Thursday, January 3, 2013

A bubble in the world

We rested in bed
afterwards, making out at a slow, languished pace, enjoying each other’s skin
and touch. The night almost turned into morning before we fell asleep. Days and
nights flew away, until we were forced to leave the real world and return to
the fake and ugly.

Sis and I began
dressing the same. We aren't twins, but are born in the same year and attended
the same class, so it became quite visible. We dyed what was blond and brown
hair black. By using the same makeup we very much resembled identical twins.
And we stayed together more. A lot was implied by our behavior, even though we
weren't obvious about it. We were very aware of how what society and the public
would do if the truth was revealed.

I've always been
quite fond of the nonverbal method, at least to a point. We revealed it without
revealing it, and we turned our proud face at the world, and the world disliked
a lot. Today’s society doesn't appreciate pride in general and when pride comes
from breaking one of the most extreme taboos there is the world becomes
seriously pissed. We thought we were prepared, but our optimism was quickly
exposed as the ivory tower it was.

Time passed and even
if there were lots of ugly stares and bullying we dealt with it with a superior
arrogance. Those judging us didn't know for sure, but the suspicion alone was
sufficient in their eyes. That is often so. We hadn't been bullied before, but
now we were. Tove called it «our new Era. To us that new era had a beyond
positive connotations, because we were together. The bad and downright ugly
stuff didn't really matter that much compared to that.

People have,
completely serious told us that we are at fault, that we are to blame, and that
we can’t expect being treated differently when we «behave the way we do». In
our darkest moments we agree with them. That’s the true horror of bullying. It
makes its victims question their very core. We know intellectually that those
being treated badly aren't responsible for people’s cruelty, prejudice and
intolerance. We know that stupid laws and silly morality gaining support long
before we were born have or should have nothing to do with us. But doubt haunts
us. We are, like everybody else a product of the society we grew up in, and
shame has been beaten into us from an early age.

We left our home and
hometown as soon as we possibly could, and moved to the big city and student
life. We did so willingly, «voluntarily» because we were finally fed up, but in
truth we couldn't have kept it going for much longer. Now, we hardly hide ourselves
at all and enjoy that immensely.

About me

Lise has turned twenty-five and doesn't like it very much. They say it's halfway to fifty. Aside from that Lise has no problems. She has earned a philosophy masters degree at the University of Bergen, and is indeed a very philosophical person, something expressing itself in a number of ways. Lise is Lise, but is otherwise very mysterious, and even though you may feel you recognize her, you would be wrong. She is probably not the mature, sophisticated woman in the office near you.