The Need for Attention

The Need for Attention

The need for attention and recognition runs deep within each of us. It starts early in childhood and if it is not sufficiently met with love it can persist throughout our lives.

The need to feel recognized can manifest in strange ways and sometimes it takes on bizarre forms. Right now, countless people everywhere are crying out to be noticed. They dress outlandishly, put rings in the most unlikely places and tattoos all over their bodies. They get onto stages and sing out their desperation to the unseen millions who clamour to listen to them and identify with them.

What is it that all these millions have in common?

They are trying to express themselves in the singing of a universal song.

And the words of the song? Basically they’re about the desire for attention and recognition – a need to be heard and noticed.

The Fear of Obscurity and Oblivion

While we may not realize it consciously our deep need to be recognized is really a symptom of a fear – the fear of obscurity and oblivion.

Maybe we believe that if we make enough noise, we can chase away our personal demons. But in reality we know that dressing outlandishly or rapping about our woes or driving fast cars won’t allay our deeper fears.

We can only hope to defeat obscurity by finding the voice within. Because like an iceberg, the biggest and strongest part of ourselves is deep below the surface. And we can only address that inner part of ourselves on an individual basis.

The Search for Meaning

Viktor Frankl said that our most important mission in life was to find meaning. It’s a thought that was immortalized by Ann Frank who at the young age of 13 found her voice and the deepest level of meaning in her diary and though she died in a German concentration camp, she conquered oblivion forever.

But we each have a different take on meaning; so that the only way to discover it is to delve deep within ourselves to find the inner voice that is capable of expressing it.

Some people find meaning in service to others. To others the answer lies in creativity. And sometimes if we listen very carefully, it can come to us lightly on the wings of a song.

The truth is that in finding our true voice we discover meaning and purpose so that the fear dissipates and the need for attention is subdued.

One Comment

This line ~ “And sometimes if we listen very carefully, it can come to us lightly on the wings of a song.”…gave me chills.

I find that much of my inspiration and motivation comes in the form of music, images, and words so this statement strikes a personal chord with me.

What you say here rings so true ~ I have personally witnessed over and over again how the need for attention can manifest itself in extremely self-destructive behavior.

I’ve seen it so many times in my own life, people I care about doing unbelievably destructive things to themselves to attract attention or to be “loved”. Risky sexual behavior, drugs, alcohol abuse are all par for the course.

I just thank God I can be here every day for my two little girls and shower them with attention, whether they want it or not 😉

I love this article! Makes us remember that it’s about daily little steps to find our voices rather than one huge adoring crowd which seems to be the most popular current fantasy 🙂

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This post was mentioned on Twitter by debbyedelstein, Grapho said: The need for attention runs deep in us. if it’s not sufficiently met with love it persists throughout our lives. […]

Hinsley says:

Can I just say what a relief to find someone who actually knows what theyre talking about on the internet. You definitely know how to bring an issue to light and make it important. More people need to read this and understand this side of the story. I cant believe youre not more popular because you definitely have the gift.

Anonymous says:

Usually I do not post on blogs, but I would like to say that this article really forced me to do so! Thanks, really nice article.

Klevjer says:

Aw, this was a really quality post. In theory I’d like to write like this too – taking time and real effort to make a good article… but what can I say… I procrastinate a lot and never seem to get something done.

Sudhir says:

I think graphology is a branch of psychology and can be used to detect psychological disorders. I am a graphologist and have helped teenagers through it. I use a reverse psychology of changing handwriting and personality or vice versa.

Tattoo says:

Excellent indeed. I have been looking for this information.

Tarah Mauffray says:

I agree with your thoughts here and I really love your blog! I’ve bookmarked it so that I can come back & read more in the future.

Sandra says:

Well, I am glad that you all seemed to have enjoyed the article. There are a lot more in the pipeline!