Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Slapping around the legislature

Munchkin No. 1: But our friend Kris Kobach says you had no right to tell us how much more money to spend! He says you can only tell us that our plan is no good and go make us do it again!

Glinda: What are you whining about now? Who's Kris Kobach?

Barrister Munchkin: I am! And this is a constitutional crisis! Listen to me, everyone! Munchkinland is in a constitutional crisis!

Glinda: Hey, pretty boy, you have no power here. Be gone, before somebody drops a house on you, too.

Barrister Munchkin: But I must be heard! I tell you, fellow Munchkins, she had no right to tell you to spend an additional $143 million beyond the $142 million increase you already approved. This is not the proper role of a witch! In fact, she is that worst sort of creature -- an activist witch!

Glinda: Oh, please. I have every right to do what I did. Their own study showed that they should be spending $853 million a year more than they already spend to address the inequities and problems in our schools. But I'm not stupid. I know the school system could hardly absorb nearly a billion dollars in increases in a single year without wasting a good portion of it. So I chose a reasonable fraction -- a third -- and added it to next year's budget.

Barrister Munchkin: But you can't do that! Only the Munchkins in the Legislature can appropriate the people's money! You can only tell them that their plan is unconstitutional and make them do it over again!

Glinda: What? So they can add a single freaking dollar to the budget, say they did their job, and send it back to me again? No, I'm tired of the games. And all of this jerking off is only hurting schoolchildren who shouldn't have to wait for the legislative Munchkins to get their act together. This has been going on for six years, and I don't remember you being around for all the headaches we've been through already. Who are you, anyway? Aren't you that little conservative wing nut who took a drubbing in the last election?