Category Archives: Animated GIF

“I know this steak doesn’t exist. I know that when I put it in my mouth, the Matrix is telling my brain that it is juicy and delicious. After nine years, you know what I realize? Ignorance is bliss.” Cypher // The Matrix 1999

How does it feel knowing you’re a slave existing in the matrix? I’ve been practicing all the self-help shit consistently, reprogramming my brain telling myself that I’m ‘free’ from all of this…

and yet today, this is how I feel. Coming in to work everyday going in waves of contentment to dissatisfaction then back again in a continuous, infinite loop.

Rest your mind, unplug for a bit. But will you do it though? Probably not.

My mood is definitely bleak today.

I suppose I should tell someone to “give me credit” for creating this, but I just don’t care. Credit me or not, none of it matters.

Also, reminding myself to grab a Selenite & Rose Quartz for my MIL this weekend, I’m hoping it will help with her Parkinsons.💖

While driving to work I was holding this Garnet Soapstone (available for purchase) in the photo and got a surge of energy flow through me and my eyes welled up a little…I thought about blood, bloodshed and sacrifice.

In my mind’s eye I got a flash of witches being accused and persecuted. Perhaps these were just mental pictures from witch-related movies I’ve seen, I wasn’t sure. But it was enough to make me feel something and to write this down.

Anyways.

In terms of sacrifice, often times we think about veterans who were in the war, but what about the thousands of innocent witches, healers who were burned at the stakes…

What about the countless women who were raped past, present and future…

It was brought to my awareness recently that James Marion Sims, the father of modern Gynecology, owned black slave women and cut them up without anesthesia in order to study and learn about our reproductive organs.

The history of mankind is gruesome and it was the women who usually suffered the most.

They all sacrificed themselves to have what we have today.

All these women live through me and they exist as little druzy sparkles in this Garnet Soapstone. Garnet is all about strength and security. I am you, you are me, we are One. Now whenever I look at Almandine Garnets I will always think about all the blood that has been shed and seeped through the earth to create such a beautiful stone.

I cursed myself often, often wishing I was a man instead. They always seemed to get away with doing things. It took some time to love my body and accept myself as a woman.

I used to be angry that my period would inconvenience me, it’s actually happening right now and I think it’s perfect for writing this post.❤️

I was digging through old files when I stumbled upon this old drawing. My mom was Christian so after she passed away in 2006, my soul wanted to draw, paint and explore the dark stuff. I was fascinated by the occult, Satanism, Anton LaVey and the image of the devil.

I was also heavily influenced by tattoo imagery, so I borrowed the devil image from Sailor Jerry’s flash. I wanted to be a tattoo artist at some point, so I bought a tattoo machine – tattooed myself and a couple of people out of my home. I was a scratcher, I didn’t get very far :/

Anyways, I guess I’m just reminiscing.

The Devil (15) is still my friend. I look forward to seeing him and I actually laugh, wondering what kind of temptation will he present to me whenever he shows up via tarot, or will he play the devil’s advocate through a person I encounter that day? You never know and that’s why I like him. He breaks up the seriousness of the tarot with his presence.

In trying to figure out what brings me joy and pleasure in my work life and how to attract more of it, I’ve come to these conclusions:

+ I like creating cute shit.
+ I like creating cute, bright, colorful shit.
+ I like creating animated GIFs

That’s all I’ve got. I feel like I could work at a place that’s cute, fun and matches my graphic style, but for adults (and I don’t mean porn). I think there should be more places that cater to the kid inside of us. BOOM, I just gave you an idea.

Complaining about what I don’t enjoy doing doesn’t get me anywhere – I know because I just went there AGAIN recently😫. It just brings me down and puts me in a stupid mood. So I need to get clear on what it is I really enjoy doing and not focus so much on the things I don’t enjoy.

Web design I don’t mind so much, just not into the heavy programming. I’ve tried for the life of me to learn Javascript and PHP, I did not go very far.

I enjoy writing if it’s something interesting & relevant to me.

I feel like motion graphics would be the next thing to learn, as I do enjoy animating and making things move.

I enjoy some aspects of marketing, a lot of it I don’t really care for.

I know I sound like a broken record, but I want to leave my comfortable job. At the same time it feels like I shouldn’t because I have a partner and a cat that depend on me.

