Grief and Loss from the NDE Perspective

I
was asked by a national non-profit grief
organization to write an article about
grief from the perspective of the near-death
experience. The following is the article
I submitted to them. In this article,
I answer questions concerning the afterlife
which are focused primarily for people
who are grieving over the loss of a
loved one and are seeking answers. I
pray that if you fit this description,
you will be helped by this article.
I pray that this article will also help
you learn how to maintain communications
with your loved one on the Other Side.

I
experienced loss and grief for the first time over two years
ago when my mother died in a tragic car accident.
I thought my knowledge of NDEs would spare me of the profound
grief people often go through when losing a very close
loved one. But when my mother died, I discovered my knowledge
of life after death did not prevent me from experiencing
the profound grief I thought wouldn't happen. One of the biggest lessons I learned was
this: No matter how wonderful you believe the afterlife
is, losing a loved one is a profoundly devastating experience.
And no matter how wonderful it is to know your loved
one is in a paradise beyond imagination, losing them is
no less a profoundly devastating experience. In my book
entitled "Nothing
Better Than Death,"
I make the case of death to be the most wonderful experience
in the world. There is no doubt in my mind about it. But
while I was in the middle of writing my book, my mother
died and - until that point - I believed I knew as much
as a person could about death without actually
dying. But I was sadly mistaken. When my mother died,
the reality losing her was a tremendous shock. I quickly discovered
an aspect to death I knew nothing about - death from the point of view of
the surviving loved ones.

After I went through a phase
of denial, I eventually became so depressed
I had to be hospitalized off and on for a few years.
While in a psych ward with severe depression, there is
really nowhere else to go but up. It took
a long while for me to function normally again; but the
experience ultimately put me on permanent disability.
Losing a very close loved one is a lesson probably most
people must learn. There IS nothing better than death; but only for the one
who has died. For surviving family and friends; there
is often nothing worse than losing a loved one. A loved
one's death is a homecoming and a time for great
rejoicing; but only for themselves. For the surviving
family and friends, losing a loved feels more like oblivion,
psychic disconnection, profound heartbreak, and often
suicide. Experiencing this dichotomy of the
wonderfulness and horrifying nature of death was
the biggest shock of my life aside from losing my mother. Before my mother died,
I viewed death only as a friend which only uninformed people fear.
I knew how some NDErs quickly realize the
inappropriateness of expressing joy at the loss of a
loved one while everyone around them is in mourning. I
believed my "superior" understanding death and the NDE
would protect me from the loss in the same manner. But
my mother was only 63-years-old when she died and
somehow I believed she would be around for many decades.
So my mother's sudden and horrifying death meant never
being with her again - at least in this world - and for
possibily another 50 years when I reach my 90's. In
other words, an entire lifetime for some. It was
the toughest lesson I have ever had to learn in my life
and it took
me by complete surprise.

For a long time after her death,
I could only focus on my loss and not her gain. I understand
now this is perfectly natural. The experience of losing
my mother made me
realize how wrong I was in believing it to be selfish to
grieve over losing a loved one.
In fact, during my period of grief, it was often my mother
who was comforting me from the Other Side. On several occasions,
I felt her presence around me suddenly and unexpectedly.
One such occasion was so profound that I have documented the experience
on my website as an "after-death communication"
because of the signs and wonders that went along with it
that happened to my entire family.In the end, my experience of
losing my mother became more than a time of profound grief.
It was also an educational process in many ways. In the
most profound way, it removed all residue of doubt I had
of the existence of life after death. I like to call it
my "near-life
experience" because
it resembled a near-death experience in many ways but on
this side of life.

Where
do I begin? There is a mountain of circumstantial
evidence which I believe
is good enough for most people. Circumstantial evidence
is often enough for courts of law to determine truth. The
best evidence, of course, is scientific evidence. And there
is a growing amount of scientific evidence which supports
the afterlife hypothesis. But this evidence does not meet
the very high standard that satisfies the scientific method
that would make it proof that the afterlife hypothesis is
true. There is, however, a much scientific evidence supporting
survival of consciousness which science has not been able
to explain away.

Science cannot explain how so
many near-death experiencers observe
verifiable events happening far away from their clinically
dead body. Experiencers
will tell you that they were outside of their physical body
when they observed the events. This is an unacceptable explanation
for materialists who reject any notion of paranormal things
including a spirit realm. For the scientist using the somewhat
limited scientific method, this represents a real challenge.
Quantum physics, on the other hand, supports a multi-dimensional
reality and a transcendental consciousness. In fact,
this new physics is beginning
to support many important concepts found in near-death experiences
(NDEs) such as the existence of non-material dimensions
without our time-space relationship, the supernatural qualities
of light, universal interconnectedness, and the non-locality
of consciousness. I personally believe that the dimension
we travel to after death is the quantum realm. Scientists
smash atomic particles together to study it. Astrophysicists
peer into galaxies and across vast oceans of time and space
to study it. Death appears to be another way to study this
magical dimension.

