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More drama and I'm exhausted

I got a call at 1:05 this morning from my mother's neighbor. They were at the emergency room after mom called her. Mom was having major pain in her right side. Her blood pressure was also through the roof. I threw on clothes and flew out of here. They did a cat scan and told us she had cirrhosis but her gall bladder looked fine as well as her appendix. They gave her morphine and meds to lower her blood pressure and sent her home. She doesn't have a regular doctor as she is a royal pain in the neck to get her to take proper care of herself. I made her an appointment with my doctor this morning for 24 Oct. I tried to call her a couple times this morning but she didn't answer. She normally doesn't answer the phone but calls back when she darn well feels like it. So this afternoon I walked over to her house 2 blocks away. Her car was there, her house locked, tv on in the bedroom but no answer. I couldn't see anything through the windows. I called the police. They popped her door open and found her on the floor in the living room. She had fallen earlier this morning and couldn't get herself up. The medics were called and she was taken back to the hospital. She arrived there around 3 pm and I shortly thereafter. Husband left work early bless his heart so I waited for him to get home before heading to hospital. Several tests later, 4 bags of IV fluid later and morphine and they still don't know what is going on. They are admitting her tonight. Running more tests tomorrow. Possibly her gall bladder. Her white cells are elevated and there are some questionable spots on the head ct. I had not been asleep long last night when I got the call and didn't get home until 3:30 and didn't sleep much after that. I had a briefing this morning at 10 for a temp job I'll be working for 4 days. To say I'm exhausted is an understatement. Sitting under bad flourescent lights all afternoon and evening didn't help either. I'm off to bed shortly and with the help of 1/2 and Ambien, intend to sleep quite soundly. Tomorrow I'll go by her house and feed her pets then head to the hospital. Will keep you posted.

as of 4:16 MST 24 September Mom still in hospital. Last night her blood pressure was still insanely high and docs still couldn't figure out what is going on with her. One wants to take out gall bladder, other doesn't. She has gallstones for certain. Health not stabilized to operate for any reason. One says yes to cirrhosis, other says no. Tests, tests and more tests. She'll be in the hospital for at least tonight. Taking it day by day.

To add insult to injury, mom is what I call an "amateur hoarder", meaning she isn't like what you see on tv, but given a couple of years and she could be. She also had/has a turtle, a bearded dragon, 4 cockatiels, 1red head conure, 3 dogs and 3 cats. The reptiles have new homes waiting for them. One of the dogs is going to my daughter's to foster (blind pomeranian pup) a second dog is resting in peace due to health issues. The cats don't like anyone but my mom and hide and the birds are going to a bird rescue. She collects knick knacks and every single surface is covered in them. EVERY surface. It's all just too much. I can only handle being in her house for so long. Emotionally it is very draining to see it all. Physically it saps every bit of energy I don't have. I wear a face mask as the birds set off asthma that is normally dormant- unless I'm around birds. Go figure. They, hopefully will be gone soon. I've got to play hard ball with her. She can't take care of everything by herself. I can't do it all for her. Neither one of us can afford to hire someone to do it. It falls on me. My daughter say she'll help and I intend to her to it. As of right now, I don't even know if she'll ever be able to live on her own again. Worst case scenario, she'll have to go into a nursing home and if that happens, her spirit will be broken and she'll not last long. Best case scenario, she'll improve for a significant amount of time and will be able to live on her own for awhile (year? 5 years?) with MAJOR changes- she'll only have ONE dog. The cats she has really aren't nice to anyone, including her. I don't think it will be hard to talk her into relinquishing them to the shelter. I'm going to little by little, bit by bit, clean and purge. She really does have a lot of STUFF that doesn't fit into the criteria of useful, valuable or sentimental. Maybe I'm wrong, but bags of empty plastic jars are just taking up space. She buys knick knacks at the thrift shops and $ Store just because they are cute. They aren't cute when covered in dust and among several dozens of other "cute things".

I also have my own life to deal with. Lupus hasn't given me a break. Husband and my marriage is still as rocky as ever, I have my own house to take care of. I also have picked up a temp assignment this coming Friday for the day then again October 14 & 15. My finances being tight I'm busting it working on Christmas presents (hey when you make them you start before summer is even over). My new grandson and his parents are each getting recycled cashmere sweater blankets. Friends are getting wool knit scarves. They all require time and I stitch whenever I can. The fatigue is overwhelming. I'm desperate for a nap a couple hours after I've woken up in the morning. I go to bed and I'm comatose moments after laying down. I'm EXHAUSTED and no end in sight. I'm typing this and I should be knitting or cleaning or sewing or, or, or. I've been out of spoons for so long I've forgotten what they look like...

I know what you are going through must be very difficult. Have you looked into services for your mother? I don't know how old she is but if she is on medicare/medicaid they have people that will come out to the home and help with cleaning, washing and such.

Not sure if that is helpful or not but can't hurt to check into it

MariSuccess is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

This is uncharted territory for me. I will be researching services this week and find out what is all available to her and get as much assistance with whatever I can. I've been telling her for years to sign up for medicaid supplement and now I have the paperwork. Fortunately they will back it 90 days so this hospital stay will be covered. I'm going to look for aging services and learn a new language.

May I suggest that the first thing you do tomorrow is request that the hospital social worker and/or case manager be called in. Your mom sounds like an "at risk adult" and hopefully they can get her plugged in to services faster than you can. Make sure they know that you are ill yourself and cannot care for her. You do have a little power here because it looks really bad for the hospital to have discharged your mom and then have her return by ambulance less than 24 hours later. Medicare tracks stats on that because it is an indicator of the quality of care given. They may be able to get someone to come in and help her shower, dress, etc. I don't know about cleaning.

Ruziska, you can't do everything, and if you aren't careful you will be sharing a bed with your mom. You can be like the grandparents in Willy Wonka ;oD You are going to have to make sleep/rest a bigger priority than Christmas, or clearing out knick knacks. It sounds like there is a lot on your plate that must get done, but try to separate the "absolutely must do's" from everything else. I'm thinking about you, please take care.

Thank you Gizmo!!! I will do exactly that tomorrow. Like I said earlier, this is uncharted territory for me so I welcome any suggestions. It really was ridiculous: a 74 year old woman comes in at 11 at night complaining of severe lower right quadrant pain. Her blood pressure taken and by the time I arrived a couple hours later (it took that long for the neighbor to get my phone number), her blood pressure, even after have been given meds was 215/78! They gave her morphine for pain, did a cat scan and declared that they could find nothing wrong but oh yeah, she has cirrhosis. Got her blood pressure down to 137/74 and sent her home. Told her to get a regular doctor and buh bye. Less than 5 hours later, mom face plants and can't get up and is lying helpless until I go to her house 5 hours later. She couldn't get herself back up! Several tests later and flip flopping about her gall bladder, more tests tomorrow and still no idea what is going on. Saturday night her blood pressure at 9 pm was 208/79. She's had several doses of blood pressure meds, 7 bags of IV fluid because she was that dehydrated and still moderate yet not severe right side pain. Cat scans show a kidney stone, a "few" gall stones and she has an elevated white cell count. And what about those "questionable dark spots" on the cat scan of her head???? No mention of that lately. Tomorrow I will be asking a lot of questions. I will ask about a case manager as Gizmo suggested. Mom can't adequately advocate for herself so it looks like I'll be raising cain on her behalf.