Albert Ellis: Accepting Men as They Are

In Albert Ellis’s, The Intelligent Woman’s Guide to Mating and Dating (1979), he states it is a fact that most males are more interested in sex from love, that they love after being sexually satisfied rather than before going to bed, as females often do. He believes women should accept men as they are: sexually demanding, less devoted to the children, less warm and romantic. Ellis states it is the natural act of a man to be this way, as these traits make up a man. He states it would be pointless to fight him for being the way he is and should just accept it. While doing so, Ellis is on the side of the women’s, as he is writing this book towards females to help them in mating and dating. I, however, do not believe in his views from this excerpt. Men are in fact capable of being changed by women. Men are not always more sexually demanding from women. Men are not only interested in one thing –sex.

Albert Ellis states it may be pointless for a woman to try to change a man as it may only end up changed slightly. I would have to disagree with his statements as there are numerous examples of men changed by women. For example, a homeless man has lost everything including the love of his life, his wife. When asked in an interview, the man stated he was never romantic, and never as loving. However after losing her, he realized he was foolish and would do anything to have her in his life again including buying roses, cooking dinner, what ever it may be as long as his wife could still be here. A man’s story like this can even prosper and change another man’s views as he wouldn’t want to lose his wife, the single most important thing of his life. There are also many men who have witnessed first hand a failed relationship, whether there was no more spark, or where the man stopped trying. The woman leaves, and the men regret it. Thus, many ways a man can change by his loved one.

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