Funniest thingever happened today! I thought another player that was Asian on our team was nishi!! I asked him how his English was and [he] said “it’s great man, how r u?” then i looked at him like he was crazy… Then he was like I’m not nishi matter of fact I’m from Kansas city lol … I laughed but I was so embarrassed. He was a good sport about lol

Here’s a confession: I have a hard time telling ballplayers apart. No, not Asian ballplayers or Latino ballplayers or black ballplayers. Just ballplayers. I’m so conditioned from watching games on television to expect to see closeups of them with either their names on their jerseys or as a graphic underneath them — or, at the very least, with them standing at their position — that there are some non-superstars who have been around the game a long time that I probably couldn’t identify simply by looking at their face, even if they’re in uniform.

Out of context, even some bigger names might be difficult. If Chris Carpenter or C.J. Wilson sat down next to me at a bar, I’d probably not realize who they were, partially because of the improbability field created by a ballplayer sitting down next to me, probably because they’re out of uniform and thus all of the contextual clues are gone.

People are prone to suggestion, overt or otherwise. Span surely doesn’t know all of the Twins’ NRIs on the first day of camp. If he had been thinking “must meet our new Asian infielder,” and then saw Chang taking ground balls, it makes perfect sense that his brain would click “that’s Nishi.”

I know where you’re coming from, Craig. I helped out with coaching my son’s youth football team and the kids had helmets on practically the entire practice. Took me a couple a weeks to learn who was who without helmets. They didn’t necessarily all look alike with the helmets on, but once you replaced the lid with hair, they took on a different appearance.

I think ballplayers look completely different once they take their hats off. I probably could only recognize a handful of them hatless. It is quite a transformation. Take Chase Utley. With his hat on, he looks like your standard run of the mill ball player. He takes his hat off and I see that slicked back, greasy hair, he looks like your standard run of the mill douchebag. Perhaps both are true, but the transformation is scary.

I was convinced that David Freese was black until I saw a picture of him. I realized I was confusing him with Joe Thurston. They’re not at all similar. This type of confusion occurs with me too frequently.

My memory’s a little hazy, but I recall sharing drinks with three pro ballplayers: Steve Carlton, Miguel Batista, and Ray Chang. Ray used to date a friend of a friend, and he also like to pound shots and have his alter ego “Yar” come out. Fun guy.