Conversations With Joshua

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Joshua's assignment (among others, but this one begged to be shared) was to write five sentences using plural nouns. The sentences were the fill in the blank type so I will capitalize the words he chose for his sentences.

1. You can see many JEDI on the farm. 2. The ALIENS take good care of them. 3. The STARS are clucking loudly in the barn. 4. In the fields you will see VAMPIRES.5. Two SPIDERS were following a sheep.

I can only imagine what a public school teacher would have said about these sentences. I should count myself lucky he didn't write his answers in Hut...

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

We went on a field trip with our homeschool group to a pizza parlor. The kids got to make their own pizzas and tour the kitchens. It was very cool. My sweet husband had the day off and had gone with us. He, unfortunately, got called in to work. Both of us thought it was a quick fix. he'd be gone an hour and back again for dessert. Nope. 2 hours later, my friend offered us a ride home. I eagerly accepted wanting to give her the opportunity to show off her new minivan that she is so proud of anyhow. =) She has an adorable daughter who is about 4 now. This child has the most excellent vocabulary I have ever seen on someone so young. Joshua sat next to her, and right behind my friend and I. The two of them were chattering at each other and then I hear....CLICKS and GIBBERISH!! "JOSHUA DAVID!" I yell over my shoulder, "Don't you DARE teach that child Genosian!" "Aw, Mom...just a little bit of Hut maybe?""No, You will NOT teach anyone any alien languages!" and there was a deep, sad sigh from behind us. My friend laughed and laughed. Hmph. Wouldn't have been so funny if her Lilbird had been speaking Hut or Genosian for the next month! hehe

Joshua runs into the living room from Sissy's bedroom, where they had both been chatting and playing. "Mama!" he calls as he enters the living room. "What do you do when you get slobber in your mouth?" he dances around as he asks. Agitated much, son? "It was YOUR slobber, right?" Now you knew I had to ask. He nods. "Sissy threw me out of her room for swallowing my own spit!"Umm...huh? Guess we are ALL grounded from Sissy's room then.

Would it have somehow been less gross if he'd spit it out in her bedroom floor? lol So yes, I had to explain to him that saliva was supposed to be swallowed...and then yes, I did clarify that YOU were supposed to swallow only YOUR saliva.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

We went to prepare dinner last night only to discover that the meat was frozen so we were going to have to run out and grab some dinner. After a brief discussion of our refrigerator's need to randomly freeze the meat drawer, we loaded the kids in the car and left. Joshua is reading the children's chapter book adaptation of Star Wars: The Clone Wars animated movie. Periodically he spells a word out loud that he is struggling with and I tell him what it is. So we are riding in the car and suddenly he says, "Wow, I guess Jabba the Hut can't speak English!" I laughed, thinking that the character, Jabba the Hut, in his book must have said a word that he couldn't sound out. "Here, Honey, hand Mama your book and I will help you with what Jabba is saying."He giggled and handed me the book, both of us careful to not lose the page. So I began scanning the page for Jabba's side of the conversation. Found it easily enough and began reading. "AHHH...WOWOGA SLEEMO MAKA PEEDUNKEEMUFKIN," Jabba replied. Uh, what?? Oh geez, he's speaking HUT, his native language. "Joshua, this is GIBBERISH!" I exclaimed. "He's speaking in Hut, you are't supposed to be able to read it, honey!" and I handed his book back to him across the back of the seat. Daddy laughed at me. "He *did* tell you that Jabba couldn't speak English," Daddy said to me with a chuckle. Yes. Yes, he did.

So then from the backseat comes Joshua's little voice. "Ahhh...wow...wowooo...wowoga. Wowga sleee...hmmm...sleem. Ahhh wowga sleemo! Ahh wowga sleemo maka!!" My son was excitedly reading Hut. I looked at my husband and rolled my eyes. He laughed. Then Joshua shut his book and began talking to his sister....in what sounded suspiciously like fluent HUT. She answered him...also in what sounded like fluent Hut. My husband burst out laughing. He found the children talking to each other in (what I hope was faux) Hut hysterical. Evil man.

So I turned my attention to one of the local businesses we were passing and began a conversation with my husband in ordinary redneck, English about the recent demise of some small businesses. I realized that the sounds in the back seat had changed, that there was more clicking noises, and attempted to tuned it out thinking that Joshua was simply, well, making noises..when a thought occurred to me.

