I have drawn considerable strength, comfort, and encouragement from these Scriptures over the past three decades. I pray that they encourage and bless you through the best and most difficult times in your life.

height nor depth, nor anything else
in all creation, will be able to separate

us from the love of God that is in
Christ Jesus our Lord.

Additional verses in perilous times:

Comfort and Strength

Exodus 15:2

2

“The Lord is my strength and my
defense;

He has
become my salvation.

He is my God, and I will praise Him,

my father’s
God, and I will exalt Him.

Exodus 33:14

14 The Lord replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will
give you rest.”

Deuteronomy 31:8

8 The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He
will never leave

you nor forsake you. Do not be
afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Deuteronomy 33:27

27

The eternal God is your refuge,

and
underneath are the everlasting arms.

He will drive out your enemies
before you,

saying,
‘Destroy them!’

Joshua 1:9

9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not
be afraid;

do not be discouraged, for the Lord
your God will be with you wherever you go.

1 Chronicles 16:11

11

Look to the Lord and His strength;

seek His
face always.

2 Chronicles 20:20

20 Early in the morning they left for the Desert of Tekoa. As
they set out, Jehoshaphat stood and said, “Listen to me, Judah and people of
Jerusalem!

Have faith in the Lord your God and
you will be upheld; have faith in His prophets

and you will be successful.”

Psalm 2:12

12

Kiss His Son, or He will be angry

and your way
will lead to your destruction,

for His wrath can flare up in a
moment.

Blessed are
all who take refuge in Him.

Psalm 3:3

3

But you, Lord, are a shield around
me,

my glory, the
One who lifts my head high.

Psalm 4:8

8

In peace I will lie down and sleep,

for You
alone, Lord,

make me
dwell in safety.

Psalm 5:3

3

In the morning, Lord, you hear my
voice;

in the
morning I lay my requests before You

and wait expectantly.

Psalm 9:10

10

Those who know Your name trust in
You,

for You,
Lord, have never forsaken those who seek You.

Psalm 16:8

8

I keep my eyes always on the Lord.

With Him at
my right hand, I will not be shaken.

Psalm 18:2

2

The Lord is my rock, my fortress and
my deliverer;

my God is my
rock, in whom I take refuge,

my shield
and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

Psalm 18:28

28

You, Lord, keep my lamp burning;

my God turns
my darkness into light.

Psalm 18:32

32

It is God who arms me with strength

and keeps my
way secure.

Psalm 18:35

35

You make Your saving help my shield,

and Your
right hand sustains me;

Your help
has made me great.

Psalm 23:2

2

He makes me lie down in green pastures,

He leads me beside quiet waters,

Psalm 23:6

6

Surely Your goodness and love will
follow me

all the days
of my life,

and I will dwell in the house of the
Lord

forever.

Psalm 25:1-2

1

In You, Lord my God,

I put my
trust.

2

I trust in You;

do not let
me be put to shame,

Psalm 25:5

5

Guide me in Your truth and teach me,

for You are
God my Savior,

and my hope
is in You all day long.

Psalm 27:1

1

The Lord is my light and my
salvation—

whom shall I
fear?

The Lord is the stronghold of my
life—

of whom
shall I be afraid?

Psalm 28:6

6

Praise be to the Lord,

for He has
heard my cry for mercy.

Psalm 28:7

7

The Lord is my strength and my
shield;

my heart
trusts in Him, and He helps me.

My heart leaps for joy,

and with my
song I praise Him.

Psalm 29:11

11

The Lord gives strength to His
people;

the Lord
blesses His people with peace.

Psalm 30:2

2

Lord my God, I called to You for
help,

and You
healed me.

Psalm 30:7

7

Lord, when You favored me,

You made my
royal mountain stand firm;

but when You hid your face,

I was
dismayed.

Psalm 31:3

3

Since You are my rock and my
fortress,

for the sake
of Your name lead and guide me.

Psalm 32:7

7

You are my hiding place;

You will
protect me from trouble

and surround
me with songs of deliverance.

Psalm 32:10

10

Many are the woes of the wicked,

but the
Lord’s unfailing love

surrounds
the one who trusts in Him.

Psalm 33:5

5

The Lord loves righteousness and
justice;

the earth is
full of His unfailing love.

Psalm 33:18

18

But the eyes of the Lord are on
those who fear Him,

on those
whose hope is in His unfailing love,

Psalm 34:4

4

I sought the Lord, and He answered
me;

He delivered
me from all my fears.

Psalm 37:7

7

Be still before the Lord

and wait
patiently for Him;

do not fret when people succeed in
their ways,

when they
carry out their wicked schemes.

Psalm 37:34

34

Hope in the Lord

and keep His
way.

He will exalt you to inherit the
land;

when the
wicked are destroyed, you will see it.

Psalm 37:39

39

The salvation of the righteous comes
from the Lord;

He is their
stronghold in time of trouble.

Psalm 46:1

1

God is our refuge and strength,

an
ever-present help in trouble.

Psalm 48:14

14

For this God is our God for ever and
ever;

He will be
our guide even to the end.

Psalm 51:12

12

Restore to me the joy of Your
salvation

and grant me
a willing spirit, to sustain me.

Psalm 55:23

23

But you, God, will bring down the
wicked

into the pit
of decay;

the bloodthirsty and deceitful

will not
live out half their days.

But as for me, I trust in You.

Psalm 56:11

11

in God I trust and am not afraid.

What can man
do to me?

Psalm 59:9

9

You are my strength, I watch for
You;

You, God,
are my fortress,

Psalm 59:16

16

But I will sing of Your strength,

in the
morning I will sing of Your love;

for You are my fortress,

my refuge in
times of trouble.

Psalm 61:2

2

From the ends of the earth I call to
You,

I call as my
heart grows faint;

lead me to
the rock that is higher than I.

Psalm 62:1

1

Truly my soul finds rest in God;

my salvation
comes from Him.

Psalm 62:2

2

Truly He is my rock and my
salvation;

He is my
fortress, I will never be shaken.

Psalm 62:5

5

Yes, my soul, find rest in God;

my hope
comes from Him.

