Real Feelings.

8 Myths About Planned Parenthood Debunked!

Right wing rabble rousers still might shutdown the government over the half a billion dollars in federal grants Planned Parenthood receives, which amounts to about one sixtieth of 1% of federal spending. Why? Because of misinformation.

For the sake of sanity, we’ve decided to clear the air and debunk 8 myths about Planned Parenthood so that we can move on from this anachronistic, anti-women’s health movement, which is really only an issue so Ted Cruz can continue to power his presidential campaign on “I’m the only one that fights for American values in Warshington!”-rhetoric.

Myth: Planned Parenthood sells baby parts for profit

Despite all the references to “undercover videos” you’ve heard about, this is 100% untrue. Trust me, there is NO profit to be made off baby parts because there is no market for baby parts. Not even on the black market. People are only interested in paying top dollar for living, healthy babies, not their individual parts. We know from experience.

Planned Parenthood does donate fetal tissue to medical centres, but the only money involved is to cover basic acquisition and transport costs. No laws have been broken.

Those opposed to the funding of Planned Parenthood may say that there other women’s health clinics that do a better job, but you and I both know that quality of health is part in parcel with brand name recognition. If I don’t recognize their brand, you better believe I’m not trusting them with my cervical health. As a man, there’s nothing more important than the health of my cervix.

Myth: Your tax dollars are paying for abortions

It is illegal for federal funding — specifically Medicaid funding — togo toward an abortion procedurethanks to 1976’s Hyde Amendment. Your tax dollars are most likely funding pap smears, which definitely gross to think that you helped pay for someone’s cervix to get scraped, but surely there are no moral/Biblical objections to it.

Myth: Americans don’t want to fund Planned Parenthood!

A new survey from USA Today/Suffolk University found that 65% of Americans say funding should continue. Only 29% say Planned Parenthood should be cut off. So like, give it up already.

Myth: Planned Parenthood only offers abortions!

Abortions only make up 3% of the organization’s service. The other 97 percent are dominated by STI screenings, contraceptives, and other non-abortion related services. So are we to believe that the Republican party are pro-sexually transmitted infections? Yes.

Myth: Whenever you walk by a Planned Parenthood, you have to get an abortion.

Definitely don’t think it’s true, but maybe take a detour just in case.

Myth: Defunding Planned Parenthood will decrease immoral abortions.

Abortions were happening before Planned Parenthood and they’ll continue to happen even if it gets defunded. If anything, the abortion rate will probably rise because people aren’t getting access to contraceptives and adequate sex education. And even worse, they’ll be aborting babies in back alleys, which are not the most hygienic places.

Myth: Abortions are bad for America!

They are about as bad for America as eye exams and stool samples. It’s just a medical procedure that some people need to get done if they want. Now why is having the freedom to exercise choice such a bad thing? America used to be all about it.

Are we done here? Surely you understand that defunding Planned Parenthood is a terrible idea and we should never even entertain it ever again.

4 thoughts on “8 Myths About Planned Parenthood Debunked!”

I spent an hour last night on Twitter reading planned parenthood / #shoutyourabortion discussions. It’s like a car crash out there. Seems so obviously insane to take funding away from such an important programme. Massive step back for public health. Some of the most vocal arguments against PP are so confused, unsubstantiated and vitriolic. I keep thinking maybe this whole thing isn’t happening and is just a big inside joke playing on stereotypes of America. If only…