It feels great to be writing again! Thank you, BraveHeart Women, for giving me this opportunity! I can’t wait for their website to be up and featuring all of our articles every month.

This is my February contribution:

Will You Be Your Valentine?

This is the month of love expressed with candy, cards, and countless roses due to Valentine’s Day celebrated on February 14th. Since the 19th century formerly handwritten cards now come in print but they still deliver messages to our loved ones. The most common one we grow up to expect, however, sports this question: “Will you be my Valentine?”

False Expectations

From early childhood on, we are trained to expect at least one card on this occasion asking us to be somebody’s Valentine. In school it denotes popularity, in adulthood the assertion of admiration and appreciation – if you get a card, that is. What happens, though, when you are one of those people whose mother does not even send you a card on this day? Often, we become despondent, munching our self-bought chocolates, watching the media rave about couples, who do not care that you are left out, and silently hating the people on the TV screen.

Getting Real

But really, neither hatred, sadness, nor commercialism get us anywhere, because they are just diversions. In truth, St. Valentine’s Day, though celebrated by various cultures on different days of the year, originated as a liturgical celebration of early Christian martyrs later canonized as saints. The most popular one is Valentinus of Rome, who acted as a minister and healer. He is considered a saint, because he even healed the daughter of the jailer holding him while he awaited his execution. It is his letter, legend holds, that initiated the holiday’s famous question, as he signed it “Your Valentine” as a farewell to this young lady.

How to Be a Saint

Whether this story is true is irrelevant. What is important is that Valentinus of Rome was so filled with love that he was able to give it to people whom the likes of us, when hurt, would prefer to disregard. Do you feel called out? If you are feeling anything but saintly right now, try this:

In order to give love, you need to be love. Being love requires you to love yourself, so start with you.

Feeling like a failure in giving, loving, or anything will keep you away from wholesome love. Practice forgiveness of yourself.

Awareness is an attribute of love. When you notice yourself reacting to people in any other way but kindness, it is a mirror that reflects something inside yourself that needs to be loved and healed.

Unconditional love does not judge; if you are aware of yourself judging either yourself or others, kindly heal that aspect of you that needs attention.

The best way to receive love is to become love. Love yourself first. So, this February, be your own Valentine and give yourself the love and appreciation you deserve!

Bio: Ronja Vieth, Ph.D. is a published scholar, poet, and author from Germany, who teaches and works as an Intuitive Life Coach. Find more information on http://www.englobe.me.