"Christ, what an asshole." Before yesterday afternoon I had some familiarity with this phrase (I become easily enraged by drivers who tailgate while texting). However before yesterday I was unaware that this phrase has a place in the history of comics. It was offered up by Charles Lavoie as the Universal Solution to all future New Yorker caption contests.

Here is an example of the phrase in action taken from Cory Doctorow's story on Boing Boing.net

As you would expect potential rival phrases have arisen. A New Yorker article posted by Robert Mankoff listed some great examples (see below). To read the full New Yorker article and see all the caption suggestions, or more excitingly to post your own suggestions, click here!

Farley Katz:“Who farted?”

Kim Warp:“I don’t get this cartoon, and I’m in it.”

Emily Flake:"My being riddled with tumors, this seems insignificant."

Now here is where I need some help!

A new and exciting twist to the Universal Caption came to my attention when an excellent friend (thank you to Anne Howe) linked me to a website by Robert Sinclair. He posited that the phrase could move well beyond the New Yorker comics and could be inserted into all comics. His website posts examples from a hillarious range of comic sub-genres. From the superhero single issue (Batman) to the weekly online comic (XKCD) to my personal nostalgic favorite the fantasy graphic novel (Elfquest)!

Of course I wanted to try it instantly. I settled on one of my most beloved comic artists, Alison Bechdel. Her weekly strip "Dykes to Watch Out For" ran from the the 1980's to 2008 and is tons of fun. Most of her characters actually read the New Yorker so I thought it would be easy peasy lemon squeezy.

Yeah, not so much. I am having trouble making the phrase work. The problem, it turned out, was subtext. Her comics are full of sarcasm and wit, but also rich back-stories and nuance. Click on each excerpt for the pleasure of reading the complete and original comic.

Please help me figure out which of these options (if any) I should submit!

Option A

A teenager just called his Mom an asshole! HAHAHAHAH. That's terrible.

Option B

Who is supposed to be the asshole? Ginger the housemate? Samia the girlfriend? Sydney the evil woman's studies professor? The confusion is compounded because new readers don't know these people.

Option C

Is it ok to get a man deported and call him an asshole just because he hugged your girlfriend? ...Debatable.

Option D

I thought I had a winner with Sydney the evil woman's studies professor, because she is occaionally an unrepentant asshole. She is in fact cheating on the main character and getting caught in this comic. However, it is hard to pin down who her father is calling an asshole. Plus he has dementia, which is kind of a bummer.

Option E

Is it clear that Sydney is trying to weasel her way into tenure during a breast cancer walk? Because if so, she is clearly a magnificent asshole.

Cast your ballot in the comments section below (or on Facebook) and I will submit the option with the most votes/ most compelling argument.