Removal of my Implants under a local with sedation- Spain, ES

Hi can anyone reassure me i am doing the right...

29 Jul 2012

2 months pre

Hi can anyone reassure me i am doing the right thing! I had implants put in 5 years ago under the muscle. I went from a 34 A to a 34 C or in some bra´s a D!!! I only wanted to be one size bigger but i had my op done in Spain and the language was a bit of a problem when i had it done-- really stupid i know. I am 5 ft 4 and weigh 8 stone. I have never really excepted my new boobs-- however my husband has and was VERY happy with the result. I always felt they looked false and am always embarrased on the beach as i feel everyone can see they are false. I now really want them out BUT the more people i tell they are in shock as they all say how fab my body looks. I am so scared at not excepting my tiny boobs again. Did anyone else out there have the same fear? I really want them out but now it is getting nearer to the time i am getting confused. BUT i know i want to feel more natural again but am i ready to except the more natural me? My husband supports me whichever decision i choose.

Well I am not that good at writing after reading...

15 Aug 2012

20 days pre

Well I am not that good at writing after reading everyone else´s post-- anyway here goes! As all the ladies mention --this site is so helpful. I would definately be lost without it. I just wish my explant date was tomorrow as every day it gets nearer to my date i am getting more scared. I think it is because my explant will be under a local with sedation and i really do not know what to expect. I am trying to stay positive and say to myself that my recovery will be quicker then a general and i will be able to return to work sooner and get on with my life. I am so so aprehensive about how my boobies will look post explant and will i even like them. BUT i do know i hate these false things in me and cant wait to be rid of them and to be able to hug my kids without feeling these implants. To roll over in bed and not be reminded of these false lumps inside me that hardly move when i move! To be able to go swimming and not feel my muscles tense around the implant (mine are under the muscle) and not to feel the same tension when i do any exercise. I just wish i had done it soooner. I will try to remain positive and love the skin i am in whatever the outcome.
I am so confused about the removal as some say the capsular needs to removed and others say it is not neccessary. My surgeon says it is not neccessary BUT thanks to this site i have my pre op check on the 29th and have a load more questions to ask her so hopefully my mind will be more at ease after that. Thanks to all the girlies who have joined this site as my journey is getting easier. I no longer feel alone x

Hello girlies out there. Thank you so much for...

16 Aug 2012

19 days pre

Hello girlies out there. Thank you so much for your replies. Now i am really on my journey. Some days more positive then others. I am so nervous now, so i have contacted my surgeon today and moved my pre op appointment forward one week. I see her next Tuesday, the 22nd August. It cannot come soon enough. She is still trying to convince me to have smaller implants. God I hope she does not brain wash me as i know she has pictures of me before the implants were put in and they are shocking! I will be scared to look. I am holding onto the fact that when i had my implants put in i was the smallest i had ever been. I weighed 46kg (my normal weight was always was around 55kg) but moving to Spain with all the stress and the heat i lost the weight. Now i am around 51kg so hoping my boobies will have grown. Gotta stay strong and positive and remind myself why i am doing this. This site is really really helping me x

Hello -- well today i cant believe I am actually...

18 Aug 2012

17 days pre

Hello -- well today i cant believe I am actually excited!!! Reading all the posts on this site gives me hope i will be ok. Especially the posts of how people feel post explant.--- about all the swelling, hardness and feeling that you still have implants in. It all helps us pre op girlies waiting in the wings. What i am REALLY REALLY scarred of is having it done by a local not a general --- i dont think it would scare me so much if i was just having a simple explant but i have this blimmin capsular contraction on my right side which is worrying me( I have been told it is a grade II to a III). My PS says she will not do a capsulectomy--- she says it is not neccessary-- there are for´s and against this procedure so i am very confused. Should i just sit back and let her take control and have the confidence in her??? I am so scared that she is going to have problems with my right side and i am going to feel it all. Oh well I dont think there are any answers to this-- i see my PS this Tuesday so i will see what she has to say but i will make it clear that i am confused about this C contraction. Keep you all posted . My PS is the same one who put in my implants and all was ok with them until 3 years later when i developed Cap contraction. She is all above board-- registered etc so no worries there and she does have alot of clients so I think i should be confident in her but i have this niggling feeling that all is not correct--did anyone else have this with their surgeon?

Hi all. Well today i had my pre op check I had...

