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Tuesday, August 28, 2012

A Selective Snob

I have been accused in my life of
being a snob. Several times it was my
mother who made the accusation, while at other times it was the kid in need of
a bath using his food stamps to purchase energy drinks. The words sometimes sting because, the truth
is, I never saw myself as a snob. Since
high school, I have always been the type to befriend the underdog because most
of my life, I had been that very person.
I’ve known what it felt like to have people gaze down on you with
contempt because you simply didn’t measure up to their standards.

I suppose I was a little snobbish
when I was younger, if I was to be honest with myself. It was toward a cousin that lived with us at
the time. He was a year or two younger
than me and was forever following me around, wanting to do whatever I was
doing. Most of the time, I would allow
him to tag along, but only after undergoing a full inspection that had to pass
my approval. Comb your hair. Change shirts. Don’t talk.

I was brutal. I admit it.
I didn’t want my cousin seen with me unless he looked a certain
way. I didn’t necessarily feel superior,
just cleaner. I had a standard in my way
of thinking and the people I chose to associate with had to meet my
standard.

At least, that’s what I told
myself back then, but it was only so that I could be seen as better than my
poor cousin who really didn’t know any better.
The truth is, I had other friends that couldn’t match the popular kids’
standards and I never tried to change them, accepting their efforts as the best
they could do with what Fate had given them.
I didn’t judge them based on what their appearance, but on their
behavior. If they weren’t complete
morons, I didn’t mind having them around.

Since high school, I’ve mellowed
quite a bit in many areas. I have also
become more solidified in my view of the world and my comfort level. Because of those lines I have chosen to live
by, I have concluded I am not a snob so much as I am merely selective. You see, a snob is someone who believes they
are better than everyone else. That is
not me. While I may be better than some,
there are a vast amount of people who are better than me. Better looking. Better dressed. Better writers. Just better.
And I’m okay with that. It is not
my goal in life to be better than everyone else, but to just be the best me
that I can.

A snob? No.
Just selective. You see, while I
don’t put a lot of stock in appearance, or financial status, I do pay close
attention to character traits. An
individual’s personality is my litmus test, not their intelligence level. If being around a person just irritates the
hell out of me, then it’s best for everyone if we just part ways. No hard feelings. It’s merely a personality clash and both
parties can make friends somewhere else.

I cannot tolerate people who are
rude or parents who cannot control their children. Good manners seem to be a dying art nowadays
and it is immediately evident if a person has them or not. If they don’t, then I prefer there to be
distance between us.

Furthermore, hypocrisy, I can’t
stand it. I had my fill years ago and became
an expert at spotting it. Call me a snob
if you wish, but I have no stomach for fake people. If you can’t be real in all ways, then your
friends should be plastic and not flesh.
Be real with who you are, what you are about and where you’re going even
if the reality is you don’t know. Be
honest with your motives as well as your words.

I also don’t like attention. My friends are probably laughing at that,
thinking that I crave some type of spotlight. Yet, that’s not what I’m referring
to. What I’m talking about is when
someone is obnoxiously loud and all eyes are drawn to the disturbance of their
evening. I don’t want to be stared
at. I just want to simply enjoy my evening,
to relax amidst the crowd without becoming the object of spectators.

I still believe there is a right
way and a wrong way to look when in public.
Cleanliness is also still very important as well as a certain level of
behavior. I’m not here to stand out at
the mall or some nightclub. Most of the time, I prefer to blend in and go
unnoticed. I ignore those who live their
life as if always on stage. Those people
who believe drama is a food group are also people I choose not to hang around. I prefer my drama in my writing.

These decisions of who I choose
to surround myself with do not make me a snob.
They make me a man with standards; selective. Men should have class and ladies behave with
grace. This is not a matter of income
level or social status, but rather an issue of style. It’s a way of carrying yourself whether in a
formal ballroom or out in the bogs mudding with your buddies. It allows you to have fun, but not be an
idiot. I am a firm believer in how a
person behaves will attract certain personalities to them. For myself and the girls I want open minded
people with a sense of class about them. I want people who know there’s a right and a
wrong time for certain conversations and actions. If this makes me a snob, then so be it, but
I’m a selective snob. Why, sometimes I won’t even hang out with myself.

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About Robbie

The Mess That Is Me is merely my unique observations that sometimes find themselves hiding in the dark corners of a twisted mind. It is a sampling of what clutters my desk and fills the manila envelopes that find their way to editors In-boxes. If you enjoy what you read, please share the URL.

I live in sunny Florida where I spend my days taxiing the family to various places while jotting down the many crazy thoughts inside my head. I enjoy a freelance career writing for several magazines sharing some of my interesting viewpoints on life and those around me. I can usually be found on my back porch watching the squirrels chittering at the birds while enjoying a cigar, a scotch, and the many characters that talk to me inside my head.

My manuscripts have appeared in religious, parenting and retirement magazines, along with a ghost story or two. I am the author of the short story, Circle of Justice and the novella, Reaping the Harvest, both of which can be found at Smashwords.com, Barnes & Noble, and Amazon. Feel free to visit, strike up a chat and share a story or two with me.