Can you try a bit harder, please? This would be a half-smile-raising Facebook status update, but it's just not enough for a site that's supposed to be for people who are already half-good at writing funny news stories.

I genuinely wish you well, but maybe try posting your subs on Facebook first, and if your friends all laugh at them, then try them here.

It would be a real shame for the few excellent submissions here to be drowned by people half-heartedly trying stuff out without really thinking about it, so please take the editor's advice and leave your stuff to ferment for a few days before posting just the very best.