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Friday Fives – Mike Wallace for President

I think we have discussed this before, but it is schadenfreude. It is a German word that supposedly had no English equivalent. It means to take joy in others pain. It is NOT that I like that idea. I just love the word, and that Germans (of course) invented the word.

If fictional characters were allowed to run for US presidency, who would you vote for and why?

I want someone who is both fearless, and has total integrity. Trump, for example, may be fearless… but I think he has zero integrity. Remember the brilliant Groucho Marx quote about refusing entry to the to famed Friar’s club – “I would not join any organization that would have me as a member!”. God, I love that line.

My point being, anyone who wants it should be disqualified. The kind of ego and hubris you need to think you can run the world likely makes you a narcissistic prick. I want to assign it to someone. Get it? I don’t want anyone to do it who thinks they can do it. You can’t. NO ONE CAN. I imagine this job is about delegation. Ok… focus. Cartoon character. Who is a cartoon character who is fearless and full of integrity. Lemme think… what are the cartoons I love? Simpsons, and South Park.

UPDATE – I just re-read the question. It doesn’t have to be a cartoon character. Isn’t it odd my mind went right there? How about this? Not fictional, but dead… so kinda its. Mike Wallace from 60 Minutes.

What is the most disturbing book that you’ve ever read?

A Severed Head, Iris Murdoch. It was terrible. Maybe the worst book ever written. I am qualified to say that, I have a literature degree. Here is how desperate the book was – remember how the show Weeds routinely jumped the shark after the first couple years? Like, every year they just took everything and threw it out the window. Then, got drunk, and created a wheel of random plot points. Oh, I kept watching… but the show just wandered aimlessly for years. That is how that book went.

You can have sex with one fictional character. Who is it?

Nancy from Weeds. Smart, driven, kind, crazy, and crazy sexy. Don’t click this link if you are at work, or the one above.

What is your favorite place to read a book?

Bathroom, toilet. It’s the only time I really read. Every night before bed. Helps me clear my head.