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Friday, November 25, 2011

Time To Make A Buck Or Two Off The Black Friday Crew!

You know the economy or at least your wallet or purse or whatever you call it, could get a whole lot better if you exploit the Black Friday nuts. Who swing their butts and guts, trampling over little old ladies while acting as if they have won a Mercedes.

On Black Friday it seems brain cells go out the window and the brain shuts begin to flow. How that is different from most other days I do not know. But even the most slow person seems to hit a new low. Oh! A big dollar off I must have it! As the stupid person grabs it in a fit.

So since everything is magically wonderful on this day and people will buy anything on display. Especially if it says sale on the thing, even though that is mostly a BIG FAKE word they sling. For a few weeks before they jack up the price, then on Black Friday put it back to normal pretending to be nice. And many are a stupid fool, thinking they got a sale that's oh so cool.

Remember to wear a freaky Jason face mask and now I get back on task. For I promised to show you how to make a buck or two off the Black Friday crew. So here you go, just remember to kickback some to my show.

Do you have some boxes lying around? Hide the shopping carts so they cannot be found. Then sell the shoppers a box for ten bucks. Some would do it, the silly ducks. Or tear up the sides and sell them to the store. After all they may want to write SALE some more. Then they can re-use and give it to the guy who who holds up "The World Is Ending" outside loos.

Sell mosquitoes by the jar. This idea could go very far. Since the stores are sucking ones wallet dry, may as well help and let the little buggers fly. Could suck an enemy's blood or tell you if anything else is in that mud. This could really be the next big wave. Mosquitoes by the jar everyone could crave.

Do you have a dog or a fluffy cat? You can sell their hair, how about that? Yes, people actually use dog hair to knit. I guess it is quite the hit. So the more your dog and/or cat sheds the greater your return spreads. You can even make SALE signs spelled out in hair. It will make you seem like you have that much more flair.

I tried to avoid this but it seems to bring people such bliss. Just do a quick search on ebay and any sane persons nose will curl in dismay. You can sell poo! Even that which comes from you. If you make it all nice and artistic that is. Poo seems to be quite the biz. They have mouse poop neck laces and Insta poop in pretty cases. So take the shovel out back and throw the dog poo in a sack. Hell, I could have insta pringle cans full of it. YOU ARE NUTS IF YOU BUY SHIT!

A blind date would work well too. No! Not with me or you. That is just scary and besides the cat is too hairy. All you have to do is get many to sign up for it and then pair them up bit by bit. Hopefully there is an even number too or a threesome could come into view. The cat will not go there but I am sure it will be quite the affair.

Sell them an alien abduction and use your vaccum for suction. Sell them a trip to the zoo and once they pay let them in the store to view. A bucket of sand, saying they will be investing in a diamond worth twenty grand. A trip to the moon and tell them to meet the cow at noon. See just be inventive and your wallet will fill. People will buy anything if they think they can save a whole dollar bill.

The facts of Black Friday are, one should not stray far. Remain home and do not roam. Or go be fooled by the stores tricks as they take in money like bricks. Well you could still be paying off what you buy until next Black Friday gives a cry. Truly can be a brainless mass and that is all from my little rhyming ass.

When whacko U.S. shoppers go stomp over each other to get a oh so big saleAnd the sales rain down like hailBasically it's called Black FridayBecause on that dayIt supposedly takes stores from the red, i.e. a lossTo the black, i.e. they now have money to toss

Yeah but so far us Canadians are as crazyEither that or we're just lazy..hahaHopefully it stays that wayAnd the stores stop being a copy cat with their sale display

sell mosquitos by the jar? that will surely get you far, black friday is bride of gluttony, poking gouging biting sick, grab the toy before them and they might kick you in the...ahem...crazy people going broke, so on christmas their kids might choke on their bought love, by jove...i think i just might stay at home.

hahaha after hearing about how I might get kicked belowPat will surely stay at his showExcept for getting cat foodBut I doubt they will have a black friday broodYes that oh so mysterious toyNext year it will be crap and there will be another oh joy

haha I sooo like being crazySure beats being lazyBut today I will be just thatSo I don't get smushed flat

Yeah soooo trueThey whine whenever one comes into viewYet they are the nuts the bought the stuffSo let them stew in their own little huff

Fortunately Pat we dont have here Black fridays but I always herad about this, but sometimes the shopping center mad something similar, is horrible and you have reason... and you are so funny:) after all Pat is only about money,money,money...

I don't leave the house on Black Friday.How insane to go stand in the mall parking lot at 3am just so you can be the first in the door at 5am! The tv news always has video clips of people stampeding each other. Crazy. One time a big woman fell while running through the door and her wig popped off of her head. They ran that clip a dozen times. How funny. How humiliating for her. Geesh.

