Thursday, December 31, 2009

I got through a huge portion of yesterday's list: coffee, lunch, the disappearance of christmas, vacuuming, food, reading, GLEE!!! did not wash the floors [I forgot and won't be doing it until tomorrow!]. did not shred bills. did not do the card thing. 7 out of 10 is pretty damn good. and now I am sitting and watching "the Soloist" with John. not very often we get to do that together on a thursday afternoon. happy.

it's got to be a good thing to end off both the year and the decade in happy mode. at the beginning of this decade I knew John, but we didn't start dating until the march of 2000. almost 1o years. 10 mainly good, usually great, occasionally unsure years. but really, 10 years. crazy!

was I happy when this decade started? was I even remotely content? I have no idea. okay, I have an idea. I was completely miserable. lonely. self-destructive. a hater. a cynic. I hated myself and I hated my life. I don't like to think of who I was back then. when I think about it, I become incredibly grateful for redemption. and grace. and a god who loves me regardless. and then I remember that I must daily do this for others. exemplify redemption, grace and love. I am so glad that I am ending this decade in a much better place than I started it. this is a very good thing.

other than number 6, potentially all of these could really get accomplished. so, I went to weight watchers today. the last time I had been was nov 28th, so it had been a month. and, I only gained 3lbs. I am quite pleasantly surprised, since I was so sure I had gained 10lbs and would be starting back in square one. so, I've set a goal for this week: I am going to track EVERYTHING - good or bad. I am going to drink 6-8 glasses of water per day. I am going to go on an alcohol fast as of friday morning. january 1 until feb 1st. one month. I have had more booze in the month of december that it's embarrassing. seriously. martini's and margarita's have more calories than I really need in my body. and I have seriously been drunk almost every weekend this month. I am flippin' 37 years old and have no business getting drunk all the time. so, detox for the month of january. I am also contemplating cutting out sugar, but that may send my system into complete shock, so for now I will track everything and replace booze with water!!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

I read this blog post today [love her!] and then tracked most all of what I ate and did 30 serious minutes on my mom's treadmill. and tomorrow morning, I am going back to weight watchers. it's been nearly a month and I am pretty sure I've put on a few, just purely with all the booze I've inhaled this christmas. EEEEKKKK! to make myself feel better, I am drinking some baileys.

yesterday was a bit crazed, time wise and then I attempted to partition my time capsule/time machine thingy and this lead to some restoring, some erasing and some overnight backing up. still not too sure if I did it correctly, since I was really wanting part of this drive mounting on my computer. and some of you are reading and saying "blah, blah, blah". I get it. needless to say, my computer spent 12+ hours hard wired to the time capsule having a grand ol' time being backed up.

speaking of geek stuff, John & I watched the new star trek movie this past weekend and LOVED. it. seriously. was I ever remotely cool? because I know that now I am just a geek. I think I'm okay with that.

so my apple/mac one-to-one membership expired as of yesterday and I'm feeling a bit sad about that. I may renew. I was unaware that now it's only available to brand new mac owners. so I fall into a bit of a different category over there. I feel like really I know a lot, but am just generally forgetful. and in some cases, I know more that the trainers. not too sure how I feel about that. things to ponder.

alas, it's officially my first of three days in a quiet, quiet house. I hardly slept last night, so I may just go back to sleep. movie plans this afternoon - maybe sherlock holmes, if I'm lucky.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

okay, so Allison blogged an advent calendar of blog posts [everyday for the 24 days leading up to Christmas. I think I am going to blog an un-advent calendar [the 24 day leading away from Christmas]. I am already a day late.

so Christmas in the Fraser house was pretty nice. busy, but nice. just the right amount of family time. and the kids were really great. until today. today is payback for the late nights and the early mornings. oh well. reality had to hit at some time. tomorrow [until thursday] they are off to the dayhome so I can have 4 days of peace and quiet. or 4 days of cleaning up the post-Christmas mess!

I went to Connie's last night to drink and hang out. we ended up watching rent - one of my FAVORITE musicals. I would love to see it on broadway someday. a serious "must-do" in my life time. which got me thinking of other things I want to do in my life time. I'd like to say that I could share this list, but so far I only have one thing on it. I think that it's kinda ironic that I haven't thought about this before now, since I am totally a future thinker [it's my new self-analysis. like it?]. I am usually a planner in my head. I make lists, dates, add to calendars and live my life accordingly. and, in my defense, it's how I make my life generally work with work, kids, husband, church, family, fun, friends, etc. I am really all about what is going to happen later, tomorrow, next week. this is not really a bad thing. in fact, I am good with my futuristic thought patterns and life. HOWEVER, in being this way, I do need to force myself to slow down and enjoy the moment. I spend a lot of time talking and planning and worrying about the future and perhaps I don't balance it with living in the present. and here comes the rent tie-in. these are the lyrics from my favorite rent song. although I don't plan to go from being an unbalanced futuristic thinker to an unbalanced "present-only" thinker, the lyrics do resonate with me in a way that perhaps I need to consider.

