Ponder this: Have you gone to Dysfunction Junction?

How wonderfully functional or terribly dysfunctional is your life? What does dysfunctional even mean?

Dysfunctional is defined as “not operating normally or properly, deviating from the norms of social behavior in a way regarded as bad.” Who hasn’t done that to some level?

Accept the fact that we all have dysfunctional aspects of our lives, and it will be your decision to determine how much of that dysfunction you allow to bring you down, or inspire you to be better than you are. Celebrate and learn from your dysfunctions, rather then use them as excuses to be miserable and not live up to your potential.

The richest, most famous, powerful and talented among us all have dysfunctional baggage, and anyone who projects they are baggage free is in severe denial. A baggage denial attitude actually creates more baggage as your life’s journey continues.

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Why? Denial detracts from being personally accountable, excuses become more prominent, and as a result the baggage is rarely unpacked.

This generates more confusion and complexities, potentially resulting in even more baggage. The less you are in control of your present dysfunctions, the less able you are to build a strong character, or generate much self-respect.

Without a sense of control and being part of your own future, you have no clear direction where your life may lead. The trunk of your life is never empty. It is filled with childhood memories both good and bad, decisions you have made both right and wrong, and relationships both connected and broken. It is the process of working to correct detrimental dysfunctions that enhances the nature and spirit of who you are, and what you wish to become.

As noted spiritual author Eckhart Tolle said, “If the structures of the human mind remain unchanged, we will always end up re-creating the same world, the same evils, the same dysfunction.”

Although this may refer to the macro level of human existence, it also directly applies to the micro level of our individual lives. To repeat unhealthy patterns of behavior will only create unhealthy aspects of our lives. Challenges and insecurities encountered are opportunities to be a better you.

There have been times in my own life where I have been proud and also ashamed of how I have handled personal and family dysfunctions. Reflecting, discussing and implementing the core values you believe are most important for a fulfilling life is key to lightening the load of dysfunction. There is no perfect life, no perfect family, no life exactly like another, and no life without trials, and tribulations.

As author Sarah Pekkanen said, “You know the definition of a dysfunctional family, don’t you? It’s any family with more than one member in it.”

Perspective is also an essential component to dealing with the dysfunctions of everyday life. Be humble and thoughtful enough to accept and realize that there are many who may be dealing with greater life challenges than yourself.

A self-pity party does little to create a celebration of personal self-respect, confidence or resiliency. Our stuff is what creates us, challenges us, inspires us and forces us to make decisions in our lives. It is the culmination of our upbringing, education, experiences, relationships, successes, failures, joys and disappointments that form the very substance of our character.

It is also essential to understand that you do not have control over the dysfunctions of others, as they are unique to everyone, and everyone must deal with them in their own way.

We pack our own bag for our own journey, and the contents are different for each of us. In the context of your character, it will be honesty that is the primary attribute to overcoming dysfunction. To deny, lie, or be deceitful in how you deal with dysfunctions will only create more challenges, sadness, and personal hardship.

You can never achieve true happiness, or a level of inner peace, when what you project is not a genuine reflection of who you are. Enjoy the journey, as it is not all that bad when you begin to love who you are, recognize the love in others, and realize there are those who love you.

Jay Rifenbary, a Saratoga Springs resident, is president of Rifenbary Training & Development and author of “No Excuse!”, “True To Your Core” and his new release “Return To Your Core.” Contact Jay at jay@rifenbary.com, and for more information, visit www.rifenbary.com. “Ponder This” appears alternating Mondays in The Saratogian.