Post by Sora Shiryoku on Apr 6, 2016 14:37:44 GMT -5

Height & Weight: Kirito weighs in at a surprisingly heavy 165 pounds, considering he is 5 feet and 11 inches in height.

Hair & Eyes: Kirito, though when he was younger had dark black hair, as well as brown eyes, has had his facial features completely altered after gaining access to his zanpakuto. His hair, after being exposed to the electromagnetic fields produced by his Zanpakuto, turned a light sky blue. The same actually occurred with his eyes, causing them to change into a turquoise color after being exposed to this lightning infused reiatsu. Some say that this causes his eyes to appear as if they long for something more than what they have, a perfect rendition of Kirito's personality. He wouldn't show it to any old person, but inside he really does long for something more. The thing is, he really doesn't know what that ,"more", is. Due to this change in color on multiple parts of his body, Kirito's general look is far from something even somewhat similar to any other shinigami. Kirito also happens to be actually PROTECTIVE of his hair. Despite his cleanliness in all places EXCEPT it, he still treasures his hair, as he feels it is an extension of his personality, as it is rather flowing. He feels his hair is more free in life than he is, and hence when the static electricity produced by his zanpakuto touches him, he hates it as his hair stands up on end and becomes rigid. Unlike almost everybody he knows of, Kirito's shikai did actual affect his physical appearance after simply being achieved, rather permanently. He doesn't know the reason, and honestly, could care less, because blue is his favorite color.

Physical Description: Kirito has a light voice, almost prepubescent sounding. Whenever a word leaves his mouth, it sounds like it doesn't even have to touch the air to travel to somebody's ear. This represents Kirito's quiet demeanor perfectly. He wears his black jacket and pants all the time underneath a normal shihakusho. Though this gets him hot, he doesn't mind, as he is in battle so often that he'll be sweating no matter what he wears. This doesn't stop him from taking his shihakusho off during a tough battle though. Due to compulsive washing, his clothes never have a chance to get dirty. Also caused by this is a smell of soap which appears to emit from him. He uses lavender flavored wash fluid, so he smells somewhat like said plant. Oddly enough, Kirito is reluctant to wash his hair, as he is worried that due to it's (actually non-existent) electric nature, he could shock himself in the shower. Obviously, he wouldn't actually shock himself, but due to Kirito's naturally eccentric and worrisome tendencies when discussing himself, he avoids doing anything that even a superstitious person would do. To keep the smell down, he manages to take them however, overcoming this rather comedic fear. His skin is a bright white, a color he dislikes, as to why he wears the black jacket. He thinks that if the sun attracts itself to him, he will become tanned. His build is not broad, leaving him with rather compact shoulders. This body type lets him effectively move, yet doesn't stump him from striking with a massive amount of power. This tendency to move around a lot and use his body type to his own advantage by no means makes him a weak man, however. Judging this book by its cover will only get you killed. He has a very calm demeanor, one you wouldn't expect from somebody of his age; somebody who if he was still alive, would probably be in the midst of getting drunk at some fraternity party. This is something which allows him to slip into crowds easily, as he makes no extremely jerky and awkward movements. They simply don't fit him. Despite his small and rather scrawny build, Kirito does have rather wide shoulders. as well as a long neck. His nose and general facial features aren't highly distinctive, and few people really pay attention to anything but his lightly curved lips, which hold a color actually similar to that of his skin. He wears no jewelry, and has no visual implements to speak of either, making his total physical appearance very, very... odd. Most describe him as "almost normal". For example, the skin, eyes, and face are nothing to mention, but his hair and choice of casual clothing when not on duty makes him seem highly out of place in the soul society.

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Spiritual Description: Kirito has turquoise colored reiatsu, signifying his obsession with the winds and lightning. He sees them as the freest of the elements, the search of freedom being one of his few obsessions. It is also because of this, than when viewed with spirit perception, it appears as if the reiatsu forms wings of lightning behind his body. Of course, this is purely cosmetic. His reiatsu smells like singed hairs, and when released, sounds like a loud buzzing. Almost like that of an electrical generator. It tastes like fresh air, except almost as if you were near the sea, while it was raining. This is also related to Kirito's unique personality. Kirito actually believes his infatuation with freedom causes his Reiatsu to act upon its own, forming into things of uncontrollable nature, despite the fact that this is completely unrelated to the personality he holds. Coincidence can be a funny thing.

In battle, Kirito's reiatsu maintains these features, but feels sharp and menacing, unlike its usual calm static feeling. When released into an aura around him, it takes a smooth texture, surrounding him like an oval.

