Snake of Nightmares Opens Door, Flops on Ground like Big Drunk Taffy

Meet Julius. Julius is a female python who lives in your nightmares and also Germany (or, at least, she did when this video was uploaded to the Internet three years ago). In this clip, Julius demonstrates a neat trick she learned, which is how to make sure you never feel safe or protected anywhere again. Prepare yourself for the deafening thud as she does an impression of you leaving da club.

And don't forget to lock your doors tonight.

Julius loves challenges and getting wasted off Washington Apple shots, in that order.