How To Read Her Secret Signals

You spot her across the bar, all long legs and billowing hair. You walk up to her table and slyly ask her to join you in a drink. You're reeking of confidence. You're looking your best. And you're... instantly rejected.

What the hell happened?

You didn't read her body language before swaggering over. Follow the signals stated below and you'll go from rejected to respected in no time flat.

Signal 1: The Open Circle

Take a look around the bar on any Saturday night and what do you see? Groups of women circling tables and sharing cocktails, right? Now, if you look a little closer you'll notice that most of these groups of women are arranged in either open or closed circles. The open circle is more of a horseshoe shape than a circle, and is a very good sign. When we leave one open position at the table, we're literally beckoning you over. So what are you waiting for? Grab an extra dirty martini and your best smile, and come charm the hell out of us.

What you do not, I repeat do not, want to do is approach a closed circle. You know the type. We're hunched in toward the center of the table and speaking with each other animatedly. When you catch a glimpse of this situation, the best thing you can do is steer clear for the night.

Signal 2: The Wandering Eye

As women, we have an innate ability to multitask at all times and this talent is heightened when we are in a bar. As we chat up our friends about our new lipstick shade or eyebrow wax, we are really keeping a careful watch on the door. Why? Because we know something (or someone) who comes in will most certainly be more interesting than our current conversation. When you catch a woman constantly keeping her eye on the front door, walk up, introduce yourself and take her out of her multitasking misery.

Signal 3: The Catwalk

I'm going to let you guys in on a little secret here. We do not head to the bathroom every five minutes just for the sake of peeing. If we're wearing a hole in the carpet from walking the same path in front of you every few minutes, pay attention! That's usually a good indicator that we're waiting for you to ask us over for a drink.

Side note here: There is one other reason we may be passing you several times on our way to the bathroom. If we look green, unbalanced or have a friend holding us up, stay away. Stay far, far away.

On to the stare, the hairdo flirt and other signs that she wants you to come on over...