Behind The Eyes__

Personality: Kirito is a man obsessed with freedom. This is an obsession fueled by his life history, as after he died, Kirito vowed to close himself off to people from the outside. To compensate for this social seclusion, he decided to seek freedom physically and spiritually. Of course, since then his vow has faltered once or twice, but his infatuation remains strong. Despite his young age for a shinigami, he has been all over the human world, as well as the Soul Society. His infatuation with lightning has led him to have a fast acting and very Go-with the flow personality. He feels that if somebody is to move, it shouldn't be forced. It should be where their body feels like going. Yet, due to his other infatuation with wind, he believes that due to the randomness of life, one should never should be focused on a single place. To live properly to him is to be everywhere as much as possible. It is because of this he has his unique spiritual energy. His personality is so powerful, it governs his very being. His goal in life is to life as free as a mortal being can, as he believes all people are given a false sense of freedom. The ability to move where they chose, live where they want. Yet, this is all an illusion to him. He thinks that if something happens, chances are if you didn't do it, somebody else would eventually. The one thing more important to him than his life goal are is relationships with his few friends. He has few because of his hard to approach personality, but the ones he does have are as close as they could be. Sadly, as his personality gives him a one way-or another life view, he is very judgmental. He believes that as a smart individual, those who do not follow his beliefs are wrong in most everything they do. He can be very blunt, brutal, and also rather arrogant about his general smarts and this has screwed him over on many an occasion. Many link his reiatsu to his personality, but to this, Kirito laughs. It is actually just a coincidence that he loves the two elements his zanpakuto uses. When you're a friend of Kirito, he'll be there for you. You see, Kirito himself hates the idea of anybody he loves being hurt, and he actually fights only to gain the power to protect those he call friends. As his emotions go, Kirito is a straight male, he experiences happiness and laughter like other people, though less frequently, and can also feel sad. Finally, we have Kirito's greatest fear, and greatest love. Women. He gets nervous, loses composure, and begins to freak out around most girls. If he finds them attractive, that is. Just kidding. Kirito values personality in his women. If they happen to be insecure, he can become their security. If he's feeling insecure, they can become his security. He looks for nothing more than somebody who he can find home in, who can accept his faults and look past them to see who he really is.

Positive Qualities:Major Traits:-Instinctual Carelessness Kirito can act on a moment's notice through pure instinct, and though a "bad" by conventional standards student, has an IQ of 149. During school, he failed tests simply because he couldn't be bothered to try something he already knew.]-Caring and EmpatheticThis is specific to his close friends. Kirito, though normally rather cold and somewhat of an asshole, is very loyal and understanding to those he treasures.-Sadistically funnyKirito has a rather sadist sense of humor. To many, this could be seen as a disadvantage, as it makes people uncomfortable at times. In Kirito's head, that's what he wants to achieve with it.-EccentricKirito is seen by most as somewhat crazy, while also being recognized for an odd intelligence. To some, like the above trait, this could make them uncomfortable. Once again, like the above trait, Kirito likes it that way. These traits are his layers of defense; If you like him after seeing both of them, he lets you into his head.

Negative Qualities:Major Traits:-ArrogantKirito is so arrogant, he challenged an expert in hand to hand combat for a seated position he didn't know the details about. Point and center is, he's cocky.-Brutal and BluntIf you're looking for somebody to be honest with you, he's the guy. That's all he ever does, though. Kirito wont lie to you even if it may be better for your emotional state, and hence, he is extremely to the point.-Disrespectful, hating, and infuriated easily by those who oppose his beliefsI've already explained this, but... please. Don't do anything that may oppose Kirito's belief in freedom as an ultimate state; He'll fuck you up.-Combat LovingKirito, like many members of the fifth, loves fighting. It gives him a rush of fun in an otherwise boring world.

Mental Notes:

-Kirito has developed rather severe ADD over time. Though not related at all, his infatuation with freedom is something people joke about having caused it. As he finds it hard to focus on serious topics, his mind tends to free itself into random erratic, deep thoughts.

-Kirito feels little to no remorse if he kills somebody who he felt deserved it

Alignment:

Kirito is a person who identifies as Chaotic Good. He will do things upon instinct, and like a vigilante, will follow his own beliefs and do what HE believes is right, whether the law agrees with it or not. His friends are people he will protect no matter what, even if the face of danger and demise looms over him. It is for this reason he has been regularly reprimanded for disobeying a mission's orders as to save or remove a friend from harms way. This is something which displeases his superiors, and on more than few occasions, has gotten him into trouble. If the law got in the way of him saving the life of one of his closest friends, Kirito would, though somewhat begrudgingly, break it to save his friend's life.

Strength Of The World__

Zanpakutō Spirit and Inner World : Kirito's Zanpakuto is named Kiri-Hana (rain flower), and lives in a world in which it constantly rains, with endless space to roam in forever. The landscape is that of a grassy plateau, with a pond in the exact center. Kiri-Hana is usually at the center of this pond, balancing on the liquid beneath her feet as if it is solid ground. The funny thing is, Kiri-Hana never seems to get wet from any of the water in her world, always maintaining a smile as she endures the endless world of rain inside of Kirito. The only time it stops raining is when Kirito, while under the effects of meditation, enters his own inner world to converse with her. This is because Hana is happy when he is in there, and her emotions govern the realm's weather. Kiri-Hana is a female human type of spirit. She is rather kind, encouraging Kirito as a friend and not merely a partner in battle. One could even say she was Kirito's closest friend. Kiri-Hana's spirit looks like a white female, with green eyes, blond hair, and a school uniform. She is a being who has actual feelings for her Shinigami partner, and though not romantic, cause the two to not see each other as fighting partners, but as close and tightly wound friends.. The bond they share is something that nobody can break , something pure and beyond the reach of any evil force. Even though Kirito can be strict or even get mad at Hana, (as he calls her), he still remains on good terms, because they really are two people, or in this case, one person, who really, really, work well together. The bond we have discussed simply can't be shattered, as it isn't formed out of need. It is one created from desire. A desire for friendship, a desire for companionship, and above all, a desire for comfort.

