Friday, June 27, 2014

WORD OF THE DAY! 6/27/14!

cult of personality [kult-uv-per-sun-al-i-tee]noun1. A cultpromotingadulationofalivingnationalleaderorpublicfigure,asoneencouragedbyStalintoextendhispower.EX. I have successfully found a way out of my contract with North Korea, after years of attempting to escape from the compound where they keep most bloggers, by stealing the PSP Vita of the "God-Son of Heaven", Kim Jong Un, and threatening to throw it in a trash disposal unless he release me from the pinky promise we made after a night of swilling wine brewed in the bladder of a panda and stuffing our guts with gold leaf crusted truffles. No longer do I carry the oppressive yoke of praising the great leader or his dance moves or continuing to promote his cult of personality. I can finally give it to you straight.

His haircut is bad.

Oh, also, he is just the third tyrant in his family to serve as a living god in North Korea, worshiped, adored, and prayed to by his people. His people starve, living in the crumbling remnants of a never finished paradise, like some sort of post apocalyptic film made by a foreign director. Except it is not fiction and the world keeps on turning. Meanwhile, as the world watches with bemusement and disgust, they feel powerless to stop the gloomy living nightmare of daily life in North Korea; defectors tell horror stories of the worst sorts of treatment imaginable, ranging from torture to rape to experimentation to an estimated death toll of 10,000 prisoners every year. Any opposition or criticism lobbied against the North Korean government is either shrugged off as propaganda against the state, a state propped up by propaganda and violence, or met with idle threats about nuclear retaliation. Even the release of this film trailer has been met with threats of retaliation against Seth Rogen and James Franco.

And we can do nothing but laugh, bitterly, at the insanity. And make bad jokes. About bad hair.