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News Bulletin #2

Published July 18, 2016 by Quirk

NLSIU Students Caught Trespassing

An emergency faculty meeting was convened by the Vice Chancellor on 19th July, 2016. As per Prof. S.V. Joga Rao, a strange phenomenon has gripped students of NLSIU. “I have not had a good night’s sleep for the past week because the Superintendent of Gnanabharti Police Station keeps calling me in the middle of the night complaining about our students. Appalling.” It seems over 20 students from Law School have been found trespassing on private property in the past 4 days. In one incident, the trespasser was found fully clothed inside the SAI swimming pool after hours. As per the complaint filed, he was screaming, “Gotta catch ’em all!” when caught. What is more bizarre is that these students are usually found walking around in circles, repeatedly muttering strange words, like Articuno, Raticate, Vulpix, and the like. When this issue was raised, nobody present at the faculty meeting knew what these words meant, but our very own statutory interpretation expert, Prof. Vishnu Prasad suggested that these might perhaps be some obscure Latin legal nomenclature.

Numerous faculty members have also complained that attendance has significantly dropped and classes are more or less empty these days. When Quirk questioned fourth year student Nikili Rochil about why she hasn’t been on campus for the past three days, she complained- “The gym nearby doesn’t cut it anymore, all the good ones are in Indiranagar.” When approached, campus gym instructor Rocky Rebello said he had no comments.

As a result of the meeting the VC has adopted the tried and tested method of imposing curfews. As per the circular sent to our parents (see image), the curfew has been imposed to protect us from the heavily forested areas of BU, which are infested with Pikachus.