Monday, November 11, 2013

baby #2 coming soon

On Saturday, September 7th, I had a hunch. Not a big hunch, but a teensy weensy little hunch. That evening, I left my house to pick Sara up for a wedding we were attending. I had just bought some pregnancy tests at Walgreens on the way to her house and stuffed them in my backseat so she wouldn't be suspicious. (Because somehow Sara always knows EVERYTHING about EVERYONE.)

I got home after the wedding, sneakily went straight to the bathroom, took the test, and came out into the living room where Colt was. I handed it to him and he read the test aloud. We laughed and hugged and jumped and I said, "I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M PREGNANT!" a thousand times. I'm still saying that in my heart as I'm typing it.

When I first read the test on my own, I couldn't believe my eyes. There's just nothing weirder than 2 lines telling you there's a human in your tummy that you can't feel or see yet. I laughed and pulled my hair and danced. On the toilet. (I'm fancy.)

I spent several weeks pretending like I wasn't pregnant - pretending like my normal clothes weren't fitting a bit more snugly, pretending like I wasn't nauseous all the time, pretending like I didn't actually want to fall asleep at any given moment. I straight up lied to my best friends and gave an emphatic, "No!" when they asked, "Are you pregnant?" It was a relief and a joy getting to tell my close friends and family about a month ago. (Sorry, internet, you get to know last.)

(Number 2, y'all!)

If you're wondering, no, I'm not feeling too great. I'm nauseous, have very specific things I can eat that agree with my stomach, have headaches often, and want to stay in bed all day. But the show must go on with Mr. Duke around. This pregnancy has been night and day from my last. (More reflections on my first trimester coming soon.)

My mind and heart are already filled to the brim with new questions, concerns, dreams, and worries for this next baby. I have a much greater understanding of this whole bringing-a-person-into-the-world thing than I did when I was pregnant with Duke. I know the pain of childbirth, I know the responsibility of breastfeeding, I know the exhaustion of true sleep-deprivation, I know the feeling of so much love in your heart that it hurts.

But while all of these things can make me feel a bit ansy, I'm excited to accept the challenge of walking through all of those things again. When it comes to motherhood, nothing is harder, but nothing is more rewarding.

We're absolutely thrilled and feeling blessed beyond belief. We are so undeserving of such a wonderful blessing.

Congrats! So excited for you! I just know you are going to ease into this next phase of motherhood with amazing grace. I can't wait to follow along and learn from you, too. :) This is wonderful news. I hope you start feeling okay in the next couple of weeks.