Samajwadi Party MPs to wear roller skates for faster walkouts

New Delhi. Samajwadi Party MPs will wear roller skates inside Lok Sabha and Rajya Sabha during the next session of parliament, Party leader Mulayam Singh announced today. This decision has been taken to speed up the process of walking out of parliament, something SP MPs frequently indulge in during every parliament session.

Speaking to media persons outside parliament after a walkout (reasons for which were unknown to Mr. Singh himself), Mr. Mulayam Singh said, “We too want to contribute to the functioning of parliament. Since we can’t help ourselves from walking out over every damn issue, we have decided to contribute by saving time and getting out of the parliament as quickly as we can.”

“Most of our MPs are getting pretty old too, myself included, so it gets a bit tiring to walk in and walk out all the time, so we have decided to skate our way in and out of the parliament,” he added.

A sample roller skater, though the actual ones used by the SP leaders could be red in color to represent the party ideology.

When asked why they bother to turn up if they are going to walkout every single time, Mr. Singh turned a bit philosophical and said, “Everyone’s role is defined in this world. This walkout is the only big role we have in our democracy; we can’t wait for a bigger role like some others, so have to fulfill this role only. That is why we come to the parliament to walk out of the parliament.”

Sources informed us that Mulayam Singh Yadav ji has gifted a pair of skates to Mr. Hamid Ansari as well so that he can exit quickly after 12 PM before Mayawati can catch him in the act.

Every Samajwadi Party MP has been instructed to learn roller skating by the time the next session of the parliament starts. Sources inform us that this is not the only thing they will be learning during the off-season between sessions. Self-defense training has also been scheduled for their MPs as they don’t want to look like cowards, wearing helmets on their heads in case Lok Sabha goes down West Bengal assembly path.

Every Samajwadi Party leader has been asked to attend a speech therapy session every day as well, as their shouts were frequently drowned by BSP MPs during the current session, a repeat of which, they want to avoid at any cost.

Even though Mr. Mulayam Singh was very confident that all their MPs will be able to learn roller skating by the time Budget session starts in 2013, not everyone shared his optimism.