Pages

Friday, 18 May 2012

In 2006, the bisexual poet and musician Hinemoana Baker
and I were profiled by Maori Television in Takataapui, discussing
discrimination and prejudice against bisexual people within the queer
community. Amongst other things, we were asked to respond to these:

Sadly
this Takataapui episode isn't available online. Which does save
Hinemoana and I from the real possibility of being bullied on the
grounds of a series of poor hair choices over the years. TVNZ's
slightly earlier "State of the Queer Nation"
- which is online - wasn't actually about the queer nation. No (out)
bisexual, transpeople or intersex people; no bi, trans or intersex
issues - or even people - mentioned.

Bi people have been organising against biphobia around the world since at least the 1980s. We need Pink Shirt Day
not just because we have same-sex attractions - we need to stop
bi-specific bullying and invisibilisation related to negative
stereotypes because it has negative impacts on bisexual people.

Bisexuality
is explicitly named as a grounds for discrimination in the Human Rights
Act, after a long and sometimes bitter fight by bi people leading up to
1993. Despite continued attempts to exclude us from the Act's
protections the Wellington Bisexual Women's Group rocked up at a
celebratory event in 1993, flushed with bi pride at our inclusion. When
the approved lesbian speaker outlined the Act's protections but
repeatedly left us out - not for the first time - our slightly tired
response was to heckle, shouting "and bisexual" as needed.

We
got up to speak collectively, ending with a waiata. Fortunately for
negative stereotypes of bisexual people, I was able to clasp Hinemoana's
hand tightly, so I could mouth our waiata and allow the audience to
enjoy her gorgeous voice without noticing mine.

This
Pink Shirt Day I'm going to share some link love for bi people, and
those interested in challenging biphobia and biphobic bullying. I'm not
including generic queer groups as too often those groups have a silent B
(and T, let alone I) when it comes to LGBTI issues and communities.
Feel free to add more links in comments.

The Wellington Bisexual Women's Group
continues, eating and talking our way to bitopia. Members have also
lobbied for queer rights legislation, contributed to queer rights
legislation and created resources to challenge discrimination. Most
recently this included suggesting significant changes - all of which
were accepted - to the Human Rights Commission chapter on the rights of sexual and gender minorities.

Secret Love
is a short NZ film featuring Hinemoana's music and story which opened
the queer film fest a few years back. And if you're wanting bi anthems,
her song "I'm Free" was written in response to someone in her family telling her being bisexual was just a phase. Other bi anthems here.

I'll
leave those interested with eight BBWN tips on how to be an ally to
bisexual people. Pink Shirt Day is a great day to start:

Believe that I exist.
Despite ongoing scientific research that seems so determined to
disprove the existence of bisexuality, plus the general lack of interest
by the greater gay and lesbian community to acknowledge us, we really
do exist.

When I tell you I’m bisexual, please don’t try to talk me into redefining my identity
into something more comfortable for you. Please don’t tell me that if I
haven’t been sexual with more than one sex in the last three, five, or
ten years that I am no longer bisexual.

Celebrate bisexual culture
along with me. We have a vibrant and rich cultural history within the
bi community — from Sappho to Walt Whitman to Virginia Woolf to James
Baldwin to June Jordan, we have many daring voices that have expressed
love beyond the monosexual confines.

Please don’t try to convince me that people who lived bisexual lives in the past would have been gay
if they had lived today. You don’t know that, I don’t know that, and
your insistence that it is true says that you believe that people were
bisexual only out of necessity, not by desire.

Validate my frustration with the gay and lesbian community when they ignore or exclude bisexuals.
Please don’t try and defend an action such as a keynote speaker who is
addressing a LGBT audience but consistently says “gay and lesbian” when
referring to all of us.

Ask me, if appropriate, about my other-sex relationships and my same-sex relationships.
Bisexuals live our lives in multiple ways. Some of us are monogamous
and we would like to discuss that relationship openly with the people in
our lives, no matter whom it is with. Some of us have more than one
relationship going on and we’d like to be able to share that with others
without feeling judgment.

If there is some sort of bisexual scandal in the news, don’t use it as an opportunity to make derisive remarks
about bisexuals generally. As we know all communities have examples of
“bad behavior,” and painting everyone with the same brush doesn’t create
much understanding between us.

When I’m not around, or any other bisexual, speak up when bisexual people are being defamed or excluded. It’s great when we can witness your support, but I’d love to know you are helping us even when we are not looking.

Oh Hugh, so many hateful judgments about bisexual people, so little time. A blog post is just not long enough sadly. Luckily I have no plans to stop writing or talking about this until we don't need to anymore :-)