Erifia Apoc

No. I'm not Aayla Secura. I'm way too cool for that.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

An Important Message from the Author

Many of you know me through my interruptions in Erifia’s Posts. Some of you know me personally and we have talked. As you have noticed some heavy changes have been happening in the content of this blog, and I feel obligated to explain it to anyone who reads this blog.

First of all, for those of you who read this blog, thank you. Its your comments and the fact that you read this blog that keeps it going. Which brings me into my next point. Recently, I lost the will to write in this blog. It was a three day blank on all things Erifia.

Many of you are saying to yourselves now, “Three days, I go weeks without posting.” Or “Three days, suck it up.” Or, “That happens to everyone kid. You just lost your passion.” The problem with losing my passion… As demonstrated here…

Now over that period of time, I had no ideas I had nothing, and I was thinking of Ending the Erifia Apoc blog. I didn’t want the people who were loyal to keep coming and finding something that I never do on my blog and I stole from Jaba.

I needed something new. Something fresh… I was severly lacking ideas. I said, Well, I can make Erifia fight droids on Genosis. Then I thought, “Real good there, champ. Start Recycling.

“Good Idea there Champ.” So I was running out of ideas. I was on my last bit, and several people have asked, “What happened to Erifia Hating Aayla?” She still does, I promise. Occasionally I will poke fun at her, but how long can you grind one topic into ground before it is dead, right?

So, I was relaxing in my home, and I realized, going to school to be a teacher, I never really did Erifia when she was younger. It was my saving Grace, Padawan Erifia was born. As you noticed that little tri’lek girl has taken over. I am going to start using Padawan Erifia to enhance Erifia, why Erifia is the way she is, in a flashback style set of entries, like the most recent has been.

My original plan was to end this blog and start one in the rebellion era whenever I reached post 200, but I like how this is all working out right now.

If you’ll notice, I finally got my own Blogger Profile, to make posts such as this, and not make cheap short posts then add on my Blogger Dedications at the end of them. But if you look over yonder, Down beneath my blog roll, in my contributors section, you’ll see Leuba Sapphire.

Leuba Sapphire, and I need to thank Dante Typho’s Author and Dante Typho for this one, is one of Erifia’s Aliases. Why would I do that? You ask. Because Whenever I post as Leuba Sapphire, it will be Rebellion Era Erifia, or New Jedi Order Erifia, depending on which you prefer and what Era I am writing it.

So, you ask, What about Darth Inferna? Why don’t you ever post as Darth Inferna? Because I haven’t had to yet. Who knows, the Jedi always walk the line between the light side and the Dark side, soon it will happen again…

That leaves Tatooine and Becca, and you know about them… So, rather than try to expect you to mean what all that Jibberish is, I will make it simple.

Erifia Apoc (Jedi Knight, Republic Spy, Jedi Master) – Era of the Republic [Attack of the Clones, and Revenge of the Sith], Age 21-26

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Femme-Bots and Guns (Conclusion)

Three shots; I had done more with one. But the training range when I was a child, and this open square were two different things. I didn’t have mirrors. I only had three shots left. And I was not going to pick… I got it!

I lifted the GAR Mini-gun with the force, and I moved it slowly towards another building. Once it was there, I set it aimed at the patrol. I got my sniper rifle ready, and I used the force to pull the trigger of the mini-gun.

There was a volley unleashed, and all of the droids who were waiting rushed out, and began to fire at the rooftop the mini-gun was at. I saw the Droid Commander. I noticed he had six subordinates with him.

I aimed at his CPU, and I pulled the trigger, and he dropped to the ground. The two droids with slicers quickly covered him, and I used my remaining two shots to tear into them. And there were four left. My position having been given away, I had no choice but to lay down hidden from their blasters.

I concentrated, and pulled the trigger again of the GAR Mini-gun. It fired and they were confused, and they started firing at it again. I held up my pistol, and I shot at one in his CPU.

He dropped to the ground, and they began to fire at me again. It kind of made me wonder… I pulled the trigger of the mini-gun again, and they started firing at it. I lifted the pistol, and took out another.

Surely, they would not fall for that again. But I tried anyway, repeated the process, and I noticed all the droids were toast. I grabbed my sniper rifle off of the roof, and I dropped down to street level, and I looked outwards for more droid patrols, this was the only one.

I walked over to them, and I grabbed the subordinates’ blasters and I tossed them away. I then went to take the Droid Commander’s Bulldog (An automatic [rapid fire] rocket launcher). And he rose, and held it point blank at me.

“The Ruse seems to have worked,” he said.

“Looks like you got me, what are you going to do with me?”

“Kill You.”

He clicked the bull-dog’s trigger, and I jumped to the side, and the rocket went past me into a store front. I landed with a thud, and I quickly grabbed my pistol and unleashed several shots into his main firing arm. I kicked the bulldog to the ground, and I grabbed it. It had about five shots left, and I fired all five of them at him, and I force ran out of there.

All that I know, was the explosion (even after I had ran some distance) knocked me to the ground. I stood from the ground, I had scraped up my legs, arms, and palms, and probably my cheek some, I hurt all over.

I walked up to the poor clone, I had knocked unconscious, and I handed him his blaster pistol back. The poor guy was so confused her could only speak in mumbles.

“Thanks,” I said, “Maybe next time you could help?”

If you’ll excuse me, I am going to go find Becca and doc her a weeks pay,

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Guest Poster - Padawan Erifia [Topic - Huh?]

