Grayling: The future is Brussels…sprouts

Chris Grayling has expanded on comments he made at the weekend when he explained that if foreign food prices increase dramatically post-Brexit “everyone can just eat more British produce”.

Pictured holding a turnip, Grayling said today “If we walk away from Europe with a ‘No Deal’ situation it honestly won’t be a problem.

“If imported pasta, cheeses, wines, chocolates and meats happen to become unaffordable for all but the wealthy, you can all just fill up on British food. Like the humble sprout, for instance. They’re brilliant!

“Well, they taste like the Devil has just spat in your mouth, but they’re very good for you, according to my old nanny.”

Asked how British food producers would suddenly be able to fill a large gap in the average shopper’s basket, Grayling said “Well I expect the farmers will just grow more. And sell it cheaper too, out of patriotism. They won’t want all their best produce being sold to Europe for higher prices than impoverished British shops can pay.

“And if there’s any shortfall then everyone can just pop up to their allotment and stick a few spuds in the ground.

“It’s not hard, people. Look at the Blitz! The general public fed themselves and the army and won the Second World War single-handed! And Brexit will only be slightly worse than that.”

Mabel Fingerbang, an OAP who was around in the 1940s said “I remember the War. We ate cabbage and potato a lot. Our ‘ice cream’ was sprouts pureed in pig fat.

“Not that food improved much in the subsequent decades. Come to think of it, it wasn’t until we joined the EU that we started getting all this great foreign produce.

“But those were also the days when we didn’t have to do what Europe told us. We just had to do what the upper classes told us. It was fucking terrible.”