Meltdowns

I have shared before that my son has Sensory Processing Disorder here. I shared about the diagnosis, how I just knew that something was wrong, and therapy. I haven’t written much about our experiences since then but today I want to share about meltdowns. All children have meltdowns from one extreme to another. When you have a child with SPD your going to have meltdowns.

Imagine having clothing that bothered you so much it was intolerable.

Imagine the stress of having to get your finger nails clipped or a hair cut.

Imagine the panic of having mud, dirt, or paint on your hands and the average child would just wipe it on their shirt or get a napkin, a child with SPD could have a full on inconsolable meltdown from the mess.

Imagine having to cover your ears every time the room was filled with too much noise.

Imagine having to cut every tag out of your clothing and your socks have to fit just right around your toes in your shoes.

Imagine having to change your clothes 6 times until the clothing felt just right.

Imagine crying and shielding your eyes from the sun and other bright lights.

Imagine crying intensely when having to try new foods because you’re so focused on the color, smell, or texture of the food.

You may think this extreme if you have never experienced a child with SPD or you may be agreeing with everything I listed and more because you relate.

Today we had a rough “sensory” day as I like to call it. Things just aren’t quite fulfilling for my son and he tends to be bothered and have little meltdowns throughout the day which always lead to meltdown city. As a mom of SPD, I am in no way giving doctor’s advice or expertise, just a mom who experiences SPD day in and out, here’s a little of my world.

We were leaving for school and as I was pulling out of the drive away, with no warning, my son burst into screams that he didn’t like his shirt. He is getting older and recognizing his likes and dislikes he can communicate them to me. but in extreme ways. It was a dry fit shirt, which he usually loves, but it had some sort of stitching that went down the side that only bothers him with a seat belt on in the car. Well I had forgotten this morning. I tried to explain he wouldn’t be wearing a seat belt at school but that made it worse. So I got him a new shirt and he was better.

We got through school and dealt with a few issues at home and then we went to meet some friends at a new gym. He went right out there and was participating and appeared to be having fun. I was holding my daughter who was very upset about gymnastics and trying it. She deals with separation anxiety and does not want me to leave her ever. Out of no where my son comes running over and tucks himself down in my lap saying I want to go home, I don’t like it here, and crying. I asked what was wrong and he wouldn’t answer me. The only way I could calm him down was to say ok we can leave. He felt insecure and I needed to help him feel comfortable and safe.

My daughter was very upset and I had two screaming kids in the car. I know all of us moms can relate their SPD or not. I got them buckled and hugged and kissed both trying to calm them down. My son finally settled down and I asked him again what was wrong. He shared with me the place smelled {which smells are one of his most sensitive areas} and he also didn’t know how to do a cart-wheel. {insert sad face from mom}

We had plans to go dinner as a family but he decided he wanted to stay home. Our night ended with familiar sounds, smells, and back scratches, and snuggles. And yes one exhausted mama.

Sometimes I feel hopeless during these meltdowns especially when it is trying something new or experiencing everyday life adventures with other kids. They are far in between as he gets older and learn to deal with them and see the signs leading up to them. However, I have learned a few things along the way I would love to share.

Meltdowns are going to happen. Don’t act surprised or try to stop them in the process. Most of the time they don’t even realize what we are saying or doing and they can’t process us trying to stop the meltdown. Be patient and ride it out with them.

Know your child’s likes and dislikes such as clothing materials, smells, weather can play a factor on the whole day, and sounds. Have a “safe” place for the meltdown if possible. I used to have to sit in the car with him while we were out to let him get through it until we could talk about it. It takes away the stress of people staring at you in the store and then having that to worry about too.

Trust your maternal/paternal instincts. You are your child’s parent and you know what your instincts are telling you. Read about it and learn about SPD as much as possible too. I am still learning about it myself. SPD is not just cut and dry. There are lots of different symptoms and your child’s brain is not always processing the right information which affects all types of sensory.

Encourage. Encourage. Encourage. I can’t stress that enough. Encourage them to share with you how they are feeling. Encourage them to try new things, and it may take years until they actually will! I have even had my son try something new said he loved it and the next day refuse! I was so excited but then I felt defeated but really it was amazing that he did try, so I keep encouraging. Encourage new environments. Praise them when they do try even if there is a meltdown. Tell them how proud you are.

Meltdowns are a constant cycle with SPD. Your child may go weeks or months with out one or he/she may have just had nine straight days of meltdowns and your exhausted. Honestly, today was exhausting for me as a mom but I have learned more patience, compassion, understanding through this journey.

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