Tuesday, August 11, 2009

I'm just sitting here in bed getting a little light headed (don't worry, I just opened back up my door). You see, I have this fear; a rather irrational fear at that. I believe I have mentioned it before. I have a fear of cockroaches. Not just because they're dirty, creepy, gross, big, and crunch when you kill them, but I just outright fear them. I try to be brave, and I'll see one, I'll grab a shoe, and attempt to attack. I'll get within a foot and before I know it I'm throwing the shoe at the darn thing and screaming like a little girl running in the other direction. I CAN'T HELP IT!!! I once had to get TWF to come over to my then condo, come inside and kill a roach that had been residing on the wall over my only door in and out of my condo. I had been a prisoner in my own home for about 5 hours because I knew, I just knew, that if I attempted to leave and pass under said roach, he would jump on me. And as a grown woman, I don't fancy screaming like a little girl and spazzing out while (not to be crass) most likely peeing in my pants. I kid you not. And yes, I know it's ridiculous. But back to why I'm light headed. I have this spray that works wonders. Country Fresh Scent my butt. If you can get a direct hit and hold it for at least a second, the sucker is a goner. I have even found the residual effects to be rather good as I have found a day or two later dead guys I didn't even know were around. So I'm sitting here in bed, and out of the corner of my eye, what should I see, but a nice young fella trying to crawl up my pretty blue curtains. Oh hellllllllll no. I run to the kitchen, grab my Country Fresh, and I go to spray and the damn thing jumps. Well thank God I didn't just throw the spray can!! I'm spraying up towards the ceiling as I'm screaming and jumping onto my bed (leaping might have been a better word). But of course he drops down behind my chair. I inch off my bed and walk over to said chair. Don't see him, don't hear him, I'm certainly not going to move the chair and see if he's under it... so naturally I spray a ring around the chair. He wants to get away from the chair; he must pass through the ring of death. Feeling a bit better about the whole situation, I get back in bed and pray I don't have creepy bug dreams. BUT LO AND BEHOLD, not 5 minutes later over in the other corner of my room I hear this odd sorta scratching noise. HE'S ALIVE!! Though I can tell he's suffering as some of his legs don't seem to be working. He's actually kinda freaking out which is only making ME freak out. Needless to say, the spray was still sitting on my bedside table... I grab the spray, take aim, but just as I am about to spray, he casually cralws under the bed. Wanting to get some sleep tonight I knew I couldn't let him get away. So I lean over, hanging over the side of the bed on my stomach and look... and wait.. and decide to just spray... when WHOOOOOSH the damn thing comes flying/sprinting/dive bombing/suicide mission running straight towards my face!! Still spraying for my dear life I spring upwards onto my bed essentially spraying the entire wall before regaining some composure and I look over. He's sitting on top of my book (that I swear I've been reading.. aka: haven't even started). Well, I figured I wasn't going to start it tonight anyway... and once again, I spray like my life is depending on it. So now, if you came into my room, you'd smell the lovely Country Fresh aroma and find a dead cockroach upside down on top of a book next to my bed..... WHAT?! I'm not gonna touch it....