Myles' Weekend Adventures: Bonjour mon amis! Comment ca va? Myles Shaffer here. This time around, we will discuss an extreme Lizzy and a very sexy Benz. No, I am not speaking of cars. So, is anybody curious enough to read on? Great! Then let us proceed.

Lizzy Borden

Friday night, March 27Th, I drove out to the Rialto Spearmint Rhino to say hello to Lizzy Borden and to observe her final show of the evening.

This time, my late arrival wasn't my fault. Wednesday evening, March 25Th, my executive-vice-president-in-charge-of-backseat-driving starting having pains in her chest, her back, and a couple of other places, plus her breathing became somewhat labored; therefore, I ended up taking her to the hospital emergency room, where she was ultimately admitted into the hospital. She was released from the hospital this evening, but by the time I got there, and she was finally released and in the car, it was ten o'clock at night.

When we finally got back to our house, and I got my lady settled in, it was approximately 11:30 PM, and it is a thirty plus mile trip from our house to the club.

For the one performance I was lucky enough to see, Lizzy did her, ''Clockwork Orange,'' show. She came onto the stage carrying a golf club and wearing a black derby hat. She also wore what appeared to be a short, dark brown, fur jacket, and something that looked like a large, white, jockstrap. She additionally wore a black thong, and for footwear, she sported a pair of knee-length, black, high-heeled boots with platform soles of moderate height.

What I didn't notice in the stage lighting, until after she had taken off everything else but her boots, was the fact that Lizzy was wearing a complete white body suit that was made from some sort of very thin material. The body suit looked somewhat like an old fashioned pair of long john underwear except that it didn't have a big flap in the back and there were no buttons. (it must have taken a bit of work to get into that thing.)

There came a point in the show when Lizzy produced a large butcher knife from a plastic Halloween pumpkin she used to carry her goodies in. (that would be goodies as in props and give-aways.) She then proceeded to cut the body suit from her body until nothing was left but the legs.

Lizzy performed this show to, ''The Day that Never Comes,'' by Metallica, ''Eye,'' by Smashing Pumpkins, and, '' So What'cha Want,'' by the Beastie Boys.

Lizzy's interaction with the tip rail settlers is always quite good, and her stage performances are always very good and very different from the average, I might add.

The lovely blonde-haired Lizzy stands five feet six inches tall, weighs one hundred thirty-five pounds and measures a delectable-looking 34DD-26-34.

Lizzy is very intelligent. (Hey, in addition to working in front of the camera, she is an adult film producer, director, and a co-owner, along with Rob Black, of the Extreme Associates production company. Now that takes some brains.) Lizzy is also very well spoken. She has a great sense of humor, is very friendly, and she enjoys meeting and chatting with her fans.

I can't think of any reason why anybody should ever miss an opportunity to go to a club to see Lizzy perform, especially if they want to see shows that are a bit different from the norm, and to meet her in person. It will prove to be an interesting and enjoyable experience.

Lizzy can be found at: LoveLizzyBorden.com

Nikki Benz

Saturday evening, March 28Th, I went to the downtown Los Angeles Spearmint Rhino to spend a little time with Nikki Benz and to observe her last two shows. (Yes, I ran way late for reasons I won't go into.)

For her second show, the first that I saw, Nikki wore a black fedora hat and a stylized suit jacket and pants. She also wore a matching halter-top. The suit jacket, the pants, and the halter-top were all colored with vertical black and white stripes about an inch wide. Beneath the suit pants, Nikki wore a pair of black bikini bottoms. For footwear, Nikki wore a pair of knee-length black boots that laced up the front and had stiletto heels and platform soles.

This show was performed to, ''Kiss Me Through the Phone,'' by Soulja Boy, ''Turning Me On,'' by Keri Hilson featuring Lil' Wayne, ''Hot Boyz,'' by Missy Elliott, and, ''Sexual Eruption,'' by Snoop Dogg.

At the beginning of her last show of the evening, Nikki wore a camouflage baseball cap, a camouflage bra, and a really small camouflage mini-skirt. On her arms, she wore a pair of well above elbow-length, sheer, black, fingerless gloves. She also wore a pair of sheer, as in see through, black bikini panties and the same boots. (the boots worked very well with both costumes.)

During this show, NIkki performed to, ''Go DJ,'' by Lil' Wayne, ''Get Like Me,'' by David Banner, ''in This Club,'' by Usher, and, ''Lollipop,'' by Lil' Wayne.

What can I say about Nikki that I haven't said many times before? Probably not a thing; therefore, I think I'll let a pair of house dancers do the honors.

At one point during the evening, one dancer commented to me about how nice Nikki is, how pretty she is, and what a beautiful body she has.

Later, a second dancer also commented on how nice Nikki is. She then said, ''And her boob job is ridiculously perfect.'' She proceeded to say that she had seen a number of feature dancers perform at the club, and while they were all cute, ''When you think of Nikki, you think about how she is what a pornstar should look like.'' (I still don't like that word. I much prefer the term, adult film star.)

In addition to what the two ladies had to say about Nikki, I might add that she truly enjoys meeting and chatting with her fans.

I would highly recommend that anybody who gets an opportunity to get out to a nearby club to see Nikki perform and to meet her in person should not fail to do so.

Take a good long look at Nikki at: NikkiBenz.com

Okay folks, that will do it for now. Let us all meet back here the next time to continue the discussion of hot, gorgeous, women! Until then, everybody stay safe, have a great week, and live life as if there were no tomorrow!

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