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I think that it's finally time for lonely people rights. In equality for everyone, we got lgbt+, skin colors, disabled, gender, body form, animals... But what about depressed and lonely people? What do we got? Shitty therapists, useless suicide hotline or paying millions to find maybe someone who could help us.

People think that it's easy to cure loneliness, well of course it is. The thing is that it would be easy if people were more aware of loneliness and depression. It's inside us, we have bigger insecurities and sensitiveness. If the people around us were more aware of what we are enduring, maybe they would stop thinking every person who is alone wants to be alone. Stop thinking that lonely people choose to be lonely, it's just that we are afraid to disturb others people, please make the first step for us.

And there is my first point. Equality could mean giving a first chance to everyone as long as they doesn't appear dangerous. However, lonely people always make the first step and are always shunned, why? Because people are not aware of loneliness and depression and think that every human has magic powers of friendship. From what I witnessed, people never make the first step for lonely people and they never gave them a first chance.

My second point is media. Loners are always representated as freaks who are psycho or monsters. Lonely people are always secundary characters and who magically get friends for some cosmic reason. I would like a movie that really shows how hard it is for a lonely person to struggle and just start a conversation without starting to hate themselves. Fuck romantic movies, people are in couple, good for them, lonely and depressed people need more representations in media too. What do we got? Eeyore and that's all. Plus Eeyore even got friends. In reality, people like Eeyore never got friends.

Third point, therapist, suicide hotlines or people as a whole are better at helping people who are lonely in their mind. Let's be honest, when you google "How to stop being lonely" what does appear first? "It's only in your head." Yeah, wow. Maybe I should call my imaginary friend and tell them to hook up. I chatted with several service for suicidal or lonely people, it sucked a lot. I had better conversations with Pewdiebot. We are numbers from these people, we are money wielders, we are not humans for them. Here's an exemple of conversation : "Okay, thanks for explaining me why you are lonely, I am sorry but our time is over so goodbye, have fun."

To conclude, the stats about loneliness obviously prove that people are still not enough aware of depression and loneliness.

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I dont think lonely people rights is logical.By the means that lgbt and black folks, are born like that and cant really change it.A depressed or lonley person can ,with help and awareness, can no longer become depressed or lonely.There is conscious awarrness of depression , but lack of physical solutions.Everyone knows depression is a thing and lack the idea of maybe it can be fixed ,but instead the pharmeseuticals blast the media with "solution".There is awarness, but depression is a recent thkught that older generwtions font really understand it ,or dont even lnow they themselves are part of that populus.Just like maybe homosexuality isnt a conscious thought to suddently be gay and it is faitly new , but its existed forever ,just that now we are more aware.My two cents. Havr a good day folks.

Show the data whoch shoes the lack of bealong that these antidepressants are doing.Sure it helps the symptoms but you are still sad ,we must demystify phyciatric help , and stop shaming or tabooing those who go get mental help.

What I hear you saying is: by myself I can’t seem to get out of the loneliness bubble, all these happy people around me are oblivious to my plight, they should be the ones to help me out through my depression and make the moves to be friends with me.

Which is ideal, sure - people should extend an empathetic hand if they can. However, they - and especially random strangers - don’t necessarily have an obligation to. People make friendships with people that they have some sort of bond or attraction (not sexual) to - be it a nice personality, shared skills & experiences, or whether they find some need of theirs fulfilled by the others’ presence.

That’s where social services like therapists and counselors come in. If you somehow can’t make friends by yourself, you need to actively find help, even pay for it.

As someone who had episodes of (milder) depression before, I fully agree that you can’t just “be happier” or “be less lonely”. What you can do is work on yourself - get help for depression, develop yourself as a person - and in time, people will be attracted to be friends with you.

If everything that you told me is true. Then I guess that I was born in the wrong world. I never meet people who find me appealing, the therapists are always useless with me. I was just born in the wrong world and that's all.

That’s tough - but are you going to do anything about it? Don’t tell me there’s literally nothing you can do: if you have the Internet, you can learn a great many things to better yourself.

