Which is not to say that it's easy. In many ways, self-publishing is more difficult than the traditional method of working with an established publisher. The question I hear most in my role as children's collection management librarian for Oakland Public Library is "how do I get my book into your library?" It's a complicated answer, so let me break it down for you:

Like most libraries, we select books for our collection based on professional reviews. If a book has been reviewed by Kirkus, School Library Journal, Horn Book, or another professional journal, we have some basic information about exactly what will land on our shelves if we order that book. Is it great for storytime? Is it written in terrible, awkward rhyme?* A professional review, to us, is a recommendation on whether or not to buy a book. The more recommendations we can get, the better.

Is your book available through a major distributor? It's easiest for us to buy books through distributors like Baker & Taylor, Brodart, and Ingram, and we do most of our purchasing that way. That's not to say that we can't buy your book if it's not available through one of those, just that it's a lot easier if it is.

Most self-published books do not end up in our regular ordering stream because they don't get enough professional reviews in a timely fashion. Without a major publisher backing a book, it's just not likely to happen. There is a way around that, though:

Send us a copy. Take a look at OPL's Author and Publisher Submissions policy. All the instructions you need to submit your book are there. If we can review your book in person, we can get the information we'd otherwise get from professional reviews. If your book is available from a major distributor, let us know when you send it in. Also include any professional reviews you do have, or reviews from blogs.

Know that we can't consider your book without a physical copy of the entire book. (So: a PDF won't cut it.) It's important for us to know exactly what we would be handing to a patron if we recommended your book, from typeface to binding. When you submit a title, we can't send you a response; we don't guarantee that we will include the book in our collection; and we won't return your review copy. However, we WILL look at it, and we will consider it.

Self-published books must meet the criteria in our Collection Development Policy, just like books from mainstream publishers. Naturally, we consider quality of writing and art when we decide whether to add a book to our collection. We also consider whether the book will be appealing to children, whether it will be useful to teachers, whether families are likely to pick it up, whether the author is local and has a fan base, and other factors. OPL is committed to diversity in children's books, so we take special notice when a book's creator is a person of color, it contains characters who are people of color, and those characters are represented with authenticity (aka 'realness').

In short: while I can't promise you we'll add your self-published children's book to our collection, you CAN ask us to. And we encourage you to do so. If you want to get your book into its best possible shape before you print it up, why not connect with a local writer's group, or a self-publishing meetup? Making books is a tough process, but even if you are doing it all yourself, there's no need to go it alone.

Q: My child is too shy to ask questions. I want him to be confident, and to ask for what he needs. How do I get him to ask you questions himself?

A: Yes, it's our job – parents, caregivers, and librarians, working together – to model the interactions that we'd like young people to conduct independently someday. Your child is learning a million tiny things by simply observing you as you conduct yourself daily. With very little conscious effort, he's learning by watching what you do.

When you bring a young person to the library, show him (you may not need to tell him) how you wait your turn, make a friendly greeting, ask a question, clarify if we're on the right track or not, and thank the staff person for the help you received.

Once your child has observed this several times, pick an unhurried day and ask him if he's ready to try it on his own. Some kids are bold and need very little prompting. Others want to know it will go smoothly before they even try. Many kids start, and then get stuck and need a little help. Eventually, we learn to speak up on our own behalf.

The interaction below is NOT ideal! Sometimes the librarian has a line of people waiting. However, I'm sharing it because it illustrates something not everyone realizes: The librarian is friendly. She or he is going to do whatever she or he can to get what information or reading material you need or want.

You can play “library” at home or in the car, and pretend/practice the question-and-answer process. Then come by and give it a try. We love talking to kids about what they're reading and helping them find information.

One afternoon at the library:

A mother and her son enter the library, and walk toward the Children's Reference Desk. They wait for the person ahead of them in line to finish, and then approach the Children's Librarian.

MOM (to Librarian): Hello! We'd like a little help.