22 Aug 2012

13 days pre

Hi all. Well today i had my pre op check I had loads of questions written down-- thanks to all of you lot with all your posts. I really wanted to be sure i was doing the right thing , i mean by going for a local and not a general. I am already so sure i AM doing the right thing by having these bits of silicone out-- i hate them so much I cannot even find a word to describe them!
My PS did ask me once again if i was sure i did not want a smaller implant. I did not even hesitate when i said NO! I cant believe how EASY it was to say no! She really did reassure me though about having a local with sedation. I now feel more confident in her. She said i wont need drains but she will review that when i have the operation. She also told me she will not totally remove the capsule on my right side, she will score it to help with the healing, this all made sense to me after reading about Cap contraction. She said a tight bra will be best post surgery particularly as i have Cap contraction. She said NO running NO weights for at LEAST a month. She said after this cycling will be best and i can do my abs but thats it. I already feel like a blob! And as it is getting closer to the date i am eating like a horse!!! My op is on the 4th sept and have to be there at 0730am. She said i can be first on the list as she knows how nervous i am. She reassured me i will feel no pain. I have to start taking oral antibitics one day before the op. Did anyone else have to do this. Roll on the 4th!!!! thanks to everyone for your support x

Hi All, well 2 days to go before my op and the...

2 Sep 2012

2 days pre

Hi All, well 2 days to go before my op and the past week i have been so busy with work i have not had much time to think about it! Worked 6 long days and now a day off--bliss! BUT i have my brother in law and his wife coming tonight for 10days from the UK so will be busy house cleaning. I have not even told them yet that they may have a patient to look after!!! I have not told my work colleagues either-- not sure how to tell them. I only have 6 days off work, taken as a holiday, then back to work. I will try to make as many excuses as i can about not lifting or doing over strenuous jobs but it is going to be difficult! I haven´t joined in in any of the chats lately as i am so tired when i get home, i have a lenovo tablet which allows me to go on line but i cant seem to send any messages to this site so have to wait until i am on the main computer. Just to say thanks girlies for all your support and enjoying your posts on other sites--i am still following them. It will be hard for me keep up to date i think after my op for a while as i have family over. I certainly wont be posting any pics post op until the family have gone as the computer is in their bedroom!!! have a happy healing Sunday to you all. xxxxx

Well i am on the other side now!!! I can finally...

4 Sep 2012

Day of treatment

well i am on the other side now!!! I can finally say post op as to pre op!!!! Had them out under a local with sedation. Well they might of given me a general for all i know as the sedation was so blimmin good i didn´t feel a thing or know waht was going on. When i came around i was wrapped in bandages, i have a compression bandage across my chest which i have to leave on for a week. So at the moment i look really really flat!!!! I have some pain but it is more of a stinging pain. And this tight bandage feels as if it is riding down my chest a bit as i have no breast now to hold it up!- Also i was shocked for my surgeon to tell me that the silicone implant in my right had split/ had a tear! This has been sent off to the lab--so really not sure what to make of this. I am just taking paracetamol for pain at the moment--i am hoping this will be enough. I am tired now so off to sleep. Thanks once again for all you wishes of good luck/support. I cannot really say how i feel about it all at the moment-- it is too early and what with this stinging pain it is hard to really say i am really really positive.

Hi all well it is day 3 today. (post op)....

5 Sep 2012

1 day post

Hi all well it is day 3 today. (post op). Yesterday i took one lot of paracetamol and thats it! I took Traumeel tabs (hoemopathic) 3 times and that was enough. The traumeel worked a treat, i really can say i have NO pain. I felt so good yesterday i tried to walk the dogs with my husband in the morning but gave uo half way as i felt a bit weak and a little sore from the movement of this support bandage so i walked slowly home. I have had a problem with the tight bandage around my chest as it slips down but i have solved this by using old bra straps and safety pinning them to this thick wad of bandage, and i am much more comfortable now. I am sure this type of compression is helping with the bruising and swelling. I have no idea what is going on in there, i am quite comfortable BUT this bandage is so tight i look as flat as a pancake! It is so weird when i turn sideways---and my clothes look odd! I have managed to find a strapless bra top thing where i am able to stuff some padding down so i am wearing this over the compression bandage to give me a bit of a bump!!! We even went out for a me with my brother in law and wife last night and played cards til the early morning. I am so relieved and SO POSITIVE now it is all over. I am more determined then ever to accept the new me or should i say the old me. I can honestly say i dont care how they look--- i am just so pleased those bits of silicone are OUT! Roll on next week when the bandage comes off. Post op appointment not until the 13th sept! Thanks for all your support girlies. xxxxxxxx

Hi all its day five today. I can honestly say I...

7 Sep 2012

3 days post

Hi all its day five today. I can honestly say I don't have any real pain, more a discomfort although last night I did have more of a dull ache on my left side. I think I over did it yesterday so I am going to try to take it easy today. Emotionally I feel ok, I think …but it is hard or should I say weird as I am five days post explant but I haven't even seen my breasts yet! I wont get the chance until Thursday when this compression bandage comes off. This really really scares me as I have no idea what to expect. I am a bit down about going out as I do look so flat and eveything I wear shows this bandage sticking through so its really loose tops. My daughter has been laughing at me as over the top of the bandage I wear a stretchy sort of boob tube bra which I have padded out with cotton wool pads --just to give me a bit of a bump! Oh well thats my story so far. I think today is a bit of a wobble day for me.

