Thursday, September 16, 2010

Theatrical Thursday to my little gingersnaps. We've almost made it to the end of the week! Just one more day after this. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.

The weather in Shitterton, England is a partly cloudy 63 degrees today. Did you know, that this lovely English town kept getting their city sign stolen by souvenir hunters, so they eventually had to have the town name engraved in a one ton rock at the edge of town. I bet there's a ton of regular people in that town. Speaking of, traffic on the 405 is bumper to bumper so I hope you didn't take any laxatives before leaving for work.

In the news, a man impersonating a police, driving in an unmarked car with lights, pulled over a man in New York. When he approached the car, the driver told him he's an off duty police detective, which apparently made the police impersonator decide to flee the scene. He was later arrested at his home.

Seriously bad luck. Impersonating an officer, only to pull over an off duty police detective. Poor guy. And by "poor" I mean "idiot".

Jamie Oliver, the lisping naked chef, and his wife just gave birth to their fourth child, a boy. The name has not been released yet, but I'm sure it promises to be a doozy, with big sisters such as Petal Blossom Rainbow, Daisy Boo Pamela, and Poppy Honey Rosie.

It's like she has cleavage from every angle. Is she wearing some sort of butt bra to get that kind of lift? Cause that's just not natural. Or maybe that's the point.

Here's some fashion (worn by singer Ciara) that I could definitely get behind. Converse Lucite Heels. Oh, you thought I was talking about the FLY belt? She's so fly. Or maybe she wants to fly? Anywho, I do not wear heals. Because I like comfortable shoes. But these look comfy. These I'd wear. To church.

Hmmm.... I wonder if you could just hold the nozzle above your mouth and chug. Though I'd imagine supermarket staff might frown on that. Which is why you'll need to bring at least two friends with you. One to cause a large commotion on the other end of the store, and one to serve as your lookout. What?

Eating these Doritos will give you the strength to hold another man upside down while you kick him in the crotch. Oh yes, they're that good.

And that's all the time I have for today. Just make it through the day and tomorrow will be Friday, I promise. Unless some catastrophic event happens today that somehow either annihilates all of mankind, or knocks us into the future. But if either of those things happen, you will probably not be around to blame me for promising Friday would come and I'd be off the hook. Just in case that does happen, I leave with you this vital information...

The longest recorded time for someone to have the hiccups is 69 years!

This record was made by a man named Charles Osborne. He started hiccuping in 1922 while trying to weigh a 350 lb pig to be slaughtered. He couldn't stop until 1990. A letter was written to Dear Abby on his behalf, but she didn't have any advice for him.

During the first few decades, he hiccupped up to 40 times a minute, slowing to 20 a minute in later years. He hiccupped an estimated 430 million times, and died 11 months after his hiccups stopped.

Charles Osborne, however, did manage a somewhat ordinary life - he was married twice and had 8 children.

Happy birthday Ginger! Today is my birthday too. Lol I love the chuck heels, I would so wear those! Im not sure how I feel about the butt cleavage, it really scares me actually. My mom would LOVE the wine tank. Making housewives all over the country happy..lol