Once upon a time, in an alcohol-soaked land not so far away, there lived a lovely girl who was known far and wide for her blunt honesty...
This is her version of how it all went to hell in a handbasket.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Welcome to God's Pantry...

My cousin's son, at the tender age of 5, has everything figured out. He thinks that when you go to heaven you get to go into God's pantry and help yourself to anything you like... He also says that Pope John Paul II was not bound for God's pantry. (That part of the story requires a little explaining, but suffice it to say that it was really entertaining to hear that the pope didn't make the cut)

you really gotta hand it to kids, they are an honest bunch, and they will always find a way to say some things in a way that will throw you for a loop.

================================

41 things: (I got this in an e-mail and the questions posed were interesting so I decided to post my replies here... Feel free to reply as well.)

1) My uncle once: Stabbed my grandpa with a fork to get the last porkchop.

2) Never in my life: have I knowingly broken someone's heart.

3) When I was five: I was envious of my big brother because he got to go to school and I didn't... now that I am done with school many years later I can't understand why I was jealous.

4) High school was: a place I never felt like I fit in.

5) I will never forget: my mother's love.

6) I once met: Prince. (among others.)

7) There's this girl I know who: after knowing me for a semester named her new car after me.

8) Once at a bar: I tackled one of my best friends in a blind-drunken-stupor and did some serious damage to my chin... as well as getting us tossed from the bar. (Shameful I know, but it was a birthday weekend!)

9) By noon I'm usually: slinging flowers.

10) Last night: didn't get enough packing done.

11) If only I had: all the answers... and a puppy.

12) Next time I go to church: I'll be only a block from my home. (new home is very close to church)

13) Terry Schiavo: died a tragic and divisive death.

14) I have a confession to make: I have put multiple toothbrushes in toilets... Meredith's is the only one I have ever admitted to until now.

15) When I turn my head left: Naked walls (because my pictures are in boxes.)

16) When I turn my head right: Boxes full of my belongings.

17) You know when I'm lying when: I stop short... I am pretty honest, if I stop short of saying something it's because I'm thinking of a nicer way to say it... (as close as I get to lying)

18) Everyday I think about: how nice it would be if I didn't ever have to worry about money.

19) If I were a character written by Shakespear I'd be: a tempestuous sprite... I'm not sexual enough to be a leading lady. (That ol' Billy was big on very sexual leading ladies)

20) By this time next year: I'll be 23 and likely no closer to where I want to be in life.

21) A better name for me would be: ...I think my name fits. If I gotta pick a new one, then Crap Bag. (Think "Friends" episode.)

22) I have a hard time understanding: people who are content in their own ignorance.

23) If I ever go back to school I'll: *WHEN I go back to school, I'll go to class more.

24) You know I like you when: I whisper smart-ass comments to you on the sly.

25) If I won an award the first person I'd thank is: My Mom, no question.