A ready reckoner for strugglers

Every time Team India hits a new low, conspiracy theorists come out and have a field day: Rifts among players, club before country. an abysmal lack of hunger, a captain with a nefarious agenda, vested interests. It’s almost monstrous; they leave nothing to imagination.

Luckily, they don’t stop there: they offer solutions and suggestions too, making the task easier for all parties concerned. The Game is happy to jump on to the bandwagon and give advice to players, officials, selectors and all other affected parties.

Let us start with Sehwag. Yes, he is the most destructive batsman in world cricket; yes, on his day, he can tear apart any attack. It’s, therefore, only natural to unleash him in every match, in every format. So what if he looks least interested on the field and is happy to score a few, just once in about 8 games, right?

Absolutely right. Here’s what the selectors can do to get the best out of him each time: play him in every eighth game. Drop him in seven, give somebody an opportunity and it might well solve India’s opening woes.

The problem, though, is that the other half of India’s most effective partnership is also going through some existential issues. Yes, Gambhir is a fighter; he is a proven performer and could easily be the next captain too. Sadly, he has picked up this uncanny ability to lure the ball back to his stumps, from all kinds of edges; or, he likes to guide it past the slip cordon. Sadly, he keeps forgetting that there is somebody manning that area.

Advice to Gambhir: Like Sachin once did, cut off all shots through the off side. If that means no runs at all, then he has another option: batting like a right-hander. If nothing, it will add a few other modes of dismissals against his name and shut up all his carping critics.

Kohli: An exciting talent with great temperament and even more shots. One for the future, for sure, even if you don’t consider all the obscenities that he can mouth as an asset. In fact, the last-named quality alone makes him the perfect captain for Team India.

Unfortunately, all this clamour to make him captain immediately is distracting him. Instead of focusing on his batting, he is spending all his time on how to bowl to every possible batsman in the world. Please hand him the captaincy right away so that he can become the best captain ever; and, yes, let’s not bother about the number of runs he scores or the cuss-words he uses.

Dhoni, of course, is the man with the Midas touch. He is captain nonpareil. The cool dude. More than that, however, he knows how to get out of trouble. When India were getting thrashed Down Under, he made a very relevant observation: I will see in 2014 how my body feels and decide if “I need to give up at least one format”.

Given the grave ramifications of his great vision for the team and the nation, the defeats were promptly forgotten. Just the other day, he made a similarly valid point: “I am the punching bag. I am OK with it as it takes off at least some pressure off my teammates.” What a man, what a player, what a captain.

Maybe, we should forget about Kohli and make Dhoni captain for life; everybody can then get back to the business of playing and trying to win. Why waste time over something that won’t be changed in a hurry or at least till the BCCI is headquartered in Chennai?

Yuvraj and Raina know that they are, respectively, the ODI and T20 experts and live up to their reputations. Maybe, somebody should tell them can do equally well in other formats too; everything will fall into place after that.

Similarly, Jadeja should be told that he is not the pinch-hitter now the team’s all-rounder; he is not a specialist batsman or a full-time spinner either. Poor fellow, how many roles can he perform? Can we stop confusing him and let him do whatever he thinks he is good at?

Finally, a word of advice for Rahane, Tiwari, Dhawan and all other talented aspirants: forget performing match after match. Just sign up with either Chennai Super Kings or a good player management company, like Jadeja, Raina, Piyush etc have done.

bobilli.vijay@timesgroup.com

DISCLAIMER : Views expressed above are the author's own.

Author

Bobilli Vijay Kumar is TOI's National Sports Editor. He writes a weekly column, mainly on cricket; he has many interests, though, going way beyond sport itself: you can't keep him out of a movie hall or away from Floyd or Doors. He loves to cook and show off his French; he can play a tune or two on the guitar too. His current fancy, though, is salsa.

Bobilli Vijay Kumar is TOI's National Sports Editor. He writes a weekly column, mainly on cricket; he has many interests, though, going way beyond sport its. . .

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Bobilli Vijay Kumar is TOI's National Sports Editor. He writes a weekly column, mainly on cricket; he has many interests, though, going way beyond sport itself: you can't keep him out of a movie hall or away from Floyd or Doors. He loves to cook and show off his French; he can play a tune or two on the guitar too. His current fancy, though, is salsa.

Bobilli Vijay Kumar is TOI's National Sports Editor. He writes a weekly column, mainly on cricket; he has many interests, though, going way beyond sport its. . .