Monthly Archives: December 2013

You know you are getting older when the year disappears faster than Miley Cyrus’s underwear. Seriously I do not know how time moved so fast between sitting on Jen’s couch on New Year’s Eve to driving to Florida for Thanksgiving. Let alone how fast Jolly St. Nick sent his free-loading elf to visit.But the end is here, today. The end of 2013 when we worry about what the heck 2014 will bring. Cause that’s how I roll. Looking back at last year I realize that it was not only incredible but not quite as worrisome as I sometimes, well, worry.January I had a couple of Holy Crap moments when dear blogging friends nominated me for awards. Sure the awards are totally made up and had no cash involved. Still it made this new blogger feel like she was making a difference. What a great way to start the year especially as I worried about being isolated in this life with Boo.February was great. There was a lot of wine involved in making February great. Mother Nature was in a snit so she sent some fish named Nemo to wreck havoc on my sanity. During this time I thought about how Boo is really great at some things. Like banging blocks.March I gave you my opinion on social media. You were enthralled and named me queen. I also enlisted into the war against the “R” word. April I took Five Minutes to talk about Boo’s newest accomplishment: Jumping. I also vented at the neurologist that said she never would. You will be glad to know that it is now December and she still hasn’t managed to jump off anything higher than the floor. Okay, I’m glad about that.May we shared about how being a special mom is different. I also entered into the Babble Best of the Blogs. If you haven’t had a chance to vote (by visiting the site and hitting the Facebook Like or retweeting via Twitter), would you do it now? The voting ends soon and I will stop begging for votes! Okay, voting ends January 14. So I will probably be begging a bit longer. I was also one of the first residents of Our Land. If you have never made it over to the land Kristi created you are missing out.June I played Listicles and while I rarely get the subject right, I did manage to entertain Dana. I also asked you what the heck I was thinking as I started running, it wasn’t pretty.July I tried to be a Brady. I failed. It was epic. I blame Jen Kehl. August I wrote a letter to Boo. It made my mom cry, not my intent. I hope someday both my children read it and understand that children never break us. They make us. (You better be paying attention K).September brought the girls back to school and me a magic wand. Okay, not really but I finished the sentence “if I had a magic wand“. So same thing. I also vented a bit at the jerks who messed with Disney.October I got to meet Kate! Of course I made her run and she really hasn’t been back since. I’m sure the mullet had nothing to do with that. I also took the easy way out with Boo and hope next time I put my big girl panties on.November I explained why homework is so difficult in our house and once again messed with Jen’s mix-tapes. Boo went to her first ever birthday party. It was awesome.December brought the freaking Elf. I’m still not over it.Phew, 2013 was very busy. No wonder I’m exhausted! How was your year?

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Joy has invited all of us to join her in wrapping up the year that was. She even provided the prompts, because she is so sweet and helpful.

Gained or lost weight? I freaking GAINED!!! While running I gained 5 freaking pounds. How unfair is that? I wasn’t running to lose weight, rather for stress and exercise. But to GAIN rather than maintain or lose. I call unfair.Predominant feeling in 2013? If I had to chose one “feeling” to sum up 2013 I would have to say content. Overall it was a great year. Sure I stressed, I cried, I ran, I jumped with joy. But I end this year with a sense of contentment. I did the best I could and am happy with where my family is today.Predominant feeling in 2014? It hasn’t happened yet 🙂

Something I did for the first time in 2013? I did a four-mile obstacle race and didn’t die (Abby was worried)Something you did again in 2013 after a long pause? Running. And I enjoy it now which is weird.

Something you unfortunately did not do in 2013? Pay attention to the sign “NO DIVING”.

Word of the year? Literally. Abby has found this word and is literally using it incorrectly every time she says it. Literally.

City of the year? Boston Strong, of course!

Hair longer or shorter? The same. I’m boring that way.

More or less money spent? More, sad but true.

Highest mobile phone bill? Let’s not focus on how the money may have been spent.

Hospital stays? No, thank goodness!

(Fallen) In love? Every day

Most called person? David. Sure it is usually to ask him to pick up food, but it counts.

Whom did you spend the most beautiful time with? Okay anyway I answer this I am in trouble.

What did you spend most of your time with? Probably Facebook.

Song of the year? My favorite or American top 40’s? Mine would have to be Cruise by Florida/Georgia Line (the remix)

Book of the year? Defending Jacob

TV show/movie of the year? Big Bang Theory that show never gets old for me

Insight of the year? That I am not alone

Three things you totally could have done without? Diet coke, Miley Cyrus and Abby throwing upMost beautiful event? Boo dancing on the sand

More short-sighted or more far-sighted than 2013? Short-sighted.

