Maybelline NY Dream Foundation vs Bobbi Brown Foundation Stick

The Foundation Coverage Division begins to build on the season with this match up Big Cities with New York facing Chicago (Bobbi Brown). It’s Maybelline NY Dream Foundation vs Bobbi Brown Foundation Stick.

Drive By Drive Game Details

Bobbi Brown Wins the Coin Toss and Receives

Bobbi Brown Begins with Cappy

The Bobbi Brown head coach looks down his bench and see Tri-Cap (Capric Triglyceride) sitting head and shoulder above the rest of his teammates.

“Groves Tasteless Chill Tonic in Color” by Infrogmation of New Orleans (CC BY 2.0), via Flickr.com

Capric Triglyceride, or Tri-Cap as he’s known by the BB team, is colorless, odorless, tasteless and stable.

Being stable is Tri-Cap’s strongest feature as the BB team wants stability on the field during critical times in these Lotion Challenges.

Tri-Cap is derived from coconut oil which is well known for its silky oil character.

On the opening drive of the game, Tri-Cap sneaks around the right side of the line on a sweep. Before the defenders can smell out the play, Tri-Cap has slinked 15 yards down field.

Tri-Cap joins two players on the next play, an esterification play, that is such a beautifully designed play, that Tri-Cap comes out smelling like a rose.

Shake It Up!

The play drops Tri-Cap back in the pocket while two WRs mix it up, stirring up the DBs in a bowl of confusion. As both WRs run button hook routes near each other, one WR takes one step towards Tri-Cap on the button hook, then cuts right in front of the other WR rubbing off the Maybelline DB.

Before the defense can react, they are busted in the face with a cloud of beautifully smelling ethers. Tri-Cap completes the pass 20 yards down field, and the WR breaks into the open field to run for another 21 yards.

Tri-Cap’s next three plays are smooth as silk as he lives up to his reputation with runs of 7, 9, and 4 yards.

On 2nd down from the 4 yard line, Tri-Cap receives the ball in the shotgun with 2 WRs to the left and 2 WRs to the right. Without breaking a sweat, Tri-Cap lets the defensive lineman rush up the field past him as Tri-Cap makes a break for the end zone and is in for a TOUCHDOWN! The extra point (great smells) is GOOD!

After a kickoff return for 60 yards by the Maybelline NY Dream Foundation returner, Cyclopentasiloxane opens the first drive from the Bobbi Brown 43 yard line.

Cyclopentasiloxane ran off left tackle slipping defenders for 6 yards.

Cyclopentasiloxane up the middle for -2 yards as Bobbi Brown’s defense blitzes several blemishes.

Cyclopentasiloxane 39 yard pass from the Maybelline NY Dream Foundation quarterback for a TOUCHDOWN! The extra point (a silky feel) is GOOD!

Bobbi Brown Sends in Tubs of Ethylhexyl Palmitate

The Bobbi Brown coach decides to go big with Ethylhexyl Palmitate.

After returning the kickoff to the 23 yard line, Bobbi Brown smells the fatty odor of Ethylhexyl Palmitate and sends him in to do some damage.

Ethylhexyl Palmitate (EP) lines up on the first play at TE, and receives a pass in the flat. Being a talented carrying agent, defenders aren’t able to drag him down before he carries them down field for a total of 19 yards.

The Bobbi Brown QB then hands off to EP as a running back, and EP see clear and colorless holes in the line. Before anyone can see him, he’s gained 20 yards.

Hurrying up to the line of scrimmage, Bobbi Brown calls the same play, but the defense sees EP clearly and he’s stopped for a 1 yard gain.

The QB then drops back to pass, and EP curls around the blocking line to receive a middle pass for 9 yards and a first down.

With another hurry up play, EP receives the handoff, but the defense sniffs out his fatty odor early in this play and drops EP in the backfield for a 1 yard loss.

EP lines up in the slot and runs a “drag” route. The QB completes the pass for 8 yards.

On 3rd and 3 yards, EP runs a crossing pattern, and slips past the defender on the pattern. The QB delivers the pass for 20 yards, stretching for the end zone, is marked down at the 1 yard line.

