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Everyone celebrates the champs, but lost in the wash of Gatorade and champagne is the fact that there are 31 losers every football season, and 16 losers every week. But at least the players get to go home to hefty paychecks and the promise of revenge on the gridiron.

So what about the poor sods who’ve been supporting these guys all season? They typically have to drown their sorrows in cheap beer, delivery wings and a certain kind of cheese-food product that strongly resembles bright-orange packing peanuts. As the New York Times recently reported, when the hometown heroes go down in flames, the superfan’s only solace is often saturated fats the promise of future heart stents.

Well, we can’t improve your favorite team’s percentages, but we can make your post-defeat commiserations tastier and healthier. Because if you’re finally going to see your team get their championship rings, you’re going have to be around to enjoy it.