Chew on This

Storytime! I love a good story… I really love fairytales. You have a heroine that does the right thing and works really hard and minds her business. You have a villain- most of the time that villain is an evil queen or stepmother- but always the villain is someone that tries to get what they want by taking the deceitful lazy loser path. And then there’s Prince Charming who always saves the day and he and the heroine live happily ever after.

Once upon a time there was a girl who worked in a little town for a shop keeper. The girl worked hard everyday- even on holidays- to take home an honest wage that would care for her and her two little dwarves at home in their tiny cottage. While working for the shop keeper the girl met Prince Charming and they fell in love. He loved the dwarves too, and they were well on their way to happily ever after.

But one day the shop keeper was hurt and couldn’t run the shop any longer. Not knowing what to do, he asked his stepson- who was really a dirty troll that lived under a nearby bridge- to help him keep the doors to his little business open. Thinking of all the riches he could surely steal away from his stepfather, the dirty troll agreed. He made a clever disguise to hide his ugliness and thieving motives from the townspeople and went to work.

When the troll got to the shop he started thinking about the girl that worked for his stepfather. He knew she would suspect that he was only out to steal his stepfather’s riches. He thought about how she and Prince Charming were living happily ever after, and he was jealous. He wanted revenge but was afraid of Prince Charming, so the dirty troll sent the girl a text message and fired her (yes, even trolls can have cell phones).

The girl was in despair. She worried for days about what she and the prince would do without the few pennies the shop keeper had paid her. She worried that the little dwarves would have to do without. Prince Charming told her not to fret. That she could file some papers and the dirty troll would have to pay her anyway, and that until she figured things out he would take care of everything (the girl REALLY loves Prince Charming). So she filed the papers and set to the task of finding work again in the small and economically stunted town, baking and taking care of the prince and the dwarves all the while.

Papers were delivered to the dirty troll and he was outraged. He enlisted the help of the old lady that worked for the shop keeper (think The Wicked Witch of the West in all her green-make-upped glory, complete with flying monkey slaves) and they plotted together to make up lies so that they wouldn’t have to pay the girl. Because their disguises were so clever and their lies were so thick, they were able to fool the council that reviews the papers and managed to avoid paying the girl.

For now.

Because if there is one thing I have learned about fairy tales, it’s that the girl and Prince Charming always live happily ever after and the little dwarves always go on singing songs and mining rocks (or whatever it is that dwarves do). Trolls get slain by the prince, or their disguises fade away and the townspeople chase them back under the bridge. Someone will always drop a house on the wicked witch and then Dorothy gets to steal her awesome shoes.

So chew on that.

Chop up 3 cups of your favorite crispy apples– beware of poison apples that witches leave at your doorstep– no need to peel these. This cake is a little bit rustic.

Stir in the apples and walnuts and press the mixture into the prepared cake pans.

Bake for about an hour and then cool in the pan on a wire rack for a few minutes before removing the cake from the pan to cool completely.

You can enjoy this cake just like this, or you can make some cream cheese frosting and layer it like I did.

Chewy Apple Walnut Cake with Cream Cheese Frosting

Ingredients (cake)

3 cups of chopped apples

3 cups all purpose flour

2 cups sugar

1 teaspoon baking soda

1teaspoon cinnamon

1 teaspoon salt

1 1/2 cups vegetable oil

3 eggs

1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla

1 cup chopped walnuts

Ingredients (frosting)

8 ounces cream cheese

1/4 cup butter

1 1/2 cups powdered sugar, sifted to remove the clumps

1 teaspoon vanilla

To Make

Cake: Preheat the oven to 350 and grease two 8 or 9 inch round cake pans. Wisk together the flour, sugar, baking soda, cinnamon and salt. Stir in the oil, eggs and vanilla, and when everything is combined add in the apples and walnuts. Press into the prepared cake bans and bake for 1 hour. Let cakes cool for a few minutes on a wire rack before turning them out of their pans to cool completely. Frosting: Cream together the cream cheese and butter. Blend in the vanilla and then gradually add in the powdered sugar, blending until creamy.

***These characters and events are fictional and any resemblence to persons living dead or fictional (no matter how totally accurate), or situations past, present or fictional is purely and completely coincidental***