6 Thoughts Going Through A Guy's Head When He's Texting With You

6 Thoughts Going Through A Guy's Head When He's Texting With You

A Match.com survey on texting (and sexting!) found that the battle of the sexes might finally have found some common ground: Texting. Turns out 59 percent of guys and girls don't want to be inundated with texts before they get a chance to reply—and when it comes to the work day, less is definitely more.

Plus, 45 percent of dudes don't want to be bothered with a message when they’re on the clock but women, notorious for multitasking, seem to balance the workday and a steamy conversation just fine.

But that aside, what do guys really think about having full-on conversations without ever really saying a word? Is bearing your virtual soul through the tips of your fingers and into a text a burden dudes bare—or the best way to get to know a girl?

We asked the men in our lives to spill on what they love, hate and really don't understand when it comes to texting.

1. "Please, For The Love Of God, Stop With The Emjois."Guys might be visual, but that doesn't mean they want to stare at text after text of baby penguins and bears. Sirius, 28, revealed that when it comes to text etiquette, he can’t stand a girl that’s too expressive.

"Too many emojis just kill a conversation—and definitely my interest," he says. "It's hard enough trying to interpret what a girl is saying—let alone when she's using pigs and cacti and pink high heels in a message to me. Like, what the f*ck does that mean?"

Though Joe, 31, agrees with the unwritten-Emjoi-limit, he says that it's more the waiting game that really turns him off. "When a girl takes forever to respond to a text it makes it really complicated to tell if she's into me or just trying to be nice by responding—or if she's playing hard to get."

He adds, "Sometimes, I've honestly thought that maybe a girl already had a boyfriend because it took her hours to respond to the messages I was sending her. I kept picturing her running into a bathroom to hide and check her phone." And since catfish are everywhere, Joe's hesitations make sense—and they're probably more common than he (or anyone) expects.

2. "Being Asked Too Many Questions Just Absolutely Drives Me Insane."For Ryan, 27, it's the 21 Questions game. "For starters, this isn’t an interrogation. It's texting. I'm not sure what I’m doing later—or what I'm doing on Sunday morning for brunch. Or hell, if I plan on taking any summer trips. I'll know when I get there."

Forrest, 25, agrees. "I hate the texts where a girl is like 'Hey, what are you doing?' One minute goes by… 'Are you busy? Should I text you back later? Maybe you can just call me when you're free? I'm heading to the East Village, any chance you want to meet up?' It's like, whoa, calm down, I haven’t even had a chance to respond yet."

3. "Make Sure You Know Who You're Texting."Pet peeves guys can live with — like too many smiley faces or even the occasional run-on text. But these things, they said, they weren't willing to compromise on.

Tommy, 29, revealed that a girl he was seeing once sent a text to him intended for another guy. "If she sent me a text she meant to send another guy, I'm just not interested in you anymore," he says. "I understand people make mistakes—and yeah, it's happened to me before so I'm a little jaded but like, you see my name right there in the message. You should know the person you're responding to. At least have enough respect for that."

4. "Stop With The Slang."Ben, 26, totes has no room in his vocab or his life for abbrevs. "The following words: Whatevs, Totes, Appropro, Lmfao, etc. I just can’t handle it. Spell it out. Chances are you have an iPhone and once you start typing the word it will finish it for you."

In a similar vein, Josiah, 31 says, "It's a big turn-off when a girl tries to be more street or thug than she really is."

5. "How Many Texts Is Too Many?"No matter what you think, there are rules when it comes to texting. And guys weren’t afraid to spell ‘em out for us:

"Without responding? I would definitely say my limit is like 4 or 5 texts," Rich, 33, says. "I don't know what you're saying, but I'm pretty sure 99 percent of the time you can wait for my response."

For Chris, 29, the rule is similar, but simpler: Do unto others as you'd want done to you. He says, "Personally, I never send four texts in a row. It's just not what I want to do. And I think I'd be really annoyed if someone sent me that many texts without giving me the opportunity to respond first."

Evan, 24, says that the limit is lucky number three. "No more than three. Here's the thing: If I'm not answering the first text, take that as a hint. There's nothing so important that you need to keep messaging me without waiting for an answer."

6. "I Want To Get To Know You — But I'm Nervous Too."Surprise! Guys are a lot like girls. They're nervous, they over-analyze and they definitely ask their friends if they should respond right away — or make you sweat it out a bit.

"I don't like to say much in text messages," Phil, 28 says. "I usually say one or two-word responses … just enough to keep them interested without giving away too much. I'll admit it, I want to come off as mysterious. It sounds so cheesy saying it out loud though. Ha!"

