Movie review : Jonah Hex

What can I say? Jonah Hex isn’t the worst movie I’ve ever seen – that would be Ultra Violate. The production values didn’t suck. The acting was okay for a comic book based movie . . . I’m trying to think of all the good things I can. Oh, most importantly we get to see a sweaty, scantily clad, Megan Fox in a few scenes. That’s got to be worth at least . . . well, I’ll let you decide.

So this movie wasn’t the complete suck-fest that I was expecting. But it wasn’t very good either. The story telling is very heavy handed. The action scenes are rather ordinary. Fortunately the movie is very short. It’s only 80 minutes long and if you take out the 8 or 9 minutes that the credits run then you’re looking at a movie that is just over an hour long. If they had gone on and on it might have been worse. That said I’m sure some people might like this movie.

One big disappointment is how little they used John Malkovich. I think the director probably told him, “Hey, don’t shower for a week and then show up for an afternoon’s worth of shooting. That’s about all we need you for.” Crap, one of Malkovich’s henchmen had just as much screen time as he did.