flinging ideas over the edge

March 22, 2010

Pretend He's Reasonable

The soft-spoken executive in my recent training seemed
reasonable, intelligent and even-tempered. While role-playing scenarios, he shared a real-life story
about wrangling with a top executive that was clearly upsetting him.

When I was first hired
and asked to prepare my department budget, I was told I couldn’t have any data
or authority over several line items.
Everyone said off-the-record it was an irrational decision, a power move
by a brilliant, yet overly controlling leader. They said he perceived me as a threat and wanted to “put me
in my place.” They told me
just to live with it ...

Now a year
later, however, those line item expenses are significantly higher than anticipated,
and senior leadership handed me the problem to fix. I refused, reminding them I had been denied responsibility
and data from the get-go. We
remain at an impasse. I want to
stick to my principles, but I’m also frustrated having to play this game. Any suggestions?

We’ve all been there.
Most of us have encountered brilliant but troubled leaders who don’t
always act rationally. Typically,
we work around or clean up after them, doubly frustrating when everyone sees
the dysfunction and, yet, counsels inaction. Sure, you can wrangle in return or draw a well-deserved line
in the sand. Or you can rightfully
complain, joining the others who have worked around this dysfunction for years.

But here’s another approach. Pretend he’s perfectly rational, openly collaborative, and a
great team player. Pretend he’s
easy to work with, and, then, behave as if that’s actually true. Convince yourself as much as you
can. No wrangling. No complaining. No politics. Just ask for exactly what you need and expect you’ll get
it. Be clear, calm and hold the
best intentions. And after you make
each request, let it go.

It may not make a different at first, but keep at it and see what
surprising things unfold. Perhaps
that person will grow more yielding, but even if he doesn’t, you may very well
find you get the information, collaboration and teamwork anyway. Besides, at minimum, pretending someone
is easy to work with does absolutely no harm, and imagining you have the best
colleagues on the planet may surprisingly make you feel better. And research shows that feeling better,
in and of itself, makes a huge positive difference.

Comments

Pretend He's Reasonable

The soft-spoken executive in my recent training seemed
reasonable, intelligent and even-tempered. While role-playing scenarios, he shared a real-life story
about wrangling with a top executive that was clearly upsetting him.

When I was first hired
and asked to prepare my department budget, I was told I couldn’t have any data
or authority over several line items.
Everyone said off-the-record it was an irrational decision, a power move
by a brilliant, yet overly controlling leader. They said he perceived me as a threat and wanted to “put me
in my place.” They told me
just to live with it ...