Do you have to be bisexual to get the most out of a polyamorous relationship that involves other men and women?

Personally I don't see gender as a big barrier like some people. I'm comfortable saying I'm a Bi male though.. I think in a polyamorous relationship its better if everyone feels like they can be affectionate with everyone else. That's my personal opinion. But I'm curious if being bisexual enables you to do that or if being Bi isn't a big deal etc...

Just wondering

Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):

I tend to agree with you that it would be a lot better if everyone was bi. I think a true poly relationship means everyone gets to be affectionate with everyone else and if one or more of the people involved are not able to do this, and not able to have sex with one another, it makes it sort of creepy. Just my opinion folks!

Remember though guys that you could have a poly relationship of lets say 3 guys that are all gay.. in other words remember that my question and poll are specific to a relationship larger than 2 people involving men and women. Thanks for the thoughtful response Destri!

Personally I don't see gender as a big barrier like some people. I'm comfortable saying I'm a Bi male though.. I think in a polyamorous relationship its better if everyone feels like they can be affectionate with everyone else.
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Personally I don't see gender as a big barrier like some people. I'm comfortable saying I'm a Bi male though.. I think in a polyamorous relationship its better if everyone feels like they can be affectionate with everyone else. That's my personal opinion. But I'm curious if being bisexual enables you to do that or if being Bi isn't a big deal etc...

Just wondering

I have to agree with you it deff is alot better if all parties involved were as affectionate with everyone so no one feel sleft out or excluded

Personally I don't see gender as a big barrier like some people. I'm comfortable saying I'm a Bi male though.. I think in a polyamorous relationship its better if everyone feels like they can be affectionate with everyone else.
...

Personally I don't see gender as a big barrier like some people. I'm comfortable saying I'm a Bi male though.. I think in a polyamorous relationship its better if everyone feels like they can be affectionate with everyone else. That's my personal opinion. But I'm curious if being bisexual enables you to do that or if being Bi isn't a big deal etc...

Just wondering

My guys are completely heterosexual and they are still very affectionate with each other in a male sort of way (making silly jokes, laughing with each other and that sort of thing). We do enjoy having a threesome but we also enjoy each relationship in couples. It works nearly the same when they have female lovers. I am not bi-sexual but I enjoy group sex. Not being bi-sexual hasn't caused us to not feel affectionate and loving toward each other, the only thing we don't do is pair off in same sex for sex.

I fail to see why it's creepy that my guys don't have sex with each other but deeply love and care for each other...they don't have a sexual relationship but it doesn't stop them from caring about each other. To me the sentiment that 'if everyone isn't fucking in a relationship then it's creepy' smacks of reverse discimination.

Personally I don't see gender as a big barrier like some people. I'm comfortable saying I'm a Bi male though.. I think in a polyamorous relationship its better if everyone feels like they can be affectionate with everyone else.
...

Personally I don't see gender as a big barrier like some people. I'm comfortable saying I'm a Bi male though.. I think in a polyamorous relationship its better if everyone feels like they can be affectionate with everyone else. That's my personal opinion. But I'm curious if being bisexual enables you to do that or if being Bi isn't a big deal etc...

Personally I don't see gender as a big barrier like some people. I'm comfortable saying I'm a Bi male though.. I think in a polyamorous relationship its better if everyone feels like they can be affectionate with everyone else.
...

Personally I don't see gender as a big barrier like some people. I'm comfortable saying I'm a Bi male though.. I think in a polyamorous relationship its better if everyone feels like they can be affectionate with everyone else. That's my personal opinion. But I'm curious if being bisexual enables you to do that or if being Bi isn't a big deal etc...

Just wondering

I dont think you have to be bi. If you want the most out of it - then maybe. But I dont think you "have" to be bi.

03/12/2011

BelleIsabelle15

I have a lot of three somes with my husband and other men, he's not bi, but I am ( something I just figured out), so we also have threesomes with another woman. Either way, it works.

I wonder if reponses to this poll have been wholly rational or are more grounded in wishful thinking.. Although, I must say, I like to think that anyone can get alot out of polyamory, not just bi's. Ty for all the responses

Personally I don't see gender as a big barrier like some people. I'm comfortable saying I'm a Bi male though.. I think in a polyamorous relationship its better if everyone feels like they can be affectionate with everyone else.
...

