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Reality Check: New York City on Screen vs. My Life in the City

“If I can make it there, I’ll make it anywhere…” Everybody knows these famous lines about one of the most famous cities. I’m probably one of the few people though who moved to New York without having them on my mind. I didn’t care much about ‘making it’, I just thought it sounded like a fun place and wouldn’t it be cool to go to college there?! Still I arrived probably just as starry eyed and naive as any New York movie heroine only to get a somewhat rude awakening. My expectations based on what I had ‘seen’ and New York reality differed quite a bit…

Sex and The City

No series taught us more about dating in New York City than Sex and The City. Or so I thought. I was still on the other side of the big 30 then and felt quite safe. Safe enough not to wonder too much how unromantic the people of this very romantic city could really be. I only once knew someone who knew a friend of a friend who fell in love with a stranger at an ATM. I like to think they got married and lived happily ever after. The reality is probably that they dated non-exclusively for a couple of months before realizing that chance encounters at a bank are not enough reason to make a relationship work. Reality was usually a lot more grim and included dinner and a movie only when you were very lucky. There was neither as much sex nor many sexy furniture builders and a friend recently told me that even Big has to take the subway these days and was seen on the N train.

Coyote Ugly

I am a bit embarrassed to admit that I am a big fan of Coyote Ugly, the ultimate small-town-girl-makes-it-in-the-big-city movie. However, I was lucky enough to have my dad’s emergency credit card and so I didn’t have to hide my last dollars in the freezer, dance on a bar or eat plain cornflakes at the end of the month. Then again, while my flat looked decent enough, it was a shoebox compared to Violet’s. Nobody I know in New York can afford a flat like this on their own in Manhattan.

Friends

On the note of New York realties – my other favorite New York show, Friends, showed us how it was done in the city: find yourself a job at a coffee shop and use your salary to pay rent at your friend’s West Village loft. Just kidding! No, the reality was that we had to huddle on my roommate’s twin bed and her windowsill to watch the latest episode on a TV that was mounted on the wall like in a hospital room for a lack of storage space. But still, we didn’t care, the flat was ours, came with a New York City postal code and really – who wants purple walls??

Gossip Girl

I never understood how these kids could get into bars and drink as they did; I got ID’ed by bouncers who were obviously younger than me all the time. When I started in the fashion industry I worked on a charity fashion show sponsored by a big designer for his daughter’s fancy school. She and her classmates were modeling the sponsored dresses and there was a lot of drama involved. It usually started with who could wear what and ended with tears and cocaine in the bathroom. Let’s just say that these girls made Gossip Girl look like a country bumpkin. Realizing the stereotypical Upper East Side and its inhabitants were that accurately depicted was a sad New York moment.

Breakfast at Tiffany’s

The ultimate classic with everything a girl could possibly want: a flat in New York City, a handsome neighbor, and diamonds. But I wasn’t fooled. I already knew from Sex and The City that there was no breakfast at Tiffany’s to be had anymore. Quite alright for me because I had discovered the concept of brunch and had made friends to have said brunch with. Once I started working fashion, I also realized that Tiffany’s is overrated. If you want diamonds I recommend Harry Winston across the street.

How I Met Your Mother

For them, it was McLaren’s for us it was Bua in the East Village. That bar was basically our extended living room. When we hung out there and the line for the bathroom got too long, we would simply go upstairs. It was the place for a quick drink, a first convenient date, and my flatmate even got proposed here after too many Irish car bombs. While I don’t call it a romantic New York style love story per se, they are still happily married with two kids. So yes to the local watering hole where everybody knew our names!

The Devil Wears Prada

I have written a whole post already of my life being very much like The Devil Wears Prada when I worked as a fashion assistant. And yes, sometimes a movie will mirror life perfectly minus designer clothes for the minions. But I did take a ton of awesome memories and fun stories to tell away and also valuable connections that became the stepping stone of my career. So for better or worse, the movie paints a pretty accurate picture of what it means to have a job in New York a million girls would kill for.

Girls

And then there was Girls. I must admit this show isn’t my generation anymore and while it probably comes closest to real life in New York for twentysomethings, I’m still hoping that I was never that neurotic. I might be wrong, but one can hope…

In the end, expectations and reality didn’t matter. It didn’t matter that every flat we lived in had mice and that we could barely afford an exterminator. It didn’t matter that dating here was a game with such intricate rules most of us didn’t master it in years. In the end, it didn’t matter, because we could call one of the greatest city in the world home.

