Wednesday, 29 January 2014

THE
ADDRESSING OF THE ISSUE OF THE FAILINGS OF BLOOD BANKS, DRIVES AND
DONATIONS WITH TOPICAL AND CONSIDERED SUGGESTIONS ABOUT WHAT MIGHT BE
DONE TO REMEDY THIS SERIOUS SITUATION WITH THE INCLUSION OF
SUFFICIENTLY ADVANCED NOTATIONS FOR THE SUFFICIENTLY ADVANCED OF
BRAIN.

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INTRODUCTION:

It's
that time again and around my city the call has gone out.

“We
need blood!" they cry and "Give blood today!”

When
that doesn't work they switch to more pleading tones “Have you got
blood? Because we need it" or even

"Just
give us the red stuff and you will be instrumental in saving lives”

Monday, 27 January 2014

There has been a tendency of late for
movie makers to tackle the classic fairy tales in much the same way
that I do. But where I remain both faithful and respectful of the
material the movie versions are generally rewritten to be gritty
action packed adventures with the bad CGI monster dial turned all the
way up.

Not long ago, whilst I was perusing my
various tomes in a room that was illuminated only by the brief
punctuation of jagged lighting arcing across the eternity of ebon
night and Fluffywuffykins, my pet Shoggoth, looked about for someone
to take her walkies I stumbled across more than a few examples which
suggested the Grimms themselves weren't above doing the same thing,
although understandably they didn't have the budget for poorly
rendered CGI monsters. This particular gem stands out as an
example of their darker works. It first came to my attention when the
title piqued my interest and what I discovered is that they've
discarded the wicked witches, long lost princes and happily ever
afters in favor of Death, a doctor and a father who's not afraid to
to tell both God and The Devil exactly what he really thinks of them
in the same way that we've all dreamed of marching into the bosses
office right now.

A further note: Death "TALKS LIKE
THIS" only because I am unfortunate enough to be a fan of Terry
Pratchett's Discworld series in which the character of Death plays a
major role, has a horse named Binky and likes cats [1]. I urge you to
stay away from all twenty books. Trust me you'll hate them, really
[2].

Tuesday, 21 January 2014

It is thanks to the demands of real life that Jabberwockery has been dead. I could tell you about it here but whoever heard of using a blog to provide updates about ones personal life? What it all boils down to is that Jabberwockery lives once again and without any further ado I present my first posting for 2014.

THE ANALYSIS OF:

THE SIX SWANS

OR

HOW I STOPPED
WORRYING AND LEARNED TO LOVE THE SPACES BETWEEN THE NOTES.

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INTRODUCTION:

It's
an undeniable fact that, like so many others, I occasionally wax
nostalgic for the old country. This week for instance it was when I
was looking at the long list of improbable ingredients involved in
creating what I laughingly refer to as a 'simple love spell'.

Aside
from the fact that love itself is never simple I take pains to point
out the spells of today are even less so. Because what many people
don't know is that magic was once very common indeed only instead of
mucking around with crystals, familiars and the phases of the moon
anybody could point, "Alakazam!" and produce a satisfactory
frog from a prince or occasionally vice versa

However
the inner workings of the arcane only make up part of tonight's story
because what it's really all about is forests, royalty, the
importance of family and the great lengths that people will go to to
(A) get one and (B) hold on to same.

It
is, I believe, also worth noting that this particular Grim Brothers
tale wouldn't look out of place under the umbrella of George R R
Martins Game of Thrones series although, because of the whole
'children's story' thing, we would have to turn the dragons into
swans which is only slightly less threatening as not only can a swan
break a mans arm with its wing but will turn vicious pretty quickly
as anyone who's ever tried to feed one at a duck pond will attest [1]