Some guy hit my fender and I said "be fruitful and multiply" but not in those words.

Woody Allen```````````````

Top Signs You Have A Drinking Problem

1 You lose arguments with inanimateobjects.

2 You have to hold onto the lawn to keepfrom falling off the earth

3 Job interfering with your drinking.

4 Your doctor finds traces of blood inyour alcohol stream.

5 Career won't progress beyond Senatorfrom Massachusettes.

6 The back of your head keeps getting hitby the toilet seat.

7 Sincerely believe alcohol to be theelusive 5th food group.

8 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case -coincidence?? - I think not!

9 Two hands and just one mouth... - nowTHAT'S a drinking problem!

10 "Norm!" is what they say when youenter the bar.

11 When you can focus better with one eyeclosed

12 The parking lot seems to have movedwhile you were in the bar

13 Every woman you see has an exact twin.

14 You wake up to find Windows 95installed on your machine.

15 If you keep asking your wife "whereare the kids?", but you don't really havea wife and you're talking to therefridgerator.

16 You fall off the floor.

17 You discover in the morning liquidcleaning supplies have disappeared.

18 Your twin sons are named Barley andHops.

19 Had "Spuds McKenzie" tattoo removed,replaced it with "Red Dog."

20 Hey, 5 beers has just as many caloriesas a burger, screw dinner!

21 Beer: it's not just for breakfastanymore.

22 The glass keeps missing your mouth.

23 Bill Clinton starts to make sense.

24 When you go to donate blood and theyask what proof?

25 Vampires get woozy after biting you.

26 The only drinking problem is nothaving a drink right now.

27 At AA meeting you begin: "Hi, my nameis... uh..."

28 Your idea of cutting back is lessseltzer.

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An elderly couple was attending church services. About halfway through she leans over and says, "I just had a silent f art .. what do you think I should do?"

He replies "Put a new battery in your hearing aid!"

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A guy walks into a bar, sits down and says to the bartender, Quick pour me twelve drinks.

So the bartender pours him twelve shots and the guy starts shooting them back really fast, one after another. The bartender says to the guy, Boy you are drinking those drinks really fast.

The guys says, Well, you would be drinking really fast too if you had what I've got.

The bartender says, What've you got?

As he gulps the last drink, the guy says, 75 cents.

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Tried in a hostile town, a guy didn't think he had a chance of getting off a murder charge, so shortly before the jury retired he bribed one of the jurors to find him guilty of the lesser crime of manslaughter.

The jury was out for over three days before eventually returning a verdict of manslaughter. The relieved defendant collared the bribed juror and said: "Thanks. How ever did you manage it?"

During Marine Basic Training Camp a Captain received information that the mother of one of the recruits had passed away. The Captain calls Sergeant Black into his office and tells him, "When you line up the troops this morning you need to inform Private Jones that his mother died."

"Yes Sir!" says Black. That morning as the men were lined up Black bellows out, "Hup, hey, ho, ho. Jones your mother died." Jones falls over with a heart attack.

A month later the Captain calls Black into his office and says, "Black, you need to tell Private Smith his mother died. But this time use some tact. I don't want to lose another good recruit.

"Yes Sir!" Black answers.

This time when the men are lined up Black yells out, "Okay. All you men with living mothers take one step forward - NOT SO FAST, SMITH!"

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Good morning ever boomie.

I was absolutely right. Monday was a great day............as Monday's go.

It was a cool day, especially in the morning. We only got up to 64 degrees.

I took the dogs to the park early, and then went to Walmart for goods.

Yes the Cowboys won yesterday so I'm still basking in the afterglow of that.

They won again last night, and they won again this afternoon.....in instant replay.

Speaking of instant replays, hoping your Tuesday is as good as my Monday was.

Have a happy day everyone.

joe

Edited by gymcandy1 (11/06/1708:00 PM)

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There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.

Good Morning Joe, Ana, and everyone. Our temperature is 42 degrees this morning but we are going to get as cold as you Ana by the end of the week! Coffee , tea and hot chocolate are ready.Wishing you all a Happy Day!

Good morning everyone, have a Great Tuesday. Ana, I'll trade our 85. Lunch and Netflix with a friend, Karaoke, Dinner, and Dancing tonight at 8-8 Panda. Danish, Eggs, Grits, Hash Browns, BB Pancakes, and French Toast in the NC.

Dentist called last night. They had another cancellation so I have to go in today instead of next Monday for the (I hope) final work on that offending tooth. Ugh. Hate getting up early, but getting it done is my priority. Will ruin my entire daily routine. At least the day is a nice cool morning followed by a warm afternoon and it's lovely.

We are sharing Connie's 80's though there is promise of 70's by week's end. I'm heading out to walk Keoki at the park. Son is off today so boys will be here for a while after school.

Ana, I would not mind 29 at night as long as it warmed up swiftly during the day. I would not like 29 all day though...cold is just as tough on my asthma as heat and humidity is.

Pups are a mixed bag. We do a lot of tap-dancing to get Keoki and Sagan to eat these days, but so far, they are. Keoki-man is getting obviously weaker but can still make a half-mile at the park. This stage of their life is hard on all of us. Thanks for asking. How are yours?

Sorta. Hopefully today will end it for you!

Joe, I was happy for you when I heard the Cowboys won.

Gerry,

Gail, hope whatever is on the agenda is fun.

Connie, your day sounds fun. Enjoy!

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"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." -Roger Caras