An Exercise in Gratitude

If I focus on the bad in my husband – I will have no problem finding bad things to meditate on. That is what I did for 14+ years. I was really good at it.

If I focus on the good in my husband – I can find those things, too. This is what I have been doing for 5 years – I am now just as good at finding the good things in Greg that I can appreciate as I used to be at finding the bad things to criticize and condemn. That is a total God thing, not an April thing!

My mind is incredibly powerful. What I choose to think about changes the way I see people. When I choose to think about the negative and focus on the bad things, eventually, that is all I can see. And when I choose to think about the good things in my husband, eventually, I hardly notice the bad things anymore.

ONE GOOD THING

Even if the only good thing you can think of is that “he is still here” like the wife in Love and Respect (Dr Emerson Eggerichs)did- you can run with that idea! She would say things to praise her husband about that one thing she could find that was good. He hadn’t left her yet. So, she’d walk by him in the living room sometimes and rub his shoulders and say things like, “It’s so nice having you around.” or “I’m so glad you are here.” or “It’s great having a man like you to come home to.” Just by her focusing on that one small positive attribute her attitude began to change. She started to see other good things about her husband – and then her whole marriage began to heal. Thankfulness was a great first step in the right direction!

GRATITUDE IS A LIFESTYLE FOR BELIEVERS

Thankfulness isn’t just a “nice thing to do.” Did you know that God commands us to be thankful?? Not only that, it is part of His will for us to be thankful. If we are full of His Spirit, gratitude should be part of our “native tongue.”

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. I Thessalonians 5:16-18

Let me give you some examples that I am thankful for in my husband (my list started out much shorter 5 years ago – but as I continue to live to seek to be thankful, I see more and more to be thankful for). See if you don’t recognize some of these strengths in your own man.

Greg is:

faithful

responsible

dependable

creative

intelligent

funny

loving

kind

generous

a good provider

stable emotionally/spiritually

talented with remodelling projects

artistic

great with tools/machines

technically savvy

affectionate

supportive

gentle

a good listener

a wise leader

great with sports and strategy games

good at enjoying life

great at relaxing and having fun

responsible with money

peaceful – doesn’t yell or get violent

very easy going

loyal to me, our children, God, his job

ethical

forgiving

merciful

not easily angered or upset

great at research

a fast learner

able to conquer just about anything he sets his mind to!

devoted to God

faithful to make sure we go to a Bible-believing church

faithful to support our children learning the Bible by taking them to AWANA at church

supportive of me as a mom

helpful with chores

an involved dad who plays with the children and makes them feel special and loved

faithful to spend a lot of his time off at home with me and our children

careful to respect me as his wife, a mom and a pharmacist

loving toward me even when I mess up

an emotional and spiritual rock for me

protective of me when I overextend myself

gives wise counsel to me and to our children

I am sure you can probably come up with others for your own husband, too. But it’s really interesting – as I began to focus on the positive qualities my husband has, and I quit bringing up and thinking about negative things- the positive, wonderful things began to grow bigger and bigger!

I’d like to encourage you to start a list of the things you admire, respect, are proud of and appreciate about your husband. Keep it with you when you pray for him and thank God for your husband’s strengths. Keep adding to the list as you see qualities you admire. Meditate on the good things about your man.

Maybe some time this week, you can tell him or text/email him just a sentence or two about something you admire and appreciate about him.

It would be a great day to list some of our incredible God’s amazing qualities and praise and thank Him for Who He is, too!

A verse I believe we could all benefit from memorizing and applying to our marriages and our lives:

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things. Philippians 4:8

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NOTE: The Peaceful Wife is not a licensed marriage counselor, therapist, pastor, or psychiatrist. Any information presented here is intended to encourage women to strengthen their walk with the Lord and any decisions women make are ultimately between themselves and Christ. If someone is in a dangerous situation, please reach out for help and try to get somewhere safe. Those with severe marriage issues or who have experienced abuse, please seek one-on-one, trusted counsel (medical, legal, and spiritual) as appropriate. My site is not intended for those experiencing issues with active addictions, unrepentant infidelity, uncontrolled mental health disorders, nor abuse.