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Wednesday, June 29, 2011

From Denny: Only Colbert could satirize the uninspiring truth about the Afghan War. President Obama addresses the nation from the East Room, renamed by Colbert as the "I Killed Bin Laden Room."

As Obama suggested we spend more time nation building right here in America it was Colbert that was outraged at the audacity of it all. "Who wants to get sucked into another quagmire?"

It's a country with a crumbling infrastructure (flash a photo of collapsed American bridges due to a lack of funds for maintenance), a barely functioning democracy (flash a photo of America's political leaders), large areas completely beyond the government's control (flash a photo of the state of Texas) and with a population of poorly educated and armed religious extremists who hate their government(flash a photo of Sarah Palin).

"And there's the stomach-churning human rights abuses (flash a photo of Donald Trump and The Celebrity Apprentice)." Colbert strongly advises Obama to reconsider nation building right here in America because "if you break it, you bought it."

Thursday, June 23, 2011Nation Building in America
President Obama wants to focus on nation building a country with crumbling infrastructure and a barely functioning democracy. (01:35)

* Check out Dennys News Politics Comedy Science Arts & Food - a place where all my other 20 blogs link so you can choose from among the latest posts all in one place. A free to read online newspaper from independent journalist blogger Denny Lyon. *

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Tuesday, June 28, 2011

From Denny: Jon Stewart really rips into Fox News and Chris Wallace about how they present their idea of the truth. Their thinking is so confused and perverted it boggles the minds of clear thinkers.

What Fox News purports is that Jon Stewart is a partisan Democrat who likes to make fun of conservatives. They believe he makes fun of some liberals and Obama in order to maintain his credibility he is unbiased and fair. Hunh???

From Jon Stewart: "That narrative of conservative victimization is the true genius of what Fox News has accomplished. Any editorial judgment in news, or schools or movies that doesn't favor the conservative view is elitism and is evidence of liberal bias.

"Whereas any editorial judgment that favors the conservative view is merely evidence of fairness and done to protect them from liberal bias. And, if you criticize Fox for this game, guess what that's evidence of: how right they are about how they are so persecuted. That argument is air tighter than an otter's anus."

What a bunch of cry babies promoting the victim card.

Of course, Jon relates other weirdo reasoning like the reason the ATF screwed up with their guns operation where guns ended up in the hands of Mexican drug cartels that were used to kill American law enforcement. You see, according to Fox News, the ATF made sure the Mexican drug cartels got possession of those guns in order to prove America needs harsher gun laws so Obama can take away guns from American citizens. Hunh???

You know, I'm almost getting to the point I hope Fox News never goes off the air. After all, it supplies comics with a never-ending source of perverted entertainment. Unfortunately, living here in the South, I know waaaay too many people that actually believe these perverted reasonings. Sad but true. They also listen to bloated ego Rush Limbaugh.

So, it is true that "you are what you eat" even when it's Liars News like Fox News. Guard your minds, folks, and don't let the lying snakes into your heads. I wonder if tin foil and a few antennas might prove useful? Meanwhile, take a listen and laugh:

Monday June 27, 2011Oh, for Fox Sake
Chris Wallace sets the record straight about his interview with Jon by retracting the truth.

* Check out Dennys News Politics Comedy Science Arts & Food - a place where all my other 20 blogs link so you can choose from among the latest posts all in one place. A free to read online newspaper from independent journalist blogger Denny Lyon. *

*** THANKS for visiting, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, enjoy bookmarking this post on your favorite social site, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers – and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!

Sunday, June 26, 2011

From Denny:While the nation laughs at the GOP contenders trolling across the nation for dollars and votes the comedians are out in full force making us laugh harder. First, there is the Sarah Palin "We The People" Bus Tour across America to show her patriotism.

Forget it the historic facts were spewed out wrong. Just keep rolling that bus while you collect wads of cash to stuff into your greedy pockets. It's amazing anyone gives her money as she promises illogical things and delivers air promises. When the press quotes her exactly everyone is still left scratching their heads, wondering what was she addressing as an issue and what was her solution.

Then we all got to snicker as Newt Gingrich got fired by his own campaign. Come on. Who fires their candidate? Yeah, it was that bad. Kind of makes you feel bad for the Republicans. OK, not enough to vote for any of them but still... Can you imagine trying to sell lipstick on the Newt Pig? That's one hard sell that not even Tiffany's jewelry could improve. It's no wonder they covered their faces like The Taliban and left town.

