Thursday, October 9, 2008

12 Weeks

I am so bipolar today.

On the one hand, I am elated to have made it to 12 weeks. I feel like we have overcome so much. We got pregnant! And we had embryos to freeze. The pregnancy wasn't chemical. Our betas doubled nicely! The baby was in the uterus, not some tube. There were two babies! They had heartbeats! Today is my last PIO shot (wahoo!!!!) And they continue to grow, so far.

But all of that can be gone in a heartbeat.

My friend JamieD lost her twins this week. And I am so heartbroken for her. And I know that that could have been me, and it still could be me. There are no guarantees just because I reached 12 weeks. It all just seems to senseless, and so random. And scary.

I was planning to write about how much better I've been feeling, and go on and on about meaningless details of my day, but it all seems so trivial now.

Please hold Jamie and her husband in your hearts. She deserves better.