Are you tired of all those mushy "friendship" poems that always sound good but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a "friendship" poem that really speaks true friendship and truth itself!

Friend .............

When you are sad, ...I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the bastard/bitch who made you sad.

When you are blue, ...I'll try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

When you smile, ...I'll know you finally got lucky!!!

When you are scared, ...I will tease you about it every chance I get.

When you are worried, ...I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.

When you are confused, ...I will use little words to explain it to you - dumb ass.

When you are sick, ...stay away from me until you're well again. I don't want what you've got.

When you fall, ...I will point at you and laugh.

This is my oath, I pledge 'til the end. Why you ask? Because you're my friend.

Now I want you to send this to 10 of your closest friends;

You should be depressed now because you've come to realize you only have 2, and one of them is not speaking to you right now...

And always remember:

A friend will help you move..... Your best friend will help you move a body!

A friend will come bail you out of jail.... Your best friend will be in the Jail next to you saying "Man that was awesome!!!!"