I don't know how many other mamas both formula feed and breast feed, but I feel like I am in two worlds of feeding. I can't EBF, but I don't EFF. I have resented the bottle for months now and been angry at formula for it's ability to be mixed up ready to go in seconds when I can only pump 1 oz per 15 minute session.

FWIW, I am lucky to pump a half ounce in 20 minutes, but my babies can get out what they need in five or ten. It could be at least partly a pumping issue. I don't know your specific situation though.

FWIW, I am lucky to pump a half ounce in 20 minutes, but my babies can get out what they need in five or ten. It could be at least partly a pumping issue. I don't know your specific situation though.

Its so good that you are at peace! Enjoy your babe!

I wish it were just a pumping issue alone (though I do manually express after pumping to get more out). DD is definitely better at getting out the milk, but since she had weight gain issues we know it's supply problems too. I am excited because she is getting a 6 oz bottle of BM from 2 days of pumping. It may just be a small portion of her daily intake, but that is ok with me!

I am so happy to read this. I am still breastfeeding my 5 month old, but he dropped at 4 months to the 2nd percentile for weight and a GI doctor listed him as FTT. So we are supplementing with formula. And when you factor in my PPD, it is SO hard. I am hysterical and panicky every time I give him a bottle. We walked through fire to build a supply early on, and at two months old I was having to weigh him before and after every feeding, and supplement what he was missing...it was terrible.

My therapist wants me to stop BFing completely for my sanity, but I have all of this guilt that my son will be sad and won't understand,etc. Breastfeeding issues are SO hard, especially when those around you make it seem so easy!

I am so happy to read this. I am still breastfeeding my 5 month old, but he dropped at 4 months to the 2nd percentile for weight and a GI doctor listed him as FTT. So we are supplementing with formula. And when you factor in my PPD, it is SO hard. I am hysterical and panicky every time I give him a bottle. We walked through fire to build a supply early on, and at two months old I was having to weigh him before and after every feeding, and supplement what he was missing...it was terrible.

My therapist wants me to stop BFing completely for my sanity, but I have all of this guilt that my son will be sad and won't understand,etc. Breastfeeding issues are SO hard, especially when those around you make it seem so easy!

to you mama! I also have PPD (managing with meds currently) and that doesn't make supply issues any easier to handle. I BF what I can, but I no longer stress over the amount that I can provide. A baby shouldn't simply be defined by being a "formula baby" or a "EBF baby", he or she is special, sweet and they are no more or less loved or cared for based on how they are fed.

With my first I was so upset because I couldn't produce enough for him by 3 weeks. After a really good cry my husband finally sat me down and told me that I was miserable and LO was upset because I was and he had gone to the store and bought some formula. It was so freeing the first time when I could finally rest a little while lo and hubby bonded over a bottle. Feeding time is what you make it. It is my special time with the kids especially at night when we can just sit and cuddle for a bit.

I am glad to read this, though I still don't think I've made peace with FFing. I think I gave up too soon. At the hospital my milk came in wonderfully, and DS was getting his fill, but his tongue tie was making it the most painful thing. I would keep asking them what I was doing wrong, and they would say that he was latched on correctly, which was even worse to hear because it was so painful. (Though it didn't look to me like he was on right.) He was getting the milk, but it was by biting and not his tongue because of the tongue tie. After two weeks of DREADING feedings and crying constantly, I was diagnosed with PPD and got a case of mastitis. My pediatrician advised to consider FFing. I tried to EP but my supply dwindled and I quit that after 1 month. I still feel quilty that I quit and feel like if I would have stuck it out, maybe I would have healed and felt better or something.

I was so gung ho about BFing. I hope to be able to do it with my future children. I am going to demand they fix any tongue tie and PUMP PUMP PUMP in the beginning to really get my milk going and save up a stash.

In the meantime, I give to all the women out there who know how I feel!

I am glad to read this, though I still don't think I've made peace with FFing. I think I gave up too soon. At the hospital my milk came in wonderfully, and DS was getting his fill, but his tongue tie was making it the most painful thing. I would keep asking them what I was doing wrong, and they would say that he was latched on correctly, which was even worse to hear because it was so painful. (Though it didn't look to me like he was on right.) He was getting the milk, but it was by biting and not his tongue because of the tongue tie. After two weeks of DREADING feedings and crying constantly, I was diagnosed with PPD and got a case of mastitis. My pediatrician advised to consider FFing. I tried to EP but my supply dwindled and I quit that after 1 month. I still feel quilty that I quit and feel like if I would have stuck it out, maybe I would have healed and felt better or something.

