Co-worker hates me..

So, I am in a pickle at work. I'm working on a project with a co-worker that cannot stand me for some reason or another. How do I know this? She must have forgotten we are FB friends (or is just super passive-aggressive) and posted something in reference to how she thinks this project is a waste of time and doesn't like the way I'm executing things on this project. She has posted p-a things about me and other co-workers repeatedly. So unprofessional, but it's FB and I would never bring that to the attention of my manager because what she does on her FB is her business, but it still is right there for the world, and the office, to see lol.

Well, let's back this up for a minute. We are in different positions, but are almost equals in terms of seniority, however I am the lead on this project. The first time there was a minor issue on this project, she ran to our manager crying about how she didn't like the way I was running things. She is unbelievably unapproachable, yet has told others that she doesn't understand why they won't just come to her. Well, I have and have always been met with hostility. When I have repeatedly come to her, she just shuts down, or gets crazy defensive and then talks behind my back to other co-workers. I'm sorry, if I have asked you repeatedly to do xyz, and you still haven't done xyz, and we can't move on without xyz, I'm either going to just do it myself, or report to our manager that you aren't pulling your weight. I'm certianly not going to let you give me a bad name, when I am busting my butt.

Now, I have found out she is going to ask that I be removed from the project. Seriously? Because you don't like that I'm trying to get this shit done, despite your hinderance you are going to try to get me off the project? I'm sure my manager will see right through this, as she usually does, but I can't help but feel a little hurt. I honestly don't know what her problem is with me, and she certianly won't talk to me about it. She is very intelligent, but is really intimidating and has terrible execution. She's all talk, no action. She would rather run in circles and try to get me off the project than bite the bullet and just deal with what's in front of her. She doesn't actively participate in anything, and is a woe-is-me kinda gal. She's always fishing and hoping someone will bite. What a crock of crap. I wouldn't mind being pulled off the project bc I know that I work hard and am good at what I do, I just feel like she's personally after me. My manager and I have already talked, and she knows the situation, but I'm just interested to see how this all goes down.

Comments (12)

As a manager, I would actually probably have extended conversations with both of you separately. The challenge in this sort of project for the project leader is that he/she needs to lead via influence, not via title or status.

The ability to lead via influence is a huge factor in promotability.

As a manager, I'd be trying to give you advice on how to influence more effectively, and also, after a certain point, how to give her rope to hang herself. In her case, it probably would be oriented to team environment, sis boom bah stuff.

Basically, "this is an office, not an 8th grade lunchroom. And were I the lunch monitor, I wouldn't tolerate this shit there either."

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"Releasing doves and a sushi station are not basic human rights." -- MollySaysWhat

Our company has a social media policy, such that those types of posts would land someone in hot water. I would discretely review your organization's policy and then bring her posts to the attention of your manager, if you choose not to address it directly with her in a professional manner. But in some way it does need to be addressed in order for you to be able to work productively with her on the project.

Sounds like she is just jealous of you. Are you prettier than her and thinner than her and smarter than her and people like you more in the office than her? I know from lots of experience with women in the work place that if you are any of the above, then women become hateful jealous bitches and will do anything to make themselves feel better. Jealousy is so ugly.

My employer has an unwritten policy on what can be posted on Facebook. As Supv I would try to mediate the situation. If I couldn't I would just tell both of you to stay away from each other and would find you guys new partners.

As pp have stated I would begin by unfriending any current coworkers on FB. Nothing good can come of it. If you weren't "friends" on FB to start with you wouldn't know this, there wouldn't be the tension or the drama and it wouldn't lead to either of you having to have a confrontation with management.

I would not recommend tattling on her for what she posted about the company on FB. It's seriously not worth going down that path unless you are tring to get petty and have her disciplined.

Grown-ups friend co-workers on LinkedIn or other professional leaning social media circles or not at all. FB is for your personal life.

I have a crazy coworker. He walks around the office telling people 20 minutes of stuff that has nothing to do with them He makes everything so difficult. We need X done, which takes 2 seconds, but it takes him 10 minutes with a diatribe about why he can't do X. I don't bother complaining to my boss, because they will never fire him. My boss complains to me.