THE WAKKER WEEKLY - Issue #1397 - Posted on: 06-Nov-2017

BUSHWAKKER NEWS

Bushwakker Prime Rib Weekends Return! Back by popular demand! Our melt-in-your-mouth, low-and-slow roasted prime rib dinners with jumbo Yorkshire pudding have returned. And Sunday suppers just got a whole lot better at the Bushwakker! Choose from either an 8 oz. or a 10 oz. cut. Prime rib is definitely one of Bushwakker executive chef Mike’s specialties.

NEWS FROM THE BUSHWAKKER BREWERY. Bushwakker head brewer, MICHAEL GAETZ, reports the very popular CHICO IPA has returned as has the NORTHERN STRONG LAGER. BUSHVAR CZECH PILS is working its way through the brewery. Our brand new Bushwakker fruit beer, the BERRY CHERRY BLEND is receiving rave reviews. Our MISSILE "TOW” CHRISTMAS ALE has been brewed in preparation for its December 9th release. Brewer Michael is very happy with how this Christmas Ale is coming along. Our BLACKBERRY MEAD is also aging nicely in our cellar preparing for our December 2nd MEAD DAY! Be sure to enter our Blackberry Mead Day T-shirt Slogan Contest. See below.

WE’RE HIRING! We are currently seeking experienced part time servers and bartenders. Stop by with your resume and ask for Rayna or Cheryl.

Bushwakker Brewpub’s Writers Corner Seeks Books! Our 2nd Edition Writers Corner Launch will take place on Saturday, November 11 at 3:00 PM. We are seeking donations of recent publications (2015-2017 publication dates) from Saskatchewan authors (all genres) to help expand our library within the Writers Corner. The goal is to gradually increase the size of the library each year. More book shelves will be installed as the number of books increases. The books in the corner library will be available for patrons interested in reading works by local authors and the books are to remain in the brewpub at all times. To be considered for the library, books must be a minimum of 40 pages and professionally bound. Please drop off a copy of your recently published book (along with purchasing information which can be shared with brewpub patrons) to Grant Frew at Bushwakker. You can email Grant at bar@bushwakker.com. Rotating individual author biographies and brief book synopsis are featured in the brewpub’s weekly newsletter and social media channels on a regular basis.

Bushwakker 2017 Blackberry Mead Day Slogan Contest. We have received quite a number of submissions but we are looking for more! December 2nd is fast approaching and we are asking for your input in making our annual Blackberry Mead Release Event memorable, interactive and fun! We have incorporated a number of mead slogans over the years into the design of a limited edition Bushwakker Blackberry Mead t-shirt created by local artist, Gavin de Lint. “I Feel the Need for Mead”, “Mead Makes you Strong”, “Believe in Mead”, “A Friend with Mead is a Friend Indeed” are all previous examples. Now it’s your turn! Submit your 2017 Bushwakker Blackberry Mead Day slogans to bar manager Grant at bar@bushwakker.com by November 11th. He and Gavin will select the “most artistically inspiring” slogan in the creation of this year’s commemorative t-shirt. The person who submits the winning submission will receive a very special Bushwakker Blackberry Mead Package valued at over $100. Send as many submissions as you wish. Hurry! #MeadDay2017

Our premium wines for November are the CASILLERO DEL DIABLO DEVIL’S COLLECTION wines from Chile. The red is a Syrah/Cabernet Sauvignon and the white is a Chardonnay/Sauvignon Blanc. Both are $7.95 for a glass and $22.95 for a half litre.

Our guest tap is currently pouring a Saskatoon Berry Saison from the Prairie Sun Brewery in Saskatoon; $5.95 for a half pint and $7.95 for a pint. Next up we will offer a Sour IPA from Nokomis Craft Ales.

BUSHWAKKER EVENTS

Nov. 3: FIRST FIRKIN FRIDAY: Enjoy the pomp and circumstance of this long-standing Bushwakker monthly tradition. A keg of special beer is paraded throughout the brewpub in a procession led by a piper from The Regina Police Service Pipes & Drums. A volunteer is selected to wield the handmade wooden maul affectionately called The Mighty Firkin Wakker and attempt to tap the firkin in one mighty blow. This month’s firkin will be a special sneak peek enhanced chocolate version of our upcoming Two Sons Milk Stout. The suds-soaking spectacle takes place at 5:30 PM.

Nov. 4: SASK VS. EDMONTON. The final home game of the regular season! Kickoff is at 5:00 PM. Enjoy our gourmet EDMONTON BURGER & A PINT special for only $17.95. Come “devour” the competition!

