National Domestigraphic

My friend Nanette and I were asked to attend some sort of astronomy conference in a place called Oriskany. We were told it was formal attire, so I wore my tux.

However, most people were dressed casual with a few grey suits thrown in, and there were an unusual number of stuffed bears. Apparently WE were the theme of the event. Were we the guests of honor or being played as token bears for the human folk to demonstrate they are being species inclusive? Still not sure.

Then things got pretty weird. Dressed to the nines, we were put in some sort of daycare camp for bears for part of the event. The company was nice but something wasn’t right about the venue. Let’s recap:

Astronomy Conference. Camping. Daytime. In a garage.

It wasn’t unpleasant, and it was good to get out, but I’m not sure they’ve done this before. They seem unclear of the concepts.

Tagged along for a trip to the zoo the other day. Felt like I was on top of the world (see picture).

We had back stage passes to the rhinoceros habitat, something the Buffalo Zoological Gardens does on weekends in the Winter. One of their biggest fans invited Ken’s wife and in turn Ken got way too excited at the prospect of coming along. I came mostly to keep the fanboy in check, and to stretch my legs outside the household preserve. It’s been too long.

The highlight of the day seemed to be confirming Ken’s assumption that rhinos go “moo”. I used to this it was just his substitute for not knowing the actual sound one makes during his imitation of such, but to everyone’s surprise, he was right.

I took a quick visit to my Farmville Farms and see they are trying to appeal to me personal demographic with an Australian farm with a koala spokesman. Spokeskoala. Whatever.

There seem to be a lot of changes, and between managing and quests I may need a pool of full-time interns to take care of it all. And I appreciate the effort Zynga, but fantasy farming in space may be taking the concept a bit too far. You had an April Fool’s joke about farming on the moon — it’s not April guys, and this is pretty loony.

There are apparently only EIGHT (8) Northern White Rhinos left, four of which are protected by these brave young men at the Ol Pejeta Conservancy in Kenya.

I know what you’re thinking. He doesn’t look white. Maybe he’s tan. Maybe he’s adopted, I don’t know. But the point is they’re almost down to where they don’t have to fight over tickets for Noah’s Ark.

My suggestion: LEGALIZE IVORY. If you make an open market for it, people will herd endangered species and they will be worth more alive than dead. And there will be a lot more hugging and a lot less shooting. Just sayin’

Does this mean ALL koalas are likely slahser sociopaths? If that were true, then you wouldn’t have images like this, taken from a news article about a survivor of an Australian wildfire. Her name is Sam and please notice she is NOT shredding Dave, the firefighter. The video is available here.