Receiving Is Not A Passive Act

by Lynn Brewer Dec 4, 2015

I have a confession to make.

For the last few weeks, I’ve been a lazy strokee.

It doesn’t really matter how it started. What matters is that I stopped putting my attention out during my OMs. I stopped giving adjustments to guide my stroker to the spot of most sensation. I stopped checking in with my body to notice what was happening. I even stopped caring if I got a “yes” or a “no” when I asked for an OM.

I stopped receiving as an active act. And believe me, I was not the only one impacted by that.

Many people think that because “the woman just lays there” she is not actively contributing to the OM, when really, nothing could be further from the truth. We call OM a partner practice, and both partners must participate in order for the OM to bring the Orgasm out. The stroker can stroke for his or her pleasure all day long, but if the strokee is shut down from the experience in any way, there will be a noticeable decrease in sensation for both partners.

My partner definitely noticed. And it impacted more than our OM practice. It bled over into the intimacy between us, our marriage, how we communicate we each other, even our business. It got to a point when I had to do something to reverse our course.

So I started actively receiving in my OMs with him. I put my attention out — on me, my partner, and my body. I gave him every adjustment he needed to get to the spot of most sensation. I cared if I OMed or not. The change was immediately noticeable to both of us. More sensation, more desire, both in the nest as well as outside it. Our sex life’s heat and intensity has suddenly skyrocketed. Our communication with one another has gotten tighter and happens more in real time. Even business is picking up with new opportunities and innovations.

Consider it a lesson learned (not the first, certainly not the last); when I stopped actively receiving my partner’s strokes, the same apathy bled into the rest of my life. As in OM, as in life.