The law firm of DLA, Watson, Siri & Wal-Mart

Welcome to the global law firm of DLA, Watson, Siri & Wal-Mart. The year is 2065. I am Stevie, a Mark 3 Siri assistant. It is my task to acquaint you with the history and functioning of the firm.

Many things have changed in the legal industry since the end of the first decade of 2000. As a law firm this has forced us to review all aspects of our personnel, our processes and our technology. We practice in all areas of law around the world.

I detect that you have your own personal iSlate from Apple. Your iSlate has now been registered with our internal systems and Jordan 7188, a Mark 7 personal assistant, has been assigned to you.

Jordan will take care of encrypting your iSlate, installing the CoP and upgrading the virus and intrusion detection software to firm acceptable levels. All the forms, firm policies and other information can be accessed from your personal Apple iSlate. Jordan 7188 can answer all your specific questions.

Because of our advanced virtualized desktop, the firm has exited the hardware procurement and management business and our lawyers provide their own computer equipment. You may choose any hardware and operating system, but the majority of our users choose from Chrome Windows 20 or OS XX “Sabertooth Cheshire.” Truly, only a third of our lawyers bother to work in our physical offices, preferring instead to work from their homes.

The Firm’s robust and custom developed Community of Practice has replaced the traditional office metaphor and productivity gains from the lack of commuting alone posted a 7% gain to the bottom line of the firm. This same CoP keeps world-wide teams of lawyers in touch with their clients 24x7. You will be able to collaborate with your fellow lawyers and specialists with unprecedented ease.

The firm’s financial Watson routinely analyzes brontobytes of accounting records and updates the alternative fee arrangement templates. Those specific client and matter templates will be communicated to you and your team through the Siri personal assistants.

We’re a smaller firm since the de-equitizing of 38% of our partners in 2019. Our clients want only the best in legal talent and our senior lawyers are the best at what they do. We did not start to eliminate support staff positions until our first Watson came online in 2014. It wasn’t until our third Watson AI came on line and Apple released the Siri Mark 4 upgrades that the firm chose to eliminate the bulk of paralegal and staff positions.

It should be noted that our law firm is the only law firm in the world currently running ten intercommunicating Watson AI units. This is made possible through the very deep financial pockets of our corporate owner/partner, Wal-Mart. As you recall, the Australian law firm of Slater & Gordon engaged in an initial public offering in 2007 and became the first ever firm to be listed in a stock exchange. This was followed by the enhancement of the Legal Services Act with the Alternative Business Structures (ABS) act which was approved in late 2011. The Jacoby & Meyers lawsuit against the various state bars and The American Bar Association was upheld in 2013 and the Rules of Professional Conduct were updated to allow for outside ownership of law firms in the United States. This is when our partnership with Wal-Mart began. At great expense, each Watson has been upgraded this year with the latest in learning, reasoning, problem-solving, perception, language-understanding and legal modules.

For those things that Watson and Siri cannot yet do, there are outsourced staff located in our administrative centers in Mechanicsburg, Pennsylvania and Pickerington, Ohio. Of course, using the latest in Amazon cloud technologies their physical location is largely irrelevant. Our advanced technology is such that there is no difference between our low cost administrative centers, our traditional big metroplex offices and our lawyers’ home offices. Information can be accessed anywhere at any time. While all major law firms have moved to the cloud, our firm was a forerunner in recognizing how to best adopt this technology.

You should know that we plan to sever our LPO arrangement with IntegreonZoom, which we began back in 2011 (just before Integreon was purchased by Legal Zoom). Our Chief Information and Knowledge Officer, working with senior firm management and practice chairs, have determined that work could be handled by a combination of the improved legal modules of Watson and the newest Siri Mark 7 personal assistants. In addition to being more cost effective than even our arrangement with IntegreonZoom, it’s ultimately more scalable than human resources. We will be able to bring the proper level of resources to bear on our eDiscovery and other legal matters, no matter how large they get.

As the new IP practice co-chair, you will be working with one of our long standing client, International Rescue. They have asked us about filing the latest set of patents for the newest inventions by Ray Hackenbacker. Our law factory practice group has used the latest in document assembly tools to compose all the documents. Siri has activated our advanced research Watson and it has searched the various patent databases and brought three potential issues to your attention, as well as our other senior IP lawyers working with the client. Jordan, your personal Siri, will provide you the additional details at your convenience.

WestNexis, our primary source for news and legal research has just emailed us renewal contracts with a 21% increase in rates. Since the merger they’ve been able to do outrageous things like this because of their market share. A Siri has been instructed to get a competitive bid from rising competitor GoogleBloom. As a practice co-chair, that information will be available for your review before the day is over. Our vendors need to understand how we’re changing and how they must change with us.

Jordan 7188 informs me that you have an urgent call from your oldest daughter. Something to do with a powder puff derby racer. The video call has been routed to cubical 45-38-1, which is your assigned office for your stay here today. Office lighting, temperature and virtual artwork has been undated with your stored preferences. Jordan 7188 has update your iSlate with a firm map and will guide you to your office.