COMING straight after How Clean Is Your House? which also returns tonight, I do wish they'd named this show How Fat Is Your Arse?

Gillian McKeith's first porky victim is Geraldine "More-More" Mawson - a busy mum with a lot on her plate in every sense. But she's an easy convert and takes to the GMK diet like a duck to gravy.

There's the usual shock tactics - a table heaving with Yorkshire puds and the compulsory poo examination. But if Gillian wants really to put fatties off their dinner, perhaps in the next series she could simply pile the naughty table with an entire week's worth of poo. Just a thought.