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I saw the most unusual thing on the back of a car in a
parking lot the other afternoon:

An American flag.

Now . . . "the most unusual thing" is an exaggeration --
there are still flags to be seen on cars these days -- but it
is becoming increasingly uncommon. In the days and
weeks just after Sept. 11, it seemed at times as if there
was a new law in effect ordering Americans to display
the flag on their homes and vehicles. But the predictions
that this would soon fade away have proved accurate; the
flags on the cars are few enough these days that when
you see one, it catches your eye.

Six months, in a country with no attention span, is a long
time, and Sept. 11 is already being discussed in the
context of history, as if the war that has followed is
somehow past-tense instead of ongoing. And that in
itself raises a question that has been presented to me
by more than one person.

It has to do with the soldiers our country has sent across
the ocean to fight the war. More specifically, it has to do
with the soldiers who won't be coming back -- the
soldiers who have died already, and the soldiers who
almost certainly will die as the months and years go on.

Those soldiers will leave families behind -- spouses
and children who will never see them again.

Those families -- will we be giving them the same kind of
charitable help that we gave the families of the people
who died in the United States on Sept. 11? Will there be
an outpouring of generosity for the families of the
soldiers killed overseas?

It's worth thinking about. The contributions for the
families of the people killed at the World Trade Center,
the Pentagon and the site of the downed plane in
Pennsylvania came pouring in so fast that it became a
complicated task even to count up all the money. Stars of
the movies, television and the recording industry held
nationally broadcast fundraisers for the families -- the
size of the various funds was so overwhelming that the
controversy became: How much should each family
receive, and how quickly should they receive it?

It was a wonderful gesture on the part of the American
people. But now, as the most difficult part of the war
begins, what will be done for the families of the soldiers
we as

k to die in our name?
Some voice will say: The government has benefits
programs for the survivors of military men and women
who die during war.

That's true -- but it doesn't answer the real question.
Which is: If we were willing to so generously help out the families of the victims of
Sept. 11 with private donations, will we do it for the soldiers, too?

The answer may be no. And if it is, the least we can do is ask ourselves why.

It is wrong to try to quantify pain -- the widow of an office worker or a stockbroker who
died in the World Trade Center feels the same range of anguished emotions as the
widow of a Marine private who dies in a foreign land. But a case can be made that --
for all the use of the word "hero" to describe those who died on Sept. 11 -- with the
exception of the firefighters, police officers and emergency workers, most of the dead
were victims, not heroes. The soldiers who will die because we have asked them to
fight our fight, though. . . .

Again -- comparing the pain of the families serves no purpose. What does serve a
purpose is to ask ourselves why we were willing to open our wallets to the families of
the Sept. 11 victims -- and why we may be reluctant to do that for the families of the
soldiers.

Was it just the overriding grief of the moment? Was it something so awful and basic
as the fact that on Sept. 11, the dead died on television -- that the world saw them die,
as it happened? And that the soldiers will die in places none of us can see?

It's not an easy thing to think about. But if the war lasts as long as our national leaders
have been saying it will, there will be many American families suddenly in mourning.
When those families -- the families of the soldiers who will die -- ask themselves
where our concern for them is, what will the answer
be?

JWR contributor Bob Greene is a novelist and columnist. Send your comments to him by clicking here.