NOT JUST ABOUT GETTING A’S
If you compare what you learnt in Primary School to what your
child is learning at school today, you’d notice the vast difference.
What will the future be like for our children, who are born in
today’s age of artificial intelligence and technology disruption? What
does it take for them to survive and thrive in the future landscape?
There is no magic formula for raising successful children, but
studies do point to certain parenting traits. We reveal more in What
It Takes To Raise Successful Children. We hope for our children to
excel in what they do. But how can we spur them towards excellence
in a non-pressurising and encouraging manner? Head to our story
Reach for the Stars! for ideas.
How do you not succumb to family and peer pressure when
it comes to enrolling your children for enrichment classes? In
Encourage, Not Enrol, our writer shares a raw account of how she
stuck to her beliefs despite everyone telling her otherwise. It wasn’t
easy to stand her ground, but she did and it paid off.
In Skills Future, we interviewed several experts to share their
thoughts on skills to nurture in our children, to prepare them for
the future landscape. The three main skills mentioned are critical
thinking, creativity and connectivity.
But I would like to add another ‘C’ to the equation - Courage.
To have the courage to stick to one’s belief, the courage to persist
and the courage to fail.
If our children can grow up with courage, I believe they will be
prepared for any change that comes their way.
That’s how we can prepare our children for today, and the future.
My best,

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WEB DEVELOPMENT DIRECTOR
Seow Poh Heng
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arise. Opinions by the contributors and advertisers are not
necessarily those of the publisher and the editor. The articles in
this publication are for references only. If you have any queries
on any health condition for you and your child, you should seek
professional medical advice.

Skills Future
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What does it take for children to thrive in the future?
Experts highlight three core skills and provide ways on how
to nurture them. BY DOROTHEA CHOW

Adapting to change is not easy
for many of us who grew up in an
era of telephone calls and snail mail.
However, life is very different for
digital natives; children who are born
in the internet and information age.

CRITICAL THINKING

The ability to think critically is the
currency of our time. According to
Mr Edwin Edangelus Cheng, Director
of EduEdge English Specialists,
many students are not quite where
they should be in terms of critical
thinking. Mr Cheng, who is also the
creator of the ‘Formula-Style’ method
of teaching English shares this after
having supported more than 1800
students over the last 15 years as a
language specialist.
Many parents know the importance
of critical thinking and problem skills,
but struggle with the how. Mr Cheng
encourages them to begin with a
conscious commitment to be mindful
of and intentionally seek to improve
their children’s critical thinking skills.
He suggests two ways parents can
tangibly help their children.

 Asking the right questions
Be more aware of your everyday
experiences. "Every day we are
exposed to a great medium to develop
children’s critical thinking skills –

advertisements. Instead of asking
the ‘what’ questions, i.e. ‘What is the
advertisement about’ or ‘What can
we learn from it’, ask the ‘how’s and
‘why’s instead. These are the deeper
questions," says Mr Cheng.
For example, when looking at an
advertisement, we could ask ‘Why
do you think these colours or images
were used?’ We could also examine
the motivations behind the designer
or brand. For example, ‘Why do did
the creator make the advertisement
in this way or ‘How does the message
connects to you and me, as a viewer?’

 A Problem A Day
Mr Cheng calls the second method
'Problem a Day Matter'. He explains,
"When youbegin your day, driving to
work, sending your child to school,
focus on finding a solution to a
problem. Invite your child to keep a
log of the problems they face in school
or in their lives. We tend to become
emotional about a problem initially.
We often ask ‘Why do I have to deal
with this?’ We focus on the problem.
Instead, redirect the focus on finding a
solution.
Ask your children to write down or
share how they feel about the problem.
This helps them become more attuned
with their own emotions. Next,
examine with them why they feel

this way. Finally, tackle the ‘how’ by
listing down all the different ways
your children can think of to solve the
problem.
By working on this exercise on a
daily, consistent basis, both you and
your child will develop more clarity
in your thinking processes. Overtime,
this will lead them to be better
problem solvers.

