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This Week on DVD and Blu-ray: Two Doctors, One Scorpion King

This week on DVD and Blu-ray brings us a British Invasion, with two different Doctors, the lads from Primeval, and Jason Statham’s ball-peen head waiting to infect your home theater. Also, George Lucas when he was good, Kevin Costner when he was wet, and undead Rick Springfield.

Jan. 10 video releases:

Killer Elite (DVD and Blu-ray)
Listen, it’s got Jason Statham in it. That should be all you need to know. He will probably kick someone in the nards with a grimace and a well-timed “Oi.” Really, he’s one of the last cinematic things you can count on to deliver, every time. Bonus: Clive Owen rocks a pornstache.

Doctor Who: The Android Invasion (Story 83) and Doctor Who: Invasion of the Dinosaurs (Story 71) (DVD)
I will freely admit that Doctor Who, for me, begins with Christopher Eccleston. I just can’t swing the old school. A personal failing, to be sure. But if that’s your bag, and you’re a crazy completist, then you’re going to want to add these Tom Baker and Jon Pertwee adventures to your collection.

Primeval: Volume Three (DVD & Blu-ray)
Temporally displaced beasties threaten the people of England and it falls to the scientist-heroes of the Anomaly Research Center to stop them toot bloody sweet. FYI: This oddly titled Volume Three actually includes Seasons Four and Five. Just so you know.

The Scorpion King 3: Battle for Redemption (DVD & Blu-ray)
I’m sure I’m not the only one who lost track of the fact that they were still making Scorpion King movies. But, hey, a deposed scorpion king — who now freelances as an assassin — has got to make a buck, right? While The Rock won’t even be in the same time zone as SK3, the first two names on the bill are Billy Zane and Ron Perlman, so this is all but guaranteed to be a pulptastic crapfest.

American Graffiti (Blu-ray)
Remember when George Lucas was a real director? I know, it’s hard. But this sweet elegy for a bygone era — when all a fella needed to meet the girl of his dreams was a tuned ride and time to cruise the strip — betrays a deftness of character that Lucas would forget how to achieve, post-Temple of Doom.

The Green Mile (Blu-ray)
While not as cohesive as Frank Darabont’s first adaptation of a prison-set Stephen King story–that’d be The Shawshank Redemption–The Green Mile still features some fantastic performances and Michael Clarke Duncan as a giant black dude (his specialty) who heals people with mystical mouth bugs.

Waterworld (Blu-ray)
Not as bad as you remember. Honestly. Yes, there are some incredibly clunky elements to this Kevin Costner flick. But there’s also a whole lot of pulpy fun to be had. And Dennis Hopper is off in his own world, which may or may not have water. Or sanity.

Gladiator/Nick Knight Double Feature
Never mind Gladiator (which is neither the Russell Crowe flick nor the Cuba Gooding Jr. boxing movie), Nick Knight stars Rick Springfield — yes, that Rick Springfield — as a vampire detective. It’s the kind of cheese that should really be wedged between two slices of bread and grilled ever so slightly.