Why is Pornography Bad?

Pornography. It seems like it’s more and more becoming the subject of conversation, particularly on social media. And with stupendous organizations, such as OUR Rescue, freeing sex slaves and an absurd BDSM movie like Fifty Shades of Grey slated for wide release, it’s clear there are still a lot of opposing views about it.

You of course know that pornography and sex-trafficking are totally linked, right? They’re linked partly in that the word pornography is a modern variation, essentially, of prostitute. They’re also linked in that frequent users of pornography tend to drive the market for sex-trafficking. What’s more, a large number of the actors in pornographic content, particularly the girls, are forced into this work as slaves.

You also have studies coming out that show that pornography addiction works a lot like drug addiction, activating the same brain centers and hormones as drugs. It’s an illness. More studies are showing that frequent consumption of pornography is damaging to the psyche, to relationships, and to society. Heck, even GQ- an otherwise almost entirely useless magazine- published a short piece: Ten Reasons Why You Should Quit Watching Porn.

Then there are the religious reasons to not consume pornography. Here are some:
1. It is disrespectful and demeaning of God’s daughters in that it objectifies them and defines them simply as sex objects. All members of the family of God deserve respect, love, and support.
2. Viewing pornography violates laws regarding chastity: that men and women should only have sexual relationships with the man or woman to whom they’re legally married.
3. Viewing pornography debases and cheapens the extraordinary gift of a sexual relationship. This relationship provides opportunities for women and men to be sacredly intimate, as well as to make children.
4. Continuing number 3, viewing pornography is a perversion of the commandment to multiply and have families. The sexual relationship makes kids unless action is taken to prevent such a thing. It also brings husband and wife closer, so that builds and strengthens families too.

I’m sure there are other religious arguments against pornography. Please feel free to list them in the comments.

What these religious arguments boil down to is that viewing pornography is a sin. Now, that leads me to ask, what is ‘sin?’

I’m not a religious authority. I am very devoted to my faith and to the church that I belong to. This devotion to the promises I’ve made has been the prime drive behind most of my choices and actions over the last 22 years. I’ve studied doctrine, pondered a lot, and prayed, much like millions of other religious folks.

I proudly claim the doubts that have been a part of my religious journey, and which evolve and are replaced with new questions even today.

So now back to ‘sin.’ What is it? It’s hard to really just define it, so we often try to compare it to something. You’ve got the metaphor of sin being a dirtying element to our souls. When we sin, we become unclean and no unclean thing can dwell in the presence of God. So we have to have our soul washed clean through the blood of the Lamb: Jesus Christ.

But I’ve been unclean and have felt the undeniable presence of God. I’ve been at my very lowest, my very weakest, my most humbled and feeling absolutely filthy– and I have felt God’s Spirit, comfort, and guidance. And frankly, Christ in both his mortal and then resurrected form stood in the presence of unclean people. You know what else? We’re commanded to be perfect, to aspire to perfection in this life, but we and God know that we won’t make it. So we’re going to be in His presence while imperfect and unclean. He’s not going to turn us away, because remember: He loves us. All of us.

Thus, I’m not satisfied with the metaphor of sin being a dirtying element. And I think the use of language like ‘unclean’ is a good try, but ultimately a human, imperfect try at describing how sin affects our relationship and proximity with God.

But it’s still undeniable that pornography is bad, despite what some sex therapists try to tell us. It’s still certain that consuming pornography affects us on every level: spiritual, emotional, and physical. And for religious people who believe in making and keeping promises of ‘worthiness,’ consuming pornography often takes a very profound emotional toll on them.

On us, I should say. Yes, I’m revealing a thing here. I spent many years addicted to pornography. I am no longer. Addiction experts push the idea of ‘Once an addict, always an addict,’ and while I believe that this is partly true, I know with certainty that we can be totally and completely healed of addiction. That doesn’t mean we don’t have to be on our guard, but it does mean that the burden of this addiction and the powerlessness that accompanies it can be removed and we can be made whole. I know this.

And that leads me perfectly to what I believe is so bad, spiritually and emotionally, about pornography. I believe when we consume pornography, we know that we are doing something contrary to what we know is right. And when the addiction casts its spell over us, we feel less. We feel inadequate. We feel consumed by secrets. We feel that this secret, which so many refer to as a filthy habit, defines us.

