2. VICE PRESIDENT JEJOMAR BINAY, SEN. BONG REVILLA, AND REP. LANI MERCADO PERSONALLY DISTRIBUTE RELIEF GOODS TO SENDONG VICTIMS. The problem with politicians is that you never know if they’re being genuinely kind or if they’re just laying the groundwork for the next elections.

3. RETIRED MAJOR GENERAL JOVITO PALPARAN IS ON THE RUN. What’s the excuse for this snafu? Too busy with Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo again?

5. THE RUMOR ABOUT TV5 BOSS MANNY PANGILINAN BUYING GMA NETWORK INC. GETS OUT OF HAND. It’s not exactly the best way to get your stock prices to go up.

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<>6. BABIES BORN ON CHRISTMAS DAY ARE CONSIDERED LUCKY. But not if people just give them one gift for both their birthday and Christmas. (It’s like, "Buy one gift, you’re set for two events!")
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<>7. REGAL FILMS’ YESTERDAY, TODAY, AND TOMORROW GETS DISQUALIFIED FROM FOUR MMFF CATEGORIES, "MOTHER LILY" MONTEVERDE IN TEARS. The MMFF organizers just miss Mano Po so much.
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<>8. TO SHOW SHE SUPPORTS MOTHER LILY, MARICEL SORIANO BOYCOTTS THE MMFF AWARDS NIGHT. The fact that they still named her Best Actress despite her "protest no-show" only increases the size of her...for lack of a better word...balls.
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<>9. P-NOY REVEALS HE’S NOT PLANNING TO QUIT SMOKING ANYTIME SOON. Well, at least he’s honest.
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<>10. A MARIA OZAWA IMPOSTOR PULLS A NUMBER ON PINOY FANS OF THE JAPANESE PORN STAR, ASKING THEM TO AUDITON FOR A SKIN FLICK. Like we said, it’s damn hard to think before you click when your brain isn’t the one doing the thinking.
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<>Art by Warren Espejo, with screenshots from Facebook and TV network news clips