The May Project 2016

Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Unlike my wife who likes to playfully shock people by proclaiming that she was born in Plain View

I am not a native Long Islander

My family moved to Copiague right before my third birthday from my birthplace of Springfield, Massachusetts

the home of Friendly's Ice Cream and Milton Bradley

both of which were staples of my Long Island childhood

For a dinner out

or a celebration

my parents would take my brother and I out to the now-gone Lindenhurst Friendly’s

for a meal and ice cream

I loved that they served their burgers on toast and always ordered some version of chocolate ice cream for dessert

the dark chocolate ice cream is particularly god

or their so thick the straw stands up chocolate milkshake

a Fribble

My brother’s teenage sons now ask to go to Friendly’s after a soccer game, school concert, or robotics competition

our now-gone Dad

their grandfather

would have loved the robotics competition

and our Mother

the school concerts

5/1/16 DAK

The first time i went to long island was in 4th grade,

lisabeth laiken's 8th or 9th birthday party,

we all piled into a van in Flatbush

and napped the 40 minutes away to the second Nathan's,

in Oceanside, Long Island,

the town where we'd move a year later,

the relocated Oceanside Nathan's where my dad and I ate last night.

5/2/16 IW

My other birthstone

Milton Bradley games

were waiting for me on Long Island to shape much of my childhood play

Chutes and Ladders

Candyland

Hungry, Hungry Hippos

Twister

Connect Four

The Game of Life

Battleship

Simon

It turns out that Milton Bradley himself also shaped my early education

In the 1860s he became supporter of the kindergarten movement

almost driving his company into bankruptcy giving away free supplies

He
eventually turned around his fortunes by selling the six basic color
education supplies such as geometric block, multiplication sticks, toy
money, and clock dials that I learned from a century later

5/2/16 DAK

we were more a card playing house

solitaire, concentration,

counting to 500 with gin rummy,

my parents beating us,

encouraging us.

in junior high i had a regular friday night poker game

at richie schiller’s,

i don’t recall his parents being present.

5/3/16 IW

if games were being played while I was in Copiague jr. high

now Copiague middle school

I certainly didn’t understand the rules or even the name of the game

i was a classic target

small and thin and bookish

changing for gym was a time to be pushed around and walking through the halls my books knocked down

and suddenly my classmates notices I was Jewish

an identity that did not seem to matter in elementary school though it was just as foreign in my neighborhood

asked since all Jewish people are wealthy why wasn’t in private school

yet
a jr high English teacher who wield a red pen to put “blood across the
page” became the first in my chorus of internal editors

especially after his scowl turned to a smile to ask me privately why I did not let him know I had been sick with Crohn’s disease

5/3/16 DAK

my first school in long island

oak school three

i was one of the few jews in my fifth grade class,

in the school,

when it was time to move up to sixth grade and

walter s. boardman junior high school,

because the house i grew up in was zoned for it,

a few of us kids took a bus to visit it one day,

all of us jewish.

in seventh grade i had a crush on linda kagan

she was moving

and so i bought her the new andy gibb album, shadow dancing,,

but i never did give it to her.

5/4/16 IW

don’t remember having a crush until high school

and over 3 decades later

i don’t think i am ready to name who it was

in touch with too many old high school friends on facebook to go there

i
was excited when she kissed me on the cheek after high school
graduation as our families coincidentally were waiting on line to get
into the now-gone Farrell’s Ice Cream Parlor at the Sunrise Mall to
celebrate

no, wait

that incident peck reminded me of a kiss that never happened with another classmate

much, much younger

attending Babylon Town Summer Camp at Tanner Park

trying to wander off into the dune grass to steal a kiss

called back by the camp counselor

5/4/16 DAK

freshman at hofstra

i led tours of high school seniors

around the campus

i was a bit smitten by one,

sara algase,

and a week or so later

i picked her up at a fancy upper west side apartment building

a few blocks from my sister's place.

i can't remember our exact date,

maybe laser floyd or laser zeppelin at the hayden planetarium,

followed by dinner at pizzeria uno,

and then a walk back to her dad’s building, to her door,

and then a kiss, my first i think,

near the stairs in the hall,

all 6 foot 3 of me stooped to her five foot nothingness.

remember the lip sync contest they had at hofstra,

what the hell was the name? damn.

the one year i went

i sat in the balcony

as someone lip synched to prince's kiss,

and this woman named eileen feliciano,

clad in skintight black,

danced along.

every so often i google search

"eileen feliciano" hot.

no luck.

