Saturday, April 4, 2009

Yes, I just had a surgery yesterday. No, it's not a major, life-threatening surgery. The surgery was for removing my four wisdom teeth. Although it was not life-threatening at all, I was so afraid of it thinking about how the surgery would go. What if the anesthesia was too strong I couldn't wake up forever? What if the anesthesia was too weak I woke up in the middle of the surgery? As of those questions were not enough, the surgeon told me this, "It is a rare chance, maybe 1 out of a hundred, but the nerve might get affected that you won't be able to taste or to feel heat in your mouth and on your lips anymore." OMG... Thinking for the worst (yes, I'm a pessimist) I decided to stop all my purchase plan (HYDE, Laruku, and w-inds. DVDs, VAMPS concert ticket) until the surgery was finished.

The day before the surgery, I was too stressed out that I couldn't do anything. I couldn't concentrate on driving and working, and I couldn't eat. I was glad that Ms. J tried to entertain me and make me laugh. After that I was back to normal, and I could work and drive properly again. Thanks Ms. J :) And then at home, I tried to distract my mind by watching TV shows online, and I also got comforted by my family and friends. I'm so grateful for all your care! :D

On the day of the surgery, I would lie if I said I didn't get stressed out again. Especially when I was already in the hospital, waiting for my turn. I actually brought a lot of stuff with me so that I could calm myself, but it didn't work. I just couldn't concentrate on anything. While waiting, there was this guy whose girlfriend was getting the surgery too. The nurse called out to him, saying that the surgery was done. And then he was like, "Oh yeah? Is she out of it? Great, I'm so gonna take pictures of her and take some videos. She didn't want me to do that but I brought a camera anyway." What a jerk... And so I turned to my boyfriend, "If you do that to me, you'll be sorry!" Hahahahaha....

And then my name was called. "Oh dear, the time has come!" I thought. I followed the nurse to the surgery room. Wait, it didn't look like the surgery room showed those movies and TV shows, it looked like a normal dentist room. Then the nurse asked if I followed their instructions (not eating and drinking 8 hours before) and if I had understood the risks that could happen. I said yes and signed a paper that basically said I understood the risks and would not be able to sue the surgeon if anything went wrong. Then the nurse stuck two cables on my chest, one on my stomach, and another one on my left forefinger. The monitor started displaying my heartbeat. I thought, "Oh my gosh, this is a real surgery!!!" and I got even more scared. The monitor showed that my heartbeat went faster and faster. Hahaha...

Then the surgeon came in and saw my heartbeat on the monitor. "Are you okay?" he said. "Yes, I'm just a little scared." He answered again, "That's normal. Now, let's get started." He went on to put the IV drip on my right arm. It stung a bit, but I didn't care as long as I would be safe. He said, "Ok, this is the last hard part." I saw him bringing a injection needle and I knew right away it must be the anesthesia. I asked him nervously, "Is it gonna hurt?" "No, I'm just gonna put it on the IV cable." I saw him injecting it into the IV cable, and put the injection needle back on the table beside him. I thought to myself, "Wait a minute, he's done putting the anesthesia on me. How come I am still awake!?"

That's the last thing I could remember. Apparently as soon as I said that on my mind, I was out right away xD The next thing I knew, I was awake. I didn't know if they woke me up or not, I just knew that I was awake. But maybe I was still under the anesthetic influence, I couldn't walk or stand properly. They put me on a wheelchair and brought me to my boyfriend. After that everything became blurry, I'm not sure which one is the reality and which one is just a dream. There was a conversation going on between the nurse and me (maybe, maybe not, since I was half awake). I decided to text message my mom and Ms. J to let them know that everything was fine. But then again, I couldn't remember what I typed at all.

When I got home, I regained 100% my consciousness. The local anesthesia also went away, and now I felt pain all over in my mouth, on my jaws, and on my teeth. It hurt if I open my mouth so it became a little hard to eat and speak. Even so, at least I'm still alive :D And all those worries never happened, I can still taste and feel the heat. The only thing left is to recover slowly. Once more, I'd like to thank everyone for the support!