It's been a minute since anyone cared about the great trilogy of mommy porn that is 50 Shades of Grey. But here we are with more news about it, this time in the form of sad, sexless divorce drama.

A middle-aged British banker was apparently stuck in a dreary sexless rut with her husband, the very sort of dreary sexless rut that has made Grey author EL James millions of dollars over the past year. The banker tried buying "sexy underwear," but that didn't work. So, fresh out of ideas, the woman suggested to her husband that they try out some of Grey's watered down S&M action (the book is about S&M right? Who can even remember).

"The woman had been reading the book and wanted to spice up her love life," her lawyer said. "She thought their sex life had hit a rut."