Not that it'll ever happen, especially considering that five Democrats on the Senate Judiciary Committee couldn't be bothered to show up for this morning's hearing on Russ Feingold's censure resolution (don't tell this guy).

Since it's April Fool's Day eve, I thought I would kick off a new series on audio hoaxes and urban legends, dedicated to those pieces of sound that get passed around as something they ain't. (Don't forget, radio people, the FCC's got a bona fide hoax policy!)

We kick off this series with the legendary (alleged) Linda McCartney soundboard tape. The jury is still out on this one. It is supposedly a tape of Linda McCartney's isolated microphone from the soundboard of a Wings concert. "Linda" the backup singer howls like a banshee through a version Hey Jude, all the way to the most discordant "na na na's" you've ever heard. I got this tape from drummer Samm Bennett about ten years ago, and started playing it on the air. Someone told me that it was a hoax created by a DJ in Boston, and at the end of this MP3, you can hear the DJ starting to talk. The person who declared this to be a hoax sounded authoritative on he subject, but I can't for the life of me recall any details about it. Doing a brief online search today, I found no indication of either the authenticity of the tape, or the lack thereof. If you have any info on it, pipe in! [download Linda MP3]

UPDATE: And speaking of Hey Jude and hoaxes, here's a breaking April Fool's Day hoax that Paul McCartney openly admits that he stole Hey Jude from a group called The Zephyrs who had submitted the song to Apple records on a demo. Link with audio

Dave the Spazz now brings us back to the golden age of Elvis-is-Alive-ism, from the early 1980's. When Major Bill Smith (of Hey Paul, Hey Paula fame) was making the radio rounds, peddling audio tapes which proved that Elvis could not be dead. To his credit, Major Bill Smith was not claiming that Elvis has risen from the dead, he was merely claiming that The King had never actually died in the first place. I mean, Smith wasn't crazy! These tapes are from 25 years ago, almost to the day. Part one has a fake session of "Elvis" re-recording Loving You, when he suddenly interrupts things to announce President Reagan's attempted assassination. Part two has a muddy recording of a fake Elvis explaining why he faked his own death - something about wanting to get in shape in Hawaii. [Download MP3s: Elvis Part One | Elvis Part Two]

A poor electronics repairman in India built himself a popular FM station for less than a dollar, turned it into a great resource for his rural community, only to find the station shut down by the government for lacking the necessary license fee. Raghav Mahato built his station for less than 50 rupees (one dollar), out of spare parts found in his electronics shop.

"I broadcast melodious Hindi songs, news, information about crimes in the region, programmes to create awareness on AIDS, on polio eradication and on literacy and agriculture," said Mahto in an interview with newkerala.com.

Listener Jason notified me about Raghav's plight, and since Jason speaks Hindi, we might have a shot at getting the address of Raghav's electronics shop where the station was housed. More info forthcoming, hopefully. Articles from the BBC here and here.

Boy toy. Sometimes little toys get stuck in people, sometimes little people get stuck in toys.

Kink aid.Thomas Kinkade,
self-proclaimed "Painter of Light" and creepy cottages, can add
Defrauder of Galleries, Harasser of Women, and Ritual Urinator in
Public to his trademarked title. To his credit, former employees in a successful
lawsuit against him say he disrupted a Siegfried and Roy show by repeatedly yelling the word "codpiece!" They also
say he peed on a model of Winnie the Pooh at a Disneyland hotel, saying
"This one's for you, Walt."

Science sex scandal! Darwinulids, asexual sea-monkeyesque creatures that hold the record for celibacy, may actually be getting some on the side. But it's also possible that the three recently discovered males may not serve any sexual function. This would make them merely an "evolutionary hangover," which is as good an explanation for males as any other.

Trimfit.Customized condoms will soon be for sale in Germany. "These condoms will fit so well you will hardly notice you are wearing one. We can make them wafer thin or fist thick and 'engrave' them with your signature wrapped around the base."

"That's not the sort of thing that belongs in a loaf of bread...We had to have our eggs without any toast that morning."

