Yesterday, two female state representatives in Michigan were banned indefinitely from speaking on the floor of the State House because they refused to fall in line during a debate about abortion. The Republican who banned Reps. Lisa Brown and Barb Byrum said some nonsense about "decorum," and another GOP-er took offense at her use of "no means no." But this excuse doesn't make a lot of sense, and so the women have been left to speculate about the real reason they were given the boot. Byrum spoke out of turn, but Brown's most egregious crime seems to be using the word "vagina" in the presence of delicate Republican man-ears. So what's a female legislator trying to defend her vagina against government intrusion to do?

Infantile slang! Here are 50 ways that Michigan women can use to refer to their "special husband zone" around men who find medically accurate words for women's anatomy offensive, and suggested ways to use them in a sentence.

1. Love cave
Honey, can you go buy me some tampons at the store? My love cave is bleeding.

2. Baby chute
When I get home from work, I want you to put your mouth on my baby chute.

3. Forbidden area
It may seem unfair that Adam makes more money than Molly simply because Molly has a forbidden area, but that's the way of the world.

4. Basement
The President inserted a cigar into Ms Lewinsky's basement, then put the cigar in his mouth and said: "It tastes good"

5. Kid factory
Did you hear that Virginia passed a law requiring trans-kid factory ultrasounds for women seeking abortion?

6. Sin gash
My roommate's not going out tonight because she has a yeast infection in her sin gash.

21. Penis house
I want to try using a Diva Cup, but I fear that my penis house is oddly shaped.

22. The not-so-fresh place
Moving from phonetics to etymology, ‘the not-so-fresh place' originates from a word meaning sheath for a sword.

23. Pelvic interior
As compensation for their labors, men are given periodic use of a woman's pelvic interior.

24. Kant
So few men understand how to navigate Kant.

25. Vulva

So there you have it! Nice, sanitized words for ladyparts that won't scare Republicans. But a word of advice, for future reference: if you can't bring yourself to say the name of the thing you're trying to legislate, you should probably just let that shit go. It was never yours to begin with.