11:33 today my mom said to me "your brother has a big ass even though he is skinny, his only saving grace is the huge wiener he has." I swear to god I am not lying. I thought I would die of the hebbie jebbies.

In what context here could I possibly be talking about anything other than pyrite when I said fools gold? Fuck you for even bringing that movie up, and for knowing that movie even existed. I had to google it.