Beginning a quest is always challenging because one is filled with doubts, concerns, worries and fear of failure. Perhaps, that explains why many of us have never got any of our grandiose plans even started. It also explains why the vast majority continue to walk down the ‘oft trod path’; lamenting or ruing their destiny. Each of us is given the freedom to explore options but we are often tethered by our dogmas and beliefs, our prejudices and our fears, our self limiting thinking and our inaction. As a result we continue to walk the beaten path lamenting our fate without daring to indulge in a latent passion or pursue a deep desire. The net result is that we just do not start; the dreams we have remain just pipe dreams; the future remains predictable and largely futile as compared to our hopes, aspirations and ambitions.

If you are someone with a burning desire to explore opportunities beyond the mundane and predictable, the starting point must be planning. The planning process begins with the setting up of a goal/ objective. This is then fleshed out in the form of details being added, so as to ensure as many variables as possible are identified and a plan to manage it, spelled out. It is important to bear in mind that no plan is fool proof and that a start date must be identified so that the plan is put into action. The way forward is in starting the implementation of your plan.

It is possible that a plan set in motion would face challenges. Despite the best of preparations, unforeseen and unpredictable hurdles could derail the plans. Many of these hurdles are self inflicted and often the result of tardy planning or self doubt or overconfidence. You may falter, you may have setbacks, you could begin to doubt yourself along the way but the goal must be to keep going. Of course there could come a time when either because you are prudent or because circumstances are beyond your control, that you will be forced to stop and give up. Take this setback in your stride. Having begun with confidence and hope is in itself a victory over your inhibitions and a testimony to your determination.

You will, if you move ahead as per plans, make progress. This will embolden you and be a great motivator to push ahead even if you progress is slow and even if the goal seems distant. Eventually you may reach the goal but perhaps not as planned and there could be a feeling of dejection. Yet, it is in reaching the goal, finishing the race and stretching your limits, that you realize how strong a person you are. If you did not start or if you gave up midway, you will never experience the thrill of realizing your potential, knowing your strengths and stretching yourself to attain new limits.

Your victory is in getting over your doubts, your inertia, yourself limiting beliefs and instead becoming proactive, resolute and focused on bringing about a change in your mind, body and spirit.

Start now, push ahead and realize your dreams.

Try these

If you had just a week to live, how would you prioritize your life so that you have no regrets on the last day?

What steps can you take immediately, to do the following:

Raise a significant sum of money for a charity of your choice

Give a suggestion to your local corporator / MP / Union minister in connection with an idea you have to improve the current services

At times we try to analyze ourselves and realize that while we have much to cheer about, we also have much more to rue. We do not like our limitations, our burdens and resent our shortcomings that are accentuated when compared to others. Rarely do we enjoy our own company or luxuriate in the knowledge that each individual is a very unique person; so very different from his/ her own peers, friends and even siblings.

It is MY individuality that I need to appreciate, embrace and celebrate.

Appreciate my individuality– It is reflected in diverse aspects of my personality

The first step is to believe you are unique… different from your siblings, your twin and from every other human being ever created or to be created. Once you realize this, it should be a strong motivator for you to leverage your uniqueness and showcase your identity to the world. Far too often we associate academic or sporting brilliance at an early age as a sure sign of future success. The reality is that with few exceptions, most of those who showed early promise could not cope with the pressures of the world or did not have the nerve to move out of their comfort zone and make a unique mark. Of course the word successful is relative. As long as you use your talents, promise and abilities to become someone better than anyone hoped you would, it could be a fair indicator of talent. A better measure would be if you are happy with what you have achieved and do not have any regrets about not fulfilling your promise, that would be real success.

To become what you are capable of, focus on these:

Believe in yourself – Have the confidence that you have it in you to do something special. While academic excellence could boost your chances of doing well, it is actually the self belief, the discipline and the passion that one brings in, that opens the doors to achievement and success. Self belief also fortifies you against nay-sayers, the critics, those who discourage you and those who constantly belittle your progress. Self belief gives you the energy to carry on when progress seems slow or non-existent and when obstacles and failures occasionally threaten to derail your plans.

