The Top 20 Types of Singaporeans

1. You willingly give up your seats to your love ones because you are a gentleman but when you get a seat on the bus or train, you will fall asleep immediately when you see a stranger who needs it more boards the bus or train.

2. You are eager to pay tens of thousands for a car when the COE prices of cars drop by a few thousand dollars but gripes about the ERP rates increasing by 50 cents.

3. You are proud of our clean streets but are not willing to allow the foreign workers who are responsible for keeping our streets clean to stay near your home.

4. Your tell your children and foreign friends not to litter in Singapore because it is wrong but you dump your rubbish casually when you are travelling overseas.

5. You complain that you can’t get a taxi at peak hours in places such as Orchard Road but you complain about the taxi surcharges designed to encourage taxis to be available at peaks hours in popular areas.

6. You remember the date when the solar eclipse is supposed to happen or the birthdays of popular Korean pop stars but you are not sure which year Singapore got our independence.

7. You complain about ungracious Singaporeans and service staff but you don’t even say hello to your fellow neighbours.

8. You complain that the HDB flats are getting smaller but you will jump at the opportunity to upgrade to an equally cramp condominium once you can afford it.

9. You willingly queue at popular food stalls for more than an hour, queue overnight for that prized condominium launch or for the Primary school space for your children, but writes to the Straits Times Forum to complain when there is a long queue at government counters.

10. You complain that there is no work-life balance to your employers but are unwilling to give your maid a day off once a month.

11. You tell your friends and the newspapers that speaking Singlish is about National pride and identity lah but will immediately speak with a foreign accent when talking to your Western friends.

12. You will be touched and donate to support a cause if you know about it from the TV or papers but you will always throw away the letters appealing for monthly automated donations by established charities.

13. You complain that Great Singapore Sale is so so only but is willing to spend a few hundred dollars to fly to Hong Kong for your shopping sprees because they are (slightly) cheaper.

14. You complain about the economy and job market and your stagnant pay but is not willing to forgo your latest handphone or car or air-conditioning or plasma TV or restaurant dining because they are necessities.

15. You complain that Singapore needs the opposition but cringe and are unwilling to vote when the opposition campaigns in your estate as it may affect your property’s price.

16. You claim that National Service is a waste of time but will gladly bore your girlfriends and wives to talk about the “good old days” in your camps with your old buddies from the Army.

17. You think that racial harmony is about dressing up in our ethnic costumes on Racial Harmony Day but do not bother to understand what is important to the other races.

18. You complain that there is not enough time to meet up with your friends but you will always have time for your Facebook games and TV shows.

19. You tell your friends that Singapore is so boring but you have not been to the Lim Chu Kang farm, nor have you visited the mangroves at Chek Jawa, and you have not been BBQing at East Coast Park for years.

20. You enjoy reading garispang.wordpress.com but pretend that you have not heard about this blog.