May 9, 2011

Actually, my pet peeve about strollers isn't about how large they've gotten. (I assume this trend is worse in NYC, where people are into the "Sex and the City" trendy strollers and where walkways are more crowded.) My problem is the way people use strollers to immobilize older children who ought to be encouraged to walk. The dopey faces of the children who have adapted to this restraint really disturb me. What is happening to their minds and bodies?

... worse than not letting your dog walk is not letting your child walk. There are way too many children stuffed into strollers for the convenience of an adult and left with little to do but learn indolence and to grow fat.

110 comments:

We only use a stroller for the 3-year-old if we're going somewhere extremely crowded like the Mall or, as we did this past weekend, a carnival. On the other hand, when we hike, we can barely keep up with her.

What's really ingenious about those giant robostrollers (I had one that converted into a backpack) is that they still manage to keep them collapsable/expandable with one hand.

They still have the "do not fold with child in seat" labels. Pathetic.

It's a funny website, but obviously the work of someone who doesn't have children.

As you point out (and the blogger, along with Pogo completely miss), the stroller is for the convenience of the adult, not the child. These are not necessarily overly doting parents who coddle their children, they are more likely parents who don't feel like dealing with all the problems that go with staying on top of a child propelling himself.

When I was a child, we didn't have strollers, we had perambulators--bassinets on wheels. When you could ambulate, you were expected to.

Nevertheless, although my daughter is old enough to walk and usually does, on longer walks we bring the stroller. Cause, yeah, what I really want to do is pay $30 to bring my family to the zoo and then leave after 15 minutes because she's worn out. She'll ride. Don't like it? Tough.

There was a kid, probably 5-6, at the playground yesterday that wore a red bike helmet the entire time we were there, sans bike. Normally, you can kind of tell when there's something a bit off about a kid and you take that into account when you see an out-of-place helmet. This kid looked, spoke, and played completely normally. I was still puzzled when I saw his mom, atypical liberal arts major type pushing 50 and eating something with a Whole Foods label on it.

I knew a friend whose daughter demanded that she have a stroller and be pushed everywhere as the Queen of the family. They finally threw the stroller away and waited several says before she forgave them.

i dunno... as a mom of two who doesn't/can't drive (poor eyesight), i occasionally allow my 8 yo into the stroller (our bike trailer)... i don't expect that she can walk for the extended amt of time that i walk. when she gets tired, she let's me know and we head for home...

sometimes, we have to walk my 5 yo to school when she isn't feeling well - i can't leave her at home and i think it would be cruel to ask her to walk when she's been vomiting all morning...

also, the few photos that i saw on that site show pics of families at zoos or amusement parks where it's crowded and some parents feel like they have to spend all day there and subject their kids to this special brand of torture... (we don't do that, we just go home or back to hotel...) so, i assume they use the stroller as a rest area and eventually the kids walk again... i know, i shouldn't assume... but i like to give my fellow parents the benefit of the doubt... plz don't let me down stroller parents! :)

Strollers in NYC are a problem, not necessarily because they're so large (although that is part of it) but primarily because the parents wield the strollers like a bulldozer - the parents use the strollers to block traffic and walk unimpeded while the rest of us have to stop and wait for the stroller nazis to pass.

It's seriously like having an automated crossing guard in front of you - stop! - VIP coming through!

This is why I like the stroller/backpack combos and have had one for each kid as they come up. Putting them in a backpack not only allows you more freedom of movement (if you're going were pavement doesn't) but it both keeps the pace at your walking speed and gives you an impromtu workout.

Like Franklin, I live in New York City, and strollers make life absolutely miserable here. Actually it's the ill-mannered yuppie twats (male and female) pushing the strollers that are most of the trouble.

If you want to really learn to hate strollers, take the J train to the Marcy avenue stop in Brooklyn in the late afternoon and try wading through the sea of Chassidic women with Smart car sized strollers who jam the exit as they make frenzied attempts to fit into the passenger elevator.

The WSJ had an editorial by the woman who wrote Free Range Kids - now there's a backpack carrier available to hold your 7 year old when he/she can't walk anymore!

The only time we ever had a stroller for my son after he'd reached walking age was for Disneyland. When you've paid $500 for a family of four to spend a day at Disneyland that day is going to go from 9:00 a.m. until midnight - no slacking! By the end of the night my husband was begging for a stroller!

