He is a musician and music teacher by career; he lives for music. My plan was to get him a new electric guitar, which I have carefully chosen from hours of poring over reviews and asking questions. Since this is a big purchase, I’ve been slowly saving funds from a writing job I have on the side.

My dilemma is this: I don’t ever want it to seem like I am trying to outdo my fiance, especially not on our wedding day. He always jokes about one year when I gave him concert tickets around Easter after he showed up with a basket of homemade snacks.

The truth is that I absolutely love everything he does for me, no matter if it costs 5 cents or $500, and he knows that. I don’t buy things with the intent of getting a comparable gift. It just so happens that his hobbies/pursuits are more costly than mine.

My thoughts are that while I making some extra funds from writing, I could save to get him something he’ll love and use regularly. On the flip side, I don’t want him to feel outdone. And we could always use the extra money for say, honeymoon or housing related purchases.

To answer any possible questions, I have given him more sentimental gifts like a picture I painted and scrapbook in the past. He has watches and is not really a cuff link type of guy.

Should I stick to my original plan or take it down a notch financially?

@LibbyJ: I don’t get the whole idea of brides and grooms getting gifts for each other. We recently got married, and we didn’t get each other gifts – that was mainly because we both paid for the entire wedding ourselves. I think he got a little nervous as it got closer, because he asked me if we were getting each other gifts, and I told him immediately, absolutely no! I let him know immediately that I wasn’t expecting a gift from him, and he shouldn’t from me. I think he was very relieved! But like I said, this was because we both spent a lot of money on the wedding – we went 50/50, so giving each other a gift seemed totally pointless.

I don’t know what your situation is (if you guys are paying for the wedding, or your parents, whatever) – but have you actually had the discussion about even giving each other gifts in the first place? Maybe you can scratch that idea, and focus on planning the wedding.

My fiance is also a musician and a music teacher I dont know your future husband, but my experience with this is that a guitar is something they need to pick out for themselves. My fiance always has to go to the music store and play the guitars he is interested in to find out if they have the right feeling and sound that he wants. It is not something I would ever buy for him without his input. I dont want to put down whatever decision you end up making, but I would tread carefully if you decide to get him a guitar.

I don’t think we are getting each other gifts, but that is mainly because we are paying for a good portion of the wedding so that it pretty much our gifts to each other.

@LibbyJ: Libby, I forgot to add something to my previous reply: I DID surprise my husband with a grooms cake, which they put next to our wedding cake (it was a smaller cake, with his favorite flavor, with a special design that had to do something with his hobbies), so I guess that was KIND of a gift – although we could both enjoy it.

maybe you could get him a grooms cake with a music symbol as design? Again, I don’t know what your and his expectations are as far as giving gifts to each other.

I would just buy what you want to buy and not worry about outdoing him. My Darling Husband makes a lot more money than I do and has for most of our relationship. As such, his gifts always outshine mine dollar-wise. For our wedding gift, I got him boudoir photos and he got me a huge RHR that we were eyeing for an ering initially. Clearly, that’s a HUGE price discrepancy.

I think the point here is that you each get the other person something they’ll love and cherish and the money value shouldn’t be a worry, whether it’s $0.05 or $5000. You’re getting married now and going forward, you both will be a team. Plus, you have no idea what he’s getting you; maybe he’s been squirreling away money all this time too.