Confused and dying

I don't know what to do anymore. I have no direction in my life. In the past I attempted suicide but held on to the fact that I was on my way to becoming someone after I got my degree. In the past I enjoyed seeing people everyday at class, but now that I'm out the closest thing to a person I see is my dog. I have no friends but I want them. But I don't know how to get them, nobody wants me around. I am trapped. Things are getting worse and now that my last suicide attempt got me caught by my family I have to go to therapy...

I had my first 2 sessions but there is nothing that she can do to help me. She can't get me friends or a girlfriend and she can't make me feel better about myself. I want to die but I don't at the same time. I am spiraling out of control. I wish someone would kill me. I just want another life. I won't ever be noticed. Please kill me.

Thanks guys, I appreciate it. I'm just so lost right now. My life is over. There is nothing left for me to do. And I have nobody to motivate me to continue. I'm not going to tell you I am going to commit suicide or anything like that just to try and have you talk me out of it. In fact, I don't think I have it in me yet to finish the job, but death has to be easier than this. And I wish I would die in an accident or something that I don't see coming, because I don't have what it takes to kill myself.

Thank you Mahya, I'm feeling better but it's only a matter of time before it comes crashing down again. I hate this part of my life, I feel better but feeling better only gives me a farther way to fall again. And I always fall.