"To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified." ~ Isaiah 61:3

Saturday, July 23, 2011

I will be the first to admit that I’m not the most organized person in the world. One of my life’s mottos (and I have several) is, “don’t sweat the small stuff, and it’s almost all small stuff.” However, in the beginning of my spiritual and physical transformation, God began with the renovation and reorganization of my physical house, the building that I lived in.

“Do not despise these small beginnings, for the LORD rejoices to see the work begin, to see the plumb line in Zerubbabel's hand." …. – Zechariah 4:10 NLT

I loved the house. It was a 2 story Cape Cod with dormers, it had a full basement.To me, it looked like a doll house. I visualized the potential, yet, at that point, I hadn’t taken the steps to bring any of my dreams to fruition. There was work to be done and I was immobilized by my circumstances, feelings of hopelessness and depression, emptiness.

What I needed was a distraction (?) So, I began clearing out boxes in the basement, finding things of use that I had stored away and making use of them, discarding the useless items that were cluttering up my house.

From that point I became inspired to paint and hang curtains, and refinish floors, making this house into something more like a home. Yet, the house never really felt like a home, it just had the appearance of a home.

It was about the same time that we began to have a resurgence of financial problems to add to the marital problems that had always plagued us from the beginning. Without elaborating on the details, other than to say, we went our separate ways.

I was desolate, yet, hopeful in the prospect of having a very different life.

I moved to Mobile, Alabama while going through the divorce, not knowing what would be next. I had a high school diploma and desperation to make some kind of life for my 8 year old son (my daughter was grown and had moved out of the house by that time).

It was at that point that I began to seek out God’s plan for my life, my future, His path. I started, what would be 6 years of school, in the fall of 2006 after my daughters car accident and long recovery.

During this period, I was grateful, though unhappy with my current circumstances, including living arrangements, and desperate to make some kind of sense of all of it, my life, future goals and what my life had been up to this point. I saw nothing to salvage, no foundations, desolate, yet, hopeful… a plowed field.

What was I building toward? How would this fit together in order that my life would make sense? I still could not see a clear picture, or vision for my future.

At that point of desperation God, by His Spirit, revealed to me that He would build me a house. (2 Samuel 7:27) but that I should finish my education first (Proverbs 24:27) and that I needed to learn perseverance (Hebrews 10:32)

"For You, O LORD of hosts, the God of Israel, have made a revelation to Your servant, saying, 'I will build you a house'; therefore Your servant has found courage to pray this prayer to You.” – 2 Samuel 7:27 NASB

“Prepare your work outside; get everything ready for yourself in the field, and after that build your house.” – Proverbs 24:27 ESV

“For you have need of endurance (patience/perseverance), so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised.” – Hebrews 10:36 ESV

I now had a vision for my future and hope in that seed of promise.

In my limited understanding I believed that He was telling me that I would somehow acquire my own home, but in hindsight, that was such a limited view of the dimensions of God’s fullness. Though, He has also provided me with a literal house, a place of my own.

There are aspects of this promise that are yet to be fulfilled, further dimensions of fullness, in this house is also a family. But I’m His building, He’s making me, unshakable, and He will complete what He has started, mind, spirit, soul, and body, planting the plowed field, making sense of the brokenness… making something beautiful.

Faulty foundations have to be destroyed in order to rebuild the house that God has established, His sanctuary in you.