This blog is meant for the advancement, redemption, and self actualization of those who suffer from and are susceptible to bullying. Through the Four Pillars and their progeny, we can move forward and become the men we were meant to be!

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Sunday, June 21, 2015

One obstacle we sometimes face as beta males is lack of respect. We are often confronted by those who enjoy hearing the sound of their own voices, expect those around them to kowtow to their superiority, and seriously believe that pushing others around, with immunity and impunity, is their divine right. It's not only frustrating, it's dangerous - if you're not careful, all of the "just ignore them;" "it's the way they are;" and "don't take it personally;" rhetoric will serves to give these people a protective shield against any consequences.

There are always ways to deal with them -- here are some:

(1) Emotional Discipline: never lose your cool. People like this live to make other people upset. It's their point system, their merit badges, and their "likes." Do NOT, under any circumstances, give them an easy win. The Armor around your Heart should be at maximum srength, your frustration should be held in check, and your composure should be will within reach.

(2) Short Reaction Time: do not reflect on whatever bruises they left for more than five minutes. Anything beyond that stops being their doing, and starts becoming yours. Don't do their job for them.

(3) Preparation: Decide that next time they choose to reach in, you will handle them with respect, but firmness. Choose what you will allow, and what you won't.

(4) Boundaries: Explain to them that their actions are not acceptable, and if they choose to deal with you, they'll simply have to stop them.

(5) Consequences: This is where it can get tricky.

(A) Authority - do not engage in any action that contravenes the legitimate authority you have over you unless absolutely necessary. And it can only be absolutely necessary if you first notify that authority of what is happening.

(B) Response of Authority - if they act, and resolve the issue, don't aggravate it further. If they do not act, then and only then can you take action, because you now have a record of the problem.

(C) Position of Strength - if the next incident happens, remind them that the authorities know about them, that they are not the authorities, no matter how much they act like it, and that nothing they do will be tolerated.

(D) Attack Mode - remind them of their weaknesses. Their defeats. Their mistakes. Their shortcomings. Don't get distracted when they try to bring up yours, and don't let them intimidate you. At that point, they've run out of free passes.

(E) Preparation for Future Confrontations - now that you know how they are when it gets real, you'll be even better prepared for them next time. Unless they've actually shown enough cowardice to back down.

This list is, of course, not exclusive, and doesn't apply to any and all situations. However, it's a much more civilized and controlled method of responding to disrespect in most settings.

DISCLAIMER: This blog does not condone violence of any kind. Let someone else handle that. Of course, measures must be taken to defend yourself from imminent harm, but striking out in violence solves nothing. We are not savages or neandrathals. And yes, I'll say it once more, we are not ruled by the alphaganda, and we do not live in a comic book. Let the animals behave like animals. Don't be one.

We've recently heard at least two stories involving people who sought to essentially be people they weren't. I think I've had enough of that, and I'll present the Bold Betas take on it all.

(1). We all have temporal characteristics and immutable characteristics.

(2). The temporal characteristics are our thoughts, passions, opinions, and overall maturity level. It is expected that these traits change as we grow, learn, and reach self-actualization.

(3). The immutable characteristics are those that define us are those meant to remain constant before and after self-actualization. Growing and learning cannot alter them - rather, growing and learning only make those characteristics stronger.

(4). Some think that these immutable characteristics are somehow optional, and can be altered at any time. They are sadly mistaken.

(5). We are the human race. By definition, we are all made distinct, discrete, and unique. We have many different nationalities, several distinct cultures, and two genders.

(6). Without mocking those who produce and create science fiction, the human race simply can't be anything else. We were never meant to be one uniform group of all one nationality or culture, and it goes against our very being to be only one gender.

(7). You are not becoming your own true self if you are thinking of altering any of these immutable characteristics. You are destroying your own true self. There is nothing brave, courageous, open-minded, tolerant, or accepting about doing so.

To be a Bold Beta is not to negate masculinity. Not by a long shot. It is to embrace the type of masculinity that is not governed by the alphaganda, rejects the "might makes right" way of living that others assume to be the only way, and to play up to those strengths that the alphaganda minimizes. Nowhere among these pages has there been a suggestion that a Bold Beta male become a woman. Nowhere has there been a suggestion that a woman become a man if she's unhappy being a woman.

And nowhere, for any reason, has there been a discussion of race on this blog. Nor will there ever be.

If you find yourself to be uncommon compared to other members of your faith, stripe, or club, embrace that uncommon-ness. That means being who you are, and not being who you are not.

I have now concluded my discussion of this subject.

DISCLAIMER: The above post does not insult, smear, besmirch, slander, belittle, or otherwise disrespect anyone who has already chosen to make such a transformation. It merely points out the fact that this type of transformation is the wrong move to make, and serves as an admonition to this blog's audience to never even consider it.

Sunday, June 7, 2015

Ahhh, what a beautiful Sunday afternoon -- I'm writing the first outdoor blog of the season!

In the past several years, there has been some talk in the "regular" media and social media demanding that some people "check their privilege." I respectfully disagree.

You've seen me, time and time again, write about the destructive evils of bullying. To me it's quite literally the path to the dark side. My two-fold solution to this problem has been for us Bold Betas to, in a nutshell, become Bold and Bulletproof so that we can withstand any attack against us; and for those who perpetrate bullying to be taught how to be behave. When this is accomplished, we Bold Betas reach self-actualization through a disciplined course of emotional maturity, and those who perpetrate bullying learn to stop being aggressive when they shouldn't be, and to be only aggressive when they absolutely must be.

But as Bold Betas, we are not only easy targets for bullying, we are also easy targets for shaming. Stereotypically speaking, we are expected to be always-forgiving, non-assertive, docile, compliant, and consistently accommodating to others. If we have something of value that others lack, we are faced with pointing fingers and clucking tongues that admonish us for not being "beta enough." If we come from a background that provided us with some slight advantage that strengthened us, we are slammed and criticized for not being "open minded" enough to understand someone else's plight, and we are expected to believe that the others' disadvantages somehow make them morally superior to us.

Gentlemen: Don't fall for this.

Whatever "privileges" we have are strengths, and not weaknesses. Unlike the overly-aggressive types, we do not use our strengths to cause harm to those who have less than we do. We do rub our accomplishments in others' faces. We do not shove people around with whatever confidence we have. If we are Bold and Bulletproof, we use these "privileges" wisely in order to make our lives better. These is nothing at all wrong with doing that.

Not to mention, if we choose to help those who lack what we have, on our own volition, and without being guilted or shamed into doing so, this is also using our "privileges" wisely.

It is only when these "privileges" are intentionally used to harm others that they need to be "checked," and not just because someone is angry that they don't have them. By the same token, it seems to me that these finger-pointers and shame-artists need to "check" their desire to judge and blame. How much better can their lives be if all they do is "rage against the gods," like the antihero of an ancient Greek tragedy, instead of overcoming their disadvantages, as we do?

Never be ashamed of who you are. Never minimize your accomplishments. Never be less proud of yourself just because someone else has not accomplished what you've done.

Conversely, don't get a swelled head. Don't attack those who have less than you. Don't be like the overly-aggressive types that I've spoken out against. Don't insult, disparage, or judge those who did not make the same choices you did. This way, when they demand that you "check your privilege," you can truthfully say that there's nothing to check.