Thoughts, Ideas, and Concepts by Sandra Parks

Posts tagged ‘people’

There’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance. This is especially true given both entail a strong belief in one’s own abilities. When it comes to the results they provoke, however, that’s where the similarities end.

Confidence is inspiring; arrogance is a turn-off.

Confidence gets hired; arrogance is shown the door.

Building confidence takes work; arrogance is simple. In fact, it’s easy to come off as arrogant. Avoid these 10 behaviors so you don’t leave the impression of being a Class-A jerk people would rather avoid instead of the confident leader they want to follow.

1. Drop names out of context.

The name-dropper is a character who frequents many local Chamber of Commerce mixers. Name-droppers are a dime a dozen. Completely unsolicited, they will jabber endlessly about who they know, who they met and who they pal around with. As a journalist, I interview many great business leaders, one of whom was Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz. Bringing up his name in a presentation about leadership is appropriate; talking about Schultz with a barista at my local Starbucks is arrogant.

2. Avoid eye contact.

Arrogant people could care less about others. They’re only interested in themselves. The arrogant person will constantly be looking past you for someone else to talk to — someone they think will benefit them more than you. Confident leaders look you in the eye and make you feel as though you’re the most important person in the room.

3. Arrive consistently late to meetings … and don’t apologize.

Arrogant people think their time is more important than anybody else’s. Being late means nothing to them. Confident leaders are timely and quick to apologize when they’re off schedule.

4. Use condescending phrases and put-downs.

Some well-known business leaders have been known to put down others with phrases like “that’s stupid” or “you’re a bozo.” These particular leaders are supremely confident, of course, but they’ve crossed the line into arrogance. I worked for one famous broadcast executive who routinely demeaned his employees and colleagues. Before long there was a massive brain drain from his department. He was bright ; ambitious; and yes, confident. But his arrogance turned so many people off that he lost the loyalty of his team (and ultimately his position).

5. Strut or swagger when you walk into a room.

The best way to describe arrogant body language is “dominating.” Examples include pointing a finger at someone’s chest, hands on hips or waving someone off with a flick of the finger. Confidence is open and less intimidating.

6. Interrupt conversations … frequently.

Since arrogant people are only concerned about themselves, they’re not really listening to you. Not only are they always on the lookout for someone else to talk to, they interrupt the conversation frequently

7. Have an answer for everything..

Psychologists say that arrogance is a compensation for insecurities and weaknesses. An arrogant person will rarely say, “I don’t know the answer, but I’ll find out.” Confident people admit mistakes and learn something from those experiences.

10. Always one-up the other person.

The other day I was speaking to someone who has a reputation for arrogance, and I noticed a common theme in his conversation with me — he always tried to one-up everything I said. For example, when the conversation turned to a documentary that I had recently seen on sharks, this man said, “That’s nothing, I swim with sharks.” This trait in arrogant people is so common that the famous Dilbert cartoon strip has a recurring character named “Topper.” Confident people don’t feel the need to brag. Their accomplishments do it for them.

11. Blast competitors.

Arrogant people can’t see the strengths in their competitors, and if they do, they seek to minimize those competitors by bad-mouthing them. This simply makes the arrogant person look even smaller. I recently overheard a woman talking to a recruiter and saying vicious things about her former company as well as other companies in the industry. The recruiter listened patiently. When the woman left, I leaned over and asked the recruiter what he thought. He simply rolled his eyes. Take the high road so you don’t get the eye roll.

12. Blame someone else.

Arrogant people can’t ’fess up to their own mistakes. Watch America’s Top Model with Tyra Banks. The most arrogant young wannabes are the ones who blame others for not taking a good photograph — it’s either the fault of the photographer or the makeup artist. Needless to say, they don’t last long, even in an industry that has more than its share of divas.

Some famous business leaders are unquestionably arrogant — people about whom you may have heard or for whom you work. But the vast majority of inspiring leaders are confident, not arrogant. Be a leader people want to follow and not one people would rather avoid.

Disclosed for the 1st time, ‘damage points’ taken off for late payments

Borrowers already knew that late payments hurt their credit scores, but for the first time, they now know the extent of that damage.