I’m very much aware that I just put some limitations on my desires. It’s dumb, I know. I’m working on it but at the same time I’m not working on it…

I’m definitely on some kind of journey at the moment, one where I keep seeking to learn more about healing and becoming proficient at being a healer. There is no unhealthy ego attached here, this is where my intuition has been taking over and leading me to as of late. Reiki and Trans Crystal Therapy were the catalyst, now I’m being led to keep on learning more. How do I know this? It’s all I seem to want to think and read about but not in an obsessive way, just going with it and expanding my knowledge and awareness of this magnificent universe we live in and how its energy flows and manifests through us.

It’s a little bit of everything that I like – esoteric, psychology, science, energy work and metaphysical all rolled into one. There’s also a lot of art and imagination involved, as we are working as well as creating and visualizing things that can’t be seen but actually do exist.

So what about the crystal shop?

It’s there, quietly continuing to build itself. My ego helped me create that, but it’s taken a back seat. Too much ego creates competition, separation and stress so I had to take myself out of it because it simply didn’t make me feel good. And yeah, I also had to cut back on spending money since there is only 1 person in my little family that’s working: me.

So I watermarked this gif because it’s the damn internet and people like to steal.

If you’re reading this, I hope you are having a fun and relaxing summer doing what you want to do rather than doing things you have to do. Remember, you are important.✨🖤✨

I learned it and got certified…but now I’m not sure how to go about attracting clients, at least for TCT since that one was a much larger investment.

Also since I have a home based business – the crystal shop, do I start thinking about having a space separate from my home to do this kind of work? There’s so much to think about when having & expanding a small business but I guess I DO like thinking about it because it’s mine.

I’m in total limbo right now. I’m on a threshold of a major change here but I don’t quite know what it is. All I know is lately, I’ve been thinking more and more of taking the leap from my 9 to 5 and just going for it. I want to be patient though and wait for the right time. But IS there really a right time? I feel as I’ve been wanting to take the leap for years now.

If I fail, then I fail. But what if I don’t fail? What if I succeed? What if I’m already successful but just need to take it up a notch…

That is what faith is, right? Believing and trusting that whatever I’m meant to be doing will work out somehow even though I can’t see that far ahead.

Today the Empress showed herself to me so at least I know I’m on the right track, but then the 2nd card showed me 5 of Pentacles. Ugh, why is tarot so conflicting sometimes!😩

Anyways, here is a test animation that I’ve been playing with. The trick is to do a nice animation that doesn’t have a huge file size when saved for output. I think that’s why animated gifs are so good, remember when people thought they were annoying?

I feel somewhat uninspired right now, a little lost and clueless – the Moon showed up a few times too amplifying those feeling even more – but I will keep on moving forward…

All I’ve been wanting to do lately is just doodle sacred geometry shapes and symbols. I wanted to draw this while at work today but alas I was on a deadline. And then I made a gif out of it a day later.

I feel as if something is being activated in me but I’m not sure what it is. I read something online recently about the light body – that it is activated in levels.

I’m drawn to merkaba, pyramid, sri yantra, stars, eyes and infinity symbols. I’ve been drawing them a lot repetitively, I also want them tattooed on me.👁🌀🔺🌀🔻🌀👁

Been reading about the Lemurians, Atlanteans, the Pleiadeans; my psychic friend told me in the beginning of January 2018 that I was Lemurian/Atlantean in a past life…which in a way makes total sense that I’m drawn to Lemurian crystals and was able to sell them successfully, or is it only because most everyone in the crystal world reveres them? Hard to tell but I’m learning to trust that what I feel is true for me.

Speaking of past lives, I’m really into the subject but still have no clue who I was in the past. I guess it doesn’t matter so much unless it’s affecting my current lifetime in a negative way.

All I know is I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I’m definitely IN the spiral and I can’t relate to most people these days unless we’re into the same stuff.

I’m lost and I don’t want to be found. There is so much to learn about the past, present, future and other dimensions.

