Real Talk: How Do Men Feel About Your Weight?

With Real Talk, we ask a bunch of random men the same set of questions, hoping to get a variety of responses. As always (and this is important) we feel compelled to say we’re not rounding up male opinions in the hopes that you’ll average them out and try to live your life according to that average, we do it because we find it interesting. Nothing more, nothing less.

This time, we asked them what importance they placed on a woman’s weight. For example: does it matter to them if a woman is a little overweight/underweight? If their girlfriends gain in a relationship, does it bother them? Is there a certain body type they prefer? If so, how much does it dictate their decisions in seeing someone? Can a woman’s weight affect their overall happiness in a relationship?

Be warned. This one gets a little heated.

[Ed. Note: For the slides, we've used celebrated female nudes throughout art history. I'm tagging this post NSFW because those Egon Schiele's can be pretty racy, but really, nothing here is unsafe for your work unless you work for John David Ashcroft]

is mike single? ’cause swoon: “We’re men — we’re in charge of a lot of shit and are
constantly engaging in evil. True. Yawn. But you don’t worry about my attitudes on securities fraud. You don’t stress out about my feelings on serial murder or drone strikes against civilians or crooked car mechanics. I don’t do that shit.”

Meghan Keane

Dudes are weird.

J.E.

How does a man avoid dating someone whose waist isn’t above 26 inches? I mean, I understand being attracted to thin women, but many women above that cutline are still, uh, REALLY THIN! Not to be all humblebragging but my waist is 26 inches, I’m a size 4 (so I’m already unfuckable to that guy) and I constantly have people telling me how tiny I am. An inch on my waist probably wouldn’t change that.

Kelly

I’m not saying it’s a good rule not to date people with a waistline over 26 inches, but I don’t think 26 inches is a freakish measurement, either. My waist is 25 inches but my dress size is 8. Clearly I am too HUMONGOUS to date him, but my point is that you don’t have to be freaky small to have a waist that size.

J.E.

Also I love how this list is divided between guys who are like “Men don’t care about weight, that’s totally a lady thing!” and guys who are like “I better be able to circle my hands around your waist or my boner will die.”

This quote from Frank annoyed the hell out of me: “We have to stop being permissive of fatness. Fatness is killing kids. Skinny models don’t kill kids, eating disorders aren’t often fatal, but being an obese child is a fucking death sentence. ”

Hey Frank-you’re wrong. Eating disorders do kill and have killed quite a few women. I’m not saying you’re wrong about obesity, but at the same time, media images of skinny females (or males for that matter) definitely impact children and eating disorders can frequently be deadly. Go work in an eating disorders clinic (I have) and see what it’s really like, and how many patients relapse, and pass away, before you make such an inaccurate comment.

Gaming Cinema

hey by the way…some children think there fat so they starve them selves to death
There for there unhealthy but skinny theres a limit to being to skinny to the point where you could die but there’s also being to over weight.

porkchop

Sometimes these “real talk” articles make me feel so sad for beautiful women, what with all these douchecopters hovering around them 24/7.

Ashley Cardiff

It’s like the Apocalypse Now of assholes.

Jamie

This just goes to show that some men’s ideas about weight and body type are just as fucked up as many women’s. Kudos to the sane ones among them, and a big FUCK YOU to the guy who thinks anorexia is totally awesome and non-lethal.

andrea dunlop

re: Frank– I’m not even going to bother addressing the rest of that comment but since when is our culture permissive of fatness? Last time I checked, weight is something that people who would never discriminate on the basis of something like race or even gender still feel completely justified in being discriminatory about because they see it as a choice.

It seems to me that people (women especially) who are overweight are made to feel ashamed on a pretty regular basis so where you got the idea that our culture is permissive or even accepting of fat is beyond me. I actually feel like the intense fat-phobia in our culture probably contributes to obesity but that’s another discussion for another time.

Dove

Hey Diego –

I go to the gym for 1 – 1 1/2 hrs 6 times a week. I do 45-60 min of cardio, and play A level co-ed soccer. I’m a size 10. One of my best friends can’t run 3 blocks and eats nothing but cheese, and is a size 2. One of us is healthy, and one is skinny. So don’t couch your bs in health.

Lauren

Thank you.

darious

Dude, that is true as gold. My dad is super skinny and has a fast metablism, and be still got type 2 diabetes. Like I am over weight and surprisingly I am healthy, no high blood sugar or pressure, and normal cholesterol levels. With that, I get hit on a lot. With that I have a cousin who is like huge, but she gets dates like crazy. But she also has killer confidence. So I think that body types plays a small role, but I really just think its your attitude thats most important. No one wants an asshole, I dont care how in shape they are, or their hip ratio and all that jazz. I rather be a fat kind hearted person then a skinny jerk with ppl hating me.

With that beauty standards change over time. So lose weight for your health and not to attract a guy. It should be about you.

Megan

I don’t think it’s douchey to say that thin–even model-thin–is your type. Would we judge someone who said that bigger girls were his type? Nope, we’d celebrate him for liking a more “normal” body type. So a guy is a douche if he likes thin girls, but awesome if he likes heavier people? There’s a double standard. If a guy admits to liking thin girls, what the heck is wrong with it? We’re all wired differently. A girl who says she likes a guy with abs, or nice arms, isn’t even gonna get questioned.

Now, if this guy says that he needs you to maintain that weight obsessively, or will only be attracted to you if you’re a size 2, I get that–that’s a douchebag attitude. That’s not healthy. But I do think that looks do form a part of what you’re attracted to. As partners, you should establish what you can expect out of each other, looks-wise. I admit–if my husband quit exercising, drank more soda, and got a potbelly, I’d be unhappy. I want him to be healthy, but I also know that I’m not attracted to potbellies. My idea is that I take care of myself for me, and because I know my husband is attracted to what I am. I know I’m going to change in body shape, and so is he, but we expect each other to be healthy and take care of ourselves.

I also get what Frank is saying. He never attacked eating disorders as NOT deadly. He understands that; he’s saying (very truly) that obesity in America is a big problem. He knows there’s a double standard: We’re supposed to love every shape and celebrate all bodies, BUT a lot of those bodies aren’t healthy. How do you celebrate a body shape–male or female–that leads to heart disease, diabetes, etc.? It’s not a bad thing to realize the double standard. He could have said it a lot better, but I get his point.

porkchop

I totally agree that everyone is entitled to their opinion. What’s weird though, is if you were to draw a venn diagram with men who are interesting and smart a loyal in one circle, and guys who like skinny girls with big tits “sorry ladies I know that’s superficial but I like what I like” in another circle, those two circles would BARELY overlap. If at all. So while hot girls get hit on way more, the quality of guy goes straight into the toilet.

Mary

Several people have said that it’s the attitude towards overweight people, basically saying they are worthless and have no value in life because they are overweight. Everyone has their preferences of what they are attracted to and there is nothing wrong with wanting a skinny person or an overweight person, short, tall, whatever, but attacking someone’s character, calling them worthless, a bad person, etc., because they are overweight, makes you an ass. I would love to know how someone who holds a job AND works out two whole hours every single day, has the time contribute anything worthwhile to society. Letting the public see your skinny body, doesn’t count. To those who work out, good for you, but it doesn’t make you a good person. I work out too, trying to get back into shape and when I do, I pray to God that people don’t judge me and think I am like the judgmental asshats on here, because I love people for their hearts not how much excess body fat they have.

Heidi

Frank sounds a lot like my internal monologue before I finally accepted I had an eating disorder and started on the road to recovery.

