let's have a war

‘BudgetTravel.com’ Joins War On Christians

Quick, everybody! To the Youtube version of the Book of Leviticus! There, you can listen about what kind of extra-virgin olive oil to anoint yourself with while you scatter the ashes of BudgetTravel.com’s charred corpse! But why are you sacrificing Budget Travel to your cruel and vengeful Yahweh? Oh, only because it hates all Christians, and Jesus, and YOU. It held an online poll asking what beloved American landmarks every kid should see by the time s/he is 15, and the Creation Museum in Kentucky (where else?) totally came in first, but then Budget Travel did not include it in its blog post or whatever, because it doesn’t think the Creation Museum has “universal appeal.” AS IF. Like it is not a fact universally appealing that the world is 6,000 years old, and Noah rode a dinosaur to his job at the Slate Rock and Gravel Company!

Noting the company explanation that the Creation Museum did not fit into a “universal appeal” profile, the ministry said, “We are certainly aware many evolutionists fear exposing children to the sort of critical thinking encouraged by a visit to the Creation Museum. And while we never discourage parents from taking their children to museums such as the number two choice on Budget Travel’s list – the Field Museum of Chicago, home of ‘the biggest Tyrannosaurus rex fossil ever dug up’ – we do suggest they go armed with a bucketful of discernment.”

But such blatant Oppression of Christians is not the only reason you should be SO MAD at Budget Travel! Let us see what kind of godless places did make their list! The US Space and Rocket Center? “Science.” Hawaii’s Volcanoes National Park? Heathens. The Metropolitan Museum of Art? New York and Jews. Hoover Dam? Taxes and big government “solving” all our problems! Museum of Science? SCIENCE IS RIGHT THERE IN THE NAME! The Birmingham Civil Rights Center AND the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library & Museum? If God didn’t want black people to be slaves, he wouldn’t have sent the children of Ham to be slaves, it is right there in the Bible, HELLO.

In conclusion, BudgetTravel.com has infringed on the Creation Museum’s First Amendment right to be in its list of universally appealing things that all children should see, so please take your children to Kentucky at once, or else you are some kind of Jew, the end.

Rebecca is the owner, editrix and publisher of Wonkette. She was in newspapers for a very long time. Follow her on the Twitter. She is currently on maternity leave (until 2033), so you didn't just read this post.

Before the fall of man, dinosaurs were pretty much the main way pre-diluvian adolescents lost their virginity. It was only after that the dinosaurs started eating everyone. And then the flood came and killed the dinosaurs (thank God!)

LettucePrey

No, dinosaurs were made extinct in the Middle Ages, when they breathed fire and were hunted by knights. This is what happens when a new scientific discovery has to be hastily explained and squeezed into the creationist myth. Damn those nosy, faithless scientists, and Michael Crichton, also, too!

V572 Is this him?

Which is why hunting is a sacred right and an obligation, guaranteed by the Second Amendment, as everyone knows.

Apart from everything else, why a peoples who has survived for over a hundred centuries should choose to be guided, in its current technological stage of development by the myths of a bunch of goatherders from the nomadic stage of its development over TWENTY CENTURIES OLD is beyond me. We've learned a few things since those guys were running around chasing goats in the desert, doods.

The exhibits might be pretty amusing, but I think the patrons would send me solidly into "scream and run away" territory.

FraAnima

After several benign purple microdot and Mr. Natural excursions, I took a significantly bad trip at a lovely friend's party courtesy of windowpane. I don't even want to THINK about the horrors that would be revealed at the Creation Museum.

HogeyeGrex

Legions of angry, inbred Sta-Puft Marshmallow Monsters gathered like the brooms in Fantasia? Giving you the stink-eye for any reaction other than awe and reverence? What could possibly go wrong?

Thanks, no. I'd rather repeat nearly being pushed off of a 1500 foot cliff while tripping balls.

It's almost as if these people are too ignorant to realize that there is such a thing as an objective TRUTH, a set of facts to which we all are bound to agree regardless of our feelings on the matter. You know, like the age of the universe, or our planet, or the theory of evolution or the laws of physics.

They're so very deeply ignorant that if they ever take over the reins of power, we're in for a wild, if short, ride.

George Skullfry

Oh, I dunno. Thinking about the Creation Museum does encourage me to go critical.

