HELP HIM…please

Wow, well ready or not, August is here, perhaps like me, it definitely came too soon. In just a few weeks, our house will go from four to two people. Too soon, my husband and I will be empty-nesters. Our house will go from kids running up and downs the stairs; no more constantly driving them somewhere or picking them up from the mall. There will be no more, “mom, I can’t find this or that”, when it is staring at them in the face, because of course, it’s not at their fingertips. My favorite cereal will last a little longer because someone isn’t sharing it with me. There will only be me vying for space at my own vanity table; my favorite perfumes will last longer (happy dance). I won’t have to go to their rooms to find my belongings. I won’t have to remind anyone of their conveniently forgotten chores. I will no longer be someone’s morning alarm. The house will be quiet for the first time in over twenty years. Because we homeschooled, there were always kids in the house, at all times, everyday, even on weekends. No more 30 minute showers and always trying to be on time and usually failing. Well, I can’t really blame them for that; we’ll just blame the Caribbean in me. Can you see the tears? In spite of it all, I’ll miss my girls. I’ll miss their smiles and laughter, their jokes (even though some were not at all funny). From four to two; it has not been two for quite a long time. What will we do? (Huh! We just rhymed! That was unintentional.) Do we even remember some of the activities we enjoyed before kids came along?

We enjoyed playing games together, such as Scrabble. Although he may remember I was a sore loser; but just maybe, I’ll do better)

We enjoyed long (very leisurely) nature walks or cycling. Cycling is new because I just learnt last year. (Yeah me!)

We enjoyed going out for dinner; just the two of us. We can even try out new restaurants! Dinner for two is so much less costly, isn’t it?

Spontaneous weekend vacations for two sounds very exciting.

We also enjoyed long drives and exploring other communities was always one of my favorite activities.

What are a few activities, you enjoy as a couple? I am desperately in need of a few suggestions. There is a small chance that I may become a bit clingy with my husband. I do also have the tendency to hear myself speak. With no one else around to hear me; my husband may run to hills after the second week. You will be doing him a favor, by offering a few more suggestions… HELP him, please!

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I love the Lord Jesus Christ, my Savior. I love my husband (Benny) of almost 24 years, yes, he is still the love of my life, I love our two blessings from the Lord (Cleo and Anna). We are the parents of two beautiful girls that we home schooled through high school. I love fashion shhhhh

I so remember the day this happened to me and my husband! He was still working and I was home. My advice, explore everything, but don’t overcommit to anything. Find your passion slowly and savor each adventure. My husband and I discovered we liked to travel, including and especially driving vacations!

Brenda!! God Is Good!! All The Time!! And I do know you both know this. I do believe Brenda that you both will come up with something small are large. Enjoy!! and keep Rejoicing Everyday!! \0/\0/ ((Hugs)) 🙂

Thank you for your positive post on a topic that, frankly, makes me feel somewhat wobbly just now. I want to enjoy the next season, but am already missing my boys three weeks before they even leave! Thanks for the encouragement (and from everyone else who has commented too). Blessings.

Enjoy every minute of every day left with them. The time simply flies by and too soon, they’re off. It’s the quietness at time that seem to linger, but I just speak out loud to the Lord, and that’s seems to help and hasten the time

My husband and I love to play games together. It’s also good to pursue a hobby or project that neither of you have experience with like learning anew language or take a cooking or writing class. I recently read an article about how to readjust to an empty nest. Here’s a link: https://www.jw.org/finder?wtlocale=E&docid=102017128&srcid=share

Glad to find your blog. One thing you might consider is mentoring younger couples. You probably have a lot of wisdom to share about marriage and family and homeschooling. For fun, you can’t beat hiking! Maybe pick a trail, like the Colorado Trail and prepare and then hike it for a couple of weeks. I’d love to do that ! My two youngest are 13 and 15 so I’m not quite finished. God Bless!

We take lots of weekend trips to visit the children where they live now. We love to cook dinner together most nights; and enjoy not needing to rush to get several mouths fed or rush to go to some activity or other. Most of our activities are just ‘chilling things’ as we spent too long working way too hard and running here and there: Sunbathing together while reading books. My husband wanted a pair of rocking chairs for the porch after the kids left home. We spend a lot of time rocking outdoors now. Neck massages in the living room. Date nights. Walks and bike rides. We also joined a new Bible study together, etc. it was hard to find one of those for couples; instead of for all male/female.

The not rushing out constantly sounds so perfect right now. Truthfully with-all the running around we’ve been doing to get the girls ready for college, I’m ready for quiet and sitting for at list a month! 😂😂😂 thanks for the suggestions

Enjoy your empty nest time. We did not get much of one. Grandkids came in quickly and our time is filled again helping our children with them. My youngest daughter is still at home too. She has three years til she goes to college, but we will be busy with the grands then too. Thanks for linking up with us at the #LMMLinkup this week.

