Marriage is Love

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Thursday, May 28, 2009

Rob Thomas wrote a very awesome article about how straight people should be supporting gay people, and he threw in a bunch of personal rants, making for a great article. I posted it here.

The Big Gay Chip on My Shoulder

I am a straight man, with a big gay chip on my shoulder.

A while back on my Twitter page (yes, I know how ridiculous it sounds), I mentioned that, if I believed in the devil, Pat Robertson might be him.

Being a fairly liberal-leaning guy with either liberal friends or Republican and Christian friends who don't believe that being one has anything to do with the other, I was surprised at how many people took offense to what I had to say.

These people weren't friends of Mr. Robertson but friends, apparently, of God. They had "spoken" with him and he had assured them that he was no friend of the gays. He also told them that he loved America more than any other country and was a huge fan of Dancing With the Stars.

The small controversy or "Twitter-versy" (patent on phrase pending) all started when I had made the mistake of asking why two people of the same sex shouldn't be able to make the same life-long commitment and (more importantly) under the same god, as straight people. Why can't my gay friends be as happily married as my wife and I? It seemed simple to me, but let me start off by telling you a series of things that I believe to be true:

I am a person who believes that people are born gay. I don't think you have any control over what moves you or to whom you're attracted. That's why it's called an attraction and not a choice.

I believe that America is a great nation of even greater people. I also believe that anyone who says that this is a "Christian nation" has RHS, or revisionist history syndrome, and doesn't realize that most of our founding fathers were either atheist or at least could see, even in the 1700s, that all through Europe at the time, religion was the cause of so much persecution that they needed to put into their brand new constitution a SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE so that the ideals of a group of people could never be forced onto the whole. (I also find it funny when people point out to me that it says "one nation under god" in our pledge of allegiance, not realizing that this was an addition made in 1954 during the communism scare of the McCarthy era. It's not surprising, however, knowing that these same people would punch me in the mouth if I called Jesus a Jew.)

I believe the fact that an atheist, who doesn't believe in God at all, is allowed to enter into the holy land of marriage while a gay Christian is not, shows that this law is arbitrary. Are we to believe that anyone who doesn't live their life according to the King James Bible isn't protected by the same laws that protect those who do? Using the same argument that I've seen on the 700 Club, that would mean that Jewish, Hindu, or Muslim weddings are also null and void.

I believe that to deny this right to the gay population is to say to them, "this god is not your god and he doesn't love you." There isn't one person who is against gay marriage that can give me a reason why it shouldn't be legal without bringing God or their religion into it. Still, I'm amazed at the audacity of a small, misdirected group of the ultra-conservative Christian right wing, to spend millions of dollars, in a recession, on advertisements to stop two men or women who love each other from being able to be married, but when you present any opposition to them, they accuse you of attacking their religion. Isn't it funny that the people who are the quickest to take someone's basic rights to happiness are always the loudest to scream when someone attacks their right to do so?

But this isn't a paper about religion. How could it be? Since we clearly have a separation of church and state, how could a conversation about laws have anything to do with religion at all? I'm writing about basic civil rights. We've been here before, fighting for the rights of African Americans or women to vote, or the rights of Jewish Americans to worship as they see fit. And, just as whites fought for African Americans or Christians for Jewish Americans, straight people must stand up and be a voice for gay people.

I've heard it said before, many times, that if two men or two women are allowed to join into a civil union together, why can't they be happy with that and why is it so important that they call it marriage? In essence, what's in a name?

A civil union has to do with death. It's essentially a document that gives you lower taxes and the right to let your faux spouse collect your insurance when you pass away. A marriage is about life. It's about a commitment. And this argument is about allowing people to have the right to make that commitment, even if it doesn't make sense to you. Anything else falls under the category of "separate but equal" and we know how that works out.

The support of legalizing gay marriage is in no way meant to change the ideals of the section of Christians who believe that homosexuality is a sin. But we should refuse to let other people's ideals shape the way we live our lives. Each of us has a short ride on this earth and as long as we stay in our lane, and don't affect someone else's ride, we should be allowed to drive as we see fit.

