My ever-expanding list of favorite "The Simpsons"
quotes or scenes or what-have-you...

1.

HOMER

"Ahh
- the Luftwaffe, the Washington Generals of The History Channel."

2.

HOMER

"Please
don't send me to prison. They pee in a cup and then throw it on you, I saw it in a
movie."

FBI AGENT

"You
won't be seeing any prison movies where you're going, PRISON."

3.

TV COMMERCIAL

"Qouth
the raven, what a shine!"

4.

HOMER

"That's
what you get for not hailing to the chimp!"

5.

HOMER

"Ohh
[in pain], rancid meat attack! Stupid parasites!"

6.

BART

"What
the hell is this?"

LISA

"It's
one of those campy '70s throwbacks that appeals to Generation Xers"

BART

"We
need another Vietnam to thin out their ranks a little."

7.

HOMER

"When
will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle.
They're on TV!""

8.

SHELBYVILLE MAN

"Bust
in here and take it? You must be stupider than you look."

HOMER

"Stupider
like a fox!"

9.

OPERATOR

"The
fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand,
please mash the keypad with your palm now."

10.

GROUNDSKEEPER WILLY

"There's
nary an animal alive that can outrun a greased Scotsman."

11.

HOMER

"Son,
if you really want something in this life you have to work for it.
Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers."

12.

BURNS

"This
anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I
were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for
you."

SMITHERS

"You
are noble and poetic in defeat, sir."

13.

HOMER

"Ooo!
Punch!"

LISA

"Ugh!
Dad, this is blood!"

HOMER

"Correction!
Free blood!"

14.

MARGE

"Homer,
when are you going to give up this crazy sugar scheme?"

HOMER

"Never,
Marge! Never. I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying
lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles. Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses
with my cocky stride and musky odor. Oh, I'll never be the darling of the so called
"City Fathers" who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about
"What's to be done with this Homer Simpson"

15.

HOMER

"[singing]
When the fire starts to burn, there's a lesson you must learn, something something then
you'll see, you'll avoid catastrophe...D'oh!"

16.

HOMER

"What're
you gonna do? Sick the dogs on me? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths and
when they bark they shoot bees at you?"

"Do
you know that the Japanese use the same word for crisis that they do for
opportunity?"

HOMER

"Yes
- crisitunity!"

21.

REVEREND LOVEJOY

"Mr.
Burns, what is the secret to your success?"

BURNS

"Family,
religion, loyalty... these are the demons you must slay if you want to be
successful."

22.

WORLD CUP SOCCER
COMMERCIAL

"Come
see the battle to determine what the greatest nation on this planet is: Portugal or
Mexico."

23.

HOMER

"And
what if we picked the wrong religion? Every week, we're just making God madder and
madder!"

24.

HOMER

"Thanks
to your gloomy, depressing music, my children no longer hope for the future I can not
afford to give them."

BILLY CORGAN

"Yeah,
we try to make a difference."

25.

MARGE

"Homer,
it's very easy to criticize..."

HOMER

"and
fun, too!"

26.

HOMER

"...once
upon a time, there was a big mean lion who got a thorn in his paw. All the village people
tried to pull it out, but nobody was strong enough! So, they got Hercules. And Hercules
used his mighty strength, and Bingo! Anyway, the moral is, the lion was so happy, he gave
Hercules this big ... thing ... of riches."

27.

BURNS

"Oh,
'meltdown'. It's one of those annoying buzzwords. We prefer to call it an unrequested
fission surplus."

28.

HOMER

"Old
people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so that it can be
determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use."

29.

HOMER

"It
was a tomoulchouous time for a nation. The clear beverage craze gave us all a reason to
live. The information superhighway told the average person what some nerd thinks about
Star Trek. And the domestication of the dog continued unabated."

"Things aren't as happy as they used to be down here at
the unemployment office. Joblessness is no longer just for philosophy majors. Useful
people are starting to feel the pinch."

32.

HOMER

(To
Marge) "Now, Marge, you can't blame all of Bart's problems on your one little speech.
If anything turned him bad, it's that time you let him wear a bathing suit instead of
underwear. And let's not forget your little speech!"

33.

HOMER

"Don't
let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time. Just like that. Why, you
could wake up dead tomorrow. Well, good night."

34.

MARGE

"Grandpa,
this flag only has 49 stars on it"

GRANDPA

"I'll
be deep in the cold, cold ground before I acknowledge Missouri!"