People born blind see for the
first time in their
lives when they have an NDE. Dr. Ken Ring is the pioneer
on this subject. Also, some people have reported having
an NDE while on the operating table and brain dead. We know
they were brain dead because there brain waves were monitored
and recorded a flatline.
Yet, when the patient revives they describe observing the
whole thing while out of their body. Then they describe
going into the light and meeting deceased loved ones. This
is a major problem for science right now because brain doctors
know that unconscious and dead brains do not produce images
or visions. And even if we assume that such a brain can
produce images or visions, it would not be able to remember
them when they become conscious. This is the dilemma which
science so far has not been able to explain. But there are
studies going on right now, particularly in the UK and Europe,
which are trying to get to the bottom of this. They are
also trying to obtain more verifiable evidence which people
having a near-death experience can bring back.

3. What are some examples
of the more interesting NDEs that you have come across?

The
NDEs in which people bring back verifiable evidence is most
fascinating to me. Also, the NDEs of those who are born
blind and those who are verifiably brain dead as I have
already mentioned. I enjoy reading the NDEs of small children
because they generally have little or no biases and generally
have no motive to lie. Their NDEs are identical to adult
NDEs with the exception that children describe their NDEs
in, you might say, the purest form. Some people are shown visions
of the future, but
which is not fixed - that is - they are shown a future based
upon current probabilities. Some well-known experiencers,
such as Dannion Brinkley,
were shown important world events which later came true.
For example, Brinkley was shown the collapse of the Soviet
Union, the Chernobyl disaster, and Operation Desert Storm
in Iraq. He was shown this several decades before it happened
and he has evidence to prove that he knew about these events
before they occurred.

Other NDEs that interest me a
lot are the ones where the experiencer has been dead for
days. I don't come across too many of these, but I have
them on my website. One well-known case is that of
Reverend George Rodonaia
who had an NDE while trying to leave Communist Russia. He
was run over by the KGB and killed and was placed in the
morgue. He has all the documents showing how he was declared
dead for three days. During this time, Rodonaia has one
of the most beautiful NDEs I have ever read about. He revives
on the autopsy table when the pathologist began to cut into
him.

Other NDEs I find interesting
are the ones where two or more people are killed together
at the same time and share the same NDE.
My favorite case of this phenomenon comes from the distinguished
Mormon NDE research Arvin Gibson. He documented the testimony
of a whole group of Mormon firefighters who succumbed to
the flames only to return with an NDE. They all saw each
other outside of their bodies after the fire they were fighting
overtook them. The remarkable thing is that they were promised
by God that if they returned to their bodies, their bodies
wouldn't be burned. When they all revived, not only did
their bodies not burn, but neither did their tools. However,
the mountainside that they were trying to protect was completely
burned.

I also like reading NDEs where
the experiencer brings back a
scientific discovery
or obtains supernatural powers. Many of the scientific discoveries
are in the realm of physics which I briefly touched on.
Some experiencers return from having an NDE with psychic
powers. For example, Dr. Yvonne Kason had an NDE after the
plane she was riding in crashed into a lake. Sometime afterward,
she received a vision that her friend had encephalitis.
The strange thing about it was that her friend was not even
ill. But Dr. Kason insisted that her friend be tested anyway.
The test turned out to be positive. Other near-death experiencers
who obtained psychic powers from an NDE have worked with
police detectives to solve various crimes. One famous near-death
experiencer, Joseph McMoneagle,
worked for the CIA during the Cold War as a "remote
viewer."

Some
people are surprised when I tell them that there already
is scientific evidence that reincarnation is a reality.
The only problem is that science and religion in the West
does not accept it so it is generally ignored. There have
been astounding studies done over the last four decades,
particular by
Dr. Ian
Stevenson, which documents not only past life memories
in small children, but corroborating physical characteristics
which they were born with. The truth is out there. People
just need to understand it.

The
reason the West rejects reincarnation, for the most part,
is because they don't really understand it and therefore
have misconceptions about it.
NDE research
supports the reality of reincarnation because some experiencers
were shown their past lives during a life review. Some experiencers
have even observed people being prepared for reincarnation
to another life on Earth. Some were even asked by Jesus
if they would like to reincarnate.

As a
Christian, there was a time when I too did not accept reincarnation.
But, as I studied more and more NDE testimony, I not only
became convinced of its reality, I began to understanding
it. For me, the idea of having to return to Earth after
I die used to really repulse me. I assumed that people reincarnated
immediately after death and, therefore, not reunite with
loved ones again. As I read more about NDEs, I discovered
that experiencers
describe life after death as a timeless realm. This
means we can literally spend an eternity of eternities in
heaven with loved ones if we desire before we make such
a decision to go back to Earth.

My understanding
of the "mechanics" of reincarnation also helped
me understand my Christian faith to a degree that I never
thought possible.
The concept
of resurrection has always troubled me. The idea of
an angel appearing in the sky someday in the future and
- blowing a horn to call everyone in their graves to come
out - never appealed to me. Strangely enough, my NDE research
led me to examine the history and doctrines of early Christianity
and other religions to find out that
"resurrection"
is basically a historical misunderstanding of reincarnation.
There is an abundant amount of Biblical evidence alone which
shows that Jesus
taught reincarnation. But he mostly taught people about
a spiritual resurrection that takes place during a person's
life which is the true resurrection and it's called "regeneration"
or becoming "born again". It is a spiritual rebirth.
It is also the way we escape from the cycle of reincarnation.

