"accident baby"

So I'm a FTM and this is an unplanned pregnancy. BD and I were only dating 3 months when I found out I was preggers. Here's a little back ground on us. We worked together and I knew him for a year before we dated. Yes, we used protection but nothing is ever full proof. However, we both loved each other and wanted to have this baby even though we dated for only a short period. Our close friends and family are all very supportive and excited for us. Especially both our parents since this is the first grand baby for everyone. I'm just annoyed by the term "accident baby" from distant relatives and ex co-workers. I mean there's a negative connotation with that term and I don't want anyone calling my daughter that and making her feel inferior (when she's old enough to understand). How would you all handle this? I just ignore it, I mean I don't owe them any explanation..this baby is loved regardless whether she is planned or not. So I guess I just needed to vent and I might be just a little sensitie and over reacting.

So I'm a FTM and this is an unplanned pregnancy. BD and I were only dating 3 months when I found out I was preggers. Here's a little back ground on us. We worked together and I knew him for a year before we dated. Yes, we used protection but nothing is ever full proof. However, we both loved each other and wanted to have this baby even though we dated for only a short period. Our close friends and family are all very supportive and excited for us. Especially both our parents since this is the first grand baby for everyone. I'm just annoyed by the term "accident baby" from distant relatives and ex co-workers. I mean there's a negative connotation with that term and I don't want anyone calling my daughter that and making her feel inferior (when she's old enough to understand). How would you all handle this? I just ignore it, I mean I don't owe them any explanation..this baby is loved regardless whether she is planned or not. So I guess I just needed to vent and I might be just a little sensitie and over reacting.

My mum and dad had been married 10 years when they found out I was coming. They already had my sister and brother and have admitted that I was an accident. I won't deny it hurt at first, but they also let slip that they were probably most proud of me. I did best at school, went to university and generally was an ok teenager and didnt give them hassle. I suppose what I'm trying to say is the most important thing is to make sure your lovely baby knows how much it's mum and dad loves them and how ecstatic you both are that they came into your life. Whatever anyone else says in the future is irrelevant!! xxx

My mum and dad had been married 10 years when they found out I was coming. They already had my sister and brother and have admitted that I was an accident. I won't deny it hurt at first, but they also let slip that they were probably most proud of me. I did best at school, went to university and generally was an ok teenager and didnt give them hassle. I suppose what I'm trying to say is the most important thing is to make sure your lovely baby knows how much it's mum and dad loves them and how ecstatic you both are that they came into your life. Whatever anyone else says in the future is irrelevant!! xxx

I was the worst kind of accident. My mom was only 17 when she found out, and twins to boot! I've ALWAYS known I was an accident, but it never ever bothered me. My mom told me all the time about protection and double methods while I was even too young to consider sex. I could have taken it the wrong way, I suppose, but I never did. I knew from a very young age that if she could take it back she would (and it did hurt at first), but I always knew even more that she loved us enough to keep us, and that her life has been nothing but hardship for it, so I understood the 'bad' behind the term accident. I guess what I'm trying to say is, explain yourselves. Your child is lucky in that they are wanted and not a burden, they will understand eventually that things happen, but that you always loved them enough to keep them, and that will be good enough. Plus, I never even bothered to ask how long my parents were together before the accident...so it's also likely your child will never be none the wiser, lol.

I was the worst kind of accident. My mom was only 17 when she found out, and twins to boot! I've ALWAYS known I was an accident, but it never ever bothered me. My mom told me all the time about protection and double methods while I was even too young to consider sex. I could have taken it the wrong way, I suppose, but I never did. I knew from a very young age that if she could take it back she would (and it did hurt at first), but I always knew even more that she loved us enough to keep us, and that her life has been nothing but hardship for it, so I understood the 'bad' behind the term accident. I guess what I'm trying to say is, explain yourselves. Your child is lucky in that they are wanted and not a burden, they will understand eventually that things happen, but that you always loved them enough to keep them, and that will be good enough. Plus, I never even bothered to ask how long my parents were together before the accident...so it's also likely your child will never be none the wiser, lol.

