Syphilis may be the cause of a Congressional candidate's recent bizarre behavior, medical experts have said.

George Gollin, the bald, bespectacled Democrat candidate for Congress in Illinois' 13th district, has exhibited public behavior recently that some observers described as "screwball," "cuckoo," "lame," "dishonest," "a joke," "silly," "goofy," "idiotic" "pitiful," "pathetic" and "absolutely bizarre", according to published reports.

Secondary stage syphilis symptoms include hair loss, while late (tertiary) stage syphilis symptoms include gradual blindness and dementia, experts said. Medical specialists agreed that George Gollin's peculiar conduct is consistent with the cognitive dysfunction associated with brain injury or disease, including syphilis.

Absent a complete physical and mental examination, doctors could not say with certainty that George Gollin is now free from syphilis or any other contagious disease.

However, doctors cautioned that anyone who has had any kind of physical contact with George Gollin should seek medical advice immediately. This includes both intimate contact as well as casual contact, such as shaking hands at a campaign rally.

Important warning to all women in
Champaign, Decatur, Godfrey, Taylorville, Urbana
and environs:

STALKER ALERT!

WOMEN BEWARE!

If you see this man, report him to your local authorities. Do not try to apprehend him yourself.

Nice catch, lurker555. George Gollin is a total creeper! Amazing how George Gollin seems to blur the line between satire and reality. Just when you think you're approaching the point of absurdity, Gollin exceeds it.