Friday, December 7, 2007

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

For all of you who have yet to meet Jocelyn, here she is. this picture was taken on Halloween... we had tanner sitting in the window playing the ukulele to try to appease Paul to let us keep her up. It didn't work and she had to be taken down. but we still love her anyways.

if she were in charge of the hall, there is now way we would have seceeded. haha.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Sunday, November 18, 2007

I have embarked on a mission to free my people of the 2200 floor from the tyrant commonly refered to as Paul. I have rallied some supporters and drafted a declaration. We have signed it and will march to the barricades soon to deliver our declaration of independence. We are no longer May hall 2200, but rather the United Emirates of 2200. Here is our declaration:

In an unidentified Room November 17th 2007

The Unanimous Declaration of these rooms of 2200, In the course of a semester, it becomes necessary that individuals must dissolve their ties to forces that do restrict their natural housing rights. Having exercised sufficient appeals and appeasement the people of 2200 floor do feel that it is their solemn right and duty to break the bonds that tie them to oppressive figures.

We hold these truths to be self evident that all men at BYU are created equal. That they are endowed by their housing contracts with certain unalienable rights among these are the rights to study, socialize, and live within the honor code without unnecessary impediment. That to secure these rights, Hall Authority figures are granted certain rights and privileges to aid them in the general protection of these rights. We also do declare that the only purpose of authority figures is to protect and promote these rights. And when upon repeated occasion authority, granted by the people, has been misused to violate the general rights of the people, it becomes necessary and divine that those under such conditions expel the oppressive force.

Among the offenses that May Hall leadership has committed against those among living in the 2200 area are:

The right to view the beauty of the world without impeding barriers upon our windows (aka screens)

The right to fasten appropriate displays on our walls by non-destructive means

The forced defrosting of the ice chests during the living quarters inspection

The frivolous demands placed upon us during times of academic stress

The units of temperature control consistently fail to work

The slandering and attempted removal of our fully clothed and modest Jocelyn

The failure to provide due process and unjust accusations against one Skylar Brown

The Display of music and movies has been suppressed under the guise of federal law, though such localized sharing is clearly allowed under the Copyright Law of 1978: Chapter 1 Section 110 subsection 5.

Requests for funds allocated for public gatherings have been delayed and suppressed

The failure to provide proper space for the removal of daily garbage within a reasonable distance

Paper for the wiping of rumps has been withheld for unknown and destructive purposes. The infrequently provided paper is too thin and rough to be used and is, shall we say, uncomfortable

The showers have not been maintained to a sanitary degree and we bathe in our own filth

The right to Gauntlet has been violated

Private social functions have been excessively monitoredTherefore in the light of such grievous offenses we hereby do shed the name of May Hall 2200. We hereby formally declare ourselves fully independent and place the name and mantle upon ourselves as the United Emirates of 2200. And with that name comes the full immunities and protections that any sovereign living quarters do enjoy, including and not limited to the rights to establish our own lobby and visiting hours. And for the support of this declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine providence, we mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes, and our honor code. (signed, all members of the floor formerly called May Hall 2200)I hope all is well with you and that this revolution may inspire your own desires to overthrow tyrannical rule. May the force be with you.Taylor Jensen

Monday, November 12, 2007

So i get bored while i am studying and for breaks i often go run around in the hallways or go into someone else's room to distract them too. or i decorate my room...

my printer has been broken for a bit and it has taken me FOREVER to fix it, but by some miracle it works now, so great day. my side of the room is now the batcave (you can see the sign hanging down). I have my soccer banners from home, and a skylar decided it would be fun to tape all my cereal, crackers, colored pencils, razor, chips, and granola bars to the ceiling. my room is so festive now!

this is my ski rack. The way i see it is that the prophet has asked us to have adequate food storage. If BYU comes underfire, i'll for sure be able to live in the batcave for at least a week to a week and a half. i have cans of corn, black beans, green beans, apple sauce, pineapples, tuna, pb&J, pringles, doritos, tons of drinks and V8 splash, and the list goes on and on my friend.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

So i got a letter from my boy, Mitt, for my 5$ contribution. And i quote:

"I cannot begin to thank you enough for your generous contribution of $5 to Romney for President, Inc. Your powerful grassroots support has inspired everyone connected with our campaign, and Ann and I truly appreciate your generosity."

