Forgive me, but some of us lesser-evolved creatures remain befuddled about the discombobulated Main-University intersection.

Don’t get me wrong. I realize that in some quarters — those where locomotion involving anything but pedal and foot power is seen as a brutish kick in Mother Nature’s groin — the makeover gleams as a utopian centerpiece. Pedestrians thereabouts (if you can find any when Bradley University is not in session) must be celebrating the massive slash in vehicular traffic. Why, I can almost see them gleefully skipping hither and yon. Their women, too.

But, and please forgive my Neanderthal leanings, here’s the thing about that intersection, especially Main Street:

IT’S MAIN STREET. Like, the main street. The main drag. The thing where, you know, cars go.

I keep hearing from people who say they now avoid that intersection completely. And the city must be happy about that. The goal — via a raised intersection, expanded crosswalks and fewer traffic lanes — is to reduce traffic flow by 35 percent, thereby making the area more pedestrian-friendly.

In part, I get that. I teach at Bradley, and I’ve opened more than a few lectures by railing over the careless, Frogger-like attitudes of many students, including whichever clueless ones I almost ran over just before class. As with most of what I say, I’m sure they ignored me.

Still, I can see the value in, say, raising the intersection to slow down traffic. Granted, with the rattletrap jalopies I’ve historically driven, I’ll attack any road ramp like I’m driving the General Lee. But going airborne isn’t for everyone, so I’m sure most normal motorist would instead slow down. Huzzah for you responsible citizens.

But one lane? It’s like shoving 10 pounds of sausage into a 2-pound tube. You ever try that? Me neither. But I bet it’s messy and frustrating, sort of like the massive back-ups stemming from Main and University streets.

This week, the Peoria newspaper of record ran a headline that in part said, “New Main-University intersection draws few complaints from public safety officials.” Well, sure. I’d guess they also have few complaints about arresting people over Twitter accounts. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t complaints outside City Hall, such as those flooding my in-box since the intersection reopened.

One loyal reader wrote, “I just wanted to know if you are doing an article on the Main and University Street disaster. Someone has to, and it might as well be you.”

Page 2 of 2 - With support like that, how can I resist? Anyway, she continued, “I am never using that street again for obvious reasons. One lane each way? What genius engineer thought of this?”

Another reader echoed that sentiment: “Now I’m no traffic engineer, but how does reducing the number of lanes at a busy intersection make any (gosh-darn) sense?”

Well, it makes perfect sense to some folk, such as a West Bluff resident who penned a letter to the Opinion page. In part, he sniffed, “I realize that the many drivers who have used Main and University as a throughway won’t be happy that their speedway has gone away, but I’m sure they will soon find another route that will allow them to drive faster than they currently can in the West Bluff. Meanwhile, Main Street is open for living and working. Things here are now slower, better and safer.”

Wow. Far be it from me to look askance at the notion of the West Bluff suddenly transformed into a latter-day Promised Land. But if less outside traffic were the hallmarks of progress, the South End would’ve been hailed as Shangri-La a couple of decades ago.

This week’s Journal Star story quoted one Main Street proprietor as seeing an influx of business. OK. And maybe a 35-percent reduction in traffic will result in a business increase of 35 percent — heck, make it 135 percent, if you want — all over the area. Perhaps you envision an army of pedestrian diners and shoppers (the latter clutching reusable, eco-friendly totes, of course), suddenly moved toward mass commerce.

Then again, maybe as drivers get sick of dealing with the intersection, they won’t bother going there. Maybe as Main Street sprouts new boutiques and shops, the decrease of pass-through traffic means far less exposure — and far fewer customers. And when it’s a ghost town commercially, all those self-satisfied pedestrians will have even less traffic to worry about.

But maybe I’m wrong.

Meanwhile, just one more question:

In East Peoria, near all that new commercial development, how many lanes are on Main Street?

PHIL LUCIANO is a Journal Star columnist. He can be reached at pluciano@pjstar.com, facebook.com/philluciano, 686-3155 or (800) 225- 5757, Ext. 3155. Follow him on Twitter @LucianoPhil.