The heart may freeze or it can burnThe pain will ease if I can learn

There is no futureThere is no pastThank God this moment's not the last

There's only usThere's only thisForget regret-- or life is yours to miss.No other roadNo other wayNo day but today

There's only yesOnly tonightWe must let goTo know what is alright

No other courseNo other wayNo day but todayI can't control My destinyI trust my soulMy only hope is just to be

There's only nowThere's only hereGive in to loveOr live in fearNo other pathNo other wayNo day but today

so, today, I will endeavour to just enjoy today. and then tomorrow, I will try to do the same. and just really work on living with no regret, whether I make it to NYC to see rent or not.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

I am at home today - yes, it is torturous of me to leave a sub with my class on the last week of school before Christmas break, I know. I felt a bit off yesterday morning and should have just stayed home in the first place, but no, I drove all the way in and just sat in my chair starring off into space, until I could handle no more. so I ditched my class at 11:00 and drove all the way home.

my symptoms, other than the lovely cold I have, include the chills [like seriously, warmth was NO where to be found], sore skin, and the lower half of my body just ached. laying in bed was torture. it felt like my blood was pooling. there is no way to describe this, other to say that there were spotty aches on the sides of my legs that were touching a surface. then this morning, a miracle happened. I woke up feeling like it had all been in my head. no chills, no soreness. the cough is back, but hey, that is a familiar. the only lingering thing I have is these large red spots on my right shin. they're tender and feel/look like an allergic reaction. SO STRANGE! so, don't know what I have/had. if this was the H1N1, then it wasn't so bad. if this is just the prelude to the flu, then EEEEKKKK!!!

personally, I think that I may just be allergic to cold weather. we've had an unbelievable cold stretch - like 4-5 days lingering in the -35/-40+ weather. like brutal. honestly, I enjoy winter. I love how the snow looks and feels under my feet. I love how it makes a city incredibly silent. I just love winter in the -10/-15 range, not any colder! so, I am sticking to my story of my sudden illness being my body just having an allergic reaction to the steady cold. today is warmer, hence the miracle recovery!!

so, I am still taking the day off [had made that decision yesterday when I felt like a smushed cracker]. I think I may shower. go to the drug store. make some cards. so exciting!

Saturday, December 05, 2009

so we're house bound. ventured out into the great big world of snow today and ended up with a blown out tire on one car and another car a bit suck in the snow. after some help, we got home from the gingerbread house making party in one piece, and set up christmas. it's a bit nuts. oh well, we'll try again tomorrow!!

know how I was wishing for snow? well, be careful what you wish for - we went from BONE DRY to 10+ cm of snow in 24 hours. honestly, it's not the actual snow that I have issues with. I like the snow. it's like magic. the whole "leaving in the dark" [aka 7am] and "coming home in the dark" [aka 430pm] seems all a bit less dark with the whiteness of the snow. I actually want to pull out the Christmas tree tonight. magic.

HOWEVER [and you knew that was coming!], I hate how the city of edmonton can't seem to get the graters out. especially on the side streets. I rather dislike driving my little car in this heaping street mess as well. and I especaially dislike how all the truck drivers in this town [and THAT is a high ratio] seem to think that they own the road. and can go any speed they want, regardless of the road conditions. I spent 2.5 hours on the road yesterday [just going to and from school] and hated every minute of it. however, slow and steady wins the race! maybe when we head out today, the roads will be in better shape, but I have no hope for edmonton drivers!!

in other news...

1. I was going to post the pictures of the cards we did last week for the christmas card thingy I hosted. I'll see if I can find them and show them off.

2. I know I haven't talked about weight watchers lately. I've been going fairly regularly, and the scale has stayed pretty much the same since september. I am fighting feeling really discouraged about this. it's been a year since I joined and I am in no way belittling the fact that I am 20lbs lighter than I was last year. I had just hoped for double. thing is, I need to own this. be proud of it. not make light of my accomplishments. and forge ahead. I know this program works for me. and I would love to write a similar post next year saying that I've lost 20 more. so what's holding me back? laziness. my dislike for hard work. my ability to stop talking about it when I don't want to be accountable. boredom. my love of food. my need to feed my stress. you know them all. am I proud of the year I've had? absolutely. I lost a small one-year old off my ass and walked the equivalent of a marathon this year. I did 7 weeks of bikram. I've been going to my exercise every chance I can. I feel better and xl t-shirts are too big. my tendency is to be okay with this. this is my mantra: DO HARD THINGS [get your mind out of the gutter!] it's about doing things that are difficult because all good things come with some seriously hard work.

3. I signed up with norwex.

4. I really am so lucky that I get to go to work everyday with people I respect and care about. I love my job. I love my students. I feel so fortunate to be in this time, in this place, doing what I get to do.

5. we get to make gingerbread houses at my cousins house this afternoon. this is one of my favorite traditions. it's going to be CRAZY fun!

6. have you been watching glee??? why not? the world is being overrun with crap reality shows. support the good stuff! oh, and if you're not already watching it, FNL makes a comeback in Canada in january - you should be watching FNL too!!!

7. gonna take a shower now. oh. maybe I'm out of time. perhaps a hat will do the trick!!

