I don't really like the word blog, but it seems pointless to fight it, Zis is a blog.
If you want to know more about an Algerian girl who lives in London and struggles with thoughts that are beyond the remits of her understanding, stories of society and social climbers of love and deception and of a status of seemingly eternal singlehood, then you are in the right place...

Thursday, 8 March 2012

Drama mama!

We girls love a bit of drama; we create it, crave it, we thrive on it. Very lucky few are drama-free. I am of course; a major drama queen but not very proud of it, although it could be endearing to a very crazy few, I myself rarely find it funny and more often than not, will try to share my issues with my male friends more than with girls, in an attempt at soaking up that drama-free attitude and dismissing none-issues with a shrug of the shoulders.
Girls are saved for the days when I am not prepared to snap out of it and the need to dwell on things is ever present, so my girlfriends will listen to my non-issue issues and cry outrage and disgust, fuelling my already high emotions, I weep, their eyes water a little, we group hug, share a drink, a cigarette or chocolate cake and call everybody a bastard, men, bosses, men and that annoying paper boy with his City AM, shoving it in my face EVERY morning!

Drama 1
Oh my god, Sara didn’t put a kiss on her last text to me, do you think she hates me?
Drama 2
My boss didn’t make eye contact with me this morning, am getting fired aren’t I?
Drama 3
I have an itchy left boob, do you think I have cancer?
Drama 4
I though we really hit it off, why didn’t he text me, it’s been an hour already!

Don’t you just love to indulge your cravings for drama? It’s a way of shaking things up when life is a little dull, this Catastrophising makes you feel alive, drives away boys and keeps you young or at least juvenile, but a life without drama is not a life worth living. Say AMEN.

Now as a major drama queen who once cried (with tears and everything) out of fear of a cockroach, I shouldn’t be saying the following but I feel I need to balance it out a little and give you ways to avoid being a hypochondriac, a drama queen or a bitch…

- When you feel a drama moment arising, only hang out with boys, you’ll soon feel ridiculous

- Think of the worst that could happen: if a guy doesn’t text you, just think he might have died of Co2 poisoning in his bathtub or has tripped on his oversized ego and fell into his empty hole of a soul – harsh? Nonsense, it’s wickedly therapeutic.

- “sniff sniff everything happens to me, the only skirt left is a size 8 and doesn’t fit by big bum” …. Context it all and think of someone you know who has cancer or hasn’t had a job in five years! You’ll soon resize your problems appropriately and snap out of your short lived drama

- Do try to snap out of it quickly by crying it out, if you can’t, then you may lash out at your close friends, they’ll take it, especially the boys, tears always confuse them.

- Do not listen to melancholic music that pushes you further into self-pity, like Adele and what not, on which let me tell you, she should have told them all to jog on but no fingers required! I was quite disappointed in her diva attitude; she’s another drama queen you see…

- Don’t go through your whole contact list and call them one by one, in search of more pity and attention – it gets tedious and I will be washing my hair.

- And remember boys almost all prefer drama-free…

The point of this post you ask? Well it’s a funny story really… Sara does hate me, I might actually be fired and there is a lump in my breast. The only non dramatic thing is that guy did text after an hour and half and I decided I didn’t like him.

Been sulking like a little girl! Why did you miss me? Why wouldn't the girls agree! Of course they would :)It's international Womens day and I give them my blessings to be total drama mamas on this day, let the men freak out!

Gosh! plein dans le mille. Very true unfortunately, I hate to admit I am a drama queen, not really sure I am by choice though...Sometimes you can't help it: hormones, stress, life and mostly because of men...grrr men. Sometimes I think Algerian girls have been brought up that way, all women around us are drama queens. Well, we might go a little over the top sometimes but ALL women are whther they like it or not darama queens.

To go back on your comment about boys liking drama-free, I do agree but oddly I believe they secretly like it because it makes them feel important? To debate...

Stop being paranoid!!!!! If you have a lump on your breast, go see a doctor and it’s probably nothing. “You might get fired"??!! Everyone “might get fired” and sometimes it’s a good thing!! Sara hates you? If you didn’t see it coming, then either you were a total bitch with her and you didn’t care to see it or she decided that she doesn’t like you just like you did with that guy who did txt you, or maybe you’re being paranoid again and she’s too busy with her life and liking or not liking you is not one of her priorities and it should definitely NOT be one of yours either!! Now I suggest you let the good things happen to you for a change!! You should txt this guy…believe in yourself (which I’m sure you do) and let the good and the happy things happen to you….do not rush to interpret situations (mostly in a negative way) and…”Don’t worry be happy”A Self-fulfillment prophecy: A prediction that comes true entirely because people believe it and act on that basis.