Baker Girl

Hedi congrats on your recovery!!!! I wish you the best of luck for you and hope you are healthy and happy :)

Dove

Also, Frank is very strange for thinking you’re either skinny or so obese you’ll get type II diabetes. You can be “overweight” (BMI-wise) and have fat on you without running any particular health risks.

Not to mention the fact that multiple studies have shown that people who have slightly above ideal BMIs live longer and healthier lives than people with average or below average BMIs. AND BMI isn’t even a great indicator of size/fat!

Lauren

This comment from Egon:

“I think every guy kind of wants a naturally thin girl that will eat and eat with them but won’t gain weight. That’s every dude’s ideal. They all want women who eat cheeseburgers but don’t look like they eat cheeseburgers. I’d put money on that.”

I’m pretty sure all women want to BE that girl too. I’d also put money on that.

Dahlia

I love how the men’s names match up to the names of the men who created the artwork above each real talk. Very cool.

Liana

Um, can you make this a dating service?

ashmoth

We’ve all been to Maine, but very few people really like to live there, right?

That is freaking hilarious! I am a woman who does NOT go to Maine, if you know what I mean. Fat guys are gross; just assume men feel the same way about the females. Not perfect, but not Canada – hahahaahahaaaaaaa!

Unsustainable

Dear Mostly Male But No Small Percentage of Female People of the Internet Who Put Stock Into This Stuff –

Being skinny doesn’t make you a better person.* It doesn’t mean you’re funnier, smarter, or better at Scrabble. It doesn’t mean you’re better at having or raising children, or that you’re more giving, altruistic, or loving. It doesn’t mean you’re more interesting. Being skinny doesn’t mean you’re a better conversationalist, it doesn’t mean you’d live longer post-apocalypse, or during a zombie outbreak (running fast doesn’t help, apparently). Being thin doesn’t mean you give better head, or have better orgasms, or cook better risotto, or have a better sense of humor. Being thin doesn’t mean you are more worthwhile than anyone else. All it means is that you are thinner than someone else. Undoubtedly, there is someone thinner than you.

Happiness in life cannot depend on what people think of physical desirability. Being valued for being thin or young is ultimately disappointing to all participants, as these are mutable traits.

Seriously, there are worse things than being fat: you could be an asshole.

* Neither does being fat, rich, young, white, etc.

Jen

Dear Unsustainable,
This is the best comment in the history of the internet. Seriously, I want to frame it or, more modernly, put it on my facebook!

Marie

I agree with Jen wholeheartedly!!

Alte

So… Frank. I’m not going to get into it too much but why does being fat make someone a bad person? They aren’t trying to make other people fat, and I’m sure most of them don’t want to be that way. Lazy, maybe, or something else, but not inherently bad. Obviously being thin didn’t make you a good person, did it?

Baker Girl

I love Remmy! ” I love sex. I love sex and eating.” As a woman with curves (an damn proud of them), but also giggly bits and cellulite I love hearing a man say he wants to ALL of you when he is in bed with you. I have never been one of those girls but its still nice to hear. I hope 1) his wife/gf/f-buddy apperciates him or 2) he gets a gf or f-buddy outta this cause he has the right idea when it comes to womens bodies.

jack

Just another man’s opinion, but as a fairly active guy, I spend time surfing, cycling, running, and swimming. So, if you’re a girl, I’m asking myself:

Can you paddle out through 8ft surf, lose your board, and swim a quarter mile back through the same 8ft surf, and then paddle back out again? Can you do that several times over the course of 4hrs and still have fun catching waves? Can you ride 20 miles on a bike at an 18-20mph pace? Can you freedive 40ft. down to a reef and spear a fish? Can you pick up your luggage and carry it instead of wheeling it around like a godamned invalid? Awesome. Let’s go do stuff. Oh wait, I forgot to ask how much you weigh because I don’t give a fuck.

To the size 10 soccer player: you are infinitely more attractive than your skinny friend, and you’re probably a lot better in bed, too, since you’re healthy and confident (which are basically the two things that make someone good in bed).

andrea dunlop

This makes a lot of sense to me as I’m very active and I feel the same way about dudes and their bodies. It’s not about the six pack, it’s about being able to keep up.

Nav

jack, your message is inspiring. since reading this a month ago, i’ve been focused on my run time and less about the number on my scale. im reminded that i admire the women who are powerful and athletic, not the waifs posed on fainting couches…
i’ve a long way to go before i’d ever be able to “freedive and spear fish”, but your words will help me get there. thanks. :)

kjon

To the person the introduced me to the word “douchecopters” – THANK YOU.

Anyway, I totally agree with most of these comments concerning the “justified” discrimination against those ranging from overweight to clinically obese. And with the ones talking about how being skinny does NOT equal healthy.

I happen to have really toned *looking*, thin arms. Doesn’t mean I can do a bunch of push-ups!

Emily

I’m a bad person because I’m fat?
I’m a bad person because I don’t fit into YOUR ideal of beauty?
I’m a bad person because I have TYPE 1 DIABETES, WHICH IS AN AUTOIMMUNE DISORDER NOT CAUSED BY BEING OVERWEIGHT?
I’m a bad person because I don’t starve myself to be skinny?
I’m a bad person because I don’t change myself to please other people.
Please explain to me why this makes sense.

MG

As if I needed more reasons to be convinced I will die alone with 34 cats. Thank you, dudes.

Leena

fuck that, do you know how many men i’ve dated that have a 3″ penis hard, why don’t we disuss that!! I’m so sick of being treated like i don’t exist because i need to lose 40lbs.

Athlete

You can have a horrible face, you can have small dick or ugly tits. That’s unfortunate. But getting fat is just your own doing. Oh some % of people have a superbly good ratio of getting energy from food. And they say it’s illness while sitting on their fat asses eating sh*t.

Being “chubby” ain’t fat. Having some jelly rolls ain’t fat. If you can jog and cycle and do pushups you ain’t fat. But if you’re still young and can’t handle the most common things that humans should easily do because of your weight then yes, you’re a fat f*ck.

Being fat says that person don’t respect their own body at all. I see that as the one of the most loathsome and common thing in humans. For most of the people it’s all about not eating that one dessert. Or walking those stairs at work and not taking the elevator. Not sitting those endless hours before TV or computer but spending a meager 2-3 h per week to go jogging or play some fun game with friends.

But no. They don’t do those things. They cry a river about those horrible skeleton models and fit people. They blame men pigs or women whores when they don’t get love because people only see their exterior. But we do see. You would rather be a slob of uselessness besides your brains than a whole human being.

“We’re all beautiful on the inside” is just a fairytale for retards. There are saints and there are rotten people and swarm of people between. I for one have no respect for fat people. Oh I can eat and drink and laugh with them. But I would never bed one or marry one. Just like I would not marry a horrible douchebag. Just like some people will loathe me because of my opinion about fat people and hate me for it. Then again I don’t preach those things around like a retard IRL.

We only have a one life. Intentionally (see what I did there?) inhibiting your ability to to enjoy life is bad. And sad. And no-one should do it. But I have no reason to tell people how to live their lives. They can be as fat as an elephants for all I care. Every person have their strange quirks and I’m fine with that. But then again fat people have no reason to presume that I would never ever want a fat blob in my bedchamber.

Am I bigot for that? Am I too harsh? Should I be ostracised because of it? I don’t care. My ideal parner has some fat and some muscles. Outside that all I care about is his/her personality. And one huge part of personality is love for your body. Love for you muscles and heart and lungs and teeth and brain. Love for your sight and hearing and taste and smell. Love for all those great feelings one can give for your partner. Fat people love their bodies like a smoker or drug addict loves their bodies. Or people who don’t wash their teeth nor skin. Or people who don’t want to educate their brains in the age of internet while having access to all information in the world. Or people who mutilate themselves. Or people who eat trash and say it’s good enough for everyone.

