I totally forgot I wrote about lying recently. The topic must have been formulating ideas in my subconscious because I wrote a blog on lying in Word to paste into WordPress tonight because my husband’s computer works better that way. Then I read my post because someone commented on it.

So, here it is: The television show “Everyone Loves Raymond” exaggerates human frailties and miscommunications just enough to make people laugh.

In one episode, after Raymond talked to his older brother Robert about the pitfalls of marriage when he was forced to stay home and wait for a curtain delivery, it influenced Robert’s thinking about committing to his girlfriend. Then Raymond told his wife he was just kidding when she confronted him about it. His parents were upset. He told his mom, “You know how I am, I joke around a lot.”

The more he protested, the more a childhood rhyme came to mind: “Liar, liar pants on fire…” Then something about them hanging on a telephone wire. It’s been a long time since I was a kid. 🙂

We took lying seriously when we were kids. Everybody lied, but usually it was a small thing and when you realized you lied, you went to the person and said you were sorry. You did your best not to lie. If kids found out you lied regularly and you never admitted it, then they didn’t trust you, and suddenly you weren’t invited to play games outside with the others. Maybe someone throws a birthday party and you’re the only one at home feeling left out. That’s how it was when I grew up.

Lots more interaction with parents mostly staying out of kids’ business. If I had a falling out with one of my friends, my mom would listen to me and then say, “Well, what do you want to do about it?”

I’d list my options and then she’d say, “If you were her, what would you want to happen?”

Then I’d go and think some more. I’d tell her. If it seemed like a good idea, she’d say that might work out. If she thought it was a lousy idea, she’d say, “Hmm, you really think that will help?”

I’d give my answer and then she’d say, “I hope you two can be friends again. You’ve been friends a long time.”

Then she’d leave me alone and let me work it out or let the relationship slide. I miss my mom.

She was easy going unless I pulled some stunt that really upset her. Then I’d hear about it and get punished for it. Consequences always caught up with me. I got my mouth washed out with soap one time, I either sassed her back or told a fib or used a swear word when young and not aware of the backlash or rebellious enough at the moment not to care.

She reminded me that “young ladies” do not behave that way. She was loved by many, even with her imperfections. She mothered every kid that came her way.

In Mary Higgins Clark’s book, Kitchen Privileges: A Memoir, she wrote that her Fordham University professor advised her to, “Take a true situation, one that intrigues you, that stays in your mind, ask yourself two questions, ‘Suppose’ and ‘What if,’ and turn them into fiction.”

I wrote that on an eraser board which hangs in my office, so I don’t know what page it’s on. It’s published by Pocket Books, New York, NY, copyrighted in 2002, and I enjoyed her book.

I’ve noticed with all that’s going on with my daughter’s wedding, my mind is not at peak performance. My husband is watching a television show with an actress I’ve liked for years and I cannot remember her name. I’m about to Google it because it’s driving me crazy.

She reminded me of a best friend from my high school days, so it surprises me that I can’t remember her name. Candice Bergen, unbelievable. Oh well, not high on my list of priorities. If you’re a Candice Bergen fan, please don’t take offense. I’ve enjoyed her acting many times over the years.

So, to get back to writing. I’ve been doing some deeper cleaning in preparation for company for the upcoming wedding. I ran across a paper that said, “A word from the Lord” on it, which I perceived to be from God. One of the items was to blog every day. The other was to send out a devotional I wrote months ago.

I realized I started the blogging, but never sent out the devotional because when I checked the guidelines it asked for at least fifty more words. It also asked for a current picture. The picture I have on Gravatar is not representative of my looks right now. I just have casual photos and some days I feel like a hamster on a wheel, so I haven’t asked any good photographers to capture my image. I’ve hired a photographer in the past and that was too long ago to look current.

Time to get past excuses and get on with editing the devotional and taking time earlier in my day to work on the novel. I looked at the file folder I have the latest edition of my novel in and I haven’t written since January 4, 2016 on it. Not cool.

