How to Deal with a Toxic Boss?

Introduction

Everyone of us can change as an individual. We can make an effort to improve those sides of ourselves that we do not want to keep. This is something we really should not forget when dealing with toxic bosses.

Many people prefer to walk away from toxic people, which is probably most advisable. But actually we do not always have a choice especially on the work floor. So the best thing we can do is look for a smart way to tackle this issue. Because poisonous people always find a way to spread their negativity. They want to infect others with it, create a bad atmosphere and destroy the good times.

Dealing with a toxic boss is not going to be easy. However, with the right attitude and following a number of tips, you might be able to deal with such a boss. And if you are not successful, I will give other ways to opt out below.

Some bosses have few people skills

Unfortunately, managerial incompetence often occurs. That is because too many companies promote people who do have the right technical skills or can present good results, but do not necessarily have the right ‘people skills’ that a manager also needs.

How do you handle it? Take the reins yourself!You can be totally discouraged by an incompetent chef, or you can use a different tactic where you focus more on the matters that you do have control over yourself.

Try to understand the incompetence of your boss

Before you judge your boss, you first have to look at yourself. Ask yourself if you are not jealous of his or her position in the company. Or maybe you have difficulty with authority by nature. Your assessment of your boss’s incompetence can therefore be unjustly influenced. Thus, try to show some empathy for your boss, so you can view his incompetence in a different way. Perhaps you can then understand better under what pressure your boss is. This is a valuable point, most bosses being under tremendous pressure, however, this can never be an excuse to treat your staff in a bad way. I would see this as a sign of weakness.

Ask help from outside

Ask advice from colleagues or people outside your work that you trust: you can express your anger about what you see and you can talk about how it affects you and your work. That is not to work together against your boss, but to check your vision. Other people may be able to give a fresh view of the situation. Make sure you ask the right people like family, friends and professionals in business.

Focus on the broader picture

Think about the mission of your company and the well-being of your team. It is the job of every leader to feel what the office or organization needs, and what the needs of the customers are. If your boss does not bring this to a good end, it offers opportunities for you. You do not have to cover up your boss’s mistakes, but focus on what is best for the organization and the team, and how you can contribute to that. Believe it or not, leadership comes from below as often as it comes from the top.

Do not handle the boss of your boss rudely

When you work for a chef who does not do his job well, it can be tempting to go to the boss of your boss or another manager in your company. This is a real possibility, but keep in mind the possible consequences before you do this. Hierarchy is no empty concept: realize that your boss has more power within the organization than you, and can feel threatened by you. In extreme circumstances, you obviously have a duty to do something, for example if your boss is involved in a crime. Make sure you can prove your story with proof.

This last thing is of the utmost importance. If you come with a clear case about your direct boss, especially when your boss’s actions or non-actions have negative impact on the work, your possibility to succeed will improve considerably.

Take care of yourself!

Working for a toxic boss can also be bad for your health. Experts propose to define your psychological boundaries and protect yourself from emotional damage. We tend to focus on our bad boss who ruined our lives. However, do not forget that you can decide for yourself whether you will continue to work for him or not. You can always give your resignation or request another job. Focus therefore on what makes you happy in your work, not on what makes you sick. You are more likely to have a productive and fun day if you focus on the things you control and on other fine colleagues. If they are not there, well, then you should consider drastically changing the company.

Ignore the toxic bosses

Negativity, cruelty, playing the victim, are some strategies that toxic bosses use. But they always provoke a state of stress in the brains of others. To make this disappear, a smart emotional approach is needed. The key to this is developing the ability to direct your feelings and stay calm under pressure. One of the important qualities of people who know how to deal with stress is actually their ability to neutralize the effects of toxic people.

So, do not fall into the trap. Ignore your boss. You know that he or she will try to attract your attention. He or she will try to provoke you. Do not let this happen. Avoid getting involved in this. You do not have to accept that he tries to chase you with his interruptions, actions or comments. Be benevolent. Be patient. Give him as little attention as possible. Bite your tongue if necessary, so that his poison does not touch you. Be assertive when it comes time to set limits.

Set your limits and defend them

You must know that an attack by a toxic person does not undermine your dignity. In fact, your dignity can be attacked and ridiculed. But you can never lose it unless you give it out of your free will. You do not have to participate in the discussions that a toxic person carries. But you have to set clear limits.

If you go into the defense yourself, you show that you can be insulted. When you set limits, you make it clear that he or she can not attack you. When you are dealing with a toxic boss, his reason and statements are worth nothing. But it is important to be very clear, wise, but firm. Make it very clear that you have the authority over the decisions that are your right and responsibility.

Also keep in mind that you have to set a limit in a conscious and proactive way. If you let things happen just like that, you will constantly get entangled in difficult conversations. When you set limits, you will be able to control most chaos that is caused by a toxic person.

Final thoughts

When you are dealing with a toxic person, you can go on the attack or you can just ignore it. But it is not always necessary to do any of these things. Actually it is sometimes useful to be friendly to toxic people. Because maybe they will have a difficult period in their lives. They may not succeed in dealing with an emotional situation.

All things considered, that does not mean that you have to let it happen or accept it. In the end we all have our own problems and demons. But when dealing with these situations, try to trade with compassion and forgiveness. It is important that you set limits and let them know that you obviously do not play their game.

How did you handle your toxic boss? Let us know here.

Whatever you do, you might not be successful and need to find another company as described above. There is another way to avoid very bad bosses: become your own boss and work from home!

6 Replies to “How to Deal with a Toxic Boss?”

Having toxic Bosses is a common work place occurrence and if not properly handled can deteriorate into unhealthy relationship, decline in productivity and eventual loss of job.It is often adviseable to reconcile work place relationships before it deteriorates further, However when things does not seem to work it is best to workaway.

The points listed above in the article can be very useful if consciously put into practice not forgeting that it requires patience and understanding. Sometmes Boses and office colleagues become toxic intentionally for reasons best known to them.

You have hit the nail on the head, thanks for this valuable extension to my article. I agree that when these situations do not change soon enough, it is best to walk away and find a better work place. Your point that it requires patience and understanding first is very correct and should be heeded by everybody.

This is a very interesting article. There are lots of toxic people elsewhere too. I find it best to be friendly to everyone and try to treat everyone the same. And when it come to dealing with toxic people I found it best not to enable them or getting upset by their negativity.

Thanks for this helpful article. It was really insightful. Keep up the good work.

I think you are doing the right thing and if you can act the same in the work place it will do you very good. However, do not let it affect your health in any way and set your own limits as to how far somebody can go.

Hey Jerry! How are you doing? I’ve really enjoyed reading this article as you’ve provided us with lots of useful information. I have a boss who gets angry for simple reasons because he suffers from blood pressure and shot temper. What can I do for him to cool down? You’ve already covered most of the things but this is a personal question.

Just keep your cool as you already understand his issues, but set limits as you do not want your health to be affected. Just hope for it to be a temporary problem. Ask yourself also how much it affects you and whether you can live with it or not.