Dyslexic MPs demand a raise in their weekly "celery"

Dyslexic MPs were today accused of exploiting their disability to further their own political ambitions.

In a strongly worded letter to the Grauniad, the leader of the dyslexic parliamentarian union has asked for an overall increase in weekly celery, a review of MPs expanses and a home second within their constitutionary for reason of commuting porpoises.

This letter provoked an immediate response from the union for ministers without memory who, in a letter to the Telegraph, asked: "Dyslexic ministers should be treated the same way as anyone else."

The spokesman then went on to ask what the Hell he was doing in parliament when he was supposed to be in Waitrose and then asked what he had done with his shopping list.

This was followed by a heated exchange in the house between the minister without portfolio and the minister with the wrong portfolio who then didn't have the faintest idea what he was supposed to be arguing about.

The portfolio without a minister made no comment and the minister who had a portfolio but not necessarily the right portfolio asked if they could come back to him later.

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