Saturday, November 28, 2009

eeekkkkk! is christmas closing in quickly or is it just me? why does it feel fast? and what the heck happened to november? although I am not complaining about the weather [it's be BEAUTIFUL here], maybe I'm complaining about the lack of snow [SHOCKING!]. here in the lovely alberta, we are accustom to it "feeling" like Christmas this time of year - the cold, the mountains of snow, how the lights look with the snow...there is NONE of that this year. it's dark. it's dreary. and it's fairly warm. like I said, I can live with the warm, but it's throwing my christmas spirit off big time! I have a huge christmas card thingy tomorrow, so I hope the combination of christmas cards, christmas music and the smell of mulled cider may just do the trick! and if it does work, perhaps I'll haul the tree upstairs and decorate.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

so it's really easy to say that life is busy, that there's not really time to stop and spend a few moments reflecting on my day, my week, my life. although in many ways it's true, it's partly because I put myself on the back burner when life gets a bit hectic. and really, [and this will be a shock to you, so brace yourselves!] I blog for my sanity, not because anyone really reads this. okay, sorry to the two of you that are faithful readers! so, I want to take a pause and just take this blog post to be thankful for a few things:

1. I am thankful that I have a wonderful job that I really love. it's hard to be thankful in the middle of IPP, report card and PTI season, but I am very grateful that I can provide for my family with a job that I adore.

2. I am thankful for all my stamping buddies. I let myself feel criticized [I'm sure it was how I took it vs. how it was intended] about why I sell stampin' up! and I made myself feel "less than" when defending how I do things with my business. lately I have been really reflecting on the "why" and I am so thankful that I keep going with this business just purely because of the relationships I have formed and the joy that just the thought of the girls I meet with monthly, occasionally and sometimes just yearly.

3. I am thankful for my kids. I talk a lot of crap sometimes, mainly because parenting is maybe the hardest job I've ever had, but I do love my kids. I love how Nate is learning to read and tells me how "when two vowels go a'walking the first one does the talking" and how Ty sings everything and can play Nate's batman song on the piano better than Nate can!

4. I am thankful for my husband. he's not the most talkative guy, nor the best communicator. however, he loves me best and I love him best. he treats me better than I often treat myself and for that I am so thankful.

5. I am thankful for all the people past and present that invest in my life. I could start with my parents, but really, the list is quite lengthy. some people I've lost touch with. some people I am still friends with. some people were there for a time and a place. some people have been along for a big part of the ride. but everyone has played a part and invested something of themselves in my life. and for that, I am eternally thankful.

Friday, October 30, 2009

don't even know how to make this "#500-worth". perhaps I could be eloquent. yeah, don't think so. perhaps I could be funny. doubt that one too. I may be able to produce pictures...THAT will work! thank you for reading all the time, lovely blog-readers...some of you are new, but some of you are old friends. I appreciate each of you!

xoxo

[a reminder of what I'll be doing tomorrow - dealing with batman and his little brother...batman!]

Thursday, October 29, 2009

do you see your potential? do you do things that may be risky, knowing that there is a good chance you'll succeed? yeah, me neither. turns out that I think I need a coach. I coach a lot of people - I think it's the teacher in me - I see potential in people who don't see it in themselves, while I sit here not seeing it at all in my own self. odd, eh? for me there's always been a fine line between confidence and arrogance and in trying so hard not to be arrogant, my confidence has turned to mush.

I have this huge deal presentation at a pd session on monday. I was REALLY stressed about it. like over the top stressed. well, I had a chat with one of my coaches and realized that he wouldn't have asked me to step on the ice if he didn't really believe that I couldn't score the goal. within that conversation, I found peace. he believes in me. it gave me permission to believe in myself. although I still have no clear view of my potential, my coaches do. and there are more of them out there than I realize - maybe it's time to start trusting what they have to tell me.

and in other news...

yeah, so overwhelmed with the above presentation that there hasn't been other news!!!

Saturday, September 05, 2009

it has taken me 9 flippin' months, but I finally reached my 10% weight loss goal. HOLY DINAH! perhaps my new goal can be to do the next 10% in a third of that time! regardless, there is 10% less of me today than when I first got on that evil scale. I have walked a half marathon in that time, did close to 8 weeks of bikram yoga, and have begun training for another half. I ate an unknown quantity of fat-free cool whip. and I am gaining control of my life in so many areas. that's that part that feels really great. okay, looking better in my clothes feels pretty decent too. so the next goal is not monumental and I hope it's without a ton of fanfare, but the last time I lost some weight [like 3 years ago] I couldn't get below a 25 lb weight loss. SO. I need to lose 7 more pounds to get past that hurdle. since I started at a higher weight this time, it will be closer to 28lbs gone when I get to that point, but regardless that next 7lbs are pretty important ones. the weight I will be at that point is not one that I can ever recall being in my adult life. okay, so I have a short memory and didn't actually weigh myself for an entire decade, but I'm still going with it.

