Update on Sofia (virtual jealousy)

You’ve read about Sofia. You’ve seen insanely hot pictures of her. I thought I’d bring you up to speed on what’s happening with her, ‘cause it’s interesting. (To me.)

When we first started interacting at least (more than?) a year ago now, she was living with her boyfriend, but the relationship was ending. After it ended, she was resolutely uninterested in being in a relationship. I was a fun distraction for her, and helped her meet her sexual needs. (And she sure helped me – the volume of our interactions, words, pictures, videos, sound files, is kind of staggering. And she’s hot. And smart. And interesting. And compliant.)

In the time since then, we’ve had missteps (mostly mine) and learned a lot. We both get jealous – or rather, she gets jealous, I get envious (as is my way). When I posted tales of my dates, if I failed to give her a heads-up, she would feel blindsided, hurt, and would grow distant. When I gave her the heads-up, she still felt bad, but somehow, less so. And I fucked up, repeatedly, promising to give her fair warning before posts would appear and then utterly failing to do so.

Over time, things changed. As the distance between Sofia and her previous relationship grew, she became increasingly interested in real-world (and not just virtual) sex. She made an OKCupid profile. She went on Tinder. She met some guys. She went on some dates. She had some sex. And, inevitably, she started a relationship.

Through it all, it’s been fascinating to watch. To watch her, her reactions to me, and to watch me, my reactions to her.

A year ago, her orgasms were mine. Today, they’re not. Well, to be clear, not all of them are mine. There’s a growing cast of men who have a claim on her pussy. Of course, I never had much of one: we live thousands and thousands of miles apart, we’ve never met. I never would dream of asserting the ownership that she craves, that I crave. Not in a real, prohibitive way. But as her dating has ramped up, my claim, such as it is, has become more vestigial, less powerful. And I feel less and less entitled to assert my claim.

Postscript: I shared this post with her before posting it, and she wrote, “I understand that this is how you feel about your claim on me, on my pussy. It makes sense. My pussy can’t belong to you all the time. But, I need the moments in which it does. When you do own my pussy, I feel just as yours as I’ve felt in the past, when you had me pretty much for yourself. I wish I knew of a way to make you FEEL entitled, because you ARE.”