Noel Gallagher Should Be The Pied Piper

I always knew Noel Gallagher of Oasis was awesome, but apparently he just slapped me in the face and taught me what awesome is really all about. According to The Sun UK, Gallagher is selling his $11 million summer home located on the Spanish island of Ibiza because it is just too damn close to James Blunt.

“He’s fed up of hearing James Blunt bang on about Ibiza like he owns the place. It’s taken the charm out of it for him so he’s put his villa up for sale. It’s very close to Blunt’s place, and he says he can’t stand the thought of Blunt writing cr*p tunes up the road.”

As you should all be well aware, Noel Gallagher is no pansy. James Blunt, on the other hand, may be the fairest cream puff to ever make 43-year old women hot and bothered in the doctor’s office’s waiting room. So, while it would make perfect sense if Gallagher decided one day to just push Blunt off the cliff he always seems to be crying atop, Blunt and his songwriting managed to be annoying enough that the mere thought of bumping into him anywhere on the entire goddamn island drove Gallagher to move the hell off it. Awesome.

And since when does the UK censor “crap”? When the cr*p tunes are so offensive to the human ear, that’s when.