The_Sponge:900RR: I was just about to post the same pic but you beat me!! Your Fark-Fu is impressive. Loved Fright Night.

It scared the crap out of me when I was 9, but IMHO, it's the best vampire movie from the 80s.

You may be right! If you liked Salem's Lot, check out The Night Stalker and The Night Strangler with Darren McGavin... two kick ass early 70s TV movies with scary as hell vampires. You can get them both on a double-bill DVD.

900RR:You may be right! If you liked Salem's Lot, check out The Night Stalker and The Night Strangler with Darren McGavin... two kick ass early 70s TV movies with scary as hell vampires. You can get them both on a double-bill DVD.

metametameta:Death_Poot: I'm glad the wife can't stand this series. She went to the first one with her friends, came back and told me: "Vampires don't sparkle in the sunlight"

I could deal with the sparkles, but my god, the characters are total snores.

Honestly, I tried to read the first book, but got bored about a third of the way in. I love vampires like crazy, but I just can't see why any self-respecting vampire would be interested in a mopey girl who has no opinions, hobbies, or interests, does absolutely nothing, either ignores or is downright hostile to her friends, and isn't grateful for the things people give her.

I was dragged to the first two movies by a friend who was obsessed with the books. I could get over the sparkles and teen love story aspect but what I couldn't get over was the sheer unlikeability of all the main characters.

Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992) was pretty badass. Great adaptation, if a little over stylized. Gary Oldman rocked as the bat-man. It managed to incorporate the romance angle without neglecting that he was a farking monster. And he had better taste in women than ole sparkly.

shortymac:Yay! Another girl who hates it!!!! The only thing I'm looking forward too is another rifftrax and the birth scene. Though I am dreading that the last book was split in two for no reason (plot: she gets married, gets knocked up, has vamp baby the end! don't need 2 movies for that). Even with the rifftrax I only got halfway through the last one.

Really?"Here is an easy to follow guide for the guys on the right versus the wrong reasons to hate on Twilight. With the release of New Moon, there has been an awful lot of sexist, homophobic, patriarchal crap floating around the internet and I just wanted to set the record straight."

"I hate sexists. Also, if you have a penis, so here's how you should think."

Mugato:shortymac: Yay! Another girl who hates it!!!! The only thing I'm looking forward too is another rifftrax and the birth scene. Though I am dreading that the last book was split in two for no reason (plot: she gets married, gets knocked up, has vamp baby the end! don't need 2 movies for that). Even with the rifftrax I only got halfway through the last one.

The Rifftrax makes it all worth while.

/line?

No, what you want is Twilight: The Broodening (new window)which then links to the sequels Broodening Harder, Twilight 3: Electric Broodaloo, and a trailer for Twilight 4: Broodening Dawn.

Damn they nailed the plot and character problems all over.... and Bella's "Foamy The Squirrel" voice, me likey!

A strong woman who defines herself by the label on the shoes for which she massively overpaid?

Ding. SatC is not a show about strong women. It is a show about shallow, vacuous, spoiled women with unreasonable expectations about how men should treat them.

OK, now please tell us what Twilight is about in such simple terms, and why you would rather have a Twi-tard than a woman who was into Sex and the City.

I charge you, sir, to defend Twilight.

Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend. It's been analyzed to bits already.

And why Twitards over SatC Whores? Because, as I've already stated, it is impossible for you (or anyone) to be a sparkly undead hardbody that lives in the forest and can offer young sweetness an opportunity to be a battered wife for all eternity. SatC whores demand an upscale urban professional capable of being an appropriate accessory to their new bag and shoes. Go Mr Big, or go home.

One is unachievable on it's face. The other (if you've spent more than five minutes in Manhattan) is on every freaking street corner and in every bar. I'll take the Twi-tard because failing to meet her expectations simply means she's an even bigger lunatic than imagined.

Rent Party:Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend. It's been analyzed to bits already.

And why Twitards over SatC Whores? Because, as I've already stated, it is impossible for you (or anyone) to be a sparkly undead hardbody that lives in the forest and can offer young sweetness an opportunity to be a battered wife for all eternity. SatC whores demand an upscale urban professional capable of being an appropriate accessory to their new bag and shoes. Go Mr Big, or go home.

One is unachievable on it's face. The other (if you've spent more than five minutes in Manhattan) is on every freaking street corner and in every bar. I'll take the Twi-tard because failing to meet her expectations simply means she's an even bigger lunatic than imagined.

bigmattress:Rent Party:Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend. It's been analyzed to bits already.

And why Twitards over SatC Whores? Because, as I've already stated, it is impossible for you (or anyone) to be a sparkly undead hardbody that lives in the forest and can offer young sweetness an opportunity to be a battered wife for all eternity. SatC whores demand an upscale urban professional capable of being an appropriate accessory to their new bag and shoes. Go Mr Big, or go home.

One is unachievable on it's face. The other (if you've spent more than five minutes in Manhattan) is on every freaking street corner and in every bar. I'll take the Twi-tard because failing to meet her expectations simply means she's an even bigger lunatic than imagined.

"Dude, you weren't sparkly enough for her?"

You've defended Twilight nicely. Sleep well.

I would add that "Twilight" is pure escapist fantasy for its mostly juvenile audience whose tastes are still developing and growing.

"Sex and the City" is a deadly-serious aspirational roadmap for middle-aged women who should farking well know better by now.

At least some undefined portion of the "Twilight" nimrods have a chance of outgrowing that nonsense... The "Sex and the City" twits have done pretty much all of the growing they are ever going to do, and even with three or four decades of personal development time under their belts, they STILL haven't managed to get past obsessing over shiny objects like a pack of overgrown rodents.

I read the entire Twilight saga. The New York farking Times said it was good. I went to my summer cottage armed only with the swell, entire series. It is about a young, vapid girl who does nothing and thinks nothing. Men, vampires and werewolves keep rescuing her. She's madly in love with the vampire and wants to be just like him, i.e., dead. They marry, he knocks her up, while almost killing her with his virulent deathmanity. Her fetus grows at an alarming rate, breaks her spine, he chews the fetus out of her, turns her into a vampire. The werewolf falls in love with the fetus. It's appallingly bad. So, bad. So very, very bad.