CarbonDating

Hey Second Amendment rights too, what with Jethro and Jesus ARMED with bucketfuls off discernment.

sharethegrief

Creationists call these chamber pots.

smashedinhat

Can't they put an impenetrable dome over this place already? In a 100 years or so there will be a fairly sizeable population of escaped zoo chimps or something that we can better relate to.

Come here a minute

Did they ever think that maybe one of the reasons is not everyone has an unlimited amount of money to spend on the super high cost of travel to fancy destinations such as Petersburg, Kentucky? BUDGET is right in the name!

RedneckMuslin

"We are certainly aware many evolutionists fear exposing children to the sort of critical thinking encouraged by a visit to the Creation Museum"

Their thinking is to be very critical of evolutionists.

freakishlywrong

Pretty soon they'll be calling us "factists"

freakishlywrong

I'd have to be drunk, high and tripping to get through the creationist museum. I'd probably pee on an exhibit.

YasserArraFeck

I think wandering through the Creationist Museum hammered would be quite entertaining – kind of like Mystery Science Theater 3000 in 3D

We could go together. I'll bring bags of dog poo we can light and place at each exhibit. Sort of a tribute to each. An offering in keeping with the high quality of their contribution to the state of education and science in this nation.

Generation[redacted]

Silly tourists, the Bible is the only travel guide you'll ever need! It has maps and a diagram of the Noah's flood gates and everything.

Fairtackle

OOh, they have a planetarium! I really want to see the flat earth with the sun and planets revolving around it.

Truth be told, I kind of want to visit the Creation Museum, for lulz. In the photos, Adam looks like the bass player in a Janis Joplin tribute band, and Eve is a demure little fox who could be Juliet in a Guatemalan school play. Her long hair is (of course) glued over her perky breasts and Adam’s got his as-yet-unnecessary junk behind a fig speedo. Oh, and he has a belly button. Whoopsie!

Visitor: Sir, Adam has a navel? Why did you give Adam a navel if he was the first man?
Tour Guide: Uhn, Well God created Adam in his own image, just as we all are and you have a navel.
Visitor: If God crated Adam in his image, why does God have a navel?

littlebigdaddy

Flintstones libel!

CommieLibunatic

No, fuck Flintstones. Not only unfunny, but now people are treating it like it's a documentary.

“We are certainly aware many evolutionists fear exposing children to the sort of critical thinking encouraged by a visit to the Creation Museum."

Oh. So just a minor variation on X = DefinitelyNot(X)

IE: Critical Thinking = (Believe Us Cuz We Say So. And jeebus, also)

coolhandnuke

The creators of Flinstone's Chewable Vitamins made the executive decision to not include vitamins of Betty Rubble in their product for fear that kids would proudly and wickedly claim "I'm eating Betty Rubble."

The "bucketful of discernment" can be purchased from the gift shop, which is suspiciously located next to the manger with the live farm animals.

noodlesalad

I think my children would have more than a few critical thoughts if I brought them to the Creation Museum. Like "Why aren't we at Six Flags?" or "Is that drooling man in trouble or just being raptured?" and "Why are those cousins married?"

MissTaken

"Why is Jesus a white man?"

BaldarTFlagass

"Daaaad. This place sucks!!! I'd rather go visit Aunt Mabel than this shit!"

I actually see their point. They won the contest, why should they get excluded. It's not like the Field Museum in Chicago has 'universal appeal,' whatever that means. I'm sure there are quite a few people that would find a trip to a Natural History museum to be completely unappealing.

veritass

I plan to take my kids to the Creation Museum someday. It will be part of my parenting series on "Pointing and Laughing in Public."

Wut, rly? So all the little innocent baybeez who suffered for eons through Purgatory, pouf, Jebus dies and they all go straight to Heaven? Does anyone EVER EXPLAIN IT TO THEM? Huh? Anybody? Or do they just sit there wondering what the fuck happened, here I was all suffering and what not for ten thousand or a hundred thousand years and suddenly I have wings and a little harp?

doloras

One would assume Jesus would explain it to them, if he weren't so busy hiding from his fan club.

BudgetTravel responds: "As a travel company, we still believe exposure to the wide world should make people smarter, not dumber — therefore we've excluded shrines to ignorance from our list of places to go. If you want to get dumber, you can do it far more cheaply than going to the Creation Museum (which charges $25 admission, if you can believe that) by sitting at home and hitting yourself in the head with a hammer."

