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A Storytelling Autopsy: Friday The 13th 2009

What follows is not a review, or even a proper critical
evaluation of FRIDAY THE 13TH (2009). Instead, I'll try to peel back the
storytelling mechanics to explain why this unenumerated entry in the franchise
still haunts us.

(warning: spoilers follow, in the improbable case you haven't seen the film.)

To be clear, FRIDAY THE 13th (2009) does not
qualify in any sense as a remake. It is not, at this stage, a
"reboot", either, until additional sequels actually get made. As it
stands, FRIDAY '09 occupies the same conceptual space as those late-in-the-game
re-recorded greatest hits albums that dinosaur rock bands sometimes are
encouraged to release. Outside the opening moments, the most recent member of
the franchise makes no attempt to retell the story of the original, choosing
instead to Frankenstein together elements of the second, third, and fourth
films into a patchwork quilt.

The prospects of a “true” remake of Sean S. Cunningham's
seminal FRIDAY THE 13th were never very good. Although easily the
most successful in the franchise (choose your methodology- the original always
comes out on top), the 1980 film has almost none of the elements that the
general movie-going public has come to associate with the title. No Jason
(outside the ending chair jumper scare), no hockey mask, very little (and
restrained, at that) nudity, a modest body count (by modern standards), and
absolutely no victims that the audience is meant to root against. FRIDAY '80 is
a non-cynical work from a time when genre filmmakers had less of a defensive,
antagonistic relationship with viewers. It's unthinkable that Cunningham's film
would have ended with Alice raising up Mrs. Voorhees' machete, quipping, “Say
hello to your son... in HELL!”, and swinging at the killer's head.

Things have simply changed.

Any long-running movie series inevitably finds itself forced
to change in order to remain relevant. DR. NO, as great as it is, wouldn't work
for the young audience accustomed to the harder edge of CASINO ROYALE. The
modern DARK KNIGHT RISES fan is likely to turn his nose at Tim Burton's campier 1989 take on BATMAN. After boating to New York, swapping bodies,
going where no psycho has gone before, and fighting a dream demon, Jason
Voorhees, looming as large over the horror genre as Bond and Bruce Wayne over
spy flicks and comic book adaptations, desperately needed a modernization.

Enter Jason Voorhees 2.0: a marathon-running,
hostage-taking, kerosene-stealing, generator-repairing tunnel rat. Each of
these character traits hope to address a well-established criticism that the
franchise had endured for nearly three decades. Jason walks, his victims run,
but he always catches them? Now he runs with athletic perfection. How does he
manage to be seemingly everywhere at once? He uses a network of underground
tunnels. Why, in each film, does he stalk the Final Girl but not act on killing
her until the final reel? She reminds him of Mom. How does he keep from
freezing during those long winters? A working generator. Each of these
solutions is serviceable, if somewhat untidy, but not a single one is really
necessary. In fact, as we'll see, they're counterproductive.

FRIDAY THE 13th, as a concept, works best as a
campfire story brought to screen. Urban legends are not rational. They follow
the logic of dreams and nightmares. Offering up “plausible” answers to
illogical issues undermines the greatest strength of the series and the basis
of its universal appeal. No matter who you are or where you come from, a simple
ghost story told in an unfamiliar setting, far from home, in the dark, will
always prove effective. By attempting to “fix” the series, FRIDAY '09 ends up
sailing far off its best trajectory in service to reparations that none of the
fans requested.

Therein lies the biggest contradiction of the film: on one
hand it wants to return the series to its origins, and on the other, improve on
a wildly successful formula. While no one would ever suggest that any artist
should ever aspire to merely repeat what has gone before, in this case the
elements clash and end up separating like water and vinegar. A welcome reprieve
from high-concept gimmicks comes at the price of unsettled storytelling,
creating a film with magnetic poles, elements both attracting and repelling the
core audience.

Intriguingly, FRIDAY '09 opens with a lengthy pre-credits
sequence that might as well function as a miniature sequel in its own right.
It's quickly established that a group of college kids has ventured into the
woods around Crystal Lake to harvest an abandoned crop of marijuana. Especially interesting is the early attempt
to recapture the camp fire/urban legend aesthetic of the first two films; none
of the characters has first hand knowledge of the crop since the source came
from “a second-hand source”, which might as well be “my brother's roommate...”.
It's not long before the story of Mrs. Voorhees' rampage and her son's possible
survival are recounted... around an actual campfire... with marshmallows, no
less.

