Imagine a country where children do nothing but play until they start compulsory schooling at age seven. Then, without exception, they attend comprehensives until the age of 16. Charging school fees is illegal, and so is sorting pupils into ability groups by streaming or setting.

Anna Chapman, whose glamorous appearance won her more publicity in the Western media than all the other illegals combined, was so successfully deceived by a US sting operation that she handed over her SVR laptop to an FBI agent posing as a Russian.