Workers of the world, unite!Roll Tide! All comrades Alabama students rejoice in the streets of Communist Leningrad Tuscaloosa, as the Red Army Crimson Tide is enjoying great success at home and abroad! But the Stalin Saban regime cannot succeed without the full support of a grateful nation! Are you loyal… or a traitorous deserter?!

You see, for all the success and rabid fan support as Alabama enjoys, apparently their student section has been less than perfect, and that just WILL … NOT … DO. It’s to the point where missing three games could result in banishment. We’re not kidding (very much). THE CRIMSON WHITE explains what dire consequences await the owners of unused tickets:

The commission’s submitted “Recommendations and Rationale” to the Athletic Ticket Department reads, “Once a student has three ‘resets’ [unused, non-donated, non-transferred tickets], they immediately become ineligible for postseason tickets for that year, and are also ineligible to purchase tickets for the following year.”

Although UA President [Robert] Witt had not seen the list of recommendations when he spoke to The Crimson White on Friday, he had a similar idea about what to do about students who do not use their tickets.

“I think without really having to reach very far, you could come up with a plausible set of explanations about why a student could not use his or her ticket for a given game,” Witt said. “That said, I think that the purchase of a ticket in a way is a privilege, and you owe it to your classmates, if you’re not going to use it, to get it back into the system.”

Back to the collective! For the good of the country system! Violators will be slain ineligible! But seriously, think about how wild this is: Alabama is instituting an attendance policy for its football games. Most of their classes don’t even have attendance policies!

If you think the students might find this a touch unfair, well, Alabama has ways of making them understand, you see.

When asked if he thought the proposal involving penalties would be met with much student opposition, [head of the student football ticket commission and SGA chief of staff Robert]Byrd said, “I fully expect people to understand the commission’s reasoning.”