(Picture by Fox_Fotography!!!!)
Leather Bear Tails is about the leather journey of my slave and I. It deals with all parts of the leather and BDSM experience from safety to predators, to skills, and all of the lovely mistakes that she and I make along the way!!
Also!! I have written a book called "M/s for the Rest of Us" it can be found for purchase here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/k-e-enzweiler/ms-for-the-rest-of-us/paperback/product-22151343.html

I have written a book called "M/s for the Rest of Us" it is available for purchase here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/k-e-enzweiler/ms-for-the-rest-of-us/paperback/product-22151343.html

Or on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Rest-Us-K-E-Enzweiler/dp/1329062213/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1432825657&sr=1-2&keywords=m%2Fs+for+the+rest+of+usI am the founder of the Albuquerque Masters Group. We meet once every other month. The group is open to all who wish to explore their Mastery, slavery, or Dominance and submission. Please contact me here or at my email : Bigdykebear@yahoo.com for more information! The meetings are free to all who wish to attend!

If you are interested in power munches, skills workshops or play parties in the Albuquerque area please contact the 20 year organization of AEL at:

aelmailing@gmail.com

If you are interested in active online community please find:

Fetlife.com

Group names for the Albuquerque Community Include:

Land Of Enchantment Fetlifers

Albuquerque Kinksters

KinkySpot Clubhouse

Albuquerque Master/slave forum

New Mexico Leather League: Leather/Kink/Fetish and More

Friday, September 28, 2012

I suppose I can wrap my head around just about anything, but that doesn't mean that my heart will follow, or that I will ever be able to reconcile the two. There are those things for all of us- those things that we can look at and say "well, OK, maybe", but still leave us shaking our heads and walking away.

These are those things for me. Those things that I can kind of say "well, OK, maybe", but the reality for me is that I will most likely never understand, and honestly, there is a part of me that doesn't even want to.

I know that there are lesbians that are owned only by men
and loaned out to single males or heterosexual couples for the man’s use.

I can understand in
my head that this is a lesbian identified woman with a fetish for having sex
with men, however that plays out.

But in my heart I
cannot get around the feeling that when they do this they compromise the safety
of the rest of us. Women that choose to
identify as lesbian as a selling point and then only have sex with men make the
rest of us seem “turnable” by the already entitled male culture. The bragging that then occurs by the men that
have fucked the "lesbian” turns my stomach and makes me ill. But more
importantly it makes me look at my front door with a little more apprehension about what I am going to meet on the other side.

I know that there are
people that play with concepts of race and religious persecution.

I can understand in my head that the people that play in
those ways are people that obtain an emotional, sexual, physical, and
psychological release that can only occur when they delve into those types of
play. Being a practitioner of race play, I understand that need personally.

But in my heart these
things need to be left to the privacy of the home. Taking this into public
feeds, validates, and encourages the already growing racist and
anti-Semitic culture that has found a home in current BDSM.

In my head I can understand the tri-fec-ta of power that a
Dominant can use to take control of a submissive.

One: creating financial chaos to create an
unbalanced home life. Two: Giving and
taking away emotional support to create submission.

Three: convincing the submissive that they are
superior to the community while simultaneously being a victim of it. This
creates isolation of the submissive as well as develops a need for the
submissive to somehow protect the Dominant from the community that treated has them
so badly.

In my head I understand that these three things will bring
just about any submissive to their knees.

In my heart it is not
dominance, it is abuse.

I can understand a lot of things in my head, given enough
time.

But honestly even though
I say the words "well, it is their
kink.” Or “obviously it works for
them.” It doesn’t stop that feeling of getting punched in the stomach when I
see these things. Of feeling angry, and scared and compromised and a
questioning as to where are we really going as a BDSM culture?

There is a repeated history that happens when an entire
culture encourages homophobia, racism, anti-Semitism, and abuse. It is ugly, it is violent, and it is
insidious.

I suppose there are those things that we all fight to understand
in our brains and reconcile in our hearts.
Sometimes we get there, sometimes we don’t.

Friday, September 21, 2012

I got to be the little kid sitting at the Big Kids table on
Monday!! IT WAS SO AWESOME! I just
needed a sippy cup and a bib!!!

I got to sit and listen to the Biggies talk about their lives,
and ask questions to Vi Johnson, Max Rulz, and Boi Robbie, and then I got to
embarrass myself at Guy Baldwin!

I am going to paraphrase some of the things here that were
said that I am still thinking about. These
are just parts of conversations, so bear with me as my head is still spinning
over the experience of Monday.

