Monday, 28 May 2012

Sol Campbell is trying to scare you

If you go down to the woods today you're sure of a big surprise, but if you go to Euro 2012 that surprise might be A BODYBAG!!!! DUN DUN DUUUUUUUNNNNNNNN

Sol Campbell likes to be in the news now he's retired and so that's why he's started taking to Panorama about things that scare him like ghosts, the economy and now racism. According to Sol it was wrong to award the tournament to those dirty racists in Poland and Ukraine and you need to stay at home in order to survive:

stay home, watch it on TV... don't even risk it

You hear that? Not you, whitey, but you should listen to Sol. He's trying to solve racism all on his own and he needs your support so he can "get rid of those damn Polish from my street". I'm glad you can't be racist to white people because that would make things really weird and I'd have to pretend to like absolutely everyone which would just be exhausting. Online UK bookmakers odds of you returning from Euro 2012 alive have been slashed dramatically, which is weird because I didn't know they did that. It doesn't seem like you'd really benefit in any way if you died. Crafty.