Thursday, June 5, 2014

Grudgement Day: Beastie Boys and Jack White

*WARNING: Grudgement style language ahead*

"Jack White has just done a song for Coca-Cola. End of. He ceases to be in the club. And he looks like Zorro on doughnuts. He's supposed to be the poster boy for the alternative way of thinking… I'm not having that, that's fucking wrong. Particularly Coca-Cola, it's like doing a fucking gig for McDonald's." - Noel Gallagher

Oh sup man? You want to talk some shit?! It's a musical guest week here at Grudgement Day, my personal vendetta against all things I find BS. Apparently, Jack White of The White Stripes did an interview with Rolling Stone recently where his comments about The Black Keys, Adele, Lana Del Rey, Amy Winehouse and his own former wife and bandmate Meg White were heralded as insults. Shortly after, White offered a massive apology to all involved. It's not the first time White has lost his temper and then come crawling back like a puppy asking for forgiveness. There was the celebrity filled audience he called "hip mother fuckers" and chastised for not "rocking out" before apologizing at the end of the night. Then there was his take on the superficiality of Lady Gaga's music which he quickly explained was not an insult. Do you see a pattern forming here? I'm not much of a White Stripes fan but a little research tells me they were formed in 1997, released their first album in 1999 and after 6 albums, broke up in 2011. So let me get this straight, a guy who has been living the dream for over 20 years, made millions, has a fanbase and is world famous is apologizing for his opinion on other artists? What a bitch ass. Say what you feel and feel what you say, Jack! Aren't you a little too old and too rich to care?

This is just another reason why Noel and Liam Gallagher are awesome. Even in their early days, OASIS proclaimed to the biggest and the best band in the world. This instantly made them targets to naysayers and Don'ters but hey, they're in the Guinness Book of World Records as the UK's Most Successful Band for a 10 year span. Anytime a journalist asked them an honest or insult baiting question, the brothers Gallagher responded truthfully, not to come off as insulting but let's face it, nobody in the world likes everything or everybody so why act like it? Remember that time Noel's comments about Jay-Z playing Glastonbury were taken out of context and all of a sudden he was a racist, out of touch, old man? And did he apologize? Hell no! When asked, he simply reminded lazy journalists to refer to verbatim quotes where not a single derogatory thing was said about Jay-Z and it all went away and he's still a top selling artist. Ska-doosh! #NoGrandmaMode

A couple days ago, a blurb about The Beastie Boys and Arnold Schwarzenegger caught my eye. According to them, the marketing team of Arnold's Sabotage approached them with a lucrative offer to use their song of the same name in the movie's promotional efforts on TV in trailers, etc. The Boys turned down the offer, citing deceased member Adam Yauch's request that their music never been used in commercials or ad campaigns. Pretty highfalutin ideals coming from a trio of dudes whose music about
partying, girls and brass monkeys have become anthems for white,
suburban frat boys around the country. But it's fair, you don't want to turn into Coldplay or The Black Keys and have your shit blasted over everything from Network spots, NASCAR advertisements, and commercials for cars, computers, underwear and clothes to whatever else the fuck marketing low foreheads use trendy music for. But then they had to throw in a line about not being fans of Schwarzenegger's recent work. The Boys went on to state they can't make new music or tour or make money. So you won't sell yourself out or pursue new ventures but then you complain about not being able to make money. Sounds like self induced starving artist shit to me. Ironically, Sabotage is the only song of theirs I like, remember the music video?