I was so gung ho about BFing. I hope to be able to do it with my future children. I am going to demand they fix any tongue tie and PUMP PUMP PUMP in the beginning to really get my milk going and save up a stash.

In the meantime, I give to all the women out there who know how I feel!

*hugs* I switched to exclusively formula with a tongue tied baby also...I also didn't believe that was the issue. We do the best we can with the information we have.

I also combo feed my youngest now (she was also tongue tied, but, we got hers revised)...since it took until 5 months to get the tongue tie fixed my supply never got established...I am just happy she is getting any breastmilk at this point...all my kids have had at least some formula and they are healthy and happy....I've done the best I could with each. :-)

I wish it were just a pumping issue alone (though I do manually express after pumping to get more out). DD is definitely better at getting out the milk, but since she had weight gain issues we know it's supply problems too. I am excited because she is getting a 6 oz bottle of BM from 2 days of pumping. It may just be a small portion of her daily intake, but that is ok with me!

You could see a lc and have them weigh your babe before and after feeding to truly know how much she is getting. I've had people INSIST that I made plenty of milk even though my breasts never grew, never leaked, never got firmer, and my baby cried for more food after nursing. They just blamed it on pumping issues or being inexperienced. But after seeing the lc we knew I didn't make much at all, which is what I thought in the first place.

I wish that nurses and doctors were more educated on breastfeeding. They make you feel like crap, if you chose not to breastfeed, or if you want to supplement because you're having issues. Yet they can't seem to help you. The 2 days we were in the hospital, we never once got a proper latch. I told every nurse that would come in and check on us, that he wasn't latching, and if he did seem to latch on he'd fall asleep within 5 minutes and wasn't eating. No one seemed concerned at all. I never saw a lactation consultant, no one discussed pumping while we were there, or supplementing.. By the time we were to be discharged he was so hungry and frustrated that nothing we did would calm him down. Which doesn't make it any easier to get a proper latch.. Finally the doctor who discharged us, brought us some bottles. I'm so thankfully for her. She told me not to feel bad to offer him some formula to try to calm him down to help him latch, and set up an appointment with a lactation consultant for me. The pediatrician that was covering for his regular pediatrician made me feel like sh*t for that. He came in right after we'd giving him an oz! Only an oz of formula, and told me that I shouldn't be giving up so quickly, and that I should always try to bring him to the breast first before giving him formula. For one, this pediatrician was a man.. WTF! Two, he came into our room twice that morning both times while I was attempting to breastfeed, and my lo was screaming bloody murder.. It's not like I was giving up completely, my lo needed something in his stomach. And now only 4 weeks later, I have no milk, at all. I started pumping around the clock once we got home and was pumping 3 oz every 2 hours. Then one day I was only getting 1 oz every 2 hours. Then it as down to half an oz. I tried supplements to help increase my supply but nothing seemed to work.. It was a tough decision, and I still feel horrible for it but I stopped pumping almost a week ago now. I haven't leaked once since then, and my breasts haven't hurt at all. It's upsetting explaining to people why I'm not breastfeeding, especially when they don't seem to believe that's why I'm not breastfeeding..

Coming to the point where you can be at peace with your reality, especially when it's not your ideal is both hard and awesome. I know I struggled a lot with that with my first. I didn't *want* to FF her, I still wish it could have turned out differently, but when what little support you have is spectacularly unhelpful, and you're going out of your mind with pain, formula looks awefully darn attractive. It was the right decision for us with the situation, I just wish to this day, 4.5 years later, that the situation could have been different.

This time we're EBF and I'm well aware of how lucky I am that I was able to do that without any major hiccups - there were issues early on that made me want to tear out my hair, but I got through them. Surprisingly there are actually things I miss about FF - knowing exactly what she's getting, being able to let daddy get up with her the 4th time she's woken up yelling for food...there are definite advantages and disadvantages to both. I don't miss washing and sterilizing bottles, waiting for them to warm with a screaming child in my ear who's hungry NOW, trying to find a way to warm a bottle when out of the house, the heavy diaper bag full of bottles, the expense, oh gods the expense. Nursing has it's challenges as well I'm learning, but I'll take them over the trials of formula feeding gratefully.