A FUnnie look at the loony residents of the Democratic Underground aka DUmmies in particular and the Leftwing Blogosphere in general.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

DUmmie FUnnies 02-16-05 ("How has your life changed since you found out about e-voting fraud?")

It must be really depressing to be a DUmmie nowadays. Somehow the DUmmies were under the strange delusion that the American public would rise up against non-existent “vote fraud.” Instead, life has gone on as before UNLESS you are a DUmmie as you can see in this THREAD titled, “How has your life changed since you found out about e-voting fraud?” The answer is that my life hasn’t changed a bit except for the fact that I am getting enormous laughs over the DUmmies obsessing over something that didn’t happen. Oh, and I think we are in for a whole new round of laughs soon over the Jeff Gannon “scandal.” The DUmmies are currently jubilant over “revelations” that Gannon might be gay. Okay, let us assume the “worst” and that Gannon is gay (not that there is anything wrong with that as Jerry Seinfeld would say). I hate to be the one to inform the DUmmies but the last time I checked, being gay is NOT against the law. Yet somehow the DUmmies are now convinced that Gannon being gay (maybe) means that he will be arrested and that will somehow lead to the unraveling of the EVIL Bush Regime. In the meantime it is hilarious to watch the DUmmie calls for Gannon’s arrest because he might be gay. When nothing happens since being gay is not a crime, the DUmmies will once again (as is already starting to happen) go hilariously off the deep end again. But I digress. Let us now return to the DUmmie obsession with their life changing experiences due to “vote fraud.” The DUmmie obsessions are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, currently tinkiering with a Diebold machine, is in the [brackets]:

How has your life changed since you found out about e-voting fraud?

[Not a bit except that I have been laughing my butt off watching the DUmmies obsess over this non-existent fraud.]

I found out last summer about the e-voting issue, and immediately realized the long term implications, and have not been the same since. I knew the election would be stolen, even though I worked really really hard for Kerry, hoping that just maybe there would be enough of a margin to offset the fraud. I became obsessed with trying to spread the word. I still am. I work on this stuff hours and hours a week.

[I agree. You are definitely OBSESSED. Do you carry a placard in the street while screeching to the uninterested crowd about e-voting “fraud?”]

I was talking to a friend today who is also very active in the election reform movement. We were talking about how obsessed and compelled we are. How we don't exercise like we should. Spend way too many hours on the computer. Are single-mindedly focused. Don't have much else to talk about when we get together with our friends. And there are good things happening in the world, too. If you spend all your time fighting evil, it seems that is all there is, because that is all you see.

[Yeah. I can sympathize. Recently I was fortunate enough to be invited by Playboy Playmate Petra Verkaik to her hotel room. Instead of taking advantage of the situation I just kept ranting about e-voting “fraud” until she threw me out in disgust.]

t seems so difficult to work on this with any kind of moderation. There must be a way to work on this and maintain some balance in one's life. I need to smell the roses occasionally, and my body wants more exercise. Are others struggling with this?

[The e-voting fraud issue has caused my body to go into a catatonic state since November. I haven’t moved a muscle since then.]

Without DU I would never know what the hell is going on. A side effect though, I find myself growin more paranoid about things.

[Yes. Growing paranoid about everything is a definite side effect of being a DUmmie.]

Don't worry, you'll get enough exercise running from the Gestapo.

[Running from the minions of the Evil Bush Regime is definitely a great aerobic exercise. And that extra touch of paranoia gives you an even better workout.]

My ass has also widened more than I care to think about since November 2 and I think it might soon just decide to merge with the chair at my desk!! lol

[Now I know where your head has been hiding since November.]

There are times when I promise to go to bed on time, then the next thing I know, it's 2 hours later. I don't get a lot of sleep because of that. I try to hone in on specific things -- and send letters when I can.

[I stayed awake the other night worrying about if I would remember to return my library books on time.]

I really believe that much of what happens in life is preordained. So you do what you can and pray to God/Allah, whomever your choice/ and let him handle it.

[You left out Odin and Buddha in your prayers which means that the EVIL Bush Regime WILL continue.]

I was a staffer for Bill McBride as well and now know we did not really win the primary, Janet Reno did, and they fixed it for her.

[That’s one election fix you can’t blame on the EVIL Republicans. That particular fix was a Terry McAwful/Clinton deal.]

