SF Bay Bridge new span to open months late due to busted bolts

The ongoing clusterfuck known as the eastern span of the San Francisco-Oakland Bay Bridge will not open on Labor Day, due to 32 massive bolts that cracked. Officials are confident the bridge will open sometime before the next millenium except if it doesn’t and that repairs will cost $15 million more except if it costs more.

“You can look at as our belt broke, and we are putting on some suspenders. We need to get the suspenders fabricated and installed”¦ we currently forecast that work will be done around about the middle of December”.

The span was supposed to open in 2003, so it’s already ten year later and nearly six times over budget.