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The Week in Celebrity Fashion, Part 1

Mornings are hard, but judging is easy.

KEIRA KNIGHTLEY at the BFI London Film Festival gown by Valentino, shoes by Charlotte Olympia

Photo: Karwai Tang/WireImage

This is one of the most delicately, glamorously exquisite gowns I have ever laid eyes on. Keira is giving us FACE, the earrings are extraordinary, and the red shoes were a wonderful surprise. This is pretty damn close to perfect.

KEIRA KNIGHTLEY at the BFI London Film Festivaldress by Valentino, shoes by Charlotte Olympia

Photo: Tim P. Whitby/Getty

I don’t know why Valentino even bothers with advertising. Isn’t Keira Knightley’s mere existence all the good publicity the label could ever need?

JAMES MARSDEN in Los Angelessuit by Thom Sweeney, shoes by Givenchy

Photo: Mark Davis/Getty

THAT COLOR. What do you even call that? Dusty teal? Deep cerulean? James Marsden’s eyes on a cloudy day? It’s every bit as exquisite as he is.

KRISTEN STEWART at the New York Film Festivaldress by Chanel, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Jim Spellman/Getty

If anybody can pull off this “I am your fabulous robot overlord” aesthetic, it’s Kristen Stewart. This kind of outfit requires that oxymoronic hybrid attitude of “I don’t give a fuck what you think of me” paired with “I get paid a shit-ton of money to let Karl Lagerfeld dictate my wardrobe” that only she can provide.

KRISTEN STEWART on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallonsweater by Polo Ralph Lauren, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Theo Wargo/Getty

Chartreuse is not her color, but I love those shoes.

KRISTEN STEWART in New York Citydress by Chanel

Photo: Rex

Leather overalls? Are you fucking kidding me? No. I refuse to let this become a thing.

DIANNA AGRON in Los Angelesdress by Miu Miu, purse and shoes by Prada

Photo: Jonathan Leibson/Getty

I still miss her darker hair, but Dianna is growing into those platinum locks. Their old Hollywood glamour works well with this darling little frock. I love the seaming in the side of the bust – it’s mega-flattering. The little flowers in the middle are darling, and the different shades of blue in her accessories are really lovely. Also, that purse looks like candy and I want to eat it.

Michelle Monaghan has been all over the red carpet lately, but I always find myself a little underwhelmed by her fashion choices. The shoes are great, but this dress is only okay. I think the nude underlay is strange, but I think covering it up with the extra layer of red fabric in the skirt is even weirder.

ELLE FANNING in New York Citytop and skirt by Creatures of the Wind

Photo: Marion Curtis/Startraks

Don’t laugh. We were all sixteen once, and made far worse fashion decisions than this. And at least her eyeliner game is on point.

ELLE FANNING in New York Citydress by Jenny Packham

Photo: Getty

Too prim and proper for a girl as fun and funky as Elle. She’s been wearing Rodarte since she was practically a toddler. She should leave these basic, inoffensive dresses to Duchess Kate.

JENA MALONE in New York Citydress by Valentino, purse by Edie Parker, shoes by Tamara Mellon

Photo: Jack Shea/Starshots/Broadimage

I dislike about 99% of boots worn with dresses on the red carpet – the proportions so rarely work – but Jena is actually coming close to pulling these off. But with such a sweet prairie girl kind of dress, I’m just not buying it. Also, the clashing shades of red in her outfit could work, but when you add in her red hair, it’s completely overwhelming. I love Jena’s particular brand of weirdness, but this was too all over the place for me.

TAYLOR SWIFT in Londontop and skirt by Tanya Taylor, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti

Photo: Neil Mockford/Alex Huckle/GC

I’m officially over her matching top-and-skirt combos. They were lots of fun in the summer, but kicky co-ords can’t last forever, Taylor. Winter is coming.

I didn’t like the awkward proportions of this dress when Lucy Hale wore it, and I don’t like them now. The width of the skirt just looks bizarre with how crazy short it is.

ZENDAYA COLEMAN in Los Angelestop and skirt by Vivienne Westwood

Photo: Frazer Harrison/Getty

I don’t know what the hell an 18-year-old is doing in this old-lady-couture, and I don’t care. Because I can’t see anything besides that terrible, terrible wig. Unless she’s playing Velma Kelly in a high school production of Chicago, there is absolutely no reason for her to be wearing that thing.

2 responses to The Week in Celebrity Fashion, Part 1

Oh, Emmy Rossum. You look like the hostess at a restaurant where Mitch and Gail Leery would go on date night… Also, I feel like Kristen Stewart stole that green jumper from early seasons Monica Gellar.

Also, I’m once again playing “Please buy a colour” with that first dress of Keira’s. It’s a gorgeous dress, I just wish it wasn’t beige… (Okay, it’s more on the bronze side, but IMAGINE IF IT WAS DARK BLUE)