Have a good life and respect the only real temple in the world: your body. After that you can respect others if you wish. /rant

Mary

Slob of uselessness? What makes you useful? Your fit body? It’s people like you who are a detriment to society, people with no compassion for others, who only care about what someone looks like on the outside. You are not a better person because you say that are fit. Our attitudes make us who we are, and you, are not a good person by any standards. I hope some day you realize there is more to life than looking good (because I promise you, some day you will be old and wrinkly and soulless). Please save the crap about how many friends you have or how popular you are. If you do have friends, it’s because they don’t know the real you, or they are just like you, and who needs friends like that?

Lindsey

@ Athlete

“Just like I would not marry a horrible douchebag.”

Yeah, I could see why you wouldn’t want to marry someone like yourself.

Eileen

Eh. I don’t agree with all the opinions, but I’m glad you’ve found men who’ll answer the question truthfully – much more interesting.

Gregg T.

How fucked up. For all of the teaching that we do that “we’re all beautiful on the inside” and that “we need to look past what’s on the outside”… These guys’ perceptions are fucked up. I just want a girl that’s nice. Nice personality and whatnot. Shares my interests, can be my best friend. Why should weight determine that? Ever notice how guys like this DO find the attractive skinny girl they want and eventually lose interest either due to (oh no!) a slight weight gain or they just get bored for one jerkass reason or another.

Okay, I understand if it’s a health concern. Fine. But gaining a couple pounds? HAPPENS TO FUCKING EVERYONE, sorry. And seriously, I have a friend who’s really attractive and has got a great personality. Sure, she’s slightly chubby, but she’s fucking kick ass in my opinion, outside and in. Plus, that bit of extra weight she’s got is genetic. It’s not like it can be helped.

Guys like this give other guys a bad name (no, not all of them, I’m mostly referring to Frank and Diego). How terrible. A guy on here mentioned how he hates having sex with girls self-conscious about their weight? Well golly fucking gee, wonder why they are to begin with. Maybe not because of guys like him, but others.

Baker Girl

Oh my god!!! I love you! Thats (I think) what Remey was trying to say … and what people should think. We all look the way we look and unless its going to KILL the person we look great the way we are. Its just like hair color, skin color, or how tall someone is. Its soooooooo silly … I hear it/ see it too often and hate it.

Dove

It’s so true! I know a few guys who date teeny girls (usually short and skinny) exclusively, and these guys are the same ones who don’t think of their girlfriends as “friends”, who are more likely to cheat, or who never date a girl longer than 2 months.

I mean, obviously! If you pick a partner without taking personality into accout AT ALL then chances are good you’re going to think they are boring and annoying, or simply not get along.

Patricia

If I could, I’d ask for Sandy’s and Mike’s adresses so I could send them a very nice bottle of wine.

Coming from someone who has five older brothers and seeing the women they dated and found attractive (singers, actresses and whatnot); variety and confidence was the norm.

I never really cared about how men perceived my body, I was too concerned with my own view on the subject. I was never overweight, from any standard, but when I was 18 I thought I was the fattest woman on the planet (shocking, right? A young woman feeling fat, never heard of THAT before) so I did what any sane person would: I exercised 3 hours a day; and allowed myself onlt 800 calories per day. I went from 52 kg (I’m 1m60) to 45 kg in less than two months. My brothers gave me concerned looks, but it was when I refused to eat anything but a small salad at one of my brother’s birthday bash that the shit hit the fan. They all told me I was being absolutely ridiculous, and that I was getting really ugly and unbelievingly miserable. When they used those two words, my brain short-circuited. They told me all the things most guys said; that there’s a difference between healthy and skinny, and that I was a pain to be around.

I agree 100% with the guys that say that a person who doesn’t value her/his health is a turnoff. I value mine dearly, especially after my brothers slapped me around a bit.

When I think of the guys I dated and date, I never went for an obviously fat one. Pot belly, beer belly, a bit too skinny, supermodel handsome; yes. But fat no. It is probably because we are taught to think that only fat people are unhealthy and we have a duped view on what FAT is. Most guys relate being overweight with being obese. And yeah, obesity is not something to celebrate, just like anorexia or bulimia. Or fucking crazy diets, or girls who relate eating a sandwich with stuffing their faces.

Most guys sound like great people who should tell every salad eating out there to have a sandwich; and then lots and lots and LOTS of sex. Be confident and healthy; I don’t think those guys are asking for much.

MM

Frank, learn some medical science plz. Saying that obesity is more dangerous than eating disorders is like saying that smoking is worse than shooting heroin: it kills more people in the long run because more people do it, but it doesn’t have the same short term effects. Obviously Frank is going on a health crusade because he thinks that fat people are EWW GROSS. He doesn’t have to fuck fat women but he can at least treat them like human beings.

http://bigapplepants.com sarahnoid

so, lemme see if I have this right:
fat = bad person
frank = good person

Pass me a motherfucking cheeseburger.

Magda

Honestly, I’m not gona get offended because some one says that “fat people” are unattractive and inherently bad. That is that persons oppinion regardless of whether it is correct or not.

That said, as a woman who would be labled “fat” by these same people, I have to say thank you. I was once (almost) with some one that loved my T&A but didnt like that I had a belly. Every girl he had been with before then had been rail thin. However, I was also in better shape than any of those girls. I jogged 2 miles every night at the beach. I did 2 hours of aerobics every other day and yoga. I would rather be with someone who likes me for the person I am and all that I am, then someone who likes me conditionally.

I am a “fat girl” that can run up three flights of stairs with out getting winded when my “skinny” friend would be panting.

I dont think its a crime to like a certain body type. If you like skinny women, great. If you like toned women, great. If you like women with “meat, great.

But if you are going to make a statement like fat people dont respect their bodies and are all lazy, couch potatoes who shovel ben & jerry’s into their mouths by the gallon, I think you need to reassess your perception of healthy. Medically, there are people who look skinny but have a BMI that places them in the obese range. There are fat people who excersise and eat healthy but have another issue that prevents them from being thin. Don’t judge everyone by the stereotype.

And again, I am not condeming anyone. Everyone is entitled to have their own preferences. If you judge them for not liking what you think they should, then you are hardly better than them in the first place.

What that saying about casting stones when you live in a house of glass, or something?

M

Judging by the number of comments, I’m not the only one who found this interesting. My standards for women and men tend to be: don’t be too bony, and don’t have rolls when you’re standing up. Either of those and I can’t get turned on anymore. Neither situation makes someone a terrible person, it just makes someone unsexy in my eyes [but don't fret! I don't have the only eyes]. I’ve been in lust with people all across the spectrum in between: there’s always at least one bewitching thing to notice, and if I have a crush it’ll grow on me more and more until something about them irresistibly sexy. Sometimes it’s a physical feature, sometimes it’s just how someone walks or sleeps or handles a wrench or plays an instrument.

