Social marketingYou have a cow.You show some friends a clip of a man being hit in the crotch.They tell their friends who pay money to come and look at your cow.

Social mediaYou have a cow.You tell your friends.People start listening to what you have to say.

Affiliate marketingYour neighbor has a cow.You show a film clip of a man being hit in the crotch.You charge people to go see your neighbor's cow.

TrafficYou have a cow.You put it on the side of the road.People stop to look at it.

SpamYou have a cow.You put it in the middle of the road, stopping traffic.A few morons buy some viagra from you, making the initiative profitable.SEOYou have a cow.You put up a road sign with "Cow" in the title.Passers by stop to look at your cow; you charge them for parking and sell them lemonade.

ContentYou have a cow.You write a novel about it.A pig farmer copies your novel, paraphrases and publishes it as his own.

PageRankYou and your neighbor each have a cow.You both put signs up to advertise your cows.You pay someone to move your sign directly in front of the neighbor's in the middle of the night.

AdvertisingYou have a cow.People pay you to paint their logos onto your cow.Your cow looks like a billboard.

ROI (Return On Investment)You have a cow.You pay $50 to dye it pink.People flock to buy tickets to see your cow; you earn $1000.

ConversionYou have a cow.You refurbish the barn.More people pay to look at the cow.

RealityYou have a cow.No one cares.

If you still don't understand online marketing... Don't have a cow, man.