Lead

Six hour shift today. Quite a good work day really. Highlights would be the woman looking at the cookbook, she had an unusal accent, eurpoean, she smiled at me and said, “A lot of love has gone into this book.” There was the lady who was looking at the classics, she was one of those rare people that raditated joy, really hard to explain, but yeah… Then there was the mum with her boys that had come with their money boxes and ended up paying $29.90 in coins, mostly 10c’s and 20c’s I found it throughly amusing, there weren’t too many other customers. It took a long time for her to count it out (with me double checking). Simone looks at it and says, “That’s not going in the register” and opens up a plastic bag and sweeps the lot off the counter. Simone is cool.

This evening I had this impulsive desire to try drawing something again. Understand that I used to be fanatical about drawing and not too bad for a 13-15 year old. I am no original artist, I never was. I cannot dream up something in my head, it has to be copied from a photograph or other art. I was slighly obsessed with animals at the stage and so that’s all I ever drew, I sucked at people, still life things I was okay at, but found them boring.

The story behind the whole drawing thing was that one day when I was about 12, I had a minor identity crisis over not being good at anything specific, so I ended up determining to pick something and so get good at it. I somehow ended up pouring a lot of effort in to teaching myself how to draw – must have come up with something vaguely decent near the beginning. A little pride pushes you a long way.

Looking back now, it doesn’t look all that fantastic, but I liked it at the time.

So here is a rare preview of some really old stuff from the lot I could find. Some of the contrast is a bit bad.

So really, the last time I’ve drawn anything was back in 2002 (latest) in Yr.10 art.

Of all things I could have tried, I picked a photo of a person (from the Humanity photo book I got for Christmas)… I don’t think I’ve ever really drawn a half decent person, animals are a billion times easier. So this was this evenings attempt, I sat on the verandah with the dog being a pain and remembered how painstakingly annoying it is for a perfectionst to draw. I am not throughly disgusted, but I think I’ll leave the drawing to those with the proper capability and stick to writing. Its a far easier medium.

Tomorrow shall be an interesting day. I do not know if I am really looking forward to it. All three things that I am doing could be ‘high stress’ activities if I let them. Not that a driving lesson really clarifies. But a potentially interesting/difficult conversation has to happen and I have to stop pretending I’m not doing the whole uni thing and go to an info session.

I am looking forward actually to uni. I really think I need the change of scenery. If I had my way, I’d move out of home right now. Part of me is slightly desperate to just go away somewhere by myself for a while. Which reminds me, I’ve opted out of family holiday (3 days) at the end of Jan, that shall be very good.

Avoiding or just changing the hundrum of life is appealing at the moment to the extremely small risk taking section of my brain.

God is oddly very real to me at the moment. It’s like I’ve remembered who he is or I just need him more.