Probably after long one month, I finally got some time to spend with myself. Honestly this new job is really checking my capacity to handle stress, tension, work load everything. Everyday morning, I wake up at 7 am, then immediately after waking up, I rush to washroom, get ready, prepare breakfast while getting ready, pack it in lunch box, put it in a bag, arrange my office bag, take car key and start rushing in the Mumbai traffic. Then try not to honk at any point of time on the way to my office putting FM on high pitch and reach my office after travelling 43 km in 1 hour, if lucky, park my car outside office in open parking area, assemble by trouser, take the laptop bag in shoulder, lunch box in other hand start running for lift. Then the permutation combination phase, which life will come fast and probability of getting in is higher as there is no queue in front of life. After participating in that race, I reach office with a smiling face enjoying good morning wish by my sub-ordinates and finally settle, better say leave my ass to settle on a cushy mushy chair. Office boy brings a glass of water and then a hot coffee. The moment I open my laptop and start checking mails in outlook and newspaper in google chrome, intercom rings, hey man, good morning, can you please come for 1 minute? Sometime I think of replying, no sir, I can’t come, but I can’t because at this point of time, I am not having any back up job in my hand and I have a wife, I have a social status, I have a bunch of friends, I have handful of well-wishers and a bunch of bad wishers as well around me who may forget to shit in the morning but never forget to keep their watchful eyes on me. So I can’t just type a letter and throw that on my boss saying, fuck off! Hey, come on, don’t get me wrong, I am not at all frustrated with my job. Actually I enjoy working whole day, attend meetings, taking decisions, make fun of any small funny incidents and take charge of a whole bundle of deliverable. Anyway, I work whole day till evening, may be by 7 pm, I log off and again take my car key to jump in to the battle of returning home. In evening, I usually take long 2 hours to reach at home. So I reach around 9 pm every day, feel blessed when my wife offers me cooked food. O yes, sometime, I take a peg of whiskey and act like drunk to forget all the shit I did whole day including travelling to office and returning back and then enjoy my dinner while watching TV. Then I go to sleep.

So that my daily ordeal. I just don’t do anything apart from the above mentioned schedule. I may take 30 min more in one activity than other but overall the story is same.

Ok now, I guess you are much tired of reading my boring story because I guess you also got almost same like mine. Then let me tell you another story, funny is this is not funny and I assure, your story matches mine and for obvious reason my story matches exactly with yours. To be honest, we everyone have same story in life and still we try to extract thrill out of it. You earn, you socialize, you take responsibilities both at home and at work place, in both place you get bare minimum hike in your salary as well as importance at your home. You earn, you spend, sometime for yourself and most of the time for others only to remain included in that circle but most of the time you end up with getting criticized for what you haven’t done at all, still you smile, keep yourself busy in aspiring more and more with a dream of achieving everything in life as soon as possible hoping there is a world, where everything you do is appreciated without any miss and you continue living. You earn, you fight to streamline what is not in order. With your hard work, dedication, you reach closest to that place and find out while concentrating on one thing, you missed another thing. You again try to assemble that. Your job is never finished.

Hey cool, no need to thank me, we all are co-traveler in same boat. We will never reach our destination and please don’t get frustrated for that. Let’s keep trying.

In no way I feel women should be given equal rights. It is not a matter of necessity, it is a pure propaganda, for which urban literate people are fighting with each other and those who just don’t bother are facing the same existence crisis every single day. Moreover, the demand for equal right is a goddamn fucking joke. Women already are equal to men. I am talking about the places where this sense of equilibrium is asking for serious oxygen. I meant to say it has appealed to the literate and urban generation only. In city, we have enough time to think and distinguish things as per our own wish. Whatever you say right, most of the time I find it wrong. That’s the clash. Black & white, Urban & rural, men-women…who does fucking care except their own bread? Who has to earn his own bread, he knows the value of it, who eats bread earned by someone else, gets time to create turbulence among society. And there the concept of Pink comes.