I did some reading on weight loss plateaus recently and the word that resounded was: PERSEVERE. hold on. endure. press on. I am reminded of a Donnie McClurkin song from over 10 years ago where it says:

Tell me what do you do when you've done all you can, And it seems like you can't make it through, Child you just stand, You just stand, Stand, Don't you give up, Through the storm , through the rain, Through the hurt , through the pain...Don't you bow, don't bend Don't give up, don't give in Hold on, just be strong...

there's a whole bunch more, but this is the part that resonates. just be strong. don't give up. it applies to so many things, doesn't it...

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

today was a pretty okay day over all - the school part of my life is fairly predictable, fairly routine and occasionally over-the-top drama. today was good.

nate started grade one today, and I was a bad mom. he went to school with another kid, not a parent in sight. now, I know that doesn't really make me a bad mom, because I know darn well that the reason he had a good start to his day is because there was no adult there to cling to and cry with. I know my kid. on the other hand, the time between 5 pm and 7 pm has left a lot to be desired. I know he's tired. I am too. I know he worked hard today. I did too. I know he should be in bed. I should be too. tired mom, tired kid. not a great combination. good thing I get another go at this whole mom thing tomorrow. maybe one day I'll get it right. for today, I'll wear the crown of "bad mom" and tomorrow I will strive to leave it on the shelf. tomorrow, John and I will begin with plan A. I don't really want to jinx it by talking about it, but it does have to do with being fully attentive to our children and NOT our computers, tv's, iPhones, etc for the hours of 4-7pm. I know the problem is with us, not solely with them. I can fix me, especially when I don't feel like I can fix them right at this moment. phew.

Monday, August 17, 2009

so, I've been feeling really out of sorts this last bit. I've blamed it on too much family time [the love-hate relationship of vacation!], not enough sleep, not enough booze, the time change, the weather...I even commented to john last week when I was all weepy and weird, the I thought I may be pregnant. THAT'S how out of sorts I was. just cranky. did it occur to me that I was pms'ing? no! that was still a week away! yeah. it explains EVERYTHING [and so no, not pregnant!]. needless to say, while on vacation, I've been going to weight watchers meetings. in the US. in oroville. I tell ya, they are the NICEST people. some lady gave me a cucumber from her garden tonight! such a small gathering, but I was totally inspired. last week and again tonight. last week I was down .4 and this week down .2 - not too bad considering the above confession...and being on vacation! not to mention, I normally have a 3-4lb span between am and pm. in edmonton, I go to a morning meeting. here, it was 5pm. if I haven't kicked some ass when I weigh in at home, I'll be surprised. anyways, that's the story.

tonight I am sitting an enjoying the heat. and some cherries. and a glass of gehringer bros. merlot. life is good.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

well, the weather has sucked, but we've been to a bunch of wineries over the last few days:hester creek, burrowing owl, silver sage, tinhorn creek, road 13...to name a few! the ol' camera died out just as we were pulling up to hester creek, but I'll post some photos of a few other places... [oh, and we went on the first ever Fraser-Family-Nature-Walk...NEVER again! I'll tell that story a different time!]

Saturday, August 08, 2009

well, we made it to BC in one piece. all kids are still alive and we still kinda like them! 13 hours in a car with a 4 yr old and a 6 yr old is rather INSANE, but really, the kids did exceptionally well! we were up at 3 am, packed up the car, threw the kids in and just went. the boys were awake until hinton [SUPER excited]. I gave them some gravol to get over the mountains and they generally slept on and off until kamloops. then the 45 minutes of hell began. okay, so I'll blame the mcdonald's on their general demeanor, but it really might be that I, the driver at this point, couldn't solve problems. john was asleep [until rudely awakened by piercing screams!]. needless to say, I pulled out the ol' gravol and they settled down, and in fact fell asleep near pentiction...and slept all until we woke them up in the parkade under our building. SWEET! a swim, some food and some well deserved tv time and they were sound asleep again by 8pm!

the weather here is GORGEOUS! and we spent all afternoon today at the pool. I'll post some pictures soon!

Friday, July 31, 2009

everyone's a winner. okay, the FOUR of you. email me your mailing addresses and keep an eye on your mailboxes. allison, I can send your treat to germany, if you'd like...!!

in other news, I have spent the last four days at lake wabaman with Connie and Ty. as a result, I have a lovely sunburn [AGAIN] and I haven't been to a yoga class in 4 days. EEEEKKKKKK! good thing there's a weekend, so I can get back on track!

have a great, safe long weekend! [oh, and only 7 more sleeps until we leave for osoyoos. YIPPIE!!!!]

Monday, July 27, 2009

really. you all know it. I'm just stating the facts! as I type, there have been 10013 visitors to my lovely blog-o-rama! last week I had said that I was going to post a picture of some blog-candy. YEAH. like THAT happened. seriously, I just forgot. REGARDLESS, today is the day. there is no picture, but I will randomly choose someone from the comments left between today [it's 9:46 MST] and wednesday sometime [let's be random and say...9:46 MST???]. I would do it tomorrow, but I am out at the lake and will be forgetting in a mass of martini or margarita!

this is what the winner will receive: [I was contemplating this during yoga class tonight...] a handmade accordion album using all current SU! product. I will mail it to you and you can just SLAP in your pictures!!

there it is!

and in other random news...

