At this point, might I plug the advantages of having an advanced directive, or living will?

You need to make your wishes known FAR BEFOREHAND, and have them documented in a way that your children, and powers of attorney will know them. Otherwise, someone who is perfectly willing to dump you in a nursing home and maybe see you once a year, while you're kept alive by a feeding tube and a nutrient paste, while your brain turns to a sponge and your body breaks down in the most horrific and painful fashion you can imagine, and anything you once were has died a long time ago.

I'm 27. I've seen so much in the past 9 years of doing what I do that at my age, I have an Advanced Directive in the hands of people I trust.

KrispyKritter:euthanasia should be a right. sign up on the back of your license while your brain still works.

I've told my parents that were I diagnosed with Huntington's Disease or Alzheimer's, I would take my own life rather than end up dependant on a nursing home and some underpaid, probably abusive CNA to wipe my ass when I start talking about the Snow that fell in Memphis in 1987, or when I become a prisoner in my own body.

hardinparamedic:I've told my parents that were I diagnosed with Huntington's Disease or Alzheimer's, I would take my own life rather than end up dependant on a nursing home and some underpaid, probably abusive CNA to wipe my ass when I start talking about the Snow that fell in Memphis in 1987, or when I become a prisoner in my own body.

My dad said the same thing years ago when my grandma died with Alzheimer's. He's pretty forgetful these days. I hope he forgot he said that.

I've asked several people to shove me under a bus if I become senile. I don't want to be like that. I had a dog get old and lose her memory and not recognise the family. Senile as they come. We put her down when she started getting upset we were in the house because we were all strangers to her. That was mercy. But why can't we sign up in advance for the same kind of mercy? If I can't remember my family, I'm done, stick a fork in me already.

FYI- if you care for someone with dementia and you have to change them, do it from the side.Because much like a newborn, they will pee on you. It's a good think I hadn't already showered this morning so I could laugh at the situation. Still much better than cleaning up #2. MUCH.

farkingismybusiness:My dad said the same thing years ago when my grandma died with Alzheimer's. He's pretty forgetful these days. I hope he forgot he said that

In probably the only way I can describe it, that's the only blessing when it comes to Alzheimers. When I was working my way through EMT school, I was a CNA and part of my assignment was a married couple who both had it. The wife died first, I can't remember if it was a UTI or something else, but the husband stopped talking afterwords, and would cry all the time. This went on for about a year, and then, one day, he just stopped crying. When I asked him if he missed his wife, he answered "Who was that?"

So why not euthanize? Are you even a person anymore if you have no conception of your own humanity? I know I wouldn't want myself or my loved ones to live in an advanced state of dementia. Now, of course, that's if one is a total incapacitated vegetable, not just a bit off in the head.

kazikian:So why not euthanize? Are you even a person anymore if you have no conception of your own humanity? I know I wouldn't want myself or my loved ones to live in an advanced state of dementia. Now, of course, that's if one is a total incapacitated vegetable, not just a bit off in the head.

The best thing you can do is hope that the families get educated by a physician who has the patient's best interests in mind, and then refuse the placement of an NG or PEG Tube to feed them when they stop eating, and refuse IV fluids or medicine. Comfort measures only.

farkingismybusiness:hardinparamedic: I've told my parents that were I diagnosed with Huntington's Disease or Alzheimer's, I would take my own life rather than end up dependant on a nursing home and some underpaid, probably abusive CNA to wipe my ass when I start talking about the Snow that fell in Memphis in 1987, or when I become a prisoner in my own body.

My dad said the same thing years ago when my grandma died with Alzheimer's. He's pretty forgetful these days. I hope he forgot he said that.

The last few years of my grandpa's life, he worried that his mind was going. It wasn't. Sure, he'd slowed down a bit but he wasn't showing any purple monkey dishwasher signs. Short term and long term memory was sharp. We'd have long conversations, catching up on events since my last visit. I told him if he's worried about it at 86, he really doesn't need to worry about it. I think the odds are on my side. The men in my family tend to die in their 80s and 90s with sharp minds and full heads of hair.

hardinparamedic:farkingismybusiness: My dad said the same thing years ago when my grandma died with Alzheimer's. He's pretty forgetful these days. I hope he forgot he said that

In probably the only way I can describe it, that's the only blessing when it comes to Alzheimers. When I was working my way through EMT school, I was a CNA and part of my assignment was a married couple who both had it. The wife died first, I can't remember if it was a UTI or something else, but the husband stopped talking afterwords, and would cry all the time. This went on for about a year, and then, one day, he just stopped crying. When I asked him if he missed his wife, he answered "Who was that?"

