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8 Reasons People Don’t Change Their Story

Reason #2: Fear

Fear of Failure, and Fear of Success

What are we so afraid of? We’re afraid to fail because we may look like a stupid, naïve dreamer, and we’re afraid to succeedbecause we’re so unfamiliarwith it.

Let’s talk about Fear of Failure first. I believe that the root of fear of failure is Pride. Failing would threaten the public, and private perception of who we are, the way other people see us, and the way we view ourselves. Failure would blow our cover and reveal our gaping vulnerabilities that no one ever knew we had. Fear also tells us that we’ll fail Big!…not just a little misstep, but massive public humiliation – so let’s just play it safe.

Fear of Failure often keeps us from even taking that first step because we’re afraid our Dream will go public. Yes, other people will now find out that we have a Big Hairy Dream!. Let’s face it, it’s uncomfortable to let people know that we’re breaking out of the status quo…they can stay behind if they want to, but we’re moving forward. We don’t want people to think we’re being ridiculous with our Big Dream especially if we fail and need to be consoled by them later.

When it comes right down to it, our fear of failure has more to do with what people are going to think of us than the actual failure itself. If we can keep failure in the proper perspective and view it as the necessary steps to climbing the mountain of success we’ll be able to conquer this fear and stop hiding behind our pile of failures, and begin standing on top of them…we’ll be that much closer to the top.

And then there is the Fear of Success. It may be hard to believe, but the fear of success is just as prevalent as the fear of failure. One of the reasons we may fear success is that we have an incorrect idea of what success really is. If we, or our peers have held successful people in distain, it stands to reason that we would fear the assumptions that other people have about us. Success could be defined simply as accomplishing a goal that we have set for ourselves in any area of our life, but for a broader view, and for the purpose of this discussion, I’ll define success…Continually progressing to improve ourselves in the most important roles of our lives, while joyfully pursuing and achieving the life and mission our Creator has called us to. Knowing, understanding, and communicating this mission, and the necessary achievements to be successful in it can bring us great fear and anxiety.

What will our friends and family think of the “new Successful Us”?

Why do I deserve to be successful anyway?

If I’m successful, what am I going to do next?

We all understand that with Success, comes, Responsibility…are we ready for it?

Can we handle the new expectations and demands on our time?

For most of us, we’re not going to go from a complete unknown to being on all the network TV shows overnight, but I truly believe that it’s our Creator’s desire that we be successful in the mission He has planned for us, let’s not allow our Fears sabotage His plans.

One small step is the beginning to pushing fear out of the way, start small and keep going, you will Change Your Story…When You Change Your Story, You Change Your World.

There’s Really Only Two Responses To Your Past:

Your History Can Either Control You, Or It Can Empower You!

In his book The Travelers Gift, Andy Andrews says…”Do not let your History control your Destiny”

Is your past holding you hostage like your standing in Quicksand? Are you wearing your bad decisions like a pair if hipboots full of mud?

It’s Time To STOP!

You cannot move forward while looking backward with regret, shame, or embarrassment…the past is the past. The past doesn’t even exist. All we can control is now, and where we go from here. It’s time to stop waisting prescious energy beating ourselves up over past mistakes, failures, and poor judgement, even though the consequences of the past may still be present.

My friend Kent Julian has a formula that he shares in his presentations all across the country. Kents says: E+R=O. The E stands for Events in our lives, the R stands for our Response to those events, and O stands for Outcome. In others words, our Response to the Events in our lives, determines our Outcome. It’s a simple formula, but if applied intentionally in our lives daily, our future will be one that has massive impact, and a positive influence on our world…the coolest part is, that it’s OUR choice!

I’ve been in Quicksand:

If you’ve spent any time at all reading this blog, then you know that I’ve been hung up in the quicksand of past defeats and failures. For far too long I allowed a few bad decisions hold me captive. I would question my own qualifications to help struggling entrepreneurs because of my own mistakes in business, and life. The real fact of the matter is, that those mistakes have actually been an education for me to help other frustrated entrepreneurs get “their lives back” too. The rugged terrain I’ve traveled as an entrepreneur makes me a better guide to those traveling a similar path.

One Last Thing About The Past:

Each of us must take complete responsibility for our past, we must own our past, but we do not need to wear our past like a scarlet letter into our future. Don’t let your past control your destiny. Your destiny is your destiny regardless of your past.

So…Quicksand Or Trampoline?

