4.22.2010

I'm having the kind of day that needs a little sunshine. And who better to provide it, than Chuck Norris. Bow, infidels!

Chuck Norris kicked Neo out of Zion , now Neo is "The Two"

Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris once ate an entire ream of rice paper and shat out origami swans and Mister Miyagi from Karate Kid.

When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.

Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.

Physicists currently conducting research with the Hadron Super Collider in Europe are currently circulating a petition within CERN to rename the Higgs boson -- aka the God particle --the Chuck Norris particle.

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About Me

It's not that I'm mean. It's just that I sometimes say things others only think, yet are afraid to voice themselves. Oh, and I'm not very good at talking about myself. That's why I make up people, and then place them in situations, and throw in a guy with a gun.
I'm a writer, attempting to peel away from the world of Systems Engineering. Not that Information Technology is bad, its just that I don't love it. Not like I love storytelling. Pays the bills though.