We had a friend that worked in retail and he did say that they jack up the prices just before a sale...then the sale price is really the original price...no sale at all and everyone falls for it. Crazy!

Last year I did almost all of my shopping online...so nice.

OK..selling pet hair? Why didn't I think of that. I'd have a sack full of Nuggets hair every week. It could cover my expense of cat food!

And if you start selling tickets to the zoo, I want a cut. After all, if they are going to be coming here to gawk at the animals I should profit from it. ha.

LOL!!! All my friends and family went out last night for a Black Friday run. My cousin went to one at WALMART!!! For the love of God, really?? Everything there is already marked down to nothing.

Do people really sell poo on ebay? That has to be illegal....Either way, it's grosss!!!! What do people do with it? Use it as fertilizer???

Being only 5 feet tall, I stay FAR away from Black Friday shopping in fear of being trampled. Every year I hear of at least 2 people that die...shopping can't be fun if your life is literally at risk. Sigh...

its a black friday for me alright. was thrown into a business pc suddenly (cuz they didn't have working biz reporters) and i was pretty lost. and just now, i witnessed a group of men beat up the owner of the bar across my office !

sounds like mad friday to me...smiles...but what do i know as a german..smiles..honestly..we have this sales rush as well where people buy stupid and useless things just because they are on sale... i have a deal with myself... i always ask myself one question... "would i buy it as well if it were not on sale...?" if the answer is no - i walk away..

I will not go out.It would make me want to scream and shout.But I think I can be a hit on e-bay.With dog hair AND poop I'll be the wonder of the day.Time to sweep and scoop the yard.Then settle down with some Shakespeare and enjoy the bard.

Yep Fortunately they escape us as wellSo we don't have to dive down into that hellSo very trueMoney and Greed is all the shopping centers have in view

hahahaha never seen the wig popping off oneSure that was played over and over a tonTotally nuts standing there freezingCoughing and wheeezingFor 5 hours or soJust to get in front of the traffic flowYep I worked there for a while tooAnd that is just what they doJack it up nice and highThe do two for one or have a sale when really it's a lieThe only time they actually do a sale for realIs when they have tons of stock left to dealBecause it costs them more to keep it for the yearly audit/countSo once again they are only looking out for themselves by lowering the amountAll my shopping is doneI don't have to step into another store until after the christmas funHoarded enough stuff away for a month or soSo I can avoid all the nuts at my showYeah pet hair seems to be a biz on the riseOr a weird past time in disguiseCould make a ton off your zooAlthough the skunk may make many turn blue

Yeah the crazy peeople stomping over one anotherSure they were taught better by their mother

hahaha yeah I know it is so pointless to doYou aren't really saving a whole lot either, sad but trueThe same deals will come about againAnd there won't be so many crazy men and womenYes so so so sadThey sell mouse poo necklaces and stuff thinking it is radOr at least they didNot sure if they still have such things to place a bidFertilizer is the only thing I can think off to use it forAnything else that popped into my head deserves no encore..hahaYes you would get stomped over for sure being so smallMight punt you around like a football..hahaYeah every year someone diesAnd no matter the criesThe nuts do the same the next yearTruly does strike fear

Damn you seem to be having quite the sucky dayFriday truly has given you dismayHopefully saturday will be more pleasant for youOr at least give you something new..haha

Yes let's hope it always does stay that wayDon't want to see a black friday display

hahaha bah still one day left before the weekendPlus I rant away, it's a growing trend

hahaha groceries too?Damn some of you down below are wacko when a sale comes into view

Mindless apes would be the correct termSome with a weirdo permnot buy anything day would also be niceShould be done way more than once or twice

That seems like a pretty good question to askMany more should use that for each shopping taskMaybe there would be less whiners aboutAnd they would not twist and shoutHaving some money left overGetting a bone for poor rover

Good refusal I will sayIgnore the stupid sale displayBled red you saySo glad I avoid that crap at my bay

hahahahaha yeah that whole 50 centsJust makes them seem soo dense

hahaha yeah quite the hit you will beCould even do a buy one can of dog hair get some poo free..hahaha

hahahaha nope I was at workAnd unable to lurkMy strat filled cans just would not sellPeople told me to go straight to hellI guess ebay is the place to beSo people won't smell and flee..haha

I admit it would be fun to watch maybeBut the border is a good 4-5 hours away from mePlus no passport so I am stuckAnd can't fly south like a duck

hahaha you sure you don't need that dog hair scarfCould throw in a touch of something to make you umm barfYes weird indeedBizarre also takes the leadBut that waffle iron they must have itSo they think it justify's their fit

hahaha I just read that tooGod that is just stupid for someone to doBrian was rightBe sure and wear a cup if you join the black friday plightJust in case they have no maceAnd kick you in a certain place

