Useless Old Man Fed Up With Useless Old Legislative BodyBy David S. Broder
Thursday, April 1, 2010

Congress is broken. Partisanship is bad. Partisans are bad. Whatever you think of the thing that this column is ostensibly about, about which I will offer no actual opinion or analysis, you have to agree that it is bad when politicians act like politicians.

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Democrats tell me one thing. Republicans tell me another thing. Which one of them is right? The answer is that they are both bad because they cannot come together to tell me one thing.

Old people in Florida feel like the legislation will just help "other people" and not them, and while that might make it sound like they are old and selfish and probably racist, I will interpret it in an exceedingly generous way while also not pointing out that they're just wrong because they were lied to by one specific group of partisans that I will not hold responsible for poisoning the discourse. Because old people are Regular Americans whose wisdom is always better than the wisdom of partisans. Even when they're wrong and hate poor people.

Then I will write "This is not a selfish country," after two paragraphs about how people were opposed to this legislation because they thought it involved helping poor or black people or something, using their money.

I have apparently no knowledge whatsoever of what the bill that I am writing about does or what it contains. I just know what I hear from partisans and old people and I faithfully report that partisans are bad and old people are good.