Why is sex after marriage considered deviant?

Social media plays a huge role in this. We live in a world where power source has to validate normality. Why is your choice of "when you have sex" considered a big deal? Shouldn't it be a personal choice? Why does it send people into a spiral of silence, and why do people conform to it? Do people who have it for the first time do it because they heard about it? Or do they do it because they genuinely feel an emotional connection? Keep in mind that there are kids loosing their virginity at the age of 12.

Because the ideal is a married, monogamous partnership with neither sex before nor after.

Sex is not just a personal choice, when you demand that others pay for 100K a year AIDS drugs if you get infected, support your illegitimate child via welfare or pay for repeated abortions and treatments for STDs. If you have to pay for all these things on your own dollar and never up my taxes to pay for it, then you can say it has no external impact until the child raised without a stable family commits crimes, becomes an addict or mentally ill - all things 2-3x more likely if Mom and Dad aren't married, even if living together at first.

Society trying to maintain rules of behavior that protect children from the 10% failure rate of married families to the 30% failure rate of single mothers is doing so out of its own best interest of lower crime, less intergenerational poverty, and a healthier society.

Any child who loses their virginity at 12 has been raped - they are too young to consent to ANYTHING, much less the risk of sexually transmitted disease, pregnancy or the damage at too large object penetrating the body does.

Yes, but I am taking about why it seen as something deviant? The media portrays sex in such a manner that promotes sexual activity, or at least makes a majority of the population want to experiment per se. There might be other underlying factors.

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