Tag: overthinking

Yesterday after work I went out with a friend/co-worker to Lenox Mall. It was fun. I had some higher expectations of Lenox Mall to be honest, but I also went when it was almost closing hour, so maybe I didn’t get the full experience. I did get this nice pair of pants at Loft for $21 though; I feel like I am awesome for getting such sweet deals. Percentage off times percentage off, brought the price down by like $45. I’m reveling in my shopaholic sweet deals success, hohoho! So, it’s Saturday morning, and you’d think maybe I’d feel pretty amazing after a successful deal like that, but I don’t.
I had a goal to apply for one job last night, I didn’t. It’s been about a week since I said I would start applying to jobs, and I did not do even one application yet. Sure, life happens, you work 9-5, you’ve gotta go home and figure out what to eat, etc etc, but it’s excuses. I found time to watch Netflix and go shopping, why couldn’t I find time to apply for a job?

Anyways, so I get up to have breakfast and figure out how I’m going to be productive for the day. I get downstairs, and see that there are two soups that have been left out overnight, and a new plate of tomato eggs. Why were the soups left out? What the heck, kitchen rules 101, right?! Well, whatever. It’s pretty common to have 98% of the kitchen rules 101 broken. So I eat some tomato eggs, and listen to the wind and watch the sunshine. It’s really great weather recently. Upper 70s with some breeze almost the entire week, today is no exception. As I’m rinsing my bowl post-breakfast, I see through the half-opened slats of the window blinds that the dead leaves rustling around in a circle, because the wind is doing that strange yet common thing where it creates a verrrryy miniature and momentary tornado on the ground. It’s cool. I watch the leaves scurry around, and the moment comes where I’m hit by the question of how well do I even know my friends? I was thinking in particular of one person at that moment, but really it relates to all the people I call my friends.The one friend in particular I was thinking about has been friends with me since 2008 or 2009? It’s been nearly 10 years at this point, but really I do not know who this guy is. What is his favorite food, what are his dreams in more than just one or two over-generalized sentences, what is his guilty ‘sin’, who are his best friends and closest friends? I feel like these are pretty general to know about friends. Favorite food maybe not, because honestly, all my friends love food and we can’t really choose just one, but the rest are things I think should be known as a friend. I know all the answers for some people, maybe half the answers for others, and perhaps none for still some others. It felt a little lonely when I realized I’ve stranded myself from others. I’m an over-thinker though, so maybe I’m just working myself up in the moment.

Well, that’s it really. It’s a freshly baked idea, because literally I was forming these ideas in my mind 30 minutes or less ago, and now it’s all cracked and spilled out here. It feels like a bit like a diary entry, haha; welcome to my heart.

Extra note: A lawn service guy rang the doorbell, and I think he thought I was in high school. The humor in this is just the thing to bring me out of this “Oh, I’m so lonesome” over thinking process. Good day to you all.