Moving right along in the psycho-drama of the 2012 Republicans are the Mormon candidates. Mitt Romney used to be a Democrat but changed sides like any good ol' fashioned opportunist seeking the most votes in uncertain political times. Unfortunately, for him, as nice a guy as he appears, he also comes across as someone with a vacant mind. He changes his positions so many times you would think he wrote the Political Kama Sutra Manual.

Friday, June 24, 2011

From Denny:Get your crash course in crooked banking Wall Street style from your favorite comedian. He does make learning fun. Why wasn't college this entertaining?

You have all heard about how Greece is melting down financially. Recently, the European Union put on hold their $billion bailout while they await Greece to sell off some of their assets. What took the Greeks so long to get around to the obvious? They should have sold their banks and state-owned companies years ago when they were first in trouble.

If you have ever visited Greece you soon learn they have one terrific lifestyle. It's not terribly responsible on the individual level any more than on the national level. They literally party every night, spending hundreds of dollars a night. They do not save money. They don't believe in savings accounts. Amazing.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

From Denny: The famous Koch Brothers, who love to meddle in the very same government they claim should not basically exist, are now flexing their financial muscles again. They are demanding legislators lose the proposed energy legislation for natural gas subsidies to help wean America off oil.

Of course, Koch Industries, based out of Kansas, primarily has interests in oil, refining and pipelines as well as chemicals and consumer products like toilet paper (Angel Soft) and paper towels (Brawny). These are the same numb nuts that want to burrow an oil sands pipeline straight up through America to Canada from Houston.

Did I mention they want to dig said crazy pipeline under the only fresh drinking water, an underground glacier, for the entire Midwest population? Oh, and they claim "it's perfectly safe and nothing will go wrong." Uh, huh, and that's what BP told us here in Louisiana about the Gulf of Mexico oil spill clean up.

It's no wonder these two don't want natural gas to cut into their profits when they have so heavily invested in oil and refining. The new energy proposal to promote natural gas is backed by energy billionaire T. Boone Pickens. Remember the guy with the wind turbine TV ads? He's also the same guy that gets those turbines manufactured in China instead of America.

Monday, June 20, 2011

From Denny: Gallup pollsters discovered this week that 78 percent of Americans are unhappy about the way things are going in this country. That's a six point increase in dissatisfaction in only 30 days.

In another Gallup poll this week as well, the U.S. Economic Confidence, only 30 percent of Americans believe the economy is getting better. That's down another seven points since last month.

Six straight weeks of Wall Street declines and bleak jobs outlook are the major factors for dissatisfaction. The crippling third reason is the very high price of gasoline at the pump. It's over $1 dollar higher per gallon than a year ago and that was too high for the economy to thrive back then.

Who can afford to drive to their job when it now costs as much as an additional $500 or more a month? People are choosing between paying their house mortgage or driving to work.

Another opinion of over half of Americans is that they rate the economy as "poor," down three points from last week as well as down three points from this time last year. People also fear a global economic slowdown. Two thirds say the economy is "getting worse."

Perhaps President Obama should quit bragging on how much money he is demanding from donors and get serious about fixing the jobs situation if he wants to get reelected. Clearly, the American public is in a foul mood, no longer easily mollified by inspirational speeches that get no serious follow up coupled with great deeds.

* * * Please support Warriors Pearl Foundation - helping homeless female military veterans come home. Visit Denny Lyon Gifts @ CafePress.com - see what's new! And a special thanks to those of you supporting this effort! You rock!

* Check out Dennys News Politics Comedy Science Arts & Food - a place where all my other 20 blogs link so you can choose from among the latest posts all in one place. A free to read online newspaper from independent journalist blogger Denny Lyon. *

*** THANKS for visiting, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, enjoy bookmarking this post on your favorite social site, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers – and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!

Saturday, June 18, 2011

From Denny: Now that Anthony Weiner is off the laughing stage for sex scandals - after three grueling weeks of ridicule - there are always the funny Schwarzenegger cartoons lying around on this blog waiting for their debut.

Schwarzenegger (R-CA) sure shocked everyone with his big drama of the discovered love child. (Turns out he has several more, according to actress Jane Seymour.) His wife had to feel doubly betrayed because she had trusted her four children with this housekeeper. Just when you think you have heard it all there is another version of this silly story of sex gone wrong.

