No, seriously, how? Maybe the question should be ‘CAN I hate something that has saved my life?” or even “Can I hate something that has CHANGED my life?” Because, I can hate the fact that my disease was so bad, they had no other option than to remove my colon and give me my ileostomy. I can hate that fact until the cows come home, it still doesn’t change what happened. Does hating my ostomy make it easier to accept? Does this just make me negative and unable to live with it? I have no choice but to live with…

We spent the morning traveling across the city to Queen Elizabeth Hospital (QE) for my liver check-up. I’ve been attending this particular clinic for almost three years since some routine blood tests revealed very high liver function results. Given my complicated IBD history, I’ve been seeing the head of the department, a Professor; and had lots more blood work done and specialised testing to give me a diagnosis. Not that I’ve ever needed one; my blood work has never shown any more elevated LFTs beyond what my IBD team expect at the given time. That being said, I last attended…

Tuesday 23rd August (cont’d) “I’ve got a space for you on the end of the emergency list today, could be this afternoon, probably this evening though.” Ward round this morning and surgeon is keen to remove my colon today. Despite being busy, he will stay and do my surgery when his list is complete. Turned out that meant waiting all day – still experiencing more blood than I’ve ever known to come out of me – until the anesthetist came to see me at 6pm. We talked through my procedure – a subtotal colectomy with ileostomy – and my options…

It’s always abit weird to see how another hospital organise their clinics. This was our second visit to see Dr Moran – head of Digestive Disorders, specialising in clinical trials for IBD – to discuss my case. Since we last came in January, I’ve had two surgeries, three admissions, two MRI and a CT scan and a colonoscopy. Explaining the last six months was going to be fun. I took him through the last couple of weeks and explained where Good Hope had got me to – a failed right hemicolectomy in May which resulted in a reoccurrence of my…

Thursday, August 11th “I feel absolutely awful. If I’m honest, I’ve felt awful for weeks and I’m at the end of my tether. Please help me.” I was on the phone to my IBD nurse, begging for help. I’ve never begging for an admission but that is what came out of my mouth next; “I’d really like to be admitted.” She wasn’t shocked, just said she’d need to speak to my consultant and surgeon to find a bed for me on the Gastro ward – always going to be a big ask but I knew she’d come through for me…