Hurrying up to the line of scrimmage again, Ethylhexyl Palmitate takes the hand off and oozes through the middle of the line for a TOUCHDOWN! The extra point (being a solvent) is GOOD!

Polymethylmethacrylate Fills in for Maybelline NY

Looking to respond to the Bobbi Brown touchdown, the Maybelline NY Dream Foundation coach sends in Polymethylmethacrylate to try and bridge the scoring gap.

Polymethylmethacrylate, also known as Polly MMA by teammates, is good at bridging gaps. Some of Polly MMAs talents include being used as a filler for wrinkles and fine skin lines.

Polly MMA is also used by Maybelline NY as a lubrication enhancer for its foundation. Polly MMA has sometimes commits fouls causing redness and occasion allergic reactions.

On the kickoff, Bobbi Brown’s special teams pinned the returner at the 13 yard line. Polly MMA opens up filling the gap the offensive line provided off of right tackle and smoothly glides up field for 7 yards to the 20.

On second down, Polly MMA lines up as a wideout and steps back for an out pass. The Maybelline NY lineman were feeling an allergic reaction to Polly MMA and were itching to get up field to block for Polly MMA. The referee threw the flag for an ineligible player downfield wiping out what would have been a 17 yard gain.

After the 5 yard penalty, the Maybelline NY quarterback lined up in the shotgun and dumped a pass to Polly MMA. Polly MMA pushed forward for a 6 yard gain as the 1st quarter expires.

On 3rd down and 2, Polly MMA lines up as a wideout and ran a comeback curl route. But, the pass was off, and Polly MMA had a bad reaction and wasn’t able to pull the pass in.

On 4th down, Maybelline NY punted 43 yards to the Bobbi Brown return man who scampered 8 yards up field before being knocked out of bounds.

Bobbi Brown Sends in the Slick Cetyl Dimethicone

Starting with good field position, the BB coach looks to Cetyl Dimethicone to take control of the game.

Cetyl Dimethicone brings an elusive “slickness” to the game. Having earned the C-Dime nickname through crafty and smooth play, Cetyl Dimethicone looks to make a statement on the game with this drive.

C-Dime looking to make a quick impact, slips through left tackle with a strong burst for 10 yards before the Maybelline NY safety tags him with a jolting hit. But, not before making a 1st down.

Bad Hair Day

On the next play, C-Dime still reeling a little from the previous play slips up on a pitch play. His O-line looking to give him time to get back up, end up getting caught holding on while trying to defend having a bad hair day. The accusation sticks and the team is sent back 10 yards for holding.

On 1st down and 20, C-Dime lines up to block for the BB QB. As the play develops, C-Dime slips out for a short pass route and the BB QB dumps the ball off to him. The play goes for 7 yards.

C-Dime lines up again in the backfield to block. On a delayed pattern, C-Dime circles around the right end and back to the middle of the field. As C-Dime receives the pass, he accelerates past the Maybelline NY LBs towards the sidelines. He is able to make the corner and turn up field before being knocked out of bound for a 14 yard gain.

After getting the 1st down, C-Dime runs the ball on 1st down and gets a respectable 5 yards off-guard.

On the next play C-Dime runs a “curl” route and is able to catch the ball for another 11 yards and another 1st down. C-Dime is really greasing up the skids now.

On 1st down at the 19 yard line C-Dime goes for another 7 yards off guard. The Maybelline NY defense is really reeling now and are looking exhausted.

Sensing this, the BB coach rams it down the Maybelline NY defenses through with another run up the middle for 10 yards and then again for 2 yards and a TOUCHDOWN! The extra point (C-Dime is also a skin-conditioning agent) is GOOD!

Maybelline NY Dream Inserts Methylparaben into the Game

With the crowd going wild after the touchdown, the Bobbi Brown kicker rides the adrenalin rush and boots the kickoff out of the end zone for a touch back.

The Maybelline NY Dream Foundation coach looks down his bench for someone that can let a little air out of the building. Someone that can calm the team down and get everyone back on track.

