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p i r V j
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THE THESUNDAY SUNDAY Y GLOBE WASHINGTON W D 0 MAY 19 1901 6
I THE THEP PENSION Si N OFFICE OFFICEDemoralization OFFICE OFFICEDemoralization OPFIOEDemoralization
Demoralization Drunkenness Vice Viceand Viceand Viceand
and Depravity under Evans EvansTHE EvansTHE EvansTHE
THE CASE OF CAPT F C JONES JONESThe JONESThe JONESThe
The Man Responsible for the Present Condilloi Condilloiof Condilonof
of Affairs Afairs Is Hot Starts but McKlnlejThi McKlnlejThiDiscriminations McKlnleJ McKinlojThoUlacriminatlons The TheDlscrlmlnalons
Discriminations Dlscrlmlnalons Against Real exSoldiers eSoldlers o othe of ofthe ofthe
the War In favor faor of HundredOaj Hen an anthe and andthe andthe
the Descendants Deendants of the Lost Cause CauseWhen CauseWhen CauseWhen
When the Lincoln Lncoln war drums wenbeatlnB wen werobeatng werebeating
beating beatng up P and down Ibo length am ambreadth and andbreadth andbreadth
breadth of this great rod country countr excop excopwhere except exceptwhero exceptwhere
where the drums of Davis were defiantly deHantljanswering defantly defantlyanswerng defiantlyaneverlng
answering answerng the challenge cUlengeaud challengeaud Bud thousand thousandof tbousandsof
of highspirited hlthsplrled youth were rushing t tJoin to tojoin tojoin
Join the standard of their country Coin Coinnilssloner Commlslonor Coinmissioner
missioner mlslonor of Pensions Evans continued contlnuectho contnued contnuedtbo continuedthe
the oven tenor of his hil liI wn wat Irresponslvi Irresponslvito Irrespon9 vo voto
to tho appeal appell and unmoved unmove by thepomj thepomjand tbopOII tbopOIIand the pomp pompand
and circumstance clrcnlstnce of glorious gloriousAmong war warAmong warAmong
Among tho thousands however wh whwore who wboworo whowere
wore thrilled thrled with wih tho long roll rol of th thdrums the thodrums thedrumB <
drums and antIwlmo whose patriotism patriotsm was arousei arouseiby arousell arousellby arouBedby
by their appeal a mere youth named F FC 1 1C FC
C Jones of ofew New NeW York enlisted enlsted as a prl prlvate prlvate private
vate soldier In the Sixtyfourth Regimen RegimenNew RegimentNe IlegitnentNew
New Ne York Volunteer Infantry From Kront rol rolthe
the t day i of t liLa enlstment enlistment to n AI f iirtttl unti until nhn nhnthrough shot shotthrugh shotthrough
I through thrugh the lungs Inngl at Spotsylvanla Court CourHOUIJO CourtI Court11ouo
HOUIJO Hou e May Mayl3th 13th l3thlS 1804 < ho hewss was present prestnt foi foidulyon for forduty fordutyon
I dulyon duty on the march marcbhivoUat bivouac bivouaC the picket picketthe pickette picketthe
the skirmish tle line lne and the battle batte II IIhad Ho Hohall Hohad <
had te passed pafsed through all al the grades of ofnon ofnoncotutnissioneti non noncommissioned noncommissioned
commissioned olllcer and when he fel felin fel fell fellIn
olcer
in front of his men len woro theslrapaof the straps of i icaptain a aI acuptatu
I captain KetumlnR fixed fxed up by tin tinroiiBlinndready the theI
roiiBlinndready letullng army surgeons luneons of tin tinperiod the theperiod theperiod
11 I period the following folowlng July or within ithIn loss losithan lossthan iosititan
than three months from frol tho perforation porforalloiof pertoraton pertoratonof
of his lung hll with a mlnnle bullet bulet he snv snvtho saW saWtbo sawthu
tho thing through to Appomatox AppomatoxMeantime Appomaox AppomaoxIeantmo AppomatoxIeautIine
Meantime Commissioner liyans vaus hai haihis bad badhis hadhis
his Ieantmo sluggish blood warmed up to tin tinfighting the thefghtng thefighting
fighting or war fever point and he too toowent toowent toowent
went fghtng out to do battle batle to save > nvo the Ilepnb IlepnbHe Iepnb IepnbIc Itepublie
He But eighty days were sufficient sufclent t tcool to tocool tocool <
cool Ic Ills patriotism patriotsm and curb his valor valorDuringthe valorDlrlujthe valorDii
Duringthe Dlrlujthe Dii ring the eighty ohthtydays days hesaw ho saw thouxamli thouxamliof thou thouiandsof aDls aDlsof
of rebels but they were In Union Unloiprison UnionprIson UnIonprison
prison camps woro harmless harmlefs and 1111 could oouhuolBhoot coulduot couldnotahoot
uolBhoot uot shoot The 1he Commissioner never had haihis hadhis liedhis
his blood frozen by hearing that terrify terrifying telrly telrlyIng terrifylug
ing Rebel yell yel as the reckless aid a d gal gallant gallant gallent
lant Southerners Soutberers swooped down with wih tin tinbayonet the thebayonet thebayonetorchargedovorbattehbes
bayonet bayonetorchargedovorbattehbes orcharged over batteries bateries breast breastworks breastworks breastworks
works and lines Ile of dead deallln in blue bl ue or lines Hneiof lnes lnesof linesofdead
of ofdead dead te ad in grey who fighting fghtng foil foilBy tel toll13y
By a revolution reoluton of circumstances clrcnlstauces tin tincaptain the thecaptlln thecaptain
captain captlln who fell fel at tho head of hU hi coin coinpany company coinpany
pany In the sanguinary fight fght at Spolsyl SpolsylvanlH Spotsylvania Spotaylvents
vents in Hancocks premier corps corpl be bocame becamo becattle
came a poor clerk cerk In the department o owhich ot otwhich ofwhich
which the eightyday eighty day soldier was a thi thihead the thehead thehead
head The ho eightyday soldier took a nat natural lat latural natural
ural antipathy to the fouryear veteran veteraiof veteranof veteranof
of twenty antplthy battles batles which culminated li litho In Intho
tho thetliecliargo discharge three years ago from tin tinPension the tbePension thePension I
Pension Bureau of Capt F 1 C Jones Jonesond Jonesondnot onesandnot am amnot
not nil al tho kings men could or can go gohim get gethim gotbun
him restored notwithstanding 10twihstanding that In Inwas ho howas howas I
was dropped from the list lst of employee employeeIn omployeesIn
In violation violaton of the law authorizing thi thireduction the tboreucton thereduction I
reduction of the clerical force but ex exeinptlng exemptng oxemptiitg
einptlng emptng reucton honorably honorbly dlschared soldiers soldiersKvans 80hlers 80hlersEvans soldiersEvans
Evans retained retined clerks clerkSmaybe maybe tho son o otho of ofthe ofthe
the very ery man who shot the captain canlalnwhoso calltalnwhoso captainwhose
whoso fathers fought with Stonewall Stonewal o owent or orwert orS
went wert wexttbeatUoiig headlong heaOlolg to t o doalli and glory Ilory will willPlckott wih wihPlckot withPickott
S Plckott Plckot on the th bloody blooy field feld of Gettys Gettysburg Getys Getysburg iettyaburg
burg burgTlmeand burgTlinoand
Tlmeand again againCaptain Captain Jones has been bcoipromised beenpromised beenpromised
promised restoration restrlton only to have thi thipromises the tbepromIses thepromises I
promises broken or absolutely denied del led ai aiBliss as asBlss asBliss
Bliss Blss and Ind Hitchcock did the former re reslorlng restoring restoring
storing the brother of the gallant galant Han Hancock Hancock liencock
cock a Democrat Demorat and although albough not i isoldier a asoldier asoldier
soldier himself hllself deserving enough bj bjreason by byrason byreason
reason rason of the great services sorvlcs of the com commander commandor corninandor
mander of tho second fighting fghtng army artnjcorps arIY arIYcorps armycorps
corps BlUs Blssa1bough Blissalthough although commendably de defending defending dofending
fending this act of his In the publtopress publtopresshad publopress publopresshad pubhiopresshad
had the gall gal when appealed to by Cap Captain Captain Captam
tain tam Jones to tell tel tho veteran the th palp palpable palpable paipable
able He le that he Bliss Ulss had no authority authorityto authorItyto
to restore restre him Hitchcock Iltchcock promised i icommittee a acommite acommittee
commite committee of prominent citizens cItzens ex exveterans exveterans oxvetoraus
veterans with wih distinguished distnguihed mllltar mllltarrecords mitary mitaryrecords military militaryrecords
records that he would give CaptaIn CaptnliJones CaptaInJones CaptainJones I
Jones the first frst vacancy vacncy and when tin tinCaptain the theCaptain theCaptain
Captain knew that one existed oxlstd he wen wento went wentto venlto
to his hotel to have the tie premise JlQmlse fulfilled fulfilledWaiting fnlfled fnlfledWiiUng fulfilledWaiting
Waiting WiiUng an hour In tho lobby while whileHitchcock whie whieHichcck whileHitchoockand
Hitchcock Hichcck Hitchoockand and General GonoralCorbin Corblu dined nnc nncwined and ondwined andwined
wined he approached the Secretary alto altohis afer aferhis allothis
his gluttonous repast and asked the nil nilflllment fnllhlent telflulment
flllment lhlent of his promise prmise Hitchcock Ilchcck in indlgnantlydenl Indlgnantydenl
dlgnantlydenl d that he ever made sue suea such Bncha I
dlgnantydenl t
a promise The committee commlto hearing ol olhis or orbs ofhis
his bs denial wrote him him a sharp letter leter t twhich to towhich towhich <
which ho never replied ropled and nd Captain CaplnliJooes CaptainJoue CaptainJoeti
Jooes is still sti tramping the streets al although although 1 1though ¬
though lie has a wife and family to sup support support supportand ¬
port portand and is more or less handicapped haudlcappedby haudlcappedbytho bj bjtho bythe
tho wound In his hllunJ lung lungAnd lungAnd
And yet et ther there are Republican Iepublcan ex exsoldiers exsoldiers exsoldiers
soldiers the be Captain Captin Is n Republican Republicanwhocrilise Republcnn Republcnnwho Republicanwho
whocrilise who crltse critiso the course curse of the exsoldloiediting exsoldloi exsoldloreditng oxsoldiorediting
editng editing The Globe Gobe In tearing telrlnl the masks masksoff masksof uuiaskaoil
of off the Republican Republcan politicians poltcIans running runningthis rnning rnningthis runningthis
this Imperialistic hnperlalstegovornment irnperialistiogovorninent government President Presidentcabinet Prosldentcabinet Presidentcabinet
cabinet and heads of Departments Department The Thevitriol Theviriol
vitriol viriol is not half strong enough enoujh to tip tippen a apen
5 pen for their benefit beneft They hey havo less lesssympathy lels lelssympathy lesssympathy
sympathy with a real rel genuine uonllne oxsoldlei oxsoldleiwho exsoldlerwho exaoldierwho
who served in the field feld than the Demo Democratic lemo lemocrato Icuiiooratlo ¬
cratic crato administration administraton of Grover Clove Cleveland Oevo Oevoland Cloveland ¬
land exhibited exhIbied for the prejudice In bisadministration his hisadmlnlatraton hisadministration
admlnlatraton administration was principally prnclpaUy confined confinedto confned confnedt
to t himself and did not permeate the Ihewhole thewhole thewhole
whole public pnblo service as It doe doel now nowWill nol nowvIhl
