Somehow, I feel as if I’m always taken for granted. My personality practically can’t stand to see people feel let down, so I literally comply with everyone’s requests, if reasonable. Most of the time, it works out. I’m fine with doing something because I like to help people. But as anyone learns, being a pushover is no good. Especially when people aren’t even grateful for your efforts.

The newspaper photo co-editor asked me to take photos again. That’s fine, because at least I’m active in the organization. But there’s one funny thing: the publication isn’t alive. I haven’t been told that we have a class, nor a publication for any more newspaper issues. The answer I get is that the organization is doing “whatever”. Well fine, I guess it’s good to stock up on pictures no one intends to publish. A few strokes in Photoshop and no one will know it was taken years ago.

I’m glad to do some fieldwork. But suggesting that I find a ride to a city 20 minutes away by car just because no one else wants to do it is not acceptable to me. It’s not that I don’t have a ride: it’s the principle. What is it for? Are they going to use it, because gas and time isn’t free. If it was in the city, I could care less, but 30 miles away is too far.

I’ve only had about five assignments in total. They’re only used two out of the five, so three have been wasted efforts. That’s being taken for granted, because it took me time and effort to get photos for all five assignments. That’s last year, and at least they were reasonable distances. School, baseball field, gym. Not a big deal.

This year, I don’t know why they’re in such a rush. There’s most likely nothing publishing for awhile. The organization technically doesn’t exist? I’m been out of the loop on the problems. It’s my job as a worker-bee photographer to do the menial tasks. What the editors don’t want to do they give to the peons, either because they don’t care or can’t. Realistically, I believe the editors should do more work. I don’t see them taking photos, and if they do, it’s a simple task. None ever involve driving to a desolate park in the middle of nowhere. Or doing the fucking complicated sports shots.

For this request, I flat out refused. I can’t do it. No, wait, I don’t want to do it. Few minutes before I wrote this, I was assigned another assignment, in an unsatisfied tone.

Why are they mad? Did they expect me to actually take the assignment? I guess this is what happens when two females are editors. A lot of unneeded frustration, and I assume this probably means I’ll be getting the shit-end next time, or none at all. Good. I’d rather know that I’m not doing anything or taking the table scraps. They can be mad at me all they want, but they should know that I can quit this at the snap of a finger.

I hate being a peon. I’m for labor, but it has to be reasonable. I can quit this damn position anytime I want, and have no regrets. The colleges I’m applying to don’t look for a brag sheet, and I would have enough to fulfill the requirements anyways. No loss to me, since I barely do anything. I’m not concerned with the titles or the “years of experience”. I just want to be given fair tasks, not the ones that everyone else avoids.

If the newspaper editors want cross-country photos, make it official. If I take them, they better fucking publish it. I know that’s not likely to occur. So I refused the assignment.