Still not getting any exercise. I've been blaming that on the holidays and the weather but the truth is that the election is mostly to blame. I think it's time to stop with the excuses and get out there. Of course, that doesn't mean I'm giving up on election issues. Just looking for a balance I can sustain over the long haul.

[It’s tough to find balance when you start off with severe mental imbalance.]

I've always been kind of a laid back person but since the election, I've become obsessive. I have trouble doing the most ordinary things, because I can hardly think about anything else.

[I have trouble squeezing oranges. My obsession with e-vote fraud is so complete that it has affected my basic motor functions. Oh, and I can’t use spoons any more which means no soup since November.]

I have always been very easy going. Since Nov 2 am in a continuous mood swing. I am getting better but still have some real dark days.

[Tell me about it! On January 20, I was dialing the Suicide Hotline…. 1-800-BUSH-WON.]

The earth is fast running out of oil and the entire world (with developing cos.) runs on it. Our culture is now totally mediated....in that it is riding on this surface of consumerism and media entertainment. It is not that we just won't be able to move around so freely there are grave predictions of the possibility that we won't be able to eat. Not many know how to grow food. Not many want to do that kind of labor. Plus the weather with global warming will be extreme. Many species could die. Man just simply is too focused on his own comfort and cares little about the ecosystem and all the creatures.

[To quote that great philosopher, Chicken Little: “THE SKY IS FALLING!!! THE SKY IS FALLING!!!”]

I am wondering if DU might be interested in a group titled Green Energy and Sustainability or something like that.

[Catchy title.]

one of my fears is that i'm getting so focused on this one issue, I can't do anything else. I don't have time to work on environmental issues, I can't watch the news. I don't even know what happened with the Iraq election.

[Dewey won.]

So, I'm broke, like most of the people who have spent the past two years working on this (including some of your national leaders whose names I won't mention because I don't want to call them out -- but, I would suggest that those of you who still have jobs set up a monthly or annual budget to send a bit each month to someone or some org. who has been working full-time on this for free -- you know, like churches ask for).

[Even Bev Harris has a subtler shtick for conning money. Try telling your fellow DUmmies that you are just $10 away from discovering how the EVIL Republicans committed e-vote fraud.]

I spend all my time on it. I have little else to offer my friends in conversation. Luckily, my dog gets me out for a daily walk. But, he's pretty bored with the whole issue! When I start talking about VVPB, he goes to the next room!

[I may have to report you to the ASPCA for animal cruelty.]

Remember that tsunami that leveled buildings, killed people, and overturned trains? It was just drops of water, folks. Drops of water that got together and did the same thing, all at the same time. We can be the visionary tsunami for good.

[Envision your own “tsunami for good” reality.]

There are a whole lot of people working on those other issues who don't have a clue that this election was a computer generated coup. If we don't deal with THIS issue, none of the rest will matter anyway. In 2006 they will get more house and senate seats and the fraud will happen in state races as well, and forget all the other issues at that point.

[ALL your computer source code belongs to US!]

From my perspective the right made a very grave error in judgement. They didn't count on the backlash that is now occurring.

[True. We didn’t count on this terrific comedy material still being generated months after the election was over.]

I'm going to make a chart/schedule for myself to allow only a certain amount of time per day for immersion into the election fraud issue and plotting how the shrub will be brought down. I haven't decided yet how much time to allow, but I do need some kind of intervention as my house looks pretty bad these days. I find I'm not even keeping up with paying my bills like I used to pre-November 3. I just can't keep off the computer. I hate watching the msm news now, I only trust the "liberal" websites. I also check news daily from aljezeera and other foreign sites as I like to know the rest of the world sees shrubco for who they really are.

[I’ve scheduled 6:00 AM to 5:59 AM the next day on a regular basis to be devoted to immerse myself into the election fraud issue. However, I am starting to feel guilty to all that useless free time I’ve allowed myself to have.]

This issue has near consumed me. I worked ferverishly in the weeks following the elections. I stay on the computer way too much, even now. Instead of focusing on finding a job, I'm working on getting VOTE off the ground. Hubby feels like an election widow. I do find that my voice is quavering less when I speak to people about the election fraud. That's a good thing. I'm broke. I'm tired. I'm disillusioned. I'm angry. Somehow, though, I can't give up. I just wish that I could go back and ignore all of this or be like those who believe that there wasn't any election fraud. Then I could sleep at night without my mind racing at the implications of what the election fraud means for this country. I force myself to craft. It helps me to take some time away and clear my mind. I find that naps are helping tremendously. I pray a lot.

