Definitely in the “don’t try this at home” category: Adventurer Brad Byers has a video out in which he basically uses his body as a cutting board. In a video published on the Caters Clips YouTube channel yesterday, wielding a giant saber and a row of cucumbers, Byers uses his forearm, crotch, even the back of his neck as a surface to cut the vegetables on.

He apparently practiced on a chopping block, quickly becoming so adept that he was able to move up to forearm slicing. On Byers’ own YouTube channel, he says his plan is “to begin with this bit to show the machetes are sharp and then climb the ladder of machetes barefoot!!!”

If Byers looks familiar, you might have seen him on America’s Got Talent, putting an 18" hook up his nose and out his mouth, then hanging an anchor from it, in season four. Or returning to swallow as many as 11 double-edged 27-inch swords in season eight (offering his own X-ray machine for proof). He’s a “yo-yo sharpshooter,” with a trick that involves knocking an aspirin off of an ear. He’s also adept at juggling, unicycles, and lying on beds of nails.

We’d say that Byers has too much time on his hands, but it seems to be working for him. But, again, for the love of god: Don’t try this at home.