The Waxman is an old man who lives in Cincinnati, Ohio. He leaves his house every night exactly at 11:30 pm and drives his "Gold Sh*tter" to the same junkyard every night. He is called the waxman because his face appears to be wax, even though not many people have seen his face for more than a couple seconds. People wait on his street and when he drives by them, they begin to follow him. It has been said that the waxman times the traffic lights on his route in order to lose the people following. The waxman knows when people are following him so he will periodically speed up and slow down to throw the followers off. If you pull up next to him he may look at you or even wave at you, but this is very rare. Sometimes he ignores the followers other times he pulls various tricks to freak out the followers. For example, if you are stopped at a stop light behind him he may wave at you in his rear view mirrors. Only one car full of high school boys has followed him all the way to the junkyard, and to this day do not talk about what happened there. Following the waxman can be scary, thrilling, and you gives the followers a sense of adventure!

A Waxman, or, as plural, known as "Waxwomen" is a very odd compilation of beings. To become known as a "Waxman", one would have to complete a Alabama razorback on themselves. This leaves themselves odd and messed in the head and back. After covering one's self in semenic goo, (their own semenic goo, no doubt)they have prepared themselves for the first stage of human- waxman transformation. The next step is as follows:

-Revert back to a cellular stage of single cells and undue the telophase. Utilize the use of one's spindle fibers mixed with black lights and dog spit to grow self fullfillingly. Suddenly the waxman process has begun. Put the primordial piece of shit- soup in a pan, and wait about 15 years for it to grow. In the main time, you can cook a nice little paistry via Martha Stewart's books and tv shows. Once the recipe is complete, place the being next to a goat, and watch the fun begin!

I was going to go to the mall, but it was too crowded, so I unleashed a Waxman to clean it out.