Once upon a time, I had a hard time saying “no” – both personally and professionally. It was pretty bad. At times, it felt like I was in the constant whirlwind of playing superwoman – feeling pressured to do it all. It all eventually caught up with me and by then, I had ultimately lost focus. My goals and priorities suffered as a result of extreme burn-out, and my life has literally unraveled before my eyes.

What a mess.

Photo: Valerie Robinson/ Unapologetically Us

And then, things changed. I got fed-up. Life can certainly get overwhelming, having to simultaneously juggle family, friends, career, entrepreneurship, motherhood and marriage. Yes, it’s hard work, but so worth it once your priorities been to align. But one thing I am not ashamed to confidently announced when I am experiencing extreme overwhelm or feeling as though I had been stretched way to thin, is “no”. Activate this tiny, yet mighty, word…especially when in desperate need of self-care and quality fun time with your family.

“No” is a complete sentence. -Oprah

Now that I’ve learned to effectively prioritize my schedule, I have adequate notice to plan accordingly to be present for special events and milestones being celebrated with loved ones without feeling flustered.

Photo: Valerie Robinson/ Unapologetically Us

Do you struggle with “no”? Here are 3 reasons why you should exercise your power:

FOR YOUR SANITY

Don’t allow the stresses of life and the feeling of everyone dumping on you break your spirit. You will realize that some sort of compromise needs to be reached, and it shouldn’t equate to you sacrificing your overall well-being. If you keep allowing yourself to be stretched to capacity, it will continue to happen! Simple as that.

TO FULFILL YOUR MOST IMPORTANT COMMITMENTS IN YOUR LIFE

We have our priorities outlined in accordance to the people or things we wish to give our undivided time and attention to. In order to be fully present when it matters, we have got to stop saying “maybe” or “yes” to the “fillers” (i.e., things we know we want no parts of or simply are unable to commit to at a given time). It will be difficult and may even feel a bit weird at first, but practice giving those fillers a hard “no”, and watch a huge weight get immediately lift off your shoulders. Pretty soon, it will be second nature.

Toss overcommitment out of your life’s equation.

Understandably, it is challenging to want to be everywhere at once and everything to everybody. You may not want to miss anything, but you will soon thank yourself for the downtime.

TO BE SELFISH WITH YOUR TIME (AND BE OK WITH IT)

By all means, if you do have the time and energy to take on extra things, go right ahead. But only on your own terms! The most important lesson in all of this is to not feel pressured into saying “yes” all the time. There is nothing like being present for the people and things that matter the most, so plan accordingly.

Valerie Robinson is an award-winning writer and photographer. Based in the Washington, DC area, this HBCU alumni is a wife and mother of three who strives and encourages others to be the best versions of themselves.