Meta

Category: Product

As previously announced on Facebook and Twitter, I recently rendered lard for the first time. Here’s an inside look at how that whole thing went down.

It all started on recent a Wednesday afternoon when I visited the Decatur Farmers’ Market in Decatur, Georgia. Among other things, I was looking for a replacement for the lard supplier I had found in Birmingham but lost when I moved away. I had been told Tink’s Grass Fed Beef would be there, but as it turns out, Tink raises pastured pork as well. So naturally, I asked about lard.

“No, Tink’s doesn’t render lard,” I was told, but for $5 they could provide me the fat needed to do it myself if I would come to the Saturday market. I readily agreed and showed up on Saturday hoping to score the goods.

Sure enough, the fat had been put on the truck and off my contact went to retrieve it for me. When she returned, I was presented with a large plastic bag of frozen fat weighing at least 10 pounds. I was simultaneously thrilled and intimidated. But for $5, I could afford to screw this up so I soldiered on—with a 10-pound lump of frozen pork fat in my trunk.

When I got home, I placed the lump in my refrigerator and set to work trying to figure out how this mass was to be turned into the white, soft, odorless fabulousness so often imitated by vegetable shortenings but never quite matched and certainly not replaced.

In my search, I found this link to a site called, “A Little Bit of Spain in Iowa,” which provided tantalizingly simple instructions for lard-making using a Crockpot, of all things. Included were beautiful pictures showing exactly what I was to do. The lard pictured looked like what I wanted in an end result, so I figured I’d try it for myself, after buying just a few supplies.

The goal: finished lard in a lovely glass jar.

Newly purchased cheesecloth and ladle in hand, I followed the author’s instructions as closely as possible with the following results. (N.B. Our gentle reader should now take a moment to familiarize him- or herself with the instructions at the link above. That is so I don’t have to type as much and yet can refer to the article freely whilst pointing out where those self-same instructions may have gone off the rails ever so slightly.)

First, as to the choice of equipment, I was working with a regular, old, Rival Crockpot that was one of the first models to feature a removable crock (circa 1999). Nothing fancy; just low and high.

Exhibit "A": The Crockpot

So I didn’t really get where the “Valerie,” referred to in the first paragraph of the instructions, was coming from advising that unless the Crockpot was “high-end,” low wasn’t low enough and just to “use a stockpot on the stove’s lowest setting.”

In fact, I used both the low setting on the Crockpot and the lowest burner on my late ’80s gas stove, and the gas stove was definitely hotter and harder to control.

This was the lowest I was able to get the flame on the gas stove. Still far hotter than the low setting on the Crockpot.

Pictured here, is the lowest I was able to get the flame on the gas stove. It was still far hotter than the low setting on the Crockpot. The fat in the Crockpot was on for 16-hours, by contrast, and still wouldn’t burn—no matter how hard I tried—which brings me to my next few points.

Nowhere in the instructions does the author address how much fat she is rendering, but still confidently assures us of process completion in (it appears) just a few hours. This is totally misleading!

Time to completion is (I hypothecate) likely dependent on the quantity of fat to be rendered. In my case, I rendered for 8 hours on Day One; got tired and put the lid on the removable crock, placed it in the refrigerator, took it out the following day, and rendered for another 8 hours before “finishing.”

It seemed to go faster once the volume was reduced (but that is by no means a scientific observation). At no point did the “cracklings” get crispy as described, however, which brings me to my next observation.

The closest to crispy (not very) I was able to attain in 16 hours.

The author discusses the possibility of a “piggie” odor in the finished lard but attributes the off-flavor to “burning” the cracklings. I believe that attribution is only partly true. In other words, the reason I believe my fat never crisped into cracklings (and therefore did not burn) and the reason I didn’t have any piggie odor to my lard is the same—Tink’s did a great job in giving me very little meat and skin with the fat.

What little protein there was, I trimmed away and rendered separately as an experiment.

All that remained after removing the pure fat.

Sure enough, the lard separately rendered from fat and protein did have a strong piggie scent.

Browned protein and fat cracklings.

The purer fat did not.

The purer fat also did not produce cracklings, which I now believe must contain a good percentage of protein to crisp and brown or to “burn” if allowed to cook further. Or maybe my cracklings sans protein did not burn because of my next observation.

At no point are we instructed to stir, fold, or otherwise turn the contents of the crock. I did it anyway, for better or worse, because it seemed the fat along edges and bottom was definitely turning brown while the fat in the center remained raw and unchanged. Maybe this is why I didn’t get the “separation” of fat from cracklings or the crisping she described, but after a few hours, I wasn’t seeing that happen anyway so I erred on the side of not causing a fire (I guess).

