A thirty something Ivy Leaguer keeps the public aware of her opinions on things topical and struggles with multiple demons: alcohol, the law and remaining effortlessly hip in a changing world.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

The Long Kiss Goodnight

Oh wow I have been awake for almost 31 hours. I am going cold turkey. Not off heroin. Not off coke. Not off alcohol. Antipsychotics. Antimanics. Antidepressants. I am incapable of doing things slowly right now. Instant karma's gonna get ya. And miles to go before I sleep. I have enough tranks to take down Capitol Hill but I am okay for now. I am not strung out. I have been posting. Posting away on one of my boards. Hell, I should have been blogging for you, all my dear dear friends. Coughing fit. Okay. Well. I just hope this doesn't wrinkle me. You know speed up my aging. These growing pains. Liz Taylor said that's how she kept her looks so long. It was all the sedation.Thats what I have had. Not sanity. Sedation. Not peace. Pills. Freedom is not being beholden to the bottle. okay okay I still take stuff for my stomach. I can live through psychosis but not acid reflux.

25 Comments:

Wow, Biki, you are taking the bull by the horns! I hope you are doing this with a doc's care. Either way, I admire your courage and willingness to take on the demons. I am praying for your success, and that peace and happiness will be yours!

Hey guys. Pills are easier than chocolate and ice cream. I don't eat chocolate and ice cream often but I think about them all the time. I never buy that at the regular grocery store. I run out to the corner store in the cover of darkness giving into obsession and cursing myself all the way.

Is George Bush your fav? I am ok. Sleeping sporadically. I assumed I would eventually just crash-like when coming down off coke or speed. Wrong. I can exist in state of extreme exhaustion for longer than I thought. I need to post something cheerful.

LOL I didn't even think of him!! And now that I do, he doesn't even make the top five... I still have not eliminated enough of my ego and self-will to knock myself out of the top spot.

I'm glad you're okay. I hope you'll be able to get some good restful sleep soon. Don't forget to eat. When all I wanted was coffee and cigarettes a few months ago my sister told me to eat yogurt, cheese, apples, bananas and carrots, and drink a lot of fruit juice. Kept me going for a few weeks till my appetite returned. For what it's worth...

Hey chica, dont forget to stay connected, and talk to your doctor, and I dont know if you are familiar with PAWS? Post Acute Withdraw Syndrome? There is a chapter on it in one of our books, its called Sober Linving, not to be confused with living sober. May I also suggest that you get a counselor? Maybe someone who is a drug and alcohol counsel, to talk you through the stuff you may be going through...

and on a lighter note...LOL did you know Turtles smell through their butts? LOL