Even if it is the “fault” of others’ that they don’t show you the hand of friendship - you can’t tell them what to do. You are the thing that you can control and improve. It sucks if you naturally find yourself unwanted and ignored - but again, what are you going to do about it?

You could blame the world. It is, after all unfair.

Or, in my experience, the better thing to do is to make yourself someone you are happy to be. You gotta love yourself before you expect anyone to love you.

I've been there man. Trust me. I gotta say though, trying to get help on a subreddit dedicated to arguing was a ballsy move!

What has helped me, personally, was changing my point of view and goal in life from trying to help myself to helping others. By adopting a sort of transcendental goal of trying to make the world a better place, the desire for my own personal fulfulment falls away to only the bare essentials.

If you feel like the world is not appropriate for you, do not give up. Adopt a warrior mentality and fight. But be strategic. Realize that before you can help the world, you need to be able to help your country. Before your country, you need to be able to help your community. Before your community, you need to be able to help your family. Before that, you need to help yourself.

I don't know your situation with your family. If they are near by, see what you can do to help them, in any way. Fix your moms car. Visit your granddad. Whatever you can do, do it. This will make you feel needed and appreciated.

Find volunteer work in your community. You will meet people who also strive to better the world. This will be your "in" with these people. I find friendship is often based around a common goal. People have work friends, school friends, etc...Find volunteer work that speaks to you and you will find people you click with.

Ultimately you are right in that the world is not going to reach into your bedroom and fix you. You need to start that work on your own. But I promise you, once you start doing that work, the wod meets you half way.

You seem passionate about mental health and loneliness. There is no population more lonely than the homeless. Volunteer at a soup kitchen or shelter. You could make a real difference in your community. Whatever time and effort you give to that cause, you will get back ten fold in satisfaction and self worth. I promise you.

Sidebar: start exercising. Loneliness triggers our anxiety response because, in the wild, it meant death. Some theories suggest this is, in a backwards way, why exercise reduces anxiety. You are making your body more likely to survive by getting fit. And you will meet like minded people too.

I was trying to make a rather lame joke about seances, but to be a little more serious:I've struggled with depression and feelings of isolation on and off throughout my life. I have def. been in the situation where I really want to make connections with people and I just cannot figure out how to bridge that gap. It totally sucks, and the things people tell you to do, see a therapist, or a doctor, or exercise, or reach out, all require a lot of effort. A lot of effort that I for damn sure didn't have at the time.

I think there is to much stigma around mental health, and that we judge each other too harshly (that is why I didn't respond to your original post, I largely agree with you that we need to be more accepting and caring towards a variety of people in this world).

That said, all those actions that are so hard to get started, and often hard to sustain, can be vital for maintaining a healthy mental state. It has to be a priority, and whatever you need to do to make it possible you just have to do it. I saw ~5 therapists before I found one that worked for me, and it was a totally miserable several months while I was doing so. I was on three different drug prescriptions, including one that made me sleep 18 hours a day, before finding something that helped. I don't want to sound discouraging, the point I am trying to make is that what you are going through feels hard because it is hard, but it is workable. And I think that depression is a condition that people who have not experienced it DO NOT UNDERSTAND. I don't know you, so I don't know your state of health, but I know that I felt like I was fighting a major illness. Because it is one.

I hope you find a combination of things that help you feel more connected to the people around you, and that you find some relief.

Take care and good luck. I know you feel totally alone, but many people have been where you are and have reached a healthier, happier, more fulfilling condition. You can too.

Nice! Ever try going to game meetups/hangouts? Or video game conventions? I personally find it really fun to meet people who share a same interest. Maybe you should try finding some nearby your home? Or even online hangouts?

Hey man. Shits rough, but speaking from experience, with work it does get better. You seem to be having a particularly rough time right now, so I’m going to leave this here. This random internet stranger cares about you, and so do others.

