Wednesday, June 29, 2005

It has recently come to my attention that many people in this wide world of ours think it's bad form to complain. I am sure that they are right. Complaining never changed anything, and no one wants to be around a whiner. Right? Well, no one except me.

In my family, we were always allowed to complain. No stiff upper lip for us -- we come from a long and illustrious line of complainers. Nightly family dinners were always a litany of complaints. It is true, of course, that no one actually listened to anyone else's complaints, let alone encouraged the taking of any action designed to remedy to situation being complained about. It was complaint for complaint's sake, a high art which we Scribblers refined over countless hours of single-minded dedication to the form.

Here in the rest of the wide world, I frequently, well, complain about the restraint other adults show in their time of whininess. Where are the full-throated operatic complainant virtuosos? I say, along with Alice Roosevelt Longworth, "If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit next to me."

Herewith I present a new weekly feature: The Complaint Department. Wednesday Whining. The Open Thread. Come, tell me what annoys you. A fabulous prize offered to the best complaint!