Today is the day we're most likely to cheat. So how do you avoid temptation? Rosie Mullender has the answers...

It's official: 7 January will be the most adulterous day of 2013. A poll by Illicitencounters.com reveals that today – when most of us are back at work – is the day we're most likely to sign up to their married dating site for extra-marital sex.

Which is a sorry state of affairs – literally. As far as I was aware, the vows go, 'For richer, for poorer, for better, for worse,' Not, 'For richer for poorer, except during the post-Christmas come-down when I might try to recapture a sense of festive wonder by getting hot and heavy with Daniel from accounts.'

You might be feeling a bit frumpy after one too many mince pies, and emotionally deflated after a fortnight of holiday hedonism, but if you really can't resist straying, it might be time to look at your relationship. Do you really want to stay with someone if you don't care enough to be faithful? And if you do care, how can you avoid the (chiselled) jaws of temptation?

Step 1: Think about what you have to lose. Imagine your partner finding out you've cheated, his reaction, and how you'd feel. Imagine if you broke up. If you think it would be sad, but maybe for the best, then it's likely your relationship has run its course. That's still no excuse for cheating, of course – you risk causing your partner far more long-term emotional pain. It might be tough to face, but it's far fairer to end the relationship honestly before seeking your kicks elsewhere.

Step 2: If you decide you definitely don't want to break up with him, but still want to cheat, convincing yourself that you won't get caught is fruitless. In this electronic age, it's very difficult to cover your tracks entirely – so if you do embark on an affair, you'd better be prepared for him to find out unexpectedly and deal with the fallout. Even if he doesn't find out, you have to live with the guilt. And telling yourself that it'll be a one-off / scratch an itch / make you appreciate what you've got are just excuses. It's much more likely to widen any existing cracks in your relationship.

Step 3: If you're tempted to stray but still love your partner, avoid temptation at all costs. Yes, it hurts. But staying away – right away – from the person you want to get naked with is essential. If it's someone you've developed a friendship with, explain that you feel an attraction and need to keep your distance. He'll probably already know how you feel, and will hopefully respect your decision. And if you simply want to get naked with anyone who's not your partner, it might be time to plan more cosy nights in...

Step 4: Remember what you've got. Draw up a list of your partner's positives, to remind yourself what you'd potentially be losing if you had an affair. Okay, he might not seem to match up to the object of your lust right now, but imagine picking up his pants a few years down the line. All relationships move from that stomach-swooping phase eventually. For a quick masterclass in grass-is-greener thinking, we recommend watching the film Take This Waltz.

Step 5: Work out what you really want. Remember the early days when you were so in love you didn't have time to even glance at another man? What's changed since then? If there's someone who's caught your eye, what is it about them that makes you want to stray? The promise of exciting sex, someone who listens, or more fun? Identify what it is he's offering that you're hankering for, and you'll know what needs to change.

Step 6: So, how do you inject some of what's missing into your relationship? If you feel neglected, let him know you'd like to spend more time together and plan some fun nights out. If you feel like he's no longer listening to you, sit him down, explain how you feel, and agree to spend ten minutes a day taking it in turns to listen (without comment) to what the other person has to say. And if you need to re-ignite the sexual spark? Your latest copy of Cosmo should come in handy!

And if you can't resist temptation or face dumping him? Read our tongue-in-cheek guide to making him dump youhere...

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