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Topic: confused (Read 10265 times)

Just wondering if I could get your thoughts on what think are my completely irrational thoughts.

6-8 weeks ago I went, for the first time in my life, to a gay sex club. All I did there was wank myself - I wouldn't let anyone touch my cock there. People brushed past me and groped me. One guy came and kissed my neck.

I also kissed two guys on the lips during the same period, tongues were used for a couple of seconds maximum.

I also frequented a couple of cottages where two guys wanked me off.

I have now found a man who I am building a relationship with. We kiss with tongues, he has sucked me off and wanked me, but no more than that. When he sucked me he scraped the head of my penis and part of the shaft with his teeth and it made a small mark/sore.

What are the chances of hiv infection from these experiences? I'm so paranoid, have irrational thoughts and just need some good, clear advice. I have not sucked anyone, or fucked/been fucked atall.

About 6 weeks ago I cam down with a really bad cold - very chesty cough, blocked nose, lots of sneezing, headaches (feeling like my head is full of gunk)- though I heard that these cold symptoms aren't related to hiv infection.

I last tested for HIV in May and everything was clear.

I think because I have this new relationship, I just want to make sure I am ok - for my sake and his.

Nothing you are reporting amongst your activities put you at risk for HIV. The ONLY confirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV are unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. That's it. As long as condoms are used consistently for those activities you will be well protected.

We do advise anyone who is sexually active to at least annually have a full STD panel done. Other STDs are much easier to acquire than HIV. But this time around you are worrying needlessly and there is no need for HIV testing.

If you develop a relationship with this new fellow you should keep on using condoms for intercourse. The only time to safely dispense with using condoms is if and when you are in a securely monogamous relationship in which both partners reliably test negative together.

As for guilt about having gone to a sex club --- listen, you're just a guy and you did what you did. Guilt doesn't serve anyone well. Accept it as a part of your history, take a breath, (really), let it go and get on with your life.

Please make sure your new partner has also been tested for all STIs (you should do this as well), not just hiv, before you two decide to go without condoms. And please only do this (no condoms) in the context of a securely monogamous relationship.

Good luck with your new man. It sounds like you two can speak openly about things and that's great. It can be difficult to find a relationship where honesty and forthrightness are present.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Yes, I was also tested for other STI's and will get those results next week.

I have spoken a lot with my partner about everything, and believe he is honest with me. He last had a full screening for everything in July and was clear. He had full sex with one guy, but it was all safe.

However, we will both test again in a couple of months and I wouldn't go without condoms until that point, if atall. I know he told me his last partner, of four years, was always with condoms.

As long as you're using condoms - and using them correctly so they don't break - when you fuck, you will be protected. Read through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use them correctly and with confidence.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

My partner got some results back today - well, four text messages saying 'no infection' - though I've said to him he needs to call to find out which infection tests those relate to exactly. He was only tested yesterday.

I got my Chlamydia and Gonorrhoea results back today, too - all clear.

I have a question - is an hiv+ infected person more likely to have another STI that they would pass on as well as the HIV?

Thanks, as always.

EDIT: What I'm trying to find out is if a person is HIV+ positive, is there a higher chance they'd be infected with some other STI's meaning that if my partner tested negative for chylmadia etc is it less likely he'd have hiv?

An person infected with HIV is no more or less likely to have another STI as the general population. I mean, if that's what you are asking.

We are not, after all, simply chock full of disease.

Logged

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

I've merged your threads. In the future please follow the rule of the site and use only this same thread to post entries. Thanks for your cooperation.

An indeterminate result is actually fairly common and a number of factors can cause that to happen. But the important thing is that you ultimately tested negative. False positives can happen but not false negatives as long as the test is done at the proper time, which is at 3 months after a risk to be conclusive.

You really didn't have a risk to begin with since you had protected intercourse. Unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse are the only confirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV.

You are HIV negative. Get on with your life and make sure to keep using condoms for intercourse. Every time.

As Andy said, you are reliably HIV negative. There is no sense continuing to worry or test.

Logged

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

You are making your situation way more complicated than it needs to be by getting caught up in a myriad of details.

