Learning as I age

Month: July 2017

Today I have had good news. My husband has his Fellowship Diploma in hand today. The months of tears and hard work have finally paid off.

Time took a hard toll on him and his health. In between we had the scare of my mother’s double illness.

There were times when I thought and he thought he was going to give up and come home.

It is a great achievement for someone at 55, and whose last formal education ended in 19999 at 37 years of age. The Fellowship was not really a dream for him, I guess, not if one had heard him over the past months but I think it was a dream plan put in his heart by God – he just took the opportunity.

Lessons learnt:

It is never too late to start on something new, to explore a new avenue and see what life brings if you choose to deviate from set tracks.

Life or should I say, forces try to push you away from the path-that happens all the time, when you are on a straight and narrow track, especially one that has not been so well explored.

Prayer, especially prayer from a lot of people play a great role in nudging you to that path, even if you might want to go back to the safety of your starting point.

God is the driver of the vehicle, you are just a passenger. All you need to do is sit, and be still on that vehicle. The driver will drive you to your destination, safe and sound.

The path you took can be a beacon of light for others after you. You might be a role model for others. My daughters’ classmates look up to my husband for his courage in taking this plunge so supposedly “late” in his life.

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Melinda from purpleslobinrecovery nominated me for this award which I am proud to receive as I am a book lover myself. Thank you, Lucy

Rules:

Thank the person who nominated you and add a link to their blog.

Answer the questions asked on this post.

Nominate at least five people to do it also.

Let your nominees know you nominated them.

Questions

What are your three book pet peeves ?

I sometimes wish I could rewrite the ending myself. It would be so different- so that means if the ending is not what I expected, it would bother me.

Sometimes I wonder how some books got published or how some authors even got the story they wrote. What do they have in their brain ? Isn’t there a thing called self- censorship ?

I read a book recently on my trip back from home – The Matsya Curse- this book I wish I had never purchased or read. The story line is so unclear, what did the author want to say ?

Sometimes I find the writers are so fed up with their characters by about the middle of the book, that they want to end it somehow. Perhaps they were under a strict deadline or something, and they just hurry on till the ending. Have you ever faced that ?

2. Describe your favorite reading spot ?

An old sofa in my room, if the weather is cold and the room comfortable. At other times, it can be a waiting area- book reading is what keeps me through a wait period.

3. Tell us three book confessions.

I have been guilty of throwing books in the dustbin because I felt such books should not be in circulation. I am an emotional reader. I don’t cry when I read books but books affect me and my thoughts. There are times when I like the anti-hero better than the hero of the story. I have read upto 3 books a day at one day- those are the happiest days of my life. I am sad these days as I require my reading glasses to read books and they are often misplaced and I lose out on valuable reading time.

4. When was the last time I cried when I read a book ?

I can’t remember when I ever did.

5. How many books are there by your bedside table ?

At least 9 and they are all bedtime simple books, books I have read a 100 times before but they are simple, with an old world charm. Paddington wins the prize always.

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We spent about 14 days in hospital- entirely. Mom and I almost fully and dad went home a couple of times to check on the house and my other sister who was at home with her baby. We established a routine of sorts those days.

5:30 am was waking up time when the nurses came in, to change sheets and check Blood pressure and do blood tests if any.

Between 5:30 and 6 am : Mom got hungry once she was out of the Intravenous fluid and we tried to give her tea but she wouldn’t tolerate it, so we took to giving her Horlicks which she liked

Between 6- 7 am : We tried to sleep some more

7 am : Usually the onco surgeon came on his rounds at this time, so we needed to be up. Mom would have combed her hair and put on her dentures by this time. My mom has long locks of hair.

7:30 am : Breakfast for mom

8: am : Dad went to have his breakfast at the cafeteria ( canteen) while I waited with mom

8:30 am : When dad came back, I went to get my breakfast and buy some things that we wanted, like a newspaper, or fruit or sugar or a new towel or anything that turned up. Its amazing how little my needs were during these days.

