This page is a tribute to Funny English. What is funny English, you say? It's basically English that has been translated by non-native speakers that may sound fine to them but to people whose first language is English, it sounds, well, rather funny. Since I have lived in China for ten years, most of these excerpts are translations of Chinese into English. To all my Chinese friends learning English, this page is done in a spirit of fun, and nothing on this page is nearly as bad as the way I speak Chinese!! Please enjoy this page and I do welcome submissions (as long as they're clean).

Please note that all text is spelled exactly like the originals - no corrections have been made.

This one comes from a friend in Afghanistan. I guess they must be really into health food there.

Also from Afghanistan, where eating restrictions abound.

Okay, so part of this sign is covered up, but it sure makes for interesting choices.

And finally, if the healing system doesn't work, the reapers are standing by.

It's amazing how useful a simple flashlight can be...

PRODUCT CHARACTERISTICS:

1. The product is a new science and technology product and made with high and new science and technology. It can illuminate only placing it in rhythm.

2. No need any power, no environmental pollution. Low noise and health, comparing with common torch. It can be several times on lift.

3. Constantly use this health torch, it can benefit to your palm, arm and shoulder stretching and blood circulation, so as to let your hands relax and brain clever, hand and brain coordinate and promote your brain memory and health composition.

From the fashion department... this girl did not seem to be very hysterical about glamour.

This was from a menu in Jingxi, where restaurants might give you more than you expected.

Are they trying to encourage affection in parks these days in China?

Not much to say about this cookie brand. Even I know the word is "derriere"!

A friend who visited Istanbul sent me this one. What does Istanbul smell like? I guess you need to go under the Galata Bridge to find out.

And what are we supposed to require?

A supermarket in Jingxi redesigned their signs last year, apparently to make it easier for English speaking travelers. The next 4 photos are from this creative food store.

It's good to have somewhere where you can be alone with your thoughts.

Make sure you bring those nasty supplies with you when you shop... at least the ones deserving death!

There's no point insulting customers for wanting to relax a bit.

Does this have to do with the bathroom or playing poker? I don't know.

This sign suffers from a definite lack of specificity.

This one almost sounds poetic.

Garbage should be allowed to return to its home, don't you think?

To end on a rather perky note, an upbeat t-shirt design from Taiwan. Any ideas what FP stands for?