About 4 years ago, Part 2

In the past ten days Mom has mowed the front yard, the back yard, landscaped all side yards, planted gardens, clipped and groomed three dogs, vacuumed the entire house (two levels), mopped all bathrooms, kitchens, entrance ways, dusted furniture, scrubbed toilets, cleaned bathrooms, shined mirrors, scrubbed the kitchen and all appliances , washed dishes, paid bills, and prepped her taxes.

She did not lose a single pound. She is, however, very tired and extremely cranky (hey, I’m being polite here).

We discovered if she wasn’t busy moving or doing, she yelled at a lot of people, including me. Yeah, I’m 16 and selfish, but who isn’t at that age. I still love her. And I think she still loves me.

I just think she needs more wine.

My egg donor called again today. Got the school pictures I promised I would send her. THAT isn’t her son. Well, no sh*t lady. You haven’t seen your so-called son in 15 years. I, however, am gorgeous in those photos, and they do not do me justice.

So, the phone rings, and Mom being the bad-ass she thinks she is, hands it off to me. Great mother points, Mom.

Yeah. Bad me. Bad Mom. But the truth is that this had been mutually agreed upon since we first realized birth mother was not a rational human being. I am obviously a much better bitch than Mom, even with her crazy cancer meds. It is an improvement.

I AM very grateful Mom sold her gun to my brother-in-law earlier this year. ~ Gean