Despite their occasional use of the editorial "we," they do not
necessarily represent the views of the other authors of this website.

The
advent of the home computer and the Internet not only means that the
traditional media have lost their stranglehold over mass communication but also
that what appears in them is subject to instant recall and scrutiny at any
time.In the spirit of this new
age, the Media Hall of Shame welcomes nominations from readers.Their subject must be the England team or at least
international football and their content words the author surely later
regretted having written or said—“famous last words,” if you will.

Media
Hall
of Shame Award No. 1

The News of the World via Graeme Souness advises
Kevin Keegan on what to expect from Portugal

Our
first honouree is the News of the World for
its advice to England manager Kevin Keegan on what to expect just
ahead of England’s Euro 2000 match against Portugal.The News of the World called on former Liverpool player and manager and Scotland
international Graeme Souness, whose managerial stint at Benfica in
Portugal evidently qualified him as an expert on Portuguese football.There may be those who would question advice from a Scot for England’s national team,
particularly a Scot named Graeme Souness, but the News of the World is not among them.Keegan either took the advice or independently reached the same
conclusions as Souness in another example of minds of equivalent ability thinking alike.The consequences are known to all of us.

In
fairness to the rest of the English football media, it should be said most of
them shared Souness's views on Portugal or views like them and probably
deserve some sort of honourable mention here, but none of them quite managed
to be flatly wrong as many times per column inch as the exquisite piece of
rubbish appearing in the News of the World. Their consolation is that
their turn will surely come.

Here,
then, are the award-winning excerpts from “EURO 2000:PORTUGAL ARE A BUNCH OF WIMPS” by Graeme Souness, which
appeared in the News of the World on June 11, 2000:

“If
you go back two years when Portugal came to Wembley, England won 3-0. In that
game Portugal had most of the possession but when England scored their second
they were left chasing.

"Portugal
are a typical Latin team - neat and tidy. They huff and puff a lot but they
don't cause much damage. They play a lot in areas where they can't hurt
you."

"They
keep the ball from their box up until halfway into your own half, but in the
final third of the pitch their problems really start to show. Historically,
ever since the days of Eusebio, they've never had anyone capable of scoring
goals at international level.

"When
I went to Benfica I had about 40 players on my books and a dozen of them
wanted to play in the striking role just behind the front two.

"It's
like that everywhere in Portugal. Because of that they are limited to the way
they can play.

"Rui
Costa can only play in that position for the national team. So they end up
playing with three defenders, two wing-backs and Costa playing in the 'no
responsibility' hole up front.

"If
you ask me that is a cheating position - it's a position of no responsibility,
no running back and no tackling. They all want to play as the second striker.
There is no one who wants to take the responsibility of saying: 'I'm your
goalscorer, give me the ball and I'll put it in the back of the net'.

"Of
course they have some quality players. There is Barcelona's Luis Figo,
Fiorentina's Costa and Real Sociedad's Ricardo Sa Pinto.And there's Joao Pinto, who was under my command at Benfica. But Pinto
is not a goal threat, he plays in areas that are easy to defend.

"He's
not really a goal supplier, either. He's very much an individual who catches
your eye because he's got a trick, but the end product is nowhere near enough.

"Nuno
Gomes was another player with me at Benfica who has a gift for scoring goals
in the Portuguese League. But I doubt his ability to transform that knack to
international level.

"At
Benfica he is often in the right place at the right time to score, but he's
not very brave. Tony Adams will frighten him back to the halfway line."

-----

In
case you've forgotten, Portugal--"left chasing" after England
took a two-goal lead--went on to "huff and puff a lot" in
"areas where they can't hurt you" to win 3-2.

For
the first time in five years an opponent scored more than two goals against
England, a feat accomplished by a team that
had "never had anyone capable of scoring
goals at international level."
Portugal's goals were scored by three different players on a team that had
"no one who wants to take the responsibility of saying: 'I'm your
goalscorer, give me the ball and I'll put it in the back of the
net.'"

Their
first
goal came from Figo's long-range shot, taken from an area "where they can't hurt you," their second
from Joao Pinto, who was "not a goal threat," and
their third from a courageous short-range effort, taken as Tony Adams lunged
in, by Nuno Gomes, whose international
goalscoring ability was doubtful and whom Adams would frighten "back to the
halfway line" because he was "not very brave."

We could go on at length, but suffice it to say it was England's defence that
was "frightened back," continually retreating in bewilderment from Portuguese
play in "areas where they can't hurt you," and it was Portuguese play in
"areas where they can't hurt you" that led to all three Portugal goals.