March 30, 2006

Speaking of The Beat Club (William Bergers post, below), here are The Monks going at it with their oversized maracas on German TV back in the mid Sixties. I saw this clip once before, at the WFMU Record Fair, but thanks to youtube, practically all rare music videos are merely a click away. [download video, 20 mb, mpeg file or stream it via youtube here]

The Music For Your Eyes site has been added to my weekly visit list of RapidShare download blogs, which also includes Garden of Delights, 8 Days In April and others. While the latter offer full-album mp3 downloads as .rar or .zip archives, Music For Your Eyes offers an impressive selection of "vintage rock music videos from a past glorious age." There's Punk, Post-Punk, Folk, Brit-Folk, Krautrock, Tropicalia, Psychedelia and lots more to warm a music lover's heart. (The path to downloading the actual clips is somewhat protracted, however, and if you're not paying for a RapidShare account, you're only permitted to download 1 "free" clip every 80 minutes or so.)

Much to my particular delight is the selection of clips by artists from the Canterbury school, some of which I've offered here:

Robert Wyatt is an artist that I especially admire, both for his outstanding musical career and for the supreme quality of his character. The Robert Wyatt biography, Wrong Movements (SAF 1999), is an inspirational read. In the first video clip, Wyatt is seen on Top of The Pops in 1974 performing "I'm A Believer"; he's assembled an all-star band, including Fred Frith, Nick Mason (who produced Wyatt's Rock Bottom album), Richard Sinclair and Andy Summers, for what is essentially a mime session. The latter clip is a BBC Four performance from 2003 of "Sea Song," originally from Rock Bottom. More clips from the BBC Four concert can be streamed on YouTube. [download mpg 1 31MB][download mpg 2 48MB]

March 29, 2006

I got a request on my show today for a strange little single I had completely forgotten about - Spin The Bottle by "Jimmy." Little is known about Jimmy, but he comes off like a cross between Daniel Johnston and Gary Wilson. On the record sleeve, Jimmy is sporting lipstick and a stocking on his head, an Izod shirt, and he's holding a tennis racket. The single indicates 45 rpm, but at that speed, Jimmy's voice sounds like a chipmunk. At 33 rpm, the single is too slow, but the slowness seems to fit Jimmy's lugubrious, demented delivery, so that's the speed that the FMU staff settled on back when this record was in heavy rotation. Jimmy's real name appears to be James Dean, the record label is Fatima Records, and he seems to be from Los Angeles. The sleeve of the single says "Demand The Album!" in tiny type, but these are the only two songs from Jimmy we've ever come across.

Due to overwhelming demand, the WFMU Cake-a-thon will continue next week, Wednesday April 5th 3-6pm EST on Kenny G's show. We still need about another hours or so worth of versions of Todd Colby's Cake (MP3). You can get the Script here. When you're done, email it to me at kg(at)wfmu(dot)org. Join the 160+ Listener MP3 versions already recorded of Colby's masterpiece!

Listener Tom from NJ sends in this clipping from the April 2006 issue of Cookie magazine. It's a nice little feature about wee Caleb Hickman's cool room, with its awesome climbing wall, fantastic firepole, and oh-so-lovely Freedom is Freeform poster!

March 28, 2006

Last April, we posted a version here of Johann Strauss' Blue Danube Waltz from a great 1980's Belgian experimental compilation called An Der Shonen Blauen Donau. The indifference of the masses was overwhelming, so without further ado, here's the whole damn compilation:

What follows are the lunch minutes for today, March 28th, 2006. This is only a bullet-pointed summary of
the lunch table conversation that ensued today at WFMU and reading it is not considered a suitable substitute for actually eating a lunch of your own.

Food: Brian had a "hoagie"-styled steak sandwich, wrapped in multiple layers of paper which were peeled back gradually, revealing the meaty goodness within. (See picture, right.) Scott, Liz, and I ordered takeout from a local Japanese place called "Nutty Handjob's II", but the delivery guy screwed up the order -- The beginning of a comical chain of events which eventually benefitted us in the form of an extra tray of sushi. This unexpected food was given to Bill, as he found it more enticing than the frozen dinner he'd begun to prepare. Ken ate lasagna, as usual.

Themes: Although many conversational avenues were explored today, the general topic of discussion was Heavy Metal culture, through which the following points were explored:

We've now got over 150 cover versions of Todd Colby's Cake (MP3s and full listing here). Thanks for the amazing works!!!! Submissions are now officially closed.

Don't forget: we'll be airing all of them today Wednesday March 28th, from 3-6pm EST on Kenny G's show. And Todd Colby himself will kick off the show with a phone interview & live performance of his masterwork at 3pm.

