We made our inaugural visit to Norfolk, Nebraska in late May 2020 during the Covid-19 Pandemic. Public parks were now open, but city park restrooms were not. Museums were closed. Shops were open. Masks were required to enter. Restaurants were open at 50 percent capacity.

Cowboy Trail Head in Ta-Ha-Zouka City Park

2201 S. 13th Street Norfolk, NE

Trailhead is accessible on the SW corner of the park.

Once part of the Chicago & North Western Railroad’s Cowboy Line, this limestone trail covers 321 miles from Norfolk to Chadron.

705 South 6th Street- across the street from Norfolk Junior High School

This park is home to the local WWII Memorial and athletic courts lit so citizens can play at night.

We were the only park visitors on a late Saturday morning.

Skyview Park

1900 West Maple Avenue in NW part of Norfolk

This park was busy with guests participating in all sorts of recreational activity while also practicing social distancing. They were kayaking, walking, running, eating picnic lunches and enjoying the picturesque views.

This park has a two-mile trail around the lake and offers Music in the Park on its bandstand.

It has a cross country course and well-manicured disc golf course: No one was playing golf during our visit.

NOTE: Help keep our parks clean. Remember to pick up your trash. There was a good bit of trash in the parking lot during our visit. Garbage containers are provided throughout the park.

Johnny Carson

Johnny was born on October 23, 1925 in Corning, Iowa. Although born in Iowa, Johnny moved to Norfolk, NE at age eight and always considered it his hometown.

Johnny is rightfully recognized as a national icon and hometown hero in Norfolk.

Johnny Carson Mural Downtown Norfolk, NE. Thank you to life-long citizen who left the coffee shop to take this photo for us. Super hospitality!

One can drive by his boyhood home at 306 S. 13th Street and visit a mural depicting his career milestones in downtown Norfolk at 3rd and Norfolk Avenue.

This means seek permission before using copy or images from this site. Images are available for purchase.

Linda Leier Thomason writes freelance business and travel stories along with feature articles. Her work experience includes a Fortune 500 corporation, federal government, entrepreneurship and small business. Read more about her background and qualifications by clicking on the “Meet Linda” tab above.

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Remaining in one’s home is often a goal but it can result in extreme social isolation. Even if caregivers stop-in to check on the aging person, life often lacks fun and excitement.

Geographically distant family members become overwhelmed with guilt and uncertainty of how to help combat the loneliness from afar.

It becomes worrisome when they hear aging relatives express enthusiasm about social connections in offshore countries and optimism about winning lotteries.

While contests and social media platforms can be fun, they can also cause multiple problems, especially if your loved one begins sending money to unscrupulous ‘connections’ from afar.

Loneliness is linked to disease and even death. Those who feel isolated and alone are sicker and often die sooner.

It’s important to build safe social networks, in person or digitally, at all ages, but especially for older adults living alone.

5 Tips

1. Stay in Touch Frequently & Regularly

Put yourself in their place. Imagine living alone and never speaking to or connecting with anyone other than a retail clerk or medical staffer.

Make it a point to call or visit regularly. Maybe you check-in with a phone call every day at a certain time or every Sunday, for instance, you meet for lunch. Your senior will look forward to each of these contacts.

Increase your contact volume and keep a regular schedule.

While you’re there in person, go through the mail.

Do you see anything that looks suspect, like phony offers of prizes from lotteries and sweepstakes or envelopes from foreign countries? If so, talk about this and remind them of the possible risks of these sorts of activities.

2. Introduce & Teach Technology

People of a certain age may not own or even use technology like those younger than them.

This doesn’t mean they don’t have the ability to learn.

Investing in a computer or tablet with a camera is a great way to help an aging relative feel connected.

Let the grandchild teach them how to use it, establishing a memorable bond.

Check out community education classes for seniors.

A whole new world can open up to an aging relative willing to learn how to use technology.

3. Attend Events Together

Few older adults want to learn a new craft or be pushed into an activity they never enjoyed or participated in while younger.

Instead, go down memory lane with them.

