Correction and clarification: yesterday we misreported the Manchester United assistant manager Carlos Queiroz saying of Cristiano Ronaldo: "The kid has a divine talent. I have never seen a player with this level of ability." The quote should have read: "The kid has a diving talent. I have never seen a player with this level of ability."

Apologies, but it is an easy mistake to make. Not only is there a curlicue's worth of difference between the two words, but young Ronaldo, has indeed elevated the art of diving to the divine.

Which leads me, almost seamlessly, to the unfortunate utterances of Rafael Benítez. On Saturday, the Liverpool manager declared with the subtlety of a tap-dancing elephant, that Everton were a small club, and that you couldn't expect a small club not to park a metaphorical bus outside the mighty Anfield goal and hope to hold out for a 0-0 bore draw.

Pardon me, Rafa, but I must ask by what criteria you are distinguishing the big from the small. Recent Premiership triumphs? Size of squad? Cost of squad? Or number of quality divers?

Yes, of course, trophies and wealth are significant factors, but ultimately what separates the very top teams from the pack is the diver. Ronaldo is simply in another league - the flash of pace, flick of the heel, and a flounce so discreet that it is not discernible to the naked eye. Not even slow-mo could prove whether he had been fouled or pulled a fast one. It is only natural that a man who can perform myriad tricks with the ball at his feet, can do even more without it. Ronaldo thinks so quickly that he wins penalties by pre-empting the foul with precautionary action - for what those in the crim-biz like to call "intent". In recent years, Manchester United were also blessed with the artful if relatively slothful Ruud van Nistelrooy, who could fall, stand and score within the space of a ref's whistle.

At Chelsea, another indisputably big club if not quite as big as it would like to be, Jose Mourinho famously declared that he wanted two world-class players for every position. While the Special One himself will admit he has failed in certain areas, he has certainly got a couple of divers - the brilliant Didier Drogba and Arjen Robben are world-class. Last year, the commendably honest Drogba admitted that he indulged in the theatrical. Sadly, he later retracted the comment, arguing that he had misunderstood the question.

For many years, Arsenal's Thierry Henry disappointed on the diving front, showing a marked reluctance to "go down" when he could remain vertical. But recently, he has added this new dimension to complete his all-round game. His collapse for France in last year's World Cup against Spain was exemplary. Like all the true champions, Arsenal have not relied on one sprawler. Robert Pires displayed great facility for the unimpeded fall, and Robin van Persie is beginning to fulfil his potential.

Whereas the Premiership's big clubs boast a cornucopia of experts, the smaller clubs are marked by a lack of flair in the diving department. Take Manchester City. When the prolific forward Bernardo Corradi attempted to win a penalty, his dive was of such ham-footed incompetence that he got himself sent off for bad acting. City have not possessed a top diver since Francis Lee. Can it be coincidence that this was the last time they were a truly big club of championship-winning proportions?

And so to Benítez. Now we know that Liverpool are regarded as one of the big four, but this does prompt the question - where is their quality diver? Michael Owen belongs to a previous era. Peter Crouch is too spidery, Steven Gerrard too upright. In fact, without wishing to add insult to Rafa's injury, it has been suggested that Small Everton possessed one of the finest divers in the game.

The facts speak for themselves: Manchester United, Arsenal and Chelsea have all won Premiership titles. Liverpool have not, and not until they employ a quality diver are they likely to.

Finally, a suggestion to restore the beautiful game to its pristine state. Diving is by far a greater reflection of footballing ability than penalty taking. While penalties require little more than brute force, a quality dive needs pace, close control, trickery and the ability to stay on one's feet till one falls over. So instead of penalties, it makes sense to decide cup ties on dives; five divers line up from both teams and a panel of judges with score cards vote for the winner. Should Simons Cowell or Fuller try to patent the new-model football, please remember I was there first.