Now that you are all warmed up on all that extra Halloween candy it’s time to kick your gluttony into high gear. EAT!

Grow that pumpkin!

Fat folks make so much food at Thanksgiving, it’s almost divine. Do we really need so many different dishes—three vegetables, four pies, rolls, potatoes, stuffing, turkey, ham, alcohol etc.? The answer is a big fat resounding YES! Zealots like MeMe Roth may prefer a more manageable meal, with fewer dishes—more like an enhanced “normal” meal. Which do you prefer? Would you rather eat more spartanly or go for the full monty of food glorious FOOD?

Eat early! Eat often!

Start your gormandizing on Thanksgiving Eve or sooner. Snacks and chips are dips are always a good option and don’t skip breakfast! Thanksgiving pre eating is like the famous Grazenhiemer Technique. Just keep eating and drinking. Beer is great with all the football games but consider some Bailey’s Irish Creme especially if you are watching the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame. You may want to even have a mock tailgate party.

Get a really big fucking turkey!

Proud FA checking last year’s Birdzilla

Even if you can’t devour the bird in one sitting it does not mean you should not get a mega gobbler to gobble. If you are a true glutton you will be hungry an hour after the main meal and desert. You’ll want some turkey sandwiches with mayo or gravy or both and some extra pie. If you can’t handle some Bailey’s Irish Creme try some Irish Coffee.

Fat O’Bastard’s Irish Coffee

Ingreedients

1 (5 fluid ounce) jigger Irish cream liqueur

1 (5 fluid ounce) jigger Irish whiskey

2 cups hot brewed coffee

6 tablespoons whipped cream

1 dash ground nutmeg

Directions

In a big goddamn coffee mug, combine Irish cream and Irish whiskey. Fill mug with coffee. Top with a dab of whipped cream and a dash of nutmeg

Pies!

Pecan, pumpkin, chocolate, mince meat or cheese pie are all good choices and don’t skimp on the whipped cream.

Loosen that belt rookie, there’s a lot more pie to pack away!

EAT! This is your host Fat Bastard wishing all a Happy Thanksgiving!

WARNING from Liberty Medical and Wilford Brimley!

This Thanksgivingyou are going to be kicking your power eating into overdrive so check your damn blood sugar and check it often! There’s no reason not to.

>While it is true that hyper gluttony and super obesity is not for everyone,

(I wish those crazy “womyn like that dog faced gremlin Kate Harding” in the old wrong fat acceptance movement could figure that one out.) but for the majority of fatlings it is actually good for their health. Anti-obesity crusaders like the uber hot MeMe Roth may point to things like obesity and sleep apnea and complain that these conditions are unhealthy. Left untreated they are unhealthy but when treated they are actually good for you.

Let’s take diabesity aka type 2 diabetes for example. Even thinlings have fluctuations in their blood glucose levels but if those fatlings who are fortunate enough to have diabesity check their blood sugar levels and check them often as fellow fatling

Wilford Brimley cautions that we can actually have more stable blood sugar than healthy thinlings. Instead of relying on a temperamental pancreas all the resourceful fatling does is check and inject insulin. Using your free meter and lancets the diabetic can adjust his blood sugar to accommodate his preferred level of gluttony. Let’s see a lowly pancreas do that! Hyper gluttons like Doctor Gerald “Teddy” Bear can tweak their insulin levels to make any feeding frenzy a most enjoyable experience. I addition to stress free gormandizing, eating more gives the body more essential nutrients.

Obesity related heart disease is another myth perpetrated by the anti obesity mob. As fatlings our hearts work much harder than the average thinling because our hearts need to pump oxygen rich blood to all of our extra tissues.

Gluttons are less likely to suffer from depression says British study. Fat people really are jolly! Look at Santa Claus that jolly old elf!

