Stop using WWW, just make it bleedyeyes.com

Everyone knows that Switzerland is a direct democracy. That’s not freedom. Freedom is a Constitutional Republic. I mean the Switzerlanders are money-hiders and watchmakers and socialist. So socialist in fact, I bet that Commie Pinko bastard, G Machots is getting wild over them. They probably don’t even vote.

Next time I buy a deodorant scented like freedom, I had damn well better be able to pop the cap off, take a deep breath and suck in the scent of rusted-out factories, pissy alleyways, and some good mood food.

2st Asia Born

I got to catch Lyrics Born play the Orton Park Festival. It was cool for several reasons. It was outside. It was dark. There were $4 Labatt Blues. It was free.

The show was really quite good. LB is fucking steady. He puts on a wicked show with mega-energy just radiating from he and Joyo on the stage. I think people nearby may even testify to having seen old Rumorator give the show a little Ka-lang-a-lang. But none of them can prove this.

My favorite part of the show was seeing the banners on the stage he was performing on. I suspect he must have taken one look at it and thought “ Heartland CU! These dudes know how to party!”

3nd

Winter is coming. So is the new Holden line. I hope.

4rd

You got one of these rigs?

You should. It fucking eliminated everything. Food Processor? It’s got’s that attachment. Blender? Gonezo. Coffee Grinder? Now used specifically for weed. Toaster? Fuck that thing. Fleshlight? You gotta live on the edge

Seriously get one. I’ve been a smoothie machine because of it. Also puree-ing kohlrabi, carrots, beets and the list goes on. I’m drinking more liquified foods than your gramma with no teeth. For real, get one.

BONUS!

If you’re on the twitters you might want to follow BonIverBlows. The dude is pissed up about music.

2 Responses to “Stop using WWW, just make it bleedyeyes.com”

When I was a kid, my dad saw me watching an ad for some magic bullet type blenderpiece. He said, “son: every four years, for as long as there’s been electricity, somebody’s been trying to introduce something just like this. Blades on an electric motor.”
The man is right.
Not to say they’re not neato, but whatever. Fuck the next guy who comes out with this shit.

so being that I am swiss I thought it was my responsibility to drop some swiss knowledge on your ass. Swiss vote on everything, about 15 times a year, they vote on every bill or petition that gets enough steam. Swiss mercenaries are badasses, (ask your history book) and you forgot that they make the most delicious treat known to man… chocolate, Swiss chocolate… and the Absinthe crew Hails from Switzerland, not to mention I have family over there still and they laugh at us and our “chocolate” and “mountains”
much love,
the official beneficiary of the von rumorstien empire,
Hans