Food for folks who have yet to figure it all out

Chili Lime Broccoli Steaks

And/or a North Carolina suburb with really well-behaved, respectful children. Either or.

Garrett & I were the kewl house on the block last night. Ya know, the kind that leave out the giant bowl full of name-brand candy with no passive aggressive sign saying to please only take two pieces.

We’re jazzed, man. Some little kid is going to have the Halloween of his life because he can take this bowl and dump it directly into his pillow sack and brag to all his friends that he got 89 mini Snickers from the kewl couple down the street. Garr and I go out and enjoy an evening with pals. We get home prepared to find an empty bowl, maybe catch a glimpse of a stray toddler dressed as a little cowboy, I don’t know. The bowl is UNTOUCHED. Not a single grubby mitt has been placed upon these Skittles. How can this be? We left the light on and everything! The front porch was decorated with pumpkins and mums! Mums, I tell you!!!! It’s an inviting porch! I was devastated. Questioning every decision. The Starburst were too wild, weren’t they??

Now we are stuck with all of this candy and cannot decide whether to pitch it or throw it at passing cars.