Ponderings from a dad divided. (Or a quasi-rant).

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Being a divided dad

I am a divided dad. I assume we are all divided at least one way or another – either internally or pulled by external forces. And often we are unknowingly torn between right and wrong. Only because we just don’t know any better. Ya know, being a dad is more art than science.

And why am I a divided dad and not a divided person, or a divided man? The answer is simple. I am a dad. And when you are a dad, that is what you are. And being a dad is way different than being a father. Being a father is a physical thing. Being a dad is emotional, mental, spiritual and any other “al” you can think of.

My own external divisions come from being divorced, employed full-time and occasionally being a boyfriend. They all affect being a dad. Being a dad is 24/7. It doesn’t end when your ex picks up the kids, or when you enter your office, or when you are out on a date (especially if you don’t turn off your cell phone!). So, everything you do affects being a dad. Some weigh heavier than others. Trust me, having my kids meet my first girlfriend was way heavier than bringing them to the office. But I do try to do things for me. Painfully so, often. I do so considering how it affects them, but I don’t make myself a non-issue. I wasn’t like that at first. I erred quite a bit to one side of the equation.

I am not starting this blog so I can tell other dads how to be a dad. I am here to share the joys, experiences, thoughts, insights and feelings about being a dad. I just got back from Dad 2.0 and was incredibly inspired by those I met and heard speak. So thanks to @dadscribe, @robcandy, @jeffpulver, @homeanduncool, @blackhockeyjesus, @whithonea, @brenebrown, @canadiandad, @dadscribe, @busydadblog, @thedaddycomplex, @cc_chapman, @playgroundlords, and @howtobeadad

Welcome to the fold! And you have no idea how happy it makes me to hear that you take the ‘dadding’ 24/7 seriously. After a divorce, I see SO many dads divorce their kids too. Bravo. I look forward to what’s coming down the pike.

I felt energized by Dad 2.0, so I know where you’re coming from. It’s almost been a year for me (Feb. 21 is the anniversary), and it’s been a great experience. Glad you were compelled to join this great and growing community!