Friday, September 9, 2011

So, as many of you know, we are avid readers and listeners to audio books. We routinely have dozens of books out of the library at a time and always have a story going in the car and sometimes a second on in the house. We read aloud (or try to) nearly every day. We love books. And it is with a heavy heart that I have to just say that no one in this house can read a certain author. Ever. But, that is where I'm coming down on Tamora Pierce and her Alanna series.

I was initially really pumped about this series. In a nutshell, it's about a young girl who really would rather be a boy - instead of heading to the convent like she should, she switches places with her twin brother (who would rather be a wizard than a knight) and goes to the castle to be trained as a knight. And, since I have one who often feels the same way - that she would rather be a knight than a lady any day - I thought surely this series who give some good messages about being who we are rather than always longing for something else. And since I didn't finish the book or series, and have absolutely no desire to at this point or any conceivable point in the future, maybe eventually Pierce gets around to those kinds of messages....but somehow I doubt it. Alanna is a whining liar....and a first-class manipulator - an unrepentant fool. Great role model.

But wait, there's more.

In any coming-of-age story involving girls, clearly you expect to tread some muddy waters. And the section of the story about Alanna's changing shape was a little too frank for my comfort, but since I've only got girls listening, I let it go without comment. But when the next big change comes for Alanna, she takes herself off to a healing woman since she really doesn't understand what is happening to her. The conversation between them goes well beyond 'frank' totally into the land of 'holy crap, are you kidding me?????'. The healing woman gives her the basics - and then finishes with this bit of advice: The only way to stop your cycle is lie with a man and get with child. And follows up with this question: Do you know what happens when you lie with a man? Ummm, excuse me? At this point, I turned this off in the car so that I could listen to the answer to this question without the kids. And the answer had to do with whether or not men and women enjoy 'laying together' and that laying with a man makes babies. Alanna is then given a magic charm to wear around her neck to keep her from getting pregnant when she does 'lay' with someone.

WHAT???? Really, I about had a STROKE.

What the heck kind of lesson is this for our girls?

And out of 606 reviews on Amazon, 523 gave this 5 stars. I read almost all of the 1 and 2 star reviews and rarely were moral issues raised - particularly appalling since as the series goes on, Alanna actually 'lies' with no less than three teenage boys! WHAT?????

Look, I know I'm stuffy and frumpy and old-fashioned. But why, why do we want to teach our daughters that they have to be like men to mean something? Why do we have to be so dang explicit about private issues? Why are we creating characters for our daughters to look up to who hate the parts and processes of their God-given bodies that make them who they are? And why do we indoctrinate them to believe that a 'magic charm' is all that stands between them and 'safely' satisfying their lust?

Dads and Moms, make your own choice, but as for me and my house....we ain't inviting Tamora Pierce in here again.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Well, the monkeys are all with Gram for a while today...I'm supposed to be cleaning and sewing a skirt....I'm cruising the 'net and trying to figure out why Facebook won't let my cutie videos play....on a positive note, I did get boxes for Big Sarge packed and sealed, and all the customs nonsense filled out - so post office on Monday!

Then, back to Gram's for pot roast. Baths all 'round - always have to have a bath on Saturday because Jesus doesn't like you if you're dirty...

Tomorrow is church day, church day, church day. And picking up my Nana for Sunday dinner at the farm.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

I talk too much. And I referee too much. So, let me tell you a story about the day I actually shut my mouth.

I HATE bickering. I hate it when my kids pick at, poke at, aggravate at, and are generally mean to each other. I think it's awful. It seems like just a ridiculous waste of time and energy. My usual response is to intervene and try to logically explain to them why this nonsense ought to cease. I'm sure you can guess how effective this strategy is.

I think the reason that it's such an abyssmal failure, is that I'm always trying to be in on the solution. And if the problem isn't about me....guess what? The solution isn't about me, either.

So, a few nights ago, as we were driving home from Gram's......the bickering began in the back. And I said

And it got louder and nastier. And I said

And they were by now saying some really nasty stuff. REALLY NASTY. And I said

Instead of running my big fat mouth, I prayed. Prayed for silence, for patience, for remorse, for change of heart, that they would forget the nasty things they had heard said to them, for them to love each other.

By the time we got home, tempers were hot - Firecracker took off as if she had been shot out of a cannon as soon as the van door was open. She wasn't coming into the house. She didn't live here any more. She didn't care. She hated all of us. And I very calmly told her that if she wasn't on my 6 by the time I was inside, she was locked out for the night.

And the LadyBug began to cry.

Crying is not a normal activity for the LadyBug. I resisted the urge to let my mouth hang open in stunned amazement.

