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Sunday, October 2, 2011

Confession Time

I was having this crazy dream involving a fantasy love quest between Phoebe from Friends and Elliot from Law and Order SVU. Just when the two heroes were about to embrace in a kiss that can only be obtained when an epic quest has been won (yes, even my dreams are nerdy), my eyes just opened. I wasn't tired...nor was I concerned how my dream was going to end. I looked at the clock..it was 10am. "Reconciliation meeting!" I yelled to myself. There was no use telling Josh..he was in a coma like REM sleep pattern. I could take a bull horn right to his face and yell "WAKE UP" and he still would barely budge. Some people refer to excellent sleep as "sleeping like a baby". This makes no sense..babies don't sleep well. They crap in their pants, the startle in their sleep and the wake up every few hours. The expression should be changed to "sleeping like Josh" which would make perfect sense.

For the world of un-Catholics, Reconciliation is the processes of telling your sins to a priest who is actually acting like an agent of God, with the understanding that they will be forgiven. It is a formal "getting something off your chest". I used to think of it like the "Wizard of Oz". God was the great Oz and the priest was the man behind the curtain. When I first had my first Reconciliation, I felt like Dorothy walking up to the Great Oz saying she just wanted to go back to Kansas. In my heart it made sense to get my sins out in the open to be forgiven..buy my mind just couldn't grasp the idea of telling my secrets to a stranger. Even though this stranger took an official oath not to tell anyone else my sins, I was still a little uneasy about this. They said they had "heard it all" and that they weren't going to judge us...I still felt like (in my eight year old mind) once they heard my sin they weren't going to be able to refrain from gasps and eventually telling my parents. After all..I had to be the only kid who had ever swiped a little candy from the drug store.....

Today when I sat in the meeting, I listened to the priest and the Religious Ed director discuss Reconciliation (aka confession)..I couldn't help but wonder how my little Olivia would react. Would she tell her sins? all of them? What sins would she confess? Would she reveal to the priest where my shoelaces were? Could I bribe him to tell me? I remember Layla having this same experience the year prior. On our way home, Layla leaned over to me and told me her sin...just like that. When I confronted Liv after the meeting..I told her what she should expect. "Are you nervous? " I asked. "Not really" she replied. "Do you have an idea what sin you are going to say?" I asked, trying not to pry but trying a bit. " I don't know, I have a LOT of sins" Liv said.

Aside from the meeting at church, I had very little to do today. I was hoping to meet up with a good friend who was in town for the day and possibly a trip to Barnes and Noble to find books on Photoshop and writing CSS. I didn't feel like getting too dressed up. I was working on my Lucky article for a good part of the day..so I needed to dress up a little...AKA not wear sweats. So I threw on a Tshirt and a 1) nice sweater for church then a 2) relaxed sweater for home. I choose a brighter shirt in a Magenta to brighten me up on this dreary fall day. The most important part of my outfit was showing off my new Seychelles. I was mostly minimal with a pop of character..including a chunky necklace and one of my Mom's old scarves tied around my head. Simple with character..that is me in a nutshell.

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I am a busy mother of four who loves to write. The Pursuit is exactly that, a journey. It is failure, self discovery, humor and all the wonderful things that make me human. I can't promise perfection but I hope you will join me on this adventure.