Roadblocks to successful relationship Nr 4: Great Expectations

As I said when I was talking about roadblock 3, sacrifice, the meaning of a relationship is “I accept you exactly as you are” and not “I want you to change”. This is why expecting something from the person you connect with, almost always leads to disappointment and pain. To my opinion expectation is a highly conservative attitude. You expect someone to be a certain way when you cannot stand anything different from what you are or what you have experienced in your life. You are not open to explore life and anything new. Just observe almost everything living on earth. Every creature, every species tries to be complete by “meeting” the opposite or supplementary. Can you see that trying to change someone in order to feel safe is against this natural way?

But I’m not asking you to control your behavior. I will never ask you this!

Great expectations are there because of insecurity, and it is a desire to control your world. In reality it is the belief that you don’t deserve to have good things in your life, so you try to control everything in order to get them. Of course you couldn’t trust that your friends or your lover are on your side.

I may sound like a broken record but there is also low self-esteem involved in this behavior. And it’s quite simple, if your self-esteem and your self-appreciation were high you wouldn’t even think that you don’t deserve the best, and of course whatever your partner offers is always the best. Not because you are in love with him/her but because you are in love with yourself and you enjoy everything appearing in your life.

If you have experienced difficulties in your relationships up to now, and your expectations are never fulfilled, is because you just need to drop them and enjoy what is there.

That means you need to work on your self-esteem and nothing else. You don’t have to change anybody, not even yourself, you just need to accept yourself and you will see happiness coming miraculously day-by-day.

You may have many questions and even doubts; just contact me to talk about it.

love

Antonis

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