City of Atlanta Responds to Reports of Mysterious “Long Parallel Potholes” in Downtown Area

ATLANTA–The City of Atlanta has announced that it will investigate claims that very long, parallel potholes have mysteriously appeared in downtown city streets. The potholes are especially perplexing because they remain equidistant for their entire length, and also because each one contains a metal rail of some kind.

“I just don’t have no idea what those dang things could be,” said Cary Yeoner, truck nuts enthusiast. “I mean, what kind of car could make a pair of long potholes like ‘at? Boggles the mind.”

The effected area where the mysterious parallel potholes have appeared is shown below.

The City of Atlanta responded to reporters this morning. Desiré Named, transportation spokesperson, said the parallel potholes will be added to the list of areas needing attention.

Editor In Chief, Founder, and Admiral of Smugness at The Atlanta Banana, Jim Hodgson has an ass for news. Follow him on twitter at @jimhodgson
He is the author of the hilarious Science Fiction novel Dangerous Dan, available now on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback.