Thursday, April 29, 2010

Telemarketers…

I’ve been working as an office manager for the last 16 years and one of my duties is to answer the phone. Of course I route the calls and take messages, but I also need to screen them for telemarketers and cold calls. Over the years I have become quite adept at this. I will ask them who is calling and what their call is regarding; then tell them I will forward their message and their call will be returned if there is any interest; basically it’s nicer than just hanging up on them. I do understand that this is their suck ass job, but part of mine is as ‘The Gate Keeper’.

Last week I got a call from an investment banker (Note to any investment bankers: stop sounding like a used car salesman and pretending that you’re a close friend of the owner/president of the company because I know you’re not. Also, I can hear the noise of all your cohorts doing the same thing in the background.); and I asked him what his call was regarding. He decided to push my buttons be pushy and act like he was a friend of the owner. Uhm-a-no. Been working here for three years and I know that you’re not. I ended up hanging up on him but also noted the company name on the caller ID and the name that he gave me.

Today he called again…and used a different name. I told him that if he expected even the slightest chance of me forwarding his message he would have to tell me what it was regarding. He insisted that it was ‘confidential’ and couldn’t tell me. We gave each other shit for a bit before I hung up on him. Then? Then I decided I needed a little entertainment in my day. I Googled the name on the caller ID and called his office. When I asked for the name he had given I was told there was no one there by that name. I then told the receptionist that he had just called me a few minutes ago. She did the ole “Oops, hold please….I’m sorry, there is.”, and transferred me. The jerk picked up the phone and…

Jerk: “Can I help you?”Me: “I don’t know. Can you?”Jerk: “What are you looking for?”Me: “I can’t tell you, it’s confidential.”Jerk: “Well (pause), why are you calling me?”Me: “Why do you keep calling me?”Jerk: …crickets…Me: “How do you like it?”

I know, a tad immature; but I’m curious to see if he’ll call again. If so…Game On!