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Active Duty Coast Guard member raped

Anonymous, United States Coast Guard

I was raped. They investigated and found not enough evidence to prosecute him. I still have to see him everyday. I receive text and phone calls from his wife because she says that I am out to ruin their marriage. I reported his wife but they could not do anything because what she is saying is not criminal.

Everyone else thinks that I am a liar. I lost all the friends and support that I had. I can’t live like this much longer. Why doesn’t the Coast Guard care about rape survivors?

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5 comments

i wish you were able to see that there are people that care about you. i dont think you are a liar. please dont give up because that would be a terrible loss….all survivors thnk like this and it just takes time. the fact is that you are living and you can get through this. you have to start caring about yourself and realize that you cant change how other people think or act.only yourself. i recently went through an intense inpatient treatment program for mst and learned the process i need to use to help myself. please dont give up!

I am so sorry this is happening to you. WE care and WE are listening. I know that’s not helping while you’re stuck at your Command and having to see your rapist every day. His wife IS harassing you. If you’ve told her to stop and she isn’t, then she is guilty of stalking, which IS a criminal act and should be pursued. PLEASE DOCUMENT EVERYTHING. There is nothing more important than documentation, even if you feel hopeless right now. Keep a journal, print out copies of text messages, and get statements from anyone who knows what you’re going through – even if they’re not in the CG (like your Mom, outside friends, etc – “she was happy until…”, “I remember when she told me…”, “I remember she started crying…”). Make copies of your marks before and after the incident… so much of this may seem like it won’t help now, but it WILL should you be faced with an Administrative Separation. The fact your case was investigated shows there was credible evidence to do so. GET A COPY of CGIS’s documentation. I went through one that couldn’t be prosecuted way back in the late 80’s – that was hell – but when I was raped in 2004, I fought an Admin Sep for “Adjustment Disorder” and insisted on a PTSD screening. I included a narrative of the history of my assaults, bullying and rape while in the CG and my CO actually remembered my case from back in the 80’s, even though he never learned my identity then, and that was what helped him believe me. He supported me and I got my PTSD diagnosis AND my retirement. I am an anomoly in the CG, though, because I did “suck it up and deal with it” as basically a condition of my continued employment. You are not alone.

What happened to you really was terrible. You were a victim from the rape and when you tried to speak honestly, no one believed you. Please live on. You are worth so much and deserve more than this. Your perpretrators deserve to be dead.

I was assaulted by a soldier in my husbands unit two months after my husband left for Afghanistan. The CoC went as far as they could but I just received news that there is not enough evidence to prosecute. He is being chartered for multiple behavioral infractions, but when he is chaptered, the no contact order will lift and because charges aren’t being filed, I will not feel safe off of the installation, or in the cyber world. I am grieved that nothing further will be pursued.