Retained Sex Toy: July 29, 2014

Woman + Sex Toy + 10 Years = Bad News

The Hemp Branch: The feds are looking into decriminalizing some forms of marijuana. A bill introduced yesterday to the House of Representatives could potentially exempt plants with extremely low amounts of THC from the Controlled Substances Act. With Colorado and Washington State moving the needle forward with the recreational use of the popular drug, it now really seems that the U.S. has hit a watershed moment. Marijuana, for the greater part of the past century, has been vilified and criminalized; within a generation, it may be seem no worse than drinking a couple beers. [CNN]

Up Yours: Doctors found a sex toy inside a 38-year-old Scottish woman’s vagina. The hook? It had been there for 10 years. Yes, somehow the woman had forgotten about the 5-inch-long schlong that she’d used during a sexual encounter a decade earlier. Unfortunately, the past 10 years weren’t all fun and joy as she had developed sepsis — a potentially deadly reaction to a severe infection. Luckily, the doctors were able to operate and remove the “retained sex toy.” A review in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that “foreign bodies” stuck inside vaginas, while not common, are not unheard of. The most common squatter? Plastic caps, typically from aerosol bottles. The average time that it took for the women to see a doctor? Fifteen months, with a range from two months to 35 years. Oh my. [Wiley]

23: Michael Jordan apparently is “cool” with Lebron James wearing No. 23 next season. James, who wore 23 when he first entered the league, switched to 6 when he made the move to Miami. The Ohio native said that he was making the change as a tribute to the greatest player of all time. Chris Broussard chatted with Jordan via text and the Chicago great said that he doesn’t “own a number.”

Personally, I don’t how I feel about this. In my mind, Jordan is the best basketball player of all time and, like the NHL’s Wayne Gretzky, should be shown some respect. While Lebron would like to usurp the throne, it seems that imitating His Airness by switching back to 23 is a bit much. Build a legacy with your own number. [ESPN]

The Fall Of FIFA: Assumed corruption. Suspected match-fixing. The organization that controls practically every soccer game in the world is getting to a dangerous tipping point in public opinion. There have been rampant allegations that Qatar won the 2022 World Cup by bribing the right people and now, it seems, FIFA is letting the nation get away with something far worse: slave labor.

Failure to pay migrant workers for a year calls into question #Qatar's commitment to respect most basic labor rights. http://t.co/eikgflVV54

Qatar has imported foreign workers who are toiling in unsafe conditions (many have already died) and the ones who are fortunate enough to still be breathing are complaining that they haven’t been paid in over a year. If you want to feel sick about cheering during the next couple World Cups, read the full expose from The Guardian.

Bright Ideas: Hate the long lines that we all have to suffer through at airport security checkpoints? So does the TSA. They hate them so much, in fact, that they’re willing to pay you to come up with ideas to cut the waiting time down. The Transportation Security Administration will hand out $5,000 to the person with the best idea and $2,500 for other time-saving hacks. The deadline is August 15th. [Innocentive]

NBA: Judge Michael Levanas of California Superior Court has ruled in favor of Rochelle Sterling and denied Donald Sterling's request to block the sale of the Los Angeles Clippers. This is good news for everyone involved. Doc Rivers won’t have to resign in protest; the NBA doesn’t have to go through months of litigation and the fans won’t have to feel bad about cheering for their team. Hopefully, Steve Ballmer’s $2 billion check doesn’t bounce. [NYTimes]