Sex, it's everywhere...including YOUR BACKYARD!Cut to: Your backyard, people having sex in. Its a POV shot, and they notice you. And they run, you chase after'em. Even though you're not sure what you're going to do when you catch them. Thats IF you catch them because they're naked, and unencumbered by clothes, or your conservative views on clothes and sex in other peoples backyards. But you have shoes which help when running. And one of them has a penis, which flops around when he runs. The other one doesnt have a penis.

And so you chase them. Eventually you give up. You come back to your backyard and you notice a black purse and a trenchcoat lieing by your pear tree. You walk over and pick them up. A set of keys falls down and you pick those up too. You take them inside your house then go back to where they were, and drop off the note you wrote.

"I hope the sex was good, because I have your coat, purse, and keys...also, your dignity."

I think this needs to happen in my backyard. It's entirely blacktopped, fenced on three sides and has large dogs on one side of the fence, and you have to pass a cop car to get out. I'd like to meet those two brave souls that would attempt that.

I was feeling particularly dangeresque at the end of my Comedy: Ancient and Modern seminar this morning, so I said "Oh, what the hell" and just went up to the prof and explained to her your situation and said that you'd love to sit in on the class.