People paying $25 to see this crap is actually the strongest case AGAINST evolution I've seen.

BaldarTFlagass

Maybe the Budget Travel people figured out that a bunch of Christians came to their poll and filled in Creation Museum there. Kinda like how Colbert got a bridge named after him in Budapest. There's a name for doing that but I just woke up from a short desk nap and am a little fuzzy right now.

Um, Christians, the creation "museum" is AGAINST critical thinking, and in fact thinking in general.

prommie

So who organized the bible-tards to stuff that online ballot box? Fucking bumblefuck assholes are ruining this country in every way, great and small.

CrunchyKnee

Why did they put a likeness of Joey Ramone in that diorama?

widestanceromance

?/cuz they didn't listen to NPR this morning?

anniegetyerfun

HA! Was gonna say that.

OneYieldRegular

I would totally go to the Creation Museum if (unlikely) I ever happened to find myself anywhere near it. I'd offer them a Bible in exchange for free admission. If they didn't accept it, I'd just have to adopt Satan as my savior.

DahBoner

"The boy who touched the president’s hair"

We got your bucketful of discernment right here in our moonshine jug…

THIS IS NOT IN THE BIBLE! COMING TO YOUR INBOX? SOON!?? 1!!! 1!!!!

freakishlywrong

WWKODWJR? What kind of Dinosaur would Jebus Ride?

Jus_Wonderin

Are there white dinosaurs?

freakishlywrong

Jesus, stupid. WKODWJR. For Chrissakes.

niblick77

"critical thinking" – oh, thank you, I just got a layoff notice and I needed a good laugh!

Nostrildamus

"… we do suggest they go armed with a bucketful of discernment.”

Uhhh, that's not discernment.

StealthMuslin

Eff you, BudgetTravel.com! The Creation Museum has the best glory holes in America!

Stevola

Glory hole-aleullah!

MissTaken

I don't think they understand what a 'museum' is supposed to be.

HogeyeGrex

I don't think "museum" is alone in that category.

__kth__

Budgettravel.com deserves to die for having a freepable online poll. Also for not notifying Wonkette, so we could run up the score for the Bunny Ranch, Scores, Plato's Retreat, and other such wholesome places.

BaldarTFlagass

Whoever put that exhibit pictured at top together for the Science Fair—it's pretty obvious that your parents helped, and also you'd better hope Richard Dawkins isn't one of the judges.

widestanceromance

WTF kind of parent would take a child to Kentucky?

YasserArraFeck

The kind that goes "Well, kid – this is where you could end up if you don't work hard and get into a good school…"

widestanceromance

I had not considered that the kids could see the social equivalent of dinosaur bones, so as long as they stay in the car with the doors and windows locked, it might be OK.

valgal2342

1. The Creation Museum was "created" by an Australian! Damn Aussie wing nuts!
2. Kentucky is a beautiful state, we have some of the best camping, lakes, caves and outdoor adventure anywhere.
3. I guess you've never heard of the BOURBON TRAIL. Or the Kentucky BOURBON FESTIVAL. Ok, not for kiddies but the Slugger Museum is! The Frazier Arms Museum, (kids love weapons!) The Muhammad Ali Center, Mammoth Cave, the Largest Cave system in the world.
4. The Kentucky Derby Festival.
Ky has some of the greatest lakes for fishing, camping, sailing and water skiing.
How about the Land Between the Lakes in W. Ky? Amazing wildlife.
I love my state. We have our wing nuts and Teabagger morons like everyone else, but it's a beautiful state with lots of parks and outdoor adventure at affordable prices to get your damn rug rats off the couch and the techno shit out of their hands and outdoors for exercise, experiencing the natural world (science!) and much more.

widestanceromance

Whatever I said about some of the inhabitants does not, of course, apply to the natural world, which even in some hell-hole like Arizona, has a beauty mere mortals cannot approach.

extreme_left

Well it is important to see where kentucky fried chicken originates.

valgal2342

You would not believe the bus loads of Japanese people (and others from around the world) who come to London, KY just to see that! And the "World Chicken Festival" is a good one.

owhatever

I would go to visit the Creation Museum, but it's in Kentucky. Last non-white person who went in there was ground up into pancakes for a church social. I am white, but why take a chance?

valgal2342

That's bullshit.

valgal2342

I guess you would be too afraid to come visit the Muhammad Ali Center then huh?