No
two NDEs are exactly identical, although many are very similar.
After studying a large number of experiences a pattern becomes
evident. This pattern can be found in children's NDEs as
well.

Often the death experience begins
with the feeling of leaving the body
and is hovering overhead. Sometimes a "silver
cord" is seen
connected to the body which acts as an umbilical cord. Sometimes
the person may later be able to describe who was where and
what happened, sometimes in detail. They may spend an extended
period of time around their earthly environment and discover
that they can walk through walls, hear the thoughts and
feel the feelings of the living, or fly through the air.

The person may then find themselves
moving through a dark space
or tunnel
and having a sense of timelessness.
Sometimes they may suddenly see the Earth
from outer space. They may actually travel into outer space
and experience galaxies light-years away.

Some people may see or actually
experience a temporary realm which could be called
a "hellish" realm.
They may see souls who are in a miserable condition and
in situations which may resemble a nightmare such as souls
engaged in hand-to-hand combat, sexual orgies and rape,
gloomy dungeons, a foggy realm of bewildered souls, and
the earthbound realm where some souls are not aware they
have died or they are obsessed with some earthly desire
for which they try in vain to satisfy. The souls in these
realms do not remain there forever because higher spirit
beings can also be seen there helping them. It is my personal
opinion that the number of people who experience these hellish
realms for an extended period of time after death is comparable
to the number of people in our prison system today. That
is, it represents only a small fraction of society.

The person may encounter a wonderful
and beautiful light.
It is usually described as golden, or white, and as being
very loving. People identify this light with God. The person
may feel as though they are being "magnetically"
drawn to it.

Other
entities may appear and greet the person. They may be deceased
loved ones recognized from life or they may be people whom
they cannot identify but feel as though they know them.
A kind of heavenly homecoming
may occur where the person is reunited with deceased loved
ones. Sometime sacred beings appear such as a "Being
of Light", Jesus,
the Virgin Mary, Buddha, archangels, angels,
etc. Sometimes beings appear whom they identify to be "guides".
The person may be reunited with a deceased pet.
Orbs
may be seen representing the souls of individuals. Sometimes
symbols from one's own religion or other religious traditions
appear.

At some point, the person realizes
they now possess supernatural abilities such as mental telepathy,
instantaneous travel, the ability to create things with
their mind, the ability to change form such as into an orb
of light, and the ability to see in 360 degree vision.

The person may then experience
a life review
which is when they see and re-experience major and trivial
events of one's life, sometimes from the perspective of
the other people involved. The person may be asked a question
like "How have you loved others in your life?"
or "What have you done with your life?" or some
question having to do with love which initiates the life
review. Although the life review involves an incredible amount of knowledge
and experiences, the life review itself is usually described
as happening instantaneously. Sometimes the person is taken
back into time to experience historical events. Sometimes
the person is taken into the future. The life review often
ends by coming to some conclusion about the adequacy of
that person's life and what changes are needed in it.

People report having a sense
of understanding everything, of being omniscient, and of
knowing how the universe and everything works. They may
receive important information which they believe they had
known before but had forgotten - sometimes about their own
identity. Some people bring back knowledge of having
past lives.
They may receive previously unknown information about their
life such as being adopted or some hidden parentage or deceased
siblings they didn't know about. Some people bring back
important scientific information and discoveries. Some people
bring back knowledge about the future - either personal
or global - and sometimes apocalyptic. Some people bring
back information concerning religion,
philosophy, history, or astrology.

In some cases, the person may
be taken to otherworldly environments. They may observe
or enter a beautiful "city
of light" or
a heavenly library or a "temple
of knowledge"
or a heavenly receiving station.
They may visit beautiful heavenly gardens, valleys, or other
scenery. The person may then reach a boundary such as a
river, a fence, or some kind of barrier that may not be
crossed if one is to return to life.

The person may then receive a
telepathic message, "It
is not yet your time"
or "Your mission is not completed" or "You
are not ready to die" or some variant of this. The
decision to return may be voluntary or involuntary. If voluntary,
it is usually associated with unfinished responsibilities.

The experience
ends when the person returns to their body. This may be
an instantaneous event or the person may observe their physical
body before they must "jump" into it.

When the person has revived, they
may notice dramatic personal changes such as an increase
in spirituality and psychic abilities. They may have difficulty
adjusting to these new changes. They may become depressed
because they had to leave heaven. The entire near-death
experience changes lives forever.

When
you read enough NDE testimony you get an overwhelming feeling
and understanding that there is only one thing that is of
utmost importance. It is love - particularly unconditional love.
If you read enough of these NDEs, you will discover that
love is the most important thing there is. And the love
they are talking about is practically nonexistent on Earth.
The love that near-death experiencers are talking about
is unconditional love - unlimited love - all-powerful love
- all-encompassing love - a universal love. This love is
the divine entity which all the religious people on Earth
worship as "God".

