Aphrodisiac sheets and magnetic tea towels on display at wacky British Invention Show

Their inventions ranged from blindingly brilliant to delightfully bonkers.Each of them had poured countless hours into designing and creating those startlingly simple devices that make everyone else wonder why it has never been thought of before.

Now - with all eyes upon their inventions - they were ready to share their genius with the world. Well, that was the theory at least.

But yesterday at the British Invention Show, you had to wonder if some of the exhibitors had devised solutions to problems that didn't exist. Or whether so many creative minds and such boundless imagination might have come up with ideas that us ordinary dullards were unable to appreciate.

Paul Harris is perplexed by the Diet Tile while Tatiana Viladomat Gracia wraps up in Aphrodisiac Sheets

Among the many items no household
should be without are a pomegranate deseeder, a comb for de-fluffing
your dustpan brush, a laptop shield to protect the busy executive's
sperm count, and child-friendly, pizza-flavoured carrots.

The Alexandra Palace exhibition, which runs until tomorrow, features things of wonder from inventors across the globe ('British' refers to the show, not exclusively to the home-grown products). Some are clearly worthy; others surely herald a return to the drawing board.

But does that deter all those brilliant minds from persevering? Of course it doesn't. And the one thing that unites them is the founding principle that drives every successful inventor - it sounds crazy, but it might just work....

Aphrodisiac sheets:What? Bed sheets claimed to revolutionise romance.Why? Started as an inventor's joke - but provoked huge interest and considerable demand for production.How? Material is impregnated with Viagra that is absorbed into your body.Blurb: Adds passion and nanotechnology to your love life. Price to be fixedInventor: Leitat Technologies / Stereonoise Ltd, Spain.

Bra Angel:What? Instant and permanent repair for bras that split and expose the underwire.Why? Ask any woman who's ever worn a bra with the wire sticking out, or heard her precious lingerie clanking around in the tumble-drier.How? Nylon sheath slips over exposed section of wire and holds it in place with tiny barbs.Blurb: 'Fits in seconds... Suitable for every brand and colour of underwire bra.' £1.99 a pair.Inventor: Scott Dutton, 37, from Barry, South Wales.

This recreational submersible can dive 1,000ft. Yours for £400,000....

Bathomatic:What? Fills bath by remote control to variable depth, with bubble bath options, and maintains temperature.Why?
So you can run a bath while you're driving home from your iPhone. Or
use it in care homes to run multiple baths at precisely the right
temperature.How? Microprocessor controlled technology, motors and heating.Blurb: An environmentally friendly bathing solution at the touch of a button. From £4,600.Inventor: Freddy Vaslilev, 40, from Bulgaria.

Throw-Me tea towel:What? Magnetic towel that stays put in the kitchen.Why? Because they're always so difficult to hang up tidily.How? Small but powerful non-rusting magnet grips metal surfaces such as fridge, cooker.Blurb: Throw it at the dishwasher and watch it stick. £2.Inventor: Pep Torres, 37, from Barcelona.

The 'Throw-me magnetic tea-towel' lives up to its name and costs just £2

Slik Stik:What? Lightweight folding safety walking stick.Why? Convenience and protection for elderly or disabled.How? Built in LED 'headlight', alarm, flashing lights - and magnet to retrieve dropped keys etc.Blurb: See and be seen when crossing the road in the dark. £40.Inventor: Denise Anstey, 45.

Loominate: What? Self-lighting, automatic pull-cord attachment for bathroom and toilet.Why? Prevents glaring main light and noisy fan waking others when caught short at night.How? Built-in infra-red motion sensor switches it on when you go into the room. Runs from triple-A batteries and LED lights.Blurb: 'No more reaching in the dark.... Great for all ages. £14.99 each.Inventor: Steve Capon, 41, from Brighton.

Steve Capon and the Loominate that will guide you to the toilet in the night

Diet Tile:What? Underfloor alarm system for hungry slimmers.Why? Dieting aid for those with low will-power.How? Sensors pick up movement around fridge/larder and trigger warning that screams: 'Step Away... Put down the cream cake'.Blurb: Can also be used as intruder alarm to send text message to householder. Price to be fixed.Inventor: Stereonoise Ltd, Spain.

Subeo Gemini:What: Fun-size submarine capable of diving to 1,000ft.Why? Recreational submersible for rich yacht owners or scientific research.How? Battery operated motor propels two people underwater for about eight hours.Blurb: '71 per cent of the Earth's surface is about to become accessible'. £400,000.Inventor: Robert Leeds, 60, from Colchester.