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A successful Valentine’s Day should include an exchange of emotional intimacy, a skill that many men find difficult to master.

“Men feel a lot of pressure because it isn’t your average weeknight, it’s Valentine’s Day,” says dating consultant Chelsea Pescitelli. “So you are expected to be your most romantic and some men don’t know how to properly communicate that.”

The easiest thing to do for a woman on Valentine’s Day is flowers and dinner out, said Pescitelli. “Anything more than that, anything more personal, is going to impress us.”

For men who have difficulty coming up with creative ways to express themselves, Pescitelli suggests writing Post-it Notes, each inscribed with one thing that you love about your partner and leaving them around the house for her to find.

“Women write letters and cards and thank-you notes and we know that men don’t, so this is a really easy thing to do,” she said.

If the idea of talking about your “relationship” over dinner is intimidating, Pescitelli suggests bringing up happy memories, such as the time you first met, when you knew you were in love or a romantic holiday. If those memories are a little hazy, go through old photographs to remind yourself of details, such as what she was wearing and who else was there.

“Tell her why you fell in love and why you are still together and what you appreciate about the things she does every day,” she said. “Shock her with the things you remember, that she didn’t think you had even taken notice of.”

Plan dinner days or a week in advance and cook as much as possible before your partner comes through the door to ensure that you are present and unencumbered for face time.

“The key to making date night work and impressing a girl or your wife is to avoid spending all your time in the kitchen and using every pot in the house and leaving it looking like a disaster,” said chef and cooking instructor David Robertson of The Dirty Apron. “Prepare ahead and make the execution minimal.”

The dish Robertson recommends for single friends is seared scallops with pea coulis, which you make ahead of time, and chorizo ragu, which can be served warm or at room temperature.

“All you are doing is searing the scallops, which takes two-and-half minutes from start to finish,” he said.

Even more important, the dish leaves only a single pan to wash, he said.

“You don’t want your partner washing up.”

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