My husband is allergic to fish and nuts. Luckily I hate all fish and seafood. I also don't eat nuts. We were on a business/fun trip with people he works with. At a fancy dinner, everyone got seafood and mystery (octopus?) soup. Neither of us ate ours. We told the people at our table that he was allergic, and thats why I didn't eat it either. Someone at our table actually guessed why, and they don't have allergies personally. I was shocked that someone figured it out.

My husband and I are celebrating our 24th wedding anniv. next month. For half of that I have been ana. to nuts and peanuts. Our daughter will also be 19 in the same month. Our life goes on. Our house is our safe haven. I have learnt the meaning of true love. Thats a given.

I have recently aquired many allergies to most of the food that I used to eat, medicines and to cold weather.

I feel very angry and frustrated that this is happening to me. It has significantly changed my attitude as I am not at the point where I can joke about my allergies light heartedly. This is how my family and boyfriend tend to deal with these things. Right now I am just so worried and afraid of the allergic reactions I am having every few days I find little funny.

I have had a tough life with many difficult situations, but this is proving to be the toughest.

Any suggestions on how to ask my loved ones to quit joking? I have asked straight out but to no avail. I love them a lot...but this has really changed me and I feel quite alone in this situation.

Humour can be a great way of dealing with serious situations. I have a friend who had breast cancer and she can make fun of herself, but I certainly would not have started it. It had to come from her first and she had to be ready for that.

We are at that point with my daughter and it is good to laugh at some situations.

Obviously you are not ready for that yet, so I would suggest to tell your loved ones just like you told us here. You are not ready for that. You are scared and worried and what you need right now from them is their support. Tell them how this has been a life-changing event for you and how you need to learn to deal with the world in a completely different way from now on.

You are not alone, you have this forum, a good place to turn to for advice and to vent.

_________________15 year old - asthmatic, allergic to cats, dogs, horses, waiting to be "officially" diagnosed for anaphylaxis
12 year old - asthmatic, allergic to tree pollen and mold, OAS
Husband - Allergic to amoxycillin
Self - Allergic to housework only

I've been where you are. It is frustrating, especially if you are dealing with food and drug allergies, both of which are potentially life-threatening.

One thing I've learned as someone with adult onset food allergies - people joke because they don't quite comprehend the seriousness. Unless you're in a reaction, you're fine and healthy. They probably don't purposely intend to upset you they just don't quite 'get' it. You'll see numbers of threads about relatives and not "getting it" on this site - it's a recurring theme.

The lesson I learned is that it's up to me to be charge of my allergies. If someone criticizes me for them or scoffs, I just ignore them and press on with what I have to do. (I'm no longer embarrassed by allergies.) I have had to educate my relatives. One time at a restaurant, I started to give the waitress my spiel about alerting the chef to my allergies to peanut, soy and shellfish. The relative I was with started chiming in with - 'yeah, she can't really eat much ... we're the high-maintenance table, ha, ha..." Calmly, in my don't-mess-with-me voice, I told her to let me explain to the waitress that my allergies are life-threatening; I said I needed to be clear so there was no mistake in the kitchen that could put me into a serious reaction. As soon as I threw in the l-t part, the waitress was all ears.

That relative has come around considerably. It was an adjustment for her, too. I think she didn't grasp it at first because she doesn't stand in my shoes, she doesn't live it daily.

One quick other thing - has your allergist been able to identify your allergies for you yet? Doing so really helps. You refer to having a lot of reactions to different triggers. I went through a period where the allergist wasn't entirely sure what I was reacting to. There were several rounds of tests. That is a particularly hard time - because you don't even know what you should and shouldn't avoid. If that's where you are, I wish you luck finding out your triggers. Knowing them really does allow you to regain control.

Thanks for your replies I really do appreciate them. My boyfriend is slowly coming around as is my Dad. As both of you noted personally they just do not understand how scary and serious this situation is with my allergies. However, recently I think I've bene letting that impact how I handle all of this and that is something I should seriously stear clear of.

I have a feeling it will take awhile for them to come around entirely however your responses made me feel less alone. It's nice to know someone out there understands how allergies impact your life on a daily basis and the physical and mental ramifications that take time to get used to yourself.

I am still at that stage were nothing is quite figured out. I am having reactions almost on a daily basis ranging from hives on my wrists to tight throat and swollen lips. Things I ate 6weeks ago I can't be in the same room as they cook might as well eat them. I also cannot go in one building at school as it sets me off and this weekend I had a reaction to my body warming up after being in the cold. I feel very rundown physically after I have a reaction which is tough to deal with as I am very independent and am in my graduating year of university. I think my family is in just a bit of shock as to how much I have been appealing for help considering usually I am the one leading the pack and helping them.

Thank you for your replies though. They mean more than you'll ever know. Thank you.

After graduation, take 3-6 months off to figure out your food allergies before jumping into the work force.

It sounds like you still need to clearly identify your food allergens and you are being attacked by unidentified allergies.

Have you started a food/symptom diary yet? This is invaluable to figuring out food allergies. Basically you write down all the different foods you ate, smelled, or came in contact with (inhalled or physical) with Date & Time. Then you write down each symptom with Date & Time. After a few days (usually at the end of the week) review the Food Diary and look for patterns.

Example of a pattern: Each time I eat a food cooked in Olive Oil I have Diarrhoea for 24 hours straight with extreme stomach pain. This reaction starts within 15 minutes of ingesting the smallest amount of Olive Oil. This symptom also comes on real fast and sometimes causes accidents. Therefor, I avoid Olive Oil like the plague.

I have been diagnosed with Food Allergies for 4 years, but I still get really upset whenever someone tries to make me eat one of my allergens or gives me one of my allergens with the intent to "disprove" my food allergy. I am also paranoid about some of my food allergens that have turned deadly like Popcorn.

Over all you get calmer about food allergies, but your wariness never completely goes away. Especially if your lifestyle forces you to go to places where your food allergens can be dangerous for you.

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