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What would Gareth Southgate teach our children?

These days we all think we know a little bit about what
#GarethSouthgateWould. There have been thousands of tweets about how Gareth
Southgate would bottle feed injured birds, give you a lift to the airport and
always know which day to put the bins out after a bank holiday.

In truth, of course, none of us really know what Gareth
Southgate would do. Like the time my husband was cornered by a persistent
stalker in a West London shop and asked: “if you were Gareth Southgate, would
you tell me?” A question that I believe even the real England Manager might
have been puzzled by.

I’ve followed Gareth Southgate’s career closely, because my
husband does bear an almost uncanny resemblance to him. I could tell so many
stories about this. How for years we went to our regular Indian restaurant on
the Isle of Dogs as Mr. and Mrs. Southgate, because in the end it was easier
than continuing protesting: “no, there’s no relation”. How one time in an
airport in Portugal, an acquaintance of ours mistook the real Gareth Southgate
to be my husband.

So few days ago, when “Neil
from Surrey” emerged in news as the one true Gareth Southgate lookalike, I
was a bit amused. Looking at this man, I can tell you that there are definitely
more than #onlytwoGarethSouthgates. Since then, lots of bearded men started
posting pictures of themselves wearing a waistcoat. I found myself feeling a
bit annoyed. Then I felt a bit ridiculous with my annoyance.

“How dare these imposters invade on our turf?? We are, and
always will be, the only real fake
Southgates!”

Perhaps my annoyance was to do with the fact that it took so
long for Gareth Southgate to get the recognition and opportunity I always felt
he deserved. For years we had been watching him on tv, wishing him well like he
were a distant, famous relative or something (it’s difficult not to feel that
way, when even your four-year-old daughter goes: “daddy, you and that man have
the same head!”)

However ridiculous the original reasons behind my Gareth
Southgate fascination may be, I have been giving his recent success a lot of
thought. In so many football tournaments I have seen the England players
shaking at the penalty spot, as if always knowing that afterwards they would be
blamed and shamed by the media. It is like the grown-up equivalent of putting
someone on the naughty step for spilling their milk. No good will come out of
it.

Of course you need good players to score goals, but I
believe it takes more than just choosing the right players to be a great
England Manager. It takes someone with emotional intelligence and the right
communication skills. Someone who genuinely wants you to succeed, but will
understand how you feel if you don’t. Someone who will stand between you and the
rest of England, managing expectations. And yes, someone who has been shaking
in that penalty spot and come out stronger.

Seeing Gareth Southgate comfort the Colombian player who
missed the crucial penalty was enough to make me teary. What a fantastic role
model for any child it would be, to see your parent comfort the boy in the
other team that just lost the game? Signalling: “I genuinely care about how you
feel”.

Now Gareth Southgate is being baked into a national hero and
a style icon – and I would say rightly so. Soon he may have done more for the
struggling M&S clothing line than the Duchess of Cambridge ever did for any high street brand. People seem to think that Gareth Southgate would be your ideal
neighbour and co-worker.

Personally I think it’s worth reflecting on how we could all
aspire to be more like Gareth Southgate as parents. Let us teach our children that success is about
perseverance and quite often can be achieved through understanding other people
and caring about their feelings.

And, like just about everyone in England, I am so hoping
that it’s coming home! But whatever happens, congratulations to you Gareth.
Positively no one could have pulled off what you have done.

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About me

I recently bought 7 acres of land in Essex and survived a major renovation project, while becoming a mum (twice) and working in London. This blog is about my passion for beautiful interiors, gardens, equines and happy family life in the country.