Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...

Thursday, May 12, 2016

Grease In The Pipes

The rumored announcement of Longmire's last season has probably gone over with many of you like finding a live June bug in your latte...at the bottom...after you drank most of it. I know I'm pretty sad about it. I hope it isn't true and is just sensational scuttlebutt. Oh, well.I'm going to have to read the books in Walt's voice. Gah. Television continues to disappoint me. Bastards.And then...one of my friends alerted me to this...

Whew. I feel much better now. So, watch it so it can continue and so I can retain my happiness.

Yep. This is me in case you didn't know it.

Speaking of bending over... here is some great health information you should all be aware of apparently. I learned that lube is toxic and you should really research what you stick up in your spaces. Just some advice in case any of you were wondering about that. No, I did not have an infection, nor did I put lube up in my spaces. It was on Chelsea with Gweneth Paltrow. So I had to do some more digging to find out if this was in fact, true, or if it was one of Gweneth's (yes, we are on a first name basis) health kicks she gets on since she is a natural girl. It is indeed true.IF YOU PUT THAT SHIT UP YOUR ASS.So apparently, vaginas can take more pounding or lube or something. I don't know.This is quoted from an old study that has been hidden from me. Why? Because I have not been paying attention, just like I missed the bad news about Longmire until now.

'A recent study in the US found that 4 out of 6 of the tested water-based lubes were toxic to rectal cells and tissues.

“People who are using water-based lubricants during anal sex were three times more likely to contract rectal sexually transmitted infections than those who had anal sex without lubricant, found UCLA researchers in a laboratory study.” This was one of the presentations at the International Microbicide Conference held the end of May 2010.'Out of curiosity, I just want to know who decides to research lube in those cavities and what made them go that direction. Maybe I really don't want to know. Maybe it is a question but we don't want any answers. It might be best to remain in ignorance. Are there government grants to study butt sex?

Furthermore, those non-water based substances are even more dangerous. I am sure that is attributed to the alcohol content. So stop putting it in your ass. I don't even want to know. But if you must, get some safe stuff.Contradictory to that information, unless your junk is bursting into flames, then you are probably OK. Junk is not effected if the lube is on the outside. Don't get it in the pee hole. If it is the inner workings of the booty that are inflamed, then perhaps you should have known that it is an exit only orifice. At least, I believe that is what it was intended for but humans get to experimenting and shit. And who wants poo on their junk or a dick in that hole? A lot of people, apparently. I don't ask and people don't wear it on a t-shirt, so I can only assume this is a wide-spread problem. I know you all took my favorite saying, "Fuck me in the ass", literally. You are probably saying in your head..."Well, aren't you the one who says..?" I can't explain that.

Additionally, parabens (including Methylparabens and Propylparabens--I mean, seriously, the spelling atrocity should scare you away from that in the first place. Who wants meth and props in your vagina? ) are in those products. Those things are connected to bad things also. They have been linked to breast cancer. So you know, you can now get breast cancer from butt sex. No kidding. That's what that means. Connect the dots. I don't know about you, but no man with junk that can reach all the way to my boobs during butt sex is getting near me. True story. The other ways to contract breast cancer might be by rubbing it on your boobs...the lube and the junk. But why? Each to his or her own I guess. So how many bets on the fact that everyone reads this and goes "oh hell no" and I get no comments. I bet you all have been wondering these same things but couldn't say it out loud. Aren't you glad my filter is gone and I have naughty fingers. You know no matter what I type, it all sounds bad.

In the name of lube, we should all rethink our sexual strategies. Be careful out there. I hear it might be slippery.

6 comments:

Momma Fargo:ROFL...oh, to be a brain cell in your fertile mind...(some days)...!That's why I like you so damn much...you bring the best from out in left field for us to enjoy.(lubes...thought was meant for my CAR when I get the oil changed...heh)ICE and TEFLON are slippery, too, but when it comes to certain orifices...well...(not gonna go there).

Catch Me On Law Enforcement Today

My Educational Side

I'm On Policeone.com

Catch Me On Uniform Stories

About Me

Disclaimer

The opinions on this forum are my own and do not represent any law enforcement department , company, or any other establishment.

Follow Fargo on Google +

Got Badge?

Policewoman Follies

I decided to blog about life on the streets as a means to let people enjoy my encounters through a looking glass. Although my profession is often plagued with sorrow and tragedy, it is also full of laughter and pure entertainment.

Seatbelts

Do seatbelts save lives? Yes they do. They also save people from senseless injuries. I see it everyday. Wear them!

My Favorite Movies of All Times

Gran Torino and Forrest Gump will never be bumped off the top list. I don't think you can beat Clint Eastwood these days.

Jake, Police Service Dog, Retired

2000-2010

Copyright

Cruisin' Music

Training the new officers is challenging and fun at the same time. I am training officers that are young enough to be my children...YIKES! They laugh at my humor and the kind of music I play in the car. I like several different kinds of music and it depends on my mood what I listen to. However, when I'm in my patrol car I only listen to rap, hip hop, and R & B. Imagine the 20 something officer's reaction when I throw a little 50 Cent or Bone Thugs into the CD player. LOL. They're like, "You listen to this? You like this? That is so cool!" Yep, I'm cool. When I take someone to jail I ask them what kind of music they like and play what they want to hear. If they are a butthead, I play talk radio.

What Music Is Playing In My Cruiser Now

Ray J...All I Feel

50 Cent...All

Snoop Dogg...Malice in Wonderland

Bone Thugs...All

Pretty Ricky...All

Flo Rida...R.O.O.T.S.

Jay Z

Eminem...All

Top 30 pop songs

Oh yeah...Jailhouse Rock..by the GREAT Elvis!

My Views on Women Cops

We are our own worst enemy...women. Yep, we are less accepting, supporting, and encouraging to our women coworkers than the men. Probably because as a woman, you have to prove yourself worthy of the job...to us first. Woman cops don't like sissy cops...male or female. We don't like what we call holster sniffers either...(woman who want to date or marry a uniform). However, once the women cops think a female is worthy, then the support system is there in full swing. Pretty harsh. It's the truth. There are some of us that will start out being supportive, until something proves to us that you are an idiot. And that doesn't mean we are not ladies. Sometimes, ladies, all we have is our brains...don't be a stupid bimbo.

Why Our Moral Society Has Declined

Anyone who works in law enforcement knows that the reason society has become dysfunctional is because of the deterioration of the family structure. Few sit down to a family meal anymore or communicate with their children. People are too busy or too self involved. This is evident from the poverty stricken to the very rich. It takes a community to raise a child, but family comes first.

Why I Like Madea and Tyler Perry

Madea is one of my heroes because everything she (Tyler Perry) does makes me laugh. Tyler Perry movies have a meaning to each one that reminds us all what is good. He should be commended for his work. And...I love Madea...Hell to the Yeah!

Why Cops Like the Pretty Lights

I am sure many people wonder why cops like to drive fast, eat donuts, and turn on their lights. Shiny things...just kidding. Donuts are just good, nothing to discuss there. The lights are pretty (it's the only spotlight we will get) and driving fast is fun. Pretty simple.

Boogie Man Mascot

Momma Fargo's Short Lessons of Encouragement

Life is wonderful...all you have to do is show up.Your kids only have one childhood.

Life is always measured backwards, but only lived forward.

Don't talk about it, be about it.

Live byTHE GOLDEN RULE. Treat those as you would want to be treated.

Walk the walk, don't just talk the talk.

Support Our Troops

Copyright

This material is exclusive of Momma Fargo and all rights reserved. And, Momma Fargo has a gun, lots of them actually, and can find out where you live if you steal her shit.