Where Stuff Gets Rated

Tag: 2.7

The are the cookies sold by, you guessed it, the girl scouts. What you may not know is that the girl scouts don’t make the cookies, they’re made by the same people who make Keebler cookies. I guess Ernie and the rest of the elves. Anyhow, these are like five dollars, and, for all the cookies that aren’t yucky, Keebler makes a better version you can buy at the store for like two-fifty. Now, I’m not saying don’t give the girl scouts your money, in fact I’m saying the opposite. Just give the girl scouts some money. You’ll have plenty after buying more and better cookies at half the price.

Not the sculptor, the Ninja Turtle. According to the theme song (written by Chuck Lorre!) he “does machines.” I feel like this is a problematic thing to suggest about a guy who once built a life size anthropomorphic turtle android, but that’s just me. 2.7/5

Okay, it costs more to make than it’s worth, and I literally never use them except to put them in the coin counting machine at the bank and turn them into real money, but I’m glad they exist because I like the little Abraham Lincoln in the Lincoln Memorial on the back. 2.7/5

I know there’s a game here, and it seems to me it involved something called twosies, but mostly this is a thing where you steal the bouncy ball, because bouncy balls are awesome, and leave the jacks on the floor to mutilate someone’s foot. 2.7/5

There’s a danger in writing too much–and Stephen King has written 2000 words a day for decades–that nobody you trust is going to be able to read it and tell you if it’s any good. Even more so when you’re Stephen King and you’re going to make a million dollars regardless of quality. On Writing is a national treasure and I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise, but probably more than half of his output is just bad. Just hot garbeau. That’s why I stick to stuff rating, where I can top out at fifty words a day and spend the rest of my time sipping banana daiquiris and not catching my many spelling errors. 2.7/5