Only three semifinalists from last night’s grueling duel to the AGT finish line won the chance to move on to the final round.

Before learning their favorites’ fates, America was subjected to a triple-X-worthy and far from comical assessment of the remaining AGT talent from stage veteran Steve Harvey, whom Nick Cannon called his mentor.

Judging by Steve’s version of “funny,” Nick should choose to follow an actual comedian and not an extremely toothy, joke-killing impostor who simply fills up time for ad revenue.

However, the audience’s long collective yawn that followed Steve’s unamusing “I am [Edon’s] real daddy!” comment was the perfect segue into the night’s first elimination round. There were four rounds that culminated in a final gut-wrenching selection of the three finalists.

Turf, Joe Castillo and The Scott Brothers were first up on the chopping block. The Scott Brothers expressed their disagreement with the judges’ critique from last night when they were told that they needed a memorable trick to win America’s votes.

The Brothers vehemently attested that they were more than just tricks, but America ultimately decided to make the two disappear from the AGT stage when sand man Joe Castillo was chosen to win the top spot.

Next, the AGT train made an obligatory stop at sponsor-ville station. In the AGT Orville lounge, America beheld the usual sponsor-paid foolery at its finest. But the next round of elimination managed to wipe the constructed smiles from off the contestants’ faces.

Andrew de Leon will get to ignore Sharon’s advice and showcase his own brand of snake-eyed scary to opera enthusiasts because he was sent slithering away with Academy of Villains at his shirttails.

It was all about William Close whom Howard was convinced would eventually steal the entire AGT show, calling Close “The Real Deal.” Howard’s Wild Card wonder Todd Oliver landed a consecutive spot in the top four, beating out Edon and lovebirds Donovan and Rebecca.

With an Andrew Dice Clay lookalike on drums, rock band “Neon Trees” displayed a medley of eras and musical styles in their single “Everybody Talks” performance.

Tom Cotter won the final spot in the top four before facing yet another distressing elimination with co-champions Todd Oliver, William Close and Joe Castillo. William Close and Tom Cotter were clearly finals’ material, and the judges chose profound meaning over dog dribble by picking Joe Castillo over Todd Oliver to round off the final three for the night.

Next week, 12 more semifinalists will fight to the AGT end to win a spot in the finals.

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