Pages

Monday, December 26, 2011

December is a time to prepare...

Every December, I can't believe it's December. Yesterday seems like June to me and with each year, it seems to go by faster and faster. Last year, God really put it on my heart that winter is for resting. And last year, I was able to do that pretty well. This year, I do believe winter is still for rest but I am finding it harder to get myself there. It seems like this year, getting prepared is what rings in my heart and in my ears.

As I think about getting prepared for the year to come, I am so overwhelmed at looking back on the one I am stepping past. So many blessings. So many opportunities. So many gifts. So many moments. So many challenges. So many truths. And I am about to step into another year, quietly waiting... full of promise, growth, trials, opportunities, moments, lives, relationships, joys, tears, chances.

I want to embrace it. And I want to be prepared. I want to receive every opportunity, chance, and moment that God gives me with open hands. And I want to be thankful in it. I want to see Christ in it. I want to get closer to Him in it. I want to serve Him in it. And I want to joyful and content it.

I have been deeply touched by Ann Voskamp and her book, "One Thousand Gifts." Her blog has been speaking to me for most of the year, but her book is calling me and challenging me to take the dare. And I accept it with open hands.

My blog has gone from just updates on the kids to decorating to newsletter to journal. It is one of my favorite outlets to use to give glory to my Father and Savior. How can I not share what He has done and continues to do in my life? I have told Him again and again that I would shout it from the rooftops... His greatness... how personal He is... how mighty and active and real and alive and audacious! And this has become my rooftop.

So on January 1st, my blog will include my journey to One Thousand Gifts. And I pray that just as Ann has inspired by sharing her journey, someone will be encouraged by mine.

Tomorrow, we pick up a host child that we will host for the next two and a half weeks. We receive this with open hands and can't wait to see what God has in store for her and for us! And when this little one flies back to Latvia on January 12th, I will fly back with her and the other children. I will be going to the orphanages to meet with directors and build relationships. I will love on children and tell them about Jesus and His love for them. I will interview them and photograph them so they can be listed on the summer host program of 2012. And I will receive this with open hands... taking every moment and opportunity He gives me and embracing it for His glory.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

We cut our strips and then tied two between each light. The girls were giddy! And I have to admit... SO WAS I! It turned out better than I could have imagined.

T put hers on her window! We think it will stay up for a LONG time! It goes with the colors in her room perfectly and she LOVES the color and light!

It really is crazy how adorable it is!

A has two windows instead of one and so we ran hers across her shelf... several times! It's a tad bit messier than I would prefer (a shorter strand would have been better here) but she totally loves hers too!

And A's is pretty special to me because I used a pair of her bloomers from when she was little (the yellow and white check) that I had in the scrap fabric box! She also has some vintage pillow case fabric from a dear friend (Shell), purple fabric from another dear friend (Erin) and some other cool "stories" in her strand!

And since this is our second year to not "do Christmas," it was the perfect way to use the lights as I remind/teach them we are to be the light in this dark world everyday of the year!

And you can't have a fun craft day without the baked cookies!

And these yummy, amazing, crazy, can't get enough ever pretzles... well... they were for ME! But I did share them!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

December is for hosting...

children. Children who don't have a family.

Last night was holy ground in an airport. Families gathered... pacing... laughing nervously... staring at their watches... holding tight to balloons... and waiting. Some waited to be reunited with children they have hosted before. Some waited to embrace the children they are already in the process of adopting. And others waited to see and embrace their host child for the first time. And even others met their future children for the first time.

And it was beautiful.

A Grandfather crying precious tears was beautiful.

Children smiling huge smiles that said so much were beautiful.

Host family children who embraced the new ones were beautiful.

Mothers crying tears that only a mother can understand were beautiful.

Fathers trying to keep it all together and sometimes failing were beautiful.

Tuesday, December 06, 2011

"The LORD is good to all, And His tender mercies are over all His works." Psalm 145:9~

"But I am like a green olive tree in the house of God;

I will trust in the mercy of God forever and ever." Psalm 52:8~

"Mercy and truth have met together; Righteousness and peace have kissed.