It’s officially been a year since I started Metaphysical Vibes. I applied for a business license & seller’s permit around this time in April 2017 and opened to the public on Earth Day, April 22nd. What an interesting exercise in manifestation this has been, I don’t know what’s next as I’m learning so much about myself and haven’t been spending money on the business as I spent a lot last year, so I’m paying down my debt. I’m taking an 8 week course in Trans Crystal Therapy at The Crystal Matrix – learning and working with the stones and their associated chakras, scanning the body with pendulums and Quartz crystals, becoming more aware of our auras, etc. I love my teacher and the people I’m taking the course with. I’m definitely growing and transforming, into what I have yet to discover. The Death card appeared this week, as did The Fool.

Open mind, open heart. Stay curious as there is so much more to it than just the physical world. Peace, love and blessings if you are reading this.✨❤✨

I am totally aware of this. Right now I’m feeling an old habit creeping up on me, the feeling of boredom. I don’t want to be bored, yet I am. Perhaps the gloomy weather is causing me to feel this way, perhaps it’s my job.

Regardless I am thankful for my job, I am thankful for my life. I’m thankful that I was able to manifest an online business selling crystals; I don’t even know how it happened – being a seller was never really on my radar but marketing and building websites were, so there. It helps that I really like crystals too.

But I get bored still from time to time…I think everybody does.

You don’t have to fight it, but you can’t let it take over completely. So I am writing this to my future self as a reminder:

+ If you get bored, remember to just simply change it up! Do something a different way or make it a point to learn something new every day.

+ Snap out of it, snap out of feeling sorry for yourself. Other people are really suffering and here you are complaining about being bored. SMH. Exercise, go outside, take a walk, breathe and be in gratitude for fuck sake. You really have a lot to be thankful for.

I am all too aware that I am also creeping my way into getting old, I can see the subtleties on my face. I’m caring less and less about a lot of things but I also don’t want to be forgetful. And I don’t want to be helpless. That’s why they say reading, writing and problem solving or playing memory games is important.

I’ve also been thinking about my finances a lot more, like 401ks and life insurance. I don’t have children so that made it a little easier, but I still have to think about retirement and my loved ones. Had I payed closer attention to this stuff when I was younger, I would be all set for retirement! I would be rich by this world’s standards. But if I DID amass that huge amount, then Uncle Sam would be taxing me for it, wouldn’t he? He sure would! So really, which choice is better; and are you really rich if all that you saved up for goes to paying down debt?

Whatever choice I picked is fine for me, I am successful either way. No matter what choice we make in life, Spirit will always look out for your best interest. You can always look back on your life and see how everything actually worked out for you.

I wanted to draw something for this post but I got stuck. So here’s an old drawing that I decided would look better in hot pink and as an animated gif.

I literally want to learn how to do A LOT of things. Where does one draw the line?

I also want to just do nothing, really. Have I lost my sense of identity? Probably. I have always thought that art would be my path. It is, just not in the way I imagined. It is still one of many possibilities, and I’m still holding on to the fantasy that I will create in that capacity again.

But let’s face it, as grownups it’s not exactly easy to make “art for art’s sake” – most things adults do has a purpose. But if it’s important to you, you will find the time.

I want to get better at business and marketing because I know it will benefit my little business…

But I also just want to let it unfold without me forcing it to be a certain way.

Everything has to be balanced, we all have to wait our turn. There’s a lot of everything right now, so much so that it’s saturated. It’s great that everyone is pursuing their dream, but not so great when the market is flooded. Everybody is selling, everybody is hustling. I’m right there with all those people, but I’ve also learned to be still and have patience.

I read this proverb from a little booklet (Learn Spanish – another thing that I really want to learn) and it has a beautiful, religious but also borderline occult undertone to it:

EN LA TIERRA DE LOS CIEGOS EL TUERTO ES REY

In the kingdom of the blind the one eyed is king.

Here’s my drawing for today which somehow evolved into a animated gif that I don’t mind at all; I hope to redraw it and post a better version. I’m pretty sure I’ve drawn VII of Cups before, digitally.

I was going to end the post here but another thought entered my mind: I think that’s why I like the Tarot and continue to work with it – it is everything. But when you see the bigger picture it is also a mandala, a wheel. And at any given moment, the wheel turns and we can be anything we want.

Loving yourself has been on the rise as of late and I really think it’s here to stay. Maybe perhaps it’s WHAT I’ve been choosing to see/experience more and more of and so now I see it everywhere; at least in my digital/real world. It’s a beautiful thing to witness people loving themselves, but what does it mean exactly?