Commentary on the Seventh Decade

Keeping a low profile

I had always heard that after a certain age women were invisible, even the most attractive ones. It seemed a sad state of affairs and, even more so, when it began to happen to me. Yet, there is an up-side. Since you don’t attract a lot of attention, you are in the perfect position to observe, to watch, to bide your time, to breast your cards. You can people watch with impunity. And since you travel below many people’s radar, your achievements seem quite remarkable when they occur since expectations are so low. I recall a bumper sticker I had years ago that announced: “When all else fails, lower your expectations.” Part of being invisible and being seen as asexual (whether you like it or not) gives you the freedom to have friendships with men, especially young men, young enough to be your sons. Of course, you also have to deal with policemen, doctors, and bosses who also seem young enough to be your sons. But, somehow it isn’t an uncomfortable feeling. I like the idea that these folks know cutting edge technology, have the energy and stamina that I lack, and have, for the most part, something to say or do that contributes to my store of knowledge or feeling of safety. I may be invisible to some but I feel more expansive than I did when I was young, able to hear, and think, and react in more complex ways.