Looking for a Christmas gift that the giant tool… Er, giant tool-lover in your life will love? Look no further than the Wenger 16999 Swiss Army Knife Giant. 674 Amazon customers can’t be wrong, can they?

With over 87 implements, the sleek and subtle device is able to perform over 141 functions, from apple coring to fish scaling. It’s a steal at just $9000 plus shipping, meaning you won’t feel so bad about the second mortgage you’ll need to take out to pay for it. According to users, if you leave the knife in your car overnight, it’ll even fix it up, drive it into town, and return with 2 hookers and a cooler full of beer. Now that’s value!

In case you’re still having doubts, we’ve compiled some Amazon reviews from satisfied Wenger customers that will definitely sway you. If you’re stumped on what to get everyone else on your list, check out some more products that received Amazon praise.