If you feel you might be suicidal, and live in the United States, I urge you to call the Suicide Hotline at 800-273-8255 or navigate to http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ for a live chat and additional resources. If it's not an emergency, but you want to know more about mental health, the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) offers information on their website https://www.nami.org/ and a free HELPLINE 800-950-6264. If you do not live in the United States please seek out local resources. /r/SuicideWatch has a list that may cover your country: /r/SuicideWatch/wiki/hotlines Let me know if you need any other guidance to people who help.

There is more than one way to "give up". I guess the proper term is letting go. I just got sick of my social hang ups and I decided to venture forth, as awkward and ill-prepared as a was. Maybe you don't have these options, but I relocated to a new area. I went out. I failed a lot, but I discovered a few tools. Okcupid, and meetup were great.

I joined a film club. We watched a movie a week and talked about. I dated, that sucked, but I learned how to dial in my know it all smartass nature.

I actually don't know if anything I say can help. The only thing that I know that helped me is that I gave an effort on my end. And I gave up a lot. Though I did try again after "quitting" on others.

This may not be applicable advice to you but what really changed my life way joining a fraternity. If that isn't for you, try joining as many clubs as you can. Believe it or not you are not entirely unique and there are plenty of people like you. Even those who seem to be no lonely and depressed still can be. Everyone wears a mask.

That sounds exactly like the emotionalism of depression talking. It's not as rational as it feels

To assume everyone's opinion of you - and that it's one in which they find you unappealing, is irrational. Even if it was true, to assume you'll never get to that point is totally wrong. It just takes time and action, putting yourself out there - eventually you will get to that point.

Assuming that all therapy will continue to be useless is also a bad assumption. Personally, I'd prefer a counselor over a therapist anyway. Find someone you can just rant to.

You weren't born in the wrong world. You're just assuming defeat in the middle of the fight. You have so much more time and work you can give forth towards changing your situation. But if you choose to be defeated, then you will be.

So your motivation is for sure low, but it's probably not 0. I suspect if it was 0 you wouldn't have made this thread or be asking these questions. So then the question becomes, what is your motivation and how can you leverage it to move past where you are? Maybe you just don't want to feel miserable or you want to have friends or there's something you want to do. Only you can know. If you're not sure, watch you actions and work backwards, "why do I do this instead of that?" Don't explain it away as "I do it for no reason." Let's start with that.

This is some of the most self defeating shit I've seen in a long time. Take charge of your own life.

No one cares that you sometimes feel sad. Dude, the only thing keeping me attached to this shitty plane of existence is my wife. I want recently diagnosed with clinical depression: my brain cannot make the chemicals necessary for me to feel happy. Some days im fine. Some days I feel nothing and just wish I could flip a switch and stop trying. Death is the perfect solution to all off life's problems.

HOWEVER. It is also the most boring solution to life's problems, and it selfishly only solves YOUR problems. Believe it or not, if you kill yourself, people will be sad. Not me of course, because I'm an asshole and I've never met you, but others for sure.

Listen. You are worth far more than you think. Just because life isn't giving you everything you want doesn't mean it never will. Work on you, go out and do what makes you happy, and you will find people just like you. Maybe try Reddit meetups? That's how I met my wife, who is now everything to me.

You have the same rights as everybody else.
Having friends is not a right, it is something one actively chooses to do.

Think of it this way: a baby is not disappointed that he does not yet know how to walk and does not even know that he will ever be able to or when. He falls a thousand times before his first small step and even that is not perfect and he'll master this skill in about three years.

Depression comes from this realization you can't have something that you want NOW. Depression is the baby disappointed that he does not know how to walk.

Accept that you don't know how to walk. You are alive and you breathe everything else can be learnt. Imagine yourself where you want to be and start walking. It might take three years it might take a lifetime but you will get there and it already feels great. Enjoy falling a thousand times because thats the experience we call LIFE!

OF course I would! People saying that lonely or poor people are lucky are just so hypocritical or ignorant! Of course I would love everything to come easy! Loneliness is the most useless thing that could ever be created, it came from hell and is a torture!