Ask what activities they fondly recall from day’s past. Maybe it’s the annual fall festival or the church fish fry, or even the Christmas concert at the elementary school. Whatever it is, make plans to attend together.

Be sure you get the tickets and make the travel arrangements so the event is worry-free for them.

4. Relive the Old Times

Make a date to sit with them a look through family scrapbooks, home movies and photo albums to relive memories. You may be amazed what new information you learn.

Or, pull out a favorite recipe to make together. Or find a card or board game and play it.

Let them take the lead and tell you what activity from their past brought them the greatest joy, and then do it together with patience.

Doing these beloved activities with grandchildren will only heighten the experience.

5. Community

Maybe your aging loved one was never a “joiner” but it doesn’t hurt to try and encourage them to participate in the many community events for senior citizens.

Get online and research availability and maybe even join them for an activity or two to ease the transition.

It’s proven that social interaction and activity extends one’s life span. This is a great, easy way to start them getting more social interaction.

Denise Craft founded Craft LifeStyle Management in 1988 to ease the burden for families of the aging, veterans, and special needs adults during times of transition. She understands what’s involved in transitioning any individual from their personal home to their next home and to end of life. Her seasoned knowledge of available placement services, housing options, eligible benefits and payor sources, and community resources is endless.

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Who’s Joey?

Joey’s a white, 54-year-old male living in a small town in rural North Dakota. He’s been married for 29 ½ years to fellow Napoleon native, Missy (Sperle).

He’s the proud father of three grown children (Amanda, Megan and Elijah) and has an adorable 9-month-old grandson.

Joey’s the middle child with two sisters and an in-law to Missy’s 12 siblings.

He’s provided for his family as a restaurant owner and manager, retail manager and maintenance worker at the Napoleon Care Center.

Joey loves spending time with his family, especially hunting with his son, mowing the lawn and watching TV.

He’s described as kind, soft-hearted, genuine and sweet.

Joey loves people, but is shy.

He works hard not to hurt anyone’s feelings.

Joey can also be a prankster and a joker.

He has a strong Catholic faith.

Joey has suffered with depression for 34 years.

On December 9, 2016, Joey ended his life by suicide.

Battling Depression

This wasn’t Joey’s first attempt at ending his struggle with life.

Three times he overdosed with medication chased by alcohol. The last time by a fatal gunshot in the master bedroom.

“In the 35 years we were together, it was like a roller coaster ride,” said his wife, Missy. Joey was hospitalized for the suicide attempts. He saw doctors for decades and took a variety of antidepressants. He even had shock treatments, which worked for a few years, but, according to Missy, also affected his short-term memory.

Joey’s depression peaked when he was under pressure or conflict was present in his life.

“Joey loved his family so very much but I believe the suffering just got to be too much. He was so tired of the struggle to keep going,” shared Missy.

Suicide’s Effect on Family

Joey’s children felt deep guilt in the months after his death. “These days were very hard. The kids felt guilty because they didn’t call or visit their dad more often.”

Somehow they believed if they’d have reached out and visited more frequently his suicide could’ve been prevented.

Not likely.

Hilzendeger Family

Joey and Missy often talked about suicide because of his 30-year depression battle. “I knew the day would come where he’d accomplish it. However, I always figured it’d be by means of overdose and not by shooting himself on a day when all the children were coming home.”

Missy assured and comforted her children and told them what she’d say to any family who’s suffered such a loss:

1. This is not your fault. Depression is an illness like cancer, diabetes or alcoholism. It is no one’s fault and certainly nothing to be ashamed of.

2. Use available resources for helping you cope: support groups, pastoral counseling, therapy, physician visits, retreats, spa services-whatever is available to you and makes you feel better.

3. Stay strong. It may feel like you will never get over this. It is not easy and you will never forget. Each day does get better and you will learn to live with it. You have to believe God loves you and will help you through this.

Though she coaches her children and others to be guilt-free, Missy sometimes blames herself for Joey’s suicide. “We were together for 35 years and I just couldn’t bring him back from the darkness this one last time.”

