"I'd suggest we're treading on Idol worship when we deify her obedience and love....something every Christian ought to be expressing."

Agreed. And that's exactly what the Catholic Church teaches about Mary and the saints, indeed any creature.

Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraph 2113 says:

"Idolatry not only refers to false pagan worship. It remains a constant temptation to faith. Idolatry consists in divinizing what is not God. Man commits idolatry whenever he honors and reveres a creature in place of God, whether this be gods or demons (for example, satanism), power, pleasure, race, ancestors, the state, money, etc. Jesus says, 'You cannot serve God and mammon.'[Mt 6:24 .] Many martyrs died for not adoring 'the Beast'[Cf. Rev 13-14.] refusing even to simulate such worship. Idolatry rejects the unique Lordship of God; it is therefore incompatible with communion with God.[Cf. Gal 5:20 ; Eph 5:5 .]"