Acting or maybe he was discussing something else, and when he went to go to the microphone, the thought of what he was about to say took over his emotions. I don't see the point of the video in the OP at all

“You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time”

kidhawk wrote:Acting or maybe he was discussing something else, and when he went to go to the microphone, the thought of what he was about to say took over his emotions. I don't see the point of the video in the OP at all

its just odd, its hard to imagine joking and laughing just before discussing your childs murder a few days earlier.

kidhawk wrote:Acting or maybe he was discussing something else, and when he went to go to the microphone, the thought of what he was about to say took over his emotions. I don't see the point of the video in the OP at all

Gotta disagree. If that was my child, there is no way in hell I would be smiling, laughing, joking, etc.. This video seems very odd.

I just want to speak up here on behalf of this guy for one reason, and that is because my Dad was EXACTLY the same way. He was an inappropriate laugher. He would do it at times that made no sense and it created a massive rift between he and my mother. She thought that he felt everything was a joke, but as we learned more over the years, we found out that Dad was extremely bipolar and he ended up having to be institutionalized. Bipolar disorder causes emotions to come out completely wrong.

I can remember clearly calling him from a gas station because we had been in a serious car accident and totaled the car after getting into a pileup on the freeway. Our whole family except for him was in the car. I said, "Dad, there's been an accident, and we were in a pileup on the freeway" and then he immediately burst out laughing. I kept explaining to him what happened and he was chuckling away. His brain just didn't know how to react to this situation that scared the hell out of him and I think it just happens because of the way his brain is wired.

I'm an emotional person. I've had to give some pretty hard discussions that were things that I am so passionate about that I will just start crying. As an assistant principal I had to go through all of the data and discuss kids who had failed and how we had failed them, and I remember getting up in front of 40 teachers having to say where everything had gone wrong and we as professionals had not done our job. I have done that exact thing he did where I try to smile and take a deep breath to keep myself from starting out by just crying. I had to speak with the faculty about situations where we had dying students and the principal was away at the children's hospital with a family because a girl had cancer and she wasn't going to make it through the day (she was 7). We had a lot of others, including 2 parent suicides I had to announce. These are not even touching the tip of the iceberg of being the father of a murdered child, but I know how weird it is to get up and speak before many people about absolutely horrific situations and just having my brain go haywire. I can comfortably speak in front of hundreds of people or even thousands (and have at conferences and the like), but it took a lot of work to get to the point where I could as I have some serious emotional things that just can paralyze me or make me just go off on a weird tangent. It's obvious from the way I post I'm sure you all see.

I saw my Dad do it many times. I am sure this guy was on a complete emotional meltdown roller coaster and he is at the point where he doesn't want to live or think about the next moment, and it all hasn't hit him yet so he wants to make his statement quick and be done and not have to do it in a week when he'll be in such a dark place that he won't be able to get out from under the covers.

I may be misreading it too, but I'm giving the other side. I spoke with a psychiatrist who treats my ADD (that's his specialty) 2 nights ago about this very thing, and he had a lot of thoughts and really went in depth on some of the psychological issues and mental stuff going on with the families that are in crisis and just plain survival mode. He worked for the state for many years before going into private practice and was called in on tragic situations to help many times, and he said that the whole thing is difficult beyond words, confusing, scary, and just plain messy... and that's coming from his part of it. He was just trying to figure out what stage they were in to help them so he was just throwing everything he could at the people to help, or backing completely off and letting them let it out, or whatever. He said it is harder than hell. Imagine how it is for the person who never imagined themselves being in that situation.

We now have a name for what my father had. It's not an official medical term. We just use it in my family, and to us it means much more than it means to the general public when they use this term. We all call it "nervous laughter" and it refers to when he'd laugh inappropriately because that was his brain's reaction to massive stress. When he had his final total complete meltdown and I had to get him institutionalized for 4 months he was laughing at all kinds of things, but then he'd be sobbing a moment later. He thought he was God, etc. It was so bizarre, because he'd always been a pretty mellow guy and then he just went completely bonkers. We still don't know what triggered it all, and now that he's passed away I guess we never will.

