Happy Birthday to us!

Thursday

May 17, 2007 at 12:01 AMMay 17, 2007 at 5:16 PM

A while ago, I went to a dear friend’s 80th birthday party. It was a wonderful time, full of the enjoyment of good food, friends and gifts. It got me wondering what birthday celebrations were like for our ancestors.

Karen Proctor

It seems that New Englanders in the 19th century often marked these personal milestones, but generally did not celebrate them with parties or gifts. In fact, they were often marked as days of personal reflection, by taking stock of life accomplishments (or the lack thereof) and in the mourning of the loss of dearly departed family and friends. In his article “Happy Birthday (or Not!),” historian Tom Kelleher quotes a gentleman from Salem who wrote in his diary in 1813, “This day I enter on my 55th year. I am still 34 years behind my father and 11 behind my mother at her death. But the greater part of the children are gone before me.” No party for this fellow, I fear, although I think he could have used one!

By the 1830s, some of the wealthier city dwellers were beginning to indulge their children with gifts on their birthdays. Merchants of this period began to encourage the giving of gifts on all special occasions. Children’s books with stories emphasizing a heavy moral or evangelistic tone, and those with extremely sentimental stories became popular. Gifts were considered frivolous, but a good lesson in morality was worth its weight in gold.

It is interesting to note that during this period, the birthday of George Washington, who died in 1799, became a much-celebrated event. Our ancestors soon changed the day from one of national mourning to a day of celebration, with dancing and toasting.

It is unclear when the birthday of the average American adult turned from a day of reflection at getting another year older to a day of celebration of another year of life, but I, for one, enjoy celebrating the latter!

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