Hi all, Fletcher here. Guess what? I’m a big boy! I can stand up all by myself, I can say ‘Mama’, and I can even take a few steps when I hold onto stuff! And boy, do I like to hold onto stuff. I can get into anything! Mama says most people say Daddy for their first word, but that I’m just a genius!

This is what I asked a co-worker when she was describing an outfit she’d ordered. It wasn’t. Foot, meet mouth. It’s been one of those weeks. I was called in the office at work and admonished that the “bickering in the back needed to stop” for being better read than my co-workers. They didn’t appreciate my superior vocabulary. I felt like I was in seventh grade all over again, and some dumb kid was afraid I was making fun of him. Oh, and they told my boss I was being disrespectful to the surgeons. Now, I’ve sassed a couple or six in my time, but tattling on me for changing his music (which was over, I just picked something new)? Seriously? Do we not have bigger things to worry about? So, anyway, I got called in the office and received a verbal reprimand. I’m still not sure why, exactly, other than I’m the new girl and these problems didn’t exist before so it must be me, right? So, like the big girl that I am, I confronted the co-workers and the doctor. I informed the guys that I didn’t “do” big pink elephants in the middle of the room, so if I ever bothered them, or hurt their feelings, it was completely unintended. I was told that “even though they knew I didn’t mean it that way, that’s the way it sounded”. I still don’t get it. If you knew I didn’t mean it that way, why are you upset in the first place? Whatever, sorry, let it go, right? Well. When I approached the doc, I started to apologize, and he interrupted me and said that he never said anything, he didn’t even give a shit, and that the guys were messing with me. Are you fucking kidding me? I’ve been called in the office and reprimanded and the surgeon had no issues with me at all? *coughBULLSHITcough* Someone is resistant to change and apparently, I’m making them seasick in what was formerly their very small pond. This pisses me off. Grow the fuck up, and quit with the male ego shit. I don’t have time for that. So, I went and told everyone (including my boss) what that doc said, and that what that told me was either a)he was angry and just didn’t want to admit it to my face, or b)someone’s trying to get me in trouble cause I’m throwing a monkey wrench into their smoothly running but incorrectly executed facade of competency. Hmphhh. I’m not having it. They will be called out and confronted. I don’t “do” big pink elephants, remember?