Andy Marte showed last night that he may be more valuable on the disabled list than in the lineup. In his first game back from injury against the Red Sox, the perennially putrid prospect committed a whopping three errors…IN THE FIRST INNING.

On better days Andy Marte’s usually regarded as a pretty average fielder, with a UZR rating of -.8 at third base according to Fangraphs’ mighty fielding database. But unfortunately for Marte and the Indians’ sporting hopes and dreams, he was momentarily possessed by the blundering soul of 1998 Chuck Knoblauch as baseballs kept coming and his hands kept flubbing.

Marte made two errors at third base on one play Thursday night. He is the first major league player charged with three errors in an inning since third baseman Andy Gonzalez of the Chicago White Sox did it in the third inning of a game on Aug. 30, 2007.

According to the Elias Sports Bureau, the last Indians player to commit three errors in an inning was shortstop Frank Duffy on Sept. 24, 1972 — in the 11th inning of the first game of a doubleheader against the New York Yankees.

Marte’s miscues led to three unearned runs as the Red Sox took a 4-0 lead. –Y! News

The keynote performance of failure happened when he bobbled away a grounder by Mike Cameron, scrambled to pick it up and blindly fired a laser to first base that ended up somewhere in ball-girl country for the very impressive double error. In my little league days I was a 4’2″ ten-year-old left-handed third basemen/outfielder who didn’t make contact or cleanly field a ball for an ENTIRE SEASON and even I’m embarrassed by what Marte did as a major league ballplayer.

Andy, here’s a piece of advice. On grounders, hide behind the third base umpire and then argue that his interference impeded your vision. It probably won’t work but hey, it’s more effective than whatever you’re doing.