Great marriage story

My husband is an Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature, and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders.

Three years of courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness.

I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings, I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband, is my complete opposite, his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.

One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.

“Why?” he asked, shocked. “I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in the world!” I answered. He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a lighted cigarette at all times. My feeling of disappointment only increased, here was a man who can’t even express his predicament, what else can I hope from him? And finally he asked me:” What can I do to change your mind?”

Somebody said it right, it’s hard to change a person’s personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him. Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered : “Here is the question, if you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind, Let’s say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?” He said :” I will give you your answer tomorrow….” My hopes just sank by listening to his response.

I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting, underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes…. My dear, “I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to explain the reasons further..” This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading.

“When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen, I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs. You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you. You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to save my eyes to show you the way. You always have the cramps whenever your “good friend” approaches every month, I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy.

You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom. You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails, and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand… and tell you the color of flowers, just like the color of the glow on your young face… Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do… I could not pick that flower yet, and die.. ”

My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting… and as I continue on reading… “Now, that you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk… I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread….

Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone…

That’s life, and love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.

Love shows up in all forms, even very small and cheeky forms, it has never been a model, it could be the most dull and boring form.. . flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands… and that’s our life… Love, not words win arguments…

This is truly heart rendering but from the information I was able to pull from this post reveals to me several things:

For one, this woman needs to kiss her man’s feet and thank God that he didn’t take her up on her offer to divorce her. Nothing this woman mentioned about her reasons for divorce had anything to do with him demeaning her person or disrespecting her as his wife, and as a woman.

Her only reason was romance in the marriage being gone. Well I hate to break it to you, romance goes both ways. No mention was ever made that she went out of her way to promote the kind of romance she desired. And as man, I have to tell you, if I came home to someone who looked like my mother on a bad day, and hear her complaining about what Im not doing, its not going to make me romantic.

If romance was so important to her that it was a deal breaker, than it was up to her to communicate this to her husband. Because its obvious to me he wasnt getting that message. If a woman is so willing to let the marriage go simply out of what she perceives is not there, then let her go. she is blind-sighted and selfish. And the problem with selfish partners is that there is nothing you can do that will be good enough for them. If it wasnt romance he wasnt good at, it would have been something else he failed. at.

Second point, women are detailed in journaling things that bother them the most. If those things written in this blog that her husband wrote are mentioned here, you can bet they are true things about her, its nothing she would have consented to journaling here if it wasnt the truth. No one will be documenting negative things about themselves when its divorce they are seeking. Their argument will sway you to think its the other guys fault.

So…I think her tears came with a double edged sword when she realized how selfish she was, and it took her husband to not only make her see the blindness she was in, but also the love she was actually getting, but didnt see. Everyone looks at life through a filter, and its those filters that become our worst enemy when things dont come our way in the form we expect to see them. My hat comes off to who ever this man is for making her see the error of her ways, and in such a loving and gentile way!….. how so lucky she is to have him as her husband. It could have gone a very different way.

If it was me, I would have granted her wish for a divorce. But you see, life has an evil trick it plays on us. If we dont learn our lessons in life, they have a way of coming back around to haunt us, and often times in forms more intense and worse than before, just the faces, times, events and places are different. Im so glad this woman didnt have to learn what a terrific guy she has in the rear view mirror of life…. later on being with another man, who she perceived as more deserving than this man, but in reality turned out to be an abusive jerk who came home to her having two kids on each hip, but complaining as to why the house is a wreck and why his dinner isnt on the table. What a turn of events it would be!

What a different blog this would have been if she had written this from the rear view mirror, and then coming to find out, this man that she divorced is now remarried, and she has to live out her days knowing that the love that this man really had for her, is now being given away to another woman, when it was really meant for her! Count your blessings, young child. You have many things to learn in life.

Take those filtered glasses off and throw them away and let god bless you to see what you have, rather than focusing on what you dont have! There is no evidence in this blog that he was abusive, or demeaning to you either as his wife, or as a woman, but you wanted to divorce him because romance was gone? unbelievable! Tomorrow, I would wake up and thank god your husband is him and not me. Because I would have granted your wish, never to later be reconsidered.

Look, marriage is hard enough without throwing things at it to make it fail. It takes more work and dedication, respect for each other as the person they are, not the person you think they should be. If you can love someone for who they are, and respect them as they are, your love will deepen, far deep than can be explained. The romance that you desire will come at the most unsuspecting times, and in unexpected ways with nothing more than maybe just the way he looks into your eyes.

And as hard as marriage is, at the other end, the relationship you build together will be based on a foundation that nothing will be able to break, if you start out with respecting each other for who you each are, just the way you are. Communication, my dear is the blood that keeps this thing alive. Persistence will keep it going, and foundation of love you build will go deeper than your dreams could imagine.

Nice story….. Marriage is a special relation because you share everything with each other….. that y they are called LIFE partner not just partner. I just want to say that if he was not romantic and you felt him boring, you are the other side of life, you could have made every moment special just by not thinking negative and keeping your ego aside him to approach you first. I WISH YOU COUPLE ALL THE BEST.

