Example

Stories, song, dance, movies portray best friends, pals for life, as the norm, reinforce the notion that people are destined to have a "best friend," a true confidant to ensure survival or inclusivity within the herd.

Definition of Best Friend

Someone

to value above other friends

with whom you enjoy sharing common interests, (hobbies, food...)

you trust

in whom you can confide

you call to share good news

As a child, my Shadow had a best friend. Although she was our best friend, we were not her best friend. The category "best friend" fulfilled a category within my Shadow's friend's sphere of friends.

The category "best friend" fulfilled a category within my friend's sphere of friends.

This arrangement puzzled my Shadow. How one person could consider another as a best friend who was not a best friend in return.

The absence of identical, reciprocal friendship created a life problem.

Life Problem:

We do not have a best friend

People are supposed to have a best friend.

We don't, therefor we are deficient, lacking

Rule of Two

The nagging doubt which informs of this deficiency in personality is the inner guard protecting the Id from acknowledging your role in forming relationships.

Existence vs Relatedness

Survival vs Thrill

Deficient vs Capable

Either or choices provide 'do or die' arguments with little room for growth. Do or die arguments take place in the emotional realm, where devils and angels, ethics and morality, battle for control of the self.

Relatedness (Chaos), Existence (Control), Growth

Predicament:

Before we Can Increase our number of Friends, we must determine whether the need, indeed, exists to obtain a friend or a "best friend".

Break down the qualities of a friend through determination of need based upon the ERG theory: Existence, Relatedness, Growth

What is a Friend to Existence?

What is the meaning of a Best Friend to existence, the survival quality of we?

A safe friend ensures our continued existence but in order to locate the safe friend we must take risks.

Conflict between Existence and Relatedness

relies upon prior memory, reactions to prejudge the conflict for quickest resolution.

A best friend to Existence is the friend who helps us survive.

Friends to Existence and Relatedness ensure status quo.

What is a Friend to Growth?

What is the meaning of a Best Friend to the Growth quality of we.

The Growth friend encourages improvement to our continued existence.

Existence: Safe Friend

Relatedness: Chaos Friend

Growth: Friend

Qualities of a Safe Friend

Admits weaknesses

Spiritual

Open to feedback, concern, criticism

Humble

Apologizes

Admits problems

Forgives others

Trustworthy

Honest

Dependable

Loyal

Truthful

Willing to change

Supportive

History

Qualities of a Relatedness Friend

Displays positive emotions

Are Warm and competent

Display Shared values

Reveals flaws

Make Casual touches

Smile

Keep secrets

Possess a Sense of humour

Are Vulnerable

Act like they are your friend

Good listeners

Able to be non-judgmental

Are fun to be around

Appear self-confident

Practice reciprocity of liking

A cheerleader

Qualities of a Growth Friend.

Possesses a growth mindset

Has passion for learning

Is intelligent and creative

Appreciates a challenge

Willingness to fail

Is capable of growth and change

Shares interests

Brings new perspectives, ideas, experiences, and advice

Like a Prophet

Like a Clown

Places friendship before principles

Desired Qualities of a Best Friend

Now that we have gathered and compiled all criteria necessary to determine what a qualified, bona fide, paterfamilias friend is all about, where do we find such a perfect being who fits snugly into our carefully balanced friend mould?

Growth (Self)

Realizes perfectly OK not to have a "Best Friend" and perhaps stories, songs, dances, movies which portray best friends, pals for life is an ideology to promote social cohisiveness within a society for the greater good of a community but not necessarily for the greater good of the individual (self).

That one "best friend" is not necessary for growth.

Why have one "best Friend" when you can have hundreds or more. Not the ravaging hoards on Twitter or facebook sort of friends but real friends in specific categories within your mind based upon criteria of need.

Now that the baggage of doubt, insecurity, deficiency and lacking are resolved in this particular sphere of existence, we may concentrate upon what qualifies a good or bad person.

We assume people are good within our paradigm of what constitutes a good person in our sphere of existence.

What constitutes the sphere of existence depends upon our accumulated experiences, memories and learning which we utilize to determine basic safety, survival, social skills in order to continue our existence.