The indescribable light which
people see after death is what people call "God".
This light of love is God. God's presence is so obvious
in heaven that it cannot be denied. Air is to the physical
world as God is to the spirit world. God cannot really be
described with words and experiencers are often flustered
when trying to do so. The words used to describe God is
love, life, light, time and space, the pattern for all life,
the energy of all matter, the heart of all that matters,
the very essence of all being, the source behind every sun,
the source of all light and love, the core of all things,
the single point of infinite light and absolute love, and
the very life force of the universe. In other words, God
is everywhere and everything is a part of God because nothing
exists that is not a part of God.

People
who have an NDE are bringing into the world a light of love
which has never before been understood on such a vast scale.
Experiencers tell us that love is God. The light seen in
so many NDEs is this love that is God. God is the light
that loves. And loving others and everything is all that
really matters in life. Everything else, our achievements
and material wealth, is totally irrelevant by comparison.
Whether people realize it or not, love is what we are really
seeking and what we need to sustain us. This love is too
immense and profound to be fully understood in a single
lifetime. But it can be fully understood after we die when
we enter into the light.

All paths
in life eventually lead back to God: universal love and
one-ness. As spirit beings, our core is perfect love - the
so-called "spark of divinity". When we recognize
this divine love within us, we realize that everyone is
connected together. We are all of the same spirit and separation
is only an illusion.

Experiencers tell us that
life is about people,
not pursuits. It is about loving people, not things. Religious
dogma means nothing on the other side. True religion is
to love others as we love ourselves. But we must love ourselves.
It is what's inside us that counts. It is love and not religious
dogma which creates spiritual growth. What is important
is what comes from the heart, not what one professes with
the lips. Love in action is what lasts. The more we live
in love, the closer we are to God. The way to heaven is
through the practice of love. Love is the law of the universe
and love actually holds the universe together. Our afterlife
situation and condition is determined by the level of love
we have developed in our life. This is often attained through
hardships which challenge us and help us grow and stay compassionate.
Before we can really feel joy, we must know sorrow.
This world is the "School
of Hard Knocks"
which helps develop within us the tough, unconditional love
that people call "God." We are told by experencers
that life is a cycle of improvements and the goal is perfection
in love.

Once we
leave this world, we will step into the spirituality we
have cultivated within ourselves. We will then view reality
from an inward perspective instead of an outward one. Heaven
and hell are not locations so much as they are spiritual
states of being. We grow to heaven. We don't go to heaven.
We grow to heaven through love within and in practice. The
central factor determining our level of spiritual growth,
and the level of heaven we attain after death, is the degree
to which we have lived for the sake of others out of love.
Our ability to love governs our progress in the spirit and
it determines the degree of light we possess.

They say
life on Earth is but a preparation for our life in heaven.
We come to Earth from heaven for the purpose of obtaining
spiritual development and to bring heaven to Earth. Free
will is a divine gift from God to humanity and nobody forces
anyone to heaven. Since God is love, the more love we create
within us and give to others, the closer we are to God.
It is a life of love that leads to heaven. Love is God's
paradise for humanity and we can create this paradise from
heaven on Earth and within us if we learn to love one another.

We are
told that the chief reason for returning to this world is
for instruction which leads to the advancement of our souls
in spiritual maturity. We are all given all the opportunities
it takes, as many lifetimes as it takes, to achieve this
goal. Then, like the prodigal son, we will return to our
true home never again to leave it. Once we have learned
the lessons necessary in this world, we do not need to return.

Heaven
is a matter of "good vibrations"
which is based on the various levels of spiritual love which
exists. Physicists tell us that there may be ten, eleven,
or even more dimensions to reality which exists within the
same space as our universe. The reason we cannot see these
dimensions is the same reason we cannot see radio or television
waves because they exist beyond the frequency on the light
spectrum that we can see. Love can be compared to heat which
has vibrations that are finer than colder temperatures.
The greater the love - the finer the vibration - and the
closer we are to heaven. Heavier vibrations represent coldness
and the heavier the vibrations the nearer we are to what
people call "hell." Negative vibes cannot be expressed
in heaven so as we enter into heaven, these negative vibes
are removed by God. People who prefer to hold on to negative
vibes are allowed to dwell where these vibrations can be
expressed.

When we
manifest unconditional love, our soul vibration is so high
that the only place we can fit into is heaven. People don't
go to heaven because of good deeds, but because their soul
vibration of love fits in and belongs there. After death,
people gravitate into groups according to the rate of their
soul's vibration. The old cliché "Birds of a feather
flock together" is really true. It is the same principle
as putting a coin into the slot of a coin counter. The coin
just naturally fits to its proper location. So it is with
the soul. After death, our soul naturally fits in the level
of love and heaven we have within us. In fact, while we
are alive on Earth, our soul actually dwells in the spiritual
dimension we will discover after death. This is why Jesus
said, "The Kingdom of heaven is within." The beauty
of heaven is beyond words and it reflects the spiritual
nature of those who dwell there.

