10. "Who's got the next round?"
(I haven't bought a round in almost 3 years, but I am an expert at diverting attention.)
and more....

1. "Excuse Me." (male to male)
(Get the hell out of the way.)

2. "Excuse Me." (male to female)
(I am going to grope you now.)

3. "Excuse Me." (female to male)
(Don't even think about groping me, just get the hell out of the way.)

4. "Excuse Me." (female to female)
(Move your fat ass. Who do you think you are anyway? You are not all that, missy, and don't think for one minute that you are. And get your eyes off of my man, or I'll slap you like the slut you are.)

5. "What do you have on tap?"
(What's cheap?)

6. "Can I have a white Russian?" (male)
(I'm *really* gay.)

7. "Can I have a white Russian?" (female)
(I'm *really* easy.)

8. "That person looks really familiar."
(Did I sleep with him/her?)

9. Can I just get a glass of water?" (female)
(I'm annoying, but cute enough to get away with this.) ( I know nothing about this...Promise! )

10. I don't have my ID on me." (female)
(I'm 16.)

11. "I don't have my ID on me." (male)
(I don't have a license since I got pulled over and blew a 0.4 after my last visit here)

"I would be most content if my children grew up to be the kind of people who think decorating consists mostly of building enough bookshelves." — Anna Quindlen

I don't want that much organization in my life..I don't want other people thinking for me...- Jimmy Buffett -

Seeing as how I sometimes like wine and other 'sissy' drinks I guess its a good thing Im big enouph and ugly enouph that no one thinks or at least says anything about it, or maybe its just that the guys figure if I am they dont want to take the chance I may think they're cute.

Do what thy manhood bids thee do, from none but self expect aplause, he noblest lives and noblest dies who makes and keeps his self made laws....

Seeing as how I sometimes like wine and other 'sissy' drinks I guess its a good thing Im big enouph and ugly enouph that no one thinks or at least says anything about it, or maybe its just that the guys figure if I am they dont want to take the chance I may think they're cute.

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I still can't believe you're only 31. I didn't think it was possible for somebody to get that ugly in only 31 years.