The only thing worse than being stuck in an elevator would be being stuck in an elevator that was on fire.

Three hours later, Ashley decided that stowing away in a little tiny car trunk packed full of musical instruments was not, in fact, a good idea. Also, that guitar cases were some kind of heavenly blessing. The car was still moving. Still. After three hours.

Ashley's fist? Meet every solid object you can hit. That is to say Ashley started beating stuff, hoping to God that someone in the car would hear the noise and stop to find out what was going on.

***BAM. BAM. BAM.

"See? There it is again. I think there's something in the trunk."

"There's nothing in the trunk, Dorian."

"There is! There has to be."

BAM. BAM. BAM.

"See?"

"It's nothing."

"Either there's something in the trunk or bad things are happening to the instruments."

SCREEECH!

The car pulled to a sudden stop, as the driver had four people pulling on his hair. Griffin sighed.

"Okay. I'm going to drive over to that rest area and we'll see what's going on in the trunk, okay?"

There was a general agreement with this and they drove on.

***

Ashley's ears perked, a key went into the lock, someone opened the trunk door... Light! Air!

"You!" He said, pointing, "You tried to get me to take you with us in the bathroom. When I said no, I did not mean 'sure just hop in the trunk', I meant stay where you were!"

He continued on this vein for a while, Ashley blatently ignoring him. By the time he had run out of steam the band and the Producer/Manager team had gotten their wits back. Ashley hopped out of the trunk and started to stretch. Lexus stopped his ranting, and just stood, trying ot catch his breath, Ginger went over to him and rubbed his back, Julian, did notabley, not glare. Ashley smiled.

"Hi! My name is Ashley. I hear that you guys need a singer. I am a singer for you." Ashley curtsied slightly. The band looked skeptical, Dorian, however, looked thrilled.

"A singer!" He cried, clasping his hands together and looking very much like a high school girl from an anime. "You guys totally need a singer! And she's totally fit for the part!"

"How do you know that?" Griffin grumbled, but he was drowned out by:

"Who are you calling a SHE?"

Everyone shut up. And looked at Ashely. From who the last comment had come.

"Sorry, but I am not a she. I am a he. I am a he and my name is Ashley."

"And you're wearing a skirt." Julian said, because hadn't said anything and was feeling left out.

"Yeah, so? It's a skirt. It covers my genitals and keeps me from getting arrested for indecent exposure. I don't see what the big deal is."

"You look like a girl!" This was also from Julian. Lexus's gender-perception had been fucked with too much today, and so he was being quiet. Although he rather thoughts he had a couples words to say to the Crazy Gas Station Lady. Starting and ending with Are You A Man. Although he didn't really want an aswer. At all.

"Why is that such a big deal? I look like a girl, but I'm not a girl. It doesn't matter. What I'm saying is, You guys need a singer. I am a singer. Do you want me as your singer?"

There was a moment of silence. Julian looked like he was grasping for words, and finally, finally, Whisper started talking.

"He's got a point. We need a singer. He says he can sing. So why don't we... listen to him sing?"

Whisper nudged him lightly with her shoulder, "No problem, welcome to the Fishy Umbrellas."

TBC!!

***

Also, I riped off a relevent meme from bethosChoose twelve of your original characters in any particular order (NO PEEKING AT THE QUESTIONS AT THIS STAGE!). Then, answer the questions that follow.1. Julian2. Lexus3. Ginger4. Whisper5. Ashley6. K7. Dorian8. Girffin9. The Angel10. God11. Luci12. Lily

01) Who would make a better college professor, 6 (K) or 11 (Luci)?I would have to go with Luci. Because.. well.. that's The Devil. Teaching shit.

02) Do you think 2 (Lexus) is hot? How hot?Hells yes. Lexus is all kinds of plaid pant wearing hotness. I love him.

03) 12 (Lily) sends 8 (Griffin) on a mission. What is it, and does it succeed?It would be some kind of unholy (ha. ha.) cross of Unspeakable Evil and Ridiculous Adorableness. And sort of.

04) What is or would be 9's (The Angel) favorite book?I don't know. Why don't you ask her?

