It's tax day in America, so naturally companies everywhere are offering discounts and so much free crap you couldn't possibly find time to get it all. But if you want to join in and celebrate paying the government your hard-earned money with a massage and two tubs of cream cheese, DealNews has outlined everything your taxed heart may desire. Here are some highlights:

Get a free HydroMassage, likely at your local mall while strangers watch you get molested by a water tube.