Terrifying Drug-Resistant Supergonorrhea is Coming For Us All

Remember how in sex ed it was basically like as long as you don’t get HIV, STDs aren’t really that big of a deal? And how I have this one VERY cruisey friend who one time woke up with something he referred to as “drippy penis,” and how when he went to the doctor the diagnosis was crotch AND throat gonorrhea, and we were like hilarious, that is so classic? Well, no more.

Because of our wanton ways with antibiotics, a literal miracle we were handed and promptly started shoving into our food cows to make them able to live in shitpiles without dying, a completely antibiotic-resistant strain of gonorrhea has emerged. As one would expect, that is very bad news.

“”This organism has basically been developing resistance against every medication we’ve thrown at it,” said Dr. Manjula Lusti-Narasimhan, a scientist in the agency’s department of sexually transmitted diseases. This includes a group of antibiotics called cephalosporins currently considered the last line of treatment.

“In a couple of years it will have become resistant to every treatment option we have available now,” she told The Associated Press in an interview ahead of WHO’s public announcement on its ‘global action plan’ to combat the disease.

Resistance to cephalosporins was first reported in Japan, but more recently has also been detected in Britain, Australia, France, Sweden and Norway. As these are all countries with well-developed health systems, it is likely that cephalosporin-resistant strains are also circulating undetected elsewhere. [ABC News]

Welcome to the club, gonorrhea! You can hang out with your buddies drug-resistant TB and MRSA while the rest of us reconsider our blowjob condom policies.