If you're going to do something, do it properly. A fine creed, and just as applicable to playing the pink oboe as any other worthwhile hobby.
Designed not only to tell you how well you are doing it and what effect it’s having, but also to encourage the development of your technique and make it a more pleasurable experience, this …

Uhmm

Best velcroed waterproof pouch on market

hmmm

This is exactly the sort of hands-on approach needed to finally settle that age-old question; just which nation is full of wankers ? Is there an iPhone version coming (as I would expect that the number of wankers would soar if so...) ?

Like the idea of the "encouraging" sounds.. but surely a picture would be more appropriate? You could have two, even - one of Halle Berry playing tennis perhaps for those racing towards the quick shufty, and another of Anne Widdecombe's ankle for those looking to extend their stamina... ?

Good to see it's free though, I wouldn't pay for such an app what with being so tight-fisted...

For a minute there...

I was going to congratulate you on the work that went into your April fool joke, but unless you've gone to the trouble of registering an app on the market *and* somehow getting backdated comments on it, the app is real! lmao!