With so many Republicans currently serving prison sentences, on their way to jail, just getting out of jail, getting their sentences commuted, sweating under pending investigations, or simply retiring when their term is up to ‘spend more time with their family’, I wouldn’t be surprised if we start seeing GOP wings in certain state correctional facilities.

Indeed, the list is staggering. You’ve got Ted “The Internet is a series of Tubes” Stevens currently under investigation , then you’ve got Jack Abramoff currently serving his sentence (and, given his connections, I’d be willing to bet that Bob Barr was the first of many to shortly be joining him), there’s Scooter Libby, fresh out of jail (served no time thanks to Dubya, but isn’t looking to appeal his guilty conviction), and now the latest and greatest:

The mind reels. All this from the party of “family values”, who cry bloody murder and call those with opposing viewpoints traitors, and slander the names of honest Americans by suggesting that all their talk is somehow aiding and abetting terrorists. Well, how about ACTUALLY aiding and abetting terrorists, eh? Like, with the hundreds of thousands of dollars Mark Siljander funneled through an Islamic relief fund that was actually a front group for Al Qaeda?

Aaaaaaanyway, it’s no laughing matter. There’s plenty of crooks disguising themselves as civil servants and there’s no telling how many elected officials are currently getting away with some kind of underhanded fuckery. Most likely, we’ll never know. Even if Jack Abramoff starts squaking like a parakeet once he gets tired of his 6×8 cell, it’s a fair bet the American people will never have the whole story.

Which is why we at Weekly Review have written this little ditty to help you folks keep track of who’s going to jail, who’s in jail, and who will soon be on their way in or out, depending on what kind of dirt they have on their higher-ups. Enjoy!

Editor’s note: at seven verses in length, this is a pretty long song. So long, in fact, that when compiling it into an internet-friendly format, the song nearly destroyed my computer. I just find it somewhat ironic that a song about Republican corruption is so long that it nearly caused my computer to burst into flames.

Uh – okay. Sorry to hear about the whole ‘WEB PIRATES’ thing. But on the other hand, most of them suffer from scurvy and have poor hygiene. So, it’s a trade off, really.

As far as the downloading stuff illegally – um, it’s hard to steal something when it’s being given away for free. I post my music clips here, and people can listen to/download them for nothing. Not sure I grasp what you’re talking about here.