Did you know that Anthony Weiner (D-NY) has been offered jobs at Hustler magazine and on Al Gore's new network? After all, if disgraced Eliot Spitzer can become a talk show host on CNN why not Anthony Weiner?

As to Schwarzenegger, well, I doubt he will get any good jobs in the political arena like he has been angling for from this White House. Can you believe it that Arney actually thinks he can function as an elder statesman? What drugs is he taking? Yes, that is his stated goal.

Friday, June 17, 2011

From Denny: Colbert tries to nail down the mysterious person of Obama's mother, Ann Dunham, since the President has so far been unwilling to talk about her. It sounds like he had, perhaps still has, mixed feelings about his relationship with her.

A Singular Woman: The Untold Story of Barack Obama's Mother
Apparently, she met and married Obama's father in Hawaii when she was only seventeen years old. Hawaii is a multi-cultural state where interracial relationships are not the scandal as on the mainland. Though even back in the 1960's it raised some disapproving eyebrows. But she was a trail blazer.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

From Denny: In an obvious political vendetta using the power of the federal government at an unwelcome taxpayer expense - for what does not rise to a criminal level - President Obama and Atty. Gen. Holder indicted former Senator John Edwards last week on six weak-as-rainwater counts - supposedly on campaign finance law violations.

Political skunks in the Democratic Party

Obama, and the political skunks of Team Obama - Axelrod, Plouffe and Holder - are going for blood. You see, the obvious strategy is to lay the trap for Edwards, keeping him pinned down for the rest of the campaign season. These crazies have it in their head that it is Edwards that will come out of nowhere and challenge Obama for the 2012 election.

2012 Democratic challenger?

Edwards was never meant to be the challenger. In fact, the challenger does not yet know he will run for the 2012 bid. But, when the time is right, he will step into the ring at the right moment, capture the public's imagination and trounce Obama and the Republicans. That's a highly likely scenario given this trash economy.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

From Denny: Only Jon Stewart could make the GOP debates actually sound somewhat interesting. At our house we consider them a real snooze, OK, yawn. First up was the media beating up on milk toast Pawlenty who refused to slash and gut Romney on "ObaNeeCare" that only just days before he had criticized Romney.

Since Romney is the current front runner in this 17 month race to the White House, he was grinning like a Cheshire Cat while Pawlenty tried to weasel out of his statements against Romney. Yeah, Pawlenty sure looks like Vice President front runner material to the media. He displayed a willingness to accept Beta Dog position to Romney's Alpha Dog.

Moving right along to Bachmann and her stunner performance. It's obvious she hired an acting coach in conjunction with her speech coach. Too bad she didn't think to hire a Make Any Sense Coach to add to her campaign war chest. But hey, these Tea Party candidates don't always come to the party with all their marbles.

She proudly announced she had submitted "the papers just that day to seek the office of the president of the United States." Well, yeah, honey, and that's why you are involved in a presidential debate the same day. All together now, "Got sense?"

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

From Denny: Enjoy some funny quotes from fathers about being a father. Get inspired from some inspirational quotes about fathers and from fathers.

Enjoy two musicians - Keith Urban and Abel Ullon - and what they have to say about what it is like being a father and observing their own fathers as parents.

Most of all, enjoy some wonderful photography from a variety of amateurs and professionals, revealing fathers in their most intimate moments with their children. Taking a snooze, playing sand castle on the beach, riding on daddy's shoulder, hanging out with pregnant mom, daddy gazing into the eyes of his newborn, daddy cookies baked just for him, playing "kids in the bucket," learning to play music, and getting kisses from his little girls on his special day to be honored - at least once a year! :)

Angel Diaries: Samuel story poem - How do you recognize when an angel has truly come into your life? Do you remember your angel sightings or did the moment pass you by?

3 Kinds of Men to Honor - Today is Father’s Day on the calendar and I will be thinking of them throughout this week, we choose this day to honor the good examples of quality men who have influenced our lives beneficially. Most people reflect upon a father, a brother, an uncle, a grandfather, a husband, a good and trusted friend, even a mentor.

Video: Making A Difference - Father's Heart Ranch - This is a wonderful story full of love to heal abused and abandoned boys in California. A retired professional baseball player turned non-denominational minister took his life savings to begin this endeavor.

* * * Please support Warriors Pearl Foundation - helping homeless female military veterans come home. Visit Denny Lyon Gifts @ CafePress.com - see what's new! And a special thanks to those of you supporting this effort! You rock!