However, Missy has never been angry with Joey for what he did. “We were together so long and I knew how much he struggled on so many occasions. I can’t be angry with him.”

She admits, though, she’s been disappointed that he didn’t fight harder, especially after they had their first grandchild. “He was so unbelievably proud of that little boy.”

Missy is comforted knowing that she and the kids did not miss any warning signs of Joey’s impending suicide. “He battled depression for 30 plus years. Though it was difficult, it was part of our lives for so many years.

I wish I could have him back, but for Joey’s sake, knowing how much he suffered for so long, I truly hope and pray that he is now at peace.”

Moving Forward

Joey is terribly missed by all. Thinking of him brings both a smile to Missy’s face and tears to her eyes.

She talks to him regularly, asking him to watch over the family and to keep them safe, always, but especially from the current pandemic. “I pray every day that Joey is at peace and is right beside God.” That was always his greatest wish.

Missy’s relies heavily on her immediate and extended families to cope and is deeply grateful to each of them for their commitment to her. “They’ve helped so much with everyday life since Joey’s death. I wouldn’t have been able to get through this without them and my faith.”

Her toughest days were the grief-filled ones the first four weeks after Joey’s death. “I cried every day, many times a day. I remember thinking I’d just lost my husband yet everyone is moving on like nothing happened.”

She returned to work and kept busy, yet when summer arrived, she was hit with another wave of grief. She was alone to tend to yard work-one of Joey’s favorite chores that he enjoyed so much.

I had a wake-up call. Life was moving on with or without me. “The pain of his death has not gone away. I have just learned to live with it.”

“It’s been 3 ½ years. Every day is anyone’s guess how the day will be. Some days I feel like crying when I hear a certain song or relive a special memory. The next day, I’m just fine.”

Wishing Missy and her beautiful family days of peace and happiness ahead.

Thank you for sharing your story so that others may have hope.

If you’re experiencing thoughts of suicide, please seek immediate help from a physician or mental health professional. In the US, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). For more information, visit the NSPL web site (www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org).

This means seek permission before using copy or images from this site. Images are available for purchase.

Linda Leier Thomason writes freelance business and travel stories along with feature articles. Her work experience includes a Fortune 500 corporation, federal government, entrepreneurship and small business. Read more about her background and qualifications by clicking on the “Meet Linda” tab above.

Do you have a story idea or interesting person who’d be a great feature? SHARE details below.

Linda Leier Thomason writes
freelance business and travel stories along with feature articles. Her work
experience includes a Fortune 500 corporation, federal government,
entrepreneurship and small business. Read more about her background and
qualifications by clicking on the “Meet Linda” tab above.

Do you have a story idea or interesting person who’d be a great feature? SHARE details below.

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Gypsy Woman

I’m often called a gypsy-a person who wanders or roams from place to place.

I’m okay with that, even if the term is somewhat dated.

My genes seem marked by curiosity, wonderment and adventure.

Travel and exploration are my greatest desires.

Assimilating into and understanding new environments and cultures bring me a complete sense of fulfillment.

Omaha, Nebraska is “home” today.

Home has also been

South Dakota

South Carolina

Georgia

Washington, D.C.

Iowa

Minnesota, and

North Dakota

Where Is Home?

I stumped when asked, “Where is home for you?”

I’m not a smart aleck but rather than list an address, I sometimes respond, “Wherever I feel welcomed and accepted and where my husband and son and his family are. Today, it’s (insert current city/state.).”

Home has never been about a house/address for me.

It’s about a feeling.

I adapt and adjust to whatever space and place I’ve landed in.

Unusual, perhaps, but comfortable and familiar for me.

Lessons Learned

Today I can look back at the eight moves I’ve made to date for education and career and easily identify lessons learned.

1. Fear is a Barrier

FEAR is the # 1 reason I hear most from those who’ve never relocated to another community.

Starting over new in an unfamiliar place leaves many with a Fear of

• Change• Failure• Loneliness and/or being alone• The physical part of moving and relocating• Unknown• Rejection

I’m still searching for the reason I don’t own these fears.

