Hi Paul
It looks like you were getting in just as I was getting out! Yes, I hope it doesn't take that long for you either. I can only say it does get better. I've never believed the old adage of "time heals" - it doesn't. It just gives distance from the events and an opportunity to look at things from a different perspective as your life changes. I found I was even polite to a couple of Jehovah Witnesses who came to my door last week and we had a respectful conversation even about their shunning rules - tho i had to contain myself on that one. Not long after I left we had a visit from them and I'm afraid they got a very angry smart aleccy I know all about your bloody cults and their crazy prophecies response. Probably why we haven't seen them for about 20 years!
Judging - yes, that took a while to get rid of. Its hard to get over the 'we are right they are wrong' mentality. However when the bloke who is preaching about perfection is in a long term affair with the 2ICs wife and has had affairs with several other women over the years - and the other so-called elders knew all about it and covered up other stuff as well - it isn't really hard to look at the gobbledegook that was passed off as teaching and decide it is a load of bollocks and how conned and foolish was I to believe it. I look at some other stuff people believe and things they get heated about and think ok you can think that but I don't and we can still be friends. I've spent a few years in classrooms and the 'don't major on the minors' when it comes to students' behaviours applies just as well in church and other situations as well.

Some really good points Wendy. We must learn to not get caught up on exactly what people choose to believe and instead let the fruit do the talking. Obviously we still need to 'give an answer for what we believe' (1 Pet 3:15) but also not get caught up on 'disputable matters' (1 Cor 14).

Of course the thing, in my era, that was so screwy was that whatever an elder/messenger wanted to say to you HAD to be accepted or else you were going to hell. The only way to heaven was to find out what the elders wanted of you (ie your 'naming') and do it. Everything else was dead works and was declarable as that or unworthiness. It makes me sick to think of that place.

Not just that robocop... anything you said, if according to their agenda, would be deemed as 'present truth'. However, if you (or I, or anyone among us for that matter) would speak ONE sentence contrary to their agenda... BLAM!!! 'Rebel', 'unsubmissive', 'opposed to the present truth of the Lampstand', 'hostile', 'falling to the delusions of the Antichrist'... these would be some of the many unbelievably wicked words they would heap onto you. You'd be a revered worker/deacon/elder and overnight you'd be Public Enemy No. 1 of the 'lampstand'. How wicked, cruel and ruthless these people are.