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5.17.2010

*Have you ever read Design Mom's birth stories? Well, since I have baby fever, I have been reading them quite often. This one however, really struck my heart and I had to share with you. Trust me, you will want to read the full story!*

Just before our one-year wedding anniversary, my husband Steve and I moved to Chicago where my husband would attend Medical School. Not long after moving, we excitedly phoned home to our parents to relate the news: “We’re going to have a baby!” Through months of anticipation, every preparation was made in for our baby’s arrival. Dresses were hung in the closet, blankets were carefully embroidered, and quilts were pieced. Little onesies and socks were folded neatly and placed in the dresser. The dresser was refinished, the cradle was readied, the room was painted. Most importantly, we had worked to ready our hearts by cultivating feelings of love and harmony in our home.

However, after 8 months of pregnancy, I stopped feeling my baby’s movements. We were shocked to learn that even before being born, our baby girl (whom we named Eliza) had died.

When Eliza stopped living, I felt like a large part of me died with her. I had many questions — Why did I lose my child if I had been living a life that I believed made me capable of being a caring mother? Why did this turn out so differently than I envisioned? In times of sorrow, I found hope in this scripture: “Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend.”The loss of our beautiful baby taught me many lessons. As I internalized the loving truth that our Father in Heaven sent His Son to die for us, I learned the depth of a parent’s love. In the years that followed the death and birth of our daughter, Steve and I grew stronger together as a couple. We continued on, but it was difficult — there were still a lot of tender moments when I yearned to hold and teach my lost baby.

Our joy was immeasurable when, a few years later, we finally welcomed our precious newborn daughter Ella Jayne into our family. The first night after giving birth, I tried to rest, but I couldn’t sleep. I kept my baby with me. The nurses couldn’t believe that I had not utilized any of the pain medications offered for post-delivery pains. But I did not feel any pain, just pure joy! I counted her fingers and toes. I fed her. Steve and I held her, talked to her and rocked her. I was so grateful to hear her cries. I felt profoundly the need to protect her, love her and teach her. I continue to feel this! Ella is now 9 years old — and she lights up our lives! Being a mother is truly a gift of the greatest proportions. READ MORE>>

Hope each of you had a wonderful weekend and are enjoying life each day as it comes:) Stay tuned for a lovely giveaway tomorrow, and a new featured blogger next Monday!

What a sad but beautiful story, thank you for sharing! Oh and thank you SO MUCH for the sweet comment you left on my blog, it really meant a lot to me! I look forward to reading more of your blog! Have a great week!

Anna, thank you so much for sharing this. Birth stories are so empowering. And I think many women can relate to losing a child and find an instant bond with each other. Thank you so much. Her blog is fantastic!!!! Yet another great and talent mama. Gosh, there are a lot of those out there. ;-)