It’s Prayer Vigil Friday! 08/26/11

Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for His promises never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. ~ Lamentations 3:22-23

Welcome to Prayer Vigil Friday.

This Prayer Vigil Friday is dedicated to those whose hearts are angry and whose faith is tried.

One of the things I have learned on this journey through infertility, is that putting my faith and hope in God, and trusting in His plan for my life, is not something I can do just once and expect it to stick. I used to feel guilty for telling God that I was turning all of my worries over to Him, only to turn around the next day and find myself blaming Him for the fact that I wasn’t getting pregnant – and that everyone else I knew was.

When you pray to God, pray honestly. Seriously. Don’t just pray what you think you should feel, or what you imagine would be the “nice” thing to pray – like telling Him you’re turning it all over to Him and expecting it to magically happen. It won’t work. Pray to God with every single emotion you are feeling. If you are angry, tell Him. If you blame Him, tell Him. If you need to yell and scream, then sweetheart, go in a room, close the door, and YELL. But do it with all of your heart. Don’t just pray silently. Say the words. Sometimes saying the words you’ve been afraid to admit you’re feeling is EXACTLY what you need to do – and the safest ears for those vocalized feelings to fall upon are God’s. It’s the only way to truly deal with what you are feeling, so that at some point, you won’t turn to God for blame, but will turn to God for comfort, for security and for protection. Do it every single day. Never give up. Never ever give up….ever.

Dear Lord, I am angry, frustrated and lost. I want to experience the joy that I see so many others experiencing. I want to know the joy of being a mother. I don’t understand why I’m going through this. Help me to work through the bitterness. Help me find peace in my heart. If I cannot know why this is happening to me, then help me find a way to get rid of this debilitating anger that wells up inside me. The turmoil in my heart makes it impossible for me to even complete a thought, much less a prayer. Shine on me Lord. I need to feel your comfort. Help me breathe again. It’s been so long since I felt like I could breathe.

Do not withhold your mercy from me, O LORD; may your love and your truth always protect me. For troubles without number surround me; my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see. They are more than the hairs of my head, and my heart fails within me. ~ Psalm 40:11-12

I love the LORD, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live. ~ Psalm 116:1-2

Hear me as I pray, Lord. Sit beside me and allow me to feel your comforting arms around my shoulders. Offer me your love and understanding. Renew my hope and light a spark in my heart that will continue to burn until the anger within me begins to melt away.

In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. ~ Romans 8:37

The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him and I am helped. ~ Psalm 28:7

Give me the strength to continue on my journey. Help me remain steadfast in my faith. Guide me in the path you have laid out before me, in the direction of Your will for my life. Surround me with understanding people who will help me keep a sound mind and a grounded faith.

Hear my cry, O God, listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe. I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings. ~ Psalm 61:1-4

You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word. ~ Psalm 119:114

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul. Rescue me from my enemies, O LORD, for I hide myself in you. Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground. ~ Psalm 143:8-10

Lord, Thank you for the blessings in my life. Thank you for family and friends who love me. Thank you that I see the world with different eyes, and have the opportunity to reach out to other women to offer support and an understanding ear. Help me not to be afraid to reach out for help. Help me to trust those around me with my struggle with infertility. I will not be ashamed, but will be proud of the fight within me to battle infertility.

Give me strength, Lord. Warm my heart and soothe my battered spirit. Heal me from within so that I can continue to take advantage of every single opportunity I am given. Keep me alert to the options I am given. Lay a path before me and present the choices before me in such a way that there is no question what path I should take.

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. ~ Psalm 62:5-8

Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you. ~ Hebrews 13:5

I pray this prayer with all of the love and faithfulness I can muster within. I pray this prayer with a vulnerability that only you can nurture and protect. I pray this prayer with all of my sisters – and together we pray that through the mighty power of your love, you will hear our united voices as one, and bless us with your powerful presence in our lives, and your comforting peace in our souls. In Your Holy and Precious Name, Amen.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. ~ Romans 15:13

Put some time aside today, even if it’s a few minutes or 20 minutes. Close the door, close your eyes, dim the lights, light a candle, whatever you need to do to focus and spend some prayerful time with God. Pray for women you know, pray for women you don’t know. Then take some time and pray for yourself. Spend some time reflecting over the past week, over any frustrations you’ve had, whatever you’ve been putting off talking over with God. Get angry if you need to. Cry if you need to. Smile and give thanks if you need to!

Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times in every way. The Lord be with you all.~ 2 Thessalonians 3:16

This scripture truly is what Prayer Vigil Friday is all about:

“Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” ~Matthew 18:19-20

About Carrie-Anne

One Response to “It’s Prayer Vigil Friday! 08/26/11”

Dear friend, You have no idea how much I’ve needed and waited for your words this week. It’s been so difficult to turn this ‘2 week wait’ into a ‘2 week worship’!! You’re SO right when you say that putting our faith and hope in God, and trusting in His plan for our life, is not a one time thing. It is a pact we need to renew every single day… and in trying times, more than once a day! I LOVED your idea of saying our prayers out loud. Sometimes I’ve noticed that what seemed to be monstruous inside of my head what not really that bad once verbalized in words… and the other way around! Some seemingly harmless thoughts turn out to be so ‘heavy’ once released that you feel a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. Remember I’m always praying for you, your family, friends and readers =) Thank you for keeping me company. LoveXXXOOO.