~ I came, I saw, I slept.

Monthly Archives: September 2006

nervousness is in the airconfusions around me are seated on chairsthey refuse to get up and goI, in the centre, am walking to and frothey’re happily blowing up their balloonsamongst them, I feel like a goonugly and prettytheir whole fraternitycannot define the faceof this amazing racethe race of these elementsthat deface the face of my future and presentblow them, burn them, sweep them off my sightlet me run, let me take to flight

I’d like to share another pic that I clicked a day before. Look at the rainbow-like colors at the top of the cloud! I was wondering if it’s a rainbow. It wasn’t.

think that skinny people are like that because they don’t eat properly

think that skinny people are weak

keep nagging you with advices on "proper" diet to gain weight

have wrong notions about being thin

ridicule and make fun of skinny people

give you a top-to-bottom look as if you’re some alien who’s landed from Mars

teach you to "behave" like girls

always ask when you’re getting married and then giggle unnecessarily

tell you that why on earth you need to work and earn money when your husband is gonna take care of that (amazing!)

always comment on the clothes you wear and make you feel awkard about it

are bored of themselves, other people, everything, life, etc, and bore you by talking about it

keep telling you to "change" yourself because you "need" the change just because you don’t "fit" in this society with your default settings

argue with ricksha-wallahs and similar genre of people for one or two rupees

always look at the price-tag first of whatever they need to buy and then start blabbering about how high the prices are and that how that object isn’t worth that price and where all you can get that for dirt cheap price (and then embarrass you in front of other people listening to this crap)

stare at you awkardly if you’re sitting alone in a restaurent and assume that you’re waiting for your BOYFRIEND (nonsense!)

love to flaunt their UK/US tags just because they’ve been there and think that it’s a BIG deal having been there

put up an accent deliberately to show that they’re UK/US returned

look down upon the things that they’ve grown up with in their own country, just because they’re not upto the standards of what they experienced in UK/US

are ashamed to talk/write in their mother tongue/national language and think that talking in English is cool

stare at your clothes/accessories/body parts etc. instead of making an eye contact while talking to you

think that girls who have more boys as friends than girls are spoilt

think that you’re having an affair with your (boy)friend if you talk/roam around with him a lot

ask you which company you’re working with and then ask you to repeat if the company’s name is not one of those big-shots (wipro, infosys, cognizant, TCS, etc.) and then say that they’ve never heard of it my making a weird face and rolling their eyes

never heard of and wouldn’t even like to hear what "dignity of labour" is

shout on phone, no matter who they’re talking to, and tell you to mind your business when you ask them to lower their volume

talk rudely to the customer care executives and think that it’s their birth right to do so

stare at you, unknowingly or knowingly or whatever, when you’re eating. it irritates!

come to talk to you in your cubicle and keep looking at what’s on your screen and then comment on it

always try to peep into your screen when passing by your cubicle

let their cellphones blare just to make you hear their latest ringtone

start blabbering about something that’s comparable to what you’re telling them about, without even letting you finish

GIVE YOU GREAT LECTURES ON WHY YOU SHOULDN’T HATE ALL THIS AND GET ALONG WITH IT CUZ’ IT IS LIKE THIS AND WILL STAY LIKE THIS

The feeling of anonymity takes over me at times. I feel low. I feel like just another person in the crowd. I feel bad about not standing out of it. I feel bad about not being able to make a mark.

I, as an individual, hold an identity. Is it my name? No. I share it with hundreds of people around. Then, is it my PAN card or my passport? They are unique for me. But then, every other individual has them. They get identified by them, like I do. So what is it that makes me different? Is there something that only I possess? I haven’t found anything yet.

Why do people call me different? Is it because my behavior is different from other girls? Or because I talk, walk, eat, drink, and sleep in a different manner? Or because I think differently? Yes, I do. I think weird. I think strange. I think extra-terrestrial. I think about what doesn’t exist. But then, I know many of you do. Then WHAT? Will I remain an anonymous person? Will I die without achieving something that would make me stand out?

No. I don’t desire to become famous. I don’t desire to achieve fame by doing something different. I only desire to satisfy myself as an individual.

On second thoughts, yesterday, I was wondering if the birds get a heart-attack! They have a heart, right? I saw a couple of crows busy pecking at a piece of bread. They all looked similar. Black. Is black their identity? Do they not feel anonymous anytime? Are they happy being just one amongst the flock?

And then, there was this anonymous crow, sitting on the branch of an anonymous tree, wondering about his anonymity. Or may be, I am just too weird to involve crows in my anonymous discussion!

FIANLLY, I’ve been able to upload the Kumartuli pics. Phew! :pCheck the album "Visit to Kumartuli". For any clarifications on who’s who, contact Divoo 😀Awrite, I’m half-buried under in work right now. I hope I’d be in a better position tomorrow! Ok now check these out! 😀

Isn’t it an amazing amazing sky!! The time difference between these two pics is around 10 minutes.That’s what the Kolkata sky generally looks like around Durga Puja. The people here say so!Btw, it’s been POURING since 2 days here!

Divoo has written nothing new. Divoo has no time to write.Divoo is feeling dull.Divoo’s brain has fallen asleep and isn’t waking up. Divoo’s brain is overworked I guess because Divoo is working overtime since 2 days.Divoo would take some time to upload more pictures after fixing the stupid msn problem.Divoo apologises for not being able to visit your space because she has NO time.Why?Divoo would like to quote the same ol’ phrase again – "Divoo is buried under work."

Divoo thinks…

it feels funny at times
and cold too
it makes me feel uneasy
and peaceful too
i dunno what i want to say
but i know what i feel
i need to curb my thoughts
but the fruit of thought i peel
i shall and i will
but how and what
i might be able to
but i feel distraught
they overwhelm me
and i give in
i might do what is not right
but what i do ain't a sin
what i ought to know
is what i know not
i know it all i say
though i need not
are my thoughts the culprit
or is it me?
do i continue to question
or let it be?