Just a few days following the latest FCC crackdown on indecency, some broadcast TV networks are already quaking in their boots. The WB unnecessarily censored an episode of "The Bedford Diaries" that contains scenes of a fictional college sex ed course. Against producer Barry Levinson's wishes, the network cut out a scene of two girls kissing, along with a scene of a girl unzipping her pants; neither clip contained any nudity or profanity. According to the FCC's definition of indecency, neither of these scenes crossed the line (which, by the way, is becoming increasingly blurry thanks to the countless inconsistencies in FCC indecency rulings). If TV networks are so afraid of being fined that they are going out of their way to cut material that is clearly within reason, why isn't anyone bothering to mention that nasty little caveat in the Constitution?

But perhaps we've spoken too soon. CBS was issued a total of $3.9 million in fines from the FCC during this last throwdown, and they don't plan to take it lying down. Sure, they've got the money to front for good lawyers and a long, grueling courtroom battle, but can they manage to fight the federal office that also has the power to approve mergers, power boosts, and the like? I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they stick to their guns.

KSCM, the community college TV station in California that aired "The Blues: Fathers and Sons" (a PBS documentary produced by Martin Scorsese), is planning to contest the $15,000 fine they were dealt by the FCC a few weeks ago, as well. But as we all know, $15k ain't chump change for a non-commercial station, and making trouble with the FCC might not put them in a good position when they apply for their next license renewal... Check? Balance?

March 27, 2006

Back in Iowa, when I was growing up, my Grammy Carlton used to recite a little nursery rhyme to me. It went: “The world is so full of a number of things, I’m sure we should all be as happy as kings.” And it’s true, it really is. One thing the world is full of is monkeys, and some of them are very old. George Bush—the monkey, not the president, although the president obviously has some simian qualities, but we are talking monkey here, as in little Capuchin helper-monkey, not ape as in “Ape shall not kill ape”—George Bush, the monkey, is 19 years old, and he belongs to Joe Bush, the organ grinder. It turns out that Organ Grinder is a very specific title, correctly applied only to those who have both a hand-cranked music machine called a street organ and a monkey. Organ Grinder Joe Bush is one of just four or five actual organ grinders in the whole country, and he will be at Coney Island on Sunday, April 9, along with his monkey and a whole lot of other street-organ players. I believe there will be a tanzibar as well, although I have no idea in the world what a tanzibar is because it’s not in Webster’s 11th. This is all happening between noon and 6:00 P.M. on W. 12th St. between Surf Ave. and the Boardwalk. As a longtime WFMU Listener I thrill at strange sounds, and I doubt that I will ever have another chance to hear such melodic cacophony. Plus there will be a monkey. A very old monkey. A terrifying little old man of a monkey, wheezing and demanding coins from me. I WOULDN’T MISS IT FOR THE WORLD! And I hope I’ll see you there, too.

Remember last year when the Mesa, Arizona SWAT team put in for a $100,000 federal law-enforcement grant to train a little Capuchin crimefighter? They wanted to get a monkey and outfit him with a little Kevlar vest and a video cam and a two-way radio, but I think they forgot to ask for the barrel organ. Anyway, as far as I know, they haven’t heard back from the feds yet. I was very sorry to hear that, because I was really counting on monkey crimefighters to stop the bum fights. So that’s the monkey update.

In a particularly rude display of time having its way with all of us, my arrival at WFMU this morning was met with the sad news that Nikki Sudden, founding member of pre-punk greats the Swell Maps, Dylanesque duo the Jacobites, (click band names for Real Audio) and solo artist extraordinaire passed away less than one week after performing live on my radio show.

A week ago at this time, I was plenty nervous about meeting Nikki after so many years of being a fan of his music and live performances. When he showed up at the station, I was immediately taken aback by his disarmingly friendly demeanor, the incredible performance he wheeled out, and the amused patience he exhibited while dealing with me in my moment of total fanboy dorkiness. For a guy who could easily get away with pulling a pretentious, rock-god entitlement trip, I'm proud to report that Nikki Sudden was nothing if not a sweetheart, a gentleman, and a true class act. He is sure to be missed.