MOM (to child): Tell the librarian what you need.

KID: No, you tell her.

MOM: No, go on. You tell her!

KID: No, no, no. I won't. You have to.

MOM: Go ahead and ask your question. Look, it's your turn now.

KID: You ask her!

Librarian: Okay, okay, I'll ask you!

(Kid is surprised & looks directly at Librarian for the first time)

Librarian: Okay, let's see...You have a question, right?

KID: (quietly) Yes.

Librarian: Let me see...Do you need something at the library?

KID: Yes.

Librarian: Okay, I'm going to guess. Is it a book?

KID: Yes!

Librarian: Okay, a book. That's good. We have lots of books. Hmm...Is this a book for your own fun, or is this for a school assignment?

KID: For school.

Librarian: Okay, for school. ...and what grade are you in?

KID: First.

Librarian: Okay, a book for a school assignment for first grade. That narrows it down....but I need more information. Are you going to tell me, or should I guess?

KID: You guess!

Librarian: Okay (rubbing my face, thinking...) ...Does this assignment have to do with the Phases of the Moon?

KID: No!

MOM: Just tell her, don't make her guess!

KID: (looking at her like she is crazy, because obviously this could be fun)

Librarian: ...Is the assignment about an Animal?

KID: No!

Librarian: Ummm...Is the assignment about...The Revolutionary War?

KID: No!

Librarian: I could really use a clue here...Do you want to tell me what you need a book about?

KID: Keep guessing!

MOM: ...but it does have something to do with history...!

Librarian: Oh, good, I needed a clue! So, it's about history...Is the assignment about World history, or United States history?

KID: The United States!

Librarian: Great! We are really narrowing it down...Are you looking for a book about the history of a person or a place or a time period?

KID: It's a report about a place.

Librarian: All right, now we're cooking! I wonder if it is about a state?

KID: Yes, it is about a state!

Librarian: All right...is it California, by any chance?

KID: No, that's my friend's state!

Librarian: Oh, no! You are not going to make me guess every single state are you?

KID: (gleefully) Yes!!!

Librarian: ...Wait a minute, I think we are close enough already...(getting up from desk, walking past them)...Follow me! We're going to figure this out!

KID: (looks up at his mom with wide open eyes)

MOM: Let's follow her!

Librarian: Right over here...these shelves right here have all the books on the United States, one state at a time. Starting with the north-east, going to the south-east, then the mid-west, then the south, then the west...Hmmmm...Which state could it be?

MOM: I see it!!!

KID: Where?!?!

MOM: (Mom craftily plays both sides of the game...the knowing and the not-knowing side...) What letter does it start with?

KID: It starts with a "V".

...He's looking...The adults are waiting...It doesn't take long...

KID: Here it is! I found it!

Librarian: Aha, it was Virginia! And it looks like we have more than one book. I'm so glad you found something. Go ahead and take them all off the shelf, and open them up. We have books for different reading levels, so you'll want to pick the one that is just right for you.

I'm sure he and I will have another opportunity to practice the Q&A process. People who know how to ask librarians for help get a lot more out of their tax dollars. It's National Library Week. Practice asking your librarian a question today!

Q: My daughter wants even more books about princesses wearing beautiful, sparkly dresses. I would like her to read books about confident girls whose sense of self is built on their capabilities, dreams, and interests. Do you have any like that – or any in which the princess doesn’t marry the prince?

A: Yes, there are princess stories that feminists can embrace! The trick is to find the ones that will please your daughter as much as they will feed your long-term character goals for her. I would point you to the article by Naomi Wolf in the New York Times on December 2, 2011:

She wrote, "If you look closely, the princess archetype is not about passivity and decorativeness: It is about power and the recognition of the true self...”

The view from the Children's Reference Desk is that every child is the center of their parents' universe. Every child is like a prince or princess, and each of them is discovering their own power, potential, and relevance. No matter the gender or economic class; princess means person who can do anything, with grace and ease.

