NEW YORK—According to sources throughout the commercial aviation sector, the nation’s airlines will begin installing awkwardly placed bumps in every airplane seatback this week because it reportedly brings great pleasure to them (www.theonion.com) 更多...

The joke does have an important point, though. It's simply an exaggeration of actual practices. It's not so far from charging extra for aisle or window seats, charging extra for being able to board just marginally sooner than the other passengers, and charging extra for water and basic courtesy items. This model of finding ways to charge customers extra for standard expectations is a negative quality system. That is, the process of continuous improvement in customer satisfaction has been replaced with the ultimate quest to find extract money. Eventually, the extraction of money will lead to a collapse within the system because it does not serve the customers.

this explains both why cattle class is getting worse (to push people into the higher-priced classes) and the sudden proliferation of Economy Plus, Economy Minus, Economy Business classes: it's plain old salami tactics--you can upsell a lot more if a plane has 5-6 subtly-graded categories of seat

Vince, it's better not to respond to these messages. Sooner or later they will be deleted, and then your answer looks like an attack on the preceding message. You can help accelerate the elimination of the offending message by first down voting it and then clicking on the report button underneath it.

My favorite Onion airline story was about cabin pressurization only being free for first class, and that economy had to pay extra if they wanted air. The same article mentioned that some airlines were going to stop using the wheels for landings on flights less than 1 hour. It was hilarious.

I've been on a flight where during the safety briefing the flight attendant said "In the event of a depressurization, 4 designer oxygen masks will drop in front of you ... Even if the bag does not inflate, we guarantee you are reviving oxygen, though it would help if you insert 50 cents for the first 3 minutes and 25 cents for every additional minute". She also made a bunch of other jokes during it to make it entertaining while still getting the required information across. By the way this was on a Southwest airlines B738

Yep Fox has reported some Onion stories as fact. Obama, emails, an "Abortionplex," padded bra ban by muslims. Too many to list. We won't even discuss how many times they switched an R to a D when reporting political scandals lol.

You mean the "Media Matters" with a very leftist agenda and startup was funded by the very leftist George Soros? Initially, he hid his contributions by funneling the money through his group, Open Society Institute. It is unknown how much that was though his total contribution to Soros.org is more than $8 Billion. Then in 2010 he directly contributed $1 Million. He gave $1.8 Million to NPR. He spent $27 Million trying to defeat George Bush in 2004.

Everyone goes on and on about Charles and David Koch but they completely ignore George Soros. Soros has outspent the Koch brothers by three to one in leftist political efforts.

Media Matters? Yeah, I've seen their stuff. It's very well edited for context. They took lessons from George Schultz at MSNBC.

And, Jon Stewart? Seriously??? That's your credible news source? Gosh, what was the name of the network his show was on? Perhaps you can remind me!

Don't challenge me on politics and the Constitution unless you can do better than that. You'll sooner win an argument with a safety inspector for busting DFW Class Bravo with a student certificate.

Seriously guys... all channels report to some political power, whether they are democrats or republicans. And both parties get millions to support their campaigns from various sources and in turn support and get supported by their "own"channels. Don't be like babies, pretending your side is better... And you don't need a "credible source" to understand that all you see on the news has been screened to convince those that don't think.And Ken, if you don't like the sources, don't believe them. Republicans (at least some politicians of theirs to be accurate) still believe that god made Adam and Eva... So, let's not take about who believes the Onion stories when they believe mythological stories as real.To clarify, I'm not American and don't care to take sides about this "who's better", at least to what it has to do with its effect to your internal affairs. By the way, I googled it and apparently, it's Fox Nation that gets more confused by the Onion articles, rather than Fox News instead.Anyhow, keep the discussion on aviation....

Ummm.... George Schultz is a Republican and served in Nixon's & Reagan's Cabinets. Never knew he was on MSNBC. I gotta watch more Fox I suppose.

One thing you have to admire is the flexibility of the Right Wingers. As soon as anything embarrassing happens to the GOP (Palin, Trump, Gohmert, Bush) they all suddenly drop the GOP affiliation and become independents or conservatives. At least till things blow over.

Well, putting the Onion and Fox news aside, the RNC needs some embarrassment this day and time. The others named up here, especially Trump, are saying things that are on the minds of people that may vote this goround that haven't in times past. They need to start listening. Common people are rising to take this country back from the world of Politico.

"will be accompanied by 40 aircraft, 3,000 people, a fleet of cars and 34 warships, according to a string of blow-by-blow news updates. The Press Trust of India quoted an official in the state of Maharashtra pegging the cost at $200 million a day.

Obama's said to have booked the entire Taj Mahal Palace hotel and, according to The Wall Street Journal, Mumbai officials have ordered coconuts plucked from palm trees outside a memorial the president is scheduled to visit to ensure there are no bumps on the noggin. In Delhi, the president's second stop, monkeys have been the subject of a municipal crackdown. "

One more... I've not been a fan of the GOP since they went right along with growing the size of government, including the creation of the TSA. They kept issuing spending bills and pork waste and 43 signed off on it. Debt grew by $5T under Bush and Obama rightfully blasted Bush over it.

Then Obama grew the debt himself by $8T, so far with much more to come before we're rid of him.

I'm doubting you're a pilot so this probably doesn't matter. Obama has grounded more pilots with his constant use of TFRs than Bush ever did. He's caused hundreds of flight instructors to give up their income for the duration of his presence, from a day to more than a week. Obama is no fan of liberty.

I didn't say they were an Obama invention. But they've done more harm to GA under Obama than Bush. Bush spent much of his time in Crawford where the TFR was minimal though still a pain at Waco and TSTC.

