Stretching for the lazy

So in 2013 I started BJJ, started lifting and even improved my eating habits.
Time to make goals for 2014. Best to start with the worst.

Stretching. I fucking hate it. Seriously. I have patience for everything but stretching.

We do a bit of stretching in BJJ class but just as part of warm up and not enough to really progress.

Now if I try to do it at home, I always think I need to properly warm up. Problem is the little warm up escalates to an full blown work out. Or in the middle of the stretching, I remember that technique I need to work on. Well you get the idea.

So I need you guys to give me the ultimate stretching routine. Grappling specific is a plus. Should include the most important things that need to be stretched. Dynamic and Static. Just a "Do this **** every day and shut the **** up. Seriously shut up". Reasonably long. No long warm up required. Idiot proof. No excuses.

Sure you can look at up good routines online but hearing from you guys motivates more. And yes I have read some older threads on stretching.

Oh and as a back-story: One of the reasons I hate stretching is probably because in the past I never progressed much and when I did I was too eager and injured myself. Mostly cause of lack of knowledge about proper stretching, I guess.

I've been following Kelly Starret's Mobility WOD (just search youtube) and its like 8-10 minutes a day of stretching each day. I have only been at it a few days but its simple enough and you figure out pretty quickly what you need to work on.

I've been following Kelly Starret's Mobility WOD (just search youtube) and its like 8-10 minutes a day of stretching each day. I have only been at it a few days but its simple enough and you figure out pretty quickly what you need to work on.

I've been following Kelly Starret's Mobility WOD (just search youtube) and its like 8-10 minutes a day of stretching each day. I have only been at it a few days but its simple enough and you figure out pretty quickly what you need to work on.

Can't stand that guy...

That said,
here's a well written, and scientifically sound review of his book:

As for the OP, you might consider looking into Dr Andreo Spina's work, he does a lot of BJJ specific stuff:

He's a little intense but the WOD structure gives me something to work on each day makes it easier for me to actually work on my mobility instead of saying "I am sore" and doing jack about it. I like Spina's stuff too though.

He's a little intense but the WOD structure gives me something to work on each day makes it easier for me to actually work on my mobility instead of saying "I am sore" and doing jack about it. I like Spina's stuff too though.

He's a douche and doesn't know what he's talking about with regards to pain, it seems.
Read that review.
His "rebuttals" to any criticism are awful.

I have no problem with "intense".
That's why many people seek out trainers etc.

This is actually the main problem I have with the book and with the MWOD stuff. There is definitely some good information there. (Tthe fundamental movement pattern stuff is good.) I also don't I think he says anything that is that wrong. (Other than some of the we cured this cronic problem in a day stuff.) The problem for me is that I completely phase out before he can ever get to his point.

He could have put that **** into a 5 page pamphlet, and it would have been great. Very hard to charge €70 for a pamphlet though - which is what Supple Leopard would cost if you bought it new in the shop across from my office.