Motherhood, babies, life, celebrities, politics…kitty’s claws come out when she’s in the mood.

Baby Bump, Baby Weight October 29, 2007

A quick glance at myself as I cruised past a full-view mirror at the office today revealed that if I were a celeb, the gossip rags would all be suspicious that I am preggo. Seems that maybe where my skirt hits my belly with a shorter cardigan on top, it might not be the most flattering look. At least from the side. I’m always pretty from the front (and the back), they say…

The quick mirror glance followed by reading up on the most current issues of People and US got me thinking. And mad. Shocker.

First, one of them is speculating that Katie Holmes is preggo again. Let’s be clear – she’s my least fav celeb mom, she seems way more preoccupied with her hair and her couture clothing than she does with her child.

Yeah yeah, bite me with “You don’t know what happens behind closed doors,” I’m catty. And seeing Katie Holmes in a park in Germany “chasing” after her toddler in like 6 inch heels, following her stint on the Mediterranean this summer in a one-piece and heels on the beach with Suri in tow, makes me cringe. I’d much rather see Jenny Garner tooling around NYC in sneakers with Violet in tow.

But setting all that aside, Katie Holmes’ suspected “baby bump” was hardly that. Hell, I am looking 36 weeks preggo in comparison to her bump (no, I’m not pregnant. nor do I want to be right now). Then the next shot is one of her in one of those “baby doll” dresses only further feeding the fire of speculation (those dresses fall into the same category as empire waist for me – why wear stuff that seems like maternity wear unless you are preggo?).

I’m left wondering – does it feel crappy to have the world speculate that you are pregnant when you are not pregnant (unless she is)? I mean – no matter how thin you are, it really can’t feel good.

Which brings me back to that age-old rant about celebs and taking off the baby weight. Recall how hideous Jamie Pressly was at the Emmys with her talk of the cabbage detox diet and working out mere days after the birth of her child.

Hello….La La land…this is reality calling…and it doesn’t work out like that for the rest of us “normal folk.”

So then I read the interview with Trista from the Bachelorette, and while I question her being a “celebrity” and worthy of front page People exposure, at least she gets herself out there. But the US cover story on Trista losing her baby weight by the New Year REALLY pissed me off.

The way she’s going about losing it seems normal enough. Her son is 3 months old, she only has that last horrid 10 pounds to go and she did talk about the importance of eating healthy and enough food for her son and breastfeeding. SO that’s great. But she also sounded psycho. She mouths off about how fat and unattractive she is, how much she doesn’t think her husband wants her, meanwhile she weighs like 116 pounds and is a size 4.

And she spends A LOT of time talking about how she can barely look at herself in the mirror.

Excuse me while I go wipe some vomit from my mouth…..

OK – so again – I realize that Trista is not a celebrity by KT’s standards but the sad truth is that she’s likely to be some young tween’s role model. I can assure you, she will not be my child’s role model but hell, she’s just coming on 2, so who knows. The bottom line is that young, impressionable girls read these mags. Just like sleep deprived, heavier than normal, hormonal new mommy’s are probably reading this magazine, and to read that just over 110 pounds and a size 4 just 3 months after giving birth, or ever quite frankly, is disgusting and foul and warrants husband reassurance that she is sexy – is pathetic.

Even if I didn’t have a daughter, I’d still be mouthing off at this. I’m not suggesting that Trista’s words should have been edited, I’m suggesting that Trista should have edited herself before saying it in such a public, influential space (ha ha, yes, I just called US “influential” – ha ha). And if Trista is too caught up in her own pathetic insecure body image to censor and control herself in an interview, then US Weekly should have included one of their “inset boxes” with an “expert” talking about how that is a very healthy and small weight.