* Check out Dennys News Politics Comedy Science Arts & Food - a place where all my other 20 blogs link so you can choose from among the latest posts all in one place. A free to read online newspaper from independent journalist blogger Denny Lyon. *

*** THANKS for visiting, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, enjoy bookmarking this post on your favorite social site, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers – and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!

Monday, June 13, 2011

From Denny: So why does exhibitionist Congressman Anthony Weiner wonder why everyone is suddenly paying attention to him? Yes, that is the burning media question of the day.

What's more, with all his fellow Democrats piling on, who is left to defend the hapless indefensible Weiner? Well, there is always fellow Congressman Charlie Rangel. Jon Stewart does a great Rangel imitation. Though Rangel does have several good points: "He doesn't go with prostitutes. He hasn't molested little boys. He doesn't do a wide stance in an airport bathroom." Well, yeah.

Of course, this week yet more naked photos of Weiner and his proud "stance" were revealed, photos taken in the House members-only gym locker room. I wonder if those photos were from the security cameras that show Weiner taking pictures of his weener? Talk about strange.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

From Denny: This week Gifford's staff put up on her facebook page more recent photos of her. These photos reveal a still vibrant woman with a healthy glow. What is so amazing is she just underwent yet another surgery. This time it was to replace part of her skull that had previously been removed months ago to allow the brain to swell from its injuries.

Good news! Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords (D-AZ) is recovering at a rapid rate that astonishes and gladdens her doctors. To those of us - by the millions - who have prayed for her health and well being, this is proof positive how prayer works. Prayer is about giving energy to others when their energy is ebbing or weak. She looks wonderful!

The above photo of her as a blonde was taken 18 months ago in January 2010. The following two photos were taken just recently in June 2011. Her hair has had a chance to grow out a bit from having been shaved for brain surgery months ago. Had it not been for the life-saving measures taken by her aide at the moment of the shooting she would not have been with us today.

Always glad to post some Good News! We wish you many more years of health and happiness, Gabrielle Giffords.

Gabby posing for a portrait a mere 6 months after shooting and brain surgery

Gabby with unidentified friend in June 2011

Hear from Giffords' friend DNC Chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz about how well she is doing now:

* Check out Dennys News Politics Comedy Science Arts & Food - a place where all my other 20 blogs link so you can choose from among the latest posts all in one place. A free to read online newspaper from independent journalist blogger Denny Lyon. *

*** THANKS for visiting, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, enjoy bookmarking this post on your favorite social site, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers – and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!

Friday, June 10, 2011

From Denny: This poor schmuck is beginning to look sympathetic. It's like everyone is piling on, OK, dumping on him, everything they are angry about in life. Right now, with a down economy and no relief in sight, that's considerable.

It's like there is this ninth grade mentality that has taken over the media, screaming the crudest headlines in the newspapers, TV and online news. Check out the ridiculous photos of the Weinergate scandal.

Meanwhile, the comics are lampooning his stupid Twitter antics. Sadly, comic Jon Stewart is good friends with Weiner and feels betrayed after trying to defend Weiner.

When the Weiner scandal first broke I figured it was just more toxic politics in an election year and I ignored it. Then it drug on and the media carried it on the nightly news incessantly. I caught a CNN interview with Weiner and knew immediately he was lying and that he had, in fact, sent the photos and they were his photos.

He did not admit it in the interview but rather dodged the questions. It was his body language that gave him away. A few days later he finally admitted out loud what was true. Hey, at least he's a bad liar. That's the good news for a politician.

His friend, comic Jon Stewart, is furious with him for lying about it and making his friends look like idiots for defending him. And, that, my favorite guy Jon Stewart, is why you don't jump on the media bandwagon until the story is fully told and we all know the complete truth of the matter.

That said, I'm not happy with my Democrats for throwing this guy under the bus. Where were they when the Republicans were guilty of the same sophomoric behavior? Acting like mute swans in most cases, just gliding by and hoping no one noticed.

Hey, get out and defend this hapless guy. Slap him with a morals charge fine and a Get Out Of Media Jail Card once he repents and promises never to be so utterly stupid and childish ever again. And threaten to throw him out of Congress if he doesn't shape up. And while you are it tell him to quit taking those steroids.

