Omelettes, pretty wives and mating badgers... after Mourinho's eggs-cellent talk, here's Cantona, Holloway and more in our top 10 weird football quotes

From the moment he uttered those immortal words 'I am a Special One' it was clear that Jose Mourinho would be a font of sound biting quotes for time to come - and nine years later none of his powers for engaging (or sometimes enraging) have waned.

The Portuguese took the eve of his return to the Champions League with Chelsea to describe his players thus:‘They are eggs that need a mum or, in this case, a dad to take care of them, to keep them warm during the winter, to bring the blanket and work and improve them.

'One day the moment will arrive when the weather changes, the sun rises, you break the eggs and the eggs are ready to go for life at the top level.’

Mother hen: Jose Mourinho said he had to nurture his 'young, beautiful, eggs' at Stamford Bridge

Quite. Although it isn't only Mourinho who has a penchant for the odd and amusing when it comes to expressing views that often leave listeners on edge of their seats, despite confusedly scratching their heads...

Jose Mourinho

The Portuguese seems to have something of an egg obsession, although the last time he used an ovum based metaphor was under more acrimonious circumstances at Stamford Bridge.

Firing a parting shot that criticised owner Roman Abramovich for not investing in the squad before being forced out of the club in 2007, Mourinho said: ‘No eggs, no omelette. And it depends on the quality of the eggs.

Can you take a yolk? Jose Mourinho seems to have an obsession for egg-based metaphors

'In the supermarket, you have eggs class one, class two, class three. Some are more expensive than others and some give you better omelettes. So when the class one eggs are in Waitrose and you cannot go there, you have a problem.’

It's never been confirmed if he was serious or just telling a (ahem) yolk.

Rafa Benitez

He may be best remembered for his now infamous 'FACT!' rant at Sir Alex Ferguson, but Rafa Benitez was another foreign manager who had a thing for making football analogies based on breakfast ingredients.

Lotta bottle: Rafa Benitez used milk references to seemingly state the obvious

The former Liverpool manager answered Roy Hodgson's remarks on Kenny Dalglish's involvement in the club by saying: 'White liquid in a bottle has to be milk," - apparently, a Spanish phrase which means things are so obvious for everyone to see (except perhaps the meaning of the saying itself).

Benitez then followed this up when accused of having a poor transfer record and inheriting a poor squad by exclaiming: 'Some people can not see a priest on a mountain of sugar," - which again means something akin to stating the obvious without actually doing so.

Alex Ferguson

Even the godfather of football managers, Sir Alex Ferguson, wasn't averse to using food stuffs to make his point - at least when he wasn't complaining of 'noisy neighbours' or inventing his own posterior related catchphrases.

Mind games; Alex Ferguson usually knew exactly what he was doing when making comments

Before a Champions League game against a notoriously tricky Inter Milan side, the former Manchester United boss indulged in an opening course of mind games by saying: 'When an Italian tells me it's pasta on the plate, I check under the sauce to make sure. They are the inventors of the smokescreen.'

The irony that a statement like this was in itself a smokescreen to ensure the referee wasn't fooled by the Italians will not have been lost on the master of psychological tactics.

Bill Shankly

While Ferguson was well schooled in how to load his answers to get under his rivals' skin, another manager on Merseyside must have written the textbook.

No holding back: Bill Shankly never missed an opportunity to stick it to rivals Everton

Bill Shankly was Liverpool's greatest ever manager, and will also be remembered by Anfield fans for his cutting put downs of hated rivals Everton, which included this collection of pearls:

'If Everton were playing down the bottom of my garden, I'd draw the curtains.'

'When I've got nothing better to do, I look down the league table to see how Everton are getting along.'

And, 'This city has two great teams - Liverpool and Liverpool reserves.'

Brian Clough

Old Big Ead himself, Brian Clough was never short of sharing a few words - especially if they were being used to aggrandise himself while simultaneously feeding his legendary ego.

Old Big Ead: Brian Clough loved to talk... usually about himself

The former Nottingham Forest manager wasn't even scared to engage Fergie in a war of words, once saying before the then United manager had claimed a second European Cup: 'For all his horses, knighthoods and championships, he hasn't got two of what I've got. And I don't mean balls!'

