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Im sat here at 2am crying sat in the spare room, whilst my husband trys to settle J. J has spent the last hour screaming and thrashing around. He wants cuddles but then claws and hits you. Im so unbelievable fed up of this reflux. I hate seeing J in pain and not being able to do anything.

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Its now 2.30 we now have tv on in the bedroom to distract J . It is slowly sort of working

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Its now 3.20 J has finally gone to sleep. Hopefully he will at least give me a hour . Im not even going to attempt to put him in his cot

This is my first time being tagged by another blogger. I think the whole idea is quiet fun and a good way to get to know each other better. You get to find out more about our life behind the scenes. Thanks to Donna at Redhead Babyled for the tag!

1. Are you a Stay at Home Mum, or a Working Mum?

Before J was born I worked full time in a hairdressers as a stylist. In all honesty i have never wanted not to work , I would get far to bored. In fact myself and my husband often joked that if we could afford it he would be a SAHD. When J was born I took several months off on maternity leave returning to work part time when J was 8 months.

2. Would you have it any other way?

I like to think I have a nice mixture at the moment . When i am having a bad day with J I know I will get a break at work . This also goes both ways though as I miss him so much when I’m away from him. That makes the several night waking’s much more bearable. I take my hat off to all stay at home parents, it is such a hard job raising a child.

3. Do you co-sleep?

Yes – Sleep is non-existent as it is, so anything that helps I’m all for it. We have never been anti co-sleeping so when we realised that it was the only option we went along with it. I believe when done safely it is the most natural way. J normally starts the night in his own cot bed and then when he wakes in the night i bring him into our bed. When he was little we set up the cot bed as a sidecar cot in our room.

4. What is your one must-have item for your baby?

Slings!!! although once you start ill be impressed if you stick to one. I currently own 3. A Wallabi Wraptai, Maya ring sling and a Diddymos Jakob size 5 wrap.

5. How many kids do you plan on having?

I always wanted 2 and my husband wanted 3 , however that has changed since J has arrived. I love J to pieces but the worry of ending up with Post Natal Depression again is too much. I feel that i have missed out on so many happy times with J growing up . The first few months are such a blur and I cannot go through that again . It would not be good for my mental health, or my marriage. I am so lucky to have such a supportive husband and family but I cannot see myself going through all of this again or at least in the next 10 years. If it was just the PND it wouldn’t be so bad, but that thrown in with sleepless nights, allergies and reflux has worn me down. My husband agrees and he has also changed his mind about having another child. Hey in 10 years we might go through it all again but i honestly cannot see that happening at the moment.

6. Date night? How many nights per month?

At the minute it isn’t that often as we are busy renovating our new house to move into. However once we have moved J will be having a sleepover at grandmas once a week. We will definitely have a date night at least twice a month, be it a film night or going out for a meal. I do think it is important to make sure you spend time together as a couple and remember you are not just mum and dad.

7. Your child’s favourite show?

Mr Tumble! I don’t know what it is about Justin but this is the only programme that makes J stop running around for more than 2 minutes. I love the fact that he is learning sign language as well. I always wanted to take him to baby sign but again this is another thing i didn’t manage to do because of the PND.

8. Name one thing you bought before you had your baby and never ended up using?

I don’t think there is anything we never used. We were quiet frugal when shopping for baby things , so we only bought things we knew we would need. Even then we mainly bought second-hand, used vouchers or when things were on offer.

9. Your child’s favourite food?

Food is a bit hit and miss in this house depending on if the reflux is under control or not. I don’t think J has a favourite although he is partial to a spaghetti Bolognese. His dad took him out this week and he loved poppadum’s apparently. That was mainly because he could play and crunch them up first. As long as he eats something I’m not too fussed.

10. How many cars does your family have?

2 – Husband had a Land rover discovery up un-till recently. Now we are the owner of a Volvo estate family car . I have a Toyota Yaris that I proudly bought after saving up my wages when I was about 19. I find it too small as the main family car now and also the fact it is only 3 doors is a nightmare. Clearly when I was 19 I was not thinking about the logistics of a baby. This is the main reason we ended up with the Volvo as we needed something more practical. The plan is that husband uses the Yaris to drive on the motorway to work, as its more economical being a diesel.

11. Weight gain before pregnancy, during and after and now?

Before I had J I was a tiny 7st 5lb, i am only 5’1 though. I lost a lot of weight before the wedding by eating healthy and walking a lot more. Weigh loss wasn’t the aim but it just happened. I put 4 stone on in pregnancy!!! I was in the, I’m pregnant I can eat what I want camp. This was mainly chocolate as my friend kept giving me it every time I saw him. Something about keeping a pregnant woman happy. When I weighed myself after J was born I weighed 10st 5lb. I started to hover around the 10st mark, I wanted to loose a bit of weight so that i could get my wedding rings back on. I am currently 9st 8lb but really struggling to loose anymore .

