The Terminology of “True Love”

The term “True Love”, I have noticed, is becoming less popular and newer terms have replaced it in their accompanying fandoms. These are the more common terms that I have noticed whilst lurking around fanfiction.net.

Term: Bonded (By magic)

Fandom: Harry Potter, or anything with magic really

Explanation: This refers to the idea that bonded couples have more passion, more connections and are more in love then a normal couple. The bonding process is usually always when the two make eye contact for the first time or come into age (that varies) or by some magical object that by coincidence connects the author’s favorite couple.

For example, Harry and Ginny, where the connection was by contact of Harry’s Parent’s engagement rings. The rings became stuck on their fingers and thus the relationship was born. Of course, because it is a magical connection, they can communicate telepathically, sense each others emotions, and become stronger.

Term: Mated

Fandom: Dragon Ball

Explanation: For the DBZ fans, the term mated refers to when a saiyan or demi-saiyan falls in love with someone, species irrelevant. It is a more primal and deeper form of love that is for life and happens through blood or sex, sometimes both.

This is where Vegeta becomes the expert of all things relating to this (signs, controllability, triggers ect) and informs (Gohan, Goten, Trunks, Pan, Bra, or any original characters) of why they are suddenly acting weird.

Term: The passion for freedom

Fandom: Pirates of the Caribbean

Explanation: On any page on fanfiction.net in the pirates section, you will see the word freedom at least ten times. It’s basically a term to link the romantics of the story together e.g. Jack and Elisabeth who otherwise never really be together.

Term: Fated through time and space

Fandom: Any Sci-Fi

Explanation: A very unlikely event triggering the connection of two specific people.

Term: The similar innocence and love for chocolate

Fandom: Charlie and the Chocolate factory

Explanation: The one fandom where it is seen as bad to be jaded. It is basically like the POTC connection. The similarity of interests causing romance, that would never occur in real life.

Myths created by the fanfiction masses

Case Study: Harry Potter

These are descriptions of the most common types of Original Character, Mary sues or otherwise, that occur within Harry Potter fanfiction. Regular readers will recognize them and writers should avoid them. Some of the rule may apply to cannon characters, but only if they are out of character.

Enjoy J

Physical descriptions:

Hair

Colour: Out of the many colours that hair comes in, only a few shades can be described in a few words and even less then that is used to describe hair in fanfiction. They include Black, raven, red head, amber, dark brown, light brown, blond, platinum and dirty blond not including small variations in the group. Silky black hair is becoming more popular on girls without the usual heritage for such a colour of hair (Asian).

Length: Lengths are simple descriptions at shoulder length hair, waist length, mid back and my favourite, ass length. Okay, maybe not, but the rest are very common. Really! 10 points to anyone who reads this and decides to use “ass length hair”.

Highlighting: Unless added by hairdresser or a friend pretending to be a hairdresser, avoid.

Brightness: Look, unless you are a digitally enhanced model in a shampoo add, your hair will be dull, boring to look at and its hue normal. Red hair is not apple red, or fire red or the popular “blood red”. Red hair is either ginger coloured of strawberry blond in appearance.

Tidiness: Never a hair out of place unless the evil cannon says so in which it will now be “uniquely pretty” instead of messy. Frizz has never been an issue, or mentioned.

Change over “the summer”: Usually done with a cannon character, say Hermione, she is boring and plain when she leaves to return home for the summer. When she returns, she is a bona fide babe in need of some lovin’, where her hair is now long, beautiful, enviable and shiny. Yeah right.

Eyes

Detail: Too much, people don’t care about other peoples eyes that much. Keep it simple unless absolutely necessary. Eyes are for seeing through, not talking about. Unless its science related of course. When was the last time you memorised the golden specs in someone’s eyes or noticed a change in the tiny rim surrounding the pupil. If no, remember that when writing your fic. If yes, see a doctor.

Colour: Always vibrant! Always beautiful! Always… what the fuck? Brown eyes are brown eyes, not “deep pools of chocolate that carried the wisdom of the ages” that doesn’t even make sense. Eyes don’t carry wisdom, the age of the person does. If you have a fic where a young person has wise eyes that means severe trauma. If that is also the case, make the character act like it. I’m sick of bubbly characters that have “deep and meaningful” eyes.

Link to other characters: This it referring to family inheritance, using Harry’s sister as an example. Harry has no sister, but when he does, she either has her mum’s dazzling emerald green eyes or her dad’s eyes. This is a statement to say “yes, we are related” even if the similarity is the twinkle in the eye or depth.