5/5/16 IW

i can’t blame the other 3 guys for backing out

but at least the one who was going to wear the military uniform upfront loaned it to me instead

billed as “Oliver North and the NSC”

I stood on the Hofstra stage at a lead singer microphone stand upfront

three empty backup singer microphone stands behind me

the intro was a piece of a Bob Goldthwait monologue on bombing, I think, Libya

it was obvious that I had not rehearsed

Dirty deeds, done dirt cheap

Dirty deeds, done dirt cheap

Dirty deeds, done dirt cheap

Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap

Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap

a well-earned silence from the audience

i wonder if that is when they opened my FBI file

5/5/16 DAK

you always told me that once you request your fbi file

is when you get your fbi file.

i’ve never requested mine,

but i did put in a freedom of information act request on emmett grogan,

so maybe then,

dunno.

so much blacked out,

other than protecting agents,

why?

i’ve known you more than half your life,

more than half my life,

and on occasion your previous memories,

become my memories,

and that’s nice.

5/6/16 IW

three decades ago or so

i remember the legend well but am shaky on the details.

i had recently graduated Hofstra

you were still there

we were both living at home

you had an internship the The Village Voice

you were working on what would be your only byline piece

it was about Timothy Leary

and headlined “Back on the Bus”

any type of computer equipment was rare

we stayed up all night while you used the equipment at the now-gone campus alternative newspaper

the New Voice

to write the story

we drove into the city at dawn to file your story

both of us zonked from the all-nighter

somewhere along the way a car was backing down an exit ramp toward

we found out we had no money on us

when we got to the toll booth

between scrounging around the car for change and begging

we got through

5/6/16 DAK

(oh, it wasn't my only byline piece)

i'm snacking on pringle's tonight with my dad,

way more than 30 years now

5/7/16 IW

though my mom bought Pringles

for my brother and I

I don’t remember my dad ever eating one

and I can’t ask him if he did

5/7/16 DAK

i liked your dad

i mean, for reals,

not just because what would i say that i hated your dad,

but if i ever needed to say that

it would only be in support of you,

and i think you would be supportive of that if you hated your dad,

but, i really liked your dad,

a sweetheart of a man who always spoke the truth,

no matter how brutal.

5/8/16 IW

yes, i remember the time he was really tough on you because he was worried about your health

Kimberly and I refer to him as the Buddha

I
knew about one of my friends that after his job disappeared, my dad
helped him to get the education he needed and the interview for a new
well-paying career. He tells me how thankful he is every time he sees
me.

After
my dad’s death, I heard more stories. The woman who works behind the
counter in Copiague Post Office told me how my dad gave her advice that
helped guide her son’s education.

5/8/16 DAK

when I go to the oceanside post office,

site of boog's second p.o. box, about 20 years ago,

there are still some of the same employees there

and we recognize one another,

one asking me what happened to a long dead relationship.

I don't think the postal workers in

albany, calverton, park slope in brooklyn, and chelsea in manhattan would know me.

5/9/16 IW

it took me a long time to move away from Copiague

even after going to law school in DC

i moved back home to Copiague

and after I got married

our first apartment was in Amity Harbor

which is really people in Copiague

trying to pretend they are not

I expanded my safe zone to Babylon town when we moved to the co-op in North Babylon

and finally we moved to Riverhead which is much more our speed

but I still stop in the Copiague Albert’s for a slice whenever I can get to that end of the county

5/9/16 DAK

i'm not sure if i went to pizzeria uno before you

i just know that when i think of pizzeria uno

i think of you.

5/10/16 IW

i forget and remember now-gone Pizzeria Uno in the Sunrise Mall parking lot

i miss the sausage deep dish

i always picture us eating at the now-gone Roy Rogers at the edge of Hofstra campus

looking back in amazement at eating the greasy

and for you non-kosher

chicken

5/10/16 DAK

last night,

on ocean parkway home from mom in rehab center,

her recovering from a broken right hip,

about the time when one of us says,

"what do you want to do for dinner?"

my dad says,

"wanna go to the lido deli?"

and we go,

and share fried chicken,

kosher fried chicken.

