The holiday
madness has begun. Reindeer, ornaments, wreaths -- they're everywhere, and it
isn't even Thanksgiving yet! When I see these decked-out shops and street
corners, I can feel the panic creeping up inside me. I haven't even made a list
of all the people for whom I need a gift!

I tell myself that the early advertisements are strictly for marketing purposes
and not a direct threat to my emotional well-being, but the anxiety prevails.

I
remember a time when the season wasn't so hectic. Our family would concentrate
on one holiday at a time. Thanksgiving was given its due before any thoughts of
Christmas began. We still made out little gift lists -- parents, grandparents,
siblings, friends -- but the list was manageable and affordable. The expectations
weren't so high, and we did our shopping all in one day, usually just a few
days before Christmas. The lights, the music, the bustle -- all were a part of
the anticipation of a wonderful day. Now, we rush to Black Friday, often
endangering our lives (or at least parts of our body) as we dodge shopping
carts and frenzied buyers, frantically pushing through for those beloved "Door
Busters."

A
couple of years ago, I ventured in to Walmart to pick up a few things that had
been advertised in the sales paper. I couldn't get a cart (I was an hour late),
and most of the items were gone. In the
process, I had to run interference for a little old lady who was stranded. "I
just wanted to pick up a few groceries," she cried in a meek little frightened
voice.

"This
is ridiculous!" I said, as I managed to get her through the aisle and to a
register. "Now, I'll just wait for your buggy if that's OK," I smiled
apologetically.

Once
I had the buggy, I marched on; this time I, too, was armed!" Move out of the
way," I thought as I proceeded to the toy section. Just when I was making a bit
of progress, "Bam!" my right elbow and arm were being dragged along by a woman
with a crazed expression on her face.

"My
arm!" I screamed, but to no avail. Finally, the lady stopped when she ran
head-on into another shopper.

"This
is madness!" I said. "You practically took off my arm!"

"It's
every man for himself!" she exclaimed. "If you can't play with the big dogs,
get off the porch!"

I
just stared at her for a second. I was trying to remember my mother's words,
"If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."

"You're
a moron," I said, decidedly, abandoning all moral lessons from my childhood.

Thankfully,
she did not attack me but turned again to her quest of attaining that special
doll, Wii game, or whatever she was
after.

I
left the store soon after, and did not return for several days. People that
morning were buying things in quantities that they could not possibly use for
gifts -- I doubt they even knew that many people! I decided two things that day:
One, I'm too old to be getting into fights with morons; and two, the people on
my list would just have to settle for other, maybe not-so-sought-after gifts
from me. Holiday shopping should not warrant a
trip to the emergency room.

My
life has been simpler since I decided to forego the day-after-Thanksgiving
shopping madness, but I still have flashbacks and cringe a little whenever a shopping
cart gets too close.

Holidays
should be simpler. Thanksgiving should be a day to eat turkey, enjoy loved ones, and give thanks for all the things
we have that we probably don't deserve. And Christmas should not interfere!

Let's
make an effort this year to observe both holidays -- one at a time. Of course,
I'm saying this while I'm planning where my Christmas trees will go this year
and what ornaments I will need to buy. But, Black Friday will not be as black
this year because my dollars are staying home! Oh, but shopping on line should
not be too dangerous ...