Truth shall spring out of the earth, And righteousness shall look down from heaven."

Psalm 85:10,11~

As tears stream down my face, I type the words, "I can't do this anymore." My heart still pounds with emotion and the words are screaming from all corners of my mind. The words are to my husband. The words are about the almost daily battles/struggles with one of my daughters. One who holds so much of my heart. One who demands so much and leaves me often empty. One who rejects me often. One who clings to me in frail moments. One who can fill me with purest joy with just a smile. One who can bring up the vilest of who I can be.

This night has been hard. My voice has been raised as my heart screamed in response, defense and exhaustion. Sadness. Exasperation. Frustration. Anger. As my fingers cry upon the keyboard, crying out to my husband miles away, her door opens and footsteps descend the stairs, approaching in quiet haste.

How does she know I sit here broken? A broken pile of failure and sadness. A broken pile of a girl who tries to be a mom. A broken pile of a girl who thinks she can not do it anymore. A broken pile of a girl who thinks she doesn't even want to try anymore.

She approaches and she is bearing gifts. A small pink bowl with "food" and her favorite hand sanitizer.

She sets them down beside me. Puts her hand on mine. "I'm sorry."

Response is hard. I have no idea how to respond. Failing again. I am empty. Her previous words are ringing in my head. Her defiance flashes before me and "Thank you," is all that comes up from within.

She goes to the kitchen and comes back with more offerings... a cold cup of water and a paper towel. And she wipes my tears. "Thank you," again is all I can offer in return. I missed a moment. I missed a moment of tender heart due to my own emptiness. And I told her she should return to bed. And she did. I was still raw.

As I put on pajamas and brushed my teeth, my thoughts cried out to the LORD. Numbness still hung on me like a heavy blanket that I couldn't shake. And then the LORD did what He does best... He opened my eyes.

﻿

﻿Words from one of my favorite people came back to me.

“Joy is always a function of gratitude — and gratitude is always a function of perspective.

If we are going to change our lives,

what we’re going to have to change

is the way we see.” Ann Voskamp~

Simple prayer offered. Change what I see LORD. PLEASE. All I can see if defiance, stubbornness, ingratitude, greed, selfishness, spewing of words, lashing out, ugliness. Change what I see.

And He did.

Ann's words echo in my mind again. Somewhere, in past posts or her book, she encouraged to keep seeking God in places you don't see Him because He is there.

LORD, where are you here? Where are you in this?

Eyes opened, heart opened, and sin exposed. There He was, in this, and there I stood, before Him, in rebellion, in defiance, in stubbornness, with ingratitude, greed, selfishness, spewing my words, lashing out, ugly. Broken again. There was the light. And I, before the LORD, was just like Abby. And yet... there He was. Mercy. Grace. Christ. Forgiveness. Love. Unfailing. Over. And over. And over. Everything I should be. Everything I am not.

Had I not just earlier sat in the car and spewed words of anger after being "wronged" by another? Had I not asked demanded my husband to call her and let her have it? Had I not been so vile over a house? Over time? Greed. Ingratitude. Selfishness. Control. Yes. Yes I had. That was me. That was my ugly. My sin.

"For the LORD is good; His mercy is everlasting,

And His truth endures to all generations." Psalm 100:5~

"For your mercy is great above the heavens, and Your truth reaches to the clouds." Psalm 108:4~

"The LORD is gracious and full of compassion, slow to anger and great in mercy. The LORD is good to all, And His tender mercies are over all His works." Psalm 145:8,9~

"Freely you have received. Freely give." Matthew 10:8b

Through Christ, the LORD sees me righteous. Through Christ, I am a holy child of God. Through Christ, I am forgiven. Through Christ, I am new. Through Christ, I am no longer a slave to sin. I am so humbled. Thanksgiving should be forever present on my lips.

Those are the eyes I need to see with. Spiritual eyes. Christ's eyes. Not mine.