All I can say is that success of one move makes the next and the next and the next easier.

Like anything, giving oneself permission to fail and growing one’s confidence by doing lessen these fears.

Most decisions are not lifetime sentences.

Give yourself permission to change your life, even if that means moving.

2. Adults Have Dormant Friendship Skills

On my 7th move-to Sioux Falls, SD- a woman I did volunteer work with whom I call “friend” today pointed this lesson out to me.

She admitted I was her first new friend since college.

This confession, in our shared late 40’s, stuck with me.

Learning to Catch SD Snowflakes

She’s right. Most of us easily make friends in school and college, some at work.

But how many new friends have enriched your life since these bygone days?

What a loss, if none.

Jobs, children, caretaking, etc. seem to take over a certain part of lives, leaving little time and/or energy for new friendships.

How about this?Find a “new” person and/or family who’s recently moved into your neighborhood, town or community. Reach out.

Including someone is often the best gift you can give, especially someone new to your area/church/workplace, etc.

Ask the “new person” to coffee, for a walk, to dinner, to connect on social media, to book club, etc.

You may find your life deeply enriched by dusting off your friendship skills and making a new friend, especially in your mid to late adult years.

And, if you’re the one who moved, keep in mind, adults aren’t like kids in the neighborhood.

They don’t randomly come ring your doorbell and ask if you want to play.You need to take some initiative and reach out. Get involved.

Entrench yourself into the community. Meet “new” friends.

3. Zip Codes Aren’t Walls

It’s said that most people never travel farther than two zip codes away from their house.

Linda Leier Thomason writes
freelance business and travel stories along with feature articles. Her work
experience includes a Fortune 500 corporation, federal government,
entrepreneurship and small business. Read more about her background and
qualifications by clicking on the “Meet Linda” tab above.

Do you have a
story idea or interesting person who’d be a great feature? SHARE details on the
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As a
teenager, Collin understood the term “gay” to mean someone who liked men, often
times was feminine and usually was seen as less than an individual for liking
the same sex. He and his peer group said “gay” to jokingly describe something
they didn’t like. It was “gay!”

In his household and community being gay was seen as a negative thing. “You didn’t want to become someone like them, meaning-gay.” The term was always used in a derogatory way.

He, himself, used the term to describe others in negative way, which he apologizes for today.

“I think it was such a normalized term to show a thing or a person is not like the rest.”

Signs
& Symbols

Even
while he and his peers were calling something/someone “gay” Collin wondered if
he might be. He

Collin acknowledged to himself that he was gay just before
his 2013 college freshman year, although he kept this understanding to himself.

“It was
a pretty lonely feeling having admitted this to myself but not sharing it with
anyone else.”

He was scared and had tremendous uncertainty about what his future held.

“I was in stress overdrive not knowing what lay ahead as a recent high school graduate already. Adding “gay” to the mix only compounded it.”

He hinted to his family but didn’t openly discuss it until June of 2017 when his dad flat out asked him if he was gay. “Yeah, yeah, I am.” To Collin’s surprise, the chat with his dad went quite well. He’s so grateful for this.

“My dad was a little more okay with it in the beginning than my mom, which is something I didn’t expect.

My sisters were pretty chill and so were all of my friends who already knew.”

“If I had to do it all over again, I’d have come out
sooner, and get to enjoying my life a lot quicker.”

Filtered Behavior

Looking back, Collin acknowledges that his spirit and overall well-being were hindered as a teenager.

“I filtered what I said, how I acted, talked and dressed, which was upsetting.”

He just wanted to be himself without things like, “He’s gay or look at that homo,” being said about him.

Collin lacked gay role models but looked to his grandmother
and a close family friend, neither let others determine their self-worth.

City or Country

Collin moved from rural Nebraska to its largest city to attend college and work. He never felt like he’d have to move to Omaha to be accepted.

However, he acknowledges that it’s easier for a gay person to be accepted, and perhaps happier, when they have gay friends and/or someone who understands them in a way they need to be understood.

