Thursday, May 7, 2009

I Tend To Look Down the Road... Too Much!

I am reading Always Looking Up...The Adventures of an Incredible Optimist by Michael J. Fox and it is very good so far, I am about a third of the way into it.Apparently, there is a special tonight on TV about optimism featuring Michael J. Fox.

I know I am not an optimist...I am someone who perseveres... but I am not by nature an optimist.I do admire optimists especially those who clearly have adversity and yet retain their optimism.I am the kind of person who expects something to go wrong and I always seem to have contingency plans in place...for when it does occur. I have trouble not knowing what the future holds for me...but you can best believe I have imagined every scenario and what I would do!!

I am always exercising my faith...or should I say God is exercising my faith...because I am clearly not in control!My son and daughter-in-law and our grandchildren came to stay with us...and I wanted to plan a perfect outing!The cutest-boy-in-America was told about the carriage ride with the horse and he was so excited...and I was for him.We did have a wonderful time, however when he and my Hubby were getting off the carriage...my grandson fell backwards and hit his head on the road with a sickening thud that I keep hearing over and over in my head.It was heartbreaking...He cried and cried...he no longer wanted to pet the horse and I was so afraid he had a concussion!It was out of my control...I silently prayed and continued to pray every two hours as I tried to wake him while he slept that night.First...I am grateful to God that Carter is okay, and that his mother trusted me enough to let him sleep with me.But my silent vigil with Carter and God turned out to be important to my faith...I would gladly and willingly take any pain for my grandson but I do believe God uses adversity in our lives to draw us closer to him. I rarely handle adversity well...but I do learn about God's love for me!He loves me...imperfect and all!Thank you God for my Grandson's health and well being!

I´m so glad Carter is ok! That must have been so scary! And it shows that you go to the right source to get your strength and positive reinforcement! If we can´t be positive, God is there to help us through the hard times!

One of the things in AA that makes me laugh is how we "trudge the road to happy destiny." I don't htink you are a pessimist, I think you are a realist. and I like you the way you are. Glad the little guy is okay!