BOOK: Steamed by Katie MacAlister (2010)

Okay, before I say anything about this novel, let me begin by telling you I read it on a total lark. This should be obvious the moment I begin to describe it, but just in case it’s not, I feel it’s important that I be clear about this: I am not a trashy romance novel reader. I SWEAR I AM NOT.

But, come on, you guys, how am I supposed to resist a book billed as a “steampunk romance,” I ask you? It’s too much to ask. So, when a friend of mine mentioned this book to me and then started lobbing out lines from it on my Facebook page, I begged him to pass it along when he was done. And man, it was every bit as delightfully awful as I hoped it would be. Sah-weet.

The story, NOT THAT THE STORY MATTERS, OF COURSE, is about a computer technician named Jack Fletcher who greets each day with a round of sexual harassment in the workplace, and then spends the rest of his on-the-job hours working on a super secret nanoelectrical project. When his nutty sister Hallie comes to visit one afternoon and knocks a cup of coffee onto the computer works, she and Jack suddenly find themselves beamed into another dimension, a parallel universe where steam engines are the height of technology. They wake up on an “airship,” captained by a gorgeous, buxom redhead, Octavia Pye, whose “uniform” consists of a tight corset, revealing blouse, and sexy skirt. Naturally.

As the various characters try to figure out what’s going on, and as Pye struggles to lead her maiden voyage in a world filled with air-pirates and rogues, the sparks between Jack and Octavia begin to fly. She does things like tell him kissing her would be wholly inappropriate, and he responds, of course, by kissing her anyway. As a woman, I should be offended. But I’m afraid I was far too distracted by the fact I was cracking up every three paragraphs to get too het up about the whole no-means-no thing.

Besides, it wasn’t really “no,” obviously. Her mouth said one thing, HER LIPS SAID ANOTHER. Or something like that.

Mothers, on behalf of womankind, don’t give this book to your daughters.

I have to admit, when I need escapist fiction of the silly variety, Katie McAlister is at the top of the pile. Pure bubblegum for the brain. She, Mary Janice Davidson and Pat White. The first two write silly vampire romance and Pat writes silly romances with wreatlers as the main characters. I love some drivel occasionally, just to celar out the brain so I can put more serious stuff in there.

Not really the topic but what is with the trend to put faceless women’s torsos on book covers? It’s such a turn off and I’ll be so happy when it’s over. Meg, when you get your book published (which I’ll totally buy) please don’t let them put some torso on the cover.