"My
fellow Americans... the events two days ago at Red Lake High School in Red Lake
Minnesota are indeed a tragedy for us all to bear. My heart goes out to both the
victims and the survivors.

Oftentimes in a tragedy of this
magnitude, we are left only with our faith in a divine order to all things, and
many questions for which there are no good answers."

"It is at times like these that I am
forced to bend a knee in prayer, and on this occasion, I can say that God has
truly spoken to me.

There are many among us who would seek
to ridicule me for this, but to them I say simply... hear me out.

The sixteen year old boy who is
presumably responsible for this tragedy returned to the High School from which
he dropped out... God has told me that he is not happy with No Child Left
Behind.

His Grandparents, who were trying to
raise him were still working to try to make ends meet because they had no
retirement... God has told me that he is not happy with Social Security
privatization.

The boy's parents, victims of suicide
and head trauma were not able to raise him... God has told me that he is not
happy with health care in America.

The boy never saw a ray of hope of
betterment in life while living in the poverty of a reservation...God has told
me that he is not happy with racism and greed.

The only solution this poor boy saw
was to take up a gun and kill... God has told me that he is not happy with fear
and War.

In the coming weeks you can expect
drastic changes in America, for the good of us all. For those of you whom I once
considered my enemies, hear me now, I am ready to admit my mistakes and I will
welcome your thoughts and suggestions as to how we can together answer God's
call. For tonight, remember your children, talk to them, love them, and give
them a hug. Goodnight, and may we someday find God's blessings again."

(What the hell, HE
hasn't said anything yet, so I thought I'd say it for him... a guy can dream
can't he? )

03/25/05 Bush Addresses Grieving Red Lake Families

(APE) George Bush speaking at Chippewa
tribe Council Hall

Bush Addresses Grieving Red Lake Families

By An Geredone

03/25/05 RED LAKE, MN (APE) - In a surprise pre-dawn move
early this morning, the President flew onboard Air Force One to the
Minneapolis St Paul International Airport. From there he journeyed by
motorcade to the sleepy town of Red Lake, home of America's most recent mass
killing, the worst of it's kind since Columbine, in April of 1999.

After arriving there, he participated in a smoke ceremony
with the local Chippewa elders in remembrance of the victims.

"As many of you may already be aware," said Mr. Bush, "I
spoke yesterday about how this tragedy has affected me personally. Seeing the
faces here, of our Native American Brethren, I become aware of the work that
is yet to be done. The youths of the Chippewa Nation, and for that matter, all
of our youths must never face such a horrible fate again. Indeed, our beliefs
in God, Allah, or Buddha… whatever you may choose to call our creator, must
sustain us during these times of pain.”

“I invite all Americans to participate in my epiphany,”
stated the President, “and this I will pledge to you on this Good Friday…
there will be no more fear. No more fear of our families living and dying in
pain, poverty, and destitution. No more fear that we will not be able to
afford even adequate healthcare. No more fear that you or your family won’t
know where your next meal might be coming from. No more fear that there will
be nothing left for your old age or retirement. And finally, no more fear that
a hand gun or assault rifle might be turned upon us in a fit of deadly anger
or rage.”

“All of these things, God has told me, were weighing
heavily, in the young mind of Jeff Weise, on that fateful day, three days
ago”, said Mr. Bush.

The President went on later to explain, “For those in our
government, who would seek to take advantage of the good faith of Native
Americans and further reduce them to poverty, through bribery and kickbacks, I
say to you, justice is on the way, with no delay. I have authorized Attorney
General Alberto Gonzales to use extreme measures to render the hammer, if you
will, and bring it to the anvil of justice that this administration so
desperately clings to. He will also be meeting with Charleton Heston, the
president of the National Rifle Association to come up with feasible measures
for gun control in this country, to assure us all that the Red Lake tragedy
will never occur again.”

Mr. Bush concluded, “I urge all Americans to anticipate
the Easter Miracles yet to arrive over the coming months, as universal
healthcare, respect for death with dignity, fortification of Social Security,
and a true and expeditious timetable for the withdrawal of our brave sons and
daughters from Iraq becomes a reality.”

Karl Rove, Mr. Bush’s Deputy Chief of Staff was noted to
be wiping tears from his eyes during certain passages of the President’s
speech, but made no public comment.