CREATIVITY

Art is one of the best platforms to
encourage a child’s curiosity and
foster an environment of creativity,
says Ms Kim Fitzharris, Atelierista
(the term used for an arts teacher
in the Reggio Emilia method) at
EtonHouse Pre-School.
“Parents and teachers might
find it hard to suspend the idea
that a ‘finished’ product is proof of
‘successful’ learning. Yes, it is fun to
have a shiny art piece to show and
there is a sense of accomplishment.
But have we forgotten about why we
create art in the first place?” asks
Ms Kim.
Instead of trying to rush or
coerce children to come up with
art that is visually appealing in our
eyes, Ms Kim suggests to allow
children the time and freedom
to explore, experiment, make
mistakes, and find their own
style. She warns that if adults and
children are too focused on a final
product, it takes away from their
experience and limits their learning.
Ms Kim adds, “Art sessions can offer
many precious lessons to us and our
children if we let them learn from the
experience of doing. For example, when a
child handles paint and it drips, the child

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5

CONNECTIVITY

Photo: EtonHouse Pre-school

learns to tolerate frustration and persevere.
He may not see it as a “poor” result but
rather an opportunity to learn. He may
even like the dripping effect and repeat
it deliberately. If the teacher’s response is
one of negative affect, the child is made
to feel that some paintings are better than
others, and they will begin to judge their
own work, potentially hindering their
creative expression.”

 Story-telling
Another great avenue for fostering
creativity is story-telling. Ms Ng
Shu Ping, Director of Pedagogy at
E-Bridge Pre-School, encourages
parents to fire up their children’s
imagination with everyday
conversations, engaging storytelling and to place less emphasis on
the need to do things one fixed way.
She elaborates, “In Singapore,
many parents seem to place an
emphasis on developing their child's
creativity hence the demand for
enrichment programs such as art,

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dance and music courses. However,
the focus tends to be on perfecting
the skill. For example, being able to
draw, dance or play an instrument
really well. This is different from
placing an emphasis on developing
a child's imagination and creativity.
While having the right skill set
is important, imagination and
creativity cannot f lourish if the
learning environment overly
focuses on the right way or the one
way to do things.”
Story-telling sessions can be
used to encourage children to tap
on their imagination. During these
sessions with your children, pause
before the ending and ask children
for their version as to how they
think the story will end. Asking
open-ended questions such as,
"Why do you think that happened?",
"How do you know?", "What do you
feel about ...?" and "How did you
feel?" promote analytical skills and
forge a deeper understanding.

More children and adults struggle
with building genuine connections
today, as more and more of our
conversations are held more over
mobile devices rather than face-toface. But it does not have to be that
way. With consistent boundaries set
by parents and caregivers, children
need not become addicted to these
devices.
According to the American
Academy of Paediatrics, the maximum
recommended screen time for children
aged two to five is one hour a day.
Children younger than 18 months
should not get any screen time.
Is this a tough act to follow?
Certainly. It is challenging to limit a
child’s screen time, especially when
such moments free up already-busy
parents. But we need to make our
children a priority and not see screens
as a “babysitter-in-kind”.
Besides limiting screen time,
children are taught not just academic
intelligence, but social intelligence as
well.
Mrs Dawn Choy, principal of
Dreamkids Preschool, cites this as a
major focus for her staff, “We want to
teach our children empathy and social
engagement; how to build genuine
human connections – from their
friends and teachers in school to the
community in their neighbourhood.”
For instance, when walking to the
community playground and facilities
for outdoor learning and play, Dawn
encourages her teachers and students
to greet different people they meet
with high-fives, and to engage in short
conversations with them.

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7

Reach For The Stars!
How can we inspire our
children to pursue excellence?
Here are 6 ways. BY RACHEL LIM

â?ś Quit being a
helicopter parent

"Helicopter parenting" refers to
the approach by parents who hover
unnecessarily over their children at
the expense of nurturing their child's
independence. The Ministry of
Education (MOE) and some schools
are making a push to weed out
such excessive parenting practices
because it may hinder children from
being independent, savvy and streetsmart. MOE shared a Facebook post
highlighting examples of helicopter
parenting, such as debating with
a teacher to get one more mark, or
taking homework to school for a
child when he forgets to take it along
with him.

â?ˇ Recongise your child's
passion, not just results
Karen Arnold, a researcher at Boston
College, followed high school
valedictorians from graduation
onward to see what becomes of
those who lead the academic pack.
The findings revealed that even
though most are strong occupational
achievers, the great majority of

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former high school valedictorians
do not appear headed for the very
top of adult achievement arenas.
Arnold said, “Valedictorians aren’t
likely to be the future’s visionaries.
They typically settle into the system
instead of shaking it up.”
She postulated a possible
reason that schools reward being a
generalist. There is little recognition
of student passion or expertise.
The real world, however, does the
reverse. Arnold said, “Valedictorians
are extremely well rounded
and successful, personally and
professionally, but they’ve never
been devoted to a single area in
which they put all their passion."

we have to accept that things may
not turn out to be what we expect. It
may suddenly rain and you ain’t got
a brolly. Child vomits on a long car
ride… Well, only when we are forced
to get out of our comfort zone, we
are able to stretch and grow.”
She wisely pointed out, “Kids
become more tolerable to upsets in
life and differences in people and
culture. When you travel with your
kids, they develop bigger hearts.
So for parents who feel inadequate
in bringing your young kids out to
other parts of the world, think of it as
an adventure for things to go wrong
and it is good cos (sic) both you and
your kid grow.”