I was so proud of my personalized letter from mitt that i put it up on my closet door. A few days later, i came in and there was a post-it stuck on it, saying ? are you hidding something?... i look and see that the letter is to: Ms. Taylor A Jensen.

my heart shattered. he buttered me up with all of his appreciation, only to crush me.

we'll start with preference. i went with anne pearson, and i went as a (gay) movie director, and she was a ballerina. it was a blast! here are the pictures. and dont start any rumors.the next event is our halloween partay. we were supposed to have 50 bucks from the hall for decorationg and such. we submitted our list of stuff we were going to buy, then our hall mom went and bought it. using 7 dollars. we got a bag of spiderwebs and 2 50 light strands. great.

so then it was up to us and our genius. First, we transformed a room into a movie theater, complete with stadium seating couches and a projector coming off the top of the closet where we were able to watch the ring. next, we transformed a room into the food room, complete with couch, 3 fridges stacked in a pyramid, inigo montoya on top, and 18 pizzas and tons of drinks. Next, we had the halloween twister game in a room. Finally, we had my room. Joe and i gutted it- we took our our beds and emptied the room except for our closets and shelves. We then hooked up strobe lights and a fog machine and brought in some more speakers, and we turn our room into a dance room. it was awesome.

We also had a mini haunted house at the end of our floor that you had to walk through. it was a great party and we had a ton of fun hosting it. may hall 2200 is simply the best.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Wednesday, October 24th, the year of our Lord two thousand seven marked the passing of my 18th year. here is how it went:

12:01 AM. I have a loud banging on my window. i think its the guys above me, so i go and open up my window only to find 5 girls from my freshman academy standing out there to be the first ones to sing happy birthday. The guys above me got in on it and climbed down into my room too. haha it was a party.

12:20AM: Cousin Megan, Jackie, and Abby come over to be the first to give my Tarzan. Great day.

12:30AM i go to matt hubbard's room, who is on the first floor, who also has the 5 girls outside his window talking

1:15AM i go to bed

8:30AM i wake up and pretend like its christmas and open up my birthday package from mama. Great day-- i got monsters inc, aladin, mulan, and tarzan again, as well as ski money, a new shirt, and a party bag. I put in tarzan in, sat down with my a bowl of froot loops and enjoyed. Until i found a rock in my cereal. gross.

9:40 i go to class.

11:00 AM after class, some of my friends sing happy birthday, then tackle me and put me over mikey's knee who is sitting on a bench, and he proceeds to give me 19 spankings as everyone is walking to and from class. it was pretty funny. and i got a birthday kiss...from a dude on my floor. haha.

7:00 PM volleyball game. Victory. would you expect anything less? nope.8:00 PM the girls in my freshman academy threw me a party with pizza and 2 cakes-one from cousin megan and one from anne pearson. it was a lot of fun.

then i watched tarzan. great day. ill put pictures on when i get them.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

After much deliberation, we finally named my boy. His name for now and in the eternities is Inigo Montoya. Our other options were: Mugatu, Wasabi, Ichiro, Daisuke, Winston, Winthrop, Hugo, Mojo Jojo, Taylor Jr., The Neenja, and some other options. I think Inigo works.

So some guys on my floor are playing intramural volleyball and we had the tournament these past two weeks. We kept winning and winning until we reached the finals, and then we won, so we won our division AND got the coveted intramural champion t-shirts! great day. Here are some pictures:

We even had our very own spartan, complete with red toga, spear, sword, and helmet! it was pretty sweet.

