Dueling Potato Brothers: The Collected Oasis Fights and Insults

With just three syllables expressed in all-caps, Liam Gallagher made a compelling argument back in May that Oasis might be more entertaining apart than they were together. “POTATO”: What an amazing insult. It’s petty, but ultimately harmless. When screamed in the schoolyard, it’s not likely to get anyone in too much hot water, but on the receiving end, it inexplicably stings.

When it comes to slinging insults, Liam and Noel Gallagher are artisans. And sure, new Oasis music or reunion shows could be amazing, but more amazing than watching one Gallagher tweet that his brother looks like a root vegetable?

Not to make complete light of a fraught situation. Sometimes, it’s gotten ugly and physical. Legal battles have ensued. And really, it’s never fun when two siblings trade poisonous barbs. But in the age of Twitter, the war has become a seemingly harmless, often hilarious spectator sport. And so, we’ve compiled an (obviously incomplete) history of the forever feuding Gallagher brothers’ fights and traded insults.

1994: During an L.A. concert, Liam changes the words of “Live Forever” to annoy his brother. (“Maybe I don’t really wanna know/Why you pick your nose”—scathing stuff.) He also hits Noel over the head with a tambourine and insults the American crowd. Noel briefly leaves the band, but rejoins them later that tour. This becomes a recurring theme for the next 15 years—breakups, begrudging returns, boyfights.

1994: During a now-legendary interview with NME’s John Harris, Noel and Liam spend an entire conversation sniping at each other. Most of the conversation is a fight over whether rock’n’roll is about the music or about living a wild, “genuine,” spontaneous life. Noel calls Liam a dick and a schlepper. Liam calls Noel a dickhead, a teetotal, a “fuckin' priest,” and even declares, point-blank, “you’re not rock‘n’roll.” They repeatedly shout “fuck off” and talk about how they hate each other. An excerpt about Liam getting thrown off a ferry:

Noel: If you're proud about getting thrown off ferries, then why don't you go and support West Ham and get the fuck out of my band and go and be a football hooligan, right? ‘Cause we're musicians, right? We're not football hooligans.

Later, Liam tells Noel to “stick your thousand pounds right up your fuckin’ arse 'till it comes out your fuckin' big toe.” In 1995, audio of that interview was released as a bootleg dubbed “Wibbling Rivalry”—easily one of the best Oasis records (though, technically, the listed artist is “Oas*s”).

1995: Liam invites a large group of people he’d just met at the pub to the studio where the band was recording (What’s the Story) Morning Glory?. Noel, who was trying to record, tells everyone to leave and ends up hitting Liam over the head with a cricket bat—a significantly more dense object than a tambourine. Naturally, the cricket bat was eventually sold with a certificate of authenticity ensuring its contact with Liam’s skull. The brothers hugged it out, though.

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1996: Just before the band’s “MTV Unplugged” taping, Liam—who barely attended rehearsals—claims he has a sore throat and backs out of the show. Noel sings instead, and during the performance, Liam heckles his brother about his singing while drinking champagne in the balcony. As the taping winds down, the show’s producers ask the band to perform their first song one more time. Liam, suddenly feeling much better, attempts to join the band on stage. Noel, of course, tells him to “piss off.”

1998: Liam and Noel enter a wrestling ring. Noel rips off Liam’s unibrow, slaps him around with it, and then applies it to his brother’s upper lip, giving him an oversized mustache. Liam begins chucking beer bottles at Noel, and Noel retaliates by shoving a beer bottle down Liam’s throat. Then, prop comic Gallagher runs out to the ring and smashes both of their heads with an enormous hammer. “This is a sad day indeed for fans of Beatles imitators everywhere,” says the commentator. Small technicality: This is “Celebrity Deathmatch.” Watch the devastating events unfold at the 10:30 mark:

2000: During touring downtime in Barcelona, the Gallaghers are drinking (obviously). At some point, Liam decides to question the legitimacy of Noel’s child. Noel leaps onto his brother, hits him repeatedly, and splits his lip open in the process. Noel leaves the tour, but ultimately returns to the band yet again. “I’ve never forgiven him because he’s never apologized,” Noel said five years after the incident. Liam would eventually apologize.

