Probably fearing the outcome of a routine piss test, a Navy sailor allegedly tried to destroy his urine samples, and now faces charges for attempting to set fire to bottles of pee, which, well, aren't that flammable.

The Department of Defense announced a two-day pause to court-martial and administrative separation proceedings involving the wrongful use of controlled substances, due to worries over the integrity of the lab tests involved — a move that could also cast a pall over past drug-related dismissals, Military Times reports.

A Camp Pendleton Marine court-martialed for using and distributing illegal substances to his fellow Marines had, among many other things, a fake penis in his possession — ostensibly used to defeat Corps urinalysis tests — when he was stopped and searched by military police last year, according to court documents released last week.

A Navy sailor who works at Naval Air Station Oceana in Virginia Beach, Va. is under investigation for a "suspicious" fire that destroyed up to 900 urinalysis samples and records, The Virginian-Pilot reports.