Penelope

When we heard that Kristen Wiig retired two of her SNL characters, we had the same heart palpitations you’re having right now. We just want to reassure you: it is not Dooneese. We could watch that tiny-hand, giant-forehead wonder in ever sketch from now until the earth runs out of electricity to power our space houses. In an interview with Time, theBridesmaids star confirms that we have seen the last of Gilly the mischievously homicidal school girl and Penelope the perpetual braggart. Though can it really be considered bragging if she actually is best friends with Liza Minnelli and a tomato? Wiig elected to retire the characters before they got too stale, and refuses to bring them back even at producer Lorne Michaels‘ request. We’re sad to see them go, especially since we didn’t think they were played out. Men, if Bill Hader retires Stefon at any foreseeable point in the future, we will hurl our hologram TVs through our moon windows.