Methylparaben seems like the best fit for this job, so coach sends him into the game. With his boring features, the coach is hoping to maybe grind out a couple of first downs, and get the crowd calmed down.

Like we said, Methylparaben really is boring. With features like:

Lack of odor

Tasteless

Doesn’t irritate

The main concern from the Maybelline NY Dream coach are the rumors swirling around Methylparaben that hint that he might cause cancer.

Going Backwards

To start the drive, Methylparaben tries a boring tasteless, odorless run up the middle. The Bobbi Brown LBs are practically drooling at the mouth and hit Methylparaben in the back field for a 2 yard loss.

On 2nd down, Methylparaben lines up in the backfield next to the QB who is in the shotgun. On the snap, Methylparaben stays in to block briefly, and then pretending to not irritate the blizting LB, Methylparaben moves up field and quickly turns. The QB seeing the LB barreling down dumps the pass off to Methylparaben, who makes the first defender miss, and scoots up field for 8 yards.

On third down, Methylparaben lines up in the slot and runs a quick slant pattern. The ball is delivered, but as Methylparaben was coming off the line, the Bobbi Brown LB called out “I’ve got cancer boy”. Methylparaben was distracted for only a moment, but that moment took his eyes off the ball, and Methylparaben wasn’t able to pull in the pass.

On 4th down, Methylparaben boomed a 59 yard punt to the Bobbi Brown 15 yard line. The BB punt returner caught the ball running backwards, and was able to reverse up field before being driven out of bounds at the 19 yard line.

Bobbi Brown Thinks It’s Slick Using Silica

The Bobbi Brown coach thinks things are going very well in this game. With this feeling the BB coach slips Silica into the game.

Silica offers a plethora of talents include:

Abrasive

Absorbent

Anticaking Agent

Bulking Agent

Opacifying Agent

Suspending Agent – Nonsurfactant

Silica starts off the drive at the 19 yards line in the shotgun. Taking the snap, Silica almost immediately has to spin away from a rushing defensive lineman.

Silica is able to avoid the rush, but after the spin, spots the TE down field. Being Silica’s favorite target, Silica zips the ball in to the TE.

But, the ball never gets to the TE as a Maybelline NY Dream Foundation Safety cuts in front of the BB TE for an interception.

The Maybelline NY Safety sprints to the sideline to try and take the corner, but is pushed out of bounds at the Bobbi Brown 23 yard line after an 11 yard return.

Maybelline Looks to Strike Quick with Polymethylsilsesquioxane

After the turnover, the Maybelline NY Dream Foundationcoach is looking for a quick strike. And, sends in Polymethylsilsesquioxane.

Polymethylsilsesquioxane is a single minded talent that provides substance with regard to color. Polymethylsilsesquioxane is not transparent with its talent and the defense often knows what Polymethylsilsesquioxane will do.

That doesn’t mean that the defense can stop Polymethylsilsesquioxane.

Polymethylsilsesquioxane lines up at RB, and the Maybelline coach starts pummelling the line of scrimmage with run. After runs of 7, 4, and 1, the Maybelline coach calls a play action pass play.

The defense isn’t ready and grabs Polymethylsilsesquioxane on the pass play to keep him from getting past the secondary for a wide open TD pass. The penalty is for defensive holding and give Maybelline a first down on the 3 yard line.

Polymethylsilsesquioxane then doing what it does, takes two more hand offs and powers into the end zone from the 2 yard line for a TOUCHDOWN! The extra point (Polymethylsilsesquioxane is resistant to water) is GOOD!

Bobbi Brown Mirrors Opponent with Polymethylsilsesquioxane

Seeing what Maybelline NY’s Polymethylsilsesquioxane did to the BB defense, the BB coach decides to send the BB version of Polymethylsilsesquioxane out.

Just like the Maybelline NY version, the BB Polymethylsilsesquioxane version provides the ability to murkify things.

That is, before adding PollyMessQ (as known to the BB team), you can see clearly. After mixing in some PollyMessQ, everything is much less clear.

