Pies Globally

We asked, and you answered in your thousands. Before this survey was released, we here at piedayfriday.weebly.com were left helpless, obsessed with that eternal question: are we alone out there? And, more importantly, when we go on our year abroad, will we be left pie-less and destitute?

Now, everything is different. Questions have been asked, answers given, points debated. It is with great pride that we present the results of our survey. Some scientific, others almost religious in their fervour, we can’t help but feel that your responses showcase the importance of pie in our lives, and the dedication of those who choose to pie on a Friday.

In true Pie Day Friday form, many of the responses we received were unconventional, to say the least – but more on that later. First, let’s take a look at an overview of the responses:

Wow! What an optimistic crowd we are. A full 50% of participants (also known as a half, if you aren’t familiar with the jargon) are confident that pie can be found in a Parisian boulangerie, a Greek foúrnos or even a Kentish Greggs.

But don’t book your flights just yet. Our crack team of data analysts have uncovered a troubling secret: not everyone who participated in this census were confident in their answer:

Your eyes aren’t deceiving you, my friend: a full 4/16ths of respondents affirmed that they were UNsure of their answer. That’s 25%, or one quarter, or one fourth, or half of one half. I might go so far as to say it’s about 2/8ths.

If that weren’t hard enough to deal with, even more people (5/16ths or 31.25%, also known as about a third) preferred to keep their confidence under their hats, so to speak.

Of course, this throws everything into doubt. If we imagine that everyone who wasn’t sure was wrong, and everyone who kept everything close to their chests were ALSO wrong – well, over half of the respondents could have entered the wrong answer.

There was only one thing for it: the staff of piedayfriday.weebly.com were forced to take matters into their own hands. Crowd sourcing was clearly flawed: the only thing left to do was a sneaky Google.

“Help us, Google UK,” we cried as we typed, eyes misted with tears. But today, in our hour of need, Google UK spat in our face:

We were destitute. We were, if you will excuse my language, unhappy as heck and extremely worried about the state of pie in the cosmos.

We were reaching for a frozen Pieminister (RRP £21 for six pies), when suddenly it occurred to us: our best hope lay in the others.

As you might remember from the first pie chart, 3/16 people answered other to the question. That means that 18.75% of our loyal followers believed that the answer to this question was neither yes nor no – but rather something in between. At first, we here at piedayfriday.weebly.com overlooked this almost-fifth of respondents as wishy-washy nothing-knowers – yet now they were our salvation.

Below are the answers sent to us by the people we fondly refer to as the Pieological Philosophers. I am sure you’ll find them as enlightening as we have.

Thank you, Others.

WE asked,“Do pies exist globally?”

They answered,“other”

Only in that one pie stall in Vienna, where a short, rotund, slightly balding but still unmistakably ginger, lederhosen clad gentleman sells something akin to a pie, to provide some small form of comfort to those who cannot experience Pie Day Friday, for they have not been taught the ways of Pie

viva le pievolution!

PIES DO NOT JUST EXIST GLOBALLY. THEY EXIST INTO ALL CORNERS OF THE EVER-EXPANDING UNIVERSE, FROM THE BOTTOM OF THE DARKEST HOLE TO THE BRIGEST SUPERNOVA. A PIE IS NOT SIMPLY A MEAL THAT ONE HAS ON A FRIDAY, A TRANSIENT MOMENT THAT EXISTS AND FADES, ONLY TO RISE AGAIN THE FOLLOWING WEEK. OH NO. IT IS SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT. FOR YOU SEE, PIE IS A CONCEPT, AN IDEA, A BELIEF. A WAY OF LIFE. TO EAT A PIE IS A HUGE RESPONSIBILITY, FOR AFTER THAT MOMENT YOUR LIFE SHALL NEVER BE THE SAME, YOU WILL HAVE ACCEPTED THE PIE INTO YOUR HEART AND BELLY AND SOUL, AND YOU WILL NEVER SEE THE UNIVERSE IN THE SAME WAY EVER AGAIN.