“R&B Divas” recap (3.4): Suck it up and take a dump

Last week on R&B Divas, we were immersed in Wyatt family drama, and got introduced to Angie’s daughter Diamond. In fact, Diamond’s introduction to the divas at their first rehearsal for their One Night Only concert threatened to derail the whole musical train. This week, we witness Monifah’s liposuction surgery, and spend a lot more time with new divas Meelah and LaTavia. We even watch them take a dump–which is a lot less but gross but a lot more emotional than you would expect! (Just wait for it, okay?)

But back to Diamond. We left off last week with Keke standing up to leave after Angie’s daughter interrupts their meeting, but alas! They was just playin’ us. Keke was frustrated that they weren’t getting more done, yes, but she deals with it like a grown ass woman this time. Instead of walking away, she just decides to get this party started. Tired of talking, she gets on the drums and starts jamming. And man oh man, do I love Keke Wyatt on the drums. The musical direction of this season already feels a lot more positive than Season Two.

There’s also some icky stuff happening in this episode, but it in fact doesn’t have to do with taking a dump. It has to do with Mo’s desire to have a skimpy waist for her wedding. As she preps Terez at home about the recovery process from her liposuction–buying pads and a plastic covering for the bed to deal with post-surgery leaking, ewwww–Terez is clearly as uncomfortable as we all are. Monifah accounts this worrying to Terez’s being a Libra. Hahaha. Lesbians.

“It’s no big deal, baby. I’m just going to be leaking gross fluids from cuts in my flesh.”

As they arrive at the clinic for lipo day, Monifah re-affirms how positive she feels about the whole thing. She couldn’t sleep the night before because she was so excited! She meditates. She’s present. Terez stands by in the observation room. She does not meditate. She is not excited. We are all Terez.

Mo doesn’t have to go completely under for the procedure, but is just put under a local anaesthetic, so that she’s in a “twilight.” And apparently twilight is freaking terrifying because as they twist and manipulate her stomach in ways that DO NOT LOOK NATURAL OH GOD MAKE IT STOP, Monifah begins loudly muttering things like “why why why why” and “oh lord oh lord oh lord.” Is this a horror movie? What is happening? Liposuction is scary and weird! I don’t like it, Sam I am! Although Terez’s anxious, distressed face in the next room is almost just as painful to bear.