I wanna die young, or not too old, before my 40 years old, because after this age the best part of my life will be in the end, and i don't wanna think "how good my life was" for the rest of my 50 years. And the cause, possible suicide.

I had a strange experience a year or two ago. I lay, beneath a tall fir tree, out in the forest, gazing up into the canopy, aware of the endless, gentle rain of needles, falling to the ground, and onto me. It was cool, the sky overcast, and a raven cackled nearby, patiently. I thought about all those falling needles, gradually covering everything, until there was only an indistinct lump, out in the forest. All trees end up like that, slowly decaying, underneath a ever-deepening carpet of debris and moss. Not a bad end, I thought. easy, gradual, natural... It was sad, but not sad. Poignant, perhaps.

I see myself being made use of, in the end, by birds, animals, insects, and finally by trees. In the manner of plains indians, left out under the sky, on a wooden platform. Probably that will not be the way it will be, but that is how I imagine it.

The manner of my death? A gradual fading out, and losing touch with life, snuggled under my blanket of needles, somewhere in the forest.

But surely you would want to also fight for something. It is not the sword swinging end I look forward to exactly but the feeling of dying with something in your hearth and soul that you would give your life for.

Or maybe it is just the glory of War. Did not Friedrich say something that 'a good war justifies everything'? At least in the finnish translation. I think it's a good quote.

Deciding what to do with our remains might provide more insight into our characters.

Cremation: a final burst of energyBurial (ground or water): becoming part of the bottom of the food-chainLaunched into space: not being prone to Earth's recycling programDonation to medical science: have others learn from your remains (cosmetics would be interesting)Frozen: for unlikely revival