Denver and the West

Sgt. Randolph Adams hugs his wife, Ashley, during a return for members of the United States Army's 2nd Brigade Combat Team 4th Infantry Division at Fort Carson on Wednesday, December 21, 2011. (AAron Ontiveroz, The Denver Post)

As the daughter of a military brat, Sandy Marquez has long been familiar with the idea that it doesn't have to be a holiday in order to receive gifts. "You get stuff when you get stuff," she said. "We're not worried about Christmas presents." Even so, Wednesday evening couldn't have turned out any better if she had made a list, checked it twice and handed it off to Santa himself.

Standing at one end of the Special Events Center at Fort Carson Army base, Marquez found herself dabbing away tears when Toby Keith's "I'm Proud to be an American" began playing over the sound system, signifying the moment all of the families present had been waiting for: the safe return of a father, a daughter, a husband, a wife.

And for Marquez, the moment became even more special when her fiance, Staff Sgt. Anthony Oliver, entered the room with nearly 200 other soldiers and lined up, almost directly in front of her, the faint crease of a smile lining his face when he caught a glimpse of her.

"It was just perfect," she said. "To have him home safe; that's the best present God could give us."

Indeed, for the past week, Fort Carson has been the military equivalent of Santa's workshop. Close to 500 soldiers have returned from far-flung places, including Iraq and Afghanistan, to spend the holidays with families and friends.

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For Marquez and Oliver, the reunion marked the end of one whirlwind of activity — celebrating Christmas, as well as his birthday a week ago, and hers on Tuesday — and the start of another: now that Oliver's back, Marquez says the couple can begin planning a June or July wedding. "It's been a long journey," she said.

In one way or another, that's been the case for every one of the returnees.

Sgt. Randolph Adams holds his daughter, Madison, during a return for members of the United States Army's 2nd Brigade Combat Team 4th Infantry Division at Fort Carson on Wednesday, December 21, 2011. (AAron Ontiveroz, The Denver Post)

Wednesday's group was part of the Army's 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division. Working with the local Afghan army and police to provide stability in the western province of Herat, the troops were released six months ahead of schedule — which meant fewer months of worrying for those left behind.

"A little black cloud"

Sitting on the opposite side of the room from Marquez, Candy Grell knew she wasn't going to be able to spend much time with her son James Garcia when he returned.

After a brief reunion, Grell planned to return home to Prescott, Ariz., and then turn right around and drive to San Antonio, where another son is graduating from basic training next week.

Only 39, Grell seems too young to have children in the service — let alone deal with the uncertainty that often accompanies having one of them deployed overseas.

"It's like a little black cloud that's always hanging over your head. Life goes on, and you have great times and you can make some great memories, but it's always looming," she said. "I had another (military) mother tell me once that you should never let your children see you cry because it's like torture for them.

"You try to be strong and act cheery and make light of the situation because what they want is to be connected to you and what's going on day-to-day over here."

Shortly after their deployment ends, the returnees and their spouses or other family members must undergo approximately 40 hours of "re-integration" training, during which the soldiers receive guidance in areas ranging from finances to driving on city streets to reconnecting with their children.

For some, that process can be made easier by the amount of work put in by families before the soldier returns home.

As recently as a decade ago, communication between a soldier and spouse was almost entirely dependent on "snail mail," but these days, couples often talk three or four times a week, and with services such as Skype, they're looking at each other while having the conversations.

"If you can work together, you can make it — if you don't, you won't," said the wife of a staff sergeant who asked not to be identified. "It doesn't matter if it's a Christmas or a birthday or whatever. We do it together. If we're buying a present, he'll get on a computer and . . . we shop online together.

"Something might be going on, like getting the garage fixed, we talk about every little detail before we do it. Then, when he comes back, it's like he never left."

"My heart and soul"

Of course, there are some things that should only happen face to face, which would explain the joyful look on Sgt. Randolph Adams' face as he held his daughter, Madison, overhead, yo-yoing her up and down, making faces and having their noses touch.

Leaving Ashley, his wife of 1 1/2 years, was rough enough for Adams, but the anguish was made twice as tough because Madison was born during his seven-month deployment.

Wednesday evening was the first time Adams was able to hold his child.

"Really, I found that the best thing to do was stay busy, try to keep your head in the game and not get distracted," he said, smiling at Madison's gurgling.

"It was tough, but it's all working out now," Adams said. "She's my heart and soul."

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