I was shocked when I found out who was teaching me. It was the commander of this base. I had to impress him. If he would write good letters, than I would be able to be a good GAR soldier. I couldn’t get booted out of the GAR too.

Major-Commander Graft, I was to refer to him as Sir, or Major. He took me to a special range, and I was to shoot ten targets in twenty seconds. Two seconds for each target. Anything less then a head shot would be worthless.

I noticed their distance, and he said, “Go!” I took aim at the first, and then he started screaming and firing an archaic gun that made loud booms. And I fumbled on the first shot. He withdrew a long piece of leather and struck my hand.

I winced in pain, and went to rub my hand but he raised his hand to strike mine again. I didn’t do it, and I went back to the gun.

“Go!” I did it again and he kept making noise, and yelling and screaming, and fired. I missed five of them. He slapped my other hand with the leather. I winced again.

“Private Apoc!” He yelled, “You are failing!” I sucked it up. I aimed the gun.

“Go!” I fired all ten shots. I felt a gust of air, and I had hit all of them in the head. He took a small vial of bacta and rubbed it on one hand. “Again!” he screamed, and I quickly fired, hoping to the force I had hit them all. He applied Bacta to my other hand.

“Do you understand the stakes?!” He screamed at me, “Good! Then do it until seventeen hundred hours, and report for dinner. He sat down on a chair, and waited for me to fire again. I did, and did so without hesitation or pause as he screamed and yelled.

I hit them all and he used the balm on my other hand. We ended at seventeen hundred, and I ate my dinner; We did war games again. Then to bed.

The next day Major-Commander Graft made me begin to practice using the weaknesses of the weapon and making it into a strength. He had heard how I used reflection to ‘kill two people’ so he set up a series of mirrors. One of the mirrors would lead to the kill shot of the droid.

I had thirty seconds to find it. I looked, and I looked, and shot at the droid itself. He hit a button and slapped my hand, “Now, that’s blast shield. You’re down to fifteen seconds, think.

I looked, I had to be a good soldier, I had to be a good soldier, or else I would be a slave girl. I didn’t want to be a slave. I shot at the first mirror I had an inclination about. The beam bounced, from mirror to mirror until finally, I felt the soft soothing bacta on my hurt hand.

“Private Apoc! Do it again!” The mirrors all moved. There had to be a method other than luck. I looked closely, I saw very faintly the head of the droid, and I shot the mirror, and the beam bounced and struck the droid.

He hit the button and the mirrors moved, “Again, Private Apoc!” He continued my training through repetition for the rest of the day, and well past dinner. Well into the night. He then told me after the hours and hours of practicing, “Private Apoc; Tomorrow you’ll not have to run the mile or do the pushups; You are to report here at thirteen hundred hours.”

I went to bed, and I woke with the men, and I ran the mile, and did the pushups anyway. I had to show him I would make a good soldier. After I was done I reported to him. There was a forest holo-area.

“Private Apoc; Anything that is in there will hurt you. There will be no Bacta for you. You’re only item will be that gun. Your object is to survive.”

“Yessir, if it is your wish.” He nodded. I loaded my sniper rifle, and entered. It was a nighttime area. It looked to be one of the great forest worlds. I leaned against a tree. I didn’t understand what he wanted. So I decided the object would be to get through it.

As I walked, I heard sounds all about me, and I ran to the closest shadow, and hid. A patrol of droids walked by. What would I be doing fighting droids? Droids are programmed to help people.

How could one fight droids? I had read once that their CPU was contained in their heads. So a headshot would kill them like a normal human. I clicked my gun and they all turned, and unleashed a volley of beams towards me. One hit my shoulder and I dropped to the ground. My whole left side felt numb. I grit my teeth and picked up my gun, and fired, I had to do it without thinking, without aiming. I had no time for either.

In the end, they were all disabled, and there were thermal detonators on them. I picked them up and pocketed them as I rushed down the path. I activated one. I had ten seconds to get rid of it. I heard shots being fired. That’s what I was hoping for.

I threw it, and then ran the opposite way. When the detonator went off it was like a small nuclear explosion. My body began to react to these things awkwardly. It responded in the way it should have. It automatically took care of doing the thinking for me.

I was trained some with sabers, but I didn’t understand, why was my body reacting to these situations so? The explosion caused many droids to react to it, and they rolled towards it, once they had surrounded it, I threw another thermal into them.

They had to have some problem processing the danger because they looked at it, trying to analyze it. As they did it exploded taking them with it. The holo shut off.

“Thank you Padawan,” Major-Commander said, “When Gerith Gwin dropped you here, I was hesitant. He said you were a brilliant scholar and very logical, but I never imagined you’d become a good soldier. And in your absence from the temple the group known simply as the CIS has been raising in power with their Droid Armies. Today you just found a weakness we can use until these droids are reprogrammed. They don’t know how to respond to their own weapons being used against them. That will change soon, but… Still it’s a weakness.”

I was confused and taken back, “I’m a Private in the GAR. I’m not a Padawan anymore.”

“That’s what you master wanted you to think. So that way you would work your hardest. Which you did. He will be picking you up tonight.”

“But…”

“Well done Padawan. You’ve impressed me, and earned the respect of those soldiers. One day you’ll become a Jedi Knight, and you’ll earn the respect of your men, and they will follow you.”

“What are your final orders sir?”

“To say goodbye, collect your things, and keep anything that was given to you.”

“Yes sir!” I saluted. I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to stay with the men who I learned to love. Who I respected.

