I’m taking a break from political blogging today since I have two political columns to write later and don’t wish to spoil my mood this early in the day.

It’s getting harder and harder to find something enjoyable to write about when it comes to politics. How many different ways can you write “They all suck?” Or come up with amusing ways to accuse the left of treason? Or the right of being heartless monsters? I’ve exhausted the thesaurus coming up with hateful adjectives to describe the utter stupidity of it all.

Besides, the left hasn’t really done anything treasonous lately which has kind of put a crimp in my style. It is very hard to save western civilization from the perfidy of liberals if they don’t cooperate by doing something totally outrageous and unpatriotic. So I would hope all my lefty friends would get their heads together and come up with some really gross, spectacularly anti-American action like spitting on John Wayne’s picture or something.

I probably won’t have too long to wait if the past is any guide…

And how in God’s name can I maintain my undeserved reputation as a basher of extremists on both sides of the political spectrum if the religious right behaves itself for more than 24 hours and doesn’t call for jailing homosexuals or burning feminists at the stake?

Best leave the former to Obama. As for the latter, Halloween is coming up and maybe someone will mistake Hillary for a real witch. If I was her, I wouldn’t go anywhere near Salem for a few days…

So what’s a blogger to do? I suppose I could write about sports but given the state of my dearly Beloved Bears, that’s a very sore subject at this point. And does anyone beside me really care that the Red Sox won the World Series?

In the past, I’ve given my top tens on a wide variety of subjects; Star Trek, movie villains, movie scores, movie lines. It’s a fun way to pass the time and always gets me in trouble with my readers whose choices are different from my own.

In fact, my experience with ranking Star Trek movies and series reminds me today of writing anything about Ron Paul; the nuts come out of the woodwork and use the most vile, personal language to tell me I’m wrong. The fact that most Paul supporters are reminiscent of Borg Drones is also somewhat relevant, although I’d give the Borg the edge in original thinking.

At any rate, in wracking my brains for something to write it suddenly dawned on me that a list of my favorite heroes of all time (since I did a piece on my favorite villains already) would be an interesting exercise.

What I found to my surprise was that almost all of my heroes are mythic heroes – real or imagined people who represent the best in all of us – the kind of people we should aspire to be; selfless, brave, fair, and with a personality larger than life.

Indeed, some of my mythic heroes are not the most attractive of characters. But their personalities were so gigantic that they dominated their world and had their contemporaries marveling at their deeds.

My choices and the ranking of them is sure to start an good debate in the comments. I have lifted the comment moderation function so that we can get a good back and forth going.

10. John Wayne

Probably isn’t close to most people’s top ten but think about it; is there any other film actor whose personae has leaped beyond the screen and made an impact on the consciousness of a nation? He is both icon and voodoo doll, a symbol of all that is good and evil about the United States depending on your point of view. To this day, he is the quintessential American in many parts of the world.

He was in many ways an unlovely character in the movies. He was loud, brash, given to speechifying and could be ruthless in pursuit of his goals. But he was also generous, fair to a fault, courageous, and self sacrificing. The world could do a lot worse in judging America by the actions of John Wayne in the movies.

9. King Kong

Yes, “’tis beauty killed the beast.” But oh what a beast! Kong has heroic qualities every male should aspire to; he was chivalrous, gentle, emotionally grounded, solicitous of his mate’s feelings and very protective. I much prefer the 1933 Kong to Peter Jackson’s overwrought 2005 release although the latter day ape certainly looks and acts more human.

Kong’s tragedy was in the unrequited love he felt for Fay Wray. It was a relationship that was impossible – not because they were different species but because of his size. And, of course, he could never fit in her world any more than she could live in his. But as a mythic hero, Kong had few equals in film history.

8. Roland

To the Italians, he is Orlando. In Spain, he is Rolando. To a half dozen other European countries, he exists in myth as the ultimate knight. Anyone who garners this much admiration has to make the top ten list.

Some believe Roland was a real person who died fighting the Muslims in the 13th century. If so, I hope he had his magic sword and horn with him when he perished. The Song of Roland may be one of the most inspiring works in western culture. I picture him in my minds eye as a tall, tow headed figure who fought for justice and against oppression.

7. El Cid

Yes, he was a real man (Rodrigo Diaz de Vivar) whose deeds were immortalized in one of Charlton Heston’s greatest roles. A hero in battle for both Spain and the Moors, at first glance, he may not be the most lovely of historical figures. He was vain and apparently something of a thief not to mention his desire to carve out his own kingdom later on in his life.

Ah, but the legend of El Cid is what concerns us. And the mythic Cid was every bit the hero. A tireless fighter for King Alfonso and Spain, he served his King even when he knew his sovereign was wrong – a sign of fealty that was probably not the case in real life but is certainly appealing. The film also depicts the legendary scene of Rodrigo’s death when, after getting shot by an arrow in a battle against the Berber invaders, he makes his wife Jimena promise that he will be at the head of his troops the next day no matter what. Jimena keeps her word after the Cid dies during the night by dressing him in his best armor and strapping him to his horse, sending him out at the head of his troops and leading them to victory.

