Suddenly, out of nowhere, the villager known as canaan came running down from his house. He was wearing a tusk, along with long john's and overalls. He quickly debrobed, revealing...

Spoiler:

That he was wearing an Elf outfit.

Canaan: Everyone...I am Brad Thomas, Santa's Lead Elf. I am tasked with protecting him, so he makes it out of your village alive.

count2infinity: What's going on here?

Brad Thomas: Our sleigh was damaged, en route from a top secret mission in North Korea. We were forced to land nearby. We were being trailed by an unidentified flying object, so we hid in your village.

Spoiler:

A little kid clamored..."I want to see Santa! I want to see Santa!"

IrishEyes: Ok baby, I will take you to see Santa.

Brad Thomas: Wait! Nobody sees Santa! We still don't know who is coming after us, which is why he is safely hidden amongst your village.

MWB looked at IrishEyes.

MWB: Is that kid yours?

IrishEyes: Yes. Benny Fitz is the daddy.

MWB facepalmed, as he slowly slunk back towards the bar.

Everyone turned to Benny Fitz' house. IrishEyes started muttering a few words about child support, and Benny's name came up.

IrishEyes: Benny! Get your ass out here boy!

Off in the distance, columbia and TheHammer24 were smoking cigars under a dimly lit street lamp.

columbia: $20 says she pops out 3 more kids before next August.

TheHammer24: No bet.

Infuriated, IrishEyes continued pounding on Benny's door. The rest of the village joined her, noticing something was amiss.

There was no answer. The villagers approached Benny's house, and opened the door to find it unlocked. Benny...had vanished, and is now eliminated from the village. Benny was...

For clarification: I base my write-ups on the direction that the thread is taking. If somebody says something in the thread, it is fair game for my write-ups. Any actions, funny lines, alliances, hatred, etc, I'll usually mold into the "creative" somehow.