Ray William Johnson – Confessing My Love

[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)] Source: LYBIO.net
Alright today, we are gonna start off with something really simple but really kind of cool. This is a Mexican stand off between a cat and a dog (CAT VS. DOG).

[Cat Vs. Dog – Clip]

[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)] Source: LYBIO.net
So they are staring each other down, right! I mean looking at each other for like 5 minutes like, (correct use of the word b^tch) make a move then b^tch! So I’m watching them stare at each other and I’m like you guys just need to f(beep)king get it over with (puppy love?) Cause I’m bored watching this (kitty p)rn?) But then near the end of the video! The dog moves in for the attack! I do feel sorry for that dog though! I mean, it looks like he just want to play.

[Voice High Pitch – Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Hey, my name is Tony! What’s your name? Do you play X-Box? Oh Geezus!!

[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)] Source: LYBIO.net
Now that video got 400,000 views in just a few days! Its great it’s funny it’s hilarious and sh(beep)t and I don’t wanna spend that much time on it, cause I wanna spend more time on the last video. So ya, let’s do that cool transition thing.

I’ll Transition Whenever the f(beep) I Want. Anytime, anytime you wanna – Brandon, is my editor, you are an @sshole!

[Cool Transition]

[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)] Source: LYBIO.net
Thank you.

[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Now, after this past weekend I think that we can all agree that Hurricane Irene is a b^tch! And you know what Lil Wayne says to do about b^tches? F(beep)k em! (F%rnic@te With Them)

[Hurricane Streaking – Clip]

[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Anyway this is a live news report during Hurricane Irene, I want you to pay attention to the guys who are running in the background.

[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)] Source: LYBIO.net
Now, I’m no weather expert (I’m just naturally gloomy) I majored in History, I know nothing about weather! Why in the hell is this guy whipping out his d(beep)k (the barometric pressure is…) in the middle of a Hurricane like it’s a f(beep)in barometer (flaccid). Here is a serious question, if you a guys boner during a Hurricane does that mean 6 more weeks of winter or 6 more weeks of summer (you are probably in Alabama). (6 more inches of winter) Cause, if it’s 6 more weeks or winter, you don’t want to (is an average length winter) to run outside naked cause everyone watching the news it going to say the exact same thing.

[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
Man! You can’t hate on a guy for having a small d)(ck during a damn hurricane! It’s cold man! (to be fair it was a small tv) some shrinkage can occur, also I can’t blame the guy, sometimes I also go places with my p&n^s hanging out! You know (elementary schools) Walmart and such. BTW, this video aired live on the Weather Channel. And this is by far the most exciting thing to ever happen to the Weather Channel, f(beep)in EVER! HEY! Bob, how bad was that Hurricane? Man! It was really bad, I got hit in the head with a d(beep)k.

[Cool Transition]

[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)] Source: LYBIO.net
Now this last video is our biggest, getting almost a million views in 4 days. Now, I don’t normally review like celebrity driven videos (because most of them suck) just because they get enough attention, but this particular one is, its special so, Jim Carrey, famous actor comedian Jim Carrey makes this weird (The Truman Show 2) like video – all of a sudden, puts out a f(beep)in video confessing his love for Emma Stone!

[James Eugene “Jim” Carrey (born January 17, 1962)] Source: LYBIO.net
Emma, I just wanted to let you know that I think youâ€™re all the way beautiful. And if I were a lot younger, I would marry you, and we would have chubby little freckled faced kids. And the sex?

[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)] Source: LYBIO.net
You know when I first saw this, I was confused, I was like, what? Jim Carrey wants to f(beep)k that girl from Harry Potter (Emma Watson). No, no, no! It turns out it wasn’t her. It was Emma Stone! (Emma Stone) Now, why does it surprise anyone that Jim Carrey wants to get a little easy “A” from Emma (he’s going to leave no stone unturned) Stone. Who wouldn’t hump Emma Stone? (Elton John, Clay Aiken, George Michael, Neil Patrick Harris, Iam McKellen and Smithers) The god damn Pope wants to hump Emma Stone, look at her. But I don’t know why is he’s made this creepy video while staring into the camera like he’s some kind of registered s^x offender. I mean, Jim Carrey doesn’t have a problem with women! (women love me who talk out of their anus) I mean if you are Jim Carrey, you have one pick up line, one – you are Jim Carrey, you walk up to women and you go: “Hi ladies, I don’t know if you noticed, but I’m Jim mutherf(beep)ing Carrey! Then they immediately start fell@tingg him (that means bl)w job) I would. And you know it’s bulls(beep)t cause I made a video exactly like this like, three months ago confessing my love for Ellen Page. And the b%tch files a restraining order. Now, people are quick to tell me that Jim Carrey was just joking here, now, help me out here, I think he is joking but he’s also not! I think it’s one of those things where you’re ohhhh nooooo I was just kidding Miss Stone. (guys are never kidding about s&x) but you know, if you’re down, you know we can do it. Source: LYBIO.net

[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)] Source: LYBIO.net
Don’t get me wrong, I love Jim Carrey, I love his work and I think we should all follow his led, we should all make videos just confessing our love to our celebrity crush.

[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ) Love Message To Danny DeVito] Source: LYBIO.netDanny Devito: I would marry you and we would have short fat disgustingly, Hideous, children and the sex ummmm. Tell me you won’t f(beep) Danny Devito! (I’d be his TWIN). Tell me you wouldn’t f(beep) Danny Devito – You ARE LYING! You’re lying, if you saw Danny Devito in the street (I’d show him my Penguin) you would run at him with your chunk out like. But you know what isn’t so small (my heart) the comment question of the day which comes from a user named bam lifeisafiesta91 and she said:

[lifeisafiesta91]
Hi, Ray! My comment question of the day is: Who is your favorite super hero?

[Ray William Johnson (RayWJ)]
So who is your favorite super hero?

[Ray William Johnson]
Leave your interesting and creative responses in the comment section below, or on Facebook, Twitter or Google + Or just leave your f(beep)king answers anywhere, leave them under my door step, I don’t give a s(beep)t.

[Cool Transition] Source: LYBIO.net

[Ray William Johnson]
But thanks for watching todayâ€™s episode of Equals Three, Iâ€™m Ray William Johnson, and I approve this message. So tell me guys, what’s you Hurricane name??

[Hurricane Streaking – Clip]
Honestly this is depressing to watch at the moment.

Ray William Johnson – Confessing My Love. I love Jim Carrey, I love his work and I think we should all follow his lead, we should all make videos just confessing our love to our celebrity crush. Complete Full Script, Dialogue, Remarks, Saying, Quotes, Words And Text.