50 Acts That Would Totally Blow Up At SXSW 2011 If They Existed

Let's get serious for a minute before this bash begins, and admit that we all check some SXSW acts for no reason other than their badass, if not hilarious names. Because of sweet handles, I wound up at a Tittsworth dance party two years ago, and I'll be hitting at least one Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr. show next week.

With that said, I'm offering 50 potential winning names from my extensive collection, which could come in handy for artists who split from their bands en route to 6th Street and need to re-group. It's never too late to become the next Austin phenomenon - in fact we see an overwritten Pitchfork blowjob in your immediate future.

Feel free to use all or any of these, and to act as if you deserve the attention that your cool new brand attracts. I want nothing in return, though a poster and tour t-shirt would be awesome. I wear a large most of the time, but usually drop down to a medium at SXSW with all the diarrhea, drugs, and dehydration. See you all in Texas.