The word "epic" is overused these days, but we are confident is saying this unidentified woman in Australia left an epic voicemail for a gelato shop, furious the establishment had the audacity had the gall to close early on New Year's Eve, thus depriving her the joy of purchasing the cold treat for herself to help usher in 2017.

She goes on to describe her clearly unhealthy relationship (in more ways than one) with the store, Gelato Messina. she barely manages to remain composed as she details how the gelato was there for her in the good times and the bad.

As she says through her sniffles, "I just feel like a good friend has really let me down" before declaring she will move on, as if this is an actual breakup, although she does leave the door open to get back together.

Certainly a woman this attached to a specific food might be best served going cold turkey and starting a relationship with sanity.

Now, we know what you're thinking -- there's no way this is real. And, yeah, we had the same thought, too, but Gelato Messina says it's real, which leads us to our next thought: the store had best think about tracking down this woman and issuing her a restraining order.