5/11/16 IW

i like eating at the Touro Law School cafeteria

not because I ever think I will become kosher

but it make me feel closer to my mother who was raised kosher and my father who claimed he was

5/11/16 DAK

those moments when i think,

"wouldn't it be nice

to be able to choose anything off of a diner menu,"

i think of my grandfathers who i never met,

and their kosher homes

and choose something dairy.

5/12/16 IW

Having been raised by a Jewish mother that made the best chicken parmigiana (and pot roast) that I ever tasted

I feel perfectly comfortable ordering a pizza burger at a diner

Though as I get older I find myself more often ordering one of my father’s favorites

a western omelette

I still haven’t developed a taste for martinis or shrimp with lobster sauce

can’t stand the peas

Kimberly

reading over my shoulder says

“I can’t stand the war.”

walking away

“I guess I’m better than you.”

5/12/16 DAK

my dad just replaced the toilet in the main bathroom,

my sister's worried he got jobbed on the deal,

i'm still plenty confident in all his abilities,

85 years of age be damned.

5/13/16 IW

shortly after kimberly and I bought the North Babylon co-op

we needed to replace the kitchen ceiling fan

my mother gave us a new boxed ceiling fan that she and my father had bought for their house but he never got to install

Kimberly’s father

a retired mechanic

came over to install the ceiling fan

after he left

Kimberly commented how lucky we are that her father is so handy

and generous

i immediately thought of how my father

a Brooklyn Tech grad

WWII radio officer

who started out teaching high school shop class

could have also installed the fan for us

for the first time since his funeral

i broke down crying

5/13/16 DAK

when my folks and i watch hallmark movies

there's always a point in the last few minutes,

when the storytellers manipulate you to cry,

it's at that moment when i look over at my dad,

who's beginning to tear,

and i say, "mary."

to which he looks back at me,

and says, "mary,"

as i tear along.

5/14/16 IW

I would hear singer-songwriter records playing in my brother’s room

along with Cheech and Chong

He is responsible for my love of Gordon Lightfoot, John Denver, America, and Long Island’s Harry Chapin

I
saw Chapin play a few times including 2 years in a row at the
Huntington Arts Festival that he headlined to raise money for the Art
Council.

I
found out decades later that he even started a local songwriters group
that was open to anyone who had a song to share for critique.

When I was 14

my parents took me to a free Harry Chapin concert that Nassau County was putting on in Eisenhower Park

It was a pleasant July car trip

When we arrived at the gate of Eisenhower Park

a policeman told my parents to go home

confused

they asked why

he was surprised they had a not heard the news

Harry Chapin had just been killed on the LIE

I cried on the way home

Later I heard that his fans had stayed in the amphitheater and sang his songs in tribute

I regret that the policeman had not let us in

5/14/16 DAK

driving with my dad everyday,

between my folks' house

and my mom in rehab

for her broken right hip

i was basically in charge of the radio.

i'd rotate between five fm stations,

wfan

or second sports choice,

espn,

and three music stations,

oldies station, wcbs,

and classic rock stations wbab and waxq.

rotating among the music stations,

i'd land on songs like

boston's more than a feeling

or queen's we are the champions

and tell my dad

i first learned of these songs from the record collection in the den,

attributing the boston and queen to my older brother,

and the beatles compilations,

love songs and 1967-1970,

to my eldest sibling, my sister.

5/15/16 IW

WBAB

which broadcasts from the semi-eponymous Babylon town

is known for it’s upside-down logo and as the station of

Billy And Bruce

In the 1990’s

the station was bought by a radio conglomerate

that limited the playlist to the size of a top 40 radio

There
were days where I would turn off the car radio when arriving at work at
9am and hear the same song playing when I got into the car at 12 noon
for lunch

Immediately after 9/11

WBAB went commercial-free for two days and just opened up its airwaves to its listeners on a 24 hour basis

acting as a clearinghouse for information about local needs and letting Long Islanders just talk

that was great radio

5/15/16 DAK

listening to the same three classic rock radio stations

each trip each way to mom in hip rehab

i heard certain artists repeatedly,

the stones, paul simon, pearl jam, pat benatar among them,

but the biggest offender always had me telling my dad,

"you know who that is?"

and dad knew the answer,

"billy joel."