Although
our goal is to remain forever in heaven, our greatest goal
right now is to bring heaven to Earth. If we don't help
those in the lower realms to develop a higher level of spirituality,
we cannot truly enjoy heaven. This is because our family
and friends might be inhabiting these lower levels. It is
as one experiencer so eloquently put it, "We are going
to link up, hold hands, and walk out of hell together."
For this reason, we leave paradise, not just for the sake
of our own spiritual development, but for those we love.
By doing this, we are also doing it for God's sake. We are
assured by God that when we leave paradise for another incarnation
at a lower spiritual level, we will be brought home safely
again. Ultimately, everyone will merge with God at the highest
level as it was in the beginning. Paradise lost will then
truly become paradise found again.

People
who have a near-death experience often return less religious
and more spiritual. One minister who had a near-death
experience said that it made everything in his life appear
insignificant by comparison - his ministry, his religion,
even his own family. He added that it didn't diminish these
aspects to his life; it just revealed his experience to
be far greater.

Doctrine,
creed and race mean nothing on the Other Side. Theology
is not important to God. No matter what we believe, we were
all children joined under one God. The only rule is the
Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto
you. Heaven is not about religion. We do not attain heaven
through religion or by pledging allegiance to a God. It
is love that creates heaven. Religions are only cultural
institutions. Those religions which claim to be superior
over other religions or exclude people for various reasons
go against God's law to love others as we love ourselves.
Although religion is not considered important to God, all
religions are necessary because there are people who need
what these religions teach. It is for this reason that all
religions are precious in the sight of God. But if
you insist upon searching for an old man on a throne after
you die, you will do this for a long time until you get
the idea that you are chasing a fantasy-to-be-abandoned.

9. How can I contact
my loved one on the Other Side through my dreams?

When
my mother died two years ago, she appeared in a dream of
mine and in an almost identical dream of my sister's that
very same night. These kinds of dreams are often reported
to be "not like an ordinary dream." Indeed, my
own contact with my mother happened when she interrupted
my normal dream and suddenly it became a lucid dream where
I was able to talk to her. It was lucid, in that, I became
aware that I was dreaming but I did not see my mother as
part of a dream. I knew that she was actually there and
what I was experiencing with my mother was no dream. An
ordinary dream is generally fragmented, jumbled, filled
with symbolism, and incomplete in various ways. Ordinary
dreams typically have a quality of unreality about them
and such dreams are often forgotten. But a "visitation
dream" feels like an actual face-to-face visit with
a deceased loved one. They are much more lucid, vivid, colorful,
orderly, and memorable than ordinary dreams.

Visitation dreams
are probably more common than people realize but they are
often dismissed or not talked about out of fear of having
their sanity questioned. Dreams are the best way to connect
with our loved ones on the Other Side. There are various
kinds of dreams depending upon the physical, mental, or
spiritual needs we have at the time. Our dreams are our
access to the Other Side. During our dreams, we receive
input from the spirit world and from our spirit. It has
been said that there is not a question we can ask which
cannot be answered from the depths of our being while we
are dreaming.

During
our dreams we can also experience telepathy, see into the
future, travel out of our body, remember past lives, meet
our spirit guides, meet angels, meet Jesus, and even hear
the voice of God. Some people have reported near-death experiences
while they are dreaming.

Our subconscious
minds are in contact with other subconscious minds - both
living and "dead". Through our subconscious mind,
dreams can connect us with living people on Earth or with
those on the Other Side. We might be visited in our dreams
by deceased family and friends for many reasons. Sometimes
they seek to give us assurance about their well-being on
the Other Side. Sometimes loved ones on the Other Side want
to show us what the Other Side is like to take away our
fear and grief. They may come to bring us information which
may be very helpful. For example, there are reports of deceased
relatives appearing in dreams and giving instructions about
where to find a will or a lost object. Sometimes they appear
in our dreams for just a visit. As it was in Biblical days,
angels can even appear and speak to us in our dreams today.
Sometimes our loved ones on the Other Side appear in our
dreams to say things like, "I am fine and happy. Your
grief is holding me back and making me sad. You can help
me greatly by trying to overcome your sorrow."

There
are things you can do to help you in contacting loved ones
in your dreams. First of all, pray to God before you sleep
for guidance and to help contact with your loved one. Make
a suggestion to yourself every night as you fall asleep, "I
will remember my dreams." Record your dreams as soon
as possible after you wake up. If you awaken in the middle
of the night, write down the main events or symbols in your
dream. The entire dream will usually be recalled in the
morning. Practice trying to remember more and more of your
dreams. You will find that just the realization of how important
your dreams really are will go a long way to helping you
remember your dreams.

There
is a little known, but very important, fact about the Other
Side which shows up from time to time in near-death experiences.
It is the fact that we can communicate with loved ones on
the Other Side through prayer. Sometimes it is the prayers
of loved ones that experiencers hear on the Other Side which
causes them to return. I have heard it said numerous times
that the most important thing the Other Side desires from
us is our prayers. There is evidence that prayers for a
loved one on the Other Side can literally free them from
a hellish spiritual condition. Our prayers actually help
those on the Other Side. Prayer is especially critical for
someone who committed suicide and is now seeking forgiveness
and reassurance from the living. When we pray for someone
on the Other Side, they are suddenly filled with the light
of God and know they are being thought of and helped by
our prayer.

