Mary Gosche, Human Development
Specialist, Cape Girardeau County and Southeast Region,
University of Missouri Extension

A child's likelihood of experiencing adjustment problems
following a divorce depends upon the child's temperament
and the quality of the mother's parenting style,
according to a new study by University of Washington and
Arizona State University psychologists. "We know divorce
creates more stress for children because kids move,
change schools and have an increase in short-term
problems with their parents. This means children in
divorced families are a greater risk of developing
adjustment problems," said Liliana Lengua, an Assistant
Professor of Psychology at the University of Washington
and lead author of the study.

The study also found that children who exhibit what's
called "high positive emotionality" (a measure of
cheerfulness, laughing and smiling) were better able to
handle a distracted mother. These children may have more
positive interactions and relationships with other
people that soften the impact of maternal rejection. The
goal of the study was to identify children at risk and
to prevent problems with their parents while promoting
positive qualities in children.

What do children of divorce need
from their mom and dad?

Children need both of you to stay involved with
their life.

Stop fighting and work hard to get along with
each other.

Allow the child to enjoy the time that they
spend with each of you.

Communicate directly with each other so that the
child does not have to send messages back and forth.

When talking about my other parent, please say
only nice things, or don't say anything at all.

Please remember that your child wants both of
you to be part of their life.

Divorce is a difficult adjustment for children and
parents. All family members must deal with a wide
variety of emotions and make changes in the way they
live. However, despite their own struggles in the
divorce process, parents still have an obligation to
provide their children with love, nurturing and sense of
stability. With time, patience and creativity, children
and parents can work through the adjustment process.

For more information on divorce, contact your local
extension office and ask for guidesheets
GH6600 Helping Children Understand Divorce and
GH6602 Activities for Helping Children Deal with
Divorce.