Will WU vIhl the old veterans and their sons sonsnever sonsnever sonsnever
never learn lenr any nTY sense Will W1 they con contlnue contnue continuo
tlnue tnue like lke the unlettered exslaves exsla es to tobo tobe tobe
be the bulwark of these heartless hoartess hypo hypocritical bypocritcal hypocritical
critcal critical gang of tricksters who ho mouth mouthpatriotism 10U mouthpatriotism th thpatriotsm
patriotism patriotsm and confine cnllno their tlelr sympathy sympathyfor
for or Ihe exsoldier to platitudes plattudeH spoken spokenfrom spokenfrom apokeuifrom
from the rear end of railway raiway trains trlls in incampaign Incampailn incanipaign
campaign campailn tlmosT tmes They 1hey may but the thoeditor tboeditor theeditor
editor of this paper has had hlti enough of it itand I Itandintiunatoly
and andlntmatel andintiunatoly intimately knovlng kIOolng the whole outfit outdtfrom oltdt oltdtfrom outfitfrom
from MoKlnley to Evans l vln he proposes proposesskinning proposesskinning proposesskinning
skinning roasting reastng and 1111 exposing their theirhypocrluy theirhypoorlcyanll theirbypocricy
hypocrluy hypoorlcyanll and double dealing dOilug towards towardstbe towlrds towlrdstho towardsthe
the old soldier as a well wol as their organized organizedschemes orgmlzedBcbeme orgunizedschemes
schemes to wreck the Republic RepublicTho Republl RepublicThe
Tho Pension ltnslon Department has been no notorious notrous itotorlous ¬
torious trous for Us is vices and immorality immoralityopenly Inlnoraly Inlnoralyopenly Junnorahityopenly
openly exhibited by certain members mOlllers of ofUs ofIts ofI ofitsinaloandfoinaleeiuployeos
Us itsinaloandfoinaleeiuployeos male and female employees Itcan bo boestablished beestblshe hoestablished
I established estblshe and it I is here deliberately deliberatelyami dellertely dellertelyamI
ami publicly publclycbarlod publlclychargod charged that male Inaleclorksln Inaleclorkslna clerks In Ina Ina
a beastly state of Intoxication Intoxicaton have bav boon boonsent boonsent boonsent
sent to their homes hOles from from the olllco olco and amirelumed andreturned andreturned
returned on the llmo tmo Ilps slips llpn as 1 excused excusedfrom OXOUIIII OXOUIIIIfrom ozouselrote
from rote sickness sicknessThat sicknessfhat sicknessThat
That a blind blnd tiger tger was comluclud comlucludunder conlluctudunder conluictudunder
under tIm very nose of CoinmUslonui CoinmUslonuiEvans CommlMlfner CommlMlfnerBvans CouuuuuuishonurEvans
Evans and that his male clerks illled illledup Ilell Ilellnp tIlledup
up and got drunk while whie on 01 duty dulyAnd dutyAnd dutyAnd
And that white whie whulethe Ihe blind blnd tiger tger was wa dis discovered discover diecovered ¬
covered cover and temporarily tmporariy suppressed suppresed not nota
a single slnlie ono of tho men who ran or pa patronized patronlzell patronizod ¬
tronized III 1 it was discharged dl charuod reduced reducedtransferred reducedtransferre reducedtransferred
transferred transferre or suspended suspendedIt suspendedI
It I la II also a mailer mator of notorious occur occurrence occurrence occurronce ¬
rence that ten par centers have have been beenreported ben benreported beenreported
reported to t the head of of the Department Departmentfor
for plying plylnl their usurious trade during duringbusiness duringbuslno8 duringbusiness
business hours hour to the anuoyanco Innoyanco of In Induslrlous Industrlols induetrious
duslrlous dustrlols clerks who w o are Iro unable to at attend attend attend ¬
tend properly to their assignments aHsIgn11ents be because bocaule becauseottho ¬
cause causeottho of tho truffle trafc the running rnnnlnl back and ands
s
L
forth and the haggling ha llng over the loanln loanlnof loaning loaningof
of the money the banker In one onl cas casbeing clse clsebeln case casebeing
being beln tho son of nn exconfodornte excnfedernte from fronLouisiana frol fromLouisIana
Louisiana Iolslana and Ind who by the way WiY has haibeen ha hasboon
been bon twice promote I amoeba since ho was report reporled reported reported
ed ed by a fellow elow clerk for annoying Innoylnl will willhis wih wihI withhula
his banking business businss the clerks In hi hivicinity hiviciniy hivicinity
I vicinity vicinityHow viciniy viciniy10w vicinityhow
How 10w do tho MoKlnleyHanna McllnleyUanna Repub Republican Hepublcan Itepublicnn ¬
lican lcan exsoldiers who criticise crtc erltichseThe Iso The 1he Globe Olobilike Gobo Gobolke Globelike
like lke this thisI thisTo T TI
I I To proceed Jlroced The Immorality Immorlly of thi the themore thomore
1 more brazen among amolg the crooked dames dameiof damesot damesof
of the Pension Office Ofce reached rOlchod such a pitch pllcliat pitchat pitchat
at one time tme that with their male para paraincurs paramOlrs pam pammoors
incurs mOlrs they would leave the ollice ofce io iotheir for fortbolr fortheir
their prearranged prearralled rendezvous and h hmany In In1any InInauiy
many 1any cases obtain otln temporary leave fo fothat for forthat or orthat
that purpose purposeTho purposeThe
I The respectable and virtuous women womennnd womenal1 womenanti
anti al1 they are of course the largo Ilrle major innfority malorIy majority
ity Iy of the female ellle clerks In the PensioiOffice Pensioi lenslonOfce lensionOftice
Office Ofce wero so scandalized scnndalzod by this open opetdebauchery oponI
I debauchery that numbers n1n nuinbereof bers of Ihem them path pellI pet
I Honed toned their friends and Congressmen ti tibe to toI tobe
I be transferred transfered to some other branch brneh o oI 01 01Ilhe ofthe
I Ilhe the Interior Ilterior Department The Evans Kvanadministration EvansI vans vansI
administration adminitraton Is credited credied with modify modifying 10dlfy 10dlfyling modifylug
I ling lug this particular partcular phase ot demoralize demoralization demoralza demoralzaton demoralizetion ¬
tion ton to some SOlIe extent at least sulllclontl sulclenty sulclentyI sufilciently sufilcientlyto
1 to t permit of virtuous vlrtnonf female clerks con conI continning
1 I tinning tnulng their services without wlbout being sub subjected subt subJected ¬
jected to t witnessing winessing the gross rols and coarse coarseconduct coarsoconduct coarseconduct
conduct of tho small smal disreputable ele element eloI eleinent ¬
ment mentamonl among them But Hit It I was only onlyI onl onlquite onlyquite
I quite recently recenty that tlit the speak lpeak easy fo foIbe for forI
I I the lushing Ilshlng clerks was discovered dlscoverocthrough discoveredthrough discoveredthrough
I through the intoxication Intoxicaton of some of It Itpatrons Is Ispntronl its itspatrons
patrons pntronl who came to work sober ant anthad and andbad andhati
had to be sent home dead drunk drunkThai drunkThat drunkThat
That Evans Bvanf was wal allowed alowod to remain 2 2hours 21 21hours 21hours
hours longer lonler at the head of the office officeafter once onceafer ofliceafter
after afer this discovery shows conclusively concluslvoljwho conclusivelywho conclusivelywho
who It Is that holds him there thoreand and who whoIs whois vh vhIs <
Is indifferent Indiferent alike alke to t the unanimous unanimouisentiment unanlmoul unanlmoulsontment unanimoussentiment
sentiment sontment existing exlstnl lainong 0101g atuiong tho mlllloi mlllloiUnion m110n m110nUnion millionUnion
Union oxvolorans ol the war wlr for his re rein reo reomovll meinoval
in movll inoval oval and to the demoralization delloralzaton exist existIng existIng existing
Ing under nder his regime as a commissioner commissionerAnd commissionerAnd commissionerAnd
And that tlat man follow folow soldiers and citi citizens ell ellzelf dlizeus ¬
zeus zelf Is Isthe the President lreddelt ol tho United UnltetStales Unied UniedStates UnitedStates
States StalesI
I SHARP PRACTICE PRACTICEWhereby PRACTIE PRACTIEWhereby PRACTICEWhereby
Whereby a Dismissed ExVolunteer ExVolunteeOfficer ExVolunteerOfcer ExVolunteerOfficer
Officer Ofcer was Promoted PromotedAppointment PromotedAppointment PromotedAlpointmnent
Appointment Cleric Cerk Lyman of the IheTreasury theTreaury theTreasury
Treasury Treaury Department was dismissed dismissedfiom dismissedfom dismissedtioin
fiom the service as a lieutenant during duringthe durIngthe duringthe
the Civil Cvi War The record The Glpbe Glpbehas Gobe Gobebal Glpbehas
has bal rend with wlh its I own eyes In tho Connec Connecticut Connecticut Conuocticut ¬
ticut official oleial military mltary records recordl Why he hewas heWa heva5
was Wa dismissed and what he did Ild to earn oarrsuch earnsuch
such disgraceful punUhmcnt plnlshment will wi no nonow not notnow notnow
now be gone Into as It is foreign foreljn to lh lhsubject the thesubjeot thesubject <
subject In hand handThere handThere handTherels
There Therels Is an a organization orglnlzatonlu lu Washlnglotknown Washington Wasblngtonknown Washingtonknown
known as the Second Army Corps CorpsSociety CorpsSoelety CorpsSociety
Society of which General Generl Nelson eIson A AMiles Aies AMiles
Miles ies was the honored president until untlrecently untilrecently
recently recentlyTho recenty recentyTho recentlyThe
Tho Generals Genorls other duties dntes made It In Inconvenient Inconvenient inconvenient
convenient for him to attend to the thedetnll thedetnllas detail detailas detailsas
as presiding officer ofcer of the organization organizationand organizaton organizatonaUII organizationant
and ant he so notified notfed the society A clique cllquiin clque clqueIn cliqueIn
in this as In all al ether organizations organlzallousgot organlztons organlztonsI
got together toget er and fixed fxed up matters 1 a ters l lrun to torun torumi <
run tho machine themselves Nollflca Nollflcalions Notfca Notfcatons Notifications
lions tons were sent out to a limited lmied number uuiubeof n1lber n1lberI numberof
of members who met le by appointmer appointmerat
at the Dewey Hotel whore an alleged allegoielection allged allgedI allegedelection
election eleeton for president was held Not t texceed to toecHd toexcccl <
exceed fifteen ffeen members wero prcsen prcsenand present presentand presentand
and the result is announced that appoint appointment appoIntment appointinent ¬
ment clerk Lyman Lyulls la the tle now president presldenof presidentof
of the corps corp The 1he disparity dispariy between the Ihesoldier thosoldIer thesoldier
soldier record ol Miles 1es and Lyman if ifnot Is Isnot isnot
not any an moro glaring 11arlgtblt than the Impu Impudence 1111 impudenco ¬
dence tenceor of the clique clque In placing placlnl in tl the thechair thochair thechair
chair so recently recenty occupied ocelilled by a renownet renownetsoldier renowned renownedsoldier renownedsoldier
soldier the dismissed dismised volunteer officer officerLyman ofcer ofcerI oflicerLyman
Lyman It I Is of otcourse course courlO a supposed lac lacthat fact factthat factthat
that Mr Lytnnn IY1an had his hi army record recordamended recordamended recordamended
