And smile, bitch. It’s not your job to look all tough and shit. Jamarcus is doing a fine job of that next to you. Put on your happy face. This isn’t a fucking prison sentence. It’s the draft. Show some teeth.

With the second pick in the 2007 NFL Draft, the Detroit Lions take wide receiver Calvin Johnson...

They take? TAKE?! You don’t fucking take a player, Rog. You take smack. You select a player.

With the third pick in the 2007 NFL Draft, the Cleveland Browns select left tackle Joe Thomas, Wisconsin.

OK, you got the take bullshit straightened out. Good. That’s a start. But get the order right, cocksucker. Name, position, school. Not position, name, school. That’s more backwards than that fucking Pacman fiasco.

And play up the pick. This is your time in the limelight, sweetheart. You’re putting on a fucking show. Don’t spoil the pick by telling us the position first. Surprise the crowd by saying the name before the position.

Tags would alternate the order of position and name too. I like the position first, especially if its a shocking pick. Makes the booing of fans more fun, especially since they still don’t know who the team actually chose.