The moment girls try to come out of their own color and get missed with guys, guys think they are giving ‘hints’, they starts thinking whatever they want can do with a girl, though there is strong laws and enforcements against that. Then why? Even quite aware of strong laws and probable enforcements, still why there are many cases of Rapes, Molestation etc are increasing day by day? Here the subtle statement comes. It’s kind of arrogance and then a feel of insecurity. It’s that feelings which forces one to show the power to prove superiority. It’s the same show offs which the person used to see it throughout his upbringing between his own mother and father. It is the eternal clash between two different sexes. None writes about the everyday trouble a man faces in his married life, none talks about the urge of having sex is considered max once or twice in a year and still the man is officially not allowed to have sex with other women though it’s a kind of physical requirement. How many books have been written on domestic violence on men? Very little research on this and surprisingly even lesser see the light of publication!

Then? What is the issue? Both of them are somehow molested, terrified and still the system to move on without any prejudice.

No, here is the conflict. That’s the beauty of the movie ‘Pink’. In a scene Mr. AB said “No Means ‘No’, ‘No’ itself is a complete Sentence.”

As conclusive statement, Pink is not a movie on being strong Womanist. It is actually a fantastic movie where one should know the power of the sentence “No” first and then other things. It is wonderfully said, knowing ‘no” is more necessary than understanding ‘yes’.

I am not sure whether I should write this or not. Yeah, this is a sensitive topic and one shouldn’t discuss on the same. It’s kind of personal thing but I guess, I have already discussed a lot about my personal things here, starting from quitting smoking to masturbation. I have even discussed my definitions of being happy and then some kind of familiar incidents too.

Anyway, coming to the subject, is commitment in relationship is a taboo? I am not sure of it but seems like I feel the same. According to Google, Taboo means a social or religious custom prohibiting or restricting a particular practice or forbidding association with a particular person, place, or thing.

Before I got married, I was in a few relationships, I mean I had a few girlfriends in different phases. Ok, while I was in school, like all other guys, I also had some kind of crush on a girl, which didn’t mature later. We never even spoke more than twice or may be thrice too.

Then in college, while doing engineering, I got involved with a lady, who was actually a friend of one of my friend. It lasted a couple of years. There also it didn’t ripe in to a physical relationships (I meant sex, not kissing). That also didn’t last long after I got a job and started working in a concern. Then for a stop-gap period, I met with another lady, with whom I was in a relationship for a complete year. Yes, this time she was also very serious and I was too but it didn’t last long for some miscommunications which resulted into a complete misunderstandings and an argumentative end. We both decided to move away and have our own life separately. With her, I went to some good places too, away from home, spent a whole day in hotel room, came close to each other but somehow sex didn’t happen. Probably we were in demand of more time or may be being an Indian, we were not that matured like what we read about developed or underdeveloped foreign countries. While in a relationship, we never had any problem with ‘Love’. Love was always in the air, which actually didn’t condencify and there I understood my problem.

My problem is simple, I can’t commit a thing unless it has some result in future. Not necessary that I can see the future, but there must be some way I could see, visualise or I personally don’t believe in continuing a relationship considering it a taboo. I always, say, there is no number in between ‘0’ & ‘100’. Either complete dedication, or there is nothing, which I actually lack. I can’t give my 100% to anything unless I like that thing the most, more than my life too. Yes, it is, and it will probably remain the same till my last breath. Though in professional life, whenever I felt suffocated in a job, I immediately resigned and joined some other company. Sometime this went wrong, but I never cared for that.

Why to drag a thing when you actually lack something? Why to drag a relationship when you know you are not satisfied with it? Why society, parents, friends would have to interfere in your personal choice? Here the point comes. Sometime you know you are not in to it but your counterpart doesn’t feel the same way and there the confusions, contradictions come which mostly lead to some unfortunate, unwanted situations. It happened with me with my girlfriends, even with my wife too. Life is never a very easy thing, life is tough.

I still do not understand, when there is some problem or confusions or better say mismatch in a relationship, then why not to take a call and respect the peace of mind? Solutions could be done by having good discussion, by taking help from third party, could be done by approaching court or by any violent means. Yes, I don’t see anything wrong in this. Where there is something wrong, then all the consequences could be wrong, should definitely be in wrong way. As simple as that. If I am not enjoying my marriage, then there is no other way to say it other than confessing, “I am not happy”.

