Life just isn't like the movies is it? We're constantly led to believe in resolution in the establishment of the ideal status qua, and it's just not true. Happy endings are a myth. Designed to make us feel better about the fact that life is just another thankless struggle.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

I've just had my last cigarette. I've decided to give up smoking. I can't justify spending $65 a week on cigarettes anymore. Not just that, but I've noticed I'm coughing a little bit when I wake up in the morning. I remember my mum doing the same thing when she used to smoke.

I know it's gonna be hard, I'm already dreading the cravings. But I think with me, its not the nicotine I crave, its the action of having a cigarette. I light up when I'm on the computer, I have one after meals. But half the time I don't even realise I've had the smoke. It'll burn away in the ashtray most of the time. So yeah basically its the action. If I can break that (somehow) I think I'll be OK.

People have suggested I use gum, patches, lozenges to quit. I don't see the point in it. I can't see how a piece of gum or a lozenge will help my hands from reaching for a cig. And isn't that just going from one addiction to another? I'll just try my best going cold turkey and see how I go. I may not succeed, but I sure will give it a good try.

Well, I succumbed (sp?) already. Not to worry tho, I'm trying to do what Jen actually suggested..trying to only have one ever now and then. I've just woken up and I havent had the urge to have one yet. Which is pretty good I reckon! Still, when I finish this lot, I'm gonna try not to buy any more. Stress is a massive factor in trying to give up. I had an argument with someone yesterday afternoon and that's what triggered me lighting up. Like they say, if you fall off the horse, its best to get straight back on it (or some bullshit like that lol)

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