Marilyn Z. Tomlins

Die in Paris

A spring night in Paris. Suddenly the night's stillness is shattered by sirens and excited voices. For days foul smoke has been pouring from the chimney of an uninhabited house close to the Avenue des Champs-Elysées. Police and fire fighters race to the house to break down the bolted door. They make a spine-chilling discovery. The remains of countless human beings are being incinerated in a furnace in the basement. In a pit in an outhouse quicklime consumes still more bodies. Neighbors say they hear banging, pleading, sobbing and cries for help come from inside the house deep at night. They say a shabbily-dressed man on a green bike pulling a cart behind him comes to the house, always at dawn, or dusk.

The house belongs to Dr. Marcel Petiot - a good-looking, charming, caring, family physician who lives elsewhere in the city with his wife and teenage son. Is he the shabbily-dressed man on the green bike? If so, what has he to say about the bodies?

Marilyn Z.Tomlins is a freelance journalist. She lives and works in Paris, France.

Lavender Honey starts on the 5th of April 2008 – works through to the present day with a mixture of funny and amusing posts about life in the South of France.

Now, I know what you’re all waiting for and I won’t tease you any longer.

Yes, Lavender Honey traveled to Villefranch sur Mer just to take this lovely photo of a lovely Citroen 2CV!

And it’s a blue one and, as we all know, the blue ones go faster!

Doesn’t it look stunning in front of that pink bougainvillea? I

sometimes wonder if God invented pink bougainvillea just so that Citroen 2Cvs could park in front of it. “And on the eighth day…”

Enough of the blasphemy!

But isn’t it a girlie blog, full of fashion and all that?

There are plenty of posts on this blog about shoes and similar fashion related things.

If you’re like me however, and wear one pair of wellies all year round, these posts won’t interest you (and before you say anything, I’ll have you know that I’m one of the civilised wellie wearers in Brittany; I take mine off before I go to bed!)

This particular post did interest me slightly though, as it shows a pair of ballerina flats inspired by the lovely Vanessa Paradis (it is a slight exaggeration to say that I moved to France just to be nearer to Vanessa; but, only a very slight one!)

Mrs A Taste of Garlic (usually known as the Girlie) was rather interested in the yellow frock shown in On Fashion Watch.

Very nice, I suppose, if you like that sort of thing but, not very practical for mucking out the pigsty!

It’s not natural, it aint!

You may notice that I’ve avoided all mention of the having a baby parts of this blog.

This is mainly because I still think that there is something slightly unnatural about the whole process.

This is possibly as a result of my mid-wife taking one look at me, when I was born, and saying…. “It ain’t natural, it ain’t!”

Funny how those little things stay with you all your life, isn’t it?

I’m sure the girlies amongst the visitors here will find those bits (and the hundreds of knitting posts) without too much trouble!

Something really rather natural is this lovely, thoughtful and culturally aware post entitled… Ludivine vs Lou which is all about…. well, Ludivine Sagnier and Lou Doillon with little or no clothes on! Nice, really very nice!

The bits about balls…

As Lavender Honey is based in the Provence, I expected lots of posts about Pétanque – well, it’s almost obligatory, isn’t it?

And what trip to the Provence would be complete without a visit to the Pétanque Mondial – the world championships of boules. It’s all in the wrist movement, I believe – and how you hold them, of course!

For anyone really really posh, Lavender Honey suggest this Louis Vuitton Pétanque Set. I’m not so sure though… Up here in rural Brittany we play Boules Breton – much the same except our balls are bigger – and my biggest problem seems to be avoiding the cow pats – I’m not sure these balls would really help (and anyway, they’d be a bugger to clean afterwards!)

Anything about cars?

Of course! Lavender Honey likes ‘em small and dreams of buying a Mini Cooper. Personally, I can’t see what’s wrong with a good old 2CV (as long as it’s a blue one – they go faster, you know) but what do I know?

Finally, at the end of an Endless Road, she gets one (a Mini Cooper, that is) and sure enough, it’s blue!

As everyone knows, Snails lie at the heart of a nutritious breakfast. And, if in your household they don’t, perhaps they should? Lavender Honey admits to loving escargots – Good for you girl!

Did you know that it’s been scientifically proven that a bowl of snails a day guarantees that you’ll live well past your 100th birthday and will be having rampant sex right up until your very last minutes.

Just… stay off the drink. This woman didn’t and I think she’s regretting it now!

Lavender Honey admits that one of the things she… “loves most about France is that all-things-old are celebrated. Actresses of-a-certain-age keep their silver hair, avoid Botox, and most photographs are not Photoshopped.”

I agree – it must be something to do with all those snails they eat! But you can see for yourself in Wrinkles and all!

So, summing up….

Well, me being me, my favourite post is probably the one called Don’t take life sitting down! It’s all about a contraption (and there’s really no better word for it) that allows women to pee standing up. It’s strange, Old Pierre who ives down the road has got a sister who can do that but she don’t need a contraption?

Anyway, I’ll warn you; there is a video to go with the post. I haven’t watched it and probably never will.

Women peeing standing up? That really is unnatural!

But, if that doesn’t put you off and you like babies and knitting.

Or even if you just like a well written blog with lots of photos (only one of a 2CV I’m afraid) then you really ought to come down and have a good slurp of Lavender Honey. It tastes lovely!

And me?

Well, I’m really rather hungry and I have heard that, in the village of Lurs, there is Une Table Á L’Extérior. So I’m for there for a spot of lunch!

Garçon! Who do I have to sleep with round here to get a gallon of that vin d’orange?

P.S. I may have just lied, ever so slightly, about all that living well past your 100th birthday and having rampant sex right up until your very last minutes bit. Sorry.