Lard oil beginning to render from fat. (NOTE: The edges browning while the fat at the center looks uncooked.)

Now, for what went right. As an initial matter, using the Crockpot is a stroke of genius. A virtually odorless process that was totally controllable, the end result of rendering in the Crockpot was just was as article described.

The crock also seemed to make it easier to manipulate the fat than any oven-based method I’d read about, as it sat open and reachable right on the countertop, and yet was still gentler-heating than my stove-top experiment. In fact, it was a happy compromise of the benefits of both traditional methods. And when I got tired of rendering, I put on the glass lid and stuck the crock in the refrigerator so I could restart it the next day.

Also, grinding the fat as the author suggests seems to have facilitated a more even release of oil. Because I found the instructions online (including the suggestion to ask the farmer to grind the fat for better results) only after I’d already received the fat, I hadn’t asked Tink’s for pre-ground fatback. But perhaps that was better anyway. Grinding it myself gave me a chance to trim off the protein beforehand, and grinding wasn’t such a big deal using the little chopping attachment to my Cuisinart stick blender and would have been even less of a big deal in a real food processor.

Step 3: Ground fat. NOTE: I only filled the bowl about half full. Any more prevented an even grind and actually took longer.

After reading the instructions, I naively assumed lard making was simply a matter of heat-for-a-few-hours-strain-pour-chill. Not so! I was totally unprepared for the huge chunk of time rendering this amount was going to take out of two days.

Oil being strained through double layered cheese cloth over the colander.

But, at the end of the (second) day, I got a gallon of really high quality lard for my $5 and am happy to have one half gallon of lard in the fridge and another in the freezer. In the final analysis, I will definitely render my own lard again—but hopefully not for another year or so.

Those of you familiar with this blog should be well aware of my serious obsession with pork. ‘Cause if pork were a person, I’d sip a pina colada with it!

So the other day at the Rosewood Market, the local real food market in Columbia, S.C., when I saw a certain nondescript package in the freezer section, I nearly jumped for joy. I held back on the jumping though for fear of frightening the other shoppers, but only just barely.

What the nondescript package contained was the most magical and elusive substance I have ever encountered—real bacon. I don’t mean the crap that passes as bacon in most refrigerator sections of even the finest grocery stores. (I’m looking at you, Whole Foods!) I mean Caw Caw Creek Farm’s pasture-raised, salt and sugar cured, untrimmed, thick-sliced, beautiful, life-changing, forever bacon. And it was good. Very good.

To prepare, I spared no expense. First, I thawed overnight in the refrigerator.

Then, I lovingly placed two (no more, no less) strips on a small jelly roll pan (with 3/4″ sides). The sides on this pan are very important for reserving the 1/2 cup of oil that will render out of the bacon. Yes, folks, that’s a full 1/4 cup of delicious oil per slice you can save to make everything else you cook incredible too. (This bacon just gives and gives. It’s a giver.)

Meanwhile, I heated the oven to 425 degrees. I placed the pan containing the bacon in the oven for about 10 minutes or until the meat is browned, the fat is slightly tinged with color, and the whole situation is just about floating.

After carefully removing the pan (so as not to slosh the hot oil) and allowing it to cool, I removed the bacon slices and experienced a flavor and texture that is the stuff of legend. Meaty, melty, comforting, and filling—this was simply the single best food I have ever experienced. Simply bacon.

I’m not sure I can go back to the undersized, over-trimmed, chemically-manipulated stuff I’ve called bacon before this. From now on, I believe I shall refer to this vastly inferior product as “breakfast meat” or “bacon-like product.” If a waiter is confused, that’s his bad luck. Whatever he brings me will suck anyway.

Those of you familiar with this blog should be well aware of my serious obsession with pork. ‘Cause if pork were a person, I’d stalk it!

So when I recently spotted the most bea-U-tiful, locally-raised 4.43 pound Boston Butt with an Animal Welfare Rating of 4 I have ever seen in any Whole Food’s butcher’s case, naturally, I snagged first and planned later. The snow white fat rind covering the roast’s top and sides enrobed evenly-marbled pink flesh. I expected great things of this roast.

A quick Google search on my craptastic Blackberry turned up a John Folse recipe for “Soul Pork Roast.” It seemed like a good start. The “suggested” cook time was 2 to 2-1/2 hours in a 375 degree oven, but I had a better idea: 40 minutes in the ole new pressure cooker! So I promptly e-mailed to myself a link to the recipe’s site before setting off to find all remaining ingredients.

