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Antsy

I’m totally anxious and I think it’s because I haven’t worked since last Wednesday. Tomorrow I work. Tomorrow. Not now. Chill out, me. When I don’t have work to do, I spend time agonizing over whether the baby’s head is still down and obsessing over which items I will still need for the birth and beyond.

We are 1 month and 1 day from my due date. This is crazy pants. I still don’t believe there is a person in there. Not usually, anyway.

I still have high, not-to-be-dashed-by-you-in-comments hopes that he will come a little early. More than insurance and everything else, I want his daddy to know him before it’s off to terminal studio and the busiest year of architecture school yet. Let’s encourage this. Good vibes. And good ideas, please. I’m eating pineapple like a mothereffing Polynesian. My raspberry leaf tea is on its way. I’m walking and squatting and yoga-ing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know he won’t come unless he’s ready. I’m inviting him anyway. Did you find anything helpful in that regard?

You can ask your midwife to strip your membranes once you reach 37 weeks (you’ve probably already talked with her about this, but just in case . . .). For some women I’ve known, this alone was enough to start contractions. For others, not so much but it usually can’t hurt.

Evening primrose oil is thought to make the cervix stretchy and soft. I took it orally from 37 weeks and Rebecca commented that I was more effaced than most first time moms. Some people puncture the capsule and use the oil topically on the cervix, although that application isn’t recommended by everything I read.

In the two days before Eli was born, I had both a chiropractic adjustment and a prenatal massage wherein I told them to massage away at all of those “forbidden” accupressure points. Maybe they did nothing although as you know chiropractic does help with optimal baby positioning and correct pelvic alignment, both of which help facilitate getting baby Boris on the outside. Accupressure is somewhat dubious, but what the hell? When you’re trying to get the child on the outside, you’ll try anything.

Spicy food and prostaglandins from *ahem* semen supposedly help. If you really get desperate, you could go the castor oil route although that sounds bloody unpleasant from what I’ve heard.

Nothing that I tried (or my MD stripping the membranes) worked, but I do hope something will work for you. I wasn’t desperate enough to try castor oil, because a friend did and she said the extreme poo afterwards was just awful.

I’d say go the chiropractic and massage routes, and definitely the primrose oil–I’ve heard the most good things about those methods. And not that I’m in a position to “advise” on anything, but I would highly advise against castor oil. True, it has been known to work wonders, but it has also been known to cause not only diarrhea for the mother, but for the baby, while still in utero. Don’t want to go there.

Also, I *have* to say this, if you do go past your due date (which I will pray you don’t!), please don’t refuse the AFI and FNST. A lot of moms who want to go all natural pass on those tests because they don’t want to be pressured into an induction. I totally get that. However, you and Logan are smart and informed enough to be able to make your own choice based on the outcome of those tests, and not be pressured into anything. I hate to think what would have happened if I had not had those tests. My AFI was so low it is likely Vivian would have rolled over on the cord if I had insisted on waiting it out.

Have you tried talking about how nice it is out here? I mean what gets you out of a nice warm bed in the morning? I say make some campaign promises. There will be nice warm baths, you do not have to give up lolling around in liquid. You can still subsist on liquids of dubious appeal. You can pee wherever and whenever you want. People will stop poking random parts of you for no reason and will start kissing you instead. There are fluffy suits out here. You can have chocolate cake milk via your mother. We promise not to name you Josef Stalin. You can have a back scratch when you’re up for it. There will be plenty of dandling and cooing. Those types of things.

Get down on your hands and knees and start scrubbing the floor, if you have a lawn, mow it, oh, and go running, all while eating pineapple. I’m pretty sure that’s what got my little guy here 10 days early.

That long list of all the baby stuff you need to get done- like washing clothes? Don’t do it yet. Then the baby will come early. Fond memories of listing off things for husband to go grab and wash and pack while I sat in the bathroom with my water breaking.
I believe in him, he’s coming!