TONIGHT the world can rest assured that Madonna, stuck at home healing her horse-broken bones, won’t be writhing in a wedding gown or kissing a preggers Britney Spears at MTV’s Video Music Awards. Yet even with the Material Matron on the sidelines, a few looming questions remain:

* Will Jesus walk the red carpet with Kanye West?

* Will Mariah Carey shimmy up the scaffolding as Timmy, the bassist of Rage Against the Machine, did five years ago?

* Will Gwen Stefani arrive with a posse of Harjuku girls, assuming she doesn’t boycott the awards because MTV didn’t ask her to perform?

* How will Diddy, the host formerly known as Sean Combs, Puffy, Puff Daddy and P. Diddy (THFKASCPPDAPD, for short), top his stuntman-assisted jet-pack entrance to last month’s nominations ceremony?

* Will the Killers (up for four VMAs) have a fist fight with the Bravery (nominated for the MTV2 award)?

The awards, to be broadcast live at 8 p.m. from the American Airlines Arena in downtown Miami, always manage to have some surprises. Some are planned, like the freakish appearance of Axl Rose and Guns N’ Roses in 2002. Some couldn’t be more improvised, such as Michael Jackson mistakenly accepting the artist of the millennium award the same year.

What we do know about tonight’s show is this:

On the “surprise” end of things, My Chemical Romance will perform their smash “Helena” in an unannounced performance. The Latin hip hop sound known as Reggaeton will get its due with a medley from Daddy Yankee, Don Omar and Tego Calderon.

Green Day, the pop punks who garnered a eight nominations for “Boulevard of Broken Dreams” and “American Idiot,” will perform, along with R. Kelly, 50 Cent, Coldplay, Shakira, Ludacris, the Killers and Kelly Clarkson.

Mariah, who loves sand between her toes, will perform from South Beach. She’s up for a two Moon Men: best female video and best R&B video for her sappy but mesmerizing “We Belong Together.”

Kanye West, up for three VMAs, including video of the year for “Jesus Walks,” and Oscar-winner Jamie Foxx will perform “Gold Digger.”

Others with potential to win big are Gwen Stefani and Missy Elliot with six nods each, and U2 with five.

During the VMA preshow this year, those TV/music/movie celebs who don’t anchor their boats in Miami will arrive in tricked-out “Pimp My Ride”-style cars before they cruise the red carpet as part of the super-extended, two-hour pre-award peacock party.

It’s almost the only chance you’ll have to see actual videos on MTV during prime time.