Patiently [SEWC]

Sitting patiently at the end of the row, waiting. Watching the leaves turning outside the window. The brilliant green of the leaves and lawns spotted
with the flowery colors of spring were giving way to summer. Spring had been so full of hope. Would she see him today? Ever since that wonderful day
when he first appeared she has been waiting, watching, hoping to see him again. She barely caught a glimpse of him the first time through the crowded
room. He seemed like he was looking for something, but wasn't sure exactly what it was. She secretly hoped it was her but there were so many others,
each with something special to offer. What chance did she have? Still, she waited patiently and hoped upon hope that what she had to offer was good
enough.

She looked around and sized up her competition. Some of them seemed to almost sparkle. They were so decorated and brightly colored she had to wonder
if there was any real substance beneath the layers of pretty wrappings. Others seemed so plain. It was as if they went out of their way to go
unnoticed, even though they were there in the thick of things, just like all the rest. Was it because they didn't feel like they were good enough? Was
it their first time? Were they afraid, not knowing what to expect of unfamiliar hands upon them? She remembered her first time. It was scary. And it
didn't work out as well as she had hoped. But despite it's sad ending, she saw the potential for something beautiful and decided to continue trying,
knowing it was the right thing to do. Alone she was fine, but unfulfilled and without purpose. It was the other half of the relationship that made her
feel whole. She needed to be complete.

She felt a hand on her back and before she knew what was happening a man was holding on to her, eyeing her. He looked her over, leering at her, then
abruptly shoved her back where he had found her and walked away without a word. She was stunned. Instead of looking at him and wondering what his
problem was, she looked at herself and wondered what was wrong with her. It was not the first time something like that had happened to her. She had
been man-handled, roughed up a bit, and then tossed aside like yesterday's news. Like spring eternal, she never gave up hope though. She knew in her
heart that somewhere was that special someone who would appreciate all she had to offer. Who would care for her, treasure her, thirst for her every
word. And patiently, she sat waiting.

Hours turned to days. Days turned to weeks. Weeks to months. She never gave up. Patiently, she sat waiting, watching, hoping. Then time gave way to
doubt. Maybe it wasn't meant to be. Maybe she set her sites too high. After all, he seemed too perfect to even exist. If she was going to be honest,
what were her chances? Where spring had been so full of hope, summer was full of disappointment, and nearing its end. Her faith started to weaken, but
she resolved to forge ahead. There was a happy ending out there somewhere waiting for her and she knew she would never find it if she gave up. Staying
in the fight was the only way to win.

She was watching a young man across the room trying so hard to get the target of his affection to open up to him. It was funny and sad at the same
time. She felt a slight shiver down her spine and knew milliseconds before it happened. She hoped and prayed that it wasn't another one of those
grubby fingered losers who just wanted to touch everything they could get their hands on. She felt filthy just thinking about it. And then she
realized – it was him!

She smiled and presented herself as best she could. It wasn't until she felt his eyes upon her that she realized she was a little worse for wear.
Still, she stood proudly, showing what she had to offer, but not giving away too much. There had to be some mystery, after all. He smirked a silly
grin at her. She fluttered. She wished the moment would never end but also wished he would just make up his damn mind already. He smiled at her, with
genuine affection and interest. And they left together, headed for his home. She was so excited she could hardly contain herself.

His apartment was small, but tastefully decorated. And just a little messier than she would have liked. It was not what she had expected. She realized
that she really knew nothing about this man. Only that she had imagined him to be some kind or Prince Charming. She hoped his reality and her
imagination weren't so far apart that she would become disillusioned. Now was not the time for second guessing. They sat on the couch in his living
room for a few minutes while he flicked through the channels on the television. What is the obsession men have with television, and why can't they
stay on one channel long enough to even know what it was about? She called it “Short Attention Span Theater” and giggled to herself. She knew he
had more depth than that. He had to...

Prince Charming got up and went into the bedroom returning a few minutes later having changed in to more comfortable clothes. To her joy he lowered
the volume on the television, and turned his attention to her. This was the moment she had waited for.

He looked at her with an intensity she was not familiar with. He seemed to genuinely want to know her. Slowly, gently, his fingertips caressed her.
She felt herself give way to his touch, open to his curiosity. He didn't rush things. He moved slowly, taking his time to savor every moment. She had
never felt so appreciated and special. She gave herself to him and he took everything she proffered. Slowly, she revealed herself to him. He seemed to
hang on every word, thirsting for more. Together, they traveled through the chapters of her life. Some were funny. Some were sad. Some were
passionate. But he lingered on each one, knowing that together they made her who she was. He was enjoying getting to know her, and she knew it. She
marveled at his almost childlike hunger for knowledge and thrilled at sharing all she had to offer with him.

It was getting late. It seemed like they had shared a lifetime of thoughts and emotions. Suddenly she realized, she was running out of story to tell
him. The winter of their romance was approaching. No! It can't be over already. Her mind screamed. She tempted him with the thought of going back to
the beginning and starting over. Maybe he would discover something he had missed the first time. It was never too late to start again. She pleaded
with him.

Amid her desperate plea, he turned the last page, and the story came to it's close. He seemed satisfied at it's end. She was horrified that it was
over. She saw the light dimming as the covers came together. She felt that familiar hand on her spine as he pushed her into a place reserved just for
her on the shelf that was his life.

Sitting patiently at the end of the row, waiting. Watching the leaves turning outside the window. The deep hues of the green of summer had succumbed
to the cold and turned pale brown. She felt as though her leaves had withered with the coming of winter as well. Would he see her today? Ever since
that wonderful day when they first met she has been waiting, watching, hoping he would see her again. He seemed like he was looking for something, but
wasn't sure exactly what it was. She secretly hoped it was her but there were so many others, each with something special to offer. What chance did
she have? She hoped upon hope that what she had to offer was good enough.

Still, as the first flakes of snow flew past the window, she waited, patiently.

Women are books, and men the readers be,
Who sometimes in those books erratas see;
Yet oft the reader's raptured with each line,
Fair print and paper, fraught with sense divine;
Tho' some, neglectful, seldom care to read,
And faithful wives no more than bibles heed.
~Benjamin Franklin

I felt bad for her too. It was difficult to write from the woman's perspective. It took some time to figure out what feelings she might be having,
then how to express them - which men are traditionally not so good at...lol

Weeeelll, she seemed awfully needy. She seemed very young and very unsure of her own worth, like a High School girl more than a woman.

Many women I know have some insecurities, or have experienced the "man handling then setting aside" kind of thing, but the woman portrayed had no
sense of self-worth without the man, at least none that she recognized. She was a bit of a Disney Princess type. That part was hard, too. I almost
thought you were writing about a pet in a pet store or something at first...

We women have, generally speaking, a bit more...spine...

That isn't a critique, though, so much as it was an expression of sorrow for the poor girl in your story!!

To be honest, I tried to write it from the perspective of a girl/woman who had a bit of a rough life. Sort of a lost child who grew up with a very
negative view but still had hopes for something better. She was lacking in self esteem, and was looking for affirmation. At least that was what I was
shooting for... I could only imagine what it must be like from a woman's perspective, and a somewhat damaged one at that.

All said and done, it was supposed to tug at the heartstrings so, mission accomplished. :-)

I know what its like to make that long walk across a crowded bar to ask a woman to dance and then have to make that long lonely walk back when she
says no. I don't know what its like to be one of the many women in between who gets passed by, going both directions, and has to wonder why. Instead
of looking at him wondering what his problem is, she looks at herself and wonders what is wrong with her...

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