Stuff you wouldn’t normally care about: Twinkle in the eye, or lack of, reference to fields, oceans, forests or fire. Stop using magazines as reference to see what eyes look like; you know they digitally enhance them, right? Maybe not.

Height and weight

Main characters are never overweight. Powerful women don’t get fat.

Men are tall, women are petite. Apparently.

Body shape

Has anyone noticed that the main female character ALWAYS (unless a spoof) always has curves in the right places? Is this universally trying to say that she is hot? Or is the writer assuming that everyone has simular ideas about beauty. I call it lazy.

Romance: Where a character is called “not conventually pretty” but still captures the hearts of all around her. The more serious the crush, the more this is highlighted.

Attempt to be original: “She had silky black hair that reached her waist and sparkling emerald eyes that uniquely held more wisdom then was expected within such a pretty seventeen year old girl” no, no, NO. This isn’t unique or clever or difficult to come up with. The above sentence took me, like, two seconds to type. We have all seen descriptions such as this and are emphasized way more then it should be. Also, eyes don’t carry wisdom. Ever.

Nationality

Sometimes a fem characters physical appearance does not always follow her nationality. For British women, black hair is extremely rare. If she is part Asian, or all Asian give her brown eyes.

On a different note, if your fanfiction is in English, please write all your text in English, or have an immediate translation next to the speech in brackets. I hate having to constantly scroll up and down just so that I know what everyone’s saying. For my sanity, or what’s left of it, please do this.

Names and nicknames:

Mary sue

One can recognise a Mary sue style name or nickname if:

They are very unusual, eg. Serenity, Infinity surreal, Lyric and others. These are not real names! They also suck ass. Why on earth would you name a child “Infinity”?!

They require translation in the introduction. I kid you not. “Hi, I’m Rabea, that’s German for Raven” no one cares what your name can be translated to! Shut up and die. This is way too common.

The name captures attention for its quality as a name, its uniqueness and appropriateness. Right.

Gothic/emo

Dark sounding names such as Raven, Aleña and others

Aristocratic names that sound vampirish, but without the edge

Names that would be more appropriate for actual snakes

Male names that have a strong “s” sound in them like Seth, Female names that have a soft but audible “v” sound like Veronica.

Night related names, or names that translate into night words.

Names that would more commonly occur with prostitutes then the women who actually hold them. It’s to sound sexy, I think…

Sugar sweet

Girls of sugar and spice and huh? These girls are the anti of the Gothic’s and have sweet, common names (Mia, Nikki, Ty, and Jade)

Personality types:

American transfers who manage to be best friends with the authors favourite characters (and go out with the “hottest”).

Characters who invoke a “she is so sweet” response from the cannon characters but make the readers think “what a bitch”

Characters that love and are sharing and compassionate, and understanding, and empathetic, and will fill you with a one way, guilt ridden trip if you dare have an opinion of your own!

INSANE!!! OMGWTFLOLBBQ!!

Avoid this like the plague.

You can see them a mile away, they try to be funny but fail miserably.

Note for all writers: Inside jokes are only funny if you are INSIDE THE JOKE. If not, it will only piss you off.

I am woman, hear me roar

These are the women who are becoming increasing popular and common… everywhere!

This is the idea that a young beautiful woman with a fiery temper can boss everyone else around, constantly yell at them, make them feel like shit for having an opposing opinion and generally be a total bitch and still maintain complete love, trust and respect. For all real women, we know this is not true.

Mary-sue

Where do we begin…?

Classic sue: Easy to avoid. Low danger. Everything you would imagine a Mary sue to be.

I-am-in-the-wrong-time-era sue: She fights sexism, falls in love and saves the day. No sexism? Just wait for a guy to speak, and then accuse him of being a stupid sexist boy. It’s not sexist, after all, if it is a girl!

Vampire sue: Gothic, sly, beautiful, wears black.

Werewolf sue: Female version of Remus Lupin. Really.

Emo sue: NO! RUN AWAY! SAVE YOURSELVES! RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ehem. Right. This girl is tough, shelled, and sarcastic. She wears black, has a tattoo and lots of piercing, falls in love with Draco Malfoy, and is in Slytherin (Now judged on hate rather then the intended “Ambition”). She is a total bitch to everyone but is never truly hated for anything.

God sue: She is better, stronger, smarter, wiser and more powerful than all the other characters, and they know it. She is a chosen one with the rarest of abilities, so rare they make parseltongue common. She has a rare pet that is intelligent and sarcastic. She knows ancient spells and is elegant with magic. Too bad none of the other characters can kill her off.

