Hi. My name is Clark and this is my blog. My intent is to entertain and I'd like this to be more than "Clark And What Pisses Him Off" (although there will definitely be some of that) so I'll be posting some short humorous fiction as well. I hope you like it.
WARNING: Sometimes I will cuss. And I will also embellish facts (ie: lie) in the interest of making things funnier than they really are. Just so you know.

Monday, September 15, 2014

You can go your own way

Yes, the car's left turn signal is blinking. Yes, the sign next to the stop light is telling drivers not to turn left. No big deal, right? Apparently not, based on something that happened last Friday night.
Here's what it looked like (thanks to my superior MS Paint skills):

I was coming out of a parking garage, attempting to turn right on to northbound Florida Avenue. As I was sitting there, see a car come out of another garage exit, driven by one of the valets at the nearby Marriott Waterside Hotel (I could clearly see his uniform). He drives south on Florida in the northbound lanes, with a car coming at him, before sliding over to the southbound lanes, making his way to the Marriott (the orange square on my sweet map). He was a valet so that means he was driving someone else's car and he chose to drive in the wrong lanes instead of waiting to execute a safe left turn or turn right and drive around the block.

This struck me as bad judgment on behalf of this valet and I thought I would bring it to someone's attention.

SOME PERSON ANSWERING WHAT I THOUGHT WAS THE MARRIOTT WATERSIDE'S PHONE: "...Hello?"

ME: "I'm sorry, is this the Marriott Waterside?"

PERSON NOW IDENTIFIED AS DESK CLERK AT THE MARRIOTT: "Yes, how can I help you?"

ME: "Oh. Hi, I thought you should know that I just witnessed one of your valet parking guys driving a customer's car in the wrong direction on Florida Avenue."

DESK CLERK AT THE MARRIOTT: "Okay. So do you want to complain or...?"

ME: "Yeah, I guess so."

DESK CLERK AT THE MARRIOTT: "Okay, hang on."

(hold)

VALET PARKING GUY: "Valet parking. Can I help you?"

ME: "Hi. I was just telling the desk clerk that I just witnessed one of your valet parking guys driving a customer's car in the wrong direction on Florida Avenue."

VALET PARKING GUY: "Do you want to talk to the manager."

ME: "Well, I think somebody should know about it so sure."

VALET PARKING GUY: "Hold on."

(hold)

VALET PARKING MANAGER: "Can I help you?"

ME: "Hi. I just witnessed one of your valet parking guys driving a customer's car in the wrong direction on Florida Avenue."

VALET PARKING MANAGER: "I'll take care of it. Thanks."

(click)

There you go. Something to think about if you drive in downtown Tampa. And something to really think about if you're going to let the valets at the Marriott Waterside park your car.

CBS Tampa's Most Valuable Blogger Award 2011 Winner

Who's this guy?

Originally from Benton Harbor, Michigan, I have lived in the Tampa Bay area for over 20 years now. I am a published writer with numerous internet columns, magazine articles and a documentary film credit. I've also done professional announcing and acting. I like to make fun of stupid people in positions of authority when they do stupid things. While that implies that I think I'm somehow superior to them, nothing could be further from the truth.