When Passion Terrifies You

By Christie Mims

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Have you ever sat at your desk, wishing you were anywhere else? Doing something else?

But when you try and figure out what that something else is, you just blank out.

Around you, people seem effortlessly happy in their work, but you can’t seem to figure out how they got there or what would make YOU feel happy. So you are left with a nasty little voice in your head wondering: “Maybe it’s just that there’s nothing there for me…”

Sound familiar?

If it does – you aren’t alone. So many people ask me in my coaching practice this question: “What if I don’t have a passion in my life? What if this is as good as it gets?”

It’s a scary, awful, terrifying thought.

And it can make you feel tired and resigned.

So here’s what I want you to think about instead:

Finding your passion is not a pass/fail exam.

There is so much pressure to just get it right, to find that perfect right passion that will solve all of our problems. But we fail to see that we are treating finding passion like some sort of pass/fail exam that we, out of everyone, are somehow destined to fail.

So take a deep breath right now, and let go of the idea that you have one shot to get this passion thing right, because there is only one right solution out there for you and if you don’t find it, you are out of the game.

Here’s the truth: You are a complex person with many interests. And those interests will evolve and change over time. And that is okay.

So the first step to finding your passion when you feel like you have none is to recognize that you are a person of many passions and interests. Some big, some small, and some that change as you change. And the second step to this whole passion mystery is to relax. This is a process that shouldn’t feel stressful, instead it should be something interesting and exciting because there is no one right answer.

Figuring all of this out can actually be fun.

Yup, that’s right! It doesn’t have to be stressful. Grab a hot (or cold) beverage, sit down and focus for a few minutes. Here’s what you do:

1. Write down things that make you lose track of time – areas where you have fun in your life. Anything from paying the bills (if that floats your boat), to reading, to watching documentaries about Houdini. Don’t make a judgment, just keep a record.
2. Think about what interests you – what you would do if you had a little bit more time in every day. Would you read more? Run more? Cook more? Travel more?
3. What do people tell you that you rock at? What have people admired about you in the past?
4. What are you curious about?

Ok, now take a look at that list, and pick one thing to explore. What seems to be the most interesting thing to you on that list? Spend some time on it till you decide you want to do more…or less. And keep it up. Over time your interest will deepen and opportunities will start for you, or you’ll get bored and move on.

Leave the voices at the door

Sometimes the voice in your head saying: “there’s nothing out there for you” will slow you down. You’ll get stuck being worried about a lack of progress and could end up back down in the gutter, fearful that nothing is ever going to change.

But that thinking is what got you here in the first place, right?

So instead of listening to those voices, take a moment to show them the door. When you feel like saying: “There’s no passion for me” – instead think: “I have a lot of passions, and I’m enjoying exploring what I want to do next.”

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