The use of strollers depends upon where you are going. Yeah, our kids could walk, but it's not practical to have a 15 month walk everywhere, unless you want to limit the places you go. Especially so if you have more than one young kid. That said, once they were about 3, or so, they can keep up enough.

I did find the comment on that page that "when I have kids, they will..." Yeah, I said lots of stuff like that before I had kids.

It seems to me as if the stroller is used by many parents as a replacement for discipline. In those times when our kids (we had three in five years)would not stay close when we needed them to--we would hold their hands as we walked. Or sometimes carry them.

No. The rude stroller pushing assholes were assholes before they had strollers and kids. It's just more obvious with strollers and kids. It's pretty easy to push a stroller without being annoying (except to people who just don't like kids), and pretty easy to apologize if you make a mistake.

Speaking as a parent of now adult kids I would point out:1)as Geraly did, many of these photos are at locations that will involve lots of walking. Go to Disneyland. You can rent strollers meant for older kids. 2)As for parents with strollers being rude, I'd only point out my continued experience shopping at Costco. It always seems like the shoppers there are inconsiderate...until I consider it hard to get a true sense of one's space while pushing one of those "out-sized" shopping carts. 3)Now as grandparents we have two strollers. The small one that easily folds up (good for quick trips) and the large one that has plenty of carrying space (i.e. for diapers, change of clothes, food)

BOTTOM LINE: I will literally and figuratively give parents of small children a wide berth.

There's a long history of society giving weird rules to parents. Sometimes the parent can discard the weird rules. Sometimes they are really good rules. Just because you are a parent doesn't mean you are doing it all right. Just because someone else is making a comment doesn't mean you are doing it all wrong.

Consider the commentary of others and either learn from it or call them assholes and move on.

I transported my daughter by stroller, on my back, on my hip, on my shoulders, by hand walking, on a leash and free ranging - it depended on the situation. No method is "bad", as one can easily imagine a situation where each would be appropriate.

I hate using strollers with my nephews, but the consequence of that with an 18 month old or so is that they can walk for a while, but they get tired at places that require a lot of walking, like say the zoo. And then when they get tired you either have to stop or carry them.

I have a double jogging stroller that I use when I want to walk a distance longer than is reasonable for my sons. If some childless ninny wants to complain about seeing my four year old in it, I don't care.

My sons, who are two and four, mostly walk everywhere. The other day we started across a crosswalk just as the walk signal came on,and we were almost across when it switched to the flashing don't start walking signal and a woman making a left turn leaned out of her car to scream at us, "DON'T WALK!" I assume she wanted us to stop walking in the middle of the road. Maybe she hated that my children weren't in a stroller.

As bad is what's happening to children's imaginations by those DVD screens in the back seats of their parents' cars. Never having to endure boredom anymore--their minds passively entertained/occupied--they don't have to exercise the muscles up there that create new worlds. What a future that portends for the arts.

No back packs or papooses for me. That's what arms and shoulders are for. The exercise is good for me too.

It's more comfortable and better for long distances to have the 18-month-old in the backpack facing forward. This not only is better for him, but it keeps my hands free for smackin' the 3-yr-old and 7-yr-old.

That being said, would you say the preponderance of parenting these days is for or against spanking (when appropriate...let's not be idiots about this issue). Remember when it was anathema to good parenting to lay any finger, however well-meaning, on your children?

Your life has truly reached an admirable level of ease and contentment if the only thing you can find to bitch about is the occasional need to walk around a stroller......What I truly find annoying is women who take out children with disabilities or excessive ugliness in public. Disabled and ugly children are so depressing. It's a real downer just looking at them. Maybe if more people would criticize such overly indulgent mothers, they would leave their kids at home.

The Baby Bjorn and the Ergo are, in my opinion, essential pieces of baby equipment.

A baby can't walk anywhere, and it's a pain to haul a stroller out for every little trip into a store or library. The strap-on carriers keep your hands free and keep most babies more contented than they are in strollers. Win-win.

I am with FreemanHunt on this. My wife and I hike a lot - short 3-4 mile hikes during the late afternoon/evening in the summer and long 10-12 mile hikes in the weekends. The trails around here are usually rather steep where you can have a 600 to 1000 foot elevation change in a 3 mile walk.

When my wife's 5 year old nephew comes to visit, he LOVES to go on hikes with us. Especially the downhill parts. His short legs get tired keeping up on the uphill parts and an all-terrain stroller is the only way to make sure we all enjoy the walk.

So..yes, people with their weird rules for other parents: just shut up.

