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Friday, June 20, 2014

On days when I wake up and feel the
urge to start the day with lifted spirits, I select a Joel Osteen sermon on the
DVR. I have several to choose from and last week I watched one about negative thoughts.

Joel said that negative thoughts
take up more space in our brains than positive ones. We find ourselves dwelling
on the things that hurt us.

Did you realize that every second
you are alive, your brain is actively thinking? We have between 50,000 - 70,000
thoughts each day. With 35 to 48 thoughts bouncing around in your brain each
minute, it seems that some of them would have to be negative. Life deems that
bad things are going to happen to good people. You are going to be put down,
criticized, humiliated, make stupid mistakes, have terrible thoughts, lie,
cheat, hurt other people, go a little haywire from time to time…the list goes
on and on.

Well, guess what? We have this
massive filing system in our brains where all those ugly moments are stored. Entire
events are stored in our brains, complete with the emotions associated with
them—good or bad. When something makes us retrieve a negative file, we open the
Pandora’s box inside it. Rushing out of that file are all the emotions
associated with the memory, taking us back to a place we don’t want to be.

When you have a loved one with
Alzheimer’s you can build up a huge emotional file cabinet. I gave a
presentation on caregiver emotions last week at the Senior Center in Warsaw,
Missouri. We talked about guilt, resentment, worry, anger, loneliness, defensiveness,
and grief. These are common emotions stored in caregivers’ memories. We also
talked about strategies to take control over these emotions.

Now that I’m getting older and more
philosophical, I find myself wondering just exactly how those pesky negative
thoughts pop into my head and how to lessen their impact on my daily life. Joel Osteen said that when negative
emotions dominate our thoughts, we need to switch the channel instead of
replaying those hurts.

A similar idea surfaced in an
article written by Joseph M. Carver, Ph.D, psychologist. He points out that the
brain operates automatically, pulling files randomly throughout each day depending
on memory triggers. “When the brain operates on automatic, the files it pulls
are greatly influenced by our mood. For example, if you are severely depressed,
if your brain is on ‘automatic,’ it will pull nothing but bad, trash, and
garbage files.” A powerful tool at our disposal, according to Dr. Carver, is
the ability to change a depressed mood by “simply switching the brain to
manual, taking more control over our thoughts.” Or, as Joel Osteen put it,
switch the channel.

Although I don’t think I have as
much negative energy bouncing around in my brain as I once had, the occasional pessimistic thought
can dominate my thinking. Fortunately, I’ve learned how to “switch the channel.”

The goal is not to bury emotions. In
fact, the opposite is often more beneficial. If we can deal with our emotions
immediately, the solutions are stored along with the traumatic experiences and
help us cope with that emotion. Yes, most of us can direct our thoughts into a
positive direction. At first, I couldn’t even tell people that Jim was
diagnosed with Alzheimer’s without choking up and bursting out in tears. I took
control of my thoughts by turning a negative into a positive. I started to
speak about Alzheimer’s, began the Early Onset Blog, and became an Alzheimer’s advocate.

Chemicals in our brains determine
our moods and feelings. Sometimes traumatic events or long-term negative
thoughts can throw our brain’s chemical balance out of whack. When that
happens, it may be necessary to take medication to bring the chemicals back in
balance. Through positive thinking, physical activity, and mental stimulation, we
can handle temporary or fleeting negative emotions.

Earlier, I compared the brain’s
negative emotions to opening Pandora’s box, but the most important part of the
legend is what she found in the bottom of what she believed to be an empty box. When
she opened it again to show it was empty, Hope was released. We, too, can replace
negative emotions with hope by taking control and switching the channel.

Monday, June 9, 2014

I’m sure you’ve heard that
experience is the best teacher. I’ve come to the conclusion that not only is it
the best teacher, it can also be the cruelest teacher when it comes to an
Alzheimer’s caregiver.

When life delivers a knockout punch,
we have two choices: Lay on the mat and writhe in pain, or push off the mat and
stand up and fight back. Experience tells us the only way to survive is to drag
our butts off the ground and prepare ourselves to do battle.

You’ve seen it haven’t you? I’m
referring to those life warriors who leave shock and awe in their wake as they
fight back against all odds. The Davids of affliction fighting the Goliaths of disease.
These warriors don’t know the meaning of giving up, or quitting. They
trampoline off the mat reaching new heights, beyond anything they could have
imagined.

