Rock of Ages Is Going to Be The Best Movie We’ve Ever Seen

No, it really is. Do you remember when I showed you the first trailer back in December? It was a glorious piece of cinematic magic. Tom Cruise was elegant and graceful yet raw and powerful. The film itself could win every single award out there – the Oscars and the Grammys – based on the trailer alone. It was that amazing.

But look! It’s a brand new trailer! One filled with just as much magic and intrigue! Perhaps even a little more, because Tom Cruise sings a Bon Jovi song in this one. Really, he does. He prances around on stage without a shirt, with his flowing, majestic mane of hair and that awesome tattoo, and he sings “Wanted Dead or Alive.” That happens, and it’s … well, it’s more than I ever could have imagined, I’ll say that much.

Are we even going to be able to handle this movie when it comes out in June?

I’m not even going to dignify that with an explanation, nor will I ask why you felt that was appropriate to say anywhere, let alone on a gossip thread. I just wish you good luck and continue to be the poster-child for the pro-choice movement.