Wednesday, March 11, 2009

The Unsupervised Child

Are you freakin' nuts? How can you possibly send your five-year-old child out into the wilderness with only a backpack - that shows bulimic tendencies - and a monkey? And seriously, has the monkey had all his shots? (Might want to check into that, as attached as he is to your daughter...) Don't you know it's dangerous out there? Forget about pedophiles and on-coming traffic! Your neighborhood has trolls, weird wizards, goo-spouting geysers, and not-so-nice witches. Not to mention the kleptomanic fox that keeps showing up. You should look into setting her up with a tazer gun or at least some decent pepper spray.

And while you're at it, you might want to get her hearing tested. Maybe you don't notice but that kid shouts everything. I'm not sure her eyes are that great, either. I mean, she can't even tell where all the pieces of the ladder are when they're laying right there in front of her! And if she really knows all the answers about what to do and where to go, then why does she keep asking my kids for help? Hey, my kids can't even dress themselves without something on backwards and she expects them to find a way past spiders, snakes, and crazed turkeys. That's not exactly careful planning, now is it? I suggest replacing the ridiculously vague dancing map with a state-of-the-art GPS navigation system. Then she'll have a calm voice to guide her around all the obstacles, along with a handy estimation of her arrival time. I tell ya, those things are genius!

Sincerely,A soggy-brained parent whose IQ might have been higher before watching this show

P.S.You might want to discourage her friendship with that squirrel fellow. I'm not saying he's doing anything illegal but he always seems to show up with some fancy new ride just when she's looking for one...you know what I'm saying?

I'm so glad you called her parents out on this one. She's a terrible example to my kids. Suddenly they think I should let them wander around with a strange backpack and wild animals, too. Kids these days, I tell ya.

I like to think of the jungle as manifestation of a child's imagination and the monkey as a personification of parental support.

Um. Ok, my entire Dora experience is limited to wanting to stuff my ears with cotton while my roommate in the next room babysat her toddler-niece for the evening. The only benefit is that my Spanish vocabulary was increased to 15 words with the oh-so-useful word, "penguino."

I figure I better comment one of these times since I have been sneaking a peak for a few months now.This one had me rolling. I have heard that they are thinking of having her "Grow Up". Crazy...a pre-teen with mood swings out in the wilderness on her own. Now that may be a show I can relate to.

I just spewed my drink! Freaking cracked me up! Dora and that yelling, how annoying!

I mentioned you on my blog today :) Go see what you bought with your blog birthday target card - you gave a gift to a baby who doesn't have much cuz her mommy and daddy are just starting out and learning as they go. This baby's mommy just turned 18 and her mother just passed away. She squealed with joy over your blog's generosity and the gift. See what ya did?! Thanks!

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