On feeling unloved

There is this need of being loved. We want others to take notice of us. Period. Is that so bad?

Well not at all. Especially during our childhood, we need to feel that we are welcomed to this world. For several reasons, that is not always possible. And this is how life is. We might be orphans. Our parents possibly had marital problems. Or our mother could be going through post-natal depression or had a break-down. She might not even be fit for having children and yet somehow she did.

Whatever the situation, we arrive here, now, today, and we are still feeling unloved. And this is perpetuated as if for some reason we continue to feel the same even if the situation has changed. Other people coming in, new experiences coming and going but still we don’t feel the difference.

What’s wrong with this picture of feeling unloved?

You want to be loved, right? Is it other people’s fault? How come that this has not come still in your life? Can it be that you are so unlovable that nobody wants to love you? I seriously doubt that, but don’t take my word. Do you push people away in some unrecognizable way to you? Could that be an issue?

Reasons and understanding the core issue

There are many reasons for this feeling of being unloved and feeling unwanted. One is that we have come to know ourselves through this lens. If we were to change glasses, we would have serious problems recognising ourselves. This has become a part of our identity. We don’t just give up our identity. Who would we be if we were suddenly loved for who we are?

But most importantly, I think not feeling loved is a reminder of the relationship we have with ourselves.