give in to give up

oh life, you've got me going with endless thoughts around my head making me feel insane…
i am somewhat tired of trying to be obliging in order to be tolerant and have a healthy relationship with others, but myself.
that's the thing with life, you can't get there if you are not coherent. but how?
we carry around with adopted flaws from the systems we grew up in, and subconsciously we replicate them…
somedays, i just hate people… others, i just hate myself.