"I just got a mental video," I laughed to my husband. "Oh, what's that?" he asked. "Yet another reason why our children could never go to public school. I can hear the phone call now...Mrs. S...please come and get Joshua, he is being suspended, AGAIN. Why? Oh because he has decided to speak gibberish today..oh, my mistake, to speak HUT today and refuses to converse in English. Which I could have overlooked, except that he taught it to the ENTIRE CLASS, and now NONE Of them will speak to me in anything but HUT. So come and get him!!" We both laughed.

From the back seat came more clicks and noises, then Joshua giggled. "Mama," he said with obvious glee, "I'm not even TALKING Hut anymore...I am talking in Jenosian. They are bugish like creatures that live on a desert planet. They have wings!" Then he turned to his sister and spoke in gibberish and clicks. She smiled at him and responded in gibberish and clicks. Then my husband, the traitor, looked back at them both and SPOKE IN PERFECT GIBBERISH AND CLICKS!! To which, of course they responded.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

So Joshua comes flying through the living room, chokes dramatically and clutches the air, makes rattling noises and falls to the ground at the entrance to the hall.

Daddy: "Joshua, what in the heck are you doing?!"Joshua: "Being dead...argllll uh "Daddy: "Well just make your self UNdead this minute and get in there and pick up your bedroom!"

So Joshua rises from the floor, slooowly raises his arms until they are outstretched in front of him, widens his eyes and tilts his head to one side. He shambles down the hall groaning, "Brains! Errrrr Aaarrrrg brains! Errrghhh, toys and brains!" and enters his bedroom, never once slipping out of character.

I looked at Daddy and opened my mouth to speak. He held up one hand and shaking his head, sighed and said, "I know, I know, he did *exactly* what I told him to do!"

Friday, August 15, 2008

Tonight after dinner we went to visit one of our favorite places, the bookstore. Joshua grabbed a couple of Spiderman comics to read while we drank some overpriced coffee and perused magazines. He got very excited to discover that one of the comics had members of the Greek Pantheon in the story including Cerberus. Cerberus, the three headed dog from the Greek Underworld was also featured in the Time Warp Trio that Joshua is currently reading. He thinks that having a Cerberus puppy would ROCK. Naturally. =P

So later, as we gathered up what books we intended to purchase and returned the others to the shelves, Joshua begged and begged Daddy for those comics. Daddy said that Joshua was already getting Magic Tree House's Hour of the Olympics and one book was quite enough. Out came the lip. Joshua's whole little boy body sagged in pout. His little blonde head drooped, his arms hung listlessly by his sides. He plodded ahead of us in defeat."But, Daddy, they took the Underworld dogs to a DOG SHOW!" he whined, while trying not to, under his breath..."Cerberus...at a dog show...I love Cerberus," and he sighed heavily. I looked at his Daddy and laughed as Daddy snuck one of the comics into our to be purchased book pile. I leaned over and whispered to my husband, "YOUR son is whining about CERBERUS, three headed protector of the Greek Underworld." I got a glare as he determinedly went to pay for our books, including the comic with Cerberus and Orthus at the dog show.

Then we began the half hour drive home. Joshua looked through the bag and discovered his surprise with unrestrained joy. So we had a delighted Joshua for the ride home.

Joshua: "Look Sissy, stars! Let's wish on a star!"Sissy: "I wish Joshua would be quiet on the way home."Joshua: "No, no if you say it out loud it won't come true!"Sissy, louder: "I WISH JOSHUA WOULD BE QUIET ON THE WAY HOME!"Joshua: "No, you aren't doing it right!" He dropped his voice to a whisper..."You have to be sure to talk quietly so no one can hear you, like this, see?"Sissy: "Joshua. I can still hear you."

Joshua wrinkles his nose and looks up at the stars then closes his eyes and wishes for something. Then his eyes pop open and he leans towards his sister. Joshua, excitedly: "Guess what, Sissy! I just wished you had super powers!"Sissy sighs wryly, "Great, thanks, now I WON'T get super powers."Joshua laughs and goes back to wishing. Then his eyes pop open again excitedly. Joshua: "Mama! Guess what I wished for you! Guess!" He bounces in the backseat.Sissy smacks him lightly on the leg, "If you tell, it won't come TRUE!" she admonishes. "I'm not gonna TELL," he responds with glee, "I am gonna make her GUESS."Daddy and I try not to laugh in the front seat. I turn my head towards him and say, "I don't want to guess and ruin your wish, honey."He sighs. He fidgets. He gazes out the car window at the stars. He fidgets some more. Then he says, "Well, okay, but when you wake up in the morning, if you feel...you know funny...or different somehow...will you tell me?"