Let's say I schedule a meeting from 2-3pm. Let's say you're running late. Unless your presence was specifically requested or you have a significant contribution to make, I'd say the latest you should show up is when the meeting is 75% over, which in this case is 2:45pm. After that, it's completely pointless for you to be there, and in most cases your presence will be an unwelcome disruption at an inconvenient time (attention spans seem to hover around 30-40 minutes). And under no circumstance should you be like a colleague of mine and show up exactly when the meeting ends. Some people's actions defy all logic. #business

A woman Wendy works with (ding ding ding -- that's four W's in a row!) scheduled a meeting for Friday at 7am. Here are the reasons why this woman should be fired and/or have her kneecaps broken:

It's Friday. Fridays are light days. You don't start anything new. You don't tackle any big problems. Because when it comes down to it, it can wait until Monday. Everything can wait until Monday. Even your precious meeting.

It's Friday morning. Sometimes Thursday night is party night. Sometimes you get to work a little late because you decided to get the no-fat non-soy mocha dunka chino thing instead of your normal coffee. Either way, Friday mornings are a little slower, because let's face it, it's Friday.

It's Friday morning at 7am. Unless you work in a factory or commute to work before rush hour, work doesn't start until at least 8 or 9. And even though you want to pat yourself on the back because you get there by 6:30, no one else does, and they certainly don't want to start their day with a stupid meeting.

It's weird how angry I am at this woman I've never met whose meeting had absolutely no effect on me. It's the principle. #business

One of my co-workers had a roll of coins in his hand, so I asked him, "Why do you have a roll of quarters?" He said, "It's not a roll of quarters." Realizing he was playing that game, I asked him, "Why do you have a roll of coins?" He answered, "They're dollar coins. It's easier than carrying paper money." I can say with a fair amount of certainty that carrying around $25 worth of dollar coins is absolutely not easier than carrying paper money. I've never heard something so unbelievably false. #money

Why do they even make middle seats anymore? Has anyone ever said, "I get the middle!"? Does anyone actually enjoy being stuck next to not one, but two complete strangers on a plane? The world would be a better place if there was less forced interaction with outsiders. #travel

The day I moved in to my dorm room during my freshman year of college, my new roommate said a funny thing. We were on our way to get dinner at the crappy cafeteria, and he accidentally scratched his face and started bleeding. As we were walking up the stairs, he couldn't get the bleeding to stop, and he simply stated, "It's always something." I feel this way a lot. Some days, whether it's because of my deep-seated cynicism or powers beyond my control, it just seems like if it's not one thing, it's another thing. My hip doesn't hurt anymore, but now my back does. I got my car washed, but now there's a rust stain on one of the floor mats. In the words of the great poet, historian, and American Idol judge Paula Abdul, "I take two steps forward; I take two steps back." How true, Paula. #psychology

My friend's girlfriend has a dog who "has feelings for" a particular blanket. As such, it's called the humper blanket. My friend had two things to say about this practice, neither of which were any consolation:

I witnessed an interesting conversation this past weekend between two friends who hadn't spoken in a while. It consisted almost entirely of idioms, or cliches, or some sort of overly-used phrase that has little to no meaning. Since I can't remember the exact conversation, I'll pretend this is how it went:

Friend 1: I heard it's supposed to rain cats and dogs later. Friend 2: I'll guess we'll have to go back to the drawing board. Friend 1: That would leave a bad taste in my mouth. Friend 2: Later, it'll just be water under the bridge. Friend 1: We could reschedule, that way we'd kill two birds with one stone. Friend 2: And we could keep everything on the straight and narrow. Me: *vomit*

I've noticed a similar pattern with people whose first language is something other than English. They learn the language by watching movies and listening to people speak, and they tend to remember the things they hear most. For my boss, it's things like "the freaky thing" and "all that craps", while for other people it's things like, "Nice to see you; have a good weekend." When it comes down to it, all of human speech is simply a combination of memorized phrases stitched together to create meaning. That's all she wrote; take it or leave it. #psychology

Back in August, we went to the NJ State Fair (it'll always be the Sussex County Farm and Horse Show for me) for the first time in a few years. It was awesome. It's been exactly the same for as long as I can remember. But now that I'm old, I kind of like it.