Wearable Pad Keeps Farts From Stinking

If you have been scouring the internet looking for the most inappropriate gift you can give someone, you're in luck: the Flatulence Deodorizer is here.

The 'Flat-D' — seriously, they call it that — is a thin, disposable charcoal pad designed to be worn between your butt and your clothes. Much like the way Dr. Scholl's Odor-X Odor Fighting Insoles wage war against stank feet, the Flat-D fights an even bigger menace: farts!

The charcoal inside the Flat-D helps filter out nasty gas, while you toot away because of Irritable Bowel Syndrome, lactose intolerance, or, say, a six-pack of the new Doritos Locos Tacos at Taco Bell.

The manufacturer promises no more smelly episodes, horrible odors or embarrassing situations. It also advises us that there is no cure for flatulence (yet it doesn't explain why there hasn't been at least one telethon or car wash designed to raise funds to fight this dreaded condition).

A 30-pack of Flat-Ds will cost you $29.95 — see, $1 a-day CAN help our environment.

Bonus: Chronic sufferers — and wives dealing with Dutch Oven Syndrome — can graduate to the Gas Sack, a fart-holding charcoal pocket/sleeping bag designed to make your sleepy-time decidedly less smelly.