Archive for February, 2011

If you can believe it, this is Day 28 of 28 Days to Getting Your Sh*t Together. Friday, David Garland got us talking about our VALUE and how we price ourselves when we do our meaningful work out in the world. Such a great post to start bringing this series to a close1

As a quick refresher, take a look back at Day 1. Some of you were here, some of you weren’t – and that is ok. But I want you to scroll through the comments to get an idea of where this all began.

To me it seems like a lifetime ago. So much has changed for me I can hardly put it all into words.

But this post isn’t about me.

Because, for me, the true highlight of the past 28 days has been watching all of you.

I have intentionally stayed in the background of the conversations you were having because I never want the tribe to be dependent on me. And boy did you all rise to the challenge.

Such magical shifts, conversations and relationships have unfolded here – such a joy to watch.

You are positively astonishing.

So what I would like you to share is this: what is the one highlight of the 28 Days that stands out for you? It might be a favorite post, an ah-ha, a friendship, a comment, a business/life opportunity – anything!

So re-visit the person you were 28 days ago and share a little about who you are now.

This is Day 25 of 28 Days to Getting Your Sh*t Together. On Thursday, Jonathan Fieldsgot us thinking about intentional choices – particularly around where it is we choose to live. SO many people are now researching potential new places – yay!! Today, David Garland is going to offer his brilliant take on – wow! charging for what it is we do out there. 🙂

This is Day 24 of 28 Days to Getting Your Sh*t Together. Yesterday, Terry Starbucker gave us such an awesome pratical (and often overlooked) tool for getting our sh*t together. Jonathan Fields takes the spotlight today to challenge our decision, or lack thereof, about something near and dear to us. Get ready!

The Most Important Decision Most People Never Make

There’s a decision that we all make that has a huge impact on nearly every aspect of our lives–from health to happiness to income and even relationships. Yet, the vast majority of us make this decision…by never making it. We just let it happen then often complain about how it’s affecting us for years or decades. Breaking free and redefining life on our terms means looking seriously at this one defining choice, often for the first time in earnest. Want to know what it is, already? Watch the video. Then feel free to share how you’ve explored the question and choice in the comments below.

This is Day 23 of 28 Days to Getting Your Sh*t Together. I knew you would love Ken Moorhead’s post yesterday. Your comments and questions were incredible. 🙂 Today, Terry Starbucker is going to talk about something that is near and dear to my own getting-my-shit-together strategy, writing it down. Get out that pen and paper!

Hey, Write It Down! (Or, Joe Jackson Had It Right – You Can’t Get What You Want Until You Know What You Want)

Here’s the scene: A 33 year-old man sits in his small office in a converted horse barn somewhere in rural Virginia, staring at a yellow legal pad. He’s bored, disillusioned, and borderline depressed.

Three years prior to this moment he moved 3,000 miles on a promise of great opportunity, but alas, the opportunity did not materialize. Rather, it was a move to oblivion, “working” on a project that did not exist, and for a man who ruled by fear and ridicule (especially in front of other people).

It was 1993, so there wasn’t even an Internet to help him find some solace as the clock went tick, tick, tick – no, it was just him and that yellow pad.

He had hit a huge career pothole, and was at wits end as to how to recover. Should he just quit? Nope, too risky – there was a recession going on. So, what could this young man do?

On this day, thankfully, something happened that would change his life for the better. He would figure out what he really wanted.

All it took was the merger of that yellow pad, and a felt-tip pen. This unhappy man decided to start writing – not for anybody else, but for himself.

He started first by writing about how he got to this place, and the dreams he had coming out of college, and how he so enjoyed his first few years in the workplace, not yet burdened by any worries about the future. He was like a sponge, learning every day.

He got his first taste of leadership responsibilities back then, and he liked it. That was good to write down – “I liked to lead”. But why? He kept writing.

As one sentence led to another, something became clear – what he really liked about leadership was the simple act of making a difference. Contributing to something bigger than himself. Helping and teaching others.

It was all flowing out of his pen now, these things that made him happy. And that’s when he realized what he really wanted.