amended by Congress Conjress or sonic S0l0 other au authority authority anthority ¬
thority but no 10 amount alounl of white whie west westcan wlsh wlshcan washcan
can cleanse the stain lu the Connecticut Connecticutrecord Connectcnt Connectcntrecrd Connecticutrecord
record recrd of his dismissal 1181Is al A great reat many manygallant manygalant teenygallant
gallant galant soldiers reported through the thestupidity tbostuphlLy thestupidity
stupidity stuphlLy of officers olcers as deserters when wherthe whenthe whenthe
the boys through Ignorance went home homewithout hOle hOlewlhont homewithout
without wlhont tho formality formaly of a muster oui ouiat ont ontat outat
at the close elofe of the war have been very veryproperly voryproperly veryproperly
properly net let right by special acts act of Con Conpress Congress Congresa
press Then Thcl again numbers ni 1 berl of bounty bountyjumpers lounty lountyJUlpers bountyjumpers
jumpers JUlpers and allhers of their Ilk Ik have havialso havoalso havealso
also had army records made lado for Ihoin thel bj bjan by byan byan
an obliging oblging Congress and some ot thesifellows these thesoI thesefeliows
fellows felows have ha vo even mnnngou Isnagen to got ou 01 the thepension thopension thepenBion
pension rolls rols The good nature of congross Con CongresH Congres
gross gres and its Itl Intentions Intentons to t do justice IUflco tc tcdescrying to todeserving todeserving
deserving soldiers have h ve been abused abuse bj bjthis by bythis bythis
this class of of frauds fraudsNow framIsNow fraudsNow
Now In the case of the new President Vrcsldenioi
of the Second Army Corps Corps his record rord so scfur sofar sofar
far as af It I Is printed In bin State records recordsclearly recordsclearly recordsclearly
clearly disqualifies disqualfes him for President 01 01membership or orI orfliomflhiemehip
membership mOI bersblp in an organization orglnlatol of hon honorably honorlbly honorably ¬
orably orlbly discharged dlscharJell soldiers When bow bowand hmvand howand
and by whom wbol whom this record was WIS amended amendedlo alended alendedto
to qualify qualfy him hll him for or association assoollUon with wih and andpresiding andprsldlnl andpresiding
presiding prsldlnl olllcer olcer over honorably honorbly dis discharged discharged diecharged ¬
charged soldiers The Globe Gobe at this writ writIng wrItIng writing
Ing Is not 10t able Iblo to answer Perhaps Mr MrLyman MrLYlan MrLynuan
Lyman LYlan will wl explain to the Second Seond Corps CorpsSociety CorpsSociety CorpsSociety
Society SocietyWHAT SocietyWHAT SocietyWHAT
WHAT THE SUNDAY GLOBE WOULD UK UKTO LKE LKETO LIKE LIKETO
TO KNOW KNOWIf KNOWI KNOWIf
If I Rathbonos real rrl offense 0eno Is not th thretention the theretenlon theretention
retention retenlon of 50000 out of the Ile 7500 7500given 7500 7500given l5OOOgiven
given him by Mark 1III Hanna IanM to can canIndiana carry carryIndLlaf carryIndiana
Indiana IndianaIf IndLlaf IndLlafI IndianaIf
If I the buxom widow with the cfferves cffervescent eferves efervescent efforvesCent
cent daughter who changed her rest restdeuce res realdeuce
deuce dClco from New Jersey Jerey to New Hampshire Hamp Hampshire Hempshire ¬
shire avenue will w1 wear purple waists waistnnd waistsnnd waistsand
nnd neckties necktes to harmonize In color will willher wih wihllr withItem
her distinguished friend and
llr dlstngulahed protector prolcclortIf protectorfI protectorIt
If I the census young lady used to peep peepthrough peepthrough peepthrough
through the cracks crcks Into her neighbors neighborsloom neighborsloom neighborstooni
loom and nntllf If the will wi ever write a book bookon bookon bookon
on what she he saw sawIf sawI sawIt
If I It the colored bicyclist blcyclBL who tried to run rundown rn rndown rundown
down a coal wanonon walon wagon on llth 1th street and andthe nndthe andtime
the avenue venu in frgut frup of tho thf GJpbo office officeFriday IIce IIceridlY officePriday
Friday ridlY last tla t found r unll the Job as easy elY as his hlafellow hisleHow hil hiltallow
fellow who ran down and killed kied a two twohundred twohUDlre1 twohundred
hundred hUDlre1 pound worn wor in inIf lnf lnfI tnlII
If I the critics critcs of tho Sunday Globe will willgive wi willgive
give us a chance to get acquainted Icqualntcd with withour withour withour
our field of operations operatons before growling growlingthemselves growlng growlngthemselves growlingthemselves
themselves to deathIf death dcatMIf deathIf
If Colonel Christy had another chance chancelo
to change the District Dstrict form of Govern Government Gover Governmont ¬
ment would woull ho favor a det depolsm despotism polls m tem lempercd tempered ternpored
pored by assassination assassinationIf assasslnlton f fIf
If all al the boarding bOrdlng houso hotels of ofWashington ofWushlngton ofWashington
Washington have dance dace halls bals for the theamusement theamusement theamusement
amusement of Government mile and fe female fomile tomale ¬
male mile clerks clurkatIf clerksIf f fI
If I the detective deteclvo force could run down a alame alame alame
lame elephant on a dark dlrk night nightIt t tIf fI
If I Ford ord of the War Department Dcpiltment will willauo w1 wiilsue
sue The Sunday SUlllY Globe Gobu for libel Ib l for or call calling cB cBIng calling ¬
ing him an Englishman gnglsblan when he might mighthave mighthave
have hae been a Turk or a Rooslan RooslanIf RoeslanI
If I there are any more individuals Indlvlual with withonehundreddollar withonehundreddolar withonehmundreddoilar
onehundreddollar onehundreddolar bills bis to pay for write writeups wrlteups writeups
ups with coif coJrlng coJrlngI Coirring CoirringIf ring ringIf
If I the colored lovers of white madams madamsIn
In the Division Dvision arc under the ho protection protectionof protecton protectonof
of the police polee and how much rake off offIs 0 0Is offis
Is enforced for the miscegenation miscegenationIf mlsce enaLon enaLonI
If I Ihocountyjall tbo county jalis la properlY properiy ventilated ventilatedaa ventated ventatedas
as our breathing br ailng apparatus appnrtusls la out outof of repair
MR JOHN F COYLE COYLEWashingtons COYLEWashingtons COYLEWashingtons
Washingtons Veteran and Accom Accomplished Accomplshed Accompushed
pushed plshed Writer Wrter and Literaturlst LiteraturlstCOMMENDS Lleraturlst LleraturlstCOMMENDS LiteraturistCOMMENDSTHE
COMMENDS COMMENDSTHE THE GLOBE GLOBEInteresting GLBE GLBEInleretng GiOBEInteresting
Interesting Inleretng Talk on a Variety ValelJ of Subjects wit witD wih wiho with withOthis
D Othis this LlterarOotog9nerlanBorn LlerarJ Llterarj Octogenarian Born Uornwhere here the Pos PosOffice Post PostOfce PostOfflue
Office Ofce How StandsHls Reminiscences an anRecollections and andRecolectons andRecollections
Recollections Recolectons of Long Ago AgoThad Thad Stevens SteiensGenerosity StmnsGeneroslJ StevensGenerosity
GeneroslJ Generosity and the ThurmanEdmonds Battles BattlesMr Battos BattosMr BattlesMr
Mr John Joll F Coyle of this city ciy Is on onof one oneof oneof
of the oldest of the veteran vetern newspaper uewspnpemen newspapermen uevspapermen
men of the country Mr Coyle has ha i inational a anotonal anational
national notonal reptuatlun reptuaton In the profession professloiand IJrfesslon IJrfesslonand professionand
and his articles artcles have been reproduce reproduceoftener reprouced reproducedmftener
I oftener ofener and given wider publicity publcty thai thaiany thln thlnany thanany
any specialist specIalst or feature writer wrier on th thpress the thepress thepress
press pressMr pressMr
pressr
Mr r Coyle Coyle was wn born bor in tula thi city cIy eighty elghtjyears eightyyears eightyyears
years ago Four score years year on hi hinext his hisnext hisnext
next birthday and still stl one oleol of the ablest ablesiwriters ablet abletwriers ablestsriters
writers wriers on the press of this tI18 city ciy or any aujother anyother anyother
other city Let us bear no more of the thrmiddle themiddle themiddle
middle aged men who complain o obeing of ofbeing ofbeing
being shelved for younger and more moractl moreIctvejourlalsts moreactlvejournallsts
Ictvejourlalsts actlvejournallsts actl ve journalists trained trined in the mod modern mo modefli
ern er school of manufacturing manlfacllng a news newspaper newsIper newslaPer ¬
paper Mr lr Coyle was an able news newspaper newspaper newspaler
paper writer wrier and editor elior before the mid middie middlo midtile
die aged men who apostrophise apostrophle th thtimes the tbeUmes thetimes <
times as being out of joint were born bornand bornnnd bornand
and he still st1 swings a vigorous pen and andis anllIs andis
is a valued nlled contributor to the Post In luthe Inthe Inthe
the pages of which his remluescences remluescencesand
and wonderful pen pictures of men and andevents andevents amidevents
events of more than half hal century ago agoare ngonre agoare
are eagerly looked for and read not notonly notonly
I Ionly
only by b the older residents reident but blt by bythe bythe bythe
the students of all ni nh ages who are ambi ambitious nmbltols amblthetis ¬
tious to acquire a knowledge of the thecharacteristics thecharacteristics
tols 1 1cburacterstcs
characteristics cburacterstcs achievements ncblevelenis and pub pubHo pubho
Ho 10 lves lives of the historic personages peronlges who whohave whohave i
have IIe made Washington the scene of oftheir ottheir
their labors laborsMr Inbor laborsMr I
Mr Cole was born where the Post PostOfllce Post01ce Post0111cc
Ofllce 01ce Is now located and on the corner cornetwhere cornerwher cornerwhere
where wher the Star building buldlng rears renr itsbeautl itsbeautlfill Isbeaut its beauti beautiful
ful and spotless 8pote s front stood an old yel yellow yellow el ellow ¬
low frame frme which he still stl lovingly 10lg1y re recalls mecalls
calls cls as the scene Icene of his boyish frolics frolicsIt frolcs frolcsHis frolicsIt
It His is more especially e peelaly Impressed on Oi his hisremembrance hisremembrnce lilaremembrance
remembrance remembrnce ns C the clerk In that yel yellow yellow yeilow ¬
low house was generous with wih liquorice liquoricesticks lquorice lquoricestcks liquoricesticks
sticks stcks and toothsome tothrmo candles canlles which whichboys whichbos whichboys
boys bos In every age Ige and clime clme never can cauget canget canget
get too much of inside their th lr waste wastebauds wastebonds wastebands
bonds baudsThat bondsrhlt bandsThat
That clerk cerk sir said Mr Coyle In IBa Ina ina
a friendly frendly chat with wih the editor in his histnuctum hisHrln hissanctum
sanctum Hrln one day dlY the past week went wenlwest wentwest wentwest
west became governor govormiorotlowannd of Iowa and re returned retured roturned ¬
turned tured from that State R3 United UnltellSenn UnltellSenntor Sena Senator Senator
tor I 1 met him him here of course and he hewas heWC lievas
