Lucas Hollweg: Table talk

“Sorry,” said the voice at the other end of the phone, “but we have no tables.” No tables? But you’re a hotel restaurant in the City. You must have tables. Hotel restaurants in the City just aren’t that busy. “I’m sorry,” the voice insisted, “but we have absolutely no tables at all this lunchtime.” I tried a different tack. What about the bit where you don’t need to book? I read about that somewhere. Couldn ’t I sit there? “Yes, of course, sir. The communal table. I’ll put you down for quarter past one.”

Half an hour later, I was stepping from the rain-lashed pavement into the Crowne Plaza Hotel near Blackfriars bridge.

Normally, of course, the Crowne Plaza wouldn’t be my first choice of luncheon venue. Perhaps