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Tips To Cope With Infertility

Posted Sunday, September 14, 2008 9:51 PM

Dealing with infertility is not at all simple or easy for couples, especially the longer their treatment continues. As time goes on, the relationship can become strained. The couple begins to just go through the motions of being a couple, not really caring about anything—except the fertility treatments. And then even those may become wearisome. The couple begins to fight about anything and everything.

This is not how dealing with infertility should be, however. And it certainly isn’t how couples want it to be. So, couples need to try these tips on dealing with the day-to-day headaches and heartache.

First of all, couples need to make a rule about intercourse. There needs to be a distinct difference between intercourse as dictated by fertility charts or other reasons of baby-making and intercourse simply for pleasure. Perhaps the fertility intercourse could be confined to one specific room, whereas other intercourse could be anywhere. Couples need to get creative to keep romance in the relationship so that all lovemaking doesn’t become routine and by-the-books.

The next tip on dealing with infertility involves all of the fertility talk. If couples aren’t careful, they could end up talking about treatment options, costs, places, and other details all the time. They should set a time limit as to how long they can talk about anything having to do with fertility and stick with it. This way, life will not revolve around the infertility problem.

In dealing with infertility, both members of the couple need time for themselves. Both people need to be able to have some breathing room so that they can just get away, mentally and physically. Pencil those times into the schedule—literally—so that each person gets alone time.

Another way to help in dealing with infertility is for couples to find ways to laugh. So, couples should rent comedic movies or find some fun activities to try together. There’s a saying, “Laughter is the best medicine.” Well, that saying is pretty true--laughter has been proven to be wonderful therapy.

But, couples do need to remember that they cannot be the only support for each other. People need more than one person on whom they can rely for emotional support. So, another important tip on dealing with infertility has to do with finding emotional support. Each member of the couple needs friends or relatives (or even a counselor or therapist) whom they can unload on—and, who won’t be judgmental or selfish about their own needs.

One of the most crucial tips in dealing with infertility, though, is one that hasn’t yet been mentioned. This tip is for the couple to make a pact not to point any fingers at each other, not to blame each other for the infertility problems they are experiencing. Nothing good can come of blaming another person, and a lot of bad can come of it.

These tips for dealing with infertility will not solve any direct problems, but hopefully they will help some couples to stabilize their relationships—and become happier in the process.