well-dressed foolish ideas

There are well-dressed foolish ideas, just as there are well-dressed fools.
- Sebastien Chamfort

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Thursday, September 07, 2006

Lead me on

Round about two years back, I bought a harness lead for my kitten. At the time she was about the size of my palm or so, so she didn't really take to wearing an humongous harness around her shoulders. Gnashing of her teeth, biting of my knuckles, and clawing of my hands ensued. It only took about thirty minutes to get the thing on for the first time, and it took about thirty seconds for her to revert to her natural feline escape artist tendencies. Admitting defeat, I hung the lead on a tack on a wall, vowing that I would wear protective gloves and a face mask the next time I had the audacity to attempt to harness that kitten. And it has hung, ashamedly, on that tack since that memorable day.

Today. Yes, today was the day the lead was ready to come off the wall. I donned my soothing, ever-so-sweet voice and a big bulky sweatshirt that is my bestest kitten-claw-protection. Purring and sweetness was oozing out of her while I held her cautiously, belly side up, in my arm and that blasted harness in my other hand. She caught one look of that which should not be used ever again (EVER) and then promptly swatted me in the face! Yet, I wrangled the thing on her. Twice, actually after she ever so slyly managed to fall not gracefully to the floor. I scooped her back up, and I fitted it to her shoulders so it can't possibly be easily escape artisted out of, and that, well that was about two hours ago. The lead is now just trailing around behind her, freaking her out with every step forward. It also tastes nice, or so I presume so, as she's been licking it every now and then while throwing a dirty look my way.