05) Would it make more sense for 2 (Lexus) to swear fealty to 6 (K), or the other way around?The other way around. In a "I-promise-not-to-break-your-best-friends-heart-because-I-like-all-of-my-body-parts-where-they-are" kind of way.

06) For some reason, 5 (Ashley) is looking for a roommate. Should (s)he share a studio apartment with 9 (The Angel) or with 10 (God)?There would be not or. If he rooms with The Angel, God will be there to make fun of the wall paper and screw around with reality. If he rooms with God, The Angel will be there to tidy and make tea.

07) 2 (Lexus), 7 (Dorian) and 12 (Lily) have dinner together. Where do they go, and what do they discuss?The go for Greek. Lily will eat something involving eggplant. Lexus and Dorian will eat lots of animal flesh. Dorian will bitch about pretty much everything, Lily will be soft and understanding, Lexus will occassionally commentate on what Dorian is saying. Lexus would get Dorian very, very drunk and then plant him on Griffin's doorstep at 3am and run away cackling.

08) 3 (Ginger) challenges 10 (God) to a duel. What happens?....WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That would never, ever happen. Because Ginger just doesn't do that. But even if for any reason she did, God woould win because God is God.

09) If 1 (Julian) stole 8's (Griffin) most precious possession, how would she/he get it back?Um. I don't know what Griffin's most precious possession is (I am tempted to say Dorian.) but he would probably get it back in the most unsubtle way possible.

10) Suggest a title for a story in which 7 (Dorian) and 12 (Lily) both attain what they most desire.Um. Dorian really, really wants Griffin. Lily really, really wants... Luci to stop bitching about God. (it's kind of annoying) I would title this story... Chapter 23. Except that Lily will only get what she wants temporarily. Because the cosmos would crumble and shit of Luci stopped being Luci.

11) What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted 4 (Whisper) and 1 (Julian) to work together?Um. They do work together. Like all the time. It's their job.

12) If 7 (Dorian) visited you for the weekend, how would you get along?Yay! Dorian! Lots of grapefruit juice, pizza and movie watching. He would grumble and be short and it would be fantastic.

13) If you could command 3 (Ginger) to perform any one task or service for you, what would it be?Teach me how to play drums. Duh.

15) If 2 (Lexus) had to choose sides between 4 (Whisper) and 5 (Ashley), which would it be?Right now, Whisper. Because Lex doesn't know Ashley very well.

16) What might 10 (God) shout while charging into battle?TURTLE-TURTLE! And all would flee in despair.

17) If you chose a song to represent 8 (Griffin), which song would you choose?

18) 1(Julian), 6(K), and 12(Lily) are having dim sum at a Chinese restaurant. There is only one scallion pancake left, and they all reach for it at the same time. Who gets to eat it?Lily would eat it, because Julian and K would be too busy going "You eat it." "No, you eat it." "No, you eat it.".

19) What might be a good pick-up line for 2 (Lexus) to use on 10(God)?Um. Um. I got nothing.

20) What would 5 (Ashley) most likely be arrested for?Arson. Stowing away.

21) What is 6's (K) secret?His first name. No. You can't know it.

22) If 11 (Luci) and 9 (The Angel) were racing to a destination, who would get there first?It would be close. The would probably arrive at the same time and then Luci would poke The Angel with a peacock feather unil The Angel was a whimpering pile of feathers. Then God would appear and ask what was going on, the Storm Turtles would arrive and things would get kind of messy.

23) If you had to walk home through a bad neighborhood late at night, would you feel safer in the company of 7 (Dorian) or 8 (Griffin)? Griffin is taller. So Griffen.

24) 1 (Julian) and 9 (The Angel) reluctantly team up to save the world from the threat posed by 4's (Whisper) sinister secret organization. 11 (Luci) volunteers to help them, but it is later discovered that he/she is actually a spy for 4 (Whisper). Meanwhile, 4 (Whisper) has kidnapped 12 (Lily) in an attempt to force their surrender. Following the wise advice of 5 (Ashley), they seek out 3 (Ginger), who gives them what they need to complete their quest. What title would you give this fic?Um. Um. "Glowsticks Are Not to Be Mixed With Milk"