(Closed) Tired of being told to make a baby.

Everytime a wide-eyed,chubby-cheeked smiling baby/toddler comes into work, Darling Husband and I are told “Make one. Look how cute they are!”

Astonishingly, NOBODY ever says that when a 10 yr old enters the building. Or a 13 yr old. Or a baby that looks like this:

Apparently, we’re only supposed to have children to parade them around when they’re being cute and after that, to hell with em. Reminds me of a Demitri Martin joke – saying “I like kids” is essentially saying “I like people…for a little while”

I think people just expect that’s what you should be doing. Guess what? We don’t all want to!!! On our plane to our honeymoon a dad and child sat next to us. The child screamed the whole time and kept smacking his dad in the face. Perfect birth control.

I find that society puts so much pressure on couples (especially newlyweds) without thinking about the couple. Maybe the can’t have children? Maybe they can’t currently afford children? Maybe they don’t WANT children? I am a big advocate for not bringing up whether or not a couple will/wants to have children until it’s brought up by them to us first. There are a million reasons to have kids, and probably a million not to as well.

My best friend and her Fiance don’t want kids, and their reasons are across the board. I am proud of them for thinking it through and talking about it, and while I know that maybe their minds will change one day (maybe) I fully support their decisions and would never, ever ask them “why don’t you just have one?!”.

Take your time. Make your own decisions. Tell the rest of the world to mind their own business. LOL.

In all fairness, I shouldn’t just flat out rule out kids like some (lucky) people can. Unfortunately for Darling Husband and I, neither of our siblings are going to have children anytime soon if ever. So the pressure for grandkids is entirely on us. 🙁 But I’m not ready. He’s not ready. And even though I’m older, that doesn’t mean I am on everyone else’s breeding schedule. Children are a big freakin’ deal! It’s not like you can take them back to the child pound if the adoption doesn’t work out. So stop it with the suggestions already. My reproduction is not open to public discussion. Ugh!

Oh yes, people are never more presumptuous than when they’re poking their noses into your reproduction. Politicians, family members, co-workers, strangers on a bus — they all want a say. It’s annoying at best.

The only good news: they can’t MAKE you reproduce. Your “revenge,” if you will, is that you’re in control. The best answer you can give them (aside from STFU about my sex life, a**hole!) is to stick to your own plan.

I completely agree. Darling Husband and I are CBC, and we get so sick of hearing about how we should have kids, when are we going to have kids, etc. I’ve found that it usually shuts people up if you look them straight in the eyes, smile, and say “Absolutely. never. under any circumstances.” That usually gets the point across. Some (extremely rude/dense) people still persist, at which point I look for an opportunity to exit the conversation.

ugh, creepy! The bane of most newlyweds’ life. Being told to repeatedly have sex until pregnancy occurs. Regardless of the fact that you may NOT be able to or DON’T wish to have kids, or that you do not currently feel financially, emotionally, mentally, physically, anything-ally ready to raise and care for another human being.

@pfinarffle: LMAO I love the term “child pound” I think I’ll start using it

Yeah, the worst part is I work with Asian people who, in their culture, have babies, ship them off to grandma and grandpa, and then take them back when they’re 4 yrs old. So they actually do send them off to a “child pound” figuratively. My boss actually suggested that – send our baby off to DH’s parents in Indonesia for a few years.

Sorry, but no. I don’t want kids but even if I had them, I am not spending 9 months pregnant plus an excrutiating labor just to ship my kid off to grow up on the other side of the world without even knowing me…

And when I say “no” they argue because before we met, my Darling Husband made it known to everyone that he wanted kids. We talked and I made it clear before we dated that if he wanted to be with me, children are probably not in that equation and if it was a problem, we couldn’t be together. The whole baby talk makes me uncomfortable cause it forces me to have to find a way to talk about or avoid very personal topics.