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Forgive

The niece of a family friend recently died of a drug
overdose - such a tragedy for any family to deal with.Even worse, she left behind four small
children, an ex-husband in another state and an estranged relationship with her
mother whom she hadn’t talked to in a while.What will happen to those children?

I can’t seem to stop thinking about what the mother
of this young woman must be going through right now.There must be lots of guilt and “if onlys”.

I know of too many people who have cut off ties with
family members.Granted, family can be
the most difficult people to deal with.We tolerate much more from them than we would with non-family friends.But to remove them completely from our lives
is not what God intends for us.

1Timothy 5:8 – “If
anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate
family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” I believe this goes beyond a financial
responsibility.We also need to provide
them with love.(I’m not saying you have
to be best friends.)

Of course, there are exceptions when abuse in any form
dominates a relationship. Unfortunately, that’s not usually the case.A fight over who got what when Grandma died
or careless, hurtful words are usually the culprit of family estrangement.

Usually, family is the fortress for many - the
people you can depend on regardless of how you fought at one time or maybe
still do.A true family is one that you
know will always be there for you no matter what.You would never discard them because they are
your family.

I’ve often said that we should have that same
attitude about our spouse.Would you
divorce your parents or your kids? (Of course, there may be times when you FEEL
like you want to.)We should have that
same commitment to our spouse.

But if someone is willing to dispose of a family
member, what chance do they have of staying with a spouse who offends
them?Not much.

Colossians 3:12-14 says, “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe
yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear
with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one
another.Forgive as the Lord forgave
you.And over all these virtues, put on
love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

We all need to learn to forgive.Unforgiveness is like taking poison and
expecting it to kill the person you won’t forgive.Not forgiving hurts us more than it hurts the
person who has offended us.

What about our spouses?Do you harbor an unforgiveness against them
that is affecting your relationship?That
poison of unforgiveness could destroy your marriage, showing up in other areas you
may not be aware of that can lead to divorce if not dealt with.

Forgiveness is not always easy.It takes time and practice.Forgiveness is not forgetting, rather it is
choosing to never bring the issue up again and working on loving the person who
hurt you.It is a conscious action that
will reap many benefits for your health and welfare and that of your family and
your spouse.

Resurrection Power for Marriage - 365 Day Devotional

My latest book available in ebook format. www.sandeelester.com

"In a world where fifty percent of marriages will fail, GPS to a Joyful Marriage is an excellent tool for Christians seeking to improve or restore their marriage. Sandee writes in a way that is humorous, honest and insightful as her wisdom comes directly from the healing of her own marriage. A practical book that provides biblically based techniques on how to build a healthy marriage." Suzanne Accardo, M.Ed. Certified Life Coach