celibacy & children

Jesus’ Thoughts on Celibacy and Children10His disciples said to Him, “If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry.”11But He said to them, “All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given: 12For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it.”13Then little children were brought to Him that He might put His hands on them and pray, but the disciples rebuked them. 14 But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven.” 15And He laid His hands on them and departed from there (Matt. 19:10-15 NKJV).

Verse 10 reminds us of the humanity of the disciples and that they are products of their culture, even at this point in Jesus’ ministry. Their lament gives Jesus a second opportunity for Jesus to affirm marriage, as He has done in the previous verses. From the disciples’ comment, Hillel’s liberal interpretation of divorce appears to have been dominant at the time. Perhaps this is not surprising since it allows a man to keep his options open: he may marry “for life,” or change his mind if it suits him. The selfish man retains his freedom in spite of his promise. If the option of divorce is removed, the disciples equate that deplorable condition with being even more intolerable then not to take a wife at all! They reject God’s commands and Jesus’ comments in verses 4-6.

Is It Better Not to Marry?​ Jesus replies that the disciples’ statement, “it is better not to marry,” is a harder statement than the pronouncement limiting divorce to a very strict minimum. Would the disciples deny a man ever to form union with a woman simply because the man would not be released from his vow? Jesus goes on to remark on the difficulty of celibacy except for those who were born into such a condition or have had the condition forced upon them. Strong biological urges are not easily denied. He takes the opportunity to affirm there are times to abstain from marriage “for the kingdom of heaven’s sake.” Note that this is not so the man can earn the kingdom of heaven for himself (at least not as his primary aim), but to further advance the kingdom of heaven, to enlarge its borders and bring more people into citizenship. The apostles John and Paul come to mind. This does not appear to be a command to celibacy in order to enlarge the kingdom of God, but rather it may be that marriage is not appropriate at a particular time or for a season. Jesus’ restatement of God’s command for men and women to marry, that they were made to be united, affirms the holiness of matrimony. The difficulty of maintaining celibacy is a second reason not to refrain from marriage. Jesus does allow that some may be able to accept celibacy in order to better serve the kingdom, and those people are to accept their calling. Paul makes a case for staying unwed in 1 Cor. 7, but he also states for those who are married to live in the same state in which they were called, whether that be married or unmarried.

A Kingdom Must Have Children Matthew places verses 13-15 in an interesting place in his narrative. Having just spoken of the possibility of refraining from marriage for the kingdom of heaven’s sake, he speaks of Jesus’ concern for the welfare of the children as He says they should be allowed to come to him. It is a basic principle of enlarging a kingdom that there must be children. Sects that do not permit marriage and provide the opportunity for children will wither and perish. Likewise, children must learn the faith in order to be in the faith. They must learn the responsibilities of kingdom citizenship in order to share in its benefits. This all requires instruction, and so they are to come to the teacher.

The disciples again show their lack of understanding by trying to prevent the children from diverting Jesus’ attention away from the important tasks of His calling. Jesus again shows them that there is nothing more important than meeting the children where they are. He meets the children where they are, and this can be at any stage of life, whether 3 or 33 or 63. Or consider that each of us is a child in kingdom terms, regardless of our age. And at whatever age, we have more to learn of the nature of the kingdom.Next article