Hi all, well my first day back to work today! I am...

10 Sep 2012

6 days post

Hi all, well my first day back to work today! I am now home resting on my bed, l think l have over done it a bit …it is hard as I am a nurse and had to visit my clients in the community, at their homes to do dressing changes, sort out medication etc. They obviously have no idea what I have had done so l tried to carry on as normal but the bending over and reaching for equipment was tough. I dont have a choice, my recovery time was my holiday …my work boss has not offered me sick time. I am just trying to be careful and luckily I still have this compression bandage on so I think this helps. I have noticed now I do have a weird stinging pain in both breasts towards the nipples, I think and a dull ache in my left breast. Just hope all is ok in there! It is not painful enough to take pain killers. I am so lucky as so far I have only needed one lot of paracetamol, that's all! I just wanted to say also that despite this discomfort it really is great to be back to work, I feel sort of normal again. No longer a patient, and also not having time to dwell on stuff …I 'm gonna stay positive …But still scared about seeing all ME this Thursday and so so scared of the reaction I may get from my husband. He loves me and he says he doesn't care about how I may look but it still worries me...... oh well after today two more days to go! Then I will have to upload some more pics. X

Hi all, well the compression bandage came off.......

13 Sep 2012

9 days post

Hi all, well the compression bandage came off.... I knew it wasn't good news by the shocked expression by the nurse. Both my nipples have caved in completely …the sutures are just below the nipple. I have alot of scaring which has pulled both of them down. My ps said to massage the scar tissue straight away to loosen it. I really dont feel comfortable to do this. God at the moment I am sooo trying to be strong but the tears are freely flowing. I cant bring myself to post my pictures, I am so embarrassed. I feel like..... well it serves me right, I should not of been so vain in the first place. I feel I have been punished …there is no way I can show my husband. At this moment I just want to curl up in a ball …I will bounce back I suppose. Just having a huge wobble today. I just dont know what to do about the sunken nipples. Any advice out there?

Hi all well here goes i am putting pictures up! I...

15 Sep 2012

11 days post

Hi all well here goes i am putting pictures up! I think well if it helps others then so be it---i am worried i may put people off explant but not all explants go smoothly, I am also putting these pictures up for support as there maybe more girlies out there who have experienced the same with uneven breasts and caved in nipples! I really thought this was going to be a walk in the park for me as with the compression bandage on i had no pain-- i was comfortable although it was very tight against my chest and i felt hot all the time. But i had not seen my breasts so i was still positive---until Thursday when the bandage came off and my world came crashing down around me. My PS shrugged her shoulders when she saw the horror on my face about my deformed breasts---it was almost like---I told you so! She always was pushing me to go for a smaller implant. I can understand her reasons for this now as i think i was a AA before, i had no breast tissue to begin with then she put in 350CC each side and stretched my skin to the limit---I NEVER ASKED FOR this. I just wanted to be a B cup but instead i was a C/D cup. Now my nipples have caved in, my breasts are distorted and seem to spread across the whole width of my chest. I am desperately trying to stop the nipples from caving in by using mepore tape on my breast and pulling it tight sticking it further up my chest to hoist the nipples up. I am so afraid to take this tape off now as i am sure they will cave in. I now know for the past 5 yrs i have been walking hunched , so to try to hide my breast size. One shoulder is lower then the other so now i am trying to sit more up right and stick my chest out. This also helps to keep the nipple a bit more in line. Emotionally i am a wreck! I cant seem to focus on much other then work--this is helping me to forget, but when i am home i have no enthusiasm for anything. I just keep pulling my top open and staring at my misshaped breasts. I have been tearful on this sight too as I am over whelmed at all your posts. Thank you so so much to everyone. I just pray that every day i get stronger, find more acceptance about what has happened, try to focus on what is really important in my life like my family and friends. It is so hard though to remain focused and positive--having huge huge wobbles at the moment. xxx

Hi all well GUTTED today--no change in my breasts....

16 Sep 2012

12 days post

Hi all well GUTTED today--no change in my breasts. I had a shower and took all the tape off which i had put on myself. The nipples are folding into my breasts. I really dont think, if this is permanent, that i can live with this. If anything today they are worse and so misshapen. I will ask the consultants here for advice. I am so low. I will post pics to show you. I really do believe this is because i had both my surgeries under the nipple so the scar tissue is pulling them in. I would really really urge anyone out there who is thinking of explant to question if your surgeon wants to go under the nipple. I do believe this is the problem.