In addition, PollyMessQ provides a silky, smooth, almost lubricating feel to anything it touches. This talent is what makes PollyMessQ difficult to tackle in Lotion Challenge league games.

After the kickoff was downed deep in the end zone, PollyMessQ came out for the first play of this drive.

With only a little over 2 minutes until halftime, PollyMessQ was going to have to confuse and be obscure to the defense. And, do that quickly.

On the first play, PollyMessQ lines up in the slot. At the snap, PollyMessQ jabs a foot forward to fake the defense backwards, and turns to receive a quick pass from the BB QB.

Smooth Moves

PollyMessQ catches the pass, and with silky, smooth moves, hides behind blockers while moving up field. After some obscure, deceptive moves up field, PollyMessQ bounces to the outside and like a jack rabbit makes the corner before turning up the side lines.

Feeling the safety coming to lay a big hit, PollyMessQ steps out of bounds 15 yard down field. But, the Maybelline NY safety want to leave an impression on PollyMessQ, and delivers the hit anyways.

The referee see the hit as late and the unnecessary roughness call tacks on another 15 yards to bring the ball to midfield on one play. The play takes the clock up to the 2 minute warning.

On the next play, PollyMessQ lines up in the backfield and takes a draw play handoff. PollyMessQ zips straight up the middle before being tripped up. The play goes for 5 yards.

With the clock running, BB goes to the no huddle offense, and PollyMessQ starts in the backfield. After a clip block to slow down the rush, PollyMessQ curls underneath and accepts a short pass. PollyMessQ turns up field and is tackled after 7 yards and a first down.

With the clock still running, the BB offense hurries back to the line of scrimmage. PollyMessQ goes in motion and at the snap runs a down and out. After one step on the out, PollyMessQ plants a foot and turns back to the inside. The BB QB pass is right on target and PollyMessQ turns up field for a big gain for 15 yards.

Timeout

The BB coach calls a timeout with 56 seconds left. The commentators are a little curious at the timeout call as there is still 58 seconds left in the half. If BB scores too quickly, they shouldn’t leave so much time on the clock.

On the next play, PollyMessQ runs the same down and out play with the same cut back. The play works again like a charm. PollyMessQ receives the pass easily and makes a move on the first defender. PollyMessQ leaps for the end zone, but PollyMessQ’s knee hits the turf before the ball crosses.

The BB coach uses their 2nd timeout. This move is really unnecessary as there are 46 seconds on the clock and the ball is on the 1 yard line. BB also has 2 timeouts when they take this timeout. If they run off 30 seconds (plenty of time to call a huddled play), they still have 14 seconds and 2 timeout AFTER the 1st down play. Poor clock management. We’ll see if this comes back to haunt the BB coach later.

On the next play after the timeout, PollyMessQ takes a handoff and practically walks into the end zone for a TOUCHDOWN! The extra point (can repel water) is GOOD!

Maybelline NY Dream Foundation Tries to Take Advantage

The Bobbi Brown Stick coach left 40 seconds on the clock before halftime. Can the Maybelline NY coach take advantage?

Squalane is the chosen one to give it a try.

The BB kicker does his job by sailing the kickof 9 yard deep into the end zone. The Maybelline NY return man plays it smart and lets the ball bound out of the end zone for a touchback.

Squalane bring several talents to the game. Having no color and having no odor make it difficult to pick up Squalane in a crowd.

The Silent Killer

Squalane also is occlusive in his ways, almost providing a shield over the offense. Squalane also works will with others using his emollient properties.

With only 40 seconds on the clock and 3 timeouts, the Maybelline NY coach starts conservative. Squalane starts in the backfield and pretends to block up the middle. After brushing by a defensive tackle, Squalane turns and receives a short pass. Darting up field quickly Squalane dives for a 6 yard gain and calls a quick timeout.

On 2nd down, Squalane lines up at WR and runs a slant pass. The Maybelline NY QB zips the pass to Squalane on the run and Squalane is able to pick up 15 yards before the defense can even sniff him out. Maybelline NY again taks a quick timeout. Thier 2nd timeout with 28 seconds until half time and still 58 yards from the end zone.

