1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends...
Stupid Question: Hey, what are you doing here?
Stupid Answer: Don't u know, I sell tickets in black over here.

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question: Sorry, did that hurt?
Stupid Answer: No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.....why don't you try again.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question: Why, why him, of all people.
Stupid Answer: Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question: Is the "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good??
Stupid Answer: No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally also spit in it.

5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years...
Stupid Question: Question: Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Stupid Answer: Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.

6. On some occasion: When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question: Is the guy you're marrying good?
Stupid Answer: No, he's a miserable wife-beating insensitive lout...it's just the money.

7. At night: When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question: Sorry. were you sleeping?
Stupid Answer: No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping.... you dumb witted moron.

8. After some time: When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question: Hey have you had a haircut?
Stupid Answer: No, its autumn and I'm shedding......

9. At the dentist: When he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question: Tell me if it hurts?
Stupid Answer: No it won?t. It will just bleed.

10. Someone sees you: You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...
Stupid Question: Oh, so you smoke.
Stupid Answer: Gosh, it's a miracle ............ it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!