Vietnam vets apologise to lost mates' families. Broadcast: 18/08/2006. Reporter: Simon Royal. Today Vietnam veterans across the country gathered to mark the 40th anniversary of the Battle of Long Tan. Side by side with some of those vets were the families of lost Diggers who were taking part in an extraordinary program of reconciliation.

Veterans from South Australia's 9th RAR have sought them out to apologise for losing their loved ones and to help work through the grief that's now decades old. Simon Royal has more.

SIMON ROYAL: Warren Featherby fought in the Vietnam War. Michelle Matthews and Jacqui Admasyck are the daughters of one of his lost comrades. Together they've come to St Peters Cathedral to commemorate the 40th anniversary of the Battle of Long Tan. WARREN FEATHERBY, PRESIDENT, 9TH RAR ASSOC: Pretty nervous, to be honest. It's a day of pretty much mixed emotions for us, very much so. SIMON ROYAL: For Australia, the four-hour long Battle of Long Tan was the single most bloody episode of the Vietnam War.

Just over 100 Australians faced two-and-a-half thousand enemy soldiers. Eighteen Australian soldiers from the 6th RAR died, and in the morning 245 dead Viet Cong were counted, many more had been carried away.

ALAN FRASER, SA LONG TAN VETERAN: It's the most significant battle we had in Vietnam and certainly the most decisive in the sense that we had a result out of it. These are general issue medals that everybody that sort of serves in the army. SIMON ROYAL: Salisbury resident, Alan Fraser, fought at Long Tan.

Indeed, when he retired five years ago, he was the last veteran of the battle left serving in the army. ALAN FRASER: If we'd have lost heavily, if we'd have all gone, which easily could have happened, it was a knife edge sort of thing, if that had happened, then obviously there would have been a hell of a - what do you call it? -outcry back here. SIMON ROYAL: Australia might have exited earlier. ALAN FRASER: Absolutely. I think it would have changed the course of history.

SIMON ROYAL: While Warren Featherby was paying his respects to the heroes of Long Tan today, he wasn't at that battle. He was a member of the South Australian raised 9th RAR, and he brought along Michelle Matthews and Jacqui Admasyck as part of a unique quest to reconcile Vietnam veterans with the families of lost men.

WARREN FEATHERBY, PRESIDENT, 9TH RAR ASSOC: I think it was long overdue that we forgot about Anzac Day for a moment and Remembrance Day and recognised these people individually. We won't stand there in the dark on a dawn service on Anzac Day, we don't face our fears and we don't face the families. SIMON ROYAL: This year Warren Featherby and the other veterans of the 9th RAR have set out to face the families of the men who didn't come home. They've searched for the children and the spouses of their lost mates, people like Michelle Matthews, whose father, Bruno Admasyck was just 23 when he died. WARREN FEATHERBY: We're so sorry because we didn't bring her dad home. But despite our best efforts, and it was our best efforts, we didn't bring her dad home.

FILE FOOTAGE: But we're here because we want to honour Bruno. SIMON ROYAL: Ten men of the 9th RAR are buried in South Australia and this year each and every one has been individually honoured on the anniversary of their death. Last month was Bruno Admasyck's turn.

Michelle Matthews was just one year old when her father died. More than commemorate him, she says the ceremony brought him alive. MICHELLE MATTHEWS, 9TH RAR VETERAN'S DAUGHTER: I wish that I'd known him. I'd give anything to know him. I did get told a little bit from my grandmother and grandfather but, him being their only child, they put him up on that pedestal so it's hard to get the real Bruno. It was always how they saw him and of course because he was killed at such a young age, they idolised him.

You didn't get the real person which I've now found a lot out about him which is good. WARREN FEATHERBY: It's about giving him a life. It's about giving him a character. Some of these kids have no earthly idea of whether their dad smoked, whether he drank. They don't know whether he was enjoyed a joke. They just don't know what sort of bloke he really was. SIMON ROYAL: Now Bruno Admasyck's children know he was, to the great irritation of his mates, an inveterate practical joker.

But it hasn't been without cost for both families and veterans. WARREN FEATHERBY: It takes courage on behalf of the families to do this. It also takes courage for some of these soldiers. Some families have asked these soldiers directly what might have been the last words that their boy had said. The families are going to ask these ex-soldiers did their boy suffer. Now, our diggers have got to face a few demons to answer those questions.

SIMON ROYAL: Have you been asked those sorts of questions. WARREN FEATHERBY: Yeah. Absolutely. SIMON ROYAL: And there are many demons for the 9th RAR to face. Any big battle, like Long Tan or Gallipoli, will always, quite rightly, capture the headlines. But the 9th RAR was based in South Australia and its less publicly known losses still hurt. WARREN FEATHERBY: It's not the easiest thing to discuss and probably not the proper thing to discuss but, yes, we lost 35 guys in Vietnam in our tour and, yes, that probably was considerably more than what other battalions lost.

SIMON ROYAL: As far as the RSL can tell, South Australia is the only place to have held individual commemorations. Veterans say the emotion of it all means it may not be for everyone. For Michelle Matthews though it's been irreplaceable. She now knows her dad and his mates from the 9th RAR. MICHELLE MATTHEWS: It's like a big family. It's like the family I never had. I wish I'd found this out 37 years ago.

It's like I have missed out by not knowing them, because they're a great bunch of people. IAN HENSCHKE: If you'd like to know more about that program then contact the RSL.