The roast came enrobed in one of those elastic nets, which I promptly replaced with a length of butcher’s twine. (No nasty rubber aftertaste.) I followed the rest of the recipe using lard as the oil and with only a two modifications—(1) instead of waiting to the green onions, parsley, and the dash of hot sauce, I included them with the stock, and (2) I added an extra cup of water to compensate for the loss of liquid through steam. (The extra water was likely unnecessary, however, given the relatively short cooking time.)

I didn’t wait to bring everything to a boil as suggested by the recipe either, and closed the pressure cooker right away, bringing the whole thing to full pressure at a medium high heat. Like last time, when I prepared beef short ribs, the pressurizing procedure took about ten minutes.

When the little yellow button popped up, I started a ten-minute timer and lower the burner temperature to slightly less than medium. After ten minutes elapsed, I checked the steam level to be sure it was steady and then reset the timer adding another half hour.

When the timer alerted the second time, I removed the cooker from the heat and performed the depressurizing procedure. I then plated the roast before carving.

In hindsight, the roast probably should have been cooked another ten minutes for a total of roughly 50 minutes as the very center of the roast was still a bit rare. Because I was serving only two, however, I simply saved that rare part to reheat the following day by searing it in a dry skillet.

The outside parts of the pork, however, were soooooo delicious! Tender and juicy, the roast’s thick, white rind had melted to a soft buttery consistency infused with the flavor of the stock and aromatics.

As with the beef short ribs prepared on my first foray into the world of pressure cooking, all of the seasoning penetrated the surface of the roast and seemed to infuse every bit of it in a way I never achieved using a mere Dutch oven.

All things considered, this really cheap cut of pork—already my favorite readily-available part of the pig—was just as fabulous a subject for pressure cooking as was cheap beef. And feeding four in about an hour for less than $25, the Fagor Splendid 10-Quart Pressure Cooker/Canner proved itself once again to be an appliance I should never have waited to try!

Pressure cooking. The very phrase evokes terrifying images of food dripping from ceilings. But after considering the vastly improved safety reputation of newer equipment, finding braising had become a regular player in my cooking repertoire, rarely having time to babysit a pot for four to five hours, and discovering I actually did have space to store yet another piece of equipment, the final decision to purchase one actually came upon me quite suddenly.

And I figured I could always return it to the store if my loving husband objected to my evicting the Cuisinart Ice Cream maker from the big lazy Susan to make room for the new gadget. But my sweetheart was all in favor of the concept. He only awaited my foray into the breach before passing final judgment.

The only question remaining, what to prepare, was simply answered—my favorite braised beef short ribs recipe from the Whole Foods meat counter: . Admittedly, I changed a few things….

In preparation for my first test, I carefully reviewed the instruction manual twice to be absolutely sure I knew how to lock the lid, pressurize the cooker, what to do in the event of trouble, and perhaps most importantly, how to avoid trouble to begin with(!). Then I took the plunge. While hubby was away—naturally.

I started by seasoning the organic, grass-fed short ribs and heating a tablespoon of lard (not olive oil) in the pressure cooker, on high heat on the large burner of my electric stove. The lard got a little smokier than I might have liked, but bottom of the cooker distributed the heat very evenly, and the ribs browned beautifully, as did the onions and garlic I put to deglaze the pan in after removing the ribs.

Next I added wine, canned tomatoes, beef broth, Worcestershire sauce, orange zest, and fresh rosemary. (I also decided to add about one cup of filtered water to the mix, in addition to the amount of liquid called for by the recipe, to ensure the liquid wouldn’t steam away entirely during the cooking process.) After bringing the liquids to a boil, I returned the ribs and juices to the pot.

I also added all the carrots right away, rather than steam for 10 minutes, open the lid, add the carrots, and THEN return to steaming. I also made the executive decision to omit the pearl onions.

So, I checked the amount of food and liquid in the pot, ensuring it was no more than the 2/3 full maximum stated in the instructions and sealed the cooker by lining up the two hash marks per the instructions, turning the lid clockwise to lock it. Then I turned the dial on the operating valve to 12 o’clock (high), slipped the purple pressure lock toward the lid, and continued to cook on high heat to pressurize the cooker.

The instructions explained that it took some time to pressurize after sealing. In my case, it took about 10 minutes. Upon pressurization the safety valve button popped up, deploying just as it should have, and I began timing the cooking at about 25% of the time the dish would have required in a Dutch oven—about one hour.

