Friday, February 01, 2008

Maybe if she was sober she would never have chosen to sleep with that guy. Maybe he coaxed her into it. But on those terms, is it okay for the girl to then cry rape?

(Emphasis mine)

The article comes complete with rape apologist terminology, apparently. Here's a newsflash for this author: If you're drunk, you can't legally consent. So yes, legally, she can "cry rape". I don't understand why people are so eager to dismiss the terrible behavior of men.

Although this passage here is certainly the kicker as far as every rape apologist tactic known to humankind is concerned. I think the author of this article manages to fit every single one of them in here. Check it out:

Let me paint you another picture. At a frat party, there is a girl scantily clad in a mini skirt (so short, by the way, you can almost see the bottom of her ass), and a tank top with a plunging neckline. She is downing, and subsequently refilling her solow cup of jungle juice. She then picks out a brother who she wants to be her so-called “project” of the night. The two engage in flirtatious conversation and touching. Both are drunk, and it is obvious that she wants him. After an hour of being all over each other he asks her if she wants to “see his room” and she follows him upstairs. They begin to get down to business and in about a minute they are both naked on the frat boy’s bed. He asks if she wants to “you know” and she says “yes.” After he has successfully found and put on a condom he climbs on top of her and the right when he is at the cusp, she changes her mind and says drunkenly “actually…” But being so caught up in the moment, he disregards this as momentary insanity on her part and enters her anyway. Who is really to blame in this situation? Yes, the guy should have stopped when she said no, but didn’t she vehemently send the message that sex was what she wanted? I mean, she even showed up to the party looking like pure sex, so who is really at fault?

Let's see.

1) Only slutty girls get raped2) If you consumed alcohol it was your fault3) Men just can't control themselves4) If you flirt with someone, you have a responsibility to fuck them.

I don't think she missed any of them. There is one vile rape apologist tactic after the next there. I also love the "Yeah, he should have stopped, BUT SHE WAS SUCH A SLUT!".

There are some probably some who are reading this article, thinking that I am siding with the male rapists. Let me preempt those thoughts by saying it is never okay for a guy to make any girl do ANYTHING she does not want to do. A guy should never force a girl to even kiss him. But by the same token, we as girls should not lead a guy to believe that he is going to get more then we are willing to give. We should also not get so drunk off our asses that we cannot make the decision to stop. There is a very fine line in these incidents, and they often become blurry when you mix in alcohol and drugs.

I don't understand why women are held accountable for what men perceive to be our meaning. Why do men get to define what certain "signals" mean? And then get to hold women accountable for those definitions through the use of sexual assault? It's absolute bullshit.

So let me reiterate one more time. There is no such thing as "grey rape". If a woman does not give enthusiastic consent, no matter how she was dressed, how much she had to drink, how much she flirted, where she went with a man, where she was, who she was with, etc., IT'S RAPE. The end.

1 comment:

I think rape apologists, female rape apologists in particular, place the blame on the woman so that they feel like they're protecting themselves from being raped. The young woman who wrote this article might be scared to death of getting raped. The only way she thinks she can feel protected from rape is if she assumes responsibility for it. Writing this article is her way or masking her fear of getting raped. Maybe she's a victim of rape herself and doesn't know how to deal. Being a rape victim and a rape apologist is probably extremely crushing.