❸ Help kids delay
gratification

❺ Teach them self-care

Have you heard of the famous
“marshmallow test” conducted
by Walter Mischel and a team of
researchers at Stanford University
in the late 1960’s and early 1970’s?
4-year-old children were presented
with a marshmallow and told they
could either eat a marshmallow
now, or wait 15 minutes and
receive two marshmallows. Some
children gobbled the marshmallow
immediately, while others managed
to wait the full 15 minutes and
receive the reward of a second
marshmallow.
In the follow-up with the
children for the next several decades,
the researchers found that the
4-year-olds who had successfully
waited for 15 minutes differed in
significant ways from the children
who could not wait. Over the years,
the children who had “passed”

the marshmallow test developed
positive characteristics such as better
emotional coping skills; higher rates
of educational attainment; higher
Scholastic Aptitude Test (SAT)
scores; lower Body Mass Index
(BMI); lower divorce rates; and
lower rates of addiction.
Get comfortable with saying
“No” and “Wait” to your children.
They will thank you later in life.

❹ Get out of the house
with them

If you are wondering about how to
inspire “social excellence”, take a
leaf from local celebrity mommy
Jacelyn Tay’s parenting mantra. She
writes on her Instagram, “Travelling
is tremendously beneficial for our
growth and development, both
adults and kids… When we travel,

Inculcate healthy habits such as
eating in moderation, exercising
regularly and getting sufficient
sleep. When you demonstrate and
teach your kids how to make wise
choices in bodily care, they have
a constant source of clean fuel to
meet the demands of life and pursue
excellence.

❻ Be the person you are
proud of
The inspiration to be excellent is
best caught, not taught. Dr Vanessa
von Auer, Clinical Psychologist at
VA Psychology Center, encourages
parents to always be the person
that they are proud of because in
“this way, your children will model
this personal motto and belief
themselves. If children see their
parents persevering with a good
attitude, they are more likely to
follow suit.”

What are some ways that parents
can define “excellence” for their
children?
DR VON AUER: There are many ways
to define excellence but mainstream
society typically focuses heavily on
“academic excellence” and forgets
or even dismisses other types of
successes. Parents need to examine
their children holistically, which
requires noticing and fostering
other ways to achieve their personal
excellence. For example, creative
successes in the arts, drama, dance,
music should all be acknowledged.
Social success in terms of

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demonstrating empathy, kindness,
and excellent interpersonal
skills are all assets to a child’s
development.
What are some pitfalls to avoid
while spurring kids towards
excellence?
DR VON AUER: It is easy for wellintentioned parents to come across
as too harsh or critical when
they expect their kids to achieve
excellence. Instead of putting
pressure on the child, praise the
child’s efforts and perseverance.
This will help motivate children to

achieve their personal best without
feeling “lousy” if they don’t succeed
the first time.
What can parents do when
they face resistance from their
children?
DR VON AUER: Different personalities
find different priorities. If your
child does not see eye to eye with
you on what their definition of
success is, then allow your child
the freedom to decide this for
themselves. This space will help
them find their personal interest in
which they can strive for excellence.

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11

Soft Skills For the 21st Century
Soft skills are a combination of interpersonal, social
and communication skills; traits applicable across life
situations and job scopes. Here's what you can do to
develop your child’s soft skills.
Expert: Pooja
Vishindas, Head
of Training and
Curriculum (Local) at
Nurture Education
Group

Expose them to
purposeful play
BUILDS: Critical Thinking
In today’s world, children cannot simply

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rely of rote learning and memory work.
It is important for them to be able to
analyse, compare and infer information
from their surroundings.
Play can be unstructured where
children play independently, but
purposeful play requires an adult to
organise an activity which facilitates
their play time, in order to extend or
reinforce their learning.
By engaging in purposeful play,

these activities help our children learn
how to make decisions and to evaluate
an issue or problem posed to them. It
gives them the hands-on experience to
discover, explore and create new devices,
or simply add on to existing ones.
With this skillset, children will
be more open to trying alternative
solutions when they meet with a
problem.

Let them pretend
BUILDS: Creativity and

Imagination
A child’s imagination is limitless.
As a key component of creativity,
imagination plays a crucial part of
every child’s cognitive and social
development. To streamline their
thinking process, imaginative

play or pretend play gives them an
opportunity to develop their ideas, as
well as build a child’s communication
and social emotional skills. They are
able to express their individuality
through their ideas and projects and
process information faster as they are
able to visualise auditory information.

