Ever wondered who the best Welsh politicians of all time were? What if you could pick them all for a fantasy Cabinet? Political Editor Tomos Livingstone has a go at the ultimate anoraks’ parlour game

THE Scottish broadcaster Kirsty Wark said something that caught my eye in a recent newspaper interview.

“Apparently I’m part of a Scottish mafia,” she said. “It sounds fun, hilarious even, but I don’t have any kind of membership card. You also hear a lot about Welsh and Irish mafias.”

A Welsh mafia is a new one on me, although if it does exist it hasn’t been as successful as its Scottish equivalent in infiltrating the higher reaches of UK politics.

A Scot broods in 10 Downing Street and another is next door at number 11; there are also Scots at the MoD and the Department for International development. Just one Welshman, Paul Murphy, sits around the Cabinet table.

Yet this isn’t as a result of a lack of talent; down the ages, Wales has produced statesmen and women able to grace the highest offices in the land.

So in the spirit of inquiry – and fun – I started to wonder what the UK would look like if it really were run by a Welsh mafia.

Allowing for a little flexibility with time and space, and assuming that the Assembly Cabinet in Cardiff Bay is already well-provided with Welshness, perhaps the fantasy Westminster Cabinet would look a little like the one I’ve set on these pages.

Some of them wouldn’t get on with each other, and some are so talkative their colleagues may not get a word in edgeways. Policy might be a mess, with so many conflicting views, and goodness knows what would happen come election time.

Still, this lot would keep political journalists busy, and that’s something that shouldn’t be overlooked. Here’s my tongue- in-cheek selection:

Prime Minister - David Lloyd George

AS Gordon Brown is discovering, no amount of political experience prepares you for being Prime Minister, so I’m choosing the only Welshman to make it to 10 Downing Street to head my fantasy Cabinet.

A flamboyant Chancellor, his “People’s Budget” in 1909 introduced old age pensions and unemployment benefits, prompting a showdown with the House of Lords. His victory in that scrap established a convention that the Commons holds the real power at Westminster.

Would his complex personal life – he eventually married his mistress when he was 80 – survive the modern tabloid glare? Perhaps not, but his record makes him worth the risk.

Chancellor of the Exchequer - Aneurin Bevan

YOU can’t imagine Aneurin Bevan getting into a political row over scrapping the 10p tax band, still less bailing out the banks.

The firebrand socialist would have brought a touch of excitement to the Treasury, and would have loved the opportunity to put his principles into action if he got his hands on the purse strings.

Government is often bedeviled by disagreements between Prime Minister and Chancellor, but perhaps the founder of the NHS would get on with the man who set the foundations for the welfare state better than either would admit.

Leader of the House - Rhodri Morgan

THE perfect job for the First Minister – for this portfolio more than any other requires someone who has a way with words.

The Leader of the House must pilot the Government’s business through parliament, but also take questions from MPs on almost any matter: perfect for politicians with a talent for knockabout.

Would he enjoy this chance to make up for the disappointment of not getting a Government job in 1997? Do one-legged ducks swim in a circle?

Home Secretary - Neil Kinnock

WHO better to sort out the Asbo generation than the man who took on the Militant Tendency and won?

The leader of Labour from 1983 to 1992 would bring a harder edge to our Cabinet line-up, although his reputation for long-windedness might make meetings over-run – already a risk given former flatmate Rhodri Morgan is also present.

And given that the Home Office is, notoriously, not fit for purpose, who better to sort things out than the man who made Labour electable again?

Secretary of State for Justice - Hywel Dda

AS the man who first codified a set of laws, this 10th century king would be well placed to ensure justice is properly dispensed. His laws established the legal status of women and children, a distinction not enjoyed elsewhere in Europe.

His reputation has enjoyed something of a renaissance in recent years, lending his name to the Assembly building and to a new NHS Trust in West Wales.

He even managed something that has eluded many Welsh politicians since – a peace deal with England.

Secretary of State for Defence - Owain Glyndwr

THIS well-to-do noble led a long-running but unsuccessful rebellion against English rule, enough to secure iconic status for centuries to come.

In 1400 he rose up against Henry IV and proclaimed Prince of Wales. Much of Wales was briefly under his control, and although English rule was restored by around 1409. Owain was last seen around 1412 and was never captured.

Some historians think he was an early exponent of guerrilla warfare, which should make for an interesting relationship with the chiefs of the general staff.

