Les Dennis, the music systems of the mid-90s and a takeaway pizza? No wonder Gail couldn’t resist, says our Corriespondent

Which is a good job because if he’d been asking Gail about her taste in blokes, and she’d started explaining how sometimes
she goes for serial killers, but she is also partial to the odd posh conman, he never would have made it home in time for his curfew.

If you haven’t seen these episodes yet, I warn you: keep a cushion handy

Gail and Michael-played-by-Les-Dennis had a pizza, a wine and a brief chat about rum and raisin v vanilla which may have contained some double entendres, but I was distracted by Gail doing her coy face so am not entirely sure.

Michael-played-by-Les-Dennis cranked out some romantic tunes from a ghetto blaster I think I took to Zante in 1999, Les did another one of his “if someone had told me a few months ago” speeches and the flirtation was complete: Gail was leaning in for a back garden snog with the fella who nicked her telly.

Nick’s timing is very unfortunate

Unfortunately Nick was on his way over right at that very second to apologise for the earlier incident which had only been stopped by the words no violent thug wants to hear mid-showdown (“Nick. There’s a problem with the card machine”) and spotted his mum in the garden mid-snog.

Nick wasn’t so happy and he took that out on Michael-played-by-Les-Dennis’s new ice-cream van, which was very
short-sighted of him because much as he doesn’t like his mum’s new bloke, he could have got a lot of free 99s out of that situation; potentially even the odd screwball.

Of course Nick chose the weapon that only a man who commits his offences in Kurt Geiger shoes and a skinny tie would choose: a few plants from the rockery.

This might have been the most middle class crime in history.

We’re (almost) rid of Dennis - onwards to the next...

Meanwhile down the Street, Rita has finally binned off Dennis, putting us all out of our misery of pretending that he isn’t a cringingly unwatchable actor just because he was in it years ago and that was supposed to make us all go ahhhhh.

Unfortunately we still have to skirt around the issue that world-famous actor Jimi Mistry is more wooden than that fence that Sal and Anna do their fighting over, but hey! One down.

Special Mention Goes To…

Eva nailing some always-relevant-for-Leanne advice for Leanne. “Hun, I think you should have a decaf.”

Steph and Nick. Calling it now, they’ll be snogging over those kalamata olives by Christmas.

Nick telling the furious dieter that he’d rather be on a beach with a beer than dealing with their steak orders. Don’t anger very hungry people Nick, it’s even more stupid than angering David.

Nick and Leanne at mediation. I’m concerned that with all that chat about Leanne being a prostitute and Nick’s brother trying to kill him, that no-one actually remembered to pay the poor guy?