flying down farm road i flew into a boulder. i seen lights, i seen smoke, i seen things but still i kept going. boom fling pow ping my flight ended when i hit a tree. i remember that. look at mee im one of those, those things, those drunks. i opened the door and i wanted to smile, i wanted to laugh, i wanted to run, i wanted to hide, all those things but i couldnt find it in mee. *there was nothing beautiful* i remember that so i stopped looking. with my pony still smoking i started walking. "all that, that whole thing is done" i says, i was so ashamed that i wanted to end that part of mee. yess i drank before but i always ended up with some gurl or on some couch somewhere. but nothing like this before. when it ended something else began.

there was no place to greet the morning sun. these trees were way too high. i knew a straightaway to my aunts house where you could see the morning sun. so half drunk and walking i chose very carefully my words i wanted to say to the creator. thanks for sparing mee. no. first ill thank him for everything then ill say what i have to say. but what do i have to say? what is it that im walking away from? what is it that i want to doo?

tears filled my eyes as kneeled down in the middle of the road. it was there i put my tobacco down. i started crying and just let it go. creator thank you for the food you provided mee, thank you for today and all the wonderful things you have given mee. thank you for being there for mee, keeping me strong and healthy. thank you for everything *for the life of me i really felt this way* i pray for my family my mother my sister, i pray you continue to protect us from all things. and lastly i pray for mee...

this is where i lost it. this is where my life changed. thank you creator for... not killing my sister, killing my brother or my two cousins. i think i cried a good ten minutes without saying anything. ive never been soo ashamed...i dont want it to be this way again...in exchange for the things you have given mee today im going to stop drinking. i give you my life and all my things as my offering. i brought you some tobacco i hope you enjoy it as much as i do. creator thank you for listening to mee.

minus all the tears, i kept it short like i wanted to. you couldnt tell but i changed right then and there. some people never learn, thats okay im more accepting, but that life isnt for mee