Friday, January 01, 2010

Do Muslims Believe in Destined SoulMates

Sure, Muslims believe in Qadr, which means we believe in destiny but we also have choice in the future we create because of our free will. Without getting into questioning free will and pre-destination and turning this into a debate on those beliefs, lets just take my simple definitions on them.

So now on to soulmates. A soulmate as according to Oxford dictionary is defined as "a person ideally suited to another."

I'm sure everyone has a different meaning or definition of the word "soulmate" so I thought I'd just put a definition that the Oxford Dictionary people have defined for us in the english language.

Of course the word soulmate is more than just a definition - its an entire concept. Still the question remains, 'do Muslims believe in destined soulmates?'

I asked my sister that question and got a resilient no.

Her take on it was that Allah created our souls only for his worship and thus the notion that souls are made for each other is wrong. I tried to clarify that its not so much that those who believe in soulmates believe that our souls are for each other as an end means. Still I don't think she was feeling the idea.

I guess the real question I'm hinting at is there just 1 soul that is the most ideally suited for us that Allah has created?

Sure we may find many different degree of people suited to us - but I'm sure Allah created one that is the IDEAL. Is that one the only one that can be considered a soulmate? Can we have multiple degree of people who are ideally suited to us - I mean could one really tell the difference between a person who was 97% suited vs. 96% suited to us? If not, then what's the threshold at that we are going to be realize that this person "passes" for us? Maybe conceiving the idea of a soulmate on 0-100 scale is not the best way to view it?

I suppose I'm asking because I did believe in such a thing as a destined soulmate in the singular sense ... but I'm just wondering if I was wrong to believe it because it didn't come across it clearly in Islam (sure you can deduce it).

My sister says if I believe in it, its good because Allah gives us what we believe in.

I'm not sure what she means by that because she wasn't clearly interested in speaking more about the subject.

6 Comments:

Surah Noor, v.25, Allah says: "Women impure for men impure. And women of purity for men of purity."

I don't know about the tafseer of this verse but this verse kind of gives me motivation to do good despite the fact that sometimes pious women get stranded to some not so pious men. But I think in Jannah, you'll be married to spouses whom you deserve and are perfect for you. Allahu A'lam.

As for this dunia...I believe spouses are a test, whether they're good or bad...it all depends what your definition of ideal is.With my limited knowledge, I think there's no such concept of this single person who's perfect for you! Because if you study the history of female companions of the Prophet, biggest example is of Umm Salama...most of the women's husbands got shaheed (InshAllah) in battles so they had to remarry...and they were perfectly happy with their new husbands :) Also, if the concept of a 'destined soulmate' were true...Prophets and Sahabis wouldn't have more than one wife :)

Your sister didn't seem interested because like she said and like I constantly tell others, the only purpose is worshipping Allah. You make an intention to marry just so that you can worship Allah thru that relationship.And Allah knows best.

Imaam al-Bukhaari (may Allaah have mercy on him) reported in his Saheeh that ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: “I heard the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) saying: ‘Souls are like conscripted soldiers; those whom they recognize, they get along with, and those whom they do not recognize, they will not get along with.’” (Saheeh al-Bukhaari, Kitaab Ahaadeeth al-Anbiyaa’, Baab al-Arwaah junood mujannadah).

I need to do more research on this topic but I remember reading an explanation of how when Allah created all our souls and we all testified that we were grouped as the hadith says. ALlah knows best if this is correct. But I believe that its possible that every one could have that one person who is more suited than another but that this wont always be the one most like you. Because we always need a balance and i feel the soul mate would not only be similar in some ways but also might be contrasting to provide a balance and a harmony . Of course we could direct this question to the ulumaa who can answer this from Quran and sunnah which is much more desired than what I have to say. I was thinking as well how the soul of a person changes as well depending on what the person engages in and strives toward. So that is why in the end the best thing is for two people to be striving towards Allah and connected to Him because if that reliance and bond with Allah is always there with both people then they will have a constant in thier lives ... nothing other than Allah 3azza wa jal is constant and always dependable. And Allah knows Best.

And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought. 30:21. i think this means that Allah has created a soul mate for you.. Subhan'Allah

About Me

"It goes a long way back, some twenty years. All my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what it was. I accepted their answers too, though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory. I was naive. I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I, could answer. It took me a long time and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with: That I am nobody but myself."