golf lessons

As birds sang sunrise songs, dew glistened on the tips of manicured grass blades, and warm rays lit our faces in the crisp coolness of a late spring morning, Jason and I hit the links at a par 3 course near our apartment. It would be my first time on a course, far from the comfortableness of the driving range, far from the safety of my pre-golf life.

As I dug divots in the flawless tee grasses, as pre-adolescent girls shot hole-in-ones behind and before me, as four-letter words flew from my mouth heatedly and repeatedly, as I threw clubs and threw fits, I learned a few things. Later on, after I’d calmed down a bit, after Jason cheerleadingly pointed out that my first time out I scored a 50, I meditated on these golf lessons:

Relax
Loosen your grip
Take your time
Practice swing as often as needed
Don’t worry about the other people around you
Keep your eye on the spot where the ball is
Don’t kill the ball
Let the club take care of distance
Breathe

Golf, life…some of the lessons are the same.

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So you shot a 50 on 9 holes of par 3 each. So par for the course is 27? That being the case, 18 holes you would have shot 100 on a par 54 course. If however, you played a full 18 holes on a pga course (par 72) you would have shot a 133, or +61.

This is why golf sucks. It’s just like gambling. You play and play and play, hoping before each swing that maybe this shot will be a good one. You’ll swing that club a hundred times in an afternoon with 99 terrible hits, but the one good shot on Hole 8 is what makes you come back like a crack addict to play again.

It’s just like pulling that lever on a slot machine. Lose, lose, lose, lose, WIN! You get to thinking, “hey, I’ve done it once, surely I can do it again!”

Before you know it, you’ve spent $45 on green fees and $500 on new clubs so you can go hit another 99 horrific shots again next time. But for your money, at least you’ll get 1 shot to grow on!