There has been some confusion of late — since the dawn of dogs, actually — as to what qualifies as a chew toy and what does not. To help you understand the difference between approved items for your teeth and those your human would really prefer you leave alone, we offer the following list of 10 Things That Are Not Chew Toys.

1. Fingers

We’re talking to you, puppies. You breath may be sweet, but your teeth are like needles when you sink them into our fingers. We understand that growing teeth can be painful, so we promise to give you chew toys and treats made specifically for sore gums.

2. Books

Just so you know, destroying the dog training books will not get you out of said training. And don’t you dare touch our e-readers.

3. Shoes

While we likely will never own shoes as fancy as those featured in the above French Vogue editorial spread, we still would prefer you not use our footwear as chew toys.

4. Purses

Purses should never be left within a dog’s reach. They often contain items that could make you sick if swallowed, such as medication and sugarless gum and mints. As far as the items in there that won’t harm you, as well as the actual purse, it would pain us to see them destroyed.

5. Furniture

Many of your chew toys have stuffing, so you may wonder why couches, chairs, and pillows are any different. Because we said so. Follow this general rule: If it gets sat or slept on, consider it off limits to your teeth.

6. Plants

We promise not to bring plants poisonous to you into the home unless they can be kept well out of your reach. To be on the safe side, though, steer clear of anything in a pot.

7. Underwear

Moxie, the beloved pup of Dogster Editor-in-Chief Janine Kahn, loves to steal her underwear, but he most certainly does not gnaw on it. Follow his lead, or better yet just leave it in the hamper.

8. Power Cords

In addition to costing us big bucks to repair or replace, you could hurt yourself chewing on a power cord if plugged in. Don’t believe us? Check out this article from PetMD.com.

9. Electronics

We promise to spend more time playing with you and less time staring at screens if you keep your teeth away from our electronics. Deal? Also, we vow not to confuse you with chew toys that look like phones, TVs, and the like.

10. Walls

Another general rule to follow: Do not chew on the house. This applies to walls, trim, doors, steps, floors, windows, cabinets, and doorknobs. Did we leave anything out?

So, are we on the same page now, pups? Consult your particular human, or humans, if anything remains unclear. Also let them know that there are plenty of chew toys and treats available to keep you occupied — and some even have health benefits! — as well as training if separation anxiety causes you to chew inappropriately.

Sincerely,

Humans of the World

Let’s hear from you, readers. What do the dogs in your house like to chew on? Good and bad. Share stories and photos, please!