During my dating life I’ve been thinnish to fattish, but I have a broad frame so I’ve never looked skinny clothed [even when I was unhealthily thin with a pretty awful eating disorder: passing out, no periods, freezing all the time, losing my hair, the works, I still didn't look skinny clothed]. Only one ex of mine has admitted to loving freakishly thin girls. He admits that his ideal chick is tall, bottle-blonde, painfully thin [like legitimately emaciated: just a little muscle and no fat], with big ol’ round bolt-on tits, and chained to a radiator. He also freely admits to the fact that his Ideal Female Archetype absolutely does not occur in nature and really shouldn’t, and that this probably makes him a terrible person. But hey, the penis wants what it wants. And obviously he’s not too hung up on it since he never had anything but good things to say about me and I’m pretty much exactly the opposite: short, Asian, belly pooch, broad shoulders and hips, and boobs that look like they’ve seen some gravity.

I got lucky: my current boyfriend likes them big. He still complains about fat people which confuses me a little, but I think he hasn’t quite learned to be able to vocalize ‘This is what I find sexy and this is what’s big enough I can’t anymore and when I can’t it disturbs me’, or maybe he’s just more of an ass than I’m willing to see because I love him. But I was pretty fit when we met and he still lusted, and I’ve gained about thirty pounds since [not because we're dating; because I have no time to work out anymore and I eat like shit because I'm broke] and he still lusts now. Plus even though I’m up to about a 12/14 his last girlfriend has still definitely got some meat on me, so I guess I’m not pushing his limits yet. Though her boobs are also a lot bigger. And she also knows how to dress her body a lot better than I’ll ever figure out.

B

Phil’s porn vs models comment was really interesting. I hadn’t thought of it that way before!

A Man Who Stumbled Across This

Look, everyone knows that the heavier you are the uglier you are ceteris paribus. Women like to throw a fit when they hear this, but it is a fact. And the reason they like to throw a fit is usually because they are too heavy and they know this.

There is a range of body size between which it is a matter of taste as to which men prefer. Some prefer super-petite, say Ashley Olsen, others prefer a little larger – but not too much larger (and some people have a fetish either for fat or anorexic, but they are outliers). We discuss this. A lot. Some “larger” women are hot, but by “larger” we usually mean Scarlett Johansson.

If you have even the makings of a muffin-top, even a slight belly-overhang, or fat legs and a fat wobbly ass, we would really, *really*, rather you didn’t. Of course, we will still sleep with you (maybe), go out with you, love you, maybe marry you and be happy with you forever (definitely). But we would still prefer you to be slim and toned.

We will always *always* secretly, or maybe not so secretly if you start to really get heavier, wish you were more slim. The women we beat off over are slim, the women we lust after in bars and at work are slim, the women we regret not sleeping with the most are the slim ones. Etc etc.

But things are exactly the same with you. Women don’t want a fat guy, do they? Everyone knows this, so why bother pretending otherwise.

Unsustainable

Stop thinking that it’s the exactly the same for everyone else. You’re only accountable for your feelings on this, just like you’re essentially responsible for your own happiness with or without a partner, who you find physically desirable. Don’t mire me, or anyone else, down in your very narrow range of specifications. And don’t, for one moment, assume one thing about what makes me come. (Here’s a hint, though: it has nothing to do with BMI.)

What I find sexy isn’t always 100% what I find esthetically pleasing. And what I find esthetically pleasing I don’t always find sexy. In fact, I very rarely find the average empirical “hotness” very sexy. So, I’m very fortunate in this regard, especially compared to someone like yourself: my attraction to someone isn’t hinged on how they look in their shorts (or their bikini). Bodies change! Even if you don’t want them to. Eventually, we all become flaccid, fragile sacks of meat and fat, bone and hair, so if I were you, I’d find something else to obsess over.

Also, and I meant to say this in my earlier screed: There is NOTHING quite so unsexy as someone who is self-obsessed, in any form. Be it obsessed with their hair, fitness, psychoanalysis, creativity, attractiveness, righteousness, or wealth. Seriously, nothing. It’s important to love yourself, and be confident, and happy/healthy in body and mind, it is, but for crying out loud, people, seriously: No one looks great with their head this far up their own ass.

Marie

Great response, made me smile. :)

Brit

I’m a female and I work out twice a day, every day of the week and I’d just like to say, THANK YOU! This here is the truth. Fat is not beautiful, it’s not natural. We need only to look into the past to see that. Our bodies were created to hunt and fight, we’ve just let ourselves get lazy and have labelled that ‘curvy.’ Stop excusing your inactivity and/or overeating ladies! I don’t work as hard as I do on my body for any man, I do it because I respect myself and I like to feel good. Endorphins are my drug! Join the club, we don’t have jackets, but we have great self esteem!

stfu

You want a medal hun? If you’re happy with your body, good for you. why the f*** does anyone else matter to you? You must waste so much of your life worrying about what other people do with theirs that I feel bad for you

http://www.facebook.com/diontheguy Dion Argueta

When I see slim women I don’t have very much desire for them usually, but when I see a woman who has some flesh, I get excited and start to get horny and interested. I am not attracted to a bunch of handles or anything like that but big boobs and a round or shapely ass does it for me every time!!!!

Doc

I never cease to be amazed at the shallowness of most men. It’s who the person is inside not what the person looks like outside. Give me a soft warm, loving fat girl any time but keep the skinny self centered ones every time.

Hanna

I get it if a man says that he doesn’t want to be with an overweight woman because she doesn’t appeal to him sexually. No crime in that. A crime indeed is a guy who only takes an interest in women he would like to screw. THAT makes him an assface.
I agree with the New York – Panama thing. I fancied guys from 5 ft 7 to 6 ft 6, brunette, blonde, red head, you name it, dangerously skinny to chubby, but I never fancied an obese man. I am not ashamed of it. It’s a purely physical reaction. Nobody should take that personally. I’d go from Mexico City to Seattle but Anchorage is just too far out there. Sorry.

Kristina

Sooo…all I really got from this was: Men are just like women, they all like different things.

BTW, to the guy who was all “fat is ugly” and then assumed all women like muscled/skinny guys? What planet do you live on? Cause I’m pretty sure it isn’t earth.

The last guy I dated was 6’2, 275, and I thought he was gorgeous. Not just “hot because I like him” hot, but straight up I would check him out on the street as a stranger hot. The boyfriend before that was 6′ and 150 fully clothed and soaking wet. He had a 31 inch waist. I thought the big dude was *WAY* hotter than the small one. So much so that I won’t be venturing back into the land of skinny and/or muscled dudes (muscled dudes look like they make really uncomfortable human pillows…) again.

Your opinion & tastes != everyone’s.

Brit

[edit: this wasn't meant to post as a reply to anyone, computer glitch apparently :S ]
…
I’m a female and I work out twice a day, every day of the week and I’d just like to say, THANK YOU! This here is the truth. Fat is not beautiful, it’s not natural. We need only to look into the past to see that. Our bodies were created to hunt and fight, we’ve just let ourselves get lazy and have labelled that ‘curvy.’ Stop excusing your inactivity and/or overeating ladies! I don’t work as hard as I do on my body for any man, I do it because I respect myself and I like to feel good. Endorphins are my drug! Join the club, we don’t have jackets, but we have great self esteem!

M

I’d say that like any animal, humans are really driven to survive more than specifically hunt and fight. Part of survival is hording energy sources, which includes a fat layer. People with fat reserves survive longer in times of famine. Wouldn’t that make people who are physically capable and active but not very lean MORE evolutionarily prepared?

Also, working out twice a day makes you happy and I’m not trying to take that away from you, but you should know you’re lucky. Working out never made me anything but miserable, even when I did it consistently [as in 8-12 hours a week]. I stopped because that was viable when I had a desk job; now I spend most of my day on my feet working on cars, and while I love it after that the last thing I want to do is spend more time running around. I WISH I could get the satisfaction out of exercising that a lot of people I know do, but I’m just not like that. Food, sex, and getting to be lazy in my rare spare moments make me much happier than planning my life around workouts ever came close to. Just because I’m fatter now doesn’t mean I’m not still strong and capable and awesome anyway. And dammit, I can still turn heads even if I’m not anywhere close to my old size four.

