A Humble Flame…

This morning I had a thought while I was sipping my coffee and for a split second I stopped writing. My breath was taken away by the humble beauty of the idea…

I want to be on fire for Jesus. Not a street preacher who is tossing around scripture out of context. Not the Christian that speaks of grace, mercy, and forgiveness but can’t put their regurgitated words of kindness into practice. Not the one who just shows up to church to meet a husband, because my parents made me, or to fulfill a checklist.

I want to be an authentic, loving, admits her mistakes, weaknesses and fears but puts every last breath into believing and following her King kind of a Christian. Believing, as in knowing what mercy, sacrifice, grace, love, and acts of a Savior were poured out so that I {us} could live in total and complete freedom, forever. Following, as in I don’t use the Christian label as a “cool” factor, to have good moral standing or first impression. I mean that I will accept God’s guiding hand and do my best to go, do, and be where He leads.

That kind of fire…the kind of fire that soothes your soul, warms your heart, and brings you peace.

I’m not living to find perfection or anything close to it. Sometimes, we as Christians get prideful and stand on our pedestal believing that we are better than the rest of the world whether they believe and follow or if they are guarded with all their walls up. I know that we forget, and sometimes we speak without thinking. When we are believing and following we are all in different phases anyway, it’s not about who is doing the most right. {How do you know where someone else is being called?} It’s about loving unconditionally, being accepting, and knowing that you are never done, never complete. Don’t expect from others what you shouldn’t expect of yourself. We are a beautiful, constructive, beloved, desired, always being improved upon, works in progress.

Breathe, take the pressure off of yourself. Jesus doesn’t put it on you.

I want to live this life to the fullest with a heart on fire for God and all that He’s done and still doing in and through me and others. The goal is to simply be real and authentic through my life with people I have just met or people I have known for years. Not condemning, not being judgmental, not assuming but being loving and being vulnerable the whole way through.

I am constantly humbled when I realize that my goal in life is not to beat someone else out for a title or a position, it is not to fix everything that is wrong, and it is not to evaluate anyone else or try to make them better. My goal in life is to live as the human being that I was created to be, to cherish and protect as the daughter, sister, friend that I am, and to constantly come back to my center, asking Him what the next step, move, breath is.

That fire is the constant flickering flame that never goes out, that always pursues, always guides, always provides…