Thursday, February 12, 2015

How Can You Better Talk To Your Child?

Parenting can be very frustrating at times, and speaking (or having an actual conversation) with your teenager can seem like you are banging your head against a wall! A lot of one word answers.

But what we don’t want to forget is deep down your child does want connect with you: in their own way, in their own time, and on their terms not your terms.

The more connected to their parents, the more comfortable they feel talking to their parents, the more likely your child will stay out of trouble, or come to you if friends are trying to lead them down the wrong path.

We all know the basic rule: Ask Open Ended Questions- don’t ask questions that lead to just a “yes” or “no” answer. But you don’t want the questions to be so broad, “How was school today?” or “What did you do at school today?” that the answer, coming from a tight-lipped teen, ultimately ends up being a “fine,” or “nothing much.” The key is to find the happy medium!

Don’t ask questions like a parole officer. Ask like someone who is genuinely curious.

Don’t ask random questions purely to ask a question. LISTEN to what your teen is saying in the car rides, on their phone (yes, I am advocating eavesdropping) to friends, what they are laughing at, what they don’t like and BUILD from there.

3) Pause. Be a fly on the wall. Just observe your kid for a bit. What songs do they like right now, what TV shows are they watching, what books are they reading, what computer games are they playing: what are they “into” presently- and BUILD from there.