I don't know what you believe but what I would tell ppl who say that and hurt you is that while this baby (or any baby) may have been unplanned by you and her father, she is no accident; she is a baby that God knew was coming since before time began and is an amazing blessing! I may not be planning on winning the lottery but I sure would be happy to receive the winnings! Congratulations on winning the biggest lottery ever-your baby is such a gift!

I don't know what you believe but what I would tell ppl who say that and hurt you is that while this baby (or any baby) may have been unplanned by you and her father, she is no accident; she is a baby that God knew was coming since before time began and is an amazing blessing! I may not be planning on winning the lottery but I sure would be happy to receive the winnings! Congratulations on winning the biggest lottery ever-your baby is such a gift!

Hmmm dont worry about that term its silly! I was an accident meaning I wasnt planned but as my mom puts it life would have never been so great if I wasnt here : ) p.s nobody will call your baby that once shes here! Trust me :)

Hmmm dont worry about that term its silly! I was an accident meaning I wasnt planned but as my mom puts it life would have never been so great if I wasnt here : ) p.s nobody will call your baby that once shes here! Trust me :)

I doubt they would say anything in front of her. One of my friends in college was much younger than her siblings and we just made fun of it(along with her) that she was an "oops baby" I like that term much better! But I wouldn't worry too much, hopefully people aren't cruel enough say stuff in front of her.

I doubt they would say anything in front of her. One of my friends in college was much younger than her siblings and we just made fun of it(along with her) that she was an "oops baby" I like that term much better! But I wouldn't worry too much, hopefully people aren't cruel enough say stuff in front of her.

In theory, unless a fertility clinic is involved, all babies are accidents. Even the couples that were intentionally trying to have a baby have no real idea why it finally worked this time. :-) My dd was fully unintended and she knows that. She's nine and when she asks questions I tell her she was a surprise. We didn't necessarily ask for her but someone upstairs thought we needed her and would be good parents for her. I also make sure to tell her I agree and that she is the best surprise I ever got. As long as your baby knows it's loved and wanted now, I don't think idiot outsiders and their opinions will ever hurt him/her. I hope this helps in some way. :-)

In theory, unless a fertility clinic is involved, all babies are accidents. Even the couples that were intentionally trying to have a baby have no real idea why it finally worked this time. :-) My dd was fully unintended and she knows that. She's nine and when she asks questions I tell her she was a surprise. We didn't necessarily ask for her but someone upstairs thought we needed her and would be good parents for her. I also make sure to tell her I agree and that she is the best surprise I ever got. As long as your baby knows it's loved and wanted now, I don't think idiot outsiders and their opinions will ever hurt him/her. I hope this helps in some way. :-)

Ha ha hope! Your post made meremember a funny story. When my dd was two and determined to be independent, she was also a klutz. She fell so often and I said "oopsie" so often that it became her nickname. One day my sister and I went to Walmart together with our kids. She has two boys. They were 2 and 4. My sister and I both got lucky with our mom's genes and neither of us has ever looked our ages though at the time I was 26 and she was 23. So, back to the story, we were in Walmart walking though the clothes and my dd let go of my hand and ran so I called to her. "oopsie. Oopsie come to mommy." lol. I was scolding her for running off when an older lady who had heard everything said, "that is deplorable. Young lady just because you made a mistake she shouldn't be reminded of it everyday." and then she walked away. I was so shocked I didn't even defend myself. Now I laugh about it and still sometimes refer to her as oopsie but, at the time, I was so upset that someone thought I didn't want my baby! Lol.

Ha ha hope! Your post made meremember a funny story. When my dd was two and determined to be independent, she was also a klutz. She fell so often and I said "oopsie" so often that it became her nickname. One day my sister and I went to Walmart together with our kids. She has two boys. They were 2 and 4. My sister and I both got lucky with our mom's genes and neither of us has ever looked our ages though at the time I was 26 and she was 23. So, back to the story, we were in Walmart walking though the clothes and my dd let go of my hand and ran so I called to her. "oopsie. Oopsie come to mommy." lol. I was scolding her for running off when an older lady who had heard everything said, "that is deplorable. Young lady just because you made a mistake she shouldn't be reminded of it everyday." and then she walked away. I was so shocked I didn't even defend myself. Now I laugh about it and still sometimes refer to her as oopsie but, at the time, I was so upset that someone thought I didn't want my baby! Lol.