He hasn’t detected any barriers to employment but does admit he catches himself filtering certain parts of his life with co-workers.

He tries not to be known as “the gay one” and fights thoughts about worth because of his sexuality.

“Even though I do this, not once have I ever been rejected
or felt out of place by sharing my life with co-workers.”

“I would like to walk down the street and not think twice about grabbing my partner Cody’s hand.”

Though he hasn’t felt unsafe in Nebraska, he has gay friends who have.

He’s an advocate of prioritizing mental health as high as physical health and regularly sees a counselor.

His visits are not for living as a gay man but for maintaining good mental health.

“Every part of my life has benefited from attending regular counseling.”

Rural Youth

Collin has a passion for listening to and guiding gay individuals,
especially in rural areas. Here’s his best counsel:

1. Be yourself, if you can and it’s safe to do so. People
will talk or look or maybe even make a snide comment, but being comfortable in
your own skin is worth so much more.

2. Take steps to educate your parents, teachers, peers or friends on what it actually means to be gay. It’s more than likely not Ru Paul’s Drag Race in real life. Ignorance is a voluntary misfortune, and sometimes it only takes knowing one gay person to change that person’s perception.

3. Support other gay individuals you know who have yet to
come out. Don’t belittle them, or go along with what your friends say around
them. “This is the one thing I regret deeply from high school and early college
years.”

4. It is okay to be different. Homosexuality is a part of
me. It doesn’t solely define me. I have many straight friends and me being gay
would be one of the last things they would use to describe me.

“Having said that, the one thing I’m most disappointed in about being gay is seeing others still treat gay people differently after knowing me, and accepting me for who I am.“

Ahead

Today, Collin enjoys life with Cody, a paramedic in a pre-med and emergency management program.

He likes to travel, hang out with family and friends and tackle DIY house projects.

Someday he’d like to have a family, including children.

His greatest wish is that all struggling with their sexuality
are somehow taken care of.

Adding, “I hope I never have to hear the word “faggot” or
“gay” used in a demeaning nature to describe someone again.”

The most joyous part of his identity journey has been the
individuals he’s had the pleasure of meeting, and those unexpected allies.

A wish, for all.

Cody & Collin. Traveling-his favorite pastime.

What Can You Do?

SHARE this story. You know there’s someone who needs to hear Collin’s story today.

Linda Leier Thomason writes
freelance business and travel stories along with feature articles. Her work
experience includes a Fortune 500 corporation, federal government,
entrepreneurship and small business. Read more about her background and
qualifications by clicking on the “Meet Linda” tab above.

Do you have a
story idea or interesting person who’d be a great feature? SHARE details on the
form.

Negro Leagues Baseball Museum

The Negro Leagues Baseball Museum (NLBM) https://nlbm.co is a privately funded, not-for-profit organization dedicated to preserving and celebrating the rich history of African-American baseball and its profound impact on the social advancement of America. In 2006, the United States Congress designated the NLBM as “America’s National Negro Leagues Baseball Museum.”

Because the Kansas City Monarchs were the most successful team in the Negro League, it’s fitting that this museum, honoring Hall of Fame legends like Satchel Paige and Jackie Robinson, would be located here.

Historic River Market

The River Market is https://kcrivermarket.com/ an officially designated “Historical District”. Major attractions to the River Market include the City Market and the Arabia Steamboat Museum.

The City Market’s Farmers’ Market https://thecitymarketkc.org/ is the largest farmers’ market in the region bringing “Farm to Table” right to the heart of the city with fresh produce and goods on Saturday and Sunday.

The Arabia Steamboat Museum https://www.1856.com/ displays thousands of artifacts from a steamboat and its cargo that sunk nearby in 1856 and was recovered in 1987-88. The market and museum are among Kansas City’s most popular tourist attractions. [Take some coins. Make a wish.]

Jazz in the Afternoon

Green Lady Lounge https://greenladylounge.com/ features Kansas City Jazz musicians in the rich Kansas City tradition. Free of televisions so one can focus on music, atmosphere and conversation.