The safety valve is a small, yellow plastic button that rises when fully pressurized and prevents the pressure lock from sliding open. The safety valve will only fall when the pot is fully depressurized. Only following such depressurization can the pressure lock be released and the lid unlocked.

After full pressurization, I lowered the burner heat to a setting of 4 and monitored the steam flow for about 10 minutes to ensure that a continuous, gentle steam flow was maintained from the operating valve. Unfortunately, the flow all but stopped, so I raised the heat to 5, after which the steam flow began again. Per instructions in this event, I just extended the cooking time by a few minutes.

Be advised, the cooker is not silent. You will hear the release of steam throughout the cooking process, but this is normal.

At the end of a little more than one hour, I opted to use the “automatic release method” and turned the dial on the operating valve to the “steam release position.” Steam shot out far more vigorously than before and from a vent to the left of the dial as opposed to the vent at the top of the dial. The steam stream was so powerful water, in fact, that it condensed on some utensils in a holder next to the stove!

After a few minutes, the steam pressure slowed considerably diminishing to nearly nothing, but the safety valve’s pressure indicator still had not fallen. When I touched it, however, the pressure indicator button dropped, and I was able to slide back the pressure lock and turn the top half of the handle counterclockwise to unlock the lid.

And the results were…

…amazing! Not only were the ribs more tender than ever before, but they were also far more flavorful. It was as if the pressure had forced the flavor of the spices, herbs, and aromatics farther below the surface of the meat than was ever possible at normal pressures. Every flavor was blended with all of the others but was not lost. Somehow, each ingredient was made simultaneously more intense as well.

Clean up of the cooker was also a snap. The pot and lid were returned to sparkling new condition with very little effort using liquid dish soap and a scouring pad/sponge combo. Even the light grey rubber gasket looked perfect with no tomato or red wine staining. Fabulous!

In retrospect, my only regret is how long it took me to try this cooking method. I already can tell my new-found love of pressure cooking is poised to evolve into a life-long passion.

As with utensils, few people are as passionate about pans as they are pan’s bosom pals, Pots. So few people, in fact, that none (read: “not one”) of my contributing friends and relatives listed any baking equipment they couldn’t live without. But I’d be willing to bet they are wrong.

I can’t really recommend anything in particular for the metal components in this list. They can usually be found pretty cheaply at restaurant supply stores, but you must feel them to know if they are any good.

The quality you are looking for is heaviness for the size. Such a pan is less likely to bend or warp while heating and is more likely to evenly distribute heat. But price has no relation to quality so be sure to get your hands on the actual item you are considering before you buy.

And remember: just because one pan is good doesn’t mean the entire line is. In this instance, buying pans sight unseen makes about as much sense as buying shoes without trying them on.

—Parchment paper or silicone baking mats. At some point in your life, you will want to bake, broil, or roast something that might stick to your pan (like anything containing protein). You may want to have a barrier between your food and your pan, just then, if you prefer removing the same amount of food from the pan that you originally placed in the pan.

If you’re like me and have discovered that oil, lard, butter, and even crumbs of various types just don’t give you the kind of food removal capabilities you may want, you should reach for the good stuff—a sheet of single-use silicon-impregnated paper (a/k/a, parchment paper) or a virtually indestructible, multi-use silicon mat, like the Silpat Non-stick Baking Mat in three sizes—full, half, and quarter. This is way better than non-stick pans, which use mystery chemicals to earn their lack of adhesion and have an unfortunate tendency to flake or become “not non-stick” after just a few uses. The only caveat when using a mat on the bottom is that the sides of pans may need a light coating of butter to aid later separation.

—Bowl and board scrapers. There are three essential kinds of scrapers/spatulas you will want—a nylon or silicon one for the bowl, like the Rubbermaid Commercial Products 9-1/2″ High Heat Scraper for stirring, folding, and scraping, even hot pots, and the MIU Silicone Bowl Scraper for quick, clean dough removal from a bowl (you will likely want both), as well as a metal scraper for removing pastry from the board or counter, like the OXO Good Grips Pastry Scraper. The OXO Pastry Scraper can also be used for some light chopping and removing other sticky stuff from counters or cutting boards, like candy or herbs.

—Ramekins. I was on the fence about this one, but went ahead and included a set as these can be used for baking single-serving things, like individual soufflés, or for serving sauces, melted butter, dressing, etc. Try this set for your basic needs, the Progressive International Porcelain Stacking Ramekins.

