The fridge [with the new, disturbingly sexual, Kelly Clarkson magnet - free with My December, kids!] is hypnotised by the power of the New York Rangers and the memory of them beating the Washington Capitals 2-1.

11.43pm.

Britain's Got Talent has been watched. I am over Susan Boyle.

I am shamefully drunk for this early hour and have decided that I will have to go to bed.