It’s Life, Jim, But Not As We Know It

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In a move that could give you what I have termed ‘life whiplash,’ my husband’s company decided to shut down his lab. The employees got a week’s notice.

(The company, did, however, provide nice severance to those who didn’t transfer.)

My husband told me over text as he got the news during the surprise meeting.

I cried . . . a lot. For about three days, I cried a lot, filling up the bedroom wastebasket with tissues. A couple of months after I had finally felt at home, we needed to uproot again, and that was really painful.

My husband is really well-respected in his field, and he’s in the tech world, so there are lots of jobs open right now (at least in certain cities). In fact, within days, he had recruiters contacting him about jobs other places. But he love-love-loved his job, and he wanted to stay with the company in a new office doing what he loved (with a boss he also loves).

So I said yes to the move. That’s actually the easy part, saying yes. It may not feel easy, but it’s much easier than making all the minute, middling, and large adjustments that living in a new city means. (Those are the actual hard part.) I got to work figuring out cost of living differences so that my husband would know what to ask for in a raise. I researched housing options. I canceled the classes I was supposed to teach and the classes I was supposed to take. I registered for new classes to take . . . and held off on scheduling new classes to teach. Rebuilding my business in another new city was more than I wanted to take on in the midst of our crazy move.

It was 28 days between the day we learned the lab was closing and the day we moved to our new city. Life whiplash, see?

But it’s not all bad. Actually, I don’t know if it’s even half-bad. It’s not easy, but it’s really not bad.

We’re still in California . . . just in the Bay Area now, in the boom towns of Silicon Valley. This is the easiest place for my husband to work, because he will likely always have offers open to him here. We can have stability here we never had in LA, where the company he worked was the one place in town he could do what he loves to do. We have a little house, now, with hardwood floors and a guest room–a rental house, I keep having to tell people; you could not convince me to buy a house right now, especially in an area where the mortgages are this high. We have a back yard with a big deck and lots of fruit trees. I’m in school, which at least has given me an immediate purpose to my days and a way to be around other people. I’ve looked for a part-time job, but I’m picky about what I want to do, and I have the option to be picky, which is fortunate. I could talk about the negatives, because of course they exist, but I don’t feel the need to right now.

A new location . . . whether it’s a vacation or a move, it always makes me think, What do I really want for my life to look like? What do I want to take from where I am right now? What do I want to offer? With whom do I want to connect? And what I do want to let go?

When I worked for Habitat, this blog was hugely important to me. It was a creative outlet when I really didn’t have many, besides the cooking that I was doing that I started sharing here. That need for an outlet changed, and how I used my time changed, when I quit that job to become self-employed. This blog’s been limping along ever since then, and though I tell other people not to feel guilty when they don’t blog, I do feel guilty about not blogging here. I had pretty good readership at one point, and I really killed it. That makes me sad.

But I’m tired of thinking about it at this point, and I’m also tired of trying to figure out how to fit my shifting life and lifestyle into this template that I set up so many years ago. Though I still absolutely believe in the core of the word ‘aprovechar’ and the concept of self-care, I have quite different methodology for a lot of what I do now. I don’t eat the way I used to (these days, mostly grain-free–way beyond gluten-free–with only moderate carbs and good doses of pastured meats). I have things on here that I wish I hadn’t shared or had done a better job of sharing. I have things I wish I had shared that are missing. I don’t like the mental space it takes up thinking about this blog and what I’ve written or haven’t.

I do want to blog, is the funny thing. At least, I think I do. I keep thinking of posts to write lately. This move has brought that out for me again. I just don’t want to blog here anymore. And with the exception of certain posts (like the sandwich bread recipe that now has ~200 comments), I don’t necessarily want everything I’ve written to remain here anymore, either. I haven’t decided how to handle leaving up resources that people really want while removing other stuff, but there will be big changes here soon.

Before then, I’ll probably share my new blog URL. I’ve bought the domain but haven’t finished setting up the page, so I don’t want to say what it is yet. I guess I just wanted to give a heads-up to the few remaining souls who read here that, if there are certain recipes or posts you want to keep, now’s the time for printing. The changes, they are a-coming.

I can related to what you feel about the sharing. I’ve been very appreciative of seeing you grow and being a part of whatever you chose to share. Best wishes for the future, and if you chose, I wouldn’t mind keeping up with your new adventures in your new online home.

I have just found your blog while searching for endometriosis friendly recipes. Your recipes are all so close to what I need – thank you so much for sharing them! There isn’t a whole lot out there. I look forward to your new blog!

I don’t know if it makes me ridiculous that I don’t do RSS or anything, yet still check here often enough to see this only 2 weeks after you posted it (and that is after kinda forcing myself to slow down on checking for updates).

I always love reading your writing, Sally, in whatever format it comes to me in. I’ll try to go through recipes on here soon and grab any I need….but that won’t happen til after our move is over!

Just checked in after a long stretch of time. Hope all is working out well for you and that you will post your new info. You were very helpful to me at a certain point and I admired how positive you were about your food limitations. Thank you.

After reading this blog, I just want to say, thanks for what you have created here and best wishes for what you are becoming. Moving is not bad, but it is never easy. I found a group of lady movers in my city which has been a great support for me. The group is “The Boxes” which is christian based. There are groups all of the the US. You may want to check it out. They have a great resource book they read during their meetings called “After The Boxes Are Unpacked”. I recommend it.
Again, Sally, best wishes in your new city!

oh no! I was looking forward ot this site! I just found it! Did she ever start a new site.. If so… What is it!! I just started a new healthy way of eating and living… I am needing to cut out dairy, soy, eggs, and nuts… At first I was bummed but now i feel so much better and more energy! The bread recipe is what brought me to this site!!! please email me if you ahve any tips or know where her new site is.. maryewheat@aol.com

I hope you come back and post your new site! We tried your bread this week and it is FABULOUS. And the most amazing thing is that it was my first gluten-free egg-free dairy-free bread recipe to try. And it is a 110% success. Thank you.