My marriage is boring. I guess I can man up and say it’s my fault, but there’s alot of stuff involved with that. Ultimately it is my fault. But I gotta ask the question, WHAT HAPPENED. And I’m not buying the same’ol, same’ol comment about that’s just the way it is. Nooooooo, and if it is then it is not supposed to be. Man, remember when we were younger….life was exciting, stupid stuff was fun and you really didn’t try to change your girl(boy) friend. Well, 15 years of marriage, kids and everything else will change that.

But I’m believing that it just doesn’t have to be like that. Don’t get me wrong. We all have to grow up, be responsible adults and yada, yada, yada. But does that mean the EXCITEMENT has to go away. Does sex have to be “plain ole sex”, does every comment have to be taken the wrong way (by either side) and blown out of porpotion, and does spontaneity go out the window. As much as responsible adults can be, I want to have fun, and laugh, and feel giddy inside. No, not ALL the time! But I can’t tell you the last time that happened. Yeah, we talk and even laugh from time to time, but there’s somethimg missing. Talks don’t seem to be with feeling, laughs are there but they’re not alive. We hug and kiss…but those hugs and kisses are like the kind you give someone at church, no intimacy or feeling with them. My wife doesn’t like to kiss so I just gotta accept that. She doesn’t like spit, saliva, wettness or whatever you want to call it on her lips. Sometimes I laugh at her to myself when she’s brushing her teeth. She doesn’t even like to toothpaste to drool down onto her lips so she actually spit it out like she’s she spitting tobacco or something. But I still hate trying to get a kiss. She keeps her lips all scrunched and puckered up like she’s kissing a child or something….man, I WANT TO KISS like kissing a girl for the first time, but that won’t happen.

I watched that new tv drama called Betrayal. Yes, they were wrong…they both committed adultery; but I gotta be honest, those writers were spot on with the script. And those actors played those parts too well. I felt every moment, delimah and decision that was made.

Anyway, I want to be alive again! And don’t get me wrong, I don’t want some 22 year old who just wants to @#$%&. I want my wife, the woman I married. I want to laugh with her, to hold her, kiss her and make love to her. I want her to want me…to hold me, to make love TO ME, and to see me as her Knight in shining armour.