Right now, I am on a stage where the woman was when she asked for divorce. I feel boredom and that everything is routinary in my marriage. I want to separate with him. I wish my husband will also turn to be romatic as this man. I love the story! It’s giving me inspiration.

it is really amazing on how a story will touched a person heart.. This story really touched me because I behave like the woman in this story always thinking about the obvious romance and always think that my husband never love me enough due to his lack of showing his love but after reading this story, I think back and I realize that he loves me in his own way.. Thanks for sharing this story..

Love reading it again and again… Very inspiring! Appreciating every little thing is the key, don’t look too far for things you think needs attention, rather sit down and both should discuss things and compromise.

I thought this was pretty ridiculous. I’m a woman and I like romance with the best of them, but asking a guy if he’d pick a flower for a woman that would kill him? I’d rather have the divorce. I’m sorry, but my parents are in this exact situation where my dad is the most stable, giving, sweet person in the world and gives my mother EVERYTHING she wants, but because he’s not some prince charming out of a movie she doesn’t feel loved enough and wanted a divorce. I bet if they’d gotten divorced this person would have crawled back to him anyway once she realised that a lot of men out there can’t be depended upon, regardless of how many times they claimed to be willing to die for her. Honestly.

I agree with muzik. This story is nice in that it highlights for hopeless romantics the small kinds of things love is really made of, but…this woman…she really doesn’t deserve this guy.

I mean, basically its a story about a guy who has to take great pains in showing his wife that he doesn’t have to KILL HIMSELF to prove he loves her, metaphorically or otherwise. If you’re going to divorce over a dispute like that, then you need a serious reality check. Lucky for her that reality check meant a nice letter, while it could have meant the loss of a man who really cared about her.

I can relate with your story, very inspiring too and I also feel the same way sometimes. You know like no romance, but when I read MUZIk’s comment, I’ve been enlightened bout it. I realized how lucky I am with my husband right now. He’s not romantic, but he showed his love through actions. But you know sometimes we can’t help it. Us girls, to be emotional coz no romance at all, but now I’ve learned, that we also have to see our husband’s efforts with us, even they’re not that romantic, but they’re doing their obligations as a good husband to us.

I don’t imagine this comment being very well liked.. but I have to say it.

Yes, her question was ridiculous and yes, he seems like a quality man. But his answer would not have satisfied me. If there was a lack of romance in my marriage, I would not be completely moved by my husband listing off my flaws and incapabilities (that quite frankly made her appear vastly inferior in my opinion) followed by all the reasons I need HIM.. because I am too weak to survive tasks as simple as unlocking my own door without his help. YES, I realize those words are not supposed to be taken so literally but in such a sensitive situation… not a good approach in my opinion. Although I would have appreciated the break and milk.

I’m married to a police officer and sometimes (a lot of the time) he is the same way due to work and other family issues. By the third to last paragraph, I was crying. I know he loves me and for everything we’ve been through lately, it’s been hard. But with that being said: thank you, sometimes people need to have things put into perspective and this truely helped.

This is ridiculous. The woman is a self-centered, selfish bitch who obviously has no sense about what love is, except for the notion that love is measured by how much ass-kissing she receives from her partner.

Divorcing her husband just because she’s BORED, and asking him if he would die to get her a fucking flower? The poor, poor, husband for putting up with such a woman. He should have taken her up on her offer, divorced the bitch, and found a woman that actually deserves his love and devotion. The wife should be left to be a victim of her own pathetic insecurity, suffering a life flitting from one abusive man to another her entire life.

I RARELY comment on things on the internet, but this story just made me sick.

Ridiculous insipid uninspired story written for sappy people with low levels of intelligence. Starting with the useless wife who thinks her husband should be willing to die for her doing something as meaningless as picking a stupid flower and ending with her egotistical husband who thinks his wife is basically a complete idiot.

This is a waste of brain cells to read. To prove you love me, you must be willing to engage in an act that serves no-one but me and that kills you? Leave her and find someone with some depth and a brain.

That bothers me to ONLY decide to stay with him because no one wil love her as much a he will. If thats not the most selfish crap I’ve ever heard. Because no one will love you more than this guy. What about you giving that same love in return. He deserves to love somebody better.

Yes and the flower question was fucking ridiculous. She has no real problems (and probably no job) and so she passes her time by creating them. Get a hobby love, instead of making drama and then posting it on the internet….probably after he had to fix the computer for you because you had a tantrum at the screen or some such nonsense. Jesus christ this sort of crap is EXACTLY why divorce exsists. Poor bloke.

I cannot believe this woman asked if her husband would pick A flower that would result in his death. What a selfish b*tch. I can see a different question being inserted here but not to pick a flower that would kill him. If I were the man, I would’ve walked out of the house.

I’m sorry to say, but the first thing that came to my mind after reading this was “What a dry unadulterated stale bitch”. Surely, that man’s response was touching and romantic whilst having an undeniable air of logic– we can all agree on that– but this woman is horrid. Such baseless grounds for divorce…such shallow concepts of love. What a good man is he that can overlook just how cruel it was for her to afront the man in that manner. I should hope, as a woman, that I should never treat a man in that fashion.

