One Day, Not Drinking Will Be Normal To You

I was recently overwhelmed with gratitude as I was sitting among the many parents, watching and listening to my daughter during the strings orchestra recital. Tears started flowing, and a smile filled my face as I finally found her in the crowd on the stage! How is it, that I am sitting right here, right now?

Then, last night, I was sitting at the kitchen table, putting patches on my daughter’s Girl Scout vest, with great care, making sure that they were evenly spaced and in the correct places on the vest, according to the chart. Then, I had that weird feeling come over me again… Oh good grief, who am I? What’s happened to me? Is this really me? Wow!

I had to giggle a bit, because it felt so very surreal. I started having flashbacks of the hospitals, the detoxes, the jail, the mental hospital, and the many floors that I woke-up on after being in a blackout, and the years struggling to put down the drink! Looking at me now, you would have never believe that I was that person, not that long ago!

You see, if you knew me back in my early drinking days, this would not make any sense to you either, because back then, I was a party girl, and children, let alone three of them, most definitely were not part of that equation. However, clubs, bars and concerts absolutely were, as well as anything that involved drinking. I considered myself the life of the party and I was the “fly by the seat of your pants” kind of girl. I often just took off somewhere just to go to a party, and it didn’t matter how far. I even drove three hours, on a Friday night, to see a band play, by myself of course, because no one could hang with me! I could out drink and out last anyone! (The truth was that I didn’t want anyone I knew to be a witness to my drunk and stupor.)

Photo by bruce mars on Pexels.com

Then, in my later drinking days, I was quite the opposite! Not wanting to make an ass of myself anymore, and after pissing off, and alienating many people, I stayed at home. Me, myself, and the bottle, or rather bottles, well actually boxes. I would spend my days sitting on the couch, in some raggedy sweats, staring at the TV, and passing out whenever convenient. My days were irrelevant, and continued without any purpose or direction other than to drink. I did not have a job to go to, or friends to visit, in fact, I did not have anywhere to be and nothing to do. I was depressed, lonely and angry. I hated me, and I hated you, and, I hated it all.

If you knew me back then, you would probably notice that now, I no longer have the dark circle under my eyes, and my skin is not a pale shade of gray. You would notice that I smile often, and I am happy! You would not be able to comprehend that I used to sit in a dark room, by myself, and drink into an oblivion, night after night.

If you knew me then, you would have a hard time believing that me, the wild party girl, now has held one job for 4+ years. You would be amazed that I now have a car that is registered and legal, and that I have a driver’s license and that I actually take the bus and the train to work because it is more convenient, and not because it is necessary!

If you know me then, you would have a hard time believing that now I live in a house in the suburbs, and plants flowers, and a huge vegetable garden. You would be amazed by the amounts of cookies and cupcakes that I bake for my kid’s school events. You would be surprised to see me sitting at the kitchen table putting patches on my daughter’s girl scouts vest! Is this really me? Wow, it is!

Photo by bruce mars on Pexels.com

It is still hard to believe that I am sober today, and that this is my life now! I seriously have to pinch myself often just to make sure! I would have never dared to dream of this, even though in reality, this is the life I have always wanted, and I am only living it today because I am sober!

Believe me, one day this will happen to you too! One day you will stop rationalizing your drinking, and wondering if you have a problem or not. One day you will stop craving it all the time, and one day you will stop missing it at every event. One day not drinking will be normal to you, instead of the other way around. And one day it will just happen, and you won’t really know it, until something triggers it, and then you’re going to be thinking, “I haven’t thought about drinking today, as matter of fact, I don’t know when I last thought about drinking!”

One day, you will notice that the life that you have been waiting for, and that seemed so very distant in the future, is right here, right now, in front of you!

This will happen to you too, just keep sober and don’t give up before the miracle happens!

If you, or anyone you know, is struggling with alcohol addiction, please click the Find Support link for an extensive list of support groups.

You may also find some great inspiration and support from all the awesome sober bloggers listed in the sidebar under POSTS I LIKE and RECOVERY BLOGGERS, as well as Sober Courage page on Facebook and Sober Courage on Twitter.