when i got pregnant with my daughter it was on the very first time that the guy i was with and i were initmate with eachother... had only been together about a month...and yeah i mean the way it happened was definitely an accident - neither of us expected it and what do ya know..he ran off and has never even met his daughter who btw will be 4 in december... but i remember right after she was born i was talking with one of my coworkers and she asked me a question about when i got pregnant and i said "well it was definitely an accident.." and she freaked out on me like yelling and telling me to never refer to a child like that... i looked at her like she was completely psycho and said "well, if you would take 2 seconds to listen to the question you asked 'how did you get pregnant?' and my answer 'it was an accident' you would understand that i never referred to my daughter as an accident..."i have never called my daughter an accident, the way she was conceieved was yes, less than desired as far as being left alone and young while pregnant , but my daughter is one of the best things i have ever done and she is very loved and she knows it :)

when i got pregnant with my daughter it was on the very first time that the guy i was with and i were initmate with eachother... had only been together about a month...and yeah i mean the way it happened was definitely an accident - neither of us expected it and what do ya know..he ran off and has never even met his daughter who btw will be 4 in december... but i remember right after she was born i was talking with one of my coworkers and she asked me a question about when i got pregnant and i said "well it was definitely an accident.." and she freaked out on me like yelling and telling me to never refer to a child like that... i looked at her like she was completely psycho and said "well, if you would take 2 seconds to listen to the question you asked 'how did you get pregnant?' and my answer 'it was an accident' you would understand that i never referred to my daughter as an accident..."i have never called my daughter an accident, the way she was conceieved was yes, less than desired as far as being left alone and young while pregnant , but my daughter is one of the best things i have ever done and she is very loved and she knows it :)

Oh Hon don't worry. I doubt anyone will say that to or around her. If they do I'm sure one lecture would get the point across. I have been with DH almost 11 years and married almost 5. We were NEVER having kids, EVER! He had a vasectomy scheduled for mid March, I got BFP on Feb 24th. If u think we don't catch some crap for that then ur wrong lol. I just let it roll off. I do like the nn oopsie though. Made me LOL.

Oh Hon don't worry. I doubt anyone will say that to or around her. If they do I'm sure one lecture would get the point across. I have been with DH almost 11 years and married almost 5. We were NEVER having kids, EVER! He had a vasectomy scheduled for mid March, I got BFP on Feb 24th. If u think we don't catch some crap for that then ur wrong lol. I just let it roll off. I do like the nn oopsie though. Made me LOL.

I was def an accident my mother was 15! So when I was old enough and realized how old she was when she gave birth I obviously knew I was an accident but she also made it clear that even thought I wasnt planned I was NEVER a mistake!and she make sure I knew about protection lol! But I do think it's kinda rude for ur family and friends to remind you all the time that ur mirical baby is an accident!obviously she will be loved and well taken care of! Well congrats and gl

I was def an accident my mother was 15! So when I was old enough and realized how old she was when she gave birth I obviously knew I was an accident but she also made it clear that even thought I wasnt planned I was NEVER a mistake!and she make sure I knew about protection lol! But I do think it's kinda rude for ur family and friends to remind you all the time that ur mirical baby is an accident!obviously she will be loved and well taken care of! Well congrats and gl

I am 42 in 6 days and this baby is a surprise. I prefer that term to accident. We too used protection. Bit I see it as Gods plan. I would just clarify to anyone callig her an accident that she is a welcome surprise! And express how excited you are.

I am 42 in 6 days and this baby is a surprise. I prefer that term to accident. We too used protection. Bit I see it as Gods plan. I would just clarify to anyone callig her an accident that she is a welcome surprise! And express how excited you are.

I always tell my son he was a suprise.... Lol.... It so funny because he may only be 5 but when someone says something like that around him he says I wasn't an accident I was the best suprise mommy ever got.... It shuts people up to have a 5 year old say that to them.....

I always tell my son he was a suprise.... Lol.... It so funny because he may only be 5 but when someone says something like that around him he says I wasn't an accident I was the best suprise mommy ever got.... It shuts people up to have a 5 year old say that to them.....

