Monday, June 24, 2013

Speech From Blake's Funeral

Another post of old thoughts to make sure I have everything in one place. This is my speech from Blake's funeral. After I was asked if I wanted to speak at the funeral and immediately said yes, these thoughts effortlessly poured out of me.

At first I thought I'd share about the millions of memories that had been flooding my brain non-stop since I found out he died. I thought it might be important to paint a picture of our love for everyone so people would know how truly wonderful our relationship was and how happy we were together. I stopped and realized this was not the purpose of speaking at his funeral. Especially after I found out none of his immediate family members were speaking, I felt an obligation to not only express what he meant/means to me, but how important all of his best friends and family members were to him too. He talked about them all of the time to me because they truly made him who he was. I figured if I was wrapping up the speeches at his funeral, I needed to make sure that was known.

Here it is:

It was always crazy to think that when we both started school at Brisas 18 yearsago the person I would end up falling in love with was sitting in a classroom right down the hallway. I had the privilege of growing up with many of the same people you did, but for some reason you and I never became friends until much later in life. I have so many memories of Timmy and Josh in Mrs. Grams 4th/5th grade class and those boys were two of your closest friends up until the day you passed away.

Growing up a grade behind you since elementary school, I always was envious of the people in your year. I think everyone else at Brisas, Aprende, and Corona saw how close you were and the incredible friendships that formed and endured all of these years. And you were at the center of it all.

When I came home for Thanksgiving, I remember going up to Ryan, Matt, Daryl, Chris, and you as you all greeted me with genuine hugs and we talked about old times. After driving you and Chris home that night, you got my phone number and sent me an awkward text message about how you were a wuss, I was beautiful, and you were glad we talked. When fate intervened and I had two extra Suns tickets later that weekend, I tried and failed to convince Chris to be our awkward 3rd wheel even though we both swore that wasn’t going to be the case. I guess I was just too afraid to admit I was trying to ask you out on a date.

After I went back to California, you decided you didn’t want to wait until I went home for winter break to see me again. You asked if I would come out the next weekend and take Friday off if you got me a plane ticket. I decided why not. I didn’t know what was happening between us, but I knew I liked it and it was making me very happy.

And you continued to make me very happy. We fell so deeply in love and started planning our future together. It breaks my heart that we never got to cross off most of the items on our joint bucket list, but I am going to carry you with me for the rest of my life and hopefully cross them off for the both of us.

In preparation for celebrating our anniversary together, I was in the process of completing a scrapbook for you. Thank God we’re both just a little bit vain and loved taking photos of ourselves, because I have so many great memories of us that we captured that I’ll always be able to look back on. Although I never got a chance to give you your present because I still had to finish the last couple pages, I wanted to make sure you got the card I wrote for you in the back:

“Blake,

When I first started making this scrapbook I was overwhelmed by how many adventures we’ve been on together. I know that being in a long distance relationship is difficult, but it has made us really cherish and make the most of the time we do get together. There was not a trip that went by without amazing pictures to document all of the fun things we were able to do. We truly are lucky.

I am so grateful for the past six months (excuse me, half year- since it sounds better ;) ) with you as my boyfriend. You have, without a doubt, made me happier than anyone else has ever been able to. I feel truly myself, and the best version of myself, whenever I’m around you. You make me laugh, challenge me to always look for the positives, and make me feel so safe and secure. I love you for how you make me feel, but also for who you are as a person. You are generous, sincere, and have the biggest heart out of anyone I know.

Thank you for everything you do for me and how special you always make me feel. I am so excited for the next six months and beyond with you. I can’t wait for all of the new adventures that are in store for us. I love you!

-Briana”

I just wanted to close by thanking everyone for making me feel so much a part of celebrating Blake’s life. Although I’ve grown up with most of you, your memories of Blake don’t include me. It’s just a testament to how wonderful your friendships were with Blake that you all have taken me in with open arms and made me feel so loved and supported. Blake loved you all more than anything and would’ve done anything for you. Even though he may have not seen you a lot towards the end, he was constantly talking about you and letting me know how important you all were to him. You were all his heroes and his relationships with you were his biggest source of pride.

To Blake’s family, my heart breaks for you. I know we didn’t get to spend nearly enough time together, but I truly love all of you. To his aunts and cousins, even though we never met it was always so good to see your support on Facebook practically anytime Blake or I posted a picture. You made us feel like celebrities. Juliana, I will forever remember the hour we spent laughing backand forth about Blake’s pen pal Fairy Dust. The picture you sent me after was such a highlight. I am eternally grateful for the lengths you went to to get my best friends to San Jose to be with me until I could come out here. Nana, Blake was always telling me about you and your late husband’s amazing relationship and how he wanted to travel the world just like you two did. Looking through all of your old albums together is such a beautiful memory that I will always cherish. Bill, your phone call after our dinner a week ago brought me to tears. Hearing you say all of those sweet things about me and how truly grateful you were that Blake found me made me happier than you’ll ever know. Stephanie, you have made me feel so loved and accepted from the moment I met you. Thank you for all of the phone calls we had these past few days and welcoming me into your home and your family.

I’m going to finish on a positive note because that was something Blake was always working with me on: stay positive, look on the bright side. I know in my heart the REAL Blake was my best friend, true love, and always had my back. We all love you Blake. We know you’re smiling down on all of us right now. Thank you for all of the laughter, memories, and unconditional love.