Up until today when I close my eyes I can see my twenty-year-old self, a newly minted New Yorker, standing at the corner of Lafayette & Broadway. It was pouring rain and I had no money and only a drenched doggy bag of fruit salad. But I was never happier than in this moment: I had truly arrived here. Something New York does to you – it makes you feel home – and sometimes it only takes a New York minute and some rain.

Author:

Annika

Annika left her small hometown in Germany with a big bang to study in New York. There she fell in love – with the city, it’s people and the steamy summers. A job in fashion taught her the art of packing and how not to look out of place in a 5-star resort. When it was time for a change of scenery, she decided to move to Cape Town and learn how to plant trees and teach Bikram yoga. Now she can be found back in Hamburg or on her way to find the best souvenirs from around the world for her blog Midnight Blue Elephant.
Reach her at annika@travelettes.net

15 Comments

I spent a whole summer in New York back in 2012. I would lie if I say that I wasn't expecting it to be like I saw it on my two favorite shows - Sex and the city and Friends. Of course I didn't expect to live in Carrie's apartment in Upper East Side, but at least something as close to where Joey Tribbiani lived would be nice. But no, the reality was much different. I ended up in the shared room in Woodside, Queens because that was the only thing I could afford (which was btw. the same price that I'm paying for my whole spacious apartment in the city center in Split, Croatia). But I did enjoy New York, in my own way and felt inspired to be living in such a vibrant city.

This post is amazing. Thanks for sharing. To visit New York is one of my biggest dreams ever. At the moment, I'm still saving, so I can spend a week or three in this beautiful city. Because I live in the Netherlands and need to buy a ticket, sleep in a hotel for three weeks + need to spend money for food and all the other cool stuff, it takes a little time. But one day I will be there. On my blog, I write about New York every tuesday. I'm making my own New York City Bucketlist. And every time I'm writing the articles, I get super excited. Hopefully my dream will come true in 2016.

Love this post! It's a dream of mine to go to New York one day, I have this image of myself walking through Central Park with a drink from Starbucks as I head to work as a designer. A girl can dream! x

This is such a fun post! And all true, I bet! I love the Devil Wears Prada, and all the other movies and shows depicted here! :) I've only been to New York twice, but I'm sure it's nothing like on TV :)

Ha, I had the same feeling about Gossip Girls, which used to be one of my favorite shows/books as a teenager. I was born in NY, raised in CT, then moved back to NY after college, but am in Amsterdam now! I like seeing how people outside of NYC or movies/tv shows see New York. It's so glamorized! Rightfully so :) Although I live in Amsterdam, New York will always be my home.

I love this post. I'm a screenwriter and three of my top five films are set in New York -- Hannah & Her Sisters, When Harry Met Sally, and Annie Hall. I fall in love with the city every time I see one of these films, and they make me nostalgic to visit even though I know real life isn't quite the same. There's just something inexplicably romantic about love in New York in the movies.

What a great post this was! It is nice to hear 'real life vs. fantasy' - kind of stories from brave people like you who have the guts to move away from the safe & convenient. Myself I did the same three years back - I had four (!) massive suitcases with me as I entered London,UK, and that was not even my destination, had to switch tubes twice in order to find the right train to my soon-to-be new hometown in the northwest. I could relate fully to what you wrote about standing with that fruit salad in the pouring rain in your destination - I stood with the luggage and a packet of crisps in the dark trying to figure out where to head next once in my destination - but hell, I was happy to have made it so far :)

All the best in the future, I'm happy to have found your blog. My dream is still of course to visit NYC, ideally for 3-4 weeks and during Fashion Week :)

This is so true! It was so appealing on screen. It's how I got to know New York. Now I live here and I'm 2 years in and it's not a fairy tail. It's a lot of hard work, tears and sweat. If you don't hustle or persever, forget it! Is it worth it, yes in a way. It makes you a stronger person. It has it's good sides too but for me it's not a long term place to live.

Oh New York City. I consider myself a part-time New Yorker at the moment, as I travel back and forth between NYC and Austria, and I'm deeply in love with this crazy city (well, and my better half lives there too, which for sure helps). When I was there the first time, I did an internship and the room I lived in had no daylight and just about fit a queen sized bed and a dresser. I'm not going to lie when I say that I tried to spend as much time as I could outside or at some else's apartment ;) Still, whenever I'm in NYC I feel like I have truly arrived, I'm truly home. <3

haha This is so incredibly accurate. I think the show BROADCITY is a closer reality to what it is to live in NY. Borke, with a tiny apartment, and long waits for brunch. Ironically, I have been to NYC many times and was never excited about NY until Broadcity.

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