The piece take a diverging course from what we know, and the divergence is into interesting ground. What if she had been held by Revan before the capture of the dark lord? How long had it been, and is the claim by Vrook of Stockholm Syndrome remotely valid?

Knowing what I do about black operations, the piece is well done. In every war the ‘just’ side has consider taking a leaf from the enemy’s book. Rotterdam (albeit only a threat carried out accidentally) and the bombing of Coventry led to the terror bombing of half a dozen German cities, and the firebombing of Japanese ones, because the Allies felt it was proper to answer terror with terror.

The story flows from the dragging agony of the escape, to the preparations for the Endar Spire’s departure, and every step you can feel Bastila’s weariness. The last line is perfect, because it is not something you would expect a Jedi to learn.

The writing style is crisp and journal like, and well done. All of the problems are technical, andI will address them next

Technical; Remember all of the movies begin ‘Long ago, in a galaxy far, far away’ which precludes a technological Earth to be part of it. As often as it has been suggested that humanity has built technological empires which later collapsed, and started over from barbarism, there is no evidence that it has occurred.

Second, having someone other than a linguist find and read a journal purported to be 25 millennia old assumes the language had survived. English is a relatively new language, and even Chinese which is much older is believed to be less than 13,000 years old and has changed dramatically when you consider their writing system is only 4,000 years old. Languages are in a constant state of low level flux with words changing meanings. The word awful which we think of as terrible was considered s compliment in the 16th century; it was applied to Queen Elizabeth speaking of the awe people felt at her presence. In my own lifetime the word Pagan which meant the hicks who lived outside the Roman cities has come to mean atheist.

Third you have an interstellar war, a very long haul proposition without a method of faster than light travel. Having the Surtins go to the ‘neighboring’ planet implies that they came from say Alpha Centauri, a trip of about six years. No one has contemplated a war on that scale for the simple reason that there is no way to have command of your troops over such distances. The Mongol invasion of Europe stopped because the Great Khan had died, and their law required the leaders of the various assault forces to come bring their men home and swear fealty, but the month to six weeks it took for a dispatch rider to start near Ulaanbaatar and ride to Vienna Austria is nothing compared to six years if the Surtins had the same custom. That invasion never resumed.

I surmise that faster than light travel is not common because everyone is astonished when the Rakata use it.

Finally, you have two resources that are functionally inexhaustible in the story, the crystal the Mandalorians have and the Thagreium fuel from Pluto. Either the is something observable that causes renewal or resources are exhaustible.