Ah. Well... I attended Julliard...
I'm a graduate of the Harvard business school...
I travel quite extensively.
I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that.
I've seen the EXORCIST ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT, NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU'RE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY, NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK?

The amount of sexual violence in the US military does not inspire me to sing.

The fallout friends and relatives have from sexist actions, harrassment and violence inspires me to despair, because I can try and help but I peronally can not undo what happened or fix it.

I do smile and laugh and find excitement in life. Life is beautiful.

Pardon me for being unable to find worth and humor in jokes that dig at the wounds me and mine get to live with.

Excuse me for having experienced stalking and gaslighting and abuse, and thus finding the common romance film ought to be reclassified as horror.

I wonder how many people readong this won't believe I make childish jokes at every opportunity. Particularly about dicks. Or that I put sprinkles on everything I can get away with. And that I put hearts, ponies and dinosaur stickers on the envelopes of bills, since I figure the people opening them could use a smile._________________[Stripeypants has enabled lurk mode.]

I recently watched The Swan Princess movie because apparently I'm that person that watches old-ass movies in her free time just to get angry about shit. With that in mind I'm about to completely spoil a cartoon movie that was made in 1994 so if you get mad at me you only have yourself to blame.

Anyway, it was doing SO WELL... Like, Odette was putting her foot down and making it totally clear that the prince wanting to marry her on looks alone after spending literally their entire lives despising her company was actually Not Cool.

And then it all went to hell. Because at some point she gets traumatized by the villian and suddenly the Jerk Princeling is her ONE TRUE LOVE and literally NOTHING is resolved between them. They spend the entire rest of the movie flailing pathetically to get back together.

To add insult to injury, the Jerk Princeling nearly kills her by vowing to love a fake he was too self absorbed to notice wasn't the real deal. A fact which is also NOT RESOLVED IN ANY WAY. He literally just cries over her almost dead body and suddenly she's okay again.

I want to rewrite this movie so hard it pains me and I am pretty sure it's going to end with their parents getting married and the Jerk Princeling fucking off to go hunt shit or something while Odette learns how to be an actually competent ruler._________________Samsally the GrayAce

The worst of the 'romantic' things for me still has to be ELF with Will Ferril. Because it is so god damned wrong that the creepy as fuck shower scene is treated as charming. Endearing. Not creepy stalker behavior.

Yesterday I started making a list in my head of all the Little Stripeypants stories I could remember versus the actual (mostly Disney) stories that were there.

Mulan: A young transman tries to figure out wtf to do and how to get along in his society. (I chopped off the ending, because it wasn't relevant.)

Cinderella: A poor woman gets magic powers by proxy and a sparkly dress. Neither she nor the prince seemed to actually show any emotions when dancing and whatnot together, so I didn't pay any attention to the romance bit of it. It was totally all about saying 'fuck you!' to parents and moving up in the world.

Sleeping Beauty: A bunch of faeries live in a cabin in the woods, sew, bake, and have epic battles with other faeries. And there was berry picking! The strongest image I recalled from this film: A biscuit one of the fairies ate. It was fascinating to me for some reason, and while I don't think I have synesthesia, I have a strong association of what that thing tastes like.

Robin Hood: The romance in this film was not boring or creepy and I didn't mind it. But most importantly it was all about stopping the corrupt asshats so minorities (poor, disabled, etc) people could live. Was clearly tailor made for tiny Stripeypants.

Pocahontas: A creative artist fights jerkass invaders. Clearly this film had no racism, and was actually a huge slam both against the US government for not honoring treaties and against the people who still are racist against native americans. Little Stripeypants also did not understand why everyone else hadn't concluded that clearly all white people need to clump together more closely so that all possible land could be given back to as many tribes as possible.

Peter Pan: Flying is fun! And Tinkerbell is an attempted murderer! Also GLITTER EVERYWHERE!

I forget the rest of things._________________[Stripeypants has enabled lurk mode.]

The strongest image I recalled from this film: A biscuit one of the fairies ate. It was fascinating to me for some reason, and while I don't think I have synesthesia, I have a strong association of what that thing tastes like.

The strongest image I recalled from this film: A biscuit one of the fairies ate. It was fascinating to me for some reason, and while I don't think I have synesthesia, I have a strong association of what that thing tastes like.

!!!

Me too.

Omg! We should collaborate on a recipe for it, and make a website dedicated to Merriwether's Biscuit._________________[Stripeypants has enabled lurk mode.]

I've been goin' on about this kinda stuff for years. It's the dark side of romantic fantasy that everyone just laughs away._________________...if a single leaf holds the eye, it will be as if the remaining leaves were not there.http://about.me/omardrake

The strongest image I recalled from this film: A biscuit one of the fairies ate. It was fascinating to me for some reason, and while I don't think I have synesthesia, I have a strong association of what that thing tastes like.

!!!

Me too.

Omg! We should collaborate on a recipe for it, and make a website dedicated to Merriwether's Biscuit.

Indeed! Though, it could turn out we have very different ideas what the taste is.

I'm thinking some sort of brown-sugar cookie. Soft and just a little crumbly.

that's really, really creepy. My friend was actually talking about how she adores The Notebook, but after reading the part about The Notebook I'm not entirely sure I want to watch it? Is the rest of the movie as unrealistic?