I love the whole clashing-prints trend going on right now. I'm too scared to try it, but I love it.

When you look closely, the clashing prints that work best aren't really clashing at all--they've got at least one color in common to help unite the two patterns. So while it may seem like a rebellion against matching (one of today's greatest sociopolitical lightning rods), deep down, it's actually a flamboyantly disguised celebration of matching.

I'm a little too concerned with matching. While I don't like blatantly color-coordinating my outfits, I have been known to match my shoes to my eyeshadow.

And if I'm wearing a nail polish color that I believe to be noticeably incompatible with the outfit I've chosen for the day, I may even do a quick removal before I leave the apartment.

So when I heard about China Glaze's new app that tells you which of their Nail Lacquers matches virtually anything, I peed my pants a little. Then I changed my underwear and started taking pictures of everything.

My shoes!

My chambray shirt!

Rufus!

But wait. If you really want your nails to ALWAYS match, you have to find colors that match PERMANENT PARTS OF YOU, right?

My hair!

My boobs!

My mole!

Annie's eyes!

You can start matching whatever your sick little minds can think of to China Glaze nail polish with the free app. And of course, I want you to post your best pairings in the comments. Do I even have to ask?