Thursday, July 30, 2009

It's another navy blue tie for BriWi tonight, but this one has a narrow stripe of sky blue. Yet, it's not a particularly adventurous or arresting tie, now is it? The whole effect was rather catalog layout-esque, all those complimentary shades of blue. I half expected to see another newsman, perhaps Robert Bazell or maybe even dear Chuck Todd in a brown or grey version of Brian's ensemble, standing in one of those impossibly phony poses, smiling toward the camera, very still and scary.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Tonight, Brian knots up a...ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz....What? Hello? Oh. I'm sorry. I nodded off there for a minute. As I was saying, Brian Williams is conserva.......ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz. WHAT?!Oh for heaven's sake. Solid navy blue raw silk cravaZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

"Good morning parents and students, and welcome to our open house here at Saint Fagin's School for Difficult Boys. As you can see, all our staff here, including myself, are wearing the required uniform, right down to the Regulation Necktie which is navy blue crossed at rather wide intervals with twin narrow stripes of antique white. One of these ties will be in your Welcome Kits should you decide to enroll here and become one of the Saint Fagin Family. Remember our motto: There are no bad boys, only longer paths to harmonious living!"

Monday, July 27, 2009

It has been a long time since Brian Williams knotted up this particular cravat. The field color is icy hyacinth blue, and petite white windowpanes the size of perhaps a lady's fingertip line up here and there upon it. The tint of the blue--and its frostiness--softens the geometry of the pattern and the overall effect is one of grace and gentility. It's like when you were "working on a project" in the library with a group of your friends and you all got a little too rowdy: the really pretty librarian with the great clothes and the perfect makeup looked over at you, put her French manicured finger to her lips, and just barely shook her head while smiling ever-so-slightly.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Tonight Brian knots up a cravat of violet blue with a tiny white petit point in regimental rows, closely arrayed. This tie is the Swiss army knife of BW's wardrobe. It can cross all seasons, really, with its serviceable print, and its color is likewise suitable from summer through winter. Pair it with a nice heather grey wool jacket and creamy shirt and the look is perfect for chilly reports on wicked Nor'easters. For a segment on midsummer forest fires in the western US, how about a navy suitcoat with a subtle pinstripe and a crisp white shirt? This tie is, by itself, A Fashion Arsenal.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

"Igor, bring me the specimen. No, not that one--the thistle-colored one with the narrowish ultramarine blue stripes there, pulsating and glowing with some sort of primal, eerie lifeforce of its own. See how its stripes seem, though, to blur and become indistinct on the left there? As if it is slowly leaving this Earthly plane, its extraterrestrial lifeforce unable to acclimate to our atmosphere? Yet...it somehow retains its vibrance and vitality. It's alive, Igor! IT'S ALIVE!"

Monday, July 20, 2009

The onslaught of solids continues as Brian slips on another plain silk cravat. This one, the lavender, was in heavy rotation during Spring 2007 (and dubbed "The Debate Tie" because we saw it during the MSNBC Presidential Debates and then thrice more in quick succession). This summer it appears refreshing and cool, (impeccably double-dimpled), and sophisticated. It is a palate cleanser of boysenberry and crème fraîche granita served on a small chilled plate at an elegant bistro. Two impossibly tiny silver-spooned bites later, and it is but a light memory before the waiter bows and presents your dinner.

Friday, July 17, 2009

* Brian knots up yet another solid cravat, but this one is plainly different. Its quality places it in the Purple Pantheon of Tasteful Ties. The fabric is whispery silk, and the color is a frosty orchid, as if the florist mistakenly bumped into the thermostat control and somehow caused a light snow to flurry within the cooler, the flakes settling gently upon the fragile blooms.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

"Officer, believe me, I understand your frustration when you tell me that I'm not giving you much to go on. It's just that, well, there's not much I can tell you. It was a navy blue tie. Just a navy blue tie.That's it. No, there was no pattern. No, there was no other color. NO, THERE WAS NOTHING DISTINCTIVE ABOUT IT IN ANY WAY. IT. WAS. A. NAVY. BLUE. TIE.PERIOD! Now, please. Go out there and do your job and get it off the street!"

