I was sad and in the same time anxious, first time i would see dead, what when this dead was my closest person in the world…

I knew now we were only Us…

Slowly slowly i was walking to her…i had her infront of me…looked so calm, so peacful…

She was beautiful…weird…i thought!

Like i shouldn’t worry…she will be ok.

The only thing i knew was that I will miss her, more than anything else…

I kissed her forehead and I goodbye her.

After the funeral i left back to Athens.

Stoped working from the time i went to village, coming back the lockdown of covid-19.

I used to described my life as “lonely” cause of my lifestyle…now how i suppose to describe it?! ha…thats life i think!

So…Lockdown..!More time to think…flash memories…sorrow…but insist to keep a good idea in my mind, that in some way she is here, has an eye on me an i have to be good for her!

I had certain people i admire in my life…from college to work…from friendships to love…

If i ever choose to be someone i would love to be SHE…

The young girl from village…beautiful and friendly…married and mother of three…passed war,working all day to put food on the table (grandpa was sick, died before i born), I can vividly remember her sweet perfume, (she was a coquette until her lasts)…the warm accent she spoke with…her gentle smile and the many times she told me that the man you will marry should loves you.

Traditional (every sunday in church,fasting) but in the same time so infront her generation,restless…the godfather of the family.

She was a scorpio too!

Every night in my dreamsI see you, I feel youThat is how I know you go on

Far across the distanceAnd spaces between usYou have come to show you go on

Near, far, wherever you areI believe that the heart does go onOnce more you open the doorAnd you’re here in my heartAnd my heart will go on and on

Love can touch us one timeAnd last for a lifetimeAnd never let go ’til we’re gone

Love was when I loved youOne true time I’d hold toIn my life we’ll always go on

Near, far, wherever you areI believe that the heart does go on…

Due the middle of this lockdown, i will be honest, i tried to find an escape in my work…especially throught Tantra…(it helps me in the past with break ups)…this time No.

Went throught a break up some months ago…too much chaos inside me…so i prefer to distance myself general and concentrate about my wants, my goals and my dreams when this lockdown takes over!

Easter…

Home now, almost 2 months after her loss…i think i handle it quite well.I start build a more optimistic perspective of life…relaxing and more empathy…

Putting real effort for the people i value in my life, become more compassionate and stayed in the core of my inner realm.

In the other side i cut some more and distance a lot!You don’t need a lot baby…you need the right ones!END.

They say, its a survival instict to when you loss something to try to replace it…

Maybe

I’m in the state of searching…in prepearation…with a full awareness and intention…