Southren medical terms

Southern Medical Terms

Benign......................... What you be, after you be eight.
Artery......................... The study of paintings.
Bacteria....................... Back door to cafeteria.
Barium......................... What doctors do when patients die.
Caesarean Section............... A neighbourhood in Rome.
Catscan........................ Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize...................... Made eye contact with her.
Colic.......................... A sheep dog.
Coma........................... A punctuation mark.
D&C............................ Where Washington is.
Dilate......................... To live long.
Enema.......................... Not a friend.
Fester......................... Quicker than someone else.
Fibula......................... A small lie.
G.I. Series.................... World Series of military baseball.
Hangnail....................... What you hang your coat on.
Impotent....................... Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pain..................... Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff.................. A Doctor's cane.
Morbid......................... A higher offer.
Nitrates....................... Cheaper than day rates.
Node........................... I knew it.
Outpatient..................... A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear...................... A fatherhood test.
Pelvis......................... Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative................. A letter carrier.
Recovery Room.................. Place to do upholstery.
Rectum......................... Pretty near killed him.
Secretion...................... Hiding something.
Seizure........................ Roman emperor.
Tablet......................... A small table.
Terminal Illness............... Getting sick at the airport.
Tumour.......................... One plus one more.
Urine.......................... Opposite of you're out.
Varicose....................... Near by/close by

"We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid."
-Benjamin Franklin

"If the Good Lord wanted me to use percussion caps I reckon the river beds would be full of 'em for the takin"
Old flintlock shooter I met at the range.

In this day and age it is easier to stay stupid than it is to stay ignorant. I have had the misfortune to have encountered many informed idiots

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"The way of the warrior is death, this means choosing death whenever there is a choice between life and death. It means nothing more than this, it means to see things through, being resolved."---Yamamoto Tsunemoto's Hagakure