Archive for the Alyson Hannigan Category

This time..the bikini should be a snow suit….and the girl in the bikini should be taken out back and shot…or at least never allowed on camera..because for the entirety of her career, from Buffy to American Pie…to Big Bang Theory…or whatever that show about your mother is…she’s always made me question humanity…or why anyone would let something like that on TV…She must have great management, or serious connections, because she belongs in the mailroom, even though mailroom’s don’t exist anymore…thanks internet…just put her there so we don’t have to see her…right..

You know the kind of girl who despite having a kid is kinda ripped and fit, but not one I’d want to see half naked under any circumstances…you know because even when they had her talking about masturbating or being the horny freaky nerd in the one movie she did…it was disgusting…because she is disgusting…

You’d have to be Buffy fan to really get down with these, and if you’re a buffy fan, it’s safe to say this is the most pussy you’ve had all year..

She wasn’t hot 10 years ago, so she’s sure as not hot now that she’s had a couple of kids…so rocking’ her bikini may not make sense to the average person…but at least she’s not fat…even if she’s disgusting..

She’s the bootleg Lindsay Lohan from the same era….who couldn’t get fucked by the cast of Buffy, except when they were drunk…

Apparently, no one has told her she’s got no fucking sex appeal, known for using a flute to masturbate and band camp while being the girl no one want to see masturabte…

Alyson Hannigan is so desperate for cock that she was seen out on the street practicing how to spread eagle her shit in hopes sperm would accidentally land in her and get her pregnant again…only she didn’t realize it works better when you’re not wearing pants and the dude she’s getting down with is drunk, medicated, or confused about whether cumming in a cartoon character of a pussy will actually knock her up or not….cuz he’s too focused ont he fact that he’s fucking a cartoon pussy…you know what I’m saying…and if you’re not…it that’s not everything is as beautiful as the Royal Wedding…if you know what I mean…

Here is some bullshit Funny or Die video, even though I hate Funny or Die, but it’s a lot easier to post than pictures cuz I am lazy.

The video is about a group of almost celebs talking about breast cancer and giving themselves self checks, and the whole thing is fucking boring, even when Alyson Hannigan feels up one of the bitches. You could just press play to find all this boring out for yourself, instead of making me do this recap cuz I am lazy….

The joke is weak as fuck, but I like celebrating tits and saving girls everywhere from having to chop them off, because I am a fucking hero when it comes to tits, so I figure I’ll post it for you to masturbate to.

The fact that Alyson Hannigan looks like she’s pregnant, you know, with that crazy fucker rubbing her belly and smiling like some kind of pervert trying to lure me into his van, means that Alyson Hannigan gets fucked and that disgusts me. I realize that most girls have sex, despite me not wanting to imagine what that shit looks like because they just aren’t up to par, so naturally, I was happy thinking that this orange haired demon was celibate, truth is that she has so little sex appeal that I was convinced she was some kind of pussyless creature created in Hollywood, because whenever I see pictures of her, that’s I just can’t imagine her having genitals, or using those genitals, or anyone wanting to play with those genitals, even if drunk, desperate, lookin’ for citizenship, broke, confused, a fame whore with limited options, totally unstable or crazy.

All that shoving a flute in her cunt in American Pie was gross enough, but knowing that the people behind that movie felt the same way that I did about her, you know casting her as the gross girl with no sex appeal and shit, not to mention shit was a movie and anything is possible in a movie, no matter how outrageous shit is, made it ok, but now we are faced with the reality that she is a woman and does have a vagina and does use that vagina and that is a horrible way to start my weekend…but you’ll probably like this shit, because you live, breathe and sleep everything Buffy, so it’ll help your expired fantasies of breeding with her a possibility, I am sure you have enough time on your hands to photoshop your face up on that guy she’s with, you know considering you’re reading this site on a fucking Weekend you fucking asshole….

Here are some pictures of Alyson Hannigan pretending that she wasn’t born with red hair and that she doesn’t have orange pubic hair, because everyone knows that the only person who doesn’t throw up when seeing a bright pink vagina against a pasty freckled body wearing a fluorescent orange vagina hat, is either a virgin who is dying for pussy or a sexual deviant who either likes anything that comes his way, or anything he’s never fucked before. The good news is that every girl I’ve met with orange hair has kept her pussy bald more compulsively than any other girl, because even they find it fuckin’ disgusting, so stray hairs and stubble don’t exist. So if a bald pussy is your thing, go for the redhead, she’s probably more inclined to let you in and give you what you want, mainly because no sane person is fuckin’ her…you better watch out if she turns on you though, redheads are a different kind of human, one who’s genetic code is stronger than the average man and that’s because in the middle ages, people thought their fire hair kids were the spawn of the devil, and were brought out and left in the woods to fend for themselves, so the only ones who survived to reproduce were some kind of superhuman and that strong man gene has followed them right up until today. So as much as you want to laugh at your redheaded peers, you shouldn’t because they will hurt you. True story.

