Friday, January 25, 2008

My Men in Black visit last night part 3

I went to the post office tonight, but there were a bunch of people training, and the regular woman I usually talk to wasn't there, so I'll have to ask her about my late night 'mailman' experience next time.

Since I wrote about the Triangle survey experience, I've been thinking about some other strange events I've had over the years. There's one that particularly bothers me, and it too, has the feel of a psych/social experiment. when this happened, I literally wondered if we were being filmed for our responses.

Probably about 9 or 10 years ago, my sister came over to my apartment on a saturady to take my son out to a little park by LDS hospital--it was just a couple blocks from my place. I stayed home, having to wait for maintenence guys to come over to fix god knows what at our crumbling, decayed, formerly-glamorous-a-century-ago, apartment. I'm sure it was the ceiling caving in, or fire shooting out of the floor, or some other common occurence.

Whatever it was, I was extremely stressed out over it, plus, I was in the final stages of a very complicated divorce. Aside from all that, I absolutely dreaded having to have workers come to my place. My old landlord would hire the cheapest people he could find. I could write a book about my experiences with these weirdos during the 10 years I lived in that building. The guys arrived--with a gigantic, spastic labrador retriever in tow. I was mortified. I cannot stand any form of unrestrained, random chaos in my environment--and I cannot stand labs. I know I probably made a few enemies with that statement, as labs are the pretty much Official State Dog of Utah. They're pretty much just giant cocker spaniels, and I never saw the point of those either.

Rather than argue or freak out about the dog, or have to watch the home invasion, I decided the best thing I could do was just remove myself from the situation. I intened to go to the library, but drove by the park and saw my sister and son, so I stopped. I sat with my sister on the bench, and started telling her about the dog, and how I was stressed, etc. So, my son is playing in the sand, and we're sitting on this bench facing each other talking, at a normal, 'conversational' distance apart, with ample space between us. We're obviously engrossed in some emotional stuff--I actually recall feeling like I was going to break into tears.

Any normal person approaching this scene would immediately recognize it as intimate and personal, and respect a proper distance and manner. And it's not like it was a 'scene' at all--the conversation was in an almost whisper, as my son, who was about 4, was present. And the park was empty, as usual.

But this woman approaches, carrying a small brown lunch bag. We're still deep in conversation, and as she gets closer, I'm thinking she is walking right toward us, and is going to ask us directions somewhere, or for the time, or something. No--she stands next to me, and says "can I sit here?" and without waiting for an answer, sits right down between my sister and I! We are just sitting there with our mouths agape in horror, and it's like a scene from Candid Camera; completely oblivious to us, she places the little paper bag on her lap, unfolds it, removes an apple, and starts munching it, looking around, surveying the park with a little grin, like she's totally alone.

It was so bizarre. I wish now I hadn't been in a funk, and just addressed the situation with her, to see what she'd have said--but we just kind of got up and my sister or I said something sarcastic but benign, and we separately departed. I kind of forgot about all this, so I'll have to ask my sister to recount the story to see what her take on it was.

The thing that really makes it weirder is--a couple years later, my son and I were walking home from the sweet branch aves library, and this same woman is on the sidewalk walking toward us. I recognized her even at a distance immediately--she is extremely thin (anorexia-thin) and has very big blonde hair. I'm sure it's a wig. She's actually kind of pretty--she looks just like this woman (can't remember her name) that used to be a game show fixture in the 70s. I'll search for her name and update (maybe with that description someone living in the aves will recognize her...)

Anyway, she's walking toward us, and I was hoping she wouldn't say anything or do anything weird. Well, no such luck. With every step she took, there was this *LOUD* noise--it's kind of hard to describe, but it was the sound of air being squeezed out of a bag. Actually, it's the sound of a bellows. But it was so loud, and even though it swooshed in time with every step she took, it did not seem to be originating with her feet at all, but surrounding her entire body. She didn't seem to be fitted with any kind of medical device, and I can't even imagine what kind of device would make such a noise anyway. It really seemed to be emitting from her entire body--like that's just the sound she makes when she walks.

Now the name of that game show celebrity is bugging me. She was known for her big boobs and blonde hair, and childlike, bubbly, wacky voice. I think her name was "sandy" something...I'm sure she was on crap like that atre johnson show and whatnot. I'll find it.