Our lager, Which art in barrels, Hallowed be thy drink, Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk), At home as I am in the tavern. Give us this day our foamy head, And forgive us our spillages, As we forgive those who spill against us, and lead us not to incarceration, But deliver us from hangovers, For thine is the beer, The bitter and the lager, Forever and ever, Barmen.

Beer and Cheese Poem

I Like Cheese And I Like Beer

I like Lager and Gruyere

I like Cheddar, I like Ale

I like Stout and Wensleydale

I like Gouda, I like Stella

I like Beck's with Mozarella

I like Edam, I like Fosters

I like Grolsch with Double Gloucester

I like Boursin, I like Carlsberg,

I like Newkie Brown and Jarlsberg

I don't like Quorn or Herbal Teas -

I Like Beer And I Like Cheese!

Beer and Cheese Poem

American addendum:

Starr Hill Pale and Humboldt Fog,

Great Hill Blue and Flying Dog

Are hard to find, but worth the graft-

It isn't all Bud Lite and Kraft.Starr Hill Pale and Humboldt Fog,

Wigan Addendum: by Dave White:

Abbot Ale and Dairylea,

Emmenthal and Pedigree;

I like RedLeicester with Thwaites Throughbred.

I like a bottle of Old Tom with a wedge of stilton

Drinking Wisdom

"The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid." Richard Braunstein

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up . . . reading." Henny Youngman

"In the Bowling Alley of Tomorrow, there will even be machines that wear rental shoes and throw the ball for you. Your sole function will be to drink beer." Dave Barry

"Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth." George Burns

"Do not allow children to mix drinks. It is unseemly and they use too much vermouth." Steve Allen

"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with fools." Ernest Hemmingway

"If your doctor warns that you have to watch your drinking, find a bar with a mirror." John Mooney

"I can't die until the government finds a safe place to bury my liver." Phil Harris

"Everybody should believe in something -- I believe I'll have another drink." Unknown

"Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say, "I'm thirsty, not dirty". Joe Lewis

"I told the stewardess liquor for three." - "Who are the other two? - "Oh, there are no other two." Sean Connery (as James Bond)

? ? ? Did you know ? ? ?

In their efforts to regulate beer quality, the ancient Babylonians, who were among history's earliest brewers, decreed that any commercial beer maker who sold unfit beer would be drowned in his/her own libation.

Bottle caps, or "crowns," were invented in Baltimore in 1892 by William Painter. Painter proved his invention's worth when he convinced a local brewer to ship a few hundred cases of beer to South America and back and they returned without a leak.

An 18-year study by the National Institute on Aging found that 50-plus men who consumed a drink a day during middle age scored significantly better on cognitive tests later in life than did non-drinkers.

In ancient Babylon, women brewers also assumed the role of temple priestesses. The goddess Siris was the patron of beer.

On October 17 of 1814, a rupture in a brewery tank containing 3,500 barrels of beer caused a flood of fatal proportions in the London parish of St. Giles. The wave of beer swept victims off their feet, dashed them against walls, and buried them under debris. Two houses were demolished in the sea of beer suddenly loosed upon town, and nine people lost their lives in the flood of suds.

According to a diary entry from a passenger on the Mayflower, the pilgrims made their landing at Plymouth Rock, rather than continue to their destination in Virginia, due to lack of beer.

Before thermometers were invented, brewers would dip a thumb or finger into the mix to find the right temperature for adding yeast. Too cold, and the yeast wouldn't grow. Too hot, and the yeast would die. This thumb in the beer is where "rule of thumb" comes from.

After consuming a bucket or two of vibrant brew they called aul, or ale, the Vikings would head fearlessly into battle, often without armour or even shirts. In fact, "berserk" means "bare shirt" in Norse, and eventually took on the meaning of their wild battles.

A beer is NOT just a beer. All told, there are 27 different styles of beer, with a further breakdown of 49 sub styles.

Beer, as all alcoholic drinks, is made by fermentation caused by bacteria feeding on the yeast cells, then defecating. This bacterial excrement is called alcohol.

The worlds strongest beer is 'Dogfish Head’ World Wide Stout, which has reached 22% alcohol by volume

Modern breathalyzers work on a clever electrochemical principle. The subject's breath is passed over a platinum electrode, which causes the alcohol to bind with oxygen, forming acetic acid. In the process it loses two electrons, a process that sets up a current in a wire connected to the electrode. The higher the concentration of alcohol in the breath, the greater the electrical current, which can be read by a simple meter to indicate intoxication levels.

Attila the Hun was suspected of suffocating from a bloody nose after passing out from alcohol at his 'bachelor party'.

It is always helpful to have a law that clearly defines when a person is legally intoxicated. In Kentucky, anyone who has been drinking is considered sober until he or she cannot hold onto the ground.

The term 'toddlers' originated in England. There were impurities in the drinking water that disallowed the water to be used for drinking. A common alternative drink was beer (it was cheep, plentiful and the water used to make it was treated during the initial boiling during brewing). Toddlers, just weaning off of mothers milk were unaccustomed to the effects of beer. This coupled with the fact that they were just learning how to walk really made them toddle.

After consuming a bucket or two of vibrant brew they called aul, or ale, the Vikings would head fearlessly into battle often without armor or even shirts. In fact, the term "berserk" means "bare shirt" in Norse, and eventually took on the meaning of their wild battles.

In the Middle Ages, "nunchion" was the word for liquid lunches. It was a combination of the words "noon scheken", or noon drinking. In those days, a large chunk of bread was called lunch. So if you ate bread with your nunchion, you had what we today still call a luncheon.