And the testicular references didn't end there as, when discussing the influx of foreign players into the English game, he said: ''I can't even spell spaghetti never mind talk Italian. How could I tell an Italian to get the ball? He might grab mine'. How Brian may have fared in today's environment of political correctness does not deserve thinking about.

Ian Holloway

'Ollie' may have reinvented himself as a manager to be taken more seriously but there was a time when practically every utterance that came from his lips left a captive audience either bewildered or in stitches.

Think before you speak? The legend that is Ian Holloway is always worth listening too

Forget the tiny morsel of being 'more chuffed than a badger at the start of mating season' and feast on this description of an 'ugly' result against Chesterfield (delivered with that typically deadpan Bristolian accent for full effect).

'To put it in gentleman's terms if you've been out for a night and you're looking for a young lady and you pull one, some weeks they're good looking and some weeks they're not the best.

'Our performance today would have been not the best looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi. She weren't the best looking lady we ended up taking home but she was very pleasant and very nice, so thanks very much, let's have a coffee.’

Bobby Robson

While the late, great Sir Bobby Robson's virtual encyclopedia of quirky comments over the years could be mistaken for surreal philosophising, they were more likely just a case of age catching up with an old gentleman, which gave rise to these:

Foot in mouth disease: The great Bobby Robson was well renowned for making confused comments

'Alan Shearer has done very well for us, considering his age. We have introduced some movement into his game because he has got two good legs now. Last season he played with one leg.'

'Home advantage gives you an advantage.'

'Look at those olive trees! They're 200 years old - from before the time of Christ.'

Gordon Strachan

The wee man was another manager who had obviously missed the media training classes, much to the delight and amusement of anyone listening (except sometimes the commentator asking the question).

Wee man: Gordon Strachan has always been a master of giving interviewers a hard time

Here are just a few examples that have left reporters wishing they had chosen a different profession.

Reporter: 'Bang, there goes your unbeaten run. Can you take it?'

Strachan: 'No, I'm just going to crumble like a wreck. I'll go home, become an alcoholic and maybe jump off a bridge. Umm, I think I can take it, yeah.'

Reporter: 'So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough were better than you today?'

Strachan: 'What areas? Mainly that big green one out there...'

And, probably the finest one word answer in the history of football interviews.

Reporter: Gordon, can we have a quick word please?

Strachan: Velocity [walks off]

Arsene Wenger

Provided there hasn't been an incident that he has missed, Arsene Wenger usually gives well rehearsed and educated answers to questions (even if it sometimes appears as he is struggling to keep a straight face).

Musing: Even the usually straight laced Arsene Wenger is prone to the occasional slip of the tongue

However, even the erudite Frenchman has been occasionally drawn into using strange metaphors, especially when baited by enduring rivals. In response to Ferguson's jibe that Arsenal weren't deserving double winners in 2002 and United were the better team, Wenger simply answered: 'Everyone thinks they have the prettiest wife at home.'

And, he also reverted to the female form when describing his inability to convince a homesick Antonio Reyes to stay at Highbury.

'It's like you wanting to marry Miss World and she doesn't want you, what can I do about it? I can try to help you, but if she does not want to marry you what can I do?,' he said. The answer being to let Reyes leave and sneak Cesc Fabregas from Barcelona's youth academy.

And finally...

Finally, it is not only football managers who are renowned for linguistic conundrums and no other player's quote is more memorable than that of King Eric himself.

What was he on about? Eric Cantona's 'seagulls' statement is still met with bewilderment to this day

Upon greeting a packed press conference in the wake of receiving a lengthy ban for his kung-fu style kick on a Crystal Palace fan in 1995, Cantona read out the following statement before abruptly leaving the room.

'When the seagulls follow the trawler, it's because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea. Thank you very much.'

Quite what you make of the Cantona's musings should be determined by you but as Strachan later said: 'If a Frenchman goes on about seagulls, trawlers and sardines, he’s
called a philosopher. I’d just be called a short Scottish bum talking
crap'.