If I walk on a mud puddle, don't tell me that it washed it.

If I am lonely, don't tell me that I am lucky because loneliness is a torture, a disease, a curse. Nobody should never be lonely and I don't wish loneliness for my worst enemy.

If people were more aware of loneliness and depression, I would be less lonely.

You are basically saying, "ok your life is shitty, but you can overcome it by mentally distracting your brain." Don't spit on my cake and tell me it's sugar.

Would you want to be friends with Eeyore? There are plenty of lonely people out there. Why don't lonely people become friends with other lonely people? Maybe once you try to be friends with another depressed lonely person and you see how unpleasant it is, you'll then see why no one wants to be friends with you. Everyone has to work at being pleasant toward others to form friendships and there is no exception to that for depressed people. We aren't obligated to be your friend.

Oh my, I tried to be friend with people that I thought were like me. Let me tell you, they're all hypocritical and sycophants. Do you know what they did? When I talk to them, they act all cold and shy. But when someone who is popular talk to them, they act all nice and buttkissers.

I am not like them. Even the lonely people around me are selfish. I know that I'm not like them because I am only kind with people that did the first step for me, I did the first step for them and they acted selfishly.

May be interpreting the post and your comments a bit wrong band if I am let me know

Here’s what I’d say. You seem to be contradicting yourself. You’re saying that it’s hard for you to make friends cause it’s tough to initiate contact and conversation with people but you also say that it’s not in your head. But the whole thing is that you have trouble talking to people and making friends its not that your loneliness isn’t real but there’s much better ways to deal with it than blaming everyone else and this mentality is definitely holding you back (the it’s all in your head argument)

I think you need to change your mentality If you’re not a bad or evil person then you shouldn’t be afraid to talk to people. I know it’s easier said than done but you can’t get people to do it for you. It’s not up to the government or for other people to make friends with you and you don’t have a right to friends or anything

You should join a sports team or a class and if you start to feel self-conscious or insecure just ignore the voice in your head cause that’s all it is a voice in your head (have some insecurity problems like that myself)

What I’m trying to say is find a way to interact with new people cause that’s the only way to make friends like people who don’t know aren’t intentionally ignoring you or going out of their way to not be friends with you

There's plenty of loners in the media. Batman. Wolverine. House. The lone wolf who gets cool shit done is a really common trope. People value independence.

But respect isn't a right, it's earned. There's a difference between the loner who's alone because he stays in bed all the time and the one who's alone because he has laser focus on his projects. I know depression stunts motivation, and the word lonely specifically evokes a feeling of sadness over the situation, so I'm not sure if this will change your view. But at the very least, there's nothing wrong about being alone.

There's plenty of loners in the media. Batman. Wolverine. House. The lone wolf who gets cool shit done is a really common trope. People value independence.

I'm talking about loneliness. In fact, it's because of these people that everyone think that every loners like to be alone. "Oh this guy is all alone, maybe he loves being alone, I mean, alone people only loves being alone, why would they be shy or have insecurities?". To be honest, Batman, Wolverine and House are not alone at all, they have a team with them 24/24! Do you call this loneliness? I call this being ungrateful. Of course, you can be cold with everyone and have all of them lick your shoes, but when someone is trying to be nice he can still be lonely.

Well if you're truly alone then yeah, it's kind of impossible to give you a respectable representation. A mean one? Of course not. But there's not a lot of stuff interesting enough for TV that you can get done while being completely by yourself.* Specially if that means being by yourself at your house all day. Generally the only option is to take a loner and make him start doing interesting stuff, which requires them to be with others. And this is commonly portrayed.

Let's not even count online gamers, since that still means you're interacting with people. We're talking about a guy who at best reads textbooks all day, and nobody wants to watch that.

*The one exception would be an explorer, but that runs counter to the average lonely person.

No but it looks interesting! From the descriptions though, it still seems like they're forced into interesting positions.

BTW I don't mean to be mean. I've had depression myself and I know it's really easy to take stuff as hostile so I wanted to say that just in case :).