We were basically unstoppable. and those are the champion t-shirts.

here is another random picture i made. Everyone here thinks look like christian bale who plays batman and people call me batman and stuff, so this is my new facebook profile picture:

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

our floor hosts pizza parties every other wednesday just because we are the best. unfortunately, we had to cancel this weeks, so i tried to ease the let down with this message to all those planning on attending. Take a look at my skills:

Official Declaration 1.

Hem hem hem.

Hear Ye hear ye: by official decree of the may hall 2200 boys and the Spartans volleyball team, you are hearby officially, cordially, lovingly, and any other adverb-lys you like, invited and required to attend the Spartans Volleyball game this coming wednesday, the 17th of Ocotober, in the year of our Lord two thousand and seven. The event will be held at 8 post meridian, mountain standard time in the building commonly known as the richards building.

we woefully realize this conflicts with an aforementioned party on the 2200 floor. We also would like to cordially invite the freshman academy members to attend the 530 viewing of the 'More Perfect Union' in the building commonly known as the Joseph Smith Building.

The pizza party, commonly known as the pizza party, will be postponed until later. More details will come in Official Declaration 2. Prepare yo'selves.

sealed with a kiss,Taylor Alan Jensen (whose birthday happens to be next wednesday)2200 floor herald.

Friday, October 12, 2007

There are many many reasons why i love my mama- laundry, GOOD MEALS, love, and many other things. My mama takes good care of me. Here is an example

So i had gotten back from St. George and stayed up till 2:45 working on economics and i went to bed. I then woke up at 4 in the morning with an uncomfortable feeling. I looked down at myself and said 'Self: you are sleeping in your streetclothes and shoes. drag your sorry self out of bed, take off your shoes, and put your PJs on'

Needless to say, i was borderline grumpy the next day due to my lack of sleep and stress about upcoming tests. I have been doing really well on not being grumpy when i dont have enough sleep, by the way. This particular day, i needed a little pick-me-up. I looked in my mailbox and low and behold, i got a halloween package!

Inside i found lots of candy, eyeball shaped christmas lights, and a kit to make a NINJA PUMPKIN!! i was one happy boy. I am getting a pumpkin today, so ill throw some pictures of him up later.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

on tuesday and wednesday, my biology lab was privleged to make the 4 hour journey down to St. George to participate in doing medical checks on old folk at the World Senior Games. It was a blast- i rode down in a van with our professor, Dr. Booth, and one of our T.A.s, sarah, and 8 other kids from my lab. We took 3 vans and 30 or so people. We left around 12 on tuesday, and got down there around 4. We stayed in an episcopalian church down there, so when we got there we unpacked our stuff into the rooms we were staying in and chilled for an hour and then ate.

Next, we went to the St. George temple and visitor's center. We watched the new Joseph Smith video. It was incredible. Go see it if you havent already- it is well worth your time. We then took some pictures by the temple and then we went to the Senior Games opening ceremony.

this is my roommate, joe

It was fun watching all of the seniors walk around, and they had some local performance groups dance and sing and stuff. One of the groups had some of the dancers run up into the stands, so one of the guys in my van jumped up and started groving with them in the middle of the isle! haha it was hilarious. Some of the old people recognized him the next day and told him great job dancing. it was great.

After the ceremony, we went back to the church and hung out for a while. Dr. Booth then gave us a devotional that was very touching. He then followed it up with an alien encounter he had. And i completely believe him. dont think i am crazy or anything, but i think its true. after that, at about 1230 we settled down into our rooms and the guys in my room all stayed up talking about the gospel and such till like 2. (thats what i love about BYU- you can just stay up all night talking religion).

The next morning, we got up at 630 and headed over to the senior games. We manned stations that the seniors would come to and get medical checks. the stations included blood sugar, eye sight, height and weight, osteoperosis checks, and other stuff. I worked at the glucose station and LOVED it. Me and chris were competing for everyone's business. We would say stuff like 'oh i was saving this seat for you!' or 'Dont go to him- it will hurt when he pokes you' and stuff like that. It was hilarious. and my throat is a little soar.

