Attention all Knifemakers!.....Product dealers/retailers and/or knife makers/sharpeners/hobbyists (etc) are not permitted to insert business related text/videos/images (company/company name/product references) and/or links into your signature line, your homepage url (within the homepage profile box), within any posts, within your avatar, nor anywhere else on this site. Market research (such as asking questions regarding or referring to products/services that you make/offer for sale or posting pictures of finished projects) is prohibited. These features are reserved for supporting vendors and hobbyists.....Also, there is no need to announce to the community that you are a knifemaker unless you're trying to sell something so please refrain from sharing.
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-The wife found her husband sitting on the back porch crying.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
"Do you remember when we were dating and your father told me that if I didn't marry you, he would send me to prison for 20 years?" he said.
"Yes", she responded "So what?"
"I would have gotten out of prison today", he sobbed.

Donald and daisy duck are in a hotel on a romantic weekend away. After a few glasses of bubbles things start to get a bit hot and heavy, all of a sudden Donald realises he forgot to bring condoms. He throws on a robe and waddles down to the front desk and hits up the concierge.

The concierge is happy to oblige the celebrity duck: "would you like me to pop them on your bill sir?"
Donald replies "Are you kidding me??? I'd suffocate!!!"

Little Johnny is walking through the park with his dad one day and he sees two dogs mating.

"Daddy! Daddy! What are those two dogs doing?"

"Um..." says Johnny's Dad awkwardly "they're making puppies Johnny."

"Oh, OK." replies Johnny, his curiosity satisfied.

Later that night, Johnny is in bed and has a terrible nightmare. He wakes in a cold sweat terrified, and rushes into his parents room and switches on the light. Looking at the bed, very confused, he says