Friday, February 20, 2015

To be or not to be

Jamie had spent ages googling romantic Shakespeare quotes
in preparation for one of the most important days of his life. Suzy was a drama
student. They’d been dating since high
school and they had become virtually inseparable. And so it was Jamie decided
it was time to ask for Suzy’s hand in marriage. He did the honourable thing and
sought permission from her father. He got his blessing. Everything was in place.

They were watching television at Suzy’s
student digs. Suddenly Jamie sunk onto
one knee and stared up into Suzy’s eyes.

“Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and more
temperate, sonnet 18” said Jamie.

“Oh, thanks”
said a somewhat bemused Suzy. She looked out of the window. “It’s raining; are
you saying I’m wet?”

Jamie
ignored her and carried on.

“I am your husband if you will marry me. If not, I’ll die your friend.
You may deny me, but I’ll be your servant whether you will or no, adapted from Tempest three one” said Jamie. Suzy’s
eyes nearly popped out!

“Are
you proposing to me?” asked Suzy.

“Well,
yea. Actually I am”

“Erm,
well, erm, I’m not sure” said a bewildered Suzy.

That was not the responce he'd expected. He put his hand in his pocket, partly pulled out a piece of paper, squinted at it
and put it back.

Jamie decided
to keep going. It was time for him to sing a verse he’d practiced from Suzy’s favourite songs, The Rose.

“If music be the food of love, play on, Tweflth Night one one” He cleared his throat.Just then an advertising
jingle for McDonalds blared from the TV. An exasperated expression spread
across Jamie’s face. He grabbed the remote and pressed mute. But the moment had
passed.

Forget the song, time for his next move.

"Then come kiss me,sweet and twenty,Twelfth Night two three” he said,
closing his eyes and puckering his lips.

“Excuse me!” shouted Suzy. “I’m nineteen not twenty!”

This was not going at all to plan. Next!

He reached round to the side of the
sofa and scrabbled about with his hand until he found the red rose he’d concealed.
He found it, clenched it in his teeth and looked into Suzy’s eyes. She burst
into a fit of giggles. He went to say something but realised it was impossible with a mouth full or rose so he removed it and
handed it to Suzy. She took it and wiped the wet stem on a cushion. He grinned
expectantly, surely this was the clincher.

Just as he was about to speak she sniffed it and pulled a face. “It
stinks!” she said “It’s not real!”

“It's a very realistic Hybrid
Tea rose actually” said Jamie.

“What’s in a name?" retorted Suzy "An artificial roseby any other name would still smell of plastic, Romeo and Juliet two two” said
Suzy.

Jamie realised that things were not
going the way he intended.

Time for another peak at the prompt sheet
in his pocket. He ran through his closing quote in his mind. He went to stand
but he’d been kneeling to long and he bent over with the pain from his knees.
He composed himself and then turned to leave.

“Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, Romeo and Juliet
two two” he said with a dejected look on his furrowed brow. He waited a moment expecting Suzy to tell him to stay, but she said nothing. So he turned and
walked towards the door.

“Stop” Suzy shouted.

“Kiss me Jamie, we shall be married as soon as
possible, adapted from Taming of the Shrew two seven”