Spring is here, and so is the realisation that I have entirely too much crap.

My wardrobe physically cannot fit any more clothes. My bookshelves are buckling under the weight of so many books and I have piles of stuff everywhere that I keep meaning to get around to sorting.

It’s actually to the point where the hallway is lined with piles of my stuff, because it won’t fit in my room.

So how did it get to this point?

Well, I guess I’ve always had a tendency to accumulate stuff. While I’m not a shopaholic by any means, I have been prone to bouts of retail therapy. I’ve also learnt I have poor impulse control. And thus, I have ended up with way more stuff than one person will ever need in their lifetime – and most of it useless!

And so here I am, drowning in crap. I need a plan of action.

This is where The Crap Files comes in. Over the next few months I will regularly update you guys on how I’m progressing with cleaning out my crap. My end goal is to get rid of 50% of my possessions by my birthday next year, May 1st.

From a mixture of sell, discard and donate, I will whittle down my clutter and hopefully end up with a wee bit of money to tuck away in my savings (hellloooo, trip to Europe)!

Today, I started by going through my bulging wardrobe and managing to find 38 gorgeous dresses, jackets and tops that I hardly ever wear (or no longer fit) – some even with tags on – to sell on TradeMe. I’ve taken photos of everything and am slowly listing them all for probably way less money than I should.

If you want to stalk my TradeMe account (some people are into that) and get yourself a bargain on my second hand goods, then you can do so here. Otherwise, keep your eye out for more posts and probably a few breakdowns (how did it get this bad oh god why me).

As I mentioned yesterday, I got a kick ass goodie bag at the #BrunchClub on Sunday. I thought I’d give a a run down on the stuff that was in it and my first impression.

Eco Store Haul
Shampoo, Conditioner, Body Lotion, Lip Balm and Laundary Powder
I’m pretty happy with these! I’ve been having issues with various shampoos and conditioners for awhile and these ones are Paraben and Sodium Lauryl/Laureth Sulphate free. I’ve been searching for a shampoo like this for awhile so hopefully it’s as good as they promise. The lip balm is awesome too, by the way.

Artmeis Stress Relief Tea
I’m a bit of a tea snob. I have a large tin of the T2 Just Peppermint tea – it’s pretty much exclusively what I drink. I don’t have a tea strainer contraption thing at present, so it may be awhile before I make this. I’m awfully curious to try it, so I might just have to buy one.

Mrs Rogers Moroccan Seasoning (not pictured)I looooooove Moroccan seasoning. Back when I still ate carbs, my go-to lunch was couscous covered in moroccan seasining with chicken. I’m going to have a go at seasoning some chicken breast with this stuff in future. Watch out for it as a shitty food porn feature.

Pop Roc Parties
I got some string and some black sticky things. I seriously have no idea what these are for. If anyone could enlighten me, that’d be great. (Bottom right in photo

True Holistic Beauty Rejuvenating Hand Cream
This stuff looks awesome, and is really nicely presented. My problem is I have like 50 million hand creams floating around and it’s going to take me years to get through them all. Don’t tell her, but this is probably going to end up as Laura’s Christmas present.

The Fairy Light Shop Battery Fairy Lights
These actually look cool. I’m thinking of the most nefarious way of using them. Will update in the future.

Kokako Cold Pressed Coffee (not pictured)
I hate coffee. HATE it. I don’t know why it exists. Why would anyone drink it when there are delicious sugar-free V’s in this world? Anyway, I gave it to my boyfriend who said it was a bit average. He’s not really a coffee fan though. So, if you actually like coffee, don’t take this as a strike against it.

Flossie Concierge Gift Voucher ($10)
I’ve used Flossie before to buy vouchers for different beauty services. Flossie Concierge is actually an app for your smartphone. You tell it the service you want, pick some salons, dates, times etc and they match you with someone who has an availability at that time. I like the idea, but sadly, while they have the Britomart Off Wax loaded into it, they don’t have Newmarket. I work just around the corner from there and it’s my usual spot to get my waxing done. I’m not going all the way into the city. I’ll keep checking – apparently they’re always adding new places.

