Did we say Katy Perry? We meant Katy-Patra.

After teasing us with a sneak peek last week, Katy Perry has released her music video for "Dark Horse" and it's as weird and wonderful as you'd expect. It takes place in "Memphis, Egypt a crazy long time ago," and, if you'll recall from the first look, it's about a magical queen. That queen is, of course, Katy Perry. But there's more: "Every eclipse, kings would travel from Brooklyn to Babylon to win her heart," the trailer teased. "If she fell in love, you'd be top dawg. If she didn't, her wrath would leave you whimpering. Her name was Katy-Patra."

Turns outs she wasn't kidding about the whole whimpering thing. We see her transform one man into a puppy; less lucky is the dude turned to a pile of ash. There's also the unfortunate guy who attempts to woo her with platters of cupcakes and goblets of Flamin' Hot Cheetos. This, apparently, is not the way to Katy-Patra's heart. (We enthusiastically disagree, but perhaps ancient queens aren't into the same things we are.)

Even if the premise is a little wacky, the spectacular costumes more than make up for it. Katy's never one to shy away from a big style moment, but this video's basically one big fashion show, between the fancily-embellished dresses, gemstone-dotted headpieces, and enough gold gowns to make an Oscar red carpet jealous. There's also a truly impressive number of wigs involved, including—but not limited to—a silver bob, metallic braids, and some seeeeriously stylish studded bangs (which you'll want immediately).