Somehow, we all made it inside and by the time I had the Griz settled and changed, the Bigs were each squirreled away in separate corners with notebooks and pencils, hard at work on something. It turns out that they were writing each other letters of apology.

I hadn't said a single word during the argument or since we had been home about what they should and should not do or say. I asked the LadyBug later what had happened and she told me that she just had to say she was sorry because some of the things she had said were SO mean and nasty.

Because I didn't referee the boxing match, it got really ugly, really fast....but I think that was the best thing for them. I didn't get in the way of the real ugliness of bickering and fighting at its end point. I never want them to say the really mean stuff, so I stop them. But on this occasion, I let them fire everything they had at each other. And once all that nasty stuff hit the air and they heard out loud all the things that they say in the privacy of their hearts, they heard and understood how dreadfully unkind and sinful it was. And the reality of it brought them to a place of repentence (for the moment....I'm sure we'll sing this song a few hundred more times around here).

And I began to think about all the little bits of bitter nastiness that I've got stored up all around inside of my heart. We all have piles and piles of nasty, oozy, black stuff that we harbor in our hearts towards other people; those vile, wretched, stored-up hateful commentaries that we have written about our friends and enemies - they seem somehow tolerable because they are only in our own minds and hearts. But it's not tolerable to the great God who discerns our thoughts from afar. And whether or not you can justify these nasties in your own mind, I'm pretty sure that God's not buying your excuse. People injure us. People are rude and ugly (in many different ways). People are spiteful and impatient and have wicked tongues. But that does not excuse our bitterness, anger and resentment of them. Because every ounce of injury and rudeness, every cutting remark, every slight that I have endured...I have earned them all (and more) by the injury I've done to others.

And what's more, if we are to be all in for Christ, hard followers of a risen Savior......the whole stinking point is Romans 5:8 anyway:

But God demonstrates His

own love toward us, in that

while we were still sinners,

Christ died for us.

We don't get to repay like with like. We don't get to get even. We don't get to wait sullenly until the other guy says he's sorry. Out of gratitude for the gift our very lives, our very next breath - we are to run to those who we ought to hate and shower them with mercy and kindness. We are to push through our feelings of distaste and mistrust and love those who have taken a big crap on us. We are to give our possessions to those who don't deserve them. And we're to do all this ridiculous stuff with a joyful heart.

That's just crazy talk, I know. But don't you want to live in a world of crazy people who love you, really love you in spite of yourself? Imagine for a moment what your marriage would look like. What your neighborhood would look like. Your workplace. Can you begin to imagine what your church would look like if you actually LOVED the people in the next pew - and they loved you.

Monday, July 25, 2011

And yet again, my four loyal followers may be wondering where I've been...And the answer is, I really don't know! It was so good to have the Big Sarge home for two weeks of leave, but I've not really gotten back into the groove since he left. Fatigue and discombobulation reign here at the LoveShack. I believe that we have hit.....

the wall.....yep, that's what my head is smacking up against lately. It's been great.

But, I am actually hoping that school will help. I'm hoping our first day will be August 15 - that gives me a little room to take off some time when Big Sarge is FINALLY HOME!!!! I'm hoping that back on a stricter schedule with everyone knowing what each day (in theory) will bring will help. Also beginning a major overhaul of our schoolroom, in the hopes that a little more order might help, too.

In other news...my biggest is away at camp. Sigh. And while the LadyBug has traditionally been a bit more cautious and not-so-keen on new stuff....she was pretty much like, 'see ya!'....and I was glad.

yep, that's a tepee...better her than me!

I miss her this week, and am DYING to know what she's up to (the first time ever that she's up to lots of stuff without me), but mostly, I'm glad she's there. LadyBug is our family anxiety sponge - and this deployment has been tough on her. She and Big Sarge are birds of a feather and so she misses him most particularly - and she frets about all of us. So, I'm glad that she's got a whole five days to do nothing but be a kid.

I'm off to put some shelves together.....drink a coffee.....and watch an episode of my new favorite show - Midsomer Murders.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

It's the day that we look forward to all year! It's Ernie Haase Day!!!

Who's Ernie Haase? Well, I'm gonna tell ya!

Oh, What a Savior! I love this guy's voice.

This will be the third year we've taken the monkeys to see these guys. And they are just as gracious as they are gifted.

Mr Ernie is so cool!

This is Devin....

And this is Doug Anderson...as yes, he's even cuter in person.

'Til We Fly Away

I love Firecracker's star-struck look!!

﻿

I didn't get a picture of the bass, Timmy Duncan last year...wish I had since now there's a new guy singing his part....so that's one of my goals for tonight!