“I want to be a leader”, he wrote. “I want to make a difference, and do it authentically, in my way. With respect and empathy, and not fear. To inspire, instead of tear down”.

This simple act of writing filled this man with hope, and better still, with a crystalized intent.

That’s the day Terry Starbucker got his s**t together.

Eventually, I got what I wanted. I became the leader that was described on that legal pad.

In hindsight, I truly believe that writing it down was the most important step I took to getting my career mojo back.

And to this day, whenever I need to put another dream “out there”, I turn away from my electronic devices and pull out that legal pad.

Try it yourself, and see what I mean. Hey, Write it Down!

______________________________________________________________

Terry Starbucker is a former service company executive with more than 28 years in the business world, and writes about his experiences and success stories on his blog, “Ramblings From a Glass Half Full“. He is also active in the social media community as a co-founder of SOBCon, one of the premier annual gatherings of online business practitioners.

You can also follow Terry on Twitter (he’s @starbucker), where he loves to play virtual disk jockey and share his love of music, and on Facebook.

This is Day 22 of 28 Days to Getting Your Sh*t Together. Yesterday, Danny Brown help us spellbound with his post on dying and living. In a decided change of pace, my very funny friend, Ken Moorhead, shares his unique viewpoint on why we should ask for sh*t. You’ll love it. 🙂

Just Ask

Sooo, hi. I’m Ken, and uhh… I’m skipping right into the meat of my post and putting my bio below, because you came here to read some shit and I’d rather get right to that because none of you have any fraking clue who I am. So, hi, I’m Ken, I’m not nearly as important on the internet as everyone else posting in this series, and I’m very pleased to have you read this.

You are a beautiful, marvelous person and I love you.

But… (Now I’m going to punch you in the neck because I can’t write more than a single line of niceness)

You need to start asking for shit. Really asking for shit. Like, “Dude, I need to catch a break, will you throw me some rope?” I’m not talking about favors or quid pro quo, nor is this about walking around like the world owes you. But instead of being shy or humble or apologetic about wanting or needing something from someone, just fraking ask. The worst that will happen is you’re turned down.

It’s well-documented in my workplace that sales is decidedly not one of my skills. But that’s where I started, and I like to think I learned at least one or two things along the way. The lesson that stuck most has been building relationships for a purpose. Conceptually, sales is simple: talk to people. Figure out if they’re interested. Ask why. Ask what they value. Understand the person’s needs and goals, explore together how you can help fulfill those needs and accomplish those goals. If you do this, you earn the right to ask for the business.

Recently I found myself a bit frustrated and weary with my job, and not entirely sure where to turn. I wound up firing off a few emails late one evening to some prominent marketers I was loosely connected with saying, “Hey, I don’t know that I’m looking for anything right now, but do you know anyone who might be interested in me?”

That’s pretty scary and daunting for a twenty-four year old, I won’t lie. But twenty minutes later I had a lunch meeting scheduled with a very interested party. The day after the lunch, I spoke with my boss and came clean to him, “Man, I’m just not happy here right now and it’s really frustrating. What kind of options do we have for redefining my role a bit? I really don’t want to just leave.” A week later and I’m on some projects I really enjoy and am pretty excited with my professional life again.

Both of these instances were really scary for me – reaching out to people I didn’t know that well, who definitely don’t owe me any favors, and asking for what I needed from them. Talking with my boss as a very young professional and asking for what I needed to be a better employee had me pretty nervous as well. It was a bit terrifying, but I knew I had invested in those relationships up enough where I felt I had earned the right to ask for the business.

So!

What’s frustrating you in your life right now? Who can you ask to throw you a rope and help you get your shit together today?

Well, Sarah asked if I’d be game to do a blog post and I agreed – why wouldn’t I? I didn’t realize at the time that I’d be mentioned in the same breath as some really important people – hell, I can’t even get myself a proper headshot. I’m 24 years old and work in operations for Compendium software, where I’m responsible for monitoring and analyzing just about every facet of the business and providing the information that fuels decisions company-wide. I’m also a grad student working on my MBA in marketing and a full-time nerd who loves DC Comics. At the time of this post I’m working on ways to automate some really sophisticated web analytics reports to understand our software and give our clients better insights, and in my free time (dear God I can’t believe this is what I’m doing in my free time) I’m hacking together different ways to more effectively target Twitter users and segment individual Twitter networks for marketing purposes. You can email me at [email protected] or follow me on The Twitter @kenmoorhead.

