Always remember: Don’tallow personal attacks AND don’t personalize remarks. This can be very challenging as everyone’s first response to “personalize” the situation. A key tool in any learning environment is successful and respectful interaction with learners (and the work / team environment too!!!). When communicating (verbally, in writing, or face to face) and corresponding with learners (colleagues) about “heated moments” It is prudent to ‘depersonalize’ the communication /correspondence by not using “you” and “I” but referencing the “issue” and the “course of action or resolution”.

For example if a student email states “You gave me a 69% on the last quiz and I don’t think it was fairly graded.” A response might look something like this: “Thank you for the email inquiry regarding performance on the LP 6 quiz. In review of the quiz, questions 4, 5 and 9 were not thoroughly / accurately addressed. Content focusing on the specific types of elder abuse; who are the most common perpetrators, and the four requirements for reporting elder abuse would have greatly improved performance on the quiz.”

It takes conscious thought and effort to develop this communication philosophy but take it from me ….. it most often does defuse the “heated moment” and directs attention to the issue at hand.

What health care services you would choose to receive if you became incapacitated?

What life-support means to you?

What kind of medical treatment you would want if you were close to death?

What kind of medical treatment you would want if you were in a coma and not expected to wake up?

What kind of medical treatment you would want if you sustained permanent, severe brain damage and were not expected to recovery?

Who would make these decisions for you in the event that you could not?

If you were close to death:

How comfortable do you want to be?

How do you want people to treat you?

What do you want your loved ones to know?

If not, know you are not alone. A 2014 study by the American Journal of Preventive Medicine found that nearly 2/3rd of Americans did not any form of advanced directive. In other words, only 26% of Americans did have advanced directives in place. In addition, it is important to note that at the time of death, only half of us are able to make our own decisions.

An advanced directive is a legal document that states your medical wishes in the event you are unable to express them and includes a living will and power of attorney for healthcare. An alternative advanced directive is the “Five Wishes” document which is legal in a majority of states and can be found at this link: https://www.agingwithdignity.org/five-wishes.

Chances are you are an informal caregiver. An informal caregiver is a spouse, child, grandchild, friend, or relative who provides assistance with everyday tasks and is not paid for their services. In 2011, informal caregivers provided over 1.3 billion hours of care PER MONTH to persons aged 65 and over. In addition, roughly 50% of these informal caregivers are employed and managing job responsibilities. Can you say challenging? Can you say stressful?