I know that Southern Gospel isn't everybody's cup of tea, but I love the fact that these are the guys that my monkeys think of as rock stars and idolize. And they're funny, and real, and not stuffed shirts.....cool-ish men singing about Jesus!

One last song to sing us out....the song that started in all here at the Love Shack....

Thursday, July 7, 2011

So, since I haven't been around much, I thought this might be a good time to (re)introduce myself.

First, a recent photo:

I think it's really quite a good likeness. Sigh...been a long streak of stepping in it...sticking my foot in my mouth.....and eating humble pie. Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;
do not fret—it leads only to evil. Psalm 37:8

Or, then there's the face my kids see a bit too often....

Yeah, about that temper thing. Have yet to turn them bodily into stone, but what of their hearts? I tell them often that they can't use this or that circumstance as excuse for bad behavior, or bad attitudes. But too often, they feel the effect of my too tired, frayed nerves and bear the brunt of my bad attitude. And I guess you could say that with life as it is at the moment that we have every right to be tired and a bit worn around the edges....but do we? Yep, we're human and thus susceptible to difficulties of this life but we are also given some pretty non-negotiable instructions in Paul's letter to the Thessalonians: 16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
And then, there's my deployment fitness regime which has yielded really impressive results.

Yep, that's right - I've been following the Body by Grimace program. This consists of three pregnancies, two C-sections, and a grueling daily ritual that includes nightly snacking and a lot of time sitting on your rear-side watching movies and feeling sorry for yourself. It's been hell, but I'm trying to persevere. In truth, since Big Sarge is getting skinnier on the the Deployment Diet, I've decided to gain all the weight he's lost in the most unattractive way possible so that, when he's finally home for good, he'll feel really good about himself in contrast.

Seriously, I wonder when we will actually begin to really see our eating (over-eating, under-eating, junk-eating, obsessively-only-organic-everything-eating, etc.) as a spiritual issue. Because whichever way the wind blows us, it all comes down to pride, idolatry and materialism.....just like everything else that we trip over. Food ought to be a gift, a blessing and thing to be thankful for....but I'm not sure I know a single person who really sees it that way.

20 Do not join those who drink too much wine
or gorge themselves on meat, 21 for drunkards and gluttons

become poor,
and drowsiness clothes them

in rags. ﻿

Proverbs 23:20-21

Add it all together, and this is what you get:

This, for those of you who don't know, is an eggbeater. I'm pretty sure that this device is being cranked at an amazing rate of speed somewhere behind my bellybutton 24 hours a day. I'm still making to the end of each day, but barely. I'm still feeding all three children, but we've been eating a lot of popcorn. Everyone is still dressed, but more often than not, they're dressing out of the dryer. I'm still sleeping, but not deeply and not long. And I could easily point the finger at my current nemesis:

﻿

But, that's not the real root of the issue and we all know it. The root of the real issue is self-pity - pride's evil twin brother. The reason that the abundant life that the Lord designed and desires of us is so often out of reach is because we don't really want it. We're far too busy looking for the next sap to dry our tears and kiss our boo-boos that we become those things that seek to drag us down.

Yes, it's a hardship to be alone - or whatever your circumstance is. Yes, we were warned by Christ Himself to expect trouble - and we get it. And yes, there are terrible, tragic, grieving things that overtake us on this journey. But in the midst of these things, are we truly, truly seeing to worship and glorify God, or too often are we seeking after pity, desiring to be glorified for our handling of this or that, secretly enjoying our role as victim?

And yes, it's a process - we grieve in stages, we move through the process of accepting our lot, we grow and stretch and change in our circumstances.....but all this assumes some kind of forward motion. I don't know about you, but I spend a lot of time in neutral - just blindly moving from one assigned place and time to another.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

So, still digging out of the housekeeping hole that comes from two weeks of Big Sarge home (yippee!!!!), followed very closely by five days with my brother and nephew (yippee, again!!). But, here are some highlights for both of my loyal followers!

Daddie TOTALLY surprised us all - he snuck in the back

door and made us all scream like little girls - which made the Griz cry like a baby.

But, WHO CARES!!!

Trip to Lake Codorus - nothing like some water and

sunshine to brighten up your day!

Catoctin Zoo - everyone loved the deer - especially the Griz

who apparently ain't afraid of nothin' or nobody!

The Ladybug, The Firecracker and the Griz...ain't they cute!

The Griz's first swinginginginging...can't stop!

The boys hamming it up!﻿

People movers at the airport!﻿

Look - we're smiling even though we don't want to!

We don't travel without our Grammie! We love Grammie!

So, that's the leave that was.....come on Christmas so we can have him home for good!