ane
was WC vas still stl the same genial g nerous and andfrank Ind Indfrank andfrank
frank character characer we boys know so 1 well wellwhen wel wehiwhen
when we filled fled our ou pockets with the thecaudles thecaneles thecandies
candies caneles end Indlquorlce liquorice sticks stcks he reward rewarded rewnrded rewarded ¬
ed us with for being good goo Senator BenatoiKlrkwood Senatorllrltwood euiator euiatorlcirkwood
Klrkwood llrltwood the gentleman genteman In II question questionachieved rlueston rluestonnchlcel questionachieved
achieved a uaiuunl nalln11 reputation reputaton and anl il ilyou it ityoureunernber
you youreunernber ou remember rmember he was I a I member of Mr MrLincolns MrLincolns MrLincolns
Lincolns LincolnsIii cabinet cabinetIn cnblnetIn
In reply to an observation observaton of the edl edltor edltor cdltot
tor 011 the influence Inflence of the National NationalIntelligencer Natonnl NatonnlInte1gencer NutiouiniIntehiigencer
Intelligencer Inte1gencer on the stair staffot ot which Mr MrCoyle MrCoyle MrCoyle
Coyle held n I prominent and aUi conlldeu conlldeutlnl conlhlental confimlenthaI
anecdote anecdoteHenry nnecdoteuHeuyCJay anecdotellenryClay thaI tal position IJolton he related the following followinganecdote folowing folowingnnecdote followinganecdote
uHeuyCJay Henry llenryClay Clay was I a very positive posJe and anddetermined anlldetermined anddetermined
determined character churcter as C we on the In Intelligeucer Intelgencer Intelligencer
telligeucer telgencer had reason to know on one onememorable onememorble onememorable
memorable memorble occasion Previous Prvlols to the theconvention theconventon theconvention
convention conventon which was WC to nominate nOllnato o oPresidential a aPredental aPresidential
Presidential Predental candidate he being the themost themot themost
most mot couspiclous aspirant for ortbe the honor honorha honorhe honorhe
he penned a letter leter on an Issue then as asImportant ashnprtant asimportant
Important hnprtant to the opposing parties parte as asImperialism aaImperialism
Imperialism Imperialsm is I now In this letter leter he hetook hetok hetook
took tok positive posllvo grounds and 111r Mr Beaton Beatonwho Beatonwho Seatonwho
who received rcelve1 the letter leter by the hands hnnd ol ola of ofa ofa
a messenger mesenger sent him hum by Mr lfr Clay Claycalled Claycled Claycalled
called cled us In a 1 w sf srL > rt of stall conference conferenceMr conferenceMr conferencerr
Mr rr Benton was ofral i that the publi publication publ publication
cation caton of the letter leter would Injure Injurl Mr MrClays MrClays MrClays
Clays chances for the nomination nominaton in infact Infact infact
fact positively posively put him out Olt of the race raceIt meeI raceIt
It I was the best judgment of the staLl ataflthat staLlthat
that Mr r Beaton Sntol as a one of the proprietors proprietorsof prolJretrs prolJretrsof
of the paper pnpr should visit Mr Clay and andendeavor andendeavor andendeavor
endeavor to postpone Us ls publication publicationuntil publcaton publcatonuntl publicationuntil
until untl thearrlval the arrival In Washington Wlshlngton of some someof someof seineof
of the leaders leaderi of the party who were wereClay wereClay wereClay
Clay partisan partsam Accordingly Accrdingly he visited visitedthe visied visiedthe visitedthe
the distinguished distnguished Kentuckian in his hisroom hisrom hisroom
room rom but soon son returned reture discomfited discomfitedexclaiming dlscolled dlscolledexclaiming discoinfitedexclaiming
exclaiming as he entered the ollice olliceday oJce oJceCIUY 0111ccCmay
day Is out of his hlf head Then lhen Mr MrCeatons Mr8eatons Mreatons
Ceatons eatons partner red Irel his hand and re returned returned returned
turned with wih the same result Finally Finaly
I was detailed detalcd on the mission and andentered andentred andentered
entered entred the presence presencooftime of the great states statesman stutesman statesmaui
man with wlb some SOl0 misgivings He was wasstriding wasstriding wasstriding
striding up and down the long corridor corridorof eorrdor eorrdoror
of the house and having make known knownmy knownm knownmy
my m errand nud tho earnest tlrnest request ruest of ofthe ofthe oftime
the Intelligencer IntelKencer that he would post postpone pst pstv postpoie ¬
pone v ne its Is publication for or a few days he heturned beturne lieturned
turned turne on me llrccly Ircely and Ind thundered thunderedNo thunderedI thunderedNo
I No sir and Ild if ifyour your newspaper does doesnot dos dosnot doesnot
not publish publsh It tomorrow I shall shnl send It Itto I Itto
to the other paper paperNoticing paperNotcing paperNoticing
Noticing Notcing that thlt I shrank or seemed seemednervous seemednervous seemednervous
nervous he placed his hand kindly ltndly and andreassuringly andrassuIngly cudreassurIngly
reassuringly rassuIngly on my shoulder and with withInfinite wlb wlbInfnlw vithinfinite
Infnlw Infinite sweetness I thought in con contrast coutrst contrast
trast trst to tbe tone tne toneof of voice he had refused refugedany refusedany
any delay to the publication publcaton of his hisletter hisletter hl hlletter
letter saId aid aidNot aldH
H 4 Not you 01 not you I know IUOW your yourposition yourpositon yourposItion
position positon and alll appreciate apprcllte your our kindly kindlymeant kindlymeant kindlymeant
meant mission rnlwlouThe mls missionThe lon lonhe
The he letter leter was published and created createddismay createddismay createddienmay
dismay in the Clay camp but this thiswas thisWI titlevas
was WI speedily 811 tly turned tured Into surprise surprisein
in some and III confusion in others when whenhis whenhis whenhis
his rival Van Duren Durn came out with wih a asimilar I asimilar
similar simiar letter leter the only elhTerence d1 renca being beingtha bing bingthl1r beingtba
tha thl1r Mr Van Buren took almost a page pageof pageof pageof
of the Intelligencer Intelgencer to t say what Clay Clayput Clayllt Claylut
put llt In two twothlrdsofn thirds of a column Then It Itleaked Itleake Itleaked
leaked leake out that thlt Van Huron had visited visitedClay vlsUedCllY visitedClay
Clay CllY at lt Ashland Ky at Mr Clays Clayshome Cays Cayshome Clayshome
home and there the rivals rivas in a friendly friendlyconference friendlyconference
conference agreed agree to take tke the question questionout queston questonout questionout I
out of the Issues Isues of the campaign campaignWhat campaignWhat I
What Wlat was the issue I sue Mr r Coyle CoyleThe CoylelThe CoyheTime
lThe The annexation nnnexaton of Texas sir and andboth anllboth antiboth
both men dropped It from the Issues Isues of ofthe ofthe ofthe
the campaign canpllgn and before befor the gentle gentleman gente genteman gentleman ¬
man who rose to nominate Mr Clay In Inthe Inthe Inthe
the convention got half way through throughwith throughwih throughwith
with wih his speech speh the delegates took tok the thebit thobit timebit
bit in their teeth and in a I whirl of en enthusiasm enthuslam enthmueiasmn ¬
thusiasm nominated him by acclanm acclanmtloii acciarnatioun
accama accamaton
tloii ton tonHowaro tioun tiounHow
Ho Howaro How ware are the giants giant so called caled of to today today today ¬
day In comparison comparion with the Clays ClaysWebsters ClaysWebfter ClaysVebsters
Websters Webfter etal et al almn merely I rely from the news newsI
paper paper mans mals point pint of view you know knovMr know1r knowMr
Mr 1r Coyle CoyleYes CoyleYes CoyhoYes
Yes I understand underlanl you Well Wellhave Wel Veil I Ihave Ihave
have never been old and fogylsh fogyih an anlook and andlook andlook
look at things thlngf through modern moder eye eyebut eyes oyesbut eyesbut
but the public publc verdict Is always o onearly or ornearly ornearly
nearly always 01 WIYs correct corret in these matters mattenand matter matterand mattersand
and there are no Clays and 101 Websters Webstersnor
nor even Thurmmis or Thad Stevens Stevensto
to spare in tho present race of states statesmen slatesmen statesteen
men Speaking of Mr 11r Stevens he wa watho was wastho wasthe
tho kindliest Idndlest of men under a pretend pretendedly pretendedly pretendedly
edly rough exterior exteror He le had no small sinalprejudices smallprejudices
prejudices and would do a favor for i icopperhead a aoppcrbeul acopperhead
copperhead oppcrbeul as he used to call cal me meequally meeualy meequally
equally eualy as readily rodly as I for one ole of his hi owi owiparty own ownporty ownparty
party I always ulwlYs went to t him 11m him on sue sueoccasions such sucbocoslons suchoccasloims
occasions ocoslons In the line lne of my IY profession professionand prfession prfessionand professionand
and was WI never refused the courtesies curtesies o ofavois or orfavOs orfavors
favors favOs extended to the newspaper ineiof men menof muonof
of his hi own party Like Edmunds ant antThuruiau and amilhurman andThurman
Thuruiau lhurman who would light fght like lke twi twigladiators two twogladiator twogladiators
gladiators gladiator on the Senate floor lor and mee meeby meet meetby meetby
by design to touch the friendly frendly gloss glasafter glossafer glassafter
after afer tho storm strm and heat of the debate debatwas debatewas debatewas
was over old oh Thad never retained Ii Iihis In Inbls inhis
his Intercourie any Iny of tho partisan partsan feel feellugs feelIng feellags
lugs Ing he so radically rdlclly manifested man1cstelln in tin tinSenate the thoBen theSenate
Senate Ben at chamber But you have no noasked not nottked notnaked
asked tked me my opinion of The Sunday SundayGlobe SundayGlobe SundayGlobe
Globe GlobeExpressing GlobeExpreslnK GlobeExpressing
Expressing a hope hop that it gave a aleast at atlent atleast
least lent promise in its two Issues of beIng belujable beIngable beingable
able to create the wont of Its It saluta salutatory salutatory salutatory
tory ho said saidThe saidThe old oldhe
The he Globe Gobe has ba the ring of the true truimetal truemetal truemetal
metal and aUI I predict preict its Js success li liWashington In InW inWaslmingtoim
Washington W hlngton Since the days of DomPIntt Dom DonnPlatt DoiniPiatt
Platt It Is i the best paper of Its Is class cllss I Ihave I Ihave Ihiavoread
have hiavoread read I cannot tell tel you howmucl howmuclpleasure how much muchpleasure mcclipleasure
pleasure I derived derved from Us Is perusal perusalYou perusl perusalYou
You know men of my uge Hud fnd what whalDion whatDon whatBloti
Dion Don Bouclcault called culed the oldtime oldtimeIrish oldbmeIrih oldtimneJrlsb
Irish Irih make lale a melancholy festivity festivityIn fesUvly fesUvlyIn
In retrospection retrospecton and retrospectively rtrospctvely 1 1was I IWI Ivile
was WI vile again reading Plaits Plotf Capital Cuplul In InThe Infhe inrho
The Globe Gobe and was us therefore that thaimany that11uny thatmany