"yes, billy fuckin' joel.

I mean he's great,

but G-ddammit, billy fuckin' joel."

5/16/16 IW

there are certain activities that are iconic to living on Long Island

swimming at Jones Beach

visiting the Montauk Lighthouse

having seen the Islander play hockey at the now-gone Nassau Coliseum

and having seen a Billy Joel concert there

Senior year at Hofstra

around October or November

I win tickets to a December Billy Joel concert from a radio station’

yeah I think it was BAB

by filling in the rest of a lyric from one of his songs

something a Long Islander knows like the ABCs

best seats I ever had

third row

on the floor

I was so close

at one point I could see the fly that was buzzing around Billy

at this point I don’t remember who I took or what his set list was

but I know I had a great time

Joel
spotted a banner about his former wife Christie Brinkley and smilingly
admonished the audience to be respectful because she is the mother of
his daughter

afterward I heard the story of the Santa who went into nosebleed seats and gave away front row tickets

yup Billy himself

on the other end of the spectrum is sighting of Billy just living life

a friend’s brother living out east seeing Billy leaving the pediatrician's office

another working at a park catching Billy and Christie running into the building to avoid a sudden shower

a
third busking on the streets of Huntington looks up from playing Piano
Man on his guitar to see Billy give him a head nod as he walks past on
the opposite side of the street

5/16/16 DAK

in junior high i played street hockey

with a bunch of islanders mad friends

during the team's early eighties stanley cup championship run

(having grown up in brooklyn i was a rangers fan,

and wore my number three barry beck replica jersey proudly)

the biggest kid,

six feet tall in my early teens,

i'd play goalie.

my folks bought me a goalie stick

and a white mask I painted parts red and blue,

to be like the one rangers' goalie john davidson's wore,

leg pads were prohibitively expensive,

so they were a no go,

so were the goalie's glove and waffle or blocker,

but dad lent me the ken "hawk" harrelson family first baseman's mitt,

so goalie's glove down.

that left the waffle,

a large rectangle the goalie wears

on their stickhandling hand

to help block the puck away.

the waffle cost over a hundred bucks,

so that was a nonstarter.

but then dad took some cardboard from the garage,

shaped it in a rectangle and nice and thick,

with heavy duty tape all around it,

then took one of his old work gloves,

adhered it to the back,

and, yes, I now had my very own waffle.

5/17/16 IW

(and
I forgot my artist/folk musician friend who was friends with Joel as a
child and has a picture of them together at Joel’s 6th birthday party)

there were many celebrations of the bicentennial in New York

one was called OpSail

tall sailing ships from all over the world sailed along Long Island’s South Shore and converged in New York harbor

my mother packed my brother and I up in the car before dawn one morning and drove us out to the barrier beaches

probably Jones Beach

don’t remember exactly which beach much less which field

my mother was a great cook

chicken parmigiana

crepes

pot roast

pepper steak

all restaurant quality

i don’t know why she brought a hibachi to make us pancakes at the beach as the sun rose

the pancakes were badly formed and burnt

the worst she ever made

we nibbled on them

it was foggy on the water that morning

even with the binoculars she brought

we could barely see the outline of a ship

5/17/16 DAK

my brother's aluminum row boat

on peconic lake

off his calverton backyard

me and judy

searching for frogs.

5/18/16 IW

Kimberly and I were winding down in the kitchen having our nightly cup of tea

the lights are off in the rest of our Riverhead house

she looks through the doorway into the livingroom where the stairs down from the second floor end in a corner

she sees moving in the shadows what looks like the largest bug she has ever seen in the house

i couldn’t even tell you where to find local sports radio much less about the teams

but I love a live game

any live game

so I never turn down a chance to go

I have seen the Islanders at the Coliseum

the Mets at Shea and Citi Field

the Yankees at the House that Ruth Built

and the New York Liberty at Garden

the
most ironic effect of my enthusiasm for a live game is that I helped
turn my eldest nephew (and maybe his younger brothers vicariously) into
an Islanders fan by taking him to a few games with free tickets from my
best friend’s sister

even more so since my brother and his wife never watch hockey

5/19/16 DAK

i was always most impressed by yr taking yr eldest nephew

to a minor league hockey game

in connecticut no less,

a big trip for a sports fan

an even bigger trip for a non-sports fan.

a whole lot of uncle love there.

