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everyday feminism

What If We Thought Of Gender Like Ice Cream? It Makes Sense, Here’s Why

Gender identity is a deeply personal issue that many people still have trouble understanding and respecting.

Unlearning restrictive binary genders is a process, but one that is well worth the effort.

This comic highlights the importance of looking past restrictive ideas of gender and embracing the idea that every identity is ‘real’ and deserves to be respected. After all, each person knows themselves best.

With Love, The Editors at Everyday Feminism

Click for the Transcript

Text Above Panels: If it’s not okay to treat your friends like this…

Title text:What’s with all those trendy new genders?

Panel 1

(Two people are talking.)

Rob: Everywhere I look people are claiming they’re one of these ‘alternative’ genders!

RH: You mean, like me?

Panel 2

(Rob is talking.)

Rob: Well, yeah! It all seems to be kind of a fad! Right now it’s trendy to say you’re not a man or a woman, but if all of this ‘genderqueer’ and ‘nonbinary’ stuff are real genders, why weren’t there any of you when I was a kid!?

Panel 3

(RH is talking.)

RH: Oh, we were always there! But a lot of us didn’t have the language or the tools to know there were options.

Panel 4

(RH is talking.)

RH: Hmm, think about it like this:

Panel 5

RH (text above panel): What if there were a world where people were only allowed to like chocolate ice cream or vanilla ice cream? Not only that, they were told that the only ice cream flavours that were physically possible were chocolate or vanilla.

(A diverse group of people, holding ice cream.)

Breanne: I love chocolate!

Dristy: Vanilla is great!

Martin: Chocolate for me, please!

(Iva looks ambivalent.)

Iva: Um…I guess….vanilla is fine.

(Charles is turning away from the ice cream offered by person 6.)

Charles: I don’t like ice cream…

Winnie: Everyone likes ice cream! You look like a vanilla person to me… here you go!

Panel 6

(Hands holding a dessert menu with two items on it.)

RH (text beside panel): In all the grocery stores, in all the restaurants, any time it’s dessert time you have to choose between chocolate or vanilla.

Panel 7

RH (text above panel): But then imagine that someone new came to town to sell ice cream…

Handan: All these new ice-cream flavours are just trendy. Soon you’ll come to your sense and realize that you liked chocolate the most all along.

Panel 9

(RH is talking to another person.)

RH:Of course it makes sense that when there are more than two ice cream flavours, people would realize that they like other flavours more than they like the two they were initially exposed to.

(Samuel looks concerned.)

Samuel: But robot, gender isn’t ice cream! That’s super reductive!

Panel 10

(RH is talking.)

RH: It sure IS super reductive! Gender isn’t a preference, and it’s not a flavour of the week. It’s an identity that shapes how we understand ourselves, and how we present ourselves to the world.

Panel 11

(A group of people with different gender presentations.)

Panel 12

(RH is talking and holding ice cream, next to a form with different gender options.)

RH: But if we agree that gender is a complex and fundamental identity and that it’s way more complicated than ice cream, then why do we still cling to the idea that it’s a simple binary?And as non-binary genders are getting more attention in governments and media, is it no wonder that people who are realizing they have more options are choosing to exercise those options?

Panel 13

(RH and two people are talking.)

RH: I promise you, from the amount of scorn we get from both cisgender folks

Todd: You just want to be ‘special’!

RH: And some of the binary trans community.

Jenn: ‘Trans-trender!’

RH: We’re not just doing this for fun.

Panel 14

(Rob and RH are talking.)

Rob:Well, I see what you’re saying. But I have to admit, I still don’t really understand what it means when you say you’re not a woman or a man.

RH: That’s ok! The most important thing is to listen to us, and to trust us that we know ourselves best, whether it’s about our ice cream preferences or our gender identity!

K is a Contributing Comic Artist at Everyday Feminism. K is a Canadian, non-binary, genderqueer, peoplequeer, mentally ill, critical feminist robot. They have a background in linguistics, information, privacy, and categorization, and human-centric design. They are the artist and writer for Robot Hugs, a twice-weekly webcomic about (among other things) gender, identity, feminism, mental health, and cats. In their spare time, they provide peer education and workshops on negotiation, consent, and identity. In their spare-spare time, their hobbies include worrying about things they can’t control and knitting. Check out their comics here.