The only thing more annoying than forgetting where you parked your car is remembering exactly where you parked your car and finding that space between the two neighboring cars as empty as Jacob’s kettle.

As much as this employee of a popular Woodinville dining establishment wanted to believe that there had been some kind of mistake or that he was in the middle of a revolting dream, reality hit like a speeding 18-wheeler: He was the victim of auto theft.

The auto went missing sometime between 1200 hours and 1730 hours.

Barring any postcards from the car vacationing in exotic locations, there are currently no clues as to its whereabouts.

Please don’t drink and dive

A Woodinville driver’s revelry was rudely interrupted with a dive into a ditch. Unable to come up with a plausible explanation for her peculiar choice of a parking spot, Woodinville police decided to administer a breathalyzer test.

Evidence of that evening’s prior partaking of adult beverages was revealed in consecutive readings of .23 and .24 BAC.

The suspect was cited and released, with her car being towed to a safe haven.

Shop here, not there

A shopping trip to a local grocery turned ugly when the victim returned to his/her vehicle to find that another bargain hunter had done some merchandise selection of the non-reimbursable kind from their car.

Although the vehicle had been securely locked before the grocery excursion, the passenger door was now inexplicably unlocked.

A quick inspection of pockets and pouches revealed that the victim’s keys were, indeed, MIA.

With no spare key onboard, the vehicle was once again locked up until the victim could return with the spare in hand.

Upon return, evidence was abundant that the scoundrel had returned for more five finger discounts, once again leaving the vehicle unlocked. The keys remain at large.