Being Positive-Aggressive

A lot of my friends consider me to be the “debbie-downer” of the group. It’s not that I deliberately want to rain on anyone’s parade but I just like being realistic to manage expectations. However, if there’s one thing I’ve learned as of late, it’s that “positivity” is quite important–or at least, a balance of emotions (don’t believe me? Check out Pixar’s latest film: Inside Out).

Coincidentally, a lot of people also have this notion that I’m “passive-aggressive.” Which I may have been, admittedly… eons ago (and maybe when I don’t like something/someone). But I’ve made a conscious change in myself and it’s to turn “passive-aggressiveness” into “positive-aggressiveness” (and yes, I coined that term and you can quote me on that).

I think that different people channel “positivity” in different ways. Some people are just born with that highly optimistic outlook in life, while some find positivity in other things like food (I do this), relationships, friendships, etc. I happen to channel my positivity with the way I look aka my outfits.

So why is Fashion so important in projecting positivity?

Here’s why (this may be partially satirical):

Despite all the toil and hardships you encounter in any situation, at least you’re putting your best face forward literally. So when the going gets tough and you just have to sob your way through a situation, at least you’re looking the bomb while doing so.

Sometimes, you have to fake being happy and you have to start by dressing the part. Yes, it sounds slightly hypocritical to pretend to feel something you don’t, but when you allow yourself tobelieve in something (and so as long as it’s not hurting anyone) then you’ll most likely imbibe it.

It also shows people you’re a trouper–the fact is, when you’re sad, people around you will know. But when you take the time to look put-together, they’ll respect you for taking the time to look good. It’s not being superficial at all, it’s basically just showing people that a bad time in your life can’t control your whole disposition and it’s not supposed to affect your rapport with others.

It proves to be a welcome distraction because thinking about what looks cute with a pair of boyfriend jeans will take your mind off (at least for around 10 – 15 minutes) of your worries. It might seem shallow but hey, I find that any distraction is better than being left alone with your own thoughts in times of crises.

Don’t like being ambushed and interviewed about your hardship? Then looking good will give you the facade of being in a good place. People may know but they most likely won’t ask because chances are, they think you’re already dealing with it because you’ve mustered the energy to look good.

Of course, how we show our “sadness” varies as well, if you don’t feel like dressing up then don’t. In fact, replace “fashion” and other related synonyms with your passion and it should work the same. I think dwelling on your passion when you think your world is crumbling down, is practically similar to having your own security blanket. Whatever empowers you to move forward that day should be something you hold on to on a pedestal so you’ll have your own “happy place.”

I can’t stress enough the need for “positivity”, really. When all things are awry, I hold on to positivity as a beacon of hope. It’s what calms me and it’s what fuels me to get past a certain situation. The only thing I regret is not knowing about it sooner.

That said, happy rest of the week! Here’s an outfit I wore to the mall recently.

Being Positive-Aggressive was last modified: August 23rd, 2015 by Dominique Tiu