Da Bomb!

Needing a big play, the Maybelline NY coach calls a play that looks like a bomb. Squalane stays in to block to give the WRs time to get down field. The Maybelline NY QB is almost sacked twice as he scrambles around. With the defense spread deep, the QB dumps the pass off to Squalane as he sneaks out of the backfield. A defender tried to grab Squalane, but Squalane breaks free and catches the short pass.

With the defense covering the WRs deep, Squalane has a lot of running room and speeds up field. With a cut at the 50, Squalane heads for the sidelines. About to be pushed out of bounds, a WR comes back and gives Squalane a fantastic blind side block that frees Squalane at the 40. The Bobbi Brown defense is now coming from the other side of the field and Squalane tries to cut between to defenders at the 30 and is tripped up. Squalane still manages to balance for several yards and falls at the 23 yard line and calls the last timeout with 17 seconds on the clock.

Clock Running Out

With very little time on the clock, the Maybelline NY coach takes a chance with another pass play. Squalane goes in motion to the slot and cuts back across the middle of the field to catch the pass. Sprinting for the sidelines, Squalane dives out of bounds at the 14 yard line to stop the clock at 11 seconds.

Squalane then lines up in the slot and runs a short slant. The QB zips the pass in hard and low, and Squalane can’t haul it in. This is probably lucky for Maybelline NY as Squalane wasn’t going to make it into the end zone. It would have been difficult for Maybelline NY to get another play off before the end of the half.

With only 5 seconds on the clock, the Maybelline NY coach orders Squalane to kick the short FG. Squalane sniffs for any odor of wind. Finding none, Squalane calls for the snap and kicks the ball easily through the uprights for a 32 yard FG as the clock expires!

Maybelline NY Looks to Find Momentum Coming Out of Halftime

Maybelline NY came out flat and let Bobbi Brown jump all over them to start the game.

As the game progressed, Maybelline NY began to right the ship. The FG going into halftime was a huge lift for Maybelline NY.

They will look to continue building on the play the put out late in the 2nd quarter.

The Bobbi Brown coach make regret leaving 40 seconds on the clock to give Maybelline NY enough time to get those extra 3 points.

It sure seemed like the BB coach was taking timeouts way too early where just doing hurry up, or spiking the ball to stop the clock would have been a better strategy.

Maybelline NY Opens 2nd Half with Methylparaben

To open the second half, the Maybelline NY Dream Foundation coach wants to build on some of the momentum gained at the end of the first half.

So, he sends out Methylparaben to try and give a good smell to the game with his Fragrance. Methylparaben also is a preservative. So, the coach is looking for a strong (smelling) opening drive that can preserve the momentum.

Methylparaben stumbles out of the gate on the kickoff by getting a penalty to put Maybelline NY in a hole.

Starting at their own 10 yard line Methylparaben has a look of nervousness on his face. But, with some good smelling plays Methylparaben know he can cover that all up.

Methylparaben is also rumored to have some “off the field” problems. A couple of articles came out blasting Methylparaben for his affect on skin with concerns about skin safety.

With a YoYo type of drive, Methylparaben has not so sweet smelling plays for no gain or losses. But, mixes in some big plays that move the chains down the field while preserving the drive.

But, penalties kill the drive in the end as Methylparaben can’t get away from the reports about dangerous skin play. Methylparaben ends the drive with a moderate punt that is returned back into their own territory.

Bobbi Brown Tries to Glitter with Mica

After his defense made a nice stop on the opening drive, the Bobbi Brown coach looks to try and bury Maybelline with an early 2nd half score.

“She Holds Sparkle in the Palm of Her Hand” by Kate Ter Haar (CC BY 2.0), via Flickr.com

Coach sprinkle a little Mica into the game. Mica is a pizzazz play for the BB coach. This is a player with flash and sparkle.

Mica’s big talent is reflecting light from the tiny specks of brittle silicate minerals. He brings color to the game with these constant tiny reflections. But, bad press has been following Mica around.