I am a huge fan of low maintenance girls who can just role out of bed and go out and do their errands lookin’ hot as fuck without any effort, while rocking a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. It’s some natural beauty shit that you never really get to experience, because most people look like shit when they wake up.

Here are some pictures of Alyson Hannigan rockin’ out in her pajamas like she just woke up and she’s doing it as well as she can, because let’s face it, the only way this bitch will ever look hot is if someone replaced her with a new cast member and locked her away in some cage in a basement or some shit. Even when she is made up and out at events , she still looks like a fuckin’ monster, and I’d love to just blame it one her being a Ginger because Gingers generally scare the fuck out of me since they aren’t human and spawns of the devil, but I think it’s got more to do with her face.

I guess we can keep dreaming that one day Alyson Hannigan will be replaced like she was on a soap opera or like she was the mother on Fresh Prince of Bel Air, or like an old condemned building being torn down and replaced with luxury condos and no one would really notice the change, because all of a sudden this bitch no one notices now will become some hot slut we all want to bang and will just accept the new version as if the old falling apart version never existed.

Either way, here she is lookin’ low maintenance, like she just crawled out of bed, like the hot chicks I see running errands or studying in the library, when she should be putting all the effort and money she can into herself if she ever wants dudes jerking off to her, which she does, because all girls want that.

I am a huge fan of low maintenance girls who can just role out of bed and go out and do their errands lookin’ hot as fuck without any effort, while rocking a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. It’s some natural beauty shit that you never really get to experience, because most people look like shit when they wake up.

Here are some pictures of Alyson Hannigan rockin’ out in her pajamas like she just woke up and she’s doing it as well as she can, because let’s face it, the only way this bitch will ever look hot is if someone replaced her with a new cast member and locked her away in some cage in a basement or some shit. Even when she is made up and out at events , she still looks like a fuckin’ monster, and I’d love to just blame it one her being a Ginger because Gingers generally scare the fuck out of me since they aren’t human and spawns of the devil, but I think it’s got more to do with her face.

I guess we can keep dreaming that one day Alyson Hannigan will be replaced like she was on a soap opera or like she was the mother on Fresh Prince of Bel Air, or like an old condemned building being torn down and replaced with luxury condos and no one would really notice the change, because all of a sudden this bitch no one notices now will become some hot slut we all want to bang and will just accept the new version as if the old falling apart version never existed.

Either way, here she is lookin’ low maintenance, like she just crawled out of bed, like the hot chicks I see running errands or studying in the library, when she should be putting all the effort and money she can into herself if she ever wants dudes jerking off to her, which she does, because all girls want that.

Here is a picture of Alyson Hannigan in fuck me boots, because fuck me boots were so fucking popular a few years ago that everywhere you went girls would be rockin’ them with a hot short skirt, but for some reason shit shifted, fuck me boots were considered too whorish for girls to wear, because they were called fuck me boots, and they were done feeding into the degradation. Maybe they got a boyfriend or became a feminist or some kind of hippie tree hugger who works at the organic food store who hates me because I don’t recycle and doesn’t wear shoes because they find them oppressive but I know they are still out there and Alsyon Hannigan is reminding us that they exist while reminding us that she still exists because let’s face it, being casted as the ugly chick in American Pie should have broken her down enough to realize that she’s the ugly chick no one wants to see on screen.

Either way, it’s too bad that this bitch has to be the one reminding us that Fuck Me Boots are still around because no one wants to fuck her, she’s probably wearing the boots in efforts to get fucked because it’s understood what they imply…the next best thing to wearing fuck me boots would be to wear a “Please Fuck Me” hat, or to walk around, vagina exposed, grabbing her box screaming “I NEED FUCKING DICK”.

That said, I was outside for a few hours and saw some girl who was probably barely 18 walking to school and she was wearing these boots that went up to her fucking vagina. They were some next level pretty woman shit, with a stiletto heel and all, and she was with her mom and I was fuckin’ thrown off as fuck. But not as thrown off as the time my friend told me that he wanted to bang Alyson Hannigan, that shit was just too much to handle and I had no choice but to “peace” on that friendship. That was me using terms of the generation. I am trying to cater to a younger crowd.

Alyson Hannigan really likes to rub in the fact that ugly bitches can make it in life. She’s all like look at me, I am on the beach somewhere because I made so much money being a useless celebrity no one jerked off to because they cast me as the ugly chick no one wanted to fuck. She’s all like even though people didn’t want to fuck me, I still got cock and convinced some asshole to think he loves me because I distracted him with luxury living and nice trips to the beach as long as he pretends to love me.

I know that girls are generally the ones who go for the ugly guys who have shit going for them, whether it’s the nice house, nice car or expensive shopping days, but Alyson Hannigan is breaking down gender stereotypes by flipping shit around on us.

I remember when I used to try to have sex with chicks, showing them a 100 dollar bill was pretty much enough to get them home with me for an hour, but those girls were also working the streets like whores, because they were whores, but I still think I had my taste of what fame and fortune brings you and I fucking loved it.