As someone on the Budget Travel site pointed out, Kentucky is also the site of Big Bone Lick. This is a much better place to take your kids. They'll definitely tell all their friends about it, especially if they are 11-year-old boys.

I would be embarrassed to send my children to this circus masquerading as a museum. Ken Ham is a liar and a fool. – Jerry

Fantastic experience, great media displays and outdoor trails, thought-provoking, science and cultural examinations. Wonderful family and children field trip. We paid a small amount of money to have a behind the scenes dinosaur tour with Buddy Davis–it was outstanding! – Starr

"The exhibits are fantastic" Can't argue with that. – Glen Davidson

I can't wait till we can go back again. It's a great place for anyone at any age. – April Joyce

Ken Ham is a disgusting liar and everyone who believes what he says needs urgent psychological help. – hurrrr

Talked to an old college buddy of mine the other night; he is in the petroleum business and lives in Oklahoma City. He's pretty right wing when it comes to money (he is very good at finding oil and that = profits so he's a millionaire now), but he was telling me about how his 7th grade daughter got sideways with her science teacher about some facts and he had to meet with her, at which point the teacher told him that she was afraid that little Brooke was a *gasp* Darwinist! Teacher was even more horrified when he said "Damn straight, that's how I raised her." I told him he should look into pulling his girls out of OK public schools and send them to private school, since it appeared as though he could afford it. He said that up there in OK, private school means church school and that'd be even worse.

elburritodeluxe

Visitors, do not be alarmed by the minority sitting near our dinosaur. It is only a display.

Yeah, I don't see how a museum dedicated to one particularly hyper-literal interpretation of one religion's creation story, which not only contradicted by other elements of itself, but also by a middle-schooler's knowledge of biology, physics, geology, astronomy, chemistry, volume, or geography, could possibly be considered anything other than universal.

ttommyunger

"Creationist". That's the same as "making shit up out of thin air", right?

Eve8Apples

I think every parent should take their kids to the Creation Museum.

FIRST, the kids must read and comprehend Darwin's "On the Origin of Species." Then, the parent takes their kids to the Creation Museum and points and laughs at the bullshit exhibits. The parents explains to the kids that if you use meth, drink cheap, crappy liquor and don't do your homework, then you'll end up as stupid as the motherfuckers who built the Creation Museum.

occams8ball

The creation museum is one of very few field trips for the home schooled where the years spent protecting them from information won't be flushed down the toilet. Thanks to their parents paranoid stubbornness, these pitiable young adults will be left with no other options for higher education except perhaps bible college.

Scarletyoshi

Sample Critical Thinking Question:

Are they fucking serious?

RavenRant

So I'm "some kind of Jew" now? Great! It's gratifying to be a part of G-d's Chosen People.

When do I get initiated into the International Banking Conspiracy? Let's try and make it quick, because the cupboard is bare.

Schmegeg

Let's face it, if you are near Petersburg KY you are totally GOING to the Creation Museum.

Butch_Wagstaff

Their "Eve Was A Pill-popping, Abortion-Having Slut" exhibit is not to be missed!

justincasetoo

OK. So lets do some critical thinking:
a) God made the world in six days and six nights. Question: Why TF? What was the hurry? God as I understand has eternity at his disposal. Answer: We don't know but it says so in the Bible so it must be true.
b) The world and all in it were created just six thousand years ago. Q: How do you know? A: It say so in the Bible, so it must be true.
c) The Bible was written as individual books over a period of seven hundred years by different authors. Q: Why didn't God just talk through one person? After all its not such a long book. A: Don't know but you are not supposed to question God's ways.

So there you have it folks. The essence of Critical Thinking.

Are you sure yo'all won't change your minds and come see us in Kentucky? WE have all the answers!!!!!

anniegetyerfun

Oh, nice of the creationist museum to have their marketing people stop by and register on Intense Debate in order to make a comment on Wonkette. Good on the rest of you for not feeding the (to be fair, very polite) troll. It's taking all of my effort not to snark on them directly.

Negropolis

Hey, if they label it an amusement park, I'd be all right with it. 'Cause it ain't nothing more than entertainment and bad entertainment, at that.