Listening to everyone talk about friends flocking to internet and speed dating makes me a cynic. Perhaps it’s because, I’m still living in the past. Living for the days of sitting on the train and attracting the eye of a cutey who squeezes his way through a packed subway car to find and talk to me. That’s what I like. Romance by chance. Not to say that slipping on stilettos, a slinky dress, and leaving the hat at home isn’t a technique to attract glances. It is. I just don’t believe in looking, preferring to put my money on waiting. Waiting on the energy you put out saying you’re ready for a relationship. Waiting on the powers that be to manifest wishes blown into the air during a daily walk of faith.

Maybe I watch too much CNN – seeing stories about the Craig’s List serial killer. Maybe I’m too dramatic, making up horror scenes in my head about the guy who sends witty, romantic emails by day. And at night he’s a Hannibal Lecter groupie wanting to eat female skin with a side of Fava beans.

We know speeding through a meal is bad for your health. But speeding through dating is just plain careless. I mean, I can have a conversation with anyone – from the drunken crack head holding up the bus stop to the egotistical Wall Street broker. But a five minute quick convo doesn’t give me comfort in assuring a great date or potential partner.

Call me a romantic. I just believe that finding the one is about the vibe you put out and timing. You attract what you are and who you subconsciously expect. Everything happens for a reason. And if you have faith, get your life right, and patiently put the confident, positive energy out into the universe that says, “I’m ready to meet someone.” You will. It’s just a matter of time. No internet site or bar lounge speed dating gimmick can have power over that.

Today is the beginning of yet another period of Mercury Retrograde – A time when technology is more likely to break, miscommunication runs rampant, and people from the past are prone to come back into your life. Feeling its effects last night, I’ve spent the entire day working to “fix” the drama this retrograde always seems to cause me. For example, last night I found out my car loan company “mistakenly” took two car payments out my bank account. Two. I drive a luxury vehicle. You do the math. Now listen carefully for the echo of my scream in the distance. Can you hear it? My day has been spent on the phone with this finance company demanding an immediate refund. They’ve apologized nicely and profusely. But I still won’t get my money back for at least a week. And I needed it yesterday. Damn you, retrograde.

Later today, I’ll be heading to the local Verizon store because my phone battery keeps dying. I juice it up, take a call, and 15 minutes later, the battery strength is in the red, and I’m sounding like The King’s Speech stuttering, “Uh…my battery is about to die. So, if I lose you…” My blackberry killed two important talks yesterday. I ended up having to rush into a sidewalk cafe to juice up my phone and finish the calls. Can you hear me yelling? Or was that a muffled, exasperated cuss word or two?

Looking at the calendar and realizing today is just day one of three weeks of mercury retrograde that won’t end until April 23, I’m shook. 21 days of foolishness. 504 hours of impending miscommunication, technical mishaps, and fools from the past trying to get some attention to make room in my life. Let us pray…

To see a popular blog post I wrote on my most memorable retrograde experience, go to “Shuttin Down Hot 97” here on “The Raq Chronicles.” Written in May 2010, it breaks down the day I took NY’s most popular radio station off the air. A true, yet embarrassing story. Damn you, retrograde. Damn you.