Welcome to my blog where I share my special needs parenting journey with my heart, truth, and love, one story at a time. ❤️

Inspiration finds me in the most opportune times. I talk about and study neuroscience as the research captures my fascination. I’m never at a shortage of knowledge or picturesque opportunities for growth as I fill my days with wonderful words from poets, philanthropists, personal development specialists, free thinkers, and listening and sharing with the young and amazing minds of my children. Today is one of those days where the words flow, the ideas form, and creativity is ignited. Thank you for sharing this moment with me today as I submit my meme to Silver Threading and #Bewow linkup. Please follow the link and be inspired yourself. ❤️

Here is my late edition to Silver Threading Writer’s Quotes Wednesday. I couldn’t think up anything last week so I went browsing through my pictures and the words just suddenly came to me. Enjoy and please click on and check out all the talent who link up. Thank you. ❤️

This picture captures the moment we took our youngest son golfing for the first time. I watched him here with his Dad and was overcome with so much emotion. With all the developmental challenges he’s had this achievement makes my heart sing with his greatness. ❤️

This has been my submission to Silver Threading for Writer’s Quotes Wednesday. There is so much kindness, inspiration and wisdom there please check it out. Thank you. ❤️

I’ve been thinking about what kind of quote I would come up with today. I wanted something that would inspire positivity, and create love, and leave me feel self assured. This quote from my beloved Mama came to mind that originally came from Amanda Vivian Austin’s autograph journal circa April. 1889. I can still hear her voice echoing in my mind. ❤️

This has been my submission to Silver Threading Writer’s Quotes Wednesday. Please check out all the beauty and inspiration there. Thank you. 😘

I love connecting in the online world and it’s wonderful when you meet another blogger in the land of WordPress who is awesome to read and interact with. I recently have made a connection with a like minded soul and he nominates me for a challenge! Thank you so much EMMANUEL’S MUEMA’S BLOG
What a sweet and kind gesture, and it happens to be about my love of quotes so here is mine today. This is for you E-man. 😃

This is from one of my favourite poets, philanthropists, and inspirational woman.

“My mission in life is not to merely survive, but to thrive; and do so with some passion, some compassion, some humour, and some style.”

I have so much to do and I’m already overwhelmed thinking about it. I have never ending overflowing laundry baskets and I’m totally my laundry room’s bitch for the past two weeks. I’ve got a wicker basket full of stuff I need to do, and the paperwork monster is threatening to grab me in a choke hold till I cry uncle! I know I can take things one day at a time but it’s my brain that never shuts that doesn’t get that message.

Last week I had a meeting with my respite worker she asked me if I was a list person. I replied yes I love making lists, a lot of my blog topics start out that way. She asked me to write things out instead of using my notes app. So I did and it’s amazing how something so simple, can be so affective. Today I made another list and each day I cross off my accomplishments. It feels good to see that I’m taking care of things, but my overwhelm is with all the things I still need to do. It’s easy for me to dispense out advice to friends and say look after your priorities and the housework will be there tomorrow. Like death and taxes laundry will always be something you can count on happening.

I feel like I’m at the start of the race and I’m waiting for someone to be standing there with a pistol saying ready, set, go and I’m off like I’m lit on fire when I hear that shot go off! On one side of me is my calendar jammed with appointments, and on the other is my phone loaded up with texts, emails, and blog topics I need to return and write. At times we’re neck in neck and I literally feel the sweat pouring down my brow. Then I’m wiping it, dying of thirst, and I fall behind and struggle to keep up.

There are many phone calls to be made, test results to track down, letters to be written, paperwork to be signed, and faxed. I’ve literally been held paralyzed with anxiety that I have to complete all the things and do it record time. The finish line appears to be so far away and my eyes are getting blurry as exhaustion starts to overtake me. Must be the fact I’m dehydrated and in need of something to quench my thirst. And that pesky cataract starts to bother me when I’m tired. So I start veering off the track and daydreaming while I can scarcely see my opponents in the distance. My vision doubles and I start to yearn for my couch.

There I can have my fuzzy blanket and security while watching Lawrence of Arabia and enjoy eating a bowl of ice cream. This parenting gig can be hard at times. Add in a list of objectives, goals, and lists and you’ve got another job. Sometimes I just want to say &@@@ it and leave for someone else to do. But if I do that then my children won’t get the services they desperately need. I can’t miss out on that, no matter how mentally, emotionally, and physically, exhausted I am. It’s not fair to them or to me if I fail, there’s a lot of resources and a lot of families in need as well. The autism journey can be a bumpy one at the best and worst of times. I’m learning new terminology everyday and as my brother says ATL’s (another three lettered acronym).

