The Travails Of An Aging Single Lady !

On my way back from work some time last year, I overheard a discussion between two ladies – one apparently married and the other single. The married lady seemed not to be happy over her friend’s choice of partner. According to her, he does not suit her status – academically and financially. But in response, the single lady unconsciously exclaimed : “am 42 for crying out loud!” Her exclamation actually aroused the attention of everybody in the bus. She added: “I know how long it took me to pin down this one.” From their discussion, it was revealed that the lady was actually older than her partner by seven years ! She raised serious issues like early menopause and shameas some of the her reasons for taking the decisions she did. She also said her younger sisters are all married.

Cases like this abound everywhere – that is, true lovebeing relegated to insignificance in crucial circumstances such as this. Then I asked : how long will this relationship last? Can a relationship whereby a lady has to “pin down” a guy for fear of waiting for so long again really stand the test of time? Will the guy not wake up one day and suddenly discover that he has been dating, or got married (if they eventually do) to his big “aunt”? What’s the point dating or getting married to someone without any iota of love existing between them? Is it a crime to be single? I am not aware of any law in the world that makes spinsterhood or bachelorhood a crime. I am only aware of societal and family pressures. Are these enough for a man or woman to place himself/herself on a life-time of “what did I do to myself?”

Too many questions already; yet I have more : which is better? – to stay single and be relatively happy or to “force” oneself into a relationship or marriage because of the age factor and then live a life of regrets? Well, in my own opinion, divorceis a whole kettle of problems on its own!

No doubt, my questions appear “simple”; but I know that they are questions, which, if not prayerfully and cautiously handled, can put one’s life through instalmental death! They are questions which an affected person needs the help of someone who knows the beginning and the end of every relationship. Such a person should be able to give an advice that can NEVER lead to regrets.

This is where God Almighty comes in. He is a perfect decision maker – no mistakes, no regrets, perfect timing and He knows your partner inside out. In these days of insincerity in relationships, one can do with some help from this omnipresent and caring father.

Choosing a life-time partner is one of the most delicate decisions that we all have to make in our journey through life. It calls for a lot of caution, wisdom and very importantly, a lot of prayers. When mistakes are made the consequences are usually not pleasant. The only people who would agree to this are those who are right now saying “had I known” or “Lord, quickly bring this nightmare to an end.”

God really cares for us if we seek His help in ALL circumstances. It requires a deliberate hand-over of our affairs to Him. And what do you get in return…

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” (Jere 29:11)

So, “Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.” (Psalm 37:5)

Michael M.

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