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If you haven’t heard, Taco Bell rolled out a line of breakfast food this week to compete with the other early-rising fast food chains. Certainly, they’re not competing with any actual restaurants.

If they were, then a guy like John McLaughlin of Pembroke Pines, who ventured into a South Florida Taco Bell to try this monstrosity, wouldn’t have had that terminal look on his face that said “I just ate a waffle taco at Taco Bell.” His poor wife, Loretta, just shook her head.

“Inedible,” he said. “I mean, we ate it. But we’re going to pay for it later.”

The Waffle Taco looks exactly like what your pot-smoking college roommate would make for breakfast: A microwaved Eggo waffle lookalike bent in half and stuffed with continental-breakfast eggs and either sausage or bacon. It leaves a slick sheen on your fingers, and I leave it to you to decide what it does to your insides.

The breakfast steak Crunchwrap is only marginally better because you can’t see what’s inside until you bite in. It’s a ninja star of some cut of beef, crunchy hash brown and those spongy eggs. It’s dressed with that cilantro-lime marinade Taco Bell puts on all its food to mercifully mask the flavor.

I did not finish them. They did, however, finish me.

The people at Yum! Brands (who own Taco Bell) should be ashamed. But they won’t be because there’s money to be made. These decisions are made by soulless men in black suits not artisans in white chef’s coats.

Someone should have put an end to trading mortgage-backed securities. And that same someone should put an end to this.