12. Dream holiday with your kids?

Caravanning or camping somewhere in the UK . Ideally Cornwall. I love being by the coast and having a relaxing walk. I do hope to go abroad when J is older but i have no idea when as my husband has never had a passport!.

13. Dream holiday without your kids?

I don’t think i could go on holiday without J. Maybe a weekend spa break but that’s it really.

14. How has your life changed since your baby has been born?

I’ve not had a decent nights sleep in a year !!. Obviously suffering from PND has changed my life massively. imp glad i got over the anxiety attacks that i was having early on, as that was horrible. We have also bought a house since J was born and are still currently renovating it . This means that we have moved in with my parents whilst we do it. Unfortunately because of this my husband is spending a lot of time at the house. I’m looking forward to having more time together as a family when it is finished. We also unfortunately had to rehome our dog as he kept trying to herd J , he was a border collie. This is another massive down point in my life that i will blog about when i feel that i can.
However it is so worth dealing with all of this because J is my world and every time he laughs or smiles he makes my heart melt. I love the fact that I have someone that relies on me and I care look after and cherish him.

15. Finish the sentence: ‘It makes my heart melt to see …

This smile

16. Where do you shop for your kids?

I am a lover of bargains , so i mainly buy second hand off Facebook selling pages. I managed to get a massive job lot of toys for £15. We are lucky to have been gifted a lot of clothes for J as well. I think i only had to start buying stuff when he was around 8 months old. The shops that i do like are NEXT, Sainsbury’s and Asda for clothes. ToysRus is also a favourite for bits and bobs such as Sophie

17. Favourite makeup and skincare products?

I’m not really one for makeup and skincare. I generally use Dream Matte Mouse foundation. I do like Estee Lauder double wear though, I used this for my wedding.

18. Huggies or Pampers?

Neither i love Aldi nappies and for the price its even better. I did want to use cloth nappies but even though i have a massive stash i haven’t got around to using them as they are in storage.

19. Have you always wanted kids?

Yes I always wanted to grow up get married and have children. Your typical 2.4 average family.

20. Best part about being a mum?

Snuggling with J . I love the rare occasion J will happily relax in our bed in the morning whilst we have a cup of coffee. I cannot wait till he is older and we can have film nights in bed snuggling.

Nowadays it is very rare not to see a mobile phone glued to someone’s hand. Even then, if its not a mobile its a laptop or a tablet. Now don’t get me wrong, I do believe that children nowadays spend far to much time using technology. Hey you cant blame them, it is fantastic. I remember when i was in primary school we only had one computer next to the headmasters office. I’m only 24, so not that long ago really. Whereas nowadays its not a surprise to see a family out for a meal with their 3yr old playing on an Ipad, keeping them occupied. I always said i wouldn’t be one of those parents, but in all honesty I probably will let J play on them when i need a minute to myself. (but not at meal times.)

There is a point to this post, and this is that the internet is an amazing thing. Without the internet there would be no Facebook , and without Facebook we would all die!!!!. Ha ,no not really but without Facebook i would not have ‘met’ such a lovely group of ladies. Some people say that internet friends don’t count, but in all honesty I would say my internet friends are my true friends. I first ‘met’ my internet mummy friends (IMF) when i joined a Facebook group with other pregnant woman. It was actual a money saving baby group ,although I’m sure we are all a bad influence on each other buying things we ‘need’ BUY ALLDASLINGZ!!!!. We started talking about general baby/pregnancy topics, including all the not so glamorous pregnancy symptoms . We soon got to know each other though and now we talk about anything. I would say that they know more about me than my real life friends. Also without one very special mummy i would never have started this blog, i am so thankful for all the time and help she has given me.

When J was around 3months old we actually met up in a family friendly pub in Blackpool . Obviously not everyone could meet as we are scattered all over the country. I was so nervous but when i was pregnant i said to myself that i have to make an effort to get out more and make friends. I wasn’t up to going alone as the thought of driving to Blackpool on the motorway with a 3month old terrified me. My mum came with me. When we all met in person for the first time you wouldn’t have thought it . It was like we had know each other for ages. I know that others more south in the country have also met up and i believe they feel the same way.

When the babies were born we were all supportive of each other , those late night /early morning feeds can really take it out of you. You can start to feel so alone stuck in the robotic loop of feed,change,settle,sleep,feed . I was so grateful of the random chatting’s at 3am just to keep me company. We are a group of very different people, however none of us judge each other for any of our parenting decisions. Be that Breast feeding, Formula feeding. Feeding puree food or BLW. Pram lovers or babywearing . You get the point. Without them and my fantastic family i don’t believe i would have got through PND and got to the point i am at now. When i was feeling really low they sent me a surprise. It was a photo book of all the mummy’s and babies , with messages to me to help me feel more positive when i need it.

i just want to say a public Thank you to each and everyone of the Mummys

Last week I went to Tescos to stock up on food for J. Im becoming more aware of how much ‘extras’ are in food. This has come from having to read all packaging to see if its dairy, soya and banana free. This resulted in one of the healthiest shops I have done. I was plesently surprised that it did not cost as much as i was expecting. This is normally one of the downfalls of having to shop dairy and soya free.

