Remnants vs. Romsey Town

The Remnants season has begun with the BBC making
outrageous
predictions about a "hot and dry" summer, surely too good to
be true . . .
and yet today was both of those things
as twenty-odd Remnants descended on Fitz for the first time since August.
Not that it was an internal game;
rather that our opponents, traditional early-season rivals Romsey Town,
were sporting nine sometime Remnants in their line-up.
The scene was all so idyllic that
Dave Williams,
in penning today's match report,
was moved to poetry:

"Earth hath not anything to show more fair":
an outfield like an expensive carpet;
a crisply mown square; the sky cerulean;
lithesome white-clad athletes limbering up
(can you spot the one that isn't quite right?).
And all this before the end of April. "Et in Arcadia ego":
amidst all the abundance of life force, the sad news that John Hill,
President of the club and Groundsman for many years preceding Dave Norman,
had died last week. All the longer-standing members will remember not
just his pride in every inch of his ground, square and pavilion, but also
just how helpful, decent and nice a bloke he was - and with an impish
sense of mischief to boot.
John's son
had honoured our club with a special journey to be at Fitz today,
where we held a minute's silence in John's memory . . .
although I thought I heard a voice with a broad west-Country accent saying,
"I don't know what all you daft buggers are doin' standin'
round when you could be getting on with the game."
Here's to you, John, and may a Mackeson always be yours
in whatever place we keep our memories of you.

John Young, not doing anything that can be written about in this caption.

In the lesser game prefiguring mortality, Rob Harvey
(standing in for Joe pro tem)
had won the toss and decided that Remnants would bat.
Mike Sneyd (11) and John Young (13)
were pinned
down by some early tight bowling from two of the only Romsey players
who weren't also Remnants, and, sure enough, Romsey took
first blood when Tom Jordan (now taller than his dad) span one past
Mike's straight bat on to the stumps.
The incoming Dave Williams smote his second ball past Tom and mid-off
to the boundary, and followed this with some powerful and effective late cuts.
For his part,
John continued his aggressive running to his doom:
pushing straight to John Moore at mid on, he called for an ambitious single
only to be sent back by Dave;
trying to find reverse gear he only succeeded in falling over on the hard
surface, leading to the first of what one suspects will be many
Remnants run outs for the season.
George Speller was next up: who survived his first ball from Tom just fine,
but the second was slow and deceptively full,
induced a swish which was quickly followed by the mezzo piano doink-click
of ball hitting the stumps. Tom Serby
essayed some nice shots and good style for 3, but became
Dave's second run out victim after an over-ambitious attempted quick single.
Kiran Sakhamuri made an instant impact with some clean straight hitting
to gaps in the field, but would have been the third run out victim,
but for a farcical singularity only possible in cricket:
Dave's call for a quick single and gallop down the pitch found Kiran
stock still at the bowler's end; a smart throw knocked down the stumps
with Dave inches short, but the umpire called "not out",
for the simple reason that Kiran had had never left his crease.
And because the ball had deflected into space, Kiran had plenty of
time to get down the other end to complete the most tortured of singles.
Not that the mayhem was over:
the next two balls were sitter catches, both of which were dropped.
After this episode of the Keystone Cops,
Remnants pressed on to a reasonable 113, Kiran and Dave both finishing on
34, though Dave was out last ball,
bowled swishing across a shortish Andy Owen delivery.

John Moore, bathed in an unearthly glow
(literally, since the light is presumably coming from the Sun . . .
or possibly the Mother Ship).

A formidable Remnants pace attack opened:
Joe White (1/10 and tight as ever) and George Speller (0/14),
the latter unlucky to find the edge of Romsey neophyte Nick Clarke's bat
with a ball that deflected past
the ever-tidy Rob Harvey behind the stumps and all the way to the boundary.
(Still, even if George had bad luck whilst bowling, he had his fair share
of good luck
in the field, at least if a juggling catch which he completed whilst
lying on his back is anything to go by.)
First change in the fifth over was Tom Serby (1/31), though after beating the
bat and mesmerising the batsmen with his changes of pace,
Mr Clarke began to find his bowling nutritious.
Sweeping on the midwicket boundary,
John Young showed his keenness and agility in covering more ground and
throwing more yards than anyone else in an effort to keep the runs down.
Ben Armitage (1/12) began with a high legside full toss that was
hit for four but then brought on the demise, two
balls later, of Jon Steele for 24, bowled by a straight one.
The strategic arrival of Sarah Pelham
to bolster the fielding and a lively and accurate spell from Julius Rix (1/21)
pegged Romsey back, leaving them needing six runs to get off the last over.

The Romsey chase was going pretty well at this stage.

Tom Jordan about to face the final over of the match with
Rob Harvey 'keeping and someone (hopefully not Joe White, since
he's meant to be bowling) at backward point.

"Cometh the hour, cometh the man": up to the oche steps Joe, now
bowling fuller-pitched off breaks
(following the howls of protest after he finished
last year's Romsey game at full
pace in the gloom)
to the straight-playing Tom Jordan.
The result: textbook defensive strokes straight back to the bowler
from the first four balls.
Tom then scored a four only to be caught off the penultimate delivery.
This meant Romsey needed two to win off the final ball;
a smear to midwicket brought one of the required runs, but not the
other, and so the match was tied
(even in not quite as exciting a fashion as in
2005).
A most enjoyable end to a beautiful day, played with spirit and friendship,
and with memories of John ringing round the bar.
May the summer never end.

Chris Woolley shows off his the result of his recent liposuction
while Geoff Hales averts his eyes.