I don't mind subtle messages in stories,
because, I mean, someone has to teach
my children how to behave. (Why are you
looking at me like that?) But no one likes a book that tastes like a
spoonful of castor oil.

The ones with the mom who doesn't care
that grandma's urn just got knocked off the shelf with a whoopee cushion and
her mom's ashes are all over the floor. "Oh I still love you!"

Or...

"Mommy doesn't care that you nearly
suffocated your brother with a post-Taco Bell dutch oven. You're still perfect
to me!"

It's just unrealistic. Most moms would
be yelling, "Get to your room! And don't walk on Grandma on your
way!"

I really don't need reminders of my
areas of lacking as a mom. Especially right now when I'm hiding in the
bathroom because the kids are home on their sixth snow day.

It seemed like a good idea. (image by Russell Curtis via sxc.hu)

Some people complain about the poor
mother images in Disney princess movies. But I defend them. These stories give my child an excellent
standard with which to compare my mothering. "Hmm, mom hasn't locked me in
the dungeon or made me mop the castle floor today. She really is a great
mom!"

The flaw in my rant is this short story
I'm working which has an iPhone obsessed father. Hypocritical? Or fair and
honest reporting of bad fathering habits?

Argh, why did I move into this
glasshouse the same month I won a lifetime supply of bricks?

Of course, I've been working on that! Here's a sample art note: child has face painted like KISS. licks ashes than waggles tongue at mother. Too much? (There are times I wonder if I'm in the wrong genre...)

Erik - you can totally reuse that. Actually that might be a good picture book called "Destined for Failure." The first spread is the guy making bricks in his greenhouse. The next is a monkey trying to fly a kite in the jungle. I can't think of anymore right now... but I might be on to something!!

Lauri Meyers is a children's writer living part-time in New
Jersey and part-time in the fantasy worlds she builds in her head. She is a member of the SCBWI. She
enjoys laughing until her sides hurt and making other people laugh until
organic milk squirts out of everyone's noses. She left corporate finance due to the infrequency of milk fountains.