I AGREE alot with musik had to say, also refreshing the number of women who seemed to love the story but had some hard feelings towards the woman. i recently read a story here on line where a woman did something very drastic when her husband ask for a divorce.this story was aired on a national tv programed with several women hosts and a 99% women audience . the woman got so upset she tied him down after he fell asleep cut his penis off and to add insult to injury threw it in the garbage disposal while her agonizing husband watched. seems as though (i’m sure your shocked here) that there would have been a moment of stuned shock by what this woman did to her husband . yet this was not the case all the hosts and audience were laughing uproarously at the situation. (i can post the url addy for this incident if you don’t believe me)

however the truth is many of todays divorces end because of just such feelings of some women . look at the tv program cheaters for example reason many reasons the women use is the very same reason this woman gave.

its true that being married that things that some thing as romantic and many times look else were for it . instead as what musik said as well. instead of trying to fix the problem took the easy road out by asking for divorce ,seperation or a break.

i applaud the husband of this story for thinking of a way to show her what she’ds missed in her evaluation of their marriage. was he positive she’d open the door . he may have had some doubts but hoping for the best. quote from story:”I rush to pull open the door, and saw his ANXIOUS face, CLUTCHING TIGHTLY with his HANDS, the milk bottle and loaf of bread…. in my opinion he may have had a doubt otherwise he wouldn’t have been anxous nor clutching (maybe white fisted type thing) so its possible things could have gone another way if the note and his answer hadn’t of worked.

I think some people are missing the point of the story, expecially the part of what the husand wrote.

I don’t think he wrote it to demean her or point out her flaws or to convey all the things he will do to her. You have to look past the words and focus on the fact that he does know all these things about her. And that to him, a true love partner is not about flowers or dinner by the ocean or trips to Paris. It is about growing old together and being there, always.

Hmmm, very touching. What most women are looking for, I have it, romance but I am not appreciating it. Now I know how important it is and I know it is making some women bored. I will encourage my hubby to keep it up.

It explains the love of God to me more clearly now! We snub Him, we flaunt our ignorance and ingratitude, we close our eyes to the existence of His love for us…still He loves us, if only we can see it and realise it and accept Him! I pray for continual love in the life of This couple. Now they have realised love in their marriage, it is the beginning, continuing in love is the next thing. GOD BLESS YOU.

Wow… so many lessons to be learned from. I’m blessed by this write up & sure know that I have to appreciate what I have. Most of the time, we fail to know the worth of what we’ve got, until we loose it.

Waoo, what a story. Great deal of stuff in here. Love in little things and ways. This story will stay with me for a long time. I love it. God bless you all for the great lessons you are teaching me here.

Everyone deserves to be loved: husbands, wives, kids. When we give love, we always want love back in return but suppose we don’t get that in return, we weigh the circumstances involved b4 executing whatever decisions we arrive at and be sure it’s the one that will make you happy. Don’t think about hurting the other person because you might really be hurting yourself! Love indeed is a wonderful feeling.

Muzik has said it all. And I agree absolutely with him. I just wish to say here that if a man had written this story and had given a similarly asinine reason why he wished to leave his wife. Every woman here would have been baying for his blood. Men who leave their wives because they got fat or because she doesn’t give them head or you name it! Such men are vilified and reviled by women. Then a woman writes this crap. And I see people saying they were moved! Moved that what? That her husband gave her reasons why he wouldnt die to pluck a lousy flower! Indeed the man is an idiot. If the story is true.

The wise man won the day. As for the woman, I’ve got nothing nice to say. Keeping the fires of romance and passion burning in a marriage goes both ways. She did nothing but expected everything. It’s amazing and embarrassing how some women think!

I wouldn’t exactly say I was moved cos the story seem kinda shallow 2 me. The lady here was obviously bored out of her mind. If she had a life, a career n a kid or two, she would have realised what real issues of life were all about. And the guy here should have written the damn letter in a more non critical manner, he only wrote all that just 2 serve d purpose of revealing how insecure and idle she is and her inability 2 foresee her life in years to come. In essence, d letter was just self serving all in a bid 2 make her realise that he was just putting up wit her excesses.

Nice story here. It is important when we read, to pick out lessons from stories like this and think of ways to apply them to LIFE situations. Some pple just criticize and say all kind of silly comments cos they have not found themself in either of this couples shoe. Ladies n men let us together learn, so dat we can make dis world a beta place for us, our families n children. Ladies learn also submission and patience in all matter, in any situation and @ all Cost. Dats Gods instruction and dont forget a home wtout Christ is SHATTERED… C u all at d top, till den stay BLESSED!

Really? The story ain’t all that. I expected a more grandiose ending. However, I do see a bit of myself in the woman and a lot of my guy in the man. What can I say, try as we may, us girls are suckers for romance.

Very inspiring….brought tears to my eyes. We shouldn’t rush into making decisions without examining ourselves. Are we better wives? I think women should try and find if they are better wives before making demands.