I was up a pound at WW this week. DAMN my crazy hips. this is HARD, HARD work. I drove directly to yoga and sweated it all out [gross, I know!]. yesterday and today I have been fighting a feeling of defeat, although my head knows I am not a loser [am a loser? mmmm.] my heart is having a rough go of it.

so my word of the week is PERSEVERE. HOLD ON. KEEP GOING. DON'T GIVE IN. DON'T GIVE UP. KEEP REACHING. HOLD TIGHT. PERSEVERE. when I get into this space I typically cave. I eat junk and stop moving and gain back every last pound and more. not this time. I had a seriously great yoga class today and if anything, I am getting stronger. I AM STRONG. this whole weight thing will NOT beat me. so, here's the deal. whatever you are going through, just keep holding on with me. WE CAN DO IT!!! [no, don't start with the Bob the Builder chant!].

Thursday, July 23, 2009

perhaps there needs to be some celebratory blog candy. let me see what I can cook up for tomorrow - I'll post pics...THEN, you'll have to actually leave comments. shocking, I know! but that is how it works, folks. mmmm...my mind is a going...what kinds of sweet treats [sweet in awesome, not just sweet as in opposite of salty!] can I dream up?

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

is SIX! EEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKK!!!! hard to believe that my first born has been on this planet for six years. John & I had a moment tonight looking at some photos...of which I'll share with you. in the meantime, here are six things that I love about my Nate:

1. he has an amazing memory [just like his father!]

2. he is kind to others [not always family, but ALWAYS to others!]

3. he is sensitive and often overwhelmed when people are nice to him

4. he gives the best bear hugs

5. he always gives me a hug on both sides and a kiss on both cheeks when I leave the house

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

okay, so yoga is tough. it's physically tough, but I have a hard, hard time with dizziness. it's getting better, since I am getting use to the ups and downs of the poses and with drinking more water. trying to smile more and not clenching my teeth totally helps. so yesterday night I tackeld "THE CAMEL". okay to look at this pose, it totally seems impossible [okay, in this picture it TOTALLY is!] but every time I go to to lean back on this pose, I totally get a huge head rush and it puts me in la-la land. well yesterday, I leaned back and grabbed my ankles and held on for dear life! and then I did it again today. yup. I rock. okay - just looking at this picture and I'm scared...do not be mis-led. I do not do this...yet!

Monday, July 20, 2009

so, a morning of CRANKED music and some rockstars doing their thing...[I believe we were listening to "maneater" by nelly furtado], a trip to the library and then to the park with the cousins [bottom picture!!]. a good monday!

Sunday, July 19, 2009

okay folks...let's see if this worked!! enjoy!!! it's a bit grainy - I think I must have saved it funny. AND, because it's grainy and weird, you can't see the subtitles under the "insert witty title" which was me trying to be funny. yeah. I just look like I forgot to insert title. LOL

so we had a bit of wind through here last night. LOL okay, enough wind to have us racing upstairs to shut all the windows when it felt like the house was going to come down around us. fortunately, the kids slept right through it. the only damage was to a tree in front, and it wasn't even bad damage...just a dislocated branch. there was a tree that got split in half on our street. literally. half of the tree is on the street!

I went to yoga this afternoon. HOLY FULL CLASSROOM, BATMAN! how many sweaty people can you fit into a room and NOT get someone else's sweat on you. yeah. LOL however, I had a great class - a great workout! I have discovered my key to breathing...I have to smile. I totally clench my teeth when I feel a bit funky. and I clench more when I am focusing on breathing. so, today I worked on NOT clenching! I smiled a bit. loose jaw, happy yoga practice.

off to put small children to bed...hopefully THAT is not the battle it has been known to be!

Saturday, July 18, 2009

1. last sunday we took the kids to the zoo - yes, the pics are mainly of ty, just because I don't think you can buy that kind of cool. not too sure where the kid gets his style, but he just makes me either REALLY angry or REALLY happy! the top picture is a bit blurry, but I still love it. the bottom one is missing the bottom half of his chin - still love it too!

2. there were some questions about my poster in the last post - I made it with pages 09 on my mac. it was a template, and it was super easy!

3. had my SU! open house today. it was a great time and I am so thankful that people took the time to come! now I am going to post the rest of my retired sets on kijiji - if I can figure that out!

4. I barely survived yoga yesterday. I had a headache on thursday and I thought it had gone. yeah. it hadn't. I could hardly get through the breathing exercises, let alone all the standing and balancing poses. sheesh.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

okay, so it's not really big...so if you want a copy emailed to you, just email me! plus, I'm a bit annoyed that the photo moved over. at one time it was lined up on the LH side!!! oh well, first time "making" a poster, so whatev!

had a great yoga class yesterday, and hoping for another great one today - breathe, breathe, breathe! I'll let you know how it goes!

