I'm not the Mom, I'm just the Stork!

Monday, November 2, 2015

Most of you know by now that April 26, 2015 my youngest child was diagnosed with cancer (after I brought him into urgent care because he was acting differently all of a sudden and his complaints about stomach pain came back).

What you didn't know was that just four days earlier, April 22, Erin and I flew down to Los Angeles for our medical and psychological screening for my 4th and last surrogacy journey. I was excited to help one of my IPs with a sibling project and even more excited that Erin was going to be a part of it. She's read my blog, heard my stories, met some of my IPs but it's not the same, so I was so excited about it.

Here we are in the waiting room after our blood draw:

And here I am getting vocally prepared for my vaginal ultrasound . . . what do you mean that's not a microphone? (JK, this isn't my first rodeo)

Look what Erin found!

Obviously, since this is the first you're probably hearing about this, unless you're my immediate family or in one of my surrogate groups, we were unable to continue with the journey. We did try to make it work at first, all deciding that we could wait a few months until Sawyer's battle with cancer was over. Erin and I were told that because it was Burkitt's Lymphoma, his road map was only a few months long, so we had every intention of moving forward after. We would focus all our energy on our family to make it through this, and then when Sawyer was cured, we'd continue where we left off. But as some of you know, if you follow us at all on Facebook, Sawyer's battle is taking longer and has turned into something much larger than any of us anticipated. Refractory Cancer with two stem cell transplants in his future.

When Sawyer's second scan after a few rounds of chemo came back as still positive for cancer, my IPs and I discussed our journey. I let them know that while I would love to be a part of this, that it would be a longer wait than we thought and that wasn't fair to them. I told them that I was fine with them moving forward with someone else, I know Growing Generations had many other surrogates that would be a great fit for them and any of those women could be so lucky to have my IPs. I was sad it couldn't be me, but my own family comes first and they would always have a special place in my heart, even if their next baby didn't shack up with me for 9 months.

Now, I'm not sharing any more of their journey because it's not mine to share, however, I did want to share with you my 4th journey, no matter how short. And not that I think that things happen for a reason, because there is NO REASON my 8 year old got cancer, I will say that I thank (enter your deity here) every day that Sawyer was diagnosed before I had my transfer. I couldn't imagine how much harder the last 5 months would've been if I was also pregnant . . . for me, my family, their family, that fetus.

I also have a renewed admiration for the science that is third party reproduction. I love helping parents have children they couldn't have without the help of a sperm donor, egg donor or gestational carrier. Being a surrogate (gestational carrier) for Growing Generations 3x (almost 4) was amazing but working for them to help thousands of babies be born is incredibly AWESOME.
In case you didn't know, many children survive cancer, but will have chronic issues for the rest of their lives . . . INFERTILITY being one of them . . . the same treatments that saved their lives, sometimes leaves them with the inability to create it later.

"6 years ago, our dear surrogateKelly Enders-Tharphelped us bring Natasha and Anjali into our lives. Since then she has helped 2 other families do the same. Today she is helping her son, Sawyer (8)‪#‎SawyersWarriors‬! battle stage III/IV Burkitt's Lymphoma. AsStephanie Brownaptly put it, "This is so cosmically wrong"!!! Prayers and thoughts for his speedy recovery."

Monday, December 8, 2014

Every so often women will approach me and ask if I think they could be a Gestational Surrogate. They may have read about my three journeys online or they've heard about me or another surrogate and they are intrigued. Really intrigued.

Usually, it seems to be a quick "check-in" of . . . "I'd be a good candidate, right?" before they apply. Sometimes my answer is yes and other times, I already know, that they aren't going to be accepted for one reason or another.

The list I'm going to share isn't about the minimum qualifications for my agency, Growing Generations but is about the traits that I've noticed (exceptional/awesome/amazing) surrogates have.

An AMAZING Surrogate is . . .

flexible

patient

willing to be inconvenienced

trustworthy

responsible

committed

open minded

nurturing

organized

communicative

able to see the "big picture"

kind

honest

supportive (of her IPs)

supported (by family, friends, etc)

empathetic

able to keep her eye on the end result

reliable

altruistic

If you think you've got what it takes to be, not just a surrogate but an AMAZING Surrogate, please take a moment to visit Growing Generations' online application. There you can find out if you meet the minimum qualifications, since you already know you possess some of the traits they would love their surrogates to have.

Experienced Surrogates . . . . if you have any traits to add to the list, please do so in the comments!

Journey #1 Natasha & Anjali

Journey #2 Gideon and Harper

Journey #3 Alexander

About Me & My Uterus

Wife. Mother. College Educator. Surrogate Mom. Blogger. Comedian. Social Media Genius. Smart Ass. Resident Loud Mouth. Scorpio. Free Thinker. Magic Fountain . . . . . . . .
For the Surro blog-
Three different IVF doctors have told Kelly she has a beautiful uterus. Kelly's uterus says, "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful".
The main function of Kelly's uterus in 2008, 2010 and 2012 was to grow the cutest, smartest and healthiest surro babies ever! Natasha and Anjali were born November of 2008, Gideon and Harper were born October of 2010 and Alexander was born June 2012. Kelly's surro babes are still part of her life . . . . they grew in her uterus but their parents burrowed into her heart.
For my 2 Moms blog- overall amazingness to be shared ;)