Relationship Advice???
My students say that I am very personable and approachable. They feel as if they can talk to me about anything. One student asked if they could talk to me and I said of course. She began to tell me about this boy that she really liked and began asking me for relationship advice. I didn't feel comfortable talking to her because I thought it would be me getting too personal with a student. Is this wrong to talk to our students about things outside of the school?

I believe it is alright to talk to students about certain things outside of school. I would be willing to give relationship advice to a student as long as it was school appropriate and didn't include much detail. I would include sayings such as, "follow your heart" or "do what you think is best". I would not give my opinion about the specific situation but the topic as a whole.I would be willing to listen.

I think it is great to talk to students about their lives outside of the school. Our classroom is a family unit and we should be able to share about our lives. Also, this child or another student might one day need to tell you something that they can not tell anyone else. I think its great what you do.

I think that it depends on the situation. Sometimes students just need to hear that certain relationship issues/feelings are normal, and you may be able to provide appropriate examples from your life (I went through that too, with time you will get over it, relationships are complicated, etc). If the matter is more intense than you feel comfortable discussing, you may want to urge the student to seek the guidance counselor for discussions and advice. Overall, our students need to know that they can speak to us and rely on us when needed.

I have been perceived as being approachable and personable as well amongst my students. With that being said, I think it is important to understand which advice is too personal and which advice is professionally appropriate. For example, I had a student approach me with the same intent. I wasn't sure how to respond, but I felt it significant to advise the student to stay focused on her learning and school and that relationships will come at later time. I feel that it is important to redirect the student back to their education each and every time.

I would tell them that I can always listen to your stories, but with my job, sometimes I can answer and help you but sometimes I cannot. Listen to the problem but use your judgement concerning if you can answer or help.

It is great that you have a good relationship with your students, but I think that you are right to be worried about crossing the line between teacher and friend. If a student starts to talk to you asking for relationship advice, I would tell the student that I was glad they were comfortable talking to me, but I am not the best source of advice and that they should talk to their parents or an older sibling. There is a way to diffuse the situation without making the student feel hurt.

I think it would be totally ok! Just remind her that you may not always have the answer for her or the one she wants to hear. This is making yourself approachable to your students and of course you want them to come to you with their problems, being able to help or not at least you can listen.

It's important for students to feel comfortable to come and speak with you about whatever they need to. When it comes to things outside of school, maybe you could play more of a role of a listener than the speaker. Have the student speak about what they feel while you listen. If the student asks you specifically what you think, you could direct them towards doing whatever they feel in their heart is right.

I would stay away from those types of conversation and strictly keep it professional. I would redirect her to her parents or the school counselor for advice. After all, it is not your child, you are only there to do one thing and one thing only - teach!