At about 3, we loaded back up and headed north. It was a great trip-- all of the people in our lab are so close now and we all have these inside jokes and stuff and all the other labs in our class are way jealous. As they should be.

Sunday, October 7, 2007

So sometimes i get bored and do random things to make my life more convenient.

Exhibit 1. the vending machine.

i had a big bag of mints and some clear space on my bookshelf, so naturally i made a convenient dispenser.

Unfortunately, about half of them fell off during the night, so i had to put less on and have each take up more tape-space.

exhibit 2: the toothpaste dispenser.

simply unscrew and give a GENTLE tap to the container and you are good. now i can multi-task brushing and doing other things with my newly freed hand.

Exhibit 3. The blanket window.

so our room faces the sun and it is really bright. this really impedes my efforts to sleep in, so i jammed pens between the blinds and ceiling to hang our blanket. we had previously tried taping it up, but that only held for like 20 minutes. this has been up since thursday.

Exhibit 4. the new coat hanger.

walking home one night, i found this big cone and decided i needed it, in part because its a random cone, and in part because some of the other guys have smaller ones and i wanted to top them all. it serves well as a coat rack.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

(notice the tear in his eye at the end. HAHA! priceless. this is a gem. this could be my funniest one yet. at least to me and my random floor.)

2. If you go to bed before 1, you miss out on some crazy shenanigans. i was woken up to find this guy 'attacking' my door at 1 last night. this one was worth getting out of bed for haha.

we found a street light out in the parking lot that had fallen off its post and broken, so it was decided that it would be added to our fantastic floor decor.

3. We all like each other. unless you are kicking a soccer ball at my door between the hours of 1 and 2 in the morning.

4. One Word: Ninjas.

5. we have an official floor fan club consisting of people (mostly girls from our ward & freshman academy, but also some guys from other floors who are jealous they arent on our floor) who just love us!

6. This should go under random, but we moved a kid's bed into the shower room and his roommates bed into the mezzanine. haha. they have since moved their beds back, put them together, bought a queen mattress from DI and put that on top and the two twins underneath to make a big bunking system. genius. they are looking for a couch now to add to the vast space they now have. well, thats if they cant find a hot tub first. haha.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

May Hall= MayHem! take a minute just to look at this picture. Savor it. Explanation will follow.

look at the trustful look mitch is giving me in the first picture. haha. he knows he is about to get a good looking cut. Here is the story of its founding: We had an intramural volleyball game on tuesday night, and we have to have 4 people there by gametime or else we forfeit. We had four people and a fifth on the way, but one of them (Mitch) couldnt sign in due to his hair being a honor code violation. (your hair cannot cover your ears or go beyond your collar). So in desperate need of our fourth man in order to check in, Mitch and i ran into the locker room and borrowed a pair of scissors. Uh-oh.

As you can see, we went straight up mullet. We did just what we needed to: excavate the ears. brilliant. Mitch rushed back to the court to check in only to find that our fourth man had gotten there and that the other team was a no show!! he was pretty upset.

Tonight we had visiting hours from 7-9. Mike (the buff guy in the picture above) decided to un-bleach his hair and go back to his brownish state. So while all the girls were here dying his hair, mitch and i got involved in the hair styling. I got a pair of scissors and tucked a comb on my ear like a pencil or something and went to work to 'magnify the mullet.' Not only is it a quality mullet, i feel like i did a really good job on the actual haircut aspect of it. Maybe i should go into hairstyling! Here is the finished product:

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Alright. So. Cousin Megan asked me to walk her home at 3 in the morning from work. she works in the cougar catering, and she had to make all the food for the game tomorrow. So i decided that if i was staying up until 3 to walk her home, i was going to make it one amazing walk.I got the guys on my floor together and told them we were becoming neenjas. yes, pronounced neen-ja. i was really surprised how many of them were willing to stay up until 3 to do this crazy thing. so during the day a few guys went to DI (utah's goodwill) to pick up some good ninja costuming. we all looked freaking sweet. haha.