My guess from my own experience is this father was just a guy like my dad. Went up there and had a total inappropriate to the public response, yet that is the way his brain works and then he gets more somber as he realizes that these words that are being spoken are coming from his mouth... not from somebody he's watching on TV or in a movie, and that's a strange place to be. I've been there, and it's hard.

kidhawk wrote:Acting or maybe he was discussing something else, and when he went to go to the microphone, the thought of what he was about to say took over his emotions. I don't see the point of the video in the OP at all

Gotta disagree. If that was my child, there is no way in hell I would be smiling, laughing, joking, etc.. This video seems very odd.

I won't go into a lot of detail, I think Shark has the best post on this, but we know nothing of what this guy is going through, or how he deals with this. We are taking something we know nothing about, with absolutely no context as to what was going on at that exact moment. Nervous laughter? Who knows. More importantly, who are WE to judge him for how he reacts to his child's death? It's not like he's a suspect in the crime. I find the whole idea of this video getting edited and put up the way it was and the discussion that has arisen from it totally distasteful

“You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time”

Solid response Shark/kid, I got the same feeling. It's weird, but people deal with tragedy completely differently. It's one thing if this was a Jon Benet story, but obviously this father has nothing to do with the crime.

I enjoy ruining threads by making them about personal attacks and then commenting about how personal attacks make the other person's argument invalid.

Shark/Kid very well said. If people are trying to make a point about this man, by circulating this video, I can't imagine what that point is. It's been six days since he lost his child. He's likely still in shock about the death and whatever therapy and grief counseling he has received is going to take a long, long time. He is also about to speak on camera and be televised nationally which would make most people nervous in any circumstance.

To call his behavior inappropriate or abnormal would require being in his shoes. Very, very few Americans can even come close to making that claim.

Also why isn't this in the PWR Forum? I made the mistake of looking at the comments in the YouTube video linked by the OP. I cannot say anything more while it's still in the Lounge about this topic after reading that.

I think the point they are trying to make is the same point that seems to come across in the vast majority of the internet: I am paranoid, I love the anonymity of the keyboard, I will tear others down at every opportunity, I am certain that if the cameras on me I would exhibit a star quality because I am so amazing, I must tear others down simply for the fact that I have no self esteem and doing so makes me feel important, the world is out to pull a fast one on us and it is MY job to point out perceived weakness in others.

It's a sad segment of society who behaves in this manner. Sure, be a paparazzi and go take photos of celebrities. They brought it on. This man had his child murdered. What could any of his actions or facial expressions serve? His life has been destroyed due to the actions of a psychopath. He is willing to get up and speak and remember his child lovingly, and is the first to do so. That took guts. Yet his motives must be questioned. People want information desperately, here they are given information by a man who has had his life decimated, and then he gets ripped to shreds for giving said information. What a world we live in. I am sorry, but the actions of a few out there are just cowardly, and that was proven by what happened, not just by the shooter, but by the media to a lesser extent of course, and by many "inquisitors". Basic human decency has gone out the window.

Luckily there are enough brave souls out there to effect positive change. Look no further than the principal and teachers for your examples of what it means to put yourself above others without expecting to win any awards. Sandy Hook teachers and staff were amazing in how they handled this, and I'd go teach there today if asked to.

Sadly as others have said... we remember the shooters in these cases... I will never forget the names of the "people" at Columbine, or Aurora, or Virginia Tech.... but not one of the names I remember was a victim. I have had those who committed these atrocities names burned into my head. That speaks volumes about our culture and what is seen as important. It's time to change things. Whether you agree with President Obama on things or not, his words "Certainly we can do better than this" are just good words to think of and live by, and that's not a political statement, that's a statement on basic human decency and finding the best in our fellow humans, rather than trying to bring everything down to the lowest common denominator. I am saddened and sickened by the words and actions of the few.