Foreigner sue: She comes from afar; she is a breath of fresh air, beautiful, talented and sweet. She is the foreign exchange student, arriving at just the right time when stuff is happening. She is unbiased of race, religion and magic. She lives muggle culture and listens to muggle music and can use a muggle weapon with ease. Please, send her home.

Zelda sue: This sue is singular, beautiful and powerful. She is feared by her enemies for her magic and loved by her friends. Too bad all she does is get kidnapped and wait for her true love to rescue her.

Cannon: Beware… these can be very subtle… I will keep these short and sweet...

Lily Potter/Evans sue: Fighter, Lover, hates/loves James Potter, has friends who are in love with James’s friends, sarcastic, Red headed, too intelligent, perfect, attacks all in a five kilometre radius.

Draco sue: Draco is a guy peoples! He shouldn’t be described as beautiful, graceful, and so on. I know he is a pansy but get over it! Oh, and now he is a genius, excellent at potions and is known as the “Slytherin king”. Whatever that is.

Marauder sue: Not the ones you are thinking. I mean Lily’s friends who are in love with their counterparts, but will constantly compete with them (pranks), never get into trouble and are always better then their male counterparts.

Slytherin character sue: Slytherins that are only described as loyal, beautiful, superior, undervalued, smarter, more powerful, and all round more awesome then the other houses. This is also a very feminine house. No idea why.

Double trouble

This is the idea that twins are an unstoppable when getting into mischief and are annoying to all the other characters that become completely helpless at their skill and energy.

Relationships with the Cannon characters:

Wham bam

They come, reality distorts, cannon characters become OOC, new character leaves, Cannon characters stand around wondering what the hell just happened. This follows the “red headed” theory that a person with red hair and confidence can command, yell, embarrass and more the cannon characters that they take it giving back love and respect.

Out of sight, out of mind

This is the author’s fear that as soon as she/he stops writing about his/her favourite character, they will disappear from the readers mind or vanish or something. It okay to write about other characters for a while peoples!

Two levels of pain

Character of choice, say Hermione, has been cursed with something. She is the in the first level of pain that is direct, painful and destroys reason, perception and the need to do anything. Another character, say Ron, will be in the second level of pain. He is the outsider, who feels helpless, responsible, and full of guilt and depression. Hermione’s emotional storm has struck and left Ron as her easy victim of emotional manipulation.

I love you/ I hate you

Think of Lily Evans and James Potter at school. They fight, they are secretly in love, they continue to fight, James is rejected, they fight, Lily develops romantic feelings, they fight, they go out, they fight, they love, they fight, and they love. What the hell?

The love triangle

One desirable woman, two horny men. The “right man” is pointed out quite quickly so you don’t need to read the whole story to find out what happens or who she eventually "falls in love" with.

You are either with us, or against us

Who to like and who to dislike decisions are made very quickly and kept the same through out the entire story. Characters are either close, loyal friends or despised enemies. Nothing in between.

Overprotection

1. Brothers: Now I know this one just about pisses everyone else off, the over protective brother bullshit! You know, the unwritten rule that when the main female “lover”, say Ginny, has an older brother, he must do all to prevent the so called relationship from occurring. That because Ginny has six brothers, she is untouchable.

Brothers do NOT act this and unless the boyfriend is obviously hurting Ginny, I really don’t think they would care overly so.

This is just an excuse for Ginny to angst and use her “red-headedness” to yell and scream at her brothers who uncharacteristically take it seriously and don’t pay her out.

Another example is if Harry has a sister who will want to date (Usually) Draco Malfoy despite the fact that in the books, he really is an asshole.

2. Parents of a daughter. Same as above only less intrusive. You would think that it would be the other way around… go figure.

Placing in the plot:

Main character

This is the first person view or third person view of the established main character. This becomes a problem when the story requires focus on another character and the author is unable is make them think about much other then the main character.

Main “lover”

Often, the main character is in a romance related problem. Usually one has higher priorities on their mind then how to properly manipulate – I MEAN influence true love. Not anymore. It is strange how confident they are of their crushes returned feelings of twu wuv and how this knowledge is easily used to seduce the crush into a dark room for some lovin’.

Or, the main character is in a neurotic state about this crush and for reasons beyond all logic, EVERYONE is the nearby radius knows and have known for this for illogical amounts of time.

For example, Ron and Hermione. Everyone says that they have been “IN LOVE” since their first year. Fuck, that’s quick. Imagine choosing who you want to spend the rest of your LIFE with when you are eleven. That’s tough. I just feel sorry for them when I hear that comment.