2002: Liam walks off stage in Japan. Noel would later describe the incident as a “diva fit,” saying Liam threw his tambourine to the ground “like a woman” before bouncing. Note that once again, a tambourine plays a crucial role in the two brothers’ ongoing feud.

2002: Liam reportedly kicks a police officer in the chest and is involved in a fight with multiple people. He’s so badly beaten in the incident, he loses several teeth. Noel’s reply: “All I’m bothered about is that he can still sing.”

2005: In an interview, Noel claims that he has mindfucked his brother: “He’s actually frightened to death of me. I can read him and I can fucking play him like a slightly disused arcade game. I can make him make decisions that he thinks are his but really they’re mine.”

2008: Noel reacts to Liam’s interviews: “I don’t know who the guy is who’s in these interviews, he seems really cool, because the guy I’ve been in a band with for the last 18 years is a fucking knobhead.”

2009: Noel on Liam in an interview with Q: “He’s rude, arrogant, intimidating, and lazy. He’s the angriest man you’ll ever meet. He’s like a man with a fork in a world of soup.”

2009: Noel quits Oasis for real and releases a statement: “I simply could not go on working with Liam a day longer.” Two years later, he details his falling out with Liam during a press conference for his new band, High Flying Birds. Noel discusses what transpired before they were supposed to go on stage at the Rock en Seine festival:

[Liam] was quite violent. At that point there hadn’t been any physical violence, but it was a bit like WWE wrestling, and he was like the Macho Man Randy Savage—he was like oooh yeah and all that going on—and it’s like, “Fucking hell.” ... Liam does the “Fuck you and fuck you and fuck you” and he kind of storms out of the dressing room. And—I’m glad it never ended like this—on the way out he picked up a plum and he threw it across the dressing room and it smashed against the wall. Part of me wishes it did end like that, that would have been a great headline: “Plum Throws Plum and Finishes Fuckin’ Oasis.”

Then he kind of leaves, he goes out the dressing room. For whatever reason he went to his own dressing room and he came back with a guitar and he started wielding it like an axe. I’m not fucking kidding. And I’m making light of it because it’s kind of what I do, but it’s a real unnecessary violent act, and he’s swinging this guitar around, and he nearly took my face off with it. It ended up on the floor and I put it out of its misery. … There were people who were in the band, not saying anything, kind of looking the other way. It wasn’t even a big dressing room. And I was like, you know what? I’m fucking out of here. And at that point the tour manager came in and said, “Five minutes!” … I kind of got in the car and I sat there for five minutes and I just said fuck it, I can’t do it anymore.

Following the press conference, Liam sues Noel for libel, specifically taking issue with Noel saying “he didn’t turn up to the V Festival gig because he had a hangover. He claimed he had laryngitis, but whatever.” After Noel apologizes, the lawsuit is dropped. Liam also denies Noel’s claims that they argued over Liam wanting to advertise his clothing label in the tour program.

2010: During an acceptance speech at the BRIT Awards for an award honoring (What’s the Story) Morning Glory?, Liam thanks everyone in the band except Noel. For almost any other band, that’s shady as hell; for Oasis, that’s practically a compliment.

2011: Liam calls Noel’s band the “High Flying Turds.” When Noel announces their debut album, Liam tweets, simply, “SHITBAG.” (“SHITBAG” doesn’t quite have the same satisfying gestalt of “POTATO,” but it gets the job done.)

2013: Liam calls Noel a “geezer” and “one of the biggest cocks in the universe.” (On quick read, it’s easy to see how that last part could be misinterpreted as a compliment.)

2016: After declaring “FUCK OASIS,” Liam tweets a photo of Noel alongside the word “POTATO.” Noel, like the rest of us, tries to make sense of this, responding, “I guess it was about him staying relevant.”

In a wildly memorable interview, Liam gives Noel the business for living in a £17 million house and befriending Bono and Damon Albarn. “Lots of people say I need to chill out about Noel,” Liam adds. “Not until they stop Twitter. That cunt will always get it from me.” Let’s all pray he’s telling the truth.

October 2016: At the premiere of the Oasis documentary Supersonic, Liam says he’s open to an Oasis reunion. Then, when asked if Noel will also be in attendance, he replies: “Oh no, he won’t be here. He’s in one of his really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really big houses. Probably eatin’ tofu while havin’ a fuckin’ face peel, isn’t that right, man of the people?”

