An avowed hater of The No Talent Ass Clowns band has posted their Greatest Hits CD offer under the derogatory title of “Worst Album Ever.” The band learned of the video posting yesterday and are livid.

Singer Lars Gunblade at a recent concert.

During a press conference this morning, members of the band lashed at the YouTube contributor. “Worst album ever?” says front man Lars Gunblade. “Yeah, like anybody could know that anyway! This poster absolutely hates our band and in a way I feel sorry for him. Yet, I’d like to nut-punch him until he collapses screaming with pain in a high-pitched voice like a little girl.”

“This guy that posted our video commercial is a total dick,” says guitarist Vas Defrens. “Our greatest hits CD is totally awesome. I mean, yeah, we’ve had to drop the price to .99 cents but that’s besides the point. It’s quite a bargain and what the commercial doesn’t even mention is that the CD comes with a coupon for a free massage at Madam Stroker’s in Kings Nose, NJ. A free massage with a happy ending… how do you beat that? No pun intended.”

YouTube Poster Defends “Worst Album Ever” Post

When asked for his reaction to Gunblade’s comments, the YouTube poster responded by saying, “Look, this is the worst band in the world. I know it. You know it. Let’s stop pretending here. Did you listen to the songs in that video? It’s just childish, adolescent crap. Why is no one saying this but me? Will no one tell these assholes that they are terrible. How can you pretend they are somehow legitimate? Answer that and stay fashionable, I dare you!”

The YouTube Poster, known as “The Man,” has previously uploaded another Ass Clowns live television performance under the title “Worst Rock Band Ever,” much to the band’s disappointment. “I won’t rest until this band is forgotten,” says the Poster. “They need to be forgotten forever. If I can contribute to their downfall, that will be a very good feeling!”

Your dog is dead because I poisoned him earlier in the day. Don’t blame it on the Ass Clowns. I got sick of hearing him bark day and night. And I’m tired of listening to you talking loud on your patio. You’ve been warned.

I’m real sorry that the brakes failed on your wife’s car yesterday. She must have looked like a bucket of chum after hitting that wall at 70 miles an hour. Still, I’m glad that I got a chance to bang her on the 4th of July when you were away in Boston.