So that concludes our list of what you need to outfit your new or recently refurbished kitchen of your dreams. After ruling out the superfluous, the needlessly expensive, and the overly ambitious, what remains is precisely what you need.

Go ahead and add muffin pans, springform pans, mezza lunas, crème brulee sets, and other odds and ends later, as needed, but only then. Until such time, cook the basics and own the equipment you need to do so now. And even when you decide to buy something new, follow the Alton Brown rule to the extent possible—no “unitaskers.”

Rather, I think items in this category are the unsung heroes—the workhorses, if you will—of our respective kitchens. The kind of things we would only miss if they weren’t there.

So let us now enter the bland world of seriously fundamental kitchen equipment, and sing its praises. I’ll just acknowledge right now that this will be a solo performance, as my friends and fellow reviewers had absolutely zero to say about any favorites in this category.

Utensils.

—Spatulas. You know, for lifting, turning, or otherwise moving food from Point “A” to Point “B.” I believe you will need six of them.

Unlike the stiffness required of metal spatula above, in fish turners, you are looking for just the right amount of flexibility. Too little flex and the device will cause delicate filets to break; too much and it will bend and drop the fish before you can get it to your plate. A thin profile, an angled tip, a slightly bent front-end for wedging under delicate food (I prefer the bend to be nearer the end of the spatula than the middle), and a really smooth finish are also musts so the food will slide easily up the face of the spatula. I like this one, the OXO Good Grips Fish Turner.

You will also enjoy using the Littledeer Pan Paddle from Williams-Sonoma for making everything from scrambled eggs to oatmeal.

—Ladles. Try using your hands for this job! Then you will realize how convenient it is to use this one, the All-Clad Stainless Soup Ladle. I use the All-Clad for transporting all manner of liquid-y things from large pots into serving dishes. Everything from beans to gumbo will fit nicely in its bowl. And its rather large 6-ounce capacity will minimize the number of mind-numbing trips from pot to dish and back.

A spider uses wires to support the food instead of sheet metal with holes punched in it. That distinction is worth noting if you want to remove food quickly rather than standing around with your first of three scoops of food, waiting for the oil or water to drain while the rest of the food continues to cook. In short, speed is your friend, my friend. That’s why I prefer a spider.

—Cheese knives. Nothing screams “I am not a redneck,” like using the right tool for the job, such as theSwissmar Stainless Steel 3-Piece Cheese Knife Set. You’ll not only discover how easy cheese serving can be, you will finally learn why a butter knife is better for butter and why a steak knife is better for opening junk mail.

—Cooking spoons. I enjoy having two nylon and two metal cooking spoons—one slotted and one solid of each material, as well as a good wooden one. They are handy for food or for inflicting pain without the ugly bruising that can result from riding crops.

And check out the wooden Littledeer Serving Scoop. Yeah, I know it says “serving,” but I love using it to make beans. So arrest me.

—Cooking fork. Bid burnt and missing fingers adieu. Cooking forks are the “now” thing for pinning down that hot roast whilst giving it a good carving. I like the OXO Steel Fork.

—Basting brushes, basting bulbs. Silicone basting brushes for cooking and baking are a lot easier to use that you might think, and they sure beat picking off all the little hairs that fall out of the natural ones. As an added bonus, they come in pretty colors, and you can toss them into the dishwasher, from which they will emerge in more or less their original condition.

For your basting bulb, you want to avoid a metal tube. It burns when full of hot liquid. (Found that out the hard way.) I go with the semi-clear nylon ones, like the Heat Resistant Nylon Baster with Rubber Bulb. Just clean with a small brush and count on having to throw it away at some point. Neither the metal nor the nylon ones last forever.

—Potato masher. Which masher is best is a decision most of us make by feel. The goal is to obliterate a large, cooked root vegetable. The tool of choice has to work for you. To that end, you may have to try a couple of styles.

My favorite is the bouncing spring variety, of which the Dreamfarm “Smood” Kitchen Masher is a good example. My husband, on the other hand, prefers the “grate” style, like the Cuisipro Potato Masher. One thing we both agree on though, is that the metal squiggle style is a waste of time.

—Pizza cutters. These handy rolling dealies aren’t just for dissecting meat and veggie topped flat bread, anymore. Sure, try one the next time you need to mince some herbs. You’ll put away your chef’s knife, PDQ! I love this one: OXO Good Grips 4-Inch Pizza Wheel.

—Splatter guards. They won’t catch fire and are better than nothing. That’s about all I can say, as I have yet to find one that blocks grease spatters completely. Try this one, though: OXO Good Grips Splatter Screen with Folding Handle. At least the handle folds for easy storage.

