Thursday, November 7, 2013

If its not forever, its not love

"Are you freaking kidding me?"

This is one question that people have asked us ever since we got together. Why wouldn't they? It is not everyday that they come across a story like ours. Unconventional in every sense and illogical to anyone who sets about thinking how it worked. After overcoming the first shock, some dare to ask, "Where did you meet?"

But this story isn't about how we met or how we got into a relation. To cut it short, we met at a relative's place and became friends and like a million love stories, our friendship bloomed into love.

The reason why our story perplexed people has always been the same. There has never been a more unlikely match that they have seen.
For starters, the age difference between us isn't very common. I could say that I have always been a good five years advanced emotionally and he has always been a little too young for his age. Mentally we had bridged the difference and it never felt like too much of a gap. We lived in different cities when we confessed our love and it has been that way for years now. We have been in a long distance relation from the start. If these two things weren't enough, we are as different as chalk and cheese.
He is always on the move while I can sit and dream for hours. I am a voracious reader while he never makes it past the last page of the paper ( in reverse order that is). He eats to live and I live to eat, get the difference? He has always been practical and I have been an emotional fool. I have a nibbling desire to talk out all that I feel and he likes to conserve it like petrol. These are just the most starkly visible difference, don't even get me started on the million others!

Back to the question, "Are you freaking kidding me?"
No one gets why we stuck to each other for so many years. Once we had not met each other for two and a half years. Even now our meetings have been around his official visits and some special days. I have always shrugged and smiled and told them that we have no choice. Inwardly, I cringed.

We were that perfect couple. For those who know us. We have never been with anyone else, we have never taken a break from each other. It seemed like we were made in heaven. That was far from reality. We weren't great. We were just struggling. The lovey-dovey chatting and long night calls had stopped long back. We were getting frustrated with each other. Opposites attract but did they ever tell that opposites can annoy the hell out of you? We went around taking all that came our way, but even a slight change in the tone of one's voice would sometimes lead to fights. He was always tired after work and it would annoy me if he refused to talk to me. Fights had become the order of the day.

After a point, Skype and calls aren't enough.
I longed for the romantic dates.
He longed for company.
Being apart was only adding to the misery of our differences.
It was becoming a travesty of a relation.

I was bored. I did not know if I was falling out of love. It was that numbness. He did not show any response to my altered emotions. He would sometimes just ignore me and that made me doubt him. No matter what had passed in the day, I got a "good night" message at night. It would irritate me that he did not take notice of my mood. Why couldn't he say something to placate me? Why did he behave like everything was normal?

Our careers were also taking a toll on the relation. It seemed like there was no way this would work any more.

I was shopping at a store when he called me. He was getting married. I should have been crying, but I heard him in a composed mannered. He told me he was out shopping for a gift for his to-be-wife. I tittered. He also mentioned he would gift it on their honeymoon. It stabbed me but I didn't say a word.

I resumed my shopping. The saleswoman had picked up so many clothes of my size and all of them fit me well. Then it struck me. I cannot ask him for an opinion. I cannot watsapp the photos and ask him which one to buy when I was confused.

Have you felt a pain so intense that you cried? Cried in real even if the pain was a dream? Have you ever woken up and still felt that ache in your heart and that lump in your throat? Have you remembered each moment of that torment and had tears which refused to stop?

"Good morning baby" he messaged me as usual. In that very moment, nothing felt more special than that regular message.

I sent him.
"What happened?" came the quick reply.
"I saw a dream that you are getting married. I want you. Don't ever leave me"
" I won't. Now go back to sleep"

That was our platinum day of love. The day we rediscovered our love. The day I discovered how much he had become a part of my life without actually being with me.The day he realized how much I was scared to lose him. We depended on each other. We shared the most mundane details of our lives. We knew each other like the back of our hand. We completed each other's sentences. It was ok to be truly ourselves with each other. We did not have to impress each other. Somewhere down the line, we became a part of each other. So much that we treated the other the way we treated ourselves. Everything just rubbed on both of us. There was never anything that had happened to me and did not have a consequence on him and vice versa. Only, we did not notice how far we had come from a single meeting!

Love has always been there. Strong and resistant like platinum. Rare and precious.Unconventional and beautiful and beyond the means of regular stories. It is our platinum love story. A love story that has no golden glitters or silvery nights. Our love is Simple and long lasting. It had seen us through good and bad and been hit by our negativity and yet it stood strong. What could be a better metal than platinum to celebrate our love? Falling in love is golden, keeping it forever is platinum.
What do they say about forever? If it is not forever, it is not love.

We now meet people who ask , "Are you freaking kidding me? You two are still together!!!"

Awwww lovely....U should have mentioned the years you two have been together in Big Bold Letters. Respect my love. And btw the 'conserve like petrol' ...'page in reverse order' made me laugh!!May you win!!!

People dont understand LDRs. I mean..damn you rely on technology to save your heart, why not use the same to keep the one with you? I feel you. What you said...people ask me the same and I roll my eyes at them!