Ask probing questions
BUILDS: Innovation

In the same vein as creativity and
imagination, innovation allows them
to explore the issue at hand, and to
have courage ask “What if?” The best
part of innovation is the process of
solving a problem, and not necessarily
the solution at hand.
Constantly encourage children to
innovate by asking probing questions,
i.e.“What if we can speak to animals?”
or “What makes aeroplanes fly?” The
goal is to invite your child to ask more
questions about existing practices,
and to think about coming up with
their own ideas and solutions.

Give them opportunities
to share their ideas
BUILDS: Public Speaking and

Presentation
In their lifetime, your children will have
to communicate, present and persuade
others, be it in higher education or in
the workforce. During family dinners,
give them opportunities to share
their thoughts and ideas confidently
with family members. Learning to be
confident in front of an audience starts
at an early age.

Developing public speaking and
presentation skills help children learn
to communicate their thoughts and
ideas to others in a clear and coherent
manner. Do remember to offer praises
and give encouragement!
This is one skill they can
constantly improve on, even in
adulthood.

Get your kids to play
or work with other kids
BUILDS: Teamwork and
Collaboration
Working in either large or small
groups is inevitable whether in
school, work or even at home. The
importance of teamwork teaches
children that success is achieved
through every individual’s effort.
Parents can encourage teamwork
by gathering the kids to work
together on a collaborative project
such as building a Lego structure or
completing a puzzle.
Teamwork also requires them to
share their ideas and contribute to
providing solutions. In the process,
children also learn to receive and give
feedback positively.

Let them know it’s
okay to make mistakes
BUILDS: Resilience

Parents must let their children know
that it is okay to ask for help in times
of trouble, and to make mistakes
- that way, it would minimise the
chances of their stresses building up.
While children may lack the ability
to express their frustrations or fears,
adults can teach them how to work
through the problem positively.
Learning to manage and regulate
emotions is an ongoing process to build
resilience. This strengthens a child’s
ability to bounce back from the stresses
of life and become better prepared to
meet future life challenges.
With over 20 years of early
childhood experience, Pooja
Vishindas is an expert in early care
and education. A former principal
in several preschool operators, she
obtained her Bachelor of Education
(Early Childhood Education) from
the University of South Australia and
earned a place on the Dean’s Merit
list. At present, she is the Head of
Training and Curriculum (Local) at
Nurture Education Group.

WHAT IT TAKES TO RAISE
SUCCESSFUL CHILDREN

BY DOROTHEA CHOW

Although different parents and
families may have a different take and
definition of “success”, most would
boil down successful parenting to
raising children who grow into happy,
self-motivated and confident adults;
individuals who can contribute
positively and meaningfully to society
and the world.
While there isn’t a magic formula
for raising successful children, experts
and studies point to certain parenting

They demonstrate unconditional
love
A parent’s love is the most
important factor in helping infants
learn about the world around
them. Child psychologists John
Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth
who documented their studies on

early attachment since the early
1960s, clearly established the
importance of the presence of a
loving caregiver when an infant
is just beginning to explore their
surroundings.
A child who receives
unconditional love from primary
caregivers is then empowered to
love himself, and later on, to love
other people. With love, children
can also develop empathy for
others and be considerate of their
needs.

PARENTING TRAIT #2

They allow children to experience
the world for themselves
Instead of hovering over their
children constantly as “helicopter”
parents, or giving their children complete
freedom to do whatever they want,
wise parents strike a healthy balance
between setting boundaries and letting
go. Children should be given the
opportunity to learn about the world
around them on their own.
A parent’s role is to provide a safe
environment for their children to explore
independently, instead of doing most of
the work for them. Children need lots of
time to daydream and imagine, and to
explore the environment around them
through their five senses.
PARENTING TRAIT #3

They give them real-life
responsibilities and consequences
Rather than being afraid to discipline
or enforce consequences, parents with
successful kids are firm and clear in how
they set limits for their children. Each
family has its own system and styles of
discipline, but what is most important
is that these consequences are upheld
consistently and in a loving manner. This
teaches children to be responsible for
their choices and behaviour.
Another way of instilling a sense of
responsibility in children is to give them
chores, even from a young age. According
to the Harvard Grant Study, children
who help out in chores from an early age
achieve greater success in adulthood.
The success was measured on the
basis of educational level acquired,
career path taken and quality of personal

relationships. This sets the stage for and
works towards developing the mindset to
take up work that may seem unpleasant,
so as to contribute to the good of the
whole.
PARENTING TRAIT #4

