I hope that none of you had wild expectations for AMC’s “Dead, White, and Blue” Talking Dead special, which was meant to preview season five of The Walking Dead. I thought we’d at least get a decent teaser out of the special, but ultimately, it was Scott Gimple, Aisha Tyler, and Chris Hardwick doing their best to kill an hour and keep folks around for Halt and Catch Fire (which was another terrible episode).

As for new footage? Well, since they only started filming the season five premiere last week, they didn’t have a lot with which to work. Almost all the surviving cast is inside a train car when season five opens, except for Beth, and to show any footage of her would be to spoil her whereabouts. Otherwise, the only cast members who haven’t made it to Cannibal Town are Carol, Tyreese, and Lil Ass Kicker, who are still in the woods, on the train tracks, dodging zombies. That’s exactly what the season five “tease” shows.

I’m still going with my theory of Season 5 opening 6-10 months after Season 4 to not only explain CORAL’s growth spurt (I expect that kid to be the same height as the adults by then, lol) but also the cannibals like to keep their food from moving around too much, so as to make the meat more tender.

I click and read this before I watch Halt and Catch Fire this morning. I guess I’m more prepared for, “This computer is gonna be so cool, you guys!…eventually…maybe…I dunno…remember Pushing Daisies? That was me!”

The description on my Uverse guide made the special sound like it was following Hardwick through one of his set visits and would contain a bunch of cool behind the scenes footage and whatnot. Glad to read it wasn’t that at all before I waste my time on it.