Saturday, January 29, 2011

This one is for the ladies out there who I occasionally like to dispense courting/dating advice to. However, unlike advice you find in Cosmo or Oprah, my advice actually works.

When it comes to your man making a decision (of things that are NOT vital in nature or vital to your relationship) you have five options in how you're going to respond or react to his decision;

SupportIndifferenceNagComplainorTantrum

Of these five options, only two are acceptable, support and indifference.

Support is preferable in that your man has already made up his mind and is going to take action regardless of whether you agree with him or not. And I want you to understand that statement

- he has already made up his mind and is going to take action regardless

This is what real men do. And if you want a real man, and not some compliant beta type who always asks, "well what do you want dear????," then you have to understand that you are not going to always agree with him 100%, and therefore whether you agree with him or not, he's going to do it. Therefore, you may as well support him.

The man (or at least real men) will be thankful for your support and love you that much more knowing you condone his actions and will therefore brag to his friends, "My god, I have the most supportive wife/girlfriend. She BOUGHT ME ammo for our hunting trip!"

Indifference is also acceptable. This is where your man says, "I'm going to play poker with the guys and smoke cigars." And you, completely indifferent, if not thankful you'll get him out of the house for a couple hours dismiss him nonchalantly saying, "Yeah, yeah, go, have fun."

Then we get into the unacceptable responses.

Nagging - NOT ACCEPTABLE. Again, going back to the premise he is going to carry out his mission regardless, all nagging achieves is raising his blood pressure. It's not even that you are contesting or questioning his decision, as much as you are interrogating him about all the nuances and details that are irrelevant. Not to mention, the more you nag him about it, the more he is delayed from finishing his mission. This only agitates men and does not help you on account he will now entertain thoughts of greener, non-nagging pastures.

Complaining - Again, complaining is acceptable when you are talking about decisions of importance. For example do you want children? Where should you live? But for decisions of not-importance complaining not only has the annoying benefits of nagging, but you now have guilt added to it. The man now has to worry and wonder (while he's carrying out his mission because he was going to carrying it out regardless) as to whether "going fishing with the guys" is angering you and now damaging the relationship. And while he's working the extra hours at work to make ends meet, he now gets the unnecessary and unneeded stress of having to worry about his home/social life. Congratulations! You've now made him plan his next vacation to Greener Pastures!

Tantrum - Your beloved Captain hasn't ran into this one in about 4 or 5 years on account it really is more of a 20 something phenomenon, but he has ran into the occasional 30 something woman that still resorts to this unacceptable response. Tantrum is where you morph into a child and go psychotic. This happens. You Captain remembers starkly having an ex girlfriend throw a tantrum on I-35 in downtown Minneapolis so violent, he had to threaten her that he'd dump her out on the side of the rush hour interstate. Another ex threw one while in the Lowry tunnel on I-94 (what is it with women throwing tantrums on the interstate???). Why were they throwing tantrums? The first one because I had to cancel a date that night so I could work to put food on the table. The second one because I failed to purchase her a soda when we filled up for gas.

Obviously tantrum is not only not acceptable, but understand ladies, it is so vile that you have not upshot at all. The man now will be re-enforced to carry out his mission simply to annoy you. Also, in displaying this drama queen behavior, any real man will dump your psychotic ass and have purchased a condo in Greener Pastures.

Thankfully I've aged to the point this is no longer a semi-annual event, but I mention it for the benefit of the younger 20 somethings out there who through poor parental upbringing, reading too many Cosmo magazines or watching too many movies have been led to believe this is somehow acceptable behavior.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

You see, the primary reason why, despite what your professors will tell you, is that the entire profession, the entire industry, you job can be replaced by a CD or an MP3 player.

If you don't believe me, ask how many of the music professors are music therapists? And what few are actually employed in that field, ask them where they make most of their money. That's right, off of suckers like you thinking you're going to get paid to play music!

It's the old saying,

"When there's a gold rush, don't pan for gold. Sell gold pans."

So kids, listen to your Old Uncle Cappy. He's trying to help you here and make sure you don't impoverish yourself. He isn't trying to be mean. DON'T MAJOR IN MUSIC THERAPY!

And in the Captain's world that means it's time to start the largest quarter of dance classes-Winter Quarter. A full month has passed. People have received their community ed brochures in the mail. Finally get around to signing up for a class. And BOOM! Off we go for a solid 6 months of teaching dance with the goal of taking a 2 month vacation out west with my motorcycle.