Friday, November 24, 2006

Guest Poster - Padawan Erifia [Topic: Aiming]

“Private Apoc! Take your time and Aim, but do it quickly!” How could I possibly do that? I was looking out at the target range. There were several target droids all of them moving.

It was the start of week three. Having to carry this gun everywhere with me, strengthen my arms and my legs because as we did pushups and ran those many miles we had to do it with the guns on our shoulders.

I held the gun up, and I aimed, and I pulled the trigger, swung right, pulled the trigger, and pushed upward and pulled the trigger again. I heard three beeps, and felt a gust of wind and the targets came back.

“Private Apoc!” I nodded meekly, “Yessir?” He spoke again, “You hit all three of them in the heads. How did you do that private?!” I shook my head no. “Speak up!” I said loudly, “I don’t know Sir, I hate guns!”

“Dismissed. Remember to clean that gun and replace its power cell with this!” He handed me a new power cell but this one was glowing orange instead of the blue one in my gun. I saluted and left the range. When I arrived back at barracks, all of the men in my company were changing powercells out.

“Hey Tri’lek. You hear what we are doing tonight, right?” It was my friend, the one he had saved, I didn’t know his name, so I called him ‘Deadweight’ which was a suggestion from the other men, “No Deadweight, should I have?” “Yessum, young lady. War games.”

I didn’t know what that meant, was war supposed to be a game? Was it a holo-game like Obi-Wan plays back at the temple? Was it a board game of some sort? Or a card game? I did as Drill Sergeant Ordered, I cleaned my gun, and replaced the power-cell.

I laid down and took a nap. It was nice not having to do anything after range practice. I was awoken by Deadweight who handed me a vest and a helmet.

“Put these on,” he said, “And lets go.”

I put them on over the clothes I was wearing and I exited my little cubby. We were all taken outside of the shield and into the forests. The whole area was marked. No-one said a word as we walked there. The Drill sergeant finally spoke, “Men, this is a two mile by two mile battlefield, you will be fighting against your other two companies. When you shoot them with these guns it will hurt, but it will not cause lasting harm. The vests are to protect vital organs, and they will vibrate and shut off your gun when you are considered dead. You will be commanded by Private Jerin here. You have six minutes to develop a battle plan.”

Drill sergeant left, and all that remained was us. Private Jerin’s first orders were this, “Tri’lek, go hide somewhere where no-one can see you, and wait for anyone wearing black or brown vests to walk by. Shoot their head, but don’t reveal your location.”

I nodded. I rushed off into the forest. I found a tree, it was somewhat hallow on the inside of a fork of its branches and I cradled into there. It was warm and I waited. Darkness was falling, and my eyes adjusted immediately. I could see as clearly as if it was day.

I felt that this was the point in which they could tell if I was going to be a good soldier or not. I had to do well. The temple wouldn’t accept me, I had to do it here. As I sat there in silence, I thought about Master Gerith Gwin. I missed him. He was my father.

A lone tear rolled down my cheek. I saw through the tear and I looked out. There was a ground of about four men. I looked. The soft moonlight glowed and I saw a reflection the light off of their helmets.

My master’s lightsaber was a enhancement of light. Were not blasters too? I held steady, they were moving at a rapid pace, and just as the moon’s light became the brightest in my scope, I fire, and it hit both of their heads. I heard loud beeps and vibration, and I laid my gun on the tree, and I curled into my cubby.

“A sniper? Where is she?!” They began to search. I couldn’t move, not just yet. That’s when a group of five men from the other company came down over the rolling hill, and the two men (minus the two I put out) who were scouts were mowed down by their gunfire, but not before they killed three of them. I moved, and aimed. I fired twice. Both struck them, and they dropped to the ground.

I curled into my spot again. It took while before I heard shots fired, and rays were going everywhere, everyway, and everyplace. I was told to stay. I couldn’t move. I watched as my company ran over the hill, they were retreating? The group chasing them had a GAR Mini-gun. The blasts were unrelentless.

I aimed, and I fired, one, two, three, four, five. Reload. Six, seven, eight, nine and ten. Each shot landed, and my company turned, and charged into it. I climbed down from the tree, and I walked forward, I walked to the soldier who had the GAR Mini-Gun. I reached down, and spoke softly, “I’ll give this back after the battle.”

I strapped my sniper rifle on my back, and I held his Mini-gun in my hand. I grabbed his side arm too. It was a small blaster rifle. I chased after my company. The last rival company was coming through the woods, and our company sat in quiet ambush. When the majority of their troops were in between us, without order, I unleased fire from the mini-gun. I wasn’t aiming. That’s not how you use that gun.

I turned rotated, and the men on the other end starting screaming, “They’ve got a Mini-Gun!” Finally the powercell died, and I dropped it, and withdrew the blaster pistol and fell back to the tree line. My chest was rising up and down with adrenaline rush.

I had never felt like this before. I decided to sit still and calm myself further. I would make mistakes in battle if I allowed this outburst to get the best of me. Private Jerin, walked over to me, “Good job tri’lek. Get back to your hiding spot, there has to be more of them.”

I did as ordered, I climbed the tree, and sat down in my cubby. I withdrew the pistol. It was uncomfortable to be strapped at my side. I heard screams and heavy fire. I sat still. Over the hill came something I didn’t expect to see.

It was a rancor. Or at least, a rancor robot. It had suffered little damage. I was scared my company had been hurt. I hoped they weren’t. I looked at it, it was a droid. But there was a cockpit. Someone was operating that thing.