Sunday, July 12, 2009

there haven't been any pictures lately! mmmm. I'll try to fix that this week, considering I took a ton at the zoo with the kids today. yes, the zoo was my exercise today. I figure that 2.5 HOURS of walking around the little valley zoo merits enough walking for the day. and since I am making the rules up for this challenge, I say that walking at the zoo counts!!! plus, by the time we got home, made & ate dinner, and got the kids off to bed, I was ZONKED. and yes, I am in bed as I type. the wonders of modern technology!!

perhaps I will post some old-ish pictures to keep you all entertained until tomorrow - I have had 2 days away from yoga and I am craving it. I can't wait until 3:30 rolls around tomorrow and I can just breathe. and push both my mind and body HARD. sad, I know.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

and this morning I was pretty pissed off when I stepped on the scale and saw that I was up 1.6 WTF? although I am currently having a moment of over indulgence, I went for a serious walk with my mom tonight [6.5 km] and she gave me some ideas on how to switch it up a bit. I think I was maybe counting yoga as more points than I should of...that is an easy change to make for next week. and I am going to only allow myself to have 4 points after supper next week. I am a bit of a point hoarder and I am using a lot of points with dinner and AFTER dinner. I can tweak that a bit. and then there is the salt. I don't think I am a big salt consumer, but I am going to make sure that my post-supper snacks are not high salt snacks.

friday's yoga was with intention - breathing. in through the nose, out through the nose. sounds really simple, but it's REALLY hard. I think the focus of my next few classes is going to be the breathing. it's SOOOOO hard! I did, however, buy myself [okay, so my mom bought me for my birthday!] a two month unlimited pass. I would love to practice four times a week over the summer. that is the plan!

Thursday, July 09, 2009

listening to the kinks - this time tomorrow. LOVE this song. "...this time tomorrow, where will be be? this time tomorrow, what will we see?"

so yesterday was a bust. in the exercise and parenting department - not in the "really nice visit with a friend and her kids" department. then 6:00 hit [après swimming lessons] and yeah. I am once again the president of the bad mom's club. I know you have all been there before, but last night I wore the crown! blah. I didn't exercise today [rain issues!] but I didn't drink either, so I am counting it as a success!! needless to say, I promptly went to bed to begin the day on a fresh note.

and fresh it was!! a 6 am bikram class. my goal today had been to do every pose at least once. fought through the dizziness and totally reached my goal. there were poses I had NEVER done [balancing stick and rabbit!] and today I did them. WOOHOO! and since today is my birthday, I have a 10 am appointment with my guy at the apple store, then a pedi, then swimming lessons, then dinner with my sweet husband at dadeo's [sans kids...they are having a sleep over at grandma's!! man, I'm spoiled!].

you have a good day too...I never blog this early, so I never get to say that! be good to yourself!

Monday, July 06, 2009

so, I did it today. I braved the fears of the hot room and went to bikram this morning with allison. for all my panic and hot issues, it really wasn't that bad. okay, dripping sweat is never that attractive, but I wasn't wearing my date panties or anything like that. I am going to aim to go every day this week and use my $20 pass to it's fullness!! AND, since the studio is SO close to my house, I really have no excuses. I could walk there. okay, so I may faint on the way home, but you know what I mean!

John and I went for a 30 minute power walk last night. we dog-sat steph's dog over night and the boys had a sleep-over at auntie's house. a win-win!

AND, dear, sweet Kathy left me muffins in my mailbox on saturday night. they were WONDERFUL one-point muffins! and now I need the recipe!

back to yoga. LOL I have to say that I was surprised how much I enjoyed it. did it kick my ass? absolutely. it's a hard work out. I was reading on-line about calories burned doing bikram and I think that they guy saying that it wasn't a real workout has never been. [yes, someone said that!] I like a good ass-kicking. and I SO hope that this gets my weight loss kick started. I am committing this summer to my good health and I am off to a good start!

Saturday, July 04, 2009

walked to starbucks and back this afternoon - BEFORE the thunderstorms hit! 45 minutes at a 10 min/km pace - not too bad! and, in good news, I was down 1.2 today. 30 weeks and down [yes, I really want to use the word "just" here!] 19.6 lbs. that is an average of 0.65 lbs per week. not quite what I had been aiming for, but hey, it's definitely better than nothing [which is what would have happened, if I hadn't started this journey at all!]. if I can kick it up a notch, and make it to 1 lb a week, I could really be down 44.6 by the new year. THAT is a number I do like! BUT, since I often get ahead of myself, let's just aim to be down 1.4 this next week so that I can make the 10% mark. the ever elusive 10%. THEN, we [I] can focus on the next 10%.

okay, enough about that.

if you are not up for an exercise challenge, why not try a 30 day challenge of your own making? try changing just one habit. create a healthy habit. one thing, one month, one change.

as I was walking today, I was thinking that I am really going to aim to blog through this wee challenge of mine too. keep me accountable!

Friday, July 03, 2009

okay, so I know you are all looking at my title saying "bag-ina" and thinking "HUH????". think no further. it rhymes with vagina. it's ty's new phrase - mainly because I say "holy dinah" a lot. he thinks it's funny. he's right. I have no good reason for using that as my title either - just feeling funny. LOL

so it's friday night. you'd think sitting down that I'd have something to blog about. as I sit here, nothing is coming to me. my life is rather dull when on summer vacation. no busy things. no real stress. so, I think I am going to invent some. for real.

