Everyone Studiously Avoided Their Exes at the Oscars

Tom Cruise acted awkward when his ex-girlfriend Penélope Cruz tapped him on the shoulder at CAA head Bryan Lourd’s Oscar-kickoff party. Meanwhile, text-exes Chace Crawford and Carrie Underwood orbited each other at Elton John’s viewing party and World War III was avoided when Brangelina failed to show at Jeffrey Katzenberg’s pre-Oscar bash, narrowly missing Pitt’s whippet-thin and vengeful ex Jennifer Aniston and her new boyfriend John Mayer. (Aniston’s He’s Just Not That Into You co-star Bradley Cooper was also in attendance, and though he did not have to avoid anyone at the party, he did hit on a woman in front of her mother.) Anne Hathaway, who sat on the lap of her new boyfriend at a pre-Oscar dinner at Cecconi’s, did not have to worry about running into her ex, because he’s injail.

The crowd at the Asia de Cuba viewing party booed when Sean Penn beat Mickey Rourke for Best Actor, but we feel less bad for him after reading that at the Independent Spirit Awards the other night, he told a female photographer to “Show me your tits,” and also reportedly tried to feel up Jessica Alba. Diane Von Furstenburg and Barry Diller hosted a lunch with low-profile guests like Oprah and Gayle King (fresh from visiting Michelle Obama), Sean Combs, and Robert De Niro. Everyone ignored Paris Hilton, who eventually slunk off with her ex, StavrosNiarchos.

Captain Chesley Sullenberger was the man of the hour at the Vanity Fair Oscar dinner and after-party at the Sunset Tower Hotel, which was half the size of previous years’ bashes at Mortons. One couple paid $60,000 to attend with Elton John. Mick Jagger, Sidney Poitier, Michael Douglas, Uma Thurman, Gwen Stefani, and Gavin Rossdale got to go forfree.

Taye Diggs quipped, “Dude, they get us confused enough!” to Tyrese when the model and “actor” sat in his chair at Elton John’s AIDS-foundation Oscar-viewing party.Eva Longoria Parker and Victoria Beckham were each other’s dates. Heath Ledger’s ex Michelle Williams worked the crowd at the Oscars, while Mary-Kate Olsen stomped by in massive Lucite heels. Demi and Ashton skipped the awards to host an Oscar-viewing party with Madonna’s music manager, Guy Oseary. Rihanna, who was due to perform at the Oscars, instead hosted a low-key party to celebrate her 21st birthday. Her ex Chris Brown, who allegedly assaulted her a couple of weeks ago, reportedly sent her gifts including a diamond bracelet and necklace.

Rachel Zoe was reportedly “flipping out over the phone and screaming at the top of her lungs” at the Weinstein and Valentino pre-Oscar party, and a “pal” let slip to the Post that stars like Cameron Diaz and Debra Messing had dropped the stylist because of her divalikebehavior.