Recent revelations in the life of Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas are that he would undergo his third knee surgery in a year and half (costing him the first half of the coming season) and that he got engaged to his on-again, off-again girlfriend of six years.

Well, Agent Zero finally wrote about the engagement on his blog, and not surprisingly, it involves an elaborate scheme to throw a surprise party for his fiancee and tricking her into proposing to him. D.C. Sports Bog sums it up as such:

Now, the full engagement story comes out, and as you might have guessed, it involves a convoluted surprise party, white lie upon white lie, plane trips to and from Miami, a proposed meeting with Barack Obama, a visit from Mos Def, ice sculptures, a moon bounce, the touching revelation that Gilbert’s “done kicked her out of my house almost every weekend, yet she’s still here and she still believes in me,” several flavored ring pops, and a high school-style note which his bride-to-be had to read out loud.

It would have been a better story, but the juggling midgets canceled at the last minute, then the pyrotechnics went off early and set the petting zoo on fire, and of course the fire department didn’t come for an hour because they’re so used to getting pranked by Gilbert, so he had to put the sheep and goats in the garage, forcing him to move his Maserati outside, because the last time he let farm animals in that thing… Well, let’s just say live chickens and leather interior don’t mix.

Join The Discussion

I like how he pulled the trigger all of a sudden. It’s an interesting story, irregardless of what you may think of Gilbert.

09.30.08 at 4:44 pm

WhyDoYouAsk

Several flavored ring pops? Did he get the idea from Orange Soda Monthly?

Agent Zero is the wind beneath my wings (no homo).

09.30.08 at 5:05 pm

Smello Redux

Irregardless is not a word. Just saying.

(Can’t not comment on pet peeve.)

09.30.08 at 5:08 pm

WhyDoYouAsk

Yeah. Everyone knows it’s “unregardlessly”.

And according to my grammar robot, “just saying” is a sentence fragment.

09.30.08 at 5:13 pm

Matt

Whoa, I came here for some dick jokes and a grammar rodeo broke out.

Sweet.

09.30.08 at 5:51 pm

Oliver Klozoff

Family Guy reference. Apparently Matt has edited the last line and made me look like an ass-hat. It originally said something about “a whole nother”. My all of a sudden & irregardless comments were both referring to that.