Hello girlies, well i had another consultation...

20 Sep 2012

16 days post

Hello girlies, well i had another consultation yesterday, i felt really negative and nervous after the last reception i had with my PS. Anyway i did not see my PS only the nurse who was lovely. She removed my stitches and i had a little cry telling her how ugly i feltl. She reassured me that it is early days (as ALL of you have told me!) To massage , massage , massage with rosehip oil!!! I have another consult with the boss in 2 weeks. I feel a little better now and i dont feel as if my PS has given up on me just yet.

The massaging is awful though. It makes me feel sick when i massage. I have a large hard lump under my right breast. I hadn´t really massaged that hard before but the nurse told me I have to be a bit firmer so i was shocked when i felt this solid lump. It is like a pebble, the approx size 5cm by 4cm. Has anyone else experienced this? (this was the side that i had my CC on--I did not have a capsulectomy) My PS said it was not necessary as the capsule would be absorbed by my body over time. Well thats it, my breasts i would say are the same. I am starting now to accept them more and i do like the softness of them, despite the hard lump and i do look ok in a padded bra as my nipples. or the indent does not show through. I am now starting to feel more positive, i MUST NOT give up already. I think i may have turned a corner as i am now determined to try to get these nipples sorted--by massaging so religiously every day i will massage for 10 minutes twice a day. Is this enough??? Not sure how often to do it. Thanks to you all for your posts x

Hi all , well i am still trying to comes to terms...

23 Sep 2012

19 days post

Hi all , well i am still trying to comes to terms with how i look. I can deal with the breast size as if i feel a little down some days about my size then i can just wear a padded bra. (well i have to wear a padded bra constantly as if not everyone can see the indent of were my nipples should be!). My nipples are still as they were when the bandage came off. No matter how much i massage or put tape up to try to get them in a better position. I am still praying something will happen and they will get better... time will tell. I probably wont be writing on this site for a week as I have to return to the UK, my father in law is seriously ill so the whole family are going back. Take care girls. I might get the chance to check emails of how you are all doing. Hang in there--we stay united. xxxxx

Hello Girlies, I have not been posting for a while...

1 Oct 2012

27 days post

Hello Girlies, I have not been posting for a while as had to rush off to the UK as my father in law was very sick. Sadly he passed away on Thursday. I am home now. It has really been an emotional time but it has put things into perspective about my breasts. I realise now that they are not the end of the world if they remain a bit deformed.

I am now almost 4 weeks and there is still NO change with the nipples, they almost fold into my breasts and they are both exactly the same. I am convinced it is how the incision is healing. No matter how much i massage or put on tape it makes NO difference. I am thinking is all this stress worth it, massaging twice a day for nothing?? It only makes me have to look at them even more. I can accept the size and i look ok in a padded bra. It is just the intimate bit which is going to be hard. I will not let my husband any where near me. I am so scared i will freak him out. He said he is fine about it and that it really will not bother him. I just have to get over my fear of rejection--but i am sure everything will be ok. I see my surgeon on Thursday -- so will wait to see what she has to say before i post any more pics--but as i have said there is NO change--I actually think the scar is causing them to fold further into my small breasts. I have read some of your posts on other sites so been keeping up to date when i have had the time. Hope everyone is ok xxxx

Hi Girlies, well here is my update—i saw my...

5 Oct 2012

1 month post

Hi Girlies, well here is my update—i saw my consultant yesterday. I have not seen her for 3 and a half weeks as the nurse removed my stitches last time. When i took my bra off she just took one look, her faced dropped and she said ONE word—TERRIBLE! She was really shocked at the state of my nipples. She was really sorry for me, even though she said the word terrible she was caring and she was very open about it. She really wants to help me and wants to see me again in one month. She basically told me the scar is pulling my nipples in. They are worse than before. I can’t send any posts as they are really bad. You can’t even see the bottom part of both the areola as they have gone in so far into my breast. I asked her about a breast pump, she had never heard of it before but she said it could be a good idea and try it. She said massage like hell!! Take pain killers if it is painful but really massage hard on the scars. It is not one breast but both—they are disgusting—i am not exaggerating.
I asked her about a revision in 6 months—she said let’s wait first BUT she did say if i needed a scar revision she would not charge me, only the fees from the hospital. I think she was so shocked and disappointed for me. I really don’t think it is her fault, it is just the way i have healed. So i am going to love you and leave you now and go and lie on my bed and massage---I can’t get away from these breasts and it depresses me every time i have to do it., it hurts and makes me feel sick to the stomach. BUT i have NO choice.
HOWEVER--- i have NO regrets whatsoever about having the implants out. I like the size i am just hate my nipples. I still read alot of your posts and try to keep up to date with everyone but i do find it hard to join in as my problem is so different. Like one of you said thank god i have Elle---my boobie friend xxxx Take care all of you. once again thank you for all your kind words-- i really could not go through this with out you all xxxxx

Hi to all of you lovely people out there just to...