Zanpakutō : Kirito's Zanpakuto is very uniquely shaped. In sealed release form, the blade takes the form of a thin rapier, with an (in relative to the blade type) oversized crossguard. The blade in this form is better used for whip like strikes, or for blisteringly quick stabbing assaults. After released into shikai, Kiri-Hana glows blue, and morphs into a single edged katana, which can be wielded with one or two hands. A static aura surrounds the blade after it has been released, caused by the electromagnetic field surrounding it and the lightning energy stored inside of it. Below is a picture of the Shikai form of the blade. A unique feature of the blade that many people notice is its distinct coloring. This coloring is actually a reflection of Kirito's reiatsu's natural color. The blue on the blade represents Lightning, and as there is a majority of blue controlling the color of the blade, it can be said that Kirito does indeed favor lightning over the other element present. The other element represented is wind, giving a green hue to parts of the blade.

Release Phrase:

Initial Release: Blossom into a beautiful thunderclap, Kiri-Hana!

Looks Post-Release: After releasing Kiri-Hana, Kirito's jacket changes color due to the paint being effected by the lightning energy released from the blade. It becomes a light-blue mixed with a hint of black and slowly, the black will fade as the blue engulfs it. After returning to normal, the energy will retract itself. Kirito's hair also begins to stand on end as the static aura created by his blade surrounds him, giving it an almost surreal feel. Kirito also becomes much more irritable yet insensitive, as well as rather easily excited. This contrasts heavily with his usually reserved profile and personality. Though rare for a shinigami's look to change after a mere shikai release, Kirito is one of the few in which this change did occur.

Abilities Of Kiri-Hana:Kiri-Hana's abilities all stem from (in Kirito's mind) the domain of the gods. The sky. Each of the elements he can command originate in the sky, far above the mortal world where people go about their lives. To Kirito, it is the most free, open, and godly place in the human world, as well as the soul society, as it is open, expansive, and contains the most powerful forces of nature. The Zanpakuto he wields, Kiri-Hana, can access each of these elements for simple uses, the elements being Electricity and Wind. Because of this, it's powers are relatively simple. Kiri-Hana can release lightning, wind and electromagnetic fields through three basic forms:

Nagashi (Current)- To affect areas around the user, and not a specific enemy. This is a burst of electricity centered around the user, which expands outwards. Kirito can also use this to simply channel lightning through the blade, causing any metal touching it to conduct the lightning. This would shock an opponent who was holding a zanpakuto made of metal touching Kirito's blade. This can be however, insulated against through and normal electrical insulation technique.

Kyouka (Enhancement)- The lightning and electromagnetic field can be manipulated to effect the blade's utility itself, or increase Kirito's combat prowess in different ways. This Includes the sharpening of the blade, or elongating it through an extension made of lightning. These enhancements improve cutting power and gain an element of lightning to their attacks.

Burasuto (Blast)- Kirito will release targeted blasts, waves, or bolts of lightning at an enemy. He can also use this to release currents of wind. This is the simplest, most raw destructive form of Kirito's zanpakuto abilities.

These abilities are versatile, and can be used on different levels depending on the situation. However, consequently, as the blade is able to affect only rather small to somewhat medium areas being only a Shikai state, Kirito has trouble controlling said strength at his present level of spirit. As he masters his own Zanpakuto, this will change. It should also be noted that Kirito is unaffected by normal electricity from nature, as the electromagnetic static field surrounding him and the blade disperses it, insulating him from it. He is also immune to the damaging effects of his own zanpakuto.

Second Release Description: Arashi no Tamashii (Soul of the Stormbringer)

Once bankai activates, blade's blue aura fades, and then a large shock wave is released from it's hilt, briefly clouding Kirito's and anybody else in the radius' vision. When the shock wave fades, his blade, though retaining it's katana shape, is no longer stained with blue and green, but is now completely white. Along with this change in coloration, Kirito's own appearance changes as well. His shihakusho and jacket dissapear, revealing his tight, ripped black pants, black tank top, and showcasing his now glowing, ornate tattoo of an angel located just above his right pectoral. Kirito's hair and eyes also return to their once black color. These changes signify his acceptance of his human side, and his soul's "completion" as he allows himself to truly be who he believes he should be, even if just for a short while. Finally, Kirito's reiatsu changes from it's original, very erratic and jumpy presence which violently found its way along one's body into a calm, completely stationary energy. His reiatsu functions like the eye of a storm, where all is calm for a moment until you reach the boundaries of the eye. When he attacks, the reiatsu leaps forwards, once again violently crawling over the enemy's body. Kirito's reiatsu still smells as it used to, like singed hairs and a soft summer breeze, but now forms itself into a menacing turquoise tornado centered around him when being seen through visual reiatsu perception.

Kirito's power expands from it's previous control over wind and lightning to total control over the weather. After embracing his full self and pouring his own soul into his sword, he unlocked the ability to control the rain, cloud formations, and such other weather based events. He can cause thunderstorms, small hurricanes and even a localized tornado if he so pleases. Of course, the blade still retains its useful, smaller scale abilities like it's generalized lightning and wind manipulation powers from it's shikai state, though their strength is drastically enhanced by the true form of Kirito's zanpakuto. The ability links to Kirito in that his original ability was narrow minded, focused on freedom, and the elements that he believed were most powerful. With his soul's relative completion, his blade, along with him, has gained respect for the other elements of the universe along with their practical uses. He no longer sees lightning as a mere tool of destruction, but a graceful, pinpoint tool that can counter, stun, and destroy, and he now believes wind is not purely a defensive element, but a graceful shield that can be used to violently slam into enemies and cut people like an invisible sword. His original belief was that his shikai was a representation of the divine, when in reality, it was the opposite: a narrow minded belief of what he believed the gods should have considered themselves useful for. His bankai represents the realization of this flawed belief, and its correction.

