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Chapter 13: The Welcome Wagon

Goron, lord of senseless suffering, popped up on Donnar Eed's Giant world, dressed in a smart, all black business suit with a maroon tie, and asked around 'til he found her, doing something useful.

"Donnar Eed," he said, as graciously as possible. "Wondering if you could make it to a dinner tonight, where we Gods Etc can kinda hammer a few things out. I know you're a busy woman, with endless responsibilities, but I think there are some issues that really need taking care of. And I need help catering it. I can cut you a real deal in suffering to take care of, you could consider it an exchange of professional courtesy. Can I put you down on my list?"

Donnar Eed replied, "Why, Goron, I'd love to come to dinner. Senseless suffering is exactly the kind of thing that goes well with teenagers. I'll bring a tuna casserole." The Pure Waters separating the mighty Lands were now inhabited with tunas.

And when the Last Bifr, Lord Incompetence, received his 2^12 locust dentists and his sample AGAR AGAR, he was much amazed.

He said unto the locusts: "Verily, I have never mastered the art of dental hygiene. Teach it unto me."

And though 2^12 locusts labored for 9^61 eons, they could do nothing to rectify Incompetence's teeth, and eventually, the last expired. Likewise, under the tutelage of the copy of AGAR AGAR, Incompetence labored to be redundant, disease-ridden, and of good oral hygiene. But in this, he failed.

And so Incompetence began to fear that he was angering the copy. And he imagined what might happen if it came down to a fight between them, and AGAR AGAR was annihilated before Incompetence learned of disease, redundancy, and oral hygiene. Terrible! So Incompetence set out to see this never happened....

And pretty quick, they started fighting, the copy of AGAR AGAR was annihilated utterly, and Incompetence was at a loss. Next, he hit upon the notion of going and apologizing to AGAR AGAR, so that AGAR AGAR would not...