A blog for me to share my experiences of depression, from the mundane to the painful, in order to keep my main blog for nice things.
To understand why I started this blog, please see my opening post (http://blackbettyleopard.blogspot.com/2011/05/message-in-bottle.html).
If you have any concerns about what I write, please come and speak to me, either leave a comment or email betty_leopard@hotmail.co.uk

Wednesday, 8 February 2012

Balancing Act

Sorry for being a bad blogger again. Since the New Year my life has been a bit hectic.
My suspension of studies began on the 1st of January, and is currently ongoing. What that basically means is I'm working my butt off still without getting paid. I'm probably working even harder than when I was getting paid because the quicker I get everything done the sooner I can go back and start getting some money in again! Unfortunately the first two weeks of January were completel written off as I had flu :( Really bad flu, even for me. I couldn't think straight or do anything much except sleep, blow my nose and drink. I did begin to feel quite low during that period, not just because I felt so ill but because I began stressing about all the work I wasn't doing. Luckily, the sheer relief of feeling better kinda took the edge off that and I threw myself thoroughly into working.
The month since then has been very up and down. Sometimes I feel great, like I'm achieving loads in my work and that things are back on track. Sometimes like I'm going nowhere really, really fast and that failure is inevitable. I can experience both of those mid sets in the same day, within hours of each other. That on its own is really draining!
I really need to talk to my supervisor about the next stage, what I'll be doing when I'm officially back. I'm dreading it, but am thankful that I can, at least initially, do it via email. I find it so much easier to communicate in writing, especially in situations where I'm nervous. I can explain myself better in writing, make sure I say everything I need to, clearly and am less likely to just cave in and go along with whatever the other person thinks is best :/

What with Christmas, illness, work and this hideously cold weather, my exercise regime has completely gone out the window. Luckily, I haven't gained much weight yet. I'm still skeptical about the mood benefits of exercise, I feel pretty good straight after but that fades pretty quickly :/

I'm still seeing my therapist. I've had a lot of really good, productive sessions lately. I've realised a lot of things about myself that I can work on and I have really felt like I've bettered myself through it. My last session wasn't as great, I left feeling a bit weird and mixed up again, but that might just have been hormones.

Anyway, that's an update on me. Hopefully I'll get back to some more regular posting again.
Thank you for all still following.
If you have any questions you'd like me to offer my opinions on, either privately or on here, let me know either in the comments or by email.
Love

1 comment:

Hi Bets, no need to apologise for not posting. If your other followers are like me, we're reading your make up and fashion tips :-)Talking of fashion, I've been buying several hats recently. Keeping my head warm during this cold spell has been a bit of spur. Be lucky x