If you do opt to open an IRA, make sure you follow through and fund it. Arrange to have deposits automatically made into the plan each month. You'll be less likely to miss the money coming out of your day-to-day budget if you put savings on autopilot.

"When you take time off, you're putting all your eggs in somebody's basket, so you need to be sure there will be money there when you need it," says Hounsell. "If you're going to make the decision to stay home, and your spouse isn't willing to fund a retirement plan for you, maybe you need to rethink it."

4. Don't raid retirement funds to pay for a divorce.

Finding an attorney is one thing. Paying for their expertise is another, and many individuals find they've got to really stretch to cover the tab. A retirement fund is a tempting source of cash. But it's one that pros repeatedly caution against using.

"Borrow the money instead. Using retirement money is the worst and you never get it back. People think they will, but they never do," says Hounsell.

If you cash out of a retirement fund like a 401(k) or IRA, you'll owe a 10 percent early withdrawal penalty if you're younger than 59½, plus income taxes. Then there's the opportunity cost when you remove money that is compounding on a tax-deferred or tax-free basis.

While it's never good to run up debt, this may be one occasion that it's unavoidable, says Vasileff.

"Borrow from friends. Borrow from family. I had a client who sold her engagement rings, " she says. "But if you don't have assets or other options, you'll need to incur debt. With the 401(k) penalty and tax hit, it's better to use a credit card."

5. Gather all financial and retirement documents.

You can help keep costs in check by being prepared before you see an attorney. That means gathering up any records of investments, assets, retirement funds and the like. You can start with tax returns. They'll list such assets as bank accounts, dividends from investments in a brokerage account or IRAs.

Employer-sponsored retirement accounts can be tougher to identify because they're generally not listed on tax statements. If you have no idea what your spouse has been entitled to, you may need to do some digging. Log on to his or her employer Web sites to find out more about benefits offered. Federal law also requires public companies to supply workers with a personal statement of benefits, so try to track those down. Go through your files at home, and don't forget about previous jobs, either.

"One of the most frequently missed assets is a pension from a prior employer," says Whitlatch. "I ask my clients, 'Where did he work before? How long? Was there a pension?'"

6. Understand how divorce will affect your Social Security benefits.

If you've been married for at least 10 years you may be entitled to half of your spouse's Social Security benefits. But like anything else, there's some fine print.

If you've earned Social Security benefits of your own, you can claim the greater of either your personal benefits or half of your former spouse's, but you can't claim both. To get an estimate of those benefits, go online to www.ssa.gov.

Remarrying also will disqualify you from claiming your ex-spouse's Social Security. On the other hand, if he or she remarries, you'd still be able to claim your share.

7. Get smart about retirement plans.

Retirement assets, whether a pension, annuity, stock options, a 401(k) or other benefits that amass during the course of a marriage, are considered marital property. Does that mean they'll automatically be split 50-50? Not necessarily.

"Equitable does not mean equal," says Vasileff. "If you have people who are close to retirement, and they've been in a long-term marriage, it's more than likely the assets will be shared equally. But if a couple is in their early 40s with little kids and a short-term marriage, it depends."

That's where negotiations, and careful documentation, come into play.

Qualified retirement plans, which include things like a 403(b), 457, 401(k) or profit-sharing plan, are divided using what's called a qualified domestic relations order, or QDRO. As their name implies, these documents specifically instruct retirement plan administrators how to distribute benefits to a spouse who hasn't participated in the plan but is claiming his or her share in a divorce. It's up to a lawyer representing the spouse who makes the claim to prepare the order properly.

8. Protect your survivor benefits.

One thing you'll need in a QDRO are so-called survivor benefits. These ensure you continue receiving benefits after your spouse dies. Just because you get benefits when your former husband or wife is alive doesn't mean you'll continue receiving them when they die. You've got to make sure your lawyer has specifically asked for them. In come cases, attorneys have failed to do so and an individual who was counting on benefits has watched them vanish.

"It's one of the worst scenarios possible," says Hounsell.

Another way to safeguard survivor benefits is to make sure the QDRO is drafted and accepted by the retirement plan before the divorce is finalized. If something happens to your ex-spouse in the time that the divorce goes through and the QDRO gets approved by his or employer, you'll wind up with nothing.

In a perfect world, papers don't get lost and everything runs smoothly. But life isn't seamless.

If you're claiming benefits from your former spouse, make sure the QDRO was received and accepted by his or her retirement plan administrator. Has that survivor benefit been included? Your attorney has the responsibility to follow up, but if you're smart, you'll also make sure the job has been done right.

"Don't assume your attorney is going to know what is in your own best interests unless you tell them," says Vasileff.

Are you worried about having enough money to retire someday? Or, do you have a plan of action? Share your story

Bankrate wants to hear from you and encourages thoughtful and constructive comments. We ask that you stay focused on the story topic, respect other people's opinions, and avoid profanity, offensive statements, illegal contents and advertisement posts. Comments are not reviewed before they are posted. Bankrate reserves the right (but is not obligated) to edit or delete your comments. Please avoid posting private or confidential information, and also keep in mind that anything you post may be disclosed, published, transmitted or reused. We do not permit the inclusion of hyperlinks in comments and may remove any comment that includes a hyperlink.

Bankrate.com is an independent, advertising-supported publisher and comparison service. Bankrate may be compensated in exchange for featured placement of certain sponsored products and services, or your clicking on certain links posted on this website.