MGM Gears up Cabin in the Woods, Red Dawn and Robocop Remakes

Looks like MGM is making waves — unfortunately two of the projects they’re making said waves with are remakes. Totally pointless remakes, at that. But hey, the idea behind “Red Dawn” sounds kind of rad. And post-9/11, aren’t we all a little ready for more homeland invasion movies? THR has an article about MGM’s upcoming slate of films, including slating Joss Whedon’s “Cabin in the Woods” for 2009, with “Cloverfield” scribe Drew Goddard set to make his directorial debut on the film. Meanwhile, the “Red Dawn” remake is definitely happening, with MGM hiring Carl Ellsworth to pen the script and Dan Bradley to direct.

More on “Cabin in the Woods” — well not really, they seem to be going the “Cloverfield” route with this one, which probably means secretive shooting dates, fake movie titles, etc.

“This has to be considered the dream scenario for a first-time director,” Goddard said. “I get to make a movie with my best friend at a studio that’s shown us nothing but aggressive love from the start. This script is very near and dear to my heart — I can’t wait to step behind the camera and mess up all the parts Joss wrote.”

Said Whedon: “The new MGM is the perfect place for Drew to do the kind of work I know he can do. Except for when I’m subtly sabotaging him because I’m jealous of his talent and height.”

Whedon and Parent have their own history. They worked together on “Serenity,” which Whedon wrote and directed for Universal. And Parent is the producer on “Goners,” a secretive Whedon script that Universal bought in 2005.

The “Cabin in the Woods” plot line remains equally murky, and efforts to provoke a description from Parent were met with resistance.

Whedon is a funny dude.

About the “Red Dawn” and possible “Robocop” remakes:

Parent and MGM chairman and CEO Harry Sloan announced the “Red Dawn” remake — along with a big-budget rebuild of “RoboCop,” which director Darren Aronofsky among others has recently been in to discuss — in May at the Festival de Cannes. As the studio regroups, its executives have realized that they also can exploit the numerous classic and cult properties in the strong MGM library for a new audience. (Parent seems equally willing to take risks on such freshman directors as Goddard and Bradley.)

The original “Dawn” was the Cold War brainchild of writer-director John Milius, who devised a World War III invasion of America by the Soviets and Cubans.

“The tone is going to be very intense, very much keeping in mind the post-9/11 world that we’re in,” Ellsworth said. “As ‘Red Dawn’ scared the heck out of people in 1984, we feel that the world is kind of already filled with a lot of paranoia and unease, so why not scare the hell out of people again?”

You know what would be a really scary scenario for a “Red Dawn” remake? An invasion of America by Belgium using Mexico as their way in. Imagine the horror of being forced to eat Belgian waffles. Every morning! Well there’s only one way to fight that tyranny, kids. Wolverines!!!!

And in case you missed it — yes, that was Darren Aronofsky’s name they had attached to potentially direct the “Robocop” remake.