hey there

hi, i'm krysta and welcome to my blog... evil chef mom. if you want to know how i came up with such a ridiculous name for a blog click here. anyways... this is a sometimes blog. sometimes it's about food, sometimes it's about crazy ludicrous things that seem to only happen to me, sometimes it's about family. i post about whatever pops into my addled wacked out adhd brain [oh hey! look it's a squirrel!]. if you want to join the crazy train... hop aboard and keep reading. don't say i never warned you!

8/15/08

Shrek: Ogres are like onions.Donkey: They stink?Shrek: Yes. No.Donkey: Oh, they make you cry.Shrek: No.Donkey: Oh, you leave em out in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little white hairs.Shrek: NO. Layers. Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers. [sighs]Donkey: Oh, you both have layers. Oh. You know, not everybody like onions.

I have layers. Many, many layers. Let's meet some of them. I'm sure you'll identify with a few...

Geeky Krysta: Gets excited about silly stuff and has to share it with the world. In the wild, this Krysta will also spout off obscure facts that she knows and expects you to be excited also but more often than not people just shake their heads in bewilderment.

Insecure Krysta: Oh this one is a pain in the ass! She appears unexpectedly. What a pest. Once she's around it's hard to get rid of her. Always nagging that NOTHING is good enough. Not to be confused with Depressed Krysta.

Depressed Krysta: It's the end of the world, Pinkie.

OCD Krysta: The worry wort. Everything has to be perfect. House has to be clean before I blog. The kids hate this one. I hate this one.

I Don't Give A F#ck Krysta: The one who jumps out of planes. The one who speeds. The one who gives the kids cake for breakfast. The one who yelled at the cop to just "Give me the fucking ticket, instead of telling me I almost didn't stop." True story and I didn't get the ticket. This one should get me in more trouble than it does.

Regular Krysta: A little bit of all these. But pretty much happy-go-lucky. Normal not insane. But after revealing all of this to you, I'm not so sure.

These tomatoes in this picture are like onions, they have many layers of flavors. Sweet, sour, spicy. You don't even know. See all that juice on the bottom of the plate? Yeah, umm, I'm going to embarrass myself here and tell you I picked up my plate and tipped all the juices into my mouth. Yes, I slurped it up. I could have got a piece of bread and mopped up all the juices but I was by myself. If a tree falls in the woods, does it make a sound? If I have bad manners and I am by myself, is it really bad manners?

In a large heatproof bowl, combine the tomatoes, scallions and jalapenos. Stir in the hot pickling liquid and let stand at room temperature for 4 hours or refrigerate for 8 hours, then serve.

I can't get enough of these. I had them over rice. I had them over an omelet. I'm trying to figure out how to incorporate them in this month's Potato Ho-Down. I'm in love. Seriously, I would bathe in them if I could. Oh and did I mention this recipe was easy?

One more for the road because it is my blog and this is my favorite Shrek quote.

"Our first bachelorette is a mentally abused shut-in from a kingdom far, far away. She likes sushi and hot-tubbing any time. Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for her two evil sisters. Let's hear it for Cinderella! Bachelorette number two is a cape-wearing girl from the Land of Fantasy. Although she lives with seven other men, she's not easy. Just kiss her frozen, dead lips and find out what a live wire she is. Give it up for Snow White! And last but not least is a fiery redhead who lives in a dragon-guarded castle surrounded by a boiling lake of lava. But don't let that cool you off. She's a loaded pistol who likes piña coladas and getting caught in the rain. Yours for the rescuing, Princess Fiona!"

Procedure1. Preheat the oven to 400°F. Place the eggplants in a roasting pan along with 1/4 cup of water and a pinch of salt and pepper. Wrap with aluminum foil, and cook for 25 minutes.

2. Meanwhile, in a large pot, pour the oil in and turn the heat to medium. Add the onion and saute until light brown. Then crank the heat to high, add the bell peppers, and cook until they start to brown, stirring constantly. Pour in the vinegar and cook for one minute, scraping the bottom with a wooden spoon. Pour contents into a large bowl.

3. In the now empty pot, pour in 2 tablespoons of oil and turn the heat to medium. Toss in the squash and zucchini and cook until they soften. Then add the tomatoes. Let them begin to release their juices. When the liquid starts to simmer, dump the onions and peppers back in and stir in the tomato paste. Toss in the cooked eggplant slices. Bring mixture to a simmer and cook for two minutes, gently stirring contents.

4. Turn off the heat, sprinkle in the herbs, season with salt and pepper, and serve with some crusty bread.

You are a riot, and I am so not letting my grown kids read this as I never gave them cake for breakfast. The perfect mom krysta was a dominant voice in my house- my kids eat cake now to make up for it! I hope you keep blogging when you reach menopause-that Krysta will make the hormonal Krysta seem like a saint...