I wrote a whole post years ago about how, as a child, I loved to go out in the open fields of my neighborhood and build imaginary neighborhoods where my family and friends would live. I dragged things around in these open fields to section off roads and plots that defined these spaces. I was very spatially oriented even then and would gravitate to a career that utilized those senses, Interior Design. It was a matter of being able to make a living doing something close to what I loved to do; which basically was simply to configure things, anything/everything in ways that pleased me.

I just turned 64 on June 22 and now, today, July 1, it dawned on me that 37 years ago today, July 1, 1981, I had a first date with a man who would be the most significant influence in my life to date. I thought that I was madly in love. Of course I know now that those feelings are transient and usually mean that it is going to be an experience of profound growth for me; which that relationship surely was.

True love is a whole different thing than madly in love.

Nonetheless, he impacted my life in ways I will never regret. We didn’t get married, we didn’t even move in together, but we never broke complete contact until just recently when he died. Several years had gone by since our last encounter and that encounter provided me with a release from all the thoughts of what could have been.

As it turns out, what could have been happened. He was everything he was supposed to have been for me. We would never have been happy as a couple; we were far too different in our passions and preferences. For one thing he didn’t really like animals all that much and that’s a very big difference.

The moral of this story is that all experiences nudge and plod us along in life to end up where we need to be. Some experiences have more significance than others.

As I shared in that story about my childhood, a publication about drapery hardware and beautiful window coverings had a profound effect on my life early on. That single thing steered my life in a direction. It made my heart beat faster. It gave me goose bumps. I couldn’t wait to get myself into that environment and I did everything in my power to get there and I did get there, step by step by step. And I’m still there. I still move things around, configure things to please me. I still love to handle fabric and fashion it into things of greater value. I still love to drag things around and create plots where my family and friends will live. My family and friend are now mostly pets.

Turtle found crossing the street lately on a morning walk around the neighborhood. I think I’ll call him Buster. “Hey Buster, where are you hiding now!”

A place for Buster to keep wet

Buster at feeding time

Thirty seven years ago today, I had a first date with a man who saw these values in me and encouraged them. He applauded my endeavors making it easier for me to go on with them. He saw things in me that I didn’t see. I felt special in his presence. For a very long time, I felt lonely without him. But because of him, I was stronger and even that was easier to endure.

I believe that everything happens for a reason and that everything will turn out right in the end and, to quote from the movie The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, “if it is not alright, it is not yet the end”.

I don’t know how thirty seven years went by so fast and I’m very sad about the fact that it has. I don’t want to spend another minute dwelling on things I can do nothing about or things that don’t utilize my skills in the best way possible.

There are a great many things wrong with the world and it is easy to get caught up commiserating about it. I think it is a far greater thing to do something about it. To my mind, permaculture practices and living a radically simple life are about the greatest things anyone can really do to effect change. And that is what I shall do. Certainly nothing else I have done has worked and this I love to do.

Success

"To live is to struggle. A successful life is not without ordeals, failures, tragedies, but one during which the person has made an adequate number of effective responses to the constant challenges of his physical and social environment." Rene Dubos - So Human An Animal pg.161 c1968