I looked for apparent weaknesses in structure. None. I looked for a way to shoot through the cockpit. None. There were targets on it, or at least receptors. But I didn’t want to treat it as though it was the animal. It wasn’t.

I slowly climbed out of my tree. I strapped the blaster at my side, and the sniper on my back, and I held low to the ground as I went across the field. I melded into the shadows as Master Gerith called it.

I arrived behind the monstrosity. I saw an entrance to it. I shot the latch with my sniper rifle, it made no sound generally. I opened the door, and climbed in silently. I climbed up the ladder. At the top of it, I noticed there was a man operating it. He wasn’t wearing the protective armor and helmet. I held the blaster to the back of his head.

He stood with his arms in the air, “Miss Apoc,” the older man who was smoking the cigar supplied, “Gerith Gwin warned me about you. He said you’re too logical. I didn’t figure anyone would do this. You’ve got me, what are you going to do with me?”

“I mean no disrespect sir. I am just reacting how I would as a Soldier of the Galactic Republic sir. I am going to need to commandeer your rancor, sir,” I added meekly and softly.

“Well done, it’s yours,” he climbed down the ladder. I began to operate the monstrosity. It projected force fields around the claws, that caused no harm to the solider, and when they were eaten, they fell in a tub of foam. It was a clever training device.

I walked down the road, and found part of Company A in a blaster fight with my company. I swung my claws at Company A, and I stopped, and shut down the robot, and climbed out the back of it. When I exited, my company saw me, and began to laugh.

“We figured you’d take it out, tri’lek, just not like that.” They all came up and started slapping me on the back. Why do men have to hurt people to show their affection?

If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a mile run in the morning, and more intensive training with my weapon tomorrow,

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Guest Poster - Padawan Erifia [Topic - Don't shoot me.]

At the end of the first week, I somehow, a young girl, had been accepted among them. There was no question as to whether I was one of them or not. I didn’t understand. I hadn’t done anything to earn their respect.

I went to bed early every night, and woke up in the same fashion every morning. The runs in the morning started to seem like nothing. The pushups after the runs seemed like nothing.

I woke in the morning; it marked one week since the first day I had arrived. In the morning at reveille they took us into the weapon training building. One by one we were separated and there were shots fired, I was terrified at first, but when the soldier exited with a gun I wasn’t as scared.

I waited for my turn, and I entered. They handed me a blaster pistol. There were many, many other guns, but they handed me that one. I looked down range, there was a droid. It was marked with red where would be the most effective place to kill a person.

I took my time and I aimed at its head, it took me thirty seconds, but finally I fired. Its head exploded. The drill sergeant looked at me, and said, “Private Apoc; That was a hard shot to do, how often have you shot a blaster?”

“Never before sir. I don’t like guns.” He was taken back by my comment, and I nodded so he would know I meant it. He walked around, and he withdrew a very long rifle. He handed it to me.

“This is a GAR Sniper Rifle DLT-19 Modified Heavy Blaster Rifle. Modified so that it’s a sniper rifle permanently. Enhanced with the most advanced technology, it can fire a shot that has potency up to three miles.” When he handed it to me it was much lighter than I imagined. I held it up. My aim shook, but I took a deep breath, and it steadied the rifle. I looked, I couldn’t even see the target. I looked through the scope; even within in the scope it looked small.

I could make out two things, the tiny head, and the chest. I aimed, taking my time. I paused, and squeezed the trigger, as the blast went out it kicked and knocked me onto the ground. I looked down; scared I had done something wrong. I heard beeping, and then a push of air.

“Private Apoc,” he said firmly. I rose, there was scolding in his voice, “You hit him in the nose.” I looked up to him, “I’m sorry, sir.”

“Don’t apologize to me Private!” I nodded, “Yessir.” He pointed to the door, “Dismissed Private, report to your company!”

I exited the room, and the men in my company laughed at me? Maybe. “Hey Tri’lek girl, that gun must be intimidated, it’s never been manhandled by something smaller than it.”

The men laughed and nudged me.

I shrunk in on myself. I don’t get it, why were they laughing at me, and showing affection by elbowing me in the side?

If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a thirteen mile run and hundreds of pushups,

Monday, November 20, 2006

When I first entered the barracks, I noticed it smelled of sweat and BO. I was a girl, why was I rooming with men? There were many of them all around, and at the end of the barracks there was a freshly built wall made of dark black plastic. I opened the door, and found it was my own room, and it had a lock inside of it for me. There was also Republic issue army clothes. Two switches of clothes.

I switched into them, and I opened my door. All the men stared at me. I looked down from them, and opened the door again. I laid on my bed and cried silently. I fell asleep, and early in the morning I was awoken by the Bugle Droid. I stood, and wiped the sleep from my eyes. I exited the room, and the entire company was having a hard time waking.

I walked outside, and I stood at attention. The Drill Sergeant passed me by, walked into the barracks and there was lots of yelling. I waited with my head down as the rest of the company filed out behind me. The stood in line with me. I looked towards the other two companies, there was company A and C, and both were all men too.

Our first task was a thirteen mile run. If we dropped during the run, then we had to be carried by our company, and that increased the difficulty of the task and if we were first we would get shower passes, if not then we went without cleaning.

We stood in order, and the run began. The first two miles were okay; but as it got further on I got more and more tired. But I wasn’t going to stop. And I couldn’t force run, because if they knew I had been trained as a Jedi they would all hate me for sure. The man next to me collapsed, and the other men kept moving.