11uny many years younger Yes sir con coneluded concluded coneluded
eluded Mr Coylo I am very much mudpleased muchplcled muchI
I pleased plcled with wih The Sunday Globe and andwish uudwish andwish
wish you ouul all the success In tho world world1and worldand worldand
and the veteran of eighty eight years yeari arose at atsprightly n nsprghty as assprightly
sprightly sprghty as a man of fifty fUy and bade Time TluGlobe TimeGlobe ho hoGobe
Globe Gobe a courtly courty adieu with wih a 1 warm warnhandshake warmbandshako warmhandshake
handshake for the editor edior with wih a 1 promIso prom IlromIso promiso
Iso to call c1 again againThe agail againThe
The Globe Gobo feels fues Mattered latered by Mr MrCoyles MmCoyles fr frCoyles
Coyles commendation cOlmeldaUou knowing ltowlng and andappreciating andappreciatng amidappreciating
appreciating appreciatng Its Is Inestimable value com comlug comIng cornleg
lug from such an authoritative luthortaUve and ex experlenced experienced oxperlenced
perlenced source It I will wi endeavor tc tcretain to toI toretain
retain his good goo opinion by an honest houesland honestand honestand
I and fearless policy polcy of hewing to the theHue theIne timeline
Hue Ine let the chips fall fal failwimcre where they will willA wi willA
I A WOMANS VIEWI VIEW VIEWWhat VIEWWhat
What is Sauce for the Goose Should Shoulibe Shouldbe Shoukf Shoukfbe
I be Sauce for the tie Gander GanderEditor GanderEditor GanderEditor
Editor Sunday Globe GlobeVo Gobc GobcI GlobeVe
I Vo commend the spirit aplrt of The GlobiIn Globe Gobe GobeIn Globein
I In Its desire to dress down the damsel damselof dam3elsInfuenco danmaeisI
I of Influence Infuenco who disgrace the depart departmental dcpartmental departI
I mental service with the hope of for forclug forI
I chug them Into the paths of virtue Al Alselfrespecting All AllI
I I selfrespecting sclresctng women employees of tin tindepartments time thoI timeI
I departments would woull unite unie In inexpressible Inexlrsslblo InexlrsslbloI inexpressiblegratitude
1 gratitude gmtude to the power that would rid th thgovernment the thegoverment thegovernment
I government goverment offices OrCS of that incubus which whlolnot whlehnot whichnot
not only brings aspersions a peJslons upon pOI the1good their theirgood theirgood
good names but endangers eliangers their henlll henllland hCllth hCllthand hmemmithI
I and public publc security securityBut slcurty securityBut
I But mark you Mr Ir Editor this ex expurgation expurgaton cxpurgation ¬
purgation purgaton will wi not ha made Inde for time rea reason reathnt rcaI
I son that the power Is confined confned solely li lione to toone toone
one class which Is us lS corrupt corrpt as the of offenders 01fenders offenders
fenders In question queston j that is in the hand handof hnndsof handsof
of the men menTherefore menTherefore menTherefore
Therefore I would respectfully respectuly sug suggeat 8Uggest auggest
gest that your method of dressing dresslnjdown dresing dresingdown dressingdown
down Is impracticably Imprctcably directed You Yoican Youcan Youcan
can not kill k1 a tree by plucking at Iti Itifruit Its Itsflult itsfuuit
fruit flult The ho surest way Is I to begin at Its Itiroots Itsrots itsroots
roots rots rotsI
I rootsWhile While Whie Clerk Cerk Class Cla8 One War De Departtnenl1 Department Dopartunent
parttnenl1 partment quoted In your lust Sunday SundayIssue SundaysIsse Sundayeissue
Issue Isse took such Infinite Inlnlte pains to ascertain nscurlnlrtho asccrlalntho ascertainthe
tho moral of the female contingent contlngcnof contingentof
of tbe departments it I would appear appealthat appearthat appearp
that he must have strained strined at a gnat gnaiand gnatI
I I and swallowed swnlowed several teverl camels cmels for while whilela whie whieIn whileI
I In his sieve he caught four grass widows wldowiof widowsof widowsof
of doubtful virtue how many men menallied mena1ed menallied
allied a1ed to those In morals morh do we reckon reckotho reckonI
I ho allowed alowed to slip slp through the meshes rneshciunnoted meshesunnoted meshesunnoted
unnoted unnotedThe unnotedThe f fI
I The confession conlc8lon of his personal gulll gulllOB gulL gulLI guiltI
OB amiably set forth In Popes couplet on onvice onvIce onvice
I
vice which he agrees agreesSeen agrecsSecn agreesSeen
Seen too oil of and face to lace faceWo laceWe laceWe
We pity first frst and then embrace embracegive embrce embrcegive embracegive
give the tone of ola a fiasco fusco to his whole ar argument argument amgurnent ¬
gument Apply a little lte logic to his in inferred ¬
I ferred premesls and It Is I evident ovient that he hethinks hethinks hothinks
thinks all al the vices known In the calen calendar calendar eden edendam ¬
dar are to be allowed alowed men mel wholesale by byGovernment byGovernment byGovernment
Government patent patentDid patentDd patentDid
Did Dd Clerk Class Clas One ever fver think I Iwonder I Iwonder Iwonder
wonder of tho double significance sgnilclnce of oftbo oftbolesson otthiclesson the thelesson
lesson In the Instance where the accused accusedwoman mccusedwoman
Iccused Iccusedwoman
woman was brought for Childs con condemnation condemnallonf condamnation ¬
damnation demnallonfWoman damnationI
1 Woman who are these thine accu accusers accusenT accusers ¬
sers senT Let him who Is without guilt guiltthrow guit guitthrow guiltthrow
throw the first Iret Htono1 Htono1And Itono ItonoAnd stone stoneAnd
And the men all ni turned and fled fledHark Ied IedlInr fledMurk
Hark lInr you here here iero the proportion proprtIon oi men mento mento macnto
to one woman signified signifed as guilty gultyl And Andthe Amithe Andthe
the same mathematical matbematcal rule rle haa always alwayaprevailed alwaysprevaied alwaysprevailed
prevailed prevailedWhile prevaied prevaileda
I a While Whie tho women of or the class In Inpoint Inpoint iiipoint
point are known to men by their peculiar peculiarstamp peru1ar peru1arstamp peuhiarstamp
stamp and might therefore bo shunned shunnedtho shunnedtho simummnedtime
tho men mel are quite quie as often olel wolves In Insbccps Insheeps Iiishceps
sbccps clothing and preferably choose choosetheir cboosotheir choosetheir
their victims victms among the most innocent innocentand Innocelt Innoceltand Innocentand
and unsuspecting unsuspectingIt unsuspectIngX
It X Is unnecessary to furlhereuipbaslzo furlhereuipbaslzoIho furtherelphasizo furtherelphasizotbo
the situation sltualon but It Is to be hoped that tha a anew anew anew
new light lght will w1 dawn upon such moral moralteachers morl morlteacbers moralteachers
teachers as tho clerk and others that thatwhile thatwhie thatwhile
while whie they are administering their warn warnings warnIngs warnings ¬
ings to a few disreputable females re retained retalneliin retamed ¬
tamed talneliin In the departmental service spare aparenot sparenot sparenot
not tho scores of men who arc as deep In InHie Intbe intime
time mud mul PonriA IK 1 OFFICE OFFICEPortias OFFICEPortas OrricaPortias
Portias Portas points are well taken Lken ex except except cxcept ¬
cept If itaho abe will 1 allow alow time remark the thewoman thewoman thewoman
woman Invariably Invarably makes the first frt crimi criminal crmi crminal crlininal ¬
nal advance ad van co No man however de depraved deprved dopawed ¬
pawed prved will 1 make Improper advances to towarda towards
wards a virtuous woman There must mustbo musLbo mustbe
bo seine S0l0 encouragement some sign sig signal signal ¬
111 nal or outward outwar manifestation mRnlfestaton ot tho In Inward Inwanl inward ¬
ward Immorality Immorlty before any man will willhave willhave
have courage courge to even lay siege to the thofortress thefortres thefortress
fortress fortres of her honor baior We admit Indeed Indeedwe Indeedwo Indeedwe
we know the superior virtue of the fe female fomalo tomale ¬
male sex In the Government Departments Departmentsaa
aa everywhere everywher else hence It Is our aim to toprotect toprotect toprotect
protect If it possible the virtuous women womenand womenand womenand
and maids against the evil nl of contamina contamination cntamlna cntamlnaton contaminaLion ¬
Lion ton with wih Grass Grs Widow et al alED nl1D iiiED
ED GLOBE GLoBEaa1z2
1D
aa1z2 r L S
LEAD KINDLY LIGHT LIGHTAnd
And Illuminate iuminate the Grey Matter Mater 1 1Professor In InProtessor inProfessor
Professor Langleys Cranium CraniumTHE CraniumTHE CraniumTHE
THE SMITHSONIAN AIRSHIP AIRSHIIsnt AISHIP AISHIPIsnt AIRSHIPlint
Isnt a Circumstance to a Recent Fate1 Fate1Unloaded Fake FakeUnloaded FakeUnloaded
Unloaded on onthe the Great Scientist Scientst of the Smith Smithsonlan Smithsonlan SmIthsonlan
sonlan Institution Instuton as Detailed Delaled In FullbjanAbl FullbjanAblSpace Ful FulibjanAbloSpaco bJ anAblo anAbloSpace
Space Writer Wrier In the Cincinnati CncInnat Enquirer EnquirerIn EnquirerInterestng EnqulrerInteresting In Inlerestlng
lerestlng terestng Talk from an Airship AirhIp Standpoint StandpointProfessor SiandpointJrof StandpoIntlrofessor
Professor Jrof 8r Langley the aIr scientialand scientist scientst scientstund scientistmmd
and Smithsonian Smihson Ion Institution Instuton chle chlefreak chief chieffreak chieffreak
freak has h0 made another EdlsonTlsli EdlsonTlsliannouncement Edlsonlsl1 EdisonTisiaannouncement
announcement to the museum world worldHe word wordle worldHe
He le corralled corraled a very youthful scribe at atapprentice an anIpprntce anappreimtiee
apprentice Ipprntce of veteran vetern Sam tam Johusous Johusousand JohnsonsInd Johnsousand
and Ind filled fled him full fu1 of hot air and mys naysterlous mysterious mysterlous
terlous light until unt a I toy balloon baloon isui isuia Isnt Isnta
a circumstance crcumstlnco to the inflation Infaton in the thereportorlal thereportorlnl thereportorial
reportorial anatomy Smell tmel this escap escaping escaping ¬
ing gas gl from u 1 Cincinnati Clnclnnatt Enquirer re reprint reprnt reprint
print prnt and aUI judge gentle gente reader for your yourself yourself yourself ¬
self of the probable problbe date when an In air ahship airship airship
ship will wl land the professor In Mars Marswhere Marswhere ars arswhere
where these tbe kind of stones are manu manufactured manufactured manufactured ¬
factured and sold by the gross grossProfessor grossProfcssor grossProfessor
Professor Langley of the Smithson Smithsonian SmithsonInn Smithsouinn ¬
Inn Institution Instuton at Washington Wa hlngton D C Cis CIs CIs
is In receipt of ofa a wonderful little lte piece pieceof pieceof pieceof
of what the Inventor has hI termel hrd hrdIUI mad radium madiunm ¬
ium IUI that thlt has h0 sent a thrill of wonder woudeithrough wonderthrough wonderthrough
through every scientist sclentlt In the land landThe Inlulrhe IntelThe
The specimen was wa received encased in ina Ina Ina
a small 8101 box made of oflend lead accompanied accompaniedby
by Instructions Inslructons for the professor to open openit openIt openIt
