Friday, July 03, 2015

Floridiots and Alligators...always an amusing combination

So down Florida way, Mike Karris and his fiancee, Rae Wilkerson, went to the St. Marks Wildlife Refuge, apparently unclear as to what might actually live in a wildlife refuge in Florida. They brought their 11 year old Dachshund named Cody, aka "Box Lunch" with them, and they thought that it would be a good idea to let Cody run around off the leash in this wildlife refuge. By the water. In Forida.

Now Ray Charles could have seen that coming, but these two were shocked and surprised, and even mad at the wildlife refuge and it's staff for "letting" an alligator be around people and tasty little dogs.

Karris, an executive at a consulting firm, estimated that the predator must have crossed 10 feet of grass and gravel before reaching the boat ramp, grabbing the helpless dog and dragging it away in its maw.

The dog owner has acknowledged that it was his and Wilkerson's responsibility to keep Cody tied up, as park rules dictate, but he argued that it was not a good idea for the wildlife refuge to keep around an alligator that was that aggressive.

Hello? Wildlife refuge. Alligators are wildlife, last I checked. Little weiner dogs? Not so much. And leash laws like the ones in place at this wildlife refuge? Obviously those are for other people, not entitled liberal types like Karris and Wilkerson. Not sure what sort of business pays this guy to "consult" but they can't be getting their money's worth. He's clearly an idiot.

At least the refuge manager isn't bending over to kiss this fool's ass.

St Marks manager Terry Peacock noted that the park has removed alligators that were aggressive towards people in the past, but said that the reptile that ate Cody had never posed a safety risk before.

‘I can't punish an alligator for being an alligator,’ Peacock said. ‘That's just an alligator being its normal self.’

So what did Karris and Wilkerson do about this? Well for starters, they began calling news stations, trying to get their story printed. And they made sure to include plenty of cheery selfies, because, after all, this is really about them, and not Cody or hungry gators.

"Our dog got eaten because we were careless. So this is us, having a nice Jeep ride."

(You just know that Jeep has an Obama sticker on it somewhere...you just know it.)

It scares me that these two are actually getting married. Next thing you know, they'll start having kids. Let's hope that they do better with those than they did with that dog.

I simply cannot wrap my head around the notion that little Cody would enjoy a wildlife refuge. Shoot -- I used to be leery of the crows and hawks in our NOLA neighborhood when our shihtzu Rosie was in our own yard.

Sometimes I wish the societal breakdown would come on and get here, so all these people would die. The world would be a better place, even if I have to live off rabbits and squirrels. I know this is evil and unprogressive of me, but what can I say.