“We need to get him,” I said softly. The others ignored me. I grabbed him, my legs felt weak, and my muscles ached from just picking him up. I began to walk. I couldn’t run, I had to walk. My legs felt like they were going to give out. I kept walking.

There so many more miles. So many more; I couldn’t walk them all with his weight. I saw another man had fallen. He wasn’t even in my company, his hat was different. I looked at him, as he wheezed on the ground. I laid the one on my shoulder down on the ground, and I grabbed the other by the arm. I then grabbed the other by his shirt collar. I pulled them by walking backwards.

My muscles burnt. I pulled on them I wasn’t getting far at all. I kept pulling and pulling, and it seemed that I wasn’t moving them anywhere. Had our companies just not noticed the men dropping? I pulled, and I tugged. My muscles began to give up. I forced them into continuing I had to be a good soldier. I could never go back to being a Jedi now. I marked a rock far ahead of me, and I pulled them past it.

I marked another rock, and I pulled them past it. I marked another one. I pulled them past it. I marked another one, and I pulled them past it. I tripped. There was another man. From the last company; I set him on top of the other two, and I pulled. It was too much weight.

I pulled. I pulled and I pulled. I finally fell from fatigue. My hands raw, and my legs feeling of rubber. I grabbed them and on the ground I pulled. Getting little further. I sat for a moment, and my muscles began to tense. I couldn’t do this… I cried… I didn’t belong here, I didn’t belong in the temple, where did I belong?

I stood and I kept pulling. I was so tired. My body ached so bad. I pulled harder and harder, and I marked a stone. I pulled further and further.

I pulled further and further. More and more. Finally I collapsed. I began to cry. Pain filled my body. It burnt, my lungs, my legs, my arms. I felt a hand on my shoulder, it was the first man who fell, the second too was standing.

“Come on tri’lek,” the name stung, but he had said it so kindly to me. I didn’t think he meant any insult by it. The second man spoke too, “Let’s go. We can make it to the end.” The last man shook, and he looked at them with me, “You dragged me, didn’t you?”

I nodded. He responded with, “Then let’s get you to the end.” He stood, and we began to run. It was so much easier without them, but I was so tired from having dragged them. I started to wobble and my legs gave out, and I hit the hard down with my cheek, or I would have except they caught me by the arms, and all three of them carried me as they ran. Once I got my strength back. I stood and ran. I was doing it, and I forced my muscles to work, and I saw the end, the platoons were standing at attention as the drill sergeants yelled at them.

I ran as hard as I could without force running. Before we got to the end line, the men stopped and let me cross first, why? Didn’t they want the shower tokens? I didn’t understand. Once I arrived across the finish line, my body gave out, and I fainted.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Master Gerith and I were taking a fieldtrip to a GAR training facility. He called in a favor. He didn’t tell me anything about it. I was hesitant. I had heard horror stories of what the GAR soldiers went through.

They had to go through extreme muscle training and they had to run dozens of miles a day. I’m not very athletic at all. I know how to fight, but I can’t run or anything like that. Master Gerith had focused more on my saber fighting then he had on the rigorous physical training of the other padawans.

“Erifia,” He scolded with his voice, and I took a step back away from him.

“Sorry for questioning your wisdom master.”

He lead me to a base. The base was surrounded by shields, and the only entrance was guarded by several GAR guards. My master walked up to them, and he showed them a card, and they moved aside.

They were big men, and they scared me. I gently crossed the threshold. The buildings were large like Coruscant’s and it frightened me. I don’t like tall buildings. I feel so small and so helpless around them. My master walked me up to a large building.

He opened the door but did not enter, “Master!” I said, “Please come in with me. I can’t go in alone.” I looked down from him when I asked him to do that. He spoke, “Erifia. You need to do this alone.”

I walked inside the doors, and there was a woman at the desk, she looked at me, and hit a button, and there was a loud buzz. I jumped at the sound of it. The door opened, and she spoke in nasally tones, “Go in there Honey.”

I walked into the room, and it was layered with smoke, and smells I didn’t like. It was dark, and all that could be seen was a smoldering cigar in the ash tray.

“Sit down,” He spoke in harsh loud tones, and I pulled myself into the large chair. I sat down and shifted uncomfortably and I buttoned my jacket, “You Gerith Gwin’s daughter, right?” Daughter?

I couldn’t correct his mistake, “Yes,” I said meekly. He turned in the chair and looked at me, “You’re enrolled.”

“You’ll be going through GAR Soldier Training. It will be a month of heavy work.” I looked down from him. He said, “Go to Barracks B; Get some sleep, there will be a lot of work.”

I stepped out of the room so I was always facing him, and then I ran outside and leapt for Master Gerith who wasn’t there. He had left me? Why? What had I done? I sat down against the wall and began to cry.

He enrolled me in the GAR army. I must have been kicked from the temple… I don’t even know what I did… I forced back my tears, and sucked it in, if I wasn’t going to be a Jedi, then I was going to be the best soldier I could be.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Femme-bots and guns.

“Look Becca, It’s really not that big of a deal, so if you did something big for me, I am going to dock your pay a week, okay?”

“I don’t know,” she responded, “Why would you do that?”

“It is just a show of my displeasure. I mean, I wouldn’t even really count it as 150, I’d more count it as like, 145. Because there are some entries that just don’t cut up to be posts.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about… I brought you here to…”

With that my wonderful sidekick peeled off her skin and was a droid underneath. I have to say, I was a little confused, and I reached for my lightsabers. They weren’t there?