In the past fifteen years I’ve met
hundreds of amazing caregivers and people with dementia. There’s Tracy who has
lived with dementia for more than a decade. She worked at several different jobs, raised a child, and soldiered through marital ups and downs. The one thing she has never done is give up. She
makes the most of each day placing her trust in God. Another friend, Karen,
showed tremendous strength by keeping her husband at home until
his death from familial Alzheimer’s. I’ve seen courageous people step out of
their comfort zone to become speakers, support group facilitators, advocates, and
fundraisers.

Not everyone goes forth and becomes
a public face, but that doesn’t mean they have given up. They do what they have
to do, excel at it, and quietly go about their business. Casual acquaintances
never notice the soul scars left from being a caregiver to a loved one with
dementia.

Last week, I spoke to a group of
local business leaders about Alzheimer’s, the September 6 Walk, and several upcoming
team fundraising events. When I finished, a man sitting next to me gave an impassioned
testimony to the difficulty of taking care of a loved one with Alzheimer’s. “Only
someone who has provided care can really know how hard it is,” he said. Bullseye.

Being a caregiver is the hardest job
I ever tackled in my life. The most famous Alzheimer’s disease caregiver’s
guide is called The36-Hour Day for a
reason. When I first read the book, it scared me. I thought that surely, only
rare cases got that bad. And after the initial shock, and realization that yes, it could be that bad, I panicked as
I doubted my ability to do this.

Experience became my teacher. At
first, I learned from other people’s experiences. In turn, I passed on their
experiences and added my own to the mix. We Alzheimer’s caregivers have to think
on our feet, be creative, and not be afraid to call for help.

It is when we internalize our caregiving
fears and anxieties that we set ourselves up for failure. And, failure is not
an option when someone needs our attention, devotion, and loving care. Part of
being a successful caregiver is to become part of something bigger than
yourself. That can be personal spirituality or it can be a public commitment as
a volunteer.

As a volunteer, I found that I helped myself as much as I helped the Alzheimer's Association. It also allowed me to keep company with more amazing people.

In the midst of a downpour Saturday morning, I attended a fundraiser organized by two of our walk team captains. I was happy to see the weather hadn’t deterred anyone from eating a delicious breakfast. Jessica Snell, team captain and co-chair of our Sedalia Walk, wore an Alzheimer’s
awareness T-shirt that said, “We don’t
know how strong we are until being strong is the only choice.”

This slogan is used for many
diseases because it has a universal appeal for anyone who has been surprised by
his or her inner warrior. Understanding this concept is the diploma handed out
by the cruel teacher of life to those who refuse to stay on the mat.

Friday, June 6, 2014

Linda Fisher, Sedalia, MO, author and
speaker, will present a one-hour program on Caregiver Emotions, 10:00 a.m.,
June 12, at the Senior Center at Harbor Village, Warsaw. The presentation focuses
on Alzheimer’s caregivers, but caregivers for other diseases are encouraged to
attend.

“Being a caregiver for a loved one
is on-the-job training for a job you never wanted,” Fisher said. “Caregiving is
an emotional rollercoaster. Before you tackle caregiving, it is essential to take care of your own emotional wellbeing.”

Fisher became an Alzheimer’s
Association volunteer when her husband developed dementia at forty-nine years
old. She is an award-winning author and blogger who has published six books of
essays from her early-onset Alzheimer’s blog at http://earlyonset.blogspot.com.
She is an Alzheimer’s advocate and serves on the Alzheimer’s Association Greater
Missouri Chapter Board of Directors.

The presentation is free and open to
the public. Reservations are not required, but RSVP’s are appreciated. For more
information contact Charlene, Senior Center, at 660-438-3569.

Monday, June 2, 2014

Life is always moving forward, and I
participated in two different types of promotions this week. One promotion was
my grandson from kindergarten to first grade complete with cap and gown. The
children performed delightful programs, but not all entertainment was during
the performances. My grandson decided his hat was more comfortable twisted
sideways and that was how he wore it most of the evening. The boy sitting next
to him had his tassel swinging between his eyes.

We ended the evening with cakes, cupcakes
and punch. One cake said, “Goodbye Kindergarten” and the other, “Hello First
Grade.” I’m sure time will fly by
between now and the day this group of youngsters will walk the stage again to
receive high school diplomas. It might be interesting to compare their behavior
at that graduation with this one.

