[Verse 1]
I was walking round the house one morning
When I thought I heard a little noise
So I decided to investigate
‘cause I’m one of the boys
I saw a bit of fluff in the corner
So I gave it a little shove
Then two beady eyes turned to look at me
And I thought “Heavens above…… - It’s a mouse!”

[Chorus 1]
I better get up them stairs
I know it’s the place to be
Better get up them stairs
Don’t want no rodent hassling me

[verse 2]
Later I was out in the garden
Sleeping under a tree
When out came the Mommy Monster
With some food that’s not for me
So I sneaked right up behind her
And pretended I was Robin Cook
Then I trod on something slimy
But I was too chicken to look…. – “It’s a slug!”

[Chorus 2]
I better get up them stairs
I know it’s the place to be
Better get up them stairs
Don’t want no mollusc following me

[Middle]
That night I went out the back door
Just a coupla hours before dawn
There was a spooky owl sitting on the fence
And a fox on the lawn
Suddenly I felt a kick up the backside
And an arm around my neck
Then I realised I’d been dreaming
In the Mommy Monster’s bed
So I went back down to the sofa
And tried to make myself a little den
Then two beady eyes turned to look at me
And I screamed “Oh not again….. It’s that mouse!”

[Chorus 1]
I better get up them stairs
I know it’s the place to be
Better get up them stairs
Don’t want no rodent hassling me

[Chorus 3]
Oh, I better get up them stairs
Where I’ll be safe and sound
I better get up them stairs
Even though I’ll still get kicked around