The droid began to fire at me, using a GAR Autofire Mini-gun. Now, Not only was I really confused, I was very confused. I leapt backwards, and I landed with a thump upon some poor clone, and I grabbed his blaster pistol.

I stood, holding it steady, and then the blaster bolts flew by me. I ducked, rolled, and stood behind a tree. It wouldn’t give me much cover as it stands. But I needed some. I held it steady, and got him in my crosshairs, and then a detonator was thrown.

I leapt up from tree, and splinter shards went everywhere. A couple caught my leg, threw my force jump off, and I went tumbling in air to the ground. I hit the ground with a thump, and the droid laughed.

What kind of a droid was this?

I held the blaster-pistol steady, I had one chance. Chest, neck, head, central computer processing unit (where the brain should be). I squeezed the trigger, and the unit went down. I ran up to it.

This was good, right? I checked it out. It was a GAR Battle Droid. Why was the GAR sending droids after me? I knelt down, and ripped off the mini-gun. A sniper-beam went right underneath my chin.

I turned to where it was coming from. There was a CIS sniper. Somehow, I honestly don’t see a GAR droid and a CIS droid working together without foul play. I force leapt into the air and another bolt went by me. I shouldered the large mini-gun and unleashed a volley of shots; I didn’t get a chance to aim, and the by luck, one of the splatter hit his eye scopes, and sent him to the ground. I landed on top of him, and dropped the mini-gun on top of his head.

It splattered; or the droid equivalent about splattered. I’m far too busy with these droids to think of good words. I strapped the blaster pistol on my lekku. I grabbed the sniper’s gun. I have to say, I drooled. It was top of the line. I kissed it.

“Hey baby,” I whispered, “Come to mama.”

I waited, on the roof-top, watching the remains of the droid I had killed. Eventually either the GAR or the CIS would come and pick him up. Depending on which one was my enemy. It was a CIS Super Battle Droid.

I held my sniper (That’s right, MY!) rifle even with his CPU. He called for several of his patrol, and they all stood around the GAR droid. I released the first silent shot, and it caused the original to drop to his knees.

They didn’t know where it came from, but they knew it came, and they all held their guns ready looking around. I slowly moved my sights to a mirror in a window. I waited, they began to move around, and I saw one in the mirror. I fired, and the bolt did as I wanted it to, it reflected and made it look like it was coming from the shop.

It missed my target, but that’s okay. I unleashed a shot, and then pulled and I shot the second. The last one standing there, knew where I was, and I quickly charged the cartridge, and fired before he got a chance to shoot.

A droid wielding a cutter ran towards the group. A decoy. No-one knew where I was so they sent in a distraction… I brought my gun to look at where he was coming from. There was a CIS Command Unit over there. But he was protected, and any shot I did on him, would only alert him and whoever else was with him to my position; I also looked at the shots left on the gun, there were three.

The droid that owned this before, wasn’t good at sniping.

If you’ll excuse me, I have to figure a way out of this one,

Hugs and Kisses,Erifia Apoc

-- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Hello Everyone, Erifia’s Author here.

As you know I do a blogger dedication every week, and this week is no exception. But the show times, which are normally Thursday from 2 to 4, are now, for one week only, going to be from 2 to 6. That’s right, my co-host isn’t here so I have the reigns all day.

This weeks’ blogger dedication is…

Jaba! I am going to be playing the song somewhere around 3 est. And I will explain something before you all get hung up on the song. I needed something that sounded country, and could be applied to the Star Wars Universe. So whenever it says anything about anything in the skies, change that to ships. And the character of the song on the ground is on a turret.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Guest Poster - Tatooine the Tauntaun [Topic - Mr. Haggus' and Rizzo]

Mommy was sitting in the pretty room, with all the lights and screens, and it rang, and a funny little man was on it.

(Does Mr. Haggus see it the same way I do? Click his picture.)

“Erifia here, I see you got my message Mr. Haggus,” Mommy said.

“Hello Erifia! Hope your doing well, I got your message and just thought I’d let you Know I want a day out with Tatooine. I think that would be most fun!”

“You going to take care of my baby? Or will I have to saber you?” Mommy said to him, was she being mean? The funny little man wanted to give me gifts.

“Of course I’ll take care of him, then again he’s almost twice my size, he might end up taking care of me,’ the funny little man said.

“Mommy! Mommy! Will he play with me will he play with me?!” I yelled.

Mommy turned to me, and smiled, “Mr. Haggus won a day with you in a contest.”

“Mommy! Mommy! He has a funny last name!”

“That’s right Tatooine,” he said, “I’d like to take you to Chucky Rizzo’s for a day. We can play all sorts of games.”

“Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!” I started yelling.

“Yes, Tatooine, that sounds like a lot of fun,” Mommy said, “When will you pick him up, Mr. Haggus?” Mommy said.

“How’s noon tomorrow?” He said, “That gives us plenty of time to play all the games and still get him home for bedtime.”

“Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Did you hear, did you hear?! But tomorrow is a long time away!” I yelled.

“Tatooine, honey, its okay, its sooner than you think. Its about eight now, if you go to sleep, the morning will come really fast,” mommy said to me, “Okay,” mommy said to the phone, “I will see you then.”

I woke in the morning, and I began to hop around, Mommy was already up, and she had made me a bowl of tatooine flakes. I ate them quickly, and she made me get a bath. I kept trying to fight, I hate water!