Did you max out your credit card? Expect a credit score drop of 10 45 points. Declare bankruptcy? Your score will plummet by up to 240 points, and your odds of getting credit will nosedive with it. to

The “damage points” data, unveiled recently by FICO, are part of the most revealing glimpse into the firm’s once-secret — and still mysterious — credit scoring model. The new information discloses how many points borrowers’ scores will drop when they make the most-common mistakes.

‘Help People Understand’ Scores

“I hope this information will help people to better understand FICO scores and the value for them of avoiding credit missteps. It illustrates key points such as the higher your score, the farther it can fall if you stumble,” says FICO spokesman Craig Watts. “Getting and maintaining a good score isn’t complicated. We all just need to pay our bills on time, keep credit card balances low and take on new debt sparingly. ”

The greater transparency about FICO scores is important because American consumers’ ability to get credit rises and falls with the number. FICO, the company that pioneered credit scoring, assigns consumers a three-digit number from 300 to 850, depending on how well they handle credit. Other companies also offer scores, but FICO’s version is the most widely used by lenders in determining whether a consumer can borrow, and at what rate.

FICO’s credit score has been around for decades, but only within the past decade have consumers gradually gained access to theirs. Though the raw numbers can be purchased, how they’re figured remains a FICO secret, as closely guarded as the formula for Coca-Cola. Until Thursday, FICO revealed only broad categories of factors influencing the score, but not the number of points at stake for consumers who fail to pay as agreed. The “damage points” information, revealed in a report by personal finance writer Liz Pulliam Weston, will be made available through its myFICO.com Web site starting this weekend.

FICO’s information shows that bankruptcy does the most serious damage to a credit score (up to 240 points), followed by foreclosure (up to 160 points) while maxing out a credit card has the least numerical impact (as few as 10 points).

Those with good or excellent credit — so-called prime borrowers — put more points at risk with each mistake. For example, someone with an average credit score of 680 who pays a bill 30 days late will see a drop of 60 to 80 points. But for someone with an excellent credit score — 780 — that same delinquency can send a FICO score tumbling by 90 to 100 points.

The Cost in Dollars

In order to show just how badly a drop in your FICO score can hurt your wallet, we spoke with members of the home mortgage, auto and credit card lending industries. We presented hypothetical scenarios of a consumer who decided to apply for a $200,000, 30-year mortgage; a $20,000, five-year auto loan and a credit card. While all the industry insiders stressed that a FICO score isn’t the only factor in determining who gets credit and at what cost (other factors they cited include the borrower’s debt-to-income ratio and whether they have already established a relationship with the lender), they were able to provide an idea of what a borrower who had the following credit scores could expect.

For a Consumer Who Started With a FICO Score of 780:

Following a 30-day late payment, the consumer’s car loan rate would jump nearly 3 percent, costing the borrower $26 more each month.

Following a debt settlement, the consumer would pay as much as $109 more each month on a home mortgage.

For a Consumer Who Started With a FICO Score of 680:

Following a 30-day late payment, the consumer would pay $41 more each month for a car loan.

Following a 30-day late payment, the consumer would pay as much as $95 more each month on a home mortgage.

Following a debt settlement, the consumer would no longer qualify for a credit card.

Some Surprised By the Details

Consumer advocates say it’s important for borrowers to know what can damage their FICO scores. “If they know it in advance, they won’t go out and step in a pile of doo-doo. They won’t go out and do some of these things,” says Linda Sherry, director of national priorities with advocacy group Consumer Action. Even experts found some surprises in today’s news. “FICO imposes bigger hits than I would have thought for being maxed out or 30-days late just once, reinforcing my view that it is a cruder, blunter instrument than they like to claim. Nevertheless, it is a powerful, widely used crude blunt instrument,” says Ed Mierzwinski, consumer program director for the U.S. PIRG consumer advocacy group.

Of course, knowing the impact on a FICO score and actually avoiding these mistakes are two separate things: Amid rising unemployment and other daily financial struggles, paying bills and staying on-track financially becomes a much bigger challenge for many borrowers.