Psalm 62:6-7

6

Truly He is my rock and my
salvation;

He is my
fortress, I will not be shaken.

7

My salvation and my honor depend on
God;

He is my
mighty rock, my refuge.

Psalm 63:8

8

I cling to you;

Your right
hand upholds me.

Psalm 68:19

19

Praise be to the Lord, to God our
Savior,

Who daily
bears our burdens.

Psalm 68:20

20

Our God is a God Who saves;

from the
Sovereign Lord comes escape from death.

Psalm 70:5

5

But as for me, I am poor and needy;

come quickly
to me, O God.

You are my help and my deliverer;

Lord, do not
delay.

Psalm 71:14

14

As for me, I will always have hope;

I will
praise You more and more.

Psalm 71:16

16

I will come and proclaim Your mighty
acts, Sovereign Lord;

I will
proclaim Your righteous deeds, Yours alone.

Psalm 71:20

20

Though You have made me see troubles,

many and
bitter,

You will
restore my life again;

from the depths of the earth

You will
again bring me up.

Psalm 73:26

26

My flesh and my heart may fail,

but God is
the strength of my heart

and my
portion forever.

Psalm 86:7

7

When I am in distress, I call to
You,

because You
answer me.

Psalm 86:17

17

Give me a sign of Your goodness,

that my
enemies may see it and be put to shame,

for You,
Lord, have helped me and comforted me.

Psalm 91:1

1

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the
Most High

will rest in
the shadow of the Almighty.

Psalm 91:2

2

I will say of the Lord, “He is my
refuge and my fortress,

my God, in
whom I trust.”

Psalm 91:9-11

9

If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,”

and you make
the Most High your dwelling,

10

no harm will overtake you,

no disaster
will come near your tent.

11

For He will command his angels
concerning you

to guard you
in all your ways;

Psalm 94:19

19

When anxiety was great within me,

Your consolation
brought me joy.

Psalm 103:2-4

2

Praise the Lord, my soul,

and forget
not all His benefits—

3

Who forgives all your sins

and heals
all your diseases,

4

Who redeems your life from the pit

and crowns
you with love and compassion,

Psalm 105:4

4

Look to the Lord and His strength;

seek His
face always.

Psalm 112:7

7

They will have no fear of bad news;

their hearts
are steadfast, trusting in the Lord.

Psalm 112:8

8

Their hearts are secure, they will have
no fear;

in the end
they will look in triumph on their foes.

Psalm 116:8

8

For You, Lord, have delivered me
from death,

my eyes from
tears,

my feet from
stumbling,

Psalm 117:2

2

For great is His love toward us,

and the faithfulness
of the Lord endures forever.

Psalm 118:6

6

The Lord is with me; I will not be
afraid.

What can
mere mortals do to me?

Psalm 118:5

5

When hard pressed, I cried to the
Lord;

He brought
me into a spacious place.

Psalm 118:14

14

The Lord is my strength and my
defense;

He has
become my salvation.

Psalm 119:50

50

My comfort in my suffering is this:

Your promise
preserves my life.

Psalm 119:143

143

Trouble and distress have come upon
me,

but Your
commands give me delight.

Psalm 119:154

154

Defend my cause and redeem me;

preserve my
life according to Your promise.

Psalm 121:2

2

My help comes from the Lord,

the Maker of
heaven and earth.

Psalm 124:8

8

Our help is in the name of the Lord,

the Maker of
heaven and earth.

Psalm 126:5

5

Those who sow with tears

will reap
with songs of joy.

Psalm 138:7

7

Though I walk in the midst of
trouble,

You preserve
my life.

You stretch out Your hand against
the anger of my foes;

with Your
right hand You save me.

Psalm 144:15

15

Blessed is the people of whom this
is true;

blessed is
the people whose God is the Lord.

Proverbs 3:5

5

Trust in the Lord with all your
heart

and lean not on your own
understanding;

Proverbs 30:5

5

“Every word of God is flawless;

He is a shield to those who
take refuge in Him.

Isaiah 8:17

17

I will wait for the Lord,

Who is hiding His face from the
descendants of Jacob.

I will put my trust in Him.

Isaiah 12:2

2

Surely God is my salvation;

I will trust and not be
afraid.

The Lord, the Lord Himself, is my
strength and my defense;

He has become my salvation.”

Isaiah 26:3

3

You will keep in perfect peace

those whose
minds are steadfast,

because they
trust in You.

Isaiah 30:15

15 This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel,
says:

“In repentance and rest is your
salvation,

in quietness
and trust is your strength,

but you
would have none of it.

Isaiah 33:2

2

Lord, be gracious to us;

we long for
You.

Be our strength every morning,

our
salvation in time of distress.

Isaiah 40:31

31

but those who hope in the Lord

will renew
their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will
run and not grow weary,

they will
walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 41:10

10

So do not fear, for I am with you;

do not be
dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

I will
uphold you with My righteous right hand.

Isaiah 43:1-3

1

But now, this is what the Lord
says———

He who created you, Jacob,

He who
formed you, Israel:

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed
you;

I have
summoned you by name; you are Mine.

2

When you pass through the waters,

I will be
with you;

and when you pass through the
rivers,

they will
not sweep over you.

When you walk through the fire,

you will not
be burned;

the flames
will not set you ablaze.

3

For I am the Lord your God,

the Holy One
of Israel, your Savior;

I give Egypt for your ransom,

Cush and
Seba in your stead.

Isaiah 43:5

5

Do not be afraid, for I am with you;

I will bring
your children from the east

and gather
you from the west.

Isaiah 46:4

4

Even to your old age and gray hairs

I am He, I
am He Who will sustain you.

I have made you and I will carry
you;

I will
sustain you and I will rescue you.

Isaiah 49:15

15

“Can a mother forget the baby at her
breast

and have no
compassion on the child she has borne?

Though she may forget,

I will not
forget you!

Isaiah 49:23

23

Kings will be your foster fathers,

and their
queens your nursing mothers.

They will bow down before you with
their faces to the ground;

they will
lick the dust at your feet.

Then you will know that I am the
Lord;

those who
hope in Me will not be disappointed.”

