7.09.2013

I know, I know. I’m so ridiculously behind here. I do have some pretty good reasons, though,
so I’m hoping you’ll cut me a little slack.

I jumped back here for two reasons. First, shamelessly, is to promote the new
book release. Broadway Paperbacks just
releasedEx-Communication today (third book in the Ex-Heroes
series). It’s available at your local
bookstore, Amazon, on the Kindle, at Audible.com... everywhere. Check it out.

Second is to rant a bit about a phrase I see popping up
again and again, usually to explain (or excuse) Games Workshop’s prices. Because they’re really getting kind of
crazy. I originally started this page
because I was a struggling writer who couldn’t afford to pay GW prices when I
need to pay rent. Well, paying the
rent’s a lot easier now, but—as much as I love it—I’m still not sure I can
afford how much this game costs.

Anyway, the phrase in question is “the Ferrari of miniatures
games,” or some variant on it. If you
follow this hobby on the web (and you’re here, so I’m guessing you do), you’ve
probably seen this idea expressed one way or another. Simply put, Games Workshop feels like they’ve
got the best products which carry a certain prestige and status to the owner,
and that warrants the highest prices—much in the same way a Ferrari costs so
much more than a Volkswagen or a Kia, despite having all the same basic parts made from all the same materials.

See, there’s one huge problem with this idea, though. And it’s the one GW—and most of us—tend to
overlook because it reflects on us.

Everyone knows what a Ferrari is. Everyone knows what it’s worth. Everyone knows it is a high point, if not the
pinnacle, of automotive ownership, and almost half the people in the world own
cars.

Let’s repeat that word, because it’s important. Everyone. Not just the girls at the club or the guys at
the office. If I drive a Ferrari through
a village of huts in Africa or a six-building town in the Australian outback,
people there are going to point at my car and go “Holy Crap! A Ferrari!
Here! Holy crap!”

A Ferrari is a status symbol because of this universal
recognition. That’s how being a status
symbol works. Something can’t be “the
Ferrari of X” unless X is also something universally known and recognized. You could have the Ferrari of shoes or
refrigerators, but the Ferrari of mellonballers is just kind of silly (no
matter how beautifully designed that mellonballer is). Something just can’t be that kind of status
symbol if 99% of the world doesn’t use it or holds it in a poor light.

For example... little toy soldiers.

If I try to impress the girls at the club with my
pro-painted Dark Eldar models, I feel safe saying I’ll be going home alone that
night. If I bring up my phenomenal Demon
Prince conversion during my performance review at the office, it probably won’t
improve my chances for that promotion.
And if I show up in that African village or Australian town carrying an
armload of Space Marines, odds are I’m going to learn lots of colorful local
terms for “geek” and possibly also “weirdo,” “man-child,” and maybe even
“loser.”

I don’t say this to be cruel, just straight-forward. All of us here are a lot of grown men and
women who play with little toy soldiers.
The vast majority of the planet’s population does not see this as
something to be incredibly proud of or as a huge plus in the personality/ life
choices departments. I can try to spin
it anyway I like, but that’s the simple truth of things. I’m okay with it (hell, I also like LEGOs and
I write about superheroes fighting zombies for a living), but I’m also under no
illusions about it. We're a minority.

See, that’s why this whole Ferrari mentality (and business
plan) doesn’t work. People are willing
to pay huge sums of money for a Ferrari because everyone, everywhere knows what
owning a Ferrari means. Not to sound
crass, but people get sex out of owning Ferraris. Yes, even today.

And that’s never going to happen with little toy
soldiers. No matter how crisp the lines
are on those highlights, owning a box full of Game Workshop Fire Warriors and
Crisis Suits is never, ever going to be a status symbol. Which is why this mentality—and pricing
system—really can’t be applied to them.

...There Is Only War!!!

I'm a long-time Warhammer 40,000 fan who thinks there's a viable middle ground between the folks who insist on dropping a few hundred dollars to get a usable army and the people who show up with a rubber dinosaur to represent a Carnifex or some green army men bulking out their Imperial Guard platoon.

Don't get me wrong. I love Games Workshop's models and I hate seeing a milk carton standing in for a Land Raider. But when a financial crunch forced me to become a lot more thrifty with my toy soldiers, I didn't stop playing. I just found ways to customize and create perfectly usable units with the resources I had. And I've done it enough that I think it's worth sharing with anyone who's interested.

So save a few frozen pizza boxes, grab some white glue, and let's build an Imperial Knight that any loyal servant of the Emperor would be honored to have fighting alongside them.

Disclaimer

Warhammer 40,000, Imperial Knights, Orks, Necrons, Dark Eldar, Alpha Legion, Relictors, Thousand Sons, Death Guard, Ultramarines, White Scars, Kroot, Khorne, Nurgle, Slaneesh, Tzeentch, Age of Sigmar, and many other terms and images used on this site are trademarks of Games Workshop Limited, which does not sponsor, endorse, or authorize this website. Please visit the official Games Workshop site at www.games-workshop.com