A recent study published by sex researcher Rachel Jones claims that "pulling out" is statistically almost as effective as condoms.

Really? Like really? Even if it is, this is not something to be advertising. Do you know how many more pregnancies will be had because of this? Stupid woman.

Her studies showed that with perfect use, as in pull out every time you have sex, it has a 4% failure rate, as compared to condoms 2%. So? Who's going to do it perfectly? But, quick-thinking Jones addresses this too, placing at the very end of her report, almost like a disclaimer that no one will read, "Nobody's perfect." Typically, pulling out has an 18 failure rate. Great.

This is what several gay groups are saying. After Theodore Olsen and David Bowies helped two gay couples (one male and one female) file suit in the Supreme Court against Prop 8 (not the recent CA supreme court decision to uphold it), several gay rights group feel that the move is premature. They only see it as the possibility to give states the steam to keep gay marriage legal. If the Supreme Court says Prop 8 is ok, everyone else will. Let's just hope they don't.

In the wake of Prop 8's upholding in CA, some religious leaders in Washington, D.C. have taken it upon themselves to personally see to it that the recent bill allowing recognition of same-sex marriages from outside states be destroyed by next year. They're trying to get a referendum started, and let's hope it goes nowhere (i wouldn't hold my breath for their success). Supposedly, they're scared shitless because of rumors that a gay marriage law may be put into effect in D.C. by the end of the year. Yay for that!Advocate article

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

To save time and commentary, i just posted the note exactly. Enough said from it.

Los Angeles Gay & Lesbian Center CEO Lorri L. Jean has a few words for President Barack Obama, who visits California one day after the California Supreme Court ruled to uphold Prop 8.

Dear President Obama:

Welcome to California, Mr. President. I welcome you with a heavy heart because of the California Supreme Court’s decision to uphold Prop. 8, relegating same-sex couples to second class status and denying us that most noble promise of America, “liberty and justice for all.”

You are arriving in Los Angeles on the heels of emotional demonstrations throughout California and our nation and your silence at such a time speaks volumes. LGBT people and our allies have the "audacity to hope" for a country that treats us fairly and equally and for a President with the will to stand up for those ideals. From you we expect nothing less.

We know the country faces many serious challenges and we have strived to be patient. We’ve waited for the slightest sign you would live up to your promise to be a “fierce advocate” for our equal rights while watching gay and lesbian members of the armed forces, who have never been more needed, get discharged from the military. And so far you have done nothing. No stop loss order. No call to cease such foolish and discriminatory actions that make our nation less safe.

You pledged to repeal the "don't ask, don't tell" policy, Mr. President. You promised to support a “complete repeal” of the so-called Defense of Marriage Act and pledged to advocate for legislation that would give same-sex couples the 1,100+ federal rights and benefits we are denied, including the same rights to social security benefits. You said, “federal law should not discriminate in any way against gay and lesbian couples.”

What of those promises, Mr. President?

Your commitment to repeal DOMA has been removed from the White House website. Your promise to repeal "don’t ask, don’t tell" was removed and then replaced with a watered-down version. And in the aftermath of yesterday’s California Supreme Court ruling, you have remained silent while your press secretary summarily dismisses questions about the issue.

We not only need to hear from our President, we need his action. And we need it now.

We need your words, Mr. President. But we also need your deeds. We expect you to fulfill the promises you made to us. As Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. taught us, “Justice too long delayed is justice denied.” Do not delay, Mr. President. The time for action is now.

According to a Pink news article, after the California Supreme Court decision to uphold Prop 8, many people are looking forward to getting a vote on the ballot to repeal it. 700,000 signatures are needed to get the vote on the ballot.

I think it'll be done no problem. There's going to so much support for it.

From iReport, a video showcased a California mayor (I think it's him, sorry if i'm wrong) talking about how he's disappointed with the Supreme Court's decision to uphold Prop 8. He references his daughters, one gay and one straight. The video also shows a lesbian couple who are engaged and saddened by the court decision, but eager to see what happens in the future as they prepare to continue fighting for their rights.

This poll on TIME.com asks a question that has been a major cornerstone in the argument FOR gay marriage, and i was shocked with the results...sort of.