Think
of prayer as a spiritual "telephone" which we
can connect to our loved ones on the Other Side. Think of
God as the "Switchboard Operator" because that
is exactly one of the roles that God plays - to bring us
together and remind us of our one-ness with all things.
When you pray to God, ask God to connect you to your loved
one. Then start talking to your loved one in your prayers
and they will hear you. It is our outpouring of love to
them that reassures them that you don't think of them as
just "thin air" which the living seem to do frequently.
So when God connects you to your loved one in prayer, pour
your light of love on them and you will be doing a wonderful
thing for them. What most people often don't know realize
is that they want to know that we believe they are still
around - which they are. We just can't see them. Our prayers
for them are like a light that suddenly shines on them that
fills them with your love. It means a lot to our loved ones
on the Other Side to continue to communicate with them through
prayer. They would like to hear from us just as badly as
we do - except they know for sure we are fine, whereas,
it is the living who lives in the land of death and doubt.
The problem is that some people believe that praying for
the dead is somehow "evil". Although the Catholic
Church has traditionally sanctioned praying for the dead,
Protestants do not. And a large number of people don't even
believe in the afterlife or that their loved ones have survived
death. Imagine the disappointment you might feel if you
died and discover that none of your loved ones believe you
exist anymore. Or suppose you discover that they believe
you are in hell for some reason and in torment. By directing
our prayers to our loved ones on the Other Side, we give
them reassurance that our relationship remains intact even
though physically it is not.

When my
mother died, I discovered how therapeutic it was to send
her my thoughts and feelings through prayer. I suppose one
does not even need to believe that praying to them actually
works to receive benefits by praying to them. After her
death, I poured my heart out to her in my prayers. I know
that I am connecting with my mother every time I direct
my prayers to her. And you might be pleasantly surprised
when your prayers are answered.

11. How can I contact
my loved one on the Other Side through meditation?

Prayer
is speaking to the Other Side. Meditation is listening to
the Other Side. It takes perseverance to be able to harness
one's thoughts, sit still and control the body, to attune
our minds properly for contact to be made. There are several
time-honored methods for meditation that a person could
use. When first learning to meditate, a point may be reached
where you become fascinated by the many faces appearing
in your mind's eye. You may see numerous pairs of eyes staring
at you, hear your name called, or feel as thought we are
in the midst of a crowd. This is not yet true mediation
and so you must continue on. The voices and the faces may
belong to unfamiliar souls on the Other Side who are attracted
to the spiritual light pouring from you while in this pre-meditative
state. The experience has been described to be similar to
the feeling of looking through a keyhole only to see another
eye looking back at you. By learning to control your thoughts,
a higher state can be achieved which is true meditation
can take place and we can connect with loved ones on the
Other Side. Personally, I must confess that I am a poor
mediator. The results of meditation are best when it is
done frequently and regularly.

There
is an easier method which people can try to attempt to contact
the Other Side. This method was developed by none other
than Dr. Raymond Moody, the world's foremost expert on near-death
experiences. Moody's method is based on the ancient Greek
oracle technique to receive visions. Moody has reported
a lot of success with this method by those willing to try
it. Moody's method involves gazing into a large mirror,
a technique that the great seer Nostradamus used to see
into the future. Moody has described having an extended
vision and conversation with his deceased grandmother using
this method. This method for mirror gazing is itself very
easy. Here is the method:

Dr. Raymond Moody's Method
for Contacting the Other Side

1.

Eliminate caffeine
and dairy products the day before to get
into a more peaceful state of mind. Eat
simply such as only fruit and vegetables.

Go to the quietest
and most comfortable part of your house
where you can relax in privacy. Unplug clocks
and phones in that room so that you won't
be disturbed. Place a large mirror in front
of your chair and arrange it so that you
can gaze into it without having to hold
your eyes at an uncomfortable angle.

4.

For about 15 minutes,
create a mood by soothing yourself with
beautiful art or listening to soft music.
Art and music alone is enough to induce
altered states in many people.

5.

Have photographs
and personal items of your loved one around
you. Focus your thoughts on them to imprint
your loved one firmly in your mind. A family
album filled with great memories can do
the trick. Home videos do the same thing.
Some people hold articles of clothing associated
with the person. Other items might include
your loved one's fishing pole, hobby tools,
tobacco pipe, eyeglasses, old letters, etc.
Anything associated with your loved one
is an effective way of bringing up memories
and feelings.

6.

The twilight hour
is a time that seems to better inspire altered
states in many people. Dim the lights to
a comfortable level. Having a dim light
behind you while you are sitting in front
of the mirror usually works the best.

7.

Sit in a comfortable
chair that will support the back of your
head, even if you're deeply relaxed. A comfortable
posture is very important. The goal is to
ease into an altered state of awareness.

8.

Relax and gaze into
the clear depth of the mirror without trying
to see anything. Some compare this to looking
off into the distance. If you are properly
relaxed, your arms will feel very heavy
and the tips of your fingers might tingle
as though they are slightly charged with
electricity. According to Moody, this tingling
feeling almost always signals the beginning
of the hypnagogic state (i.e., the preferred
altered consciousness).

