As a trans male who is expected to shed his femininity while transitioning, I was still delighted yesterday when my dad offered to paint my nails, and I love him for encouraging me to stay true to both my masculine and feminine sides. Why would I pretend to be a macho man when my biggest male role model growing up was the one who taught me how to walk in heels?

As far as third-person pronouns go, … ze/hir, he/him, preferably anything but she/her. But I’m used to the latter, so I don’t really mind it.

I’m attracted to… bois, genderqueers, women, trans men, androgynous men, transwomen, intersex people, femmes, butches, etc. I’m generally more interested in the female and transmasculine spectrum, but I am in a serious, long-term relationship with a cisgender guy. What matters most to me is common ground.

When people talk about me, I want them to… take my gender seriously. Try to understand my gender, and not think that something as minor as a skirt once in a while could suddenly negate my entire gender identity.

I want people to understand… why it’s senseless to harass someone simply because of their gender or gender presentation, and that you can’t change a person’s gender to fit your expectations.

I’m tired of being told not to be butch, but I have no idea how to tell the important people in my life, who see me as a woman, that I’ve been living a lie. I’m not a boy, I’m not a girl. I’m a queer pansy gentleman and I’ll act like one and be loved as one. What’s a good way to explain to them that I’m just not a girl?

If only the gender spectrum was as well defined as the visible light spectrum. Yellow isn’t the “third color,” and we have words like “purple” to describe states between red and blue without just using variations on the words “red” and “blue.”

When people talk about me, I want them to… say things they would say to my face.

I want people to understand… gender means nothing, and I’ve moved beyond needing it.

About Brynn, Sarge
I’m a student who is sick of undergrad, due dates, and fretting about meaningless systems like money and gender. So I’m not going to. I’ll graduate in May 2010 and then save up, buy some land and build a house out of mud. Self-sufficiency is my goal.

As far as third-person pronouns go, … I prefer male pronouns–I still get warm and fuzzy inside every time I’m addressed as “sir.” So as far as I’m concerned, gender on, folks.
Co-opted third person plurals like “they” and “them” seem like a means without an end… Subverting gender markers, yes, but within the same linguistic structure? Doesn’t seem to call enough attention as politics.
Gender-neutrals would be great — even I’d hop on board — if only everyone was familiar… and remembered… and pronounced them correctly.
I miss optimism.

I’m attracted to… my fiancé.

When people talk about me, I want them to… give me credit when it’s due, despite the myriad of reasons one can find to deny it.

I want people to understand… that trans/gender/queer theories have still a long way to go in terms of acknowledging the breadth of subjectivities under their purview. Let’s all take a step back…

About Jamie
Consciously burying myself in the feminist-queer-gender-trans academies. With any luck in a few years I’ll have all my degrees and enough money to make ends meet… and maybe I’ll have enacted change on the way.

Hello friends. I am a biologically identified queer woman. I have been seeing a trans man for a little bit now, and I think I’d like to keep him around. He recently asked me what my parents would say if they knew I was dating a trans man. The same question has been on my mind for a while. My mother is supportive of my queer identity, but my father mostly ignores it. My mom and I are very close, and it is difficult to hide anything from her. How do you bring up such a topic to those you love who may not be so familiar with queer issues? Any thoughts would be helpful…