You enter to find Devin sitting in a large leather chair reading a
ponderous tome. He looks up: "Oh hello, I didn't hear you come in.
Have a seat, won't you..."

****INTERRUPTION****
I've been told that this profile is too long. I can't help it. I
get bored when I'm supposed to be writing something productive, and
I write this instead. Is it too long? Very well, then it's too
long. I am large. I contain multitudes. Anyway, if you're a
tl;dr-type, skim down to the "private thing I'm willing to admit"
and the "you should message me if..." sections and if you like
what's there, then feel free to poke around the rest. Now back to
the regularly scheduled profile.
****END INTERRUPTION****

I pride myself on the fact that you can take me anywhere. I'm
equally comfortable eating lunch at a fancy club, playing in a
rugby match, singing show tunes at a gay bar in the west village,
staying in with board games, riding my motorcycle around the city,
staying up until 3 AM arguing philosophy, dancing to EDM, watching
a difficult piece of theater, learning something new in a class, or
just taking a walk and cracking jokes.

I was an actor and a teacher, but then I went back to school in a
dual MBA/MFA program at NYU, and finished classes a year ago
(though I still need to submit the thesis film for the MFA part).
Now I make things. Mostly produce. Some write. Little direct.

This means that I'm around the same group of people a lot, so while
it'd be lovely if you make my heart race and my mouth dry and we
instantly leave the world behind and move to the mountains of
Bolivia needing nothing but our love to keep us warm, I'm also
happy if you're just a cool person who can expand my social circle.
There's really a wide range of possibilities there.

- Knowing useless information.
- Playing games (the fun kind, not those of the heart).
- Intentionally making people laugh.
- Unintentionally making people laugh.
- Being a good person.
- High Fives.
- Doing a dead-on impression of a velociraptor.
- Eating at good restaurants (seriously, it's a skill. I know
people who are bad at it).
- Managing to talk to people on a dating site without turning into
anyone mentioned here:
http://jezebel.com/man-poses-as-woman-on-online-dating-site-barely-lasts-1500707724

This used to be just a bunch of big lists, but they always felt
either incomplete or like an information explosion, so I've changed
it.

Books: I read pretty much anything that's recommended to me and
enjoy both fiction and non-fiction, though I'm not really into
trade-paperback thrillers and the like. I do tend to like good
fantasy, and get pretty hipsterish about A Song of Ice and Fire (I
had been waiting not-so-patiently for A Dance with Dragons for six
years, and then all of these HBO-watching latecomers start the
series and get to just read through to the fifth book!? Psh,
whatever).

Movies: As you may have guessed from the whole "film school" thing,
I like movies a lot. I like a wide range though. My favorite movie
of all time is Dr. Strangelove (or How I Learned to Stop Worrying
and Love the Bomb), but the movie I've probably seen more than any
other is Wayne's World. I love the abstraction of Koyaanisqatsi,
but will also watch Legally Blonde every time I see it on TBS.
Also, you know that obscure pop culture reference you're making?
I'll get it.

TV Shows: I tend to watch more comedy than drama (though The Wire
is possibly my favorite show ever) and am a fan of the shows that
you would expect me to be a fan of given my demographic and
psychographic profile (Arrested Development, 30 Rock, The Simpsons,
Parks & Rec, Louie, Community when Dan Harmon is involved,
etc.). There's not really a lot that I'm keeping up with on a
weekly basis at this point though. Also, do yourself a favor, go on
Netflix, and watch Firefly.

Music: I like a little bit of everything, which to some people
means that I actually like nothing. Seriously though, why are you
being so judgmental, Those People? I'm not as into music as I am
into movies or books, but I enjoy being introduced to new things
that I like. You know that list you have on your profile? Yeah, I
like some of those artists, but other ones I don't know too much
about. Won't you teach me? Also, no matter how much I like Mumford
& Sons or Janelle Monae, I will never relinquish my love of
early-90s West Coast hip-hop and Seattle grunge. Also, The Who is
the greatest band of all time.

- The future.
- Ways to make the future better.
- The efficiency of my path.
- Funny things that should be turned into sketches or movies.
- Things that people usually only find interesting while high,
though I'm sober at the time.
- What should go here.
- How it is that an entire class of film school students can not
get a basic Sondheim reference.
- What it means about me that so many of my 95%+ matches seem to be
23 year olds from Brooklyn.

UPDATE: Someone recently referred to me as a "quick-witted Andy
Dwyer," which I took as a high compliment and, when that was
shared, others agreed without hesitation. So if that sounds like
your thing, I'm your man.

...you're sick of feeling like you have to act less intelligent
than you are in order to make insecure guys feel comfortable.
...you think that nothing's too serious to joke about and jokes are
meant to be taken seriously.
...you're the second coming of Nellie Bly or Ida B. Wells.
...you're looking for someone to play Catan with (or Carcassonne,
or Dominion, or Pandemic, or Munchkin, or whatever your favorite
game is).
...you don't mind that I basically made this whole profile a bunch
of lists.
...you've read The Ethical Slut and agree with many of the ideas in
there, but get frustrated at how poorly written a book it actually
is.
...related to the above, you have a strong sense of compersion and
you view that as a preferred trait in a match rather than just an
accepted one.
...you think Frank and Claire Underwood actually have a pretty
great marriage (UPDATE: I may be changing my mind after season
three).
...you're a brilliant writer, actor, or artist who wants to
collaborate.
...you're a brilliant writer, actor, or artist in general,
actually.
...you obsessively check Sporcle.com before you go to bed.
...you understand that it's possible for me to be both a
cis-gendered male and a sex-positive feminist with no hint of
contradiction.
...you prize silliness as an crucial trait in a potential
match.
...you actually read this whole thing.
...you're awesome. I love people who are awesome.