Language is a complex modern annoyance that takes a complete **** to make, But if you are not a dork in your basement making your own version klingon who loves making future people suffer learning the language no worries. This list of requirements will help you.
List of Requirements:

Irritating pronunciations.

Dumb and arrogant rules that are constantly contradicted by other rules.

Stupid conjugations.

Verbs, nouns, adverbs, adjectives, etc.

Stupid followers.

Slang terms.

The Name:

The name represents your language, make it good don't be a major douche and call it something like Klingon. The language name must not have a complex and anal way to say it. The name is better if your name (the creator of the language) is not in it, if you do that you are a cock*** bragger. It is a Language don't take it too seriously (like we already aren't by creating this Uncyclopedia Page). Make it unique and not stupid, for example Americanese may sound cool, but you will get an email saying you are a massive idiot. "The reason?" you may ask, the name is more "cool" if it is unique by not being named after anything else(especially your name!).

"Will my Language become one of the Big Boy Languages?"

No. Lets be honest you are more likely to be hit by lightning three times in a row. Your language might be said only by a certain group of people though. For example Klingon is only said by massive douche-bag geeks.

The Alphabet:

The Alphabet of any language is confusing, misleading and most of the time a bit excessive.For Example a letter representing the sound Che may be okay for Spanish, but then again Spanish is one of the most anal and excessive languages out there. Yes it may be cool to have 27 f***ing letters to mess around being a dumb*ss talking in your not so secret language in the back of a movie theater, but it is a bit excessive (among other things).The alphabet must also not be like the Chinese language unless you would like to design 200,000 symbols for every word ever invented (Which is a bit sad due to you probably missing your Star Trek Klingon meeting of the the intergalactic Society of dumbf**ks). The alphabet of any language is a touch-y subject to explain. All that is definite about an Alphabet is that is the backbone of your language.