9 Nov 2012

2 months post

Hi to all of you lovely people out there just to up date you---I saw my Doc yesterday-- I took my,breast pump, vibrating massager, pillow massage, my vitamin E tabs, my silicone scar strips!! I think she thought I had gone MAD!!! Anyway I thought lets go for it so I plugged in the devices and showed her--stripped off and got on with it!! I am not sure she knew how to react! After all this I broke down and cried! I told her I felt so ugly and that I wouldn´t let my husband near me.

She was great. She told me to stop obsessing over my nipples, to only massage as if it was a routine like doing your teeth and to get on with my life. She said she was so sorry for me. I could see she really did mean it. She did say looking at my breasts they have improved only very slightly and she does think I will definitely need a scar revision and told me it is a really simple operation. I don't even have to go back to theatre so I felt better about that. She did reassure me that my problem was definitely reversible so even though I cried I did feel better for hearing that. I said to her if you cut the scar inside wont it adhere again but she reassured me and explained to me how she will do it so it will not happen again. She was honest with me and told me it was very likely that I would need this done. She said she really wants me to wait 8-12 months for the revision to get the best results afterwards as there is still so much healing to be done inside naturally. I do trust her and feel much more confident with her now. I will go back in 2 months but she said at any time I can call her and come and see her. So thats it. I really hope my story can help others and dont be down hearted if the same thing happens. I was not one of the girlies on here that loved their breasts straight after explant. It has taken me some time to accept my small size again and now i think i have reached that point of acceptance and can move on. I will post some more pics--i am scared to do this as i am sure there is no improvement. I will only tell myself by looking at more pics. All the pics i had taken i have deleted--these pics are the only ones i have. I have to wait for my lovely daughter to take some pics for me-- not very good doing it
myself. My little 13 yr old shadow has be great for me! So has my husband--but he is afraid to come near me now for fear of more rejection from me--i will have to do something about that too!!! hope you girlies out there are all ok xxxxx

Hi all well its been quite some weeks since i...

18 Dec 2012

3 months post

Hi all well its been quite some weeks since i updated. I sometimes write on other girlies experiences but not on mine. There is not much to say! Still nipples not behaving despite massaging, using Bio oil , taking vitamin E and multi vitamins. I really don't like my breasts at the moment. They seem to be misshapen again. I wear bra´s at times but sometimes when i am at home i don't and not in bed either. Still shocked when i am in bed at how small they are. My husband used to roll over to me in bed and cuddle up and grab my boob. I miss that --well there is nothing to grab anymore!!! Love my hubby to bits but hard to feel all woman again with my marbles. Sometimes i am angry with myself that i am so vain. I am healthy, that is all that should matter. I do wish i had more breast though. BUT i would never have implants again. I went through 5 years of not liking them , feeling self conscious--so relieved that these toxic bags are out. Maybe if and when i have a revision then i will feel better, more positive.

I don't massage as much. My breasts appear to have shrunk more and am afraid if i massage too vigorously there will be nothing left!!!! LOL. I only massage now when i have time after a shower. I try not to let my breasts take over my life anyone.
Oh and i want to add that now i am smaller all my bra´s seem to ride up when i lIft my arms up! This never happened before. Has anyone else got this problem. I am forever grabbing my bra´s and pulling them down. I know what some of you may say--go for a smaller bra but i hate anything tight across my chest. Maybe i should drop from a 34 to a 32???

I wish all of the girlies here a FABULOUS IMPLANT FREE Christmas and New Year. AND ALL THE VERY BEST to the girlies waiting in the wings. We are almost there Loubedoo. I remember when i joined this site i read your posts and i remember you writing fast forward to Christmas---well here we are!! WE DID IT!!! I am so proud to be natural again (just wish i was made a bit bigger!!!) Love to all of you and huge huge implant free hugs xxxxx THANKS ONCE AGAIN FOR ALL YOUR WORDS OF SUPPORT AND KINDNESS. X

Hi all, still read posts old and new. Just a quick...