Gluttony is Good for Youby Zoe Williams

Cliches only turn into cliches because they’re true. Otherwise, they just become a weird thing that someone in a bank once said to you. So I’m assuming that this will cheer you up, because I’m assuming that, at precisely this time of year, you’re probably quite fat. Or maybe just fat for you. No, no, don’t go and change – you’ll be fine going out looking like that …

Scientists in Bristol have discovered that fat people are more cheerful than their thin peers. I thought this was just a revivification of the ancient (well … maybe 25-year-old) wisdom that says you shouldn’t go on a totally fat-free diet because your brain needs its fat surround to keep from crashing against your skull. That makes you depressed, apparently. But you don’t have to be obese to maintain this fatty covering; you just have to not be anorexic. Read the rest of the storyhere

While the elite athlete and object of my fat boy lust like MeMe Roth may spend 30 minutes working her heart on a treadmill the heart of a fatling works that hard or harder 24/7. Every moment is a work out for us.

Many of us have C-PAP machines. For those of you who don’t know, A C-PAP machine helps us fatlings breath when we are sleeping so that we don’t die in our sleep from sleep apnea which most of us have and we get a more restful sleep because our lungs don’t have to works so hard.

The fat haters like to bring up mobility issues. Thinlings and fat haters have the mobility issues. I, Fat Bastard would like to challenge MeMe Roth to a race. She can run and beat the hell out of her joints while I will cruise is my Jazzy Power chair. I will leave MeMe in the dust but I, Fat Bastard would be happy to let her ride sitting on my lap (your chariot awaits my lady) and maybe then she will have a better appreciation of how much better it is to be fat and gluttons than lean and spartan-like.

>As may many readers know, Proud FA is my best friend and confidant but lately Proud FA is not happy with me. He feels that I am selling out to the likes of MeMe Roth. He bases this on my recent weight loss (Even though it was induced by medical blunders) and my article titled There are More Important Things Than Fat Acceptance. When you have a series of near death experiences it sort of puts things into perspective.

Folks I have not sold out! I am still a big fat greedy and slothful glutton although I am no as fat and a bit less gluttonous because I am getting laid more. Both Proud FA and I agreed that the new fat acceptance movement would not be anti-diet. I am still slowly losing weight. Sue me! Unfortunately I am an apple shape and “Dr” Gerald “Teddy” Bear the leading voice on super morbid obesity will tell you apples are at greater risks for health complications due to obesity than pears. I hope that “Dr” Bear and I can come up with some BMI guidelines for apples.

Above is an apple shaped body.

Below is a pear shaped body.

With the help of CG Brady I have turned my food lust into less of a hedonistic pursuit of my porcine pleasures into more of an epicurian endeavor. I think it has been a good trade off. Even if I get skinny (Like that is going to happen) I would still be the legitimate leader of the New Fat Acceptance Movement. Kate Harding is not a major fatling, she’s just ugly.

Proud FA, we have been friends for too long for you to diss me like this. I will always be Fat Bastard. I will always be that big fat rolly-poly guy that has been like a brother to you. I will always be Ralph Kramden to your Ed Norton.

Yes, there are things that are more important than fat acceptance. The health of Americans is one of them. While it is true that we fatlings end up getting the shittiest end of the stick when it come to health care, thinlings also get a stick with a very shitty end. While we fatlings are treated like turds in the corporate medical swimming pool; the thinlings are often the turds in the corporate medical urinal.

Please come back PFA. The movement needs you. We can do it without you but it would be easier with you.

One of my heroes, Jackie Gleason always said, “It pays to buy the best.” After much review it is our considered opinion that Pride Mobility Products make makes the finest power chair in the world. This is not a slight to companies like Hoveround who also make fine power chairs but as far as we know the Jazzy chairs are indeed the Cadillac of power chairs. They currently offer 15

These bad boys are built to last. Most will go 11 miles on one charge with a blazing top speed of 4.25 MPH! Pride Mobility also host and online community so that fatlings can socialize with other fatlings in the comfort of their own home. http://ownersclub.pridemobility.com/home

Another good choice for power chairs is the Hoveround. While Hoveround chairs maximum capacity is only 450 pounds their strong point is speed, agility and range. The Teknique® GT is the Ferarri of power chairs. This rocket ship has a range of twenty mile and will propel the average fatling at speeds up to a blistering 7 MPH. At these velocities you will always be the first on to the buffet table. When other chairs conk out your Teknique® GT will out-distance and outrun nearly every chair on the market.

