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Another thing about Marriage in Marriage Conversation is to take full responsibility for your own happiness is one essential basis for successful partnering. What that means is this: you no longer get to use your partner as the scapegoat for what you lack. You no longer get to blame her for the coldness you learned […]

The blinding darkness of assumptions The Million Dollar Smile in Marriage Conversation: He walked briskly up to me hand extended “I know you from somewhere…eh, the country club?” “I doubt it” I said as I limply shook his hand. We were standing around at a Chamber mixer on a hot southern California July evening. I […]

The Four Horseman of Irresolvable Conflict in Marriage Conversation: We speak of conflict as a golden road to intimate connection. It can also be the catalyst for ‘irreconcilable differences.’ Conflict is a natural consequence of individuals growing and changing. Conflict is our noticing that something’s different, something’s not quite ‘right,’ something’s changed. If we think […]

Freud said that ‘dreams are the royal road to consciousness.’ In a heavily dunned entertainment culture where we live too often on sound bites, dreams are mostly ignored, shoved to the periphery of our attentiveness, seen as not really relevant to our lives. We do that at our own expense, losing the rich images that […]

The mystery, meaning, and deep power that is possible between fathers and sons is often missed. We perhaps are lulled by the struggles of living or seduced into creating a version of each other that most times isn’t true. Whatever the case, finding a pathway to relationship is rich in possibility. […]

Need awareness is perhaps the most critical component of healthy relating. It’s hard to allow yourself to be aware of your own needs when your life has been spent in the presence of adults who applaud need denial. “What a great player!” I heard a youthful soccer coach say. “He played the entire second half […]

It’s easy to let the world around you control your focus. It doesn’t take much effort to be a stooge of the ‘entertainment culture.’ Being entertained, distracted, pulled in directions others want you to go makes you lazy, relationally speaking. You can reclaim your focus and rebirth your relationship simply by creating your own purposeful […]

That which is unaddressed, avoided or denied can cause great havoc in your relationship and set a mood – resentment – that will poison even your best efforts at loving. Of course you must be prepared for anything once you decide to speak your heart thoughts outloud.

The unfinished business you carry around can be like a cancer in your body. Secrets, I’m not talking here about an individual’s right to private thoughts, can be toxic even lethal. Take a look at what you’re protecting and why. You may find a new path to intimate connections hidden in the very secrets you […]

We make much, in American dialogue about marriage, of the need for faithfulness. “Married 27 years and never been unfaithful.” There is another dimension to faithfulness that we don’t so often talk about. You’ll find it here in this reminder of what faithfulness is really all about.