Open every day of the year 4pm to 3am Sunday thru Friday and 2pm to 3am every Saturday. No cover charge. Open seating.

It doesn’t look like much from the outside. Go inside. It’s very dark and vintage. Sit near the back if you’re with a group and want to visit.

1809 Grand Blvd (between E 18th & 19th St), Kansas City, MO

Kansas City jazz is a style of jazz that developed in Kansas City, Missouri during the 1920s and 1930s, which marked the transition from the structured big band style to the musical improvisation style of Bebop.

The hard-swinging, bluesy transition style is bracketed by Count Basie who in 1929 signed with the Bennie Moten’s Kansas City Orchestra and Kansas City native Charlie Parker https://www.biography.com/musician/charlie-parker who ushered in the Bebop style in America. “While New Orleans was the birthplace of jazz, America’s music grew up in Kansas City”.

Kansas City is known as one of the most popular “cradles of jazz”.

World War I Museum & Overlook

Opened to the public as the Liberty Memorial museum in 1926, it was designated in 2004 by the United States Congress as America’s official museum dedicated to World War I.

The Museum https://www.theworldwar.org/ tells the story of the Great War and related global events from their origins before 1914 through the 1918 armistice and 1919 Paris Peace Conference.

National WWI Museum and Memorial is America’s only museum dedicated to sharing the stories of the Great War through the eyes of those who lived it.

2 Memorial Drive Kansas City, MO 64108

Even if you don’t go inside the National World War I Museum, it’s still worth a visit to the grounds. From the base of the Liberty Memorial, you’ll be treated to one of the best views of Kansas City. [The photo at the top of this story was taken from there, looking down at Union Station.]

Q39 Dinner

There are lots of barbeque choices in Kansas City. We often choose Q39 https://q39kc.com/. We’ve never been disappointed.

There you have it. A full day of memorable activities in Kansas City.

Share this with those you want to visit KSC with this weekend.

Of course, there’s more to see & do in KSC. What’s your favorite? Let me know so it can be added to our next visit. Thank you.

Linda Leier Thomason writes freelance business and travel stories along with feature articles. Her work experience includes a Fortune 500 corporation, federal government, entrepreneurship and small business. Read more about her background and qualifications by clicking on the “Meet Linda” tab above.

What Does It Take to Stop Abusing Alcohol?

When Do You Finally Hit Rock Bottom?

Is It When You

Are
required to undergo random monitoring to keep your professional RN license?

Complete
multiple treatments for alcohol dependency?

Are
placed in a sober living house?

Receive
numerous DUI arrests?

Spend
nights in the county jail?

Nearly
lose your RN career, or

Are placed
on a 24/7 monitoring program for an entire year?

No.

It is only when you are desperate enough to surrender and seek help that a changed life starts.

Meet Twila

Twila is an alcoholic.

She went through each of these experiences and losses
trying to control her drinking.

Early Onset Drinking

Twila grew up in a rural North Dakota farming family the middle
child with two brothers. In high school she participated in basketball, cheerleading,
gymnastics, volleyball and track, along with FFA-Future Farmers of America.

She was social outside of school. She started drinking at
age 13.

Like many students in her area, she partied on the
weekends, easily getting alcohol supplied by the older siblings of her friends.
“We met on the section lines and gravel pits in the country. Sometimes I drank
to the extreme.”

Her dream of going to college, getting married and having a
family came true. And then it all fell apart as alcohol played a growing role
in her life.

Alcohol was often a part of their married social life. “We
entertained other couples with children so no one had to get a babysitter. We
hung out with sports parents who wanted to have a few beers after the events.
There were times I wasn’t done drinking when the event ended for the night.” But
being a parent and having a job often curbed her drinking, when it needed to.

Fitting In

The effects of alcohol helped Twila feel like she was
“fitting in and being a part of.” It helped her feel comfortable in her own
skin. “I was never told growing up I wasn’t good enough or that I didn’t fit
in. I told myself these things. I was always trying to be somewhere else, as
someone else, doing something else.” Alcohol was her solution. It worked right
up until it didn’t work.

