Sunday, September 28, 2008

J.P. Morgan Chase Buys TCBY Because It Feels Like It

Just days after it's purchase of Washington Mutual from federal regulators, J.P. Morgan chase announced Monday that it had bought TCBY, the nations largest frozen yogurt chain. The move came as a surprise in the wake of the current financial crisis which has left the markets in turmoil and often found Chase in the role of the last minute savior, especially in the case of WaMu, the nations largest savings and loan, which Chase purchased 1.9 billion worth of it's assets Friday after it was seized by the federal government in what is being considered the largest bank failure in American history. "We just felt like we could all use a treat," said CEO Jamie Dimon, "It's been a rough couple of weeks, and we just wanted to thank everyone for being such a trooper."

"Plus," he added, in between licks on a Caramel Apple swirl, "who the fuck is going to stop us?"