They order hamburgers. They balk at fast food menus. Well, they balk at most menus. They walk among us in silent protest of processed dairy, and they say it"s because it smells funny, or that it tastes rotten, or that it"s "too creamy." I"m sorry, that"s not even a thing. They are the cheese haters.* Though they are an admittedly small minority in this country, their rejection of cheese so markedly appalls and offends us cheese lovers, they might as well hate puppies--or freedom. I"m a tolerant person (here comes the but), but whenever I meet someone who doesn"t eat cheese, I"m equal parts confounded and disgusted. (Here comes the other but) But, I choose to stick around because I"m sure I can save--I mean help--them. I"m usually frantic during these fledgling encounters, shoving key exceptions down their throats as if the slightest movement in the other direction makes a difference in my life. For your frame of reference, here"s how that conversation typically goes down:

Me: You don"t like cheese? Are you insane? Them: No, I just don"t like cheese. Me: *Silence* Them: It"s not a big deal. Me: But you like pizza right? Mozzarella is a mild cheese. Them: No. Me: Queso dip??? Them: No. Me: MACARONI AND CHEESE? Them: No. Me: WHY? IT"S NOT EVEN STINKY. I DON"T GET IT! Them: I"m sorry, I"ve just never liked it. Me: WHO ARE YOU????

1. High Fat Content
Cheese, especially processed American cheese, has a lot of saturated fats. These fats are not healthy. By eating one slice of Domino"s Pizza, Americans get two-thirds the daily fat intake just from the cheese.

2. High Salt Content
Much of the cheese available in stores has a lot of sodium, which is bad for your heart. Some cheeses are low in sodium, but many are not.

3. Too Many Calories
Cheese has too many calories that are difficult to eliminate when you exercise. To combat the cheese, you would have to exercise double the amount of time. Calories from fat also aren"t the calories you want in your body.

4. Animal Enzymes
Manufacturers like to use rennet in their cheeses. This is an enzyme that comes from calves" stomachs. To get this enzyme, manufacturers have to kill newborn calves. If you are an animal lover, you might not want to eat this. If you prefer vegetarian cheese, it"s made from bacteria, which is not healthy to ingest.

5. Unhealthy Processes
Often, manufacturers process the cheese using unhealthy practices. The cows are given hormones to produce more milk. These hormones are passed to humans when they consume dairy. The machines also could put infections into the cheese.

6. Leads to Diseases
When you eat the fat, salt and calories, you pack on the pounds. When you become overweight, you have a higher risk of heart disease and diabetes.

7. Mold
Brie-makers spray on mold to make the white rind. Others have mold included in the cheese. This is not very healthy to consume.

8. High Cholesterol
Cheese has a large amount of the bad cholesterol. This also can lead to diseases.

Why you up in this store? What you looking for? Cheese? I'm cheddar, I'm much better than the rest of these Don't speak too fast, you need to get a load of dis. I'm Swiss Alright, white boy, they get the gist... Got more holes in my body than my boy 50-cent Curdled on the streets - Geneva represent! We're Vinny and Louie forget about the other cheeses We're so hardcore, you gotta grate us to eat us You other chumps are weak If you ask me I can bring you to your knees with my pungency I'm not weak I'm strong I'll add flavor to your salad all night long We know you want to put us in your mouth and chew, don't you? We know you do! I'm old, I'm stuck in my ways I'm stuck in you're teeth and in you're breath for days Baaaaaaaaaah I got mo' flavor then y'all I make a wicked cheese ball My hobbies include doing bird-call Can someone take over for me? I'm living large in a condo If I break a hip don't put me in a home bro But paps, you don't even have a hip though Ohh This is breaking my heart, just tell them what they want yo We know you want to put us in your mouth and chew, don't you? we know you do! We know you want to put us in your mouth and chew, don't you? You know, we know, we know you do! - So, what kind of cheese you wanna get? - I don't think I'm in the mood for cheese You know, we know, we know you do

Reasons for voting decision: I was not particularly compelled by Pro's arguments against cheese for health reasons, I do know in fact that many of the suppositions he takes are false and without sources. I thought that Con's rap was fresh as a motherfu-. However, it is clear that Pro had more of a debate attitude, even though he is a filthy cheese-hater.

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