Why Dogs Shouldn’t Blog

Many of you know I am undergoing the transition from human to canine. You can check out my previous blog about it here. It’s a process that involves lots of shots: distemper, rabies, fleas, ticks, ear mites, Sasquatch detection, etc. As a transpecied person it is hard to endure the endless hours of class room training I must go through on such canine topics as growling, barking, scratching, sniffing, begging, licking, whining, digging, escaping, jumping, climbing, rolling, stealing, peeing, eating, running, fetching, healing and squirrel chasing. I know in the long run I will be much happier as a dog instead of a human.

My biggest issue transitioning from human to canine is that as a dog I really do not think I should blog anymore. It’s just not right. Dogs have dogs things they should be doing (see above classes I am taking) and people have human things they should be doing – never the two should collide. It is like that reality show Toddlers and Tiaras. Those are just little girls (well little girls and that 1 little sissy boy) and not beauty queens. The little girls should be left alone to be little girls and not dress them up and slap lipstick on them like a pre-teen slut Miley Cyrus. Which also brings up the issues of sweaters for dogs. We’ve all seen them. Funny yes, for the humans that is. But I must defend how awkward and down right embarrassing it is for the canines to have to parade down Main street wearing a bright yellow rain slicker during a sudden down pour. As a dog-wannabe I can tell you that if it is raining I don’t want my sorry ass out getting wet, so you can ixnay the raincoat and let me finish my nap, thank you very much.

Do we really want a bunch of dogs taking over our blogosphere telling us all of the real trivial bits and pieces of their lives? Do we need 5000 different blogs to tell us the best way to bury a bone? Do we need to look at 17,500 blogs about ways to prepare kibble? And I do not think we need 200,000 different blogs with mommy dogs showing pictures of their cute little puppies. What’s next? A Facebook site for dogs? Oh crap, that has already happened and I see Sunny has his own page! Sunny’s Dogbook Page.

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6 thoughts on “Why Dogs Shouldn’t Blog”

I think dogs actually have a lot of things to say. I’d really like to know how they decide which spots to pee on and how they get round the awkwardness of butt sniffing. And why do they always howl when people play the accordion?

There are tens of thousands of humans posting random rubbish on blogs all over cyberspace. What difference is a few thousand dogs going to make. It’s a free country anyway, or at least in theory it is.