April 2017: Damon Albarn buried the hatchet with his former rival Noel Gallagher with a new Gorillaz collaboration called “We’ve Got the Power.” Albarn said in an interview, “I thought it might be cute, the idea of us singing about the power to love each other.” Liam, of course, wasn’t having it. “That gobshite out of Blur might have turned Noel Gallagher into a massive girl but believe you me next time I see him there's gonna be war,” he tweeted.

June 2017: Liam Gallagher made an unannounced appearance at the One Love Manchester benefit concert, which raised money to support the victims and families affected by the bombing at Ariana Grande’s Manchester concert. At the time, rumors ran rampant about a potential Oasis reunion. Alas, Noel didn’t show up. Liam called his brother a “sad fuck,” adding, “Fuck the reunion mate it ain't about Oasis it's about people helping other people and he's once again shown his true fucking colours.” (See those below.)

July 2017: Liam offers his response when asked if he’d like to see Noel open for U2:

August 2017: In a wide-ranging interview that included his disdain for salt water (“Fuck the sea. I ain’t going in that.”), Liam called Noel “a fuckin’ stalker” and a “working class traitor.” He also questioned Noel’s U2 allegiance: “I never heard him play one fuckin’ U2 song. And believe you me, I was there at the beginning and the fuckin’ end.”

September 2017: Four months after being slammed by Liam for not appearing at One Love Manchester, Noel headlined a benefit concert at Manchester Arena (the site of the bombing). Noel broke down into tears, which prompted Liam to respond, “NG broke down in tears cmon you seriously ain't buying that he doesn’t give a fuck. Don't buy into his PR stunt he doesn't give a fuck if the same thing had have gone of in Edinburgh he'd been up there like a shot ahem.”

October 2017: Noel was asked about his brother’s Manchester criticisms. “He needs to see a psychiatrist,” he said. “I don’t say that as a joke. Because young Mancunians, young music fans, were slaughtered, and he, twice, takes it somewhere to be about him. He needs to see somebody.” Liam responded, “As for seeing somebody I bet you and the mrs have got a few on the go you pair of chameleons.”

November 2017: The High Flying Birds’ performance on “Jools Holland” becomes noteworthy when a member of the band clips scissors into the microphone. Liam was asked about the addition to his brother’s band, and soon enough, he put out a call for a unique band member of his own. “Im looking for somebody to peel some spuds live on stage tnight at this gig in Bethnal Green,” he wrote. “Must have own peeler.” Sure enough, potato peelers started showing up at Liam’s shows.

When asked about the scissors, Noel admitted he knew it would drive his brother nuts. “It’s almost like she’s snipping away at the last ribbons of Liam’s sanity,” he said.

November 2017: During his segment of Pitchfork’s “Over/Under,” Noel was asked to rate Twitter. After calling it “the playground of fucking idiots,” it was pointed out that Trump is a regular of the platform. “And so is my fucking brother,” he replied, “and quite literally, I’d put the pair of ‘em in a driverless car each so it fuckin’ ran into each other.”

December 2017: Days before Christmas, Liam claimed he had spoken to Noel’s team and that the two sides had reached a “truce.” “It’s all good—season of goodwill and all that, you know,” he told the Sydney Morning Herald. He even tweeted a Christmas greeting to his brother:

January 2018: Liam tweets, “Fuck the truce.” Clearly, he was upset with his brother over some recent interviews he’d given. In one, Noel said he wasn’t interested in reuniting Oasis. “I don’t particularly want to be a stadium rocker when I’m 50, I think it’s undignified.” Liam responded, “It's a lot more undignified to be supporting the undignified in stadiums RHCP U2 blah.”

In another interview, Noel took shots at artists like Liam, Richard Ashcroft, and Ed Sheeran who enlisted an “army of songwriters” to work on their songs. He also claimed that he, Paul Weller, and Johnny Marr were the only British rock solo artists to write their own songs. Liam responded:

January 2018: Liam gets nominated at the 2018 BRIT Awards, and Noel does not. “So the creepy 1 gets blanked at the Brits,” he wrote. “oh well was looking forward to hurling abuse at him and his poshos from across the room.” He later claimed that he was invited to host the show, but declined: “I ain't setting there table cooking the food then doing the dishes fuck that I'd rather be stung by a heard of goats.”