All your dreams have come true. At the AAA Texas 500 at the Texas Motor Speedway on Nov. 3, fans can enjoy the Shake ‘N Bacon Brew, a bacon and beer milkshake.

There’s almost no way that’s good, but there’s also almost no way I wouldn’t want to try it — just to confirm my suspicion that it’s impossible a bacon and beer milkshake could be as remarkable as it sounds.

People sometimes say bacon is overrated because of the popularity of increasingly ridiculous foods that incorporate bacon. They should leave bacon out of this. Bacon on its own is adequately rated as the best thing.

It’s gimmicks like bacon cereal and bacon chocolate that tarnish bacon’s hard-earned reputation. Bacon should be combined with other foods only if it improves upon the bacon, and — funny thing about that — almost nothing can really improve upon bacon.

I'm with you. The only thing I can think of is that people are more interested in people watching the absolute trainwreck of a crowd than watching a loud boring race while hoping to see someone get killed in a highlight worthy wreck.