Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Reynolds to star in the Tim Burton-produced Big Eyes

The Tim Burton-produced biopic Big Eyes—one of the director’s two previously reported reunions with Ed Wood writers Scott Alexander and Larry Karaszewski—now has the very un-Tim Burton duo of Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Reynolds attached to play the lead roles of Margaret and Walter Keane.For those unfamiliar with the Keanes, they enjoyed overwhelming popularity in the ’50s and ’60s, when Americans sought comfort from the rapidly changing world outside by diving headlong into the huge saucer eyes of the innocent children that adorned their wood-paneled living rooms. But that innocence was soon sullied by a nasty divorce that briefly shook the kitsch art world (breaking hundreds of clown figurines in the process), when it was revealed that Walter had been taking the credit for Margaret’s work all along. Alexander and Karaszewski plan to start filming Big Eyes this spring, meaning it won’t be long before Witherspoon and Reynolds begin suffering through various jokes about their own unusually oversized facial features. Not that we would ever stoop for such low-hanging fruit, preferring instead to toss it to the rabble from up here on our high horse, all while making smugly superior tsk-ing sounds. Tskkkkkkk.