Isaiah 53:1

53

Who has believed our message

and to whom
has the arm of the Lord been revealed?

Isaiah 54:10

10

Though the mountains be shaken

and the
hills be removed,

yet My unfailing love for you will
not be shaken

nor My
covenant of peace be removed,”

says the
Lord, Who has compassion on you.

Isaiah 58:11

11

The Lord will guide you always;

He will
satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land

and will
strengthen your frame.

You will be like a well-watered
garden,

like a spring
whose waters never fail.

Daniel 3:17

17 If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve
is able to

deliver us from it, and He will
deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand.

Joel 2:25

25

“I will repay you for the years the
locusts have eaten—

the great
locust and the young locust,

the other
locusts and the locust swarm –

My great army that I sent among you.

Jeremiah 29:11

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord,
“plans to prosper

you and not to harm you, plans to
give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:13

13 You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your
heart.

Jeremiah 30:17

17

But I will restore you to health

and heal
your wounds,’

declares the Lord,

‘because you are called an outcast,

Zion for
whom no one cares.’

Habakkuk 3:19

19

The Sovereign Lord is my strength;

He makes my
feet like the feet of a deer,

He enables
me to tread on the heights.

Matthew 6:25-34

Do Not Worry

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what
you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more
than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of
the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly
Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can
any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? 28 “And
why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do
not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all
his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God
clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into
the fire, will He not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So
do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What
shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and
your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first
his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as
well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will
worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 11:28

28 “Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will
give you rest.

Mark 5:36

36 Overhearing what they said, Jesus told him, “Don’t be
afraid; just believe.”

Luke 1:37

37 For no word from God will ever fail.”

Luke 12:24

24 Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no
storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than
birds!

John 14:1

14 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God;
believe also in Me.

John 14:27

27 Peace I leave with you; My peace I give you. I do not give
to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be
afraid.

John 16:33

33 “I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have
peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the
world.”

Romans 8:6

6 The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind
governed by the Spirit is life and peace.

Romans 8:35-39

35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble
or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As
it is written:

“For your sake we face death all day
long;

we are
considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”

37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through
Him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor
life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any
powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all
creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ
Jesus our Lord.

Romans 15:13

13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you
trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy
Spirit.

1 Corinthians 1:9

9 God is faithful, Who has called you into fellowship with his
Son, Jesus Christ our

Lord.

2 Corinthians 1:3-11

3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 Who comforts
us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the
comfort we ourselves receive from God. 5 For just as we share
abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through
Christ. 6 If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and
salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you
patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. 7 And our hope
for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so
also you share in our comfort.

8 We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters,
about the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia. We were under great
pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life
itself. 9 Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death.
But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, Who raises
the dead. 10 He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and He
will deliver us again. On Him we have set our hope that He will continue to
deliver us, 11 as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give
thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers
of many.

2 Corinthians 4:8-12

8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed;
perplexed, but not in despair;

9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not
destroyed. 10 We always carry around in our body the death of
Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11 For
we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that
His life may also be revealed in our mortal body. 12 So then, death
is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

2 Corinthians 5:7

7 For we live by faith, not by sight.

2 Corinthians 12:9

9 But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My
power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly
about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

Philippians 4:6

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by
prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Philippians 4:12

12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to
have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every
situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.

Philippians 4:13

13 I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.

Philippians 4:19

19 And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches
of His glory in Christ Jesus.

Colossians 3:15

15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as
members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.

2 Timothy 1:7

7 For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives
us power, love and self-discipline.

Hebrews 12:2

2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of
faith. For the joy set before Him He endured the cross, scorning its shame, and
sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

1 Peter 4:7

7 The end of all things is near. Therefore be alert and of
sober mind so that you may pray.

1 Peter 5:7

7 Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.

Peter 5:10

10 And the God of all grace, Who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

2 Peter 1:3

3 His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly
life through our knowledge of Him Who called us by His own glory and goodness.

We are all having to deal with the Coronavirus. Most of the people in the World, at least in the U.S. are sequestered and dealing with this COVID – 19. Sometimes I call it The Plague. This thing came into prominence as far as our country, about 7 weeks ago, the middle of March. Our country has pretty much been on lockdown for the past 2 weeks. We are all homebound. People that do go out have masks and gloves on. I have never seen anything like this in my lifetime. The worldwide deaths and in our country are beginning to slow down and the hospitials are not as full. There is still a lot of fear, stress, and uncertainty.

I pray that this post will uplift and encourage you to stay close to the Lord. I will offer many scriptures at the end. These scriptures have strengthened and comforted me throughout the years and definitely apply right now.

There is a lot of emotional and financial stress right now with job layoffs, disruption, confinement, and isolation. This doesn’t mean that all the problems we had before Coronavirus stopped, whatever they were, whether they were emotional, fiancial, or relational. They have been magnified by this invisible enemy. So, we are doing the social distancing. Some of you many even know someone who has the virus. What do we do as believers and followers of Jesus Christ?

This is what we do:

We are in a war here against and “invisible enemy”, we are in a battle, and the Lord is watching us, the world is watching us, and this is an opportunity even though it is an incredibly stressful time.

We are to trust God no matter what. He really is in Control. This is not just a cliche’ or a worn out saying. He knows, He sees, this is not a suprise to Him, and so it will be used to His glory. He uses every tragedy, because He cannot be defeated, we know that.

We pray.

We do not succumb to fear.

We take the necessary precautions. Follow the Rules.

We trust Father God, the Maker of Heaven and Earth, the originator of our souls, our Glorious Creator. The Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

We also trust His Son, the Son of God, Jesus Christ. Our Savior and Redeemer.

We use this time to draw closer to God and to others with the Word, our lives, as the world looks on at us.

Here is some encouragement for us, for believers during these perlious times. There is nothing more powerful in times like this than His Word.

Psalm 91

1 Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”

4 He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

5 You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day,

6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.

9 If you say, “The Lord is my refuge; and you make the Most High your dwelling,

10 no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent.

11 For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;

12 they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

14 “Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

15 He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.

Romans 8

31 If God is for us, who can be against us?

35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?

37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who love us.

