So I hear you’re bored.

That's okay. Some of history's greatest heroes were once bored, and they went on to do great things. You? Probably not so much. You might be able to score a coffee from Starbucks or something if you can get out of bed before they close. In the meantime, why not read some of these sweet entertainment reviews? Maybe you'll find something to help you fight back against the boredom. Maybe you'll find coffee. Probably not coffee. But maybe.

I am apologizing in advance. My mind is still frazzled from working retail all weekend so this may make significantly more sense to me than it does to you. My wife is a hardcore Twihard Twighlight fangirl. The kind that writes her own fanfiction. As such I have been forced to view a great deal of Robert Pattinson’s work. It’s amazing what a married man will do in exchange for bedroom pleasantries. In fact, on midnight of the day Minecraft officially released I found myself in a movie theater full of giggling teenage girls and a surprisingly large group of the most cowed men you have ever had the misfortune to see. I have now seen every Twilight movie once and I hate them all with a deep-seated passion. Kristen Stewart deserves every derogatory comment hurled her way, but seeing Robert Pattinson’s character evolve through the movies I began to realize something. He’s actually a very talented actor.

I’m currently re-watching all of the Harry Potter films in preparation for finally watching Deathly Hallows and today I watched Goblet of Fire. Cedric is by no means an evocative character, but he does have the misfortune of being from the other house. Now, Pattinson does not have many lines in Harry Potter and he’s a bit of a non-entity, but like Arnold he has a tendency toward redundancy. Though don’t confuse him with the governor. In the first few Twilight movies he is still shy little Cedric, still adjusting to his new sparkling body. He can only come out of this shell once he has fallen in love with someone more emotionless and socially awkward than himself. Enter Kristen Stewart. After two films worthy of the ShiKahr Film Festival, Pattinson’s skills began to emerge. His on-screen emotion is at its most powerful when, ironically, he is being overprotective of his emotionless girlfriend. Finally in the most recent bastardization of the vampire lore in Breaking Dawn Pattinson starts to show true depth. His internal struggle between pure, unadulterated lust and deep-seated overprotective nature actual lends some emotion and, gasp! facial expression. The fact that he can make Edward a remotely likeable character for anyone lacking sufficient estrogen levels speaks volumes.

I may be retarded but at least I wasn't killed by a rat!

I can’t help but wonder if he might emerge into the realm of serious acting like a certain teen heart-throb from my formative years. There was a time when I hated Leonardo DiCaprio with unbridled passion. The very mention of his name in a billing would discredit a film and doom it to my “never screened” list. How could I think anything less when presented with Titanic and Romeo+Juliet? But then by the insistence of my roommate I saw Gangs of New York. This is by no means DiCaprio’s greatest achievement, but it gave me reason to believe there may be more to him then good looks. Then along came Catch Me if You Can and The Aviator. Suddenly I was amazed by DiCaprio’s depth and presence. Over the past eight years or so I have come to respect him as one of if not the greatest actor of his generation. Sure, he has a significant slant towards period pieces but when you made your millions of dollars at an age young enough to have a long career to follow and old enough to have the wisdom not to spend it on cocaine and girls who don’t wear panties when getting out of limos you pretty much have the free reign to do whatever the hell you want.

Is Robert Pattinson the next DiCaprio? It’s fair to say he has a steeper hill to climb. At age 19 Pattinson was quietly comfortable in Daniel Radcliffe’s shadow. When DiCaprio was just 19 he was going toe to toe with Johnny Depp in What’s Eating Gilbert Grape. In all honesty I don’t see the fabulous vampire attaining the heights reached by the aviator, but I do think he will be the one Twilight star whose name still on the public’s lips in 10 years. I can’t wait for this whole damn saga to end so we can see what else he can do. Which reminds me, I can’t tell you how far my heart sank when the words Part 1 popped up in the Breaking Dawn opening credits. Here I thought my long dark night was over.

6 Responses

The Twilight movies are hysterical to watch if you watch them with commentary from RiffTrax.com (aka Mystery Science Theater people), but I have yet to notice Robert Pattison’s acting get any better. However, I haven’t seen Breaking Dawn yet, so I will withhold judgment until I do.

I do agree completely about Leonardo DiCaprio. I thought all the girls my age were ridiculous when they swooned over him after Titanic, etc. But after Catch Me If You Can and The Departed, I was amazed to find he’s actually an awesome actor.

Aw man. RiffTrax did them? I might actually plunk down some money for that next time I have a group of friends over for drinks. Now I just have to find some friends willing to come to my house and bring booze…

So it turns out Twihard is not the cheery tongue in cheek title I thought it was. My wife informed me it is actually a derogatory term used to describe the more psychotic Twilight fans who are inclined to stalk the actors and do weird things with posters in their bedrooms. My mistake.