Perforation Perfection

submitted by: David Minkoff

Bernie decided he wanted to be an aeronautical engineer and build airplanes. He studied hard, went to the best schools, and finally got his degree. It didn't take long before he gained a reputation as the finest aeronautical engineer in all the land, so he decided to start his own company to build jets.

His company was such a hit that the President of Israel called Bernie into his office. "I want to commission your company to build an advanced Israeli jet fighter.

Needless to say, Bernie was tremendously excited at this prospect. The entire resources of his company went into building the most advanced jet fighter in history. Everything looked terrific on paper, but when they held the first test flight of the new jet, disaster struck. The wings couldn't take the strain--they broke clean off of the fuselage! (The test pilot parachuted to safety, thank God.)

Bernie was devastated; his company redesigned the jet fighter, but the same thing happened at the next test flight--the wings broke off. Very worried, Bernie went to his shul to pray, to ask God where he had gone wrong. The rabbi saw Bernie's sadness, and asked him what was wrong. Bernie decided to pour his heart out to the rabbi. After hearing the problem, the rabbi put his hand on Bernie's shoulder and told him, "Listen, I know how to solve your problem. All you have to do is drill a row of holes directly above and below where the wing meets the fuselage. If you do this, I absolutely guarantee the wings won't fall off."

Bernie smiled and thanked the rabbi for his advice...but the more he thought about it, the more he realized he had nothing to lose. So Bernie did exactly what the rabbi told him to do. On the next design of the jet fighter, they drilled a row of holes directly above and below where the wings met the fuselage. And it worked! The next test flight went perfectly!

Brimming with joy, Bernie went to tell the rabbi that his advice had worked. "Naturally," said the rabbi, "I never doubted it would." "But Rabbi, how did you know that drilling the holes would prevent the wings from falling off?"

"Bernie," the rabbi intoned, "I'm an old man. I've lived for many, many years and I've celebrated Passover many, many times. And in all those years, not once--NOT ONCE--has the matzah broken on the perforation!"