Who should decide whether a state should permit gay marriage? The courts or the people?

Logically, the courts should decide. period. Majority rights should never be left to majority vote. If so, slavery would've taken years more to be made illegal, especially in the South. Enough said.

Surprisingly, the poll results currently show a favor or 61% for the people and 39% to the courts. I can only explain this with one reason: people are responding to the Prop 8 upholding decision. If people think that all courts are going to rule in the anti-gay direction (even though the ruling was technically over about letting voters overturn amendments, not actually whether gay marriage is legal--people took it that way), then it's good that the results show people don't want the courts making the decision. They'd rather make it themselves.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

I decided to look into Focus on the Family today (after hearing that Chick-fil-A regularly makes donations to the organization, and i used to eat there), and i read an article they posted on Sexual Identity. I was stunned at the outright bigotry that they posted. I cannot even believe it! It's so horrible and superficial and bigoted. It's unbelievable to me that someone could be so horrible as to post that in order to make other people feel that way. And everything that was said in a negative connotation was completely one-sided and littered with arguments. Read it just to get mad at the people who wrote, and then give it a 1-star rating.Cause for Concern Article

I have no idea what was going through the California Supreme Court's mind today, but it wasn't good. How could they possibly think that banning gay marriage is constiutional? I would love to hear their arguments. I bet you anything it's some bureaucratic bullshit. Just wait for the backlash? You'll see.

P.S. At least they had enough respect to allow those who'd already gotten married to stay married. Then again, why would they if they thought banning it was ok? How does that make sense?

Everyday, the gay marriage debate gets more and more heated. People are constantly fighting over the issues of it: whether it's a good thing, should we allow it, is it normal, will it be for the best? The battle won't end for quite a while, and it causes a lot of gays stress worrying about it.

But what are we forgetting? What has the current issue of gay marriage legality pushed out of our minds?

I read an ABC article, and it talks about how in Japan, it is still not socially acceptable to be gay. The majority of the population looks down upon it and won't have anything to do with it. Most gay Japanese people go the their whole lives without revealing it themselves, even developing a homophobic self-loathing because of it. There isn't even a good estimation of how many gay people there are in the country because people won't even admit it to an anonymous survey.

It makes me realize how lucky we are. The only people in my life who don't know that I'm gay are my mom and dad, and I'm very lucky to have it that way. Beyond them, I don't care to who knows and I'm happy to tell anyone. I've yet to be discriminated against, and I'm very fortunate because of that. I'm sure when it happens, I may think twice for a bit about telling people, but my life will go on and not be completely horrible afterwards.

Monday, May 25, 2009

I know he's already lost this season of American Idol, but I just wanted to voice my opinion that I love him. I think he's so hot (seriously? seriously) and talented (I watched some vids, so i can actually form an opinion--unlike some people), and I totally think he should've won.

O well.

He's already released his first single ("No Boundaries"--Download it; it's awesome) and I can tell he's gonna be a huge hit if he plays it right. Queen even wants to get him singing for them!

I watched Jesus Camp today at my boyfriend's house, and it honestly scared me to death. I cannot believe that people are actually targeting children like that, indoctrinating them into the Christian faith at such an early age. It's one thing to teach about Christianity, it's another to recruit children into believing in a fairy tale.

One of my favorite parts was when the crazy bitch Evangelical leader (responsible for all of the child recruitment) talked about how much she hated how all of the Islamic extremists were recruiting their children to fight for them, putting grenades in their hands and such. Um...isn't she doing the exact same thing? She may not be shoving a grenade into the kids' hands that she preaches to, but during the one scene when she had all the kids yelling and screaming about the war in America that they're all a part of and that they all need to be ready to fight in it and defend God. How is that any different?

Ugh. Evangelism should be outlawed. Brainwashing children to believe in something that is a fairy tale is completely insane.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

So this entry is all about my personal life, something that doesn't happen very often. Here's your chance to get a little taste of the real Mitch behind his gay blogs.

Tonight after work, my half-brother (Larry, he works with me at a catering agency) confronted me in my car as we were driving home to our parents' (well i guess my parents' and his parent's--since only one of my parents is his--if any of that makes sense) house when he popped the question about my sexuality.

