Quote:Okay here is mine and I know it's true because I did it. Oh and before I get started don't give a rat's ass what you think of the validity HB so keep it to yourself... Will be long but a good story.

Worked in a warehouse back in the day where most everyone brought their lunch daily. Long hours so everyone carried these giant "lunch boxes" that looked more like coolers....blue collar boys and their eats. If you have ever been in that environment you know what I am talking about. You also know food stealing is a major no-no and retribution for stealing lunches can be ugly. Just part of the culture. Anyway some guy is stealing food out of a lot peoples lunches. He would kind of go through boxes in the big break room and pick through what he wanted and the SOB would leave say the apple core or wrappers and half eaten sandwiches and throw them back int the lunch box. Insult to injury. Anyway so he does this to me too but nobody knew for sure who was doing it.

My solution: First, I made a kick ass looking burrito with all the yummy fixings but with a twist. A mixed in a healthy helping of dog sh*t from the backyard into the beans an mixed it up real good. I was amazed how well refried beans could mask the scent. I went to the store and bought a nice juicy plumb and brought it home to "doctor" it up a bit. I borrowed a needle from my Dad back on the farm that we used for injecting meds into cattle and used it to suck some of the juice. I then replaced said juice with a healthy helping of india ink. For those of you who don't know that ink is used in printing, stains badly, and is near impossible to wash off. They guy did take the bait and ate a few bites out of my dog sh*t burrito (I still don't know how he could not tell) and he obviously took a big bite out of the plumb because soon Sean (yes his real name) comes out with black ink all down his face, chin, hands, and shirt. You could tell he had been to the bathroom trying to wash it off because his T-Shirt is soaked. No hiding who had been the lunch thief now and everyone knows it. He wore his "Scarlet letter" for about a week before it faded enough not to be noticeable. The amount of hell, scorn, and pointed jokes he took for months and months was brutal. Interestingly enough nobody ever messed with my lunch again.

Moral....don't fvck with 01's food.

+1000

This has to be one of the funniest posts I have ever read here.

Great Story! Fvcker got just what he deserved!

_________________________"We live at a very special time: the only time when we can observationally verify that we live at a very special time!" - Lawrence Krauss