The US has a giant cheese surplus, and it's our patriotic duty to help eat it

In a headline straight out of a Willy Wonka fever dream, Bloombergdeclared that the United States "is sitting on a mountain of cheese."

Our great nation apparently had an inventory of 1.2 billion pounds at the end of March, the highest in 30 years. More than half of the supply is American cheese, but fancy European imports were up 17 percent last year as prices dropped.

While this overabundance sounds delightful, it isn't necessarily a good thing because it means we're having a hard time selling our stuff to other countries. The cheese market is all out of whack, so please, do your part: Go forth and find the cheese mountain, then eat it.

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The US has a giant cheese surplus, and it's our patriotic duty to help eat it