My life! This blog starts when I am a surgery intern and single mom adopting my son from Kyrgyzstan. Now I am married with 10 kids from Kyrgyzstan, Ghana, and China and some bio kids sprinkled in there. Working on slowing down to enjoy all of my blessings!

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Father's Day

Around our house, when Lilianna gets in trouble and I am not home....Keith tells her wait until Mom gets home - you have to tell Mom what you did. It isn't because I am the disciplinarian. Believe me, Keith has the stony discipline face of doom. It is because it breaks Lilianna's heart to disappoint me. It makes me feel like maybe we are doing something right that our children are somewhat motivated to make good choices just by virture that they don't want to disappoint us. Later, when their frontal lobes are more developed they will make choices because they understand consequences and right and wrong...but for now I am satisfied that they make choices so that they won't disappoint us.

So, what does this have to do with father's day...ok really nothing...it was just something I noticed.

I sent my dad a Worldvision gift...I love those...he gave someone a goat. Keith gave someone a Llama and 2 ducks. As I was writing the little e-card for my dad to let him know that his save the world one goat at a time daughter has cheated him out of another tie this year.....I came to the realization that some of my motivation is still to keep from disappointing my parents. Albeit...most of that kind of stuff is internalized into the what is right and wrong...so I don't worry if my mommy is going to yell at me or not. I sometimes wonder what my parents would do in a certain situation or wonder what my dad would think about me if I did one thing vs. another. Really it is a pointless discussion that goes on in my head because my parents are always proud of me and always support whatever hair-brained idea I come up with!

Growing up I always admired my parents, respected them and knew that they were good people. So, as I was growing up, if I came upon a situation that I didn't know what to do...I could think to myself....what would my dad do. My dad is an overwhelmingly compassionate man. You might not know it by looking at him or listening to him. If you watch his actions though....it is unmistakeable that he cares about other people and will take risks and put himself out there to give people a chance. That makes him vulnerable and he gets hurt at times...but growing up...I saw him always give people a chance. So when I require compassion...I think of my dad...when I find myself losing my compassion (which happens all of the time in medicine)...I remember the example of compassion I was lucky enough to live with for 17 years...give or take a couple of years in my 20's and 30's!

My dad is really great and cares deeply about things which has been hard on him...I am sure. Somehow...like a little kid...he kept his compassion and I really, really, really admire him for that. He kept his compassion even after people repeatedly broke his heart and disappointed him. Boy does he have a way of telling those stories too that can break anyone's heart!

Not everyone is lucky enough to have good fathers...or fathers at all. My father reminds me to be compassionate, he always reminds me to enjoy my family and my life. He is the voice that says to me....big picture....don't get lost in the details. I could not be me and I could not be as happy as I am right now if I didn't have him as a dad.

Dad has done a good job with me. Shout out to mom....she is pretty cool too (don't want you to feel left out!)