Of course something that continually catches me off-guard is the severe lack of men in the dance classes. The reason why I'm caught off guard is because during January I try to take a vacation, finish invoicing for the previous year, and finish my taxes. And before I know it, BOOM! Classes are starting and I'm starting to get attendance sheets which shows I need to scramble and find 18 extra men for the 18 surplus women I have in my class in 3 hours.

This sets into action a desperate bid on my part to find men. And how do you suppose men respond to me inquiring about their interest in being a pinch hitter in a dance class overflowing with women?

Do they say, "Wow, 18 extra women! COUNT ME IN!"

Do they say, "Dude! Yeah, I'm all over it if there's extra girls!"

or do they say, "Yeah, sure, I'm up for learning something new!"

Hell no.

It's more like,

"WHAT!???? A DANCE class? Are you CRAZY!? There's no way I'm dancing!!!!"

"ARE YOU INSANE!!??? THERE'S NO WAY IN HELL I'M DANCING!!!"

Which has led me to a conclusion.

Men are cowards.

Oh, they'll climb the peak of Mount Everest.

And they'll walk to the South Pole.

They'll land on the moon.

And they'll charge the beaches of Normandy under murderous fire from the nazis.

But when it comes time to spend a FREAKING hour with a girl and move their feet according to a beat or pattern, oh no! That's asking TOO much! That's waaaaaay more daunting that walking through a mine field while getting shelled during Operation Torch.

I often sit here in this little world of mine and ask myself how I compare to my American male peers. And as much as I would like to think that I am just an average guy of average build and strength, I realize that I am not so much a "super man" as much as I am simply an old school man, which despite my physicality, makes me supremely more alpha than my modern day American beta male counterparts. I have this somehow "god like power" to have the courage to (GASP!) ASK A FREAKING GIRL TO DANCE which most men don't. And somehow that just doesn't sit right with me. I've never faced battle. I've on occasion have faced death. But on the grand scheme of things, dancing with girls (even when I was a rookie) just plain didn't seem that damn threatening.

This is me smoking a cuban at 9 in the morning. It was after an early morning swim in the Gulf. Notice the sincere lack of contributing to GDP. Also notice the consumption of a non-US good whilst enjoying the services of a non-US country. I call this my "Enjoying the Decline" face.

This is in Chichen Itza, one of the largest Mayan archeological finds. I have always wanted to go there since I was a kid. The purpose for my pose is to blend in with the skulls carved into rock behind. They were all very smiling.This is a building.

This is the main pyramid in Chichen Itza. I thought you could climb it, but apparently it is frowned upon by the local federales. No touchy.

As with all vacations your Captain takes, it was more adventure and exploration than lying around a beach doing nothing. However, if you do go to the Yucatan peninsula, I strongly advise NOT going to Chichen Itza on that sad account it takes;

1. 3 hours to get there because the Mexicans drive real slow.

2. When you get there they have unfortunately allowed the local vendors to sell all their trinkets and crap completely ruining the experience for you. And you might say, "wow, how can only a few vendors ruin such a grand experience." NO, trust me, there are literally hundreds of them harassing you the entire time. Imagine Glacier National Park or Yellowstone with hundreds of people constantly hounding you to buy a shirt no matter where you went or what mountain you'd climb.

But better than all that what I really liked is the fact I have NEVER had to "work" at keeping an M-1 lit. You light it once, you puff on it at your leisure and you can actually ENJOY the damn thing, rather than feel like you're trying to siphon gas or give mouth to mouth. The drag is perfect and once lit, it burns AMAZINGLY even.

Meanwhile, I just spent the better part of an hour on the beaches of the Gulf of Mexico working harder than I ever did before just to keep a damn Cuban Cohiba lit. The taste was good, don't get me wrong. But I don't want to have my moonlit night ruined huffing and puffing away at a cigar that just won't obey (and paid $13 for it!).

So do yourselves a favor. Instead of going with a has-been, just go here and order yourself some damn fine cigars. You want the-

Notice in the chart housing starts usually recover immediately, bottoming out and immediately recovering resulting in a very V shape recovery. However, (despite all the stimulus money and low interest rates and first time home buyer credits) housing starts remain stubbornly low this time around, matter of fact, staying quite low and flat for pushing three years;

So, my fine fellow economists, what do you suppose this means for unemployment?

I know the answer is simple, but keep in mind those brilliant economic geniuses at the Fed and Obama's economic team can't figure this out. Which makes you essentially all tippy top super official professional economists!