Brit

@M ..
I get what you’re saying and from the sounds of it you are not one of the people I am intentionally targeting anyway, but thank you for your reply.
I’m sorry that you don’t get enjoyment from exercise. When I first started a proper regime, about a year ago, it was absolute murder and a lot of the time I wanted to die. It’s really horrible that something so good for us can makes us feel so bad, but I’ve kept at it and now its one of my favourite parts of the day. I am very lucky though, as you said and am fortunate to be in a situation where I can study and work and still have time for exercise (I am only 19 & I don’t have children or much else to worry about, its all ‘me, me, me’ as they say)
As for the survival vs. hunting, the saying is ‘survival of the fittest’, right? I know that is realistically outdated in most societies but as a history major I LOVE to think of things in terms of how one would live back then (& then be completely hypocritical as I type this into my laptop of course).

Honestly though, this article mainly hit home for me as I live in a small town in Australia which I have come to believe generates the majority of Australia’s obesity statistics. I kid you not. I guess I was just happy to see an article that tells it like it is. I just hope that more women read it without taking it as a personal dig and instead allow it to inspire them.

M

I definitely understand how the stereotypes of your surroundings and your experiences color your mindset. It goes the other way but my family is almost all incredibly tiny, and it’s definitely a continued balancing act to be comfortable with the fact that I’ll never be like any of them [and even when I was literally so skinny I was dying I still looked like 'the fat one'].

As the article and opinions go, I’d like to think I’ve pretty much gotten to the point where other people’s opinions aren’t the main influences on my own. Everyone likes what they like, after all. I don’t really have any issues with people saying ‘I’m attracted primarily to skinny/fat/three-legged/eight feet tall/cyclopses/whatever’; after all, we can’t control our hormones. If we could, being gay would be a choice. Everyone has Their Thing: it would make a lot of people go ‘EW’, but nothing can turn me on as instantly as a person I find attractive in pain. Our bodies want what they want, and [unless what you want involves a lack of consent and you act on it] there shouldn’t be shame in it. However, I immediately swing back to being all judgey when some people express opinions that make it clear that they think anyone who doesn’t fall into their cookie-cutter ideal is automatically inferior and broken. If working out a lot is what makes you happy and your life is better and more fulfilling for it, as long as you’re not taking it to an unhealthy extreme I think that’s awesome. After all, we have to do what’s right for us. :)

Brit

@M..
I feel a little tempted to do a one-eighty and say ‘you are right!’ since you argue your point amazingly! However I am a stubborn little cow and will stand by my guns (haha)
I like to put my tough stance on fatness down to the fact that I am not one of those naturally skinny girls you see chowing down a bigMac one minute and laying around in a bikini looking like they’ve come straight from the set of Baywatch (yes I know terribly lame reference, I apologise) the next. In fact, screw them! (haha) I’ve had to work hard for every kilo lost & muscle gained. Maybe that’s what makes me so ‘anti-fat’ or more ‘pro excercise’ as i like to think of it. I see working out (especially on the most basic levels) as an easy activity that everyone can do, no excuses, unless you are dead! But well, whatever it is that makes me the narcissistic, judgy, fitness-junkie b**** I probably come across as, it is what it is.
I would like to add though, that I applaud you for being so comfortable and happy in your own skin, I would love it everyone could feel that way! I’m just of the opinion (however arguable) that most people won’t attain that hapiness if they don’t treat their bodies right & until then they are only fooling themselves. (& i mean all this purely on a physical level. Mental &/or emotional happiness is a completely different issue and one which I honestly can say I have no right to touch)

Hanna

Just because I am overweight it doesn’t mean I don’t work out or I don’t enjoy it. I did Taekwondo for two years, two times a week. That was so hard and so painful that I sometimes almost puked but I loved it. I could totally kick ass but I was still chubby. Now I am doing yoga two times a week and it gives me similar satisfaction plus a rather good muscle tone. I ride my bike, I do exercises at home, I am fit and healthy. I do enjoy feeling my muscles work and seeing them develope. Doesn’t mean I am going to switch from sandwich to salad anytime soon, sorry. I love baking, I love cooking and although I take care that I don’t eat mass produced shit I still eat butter and sometimes chocolate. And I am happy. So as long as I am not risking my health and I am happy I don’t see why I should do what you do – even though I am overweight.

http://www.facebook.com/diontheguy Dion Argueta

Hanna, you sound hot!!!!! Taekwondo, very shapely ass, please don’t appologize to anyone or make excuses. I am 5’6 220lbs. and like the way I look and can run circles around people going out and having a good time staying up late and enjoying activities. I am strong eat what I want and am healthy. I don’t smoke, do drugs, I am a social drinker only and am happy. If I feel like I don’t have energy or are lagging I simply cut my portions or eat more healthy till I feel better. If I have a hard time tying my shoes I make an exta effort to cut my portions and watch what I eat. Maybe I won’t eat french fries or drink sodas till I feel better. I love drinking water and try to stay hydrated, I stay away from artificial things as much as possible and I am good. I think people who are trying really hard to trim down or stay trim often go to artificial flavoring for low fat alternatives and even doctors recommend artificial sweetners because they are less fattening along with diet sodas etc. I honestly think I will be alive still and happy and healthy while these people are dying from the accumulation of all the artificial sweetners and low fat alternatives because of the cancer causing agents they have in them. When I drink diet soda and consume some of the alternative things my stomach starts to feel a little strange and kinda like it wants to reject the diet part. I read not too long ago that diet soda is no more less fattening than regular soda anyway. If you consume natural fat it’s got to be more healthy than the diet stuff or when the natural ingredients are removed from naturally balanced foods anyway. I think that’s probably why you see so many skinny people getting cancer and why you don’t see many overweight people getting it. Body fat protects you from cold, getting deathly ill when your sick and a host of other things as well. I would like to get more physically fit and have more endurance but from more excercize not watching what I eat. When you excercize regularly what you need to eat to keep getting more fit and healthy pretty much comes naturally anyway. You usually crave what you need to eat to feel good and healthy anyway. I don’t think anyone should worry about what they eat or how much you eat unless you don’t feel healthy or are lacking energy. If you get enough sleep and feel good, who cares what other people think. If your happy with the way you look and feel, chances are you are healthy and happy!!!!!

Brit

@Hanna ..
what do you mean you shouldn’t have to ‘do what you(I) do’ ? All I’m suggesting is that a little exercise never hurt anyone and should be a part of everyone’s daily life. While I don’t condone someone who recongises themself as being overweight only doing low cardio workouts just twice a week, it is not my business and I am no fitness instructor or doctor!
I just hope that you are not someone who then complains about your weight.
Realistically talking unless we are born with killer metabolisms (good i wish i were) we should idealy diet AND exercise. Theres no way around it. That said, I am no diet nazi! I enjoy chocolate just as much as the next girl, but when i’m not treating myself I try to eat as well as I can without starving.. it works for me.

