Favorite Native American pastime, perfected and propagated by the Wampanoags, in which contestants endeavor to the be the first to poop out kernels of a meal of corn begun at an agreed upon hour. Serious matches involve the careful auditing, often by independent counsel, of each contestant's meals in the days preceding the main event, such that no contestant enters the competition having recently eaten corn.

Despite his prowess in corn races throughout the early 17th Century, Squanto has continually failed to win admission to National Corn Racing Hall of Fame, headquarted in Plymouth, MA.