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Thursday, January 7, 2016

Say, What Time is It?

I’ve noticed a disturbing trend in my sleep patterns, and I think you should know about it.

Here it is: Every night, I wake up at 3:06. Every single night.

Well of course it’s to use the bathroom. And I’ve come to terms with that.

What amazes me, though, is that it’s always at 3:06. Always.

Twenty-five years ago, this would’ve wigged me right out. I would have already fashioned some either horribly gory tale about the dreadful murders that took place in my house at exactly 3:06 or a poignant tale of unrequited love that, well, somehow involves the numbers three-oh-six. I haven’t quite worked that one out yet.

And why? Because I’m a silly, gullible American made permanently irrational and superstitious by years of crap Hollywood movies, that’s why.

Dead people coming to life after they’ve been drowned/burned/thrown out of airplanes/blown into space? Well how else are we going to milk this to a sequel?

People leaping out of ridiculously improbable locations? Hey! Who doesn’t have something bursting through the interior of their waterbed? I’ll buy that!

Phone calls from beyond the grave predicting my imminent demise and what?! Speak up! What do you mean “will I accept the charges”? Sure! Why not?

24 comments:

that was happening to me, BUT, i started using an eyemask when i went to bed, and lo and behold, i slept through the night! who knows? i'm older than you, so these days i just roll with the urges when they hit. *gawd, my life has become so fucking boring* xoxoxox

So having to pee in the night is to be blamed on old Hollywood movies ..... makes sense to me.

I quit drinking anything after dinner time. We don't want to discuss old bladders etc.and I am not even old enough to discuss them yet ... it is another thing to dread .. age .. wetting the bed .. talking to the cats ... quoting the cats to other people ..

For an entire year, I woke up always at 11 minutes after whatever hour. Freaky. I read that elevens are portals to the afterlife. Those ghosts had me going until I finally turned the clock to the wall. Now, I wake up every three hours. Old bladders and begging cats, not a good combination. 3:06...oh maybe the Ides of March...something good is coming your way.

I keep getting older, but I have my doubts as to whether I'm getting any wiser. One things for certain I know is that you should never, ever go into the basement or answer the phone when you're home alone in the house. :D

I seem to wake up around 3:10 every morning and then run to pee. Some of my female friends say the same so maybe it's a sex thing. I do find some things a little disconcerting. For a few days after my husband died, I would get calls from his cell phone, which was in the cabinet with a dead battery and had been there for a few weeks! My cell would read "Clays cell" telling me who is calling. My friends staying with me witnessed it. They told me he was telling me he still cared and was letting me know it's ok. It was so spooky.

I used to get up in the wee hours regularly, to wee of course, then I stopped drinking coffee after 5pm and slept all night. Now I have a cat waking me up in the wee hours, so he can go out and wee. Refuses to use the litter tray now that he has discovered the great outdoors.

I was sure you were going to tell us a story about the great beyond, because I know you, girl, or thought I did. Most of your far-out stories involved voices or other phenomena that helped you, as I recall. Warned you, got you out of danger. So I though, "Hm, maybe there's something to this stuff." Now I find that even you blame the movies. What am I to think?