Ranking the SEC 2013 Hype Videos

The SEC Media Days get underway today in Hoover, Alabama. It’s three days of chum in the water before the feeding frenzy of college football begins in late-August.

Prior to this week, the only thing crazed, SEC football fans have been able to get a hold of to satisfy their appetite is 2013 preseason hype videos. I sifted through all of them and present you a breakdown of each team’s best one and crowned a SEC hype video champion. Let’s start at the bottom:

Vanderbilt – NO VIDEO

-How has one of those Vanderbilt, 1600 SAT students not taken a break from their studies to make a 2013 hype video? James Franklin has brought the Commodores program a long way, but to take it to that next level we need some preseason videos to get the fan base riled up. I guess Franklin’s too busy looking for assistant coaches with hot wives to put one of the Vanderbilt staffers on the task of creating a hype video.

-The Bulldog’s 2013 hype video comes equipped with its own personalized Mississippi State rap song. Someone needs to make a public service announcement about these kinds of songs. They never work. Ask Florida Gulf Coast.

-What it’s missing: A Dan Mullen cameo in Beastie Boys get-up rapping “I be with my dogs, yelling Hail State! From the crib, to the junction, to the tailgate.”

-If you have a thing for silent films, this is for you. Apparently the movie maker illegally used an audio track, so there is no music with this hype video. Ole Miss burst onto the scene under Hugh Freeze and I expect many more videos (with audio) to be popping up on YouTube in the near future. Once some practice video of Robert Nkemdiche becomes available, look out.

-I don’t know about you, but nothing pumps me up more than seeing my coach ride around in a nice white sedan. Then you add in some emoticons and I get this feeling like :/ Philip Fulmer hype videos would have never been this bad.

-This video and the music did a great job of capturing what’s happened at Auburn in the last couple years and what lies ahead. When I see Gus Malzahn in those glasses all I can think about is him in a lab coat in some dark room drawing up offensive formations and laughing out loud like a mad, football-scientist. I also loved the Toomer Corner shot there in the middle. May those trees rest in peace. Screw you Harvey Updyke.

-What it’s missing: Highlights against a team of any significance. Thanks New Mexico State, Louisiana-Monroe and Alabama A&M.

-The dark, slow, hard-hitting music works perfectly with these videos and you can’t go wrong with the actual Gator surfacing. I don’t care how highly ranked a kid is in recruiting, don’t put them in a preseason hype video. Vernon Hargreaves has not earned the right to be in a video along with Jeff Driskel, Loucheiz Purifoy and Dominique Easley.

-Unlike South Carolina, they didn’t bury the lead: Johnny Football. There is plenty of Manziel sprinkled throughout this one along with some of the quirky Aggie traditions. I also like that they didn’t go with a token rap/metal song and stuck with the country roots.

-This video hammers home the dynasty concept like three straight runs up the gut from Mark Ingram, Trent Richardson and then Eddie Lacey. Alabama fans should enjoy reliving the three recent championships under Nick Saban, but it didn’t do much for me in the 2013 look-ahead. Brent Musburger would also like a few shots of Katherine Webb mixed in.

-It’s nice to see the programs coming out with hype videos of their own. They have access to much more footage of the team behind the scenes than any fan does and this video was very well done. I also realized that Bret Bielema and Nick Saban sound very much alike. Creepy.

-They teach you in journalism, don’t bury the lead. Having Jadeveon Clowney’s decapitation of Vincent Smith nearly 1:30 in is burying the lead. Besides that, it’s a solid video to rile up the Gamecock faithful. I’m not sure if those are video effects or if actual earthquakes occur when Clowney lays the wood. I feel bad for those poor souls with the last name of Murray, Driskel and Boyd.

-What it’s missing: A hundred more slo-mo shots of Clowney’s hit in the Outback Bowl.

- Awesome montage of Death Valley and the Tiger Eye to open, then the overhead view of Death Valley at night gives me chills. I don’t understand how teams ever win there at night. I’d need to change my pants a couple times before running out past the tiger cage.

-What it’s missing: The Mad Hatter. Les Miles makes everything better and he’s not once featured in this video.

-The Georgia Bulldogs are 2013 preseason hype video champions. The slow music to open along with Georgia’s heartbreaking loss in the SEC Championship game transitions nicely into the Rocky IV speech. “It ain’t about how hard you’re hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!” The David Greene to Fred Gibson touchdown from the 2003 UGA-Clemson game was the cherry on top. Georgia’s visit to Clemson on August 31st is a fantastic way to start the 2013 season.

-What it’s missing: Nothing. Well done you hairy dawgs.

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