Novocaine abuse

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The street value of novocaine just goes up and up as teens flock to this drug in search of non-sensation. I hear they inject it into their tongues and then can't speak, eat or drink for hours at a time. The slang term is "choking on an eel". Others inject it into their faces, and then pretend they got a Botox treatment.

My informants now tell me that the newest novocaine rage is to score enough of it to deaden one entire arm each on two combatants, then to have a Mexican Death Match between them, by tying their lively arms together and letting them wildly flop their deadened arms at each other's heads until a knockout blow is struck. Sorta like Fight Club, only it isn't a club or anything like that.

There are some funny salvia stories. People exit the universe as a billion points of pure energy then relive their entire childhood except it is set in the 1800s and they are actually a chair in someone's attic somewhere in Italy.

Sage is a hardworking, well-known, utilitarian herb. The many shades of culinary sage appear regularly in gourmet magazines, gracing bottles of vinegar and platters of turkey.

Say Salvia, though, and many times a blank stare comes your way. Or, the conversation turns from cooking to landscaping where visions of tubular red flowers hypnotic to hummingbirds take center stage.

In truth, all SAGES are SALVIAS. Over time, though, the term sage has been closely aligned with cooking or medicinal use and the term salvia has been given to the more ornamental members of this genus. Nevertheless, Salvia is the Latin name, or Genus, given to all these plants. So, while the everyday common nickname may be Tricolor Garden Sage, its real name will always be Salvia officinalis Tricolor.

My own informants had this to say about this new sport which is said to be the latest rage in the US.

Informant #1: Man they are crazy! I wouldn't be shocked if it is real.

Informant #2: I've never heard of this. But it wouldn't surprise me. In my city, the police had to shut down an illegal "naked women's basketball" league. Once I read about that, I concluded that any kind of sport is potentially being played in the US

I personally have 2 bottles of powdered novocaine in my posession. I acctually got it for free from a friend who stole it from a dentist in my town. He didn't know what to do with it so he gave it to me. Ive tried snorting it and all it does is make your throat go numb. Today i tried smoking it in a lightbulb like meth and crack, and it made me feel real loopy and my throat, tongue, and face went numb. Its not as sweet as everyone says. Injecting it is pointless. All it does is make a small area of your body numb. And it hurts like hell after you snort it. Your whole head just sort of throbs.