Kendra Is Going to Win ‘Dancing With the Stars’

Below is the first clip of Kendra Wilkinson rehearsing for “Dancing with the Stars,” and I won’t oversell it: it’s SPECTACULAR. I’m not some huge fan of Kendra — she seems barely literate, and every time she opens her mouth I expect her to burp — but there’s no denying that years of screwing for money has turned her hips into something magical. There’s a stretch in this video from :33 to :37 that make me VERY interested in Kendra’s cha-cha. Mmmm, that’s good double entendre.

A note to the fat white middle-aged housewives who always mess up the “DWTS” voting: I swear to God, if you jealous shrikes vote off Kendra for being hot like you do all the other hot chicks, I will murder your tubby dim-witted children. Or if I don’t murder them, then I’ll just vote against any medical bill that gives diabetes care to young people. So what’s it gonna be: a couple more weeks of Kendra dancing, or little Madison’s feet?

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I bet Kendra banged her instructor/partner after their very first practice session. You can laugh all you want at someone who teaches dancing for a living (I’ve certainly done so), but they usually get the last laugh when all kinds of crazy ass is getting thrown at them from every conceivable direction.

By: The Hammer

03.17.2011 @ 3:04 PM

Why is this bitch famous again?…. oh right she blew an 80 year old millionaire. well played bitch, well played.

@La Schmoove: Haven’t you heard that thing about not mentioning a no-no to a pitcher while he’s in the middle of it? If Matt’s next post is about the next episode of Roseanne Barr’s reality show (which features a surprise makeout session with Rosie O’Donnell), the blame is squarely on YOU.

Also, that was a pretty seamless job by Matt to photoshop the clothing into the first photo, which is pretty obviously a screencap from Kendra’s upcoming porno, “Dogging with the Stars”.

/too drunk to think of a better name for Kendra’s porno.

By: Mick F

03.17.2011 @ 3:28 PM

Or if I don’t murder them, then I’ll just vote against any medical bill that gives diabetes care to young people. So what’s it gonna be: a couple more weeks of Kendra dancing, or little Madison’s feet?

I like when Uff daydrinks.

By: Burnsy

03.17.2011 @ 3:30 PM

Matt has no concept of this show’s audience. They spell it Madysonn.

By: Tim Was Tim

03.17.2011 @ 3:30 PM

I’d like to thank donturtuccio for leaving Holly for me.

By: GFunk

03.17.2011 @ 3:44 PM

@La Schmoove – it’s called Reaganing

The hip movement was very…what’s the word…makes me want to have sex with her. That’s about right.

By: Deezy

03.17.2011 @ 3:55 PM

A smoking hot skinny blond white girl with a sex tape who was married to a black guy? They might find a way to vote her off halfway through the first episode.

By: donturtuccio

03.17.2011 @ 5:28 PM

tim was tim… you can have her. Hef’s “number 1 girlfriend” has a job of washing off his dick after each girl that fucks him.

By: Kevin James in Dancing With the Farts

03.17.2011 @ 5:35 PM

@Zack – dude she’s partnered with is gay.

/watches too much Dancing with the Stars.

By: Stinky Pete

03.17.2011 @ 10:47 PM

@KJiDWtF: She keeps moving her hips like that, he won’t be for long.

By: Burnsy

03.18.2011 @ 11:02 AM

I’m sure he’s willing to make an exception for her butthole.

By: Someone who actually watches DWTS

03.22.2011 @ 9:30 AM

You have to be kidding me. For starters, your post is seriously offensive, and I’m not even talking about the part about the viewers being fat and middle aged women. Poking fun at children with diabetes? That is seriously disgusting. And Kendra will not win dancing. She can shake her hips, she can “stripper dance”, but she really has no footwork. And I don’t know if you noticed but this is Ballroom Dancing…..no stripper pole allowed. For the male population the ass shaking might distract you from seeing that she sucked it(which she obviously has plenty of experience at) last night, but the only reason those “fat, middle aged women” viewers are going to vote her off is because of the fact that she doesn’t BALLROOM dance well. So she can shake her hips all she wants and flaunt what she has all she wants in the club when she gets voted off next week. And just to let you know, just because they are hot..it does not mean they can actually dance well.