- BLOG -

Life can change in an instant. Some of these changes are small, barely noticeable to the outside world. Some are huge and alter everything around you. If you're lucky, these changes are good and lead to a happier existence than you had before. Of course, how many of us have that kind of luck? Sure, we all have moments that lead to bigger and better things, but the reality of life is this: it's an uphill battle fought during a nor'easter. But the sweet relief that comes after is (almost) always worth the struggle.

​Bugger. At least until the finish line.

This week I stopped by Men's Warehouse, waited patiently in line with my receipt. When the smiling happy person asked if I needed help, I said yes. Refund please. Shrink and Geek will not be getting married this weekend. No, they have not had the fight to end all fights (and till death relationships). As fans of my page may know, Shrink's mommy was admitted to Devil's Hospital (named such due to my belief one must sell their eternal soul to the big guy downstairs to get a job at the city-sized overrated street clinic). After complaining about pains for longer than she should have ignored them, she was rushed to the hospital by a nervous Shrink and her (now in feud with) daddy.

I think we can all understand the reason for postponing the nuptials, no?

And with the extra stress, comes more and more arguments (we're talking more epic than Goose v Duck here folks). Shrink if in full-on freak out mode as she rampages through SICU, scaring the medical training out of half the staff. Geek as taken to the receding within one's self stratagem. Unfortunately, Shrink takes that as I don't give a fuck suck a cold shoulder attitude. Neither are too happy with the other (according to Shrink. I haven't heard much from Geek besides the you can get a full refund for the tux text message/phone call combo days ago).

Six and Nine are no more. Who’d of guessed that one, right?

Six found it hard to keep faithful to someone who did not at all seem give much of a shit about him. So he cheated and cheated and cheated some more. Slutty Six. Nine was never the wiser. Silly Nine. In the end, it was not one of Six's flings that came (pun) between them, not even his repeat fun time Anarchy (his favorite partner in adultery). Nine just kept getting colder and more distant. And then, deciding his life was too hectic for a one on one thing, he broke it off.

Sound familiar? Think Scout and Nine both majored in Cunt-Kicking? Cause that's what this bullshit line is: a swift kick to the sac.

Speaking of my former masturbation hole, I finally got around to hitting the most lovely of buttons the internet ever created: Unfriend. Yes, yes, the break up is finally official. And that last step away from the shit storm that was Scout and I felt oh so wonderful. I don't know why it was such a great moment in the post-Scout era. I had already deleted pictures and numbers. And while I should have parted ways on Facebook long ago, it hung there in the air, like a dead fly on the windshield one is too lazy to wipe off. I had even deleted the “Dear John” letters I had received, informing me of our ended relationship. Nice way to dump some, isn't it? After being away for over four months, the first thing I was wanting to hear was miss you, let's fuck. Instead, I got buh bye. You know what, babe? Go back to prison (yes, that is why my loving ex was out of state since February. Prison.

Why'd I stay with that cum dumpster?

Anyway, after seeing some ridiculous status updates (many of which were just random letters lumped together that, when spoken out loud, make nothing more than clunky sounds). And as I looked at those waste of stream space, I couldn't help but wonder what the fuck I'd been thinking when I fucked this loser not once, not twice but over and over and committed myself to the insanity that was a broken and twisted WE.

Won't be doing that again for a while.

Yea, so its been a lot of shit hitting fan around these here parts; Shrink's mommy and Six's break up. But things are slowly improving. Shrink's mommy is better now than when she arrived at Devil's Hospital and was even de-tubed. Yea! And even with all the fighting our happyish couple are doing (and not doing as one of them is perfecting the silent treatment) they are still looking to the future – together.

Six is sailing away from the fun that was Nine and not by landing at every port he sees. Six still loves Sex, but he's decided to wean himself off it, for a little while. At least until he is fully his old self again.

I am just happy to be fully rid of Scout. I'd throw a party if I had the booze.

Everything must end. No matter how amazing or hell-spawn shitty, there is that point when you look back and can see all there ever could be. It can be hard (when that situation is akin to Shrink and Geek's) to look past the here and now and take solace in the fact that, much like Six now, the time will come when the act ends, the performers meet up on stage and take a bow before running backstage and changing for the whole new scenes coming up after the break. Life's a bitch in need of a good fuck and extra strength Midol and sometimes it's a slosh through knee high dog shit to get where we want to be. For Six, it's all about looking inward. For Shrink and Geek, it's a bit more complicated. But as mommy gets better, so will they. And by the time the do their I do's, there won't be any question that those words are meant wholeheartedly.

And than maybe they can have what all fighter's deserve: a warrior's welcome into Heaven on Earth.