Ass shots. Ass shots. Ass shots.

Many women assume that having a bigger butt is the best way to achieve success, although it is one of them, it is not the only way. What ever happened to God made you perfect in his own way? Now individuals are creating payment plans to give themselves a little more plumpness, to tilt their nose a little more leftness, and to raise their eyebrows a little more upness. I understand that surgeons are ones who perform operations, but I assumed those operations were repairs not adjustments.

Now on Instagram a fat ass is a fat ass. A well taken photo of a nice butt well get my like every single time. The girl can have the face of the Grinch and the eye of the little boy from A Christmas Story and I still wouldn’t care, the ass is the only thing I’m focusing on. Now just because my focal point is skewed doesn’t mean I’m fully invested into this women’s career. A fat ass comes with more problems than people think.

I grew up in Baltimore City, one of the meccas for fat asses, so I’ve seen my fair share. There were two types of women with fat asses. There are women who try to hide their ass because they much rather achieve success for their work rather than their assets. And there are women who use their ass rather than their work to achieve success. Both of these options are acceptable because it’s your body and that’s who you are. But if you don’t have an ass, suck it up. Baby penis’d men aren’t out here paying thousands for some inches. It’s ridiculous.

Am I completely against ass shots? Of course not. But if you’re my partner and I find out your butt is fake, missionary is the only position you’ll see me in. We’ll do missionary so much that we’ll both receive purple hearts by the end of the year. Ass shots are nice to look at but not to feel. Nobody likes cuffing a bag full of wet sand.

There are plenty of ways to acquire an ass without paying money for it. I’ve seen it done plenty of times. But these ways differ because not every women is the same. Just because squats and peanut butter worked for Lisha doesn’t mean it’ll work for Rachel. And just because backshots, thanksgiving leftovers, and prayer worked for Rachel doesn’t mean it’ll work for Candice. If having a fatter ass is something that you so desperately need than just work for it. Because you might pay Dr. Miami $15,000 dollars but forget to buy new closet full of clothes or a bigger toilet seat.

A fat ass is nice, yes it is, but it’s not everything. Eventually a fat ass becomes soggy which makes it less and less appealing, well ones that aren’t kept up. But they’re not everything. Now matte how you’re built the cards may not end in your favor. The best way to give yourself an opportunity is to know what you need to know, and to be who you truly are.