RL bitching

So, nearly got into a bit of a fight with the Mom as she watched some promo thing about the Oliver Stone 9/11 movie.

For the record: I am not seeing it.

I did go see Fahrenheit 9/11 when it came out, mostly because it was talked about a lot and I was genuinely curious - it's the movie that sparked off a sudden burst of ultra-liberalism that was pretty much crushed come the '04 elections. Heh.

Were I not lazy, I might change my party affiliation to Independent - but then I won't be able to vote in primaries. Meh. Speaking of elections, it doesn't even matter voting-wise, my Representative (a Republican) is getting voted back in easy even though he pisses me off more than half the time.

And Hillary Clinton ain't exactly facing any real opposition.

I'll still vote, it's just not going to end in me being horribly shocked the next morning. Which is a good thing, I guess.

Anyway, so this movie, it's the usual bullshit of how important this movie is and how there needs to be a record and I'm taking care of laundry and I say to my mom, in a very obnoxious voice, "You're not seeing that, are you?"

I probably also said "I'd lose respect for you if you went to see that" because I'm in a bitchy mood and was annoyed at her because of a fight (or rather, a ten minute long rant she screamed at me) last night.

So we started arguing and I said shit I shouldn't have said - saying, "Oh yeah? This is important like The Passion of the Christ? Made by an antisemitic misogynist?"

I then ranted about how the real images - the real records of That Day - those were already captured. The stories of the real people are available in documentaries, in photos, in news reports, in books, online. It's such a highly emotional subject for me and because I'm annoyed at her defending this movie, I just attacked and kept on being a total asshole.

I don't even know how to explain it other than this - I don't need a movie to tell me about how brave and noble and fragile and human people were and how awful that day was and how people strove to rise above it. I lived it, I felt it, I wept and mourned. Then I hoped somehow we'd fix things. And that didn't happen.

That didn't happen at all.

Now it's used as a political tool, as a tourist site, as an event. It's being fought over for development deals and for raking in cash. Politicians use it as a rallying cry and then cut funds for New York because "there are no landmarks" in the city and we really need to defend a fucking ball of twine in the middle of the country.

I had to drive past funerals for weeks after that day, hearing the familiar bells - the only differences in the funerals were if a cop or firefighter had died - you'd see the cop cars or the firetrucks.

I stupidly watched 9/11: In Memorium when HBo aired it and cried at all the lost, at the hysteria, at the disbelief. Listened to a story of a woman in Mayor Giuliani's cabinet, her husband a firefighter, she knew he would be in the second tower and when it fell, she was outside, grabbing at dust, at fragments, because she knew, she knew, he was gone.

Jesus Christ.

Why the fuck do I need a movie to offer me catharsis about that day?

And this is all my opinion, I am sure that there are others who do want to see this movie. Hell, maybe in ten year's time, I'll be able to watch it. But now?

No. Now is the time for stories, but for me, September 11, 2001 has become distorted into a twisted fairytale, used as fucking spin for a government that is at the very least, deeply corrupt, and now is being made into a goddamn Hollywood Blockbuster movie with easy recognizable heroes.

While I did not see United 93, I did hear excellent reviews and it did garner the blessings of the families of those who died.

But a movie that is built on the easy world of Hollywood movies - and do not misunderstand me, I do enjoy that world, but I love to escape in it - that makes my blood boil. It just feels irresponsible and who knows, maybe that won't be the case, maybe I'm wrong. Yet if I follow the truthiness spectrum, if I follow my gut (and my heart), I just can't help but be incredibly pissed that this movie was made. That it uses an angsty Coldplay song (Fix You) that I will now have to associate with this movie.

Mostly because what was is that EVERYONE said when they watched those planes hit the towers?

"It was like something out of a movie."

A numb reaction. Horrified that it could be real. Because it seemed to be beyond reality. But it happened.