I’m not the kind of mum who plans out daily activities – but that’s OK

The other day I was reading a piece by a Mum who doesn’t actively play with her kids. She is always there if they need her and keeps them safe, but she does jobs around the house/runs her business whilst her little ones occupy themselves and she thinks they are all the better for it.

I mention this woman because she helped lift some of my own nagging parental guilt that I don’t do enough to stimulate my two little ones.

There are some mothers (my sister in law is one of them) who are super organised and plan each day to a T. They do baking, arts and crafts, practise phonics, have music time. The children are constantly stimulated and challenged.

I am not that mother. I am a far more disorganised, chaotic type of Mum. I play with the kids loads but it is all very ad hoc. We do a lot of imagination games and running around the garden. Art time is not planned in advance and often involves a big bit of paper on the floor and crayons/felt tips strewn all over the place. I don’t tell Poppy what to draw, she just goes for it. We read lots of books but it’s for fun not to challenge her academically.

I often ask myself if I’m being lazy, should I be planning our home time better? Should I be preparing her for school by challenging her, but then I remind myself I’m not a trained teacher, I am a Mum. A busy mum with two children, trying to do my best by everyone.

Poppy goes to nursery twice a week and as far as I’m concerned, they can deal with the structured learning. In my opinion, home time is for laughter, chaos and hopefully fun. Oh and it is also sometimes for boredom because that’s life. I am not a walking, talking entertainment machine. I’m a human doing my best!

As mothers we shouldn’t feel we are failures because we don’t do as many activities as the other mums. Oh and that includes dance classes, drama classes and all the other expensive weekly affairs we often feel forced into doing. It is our job to love our children and guide them through life in the best way that we can. Who cares if they can’t read by the time they go to school? I’d much rather mine are kind, polite and know how loved they are.

So fellow mums who don’t plan everything out or do flash cards every day – don’t worry, you’re not alone. (And I’m sure that your children will be just fine.)

Can you relate to Nicola, or are you more of a planned activity kind of parent?

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I think ad hoc is actually way better than planned. What if someone’s feeling under the weather? How does a toilet accident affect the schedule? What if you planned quiet activities, but your kid’s particularly hyper that day? Going with the flow just feels much more relaxing for everyone 🙂

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