How to Become a Person Everyone Wants to Know

You've seen them before, the people that everyone wants to know. They are charming and likable. They seem to light up a room. With a little work and dedication, you can make yourself into one of these people, so that you can be the center of your next party.

Practice gratitude. If you're thankful for the things in your life, it shows. It also overflows to the people in your life because you show you are grateful for them. To learn to be more grateful, try keeping a gratitude journal where you write down 2 to 3 things you are thankful for every day. You can also use social media as your "journal," making a gratitude post everyday.[1]

Find your passion. People like other people who have passion and who are able to have fun with their work. If you find what you're passionate about, more people will want to know you, especially if they are passionate about the same things.[2]

If you don't know where to begin, try joining local hobby clubs, which you can find through your parks and recreation department. You can also try checking out books on various topics from the library.

Ground yourself before social events. If you're going to meet someone or going to a party, take a moment to find your center by grounding yourself. Basically, you want to make yourself be present for your encounter, so you're clearing your mind.[3]

Close your eyes. Feel the weight of your body on the ground in your feet and on the chair you're sitting on. Breathe in deeply, counting to four. Breathe out deeply, also counting to four. Focus on your center, and keep breathing until you feel your mind clearing.[4]

Look people in the eye. You'd be surprised how few people can actually hold your eye contact. Looking someone in the eye makes you appear confident and happy. If you need to, take some time to practice with friends or family beforehand.[5]

Put a smile on your face. Smiles make you appear happy and confident. Plus, it makes other people feel more comfortable around you. When you're meeting or conversing with people, be sure to smile often.[6]

Focus your attention. Don't be distracted by other things when you're trying to converse with someone. Put away your phone. Don't look off into the distance or at the television screen. Keep your attention on the conversation, and make sure you say that with your body language as well.[7]

Use people's names. When you meet someone for the first time, try saying it back to them, such as "Hello, Joe, good to meet you." Also, try using it again in the first conversation. You shouldn't force it, but people do like to hear the sound of their own name. Therefore, you saying it makes you more likable.[10]

Compliment people. Everyone likes to hear nice things about themselves. However, they must be genuine compliments. That means that you pick something that you actually do appreciate about the person and make sure to say it with intention, not in an offhand way.[11]

You don't have to just praise someone's outfits or looks. Try for other compliments, such as, "I always love how sunny you are!" or "You seem to be glowing with happiness today."

Skip the complaints. Yes, you've got problems in your life but so does everybody else. When conversing with other people, focus on what's going well in your life. You'll be happier, and more people will want to be around you.[12]

Be yourself. You probably think you can't be yourself because you have too many weird idiosyncrasies. However, most people appreciate when a person is being honest, right down to the quirks. So don't be afraid to just be yourself.[13] People can tell when you're being genuine and often find that quality likable.[14]

Take time to listen. If you're always dominating the conversation, people aren't going to be around you. People like to talk about themselves, so give them a chance to do so. Ask questions, and try to let the other person talk more than you do.[15]

For instance, try asking open questions instead of closed questions. A closed question is one that can be answered with a "yes" or "no." On the other hand, an open question encourages discussion. For instance, instead of asking "Do you like your job?" you could ask, "What do you like about your job?"

One way to get people talking about themselves is to ask them about their lives. Ask about their jobs, kids, and pets. Those three things will usually get people talking.

Hear what other people are saying. When you give people a chance to talk, actually pay attention to what they are saying. Don't just be formulating what you are going to say next. You can show you are listening by nodding along, repeating back a synopsis of what the person said, and asking questions related to what the person said.[16]

Don't brag. Nobody likes to hear about all the millions of awards you've won. They'd rather get to know you as a person, so skip the bragging.[17]

It doesn't hurt to praise other people, though. In fact, it makes you look humble and giving.[18]

However, you shouldn't brush off compliments completely. When someone offers you a compliment, just say "Thank you." or "I appreciate that." Brushing off compliments can make you seem like you are trying to be too humble, which can turn people off as well.

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Community Q&A

You can point it out to those involved with a quick witty remark like, "Well, that was awkward, let's talk about [...] instead." You can prepare three current topics ahead of time and keep them in mind, or make a mental note of what topics have already been talked about in this conversation and return to one of them. Of course, small talk is always an exit. Talk about someone's kids, an exam, the weather, work, traffic, sports, who's in love with whom, etc.

It's OK to be quiet. In general, whatever you want to receive, you should give first. So if you want more people to talk to you, talk to more people. Now, you needn't talk to everyone every day starting tomorrow. Just say hi to one or two new people this week. Say hi, say your name, ask how they are doing, listen more than you speak. Keep it short; if it's true, say you really liked your little conversation and that you look forward to the next one. Before you know it, they'll say hi to you and things will take off.

While this ought to come naturally, the fact is that some family members often love what they hope a person will become or behave like. Thus, conforming to expectations can often win love, but this isn't always genuine or ideal love. Be your normal self, act maturely and be considerate of other family members and unconditional love received as a result of behaving this way will be more likely to be authentic. Where this fails, consider that maybe the expectations of that family member are a little too demanding and you're still a great person regardless.

I'm a drama queen but want to start fresh. What can I do so people want to know me?

Answered by
Craftflower

It is good to have goals for self improvement, but your goal should not be simply wanting people to like you. Define your goals clearly. For example, your goal might be "I want to get into fewer arguments," or, "I want to be more mindful of how my actions affect other people's feelings." A good tip is to talk less, listen more. Spend some time listening because it helps you to better understand those around you. Talk less until you get better at controlling your words and not getting into arguments. It takes time to learn how to think before you speak. Avoid gossip, that is a sure way to get yourself caught up in drama.