Drinking Jobs

Coming up with a serviceable excuse to drink on St. Patrick's Day is one of modern man's eternal struggles, particularly those modern men who are stuck at work. Some guys, shockingly enough, don't need a clever scheme or vaguely plausible reason to leave work to get drunk, because they have drinking jobs.

Not all of the drinking jobs we’re going to discuss require getting loaded, but even just the smallest inclination of being able to be in the same room as alcohol while at work is far more than most guys bother to hope for.

With the proper motivation, here are five drinking jobs you can aspire to attain.

1- Brewmaster

On top of being a pretty awesome-sounding title, "Brewmaster" is also an actual area of study with tests, accreditation and science-sounding terms and everything. There are two brewing programs that we know of (one at UC Davis and one at the Siebel Institute of Technology) and one Master Brewers Association working diligently to make sure your beer tastes good. So, have some respect for that pint.

As for the job itself, the brewmaster (or master brewer) is basically the guy who runs the entire brewery. He needs an understanding of chemistry and engineering to manage the brewing operations, and from time to time he works on developing new beers or improving existing ones. An abiding familiarity with all things born of hops and grains is definitely required.

If you spent any time on a college campus, drinking jobs like this have definitely crossed your mind.

2- Sommelier

Commonly called a wine steward by people who find French names too snooty, the sommelier is the fellow in charge of the wines in a fancy restaurant. He may or may not actually come to your table (a regular waiter or wine waiter might bring you the wine list and offer suggestions), but if you have any in-depth questions or want expert advice, the sommelier is the guy you're looking for.

In addition to dealing with customers, the sommelier also designs the wine list and works with the restaurant's chefs to pair wines with specific dishes. Increasingly, sommeliers are expected to work with more than just wine, so one might taste a handful of wines, beers and cocktails when deciding what best complements items on the menu. We definitely can appreciate drinking jobs that also include eating.

3- Nightlife reviewer

Newspapers and trendy city publications often have someone on the payroll whose entire job is partying, and then writing about it. Undoubtedly, the envy of his friends and colleagues, this guy reviews clubs and bars, goes to events and grand openings, and generally gets to do stuff that no other human being is allowed to call work.