I awoke as if beckoned,pulled by some cosmic string out the doorand into the fresh, sea air

my sleepy eyes struggled to focus,but when they did, I was mesmerized

for, sometime as I slept,something magical had happened –night had become as smooth as a mirror,the entire canopy of stars shining with ebullience above, casting a perfect reflection across the surface of the water

it looked as though there were now two heavens, one above and one below,nothing but a sliver of silver-blue separating them

‘where do I stand?,’ I wondered,night’s silence and purity louder than any waves I'd ever heard,its stillness heavy with presence,holding in the warmth of its palm something I needed to know

I listened, but no words were heard,there was only the stillness,but in that stillness, there was a luminescence from within, one just a bright as the sacred, mirrored stars, its tentacles reaching from one excitation to the next, energy to energy, reaching out to commune, to converge

it was as though all the most disparate elements of my biography were at last knitting together,all that I have loved and known in this world stitching themselves up, forming a never-ending tapestry of constellation,becoming one thing

I felt alive,more alive than I’ve ever felt,more awake,my mind and heart humbly able to function at the uppermost limits of their capacities,seeing and understanding everything,as though watching it all from the highest imaginable ridge

except, there I was,mere mortal,standing not upon a ridge, but somewhere inside the sliver of silver-blue

she spent years pushing awaythe things she wanted more than anything;wanting them too much scared the hell out of her,because sometimes people lose themselvesin wanting too much, at least, that's what she thought, that's what she'd learned

but the only way to know, the only way to find out, was to leap,to want something so badly,it nearly made her crack with hope,to risk,to grab on with both hands,plant it in the center of her heart and see if it blooms

so, she planted,and planted

she found out that she didn't lose herselfin the wanting, not at all;she found herself in the hope

there was a void inside her,a dark closet with a locked doorwhere she dare not ignite the filament,for, when light spread its ominous tentacles, fearful tears came and eyes averted, while scratchy, well-used voices shouted at her from shadowed corners,reminding her she shouldn't, couldn't, didn't measure up,doesn't deserve

she was always coming or going, life and love at light speed,until she became onlythe coming and the going,until the going became imminent,a glimpse of ‘what if’,prying wide her eyes,forcing her to see thather feet were rooted in the moment,which was fleeting

Top Posts & Pages

Fine Print:

All content belongs to Angela Kay and Heart Breathings, 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Kay and Heart Breathings with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. Thanks!