And for the record, I don’t like pasta ladles. For long pasta, I prefer silicone-tipped tongs; for short, I use a spider or skimmer. Your call.

Next time, we will take a trip down the baking aisle. Until then, Happy Eating!

The Internet is rife with stories about the high mercury levels found in fresh and canned tuna, including sushi-grade and ahi-grade tuna steaks found at otherwise fabulous restaurants. And while concerns about high levels of heavy metals in tuna and other large predator fish mount, the FDA hasn’t exactly done a great job alerting consumers about such dangerous levels of heavy metals, refusing even to require notices of the type you see on menus serving raw or undercooked eggs, oysters, meat, etc.

Add that to concerns that “Big Tuna’s” use of nets in fishing operations is killing large numbers of dolphin bystanders, and it’s enough to turn you completely off of an otherwise wonderful source of healthy fats and protein. So what are you to do the next time you want your tasty Omega-3 fix? VitalChoice.com.

My husband found Vital Choice as part of his effort to increase the amount of fish in our diet, particularly as we had recently moved inland away from the abundant supplies of seafood to which we had grown accustomed. Endorsed by such luminaries and pioneers of the holistic and complementary medical movement as Andrew Weil , M.D., Nicholas Perricone, M.D., and Stephen Sinatra, M.D., Vital Choice’s wild, line-caught tuna and salmon ranks at the very top compared with fish sold anywhere else for low mercury content and sustainable fishing practices.

And I can tell you, all of the Vital Choice seafood I have tried are delicious both in canned and frozen form. Check out other products too, such as Omega-3 rich fish oil capsules, including salmon and krill oil, as well as minimally-processed canned mackerel and sardines. There is also ample literature and many white papers available through their website to help you learn why the practices of Vital Choice and its partners are different from many other purveyors of fresh and canned fish.

Bon appetite!

N.B. I have been enjoying Vital Choice seafood for more than two years now, fully-endorse the company, and stand by everything I have said about them in this post. My family and I have been nothing but impressed by every aspect of our interaction with the company from their ability to successfully deliver as promised (notwithstanding our hot summer weather) to the taste of the seafood itself. In the interest of full-disclosure, however, I have also recently become an marketing affiliate of the company, which provides income to this website for sales of its various products.

Appliances can make your life a heck of a lot easier, but only if they work as expected. Sometimes the price of an appliance has no relationship whatever with the quality or reliability of it, however. Sometimes the price only reflects the marketing strategy of the manufacturer. So how can you tell which product is right for you? Read on.

Below is the list of items we think are critical to a new kitchen. If we don’t use ’em ourselves, we at least did some research to find out which were best reviewed and which didn’t seem worth the cost.

Appliances.

—An immersion or “stick” blender. Unless you plan to start a night club in your garage or are a masochist, skip the countertop model and go for the stick. Why would you want to puree your soup by pouring it batches into a hard-to-clean glass pitcher, when you can do the job in half the time by putting your immersion blender right in the pot? Ditto smoothies, shakes, whipped cream, mayonnaise, or just about anything else. I got rid of my big one years ago and have never looked back! We like the KitchenAid KHB300 Hand Blender. Actually, we liked a Braun stick blender from the early 2000s, but they don’t make that one anymore. This one seems nice too, though.

—A food processor. With these devices my view is that bigger really is better—motor, the bowl size, etc. After all, hearing a grinding noise or smelling smoke while making a heavy dough isn’t any kinda fun; nor is having hot soup seeping from every crevice of an overfilled work bowl.

Fortunately, they now make 14- to 16-cup models with garbage-disposal-grade power. I am thinking about upgrading from my old 10-cup Cuisinart myself, so I did some research and found this review by A. Chandler, which I found highly enlightening. Mr./Ms. Chandler’s very detailed analysis is a little aged by now and some of the models he/she refers to are now unavailable and more have come on the market, but I liked the selection criteria he/she used to compare the various models and suggest you use it as well to ensure you are comparing apples to apples.