Legacy Created__

Current Division: 5th Division

Previous Divisions: This is Kirito's first assigned division.

Snapshots: In all honesty, despite having traveled across the world, Kirito is relatively new at being a shinigami and has been near no notable events. He hadn't yet left the academy when Tova Diablo attacked the Soul Society and was only placed in a division just before Miyuki Wakihisa's innauguration as captain of the third.

1994- Born

1999- Taught the basic Quincy skills by his Mother.

2004- Family was attacked by hollow after a fit which caused Kirito to release high amounts of reiatsu into the air. Mother was killed.

2005- Another Hollow attacks Kirito, only to be shielded by Kirito's best friend, who dies from the attack. Kazuto kills the Hollow using his Quincy bow.

2006- Kirito meets a shinigami. They become friends as the man feels Kirito is similar to him.

2006- Kirito begins training his own spiritual prowess, occasionally with the help of Karono.

2011- The shinigami leaves, shortly after telling Kirito about the Seireitei and explaining shinigami and their powers to him. He also tells Kirito how to get to Shin'o Academy if he's ever interested.

2012- Kirito, out of sheer curiosity, shamelessly kills himself.

2012- Kirito somehow retains his memories after dying, and after remembering what the man said to him about the Shin'o academy, Kirito runs out of the line for being sorted into the rukongai, and rushes to the gate. After showcasing his spiritual prowess, he is let through to the Seireitei and Shin'o Academy.

History:Basic Overview:Kirito was born as a spiritually aware human to a formerly Quincy-associated Mother and a normal father. He was five when his mother taught him the basics in regards to his own Quincy abilities, but despite this, Kirito found himself disinterested, something which led his mother to put off his training. Unfortunately, before he could receive more training, his mother was killed, by a hollow no less, which was then killed by a pair of shinigami, confounded at the boy's spiritual pressure. The hollow had been attracted to Kirito due to a temper tantrum he had, causing his reiatsu to leak. At the age of 19, he died, having known about the existence of Shinigami by seeing one as a child of 8 years old. The shinigami was kind, unlike many others who met humans who could see them, and showed Kirito how to understand his spiritual abilities. Before the shinigami left to return to the Seireitei, (when Kirito was about 12), he explained the existence of the soul society and how if Kirito died one day, he could become a Shinigami like himself. A story which ended rather tragically, Kirito killed himself at the age of 19 due to pure curiosity. Upon passing into the next world, Kirito retained his memories due to his high spiritual potential. After being checked into a district, Kirito instantly left the rukongai for the Shinigami Academy the man had told him about. At the gate, by showcasing his reiatsu, he was allowed through and greeted by a few academy members. He was then inducted into the academy and was given a Zanpakuto Asauchi. It was here he first discovered his zanpakuto spirit, and learnt to fully harness his potential as a shinigami. Only recently has Kirito been placed in a division. Despite his young age, Kirito graduated the academy in a short 4 years, being fast tracked because of his much greater knowledge of his own abilities. He's also probably the youngest shinigami in the Seireitei, with most being at least 50 years older. After being placed in a division, Kirito was quickly sent into battle, overconfident as ever. He was quickly dispatched by a Bala from a hollow, and hence has been teased about his ironic arrogance in a battle he was destined to lose. This didn't matter to him however. Kirito is still fighting strong, getting more powerful as each day goes by. His greatest aspiration is to become captain commander of the gotei, and successfully defeat lieutenant Hazuki. Why defeat her you ask? Because she beat up a perfectly nice girl, who in honesty, probably shouldn't be a captain. She was so fragile! Why hurt her! And that brings us to Kirito's last goal. He wants to find a nice girl, and settle down. Despite his general hate for social activity, he's slowly adapting to those around him, and making friends. Something he promised himself he wouldn't ever do again. So yeah, he does want to find love in life. He better kick some ass along the way though.

Childhood and Human Life:Kirito was born in 1991 on January 2nd. His parents loved him, and he had no siblings at the time. Two years later, his mother late term miscarried a baby girl. After this, his parents made no attempt to have any more children. Kirito was curious as a baby. Always touching things and searching for items which according to his parents, were hidden so well he shouldn't have found them. Then, suddenly, after a tantrum on his third birthday, a hollow attacked their house due to a release of reiatsu from the toddler Kirito. As if being attacked by an invisible force, his parents hid Kirito deep in their house. As the abode was attacked, Kirito's mother was caught in a Bala, and consequently killed. She simply vanished, having been blown to pieces. Then, after feeling a spiritual pressure vanish, Kirito left his protected space, and walked up to the hollow, shielding his father from a normal swipe. Remarkably, he survived with several severe injuries nonetheless. Soul reapers who arrived seconds later were confounded at the site of a boy and his father lying on the ground, alive. After dispatching the hollow, both were healed and had Kikanshinki used on them. Though they considered taking the boy to the rukongai to keep him safe, having noticed his abnormal spiritual pressure, this was voted against. Multiple years later, while in a park, Kirito encountered a hollow being fought by a Shinigami. Surprised he could be seen, the man introduced himself as Karono Misumono. Slowly but surely, Kirito and he realized they were alike. It was from this man Kirito gained his infatuation with freedom. The man was abnormally friendly, so much so that Kirito was disturbed at first. This was something he adjusted to. Finally, after having the reasoning for why others couldn't see the man explained, Kirito asked the man to train him. Eventually, after asking several more times, coming to the area in which the man was stationed every day simply to beg to him, Karono agreed. Over the course of four years, the man taught Kirito to use his powers. The ability to use Lightning, electromagnetic fields, these powers were learnt to be controlled by the young boy. Then, sadly the man had to leave for the seireitei. After a 4 year friendship, and one goodbye, Kirito's life with a soul reaper ended. Before he left, he told Kirito how to get to Shin'o academy from the rukongai sorting line. Onward, Kirito went through high school, had all of the usual going-obs, then suddenly realized that at the rate his spiritual powers were growing, he would have to wait a long time to reach the soul society, as those with higher spiritual pressure tended to live longer (though not by a wide margin), and died of natural causes slower. Kirito wanted to reach the soul society, as the entire idea of it excited him. With this in mind, at the age of 19, Kirito flipped a knife on himself and slit his wrists. He died smiling. His friends, however, didn't smile at this. The few he had were close and dear, and Kirito had left without thinking about them, about their feelings, as well as his now estranged father's own depressive thoughts. However, even then, Kirito knew he hadn't died to actually get to the soul society faster. No. It was because he didn't want the people he loved to be hurt. Ever. His mother had died for him, and 4 years earlier, his best friend had died as well. That wouldn't happen again. Never, ever again. So he closed himself off. His feelings, his personality. To compensate for this social seclusion, he decided to seek freedom. If his thoughts couldn't be free, maybe his body could. And it did. And still does.

Soul Society:Kirito woke up at the back of a line. Evidently, he was to be placed in a district among the rukongai. This was rather annoying for him, but in the distance, he saw the gates of the white city. The seireitei. Having remembered what Karono had told him many years ago, Kirito ran out of the line and dashed for the gate. At the gate, he was greeted by a giant, one of the keepers of the gates surrounding the seireitei. After explaining his purpose of entry and displaying his reiatsu in the form of a release of spiritual pressure. Though it ended with an unimpressed look, the gate keeper was satisfied and believed Kirito deserved to pass into the seireitei. Upon reaching the Shin'o Academy, Kirito was once again tested, and once again passed. He was allowed in, and hence began his time as a Shinigami. During his time here he received and heard his Zanpakuto for the first time, skipped multiple, though not all of his Kido classes, because who the fuck cares about spells (until he got knocked out by a bala 4 years later because he got cocky and DIDNT KNOW KIDO), and finally, graduated and was placed in 5th division. Since then, Kirito has met multiple people and befriended them, fought several others including the 3rd seat of his own division and the soon to be appointed 4th seat of the fifth as well.To Be Continued...

Roleplay Sample:Kirito was in his barracks. As usual. He was throwing a small ball towards the white ceiling. Everything was white around here (Except Captain Minamoto's bed sheets, but that's a story for another day. Actually, now that I think about it, considering he and Miyuki are.... wait, that would make them white!). Fuck, even this ball was white. Not enough for it to blend in with the ceiling when Kirito tossed, but still. White. Nevertheless, Kirito continued to throw the ball as he thought this. Up. Down. Up. Down. It didn't really matter where the ball landed. Or, would have landed at least. Kirito was fast enough to catch it every time. Sometimes, he wished he wasn't fast. Or strong. Or different in any way. Back home, he was different. Here, at least he could be seen as normal. If normal could be said for anybody here. He guessed it was honestly just perspective. Or was it. The psyche of a commonly referred to person as "Normal" was standard. Eats meat, veggies, and some fruit. Occasionally bread. Has a middle level salary. The usual. Here, of course, those in the rukongai would... he supposed, be normal. Those in the Seireitei, specifically Shinigami, would still be called weird by normal inhabitants of the Rukongai, right? God, this was confusing. He supposed that it didn't matter. Kirito then went back to throwing that same ball, at that same ceiling, every 2 seconds, catching each time it fell. Rinse. Repeat.

OOC__

Player Alias: Kirito

Do you want a grade?: As this is being regraded and I've learnt my lesson, I'll say I aim for 600 GP. If I can earn higher, that would be cool, but it really doesn't matter much.

Were you referred by anyone?: Nope. Just ingenuity and want for a non-naruto RP.

Post by Sora Shiryoku on Apr 11, 2016 13:49:40 GMT -5

Stats And Skills:

Universal Skills:

Hoho (Shunpo): Master

Zanjutsu: Master

Hakuda: Novice

Reiatsu Perception: Journeyman

Zanpakuto Resonance: Expert

Secondary Skills:

Teleportation: None

Shunko: Journeyman

Stats:Reiatsu: 225Speed: 90 (110)Kirito can move at high speeds for somebody of his class of Shinigami, and maintains a reputation as somebody who's probably behind you already if you aren't covering your back.Defense: 25Despite being light, Kirito can take a hit to some extent, though he mostly relies on not being hit in the first place.Strength: 30 Kirito is far from weak. He appears superhuman to mortals, and to shinigami? Well, regardless of who you are, you'd be better off not taking a hit from him in the first place.Spirit: 80(100)That's a nice defense stat you have there. It would be a shame if something were to happen to it.

Post by Value on Apr 11, 2016 22:45:11 GMT -5

Okay, a few things before I can actually grade this.

You may want to reconsider the reason for his hair and eye color. Generally speaking, unlocking Shikai does not change your body.

Smart is not a trait we accept. Your description of it is far better- a specific kind of intelligence instead of a broad definition of it. Focus it down. Also, you do need another positive trait, as caring and empathetic as used here are too close to each other.

You may want to reconsider the idea of a Adderall popping Shinigami here. It wouldn't exactly be easy for him to get access to the drug in Seireitei to begin with, and the Gotei wouldn't exactly look favorably on one of their soldiers doing that.

Be aware that his superiors would not have gotten over his disobeying orders, and doing that enough would result in him getting punished. The Gotei is a military organization, now more than ever, with a might makes right attitude. He can certainly keep his beliefs, but being too outspoken with them, or too openly anti-establishment, would result in the very least in punishments.

And we run into the second thing that I can't approve. A Zanpakuto Spirit is related entirely to the bearer's soul, and not any others. It is a piece of who they are. It cannot be his sister's soul. Kiri-hana will need to be changed on this part in order to be approved.

Electromagnetic forces don't cause wind. They might be a factor, but wind is strictly caused by differences in air pressure. Don't try to bring science into it if you want to use both wind and lightning. Also, broad 'enhancement' of the blade is a bit too much. You'll need to specify what that enhancement can do. Also, the range in which his Shikai can potentially reach is potentially broken. Shiaki don't generally have the broadest range. Try bringing the range in a bit.

So the above is salvagable.

And now we get to the history.

I'll have to honestly advocate starting this over from scratch. There's so much here that's either implausible or impossible. A toddler releasing a large amount of reiatsu and then killing a Hollow? Both of those verge on the strictly impossible. Hollows can, after all, kill rank and file Shinigami. This would be a small child releasing enough power to kill a Hollow in one hit. Moving further on, it's possible although incredibly rare that a Shinigami would help him with his powers. Being given a map made out of reishi, though, would be silly. You don't retain objects when you are sent on to Soul Society, it would be utterly useless to him, and souls forget the past when they are sent as well (although rare, enough people do remember their human past that it's plausible too, although it's not a for-sure thing just because you have decent reiatsu). But Kirito's spiritual powers growing so powerful Hollows wouldn't be able to kill him, so he commits suicide? I...can't actually understand that. As he grows more powerful, he would attract more powerful Hollows to him. I'm also not sure how a relationship with a Shinigami over four years would one day, nine years later, lead him to kill himself. Being recruited into the Academy immediately is fine, even graduating a little is...okay, since four years is fine. I'm not sure how he could showcase his spiritual prowess though, since his powers would depend on a Shikai he doesn't have. Just his reiatsu alone would get him in though, that's all they're looking for.

While having a human life, soul society, and overview section are fine, there should be something in Soul Society if you've included it in your overview.

Fix or redo your history, change your Zanpakuto Spirit a touch, brush up your power, and give me three total approvable positive traits. The rest are optional but definitely advisable.

Post by Value on Apr 12, 2016 20:42:22 GMT -5

Some of this flows awkwardly and could use to be cleaned up. For instance...

"This hair is further, actually something Kirito is protective of."

While I certainly understand what you mean, it isn't a sentence that flows well at all or even properly constructed.

Just because he has a electicity-based reiatsu doesn't mean his hair will actually electrocute things. Worrying about it is one thing, actually shocking himself in the shower is another.

There's one other major-ish problem in this section, and that's simply that there is a general lack of attention to things like stance, his physical attitude, and further details like that. Be careful not to let the electrical nature of his reiatsu take over too much. Having his physical appearance change because he found out how to release his Zanpakuto is already treading close to that line, but acceptable. Stranger things have happened.

On a broad scale this isn't bad though. Nor is it terribly good, or paint a great picture of Kirito.

Personality ~ 100/500

It's not necessary to continue to tie personality to reiatsu. It comes off as forced. Similarly, I do have to wonder where his obsession with lightning and wind comes from. Is it just because of his Zanpakuto? That's not explained, which is rather a pity. This could be drastically improved just by that explaination alone and it's the perfect chance to do it.

Someof your traits don't really fit under positive. A sadistic sense of humor would be taken by many to be a downside, not an upside! Similar to that is being eccentric, although that can be a positive if taken the right way.

But let's talk about personality on a broad scale. Alright, so you do a decent job describing in general what he's like. What this section lacks entirely is intersection between traits. Nearly all of his positive traits stand entirely on their own, without any support from the rest. He feels a little one dimensional as a result of this. It isn't helpd by the way that several of your traits can be expanded. Caring/Empathetic and Eccentric both trail off with either a comma or no punctuation at all, making it feel like this section had more to offer. If he's normally an asshole and cold to people, then this could have used a bit of expansion into how he's not with his close friends. All of his major negative traits could be expanded on.

On a side note, one doesn't 'develop ADD due to an infatuation with freedom'. ADD is a neurological disorder, not something that develops because of an obsession with an ideal. This comes off as being incredibly disrespectful, something that is repeated again in the history.

Power & Race-Specific Details ~ 100/400

So I'm going to get a bit technical here because you attempted to tie science into your abilities. Electromagnetic fields don't control wind. What controls wind is air pressure, and that's it. This definitely detracts from the quality of this. If you want wind manipulation, don't tie science into it.

