The only F word that was on her lips when she left my studio was “fabulous”.

The most common objection I hear when I ask ladies if they’ve ever had a boudoir session, or when they’d like to book is: “I’m too fat.” Or“Maybe when I lose some weight.”

“Fat” is a word that keeps us from doing so many things. It holds us back from enjoying life.

“I wish I could wear that.” You can but we tell ourselves that we can’t because we have a certain image of ourselves that doesn’t meet the reality that we see in the mirror.

“I can’t go to the gym. I don’t want anyone to see how fat I am.” Please tell me that you see the irony in that. You don’t need to apologize for your body to anyone. You have every right to exist. Stop letting the word “fat” define you.

It's lights out during intimate moments, or we suck in your stomach every time our partner reaches out to touch it.

“I don’t look good in lingerie.” You don’t have to wear lingerie to feel sexy. Sexy is really just a mindset. It’s my job to help to you get into that mindset. If you feel sexy in a loose t-shirt and some boyshorts, then buckle up. Because there’s more than one road to sexyville. .

Who said anything about lingerie? A lace gown with nothing on underneath highlights curves that don't quit.

“I’m too fat to do a boudoir session. I’ll do it when I lose ten pounds.” Wrong. You’re too afraid to do a photo session. You’re putting off an event that is a huge confidence booster, and can even give you the jump-start you need to a healthy lifestyle. Consider the idea of doing a “before” and “after” boudoir session: do a session now and come back after you’ve reached your goal weight.

Your internalized shame shuts you down and diminishes the brightness of who you are. We are far harder on ourselves than the world is. Be fearless, not fat.