Back to the original question…Is your past going to suck you down like quicksand, or spring you onward like a trampoline into a bright and purposeful future. Your Response to the Events in your past determine the future Outcome of your life, and the impact you’ll have on this world.

Being Intentional about your Response is a great step toward being Intentional about your Legacy!

Take 3 minutes and watch this video to use a tip that I use…It seems to work everytime!!!

Yes, I’ve actually been held at Gunpoint

When I was 18 years old, my first job right out of high school was working in a small plastics factory in a not so good area of town. I worked a night shift where we started at 6 PM and worked until 6 AM, we would work three days on and then we would have the next three days off, at which point we would start another three day cycle.

One night at about 2 AM a man came in the building and was talking to a fellow employee, the rest of us assumed he was a friend bringing lunch or something. There was only three of us working that night so when our fellow employee called us over to his workstation we thought he was going to introduce us to his friend.

When we arrived at his workstation the intruder pulled out a gun, held us at gunpoint and demanded we hand over our wallets. Once he had our wallets in hand, he had all three of us line up against the wall, and then he had us lay on our bellies with our hands straight out in front of us…

My Life Passed Before My Eyes

I’m sure you’ve heard it said that just before you die, your entire life passes before your eyes. Well, I’m here to tell you, that’s the truth, thousands of freeze-frame moments passed before my eyes in a split second, I literally saw my entire life in slow motion in the blink of an eye.

Obviously the intruder finally left and we were all still alive, yet in that moment we were frozen while our life passed before us. We were “held up”, but we were not in control. Most of the time in life, when we are “held up” its of our own making.

So what’s your Hold-Up?

What’s holding you up while your life passes by? Is it fear? Is a lack of confidence? Lack of knowledge? Are you too young? Or are you too old?… Whatever it is, now is the time to take action. Start today by taking one step, every journey starts with the first step, stop waiting for everything to be perfect, start where you’re at today, and activate the gifts and talents you already have by taking that first step and change your world.

Stop waiting…It’s Time to Pull the Trigger

An Extraordinary Legacy doesn’t just happen…We must be Intentional, Start today by taking the first step towards an Intentional Legacy!!!

“Being Moderate Is Boring…Full Effort Is Fun”!!!

I first heard that phrase from a cassette tape in 1982 from leadership expert and keynote speaker Bob Goshen. Although I have not consistently lived by that principle it continues to roll through my mind still 30 years later.

Who really wants to be moderate anyway? Nobody is” turned on” by somebody or something that is just moderate. Living only a few miles from Lake Michigan, my wife and I often enjoy sitting on the pier watching the boats come in and out of the channel heading out to the big lake.While the boats are in the channel they are in a “no wake zone“, this means they float at an idle speed leaving no wake behind the boat. The real fun begins when they get past the end of the pier, without exception every boat goes full throttle. It’s as though the real ride doesn’t even begin until they are at full throttle.

Our lives are no different than the boats in the channel, if we are living moderate lives it’s as though we are in the “no wake zone“. I don’t know about you, but I want my life to be leaving a wake, a positive wake. I want to make a positive difference in this world and it will never happen being moderate. Being moderate is boring, being moderate is in effective, being moderate is dangerous, and being moderate leaves no wake…FULL EFFORT IS FUN, and FULL EFFORT changes everything.

I was listening to an Andy Andrews Podcast recently where Andy was interviewing Christian comedian Ken Davis. Ken made an awesome statement about how he wants to finish his life here on earth. He said “I want to cross the finish line with my chest pushed out as far as possible“…out of breath…FULL EFFORT!!! I agree with Ken Davis, I don’t want to stroll across the finish line, I want to cross it wide open, completely “Spent”…as Zig Ziglar says, “physically exhausted, but emotionally exhilarated“

It’s time we get out of the channel, leave a WAKE, and have some FUN… Let’s go FULL THROTTLE being Intentional about our Legacy!!!

Not all “Moments Of Greatness” happen while the world is watching. Some of the Greatest Moments occur behind the scenes where no one is there to see, but these moments can have the Greatest impact of all.

In this video, I share how these behind the scenes “Moments Of Greatness” by the people who know me best have truly been the inspiration to keep me focused on what matters most.

This has been a major reason for my quest to help others Discover and Live Their Best Life, I want to be someone who can provide these behind the scenes “Moments Of Greatness” that will have a lasting impact on their life.

Leave a comment and let me know your thoughts on this, and Thanks for watching.