Failed Self-Control

She spent many years trying to control her drinking so it
would not go to the extremes. She felt guilt and shame by her behaviors around
her drinking. “I knew I might have a problem when I drank to black outs or when
my husband had to take care of me after I drank too much. We often had
arguments about my drinking.”

She’d trick herself into thinking everything was okay
because she still had things like a house, a car, a job, etc.

But she wasn’t.

Abusing alcohol cost her a lot, including her

Sanity

Peace

Purpose

And
most importantly, her relationships with her children and her 22-year marriage

Rock Bottom

Twila’s desire to keep her RN job defined “rock bottom” for her. “I couldn’t compromise my professional career. It was the last thing I was holding on to. I’d already failed as a mother, wife and family member.” She often felt embarrassed for not showing up to work after spending nights in the county jail for DUIs. Losing her job was too much to bear.

Rehab to Sobriety

1st Time

Twila’s been to treatment for alcohol dependency twice-both
at Heartview Foundation https://heartview.org/ in Bismarck, North Dakota. The first in
January 2014. By this time, she’d run away from home, her marriage and her
children. It was intensive outpatient treatment that lasted until March. She
then attended an Aftercare program once a week. This was to last for five
months.

She couldn’t stay sober.

Twila attended 12-Step Recovery meetings. She could string
up a few months here and there. “I honestly didn’t want to stop drinking.” She
wanted to be a ‘normal drinker,’ to control her drinking and to drink socially.

She was angry. “I was angry at the hurts I’d caused and at
the life I’d destroyed for myself and others.”

2nd Time

Twila entered outpatient treatment again in June 2015
because her drinking had compromised her job. She took time off from work-the
first time in 20 plus years. She still couldn’t stay sober.

Sober Living House

A third DUI in October 2015 resulted in Twila spending a
couple months in a Bismarck women’s sober living house. “I couldn’t trust
myself. Alone time was drinking time.” Consequences of that DUI required 24/7
monitoring for a year and random monitoring for her professional license. “The
combination of these two monitoring programs slowed me down enough to do the
honest inside work that 12-Step recovery asked me to do; as honestly as I was
able to at that time.”

AA-Alcoholics Anonymous

AA is Twila’s solution. “AA has taught me to be comfortable
in my own skin. In addition, I’ve learned to be grateful and humble, and to be
of service every day, especially to the next suffering alcoholic.”

There are three innate traits all addicts need to recover,
according to Twila.

Willful
surrender to the disease and to a program of recovery

Attitude
of gratitude

Humility
without humiliation

Twila believes the #1 thing all those in recovery need is LOVE. “In AA, it is said that we will love you until you can love yourself.” Those still actively using need “a chance to suffer enough to seek a life in recovery” and those incarcerated need “a message of hope that life can look different. That they can press the reset button anytime.”

The organization’s mission is to reduce recidivism and to
erase the stigma of being a felon and a person with an addiction.

It preaches that one’s past does not have to define one’s
future and that you are your own greatest asset. You can refresh!

Twila is actively involved in this growing organization
that today has men’s houses in four cities. In addition, F5 has care
coordinators and peer support specialists in eight anchor cities. And, holds
jail/institution meetings at facilities in seven anchor cities. “Most of the
people working with the F5 project have lived the experience either as a felon,
as someone in recovery or as someone with a mental illness.”

Free Through Recovery

Free Through Recovery is a North Dakota community based behavioral health program designed to increase recovery support services to individuals involved with the criminal justice system who have behavioral health concerns.

Recovery Reinvented

In addition, it’s worth noting that North Dakota’s First
Lady, Kathryn Helgaas Burgum, https://www.governor.nd.gov/first-lady-kathryn-burgum a
person in long-term recovery, has made tremendous impact on recovery efforts in
North Dakota through her addiction platform.

