Be Fearless

1 chapter / 1188 words

Melanie Archer has fast-fallen for a boy not knowing that she and him are more alike than normal. Fear of unleashing her power and loving irrelevantly consume her. But Travis is there to bring her back.
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I put some thought into these names :)

Melanie: dark (she was stuck in a depressed state for a while). Love, rebellious (she hated being super-human, and almost killed herself because of it), it also means sun-ray or light (which is her power and her attitude at the end of the story.

Travis: strong (his power is super-strength, independent, crossing (I don't know about that one, to be honest).

Reviews(68)

1. This was excellent writing, but I felt that it moved too quickly.
Suggestions for this problem: Maybe try giving more information at the beginning, try having them talk, introducing themselves or just chatting.

2. Make her pain greater, she seemed to be attempting to kill herself because she couldn't control her powers and couldn't touch Travis like she would like to. Have her go into deep thought and make it more emotional, maybe she couldn't touch him at all or whenever he tried he'd be hurt, not just sometimes.

3. I like the idea of the soulmate thing, but it seems to be a bit exaggerated, it just seems like too much, make the story fut it or reduce the story a bit.

It was spectacular!
The story of these two heartthrobs is literally a dream come true for them.
I think that there could have been a teensy bit more explanation about their super-powers, and since the rest of it seems realistic, you could've maybe tried to make the powers themselves seem more realistic.
Also, since the boy wasn't hurt severely by the powers, I don't think the ending was very realistic. If he had been hospitalized or in a coma for a while, I feel like it would make a bit more sense.
But, overall, spectacular story!
I give it a heart, blush, cry, and a wow! ;)