9.

The mirror may appear
cloudy. Some people describe it as resembling
a cloudy sky on a cloudy day. Others report
that the mirror becomes darker. Whatever
is the case, this change in the clarity
of the mirror signals that visions are about
to appear.

10.

Try not to control
the experience with your thoughts or say
anything when the visions appear. At this
point, it is best to first experience things
passively. Just let the experience and the
visions flow. Attempting to control any
visions with your thoughts after they appear
will usually cause them to fade away. Moody
said he is not sure why this happens, but
he guesses that conscious thought brings
a person out of the hypnagogic state of
mind when these visions are able to appear.

11.

Once you become
more adept at mirror gazing, it can be very
helpful to have specific questions in your
mind before entering the trance state. Then
when the visions occur, you can pose your
questions.

According
to Moody, the visions usually last less than a minute, especially
for those unable to stay relaxed. Some of Dr. Moody's subjects
have been able to experience visions for as long as ten
minutes on their first attempt. The more proficient a person
becomes at mirror gazing, the longer these visions will
appear in the mirror.

Sometimes
you may not see anything, yet hear your departed person
talk or feel their touch. Some people experience all the
sensations of being reunited with their loved one without
actually seeing anything. Some people, such as Nostradamus,
describe a sensation of actually entering into the mirror
and having the visions come out with you. Whatever the type
of experience you have, it will be obvious when the visions
begin and when they are over.

Moody
recommends that people record the experience immediately
after the session as you would a dream. Write it down in
as much detail as possible. Practice makes perfect. If the
visions do not occur during a session, there may be factors
involved. The most common reason for failing to see anything
is trying too hard. Moody states that people sometimes report
experiencing visions once they give up trying. Distractions
are another common reason that visions fail to occur. These
may include outside noise and/or physical discomfort. Perhaps
the room is too hot or too cold. Distractions also take
place in the form of diet. Some people just cannot have
visionary experiences after eating a heavy meal. A light
meal is recommended because it elevates your blood sugar
and keeps you from focusing on hunger. Moody also emphasizes
that exercise is an important component of relaxation. He
states that most people are much more relaxed after exercise
- even gentle exercise. Lack of exercise can make it difficult
for you to relax and let your mind wander while mirror gazing.
Some people who meditate are aware of having such visions
while they meditate and consider them an interesting by-product.

12. How can I contact
my loved one on the Other Side through an out-of-body experience?

Scientific
studies suggests that out-of-body experiences (OBEs) occur
during the dream phase of sleep.
There are also time-honored methods to train your body to
have an OBE. During an OBE, it is possible to meet with
deceased family and friends in the same way that it is possible
during dreams. I profile on my website the near-death experience
of
Dr. Dianne Morrissey
who, after her near-death experience, would have spontaneous
OBEs. She is now an expert in the field and teaches students
how to have them at colleges around the country. In her
book "You
Can See The Light"
she shares a very easy method that anyone can use to have
OBEs - including one where the so-called "Being of
Light" can be seen.
Dr. Melvin Morse,
the famed near-death researcher, has this to say about this
method: "I tried it, and it worked for me!" Here
are the steps:

Dr. Dianne Morrissey's
Method for Contacting the Other Side

1.

Begin to record
in a journal every dream you have. Soon,
you'll begin to see themes and patterns,
such as "flying dreams" or "lucid"
dreams. These are signals that you may be
out of your body.

2.

During the day, imagine
yourself actually having an out-of-body
experience while dreaming later that night.
Choose the place or person you want to visit,
and then visualize the desired image vividly
in your mind.

3.

Before going to
sleep or meditating, tell yourself that
you will have an out-of-body experience.

4.

Just before actually
falling asleep or meditating, see again
in your mind's eye who or where you have
chosen to visit while out of body. This
might be a specific geographic location,
a room in your home, or someone you love.

5.

While lying in bed,
suggest to yourself that you will see your
hand and/or foot while you are dreaming.
Also remind yourself to notice the camera
you have placed nearby when you return to
your bed during your out-of-body experience.

6.

Tell yourself that
your physical body will fall asleep, but
that your mind will stay awake. This will
allow you to observe any dream that begins.
Or, you might remind yourself to awaken
your conscious mind during your dream, even
while your body remains physically asleep.

7.

Once you are aware
that you are actually out of your body,
keep your destination in the forefront of
your mind and immediately go to it. Dr.
Morrissey knows from her own experiences,
as well as from those of thousands of others,
that you can leave your body, reach your
destination, and then return safely again
and again. In the process, your fear of
death will be replaced by a deep appreciation
of the wonderful opportunities awaiting
every day you spend on Earth. The following
are some keys that will help you recognize
when you are having an out-of-body experience
during sleep.

8.

Watch for the "hypnogogic
jolt" as you begin to fall asleep.
This is the sudden jerk of your body just
as you are falling asleep. Note especially
when you think you moved, but later find
that you did not. On these occasions, you
have been out-of-body.

9.

Be aware, before
you go to bed, that you might feel as if
you're vibrating from head to foot. If vibrations
begin, relax and just allow them to occur,
knowing that you are moving into an out-of-body
experience.

