In a recent survey, 9 out of 10 women agreed, I'm not attractive. The other woman was my mom. Enter Tefina, a new drug that may increase a woman's libido and which I will probably utilize to develop a new cologne that makes me irresistible to the ladies (and hopefully not wolves and bears).

A clinical trial is about to get underway in Australia, Canada, and other parts of the world to test a new female 'sex-drive' drug that could increase the libido of women suffering from "female orgasmic disorder." Called Tefina, it's a testosterone gel that is sprayed up the nose about an hour before a sexual encounter (how romantic). The developers say the drug could boost female sexual arousal and satisfaction.

"Female orgasmic disorder" -- is that even a real thing? Because I've never been with a woman who couldn't orgasm. Or one who could. Get it? I've never been with a woman. One time I tried to auction off my virginity and I only got a single bid from a guy who just wanted my butt. I had to break it to him that's not the virginal part. High-five! No? Nobody?

Thanks to Rita, who asked me if I've ever snorted Viagra before and I lied and said no.