Your Next First Lady?

I have to admit I was a little intimidated by Michelle Obama when I first saw her. She was standing on the far side of a hotel conference room, and I got the impression of a regal woman who has a model’s height (she’s 5’11”) and a classic, understated chic. But then she came forward, extended an endless arm and broke out her famous million-watt smile. She gave me a big hug—as if we were old girlfriends—and I felt as though I’d known her forever. I guess part of my comfort came from the similarities in our lives. Michelle and I are both lawyers; we both have two children (I have a daughter, Satchel, 12, and a son, Jackson, 10; her girls are Malia, 9, and Sasha, 6); and we’re both married to very public men. My husband is director Spike Lee; hers is Barack Obama, the third black United States senator since Reconstruction and our would-be next president.

First I saw Michelle’s friendliness, then I saw her focus. This was business; she had a job to do and a message to get across. She answered each question with enthusiasm, leaning in to me and gesturing with her expressive hands.

Being First Lady was probably not on her mind in 1988, when she met Barack. A product of Chicago’s South Side (her father was a city pump operator, and her mother a secretary) and a graduate of Princeton University and Harvard Law School, she was an attorney at the Sidley Austin firm in Chicago when she was assigned to mentor a new summer intern, Barack. Four years later they married. Now, while her husband runs for the presidency, Michelle, 43, does the lion’s share of raising their girls and works as vice president of community and external affairs for the University of Chicago Hospitals. She’s on the road several days a week for the Obama campaign, shaking hands, charming the media, making speeches…and history.

TONYA LEWIS LEE: People seem to think that you are the secret weapon of your husband’s campaign.

MICHELLE OBAMA: I feel so much passion for this candidacy. When we made the decision to get in this race, there was a side of me that said, “Oh, no. This is going to be so personally disruptive—why put yourself through that?” But then I let myself dream about what his presidency would mean [to the nation and the world] and I get goose bumps.

TLL: You once said, “Politics is a waste of time.”

MO: That statement reflects my cynicism about politics, not about Barack. My thought has always been that he has something special to offer the political process, which can be a mean-spirited game. Over the years I’ve become more confident in people’s ability to recognize a good thing.

TLL: You’ve said in the past that you worry that your and Barack’s skin color could make you the target of bigots. How do you prepare your family for that?

MO: We talk a lot as a family, and we keep our girls very much a part of the discussion when it comes to campaign planning. They’re very comfortable with the Secret Service [assigned to our house]. They call them the Secret People.

TLL: You’re still working while you campaign, right?

MO: I’m working 20 percent [of the time]. I joke that I stick with the job because it covers my insurance, but the reality is that my career has always been very important to me. I travel with two BlackBerrys, one for the campaign and one for my job, so I can stay on top of my responsibilities.

TLL: How do you balance traveling with family duties?

MO: I do day trips so that it creates less disruption for the girls. I usually leave in the morning after the kids are out, and I’m back home by bedtime.

TLL: I’ve read that you get up at 4:30 A.M. to work out.

MO: I don’t do the 4:30 anymore. I’ve been going to a trainer because I’m not disciplined enough to work out on my own. A lot of free weights and cardio, about two hours.

TLL: Wow, that’s a long workout! OK, totally trivial question: How do you handle your hair while campaigning?

MO: Headbands. I try not to do anything additional, because with black folks and perms, that’s where your hair’s on your pillow. So I tend to just slick it back.

TLL: Let’s talk some more about your career. As First Lady, would you continue to work at your outside job?

MO: We’ll have to see. My priority will be making sure my family is happy and settled. No one can predict what Americans will need from their First Lady a year from now, so I will be whatever I need to be for the country. My sense is that being a First Lady is a full-time job, but I’ll know more when the time comes.

TLL: What do your girls think of you?

MO: My hope and my gut is that I am just Mommy. We have this ritual in the morning. They come in my bed, and if Dad isn’t there—because he’s too snore-y and stinky, they don’t want to ever get into bed with him. But we cuddle up and we talk about everything from what is a period to the big topic of when we get a dog: what kind?

TLL: Here’s a question e-mailed by Glamour reader Sarah Dirks, 19, of Binghamton, New York: How do you generate a positive atmosphere at home while your husband is constantly debated in the media?

MO: My girls prefer SpongeBob to CNN, so keeping the energy positive is easy. But Barack and I are always checking: Are they still OK? Every week, there’s a gut check.

TLL: Glamour reader Seyi Falade, 26, of New York City, asks: Why do you think you were criticized for your comments about your husband not picking up his socks?

MO: I think [most] people saw the humor of that. People understood that this is how we all live in our marriages. And Barack is very much human. So let’s not deify him, because what we do is we deify, and then we’re ready to chop it down. People have notions of what a wife’s role should be in this process, and it’s been a traditional one of blind adoration. My model is a little different—I think most real marriages are.

Tonya Lewis Lee is the coauthor of Gotham Diaries and the children’s books Please, Baby, Please and Please, Puppy, Please.

Please note, the print version of this article and earlier version on
glamour.com contained a small mistake. Due to a transcription error, the
word “if” was omitted in Michelle Obama’s answer to Lee’s question, “What do your girls think of you.” The text is correct above.