My Life, My Thoughts, My Feelings

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Monthly Archives: June 2014

I’ve hit a wall. I didn’t blog at all yesterday and I don’t know why, except that I don’t feel very much like myself right now. I’m finding it difficult to put words together. I have no idea what I want to say. I feel like a mess at the moment. There are moments when […]

A newborn baby trusts people implicitly. Because they are so dependant, they have no choice. One of the most wonderful memories I have is looking into my newborn son’s eyes and seeing the complete innocence in them, the total and innate trust in me to take care of him. To me, it’s interesting that we […]

I am a stranger to myself. I don’t know who I am, But I don’t like what I see. I am completely alone In a prison made of glass. People won’t stop looking. I am full of pain, But hearts break every day. So what?

Next Monday is my two year wedding anniversary, and my husband and I are going out on our own on a date for the first time in a REALLY long time. I guess when you have young children you get pretty used to taking them everywhere with you, and date nights at home become the […]

The doctor increased my medication dose today. I’m on sertraline, I was previously on 100mg daily and now that’s up to 150mg. I don’t know how I feel about it. I think I do need more, but I’m just worried that being on more will have some kind of adverse affect on me. I’m not […]

Today I feel like I’m floating. I feel like I’m sort of drifting through life feeling numb. I feel like I should feel stressed or low or panicked or something, but there’s just nothing. I’m just going through the motions, doing what I need to do without reacting like I normally do. My house is […]

There were two things I was terrified of about my unknowable future when I was growing up. I was scared I’d never meet ‘the one’ for me, and I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to have children. I was thinking about this today, about my two private adolescent fears, and I realised that […]

I’m in a building full of people but I feel invisible. Nobody can see me, nobody knows who I am. I’m like a ghost, gliding through life feeling empty. My face holds a smile even as I fight the tears in my eyes. A perfect balance; nobody can see the pain. But I can. I […]