Oh! and a tip! Pumping does suck, and one of the anxieties I faced about it was the constant "am I getting enough?" I started pumping with my second when my milk came in. Normally folks tell you not to pump and let yourself regulate, or pump just enough to relieve the pressure. I just pumped and pumped and pumped instead. I ended up producing 30oz more than he needed each day! It was insane, but it was nice because within 2 weeks we had over 100oz stored in the freezer for a 'rainy day', and I had some awesome looking boobs But in all seriousness, it took some of the pressure off of me and lifted my anxieties.

I sincerely hope this is a better experience for you. If you can muster the courage to talk to someone, preferably before the baby is born I encourage it. I had some PPD with my first and would find myself feeling mildly resentful towards this totally beautiful child every time she cried to be fed. You're right -- its a horrible feeling at the end of the day and I can't imagine what it is like for you if it was that bad for me. Pumping was a bit more freeing for me because I could do other things (hands free bra!), and I could have some "me" time... kind of.

I hope and pray this is a much better and more peaceful experience for you

If it weren't for my Ameda Elite rental my son would have been formula fed for the past 8 months. Instead he has been fed nothing but fresh (never frozen or refridgerated) breast milk AND I've been able to build up a sizeable freezer stash which will likely end up donated or trashed. If I have to choose between principle (the plastibell thing doesn't bother me, although the issues with Medela's pumps do) and formula, I'm violating my principles.

13 years ago I had a preemie who was unable to BF and I was unable to maintain my milk supply. The Nestle boycott was huge, yet I fed my daughter Carnation Good Start anyway as it was the only milk based formula she could digest and lactose is important for brain development. I chose my child's dietary needs over my objections to Nestle's formula practices in other countries.

though Ameda is now owned by Evenflo, that would not bother me about the plastibell issue. I have an Ameda PY and i got it for free from WIC in 07...i'm now using it heavily for woth, so i hope it doesn't poop out on me. If it does i'd be tempted to get its purple cousin made by lansinoh, since its under $130 and i like my pump.

I started pumping with my second when my milk came in. Normally folks tell you not to pump and let yourself regulate, or pump just enough to relieve the pressure. I just pumped and pumped and pumped instead. I ended up producing 30oz more than he needed each day! It was insane, but it was nice because within 2 weeks we had over 100oz stored in the freezer for a 'rainy day', and I had some awesome looking boobs But in all seriousness, it took some of the pressure off of me and lifted my anxieties.

ITA.

I hate to agree out loud I've never been engorged to where it was painful or I got mastitis or something bad happened. (I've been engorged after a canoeing trip or other trips out. I just hand express in a fast food cup... bring your pump when you are away from baby. duh.)
I hear it all the time to NEVER start pumping until 3 months or some other arbitrary number.
I call horse hockey.
I started pumping at about 3 weeks (when I got my brains together after the birth ) then heard this rec, so I stopped pumping until I went back to work.

Bad idea.
From that point on my supply just started getting lower, and lower. At first I didn't really notice. First, I just wasn't putting as much into the freezer stash, then I was putting nothing, then I started dipping into it then the stash was gone, DS was only about 10m and we had to start using a few ounces of goat milk a day. Not having milk + DH's comments about "we can get formula free from WIC" = mega stress. My DH isn't the most supportive of BFing. He thinks it's great, and cheap, but he's not going to go out of his way. If he had the boobs, the first pebble in the road we would have switched to formula

I think I am going to go with the Lansinoh or the "purple cousin or sister or whatever" of the Ameda. If that motor goes out on me half way through, oh well, since they don't cost that much. Thanks for all the help everyone. With the state of my emotional and mental health, this is what is best for our family. And usually I don't use that phrase because I think it's thrown around a lot to justify not so good or lazy parenting choices. This way my child can still get breastmilk and not have me yelling at them or angry at them because they need to eat. My poor DD had to be on the receiving end of that for 15 months and I just really do not want to put myself or my family through that again.