This Man Really Doesn't Want To Get Married

You know how some guys seem really hesitant to get married? Maybe they're suffering from commitment-phobia, or perhaps they think that putting a ring-a-ding on it will steal their youth. There are at least as many reasons for cold feet as there are common-law married couples. I'm not sure if you've seen this video, but this gentleman's feet were approaching absolute zero. Please watch this:

Yes. Wow. I believe that "gone absconding" will now be featured regularly in this blog. If you're having trouble with the video, let me give you a breakdown: A couple dated for 10 years. The man briefly kidnapped the woman but returned her the next day. The man then took off (henceforth to be known as "gone absconding"), and was spotted later by local youths who roughed him up and took him to the police station. Johnny Law made him promise that he'd marry the woman, after which he reneged and again was "gone absconding." He was spotted (again) and dragged (literally) to a wedding ceremony. The bride appears ecstatic in this video, while the man looks like a little kid being dragged to the dentist. Is A Shotgun Wedding Right For You?

A few more observations:

Don't we usually just write "Help Me" on the bottom of the groom's shoes, have a guffaw and call it a day?

Is it a little weird that the bride was so happy when the groom was such a little waa-waa baby?

Wouldn't you think that a florist would be more amenable to marriage? It's like a brewmeister who doesn't like 21st birthday parties.

Doesn't this bozo realize that his wife is going to keep looking good? She and her mom are virtual twins.

Since they're not really into guns on the sub-continent, what do they call a shotgun wedding?