Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Let's get this started!

Hi, Welcome to my blog!

A little about me before I get started. I am currently in graduate school for speech-language pathology. I am 28 years old and happily married with no children yet. Unfortunately, my husband currently lives in New York City, but I will join him as soon as I finish up school in May.

I grew up in a small town in the Deep South hunting, fishing, and water-skiing. My hobbies also include running and arts-n-crafts. I grew up in a very functional, dysfunctional family, if that makes sense :-) My parents care a lot about my sister and me, but they were completely clueless in how to provide the emotional support I needed at the time my rape occurred. Honestly though, I didn't really know what I needed either!

In 2002, which was my sophomore year of college, I transferred to a school where over 40 students had attended the same boarding school I had for high school. Among those kids was A.T., a blond haired preppy guy I had dated in high school and would be dating again by that December. I had no idea at the time how he would come to influence my life. How he would literally transform the world as I saw it. That he would impact my life so much so that in 2011 I would be starting this blog to help me make sense of the ways that his actions are still impacting my life. I have often wondered how different my life would be, how different I would feel inside, had I never looked twice at this poor excuse for a man.

I am ready to take control of my life again and start living life to the fullest. Free of my current stream of intrusive thoughts. I have been told that the best way to begin the healing process is by telling your story so here goes. I might jump around a bit; I don’t really have an exact plan starting out. Speaking openly about my assault and its aftermath is unfamiliar territory for me. I have pushed this out of mind for so long that revisiting these memories has been a little strange, uncomfortable, and down right impossible at times. I do know that I am more mature and in a better place in my life to process the last few years of my college experience than I was before.

Hi, thank you for your recommendation. I just joined an online forum on Friday called "After Silence" and have really found it really helpful over the past few days. I will also take a look at Pandora's Aquarium. I am sorry to hear that you are going through this mess, too. I wish you the best in your road to recovery. Thanks again.