How many times would you allow someone to push you away before you gave up on them?

I was in a long term relationship but my partner let me down continuously commitment issues etc etc, so after 5 years I ended it. It's over about 2 months now but contact has never been fully broken, so recently he's been trying very hard for me to go out for meals with him, cinema etc and sending texts emails and phone calls but I keep saying no, as I want to see how hard he'll fight for me back to see if I can move forward with him, just wondering how many knock backs would you take? And would you even try if you were him?

P.s if he gives up and stops asking I feel I wil know what I mean to him I want him to fight

Most Helpful Guy

You should look at it from the other way around. What would you do if you were trying so hard to get someone, but they kept being difficult? At some point you would just give up because you don't think they like you because you are putting all this effort in and the other person is just blowing you off. Just stop and talk to him about your problems jeez. Sit him down and say this is what I didn't like about our relationship before and I want it to change. Just as long as it's not completely insane requests. TALK ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS! talk talk talk and talk more!

What Guys Said 1

Anonymous

You are too old for this silly adolescent game. I'd run if I were him. Life is far to short for cat and mouse games. Betting you played them in the relationship and drove him off.

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Asker

I'd like to see how much your willing to bet, as I am no game player and this is the first time I've acted like this I need to see if he is 100% ready to commit to me as my heart has been broken by him over the last few years, I am doing this to protect myself as I always allow it to be easy for him, and maybe what I'm doing is wrong but at least this way I can't get really hurt and I'm somewhat in control

It places you in a position of standing in judgment over him which is fatally incompatible with love. Any time in the future when he waivers from a high standard you set, he did not agree to and which you can capriciously apply and change, you can will judge him as retrospectively unready to commit. This will fail. No man worth his testicles will live with a woman's boot on his neck.

What Girls Said 1

Anonymous

why does he have to "fight so hard" I hate when girls have that attitude like they are queens and the guy is the fighter. if he's trying that hard he is genuine. you either give him another chance or you don't. playing games just shows all you care about is the ego boost. if you want him back, give him a chance. if he gave you problems in the relationship and you think they will come back, move on.

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Asker

The problem is I do feel like he have me to many problems in the relationship he took me for granted he had commitment issues and we broke up over them in the past but as soon as he said sorry I excepted and allowed things to go back to how they used to be, I'm not a queen by any means but I want him to prove to me that he has changed an he wants the same things as me, I need to know that he is 100% sure of what he wants this time as I can't allow my heart to get broken again, I love this guy bu