Michael Holden's all ears

I was waiting to get served in a bakery when I realised that, as far as the two young women who worked there were concerned, I was completely invisible. Rather than seeking to establish my existence with some conspicuous throat clearing, I used my non-existent status to listen to what they had to say.

Woman 1 "He said, 'Why don't you ask your best friend why she was being horrible to me?' I said, 'Who are you talking about?' He says, 'You know who I'm talking about.' I said, 'I don't.' He said, 'Your best friend!' I said, 'I don't know who you mean!'"

Woman 2 "Who did he mean?"

Woman 1 "Well, I didn't even know why he was so upset in the first place. I mean, he was pissed up, but I thought, you know, he's really starting to lose it now."

Woman 2 (urgent) "Who did he mean?"

Woman 1 "Well, I said to him, 'I don't know what you're talking about.' He said, 'You know who I mean!'"

Woman 2 (exploding with curiosity now) "And?"

Woman 1 "Well..."

Woman 2 "WHAT?"

Woman 1 "Well, he was talking about you."

Woman 2 (instantly) "He's off his head!"

Woman 1 "He was so rude! He said, 'I'm taking all that stuff back.'"

Woman 2 "What had he bought you?"

Woman 1 "Three pairs of shoes - still in their boxes - and a bouncy chair."

The three of us assessed the meaning of these gifts in silence, or so I thought. I was struggling to figure out the provenance of such offerings when it was like they could hear my thoughts, I became visible and the conversation turned to bread rolls.