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funny (if not necessarily "passive-aggressive") notes from pissed-off people

The classic all-staff e-mail

Shirley in Canada says one of her coworkers sent this e-mail to the entire building — several hundred people in all — after what we can only assume was an unsuccessful half-day cooling-off period. (Or perhaps just several hours spent choosing the most whimsically enraged font/color combination.)

Meanwhile, this all-staff e-mail was sent to over 400 employees in Australia — “more than half of whom don’t even work in the same postcode.”

I had nothing to do with the liberation of your Jarhead poster as I was in the office kitchen gathering wayward lunches. However, I would very much like to pillage your foodstuffs later this afternoon.

I guess the art servers will have to wait because now i HAVE to read those lyrics.

[edit] – upon further inspection – not only is Billy Rae Cyrus insane – but has some severe manic depression issues he may want to work out. No wonder his daughter is dating men twice her age and posing nude for magazines.

The real question is why would anybody steal a poster for this shitty movie? Seriously? I mean, The poster has virtually no monetary value. The design if like the dvd cover is godawful. I speculate that whoever took it was really doing this bitch a favor.

Well Arnold has put my lovely state into a huge deficit, he has support for Prop 8 (he thinks that gay marriage should be between a man and a woman), and many other issues that I don’t have time to type since I don’t want to get fired…

Once he isn’t running my state and he moves back to Hollywood where he belongs, I might get over it in a few years and watch another Terminator movie.

gggrreeeaaatttt. So I guess I owe Fla about the same amount. Yea. I don’t understand that. WTF. Why don’t they take it outo f the money I made? I dunno. But whatever. I’m expensing my move on my taxes and that cost close to 10G.

I’m no Arnold supporter, but you can’t really blame all of California’s problems on him. As much as I’d like to, we have much deeper, fundamental problems than 1 guy. I think we give WAY too much credit and blame to our politicians…kind of like we do for actors in really bad movies like Batman & Robin…oh wait…

If someone pillaged my workspace I would consider it cleaning and leave a thank you note. Especially if they took any random posters of crappy movies. Wait, I don’t have any of those. If I put one up, will someone pillage? Please?

b) Have the poster “booby-trapped” so that when its push pins are pulled, a giant* invisible-yet-indomitable cage will instantly fall from the ceiling, trapping the scoundrel like a startled mime caught in your headlights.

And this time, they’re on bright.

*Actual size varies. Must be large enough to contain an adult, but small enough to fit inside a cubicle.

And yet we just know some one hit reply all to both of these messages to make a sarcastic PA note of their own, which then digressed into many more follow up reply all emails that said nothing more than “don’t use reply all!”

I like my jarhead poster bc it says “welcome to the suck”, and since I live in a cube 5 days of the week, i smile when i see it. I wrote that email in the spirit of PA AND i wrote it because it was just as ridiculous as taking the poster in the first place.

I tried to watch Jarhead and I soon lost interest in the project. The only thing I remember was that Jake Gyllenhaal was in it. So, I figured the poster would have a super dreamy picture of him all decked out in army garb so that 13 year old girls could oggle him. So I googled the movie poster to find that it’s just a rusty dog tag with a lame tag line. Not worthy of my half-wall.

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"The thing that drives me bonkers at work is to open up the trash can drawer and see a cup half-full of water that was carefully placed into the trash can so it doesn't spill--in a trash can an arm's length away from the kitchen sink!

99% of the people in my office are college graduates, probably toward the top of their class. But some without enough common sense to pour the water in the sink before putting the cup into the trash can.