Welcome to Week #4! ! Can you believe this is Day 21 of 28 Days to Getting Your Sh*t Together. Friday, Reese Spykerman knocked it out of the park with “One True Voice”. Today, one of my oldest “twitter friends, Danny Brown, shares a story that will stop your heart, and then start it again. I am touched beyond measure that he’s chosen to share it here, with you.

You Don’t Have to Die to Live

I don’t often speak about this. It’s probably not the kind of topic you talk about at dinner, or on a first date, or when you meet prospective in-laws.

Sometimes, though, it’s a good reminder that even dark turns to light, and the follies of youth can make a huge impact on the paths we take as adults. I know this was the case for me, as it made me face my demons. Maybe it’ll help you too.

That year was a pretty crappy one for me.

The dog that we’d have for thirteen years died. Sam had seen me through all my school years and had been my best friend. Unfortunately, dog cancer doesn’t really care for friendships, as I found it.

My cousin was also killed whilst on a military patrol in Northern Ireland. It was his first active duty as a soldier, and his unit were ambushed while on night patrol. Three men were killed, and my cousin was one. He was just 18 years old.

My first serious girlfriend also left me. We’d been together two years and, like any teenager high on hormones, I thought it was the real thing. I didn’t know Coca-Cola had already trademarked that term, which meant that my real thing was nothing of the sort.

So, um, yeah – a pretty shitty year.

Tipping the Waterfall

I’m not really sure what the snapping point was. I mean, you don’t usually try and kill yourself just because you’re upset – it’s normally a more depression-led act, no? Or maybe it isn’t – I failed, so I’m not the world’s best person to offer a perspective on it.

Whatever it was, it led to me downing a bottle of scotch and a jar of the finest sleeping tablets, and getting ready to see if there was anything on the other side.

Except I didn’t make it to the other side.

My sister found me, dialed an ambulance, and with about thirteen minutes of my life left, my stomach was lying on the floor of one of Scotland’s many hospitals. Unlucky thirteen? Depends how you look at it.

Initially, I felt sorry for myself. I didn’t want to be alive – wasn’t that the whole reason I’d spent a big chunk of my pitiful labourer’s wage on the best scotch? Why was I in a hospital ward when instead I wanted to be on a hospital trolley on the way to the morgue?

My parents were the ones that brought me round and showed me that you don’t need to die to live.

We hadn’t been close up until then. We were the typical nuclear family, except we were also the typical first-generation satellite television family as well, and TV was our dinner conversation.

But after that day in my twentieth year, things changed.

Generation Gap?

My mother was amazing. She opened up and told me a lot of things about herself that I had no idea about.

How she’d considered taking her own life at around the same age as I was now, when she found out she was pregnant. A teenager, pregnant to a married man, and living with the extremely religious people that were my grandparents.

She needn’t have worried – my grandparents turned out to be amazing and supportive, and my mother had the baby. To this day I still think that’s why I loved my grandparents the way I did – they gave me the chance of life.

My mother helped me overcome my sadness. She helped me remember my cousin and think about the way he lived, and not how he died. She helped me choose just the right dog to honour the memory of Sam, as opposed to forgetting him.

She also helped me understand that first loves are the ones you fondly remember; but very rarely the ones you reminisce with.

And it was because of all this that my mum helped me finish University, and get the degree that would shape my life.

Get Busy Living Or Get Busy Dying

Thanks to my education, I’ve been fortunate to work at some of the most amazing companies around. The business education I got at these companies gave me the skills I needed to start working for myself a few years back.

That decision – and the unflinching support of my wife and friends – saw me hook up with an amazing guy called Troy Claus and start our own marketing agency last year. While there are still hiccups, life is pretty good – I feel very fortunate.

