Friday, March 22, 2013

A Blogger and a Robot Walk Into a Bar...

Oh my Lord!

Spammy must have known it was Friday and we all needed some
outstanding comments to make it through our day because he was ON FIRE this
week!

For anyone who is new to my regular Friday post topic the
story behind them is I’ve been being ridiculously spammed for the past few
weeks.A normal person would probably heighten
their blog’s security and delete all the comments.But then how would any of us know where to find
a great Abigail Adams head shot or figure out how to get our hands on a top
notch vaporizer?

I’m not even going to do a big write up for an intro because
this guy stole the show this week.So let’s
get going, shall we?

Comment:“How much
fleshlight is too much for you?”

You know, I’ve never really thought about this before.But I agree it’s a question that every girl
must ask herself at some point in her life.You have to know your limits.Me personally,
I have a pretty low fleshlight tolerance but I do know some people who like to
get their fleshlight on ALL the freaking time!It’s a crazy world.

So, I admitted to Mr. Spamtastic that I didn’t really know
what a fleshlight was so he explained it to me.I didn’t understand any of it but I’m assuming this information will be
very useful so I’m going to find a translator right away.Anyone speak Robot?

Comment: “I'm reallyhyped about the Aletta Ocean Primal
fleshlight. In the military, it must be all that unfamiliar.”

Wait…you mean to tell me our military does not have access
to the Aletta Ocean Primal fleshlight?That’s
the best kind! This is a travesty that MUST be remedied ASAP.Those brave men and women are protecting our
country for God’s sake!They deserve to
be familiar with every type of fleshlight.I’m going to write a strongly worded letter to our government about
this.

I can tell that this is an issue near and dear to Spammy’s
heart because he’s “reallyhyped” about it.He got so excited he couldn’t even find the space bar.Now that’s passion, folks.

Comment: “The inside will be soft and the vegetable's
fake vagina green. A Fake Vagina never fishes for compliments.”

I need to get a fake vagina.I’m so sick of my real one being like “I’m so fat today” and I have be
all “No, you’re SO not fat!You’re so
skinny!”It gets old real fast. A fake vagina would NEVER do that!

If vegetables have access to soft, green fake vaginas I don’t
see why I can’t have one.I’m gonna go
talk to that cucumber in my fridge and see where she got hers.

Comment: “The most important thing to know when you are
selling an account is where you are going to sell. WIFI:Als Verbindungsmoglichkeiten
ins Internet stehen Ihnen WIFI wireless lan zu Verfugung. The reason for this
rather strange feature is that, as described above, apps in the Android Market
are listed as they are submitted, without any testing.”

As described above?Oh, you mean “Als Verbindungsmoglichkeiten ins Internet stehen Ihnen
WIFI wireless lan zu Verfugung”?Got
it.Thank you for clearing that up for
me.Now I know exactly where to sell my
account.

Comment: “This is normal and for some other couples it
might be the haiku about the frog jumping in the water and re-insert the sleeve
into the Pocket Pussy.”

The haiku about the Frog and the Pocket Pussy is my
favorite.I was just telling my boys
that story the other day.They loved it!
It’s fantastic bed time reading.

Hold on…we’re talking about the frog and the very small cat
that fits in your pocket, right?I love
how the moral of the story is a good friend will jump into the water if your
sleeve falls off and then re-insert it for you.

Comment: “Now, the guys were still comparing their pocket
pussy's and one of its top lawyers, according to police.”

What do pocket pussy’s and top lawyers have in common?Sounds like the beginning of an interesting
joke. But why are the police involved here?Comparing your sex toys to your attorney isn’t a crime, is it?

Although I heard pocket pussy’s are banned in 16
states.Maybe these guys live in one of
them.And their lawyer is constantly
saying : “C’mon man! Put down the pocket pussy before I have to involve the
authorities.” Some guys just never learn.

Comment: “Sadly, most" thrones" are boring porcelain
white and lack the oomph that can only be offered by a lid that features the
skull of the Pope.”

I got this off eBay to spice up my boring old porcelain throne.The seller assured me that it’s the Pope’s
actual skull.And since it’s from the internet
it must be true.I can’t wait to install
it!

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About Me

I'm a sarcastic tell it like it is mom who knows that parenting is hard...but tequila helps...
Here I tell my story about being a mom of two wild and crazy boys. Enjoy my son's antics, would ya? Someone really should after all...
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