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Prince William and Kate Middleton will be departing on Saturday night for their royal tour of India and Bhutan and will arrive on Sunday Morning, a little before 11am.

There was a handy little guide on Twitter with the time differences broken down:

This will be Kate’s fourth official royal tour since joining the Firm five years ago. Kate’s first foreign solo tour to Malta was canceled in September 2014 because of Kate’s special brand of Hyperemesis Gravidarum and the brief December 2014 trip to New York City wasn’t considered an official tour. To date, Kate has yet to officially represent the UK on tour without having a major wardrobe malfunction.

This post will be dedicated to Kate’s biggest international flashing incidents. For all who do not want to see Kate exposed, please abandon blog. Even if you think you can get through this without hearing the lambs scream, you might want to get a set of pearls to clutch just in case.

Kate’s long history of premarital flashing has been well-established. At Marlborough, Kate was known as Kate Middlebum for pulling down her pants to moon boys in a bid to become more popular. During the Waitying Years, she continued to hone her exhibitionist streak to the point it was common knowledge that she did not wax or shave her bikini area.

Since marriage, Kate has been protected as a member of the royal family by the UK press. Some of Kate’s lesser so-called Marilyn Moments have been published with the far more revealing snaps never seeing the light of day in accordance with the gentleman’s agreement the press has with the British Royal Family. Abroad, there is no such deal which is why when Kate leaves the UK, the public gets to see a side of Kinky Kate that gets buried by the antiquated practices of her own country.

Canada & US Tour- June-July 2011

Newly duchessed, Kate arrived on July 7th at the Calgary airport with her hubby of two and a half months, Prince William. Kate’s lightweight primrose yellow Jenny Packham dress was no match for the strong gusts typically found around aircraft. With her hem lifting, Kate reached instinctively to save her extensions and not her modesty.

Kate met with a child, Diamond Marshall, who had cancer and wanted to meet a “a real princess”. To be fair to Diamond, her first choice was actually Aurora at Disneyland but Kate was going to be in the neighborhood so proximity played a factor there. But Diamond did get to give Kate presents.

Kate didn’t seem to mind who she flashed at the Calgary airport.

Just as long as they were there to see it and they were men. Oh, and that kid with cancer.

South East Asia & South Pacific Tour – September 2012

The tour had some eyebrow raising fashion moments, like the golden embroidered Alexander McQueen dress that showed a bit too much décolletage at the Malaysia State Dinner.

Then there was the culturally insensitive knee-length Beulah London dress Kate wore to the Assyakirin Mosque which should have covered her legs in their entirety.

To be fair, Kate seemed to be copying Princess Diana who wore a longer dress than Kate but also didn’t get it right.

Minor points,though, since earlier that morning at breakfast William and Kate were informed that Kate had been photographed sunbathing topless during their pre-tour secret getaway to France for which they ditched the closing ceremonies of the Paralympics.

Laurence Pieau’s defense of publishing the photos can be seen in a video contained in this Daily Mailarticle. The editor notes, “I won’t hide the fact that there are far more intimate pictures that exist that we haven’t published and we won’t publish.”

On the way home from the nine day South East Asia & South Pacific Tour on September 19th, the Cambridges passed through Brisbane where Kate struggled with the lightweight floaty Project D Penelope dress. The wind introduced itself to Kate as soon as she got off the plane to politely let her know it was there.

The ensuing dress mayhem wasn’t a sudden windjacking, Kate was aware of the gusts, this wasn’t her first airport in a flimsy dress, and yet not until the wind had already lifted her skirt to the sound of the approving shutter clicks from the photographers behind her that she attempted to make any real effort to keep her dress down.

At this point, the back of the dress is up and yet her arms are still forward.

Then Kate finally grabs the back of skirt to try to keep it down.

That bit of white beneath the hem of the highest lifted part of her dress is the white thong Kate was wearing. Strangely, after surviving one wave of the mothereffing Wind Apocalypse trying to tear her flimsy dress off her body while photographers snapped away, she started smiling and playing with the tie of her dress while the wind continued whip her dress around her legs like she was eight-years-old.

Afterwards, Kate changed into jeans and a white top to continue the trip home.

The damage, however, was done. Several media outlets went with the headline “Royal Tour Ends on a Bum Note”.

Nine days later even more revealing topless and bottomless photos from France came out. Rumors suggest that most intimate of photos were not published. Nothing erases memories of a tour like seeing someone naked, even if it’s a bit blurry. and the tantalizing prospect of some true royal naughtiness emerging some day.

New Zealand & Australia Tour – April 2014

With articles proclaiming Kate’s wardrobe would be more duchessy, with longer hemlines and weighted skirts, mere seconds into the tour, Kate managed to flash the press while winds lifted up her red Catherine Walker coat and revealed a small pair of bunched up white knickers. Royal watchers noted she still didn’t wax or shave.

While at the Blue Mountains engagement, another flimsy floaty dress around a helicopter gave Kate a bum flash almost identical to the one she had at the Calgary Airport. Local and amateur photographer, Diane Morel, took the photo which wound up in Bild and other outlets around the world. But not in the UK because of the antiquated gentleman’s agreement that prohibits them from publishing embarrassing photos of their own royal family.

Kate wasn’t done yet. A few days later she hit the trifecta at Adelaide and gave the disadvantaged youth of Adelaide an eyeful of duchess boob.

Kate wore a low-cut Alexander McQueen peplum top with a light nude plunging padded push-up bra, the bottom of which can be seen in this photo.

Kate did a lot of leaning over that day to talk to children and as part of the events.

And apparently, Kate’s plunging padded push-up bra shifted around on her a bit.

But the crowd seemed enthusiastic. Everyone thought it was going well.

Well, a lot of the excitement was over the boys getting an eyeful of duchess boob. At one point when she was seated, the boys were peaking down Kate’s plunging top, one kid there got a particularly sneaky shot of Kate’s bits with his camera phone and posted it on Facebook. His Mom made him take it down and a local new station that wrote about it also quickly took their story down as well. I guess they wanted to spare her the embarrassment not realizing Kate is a repeat offender.

Despite the time, money and great care that goes into planning these tours, each to date has been marred by at least one Kate wardrobe scandal, undoing in one snap all of the laborious logistical planning executed by the Cambridge’s extensive staff. The last tour the public was promised a more regal modest duchess but even the best laid plans are no match for the flashing tendencies of Kate Middlebum. She seems to be growing more prolific in her exhibitionist ways, so there’s no telling what the upcoming tour of India and Bhutan will hold.

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