Pages

Tuesday, 15 January 2013

WINTER HAS COME

Winter well and truly arrived in the Royal City overnight with an inch deep blanket of snow covering the streets and buildings. However, weather wizards warn worsening conditions round the corner.

The year's first flakes of snow fell moments after Queen Janna's funeral procession left the Royal City yesterday. As the evening wore on, the snowfall grew steadily heavier. Temperatures plunged below freezing overnight, meaning citizens woke this morning to find their city covered in white, with sparkling icicles hanging from rooftops and frozen gargoyles.

HORRENDOUS

The unexpected snowfall has caused problems for local businesses.

'The traffic on the way into work this morning was horrendous,' said Arendahl the Baker (28), a baker with a bakery on Bone Street. 'Took me fifty minutes instead of the usual five and I nearly sprained an ankle climbing over a horse and cart jam off Crosskey Square.'

Not everyone was so put out however.

'Wheeeeeee!' said Theresa Nevergully (8), as she sped down an icy hill in a home-made toboggan.

'Oof!' remarked Bertil Grazer (40), an itinerant tinker, as he was hit by Theresa Nevergully in her home-made toboggan.

BEARDED

This sudden change in the weather caught many experts by surprise. This surprise has led them to warn that these conditions might not be altogether natural, making any predictions about how long they might last or how cold it might get a difficult task.

Others were less surprised by our winter turning abruptly wintry.

'I've been saying winter's coming for years,' muttered a bearded passer-by (65), who refused to give a name.

A more helpful comment was provided by Tyrea Chan of the Church of Damerika: 'This is a sign that we are not the only ones saddened by Queen Janna's passing. The Gods are clearly in mourning too.'