While I am at it, stop using the phrase “They/you argue like an old married couple”. That is not a complement. It says “You too have been together way too long, you can’t stop arguing, time to call it quits and see new people”.

Only developed character/ all eyes on me

Stories that are based all around one character. Their actions, moves, thoughts, appearance and every word are carefully noted by the author and all the characters within the confines of the story. They are treated like purity wrapped in the finest clothes full of the most exotic and powerful knowledge and extreme confidence. Their morals are always the best ones and they ALWAYS know who to love, hate, ignore.

Its not always a Mary sue. Just develop the other freaking characters to the same freaking level of detail so it doesn’t seem like a Mary sue!

“I has insane comments!! LOL!”

Author’s self placement. No significance on the plot, just annoying comments, fore sight on everything that is going to happen to the characters and the occasional fling. Most of the time, these stories carry the mistake in thinking that the cannon plot is rigid and cannot be affected in terms of major events.

The Marauders (usually) and possibly Lily reading the Harry Potter books. I actually like these stories, except more time needs to be on hilarious comments rather then then rewriting the book.

“I will prank/destroy/kill you all”

Prank: This is the thought pattern of a young person at Hogwarts (cannon and non-cannon) who will make it their mission to break all the rules, pull lots of embarrassing and usually unimaginative pranks on everyone. They never get into serious trouble. In most schools, if you sneeze wrong you get a detention. And boarding schools are even harsher! As if this could occur as commonly as it does in fanfics.

Slytherin: Annoying, sly, plotting, evil, separate from the other three houses

Disclaimers:

“This story is insane and stuff! LOL!”

“This story is too random and has way too many inside jokes that you guys will never get! Also, I wrote this last light! Sugar high! Guaranteed lameness and no humour! Come in for three seconds and leave!”

“I wrote this to honour (ship) because they are, like, so cute!!!”

“This is pure romantic fluff without a sign of that pesky thing you always want called plot”

“OC romance! No Mary-sues”

“I wrote a Mary sue. Don’t call her that, you will make me cry and no one will care because I’m not the Mary sue…”

“If you don’t like it, don’t read it”

“Don’t worry, I didn’t like it either, I just want to keep the flamers away”

At last! I have compiled a set of rules and simple things to keep in mind when writing your romance pieces without it turning out cliché, or predictable and boring. There are no guarantees though, but after reading much of the romance on fanfiction.net in “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” I have noticed the unfortunate similarities and phases that ruin well written stories.

This is written for all you Johnny Depp fans out there. Not to discourage your impossible dreams of true love.

1. NEVER under any circumstances, in the summery, write a hypothetical question that gives away the entire plot. E.g. “will he have the courage to act on those feelings?” or “Will he figure out what his feelings mean?” I cannot stress this enough. Unless they are looking for a predictable romance story, no one will touch these.2. Don’t use this line EVER in your story (Exception: flashback) “Good morning sunshine! The earth says hello!” Only JD is allowed to say this and your Willy Wonka character isn’t JD, and therefore can’t. Or any other character. It’s funny when JD says it. Not you. Stop it, please.3. Enough with the candy analogies. “The sweetest of men” ect. They have been overused and are starting to seriously annoy people.4. A brain dead OC. Translation: a female character who agrees with anything Willy Wonka does or says and never has an opinion of her own.5. Role reversal. In other words, The OC has taken all of Willy Wonka’s character and left Willy as a brain dead hottie.6. Character blocking. In other words, denying Charlie’s existence and giving him a tiny insignificant role in the story with no effort on characterisation.7. The Mary Sue OC. She has no place here. Go away!8. Don’t turn Willy Wonka into a Mary Sue either. He is very difficult to write in the sense that he is already very close to being one, which is why this occurs in so many fanfiction stories.9. Although very strange, Willy Wonka is a man and not a god. This may seem obvious to you but so many don’t get it.10. Don’t generalise the minor characters. Too many people write Charlie as the generic good little kid with no interesting features or personality. It’s a trap way too many people fall into.11. Avoid the 6th ticket scam.12. Will Wonka does not have a hot identical twin that is in love with the second OC.13. Avoid stupid names such as "Tyrrill" for your OC.14. Years of being out of contact with other humans would probably suggest that he is extremely unexperienced in the art of dating. Most people don’t get this. Also, it is unlikely that he would act on his feelings in a way that wouldn’t freak out and disturb the girl he is trying to woo. Cuteness only goes so far.