Safe words make lazy ass tops. They don’t have to think,
they don’t have to know anything, and they don’t have to watch their bottoms.

You can train a Monkey to flog, I can read a book and flog….
(In relationship to bottoms using safe words as manipulation.)

If you don’t trust - you will never fly.

Relationships, especially poly ones are not about the people
looking at each other- they are about the people in the relationship all
looking in the same direction.

You would learn because a Grand Master would be right at
your side saying watch this, and what do you see here, and what about this.

When I first asked
her to mentor me she hung up on me, it took a long time to convince her that I
really wanted to be mentored. Then it
was months of questions.

The best teacher for a new slave is another slave.

A Master can’t just bring in another slave and command that they
be family - that shit don’t fly. You can’t build from the top.

I can train a slave to clean, but I can’t train a slave to
not lie to me, that is my only deal breaker.

I am the keeper of secrets.

My other top moments:

Thank you to Saint for allowing me time with Chance. That was a blessing.

Thank you Sera for letting
me run you out of your own kitchen- that was erotic and a blessing!

My amazing slave dancing at the drop of a hat by request.

Ms. R telling me that she was a dominant after I asked her to
hand me my glass with both hands!!!!! OOOOPPPPPSSSS!!!!

Giving complete permission to SW, T, and A to sit on my
slave if she moves from her place before she finishes her lunch and her drink!

Honestly speaking I have had fantasies about things that I thought
would never happen in my lifetime.

Meeting these people, hearing their words, soaking up every
amazing minute that was a gift and a joy that I NEVER thought would happen to
me.

Friday, September 14, 2012

Hello all - I am doing much better and am looking forward to posting something new next week. My slave is a little under the weather but the Dr is taking good care of her, as am I when she lets me. I wrote this in 2010 I think....

For those that are going Enjoy EVO -REVO!!!!

So what happens
to the Master when the slave is sick? Well let’s see… it starts
early in the morning, when the magic socks do not appear and the
breakfast somehow stays mysteriously in the fridge. At one time the
pots and pans and odd sounding spices had made sense but now years
later~ the act of cooking has become foreign and dangerous. A soft and
well placed Masters whine for breakfast elicits a moan from the barely
conscious and somewhat drugged slave. she attempts to move out of bed,
only to snot on herself and fall backwards.

At
this point it is clear that the Master must attempt breakfast. Skipping
the idea of a hot breakfast and deciding on a lopsided sandwich instead
the now cold and still kind of hungry Master wanders aimlessly through
the house, looking for clothes. Strange, the clothes do not put
themselves out, they do not, jump up to greet a person; they lie still
unmoving, wrinkled, as if waiting for something. This unknown laundry
language is unknown to the Master~ so bare naked the Master dives in and
finds her clothes for the day.

Next
the Master knows that she must drive into town and find some soup and
soda for her sick and moaning slave~ if only to quell the moaning…

Slowly
the Master circles the car; she opens the door, and enters. Turing the
key the Master thinks that maybe she turned it on wrong; the music is
not on her favorite station. But restarting the car brings no change.
Halfway down the highway the Master realizes that the car doesn’t have a
GPS, and that she must somehow know where to go. This presents a
problem. The slave always knows where to go. The Master double checks
for a GPS... Nope.

Hummm, this new world is curiouser and curiouser…

Driving
along the Master decided to pull off the freeway and look for a store.
Three hours later she finds a fast food joint and it will have to do.
The chicken sandwich and hot tea will double as soup, and the French
fries are just as good as crackers.

Proudly
on her way home, The Master spots a gas station, she drops in and
picks up a bottle of 8$ cough medicine and a box of 10 tissues that can
also double as sandpaper. To show her slave that she loves her, the
Master also buys one of those fake flowers that double as perfume, the
kind with the little bear on top.

Coming
back to her castle the Master surveys her booty. Once inside the smell
of hot fresh chili overcomes her. The slave motivated by sheer terror
had cooked in the Masters absence. Although the Master does not mind
eating peanut butter and baloney sandwiches, this disturbs the slave
greatly and makes rest almost impossible.

The slave puts on a brave smile and takes her gifts gracefully between snotting and coughing, and going unconscious once more.

The
Master surveys’ her home, she struts from the living room to the
kitchen waiting, sensing that something is missing. She moves to the TV
room and puts in a show to watch.