My jet is all out of gasSend me some money, I'll fill it up and be there is a flash with my little rhyming ass

Wow, you just nailed my take on this Black Friday phenomenon. The whole thing is crazy. The Poo idea I did not know, I did hear of one selling off their fingernails, or implants too. But Poo, poo poo, that just yuck.. But then again the back lawn does get filled, instead of the trash, the shovel could go into to-go bags. And in the winter poopsicles could be had. The alien abduction idea is great. how bout those star registries, one of these black friday nuts is probably thinking about potential stars to sell off some real estate- Tash could help with that I'm sure. The jacking up the price thing makes me cringe, as I buy K-cups from this one place all the time for 11.99, but today they advertise 20% off until 1pm, but when I got their at 12 today the price was not exactly the MSRP of 18.99, so that's 3.80 off, which comes out to 15.19 or should I say a sale and a savings of $3.20 above the normal selling price. Yeah, and then you have the nuts, the real nuts, like that lady in California today, macing a bunch in line, all to ensure she can get the deal she likes.

Great socially conscious piece here today Pat. Hope all the Retailers get a sniff of that. Thanks

Yeah, I need a new pie plate alright!Maybe I'll walk into Wal-mart and ruin their sightspraying pepper spray at anyone nearthe isle that holds bakeware and gear.Then I can plead temporary insanityor Black Friday fever came over me.Think it would work?Maybe I'd get 2 for 1 if I stay and lurk.And what are you doing working on Friday?I'm sure that gave you some dismay!

Yeah the whole thing is completely and utterly nutsPeople are just blind following muttsThey are not getting one over on the storeThe store always wins as soon as they open the doorJust as you have sceneYet they still go and spend their greenThat lady was a crazy batAnother dumb black friday ratThose star registries things are sooooo stupid tooAll I can say to them is whoopdi friggin dooI think the bad BO of all the people waiting in lineMight drown out the sniffing retailers to the rant of mine..haha

hahaha that might get you a new pie plateOr handcuffs could be your fateIt is assualt after allMaybe if you added in a cat callMeowing could make you seem loonieEven hand them a Canadian toonieThen go "eh" at them a couple timesEven through in some rhymesThey'll give it to your for freeThinking all the marbles have fallen out of your tree..hahaOffice decorating party thingSo I went it for a ringOrlin was quite upsetHasn't even got off my lap yet..hahaha

hahaha that gas is a delicate instrument you knowIf I let too much flowThe world might begin to rhyme all over the placeAnd that black friday money thrower may hit you in the face..haha

Yep the marbles would have fallen out of the treeand rolled into the sea.I'd be locked up for yearsunless I rhymed off their ears.Then I could thank youif they sent me back to my zoobecause they had had enoughand undid my handcuffs.ha.

Poor Orlin missed youhe knew with the calendar you screwed.I really believe they can tell timeeven if the sun doesn't shine.

haha see all these months of rhyming will pay offYou'll make the guards scoffAnd then tell you to shooSo once again you can be back home at your zoo

Yes they can tell when you screw with their schedule and change things upHe knew it was a hiccupAnd not really a work daySucked up around me with quite the displayWhile Cassie came for a quick greetRubbed against my feetAnd had quite enough of thatWalking off like the oh so miss priss of a cat..hahaha

Yeah it is soooo stupid to the highest degreeAnd completely and utterly crazy

and...if I dream of Wilbur the five-headed wild boar tonightand scream out in frightI will come to bush number threeand make you pay, you got me? lol....And no, Elizabeth and a food standwill not make it better in any land.So bad dreams will get you in troublethe fines I may even double.hahahaha

hahahahaha bah Charlotte will build a dream catcher and keep Wilbur awayBut I built a steel door on my bush for displaySo if you come after meI'll jump in the crack and fleeSlamming the door shutHiding in its umm buttOh that just sounds so badBut Facky Tracks sure did help that Jack ladTwice in factThree times if you count his first illegal theft act

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About Me

Orlin the cat is the rhyming king, all kinds of entertainment and fun I bring. Pat sometimes gets a vote when he has something to say of note. But it is mostly the cat here at our mat. Pat is owned by my myself and Cassie, who is rather sassie. The two cats and Pat reside somewhere in Nova Scotia and "eh" isn't part of our chat. So here at Bush #5, you can balk, poke fun and just enjoy my hive. If you can't then find some sand from any land, pick it up off the ground and proceed to pound. See what fun I can be? So enjoy my sea where the absence of a plot is a plot and now that is all out of me.