As you can see i managed to buy quiet a selection of food for J to try. (Not the green tea that was for me ). I bought Vitalite on the reccomendation from alot of people in a fantstic CMPA support group. I also bought some tinned cocunut milk from the world food isle. However i have no idea how to use it to cook with. Can you direct me to a easy recipe?
Amongst the items that I had picked up were Plum, Little Yums, Apple Spinach and Kale wafers. The more of the Plum products i buy the more i am liking them. (well J is)

I was expecting the items just to be loose in the box but they actually came in handy little packets containing three wafers . These are usefull to take out in lunch boxes.

J loved these and had fun eating them. They are actually not that messy as some finger foods can be. When I gave J these he actually sat still and ate them nicely. Which was a nice change as he is normally running around at 100 miles an hour to busy to even sit down to eat. The carpet can vouch for that after the whole pancake relay saga.

I will definetly be trying some other products of the Plum range, and seeing how J rates them. Are there any others you would reccomed?

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THESE CONTAIN MILK!!!! After J came out in a reaction rash the other morning i read the individual packet ingredients list.

Im sure the box didnt say it contained milk, If anything it would have said ‘may contain’. I need to go back to the supermarket and check as I recycled the box.

It starts by walking up the stairs , tippy toeing as you go along. You get half way and realise you have forgotten nappy/bottle/dummy/teething gel/monitor delete as appropriate.
You try again and manage to reach the landing . In your celebration you drop your phone, you freeze, waiting for the cry through the nursery door, nothing, yes we escaped it this time. You begin the mission impossible routine, shuffling your weight on you tip toes , following a certain patter to avoid the dredded squeaky floorboards.
You make it to the bedroom , breath a sigh of relief. You get settled in bed just enough time to relax and get comfy when… wahhhhhh wahhhhhh … and the the baby dance begins. …

Today was the start of the Aldi baby event. We already knew we wanted to get the cheap hauck buggy (for grandma’s car) . The plan was to get two baby gates for the new house, although by then J will probably be doing back flips over them.

This is what we ended up with. It was a challange in its self trying to fit it all in a shopping trolley aswell as J. I needed L plates as a drove into a lady aswell, she was ok dont worry.

I love the fact that my mum watches J for me when im at work. I can relax totally knowing that he is ok.
I dont have to worry about her feeding him anything he cannot have , as she knows how it affects him.

She occasionally sends me photos of what they are up to. This is great as I dont feel like im missing out.

Today they have been to see Milo and Mate. Milo is abit giddy so had to stay behind the gate. J definitely takes after his mum and dad as he loves animals

When I was pregnant I already knew I wanted to wear my baby in a carrier. This was more for practicality purposes at first , mainly walking the dog, holidays in Wales etc.
I started to research about all the different types of carriers , I quickly realised that your standard off the shelf ones were not the best choice . They do not support the optimum position for your baby, and not only that apparently once the baby got bigger/ heavier they were not very comfy.

My first sling was a ebay cheapy mei tai, it was plain black on one side and red paisley design on the other. Mum and dad friendly :). This was easy enough to use with a teddy , however with a newborn I couldn’t figure out how best to use it. This was later sent to Turkey to enable a friend .

I also ordered a black stretchy wrap when I was pregnant. When it first arrived I opened the parcel, I couldn’t believe how long the piece of fabric was. I immediately thought what on earth had I done. I then I got a teddy ( a very important bit of kit for any future babywearer) stood in front of the mirror and begin to wrap. After a few attempts I got the hang of it , just had to wait for the baby now.
This quickly became my favourite wrap as it was so easy to put it on in the morning and just pop J in and out as the day went along, Even my mum carried J using it. My Husband did attempt to go out using it once, which I was impressed , he did however come back carrying J not in the sling as he couldn’t figure out how to wrap him back up .

I then found out about sling library’s and started to fall down the slippery slope of collecting a stash of slings. I originally wanted to hire a buckle carrier for my husband as we thought he would find it easier. Following this I bought a Connecta solarweave , this summer was so hot that I needed something light to carrier J around in. I had already bought a Didymos Jakob as our legacy wrap , even though I had no idea how to use it ,but hey that’s what Youtube is for right ? .

I have since bought a Wallabi Wraptai, this has quickly become my favourite. The plan was to sell the Connecta but my mum has decided that I’m not allowed as that is now hers. So this is how I now have a stash of slings.

Considering I was only planning on using a carrier for practicality it has become a life saver. The realities of having an allergy reflux baby soon kicked in . The early days are such a blur but I would not of made it through without a sling. They have seriously saved my sanity , as far as possible, and when I’m having a bad day it makes me feel so close to my baby that my heart could burst.