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Thursday, April 29, 2010

Furry Vengeance!

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I promised you a post about my brush with the rock 'n' roll lifestyle. Ain't happening today.

Why?

Murphy woke up at 3 a.m. violently shaking his head like a bobblehead doll in an earthquake. My Love guessed it was an allergy-related ear infection, gave the poor dog a Claritin and stuffed her head back under the pillow.

I slept through it all.

My brain must have automatically shut itself down to rest up after deducing that my waking day would be spent leaving a trail of cotton balls and tea tree oil around the house as I tried to corner a veterinarian-hating, 75-pound Labrador retriever whipping his long floppies from side to side like a hula dancer on crystal meth.

Or maybe I knowingly ignored all the wee-hour commotion. Maybe I was exacting revenge for the countless early mornings past on which I answered someone's needy barks to go outside. And for the six months spent picking up someone's parasite-laced intestinal explosions around the yard. And all the many power-washings and disinfections needed to remove unplanned detonations from someone's kennel, an activity done while I repeatedly muttered "crap in a wrap, what died up inside you, dog!" and wondered if certain student loans really, truly needed to be repaid given this unpaid, full-time job they had netted me.

Nah.

Must have just been my subconscious just trying to help stockpile needed energy. My brain is a far more complex beast than I am.

My 7 year old nemesis in the form of a furry yellow lab goes by the code name Bernie. And the lab part might just be his stealthy disguise because he neither swims nor retrieves. Suspicious, no? He did, however, nail the lab traits when it comes to ear infections (flap, flap, flap, flap, flap), excessive self-licking, horrible gas and laziness.

We have a 10 year old black lab with allergies to everything. Its as annoying as hell. She digs, licks,scratches so loud it wakes you up. Sounds like an oral sex orgy.. or what I reckon one would sound like.They are SO bad that the benadryl, claratin etc no longer works. So every spring and fall its off to the vet for anti itch shots. The dog goes to the dr more than my kids !

Ah yes. We are well acquainted with lab ears and the infections they harbor. Wynter now takes Benadryl twice a day. My other dog Jasmine sees Wynter getting her daily meds wrapped in a chicken flavored pill pocket every morning, and Jasmine looks at me like she's getting gypped.

That's when I remind her that Wynter also gets wrestled once a week in the kitchen so we can clean her ears. Jasmine gives me that "oh yeah" look and goes back to her crate.