Monday, July 13, 2015

When my head hits the pillow, this is usually exactly
when I remember that I forgot to squeeze in some sort of formal exercise
program, not counting the act of trampling my kids to get to the last bag of
chips in the cupboard. There’s the practical speech I say to myself at the end
of each day – the cold, hard truth that yes, I likely could have done a lot
better in many respects. Maybe I didn’t need to screech at my kids like a feral
barn cat to hurry up out the door so I could get to work on time. And I quote: “I swear if you don’t hurry the @#$% up,
Mommy is going to put her head right through this wall.” Yes, I was so tired
and exhausted before the day even started, that I swore at my kids. Good times,
proud moments. At which point my 6-year old stared at me with a mixture of awe
and wonder, and stated: “Whoa. That must
be a special head you have there if you can put it through a wall. Can I
watch?”

The crazy part is,
when recollecting some of these less-than-glorious
moments, that’s when I feel God's love. That comment from my kid had me giggling
like a fool for the rest of the day; he was so awestruck by my incredible head,
he momentarily forgot he was in trouble. It reminded me to find joy in every
awful, crappy, disastrous, hair-pulling, godforsaken moment because hey,
sometimes I think that’s exactly where the Big Guy hangs out, just to make sure
you pull through to the other side. And it’s on the banks of the other side
that I remember to be thankful for all I’ve been given. Because it’s all I
need, and then some.

Here forthwith are your responses to what you
say to yourself at the end of each day.

I try to practice gratitude, whenever I find
a moment.

I am so thankful for every experience I have
and for the people who have come through my life. I am so richly blessed in
every way.

Who has time to pause and contemplate at the
end of the day? Is this a trick question?

Keep working hard and cut yourself some slack
for not doing it all at once.

I am so lucky to have found someone that I
truly can’t live without, and every day I say thanks for having this person in
my life.

Wow. I am so blessed.

I tell myself to quit what I’m doing, and
find something I actually enjoy.

I’m exhausted. But I wouldn’t have it any
other way!

I tell myself that it’s all gonna be OK…time
to sleep.

That was an interesting day. I wonder what
will happen tomorrow…

We have no shortage of love in this house, so
we will be OK.

Was I the best person I could be today?

I am lucky to have the life I do.

I pray for health and happiness for me and my
family.

That you God for another day sober.

Well, I barely take a second to do so, but
when I do I am proud of what I was able to accomplish.

Well done. And what’s next?

How did I get so lucky? And I will be a
better me tomorrow.

Wow, who would have guessed it…I love my
life. Where will it take me next?

It’s all worth it.

I have it good.

I often say you did the best you could – now
get up, dust off and try again.

I am fucking tired.

I am pretty darn lucky to have such an
amazing job and that I get to come home at the end of the day to people who
make me laugh and smile. Also, that I am so lucky to have so many people who
care about me and who will help me and come to the rescue whenever I need them.

I forgive myself. I am whole and complete.

I tell myself, “You did good.”

Be happy for what you have.

Mostly “Why the fuck am I so tired when I
didn’t get anything done?”, and then sometimes “Wow. It just doesn't get any better than this!"

Hang on buddy, it’s getting good…

I thank God, because life is good. I was
lucky enough to be born in the best country in the word, where I don’t have to
fear for my safety or struggle to have the basic necessities of life.

I say, “I gotta check my email…”. Then my
last thoughts depend very much on whether everyone is in bed.

Anne of Green Gables put it best: “Tomorrow
is fresh, with no mistakes in it.”

I think about how I was able to make a
difference in some small way, and how others made a difference for me.

I experienced some depression when I was
going through menopause. I came to the conclusion that at the end of each day,
I would think of what was really important which is my family. As long as they are
all alive and healthy, then it’s a good day.

I’m so lucky. I never had to fight a war, and
I’m still healthy and able to do most things. What a great privilege.

FUCK! What were you thinking!!!

That I will do more tomorrow!

At the end of each day my husband and I each
say what we are grateful for…I read the other day that it is impossible to be
negative when one is being grateful.

Sequence: Holy @#$% this is hell! Would you
change it? No, not a thing.