Thursday, August 15, 2013

Back to the Ralph (despite all the bullshit parking lot restrictions) Friday at 7:00 against the Minnesota Vikings. Plus, it is kids day aka $1 dog night and awkward Canadians swearing in front of a ton of children, pay dirt!

Normally these preseason games are about as boring and useless as the Buffalo Sabres but a new coach, a new rookie quarterback and a new sense of (gasp) optimism? Maybe? Wait, why the hell is Kevin Kolb starting? Is Christian Ponder's wife gonna be there?

On the bright side the 2 to 3 snaps psycho Jared Allen will be on the field will be against ol' Kolb-er right? Then again, if I have to stay into the 3rd quarter to see Erik James Manuel in person I'm gonna be pissed.

Quick Hits:

Don't play CJ Spiller

No Kiko Alonso sucks

Is Crezdon Butler really going to supplant Mr $5 mil himself Leodis McKelvin as the second starting CB?

Will Manuel actually throw a deep ball? Probs

Don't play Cliff Spiller

I'm interested to see if Nate Hackett really is the big monster in cartoons that pets their cat too much and accidentally kills it or not.

I'm going to predict Marquise Goodwin has another house call.

Is Marcell Dareus alive?

Will Pettine's defense come out in a 3-4?

Place kicking will be a highlight of the game and young buck Dustin Hopkins better not boot another friggen kickoff outta bounds.