My 14 year old has a thousand dollar phone bill for one month...What is suitable punishment?

My 14 year old daughter's portion of the cell phone bill is 986.80 over her plan. I have suspended the services for the summer but I can't terminte them due to the contract. I have already decided that the phone will not be used for the whole summer. Now when school starts, I really need her to have a cell... show more My 14 year old daughter's portion of the cell phone bill is 986.80 over her plan. I have suspended the services for the summer but I can't terminte them due to the contract. I have already decided that the phone will not be used for the whole summer. Now when school starts, I really need her to have a cell phone. She goes to a magnet school and it is out of our district. She has to walk to the bus stop pretty early in the morning. She is also active in school and she needs to be able to contact me to let me know when she's leaving the school. She has to walk to the baby sitters house if I have to work late and can't pick her up after cheer practice or tennis or whatever. Other than that, what time do you is appropriate for a 15 year old( she turns 15 in Aug) to get off the phone for the night? Also, is summer vacation long enough to be on punishment for a phone bill that high?

Update: Thanks you for all of the advice. Yes, it has put a MAJOR strain on my budget. I have to work out a payment plan to keep my service on so please know I am majorly pissed. No I didn't just give her a phone and say enjoy. There was a major conversation about rules and responsibilities of that phone. And I was... show more Thanks you for all of the advice. Yes, it has put a MAJOR strain on my budget. I have to work out a payment plan to keep my service on so please know I am majorly pissed. No I didn't just give her a phone and say enjoy. There was a major conversation about rules and responsibilities of that phone. And I was monitoring her usage but obviously not enough. I am a single parent, her dad lives out of state so I depend on her and need her to have a phone. I also have a one year old (which is why she goes to the babysitter after practice if I am runnung late. They have to be off campus by a certain time). So I really need to have access to her at all times. And just a sidebar: my daughter does not usually give me any problems. She is a straight A student and involved in many activities in school and in our church. She is not a smart mouth at all and is a great help and asset to our family. But I am taking this very seriously b/c I cannot EVER have this happen again.

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Best Answer: Why does your 14/15 year old go to a babysitter? Is there not a city bus or something she can take home in a city large enough to have a magnet school? Wow. No wonder she lacks ability to be responsible for herself. I am thinking this is not all her fault. If she has younger siblings at the sitter and she basically stays and does her homework or watches TV until you get there then...okay.

However -- she chose to go so radically over her plan and other choices were available to her. And obviously this puts finances in a bind.

So...this summer she is on a bare bones privilege plan. If she has already signed up for camps or whatever she still gets to go to that. But she does not need extra money for the camp candy store or a sweatshirt.

Other than that she needs to babysit or mow lawns or do other odd tasks or teach old people to use the Internet or WHATEVER to earn the money back if she cannot get an actual gig at McDonalds or somewhere.

If it is impossible for her to find work because of her age then she can volunteer or intern somewhere and you will give her minimum wage credit for each volunteer hour. So...if minimum wage is $7.25 then she has to put in about 135 volunteer hours to pay it all back.

Unless she can use money to pay this back to the family budget...You do not buy her anything. She eats and she sleeps. No DVD rentals (not money for her and her friends. If you rent a DVD for the family to watch that is different).

No allowance. No spending $$$. You get everything she earns or is given as a gift. For her birthday explain to grandma and whomever that you will be taking any gifts of money to pay off her cell bill so if they intend for her to get a gift from them they might want to do a physical present or gift card. If she was already going on a trip this summer too bad. You give her the bare minimum so someone else does not have to feed your kid on the road but that is it. Get a new battery for her digicam if she has one and then she can have pictures for her souvenir. She does not need to shop on vacation.

This is not about whether you can afford to cover it or not -- she needs to put that money back in the family budget one way or another and if she does not suffer some anguish from this she will feel free to do it again because teenage girls are self-absorbed. Does not make them bad -- it is a developmental stage of growing into their own person. But if this is not met with serious consequences your life could get REALLY expensive REALLY fast.

If she has brothers and sisters and you have a weekly fun thing like going out for pizza and a movie on Friday night cut it off for a couple of weeks at least. ``Tara spent almost $1000 over her cell plan. Now we do not have that money to pay bills so we are going to have to cancel nights out for a while because we cannot afford it.`` So maybe the family does not see the blockbuster when it comes out. You can still have family time with frozen/homemade pizza and 2 liters of soda and a rented DVD. This is only an example of course.

She does not monopolize your phone to talk to her friends. She can IM on the computer if she gets computer privileges (that should be free) or she can ask for the privilege. No individual necessary phone call to make arrangements for something should take more than 10 minutes.

If she is unable to pay the cell bill by the time school starts then I understand you need her to have the cell phone at that time but...you do not shop at Hollister for her back to school clothes. You get her decent clothes that are not humiliating but not up-to-the-second fashion either IF she NEEDS to replace any thing from last year. She can get cute clothes at Steve and Barry`s for $8.99-$11.99.

After all the start of the school year does not mean all her existing clothes magically shred in the closet. If it fits and is in good repair she can wear it again. Same with school supplies. She needs pens and notebooks and pencils -- sure. But her old backpack and binder will probably still work? And it does not have to look cool -- it has to operate properly. Basic necessities -- that is what she is down to.

During the school year -- if she needs to pay school fees obviously -- and even cheerleading fees (if she made the squad then she has an obligation to follow through with the requirements of the squad etc.) Things like that you will pay for as her mother. However...she can pack a lunch from the groceries in the house or eat the basic lunch -- she does not need money from you for the cool buffet or whatever tasty alternative might be served at her school.

