That will give you a coffee fix for the rest of today.The airlines will need to lay on extra flights come Fridays to get this lot back to Scotland, and it will push up the price of rented accommodation in central London, at the expense of us all, and Mr Salmond will be on the news 24 hours a day.You must be "cock a' hoop" currently.

There were chaotic scenes across England today as tens of thousands of people fled the country rather than stay and face up to the prospect of the Scottish National Party taking power. The crisis reached a tipping point as today’s Daily Mail front page headline, ‘Scottish Natzis coming to kill your families and drive down house prices’, triggered widespread panic.

In towns and cities across the country, the army had to be called to restore order after several banks were stormed by desperate pensioners looking to withdraw life savings and leave the country, despite being told that all the money was gone anyway. The government appealed for calm, while admitting privately that that an SNP-Labour deal on May 8th would see Scottish nationalists pouring over the border spreading disease and eating English children to keep their strength up on their relentless march to Westminster.

In the capital there was widespread looting and rioting as hysterical crowds drunk on the words of Piers Morgan went on the rampage amid rumours that Nicola Sturgeon and her barbarian hordes had already reached Watford Gap Services. ‘It’s no exaggeration to say that the SNP are the greatest threat to civilisation ever known to mankind,’ wrote Morgan in his Mail Online column. ‘Greater even than the threat posed by ISIS, Hitler and the films of Adam Sandler.’

Broadcasting from his bunker below Downing Street, David Cameron spoke to the nation on Monday evening and invoked the spirit of Winston Churchill. ‘Just as we stood together against Hitler, so must we stand up against Nicola Sturgeon as she attempts to conquer Britain by surrendering our nuclear weapons and spending the money on education and hospitals. No, hang on, that can’t be right….’

Meanwhile along the north coast of France coastguards and emergency services have been working round the clock to cope with boat loads of Daily Mail readers crossing the Channel in dangerously overcrowded makeshift vessels.

‘They come here seeking a better life and to get away from persecution,’ said François Berthand, manager of the Calais Detention Centre known locally as ‘Little England’. ‘They come here telling tales of being forced to eat Tunnocks tea-cakes, ceilidh dancing and longer-term deficit reduction strategies. Some weep uncontrollably and hug and kiss us. When they start being nice to the French, you know something must have really spooked them’.

It's a Tory plot, with 2 possible goals. First is to make us all not bother to vote, thinking it's a foregone conclusion. They are secretly mobilising all their resources in Scotland to get every blue-rinsed Tory in the country to vote, giving them an unexpected landslide here. So don't forget to vote, put a stop to this sinister manoeuvre.

Or (perhaps more likely) they know Scotland will be Tory-free again in a few weeks, no matter what they do, so don't want Labour to score here either. They are trying to secure themselves an absolute majority by bigging up the SNP vote (harming Labour), raising the spectre of a hideous Miliband/Salmond/Satan coalition and frightening the English into deserting Labour down there in droves. Daft as it may sound, a potentially massive SNP vote plays right into Cameron's hands. He thinks.

So don't believe the polls. And remember a vote for Nicola is a vote for Cameron. Or for Miliband. Or possibly for Scotland.

I am astonished that our current SNP supporters on this website, find both the time and the effort to trawl the media daily- seizing on anything that might further their cause. and purveying it here to convince us that if we do not accept it as gospel then we are complete dunderheads.At least the constant bombardment of daily offerings through the post is not quite so vitriolic but full of promises which might or might not materialise.The only bright thing about all this activity, is that come next Thursday, hopefully, once the negotiations are over that we may have about 5 years cessation of nastiness.However, given our current crop of activists, this seems doubtful.

. . . the constant bombardment of daily offerings through the post isnot quite so vitriolic

. . . once the negotiations are over that we may have about 5 years cessation of nastiness. However, given our current crop of activists, this seems doubtful.

Jim, I don't think any of the correspondents on here are indulging in 'nastiness', neither do I think Bill, myself or Stevie are purveyors of vitriol.

I know the other parties are keen to push the idea that anything SNP supporters say is 'nasty' and 'vitriolic', but I would have thought you - as a bit of a journalist yourself - would have the nous to read between the lines and recognise smear tactics when they see them.

So Jim, if that is what you think of us - that we are 'nasty' and 'vitriolic' and that our comments have no substance - then perhaps you can point to specific words or phrases we have used that have given you that impression, rather than making what I am afraid I can only describe as vague and unsupported accusations?

I was in no way referring to your, Bill's or Steve's personal contributions to this debate.In fact I feel that Bill, although a saltire waving zealot, still can see counter arguments with some merit.No, I was referring to the stuff which you foist on to the website from outside sources in furtherance of your cause.Quite frankly some of it is in very poor taste, and qualifies for the description "gutter press" .Not that your own particular persuasions are the only ones guilty of this fall from grace, but if you cast a view over the whole subject since it's inception, you will see that I have never posted anything from an outside media source, but purely relied on pointing any contrary opinions to your torrent of "clips".

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