Tila Tequila: Still one crazy ass loser!

Tila Tequila: Still one crazy ass loser!

Tila Tequila: Still one crazy ass loser!

December 9, 2013JEREMY FEIST

When we last left Tila Tequila — actually, I don’t really care where we left Tila Tequila. Anyway, Tila must have realized that no one has talked about how crazy she was in over a year so she decided to try and blame Paul Walker‘s death on the Illuminati using her Facebook page…

I know who killed Elisa Lam. The Mysterious Video of the Girl in Elevator who ended up “mysteriously dead” at the bottom of a closed off water tank. – I believe I am the only person on this entire planet who knows what happened. I knew it the first time news of the strange video started circulating the internet weeks ago. I have just kept my mouth shut because there is a lot more to it and of course…. cases like this.. I just did not want to draw any attention to myself but I know exactly why they did it and yes it was indeed a ritualistic murder. Just like Paul Walker’s. However, for Lam’s case I have so much detail that it may blow your mind. I know it blew my mind and that’s why I was debating on weather or not I should blog about it as I did not want to have anything to do with it… except for the fact that this ritual murder was directly linked to my ritual murder last year….. So… kinda makes it hard for me to talk about, but …….

By now you must be wondering, “Gosh, that sure sounds crazy, but how can we make this even MORE crazy?” The answer is Hitler. She’s comparing herself to Hitler and trying to convince everyone that Nazis weren’t all that bad. We try to cover up our swearing here on PopBytes, but OH MY FUCK.

Let me tell you all a very bittersweet story. Let’s just call it: “Karma” – So once upon a time in a land far away there was a special and sweet kid who had a dream to become a painter. He was a brilliant artist and was ahead of his time. He had hopes, and dreams just like we all do. Unfortunately, the art schools did not feel the same as he and they rejected him. Fast forward a few years later he was roughed up and bullied on top of that by the same people he once loved. His Name was Hitler. Then fast forward a few generations, there was once upon a time a young lady who also had the same hopes and dreams as Hitler did. She probably loved the Jews as much as they hated her. She still loved them. As a matter of fact, the majority of her friends were Jewish. She loved them so much and just wanted to be accepted by them that she even tried to convert to Judaism, but no. It was still not good enough for them. They mocked her, rejected her and laughed at her through and through when all she ever did was show them her love. Her name was Tila Tequila. –

OH GAWD. Well, it couldn’t possibly get any crazier than this, right? It’s not like she made a song about how much she hates Jewish people and then further compares herself to Hitler? Well.

So if I understand this correctly, Tila couldn’t get famous because she wasn’t talented, so then she turned into a huge liar. And when she couldn’t become famous by being a huge liar, she figured she’d become a Nazi? I guess what I’m trying to say here is that this is what happens when your only goal in life is to be famous: You turn into Tila Tequila.

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JEREMY FEIST

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.