"Hypnotize"

"Hypnotize"

The Lyrics

What can I say, I love taking the title of a song literally and making a parody out of it. The "look into my eyes" bit taken from Little Britain, BTW.

Hah, not your average entertainerI'm good as those stand-up bitches, think they're so hipNot hatin', them I'm respectin'It's the comparisons, get me pissedI'm John, call me Hypnot, guess what I do, what?Hypnotist, dude, I'll mess around with youYou will lose, to my smooth moves, not voodooWon't cost you big bucks, if you show upTo my show, bub, wanna see stuff? Pay up!10 bucks, pay more for foodstuffsYou don't believe this junk, tell you whatYou'll get in free if you don't believe meAfter you've seen me do my thing, mind screwingBut you will stop you frontin' if it's convincin'Now that I've said my piece, I say "Peace!"The next show starts at three, and my peepsPhonin', askin' where I'm at, we gotta set up our shitHere's the address, Mick, please don't miss

Hurry, hurry, hurry, come and seeSoon you will say "Please hypnotize me!"You think it's old-hat, but I sayCome and check it out, you'll be amazed

Hurry, hurry, hurry, come and seeSoon you will say "Please hypnotize me!"You think it's bullcrap, but I sayCome and check it out, it's on today

Okay people, sit down, cuz the show will start nowA volunteer, please, yes you, the hip teenHot Topic clothes, no, not judgin', noNow let's do this, don't need gold discs or swirly thingsThat's stuff's for the newbies, I don't need that pointless shitI've got my own tricks, it won't take a tickJust a minute, need to warm up my handsNow we'll start, Stan, I hope that's your name, manIt's Matt? Sorry, man, that's my badNow: a little thing that I have to askSo Matt: I need you to look straight into my eyesIn the eyes, not 'round the eyes, just look into my eyesSnap my fingers, now you're underI command you to do wondrousThings that you'd never do under your powerGive us the hist'ry of the Eiffel TowerShower, you're smelly, why are teens so filthy3, 2, 1, snap it, you are back in the room, buddy

Ev'rybody's clappin', now they seeI have the pow'r to hypnotize peepsDon't need to play some flashy gamesLike swing a gold coin, cuz that's just lame

Ev'rybody's askin', so loudly"Hypnot, would you please hypnotize me?"I'll bet that Mick's in quite a dazeShould've made my bet for him to pay

Johnny Johnny Johnny, this is sweetNever would've though to do that, I'm freakedCan't help but love your lazy waysGuess that's why I'm broke, and you're so paid

Johnny Johnny Johnny, this is sweetNever would've though to do that, I'm freakedBut I must ask this, anyway:What happens when the hour's over, do say?

Buddy buddy buddy, don't you freakDone this for years, it's sorted out, see?I left a sign out on the stageThat says "Thanks for watching, door's that way!"

Johnny Johnny Johnny, that is sweetNever would've though to do that, I'm freakedBut I must ask this, anyway:How will you make this spell end, do say?

Buddy buddy buddy, don't you freakDone this for years, it's sorted out, see?Pre-recorded message will boom"3, 2, 1" a snap "You're in the room"

Twist also nicked from Little Britain (minus the weed, which I'm using as an excuse for the "do say" grammatical eff-up). The "gold disc" is my brain combining the standard swinging stopwatch on a string with the gold Pokemon Hypno.

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Pacing:

4.0

How Funny:

4.2

Overall Rating:

4.2

Total Votes:

5

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User Comments

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(ABC) When I started reading, I thought I was not going to like it. Then, about midway through, I got woosey, closed my eyes, and then, when I opened them, i felt compelled to vote FIVES...and dance like a chicken...LOL

Good twist on the original song. Like I said before I'm a pretty big Notorious BIG fan. I might have missed out on this round but I sure don't want to miss out on this parody. True, There are a few things that could have been a little clearer but it's a highly original topic to a very tough song.

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