And that’s everything you need to know about NXT. (Now we know!) (And knowing is half the battle) (G.I. Joe!)

-Before we start, here is my weekly plug to check out both my Epic Tweets in Wrestling History over at WrestleCrap.com, as well as my horrible movie blog as my friend Lauren and I spent the entire month of March reviewing total crap at BadMovieMonth.tumblr.com

Brie and Nikki Bella remind me that the live second screen experience starts….now. I can only imagine what factoids I would find out there.

1.) Aiden English used nefarious means to pin Colin Cassidy

Big Cass kicks things off this week. It’s good to hear that Enzo Amore is back in training from his injury, we have missed him. Renee Young joins the broadcast booth for this match. There mustn’t be a diva’s match.

These two men have wrestled twice before, with Aiden coming out on top both times. As a matter of fact I don’t think Colin has ever won a singles match.

Aiden gets thrown around the ring for the first three minutes of the match, but he finally realizes what he needs to do, so he kicks Colin’s leg out of his….leg to get the heat.

Aiden got out of the Catatonic, Colin got out of the Director’s Cut and Aiden rolled up Colin for the win with a handful of tights.

-Devin Taylor interviews Tyler Breeze, who is just here because this episode needs someone gorgeous. Literally that was it and it was the best promo in weeks.

-A video of Paige becoming a double champion aired, along with an in-depth interview with her. You know it’s good that they aired this on NXT and not Raw or something like that.

This leads to a pre-taped promo where Tom Phillips asked Paige about being champion. I was thrown off by Paige wearing real clothes. Paige plans to kick Sasha Banks’ and Charlotte’s ass.

2.) Camacho pinned Oliver Grey

Last week Camacho issued a challenge to Adam Rose, so here we go with a match against Oliver Grey. Well he interrupted a promo by Oliver, but if you didn’t remember that the announcers didn’t bother reminding you of this.

Renee Young is still at the table, so we have an actual four person booth for the entire show. It’s amazing how this is much more tolerable than any WWE announce team with 2-3 people.

This is Oliver’s first match in 14 months, as he injured his knee right after him and Adrian Neville won the NXT Tag Team Championship. This was blamed on the Wyatt’s, who will never be brought up again.

Anyhoo, Camacho wins a quickie with a Samoan Drop.

-Devin is backstage with our un-Bo-lievable former NXT Champion, Bo Dallas, who said that the reason why no one got in the ring during Occupy NXT was because none of his Bo-lievers would ever break the law. This isn’t the end of the Bo Movement.

Blade Braxton should bring back Jobber of the Week on WrestleCrap and just induct Ascension opponents. They have been champions for almost 200 days because there are no other teams on NXT. Wesley Blake and Cal Bishop are pre-used jobbers.

This match was the usual squash match. One of these years these two really need to do more.

-Devin is with the BFF’s, who asked Sasha about losing the last two weeks. Charlotte made sure to tell her off and pointed out that next week they will have a tag team match against Emma and a partner of her choice. Sasha needs to punch her in the head.

4.) The Great Khali pinned CJ Parker

CJ Parker is out to go one on one with the greatest World Champion during July-September of 2007. Before CJ went one on one with the Great one, he cut a promo about how the world would be better without the NXT Universe. This is a lot to blame on the 400 people at Full Sail.

Great Khali celebrated EIGHT YEARS and counting on the WWE roster by coming out and wrestling on NXT.

Khali is so slow. The arena at Full Sail is very small and it took Khali almost a full minute to walk to the ring. The story of this match is Khali is very big and he does very big moves, like a Big Chop to the head and a Big Chop to the chest.

CJ got the heat with a kick to the knee, which is amazing strategy against the big guy. The fans chanted “global warming” as CJ ran into Khali’s boot. Khali finished off the moon child with the Punjabi Plunge.

-A roving camera person asked Emma if she found a partner after three minutes. She said no.

-Sami Zayn cut a promo saying he could have stayed in there two weeks ago when the referee stopped the match. Next week it is him and the Uso’s vs Corey Graves and Ascension. Perhaps he should stop wrestling since he keeps getting concussed.

5.) Jason Jordan & Ty Dillinger defeated Sawyer Fulton & Baron Corbin

NEW TAG TEAM ALERT! Jason Jordan and Ty Dillinger have been jobbers to the midcarders before and now get a push. Sawyer Fulton and Baron Corbin are here, live and in public, if you will, to do a job.

The Baron doesn’t know what it means to be in a tag team as he got the heat on Ty and just kept beating on him and beating on him until we saw Sawyer’s arm reaching halfway across the ring. He may have been sending up flares to alert Baron.

Jordan gets the hot tag and makes an excellent comeback and the babyfaces win with MNM’s Snapshot. I want to note that Baron, who was in the ring for all the offense, went into hiding when it was time to sell.

6.) NXT Champion Adrian Neville beat Brodus Clay by count out.

Six matches on NXT this week. There have been three hour pay per views with 5 matches and hell, the Canadian Stampede show had four matches in two hours. This is a non-title match. I assume Brodus hasn’t earned a title match by not wrestling on tv every week.

Brodus heaved Adrian all around the ring and debuted the Heart Punch. He is no Stan Stasiak or 1996 Crush, as Adrian kicked out at 2. Brodus sat on Adrian, which Adrian powered out of, showing that no matter how fat you are, that is not a legit finisher.

Adrian laid out Brodus in the middle of the ring, but couldn’t pull Brodus into the corner, so Clay was nice enough to just roll over. Adrian rolled through on a 450 Splash because Clay kept rolling. Brodus beat him to the outside, but missed a dive off of the ring steps, letting Neville jump into the ring just in time to be declared the winner by count out.

Brodus became very angry, but not angry enough to continue to fight, so he left Adrian to celebrate as the show went off the air. That’s it for this week and until next week, please remember to say your vitamins and take your prayers!