At about 1 in the morning, we gathered to start making the plan. Mike and mitch have a cartoon map of the campus that we used in planning. I put up some post-its on the map and left blanks for people to kind of sign up for spots and stuff, then once everyone got their spots (there were at least 15 kids invlolved in this epic), we sat down and planned all the logistics of who was where and when and i had everyone meet back behind may hall down the stairs from the marriot center for the last epic battle. so we had to plan all of the logistics so that once a ninja was killed it was able to get to that spot without being seen again. It worked perfectly.Jackie, megan's friend and my HC date, said she'd go to pick up megan with me, so i called her at like 230 and woke her up and she came, so it was very good. i wore grey pants, black underarmor, and a REAL samauri head band that said in japanese Number One. haha. perfect. oh yeah and i am only wearing socks. haha.

so i get to the wilk with jackie and we get megan and both of them just think i am dressing up for fun. We walk by and see an unknown person on a bench reading a newspaper. just as we are about to walk by, he lowers the paper and we just glare at each other. he then stands, throws 3 paper ninja stars at me (which i block), then jumps over the bench and i follow him, doing a summersault over the bench. we then insue on a previously choreographed fight. I beat him, and turn to the girls as if nothing happened and say lets move on.

Next, i fight two unnamed ninjas and beat them and cause them to roll down the hill to the library. it was a sweet fight. the girls wanted to go take the masks off and see who it was, but i told them it was not the way of the ninja. lets move on. haha. this movie isnt a good one. the other ones were tho!

NOTE: VIDEOS WILL BE UP LATER. I HAVE TO EDIT THEM TO MAKE IT EASIER TO SEE MY SICK NASTY NINJA MOVES. i have been practicing for the past 3 days to be honest. haha.

next, another unnamed ninja jumps out of a tree near the tanner building and we have a big fight there. some ninja is wearing a wetsuit inside out with a nice mask on. its great. i beat him, and the girls get their phones out to take pictures. i told them the roads were dangerous and we must keep moving. this one is a better video.

We then cross the streets to the tanner building where two more unnamed ninjas are waiting. we didnt plan a fight; they were just blocking the way so we could go another route back so we could have more fights. haha. but we improvised a lot of stuff because the girls just stood there and wanted to take pictures when in reality their lives were in grave danger. have a look. oh and the run at the end is our trademark neenja run. classic.

Next, we run accross the parking lot and go up the spiral bridge, where i fight 3 more ninjas. of course, i put them down.

later on up the bridge, we see two mysterious men wearing normal street clothes and backpacks. i say 'whats up boys' as i pass, and they immediately start shedding their clothes and they were wearing neenja clothes!! what a shock. i then fight them. one of their cell phones falls out and as i am walking away from the carnage, megan picks it up and starts trying to figure out who it is. (these girls are in our ward so they could happen to know some of the unnamed victims, but could not for the life of them figure out who these neenjas were. good work on keeping identity concealed!) so his phone falls out and megan picks it up and looks at it. i walk back and say it is not the way of the ninja, take the phone, pull on chad's elastic pants and throw it in there. haha. they werent going back for that phone. and we moved on.

Now this whole time, i had my personal stunt photographer shooting these videos. he left us as we walked by the marriott center, aparently to change batteries. but the girls caught on and thought it must be some huge last fight or something. and oh they were right. we walk down the stairs and all of a sudden mortal kombat starts blaring out of a window on my floor. note that it is now about 345AM. i then jump down over bushes instead of taking stairs, and every ninja had been hidden and they just swarmed and we had a huge fight, highlighted by me crouching into a ball and then yelling and kinda jumping upward and putting my fists in the air and all the neenjas flying back. job well done. except for one, who threw is sword at me, so i grabbed it and stabbed him. punk.

overall, id say this is my favorite night* at college. the asterisk is there because this all actually started at 1 in the morning and it is about 5 now, so i need to go to bed. needless to say, the girls loved it, the guys LOVED it, and we are doing it again. soon. I think that i could honestly become a criminal mastermind after how perfectly this plan worked out. i give myself one big pat on the back, and my neenjas 3 pats each. haha.

