Hi there. I'm 33 and started having panic attacks after my first child when I was 22 y/o. I thought I was "CRAZY" so i didn't seek help at first. After a year of living like this and seeping into a terrible depression, I saw a dr. They put me on meds and had to raise it twice, but my life changed drastically. My gosh, I was so happy. Depression gone, irrational fears I use to have .......gone. Every now and then I got a little panicky, but nothing I couldn't handle and like I said, it was every now and then.

My life began to change when I turned 31. I had a full blown attack. It was so bad. I went from 2o mg of Lexapro to 40. Then they put me on wellbutrin 150 twice a day too. So I'm on all this medication and my life started to change again. Still a little anxiety every now and again.

I found out I was pregnant last year. I was very happy because we tried for so long. My mom, which was my best friend too, died suddenly. I felt that I was handling it quite good until 5 months later when it all of a sudden dawned on me she was gone. I missed my mommy! I started to panic. i started having terrible anxiety after that. I would shake constantly, I would literally have terrible feelings of going crazy and "I can't live like this or take this anymore" Feelings. I felt that i was at the end of my rope and alone. It finally disappeared. I had my sweet baby girl. My problem is my anxiety keeps coming back. It will disappear for a few weeks and come back and the same thing . I am on meds so why is this happening. Has it quit? Does this mean no other meds will help me anymore? I spoke to my dr. He thought that I was just going through so much that it was overriding the medicine even though it was still working. I'm hanging on but I feel like screaming and crying. My dr. doesn't give me any benzo's,, he just won't. I had to order them from Germany. I take it ONLY if I need them because I have a fear of getting hooked. I hear of all these people getting over this through cognitive therapy.....I just don't see how that can help. I don't want to be this way. I miss the happiness I use to have! I hate going back and forth with these emotions. I'm really starting to wonder if I'm not crazy and that scares me too. I just want to be normal. Any advice?

Welcome to HW, we are a very supportive environment here, I hope we can help you out. You are going through a great deal at the moment, Grief is a huge anxiety trigger, and a new baby too. That's a lot to deal with. I really don't know if medications just "quit" working, but sometimes the dose needs to be changed.

If your doctor won't give you any anti-anxiety meds then please see another. You should not ever be refused a medication that will help you with your treatment and recovery (I have had the same problem with many doctor, it can take a while to find one to trust).

CBT therapy really is an effective tool for overcoming anxiety and grief, any negative emotion really. It can seem overwhelming when you are in the middle of high anxiety, but if you take it slowly it can work wonders. A lot of our members have had success.

Are you seeing a therapist at all? They may be able to help you with this, alternately there is a great website "moodgym" that does CBT online.

I hope this helps you out a little and that things improve. Hang in there, let us know how you are going, and again, welcome.

I can't say anything more than the wonderful advice Meg has already given you.

Therapy really does help to fight the ways in which our own thinking makes the condition worse. For instance, when you're depressed, it's easy to focus on how depressed you feel, and then that leads to thinking it will never improve, and that your life is worthless - down, down, down the negative thinking spiral. While therapy may not prevent the initial feelings from coming on, you can use it to help stop this horrible amplifying that your own thoughts can contribute.

Welcome to HealingWell and the A & P forum. You have joined a wonderful peer support group and I hope we will be able to meet your needs.

I am Kitt. I have had my meds poop out on me too and sometimes a change to a different med will help. You may want to discuss this with your physician. The Lexapro may have worn out for you. There are many other meds to choose from and sometimes it takes more then one or two tries to find the right chose for you.

There is a online free CBT therapy site you could work on to see if it may help you. It is not as good as one on one therapy but it truly has helped many of our own members.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy is based on the idea that our thoughtscause our feelings and behaviors, not external things, like people, situations, and events. The benefit of this fact is that we can change the way we think to feel / act better even if the situation does not change.

U guys are awesome! This is the most encouragment I had in a LONG time............Mom use to encorage me. Thank u so much! I could just cry! I am determined to live a long and happy life. No, I'm not seeking therapy because to be honest, I can't afford it right now. I'm in school, but I graduate in Dec........so I will have wonderful insurance throught the hospital I work for. I'm just waiting.I have gone down to the county mental health clinic and let me tell you that they were so COLD and didn't care. I promise! I'm not going to speak of all the people there because I didn't see all of the people there, but the one nurse/counselor I did see didn't care. the psych, well he didn't even want to hear the problems, he asked "how are you feeling." I say "good" he says "great" and writes a continuing prescription. LOL. But he was very good looking so I walked out of there everytime with a spike in serotonin, lol. Anyway, thanks guys for your comments. I do appreciate them. I will try out the online CBT. Again, thank you!

It sounds like you have a really healthy mind set an attitude..and december really isn't that far away (is it just me or is this year really whizzing by??)

I can reccomend the moodgym..it's a great site (and comes from the place I went to university!!), CBT is such a powerful tool, I use it every day to turn my thoughts around. I am so glad you found us here, keep posting and let us know how you go okay? What are you studying?

Hey Meg, Thanks for the compliments. Trust me, I don't feel that I have a health mindset on days. I did go to moodgym.com it is great. I appreciate you recommending it to me! I didn't complete the questionairre yet, but will finish it up tomorrow. I have clinicals this morning so I have to get to bed. i'm in surgical technology! Weird field for someone who is always panicky about their health, LOL. I'm such an encouraging person when it comes to others, but when it comes to me, blah. Friends ask me often why I can't take my own advice. Good night!

You have attitude...........a very good attitude about working on wellness and wow, that is awesome. You are strong and you are willing to work on your problems which tells me you want to learn to manage your issues. You have my support and I am glad the link to MoodGym looks good to you.