Have you ever felt like a Fraud?

I know that sounds like a strange question, but hear me out, and see if you can relate at all.

I sometimes find myself in a situation, where my Passions, and Desires are stronger that my Credentials. For example; I may have a strong desire to help a person through a difficult business situation, when I’m “elbow deep” in a similar situation myself, and I haven’t even figured it out yet. If I offer suggestions, counsel, and advice…am I a Fraud? If I offer to speak to a group of people about discovering their Vocational Calling, and making a Career Transition, while still in transition myself…am I a Fraud?

The reason I’m asking these questions is, because sometimes that’s the way I truly feel. You might say I’m in a battle between doing the work that currently pays the bills, and striving to be in the work I believe God created me for. Let me try to explain my situation.

I currently own and operate a Garage Door business as my primary source of income, but I truly believe God has called me, and is preparing me for Career Coaching, and Professional Speaking. So by day I sell, install, and service garage doors and openers, and by night I speak and help people with career choices and transitions. Who am I? A garage door guy who helps people in career transition, or a Speaker and Career Coach who happens to also sell garage doors.

Ultimately I think it’s my responsibility to be authentically me, in every role of my life. If God has called me to speak and coach, then I am to pursue excellence in that role, and know that He will be using me for His purposes. I discussed this with my good friend and coach Rob Clinton, who made a great suggestion, he said Randell “just be Great at what you do by day, and be Great at what you do by night”. As long as I’m serving with greatness It’s impossible to be a Fraud, even if I sometimes feel that way.

How about you…do you ever feel like a Fraud? If so, consider this; The passions and desires you have were placed in your heart by your Creator, and if you are seeking to change your world by fulfilling God’s plan, then you’re not Fraud…even if you don’t have all the credentials yet.

Striving for Greatness everyday, regardless of our current situation, is all part of being Intentional about our Legacy.

I know you’ve been their too. Sitting at an “All Way Stop Sign”, there’s cars at each corner, and nobody is moving. We all wait. What are we waiting for? Are we afraid? Are we shy? Are we confused? Are we waiting for someone to wave us through? Or are we worried that it’s not really our turn?

Guess What? It’s Your Turn !!!

If you don’t start moving, you’ll never get to where you’re supposed to be going. The tasks before you won’t get done, and the people depending on you won’t be served.

I have a general rule of thumb I use at “All Way Stop Signs”…While looking each person in the eye, I count to three…if no one moves, I move. While everyone else is still sitting still, I get moving on to my destination, and proceed towards reaching my goals.

There is no doubt “Stops Signs” are there to help keep us safe, but they are not there paralyze us, and stop us from doing what we’re called to do.

If you know where God wants you to go, and what He wants you to do, but find yourself waiting at an “All Way Stop Sign” , I’m waving you through, because…

Guess what? It’s Your Turn !!!

Go For It …The world is waiting for you to Be Intentional About Your Legacy, It won’t happen while your sitting still.

Each and everyone of us, brings a unique perspective to any situation, problem, or circumstance. The skills, gifts, knowledge, and experience each of us have, bring valuable insight to help someone else deal with a problem, or move forward in their journey.

What about you…do you think you can offer someone valuable assistance to help with their situation? Or do you think your failures, and lack of experience prohibit you from helping someone take steps towards a better life?

You see, our mind set matters. If we don’t feel that we can help…we probably won’t, and someone will be missing out on our unique experience, that could be just the answer to their problem.

I struggle with this same issue myself. For some reason I often feel less qualified than others to respond to a post, or offer my advice. WHY?

I think it’s because I know my failures, I can’t even answer my own questions, why would I think I could answer their’s. Other people always seem to say the right things, and my advice seems so insignificant.

BUT, the FACT of the matter is, that someone needs my advice, and someone needs your advice too. What if someone is going through something that you just went through yourself. Whether you handled your own situation well or not, your input for them could have massive impact, and determine their success in the matter.

Don’t ever minimize your ability to help someone else, because no one has your exact experience, or qualifications, and that may be precisely what that person needs to move forward.

Are You Worn Out, Frustrated, Confused…Ready To Change Your Story?

Your Life is meant to impact other people's lives, and it is whether you know it or not, so why not impact them in the most positive way possible. By Living the Story you were designed to LIve! Start Living your best Story in your Career, Your Marriage, Your Spiritual Walk, Your Finances, and your Fitness...It's Time To Change Your Story. Are You Ready?