Being an extremely attractive French woman, I’ve always had trouble managing my desirability with my male friends. I have lost all of them at some point. Partly because they wanted my body, partly because I could not help seducing them. Now that I’m engaged and that I made new male friends, I want to work out how to keep my friendships safe. I can’t possibly be romantically involved with every man I like. Friendship is not a cheap substitute for romance though. It can be much more stable and last longer than love. However much value it adds to your life, it is hard work to maintain a male/female friendship. You need to behave and to accept that some things will never be part of the relationship. In an effort to foster my friendships and my engagement, I came up with a guide of behaviour for friends.

Stuff you don’t do with your friends

Just the two of you going to a nude sauna. It might seem like a good idea on a cold winter’s evening, but once you’re there and things are dangling, your friendship is certainly going to change one way or another.

Taking a bath together. If you need someone to scrub your back, get a frikkin’ back scrubber.

Getting/giving a massage. Whatever back problems you may have, it’s inappropriate.Get a yoga membership instead.

Watching a movie late at night together lying on the same couch. Think about it.

Cuddles, kisses, sex. NO! NO! NO! What about sex friends? Yeah, sex friends… do you know anyone who ever kept a sex friend? Me neither. If you really value the friendship, get a sex-toy or download porn instead.

Stuff you can do with your friends:

Compliments: “you look good today” YES “Wow, you look hot and slutty in this dress!”NO

Travelling together? It is fun to travel with friends. Even more fun if you visit all the romantic sights together and get drunk in the evening. Then you share the same room to save money. You’re just friends, right? WRONG. Keep the fun part, sleep in different beds, even different rooms, and behave. Then it is possible.

Small gestures of affection: hugs; kisses on the cheek to say hello and goodbye like we do in Europe; slapping; pushing; throwing stuff at each other.

Sharing food and drinks. A piece of cake may taste better when shared with someone you like. Food can become very sensual though so here is a visual guide to help you picture the limits:

OKAY

NO!

NO! And gross! Don’t ever do this with your friends. Even if you are drunk and with people you will never see again. Even if you are alone in a cave and no one has a camera.

OKAY

WRONG. According to my male friend Andrew, playing with a straw = playing with a penis.