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Canned Soup 6/28/13

by
Shannon Lucas
Fri., Jun. 28, 2013 3:12 PM PDT

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Here at The Soup, we burn through lots of bad television on a daily basis to give you, the viewer, nothing but the best of the worst. Given the volume of truly godawful gems we unearth every week, some of our favorite clips inevitably end up on the cutting room floor. Whether we trim for time or because a particular clip just doesn't fit in with the context of the show, we often have to relinquish clips that we've grown quite attached to.

So we thought, "Hey, we have an Internet. We have some clips. Let's get 'em together and see what happens."

Thus our new feature, Canned Soup, a place for second chances. For this week, we have three different clips on offer, that we thought were deserving of another go-round.

We'll start things off with a man who needs no introduction. Which begs the question, "Why are we bothering with an introduction?" Figure of speech. Greg Kelly, of Good Day NY fame, is a veritable wellspring of priceless soundbytes. Basically, he feeds our kids. He's also the undefeated champion of unintentionally insulting segues.

We're not even sure what you implied there Greg but we're pretty confident that you don't either.

Speaking of awkward interactions, Donald Sutherland is creeping us out again. The acclaimed actor lends his quiet brand of gravitas to NBC's Crossing Lines and, though the actor's skills are still well-honed, we think he may need to go back and review the basics a bit.

Nothing says 'compelling drama' like a drawn-out, fumbling handshake, concluded with the faintest whiff of bizarre sexual tension. You skeeved us out pretty good this time Donald. Mind you, that's not a complaint.

Finally, we turn to Holly Maniatty, the certified sign language interpreter who's really committed to her job. During a recent performance by Wu Tang Clan at Bonaroo, Holly used both her talent and enthusiasm to convey the full meaning of Wu Tang's Da Mystery of Chessboxin.

RZA needs to tell Tarantino about this gesticulating dynamo. More than any meandering 20 minute conversation, 20 minutes of snappy signed dialogue would really make the abrupt and gratuitous violence achieve full effect.

That's it for this week but there's plenty more where that came from. Trust us; there's always more. Endlessly. Unceasingly...

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