Secretary of State for Transport - Michael Foot

LIKE one or two others on this list, he was born outside Wales, but the former Labour leader and MP for Ebbw Vale is certainly an adopted Welshman. A campaigner for left-wing causes, he is perhaps less well-known for being the man behind the Health & Safety at Work Act, one of the most radical changes in employment relations introduced since World War II.

I wouldn’t let him anywhere near this Cabinet’s manifesto come election time though; his 1983 effort for Labour was memorably described as “the longest suicide note in history”.

Secretary of State for Education - Robert Owen

A UTOPIAN socialist, this important thinker from Montgomeryshire was one of the founders of the co-operative movement and can lay claim to be one of the forerunners of trade unionism and stakeholder capitalism. A haberdasher and draper, he later owned a cotton mill and put some of his ideas into practice with the establishment of model communities in Scotland and the United States.

A strong believer in the moral value of education – hence being given this portfolio – his legacy remains very much alive today.

Secratary of State for Health - John Frost

THE Chartist leader led the campaign for universal suffrage that was violently suppressed in Newport in 1839.

Frost was tried and deported to Australia, eventually returning home as an old man; his movement faltered but hisideals have lived on, and many of his demands are now basic principles of our democracy.

He remains influential enough to have provoked a recent row between National Assembly coalition partners Plaid Cymru and Labour over who has the greater claim to his legacy.

Secretary of State for Work and Pensions - Jim Griffiths

THE Llanelli MP became the first ever Secretary of State for Wales in 1964, but I’d put him at the DWP. He was the man who introduced child benefit, serving as a Minister in Attlee’s post-war administration.

So who better to get to grips with Britain’s £12bn benefits bill and get the long-term unemployed back to work?

Secretary of State for International Development - Roy Jenkins

ANEURIN BEVAN once chided a colleague who remarked that Jenkins was lazy. Nobody who came from Abersychan and spoke in those plummy tones could be described as lazy, Bevan said.

A former Labour Home Secretary and Chancellor, Jenkins founded the new SDP in 1981, something he would enjoy discussing with Kinnock, Foot and Griffiths – although as International Development Secretary he’d be out of harm’s way most of the time.

Jenkins would bring some significant Ministerial experience to our team.

Chief Whip - Jemima Niclas

TROUBLESOME backbenchers threatening to vote against the Government? Some of them think they know better than this fine line-up of Ministers?

Who better to be the chief whip, any Government’s Westminster enforcer, than the woman who repelled the last attempted invasion of Britain in 1797 – by the French, near Fishguard.

Jemima persuaded local women to dress in red and black, fooling the French into thinking they were soldiers – showing a degree of cunning that would make her an ideal whip.

Secretary of State for the Nations and Regions - Tom Ellis

A LIBERAL Party MP, he is best remembered for his call in 1890 for a Welsh parliament and the foundation of a national movement, Cymru Fydd.

His ideas were taken up by Lloyd George, and although the call for Welsh Home Rule eventually fizzled out, Ellis’ movement is widely seen as a forerunner of Plaid Cymru and of the calls for devolution more than a century later.

His appointment to this job – which lumps together some existing departments – would allow him an over-watch role over a devolved United Kingdom.

Secretary of State for Culture Media and Sport - Gwynfor Evans

PLAID CYMRU’S first ever MP and the man who turned Welsh nationalism from a protest movement into a political force.

That was achievement enough in itself, but Gwynfor Evans can also claim to have taken on Margaret Thatcher and won – something some his colleagues in this fantasy Cabinet would love to be able to boast.

It was he who threatened to go on hunger strike to hold the Iron Lady to her promise of setting up a Welsh-language TV channel – and she did.

At the DCMS he could oversee his beloved S4C – and maybe keep the Olympics budget under control, too.

Secretary of State for the Environment, Food and Rural Affairs - Wyn Roberts

THIS Cabinet needs a bit more political balance, so I’ve included the former Wales Office Minister and Conservative MP Wyn Roberts, now Lord Roberts of Conwy.

A serious enough figure to hold his own with the left-wingers who’ll be sitting around the table with him, Lord Roberts represents an often-forgotten Tory tradition in Wales. And he is credited with persuading the Major administration of the need for a Welsh Language Act – enough to cement his place in Welsh political history.

Secretary of State for the Cabinet Office and Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster - Leo Abse

THIS great opponent of Welsh Labour devolution could have a few amiable chats around the Cabinet table with Gwynfor Evans and Owain Glyndr.

The MP for Pontypool was the man who piloted through the Commons the private members’ Bill that made homosexuality legal and produced a lasting social change.

And the author of books like Fellatio, Masochism, Politics and Love would ensure Cabinet sub-committees would never be anything other than colourful.