Monday, January 17, 2011

I knew Sweden was known for being one of the more advanced countries when it came to getting women into positions of power, but I had no idea how far and invasive the concept of "gender neutrality" has permeated the psyche over there. And I'm not talking about something legitimate like a "pay gap." I'm talking about things where people are complaining about playgrounds being sexist and girls being denied the right to wear pretty clothes when they're in gymnastics class because that would define gender.

I would only add to this one aspect nobody has thought of in the credentialism world;

Inbreeding.

In hiring the "perfect" candidates all the time, you hire essentially the genetically same, obedient, automotons you always do. This creates a problem in that like any organic creature, too much of the same type leaves them susceptible to disease, threats, predators or any change in their environment.

While applicable in terms of biological evolution and survival of the fittest, in having psychologically homogeneous employees (of a meek, obedient type), the corporate entity as a whole is;

1. Unable to identify external threats (or opportunities).2. UnWILLING to inform superiors about threats or opportunities (as rocking the boat ist VERBOTEN!)3. Too established in their corporate culture to be nimble enough to adapt quickly enough to a changing environment in order to survive.

Consider it this way. In today's American economy do we need another conformist, mass produced, obedient MBA, or Captain Jack Sparrow?

Of course we need revolutionary leaders like Captain Jack, but could you imagine HR EVER letting in somebody like that to their pristine, sterile corporate worlds?

Why is it then journalists and media types are so prone to become crusaders?

Because they are predisposed to it. The type of person who goes and majors in journalism commits the "First Sin of Crusaderism" by majoring in something that doesn't take a lot of effort, doesn't really produce anything of value, yet expects society still provide them a living has a dishonest personality. They don't care about anything as noble as reporting the truth and being the fourth branch of government. They care only of themselves and shills whatever one political group or another tells them to go.

Monday, January 10, 2011

I know this sounds impossibly optimistic of me, but when I was hastily putting together the Worthless Degree seminar, I saw a TON of YouTube videos on younger folk who are VERY angry about their degrees and how they just got scammed out of thousands of dollars. And although young and completely ignorant enough to be taken in by the "Hope and Change and Unicorns" bit, what they are experiencing is that ultimate crushing collapse that "has to happen" before people wake up and realize the reality of the situation we're in.

Conservatives and capitalists are quite familiar with this "collapse-requirement" simply because when we've argued with liberals and leftists in the past, especially the younger ones, it's impossible to reason with them. Facts and data don't even phase them. And what you realize in a very short time is that NOTHING you say will convince them otherwise and only a crushing, collapse of their well-being and reality will get them to start to think they may be wrong.

I believe that collapse is here.

Not that the entire US economy is collapsing and we'll all be Mad Maxing it next week, but in terms of their lives and perspectives and ESPECIALLY their futures, the youth cannot view it as anything but a collapse. And the culprit?

The left's most powerful institution;

Education.

Understand education is how the left survives. Shamelessly by targeting young, ignorant and uneducated children and brainwashing them into believing in socialism. But now with the recession continuing on into Obama's 3rd year and no turn around or promises coming true or being delivered upon, the youth I believe will turn against the left faster than most of us could hope.

Why?

The one thing the youth had that we didn't have as youth;

The Internet.

It's not like you can't look up tax rates. It's not like you can't look up budgets. It's not like you can't look up any factual data out there and (if you are intellectually driven to do so) find out the truth.

And it is these two things that is going to turn arguably the left's most reliable voting bloc against them.

Just watch some of the videos below and you'll see what I'm talking about;

Sunday, January 09, 2011

That is an outstanding question. And hopefully if you've searched it on the internet, you landed here.

In short, most of you youth have been lied to about education. The lies are many and varied, but the key ones are;

1. Any education is good education (ie-it doesn't matter what you major in)2. Follow your heart, the money will follow (or some variant thereof)3. Employers just want to see that you can get a degree. What you do with it afterwards, is up to you.4. Education is a great investment5. You should go to grad school

Behind this is a genuine conspiracy to separate you from your tuition money as quickly as possible as generations of worthless-degreed people before you try to recoup the money they pissed away on worthless degrees via the educational system.

But all hope is not lost. YOu are probably 22 or 23 and think your life is over, but in reality since every school requires so many damn "pre-requisites" you've only wasted half your education.

However, before you return to college or trade school, I would strongly recommend dropping the money ($5 on Kindle, $12.95 for the paperback) on the book "Worthless."

This book was specifically written for young people like you in mind. Kids who either had no guidance in terms of choosing a major or kids who were misled into forfeiting $50,000 and 4 years of their youth on some worthless degree.

