Wednesday, July 22, 2009

This initial public offering for the U.S. Government crossed my desk and I thought it worth sharing.

An apparently confidential IPO found its way to me and I reckoned it was worth sharing: it's an IPO for the U.S. Government, underwritten by Goldman Sachs:

THIS IS NOT A SOLICITATION TO PURCHASE OFFERED SECURITIES, BUT YOU'D BEEN A COMPLETE MORON IF YOU PASSED UP THIS GOLDMAN, OOPS, GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY.

In conjunction with its junior underwriting partners (international banks), Goldman Sachs is pleased to offer shares in a unique initial public offering: the Federal Government of the United States of America.

As proxy owner of the Federal Reserve and the U.S. Treasury, Goldman Sachs is in a unique position to realize the full value of owning shares in the U.S. Government, as Goldman Sach's proxy ownership has yielded astounding profits.

The U.S. Government (USAG) has a number of features which offer investors extraordinarily unique long-term opportunities. As the sole global empire, the USAG has an unmatched ability to obtain, borrow, connive, plunder, discount or otherwise control key assets such as the largest remaining reserves of fossil fuels (Mideast) and surplus capital (China's foreign reserves).

The USAG does have substantial liabilities which carry significant risks to investors. However, Goldman Sachs believes these unfunded liabilities in the approximate range of $50 to $75 trillion can be set aside in favor of the $23 trillion in profits to the banking and investment sectors which are flowing from the TARP and other bailout programs designed and managed by Goldman Sach proxies in the Federal Reserve and the U.S. Treasury.

As the most significant unfunded liabilities, Social Security and Medicare, are sliding irrevocably into insolvency, Goldman Sachs believes these liabilities can be jettisoned by legislative actions taken by its proxies in Congress and regulatory actions taken by its proxies in the Executive, Treasury and Judicial branches of the USAG. This will free the revenues streams generated by taxation to flow directly into the owners of the USAG, Goldman Sachs, its international bank partners and shareholders in this IPO.

Although the underwriters (Goldman Sachs and partners) anticipate a steady flow of profits from the $23 trillion being funneled into bailouts and backstops, other significant if unlikely risks include thermonuclear war due to Imperial over-reach, the financial destruction of middle class taxpayers, and insurrection of the debt-serfs who constitute the majority of citizens living under the control of the USAG.

The IPO also offers unmatched opportunities for global exploitation and profits as a result of alliances and agreements with other cartels such as the Peoples Republic of China, the European Union, the Union of Oil Kleptocracies and other international organizations whch control and exploit the planet's populace and resources.

Large shareholders in the USAG will also gain other substantial benefits such as access to heavily fortified islands in the Caribbean and Pacific and special status in Switzerland.

Private junkets on Imperial cruisers and aircraft carriers will also be available by invitation to selected shareholders.

This offering and all subsequent actions of the U.S. Government will be under the management of Goldman Sachs and its international partners.

So there you have it: buy your shares now if you want a slice of that $23 trillion in taxpayer-funded swag flowing into investment and money-center international banks. The debt-serfs won't even notice any difference after the IPO is completed: meet the new boss, same as the old boss.

Terms of Service

All content on this blog is provided by Trewe LLC for informational purposes only. The owner of this blog makes no representations as to the accuracy or completeness of any information on this site or found by following any link on this site. The owner will not be liable for any errors or omissions in this information nor for the availability of this information. The owner will not be liable for any losses, injuries, or damages from the display or use of this information. These terms and conditions of use are subject to change at anytime and without notice.

Our Privacy Policy:

Correspondents' email is strictly confidential. This site does not collect digital data from visitors or distribute cookies. Advertisements served by third-party advertising networks such as Adsense and Investing Channel may use cookies or collect information from visitors for the purpose of Interest-Based Advertising; if you wish to opt out of Interest-Based Advertising, please go to Opt out of interest-based advertising (The Network Advertising Initiative)If you have other privacy concerns relating to advertisements, please contact advertisers directly. Websites and blog links on the site's blog roll are posted at my discretion.

Our Commission Policy:

Though I earn a small commission on Amazon.com books and gift certificates purchased via links on my site, I receive no fees or compensation for any other non-advertising links or content posted on my site.

Weekly Musings Reports

"What makes you a channel worth paying for? It's actually pretty simple - you possess a clarity of thought that most of us can only dream of, and a perspective that allows you to focus on the truth with laser-like precision." Jim S.

The "unsubscribe" link is for when you find the usual drivel here insufferable.

Contribute via PayPal

Why I gratefully accept donations and why you might want to donate:

A 95-minute movie with 10 minutes of ads and a small popcorn costs $25.
If you enjoyed this site for at least 2 hours this year, and you donate $25, you already received more entertainment than you did from the movie. The other 100+ hours of enjoyment you receive here is FREE.

Subscribers and donors of $50 or more this year will receive exclusive weekly Musings Reports.

You have the immense moral satisfaction of aiding a poor dumb writer who seeks to inform, entertain and amuse you.

Contribute via Dwolla

Dwolla members can now subscribe to the weekly Musings Reports with a one-time
$50 payment; please email me,
as Dwolla does not provide me with your email: