Wow, reading your posts makes me feel very sorry for your wife that her partner is so highly critical of her. You would probably find fault in how she breathes. Egad. I suggest therapy or counseling so you can look at how angry you are - you come off to me as quite passive-aggressive in how you let your OSO make plans for your family and then whine and complain about your wife for simply not wanting your OSO all up in her business. Why shouldn't your wife want to run her own life and not have to cater to her metamour's expectations? Sheesh! Your OSO should just be responsible for her own relationship with you, and nothing more.