Whew! We made it through the holidays (I hope!). Now it's back to “real life” and dealing with all the stuff we put on hold. Is clearing your clutter on your list of things to do in the new year?

You didn't clear your clutter last year, despite your fervent intentions and repeated promises to yourself that you would somehow make your home more livable. You may have thought about having friends or family over during the holidays but never got your clutter cleared enough to allow anyone in.

So now you’re faced with the same cluttered rooms, the inability to use your home as it was intended, and that strange combination of despair and comfort you get when you behold your cluttered home.

Does this look at all familiar? ​

Now it's a new year, and you might be vowing to yourself that you WILL clean this clutter. But you have all year to do it, so you don't have to start right this minute, do you?

Well, yes you do. And I'll tell you why (and how).

Why: Perhaps the most insidious and powerful reason folks who hoard or have extreme clutter problems don't ever seem to clear their clutter is that it's painful. It's as simple as that, whatever the underlying reasons: whether your attachment to the clutter is caused by trauma, loss, the feeling of security you get in your “cave,” your belief that you will use these items “one day,” you’re “rescuing” valuable items from being wasted, you can’t decide what’s valuable or not, or any of the other reasons folks accumulate a hoard of clutter. Facing, accepting, and changing our relationship with our clutter HURTS. It's scary and often paralyzing.

Try this. Walk (or climb) into an area of your home that you haven't been able to use for awhile, perhaps the kitchen. Reach out and pick up the nearest thing to hand that you can lift and carry. Now take it to the trash, preferably out of the house and into a dumpster or trash bin, and throw it in. AND LEAVE IT THERE. Walk back into the house without looking back.

Could you do this? Can you sit with the feelings for a few moments and just let them wash over you? Can you let the desire to go back and get the item from the trash well up inside without acting on it?

No matter what you do now, you will learn such an important lesson about your relationship with your “stuff.” If you can resist the temptation to “rescue” the item, you have just taken the first step in clearing your clutter. If you can't resist, now you know the depth of your attachment. With a little more reflection, perhaps you can identify the underlying cause. This is critical information.

How: In either case, there is a way forward. Keep in mind, it's been proven again and again that folks can't clear years’ (or a lifetime’s) worth of clutter alone. Thankfully, help for hoarders is out here. Clutter and hoarding cleanup services are available. Therapy is available. Clutter support groups are available. You are not alone.

And it just means taking the first small step, as you just now did by throwing away one item, whether it's still in the trash or ended up back in the house.

Now picture this:

It may be hard to imagine a functional, clean, welcoming room such as this in your home, but please believe me when I tell you that this is possible, and in fact is a room we recently cleared for a client. You can have this too, with help, with some good hard work, and with a willingness to gain insight into your feelings about your “stuff.”

Let this new year be the year that you welcome your family and friends back into your life in a home that feels like a home.