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Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Just Wondering........

Let's say that someone changed your tires for you and didn't check them but they told you that they did. And let's say that you had a near death experience because of this.Let's say the wheel came off of the car.

Would you think that someone was trying to kill you or just that it was freakishly irresponsible?

Guy at tire shop? Freakishly irresponsible. Disgruntled husband? Other option. I'm so sorry. Stay safe and focus on keeping yourself and the kids intact--if he's doing things like THAT I think he is choosing via his actions to cope solo. As in "not Gwendomama's problem anymore, your feelings, dude."

How dare you suggest that my brother tried to kill you! That's totally, totally unfair. He might have done some things that we don't agree with but he's not cruel. He would NEVER EVER EVER do anything to hurt you and/or the kids. How dare you suggest this...and even in public and in your blog. I am totally, totally disappointed. I've always been there to support you through thick and thin...but this is not very nice.

You know that phrase, "when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras"? (meaning, the most likely answer is the most likely answer). I don't know what's going on in your marriage, but absent any other info I'd have to go with tired, absent-minded, maybe even lazy over malicious. Best wishes and I'm glad you weren't hurt physically. -Anita R.

Don't become a statistic. If you are scared or suspicious that your husband may hurt you please tell anyone and everyone that you can no matter what kind of backlash you may get from some people in his family who may be clueless. So many people are afraid to step in or get involved and that is just wrong. Only you know the true situation, not people who live clear across the country.

I agree with anon about not being afraid to voice your fear and suspicion about your husband. Maybe he didn't even intend or think you could have had a fatal accident, maybe in his passive aggressiveness he was just trying to be an ass, but just the same, you could've gotten seriously hurt. Keep your eye on him, even as you sleep, one eye open, one eye shut.

Don't know whether or not to answer the question or just tell you I'm thinking of you and sending warm wishes to you all. Lemme know if you want to meet up and have an ear.

But to answer the question: It would depend on so many other things. Right now I don't suspect that kind of maliciousness of anyone in my life, so no, I would just think it was careless. Obviously, only you can answer it for yourself.

Um . . . I've going to vote for freakishly irresponsible. Of course you don't say that it's DH (in fact, you don't say that it's anyone--you're just askin). But if he is your mechanic, then I really vote for f.i. It sounds like he just f.u.ed. Possibly big time.

Babe,I feel your pain and I am worried. I think I need to call you. Please please safe and get out if you need too. I am going to be homeless soon, the kids and you and I could go live under a bridge soon. Just trying to lighten things up a bit. But seriosuly I am worried.

Dear Blaize...I do NOT regret my comments. I will stick up for my family/brother EVERY day and any day when subjected to slander on a blog. The only regret that I have and continue to have is that I joined in and was part of this horrible situation in the public eye. What goes on between family members is not for public scrutiny and bashing. It only hurts the parties worse...and yes, the Boss is right...the kids. The kids are most important here. I love my family more than life itself and will continue to stick up for them...will love them...and definitely pray for them.

Gwendomama didn't name the suspect, YOU did. Slander is a deliberate lie told by mouth to damage someone's standing in the community. Libel, the term I think you were grasping for, is any inaccurate statement made in writing. You can sue someone for libel, but only if none of the "Three Defenses" apply (I am a professional writer so I have studied this at length): 1) The party in question is a "public figure," such as a movie star, politician, etc.; it seems that by choosing to live in the limelight you forfeit a certain degree of privacy. In the context of this blog (which for you to call this libel you would have to acknowledge as a major publication), "dh" is a "public figure" (not really unless it IS a major publication, but your very claim that it is would render his ability to sue for libel null and void). 2) Truth. You cannot sue for libel unless what is published is untrue. Are you saying "someone" didn't change Gwendomama's tires? Or are you disputing that "someone" neglected to check them (would seem as if they did if the WHEEL CAME OFF THE CAR). 3) the subject of the "libel" is deceased (does not apply at the moment).

It would seem that your brother has made some VERY poor life-choices, and rather than attacking the woman who has CARRIED him for the past several years, and shown admirable restraint in not saying MORE about him on her blog, and in the process revealing to her readership that your brother WAS in fact the culprit, perhaps you ought to get your brother some help or at least consider maintaining civil relations to the mother of your niece and nephews for the sake of YOUR FAMILY the children.

I did not comment yesterday because this seems messy enough.And for your situation I am sorry, for your children heartbroken. You are an adult, you can process what is happening with DH, they cannot.

But, let's all take a step back from slamming the aunt who did what most siblings would do, defend her brother. Sure, she is easy to lash out at but Gwendomama you are being disingenuous with your shock that she outed DH. She did not. Any intelligent person who read this post and Broken presumed (obviously correctly) that you were referring to DH. You do not follow a post where you say you have nothing left, you are broken because you are the lowest common denominator in the one person's life you are suppose to be the highest (um, could that be YOUR SPOUSE) with a this post and not expect (and dare I say probably hope) your readers guess who you are posing your "hypothetical" about. So, be angry with the right person, DH. Get counseling, get a divorce, whatever. But get off the aunt's case. She's not the enemy. And you are doing your kids a disservice if you turn her into one because you have issues with her brother.

obrienmt--you created an account JUST to express your vehement feelings on this one post? Really? And an anon jumped onboard the bandwagon thirteen minutes later?

*rolls eyes*

Gwendomama hasn't turned the aunt into an enemy. If anyone is turning the aunt into an enemy, it's the aunt--for defending the indefensible and directing her energies toward tearing down someone who is already feeling pretty broken rather than dealing PRIVATELY with her own family member, who to the outside eye appears to be doing the breaking. Go back and read about the cell-phone-charger/40th birthday incident, or hey, the time he almost let Bubbles get run over while Gwendomama was making him and his friends lunch, or oh I know, the time he confessed that he was leaving her, the breadwinner, to deal with the kids solo at dinnertime and MAKE dinner EVERY NIGHT because of his deep-seated "need" to watch the sun set. If you've read this blog at all you'll marvel at Gwendomama's restraint. Unless, of course, you are an alias.

I am not saying AJ/DD is the enemy here. I am not even saying DH is. That is not for me to say. Gwendomama is, as usual, the one who will have to sort it all out and MOST of us are here to support her and enjoy her words while she does so. If you are not, then there is a handy little "x" at the top right of your screen you can click to excuse yourself.

Mfa Mama and Ginn.... I agree with you both 100% I have been a long time reader and fan of G"s for awhile now. I admire and love her as if she was one of my closest friends. For reasons of my own drama and an idiot soon to be ex husband I usually post anom. That being said I am worried and wish I was closer to do what ever she needed. This is her blog and she can say whatever the fuck she wants. Thats thw beauty of having a blog.So I have to say if you can't support G then this is not the place for you people. Exit the building.Denise Cameron's corner

Aunt Jenny sounds hauntingly like OJ's Simpson's family right after that incident. All they did was boast about their "perfect brother." Open your eyes-maybe your brother isn't the perfect person you think he is.

Um.... maybe I'm just an idiot, but I didn't get a DH vibe from any of the posts except the last one. This might be because my husband can't even change a flat or know how to check the oil, so it never occurred to me that changing tires could be a home job, but... yeah.

Gwen, this is why you need an LJ. You can lock some posts and not others and you can make filters so only certain people on your friend's list can see. It's awesome. =P