I can't really say what has gotten me out of it. There's some basic things that everybody should do, which are getting a therapist and a psychiatrist. But other than that the path is different based on people's environments. I also had the luck of having loving parents who have allowed me to be a NEET from 19 to 21, and took up swimming. BTW, if you're looking for exercise, start off with cardio, cause that has the biggest effect on your brain chemistry. One thing in particular is that I've been approached by three people during my time at the gym, and I even eat lunch with one of them every friday, so nice people do exist out there.

This was unprompted also but just in case I wanted to start a conversation with you.

I love when people are unprompted with me. I'm tired of people's usual coldness, it's always "Oh, I have to find a way to have a short convo with that guy, I don't want to talk with him!". So thank you a lot much for your unpromptness. This is why I think that online people are better with me than the people in my class (except the teachers, the teachers are most of the time better than the classmates).

Yeah it was a really gradual process also. One day I just decided to walk outside. Then I did it occasionally with no schedule. I also started to do pushups and situps at random times. It probably took me like a year before I even got the confidence to go to the gym. Lately I've been going every day. Sometimes I don't really do anything and just stay in the lounge for an hour or two reading my phone, but a lot of times eventually I get motivated to do something. It's taken me two years to build up the confidence for this.

It can be depressing to know that it takes a long time to make progress, but I like to think that I'm gonna live a really long time thanks to modern medicine and staying healthy so that makes me feel better. I think medication has made it easier to have these types of thoughts though. Before that my mind wasn't capable of having positive thoughts.

Willingness is mutable. I've no idea how to get it as I'm not a therapist. But it's totally not genetic or inherent, so you can take solace in that.

I still gotta work on willingness. I usually feel melancholic, and anxious about work. I still don't feel like going back to college and I just have an online part time job. I think swimming is the only thing I'm serious about. Which isn't a terrible addiction, but for my position in life I need to take other stuff more seriously. I also have really low work capacity because I get distracted so easily, so it probably wouldn't be possible for me to stay fit and work at the same time. It takes me hours after waking up to do something, and once I'm done with an activity it takes me hours to get motivated again. So I don't exercise for an immense amount of hours, but due to my habits that I haven't been able to break, it's excessive as on average I only have motivation to do one thing a day.

I think that it's finally time for lonely people rights. In equality for everyone, we got lgbt+, skin colors, disabled, gender, body form, animals... But what about depressed and lonely people?

What rights do you think lonely people need? Are you denied jobs for being lonely, do restaurants refuse to serve you? Lonely people have the same rights as everyone else.

People think that it's easy to cure loneliness, well of course it is. The thing is that it would be easy if people were more aware of loneliness and depression. It's inside us, we have bigger insecurities and sensitiveness. If the people around us were more aware of what we are enduring, maybe they would stop thinking every person who is alone wants to be alone.

What makes you think people aren't aware of loneliness, and depression? I'm well aware of loneliness, and depression, but that doesn't mean I know how to, or have the ability to help people.

Stop thinking that lonely people choose to be lonely, it's just that we are afraid to disturb others people, please make the first step for us. And there is my first point. Equality could mean giving a first chance to everyone as long as they doesn't appear dangerous.

That's not equality, that's expecting someone else to do all of the work, and that's not how most relationships work. Everyone has their own insecurities, and for a relationship to form it requires both parties to constantly make themselves vulnerable, and open themselves up to rejection. If one side of the relationship isn't making it apparent that they'd like to be friends, the other side is going to assume that's the case, and withdraw their effort.

However, lonely people always make the first step and are always shunned, why?

This is not the case, and I can say it with certainty as a former lonely person. If you always have to make the first step, and are always shunned the issue isn't that you're lonely, the issue is how you're interacting with people. When you first meet someone they have no idea that you're lonely, or depressed, so how would they use that against you as a reason to reject you? They can't, so it must be something else.

