I love the United States. Where else in the world can you find Veuve Cliquot champagne and spray cheese in the same aisle in the grocery store?

Me and my girlfriends recently went on vacation to Portland, OR, and what a city. It's clean, friendly, well-kept, interesting and pretty even during a rainstorm (which we got caught in for a little while). My friend Scott makes regular trips to Portland and told me to check out Kenny and Zukes for breakfast. On our second day, we found it. When we walked in we were pissed off and wet; caught without umbrellas.

The first thing I noticed was that they sell t-shirts that say "Body by Pastrami" and that's damn hilarious. It made me feel better instantly. It's warm and inviting in there. I love a restaurant that serves you coffee in a real, thick-lipped mug:

Not only do they serve it to you in that most impressive mug, they serve quite possibly the best coffee I've ever tasted. I thought maybe I was just really in the mood for coffee but Jen and Chris both agreed. It's called Stumptown and the varietal was Guatemalan, and although I can't find that particular one on their website I'm sure the others are equally as good. Get your paws on some. Seriously.

I ordered the standard breakfast, two eggs over easy, hashbrowns, rye toast, bacon. Jen had the pastrami breakfast sandwich and Chris had the hash. The eggs are high quality and done perfectly, the potatoes are crunchy but not overdone, and best topped with their homemade hot sauce. The bacon is also high-quality and perfectly done and you know how I feel about bacon. We didn't speak at all during breakfast because it was too delicious. Chris said it was the best breakfast she ever had, and I agreed.

The staff are friendly and quirky and as we sat at the counter, they yakked away for and to us for as long as we were there. The kitchen is open plan and this chef (pictured below) was wearing a t-shirt with his family tree from North Carolina on it and I kept trying to read it, and as a result I think he thought I was creepy. He made sure to turn sideways whenever I was staring blankly at his chest, which was almost constantly:

Poor guy.

If you find yourself in Portland, even for a night or even passing through, this is the best breakfast you can get, full stop. Go there. Go. Do it.

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Welcome to Vancouver Slop. This is a daily food/slop blog from Vancouver, BC, Canada. This blog will review our regular spots, the hype spots that you have to wait in line for, and the gems that even the hipsters have not found out about. It will also diss the spots that have been getting undeserving hype. Enjoy