Now, it should be noted that i've been wanting to tell my whole family--mom, dad, bro, and half-bro--for quite a while now. I've only been afraid because of how they might react; none of them have ever shown any sign that they might be ok with gay people (then again, they've never had the reason too). So this question tonight was just perfect for me; not only am I going to be honest to anyone who asks me at this point in my life (i'm going through this whole "love me or hate me" phase where if someone asks me something i'm damn well going to tell them truth. if they don't like it they can leave me the fuck alone and move on), but it means that he's, if nothing else, been thinking about it and comfortable enough with the idea to ask me in an inviting and nonconfrontational kind of way. I, without hesitation, confessed my homosexuality to him, and a bunch of things happened after this--some i won't get into because they are more family issues that need not be discussed here.

First and of foremost importance, he said he was 100% cool with it, which was a huge sigh of relief to me. I've always been afraid that he's a jock athletic type that thinks gays are a bunch of pussies, but apparantly that's not it at all. He has a great respect for gay people who can come out and love who they are; he recognizes that it is not a choice at all (he thinks its completely genetic and from birth--why would someone choose this?). He actually said that he's known about me since "you were eight, before you even knew." This statement prompted me to ask about my family, who've i've also been wanting to come out to. Maybe they've discussed it?

"Don't tell your parents" was the first thing he said on the subject. According to him (and this isn't the first time i've heard this), my parents have thought about it and talked about it with people (mostly him and close friends), but they've never ever liked the idea. My brother has been sure to the point that he's talked about it, not as a possibility, but as fact, and they didn't like that. He said that yes, they're my parents and they'll still love me, but, at least for now, they don't need the stress added to their lives. If its bothering me and i want to tell them, he said to, without a doubt, tell them. I shouldn't keep things bottled up. But, if i'm cool with them not knowing, then it'd be better to just live and let live (which i am cool with). I suggested my idea of the ideal time to tell them (after i graduate college and get a career going and am situated with my life--this way they can't worry about my being gay affecting any other area of my life), and he really liked that idea.

As for my brother, who i want to tell before the summer is out, he said that he's talked with him about it as a fact. My brother has a facebook, so he knows. A friend of mine who is a mother to one of my brother's friends has said she's heard them talking about it, so i know he knows or at least is 99% sure of it. My half-bro said that my lil bro doesn't like it, but Larry is laying the ground work with comments like "you think he wants this trouble? it's something he's living with even more than you have to accept it, and your his brother so you have to support him." Larry is being way more awesome than i took him for.

Basically, my half-bro said that he's here for me 100%, whatever i need, and he expects the same from me. We're brothers, for all intensive purposes, and we should treat other as such. And i intend to.

Friday, May 22, 2009

In California, a sixth-grade girl was banned from giving a presentation about Harvey Milk to her independent progect class. Instead, she would have to present the project during a lunch-recess time after all parents of the students had been notified of the project and sent in a signed form saying it was okay to see the presentation.

The school officials claim that the ban was made because of the school's Family Life/Sex Education policy, which states "(P)arents/guardians shall be notified in writing about any instruction in which human reproductive organs and their functions, processes, or sexually transmitted diseases are described, illustrated, or discussed. In addition, before any instruction on family life, human sexuality, AIDS or sexually transmitted diseases is given, the parent/guardian shall be provided with written notice explaining that the instruction will be given…” Basically the school is full of shit because the presentation has nothing to do with being gay--it's about how Harvey Milk affected society as a homosexual leader.

The American Civil Liberties Union has sent the school a notice saying that they must allow the girl to present the project normally and send her a written apology, or the ACLU will file a lawsuit against them. Yay for progressives!Pink News Article

I was never against little miss Clinton--it was her husband that scared me. But Hillary has shown a new side of herself to me that makes me like her more now. She, as Secretary of State, is giving all partners (gay or straight) of foreign diplomats equal rights and protections from the USA.

This is a very awesome step in the right direction, showing that the US government is in support of its people and those who support it.

How does this headline sound to you? There is a similar one on the site where I found this article, and when i first read it i was shocked. Of course, I'm all for gay rights and such, but I think it is one thing to allow gay marriage and quite another to force churches to accept gay people too.