Like this:

LikeLoading...

Related

Published by Magz

Welcome to the Sober Courage blog!
My name is Magz, and I am in recovery from Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD). I have created this blog to support sobriety and recovery at any stage of your journey. So, if you are in long-term recovery, or just starting out, or even still contemplating, welcome! Please stay a while, read lots, drop a comment, or two, and get inspired! Come join me on The Journey From Liquid Courage to Sober Courage, one day at a time!
Please visit the blog at https://sobercourage.com.
View all posts by Magz

Yeah, I too loved this. What a journey you’ve been on, Maggie, and what an absolute inspiration you are to so many. I am so blessed to have crossed paths with you, and am just blown away at how much we can change…quite amazing.

Hi Maggie, I love this post, your reap the harvest of the fields you sow. It’s awesome, this is a beautiful post. I too am amazed sometimes that I am even alive. At this point I have been sober for 16 years longer than I was drinking. I have good days and better days now, before sobriety I only had DRUNK days, I thought they were good until one day they were horrible and ugly.
This is really beautiful:
“You would be amazed by the amounts of cookies and cupcakes that I bake for my kid’s school events. And you would be surprised to see me sitting at the kitchen table putting patches on my daughter’s girl scouts vest!”

Keep up the good work, you’re an inspiration to many, people you don’t even know yet.
Peace,
Nelson

Thank you for the kind words Nelson! This is so true, when. I was drinking I only had drunk days! I have to remember how it was and stay really grateful of how it is now, because I never want to go back!

Maggie, I almost went back out 4 months ago. I stopped going to meetings about 4 years ago because I just (I really don’t know why) stopped going to meetings and being active. In January AI did a 90 in 90 and I feel as if I am getting my life back. I have a 10 year old son that depends on me to run him around to all of his sports and events. If I were drunk there is no way I could be there for him.
Believe me there are many times I want to drink and become inebriated but I just have to give up too much sober time. I guess what ever keeps us from the bottle works. I never want to go back too but that’s because I don’t know if I have another recovery in me. <ost of the people I know that went out that had 10 years or more never came back to the rooms. either they died from car accidents and injured some innocent people or they just died of cirrhosis or some other alcohol poison related illnesses.
Peace,
Nelson

Thank you for this great comment Nelson! I am so glad that you are back. It’s true for me too, I might have another drunk in me but I don’t know if I have another recovery. And that’s scary. I think this healthy fear keeps me sober, one day at a time! I have to stay diligent with my recovery, my disease doesn’t go away, so I believe that I am always recovering, and that’s ok. 🙂

This was so great to read! It’s very inspiring and reassuring. The suddenly realising you can’t remember when you last thought of drinking seems so far away right now, but I know I can get there some day. It was the same when I quit smoking, I thought about it all the time, especially in the times I would habitually have a cigarette (morning coffee, that was so hard to get past), but one day it stopped. Actually, it’s great, I’m thinking about all the morning coffees I’ve had since when I’ve not even thought about smoking and I know I can get there with evenings and drinking. Thank you for the inspiration. Knowing what you’ve gone through to get where you are, makes my own struggle seem like it will be manageable. 🙂

Thank you! This is such a nice comment. I think this applies to many changes we want to make. When I started eating less and healthier all I could think about was food! Lol! But then it just become normal! Congrats on quitting smoking! That’s huge too, and I totally get the coffee and smoking thing, I am still yet to quit myself, although I have cut down a lot. But that’s next on my list. 🙂 Thank you for the inspiration that I could have coffee without a smoke, because I am not sure that I can ever give up coffee! Lol!

One day you will stop rationalizing your drinking, and wondering if you have a problem or not. One day you will stop craving it all the time, and one day you will stop missing it at every event. One day not drinking will be normal to you, instead of the other way around. And one day it will just happen, and you won’t really know it, until something triggers it, and then you’re going to be thinking, “I haven’t thought about drinking today, as matter of fact, I don’t know when I last thought about drinking!”