Navigating Through The Treacherous Waters Of Love And Relationships? So Is Ghostface Killah.

You know the old saying; “Wu Tang imitates life”…Or is it the other way around?

To catch you up on what I’ve been up to, in the past month, I’ve all but abandoned every previous responsibility I’ve had in order to get my relationship chamber in order.

By “responsibilities”, I of course mean posting A.G. videos on this non-BMA award winning blog, checking in on Facebook, and creating whatever internet content I can to bolster my non existent fame.

I’ve been laid up with my boo, doing the Kenny Powers thang. She calls me “Babe”, I call her “Chestnut” – because I bust nuts on her chest.

We went to the Gardner Museum and checked out some Rembrandts. All we took from that experience is that bitch Isabella didn’t fuck with nann one Black artist. How you have a billion dollars worth of art and it’s all depictions of bug eyed pasty bitches?

We hit up the Barking Crab for a lil seafood. Shit was straight, except the fact they had a raging fireplace burning while people are trying to eat. Apparently, Anglo-Saxons love the experience of charred mesquite force-fucking their nostrils as they munch on octopus legs. We both now have Adult Onset Asthma, but them clams sure was worth it.

We did Thanksgiving and Christmas. I cooked the turkeys for both them shits. We attended a loft party, watched Diana Ross in Mahogany, fucked on the bathroom floor, discussed replacing the kitchen table, and shared the flu for three days. We do everything together.

She told me how much she loves J.D. Salinger. I printed out the story “A Perfect Day For Bananafish” and thought it would be romantic for us to take turns reading the story out loud to each other. The Hollywood director in me ruined the experience by insisting she read one of the parts like a Long Island Jewish woman. “No! BE the part…he wrote it like that for a reason!” ……..”Nonononono…again…more Jewish…like nasally!” We got through three paragraphs before she gave up.

It’s been nice. This is the stability I’ve needed over the years. A car, wifey, a fucking kitchen table…who am I?

A concern I’ve had, though, is that I need to moderate relationship time with Supa Rockin DJ ON&ON time. I’ve got some out of state shows, a new radio show, an album dropping, and miscellaneous appearances all scheduled in the upcoming weeks. Will weeks of laying up in bed discussing feelings fuck with my mojo? When I host Knife’s New Years Twerkfest contest, will I pull each contestant aside and promise them there’s a better life out there for them? I gotta figure shit out with the quickness.

Back to the Wu Tang shit.

So last night, me and Mrs. Cohen are in bed watching whatever is most conducive to destroying brain cells, when the trailer for Celebrity Couples Therapy Season 4 comes on.

Who do I see?

Tony.

Starks.

Oldface Ghostface. Cocaine Arms.

I was silent. I thanked God. I knew I was on the right path.

I envisioned Ghostdini trapped in this relationship rehab clinic for weeks on end as the well to his creative juices slowly dries up. Will he still be able to rattle off names that begin with the letter “K” in his songs?

“Keema dippin darts in my Clark’s – that ain’t right!”

“Kimba on the couch with this broccoli soup head ass nigga – Fuck a baby leg!”

Stay with us Ghost! Don’t lose your magic!

As I watched the trailer, it dawned on me. Ghost is the only dude that showed up to relationship rehab with not one, but two women. Done and done.

Ghost will always be Ghost, regardless of relationship type shit. I can do this.

Not only will I host the fuck out of that Twerk contest, but I will enter Mrs. Cohen in it, she’ll win the 5 stacks, which we’ll use to purchase a new kitchen table (with three legs) that I will fuck her on.

Anyways, check out the trailer, and lend me your thoughts.

A lot of rappers look down on mc’s that choose to sign up for reality tv shit. Who would’ve guessed GHOSTFACE would be the one to put his shit out there.

I just know I’ll be soaking up Ghosts words of relationship wisdom on a weekly basis. Wu is life, and life is good.