Recovery Reinvented https://recoveryreinvented.com/ is an
ongoing series of innovative practices and initiatives to eliminate the shame
and stigma of addiction in North Dakota. They seek to find solutions to help
people affected by the disease of addiction with proven prevention, treatment
and recovery approaches.

One Day at A Time

Every night before she goes to sleep, Twila says prayers for those needing healing and forgiveness. She awakens with a prayer of gratitude and asks God how she should show up for the day.

Sending Twila prayers for strength in her continued
recovery and patience and understanding in her search for purpose and
self-worth. Deep gratitude for all she does for those seeking to refresh their
lives.

Linda Leier Thomason writes freelance business and travel stories along with feature articles. Her work experience includes a Fortune 500 corporation, federal government, entrepreneurship and small business. Read more about her background and qualifications by clicking on the “Meet Linda” tab above.

I retreated to Camp Verde, Arizona http://www.campverde.az.gov February 2019-one of the snowiest months in Nebraska history. Of course, I had no way of knowing Omaha would top their February record with 27 inches of snow. But I did know that if I was going to find a writer’s retreat in 2019 a warm climate in February sounded like a great plan.

Phoenix and the surrounding area, like Mesa, is popular with Midwestern snowbirds. I’ve visited many times for business and leisure. I enjoy the area but not necessarily the winter congestion.

I was fleeing Nebraska alone and sought an area that was easy to navigate and gave a ‘safe’ vibe.

Lengthy Housing Search

I began searching online in August 2018 for a one-month rental in the greater Phoenix area. That was the equivalent of hunting for gold in an Iowa corn field during July. It didn’t exist. Nearly all accommodations required a 3-month commitment. I had only 30 days.

I widened my geographic search and thus my month long stay in a ranch house rented through http://www.VRBO.com. The property was in the city limits despite being surrounded by what Midwesterners call farms and ranches.

The place seemed ideally suited to a solo female traveler seeking a quiet writer’s retreat for the month. It’s also perfect for a couple exploring Arizona together.

Camp Verde has a number of lodging options: vacation rentals, campgrounds, and hotels.

Peaceful Retreat

Work & Dining Table in Ranch House

Camp Verde, Arizona

Explore Downtown Camp Verde. Walk. Shop. Dine.

Camp Verde was an unknown community to me. I wasn’t quite sure what I’d be driving into about an hour south of Flagstaff. Upon arrival, I found the community was a perfect blend of urban and rural with endless outdoor natural areas, along with multiple historical sites. There was a grocery store, enough dining options, a post office, a drug store, unique attractions and more. It intrigued me. I’d made a great choice.

Linda Leier Thomason writes freelance business and travel stories along with feature articles. Her work experience includes a Fortune 500 corporation, federal government, entrepreneurship and small business. Read more about her background and qualifications by clicking on the “Meet Linda” tab above.

Our first stop was at the ever-popular Volkswagen Beetle Spider at 649 South Chestnut Street.

Spider Car in Avoca, Iowa

You have to get out and take a photograph there, of course.

Library

We ventured downtown on the cold, blustery morning. We
admired the Eagle of Honor Tribute and visited the Avoca Public Library. There’s
a wonderful interactive music station outdoors.

Apples were being given away in the library foyer by generous local homeowners. We bought nearly-new hard covered books at the book sale. We believe in supporting local libraries.

We also picked up a copy of the “Western Iowa Visitors Guide for 2019-20” at the library.

Octagon

It led us to the Octagon Building in Graceland Cemetery.
This building (1875) is on the National Register for Historic Places and was a
gathering place for mourners during inclement weather. The deceased could also
be kept there if the ground was too frozen to permit burial.

Avoca, IA: Graceland Cemetery Octagon Building

The Cemetery itself is a picturesque location with unforgettable
vistas and headstones.

Linda Leier Thomason writes freelance business and travel stories along with feature articles. Her work experience includes a Fortune 500 corporation, federal government, entrepreneurship and small business. Read more about her background and qualifications by clicking on the “Meet Linda” tab above.

Would you like Linda to visit and write a feature story on your community? Nominate it in the comment section below.