Sorry it took me so long to respond. Our girls are leaving for college in a few days and our house feels like a mad house 😅 just one more week, I keep telling myself. I think my biggest fear (perhaps apprehension, is a better word) is the quiet. At times, I feel that’s exactly what the Lord wants of me. I don’t know if I know how to do quiet. Hopefully I’ll get through this time successfully. Thanks for commenting and thanks for the linkup opportunity

I have to commend your positive attitude! Just reading your post made me cry. Our eldest daughter moved out in January, our eldest boy is on his way out soon. We have two sophomores and a 7th grader. The thought of our home being empty makes my heart sink. I know it’s the way of life and when the time comes we will find joy!

Your husband is looking at you with such love that I think you will both enjoy your time together! I dreaded empty nesting and it was for naught! We love it and adjusted very quickly! We love to cook together, play with the dogs, go on walks or simply take a nap! Life is indeed good!

It’s an adjustment but once you do … you’ll love it! As I found different ways to spend my time, places to volunteer, and friends with whom I could reconnect – I loved it! The best part is just taking it one day at a time!

I really appreciated this blog post. Soon my daughter is leaving home and some Depression has sinked in. I dealt and grieved when my son left home for the Air Force. Now my youngest is leaving and I wonder, what am I suppose to do now. Life is definitely going to change. I hope the Lord gives me something to do. I definitely need a new hobby or job.

The funny thing is, after they’ve gone, I had to figure out who I was. Looking forward to moving to the next stage of parenthood is one thing, but when it happens, it can be strangely unsettling. You’re no longer ‘mommy’ so who are you? And thus, a new search begins.

My wife and I never had children. But when my younger brother moved out my dad started buying old lawn tractors and a couple of antique cars to tinker with. He custom made a 6 wheel lawn tractor from leftover parts and put it to work clearing the driveway in the winter.

We like camping! Maybe you can catch up on reading, take up gardening, or redecorate the house together? I am saying “goodbye” to my second youngest soon…will still have one home (for a year) but I feel your mixed emotions at letting them go!

Redecorating is one of my favorite things to do, thanks for the remainder. It is definitely a mixture of emotions, on one hand I am excited about this new transition, but I will miss the chaos of the last

Having an empty nest is quite a change (we had four kids) but after a little time of adjustment we came to actually enjoy being just two again. Scrabble is one of our past times. We are very competitive and actually keep records of our scores going back to 2008. We love watching movies together with popcorn for me and chocolate for my husband. And we often just get in the car and set out for a day of driving through the country – taking new roads just to see where they go. We have found some great parks, restaurants and other “hidden” treasures that way. Since two is much cheaper than 6 (or 4), we have been able to enjoy restaurants and shows that we could not afford before – and vacations are cheaper with just two. It is different and sometimes I do miss those crazy days, but I also enjoy this new cycle of life. I pray you will too.

😊 thank you so much for these words of comfort. We are looking forward to spending more time with each other; just the two of us. Even before we had kids of our own, we were raising kids. This time will be good for us.

Aw Brenda! I don’t know first hand what’s that like as we’re in the opposite stage…from 2 to now 3 and slowly growing lol. But I know that transition was hard for my mom! But we like eating at new places, road trips, movies…maybe you can find a hobby you both enjoy! Puzzles, DIY projects…
Hugs! 💗

Brenda this is a tough season starting out but if you both are “all in” it will be the best time of your lives! Talk with your hubby soon, the two of you sit down and discuss your expectations and your hopes and dreams for the future, together. You said it, your lives have been invested in your kids and now you will have the opportunity to get to know one another again. You’ve both changed over the years and figuring out activities is great! The get-away weekends are priceless if you have pre-determined plans for them. We found traveling alone to be difficult at times, as we had different “perfect vacations” but through conversation and compromise, we’ve found an incredible place to rest together in our trinity with God. I pray God’s best for you two as you rediscover one another. ♥️

Thank you, thank you for sharing 😊😊 in my quest to know what’s next, pray that I am content with the quiet, in the wait. I am actually in some way, looking forward to this time, I do believe we will have fun more together.

Pray for him that he will be a stronger spiritual leader; pray together; read the Word together. Pray for your girls. Invite friends for dinner; invite new people at church to lunch at your house (the noise and lack of privacy of restaurants prevents significant conversation. Seek out a new hobby: planting flowers? reading books outloud to each other? going to the gym together? Be creative; ask his advice.

What an exciting time to enjoy old favorite activities and discover some new ones. My husband and I like leisurely road trips, exploring historical sites and junk or antique shops. More than anything, we just love being together!

Yes, spending time together, just the two of us, wow! I am looking forward to that; especially not having to speak in code language so that little ears don’t understand 😂😂😂 I might need a refresher course

My hubby and I enjoy long walks in nature and we do love to travel. Every special event (birthdays) we go somewhere beautiful. We just got back from Scotland for our anniversary. We also do staycations and explore our city like tourists.

ABOUT ME

Hi, my name is Brenda. It is such a pleasure having you here at Becoming His Tapestry. I am in the process of becoming; of allowing my Master to weave the various threads of my life into His Masterpiece. I am the wife of an amazing man and the mom of two very precious girls. I love the Lord! Yes, yes, I like fashion and makeup and shopping too. I want Proverbs 31:30 to be my identity.