People make really dumb fails in life and this was Weiner's worst moment. Lady Karma has a way of getting people to finally come to their senses and do better by exposing them to public ridicule. Weiner should have listened to Lady Karma instead of The Little Man that kept popping up for attention.

Lady Karma wins and The Little Man now must give up his Twitter account. In the end, forgiveness has to rule the day. We all can't stay angry at the guy forever. Even his own district voters want him to remain in office, by a margin of 56 percent in favor of him.

Bring Weiner back into the fold of the Democratic Party - at least on probation - and get down to the business of running the country's government.

Meanwhile, check out the funny jokes from the late night comics. After all, political sex scandals are endless fascination for comedians. What is more weird are the crazy weird news headlines of which here are some of the photos.

From Conan O'Brien:

Weiner was communicating with was a porn star. When asked how it was possible to get involved with someone in such a sleazy business, the porn star said, 'I don't know.'

Congressman Weiner is in a lot of trouble since he tweeted those pictures. But good news for him, he just found out he'll be allowed to keep his porn name ... Anthony Weiner.

51 percent of New York voters think Congressman Weiner should keep his seat in office. The other 49 percent think that he should disinfect it.

Congressman Weiner reportedly called Bill Clinton to apologize for his behavior. After Bill suggested that Weiner also call Hillary, Weiner said, 'Don't worry, I sent her a text.'

"Donald Trump said Anthony Weiner is a psycho. So look for him on the next season of 'Celebrity Apprentice.'

From Jimmy Kimmel:

Anthony Weiner admitted to sending inappropriate messages to several women via Twitter, text, email, and Facebook. I think the lesson here is that if you're going to send explicit pictures of yourself, send them through MySpace, where no one will notice.

Anthony Weiner admitted to sending inappropriate messages to several women via Twitter, text, email, and Facebook. I think the lesson here is that if you're going to send explicit pictures of yourself, send them through MySpace, where no one will notice.

Despite the scandal, Weiner will not resign, saying he hasn't done anything illegal and this is not the most embarrassing photo of him that has ever surfaced. That would be his senior portrait from high school. Weiner's high school portrait was taken at one of the rare moments when he wasn't being stuffed into the garbage can.

From Jon Stewart:

What?! The congressman had a sex scandal and had to apologize to Bill Clinton? For what?! Copyright infringement? Jon Stewart on Anthony Weiner calling to apologize to Bill Clinton, who officiated at his wedding

You want me to cut my wrist again? Is that what you people do when watching this show? Are you people f*cking right now? – Jon Stewart, responding to news that "The Daily Show" figured into Anthony Weiner's sexual exchanges with a Las Vegas blackjack dealer

The most upsetting thing about having a friend caught up in a scandal of this nature is finding out A) he's packin' jumbo heat, and B) that he's ripped.

I'm not certain of a lot of things. But there are three things in this world that I know for certain: Empire Strikes Back is the best Star Wars movie. OJ killed those people. And what my erect penis looks like in my own underwear from a bird's-eye view. – Jon Stewart, on Rep. Anthony Weiner's claim that he "can't say with certitude" whether a photo posted on his Twitter account of a man wearing just boxer shorts was actually him.

In real life, in my memory, this guy had a lot more 'Anthony' and a lot less 'Weiner.' … The only thing they have in common is that they both lean to the extreme left! – Jon Stewart, on allegations that Rep. Anthony Weiner, a former housemate of Stewart's, sent out a crotch photo from his Twitter account

This Twitter is somethin' else. You know, in the old days, a congressman had to chisel images of his penis on limestone.

From Jimmy Fallon:

Democrats in Congress have been distancing themselves from the Anthony Weiner scandal. Just to be safe, everyone is staying a good 6 to 8 inches away at all times.

There has been growing pressure for Anthony Weiner to resign. When asked for a comment, Weiner said, "Look, I'm not leaving ... but I am packing.

It's official. It turns out it was Weiner's weiner. At a press conference this afternoon, Congressman Anthony Weiner admitted that he tweeted out that photo of his crotch. During the press conference, Congressman Weiner was choked up and got a lump in this throat – not as big as the lump in his underwear, but still, very emotional!

It's been a tough week for him. He's lost so much support, and he had to buy a second pair of underwear too. I'm just glad he had the balls to admit his mistake.

From David Letterman:

I don't know if laws were broken or not, but Weiner was sending around pictures of him in his underpants and I thought, Well, now, wait a minute, what is the big deal? Don't men and women in Congress get to mail their packages for free?!

