Celebrating Sensuality. Intended for mature audiences, 18 and over

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Another tremendous post from Emmanuelle de Maupassant with quotes from various erotica authors, filled with their motivations to write. To bring issues from the shadows into the open. To arouse emotions in readers and engage them. There’s a garden of inspiration found in these quotes.

Several months ago, I invited writers to ‘share their secrets’; 130 responded, writing honestly of their experiences – more about them here. It’s been a delight to see how various authors approach the writing process, and the manner in which we choose to focus our erotic lens.

As Adrea Kore reminds us, “Society is hungry for more ways to open up dialogue about sexuality – between women, and between men and women. Erotica, and the sharing and discussion that takes place around the reading of erotica, is one such conduit of dialogue.”

While porn strikes a blow to the groin, erotic fiction adds an upper cut to the gut, wrenches the heart and arm-wrestles the mind. Erotic fiction follows protagonists not just in their pursuit of pleasure, but into the spaces…

Emmanuelle de Maupassant did an outstanding service in collecting and presenting responses of erotica authors to her survey. In this post, she focuses on the views and experiences of male authors. Much to learn in here. A highlight for me was Terrance Aldon Shaw’s quote on why men should learn about sex from erotica rather than porn. A big thank you to Ms. de Maupassant for this post.

Several months ago, I put out a call to writers (of both genders) asking them to ‘share their secrets’. Well over a hundred responded, including around forty men (some wishing to remain anonymous). My thanks are extended to all who have given their time generously, and who have written so honestly.

I’ll be posting the results of this ‘grand survey’ over coming weeks, launching with thoughts from male writers. The issues touched upon here deserve further discussion; we hope that they inspire writers and readers alike.

As ever, your comments are welcome.

Arousing Intellect and Flesh

Most readers currently associate the erotic genre with ‘steamy romance’ and, often falsely, assume it to be the province of women writers alone. In fact, several of the respondents to this survey are successful male writers of what is usually classed as ‘women’s spicy fiction’.

I’m stepping away from my poetry today because I feel compelled to write about the statement written by the victim of the Stanford rape, for which the attacker was sentenced this past week. The victim shared her statement with BuzzFeed News, and they published it several days ago.

I agree that men should read the statement, as it explains the impact that the rape and trial had on her. This goes well beyond the headlines we’re used to seeing and hearing when presented with news. These are the victim’s own words to describe the confusion, pain, anger, and more that she went through after learning of the assault and being questioned by the attacker’s attorney during the trial.

It’s achingly sad to read the letter. And shocking about the attacker’s behavior, of how he took advantage of the intoxicated and unconscious victim, and how he tried to justify it later — saying that she not only gave consent, but found pleasure in the act. Even though she was passed out during the assault.

Leslie Morgan Steiner offers more advice for men in her op-ed, “Why rape is a men’s issue.” Steiner encourages men to talk about rape with the women and girls in their lives, as well as to speak up if you see a woman in a vulnerable situation due to her age or drunkenness. Two men biking on the Stanford campus saw the assault and stopped it by chasing the attacker and ensuring he didn’t escape before the police arrived. These guys are heroes, no doubt.

The notion behind the two CNN articles being that men should learn more about rape and what they can do to help prevent it.

That’s what compelled me to share the link to the victim’s statement here. Because it boggles my mind that a man could violate an unwilling woman or another man. There’s no excuse for it. Doesn’t matter how horny the guy is. Doesn’t matter what the woman is wearing, or if she posted sexy selfies on Instagram. Doesn’t matter how much the guy binged on alcohol or drugs. Or how much the victim binged.

The rape victim’s statement is powerful, and it must’ve required a great deal of courage for her to read it aloud to her attacker in court.

I encourage men to read the statement, to listen to the victim explain the emotional havoc she endured. Us men would do well to learn more about the emotional impact of rape. If we teach girls to be vigilant in public against attackers, we can also teach boys that rape is an inexcusable act that has devastating consequences for victims. And that we can help women when they’re vulnerable instead of taking advantage of them.

I am humbled that my poem inspired Jayne to write a poem, and hers is a marvel. While my work was straightforward, her poem weaves various emotions, aspirations. And she’s much better at rhyming than me. Please visit her blog and give it a read.