Abandoned Mine (2013) - on Halloween, some kids go into a supposedly haunted mine for a good scary time. It's not long before they end up trapped down there and start searching for another way out. This was just bad in every way. The plot is ripped straight from April Fool's Day, which is to say the entire plot is a twist ending. So the first 75 minutes of it seems like nothing but filler. I could nitpick everything that's wrong with it but in the end, it's the writer/director's first attempt at either of those things and he doesn't (yet) have the skills to turn his idea into a believable, much less enjoyable movie. 2/5.

Jug Face (2013) - some hillbillies living out in the woods have this hole in the ground that can apparently heal them. In return it doesn't ask much, just a human sacrifice once in a while. A young girl is to be the next sacrificial victim, but she tricks everyone into thinking that she hasn't been chosen - the hole in the ground gets a bit P.O.'d and hillbillies start falling victim to its wrath one after another. This was different at least. Unfortunately the whole thing just sat there on the screen like a mildly interesting story that didn't draw me into it at all. They should have spent some time giving me a reason to care about any of these people and less time showing me how primitive they all were. 3/5.

Rapture-Palooza - Funny in the micro, lacking in the macro. This could have been an amazing Idiocracy type take on the book of Revelation. Instead, it's just a place for tossed off albeit funny jokes. Rob Cordry from the Daily Show is here and is funny and Anna kendrick wears a tight dress through most of the movie that is much appreciated.

The Left Behind thing happens and the people left over have to deal with rocks falling randomly from the sky and also the Beast, played by some famous comedian. He develops a taste for Kendrick and her and her boyfriend, played by some guy, have to figure out a way to stop him from banging her and being awful. it's funny, but they don't really tackle the whole Revelation thing the way you want them too.

I'd recommend this because it has good jokes but it could have been amazing with more heart. 3.75 /5

Abandoned Mine (2013) - on Halloween, some kids go into a supposedly haunted mine for a good scary time. It's not long before they end up trapped down there and start searching for another way out. This was just bad in every way. The plot is ripped straight from April Fool's Day, which is to say the entire plot is a twist ending. So the first 75 minutes of it seems like nothing but filler. I could nitpick everything that's wrong with it but in the end, it's the writer/director's first attempt at either of those things and he doesn't (yet) have the skills to turn his idea into a believable, much less enjoyable movie. 2/5.

Jug Face (2013) - some hillbillies living out in the woods have this hole in the ground that can apparently heal them. In return it doesn't ask much, just a human sacrifice once in a while. A young girl is to be the next sacrificial victim, but she tricks everyone into thinking that she hasn't been chosen - the hole in the ground gets a bit P.O.'d and hillbillies start falling victim to its wrath one after another. This was different at least. Unfortunately the whole thing just sat there on the screen like a mildly interesting story that didn't draw me into it at all. They should have spent some time giving me a reason to care about any of these people and less time showing me how primitive they all were. 3/5.

The ending of JUG FACE was one of the most brutal things I have ever seen. Even with all the build up, I was not expecting it!

Been watching a ton of movies lately.This week I have seen INSANE, a rather confusing horror movie set in Sweden, centering around a mild mannered hotel clerk who photographs female guests while they are sleeping, then stalks and murders them.This morning I watched a rather tense Irish thriller called IN FEAR - about a couple who get lost in the damp countryside looking for an off-the-beaten-path hotel and wind up being stalked by a madman. With a very limited cast and budget this turned out to be a surprisingly good movie.Then tonight I watched THE DEVIL'S KNOT, a rather brilliant film about the three teenagers in West Memphis, Arkansas who were convicted on very flimsy evidence of killing three eight year old boys in 1993. The movie is a fairly accurate, if one-sided, depiction of this sensational trial. All three men were later freed from jail, pending complete legal exoneration. The real killer has never been caught. This movie is definitely worth the rental!

The ending of JUG FACE was one of the most brutal things I have ever seen. Even with all the build up, I was not expecting it!

See I was totally expecting it. The whole movie had that downbeat atmosphere and I knew those people weren't going to somehow outwit a hole in the ground and they obviously didn't care about their children.

