I am the First Lady of HR with a stellar career.
"People" is my middle name, on Tuesdays.
"Save a dollar, save a dime, spending cash is a corporate crime"

Sunday, 31 March 2013

Coaching Ms Cynthia Axe

Following the Q4 non wow results, revenues are being "adjusted" for 2017. A certain Ms Cynthia Axe, who heads our Involuntary Early Bird Retirement plan, will have her white hands full, as we "right-size".

Hands full

In an attempt to blackmail me given her growing workload, Axe has recently complained of sore wrists, headaches and malaise. Malaise is a French word.

I decided to preempt Ms Axe and reach out to her.

I gave Axe some coaching by text over the weekend and we solved 99% of the issues. (I am a certified coach, and I can use the letters CC after my name. Mais oui! CC is certified coach).

I shall give her a Blackberry Priv. Axe is American and it won't do her any harm to help my brothers Frank and Ernest, who work in Blackberry in Waterloo Canada.

In line with her core value of blackmail, Ms Axe also wants to become a certified coach, so I am looking for a brief course that will certify her in coaching, in line with my core value of co-opting her.

Here is the spec of the coaching course for Axe that I am looking for:

1-Brief (5 hours)

2-Wow

3-Discounted

4-Gives a degree with letters to put after her family name, like MD or LLB.

5-Global and sustainable

6-prepare Axe for a PhD at a fairly unknown, but accredited, university