I am a 32 year old mother of 4 !! The oldest is my step son he is 16, my husband had him when he was 16. My son always jokes about being an accident, my husband tells him he wasnt an accident, just a big suprise!!! We have 3 girls together, 11, 9, and 8 ! I got essure (permanat bc 99.8% effective) on 8/31/2010 (we were done having kids ) In march, i found out we will be expecting ANOTHER baby so ........... Whats meant to be will happen , there are no accidents !! =)

I am a 32 year old mother of 4 !! The oldest is my step son he is 16, my husband had him when he was 16. My son always jokes about being an accident, my husband tells him he wasnt an accident, just a big suprise!!! We have 3 girls together, 11, 9, and 8 ! I got essure (permanat bc 99.8% effective) on 8/31/2010 (we were done having kids ) In march, i found out we will be expecting ANOTHER baby so ........... Whats meant to be will happen , there are no accidents !! =)

I am 34 years old and I am on my 3rd child. All of my children were unplanned. My first pregnancy resulted in Twins. They are now 15 almost 16 years old. They know they were unplanned but I have ALWAYS told them they were never a mistake and that I would NEVER refer to them as that. I have also told them that the decesions I made in my life were never becuase had them. I could still go to college and I could still work. The word mistake drives me nuts. Their dad on the other hand had 2 kids from his now wife and she made a comment to one of her daughters and said she was a mistake and she didnt really want her. Hurt that little girls feelings. If you struggle you struggle for your children reguardless if they are planned or not. They will understand in the long run and know either way they are loved way more then anything else in this world.

I am 34 years old and I am on my 3rd child. All of my children were unplanned. My first pregnancy resulted in Twins. They are now 15 almost 16 years old. They know they were unplanned but I have ALWAYS told them they were never a mistake and that I would NEVER refer to them as that. I have also told them that the decesions I made in my life were never becuase had them. I could still go to college and I could still work. The word mistake drives me nuts. Their dad on the other hand had 2 kids from his now wife and she made a comment to one of her daughters and said she was a mistake and she didnt really want her. Hurt that little girls feelings. If you struggle you struggle for your children reguardless if they are planned or not. They will understand in the long run and know either way they are loved way more then anything else in this world.

Like so many have said, "accident" and "Mistake" are two very different things, and "surprise" is always a good word!

My husband is 10 and 11 years younger than his two brothers. My inlaws were certainly not trying to have him in their 40's, but he's turned out the best of them, and thankfully for me, quite a keeper! ;-) His mother jokes about it all the time and it's taken in good stride.

My youngest sister is also pregnant (due the same day as me) and she and her boyfriend were NOT trying to get pregnant, had doubled up on the birth control, and STILL got pregnant. My sister jokes that she must be the most fertile woman on the planet, or else her kid is destined to cure cancer or something considering the miracle it must have taken to defy both pills and condoms to get herself conceived.

Up until the point where we knew what she was carrying, we referred to her baby as "Whoops." The rest of our acquaintances thought it was horrible, but we thought it was funny. Now that we know it's a girl, she has a name we call her by, but accasionally she's still referred to as "Whoops" and all with good humor.

Her baby will be as welcomed as my "planned within a marriage" one will be.

It's all about intention and mindset.

Like so many have said, "accident" and "Mistake" are two very different things, and "surprise" is always a good word!

My husband is 10 and 11 years younger than his two brothers. My inlaws were certainly not trying to have him in their 40's, but he's turned out the best of them, and thankfully for me, quite a keeper! ;-) His mother jokes about it all the time and it's taken in good stride.

My youngest sister is also pregnant (due the same day as me) and she and her boyfriend were NOT trying to get pregnant, had doubled up on the birth control, and STILL got pregnant. My sister jokes that she must be the most fertile woman on the planet, or else her kid is destined to cure cancer or something considering the miracle it must have taken to defy both pills and condoms to get herself conceived.

Up until the point where we knew what she was carrying, we referred to her baby as "Whoops." The rest of our acquaintances thought it was horrible, but we thought it was funny. Now that we know it's a girl, she has a name we call her by, but accasionally she's still referred to as "Whoops" and all with good humor.

