Hanky Panky

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Mario Andretti said Tuesday he did not intentionally stall his car on the track to force a yellow caution flag and give his son Michael a chance to catch up to Indianapolis 500 winner Rick Mears. Mears took the lead from the younger Andretti on the 188th lap of Sunday's race and was pulling away before Mario stopped on the track near the entrance of the pits. Under the yellow, Mears kept the lead, but Michael was able to close the gap. Mears stayed in front and beat the younger Andretti across the finish line by 3.1 seconds.

Junk for Judd JMB Realty honcho Judd Malkin's estranged wife Jeanne isn`t his only adversary these days. The janitors union at L.A.'s Century City contended in a full-page ad in Friday's Variety that their members who work in JMB buildings are paid "near minimum wage" and have no health benefits. The ad further calls on Century City tenants to mail the contents of their office garbage cans to Malkin-and thoughtfully provided his Chicago mailing address. Quick Richie on Fast Eddie Reporters to Mayor Daley: "Why has Ed Vrdolyak been so quiet about the Lake Calumet Airport?"

A slab of tender roast beef topped with steaming hot juices is a rare treat. Less muddled with broiled or grilled taste than a steak, prime rib unmasks the basic quality of the beef. By limiting its dinner menu to nothing but this meat, Lawry's the Prime Rib, 100 E. Ontario St., stakes its entire reputation on its meat. Deftly carved at tableside, prime rib becomes a royal delight accompanied only by potato, vegetable and a wedge of Yorkshire pudding. The best pieces of Lawry's prime rib come with a bone that's too good for Fido to gnaw on. JUKE BOX SOURCE: By Jay Pridmore.

The producers of "Frontline," the Public Broadcasting Service's award-winning show, aren`t very specific when dealing with Tuesday's program at 9 p.m. on WTTW-Ch. 11, but they are predicting an investigative report of "national and worldwide implications." The program, "Buying the Bomb," marks the debut of Seymour Hersh on the series. Hersh is a former newspaper reporter who won the Pulitzer Prize in 1970 for his report on the My Lai massacre during the Vietnam War. "Buying the Bomb" details the efforts of a Third World nation to obtain the elements for the construction of a nuclear bomb.

If we are to believe some press reports, the Royal Highlander is back in the sex business. Ever since this most famous sleeper train first made its overnight journey from Euston to Inverness in 1927, it has enjoyed a pretty loose reputation. It is said to be not quite as glamorous, perhaps, as the Orient Express, but packed with lascivious lairds sowing their last oats before the Highlands. Now, we are told, the corridor-creeper is back. "Eight sleeping cars of swapping lovers," leered one observer.

Have you ever wondered what makes humans different from animals? It's not intelligence. For every human who does something intelligent, hundreds more participate in bowling leagues. No, what makes humans different from animals is that humans have music. And why don`t animals have music? Because they know musical instruments are manufactured from dead animals. The first instruments were drums, which primitive tribes made by stretching animals over hollow logs and beating on them.