As Chip notes, however, some of the kids on that page are huge. By the time I was nine, I was expected to walk around Chicago all day long with my dad, a very speedy walker, when we went on our annual baseball vacation. To keep up, I often had to jog alongside him.

Well, my little daughter is going in a backpack carrier when she is strong enough to hold her head up. But having the Baby Bjorn enables me to keep my hands free for hiking poles, for grocery bags, for picking up the mail, for taking photographs..etc.

If you get a good one, they're just as comfortable for the baby and the man-vehicle. If you opt for an inexpensive one, your beau will have problems most likely where the straps pinch (not enough padding) or the waste (again, not padding) where the frame makes contact.

On a long hike, that pain builds up until you're on the verge of divorce over who last unloaded the dish washer. Things like an uncomfortable baby backpack can go from, "Honey, can you adjust this strap for me," to "SIR, PUT DOWN THE WEAPON AND COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP" very quickly.

Why? Because it offends you sensibilities? It's a tool that allows a parent to control their small child while still allowing the child to explore and exercise. I'm confident that no toddler's self-esteme has ever been damaged by wearing one.

Actually they are halters on a tether and they work very well for keeping your toddler from running off suddenly and into danger.

I haven't been in the children mode for quite some time now. However, since I became a grandmother in January, I've been shopping for baby and kid stuff lately.

It is amazing how things have changed since I was raising a child. Everything (strollers, car seats, high chairs) has gotten HUGE and extremely complicated. Way over engineered.

Also is there anything that doesn't have flashing lights, animation, music, moving doo dads? Seriously, talk about sensory overload. When do the kids get to use their own imagination and develop their own creativity?

When do the kids get to use their own imagination and develop their own creativity?

They really don't. My mom and mil cannot understand why I refuse to have a DVD player in the car. Yes, it would be convenient, but then I would never be pushed to plan fun games and songs for our trips and the kids would not learn to amuse themselves. When extended family gathers, on either side, the kids are often hooked up to electronic devices of one sort or another. The adults are hooked up too.

I hated the stroller so my kids walked a lot. I'm not a shopper so I didn't need the stroller for long days in the mall, nor did I need the stroller to hold all my shopping bags....which is why a friend recommended I get a twin stroller. I thought that was silly. I also hated the idea of leashing my kids--partly because they were accustomed to holding my hand and partly because the possibility of tripping up a stranger with the leash was alarming. Put a rambunctious child on a long rope? Would you also let them play with those toy golf clubs in a crowd?

As for those long days at amusement parks...WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? Kids just don't require that much entertainment.

Nothing is acceptable anymore. The "leash", the play "pen", whatever. And heaven help you if you let your child walk and they duck behind something.

I like the strollers, though, even when the kids seem a bit old for them. That the kids are in the stroller when you see them doesn't mean they weren't walking for all the time you weren't looking. Being someplace with a tired out kid SUCKS.

"Your life has truly reached an admirable level of ease and contentment if the only thing you can find to bitch about is the occasional need to walk around a stroller......What I truly find annoying is women who take out children with disabilities or excessive ugliness in public. Disabled and ugly children are so depressing. It's a real downer just looking at them. Maybe if more people would criticize such overly indulgent mothers, they would leave their kids at home."

Thank you, William. This is my reaction as well.

Heaven help you if you don't have enough hands, or a strong enough back, or just stay home where you belong.

I say do what works for you and your family, and ignore the cranks and busybodies. There's no pleasing them, anyway, and even if you manage to please them, it only encourages them in their cranky, busybody ways.

When I was growing up back in the 1960s, no self-respecting kid who could walk would want to be seen in a stroller looking like an overgrown baby. It would have been embarassing. And my parents certainly wouldn't have indulged me like that.

Rule of thumb: If she's old enough to cross her legs, she's old enough to use them to walk.

Usually the folks who gripe the loudest about kids being "too big" for a stroller are also the people who will huff and puff with frustration at a parent and young kids moving at preschool-pace through the crosswalk, the ones whose purses or gesturing hands will smack your kid right in the face because they simply don't register the below-eye-level kid on a busy sidewalk. Or they loooove to talk about how we're all fat and lazy because we drive everywhere, not recognizing that strollers make it possible for us to drive *less*. There's a park a mile from my house. If my daughter walks there, and plays hard, she's too tired to walk another mile back. So I can drive there and back, and miss out on a mile walk for her and two miles for me, or I can offend some of y'all by taking an umbrella stroller with us and pushing a tired, well-exercised four-year-old home in it.

