Things people say/ask when you’ve had a baby

When I was pregnant, and I’m sure this applies to everyone who has been pregnant, people asked the same questions day-in and day-out:

“Are you excited?”

“Are you nervous?”

“Have you been sick/keeping well?”

“Have you had any cravings?” – this one was very common and when I said no everyone was always very disappointed, mainly, I think, because they had run out of questions to ask me.

It was an interesting time because I basically became a baby-carrier who could, apparently, only answer questions about being pregnant, forget about who I actually was, which, by the way, is a lot more than a pregnant woman!

But I didn’t realise the best was yet to come! Having a baby, you get some goooood questions. Also unsolicited opinions from everyone about your baby, give me a break!!

Here’s the most common:

1. “OMG! He’s MASSIVE!!!”

This is quite specific to me, or other ladies who might have had bigger babies. Said with emphasis. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not naive, I get that Adam is quite big. He was born at 9lbs 13oz so I can understand that he is bigger than a 6lber. However, when you are holding this tiny, breakable little newborn in your arms, the last thing you think about is the fact that he is apparently MASSIVE (capital letters essential here). I’m still getting it now that he is 13 weeks and I don’t have a witty response, I come over all embarrassed and mutter something about the fact that he was 9lbs 13oz and so he continues to be large. God love him, he’s hardly the Michelin Man.

‘MASSIVE’ baby

2. “Did you have him yourself?”

Linked to the above but I imagine is quite a common one. Now this is like a red rag to a bull for me because my memory of my 25 hour labour and emergency c-section still rattles around in my head daily so for someone to ask this as if having a c-section is actually not “having him yourself” does my box in! I do realise I’m a tad senstive though, I get that what they’re actually asking is “Did you have him vaginally” but of course NOBODY wants to talk about vaginas in the middle of Asda. I do make sure in my response to this one that I did indeed have him myself (duh!) but I did need a c-section in the end. Which by the way people, still counts as having ‘had him myself’. I wasn’t hobbling around for 5 weeks for nothing.

3. “Are you feeding him yourself?”

Similar to the above and equally as intrusive. Now, again, this is just a question that is avoiding using the word ‘breast’ however it’s worded so poorly that it makes me feel almost apologetic and guilty when I say that I’m formula feeding. As if motherhood wasn’t hard enough without feeling guilty about the fact that you chose to formula feed. Nobody is actually judging me though I guess, I think itmight be me that’s judging myself a little bit. In future I’m just going to be more confident when I say that of course I’m feeding my child myself, I give him a bottle regularly!

4. “Is he good?”

Finally, my absolute favourite, and one that never fails to make me chuckle inside. Honestly?! “Is he good?” A 13 week old baby can’t be “good” or “bad”. What people really mean, and what they actually want to know is if they are sleeping well or whether you are up at all hours of the night feeling and looking like a zombie. So I tell them that he’s amazing and that he is sleeping through. Which is the truth, but of course he has his moments of meltdown when I feel like the worst mother in the world, but nobody actually wants to hear that, do they?

So just a tip if you see someone who has a newborn, avoid these questions! Ask how she’s feeling, and for goodness sake ask her if she wants a cup of (hot) tea. Because I can tell you something, she does!!