Traditional marriage Series - The Idoma Traditional wedding

Idoma style of wedlock

The Idoma people live in central Nigeria, Benue State. They can trace their roots to the Zulu tribe of South Africa, who are mainly warriors. Some of their subgroups are the Adors, Otupas, Ogbadibos, Apas, Ofokanus and Owukpas.

In most cultural groups in Nigeria, traditional marriage is an arrangement between two families rather than an arrangement between two individuals.

Marriage in Idoma land is considered a lifelong state of union, although divorce is possible on the grounds of Infidelity.

When an Idoma man is about twenty-five years old and has the financial and physical capability to maintain a wife and children, he searches for a woman of his choice, who must be at least eighteen years old. He informs his family of his desire and they will in turn choose a go-between (a person who is familiar with the girl's family).

The go-between investigates the family of the prospective bride to ascertain that the family has no history of specific ailments e.g. mental disease, epilepsy, and/or similar problems. If the result of this investigation is positive, the prospective groom's family visits the woman's family with gifts of Kolanut and Hot drinks.

DATE/LIST OF MARRIAGE ITEMS

During the initial introduction, the date for the wedding ceremony is proposed by the husband to be and his family. After much deliberation, an acceptable date is reached by both families. On the same day, a list of required traditional items to be brought to the girl’s family on the day of the engagement is given to the man. The items differ from ethnic group to ethnic group.

Basic among these items are:

1. Walking stick, Cap and Cloths for the Father of the girl

2. Cloth for the Mother of the girl

3. Some tubers of Yam

4. One or two bags of Salt

5. A she goat

6. Some bottles of Palm Oil

7. Hot Drinks

8 A Suitcase for the wife to be

The bride's mother buys her cooking utensils and food because she is not expected to go to the market for the first five market days after her marriage.

These items (which are more than those listed in the list above) are brought to the family of girl on the engagement day, signifying that the husband-to-be can take care of his wife.

Before the bride is handed over to her husband, her age group will pose as a mock barrier to those who want to take her and extort money from the anxious groom's family.

PAYMENT OF THE BRIDE PRICE (THE DOWRY)

On the engagement day and in addition to the bride-price, the groom must pay a dowry first to the bride's mother and then another dowry to the father; this involves a significant amount of bargaining. Also every member of the bride's mother's family must be given money, with the groom's family determining the amount. The bride's age group and her more distant relatives also are given money, with the amount varying with level of the bride's education and productivity. Then the groom's family gives the bride a rooster and some money. If she accepts these gifts and gives them to her mother, she indicates her acceptance of the groom and is showered with gifts and money, but if she refuses to marry the man after these gifts have been provided, the bride’s family will return everything.

At the end of the eating and drinking, the wife is finally handed over to her husband's family.

Ideally, the bride is expected to be a virgin, as it is a source of pride and joy to her family. If she is found not to be a virgin, she is taken to the husband's family' ancestral shrine for cleansing. After cleansing, the Ije (an ancestral sash) is put on her to invoke fertility.

The Idoma traditional wedding is a more extensive process that what is written above, but we have just highlighted the key scenes.

Let's have your comments and contributions and don't forget to share because a friend might just need this for his/her wedding.

Do this cleansing apply to modern day idoma? more over, dowry varies from family to family, like my father collect N150.00. only as dowry, no matter the level of education. all he want is his daughter's happiness.

by Theresa Yakubuadded over 3 years ago

not ogbanibo, but ogbadibo. Thanks.

by eleojo itodoadded over 3 years ago

there is nothing like giving money to the brides age group and that virginity and cleansings thing is bullshit,the groom has nothing to do with how much the family of the bride spent on her education,stop pasting what is not true.

by RUBYadded 10 months ago

I had two ‘exes’ who wanted to come back into my life and I was ready to settle down. But I was so confused then that i did not know who to pick from the two. Two years back I was dating this first guy, but we broke up because he wouldn’t stop cheating on me, in fact he impregnated another lady and she had to abort the baby. We broke up because he was a ****ing cheat! Last year, I met this second guy whom I dated, this guy was caring, but he would beat the hell out of me whenever we have issues. I also broke up with him. Last month, the two of them started disturbing me that they have changed for good but they never changed. i contacted DR. Tebe online (greattebespelltemple@gmail.com) that help me choose the right man from the two and He also help me to cast a spell to make sure he never cheat on me again, we got married and it has been three years now, all has been well with our marriage. Dr. Tebe email address is greattebespelltemple@gmail.com and his web site is http://greattebespelltemple.webs.com Email him for help immediately if you need an urgent and positive help to solve any problem you are facing right now.

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by RUBYadded 10 months ago

I had two ‘exes’ who wanted to come back into my life and I was ready to settle down. But I was so confused then that i did not know who to pick from the two. Two years back I was dating this first guy, but we broke up because he wouldn’t stop cheating on me, in fact he impregnated another lady and she had to abort the baby. We broke up because he was a ****ing cheat! Last year, I met this second guy whom I dated, this guy was caring, but he would beat the hell out of me whenever we have issues. I also broke up with him. Last month, the two of them started disturbing me that they have changed for good but they never changed. i contacted DR. Tebe online (greattebespelltemple@gmail.com) that help me choose the right man from the two and He also help me to cast a spell to make sure he never cheat on me again, we got married and it has been three years now, all has been well with our marriage. Dr. Tebe email address is greattebespelltemple@gmail.com and his web site is http://greattebespelltemple.webs.com Email him for help immediately if you need an urgent and positive help to solve any problem you are facing right now.