I must give mercy just as I receive it. Daily. AGAIN AND AGAIN. I must see it's presence in everything.

I can do it again. I can try to love her, guide her, parent her, shepherd her, accept her again and again. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Because His mercies are new each and every day. And so will be mine.

Monday, December 05, 2011

December is for reflecting

I have mentioned that I am not sure if I will continue to blog. There are several reasons behind the pondering. One is that time becomes more and more precious with each passing hour! Blogging used to be another creative outlet for me. I enjoyed making banners and changing backgrounds and posting pictures... and writing. But now I find it hard to get here a lot of the time. I look on the right side and see my number of postings for the year and they are kinda pitiful! HA I also find it harder to take pictures like I used to... time... lack of!

I also have to be honest and find myself pondering the lack of comments a lot of time. I mean, how can you read a post about hundreds of facebook people raising money... massive money... in 48 hours to bring home a child and say nothing. It leaves me thinking several things... no one reads it, no one cares, everyone is tired of reading about orphans needing/finding homes, or no one knows how to leave a comment. And honestly, I HATE caring about whether or not anyone leaves a comment. But I do. This blog has become an interactive blog and so crickets not even chirping sometimes makes me think I shouldn't even bother.

So then I thought about just enabling comments and not worrying about it anymore but then I am back to why bother? I could use this time to write in journals and scrapbook and not worry about it anymore.

But then I LOVE to go back to 2006 and see how far Abby has come... how far the blog has come... how far our faith has come... how far God has brought us and all He has shown us and how He has grown us and it makes me want to continue.

So that is what I am pondering. The honest version! Because you know me... I love to be honest!
So I will continue praying about it and pondering and see what happens by the end of the month.
But in the meantime... if you are reading... and you do care... thanks!

Sunday, December 04, 2011

December is for friends... who come and celebrate someone special with you... who share their hearts, their love, their time, their encouragement, their laughter, their support, their words, their lives... such beautiful blessings from the Lord. We love you all and are deeply thankful for each one of you. We are blessed to share life with you! THANK YOU for making Don's birthday a special night and memory. xoxoxoxoxoxo

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Done...?

I may be done. With blogging. I am considering December being my last month to blog. It's hard when I look at what has happened since 2006 since I started this thing. Just seeing pictures of Abby then can just make me cry. But I have some mixed emotions. I don't know. But I am considering.

I'll have the week off next week as we travel and enjoy family and friends. I wish you all the most wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving holiday. May it be the start to Thanksliving forever!!!

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Never, ever stop asking...

We can have such little patience with our God who bathes us in His grace and abundant patience each and every moment of our life. What would our life look like if God had patience with us at the same level as we have with Him? Wow. What about the patience we offer to others? Wow. Hopefully that causes you to stop and take a little inventory of yourself as it does with me. Patience has never been one of my greatest fruits. Are there things in our spiritual lives we have stopped seeking because they didn't arrive on our time table? Are there prayers we have stopped praying because we didn't get the answer we wanted when we wanted it? Are there people we have given up on because they have not become who we wanted them to become when we wanted them to? Have we stopped seeking because we actually may think we have it all or because more is not that important? Or because we didn't find what we were looking for fast enough?

This scripture in Matthew seems pretty clear... almost too clear. And yet, we can run right past it... or even say it doesn't mean what it really says. But it says, "seek and you will find"... not seek and you might find... not seek for as long as you want and you might find... but seek and you will find... knock and the door will be opened to you. The trick is believing and faith and endurance. Knock. How many times? Until the door is opened. Because the LORD says it will be opened. Believe that and KEEP knocking until it is opened... because it will open!! And how long do we seek... until we find because if we believe we will find... we will seek until we do!

Lies and distractions keep us from the promises of the LORD. I am so very thankful for His promises and His word that breathe life into me and give me the strength I need to walk this journey. I am so very thankful for the Holy Spirit who opens our eyes and ears and unveils God's word to penetrate deep down and TRANSFORM us. Transformation is one of the most beautiful parts of being a Christian... and the most painful. Dying to ourselves each and every day and looking exposed sin in the face and rebuking it, repenting of it, and leaving it, fresh and radiant is His light and grace, is one of the most beautiful privileges of being His child.

