EDM Culture: Attention Everyone! We Finally Found Molly!

Congratulations to whoever dresses their daughter up as a Molly Monster this year for Halloween-- you're officially the World's Worst Parent, in the history of ever.

For $24.99 (more or less) you get the Molly dress, Headband, Kandy Necklace, Footless Tights, Glovettes, Kandy bracelet, Fluffies, a Wig... and guess what else. A fucking pacifier. Not to mention your footprint in society as useless human waste.

Want to know just how sick and twisted this is? Molly Monster, once upon a time back before some idiot nicknamed MDMA "Molly," was one of three Muppet monster kids from Little Muppet Monsterson the famous TV Series: Muppets. Molly Monster lived in the basement of the Muppet house with her brothers Tug & Boo Monster. Totally innocent. Freakishly cute.

ADVERTISEMENT

Thanks for watching!

This costume would have been fine on its own, but the "Molly Monster" name, inclusion of Kandi (get the spelling correct for fucksake, it's getting embarrassing), a pacifier, and raver fluffies is so wrong it makes Paris Hilton DJing look right.