Did you ever wonder what in the Hell Tea Baggers were talking about when they were all shrieking about how they wanted to ‘take our country back?’ After all, our country was never run by illiterates, and the Confederates did lose the Civil War. Well, now we can be reasonably certain that what they wanted was to ‘take the country back’ to a time when no matter how intellectually inferior, or how unfit you were to be among decent people, you could still loudly pretend that you were a person of status, based solely on your pigmentation.

Meet the latest braying right-wing jackass to absolutely prove that sad little pretension wrong, wrong, wrong; Barbara Espinoza, an Arizona radio host who loudly proclaimed on the air, that she refers to Barack Obama as “the first monkey president.” In fact, she was so proud of this inventive piece of witticism, that she loudly interrupted the obviously confused elderly caller, who was either uncertain of the name of the (Arizona Senator) who was the Republican candidate in 2008, or was saying he voted for Herman Cain (who wasn’t on the ballot in the Arizona primaries). He also called Obama “Rabbit Ears,” so you understand, this was some in-depth political conversation.

You can listen to this cankerous sore on the nation’s brain-stem here.

(If you listen to the clip, you hear that it’s actually being used as a promo for the radio station. Yep, ‘ Are you an inept, narrow-minded miscreant with access to an AM radio? Have we got a show for you!’)

But just because she referred to the President as a monkey three times, at the top of her lungs in under a minute, does not mean she’s a racist. Heaven forfend! After all, her last name is Espinoza! Perhaps you’d like to see a picture of this desert flower, this Senora Espinoza?

Oh yeah, she’s as ethnic as Barbara Bush. Her ‘logic’ that she can’t be racist because of her last name, makes about as much sense as me saying I could never eat bacon, because my last name has the word ‘Ham’ in it.

But she’s not shying away; not from what she said, or from the fact she’s a third-rate mind with zero grasp on the simplest concepts required to pass a middle school Civics exam:

To set the record straight I did use the word monkey and Obama in the same sentence. Yes I did say I voted for the white guy. Unless there has been a takeover of America and free speech is no longer allowed and I can be put to death for making a remark, I refuse to take the fifth.

First someone call the show, and let Babs know that there is no need to ‘take the fifth,’ it wouldn’t apply here. But it sure is brave of her to admit to saying something that was publicly broadcast, and promoted on the internet by her own radio station. What a heroic stand!

She can’t be put to death for being stupid, but if she was in a life or death struggle with a Chinese finger trap, I’d give you odds she’d lose.

Of course the icing on this manure cake, is on her blog post, where she includes a cut and paste of the ‘Theory of Evolution, along with another seemingly unrelated piece about monkeys. It’s not really apropos of anything, but seeing as it’s almost certainly her first run-in with any type of science, we can understand her confusion. It’s always good for a laugh when you see someone you know has never said anything positive about evolution, clumsily use it as a defense.

Tell you what, Barbara: If you want to take our country backwards, you’ve got a big head-start from an evolutionary perspective.