Be prepared to learn – Every type of formal learning as well the experiences of each passing day, gives invaluable practical learning. The challenge is to be open minded and willing to soak in the learning. Occasionally the learning can be tough and painful; other times it can be easy and simple. The key is to seek out the learning each day and put it into practice by adopting / adapting good practices and giving a wide berth / avoiding the bad practices.

Be prepared to fail – Failure is an essential requirement for success, for it is the true measure that explains life’s uncertainties and challenges. It also prepares one to anticipate troubles, teaches one to think creatively, toughens one to face adversities and most of all it helps one to realize one’s own potential, passion and purpose. Failure is also a sure sign that one is trying and doing something and not merely day dreaming.

Be prepared to take risks –Although one is prepared to fail, there is always the psychological barrier that often limits us from daring, moving out of our comfort zone and taking the big leap. Many a time it is the outcome of ‘paralysis by analysis’. Other times it is simply because the going is good and so why test one’s potential attitude. Unless one thirsts for success, enhances one’s benchmark, craves to make a mark, the risk taking ability remains dormant. Visualizing the big picture, focusing on the ultimate goal and challenging yourself are the best ways to take risks and realize one’s latent potential.

Keep going – There could be setbacks, you could get tired and discouraged and occasionally the mind would waver and set in motion negative thoughts. Pause but do not stop. Catch your breath, reinforce your zeal, get inspired by your vision, be motivated by the challenge you have taken up and keep going.

You have a point to prove to yourself; to be somebody nobody thought you could be !

Try these:

List out the 5 – 10 things you were keen on doing but which others discouraged you from doing or that which people said was beyond your capability. Now choose one which you are still passionate about and set yourself a deadline and a plan of action to achieve it. Begin now.

If you have an audience, what is the one ability that you can showcase and grab their attention? It could be a magic/ card trick, an exquisite piece of musical talent, it could be mimicry, cartooning or painting or sketching, telling your favorite joke in your own unique style, creating your own limerick instantaneously etc.

Every day presents an opportunity but along it with it comes some challenges. Those who make the best of their life, focus on the opportunity and accept the reality that the challenges have to be coped with. Those who are frustrated are actually the people who fail to grab their opportunities and instead worry about the challenges they imagine, even before they encounter it. A classic case are students who stress themselves imagining the vastness of the syllabus, the complexity of individual subjects and their own distorted priorities that won’t allow them to prepare well. Suddenly exam time looms ahead and then they panic.

Happiness is a choice every individual makes no matter what the situation. Perhaps it would help to adopt the following rules to be happy:

Seek out positives – This is largely dependent on the attitude we adopt and how we train our mind. In every situation look out for what is good, find out how you can make the best of the opportunity and have the self belief that you can cope with it. Take a game like soccer and you will notice that the world class strikers create the opportunities to score goals. They don’t wait for the ball to come, they do not hope the defenders make mistakes but they believe that they are ready to muscle their way in and connect with the ball and score.

Downplay negatives– The first thing to bear in mind is that we are rarely alone when facing challenges so we need to get rid of the feeling of martyrdom. Look at challenges as temporary setbacks. Look at challenges as brining out the best in you; your talents, your creativity, your resilience and your self-belief. Do not let difficulties become the focus of your attention instead treat it like a handicap that every golfer loves to overcome.

Make it fun – The key to enjoying life is to have fun while living. Smile, joke, play, be creative, take some risks, enjoy your wins and do not let a failure dampen your spirits. The sweetness of success tastes sweeter when it is achieved by overcoming stiff competition, enormous challenges and under the most trying circumstances. The fun is in enjoying the process, the journey, the competition.

Try again – So you did all the above and yet you didn’t succeed. It sure hurts especially when you miss out by a whisker. Imagine a tennis player being two sets up and then going on to lose the next three sets. It sure hurts as hell. However, a professional would be back again with renewed confidence and vigor to rightfully claim back his title which he believed is his. The heart of winner shouts out I will be back. Make that your mantra too.