All things considered, however, I think I’m going for the Cuisinart Elite Die-Cast 16-cup Food Processor at Williams-Sonoma. It is currently among the largest on the market. It is on sale for $299 (and has been for months). There is no shopping around on this one, however; it is a WS exclusive.
If I had big money, though I would definitely consider what may be a very top end model sold by WS—Magimix by Robot-Coupe Food Processor, 16-Cup on sale for just under $500.
Or I might go with the biggest, baddest Cuisinart I’ve seen for household use—the Cuisinart Classic DLC-XPBC 20-Cup Food Processor in Brushed Chrome—for $750. On the very plus side it features, well, 20-cup capacity and a 1-1/2 hp induction motor. On the downside, the motor is only warranted for 5 years, and the dough blade appears to be made of plastic.
Clearly, any of the above would be a serious upgrade from the little, weak Cuisinart I am getting by with today, however. So c’mon ya’ll, and buy some t-shirts! 😉

—Hand mixer. Use the force. In other words, get the most powerful unit you can find. The most powerful ones I found were 250-watt models, and the one that looked the best to me was the Viking Manual 5 Speed Hand Mixer, Metallic Silver. Maxed out power, three-year warranty against manufacturers defects, two sets of beaters, and retractable cord. For heavy dough, you are going to want to use your food processor anyway, so what more could you want?

—Coffee pot(s). Many of my friends mentioned this but didn’t come up with a specific brand or type, so I am going to take it from here as I just ditched my automatic drip machine for two, simpler devices that just so happen to rock.

The first, for any bean grind except “fine,” I run to my Bodum Chambord Coffee Press. You operate by putting in your ground coffee, pouring in your boiling water, and letting sit for four minutes before “pressing.” The result is consistent yumminess without having to do that whole vinegar cleaning nonsense. You can also store it in your cabinet. Look ma, no cords!

The second is for fine ground coffees like espresso—my Bialetti 6800 Moka Express 6-Cup Stovetop Espresso Maker. Goes on the stovetop, on high (ignore the directions about heating at medium or it will take an ice age to get a good steam going), and is even simpler to operate than the French press. Get this: almost fill the bottom with water, put in the bottom filter (metal, easy to clean), fill the filter with coffee, heat. When you hear the gurgle, the top is probably full and once it’s full, it’s pretty much done. I bought the 6-cup version which makes a couple of American-sized mugs or 6 demitasse cups.

—Medelco Cordless Glass Electric Kettle. For boiling water before you can get your burner hot on an electric range. It’s fast as a microwave oven and produces better tasting for tea, coffee, and cooking.

—Milk frother. Great for blending powdered shake mixes into liquid or, you know, frothing milk is the Aerolatte 5 Milk Frother, Satin Finish. Easy to operate, battery powered, and powerful enough for the jobs described above and can sometimes whip a little cream. If you need more RPMs, just switch over to your immersion blender.

—But wait, I hear you cry, didn’t you leave out the —stand mixer?! The STAND mixer!? Please rest assured. I did. And not by accident.

But, I hear you whine, stand mixers come in pretty colors, and when I look at them, visions of Christmas, hot, steamy loaves of homemade bread, brownies, cakes, cookies, and pies dance before my delusional eyes.

Oh, yeah? I retort. And just how long do you suppose it will take the Keebler Elves to give up their tree and start working at your house, Betty Crocker?! In other words, snap out of it already! That’s just the Kitchen-Aid marketing department talking.

Contrary to what you’ve been lead to believe, you are not going to start baking like a mad person, catering out of your back door, or shooting a cooking show in your kitchen, just because you buy one of these things. They will not make you hotter, stronger, faster, smarter, or richer. I promise.

Further, there is virtually nothing an expensive, counter-space monopolizing, dust-gathering stand mixer does that you cannot perform just as well (or better) with a hand mixer, a few good whisks, an immersion blender, and the above-referenced food processor. Further, these few items are far more versatile and/or easier to stow out of the way than that hunk of whirring red metal you’ve got your eye on.

—Other stuff you may want to consider are: (1) an Oxo Good Grips Salad Spinner— can help when trying to dry your rinsed greens or even lingerie. Of course, you could also just drain and air dry your herbs on paper towels (and for goodness sake, get your lingerie out of the kitchen!); (2) a Hamilton Beach Premiere Cookware 5-1/2-Quart Slow Cooker—useful on a party buffet for serving Swedish meatballs or jambalaya and for cooking stuff that requires low and slow heat, like soups and braises; and (3) an electric rice cooker like the Zojirushi NS-LAC05 Micom 3-Cup Rice Cooker and Warmer, Stainless Steel if you want the very best, have a lot of cash to pay for it, and don’t need a lot of rice at a time, or else buy the larger, nearly as well reviewed, and substantially less expensive Aroma 8-Cup Digital Rice Cooker & Food Steamer instead. These things would only be useful, however, if you routinely run out of stove top space when preparing meals and would like to use that burner for more than rice. Otherwise, in my opinion, any rice cooker takes up too much space for too little utility.

