The Married Kama Sutra: The World's Least Erotic Sex Manual

For centuries lovers have found inspiration and advice from the Kama Sutra, but new arrival The Married Kama Sutra: The World's Least Erotic Sex Manual gives a new twist on those tricky positions, which only those immersed in mundane blissful long-term relationships can truly appreciate.

Our top three:

The Prodding Position: To clean an area near a man's foot to imply he too should be cleaning.

A Close Call: Almost being caught looking up old lovers on Facebook. Just for reference, of course.

The Stubbon Goat: Pushing a man into a clothes shop to buy a new shirt. For the first time in a year.