I need to up the stakes on my protagonist, I think I’ve mentioned that before. I got the idea while blogging that I should take Mary Higgins Clark’s professor’s advice and ponder “What if…” and “Suppose this happened?”

Have you ever had a conversation with someone and later found that they left out specific information that would have made all the difference in your response?

I received a text from someone asking about etiquette and I was sitting at a table full of women, one a pastor. So we discussed the option and gave her our unanimous advice. Later, I found out so much more about the situation.

I know better than to discuss anything important over a text because you can’t see body language or hear voice inflections. This situation seemed so clear cut, I forgot my no text rule over something that may have been important.

I used to think it was okay to speak over the telephone when trying to work out a difficulty until I read an expert on human relationships say that the same problem with texting hurts telephone communication, too. Not enough cues come through technology.

Clear communication is essential for relationships, for teaching, and for reaching people with the gospel.

It’s worth the effort to clarify when trying to get an idea across to someone. Listening is worth the time it takes to set aside our own thoughts and agenda and just listen. I’ve learned this the hard way. Proverbs 18:13 (NKJV) says, “He who answers a matter before he hears it, It is folly and shame to him.“

When I worked at a job in my younger years that required me to talk to a client, a man with a severe speech impediment needed to explain things occasionally. I got to the point that I’d fill in the words for him to hurry up the conversation. After a few times of this, he got mad at me and told me to cut it out. I was so embarrassed. He was right, it only made things worse. Years later, I read Proverbs 18:13. Oh, man, if only I’d known this earlier.

I met a neighbor of a person I know, and the neighbor said her neighbor doesn’t exactly lie, but she omits things. “So that is lying, isn’t it?”

Not that we’re supposed to share everything in the world, but leaving things out that are important – well, you get it.

I’d like to say thank you to everyone who’s liked my blogs or made comments. Sometimes I’m able to easily remark on their sites and other times I feel like a complete non-techie person. So thank you if you’ve liked my blog or commented on it.

I like to thank people. I remember as a twelve year old, if I remember my age correctly, going to Boston to see relatives with my teenage sister and my uncle. I kept thanking my aunt and uncle for money to buy ice cream at the ice cream store, for meals, for letting us stay,
ad nauseum.

Finally, my sister said, “Will you quit with all the thanking!”

So I decided to lighten it up. 🙂

God says in Philippians 4:6 (KJV), “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God,” and in 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (KJV), “In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”

When a person is thankful it tends to give them a more positive outlook. Also, if people list their blessings every night, there is research that says depression leaves.

Other activities help as well. Thinking of others and caring for them pulls us out of our inward downward spiral.

So, be grateful in a non-obnoxious way and others will appreciate your comments.

The Bible also says, in Philippians 4:5, (KJV), “Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand.”

Not overdoing in thanking, or eating or other things really helps keep me in balance. I’m not perfect, believe me. I look at my life now compared to many years ago and listen to my husband’s comments and note there is improvement. Thank You, Jesus!

I visited my son this week and he said he thought he might have lived life a little fuller if he hadn’t watched so many tv shows. I reminded him that I limited his viewing. Then he spouted some statistics which went right over my head.

My husband and I took coaching classes. At one of our first
classes the instructor told us that the brain gets stimulated by the shows and sucks the person right into the viewing mode.

Have you ever thought, “I’ll just watch one more show and then I’ll do the dishes or write for two hours or whatever
pressing need you have to accomplish and then you realize you’ve watched two more programs than you ever intended to do.

What do you do then? Do you rush back to your previous plans? Or do you find yourself all relaxed and find your creativity or work ethic is put on hold?

I attended a Ladies’ Bible Study this week and one of the participants is a pastor’s wife. She started in her twenties and is now at retirement age. In the course of our discussion on how to handle difficulties when they come our way, she remarked that as a pastor’s wife, she’s had to forgive people for gossiping about her. I looked at all the ladies and said, “I’ve not heard about anyone gossiping about me and if they are, I don’t want to hear about it!”