The trip to the decrepit camp is, without a doubt, the most
frightening sequence in the franchise since FINAL CHAPTER. The murders at the
campsite are more effective than any we've seen since NEW BLOOD. The dark-
almost nihilist- atmosphere is a very welcome departure from the tone of FREDDY
VS. JASON, X, or GOES TO HELL. There's real menace here... and a palpable sense
of danger. Victims have their heads split, are burnt alive, and actually suffer
from their wounds. This isn't the clean, almost antiseptic murder spree of
TAKES MANHATTAN. Even the final girl,
retreating on all fours, is unable to escape as Jason brings his machete
down---

Title card.

If FRIDAY THE 13th '09 had ended right there, the
only complaint from fans would have been its length. The pre-credits sequence,
minus the thinly staged recreation of Mrs. Voorhees' decapitation, is a
near-perfect distillation of all the things the audience identifies as crucial
to the complete FRIDAY THE 13th experience.

The remainder of the
movie, which also attempts to blend iconic elements of the first four films, is
less successful. Not that it fails completely, but it's here that all of those
attempts to ground the story into a hard reality come into play. Jason's
kidnapping tenancies, underground tunnels, and mechanical proficiency may not
derail the film, but they ultimately work against its effectiveness by
distracting the viewer from the story's forward momentum. Every time the film
detours from its main plot in order to explain away a built-in illogicality,
the film loses all of the tension it has built up and must then regain. A
perfect example of this is the scene where Clay and Jenna explore Camp Crystal
Lake looking for Whitney, only to stumble across Jason. A wonderful suspense
sequence-- and a clever one too, reversing the common theme of Jason spying on his
victims-- has a good chunk of its scariness undone the moment Jason turns on
the flood lights. Since we've never seen this side of Jason before, it feels
alien and strange. The viewer inevitably finds himself more interested in
Jason's mastery of generators and wiring than the survival of our heroes. And
that's a problem.

Still, there are excellent scenes abound: Chewie's cruel
murder is perhaps the series' most brutal death, Nolan's shocking
arrow-to-the-head never fails to draw breath, and the suspenseful lead up to
Chelsea's offing are all standouts. When FRIDAY '09 fires on all cylinders, it
threatens to eclipse most earlier entries and wind up at the top of most fan's
best-of lists. But its missteps, such as the awkward and forced sequence where Jason
acquires his trademark hockey mask, are damaging.

The film's biggest flaw, without question, is its
anticlimactic ending. From the moment Jenna dies onward, the movie's momentum
wanes. Jenna's death comes unexpected and sudden; too quickly, since she served
as the audience's surrogate and the only character that comes off as wholly
likable. We don't spend enough time with Whitney to really feel any connection
with her. Clay broods earnestly enough, but his single-minded search for his
sister leaves him without a purpose once he finds her-- sure he wants to live,
but how is that different than any of the others? Following the final two
survivors into a barn to face off with Jason, we feel no dread that either of
them might not make it. While the movie has shown a willingness to kill off a
traditionally “safe” character, we don't really care about Clay or Whitney
enough for the final showdown to have any emotional heft.

And then there's that groan-worthy line: “Say hello to
Mommy... in hell!”

Groan.

As if tired of itself, the film limps to its final scare in
the most perfunctory fashion imaginable, turning the first film's landmark
chair-jumper into a strangely idle, eye-rolling denouncement of everything that
came before. For a film that went so far out of its way to firm up a more
realistic take on the subject, in the end we get a standard resurrected Jason
leaping from the depths of Crystal Lake. In essence, the movie is declaring its
own intentions to have failed. Reality doesn't work for FRIDAY THE 13th,
but by the final moments of this film, surreality can't, either. No one wakes
on a hospital cot. No Final Girl breathlessly whispers, “then... he's still
there.”

Take a moment and compare those two cited line: “then... he's still there.” and “Say hello
to Mommy... in hell.” It about sums up the difference between the original
classic and this mishandled, sometimes powerful but often confused “remake”. In
one case, the audience is left shaken and creeped-out by the violent, haunting
experience they've witnessed; in the other, they're already on their feet with
half-empty popcorn bag in hand, heading for the theater exit. It's a question
of substance, and lack thereof.

FRIDAY THE 13th (2009) had the unfortunate task
of replicating the success of one of the genre's most influential titles. And,
in all honesty, it is better than almost all of the later-day slasher
movies that studios both small and large have offered. If the same film were
released under a different title, with a killer with a different name and mask,
it would be celebrated as a return to form for the stalk-and-slash subgenre.
But when compared to the original source, it takes a significant beating. Had
the filmmakers trusted the early series' dynamics of heightened, surreal
storytelling-- nightmare logic, urban legend set-up, and campfire lyricism--
the result might very well have ushered in a new era of FRIDAY THE 13th
supremacy. By choosing to tether the movie to a more plausible sensibility, it
effectively chained the new film to the bottom of the lake.