In Park Slope which is the next neighborhood over in Brownstone Brooklyn, the stroller issue has been a big problem for a long time now. There is a big conflict between the hipster dofous brigade and the people they call "breeders."

In a bar on Union St they had a set up where in the front they had couches and stuff as well as a full indoor bocce court as well as table in the back. A bunch of Moms liked to come in at happy hour and park their strollers in the couch area and have a couple of cocktails while their demon seeds wailed and wiggled in the strollers. It got to the point where they had to ban them. Several bars and restaruants have followed suit.

I have a big problem with strollers in my store. Typically they would roll in and track leaves and dirt and dog shit from the wheels on the new rugs I just put in. The mom or even worse the nanny likes to wheel around the store and bump into displays so they can knock down jewerly so it can break and stuff. They don't pay attention as their little darlings reach out with chocolates smeared hands to rub on $500 dresses. I have to police them very vigorously to avoid problems. It is a giant pain in the ass. I don't want to ban them but I might get to that point.

I've never been a big stroller person. Despite having two kids, we've never even owned a double stroller. But, I also can't stand the I-know-what's-best-for-EVERYBODY'S-kids school of thought. Is there anything that invokes such a constant stream of criticism and jockeying than parenting?

Anyhow, here a ton of people have these little attachable step things that go on to the back of a stroller. Then, if older brother/sister gets tired on a long walk, they can hop up on the step and hold on to the stroller handle and take a little rest. Genius.

You are right, Just Lurking. The site is mean-spirited. Childless people often are when children get in their way.

Though the site is mean, I do not like to see Mom and Dad hauling/pushing children around when the child is old enough to walk. Obviously, (right?), this does not apply to disabled children. However. Parents of disabled children are generally prepared for the needs of their children--those aren't the parents letting a nine-y/o squash herself into a stroller meant for a toddler. Parents of disabled children do not head out to an all-day excursion to the zoo or the amusement park without being prepared for the comfort of their child who will need a ride. At least I hope not.

--The problem with a kid leash is that our little dude thinks that he is a Rebel Snowspeeder, and I am an At-At.

Best comment I've heard all day. My second son would do that if he could, and laugh the whole time.

My problem isn't with strollers, it's with raising kids so they are used to being ignored. The 5 yr old in a stroller at Disney or a zoo? No problem. The kids in strollers so mom can talk on her cell rather than talk to her kids? Big problem. Kids should be in the world running around, picking daisies, stopping inconveniently for rocks mid-intersection, jumping in puddles and otherwise living life while keeping their parents on edge :) And parents should largely then find a way to make that an okay world for them to be in--and enjoy it. In Manhattan, I'm willing to give parents the benefit of the doubts and assume strollers are lock-up devices to keep kids from getting killed by other vehicles. But it'd better for them to live somewhere where kids can be kids.

The even more frightening thing is kids that old with pacifiers in their mouths. Not seen and not heard is the order of the day, it seems.

Pardon me for saying what seems to me to be the obvious, but isn't this ignoring much, if not most, of history?

And not just the aristocratic part. Do you think farm families of, say, 7+, of a 100 years ago spent all that much time focusing on individual attention? For just one example among myriad, my maternal grandmother, God rest her soul, the youngest of more'n a dozen, would beg to differ.

The problem is that if they have the kids with them they just can not shop. The kids always without exception demand attention and act out. So they would sit in the play pen and scream. Not conducive to selling high end fashion.

Used to work retail in a mall store in a kids' department, so I'm familiar with the problem.

1. Never touch the kids unless you're fitting them. Herding them with a look or by getting ahead of them is okay.

2. Talk to the kids and the mom will shop. Usually kids are pretty bored, so they'll calm down right away if you talk to them in a casual way. (Or they'll be so surprised you're talking to them that they'll go shy and quiet. But either way.)

3. Give the kids an advertising flyer to play with, or a b/w printout of a picture. Never give them anything small enough to swallow by mistake.

4. Always have handwipes and/or tissues behind the counter to give the kids. And paper towels. And know where the trash can is, in case somebody needs to throw up.

--ardon me for saying what seems to me to be the obvious, but isn't this ignoring much, if not most, of history?

No. Kids were put to work. Doing something, being taught how to do it, being corrected is a lot more interactive than being stuck seated in a stroller. A lot of that work was watching the other children, so even smaller kids weren't ignored but played with by other children.