Reality Tea

At this point in the season, Peggy Sulahian doesn’t have much going on in Real Housewives of Orange County. She’s not close with any of these women and her main story line is still abundantly unclear. Hopefully she brings it because at this point the insensitive jokes are just falling flat and pinching Meghan Edmonds’ lips was far from iconic. Give me a table flip or throw a dish.

Even though Peggy is picking at (and pinching) Meghan in her quest to befriend the OG of the OC Vicki Gunvalson, at this point she is pretty much dispensable even though she’s the topic of some horrible rumors outside of the show.

Shannon Beador wants us all to know, again, that she will never forgive Vicki Gunvalson! And after seeing Vicki mock her on this week’s episode of Real Housewives Of Orange County, Shannon is “Done!” She’s “F–king DONE!” OK, just kidding – she’s actually still not done talking about Vicki, but she is opening a restaurant.

“One of my least favorite parts of the show is watching back what other people say about you,” shares Shannon, who failed Reality TV 101. “It can get quite frustrating and hurtful when people don’t accurately describe your intentions and say cruel things.”

Aside from shamelessly promoting her magazine, her main story line this season is her supposed quest to reunite the friendships in the cast- even though she herself never kept in touch with Vicki Gunvalson and Tamra Judge when she left the show and she isn’t close to anyone in the cast. It all seems way out of bounds for her take on, but she is still really pushing this “friendship whisperer” nonsense.

After an entertaining and tumultuous season sailing around Croatia, the cast of Below Deck Mediterranean is on dry land and ready to face the emotional pirates of their past voyage. Heading up this charter is a take no prisoners when it comes to love, Andy Cohen, who wants nothing more than to get to the bottom of Chef Adam Glick’s heart. Over and over, we have to relive Adam’s take on Malia White, the one that got away, although she’s really less of “the one that got away” and more of “the one who played two guys like a pro and ended up with the other, who she may or may not be dating still (but we all know she is)”. You’re not fooling anyone, Malia! Just because you come to the reunion dressed like you’re on the Real Housewives of the Croatian Seas, doesn’t mean you get to play the same coy games they do.

Before Andy dives in, he starts with a few ice breakers like, who is still working together? Wesley Wiz Walton and Christine “Bugsy” Drake, who is finally the Chief Stew of something besides her own fantasy world. Who would be Hannah Ferrier’s perfect interior crew? Julia and Tiffany from last season and Lauren Cohen from this season, despite the fact that she talked crap on Hannah the whole time. How did Captain Sandy Yawn feel about Adam mistaking her for the Chief Stew? It doesn’t bother her, she is used to it and she thinks it’s fun to surprise sexist chefs who are too proud to follow a preference sheet people.

Even though Peter Thomasacted like a full-time cast member on Real Housewives of Atlanta, it was actually his ex wife Cynthia Bailey who was a Housewife on the show. With that said, it is not at all surprising that Peter would want to do his own spin-off show. In all honesty, I had no idea that Peter had a big enough following (or a following in general) to justify getting his own show, but obviously he would jump at the chance.

Peter never got to hold up a peach in the RHOAintro, but he might as well have. He was all about the drama on a show he wasn’t even cast for, so I’m sure he will stir things up on his own show.

As last night’s Dance Moms begins, Abby Lee Miller is no where to be seen. She’s two days away from her sentencing, and traipsing around Europe. Is it my birthday? It’s the greatest gift, for sure. Ashlee is is thrilled to bring in Laureanne Gibson, a choreographer and life-changer for stars like Lady Gaga, Beyonce, the Jonas Brothers, and Demi Lavato. Google her, y’all. She’s so tickled to get to work with young dancers and take a break from P. Diddy (Puff Daddy?) and Katy Perry to get the ALDC off their cuckoo for cocoa puffs hamster wheel. Laurieanne has won Emmys and MTV awards, she is ready to break down the monotony of the dance competition world. As she spouts off her resume and accolades and star proteges, Kira interrupts to remind her that this group is on a time frame. Laurieanne questions whether Abby has held back any of the dancers, and hands go up all over the room.

Nia tears up remembering how hard Abby was on her when she embarked on her music career. But guess what? Laurieanne is faster, stronger, better. She’s time, people. Like, literally, she said she’s not worried about time because she IS time. While I’m wrapping my head around this admission, I realize I’m just thrilled to be without the pyramid. When she dismisses the mothers, I’m like, Boom. She’s cray, but I love it.

Brandi was upset after reading one Stephanie’s Bravo blog posts that she felt slammed her marriage and refused to talk to Stephanie for months… until they started filming Season 2, of course. There’s no way to get out of that contractually obligated interaction, especially since this still a new show and all of these cast members are replaceable. They saw each other for the first time in a while during the Season 2 premiere episode and Brandi refused to open her mouth when Stephanie went up to her at Mark Deuber’s birthday party. Even though hey did not speak during the episode, they both have a lot to say about everything that went down now that it has aired.