Friday, January 04, 2008

The Many Interpretations Of The Word Sigh

Yesterday's post has caused some confusion. That is appropriate as I am a little muddled in the head emotionally right now. Instead of answering the questions in the comments, I will answer in this post.

The "sigh" expresses how I felt yesterday - a very important day for me. Yesterday was my last day of work. When I started putting my Last-Day-Of-Work post together I was just going to post the simple word "freedom" but as I got closer to the big day my feelings drifted and the post changed to the simple "sigh". To explain it all I have to give some background.

The job I left yesterday was the first and only job I've every had as an adult. I have worked there for a little over 20 years. I have seen the same faces, been in the same buildings, and did essentially the same work for almost 45% of my life. As the last day approached a sense of melancholy developed. As I entered the building on Thursday I thought "This is the last time I will be entering this building." When I left I thought "This is the last time I will be leaving this building." My thoughts were like that all day. A melancholy "sigh".

The last stop on the check out process is to go to security, sign some papers about information disclosure, and to surrender you identification badges. Once the badges are handed over, it is over - no going back. As I removed my badges from the lanyard I wore around my neck, all that was going through my head were the risks that we are taking: Will the house sell? Will we find a house in Omaha that we like? Will the Wife get a job she likes? Will we be able to live on one income? Do I need to start looking for another job soon? A worried "sigh".

I also feel a sense of joy and freedom. I am no longer fettered by the 9 to 5 (actually the 6:10 to 3:30) job. This happy feeling, for now, is tempered by the melancholy and worry but it's definitely there. A content "sigh" of freedom.

So there you have it. Yesterday was a bittersweet day for me. It's a little hard to discard such a large part of my life. The future is murky and uncertain. But, DAMN, I don't have to go to work! I have no doubt that we are doing the right thing. It is time to move on to the next chapter of our lives.

P.S. Kudos to Just a Girl and GeekHiker for correctly interpreting my mood.

P.P.S. I think I will take a few days away from Homer's Travels to give me time to settle down and to get a grip on myself. Nothing some household chores and some reading won't fix.

I guess I didn't realize it was coming up so quickly. The longest job I've had was four years but leaving it was the best decision I've ever made. I came back today to visit and it felt like I'd never left, but deep down I know that I'm now in a better place. Sounds like the same is true for you and that's great.

Hey, and congratulations for sticking things out for so long. You deserve a beneficial and awesome retirement!

And just think, you might be participating in the whacky process known as the Iowa caucuses just a few years from now!

I think, by our very nature, we're all a bit afraid of change. Most people that I've known like to have some stability in their lives, be it their job, or family, or whatever. Even though you know what you're moving on to is a good thing, the change is still intimidating. I think you'll be okay, though. After all, you and The Wife have each other.

Take all the time you need from the site. :)

(And apologies for commenting so late, I have fallen a few days behind on my blogging...)