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Wednesday, February 8, 2017

A little levity out of the idiocy

Oh look. Trump laid another dozen eggs: Mallick

Trump will alter the world until he stops. So don’t tone it down, as two male columnists have just advised me, unasked. Fight back but wisely, don’t thrash about as Trump does.

They say the worst thing you can do with President Trump is to normalize him, to which I respond, how?

The president allegedly takes a medication prescribed off-label to rescue his hair that may also destroy his libido and give him a runny nose, which explains the sniffing at least. The story, courtesy of Trump’s long-haired mad scientist doctor, who says Trump also takes Propecia, or finasteride, was laid like an egg on Wednesday night.

Trump is like the wonderful egg machines you find in European breakfast buffets. You reach inside the stainless steel thing — it looks like a glass rice cooker on its hind legs — and pluck soft-boiled eggs from little cradles. Science keeps them hot and runny. Trump stories are like that, the buffet always open.

By Monday morning when this column appears in print, Trump and his chickens will have laid a dozen more. At this point, print is not just dead but retroactively so. As for online, in the 10 minutes since typing that, I learned the Trump wall with Mexico will be partly invisible, and three other scandalous things, only two about Russia.

Here’s what I know. Trump will alter the world until he stops. So don’t tone it down, as two male columnists have just advised me, unasked. Fight back but wisely, don’t thrash about as Trump does.

The bright side of Trump is that I like human beings much more than I did on Jan. 19. Almost all his detractors seem delightful to me now in comparison to him and his more violent voters.

George W. Bush was the picture of benign idiocy at the Inauguration ceremony on Jan. 20. I watched him struggling with his clear plastic rain poncho while Laura ignored him and I felt a twang. Remember Dick Cheney with the man-sized safe in his office? Awww.