“Some of these things are out of their control,” Sherry says of consumers.

Additionally, as Weston points out, consumers with identical FICO scores can have different credit histories. That means the same slip-up — such as maxing out a credit card — could have different impacts on consumers who have the same FICO score. In the examples they provided, FICO assumed each borrower had several active major credit cards, a mortgage, car loan and student loans.

Sherry acknowledges the benefit of putting a number to a financial blunder. “I don’t think we necessarily knew the numbers that a bankruptcy could apply to a credit score,” Sherry says.

Helping You Make Better Decisions

While knowing the numbers may not keep you filing for bankruptcy if given no other choice, the information may help you make the best decision when faced with a bad situation.

FICO scores — and the access to credit they provide — are a valuable asset to consumers and supply a safety net when incomes are stretched. It’s an asset that needs to be protected, Sherry says, even if job loss or catastrophic illness makes bill paying problematic.

“In that period of time, paying down debt is the last thing on your mind. Paying the minimum payment may also be the last thing on your mind, but you’ll be doing yourself a big favor if you do,” Sherry says.

Networking is a powerful tool. You’d be amazed at your contact inventory if you use it properly! Did you realize that often times its not what you know but who you know? I know that you have heard that saying before but do you honestly realize the power within that one little statement?

I had a conversation with my Sister this morning, Soror Jahari Soward. The chick is sharp as heck. You can learn more about what it is that she does at http://www.npursuit.net. But at any rate I wanted to stress the importance of real networking. It’s not JUST about what you get from the people that you network with but its about the even exchange of good communication and resources that you give each other.

Your network can be worth value if you use and treat it properly. It can take you to places that you NEVER thought that you could go. It could put you in contact with people that you would have under normal circumstances not even thought about reaching out to. If you are business minded it is very vital that you learn how to network. Its imperative that you build your network on a firm and solid foundation. Have some direction. Know what it is that you want to do and go from there. Of course you will make adjustments along the way but you have to first start.

I appreciate my conversation this morning with my sister. It’s amazing how powerful knowledge truely is. Not only have I began building a powerful network I’ve also become just that much more motivated to go after my dreams.

So if you want to learn more about blogging and/or building your network please don’t hesitate to contact me. I can easily be reached by leaving a contact here on my blog and I promise you that I will get back with you.

Value of a Lead

“The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this – decide what you want “

Ben Stein

Last week we talked about finding good qualities in all people- including leads you just met. This week we will take a quick look at the potential Dollar value loss of each lead that you let slip away, and how important it is to make sure you keep them as a client and build a relationship with them. Always recognize that today’s first-time client can be 4- 7 potential transactions in the future, and that is just the beginning. If you take a closer look at this, and if you go with the low end assumption that every client on average refers you one new client over their life cycle- you can quickly understand the value of developing relationships over time.

So let’s take a closer look at this and use the assumption that each client sends you just one new client over their life cycle. It is easy to recognize that each client is worth a lot of revenue over their average life cycle when you set this up as a diagram. Go ahead take each client and add one referral and keep going deep with it 5 years, 10 years, and 15 years. Can you quickly see how important it is to value each lead and each relationship no matter what your average commission may be?

Now the key is can you continue to develop techniques to enhance these relationships -that is what separates the best from the rest. We will explore this topic more next week

I hope this has emphasized the importance of why you should build strong relationships with each and every prospect and client you meet.

It is not easy and takes a lot of time and effort, but it is the way all top Real Estate sales professionals build their business

To your success!

Michael Cosentino

Michael is the co-creator of http://www.REOSalesExcellence.com, which has trained hundreds of agents nationally on how to build a successful REO business. He is also the founder of http://www.FindREOAgents.com, a national directory that connects thousands of REO Real Estate Agents and Asset Managers from across the country. He has a passion for helping people avoid foreclosure, which he has brought to life with his investment and mitigation firm, Global Capital Management. His mortgage organization, Global Capital Mortgage, specializes in helping serve the distressed marketplace. To learn more about Michael, add him as a contact with this email: mc@michaelgcosentino.com