Weathered staff, muddy boots, broken time-piece, rugged coat, fiddle, pencil stub, yellowed pages, old photograph, parched wine-skin, coffee beans & dry flowers...scribblings of a wandering gypsy.
Yes, this is the place where I scribble all my thoughts in the form of poetry.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Sundays are always reserved for cleaning up my room, cupboard and drawers and rummaging through my drawers always brings up some memorabilia that touches a raw nerve somewhere . I love keeping notes, letters, old photographs, cards and other stuff (which might seem like junk to other people) but never fail to bring back old memories. Today, I came across this really old letter that I had written for a loved one after we had decided to part our ways. My handwriting seems so different in this letter and it seems even more ancient because it has been written with an ink pen. Some of the words have faded and the letter seems all frayed with creases because of the numerous times that I have unfolded, read and then re-folded the letter to keep it back inside the envelope. I'm posting certain parts of the letter here because I felt like sharing it...

Incidentally, the letter was never read by the person whom it was written for. She sent back the letter without reading it :)

Sweetheart,

It's rightly said that you don’t know what you have until its gone. It’s also rightly said that words are a poor medium of expression. But I’ll still try to pen down those things that I could never express and which were left unsaid. How I wish time had stood still! How I wish you had heard the unsaid! How I wish that life wasn't so unfair! How I wish we could hold hands and live our dream again!How I wish I could be there when you really needed me! How I wish I could say that ‘sorry’ when it really mattered! How I wish I could take back those harsh words that I had spoken! How I wish I could give you that hug during all those lonely times! How I wish I could listen to the music of the stars with you again! How I wish I could whisper those ‘magical words’ when you really wanted to hear them!How I wish I could show you that you are my only one! How I wish I knew then that love is not just about caring, but also about sharing! How I wish I could get you to stay back when you loved me! How I wish I hadn’t been so blind to your true feelings! How I wish I had said and done those little things that really matter! How I wish I could undo all those things that went wrong! How I wish I had told you how happy I was that you were mine! How I wish I could see that warmth in your eyes again! How I wish you knew you were always on my mind! How I really wish I had spoken my silence in words…

Anyway, I won’t drag this letter too much. I won’t make it more difficult for you by talking about old memories. This letter is just a confession. A confession of my regret and a confession of my undying love. You must be wondering why I’m not sitting beside you while you’re reading this letter and watching you read. It’s because I’ve realized that I’ve wronged you and what would be worse would be to force you to come back, so I’ve left my silence and absence with you wrapped in this envelope until you wish to come back to me. I can only hope that you always remember me, remember us and the special bond that we shared. And as years go by, our paths will get separated, we might drift apart completely and we might never meet again, but if you ever think of me, will you remember that I love you very much?

About Coffee Beans and Dry Flowers...

Coffee Beans and dry flowers,A spent candle and ashes in the fireplace; Coffee lying stale in a chipped mug,And a table cloth that was once white,Edged with frayed lace.A window pane that is cracked,Climbers lying uncared for on the sill,A raging storm beyond it,But here my world stands still.

A bulb in the corner, at times flickering,And a radio sometimes crackles...But registers nothing.

But somewhere amidst all of this, I wait...While penningmy thoughts on yellowed pages,Random scribblings of a wandering gypsy perhaps,Waiting for my vagrant soul to find a home,Waiting for my hand to be held and grasped.

Yes, this is the place where I scribble all my thoughts in the form of poetry.

About Me

Have you ever stopped to stare at roadside flowers? Run around on dewy grass on early spring mornings? Enjoyed the musty smell of frayed pages of old books? Smiled back at strangers? Ever felt like walking back home in the rain? Stopped whatever you were doing to listen to your favourite song on the radio? Ever strained your ears to hear silence? Become teary eyed during mushy scenes in movies? Ever called up long lost friends for no apparent reason? Wanted to believe in something that cannot be explained? Ever loved? Been loved? ever lain spread eagled on the terrace, counting the wishes amidst the phosphorescent sea of a million stars overhead, wondering whether yours was somewhere among those waves too?
See, I told you…you know me…