it in the dark This hls was done A Anumber Anumber
number of the principal olllcers olcers of the theinstitution thelusluton theInstitution
institution lusluton repaired to the photograph photographdark photogrph photogrphdark photographdark
dark room rom and the wonderful sub substance substance ¬
stance no bigger than a silver sl er dollar dollarwas dollr dollrWIS dollarwas
was WIS taken from om Its Is bed be and before those thoseI thosepresent thosepresent
I present could ruallze ralze what had occur occurred occurred occurred ¬
red the room room was wo lit l up as completely completelyas
as l though the full ful rays fs of the sun had hadpenetrated hal hailpenetrated
penetrated IJenetrted the place The le substance substanceomitted substanceomited substanceommmitted
omitted omited a clear cear greenish grenish glow ami nUl the thefeatures thefeature timefeatures
features feature of every everyone one were clearly clearl out outlined ou outhued t tlned
lined lned There was wn a natural natunl hesitancy hesitancyon ho 1lncy 1lncyon
on the part of those present to touch touchtho touchtho touchtime
tho thing but investigation Inveslguton Boon prov proved IJO IJOel proved ¬
ed el that the source Iource of this tl18 wonderful wonderfullight wouderfullght wonderfullight
light lght was U8 cool und solid soldunll and that It Itcoull Iteouid
1 could coull be handled hlled with wih ease easeWhat eale ealeWhat easeVlmnt
What Vlmnt Is this wonderful substance substanceI substanceIt 7 7It
It I Is a I discovery dlfcocry made by a woman womanMme womal womanMimic
Mme Bklowdowska Currle of the mu municipal municipal muttniei1ftl ¬
nicipal school ot physics hi ParU larh and audIf andi andIf
If i what N I claimed caimed for it i be true it Is Istho Isthe istime
the light lght of the future fntuetha futuretime the dream drom ol olalchemist of ofalchcmlstIn ofnleimcniistalti
alchcmlstIn nleimcniistalti alchemist lu short a a lamp that thlt will willburn w1 willburn
burn bur forever consuming neither oil nor noiwick norwick mmorwIck
wick is devoid of heat and requires reuires no ncattention noatenton noattentIon
attention attentionMadame atenton atentonMadtlne attentIonMadame
Madame Madtlne Currie was awarded 1000 4000francs 1000francs
francs and had her name enrolled on onthe ontime
1 the books bolls of the French academy ol of ofI
I 1 science for the discovery which Is re reI megarded
I 1 garded gare as one of the most stupendous stulendousof
1 of the age Ige upsetting upsettng as It does dos all allhitherto al allimhtumerto
hitherto hiherto accepted theories of heat light llghland lght lghtand lightamid
and physical hyslcl energy and ane opens up upfields upfields upfields
fields of knowledge heretofore regarded regardedas rega e1 e1I
I as beyond the scope of man This Thislight Thislight hls hlsI
light lght It itieclaitned U claimed claime will wl not miotonlyhe only be b very verycheap verycheap verycheap
I cheap when flrrt frrt installed InBlnled but after afteithat oCer oCerthat afterthat
that there will wi be absolutely no ex expeuse expense oxpease
pease in maintaining it I even though thouglleft thoughleCt thoughleft
left by Itself Usel for centuries centures Night after afteinight lfer lfernight afternight
night for an indefinite Indefnie period perod it will wllthrow willI
I throw out outits its Is brilliant briiant rays rls and anl at th thend the theend theeud <
end of untold years yeln the illuminatloiwill illuminatloi ihlumnlmmatlomiwill
will wi be OH 1 great aa l nt first Ilrt No under underground undergrounQ undergrounti
ground or overhead overhendwires wires wIrs no nodynam08 nodynam08nor dynamos dynamosnor
nor gas retorts nothing but a little HttUdisk lte ltedlsl littledisk
disk or greeiush stone Place this in inthe In InI
I the wall wal or in J the ceiling celng and rooms roomswill roomswi roomsvIh1
will wi be lighted lghted as long as the home homestands homestands homestammds
stands standsThe standsI stammdsThe
I The origin of light Ig1I us a accepted accepte by bythe byI bythe
the layman lamln Is that It Is merely thedemonstration the thedemonstrton timedemnonetmatloum
I demonstration demonstrton of energy produced by bythe bythe bythe
the destruction destructon combustion combuston or con consumption consumpton commsumptIomm
sumption sumpton of certain substances substmlcei like likecoal lke lkecoal likecoal
coal oil olor or gas Heat Is produced pro uced by bythe
I the destruction destructon of burning buring coal This Thistransformed fblsj
transformed Into limb motion by the steam steamengine steamengine steamengimme
j trmformel moton
engine and Ind the dynamos results lsult in elec electricity elecI dec decI ¬
I tricity trciy for are ar and nd incandescent Inclndescent lights lightsIn lght lightsTim
In short no artificial arUlclal light lght has hI ever everbeen everbn everbeen
been bn made for mans lans use that has ha never neverbeen neverben neverbeen
been ben the remit reult of some material materal that thatwas thatwas thatwas
was consumed In order orler to make It f A Afeeble Afeeble Afeeble
feeble light lght without wihout heat Is obtained obtainedfrom obtainedfroumm
from phosphorescence but even this thisowes thisI thisowes
I owes its Is origin to the slow consumption consumptionof consumpton consumptonof
I of the substance that produces it I To Toproduce ToI
I produce light lght without wibout the expenditure expenditureof
I of some sOIO sort of ct energy has hC been ben looked lookedupon lookediipn
I upon heretofore as a an In Idle dream but butthe butthe buttime
the discovery discvery of the wonderful proper properties prper prpertes properI ¬
I ties tes of the Xray caused causd the scientist scientst to toput toput
put on his thinking thlnllng cap The he Xray Xraydiscovery XrIY XrIYdiscvery Xmaydiscovery
discovery discvery proved that there were more morethan 10ro 10rothan morethan
than one form for1 of radiant rldllnt energy enery al although aithoujb although ¬
though thoujb all a of them have the same qual qualities qualItes qualI ¬
I ities Ites In certain directions diretons direetionsyet yet entirely entirelydifferent entrly
I different dllrent In others Thus while whle the thepowerful thepowerful thepowerful
powerful rays of time gun were unable to topenetrate toI
I pnetmto penetrate a thin piece of cardboard cardbanl the theXray theXrny timeXmaywhichm
Xray Xmaywhichm which could hardly hardiyio In 1 seen leen seenwas seenwasable was wasable wasable
able to t go through thrugh wood and metal metalThis metalfact metalI
I This fact contradicted the universally universallyaccepted unlveJaly unlveJalyIccellted unIversallyaccepted
that the of light lightwas lightwas
accepted Iccellted theory thery power ofght ofghtwo
was wo due In all ni cases c0es to the material Ilterial con consumed cn cnsumed eonsunmed
sumed Experiments along tho Hue Huesoon linesoomm ne nesoon
soon convinced scientific scientfc students that thaturanium thaturnnlum thaturanlunm
uranium possessed pssessd remarkable quail quailties qual quailtiesthat
ties tcsthat tiesthat that It i had tho power of absorbing absorbinglight absorbinglght absorbinglight
I light lght and emitting emittng it afterward Ifterward It I was wasthen wasI wasthen
then discovered dicvered on experimenting expermentng experimentiimgwlthm with withsalts wih wihsals
I salts sals of the metal metl that it i would produce producesubstances producesubstances prodnceI
I substances having properties propertes similar slmlar to tothe toI
I the Xray and that while whie they could couldnot couldnot couldnot
not be seeu by the human eye they yet yethad yethld yethad
had hld the power of fogging a photo photographic photogrphic photographic ¬
graphic grphic plate when brought In contact contactwith contlct contlctwih contactwith
with wih It ItDifferent ItDifernt itDifereumt
Different Difernt Investigators Investgators produced dif different di different ¬
ferent forms of these rays but all 11 failed fulledof fldledof failedof
of producing proucIng anything more than a alaboratory alabortory alaboratory
laboratory labortory experiment There was en energy energy energy ¬
ergy but unaccompanied by luuilnos luuilnosity luminosIy lurnimiosity
ity Iy and all al the experiments expriments were use useless useless useless ¬
less so far as 1 the commercial world was wasconcerned wascoumcemnetl ns nscncerned
concerned cncerned Then hen Mme lme Currle Curre began beganher beganher beganher
her work where the others left off of oft She Shureasoned SberClned Shereasommed
reasoned rClned that the wonderful properties propertiesmanifested propertes propertesmanifested propertiesmanifested
manifested by dflereiit dlerent substances ob obtained obtaIned ohtaluued ¬
tained from frm uranium were not due to toany toany toany
any real power In the metal Itself Iself but butto butto butto
to some substance which held In a astate astte astate
state stte of nonactivity nonactvlty nomm aetivlty Working on this thistjieory thistlery timistmeory
tjieory tlery she t began > egau her work with wih a sub substance substance ¬
stance known as plchblend plehbleld which is isuranlte isurammlte
uranlte urnUe chemically chemicaly considered considere and andwhich andwhloh andwlminhm
which is simply the theretse therefuse refuse from the fame facIrles fametries
tries tIe where wher various vlrlous venous uranium products productsare
are made mlde She first Irst discovered dlcverd a sub ¬
stance similar simiar to bismuth but eevera eeverathousand several severalthousund severalthousand
thousand times tmes more powerful than tln tinuranium tin tho thouranIum timeuranium
uranium salt from which it was wn ob obtained obtalne obtamed
tamed talne The presence prence of this metal It Itcombination In Incombinaton Incombination
combination combinaton with wih uraulum uanium had up t tthis to tothis tothis I
this time been bll subjected to all al sorts o ocondition of ofconditon ofconditions
condition conditon yet still stl another Inother test woe woemade WI wasnmade
made luce with wlb the same lale results resuls thus thuiproving thls thlspJvlng thuspmovimmg
proving pJvlng the stability stbity of the power 01 01the of oftbe ofthe
the new light lght Tho first Irst piece of radium radiumbeing radiumi radiumbeing
i being produced prured Mme Currlo argued arguedthat arguedthat arguedthat
that some accident accdent might have been beenresponsible beenresponsible beenresponsible
responsible for It I Instead of scientific scientificmanipulation scenlfe scenlfemnnlpulaUol scientmlionmnnipulatiomi
manipulation mnnlpulaUol but iuevstigation InevstgaUon proved provedconclusively prove provedconclusively
conclusively cOlclusively that the results resuls were weresound wer werosoundthat
sound soundthat that radium mIlum could be produced producedat
