Archive for the ‘Strippers’ Category

Guy from Michigan: That stripper robbed me.Cop: How so?Guy from Michigan: She said if I gave her $150 she would jerk me off. I payed her the $150 and she didn’t do it. I want her arrested.Cop: Is everyone from Michigan an asshole or just you?

Drunk woman: I won’t sleep with people when I’m drunk. I’m not like that. I get drunk and I punch people in the face… I’m totally against infidelity. I can’t deal with that. I mean, I’ve been caught cheating lots of times, and it totally sucks.

–44th & 8th

Overheard by: Caitlin

Guy: So, he’s pissed off because he’s dating this fucking hot stripper — she’s, like, West of freaky — and he can’t tell anybody because they’re all friends with his fiancé and would tell her.

–Brooklyn-bound D train, Atlantic Ave stop

Overheard by: just visiting

Girl on cell: Sorry, I’m on my way to the airport. It was either go to Michigan or cheat on my boyfriend… No, I’m going to Michigan.

–125th & Broadway

Overheard by: Cat Darcy

German girl, after breaking kiss with another chick: Don’t worry about my husband too much…

–Frost St, Greenpoint

Overheard by: jayloo

Black man on cell: … So I put my hand between her legs… Nah, she wasn’t wearing any panties… She’s mad cool, but she’s married…

–Q46 bus

Overheard by: Izabela

Ghetto mama: … And I said to her, ‘No, I did not fuck yo’ husband. But I did let him eat my pussy!’

Law student, about class: Man, I just wish they didn’t give it a sexy title like ‘International Cartel Enforcement’ and then have it turn out to be about how many copies of a paper to file.Friend: Yeah, man. That’s like going into a strip club and finding out that it’s dudes stripping.

Girl #1: Remember at that party when that stripper picked up a dollar bill with her pussy lips?Girl #2: Ohhh, yeah — that wasn’t a stripper. That was a full-on whore.

–77th & 1st

Overheard by: mjg

Headline by: clink

Runners-Up:· “… and It Wasn’t a Dollar Bill. That Was a Full-on Penis” – Caro· “America DOES Have Talent” – Staci Lynn· “Because I Saw That Thing Give Change” – nicky c.· “But We Call Her Aunt Gladys” – Mark Paul· “I Was Just Shocked She Did It through Her Jeans.” – SAtCW· “Kind Of Like the Difference Between Maury Povich and Springer” – alana landa