People & Inspiration

Ghosting Happens and Why You Shouldn’t Romanticize It

Back in the day, there was Casper. A young, innocent, and kind-hearted ghost who genuinely fell in love with a girl.

Today, we have lost the Casper’s and gained those who want to follow in his footsteps. They are, however, of the right age to be considered adults, and unfortunately not too innocent to begin with. They would fall in love with a girl or at least express a strong attraction towards her, woo her, even adore her.

Only the next thing you know, he’s gone and disappeared off the face of the earth.

Back in the day, it was as simple as not being called back after a first date or not being asked out again. It might also have been called The Silent Treatment, The Disappearing Act or He’s Not Just That Into You. But today, it goes far beyond. As dating’s most inconvenient truth, we call it “Ghosting” and just like shit, it happens.

The Ghost Effect

An informal, random survey with friends revealed that 3 out of 5 males have already ghosted someone while 4 out of 5 females claimed to be on the receiving end of this phenomenon.

When asked why they did it or what prompted them to just cut it off without saying something, not a word even, the reasons vary from “wala lang” to “I just felt like it”. Now while it was rather hard to rationalize something as blunt as that, we get a glimpse on what goes through the mind of those who had done it. But of course, that is not to say their reasons are all the same.

Now for those who had been ghosted, not only did they feel left out. They were also left with the questions, low self-esteem, and possibly the worst of them all, cynicism for their next potential relationships.

Romantic or Rude?

When these things happen, it’s more likely to hear the phrases “move on”, “be glad it happened, now it’s over” and other things meant to comfort you. And so you move on, thinking it’s inevitable and it’s okay because again like shit, it happens. But in reality, it is not okay. You shouldn’t even try to romanticize it with the thought of finding the right one because someone decided to cut you off like that.

Ghosting is rude. It might seem like an easy way out for when the feelings get too overwhelming or for when the truth becomes too hard to handle. But it is a cowardly way. The only reason why ghosting is fast becoming a norm in the dating culture is because you let it, and why not if you can get another person to date in a swipe or in a click, right?

But at the end of the day, ghosts do what they do best—they haunt. And unless you want to make a ghost town out of your heartbreak city, maybe it’s high time to rethink the things you say ok to so they don’t (hopefully) become an accepted norm.