But Peter Abraham talked to Brain Cashman and set the record straight.

As of 3:44, it's still on ESPN.com.

Do you think ESPN hands off all of their spurious reporting on baseball players of Latin descent to ESPN Deportes in an effort to get the scoop if it's right, and drive traffic in the meantime, but not harm the master brand if it's wrong?

I know this is no way "newsy" or current, but it's never the wrong time to make fun of the Mets.

I've listened to a lot of music in my life, but I can say with reasonable certainty that these are the two worst songs I've ever heard (aside from this one):

I'm going to put the over under of the amount of times "Dr. K." is said/sang in that song at 75. And take the over...

Notice the "sound effects" in the beginning. It's basically just some guy going "Sssshhhhhhh. Pppffff. Stteeeeerike One." into the microphone.

Here are some of the masterfully written lines which I painstakingly transcribed, just in case you overcame the masochistic impulses to keep listening, and turned it off after 15 seconds like any normal person should have.

Please note the commas, because the flow of the song is really that broken and choppy.

"There's a man named Gooden, from Tampa Bay, But the Big Apple calls him, Dr. Kkkkkk!He mows them down, with the greatest of ease,Bringing big league hitters, down to they knees,The number sixteen, is on his chest, and he does a mean thing, for the New York Mets"