Wednesday, April 23, 2014

20000000 definitions of happiness and yet no one is happy… Happiness is
this…. Happiness is that – I’ll tell you what happiness is it is my
dog’s spiral shaped poop, that’s what it is.

Good evening friends, happy Wednesday evening? Yes, I just read this status two seconds ago.

Twenty reasons why you should date a Bengali, Tamilian, Punjabi girl?
What are you kissing ass regionally now? Like oh no! India has a
thrillion people, quick find a way to sub categorize them and then kiss
ass at break neck speed. Besides shouldn’t the post read Why a
Bengali/Tamilian/Punjabi girl should date you? Since when did you have
the luxury to form categories and then choose accordingly… It’s not for
you to decide which girl to go with! Lol! Count your blessings (that at
least some girl said yes) and move on. Aaye bade penning reasons to date
girls.

The constant never ending IPL updates? When I learnt
IPL is not taking place in India, I felt like I finally had something
going in the year 2014. Like a reason to smile or something. What the
fuck did I know about this constant torture on my fb?

Those
statuses rebuking players like they grew up playing unch neech ka papda
with you in your backyard… (Take it easy buddy! Messi (Yuvi) fucked up,
it’s okay the lad had his focus wrong. Sometimes shit happens. Chill!)

Oooh and the latest photo shoots! We know you just got married - the
testosterone is high and while you may give Brangelina a run for their
money (God knows you are pros) you may want to consider not overdoing
it.

That picture of you which you are passing off as a natural
shot.. pretending like you had no clue that it was being clicked. (Lol!
You are fooling nobody.) I mean, how absented minded do you have to be
to not know that your picture was getting clicked. For otherwise it
should be looking like those sting videos,, blurry, hazy and
unascertainable. Not like the Nat Geo fucking covershot of the month.

Really deep, meaningful, observational, advisory, well meaning, life
altering shit that puts me to sleep in an instant– I’d friend Paulo
Coehlo if I was looking for that.

The virtual political
vendetta (ye nya laaye hain is saal) Sometimes statuses get so heated up
that I feel someone somewhere is just seconds short of firing an
imaginary gun.

It’s okay you can check in at an airport - Sorry, ✈port (apparently
people won’t know it’s a plane that lands at the airport until we draw
it) So am just playing by the rules. Anyway, so where was I? Yes, last I
checked it was totally legal to check in at an airport and not check in
on facebook simultaneously. You are rich, you travel by planes, We get
it. Just tell us when you reach there,, everything else is kinda self
explanatory. I mean spain ab auto me to jaoge nahi? All we wish for is a
happy stay for you, not really interested in knowing how you got there!

And what the fuck is this feeling blessed shit. I don't see a white
disk doing rounds on my head every time I am feeling blessed.

and not just that every feeling has an icon.. I mean, how dare you feel happy any other way than how facebook taught you?