Make the right choice – Happiness is a choice. Take that choice every time. You don’t need a reason to be happy; just smile. When feeling low think of a joke, a humorous episode or incident, sing a song, admire the beauty around you. Simply distract yourself to something pleasant.

The beauty of life is in its variety, its surprises, its plot twists, its challenges and opportunities but most of all life’s wonder lies in its uniqueness for each one of us. The divergence that seems to pervade each one’s life is also the one that flavors each one’s life to make it special and unique. It poses us a challenge; make it your own story; script it the way you want it and always bear in mind you are the hero/ heroine of that blockbuster. The challenge is best met by being aware of the following:

Embrace life warmly – No one is perfect. No one has everything one wants. All the riches cannot buy happiness. Life is a blessing gifted to you. Embrace it warmly for no one else can live your life. Stop cribbing; seek opportunities; let failures not limit your movement forward and learn to appreciate your blessings.

Be the change– If you want to enhance the quality of your life don’t wait for luck or fate to make it happen. You will have to tempt fate by changing yourself and attempting to tread the path of your dreams. You may be discouraged at times, you may have to retrace your steps occasionally, sometimes you are on a roller coaster ride but land with a thud; get back on the ride. Let nothing stop you from progressing.

Do something– Sometimes life sucks as the young people like to say. It happens to the best of us. The mantra is when ‘when life sucks don’t get stuck’ ; do something to keep the momentum going so that your heaving yourself out of the pit that you landed in. Be creative, be bold, be different, think out of the box, act upon your instincts and inspirations; don’t just give in- do something.

Live,laugh,leap– A lot of people merely exist; they don’t live. Do not let life sap your energy. Instead find a way to make your life the solar panel from which draw on from, when there is darkness setting in. Laughter is the oil of life that lubricates the tough times that befall us. After all a smile is curve that sets everything straight. Don’t just let life meander along but take a giant leap to discover how far you can jump or test how high you can rise. The view would be different too. The fun is a huge bonus.

Stop,pause,breathe – Do not become part of the rat race. You have to race only against yourself. The race is measured not in terms of distance traversed as much as experiences embraced, number of times you have got after stumbling or falling, discovering latent potential that you possessed and surprising yourself daily. Enjoy the process, the progress and the possibilities that you discover. Stop to stand and stare, pause to catch your breath and breathe deep and recharge yourself with the elixir called life.

Is there anything that binds all the above? What is stopping you from following your passion? How can you imitate your role model ( assuming that your focus will be on the role model’s qualities that are worth emulating) . Are you adopting the proverb in your daily life and making it work for you?

With exams around the corner, it is inevitable that students and often their parents feel the pressure of managing the study time tables so as to perform well. That is also the time when time pressure, the accumulated backlog of studies and the need to overhaul one’s life suddenly begins to overwhelm all the stake holders in this game. A similar situations crop up in our life off and on and the need to overhaul our life is the one common constant irrespective of which phase of life we are in. In trying to overhaul one’s life, the cardinal mistake we make is, thinking that we can overturn all the bad habits we have imbibed over the years, overnight. Just as you and I took nine months to be born, just like a year takes twelve months to change and a day requires 24 hours to be completed before a new day begins, we have to patiently work on small changes in our attitude, style and behavior before the effects of transformation are visible.

The four essentials for transformation are:

Deciding to change– This is the first step in bring about any meaningful change in one’s life. Until one decides to change, the status quo would always seem impossible to change. Excuses, rationalization and reconciliation with the existing situation would constantly nag you into succumbing to the status quo. Decide that you need to change your habits, your style, adopt a different strategy E.g. You know you have to spend more hours studying. You will find enough reasons why you are unable to do so and rationalize your decision for not being able to change and finally reconcile that you are a mediocre student. The same holds true for those wanting to lose weight but not being able to get themselves to eat healthy or exercise.

