Google, where’d your creative spark go?

I’ve heard stories of your lunch time basketball games, your employee perks, and your creative encouragement. Your Google Doodle has taken on a life of it’s own; I keep going back to Google Drive like a pregnant woman to her ice cream bowl; and you just keep making that search engine more and more responsive to my secret wishes.

So why does Google Analytics have to be so boring?

I just slogged my way through lesson 1. Actually, I might only be part way through. I had to pause and do something vaguely creative. The videos are like telecast freshman biology lectures and the quizzes are worse than a kindergartner’s standardized test.

I like data. I like numbers. But getting through the next few hours of learning how to use Google Analytics might just require more caffeine than my body can handle. In your next iteration, can you please add a few bonus rounds filled with some really inspired writing, maybe some whimsical info-graphs, or interactive buttons that by clicking will help me learn?

I’m pretty damned determined to use all the resources I can find to drive traffic to our website that result in enough “conversions” that I can actually have a reliable income again. So, I will slog through your lessons. But, while I’m slogging, can you please consider my requests?