Rachael, 17. I was meant to sparkle.
Part time fangirl, full time writer. Hardcore cat person.
Pennsylvania, USA ✈ Gyöngyös, Hungary.

Sunday, October 11, 2015

(Inter)National Coming Out Day?

Sunday, October 11, 2015.
Or, as known in America, National Coming Out Day.
I'm sure you're wondering: Rachael, you can't even make regular blog posts about being abroad - the whole point of this blog in the first place - so why are you talking about an unofficial holiday that your host country doesn't even celebrate?
Simply put...It's important to me.
The LGBT+ community is something I've been involved in for years, and no matter how minutely or quietly, it's a cause I love supporting. Despite the long road I've come down of struggling between this community and the community of faith, I'd like to think I've finally found grounds on which I'm comfortable standing - grounds that don't defy either my relationship with God OR my sexuality.
Yes, my sexuality.
Maybe some of you started reading this post knowing what I would be saying eventually, and maybe some of you have no idea. This is mostly because I've had a very "I-don't-care" esque attitude towards this subject over the years as I've figured it out for myself, and while I didn't actively try to hide it too much, it has never been something I've felt needed advertised. I still stand by this belief, but at the same time, I think a subject such as this is something that people shouldn't feel confined by, much like I have been feeling lately.
In America, I was comfortable. I didn't feel the need to hide. I felt accepted for the way I was, for the most part. And now, as I become more comfortable with my new surroundings in Hungary, I feel as though I should take yet another step outside of my comfort zone and share another part of my life - coincidentally also a hot button topic in the USA as of right now, making it part of my culture as well - with those I've grown close (and maybe not so close) with here in Hungary.
And for those of you who have strong objections to what I'm about to say? Know that I'm totally okay with not being accepted by you.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ANYWAYS

Let's just start with saying I decided to make this post because pretty much everyone I've met in Hungary has asked me at some point if I have a boyfriend.

I don't.

I also don't have a girlfriend. However, I consider both of those options to be possibilities for myself.

I'm pansexual.

What?

Pansexual...Pans????

Let's back up for a second, and take a look at a basic prefix.

According to Dictionary.com: Pan - acombiningformmeaning“all,”occurringoriginallyinloanwordsfromGreek ( panacea;panoply), butnowusedfreelyasageneralformative( panleukopenia;panorama;pantelegraph;pantheism;pantonality),andespeciallyinterms,formedatwill,implyingtheunionofallbranchesofagroup ( Pan-Christian;Panhellenic;Pan-Slavism).
Now that we've learned the prefix in question, let's return to the whole word. Pansexual refers to an attraction to all genders(ex. male, female, non-binary, etc).
Maybe now you're thinking: isn't that bisexual?
Possibly.
Depending on who you ask, the definition and differences between bisexual and pansexual are varied. Personally, I often refer to myself as bisexual because I then don't have to go through the explanation above, and most people outside of the LGBT+ community will think of them as nearly the same.
Two things I AM NOT, though, are GAY or STRAIGHT. In the past, when I've come out, people immediately assume I am just a confused individual that falls under one of the two categories.
No, I am not confused.
...Okay, maybe I'm confused about a lot of things, but this is not one of them.

So, now you know, and don't be afraid to ask me questions. I'd be more than willing to help anyone who wants to understand more!