The Dead Pit (1989) - hadn't watched this one in a long time. A girl suffering from amnesia is sent to a mental institution where, 20 years earlier, a mad scientist was conducting experiments on the patients. Another doctor killed him, but you know those mad scientist types: they always have a way of returning from the grave. So spooky stuff starts happening and our lead actress (Cheryl Lawson) quite often has to get out of bed and go walking around in her panties and a T-shirt. It has some nice atmosphere to it with plenty of Argento-esque lighting. And a fun if rather silly plot. Overall a good slice of '80s fun. 4/5.

Shallow Ground (2004) - some blood-covered kid shows up at a small town police station. He seems to have some supernatural powers. Years earlier there was a serial killer in the area, and the sheriff blames himself for the death of one of the victims; the kid seems to be somehow related to that. I fell asleep in the middle of this one night and finished it off the next night - I don't know if that caused me to lose track of the plot or if it just didn't make much sense in the first place. At one point the appearance of the blood-covered kid seemed to have much wider implications, but then in the end...it didn't. Oh well, it was decent and had a sort of Stephen King vibe to it. 3/5.

The ending of JUG FACE was one of the most brutal things I have ever seen. Even with all the build up, I was not expecting it!

See I was totally expecting it. The whole movie had that downbeat atmosphere and I knew those people weren't going to somehow outwit a hole in the ground and they obviously didn't care about their children.

I wasn't surprised by the ending but I loved the movie.

THE EVIL BRAIN FROM OUTER SPACE (1956): Three episodes of the Japanese "Starman" series edited into one incoherent story about an evil brain and his mutant army. Nonsensical but exciting; its constant monsters and fights inside a plot that's impossible to follow (the supporting characters keep changing and a narrator has to break in every now and then to explain who's who). 3/5 if you like this kind of stuff.

Logged

"...the luscious love melons of Linnea Quigley are back on the screen in 'Sexbomb,' except that she's no longer Linnea Quigley. She's billed simply as 'Linnea'... So, you might be wondering, where is Linnea Qui... I mean, Linnea? She's exactly where we would expect, wandering around through the background with her breasts hanging out. She's got maybe, oh, eight words to say in this movie, and most of them are 'Here, I brought you some coffee.'"-Joe Bob on SEXBOMB

Munster, Go Home! (1966): Herman (Fred Gwynne) learns he has inherited a vast estate from a wealthy uncle in Britain and is to become Lord Munster. The Munsters head to Britain to check out their new digs and meet somewhat unwelcoming relatives who don't like sharing said digs with them. In fact, dear old Aunt Effigie (Hermione Gingold) and her kids Freddie (Terry-Thomas) and Grace (Jeanne Arnold) plot their demise. On the trip over, Marilyn (Debbie Watson) meets and falls in love with Roger Moresby (Robert Pine) but trouble awaits them in England as the Moresby family and the Munsters are longtime rivals with a grudge. Eventually Herman is asked to defend the Munster family honor in a car race but it's all a plot to do him in and made Roger look responsible.

This feels like an extended episode of the TV series (kind of like mixing elements of "Hot Rod Herman", "Grandpa's Call of the Wild", and "Munster Masquerade" together and moving the Munsters to Britain) and is quite enjoyable for what it is. At times, it can be a little silly and goofy yet it's great fun to see the Munsters in color. All the regular cast (Gwynne, Yvonne De Carlo, Al Lewis, Butch Patrick) is top notch, Terry-Thomas is also very enjoyable to watch here and almost steals the film, Debbie Watson proves a somewhat disappointing replacement for Pat Priest here but does well enough. Pine makes an entertaining love interest with some great reactions to seeing the Munsters. The race itself is also lively and a lot of fun. The Dragula is certainly memorable too. Fun but probably best enjoyed by fans of the series. ***1/2 out of ***** stars.

Plaguers (2008) - watched this again. Some people on a spaceship receive a distress call and rescue some babes from another ship. Unfortunately they've got some green globe that's apparently alien and sure enough, it starts turning them into zombies. Space zombies nonetheless! Just a fun silly movie. Good ol' low budget entertainment all the way. 4/5.

A SHRIEK IN THE NIGHT (1933): Two reporters continue to investigate a series of murders committed in an apartment building after the police have declared the case closed. Intricate yet uninvolving mystery, for diehard Ginger Rogers fans only. 1.5/5.

