Lululemon Is Making Chicks Bend Over To Prove Their Yoga Pants Are Too Sheer

(THG) — On the heels of the highly-publicized recall of Lululemon yoga pants, some women say the company is asking them to bend over in front of in-store sales associates. To determine if their yoga pants are “too sheer,” obviously. Last week, the yoga-inspired athletic company had to recall 17 percent of the pants (sold for roughly $100 each) bought between March 1 and March 8. The reason? Their yoga pants’ fabric was too see-through, inspiring a wave of jokes across the Internet and whiplash among men across North America. Lululemon invited customers to return any pants they bought online or in stores for a full refund / exchange, but one blogger who tried to return her pair was shocked. On Lululemon’s Facebook page, she wrote:
I went into my local store to return my Astro pants and Invert crops, both purchased this month. I was asked to BEND OVER in order to determine sheerness. The sales associate then perused my butt in the dim lighting of the change room and deemed them “not sheer”. I felt degraded that this is how the recall is being handled. I called the GEC to confirm this is their protocol, and they verified that yes, the “educators” will verify sheerness by asking the customer to bend over.

Let me just say that in my heart of hearts I know this isn’t true. I know there’s no way after the media hit Lululemon took the other day they would instruct their employees to run a sheerness test on every chick that walks in. This is definitely just some chick blogger trying to get attention by making up a story. But having said that, I’m still pretending it’s real. You gotta believe in something. And, since it’s so real, it is my new number one job. Sales associate/product inspector at Lululemon in the Pru. Sign me up. I’ve done plenty of time inspecting asses in yoga pants. What did Malcolm Gladwell say, you’re an expert once you’ve spent 10,000 hours doing something? Well I am an expert in yoga pants. I’ve studied their color, their sheerness, the way they contour to a body. I can look at a pair of Astro pants and know if they’re malfunctioning in a nanosecond. Get downward dog and I’ll let you know if I can see your snatch better than anybody in the world. That’s the Feitelberg guarantee.

And if Lulu won’t have me I’m still willing to be the guy who artistically puts sand on Sofia Vergara’s naked body for a photoshoot. That’s my safety job.