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How often do you ask for what you need or desire? Whether it be in our marriage, workplace, or among friends, 77% of people have issues asking for help or advice.

Today we have Wayne Baker, sociologist, consultant, speaker, and the author of All You Have to Do is Ask. His mission is to empower people to fulfill their purpose, goals, and visions so they can become more successful. Wayne discovered that those who ask for help or advice, and also give back, were less frustrated and more effective in all areas of their lives.

He talks about how to practice thoughtful intentional requests that people will be happy to fulfill. He also teaches how to create a psychologically safe environment where our kids feel safe to express their needs and wants.

Learn how the simple art of asking can unlock new ideas and solutions, help you get ahead faster and easier, and solve most of the problems that are weighing you down in this episode!

Wayne Baker

Wayne Baker is an American sociologist, author, consultant, and speaker. He is the Robert P. Thome Professor of Business Administration at the University of Michigan Ross School Of Business, and Faculty Director of the Center for Positive Organizations. He is a co-founder and board member of Give and Take, Inc., a provider of tools based on his new book, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS ASK.

Prior to joining the Michigan faculty, he was on the faculty at the University of Chicago business school. He earned his Ph.D. in sociology from Northwestern University and was a post-doctoral research fellow at Harvard University. Dr. Baker resides in Ann Arbor, Michigan, with his wife, their son, and a Birman cat.

All You Have to Do is Ask

A set of tools for mastering the one skill standing between us and success: the ability to ask for the things we need to succeed.

Imagine you’re on a deadline for a big project, and feeling overwhelmed. Or you’re looking for a new job, but can’t seem to get your foot in the door. Or you’re facing a personal challenge, and just don’t know what to do. What do these problems have in common? They can all be solved simply by reaching out to a colleague, friend, acquaintance, or wider network and making an ask. Studies show that asking for help makes us better and less frustrated at our jobs. It helps us find new opportunities and new talent. It unlocks new ideas and solutions, and enhances team performance. And it helps us get the things we need outside the workplace as well. And yet, we rarely give ourselves permission to ask. Luckily, the research shows that asking—and getting—what we need is much easier than we think.

Here, Wayne Baker shares dozens of tools—used at companies like Google, GM, and IDEO—that individuals, teams, and leaders can use to make asking for help a personal and organizational habit, such as: SMART criteria for making an ask, “plug-and-play” routines that make requests a standard component of meetings, mini-games that incentivize asking within teams, and the Reciprocity Ring and Givitas, tools that allow people to tap into the giving power of a network.

What You’ll Learn

How Wayne Baker and his wife created the “reciprocity ring”

People are always willing to help, but struggle with asking for what they need.

It’s not enough to motivate people to ask, but to give them the tools to do it.

How you can practice getting better at asking for what you need

If you want to make a good request, it has to be thoughtful and intentional.

SMART criteria for asking.

Specific – What exactly are you asking for?

Meaningful – Why are you asking?

Action – What is your plan?

Realistic – Is it a feasible request?

Time – What is the deadline?

How to make a SMART request to your kids

How to make a request of your boss

How the giver/requester dynamic is not an exchange between individuals, but a network

The Sage Syndrome of leaders and how it weakens their effectiveness

What happens when you’re an over-giver—someone who is overly generous and never makes requests will have lower performance.

Men and women need to request (not to demand). This can be learned through practice.

People fear they will seem incompetent in the workplace if they ask for help, but it’s opposite if you make a thoughtful request.

Even strangers are more likely to say yes to a request than we think.

How to make it psychologically safe for people to ask a question or ask for what they want.

The tools that exponentially make a group more and more psychologically safe

Scheduling a time for people to ask for what they need

How to make it psychologically safe for our kids to express their needs and wants

How asking in the workplace creates a leadership moment where people can co-create solutions with you.

You can’t expect people to do something that you don’t do yourself, including asking for help.

People support what they create. This is true at home and the workplace. Asking for help gives others ownership of the situation. They’re invested in its outcome.

Give your kid a limited amount of choices. Practice by participating in their decision-making to help them figure out what they need and want.

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https://gooddadproject.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/TDE-253-All-You-Have-to-Do-is-Ask-with-Wayne-Baker.jpg360706Christa Wojciechowskihttps://gooddadproject.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/GDP-enfold-header-logo.pngChrista Wojciechowski2020-02-09 20:00:192020-02-11 12:09:25All You Have to Do is Ask with Wayne Baker

How can you assess your life and your abilities to discover your super powers?

Today we have Dr. Richard Shuster on the show. He is a Clinical Psychologist, Information Technology Expert, founder of a non-profit called Every Kid Rocks, and the host of The Daily Helping Podcast.

Dr. Shuster shares the story of the near fatal crash that radically shifted his aim in life. He discusses the destructive “trophy case” effect of the internet and what parents should and should not share about their family life on social media.

He also talks about how to create an environment that forces you to grow and how to do a comprehensive assessment of your life so that you can use your super powers to be part of the change process for others.

If the people around you are not singing the message you need to hear, then you need to change your circle.—Dr. Richard Shuster

Dr. Richard Shuster

In his early twenties, Richard Shuster was the Executive Director for an Information Technology consulting firm where he provided solutions for such clients as the United States Army, state agencies, and Fortune 500 companies. He had no interest in a wife and kids. He was after the dollar and believed he was on his way to becoming the next Tony Stark. It was everything he wanted, or so he thought.

One ordinary Saturday, Richard was in a near-fatal crash that broke his spine. The recovery process was long and grueling. During this period, he had time to reflect. He imagined if he had died and how his parents would react when they got that call. When he thought about this scene, he was filled with shame. He hadn’t accomplished anything meaningful in his life.

This lead him on the path to helping people in a larger way by doing social work and pursuing degrees in psychology to help abused children. He also began The Daily Helping Podcast, which is helping people to become the best version of themselves. He’s now married with two boys and committed to a life of service.

On top of that, Dr. Richard Shuster runs Every Kid Rocks, a charity that gives kids an extra little push to reach their full potential. He also has launched MARS Industries, a firm that offers personal and corporate assessments that transform lives.

What You’ll Learn

How his accident wiped away the layers of nonsense in his life

His mission to be part of the change process for others

His insights as a dad from working with sexually and physically abused children

How his podcast will leave hundreds of hours of his legacy behind for his sons

The deceptive “trophy case” persona people curate for the internet

How those who post the most self-aggrandizing content on social media are the least happy

How technology hinders our personal growth

How we create an online world that reinforces our viewpoint, even when it’s wrong

How this restricts our cognitive flexibility, preventing us from learning and growing

How to use social media without getting into the comparison trap

What about your personal and family life is appropriate to post on social media

Why you and your spouse must agree on boundaries about posting family pictures on the internet

How mirror neurons attract us to certain people

The miracle story of Richard’s son and how they overcame his developmental challenges

Why we need to break free from the grind and pursue something greater so our kids won’t settle for unhappiness

His 21 dimensional psychological assessment that will give you a report on how successful you are in life overall