Some say he is all sparkle and not substance. There have even been rumors that if inhaled he can cause lung problems.

But, in a lotion, none of these rumors should come into play. But, you never know who’s been watching TMZ and seeing those damning pictures of Mica doing who knows what at 2am in the morning.

It looks like the referees were watching that TMZ episode, because they think they seem movement in Mica’s shimmer and flag him for a false start. Replay shows the ref just needs shades as Mica wasn’t moving.

Finally getting the drive started, Mica takes a hand off and heads towards the right side. With the right guard pushed back, Mica reflects to the outside, but the defensive end is waiting for a 1 yard loss.

Mica then drops back to pass, but the offensive line is beaten on the right side, and the referees are again quick with the flag pushing BB back another 10 yards.

Mica is able to get back 20 yards on the next two plays. But, it’s not enough and Bobbi Brown has Mica punt on 4th down. Mica takes a little off of the punt to try and pin Maybelline deep in their own territory. The Maybelline receiver calls for a fair catch at his own 13 yards line.

Maybelline Stonewalls Bobbi with Phenyltrimethicone

Now that Maybelline has had some success slowing down a fast starting Bobbi Brown, the Maybelline New York Dream Team coach is ready to send out some dreamy talent.

Coach wipes the foam from his mouth and sends in Phenyltrimethicone, also known as FinnyTrim.

FinnyTrim not only helps his coach by keeping him from foaming at the mouth, FinnyTrim brings skin conditioning and skin barrier functions to the game. His game is derived from natural minerals quartz and opal.

FinnyTrim starts this drive deep in his own territory and will need to do moving and shaking to at least come out of this drive with field position. His anti-foaming talents will keep that moving and shaking under control.

On this drive, FinnyTrim is able to orchastrate his offensive lineman into forming a barrier to keep the defense off of his skin. And, this line is up to the task early in the drive with plays of 9, 4, and 22 yards.

Using his thick head, FinnyTrim shows viscosity with driving gains of 7 yards, followed by a rare defensive play where FinnyTrim momentarily lost his surface tension and is dropped for no gain.

This sets up a 3rd down and 3 yards play where FinnyTrim goes in motion from right to left. At the snap, FinnyTrim cuts up field against the grain and the QB zips a pass to FinnyTrim in stride.

FinnyTrim wipes the foam off of defenders like they are little bottoms receiving baby wipes. He busts into the open field and is gone. TOUCHDOWN!

Coach liking the momentum decides to give FinnyTrim a chance to go for 2. He has FinnyTrim line up in the slot. At the snap, FinnyTrim takes a step towards the middle. The QB fakes a quick pass and lofts the ball towards the outside of the end zone where FinnyTrim catches the ball with his skin conditioned hands.

Bobbi Brown Tries To Dust Itself Off With Talc?

With a clear shift in momentum, the Bobbi Brown Foundation Stick coach looks a little flustered.

Coach then makes a rash decision and sends Talc into the game.

Talc isn’t a bad player. He does provide skin protection, is absorbant, and can provide anticaking talents. However, Talc is a very abrasive player that can fly off the handle and sometimes spews
fibers from his mouth causing toxicity to teammates.

But, Talc looks ready and takes the field after the touchback. However, teammates are not on board with the decision to put Talc in the game and Talc is hit hard for 4 yard loss after practically no blocking was provided. Dust rises into the air as Talc is sandwiched hard on the hit.

After the flustered WR drops a pass, the team commits an illegal formation to put the BB offense in big whole. But, gritty Talc isn’t done yet. On a scrambling run, Talc avoids several wet blanket defenders and slides for a 1st down.

Going hurry up to try and get some rhythm, Talc completes a quick out pass for another 1st down.

But, BB just doesn’t want to respond to Talc. The next 2 plays lose 2 yards, and the short pass on 3rd down isn’t enough as the punt team comes onto the field.

Talc pooch punts the ball short and high and it puffs into the hands of the punt returner who has to call for a fair catch to keep the powder out of his eyes. Maybelline NY starts their drive at the 11.