When I was soaked, I felt cold and hairless, and I was really, really cold. Then she shampooed my fur, and I smelled all clean. I sneezed. Lilacs! Its so girly!

She tried me off, and put back on my translator, and handed me my clean bubble-bub-kin, which she tied around my neck.

He knocked on the door, and I rushed out of it, and I jumped on him, and licked his face.

“You take care of my baby Mr. Haggus, or you’ll get it.”

“Yes mam,” he said.

I began to jump and down, and he took me into his ship, and I sat on the seat, my tail flapping up and down. I began to bounce around, it was taking too long to get there.

“Are we there yet?!” I yelled, “Its taking tooooo long!”

“Almost, “ he said, “It’ll be soon.”

Once we landed, I saw the big rat, and he opened the door, and he put a leash on me, I ran towards the doors, and pushed him through them.

The man at the door, asked us for the money, and he paid, and he said, “Is the animal sentient?” Sentient? What’s that mean?

“What’s that mean mister?!”

“Not to seem rude, but this animal probably has more cranial capacity then you do. He is quite sentient. He can even tell you himself,” the guy took the money, and he handed us golden coins, we walked to the middle of the arcade, and I looked around, there were sooo many buttons.

“So what do you want to play first?” he asked me, “Mr Haggus!” I yelled as I ran towards the giant pit of balls, and leapt into it, becoming buried by it.

Mr. Haggus and I, played hide and seek in the ball pit, and I used my tail like a snake would and I swam through the balls avoiding him when he was it. It was so much fun! I wanted Mommy to be here too for fun!

Afterwards I was hungry… I wanted food. Mommy always fed me at this time.

“How about pizza?!” He asked, and I jumped up and down, he ordered the largest pizza and I began to eat the pizza. I didn’t eat it all, I left him some. I began to jump up and down as I ran towards the slides, and the arcade.

I think, Mr. Haggus, said, “What’s next?” But I was already gone. We played all over the place, and we did dancing, and we did buttons and we did balls and we did food… we did everything

Then the mean man called over the intercom and said, “Chuckie Rizzo’s is closing now.”

I drooped and was sad. He grabbed my leash, and pulled me over towards the exit… I was sad. Mr. Haggus, was a nice man.

We went home, and stopped at McDooku’s on the way home, he bought me a Happy Ewok Meal! I was so excited. I got a toy, it was my mommy, an action figure of my mommy.

Once we got home, Mommy met us outside and I ran to her and jumped on her. She hugged me tightly, “You’re five minutes late,” Mommy said to Mr. Haggus, “Would you like money for the day?” she asked him.

“No, it was fun, its nice to get out and be a kid again.”

I ran inside, and Mr. Haggus, sat down with my Mommy and they talked about stuff, and I fellt sleep laying on my mommy’s lap.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

My Author is Pushy

ERIFIA: HEY! Look here, you pushy, inconsiderate, pushy man... What do you think you are doing?

Plugging my Radio Show of Course.

ERIFIA: Selfish! Selfish!

Not like that, it's my Blogger Dedication, and this week its special.

ERIFIA: Why?

Because, without this guy, you wouldn't exist.

ERIFIA: Oh... I know who it is. I'll be good.

So, I want to make a big deal out of this blogger dedication, and this one is very special, because without this person I wouldn't have a blog, and Erifia wouldn't exist. As he has been an inspiration to many bloggers whose sole reason for starting was so they could someday come even close to the greatness that is his blog, I am dedicating this to Master Yoda.

Of all the figures in the blogging world, especially the Star Wars side, Master Yoda is sacred. No one can even come close. We all may use some ideas he has used on our blogs, it is solely because all of our blogs somehow were affected by him.

I remember myself; (and he was just leaving as I was starting and it made me very sad) waiting for him to do another "Force wedgie all the jedi, I did, Yes." So that way I could have Erifia react to it. Good times, good times.

He's appeared three times on Erifia's blog to date. The first was when he was leaving, and Erifia's Reaction found Here.

In a flashback post about why Erifia hates Aayla, he appeared as a wise mentor. Find it by clicking Here.

After my brother saw me, and I was very sad and depressed, and he made me smile by using a Yoda Pez Dispenser; The post corresponding I made for Erifia can be found by clicking the picture.

The most recent time he appeared, he played a comedic roll in a very dramatic and serious situation. Somehow, after everything, I (the author) came to the point where I needed to turn Erifia into a Master. So, who better than to give her the title than Master Yoda? Click Here.

Okay, now the history lesson is over, let's get to it. I only, honestly have one choice I can do for Yoda, however, I have decided to play two songs. And knowing how busy Master Yoda's Author is, I know he won't get to listen so I will post them here.

Yoda - Weird Al Yankovich

and

Yoda's Clever Advice - Unknown

To get to Yoda's Blog, if you do not have the link, click the picture below.

I thought that picture was fitting.

To listen to my Radio Show, tune in on Thursday (today) November 9, 2006, at 2-6 EST. Blogger Dedications go out roughly at 3:00.

Get the live feed here.

http://wcal.cup.edu/live.mov

Okay, Thats it. I'm done.

ERIFIA: If you'll excuse me, I've got to listen to my Author's Radio Show today,

Monday, November 06, 2006

Guest Poster - Young Erifia [Topic - When I was young; Part 2]

I sat at the hover bus terminal, it was cold, all I had were my black clothes from capture the flag, and they were not warm, and Coruscant’s lights provided no real warmth for me at night.

