You came for the zombie-killing action, but you stayed because [[SoBadItsGood you laughed your ass off every time Goldman & Frenz opened their mouths to speak]]. Yes, suffer like G did(?) with the rich, narmy goodness that is '''DA HOUSE, OF DA DEAD'''.----* "The original sin that man is resphaansible to... To protect the loyfe coycle! I have maaaig a creacher to rule over ''maaahn kiiine!'' This is tha ''faynl bawdl!'' Shoe yourself! Our new ruler, the Empurr!" followed by the camera pointing at a wall.** Goldman also points at said wall in a manner bizarrely reminiscent of a talk show host introducing a guest.*** His pronunciation of "mankind" seriously sounds like [[Franchise/TheMuppets Kermit the Frog]], which is not a good trait for a villain.** In fact, not just Goldman, but ''anything anyone says'' in any House of the Dead game, but particularly 2.* Jane, go and prevent the confusion in the city.* Dawgs of the AMS. Time they made-a-moof.* Our emperor. Shall awaken soon. Hurry frenz.* The chaos of the city is increasing!* It's too '''quiet'''! >:/* G's bloodstains...* "We're in a serious state!"** Impressively, Amy somehow manages to scream in horror ''and'' finish this line at the same time. The gal's got range.*** This, however, is not the case in the PC version, where her screaming ''cuts'' the line.* HOW COULD ANYONE ''DO'' THIS?** How could ''anyone'' do this...?* "[[EvilLaugh Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmmmmm]]. People of the AMS, I am Goldman! I don't care if you try to get in my way or not. In time, you will find out who's right. [[EvilLaugh Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmmmmm]]. This is a present from me to you. Look at your [=left/right=]. Well, friends. I look forward to meeting you people again."** Said, like everything Goldman says, in complete and utter monotone. And not the [[CreepyMonotone creepy]] kind either.** He's slightly more emphatic when he says "Look at your left!".* We're flying right over the Sunset Bridge. Something or someone has...taken...the city.* Too bad. You're better off that way. >:/* I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS TYRE TO COME* I AM THE ONE WHO RULES OVER NACHER. I SHALL DESTROY AND HAGUE MANKRING. I AM... '''DA EMPURR!'''** '''I YAM. I YAM.'''* "What was that?" * GOLD MEN! Do you know what you're doing?** I'M FULLY AWARE OF WAHT I'M DOING - CAYN'T YEW SEE? MEN COMMITED A SIN, DISTURBING THE LAYFE CYCLE OF NAYTURE.* At last, you've come. '''Frenz.''' ''The dwor. Of feet. Shyall open.''** Apparently the "door of fate" ''creaks''.* I've been way-ting for you, ''fre-enz''...* In time, a successer wull [[TheUnintelligible coylulm]]. * Suffer like G did?* Help ME! Help ME! Aghh! (dies)* DON'T COME. DON'T COME.* What's wrong... with this? City.* I don't wanna die. (Acted like "oh! the bus is late again!")** '''*DIES*'''** '''MY''' God.** My '''GOD'''.* Chariot's "dance" before dying.* Taken to [[NarmCharm intentional extremes]] in OVERKILL.** "[[PunctuatedForEmphasis NOBODY... THREATENS... VARLA!!!]]" [=*STAB STAB*=] The look on Papa Caesar's face is priceless.** "I CAN'T GO ON WITHOUT MY MOMMY!!!" ItMakesSenseInContext.** '''"HAW HAW HAW. YOU IMPOTENT CRIPPLE."''' -half-assedly slaps Jasper with cane- This knocks Jasper's glasses off, and yet they're back on him after this shot.** '''"OOPS~!"''' ...[[Music/BritneySpears I did it again]]!** "[[UnusualEuphemism NOTHING! NOTHING! NOTHING!]] '''IT MOTHER-NOTHING HURTS!!'''"* Thank you, Goldman! (right after he's leapt off a building)* It's like they're inviting me[=/=]us IHHN!* I was never any good at gardening.* "No, help ''me''!" The strange emphasis is especially funny if you hear this while trying to save more than one civilian at a time ("No, don't help ''that'' asshole, help ''me!''").* Curien's "Yooooou shaaaaaaaaall aaaaaaaalll DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE!" in the first game's intro.* We're meeting G over there. *Judgment appears* ''What?''** This one sounds especially silly when you're playing on single-player. He still says "''we're'' meeting G", even though he's sitting alone in the car. Who's he talking to?** Monologuing to himself maybe?* "HUHR-ry-and-RUN to some-wear-SAFE!"* "My friend went inside. But they're not back yet. I told them not to go." in a mildly annoyed tone while said friends are being devoured by a giant hydra a few feet behind him.** "Heeeeelp." *Yoink* '''"NNOOOOOOO!!!!"'''