! Mushrooms!
Then I’ll march down some hip trails
and look at the clouds turning
into paintings and out of reality I’ll go!
Yes, and when the nausea kicks in
and I think of Hannibal the real Cannibal
I’ll let out some ridiculous scream and laugh
and start down some crazy spiral of tears
swollen eyes and basic hysterics.
I’ll stand in the middle of some parking lot
and watch a car wait for me to move,
and I’ll feel really brave, like I’m stopping this car
from making any progress. Any progress at all! Yeah!
Until the person gets out of their car
and shouts at me to move or they’ll have to hit me!
And I’ll just run away like some deer who only eats grass,
praying that no one will eat my brains!

when i wake up
i see spider monkeys wrestling on my ceiling
with bunches of golden hay in their furry hands.
as they pull themselves together
and stop tearing apart at the yellow
curly dry grass
they begin to weave webs
and add old trojan wrappers
and movie ticket stubs
and leftover sushi
to their tangled mess.
as i look closer at these mad monkeys
i make out chunks of golden greek curls,
soft and lifeless.
and that becomes my only proof
that you were ever real,
that i had a good night,
that i had a delicious meal.