New Condom Delivery Service Takes The Awkwardness Out Of Sex

The embarrassing drugstore condom run is now a thing of the past. Simply by visiting thecocksmanclub.com and entering your email, you can have brand-name condoms delivered to the comfort of your own home. I wish this existed when I was younger–not that I was participating in any activities requiring a condom, but I definitely made condom balloons at sleepovers in eighth grade.

Overall, the business seems like a pretty brilliant idea. I can’t believe this didn’t exist before, because I am immature and I still become extremely embarrassed when I have to purchase condoms, tampons, or anything else from that aisle. Actually, this should become an alternative for quite a few things. It would definitely prevent some mortifying run-ins at the local pharmacy.

A website should exist where people can buy tampons, pregnancy tests, high calorie foods, and medications for embarrassing diseases. I certainly don’t need any judgey looks from the middle-aged woman at the counter. Haven’t you ever seen a bottle of lube? This is 2014, woman. I’m not ashamed.

After exploring the website further, I realized how witty the creators are. Maybe that’s why they need so many condoms. It even includes fake and funny reviews.

“My granny used to tell me ‘If you’re going to put it in, put it on.’ That’s pretty messed up, but it’s still good advice. Thank you, Cocksman Club, for making it so easy.”
— Totally Fake Customer, But It Should Be You

There’s a little “Get Some” button that will connect you with the purchasing center. For $5 a month, it seems like a good investment if you’re having that much sex. You can even get a “condom container” after three months, with a picture of a rooster on it. The puns on the website really are endless, and now condoms can be, too.