Now you can have a mattress that rats out your cheating spouse

Jazz ShawPosted at 4:31 pm on April 20, 2016

If you’re worried that your significant other might be sneaking around on you and even bringing a lover into your own bed you may not have to hire a private detective to find out in the near future. In the latest sign of technology outpacing any concerns over privacy or the way things used to be, there is now a mattress that will spy on you (or your partner) when the other person isn’t around. (Fox News)

If you suspect that your significant other is bringing others into your bedroom, you could have an adult conversation about it or seek couple’s counseling. Alternatively, you can buy a $1,700 smart mattress called the Smarttress that will tell you when your partner is having sex with someone that isn’t you.

Smarttress is the invention of Durmet, a Spanish mattress company that was inspired by the fact that Madrid has the highest number of cheating spouses in Europe. It features 24 sensors within the springs, which the company calls the “Lover Detection System.”

Personally, I still think that far too many of our household products are getting unnecessarily complicated and “smarter” than they really need to be. I honestly don’t need my refrigerator to scan the bar codes of everything going in and out so it can order more milk before I realize that I’m near the end of the container or if it’s out of date. (Yes.. that’s a thing.) I’ve seen commercials for mattresses that “adjust” to your body contour and support you properly, and I suppose that might be of some value if you have serious spinal problems, but it still strikes me as a bit extreme. As to this mattress, it’s not trying to give you a better night’s sleep unless you mean that you stay up all night worrying over whether or not you’re being cuckolded.

This is all just depressing. (And yes, you darn kids can get off my lawn now.) How much spying do we want our devices to do? I’ll admit that in some cases it might help solve crimes, but beyond that it just seems creepy.

What’s that you say? You weren’t aware that your personal electronics can act as detectives for the police? Well, if you’ve got a Fitbit to help with your personal training routine you may want to ditch it before engaging in any dodgy activity. Not only can it help catch criminals, in one case it caught up a woman who had apparently filed a fake rape claim. (Fusion)

In March, a Florida woman traveled to Lancaster, Pennsylvania where she stayed at her boss’s home, reports ABC 27. On a Tuesday, police were called to the home where they found overturned furniture, a knife and a bottle of vodka, according to Lancaster Online. Jeannine Risley told police she’d been sleeping and that she was woken up around midnight and sexually assaulted by a “man in his 30s, wearing boots.” However, Risley was wearing her Fitbit band at the time. She initially said that the Fitbit had been lost in the struggle, but police found it in a hallway and when they downloaded its activity, the device became a witness against her.

Read the rest at the link for Risley’s full story. Her claim of being assaulted fell apart quickly after her Fitbit data was examined. So we’re actually paying good money to have gadgets attached to our bodies like cyborgs and they are collecting all sorts of interesting data. Will that wind up being used against you in court? And even if you’re living the pure life, will your details show up on social media after you get hacked through the Internet of Things?

I’ll stick with my old mattress, thanks. And if I want somebody to nag me about whether I’m exercising enough I already have a wife.