Why So Serious?

I recently read an article that quoted recent study findings that over 40 percent of U.S. women will have a sexual dysfunction some time in their life. That made me curious, as that number seems tremendous! So, I googled the percentage of men that suffer from erectile dysfunction and do you know what percentage I found? The overall percentage of men suffering from erectile dysfunction in the U.S. is 18 percent.Only 18 percent?

I assumed that it would be at least 50 percent or more considering the number of E.D. commercials that “pop up” while watching a little late night television. No pun intended there. O.K, maybe just a little pun was intended! The commercials always seem so generic and billowy. No man I know thinks of cozy hot baths and walks through a meadow when he’s got lovin’ on his mind. I’m just saying. Why are there no marketing campaigns to help women with their sexual short comings? I’ll tell you why. Because men insist on a sex life, while women resist having one. At least that’s what societal politeness would have you believe.

The drug companies subliminally market their products to women. I mean come on, do you really think when a man is in the mood to have a hard on his mind is thinking of a four poster bed appearing in a field of poppies like something out of a Harlequin Romance? The drug companies know that’s what women would want their men to be thinking of so they market to their girlfriends and wives hoping to get them in the mood as well. Women have been conditioned to believe sexual satisfaction has everything to do with romance and nothing to do with physical satisfaction, whether it be self satisfying or with a partner. Because that is what has been shoved down our throats for years it is paramount to anything else we might be trying to accomplish or convey in our sexual life. A woman who talks about or discusses sex out loud is considered either rude, graphic or Samantha from Sex in the City. I still find, these days, that women are “supposed” to feel uncomfortable about discussing, reading or confessing to having a sexual appetite. Even women who are married and have children sometimes have a hard time discussing these things or feel uncomfortable around someone who does. You know what they say about women with kids? They put out!

It’s acceptable and even expected of a man to want, need and crave sex. If he doesn’t people wonder if he’s virile and lacking in the testosterone department. If the same holds true of a woman however, she must somehow keep those feelings to herself, ergo someone might think that she’s crazed for actually being horny and just needing a good release because she’s had a bad day! They referred to it in Victorian times as Hysteria (can’t wait for the release of the new movie by the way). The man must be the boisterous hunter and the woman must be the quiet gatherer of the fruits and berries. What she does with those berries in the bush must be kept on the down low, if you get what I mean.

Another interesting fact from the article I read was that a placebo pill was given to a group of women who claimed to have sexual dysfunction or personal sexual dissatisfaction. The pill was nothing more than a sugar pill, but 35 percent of the women treated for dysfunction had a significant positive change to their dysfunction. 60 percent of women given the placebo went on to have satisfying sexual encounters. You know what that tells me? That women want to have just as healthy, happy and a satisfying sex life as much as our counter parts do, but the majority of women just need permission to do it. Women have somehow come to believe that if you are a mom, a wife, a woman of the community or whatever other title she may bare, that she cannot admit to wanting to feel satisfied in the bedroom. Why is that?

We talk about it quietly with our friends, we secretly look at or order sex toys to be discreetly delivered or we just suffer in silence. 60 percent of these test subjects just needed a sugar pill, thereby given permission, to get off. Why is the subject of sex so serious for us ladies? If you are dating you’ve probably done it. If you are married you are more than likely doing it. And, if you are a mother you are totally busted! Sex is not any different from any other bodily function, but it can be a lot more fun than say, brushing your teeth.

This is just me saying don’t wait for someone else to give you permission. Make your own magic sugar pill if you are feeling that you need to have a sexual encounter. That doesn’t mean that you have to partake in a little stranger danger if you are not in a relationship. Read some erotica, find that special massager that makes you feel good or rethink what you use those jets in the bathtub for. Laugh a little, love a little and learn to get off guilt free.Relax, release and don’t take everything so seriously!

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Angel Maynard is the founder of RedPill Productions. She is a writer and producer whose work has been showcased at The New York Television Festival as well as California's Indie Fest. She writes a weekly blog at www.redpill-productions.com called "Sexy Mama". She also produces an independent series called "Sex Culture", the study of sex and sexuality across the globe. She is married and has two sons. Contact Angel at angel.redpillproductions@gmail.com.