They teach their children how to
relate to people
In an increasingly advanced society,
socio-emotional intelligence is an
important quality for parents to hone
in their children. Nurturing a child’s
interpersonal skills has significant
impact on the child’s future success in
his relationships, perspectives and work
ethic in school and all of life. Studies
have shown that a child’s intellectual
development is intricately bound to his
emotional development.
PARENTING TRAIT #5

They emphasise perseverance and
effort, instead of avoiding failure
Parents with successful children
encourage them to see their mistakes
and failures as learning opportunities
and stepping stones, and to never give up
without a fight, especially in the things
that matter most. If children do not
take failures as a challenge or learning
opportunity, they can easily lose the
motivation to try and think of themselves
as incapable or inferior to others.
As they get older, this kind of mindset
may also affect how they perceive
themselves. “I’m just not good in Math”
or “I’m not really a people person” – what
psychologists call a “fixed mindset”,
which assumes that a person’s character,
intelligence and creative ability are static
and cannot be changed in any meaningful
or significant way. These beliefs will in

turn influence their personality and
choices they make. What they believe
about themselves may eventually become
their reality.
To curb this way of thinking, be
intentional about praising your children
for the effort they put into a task, not
only for the results that they achieve. This
fosters a “growth mindset”, which sees
failure not as evidence of unintelligence
but as a springboard for growth and
stretching existing capabilities.
PARENTING TRAIT #6

They hold high expectations
Using information from a national survey
of over 6,000 children born in 2001,
Professor Neal Halfon and his team
from the University of California found
that the expectations parents have for
their children have a huge impact on
achievement.
While we want to help our children to
accept and bounce back from failure, we
need to help them develop self-efficacy
and confidence, so they can build on their
own beliefs of their abilities to succeed.
Children must come to see that only their
own hard work can help them attain the
results they want, not merely a reliance
on others nor cultivating an attitude that
gives up prematurely.
Parents have to strike a balance
between pressurising and comparing
their children to siblings and peers,
and encouraging them to bring
their personal best to the table.
Characteristics like confidence,
resilience, perseverance, determination
and self-efficacy, together with virtues
such as honesty and empathy, are
important attributes to develop in a
child from young.

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15

Photos: Chiltern House Preschool

Minding Your Mind
In Singapore, more than 10 primary and
secondary school have introduced mindfulness
practices. But what about preschools? TNAP
speaks to two centres that adopt mindfulness
practice in their curriculum.

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Where is your attention at now?
Are you away your thoughts or actions
right at this moment? To be present and
aware â&#x20AC;&#x201C; this is mindfulness in a nutshell.
Mindfulness is a mind-body based
training where your attention is directed
to an experience. Not just about focusing
on your breath, mindfulness can also be
drawing your attention to your thoughts,
feelings and body sensations, to be aware

of them and to better handle them.
The result? Calmness and fulfilment.
Early research suggests that
mindfulness helps to support youths
in various aspects of their lives; there is
increased calmness, they get along better
with others, are more focused and able to
manage stress and anxiety better. A study
done to examine the effectiveness of
mindfulness in several Britain secondary
schools revealed that the more often
students applied mindfulness practices,
the higher their levels of well-being.

Chiltern House Preschool

Ms Julia Gabriel, Group Managing
Director and Founder of Julia Gabriel
Education, began practising mindfulness
nine years ago when she was diagnosed
with cancer. She was looking for ways
to be more positive and optimistic at
that time and she went on to study
the benefits of a positive mindset.
She became aware of how beneficial
it was, not only for children, who are
bombarded with distractions, but also
for teachers.
“Preschool teaching can be a
stressful job. In order to create a positive
environment, having teachers be selfaware is so valuable,” Ms Garbriel adds.
“The essence of mindfulness cannot
be bought as a package. Our aim is
to accomplish a culture of mindful
teaching, language and communication.
The skills the children gain will benefit
them for many years to come.”
WHAT A MINDFULNESS SESSION
LOOKS LIKE AT CHILTERN HOUSE
PRESCHOOL

At Chiltern House Preschool, a
variety of activities are adopted to
make it fun and engaging for the

young. It could be children lying on
the floor watching their breathing
buddy (a small puppet or bean bag)
moving up and down on their tummy
as they take big, deep breaths.
It can be sitting up straight on the
floor with their eyes closed and trying
to clear their monkey mind, or it can
be during snack when they close their
eyes and focus on the taste, smell and
texture of the food in their mouths. It
can even be a discussion about how
actions of others can make them feel
and how they themselves feel when
they are generous or kind to others.
Ms Gabriel believes many
children in classes struggle not
because of their lack of academic
ability, but because they cannot
focus. The school has not only seen
improvement in the classroom, but
even parents have commented their
children applying it at home.

