Next Generation of Facebook will Charge Fees

The next generation of Facebook has been developed by none other than LaCucarcha native, Cash Carson. The only mention we could find of Carson in our archives was a quote by head football coach Bryant referring to him as a “total disgrace to the community.” Carson had the ideal hands, speed and agility of a wide receiver, but chose to spend his time playing video games, refusing to try out for the football team. His humiliated family moved to Texarkana two years ago when his younger brother also announced he had no plans to play sports.

The stain on the family’s reputation may now be lifted as Carson is poised to become the rising star who invented a way to monetize social media into an income generating business. By incorporating an enhanced version of the X-Box 360 Kinect video camera, which records full motion movement of a gamer into the Facebook application, users will now be able to enter the virtual hallowed halls of high school and hang out with old classmates. Facebook has already hired an army of retired teachers and principals to staff the site.