At least he’s risking his children for a World Series ring, if that still matters. Good thing he’s not Chicago Cubs catcher Wellington Castillo — since, you know, playing for the Cubs is metaphorically similar getting hit in the nuts by itself.

Two Neon Mugs, a Penn State’er, and a sleeveless bro who knows “UFC” — watch out, we got a badass over here. “I’m writing a book, bitch!” might be a line for some time to come during this Internet age.