So apparently Paris Jackson used to be besties with this girl named Spencer Malnik, until apparently Paris got it in her head that Spencer was telling her secrets to the public. So she did the only logical thing—she told all 800,000 of her Twitter followers about it. Of course, they promptly went bananas. Paris's tweet:

lol so i guess spencer malnik gave out a fake number saying it was mine for followers on instagram. liar. i'm never trusting spencer again......

Aaaaaaaaand a few of her vigilante fans tweeting at Spencer:

fucking whore go the fuck off bitch

You dress like a slut. Dress like a 14 year old, not a 24 year old. Stupid cunt.

Today in bahahahaahahah, Twilight director Bill Condon talks about being haunted on-set by a freakish golem of his own creation:

Because director Bill Condon had to show Renesmee, who is half vampire and half human, maturing at a rapid rate, he tried a few different approaches. One idea that didn't work was a nearly three-foot-tall Renesmee doll (or "that robot baby" as Robert Pattinson calls it) that quickly got dubbed, Chuckesmee.

"Chuckesmee was a giant misfire on all fronts," Condon says. "Truly, it was one of the most grotesque things I've ever seen. It was a horror show! There was one shot where I call, ‘Cut!' and suddenly she turns her head and mechanically stares right into the camera. It was incredibly disturbing."

Also incredibly disturbing: the fact that I just had the time of my life reading a behind-the-scenes Twilight anecdote. [EW]

The Olympic closing ceremonies line-up has finally been confirmed, and will feature a performance by nouveau boy-band superstars Wand Erection. Rounding out the bill will be the Spice Girls, Queen featuring Brian May, the Pet Shop Boys, and George Michael—or, as they're known collectively among Wand Erection fans, The Who? Oh, and the actual Who will also be there. [E!]

Here's Oprah putting on her wisdom-face and talking about how her interview with Rihanna surprised her:

I thought she was going to be kind of a bad-ass, kind of a hard-edged rocker pop-woman. Nothing could have been farther from the truth...She was thoughtful, she was very emotional, she was vulnerable, she pushes the edge...I was surprised that she's such a good driver.

Hella tantalizing, y'all. If I were the kind of person with enough of my shit together to remember to watch a scheduled TV program, I would totally watch this. [ONTD]

Here's Khloe Kardashian "dishing" on her newborn niece, Penelope Scotland Disick. Dude. IT'S A BABY. What could the "dish" possibly be? By definition it hasn't done shit but shit. (If you don't feel like watching the video, the "dish" is that it sat on a bed.) [E!]

Sienna Miller went outside with her new baybay and a stroller that definitely cost more than my car. [People]

Apparently our nation is such a bunch of insensitive dicks that the Little People of America felt the need to release a statement clarifying, "We are PEOPLE, not bowling balls." [TMZ]

Maybe I'm just super deep and stuff (prolly), but I just cannot find it in me to get over Ryan Lochte's garbage personality and successfully objectify his body. Dude kills attractiveness itself for like a five-mile radius around his dong. [Radar]

Tori Spelling is proud to show off her baby bump. (Now, I say this not in a shamey way but in a genuinely bewildered way—do Tori and Dean have like 75 babies at this point? The woman is never not pregnant. Also, did anyone else watch Tori & Dean: Inn Love? Because that shit won me over for life.) [Extra]

"War Robert Pattinson Hochzeitsgast?!?!!?!?" I DON'T KNOW, ARTICLE IN GERMAN FOR NO REASON. YOU TELL ME. [German-E!]

There's something under Kate Hudson's makeup, and it looks like a face!!!!! [Us]

"I'm now a legend. I'm also the greatest athlete to live." - Usain Bolt [TMZ]

Hey, does anybody know what Stacy Kiebler's favorite snack is? "I make sure to have three meals throughout the day with two snacks in between. I keep snacks on hand to keep my energy up. You can usually find alkaline water, raw nuts and my favorite bite-sized snack, New York Style Mini Bagel Crisps, in my carry-on bag. I keep New York Style Mini Bagel Crisps on hand for whenever I need to curb cravings. They're the perfect snack, since they have 50% less fat and 18% fewer calories than the leading potato chip." [ShowbizSpy]