7 Feb 2013

5 months post

Hi all, still read posts old and new. Just a quick up date from me! I saw my surgeon last week. She said i will need a revision regardless of massaging etc. I do agree no matter how hard i massage the nipples or the scar has adhered to the chest wall and will need to be released BUT i have to wait one year from the surgery so have to put up with these breasts until Sept/October. BUT i am now in acceptance with my body. I accept i have a small frame and small breasts are much better for me. I used to have a chronic back ache which has now gone--i am convinced it is since these implants were removed. I still get a bit self conscious when i see people i have not seen for some time with my natural look--i sometimes get paranoid that they know what have i done!! stupid thoughts. Next thing on my list is to go and get a real nice PADDED bikini which will hopefully show that i still do have boobs. I am so happy to be implant free and not to feel labeled false and plastic and vain (no one labeled me like this but that is how i felt with them in). I went on a coach trip recently and sat opposite this lady who was on her own, we got talking and i lent her my magazine --she happened to turn to a page with celebs in Bikinis and she started to go on about false breasts and how terrible they are and harmful to your body. I felt elated that i was no longer tarred with the same brush. I was with my daughter and we just sat and giggled. My journey is almost over--hurrah! (one thing my surgeon said was stop wearing bras --wear very tight boidy tops to the breast is almost squashed so that i can try to keep the breast up and keep pulling the nipple up--i get her point--in bras they do not support the nipple area--just the breast, but the tight tops really make me look flat so i wear a padded bra over the top!!!!!!!!

Hi all well i still read so much about so many of...

5 Apr 2013

7 months post

Hi all well i still read so much about so many of you. I sit and sometimes talk to the screen! I have my dark moments but today i am having a good moment! I found quite a nice bikini and a bra to lift my spirits! And for once i feel a little more sexy –WITH A NICE BRA on!! My husband and I go away for the weekend next week so i really have tried to find a nice bra and matching knickers!!! Really pleased today! So finally if i go out there and look I can find bras to fit me. I am still coming to terms with my size---really need to get a grip i know! Also ordered the Voda Swim bra that Free2beme recommended (thank you for that xx)—I can’t wait for it to arrive. It cost a fortune but i am sure it will be worth it. The bikini i bought today was very cheap and will probably last 5 mins but at least i have one i feel comfortable in and not completely flat. Slowly but surely i am accepting my little boobies again. Just waiting in the wings for my revision in September. Love to read all your stories. Without you all i know i would NEVER of got through this. Take care all my boobie friends, old and new—keep posting xx

Hi all sorry to bore you but i just got my voda...

17 Apr 2013

7 months post

Hi all sorry to bore you but i just got my voda swim Bikini and feel great in it and posted two pics. It is soooo comfortable and i feel a million dollars in it!!!!! Thanks free2bme for recommending this company. xx

Revision surgery to correct nipples 12/09/13!!!

10 Sep 2013

1 year post

Hi all. Well its been a long time since i have been on this site. I have tried not to eat, breathe ,dream breasts and nipples 24 hours a day. It has been a long year with my breasts. I am still going through acceptance. I so wish i was like so many of you on the other side who are soooo happy with their results. Well i will be honest with you all and say i am still finding it hard. I am so hoping that this acceptance thing is purely down to the problems with my nipples and not my teeny size. I really would love a bit more breast but i have to accept I am not made that way; although I do envy woman with a little bit more then me! I DO NOT envy ANYONE with implants---to me they all look so fake and ridiculous. Anyway it was one year for me post surgery on the 4th September. I am posting this and some pictures as on Thursday the 12th September i will have my revision operation of my nipples. This is to release the scar which has adhered. I am praying this will be the last of it. I have decided to post pictures just before and after- even if this surgery is not successful. I have joined real self and i have followed many stories and i think it is only fair for me to post and up date you all. I have everything crossed for Thursday this operation is a success. Hope all you girlies are ok out there xx

more pictures, one year post op

10 Sep 2013

1 year post

revision done!!

