6 Weird Pitches For Eli Roths Blockbuster

No aliens or giant robots? What if he pitched...

GIANT WOMAN ATTACKS CITY!

Eli’s Pitch: “Okay, so this chick gets a dose of radiation – not cosmic radiation, just regular evil radiation from somewhere like Chernobyl.

“She grows to about 52 feet high (don’t want to get sued by anyone) and starts rampaging around Los Angeles.

“At one point, she steps on a cinema that’s playing Hostel Part II. I think it’ll be cathartic for me, and a funny in-joke.” Possible star: Ellen Page Studio preferred title: Lady Killer

PrevPage 1 of 6Next PrevPage 1 of 6Next

SEA MONSTOID!

Eli’s Pitch: “It’s not fair how Scotland has that giant beast – LA deserves one all of its own.

So how about this – two creatures from an animal-testing lab escape and mate. It’s a fish and a crab and thanks to the chemicals injected into its parents, the offspring grows to huge proportions.

Soon, shipping is being disrupted and then it comes ashore at Venice beach and terrorizes the place. It would be beyond awesome!” Possible star: Matthew Broderick (kitschy Godzilla in-joke alert!) Studio preferred title: Crab Meat

PrevPage 2 of 6Next PrevPage 2 of 6Next

NANOBOTS!

Eli’s Pitch: “Instead of thinking big all the time, I’m thinking small – and then big!

I don’t want to go down the virus road, that’s sooo played out. Instead, a crazy scientist releases a load of tiny robo-creatures that devour everything in sight.

It’d be sort of like how Gort took stuff down in that new The Day The Earth Stood still, but about a billion times cooler. And on the unrated DVD, we’d have the flesh being torn off people! We’ll see a gazillion copies!”

Possible star: Dakota Fanning. Love that kid. Love her even more as a child genius who figures out the ‘bots weakness – peanut butter! Studio preferred title: Killer Apps