To Simon - redux

Thanks to Simon for providing this forum where we can discuss our experiences and issues with the WT Society and the JW religion.

Anyone that knows anything about me at all knows that I'm not an ass kisser, but I think we forget what a pain in the ass it must be to keep a forum like this going. Sure, most forums have flame wars and personality conflicts from time to time, but a forum about sports cars, motorcyles, basketweaving, and needlepoint don't have the same emotions and pain expressed in their subjects as this forum...as any ex-JW forum, as any ex-cult forum... does.

We're mostly a group of people who have been ostracized by family and so-called life long friends. Some of us have known nothing other than the JW lifestyle. Many of us were completely shattered when we realized the real truth about the "truth". Our world went upside down. Everything we believed was a lie. This place has been a lifeline for many.

As the heading says, "everyone welcome" but "everyone" needs to come in with respect for the established order...and the established order here is that we're mostly ex-JWs. Forums exclusively for active JWs doesn't exist, well, because the Society doesn't want them to, so most dubs obey and don't create them. But occasionally an apologist stumbles in and wants to share their defense of the WTS. Fine... no problem... as long as they do it with respect for the order already in place...and as long as they know they're outnumbered a hundred to one.

Likewise, "we", the established order, could give newbies a chance to show their true colors. I was in contact with a newbie who many sensed was a troll but I realized he wasn't...he was truly confused and lost. We may have scared him away...hopefully not back to the bOrg though.

So, again, to Simon: Thanks for putting up with all the shit so that those of us who want to use this forum to keep up with the scandals and issues of the WTS and to hopefully help those newly questioning or fading or DFd and needing support can continue to do so.

For every problem poster, I hope there are dozens of us who appreciate this forum and want to use it for good (and a little fun, now and then).

Undercover -- Please allow me to get specific. Is there a rule missing from the guidelines, below? If not, then what does it mean to, "come in with respect to the established order", other than following the eleven guidelines publicly posted? I'm not disagreeing with your sentiments. However, isn't it a bit unrealistic to expect new people to do anything other than follow the posted rules?

I had nowhere on earth to go with my aftermath of leaving the Org. God knew I needed this forum. I don't care what religious or non-religious or anti-religious views anyone has here--this was where I needed to come. I just didn't know it 'til I arrived.

...isn't it a bit unrealistic to expect new people to do anything other than follow the posted rules?

Fair question. Techinically speaking, yes - as long as they follow the posted rules, that's about all one can expect, I guess.

However - (there's always a 'however', isn't there?) from my experience with forum boards (not just this one) newbies are usually accepted much more readily when they get a feel for how the board works, the dynamics of the personalities, figuring out the hot button issues and avoiding pushing them. Every board has had people jump in with both feet and try to stir things up...all with never really breaking any forum rules. But over time, they end up alienating a lot of people and it becomes tiresome dealing with them.

Now - it's easy to deal with tiresome people on a forum - just ignore those you don't like. And I think most of us could do a better job of that. But sometimes when a person pushes an ex-JW hot button, it unleashes hell like no one has seen. Because it's personal... someone didn't say "Damn, the paint job on your bike sux"... no, they said, "JWs do not harbor pedophiles...they have the best record in religion in dealing with sin..." or something else equally in error.

I'm not a moderator.... don't wanna be one...but I hope to be one of those people who tries to make their jobs a little easier (though I admit I may fail at times)... and by expressing my thanks once in awhile.

Some of us have known nothing other than the JW lifestyle. Many of us were completely shattered when we realized the real truth about the "truth". Our world went upside down. Everything we believed was a lie. This place has been a lifeline for many.