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Pushing Through.

February 27, 2014

As a young child I experienced a strong sense of motivation, because I knew at a very young age that I loved to dance and perform. I began dancing at the age of three, and time stood still when I danced. Even when I was not in class, but at home, I would play music and choreograph my own dances in front of our ceiling to floor mirrors. I was in my flow.

That was my experience, but not necessarily my daughter’s. As an achiever, it would be easy for me to push my dream, or a form of my dream on her to do the same, but I have worked so hard not to do that. I remember the day she told me she wanted to dance, but those classes did not last long. Although she was great, it was not her thing! She is now going on 10 years of age, and I think to myself, “Is she really going to grow up not playing any sports, or dancing, or…?” Recently, I heard the statistic that 80% of the most successful women in Fortune 500 companies all played competitive sports in high school, and my next thought was, “Wow, as a ‘good’ mom do I need to force her to do something to ensure her success?” That thought, of course, came from a place of fear, not love.

I think back to when she was potty training and everything that could go wrong did. In fact, it wasn’t until she was almost five that one day she said, “Mom, come look. I did it!” And that was it. She knew what she had to do, and she did it when she was ready.

Nia finally picked something new to try. She recently started Karate. Although her general modus operandi is to be a bit lazy when it comes to physical things (she’d rather be exploring out in nature!), I find that she likes Karate just enough to not quit. In fact, one of her teachers saw something in her, not on the physical toughness side, but, in her energy—her essence to want to do be noticed for her intelligence and to win. She is quite competitive! So, she’s was invited to try out for the competition team and I’ve seen her turn a new page. I see her fighting harder and not giving up when the going gets tough. She is pushing through. I also know that these teachers breathing belief into her is helping so much! They, too, could easily give up on her and tell her she’s not yet ready. What they have done is open the door for her to decide to do something very challenging while feeling supported.

In the same, the protective parent in me wanted to make it easy and safe for her. I had many “Oh no, she can’t do that!” or “She’s not ready to do that!” moments. But I kept those thoughts in my head. Instead, I cheered her on and allowed her to make the decision to stick with it or walk away.

Reflecting on this has helped cement a few concepts for me, which also may help you in a particular situation in which you may find yourself. They are:

We each have unique passions that call to us and put us in our “flow” and/or help us to feel strong/on the verge of greatness.

There is a time and place for everything.

Pushing through in some way in our lives helps us to achieve a sense of purpose and pleasure.