The bottom line is that you have reliably tested negative for HIV. And in terms of sexual risk you'll stay negative as long as you consistently use condoms for vaginal and anal intercourse. Yes, it really is just that simple.

■Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

I am not doubting anything any one has said to me - I am just curious to know.

A quick, simple and concise answer (which is generally what I have found on this forum) would be far more helpful.

I am only asking these questions as I have not received any helpful advice elsewhere and thought that considering the amount of knowledge held by yourselves, that you were the correct people to ask. Sorry if this is too much trouble.

I received unprotected oral sex twice. On this occasion he accidentally scraped the head of my penis and foreskin with his teeth which made it very sore, looking like skin had been 'scraped' off and resulting in it taking a few days to heal.

We french kissed when I had a bad gum infection.

I fingered his anus.

The past couple of weeks I had had pains in my neck and back of head, though I couldn't really feel the glands swollen. I felt a kind of non-existant lump just above my adams apple, which felt tight. I discovered a lump on the roof of my mouth this week, which appears to be like a spot, pink coloured and painless. The roof of my mouth has gone slightly orange. I've had spots come up on the top side of my lower arms, very sore, and when i squeeze them a clear liquid comes out. The bruise after I've squeezed them. I got a pain in my armpit last night and this morning can see a flat, red spot which hurts when I touch - but i cant feel any lump.

Are these symptoms of infection? I'm so worried and am panicking, so hope you can help by giving me your opinion.

If an antobody result was equivocal and confirmed at a reference lab as negative, and a further test two months later again came back as equivocal (but wasn't sent to reflab), would this mean hiv infection is still likely or something else is causing the results? No unprotected anal sex has taken place. Surely a 2/3 month gap between equivocal results would show up as either positive or negative by then (should it infact be a case of hiv infection)?

It is my partner who has the equivocal results, over a period of time three tests have been equivocal (Im not sure if these are Elisa tests or WB). Twice they have been confirmed at a reference lab as negative, but not the last test as they said there had been no change to the previous test..This has gone on for 12 months now - surely if he were truly positive the last result or even the one two months before would have turned to positive by now? The first equivocal test was 12 months before.

By "equivocal", do you mean "indeterminate"? I've never heard the word equivocal being used for any hiv test result.

If your partner is positive, he would have had a definite positive result by now. The hiv testing window period is only three months. It sounds to me as though the doctor and/or lab consider his results as negative.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Yes, the clinic told him his results were equivocal - though I believe it means the same as indeterminate.

His results are as follows:

August 2010 - equivocal, tested at reference lab and came back negativeJuly 2011 - equivocal, tested at reference lab and came back negativeSeptember 2011 - equivocal, not sent to reference lab as they say there was no change in the result from the previous test (I guess no change in Elisa colour or band in WB test).

Not sure if the Elisa test is showing as equivocal or if its a WB - the clinic havent said.

The only risk is protected anal sex (giving and receiving) and oral sex.

I'm in a blind panic over what these results could mean and no-one seems to really know how to interpret them. Though seeing as its been going on over 12 months, surely they would have turned positive by the last test?

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

My partner tested again this week - got the result this morning - after a further six months on no-risk the result is exactly the same as the test in September, and the July before that. So, no evolving serology.

Do you think this would confirm he is negative and that his result is due to non-specific antibodys or some other reason? Surely he would show positive by now?! 18 months have passed since the first test result.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Yes, he actually got a weakly reactive, as he did in all the other tests - on the document is states weakly reactive but on the computer it says equivocal, so the same thing, basically.

They think it could be a flu/swine flu vaccine affecting the result, as it is since he has had those that his results are showing in this way.

However, I now think that as six months have passed even since the last test that a positive would show in three months anyway, right? I mean that's double the normal window period time, plus a further year on top of that.

Is this latest result an antibody test, or an antibody test plus a Western Blot that are both indeterminate?

Have they run an RNA PCR test on him? That may answer some questions. However, I fully expect a PCR test to return negative results.

Why? Because in a person who actually has the virus, an indeterminate result will normally change to a strong positive by six weeks after infection has taken place. It's been eighteen months now since infection may have taken place - so he'd be testing strongly poz on BOTH an antibody test and an WB test.