The mindfulness activities
were first piloted in their full day
programme at Chiltern House
Mountbatten in 2015. Today, the
school holds five-minute daily
mindfulness sessions to all its
students from Nursery One and
above.

My Little Gems Preschool
When he was young, Mr Ben
Lim, Founder of My Little Gems
Preschool, did poorly in his studies
and often ranked at the bottom of his
class. It was until he was introduced
to a Buddhist mindfulness
meditation that transformed his
life. Through consistent practice, he
overcame his anxiety disorder and
was able to focus and sleep better.
His academic performance began to
improve and he graduated with First
Class Honours from NUS.

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17

Photos: My Little Gems Preschool

Inspired by his own experience and
practice, Mr Lim founded My Little
Gems Preschool in 2011 to share the
benefits of mindfulness with children.
The school adopts a mindfulness
programme integrated with character
education, where children learn to be
more attentive, develop greater selfawareness and acquire positive values
such as gratitude and loving kindness
to support them in their psychological,
social and emotional development.
WHAT A MINDFULNESS SESSION
LOOKS LIKE AT MY LITTLE GEMS
PRESCHOOL

Children from as young as two years
old engage in daily mindfulness
training with simple instructions.
Each day starts with Mindful
Morning sessions, where the children
practice paying attention to one
object of focus. It could be their
breath, their body or any of the
senses. The goal is to be fully attentive

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to the object of focus without any
judgement.
As a father of five children aged
one and half years old to 12 years old,
Mr Lim understands how easy it is for
children to be distracted. When this
happens, the teachers or trainers guide
them back to their object of focus. Mr
Lim explains, "Over time their attention
span will increase and they will develop
stronger self-control. When they

become more attentive, they will also
become more sensitive to their own
and others emotions, allowing them to
develop empathy for others.”
“For children to adopt mindfulness
as a way of life, it has to be fun and
interactive too,” shares Mr Lim. There
are other mindfulness programme in the
school that incorporates activities, songs,
stories, discussions, role play and games,
each designed to encourage children’s
engagement.
As an integrated mindfulness
and character education programme,
students also practice loving kindness
by ‘sending’ well-wishes to oneself
and to others. This practice not only
cultivates generosity, it also allows
children to get in touch with their
feelings and connect with others.
During the Nepal earthquake in 2015,
children worked with their parents
to create craftwork for sale and raised
more than $2,000 for the victims.
Over the years, My Little Gems
Preschool graduates have gone on to
do well academically and received
good character and academic
achievement awards in their
respective primary schools.

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“Honey, Where’s All
Your Money?”
As a parent, do you have the
mindset, habits and skills to raise
junior to be financially savvy? We ask
Ernest Tan, Founder and Director
of Jopez Academy to share practical
tips and tools to empower your
child to be financially savvy.

NOT ALL ABOUT GRADES

Although educational qualifications and
hard work is really important, it has little to
do with being able to generate sustainable
wealth. Having the skills to achieve good
grades and perform really well in your job
does not mean you possess the skills to
become a money master.
The ability to be a money master is
a skill on its own; a set of positive

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money habits and attitudes that can
be acquired. The trouble is schools
don’t teach us enough on the skills to
become financially successful.

HOW DO YOU SPEND YOUR
MONEY?

From as young as two years old,
children learn almost everything

from mimicking their parents, and
this includes how you manage your
money. For example, a trip to the
supermarket to buy groceries shows
your kids how you spend and handle
your cash.
Here’s another fact to ponder on.
Ever wondered why in certain families,
the parents have been struggling
for money for many generations? I

believe we model after our parentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;
money behaviours, beliefs, patterns and
attitudes. Since our parents were not
imparted with good money habitudes or
money management skills, they did what
they could by working very hard, and
struggled to have money to bring us up.
As your kids grow older, include
them in basic daily financial decisions.
For example, when shopping for
groceries, explain why you decide to buy
Brand A fruit juice instead of Brand B.
To raise kids to be money smart,
teach them about saving, spending and
sharing, and lead by example.

MONEY JARS

Kids learn faster when the lesson are fun
and visual. As soon as kids are given an
allowance, I encourage parents to give
each of their kids a set of money jars and
also show them your own money jars
(adult version).
Show your kids how to portion
part of their allowance into their
money jars whenever they receive
an allowance. Have them to set goals
on each of the money jars, i.e. Saving
Goal, Spending Goal and Sharing
Goal.
Every time your kid adds money to
the savings jar, count together on how
much they have saved. Talk to them
about how much more they need to
reach their goal and the estimated time
needed to achieve it.
When giving your kids an
allowance, especially for young kids
who are new to handling their own
money, consider giving them a small
amount of money, and help them
portion the realistic amount of money
into their different money jars.

