Last week I got involved in an office prank at work,
I was suckered in by my number two who was instigating a prank on one
of the team and asked me to take part.

I am the last to leave the office, so before I left work on a Friday
evening I thought rather than pick on this one guy by swapping his seat
I'd level the playing field and move everyone’s seats as this would
be more fair and the guy would not feel singled out. Well I left work
Friday night feeling smug and childish, and I was fine through Friday
evening and I had a couple of beers and Ali and I watched a movie. Everything
was fine, but that night I slept very badly, I didn't know why but I
wrestled all night long with an upset mind. The next day I was okay
in the morning, but come lunchtime the penny had dropped.

I had not only taken part in a childish prank on my team, but I had
inadvertently lead the prank by involving everyone. I felt sick, and
I knew I had to do something about it, so I made my excuses to my family
and set out to my office in the hope that it would be open over the
weekend. It wasn't and I hit a new low, both my physical body and my
mental wellbeing suffered like I had committed some really evil deed.
I sat for a while in my car and considered my position, I had potentially
upset the order of my team, I risked losing not only my team's trust
but also their respect. I had walked straight into a trap that I could
not get out of.

I spent the rest of the day trying to convince myself that everything
would be okay, and that it would be simply seen as a joke. I managed
to do so by dinner, but then after my kids were asleep I sat in the
living room worrying about the situation and sweating like I was on
death row. I was feeling that something external to me was informing
me, perhaps from beyond my own consciousness, that I had royally screwed
up, and what was worse was that I could do nothing about it.

That night I could not sleep at all, I took some Nytol tablets and settled
a little and grabbed a couple of hours sleep, however I was worrying
all night and I could not escape the mental degradation and I could
not shake this feeling that something, maybe the universe, was telling
me to fix this, now! After another unsettled night I got up and felt
very unwell, I had hot sweats and a headache, and I still felt sick
in my stomach. I again tried to come to terms with what I had done,
and Ali noticed that something was wrong but didn't push me to find
out what it was.

So I spent the day trying to forget and move on, I asked Tess for forgiveness
and promised never to get involved so blindly in a stupid prank again.
It was my sense of fairness that had caused me to up the ante on someone
else’s prank, and while this is a good trait, rather than annoy one
person I was now going to annoy all of them, and I could trigger a complaint
to HR, or repercussions in terms of pranks being done to me. I had shattered
the illusion of respect and control and now I was going to pay. I struggled
all day with this dance of trying to be okay with what happened and
to play down the consequences inside my head, but as soon as I got comfortable
a deep surge brought the fear back to the surface. After walking my
dog I resolved to tell my wife about it and felt immediately better
for doing so. I had determined that I could go into the office early
Monday morning, and before any of my team got in. I could rearrange
the room as if nothing had happened, and no-one would be any the wiser,
however this would mean that I had to take my daughter with me and I
had to clear this with Ali. thankfully she agreed, and that night I
slept a little better although I awoke in a panic at one point because
I may not be able to pull it off for whatever reason, maybe one of my
team would also be in early, or maybe I would be seen and questioned
about my actions (I decided in this event to lie about coming in to
find a lost door key), or maybe the office would simply be locked up
when I arrived. I gave a prayer to Tess for good fortune and got back
to sleep.

The next morning I executed the plan exactly as I had imagined and was
not seen by anyone, and all was good. I felt blessed and I was full
of gratitude to the goddess for warning me and for allowing me to correct
my mistake. My team were none the wiser and I actually had a really
good day.

So it would seem that my life now is monitored by an external consciousness
and I am coerced by Kundalini energy into doing the right thing, this
is also becoming true of my diet and eating the wrong thing can make
me feel ill. I know however that this force is a good one and that it
is guiding me to a bright future so I should trust it and the lessons
it is showing me.