To have found FIL very rude and wanted him out of my house?

Bit of a backstory. FIL lives alone, mil passed 10 years ago and he has no other living family on his side. At christmas my DM invited him to come to hers with us so he could be with family, he agreed.Christmas morning he text to say he doesn't want to come any more as felt a bit ill - fair enough, DM and dp were upset but life goes on.. DM had got him a book for christmas and we gave it to him Boxing Day along with our presents for him ( he had not got me or the children presents apart from dp)

He didn't even text my mum to say thank you and just took the presents. Anyway yesterday he was here and DM arrived to drop some stuff off, first time she'd seen him in a long time and they hadn't spoken (he didn't even apologise for not turning up on Xmas) she came in and asked if he liked the book she got him and he replied 'oh I gave up after a couple of pages, it was very chiche and probably for people slightly less intelligent than me'

DM stood there slightly shocked and left, AIBU to think he's very rude? Or was I over reacting? I had enough of his attitude, he can be rude to me and dp but to my DM I felt very defensive and after she left i told dp to get him out of the house. I just think he was implying DM was thick and his tone was very patronising.

I've known him 2 years and always found him very rude, so it's not a new thing for me atleast. DP doesn't see it and worships the ground he walks on so I doubt he would notice any difference.. But will keep a closer eye to see!

Ah, bless him he sounds like he is losing it a bit or maybe he could be like this as it can happen to older people without dementia.He is your dps Dad at the end of the day and whilst he is rude there isn't a lot you can do about it other than grit your teeth. Talk to your mum about his rudeness and tell her you are happy your dp didn't turn out to be rude. I know its hard, my own father was a bit like this in later life, we grinned and got on with it. I'm so glad we did too as he is no longer with us

Please don't call him a wanker, there may be a reasonable explanation for his rude behaviour. Some people are just like this because they haven't learned to be any different, and it takes all sorts.

OP, he sounds very hard work and you are lovely to put up with this every week. Could you not alternate every other week visit, maybe tell him you have something on, permanently every other week. Then at least you get some time away from him.

When I've pulled dp up on it he just says 'well he's really clever so he knows what's best' and 'oh dad's just like that' I think he's grown up being told to 'worship his dad' and still lived with him till I met him!

My late FIL was 'blunt' aka a rude fucker. He told my Mum her house was too small and the decorative plates she had on the wall were 'cheap' (Mum was very attached to them for sentimental reasons, and couldn't give a fig about their financial worth) He told MIL's family he was 'Marrying beneath himself..! I dealt with it by thinking what a rude, insignificant little man he was who didn't feel good about himself unless he was belittling others, therefore bigging himself up. I did ask him a couple of times if he meant to sound so rude, it took 15 years for me to work up to that though!

You don't need to be ancient to have dementia. There are plenty of types that are early onset. Being only 59 is no protection from dementia. And if his behaviour is getting worse, it could be dementia. Or Parkinson's. Or Huntingdon's. But chances are he's just a total arse that had never been told.