Obits always say the person was wonderful. This guy was unwonderful. While he was breathing she wouldn’t even speak to him. Now that he’s not breathing she wouldn’t even speak about him.

My friend Liza told me, “He’s an a - - hole.”

I first heard about him the summer before their wedding. Things were slow for her professionally. On my terrace, rehearsing for a maybe concert, she told me this man — who wore more mascara than I did — promised to juice up her career.

I gave the bride her something blue — a garter. I was a bridesmaid with Janet Leigh, who repeatedly requested Vaseline for her dry lips; Mia Farrow, who at rehearsal kept reading the novel “Abandonment”; Freda Payne, who said: “An usher told me to enter ‘stage right.’ Stage right? This is a church!” Jill St. John: “It’s the only wedding with a green room.” And Gina Lollobrigida’s gargantuan wig blocked out Robert Wagner.

Pew-to-pew sables, chinchillas and jewels, it outglitzed the union of Charles and Diana — and you know what happened to that.

A few of the groom’s prescriptions and medications later, the bloom was off — as was the marriage. Gest wasn’t running hot and he sued her. His claim? She hit him, she abused him — for about $10 million worth.

Stand-up guy

Tracy Morgan, doing his comedy shtick June 2, 3, 4 at Carolines, will talk of his near-death collision . . . Hillary gets around. Even to an upstate Seneca Falls luncheonette. Her note to me includes: “Women in public life need to stand up for each other in the face of unfair and sexist attacks — and I’ve certainly received my fair share of those!”

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Liev Schreiber grabbed Alan Rickman’s part in the latest, latest, latest “Les Liaisons Dangereuses,” which we’ve had again, again, again. It’s the Français version of “Fiddler on the Roof” . . . Everything new is old. Matthew Warchus, the Old Vic’s new guy, is mounting the musical “Groundhog Day.” The 1993 film starred Bill Murray. Neil Patrick Harris was offered this Punxsutawney version. Maybe because de Blasio dropped the rodent, I hear he may drop it.