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

There is nothing wrong with this cravat, the silver and crimson stripe with a Vintage Flair. It is debonair and dashing; its panache is balanced by the right amount of gravitas. It is...the George Clooney of ties.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

It's such a Typical BriTie this evening: Crayola violet slashed with twin narrow stripes of vivid white, widely spaced, lovely centered dimple, and the classic funnel knot perfectly placed. But it's a rather pedestrian tie. It makes me think of junior high school extra-curricular uniforms, like for the band or for the cheerleaders. The kind of uniforms that different kids wear each year for years and years at a time and don't even have names on them anywhere so that anyone can wear them and all look the same. A little (unintentionally, but nonetheless) sad.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Debut Tie. Brian has made this L'Eté d'Orange, and this stripe of bittersweet and putty is his latest foray into that color. But like Hansel and Gretel, whose breadcrumbs were nibbled away by errant forest denizens, I felt lost and confused by this tie. I was happy and confident at first--seduced by the rich depth of the dark orange--but was soon befuddled and disoriented by the odd, muddied hue of the contrasting stripe. Was it greyish? Bluish? Chalky? Certainly the cut and knot were perfect in every way--I could just eat them up...but...it did wicked things to Brian's lovely brown complexion. So I resolved to wait until tomorrow's tie and live happily ever after.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Every once in a while, Brian likes to toss on this cravat just to see if I'm still indulgent enough to give it a Fashion Pass. And darn it, I am. I can't help it; I'm a pushover for its warm cinnamon-red field color with its rich intarsia fabric and its demure ash polka dots ever-so delicately rimmed with ebony. I know he wears it too often and that it's not very exciting and that it's really more of a Fall/Winter Tie, but what am I going to do? It's like saying I'll stop buying black shoes.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Brian's shopping savvy is evident tonight as we see the lilac version of 26 June's Bold Pink Tie. "If you love it, buy one in another color!" is an age-old Smart Shopper Admonition that many of us follow as we comb the racks looking for tasteful fashion. But this cravat holds not the same...cache as its blushing brother. True, it has the same fabric quality, the same petit point print primly scattered in ivory upon it, but it's just not as...oh, je ne sais quoi. Whereas the Pink Tie is bold and daring and Makes A Statement, this tie is just another Purplish Tie, you know? Like the difference between a butterfly and a moth.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Il est une cravate d'ennui ce soir.Le sigh. Le yawn. I feel like B-dub could have jazzed things up a little, sort of as a salute to The King Of Pop. That way, he could have looked at the man in the mirror and seen a little of the dancing machine within himself! Instead, we got the deep sea blue with the wide-spaced twin white pinstripes. Could he have been any more...Andy Williams?

Monday, July 6, 2009

Oh, sure, it's The Same Old Same Old for Mr. Williams tonight: the pallid gold and sailor navy stripe. But this cravat is a Hallmark Tie of sorts. It always looks sartorially splendid, and its knot is worthy of a Keatsian ode, with its form, tightness, and perfectly placed stripe. This necktie is like a faultlessly worded toast to the bride and groom, a tasteful present to a difficult in-law, the most tactful suggestion to an embarrassing guest.

Why Aren't There Pictures Of The Ties On This Blog?

I have to chuckle every time I get this question--and I get it more than I care to admit.

Putting photos of the ties on my blog would then render my descriptions totally unnecessary and extraneous, would it not? Why then, would I need to describe them if you could just look at them? If you would, however, like to witness the Sartorial Splendour of Bri's Ties, you can always do what I do--watch the newscast! If you aren't home or can't eke out that time, then after 10 PM, you can go to the MSNBC.com Nightly News site and play the webcast.

Axis of Evil

What does "TWSNLBRAINDTM" Mean?

This strange acronym stands for Tie Which Shall No Longer Be Reviewed And Is Now Dead To Me. Brian wore it with such shameless frequency and it is such a boring, pedestrian tie (which spawned a series of ties with the similar color combination and stripes--always stripes!) that I have forever refused to describe it ever again. If you wish to read a description of this awful tie, you may refer to the 2/19, 4/18, 5/3, 5/10, and 5/15 of the 2007 Tie Reports. After that, I went completely over the edge and conferred TWSNLBRAINDTM status.