“You’re going to need some money,” said a familiar voice from behind, “I’ve got a stack of credits here for you.” I turned up to him. The familiar face of my master was buried in the hood.

“No thank you, I’ll make it on my own,” I told him.

“That’s not the question, I am sure you are more than capable of making it by yourself, but let me give you a few credits to get by with,” he said to me.

“I’ll make my own money,” I said with my arms crossed on my chest.

“I know you can do that too. You’re a very pretty young girl, and I’m sure someplace would hire you as a bar-maid until you are sixteen, and you can become a dancing girl.” He sat down next to me on the bench, “You don’t have any food.”

“I don’t need food,” I said.

“You’re right,” he said, “You don’t need food either. The Force can let you survive for weeks without food.”

“Yes sir,” I said to him.

“Do you want a map?”

“No, I don’t need a map.”

“Erifia, You’re an amazing student,” he said to me.

“That gets me beat up,” I said.

“Do you remember when I told you it was okay to defend yourself, so long ago?”

“Yessir,” I said, “But whenever I do, Quinlan Vos always takes me to Master Yoda for punishment and I wind up having to do KP duty.”

“Erifia, do you know why I allow this? Why I don’t beg and plead to Master Yoda to not punish you?”

I looked at him immediately, he knew?! I knew he knew she beat me up, but he knew I was unjustly punished and still he did nothing!

“Calm down,” he said, “It’s because every time it happens, you become stronger. I noticed that with all the lifting and working of your body, you become stronger, and you learn to fight by defending yourself.”

“No master, you are wrong,” I said, “I may get stronger, but you are allowing unjust actions to go on.”

“You know, when I told my master that, I was your age. And I was going through the same thing, this bully named Quinlon Vos kept beating on me when I was younger.”

“You’ve let it continue another generation?!”

“Erifia, calm down dear, you have every right to be mad. But don’t let the anger control you. Control it, if you want to hit me, hit me.”

I looked at him, and I stared into his eyes, and I saw Aayla, and I swung in, and when I connected with his flesh, his head went to the side, and I kicked him in the chest. He coughed and laughed.

“Now, how do you feel?” He asked me.

I closed my eyes. I felt better. I don’t know what happened. I felt better. I opened my eyes. I released a sigh.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Guest Poster - Padawan Erifia [Topic: When I was Young]

I am Erifia Apoc, a Jedi Master, and a Republic Spy, but I wasn’t always so. I once was a padawan, naïve and young.

- - - - - - -

“I’ve got the flag!” Someone yelled, I didn’t know who it was. I just knew that I was nearby. I heard them running, their feet pounding the soft holo ground, and then they hit the creek, the creek is nearby. They were using the force! That was cheating!

I stepped out from behind the tree, and force shoved them into the ground, and I grabbed the flag, and touched their flailing arm. I hadn’t meant to hurt Ecnarb but he was cheating. I ran the flag back.

I stuck strong against the trees, and I returned the flag. Obi-Wan was there, and he smiled when he saw I returned the flag, “Good Job, Erifia.”

I smiled softly at him, and I began my quick trek back to the red side. I stuck up against the trees, and I traveled through the bushes. When I arrived at the other end, I had to look for their flag.

That was the hard part, and since Aayla was hiding it, she would hid it with specific purpose so I would never find it. It was true. She knew me, she studied me. I caught her a couple times. I didn’t understand what the big deal was, I was nothing special. I stayed to myself, except when Barriss and I worked on our studies together, or when Obi-Wan came to see me.

He did that a lot. Came to me at night, crying. It was hard to take, for me at least, I’m eleven, and he’s sixteen, and so cute. So cute… But Aayla hurt him a lot… She’s fourteen. She’s a lot older then me.

I could never compete for his love. The flag was hidden in the big bush, in middle of the clearing. I could see its bright red colors from where I stood, the night was like the day, and I could see everyone around me.

I was clear, no one was there, and the only light of the holo moon left me a dark line right up to the bush, and I followed it hanging in tightly to it. About halfway through the clearing, someone punched me in the back of the head, and I fell to the ground writhing in pain.

It was Aayla, I recognized the fist. I turned over and I looked at her, “I caught you, tri’lek.” I nodded solemnly and I stood and began my trek towards jail. It wasn’t long before their team won. Aayla did everything she could to stop me. Why did she hate me so much?

I left the game early that night, and with my leaving my team gave up. I couldn’t be such a vital player in the team? Could I? Was I? I went to the showers. Other girls came in. I left without my shower. I went to my room, and I looked at the picture of my mother laying on my headboard. I reached out for her, and realized she was just a picture. I leaned against the wall, and my head rested against it.

I began to cry. Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier to quit being a jedi. Is it really worth it? Couldn’t I quit? I was going to, it wasn’t worth it. Aayla beats me everyday, its not worth it; no-one ever believes except Master Gerith. Quinlan Vos has them all wrapped around his finger. I can’t even hate Aayla as much as I hate him!

I packed my clothes. I packed everything I cared about, and the last thing I put in was the picture of my mother. I ran out of dorms, and I ran out of the temple. I was never going back there. Never ever. No-one could make me!

Star Wars and all related characters are trademarks of Lucasfilm Ltd. This site is intended as a parody. As such, use of copyrighted and trademarked images is allowed under Fair Use. Erifia Apoc, Becca the Magnificant and Tatooine the Tauntaun, are all characters made by the author, using some Lucasfilm Ltd. Ideas.