Do Not Want

When everybody discovers a new wargame at the same time, there’s an atmosphere of sharing that accompanies it; everyone is curious about what everyone else can do. You’ll read a stat block, and say “Oh no! That’s some bullshit!” but you don’t mean that it’s actually unfair, you mean that it’s novel or interesting. Then, once you’ve had to contend with their “interesting” two-story ice axe or their “novel” dual artillery subsystem that operates according to its own primitive intellect, you think that maybe it’s bullshit according to Webster and not bullshit in some colloquial usage. It takes some real balls to put a Behemoth on your wish list. Megaballs.

You know what he’s actually getting? Not a Behemoth. Socks. And not even socks, just sock.

I’m going to get him one sock.

I’ve made an executive decision on Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood, and that is to finish it as quickly as possible. I’ve already got twenty hours into this Goddamned thing, and I have shit to do now. I don’t resent the game in the least; I’ve enjoyed virtually every second of it, I just need my life back so that I can accomplish my life goals. I expected more of the same from AC:B, and I would have been satisfied that as something appended to novel multiplayer, but some of the things they played around with in these Lairs of Romulus and the Leonardo missions represent a mastery over their thesis. Speaking specifically to the Lairs, there were moments where the obvious “structure” of the levels you’re supposed to traverse in game terms melted away into completely organic environments, which I could then navigate intuitively. That happened in Uncharted 2 quite often, and it alters your brain function. i think that if I try to recall these places in the future, I might recall them as places I’ve been.

Also: Child’s Play has just cracked $752,000, and that’s in advance of the Dinner next week, or the prowess of independent, reliable earners like CheapAssGamer or Ars Technica’s Opposable Thumbs. We have an SMS donation thingy now too, for U.S. phones, whereby texting GAMERS to 50555 will kick over a five dollar donation. Progress! We are like sharks, in that respect; we’ve always got to keep innovating.