1. “But you’re so pretty!”

I’m not sure if you’re saying girls with tattoos are less pretty, or…? (And I think my tattoos are pretty, and they make me feel pretty, which is more than I can say for your complisult.)

2. “Aren’t you worried about sagging/what they’ll look like when you get older?”

You know what I’ll look like when I get older? An awesome old lady with tattoos.

3. “I don’t usually like girls with tattoos.”

Congratulations. The tattoo-free ones are still out there. Even if you’re following this up with “… but yours are okay,” it still feels like there was some serious initial judgment.

4. “Well, I wouldn’t get that.”

Well, it’s a good thing it’s not on your body, isn’t it?

5. [if you’re a total stranger] “But what does it mean?!”

Do you realize the potential can of worms you’re opening up here? Do you really want to ask somebody about something that could, for all you know, be related to something really personal that happened in their life? Do you? Do you want to take the conversation there?

6. [if it doesn’t mean anything] “So why’d you get it then?”

Because I wanted it…?

7. “What do your parents think?”

Whatever they think, at the end of the day, it’s not on their body. (Besides, how do you know if my parents don’t have them, too?)

8. “What about when you have kids? Are you going to let them get one?”

If they’re an adult, they can do what they want. (P.S., ink doesn’t make me any less suited to be a good great, accepting, loving, understanding, encouraging parent.)

9. “Do you only date guys with tattoos?”

Do you only date people who ask questions that stereotype someone else?

10. “Why would you spend so much money on that?”

A) It’ll be there for the rest of my life, hopefully, so it’s smart to spend good money on quality work.
B) The best artists — because yes, this is artwork — don’t come cheap.
C) I sense that you think I wasted my money. I don’t think I did.

11. “Don’t you regret it?”

Do you just want me to admit that you’re right and I’m wrong and tattoos are dumb and oh lord forgive me for I have sinned? Because I won’t.

12. “Aren’t you worried what it looks like with your [wedding dress/work clothes/insert clothing here]?”

No, actually, I think it kind of enhances the whole thing and makes it more unique. But I still know how to cover up when I need to. It’s all about being appropriate to the situation.

13. “I’m thinking of getting [_________]. Should I?”

Whatever floats your boat, or finds your lost remote, baby. I’m not here to sound off on the shoulds or shouldn’ts between you and your skin, because if you’re having second doubts now, chances are good you’ll hate it in five years.

14. “Did it hurt?”

…………. Needle. Skin. Puncture wound. Foreign substance. Inflammation. No, not at all! (But my saying it did doesn’t make me any less worthy of having them.)

15. “When are you going to stop?”

When are you?

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