Hanna

Doing what you do means working out twice a day, 7 days a week. Which is probably overdoing it a bit, from a health point of view.
Yes, I only do yoga twice a week which is low cardio and high pain, but, as I wrote, I also do exercises at home and ride my bike. And that is completely sufficient for keeping me healthy and fit. Which I want to be. And no, I don’t complain about my weight to anyone, that would be stupid. I think that everyone should exercise regularly, take the stairs instead of the elevator, walk instead of taking the bus, stay away from processed stuff, cigarettes and booze, eat veggies and fruit everyday, etc. etc. So we are on the same page, I have just lower standards than you and as long as I can stay healthy the way I live I don’t see a reason to become more obsessed.
Sometimes it just makes me angry that people think because I am overweight I don’t care about my body or I don’t know about proper nutrition or I don’t exercise. I am probably more fit, more flexible and healthier than the people assuming that.

B

@Hanna..
It’s only overdoing it if my body can’t handle it, which I’m lucky enough that it can & I’d like to point out again that I never actually said that anyone should follow my exercise program. I simply encouraged girls to ‘join the club’ by which I meant the endorphin loving, body moving club where you aren’t an inactive lump 7 days a week and think that’s okay.
I did miss the bit where you said you ride etc. That’s great you choose those options. Most of what I’ve read says we need to do 30-60 minutes of planned exercise at least 3 days a week to maintain our health, so to anyone doing that, I have no ‘beef’ with you.
I get where you’re coming from though, taking my view on ‘if you’re fat you either overeat or are inactive’ negatively but your case is not a common one and I was making a generalised statement. Most fat people in my experience are normally ignorant, lazy and/or negligent.
Also, of course you’ll be fitter/more flexible/healthier than someone who doesn’t do any exercise. I’m not saying, “YAY for lazy skinny girls” either, everyone should exercise, there is just a higher pressure on ‘fat girls’ because excessive (!) fatness (I’m not talking about a roll here and there, I’m talking about fat, fat) is not a natural thing for the human body.

Hanna

I said I was overweight, not fat. I can see my feet, I can touch my feet, in fact, I can touch my feet to my forehead.
I used to whine how it was hard to get exercise. Used to whine about my weight, too. I started yoga. Once a week, then twice a week, for a while I did three lessons a week but I felt that it was too much. Then I just started walking instead of taking the subway or the bus and I really enjoyed that. And then I got a bike and now I love riding it so much I can’t believe why I have waited so long. It’s all about the first step, I guess. I used to hate whole-grain bread, now it’s the only thing I eat. I will never be petite, I will never have long legs or slender arms but I can be fit and healthy and that’s the goal.
What I really wanted to say, I guess, is that it’s more what you do and what you put inside your body than what size you are – within reasonable limits. Funnily enough, I really don’t take it personally anymore if a guy isn’t into me because I am too fat for him. After all, it IS not personal. I think that is a sign that I am starting to accept my body which in turn makes it easier to work with it and improve it. But if a guy really can’t see beyond my upper thighs he can kiss my large but very shapely ass.

B

So we have similar stances on it then?
Excercise is good, ignorance is not bliss?
Body type cannot be changed but extra, unecessary ‘baggage’ is just that, unecessary.
:)

Mirth

I am female, over 40 and fit and healthy, and NOT FAT. I work out 6 days a week because I care about my health. My weight impacts my health, therefore I want to control it and keep it at a level where I will not end up with diabetes, obesity, heart problems. I can’t stand seeing young girls walking around in various stages of obesity. Thery are letting themselves down and besides this, they look revolting. Don’t tell me you’re happy with being “curvy”. It ain’t curves sister, it’s lumps and bulges and it’s going to lead you to an early grave!! The only guys who like fat chicks are insecure ones who want to make sure nobody else is doing them while they are out of town.

Sheress belton

There is a lot of truth to that my man met me slim and I gained a few pounds he was ok then with that then I hit the gym and toned like nobody’s business he use to be in shape we worked out together in the past now he is fat and he says I’m too skinny but yet he is all over me and very jealous and can’t stand when men and women look at me. He said he does not want to be with a fat women because of health reasons, yet he does not want me in the gym, he is very insecure.

http://www.facebook.com/diontheguy Dion Argueta

Mirth, I am very secure, and even when I was thinner preferred girls with a little extra meat. We’re not talking morbidly obese here, just some extra meat. I prefer handling a woman who has something to squeeze over a woman who is all hard muscle any day. Also, you have to be pretty obese and inactive for the most part for it to be a big health issue anyway. Woman who are obsessed with their weight are boring and uptight anyway. Food is one of the biggest parts of enjoyable culture and living. A woman who is skinny to me is a huge turn off. I think woman who are the average thin type look like everyone else and to me that is just boring. I prefer a woman who looks different. A woman who has a little extra padding has many different varieties of their figures and shapes and that to me makes it more enjoyable to look at them and to me they are a beautiful variety. As far as you seeing them as looking revolting, that sounds a little extreme to me. I suspect it was your upbringing. Maybe you were brought up to be nothing short of perfect, I don’t know? It’s nice to have someone with health and energetic but you don’t have to be thin to have a lot of energy and be very active. I am overweight 5’6 and 223 lbs but have more energy and am more healthy than people that are much thinner than myself. I am very strong and can work all day long!!!! Also I could eat like a horse and work right after eating without any problem!!!! I think everything depends on how active you are and what types of foods you eat along with how you view the world. A healthy person is a happy person. Too many thin and everyday types of women seem to have a problem in that department. I think a lot of them are so worried about looking and acting perfect that their stressed worrying about making sure they stay that way. The most important thing is that you stay happy. I’m happy!!!!!

Jasmine Hariwoolar

whoa whoa that is a great point about being healthy 40 not fat,have you felt what it’s like to be fat some people have thyroid disorders,not all these parent’s are teaching there children how to eat healthy im a fat chick and my husband is not insecure he is a very accomplished man he has his masters degree in map surveying in the army reserves he was a teacher in his hometown in 2012 and when me and my husband met he knew what size i was and it didn’t matter to him if i was heavy he cares about me genuinely he likes to look at me when i dont like to look at myself we go walking and jogging together every day even if its just walking and i care about my health we eat healthy as well as my daughter and my daughter isn’t overweight your childish to be 40 your supposed to help young women and older women not criticize them karma is a bitch though all that bragging God dont like ugly just like sand paper it may rub you the wrong way but in the long run the sand paper is worn out and ugly and i know alot of healthy people that have health problems big or skinny we all got problems

Frank- eating disorders do kill people and being fat because you eat to much is an eating disorder. I would never want to be with someone who say I want to F**K you. Please grow up and work on your own insecurities and then you can be happy to. I am not wither saying that fat is ok, it is unhealthy. People who are fat, usually aren’t healthy because they don’t have love or support and it is VERY CERY difficult to find that strength within yourself to change your life. Especially when you don’t have the ability (including knowledge) to get out of that situation. That is a cycle. Please, Frank, man up and work on your self.-

Kelly

I am also going to say this. The guys who don’t care about weight, who want you to be happy are the good ones. The girls who are overly concerned about weight, meaning they are super, unnaturally skinny, they are unhappy. I know that I don’t have the best body, but I am working on being happy and repairing the damage or my past with those duchebaggy guys and some of my female friends. If you are happy with you eat fairly healthy and are overly inactive, then your body will be at an appropriate weight. Thanks to the good guys and I don’t need you to the doucge bags. Grow up, figure out what you need to be happy and get that.

anywheregirl52

I have to focus on the good ones here! I’m almost in tears, it makes me so happy to hear this. I’m curvy, and have never had a problem with men. I love my body. I love that it carries me through my life, that it can handle biking to work every day, but also can relax like nobodies business. I love it, and I’ve never been skinny, and I never will be, and no man has ever taken issue with that. So I’m loving reading these guys say this so loudly! Loving yourself goes a really long way in this life.

