5 Reasons Divorce Stinks

A lot of people I know are divorcing these days. I am not in their shoes, so I would never say, "Do or don't leave."

I, myself, was in a very unhappy marriage for about two seconds twenty years ago. I was a virginal college kid and simply wasn't ready to make that commitment, nor was I emotionally or spiritually bolstered enough to look beyond my immediate needs.

I can say this, though: Not a day goes by when I don't think about that divorce. Being with someone, right or wrong, leaves an imprint on one's heart and soul. This man is one I will never forget, despite not being ready to live a life with. Divorce is brutal.

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

At forty, though, I am a different person. While at times Rex can drive me nuts, I can honestly say that I am so happy to have him in my life. The devil I know is worse than one I don't know, and really… I can't call a non-spontaneous person "evil". Rex has his downsides, but so do I.

If I had to narrow it down to five reasons to make my current marriage work, it would be:

1.Respect. I know how hard Rex works at his job and for me. Why should someone else benefit from his amazing loyalty?

More From Good Housekeeping

2.Parenthood. Rex is the father of my kids – a damn good one at that. I don't want any other woman raising my kids, nor do I want some other man raising mine.

3.Sex. I simply can't imagine getting naked for someone else.

4.Laundry. Rex does ALL of it. This alone will keep me hitched for life.

5.Insanity. I'm nuts at times. Rex puts up with that. Which leads me back to #1. I respect him for it.

One of my favorite comedians, Sandra Tsing Loh, had a marriage very similar to Rex and mine. She was the outspoken writer who journaled her experiences with fierce honesty. (She is much more successful than I am, but we're both as nutty.) Her husband was the steady-eddy type. She left him a few years back after having an affair. She wrote about it in this Atlantic piece.

In this blog, people (mostly men) skewered her choices. I felt it was a bit unfair. The only thing Loh did, that was different from other affairs, is she was honest enough to admit her transgressions. And let's face it, while adultery is never good, she didn't get into some man's bed alone. It takes two to tango.

I'm curious why you would, or would not, divorce your spouse.

As for tonight, I'm shocked my husband isn't leaving me for having an affair with my computer. It's time to put this to bed and give my fingers something other than a keypad to run my hands over and over. I know just what that might be. And if you're thinking what I think you're thinking, you are correct.