at will wl Tests were then made to show showthe showtho showtime
the exact nature natur of the material materialPieces materal materalPieces materialPieces
Pieces were dropped into gunpowder gunpowderaud gunpowderand gunpowderamid
and while whie a glow spread through the theInflamable theInllllble theitmflanmable
Inflamable Inllllble material materal no explosion exploion took tookplace tok tokplace tookplace
place There was WIS no 10 heat and no lire liremerely lre firemerely
merely merel light lght Everything Every thin was WI tried triedthat triedthnt triedthat
that was WIS at lt all al likely fkely to start combus combustion cmbus cmbuston comnbustion ¬
tion ton but all af fulled fulledTho fulet fulledTime
Time lho only thing that would destroy destroythe destroythe destroythe
the luminosity lumllosltyof of radium rdium was IS boiling boilingwater bolng bolngwater bolhimmgwater
water hi which It I muss be kept for an anhour auhour atmhour
hour On taking iking It from on the water it itresembles I itresembles
resembles green quartz Cunrtzohl quartzcold cold and dead deadOn deaelOn deadOn
On heating heatng It i again however to the thepoint thepoint thepoInt
point of Incandescence Incandescnce It regained Its Itsluminosity itshummmiuosity I
luminosity with the same powers powels as asbefore 1 asbefore
before It I Is then that several pieces piecesof piecesof Piecesofmadiuni i
of ofmadiuni radium rdium were manufactured mnnuflctured and lud sent sentto sentto sentto
to scientists scientsts throughout the world and audtin andtl mmdtints
tin tl tints Is how hol Prof Langley came to re receive recelvo recelvo ¬
celvo the queer rluer little lte thing thllg done up UI In lua Ina ina
a leaden lelden box boxRecently boxHccenty boxReeemmtly
Recently Hccenty lrof Bach of Berlin Berln a anoted anotcd anoted
noted scientist scientst has made tests of the thelight Ihefght timeligimt
light fght with wih n view to establishing establshlul its itsclaims Is Iscl1118 Itsclainme
claims cl1118 to permanency permlnency and was WI unable unableto unnbleto unableto
to discover dhcovel dlscovemammywaste any alY waste of ofumiaterial material what whatever what whatever ¬
ever He gave It I as o his opinion that it itwould Itwoul itwould
would woul require the lapse of 1000000 1000000years 1000 1000000years
yeai years or more to todestroythe destroy destro the luminosity luminosityof IU11nosity IU11nosityof
of a piece of tints radium rdium no 10 bigger than thana
a 1 quarter of nn inch square When It Itcame Itclme Itcame
clme came to t explaining the reason reasol for the thelights theIghts timehiglmts
lights existence however he was wasdumb wasdumb
Ights exitence
dUlb dUlbEven dumbEven dumb dumbEven f I II r
Even as the discovery Ilscoer stands today todayit toay todayIt
I it Is one of the most useful on 01 record recordas
as small slul pieces may be used to Illumi Illuminate Iluml Ilumlnate ihltmruinato ¬
nate dwellings dwelngs public puble building buldlngs und audtheaters undtheaters amidtheaters
theaters with the absolute certainty certaintythat certaintythat certaintythat
that there would result no flame fame from fromtheir fromtheir fromtimeir
their extinguishment extnguishment as o sometimes sometimeshappens sometme sometimeshmappeuit3
happens happelH from roan the use of ofordluary ordinary means meansof meansof meansof
of lighting lghtng aud luII that the expense of ofmaintaining ofmaintaining
I maintaining them would w uhl be absolutely absolutelynothing absolutely10thlng absolutelymmotlming
nothing nothinglu 10thlng mmotlmingIn
I In Its 11 present stage stlge of development developmentthere developmentther developmenttlmere
there ther are many uses for this thi magic sub substance substance stubstance ¬
stance yet without wihout doubt It has h0 been beenleft beenI beenleft
I left to n 1 talented tlented member of the fair faireex fairsex fairsex
sex whose bose work along this line lne exceeds exceedsall exceds excedsal exceedsall
all al others other to benefit benel t the world by one oneof onoof oneof
of the greatest greateft discoveries of the age ageGENTLE ngeGENTE ageENTEE
GENTLE GENTE HINTS HINTSFor HINTSI HINTSFor
I For Insuring Longevity Longeviy in the Big BigCities Dg DgCItes BigCities
Cities CItes
1 Never Nevorsay Bay Die De
2 Never go to a funeral tnerlespeclaHy tnerlespeclaHyyour funeralespecially funeralespeciallyyour especially especiallyyour
your own
3 Live and let live lve
4 Show LIfo Insurance Agents the theOpen theOpen theOpen
Open Door
5 Live harmoniously with your wifes wifesmother wifesmother wifesmother
mother motherO
0 Dont borrow trouble But If you youdo youdo youdo
do return It promptly prompty with interest In rest
7 Hold Hol no argument with wih the janitor janitorof janior janiorof janitorofyour
of Hat
ofyour your fnt
8 Keep the landlord laud lord at It a respectful respectfuldistance lespectfulllstance respectfuldistance
distance llstance Let him understand underlnnd that Ills IllsKoorn Is IsHoom hisRoom
Room is 1 better beler than his Company CompanyD
0 Dont Dort expect a blind blnd man mln to sec a ajoke ajoko ajoke
joke at a Coutlnlous Contllou8 Show
10 When sober beware bewar of 01 tho tlo police polee
11 1 Use chloroform upon parties pre presenting preEentln pretentIng ¬
tentIng Eentln unpaid bills bls
12 Dont go Into the country for pleas pleasurc IJleasure pleascrc
urc The farmers famers cant afford aford It
13 If single heed beec the sign Keep Keepoff Ireepof Ieepofl
off of the Grass GrssWldows GrssWldowsH GmassWldows Widows
11 If I Invited Invied to tojal tojail jail accept the prof proffercd
fered hospitality hospialty with wih alacrity alncrty alncrtyH
15 H Do not discourage dlcourago the dentist dentst who whohas whohas whohas
has pulled pulcd the wrong non tooth toothIU toothIii
10 Apologize quickly to avert possl posslbilltlcs p08I p08Ibites possibullies
bullies bites
17 Dont lose your laundry ticket tcketlf If IfIt ifit
It Is In Chinese Somebody Someboly else might mightcollar mightcolhlr mightcollar I
collar your wash waal
18 Dont expect to much luch courlcayifrom courlcayifroma
a Perfect Lady I
10 If I you you Ihlnk that you are not living lving
fast enough try a double life
20 Dont get gy SI with a cable car cr con conduclor conductor commiluctor
duclor
21 To prevent extortion extorton and waste of oflanguage oflanguago oflanguage
language never hire a cab by the the hour hourBuy hourBuy hourBuy
Buy It outright and let It I back to the thedriver tbedrver thedriver
driver drver when you think you have had your yourmoneys yourmOleys yourmoimoys
moneys mOleys worth
22 Dont waste time tmo trying to t flirt Irt with withCentral withI
I 0 Central She Is apt to bo I Busy Busyand Busyand Bmmsyamid
and may offer ofer to I Call Cal you youutter youLtcr youLateron
utter Ltcr Lateron on onYes onYesMAY yes yesMAY yesMAY
MAY 13 1001 1001Dear IDOlDear 1001Dear
Dear Editor EditorYour EditorYour EditorVoumarticles
Your Voumarticles articles artcles on nepotism nepotsm have blve filled fled a along along along
long felt want Keep it up upI upI upI
I have a friend who is a I victim victm of the thohabit thehabit thehabit
habit habitKindly habitKindly habitKindly
Kindly Investigate InvestgRlo the superintendent superintendentof
of Station Staton G and his two relatives relatves under underhim underhm underhint
him advanced whilst whilstolder whilstolder
hm They are yearly wblst wblstolder
older and more lore meritorious clerks are areturned areturned areturned
turned down Reason lack of funds tOls In Intheir IntheIr intheir
their case
JUSTICE JUSTICEWas JUSTICEWas JuavicamWas
I ISomebody
Was Touched TouchedSomebody TouchedSonmebody
Somebody touched me for my roll rol In Inthere Inthere inthere
there said a son of Ham to his white whitefriend whie whieIrend whitefriend
Irend friend as they both stood holding each eachother eachother eachother
other up near nelr a 1 lamppost a I short distance distancefrom llstance llstancefrom distancefrom
from the Navy Nlvy Yard YardHow YardHow YardHow
How much did yer drop Clem Ocmf said saidhis saidbls saidhale
his companion companionDunno companionDunno compaumlonDunno
Dunno but spool sped it must hab been beensoberal beenscberl beensobemal
soberal scberl dollars dollarsLets dolar dollarsLets
Lets go in inandlmold and hold the dip up d dhtm dhIm dhim
hIm and the white hlo man followed folowCll by bythe bythe bytime
the darkey larkel made for the barroom door doorwhich doorwbhh doorwhmigim
which was just about Ibolt to bo closed for the thenight thenlgM thenight
night nightAs nlgMAs nightAs
As TIme 11e Globe Gobe man turned to cross the thostreet thestreet thestreet
street a 1 sound soulI like Iko a kettledrum kettedrum head headexploding beadeplodlng headexploding
exploding caused him to turn tur and see the thepair thel1alr theiaIr
pair drop drp gracefully grcefuly to a sitting sIttng position positionon posIton posItonon
on the sidewalk Ildownlk white whlo a lusty two twohundredand twobundredand twohummdretlarmd
hundredand fiftypound ffypound rumeeller rumseler stood aloodover stoodover stoodover
over their prostrate prostrto forms with a beer beermallet beermaBet beemmallet
mallet About to approach time two men menwe menwe menwe
we thought discretion discreton the better beter part of ofvalor otalor ol olvalor
valor alor as the Sampson bcorjerker ex exclaimed exclaimed cxclaimed ¬
claimed threateningly You want aomo aomoof I Iof
of this too toot Ho was mistaken and we wefled wofed I Ifled
fled fed
LIGHTS AND SHADES SHADESWhat
What a Sober Pedestrian Pedestran Sees After AfterDark Ater AterDark AfterDark
Dark in Washington WashingtonTHE WashingtonTHE WashingtonTHE
THE COLUMBIA COLMBIA COLUMBIASCENIC SCENIC CARS CARSReckless CARSReckle CARSReckless
Reckless Reckle and Brazen Young Females Out for a aLarkThe aLarkThe aLarkThe
LarkThe Liberties Lbertes of the Softer Sofer Sex Re Responsible ResponsibleThe ResponslbleThe ¬
sponsible sponsibleThe The Bower Bowory ower Shad ShadJ Houses HousesThe HousesTheMalnee HousesTheMatinee The TheMatinee
Matinee Malnee Girls Waiting Waitng for ActorsStreet ActorsStreetScenes AclorsStreetScenes ActorsStreetScenes
Scenes and Incidents IncidentsWith IncidentsWith IncidentsWith
With the liberties Ubertes and latitude lattude alowed alowedyoung aowedyoung alowedyoung
young women in this city the won wonder wonder wonder
der is not no that tha so many go u stray straybut straybut straybut
but that any anyare are saved and kept In the thostraight tbostralht thestraighmt
straight stralht paths of virtue This Ths will wl be become becomo become ¬
come manifest to any observant obserant citizen citizenwhoso ctzen ctzenwbose citizenwhose
whoso business busines or pleasure finds fnds him on ontho onthe onthe
the streets of the Capital City after aler or orfrom ortrom orfrom
from midnight to the wee ama sma hours hoursof hoursoftbe imouraoftho
