This morning I had the pleasure of casting a line with some good friends in the presence of a beautiful sunrise on a pristine NW river. With nary a metal head or golden bone in sight it was still a glorious start to the day.

However this discourse is less about fishing and more about giving back. Let me explain. Upon stowing the rods and preparing to leave I spotted a perfectly good pair of Simms wading boots out of the corner of my eye...right there in the road. Being a man of simple means I hardly see the need for me to lavish another pair on myself even though they look to be only moderately worn and approximately my size (10 or so). Consequently I decided to put them up on e-Bay. But before I do that I'd like to offer them up to the readers here in the forum first. Here's the deal:

I'll run a simple thread based auction here for one day. Possibly longer if the bidding gets good and it looks like I can make a haul.

Bid shall be made in US currency OR appropriate fly fishing related equipment including but not limited to the following:

Sweet deal! Sometimes the good lord just leaves things to be found. Here's hoping you get some return out of your investment. Simms is pretty prestigious tackle so not to be a snob but I think I might have to bid on them.

Could you stretch those out to a twelve? I just got a new set of silver naked lady flaps so I don't think I will part with those. How about I open the bidding with some good old fashioned but still highly useful red and white bobbers.

Way to step up Kevin. To tell you the truth bobbers sometimes get hung up on the line as they don't turn over all that well. At the same time they are about the only thing that will hold up a flyline when dredging for kings with a couple ounces of lead. You may be in business!

It looks like Tip has raised the bar. I don't think I can compete with the undisputed king of the goldenbone but here it goes. 1 Elvis wig, 2 red and white bobbers and 1 half empty or half full airport bottle of Dalwhinnie.

How about a couple of Tips secret golden bone files tied with 1\4 inch lead and a mustad treble hook, some beaver repelent for those early morning walks, and a link to the latest escaped inmate information.

I made me some special fly tyin’ lures that I could part with. They is buzz bombs I soak in super glue from Wall Mart, then I rolls ‘em around in feathers and other scraps from fly tyin’. I don’t make ‘em too often cuz it takes so long fer the feathers and hair to come off my fingers. Got it down to an art form where I only use one hand to roll ‘em around, but then it looks like I’m wearin’ a multicolored glove on one hand. Kinda like Michael Jackson. When I meet folk, I hafta put that hand in my pocket and shake with the other for about a week.

Also, I got lucky and found me some road kill this morning. Most of them maggots squirted out when I ran over it so it’s pert near clean. I best get it to ya quick tho’. The dog looks like he is going to commence to struggling with me for a taste of that possum.

Wow Mr. Leech, it appears that you have some decisions to make. I am fresh out of Apple Brandy I am afraid. I would be willing to throw in a rough cut of my video I was working on before I dropped the project.

Before I do, have these boots been treated well? I don't want to lay out a small fortune only to find that they were used in commission of a crime or to chase young girls or anything like that. How would you describe how they smelled?

After searching behind the seat of the broken down 73 Chevy pickup abandoned in the backyard I managed to find a few items to trade. A half empty bottle of MD20/20 found at C-Post in 1987. A very good year I might add. A 10 WT Type 6 sink tip with cracked coating dredged from Faber’s Landing. And finally a 3 inch strike indicator pilfered from a jigflybobberman at Fortson last summer.

Ok, ok, ok, they are my wading boots, I confess I left them there, right on the road by the truck. Bunny leech I don't owe you anything after letting you fish with sinktip and me. Heck the philosophic discussion on why Sharpie out fishes all of us combined was worth just giving them back for free. Where else can you get at 4:10 in the morning the Tip singing like Neil Young with a Donna Summers disco beat, " Bend over and low hole me". Where I ask. I think we were pretty good to you seeing you have not showed up once in 18 months to fish with us at the jungle. Sinktip got you in safe to the river in the dark and I fed you full good words about how escaped prisioners with their flytying feathers of jungle cock are not interested in your very vocal personal fears.

Truth be known I left the boots there on purpose and you know why? Remember on the way back to the trucks and we were walking down the side channel and sinktip went over to investigate those fresh barefoot prints in the sand? Well right then I got a real strong feeling someone had their eye on you in a real serious kind of way. At first I thought it was Charlie again as he seemed everywhere just like in 72. I was really worried by then about all the aftershave lotion you had on just to go fishing and now I was worried about your well being out here in the jungle. Just after we entered the 6 foot tall grass and sinktip climbed over and slid down the otherside of that poached Asian Elephant with with missing tusks did I realize what kind of trouble you were in. Me and sinktip eyed each other with a nervous glance so you would not freak out. But we now both knew it was not charlie who left those bare foot prints in the sand or killed the elephant but SEAN! Do you realize how much trouble you were in? At first I was sure that Leland might be there too but then I realized they did not work together and hell Leland don't get up till at least 9:30 anyway. When we made it safely back to the trucks and my window was open yet my door was locked then I knew Sean had been tracking you from before first light. I had to do something extrordinary for your future safety so I left my boots for Sean. You know the natives can't resist wearing western dresses and wading shoes, I suggest you leave that beautiful long blonde wig of yours there next time you go if you want to be safe.

So give me back the boots or bring them back to the river where Sean is as busy as a beaver setting pungi sticks and carving chunks of raw elephant meat with a stick for dinner for him and leland. What did Sinktip and I ever do to you!

It was good to see you again and fish with you but please next time leave your fears at home and when you see a gate open leave it open, know what I mean!