CHECK YOUR BLOOD SUGAR AND CHECK IT OFTEN!There’s no reason not to!

America’s Favorite Fatling and Type 2 diabetic Wilfred Brimley is also the spokesman for another great fatling enabling company, Liberty Medical. For over twenty years Liberty Medical has been providing free diabetic supplies delivered directly to your home for years now. Liberty Medical knows that our slothful life styles are important to us and they enable us to stay in the compfort of our own home as they deliver all the diabetic supplies we need. Liberty makes ordering a breeze because they even do the paper work for you. NO NO NO they don’t come over and help you wipe your butt but they do fill out all the claim forms for y0u! www.LibertyMedical.com

You may even qualify for aFREEmeter!

AMPLE STUFF http://www.amplestuff.com/A true pioneer in offering products for enabling us fat people continue our hedonistic lifestyles is Ample Stuff. For those of you who are new to fat acceptance Ample Stuff was founded by the founder of NAAFA and father of fat acceptance Bill Fabrey. Ample Stuff offers a cornicopia of products for fatlings. Ample Stuff offers unique and helpful products that enables us fatlings live the life of Riley. In September of 2008 Bigger Fatter Blog gave a long overdue salute to Bill Fabrey owner and CEO of Ample Stuff. http://biggerfatterblog.blogspot.com/2008/09/fat-acceptances-unsung-hero.html

Bill Fabrey was the first to introduce fatlings to the now famous ButtWand™ . The Butt Wand enables fatlings to grow fatter without worrying about how they were going to wipe their ever widening butts. The Butt Wand is a simple but ingenious way for even the fattest fatling to wipe.ButtWand™ when you can no longer reach back there

If you don’t have sleep apnea it simply means you are not fat enough so EAT! more. C-PAP machines are wonderful. They virtually do all the breathing for you. CPAP Wholesale has everything a fatling needs for treating sleep apnea. http://www.cpapwholesale.com/CPAP Wholesale offers a complete line of CPAP and APAP machines, masks, tubing, filters, and humidifiers from top manufacturers like Devilbiss, Invacare, Fisher&Paykel, Resprionics, ResMed and Puritan Bennett.

The MONSTER truck of power chairs!

If it’s high tech, raw power and high end performance you want look at what those whiz kids at 21st Century Scientific Inc. have been up to.

If it’s warp speed you want nothing beats the Bounder. The Bounder is not for the faint at heart. This bad boy will hit speed close to an unheard of 12 MPH. These chairs will burn rubber but are not designed for hauling blubber. These chairs also have an incredible 40 mile range. BUT.. here is the caveat. These chairs are built for speed not payload.

Bounder offers their mighty Bariatric Bounder. This has to be the fat friendliest chair on the planet. When I read the specs on the Bariatirc Bounder and saw this beauty, my eyes welled with tears and my heart skipped a beat. The Bariatric Bounder has a forty eight inch wide seat making this amazing piece of engineering worthy of an award.

MOOOOOOOve over and give it up for the Bariatric Bounder! This behemoth is wider than some passenger cars! This love seat on wheels can haul a family of four thinlings or one super sized fatling. This road hog will strike fear in thinlings and envy in all fatlings. This is the Hummer of power chairs. Take this baby to Wal-Mart and be the King or Queen of every aisle. Can you say aisle blocker? Check out this bad boy at http://www.wheelchairs.com/

It will be years before this SSBBW will outgrow the venerable Bariatric Bounder and by then Bounder will no doubt keeps pace and offer a chair that will carry a large hippo. That is of course if she doesn’t meet Proud FA at the next NAAFA convention and gets and invite to the pig pen. Proud FA needs a drool cup right now. That’s a Sir Mix A Lot butt!

I know that there are major problems with our health care system but when it comes to accommodating the needs of us Fatlings the medical system get a B+ from Bigger Fatter Blog.