But I also know that it took a lot of hard work and the realization that things don’t always work out the way we want them to – but that’s okay.

Life is often shit, and it kicks us hard in places we don’t want to be kicked (unless that’s your thing, then kick away).

But we can kick it right back.

We have a choice, every single day. We have the ability to live, or to die. Not die in the physical sense – we don’t have a choice there. But every victory we let slip away, we die. Every moment we can grab but let go of, we die.

But that can stop now.

So. Take a pen and a journal, and sit down and begin writing. Uninterrupted. Until you’ve finished what you need to say.

● Make a list of every single thing you’ve let go and cross off the ones you had no choice in.

● Prioritize the remainder and put the ones that are still affecting you now to the top.

● Pick the most prominent entry on the list, and make that your personal nemesis.

● Research what you need to do to beat this enemy. Google is your friend, but your friends are your Google too – ask if any of them have had to overcome a similar challenge. To do this, you’re going to need to leave pride at the door.

● Make a battle plan of small victories. Be realistic, but be rigorous with the timescale you want to afford this nemesis.

● Get the support of friends, and family (and professionals, where needed), and view your nemesis as the single thing that can give you life; but to do so, it has to die.

I won’t lie – it’s not going to be easy. You’ll have to overcome some fears, demons and other personal pride stuff along the way. But nothing great ever comes easy.

Dying is easy – our breathing just stops. Living? That’s hard – because from the moment we’re born, we’re forcing ourselves to take another breath every second.

Then again, there’s not a lot you can accomplish when you’re dead – and you don’t have to die to prove that.

Ready to start on that list?

Danny is co-founder and partner atBonsai Interactive Marketing, offering integrated marketing, social media, digital and mobile marketing solutions and applications.His blog is featured in the AdAge Power 150 list as well as Canada’s Top 50 Marketing Blogs, and won the Hive Award for Best Social Media Blog at the 2010 South by South West festival. He is also founder of the 12for12k Challenge, a social media-led charity initiative that’s raised more than $100,000 since January 2009. Follow Danny on Twitter at@DannyBrown.

>> Over 500 people are so committed to getting their sh*t together inFebruary that they are getting a DAILY email from me. And new people are
STILL joining!!It’s not toolate to join them for a kick-ass month!http://ow.ly/3SszM<<

This is Day 18 of 28 Days to Getting Your Sh*t Together. Yesterday, Pace Smith inspired us to change the (our) world AND to really connect with others who can help us do that in a meaningful way. I knew you’d love her. 🙂 Today, my amazingly talented (she’s the designer of choice for many of the rockstars who’ve already posted here) and deeply insightful friend, Reese Spykerman shares her thoughts on the One True Voice you should be listening to. It’s awesome. 🙂

Among her many topics is diet culture, about how we listen to the authority of others, versus our own bodies, when it comes to choosing how and what to eat. In her book Breaking Free from Emotional Eating (Dear men in the house, please bear with me for 2 paragraphs), she writes:

“We eat what the current authority tells us to eat, when we are told to eat it. And because the current authority is usurped monthly by a more current authority, what and when we feed ourselves also changes – and often.”

Getting our shit together is no different.

Bookstores and marketing departments make gazillions in releasing titles and information that tell us what to do to be more productive, more romantic, more organized, less stressed, more hyped, leaner, bolder, blonder, more rich, more happy, more everything, less some things.

In recent years, there’s the addition of a new veneer of individualism or “authenticity” thrown in just to take our egos for a new ride.

And we believe them. We believe in the wisdom of someone’s face on a book more than we believe in ourselves, even when we think we’re being rebels in what we do.

We figure that anyone gifted (or is it really connected?) enough to get a book published must know something more than we know.

Or we think that nomadic woman who built her six-figure business in a year must know a thing or two that we don’t, and we are lesser beings accordingly.

Maybe she does. Maybe she doesn’t. But in choosing, consistently, to listen more to the mantras of others than we do to the song inside of ourselves, we live a life of denial.

Our true heart is left rejected. We’ll walk around with uncertainty, until some book or product seems to pave the way and hold the secrets, and then, for a flint of a moment, we strut a bit because we think we know now what to do.

