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I was sent a link to an interesting article. It was on one of those sites that don’t offer a “back to the main page” link. I wanted to see what other stuff the website might have to offer, so I just started URL bashing. I never did find the front page of the site, but while browsing around the directory (note to webmasters: you really should turn off directory browsing or use default documents) I stumbled on a couple of gems.

This is probably the best game review I’ve read in ages. It tells you everything you need to know about Crysis. It’s pretty much what I expected. It’s Far Cry with More Better graphics, which is odd because I don’t think the graphics in Far Cry needed any work. The gameplay did. “Try to sneak up on a group of heavily armed, poorly voiced soldiers with telescopic eyesight and advanced paranoia, who all have nothing better to do than to peer into the jungle ceaslessly and shoot anything that moves.” Whee. The game has its fans, but I am not among them. I cheated my way through Far Cry and found that the game felt more like work than anything else.

Looks like Crysis is Far Cry, only more so. Still, the review was fun to read. I like the comic-book style approach. I’d be tempted to do the same thing, but the bandwidth costs would muder me.

Can we get a translated version perhaps? I first thought the signs were gibberish.. then I recognized it as Russian. That’s when I figured maybe it would make more sense if we knew what it was saying.
Plus, I’m sure the Web Hive Mind can gather and figure out those dozen or so that are label-less.

The Crysis review is absolutely clever! Its also the most honest review I have seen. Most are along the lines of “MY GOD IT IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND THE MODELING IS SO RIGHTEOUS AND MY EYES BLED! anditskindaaveragegameplay MY GOD DID YOU SEE THE TEXTURES ON THAT ALIEN!”

I have a few directories that are browseable on my webspace. They serve as open places for me to dump humorous images and just link to. Since almost the entirety of the directory is made up of WoW images, I think locking it down to browsing would defeat the purpose of showing my insanity off to the world.

Ah, Far Cry. I’m with Shamus. If it hadn’t been for cheat codes, I’d have dropped it out of sheer boredom and never seen the anticlimactic ending. Multiplayer is a lot of fun though; like the boys at the ESRB say: “Game Experience May Change During Online Play”. And it’s a damn good thing, too.

I also don’t think I’d spend the denarii to upgrade my system for this game. COD4, perhaps. I have to build another station for BF2 LAN parties anyhow, so might as well pimp it out. *sigh*

The two who broke that Warcraft dude’s sword are the two heroes of Broken Sword (in theit broken sword 3 version).

The firemen are Ultima 8’s Avatar (and mimics?) and the guy on fire is Richard Garriott as he disguised himself for interviews around U7-U8 time.

the four attached swordsmen are the team from Might and Magic 6, not people from HoMM. the HoMM homage is the little knight looking at a pile of poop.

To the left is Nemesis from Resident Evil 3 being held at gunpoint by the barbarian from Severance. further left the pile of bodies includes a warhammer 40K ork and the two heroes from Gobliins 2.

The guy juggling behind purple tentacle is the Dark savant from Wizardry. Before the Evil Genius guy, from right to left, you can find a sectoïd from X-Com (holding the gamescape), Malcolm from Legend of Kyrandia (mistakenly labeled as beign from Pandemonium) and Scotia from Lands of Lore.

Plus a pig cop from Duke Nukem between the Beyond Good and Evil characters.

i’m not sure about the sectiod. wrong head shape, for one thing. also, the globe looks unlike the gamescape. X-com seems to have been left off the list for some reason, as i don’t see an aquatiod or anthropod, who are equivilent aliens from the other two games of the series.

I just rolled a one on my saving throw verus nerd, didn’t i?

EDIT: dudes, the leftmost guy in that frame is Cthullu. did you really miss THAT?

Well, seems as though a few of you guys got most of the ones I was going to point out, but here’s a few more:
-The man and the woman running from the mafia member are Brian and Gina from the adventure game series “Runaway”
-I’m pretty sure that the woman working as a secretary for Cthulu is Hecubah, the primary antagonist from Westwood’s Nox RPG

I don’t know any Russian, but thanks to Greek I recognize a lot of Cyrillic letters. From what I can tell, the Prince of Persia is saying “phuch”, which is probably a Cyrillicization of a certain English word. There’s an even better-labeled version here.

I didn’t think Crysis was anywhere near worthy of all the slobbering that assorted reviewers did over it, but it was OK. I didn’t care much at all for Far Cry, but IMHO Crysis is a much better game then that, though the semi-omniscient AI is annoyingly the same.

I was surprised about the review’s vehicle comments. I didn’t have much problem with the humvees, but I thought the whole VTOL segment was utter cr*p. Yahtzee’s Zero Punctuation Crysis review captures my sentiments on that pretty well.

Like I said, it’s not a bad game, and I probably would have liked it a whole lot more if the game didn’t go downhill so quickly in the final third of the game (from the spaceship on).

“Combining all of these on a wheel where you can pick from one or the other…”

…sounds like something Dark Forces 2: Jedi Knight did a decade ago!
But then, I like to spontaneously spout my kooky crackpot opinion that the Jedi Knight games are the best FPSes ever at any opportunity.
This zany opinion is fueled mostly by my need to clearly see exactly where all the shots from all my weapons go, my need to be allowed to always take a third-person view behind my character, and the ability to Force Grip, Force Push, kick, and in some cases Force Pull people off ledges (a well-established trope in the movies, too!) without having to really fight them at all.

FPSes aren’t really my scene, anyway. I’m not going to buy another one until the next Jedi Knight game comes out. RTSes are more my style. Also City of Heroes/Villains, which possesses several key similarities to the JK series (most notably the ability to super jump, super speed, and otherwise be able to actually move instead of plodding at a snail’s pace through the world).