Planning the change– Once you decide to change, the key is to spend some time planning how you are going to bring about the change and be the change you want. Many of us fail in this step simply because we visualize that implementation of the plan is impossible. If you can outline the map to achieving what your goal is, you would at least have a clear agenda to follow. E.g. Having a clear time table to study is the first step in ensuring you are able to do justice to each subject that you have to study. Those subjects requiring practice or additional study, however much you dislike the subject, must be allotted more time.

Implementing the change– This is the toughest part of the process of transformation. At this stage you are attempting to move away from all that you felt comfortable doing despite knowing the consequences, to disciplining yourself doing unpleasant things, in the hope that it will give you good results. The tough part is beginning, the tougher part is motivating yourself to continue but the toughest part is keeping the momentum going. The trick is to visualize the small changes, mentally see yourself inching yourself forward towards your goals and occasionally noting how much you have progressed and how closer you are to your final goal.

Being patient – This is the most important virtue because without it, one would be tempted to give up. Patience comes from self belief, from charting out progress and being reasonable about your expectations at every given time line. Occasionally you could be slipping as per your plans, at other times you feel your pace is slow and many times there seems to be no motivation to pursue your plans. Remember the number of times you fell of your bicycle before you managed to master it or the number of times you felt you were drowning before you learned to swim. The lure of the eventual goal must be so encompassing that you become patient enough to trudge along despite all the obstacles that come your way.

Try these:

Try to play a new sport or pick up a new hobby. Notice how you take time to gain expertise, despite your possible talent in that field.

List out 3 changes that you want to bring about in your life. Outline what is stopping you from doing it. Plan and implement the plan to bring about the change.

Challenge yourself to overcome a constant criticism that you often encounter either from your spouse / child/ friend / colleague / well wisher.

Excuses come naturally to us. It is our defense mechanism against inertia, criticism and failure. Part of the reason is our upbringing. As children, if we were encouraged, appreciated and motivated chances are that we minimize excuses and focus on getting results. On the other hand, if as children we were discouraged from exploring, criticized for failing and shouted at for the mess created rather than appreciated for the outcome, excuses are the only shield we have to take refuge under. Unfortunately, over time, excuses become an extension of our personality and we rationalize every unsavory action of ours with creative excuses, most times merely fooling ourselves.

Once we remove excuses from our lexicon the benefits are enormous; just try it and see the difference.

You begin to dare/ explore – Fear of failure and criticisms are the two red flags that often derail our hopes and ambitions. We limit our actions to only those that we are sure will succeed, those that meet approval of peers and elders and those that are tried and tested. We have ready excuses for anything untoward. Give up excuses and then you become more daring and start exploring options that you are passionate about. Success and failure are just milestones/ markers along the way not millstones that weigh you down.

You discover hidden potential – You give expression to your passion, move out of your comfort zone and discover talents and potential that remained dormant within you. You do not have to rationalize your actions or the consequences; no excuses for anything; you take responsibility. Dare do win is your only motto.

You become creative – When failure is not a fear, when justification is not needed, then excuses have no place in your lexicon. You can give expression to your inner spirit, the vivid imagination you have, the adventure of a lifetime with you owing no one an explanation or justification. No excuses needed; more life explored; fun and failure is just a phase of life but the process is what brings the thrill.

You do not fear failure – If at first you don’t succeed you just begin to try again. If you find that you were following the wrong trail in life, all you need to do is change tracks with no excuses for your actions or the past. No fear of failure comes from the freedom of not having to explain or justify or give excuses.

You succeed – Success is not just a destination; it is actually the enjoyment of the journey. The destination is merely a marker in life that tells us how far we have come. Every moment is a challenge, so also an opportunity to make life more colorful and meaningful. When we leave behind the baggage of excuses to be given we are no longer weighed down by expectations, More importantly we are on a journey in which we set the pace, the destination and the breaks. Every move forward is success for we have traversed ahead. No excuses, no regrets, no failures, no finish line.

Try these:

How can you color up the monotony of your work life, personal life and social life? Be creative, be daring, explore and act.