of oftbe tho moring morning Tho avenue Is not by byany byany byduty
any means the most conspicuous theater theaterof timeaterof
of the larks openly openlyconducted conducted by well welldressed wel welldressed
dressed and apparently npparntl respectableladles respectableladlesand resp clablendles clablendlesand
and their male escorts Last night was wasi wasnot wasnot
not a very good average averge for or this unbecom unbecoming unbecomIng unbecoming ¬
ing conduct and yet the tl thmoGiobe Globo Gobo witnessed witnessedfrom wltncsselltrom witnessedfrom
from midnight to 2 o7 a m more than thanenough thanenough hRn hRnenough
enough exhibitions exhibitons of depravity and reck reckless recklen reckless ¬
less defiance defance of all u1 the proprieties prprietes to fill fillIf fl fillifaarrated
If i ifaarrated narrated several pages pi1gC of the Globe GlobeIn Gobe GobeIn Globelit
In the vicinity of Judiciary Jllclary Park lrk three threeyoung threeyoung threeyoung
young ladles ldles neither of whom had at attained attained attamed ¬
tained her twentieth twenteth year wer boisterously boisterouslywrestling boisterouslyWestlng boisterouslywrestlIng
wrestling Westlng and skylarking skylarltng with their es escorts escorts cicorts ¬
corts All Al were under the Influence Illuenco ol oldrink 01drink ofdrink
drink and the women were apparently apparentlyready apparenty apparentyrondy apparentlyready
ready for any anykind kind of offunu fun the more dev devIllsh devIsh dcvihisln
Illsh Ish you know the better belterSay beUerSay betterSay
Say Mock AI ck let me bin put my hand handhi handIn imand1mm
hi your pocket Jennie she hlo 1mm can cn do doIt doIt doit
It I maudlloKly maullnul1 hiccoughed the young
blonde of oh the party as she endeavored endevored to tokick tokick
kick Itck tile to hat off of Alecks head and would wouldhave wouldhave wouldhave
have fullen Jllon bnt for anolher of 01 the male maleIrlo mnletrio tunIctrio
trio who caught cught her in his arms arm Here Hereflnilf
flnilf dOIt dommt you Vni flllM llc hmic arMAnA suecezG squcceze > n 10 mae MA Lou T m so hard hardhlc lnardhic I Ihie
hie 1ni Im lnitoo too full tl nndllko amllke andlkeabicsponge andlkeabicspongeAnd a hie sponge spongeAud spongeAnd
And then all al six roared In unison while whileHie whiletime
whie whietho
time ladies cut pigeon wings and the men menpatted menpatell menpatted
patted patell hands encouragingly
Oh lets go home fellers telers hlo Im Imgetting Im Imgettng Imgottimig
getting gettng my stomach in 1 me mouth mouthLats mouthLts mouthLets
Lets Lts go in the park Chic hlc and stay stayawhile stnyawble stayawhile
awhile awble answered one of the boozey boozeyyoung boozeyyoung boozeyyotmng
young men you youglris ou girls girl have passkeys pa8slteysno pa8slteysnowork pass keysno keysnowork no nowork
work morning sec secAnd secAnd seeAnd
And holding each other In Greco GrecoRoman GrccoROlan GrecoRoman
Roman ROlan stylo the couples ztg zagged zaggedacross znggellaoross zaggedacross
across the street and ali the Globe Gobe man maaturned mantured mauiturned
turned tured a corner cormiermarveilag marveling mRrvoln g much as a he herecognized herecognized herecognized
recognized one of tho young oung hdles who whoIs whoIs wimois
Is very modest and retiring retring census clerk clerkwhile olerkwhie clerkwhile
while whie two twooftimo of the male nialcescort escort were known knownto
to be government govermont clerks clerksThe clersfhe clerIcsThe
The real devilment devllent If oue wants to tosee tosee tosee
see It JI Is along about Ibout midnight on the theColumbia theColunbll timeColumbia
Columbia Colunbll avenue aVCJue electric electrc cars car which whichrun whichrun whichruin
run to t the Junction Juncton Many of the theladles thelarles timeladies
ladles larles patronizing IJltrnlzlng thin tbl line lne In and andabout III IIIabout amidabout
about the hour mentioned mentoned Imagine Imaginethemselves Imlglne Imlglnethemselves Imnglumotlmemseives
themselves In gay Parice Parcp and act ac accordingly n aecordirigly ¬
cordingly If I the night Is sultry sulry they theyare theyaro timeyare
are not restrained restrlued by any conventional conventionality conventonal conventonalIy conventionality ¬
ity Iy from keeping kepIng themselves the18clvo cool col In a amanner 1 amanlier
manner as 1 startling startng as it I is unprinta unprintable unprlnnble unpriutable ¬
ble Sulllce It to state that
Sufce no lady In Inshort Inshort inshortakirts
short shortakirts skirts on a 1 byclcle byolce ever exhibited exhibitedas exhibied exhibiedas
as much lio hoe e ns IS these hilarious 11lrlous young youngwomen youngwOnen youngisoamen
women wOnen returning returing from an evenings eveningsouting evenlagsoutng eveumhugsouting
outing outng at the Junction Juncton They hide hidetheir hidetl hidethmeir
their tl lr blushes too not with wih their hands handsor handaor handsor
or handkerchiefs hnllkerchlefs but with wih their skirts skirtsaad skirtsad skirtsamid
ad to do so they never descend to the theschool theschool timeschool
school girl mode of putting puting her head headdown hcmldown headdown
down to her lap Just the contrny Is Isde l Lsdo
I de fashion fChlon of ofthe the roysterlng females femalesfull femlies femliesful femalesfull
full ful of Junction JunctonIo Junctiommlee Ice cream and pea peanuts peanuts pe peutile
nuts nutsTo nutsTo utileTo
To walk wl1k home or remain at the theJunction theJuncton tueJuuctiomm
Junction Juncton all alulghtls night imigimLls Is the only onlyalera onlyaleratvs alterna alternatives alteramathe ¬
tives tvs the left the respectable resJetable and Ind modest modestmembers Dodest Dodestmember nmodestmembers
members member of either eiher sex ex If they want to toavoid toavoid
I avoid witnessing wlncfling sceueswhlch scenehlch discount discountthe disount disountthe discoummttime
the obscenities obsceniie of the old Parisian Pariian Jar Jardlu Jar Jartilim
dlu Mobile Inble or the present Follies Fole Her Hergier DergIer 8crgler
gier In that gay city cty The he male es escorts escortaud escortsatmi ¬
corts cortaud cortsatmi and they are not required relulrd to be beacquaintane beIcqunlutnc beacqunimitaume
acquaintane Icqunlutnc s of these damsels daUlelso dawsela1o do not nothave nothave
have to stand up and hold on to straps strapslu stmpsIn stampsin
In the Columbia avenue cars car however howevercrowded howevercrowled howevercrowded
crowded Thycnn T1iy hy can sit on the laps of ofthe ofI ofthe
the ladles or orvlce vice versa ver and nld to prevent preventaccident preventaccident preventaccident
accident hold them In their arms or oraround oraro oraround
around aro nd the necks and the waists where wherever whereever wimerever ¬
ever they can best get the stranglers stranglershold strlngler8 strlngler8hold stranglershoW
hold ned lud such I strangling 8trauglng kicking kickingscreaming kickingEcreamlng kickingecresinimig
screaming squirming sCulrmlng and andBut nndDut mindBut
But we drop the subject and hope hopethat hopothat hopetimat
that the ladles referred to will w11 m future futuredo fu futuredo tur
do the same with wih their timeIrsklrtal timeIrsklrtalDo skirts skirtsDo sllrtl sllrtlDo
Do the parents of the themaUneeglrllud themaUneeglrlludthe matinee girl and andthe andtime
the lovers lover of the more than developed developedbuds developtl developtlbuds developedbuds
buds who Intermix with wih the young youngmisses youngmfses youngmisses
misses mfses know of the disgusting d gu8tng exhibi exhibition exhlblton exhibitioum ¬
tion ton these foolish folb creatures crature make of ofthemselves ofthemselvelfer ofthemselvesmifter
themselves themselvelfer themselvesmifter after the matinee matne la J over overNo overNo overNo
No of course clme not It I Is to abate the thenuisance thenulsallce thenuisance
nuisance nulsallce and It I possible pos lble save he heactors heactor heactors
actors actor from Insanity vhlcn whlcnlove moves The TheGlobe TheGlobe he heGob
Globe Gob to indict the following folowing In front frontof frontof frontoftumo
of oftumo Jtlio the fashionable f1bl01able Lafayette LafBete as l well wel as asthe l astime
the more plebeian plebian National Natonal Theatre Theatregroups Theatregroups hentr
groups of ofyouaggirls young oung girls In their thelrteeus teens and andmore and10re andmore
more 10re mature damsel dalset who ought to tohave tohavo tohave
have some sense of the proprieties prolJretcs re remain re memain ¬
main after afer the performance prforu1ce Is over to see seethe seethe seethe
the actors aetor como out ou t from rain tneir dressing dressingrooms dre8slngrooms dressIngrooms
rooms They crowd the side walks and andadjacent andudjacent amidadjacent
adjacent alleys aleys crushing each other otheraud otherI otimeramid
and scanning their ther necks neks to get a 1 view viewof viewof Iew Iewof
of the stage Romeos UOICS and Juliets Julels who whocome whocOle whoconic
come cOle out Their lhelr gigglings glgglng their theirOhsPaud theirOh theirOhs
OhsPaud Oh Ohs I and their Abs I with wlb more morelutelllgably moreluteUgably moreIuitehilgabiy
lutelllgably luteUgably expressions expres810ls Isnt he just Jrsthandsome jlst jlsthandsome justhandsommme
handsome can be b heard by the object objectof objectof objectof
of their admiration udmlraton OB I they are uttered utteredat uttee utteredat
at him as I It I were wer under Ilier his mustache mustacheThese mustaoheh mustacheThese
These h e young girls glrl are members membrs of the thebest thebet timebeat
best bet ramlllea tam les in the city and many of ofthem ofthem oftimein
them of the most exclusive excusIve and arJato arJatocralloset arlsto arlstocrale arlstocral
cralloset crallosetTheir cral Ic set setfhclr setTheir
crale
Their conduct is forward forsrd and amllnde amllndecent lode indecent lodecent ¬
cent and disgustingly disgustngly familiar famlar and andtheir andtheir amititheir
their unhealthy unhe11hy and ull morbid curiosity curiosityIs curiosiy curiosiyI
Is I condemnable from roam every point pint of ofview ofview ofview
view No modest moett wellbred welbred and re respectable reo reoBpectable respectabie ¬
spectable young girl gir should bo b found foundlu foundIn foundin
In these matinee matnee crowds of giddy giddyaud giddyand giddyand
and addlepated addlepatd creature creaturC who flock 1ock to tothe tothe tothe
the private prv1te exits of the theatres theatr named namedaftertho namedafcrthe namedaftertbo
aftertho afcrthe matinee matnco performance to watch watchand watchand watchamid
and wait wal for the exit of the actors and audknowingly andknowiumgly
knowingly put themselves on public publicexhibition publIcexhmIbiUomm
exhibition to the scorn pity and con contempt contempt
tempt of every respectable man and andwoman andwoman
woman Including the actors them themselves themselves ¬
selves who happen to pass and witness witnesstheir wItnesstimeir
their debasement