My second point is media. Loners are always representated as freaks who are psycho or monsters. Lonely people are always secundary characters and who magically get friends for some cosmic reason. I would like a movie that really shows how hard it is for a lonely person to struggle and just start a conversation without starting to hate themselves. Fuck romantic movies, people are in couple, good for them, lonely and depressed people need more representations in media too. What do we got? Eeyore and that's all. Plus Eeyore even got friends. In reality, people like Eeyore never got friends.

You can absolutely find movies that fit what you're describing if you spend 10 seconds on google. That aside the reason it's not overly common is, because it just doesn't make for a very interesting movie, and most movies revolve around drama, excitement, or situation comedy. "13 Reasons Why" was a hugely popular show last year, and is about depression, rejection, and loneliness.

Let's be honest, when you google "How to stop being lonely" what does appear first? "It's only in your head."

When I google "How to stop being lonely" I get "25 Creative And Surprising Things To Do When You Feel Lonely" which is full of practical advice.

Third point, therapist, suicide hotlines or people as a whole are better at helping people who are lonely in their mind. Let's be honest, when you google "How to stop being lonely" what does appear first? "It's only in your head." Yeah, wow. Maybe I should call my imaginary friend and tell them to hook up. I chatted with several service for suicidal or lonely people, it sucked a lot. I had better conversations with Pewdiebot. We are numbers from these people, we are money wielders, we are not humans for them. Here's an exemple of conversation : "Okay, thanks for explaining me why you are lonely, I am sorry but our time is over so goodbye, have fun."

Therapists aren't mechanics. You can't walk in, tell them your problem, and expect to have a solution handed to you. They're not there to solve your problems for you, they're there to help you solve your problems.

Prepare some snacks or some tea and canapés ala afternoon high-tea, if you’re feeling fancy. Reminisce the good old days with a friend, your mom or sis. Remembering your crazy antics, and most embarrassing moments caught on camera will fill you with nostalgic memories and drive away loneliness.

Right, so the issue isn't that you're lonely, the issue is that you don't have the motivation to improve you situation. So you're angry, because you want everyone else to have the motivation to fix your situation. Life doesn't work that way though.

Life work that way for a lot of people though. I'm asking others people to have the motivation to do half of the work, friendship is a two way road. How am I supposed to have friends if the people around me are lazy selfish?

I'm just a guy on the internet, I don't know you in person so I really can't comment on your social skills, but it's kind of moot anyways, because as you said you have no motivation, and hobbies are the best way to meet people, and develop your social skills.

I think it's a bit strange to compare loneliness to being black for example. No one ever mounted a legal campaign to restrict the rights of people who are lonely. I don't the comparison really makes a lot of sense.

Yes there should be services available. All health care including mental health care should be subsidized by society. There should be, and is, research into this question and how to resolve it. But lonely people are not the targets of systemic discrimination.

"Asocials" did not refer to people who experienced loneliness, you understand that right? Asocialis referred to people who did not conform to social norms, like the homeless, those who were unemployed, sex workers, drug addicts, and LGBTQ people.

Being LGBTQ was criminalized in most of the west for decades after the holocaust and LGBTQ war heroes were subject to horrifying experiments and torture by the societies they fought for. People who were lonely faced no legal or social hurdles. People who were disabled were prevented from accessing most of society, it was designed around being fully able bodied. They were sometimes involuntarily detained in hospitals. Without going through the list yes all of the people you listed have faced systemic oppression. People who experience loneliness aren't on the list.

Incel is not a term the general population is even aware of. A lot of redditors are aware of it because, well, it's a horrifying place full of astounding and often violent sexism that goes so far as to celebrate a mass shooter because he said he did it over not getting laid.

No one associates most lonely people with that group. That is a specific group of violent misogynists who created that term for themselves, it wasn't in any kind of common or derogatory use before that.

I have never heard a single person in my life say that lonely people are a nuisance, and even if they did that wouldn't elevate to the level of systemic discrimination. Loneliness is an emotion. I've been lonely, most people have at some point in time. It's not an abnormal feeling. If it interferes with your ability to live your life therapists exist, they can help you through those feelings.