Defeating an enemy while you are dead would get you on this list even if he had been a real jerk.

6. King Arthur

So much has been written about this guy that even the legends get confusing. In popular culture, you have your choice among a singing Arthur, an ex-Roman knight, an earnest demigod who has the help of a wizard to keep power, or Sean Connery dressed in a real cool blue tunic with Richard Gere not really wanting Julie Ormond but just unable to help himself.

I prefer an amalgam of the legends as portrayed in L’Morte D’Arthur. A great warrior as well as a respected leader, Arthur inspired those around him to be their best and live up to an impossible standard – the effort itself being life’s reward. As far his example of chivalrous behavior and sacrificing himself, their are elements of the life of Jesus in the story that are quite compelling.

5. Robin Hood

The legends and songs have worn well over the centuries. He is an “everyman” hero in that his deeds are used to underscore qualities in many eras from the age of chivalry to the present.

Like Siegfried and unlike Roland, his stories have remained constant through the ages; his love for Marian, the archery tournament, his first meeting with Little John – all the familiar parts of the narrative shown in a half dozen films about Robin Hood were told around medieval campfires and by Troubadours.

4. Samson

My favorite guy in the bible, bar none. He seems so real a person, afflicted with vanity and hubris as well as an independent streak that you kind of get mad at God for punishing. After all, it wasn’t his fault that he lost his hair.

But for making the case of man as mythic beast, Samson wins hands down. Slaying an entire army with the jawbone of an ass? Perfect metaphor for war, don’t you think? And taking your enemies with you when you go is a nice touch.

3. Odysseus

One of the more complex mythic heroes in that his deeds certainly make him a standout on anyone’s top ten list but his faults were equally gigantic. Overweening pride, over confidence in his own abilities (even thinking himself equal to the Gods), and a rather unattractive trickery to his methods all combine to paint him as an untrustworthy but courageous warrior.

But it was his long, eventful trip home after the Trojan War that makes Odysseus one of the most remarkable figures in literature. Taking everything the Gods could throw at him and triumphing in the end (with the help of a couple of friendly deities) pegs Odysseus as one who overcame incredible odds to succeed. And once home, his sweet revenge on his wife’s suitors is one of the most shocking scenes imaginable.

2. Beowulf

The film will be out next month and I’m not particularly anxious to see it given Hollywood’s treatment of classic literature (Brad Pitt as Achilles? Really now!). But the character of Beowulf has no rivals for the sheer power of his personality and awe inspiring deeds.

He not only killed the monster Grendel but Grendel’s mother too! And if the unnamed author had thought of it, it would have been great if he had slain the monster’s father as well so marvelously drawn were the fight scenes.

Defeating Grendel by tearing his arm off after battling him hand to hand for the entire night is just great storytelling. No human weapons had any effect on the the monsters so Beowulf had to rely on his strength and courage to defeat the both Grendel and his mother. The victory made Beowulf an object of worship by the people which, while unseemly, seems about right given the ferociousness of both.

What makes Beowulf stand out for me was the nature of the enemy; terrifying and pitiless. His victory over the monsters remains the most heroic acts of courage in western literature.

1. John Carter of Mars

Surprise! I told you that these were not necessarily the most scholarly choices or even the most logical. These are my favorite mythic heroes and for my number one, I choose John Carter, Edgar Rice Burroughs swashbuckling, impossibly perfect earthling who is magically transported to Mars where for 10 pulse pounding, mind blowing books, he saves the planet as well as his “incomparable” wife Dejah Thoris.

The best adventures are contained in the first three books where his skill as a swordsman and the sheer audacity of his personality unite all the creatures of Mars – 4 armed green men, black skinned men, white skinned men, and the dominant red skins – in a one world government.

Carter exhibits all the attributes of a mythic hero; handsome, strong, protector of the weak, fair minded, decisive, and the greatest swordsman who ever lived. And his wild Martian adventures make a splendid canvass that Burroughs paints his portrait of the perfect hero over. A truly remarkable series of books that has enthralled generations of youngsters since they came out before World War I.

[...] IT wrote an interesting post today on MY TEN FAVORITE MYTHIC HEROES OF ALL TIMEHere’s a quick excerpt [...]

3

busboy33 Said:
7:12 pm

Wow. Scoring HUGE points by dropping the John Carter!!

4

Lee Dresselhaus Said:
8:23 pm

Okay, your inclusion of John Carter prompted me to write this comment. I’ve been a fan of Edgar Rice Burroughs since I was 12 (which gives us an idea of the intellectual level of his stuff but – I don’t care.)

His characters are great and anyone who hasn’t read them – or who turns up an intellecual nose at them – just doesn’t know what they’re missing.

Here’s an article I wrote a while back about pulp hereoes and how much fun they are. Hope you enjoy it….http://www.gatewaymonthly.com/72heroes.html

By the way, I also blog over at Say Anything as Pilgrim. Stop by sometime.

