He continues excel in this pursuit, most recently by posing for the June issue of Attitude in nothing more than a cardigan, underwear, and abs. At first glance, the brain thinks: Hot damn! Longbottom? Neville Hotbottom is more like it.

But then visions of his dopey little-kid face start to emerge. The desire to lick his adult-man abs is replaced by memories of his love of Herbology. The burn of lust is replaced by searing shame. Even J.K. Rowling felt uncomfortable: