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There is a saying, in several Eastern cultures, that a good woman is worth her weight in rubies. I was always curious why they would say ‘rubies’, and then one day a jeweler explained to me that ancient cultures did not mine diamonds, their most precious stone was the ruby. Then that part made sense. Then I wondered why there was no corresponding saying for men, that a good one was worth his weight in a precious gem. All you ever hear is ‘A good man is hard to find’. or derogatory statements such as ‘A man does not want to guy the cow if he gets the milk for free.’ I think it’s time we took another look at men, and perhaps reevaluated them as a sex.

Men are not perfect,, no more than women are, but they are not raised to be so this puts them at a considerable disadvantage. Men are not expected to be modest when out of the sight of ladies, in fact just the opposite!They are expected to behave like ruffians when in the company of men and gentlemen when in the company of women-and some have a difficult time keeping that straight, especially when the women don’t always act like ladies!

So, how to find a husband that has the right amount of testosterone and manners all wrapped up in one glorious package? Take some time!! Don’t rush into a relationship before you’ve observed his behavior both with the guys and in front of you and your girls. If he can’t keep his eyes off the waitress when you go out to dinner, it’s time to end it. If he forgets when you go to the bathroom and hits on your friend while you’re gone, don’t even think about forgiving him! Oh, and a true friend will always tell you, and if you are a grown up you won’t let it break up your friendship! I’ve lost several friends because their boyfriends hit on me and I was honest and though I knew it would break their heart, I told them. I got nothing for it but a kick in the teeth and losing a friend, but at least I did what I would have wanted someone to do for me! I only wish someone had told me the scumbag, Greg, that I was with was cheating with the toothless piece of trash he ended up with, I’d have set his clothes on fire a few days earlier! That was a fun weenie roast!

My first and second husbands taught me a lot about what NOT to look for in a man. The fellows I dated in between gave me enough knowledge to consider myself an expert! The main thing to know is you cannot change a man. When a man presents himself to you, he is like a great big bar of gold, all nice and shiny, looking like he is worth everything you’ve got and more. But some men are not solid gold, they are just turds, dipped in gold. Put a little wear on them, they begin to dull and pretty soon you start to get a whiff of shit, and then you realize you’ve been giving all the best of you to nothing but a piece of shit! That’s why I say wait, hold on to your best stuff, don’t go to bed with them, don’t start off cooking hot dinners from scratch, don’t do his laundry after the first week, see instead how he treats you! A real ‘Golden Boy’ will be the one who treats you like a princess, won’t ever be able to stand it if he makes you cry, and won’t give you cause t worry about his fidelity. You won’t, either, because there is something about him that is different than anyone you have ever known. He has goals and is working toward them, he is honest about all things-not even little white lies come out, he is where he says he is, his manners are natural to him and he makes you feel like a better person just by being with you.

Those types of men are worth their weight in gold, and I have one-my third husband. I will be with him until the day I die, and I have no doubt of this. How can I be sure? Because I put it in the wedding vows! “This is til death do we part, whether by natural causes, homicide or suicide, we’re not getting out of this marriage alive!” And I can’t see myself ever without him. We took our time, five years before the wedding, almost four before the engagement, and we didn’t live together beforehand. We spent weekends together, took vacations together, and enjoyed one another’s company the whole time. We only had a couple of arguments in all that time and made up right away, and we handled things maturely by talking them through. In fact, we talk a lot about everything and he is my best friend. I never tire of his company and I don’t think he tires of mine…but if we do the house has plenty of room to avoid one another for a while! And I never end a conversation or a night that we don’t say ‘I love you’ and have a kiss, even on phone.

I hope in twenty years we’re still doing that. I’m going to sure try! I always am good to him, and he is to me, and that is the kind of man to marry, one you are sure will always be GOOD to you!!!