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You’re wondering, ‘what the hell do I do with one that’s *different*?’ That’s why you’re really reading this.

So just how does it work with one that’s not quite the same as all the others you’ve encountered?

Quite well, actually, but, that tends to depends on the individuals involved.

Sex from person to person is different and that’s the same case when it comes to sex with trans guys.

What turns one on will have another thinking you’re some sort of pervert, so where you’re going to have to step up your game is in the communication department if you want the bedroom department to work for both people involved.

A lot also depends on your own starting point and what you think sex involves, but there’s no denying that sex with a trans guy, especially one who is pre-op or has opted for no lower surgeries at all, is going to be different than with a CIS guy.

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However, different is not necessarily a bad thing.

In fact, in that difference, you can often find some great surprises, such as guys who have more interest in making sure the woman enjoys herself rather than focusing solely on his own pleasure.

Of course, there are prosthetics than can be used and, for the most part, are incredibly realistic and can provide similar sensations for the woman if not for the guy, but these are a personal choice and not everyone is happy using them.

For me, pre-transition, sex was a minefield due to the levels of discomfort I felt with my own body.

Now, as I change, I find myself becoming more comfortable than I ever thought possible, but there’s some distance to go.

Sex recently has involved a lot of talking before, and after, and thankfully that’s been with someone who is open-minded, patient, and prepared to alter how she previously saw sex.

Before that, the majority of my sex was focused solely on what the woman wanted and my own discomfort was shunted to the side or ignored.

That was down to me, not them, I should stress.

We need to talk (Picture: Daylife)

Like with anything in life, if you don’t understand, the best course of action is to simply ask.

If you’re attracted to the guy in question, how his body is when you meet him will likely be a bigger issue for him than for you, especially in the early stages of transition.

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Talk it out when you get to know him and you both feel like you’d like to take the relationship to the next level.

This doesn’t mean that you just dive in and ask him to describe his genitals as soon as you find out he’s a trans guy.

That’s just rude.

Ask yourself first ‘would I ask a CIS guy this after just meeting him?’

If the answer is ‘no,’ you’d probably be advised just keeping your mouth shut.