10.

Watch for the paralysis
stage that occurs spontaneously during sleep.
At this point, you will already be partly
out of your body. If, at that time, you
think strongly about someone you love, you'll
fly to wherever that person is and see him
or her. You will also know that you are
asleep and conscious within your dream.

11.

Begin to notice
occasions on which you find yourself awakening
twice. In other words, the first time you
think you are awake, you will be awake within
your dream. Right after that, you will be
physically awakened. You might need a moment
to realize that you were not out of bed
after all, but still asleep, even though
the experience seemed so real!

12.

When you can, use
lucid dreaming to direct your dreams and
bring yourself to a chosen person, situation,
or destination. Guiding your dreams is not
only possible, but a time-tested, scientific
reality. This important technique can help
you create a memorable out-of-body experience
- and possibly bring you into the presence
of loved ones on the other side, angelic
beings, and even the Light itself.

13.

You can recognize
a lucid dream by talking aloud to yourself
to see your hand or foot or camera during
a dream. When this occurs, you'll be aware
that you're dreaming, and you can then guide
your dream. Place a camera where you'll
see it when you enter your bedroom, and
tell yourself before you go to bed that,
while dreaming, you will pick up the camera
when you pass it, and "take a picture
of your dream." Using the device of
the camera has two purposes. First, you
might find that when you pick up the camera,
your hand goes right through it. The oddity
of seeing your hand go through a solid object
can trigger your awareness that you're out
of your body. Second the camera can help
you remember your dream when you awaken
in the morning because you "took a
picture" of it while you were asleep.

14.

You can expect that
once you are having an out-of-body experience
during sleep, you'll be able to meet a radiant
angelic being or see the Light. This experience
will truly change your life. When it occurs,
you will know without doubt that you and
the Light are eternally connected. Your
angel will pour Light into you and envelop
you in love.

13. How can I contact
my loved one on the Other Side through after-death communications?

Always
watch for after-death communications
after a loved one dies. It is not unusual anyway for people
to receive a "sign from heaven" that there loved
one continues to exist and are fine. It may not occur right
away either. Some people have them years after their loved
one's death. A large number of people have reportedly received
such a sign after a loved ones death. I have already mentioned
dream visitations. You may also experience a sudden and
powerful sense of their presence in a room. You may suddenly
and unexpectedly hear their voice. You may suddenly feel
their touch or smell their fragrance. Usually these things
occur during a very special event which may provide a highly
meaningful coincidence that affirms to you that contact
has been made. There is even a name for this kind of meaningful
coincidence. It is called "synchronicity". Sometimes,
synchronistic events such as these are so subtle that they
either go unnoticed or are dismissed as mere coincidence.
Some people report having seen their loved one after their
death in the form of an apparition or vision. This kind
of contact resembles the kind of after-death communication
that Jesus' disciples experienced after his death. To learn
more about after-death communications, I highly recommend
the book "Hello
From Heaven"
by Bill and Judy Guggenheim which documents tons of examples
of these. Had I not read this book before my mother's death,
I may not have recognized the large number of synchronistic
events that occurred to my family after my mother's death.
The book is also an excellent gift to give someone who has
just lost a loved one. It is for this reason that I constantly
promote this book. It is one of the best books I have ever
read.

14. How can I contact
my loved one on the Other Side through a psychic?

There are very special individuals
who have been blessed with an extraordinary gift which has
been proven genuine to the minds of millions of open-minded
people. Some of them have been tested in the media. Some
of them have been involved in scientific studied that prove
they are extremely accurate. But because of their tremendous
psychic abilities in contacting those on the other side,
these highly gifted mediums are in great demand. It may
not be easy to get on their list for a reading, but persistent
and patient individuals will be greatly rewarded.

Because the psychic profession
is filled with fraud and abuse (which profession is not?)
I recommend only the psychics who have been tested such
as John Edward
and George Anderson.
The information on how you can contact them is provided
below.

George Anderson is
widely considered the world's greatest living
medium, and remains the world's most sought
after practitioner among those who wish to communicate
with lost loved ones. He has garnered a worldwide
reputation for excellence with his mediumistic
ability. You can contact him through: Anderson's
Support Programs, P.O. Box 733, Deer Park, New
York 11729, website: www.georgeanderson.com

John Edward is known
worldwide through his television show called "Crossing
Over". You can contact him through his
website at:
www.johnedward.net

When my mother died,
I became very depressed and eventually had to be hospitalized.
But because I and my family have a history of depression,
I knew what was happening to me when I became depressed.
Unfortunately, many people go untreated and may not know
there is help. If you have these symptoms:

Extreme
sadness, crying spells, insomnia, bizarre thoughts,
a desire to remain in bed all the time, suicidal
thoughts, and feelings of isolation.

These
are signs that you are clinically depressed. The best advice
to give anyone experiencing these things is to tell your
doctor and get a prescription of anti-depressants. It may
be a matter of life or death. You can read about my own
transition through grief and loss at this web page:
www.near-death.com/visions.html

There
are the many good internet resources dealing with grief
and loss. Here are the best links I know of: