Adult Female

Just watched this video from ITG on, of all things, how to wash your face.

At the risk of losing all my friends/ future beauty advice credibility, I will admit that I only started regularly (and by regularly, I mean ever) washing my face as of maybe…. yikes… 3 or 4 years ago. Yeah. Explains a lot about a lot. Now, I’m kind of addicted to skincare and I truly can’t fall asleep without washing my face, brushing my teeth (if this one sounds like a given, you clearly didn’t know me as a child…or in high school), taking my vitamins and moisturizing the heck out of my face.

So, color me shocked after I watched this video and realized that I’m still doing everything wrong when it comes to skin.

Things I’m thinking while watching this video:

ok, so she’s French. My immediate reaction to being around anyone who is French is to admit my own bridge trollness. Accept it and move on, you American scum.

I need a white jumpsuit.

My body would look like a full roll of toilet paper in that white jumpsuit.

“This seems simple, but is not.” She knows her audience. And I already can feel myself failing at this before I even begin.

“Termal” water = Thermal water = Apparently ESSENTIAL

Her face/ the shake of her chin when she says “Eet’s a clean wawta” screams “THE FACT THAT YOU DON’T KNOW MEANS IT’S TOO LATE.”

She seems like the kind of person that Harry Styles would date

She seems like the kind of person that Harry Styles would write a song about where-in there’s a line that talks about how beautiful she is when she cries.

Penetrate. Lol.

I never do the neck…………

I’ve never spent this much time touching my own face. Or swimming.

(Googles ‘tepid’)

On dabbing: So, it’s bad when I push the washcloth against the under part of my eyes and drag it across my face with all of my own strength to get the mascara off?

So if my skin is like silk… but in real life, I never buy silk things bc I’m afraid I’ll ruin them… am I screwed?

I’m calling bull shit on that tissue paper part. There’s no way that your face isn’t covered in little tiny paper particles after that step.

(Amazon Prime searches ‘termal water’)

BUT WHAT ACTUALLY IS TONER?

Penetration. Lol.

I’m sorry but how is she literally one thousand times more beautiful after taking all of her makeup off? You’re trying to tell me that not all women look like a wet pre-me baby without four layers of makeup on at all times? Show me the receipts.

That is crazy that after all that, she STILL gets visible dirt off those pads. Our faces are disgusting.

Going to try this whole process tonight and maaayybe tomorrow night and then probably forget all about it and never do it again. But see #1: American Trash Bridge Troll. It’s what I know.