Monday, December 7, 2009

Welcome, Holidailies People!

Help yourselves to virtual milk and cookies!

(for those of you who have no idea what's going on, Holidailies is "a free community writing project that promotes sharing your writing and other online creative endeavors during the winter holiday season. Holidailies 2009 participants try to update their personal websites consistently -- perhaps even daily -- from December 7, 2009 to January 6, 2010." I did something similar with the Countdown to Halloween)

A few words of warning:--This is not one of those sweetness 'n' light, brimming-with-cuteness kinds of blogs. I do not embrace the Holiday Season without a fair amount of cynicism, snark, and blasphemy. The things I find funny are often offensive to more right-minded individuals.*

--I am 54-yrs.-old, single, never married, have no children, and I don't date**. I have some serious social deficits and I am not a "people person." I rarely leave my (small, cluttered, dusty) apartment. TV, books, and the Intarwebs are my windows to the world. These facts place a... peculiar... spin upon my philosophy of life (see also "Fifty Things About Me").

--Grammar nazis fiends take heed: my writing abilities are somewhat limited. What you read is not polished (think of it as first draft stuff). I am overly fond of parenthetical expressions, footnotes (a laDavid Foster Wallace), and the word "that." Mrs. Forbes, my 11th grade English teacher, would be horrified by my overuse (and misuse) of commas***, ellipses, hyphens, dashes, my occasional lack of subject-verb agreement, my laughable attempts at parallelism, and my frequent lack of transitional phrases. Accent marks are non-existent. I know about these things; I simply do not take the time to make sure they're correct. I'm a good speller, though.

--I checked "no" on the "Adult Content?" option on the Holidailies registration page because I don't post porn or discuss anyone's sexual exploits here. I do use the occasional four-letter word and may link to what many may construe as scatological content (see below). Sorry 'bout that.

--In the coming days I will try very, very hard to be amusing. Failing that, I will certainly link to things I think are amusing.

-I'm a comment whore. Let me know you've been by even if it's just to say "Sweet zombie Jeebus, you are one messed-up individual!" I won't be offended (probably).

Anyway, welcome! I'm truly looking forward to reading your entries for the next month (keeps me off the streets and out of public view)!

*I find this hysterically funny in a very juvenile kind of way (I am deeply in touch with my Inner 10-yr.-old):

**I'm not against it; it's just that the opportunity rarely arises for reasons that should be glaringly obvious.

***I often use 'em to indicate a brief pause in speech, something that was expressly forbidden when I was in high school.