7 Things Women Think Men Like — But We Don’t

There are a few misconceptions amongst the female population about what we men like, and don’t like, from our female partners. We blame it on magazine quizzes and terrible romantic comedies.

Women won’t hear about it from most men because we don’t want to hurt your feelings. Hurt feelings lead to long talks, break-ups and even more romantic comedies. At least Katherine Heigl will always find work. Although that might not be a good thing.

We’ve put together a quick list that women should try not to do. Ever. Please read carefully. We’re doing this for your own good.

Offering to pay on the first date

Major no-no, unless it’s already been established it’s a “friend date.” If it’s a real date, and he’s into you, he’s going to want to pay, and a woman offering may sound nice, but it ends up making him feel like you’re not really that into him. It’s an ego thing for us. And if the guy says he’ll split it, and/or that you can pay, he’s either broke or not into you at all.

Sexual teasing

We like teasing, yes BUT, not on the first date. Girls who tease like they’re going to put out make guys think that that’s what it’s going to be from there on out. It’s okay to flirt a little bit, but if you make it seem like we can get the booty, you’re no longer someone we’re going to date…we just want to get in your pants. It just takes you from “datable” to “booty call.”

Talking about past partners

We don’t care if it’s supposed to be a compliment like “I’m so glad you finish fast…my last boyfriend took FOREVER to finish,” you NEVER, EVER say anything in comparison to other guys. It just demoralizes us. Bad form. Even something like “Oh my gosh, your penis is the perfect size. My last boyfriend’s was way too big.” We don’t hear the “perfect size” part. All we hear is that your last boyfriend was hung like a horse.

Crafty gifts

We’ll probably hurt some feelings with this one, but you don’t need to make us some pretty card with stationary and lace and all sorts of cut outs. Every once in a while it may work, but typically just a note here and there, or something we actually like as a gift will show us you’re thinking about us, AND paying attention to what we like. And no, we’re not going to hang your “Collage of Us” poster at our desk at work.

Constant contact

If we’re into you, we’re not ignoring you, we’re probably just busy. Text messages a few times through the day, or a call here and there to let us know you’re thinking of us makes us feel good. Anything more than that makes us feel like you’re a stalker. The only exception would be if we’re responding to every text, and furthering the conversation. Other than that? Tone it down a bit girls.

Doing things that we like to do (that you actually despise)

It’s one thing to “not be a fan” of something, and do it to support us, but don’t force yourself to do something you absolutely hate because you think it’ll make us happy (I.e. Watching a football game when you know you can’t stand them). Usually it ends up in an argument, and we feel bad or irritated that you said you wanted to come along, but in reality, you just bitch the entire time. It’s a waste of everyone’s time.

“Acting” sexy

If we’re dating you, we think you’re sexy. Don’t try and go over the top by doing something that’s not you. Sure, spice it up a bit with lingerie, or meeting us naked when we come home from work. Those ideas will always work. But don’t turn into a screamer during sex, or call out our names, or change the way you normally do things so that it just looks awkward. It’s a big turn off.