‘True Blood’ Recap: Sookie Discovers Her Real Identity

So many secrets were revealed in Sunday’s episode of ‘True Blood.’ We learned what Sookie really is — and everybody else, too. No one is all human, even if everyone is all too human. There is more unintentional resonance with real life events. Everyone is tripping and flashing back this episode, and only two of them are using V.

Sookie Learns Her True Nature… And Proclaims It Lame

Bill breaks the news. Sookie is a… fairy. She proclaims that lame, which is a good way of summing up Sookie this season. He explains that one of her ancestors had possibly non-consensual sex with a fairy. This is definitely not the Disney universe. Legend has it that fairies were rendered extinct by vampires because they find their blood delectable and intoxicating. Bill admits he does find Sookie magically delicious. He swears he likes her as a person not just for her blood.

Eric announces he, too, knows what Sookie is. He wants to know if her blood will let vampires walk in the sunlight. Bill says the power only lasts a few minutes. Sookie dreams that Eric kisses her and tells her not to trust Bill. In real life, Sookie visits him at the strip club. He says if he dies without saying goodbye to her it will be his biggest regret. He kisses her for real, and they’re way hotter, IMHO, than Sookie and Bill. Pam suggests he find a way to use Sookie to save himself from Russell. So Eric locks Sookie up in the basement. His true nature is, after all, that of a vengeful, amoral survivor.

This Would Be A Really Bad Time For Vampires To Build A Community Center In Manhattan

The media has dubbed Russell a “vampire terrorist.” On TV, Nan says he is just a sick individual, not a vampire, and it would be unfair to judge all other vampires by him. It is impossible not to watch this scene without thinking of spokespeople for American Muslim organizations patiently explaining to news anchors that they have nothing to do with Osama Bin Laden. It’s timely given the current controversy surrounding the building of a mosque in lower Manhattan. Maybe Alan Ball has a mole at Fox news.

Russell picks up a male hooker, Tony, who is played by Michael Steger, who some may know as ’90210′s’ resident nerd, Navid. Apparently, Tony does not watch the news, because he agrees to go to bed with Russell despite noticing that he is carrying Talbot’s goop in a jar. Russell calls him Talbot, says he hates that he wasn’t around for Talbot’s death, then plunges a stake into poor Tony the hustler’s heart. Everyone thinks Russell is a terrorist, but really he is a grieving widower. A violent, evil, grieving widower.

Gay Trippin’

Lafayette and Jesus treat Crystal’s white trash Dad with vampire blood. It heals him. He wakes up and slaps Crystal for letting gay people put fanger blood in him. Worst patient ever! He lectures her that it is her duty to mate with Felton and keep his bloodline going, confirming she is not human. She flees. The previously anti-drug Jesus is now intrigued and wants to try V. They have a crazy trip together, where Lafayete’s shrine seems to come to life. They have a vision of Jesus’s grandmother who could cure fertility problems with eggs. Lafayette sees his great great grandparents who were conjurers. Jesus’s grandfather practiced “black arts” and is creepy as hell. So Jesus comes from a line of healers, while Lafayette’s family may be witches.

Jason’s True Identity: Bumbling Protector

Tara orders Jason to bury the goop that used to be Franklin. Bill and Sookie ask Jason to put Sookie up, while she hides from the werewolves. Tara tells her friend that she hates all vampires, including Bill, revealing that Bill did nothing to save her from Franklin. Jason confides to Sookie that he killed Eggs — another long hidden secret exposed. He tries to break the news to Tara, but she is too busy thanking him for saving her. She kisses him, then pulls away, saying she’s a mess. He blurts out that he killed Eggs. She runs, horrified that her protector is actually a killer.

Bill is angry that Jason let Sookie leave his house to visit Eric. So Jason revokes Bill’s invitation to enter his house. Jason finds a panther waiting for him upstairs. It’s Crystal, who shapeshifts back to human form introduces herself to him: she is a white trash werepanther.

Vampire Lovers And Haters

It’s no surprise that Russell’s on camera spinal surgery has pushed Arlene’s firmly into the anti-vampire camp. Jessica and Arlene get into a fight when Arlene makes anti-vampire slurs. Tommy thinks Jessica’s fangs are hot. Summer offers to sleep with Hoyt to help him forget about Jessica. Someone burns a cross on Bill and Jessica’s lawn. Bill counsels her not to react. Hoyt tells Jessica he wants her back. Tommy shapeshifts into a pit bill and attacks him. Jessica comes to the rescue, throwing Pit Bull Tommy out of the way and ordering Hoyt to drink her blood to heal himself.

Arlene finally tells Terry the truth: Rene is the father of her baby. She thinks it will be evil and wants to get rid of it. So that’s yet another character — this one unborn — whose true nature is revealed this episode. Terry vows to raise it as his own and marry her. So Arlene asks Holly how to undo her pregnancy.

Sam’s Lost Truth

It turns out that Sam’s got a whole secret past that is a Sawyer episode of ‘Lost.’ Seriously. Sam drinks and flashes back to 2003. He is wearing a suit. He gives a blonde stolen jewelry and talks about his dream of running a bar. Her boyfriend puts a gun to his neck and steals all the jewels.

In the present, Sam shows up for work hungover. Holly offers him black kohash and comes out as a wiccan. So now we know what she is, too: a witch. Sam remembers using his shapeshifting powers to launch a surprise attack and get his jewels back. He kills both his lover and her boyfriend. I wonder what this has to do with the Dharma Initiative.

Quotes

Sookie: “I’m a fairy. How f—–ng lame.” — Sookie reacts to Bill’s news about her heritage.

“Them f—ers is a whole new dimension of trash.” – Lafayette on Crystal’s bigoted family