How To Approach A Woman Without Getting Slapped

Updated on December 10, 2012

"What's your sign?" in the 1970s, this was the coolest pick-up line around. Itreferred to astrology, as in your astrological sign, or horoscope. I guess atthe beginning, guys got a lot of women this way, but over time the girls gotsick of hearing it and it eventually turned into a joke.

The reason, of course, is this: if a pickup line, or opening line, is toocliched, a reasonably intelligent woman will see right through it.

The thing is, your line does not have to be the most original thing in theworld. It's more important that it be natural, fitting with the occasion, andrespectful.

One of the best things you can do is just say "Hi." Asking the girl's namebefore you've even started talking to each other can be seen as a littleintrusive. If "hi" turns into a good conversation, then of course ask for hername (and number, eventually); if not, just move on.

"Wait a minute! Can't I be funny?! I thought women like guys with a good senseof humor!" you might be thinking. The answer is, we absolutely do, if it isnatural and not forced. If you make a joke about the drunk guy screaming at theend of the bar, that's great. If you come up to us and tell us a joke out ofnowhere, not so great. You come off looking desperate. And that, of course, isnot what you want!

"What about her appearance?" you might be asking. "Can I tell her how hot sheis?" Well, this one's a little tricky. While I repeat my mantra that women LOVEcompliments, you have to match your intensity to the situation. If you walk upto a girl who is not a porn star and tell her she is hot and sexy, yes, she'llbe flattered - but she'll also feel put on the spot. She'll probably assume youonly want to sleep with her - and even if that's not true, she won't believe it. This will put her in a defensive mode and it will be hard to get her to trustyou. Better to say something like, "That's a beautiful dress". Don't talkabout her body - it's presumptuous and can be seen as insulting.

And whatever you do, don't spout a gag line. One example is "If I said you hada beautiful body, would you hold it against me?" (Get it? "Hold it against me"has two meanings; being annoyed at someone about something and also literallyholding something against someone physically.)

So just say a simple "hello", make an observation about what is going on aroundyou in the moment, and hopefully you'll be on your way to a great conversationwith a great girl.