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I met you about 15 years ago. You were surly, weird (artistic and talented, but weird), hairy and non-fashionable, always late, uncompromising, idealistic.... You were also generally cool, steady, funny, smart and no matter how much you despised our girly drama, you were our friend. I like to think you even acted as a sort of big brother to me.

I only really knew that part of you. Talking to your wife at your wake, I couldn't help but find it both sad and beautiful that in you was a loving husband and father as well, one I really didn't get to see/meet since we've all generally lost touch. It would have been nice to see how fatherhood could have tempered your tongue and mellowed your stare. It would have been nice trading parenting tricks with you. It would have been nice to have stopped being a 'younger sis' to you and be equals for once (after all, I now have two kids!).

When I heard the news that you passed away already... I was really torn between being sad for your family who has to go on without you, and relieved for you because your pains have come to an end.

A song that you wrote and that we used to sing all those days ago when we were active in peer counseling keeps playing in my mind.

I wasn't much of a friend to you in your last days... but maybe, this song will remind me to be a friend to your wife and son from hereon. I told hubs that someday, I will buy your son his own guitar... because I would want him to continue your legacy of music, poetry and art.

You were surly, weird and not fashionable. But your wife is right... you were a good man. People will always remember you as one... and I am grateful that I have had the privilege of knowing you, learning from you, being touched by your life.