On Reasoning and Finding Reason

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

So tonight I had dinner with a friend. She just lost her sister a few weeks ago, and I didn't know the reasons behind it.

I'm a person who has to know facts so I can reason why things happen. I like to reason, and then say to myself, "Well that can't happen to me because . . . blah, blah, blah!" It makes me feel safe to reason away the bad things.

When my younger sister died a few years ago at the age of 46, we were not sure of the cause. She was severely handicapped from birth, and I reasoned (as I'm sure my parents did as well) that she had a shorter life expectancy due to her limitations. She was sedentary, never having been able to walk. Through my grief, I reasoned, "I'm not sedentary and I don't life my life in a wheelchair. I should be o.k."

When my brother died, it was colon cancer. It was tragic, and it was awful. Upon his diagnosis, I immediately arranged a colonoscopy. I spent the next eight months watching it destroy and eventually take his life, taking a piece of me with him. I reasoned . . . "You had a colonoscopy, you're o.k."

My friend shared with me that her sister was morbidly obese, something I never knew. She was not mobile, and for the last few years she was battling infections in her legs. She had a wonderful caring husband who, along with other caregivers, took care of her. He awoke one morning and went about his day, going in to give her medication and found that she had passed away.

Very sad, and yet this is one that I cannot completely reason away for myself. It's not my situation today, but sadly, it's not out of the realm of possibility for the girl who diets and then gains back more than is lost time and time again.

This is precisely the reason that I cannot give up. I cannot become that person . . . and yet I could become that person. It's a fragile existence. It's a great reminder as to why this journey is so important.

Reasoning . . . It could have just as easily been you. If you slip, look where you could be!

Reasoning . . . You have lost over 45 pounds in 10 months, and more importantly, you have kept it off! You are doing great.

I am a person who reasons for a reason. I believe you have to move forward with a very close eye on where you've been, and how much worse it could be. It's like the old saying goes . . . Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.

I'm sorry for the loss of your sister and brother.Thank you for sharing. This was a great reminder that no matter how hard any particular day feels, it's so important to keep fighting and never give up.

It's bad enough what we actually do to ourselves purposefully or through neglecting to love ourselves. But it's terrifying what we COULD do. These moments, these epiphanies, are moments to be grateful for and to have gratitude toward the people who helped create them for you. So thanks to you for this blog.