Logged

"...the luscious love melons of Linnea Quigley are back on the screen in 'Sexbomb,' except that she's no longer Linnea Quigley. She's billed simply as 'Linnea'... So, you might be wondering, where is Linnea Qui... I mean, Linnea? She's exactly where we would expect, wandering around through the background with her breasts hanging out. She's got maybe, oh, eight words to say in this movie, and most of them are 'Here, I brought you some coffee.'"-Joe Bob on SEXBOMB

Memron (2004) - who wants to watch a dry, guffaw if not laugh inducing take on the now quaint seeming Enron scandal? Yeah...kind of a tough sell. They must have had to bring out the dustbuster to get all the dust off this one before they mailed it. It's pretty solid though, if besides the point for most of our lives. Memron employees get fired and we see the executive "suffer" through country club prison and house arrest. The out of work Memroners put together a new plan, a demented idea I won't describe that is sort of funny. One character I liked was the stammering woman. She would say things like " it's like...when you get down to what we were doing...in another way...that's what it was". I didn't really do it justice there but it was funny. There's another character who is so outgoing that she's essentially just a whore and f**ks everyone she comes into contact with except her sad sack "old gill" (Simpsons) type partner. My guess is I'm the last person who will ever see this. 4/5

"Dear Mr. Watterson" (2013) - this documentary examines the legacy of the classic comic strip "Calvin and Hobbes" - and its enigmatic creator, cartoonist Bill Watterson - through interviews with fans and fellow artists. An engrossing look at a unique figure in comics.

This morning I watched a rather tense Irish thriller called IN FEAR - about a couple who get lost in the damp countryside looking for an off-the-beaten-path hotel and wind up being stalked by a madman. With a very limited cast and budget this turned out to be a surprisingly good movie.

Interesting thing: this movie's script (or parts of it) was withheld from the actors to promote amore genuine reaction. I watched it at Frightfest last year (which also showed other movies you liked IIRC like Haunter & Dark Touch).

Demons at the Door (2004) - kind of a favorite of mine. Some people have discovered the door to hell and must somehow close it and keep Satan at bay. Or just blow him up with explosives. One the most stupid movies ever made, and quite entertaining because of it. Foul-mouthed demons firing off ten insults a minute, comical fights with gallons of green ooze all over the place, some of the worst acting you'll ever see, even worse special effects, and an utterly idiotic (in a good way) ending. 4/5.

Frank, now retired and married to Jane who wants a baby, is called back to help his former police colleagues to prevent a disaster most likely happening during the Oscar ceremony.A bit weaker sequel that relies more on spoofing movies (Jurassic Park, Thelma & Louise) than coming up with own jokes. However, the second half IS quite hilarious. I especially enjoyed the Pia Zadora scenes. 3/5

Small Soldiers (1998)

Dubious factory uses dangerous military micro-chips to enhance toy soldiers. Soon enough the dolls come alive causing all sorts of destructive chaos.Highly regarded Joe Dante flick that really isn't that great (but not bad either). It's good, but still miles away from his similar classic Gremlins. Fun cast, convincing CGI and a strange 1980s vibe found in most Dante movies filmed after the 1980s. 3/5

The Addams Family (1991)

The morbid Family Addams are forced out of their home because a (seemingly) fake Uncle Fester who is actually after the Addams fortune gets first dips on the house because he is the first born brother.Much better than I remembered, and I totally forgot this movie was also used to promote MC Hammer's music Part 2 is much better but this was a fun revisit nonetheless. 3.5/5

THE GALAXY INVADER (1985): Unfortunately for him, a green alien from another galaxy crash-lands in the middle of a county full of drunken rednecks who try to capture him. At times this Don Dohler direct-to-VHS alien creature feature seems like it's about to become transcendentally stupid, but it never quite makes it over the just-kinda-stupid hump. It has a real GIANT SPIDER INVASION feel and probably would have worked well on MST3K. 2.5/5.

Logged

"...the luscious love melons of Linnea Quigley are back on the screen in 'Sexbomb,' except that she's no longer Linnea Quigley. She's billed simply as 'Linnea'... So, you might be wondering, where is Linnea Qui... I mean, Linnea? She's exactly where we would expect, wandering around through the background with her breasts hanging out. She's got maybe, oh, eight words to say in this movie, and most of them are 'Here, I brought you some coffee.'"-Joe Bob on SEXBOMB