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Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Yes. On a sci-fi/fantasy blog, I am going to discuss a regular TV drama! But it’s not a regular one, it’s a good one! ;) ... Being Erica! And you could argue it has sci-fi elements coz she travels back in time to fix past regrets as part of her therapy! :) But the main reason I love it coz it talks about some of the life shit angst some of us feel in our 30’s. (see my story Crossroads) And all the little issues you debate and wonder about. I’m prompted to write because of a couple of episodes I recently watched from season 2.

I was talking with a friend about an issue that came up in the episode Yes We Can (S02E05). She gets a "do-over" day where she gets to do her day a second time but no one involved will remember it. A day with no consequences so no reason to restrain yourself or hold back in any way! :) So she decides to speak her mind about her disapproval of her sister's marriage. And of course she ends up making everything worse, with her sister vowing never to talk to her again. And I guess the wisdom was that a lot of the "rules" holding us back from saying and doing anything we want are for the sake of not hurting others, not always fear of breaking some artificial societal conventions. Albert Camus' The Outsider comes to mind. We discussed it in class as if the character was just breaking free from these artificial rules imposed by us on society, but I'm sorry... he killed a guy! And whether that's morally wrong or not (coz the character didn't seem capable of grasping the morality of it), a group of people that decide to live together in whatever form (community, city, etc.) practically speaking have to agree not to kill each other! You just can't live together otherwise!

And the other episode I couldn't help think about was coz I was just reading a great article about pushing ourselves out of our boring routines to explore life (for so many good reasons) and he wrote: "Stretching in these small ways [by trying new things] prepares us to take wider leaps." and that "It also becomes easier to rise to our highest callings, most of which lie beyond the threshold of familiarity." And I couldn’t help but think how perfectly that was illustrated in the Being Erica episode Cultural Revolution (S02E04). She got given an amazing opportunity to write and publish her first book and going with our classic thinking of "no guts, no glory" she decides to do it despite the huge feelings of wariness, fear, and reluctance. But as is always the case with these episodes she learns a wiser attitude by the end. That although it is true great reward rarely comes without great risk, what's more important is "that you take the risks that are right for you." (as Erica put it ;) Which this article described perfectly. We take these small leaps so that we are ready for the big opportunity if it comes our way. Which means that it’s ok to say ‘no’ to great opportunities if we're not ready. That it actually makes sense to. But that ideally we use that to galvanize us, to re-motivate us to continue expanding and improving ourselves so that next time one comes we're ready! :) I myself keep thinking of one I had. I had the opportunity to produce a stage combat show, but once I started looking into it I was overwhelmed. I wanted to be in the show, but my skills were limited coz I had only recently completed Basic FDC level, I had no knowledge of suitable venues, and as well it would all be part of a party that had to be organized as well. I can't say I regret backing out, hindsight has at least made me sure there was no way I could've done it, but I do think about it a lot as a lost opportunity that unfortunately I wasn't ready for.

Oh! One more great point from the episode! That doing something different than we'd usually do, is the actual "risky" thing, not doing something that is perceived by others as risky!

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comments:

oh, maybe I should "expand." ;-) I completely agree about pushing our own personal boundaries. A venture not taken, a venture not explored. Pushing our boundaries helps us to learn and grow and I'm all for it. As for what you think is your "missed opportunity..." you really don't know that. As humans we possess the ability to make decisions. We can live perfectly fine never making any difficult decisions, or making many many difficult decisions. Your chance to direct challenged your decision and you chose not to go for it. The other unknown is, you don't know if this opportunity will present itself to you again... or maybe an even better opportunity will come because you did not choose this first opportunity.

The flip-side to all these musings is to not regret your decisions. You learn from it, decide what you like or don't like about it, and then use this knowledge to move on to your next opportunity to make a decision. :-)

i never managed to reply at the time and now i'm finally catching up! :( but awesomely wise words!!! i watched another episode yesterday that i thought had a great point too... something about Sam breaking the rules finally and being happier for it! :)