A look, the flicker of a tongue on the lips, the slight turn of a head, the curve of a neck, the way the person walks, the person’s smell, their laugh, their smile. All of these things, some of these things, and more.

I find men who have a deep-down assurance and confidence about themselves are sexy.

You can always tell when someone is nervous about how they’re coming off, ergo, aren’t paying any attention to other people or what’s going on around them. I’ve behaved that way, and that’s not cool. I’m sure that drives decent men away from me. I’m working on it.

@drClaw I have no idea idea why I had to watch that. weak
They have to be confident but never cocky. Their way of speaking, walking, composure, moving has to be perfect. Eyes are stunning. Lips, style, personality. You want to feel seduced, feel important but at the same time, feel totally ravaged and like a plaything when you look at him. He has to be kind, but not too kind ;-) And maybe I’m picky but when I think a man is sexy, his hands and overall body stature has to be a certain way. Has to have acceptable teeth, hair, and has to smell great. Really personality is the biggest thing with me. And a stance in music and art. If the don’t have opinions to back their shit up and have the capability of an intelligent conversation, then I’m instantly turned off. Also, he has to feel dangerous in some sense. That part is important. I’m so fucking picky.

I’m not sure I would take the time to parse it out. I know it when I see/hear/feel it. I can tell by how my eyes have trouble pulling themselves away, and by how I immediately start fantasizing about how we could get together. I’m not at all sure it’s something you can try to be. It’s an individual thing. You can try to fit a stereotype or a caricature of sexiness, but that just gives you a temporary advantage. If you only want to get laid, then I guess it’s ok. But if you really want someone, you gotta be sexy beneath the surface, which is something that is not always (or maybe even often) correlated with surface sexiness.

sexy is a personality trait, not a physical aspect. I can’t give you a definitive description as to what sexy is, but I know it when I see it. And lately, I’ve seen a lot of truck drivers that exude sexy like maple trees exude sap in the Spring. Mm, mm, mmmm, mm mm. :-)

On the most basic level, sexy is about physical attractiveness, but I also know that I find people sexier once I know their personality as well. Ideally, sexy is a combination of pure physical lust and attractive personality traits. There are also people I don’t find very attractive, but there is something about the way they are, the way they carry or present themselves, they way they act, that overshadows their physical shortcomings.

Oh it’s all, to me, about the swagger backed up by intelligence, a certain look in the eye, a grip of my neck, aggression and spontaneity…the person I find sexy is most likely androgynous, with curves and sharp features simultaneously…someone who worships me but is my equal, if that makes any sense…someone talented and passionate…

cowboys. cowboys are the definition of sexy. ;) to each person sexy is something different, though. most men find breasts sexy. some men find eyes or smile sexy. most women find muscles sexy. some women find a sense of humor sexy. i just think it’s your own personal preference as to how you want to define sexy.

me…lol just kidding just kidding. I’m not really that full of myself. I don’t think i’m really answering the question, but someone shouldn’t be based on how sexy they are, but on their personality and stuff like that

@NathanESP Sexy is totally relative. What one person deems sexy may be trashy by another’s standards, and vice versa. Personally, I don’t have a definition of sexy. It’s more of a When-I-See-It-I-Know-It kind of thing. Depending on the man, it could range from looks to personality to cologne to facial hair, or even something as simple as how he grazes my elbow when passing me in a hallway or something. If you don’t “get” sexy, you may be looking at the wrong sex, honey. When you feel it, you’ll feel it, and you’ll know it; you won’t have to Fluther to be sure (though we all appreciate your thoughtful question and opportunity to give our opinions!). Good luck! And, P.S., I am straight but I find many many women incredibly sexy and I can’t quite say why. It’s just a feeling and it’s perfectly OK!

For women, I like really feminine women… I like big lips, small waists, big boobs, curvy hips and butt…. someone like the body of Beyonce, Kim Kardashian, and Salma Hayek. Soft, feminine. Like bombshells.