No, please don’t get me wrong. It’s not my case as of now. Yes, here also I am happily adjusted myself between 0 & 100. Means, I am not 100% happy, but it will be really unfair to say that I am not happy also. So I am happy. I don’t have all the happiness one could get from marriage, but yes, to some extent, I am happy. I have issues, I have problems but still can’t get away from this marriage named thing. I am not sure whether it is kind of fear, social embarrassment or still I have some expectations left from this? I don’t know at all. I don’t know what is happening now, it will keep on happening rest of my life. So same boring story line up every day, every morning, noon, afternoon and night. Whatever is the problem, issues, didn’t get sorted out yet and I am quite sure that in near future also, nothing is going to change. Ok, I am not pointing my finger to someone saying it is his/her fault at all. I am just saying considering all the faults are mine, still why to bear the burden for same old rotten story which gets old day by day and gather more mosses being of no use at all?

A latest update in the Feminism development worldwide and in Turkey is ‘Stop spreading your legs’. Actually this is a protest against the ever nourishing habit of male to dominate female in every way, may it be at home or may it be in bus, train. According to them, male community considers themselves superior than female. According to them, it’s not that they got a huge penis or balls so that they need space to keep that but it’s the mentality of disturbing female in every way possible. Funny side of this kind of post is that people eat such kind of junk so easily so that it got populated very easily. All the social networking sites flooded with updates from and the stories of how they were man-handled or misbehaved by male. After the Nirbhaya Incident took place in New Delhi, India, from then onwards every Newspaper started giving rape as one of the important happening topics to be published and as a result, what happened? Neither rape case came under control, nor people started respecting women in a day. Actually I am not sure whether I should tell it or not but I feel, they are making fun of themselves. One can’t reach on top just by having some external support or fan-followers. To reach on top, you need to have some qualities at first and if you are sure that already you have those, then please use that. Why do you need to blame someone or drag someone down to reach your place or get your position? Hope I am not confusing. Now a day we are depending more on social networking sites than confessing directly. The lady in the picture should have protested then and there to get her proper place for sitting instead of putting it on twitter, making it a colorful issue and then asking for rights. We poor Indians, consisting of a few Pseudo-Intellectuals also started crying the same asking for equal rights for both men and women. Now let’s get into the current situations of India. Here in every way, there are 33% seats are reserved for Women and the rest 66% is for general. Means, if number of ladies is more than 33%, then they can take admission in the general quota also. Education, Offices (private or government) are bound to follow this rule. Now come about the transport system in India. Buses keep almost 40% seats reserved for ladies and the rest for general, means even an aged man cant seat in the ladies seat if any ladies is waiting for it but in general seats anyone, may the person be ladies or gents, can occupy it happily. Discount has been given on the railway tickets, be it in local train or in distant train. Maternity leaves are there but no paternity leaves as they don’t have to bear the weight of baby or take the pain of bringing him up. None cared about the struggle a man faces during that period. So what happened? Men started thinking that already women are being taken care by the government, the why to provide special privilege everywhere? Actually women are losing respect in the eyes of men and where there is no respect, there is no care and where there is no care, and there is no co-existence. Someone said very well, Heart and Brain, both are the most important organs of a human body. Problem arises when brain claims to act as heart or vice versa. If there is a problem, then why don’t brain talk to heart or whatever for once to bring a solution and close the chapter! No, in that way superiority complex will be hurt. If there is a small mistake done by a man at home it’s a social issue and even a major issue becomes minor or could be avoided in case if it happens with men because they are the main brain of a family and the society whereas women are considered to the backbone of these. Cerebrospinal fluid is in total confusion, whom to follow, the person who gives instruction or the person, who manages it. I fully agree with the campaign against the dominant mentality of male but we need to understand that if those who are behind it, really respect women, then they should start respecting their existence at first. Start carrying a dignity while meeting a gentleman and become a bitch while facing a dog. Why to take help from outside like social networking sites or something like that. Don’t you think by making it a social issue, actually women are defaming themselves. Its like crying in distress. Become bold my dear twenty-first century ladies, not only with your clothes, but with your mentality and attitude. Stop spreading legs, my good wishes for your campaign but you better solve it with care, not by declaring a fight. And if women want to make it a fight, then I feel, another century to wait.