What are his doctors saying other than speculating about flu vaccines? (Flu vaccines are not going to still be affecting his hiv tests.)

I keep asking you about whether or not he's been screened for autoimmune disease - because this sounds like results caused by the presence of an autoimmune disease to me.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

You are making this issue way more complicated than it needs to be. By your own report you two have not had sex which would have put you at risk. I don't see HIV as an issue here.

Let it go and get on with your life. Really. Frankly we're not going to indulge in an endless rouind of what ifs in this situation. If you continue to return about this non-risk situation you are going to find yourself getting a Time Out from the site.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

However, I'm worried about myself now. I have oral thrush. Had a week of having yellow loose stools. My Tongue is stinging and burning. I e also had mild night sweats a few times.

In late December I had a small lump appear under the skin on my neck.

In September I went to a gay sex club - a guy followed me around and tried to grab my bum but hot the back of my leg. I'm not sure if he tried to stick a needle in me. I also went to a few public toilets where I as med but didn't touch anyone. Could I have been stuck with a needle there?

I've not had any sec even with my boyfriend but I'm so scared of the thrush etc as it says it is caused by HIV.

Or could my anxieties cause oral thrush? I tested negative on January 4th. About 5 weeks after the sex club incident. Is that test 110percent conclusive? Do I need to retest?

Yes, it is indeed taking over your life if you're starting to worry about being stuck with a needle - that is a tiresome urban legend and has no basis in reality. Nobody's ever been infected that way and you aren't going to be the first.

You haven't had a risk for hiv infection.

A white tongue does not equal thrush. Oral thrush hurts like hell and I really doubt you have thrush. Only a doctor can diagnose thrush - and even they get it wrong sometimes. Thrush can only really be diagnosed by having a swab of the area done and tests run on the sample. Unless you've been officially diagnosed with thrush, knock off with the self-diagnosis.

It sounds like you're sliding into irrational hiv phobia. Find yourself a therapist you can discuss this with before it completely takes over your life. We cannot help you with that here.

Neither you nor your boyfriend have hiv.

If you continue to post about this imaginary needle scenario, you'll quickly be given a Time Out.

Please consider yourself warned!!!

Oh, and please stop editing your posts to blank. I don't appreciate taking the time to answer your questions and then having you come along and delete those questions. I feel like I've wasted my time when you do that. The answers could help someone else, but not when you delete the questions. Nobody's going to know who you are, so don't give me the privacy excuse.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Yes, a fourteen week negative is conclusive regardless of the transmission route. Anything at or after twelve weeks is conclusive, although officially, the Yanks and Ozzies are a bit more anal than Brits and insist on thirteen weeks. Either is conclusive. In fact, I fully expect the window period to be dropped to six weeks sometime in the future. But for now, three months is golden.

Your doctor told you why you got thrush - you're run down after all the fretting you've been doing. (The phrase "I've been worried sick" didn't come about by accident, ya know!)

Every person living on the planet always has the organism that causes thrush on and in their bodies (Candida albicans) - it's just a fact of life. (You'd be amazed at how many organisms live on and in us.) Lots of things can throw the delicate balance off and cause an overgrowth of some organisms, and Candida albicans is notorious for overgrowth. Don't sweat it.

You may want to look at your diet - excess sugar and and some other things (have you been drinking a lot of beer or real ale?) can throw off the balance. You might want to start drinking one of the pro-biotic drinks on the market (ie Yakult). Google Candida albicans if you don't believe me.

If you're worried about your stool, see your doctor. He or she may want to run some liver tests (again, have you been drinking a lot lately?). It's nothing to do with hiv.

Good luck with the counseling. That's definitely the way to go.

Now get off the internet and do something that will take your mind off hiv. You do not have a problem with hiv.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

In September last year I went to a sex club and think that a guy stuck a needle in my leg.

Up to the end of October I had done something Im really ashamed of - I went cottaging and just wanked in some toilets. I didn't touch anyone and wouldn't let them touch me. However, in a few places I wanked, there was some fresh looking cum...I'm freaked out as I'm worried that when I was wanking I got some of this cum on the end of my dick, and heard that if it got on the mucuous membrane of the penis that it could infect me.

