Let’s do this, Rex. First order of business: BOUNTIES. A fresh whore to the man who supplies a Tebow part ripped clean from his body. Gotta settle for Jenn Sterger if you only draw blood.

[Bays for blood while beating knife and fork against kitchen table]

Oh, you shut up, Breer. We only like you because you serve as a handy counterexample to Peter King’s overpowering nutmeg-scented laziness. Don’t you start telling us things we don’t want to hear. “OMG HOW DO WE PREPARE FOR A QB WHO ONLY COMPLETES TWO PASSES A GAME?! PLEASE, JUST GIVE US ’07 BRADY INSTEAD. ANYTHING BUT THAT!”

Honestly I could care less who wins this game, but partof me almost want the Broncos to win, and here’s the reason:

TWWL along with every other media outlet is going to devote 75% of its porgramming to Archangel Tebow tomorrow win or lose unless another assistant coach decides to fondle little boys, so regardless the outcome we’re getting a saturated with Tebow tomorrow, I’ve already made my peace with that. However if Archangel Tebow and the Broncos manage to win this game then I bet some people around here, and other parts of the interwebz, will lose their shit, and that would be funny to witness.

On the other hand seeing Timmy get dismembered would be pretty hilarious too.

@UCL: I want him to win just enough so that they stick with him as the starter for next year.
Then the league reviews game film, figures out how to beat a guy that completes 42% of his passes, and the Broncos go 0-16.

Sorry Lord Revisisle, nothing against the Jets. Generally whenever there is a game I have no stake in (neither of these teams is a division rival of the Cowboys, or even in the same conference) I root for chaos.

Actually Tebus shining, Nacho stinking, but the Jets D pulling out a last-minute win on a fumble would work best. The radio talking heads are actually picking the Raiders to win the AFC West. I have to see that happen one last time before I die, and I only plan on living another 40-50 years.

Tim Tebow, Who art in Denver:
Shallow be thy game.
Give us this day our daily lols,
Stare down thy receivers
As they get mowed for no palpable gain.
Deliver the ball into double coverage,
For thine is the laughably short career,
Much like that of the offspring of Kordell Stewart and an Ewok.

“So wait. This guy is worse than me, but he gets wins. But I get run out of town because I give fans the finger rather than cross myself like a self-righteous douche?”
/suits up, plays handball for an hour, crank calls Mike Shanahan

ANOTHER fucking week of Tebow fellation! GOD FUCKING DAMMIT! What the fuck were his stats?

/checks box score

Holy aborted fetus, Batman. 9-20? Are you fucking serious? Wow. Just…wow. Fuck the fuck out of you fucking fucks, fucking Jets. At least you could repay that free game against the Cowboys by sacrificing Tebow on an altar but NO, you suck him off like a Catholic priest in an altar boy changing room. Jesus. I hope the Titans make the playoffs instead of you guys.

Tebow this year is 4-1, four wins agains one loss. I don’t care how you quantify that, he’s 4-1, that’s the truth. People will try to discredit that with other stats, but everything I’ve been told about football and sports in general has been that the ultimate stat, the one that really matters is wins and losses, and Tebow is 4-1 this year/ Rationalize it anyway you want, or don’t, but it doesn’t change that he’s 4-1 this year.

Listen, haters are going to hate, and maybe the way he gets it done isn’t always pretty, but there’s no arguing with the results in front of our face, and those results say that Tim Tebow has earned his place as a troll.

Yeah, well Denver’s D played extremely well (scored as many points as Tebow), special teams played way better the the Jets. Vaughn Miller had as much to do with that win as Tebow. Credit the coaching staff also, for exploiting the college plays he’s really good at.

It seems lost in the debate but with the way the opposing teams have played in those four wins most QBs in the league, I’ll even give him this; say the any top 20 QBs would have won those games. A real QB would have comfortably beat the Dolphins and the Jets tonight.