Comedy Quotes

Father Brian Finn: I got you something. I almost didn't because I was so mad but this is too good.Rabbi Jake Schram: Holy shit! It's the Rabbi Schlomo Schnurson rookie card! It's like the last in the series!

Indian Bartender: Let me guess. Your old lady got fed up because you're out here chasing the skirt so she took these little ones and left you.Father Brian Finn: It's a little more complicated than that.Indian Bartender: Sure it is. Everyone thinks his story is the one with a twist. Well let me tell you, I've heard just about everything there is to...[Brian unzips his jacket, revealing his priest's collar]Indian Bartender: Holy shit.Father Brian Finn: Exactly.