It's been bothering me lately that my girlfriend keeps liking my best (guy) friend's posts on Instagram. I know this kind of thing boosts-ego on people. I have a feeling my guy friend thinks that she likes him; maybe she does, I really don't know. It bothers me so much that when he visits (he moved to SF from Orange County), I make sure she's not around when I'm hanging out with him. I don't want them to talk or cross-paths. They've only met once, through me of course, and he added her on Instagram and so she accepted. I love her and I'm trying my best to trust and not let fear control me. Thank you for your help.

Insecure Best Friend

Dear Insecure,

Jealousy is a dangerous thing.

You need to ask yourself why you feel so insecure. If he's your best friend, then wouldn't you trust that he wouldn't intentionally flirt with your girlfriend? And if you love your girlfriend, then why do you think she would cheat on you?

Perhaps you don't really think that your girlfriend loves you... or maybe you think your best friend is not loyal. If either of those scenarios is possible, then you need to fix the root of those issues between you and your girlfriend (or you and your best friend), rather than stressing out about Instagram. I'm not diminishing your insecurity over Instagram; in fact, I get a lot of letters about people who get upset over behavior on Instagram and FB. I'm just saying that social media is an easy blame magnet -- but really, the root of the issue is something more emotional.

Try talking it out.
Let me know it goes -- xo,
Natalise

p.s. Listen to Miley Cyrus' new song "Wrecking Ball" -- don't let insecurity be your wrecking ball. Here's the lyric video so you don't get distracted from the meaning of the song...

p.p.s. This quote on the right offers a more romantic twist on jealousy. --> OK

You can be jealous of the wind, not the attention your best friend gets from your girlfriend... it means something else is wrong!