I cant remember

I was thinking and I honestly can't remember the last time I was truely happy. I mean it. All that I can remember Iv been just in this downward spiral of my own depression. It's annoying I don't have any 100% positive memory's I can think of to cheer myself up. It seems my life is guided by the pursuit of "ingorence is bliss" it's these little distractions from the glaring black hole of my self hatred that get me through the day.

I personally think back to really my dogs when I can for happiness. I don't know if you have any pets at all or have every had any. They've just always have been a source of happiness for me because they just love you for you.