Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Humans Everywhere

I see humans everywhere.I can’t seem to avoid them.I’m not complaining, mind you, just stating a fact.Don’t believe the hype.Contrary to what you might have heard about me, some of my favorite living creatures are humans; they’re not all bad.But sometimes I’d like a little respite from these wonderful biped mammals, so I can enjoy some quality Der Viator time alone.

For instance, I went to the coffeehouse on Monday for a mocha and cinnamon scone with the intention of gathering my thoughts and working through issues.So far so good, right?Well, let me finish please.Once I got inside the place, I found myself in a Lion’s Den of humans.One of them, a portly male in his fifties, was coughing into his morning paper, while two females at another table were cackling so loudly that I earnestly feared I’d bust an eardrum.When I went to the grocery store last night for a carton of milk, I suddenly felt lost in a sea of humanity.Again, humans were everywhere, pushing their carts into mine, grabbing for cans of this and bags of that.I went to the park this past weekend because the weather was so nice, and what did I find there in great abundance?You got it: humans!So much for enjoying nature!

To give you an inkling of the problem, here is a list of places I visited this week that humans tainted with their ubiquitous presence: the bookstore, Manny’s Bar & Grill, my daughter’s soccer game, my other daughter’s track and field meet, McDonald’s, a Turkish bathhouse, a military base, the gas station, the bank, Wal-Mart, the Turkish bathhouse again, the DMV, an auto parts store, the gym, the university, yet another trip to the Turkish bathhouse, Dairy Queen, and a rock concert.Humans everywhere!Today I caught myself in the mirror and was reminded of my own humanity.Perhaps these humans that annoy me so much are not too different from myself, I thought.Why should I begrudge them for filling up space when I too seek the same experiences? After all, these loud, hairy creatures are simply going about their business as I do. Once I stopped looking in the mirror, however, I came to my senses.That’s bullshit.Humans are everywhere!