WELCOME BACK!!! Welcome Week is well on its way and any walk through campus in the evening will display the Welcome Week shenanigans to any passers-by. Last night had quite a party scene indeed!

Enjoying some delectable beverages and some hookah puffs, the party was an eclectic mix of ages and personalities. The music that accompanied the mood on the porch outside set a very unique mood unlike the larger parties seen at Fraternity houses. The music kept changing genres and everyone present simply slipped into whatever mood the random DJs set. However, there was one song that kept being requested while everyone was dancing on the porch’s parapet. Cee-Lo’s viral hit Fuck You! Boy, does that song make a party explode with fun!

Now, the stage is set. Lots of drinks, exciting music, and people dancing on a narrow ledge with bushes below. Lo and behold, I hear everyone grimacing… I look to my right… and I see legs and underwear sticking out of the shrubbery. Meanwhile everyone is rushing to make sure the porch’s first victim is okay. She’s alright! But she’s upset… but I’m still laughing… because people falling (and drunk people falling off a porch ledge into bushes) is really fuckin’ funny!

While walking to meet some friends at Good Time Charley’s for some lunch (they just redid their menu… their burgers are delich!) I came upon an awkward cross walk. Now I’ve been crossing the odd angled intersection of Tappan and Oakland Avenue for over a year now and certainly have come to learn that drivers on Tappan do not have a stop sign. I’ll admit, I have walked in front of a car or two thinking they would stop. (Don’t worry, they did even without the stop sign.)

Yet, during my walk across the intersection, I encountered a disgruntled man on the other side of the cross walk. Why was he disgruntled you might ask? It’s because the car had stopped at the crosswalk, due to the other car blocking the intersection, and waved him to cross.

This man vehemently refused to cross the cross walk, loudly repeating to himself, “You don’t have a stop sign! GO!” The driver must have been so confused by the rejection of this random act of kindness (not really, the car had nowhere to go due to the blocked intersection.) However, the man did not at all notice the other car in the intersection.

To really show his disgust with this son-of-a-bitchnice driver, the man unabashedly shook his head while he walked up the sidewalk so that he could pass behind the car that waved him on.

I’ve never seen a pedestrian at uMich refuse the ability to cross the crosswalk… usually pedestrians here just cross for the hell-of-it! I can only wonder how badly that guy’s day was ruined by this driver’s inability to just keep on truckin’

Anyone present on Oakland Avenue earlier this morning (0420-0445) between Arch and East University were in for quite some entertainment. Now, I happen to appreciate the liveliness of this college town and appreciate noises outside my window late at night… It makes me feel like Ann Arbor never sleeps! But last night got me up from bed and peering out my window wide-eyed.

Numerous, loud male voices were rampant. Peering out my window I observed 10 or so swearing, yelling, and even crying. One removed his shirt. Many of them began picking up rocks from golf ball size to basketball size and throwing them at the opposition cursing them away. Obscenities were being thrown along with the rocks and one even wielded a long metal pole. As it calmed down and the group walked away, another one came running back crying out loud, “I swear to god! I swear to god!” When the group approached, he panicked, to which they responded, “Na, man. We got your back!”

At this point, more rocks were picked up, and the group of 10 or so moved back toward East University.

I heard by other eye witness accounts that the rocks were being aimed at someone’s car, and that soon enough the hooligans were dispersed by police.

I really do wonder if there was any real reason for this (quite entertaining) brawl, or if it was just alcohol and testosterone… either way the only real question I have is…

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been taking three summer classes here at the University of Michigan. For those of you not from Ann Arbor, I highly encourage you to spend a summer in this whimsical city… there aren’t many like it! Furthermore, although many dismiss summer classes as “sucking” since they are during the ever lackadaisical summer months, they are quite relaxing and seemingly more educational due to their laid back approach. But I digress…

As I wander the campus, I keep encountering The Michigan Daily in its colored print format. However, I’ve noticed that they only ever say Monday. With a little curiosity I learned that during the summer, they only print once a week. I suppose this makes sense due to the lack of demand with the low student count, but I couldn’t help but point out the irony here. Not only do they print once a week during the summer, but, as many may surely know, they do not print on Saturday or Sunday during the Fall and Winter semesters as well. Alas, I come to my point… Why the hell are they titled The Michigan “Daily?”

Print EVERY DAY and you may be called the “Daily” anything. But print once a week and “weekly” seems more appropriate. During the school year, perhaps they could use the title “The Michigan Week Day”… “Monday through Friday”… or “No One Reads On Weekends!”

Anywhoo… Here is my first critique of the vivacious Michigan Daily… Lesson: Always critique your media informants and never be afraid to give ’em shit! Take it Easy!

OMG! Get out of my way! Walking behind that d-bag who is texting and looking down creates the unique will to want to punch a baby. Usually, to make matters worse, the person texting is also the type that has no sole on the heel of their shoe because they are so frickin’ entranced in their digital conversation about last night or tonight that they forget to pick up their goddamn feet.

Once you’re behind them, you get the feeling of panic that “I’m not walking as fast as I was a second ago. Son-of-a-bitch! It’s a zombie texter!” Then a game of foot Nascar develops automatically. You start to take the outside lane, but almost inevitably, the texting pedestrian drifts in front of you with little regard for your on-time destination. Then, when the coast is clear, and your lane to speed opens up, a biker comes zipping by with an aggravated face as if to say, “Why are you walking shoulder to shoulder? Can’t you walk in a single-file?”

At this point, you slide back behind your momentary arch-nemesis and let the biker wiz by. It’s at this point that you begin to day dream of a pedestrian filled diag where a biker collides with a texting pedestrian and everyone around you cheers with admiration.

Finally, you make it past, and all is forgotten… until the next time…

Pedestrians… please pull over to text! You’ll save lives… if only your own.

Take it easy Wolverines!

UPDATE:

Seems like Andrea Bartz & Brenna Ehrlich have been reading uMich uDish, because their segment on walking while texting seems mighty similar… although I’m glad to know that Walking While Texting is not solely an Ann Arbor problem.

Check out this segment from a CNN Tech Blog article posted a few days ago:

It’s one thing to walk and talk with your phone glued to your ear.Research finds that you’re more likely to get run over while yakking, but hey, that’s a risk you take. However, tucking your chin to your chest and staggering along whilst reviewing your Match.com updates or checking the Facebook RSVP list for your “America’s Got Talent” viewing party is both stupid (cars!) and obnoxious.

It’s all about spatial awareness: Those who walk-n-surf tend to weave to and fro, making them impossible to pass on crowded or skinny sidewalks. Park yourself out of the current and against a wall, finish your phone time and pocket your cell before re-entering the deadened, zombified stream of pedestrian humanity.

Special request to those of you who live in subway-arteried cities: I know you’re super eager to breach fresh air and burst into the service zone, but for heaven’s sake, wait until you’ve crested the stairs to turn your attention to your mobile.

Your slow climb is pissing off scads of already addled public transportation users. One day they will push you to your death, and all those shuffling aforementioned zombies will likely trample you under their distracted soles.