Stringing Us Along

‘HAVING located Tony Blair, the Mail cannot now take its eyes from him.

Is your G-string too tight or do you always grin like that?

And we cant help but think this is what Tony wants. Having disappeared for a while, did he perhaps suddenly realise that he was in danger of being forgotten?

Tony was gone and the world was still turning. Birds were in the sky. And John Prescott had cut through the sham and taught us that to be Prime Minister is not all that hard. In fact, we should follow the Italian political method and give everyone a go at being leader.

So Tony came out of hiding. And now hes back among the living, albeit those living in Barbados, or Blairbados (Mail), hes keen to remind us just how terrific he is.

So here he is dressed in a pink shirt (or perhaps hes topless?), sunglasses perched on his head and holding a ukulele.

The Sun says sunkissed Cherie clapped and took photos while the PM…sang from a sheet of handwritten lyrics.

Back in the Mail, we hear from George Hinchliffe, director of the Ukulele Orchestra of Britain, who says the instrument is a fine choice.

Its the ideal instrument to take on holiday, says he, over looking the merits of a grand piano or tambourine. We like to think of the instrument as the instrument of the people…so maybe Tony Blair is playing up to his Everyman image by being seen with one.

Perhaps. But if he is playing up, what tune is he playing? Anther rendition of When Im 64? Or what about a reggae version of Things Can Only Get Better?

No. It must be Summer Holiday, by Sir Cliff Richard, the songster in whose Barbados villa Tony once holidayed.

Take it away, Tony: Were all going on a freebie holiday, no more scheming for a week or two. Fun and grinning on our summer holiday, no more worries for me or you, for a week or two…or at last until Im back…’