A Letter to Jen Turano in Regards to “After A Fashion”

You have been the reason of my torment recently. College homework has been put on hold despite their upcoming due dates and the piles will not stop growing, my GPA has been put at risk, I am days behind in sleep, sharp glares have been given to any member that has been approaching me lately, and I was being put under extreme pressure to call in sick to work.

You may be now asking, “Why are all these issues my fault?”

Three words: After A Fashion

I would now ask that you would take these issues that I just addressed into consideration when you write your next novel. Please consider composing your future novels in a way where they drag on-and-on telling about something dull such as the history of bustles or illogical happenings that don’t captivate me in such a way that I disregard the importance of my future and brush away all upcoming homework assignments. Also, if you would make your heroines less comical, stubborn, and captivating and your heroes less dashing, perfect, and swoon-worthy that would be incredibly helpful. Perhaps they could both possess a dry sense of humor without a hint of stubbornness and always without any curiosity that stirs them into trouble – that would move things along perfectly.

I’d also like to add that you may want to beg your cover designers to make a cover with a heroine with straggly hair, a not-so-perfect appearance, and perhaps a hard-to-read typography. This way, it won’t take up the minutes I spend nostalgically staring at the cover instead of working on my incredibly important homework.