Attitude

What is attitude? How do we get our attitudes? Are we born with them? Do we inherit or develop them as we grow older? Attitude is a mental state that makes us inclined to a specified thought, behavior, action or reaction. It can be positive or negative. Our attitudes stem from our beliefs. If we believe we are lacking in self-confidence, as far as we are concerned that is our reality even though it is not true that we lack self-confidence. It is true only when we believe it to be so.

Since our attitudes are formed from our beliefs, most of which are usually false, it is essential to evaluate our attitudes and decide which to change or to be got rid of completely. Every attitude we have has a direct affect on how we feel about things around us and how we respond to them. With the right attitude, we can react favourably to events while with a wrong attitude, our negative reactions are very likely to aggravate the situation.

We got our attitudes during our formative years without deliberate intention. It would of course be a lot better to have acquired positive attitudes in our early childhood. But most of the time, we have unintentionally acquired negative attitudes. We form most of our attitudes unconsciously, and as a result of our mental programming, they become habits that are difficult to break. Unless we make changes to them, they last a lifetime. The old negative habits can be changed by replacing with new positive ones. Their replacements are worthy of our serious consideration as it is essential that we possess the right attitudes at all times.

We cannot afford not to have the right attitude for our lives, as a good parent or in whatever we do. Our attitude determines how we live our lives. A positive attitude is essential in all areas of human activities. It provides a whole basis for success regardless of what we do or the field are in. It can also pose an obstacle to progress if we choose to be negative in our thinking.

How we look upon a setback is dependent on the kind of attitude we have. Most of us still hold on attitudes that are no longer of use to us in achieving something or fulfilling a purpose. But very of few of us examine our attitudes to find out if they affect us adversely in our aims in life. When we have developed an awareness of the negative attitudes that we have, we can choose not to be stuck with them any longer. We can decide to change them and our beliefs as well as they are interlinked.

If you had been a frequent victim of adverse criticisms, unfair comments or disparaging remarks in the past and you give credibility to what they said, you are liable to possess the negative types attitudes about yourself. You then behave and act in accordance with them. Whatever opinions others express about you are mostly untrue or not necessarily true but your behaviours and actions serve to confirm their validity. These false beliefs about your own self become not only self-fulfilling prophecies, they invite further criticisms and unfavourable comments.

If we want to experience all that is good in our life, we owe it to ourselves to build and maintain a positive mental attitude. A positive mental attitude is a must in attaining success in almost everything we do. With the wrong mental attitude, a person is unlikely to gain much in life. The right mental attitude gives you the confidence, faith and power to fulfill all your desires. Our mind is capable of only one thought at a time, so let us ensure that every thought that we think of in our mind is a positive one.

You must realize the truth that like everyone else you have enormous potential. You are extremely capable of whatever achievement you set your heart on. But know that you are the only person who can stop yourself from achieving. What places limits on your ability to achieve is your mental attitude. When you cultivate the right attitude, you can fully realize your dreams and react positively to change, and unconsciously create your own good luck.

So bear in mind at all times that the only limitations on what you can achieve in life are the limitations in your mind. Refuse to accept limitations by eliminating false beliefs such as you are too old, too young, too weak, too short or too poor to excel in anything. Believe the very best about yourself and whatever you desire are much more easily attainable. Just make sure that the positive attitudes you develop do fully support you all the way.

All of us throughout our lives develop different attitudes. We do not perceive the reality of what is happening. Rather, we perceive what we think is happening. It is this subjective perception that determines who we are. How else could two siblings from the same family develop contrasting personality traits and lifestyles? Different interpretations of external events create different personalities and attitudes, and in the process make each of us a unique being.

Many of us think we can read the minds of others. Our smile at a friend who does not smile back makes us draw an instant conclusion about him. We conclude he no longer likes us or we have offended him. We are then ready to adopt a negative attitude towards him which means we assume we can read his mind. Little do we realise that there can be other reasons for his ignoring our smile such as being deep in thought about something or having short sight.

How many of us are ready to accept responsibility for our actions? We are ever ready to claim credit when thing goes right. But are we when something goes wrong? Accepting responsibility for what we do clearly reflects our right attitude. Not accepting responsibility does not free us from being morally accountable for our behaviour.

Your attitude is also determined by your expectations. Are your expectations positive or negative? If you expect confidently to achieve what you set out to do or to win, it is highly likely that you will act without hesitation and your expectation will be fulfilled. If you hesitate as you are lacking in confidence, you risk not producing your desired outcome. Having confident expectation without being over-confident is something that should not be overlooked or missed whenever you have to expect.

People who cultivate an attitude of positive expectations are always empowered to act confidently as they expect only good things to happen. They are optimistic people and they expect nothing less than the best. This is characteristic of successful people who chalk up more successes than failures in their life.

Often, your relationships with other people reveal the kind of attitude you own. Your attitude determines your behaviour which affects the way you relate to other people, and the way you relate to other people determines the way they behave toward you. When you expect too much from the other person and when your expectations are not fully met, you feel deeply dissatisfied and this is going to severely strain the relationship between the two of you.

Having the correct attitude when dealing emotionally with other people is just as important. It gives to others an impression of our own selves, and shows how we interact with them. They sense our sincerity or otherwise from our body language, tone of voice and words. When we are warm, friendly and positive, they react accordingly. It is therefore of paramount importance to our relationships with other people that we take full control of our words, actions and behaviour so that a lasting relationship is ensured.

It’s no easy task to maintain a positive attitude for many moody people. Despite their constant effort to think positively, they are continuously bombarded with negative thoughts. They are not able to control external events but they can control their thinking and thus their attitude and the way they respond to those events. By changing their perceptions of external events, they can greatly reduce if not totally eliminate the negative thoughts reaching them, and replace these thoughts with positive ones.

Your attitudes affect your feelings and how you perform in life. Most importantly, they affect how you interact with other people – your loved ones, your friends and colleagues. A right attitude determines the success or failure in leading the kind of life you want.