Nov. 11: BUSHWAKKER WRITERS CORNER 2ND EDITION READING. Presented by the Saskatchewan Writers’ Guild and The Bushwakker Brewpub. Join us for this 2nd edition “launch” of the Bushwakker Writers Corner, a space dedicated to celebrating recent works of Saskatchewan published authors. Enjoy readings from six local authors including: Catherine Milos, Bill Waiser, Chelsea Coupal, Anne McDonald, Emily Eaton and James Daschuk. It has become very apparent that local authors love Bushwakker desserts so a special Bourbon Caramel Apple Strudel will be made available that afternoon. 3:00 PM.

Nov. 23: SCIENCE PUB. Not Just Flat! Top Geological Sites of Saskatchewan. Our wildly popular Science Pub Series has returned for a sixth incredible season! Enjoy lectures on scientific topics of general interest in our Arizona Room (main floor banquet room) over beer and snacks. The room opens at 5:00 PM and quite often is full by 6:00 PM. Avoid disappointment and come down early for dinner and a pint before the presentation which begins at 7:00 PM. This month's lecture will be presented by Dr. Janis Dale, Department of Geology, University of Regina.

As you’re probably aware, Take Craft Back has launched the largest crowdfunding campaign of all time, aiming to raise $213 billion to buy Anheuser-Busch InBev. The campaign notes that “it only seems impossible if you really think about it.” Well, my job is to really think about things, so here are some of those thoughts.

First, let’s revisit some of the math. TakeCraftBack.com is luring you in to how easy this is going to be, by noting that it will only take $653.37 per person in the U.S. to reach the goal. Hate to break it to you, but not every American drinks. In fact, of the 21+ population (already down to 232 million people), only about 2/3 of Americans drink. And only 80 percent of those drink beer, so now we’re down to 124 million Americans. The point is, the campaign is going to need closer to $1,717.74 per beer drinker in the U.S., so time to sell a few of your bitcoins, dig deep, and make that pledge of support!

Why is Anheuser-Busch InBev worth so much? Well, according to their filings, AB InBev worldwide made 500 million hectoliters in 2016. That’s 426 million barrels. Now last year, the 5,234 craft brewers made 24.6 million barrels. That’s 4,700 barrels per brewer. If we do the math, that’s what ABI makes every 5 minutes, 48 seconds. Or put differently, Anheuser-Busch InBev is 90,700 times the size of the average craft brewer. That’s the same ratio as an elephant (African Bush, of course) and a red-tailed chipmunk. Coincidentally, as of my writing this, the campaign has just eclipsed $2.5 million in pledges. Turns out, $2.5 million relative to $213 billion is basically the same ratio as that chipmunk to that elephant—so if you’re a campaign supporter, now you know what it’s like to be a craft brewer relative to Anheuser-Busch InBev!

Next, as an economist, I’ve been trained to think about opportunity costs. If you have too, you’re probably thinking, “Sure I’ve got $213 billion lying around and would love to help, but what else can I get instead of a multi-national company worth $213 billion? How big is that really?” Well, if you’re into sports, you might be interested in purchasing every single NFL, MLB, and NBA franchise. Forbes estimates that you could buy them all for the bargain basement price of $167.5 billion. And, you’d have $45.5 billion left over for some pretty sweet tailgates. That’s how big Anheuser-Busch InBev really is.

Alright, what’s next? Maybe pledgers would be more motivated if they knew what they were buying along the way. Well, once we hit $35 million, we could buy the world’s largest hop farm. Your local brewery would probably love to own a share of that. Now that we have some raw materials, let’s get some market access and buy some distribution. ABI owns about 10 percent of its distribution here in the US—I’ll estimate that’s worth $5 billion. Now we’re getting some independent beer on shelves!

So let’s recap what we’ve learned. First, you’re going to need to call some beer-drinker relatives outside the United States and have them pledge. Maybe try someone in Peru, the Dominican Republic, or Colombia. Those are countries where ABI has 97 share of the market or greater. Next, ABI is really big. Like really, really, mind-bogglingly big. Third, it’s no surprise that Anheuser-Busch InBev is taking over all the taps at sports stadiums, since they are worth more than basically all sports teams combined. Finally, ABI owns a lot of things that aren’t beer, but are important to brewers, large and small alike. Only 90,699 chipmunks to go until craft owns it all!

Another fine lineup of six whiskies will be presented at our 29th Single Malt Scotch Tasting event on November 25th. Do you have your tickets?

TIME OUT

- I am very detail-oreinted.

- My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable.

- Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!

- Enclosed is a ruff draft of my resume.

- I am sicking and entry-level position.

- It's best for employers that I not work with people.

- Here are my qualifications for you to overlook.

- I am a quick leaner, dependable, and motivated.

- If this resume doesn't blow your hat off, then please return it in the enclosed envelope.

- My fortune cookie said, "Your next interview will result in a job." And I like your company in particular.

- You hold in your hands the resume of a truly outstanding candidate!

- Insufficient writing skills, thought processes have slowed down some. If I am not one of the best, I will look for another opportunity.