I hope that you learnt something and bring out some creative, interesting fanfiction.

After years of reading fanfiction, I have noticed trends where certain
words are used to get across a meaning that only true fanfiction
readers would fully catch and understand. I have compiled a list of
words and phases that commonly occur in romance fanfiction.
Arguments: Sexual tension.Crush: Any relationships caused my this "mere crush" will fail, allowing the "true love" to spawn.Dances (the event): Opportunities for two characters to fall "in love" and angst over it.Envy: Unless he/she is one of
the characters that will have "true love", this marks the character as
worthless and pathetic, having felt the "worst emotion possible".
Allows angst.Fighting: There is no bad fighting. It allows angst, people to fight for their "twu wuv" and can be a sign of sexual tensionFluff: All romance and no plotGluttony: Fat and therefore a worthless character. No romance for fatty.
Greed: Emotion only felt by the characters the auther wants you to hate."I love you as a brother": "I have your heart in my hand and will crush it like the love sick loser you are"."I love you... but I'm not IN love with you": I have a "crush" on someone way hotter then you.Insanity: The term for my ramblings
Jealousy: Allows angst for paranoid and love sick characters.Lust: Same as "Crush".Mary sue: "My OC is not a mary sue!!! The others stories OCs are, but my character is an exception to the rules".OC: Main, usually female character who falls "In love" with the authers favourite character.Sloth: A lazy, worthless character who will be owned in the future.Sneering: Power tool by snobby characters. Can be seen as good and bad.
Suger high!: "My story sucks and this is my excuse"
Summery: The entire plot given away in one sentence.
True love: The OCs perseption of a crush on her favourite
character. This favourite character is never ugly or worthless, and
always has status over the other characters, minus the OC.Vanity: Seen as a good emotion and status builder. Always used by the OCWrath: Normal, everyday emotion. Status builder and cause for angst.(Insert over description of eyes): Doesn't
everyone see every tiny, little, insignificant change and fine details
of your eyes? If you have tiny specks of green in your eyes, everyone will notice. Right?

Offending story: One Step at a TimeFrom: Harry PotterAuthor:CaptainOats+PrincessSparkleOC: Kanika RaiCannon Character: Sirius BlackSummery: "Kanika Rai just wants to get through her final year at Hogwarts. If
that means snagging the love of her life at the same time, she'll do
whatever it takes."OC description: A girl who
attends hogwarts and is "in love" with Sirius. Like she can really tell
at that point. She even dumped some other guy over this crush.Hair: UnknownEyes: UnknownOrigin: Pureblood and has a Spanish and Indian backgroundConnections to Cannon characters: Lily and James's best friendSpecial abilities: To run and cry at the same timeSpecial belongings: Sirius's heartMary sue? Angsty teenage girlThe Plot: No plot, just Kanika obsessing over SiriusExcerpt:( Why was this even written?...Collapse )</p></span>Rating: Plotless

Summery: Two teenage girls whoare totally obsessed with Will (Andrey) and Jack (Addy) are transportedinto the world of "Pirates of the Caribbean" and despite not knowinghow this is possible, they do absolutaly NOTHING but try and get withtheir favorite characters, who don't seem to mind much. I mean, come on!

OC description: Two typical teenage girls with only love on their minds and bad "randomness" jokes.

Hair: Addy - light brown

Andrey - Unknown

Eyes: Addy - Blue

Andrey - Unknown

Origin: Probably America... someplace

Special abilities: Addy - To turn Jack sparrow into a hormonal teenager

Andrey - To turn Elizabeth swann into a fake

Special belongings: Their out of time clothing which no one seems to notice

Mary sue? Close enough

The Plot: Whatplot? Two teenage girls in Port Royale trying to get their crushes tofall "In love" with them. Jack Sparrow has already fallen under theirspell but Will hasn't yet.

Is it me, or is fanfiction.net going downhill lately, with all the badly written romance stories. More annoying then the dreaded Mary-sue, most of these have no plot, no character development for those who are not in the romance parts and turn your favourite characters into piles of goey mush.

Look, I don't care if you are "Oh so obsessed!!!!11" with Johnny Depp, thats no reason to turn the character he plays (e.g Jack Sparrow) into an annoying, love sick puppy with a 2 dimensional personality.

Put it this way, this is my revenge for having to put up with this crap.

And I'm sure I'm not alone with this.

I understand that not all OCs are Mary-sues, but they can still be annoying.

So...

Send in entries for the worst romance fanfics you have read, and have a laugh at some badly written stories.
Nov. 29th, 2005 @ 09:32 pm