[“Dear God. Please give me sanity. Amen.”]

After awhile you begin to wonder if you're actually just crazy or existing in a parellel universe.

[I’m thinking that you are crazy in a parallel universe.]

I have always trended toward "cynicism" but with a leavening humor. For the first time in my 47 years, I feel the jaws of outright despair nipping at my heels. I have passed on all data (considerable) that I have on this issue to everyone I know. I have written numerous letters to the LA Times - four published this year about the Bush junta, but NONE on this topic- as well as every Senator I thought might listen. The response has been, to say the least, underwhelming. I find that I am completely immune to all entreaties to "gear up for 2006." This strikes me as some kind of sick joke, really. Gear up for what? To be trounced again by this cabal of thieves and hypocrites? I don't think so. Why do so many Americans, especially Democrats, fail to realize what has occured? Further, how can they ignore the obvious truth that it is the very essence of insanity to continue to do the same thing over and over again and expect a different result.

[Speaking of essence of insanity….Uh, never mind.]

Take a couple days off! Come back and review the daily update threads after you have caught your breath. I am finding they really are quite comprehensive, but word of warning, two days away from here and spent with my family only makes me want to fight harder! I just can't stand to think what the world could be like for them if these DELUSIONAL individuals keep taking away EVERYTHING this country was founded on!

[Speaking of DELUSIONAL individuals….Uh, never mind.]

i don't even HAVE in anyone in real life (meaning not online) that i can talk to election fraud about (at least no one that cares about it like i do).

[Try talking about this to your Shrink.]

I am now a woman obsessed, and yet I have moments of fear going down this road given the power of those in power have. Some days I wish I could just be a mom and wife and every day person without trying to change everything.

[I hate to be the one to inform you but your yearning for normalcy WILL go unfulfilled.]

This “awakening” has left everything else in a void. It is the most surreal experience I have ever known. It shakes the foundation of your beliefs and requires serious eternalizing. I think this is why the general public cannot deal with it. They honestly can’t handle the truth, but they are not completely oblivious like many here believe. The reaction of the general public(and media), or lack of, is probably the hardest lesson I have learned from all of this. How stupid I was to think that, at the very least, the majority of Americans cherished democracy. Thank God for all of you guys here, you all make it easier to deal with. The roller coaster ride up until Jan. 6th was almost too much to bear. I am a full time student in college and my grades suffered drastically as a result of making this a priority. I had no choice, it screamed for attention.

[I bet you’re Mr. Popularity with the college chicks.]

I personally believe there is a much bigger plan to deal with this whole situation but we can not and will not be let in on it until it breaks in a huge way. Somedays I feel that time is close and other days I think I'm delusional.

[I strongly opt for that latter conclusion.]

I have two children, ages 7 and 4. I worry about the world they will have to grow up in. Mom is pretty boring these days and hard to pry away from the computer.

[I worry about your children being raised by an obsessive, delusional Mom who spends little time with them due to her fantasies.]

Lost Jobs, Friends, Money over all this crap...and I'm not a happy camper.. used to fly around the world making 6 digits now I just analyze Diebold DRE tape receipts trying to make sense out of garbage and trash we now call our votes.. it's sick sick sick...

[It's funny funny funny...]

I've known that it could happen for a long time. Seeing it happen in this election -- I came to DU the next day. And I no longer read the NY Times, cancelled my subscription, don't watch the news. No more Hardball. Only Keith. No more CNN. I've finally seen West Wing. (I used to be a news addict.) Instead of reading the awful Times on the train, I knit. So, I have knitted my dog a sweater -- that she really needed -- and my daughter.

DUfunnies continues to be the highlight of my day. These sick, twisted, broken souls...I'd love to sneak up behind one in person and yell, "Boo! I'm a conservative!" and watch them completely wig out/meltdown.

Links to this post:

About Me

I am a 30,000 year old reincarnated being who materializes once every 5000 years in a Las Vegas hotel suite. My greatest goal in my eternal life is to spend 6 months on a small tropical island with Mary Matalin doing nothing but pitching a DUmmie FUnnies book (with CD-ROM insert) deal with her. If you happen to be Mary Matalin, please contact me at:
pjcomix@gmail.com. If you are anybody else, you can contact me there too. Remember, if you are a book publisher, please feel free to embarrass me with an extravagant book advance.