Sunday, December 16, 2007

Intimacy

I was told recently that the best blogs are intensely personal, and that with those blogs, there is no effort apparent in the writing because the process is not self-edited or self conscious, it's an unchecked outpouring of one's secrets and true self. This was all a precursor to telling me that my blog does not elicit that voyeuristic thrill of peeping into a stranger's windows late at night.

With my new obsession with blogging, I've been doing my research, studying others' blogs, comparing and contrasting. And I see the point. I find myself drawn to blogs that seem to provide a direct line to a person's deepest secrets. But I also find myself drawn to those blogs that describe the trivialities of everyday life with sensitivity and humor and Good Writing.

(Of course, this person might have been trying to tell me that I am simply not a good writer, but... PSHAW!).

So these are the conclusions I have drawn regarding the level of intimacy shared in a blog, or at least, in MY blog:

1. If people are onions and occasionally (or often) "hide" beneath layers of humor, jokes, bluster, flirtation, or whatever... those outer layers are no less real and true than the more tender layers that sit below. We ARE our layers. Peel back all the layers of an onion and what's left is nothing but a strong smell and tears.

2. I have this belief that I can't shake: that great intimacy shared indiscriminately dilutes the intimacy deliberately shared with people specifically chosen to receive it.

I had a conversation with a priest once, who told me that he loved me, with all his heart. I was a bit taken aback by this. He went on to say that he loved EVERYONE with all his heart, that his love was universal. I understand the point he was making but my immediate reaction was to think that universal love for all, translates into meaningful love for none. Shouldn't love, of all things, be specific and highly discriminate?

"Love consists of overestimating the difference between one women and another."- George Bernard Shaw

3. I will continue to read and enjoy the blogs written by people far more courageous than I am. And I will continue to do what makes me happy with mine, and right now, that's to type again with all caps: TITILLATING.