Whatever you are seeking in the LORD... KEEP SEEKING... UNTIL you FIND!

And whatever door you are knocking on before the LORD... KEEP KNOCKING UNTIL is OPENS...

Monday, November 14, 2011

Fall is well underway! Leaves are falling in rapid fashion and many trees are already bare... standing and soaking up the sun... getting ready for their winter rest.

The colors of fall just make me happy inside. Such vibrant colors have commanded my attention on numerous occasions this fall. Sadly... I busticated my camera coming back from FL and now it's off in a Nikon factory somewhere... all alone. And I am missing great opportunity for pictures. Boo Whooo. :0(

But I did manage to snap these at a Punko Patch with Abby's class on her fall trip a couple weeks ago.

I think she and I both could have just stayed in that tiny little petting zoo all day with the sheep and the bunnies. The poor sheep did not seem to be all that happy about all the little paws pawing them.

This was the friendliest one there and she just sat there the whole time... poor dear. The others all huddled up under the bunny cages and acted like there was a pack of wolves in house! I felt so bad for them.

Here is Abby's teacher! Isn't she just the cutest thing ever! I simply adore her and her love for the Lord and for her class! She is amazing and such an answer to prayer. Hugs to you little Miss Thing! :0)

I am overflowing with thankfulness today. I am so excited to be in VA next week for my favorite holiday... Thanksgiving. The entire thought of it leaves me all warm and fuzzy inside! I am already planning for the car activites! And we are stopping in Fredericksburg on the way to see some great friends from our past and share dinner and breakfast with them! What a bonus!

I will have to take my little tiny snap and shoot camera. :0( But some pictures will be better than no pictures. And when I am there... I may sneak some shots with my mom's mac daddy try to make me jealous and sin camera! She just got it a couple months ago and I may need to try it out! :0)

10 Thankfuls for Today!

1. Thankful that Abby has gone two mornings without a seizure! Praise the LORD!

2. Thankful for the ability to spend my favorite holiday with family I love so so much!

Friday, November 11, 2011

Don is still making the shutters... they will finish it off but for now... we are loving her makeover!

She seriously needs a landscaping face lift... maybe in the Spring.

And I have been having some fun inside too...

I was inspired by this...

this...

and this!

And so I went from this...

Horrible mess...

(so sorry it is blurry. The flash was killing the shot and the closet was dark enough for the shutter to be open long enough for any movement to ruin it! :0( )

to this...

and from this...

to this!

Every time I walk in the closet now, my insides smile! No more YUCK feeling when I walk in! It's is AMAZING what organizing a space can do for your insides! :0)

This was the best purchase I have made in a while. I pulled down the hanging shoe bags as they took up way too much room on the small rack that can hold my dresses. They also took up space from the rack next to it. SO I bought this six hole cubby shelf thingie at Home Depot! I put my sweaters in there and bought the little cubbies for my shoes! Summer sandals and strappies went up in a brown storage box on a high shelf... then flip flops are on one cubby and casual shoes and flats in the other two. They are OFF THE FLOOR! And they are organized! Now I can see them better too and change up what I am wearing and not get stuck in a rut! :0)

I also moved my bags to the bottom shelf so I could reach them better and organized my belts and scarves. It's the small things! :0)

I can see everything so much better now! It's already helped me be more creative with my outfits too! You know how important that is!

Here is a glimpse of the MESS!

And now here it is. There is still some MESS that I have to put away... somewhere...

Follow by Email

One Beautiful Life

Walking forward in faith on the ever changing path of life...

"Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard. Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and He will say: Here am I." Isaiah 58: 8, 9~

Dawn: Daughter of the King, Wife, Mother, Friend, Advocate, Prayer Warrior by the power of His love

Total Pageviews

Community of friends who embrace this one beautiful life. Won't you join us...