The National Football League has gone ahead and filled in what was really the only remaining question in global Tim Tebow coverage: Hypothetically, what would Tim Tebow's spawn look like were he to procreate with the weirdest array ever of female celebrities and public figures ever? Hypothetically.

One won the Iowa straw poll five months ago and is now trending in single digits on the day of that state's caucus vote. The other made the playoffs despite a three-game losing streak to end the regular season with a .500 record. See? They're exactly the same! [The Hill]

Michele Bachmann won the Ames, Iowa straw poll yesterday, which, according to Nate Silver, means she's the favorite to win the Iowa caucuses next year. And, if you follow this syllogism to its logical extreme, she's gonna win the Republican nomination and then the presidency. Or something.