The Sweetest Revenge Quotes: Victoria's Best Bitchery, Nolan's Sassiest Snark and More

With the biggest episode of ABC’s Revenge airing tonight at 10/9c — you know, a certain engagement party where someone sure is dead there on the beach — we thought it’d be a good time to reflect on Queen Victoria’s best bitchisms, Nolan’s choicest quips and every quote in between. (Having seen this week’s riveting hour, we can promise that you can definitely expect a few more signature one-liners, so stay tuned for that. And check TVLine after the show for a preview of the Fire & Ice Ball aftermath.)

Lydia | “Thanks for picking me up on the street corner like a prostitute.” (Episode 2, “Trust”)

Charlotte | [Re: her mother] “Mommyzilla.” (Episode 4, “Duplicity”)

Conrad |“I leave for two days and Daniel is off the wagon. How’d you let that happen?”
Victoria | “I had my hands full. Perhaps you can tell me where your hands have been?” (Episode 5, “Guilt”)

Victoria | “Understand something Lydia: Every time I smile at you across the room or we run into each other at a luncheon or I welcome you into my home? Let that smile be a reminder of just how much I despise you. And every time I hug you? The warmth you feel is my hatred burning through.” (Episode 5, “Guilt”)

Tyler | “Gay? Meh. Hustler? Maybe.” (Episode 7, “Charade”)

Nolan | [To Tyler] “Ah, ambiguous sexual identity — I get it. I’m about a three on the Kinsey scale.” (Episode 7, “Charade”)

Daniel | “Me working [at the bar] hasn’t really been working out, has it?”Jack | “You mean ‘cause you got drunk on your first shift or ‘cause I was hitting on your girlfriend?” (Episode 8, “Treachery”)

Nolan | “Baby steps….” [Puts his arm around her on beach]Emily | [Icily shrugging off the gesture] “Don’t do that.”

Emily | “I Googled friendship on the interwebs. Apparently when you have a fight with a friend you’re suppose to apologize.”Nolan | “Word of advice: Leave the joke-cracking to me. You suck at it.” (Episode 11, “Duress”)

Victoria | [Laying down the sartorial law with Ashley] “No more bandage dresses.” (Episode 12, “Infamy”)

Ashley | “All I’ve got to show for my summer with the Graysons is a gun-wielding, psychotic boyfriend who made out with you.” (Episode 13, “Commitment”)

Conrad | “You’re going to be back to [the name] Victoria Harper — which will only be fitting considering you’ll once again be the desperate, penniless little bitch you were when I first met you.” (Episode 13, “Commitment”)