George Clooney: My Dog is a 'Food Whore'

George Clooney can get any woman he wants. Dogs, on the other hand, have no appreciation for graceful aging and a full head of hair.

Clooney says he saw a video on an animal shelter website. It featured “Einstein,” an adorable pup who is “part cocker spaniel or something,” according to Clooney.

“So I go online and see Einstein,” Clooney explained. They had a whole film about him. It was actually really sweet. You see him all beat up in the shelter, and they show how they cleaned him up. So I called and said, ‘I like Einstein!’ The woman goes, ‘Well, we don’t know if Einstein will like you.’ ‘Well, can I meet with Einstein?’ She says, ‘Yes, we’ll bring him to your house, but if he doesn’t like you, he can’t stay. We have to have good homes for these dogs.’ She sounded very serious.”

Okay, I’m guessing bringing the dogs to people’s houses isn’t standard practice. Uh, yeah, Mr. Clooney...I need to come to your house. For you know, the dog. Also, I’m going to have to make out with you. Einstein wants it that way.

“I open the gate for them, and I start to panic that Einstein is not going to like me,” Clooney continued. "So I run into the kitchen, where I have these turkey meatballs, and I rub them all over my shoes.”

And the ploy worked.

“This woman opens the door, and who knew Einstein was such a food whore on top of everything?” Clooney said. “He throws himself at my feet.”

Clooney says he and Einstein have had a great relationship ever since:

“He loves me. I can do no wrong. He follows me everywhere,” George said.

Congrats, Einstein, have fun with your owner. Just never mention marriage.