I am going to invent for myself a 30 day challenge. kinda like a birthday-ish lent. no sunday's off. no easter at the end. no 40 days. just 30 days. it's my birthday in less that a week and at this time of year I begin to feel my age, just a bit. yes, I will be 37. THAT FREAKS ME OUT! funny enough though, a friend of mine said to me a couple of weeks ago - and perhaps as a put-down that I took as a complement - that I really like a 15 yr old in an adult body. he had a point. I don't really act my age, mainly because what does an almost [okay, like in 3 years] 40 year old act like??? and if you use icky words like: stuffy, matronly, grey, wrinkled, menopausal - I will scream in your face. let's be honest. I may have a few grey hairs lingering beneath all the dye jobs and I just may have some wrinkles because I kinda like to laugh and I may just be someone's mother, I am not really that old. yet. nor will I ever be. especially if stuffy is part of the definition. okay, sorry about my anti-aging rant. perhaps I protest too much!!!

the challenge - if you wish to participate with me - is such: I will exercise for at least 30 minutes for 30 days. starting today [yes, I walked 30 minutes tonight!] and ending on august 2nd. WHO IS WITH ME??? [oh, and there are rumours about starting hot yoga next week so I can get my ass kicked...let's see if I get up the nerve!!]

AND, tomorrow is weigh in day. LOVELY. last week, I was up 1.4. I'd better be down this week because this is driving me CRAZY!!!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

so tonight, unlike last night obviously, I feel like blogging! about what, I do not know...yet. maybe I'll do my list thingy - only it's not really mine, I borrowed the idea from sarah. she looks like she's a nice person, so I hope she doesn't mind.

1. there are 3 teaching days left in the school year. although I am extraordinarily exhausted and on the verge of a big sore throat, I am sad that this year is ending as I feel like it's been my best teaching year ever. I love my class. I loved my job assignment. it wasn't perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but I connected with my kids in a way that I hadn't the year before. I learned a whole bunch about myself and both my abilities & inabilities and I am excited to try it all over again next year [only without the stress of the leadership course!].

2. there have been some staffing changes at my school. my good friend scott is moving [and taking his family] to germany to teach. scott is the reason I am in jr high and I am already feeling kinda sad about the whole thing. scott and allison are really great people and I'll miss them at all our little get-togethers. teaching across the hall from scotty has really been a ton of fun and he's helped me so much over the last two years. not to mention, he often shows up with coffee. a little sad, and perhaps a little jealous. happy however that yvonne is moving up.

3. get to go to the lake this weekend with some ladies that I hardly know. okay, bit of a lie. I know connie REALLY well and I know two of the other ladies kinda well and the others, well one I don't know at all. regardless, I am arming myself with THE killer margarita recipe. [THANKS, E!] all will be well.

4. I think I have swimming lessons [for kids, not me] every day in July. sheesh.

5. I am contemplating trying hot yoga [allison & michelle's fault] just because I need my arse kicked and I want to lose some serious INCHES over the summer. is it awful to do it just to shock people?

6. I was up .4 on sat. I am SO close to hitting my 10% goal. one pound away. I want the dumb keychain they give away.

7. I have been stamping up a storm this week - cards for everyone! I just need to make something nice for nate's teacher. I can do that. tomorrow, perhaps?

9. my kids [nate & ty] are driving me NUTS! however, I have a plan. an elaborate plan that will begin when summer break begins. it's the anti-whining, anti-temper plan. it's just in its formation, so I'll let you know if it works!

Saturday, June 13, 2009

the whole process and thought on "community" intrigues me. and even more so today. not too sure what makes today any different, but as I was with the boys this morning, I felt connected to my community - my city - in a strange way. last night I did a stamping show with some parents from my school. similar experiences, different perspectives. it led me to a place in the conversation where I felt that I needed to put my money where my mouth was, sort a speak. there is a little girl in my school who is going through some really intense stuff and I discovered a way to reach out that really is of no cost to me, other than some time. in taking that step, and in making that offer, I was connected, in community to this family. today, I took the boys to the market. although I didn't see any of my friends, we bought cupcakes from seth's grandma [and were invited, yet again to izzy's birthday party!], we visited the honey lady, who told me she had meet up with my cousin earlier this week, we bought pasta from ernesto and I taught the boys how to put money in guitar cases of great musicians. although I don't know these people, I have shared experiences with them and therefore share community or experiences with them. driving back home, I was thinking about this, looking and being struck by how grateful that I live here in edmonton. I really do love this city and it's people. while thinking this I saw a couple of things. a group of hasidic jews walking home from synagogue. families playing in the park. neighbours talking and laughing with each other.

a few months ago dean spoke about a term: communitas. communitas is an intense communityspirit, the feeling of great social equality, solidarity, and togetherness. it is also a bit more than this, but this is the piece of the definition that strikes a chord with me. I cannot live in isolation. I cannot raise my children in isolation. I cannot celebrate in isolation. I need my community. I need to create a spirit of communitas with my words and my actions and in how I treat the people in my community.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

let's do this post in list form, just because there will be too much rambling!