The US sucks for medical care, in civilized countries there is financial assistance to help you get to these professionals if you're in need.

However, it's simply a fact that no one faces systemic discrimination on the basis of being lonely.

So you're telling me right now that not facing systemic discrimination is the damn as not being cared about? Is there research into loneliness and how to prevent it? Yes. Are there public national hotlines for people in crisis? Yes. Are there medical professionals who will universally happily help? Yes.

Tons of people care. There are vastly more resources for the lonely than there ever were for societally oppressed groups until after those groups fought tooth and nail to build infrastructure for their own needs.

What is your expectation here, exactly? It's very clear that black people are still treated much worse by our society than lonely people right?

That's a complex social problem that has as much to do with our biology as our environment. Research is ongoing as loneliness is increasing on a societal level. Toxic masculinity is a big part of why men are more likely to be lonely than women. They're raised to pretend they don't have feelings and eschew any intimate relationships with men and with women unless those relationships are also romantic. Then they expect their romantic partner to resolve their emotional problems for them, and be their free therapist, which leads to unhealthy relationships and more conflict and ultimately loneliness.

But there's much more to it than that and it's an openly studied field.

However your premise is that lonely people have faced systemic discrimination in the past and present, and thus are owed some major public project directed at them because of a mistaken belief that other oppressed groups have ever received that kind of support. They simply never have, that has not happened, and in some ways lonely people have a lot more options and support than historically oppressed groups. Thanks in large part to the fact that every person had experienced this feeling and there has never been a defined group of lonely people to experience discrimination.

I think you're right about there not being enough awareness, but I think talking about "rights" is not a good idea in this case. What is more important in my opinion is changing the stigma that surrounds depression and mental illness.

I know how hard it is to deal with depression. I've dealt with anxiety and depression and it's the worst thing I've ever felt. I dropped out of school and became suicidal. Even though my life is back on track I really only have one or two friends. I spend most my nights just wishing I had someone to talk to. No matter how alone you feel there's someone out there feeling similar to you.

Look man you seem to have a very negative attitude like. You seem to be blaming a lot of people and I’m not saying it’s your fault. I’m not even saying that it’s not other people’s fault I don’t know anything about you like but you can’t think like that

Like you had some pretty bad experiences with sport in school but that’s not sports fault. If youI don’t like contact there’s non contact sports for that. Join a book club join a running club

But if you say oh I had a bad experience with sport I can’t do that you’ll never improve cause you’re closing off your avenues.

Like what are your interests what do you like to do

Also don’t know how much excersize you’re doing but I can’t stress enough how important exercise is and how much better it makes you feel

And look i never really had much trouble in school but I can only imagine how horrible it is ( assuming you’re in school cause of age) everything changes once you get out

This might seem really insensitive, but loneliness and depression is an overused excuse for why people are sad. I'm not dismissing those who are actually depressed, but people use being depressed as an out for natural sadness. Depression is a very real problem, but more than half of all people are not depressed. Again, its going to seem insensitive, but people should just suck up their sadness and realize they are just normally sad, not clinically depressed.

Again, I recognize that real depression is a terrible thing. I'm not arguing against that. I'm saying that people label themselves as depressed and lonely when they really aren't and just need to deal with it

That's why I disagree with OP's stance on this. Those with clinical depression do need help and support; we shouldn't waste resources and create a BS movement for those who don't realize they don't actually have depression.

You don't want your view changed; you want to complain about how someone else you've never met won't come solve all your problems for you. Where are "rights for lonely people" supposed to lead? You want the government to assign you a friend?? What does that even mean?

I can tell you don't want your view changed, because everytime someone offered meaningful advice you automatically dismissed it, at one point saying "blah, blah, blah". Get a hobby, exercise,blah, blah, blah IS WHAT YOU DO TO NOT BE LONELY. It's not meaningless drivel designed to placate you. It's literally what you do to stop being depressed. By dismissing the advice, you've dismissed the desire to have your opinion changed. The only people you gave deltas to were people you already agreed with.