One more thing....It is true though that when we cry and they freak out, it is very funny how they react…total panic!!! I do it when I’m bored sometimes!! Hehe! loll

Look at it the other way :1) If you get fired, you could go back to Algeria, find your soulmate, get married and live a happy life thereafter close to dad-mom-bros and sis;2) You don't need Sara's love;3) You don't need that man's attention either (or do you?)

But please have that lump checked by your doctor if it persists (it could just be a hormone-induced cyst).

DZ chick, it's our magical ability to unexpectedly and randomly to turn a simple situation into drama that keeps men in line, otherwise can you imagine how they d behave: I ll cancel on her tonight, she won't mind. I ll text her later, she ll understand and do on.

As for the guy, keep his number, u might want to call him when ur boss (who probably texted a girl and she didnt reply) fires u over slapping Sara (who s probably on edge coz she thought she d hit it off with a guy who didn't text her, and it's been an HOUR). All in all, as long as the lump is nothing, all will work out just fine.

Now here is to the 8th March, am gona go and throw a tantrum for an absolutely no reason whatsoever x

Ah...drama queens... Can't live with them, can't live without them. Do guys secretly love DQ? Not at all ! So why do they stick around during a tantrum or patiently listen to some tearful paranoid delusion or calmly swat the teeny tiny spider with a newspaper instead of screaming at it from atop a chair?It's the hoped for promise of a reward I think. Show a little chivalry, have a clean hanky for the tears, offer a shoulder and a hug and guess what happens? - all nookie problems out of the way for the next little while. Of course not always but men are incurably hopeful in that regard. Anyway, loved the post ! (and agree with blue... Don't mess about with odd lumps, doctors can do that so much better!)F

Anonymous I tend to agree with that too, men do like a bit of drama in their lives, they secretly all like a high maintenance girl, not over the top, but every now and then, you have to throw a tantrum to keep him surprised lol ahh bless their cotton socks! But your theory about men liking girly dramas to feel important, could also be true in many cases!

Blue I am not paranoid! It’s a story! Don’t take everything I write to the letter! ;)

Anonymous1) If I get fired, I will get a pay-off and most probably move back to Algeria2) I don’t need Sara’s love no – it’s like a holiday actually3) Not at the moment, all is peachy but it’s a natural thing no?

GMA You don’t think I am a drama queen? Ha! Et pourtant.

Anonymous very funny.

formosa Men love drama queens and high maintenance chicks! It makes stay on their toes! The rest I don’t know! The rewards are always great when you swat that bee or spider away!

Very interesting subjects on your blog, DZ-Chick; I should read more of your previous and future stuff; this is becoming like the El Dorado treasure chest (so to speak) for a single Algerian girl living in the UK, like me. I have not read yet the one on Algerian men-women relations but I look forward to do so. I am not sure if more female or male actually do read and contribute to your blogs; it could be socioligically interesting to know.

That said, on the subject of "drama queen", my take on it is that the very word "Drama Queen" is clearly a man's term, as, if it was a woman who coined that expression, describing another woman's emotional state, no matter how "masculine" that woman is, she would not use such a term at the time. She would probably use terms like "upset", "very emotional", "not well", "bothered by something", "needs company", "needs to talk/share", "needs comforting".

Furthermore, men also can be "drama queens"; sexual orientation aside, they do have their tantrums but mainly when confronted by a bigger, stronger, smarter or more successful man (which is often!): from personal experience, I have observed that the self-proclaimed "alpha males" or "silver backs" (note analogy with gorillas!) have their voice reach concord/supersonic decibel highs and their arms becoming those of a fast circus juggler on a mix of Viagra and Red Bull, as soon as their ego is perceived to be under threat or actually attacked BY MEN and especially in front of WOMEN -that last combination of factor is a major drama booster!

This is especially true -but not uniquely- of Algerian men (whether back home or here in the UK, or anywhere on the planet for that matter): an Algerian man should never be seen to be below par in terms of "redjla" (manhood, being "man"-like -whatever the **** that is!). You just poke a bit there, at the right time, in front of the right crowd and with the right intensity and you have "Drama of an Imperial Magnitude" (DIM); 9 on the Rechta* scale!

In fact, I wonder why institutional theatrical culture has not picked up back home as there is a whole lot of talent there when it comes to dramatisation. Men would be taking the lead roles, "naturally", and Sheikh Zoubir plays (Shakespeare to the anglophiles) would make a killing there: "to be or not to be; dez m'3ahoum" (sorry to non-Algerian readers, please get an Algerian friend to translate the last expression for you).

Fehla Ou Nouss

* : a delicious Algiers/north-centre of Algeria dish made out of flat noodles and a white chicken sauce (or, as we say, Rechta bel merka wel djedj!). I cook a great Rechta, by the way!

Love them all ! So very true, and good to see it all being put out there ! Haven't read them all yet but my favourites so far are the dramatic girls and valentine's day ! There should be a book of these published !