5 Ways Your Marriage Is Killing You

If your union is unhappy, it may be hurting your health.

All marriages have their ups and downs. Seriously, who hasn't argued over socks left on the floor or whose turn it really is to change the baby's diaper? (We've definitely been there.) But like any relationship, the more toxic it is, the worse it is for your well-being. "Research has shown that when you're married you live longer, but in an unhappy marriage the exact opposite happens," says Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo, clinical psychologist, physical therapist, and best-selling author of the upcoming book Better Than Perfect.

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Not sure if matrimony stress is bringing you down? Here are the signs to look out for.

1. Lack of communication
Not talking through your issues with your partner can cause everything from headaches and muscle tension to anxiety and depression. Even scarier, women tend to "self-medicate through alcohol and drugs to deal with the stress of a relationship," says Rachel DeAlto, a national relationship expert and coach based in New Jersey. "They end up taking on these habits that are very physically damaging to them because that's how they are coping with their stress."

2. Frequent fighting
An occasional tiff is one thing, but big blowouts every day can increase your risk for heart problems. In a study published in The Journal of the American Medical Association, researchers found that of 300 women who were hospitalized for severe chest paints or heart attack, those who reported high levels of marital stress were nearly three times as likely to suffer another heart attack or require a bypass.

Another downside to constant bickering? You're more likely to develop high blood pressure, blood sugar, and cholesterol (a.k.a. metabolic syndrome), which can boost your risk of heart disease, stroke, and type 2 diabetes.

3. Forgetting to take care of yourself
Putting your partner's needs before your own — we've all been there. But research has shown that taking time out for something as simple as an occasional massage can dramatically reduce stress and anxiety. Study participants also became less hostile, which decreases the chances of a heart attack. "[Women] think they are being nurturing, but that has a limit before it's no longer healthy," warns DeAlto.

4. Sleep deprivation
Whether it's snoring or hogging the covers, it's a big deal if your partner's keeping you from having a good night's rest. According to Lombardo, continued lack of sleep "will have health implications down the line," like depression, anxiety, increased risk for cardiovascular disease, and even higher mortality reates.

5. Eating too much
According to a study published in the US National Library of Medicine National Institutes of Health, marriage raises the risk of women becoming overweight by 3.9%, as opposed to their peers who are not married. But weight gain isn't just reserved for women: Men face a 6.1% increased risk of becoming overweight, and a 3.3% increased risk for obesity. "If your partner eats poorly, you might also eat poorly," explains Lombardo.

The good news: If you're in a happy marriage, you'll reap some important health benefits including living longer, less stress, and stronger bones.