38 For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels nor demons, neither height, nor depth, nor anything in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Take the precautions, huddle up with family, do the social distancing, and all that, but believe that God is in Control. This pandemic will pass and there will be more tribulations and trials in this world to come. But remember “If God is for us who can be against us.” The who can be against us means any and everything.

God Bless and Protect you!

Comfort and
Strength During These Times

Scriptures in
Dealing with the Coronavirus as Believers and Followers of Jesus Christ

All families have conflicts. It’s human nature to disagree and argue. Opinions differ. Parents feud, children don’t always get along or get their way, and teenagers rebel. Conflict is beneficial when it’s done respectfully and produces good results. Some families go beyond ordinary conflicts. Their conflicts are intense and perpetual. They are called high conflict families. Family members are angry and confrontational. They live with constant tension and discord. Conflicts revolve around numerous problems and issues. Resolution attempts fail. These families are stuck in a raging war, always arguing and fighting. Everyone is frustrated and angry. They pray for peace but it never comes. Mistrust prevails. High conflict families have significant emotional pain underlying their conflicts. A great number of high conflict families are blended or have parents in the process of divorce. Family life is extremely difficult. Relationships are strained by anger, resentment, and unforgiveness.

Several factors contribute to making high conflict families. Individual factors include problems with depression, anger, personality disorders, substance abuse, etc. Interpersonal factors involve relationship issues. This includes breaches in trust, disappointment, unfaithfulness, broken promises, harshness, lying, manipulation, poor or troubled relationships between parents, children, or both. Negative interactions listed above contribute significantly to making high conflict families. Disasters, crises, death and especially divorce contribute to the development of high conflict families. High and unremitting conflict in families is always bad for kids, even if the parents are married.

Research on divorce reveals that this dramatic change in family structure adversely affects families. Divorce can inflict long standing effects on the father-child bond (Barbara Defoe, Christianity Today Nov. 17, 1997). Divorce tears families apart, everyone has to cope with a death that never dies. Children are changed forever. This change creates internal and external conflicts. Divorce brings on a multitude of problems. Blended families usually come from divorces. They run a great risk for becoming high conflict families. One teenager described her feelings about her parents divorce (Christianity Today 1994-2003). She said, “I am angry; I’m terrified; I’m feeling guilty; I’m ashamed; I’m frustrated; I’m lonely; I feel stupid; I am worried; I want my family back; I’m tired; I’m scared; and I feel so burned and betrayed.” Divorce increases the risk of interpersonal problems in children. There is evidence that many of these problems are long lasting. In fact, they may even become worse in adulthood. One study concludes that children are better off if their parents stay together and work out their problems than if they divorce (Popenoe 2002). The evidence suggests that stepfamilies are no improvement over single-parent families, even though typically income levels are higher and there is a father figure in the home. Stepfamiles have their own problems including interpersonal conflicts with new parent figures. These families are greatly at risk for breaking up. High conflict families are locked into negative cyclical arguments. Unresolved hurt blocks effective communication and problem solving.

Problems usually start from the top . Parents’ poor communication and troubled marriages negatively affecttheir kids. The children act out at home and school. Many high conflict marriages and families come to counseling with an array of presenting problems (surface issues) like jealousy, money, sex, communication, relatives, careers, religion, children, alcohol, etc. They usually struggle with hidden issues of caring, acceptance, control, integrity, and commitment (Gourley, 2003). Ultimately, strained relationships with God account for these problems. The anger is really hurt and fear (Gourley, 2003). Couples and family members explode in anger toward each other because they hurt inside. They have been injured and can’t take the pain anymore. They are fearful too. They lash out against one another to protect themselves from getting hurt. Tension rises, explosions occur, people withdraw, guilt and resentment remains, sometimes apologies, promises, then the cycle repeats. High conflict families battle over the slightest provocation. Most of the time the precipitating event (perceived offense) is minor and forgotten. The animosity and pain continues. Harmful words are spoken and spirits are crushed.

Profiles/Problems

• Blended Families

• Pre and Post Divorce Families

• Serious Marriage Problems

• Infidelity

• Conflicted Ex-Spouse Relationships

• Custody Issues/Court Problems

• Single Parent Families

• Troubled Family Relationships

• Personality Clashes

• Father Absence

• Uninvolved Fathers

• Conflicted Father Child Relationships

• Boundary Violations/Enmeshment

• Considerable Teenage Rebellion

• Children Acting Out

• Poor Communication Skills

• Poor Conflict Resolution Skills

• Anger Problems

• Controlling Parents

• Alcohol and/or Drug Abuse

• Financial Struggles

• Severe Family Stress

• Disconnected from God

• Resentment/Unforgiveness

• Losses

• Physical and/or Sexual Abuse

• Unresolved individual problems.

• Unresolved relationship problems

Solutions

Establish a new format for handling conflicts.

1. Take a time out. Everyone back off a few hours from arguing.

2. Come back at a preset time a few hours later and hold a family meeting.

3. One person at a time speaks at the meeting: state the problem, your feelings, and your recommendation. Offer a solution.

4. One person, preferably the father or mother, moderate the meeting. Reiterate each person’s complaint to the whole family after that person has spoken.

5. Go through the same process with each family member. After everyone has spoken, review the problems, feelings, proposed solutions, and expected outcomes.

6. The parents should decide on the most appropriate solution. It may become obvious that certain people in the family need to work on their relationships. Outline how this will be done. Time spent together, activities to do, etc.

• Mothers, encourage your children to have good relationships with their father. • For those remarrying; Go slow in blending your families.

• Build cooperative relationships with exspouses.

• Divorced families – work very hard to mend and prevent more hardships.

Do all of the above before prayer and end in prayer. Do everything in love, honoring and obeying the Lord. Meet as a group a few days later to review progress. If the animosity, anger, and tempers still flare, seek professional help! Some families cannot carry out the recommendations for addressing conflicts due to their volatility. If this is the case, seek professional help immediately. Many high conflict families have serious problems that cannot be resolved effectively without intervention. Conflict resolution and relationship repair are the primary objectives. Good professional help enables the whole family to: connect on an emotional level and understand one anther’s feelings; resolve and manage the crisis: develop healthy problem solving skills; heal the pain: build communication skills: and develop a preventive maintenance plan. None of the above will really occur without Christ. Christ centered therapy focuses on anger resolution and real forgiveness.