The whole point of religion and churches is that one believes what one chooses and is not forced to think anything else. By forcing churches to accept gays into their existence is something that is wrong and not ideal. However, that is not what actually happened in this situation.

Churches, synagogues, mosques and others will continue to have the freedom to choose who they employ in jobs which promote their religion. But where they provide services to the public they will have to treat everyone fairly.

This is the actual point of what happened in the UK concerning churches. I think this is completely and ok. If someone wants to help provide a public service, regardless of any human quality, they should be allowed to do so. It's different to force a church to accept a homosexual as a church official, so I'm glad that this is not what happened in this situation.

An artist in North Carolina painted an apple in a community project the colors of the rainbow, and some people aren't taking so kindly to it.

I think it's hilarious how in the video, only one guy is really against the colors on the apple. He's just looking at the camera and smiling, trying so hard to not openly insult the guy who painted it. So hilarious! I think it's great that the guy painted what he wanted to, no matter is intention (which he said was not a gay symbol). Either way, all the publicity is certainly going to boost how much money he gets from the auction of the apple in the future!

This article is so heartwarming. To hear about a mother who is so compassionate and understanding that she accepts her son as a girl is so wonderful.

This child, born a boy, has decided to live life as a girl, and her mother is in complete support of it. This is so wonderful that the child can have that kind of support, especially since she's not going to get it from anywhere else. It truly shows how much parents are learning and willing to accept from their children these days. How inspirational!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Thank god someone is finally standing up to the bull shit school systems in Tennessee. The American Civil Liberties Union is suing both the Nashville and Knox county school systems because they are using internet site-blocking systems that block websites that are LBGT-friendly.

This is not to say that they are blocking pornographic LGBT sites; those sites are covered under the pornographic definition. These sites that are so wrongfully blocked discuss LGBT issues that are essential to making sure people know what the hell is going on in the world of LGTB---aka, they are important and should not be blocked. However, people are idiots and dont care what really matters.

The suit is being held in honor of several high school students who cannot argue in a court of law because they are minors.

So, Pennsylvania supposed to reintroduce a marriage amendment that would make same sex completely illegal, which would totally blow! Let's hope they come to their senses and see what the rest of America is rooting for.HRC article

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

In case you were wondering why i was neglecting my blog for the passed week, it was because i went to Disney World with my bf, Danny. It's my one vacation for the year because I'm in school 11 out of the 12 months of this year, which is very sad. So....may was my open month, so i made a trip out of it.

Fortunately, i have a friend who works for Disney in the logistics department, so not only did danny and i get into the park for free, we also had a place to stay for free. It went from being a $2000-minimum trip to a $0 trip, less the cost of food. Yay!!!

It was such a fun trip for danny and me to take. I feel like we got a lot closer than we already were which is very good.

Anywho, now i'm back and ill start making posts again. Sorry for the break i took if you suffered a bunch.

It's really good to hear how successful gay marriages are in Massachusetts, several years after being legalized. The stories that this article talk about are so heartwarming and dear. To hear about the lives these couples have built, especially those with supportive children, are so inspirational. I truly recommend everyone should read this article.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Rumors are circulating that two lesbians are under consideration for replacing the soon-to-retire Supreme Court Justice, David Souter. This would be a great stride for gay rights nationally, as these women could possibly influence getting more bills passed in gays' favor.

An article in the New York Times brought to light the idea and politics behind Obama finally having to take notice that gay marriage is moving to the fore front of politics right now. With all these states making gay marriage, it is going to Obama's desk, and he's going to have to make several decisions. Having already forgotten about repealing the Don't Ask, Don't Tell military policy, he'll have to bring that back up. He may also end up taking us up on his word to repeal the Defense of Marriage act set in place in '96, which would be a huge step forward! Yay for progress!

Several members of the Westboro Baptist Church, including spokesperson Fred Phelps, have been banned from entering the United Kingdom. The ban comes from the Home Office Senator Jacqui Smith, saying they're on the list for "seeking to provoke others to serious criminal acts and fostering hatred which might lead to inter-community violence."