Fast forward to January this year, and I tested for HIV, with a duo test, it was negative. This was about 15 weeks post possible needle exposure and about 6 or 7 weeks minimum after the cottaging thing.

Two weeks or so before the test in January I started getting some weird symptoms - I felt generally unwell, a tightness in my throat, a lump came up on the side of my neck for about 5 days and there was one day where my whole body felt like there was a motor running through it, sort of tingle and numb at the same time.

Stupidly, in January this year I went to some public toilets, two times, for a wank - again, there was semen in the urinal, and I'm not sure that my cock touched it - but I;d seen the guy ejaculate in it about a minute or so before.

In March my tongue felt tingly and prickly. The doctor said I had oral thrush. The tongue went white, some red dots appeared on the tip of it, and it felt like little ulcers on it. I started to get Burning Mouth Syndrome.

The white tongue and burning mouth I still have to this day. I did a thrush swab and it was negative in April. I also had a full blood count in April which was ok, too. But I was diagnosed with a fatty liver - I have put on a lot of weight the past 12 months. LFT was ok, though, strangely.

The white tongue and tingling sensation continue still - some doctors say its thrush, others say its not. The dentist says theres a bit of candida but its not thrush. He says a dry mouth could be causing it.

I'm terrified to have another hiv test, as i feel that something is definitely wrong with the white tongue. I'd never had it before.

So, some questions:

1. Does this sound like hiv infection? Do the symptoms I mention concern you?

2. Could HIV got inside me through my penis in this way if it came into contact with the cum via the mucuous membrane? Has infection ever occured like this?

3. Is there a need for testing?

4. Could the white tongue and burning mouth be due to extreme anxiety?

5. Are you able to recommend any kind of counselling I could have to eliminate my hiv fears?

You really ought to take a few minutes and re-read your rather lengthy posting history. We have answered questions about sneaky needles, gobs of leftover semen, and other completely NO RISK scenarios for a long time now.

HIV is sexually transmitted through penetrative anal and/or vaginal intercourse. You aren't going to get it from wanking in a puddle of someone else's semen. You aren't going to be randomly injected by some AIDS Fiend. You aren't going to get it from testing, or anything else.

I hope you take advantage of a mental health counselor to help you overcome what seems to be a rather overwhelming phobia and obsession with HIV. I cannot imagine that this site can possibly be of any more constructive use to you.

Logged

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

The white/burning tongue scares me as I've never had it before. I've seen about 5 different doctors, each who say a different thing - some say its thrush, others say its not, my dentist says there's some candida but its not thrush - I don't know who to believe.

I was put on Fluconazale but it did nothing. Nystatin did nothing.

The fact this has been going on for 7/8 months now worries me.

Thats why I have the fear that from my encounters, I did somehow get infected. I have not had any anal or oral sex.

The duo test after the cottaging incident last october was negative (6 or 7 weeks after incident). Though when I went again in january I haven't tested since.

Is there any possible way that I could have been infected in this way?

When cum hits the air, does it die instantly or weaken the virus immediately? Realistically, what are my chances I'm hiv positive?

You absolutely were NOT at risk when you wanked in public toilets. The only way doing anything in a public toilet is going to put you at risk if you're bending over and having unprotected anal intercourse (or unprotected topping) while there.

Hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus that is primarily transmitted INSIDE the human body, as in unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse where the virus never leaves the confines of the two bodies.

Once outside the body, small changes in temperature, and pH and moisture levels all quickly damage the virus and render it unable to infect. For this reason, there's no way in hell you're going to end up with hiv from cum in a urinal. NO WAY.

You again brought up the "he may have stabbed me with a needle" bullshit. I told you ages ago that is nothing more than an urban myth. knock it off already.

CBT is a good idea. We cannot help you with your hiv paranoia/phobia here.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Do you think that the white tongue and burning mouth could be due to my anxiety? Does anxiety cause oral thrush? There seems to be so much misinformation about this. Everything you can read points to hiv infection.