Thursday, January 27, 2011

Just one of those days...

I know, its been a little while since I've written. To be honest, there just hasn't been much to post about. I am back to boring, regular life.

Boring, regular life with hours and hours of rehearsing...

I ended up with 3 big leads in the opera workshop scenes...one scene is about 60 pages long, and the director gave us an assignment of learning notes and rhythms for 35 pages! 35 pages! Then I had about 5 for one scene and 6 for another... Then, when you add to that the crazy hard Bach piece that we're doing in Chamber Choir, I feel like I'm married to a practice room...I'm not complaining (okay, maybe I am a little bit) but I do remember having a life, and with this much music I barely am finding a enough time to sleep, let alone cook for and spend time with my husband...

Alas, I digress, I'm sure the day will come when I will be extremely grateful for the time that I had here at ISU, maybe even for this crazy time in particular... you never know the lessons you will learn and the experiences that will be burned onto your cerebral cortex (okay, I'm not sure if that is where lessons are burned onto, but I think it sounds much more like I'm a smarty pants, and sometimes I like thinking I'm smart.)

Yesterday was one of THOSE days...

You know, those days that start with kind of upsetting news, but instead of rising above it you end up letting it set the tone for the whole day.

I won't bore you right now with what event occurred to set the tone of the day (maybe I will someday, but right now, I'm just not feeling like I want to share) needless to say, it wasn't earth shattering information, but it bummed me out and I seemed to be stuck under a dark cloud for the rest of the day.

I was finally at the end of my day, sitting at work, feeling sorry for myself, and I'd had enough!...Why was I letting some news that shouldn't have necessarily bummed me out for the rest of the day do just that...why was I letting the gray cloud that was hanging out over my head win?!

I was thinking, racking my brain, trying to come up with something, ANYTHING, to make me feel better. Praying to God that my attitude would change and I would stop being so glum.

It was then that it hit me like a ton of bricks. That still small voice of the spirit spoke and I was completely side tracked and slightly confused.

"There must needs be opposition in all things."

Opposition in all things...what is the point of that thought? Why tell me that?

I didn't get it at first, it took me taking it step by step, thought by thought to finally grasp what God was trying to tell me...

What is the opposite of a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day...?

We have sad, depressing, downright blue days so that we can know when we have an awesome day, so that we can cherish that awesome day and hold onto the hope that either it won't end, or we will get to have another one the next day.

Bad days test our ability to hold on to hope...

They test our ability to hold onto the hope that tomorrow will be that awesome day that we want so badly...the hope makes our bad days less bad in an instant, because when you have hope, you have a glimmer of light, a small sliver of happiness to cling to to chase the dark clouds away.

I'm not going to lie. This thought stuck with me, but I was still in the middle of a humdrum, Eeyore type of day. I went home, snuggled up next to Jeff, told him about my terrible, horrible day and had a good cry. However, as I was having that good cry, I said these words out loud over and over again.

"It doesn't matter. Bad days exist so we know when we have a good one." I said it over and over again in my head, and a few more times out loud. Jeff rocked me, held me, kissed my forehead, and let me cry. He tried to find ways to make me feel better, and tried to find things to say to make me feel better...

That was the beginning of a slightly better evening...

Today wasn't that awesome day I was clinging to hope for...but it was better than yesterday, and I suspect and hope tomorrow will be better too.

Here are a few things that made me smile today:

1) I was walking down the street and I saw a dude with blonde facial hair, the thought struck me, "Blonde facial hair only looks good on Hulk Hogan, and it doesn't even look that good on him." I giggled a little bit, I will admit. It wasn't exactly the nicest thought, but I found it a bit silly and definitely random.

2) DLF and Ms.Lane said, "There is no shame in admitting you don't know what part you are supposed to be singing in this scene. Now, is there anyone in this room that doesn't know what part they are supposed to be singing?" The devilish thought came to mind to raise my hand...I giggled a little (I have one of the main leads...it would be pretty ridiculous if I didn't know, but the thought of being a silly nilly and raising my hand made me smile.)

3) Letting my friends in Woodwind Methods class listen to my Goose Call...I told Jeff he should take me hunting when he goes out to shoot ducks and geese...We all had a bit of a laugh. (Pl.S. I officially stink on the clarinet...I'm getting marginally better, but I still suck. Maybe I will rock it out on the recorder instead like THIS...Awesome hair, brooding and all...)

6) Me- "Jeff, how hungry are you?" Jeff- "Pretty hungry. I think I could eat a couple of Totinos right now." Me- "Well, I'm thinking of making meatloaf for dinner, but it will take atleast 45 minutes..." Jeff-"(cutting me off) I can wait." Me- "Are you sure? Because I can make spaghetti.." Jeff- "(Cutting me off again) I can wait (smile)."

7) Jeff shoveled down 2 helpings of meatloaf in the ten minutes he had to eat before class and then asking me for a tupperware filled with it for a third helping. He then said, "I need to con you into giving me that recipe." Me- "Well, I guess it could come in handy if I'm not here to make it for you...(giggle)" Jeff just smiled, and kissed me. (P.S. Meatloaf recipe can be found on my Recipe Blog HERE .)

In the meantime loves, I hope if you've been having a bad day you can find the hope of a better day to cling to. I think it makes all the difference. You may still need to have a good cry, and I highly recommend it...but try to remember that there are many awesome days ahead. Focus on things that make you smile and you will find a little shimmer of light at the end of the tunnel.

More about this crazy cutie....

Isn't it funny how in the middle of life things seem to change all of a sudden? I have a theory about that...it happens to me a lot, so I decided that my life is likely the most watched Reality TV show in Heaven...now doesn't that make you want to read more about it? Out of the blue I somehow managed to find my Prince Charming...this blog is about my new life: adjusting from my confirmed single state into the state of a young wife, and now mamma- and the crazy twists and turns along the way (because God is the perfect producer, so he is always finding ways to keep it interesting.) Join me for the ride!