Advice on almost anything…

Good morning and Happy New Year!

Dharma decided to join the masses and add to the message that practically everyone is sending 2016. That it can just eff off and crawl back into the hole it slithered out of. Seriously. Just be done and leave us the hell alone.

By now you’ve been inundated with list upon list of lost celebrities. Such a disastrous year, so much talent lost, it’s really quite unbelievable.

Starting the year with the loss of David Bowie should have provided us with a strong sense of foreshadowing. Such an iconic figure from the 70’s and 80’s who stayed creative until the very end. The fact that he wrote and produced his very last album knowing he was dying rather than submit to the reality says it all. He chose to look that nasty bitch cancer straight in the eye and redefine things in his own terms. So very cool and courageous, the thought of it still gives me goosebumps.

The year continued to be peppered with losses in all areas of artistry but then the world thought we really needed something to shake us up. Taking our Purple Genius away was the sure fire way to accomplish that. Drowning in our purple tears, Prince’s abrupt departure left a pall that still hasn’t quite subsided. Dharma’s heart broke as she responded to an equally suffering fan in Even the Doves are Crying.

And it didn’t stop there.

The rest of the year was littered with carnage, ranging from Muhammad Ali to Leonard Cohen (thank you Leonard, for Hallelujah – our time here is so much richer for that masterpiece) as if the Creator were executing a mass murder of the landscape of our times.

And then? Really? To demonstrate exactly how much of an A1 asshole 2016 could be, the meanest and nastiest Grinch of all was given permission to sneak up on us on Christmas Day – Christmas Day! – and steal my beloved George Michael while he slept. WTF. No, seriously. W.T.F.

My second truest love – and only second to Michael Jackson – George brought me out of my tweens complete with a love struck expression that has never entirely faded. He provided a consistently solid soundtrack for pretty much the next 15 years of my life, which still gets played to this day. We were supposed to marry, but just couldn’t quite make it work.

I have all the albums, the Choose Life sweatshirt and T-shirt, and three invaluable tickets stubs, the first being from the Faith tour in 1988. How I didn’t catch his eye as I hung off the balcony railings screaming my undying love, I’ll never understand.

Enough’s enough, right?

2016 should have been pleased with all the destruction it provided with just the celebrity massacre it dealt us, but seemingly it wasn’t enough. There was yet another impressive gift to deliver upon us by the name of Donald Trump.

The idea that we as a society had made so much progress in terms of equality in whatever form you care to think about (racial, LGBT and even us mere little women) was clearly an illusion. Haha, for a few minutes there, we actually were thinking that everyone should have the same rights as middle aged white men! Funny, right?

But no. Because any country that would elect this cheeto-haired, chauvinistic bigot tells us that most of the progress had to have been a fallacy. The next 4 years will be… interesting.

So many other things to make 2016 a year to forget… From increased global climate change to BREXIT, the European refugee crisis and the redesign of the Toblerone bar (come on!!) – 2016 can most seriously piss off.

As a side note – how many of us have heard from friends, or just looked into our own lives to see the nasty results of the year… deaths, health scares, finances, broken relationships – nothing went unscathed. So again? Bite me, 2016.

However. There was one shining star that took over our lives this year, and his name is Bob. Bob the Dog. He joined our little family on January 1, and by far, one of the best decisions we’ve ever made. He fills everyday with light and love, and occasionally a really bad smell. But we keep him anyways, and can’t imagine our home without him.

In your face, 2016.

Dharma

Got a question for Dharma? She’s probably got an answer!

Go on, submit your question in thecontact form on thetoolbar. You know you want to! To submit anonymously, just make up a fake name and email – as long as the fields are populated, it works!