Big deal. I have a “complete run” of Blue Oyster Cult’s early work but you don’t hear me gloating about it. I hate it when BatNard wallows in his own self-indulgent crapulence like this. How many goddamned universes full of undeveloped characters can one comic strip creator have?

Well, at least we now know why there isn’t any Mrs. Hagglemore, as his mansion walls are literally lined with female repellent. Batty never fails to find new and innovative ways to remind regular FW readers about his cleverness, like those stupid sidewards Batom Comic covers are something we all look back on fondly or something. He wishes. The only one I really “remember” is the SJ wedding one featuring the space penis, although I try to forget it each and every day. Just so you know, no SoSF guest host is going to come out of this totally unscathed, I’m living proof.

I have to assume that Boy Lisa’s Big City MBA career somehow involved frequent blows to the nose, which would explain how his Bob Hope ski-jump proboscis morphed into (yet another) misshapen Funky-like schnozz. Then again, it might just be unfathomable laziness.

While I agree that Chester’s obsessiveness definitely marks him as a 60 year old virgin, I do take umbrage at the idea that his collection is ‘female repellent.’ While it DOES cut him off from relationships, there are thousands of crazed, mouth-breathing, socially awkward female nerds wandering around comic-con dressed as Harley Quinn who would stalk Chester obsessively if he ever deigned to lower himself to ‘gen-con’ status and left his house.

They’re not female repellent because they’re comic book covers, they’re female repellent because they’re SHITTY comic book covers. Even the most dedicated female comic book nerd is going to roll her eyes and look for the nearest exit upon seeking “Moon Meek Mile” or whatever the hell its name is. I mean at least throw a copy of “Action #1” or “Spiderman #1” up there to impress and or lend that display a little “class” (as it were).

EVER published by BatTom Comix? Hmmmm, let’s see, that would be…. hmm, let’s just run a total… carry the three… hmmmm… NONE. Batom has never published a single comic. Ever. Not a one. See, that’s because BatTom Comix exists only in the pointy little bald head of TomBat, the guy who was turned down by every REAL comix company.

Meanwhile, Tomahack is stuck in Empty Filler Mode. Oh, sure, in his tiny man-child brain, he’s building suspense. But to everyone else, he’s treading water, stalling for time and eating up the clock. That’s to say nothing’s happening.

Meanwhile, BatBoy is desperately trying to prove that, yes, you can become fabulously wealthy collecting comix — provided you get your start stealing 6 or 7 of them from a drug store.

Self-indulgent is an understatement, Batiuk’s just fellating himself at this point. This arc is so plodding not because he’s incapable of making a well-paced (or at least better-paced) story, but because the “story” is just an excuse for this wish fulfillment.

LOL at “literally lined with female repellent.” How true. In fact, Chestermore Hagglestein is so revolting, even with his vast Comix fortune, he can’t attract his own rarely-seen-never-heard woman to take his guests’ coats and bring mugs of hot chocolate. Even prize assholes like Funky and Les managed to find someone with low enough self esteem to sign up for the job. Yet Man-Baby Warbucks goes unclaimed. Hard to figure.

1. For fuck’s sake… How many more snarky “Golly Gee Gosh that Chester sure is rich!” lines are we going to get? It’s been well established already!

2. It’s funny because this time a year ago these assholes were flying for free from LAX to Canton Regional Airport for free on Masone Jarre’s G650 and I don’t recall any of them playing class warfare against the wealthy then…

3. Pete+Darrin are there out of curiosity and more importantly because they think whatever business proposal they’re about to hear will be miles better than the $200k salary no-show/no-work Hollywood jobs they have now… Can’t they show 30 seconds of fucking politeness to their host?

I dunno why I’m even thinking about something so banal but the facial expressions read to me as Chester and Pete making eyes at each other (impressive!) while Darrin gets kinda snippy that someone is moving in on his bromance with that most valuable of dowries, comix.