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We have a well-stocked pantry at my office. At any time I can choose between literally dozens of choices. Today I was trying to decide between junk food and maybe something a little bit healthier. I picked up two items that couldn’t be farther apart. Or so I thought.

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This week has been a challenge. Our upstairs air conditioner has been down for several months — the compressor is shot, and that’s an expensive repair or replacement. As in several thousand. On Sunday, the downstairs unit stopped cooling. We were worried that it would have a similar or equally expensive disability. I spent a few hours on Sunday in the heat playing amateur HVAC technician, and was pretty confident that it wasn’t the compressor. I thought it was either the contactor or one of the fuses in the outdoor disconnect. Monday a tech came out and confirmed my diagnosis. What a relief. Replacing a contactor is a hell of a lot cheaper than the other possibilities.

Then later in the week, the disposal became the focus of our efforts. It has had a minor leak for a while, I thought it was the drain pipes, and had tried a couple of times to adjust them. Finally the leak became much worse, and last night when I got home I started the diagnostic process on that. Turns out the leak wasn’t in the PVC drain pipe at all — the unit itself had developed a leak, I guess it rusted out over the years. I ordered a new unit today, replacing our 1/3 hp Kenmore with a 3/4hp Insinkerator Badger 900. Eve picked it up this afternoon, and I set out to perform the replacement when I got home. Didn’t take as long as I thought it would, and voila, no leaks. I do like it when stuff works.

I sometimes reminisce fondly about the good old days when I was renting an apartment and could just call the landlord anytime something went wrong.

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Technically more of a “negligent homicide” ballad than a murder ballad. First-person perspective from the Man in Black himself. The perils of playing with guns without the proper training, I suppose. “I drew a bead on him to practice my aim. My brother’s rifle went off in my hand.”