You can use these princess books to tackle the tricky conflict between your values and the valid desires of your children. Here's how to do that:

Discuss the stories and the illustrations. Being opinionated, even disagreeing with the author or illustrator models good reading habits. Children are amazingly able to believe in a dream world, even when they are told it's not real. Ask questions, like; Would you rather be the kind of princess who has adventures, fights battles, befriends dragons, or has tea parties? See Pirate Princess, by Bardhan-Quallen, Princess Knight by Funke, and The Princess and the Peaby Vaes for girls who embrace traits and activities traditionally associated with masculinity.

Edit the text if you find it offensive. You won't get to do this for very long – she's going to learn how to read soon! Take advantage of this window of opportunity to make cultural adjustments and updates to anything you feel is important. (Writing this post, I discovered that my 15-year-old daughter believed that one of the sisters in Jane Ray's version of the Twelve Dancing Princesses was the shoemaker pictured on the final page, because I thought they should take responsibility for mending all their dancing shoes, so I changed the story. I remember that she and her sister argued with me about this point at the time, but I didn't realize until now that I had won.)

Tell your own story. Make sure to supplement the fantasy stories in fairy tales with the real-life stories of your family's struggles and those of your personal heroes. Try one book from the biography section.

Children ages two to seven repeat actions to master tasks – stacking blocks, tying shoelaces, etc. Repeated reading, or remaining focused on a single topic, is similarly how they build understanding.

Your daughter may revise her sense of self many times, or settle on it early. She is exploring, and you are one of her most important guides. Your support of and attention to her interests is crucial. Right now, it's princesses. It will shift over the years, and will be influenced by all the other people in her life, and the activities you share. She probably won't be sparkly forever.

By the way, all of my suggestions would remain the same if the gender pronoun were changed. Your son is not the only one with a favorite princess & a collection of sparkly dresses.

Q: I love to read, my older son loves to read, but my daughter hates it. How can I get her as excited about reading as the rest of us are? I’d be happy if she read anything, but she’d rather do anything else than read. I bring home stacks of books, and she rejects them all. When she’s tested, she can read, but she won’t do it. She’ll start a book, and abandon it. Help!

A: It may be time for a reading intervention if your child consistently answers “What do you want to read?” with; “I don't.” Emergency measures are needed!

It sounds like you did just the right thing with one child, but it's not working with this one. I'm going to suggest that you put aside your expectations about your family's reading characteristics and take some time to observe this child as if you hadn't really done that before. It might help to think of yourself as a personal assistant rather than a parent, teacher, or friend when it comes to reading.

Here's a step-by-step guide to try:

Observe or ask your child, and then tell the Children's Librarian what most inspires her outside the world of books. Maybe she loves movies, animals, baseball, drawing, cooking, chess, silly humor, snowflakes . . . whatever it is, we will look for books related to what really inspires her,;what really grabs her attention.

Take home a variety of books – short or long; illustrations or photos; fiction or non-fiction; comic books or magazines; biographies or fantasies; jokes, magic tricks, cooking, knights, dragons, spies, warriors, talking owls; a sample of stuff that includes anything that catches the eye. (NOTE: If your child gets overwhelmed by choices, take 3, not 12.

Do not worry about the level. Assume that you are going to read it aloud to her. By doing this, we open up the possibilities – and we're more likely to find something she really wants to hear about. Choose books with attractive covers or any super-appealing characteristics.

When you get home, lay out all the choices in front of her – on the floor or the bed or couch. Don't use her homework area. Ask her to choose based on the cover illustration, or read the front flap or the first page to see if it grabs her attention. Ask her to pick which one to try.

If she’s still resisting, arrange a relaxed, quiet time. On the couch, in a hammock, or the backseat of the car, invite her to close her eyes as you read aloud. Let the author weave his magic threads...and remember to see the last blog post on reading aloud. There was some stuff about fidgety children listening...