Receive a set of MONEY JARS
Receive a set of Money Jars
when
you
sign
up here:
when
you sign
up here:
www.
jopezacademy.com/mjars.
www.jopezacademy.com/mjars.

DELAYED GRATIFICATION

Inspire your kids to set long term
spending goals for something more
expensive. For example, if your child has
a habit of buying a snack after school
every day, he may decide if heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d rather
save all that money on snacks to buy a
Xbox instead. The concept of delayed
gratification is enforced when children
go through the process of thinking about
what they have to give up in order to
purchase a bigger ticket item.

Have discussions and talk about
charity with your child. Bring them
along when you make a certain donation.
The more you expose your children to
acts of generosity, the more ingrained
such practices become.

THE HABIT OF GIVING BACK

According to developmental
psychologist Marilyn Price Mitchell,
children who perform acts of kindness
experience increased well-being,
popularity and acceptance among peers.
This, in turn, leads to better classroom
behaviour and higher academic
achievement.

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21

Encourage, Not Enrol
It takes courage to stick to your parenting beliefs when
everyone tells you otherwise. But it pays off. Dorothea
Chow recounts her experience.

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For most of my academic life, my
parents drilled into me the importance
of studying hard and getting a good
education.
I used to say I would not subject my
own children to such pressure, and adopt
a more laidback approach of parenting.

However, now that I am a parent of a
primary-schooler, I do understand the
unavoidable tension that all of us and
our children must face as they enter the
formal education system. I wouldn’t say
that I have had to eat my words, but I’ve
certainly had to rethink some decisions
and make some changes to how we
portray school, grades and studying hard.
From as young as four, children are
taught to read, spell, write and speak
in public. For those who may not be as
quick as their peers to jump onboard the
learning express, well-meaning teachers
and friends would encourage the child’s
parents to consider various forms of
intervention, i.e. enrichment activities,
to boost their child’s progress and
confidence.
I have been there. I understand how
it feels. When my younger son started
nursery last January, his teachers told me
that his speaking was quite undeveloped
as compared to his peers. He had limited
vocabulary, and would occasionally
stutter, especially when he was trying
to think of how to express himself.
However, those same teachers did not
suggest that anything was wrong with
him. Rather, they encouraged me to keep
speaking to him often, and reminding
him to stop and think whenever he
stuttered.
Still, their comments worried me.
So I got him assessed with a speech
therapist. She too, commented that he
was on the slow side in this respect, but
encouraged me not to worry as young
children often develop at different rates.
I heeded her advice and let him be, even
though certain family members kept
commenting on his speaking. It was
hard to not do anything, and not to feel
protective and worried about my son

in the face of such comments. But I’m
glad my husband and I were on the same
page.
One year later, my younger son’s
verbal skills have steadily improved.
He is still not as verbose as some of his
classmates, but he is certainly not far
behind anymore. In his case, it was truly
a case of simply developing a little later
than his peers.
In this one year, I have learnt that he
is a tender-hearted chap, even though
he doesn’t show it. Had we made a big
deal about his speech delays or sent
him for therapy or ‘enrichment’ for that
purpose, he might have become insecure
about his speech and struggle with those

read to him often, sit with him while
he stumbled slowly through his reader
books, and look for reader books on
topics of his interest.
These were tough decisions to make.
We had friends who advised us not to
wait until it was too late. My own mother
also encouraged me to send my eldest
for reading classes before the primary
school year began. But I knew I still had a
choice. We continued to encourage him,
and let him grow at his own pace.
Just weeks after he began Primary 1,
I was astounded to hear him reading his
books fluently. Within a few more weeks,
he had graduated on to his first simple
chapter books, and now, one semester

“It was hard to not do anything, and
not to feel protective and worried
about my son in the face of such
comments. But I’m glad my husband
and I were on the same page.”
feelings inside. Today, he is a happy and
very chatty five-year-old.
Meanwhile, my older son took to
reading very late. I was worried about
how he would fare in primary school,
as he was still struggling with anything
more than four letters at the end of his
K2 year. We chose not sign him up for
any enrichment classes, as we wanted
him to have as much time for free-play
and art, which he loves.
We didn’t want him to dread reading,
but discover the joy of books for himself
in his own time. So we continued to

later, he is a diehard Geronimo Stilton
fan. Looking back, I am glad we did not
force him to pick up reading before he
was ready. And when he was ready, it
was truly like a switch that went on in his
mind. He went from ‘trying to read’ to
‘avid reader’ just like that!
The one area of enrichment we
agreed to take on was for the Chinese
language. Both my husband and I
speak hardly any mandarin, and the
boys’ kindergarten is a more Englishbased one. We knew that they would
need at least a basic understanding