CJ

@Athlete-this is probably one of the most intelligent things I’ve read.

Since when can we not tell the truth because it might hurt a few people’s feelings to hear it? Being dangerously overweight-obese-is controllable and life threatening, just like being dangerously underweight is. This ‘free-to-be-you-and-me’ attitude cannot extend to the issue of morbid obesity and hold water. The best example of this right now is a popular TV show that would have us believe that a hot jock would be in love with an obese teenager. Obese, not chubby or curvy or big boned. This is something I feel really strongly about because I’m 5′ 10″ and well within the weight range normal for my height, which is substantially more than if I were 5′ 2″. I don’t walk around weight obsessed because I’m too busy enjoying my life. I can’t imagine what would be like to be so aware of every poc and flaw. I live in rural Texas, where the backyard grill and the Igloo are the main kitchen appliances, and most social functions involve being outdoors, fishing, camping, hunting, and then sitting on our asses eating lots of meat. We work hard. We laugh a lot. If I spent 8 hours a week in a gym my friends would stage an intervention and tell me to get my ass back to the party. This isn’t everyone’s life, and I completely understand we all have different things that crank our tractors, but let’s face it: worrying about the state of your face/waist/rack/ass is not nearly as important as making sure that your body, mind, and spirit are being nourished and kept healthy. To me being wholly healthy means a state of balance in all these things, which is harder to do but infinitely more rewarding.

Chase

I love the honesty of this article. It’s refreshing to find a source that tells it like it is. Most information out there for women is written BY women who think they know the male perspective. 9.9 times out of 10, they are so wrong, it’s laughable. It’s usually sugarcoated with nonsense like, “Oh, he doesn’t care about your cellulite-ridden butt or the extra 30 pounds you’re carrying around. If he loves you, he’ll love you at any size.” Let’s get real. Sure, he might still love you, but will he want to have sex with you? Probably not. No one is saying women have to starve themselves or be unhealthy to be thin. However, for those who choose to skip the gym and find comfort in their brownie fudge pies instead, go for it – just don’t expect to be sexually desired…unless you live in one of those remote villages in Africa where they force the brides-to-be into “feeding barns” to fatten them up for their weddings. In Western civilization, like it or not, the ideal female figure is thin with curves. Men prefer thin – tiny even – size 0,2, or 4 at the absolute most – most guys anyway, not all. And we like big boobs and a nice backside as well. Is this fair? Maybe not. But it’s the truth, and it’s refreshing to hear it for once.

Krista

I am considered obese. I am 250 lbs. When I met my boyfriend I was 200 lbs. This was 3.5 years ago. Since I have been with him I have gained 50 lbs because he likes to eat. He is only 165 lbs, and pretty tall too (6’0-6’2ish). I can say that I honestly have had no change in my amazing sex life! My boyfriend gawks at my ass because it’s so big. Some men like it, some don’t.

And as a mater of fact, I am a casual smoker and I am also a nursing student. Yes I am a hypocrit.

But if two people love eachother, it honestly has nothing to do with weight. I do not get to see him everyday like I use to due to my needy educational status but I see him 4 times a week, and we have sex 1-3 times a day when we see eachother.
He has actually told me he would prefer if I do not lose all the weight. My goal weight is 150 lbs; However, he would like me to lose no more than 50 lbs because that would be the weight he met me at. Therefore, we have decided to join a gym so that he can gain MORE muscle, and I can lose the 50 lbs. I am proud of myself but I accept that I must lose weight for the health benefits. I have cut down to 3 smokes a day as well. But, I would also never lose weight for a man, even if he asked me too. I will do this for myself and any man that doesn’t accept whom I am now, would not be worthy of me at any other weight.

Sheress Belton

I think that’s a great attitude you have and your honesty is appreciated at the end of the day it’s not hoe you look but your overall health p.s quite smoking (lol) nuse Krista I know it’s hard :) keep up the good work

Krista

And I would like to add that my boyfriend is not insecure and I have had (on multiple occassions) guys try to hook up with me. Although I am over weight, I know how to make myself look good. I may not look like megan fox naked, but I know that my face is beautiful, and my long blond hair is beautiful, and I dress to impress. Not to mention that I am a nursing student so I am on the verge of becoming a very successful women. One thing, my weight, is not going to bring me down. My boyfriend is a plumbing apprentice as well. To me, success and love is most important for now. One day, when I have time, I will lose weight, but as for now the yoga class I do on Thursdays, and the Spin class I do on Friday’s are not cutting it for my sedentary studying lifestyle!

deloris

Every one is beautiful , People need to look more on the inside of a person, I am Big Beautiful Woman 5’5 weight in at 217 lb..was A big Babby at birth..9 + lb a chubby child ( other kids made fun at…but mine family told me they are blid why do anyone make a huth ful remark ?..its like going up to tell a blind man at he CAN’t see !
if we were all the same..weight , hair color , its would make life dull…. and its is genes..I didn’t ask to be big ..nor have health problem.. because I know a lot of people who are in good health of mine size who have health trouble..young.& beautiful.or old

vera

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Caleigh Grace

I can tell you for sure that cursing for the sake of cursing is not only unattractive it makes the person…man OR woman sound like an uneducated idiot. Many people curse, but I wouldn’t want to be with someone like Frank who constantly drops the F-bomb.

Skye

There’s a big fucking difference between “skinny” and “fit” or “healthy” or “in shape.” It IS possible to be skinny and unhealthy, you know. Same for people who are genuinely obese, that’s correct. But to sit there and say that people who are fat probably have diabetes? People who are fat AREN’T BEAUTIFUL? Do you think that those models who look fucking emaciated and on the verge of dying right there on the runway are BEAUTIFUL? Sunken in cheeks, hollow eyes, ghostly complextions, and 7 mile wide gaps between limbs are attractive and promote health? That’s what you would fuck? That’s the definition of a good person? EATING DISORDERS AREN’T FATAL? Fuck you. I hope you become obese and stuck in a goddamn wheelchair, let’s see how many skinny bitches you’ll be fucking then.

Sincerely,

Fat girl defending her chub pride

missfantasia

why so .. stupid?
and people is trying to accept all types of bodies and be OK with them because it’s known that people who have a bodie in the middle point (not fat, not skinny) is still called fat and her/his selfsteem goes down to the floor. Do you think that’s right? And it’s all because we have this standars of beauty very internalized in our minds. Sad.
Anyways, I will say nothing about “if you’re fat, you’re a bad person”, because it has been already said.

missfantasia

i was talking about frank.
and also I agree with Remmy

http://www.facebook.com/diontheguy Dion Argueta

I think when it comes down to it, honestly, I think there are more happy overweight women than skinny ones. It seems like a lot of the skinny ones don’t appear to be as happy as the ones who are not skinny. Pay attention when you go out and look at people or when you watch television. Look at their eyes and body language and everything. I think skinny women are restrained and more reserved and deprived and yes, less happy!!!!! I think women who are thinner tend to be more worried about appearing perfect and are a lot more worried about it then women who are not skinny. I am not talking about all of them but on average!!!!!

http://www.facebook.com/diontheguy Dion Argueta

I prefer bigger women, even when I was skinny. I think a woman who is bigger looks like she has a nice appetite not only for food, but for other things!!!!! Like sex!!!!! :-) I think a skinny women or a woman with not much meat on her looks like a woman deprived or maybe even sickly or not healthy. If someone is too skinny the first thing that I think is ” I wonder if they may have cancer? I’ve rarely saw someone overweight have cancer? I enjoy physically fit but, prefer a little more voluptuous woman. Large breasts and a woman with rounded hips is a huge turn on for me.