5

Mark H. Said:
9:22 pm

I think it must have been when I was around 10, maybe a bit earlier that I ran across John Carer in “The Synthetic Men of Mars” (#9 in that series according to Amazon).

It provided fodder for dreams for a long, long time—I enjoyed it immensely. I think I picked it up in a Church basement sale for a nickel or a dime, but don’t recall (and am fairly certain I didn’t) reading any of the other books in the series.

A good choice for No. 1 though, IMHO.

6

Lamontyoubigdummy Said:
9:26 pm

Fantastic. While I could go nuts on this topic, I’ll just add two that popped into my head right off:
Snake Pliskin
Robert E. Howard’s “Conan.”

7

longwalker Said:
12:40 am

In general, I agree with most of your choices except for Roland. That thick-headed, conceited jackass led his troops into a trap and refused to call for assistance. By the time he was finally persuaded to blow that damn horn, it was too late. The relief force found nothing but bodies when they arrived. If Roland had had a brain, he would not have fallen for the Moorish trap, and, if he was not full of false pride, he would have called for help when the Moors sprung their ambush.

8

Gary Said:
9:58 am

Robin Hood? Didn’t he steal from the rich and give it to the poor. Knew you were a Democrat.

Excellent post! Loved all of your choices. But Gary, Robin Hood only stole from one rich guy – the Sherriff of Nottingham (or Prince John, depending on the story version) – who is a lot like Bill Clinton if you think about it!

So, he’s not really a Dhimmicrat, he’s a Demopublican!

10

canddmf Said:
12:15 pm

I loved your number 1 pick. The Martian series was the first group of books I read voluntarily (around 12 years old) and still have my original paperpack versions.

Tarzan (of the books) was similarly “perfect” and mostly mis-used by Hollywood.

What a great selection!

The story of Roland (as I recall from long ago) was actually more tragic than stupid. I thought he was commander of Charlemagne’s rear guard and thus required to protect the main army from the Moors? The reason he is heroic is that he did his duty until the end.

John Carter is a great #1 pick—as a young (and not-so-young) teen, I read those books over and over again, and not just because of the Frank Frazetta covers.

Here are some other nominees:
—Tarzan. If you’ve never read the original Tarzan novels—particularly the first two, which really form a duology—you’re in for a treat and a surprise. No film or TV show has ever captured ERB’s Tarzan correctly.
—Frodo. OK, it’s hard nowadays to see Elijah Wood looking angsty as a mythic hero, but I started reading these novels 40 years ago. “’I will take the ring,’ he said, ‘though I do not know the way.’” remains for me one of the most moving and inspiring lines in literature.
—Jack Sawyer from The Talisman (by Stephen King and Peter Straub; the best novel by either author). One of the sweetest compliments my wife ever paid me was to tell me—after reading The Talisman for the first time—that Jack Sawyer reminded her of me.
—Ellen Ripley in Alien/Aliens, particularly in Aliens. One of the few genuine female mythic heroes in modern times, and an original creation at that. “Get away from her, you bitch!” is one of my favorite movie lines ever.
—Jack Aubrey from Patrick O’Brien’s wonderful (and too short!) series of novels. As human, frail, and at times self-defeating a hero as you are likely to find, and for all that a truly mythic hero.
—George Washington and Abraham Lincoln. Cliches, I know, but the more I have learned about each of these men over the years, the more I realize how truly remarkable and unique they were and what a debt of gratitude we—as Americans, and by extension, the whole modern world—owe them.

I’m sure I’ll think of others given time, but these are the first that spring to mind. ..bruce..

13

longwalker Said:
1:52 pm

Roland was in command of either the vanguard or the rear guard but his orders from Charlemagne was to prevent the main body from being attacked without warning. He was also told to call for assistance if attacked. However, his ego was so great that he refused to sound his horn until it was too late for his troops.

14

N. O'Brain Said:
2:34 pm

Funny, as much of a sci fi/fantasy fan as I’ve been since, well, forever, I never did like Burroughs.

Now, E. E. “Doc” Smith and his Lensmen….

15

canddmf Said:
3:15 pm

N. O’Brain Said:
2:34 pm

Funny, as much of a sci fi/fantasy fan as Iâ€™ve been since, well, forever, I never did like Burroughs.

I loved his work all through my teens. Now, looking back, they were very formulaic and predictable, but the characters there almost always demonstrated the idealized best in men and best in women at the time. I’ve read all 93(?) of Burroughs novels (many up to 4 times) and always enjoyed them.

As you get “more sophisticated”, you turn to more complex characters and heroes, but they were great as prototypes.

Robin Hood is so misunderstood. He didn’t rob from the rich to give to the poor. He revolted against the oppressive, over-taxing government and returned the tax money to the downtrodden, law abiding tax payers. He was the freakin’ Samuel Adams of 12th Century!

19

Craig1974 Said:
10:58 am

Your comment about Samson leads me to believe that you think he is a mythical creation in the Bible. Is this what you believe? Samson, who indeed possessed great strength was also one of the Judges in Israel prior to them becoming a nation led by a king.