“I keep a lighter in my back pocket all the time. I’m not a smoker, I just really like certain songs.” -Demetri Martin

Hola blogworld, time for some ramblings.

The Friendly Smoker.

Have you ever met this person? They instantly make friends with anyone and everyone. They tell a lot of jokes in situations where people are stuck together in public. My favorite place to find the friendly smoker in line at the game; he’s the guy with the slightly funny, but not memorable wisecrack about food prices. The FS also manages to cross the street whenever you do, where he practices his best material about the length of the stoplight and how much older everyone will be when it finally changes. The FS is not out to make long term friends, he is geared to have friendships that last approximately the length of time it takes for a smoke break. He is also a master of the 30 second conversation, the length of time it takes to bum a smoke and mention the need to quit. It should be noted that the FS can be identified by the hacking cough that accompanies their own jokes. It should also be noted that all FS are self-laughers (someone who laughs at their own jokes regardless of the response of others), but not every self-laugher is a friendly smoker.

Kid A.

I finally get Radiohead. I’m not sure how, or why it happened, but I’ve been listening to them almost every night before I go to bed lately. I think it has something to do with unpacking my record player. My music snobbery was given a shot in the arm at the first vinyl crackle, and I was immediately drawn to a band that I have publicly denounced on several occasions. Go figure.

Food Service.

Can we commit to not being jerks to food service employees? I understand that these jobs may not carry with them the prestige of sitting behind a desk, but they are a vital part of our culture. On more than one occasion in the past week, I’ve witnessed customers being outright rude to helpless, underpaid fast food employees. When they look at me for agreement I am sure to shake my head in disapproval of their rudeness. I’m also sure to compliment the employees immediately, and say my thank you in a clear, calming voice. Seriously? You’re going to yell at a high schooler when you came into subway with 9 different sandwich orders?

French Food.

Is overrated. Enough said.

The Way It Used To Be.

Is not all that it is cracked up to be. If you went back to the way things were, then you still have to deal with all of the things you just went through again. How about instead of dreaming about the past you do what you can to make the future different?

Hoodie Weather.

I’ve always been a summer/spring, shorts/tshirt person, but this year I’m excited for hoodie weather. We don’t really have seasons out here, but it is starting to get less warm, which means it is time for the warmth and comfort of m new favorite article of clothing.

Equation.

The length of the stoplight is directly proportional to your need to get home to go to the bathroom.

Favre.

Brett Favre is hard to hate, unless you live in Wisconsin, in which you have every right to hate Brett Favre. (In proper Madden verse.)

Suggestions.

Any suggestions or recommendations for my next book to read? Anyone care to explain the difference between a recommendation and a suggestion?