More trouble for Anthony Weiner: He was fired as the voice of the Aflac duck.

When there's trouble, you can always tell who your friends are. And this poor guy, Anthony Weiner, is getting no support from nobody. Except, you know who's supporting Anthony Weiner? Newt Gingrich. Today, Newt Gingrich sent him a $10,000 cell phone case from Tiffany’s.

Sociologists have documented this. Here are the stages of a scandal: First you have the denial, then you have the tearful confession, then it's resignation, and then you appear on 'Dancing With the Stars.'

"How about that Congressman Weiner? This is the worst congressional scandal all week." –David Letterman

"Weiner says no matter how many photos of him in his underpants surface, he is not stepping down. I said, wow, this looks like a job for Leno." –David Letterman

Weiner wanted to be Mayor of New York City. Good luck with that. Governor, sure.

David Letterman's "Top Ten Questions to Ask Before Tweeting a Photo of Yourself"

10. "Is this my best side?"
9. "Will this get me more followers?"
8. "Should I put it on Facebook instead?"
7. "Do I have a last name that would make this especially embarrassing?"
6. "Would it be more personal to fax everyone photos?"
5. "What's the point if James Arness is no longer alive to see it?"
4. "Is there a better way to show people I’m Jewish?"
3. "What would Brett Favre do?"
2. "Isn't this what Twitter’s for?"
1. "What could possibly go wrong?"

From Jay Leno:

This is why Twitter exists. Members of Congress can now send you pictures of their penises electronically. Remember the old days of Senator Larry Craig when you had to get in your car, drive to the airport, find the airport bathroom, try to figure out which stall he's in, knock on the door...Now they send it right to your house.

Yesterday President Obama welcomed German Chancellor Angela Merkel to the White House. One embarrassing moment when Merkel got a phone call from a certain New York congressman asking if she'd like to see his wienerschnitzel.

Congressman Weiner has admitted that he did carry on explicit online relationships with six different women. Well, he thought they were women. Turns out three were woman, one was a guy pretending to be a woman, and the other two were congressmen.

People wonder why Weiner engaged in such reckless behavior. If you wanted people to check out your crotch, go to the airport and go through security like everybody else.

Of course, Weiner is now desperately trying to make things better with his wife. You can tell he's sorry. Like today he sent her a picture of his penis with a little sad face on it.

Congressman Anthony Weiner, now known as the peter tweeter, held a big press conference at a hotel in New York City where he admitted to everything. You see him standing in front of that microphone? I think it was a microphone.

This is why Twitter exists. Members of Congress can now send you pictures of their penises electronically. Remember the old days of Senator Larry Craig when you had to get in your car, drive to the airport, find the airport bathroom, try to figure out which stall he's in, knock on the door...Now they send it right to your house.

A second woman has come forward now. She says she has over 200 explicit sex messages from the married congressman. She says they're very short messages. Like cocktail wieners.

He said there were six girls in three years, but he never had sex with any of them. Six girls in three years and no sex. You know what I call that? High school.

Weiner's beautiful wife Huma – she’s a beautiful woman if you’ve seen her – she is an aide for Hillary Clinton. I guess Hillary called Huma to console her while Anthony Weiner go a call from Bill going 'Yeah!'

The Anthony Weiner scandal shows that despite the wars and the economy, we’re all really still in 9th grade.

With all this new media, is that considered junk e-mail? Or is it e-mail of your junk? There are so many terms!

It shows you how the political race has changed. Remember it wasn't that long ago when candidates would ask 'Where’s the beef?' You can’t ask that now!

And I love the way the media reports the story. They say this whole thing started when a lewd photo of a man's crotch was sent to one of Congressman Weiner's Twitter followers. Do they even have to say 'lewd.' I mean, are there tasteful photos of men's crotches?

Jokes from NPR's "Wait Wait…Don't Tell Me!"

The question is – why can't Congressman Anthony Weiner say with certitude if the crotch in question is his or not? Because he’s got so many crotch shots lying around, maybe one got away? Maybe he's been taking a picture of his crotch every hour for a month, to create one of those cool YouTube time lapse videos?

Congressman Weiner said the photo leak was a prank, he’s a victim, the picture could be taken out of context? In what possible context would you take this picture? Maybe he meant to send it to his Doctor, with the message, "Okay, it's been four hours, time to get you involved."

