Fashion, sex, beauty … and socialism? All of that and more in Cosmarxpolitan, the new (faux) magazine hot off the Tumblr presses.

The new blog riffs on the notoriously over-the-top cover lines and headlines found in Cosmo, translating them into a handy guidebook for the average Bolshevik babe. With the tagline “fun, fearless freedom from the oppression of capitalism,” Cosmarxpolitan serves up double entendre after double entendre. (See: “So divine, he’ll call you the opiate of his masses” and “Seize the means of his production”).

According to the site’s FAQ section, Cosmarxpolitan is the brainchild of “smug college students with too much time on our hands.” The creators also clarify that their intention is “to ridicule the awful advice and backwards attitudes of magazines targeted at women; not to poke fun at those who suffered under communist rulers.” So that clears things up.

Everything marginally related to Communism is fair game in Cosmarxpolitan, with cover teasers like “The REAL Bay of Pigs disaster: 50+ bikini horries stories!” and “Mao suits: sexy or skanky?” Also featured are “hot new interrogation tips and tricks straight from the secret police” to help you get your man to open up, along with the best ways to “build a gulag archipelago on a budget!”

The new Tumblr might have some seeing red, but in our book, the impressive number of historical references and the expert recreation of Cosmo’s tone earn the blog high Marx.