Liberty?

and a young alan iverson versus the knicks at madison square garden

5/20/16 IW

though I have to admit that the trip to Connecticut had a bit of my Mom in it

when you buy the round trip tickets on the Port Jefferson Ferry

they give you the Bridgeport Sound Tigers tickets for free

the day ended up being what my Dad used to call an adventure

it is a cold mile walk down to the stadium from the ferry with a few twists and turn to get there

theoretically there is a shuttle but all we found was the van with the engine running and no driver

well my nephew is a boy scout

eagle scout actually

so we walked it

all the terrible for you food that I always buy at a game was a lot cheaper than the Coliseum

and the seats were great

the action was great

and unlike most of the Islanders games that we saw

the Tigers won

5/20/16 DAK

i took my niece melissa to a long island ducks game,

the unaffiliated local minor league baseball team.

she was seven or eight

and it was just the two of us.

i did what my dad taught me from about the same age,

bring all of your own food and drink for the game,

so you don't get jobbed by the ballpark prices.

we got to the gate

and the woman at our entry

told me "the ballpark doesn't allow any outside food or drink."

"you see her? i'm broke.

if i can't bring in my food and drink she won't be able to eat or drink."

she looks down at melissa and her big brown eyes,

"go ahead."

5/21/16 IW

oh yeah

I forgot going to Ducks games also

I’ve gone to a number with my nephews’ Scout Troop

One time I got free tickets through work and took my brother’s youngest

he was excited and brought his mitt

the seat were perfect

second level

behind home plate

the whole field laid out before us

my nephew was disappointed

there is a huge net in front of our whole section

to prevent us from unexpectedly being hit by a ball that pops up

and prevents my nephew from even possibly catching a game ball

we bought him a souvenir ball at the gift shop

5/21/16 DAK

my friend philip and i

were just talking the other day

about how it's been a long time since we played catch.

we used to play on east 19th street

in front of the weisberg's house

on fourth of july barbecue days,

ending up with sore shoulders

due to overactivity after inactivity.

5/22/16 IW

standing on the lawn of my brother’s Coram house with Kimberly and our 2 year old nephew

we play catch with him with a large white plastic ball

he throws it directly to us

we lob the same ball to him which he hits with the large yellow plastic bat

we know he will be the only athlete in any generation of the Wilder clan

thirteen years later i take him to play soccer when his parents are working

he plays goalie because the team lost one

his team wins

5/22/16 DAK

i played goalie for my high school soccer team,

partially because i was the tallest one in my high school,

the same reason i played center for the basketball team, catcher in baseball, and goalie in street hockey,

not my athleticism or anything like that.

5/23/16 IW

i grew up what they would call today free range

if you could call it that on our suburban street

after coming home from school i would be outside playing with friends until my mother called me in for dinner

in high school i spent most of my free time curled up in a chair reading

5/23/16 DAK

i don't read much anymore,

i mean i read articles online all the time,

always the ny daily news and sports illustrated's extra mustard site,

plus a ton of others,

and all of the boog city issues

i mean i don't read books much anymore,

mainly because i'm out of work,

and there's no subway to work reading

or reading at lunch.

now my only book reading

is done on the long island railroad

on trips out to my folks,

though I do strategically place books i've been meaning to read or continue to read around my apartment

to guilt some book reading out of me.

5/24/16 IW

I don’t have as much time to read books as I’d like

yes I read lots of articles but not enough books to keep me happy

most of my diet consists of books on CD while driving between my home in Riverhead and my work in Bohemia

Ulysses which under-impressed me (I know I will pay for that)

then Moby Dick which I fell in love with

then The New Jim Crow and This Changes Everything back to back which sent me into a state of depression

that said I still follow my dad’s pattern of having several real books open at once and reading the one that suits my mood

I have The New American Poetry 1945 - 1960 which Dave recommended I buy when the publisher had a sale