Friday, April 15, 2011

Let's Keep Talking Workshop Launch, April 14, 2011

What a powerful evening! Thanks to everyone who attended the workshop. The goal was to begin creating honest, respectful and loving communication with our daughters. I was witness to many magical moments where honesty and love filled the room.

In order to deepen and strengthen the bonds created at the Girls in the Know speaker series, www.girlsintheknow.org, we began with deep breathing, followed by beginning to understand, journaling and overcoming awkward moment activities. We concluded by sharing our "aha" moments!

I was touched and impressed by the courage shown by the girls. Their actions spoke to how much they love their moms and desire healthy communication. We heard first hand how our girls sometimes interpret our stress, a big "aha" moment! They also shared how refreshing it is to know adults make mistakes too!

Moms shared that they want to be the one their daughter can turn to in times of need....the GOOD NEWS....your daughters want that too!!! The common theme for the evening: we all want love and understanding.

I will keep you posted as Girls in the Know and I discuss ways to bring you more workshops! If you are interested in rounding up a group of 15 mothers and daughters for a follow up session, we would be happy to make that happen. Some topics for future sessions include: real love vs. the other kind, journaling, talking heart to heart, talking about tough topics, creating agreements vs. arguments.

I have summarized the responses below and highlighted my favorite responses from the "beginning to understand" activity. Please celebrate your successes and take the time to have ongoing conversations and create "agreements" about how to handle your challenges.

MOM ANSWERS:

1. (mother)I’m very proud of my daughter when______shows compassion, does the right thing, stands up for a friendfeels confident to be her true selfswims on the team

3. (mother) I’d like to apologize to my daughter for______being impatientnot believing her when she is telling the truthgetting stressed when I drive and set a bad example4. (mother) Sometimes I’m embarrassed when my daughter______complains about minor things

5. (mother) I feel especially close to my daughter/my mom when______we cuddle & talkshe come comes to me with ? & concerns, opens up, I love being her source of comfort & guidanceshe confides in me6. (mother) Most of our conflicts are about______not listeningwanting independence to make her own decisions

7. (mom only)I could do a better job as a mom if I______I knew she was always telling me the truth

8. (mom only) The best advice I could give my daughter is______listen to your inner voicechoose people who are close to you with carebe you!

9. (mom only) The hardest part about being a mom is _____balancing all the demands so you can make time to spend with your daughter

10. (mom only) Sometimes I _____ I’m trying to change this behavior.overreactbeing a perfectionist, too controlling, need to be more flexible

DAUGHTER ANSWERS:

1. (daughter)I’m very proud of my mom when______

2. (daughter) I wish my mom would _______ more.spend quality time/talk with mebe proud of me more and congratulate me by taking me out to celebratemake funny jokes

3. (daughter) I’d like to apologize to my mom for______yelling, getting mad so oftenwhinning when she is righttalking back

5. (daughter) I feel especially close to my mom when______talktalk about stuff we wouldn't usually talk aboutshe really listens and understandshug

6. (daughter) Most of our conflicts are about______homeworksiblingswhat I wear

7. (daughter) I would be easier to live with if I______had a cell phone so I could call you with the code word

8. (daughters)When something is bothering me I’d like my mom to______hug me/ask whats wrong ("aha" moment: they want us to ask and hug them even though their body language might suggest otherwise!)talk to me and help me figure out what I should dohave empathy

9. (daughters)When we argue I sometime_____ (even though I know its wrong). I’m working to change this behavior.saying bad words

10. (daughters)If I’m ever a mom, I promise I will_______always be loving

PARTICIPANT COMMENTS:

"I feel like I can talk to my mom"

"I feel better about what my mom said...hopefully we'll get through rough patches with better communication"

"I want to talk heart to heart with my mom"

"I learned my mom wants to tell more jokes"

"I feel able to talk to my mom about stuff I couldn't before"

"I learned grown ups still make mistakes"

"I feel we can do more to work on our relationship, like journaling"

"I learned there are many ways to achieve a closer relationship"

"I feel happy and close with my daughter"

With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts. ~Eleanor Roosevelt