You're 18. There is no way you've "tried everything". There is no way you've interacted with enough people to be as absolute as you are in your outlook. I'M a loner, and I DO like being alone. You can't say everyone is always doing ANYTHING.

I really believe loneliness cannot be cured by human contact alone,loneliness is like a separation from ourselves.We refuse to love ourselves unless we believe enough other people do,and tell ourselves a story about our worth being dictated by the success of our interactions with others,rather than that just just being a skill with different levels of mastery.I believe it is at its core an illusion,but that doesn't make it easy to go through,still fucking sucks,and i feel for you man.Hope it gets better.

I really mean it i hope you feel better whenever that is.Another small idea,i feel like whatever we focus on becomes dominant in our perception,(people giving up smoking and seeing cigarettes everywhere is a good example) so if you have even a tiny amount of good things happening in your life or parts of yourself you can like,focusing on those is way more empowering than focusing on what you don't have and can't control.Best of luck.

To be honest, i don't deserve that,i'm almost ashamed to say i'm very happy and have been for the last 10 to 15 years but i went through some tremendously dark times when i was younger and know (i think) what its like.That is why i wanted to say something,it doesn't always,or even usually,but it CAN get better.

This is obviously my own stupid (now drunk) ramblings,please take with a pinch of salt,but i think it involves a combination of accepting the things you thought were "just how i am"as becoming conscious decisions of how to act even if in just small ways,(like you can't decide if you feel o.k around people but you can decide weather you feel o.k about not feeling o.k around people,there's a weird feedback effect),and forgiving and loving yourself for your mistakes and just treating them as learning experiences.That's where it starts but there's an infinite road we're all traveling towards (if we make it and don't just kill ourselves as a species) some things i believe we right now are not in a position to comprehend.Sorry to get psychedelic but i think anyone who thinks there is a perfect end point we are aiming towards as a species that we as its ancestors could possibly comprehend is mistaken.

Wow, that was indeed psychedelic lol. Well, as you said, it depends of the situation. If it's with people that really count to me, like my Mother, I don't like feeling not ok around her. However, if it's because of people that ignores me, for example my classmates, I do. Because it's my way of expressing "You all hurt me, why I should fake it and act like you didn't all ganged up on me?". So yeah, I like being not ok with my classmates because smiling to them is like giving up in the battle between them and me. Everytime that I "enter" in a group it's like that, I try to be included by end up rejected. I didn't ask to be rejected, it's just that it's always like this, them vs Me.

The thing is, sometime I can't love my life because I envy others too much. I just don't understand, all my life I lift mountains for others people, while others people all rejected me and got so much by lifting a small amount of efforts.

Do you know how random it is? Just because they are found likeable and not me is just random. It's not my fault if all of my classmates has decided to gang up on me.

Can i recommend you read the book "Awareness" by antony de mello,it changed my way of seeing a lot of things and it might you too,otherwise he has some talks on you tube.But yeah its a pretty established fact that most of the kids who are "cool" in school grow up to be really dull adults,i was a complete misfit,used to desperately wish i could cut off all my rough edges and just fit in as effortlessly as others seemed to.I've put a lot of work into learning to be better at socializing and its been worth it,but i wouldn't change who i am at my core now for anything.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T14ux2k7rk0

I am not saying that there is enough visibility on the issue, but I think the issue is recognized, for example here where the surgeon general of the united states says the most common disease is isolation :

You should be able to live where ever you want (can afford), attend school wherever you wish, work wherever you wish. You can't force people to be your friends, and you cannot expect the government to do it for you.

How what? To be more fun for people to be around? The same way anyone else would - have similar interests, don't burden them with your problems, and avoid being unnecessarily difficult. Ask about them more than you talk about yourself.

If someone is always a mood-killer, that gets tedious. Everyone has their own lives and their own problems, and if you increase their stress levels by just being around, they will avoid you. You have no right to compel their presence in your life.