What are you all talking about..? The apple doesnt fall down, the earth “falls” upwards to touch the apple.. Mother nature loves apples dontcha know..? She doesnt like feathers all that much thats why she doesnt rush to touch them but instead takes her own sweet time.

A farmer hires a theoretical physicist to find out what’s wrong with his chickens. After a lot of diagrams and calculations, the physicist says, “Well, I’ve got a solution, but it only works for perfectly spherical chickens in a vacuum.”

It kinda reminds me that it all comes down to the perspective of the observer. Our own thoughts and beliefs shape the way we see things. A creationist might have thought of the apple falling on the guys head as the result of God commanding it to fall there. I really can’t say that the creationist is wrong, but I have an easier time beliving the biologist’s take on physics…

This is ridiculous. Obviously, the first apples to hit the ground did so with such force that their seeds were deformed, an acquired trait which was passed on to successive generations, thus making apples that are shaped to hit the ground the most common sort.

Don’t believe this apple-gravity nonsense. Where are the transitional apples? If you cannot show me an apple in every stage of growth AND fall, I could never believe that apples fall from trees. If you want to believe that apples fall from trees, that is your religion and I resent paying taxes for it to be taught in public schools. Don’t get me wrong, I love science.

If you define gravity by the apples and apples by the gravity, that’s circular logic!

Actually, I thought each apple flew off in all directions simultaneously (possibly into multiple universes if you subscribe to the many granny-smith interpretation), and it was only when Newton was underneath the tree observing that the fruit wave function collapsed onto his head.

It’s a little known detail, but that apple tree (an old and wise Flower of Kent had to retreat to dropping a bucket load of apples before Newton, historically lazy, woke up and got the message. This is suspected to explain Newton’s early retirement into alchemy and religious speculations.

A farmer hires a theoretical physicist to find out what’s wrong with his chickens.

The one I have heard goes something like this:

A leading diary company hires a couple of theoretical scientists in order to get higher production milk cows. The scientists study a farm, tells the company they need a year to develop a working theory, and gets to work.

After a year they meet with the expectant company directors. The leading scientists walks in front of an empty black board and begins: “Assume a spherical cow…”.