The rest of your power is okay. It's a fairly typical Shikai in many senses, not doing anything exceptional. It's unclear whether the lightning is a reflection of his obsession with it, or whethr he became obsessed with lightning and wind because of his power, but that's another matter.

A word of warning. Comparisons between your character and others are often difficult in an RP setting where you don't actually control other characters. Most Zanpakuto Spirits on BG, for instance, usually have a bond between them and their bearer that has nothing to do with symbiosis. They try to improve their bearers, a foil that lets the Shinigami grow by learning from a fragment of their soul. This is true whether that relationship is adversarial or friendly. But it's something to keep in mind throughout an application- try to be objective about it. If you think that it goes against the grain for a race- (a Hollow being more good than cruel, for instance) then it can be important to note, but keep a light hand with it.

History ~ 000/300

First. Your character is rather young for a Shinigami- most of the time the minimum age is 50. While the reasoning for that is acceptable, it does mean that he's going to be relatively clueless about most Spiritual things that the Academy hasn't taught him directly- memory isn't generally carried over from a Mortal life, and being picked up right out of the gate as an Academy student means that he has had essentially zero time to learn anything on his own.

Second, I have no idea why he's obsessed with defeating Hazuki, and this reads as being completely without reason or merit.

Specific faults I have with the history are still mostly encompassed by what I've said already. Alright so he survives a swipe from a Hollow, somehow, due to raw reiatsu. Not terribly plausible but we can work with that. There are definitely a lot of Kido classes, so he wouldn't have missed all of them or he simply wouldn't have graduated. Not being good at them is one thing. Missing them all? That's impossible. Dying because he can't get to Soul Society quickly?

Remember that line about disrespect for serious issues? Welcome to part 2. And I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to lose my cool.

Don't fucking play with serious issues unless you have the maturity to handle them in a respectful manner.

As someone who has lost friends to suicide, this is insanely insensitive. Suicide is very fucking rarely a 'well why not' moment. The way it reads is flippant. "Well I want to go to this cool place so let's die!" Really? This is not the best you can come up with. This is not respectful. This is a smack in the face to anyone who has ever seriously contemplated suicide, who has ever been in that place where they could have held a knife to their wrist and wanted to end themselves, to the people who've lost their loved ones and friends to depression and worse. It can certainly be done in a respectful manner. You could mention further the stories that had been building in his head over the years, from stories into fantasies, until it's become a paradise he has to reach at all costs. Weird, but plausible! Cults have done that after all. But no. It's a sudden realization. And then it's time to die.

You can play with serious topics. You can play with mental illness, suicide, death, abuse, rape, and so on. Do it with some fucking respect and maturity. And if you can't do that, or you can't even try to do that, don't.

Rant over.

The history is okay. It does try to capture, every now and then, his mental and emotional state. It doesn't do this in incredible detail, and it leaves a variety of things unexplaind about his personality. Why does Kirito love freedom so much? No explaination here or in his personality. For that matter, most of the rest of his personality doesn't fit into this but for his arrogance, and that's bad. If I can't attach a history to a character's personality, then I have no idea what actually formed them, why they think and believe the way they do. A history is not just a way tell me what happened in a life, but to tell me how and why they've become who they are. This fails at that task.

Total earned GP:300!Total base GP:1,500!

Total GP:1800!

There are a variety of other grammatical problems with this, and the application in general needs to be more fleshed out in nearly every section for it to reach that 800 mark. But I would advise you to spend attention on building a cohesive and coherent character before you worry too much about that. You certainly have the potential for it, the baseline is there, but there are some problems in the way before that level is reached.

If you would like to attempt at a higher score in the future, read this post in our Rules to find out how.

Post by Sora Shiryoku on May 4, 2016 12:14:28 GMT -5

For those of you who I haven't told, my character used to be used on a naruto roleplay site. I don't intend to do much there anymore... but, there's a certain thing I've gotten attached to, and I can't leave it behind. So here's my custom skill. (dont judge).

Custom Skill - Sharingan (Copy Wheel Eye):The sharingan was a genetic trait passed down through generations of an ancient clan of spiritually aware humans known as the Uchiha. Originating in the late Nara period of Japan, the family has roots in the ninja and samurai warrior classes, and was esteemed among villagers and the government alike for their combat prowess. Until recently, Kirito knew not that he was in fact a descendant of this family, and had inherited this trait. The sharingan manifests itself in an Uchiha after they experience an emotionally traumatic experience, (Kirito's being his loss to Nanami), and even then, rarely appears except among powerful members of the clan. After it activates, the user will be left with two completely red eyes, save for the pupil, and will have a single tomoe (comma like extra pupil) surrounding their central pupils. The abilities of the sharingan can be classified as non offensive to an extent. You see, after unlocking the sharingan, it can develop further, gaining a second and a third tomoe, each signifying further mastery of the ability and it's powers. Hence, it's strength can be measured in three levels.

1st Tomoe:The user has just unlocked their sharingan. They can perceive motions with high detail, recognizing many things a normal eye could not, such as a hair on somebody's jacket from 10 feet away. They can also track higher speeds (1.5 x their normal tracking speed) and can view the spiritual structure of spirit-based objects, attacks, and beings. This is the least powerful and most common manifestation of the sharingan. User cannot maintain well at all.

