That rap ain’t no joke. Much like the subject of Eminem’s “Lose Yourself,” I was a sweaty, anxious wreck before Beyonce performed at the Super Bowl XLVII Halftime Show. While yes, there’s a chance I was overheated due to some spicy queso dip, I choose to assume the hyperhidrosis was directly related to my excitement. Would Beyoncé prove all of her haters wrong? Would she reclaim her title as Best Performer on Earth after the lip syncing palooza that has plagued her for the last few weeks? Would Blue Ivy show up in a “Single Ladies” baby-costume?

All of these thoughts and more were running through my head as I tried desperately to stop eating queso dip and leftover bits of pizza crust. The situation was instense. I was at party where I knew only a few people, so I had to keep my shoulder movements, hip swivels and belting to an absolute minimum. No one wants to be the random girl gyrating on the floor during a Super Bowl halftime show. But it turned out to be OK. I was amongst other Beyoncé-devotees (Beyvoteés?) and we all were able to sing, clap and hoot & holler as a group.

And Beyonce slayed it. She gave 110% the whole time and kept America on their toes. Without further ado, my Top 5 Moments of the Super Bowl XLVII Halftime Show:

5.) Pyro Guitars: A female guitarist playing a guitar with pyro bursting out of both sides. ‘Nuff said.

2.) SO MANY BEYONCÉS: There was Beyoncé, then there were dancers that looked like Beyoncé, then there were videos of Beyoncé dancing alongside Beyoncé, then there were portions of the stage cut out to look like Beyoncé’s face, then there were OH NO, I’VE GONE CROSSEYED.

Can’t stand her… all she did was yell, dance, rely on special effects and cast wanton, ridiculous “I’m SOO sexy” looks.. The whole group of us just laughed at her the whole time…
And the Iluminati sign and asking the crowd to stretch hands toward her, which is an act of worship.. really? Get over your untalented, over rated self..