The most dangerous thing you did? Obstacle race. People there was a 10 foot wall!

The most expensive thing you bought? IPHONE

The most delicious meal or food you ate? Scallops at Bob Chin’s in Chicago

The best party? Any that I host, I just have the best time doing it.

The most important thing you wanted to convince somebody of? That they are not alone

The most beautiful present you gave to somebody? I think giving someone Thanksgiving dinner for my brothers birthday.

The most beautiful present that somebody gave you? My brother donated to Children’s Hospital in my name.

The most beautiful sentence someone said to you? Ov you

The most beautiful sentence you said to someone? I’ll let you live if you don’t eat the last piece of chocolate in the house.

How will you celebrate New Year’s Eve? At home where I will wake Abby up at 11:40 to watch the ball drop.

What will you have for dinner? Take-out, probably Chinese

What drinks will be in your glasses to clink? Hello, do you not know me? Pinot Grigio baby

Will you ignite any fireworks? Dude there is no way I am answering this question and going to jail

What are you going to wear? Comfy or glamorous? Comfy, always comfyDid you have any resolutions for 2013? And how about 2014? You can read about my resolutions here and how I did at the half-way point here. 2014 I only have two: to run a half-marathon and to not scream at my child/husband so loud the neighbors hear me.

What are your wishes for the new year? If you tell a wish it won’t come true…

In one word: 2013 was…spectacular. Literally.

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I haven’t played with Lizzi in a while. Not that I haven’t been thankful, just been to busy to give Thanks. I am sure I’m not the only one! To suck up show how thankful I am here I am breaking the rules (go figure) and doing 12 things of thankful. One for every month of 2013 I survived.

January, I was thankful for the Liebster award.February, I was thankful for Abby’s sense of humor and honest about who her favorite person is (hint, not me).March, I was thankful for people understanding that the word Retard means something different to me now and joining me in abolishing the word.April made me thankful for Jimmy Buffett as I realize he gives us the soundtrack for a laid back life. The sound track, not the manual.May I was thankful to be able to tell people what drives me crazy. June I was not thankful for yard work but happy to know I am not alone.July I was thankful for all the ways my girls make me smile. August I was thankful for husbands.September I was thankful the girls were back in school. Also that boys are gross. October I was thankful for Boo’s therapists and friends that let me take the easy way out.November I was just thankful for Boo. December I am thankful that I have come a long way since January.

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I was thinking of ways I can add more tradition to our Christmas. Not make is to much about the Elf. My friend Joy is from Germany and of course follows that Country’s traditions. Which, by the way do not include putting a pickle in your tree. So I thought let’s look at Ireland. But messed up and hit the link for Italy. Now, I know my mind is warped, but this struck me as beyond funny:

In Italy the children wait until Epiphany, January 6, for their presents. According to tradition, the presents are delivered by a kind ugly witch called Befana on a broomstick. It was said that she was told by the three kings that the baby Jesus was born, she was busy and delayed visiting the baby.

She missed the Star lost her way and has been flying around ever since, leaving presents at every house with children in case he is there. She slides down chimneys, and fills stockings and shoes with good things for good children and it is said leaves coal for children who are not so good.

Okay, first can you imagine Abby waiting until Jan 6th to open her gifts? But more importantly what woman would not only miss the Star but then spend a million years flying around not stopping to ask for directions?

I will end this with a wish that you all have a Merry Christmas Eve my friends. May you not finish the wine before you finish putting the toys together and gifts under the tree!

