Wednesday, 9 February 2011

face slapping

I read a story by an online friend. In it, early on a first meeting the Dom slapped the sub across the face. He later repeated it. My friend confided that it was actually a true story.

I wrote to her that I was not sure I would have been so courageous as a Dom on a first meeting. There is something so very powerful and dramatic and potentially humiliating in a face slap - apart also from the pain and potential damage! Unless of course it had been agreed before the meeting as appropriate play. She told me that before the meeting she would have considered it a hard limit but at the time it moved her and created a passionate arousal.

It is not always like this though. I have seen two bdsm video clips where face slapping had clearly not been discussed beforehand. In each the actress - despite being involved in other very intense play - was upset and shaken by the face slapping to the extent that the scene had to be adapted.

I wonder what it is about this particular act that is somehow so personal and powerful? Any ideas? Do you enjoy/accept/endure face slapping as donor or recipient?

27 comments:

This is actually territory that we began exploring not to long ago. And I have found that I do enjoy it (as a recipient). I still haven't figured out why it's so personal and powerful. I do know that If I didn't trust Him absolutely, it wouldn't be a turn-on for me.

Perhaps it has something to do with the shock value and the fact that it's so widely viewed as something you aren't supposed to do by society as a whole being that it is so common in abusive relationships.

I'll be interested to see the opinions that other people have on the topic.

What an interesting, thought provoking topic! I do like having my face slapped. I think for me it is a challenge. A challenge to stay submissive, a challenge to not slap back. It doesn't make me feel vulnerable, or open, or angry, or anything extreme. It is personal, and I wouldn't allow just anyone to slap my face.

I think it all comes down to the attitude behind the slap. If my husband were to slap my face in anger or disgust or as punishment, I'd be upset and I would not like it. But he is always sure that we're playing and that I understand he's not angry or disgusted and that it is all in good fun because he likes to do it and I like being slapped.

I look at face slapping as something when done in this context as very personal. I'm not certain if I could do it without even discussing it with someone first.There are playful slaps, humiliating slaps, sensual slaps, so maybe it comes down to what the person/people are trying to accomplish. I for one enjoy the act.

*LOL* just wrote a long comment here, but realized it sounded more like a post in itself I deleted it.Didn't put much weight into my thoughts about this at first, until I started formulating a comment about it -which is quite often the case actually. My mind works that way.

But now I'm OT. Yes, I think it is a very personal act, for several reasons.One and probably the foremost one, is that if just "anyone" came up and slapped me, I'd say it as violating and abusive, and yeah I would most certainly do my best to get a good one in myself. Which will probably be the biggest challenge for me, if I ever venture on these grounds with my Master. I'm very easily triggered, in all aspects. And I'm also a very hot-tempered little terrier with a lot of bark :POK, I probably just rambled again, I know I lost at least myself along the way *LOL*As always xPx :)

This is something that i have only tried on a couple of occasions the first time i did not know that it was going to happen and i was completely shocked and stunned by it, i did not know how to react and i think that was what he was looking from me, i remember that i just lowered my eyes and bowed my head, trying not to cry as i was so taken aback, i thought that i had done something wrong. It did happen again on a couple of occasions since that time but i dont know if it would be for me.

His hand across my face. I love it. Its acutely personal, in the moment, in the context of play. It brings tears, vulnerability and deepens feelings of submission in me. I don't know that anyone who hasn't got my deep and steadfast trust could do it to me without me feeling a certain distress and discomfort.great topic and wonderful responses.Lx

M has never slapped my face. He slaps be pretty hard just about everywhere else though... It is rare that no mark is left at all, maybe that is why he chooses not to slap my face? Bottoms, thighs and shoulders are easily hidden under clothing, a hand print on my face would need explanation...<3

You raise an interesting aspect Velvet that any marks would be immediately apparent on the face - as opposed to being hidden on a buttock for instance. I wonder if that public display is part of the issue?

Though as DanesWood says - the psychological part of D/s is so very fascinating and is surely a large part of what draws us here.

Your post and the subsequent comments really got me thinking. Face slapping is a hard limit for me, at least right now. I can't imagine not erupting in anger and lashing out. If I was restrained and slapped in the face, that would be the end for me. I can't imagine consenting to this in advance and if I was slapped in the face under such circumstances, I don't know how I'd ever trust that person again. The more I thought about this, the more I realized what a volatile area this is for me. Whenever I've been struck in the face in the past, I've been in the situation of having to defend myself. Perhaps this is why I feel the way I do.

Thank you SubRosaNoMore. It is interesting to read of your very powerful reaction to this. Perhaps though it is all in the context. I wonder if you ever could imagine loving and trusting someone enough to engage in play of this kind - but perhaps it would be too close to some terrible earlier experiences.

(I know I'm late here, but I've been away and am catching up on your posts...)

I never would have thought (<---- isn't that usually the start of Penthouse letters?) I would have wanted anyone to slap my face, but, like so many things in D/s for me, it seems to depend upon the person. I now find myself reconsidering many of my hard limits.

A little over a month ago, I hesitantly brought up the fact that I had started fantasizing about him (him, not anyone else--he is specific in my fantasies, which is another first for me) slapping me.

We discussed it, he admitted that it intrigued him, and we agreed to try it within a specific context.

When it actually happened, it was much more powerful than I realized it would be. It was startling, despite the fact that I knew it was coming, and my reaction--shock, disorientation, uncertainty, and a sudden slip into a deeper and very clear sense of submission--delighted him, which, in turn, fulfilled me deeply.

For us it belongs to a certain level of play that we don't always reach for (it hasn't happened again yet, but we are unable to be together much right now), but when one, or both, of us needs it, it's a powerful and sensual tool that I'm grateful to have developed with someone I trust so much.

Hello Anonymous and welcome. Your comments are very interesting. Fancy this post still eliciting interest. I guess that in itself shows what a powerful act it can be.

I'm pleased you are such an advocate for it Anonymous. You clearly really get off on it.

Since first writing the post I have got a lot close to and more involved with a very special woman. She has grown to like her face slapped. It very quickly takes her to a submissive space far away from her day to day concerns. I always accompany it with kisses and caresses - but then I'm just a softie!

Is it a fetish?

I hadn't thought of it as such but perhaps for some it is. Rather I think it just is an act that has a very powerful symbolism and is sometimes regarded as being too far.

I am new to the D/s world, but am quickly discovering how sexually suppressed I had been in my 23 years of sexuality. My Master slapped me for the first time recently, and let me tell you I was shocked as hell by it! But surprisingly I was also turned on too! He allowed me to slap him back that same night which was a little strange for me personally (I am not a fighter, I am a lover). Since that first slap I have thoroughly enjoyed being slapped in the face and have the best orgasms afterwards! My Master makes sure to give me love and praise once we are all finished playing which makes me as a newby sub feel much better about it all.Thanks for the forum...it has helped in many ways to feel more comfortable with the D/s relationship.

About Me

A Dom who feels he doesn't fit into the mould of "Dom-ness" trying to explore his own nature and feelings and some thoughts about D/s.
Pygar was not a Dom. He was an angel. He was also blind. But he did get to shag Jane Fonda!

Recently on Uncle Agony ...

"But why?"
-
Recently a couple of very long comments were posted by Anonymous to A Kind
Dom in response to the post punishment and domestic discipline. The
questions sh...

1 week ago

Me elsewhere ...

As well as Uncle Agony I do have another blog which I publish occasionally as Beau. It is intended as more light hearted and not to be taken too seriously though I used also to write occasional erotica there.

There is also some of my erotica published on Dragonfly Geisha under the names of Beau, Takumi and Katashi.