Contemporary scientific theories tell us
that what we may see as vacuum is only vacuum on average, and actually
thriving with vast amounts of particles and antiparticles constantly
appearing and then annihilating each other. It also suggests that the
volume of space enclosed by a light bulb contains enough vacuum energy
to boil every ocean in the world. Therefore, vacuum energy could prove
to be the most abundant energy source of any kind. Which is where you
come in. All you need to do is figure out how to extract this energy
and harness it in some kind of power plant - this can easily be done
without arousing too much suspicion - then surreptitiously allow the
reaction to run out of control. The resulting release of energy would
easily be enough to annihilate all of planet Earth and probably the
Sun too.

ENGINEERS

An
electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft software
engineer are driving together. Suddenly, the car just stops by the
side of the road.
The electrical engineer says,
"It's probably the car's internal electronics. We should check all the
wiring and maybe we can trace where a fault might have occurred."
The chemical engineer says,
"Maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and it's getting blocked
somewhere."
The Microsoft software engineer says, "If
we close all the windows, get out, get back in, then open the windows
again, maybe it'll work!"

OYSTER SHUCKING

A Swede won the world
oyster-opening championship in September after he
shucked a shellfish every five seconds with a
minimum of blood and grit.
Restaurateur Hasse Johannesson opened 30 oysters
in 2 minutes 41 seconds to scoop the coveted
award, ahead of
Canada's Eamon Clarke by 13 seconds."Now I need a cigarette," said Johannesson as he celebrated his first
world title after competing for the fourth time.
"The secret is not just
good timing but in the clean presentation as if
you would serve it in a restaurant," he
told Reuters.
Damage to the oyster's flesh, failure to detach it
from the shell, grit or traces of human blood mean
penalties for the knife-wielding competitors who
have come from 16 other countries including
Thailand, the United States and
Estonia.

RECIPE

NETTLE
SOUP

Gather a bunch of nettle
plants early in the spring
Cook a long time to destroy the sting
Strain through a colander and just add milk
Add a little chicken whiskey smooth as silk
Thicken it with flour and a couple egg yokes
It's a simple kind of food for some simple kind of
folks
From
Gourmet Style Road Kill Cooking
by Jeff Eberbaugh

APPENDIX

In plant-eating vertebrates, the appendix is much
larger and its main function is to help digest a
largely herbivorous diet. The human appendix is a
small pouch attached to the large intestine where
it joins the small intestine and does not directly
assist digestion. Biologists believe it is a
vestigial organ left behind from a plant-eating
ancestor. Interestingly, it has been noted by
paleontologist Alfred Sherwood Romer in his text
The Vertebrate Body (1949) that the major
importance of the appendix "would appear to be
financial support of the surgical profession,"
referring to, of course, the large number of
appendectomies performed annually. In 2000, in
fact, there were nearly 300,000 appendectomies
performed in the United States, and 371 deaths
from appendicitis. Any secondary function that the
appendix might perform certainly is not missed in
those who had it removed before it might have
ruptured.