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Boo has had to undergo neurological/psychiatric testing over the past two weeks. There hasn’t been any issues, other than her turning five. In our state (for insurance purposes, I believe) once you turn the ripe old age of five you are no longer allowed to be undiagnosed and/or globally delayed. Boo had to go twice, for two hours each day, to meet with a psychologist for a battery of tests. (I think battery is a strong word, she didn’t hurt Boo). The tests varied from intelligence/cognitive testing to behavioral/autism to play skills. Part of me wanted Boo to bomb the testing, securing her services. The good mom in me wanted her to excel. Typical Boo she did a little of both and managed to frustrate the doctor. I wish I could have Kristi’s artistic talent to demonstrate the following (I tried, I failed, I didn’t want to hurt your eyes):Doctor: Boo stack the blocks like this (imagine, two next to each other and one on top)Boo: (hands the doctor the blocks after banging them for a minute)Doctor: Can Boo climb onto and out of an adult chair?Boo: Moves said chair next to exam table, proceeds to climb on top of chair, to table, to window sill in an attempt to get out of the room. We happen to be on the 10th floor and very thankful the windows don’t open.I’m impressed that Boo realized she had to do something with both the blocks and the chair. The doctor is distressed that she cannot follow direction. At the end of the two days the doctor asked us if we had any questions. I ask her how she feels Boo did. She had previously thrown out words: autism, PPD-NOS, mentally disabled, intellectually disabled, ADHD and a bunch of other terms. Her response:I have to score the tests.Hm…now those that know me know that I tend not to be brushed off. I (politely, I swear) reminded the woman that she was an experienced professional who must have some instinct to how Boo had tested.After a moment or two she told us that she honestly didn’t know. That she wanted to show the test results and video to not only Boo’s neurologist (whom I adore and trust) along with other colleagues. How Boo performed was baffling:She shows signs of Autism: Will not look the doctor in the eye.She shows signs that a child with Autism wont: She told the doctor to “look” and sought her attention.Autism: Hand flapping, quickly distracted, would not follow directions, toe walkingNot: Social, engaging with materials, attempts to please, would put heals down when prompted by cueAutism: lack of safety awarenessNot: asked for help when trying to get down off the exam tableIntellectually disabled: Cannot copy a “t” on the paperNot intellectually disabled: can hold a pencil in the correct graspID: Cannot follow a two-step directionNot: Knew she needed a pencil to draw on paperID: Poor motor planningNot: Pushed chair to get to top of exam tableThe examples go on and on. In the end the doctor said at this point Boo is a Medical Enigma.Where have I heard that before?She will convene a team (about damn time) to look over everything. She agrees (as do neurology and genetics) that whatever is going on is neurological in origin. In the end it doesn’t really matter what “term” they give Boo. I think Bridgetitis is a lovely term. We will continue to advocate, get therapies that work and love her the same with or without a medical diagnosis. At five years old, she remains undiagnosed and we are still okay with that.

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Not to insult my other friends, but each year there is one party that I look forward to more than any other. The Sirens Christmas Party. While I see a lot of the woman throughout the year, this is the only night where all of the fire department wives leave the brave fire fighters home with the sugared up lovely children and have a night out with wine, food, laughter and a Yankee Swap. There are only two rules to our annual party: you have to be over 21 and you have to have some relationship to someone on the fire department at one point in your life. Oh and if you can bring a bottle of wine rule number 2 is easily forgotten!Not all the wives make it every year, I believe this was one of the quieter years. However the veterans, we know this is the one party you want to attend. I know what you are thinking, a Yankee swap? Those are so boring or you end up with crap. But that is only if you don’t follow the rules:

1. Only invite one person who will bring a crap gift (aka a candle), all other guests must be reliable to bring something one or more people will want to have in their home.2. Count the number of people at the party (do this before the wine is open, trust me on this one).3. Put numbers on tiny bits of paper and place in a hat/bowl/shoe. 4. Have everyone pick a number without looking at it, knowing that the host will probably end up with the first number or the last (this is important information, I hope you are paying attention)5. You begin to pick gifts in the order of your number. So, number 1 you go first.6. From that point on you either steal a persons gift (please do) or open an unwrapped one. This continues on until the last unwrapped gift is open. Then person #1 7. You can only steal an item once, so if you really want that chatski you have to begin to create an alliance. This is where the real fun begins.For example, you really had the perfect gift and your arch nemeses stole it. You are no unable to resteal. BUT you have an alliance with 3 or more people. You have some one else steal for you, you then steal what they want. Working together, you make sure that you go home with the gift you want and not the buddah butter that Kate got stuck with! In past years our swap has included: lobster, anything fire department related (yes, we are fools), beautiful jewelry, alcohol (the more children we have the less sought after this one is), home décor you would actually hang in your house and the ugliest nutcracker you have ever seen that has a stipulation that you have to bring it back the following year.In our case, the Swap lasted just over 2 hours. We have had epic ones that lasted over three. Last night, one woman almost peed her pants, one fell off a chair and there was much shenanigans to make sure you didn’t end up with the scratch tickets. Especially after they were all losers!Happy Holiday Parties everyone, don’t shudder at the thought of having a Yankee Swap. Just remember the rules: Wine, Friends and only one crap gift allowed! My fellow Sirens, I will see you next December. I am already on the look out for my contribution!