Whew. A whole blog post and not one mention of poop. I’m losing my touch. Normal programming will return soon.

Do you ever have those moments where you suddenly realise “Wow, I’m a insert-thing-here”? I’ve had a few interesting ones over the last few years. The day I realised “Hey, I’m a draughtsman!” – I have a job with a job title that means something specific. All my previous jobs had been generic retail and customer service jobs with no real description. Then there was day (after being single for about a year and a half) that I was like “Hey, I’m someone’s girlfriend! Cool!”

Well, on Sunday I had another one of those moments. I realised I was a blogger. Sure, I’m only two posts in, I’m still new to this. But the fact is, it’s something I’ve decided to commit to. Every word I type cements the fact that I am now a blogger (among all the other things I am).

So what brought upon this amazing revelation? Well, I attended the October #BrunchClub (I’m not gonna lie, I feel dirty using that hashtag), formerly known as #BloggersBrunchClub.

It was sitting there, having people ask me “So, what’s your blog about?” (I responded with a blank face, then “Uh.. I wrote something about pooping at work?” for the record) that made me realise, I’m one of them. I’m a blogger!

The brunch itself was a really great experience (thanks Laura and Lizzy for organising)! I met some wonderful new people.. and even caught up with people I went to uni with (Ben)!

It was held at the Tuihana Cafe on Dominion Road in Mt Eden. It was a cool little space. The menu had a fairly good range and the drinks were excellent. I would say the hot chocolate I had was easily in my Top 3 best ever Hot Chocolate list.

This brunch was a little bit different than usual. Not only did we get some awesome goodie bags (which I’ll tell you all about in my next post), but we also got to hear from Nate, the owner of Tuihana cafe.

It wasn’t quite the talk we were expecting to get. I guess there was a miscommunication somewhere. It was still interesting and informative though, and I learnt heaps about how to run a cafe. Which is totally relevant to my life (it’s not at all). Despite that, I came away from it feeling motivated. It was great to see someone achieving something and being so passionate about it and looking to improve all the time. That’s probably what has inspired me to post for the first time in a month. Pretty sure it won;t be another month before the next one. 😉

Today, I will be touching on a very important topic. Etiquette when using toilets in the workplace.

For anyone who has ever been gainfully employed (selling your labour to an employer in exchange for currency) you will have probably needed to use the toilet while on the clock at least once.

But there are some simple rules one must abide by that no one ever discusses, so now I am writing the unwritten rules for using the loo while at work.

1. Not giggling at others farts unless they laugh first

Sometimes when you’re settling in for a good wee, the muscles just relax and out slips a little parp (or a big parp – what did you have for lunch guuurrl?!). I was in a bathroom once with a lady who let out a quick sharp series of farts, followed by a giggle and a “Sorry!” – more and more farts proceeded along with more giggles. We both sat in our cubicles uncontrollable giggling (while she was uncontrollably farting). This is totally fine and completely hillarious. Farts are funny. What isn’t funny is laughing at someones farts when they’re not laughing. Some farts are better left unacknowledged. Those farts are not brought into this world to entertain, but merely to relieve the pain of gas from that spicy goat curry you had earlier.

Oh you are in for a TREAT. I’m a bit of a whiz in the kitchen as you’ll learn in future posts, so I thought I’d share one of my amazing creations. Not only does it taste great, but it looks amazing too!*

*It looks as bad as it tastes, TBH.

Without any further ado, here are five simple steps to replicate my Keto friendly Bunless Hotdogs.

OH HEY

That's my face. I'm Katie, twenty-something. I live in Auckland, New Zealand and kind of suck at being a girl - not to mention being an adult. Join me on my adventure of inevitable screw ups as I try to figure out how everyone else does it.