We may have finally found the reason why the San Jose Sharks can't win in the playoffs: Joe Thornton(notes) obviously hasn't unleashed the persuasive powers of Slappy, his ventriloquist's dummy, for an inspirational locker room speech.

Here are Joe and Slappy pimping Sharks tickets in a commercial that preys on our weakness for fart jokes. (Note: Same ad loops three times.)

Jeez, we haven't seen Joe Thornton improve something that wooden since he skated with Mike Knuble(notes) in Boston ...