Saturday, May 5, 2018

Holiday Flix: El Santo vs. The Martians

Viva El Santo! Today's Film is El Santo vs. The Martians, a 1967 B-Movie with the legendary Wrestler as the Lead. The premise is pretty simple- Martians show up to conquer us and El Santo fights them. I guess Lou Thesz was busy. Side-note: if you don't know anything about Pro-Wrestling, prepare to use Google a lot during this. This is not my first El Santo Film, so I pretty much know what to expect. He always dresses in his gear, talks about justice and rolls around with large, sweaty men. They are what they are. The Film is full of what you expect and a little more. There's not much 'meat on the bone' here, but I can have some fun with this. To see the Mexican Rikidozan (see what I said earlier!) in action against the most dangerous Spacemen until Aerostar, read on...

Martians arrive on Earth after observing us. Just like Ed Wood's Aliens, they don't like us and our bombs.

Unlike those Aliens, they 'lamp-shade' that the Film is just in Spanish now, since...Mexico.

Just like Zod and so many other Aliens would do in the future, they appear on TV and lay out their demands. They...actually aren't that bad. I mean, we'd be conquered, but...yea?

When nobody believes them, they show up at an event and vaporize people via a decent effect.

Since this isn't America, they actually kill some kids and nothing is done to undo this!

El Santo just happens to be there and he fights the Alien, proving our worth. The man was 50 at this point, but still could go.

For no clear reason, the Martians change their looks and their names. This...has almost no payoff.

The Martians try many tricks to get Santo and overall control. One of them involves mind-controlling his sparring partners. LOL Santo Wins.

The lead Scientist discovers that they are weak to fire, since they can hardly breathe on Earth. This also has almost no payoff.

After impersonating a Wrestler to battle Santo, they try one last thing. It all boils down to a Debate!

No, just kidding. More Wrestling.

He defeats the Aliens on their ship and goes to destroy it (and them). The Scientist asks him to leave the Ship for study, but he unilaterally decides that we aren't ready for it.

So I can just blame anyone that dies of Cancer on you then? The End.

Basic, but fun stuff. El Santo Movies aren't exactly high-art. They are pretty by-the-numbers Action Movies that tend to drift into Sci-Fi (like this or Mystery in Bermuda) or Horror (like when he fought Dracula). Santo has a natural screen presence, but he never plays anything other than himself. He has less range than a broken slingshot! To be fair, he also never really tried either, so who knows? As funny as the premise is, it still boils down to lots of Old-School Wrestling. You get body slams, snapmares, knee lifts and the like. If you're into that stuff, this one is a must-see. If you aren't, then, well, you may be disappointed a bit. The Martians have silly technology and teleport everywhere, so there is still that. It is silly and strange, but a tad redundant. On the plus side, it features Aliens wearing wigs about as realistic as the one from Samurai Cop...

Next time, international fun from the 1970s. It sure will be...greasy. Stay tuned...