Wednesday, April 15, 2009

2 Years Later

Time heals all wounds they say. In this case, I’m left wondering (while cursing to the high heavens for making me deal with this unwanted drama) — how much time does it take??

When an immediate family member passes on, even when the relationship is strained, it hurts like nothing I’d wish on my worst enemy. I think the strained, complicated relationship I had with my father even made the pain, the fucking loss worse than what it would have been if we had been close.

It was 2 years ago, on a hospital bed, April 15, 2007, 1:08 AM, my dad was prounounced dead amidst nurses and the doctor rushing to his side. My mom and I standing there, watching, helpless.

I remember EVERYTHING. Making calls to the rest of the family. The sound of the machines. The sound of the flatline. The people. The place.

2 friggin’ years ago. In those 2 years I’ve bummed around, found work, left work, went back to work, found new friends, lost old ones… I’ve done so much. And yet, one thing stays the same:

The tears. The tears are still there. And the memories are crystal clear.