If it has an engine, it has a heart

Diff’rent strokes

And this PT Cruiser, a borderline vehicle at the best of times, proves it.

I’m not about to perform a full inventory of the trinkets adorning this horror show of a vehicle (your eyes are already bleeding), but a couple of things must be pointed out here.

First off, isn’t it damned odd that the wheels and tailpipe are completely stock? After all, those are usually among the first items to be bastardized by this kind of offender.

Secondly, why go to the trouble of tarting up your vehicle to this degree if you’re not going to address the growing rust problem? I have to assume that even the mind who thought these add-ons were tasteful must know rust kills sex appeal (if the car has any to begin with).

Clearly, the psychology of this individual was complex and oblique. I didn’t come any closer.

“You there! Stop that. Just stop it.”

One last thing:

It’s great to see the phenomenon that breeds eyesores like this declining as each year passes. The high-water mark for spoilers/painted hubcaps came in the very early 2000’s (an era I call Peak Tacky) and slowly faded thereafter. Good riddance.

For some reason, in the past five years or so, the ‘Buick ventiports on everything’ craze really took off – hopefully that fad will go the way of Plymouth before long.