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Thursday, August 03, 2006

There are a couple paths, Feri being the one I'm mostly thinking of that really focuses on the power and allure of the child self.

Nimue in particular, seems to be perceived as sexually viable, and in some ways outwardly more physical than the Star Goddess who moves in almost macrocosmic aloofness. The uncontroled fey nature of the ever alluring woman/child is carried by a child. In thinking more about this, I wonder if this is a good thing.

It sort of infantalizes a womans power, and stunts it. Locks you in a geisha like existance, dependant upon the notice of other more grounded people. Makes it seem like in order to retain your charge, you need to maintain a state of unknowing.

It's hard enough for women to accept the passage of stages of life in a world that already fixates on youth. It's hard enough to accept and use your own personal power. Is it healthy to elevate a state of being that can't really be maintained?

I've always had a sort of kinship with Nimue, but recently have really seen how it holds me back. Prevents me from seeing power and direction as attractive. I find that eperiences in child self state, while the energy is thrilling, it's also scattered and pretty random. I guess what I'm finding is a need for a more consistant energy.

I'm also thinking that coming into that energy means taking a deliberate step away from archetypes that glamourize the childlike. Rather than working to be closer to a feral nature, focusing more on clear sight and self actualization. Tearing off the gossamer wings, throwing down the veil and just flat out not playing endless peekaboo with fairies.