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The CTO of $T called me at the originally-scheduled time on Wednesday, not
the rescheduled time on Tuesday -- by that time I'd already made my
decision. Thursday I went in and signed the paperwork with $K for my
contract job at $D. I start Monday the 15th. There are a couple of good
perks from $K, including free access to SkillSoft courseware. (I think I
also get that through my recently-renewed ACM membership.)

Even after only six months of "retirement", the thought of going back to
work is somewhat scary. It's also rather surprising how few of the things
on my list I got done. (Of course, "moving" was also on the list, and
occupied an unexpectedly large fraction of my time. But still.)

I'll be at Orycon. The plan is to drive down after work (possibly after a
short day) on Friday, and return Sunday night -- it's only a 3-hour drive,
which makes it possible. I think I will have a concert, though I might
have missed my window for that by not turning in the questionaire on time.

Of course, now that I know I'm going to have an income, I promptly went
out and ordered a few things that I'd been waiting on. The first to
arrive, because it was nearly instantaneous, was the download of Cat Faber's new
CD, The King's Lute -- the physical copy will arrive
soon. (You get the download, which includes the sheet music and lyrics,
free with the CD.) You can get yours at her Bandcamp page.
I highly recommend it -- Cat's a brilliant songwriter and a fine
performer. This album is drawn from her recent "Alice Day" posts.
It's hard to pick favorites here, but I think I'd have to go with
"Cedarglass" and "Atheist's Anthem".

I really need to get a Bandcamp page up, don't I? Good project for
tomorrow? Maybe.

Yesterday I had a dentist appointment at 11am, to get my teeth
deep-cleaned. As I was pulling in to the parking lot I got a phone call
from $K (the contract agency) saying I'd gotten the contract at $D.

In spite of the fact that I think I'd probably prefer a full-time job at
$T, which is a smaller company with a really cool product that I actually
want to use, the timing for that just isn't likely to work out -- I
haven't even had a phone interview yet (I expect one this afternoon, but
still...) So my mood has been distinctly mixed -- it was something like
depression last night. (I'll get to that later.)

The teeth-cleaning went very well -- the hygienist was surprised that I
was able to handle it with just a topical anesthetic. Yeah, there were a
couple of twinges, but I often get worse from my arthritis just getting
out of bed in the morning, and much worse after sitting with my
legs crossed for half an hour.

Which brings us to the evening, when I was feeling depressed, and made a
joke about something I thought was unrelated that N. misinterpreted as
sounding suicidal. And then couldn't get back in touch with me.

Apparently several of my followup IM messages simply got dropped on the
floor between here and there. And she couldn't raise me by phone or text,
apparently because I was reading a book in the Kindle app! The
text, in fact, finally arrived a minute or so after I exited the
app. WTF?????!!! Anyone ever encounter that one?

OK, getting back to the down mood. I don't know how much of that is due
to uncertainty over $D vs. $T, how much is due to simple relief, and how
much is due to the fact that I've gotten used to being "retired". Have I
mentioned alexithymia lately? It means that, very often, I don't know
what I'm feeling. It's a problem.

High-order bit, out of sequence. I got a call this morning from (contract
agency) $K saying I have the job at $D!!! There's a slight chance I may
be able to swing something at $T, but I'm not going to count on it -- the
timing is rotten, and I'm not in a position to take even a medium-risk
chance over a sure thing.

I may, however, have screwed up my medicare by misunderstanding the way
the various special enrollment periods interact. GAAAAK!

Anyway, back to your regularly scheduled update. I took Colleen down to
RainFurrest Saturday, then came back up to hang out with Naomi and work on
music (and laundry) for a couple of hours. Then I picked her up, grabbed
some dinner (corned beef, from the crock pot), and we attempted to go to
Wayward Coffeehouse. Didn't make it. Colleen's scooter nearly tipped
over after it suddenly lost power trying to get out of an underground
parking garage the size of a postage stamp, with a too-steep ramp. At
that point, after I stopped shaking, we headed back home.

Have I mentioned that I lose control over my voice when I'm stressed?
Trying to talk to me makes it worse. Trying to "calm me down" makes it
*much* worse. Probably not fixable at my age. I'm not (usually) in a
panic, I just don't have the bandwidth to both deal with the situation and
try to figure out what to say to people and where they are and what volume
to set my voice at to be heard without seeming to shout. I shout.

Sunday I made corned beef hash, hash browns, and fried eggs for brunch,
and went out for a walk during which I had the revelation that of course I can't
cope -- my coping saw is in storage. I know: lame.

I finally made the call to my benefits people that I should have made two
months ago, to find out what the options and prices were going to be to
keep my medical and dental COBRA coverage going. I was not expecting the
total to be more than the mortgage on the old house! $2100. I am *so*
*screwed*

And I actually have a gap in coverage, between the end of this month (when
Ricoh stops paying for it) and the time I pay my first bill. At which
point they cover me retroactively. I went ahead and got my crown started
before I knew the details, but that'll be ok.

