Posts Tagged ‘lgbt’

A while back, I ran into a fellow parent at the grocery store. Her youngest and my oldest are in the same grade and had been in the same schools since kindergarten. We hadn’t seen each other in a while, now that our kids are in high school. I was pleased to see her again and we stopped to chat. Our kids weren’t ever especially close, but our elementary school community was a close-knit one and we had gotten to know each other reasonably well.

She asked about Jared and I told her how well he’s adjusting and about his joining the robotics team and so on. And then, I wanted to ask about her kid.

Shortly after the Orlando massacre, my family and I were headed for a local shopping mall and, as we often do, were discussing recent events on the way. We arrived and parked and proceeded to get out of our minivan in the parking lot near a chain department store. The area is not as upscale as some other parts of the Bay Area and the store is known more for lower prices than for its appeal to educated professionals. In short, while still relatively liberal (it was, after all, still the San Francisco Bay Area), it was an area where one might run into a homophobe.

Getting out of the car and walking through the parking lot, I continued talking loudly about the terrorist attack at the Pulse nightclub in Florida and its effect on the LGBTQ community. My oldest began trying to get me to quiet down and stop talking about it. He said that one day, I would end up getting shot if I kept talking that way. He was worried that some homophobic terrorist would take offense at what I was saying and respond with lethal force.

Ever since having kids, I’ve been a fan of Old Navy. They have good children’s clothes at affordable prices — a big help when you have three active kids who are continuously outgrowing and wearing out their clothes. But that’s not the only reason I shop at Old Navy, especially this time of year.

Recently, we were on holiday and found ourselves in need of some new pants (sans holes) for Ezra, my youngest, as well as a couple other small items. The only viable option we had available was Wal-Mart. Normally, I don’t shop at the retail giant because I have some serious issues with the way they run their business, but sometimes, evil becomes a necessary evil.

For most parents-to-be, once they find out they’re going to have a child, the biggest concern is that the child is healthy. Sure, there may be a preference for one gender or the other, but there are so many other far more terrifying possibilities to worry about that no one in their right mind really gets upset about having a boy instead of a girl or vice versa.

But even if there are complications or issues, parents generally don’t say “Oh, my kid’s not perfect, so I’m going to toss him in the dumpster and start over”. And if they did, they would be prosecuted, jailed, and vilified. I know plenty of people who face challenges far more significant than trying to get their kids to eat broccoli — and it seems they love their kids even more for it. Challenges that include dyslexia, autism, and even DIPG, a rare form of childhood brain cancer with a 0% survival rate. Zero percent. And I’ve known two sets of parents whose children have lost or will lose their battle with the disease.

I would like to offer my sincere sympathies at this time. I am sure your daughters and the other girls involved in your recent scandal had no need or desire to have this brought up again and I know you must be feeling pain and shame as well.

Every parent must decide for themselves what they believe is the best way to raise their children. Considerations include public school versus private school versus homeschooling, attending church services versus eschewing religion, and, on an even more basic level, are kids better off as only children or do they do better with siblings.

LGBT? What’s wrong with it? It’s just a new type of community. It is the same thing as regular marriage, but just with two of the same gender. I don’t get it. As I said, what’s wrong with that?

It’s sad to think that people think of a couple as wrong just because they are of the same gender as each other. It’s just what we call love. It’s the same as saying it’s not right to get married if one person has darker skin than the other. If only people could understand that no matter what a couple looks like, just as long as they love each other it’s okay.

If you’re a parent, you’ve undoubtedly heard plenty of stories of kids coming out to their parents that they are gay or lesbian. Some of them have been amusing, others endearing, and some, unfortunately, have been heartbreaking. Parents have responded with humour, with understanding, and with fear and loathing. Some parents have gone so far as to disown their children and kick them out of the house. That won’t happen in my house, but I’ll tell you that there also won’t be any “coming out” either.

A few weeks ago, my daughter came home with a list of topics and an assignment to do some sort of project about something related to San Francisco history. She had been instructed to pick one that her parents knew about so she could get help with it. I scanned the list of possible subjects and spotted The Gay Rights Movement. That was a no-brainer. I grew up in San Francisco and remember the assassination of Harvey Milk as if it were yesterday. I spent a lot of time — for a straight kid with straight parents — in the Castro because it was close to where I had rehearsals and not too far from the Opera House. It was a neat place to hang out on the way home. So, it seemed obvious which topic would be best. After all, what do I know about cable cars?

In 2004, newly elected mayor of San Francisco Gavin Newsom threw away his political future when he directed the county clerk to begin issuing marriage licenses to all couples, regardless of their genders. This kicked the fight for marriage equality into high gear and here we are, almost ten years later, and we are well on our way to universal marriage equality in this country. And that’s not acceptable. Or, rather, it’s not enough.

I grew up in San Francisco, California and was definitely raised a city boy. As a child, I could make my way around the Tenderloin at night as surely as Grizzly Adams navigated the Sierras. I grew up on food from around the world and could use chopsticks as deftly as a country boy could handle a whittlin’ knife. Buses and streetcars were my horses, alleys my hiking trails, skyscrapers my hills and mountains. Guns, even the aquatic variety, were verboten (hunting was something done at antique stores or garage sales) and I think the only reason my mother allowed me fishing gear was because there weren’t any fish anywhere near us to be caught, other than at the grocery store; neither one of us would have known what to do if I actually did catch one. In our family, “roughing it” meant going to “Opera in the Park”.