Beyond the Wall: This Week on Game of Thrones (S3 Episode 7/ May 12, 2013)

THE PLOT : The long summer is at an end, winter truly is coming and with it the cold winds of war as five self proclaimed Kings claim dominance over Westeros, but there can be only one winner when you play the game of thrones.

THE LOWDOWN: (The following column contains MAJOR SPOILERS, so I don't recommend reading this if you haven't watched this episode). Aside from the premier and finale, I always look forward to the episode George R.R. Martin writes himself. Tonight is that night and it shows in the dialogue. Particularly, when Tywin is talking to Joffrey. I honestly though (hoped) he was going to backhand him when he walked up the stairs to get in his face. Tywin isn’t scared of anyone. I love it, but it’s as much a strength as it is a weakness—something he’ll learn down the road. It was interesting to hear Joffrey bring up Daenerys and the dragons, a subject that hasn’t been breached since Varys and Tyrion talked about it. Like the white walkers, Daenerys and her dragons won’t be taken seriously until they pop up in King’s Landing. A sight I’m dying to see.

The drama their stacking on Robb’s shoulders is getting pretty thick. Sexy time. A grandchild. Dude’s got it all figured out doesn’t he? Then there’s the repetitiveness of Sansa’s plight—yes, we know, King’s Landing sucks. And where the hell was Margaery last episode during Joffrey’s target practice session? A don’t doubt King’s Landing is a big place, but damn, these people tend to disappear into thin air when shit hit’s the fan sometimes. They really need to stop showing Shae and Tyrion bicker. Shae needs to wake the hell up realize where she is, and who she’s talking to. Tyrion’s willing to buy you a house, pleasure you, make you rich and even give you a kid or two…or you can go back to whoring. Yeah, that’s a rough deal Shae, you really should keep bitching.

If you blink you’ll miss Arya run off and get plucked up by the Hound, or Melisandre tell Gendry he’s a King’s bastard—still can’t believe it took him this long to find out. And don’t worry, Bran and company are still…wait for it…running around in the forest. I get all this. I do. There isn’t much else for these characters to be doing right now because like I said before, they’ve jumped books with this material. That said, it comes off a little cheap as it feels like wasted filler. On that note, Theon’s torture is also getting a tad redundant, but tonight was even worse. From losing a pinky to girl on girl porn? If I were him, I’d have figured I died in the night and went to heaven…that is until they came at my package with a hooked blade.

GAME OF THRONES SEASON 3's seventh episode feels like a deep breath before all hell breaks loose. Jon and Ygritte going on about drums and marching was entertaining (the windmill bit was hilarious), but shit got real the minute he pointed out how history was about repeat itself. Wildlings. You’d think Mance would know all this. You’d think he’d prepare these fools. Nope. Daenerys is making more enemies than she can count. Look, I admire the fact you freed the Unsullied and what not, but you ain’t Spartacus baby, you don’t need to free all the damn slaves! You got bigger fish to fry and should take the ships this guy’s offering and be done with it. I love Jamie’s turn for the better, and how he doesn’t leave Brienne behind. It’s a noble act, one of many to come, but I sure as hell wouldn’t want to fight that bear (thought it’d be more of a spectacle though, after all, they did name the episode after it). I was however, hoping he’d throw the guy who cut off his hand into the pit on the way out. That would have been awesome as hell to see. In closing I must add, Bronn, you’re the man, and need to be in this show more often.

SEX/NUDITY: : Robb gets his Kingly freak on in the battle tent, and Theon gets some cool threesome action…until the trumpet sounds.

VIOLENCE: And when the trumpet sounds, the torture crew come to chop more than his foreskin. We also see a bear rip thing up a bit. Not much, but a bit.

SHARPEST QUIP: Pretty much everything Bronn says tonight is gold, but chose this line particular as he schools Tyrion on being liked. Bronn: “You waste time trying to get people to love you, you’ll end up the most popular dead man in town.”

MOST EPIC SCENE: I loved the entire exchange between Tywin and Joffrey. You never see Joffrey on edge like that. It looks good on the little bastard.

FINAL VERDICT :

TELL US WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF THIS EPISODE BELOW!

Extra Tidbit:

So Osha tells her little story, blatantly mentioning the white walkers, and nobody says shit? After all those stories old Nan told you, Bran, you don’t have any questions?

Theon's torture is getting repetitive and predictable. As soon as those girls came in I knew 2 things were certain, 1) it was a trap and 2) he was getting his dick cut off. If they really want to keep the torture thing going, he should disappear for the rest of the season and come back next season a hideously deformed man. Because what we got right here, is boring.

Theon's torture is getting repetitive and predictable. As soon as those girls came in I knew 2 things were certain, 1) it was a trap and 2) he was getting his dick cut off. If they really want to keep the torture thing going, he should disappear for the rest of the season and come back next season a hideously deformed man. Because what we got right here, is boring.

The fact that Jamie has become a new man makes me love this series so much more. He's a rich character and to see him transform like he has when he's at the heart of the evil empire is smart writing. I can't wait to see what happens when he returns to King's Landing.

The fact that Jamie has become a new man makes me love this series so much more. He's a rich character and to see him transform like he has when he's at the heart of the evil empire is smart writing. I can't wait to see what happens when he returns to King's Landing.

Last night was another good episode. Sure, it didn't really end on a climatic note but the bear pit scene was cool nonetheless. Also, Emilia Clarke has never looked more beautiful than she did last night. I admit that she is my celebrity crush.

Last night was another good episode. Sure, it didn't really end on a climatic note but the bear pit scene was cool nonetheless. Also, Emilia Clarke has never looked more beautiful than she did last night. I admit that she is my celebrity crush.

Its clear that this season is driven towards character development...whereas season one was about establishing this world and season two about moving the plot forward on the 'War of the Five Kings.'

Highlights of the episode: BRONN (who's hittin' the sauce pretty hard.) Also that scene where Daenerys is intimidating the crap out of the slaver was brilliantly shot. The way the camera pulls back to all the kneeling slaves surrounding him as Dany gives her demand all 200,000 slaves be

Its clear that this season is driven towards character development...whereas season one was about establishing this world and season two about moving the plot forward on the 'War of the Five Kings.'

Highlights of the episode: BRONN (who's hittin' the sauce pretty hard.) Also that scene where Daenerys is intimidating the crap out of the slaver was brilliantly shot. The way the camera pulls back to all the kneeling slaves surrounding him as Dany gives her demand all 200,000 slaves be freed...I suspect Dany wanted the slaves to hear the demand more than the master. Laying the seeds for a little revolt inside the city perhaps?

Shae's got a right to complain. She basically saved Tyrion's life caring for him after Blackwater and poured her soul out to him, and now finds it hard to believe her man, who charged headfirst into Stannis's hordes and made King Joffrey blink on repeated occasions, is powerless to defy his father's commands. For an independent woman like her, its understandably easier to believe Tyrion just wants Sansa to himself and is hiding behind his father as an excuse.

I for one like the Theon torture scenes, psychological torture is brutal. Hard to believe that there are only 3 epsiodes left. I wish though that the tiny filler scenes like Shaes today, although good in the book really just are a waste when so much is going on.

I for one like the Theon torture scenes, psychological torture is brutal. Hard to believe that there are only 3 epsiodes left. I wish though that the tiny filler scenes like Shaes today, although good in the book really just are a waste when so much is going on.