Just a trip to Chicago, count the number of airports he affects. Or, when in Houston or Dallas? When he showed up in Austin, he affected five airports. TFRs deny others' liberty. No president's security is more valuable than any American's liberty and certainly their right to pursuit of happiness by way of earning an income. Their political party doesn't matter.

As for Obama's more time in DC... I'm thinking their travel history debunks that one. Then there's the waste like a couple weeks ago when he took AF1 to be on one show and his first windbag took another plane on the same day to the same area to be on another show.

It wasn't meant as insulting. Just an indicator you've been around a while and worked a variety of airframes. I did see balloon. Skipping it was not intended. It's just never been my flavor any more than flying trikes would be.

Yes, I did look but more out of curiosity. You had barely commented here and several times on this site there have been those who were quiet until they suddenly pipe up on some issue.

The most difficult customers I've ever had were those who claimed the most but in reality had the least. One guy had a fresh type rating for a Metroliner with commercial and CFI tickets less than six months old.

His gripe... he did not get the gold sticker to print his name on that Jeppesen used to provide with the master logbooks. He made such a big deal out of it, I not only blew through my profit on the book, I paid the cost to send the sticker to him requiring his personal signature to receive it at the post office.

Not at all. I just looked it up. Many flying heavy metal as long as you have has likely had some other interesting airframe experience. I was curious.

If I were going to "DOX" you, I'd provide the link and/or all the data.

I merely pointed to a couple old airframes I find interesting. The amateurs make a big deal out of a G-V or maybe a G-IV. They wouldn't have a clue the "G-I" had props. With the gear up, they'd probably call it a DC-3.

An airman certificate is a privilege just as is a driver's license. But earning a living is a right. As long as the privilege is in hand, the right to use it for its intended purpose should not be infringed any more than the right to speak out against that VIP TFR.

You fly through MOAs at your own risk. I'm quite familiar with them and teaching students about them. Two things Texas is not short on is MOAs and wind turbines.

At the risk of getting caught up in this, I kinda have to agree on the TFR's as they are a PITA and Texas has plenty of MOA's. That's my story and I'm sticking to it and outa here. Long live The Onion.

I've seen them still more than I've seen them turning. But according to ERCOT (Texas' grid management), the turbines contribute just over 10% to Texas total power usage. But what did it cost to get there?

I don't know where to click "reply" here, but as you all know, there is an admonition on this website that all contributions be about aviation. Good natured humor (in addition to being edifying ) is what makes them fun, and in most of what I've encountered in Squawks, contributors have not taken the bait when someone introduces provocative remarks about politics. This conversation has ceased to be either interesting or amusing, and departed a long way from being about aviation. Politics is as divisive a topic as there is. Can we please just live and let live and leave the political ranting to the damn airways where we all get over-saturated with it anyway?

It seems that everybody has to get on a soapbox now before looking at the source of a news article. The Onion has long been known as a source of total satire and just poking fun at everyday situations anyway, hopefully to get us away from being so dang serious about things and to lighten up just a little. It's a shame that some can't.

Once while on a trip to Mexico we stopped to use the restroom. A kid was stationed at the door charging an entrance fee and offering toilet paper squares at 25 cents each. I hope the airlines don't learn about this!

GroupViva, new airline which is the developer of Ryanair and Grupo, IAMSA, the largest bus company in Mexico. It's been flying in Mexico since 2006 under the name "NivaAerobus. Then there's the sister operation, Viva Columbia wgich started in 2012. Flying A320's.

Airlines install seats with "active pitch" control to automatically lengthen or shorten the spacing between seats. This enables them to pack more passengers into the aircraft. Extra seats pop out of the floor when needed.

Gosh, there sure are enough wadded up panties over this post. Yes, there is a serious side of flying and aviation. Yes, those issues must be discussed. And often you'll see them discussed by the professionals, wishful professionals, wannabe professionals and sometimes even serious pilots. There's also the fun side and some funny sides. Let it all be discussed. Learn something sometimes and other times enjoy a laugh.

April 1st already? How time flies! Actually, I rode on a new A321 last month and was pleasantly surprised. It featured two smaller seatback pockets that allowed for more knee space, even with the seatback in front of me reclined. My flight lasted only three hours but I felt that I could have tolerated a transcon. This was in regular coach, no premium sort of seating.

Actually Ryanair has become much better the recent years. I pay half the other airlines to fly (without checked in luggage) and the main difference is that you have to buy your food and drinks... No obsession with weighing your bag, no boarding like a rugby team on attack, flights generally on time, seats as confortable as in Lufthansa and the staff is nice (although they still sell thoses lottery coupons).If landing was not like throwing a sack of potatoes on the ground, it would be perfect.

Excellent article! Good to see FlightAware readers enjoying a bit of humor and sarcasm once in a while! I've always wondered how sites like The Onion can get away with "quoting" real people in their fake articles (like Jeff Smisek's quotation in this particular article).

a "tongue in cheek" article I presume!!!?? we all know however that airline seats (except the leather ones in frst or business class) are basically cardboard, a piece of an old innerspring mattress for the botton covered with fabric, and a squished couch cushion for the back!

I really don't understand their motivations here...the seats are uncomfortable enough already. Installing bumps is going to cost more money, which cost wll be passed on to passengers, adding to their discomfort. If they really want to make us incomfortable, they should just use all the old tired intolerant bitchy hags for F/As who should have retired years ago. That would add immeasurably to our discomfort.

I agree with Matt. No one is forcing you to read every article or Squawk. If so many of us get a kick out of it (and I don't mean from the kid or guy sitting in the seat behind!) you don't have to rain on our parade.