advanced reading copy of ADOPTING GRACE
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And for those I know who have received their heart’s desire and their particular prayer for a miracle became a reality, what does that feel like? Though there is much gratitude and joy, is it uncomfortable in any way – something akin to survivor’s guilt? These are big questions, and there are not trite and easy answers. One thing that I have observed is that those who come through a devastating loss with faith in tact also demonstrate the miraculous, often in the most profound ways. I take great comfort in the real life stories of those whose heart desire met a resounding “no” and yet they still trust God and experience joy. In Isaiah, God states, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts neither are your ways my ways.”23 Humbling and for a sometimes rebel like me, not too satisfying at times. As a mom, I desire to become more at peace with the mystery of God’s action and sometimes seeming inaction within our family stories. I imagine that embracing the questions of faith and doubt and all that is God will be happening until the day that I depart this life. For many years, I debated the mystery of the miracle as an observer – sometimes from afar and at other times from a closer perspective. Then one day, I had a front row seat. It was terrifying. **** ADOPTING GRACE ADVANCED READING COPY 127