Friday, June 3, 2011

Thank you Jesus for a day as a whole family together. Big Sarge thanks you. The monkeys thank you. And I thank you. A totally normal day.....yet elevated to heights of joy because we went to WalMart together. Sweet. And tomorrow, we're doing chores together. Sweet. Going to snuggle on the couch with a coffee and the Big Sarge and watch some tube. Together. Sweet.

Monday, May 30, 2011

Although it's one of those things in life that when you think about it, really isn't exactly 'happy.'

I took the girls to the parade today....was nice to be out with just the 'bigs' since the Griz went home with Grammie since it was so blasted hot today. And I was hatching a devious plot.....

This is a traffic camera:

That street light looking thing on the loopy stand thing (technical, I know) looks up Baltimore Street where it meets Steinwehr Ave. This is what he could see.

And I knew that Big Sarge knew about it because he told me that he watched it to check the weather where we are and when he gets homesick! And if you know me, you will know that I would never know a thing about traffic cams if it weren't for the Big Sarge....

I emailed Big Sarge and mentioned that it would be cool if he got online when the parade was going on so we could watch it together. Not exactly why PennDot put that camera there, but might as well use it for something good.

We got to Baltimore Street about 1:30 and picked out spots right next to the tent they set up for the wounded warriors (which was totally cool in itself since I got a chance to speak with a few of the wives and children.......awesome).

We busted out our sign:

And held it up tall and proud for Big Sarge to see! And he did! Granted, he really couldn't read it, but he knew that it was for him. And all intense cutie-ness of the blonde girls attracted a lot of attention. We were interviewed for Fox News, got lots of 'thank you's' for us and Big Sarge and had a great time. All the folks got a kick out of the furious texting back and forth between G-burg and the desert....especially when Big Dad mentioned that one of the bigs ought to sit still since he could see them wandering around on camera! The only bummer was that the news people didn't use the part of the interview where I told the whole world how proud we were of our soldier.....guess we'll have to tell him in person.

And then ice cream at the Sunset:

The Ladybug downs some cheesecake swirl.

Firecracker opts for watermelon.

And Mama let everyone stay up late to watch How To Train Your Dragon (cute, but a disappointment after reading the book).

A good, small-town kind of day......but, true freedom will never come from anything on this earth but only comes from the Lord of Heaven and Earth - the risen and reigning Jesus Christ.

Pray for our men and women in harm's way, away from home, training and serving wherever they are. Pray for their families - their husbands, wives, parents and children. Pray for those who mourn the loss of their soldiers. Pray for the injured to heal. Pray for peace. Pray. Pray. Pray.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

So, did I manage to accomplish anything on the weekend list????? Drum roll, please.....

That would be....

NO.

Except hanging out with my Nana....although she totally dissed me today in favor of having lunch with one of her girlfriends. Stood up by an old lady....a banner day! Actually, I thought the whole thing was cool - I hope to be with it enough at her age to still go out to lunch with my girlfriends!

Otherwise, a total loss on the list of things to get done! But, I hung out with my kids, did a pile of laundry, and got to church this morning.

Yeah, and about that church thing......wanna guess what percentage of the sermon I actually heard today? If you guessed about 2%, you're close. And this would be why:

Not exactly conducive to Mama getting to listen to the sermon...which is a bummer, since Tyler was preaching today - a rare and excellent treat. So it was back the nursery for me. In the end, I was glad of it, though - the baby nursery was hopping this morning and it was a great time of fellowship and chit-chat with a great bunch of ladies. We are each of us faced with a unique set of difficulties, challenges and blessings - but we hold in common a great love for our children, the desire to ever be better mothers and wives and the need for real, honest fellowship. It was a great morning!

Back to the grindstone for me......portfolio this week! Blessed week to all!

Saturday, May 28, 2011

For the last few years, our crib has lived at my mom's house. There wasn't any sense in it gathering dust here and she used it for my brother's kids when they came to visit. But, since the Griz is getting bigger by the minute and rapidly outgrowing the bassinet, it was time to bring the crib home. Good timing, really since the Big Sarge will be home in the next few weeks and there's probably not enough room for me, the Griz and the Sarge in a double bed. Maybe back when Big Sarge and Mama were a bit skinnier, but now, perhaps not so much.....

A large, obtrusive reminder that mid-tour leave is nearly upon us. The monkeys are excited. The Sarge is excited. I'm.....scared to death. I've been alone for over five months now. And I'm tired, and a little harried. But, I'm making it. I always do.