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Boo is not fond of Santa Claus. This year is a slight improvement over last year when every time she saw his picture she cried “I NO LIKE”. At least now she will say her approximation of Santa Claus (anta) or call him ismiss. This past weekend our Church’s youth group put on a Pancake with Santa event. Boo loves her pancakes and had been goodnot too bad didn’t get thrown out of Mass (although the woman in the next to us was decidedly having un-Christian like thoughts about us).
How could this go wrong? All I had to do was take the girls into the hall and eat pancakes. We didn’t have to go near Santa. Right? We are nicely eating our pancakes, Abby leaves for CCD and the it happened.

Now I ask you, those out there that are of sound mind and not those crazy ones that play with the Elf…..if you see a child sitting down showing absolutely NO interest in you, as you sit on your throne would you get up off the throne and walk over to them?

Would you continue to walk towards them as the child cowered and then tried to dive back into the womb? Would you then say, “Oh is she shy”?

I replied, “No she is terrified. Thank you (I do have some manners) but please move along”.

He did and then continued to come back to our table (we were the only ones at this table). Not once, not twice but trice. Finally I gently askedhad enough gave him the stare I use on Abby in Mass.

Move along, fat man. Move along my look said.

I told Abby this story after CCD. I thought I would have her support. After all she is always looking out for Boo. Her analysis:

Boo is NEVER getting on the good list.

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This week is dealer’s choice in the mix lounge. Since last time I took that literally, Jen was quite clear: MAKE YOUR OWN DAMN MIX TAPE. Boo loves Christmas music. It kind of strange really. But she can tell the difference between Christmas music and regular music. Thank goodness there is a radio station that has been playing Christmas music 24/7. The minute we hit the car I hear “more music”. If it is anything but Christmas, she shouts “ismass”. I’m quite proud.Since I am one of those freaks who hate Christmas shopping but loves the music this has not been an issue. I foresee the issue on December 26th when we enter the car and there is no ‘more’. Yet with playing the music 24/7 via Pandora and all Christmas all the time radio there are some songs that are just not played enough.

Speaking of Mr. Crosby….What I love about this song is that Ziggy Stardust was on a television show with an icon. Who would have ever thought they would make such beautiful music? An icon did, that’s who. By the way, I haven’t heard this song ONCE this year.

Boo loves this song. Do you call a song a song when it doesn’t have any words? Anyway, I think she likes it precisely because there are no words. The music itself transports her to a place of joy.This list could be 100 songs long, so I will stop now! Thanks Jen for making me follow the rules.

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Who thought up this freaking elf and decided to let Abby in on the awesomeness? I’d like to buy you an nice icicle up the butt. I blame the public school system and totally get why Sylvia homeschools.What is up with all of you fools that play pranks with the elf? I have no idea what you are thinking! The Elf is here to make sure the kids behave. Why are you messing up your house, your kitchen? Why should the kids behave if the freaking elf doesn’t?I’m so confused.I’m also in need of the name of whatever fool told Abby that if she wrote to the elf he would write back. EVERY FREAKING NIGHT! It’s bad enough that I wake up in a cold sweat at 3am because I forgot to move the freaking thing. But to have to write a note on top of it all?At 3 freaking AM?Isn’t there enough work in Santa’s toy shop for the elves? Does he really need to outsource the naughty list to multiple elves?Speaking of Santa. Since he is supposed to have brought the Elf to our house, why is it on a display right when you walk into the store? Thankfully my friend A had a quick response for that one:Santa lets the store sell Elves you can touch so you won’t touch the one he sent you.Guess what Abby wants now? I told her that Max would be jealous if she brought in another elf. She bought it thank the Good Lord. Then she saw the made in China tag this fool forgot to cut off his butt.I told her she had a Chinese elf. Just like she has a Chinese grandfather. She thinks she has his eyes so it’s all good.The grandfather’s eyes, not the elf’s.Abby asked where Boo’s elf was. I’m like uh? Apparently since Max arrived when Abby turned 5 she expected one to show up for Boo. I would like to buy an icicle up the butt for whatever parent bought their kids more than one elf! Are you not busy enough? Do you not have enough to worry about that you decided to complicate matters! I told Abby that Santa knew her elf was smart enough to watch over both of them. She turned to Max and said:

Please don’t report on Boo. She won’t get any presents.

Great, now my kid is telling her elf to lie to Santa. I hate that Elf.

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(c) Kerri Ames and Undiagnosedbutokay.com (2011 through current date). Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Kerri Ames and/or Undiagnosed but Okay with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.