May 29, 2012

A Tough Season

I’ve been
putting this off for too long. So here it goes.

Heather and I
have been struggling these past 3-6 months. Taking care of Sammie and Ellie,
with Heather being pregnant, has been an incredibly difficult thing. It’s been
very exhausting and that has made Heather and I not so good at parenting. So a
little while ago Heather and I finally came to a conclusion; we were no longer
a good fit for Sammie and Ellie. So we felt the best thing for them and us
would be if we found another foster family to care for them.

It’s not been an
easy road. There haven’t been any foreign families that are willing to take
them. We found out about a family who was interested and started the process of
getting Sammie and Ellie transitioned into their home. After one full day (play
date, we hadn’t moved them over yet) the family decided that they couldn’t take
care of them. We were devastated as we had high hopes for them and this family.
(That was about 2-3 weeks ago.)

And then a week
ago we found out that there is a local Chinese family that is willing to care
for them. For Heather and I, we had mixed feelings about this. We feel like we’ve
seen Sammie and Ellie’s English really improve as well as seen them start the adjustment
to western food and parenting style. It’s hard to swallow that they will now
have to readjust to their own culture. We know that this new family will love
these guys, but it will be different from how we have loved them.

But the truth
still remains, even if this new situation isn’t ideal, Heather and I had no
choice, what we’re doing right now is not sustainable.It’s super hard right now because with this
we feel a whole range of emotions. It’s hard to even put into words all that we’re
feeling.

If this weren’t
enough for us to be going through we’re also saying goodbye to our friends the
Faillas. In fact, it’s inappropriate to call them friends as they have become
our family. We’ve worked with them for the past 8 years and our kids have grown-up
together and I suppose we grown-ups have also grown-up together. They leave on
Friday and we’re not sure when we will see them again.

So this is how
it’s unfolded and is unfolding. Yesterday I took Sammie and Ellie over to the
new foster family for a chance for them to meet. It went well. Today they went
over again with our friend Julie. Tomorrow (Wed) we will move them over
permanently. (We’ve known about this for a little while, I just haven’t had the
strength or desire to write about it, so it’s not as sudden as this post is
making it sound.) Then on Friday we will say goodbye to the Faillas. Our hearts are aching and feel like they’ve
been through a grinder. It will be one of the hardest weeks we’ve ever faced.

We have told our
kids about the upcoming change and they’ve handled it well although they are
very sad. One of the best decisions we’ve made in this season was telling our
kids from the beginning that there would be another family that would adopt them
(we’ve also reminded them of this from time-to-time). So instead of them being
confused about why Sammie and Ellie are leaving they knew from the beginning
that they would leave us at some point.

Let me end with
this. To say that we’re limping to the finish line of this season would be a
gross exaggeration. Our Father is literally carrying us one day at a time.
There have been so many people who have reached out to us to love/support us.
Thank you, honestly we couldn’t do it without you! Please pray for us during
this difficult transition. Also for Sammie and Ellie, this will be extremely
hard for them. They will be with this new family until they are adopted to a
family in the states.

Thank you for
your prayers and support,

the petersons

15 comments:

You guys are wonderful people for even considering to watch this many children for as long as you have. The transition will be difficult, but in the grand scheme of things, I agree it will be best for them. Keep up the awesome work and hang in there. We love you guys.

We will be praying for you all, as well. We know how it feels to have to let go of a foster child and to face our own limitations as parents. Praying comfort over your hearts, especially with everything else you are facing.

Our hearts are breaking for you right now. We have peeked in and read here many times but never left a comment. We too have had too disrupt a placement before for the good of everyone and we know the pain, deeply. We love your blog and had seriously considered coming over to visit you. Will be praying.