Since we've been married, the Big Sarge has often been away, or worked crazy hours or been on orders. We lived through several years of his being a National Guard recruiter. This equals crazy hours, always being available and taking appointments whenever and wherever you can get them. Then the first 362 day deployment. Then a few months of a civilian job where Sarge was home every night, but not making good money, so I worked at night. Then a job in the mobilization cell at Indiantown Gap where we averaged two nights a week and every other weekend with him home. Then last year, he was at Ft Dix for what amounted to almost 7 months when you added it all together. And now deployment #2.

dropping the Sarge off.....boo!

I'm good at being on my own. And not so good at having him here.

Most people think that the hardest thing would be to let someone else make the every day decisions that I can make all by myself - and do make all by myself. But for me, that's not really a big deal - it's actually a relief to have someone else hand out consequences, tell Firecracker if she's allowed to wear stripes and plaid together and tell me where they are going to drive me to eat supper.

And our life is so chaotic and our house such a pig sty that there's very little order that can be disordered around here.

For me, it's a heart issue. Too much time alone cultivates a hard heart in me. A heart that doesn't really want to need anyone. A heart would just rather be left alone. This is not exactly a healthy approach to marriage...

So, I'm striving to un-harden this heart of stone.....and I really want to succeed. I really want us to have a good two weeks. I really want the Sarge to head back to the sandbox knowing that he is loved, honored and respected. I really want to do this well.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Top of my list of weekend stuff is Nana-sitting! With my Dad out of town, I am blessed to get the responsibility of checking in on my 92-year old Nana this weekend.

Yep, it interrupts my day. Yep, I gotta stick the kids somewhere in case she needs my attention (thanks, Hoffmans!). But what a gift she is to all of us. Pray for her.....her youngest child passed away last week, she has profound hearing loss (which is unbearably frustrating for her), she's been alone since PopPop died when I was a baby, and she's ready to go home and be with her Lord. The kids and I took her out to supper tonight and I'm sure we were a sight.....from 92 to 7 months gathered round a table. And, I guess some people might think that we are kind for taking her out - but I know that ﻿we are the ones blessed by her presence, her testimony and her spunkiness.

Far down on the list of priorities:

-restocking some supplies for the Griz's formula from radiant life. Someday soon, I'll do post and tutorial about this and tell the story of my nursing journey with my little man.

-making a final decision about Latin curriculum....leaning towards Prima Latina for Ladybug.

-carving out some time with the Lord - my heart is totally unprepared for the Big Sarge to be home for mid-tour leave soon....(well, this isn't exactly 'far down' on the list of priorities.....but, I still wonder if I'll get to it....sigh)...

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

I love my herb garden! It's almost no maintenance since many herbs are perennials (they come up every year without me having to do a thing), most are really hardy (which means that even I can't kill them) and are beautiful and really good for you!

Monday, May 23, 2011

Yep, that's a load of diapers pinned to a length of twine in the middle of my totally messy house.

I'm so proud.....Either 1.) it must stop raining almost every day or 2.) the guy coming tomorrow to fix my dryer must be successful. But, at least the Griz's pee catchers are clean and will soon be dry!﻿

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Ladybug's been after me everyday about checking the mail......and finally, on Thursday, it came!!

Her packet from Our Military Kids. If you don't know about this organization, shame on you! They award grants (up to $500!!!) for camp, lessons or tutoring to kids of deployed members of the National Guard and to children of wounded veterans. Firecracker's been going to tap class on a grant and now Ladybug is heading off to camp in July. River Valley Ranch here we come!!!!! A week of trail rides, archery, swimming, Bible study and sleeping in a tepee! Not to mention a whole week without having to be Mama's sherpa! I'm excited for her and praying (really praying) for her to have a great experience...to hear God's truth in a new and heart-touching way. SUMMER CAMP!!!!!

Thursday, May 19, 2011

I love puff pastry. Really love it. Alot. I have read the label.....and I don't care. I still love it. And have NO desire to make it myself. Now that that's out of the way, here's what we had for lunch. One sheet of puff pastry got cut into quarters and stuffed with tuna salad and sharp cheddar. Yum. The second sheet also was quartered and stuffed with this deliciousness:
(oh, and I don't measure much so I'm taking a good guess here)
1/2 cup homemade cream cheese
1/4 cup crumbled bleu cheese
1 medium tomato, diced
big pinch each oregano and fennel seeds
salt and pepper

So good....big monkeys had a hard time deciding which to choose - Ladybug opted for tuna if she could 'please have a bleu cheese one for breakfast tomorrow.'

About Me

wife of the Big Sarge. blessed with three monkeys: Ladybug (10), Firecracker (8) and the Griz (2). seeking the will, the face and the direction of our Lord Jesus. and daily picking myself up, dusting myself off and starting all over again.....