Supreme Court rules 'no more prayers in church'

The supreme court has today announced that praying in churches should be banned as it 'infringes the human rights' of those visiting the establishments, but have no religious beliefs.

The ruling came after Jaydon Knight and his partner of 18 months Liza Pullen took St. Joseph's Church to court following on from the baptism of their 9 month old boy. Mr Knight told us, 'we decided we needed a family piss-up so decided to have the boy Christened. All was good until we had to start praying to this Jesus fella. Not only that, but some of them were filth. I had to explain to my eight year old cousin what a virgin was.'

Responding to the court order, the Archbishop of Canterbury released a statement saying, 'I did speak to Mr Knight and Miss Pullen to explain that a church was a home for religious worship but the self proclaimed atheist was more interested in telling me about the new tattoo of a crucifix he has had on his knuckles.'