It's about to someone with power started to put these idiots in their place. Some of the members plan to sue over the act, not understanding why they've been named on a list that also includes the names of terrorists.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

The National Organization for Marriage released yet another stupid commercial ad calling people to support their ignoramus cause. This time they used Carrie Prejean and recent 15 minutes of fame against Perez Hilton to pull votes in for their cause. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your stance) their efforts vastly fail.

Their new ad campaign line though, is quite interesting. And yet, easy to shutdown. They are claiming that any organization, company, church group, or business that would be against gay marriage or gay people's rights would in effect be shutdown, and that this is completely unfair.

But, if we pause and think, why would these businesses be shut down? Not because some government force would swoop in and deem them unconstitutional or some bull like that, no, the general population (comprised of gay people) would simply not take their business there anymore. That's common marketplace tactics. If people think you're racist/bigoted/close-minded asshole, they're not gonna shop at your place of business. Sorry if people care about their integrity.

Then some idiot decides to get on national television and have this stupid idea of businesses needing protection from being shutdown completly torn to pieces by this brilliant newscaster. O i love the world we're slowly moving into.

Friday, May 1, 2009

I'm sorry, i just have to bitch for a quick second. I really hate it when people say, "God says gay marriage is wrong. Therefore, you can't do it."

IT MAKES ME SO F#*&^% ANGRY!

Why do they think they have any right to tell me what to do? Marriage is NOT a christian institution. I don't know whether it started out that way or not, but today tons of people that aren't christian are allowed to marry. Why can't gay people then? There is no argument against gay marriage that is legitimately based in fact. None.

Gay people do NOT raise gay children. Otherwise, there wouldn't be any gay people to begin with.Gay people do NOT force their lifestyles upon you. I don't want to hang out with someone who hates me.Gay people do NOT want special rights. You can get married. I can't. I want what you already have.Gay people do NOT recruit straight people. Did you choose to be straight? No you didn't. Nor did i choose to be gay.Gay people do NOT want you to deny your God. You believe in God? Good for you. I don't. What's the big deal?Gay people do NOT want you to like them. I don't know you. I probably wouldn't like you. You don't have to like me either.

We are NOT out to get you. We just want equal rights for equal people. What I choose to do in my spare time with whom i choose is none of your business. Just let me do what i want, and ill let you do the exact same thing.

An interesting study conducted by ABC news/Washington post. By phone, over 1000+ people were randomly called and surveyed on their opinions on gay marriage, and for the first time, more supported than opposed! How exciting is that?

Due to Miley's recent Tweets to Perez Hilton about how much in support of gay marriage she is, the AFA (American Family Association) is calling of its members to boycott Hannah Montana and stand up against Miley because they believe she is sending completely the wrong message to all of her devoted fans and "clearly does not understand the Bible."

In Orange County, California, Corono Del Mar high school students put on a production of Rent. Opening night, the Westboro Church of Idiots showed up to protest the play, and guess what happened? Against the 5-10 people that showed to protest in hate, a whole community of 300+ people showed up to protest for the play. What a grand display of the support of people being able to do what they want.

The Iowa Family Policy Center released a video about a married couple whose son died of a cancer caused by HIV, saying that their son claimed homosexuality was only a cult and that the people involved were all unhappy and miserable. The family is against gay marriage because of their son's tragic death and life in homosexuality.

It really makes me so mad that these people think it's all a choice, like we want to make ourselves miserable by being gay. For one, being gay isn't miserable. What's miserable is seeing all these people hate you and look down upon you for what makes you who you are. It is truly tragic that this man had to die because of HIV; no one should have to endure that. But taking his death and angry claims against something he had no choice against is just ignorant and wrong.

During the proceedings for the passing of the Hate Crimes Bill in the House, one woman stood up with a rather ignorant voice against the bill. Virginia Foxx of North Carolina decided that the whole issue was really over a murder committed during a robbery, and not about a boy who killed because he was gay. What an idiot!

Matthew Shepard's mom was deeply offended by this.

Foxx went back on record as saying that she had a poor word choice, but not apoligizing for her idiotic comments. What a bitch!