Sure, Valerie Bertinelli was blissfully happy in her six-year relationship with Tom Vitale, but she wanted more.

"I could have spent the rest of my life with Tom and not be married, but I wanted to call him 'my husband'," the Hot in Cleveland star, 50, tells PEOPLE. "I really wanted to share how I feel about Tom with the people I love."

For Valerie Bertinelli's surprise wedding on New Year's day, the actress put together an eclectic guest list that included her beloved TV families from throughout her decades-long career.

In addition to costars and new-found close buddies Jane Leeves and Wendie Mallick from Bertinelli's current hit sitcom Hot in Cleveland, the actress made sure to include Mackenzie Phillips and Pat Harrington from One Day at a Time, the long-running 70s sitcom that launched her career.

The actress, who became engaged to businessman Tom Vitale last March, isn't rushing down the aisle because she's too busy enjoying her pre-honeymoons.

"One of these days we're going to get married, but we just had an amazing three weeks in Italy, and so now we're planning our second honeymoon for us to actually get married and go again," Bertinelli, 50, told PEOPLE at Thursday's 19th Annual BAFTA Los Angeles Britannia Awards. "We're doing all the honeymoons first."

As a second time bride-to-be, Valerie Bertinelli admits she doesn't have the giddy, enthusiasm that many first-time brides have.

"For me, it feels silly. I'm 50. It's not about the wedding. I just want to have a marriage," says Bertinelli, who was engaged to her longtime boyfriend, businessman Tom Vitale, last March. "We're going to get married in Italy, just the two of us and a witness."

Speaking to PEOPLE at the Jenny Craig National Conference in San Diego, Calif., on Thursday, the actress also jokes that she's not going to look like a model from the pages of Modern Bride: "I'll be wearing black!"

They are in the midst of planning their wedding, but for Valerie Bertinelli and fiancé Tom Vitale creating the perfect ceremony isn't high on their to-do list.

"We've both had good weddings [before]," Vitale, 48, told PEOPLE Monday at the New York premiere of Bertinelli's TV Land show, Hot in Cleveland, which costars Betty White and airs Wednesday at 10 p.m. ET. "Now we want a good marriage."

So will it be a big over-the-top wedding or a more intimate affair? "It's not about the party," Vitale says. "It's about life and the relationship. It may be small. We haven't determined the size. We're going to [get married] in the States in the Fall, and it will mean the world to us."

"I don't know if a whole lot is going to change. They still really like each other," Lane says about the couple, who met in 2004 after their previous marriages ended. "They adore each other. It's not easy to mix families and they've done such a good job."

Having turned 50 only last month, Valerie Bertinelli is looking forward to another milestone: a wedding this fall to her boyfriend of six years, businessman Tom Vitale.

Vitale, 48, proposed on a romantic night in Florence during a recent trip to Italy. "We'd talked about getting married, but I was still shocked. It was sweet when he asked me, because he was so scared. I was like, 'Are you kidding me?' " the actress tells AARP The Magazine in its July/August issue.

The couple met in 2004 after their previous marriages ended. On the Italy trip, the stars aligned for a proposal. "If the time wasn't right, I wouldn't have asked," Vitale says. "We're both still a little afraid of commitment, but then we were over there, and it was like our souls were calibrated."