Beautiful Life bored me stiff, but Booyah, despite having a stupid title, is incredibly likeable… at least until it speeds up in the second half. I should mention that the song that James Arthur sings is not the ancient ballad; it’s actually quite good, mind you. It’s just a pity that he decided to practically commit career suicide almost as soon as it was released. I’d never heard Royals properly before – must admit, I really like it. It’s minimal but not for the hell of it, it’s because it’s all the song needs.

Yeah, I’m cynical. I thought Show Me Love (America) was an old Wanted song reworked for the U.S. market and given a release over here, but no, fair enough, America does actually feature in the song’s lyrics. There’s no denying the Wanted’s purple patch of decent songs has ended though, and that’s a shame. I shan’t lie, Children Of The Sun completely washed over me; there was something playing through the speakers but I’m damned if I can recall it now. Story Of My Life is a very well-constructed pop song. Would I buy it? God no, I don’t like it that much, but you can tell when something’s a good example of its genre. Good to have Fatboy Slim back, isn’t it? Well, I think so. I especially like the rambling monologue that runs throughout; top stuff. A third single from Eminem in a matter of weeks? Yup. Luckily, this one’s good; I’d even suggest it’s his best single since Stan.

All right, a joke’s a joke, but Scream And Shout was a year ago – why’s Britney Spears still trying to affect an English accent? The song’s four minutes of insanity, but that seems to be par for the course as far as Britney Spears singles go these days. Move sounds like exactly the sort of thing Girls Aloud would have sold their eternal souls for when they were at the height of their powers – this is a compliment, even if it doesn’t sound like one. Look Right Through is a remix of a 2011 song, and it does sound like a remix too, inasmuch as it feels like something’s been removed during the update.

Go Gentle is indeed gentle, but it’s no classic. Do What U Want has a fairly good tune, but there’s something strange about the video. It’s filled with clips from old Lady Gaga videos, along with what appears to be new footage from a video that’s never been released. I’ve seen clips from a video that was shot for the single, but they’re a bit controversial, even for Lady Gaga. I wonder if the record company saw the original video and thought, “there’s no way that’s going out”. Ellie Goulding’s next, with a video shot entirely on a Nokia Lumia 1020 phone, and with scenes featuring an incredibly large amount of screentime for said phone. Now, I actually have one of these phones, and I think it’s a fantastic phone, but is a music video the best place to advertise it? Next up on And Now A Short Word From Our Sponsors Week, the song from the Christmas 2013 John Lewis advert. Yeah, the one with the bear and the hare. Lovely advert, and a dreamy, wistful, music-boxy take on Keane’s 2004 single. Lily Allen’s version is better too. Animals is good; I wouldn’t say it’s worthy of topping the chart, but I like it anyway.

It’s about time somebody did a response song to the misogyny that’s crept into the Top Ten from time to time, and thank heavens it was Lily Allen who said it. The lyrics are harsh, funny, and a breath of fresh air. Meanwhile, more uplifting radio-friendly pop form Gary Barlow, who pushes a piano through New York at one point pushes a piano through the city. I’d like to have seen him try that in San Francisco. Meanwhile, the Bastille are bloody geniuses. They’ve mashed up Corona’s Rhythm Of The Night and Snap!’s Rhythm Is A Dancer, turned them into one big indie-pop epic and turfed out something really rather wonderful. Well done, chaps.