Saturday, September 22, 2007

Friends and "Rules"

I've been thinking a lot about "rules" lately. You know, those unspoken rules between friends,that everyone just seems to know without having to discuss? Those things you don't do to each other and the lines you don't cross. Unless you are a sucky friend of course. For example, don't date a guy your friend dated (especially if it was serious). And, don't make out with your friend's boyfriend under any circimstances (if you still want her to be your friend). Well, I've been thinking and I'm wondering who came up with these rules? How did we all figure them out? Or are they all just common sense?

Take the "I called it first" rule. On THE HILLS last week, Heidi's friend Elodie told her that she wanted to apply for the new snazzy promotion at work. So, she "called it first". Heidi decided she wanted the job too but didn't speak up at that time. She went ahead anyway and applied and got the job. Elodie was pissed. Heidi was the villain of that week's show. Why is that right? Normally, you'll never find me defending Heidi (I'm a Lauren fan), but just because Elodie "called it first" no one else can want/get the job? Puh-lease.

This also happens with matters of the heart. For example, in college, I liked this guy, let's call him "Rick". I had several classes with "Rick" and we always sat by each other. And flirted. I figured after some time flirting he would eventually ask me out. Enter my friend, let's call her "Allison". "Allison tells me one day that she is "so in love" with "Rick". She has a HUGE HUGE crush on him. I hadn't told her that I did too. But she now basically won all crushing rights for having spoken it out loud first. (Totally not fair right?) So, I let her talk about her crush and I kept quiet about mine (still flirting though. When "Allison" wasn't around that is.) Then one day, I'm having a party and "Allison" says let's invite "Rick" over so I can declare my love for him. Ok, sure. She has me call and invite him and I do. He's over in like ten minutes. "Allison" declares her love for him and he just looks stunned. He mumbles his way through a "let's be friends" speech and then looks at me and says, I thought YOU were going to ask me out. I didn't know what to say. Perfect timing for me to stand up and yell, "Yes, yes it is me! I've had a crush on you all semester!" But nope. I did nothing. How could I? "Allison" was sitting there all crushed over her rejection. So "Rick" left and I really didn't see him around much after that. There was no happy outcome that day and why? Because she "called it", or rather him, first.

Stinkin' rules.

What about you guys-- do you adhere to the "called it first" rule like I did? Or ignore it and do what you want like Heidi did?

Note: Don't shed any tears for me over missing out on "Rick"-- soon after that I met and married my wonderful husband (we just celebrated our 8th anniversary) and we have three super cuties-- so all is well in the end. :-)

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Kristina Springer

Hi and welcome to my blog! I'm the YA/MG fiction author of The Espressologist, My Fake Boyfriend is Better Than Yours, Just Your Average Princess, The Paparazzi Project, and Boy Swap. I'm also the mom to four little ones and a coffee fanatic. Find me on twitter @TinaSpringer.