Remember you can ask the Children’s Librarian to help you find both the printed book and an audiobook. Don’t get fixated on your child reading along with the recording; the focus here is on getting her engaged in a story. However, it may help to have the book to consult – to see the illustrations, or a map to the fantasy world, for example. That is enough!

Audiobooks are also great if she has time on her own without you, or if you don't read aloud well in English, or if you commute together and can both listen as you drive – or if your child gets hooked on a series you dislike; she can use headphones. We give out audiobooks frequently to working parents, commuters, immigrants learning to pronounce English better, reluctant readers, and of course kids with vision impairments, as well as garden-variety avid readers.

Before you leave: Send us your questions! Post below, send a message through Facebook, or stop by the library.

The skills needed to learn how to read and write are connected in children's brains. In order to ready your child for reading, try some of these easy and fun writing activities:

FOR BABIES: Of course your baby is not ready to read or write just yet, but learning to recognize shapes is the first step towards acquiring those skills. So point out different shapes you see and describe them to your child. Find things that are round, such as balls, and let your child explore them. Boxes are all around you; let your child play with a cardboard box and talk about squares and rectangles. Playing with simple shape and color puzzles will also help develop these skills.

FOR TODDLERS: Keep playing with shapes but also have fun introducing alphabet letters. Toddlers love hearing their names, Expand the sound of your toddler's name by writing it on all sorts of surfaces, on paper, with blocks or magnetic letters, on chalkboards or even with water. Identify each of the letters in their name.

Print is everywhere. Help your child notice alphabet letters by pointing out the names on food containers, words on road signs and names of stores. Point out letters to your toddler as you go through your day.

Let your toddler try writing! Scribbles are a great way of strengthening their fine motor skills. Fat crayons are great at helping them grip crayons without their breaking.

FOR PRESCHOOLERS: Play "I Spy" to find letters in the room. Silently choose something that your child can see. Say, "I spy with my little eye something that starts with the letter (name a letter) What is it?"

Play games like "We are going to a place to eat whose name begins with the letter "B." Where do you think we are going?"

Sing the alphabet song while pointing to the letters of the alphabet.

Writing can be done anywhere: in the sand or dirt, on a chalkboard, in a pan filled with rice or flour, with a piece of yarn, with blocks, and even in the tub. Make writing letters a game you play every day.

Q: I'm ready for him to move on! My son has been reading Garfield books forever! (or Junie B. Jones, Captain Underpants, Rainbow Magic, Geronimo Stilton, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, or endless hours of comics.) Isn't it time for him to read harder books?

A: Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. While those books may seem as worthless as old bathwater; repetitive, stale, and stagnant to you, in fact re-reading or reading formulaic writing builds fluency and increases comprehension – but the baby in this metaphor is your son's fledging motivation. In your efforts to dump those stale books, make sure you're not dumping something much more valuable and significant: his sense of autonomy, confidence, and inspiration.

How can all those positive feelings come from reading formulaic writing? Well, let me ask you: Was your son eager to get another book in the series? Did he focus on it to the exclusion of other activities? Was he so enthralled by it, he recounted the whole story to you? Did he beam at you with the next volume in his hand? Well – You can't separate his enthusiasm, focus, and spontaneous memorization from the qualities of the particular books he chooses. However, you seem to have an avid reader on your hands, so your work here may be done! He is building neural pathways that connect the activity of reading with feelings of joy. Brain research confirms that Aristotle was right when he wrote “We are what we repeatedly do.” Adult avid readers confirm that they built their own habit of reading with practically any content – pulp fiction, comics, magazines, or whatever else might have motivated them when they were young. (See this study for the science behind building positive habits.)

