LETTER TO THE EDITOR: Are you sure you want marijuana legalized?

What I don’t understand is why do so many of you potheads (if you want to be referred to as something else, please let me know) want marijuana legalized? I don’t understand it at all. Are you high?!

I personally have never been a ganja guerilla. I don’t think there has been a single time I have purchased Mary Jane. In the spirit of full disclosure, I willfully admit, only a smattering of times, have I had a few joints shared with me by veterans of the culture. Like other items, such as green bean casserole and hard noodles, it simply wasn’t my thing. So, one might assume I have no insight on this matter. One would be wrong. See, I know people.

Right now you get to be fairly safe reefer pirates. You still get to have the thrill of doing something illegal! Johnny Law is really not looking for you; they have much bigger problems burning away. You still get to hide in dark corners with other scofflaws and fiendishly toke away. You can band together in fuzzy solidarity and put it to The Man! You are brigands of the highest order! Why do you want to throw that away? Are your lives too exciting?

All my life – and that’s a hard 61 years – if someone wanted pot, they could get it. I have never heard a single of my cannabis comrades lament, “I can’t find any marijuana!” Anyone can get pot any time they want. Everyone knows someone that smokes and/or sells. I am not even in that lifestyle and I could name you multiple lawbreakers: lawyers; doctors; police; your boss at work. The hippies grew up, but they didn’t leave everything behind.

Why do you want pot legalized? Don’t you realize what the government will do to marijuana should they get their greedy little fingers on it? They will tax the hell out of it! Madmen will want riches for their commercial packaging and promotional expertise. There will be costly new special interest group wars wasting valuable time and money in the halls of justice. The price of puffing pleasure will skyrocket; what they did to tobacco will pale in comparison to what they will do to pot.

And let’s face it: even if pot becomes legal, you still will not be able to go on a cannabis cruise! Your place of employment will still fire you. Legality will only serve as a reason for more corporate intrusion into your private life. “If a co-worker’s eyes appear a little red contact your supervisor!” Plus, THC takes a relatively long time to leave your system, unlike alcohol.

You should remember and embrace the fact that right now you are outside the law: cool and hip, thumbing your nose at authority. Legalization will firmly ensconce you in the establishment. Nothing good can come of legalizing marijuana. Why on earth do you want it?