They laughed and one lady started to kid me. 🙂

Truly, if the pastor and his wife are being talked about in an unkind way, the people doing the talking may want to be sure of their facts. I told the ladies that “If the pastor’s wife is being gossiped about, that can cause division in the church.”

We reminded ourselves that God hates gossip, it is akin to murder. Young people today have killed themselves after being harassed on social media sites, so in those cases, gossip literally caused such distress it turned into murder from despair. “Dear God, help our young people to feel valued and to trust in You.”

Consider the servant of Saul, the future King David, a man after God’s own heart. David was being stalked by Saul and his warriors so Saul could kill him. David never took revenge or killed his enemy. He said, “Who am I to kill God’s anointed?”

David wanted to be right with God. He trusted God to work things out in the way God wanted them to go. In the New American Standard Bible it says in Hebrews 10: 30-31, “For we know Him who said, ‘VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY.’ And again, ‘THE LORD WILL JUDGE HIS PEOPLE.’ It is a terrible thing to fall into the hands of the living God.”

When I’ve been really upset with someone, it helps to think that maybe I don’t know where they’re coming from. What caused that person to slander my name? It hurts, but later I wonder, did I offend them in a way that I need to apologize?

Ultimately, my life is in God’s hands. I can’t make someone be kind and I have no control over those who choose to be cruel. I can only choose my own reactions. If someone decides to gossip and slander me it usually comes back to my attention. Then I deal with it, hopefully with tact and God’s wisdom. I take it to heart not to let the sun go down on my wrath.

When I don’t forgive, I feel lousy physically, emotionally and spiritually. So I’m all for forgiveness, even if it’s not always easy. God bless!

New York State has had such a mild winter, that as it’s gotten colder it seems harder to take. Being spoiled makes the cold seem cruel. Our “normal” came roaring into place today as my husband and I drove to our destination.

One thing great about being used to driving in snowy conditions: slowing down, and anticipating other drivers mistakes and giving them lots of room comes naturally.

(photo from boston.com)

We packed boots because we heard the snow would be heavier later in the day. I put some food in the car. I’ve been hearing about people being stranded in their cars due to the white stuff overfilling roads. I rarely do that, but I decided it wouldn’t hurt.

Even for such a short trip, I took precautions. Getting more careful as I age, I’ve noticed. 🙂

I’m hoping and many people are praying that my daughter’s winter wedding won’t keep guests away due to the weather. Friends and family keep extending kindnesses to my daughter and her fiance’. I even received a blessing this week. I was asked to provide a large dish of macaroni and cheese for the reception and I began fretting. How will I cook this, where will I store it? I started buying the ingredients a little at a time. Then a lady who used to attend our church offered to cook and store the food because she’s a caregiver for her husband and doesn’t leave the house much.”It’ll give me something to do.”

When my husband told me, I felt tension lift that I didn’t even realize weighed my body and my spirits down. I don’t know if I let out an ecstatic whoop or twirled like a kid, but my husband told people, “You should have seen her face. Happy? Delirious.”

Well, he probably wouldn’t use the word delirious, but that was the intent. And one thing great about living in New York State when the climate is behaving – we can store food outside and it’ll be refrigerated or frozen depending just how cold it gets in the winter. She said if need be, she’ll put it in her back yard under some metal container so the animals don’t get to it, all wrapped up.

God is so good to me at times I could cry. I’ve hit bumps in the road of life, but I’ve had so many answers to prayer, I believe I could write a thick book detailing them.

In the book of James, it says we have not because we ask not or because we ask amiss to spend it on our lusts – so God says, “No,” is what I think it means. I don’t remember praying about the macaroni dish, I think I was too busy wondering how I was going to manage. Sometimes God blesses because He can and He knows what we need; and I am so grateful. How has God met your need? Would you like to brag on Him? 🙂