Which becomes a vicious, disempowering cycle. And I think we can change the way we talk about pornography and addiction to pornography, and thus help thousands of people really understand how to free themselves from it.

I’m going to end this post now, but I’ll be back. Let me leave some thoughts with you before I go: Why do we tell our society to stop objectifying women, and men sometimes, while at the same time making people feel out of place for trying to overcome pornography addiction? Odd dichotomy? What is that mixed signal doing to people?

Why do we make those struggling to overcome pornography consumption feel terrible about the temptation it offers? Temptation is not wrong. How we handle temptation is where we can get in trouble.

Me being attracted to women is not wrong. Me allowing that attraction to determine my behavior is wrong.

Help me get my next post out quicker: What do you think about the sin metaphor of ‘dirty?’ Can you think of a better one? A worse one?

3 Comments

Melinda Morley
on February 11, 2015 at 8:37 pm

I think of sin as more as a separating, or distancing, of ourselves from God because of our actions or lack of understanding. Repentance isn’t just about becoming clean, but moving toward Him and becoming like Him. We remove the barriers when we learn who He is because we are like HIm. Repentance is taking action, changing direction, and facing toward God.

I remember once in the late 80s on a classic Sunday afternoon hike with your stepdad Paul Eckhoff and Anthony Gleeson the subject of Paul’s new boots came up. We were in his bad ass ’84 Mercedes Benz Galendawagen Jeep, in the middle of nowhere ontop of the Vermillion Cliffs. Paul was saying to Anthony he found his new boots “in a porno mag”. I was in the back seat and leaned forward: “I’m sorry, did you just say you found your boots in a “porno” mag?” “Yes” Paul replied, ” that hunting gear catalog, what’s it called?….Cabella’s” I burst out laughing. “Looking at a little tits and ass, that’s harmless” Paul expalined. “…but Cabella’s, that sh*t will rot your mind for all eternity.” I’ve never forgotten that. What he taught me that day is pornography is in the eye of the beholder.

For David, son of Freddy and Faith, real pornography is an ISIS filmed hostage decapitation, or film of a burning Jordanian pilot. Or perhaps gun camera footage from an Apache attack helicopter as a dozen Taliban are reduced to a pile of hamburger by 20mm cannon fire, their blood glowing red hot on the thermal imaging camera. I remember in Boston, in the early 70’s some time, opening a history book of World War II at the library and seeing a large pile of bodies at Auschwitz, all of them naked and skeletal. I noticed since they had been starved to death it was impossible to determine the sex of any individual. But I knew at once they were people, human beings like you or me, conceived in a sexual act, raised by people who presumably loved them. Even as a six year old I could instantly grasp that. Looking at that photo was like looking at all the porn in the world, at once. I then began to draw piles of bodies, naked twisted an skeletal. I did this for at least a year, hiding them from “the grown ups”. I knew it was porn, evil and wrong, but I had to do it. To understand, you see. Then your brother Daniel found a Playboy in a neighbors garage and showed it to me. He thought it was hilarious, and I found it instantly healing. I stopped drawing piles of Holocaust victim’s bodies and began drawing naked women, careful to put Indian feathers in their hair. Because, if they weren’t squaws, what was the point?

Some argue that pornography is degrading. I would agree, but only because sex is also degrading. Think of any other act that involves the exchange of bodily fluids, and it would likely seriously gross you out. But God, Heavenly Father, Mother Nature has tricked your brain into thinking this activity perfectly ok, but recall he/she/it also had to invent the orgasm in order to get you to do it.

As for sin, well again sin is a isolated cultural phenomenon. What is sin to you as a Mormon is not sin to a Evangelical Christian, a Catholic, a Muslim, or a Jew. Or, an ex Founder and Process Child of the Corn like me. Sin clearly is also in the eye of the beholder. I would like to make it a sin to watch footage of an ISIS decapitation, or animals being shot on the hunt, but youtube is full of both.

In other words, bada bing, bada boom. You are born, then you live, then you die.

David, I can’t thank you enough for this comment. What a great look at an extraordinary perspective. I couldn’t agree more that anything that degrades a human, that rots the brain, that demeans life, is strictly awful. Thank you again.