Shia LaBeouf Tried and Failed to Apologize Via Skywriter

Shia LaBeouf isn't making many friends of late, and despite admittedly plagiarizing anything and everything he sees fit, he remains stoically, recalcitrantly arrogant:

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It's at least a little to his credit that he has attempted to make amends for his latest debacle, the I-didn't-even-really-bother-with-adding-some-creative-license bite of Daniel Clowes's comic Justin M. Damiano. When his original, well, non-original-original, potentially wannabe avant gardé performance art rabbit hole Twitter-pologies didn't quite make the grade, he resorted to grander measures to beg pardon and quell the tide of ridicule and derision that has, well, seemingly always overshadowed his career - even Indian fking Jones hates the guy.

Yes, LaBeouf commissioned a skywriter to cloud-paint his condolences for all the world to see:

CLOUD:- vapor floating in the atmosphere- remote servers used to SHARE DATA- to make LESS CLEAR or TRANSPARENT pic.twitter.com/jw9JlEi791

Which, of course, just made the Internet rag on him even more. We have an idea for him. Maybe read a little deeper into the stories you're actually plagiarizing, and find a lesson within, one that could at the very least help the next time you decide to "curate" someone else's work into your own. In the words of our own Shia-rized Tom Chiarella, from the very article he copied, we offer the following advice:

A man owns up. That's why Mark McGwire is not a man. A man grasps his mistakes. He lays claim to who he is, and what he was, whether he likes them or not.

A man can tell you he was wrong. That he did wrong. That he planned to. He can tell you when he is lost. He can apologize, even if sometimes it's just to put an end to the bickering.

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Whether this whole bizarre thing is the flailing of a deranged ego, an intentional attempt at ironic art, or simply the actions of a mind-bendingly naïve knave who is stuck with the emotional range and need for attention of a four-year-old with separation anxiety, I think we can all agree it's time for LaBeouf to man up and be done with it. Make amends, not dig the shame ditch deeper with feeble excuses for past transgressions. Start planning that inevitable next move with the knowledge that America loves a comeback. It's a new year, and time to move on.

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