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is an unapologetic, bleeding-heart liberal who writes about everything from politics to private parts. A TV-writer in a former life, her credits include "Big Spender" for Animal Planet,and "A Child Too Many," "Cradle of Conspiracy" & "Deceived By Trust," for Lifetime

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Despite God’s best effort to design all forms of life to live in balance with each other and the planet, we have a population problem. Basically, we’re over capacity with no end in sight. That’s why God created religion. So we’d have something to start wars over. That and oil. But as violent and blood thirsty as we are as a species, and given the fact that as long as man has walked upon the earth there have been wars in which hundreds of millions of us have been massacred, we still haven’t been able to balance out the “arrivals” with the “departures.”

So God created plagues, droughts, famine, and no end of natural disasters – yet still we managed to out breed His every effort. As a last ditch attempt to rein in the ever expanding human footprint, God had one more trick up His sleeve. Within every human being He cleverly planted the “stupid gene” designed to activate in a certain number of individuals any time the population in an area reached critical mass. The “stupid gene,” would incite such behavior as to cause said individual to simply self-destruct.

Voila! Problem solved.

So imagine God’s angst when He looked down to see meddlesome humans passing laws to save stupid people from their God-given mission. Smart people don’t need a law to make them wear their seat belts when they ride in a car. Therefore, if you ride in a car and don’t wear your seat belt, you are stupid and should you die as a result that’s the plan.

Ride a motorcycle in my state and the law says you’d better be wearing a helmet. I think most reasonable people will agree that in a match between a human skull and a patch of asphalt the skull is going to lose. However, if you believe that your skull is the exception, then you should be able to exercise your right to go without and may I just say… buh-bye!

It intrigues me that we have a plethora of laws to protect stupid people from themselves and so few laws to protect the rest of us from the truly malevolent – those corporate criminals who, in pursuit of profit, would destroy the very planet we all depend on for life.

BP Oil was allowed to go ahead with that high risk drilling operation in the Gulf without any regulation whatsoever requiring them to have a plan in place to clean up a spill. Such drilling safety regulations were gutted by the Bush administration.

Even this week when an attempt was made to raise the liability amount from the paltry $75 million per spill figure to $10 billion per spill, still a fraction of what we now know it will take to clean this mess up – if we even can – Republicans defeated the attempt, siding instead with the oil companies. Well, I supposed you have to give BP something for the $15.9 million they spent on lobbying.

Meanwhile today, U.S. fisherman lost their livelihoods and more wildlife lost their lives.

Personally, I’d rather see laws enacted to rein in the powerful and greedy corporate forces that are a real threat, and let the stupid people self-destruct as God intended.

Despite God’s best effort to design all forms of life to live in balance with each other and the planet, we have a population problem. Basically, we’re over capacity with no end in sight. That’s why God created religion. So we’d have something to start wars over. That and oil. But as violent and blood thirsty as we are as a species, and given the fact that as long as man has walked upon the earth there have been wars in which hundreds of millions of us have been massacred, we still haven’t been able to balance out the “arrivals” with the “departures.”

So God created plagues, droughts, famine, and no end of natural disasters – yet still we managed to out breed His every effort. As a last ditch attempt to rein in the ever expanding human footprint, God had one more trick up His sleeve. Within every human being He cleverly planted the “stupid gene” designed to activate in a certain number of individuals any time the population in an area reached critical mass. The “stupid gene,” would incite such behavior as to cause said individual to simply self-destruct.

Voila! Problem solved.

So imagine God’s angst when He looked down to see meddlesome humans passing laws to save stupid people from their God-given mission. Smart people don’t need a law to make them wear their seat belts when they ride in a car. Therefore, if you ride in a car and don’t wear your seat belt, you are stupid and should you die as a result that’s the plan.

Ride a motorcycle in my state and the law says you’d better be wearing a helmet. I think most reasonable people will agree that in a match between a human skull and a patch of asphalt the skull is going to lose. However, if you believe that your skull is the exception, then you should be able to exercise your right to go without and may I just say… buh-bye!

It intrigues me that we have a plethora of laws to protect stupid people from themselves and so few laws to protect the rest of us from the truly malevolent – those corporate criminals who, in pursuit of profit, would destroy the very planet we all depend on for life.

BP Oil was allowed to go ahead with that high risk drilling operation in the Gulf without any regulation whatsoever requiring them to have a plan in place to clean up a spill. Such drilling safety regulations were gutted by the Bush administration.

Even this week when an attempt was made to raise the liability amount from the paltry $75 million per spill figure to $10 billion per spill, still a fraction of what we now know it will take to clean this mess up – if we even can – Republicans defeated the attempt, siding instead with the oil companies. Well, I supposed you have to give BP something for the $15.9 million they spent on lobbying.

Meanwhile today, U.S. fisherman lost their livelihoods and more wildlife lost their lives.

Personally, I’d rather see laws enacted to rein in the powerful and greedy corporate forces that are a real threat, and let the stupid people self-destruct as God intended.