Healthy Families

Healthy families handle conflict well. They respect one another. Healthy families have parents committed to God and each other. They know that God honors them when they love and obey Him. They strive to resolve conflicts quickly and effectively. Most importantly, these families have healthy relationships. Love binds them together. They are Christ-centered. These families know that real healing and growth come with resolution, reconciliation, and forgiveness. They are motivated to live Christ-like lives. Healthy families also have fathers who are connected and involved with their children. These fathers are Godly men who keep their promises and go the distance with their families. They value their relationships with their families more than money, power, or prestige. Promise keeping fathers set the standard for Godly behavior in their homes. Nothing is impossible with God. Review your own life and commit to changing any negative patterns. Repair your broken and strained relationships. Step out in faith, pray for God’s help in accomplishing these tasks. Pass the blessing onto your children.

These are decadent times. The days are evil and getting worse. We are living in the end times. Lawlessness, murder, rape, child sexual abuse, pornography and all kinds of wickedness fill the air. Immoral and unethical behavior are rampant today. Who will stand up and speak out? Who will represent God and be used by Him to go against the world system in these evil times? Who will stand in the gap for their families and fellow Believers? Who will be a witness to a dying world? Who will remain steadfast in Christ, and serve and honor Him with their lives? Will you be the Joshua or Caleb that stands out? The world desperately needs Godly men. God wants an army of great grandfathers, grandfathers, fathers, sons and brothers to live this life for Him, to beat to His drum, to obey, trust and serve Him. The Godly man loves God, and follows Him, he doesn’t really care what other men think, he knows it is dangerous to fall in with the world. He knows that “fear of man will prove to be a snare.” Godly men face serious challenges, opposition, and adversity today. There are forces and situations (the self, devil, and the world) that oppose God and Godly men. When you commit to be a Godly man and pursue God with all your heart, you draw attention. You will be challenged. Christian men, we are in a vicious war today! Everything we stand for goes against the reality and agenda of this world! It isn’t easy to live for God in a godless world. There are countless temptations, obstacles, stresses, frustrations, and pressures.

The Call

God calls all Christian men to be Godly men (1Peter 1:13-14; Titus 2:11-15; Rom. 12:1-3). He spoke repeatedly through prophets, judges, kings, disciples, and apostles through the ages. He speaks to us through His Word. God clearly reveals His calling and expectations for men who belong to Him (Deut. 10:12-13; 1 Thess. 5:14-27; Ephes. 4:22-32; 2 Tim. 1:8-10; 1 Tim. 6:11-12; Phil. 3:13-15; 1 Peter 2:9-10). Jesus came so that all men could be drawn to Him and reconciled to God. Jesus urges men to live Godly lives (Mark 12:29-31; John 15:10; John 14:21; John 14:15). He is the God-Man who lived a perfect life. Our God is holy and pure. He calls Christian men to be pure and holy like Him (1 Peter 1:15-16; 1 Thess. 4:7). We are called to be set apart from the rest of the world (James 1:27). This is vital! Christ died for us to live a holy life. He gives us the power to live Godly lives. His love compels us to live Godly lives. He commands it! God calls us to love, trust, obey, and serve Him. He wants us to do this with everything we have. “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength.” (Mark 12:30). We are to love others also. “Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Mark 12:31). God calls men to love their families (wives and children) and their parents. He calls us to be strong, sensitive, caring, and compassionate. He calls Godly men to be a blessing. We are to bless not curse others. God wants us to live lives that strongly impact oth-ers for Him. He calls us to reflect Christ so that others will be drawn to Him (1 Peter 3:7-8; John 13:13-17; 1 John 3:16; Matt. 5:43-48). God calls us to be men of courage (Deut. 31:6). “We are not of those that shrink back and are destroyed but of those who believe and are saved.” (Heb. 10:39). We are not supposed to let fear overtake us or rule our lives. Fear motivates men to do things that disappoint, displease, anger, and grieve God. God also calls us to be men of vision (Prov. 29:18). God’s vision is our vision. We are called to live Godly lives and set our hopes, dreams, and future on Him. We are called to base our entire life and vision (for ourselves, families, and children) on Christ. God calls Christian men to be leaders. We are called to lead our family. We are supposed to lead by example in everything we do. Godly men are called to be responsible and accountable. Christian men are called by God to be providers and protectors for their families. Godly men are called to be relational. This is critical! You are called to connect with God, your wife, family, friends, and fellow Believers.

Attributes of a Godly Man

The attributes of a Godly man reflect his call. The Godly man strives to live his life the way God wants and equips him to live. You know when you have been around a Godly man. You sense God’s presence and peace in him. You want to be around him. You want to be his friend.

• He has a heart for God. He loves God and sincerely seeks to do His will.

• He has a reverent fear of God.

• He trusts and obeys God.

• He spends time with God daily. (prayer, quiet time)

• He reads his Bible.

• He walks with God. He confesses his sins, repents, and moves forward.

• He abides in Christ. He is God focused and God driven.

• He is completely dependent on God.

• He is humble. He does not think of himself too highly.

• He puts others first.

• He forgives.

• He is kind, compassionate, and loving.

• He is merciful.

• He gives back to God. He honors God with his time, talents, gifts, and money.

• He stores up treasures in Heaven not on earth. He is generous.

• He gives to others.

• He is a hard worker. Diligent and resourceful.

• He has a sound mind. He is self-controlled and alert.

• He is confident and leveled headed. Not tentative or double minded.

• He is courageous. Not ruled by anxiety and fear.

• He controls his temper. He is not ruled by his anger.

• He connects with his wife, family, children, and friends.

• He has close friends who are Godly men and does things with them.

• He lives a balanced life.

• He enjoys his private time, but is not a loner.

• He is active in and connected with his church.

• He has a healthy balance between family, work, and hobbies.

• He is sexually pure. He is faithful to his wife.

• He resists temptation, the world’s images and agenda.

• He has no addictions or idols. He is not controlled by lust, money, sex, drugs, alcohol, or anything.