Personally I don't see gender as a big barrier like some people. I'm comfortable saying I'm a Bi male though.. I think in a polyamorous relationship its better if everyone feels like they can be affectionate with everyone else. That's my personal opinion. But I'm curious if being bisexual enables you to do that or if being Bi isn't a big deal etc...

how does being bisexual help the relationship? I think a lot of you are misunderstanding what a poly amorous relationship is in the first place. I gotta echo Airen on this one lol

It could add a dimension to the sex but as far as the relationship itself? Not as important, at least for us. Sigel and Arch are affectionate and they show it in many little ways they just have no interest in having sex with each other! Given that one of our kinks is power play and group sex they do have SOME things they do that could be considered sexual but they don't get down and dirty. I've had experiences where our third is bi and it's great but to be honest it isn't all that different in the long run. Each have their own dimentions and high points, if that makes sense.

I'm not sure what "the most" means in this context - if everyone is happy with the situation and is getting what they want from it, then that rocks. I don't think orientation has a huge effect on that.

I tend to agree with you that it would be a lot better if everyone was bi. I think a true poly relationship means everyone gets to be affectionate with everyone else and if one or more of the people involved are not able to do this, and not able to
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I tend to agree with you that it would be a lot better if everyone was bi. I think a true poly relationship means everyone gets to be affectionate with everyone else and if one or more of the people involved are not able to do this, and not able to have sex with one another, it makes it sort of creepy. Just my opinion folks!

Affection can be shown in a myriad of ways, and not cross people's sexual boundaries. I think as long as everyone is open and honest with themselves and each other, then things can work out. My wife and I are lesbians. We have an unfortunate habit of falling for straight girls. A lot of these straight girls are still in our life, because they are wonderful people and we enjoy their company. We love them and they love us. Some of them we kiss on the lips ( a family kiss, we call it), while other prefer that not happen. Some cuddle with us and even sleep in bed with us, others prefer their own sleeping quarters.
I don't know that it makes things "easier" to be bisexual. There are a lot of straight girls that make out or even have sex with other girls, for a myriad of reasons that have nothing to do with being bi or lesbian.
I think as long as you're secure in yourself, you can be in whatever kind of relationship with whomever you want. Some friends of ours include a woman with her two husbands. The husbands have been intimate once or twice, but don't identify as gay. Mostly they are 'brothers', and they take pleasure in both caring for their mutual wife.

since i'm bi i am probably biased. but i've seen connections made even when there isn't anything sexual between certain parties. it doesn't take sex to be close, to click, to be fam. i could see myself in a V and only being with the male and not the female even though i am bisexual. i still see a benefit to such a relationship.and i feel i would still have something to offer to a straight woman in other ways

I tend to think that polyamorous relationships aren't the best idea to begin with. I think people often make them sound great, but in reality they often lead to hurt feelings and jealousy on someone's part.

I tend to think that polyamorous relationships aren't the best idea to begin with. I think people often make them sound great, but in reality they often lead to hurt feelings and jealousy on someone's part.

If I used your logic then I would have to believe that all relationships, regardless of the number of people involved, are not a good idea. So many monogamous relationships lead to hurt feelings and jealousy on someone's part.
If I were to believe everything I read, and hear, monogamous people spend 75% of their day trying to catch their partner cheating on them and the other 25% planning what to do to them if they do catch them. Since that's OBVIOUSLY not true and ridiculous I think I'll chalk it all up to the loudest voice getting the attention.

I wish people would really stop for a minute and actually LISTEN to poly folk...JEALOUSY is NOT the biggest hurdle in a poly relationship time management, or communication is.

Personally I don't see gender as a big barrier like some people. I'm comfortable saying I'm a Bi male though.. I think in a polyamorous relationship its better if everyone feels like they can be affectionate with everyone else.
...

Personally I don't see gender as a big barrier like some people. I'm comfortable saying I'm a Bi male though.. I think in a polyamorous relationship its better if everyone feels like they can be affectionate with everyone else. That's my personal opinion. But I'm curious if being bisexual enables you to do that or if being Bi isn't a big deal etc...

It isn't a huge barrier, but I think it wouldn't hurt if everyone involved was bi. I think the one I was in would have worked out better if I had been overtly sexually attracted to the other woman in the triangle.