Outdoor Backdoor review

Summary:Outdoor Backdoor is everyone's idea of a romantic stroll coming true - taking a walk and then fucking your girl in the butt. Not a lot of content on this site alone, but part of BrainPass mega-network. Only mediocre as stand-alone site.

Intro promises

“What can be more enjoyable than a long walk on the beach? Fucking the hottest women in the ass on the beach!!! This site brings you all anal with some of the most beautiful women in porn all filmed in exotic locations. Award-winning director Pierre Woodman handpicks only the hottest women for his dirtiest work... check it out!”

First impression

Is there anything more romantic than a nice long stroll on the beach (preferably at twilight)? How about a good long buttfuck on the beach? Outdoor Backdoor certainly thinks there’s nothing more romantic than a good long buttfuck on the beach, especially if the romance is filmed and later sold online to other romantics all over the globe. Yes, Outdoor Backdoor is a porn site for men with a soft side, the kind of hopeless romantics who like picking flowers and fucking their women face-to-face. Award-winning director Pierre Woodman is one of these hopeless romantics and that’s probably why he created Outdoor Backdoor, a site that “brings you all anal with some of the most beautiful women in porn all filmed in exotic locations.” Is there a better way to say “I love you” than fucking the living shit out of your lover’s asshole? I think not.

Prices

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Our opinion

Outdoor Backdoor’s trial exaggerated just a touch when it suggested these videos were shot in “exotic locations,” unless you happen to think a pool in some guy’s backyard is exotic. (To be fair, there is one scene that was shot in front of a waterfall and another one that looks like it was filmed near a lake, which is sort of like a beach... Hey, they both have dirt and water, what more do you need?) No matter — people aren’t watching these clips to check out the scenery. Or are they..? A point to ponder, people.

Currently, there are just fifteen episodes on Outdoor Backdoor. I know, I know — that’s not a lot of content, especially for thirty bucks a month. Don’t shoot the messenger — take it up with Pierre Woodman, tuff guy.

Each episode contains a video and a photoset. The photos can be downloaded one at a time or in a convenient ZIP file; sadly, the photosets are filled with crummy screen captures, thus you probably won’t want to download ‘em either way (unless you’re a glutton for punishment). The videos are cut up into a few clips, which can be downloaded utilizing Windows Media Player or QuickTime in two speeds (high and low). Lady’s choice! Wanna download the full scene and burn a DVD of it? Go for it, big guy — you earned it. Celebrate good times, c’mon!

The action in the episodes is standard porn fare. Suck, fuck, repeat. You know the drill. And, obviously, there’s plenty of anal to go around. Hurrah.

I must say, I really love the broken English descriptions that Pierre (or whoever) is giving these episodes. Dig this one: “A nice chick with very nice tits doing blowjobs, double fuck, ass and pussy fuck with three big dicks, finally she take all the cumshot in the mouth!” Isn’t that great?! Believe it or not, I actually corrected some of the grammar and spelling errors in that run-on sentence — it made even less sense before I got my hands on it! This one’s also great: “Two chicks one dicks [sic], it’s a great day to fuck! You will see blowjob, pussy and ass fuck with normal cumshot!” Thank God it’s a “normal cumshot” — I would’ve lost my lunch had they done one of those crazy ones with all the streamers and party balloons! Ah, it’s the little things in life that make this hell-ride bearable, kids...

Conclusion

Outdoor Backdoor is bringing something to Internet smut that is sorely missing: romance. This site makes me want to get caught in the rain. This site makes me want to quote Shakespeare’s sonnets to my girl while I pummel her bloody asshole with my thud-stick. This site makes me want to purr sweet nothings into my parole officer’s good ear. This site will change the way you think about romance (not really, but it will distract you from your loneliness for a few minutes and, hey, isn’t that better than romance? Seriously, fuck romance!).