Tony Antos was driven by love of his wife and children

Anthony J. “Tony” Antos of Vestal had a gift for making people around him feel, and work, better.

A police officer, boss and businessman, he stayed on friendly terms with former coworkers, even from way back, said Terrence Heslin of Binghamton.

“I don’t think anybody disliked him at all, and that’s very unusual for a supervisor,” said Heslin, a retired city police officer.

Tony loved the sun and the surf, and especially the New York Yankees, said his daughter, Stacy Bowman of Endicott. But above all, she said, was his family. Bowman recalled him as a father who worked hard — sometimes three jobs at once — to provide.

“He and my mother made sure the kids never went without anything,” she said. “He worked so hard.”

Tony was a City of Binghamton police officer for two decades. Heslin worked with Tony for several years and remained friends for much longer.

When Tony died June 14, Heslin said, the loss was felt by many who had known him over the years.

“He was a great family man,” Heslin said. “His family came first, but his friends always came second.”

Family first

Tony grew up on Mygatt Street in Binghamton’s First Ward, a Slovak enclave that he always recalled fondly, Bowman said. He played CYO basketball for St. Cyril’s, and was proud that his love of sports has continued into his grandchildren’s generation.

Upon returning from his service in the Korean War, where he was an Army MP, Tony met his future wife, Phyllis Cacala Antos, right next door. Bowman recalled the story of their meeting.

“She was coming out of the house with her mother and saw my dad for first time,” Bowman said. “She looked at her mom and said ‘I’m going to marry him.’”

They became friends, Bowman said, but her father was dating someone else. In fact, Bowman said, Tony once went over to Phyllis’ house to get help wrapping his girlfriend’s Christmas gifts. As it turned out, Tony’s Christmas list changed forever soon after.

“My mother did help him, but then they got together, and they were married 58 years,” she said. “My mom and him were inseparable. They had a great marriage.”

The two had four children: Sharon Eleftheratos of Surfside Beach, Fla.; Joseph Antos of Chino Hills, Calif.; Anthony Antos of Las Vegas; and Bowman. There are a dozen grandchildren, and many nieces and nephews.

“I remember no matter what, every time he had an errand to run I always went with him,” Bowman said. “Back then there was no seatbelt law, so I would sit on top of the console, I was so little, right next to him.”

Wrestling with Dad in the living room, gifts filling the living room at Christmas, and summertime family trips to the Jersey Shore — those are the memories that will stick for the children, Bowman said.

“We went to Wildwood the first week of August every year with a bunch of families,” Bowman said. “Mom and Dad worked every year to make sure we could go.”

A large part of that work took place on the streets of Binghamton.

Working retirement

In his 20 years on the police force, Tony walked a beat, worked in vice in the early 1970s, and eventually made lieutenant. Heslin said he was very well-liked on the job.

“He would go out of his way to make sure guys got what they needed,” he said. “If you needed a day off for something important, he would go out of his way to make sure you got it.”

Heslin recalled Tony as a boss who led by example and influence, not by fiat.

“He was the kind of who would never ask you to do something he wouldn’t do himself,” Heslin said. “He would say, ‘Would you do me a favor?’ like that. He was persuasive. He was very fair.”

With 20 years in, Tony retired. Heslin said he had always told them he would retire after 20, but nobody really believed it until it happened.

“We all kind of kidded him, but he fooled all of us,” he said.

For Tony, retirement didn’t mean the end of work. He owned a bar on Main Street, Tony A’s Sportsman’s Club, where his sons would work before they moved out of the area. He also worked as a law office courier and ran a parking lot on Chenango Street. From his booth, he would preside over gatherings of police officers during down times on their beats, Heslin said.

Bowman recalled that her father’s lot was so popular that the crowd of cops usually overflowed the tiny shack.

“It would be so full of guys that he used to stand outside the door,” she said, laughing.

Grandson Tony Eleftheratos recalled that same quality in a eulogy he wrote upon Tony’s passing that was delivered at the funeral.

“I was always amazed how everywhere I went with him, he always saw someone he knew — didn’t matter where we went in town or out of town — and how they were always so excited to see him,” Eleftheratos wrote. “He just made everyone around him happier, by telling a joke, or one of his amazing stories.”

Bowman said the children and grandchildren were her parents’ pride and joy. Tony made a point that whenever a grandchild had a sports event that he could attend, he would be there. Bowman said her son was particularly close to her father, who would be cheering him no matter how sick he was. That closeness, she said, will last.

“My son’s going to be a senior this year, and it’s going to be really hard without him in the stands,” she said. “My son said [right after Tony died] he had a dream when he came out of the locker room and saw my dad sitting in the stands. I said to him, ‘He definitely will be there. He wouldn’t miss a game.’”