Her baby will be as welcomed as my "planned within a marriage" one will be.

None of my kids were planned..this is my third and yes hubby and I wanted another we didn't want to "try" until around this coming January. When we found out we just said "surprise" lol. I was 17 with my first and of course he wasn't planned but I feel like I was "mature enough" to have sex, I was going to deal with whatever I came with it. I never referred to any of my kids as accidents. They were a surprise I didn't know I wanted until I had them. I actually was someone who didn't want children..just bc I didn't want to worry about the bad things that could happen. I take that all back...I think being a mother is the BEST thing I could have done and at the end of the day the baby is most important and everyone who thinks otherwise can go screw themselves!!!

None of my kids were planned..this is my third and yes hubby and I wanted another we didn't want to "try" until around this coming January. When we found out we just said "surprise" lol. I was 17 with my first and of course he wasn't planned but I feel like I was "mature enough" to have sex, I was going to deal with whatever I came with it. I never referred to any of my kids as accidents. They were a surprise I didn't know I wanted until I had them. I actually was someone who didn't want children..just bc I didn't want to worry about the bad things that could happen. I take that all back...I think being a mother is the BEST thing I could have done and at the end of the day the baby is most important and everyone who thinks otherwise can go screw themselves!!!

I havent read all the previous posts, but my son was born in a similar situation. Instead of thinking of him as an accident (which no child is!) I think of him as my surprise blessing! However, it doesn't even come into play now because it clearly was meant to be. He has made our lives all the better!

I understand all the anxiety that comes as the baby is born and you are pregnant when things are done in the "traditional" way. Rest assured your little blessing will make it all better and none of that will matter!

I havent read all the previous posts, but my son was born in a similar situation. Instead of thinking of him as an accident (which no child is!) I think of him as my surprise blessing! However, it doesn't even come into play now because it clearly was meant to be. He has made our lives all the better!

I understand all the anxiety that comes as the baby is born and you are pregnant when things are done in the "traditional" way. Rest assured your little blessing will make it all better and none of that will matter!

My DD was a BIG surprise. Â Even though we had been married for almost 4 years, we weren't ready for a baby. Â We were going to talk about when we were going to start trying in 6 months, 2 weeks later bam I was preggo. Â I love her to death even though I had to change some of my plans due to pregnancy (involved using chemicals that are harmful even when not pregnant).Â

DH was also an oops baby. He has 2 older brothers, and his mom was on birth control. Â He came anyway, and I for one am glad he came. Both his parents cared for him, and both are glad he was born, even though they got divorced when he was 6.

Apparantly my little sister was an accident as well. Â My mom said she was forced into sex and bam I get a baby sister. Â My mom didn't say any of this till she and my dad were getting divorced 20 years later. Â My mom is kinda mean anyway, but now my sister really doesn't want a relationship after being told that. They wanted me, but they treated her like a princess because my sister had all sorts of health problems.

My DD was a BIG surprise. Â Even though we had been married for almost 4 years, we weren't ready for a baby. Â We were going to talk about when we were going to start trying in 6 months, 2 weeks later bam I was preggo. Â I love her to death even though I had to change some of my plans due to pregnancy (involved using chemicals that are harmful even when not pregnant).Â

DH was also an oops baby. He has 2 older brothers, and his mom was on birth control. Â He came anyway, and I for one am glad he came. Both his parents cared for him, and both are glad he was born, even though they got divorced when he was 6.

Apparantly my little sister was an accident as well. Â My mom said she was forced into sex and bam I get a baby sister. Â My mom didn't say any of this till she and my dad were getting divorced 20 years later. Â My mom is kinda mean anyway, but now my sister really doesn't want a relationship after being told that. They wanted me, but they treated her like a princess because my sister had all sorts of health problems.

Tell people she was UNPLANNED and that no baby os an accident but a miracle. When she gets older (like teens and 20) she will make a joke of it. I'm an unplanned baby so we always joke about me being an Oppsie.

Tell people she was UNPLANNED and that no baby os an accident but a miracle. When she gets older (like teens and 20) she will make a joke of it. I'm an unplanned baby so we always joke about me being an Oppsie.

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