Saturday, January 08, 2011

So I get an e-mail from my step father (which is a miracle unto itself because my step-dad LITERALLY just got a computer 3 years ago and a freaking answering machine 5 years ago, but has yet to buy himself a freaking CELL PHONE! but this is all an aside).

So he asks me

"I was stationed in Germany and one of my favorite songs was from Louie Armstrong. It was played back in 1959. I don't remember the lyrics and I can't remember the song, but can you find it for me?"

I do the typity type in the ole Bing and find a group of songs from an album Ole Sachtamo created in BELGIUM in 1959.

We find out the song is title "Ole Sachtmo's Lullaby"

So why am I writing this?

So you schmoes appreciate my step dad! The only REAL purpose of this post is to honor my ole stepfather AND for two things.

1. He WILLINGLY did 4 tours in Vietnam and retired as a senior master sergeant (which now explains to all of you why I am the way I am on account I had a reverend for a father and a drill sergeant for a step father). Regardless, Americans owe him a pound of thanks and gratitude.

2. At a very young age (8 I estimate) he instilled in me the seed of independent thought. He was pointing out some program at some college where they provided free child care for single moms whilst the moms went and pursued their degrees in whatever worthless pursuits they were pursuing. He said and I distinctly remember;

"Isn't that nice they pay for the child care of all those mothers?"

I said in a very 8 year old innocent way, "yes, it is!"

"I wonder who pays for that all." he said.

I said, "I don't know. Who!?"

He said, "Oh, you do kid. You do!"

And (I'm being serious here) that planted the seeds of independent thought in me to inevitably question the reality and logic of everything I heard ever since and made me who I am today (in terms of my political and ideological economic thought). In short he is responsible for bringing you the monster known as Cappy Cap.

For you see, the Ole Sergeant Major certainly did more than his fair share fighting commies and Charlie back in Vietnam. And the Ole Sergeant Major fought valiantly for the freedom of the Southern Vietnamese not to mention the rest of the world from the greatest evil to plague this planet. But I often wonder if he realizes the old adage;

"The Pen is Mightier Than the Sword"

I often wonder with the estimated 50,000 weekly readers I have here if he realizes he did more to advance the causes of liberty, freedom and independence than he might have realized he would back when he dispensed his fatherly wisdom in 1984. I do often wonder if he really truly genuinely realizes just how much he achieved by being man enough to instill independent thought upon a young child and what would happen with the technology of the internet.

Regardless, play the youtube video above and appreciate what the ole Sergeant Major did for all of us.

Friday, January 07, 2011

Thursday, January 06, 2011

I cannot emphasis enough how important this seminar is. Not so much for us readers of the Capposphere, but more importantly for the youth that are about to embark on a college path.

Ideally, this video will be watched, IN ITS ENTIRETY by kids from the ages of roughly 13-18 BEFORE they decide what they want to go to college for. The left are masters at indoctrinating the youth, this is simply a countermeasure to give the poor youth of this country a dose of reality and GENUINE hope of a future productive career and life. Not general pleasantries about them all being winners and somehow good thoughts and going green is going to get them jobs that will put food on the table.

Regardless, here's the first video and subsequent links below. Please force any children, nieces, nephews, etc., to watch this on account it really is about the best thing you can do for them;

Sunday, January 02, 2011

So twas the night before Christmas and whilst Natasha was away visiting her folks, your Captain had a much needed Cappy-Cap-Time which consisted of a bottle o' Rumpleminze, Borderlands for the 360 and a roaring fire to heat up his little man cave. Nobody was around. It was all 100% Cappy Time. Just me, some strong booze, an awesome video game, and my man cave and a nice long night of slumber.

The routine I've perfected over the years as a bachelor maximizes one's waking hours wherein I do the majority of the physical labor during the day and then lesser-physically demanding activities at night, scaling it down to activities that barely require any physical effort. So I usually work out in the morning (which for me is noon-1PM), take class, teach a class, go dance and then retire at home. The last two stages of this routine however is;

Stage T-1 - Play video gamesStage T - Watch TVLiftoff - Sleepy bye

My favorite show is Hogans heroes and so what I do when I can no longer play video games effectively is I fire up the laptop, go to TV Land and watch old episodes of Hogan's Heroes and drift off to sleep.

Of course this is just more empirical proof that America is in decline when the free market prefers "Housewives of Milwaukee" over "Hogan's Heroes." Sadly, what irks me most about this, is it impairs my ability to enjoy the decline!