Month: November 2016

Vince McMahon is in the ring in a tuxedo. He’s growly as fuck as he welcomes us to WrestleMania X and then introduces the original wild man of rock n’ roll, Marc Mero Little Richard to sing “America the Beautiful,”

Little Richard appears and does the song all slow jammy before redoing it with a gospel choir. The crowd looks bored as fuck but someone in the crowd begins waving an American flag nonetheless. It’s WrestleMania X y’all!

Jerry Lawler is out with McMahon. He’s shirtless sporting a cape and a crown botching his lame dad boner jokes while heaping praise on Yokozuna.

After a quick recap of the events that transpired Sunday at Survivor Series on Sunday, SmackDown Live is underway.

Commissioner Shane McMahon, looking like slightly warmed over dog shit makes his way down to the ring for the opening talky portion of SmackDown. He talks about how he’s not 100% because of Survivor Series and gives props to the Raw team and the SmackDown team except for Dean Ambrose.

The show kicks off with a video package reviewing the feud between Joe and Nakamura thus far. We get Joe laying out Nakamura for “6 to 12 weeks,” and then the brawl that ended last week’s episode. NXT baby!

This might be the greatest concept for an indie wrestling promotion today. Purists will probably be all like, “Ew this is not wrestling!” but fuck those guys.

There’s room for this and there’s room for Five Star Mat Classics® and there’s room for CZW guys hitting each other with shit and there’s room for Lucha Underground soap operas. It’s all wrestling and it’s all fun.

It’s the Colossal Jostle y’all! Two of the biggest big men to ever jostle are in Madison Square Garden to jostle one another in the most colossal jostle that was ever jostled in the history of jostling.

WWE, if you happen to be reading this can you do something like the Cruiserweight Classic only with superheavyweights? You’ve already got an awesome title for such a tournament, “And now the WWE Network and McCain Ellio’s Pizza Pockets Proudly Presents…The Colossal Jostle!”

I love that one of the subplots to Bill Goldberg’s meteoric rise to fame was the fact that according to Professor Iron “Mike” Tenay Jerry Flynn always gave him a run for his money and ranked among the “most competitive bouts” Goldberg had ever had.

Enjoy this most competitive three minute and forty-five second (with intros and replays) bout between these two titans.

Goldberg Streak Count: I don’t know! Somewhere in the range of 13 to 77.

I don’t know who this Manny Fernandez is, but he sure as hell isn’t the Raging Bull Manny “Invander #3 Maiming” Fernandez. Whoever he is, Fake Manny Fernandez takes on a heelish proto-Goldberg in this bout. Goldberg’s a douchebag in the match and it’s pretty awesome.