Movie News for Scream 4, The Iceman, and Twilight!

I can’t believe it’s considered news that there’s a title treatment for Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part One. But don’t worry, if it’s considered news and worthy of your attention, I’ll give it to you.
This just in: It IS considered newsworthy for women to see my weewee. So I guess I’ll have to give it to you.

Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part One

So here’s the title treatment for Twilight: Breaking Wind Part One, which is apparently just what the title is going to look like on posters and the credits. NEWS.

Scream 4

There’s a new trailer for Scream 4. I’m disappointed. Too much midget from Heroes. Not enough of her getting stabbed. You know what would be funny? If they they made the film about ice cream. Get it? Cause I sceam, you scream, we all scream for…

Never mind. Troglodytes.

Julian Assange

Who is Julian Assange? I don’t follow the news, unless it’s related to movies, porn, or waffles. Well, apparently he started something called Wikileaks, which is, as far as I know, a porn about Wikipedia, and Hollywood wants to make a movie about his life. I bet this will be the Social Network for a new generation.

The Iceman

The Iceman, which is not about the X-Man, has cast Michael Shannon, James Franco, and Benicio Del Toro. The film is about a mob hitman who used to freeze the bodies of his victims to throw the police off the trail. He was apparently quite the sicko, as he had a normal family life when not killing folks. So there’ll be the whole dual identity thing going on, so it’ll be half mob story, half Batman. Sounds awesome.

A Star is Born

This just pisses me off. It appears that Clint Eastwood will be directing a film version of the Broadway musical A Star is Born, starring Beyonce. I don’t care that the fuckwads in Hollywood want to pretend that Beyonce is talented, but don’t ruin Clint Eastwood for me. Man with no name? More like man with no SHAME. SNAPDRAGON.