"I think texting is a great way to get to know a girl before asking her on a date," Alex, 26 says. "Texting is casual; an easy way to get to know someone and I feel like I get to be honest about the things I'm interested in. I'm more likely to share things about myself and ask more personal questions in a text. I'm shy, so being able to hide behind the phone a little bit helps me. Girls forget that guys get nervous too."

"I don't really text girls until I'm out. I'm just not good on my phone during the day and the liquid courage of a drink or two definitely makes it easier to send the first text to a girl I've been talking to. Plus, I'm not ready for a big commitment and I don't want to give off the wrong message by texting a girl all day long. By the end of the day, she'd want something more than I was ready for," says Adam, 26.

Employ mental triggers throughout your daily life. For instance, every time you walk through a doorway, remind yourself that you are a confident, sexy person. Or every time you get in your car tell yourself that you will succeed today because when you look great you do great, etc. Constantly be telling yourself that you are perfect and you will eventually believe it yourself, says Josh Anderson, Founder Always Active Athletics LLC and its subsidiaries the Fit Female Club and 30-Day Weight Loss Lab.

Wear attractive, but interesting clothing – something that reflects who you are. If you like travel, for example, wear a shirt, scarf, tie or jewelry from another country, or wear something that reflects your ethnic background, or a hobby (sports, the outdoors, a Hawaiian-type shirt with surfboards, gardening implements or an animal print). It will help start conversations, says Tina B. Tessina, PhD, (aka "Dr. Romance") psychotherapist and author of Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage.

We all know how to give compliments, but most of us don't know how to receive them graciously. The next time someone pays you a compliment, say "thank you" and then repeat it to yourself in your head. If you have a moment, write it down. Keeping a self-esteem inventory helps to remind you of your strengths and heighten confidence levels, says Astroglide's Resident Sexologist, Dr. Jess.

Confidence and feeling sexy is not just about a fresh blowout and a sexy dress, it's how you feel on the inside. Even when you've reached a point of comfort in your own skin, there will be days you just don't feel it. And what do we do those days?

The vibration of color is a powerful healing tool. It balances energies and emotions. "A balanced sacral chakra, or energy center, lends to sexual health, mentally and physically," says Candyce Walti of Hidden Sage, a certified color therapist. Orange is the color of the sacral chakra, says Walti, but not a lot of people find orange sexy. Burning a sandalwood candle helps to awaken the sacral chakra. Red is the color of the root chakra or energy center and balances the adrenal glands. When you are in a state of fright or flight, sex is the last thing on your mind.

However, wearing sexy red underwear, painting your toes red or sporting a lush red lipstick helps to send a signal to your brain that all is well. Black underwear is overall sexy and wards off negative self-esteem.

You wouldn't necessarily attribute drinking plenty of water to getting your sexy on, however; most exhaustion and lethargy is easily fixed by giving your body what it needs and water is a must to keep it working properly, says Jazz Biancci, professional life coach, dancer and founder of Soulesque.

Your complexion gets brighter, your energy increases and all systems work in harmony. Squeeze in a lemon or orange to add some zing to it , or cut up some cucumber and let it set while you’re dancing around your apartment.

Confidence is sexy, but it's also contagious. Studies reveal that our body image can be dragged down by our friends' poor attitudes. By hanging out with people who are generally positive (about their bodies and their relationships), we all benefit from more stable self-esteem and what follows is undeniable sex appeal, says Dr. Jess.

Masturbation coupled with rich, expansive fantasies are a fabulous way to stimulate that incredibly sexy feeling, says Dr. Fran Walfish, psychotherapist, author, and expert panelist on 'Sex Box', WE tv premiering in the US early 2015. Put on a lacy, transparent teddy or nightie and turn yourself on in the bathtub, shower, couch, or bed. Get in the mood by dimming the lights, lighting fragrant candles, and turning on Marvin Gaye's version of Sexual Healing ... pleasure yourself, and enjoy!

Don't forget to spend some time indulging in your fantasies. In your fantasies, you can be whomever you please, says Dr. Jess. You can be a dominant, demanding powerhouse or a demure damsel in distress — either way, you're the center of everyone’s desire in the fantasy world.

When you aren't in the mood for sex, but want to be, certain smells can kick your libido into gear.

"Scent stimulates the mood. Take a sniff of cinnamon, which is known for bringing on the heat in the body, because it increases circulation. You can also smell jasmine or sandalwood, because the smells send out erotic signals to get you in the mood," says sexpert Yolanda Shoshana.

From hot Latin dance music to sensual Jazz to explicit rap, put your ear buds in, close your eyes, and let the music take you to a special place, says Irina Baranov, CPCC, a speaker, facilitator and Executive Coach.

That movie scene that melted your heart (and other things)? You can find it on YouTube. It usually takes just a few minutes to find, watch and remember how you felt the first time you saw it, says Baranov.