Friday, October 10, 2008

Secretary Paulson and President Bush Plan On Taking Economy Out For A 'Guys Night On The Town'

President Bush and Secretary of the Treasury Henry Paulson announced Friday that they planned to take the American economy out for what they called, "a good old guys night on the town." Details of the night were vague, with President Bush only going so far as to promise "some beer, some chicken, you know, whatever game's on that night." The government has become increasingly worried about the state of the economy, especially after the historic 700 billion bailout plan that was passed last week failed to pick up the slumping market. "We haven't seen it this bad in a while. We're worried," Paulson said.

The Dow dropped close to 700 points Thursday, closing below 9,000 for the first time since 2003.

The track record for former outings with the economy have been hit or miss, most notably when FDR's Secretary of the Treasury Henry Morgenthau took the economy out to a "picture show" in 1936, though most economists agreed that despite Morgenthau's best intentions, his choice of "Mr. Deeds Goes To Town" only served to bum the economy out even more because it found Gary Cooper to be such a "sour puss". Newly appointed Fed Chairman Alan Greenspan had better luck when he took the economy out for the steak special at Sizzlers in 1989, narrowly diverting an economic disaster.

Despite the outcome, Paulson was adamant on the message they were trying to get across, "This is the best damn economy there is, and it's about time it and everyone else knew that."