1. vegas ROCKED. no seriously, I would never take my kids there [too much boobage], but it was really a good time, both personally and professionally.

2. I developed a new love for tequila. I had some SERIOUS tequila and it was ALL good.

3. I bought something at the coach store. no more mockery, no more chant of "c is for cori" because I have become one of them. a person that owns coach - not a bag, however, but a LOVELY pair of sunglasses. and CHEAP!

4. I got to see the fountains at the bellagio. just rather unfortunate [or perhaps fortunate!] that I was drunk or camera-less every time I was there, so iPhone pics were the best I could do.

5. I went for a weigh in last friday and I was down another pound for a total of -19

6. I bought drumsticks for ty at the house of blues. they are ACTUAL drumsticks and he LOVES them! [hence the picture above]

7. he [ty] will be four in one week. wow. my kids are getting old.

8. I really missed them on this trip. missed john even more. I have a great husband.

9. speaking of husband, he wants to see my pictures...gotta wrap up!

10. I work with some really great people. I am SOOOOOO thankful for that! They are wonderful to work with and wonderful to travel with.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

sorry I've been a bad blogger. all three of you have noticed, I'm sure. I think I am going to "list" this post, since there are random things to share.

1. today is the 20th anniversary of when my cousin Liz was killed in a car accident. tonight, we met some family at her grave site and put fresh flowers there. she was 17 when she was killed, I was 16. we don't talk much about her when we have family get togethers, and I think that has been the thing we do - not talking about things that matter. I am not sure how to change this when many people in my family are virtual strangers, so I'm going to have to think of something. not something for them, but something for me to do to change how I feel.

2. there are 4 more mondays left in this school year. oh golly gee. EEEKKKKKK!!!

3. ty is completely potty trained. now, how do I get him off the potty and on to the toilet? he is NOT going to make friends in school if the only thing that fits in his backpack is the big ol' portable toilet. UNCOOL.

4. I like our neighbours. this past weekend a bunch of the kids were in the ally, and playing in our backyard. kinda like when I was a kid. I like that. I feel that in many neighbourhoods, we have lost the whole "front porch" mentality - knowing the people you live near and spending time getting to know them. well, in parkview we do it the back ally way! put signs up in the back way so that cars don't kill the kids and gather to tell our stories over our short, and in many cases, chain-linked fences.

5. I was up .6 at WW on sat. pms sucks. that and crap food on the friday before weigh in. today was also a crap food day, but I tracked all of it. okay, almost all. does anyone know that point value for a chicken mcgrill wrappy thingy?????

6. Nate is kicking butt at soccer. perhaps I am biased, but my kid has some skills.

7. this has been one of my best teaching years. I love the kids in my home room. I feel that I have been able to build relationships with them and laugh with them and just generally enjoy their teenager-ness. I like that.

8. there is no number 8 - nevermind. there is. I upgraded my computer. now I am back to square one and can't figure out my email. good thing I have my phone [it gets mail] and an appointment with a mac geek at the apple store on sunday.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

so, it was a good week, on the ww front! -1.2 down today for a total of -17.4. not too shabby, considering the last few weeks have been CHAOS [especially on the whole school front!]. kids have been weird both at home and at school. the weather has been awful and I feel like I've been stuck in "going nowhere fast" mode. oh well, today was the encouragement I needed to get my arse in gear - in the movement department! maybe I am on the verge of being over the top of the hill, and trust me, coming down is always easier.

and in other news:

1. boys got new [to them] bikes today

2. john and I saw x-men: origins last night [me likey!!]

3. ty potty trained himself this week

4. I've done far too much laundry this week

5. I was reminded this week that too much coffee too late at night leads to sleepless nights

Monday, May 11, 2009

I have the post-marathon blues. prior to the marathon I had a pretty set purpose for getting outside everyday. now, I am feeling less motivated. I didn't move on the scale this week and that has me even less motivated. I need a shot in the arse. the "motivation" shot.

and then I think back to the race. it's a bit like my weight loss journey, in a super metaphorical way! the first third of the race is pure adrenalin and excitement. surrounded by 7 000 or so racers all there for the same purpose. it is really exciting. this is the part of the race that goes through east vancouver [just in case you were wondering!] down east cordova. then you take some twists and turns and you enter the park. just then the cops come through on their bikes, leading the way for the top marathon runner to come through. it's like hearing other people's stories - totally encouraging. and then the hill comes. and trust me, it's hard and steep [800 m high] and totally brutal. I feel like this part of my journey is the hill. totally brutal to stay on track, totally needing the loud music and the cheers. in the park, however, there is no one. you are alone. and although I know I'm not alone, I feel that way. I know what my goal is and I know the route to get there, I just need to keep walking. keep going. keep persevering. I can make it to the end. I just need some cheers. [and I am off to bed - it's WAY too late!!]

me, on a good day!

about me

I practice intentional poor grammar, get rock-star parking all the time, drink coffee like starbucks is going out of business and title all my posts with song titles.

come, pour yourself a cup, and join me in the general ramblings of my daily adventures and enjoy all the same pictures over and over and over again {some call it redundancy, I call it looping around to what matters}!