We think the path is clear.

Then the path fails, or perhaps it succeeds for a short while, but before long we’re empty again and craving the advice of someone else to tell us something else about how the hell to make our lives something better.

The cycle never ends. There will, I promise, always be a trove of books, programs and gurus at the ready to sell you what they know.

The problem isn’t with the selling or the commercialization or the marketing.

The problem is we give all that more credence than we’re ever willing to dare to give ourselves.

And we are left thirsty and small, stuck in a Gravatron ride of advice, success (or failure), dejection, advice, success/failure, dejection, uncertainty, advice, and onward.

After years of this, it’s frightening to imagine looking within for the enlightenment we seek. So much conditioning leads to chronic self-doubt.

We stand frozen, facing a battle between our egos, which think we should continue as planned, and our souls, which never feel heard.

So what do you to stop this mess? Self-admonishment and drastic measures are rarely the answer. You could stop all at once or you could be kind to yourself and a bit patient and begin extracting yourself from the commercialized relationships that are their own special brand of Xanax.

You let one go, you see how that feels.

Maybe you question one internally. “Does this person really know what’s best for me?”

Maybe you start defining your own rules and order for scheduling in your life.

And then you begin to question the next thing you stumble across that promises magical secrets.

What about your own wild, passionate magical secrets?

Do they not deserve to be heard?

Will you not allow them a voice, just for you? A moment on the stage, a chance with the mic?

There’s so much discomfort surrounding this prospect. We’ll avoid immediate discomfort at all costs, even if our long-term mental health and sanity are at stake.

To choose your own voice’s wisdom when it comes to doing your Big Thing or living your life or communicating with your partner or getting your shit together, it’s a courageous act.

It’s you being brave.

There is no overnight change, at least not in my experience. No earth-shattering ah ha, no American-Idol-winning moment. While there will always be a need and desire for the wisdom and help of others, there is the realization that enough is enough, and the path before you is incredibly foggy, but it is YOURS.

Your path. Your way. Your wisdom.

You will fall and you will get lost. Unlike the usual list of promises and benefits, I’m not going to sell you bullshit on this one. The paths of others will converge with yours and often they will try to pull your path in their direction.

And if you follow that – if you believe their paths are more worthy than your own, you find yourself five years from now wondering where you went, how you got here, and why you feel so stripped inside.

The way out isn’t found through me, or through Sarah, or through the bloggers and marketers you admire.

The way out is you. I don’t know what that path looks like, and neither, probably, do you.

That’s the rub.

But that is also where you find peace, where you dance not with jaded bitterness of all you know now and your journey thus far, but with joy over the uncertainty.

When you get your shit together in this way, it’s not a grounded thing. It’s not a finite, directed path.

But in the uncertainty of listening to our own musings and thoughts, we begin to feel whole again.

We find hardships are lighter. Creativity comes with more ease. There’s a softening to everything until the seasons of our goals and milestones blend together kindly.

We see that what may be a greater path than making a grand impact on thousands of people is making a life-changing impact on a few we love dearly. Our egos quiet, and we make things out of love and passion, regardless of their end scale.

And it becomes enough. More than enough. It becomes a life where “having it all together” really means trusting, above all else, in ourselves.

Reese Spykerman is a designer who goes to the antique store and farmers market and library to get inspiration for her work. In 2011, getting her shit together looks something like a return to work just for herself. You can connect with her on Twitter at @reese.

>> Over 500 people are so committed to getting their sh*t together in February that they are getting a DAILY email from me. And new people are STILL joining!!It’s not toolate to join them for a kick-ass month!http://ow.ly/3SszM<<

This is Day 17 of 28 Days to Getting Your Sh*t Together. Yesterday, Carol Rothled a really insightful discussion about setting goals. The comments are awesome! Today, one of my smartest and sweetest friends (she sings to me on twitter, Pace Smith is going to fire up your engines on changing the world. Yay!

How You Can Change the World, and Why You Don’t Have to Do It Alone

In this video, Pace explains how you can change the world, and why you don’t have to do it alone.

