Meraki

For those of you who don't know, besides being a photographer, I'm a singer and actress.

With that said, as an actress, I've been feeling like updating my pictures, for my agent. It's a new year and I feel there will be a lot of changes - hopefully incredible ones - so, following this energy of novelty and renewal, I felt like getting new portraits.

I'm a bit camera shy, although I hide it well... I think. :) Therefore, when it comes to having my picture taken, I feel better to do it with friends or people whose work I know very well. With this in mind, I decided to ask my dear friend Jane (Joana D'Oliveira Lopes, for everyone else). She's actually the person I started taking pictures with, a long time ago, circa 2004. It's kind of great to still have her around, after so long. For many years to come, I hope. :)

This was my second time in London — the first time didn't leave such a good impression, but I'm always in favor of giving a second chance, the benefit of the doubt. So I did.

I didn't stay for long (4 days), and I didn't try to be with every single person I know there, on the contrary; I spent 2 days with one friend and the other 2 with another, and I had breakfast with another. That was it.

I'm really not the touristy type so, for me, being relaxed and just sort of "living" normally, alongside with people who make me feel comfortable, is my personal strategy for a happy trip.

I didn't take a selfie with Big Ben, I didn't visit Madame Tussauds, no London Eye, no Buckingam Palace... I took walks, took pictures, I ate out, ordered in, watched movies, watched (half) of the Oscars, discovered cool hidden places and coffee shops, talked to strangers, and last but not least, took the Double Decker at night so that I could peek inside people's houses and imagine their stories — my favorite part. :)

This time around, it felt like a good trip, it felt warm and honest and cheerful.

I'm always in favor of giving a second chance, the benefit of the doubt.

These past few days have been quite insightful, even though this does not necessarily mean something as uplifting and peaceful as it may sound - specialy for an analytical mind, like mine. I do like puzzling my way out of ideas and problems, but, sometimes, I get stuck in the middle, not knowing what is right (for me). Unfortunately, until I do, until I puzzle it, I'm left feeling restless, because it's not clear, because I "don't know".

One of the ideas I have been battling with is the notion of Acceptance vs Change. If, on one hand, we should accept ourselves and life as it comes, flaws and all, carrying on with a carefree perspective. On the other, we can and should change things we're not happy about, things we want to improve, things we consider faulty in some way.
So, my question is: Where do we draw the line? How do we know what is deemed unacceptable enough that we should work to transform? Or what can be considered faulty, yet beautiful enough to keep?

I don't really know how to start this post, to be honest. I'm struggling to find the words amongst the thoughts and emotions.
Let's simplify: I feel like writting again, and sharing again - sharing more than before, actually.

For a long time I was holding back online, secluding myself, worrying about what people would think, how they would perceive my thoughts, my life and, ultimately, myself as an individual. Although I'm very transparent as a person and wear my heart on my sleeve, I would convince myself that anything besides my photographs didn't really matter to anyone, so I would limit the sharing and the exposure to an acceptable minimum, sharing only what I thought to be just about enough.

I do like my privacy, that won't change, so I don't think I'll ever be one of those share-my-entire-life-in-minutious-detail type of blogger. But I do feel like I could share more, I know that there are people who want me to (Kosma and Olya, always there for me), and I think it would be beneficial for me, at the end of the line.

I've been feeling luminous the past few days, completely open to life's wonders and mischiefs. It feels like the year is just starting, blossoming. It feels like dawn.

About me

A place to share my life, my dreams, my stories. A place to share beauty in every form, every color, light and dark. A place to share my photographs, my perspective. My name is Teresa Queirós, and this is my blog.