The Glee Project – suggested story arcs

It’s August. There is no one in NYC. It’s hot and I have no new artwork to post. So here’s some commentary onThe Glee Project; a TV show on the Oxygen Network that I got sucked into watching.

My friend “X” (he wants to retain his internet anonymity) got me to watch THE GLEE PROJECT which was essentially a “boot camp” for young (read 18, 19, maybe 20-year-old) singers/actors. The winner of the show would get a 7 episode role in the next season of Glee. Turns out they were so good they picked TWO winners: Samuel, an indie-rock kid with dreads and Damian, an 18 yr. old from Northern Ireland. (I admit, I had a crush on Damian.) The two runners-up Lindsay (miss goody two shoes I can do no wrong but beautiful and a good actress/singer) and Alex (flamboyantly gay with an AMAZING voice like Whitney Houston, a holier than thou bad attitude and performed a few times in drag). Hannah was the “fat girl” who everyone liked but didn’t end up in the final four and Matheus was a 4’9″ almost “little person” who had a lot of talent as well, but didn’t make it to the final four. Cameron was doing really well, but couldn’t deal with the fact that he may have to kiss a girl on the show (he had a girlfriend and was super-religious) and ended up dropping out, thereby saving Damian who went on to win.

X said: I admired Alex’s talent but can’t stand his personality. I also think that my “Gay-Bashed Pre-Op Trans Dies” (sounds like a NY Post headline) would provide a little of cautionary contrast to the exuberance of Blaine and Kurt to let the kids know that “it will get better but don’t let your guard down”.

Here are X‘s story arcs for some of the Glee Project alumni:

SAMUEL: Conflicted Christian rebel from the wrong side of the town (is there a “right” side in Lima, Ohio?) who was home-schooled (thus the rebellious nature) until his parents drowned during a church revival festival when the plexiglas broke under their feet as they were performing the “walk on water” skit. End of the 7-episode arc: overzealous performance when New Directions performed at Niagara Falls while singing the mash-up of “You Raise me Up” and “I Believe I Can Fly” .

DAMIAN: Foreign exchange student from Ireland who initially fell under the spell of the bad girl, Santana (a gender-reversal episode of “GREASE”) but ended up with Mercedes due to their mutual love of tater tots. End of the 7-episode arc: Deportation after being accused of killing Mercedes’ pre-op trans brother, Alex’us, in a wedding night drunken stupor upon realizing that Alex’us is fully equipped with a stick-shift and fuzzy dice rearview mirror ornaments, but not before Alex’us sings another amazing rendition of “AND I AM TELLING YOU I’M NOT GOING”.

ALEX: Mercedes’ reclusive pre-op trans brother who stole Damian away from his sister because Damian’s Catholic upbringing insisted on him marrying a virgin. End of the 2-episode arc: see above.

LINDSAY: Transfer student from NYC after her mother (played by Brooke Shields) won a gigantic divorce settlement and moved back home to be the big fish in a small pond. Lindsay has a HUGE fight with ALL the girls (not just Rachel) when she ambushed EVERY boy in the school with kisses. End of the 2-episode arc: transferred to $t. Clare of A$$i$i where all the central-Ohio rich bratty girls go and where the school Alma Mater is “Gimme Gimme”. May return at the season finale during the regional championship if negotiations with Lea Michelle to star in a spin-off in NYC falls through.

HANNAH & MATHEUS: The circus came to town… (solo numbers: Hannah – “Don’t Cry Out Loud”; Matheus – “Sexy Back (Stripper Remix)”). End of the 1-episode arc: The circus left town ….

CAMERON: Shy guitar nerd who was secretly in love with Damian (cue in “Saving All My Love For You”). End of the 1-episode arc: stuck his wet finger in the outlet while singing a “I Kissed A Girl (and I hated it)”.

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12 comments

$t. Clare of A$$i$i !
Very cute… and probably more entertaining than the actual show, which I saw three minutes of one episode once because everyone insisted I tune in and worship the gay kid, but he ended up just annoying me … and that did NOT go over very well with my people. So I find it safer to just avoid TV altogether. Though i DO miss Ugly Betty.
X and Carol… when are you coming to Florida to entertain me ?!?!

Hi Leslie,
It was more fun to be catty about the show than watching the actual show, but I must say all of those kids were amazingly talented. I’m sure you had better things to do anyway. If I didn’t waste so much time on pop culture I might actually do more painting.

Thanks for the post and the funny story arcs. But I wonder…how come you didn’t tell me about another opportunity to tune in with you ? We had such fun last winter!!!
Hope your rattle and rolling did not send you into apoplexy yesterday. Gotta tell you, those were 30 seconds way too long in Richmond.

sorry about that Cathyann, I came to the Glee Project late and was able to catch up via reruns. And we DID have fun last winter, didn’t we.

Yes, we felt the earthquake here. And because most of the people I work with are mostly from the east and because our building shook on 9/11, we all ran outside thinking it was another terrorist attack.

Now we are preparing for Hurricane Irene. This has been a rough week and getting rougher. Hope you didn’t suffer any damage from the quake or the ‘cane.

I do feel you about no painting to post. I now have about 30 hours work on a 1″ x 1″ head that is part of a 22″ x 20″ amateurpiece. I can’t get it right and I’m obsessed. I keep telling myself to move on with the painting. Then I spend another 4 hours on that (ok it is not really 1″ x 1″ … it is smaller) &&%## head. Yesterday i had it almost perfect. Did I stop; nope. Kept on dabbing until I lost it totally and had to wipe down. I need some type of therapeutic help or maybe a severe beating.