Duct tape, two loaded guns, a cross-country journey in a dilapidated car; yep, spring is in the air. And that's when a young man's fancy turns to thoughts of love, and Shawn Johnson.

Our Olympic hero, toiling on the set of Dancing With The Stars (don't pretend you're not watching), was surprised to learn that one Robert O'Ryan, 34, was stopped by security and subsequently arrested by police after he jumped a fence at ABC Studios. He said that he wanted to meet Johnson, who was taping the show there, and that the two were meant to have children together.

"He believes (Johnson) is speaking to him personally through the television and via ESP and that he will be with her no matter what," Johnson's court papers state.

Just like me and Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.

Advertisement

This love story ends the way that most do: With the girl's mother filing a restraining order, and the suitor being held on $35,000 bail on suspicion of carrying a loaded firearm in public. Just like in fine literature.