You enter the forest and doesn't afraid of anything. You notice some bright skylights peeking through the treetops and neatly lines shrubbery and bushes. You come across an old man with a robe and walking cane. You think to yourself, "Would I be stereotyping him if I thought he was a some sort of sage or wizard?" and keep to yourself.

1) Approach the old man. (Custom dialogue)2) Continue on your merry way.3) Attack the old man.4) Set up a camp. Punch into a tree with your fists of fury. Create a crafting table. Gather wood planks. Create Wooden Pickaxe. Proceed Minecraft.

"Hello. I couldn't help but notice that you're wandering around here too. I don't mean to be nosy or sound rude, but what's your purpose here? I'm searching for the supposed treasure, but, uh..... I'm not sure exactly where I'm supposed to go or what to look for. My name's Desmond, by the way."

Old Merlin-esque Man: "Hm? Oh greetings, young Desmond. I am Liam Triiton III, the wandering druid of the highlands! I am simply here for my daily blessings. Indeed there is a wish-granted treasure as all the rumors fortell, but I dare not touch it for wishes often backfire. I am very often approached by unicorns and collect some of their magical radiance for medicinal purposes and whatnot."

1) "But... don't unicorns only approach virgins?"2) "Can you offer me any magical wisdom?"3) "Have you always wanted to be a druid?"4) "Can I offer any assistance to anything you might need?"5) (Custom Dialogue)

"Nice to meet you, Liam. And you do make a good point. If you'd be so kind, is there any magical wisdom you'd be willing to share? I typically like to be fully prepared before taking potentially dangerous action."

Liam: "If you wanted to avoid any dangerous action, why'd ya come here in the first place? Bahahahahahaha! I only jest, sir Desmond. This forest likes to play tricks you see, you may hear your own conscience, but be warned it is merely an act of sorcery that speaks to your mind. And when you reach my age... learn not to give advice! Bahahahahahahahahahaha!"

1) "I think I'll be going now, much things to explore, people to meet, adventure surely invigorates the spirit! And some other cliché homosexually optimistic phrase. "2) "Who can I even trust, if not the voice that sounds like my own?"3) "This forest will be your grave, old man."4) "Where's the exit? I'd like to go back the way I came. I'm done here."

You leave the jolly old druid to whatever the hell it was he was doing before you arrived and stop across a bridge. Seeing as it's the most obvious pathway to take, you proceed to cross it hoping there will be no trolls to stop yo-

Troll: "Problem?"Oh shit. Spoke to soon.

1) "BEGONE YE TROLL. I SHALL PASS."2) "Let me guess, you won't let me cross without doing some sort of tedious and uninspiring quest?"3) Engage combat with the troll... although that club he's got with him looks pretty spiked and nasty.4) Seek Liam's help.

Troll: "Le yes. You must go retrieve le blue stick of no particular importance from le Dennis the Maceman. Umadbro?"

Desmond: "...This is starting to sound like some shitty generic RPG."Narrator: "I assure you it's nothing of the sort. Especially once the others are finished with their dream sequences."Desmond: "Who said that?!"Miose: "Breaking the fourth wall is strictly forbidden. Should that happen again, you will be relieved of your duties."Narrator: "Ahhhh hell.... there goes my comission..."Desmond: "...No more espresso for me."

With the feet of Hermes, I dash across the troll as he looks in hopes of finding a new target to make an hero. By the time he sees me again, I'm already too far gone. I look back only once, making the best imitation of trollface that I can, saying

Sorry for the wait, been busy, etc, etc. But as we progress through this, waiting is one of the things you'll have to get used to.You cross into the deceptively peaceful looking meadow. Did I say 'deceptively'? Forget I mentioned it. You see a woman sitting at a tree striking a wooden instrument in a monotonous tone, over and over. She seems to be pretty oblivious to your presence.

1) Speak to her. (Insert dialogue)2) Ignore her and continue on the path.3) Stop and smell the roses.4) Go back and venture into the cave instead.

1) Smile and walk away.2) "What's this? A young girl in distress?! This shall not stand! I, Desmond the Amazing shall venture into the unknown to search for your daughter, madam! Super Teen.... AWAAAAAAAAAAY!"3) Cause a fourth wall crisis.4) Go back and venture into the menacing cave.

You run along the path with all your mighty might and your speedy speed and heroically stop at the end of the trail. You gaze upon an old hermitage isolated in the meadow by several tall trees, and think to yourself. "...This must be the longest dream I've ever had."

1) You've come this far, might as well go into the hermitage.2) There aren't really any other options, you probably have to go in at this point.3) Seriously, I'm not really giving you any other choice, this will be the final endpoint.4) Are you actually looking for another option? Don't kid yourself. Go into the damn house.

Wow really? You picked THAT choice? Oh come on, you had three other options and you had to pick THAT. You had practically every other alternative in the world and you had to pick that. Honestly, I'm disappointed. Sigh... oh well. You enter the hermitage by kicking down the door Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six style and ready yourself for anything. You're in a small living room, not much in here except a couch, an old record player, a small journal, and a shotgun on the mantle.

1) Read the journal2) Play the record player3) Grab the shotgun4) Nap on the couch5) Go into the dining room6) Go upstairs

"We finally made it away from that crazy cult. That 'curse' is still out there though; I can sense it. My family moved into this hermitage away from prying eyes, away from the public. Nobody would believe us if we told them what happened... and we don't know how many people are a part of this. So for the rest of our lives my wife, my only daughter, and I will live off the land here. It's the best option we have,"

1) Keep reading2) Play the record player3) Grab the shotgun4) Nap on the couch5) Go into the dining room6) Go upstairs