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Heartless Bastards bring their inglorious indie sound to the Triple Nickel next Thursday.

I was already pretty excited to write up this week's "testament," when — lo and behold — this comes into my inbox, and from the likes of one David Cantrell at the Rocket Room, no less: "booked fang for tues may 11... got room? Xoxo." To which I replied something to the likes of, "Fang!? F#*k yeah, I got room!" And seriously, no hugs and kisses needed! I haven't seen Fang since my crappy old punk band, the Deadites, opened up for them at the Underground in '97!

Fang, for those of you who have not followed any significant history of punk rock over the last, oh, 30 years, is the band responsible for the track "Fun With Acid" on the legendary Not So Quiet on the Western Front Californian compilation. They also did what is (in this humble writer's opinion) one of the greatest punk rock songs of all time, "The Money Will Roll Right In," most famously performed by Nirvana at the Reading Festival, 1992 (and recorded most excellently by Mudhoney and, unfortunately, most dreadfully by Metallica). Not surprisingly, these facts are often overshadowed by this line, found on Wikipedia, but noticeably excluded from their current MySpace bio: "The band broke up in 1989 when key member Sam McBride was sent to prison for killing his girlfriend, Dixie Lee Carney."

Yes, sir — spun off his rocker on heroin — the dude strangled his girlfriend, served six years from manslaughter, changed his name to Sammytown, and since has rehabilitated himself into one of the nicest and most down-to-earth people you could ever have the pleasure of meeting. (At least that's how I remember it!) For more info, hit 'em up at myspace.com/fangofficial. You're gonna wish you did. You'll feel pretty stupid.

Next up, a word of advice ... Get tickets for next Thursday's show at the Triple Nickel with the Heartless Bastards, Hacienda and El Toro de la Muerte NOW! Like, yesterday NOW, dig? Let me explain.

First off, these bastards are by no means "heartless," writing and performing some damn fine and decisively heartfelt indie-styled country soul. Secondly, the Austin, Texas-based band members clearly, are not "bastards," at least in any contemporary sense of the word. I have no specific knowledge of their parents' marital status at their respective times of birth, but lead songstress Erika Wennerstrom simply doesn't have the "equipment" necessary to achieve full "bastard" status.

Regardless of the misnomer, the group has been showered with rave reviews from Rolling Stone, MTV and the New York Times; has performed on Austin City Limits, the Late Show With David Letterman and Jimmy Kimmel Live; has won the affection of everyone from the Black Keys' drummer Patrick Carney to the Decemberists' guitarist Chris Funk; and is, quite simply, far too big to be contained within the Triple Nickel! Like I said, if you still can, get your tickets YESTERDAY! Visit krcc.org or myspace.com/555nickel.

Stay tuned next week for an exclusive interview with the ex-Redneck Hopers in Matterhorn, and a look into what very well could be the single greatest thing to happen in the Colorado underground in 18 years ... this summer's Warlock Pinchers reunion! Remember kids, Morrissey rides a cockhorse!