13 Sep 2013

1 year post

Hi all, well i had my revision done yesterday. What an experience that was. It was all done in her consulting room on a medical couch. I had to put on the theatre hat, take off top layer of clothes then I was covered in greens---just like in theatre and then I could see everything that was happening! I so wish i had been screened off or they could of played some music. I laid there for an hour and 20 minutes while they cut and snipped away at my poor breasts. The local was the worst--sharp searing pain but only lasted a few seconds but then i did not feel a thing. Just heard all the snipping at my breast tissue. Pulling and pushing and burning of the blood vessels---ohhh BOY that was the worst! The smell of burning flesh. I still have that smell in my nostrils today. The nurse and consultant did have some problems stopping the bleeding on my left side. After it was all done I am covered once again in a sticky compression bandage and have to leave this for one week. I have no idea how many stitches i have but it seems to be more then last time. I asked her how much she took away--i was soooo scared she had removed most of my breast ! In fact she had removed only a small finger nail full of hard scar tissue. Then i left. I asked her how much-- i asked the nurse and she said nothing!!!! As it was all in Spanish maybe she assumes i will pay next week. I really dont know!!! Anyway after this op i went for a coffee and a cake with my hubby, off to do a big shop for the weekly food, then home where i started to tidy up a bit. Then finally i sat down. Then the pain started! It began like a stinging pain and soon became more of a burning type pain. It was so bad i had to take paracetamol. I checked all the padding for bleeding and blood started to seep through the padding on my left side. This really freaked me out. I went to bed to try and lie still. Then the crying started as i thought about the last 6 yrs --the implants, explant and now this. I felt like i had been butchered. ANDit was all my fault. I was SO ANGRY and disappointed with myself for what i had done. Then the regrets about the revision--what if i am more disfigured. Why didn't i just leave things as they were. Maybe these are all natural thoughts but the memories of the last year came to me yesterday and i was in floods of tears. So i couldn't post yesterday. Today i feel a bit better. The bleeding has stopped. The pain is a sort of smarting pain--like someone has stuck a hot poker in my breasts. This is more painful then the explant--i had NO PAIN on explant so this has come as a shock to me. I am now trying my best to get positive --but negative thoughts keep coming into my head--i am almost convinced this op will make no difference and that i have been scared for life. I wish i wasn't such a blimmin pessimist. Thankfully my hubby is much more positive and snaps me out of my deepest thoughts. Maybe once this pain goes then i will feel more positive. It is harder than my explant as i have bled quite a bit so i am more careful now not to over do it but i would so love to go out and walk my dogs but i think i should take it slow today--really dont want the bleeding to start. Plus my PS is a 90 minute drive away. I promise as soon as these dressings are off i will post pics--good or bad. Thank you once again to you all for reading and listening to me. I am sure you must be fed up with me by now. And some of you must think---REED snap out of it!! I AM TYRING girlies xxxxxx kisses to you all.

9 days post revision sugery

21 Sep 2013

1 year post

Hi all well dressings are off! Here are my pics. Boy there is some swelling--wish my breasts would stay that size.LOL! I have sutures in and congealed blood around the nipple so it is still too early to tell but i think they look a bit better---not sure. Stitches come out next Thursday then the massaging starts---not allowed to massage yet! Hope everyone ok on here. x

DON'T DO A REVISION!!!

20 Oct 2013

1 year post

Hi fellow boobie friends! Well its been a long time again since i have been back to this site. Well what a blimmin journey---and its NOWHERE near over! Unfortunately my boobies decided to change shape again. Meaning the nipples have pulled in again. I am right back to square one with the added problem of ribbon scaring! Both breasts have developed a thin tight band that is attached to the beneath of each nipple/ areola area and trails down both sides of my stomach, past my rib cage and beyond. Its incredible what my body is doing. I feel like some kind of alien! When i stretch my arms up all you can see is this attached tight ribbon band from both breasts and down past my rib cage. It feels so tight and it is also sore when i stretch up and reach for something high up out of a cupboard. I am now having acupuncture---50€ each visit. Taking vitamin E and massaging like mad but not much change. I suppose you are wondering how i feel emotionally--well the only word i can say is--NUMB!!--SHOCK--Disbelief. Why me!!!
I am adding this review as i really would not want anyone else to go through what i am going through. I think i was crazy to of had the revision now as when you think about it ---i had adhesion's following explant. Then i had the revision, the surgeon cut into my breast tissue again and once again more adhesion's have formed but this time much worse! My PS has not seen me for over 3 weeks-I was supposed to go last Thursday but she cancelled my appointment--i see her this coming Thursday--she is going to be horrified at my breasts!

I have been surfing the net desperately trying to find anything which will help. I have found drugs to take to help break down the fibrin in scars but very expensive. Have any of you heard of_vitalzym or serrapeptase (from the silk worm). Has anyone out there tried them??
Anyone got any advice of what else i can do---pleassse. Elle1991 on here has been my lifesaver. I hope everyone is OK out there and sorry if i have missed anyone's posts or up dates--i have been a bit detached from this site for a while. I just need a bit of pepping up now--if you know what i mean xx

Up to date photos of my revision

21 Oct 2013

1 year post

Hi all I thought i would be brave and post you pics so you can see what i mean---look closely at my skin beneath both breasts to see how the scarring ribbon has taking hold and is travelling down to my stomach!
Anyone out there even considering scar revision--DONT DO IT!!!