He told me that last week and I laughed so hard, for about fifteen minutes as my life has become all about the letters. When will it all begin, when I’m assessed for funding, get a case worker assigned to me, or get a therapy team in place. There will be more people joining our small circle, lots of transitions, more appointments, and more trips into the city. I will be requesting a lot of home visits in the beginning. Getting my youngest son prepared for these upcoming changes and strangers in our reclusive world. This is never easy and I can use all the PECS (Picture Example Cards) available, but if he has anxiety about it all it’s just not going to happen.

I honestly don’t know what to expect from branching out into this new world of programs, people, and personalities. I’m thinking as positively as I can and preparing and educating myself as well. So off I go into the sunset leaving worn out ideas, speculations, and false truths behind. From now on its facts, concrete results, and verified diagnosis’s that will matter. I owe it to my children to get them all the help I can. And I owe it to myself to know and believe this age old wisdom from Yoda. That little green guy’s wisdom has touched my life with its simple but gifted advice more times than I can count. Special thanks to http://lindaghill.com for the writing prompt. I couldn’t think of anything to use it for till now. It’s funny how I just looked at this picture and words started flowing. Green man wisdom for the win!

There’s comes a time in life where we have to let go of the anger and invite acceptance into our lives. Well I should say I have to let go of MY anger and invite acceptance into MY life. I lived with this dark, protective, force in my life for a very long time. I have allowed it to take up residence in my soul, destroy relationships, and occupy my mind. It has been my go to feeling as I’m instantly reactive to situations in my daily life. I have to consciously choose happiness, I have to choose to smile when I’d rather cry, and laugh when I’d rather yell. I have to take time to calm my mind, find the still, the quiet to meditate. And when I do these things anger dissipates into thin air, and is replaced with peace. My inner child takes a beating as she wants to love everyone and yet protect herself from everything. It’s a fine balance as I’ve been struggling and walking the thin line between love and kindness, and hurt and anger. The negative has taking up residence in my heart as I feel life beating me down. Growing up feeling victimized, bullied, and unheard has led me to some very dark times in my existence. In the past I’ve flirted with danger and became reckless. I’ve thought if I survived emotional war fare I could survive anything. I’ve jumped off bridges, drove with a drunk driver, and jumped out of windows. Trying to escape for myself, these were stupid, selfish and dangerous acts and God let me survive them. At the time I felt invincible as I lived to tell my tale. Yet my soul was so tortured with this scary behaviour. Which caused me to grow a very thick exterior, as an empath I had to for survival. I can read most people like a book, and I can feel and know what’s not being said in a conversation. And if I can’t “feel” out a situation I feel nervous and a walk away. I’ve left relationships, situations, and people behind in the dust because of these barriers. I’ve carved out a secure existence where I’m vigilantly aware of everything and everyone, I come in contact with. I have to be, because protecting myself is my upmost concern at all times. And now to see these characteristics intrinsically alive in my sons is both reassuring and concerning. I want them to have wisdom to protect themselves, yet love in their hearts. I want them to faith in mankind and yet an awareness of danger. I want my little cubs to feel safe in their world but I can’t control their lives. I have searched for answers to my karma, spent years living and learning, separating fact from fiction, and spiritual dogma from the truth! I feel like I’ve lived a thousand lifetimes searching for the perfect spiritual teacher to enlighten me. I’ve wasted a lot of time, tears, and money on my quest. I have to learn not to fear the word acceptance or the act of forgiveness. And know I, more than anyone else needs to experience this. I have to feel in my heart that I’m doing the right thing for myself, by embracing and allowing that healing to take place. I have sat with my tears, and grown and learn from these pearls of wisdom. I have cried out to God to stop the pain, torment, and anguish and save me from myself. This dark night of my soul has taught me to live for the now, and let the future take care of itself. To always think the best, but prepare for the worst. I walk with this wisdom in my heart and mind, and let it absorb into my soul with its life given light. And just maybe everything that I’ve been searching for love, forgiveness, and acceptance was inside of me all along.💓

Sometimes we get so caught up in checking things off lists, making everyone happy, filling our time with this and that…and we forget it’s ok to relax. To do nothing. To sit in the shade and simply b.r.e.a.t.h.e. ♥