call the HOA and tell them that Mexican Feather Grass is not a weed, it's a plant, and if I get one more fucking call about "weeds in my garden" I'm going to resort to tire slashing

also they need to stop wasting water in our neighborhood by shutting off the sprinklers when it rains

maybe by planting Mexican Feather Grass

smile sweetly

drive children to every possible location on the planet earth at the drop of a hat

be prepared to replace entire wardrobes at a moment's notice because I mated with a giant

sign up for all the UIL/PTO/booster clubs

duck out of volunteering for UIL/PTO/booster clubs because ain't nobody got time for that (by which I mean I am nobody)

host/plan all Holiday meals

have entire family history stored on the occasion that facts need to be recalled for [_blank_] reason

be charming

care for the stray ducklings that come to hide under my feathers on occasion

know where every item in the house is at any time because no one else knows how to find things, apparently

help plan future goals for children

help children ACHIEVE future goals

bolster husband's spirits because men apparently are WAY more delicate than I was led to believe, I'm looking at you John McClane

Yeah. Don't tell me that stay at home moms sit on our asses and have the easy life. This post brought to you by an seeming innocuous comment from my husband this morning about how he "just can't do everything around here, Laura," because I wanted him to call in about getting a repairman to fix the spa heater.

HEY THAT EMPTY NEST THING SOUNDS REALLY AWESOME HOW DO I SIGN UP. :D

Spock is:: amused

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Oh, and because I know you'd understand, I have to share this - my husband, who is currently out of work, just came in the room specifically to tell me that he had cleaned up the kitchen, expecting thanks and praise, no doubt. Um...okay? I do that three times a day an no one thanks me. Clean a bathroom and then I'll be impressed. ;-)

Are You Actually

Reading this? I'm just curious. Because that's really detail-oriented of you. Feel free to stop reading. But you can see that there's more here, so are you going to keep reading? Really? That's pretty dedicated. I'm impressed. No, really. I'm not being sarcastic, why do you get like that? See, this is the problem I have with your mother - yes. YES. I'm going there. It's time we put all of our cards on the table.

I love you, why are you doing this? After all we've been through? You don't have to be like this. You know, still reading. You could be baking a pie. And then sharing it with me.