Deals Of The Day - Wednesday 8th August

Take a look around at the hovel that you laughably call your home. It’s drabber than a witch’s bra drawer yet you somehow think that you’re ‘cool’ and ‘sophisticated’. And is that a framed picture of Winnie Mandela above your fireplace? Weird.

Here – get one of these. For only £3.99, you can jazz up and snazzify your living quarters with a ‘grooovy’ silver-finish lilac white wax lamp – reduced from £12.99. Did you see how we bunged another ‘o’ into ‘groovy’ just then? Exactly – that’s the kind of thing we’re dealing with here. Now throw on a Kula Shaker album, burn some patchouli oil and let’s WIG OUT!