I cared for my adoptive mom since i was a kid. She had early onset, well, kinda. She was born in 1915, adoptive dad 1934. They got me in 68. 80's onwards was hard, but in the 90s ( 1990's ) she started having conversations with a wall, and talking to her dead kids, and to doctors and nurses and even movers that were just not there. It got hard. One morning, the old man was pounding on my apt saying mom had fallen. This was about 0430. She was trapped between the comode and the wall in their bathroom. She was gone. Heartbeat, breathing etc good, but her eyes were non responsive. We have awesome paramedics and firefighters her, and we live close. They extracted her, ambulance/hospital/icu/hospice. She was in permanent vag state. The ct scans showed this was not her first stroke, but yes, it was the big one and she was not going to get better. And the old man had fallen apart. SHarp as a tack but he lost it. I waited on pulling the plug ( in this case stop forced feeding ) until I had contacted her surviving girls and had them make it out her from ny and md . I stopped it after they left, on the worse day possible- the day before their anniversary, it would have been their 30th. 2 weeks after the stroke incident . Old man never forgave me for killing her, and he went into a ward at the va hospital for a few months as he became basically catatonic.And then- one day, he got out.I drove him home. He was semi autistic acting at that point, but he was able to function. He was still mad at me, but he started throwing her things away.Theres a lot more, but I have already Tolstoiéd this big time. Dementia sucks

Oh, I dont regret pulling the plug, I regret not having the chance to make her fresh asparagus and salmon for lunch after they got back from church. She was so looking forward to that the night before.

If I get alzheimers or huntingtons or anything like that I want my family to keep me safe and alive so I can fight death to the bitter end.We only got this one life and I'll cling to it until it drags me screaming out of the gene-pool.

I've said this before but i'll say it again ( cause it's appropriate )

My youngest daughter volunteered to go to jail to help me end my life. We were having the conversation about it being illegal to help someone end their life and she said, without hesitation "oh I'd go to jail for you mum". That was when I knew everyone around me knew my wishes :)

jtown:farkingismybusiness: hardinparamedic: I've told my parents that were I diagnosed with Huntington's Disease or Alzheimer's, I would take my own life rather than end up dependant on a nursing home and some underpaid, probably abusive CNA to wipe my ass when I start talking about the Snow that fell in Memphis in 1987, or when I become a prisoner in my own body.

My dad said the same thing years ago when my grandma died with Alzheimer's. He's pretty forgetful these days. I hope he forgot he said that.

The last few years of my grandpa's life, he worried that his mind was going. It wasn't. Sure, he'd slowed down a bit but he wasn't showing any purple monkey dishwasher signs. Short term and long term memory was sharp. We'd have long conversations, catching up on events since my last visit. I told him if he's worried about it at 86, he really doesn't need to worry about it. I think the odds are on my side. The men in my family tend to die in their 80s and 90s with sharp minds and full heads of hair.

good to hear - My gramps was the same way, unfortunately he died of ALS. There is no way in hell i'm going out like that. Talk about a prisoner in your own body....

Funny how when the rest of the family found out there's not much money or how much a farking burden 24 hours a day to take care of her ... poof ... can't find them with a search warrant.

I've given up my life so this old woman who used to be my Mother can eat and take a shower now and then.

My advise for caregivers ... make sure you pay yourself a fair wage (adjust your tax withholding at your other job) from any funds they have, as long as it says you can in the power of attorney.

My attorney made sure I did this because you know what ,,, soon any money will be gone, I'll be exhausted, divorced and broke .. this way at least I'll have a little cash set aside for me to take a vacation when it's over.

alienated:hardinparamedic: farkingismybusiness: My dad said the same thing years ago when my grandma died with Alzheimer's. He's pretty forgetful these days. I hope he forgot he said that

In probably the only way I can describe it, that's the only blessing when it comes to Alzheimers. When I was working my way through EMT school, I was a CNA and part of my assignment was a married couple who both had it. The wife died first, I can't remember if it was a UTI or something else, but the husband stopped talking afterwords, and would cry all the time. This went on for about a year, and then, one day, he just stopped crying. When I asked him if he missed his wife, he answered "Who was that?"

I cared for my adoptive mom since i was a kid. She had early onset, well, kinda. She was born in 1915, adoptive dad 1934. They got me in 68. 80's onwards was hard, but in the 90s ( 1990's ) she started having conversations with a wall, and talking to her dead kids, and to doctors and nurses and even movers that were just not there. It got hard. One morning, the old man was pounding on my apt saying mom had fallen. This was about 0430. She was trapped between the comode and the wall in their bathroom. She was gone. Heartbeat, breathing etc good, but her eyes were non responsive. We have awesome paramedics and firefighters her, and we live close. They extracted her, ambulance/hospital/icu/hospice. She was in permanent vag state. The ct scans showed this was not her first stroke, but yes, it was the big one and she was not going to get better. And the old man had fallen apart. SHarp as a tack but he lost it. I waited on pulling the plug ( in this case stop forced feeding ) until I had contacted her surviving girls and had them make it out her from ny and md . I stopped it after they left, on the worse day possible- the day before their anniversary, it would have been their 30th. 2 weeks after the stroke incident . Old man never forgave me for killing her, and he went into a ward at the va hospi ...