John, Amber, and I were sitting around watching TV the other night. I said, "boot camp looks like it would be tons of fun if you didn't have to join the army afterwards."

John said I was nuts. He could be right. Then he started jawing about how it's awful to wake up at 5am only to get yelled at and run.

I said, that I might enjoy it.

He said I wouldn't.

I said I thought it'd make a great resort idea. Just imagine. 7 day/6night adventure on Paris Island. "You may not feel relaxed afterwards, but you're guaranteed to look better, run faster, and wake up earlier than when you arrived."

He said I was nuts.

I said it'd be worth a try.

He said he'd pay $20 if I'd wake up at 5am every day for a week and run 2 miles.

I said "deal." After all, $20 is enough for two buffets with sweet tea at JB's.

On second thought, maybe that whole bet can wait an extra day or two because it's late, and I'm gonna be too tired in the morning.

Since Luke asked for it, I'll tell the rest of the story, but that'll be the last of it.

So, Johnny and his little Johnboat helped me get off the oysters on Saturday morning. I threw him a rope attached to the main halyard. He tied it to the back of his boat, and pulled me sideways. That's an interesting feeling.

Since I had a lot of studying to do, I put it on the hook very close to where it went aground--only in water that stayed deep enough for the boat to float.

Then I yaked back to a park, loaded up the rockin' kayak into the back of my car, and went home to study.

Monday afternoon, I yaked back to the boat and moved it to it's normal anchoring place. I've gotta admit, I really enjoyed that.

Amber picked me up downtown, and the boat's been good ever since.

I have researched a little about permanent moorings, but it's just not practical for a boat that's only going to be there a few more months at most.

Two things are always both expensive and require constant attention: women, and boats.

Today's saga pertains to the latter, although some things could be discussed about the former on other days.

I know I'm going to pay for that, but everybody knows that good writing requires an interesting beginning. Now, I'll proceed to bore you with the facts as I see them (opinions).

When I got the boat, I spent several hours getting things back into shape. I also wanted to investigate why the boat decided to leave its home. The anchors where still attached, but they were tightly wrapped into all kinds of crap. I drew a picture:Based on the fact that the anchors were fouled beyond use: I deduced that that my Edward Teach was more likely a Pelican than a man.

Now onto the action: I was a little bit surprised when I actually woke up a little after 3am--just as I planned. I drove to a park, then kayaked to "Gone with the Wind." After twenty or thirty minutes of paddling, I could see a dark mast coming out of the water.

Oh no. My heart sunk. Just as my worst fears had predicted, the boat must have starting floating into deeper water when the tide came in, only to flood with water through a previously unnoticed hole in the hull.

Those thoughts lasted only a few seconds, because I soon could discern the entire hull, above water and rocking around. Whew. I started breathing again. And I said to myself, "You silly goober. Just get to the boat, and get the job done."

It was see-sawing back and forth in the water--both good news and bad news. The good news was that it was floating. The bad news is that it was still resting on the keel in the exact place where I left it.

I hopped on board and started to go through to motions of moving the boat to deeper water. I tried every trick I knew to get it off the bottom. I attached one of the sheets to a rope harness and leaned, jumped, and swung out as far as I could, but I couldn't get her to lean far enough over to get off the bottom. She was stuck.

I was already a little wet from the kayak ride, so I jumped into the water and tried pushing her out. But it wouldn't budge.

Finally, I tied a rope to a line running up the mast, walked off to the side and pulled as hard as I could--hoping I could tilt the boat enough to get the keel off, and let her float to safety.

It was close, but it just wasn't enough. I couldn't get her moving, and a full hour and a half had passed, and the tide was on its way out. Since I was cold, I crawled back into the boat, crawled into the cabin, bundled up and grabbed a little sleep. At daylight, I left the boat laying on its side, came home, showered, and went to class.

I have two tests on Thursday, so today will be a boat-free day. My next opportunity will be Saturday morning at from 7 till 8. High tide will be more than 5 feet.

