Can you really forgive if you can’t forget
Monday, Jun 6 2011

So I have been laid up the last week from an injury self-inflicted, it’s called old age. Anyway, amongst my recuperation I receive a phone call from 2 old friends from when we lived in Miami, that were in Nola for the weekend and wanted to catch up. It’s strange because we were all transplanted to Miami, be it because of school, work, and the military. I was there because I was married and my ex husband was in the Coast Guard. None of us had any family there nor could we be with our families when we wanted. We would all get for all holidays, birthdays, and go out to the beach on the weekends. There were 16 of us “homeless” as the boys called it. We were a tight nit family. I remember crying at our going away party,I was gonna miss these great group of people who touched my life. My two pals who visited was Aaron and Hunter they were my favorites, always joking and laughing at anything that came their way. I loved hanging out with those two because it was always some funny story that came about. I was a little nervous to see them, don’t get me wrong I was totally excited after 7 years apart. Yeah we talked on Facebook but sitting down and seeing them was different. See, when I divorced it was very unexpected, I was madly in love. Our friends couldn’t believe that he left me, and I was so emotionally distraught. But time went on as so did I, and thought I wouldn’t feel these flood of emotions from my past. So, we meet for dinner, we all can’t believe we haven’t seen each other in so long. I was worried I had aged in my 7 years, but was told otherwise by my guys. Then, the stories of all the good times we had, our weekly dinners I would prepare for everyone, and what happened to my marriage. I hadn’t felt like something was missing until that moment. I guess I just swept my old feelings and emotions under the rug. I remember thinking ” I was so happy, my life was fulfilling, and had everything I wanted. So, I thought, my memories of my past were flooding my mind. This man I shared a great life with together just decided to move on without me. Can you really forgive if you can’t forget,,,, I would like to think so because maybe there was a different path I was to be on at this point in my life. Maybe I deserve to be with someone who will love all of me and not just some of me. We are told as young adults we should forgive and forget. But what if you try to forget just to forgive so that you can move on from this emotional moment in your life. As much as I try to block that time, maybe I should forgive and forget the pain and remember the good times and people I met through our marriage. I am stronger and almost to my happy place. I have hopes and dreams for my future and hope that forgiveness means forgetting my old wounds and move on to a happier future.