Venue / Identity Crisis! Help!

My fiance and I are on an extremely tight budget for our wedding. I knew that I needed to be very budget conscious from the beginning, and almost immediately began making spreadsheets comparing venues – I documented and compared everything from catering and bar options, to whether the venue charged extra for bathrooms and parking (I had at least 30 categories). I compared 50 to 60 venues in California (where my fiance and I live) and Virginia (where I grew up). We finally decided to have the wedding in Virginia, and narrowed our venues down to a top three pretty quickly based on overall price.

By process of elimination, we’ve decided to go with the least expensive option – a wedding & reception at a golf course clubhouse, where they provide everything in-house including food, alcohol, all rentals, etc. The only things we’ll need to provide are a “DJ” (we’re going to have my brother run an iPod), cake, a photographer, and any exterior decorations we want to bring in to personalize the space.

We haven’t booked the venue yet, but I’ve been talking with the event coordinator and we have an appointment to go meet him and sign the contract in October, when we will be in Virginia.

Now I’m researching photographers, and the more I look at other people’s wedding photos, the more doubtful I become about my venue. I thought I had it all figured out, but we really made the decision based purely based on the budget, and I’m doubting myself now. I see all of these beautiful weddings in historic venues, barns, locations by the beach, and I wonder if maybe I’m missing the diamond in the rough that will fit our budget AND allow for a special place with beautiful photos. I know that the memories and the experience is what matters, but I’m already sort-or regretting that I’m not going to have those stunning photos that other people have, because our reception will be in a dining room rather than x-y-z amazing place.

I’ve google image searched, and actually found photos from a wedding that took place at the same venue we’ve decided upon. They’re not bad, they’re good photos, but they don’t look “special.” I don’t mean that in a mean way, I just didn’t ever say “wow, I love that”.

Am I being crazy? Should I recognize that I’ve found a nice location that checks all of my “head” boxes (price, location, hassle-free), or should I keep looking for perfect venue that will check all of the “heart” boxes AND fit our budget (which may be impossible, beacuse increasing the budget isn’t an option)?

I know it can’t hurt to look, but I’m almost afraid that if I look and DON’T find something better in our price range, then I’ll be really disappointed rather than just confused.

The last big thing to consider is that the venue we’ve already decided on is very close to my parent’s house – 10 minutes away – so it would be really convenient to get ready at home, and we were planning to offer baby sitting services for family members with kids at my parent’s house during the reception (it’s adults only, to save money). If we were at a venue further away we would need to spend money on a hotel, get ready in a hotel, and we wouldn’t be able to offer babysitting for our families.

So, do I squash the desire for that “perfect” venue and focus on all the great things our current venue provides, or do I keep looking while I still have time?

mcasey4: I feel like I could have written your entire post myself. I’m planning a VA (Hampton Roads area) wedding, but living in TX. I had a vision for a small wedding at a small marina, with very laid-back feel, but we’re going to end up booking a community building that is more traditionally elegant – but a lot more space. Am I sad? A little. But in the end, all the pros of our decision outweigh the fact that I’ll have to re-work my “vision” for the day. We are also having to be extremely budget conscious. Like…less than $10K for everything.<br />I don’t think it would hurt to continue looking, but are there at least some places in the area of the golf club that you and your FI could take photos between ceremony/reception? Virginia itself has so many historical landmarks, you may be able to do a quick photo shoot to get some unique shots.

I don’t think it hurts to look some more, however, it seems you already put in a lot of time and research already. Is there nothing that you can do about sprucing the place up a bit so the pictures are better?

You can always drive down to a historical area or public park and take more pictures with your immediate family and close friends.

With the right photographer and decorations, your place will look and be special! Sometimes those “stunning” venues aren’t so great in person-it’s just good angles and camera work. Also, a lot of those other types of venues (barn, beach, etc) require much more work on your part because you have to do so much on your own… separate tabs for food (which can be hard bc there’s no kitchen on site), liquor, seating, special lighting, tenting due to weather and temperature concerns, etc.

Don’t second guess yourself, it sounds likes the place you found will work great–having a great price and so many things included in that price and proximity to your parents’ house faaar outweighs having that “perfect” venue look. Less work and money for you!

You coud second guess yourself into the next century and be left without a venue at all.

When you are there in October, make time to scout the area and find those sites that will give you the pictures you want. If you take all the pics you can before the wedding(family portraits, bridal portraits etc), you will have time after the ceremony to travel a short distance to take those pics.

Don’t second guess yourself. I always pictured having a rustic or vintage wedding, but our venue ended up being a restaurant with modern decor. Even the colors I would have used wouldn’t work in the space, so I went in a different direction. Maybe splurge on some flowers or something else to make it more ‘special’, but it really sounds like this venue is convenient and budget friendly for you, which is most important! That’s why we went with ours instead of searching for something outside the city that would have been inconvenient for our guests, etc. Our wedding wasn’t the wedding I had imagined but it was still amazing!! Here’s a view of our non-vintage, non-rustic wedding!

mcasey4: I think you’re going to have a beautiful wedding even in what you may see as an “underwhelming” venue! My FI and I are also planning a wedding from far away. We have a really nice venue that we splurged on a little, and I’m STILL second guessing if it was the right decision or if I should have been more cost conscious. Is it too complicated? Will my guests be comfortable? Could I have found a venue I love just as much but more in budget? I think it comes with the wedding planning territory…especially when you aren’t nearby to see things more clearly! It sounds like you really did your research and are getting the most bang for your buck. I say relax, enjoy not having to track down every last fork and knife, and add special personal touches to make your wedding unique. Congrats on choosing a venue!

mcasey4: it really depends on if you want to take the additional time to go look. I would rather look around and feel 100% about my decision. my photographer did unlimited time/locations on the day of. If you are okay with a first look- then maybe you could get someone to do this same thing and take pictures at another location. Or have your reception there and hold your ceremony somewhere else.

Thank you all so much for your responses! This is such an amazing community. After lots of thought, I’m going to keep looking for a “perfect” venue between now and when I visit in October. If I haven’t found anything by then, I’ll take all of these suggestions and find a great location for photos before-hand, and remember that the wedding isn’t about the venue anyway. 🙂