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Confessions Of An Imperfect Pastor

What Does It Mean to Say "I'm Sorry" to God?

I am an imperfect pastor. I make mistakes. I hurt people with my words and actions. And my parents, pastors, and mentors taught me that if you hurt someone or offend someone, you say: “I’m sorry” and ask the person to forgive you. The other morning I was impressed with the thought of how I have hurt and offended my Heavenly Father, and how I needed to tell him, “I’m sorry.”

Father, I’m Sorry!

For the times I taught your word in my strength and for my glory, I’m sorry.

For the times when I thought I was You, I’m sorry.

For the times I said you existed, but lived like you didn’t, I’m sorry.

For the years that I was angry at how “church people” treated me, I’m sorry.

For the times when I was jealous/envious of another’s gifting or their success, I’m sorry.

For the times I let days go by without talking with you, I’m sorry.

For the times I was more concerned about my blog traffic, likes, and shares, and social media stats than your glory and honor, I’m sorry.

For the times I thought it was all about me, I’m sorry.

For the times I embarrassed the Kingdom with my words/actions, I’m sorry.

For the times I put the church before my first church (family), I’m sorry.

For the times I was self-righteous and judged others harshly, I’m sorry.

For the times I knew what was right but did what was wrong, I’m sorry.

For the times when my motives were tainted with personal gain and security, I’m sorry.

For the times I harbored unforgiveness and bitterness toward others, I’m sorry.

For the times I placed my priorities ahead of yours, I’m sorry.

For the times I posed and managed an image to impress people, I’m sorry.

For the times I clouded the truth to save myself, I’m sorry.

For the times I let fear keep me from living my values, I’m sorry.

For the times I only went through the motions, I’m sorry.

For the times I breathed your air, ate your food, used your gifts, and enjoyed your blessings, without saying thank you, I’m sorry.

What Does it Mean for An Imperfect Person to Say “I’m Sorry?”

Admitting that you are imperfect, apologizing for your sins, and repenting are the first steps to experiencing freedom from the fear, guilt, and shame. But, what are we saying when we say: “I’m Sorry?” I think that it means at least four things:

First, saying “I’m sorry” means that we are adjusting our thinking about God. Some have bought into a hellish lie that God is a vengeful God who keeps a record of our wrongs. God forgave us, and he cannot and will not lie by withdrawing his forgiveness. When we say: “I’m sorry,” we are declaring that God is gracious and compassionate; God is long-suffering; God is ready to forgive all sins, transgression and rebellion. (Exodus 34:5-7)

Furthermore, saying “I’m sorry” means that we agree with God about our sins. Confession is agreeing with God about what God says about our sins. It is admitting we are imperfect and need forgiveness. Confessing our sins means we don’t justify, rationalize or explain our sins away. We humbly and honestly side with God. When we say, “I’m sorry,” we admit that our sins break the heart of God. 1 John 1:9 says: “If we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

Third, saying “I’m sorry” means we are abandoning our sins. We have been conditioned to have emotional confessions all the while hanging on to our sins. But Proverbs 28:13 says: “People who cover their sins will not prosper. But if they confess and forsake them, they will receive mercy.”

Confession is admitting our sins to God; repentance is walking away from our sins and walking back to God.

When we say, “I’m sorry” but hold on to our sins, sometimes God has to break us to wake us to the ugliness of our sin and the beauty of his grace.

Finally, saying “I’m sorry” means we are accepting God’s complete forgiveness for all our sins. Only God can forgive your sins. One reason guilt saddles us is because the enemy has convinced us that we can forgive ourselves. Our freedom is going to come when we stop placing what we believe about ourselves above what God says about us.

If your word about you is stronger than God’s word about you, then YOU have become the hero in your own story.