Monday, September 17, 2007

but we finally got a quote wall up. when you live with the same guys for a while (what, 2.5 weeks?), you are bound to say something stupid or hilarious at some point. So here is the written manifestation of our stupid quotes. I'll highlight some of my favorites.

The personal favorites:

"I slept in a laundromat last night" Brently

Whats those? eric

It was a Slice of Destiny- Brently

I swear she was a senior- Joe

all the aforementioned joe speech problems

there is nothing better than waking up and being in taylor's warm arms- Mike

I only have one quote on the wall and that is that joe is my anti-drug. haha. i am involved in some others, but i am never the reason it is on the wall.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

The correct answer is Kramer from Seinfeld. haha. its actually my bud Eric. he is hilarious.

Last night we played an intense game of Capture the flag, so thats why we are decked out in black with facepaint. i wish you could see the full body- black shorts, knee socks, black shoes. it was the real deal. i will say that eric and i brought home a 1-0 victory for the ninjas. (pronounced neen-jahs). solid.

Friday, September 14, 2007

So last night at about 11 we decided to watch a movie. due to copyright laws or some shinanigans, we werent allowed to watch it in the lobby of our hall, so we took a laptop out into the lawn and sat on some blankets and watched our DVD with some speakers hooked up to it and stuff. All was going well until sprinklers started popping on. This caused some chaos as everyone scrambled to gather up their shoes, laptop, speakers, backpacks, purses, etc. I ended up running through the sprinklers a bit to pick up all the extra stuff that was left and we went to a new, dry place to finish our flick.

about 20 minutes after we got there, i realized i didnt have my cell phone. we called it and it wasnt anywhere around us, so i took a phone and went into the sprinklers to find my phone sitting there in the middle of the grass, soaked. The front display didnt work and the main screen was solid white, so we took out the battery and started airing it out. This morning, i got a blowdrier from a guy on my floor and started the recovery process. i could call people and get texts, but the calls were a little fuzzy and the front lcd didnt work.

i have been blowdrying it all day and i just put the battery back in and EVERYTHING WORKS!!! i was pretty stoaked, so this post goes out to my cell phone, who i will never leave out in the sprinklers again.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

So my roommate is from minnesota and naturally has a little bit of a canadian-influenced dialect. He says his A's weird, such as beg for bag and fleg for flag and stuff like that. we like to poke fun at it if it ever sounds really bad or is a funny word.

Little did i know that by rooming with him, i would start picking it up!! yesterday i was walking with one of my friends and i said beg instead of bag. I was so disappointed in myself. it wasnt a straight up beg thought. it was like baeg. haha.

So this post is a tribute to all of the goofy words that joe says in his native accent

begtegflegminnesotameggotsfeggeg (gag)dreygongeyya sure you betcha (haha he never says this but he said tons of people there do)boat

there will be more to come for sure. his accent isnt bad at all. its just sometimes and it is hilarious on some of the words. he is trying to change his vowel sounds, but we like it. haha.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Last night, we hiked up the Y. In Bio, we had an extra credit opportunity that entailed watching a sunset and writing our thoughts and inspirations of it. With school in mind first, we decided to turn it into a group date. The day we were going to do it bounced around a bit, so unfortunately we only had one girl go. but thats alright because it was a really fun bonding experience for the guys.

I think that this may be my new favorite picture of myself. haha

it was kinda smoggy, but still pretty spectacular.

On the way up, Eric (pictured below) made a joke about mike carrying his huge fur jacket up the mountain. Mike responded by smacking the waterbottle out of eric's hand and down the mountain. Eric couldnt bear to leave his treasured nalgene on the mountain, so he climbed down this STEEP bush area to get it. he was delighted to find his baby.

he looks a lot like cramer from sienfeld. we make him bust through our door sometimes for fun.