So, do not get all control-freakish at this point. How you handle your frustration with his reading choices matters. Don't battle over this. If his reading choice seems too easy, too obnoxious, poorly written, or a challenge to your values, try to not judge. If you object to the content, discuss it with your child and add your own perspective and understanding. In fact, this is an excellent way to make sure he knows your values!

It won't hurt to promote the reading choices you prefer – the books you consider more quality literature, the challenging ones, the ones you learned so much from when you were his age. However, my observation and experience is that your influence is strongest when it is respectful and without shame. Shame kills motivation.

You can also wave your arms around and tell him why your favorite book is truly fantastic! That's wonderful and funny. But you must respect his process. Don't push too much.

Your child’s feelings of confidence and autonomy are more important than your pride in his accomplishments. Be patient, and you are likely to get both. Do not let your judgment (or society’s) squash his enthusiasm and kill his reading habit before he gets to what you think is the good stuff.

Q: You say it's okay to read aloud to my daughter even though she's 9 years old and she thinks everyone in her class is ahead of her, BUT I'm still worried that it's becoming a crutch for her to avoid learning to read on her own. Are you sure I'm not sabotaging her work or impeding her progress by continuing to read aloud to her?

A: Yes, I'm sure. From my experience – talking to kids, parents, and teachers for the past 18 years, and reading studies on literacy, the only potential down-side of reading aloud to your daughter is that she may do worse on spelling tests. The up-sides, on the other hand, are many:

She can do other things while listening. Sometimes the issue with late-blooming readers is they don't want to or can't sit still long enough, or hold their eyes steady long enough to get from the top of the page to the bottom. Let her do a puzzle, play with string, squeeze a rubber ball, fold laundry, brush the dog's hair. She will develop stillness in her own time.

She'll understand more of what's happening in the book, especially if you read in your most dramatic voice, emphasizing the emotional content and the action. Your voice amplifies the meaning behind the words. She is more likely to become absorbed in the story.

When there's a vocabulary word she doesn't know, or the story brings up complicated issues, she can ask you any questions she has instantly. (Of course this applies to all genders. If you have a reticent child of any gender, feel free to start the dialogue. It's okay once in a while to ask, “Do you know what this means?”...but don't ask too often – it can be insulting. Asking “What do you think?” or “What would you do?” Can be alternated with sharing your own thoughts and experiences, so it won’t feel like a pop-quiz.)

She could develop a habit of talking to you about complex issues or things she doesn't understand, knowing you will discuss things without judgment. Wouldn’t it be great if she continues this habit into her teenage and adult years? The part about being non-judgmental matters; all questions are good ones.

As a result of hearing books read aloud to her, she’ll be better able to participate in classroom discussions. Her enthusiasm (without the trauma of forced reading) may inspire her to speak up, and she’ll be better prepared after the thoughtful discussion you've started together. She’ll become a part of the reading community.

Okay, but…“What if my daughter’s teacher insists that she reads on her own? What if she still worries she may be teased about not managing by herself?” Try this: Pick out any book she wants to read, read a chapter together at home, and when she takes it to school she will re-read it on her own. Reading aloud to her in a calm, relaxed environment will help her build a rich and varied vocabulary, and keep pace with her friend's reading.

NOTE: At any age, the effort to call up memories of stories is a great way to improve reading skills. Even if your daughter is accused of “memorizing” chunks of text to impress her teacher or classmates, appreciate her desire to participate in class! Not everyone can pull this off – give her a high-five if she can recite pieces of the story from memory.

Don't try this at home! - Just kidding; the whole point is to try this at home. There is no danger in reading aloud to a fellow human being, of any age. Many other things can hurt them; not this.

Regardless of where and when you grew up, rhymes are a part of childhood. In the United States, Mother Goose rhymes are the most common but all rhymes are great fun to read with your very young child. Not only are they silly, but they have a definite beat. That rhythm is an important way to show your child how to hear individual sounds in words. Hearing the sounds in rhymes will help your child hear the sounds in words when reading them. You can increase the fun time together and the impact of the rhythm by bouncing or moving along with the rhymes. Where can you find them? Why, the library, of course! Oakland libraries have rhymes from all around the world; some locations even have separate nursery rhyme sections. Come in and check them out!

