Love, Dating and Everything in Between.

Part II: Men and the 8 Dating Categories

This is a tough category for me to delve into because I have not had the experience of dating a bad boy since my freshman year of high school (Sorry, mom). Mr. Bad Boy doesn’t necessarily have an episode on The First 48 nor has he been seen on Maury doing backfilps when he found out little Tay’Qwanell wasn’t his. However, I will admit that maybe there is a little something about an uninhibited man with a little too much confidence. I’m not sure what that something is and I’ve never been compelled to find out. However, there are some women who are willing to test the waters with Mr. Bad Boy. Maybe it’s the chase or maybe it’s the excitement of the relationship. No matter the reasoning, when you choose to date a Mr. Bad Boy, know what you’re getting yourself into and don’t try to change him, especially since you were initially attracted to his unconventional ways.

6. Mr. Fantasy

Mr. Fantasy is the guy who you’ve been stalking on Facebook watching from afar. You’re extremely attracted to him and he seems to meet all of the major requirements on your list. Once you get his attention, you know there’s a good chance that he’ll fall for you. Before you know it, you two have been on a few dates and everything is going well until Mr. Fantasy isn’t as intriguing as you once thought he was. You never understood why he had to call his mom after every date. And what was up with that Wayne Brady shrine in his Living Room? The smoke clears and your Mr. Fantasy quickly turns into Mr. Are-You-Kidding-Me. It never fails; unrealistic expectations will always turn into failed realities.

My experience with Mr. Fantasy has always been a dupe in the end. When I come across a man who is aesthetically appealing and perfect on paper, I tend to get the fantasy confused with reality by envisioning this perfect specimen of a man. This ideal obviously sets me up for disappointment because no one is perfect, no matter how symmetrical their face and how awesome their resume is. Due to my past mistakes with Mr. Fantasy, I now realize that Mr. Fantasy is just that…a fantasy. And that Wayne Brady shrine? It’s not so bad, is it?

7. Mr. Platonic

How many of us have had a friend who confessed their love for us, but it wasn’t reciprocal? Welp, that’s Mr. Platonic. He’s the guy friend you’ve had forever. You tell him about your guy problems and come to him for advice and think nothing of it. He’s been there for you through your break-ups and make-ups. You had no idea he had feelings for you until he surprised you with embroidered matching his and her ankle socks. Being the great friend you are, you try to let Mr. Platonic down easily and reassure him that it won’t be awkward between the two of you. You actually believe it until you catch him spooning one of your old work uniforms. Needless to say, the friendship fizzles because it now embodies everything that is awkward.

9. Mr. Comfortable

Mr. Comfortable usually comes in the form of a long-term boyfriend. He’s the boyfriend you know you need to end things with, but you continue to stay in the relationship because it’s convenient and comfortable. It may be comfortable because you live together and, in your mind, it’s easier to stick it out because no one feels like looking for a new place. The relationship may be comfortable because he’s your first “real love” and you don’t feel like going through another long dating process with someone new. It may be comfortable because you’re approaching 30 and you want to be married with children, so you try to force a relationship that you know has run its course.

"Whatever the reason you’re deciding to stay in the emotionally draining relationship, you know deep down that it’s not a justifiable one. "

While dating Mr. Comfortable, I learned that it’s always best to leave a stagnant relationship sooner than later, no matter how “comfortable” I thought I was. Ironically, during the midst of the relationship with Mr. Comfortable that was the most uncomfortable I’ve ever been.

8. The One

I’ll let you know when it happens. I promise. But what would I write about? *shrug*

#DateWisely

All articles shared on http://www.muffiebradshaw.com are original pieces written by Muffie Bradshaw unless otherwise stated. So in other words, don’t re-blog without the props! =o)

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About Muffie Bradshaw, Dating Coach

Muffie Bradshaw is an award-winning relationship blogger and dating coach who has been seen on The Steve Harvey Show. Other works include online magazines including, but not limited to, singleblackmale.org and womensforum.com. With many relationship experiences, including breakups, dating successes and disasters, Muffie knows firsthand the mistakes women should avoid when going through the ups and downs of dating. Through her writing and coaching services, Muffie specializes in helping women reach a higher level of understanding regarding their dating lives through self-assuring decision making techniques, self-reflection and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) inspired methods.

A Mr here…. I think these opinions are very accurate EXCEPT Mr. Fantasy.. I agree that often times us dudes are douchey and have the uncanny ability to use good looks and charm to get the girl BUT UNFORTUNATELY all that does is make it harder for the REAL Mr. Fantasy. He’s out there and he’ll probably be too good to be true.. And he comes in the form of the man who recognizes that the woman who finds him worthy is golden and should be treated like platinum. Carry on ladies. Peace.

Thanks for reading and your feedback! I hear exactly what you’re saying, but I think I would put the guy who recognizes what he has and meets/ exceeds my expectations into The Prince or The One category (Part I). For me, my Mr. Fantasy always seemed to be an elusive ideal that skewed my reality. Ugh…but I’ve learned.

Melanie! I absolutely love this! It is perfect for you, of you, and a true genius, girl you are a natural always have been…maybe I can be a guest speaker one day to release my inner always wanted to be a Tv show host! Lol- you are awesome, love you girl!

It’s so much easier to just stay, than leave. But the truth is, it’s so much healthier (& happier) to just leave, than stay. It’s a choice we all end up making in the end – it’s just a matter of whether you realize it at 20, 30, 40 etc…