One thing I’ve never understood is champagne in the locker room. It’s so sticky! And everything is going to be coated in it. And those brand new t-shirts and hats you just put on? Ruined.

What is it that Liz Taylor once said about champagne? Something like the only bad thing about drinking champagne all day is that it gives you bad breath? Yeah. And it’s sticky when poured all over one’s body. Just saying.