Darlings, due to the American holiday, the world of celebrity red carpetry mostly came to a grinding halt. While we took the time to happily write about TV shows and costume design, we feel like we’ve let you poor kittens down by not giving you anyone to judge. You must be all backed up by now. Let us help you release all that pent-up judgment.

Miss Margot? Please step into the judging circle.

Hmph.

Well this is all very dull, dear. When the most interesting thing about a dress is the strap design, you have yourself a pretty boring frock. Kind of a shame, because those straps are pretty cool and cute. They deserve better than some old widow’s weeds party dress that we’ve seen a thousand times before. Miss Margot, you were doing so great back when you were working the I, Tonya-inspired ’80s looks. We can understand wanting to get away from that for a while, but it really was your best look.