From Craig Ferguson:

The list of women who got sexy pics from Anthony Weiner keeps growing. As of now it's a porn star, a single mom from Texas, a blackjack dealer, and a student from Seattle. Is this a sex scandal of the next cast of Survivor? 'Survivor: Weiner Island.'

Today the porn star in question – talking about Anthony Weiner – apparently he tried to get her to lie about the messages he sent. But she refused. Good! I'd hate to think a porn star would degrade herself by taking orders from a Congressman.

But I have to ask this: What kind of world are we living in when porn stars make Weiners go down?' It's reverse world!

Weiner admitted to sending underpants photos of himself. It’s a huge political scandal. Arnold Schwarzenegger even called Weiner to say, 'Thank you.'

Congressman Weiner's Twitter account was hacked 'allegedly,' and someone texted a picture of his 'junior senator' to a college girl. Now this is good news for me because I can Google 'wiener photos' at work and not get fired.

From Stephen Colbert:

Democrats don't share our values. An elected official is tweeting dirty photos of himself to strange women who he never meets for sex? Come on! At least Republican Chris Lee was trying to get some action! Republican politicians are man enough to hit that thing. Ensign, Vitter, even when it's a gay scandal! They're not tweeting love letters. They're tearing up an airport bathroom until somebody calls the cops on them!

I mean, call me old fashioned. But I long for simpler times and common sense values. I want to leave our grandchildren an America where Congressmen bang their secretaries. Sorry if there's no app for that.

I see only two options here: Either Anthony Weiner has too many photos of his junk to keep track of, or 'Certitiude' is his nickname for his penis.

* Check out Dennys News Politics Comedy Science Arts & Food - a place where all my other 20 blogs link so you can choose from among the latest posts all in one place. A free to read online newspaper from independent journalist blogger Denny Lyon. *

*** THANKS for visiting, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, enjoy bookmarking this post on your favorite social site, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers – and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!

Thursday, June 9, 2011

From Denny: Would we expect any less from Gingrich? The guy can't stay married. The guy can't make a commitment in a campaign he is so busy flip-flopping, trying to figure out if he is a liberal conservative or a conservative hypocritical liberal. You decide.

Well, today a whole wolf pack of his top aides said "Goodbye and Good Riddance!" to the Newt. After all, any political strategist that wants the paychecks to keep rolling in would not bet on Newtie to make it past the first 30 days.

Of course, there is all the usual nice talk claiming this or that. The reality is that this guy is hard to live with and difficult to shut up. Newt is clueless as how to run a campaign or act in a campaign. He keeps harping back to the good ol' days when he could fool people with his lies. The problem is that now those same people are 30 years older and 30 years wiser to his double-dealing tricks.

If you are going to be a lyin' cheatin' skunk you must come up with new ways to do it for the next generation - just to keep up the interest factor, don't you know. It's sort of like the financial derivatives market. Keep the scheme going with a new PR scheme for putting lipstick on the same pig. Guess the Newtie aides ran out of lipstick for their political pig, threw up their hands and stormed out of the campaign offices.

Just which guys left The Newt? It pretty well looks like they cleaned out the campaign offices with a big broom.

Rob Johnson, campaign manager
his press secretary
top strategists in New Hampshire and South Carolina
six staff members in Iowa and Perdue

From Dave Carney, one of those senior aides who resigned: "The professional team came to the realization that the direction of the campaign they sought and Newt's vision for the campaign were incompatible."

Gee, "do ya think?" The reality is that Newtie wanted to take time off the campaign trail whenever he felt like it. The campaign guys told him he had to actually work at getting elected.

And then there was the thorny issue of whether ol' Newtie could actually raise enough money to pay his staffers on time. Ouch!

Said one of the staffers: "There is a shortage of money. It is a tough day and a tough world out here in the fund raising and political arena."

Yet another amusing reality is that it's high time the Obama Justice Department get serious about investigating ol' Newtie on his use of campaign funds. Don't you find it just a bit curious that once he raised just enough funds he went on a two week vacation with the current wife?

Did he use the campaign funds to fund his vacation? Where are the WikiLeaks guys when they could make themselves useful for a change? Somehow, Gingrich did not have enough money to pay his staffers? Hmmmm... sure looks suspicious to me - and so early in the campaign season.

Well, at least Newtie still plans on attending the debate in New Hampshire come Monday. That sure will be imploding entertainment. Stay tuned. The campaign season is just getting as heated up as the scorching summer.

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