“The advocates can’t keep getting up at three in the morning and driving to the hospital,” said Neil Irvin, executive director of Washington D.C. based group Men Can Stop Rape. The conference aims to prevent sexual violence, eventually bringing it to an end, by engaging men in “bystander intervention” techniques.

A wide swath of public service agency employees attended, including law enforcement officers from several Connecticut police departments, members of the Office of the Victim’s Advocate, Department of Children and Families workers as well as domestic and sexual violence direct services agencies.

The campaign, “Where do you stand?” is a partnership between the Connecticut Sexual Assault Crisis Services (CONNSACS), a statewide coalition of nine sexual assault crisis centers, and Men Can Stop Rape, a non-profit that uses research-based, positive messages to encourage men to be active bystanders.

“Bystander intervention” can range from checking in with a drunk female friend before she leaves with another man, to call a female friend’s cell phone when she’s being harassed by a another man.

More than a dozen possible actions were tested with several focus groups, four made it onto posters that the groups hope will be hung in public spaces in college campuses, libraries and grocery stores. The techniques chosen for posters tested in the 90th percentile for likely actions men would take to intervene in a possible dangerous situation.

“When Nicole couldn’t lose that drunk guy I called her cell to give her an out,” is written on one poster, which pictures a young man surrounded by friends. The poster is one of several meant to depict scenarios where men could be “allies” to women.

Men can also get involved by signing a pledge which has various levels of commitment. Men can pledge to, “Be my best self and encourage other men to be their best selves,” “speak up when I hear sexist or homophobic comments,” and “Participate in a one-hour ‘Where Do You Stand?’ bystander intervention training in the next six months.”

“When the normalization of these attitudes are gone, you’re going to have not men and women, but human beings,” said Irvin, referring to attitudes that see women as “less than.”

Pat McGann, Director of Strategy and Planning for Men Can Stop Rape, said considering women “less than” justifies men committing violence against women. “That’s when it becomes a problem, when you see somebody as less than… and if it’s women, it’s easier to sexually assault them,” said McGann.

Middletown Police Captain Gary Wallace was one of three Connecticut men honored at the conference, for working to prevent domestic violence. Wallace, said organizers, helped make the law enforcement process victim-centric. Law enforcement agencies nationwide have long had a reputation of insensitivity toward sexual assault victims.

“We do take a person’s history into account,” Wallace said as a way of heading off defense attorneys, “but that doesn’t mean they’re not telling the truth, that doesn’t mean they deserve to be a victim.”

Irvin and other advocates refer to the campaign as a sustained effort, hoping that the cultural shift can prevent sex assault and domestic violence by speaking against attitudes that promote the, conscious or unconscious, belief that women are inferior.