* The dramatic tension in the first boss battle of ''VideoGame/{{House of the Dead}} 2'' (and, by extension, ''Typing of the Dead'') could've been a lot more pronounced had the boss character not said its infamous line ("Suffer like G did?") in the form of a question... and had the boss character not been a squeaky-voiced bat-winged [[TheImp imp]] controlling a headless suit of {{animated armor}}.** This same boss, who is in the service of Goldman, also lets out a wail when he dies: "Sir Goooooooooooolllld!"** Granted, the first two ''House of the Dead'' arcade games were unintentionally hilarious due to the unbelievably bored delivery of the entire vocal cast. The second game's "survivors" are so nonchalant about being chased by the undead it boggles the mind.*** ''House of the Dead 2'' crossed the line to just Flat-Out Funny when the final stage presented: Cyber Zombies that could walk through walls and had lightsabers. No, really.*** At the end, where Goldman dies: "IN TIME, A SUCCESSOR WILL COME." What kills this from being a foreshadowing (as if) is how he says "COME". He sounds like he either has the flu, is gargling, or he's a malfunctioning voice synthesizer. ** Let's not forget "Don't come!", a dialogue in-joke which has appeared in at least a half-dozen Namco and Capcom games. It was even quoted in ''VideoGame/ResidentEvil4.''*** When you face Tower, a five-headed hydra, your character reacts with "What?" The Narm lies in how he says it: He sounds like he's seeing anything but a multi-headed monster. He lets out another "What?" when the Magician breaks out of DBR headquarters to challenge him. This time, he sounds mildly annoyed instead of shocked that ThatOneBoss has made his introduction.** If the main games weren't intentionally hilarious, ''Typing of the Dead'' and the unrelated ''Touch the Dead'' certainly were.** As if to make up its lacking in ''3'' and ''4'', Overkill decided to overdo its Narm, by making G suffer with a {{Cluster F Bomb}}s dropping detective.* HOTD 3 isn't exempt from this, most notably when Lisa and Rogan are reunited and she finds out what "believe in yourself" means. SPOILER ALERT: [[CaptainObvious It means believe in yourself.]]** "You've got to believe in yourself.......... Lisa."* Also from HOTD 3, in the worst ending: ""WHAT LIFE DO I HAVE TO '''LIIIUHVE?!?''' *[[AndThenJohnWasAZombie groan]]** At the end of the second game:--> Logan: DAMES!--> James: Row-GUN!--> Logan: G and Hahrry are awll RIGHT! Let's leave da rest to DEM! AUGHN we GO!... To our NEXT bad-owl!--> James: As long as we have de will to lib...* [[{{Squee}} What? From Goldman??]]* What ''[=DaaAAa?!=]''* Remember, there's no such thing as a second chance.** May be even more hilarious, if you use a Continue after losing all your health.* For an actual gameplay-related example, it's kind of hard to take the fight against the Emperor in the second game seriously when his weakpoint is his ''[[GroinAttack crotch.]]''** And when he's shot, he thrashes his legs in a hillariously undignified way.** Another is just before that. The standard enemies look like robots/PowerRangers with lightsabers. They feel entirely out of place in the game and look ridiculous. They don't even fly apart when you shoot them!* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7yDD-SfQCQ#t=1m35s Don't kill me! Noooo! Help me! Help me! (You kill the zombies around him.) Thanks! You can get outside that way.]] (As in "Thanks. I appreciate your help," not "Thank you so much! I owe you my life several times over!")* "Point [=A0063=]."* The bad ending of HOTD2. While it was clearly intended to be a JumpScare, the way it's executed makes it more hilarious than anything.--> '''Goldman:''' ''*same zombie noise as all the other zombie enemies*''\\'''James:''' "Goldman!"\\''*the screen fades to white followed by the word "END" appearing...and a [[CrowningMomentOfFunny gunshot]]*''* Goldman's status as a CorruptCorporateExecutive is established with the line, "Well, the 1998 Curien case. Guess who was behind it? It was Goldman. He's the head one of the most eminent financial group (sic), and an expert on the genome (wrongly pronounced with the hard g) theory. We have to stop him!"* Barring their quality as is, even the movies aren't safe. The second movie in particular has this: [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4R5tbNUL8U Near the end of the movie, Ellis notices that antagonist Bart (who already had to cut his own hand off) has been bit. How does Bart react? By grinning and seemingly giggling to himself...then screaming "BY A MOSQUITO!!!" with a more pained expression...which he then changes right back into the prior shit-eating grin.]] Let's see, Bart's ridiculously goofy grin, his "MOSQUITO!" shriek, and Ellis' [[DullSurprise mood]] all throughout. Well, at least ''that'''s game faithful.