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23

of the language in order to cope with
understanding the lessons when they
went to primary school.
The key to preparing our children for
school life is not to force them to reach
a certain standard before their time or
to pre-empt every possible challenge or
roadblock they will face in their studies.
Seek to inculcate a love for learning
and a healthy attitude towards their
studies. Create an environment that
encourages them, point them in the right
direction, provide resources they need,
and help them find strategies to cope
with challenges along the way.
Of course, the worries will come. I
struggled with the fear that my child would
not be as prepared as his peers in primary
school. Would he lose confidence because
others were better than him? Would he be
discouraged if he didn’t get high marks on
his assignments and spelling tests?
Interestingly, I have found these
worries unfounded. He tells me that
so-and-so is really good with numbers

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and can do additions to one thousand,
without feeling bad that he himself takes
a long time to add double digit numbers.
He doesn’t always get his spelling right,
but he can tell me confidently that he did
his best. He struggles with math but we
work through the problems together, and

write. He doesn’t ridicule his younger
brother for mistakes made or make him
feel small. Instead he tells him, “Last
time I also cannot, but now I can. See?
You can do it.”, and it warms my heart so.
Encouragement begets an encourager.
So instead of being stressed about
children not being able to read as fluent
as their peers, focus on encouraging their
love for reading, listening attentively
to their stories and look for books that
interest them.
Instead of being worried about
ensuring they know their math concepts
even before it is taught in school, leave
the teachers to their job and follow up
with our children after the material has
been covered.
Instead of focusing on getting every
question right, focus on encouraging our
children to keep trying; that mistakes are
proof that they are trying and learning.
If not, we fail to prepare them for the
failures and pitfalls of life, which are

“The key to preparing our children for
school life is not to force them to reach
a certain standard… Seek to inculcate
a love for learning and a healthy
attitude towards their studies.”
it’s made us stronger, closer, and thankful
for every milestone reached.
Best of all, I see him encouraging
his little brother, who is now beginning
to learn blending (reading) and how to

certain to come.
If we do not become their greatest
encourager in this journey of school life,
then who will?

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25

TED TALKS All Parents And
Teachers Should Watch
How can we create an education system that works for kids? Get inspired with
these TED Talks. Click on the image to watch. PHOTOS: TED TALKS

‘Every Kid Needs A Champion’ by Rita Pierson
Full of vivaciousness, Rita Pierson
talks about the value and importance
of human connection. Seek first to
understand, as opposed to being
understood, Rita urges. And kids don’t
learn from people they don’t like. If
you made a mistake, apologise to your
kids or students, says Rita. She sheds
important observations from her 40
years of experience as teacher. Her
hope is for educators to connect with
students on a real, human personal
level.

‘3 Rules To Spark Learning’ by Ramsey Musallam
What does it take to evoke real
questions in students? In May 2010, at
35 years old, chemistry teacher Ramsey
Musallam was diagnosed with a large
aneurysm in his brain. He explains how
this life-threatening medical condition
jolted him to understand the true role
of an educator – to cultivate curiosity.
Questions can be windows to great
instruction, but not the other way
round, says Ramsey. In his sharing, he
gives three rules to spark imagination
and learning.

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‘Grit: The Power Of Passion And Perseverance’
by Angela Lee Duckworth
At 27 years old, Angela left her highflying consulting job to become a math
teacher to seventh graders in a New
York public school. She noticed that IQ
was not the only difference between
her best and worst students. “What if
doing well in school and in life, depends
on much more than your ability to learn
quickly and easily?” she asks. She went
on to study kids and adults in superchallenging settings. In all the settings
she surveyed, a certain characteristic
stuck out: Grit. She explains her theory
of grit as a predictor of success.

‘When You Know, The Fear Will Go’ by Dylan Soh, at
TEDxSingapore
That feeling where you can dream big,
and you can make anything happen.
Where is that feeling now? What
happened to it? Who better than a
12-year-old to help you rediscover
that feeling again. Dylan Soh aims to
inspire more people to live in a world of
unlimited discovery and possibilities. In
"The Big Red Dot", written by his dad
and illustrated by him, he articulately
expresses his hopes for Singapore and
the journey in life we all take as a child or
as an adult.

TED is a nonprofit devoted to spreading ideas in the form of short, powerful talks. It began in 1984 as a conference
where Technology, Entertainment and Design converged. Today, it covers almost all topics, from science to business
to global issues. Independent TEDx events help share ideas in communities around the world.

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27

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