03 May Wonder Why We’re Like This About Our Genitals?

Because our culture normalizes penis shame.

I’m real pissed about this one, you guys. I don’t know how big a story this is where you live, but I use an app that shows me the ten most shared stories across all social media each day (it doesn’t give me a sense of “good” journalism, but it tells me what people are talking about most), and this was slowly climbing up from 10th place when I went to bed:

A Teen Is Facing Charges For Allegedly Flashing His Dick In A School Photo

Officers say Hunter Osborn admitted to flashing his genitals during the photo on a dare and said he was “disgusted” with his actions.

There were some 69 teenage students present when the picture was taken, police told BuzzFeed News in a statement, leading officers to charge him with 69 counts of indecent exposure, a Class 1 misdemeanor.

Det. Steve Berry of the Mesa Police Department told KPHO if students older than 18 do not wish to press charges the number of counts may be reduced.

“It is still an ongoing investigation,” the detective said. “The number of charges may go up or down depending upon how the investigation continues.”

The photo was taken when Osborn was 18, Rasheta said.
Osborn did not return a request for comment from BuzzFeed News.

This 19 year old man is learning a lesson that almost all men have had beaten into them their entire lives: your genitals are shameful.

Is it any wonder that men spend the time and energy and money they do on motorcycles and sports cars and penis enlargement pills? We’re trained, essentially from birth, that our penises are simultaneously the most important definition of who we are as men, and also that they’re SO detrimental to the fabric of society that this kid is facing a class 4 felony charge for “furnishing harmful items to minors.” His penis, in his mind, is forever going to be deemed a “harmful item.” That is a world beyond “fucked up.”

What’s already happened to this boy won’t be repaired. The dragging he’s about to receive, legally, online, and by society as a group will scar him for the rest of his life, whether he acknowledges it or not.

Is what he did socially acceptable? No. You can’t take your dick out in a school photo. Literally no one is arguing that. But what we are doing to this young man, the words we are using to define his sexuality, his body, and the effect it has on others is damaging.

Do you know why Donald Trump exists? I would wager that he is what he is right now because he has been trained that he is meant to be ashamed of the thing he has also been trained to believe defines his virility, his power, and his value as a man.

You don’t bounce back from that mirroring of your body without a lifetime of therapy and I’m embarrassed for Hunter Osborn’s school, for the police who are charging him with SEVENTY DIFFERENT CRIMES, and for Arizona as an entirety.

Your penis matters. It is not a “harmful item.” It is not a crime. You guys. We have to do better than this as men. For everybody like Hunter, who doesn’t know who or what he is yet – what he’s going to be. But who will carry around the damage of this for a lifetime, regardless.

I don’t think law enforcement should be involved. That’s my issue. What they’ve done is make him a criminal for exposing a part of his body. And it’s not a ticket or a fine. It’s almost 70 different criminal offenses, based on the number of people in the photograph, and a possible felony count.

This boy is 19 years old and was only 18 when the incident happened. His family or this school should be responsible for his punishment. Not taxpayers and the police.

Sorry, I disagree completely. This is about an idiot acting like an idiot. Teach your children to be proud of their bodies but also teach them about consequences. This no different than a trenchcoat flasher,. This is something this kid obviously planned and he deserves to pay for his mistake…bottom line.

A few months ago, I learned that in the 50s and 60s (and early 70s), boys were required to swim nude in schools that had pools and at the YMCA. It was some crazy excuse about the swimsuit material being harmful for the filters or something. I guess girls’ suits were made of different material, but instead of making the boys’ suits out of a material that wouldn’t harm the pool they simply required them to swim in the nude. It was normal and accepted and in some areas of the internet you can find photos of boys’ swim teams… Read more »

I remember a lot of stories from my dad about how humiliating and anxiety-provoking this practice was. He was forced to swim naked in public school gym class. It wasn’t some liberated, accepting practice designed to make kids feel at home in their bodies. It was shame-based and control-oriented and left a lot of kids (my dad included) feeling even more screwed up about their genitals. I can’t imagine what forced nudity in front of a peer group one already struggles to find a place in would do to the body image of someone in their early teens. I’m all… Read more »

Well, I’m not advocating for forced nudity. Just pointing out that in that time period girls and other boys could see penises quite easily. Now, if you show a penis as a prank you may be branded a criminal for the rest of your life.

I feel empathy for your dad. I would have felt the same shame and embarrassment. It was hard enough just to shower with the other boys after gym class. And God help you if you got a boner! They’d never let you forget it!

I mean, maybe there is no good way to go through adolescence. But my dad’s experience with the genital shaming really stuck with me while I was growing up, and while it would be easy to romanticize (so to speak) or sexualize the forced nudity of 1950s/60s gym class, the humiliation so many suffered because of it takes a lot of the fun away. :/ Part of why I do what i do is to help guys of a certain age, see and understand their penises differently than they’ve been taught to their whole lives. It changes someone’s whole world… Read more »

[…] if we weren’t ashamed of our sexuality as a matter of routine? What if it wasn’t a crime to show someone that you have a penis? What if we weren’t reinforcing the idea that sex is dangerous, and menacing, and meant to be […]