1. Over-Stuffed Purse MessYour little bag is so stuffed full of papers and pouches and bits and pieces that everything is starting to fuse together like layers of sedimentary rock and you have to clamp the whole thing between your thighs just to get it zipped up.

What "Over-Stuffed Purse Mess" Says About YouYou're a make-it-work kind of girl and proud of it. You're not going to toss your favorite bag to the side just because it's a little cramped. And misshapen. And the seams are stretched so tight they look like they could blow at any second. You love your mini bag! It's from your favorite designer and you know you probably should have bought the next size up, but it was twice as expensive and you're totally making this one work. Who cares if the woman who sold it to you said it was really more of a makeup bag than a purse? What does she know!

2. Dumpster Purse MessReaching into your bag is like sending your hand dumpster diving — digging through old receipts, gum wrappers, and long-forgotten notes scribbled on scraps of old birthday card envelopes. More often than not, your wallet/makeup bag/cell phone emerges in a cloud of dust and grime with at least one piece of debris still clinging to it, which you try surreptitiously to clean off before anyone notices.

strong>What "Dumpster Purse Mess" Says About YouIt's not that you want your purse to pull double-duty as a portable garbage bin, it's just that there never seems to be a garbage can around when you need one and you're not some scum-of-the-earth litter-bugging hooligan. You were raised better than that. If you think about it, you're sort of like an environmental crusader, proudly toting your garbage to and fro, leaving no trace of your comings and goings. You're totally going to sign up for wind energy the next time you pay your utility bill.

3. Always-Prepared Purse MessAnything and everything you or anyone you are with could ever possibly need can be found in your bag. And if, by some strange confluence of events, you don't have it, you've probably got something pretty close that you can MacGyver into whatever is wanted.

What "Always-Prepared Purse Mess" Says About YouYou're a mom. Even if you're not an actual mom, you're totally the mom of your friend group — always ready with a pen or tissue or mini tip calculator. Sometimes you act annoyed that people are always asking you for things and just assume you will have whatever it is that they need, but you secretly love it. Sure, you're starting to suffer from debilitating back pain from lugging all that weight around on one shoulder, but this is the payoff for all those years spent in the Girl Scouts.

4. Makeup-Explosion Purse MessAt this point so many compacts, blush brushes, and uncapped lip gloss tubes have run ramshod through your bag that now anything you put in it reemerges covered in a sticky, glittery film.

What Makeup-Explosion Purse Mess Says About YouYou're very particular about your look, but you hate being "that girl" who's always checking her makeup in front of other people. So in your rush to stow the evidence, you sometimes neglect to make sure everything is properly closed before chucking it back into your bag. It's good, though. If you ever find yourself in a blush emergency, you can just swipe your purse lining across your cheeks and you'll be good to go.

5. Pregnant Purse MessThere are no loose items in your bag, just smaller, more specialized bags, many of those containing their own, still smaller and even more specialized bags. You know that scene in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom where they're having dinner and they cut open that snake and all the little snakes come pouring out of it? That's you emptying your bag.

What Pregnant Purse Mess Says About YouYou're a type-A, everything-in-its-place kind of girl. You know all your little pouches by feel, so you don't even have to look in your bag to pull out exactly what you need. You also know which pouches are essential and which ones are optional, so you can easily edit and transfer the contents of one bag into a smaller one that better suits your outfit and mood. Essentially, you're a purse ninja.

6. Black-Hole Purse MessThings go into your purse never to be seen again. You've checked for holes in the lining, but you can't find any. And yet, somehow, you've lost three sets of keys in there. Occasionally they pop up in some other pocket, but you sure as hell didn't put them there. The only logical explanation is that your purse is a wormhole hot spot, consuming the contents of your bag and occasionally spitting them back out in random, unexpected places. You'd never admit it, but sometimes you have nightmares about falling into your purse yourself and being lost forever.

What Black-Hole Purse Mess Says About YouYou're a busy woman. You've got a lot on your plate and a lot of balls to keep in the air. Your bag is clearly working against you, but what are you going to do? It's the only thing you've found that goes with all your clothes, holds all your stuff, and doesn't make your shoulder ache. One day you'll end this crazy dance, but not today. You've got a to-do list a mile long that you've got to get through first. Wait a second! Where's the list? You were literally JUST holding it!

7. No-Mess Purse MessThe inside of your bag is so neat and tidy, it looks as if it's been staged for a photo shoot or museum exhibition.

What No-Mess Purse Mess Say About YouYou're not a real person. At best, you're an idea of a person from a 1950s vacuum cleaner ad. That or the bag in question is brand new and you're still doing that thing where you try to make this time, this bag, different. No more purse mess for you! You're a strong, professional woman. You will no longer be defined by the mess in your purse! You're breaking the cycle, goddamn it! Wait. Is that a pen mark on the lining already? Oh, fuck it!