Pace Smith is the co-leader of the Connection Revolution, teaching people how to change the world through connection. She speaks, writes, and teaches workshops to foster understanding, healing, empowerment, authentic communication, and personal growth. She’s a spiritual geek, a peaceful entrepreneur, and a starry-eyed idealist.

>> Over 500 people are so committed to getting their sh*t together
in February that they are getting a DAILY email from me. It’s not toolate to join them for a kick-ass month!http://ow.ly/3SszM<<

This is Day 16 of 28 Days to Getting Your Sh*t Together. Yesterday, Barry Moltz got everyone thinking about their ONE task (know what your is today?) so we can make more awesome stuff happen. Today you are in for a real treat as author and super savvy entrepreneur coach Carol Roth offers up her help on getting first things first. Let’s kick it!!

First Thing You Need is a Goal

Carol Roth helps businesses grow and make more money. An investment banker, business strategist and deal maker, she has helped her clients, ranging from solopreneurs to multinational corporations, raise more than $1 billion in capital, complete hundreds of millions of dollars in M&A transactions, secure high-profile licensing and partnership deals, create brand loyalty programs and more. Carol is a frequent radio, television and print media contributor on the topics of business and entrepreneurship, having appeared on Fox News, MSNBC, Fox Business, WGN TV Chicago and is also signed to LA-based t.v. production company Snackaholic who is currently developing a television show around Carol’s life as a business expert and personality.

This is Day 15 of 28 Days to Getting Your Sh*t Together. Yesterday, John Haydon really kicked up the conversation on how we see ourselves, talk about ourselves and FEEL about ourselves (and now you know why I <heart> him so). The post Barry Moltz shares today was clearly written just for me. I only hope the rest of you get as much out of it as I did. 🙂

Focus on Tasks not Time

Albert Einstein said that the definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing and expect to get different results. This is the way many of us lead our lives and why it is so difficult to get our sh*t together. We get stuck in doing the same thing over and over again, but still expect to progress towards our goal.

Do any of these symptoms sound familiar?

You are getting less done despite “furious” multitasking. Remember that multitasking is a myth and actually reduces your productivity by 50%. It takes 20 minutes to go back to the original task once distracted!

Your day is filled with distractions. In fact, you “go looking for interruptions” that prevent you from getting done what you are suppose to do. It doesn’t feel very good at the end of the day.

You have no committed plan at the beginning of each day and wander from task to task until the day is over.

You let your unlimited access to the World Wide Web become an unlimited world wide waste of time.

In order to break free, forget about time. Forget about trying to cram as many tasks in a small period of time as possible. Unfortunately, technology pushes us there with the expectation that we will all be available 24/7 and the ability to work “Anywhen” (to quote Chris Brogan). As a result, we all have the fear of getting behind. Unfortunately, In this fast paced world, the cost of a rushed decision is multiplied.

In order to get unstuck and get your sh*t together, start focusing on tasks not time. At the beginning of each day or week (which ever time period makes sense for your life and business), name the one critical thing that you must get done to move toward your goal. Start with this and do not move on to any other tasks until it is done. For example, you have a big project due for your least favorite client. Do that first in the day until it’s done. Follow it up with something you enjoy doing as a reward.

Finally, in order to focus and increase your productivity, limit the interruptions. Turn off the email, chat, cell phone and social media notifications during this time when you are doing a critical task. Controlling the overwhelming inflow of information is critical to getting unstuck.

At the end of each day, ask yourself. “Did you accomplish the one thing you wanted for today?”

Barry Moltz has founded and run small businesses with a great deal of success and failure for more than 15 years. He gets business owners unstuck by unlocking their long forgotten potential. His first book, “You Need to Be A Little Crazy: The Truth about Starting and Growing Your Business” describes the ups and downs and emotional trials of running a business. His second book, “Bounce! Failure, Resiliency and the Confidence to Achieve Your Next Great Success”, shows what it takes to comeback and develop true business confidence. His third book , “BAM! Delivering Customer Service in a Self-Service World” shows how customer service is the new marketing.