The other “moving on” event this
week involved a promotion from the world of work to retirement. Staff, board
members, and former board members surprised Linda Newkirk, executive director
of the Alzheimer’s Association Greater Missouri Chapter, with a retirement
reception.

It was good to see some of the
former board members I had lost contact with over the years. Some of the Board
members at the reception were those I had served with the first time. After a
self-introduction, each person told of his or her connection with the disease,
the chapter, with Linda, and more importantly—the mission.

We were a roomful of people who
understood the heartbreak and challenges of Alzheimer’s. Like many of us,
Linda’s first connection with the Alzheimer’s Association was because of a
loved one with dementia. She found the information, support, and resources she
needed.

Later, Linda was offered a job with
the Chapter and eventually was promoted to executive director. Her positive,
capable leadership helped our chapter flourish. She isn’t one to seek the
limelight and was a little uncomfortable with being the center of attention in
a roomful of people who wanted to honor her and her accomplishments.

I served on the Chapter board for
six years, was off six years, and returned in 2012. Because of my hiatus from
the board, I wasn’t on the board when they hired Linda as the executive
director. I really got to know her better when I approached her with the idea of
the Alzheimer’s anthology. She immediately supported the idea—which was amazing
considering I had no experience in publishing a book. I just had a big idea,
and she became one of my staunch supporters.

We will miss Linda’s leadership. She
guided us through the transition becoming a national chapter. When two Missouri
chapters consolidated into the Greater Missouri Chapter, Linda stepped up as
the executive director for a much larger area. Linda’s main focus has been to
ensure the Chapter succeeds in its mission to provide excellent service to
folks coping with Alzheimer’s disease.

The board members dished out a lot
of good natured teasing about Linda chairing the Columbia walk. Oddly enough,
that didn’t seem to be on her retirement agenda. Linda is saying “Goodbye Work
World” and “Hello Retirement.” She is moving on and we just need to step out of
her way.

One of Healthline's Top 20 Alzheimer's Blogs

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Voted one of Healthline's top blogs of 2012--4th Place in the Contest

Early Onset Blog in Top 25 2011 Alzheimer's Blogs - Healthline.com

Early Onset Alzheimer’s

This award-winning blog is a must-read for individuals experiencing early-onset Alzheimer’s. Less common than standard age-related dementias, early onset Alzheimer’s is virtually always a surprise to diagnosed individuals. Linda Fisher, blogger and author, knows the difficulty of this condition firsthand.

In her Early Onset Alzheimer’s blog, she teaches readers not just how to manage such a frightening condition, but also how to live life to the fullest. Her passion for helping others – showing everyone that life with Alzheimer’s is worth living – is a tremendous gift. Thank you, Linda!

Blog Awards

Early Onset Blog has received several blog awards. Due to new Google regulations, the links had to be removed. Past awards have included the #1 Health Blog , Top 10 blog in 2010, Top 25 Blog award in 2010, and a Top 50 award in 2012. We appreciate the recognition, but also understand the need to remove the links.

I went to sleep around midnight and woke up at 4:00 a.m. I tossed, turned, read, tossed, turned, and read some more. Finally more than t...

Linda's Blog Books

Books are a print version of Linda's award-winning Blog. These books are published for the benefit of those without Internet access or who just prefer to curl up with a book rather than browsing online. If you enjoy Linda's blog posts, you might want to purchase the book for a friend or family member.

Fisher began her online journal to share her experiences with families affected by early onset dementia. Her essays provide insight into family life often from a humorous viewpoint. She writes from her experiences as a longtime Alzheimer's Association volunteer and advocate and ten years as a primary caregiver for her husband, Jim.

Early Onset Blog

Alzheimer's Anthology of Unconditional Love by L. S. Fisher

The Fisher Center for Alzheimer's Research Foundation

I have participated in a link exchange with the Fisher Center for Alzheimer's Research Foundation. They have this blog http://earlyonset.blogspot.com/ listed in their Alzheimer's blogs.

Lindsay Nason wrote about my Early Onset Blog: "I want to thank you for sharing your powerful experience and your creative suggestions with others. . . . Your blog offers a unique and personal insight into this disease, which can be such a comfort to other members of the Alzheimer's community."

Thank you, Lindsay, for your kind words and for including the Early Onset Blog on your website.