Almost three months after my revision

15 Dec 2013

1 year post

Well here l am again with my update! Not much to shout about. I have had five sessions of acupuncture to help with the scaring and hardness which i do believe has helped. I did do lot of massaging to begin with but now i am tired of this. I am done with it all...no more of anything..the final thing l am trying is Vitalzym tablets...supposed to be good for internal scarring. Thanks to everyone for all your posts of advice and support. I hope you are all doing well out there...l hope you all have a great Christmas...l look forward to 2014...I will close some doors to 2013! Onwards and upwards!!!!! I won't be beaten by theses breasts..they are only a small part of me. X

four months after revision

17 Jan 2014

1 year post

Hi all...just a quickie ..l am still taking the vitalzym meds ..started this in December and l increased the tablets to six a day for a while as stated to break up scar tissue...l really thought the tablets were a gimmick but then when my period should of stopped in December it didn't! I kept bleeding then i noticed more bruising over my body particular over my breasts! I looked up the side effects of this drug and it can cause bleeding and a longer menstrual cycle..so it was doing something! I dropped down to four a day..l still have light bruising over my breasts but nothing more. I do feel my right breast is definately softer and the ribbon scaring is less noticeable..so some positives...my nipples are not great..but that is my judgement. I am ashamed to admit my husband has still not seen my breasts since l explanted almost 16 months ago ...l still struggle with acceptance and sadly low self esteem which in turn makes me angry that i feel this way. It is my problem and l have to deal with this face on but l am still terrified of rejection. Its ridiculous as we have been married for 22 yrs and l know he loves me dearly..we are both worried of hurting each other..one of us needs to get a grip...l know i need to so hopefully soon l will finally accept these battered bodies. Love the skin your in..easier said then done!

final pics for you all x

16 Feb 2014

1 year post

Well its been a while again....here are my final pics of how i am up to date. Since the last post i have done nothing but take vitalzym, i haven't even massaged. I hate it all now. I think there is a slight change to the breasts but they are misshapen still. I do not like my size...but this is me--how i was made and i have to accept it. I feel i have been teased by having the implants and what i could of looked liked--although the surgeon went too big, i only wanted a B cup. But for the years they were in I hated the falseness of them. So a AA I am!! Maybe i am one of those people floating around the universe never settling for what you have got! Well i am being honest and no i dont really like my breast size...maybe one day i will love them but i think that is highly unlikely. I just have to focus on my family, my life and that i have good health. Nothing more should matter.
And REAL SELF CHICKS OUT THERE ------YES ! YOU ALL ROCK XXXXXXX thankyou all so so so much for your words of kindness and support xxx I will never forget this site and from time to time i will take a look and see what is going on.

FAT TRANSFER--ANY ADVICE!

18 Jun 2014

1 year post

Hi all well a quick up date, i think i am going to go for a fat transfer--I copied this from the surgeon's website:-What is REGENERATIVE plastic surgery?

Traditionally plastic surgeons "reconstruct" using near or distant tissues with skin flaps and grafts. However, the REGENERATIVE CELLULAR PLASTIC SURGERY with the necessary tissues for a reconstruction can be obtained using the patients’ own cells which can regenerate themselves into the type of tissue necessary.

This is achieved using your "own regenerative cells" which have the potential to differentiate themselves (transform themselves) in many types of cells (muscle, blood vessels, fat, nerves) giving the plastic surgeon another alternative to reconstructive treatment. It really is another DIMENSION.

---It is more than a fat transfer and takes some fat from my stomach cleans it and replaces in my lower breast. (in a nut shell!) There is guarantee of regeneration and growth but NO guarantee of how much but it will make my lower breast and nipples look so much better. I may need 2 treatments, cost per treatment 2000€. Has anyone heard of this before? I am 44yrs old, i look in the mirror every day and hate how my breasts look, i am excited that this surgeon can help me and def knows what he is talking about--now i just have to save up!!! I my be on this planet for quite a few years to come and want to do something to make my nips a bit better--hey i may even go topless one day!!! LOL

Two years post explant and trying to move on!

7 Sep 2014

2 years post

Well i got a reminder from Real self to post another review as it has been 2 years now since my explant. I have just taken some more photos so here goes...... I only have photos of my breasts on here, all files at home have been deleted, i dont want a reminder of my journey! Most days i still look at them and regret what i did. I am in two minds about going for the fat transfer, will it make enough difference to me? Will i always be searching to get my nipples back how they were? Am am throwing money away? (which to be honest i dont have!!!) To be honest I have now finally excepted the size and for some reason i seem to have gone from a AA cup to maybe a small B cup, depending on what shop i buy my bras from! I dont know why they are slightly bigger but i am now ok about the size. THe nipples--well maybe one day i might except them. I am not going to rush into anything at the present moment. I have more important things to spend my money on like saving for a new car! Maybe i am now done with all of it, i am really not sure. At the moment i am doing ok. Life is good, i have a fab husband who loves for for who i am, he is not disgusted by how i look, but he supports me either way if i do go down the route of fat transfer. He has seen the tears i have cried over these breasts, but now i am thinking, HEY! there are so many people out there worse off then me. Whats a couple of weird looking nipples anyway! So thats it, me up to date! Probably no more reviews now unless i do go for the fat transfer. Take care all you ladies , old and new out there xxx