June 14, 2007

A creative no-girlfriend sentence from up north

A helpful reader sent me this AP story discussing an intriguing sentence from Canada:

A Canadian man won't be available for a relationship over the next three years — by court order. An Ontario judge has ruled that Steven Cranley cannot have a girlfriend until 2010.

Cranley, who's 24, pleaded guilty earlier this week to charges stemming from an assault on a former girlfriend. He punched and kicked his girlfriend during an argument after their break-up. When police arrived he stabbed himself with a butcher knife, puncturing his aorta.

Doctors say Cranley has a dependent personality disorder, and finds it hard to deal with rejection. And they say he'll probably re-offend if he gets involved in another romantic relationship. Cranley has served nearly 150 days in custody. The judge decided that was enough jail time.

This seems like a hard order to enforce, eh? Does it cover friends with benefits? Indeed, this sentence sounds like the premise for a kooky movie produced by Lorne Michaels starring Norm MacDonald (they're both Canadian).