My husband is a slob and I'm sick of it- Rant

Keep in mind that this is not the "typical" male slobbishness that most women talk about.

He leaves his clothes on the living room floor. He doesn't clean up after himself when he shaves or cuts his hair so my bathroom is constantly covered in hair.

He leaves food encrusted dishes all over the house. We have ants and mice that were here before we moved in, but they certainly aren't going anywhere. He throws his trash on the floor next to the can if it's full (and the garbage is one of the only two "chores" I ask of him). We have one overflowing can of trash that's been sitting there for four days.

Last night, I asked him to put the baby to bed (because I was cleaning and busy). He did. In dirty, formula-crusted jammies and a soggy diaper. I had to wake her up and change her at midnight (When I finally got to go to bed.).

To top everything off, he said he was going to do a sink-load of dishes (The other chore I ask of him.). Instead, he filled the sink with water and dirty dishes and left them there "to soak". Well, the dog threw up in his e-collar (the cone). He took the dirty collar, tossed in it the sink and left it there with the dishes. I was unaware of this (as it was in the bottom of the sink).

So this morning, I am left having to dig through a congealed sinkload of dirty dishes and dog vomit so that I can drain the sink and wash bottles.

I am at my wit's end. I literally cannot keep up with housework because he makes so much more for me to do! I have a 3-year-old as well and she's picking up on his habits!

When I try to talk to him, he just brushes me off or gets mad and points out that I'm not a good housekeeper anyway (Hello?! It's too much for one!).

Comments (13)

Oh my! I literally know exactly what you're going through. My husband and I are working currently through this problem. I know that he will never be as "organized" or "neat" as I would prefer. (Not that I'm all that neat.) We have argued more about housework that probably anything else in our marriage.

I've found that nagging does absolutely not good. It leaves him feeling like a child rather than my husband and makes him really angry. The only thing that has helped was sharing this blog post and having a very calm discussion with him. Namely, I told him that I feel disrespected and like my time/effort doesn't matter when he either doesn't pick up after himself or help me around the house. Yes... I've had to have that conversation with a few times but I always try to do it when I'm calm rather than when I've just been on a cleaning rampage and am royally pissed off.

On another note... I love the blog that I linked above. Great ideas from someone who is a slob. And we started our own "dejunkification" process last fall. It's slow going and we still have a long ways to go but it's helped a lot. (I blog about it off and on too.)

I know exactly how you feel and am at a loss of what to do. I almost don't want to clean up because I spend all this time cleaning up the table and picking up the dishes all over the house and cleaning the dishes and the kitchen only to wake up the next day and have the pile started again. The clothes never make it in the hamper, he cooks and leaves a huge mess, the dishes never make it to the dishwasher and rarely the kitchen I feel like his stuff is EVERYWHERE no matter how often I pick it up. We have a baby coming in a couple of months and I worry whats going to be left on the floor for baby to swallow.

Yes, my DH also leaves dirty clothes, trash, and dishes all over the house along with his doctor pepper cans and water bottles. Having a new baby in the house makes cleaning extra difficult. If I get laundry clean and in the basket, I'm proud of myself. Unfortunately, DH picks out a shirt to wear from the basket and lets the other clean clothes fall on the floor without picking them up. His chores are the trash as well, which I have to help him with and taking care of the yard, which only gets done partially. Dead and overgrown plants never get touched. He mowed over a few of the ones that were actually doing well.

DH used to do dishes, but he never did them well. Dried food spots were always left on the dishes. And when he did them, instead of filling up the sink with soapy water, he would just let the water run full blast until he was done. Talk about adding to an already high water bill.

And yes, mine complains about my cleaning habits as well.

Then instead of helping me clean the bathroom. He instead goes and uses DS/guest bathroom and gets that dirty so that my cleaning load is doubled.

The good news is that DH doesn't leave the baby in dirty clothes and dirty diapers. A nasty diaper rash caused by overly scented wipes his first couple of weeks put a quick stop to the dirty diaper problem.

Sometimes, my DH does his own laundry, but then leaves it in the basket or the floor (which hasn't been swept in some time due to prioritization of baby and other chores) and sometimes he'll cook and makes a nice mess in the process.

So long story short, you're not completely alone with the dear dirty husband problem. But if we didn't have our DDH's, what would we do with ourselves. My DDH is an answer to prayer for a spouse and a best friend. So whenever I get upset, I think of the day when he's no longer around and how lonely I will be without him.

--

An amateur at many things, but still willing to try and willing to share.

:) TY Mammas for reminding me that mess and all there is so much DH is and does that is awesome. He's messy and a big slob but he's also loving and caring and a strong man of God. :) and he does the laundry, because he wont let me carry the clothes up and down the stairs. LOL now sometimes he has to do like 5 loads because of how long it took him to get to it but at least he does it :)

my husband works and i take care of the housework and the kids .. sometimes he works two or even three jobs.. that being said he does not do HALF the stuff your husband does. so if your husband says you arent a good housekeeper id say dont listen to him! you arent asking him to scrub the floor- you are asking him to have common decency and for example throw his clothes in the hamper (for goodness sake). My husband takes the trash out when he leaves for work. how hard is that? but something ive learned (as i have my issues with hubby on other things- his smoking 'once in awhile' for a year really bothered me and we had gotten into blowout fights that led nowhere.. i repeneted and gave it to God and now Gods giving him dreams about the matter- yay God!) is that fighting doesnt work as much as prayer. i know this soudns cheesey, but God has your back and if you try to give it to Him, He will begin to convict your husband. Like y mom always says, "you cant be the Holy Spirit to your hubsand; only the Holy Spirit can convict in ways you cant." Good luck sister!!

I've seen a suggestion before that mom/housekeeper/chef go on vacation for a weekend so dad/slacker/lazybutt can figure out just how much work she does & she'll return to a super-appreciative husband.

Wouldn't work with my DH. I'd return to a pile of pizza boxes on the kitchen counter, boys who hadn't been bathed the entire time, and toys in every conceivable part of the house. He's not quite as bad as your DH, but he's got his moments. And I honestly think he's oblivious to it! Maybe he thinks fairies sneak into our house at night to keep house? Magic?

I also wanted to say... I would take pretty big issue with him putting your LO to bed in a wet/dirty diaper. Not so much for the clean-up factor that you had to go through -- though that's frustrating too -- but for health reasons. A simple diaper rashes can start that way and develop into a lot worse things. We've dealt with MRSA with our son -- a resistant form of staph that is hell. While the infectious disease doctors said there's nothing we did wrong for him to have developed it we take any and every random bump or rash very seriously. In an infant/toddler the most common place for staph to develop is the diaper area. It's one area my husband is very, VERY conscientious about because we HATE dealing with it.

:) we were watching Dr. Phil and my DH brought up how he thinks he does helping around the house. I was honest and at first he got a bit defensive and mad, then he asked what I would want him to do daily and I said simply, put the clothes in the hamper when you take them off, the dishes in the sink or dishwasher, the trash in the trash can, and if you cook after I'm in bed please put the left overs away, the pots and pans in water to soak and at least take a clorox wipe and wipe the stove down because its harder to get the grease and oil out the next day. He said he would try to be more aware and to do better. My husband is very ADD so I only ask that he at least tries to remember. Anyway I thought it was a God thing that he brought it up now and we were able to have a good calm discussion about it.

My husband also has ADD. He's told me that part of why he doesn't help as much as he probably should is that when he doesn't see the mess right in front of him it's like it doesn't exist. I read something similar in a book on ADD in adults as well.