Anyone who'd seen Nikki perform in recent years was rewarded with an intimate engagement that felt more like catching up with an old friend than a mere rock show. Truth be told, he'd rarely get a great turnout in NYC and I think he'd be the first one to admit it. But he also made it abundantly clear that he had too much style to be phased by small crowds or being stuck on lousy bills with far lesser acts. He'd always mingle with everyone beforehand, share cigarettes with friends outside the club, and exhibit the kind of genuine excitement that's rarely seen in newcomers, let alone those who've played a strong hand in sculpting the underground rock world (and who never aspired to leave it behind for something more professionally validating.) Nikki Sudden made it clear that he was in love with what he was doing as much now as he was when the Swell Maps exploded out of the gates in 1972. The above photo was taken by my friend Rob Watts during Nikki's live set on my show last Monday evening. You are hereby invited to stream the entire performance right now in Real Audio, and hopefully latch on to another piece of what made him so special.

This episode of this series continues from my evening of scanning the shortwave bands March 1, 2006. This time it’s the next hour and the next band. This is the 41 meter band (7100 to 7350 kHz), another popular chunk of the shortwave frequencies. Again, this recording is an unedited slow motion frolic through the signals using my BCL-2000, sitting at my kitchen table in Brooklyn.

And I want to again thank reader Ralph who contributed some edifying comments in last week’s post. Now I have a better grasp on tracking down “images” of stronger signals which pop up on nearby erroneous spots on the dial. This is perhaps the greatest fault of the BCL radios, and an inherent problem in single-conversion radios in general. Dual conversion sets effectively filter most images and are generally a bit more expensive.

A couple years ago, when I was shopping around for a higher end old portable I was scouting ebay and I had pretty much decided I was going to hunt down one of two classic receivers– the Panasonic RF-2200 or the Sony ICF-2010. Both are discontinued, and in good shape they generally go for about the same price on ebay– about two-hundred bucks (although a mint 2010 in its box could go for a hundred or two more). My analog instincts led to me to go after the RF-2200 and I don’t regret it. It’s a hell of a rig and it pulls the weak signals out of the ether, and is a great radio to DX the AM band. It's also dual-conversion. However, after the 2010 was mentioned once or twice in the comments section here, it's gotten me to take a second look at it. The 2010 is not as nearly as handsome the 2200 and doesn’t have that golden glow of frequencies, but I’ve come to realize that the 2010 is just one amazing device. And now my gadget lust has launched a little feedback loop in my radio heart. I want one. I really want one. However, I really don’t have the cash handy right now. But I’m looking at ‘em on ebay... Someday. You can read some reviews of this mighty little digital gadget here, here and here. It's 1984 technology that Sony happened to really get right (It was manufactured for almost 20 years!). However, If you've got some cash on your hands and you want something new, many think the new Eton E1 improves on this radio's legacy.

Thanks to everyone who has contributed covers of Todd Colby's Cake. We currently have 93 MP3s (full listing and MP3s here). We still need more to fill a three-hour show on Wednesday afternoon so keep 'em coming. You can email submissions directly to kg(at)wfmu(dot)org.

If you're wondering what's going on here and/or need instructions on how to participate, you can find out here.

If you like hypnotic ambient sound, it doesn't get much better than the Janitor From Mars show. Acapulco Dance Party plays great stuff from the genre as well. Links to their full archives are below, alongside links to music of the ambient genre from their show.

March 26, 2006

Don't you love going to shows where tons of bands play and you know next to nothing about most of them? Sometimes it turns out to be a total disaster, but that is part of the fun. And on more than one such occasion I have discovered musicians who totally blew me away. Just remember the one important rule: Don't run away if it sucks. Unless it is the last band, of course. If you really can't stand it, do some drugs, or bang your head against a wall, that usually helps. I vividly remember the 1985 Total Music Meeting in Berlin, where I endured the tedious free jazz exercises of three academics who tried hard to prove that they could play wrong notes, too. Had I left at that point, I would have missed the fantastic and hilarious set of Phil Minton, Peter Brötzmann, and the late great Hugh Davies. I had never heard of any of these guys before.

In December I had the fortune to be in Berlin again to attend a Daniel Johnston tribute show, with 19 bands, a screening of the documentary The Devil and Daniel Johnston (featuring Gibby Haynes being interviewed in a dentist's chair, and NYC hipsters singing along to a religious song), and a remote video contribution by Kevin Blechdom and Planningtorock. Most of the names in the line-up were absolutely new to me, and I was prepared for the worst. Fortunately, it turned out to be really great, you can read more about it here. However, one performer stuck out of the crowd, and literally tore the place to pieces. That guy was Elvis Pummel, the king of Original 50's Punk from Dortmund, Germany.