• He keeps his promises. He tells the truth. He is honest.

• He lives to please God. He lives according to God’s standards.

• He is a leader. A servant leader. He follows Christ’s example.

• He keeps the Sabbath Day holy. He spends the day in worship and rest.

• He is used constantly and mightily by God.

• He has joy. God’s deep joy inside him.

• He is vibrant. He radiates Christ. He encourages others.

Equipped

God Almighty equips Christian men to live Godly lives (2 Peter 1:3-4). He does not choose and establish us without giving us the means to live Godly lives. Christ died to save us from eternal damnation and separation from Him, and to give us power over sin, power to love others, and power to live a Godly life! Jesus Christ knows the world we live in. He created it. He lived here as a man. All Godly men, no matter what their physical stature, race, vocation, financial status, and social position, are equipped to live a Godly life. The resources are there. We must choose to abide in and obey Christ. He gives us power to resist the devil, the world, and our own sinful nature. He equips us to fight the good fight and win! The same power that created the world and raises the dead, resides in the Godly man through the power of the Holy Spirit. There is no temptation or situation that God has not equipped us to resist, withstand, and overcome (1 Corn. 10:13). He is our Advocate. He is our Wonderful Counselor who equips us. Our enemies are His enemies. They are no match for the Living, Almighty God! Godly men in the Bible who abided in Him and obeyed Him experienced victory against all odds. God equips us as He equipped them to be Godly men. He finishes the job. He equips us with attributes and power to love and overcome in a godless world.

The Godly Man’s Influence

The Godly man makes a difference. He impacts people everywhere. The Godly man has a calm, peaceful, gentle, positive and friendly demeanor. He is humble. He is also strong, steadfast, confident, and focused. His Christ like presence is very appealing. People are blessed by him. They are changed because of him. The Godly man is a great husband, he loves and cherishes his wife. He connects with her on an intellectual, emotional, physical, and spiritual level. She is deeply moved by him and reciprocates with her love and respect for him. She wants to make him happy. They resolve conflicts. Their marriage thrives. The Godly man blesses and inspires his children. He connects with them deeply and relates to them in ways that make them feel secure and loved by him. Their experience growing up with a Godly father sets them up to seek, accept, trust, obey, and love their Heavenly Father. They draw close to Christ and live Godly lives because of their Godly father. The Godly man blesses his parents by honoring and loving them. The Godly man is the “iron that sharpens iron” for other Christian men. He compels, confronts, and stirs other men to be more like Christ. He comforts them during their difficult times. The Godly man blesses his church family. He participates in his church’s leadership, ministers to other members, and helps reach the lost for Christ. People take note of the Godly man wherever he goes. He’s different. He resists temptations. He is uncompromising about his beliefs. It shows. The Godly man does not apologize for being a Christian. People are drawn to him because of his gentle, caring, and loving spirit. They trust him.

Epilogue

God’s requires a great deal from His men. He also provides the means to be a Godly man. “As His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by His glory and virtue.” (2 Peter 1:3). I know it isn’t easy to live this life as a Godly man, it’s a process and a journey to become more like Christ. It can be rough. There are endless challenges. Don’t be discouraged if you fall as you strive to live a Godly life! We all do. Don’t give up pursuing God. You will overcome. You will be victorious! It is Christ’s will that you live a Godly life! We won’t be perfect Godly men until we are with the Lord in Heaven. We can become more Godly each day. We move forward. Strive to be more Godly. Ask the Lord to help you. He will. You will experience the joy of victory as you abide in Christ, love others, do good, and resist evil. God wants you to pursue Him. He absolutely pursues you. Keep magnifying the Lord with your life. Encourage and challenge other Christian men to become more Godly. Time is running out. How do you want to live the rest of your life? Let Christ’s eternal love and resurrection power make you more like Him. Let Him make you more Godly! Make a difference for Him!

True forgiveness is Supernatural. We understand as believers and followers of Jesus Christ that ultimately God sent His Son to forgive us of our sins so that we may live with Him on the other side of eternity with the Father (our Creator) and His Son Jesus Christ. He also gives us the power to forgive others who transgress against us in this life.

I wrote this article on forgiveness in 2010. It applies today too.

I pray that this helps you understand forgiveness more thoroughly and apply it when you are faced with forgiving someone.

Forgiveness – Ultimate Healing

It really hurts when someone close betrays you. The pain can be deep and the wounds long lasting. People can wound one another many ways. Spouses can be unfaithful through affairs, pornographic addictions, and lying about finances. Words are spoken that crush one another’s spirit. Children can also say and do things that grieve you tremendously. The list of the ways people can hurt one another seems endless. These wounds often times turn into anger, bitterness, resentment and unforgiveness. They consume people from the inside like a cancer. Unless these hurts are addressed and resolved, the wronged person becomes enslaved by hatred and hardness of heart – victimized by their own unwillingness to forgive. This has been a human condition since the fall of mankind. Sinful actions hurt others and this hurt frequently begets more pain as the offended seeks vengeance in retaliation against the offender. Pain and torment are perpetuated by unforgiveness. We all need God’s healing and forgiveness in our lives. As Christians, we know that the central aspect of our faith is forgiveness. The Good News is that we don’t have to be slaves to sin daily and we can forgive – with God’s help. God forgave us in Christ Jesus on the cross at Calvary over 2,000 years ago! He forgives us today. We know as Christians God requires that we forgive one another. (Mark 11:26) The topic of forgiveness has been widely preached and written on. Forgiveness is a critical component of the healing process. Still, many believe forgiveness is easier said than done. It is hard work but doable, only with Jesus Christ! What is forgiveness? How does it work, and how do we forgive? How do we walk in a constant state of forgiveness? I will address these questions and more as I examine Forgiveness and Ultimate Healing in this article.