Sitting
on the couch she reaches over to the air that was at one time the place
where the magic tea sat. She punches the button on the remote but
somehow the French subtitles stubbornly remain. The Master slumps into
the couch, good posture is not necessary if there is no one to look
adoringly at it…

The Master heard the slave snoring loudly in the background.

The
Master looks down at her feet propped on the coffee table. Of course,
she thinks… looking at her feet~ on one there is a slipper sock, on
the other is an oven mitt... No wonder the shoes felt tight…

Friday, September 7, 2012

Hello there evrfybody, not back 100% yet but close. Still pretty weak, but my slave is taking amazing care of me still.

Here is something I wrote in 2010 I think.......

I am seeing a
disturbing trend among people with a Master identity. It is something
that has bothered me for a very long time; I just couldn’t quite put my
finger on it. Then the other day I was out with my slave and we were
bouncing ideas back and forth off of each other ~ she does keep me on my toes~ and
I was recounting an experience that I had several years back. I was
listening to a Master speak, and they talked about how they were
emotionally unavailable. I remember thinking to myself: OK, I can see
how stating your limitation up front in the relationship is helpful,
that gives the submissive or slave a chance right there to decide
whether or not the relationship is for them.

This
person went on to say that they punish when they are angry. I remember
thinking: OK, not my thing, but it is always good to hear about how
other people do things. This person went on to talk about how they had
beaten their ex-slave (pay real close attention to the EX part) nearly
unconscious for sending out an e mail without the Masters permission.

At
this point I figured that I had heard enough, and I excused myself from
the discussion. Since that time I have heard countless echo’s from
Masters with the same types of sentiments.

It
is based in the idea that if a person is Master identified then they no
longer have to 1) emotionally challenge themselves to grow. 2) Deal
with their anger issues in a responsible and self diffusing manner and
3) need any type of self control when dealing with those that serve
under them.

When was it that
just because a person has a title (and more often then not a self
appointed one) that this title relieves them of the responsibilities
that we all have to ourselves and the ones that serve under us? In
my opinion a Master needs to not only take responsibility and
accountability for their own emotions but they also need to be able to
problem solve and show leadership through tense and emotionally charged
situations. Not indulge themselves in self serving and destructive
behavior just because they have someone that serves them.

Emotional
growth is extremely challenging, it will challenge how you feel, what
you think and how you move in the world. Often it is easier to give
ourselves excuses about why emotional growth doesn’t need to happen then
it is to push through the challenge, reevaluate ourselves and possibly change how we act and what we think.

Anger is a complex composite of emotion. For some anger is about being explosive, for
others it is about denial and for others it as about recognizing that
anger is a signal that there is an underlying issue that needs to be
addressed. There is however, a trick to the emotion of anger. For some,
the power that they feel over their lives is heightened when they feel
angry, and that power becomes addictive. If a person who
feels empowered when they are angry spikes that emotional charge by
physically punishing their submissive or slave when they are angry it
starts a cycle.

When the Master does it at first they feel euphoria
followed by a release of the anger, and a return to a relaxed and calm
sate. Over time the euphoria takes a greater and greater amount of
intensity to achieve~ so sometimes unknowingly, the
physical punishments become more and more extreme, because emotionally
the Master is still seeking the euphoria/release. The
anger/euphoria/release pattern can also become the Masters emotional
comfort zone, this leads to the Master becoming emotionally geared to
creating a pattern of behavior from the slave that will start the cycle.

Although I recognize
that entitlement happens in all types of relationships and relationship
titles, seeing how Master s blatantly use their title to allow
themselves to remain emotionally stunted, or disassociate themselves
from the responsibilities of life is both disturbing and disappointing.

How
can you push your slave if you cannot push yourself? How can you
require that a person give and give and give if you are incapable of it?
How can you expect someone self to hold their temper and hold their
tongue, if you are unable or unwilling to get your own self under
control? But most of all how can you consider yourself a leader when those that follow you become lost and weak in your presence?

About Me

I am a Master identified lesbian. My slave and I have been together in in a 24/7 dynamic for 14years. This shows how patient she really is... I have written a book called "M/s for the Rest of Us." It is available here: http://www.lulu.com/shop/k-e-enzweiler/ms-for-the-rest-of-us/paperback/product-22151343.html
I love discussing M/s in real life terms, not just the ones put out there by unrealistic, holier then thou, better then everyone people. We are real people living a real life, it involves mistakes, miscommunication, undone chores, and the experiment gone wrong. ie... playing with emergency candle wax. And neither I nor she will put out there that our flawed lives are any better then anyone else's!!!