I still have a month, I *think*, to sign up for a Medicare Advantage plan.
Anyone have recommendations re: GroupHealth vs. Blue Cross/Blue Shield?
If I can get into that now, I can drop my COBRA coverage and just go with
Colleen and the YD.

On the job front, $A3 looked at my resume and said "other candidates are
more qualified". So much for that. $A also rejected me -- that was
actually a relief. On the other hand, my interview at $D was the easiest
so far -- I think I have a good chance at that.

And on the gripping hand, the CTO at $T wants to talk to me on Wednesday.
Looking at the company and what they do, I *really* *really* want it. And
I think I'm a good fit. And it's a cool product -- I signed up for a
month's free trial, and at $40/year may very well keep it. Unlimited file
sharing from your own computers, with nothing stored in the cloud.

Only problem is the overlap with $D, which I expect to hear about next
week. They'll probably want me to start on the 15th. Tight.

I went to my interviews by bus again. I *love* being this close to the
bus line and downtown.

So it looks like another weekly update. That may be the new norm. Or
not; we'll see.

We've moved. Our Stuff is on its way -- apparently it filled a good deal
less of the truck than they had planned for, so they added another load.
I'm guessing it'll get here Monday. We left Tuesday; we'd been hoping to
squeeze into the Honda so that I could take the van up with the stuff like
computers that I either hadn't fully sorted or didn't want to be spending
a couple of days in a hot truck. We didn't fit.

Yes, we came back from Reno with three people in the Honda, but one of
those people was Naomi, with a single small suitcase and a large purse.
Not the YD with a *huge* suitcase, a large stuffed critter, and an
attitude. We took the van. I'm glad we did; it made the trip a lot more
comfortable than it could possibly have been in the Honda, even
if it does complicate next week's logistics.

Saturday, Sunday, and Monday were absolutely frantic, but we managed. I
got quite appropriately ruthless with the random debris in the bedroom and
office - look at a tray or shelf of the stuff, poke through it, pick out
the one or two items worth saving, and toss the rest. Boxes and boxes of
it.

When I get back next weekend I'll have to make another pass, and either
squash it down into the Honda, or have a roof rack installed. I'd like to
avoid having to rent a trailer if I can. There's not going to be much
room in the apartment.

The movers came on Wednesday, with Devon in charge of the load-in. A
couple of oopses, but nothing too bad. And they took the bikes, which I'd
been expecting to have to take up next week, so that's good.

Somehow I managed to forget to pack a VGA and power cable. Again. Idiot
bear! But the server came up ok anyhow, so we have a fully-operational
Starport network again.

Friday -- yesterday -- I had an interview at EnergySavvy. Funky old
building that used to be a warehouse. Parking something of a nightmare;
if I get the job I'll do most of my commuting by bus. Great bunch of
people, and a company in the energy conservation sector that I could be
proud to work for.

Oh, good grief! An entire week... maybe I should just give up and post
weekly. It's been a long month since last Saturday.

The big news was the bad news from Google: they don't want me. All my
"cautious optimism" collapsed in a heap Thursday evening, leaving me to
wonder how in hell I'm going to pay for the move, the house improvements,
and Colleen's ferociously expensive meds. Two months of overlap between
work and severance pay would have covered it.

I'm probably screwed. I have one set of interviews scheduled for Friday,
but I've been letting the move (and the web :P) take most of my
attention. I decided Thursday night that the move had better take
all of it for now -- the movers come Wednesday.

*sigh*

I am getting the packing done, at least. A little belatedly; and
I'm probably going to panic tomorrow night. The office still has seven
boxes and a handful of flats to sort through, and the tools in the garage
and bedroom need to be boxed. Gleep! We'll manage, though, because we
have to.

"You do what you have to" is familiar, at least -- it was my mantra all
through the year Dad was dying and I was flying back and forth to Florida
to see him as often as I could. And again, the six months Colleen was in
and out of hospitals and nursing homes and I burned through my sick
time, most of my vacation time, and about 150% of my cope visiting and
taking care of her.

I had help then, and I do now. Liz, Og, and Devon are awesome!
And Colleen keeps assuring me "we'll make it." I hope so.

Lots of links. Many of them, unfortunately, are also bad news. Can't be
helped.

I started the day with a walk after breakfast -- the weather was
glorious. Have to do more of that. I took it a little easy after
somewhat overdoing it on Sunday.

Main job-search-related stuff for the day involved more work on my resume
and LinkedIn profiles, and replying to three headhunters. One's a total
wash-out -- the job's in Los Gatos. The other two are pending. Plus a
plain text version of the resume, for including in email.

We have a concert at Westercon! It'll be half an hour; don't know which
day yet.

I picked up Colleen's new scooter at Bischoff's. It's a Go-Go Elite Traveller Plus HD -- basically the heavy-duty version of
the old one, which is in pretty sorry shape after three years of hard
use. It's noticably more powerful, and the rear motor/transaxle assembly
is correspondingly heavier and a little wider. The platform is wider,
too, with a couple more inches on each side in front for her feet. Maybe
an inch or two longer. Made of win.