“Father, forgive them,…”

Jesus spoke these words from the cross while the Roman soldiers divided His garments and cast lots. (Luke 23:34) This was the main reason Jesus entered into the world – to redeem it, to save us from our sins – to forgive us. (1 Tim. 1:15, John 12:47, Col. 1:14) God did this because He loves us. (John 3:16) Jesus Christ came supernaturally to do the supernatural, forgive mankind for our sins, past, present and future. This type of forgiveness makes it possible for us to forgive one another. There is no other way. It is unnatural to forgive. Christ made it possible through His Blood Atonement sacrifice for our sins and showed us how to forgive.Those three powerful words (“Father, forgive them”) from God in Christ Jesus were followed soon afterwards with “It is finished.” another set of words from Jesus that would change history forever! Christ’s mission was accomplished! Salvation through believing on Christ was finalized. He was crucified, dead and buried and rose on the third day, destroying the works of Satan and setting us, the captives free from eternal death. God brings us, through Christ and His power in us, the ability to forgive and be forgiven. This is the starting and ending point for Christians to understand and live a life of forgiveness. God’s love compels and empowers us to forgive. We have everything we need to live in victory over sin and forgive those who trespass against us! We must always remember Jesus’ Words on the cross, His Resurrection, Ascension, and Promises. Jesus is Love. He is Forgiveness.

Unforgiveness

Forgiveness is no longer holding what someone did to you against them. Unforgiveness is keeping a grudge or holding onto the ill will (bitterness and resentment) you have toward that person
who hurt you. For example, former spouses hate each other for things that they did to one another while married. They go on for years harboring unforgiveness. They stay angry at one another “forever.” Unforgiveness creates many problems. Unforgiveness imprisons the offended and does not really hurt the offender. The real loser is the offended for not letting go of the offense. The mental torment affects them because they live with the bitterness. Your emotional and spiritual growth is blocked when you live with unforgiveness. It prevents you from getting to what God has next for you. Unforgiveness grieves God and hinders our prayers. God will not forgive us unless we forgive others. (Matt. 6:14,15) Unforgiveness affects our relationships with family and friends. We are not fully available to others, mentally and emotionally, when we are consumed with resentments. Unforgiveness brings mistrust, anger, and emotional issues into our future relationships. Unforgiveness “poisons the well.” The most sad and dangerous part of unforgivenenss is that it blocks us from experiencing a full relationship with Christ. It hinders our growth and steals our freedom and joy in Christ. Unforgiveness (bitterness and resentments) can predispose us to all kinds of physical and emotional problems. Depression, anxiety, and anger problems, etc. can be rooted in unforgiveness. Physical manifestations like weakened immune systems, high blood pressure, heart problems ulcers, etc. may be related to unforgivenes. Doctors’ offices are filled with people suffering from all kinds of disorders that are stress and emotionally related. This does not mean that every physical illness is caused by unforgiveness but that many are predisposed by it.

Common reasons we don’t forgive:

 The offense was too great.
 He/she won’t accept responsibility for the offense.
 He/she isn’t truly sorry.
 He/she never asked to be forgiven.
 He/she will do it again.
 He/she did it again.
 I don’t like him/her.
 If I forgive the offense, I’ll have to treat the offender well.
 Someone has to punish him/her.
 Something keeps me from forgiving.
 I’ll be a hypocrite if I forgive, because I don’t feel like forgiving.
 I’ll forgive, but I won’t ever forget.

Why We Forgive

We forgive because Christ forgave us. (Col. 3:13, Ephes. 4:32) Jesus commands us to forgive. He confirms this in the Lord’s Prayer when He taught us to pray: “and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” (Matt. 6:9-13) We must go to God daily in prayer, confess our sins, and ask for His forgiveness. Jesus also said, “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. (Mat 6:14) “But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” (Mat 6:15) So we must forgive so God will forgive us when we sin. We forgive so we don’t give the devil a foothold (2 Cor. 10:-11) Jesus talked about the need for Christians to forgive others and how God hates the wicked sin of unforgiveness. (Matt. 18:21-35) 1 John 3:15 says, “whoever hates his brother is a murderer.” Hatred is unforgiveness. Unforgiveness is sin and sin is bondage. We forgive so we don’t get entangled by this bondage. (Gal.5:1) We forgive because it is the right thing to do. Life without forgiveness and forgiving is unbearable. We forgive because it helps bring healing and restoration to us and others. We forgive so we can be filled with joy (John 17:13) and have fullness of joy. (John 15:11) Jesus shows and tells us these things so we may have His joy, that we can be complete in Him, that we can live this life in His power, through His love and be a living testimony of His redemption! We cannot do this unless we forgive as we have been forgiven. We (Christians) are told to be merciful, forgive, and above
all love. “Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, long suffering; ( Col 3:12) bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.” (Col 3:13) “But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection.” (Col 3:14 ) We are then free to “let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful.” ( Col.3:15)

Forgiveness is no longer holding what someone did to you (the offense) against them. Forgiveness is choosing by an act of the will in obedience to God’s Word, against your emotions to forgive. Forgiveness is giving unconditional, unmerited favor to someone who does not deserve it. We have divine forgiveness where transgressors are forgiven by God (Eph. 4:32; Col 2:13; 3:13) and
human forgiveness (Luke 7:42-43 (debt); II Cor 2:7, 10;12-13; Eph. 4:32).

Forgiveness encompasses:

 Our need for forgiveness.
 Our forgiveness from God.
 Freedom from demonic torment.
 Our need to focus upon the Lord and His Faithfulness.
 Frees us from focusing on our past offenses, and allows us to live for today.
 Relinquishing wrath toward the other person, vengeance is the Lord’s.
 Knowing you’ve done what God has asked you to do.
 Transferring what happens next to God.
 Releases God’s divine healing power – the more awful the offense, the more you need this.
 Decrease of self-condemnation.
 Releasing of thankfulness so you can live with the conscious knowledge of God’s protection and love.

Forgiveness should not be confused with:

 Approving others’ behavior.
 Excusing others’ behavior.
 Saying the offense is of no importance.
 Saying you are of no importance.
 Commitment to relate in the future.
 Ceasing to be appalled that it happened.
 Automatically forgetting.
 Saying it wasn’t painful and it still hurts.
 Believing it is okay with God that it happened.
 Believing you are not justified in being very angry.
 Believing you shouldn’t tell the other person how angry you are.
 Believing you’ll feel better about the event.