And you do not HAVE to buy a homecoming dress. She is only a sophomore --right? She can borrow a dress or find one at a second hand store or wear something she owns or not go.

Once school starts you can let up when you think you have saved $986 from what you are not buying her or spending on her. Maybe a summer bummer will be enough to keep her on the straight and narrow but I would extend it to a bummer beginning of school as well. Of course if she finds a way to EARN the money to pay you back then things go back to normal. If grandma or someone else she can manipulate gives or lends her the money then -- no. She has to save money to be able to pay it back.

It will be tough and she may wail that it`s not fair. That is her career in life right now at 15.

Source(s): I say you have to BE the brick wall. I pulled shit like this when I was her age and I was spoiled. My parents would berate me and say they were upset that I had done it but not having suffered any real consequences I felt free to do it again.

I work in the wireless industry and I used to work retail and I heard HORROR stories like this all the time! I know if my daughter did that I would probably take the phone away for a few months and only let her use it when she was out of the house AND I'd have her do chores and pay me back the FULL $1,000. Whatever it took ... she would have to pay it back. It'll show her the value of a dollar and to really maintain that type of restriction in the future if she knows that she will have to work to pay you back.

Honestly, I know that it's important for your kids to have a phone but I would suggest you talk to your cellphone provider and see if there is a way to restrict her calling. A lot of the cellphones come with an option to restrict the calling to the numbers that are in the phonebook so that way she can't call or receive calls from anyone outside of that phonebook and then you can lock it so that she can't change that feature. I know that LG handsets have that, the Motorola's do not. Also look at blocking text and web access. Those features are normally the culprits for the high phone bills with the younger crowd.

I would destroy the cell phone (right in front of her) and she wouldn't be allowed to have another until she got a job and bought it herself. In her name. Therefore, she would have to pay the thousand dollar phone bills.

That much money for a one month phone bill, is just absolutely ridiculous. She doesn't have a care in the world and she doesn't know the meaning of money. Sad.

I would also stay away from the contract phone companies. I don't know what you have where you live, but there is a company called "Cricket" here. It's prepaid and the phone bill automatically runs from 40 dollars to 70. each month. You have unlimited calls, text messaging, long distance (if you wish)..

But I would definitely get rid of her phone and not allow her another one until she pays for it herself. She'll soon learn the value of money real quick when she's the one stuck with a thousand dollar phone bill.

She better have a job babysitting or something else to pay that phone bill. She would be doing so much work around the house and for others to work off that bill. I understand that you work and can not be there all the time but maybe you need to try to have get some help with the after school stuff. She will have to earn the phone back and that includes building trust with you to use the phone for the reasons it was given to her.

Oh my, well no I don't think summer break is a long enough punishment. When school starts and she is home safe, she should turn over the phone to you for the rest of the evening. Give it to her again in the morning before she leaves for the bus. This young lady should be earning money to help with this huge bill that you've paid. She should know too that money isn't that easy to come by, some people struggle to raise a family on 1000.00 a month.

I say no phone all summer unless it's needed for a specific situation--and you are the judge of that. She works around the house or babysitting or dog walking or SOMETHING to make up that money to you. When school starts, she gets the phone on her way to school/babysitting and gives it back when she gets in the door. When you can cancel the service, do so and get one of the kind you pay as you go or the Firefly kind that she can only call certain numbers. She took advantage of your trust in her, so now she loses it. I think 10PM is the latest I'd allow a 15-year-old on the phone at night. Once she gets your trust back again, that is!

I am so not looking forward to my kids being teenagers...

Anonymous · 10 years ago

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I think you should be punished for letting her do so.
What the hell man, don't you set boundaries?

Does she pay per min/text?

You could have easily avoided this.

Make her share mins with the family, like everyone else does on a family plan.
Unlimited text is 10 dollars.
If you don't want her texting, then block it.
I you don't want her going over then spend an extra 6 dollars and get unlimited.

If she is going on the internet on her phone, then block it.

You let it get this bad, you should have grown a pair early on and set boundaries and enforced them. You have so many ways to prevent your child running up a high bill.

But you didn't. All you can do is not let this happen again.

You've already taken her cell phone, her life line.
Make her do extra chores.

But I doubt she ran up the bill on purpose, I doubt she knew all those things she was doing costed so much.
Like I said, I think you should be punished for not educating your daughter and setting limits and boundaries and enforcing them and checking her usage online.
Its your fault you let this happen.

My mothers rule was 9 to 8 no calls before 8 am and no calls after 9 at night.
Cancel her texting if you can and i would make her work around the home really hard since she is to young for a job. Make her do family laundry, dishes by hand, and i would limit her fun things this summer like movies and stuff with friends. 1,000 is unaccepteable completly . Also no internet for a month. I would of taken the phone away also.

wow! First, did you explain to her what features were covered when she got the phone? or did you just hand her a phone and say enjoy? That makes a huge difference. Both my teens have phones, but with unlimited texts, and free calling after 7 (which they are aware of). But if she DID know all the stipulations of phone use, i do believe the summer without a cell phone is good. Remember, shes 14- 3 months is like FOREVER! Just make sure u change the plan to accomadate her usage, or that she understands what she is or isn't allowed to do with the cell phone.

See if you can get her a phone on your contract with only preprogrammed numbers for her to call--your home, office, cell etc. Call your provider--must have them and switch the number to the new phone so it's still on the contract you have. That way she can call you and only you. Not her friends and not be texting all the time!!
Then you can bet if it was my child, she'd be working that money off. Either jobs outside the home for money or at home with me deducting money for what she does!!
And we were never allowed to talk on the phone past 10 when I was a teen. It will be the same for my kids! Take her phone away at 10 and give it back in the morning!