My life never changes

No matter how hard I try!!!!! The shit comes by the truck load every fucking day!!!!!!!!! I dont know which way to turn anymore. I just want it all to go away. And it wont so I'm going to have to. Something has to give and if it means an end to all this shit then I have no problem with it being me.

I cant even remember or imagine anymore how a day with only one or maybe two things to overwhelm me is like. And I cant even fathom how wonderful a hug could be right now. A real person just wrapping their arms around me. Holding me while I let myself fall apart. Letting me be the weak scared person I really am on the inside, if for only a few minutes!!!!! To not need to be the invincible person everyone else in RL seems to expect me to be. The kind of hug that swallows you up and hides you from all the shit. When I first came here that was the one thing that I thought I needed so badly. I gave up on that too just like so many other things in my life. Guess I've just given up all together.

Oh im there with ya and i am sending you lots of hugs okay it sucks being overwhelmed with every dam thing life has to throw at ya. It is not the real thing but know i wish i was there to just hold you and say to the rest of the world ---------- you know what for awhile so she can rest here comes some hugs okay:console::rose::love: hugs and hugs and more hugs just yell and scream get it out so it doesn't build up inside okay

Thank you!!!! Just got up and feeling a little more "stable". Just waiting for the next shipment of shit to arrive. Let's see got my morning tea in hand, the phone is unplugged so I can be here and the 4 year old is watching Saturday morning toons. Ahh sounds about right. Now just waiting for the cell phone to ring or that knock on the door (lol). Thanks though to all my dear friends here. Without you I really dont know what I would do to make it through each shipment. Hugs and kisses to you all. And from the bottom of my heart !!!!!!!*~THANK YOU~*!!!!!!!!!

Hey, I'm new here also and feel exactly how you felt on your first post about 99.9% of my time here in life, but I'm hoping to change for the better I know it will come, it just takes time. I have problems, but I have a problem that isn't really a big deal to some, but it is to me and I deal with it every living day of my life! arggghhhh...sorry for all the ranting, but i'm glad your doing better. and i'm even more glad for you because you have a child that loves you!