Camels And Botox

Camels and Botox. Two subjects I never thought I would write about – or even see in the same sentence. Maybe now my writing will finally hit the big time. This is the silver bullet. Camels and Botox.

One trick I learned long ago about writing was unusual juxtaposition, or contrast. The smashing together of unlikely subjects, hero’s, situations, is a good thing. You see a colorful birthday hat on an elderly woman at a funeral. Go. Someone bites into a sandwich and finds a secret message. Go. You hear that people are cheating in the camel beauty contest by injecting their entrants with Botox to make them more appealing. Go.

Go no further. You just know it when you hear it. You just know. This is the one. This is the big time. This. Is. Gonna. Make. Me. Famous.

Then you learn someone has already thunk it up.

My dreams of the big-time were crushed today. On my search for sanity while driving up the highway I hunted for a station on the radio that wasn’t talking about government shutdowns and the like. My CD player is busted, so when there are commercials on the radio, I scan. When I heard, Up next, what do camels and Botox have in common? I was staying put, someone has stolen my silver bullet.

Apparently the Saudi’s are so hard up for entertainment they created a beauty contest for their camels. And the prize money was so big, plastic surgeons were paid to inject toxins into the contestants lips and noses. Twelve camels have been tossed out of the beauty contest. Twelve!

I guess it’s back to the elderly woman in the birthday hat. I just hope the funeral isn’t my own.

I am almost at a loss for words on this one! The smash-up for me would be for myself to inject a liquid form of itching powder into the multiples asses of not only the doctors involved in such unethical practices but also the Saudi asses who obviously do not know how to entertain people! Sal, I know this is a run-on sentence but hey, I’m watching The Amazing Race & can’t multi-task! 🙂

Well, this raises some untweezed eyebrows. What is the standard for a beautiful camel or dromedary? OK, I’m going back. . .way, way, back, but I always thought Barbara Stanwyck was a real beauty. I loved her voice, too. So, if I was judging this contest, I might pick the camel that looked most like Miss Stanwyck. My cousin would probably select one that looked like M.M. Hummm. Was this contest restricted to just lady camels? Look what you started, Sally.

Love this story, Sally! Though I must say that I hope this trend isn’t the start of some fresh hell on the self-esteem and image positivity of all the tiny baby camels out there watching. Let’s all make a (wobbly, wrinkly- kneed) stand for droopy, hairy lips and chins! But not those gross yellow teeth, tho. They’re on their own with that.