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There's no such thing in France. That comes with Vegetarianism and all that health and safety british malarkey.
Nothin' better than a good old slice of cyrrhosis-ed goose or duck liver to cure whatever itch you have. Ah, and a bucketful of liquor-drown Ortolans with that please!

:)
If you knew how little a cyanide employee is paid, you guys may become a bit more forgiving ;)

I kid, of course. I love the game and do appreciate all their hard work! It's brought Blood Bowl to the masses and that's a beautiful thing. I just wish we could patch it ourselves sometimes.

EDIT: Forgot to thank everyone for the appreciation of my little fiction. I'll be continuing the story as time permits. I was just inspired by my truly catastrophic season last month and had to get it out there.

[So Darkweeble has inspired me to start my own story properly, hopefully we can get division six to go down in history. Nowhere near as good as his of course, but I enjoyed writing it.]

Beastmen were not often seen on the coaching staff of any team, never mind Halflings. Homicidal maniacs did their best work on the pitch, not off it. When Ra’kish signed up as coach of the Potholers (a lost group of caving enthusiasts from the Moot) the oddity of the match-up brought questions from all sides. Obviously the Potholers had accepted at once- coaches with the “special skills” necessary to try their hand at leading a team of three-feet-high kleptomaniac overeaters were somewhat thin on the ground- but Ra’kish’s motives remained inscrutable. When asked, he merely responded with a wry bleat followed by a swift kick to the testicles.

A season of abject mediocrity then unfolded with an air of absolute inevitability. Ra'kish coached them come match day an air of detachment, and largely left the Potholers to it between times. The draw and two losses did not seem to dampen the spirits of the beastman. Indeed, he greeted every death, maiming and impalement with an air of grim amusement more fitting for a member of the crowd than the staff. Of course Halfling coaching attracted sadists, but was the clipboard with a list being slowly ticked off really just the sign of your common-or-garden madman?

The present day

Halfred Carrott, the captain of the Potholers, enters his coach’s office. The walls are bedecked with the classic decoration of the skinned hides of their dead foes (unfortunately largely Snotling based, and not exactly numerous). In the centre, Ra’kish sits at a large desk. His clipboard lies on it. All the entries seem to have been ticked.

“You wanted to see me boss?”

“Yesh*. It’sh time for me to move on.”

Carrott feels a peculiar mixture of relief, fear and hunger. With a little luck the Potholers would be able to make a return to the failed human coaches they were used to, or even a Halfling who properly understood the dietary demands of being a professional athlete. Still, better go through the traditional forms.

“Sorry to hear that boss. May your future be famine-free and well-seasoned. Mind if I ask why?”

“The price hash been paid, Carrott. The bargain hash been fulfilled, and now the time ish come.”

The Gor stands up and strides out of the room. Outside, a pair of werewolves are waiting. Each shakes a paw with Ra’kish and they leave together, slipping in to the night.

Behind them, a cowering Halfling makes a very quick and rather wise career reassessment.

*Beastmen’s tusks make the letter “s” rather difficult to say. Anyone wishing to point out that I shamelessly ripped this off from Terry Pratchett should feel free to do so.

Ok, we appear to have a no-show from Axler, so we need a minor reshuffle. As mentioned last season, i'm going to use restarting or rebooting players to fill in when this happens, so if one of the 3 rebooters would like to offer their services (by posting in here - first come first served) and apply tonight to join div 4, they can. I won't lie to you, it will be tough, but you've got a head start up the divisions - I'll leave you to decide if you want to face the higher-level teams....

That means Kajo, if you're there, you can fill in the vacant slot from the rebooting player, probably from division 6. If you can get your application in tonight, everyone can get going, if I can't get hold of you, we'll probably put in a filler team, I want everyone playing tonight.....

Hey guys. By March I should have enough time to relaunch operation Zoraster tries to figure out how to play humans so I’ll be restoring myself to the sheet in a bit. Quick question; is there an official rule on returning with old teams? My humans only got one season in so it is no big deal either way but I’d rather avoid having to battle the Cyanide interface to name a new squad of players needlessly :)