Three great examples of forgiveness in the Bible include Esau and Jacob (Gen. 33:4), Joseph and his brothers (Gen. 45:5-15, 50:19) and Jesus on the cross (Luke 23:34) Forgiveness unlocks the anger, bitterness, and resentment. It sets you and me on the road to healing and ultimately draws us closer to God and glorifies Him. In all the Biblical examples of forgiveness, God’s kingdom was
advanced. People were set free and the miraculous occurred. The benefits of forgiving always outnumber the results of unforgiveness. There is no comparison between the Godly outcome of forgiveness and sinful results of harboring unforgiveness. We forgive because we must, the alternative is bondage. We forgive because we love and obey Christ! We want to bless and not curse others.

How to Forgive

We cannot truly forgive someone without the power of Jesus Christ! We must start with Him. Forgiveness is inevitable when you rely on and involve God in the process.

Steps on Forgiving:

1. Decide to forgive.
2. Understand that forgiveness is a process.
3. Go to God and ask for His strength.
4. Forgive yourself.
5. Approach the other person first.
6. Rehearse/practice before going to the person.
7. Use I statements like “I feel . . . I felt. . .”, not “You did…You made . . .”
8. Consider writing a letter. Send it or Hold onto it.
9. Allow God to heal you, grieve and let go completely of the offense and pain over time.
10. Surrender (yourself) to God daily.
11. Abide in Christ – become more like Him every day.

Forgiveness is choice. It will not happen unless you choose to forgive. You must commit to forgive even though you really would rather not. Forgiveness is not a one-time event either; it is a process with ups and downs. You may be making progress one day in letting go but find yourself taking it back the next. It’s hard to drop the resentment. You may feel like the other person needs to be punished and your grudge partially accomplishes that. It doesn’t. An” eye for an eye” approach will not set you free nor does it make things right. You will forgive over time. It is impossible to really forgive God’s Way without doing so in His strength. Human forgiveness is not the same as Godly forgiveness. We are limited by our sin nature and complete forgiveness only comes with God’s help. Forgive yourself. Sometimes you are the transgressor and wronged someone. You must let go of any unforgiveness you have toward yourself. Maybe you were wronged and need to forgive yourself for the damage you did to yourself for hurting others and disobeying God in your unforgiveness. Ask the Lord to forgive your trespasses as you forgive those who trespass against you. (Matt. 6:12)

Some situations make it difficult or impossible to physically approach the one who offended you. They may be missing, dead, incarcerated, or far away. Approach those you can first, don’t let years go by harboring unforgiveness. Take the initiative, step out and contact the person who grieved you and let them know you forgive them. Do this and let Christ set you free! Don’t wait for them to come to you and ask for your forgiveness, it may be long time coming, and it’s not the same as you approaching them first. Pray before you do this. Practice what you will say when you tell them you forgive them. Use “I” statements when addressing them, not “you this and you that” blaming them, accusing, defaming or attacking statements. It is important to let them know the hurt and pain they caused you. You are not condoning what they did. Sometimes it helps to write a letter to the person who wronged you. This letter may be an exercise helping you order and express your
feelings. The person may be deceased on unreachable. The letter will be therapeutic even though you never send it. Let God heal you. Let His love flow over you. He knows all about pain and forgiveness. Healing will come as you let Him move you through your grief. His love is a consuming fire, it will burn up your resentments. Surrender yourself to Him daily. This comes from abiding in Him. It’s a continual process every day. We can’t bear fruit unless we abide in Him. The sinful self must be crucified or it will interfere every time with forgiving and our growth as Christians. “He must become greater, I must become less.” (John 3:30) This keeps us ready to forgive.

Healing

Ultimate healing comes from forgiving that person who wounded you. Your broken heart is healed by Christ as you forgive. The burden is lifted. You sleep better. Your soul finds rest in Him. Freedom and wholeness fills you as you realize you don’t hold that grudge anymore. Actually, you are able to look at this person with mercy and compassion now. They need Jesus just like you and me. That kind of healing can only come from Christ moving powerfully in a person totally submitted to Him. Complete restoration! Deep healing. You are released from the prison of unforgiveness which once enslaved you. A load has been lifted, you feel much better. The memory remains without the bitterness, you know now what it means to “love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” (Matt.5:44) You know what it means to forgive. No more haunting moments of wrath towards your offender. No more restless nights wishing they could suffer like you have. No more vengeful feelings. Eventually your fears and post traumatic stress resulting from severe emotional wounds caused by the offender will also evaporate as you heal. The more serious traumas may require Christian Counseling but it will still be Christ who helps you forgive and heals you totally. Powerful long lasting healing comes from Christ, ultimate healing poured out from Him as He forgave us from the cross. We didn’t deserve it but He forgave us anyway. Forgiveness heals us and our broken relationships. Forgiving someone does not always lead to a restored relationship with that person. You may not associate with them but you are free from your past unforgiveness toward them. Forgiveness always results in your wholeness and restoration. God heals you. You let Him help you let go. There is a line from the Newsboys song, Let it Go, “You won’t understand it, just let it go.”1 We really will never fully grasp the depth of Christ’s forgiveness (here on earth) and how it works in us as we forgive others. Forgiveness benefits us physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Daily cleansing and renewal from God
come when we confess, repent, and forgive. It’s His Amazing Love! That’s why we forgive.

Walking in Forgiveness

Walk in a constant state of forgiveness. Be ready to forgive before people offend you. This does not mean that the offenses are justified or don’t hurt you. It simply means we are ready to forgive because Jesus Christ forgave us and commands that we forgive others. We prove our love for Jesus by obeying Him. (John 14:15) Practice walking in forgiveness. It will change your life! Move with His Passion, Love, and readiness to forgive. This should be the Christian mindset. Forgive! Don’t question, just do it and the Lord will bless you for it. It’s easier to forgive when those offenses come when you live like this. People will betray you. They will break your heart. Despite the pain inflicted on us, no matter how wrong the offense, you and I must forgive. It’s a process made easier when we walk in that readiness to forgive. You don’t have to understand it. Do it and see what happens. You will never be disappointed when you trust God. Our sovereign God’s love and mercy endures forever! Abide in Christ and be ready to forgive.