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I have been unemployed for seven months now and I can’t seem to find a job. Now, before you tell me to just go get a job I do have a little something I would like you to take a look at.

That is how I feel almost every day. Sure, I could go work at Best Buy, Walmart, or some fast food joint, but that’s not what I went to college for. Apparently, I just went to college to be 30 grand in debt because that expensive ass piece of paper sure as hell isn’t finding me any work.

I’ll put up a little bit of my resume for you to take a look at. I have a Bachelor’s in Technical Communications and a part of that goes like this:

I can proofread and edit documents, create how-to manuals, user guides, SOPs, online help, design specifications, project plans, usability studies, white papers, and training materials and videos (video/audio editing); I wrote several front page stories for the Griffon News. I have experience with both the Adobe Suite and Microsoft Office programs along with a few other random programs; I have the ability to learn new computer software programs at a quick pace.

That’s just a small part of my college experience. I also have a Minor in Biology. That part of the resume goes a bit like this:

I can execute and complete assignments through validated procedures within Quality Compliance guidelines; I have used microscopes and performed bio-analytical methods, such as, immunological, in vivo, microbiological, molecular biological, or virological tests. I have been published in an article written by the Center for Disease Control when I helped them collect field data concerning the Heartland Virus; I have used GPS/GIS data location technology in the tracking of ticks, bats, and the endangered Western Prairie Ridge Orchid.

Now, to me, that sounds pretty damn bad ass! I mean, why in (insert person/deity here in plural form) name would someone not want to hire a guy with this kind of experience? If I were me, at some fancy company in a CEO position, looking at my resume I would be like, “Damn, we need this guy here.”

It’s about to get deeper; I have even more college experience. I have an Associate’s Degree in Theatre Arts. I even put experience I gained from there on my resume and it reads as follows:

Supervise the cast and crew to make sure they had everything they needed to do their acting jobs. I was responsible for the lighting and all other technical details of the staged play; I trained new students the skills needed to be a Stage Manager. I also wrote two plays that were successfully produced and put on stage.

With all this experience, why am I not finding a job? It’s not like I’m not trying. I have turned in hundreds of resumes. Here are a few of the places I have applied or types of careers I have applied for:

Altec (Many times)

NPG Multimedia (Many times)

Accounts Pay Admin

Border

Copy Editor

DuPont

Environmental/Public Works and Transportation

Executive Leadership Solutions

Family Guidence

FEMA

Academic Teacher

All Medical

American Angus

American Water

Hillyard

Boehringer Ingelheim (Many many times)

Cameron Mutual Insurance

CPA Firm

Degree Auditor for Missouri Western

Edward Jones

EMW Industrial

University of Missouri Extension

Foley

GPS Impact

Grain

Healthcare Services Group

Herzog

Johnson Controls

Kelly Lab Tech

Allied Arts Council

Mitchell Park

Mosaic (Many many times)

St. Joe News Press (Many times)

Nabisco

Nestle

Transwest

UGL Unicco

United Suppliers

J House

KQTV

Silgan

Test Administrator for the Department of the Army

WellCare

That’s not even half of the things I have applied for. I honestly didn’t intend on the list to be that long, but once I got started it was hard to stop. You can guarantee I’m going to tag all those places in this post.

After all of the frustration in months of trying to find work and getting rejection letter after rejection letter I finally decided I will just work for myself and be my own boss. How though? What should I do?

At first, I thought, “Hey, I could do YouTube videos!” People get paid doing YouTube videos. People even make a living off of it. Plus, I’m pretty good at making videos. I know I have run this one in the dirt by showing it off over and over, but it’s really the only one I have left after I got out of college. So, check out my expertise:

The only problem with this idea is that I don’t have a camera or access to the Adobe suite to edit my videos. I thought about doing some type of website crowdfunding thing, but then it happened. The entire universe came crashing down on YouTube. A lot of advertisers started pulling their ads and stopped paying YouTube because the advertisers didn’t want their ads playing on controversial videos.

There has been a big reaction on this. Some of my favorite YouTubers have actually slowed down or stopped making videos because there isn’t much money in it now. Some YouTubers have even tried to change things up to attract more advertisers. Like this one for example:

YouTube may not be the best answer right now. My next idea was to do the Freelance Writer bit. I feel as though I am getting very close to landing my first paying Freelance gig, but I’m not quite there yet.

As of today, this is unfortunately the last day I have access to a computer and internet for a long while. I don’t have a computer at the house and I live so far out in the country it’s going to cost me $400 to $500 just to get anyone to hook up the internet at my house. *HINT*HINT*WINK*WINK*SEND*ME*MONEY*WINK*HINT*