2nd Tomoe:From the 1st level, this is a large step up. The user can now track speeds (2x their normal tracking speed) and can view spiritual structures with more detail. They can predict the motions of an enemy to some extent, but can't do it enough so that they would do the motions before an enemy did. The user's attention to detail is now much higher, allowing them to spot the marks on a strand of hair from even a distance. The user can also copy motions of the enemy with some accuracy, but cannot do them if they are physically unable. Is hard to maintain for long periods of time.

3rd Tomoe:This is the most advanced level of the sharingan that most are capable of attaining. The third tomoe sharingan increases the power of the user's abilities gained from the 2nd tomoe to practically another level. Attention to detail is so great that the user can spot a specific speck of dust on among a sack of lint from a distance. They can physically lock their eyes onto a spiritual signature, allowing them to follow movement 2.5x their usual tracking speed. The user can now essentially see the reishi particles individually making up a structure, and can pinpoint its weakness. The user can now predict physical motions to the extent that they basically are able to predict the next move by an enemy with good accuracy. Finally, a new ability is bestowed upon the user. The power to cast and break from illusions. By making eye contact with the enemy, the user can place the enemy under a visual illusion, altering their surroundings, or maybe causing them to see a hallucination. If trapped under an illusion, the user can simply break free of it using their sharingan. Each of the gained actions does however take up a chunk of the users spiritual energy, so one should be judicious while dispelling or using the illusions. The illusions created by the sharingan can be broken by inflicting pain on oneself, or interaction with a foreign spirit energy such as an ally's kaido spell. The user can now copy the enemy's physical motions with ease, matching them like a mirror. Maintainable for long periods of time.

There is a rumor of another stage of sharingan, but it has only been possessed by one member of the family in history. It's founder, Izuna Uchiha.

Rank to Skill:Beginner: The user can activate their sharingan. They possess a single tomoe and find it hard to maintain for any good period of time.

Novice: The user gains the second tomoe of their sharingan. It is a little easier to maintain, but still can't be used for any long period of time. In total, you could keep it up for maybe 20 minutes. After that, one would feel tired.

Journeyman: The user gains their third and final tomoe of the basic sharingan. They can now maintain it for long periods of time, such as an hour or more, but can't maintain it indefinitely. After deactivating from having it active for more than an hour, the user will feel drained.

Expert: The user can maintain their sharingan indefinitely, though will feel rather tired if they deactivate it.

Master: The user can maintain the sharingan indefinitely for any period of time with no negative repercussions.

Post by Sora Shiryoku on May 6, 2016 15:50:55 GMT -5

Custom Skill: Reverse Pressure Mastery

Through his knowledge of the wind element due to his Zanpakuto, Kirito has learnt to control the dispersal and application of air and physical pressure in combat. By releasing air waves to counteract a damaging force, Kirito can deflect or disperse certain attacks, or in turn release concussive physical or wind pressure to deal blunt force damage or shatter physical structures. This can range from a rock to a building, depending on his skill level. He however cannot shatter pressure immune materials, such as dense gems and metals including diamond, titanium, and several other materials. The pressure can be released from his Zanpakuto, feet, or hands.

At beginner level, Kirito can use the ability to a low extent, shattering things the size of a small tree stumb or basic human weapons (small axes, swords) and can only disperse very low ranked hado and deflect small projectiles (shuriken or small throwing knives).

At Novice level, Kirito can shatter larger objects such as reasonably sized rocks (slightly larger than beach stepping stones) and break the small projectiles from last rank. He can also deflect larger projectiles and disperse hado learnt at the novice level. His concussive force can now knock a grown man to the ground.

At Journeyman level Kirito can disperse hado learnt at the journeyman level, and can now begin to disperse spiritual weapons such as the blasts of a zanpakuto or a weak Quincy arrow. His shattering and deflecting powers grow further, allowing him to deflect attacks of large power, such as a sword swing similar to his own strength, and can shatter boulders. His concussive force can bruise and break small bones.

At Expert level, Kirito can disperse spiritual attacks equal to his own power, and remains able to disperse hado of journeyman rank. He is also able to shatter large structures, like sections of a full house. He can deflect projectiles of great size, and his concussive force can block great physical attacks. It can also break large bones and knock an enemy back multiple yards. He can also now release a weak pressure blast at the opponent, dealing concussive damage. It has the strength of his novice level concussive force.

At master rank, Kirito's skills remain very similar, except in that he can now release pressure blasts with force equal to journeyman rank. He can also shatter weak Shikai of a shinigami. This is the strongest this skill can get.

Post by Consequence on May 6, 2016 23:57:00 GMT -5

Couple problems.

1) Shattering another player's Zanpakuto (even if their Shikai is "Weak") isn't something that's okay without the other player's permission. While this -can- serve as an excellent storytelling point, the ability to inflict a long term loss of power is not something that is okay for you to have.

2) You cannot dispel/disperse/cancel out things that are "equivalent" to you. Maybe, if you made this ability the sole focus of your actual power, this would be permissable. As you have not, you will require an advantage over the other party up through Master rank.

3) This is written -very- close to to another power and I am on the edge of just outright denying it. I'd encourage you to focus on exploiting the ability to deflect, or the ability to attack, and not both. Instead, add a taste of the other to end of the power curve. For example, if you wanted to focus on Deflection, do that and drop all pretense of attacking with this or destroying things. Then, at Expert and/or Master, work in the fact that he's learned to project it offensively in simple ways.