“I Would Totally Go Clubbing With My Mom”

Jennifer: I would take him to party in a club with me and my mom. Lavo, maybe. Do you know why Lavo?

Ashley: Oh, sigh. No, Jennifer. No I do not know why Lavo. Do they serve some kind of sandwiches?

Jennifer: Because their chicken and waffles are delicious!

Ashley: Of course.

Jennifer: I really like them. Do you know what I liked about Bungalow 8?

Ashley: I know this one! Grilled cheese?

Jennifer: Grilled cheese sandwiches! In other news, it’s sad that I can’t surprise you anymore. Maybe tomorrow I’ll come in screaming about being kidnapped, that’ll be pretty surprising.

Ashley: I would probably just calmly repeat that you aren’t being kidnapped, because that works on most people (not Michael Lohan?). Also, most people go clubbing to do a bunch of blow and have sex with strangers. You may be the only one who goes to Lavo for waffles.

Jennifer: So, what I’m getting at, is I’m very bad at clubbing. I’m sort of like a Morlock just wandering into any given club. So, I move my hands around a little bit and I get really excited about the food. I realize that anyone who went to a club with me would probably handle it in a cooler way, including my own mother. Also, since I see clubs only as “waffle and chicken joints” I think it would be perfectly reasonable to bring anyone there. My mother, my grandmother, the nice elderly postman who gives me magazines other people don’t want, a homeless person, anyone.

I went “clubbing” with my mom a couple weekends ago. We drank some wine and danced to soul music with my friends. It was fun! I don’t think that’s the kind of clubbing we are talking about here, though.

Jessie

I was just casually hate – looking through (read: unabashedly hate – creeping through) a high school acquaintances photo album of the hideous wedding she just had. I noticed that her mom came with her on her bachelorette and I just found it plain weird. I know some gals invite their mom along for their evening/weekend of debauchery and penile paraphernalia – but honestly I just don’t get it. I love my mom with ever fiber of my being – but there is a time and a place to get drunk and say inappropriate aloud to one another, and it’s Thanksgiving.