Life is about living fully, laughing loudly and loving completely ~ then trying to find the words to describe the way your soul is dancing!

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Monthly Archives: July 2016

There are some days I find myself confused about life. My confusion ranges across many things and admittedly at the moment it’s the craze that is Pokemon Go.

For some this may have you aghast at such narrow minded, snobbery ignorance I must hold for all the fun I am missing and for others you may have already rolled your eyes that the topic of Pokemon Go has again raised it’s head. This is about something bigger, promise.

Generally, I try and avoid stretching my brain capacity across things that I have very little interest in but I am finding myself more and more overwhelmed with the vast amount of things I can’t get my head around. It’s days like this where I feel like an ‘older’ person that refuses to keep up with technology – this is not entirely true. I have a smart phone! I have social media, a kindle and I even have a Fitbit! I am kept up enough… But the other day over lunch with a friend Bobby, he told us about his recent Pokemon Go hunting successes – my face was one of confusion and a little judgment that an adult was spending his time chasing imaginary characters (I note there could have been a little bit of envy that he had the time to hunt). But his response was perfect. He fiercely announced that this is his generation.

This comment caused me to pause.

Generations? A distinction between them when our ages are so close? Hmmm…

He was absolutely, positively correct. This is his generation.

I had a tamagotchi, slap bands and tazos… All of which have no real application to life but I kind of loved them and enjoyed them.

All generations get to experience something that doesn’t strictly apply to life’s moving forward mechanisms and that are solely for the purpose of having fun – and that’s okay – better than okay – that’s exactly what life should be all about! About not taking it all too seriously.

I realised something bigger – my generation straddles an important line that has been drawn – Life pre Internet and life that could never exist without it.

Every generation has something important that speaks of the circumstances of the time. The birth of the Internet is mine…

I will always cherish a time of play without the use of digital technology but I accept and understand that the new, younger generation has been born into a time with these fancy ways of play and entertainment and to an extent it includes me. This realisation causes me to breath a little. So whilst this is not strictly my generation, I will take in what I feel like and push aside the rest because the other great part of life is the power of choice and that is a powerful tool to hold in my belt…

The glass surrounding me quickly fogs. The steam rising works as a further layer of cleansing as I stand in peace beneath the encasing wall of water, allowing it to flow unobstructed, seeping through to wash the day away.

I am a working mother.

I am not here to tell you I am busier than other women – I’m not.

I am not here to tell you my life is more challenging in time, patience and practice – It isn’t.

I am not here to tell you that my life is more rewarding…

I am not here to tell you that I envy others freedom …

I am not here to excuse my life’s failings or to spruke my triumphs or to tell you I talk myself out of guilt daily…

…Because right now I am enclosed in my space. My shower…something so simple yet so effective. It is not an elaborate yoga studio or a patio at a Balinese villa. It isn’t the top of a mountain where I find solace as my daily ritual to maintain my Zen and life’s balance.

But it is my space to breathe and it is my space to bathe out the worries.

It is a place that has no room for a ringing phone or a knocking front door.

It is a space that has no room for negative thoughts, energies or personalities to penetrate – the space is too confined to allow it to be crowded with the unnecessary…

It is my space where for a few moments in each day, I have the time and space to pause ~ to collect my bearings – calibrate and realign my souls desires and move on again in life with a clean pair of my big girl pants to conquer the world.

Winter mornings are crisp as the windows line with frost and the days are filled with long stretches of rain. Any sunshine appearing is like a promise from the universe that the warmth has not forgotten us.

This dear friend’s is our Melbourne winter.

Mother nature is incredible and whilst the warmer months are conducive to the surrender to nature in allowing myself to be swept up in its beauty and glory, rewarding us with bursts of energy, I remind myself that winter deserves a respect in the very minimum for balance. If we didn’t have these long enduring winters we would not have the fantastic summers!

I had previously written about summer and the way in which our lives respond and adapt. Given I don’t play favourites (I say as I am rugged up in winter socks, a blanket and the heater full ball recreating a tropical summer) I take a (reaaaalllly) long moment to reminisce why I love winter…and here goes:

– The rain pelting against the window during the evening is like a melody and even more so when it’s the lullaby lulling you to sleep.

– Summoning up your 7 year old self and splashing in puddles!

– Hot jam donuts!!!

– Toasting yourself with five blankets and the heater so hot you need to wear a tee shirt!

– Winter soups and comfort food!

– Watching t.v series marathons and movies – and not feeling guilty about it!

– Wearing thirty layers of clothing and feeling snug.

– Getting to snuggle into beautiful woolen scarves.

– The colours of rainbows after a storm.

– Hot chocolates! Any hot drinks… time to experiment!

– The snow and all the fun that comes with it!!!

– Roasting Marshmallows

– Ice skating!

– Warm, fluffy socks

– Wearing awesome boots and jackets!

– Long hugs and holding hands!

– The smell of fresh air!

– The smell of rain approaching…

– Watching the Tour de France…

– Playing Board Games!

– Hibernating and catching up on sleep!

– Tea!!!

– The genuine feeling of absolute relaxation because it’s waaaaay too cold to do anything else.

Everything in balance… and while I cannot honestly say I’m not longing for the warmer months that are summer… but when we return there I will no doubt be wishing for the cooler months to grace us again, but in the meantime, I am embracing all of the beauty and simple happiness that comes from the basic things in life…

Grab a blanket, a cup of tea with the magic of honey, lemon and ginger to fight off those nasty colds and snuggle up to catch up on some much needed rest and relaxation… because in the wisdom of a dear friend… the bears have it right with hibernation… and we will need all the energy stored when the warmer months return again…

I’m dreaming of wide open spaces filled with ocean and endless sky…
Of music humming to the rhythm of nature and to the beat of my soul…
Of laughter and happiness that vibrates across the earths skin and deep within its veins….

I’m dreaming of the wind sweeping through my hair, messy as evidence of adventures…of life and of soul…

I’m dreaming of my skin sunkissed and warm… darkened with the gulps of Vit D…

It was him. It was unmistakably him. Even from a distance, his eyes are the very first feature that captures my soul and my breath. Suddenly the barely stitched together fabrics are suffocating my body. The heat is rising to my face and I catch myself at the moment just before the tears reach the surface and spew out a volcano eruption of emotion.
‘Its him’ I breathe out after what feels to be a lifetime. In that moment I felt the lifetime of seasons changing and missing him flood back into my heart like a tsunami.
‘Your groom?’ Responds the panicked dress maker. ‘Where?’ The urgency in her tone is doing nothing to assist my suddenly alarming levels of anxiety.
I cannot respond. I cannot move nor breathe. He is standing in the doorway to the fitting room area. His broad shoulders like the silhouette of a super hero. His full lips still ridiculously desirable, the bottom lip slightly dropped open. His strong, sun kissed arms are holding a box package. My eyes cannot help but wonder over him entirely. His eyes are searching my body suddenly with a sight of slight alarm.
‘Jessie?’ His voice… even as he said my name… his voice was the fabric of silk…