I made it to the boat today... only it's not in a marsh as predicted. It was resting on an oyster bed instead. Each has their ups and downs. The Marsh would have been kinder to the boat. Oyster beds make it easier to walk around.

My biggest fear was that there would be water pooled inside the cabin, but it was bone dry.

I checked for damage on the outside...only a few scratches.

I set some anchors about 150 feet into the water. I hope that the tide will let the boat swing out into the water tonight. I'll probably go out to monitor it's progress and go for an early morning ride. Next I'll move her somewhere a little safer than next to an oyster bed.

A US Army recruiter was hanging around the dental student lounge on the fourth floor of Basic Science building yesterday afternoon.

He walked over to the table where I was sitting with some friends and interrupted our conversation like this:

Excuse me, but my name is Major [whoreallycares]. I stopped by to tell you guys a few things about the Army Health professions program. We're now offering a $60,000 bonus, in-school stipends of $1300 a month, and loan repayment up to $120,000. You'll enter as a captain, and captain's pay is right at $5,000 per month. I'd like to know if I can answer any questions for you guys?

I'll give the guy credit for having a good opening statement.

Translation: We're desperate. This war is so jacked up that we can't even get medical personnel any more. Doubling the sign on bonus has had little effect.

Unfortunately, recruiters tend to lie a little bit. I'm sure everything he mentioned is available... just not to one person. If you get the stipend, then you probably aren't eligible for the bonus etc.

Friend #1: If I join, can I drive one of the tanks when we have a little bit of free time?

Recruiter: Um... no. Medical personnel do not fight.Translation: Are you retarded?

Friend # 2: If I were to sign up, how does the army decide where to send me?Recruiter: We've got bases all of the world. You order your preferences, and they give you whatever is available.Translation: Sign the dotted line so that the Army can own your soul. After that, we'll send you on paid vacations to Iraq, Germany, then North Korea, and worst of all--Kansas.

Then Major [whatever] says to me, "You don't look too interested. What's the matter--you don't like the war?"

Me: Um..

Major [whatever]: Go on, you can say it.

Me: No sir, I don't like the war. Even more than that, I don't like the Army. The last thing I'm here for is to sell my soul so I can listen to somebody tell me what to do, where to live, and what to wear.

Major [whatever]: Well, a lot of people in the Army don't like the war. And your patients are going to be your bosses when you start practicing anyhow.

Me: Yes, but they don't make me wake up at 5am. (And they don't send me to Iraq)Translation: The Army man still needs to up the ante--starting with letting my pick the city from the beginning.

To be honest, the military offers a pretty good deal. Given my current income, the army's salary sounds incredible. The fact that they pay for school is pretty impressive as well.

Three or four years ago dental students were graduating with about $100,000 in school loans. Now the 4 year program costs more like $160,000.

I'm pretty firm on keeping my soul away from the Army, but every now and then it is interesting to think about signing up so I don't have to think about money.

I just watched a video on gogamecocks.com of SS's NSD media conference, and never before has SS looked so happy. He even used words like "cool, flashier, pizazz, excited, best, brag, excellent and super."

I didn't know that Gamechicken football had anything to do with any of those words.

When it comes to recruiting ESPN is like the head cheerleader in high school. When ESPN likes you, everybody likes you. Plenty of flashy Thursday night games didn't seem to hurt recruiting one bit. They even ranked the new recruits 4th in the nation--several spots higher than scouts or rivals.

A breakthru: "It may change Carolina football forever." Beating your in-state rival makes it easier to recruit in-state. "Good things have happened to us since that game."

"They're gettin' into the habit of doing things the right way." Players now actually go to their classes and offseason workouts. Yes, in stark contrast to previous years, Steve praised the work ethic of the current players.

"We're gonna add a little pizzaz to our uniforms" with UnderArmor. Steve also said that the numbers would "flabergast some of you guys." I don't know what that means. Either USC is getting a great deal, or they're about to pay a lot of money for garnet and black spandex shirts.