My alarm started that buzz buzz buzz at noon and I was like fucking get oudda heee. Who’da hell set my alarm so early on a Saturday? If I find out who’da hell set it I’m gonna bash his face in with a bat.

Aww dawg now I remember WVU has a football game today. YEAH, somebody get me a JAGERBOMB.

I better get in the shower if I’s gonna to get any time to tailgate and act like a cocksucker. It takes at least 2 hours for me to blowout my hair, put on my red Armani shirt, headband, and oversized silver chain.

Oh shit, WVU’s colors are blue and gold. Whateva’ gold and blue. I don’t give a fuck, the girls are going to see this red shirt and wanna fuck me right in The Pit.

I love this mirror because it makes me look like a fuckin’ pimp. My hair almost fills up the whole damn mirror. This shit could put some pussy’s eye out. I love it, you love, bitches love it, HELL YEAH, JAGERBOMB.

Now let me think, where’da hell is the stadium? Fuck that hurt, I’ll just ask one of my boys. I can’t go anywhere yet ‘cause I gotta wait for my boys to get heee.

Finally, at the stadium and I need a JAGERBOMB and a Corona. What no Corona? Only keg beer, fuck it I’ll just throw a cup on the ground after every beer to make it feel like Jersey, I LOVE TRASH.

Why is everyone leaving it is only 3:00? The first quarter won’t be over until at least 4:15 and I ain’t goin’ in until then.

It’s 4:00 and I’m fuckin’ drunk and if anybody wants to fight I will kick their ass, with the help of my 10 boys who are tough as shit.

Wow, we are already up HUGE. This game will be over in 15 minutes. What’da fuck are you talkin’ about the game is over after the second half. A football game is two halves? I don’t give a fuck I’m still leaving at halftime and never coming back.