We were headed from Cleveland to Detroit for one of our
glorious executive games. The four of us opted to spend the night in Maumee,
which is just outside of Toledo and the then-home of the Mud Hens.

Being guys on a baseball road trip and our stop unexpected,
we opted for the cheapest place possible.

Now, my version of the cheapest place possible actually means
the cheapest Hampton Inn or similar chain with a breakfast bar that includes a
waffle maker. And splitting a room four ways makes that somewhat reasonable.
Plus, you get waffles in the morning.

My companions disagreed. For one thing, we’d need two rooms.
And another, they had lower standards.

Gulp.

We ended up in a chain famous for being inexpensive.

We walked into the office area and discovered the clerk
sitting behind the kind of thick bulletproof glass you see in gas stations in
dangerous neighborhoods. I've never seen something like that in a Red Roof Inn,
much less the Essex House.