The How-To Lounge: Save the Date Etiquette

Now that you're engaged, it's time to spread the word! Since wedding venues book up so quickly during wedding season, it's time to get planning. First things first — pick your date and secure your location. Once that's checked off your list, you'll need to alert your friends and family of your special day by sending a save the date. There's no right or wrong way to send a save the date, but there are some key points to remember.

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Before you send the save the date, hammer out your guest list. There's no turning back after someone has been invited, so be certain that you won't be making any adjustments to your list.

Regardless of the size of your wedding, save the dates should be sent out 6-12 months prior to your wedding day. If you're having a destination wedding, the sooner you send them out the better.

Save the dates are meant to be much less formal than the wedding invitations, but they should be informative. Include your names, the date, time, and location. Some feel the save the date should match the wedding invitation, but that is completely discretionary so if you want to have fun with it, go for it!

If you're having a destination wedding, the save the dates should be much more revealing. Include hotel and airline information including phone numbers and any special rates or packages if applicable, rental car companies, a schedule of events (so guests know how long to book their travel), and the location of your wedding site.

If your guests are invited with a date, be sure to address the envelope properly so they can save the date, too.

We sent our Save-the-Dates out 13 months in advance, but we are getting married on a holiday weekend so we knew most of our family makes travel plans REALLY early and we wanted to let them know to keep that weekend free if they wanted to attend our wedding.
I don't necessarily think it's necessary to put the name of the dates on the Save the Date envelope, though, especially if you are sending them out early. Thinking back to our group of friends, I can name at least 6 people off the top of my head who are no longer dating the same person that they were dating back when we sent them out, and etiquette dictates that regardless of what happens, the name of each person on save the date should get an invitation. So, eve if the couple breaks up, you should technically invite BOTH to the wedding. We only sent out our save the dates to the people invited -- if we were friendly enough with couples that even if they broke up, we would invite each, then their names went together on the envelope. But if we wouldn't invite someone's current significant other if they were no longer together, it went just in the name of the guest we would invite.

Those are really pretty Syako!
Hopefully I can set a date next week, and then I will send them out...I think I'm going to do what your friend did, shopaholic, and send information about things to do in the area with them.

Good tips. My friends actually saved the date a year ahead of time. They sent everyone letters and a personalized magnet with their pix, the date and time and location of the wedding. I still have the magnet on my fridge and it's this coming June! :) I think they organized everything well. They also sent everyone a list of things they could do in Washington DC if any of the guests decided to come early and sight-see.