Joker

I came here to find a little bit of closure, because I am a size 8/10 currently just about to head off to college.
I dislike my legs. I felt that I had “boner killer legs” (because of the muscle.) I played soccer my whole life, since I was 5, and felt that is probably where I built the muscle and I like to eat vegetables and fruits for my snacks other than brownies and cake. Never had a sweet tooth.
I dont like to wear shorts in public, even if it is a hot summer day. I rather die of heat exhaustion then show people my ugly legs.
I didn’t really find closure from what the men said.
I am definitely not Nicole Richie skinny, or Mila Kunis pretty.
I know sex is apart of human nature, but these men used it as if it was all they cared about a woman’s body for. I even have some girlfriends that say that about men also, like that is all they care for about men’s bodies.

victoriapage

kudos to mike for being alive

A Girl

I have to say I’m not attracted to any guy evaluating me based on my ability to satisfy his sexual impulses. My value goes so far beyond my booty it seems ridiculous to even consider it important. It’s fucked up to objectify women to any degree and a reflection of how oblivious humans can be to the depth and reality of a living human being.

Tor

“Eating disorders aren’t often fatal.” Incorrect. ED’s are the one of the most lethal mental illnesses. Approximately 1 in 5 people who suffer with one will die of illness-related complications, or commit suicide.

I may be naturally “thicker” but I bet I’m a lot healthier and in way better shape than the majority of “skinny” girls I know. I try to eat healthier and exercise on a regular basis. If a guy cannot see past the way my body looks he isn’t the guy I want to be with. Sure you can blame it on society, all the advertising and mass media, but in the end it’s you who has to say FUCK IT, I’ll love and fuck who I please. Stop caring what other people think. Don’t be a sheep. Stop limiting yourself from connecting and loving another human being.

XxMissCherryx .

I’m pretty sure this post was about how men feel about weight on a woman. Something to take into consideration is that women are made for bearing children, so typically , we get bigger as we get older, does that mean we are going to get diabetes and make our children obese, i don’t think so. I do agree that a woman letting herself go and gaining a bunch of weight is not attractive, but maybe think about it from a woman’s perspective, there are many many factors that could come into play to make us gain some weight. Saying that fat is desgusting is way too black and white and quite honestly makes you sound like a dhallow asshole, and that kind of attitude will most likely land you with someone of the same nature. Lets hope for your sake yoy do not end up gaining a bunch of weight and feeling ridiculed by woman who think you’re desgusting. Wouldn’t that be a shame.

anounymous

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anounymous

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jennifer

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shearbeauty9879

You are a fucking moron. There is no possible way you can read back what you typed and actually think you are making a valid point.

1) not everyone with diabetes is “fat”

2) eating disorders ruin lives and DO kill people

3) the fact that you think because someone is overweight they are not beautiful shows that your personality doesn’t get any deeper than the six pack you supposedly sport around.

Open your eyes and realize that the size of someones clothes, or the number on the scale has become a menace to our society, because of pricks just like you. And people like YOU are the reason people develop eating disorders that destroy and sometimes end their lives. But as long as you’re skinny, it doesn’t matter if your insides are slowly wasting away and you are emotionally wrecked from the pressure to be thin right? Instead of telling people that they are “disgusting” and “deplorable” for being “fat”, how about encouraging them to get healthy, not because they should care what a superficial, arrogant asshole (like yourself) thinks about them, but because it is GOOD FOR THEM?

Madelina

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Tiffany

I am a bigger girl, but you know what, I am clean, I dress nice, I wear make up, and if a shallow asshole looks at me and thinks I’m too fat, that’s his right, but it’s also my right to think he’s a shallow asshole, and anyone who judges me by my weight and not by my personality is simply not worth my time and never will be. I will not change for anyone. I try, I do work out, but I like to eat, and as long as you try that should be good enough and anyone who says otherwise needs to be kicked to the curb and forgotten about. You are all beautiful. I don’t care what size you are, and if anyone says you’re not kick them in the ass because you just don’t need people like that in your life.

Confused?

I know being obese is seen as a bad thing, I’m 5′ 3″ 253 lbs but I go to the gym every day, eat a healthy and balanced diet, drink tons of water and somehow manage not to lose a single pound! No sugar no soda no fast food. I’ve seen doctors who have no idea what is going on with my body, they say that I’m overweight and need to lose a few pounds. The only issue is how can I lose weight if they have no idea what is keeping me from doing so?

meh

Reading all these comments just springs to mind how lob-sided this world has become. A man can be fat, lazy, bald and a ex criminal but women still see the beauty of his heart, whereas guys base there judgement on ’10/10 would bang’ If only guys were girls for a day they would reliase there own faults and discover how much harderit is to ‘get laid’

laly

i wonna see an articole about wat woman think about man’s body ill be the first ass holl to comment
ill be sayin if i would date a fat ,skiny ,not buff , or which pines size he has to have to be my type why is it woman who always has to fit in those rediculess types
what ever u are ,is what u are, if u whant to change who u are, its up to u ,but no one has the right to tell u, that u are horrible and a bad persen becouse u are fat (fu*k u mister )
i smoke ? so are u gonna come to me in the streat and tell me i am kilin my self ther for i am bad persen???
smoke kils to u know , i know it ,stil it is non of no one’s fukin buessines
every persen is intiteld to have his /hers oun likes and dislikes
i might not date a fat man but (my firend wont date any thing but fat and big man ) but i would ever tell a persen he is horrible and bad becouse of the way he /she looks simply becouse it would be a lie !
i think this articole is bull btw stil i read it and finish it to so thought i might ass well comment
pease ~

frankisanass

Actually 20% of people with EDs die from them and the rate of recidivism for people who have already been treated is about 90%. So definitely, eating disorders are not often fatal.

really?

good job eddy, on being one of the only intelligent and open-minded people to make a point in this article…as for the rest of the men…not so much.

Ash

I want to marry Mike.

Ash

And Eddy.

A

Mike <3

I 100% agree with him, it's not someone's body but simply someone's smile that makes us stay awake at night, can't sleep because of thinking about him/her :)))

dearprudence

God, I hope Frank dies in a fire.

tom1234

i think its sick how models are so skinny they are covered in makeup and are on the edge of dying, its not attractive. Young girls are being forced to think this is the way to look when its not, they shouldnt have to starve to think they are beautiful. i will do anything to stop this image hurting more people. Models are not attractive in my eyes, not the skinny unhealthy way they are now. Its makes me feel ill looking at how they look, bones sticking out, no muscle and a suncken face.

LadyJustify

As someone who has been overweight all their life, even with regular works outs five days a week, and proper diet, it’s really hard being told constantly that you are worthless, unattractive, and unhealthy. I’m 24 now, and I can tell you it’s really easy to believe people, and not want to go outside, or be with people because you know you are disgusting. I’ve never had a serious long term relationship, because I always convince myself they can do better than my fat ass. And it was about a year ago that I realized people actually valued me as a person, and that I’ve accomplished great things, but it still hurts knowing I will always come home to an empty house.

currently recovering

“Fat” shouldn’t define a person. Yes, being overweight is unhealthy and I’m not saying it’s good. But developing eating disorders is not good either (directed to #7) Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate in all mental illnesses and can destroy a person’s life, do not tell me that eating disorders are rarely fatal. Do some research before saying things like that. Personally going through an eating disorder myself, it’s worse than you can possibly imagine. The body goes through extreme damage, organs can fail, cardiac arrest, etc, etc.