9 : 10:30 am : waiting for various doctors to come on rounds and checking of drains

10:30 am to 11 am : we set this time apart to help mom with her bath. Months of being sick, had limited her ability to take a bath. Now that she was relieved, we had to establish a pattern for her daily showers. In the beginning she would just sit and I had to do all the work but later she learned to take her shower herself. I saw myself as she might have seen me when she had given me a bath at various periods in my life those days.

11 am : After the bath, was reading time. Mom could read but she preferred that I read for her. She wanted me to read from her favorite vernacular magazine and I revamped my reading skills in my native language through these reading sessions. I think sick people enjoy being read to. I have only read about people reading for old people and this was a first for me. Reminded of Jo of Little women reading for her Aunt. We grew close during these reading sessions. Sometimes mom would prefer just to talk- or pass on gossip. They were enjoyable times

Between 12 : 12:3o : Lunch arrived but mom preferred to eat later. The initial days she would refuse to eat. Nothing seemed to taste the same anymore. I despaired of getting her to eat anything. I nearly cried but in secret. I prayed with my whole heart to help her keep a mouthful of food inside. Those were desperate days. Out of the blue on day 4 after the surgery, she said, she could drink Horlicks if I wished. We clutched at the straw she threw us and got her what she wanted.

After lunch, all of us dozed for a bit till tea time.

From tea time, we started watching TV, read books, and when she was able walked mom with her walker around the room or even outside the room. The stitches hurt and it was painful to watch a once active woman struggle to walk. The vein that had been cut inside her abdomen led her right leg to have swelling, in addition to the deep vein thrombus she developed in the ICU.

Try reading out to a person in need. It really gives you a feeling of fulfillment. They don’t mind what you read, its like they just want to hear a human voice.

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This must be a frivolous read. June 20. I had a couple of phone calls reminding me that it was my birthday.

For me time had stood still. It was the day after my mother’s double surgery. I was in shock. That it was my birthday didn’t seem real at all. The day was rainy.

My mom was in the ICU. My father and I spent the night before in the hospital room where my mom had been the previous night, before the surgery.

Tomorrow( my birthday) we would need to vacate the room. The hospital rule said that if patients were in the ICU, relatives needed to vacate to a lodge or find a guest room or accommodation outside.

Early in the morning we visited my mother in the ICU as soon as the ICU was open to visitors- at around 7 am. She looked so small and emaciated in the blue hospital gown. She gave me a smile and beckoned to me. I went to her side- she asked me to get her her dentures and a comb for her hair.

That was the best birthday gift I had received. My mother was herself again. The long surgery of the previous day did not seem to have dampened her spirits. She was worried about how she looked ! I knew then that she was strong and my birthday was made.

I seemed to have gone through life in reverse. My mother would have rejoiced to see me smile or make a milestone as I was growing up but I had seen my mother smile at me and show me her spirit and it gladdened my heart. I was 48 but my mother’s request for her dentures and a comb sent a thrill through me. I could see she wanted to look her best before the doctors came on rounds. No one would have guessed that she had gone through a grueling 8 hour surgery just the previous day.

She is my mother and I am proud of her.

Birthdays seem to have lost their importance for me and even birthday gifts. To have a dear one near by is one of the best of life’s gifts, even more than one’s own life.

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I have been home a week now but taking time off from work, to come to terms with the changes in my life.

I have written about my hope of completing my education someday. Things were going in the right direction- my university accreditation has been complete and it remains for me to put in my application. And there is a good chance that I might get accepted to a reputed university.

But I am having second thoughts now. I doubt if I can pull it through. I seem to have lost the confidence and will power to do it. I have tried to read the Bible over the last week to get comfort and have prayed to be led to a powerful verse that can guide me. I don’t often seem to get direct comfort from reading the Bible these days. My life is all topsy turvy.

I am reading my daily lesson now and I see a verse which seems to be speaking right to me.

Ruth 3:18

Wait, my daughter, until you find out what happens. For the man will not rest until the matter is settled today.

It gives me hope that I need to trust and hold on and keep going. My life will clear out again like Ruth’s did and be once more filled with blessings.