N.B. This list assumes you have a refrigerator-freezer, dishwasher, and oven/stove/range. If not, those should be your first priority (obviously). A microwave isn’t on this list for a reason. Please refer to my earlier post of March 29, 2011, “Ditch Your Microwave (and Rediscover Flavor)” to learn why.

—As to can openers, I believe going electric for most of us is way overkill—kind of like using a riding mower to edge your patio. I mean, is it honestly THAT much more effort, for those of us without a joint condition, to turn a large cushy knob than press a large cushy lever? As a result, can openers go in the drawer and cost less than $20. I like sideways, smooth-edge can openers, like the Oxo Good Grips Smooth Edge Can Opener, although my sister liked one by Pampered Chef. You won’t regret the extra cost the first time you DON’T have to dig a lid out of a can of tomatoes!

—Set of All-Clad Stainless Measuring Spoon Set. I know, ridiculously expensive compared with any other ones you find, but you really can get a level measurement using these better than any others I’ve tried. 1/4 teaspoon, 1/2 teaspoon, 1 teaspoon, and 1 tablespoon are the only ones necessary. Those “pinch,” “smidgeon,” “dash” ones are stupid.

—Strainers. Who cares what kind. You will only need them every so often so don’t go more than about the size of a “cup” or two, like these Oxo Good Grips Double Rod Strainer. But do be sure to have them ’cause when you need them, you will really need them!

—Thermometers. At the very minimum, you need a digital meat thermometer like this one, the Taylor Digital Instant-Read Pocket Thermometer and a glass frying/candy making, like this one, the Polder Glass Candy/Deep Fry Thermometer. You may also consider an oven thermometer for monitoring the temperature of your roast without having to actually open the door, like the Taylor Digital Cooking Thermometer/Timer, or just ask Santa to bring you this one in a few months—the Maverick Laser Surface Thermometer. [Please note when researching this entry, I ran across another Maverick Laser Surface Thermometer used by automotive mechanics that was significantly cheaper. I am considering going with the car repair one. I mean, how different can they really be? And, it’s not like you actually TOUCH the food with the thing….]

Knives. Unless you are planning to file a spoon down to a razor sharp edge, another big item you will definitely need is actually a lot of little ones, that is, knives. They can be pricey depending which ones you choose, so this would be another good item to get others to buy for you, Brides.

When choosing a knife, be sure to actually hold each one you are considering. If it isn’t comfortable in your hand, keep moving.

The best material for most kitchen knives is high-carbon stainless steel, as opposed to just stainless or surgical stainless, which is not very good in kitchen knives. Titanium is also good for knives where flexibility is preferred, such as boning knives. Ceramic blades are extremely hard which means they hold an edge well but require special equipment to sharpen. Ceramic knives must be used only on a cutting board and never on a plate, countertop or other glazed surface.

Regardless of the materials used, there are fundamental differences in the way Asian-made knives and European or American knives are constructed, so be sure to learn about the care and sharpening requirements of the knife you select before you buy. As with everything there are pluses and minuses.

Given all of that, the following knives were recommended by our friends:

Now, notwithstanding all of the talk above concerning Wusthof and Henckels, I will confess, I am a fan of a Chicago Cutlery’s Insignia Steel line. (I can hear my foodie-friends’ groans already.) Here’s the qualifier—if you have pro-style chopping speed, you probably already have knives you like to work with. But for us mere mortals, pricey knives may be overkill.

Foodies may snicker because CCs are a heck of a lot less expensive than the German stuff. (A whole set CCs can be had for the price of just one of the larger-size German knives). As a result, they may not be considered all that sexy, but they are good enough for 85% of home cooks in my opinion.

My collection started with a Santoku, and later expanded when I bought a block including something like seven kitchen knives, kitchen shears, and eight steak knives. (Okay, so shoot me!)

Here’s why: I find them well-balanced and easy to sharpen. They hold a nice edge and are very comfortable to hold even during lengthy prep jobs. I saw some negative reviews on Amazon about rust, but I don’t leave them underwater for longer than it takes to hand wash them so I haven’t had that a problem.

Remember with any of these big-boy knives, whether one of the German brands or the Chicago Cutlery, your days of tossing them in the dishwasher are over. Piling them in with the stainless in the cutlery basket will stain them and dull the blades extra quick. I also never leave them in the bottom of the sink for safety reasons and to prevent dulling and the rusting mentioned of above.

Well, that concludes today’s installment of Kitchen Stuff We Can’t Live Without. Join us tomorrow for Gadgets!