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Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Guest Blog: Carmen's Story

Carmen talks about her struggles with being a teen mom and trying to breastfeed. Now she's married and expecting her second baby. She's way more confident with her ability to breastfeed this baby and is excited to have a positive breastfeeding relationship with her new baby boy!

I would love to be a breast feeder! i have my hubby's support 100% so I'm excited.With my first, my dad had told me I couldn't go back to school until Jada was 6 months old because he wanted me to breast feed her that long. He was adopted at 4 days old, so he insisted that I give her 'the best". I would sit in their room ALL day and try to feed on demand, but for some reason, she NEVER got full. She latched ok, I just wasn't producing milk. It was heart breaking.. and it was hard because I was so young and missed my friends and missed being outside. I got very very depressed and Then school started and Jada was about 2 months old and My dad was making me go to alternative school so I could "breast feed" more.. I would come home crying.. the kids at the alternative school were ones that didn't care about their education, they didn't care what their grades were like, or if they would graduate, they went there so they could be in school less, and most of them were party-ers and druggies.. not me.. I had always wanted to be a nurse, my dream was to work in an OB. I wanted to graduate high in my class, I missed my friends... it was horrible..Eventually my mom had talked him into letting me go back to school full time and just bottle feed Jada (with formula... at that time I had tried to pump, i even tried to pump before I went back to school, i'd pump for an hour and only get 2 oz. I felt like a failure)...Then with my second, I got pregnant right before breaking up with my long term boyfriend. we fought a lot, and it was during the second half of our senior year. When I graduated (about 4 months pregnant), I moved out and was trying to work full time and go back to college. I had pretty much made up my mind at that time that I was going to give the baby for adoption... I ended up dropping out of college because I was to stressed being on my own, a pregnant teen & mom.. In september of that year (7-8 months preggers) I met my (now) hubby. He was very supportive of everything, but was also 3 hours away from me... I had to quit working in October because I had unbearable round ligament pains... so my daughter and I moved down to live in a hotel close to the adopting family. eventually I was induced (a week early... for selfish reasons, like wanting to go back home, and starting to get depressed.) and she was born Oct. 24th 2008. I breast fed a little in the hospital, I was only in there for 1 night. and I told the nurses, if i'm asleep, just give her a bottle...When I got back home, I went straight to my man and spent some time getting to know him and recovering for the delivery & adoption (which was surprisingly a lot easier then anyone would have guessed).. and during that time, it felt like my breasts had gotten very heavy.. i'm guessing my milk finally came in. and boy was it a lot. I didn't have a pump or the energy or emotion to even attempt to pump and donate (which now, I wish I would have done at least for the month that I was out of work).Now with this last one, I have my hubby's support and encouragement. I hope my body is more developed and I'm hoping it's much easier to breastfeed. I don't think there's much for support groups up here for breastfeeding moms. I know there's not a LeLeche league up here, which would be SO nice to have... But it is nice to see all the support I have on facebook and through the blogs!

she was NOT getting full. in the hospital she would nurse for HOURS and i'd just give up and let the nurses give her a bottle. Then at home I'd sit in my parents room ALL day long and try to feed her. she was never EVER satisfied. I then started trying to pump and would pump for a couple hours at a time and would get maybe 2 ounces if that from the breast (that was rotating breasts and taking short breaks after 15 - 20 minutes). and even after I gave up, my milk never really ever came in. We shared a room and were always doing skin to skin and all that good stuff.... I got nothing.

I understand the frustration of being unable to breastfeed. With my son, I had difficulty getting a latch. There wasn't very much breastfeeding help at the hospital so by the time I went home I was very cracked and bleeding all the time. I started to pump just so I wouldn't have to be frustrated with my inability to get my son to latch. At first, the cracks were so bad that the milk was more red than pink! It got better, but my milk production totally ceased. By the time he was 6 weeks old he needed formula supplement because the pumping and trying to learn to latch wasn't enough for him.It's so heartbreaking. I felt like a failure too!! This next one for us will be better, I've already found a nursing supporter to be there when I deliver to help us get it done right, right away!

P.S. Anyone who doesn't know. Carmen and I are very good friends and due within a week of each other in March 2011. :D