Beautiful Problem

C4C. This song i wrote whil i was sitting at school and i saw my friend all upset and **** i dont know why exactly but these words came to my head so i wrote them down please tell me what you think.C4C.

Verse: Life is a beautiful problem With so many things to be shared Life should be without problems Left with nothing to be spared

Chorus:So just wake up and smell the fumes Wake up and see what its doing to you Life if is war so pack your s*** and let’s fight Waking up with that honesty That isn’t really there Just living another day in your life That’s is your beautiful problem

I like the verse alot, only crit with the verse would be, using problem twice for a rhyme, im sure u can find another word.. The chorus is very good.. The first too lines are great, the only crit i hav is the third line.. I dont really think it flows as well, and it seems a bit out of place, but i can see it is important..

Overall, this is a gr8 start to a possibly gr8 song..Keep expandin the idea and i think you'll have a gr8 piece...

There are some spelling and grammar problems. I didn't really like the second verse/chorus. The first was good though. I think you could definitely expand on your ideas a little more. Paint a picture with your words.