Q: My son is 8 years old and he hates reading. It's like torture to get him to sit still for the 20 minutes each day his teacher requires. I'm at my wit's end. I'm worried about him, and I know he's feeling stressed about it, too. What can I do?

A: It's not time to panic. I've met plenty of kids who say they don't like to read, and who avoid reading at all costs, and yet they grow up to be readers. Parents don’t always know that each person starts reading in their own good time. Statistically, this often happens sometime around or before 3rd grade, but it's not universally true that by 3rd grade everyone reads on their own. Plenty of bright children become readers later than anyone expected.

The single best predictor of whether or not a child will learn to read, read capably and with ease, and read for pleasure for the rest of his or her life is whether or not he or she enjoys reading.

“Yes, but how do I make this happen?” you ask? The two best ways you can help your child enjoy reading are:

Read aloud to him

Let him choose his own reading material

If we enjoy something, we put more energy into it, we are patient with ourselves about it, and we keep trying even if we don't succeed immediately. You are the ideal person for this job; to give your child the joy of reading. Share your enthusiasm with your son. Allow him to choose what he wants to read, and then read it to him – up until the moment when he says he wants to read it on his own.

As you visit the library and read aloud to him, try for a light-hearted, breezy, low-stress attitude. If your son continues to express dismay, frustration, disappointment in himself, or fear about his abilities, I would suggest that you acknowledge his feelings, and then tell him that eventually it will “click” for him. In the meantime, enjoy your time together.

Don't fear that you must read aloud to him for the rest of his life. This phase can last just long enough so he gets the strong message that reading is fun, it's important enough to you to really spend time on it, and you are enjoying this parent-child activity as much as he is. At some point, his ability to sit still, focus on the page long enough, recognize a sufficient number of words by sight, and bring various decoding skills into play without strain will all reach critical mass, and he'll embrace reading on his own. It will happen eventually.

Note: If your child is struggling with other issues like nearsightedness, dyslexia, or another condition that might need some attention, know that the signs of those kinds of constraints could be subtle, and not very different from what is perfectly, developmentally normal in all children. It doesn't change the advice here, but there may be other work involved to get him from where he is today to being an enthusiastic reader. If you observe or suspect something like this, talk to your child’s teacher or pediatrician.

“Wait!” you say? “I need a book, not advice.” Okay, I get it! When you go to the library, talk to the children's librarian. Mention that you want to find a good book to read aloud to your son, age 8, and to make sure it's a really captivating, exciting, wonderful story. So many people ask this question, that we will know how to take it from there. Try us.

With the holidays upon us, pressure is on to buy expensive toys. However, for babies and toddlers, play = the chance to smell, taste, hear, touch and see different things. That is how babies and toddlers explore their new, exciting world. Here are some tips for simple and almost free things you can make for your toddler this holiday season (with thanks to Rachel Payne at Brooklyn Public Library):

Cover a table with a sheet of contact paper sticky side up. It teaches your child the meaning of sticky.

Make a set of blocks out of cardboard boxes you already have at home. Think about those empty cereal boxes and spaghetti boxes you plan to throw out or recycle and repurpose them.

Stuff a scarf into a paper towel tube and what do you have, an instant game of peek-a-boo.

Tape some bubble wrap to the floor and let your child walk on it.

Have a paper shredder? Let your child play with the shredded paper put into a box.

Large cardboard boxes are everywhere this time of year. Let your child crawl around, in, and under one. To make it extra fun, precut some holes in it for instant peek-a-boo fun.

Tape some aluminum foil to the floor or floor mat and let your child look at things from a new angle.

And don't forget, your participation is the most important ingredient. If you have fun, your child will too.