The house looks very strange: all full of boxes, and big gaps on the
shelves. The garage attic has space in it! Colleen and her minions have
made huge progress, and I've started triaging the books in the office as
well. Half-Price Books in Fremont loves us.

It feels strange, too. Definitely a roller-coaster ride. I was shocked
to realize how many lives we're affecting with this; how much we'll be
missed; how much a part of the community (for certain values of "the")
we and our house have become. It's time, but Oh! it's difficult.

I have not been walking much. Not nearly enough. Nor have I been doing
enough music. Though I've at least started there, doing a little work
under the Albums
directory. This is in part because I really want to get
restarted on my second album, and in part because chaoswolf
has asked for a recording of The Queen of Night so
she can learn it.

I also went to my first (of two) coaching session at LHH, plus another
on-site course. That was on Wednesday; I've spent much of the time since
then working on my resume and LinkedIn
profile. One of the cool things my coach showed me was wordle.net, which makes word-clouds.
Very cool, and a great tool for seeing what words are most (over)used in
one's profile or resume.

Here's one for Quiet
Victories. I'm strongly considering doing this for all my songs.

I received the invitation to my brother's wedding: it's a little over a
week before Westercon, in Logan, Utah. So we decided to make it a family
road trip. It'll be somewhat crazy, but probably cheaper than flying even
when you factor in the hotel rooms and gas. And an Adventure!

Much of the afternoon was eaten up by Colleen's phone. Yesterday
evening it fell into her recliner and got pinched in the mechanism. It
mostly worked, but a sensor was broken that caused it to turn the screen
off when you made a call, and not turn it back on. We ordered a new one
via insurance (which required a phone call -- the web interface didn't
work), then proceeded to the AT&T store to get a GoPhone to tide us
over in the interim. And back to the store, when we found out
that her contacts hadn't gotten transfered. So I spent most of Earth Day
making two trips in my car. Right.

The fact that smartphones and dumb phones use different size SIM
cards is stupid and sucky. Also the fact that smartphones aren't
available cheaply. *sigh*

When I first realized that the contacts hadn't transfered and that I was
going to have to make a second trip, I had a brief screaming meltdown.
Apparently I'm closer to the edge than I thought. I guess it's not
surprising -- I am under a lot of perfectly understandable stress
right now. I just hadn't realized it.

I need to pay more attention to self care, don't I? I always have a lot
of trouble with that -- walks and music are about the only things I know
of that I can do to relieve stress, and I never make the time for them
when I have "important" things to do. :P

Feels like it's been a long week. Um... ok, it's been a long,
tiring week. Not enough self-care -- I need to walk more, and
practice. Like most things that I know I'll enjoy and I know will be good
for me, I don't do enough of them.

Spent quite a lot of time expanding my connections on LinkedIn and
Facebook. I can see how that kind of thing can easily become an
addiction. Neither, unfortunately, will import connections from LJ; I
find myself duplicating a lot of effort. On the other hand, I'm finding
people from my past. Can't complain, except about the number of hours in
a day. At least this isn't Jupiter.

Also in the job search direction, took a lot of online courses on the LHH
web, and one onsite.

Friday and Saturday we talked with people at our bank about our rollover
IRAs. We can certainly get better yield on one of them; they're looking
into the other. The side conversation proved that it's not just me --
salaries in general have not kept up with inflation since around 1970, and
of course taxes have gone up at least twice as fast as inflation. So my
buying power is probably only 75-80% of what it was when I entered the job
market. :P

I spent most of yesterday on job-search-related stuff, and although that
includes a lot of time looking for people on linkedin and creating an
account on facebook, it
also included a webinar on effective networking. No, those are
not unrelated. Several job sites tap your facebook network to
find contacts.

A very busy three days. Sunday I finished up the taxes, and e-filed.
Should probably have filed the state taxes on paper; the e-filing cost
extra. Monday I started with Lee Hecht Harrison, the
"career transition" firm that Ricoh is paying for. The initial session on
Monday was very useful, since it included a "resume and linkedin
jumpstart" segment. The experience section of my resume will need to be
completely redone, of course.

I almost all of yesterday online, mostly on LHH and linkedin. Yesterday I took an LHH "webinar" -- in spite of the setup
website telling me my browser was fully functional, the actual applet or
whatever it was needed to be set up with a JVM and libraries, and couldn't
find them on my Debian system. I switched to the Mac, but lost the
visuals for about the first 15 minutes. Probably lost more to divided
attention. Still useful.

A nice st/roll on Sunday, and a walk yesterday. A little walking Monday,
but just a couple of blocks. Still, walkies good.

"Everybody is saying you can write off 2009 because there are no indicators it will get any better," Lieberman sums up. "We're praying for 2010."

But that doesn't mean you have to spend the rest of the year as an emotional cellar dweller. It's not easy, but it is possible for tech pros to nurture themselves and even bolster their professional credentials during these tough times, whether you're laid off and looking, or left behind and overworked.