FtL S02E05 – Wheel of Time: Winter Dragon

Posted on May 8, 2015

A madman kills his own family (off screen) and then kills himself (off screen) by exploding into a volcano (off screen). From Robert Jordan’s expansive Wheel of Time Universe (Off screen).

In further proof that The Consumption will watch anything that Billy Zane puts his name to, we travel this week to the vast fantasy world of Robert Jordan’s 14-volume Wheel of Time series. Or, rather, one house in the vast fantasy world of Robert Jordan’s 14-volume Wheel of Time series. Or one smoke filled room in one house in the vast fantasy world of Robert Jordan’s 14-volume Wheel of Time.

It’s the story of one man’s desperate search for his wife and family, which ends in anticlimax when it turns out he’s just playing hide and seek. Or tragedy when you consider that he’s hallucinating and murdered them days ago.

Either way, we’d watch paint dry if the paint was played by Billy Zane. He could do it too. He’s got the range.

For every tv show that airs, there are dozens more that don’t. Their pilot episodes are usually cast aside never to be seen. But now, The Consumption are reaching deep into television history to bring you their thoughts on the TV shows that never were.

They’re pretty much all terrible.

This is Failure to Launch.

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