Has anyone ever been party to this strange & curious bit of 'advice'? ....When youâre young, you might fancy someone or feel intimidated by someoneâs confidence or good looks. So the so called âfriendlyâ advisor says,

âFeel threatened by them? Well, imagine them nudeâ or better still, âImagine them on the toiletâ ....

I guess, itâs supposed to strip everyone of their clothes and status, thereby it brings everyone down to a level playing field.

No. It's FUCKED UP ADVICE. That's what it is. Fucked up.

16th Century French philosopher Michael De-Montaigne's credo was; âKings and Philosophers shit. And so do ladiesâ.
Well. Thatâs fucked up too! because I took that advice/credo/philosophy to my head & heart and now, I can only fancy people who look like they might be able to make a good account of themselves when theyâre on the toilet taking a shit.

Posh Spice? She looks like sheâd pass the equivalent of weak lentil soup out of her arse.
I used to fancy Britney Spears (low centre of gravity endomorphic physicality a bit like Diego Maradona youâd never get her down) But she lives on a diet of Twinkies, Pepsi & GAK surely sheâd have malformed bright orange faecal matter (I donât know what Twinkies are: Bill Murray mentioned them in Ghostbusters)
No. For me, itâd have to be the Domestic Goddess herself Nigella Lawson.

Think about it.....All that rich food and those midnight feastsâ¦go into the toilet after Nigella in the morning, open a window?....No youâd have to knock a fucking wall out! The airborne solids would not only be palpable to the tongue they'd be fucking visible too. As individual a snow flakes but brown not white. Her arse is like some kind of super-massive-black-hole that actually absorbs light....Nigella's Dark Matter. Sounds like an indie band...