Or you might run into the Idster, B.G., Travis, Konrad, or me on the trail–what a fine mess that would be for you. And then there's David, Dean F., Adan, Craig, Mike, Kat, the Link, and maybe even Maia–it's pretty darned dangerous out there, with all those rascals on the loose.

You will have to actually walk up and down each elevation change due to the total lack of escalators in the wilderness. The few elevators that do exist have been shut down due to federal budget cuts necessitated by Congress's complete inability to pass a budget.

However, the primary reason is that, despite their advertising, Domino's does NOT deliver to wilderness campsites.