My father told me that when it comes to GleN Beck, maybe, maybe, I need to simmer down a little while I rant about him. I say SCREW YOU OLD MAN! No wait, that’s not right.

Ok, so I was thoughtful about today’s rant.

On Oct. 30, GleN was talking about how it would be a super bad thing to introduce another stimulus package. He decided to use the wonderful story telling tool of allegory, where he would tell a story about something non-related that has a much, much deeper meaning that can then be used to illustrate his first thought. Genius.

So, since he cannot just make up a story himself (not drunk enough to be that creative), he borrowed the lesson of the cinematic masterpiece, “Mission: Impossible III.”

You see, much like the adrenaline shot that Tom Cruise shot in the heart of Keri Russell in “Mission: Impossible III,” as is another stimulus. Rolling the video, we see said adrenaline shot, then cut to a scene a few minutes later when (SPOILER ALERT) Keri Russell drops dead.

“Those adrenaline shots will (takes deep breath while making sweeping arm movement) shock the system and it will come back in a little while,” GleN tells “America.” “But in the end, it doesn’t work. We all know what happens when the government tries to (punches self in heart) shoot an injection into the heart. It fails.”

Wow. Great story GleN.

Of course, he never pointed out that the reason Keri Russell’s character died was not because of the adrenaline shot, but rather, because the evil genius Philip Seymour Hoffman planted a chip in her head that blew up.

I don’t mean to be overly knit-picky, but shouldn’t GleN draw proper parallels when using a movie to illustrate his point? Not to mention, medically speaking, a shot of adrenaline does not ultimately result in death. It doesn’t revive a person for a moment, but then kill them. Adrenaline shots, quite the opposite, save lives. In fact, a shot of adrenaline can help normalize blood pressure and make breathing easier in the event of anaphylactic shock. Further, a shot of adrenaline, if it were, say, administered incorrectly or unnecessarily, STILL is not dangerous. According to Dr. Edward J. Read, Jr., MD, assistant clinical professor in the Department of Emergency Medicine at the Virginia Commonwealth University School of Medicine:

“The consequence for the person receiving the unintentional injection is not usually too severe. The bigger risk may well be the ‘lost dose,’ the fact that the epinephrine is no longer available to administer properly to the person urgently needing it.”

It’s actually more dangerous to NOT have your adrenaline than to use it, even improperly!

This is just another in a long line of GleN’s irresponsible on-air dribble. It’s this kind of fear mongering that leaves people not just fearful, but grossly misinformed. I mean, if he must use a movie, why not a horror flick. You know, the screaming Jamie Lee Curtis (the stimulus) has defeated the evil Michael Myers (the sinking economy) but BAM! He’s not on the lawn anymore, he’s ALIVE (the economy is still sinking!). See how I did that off the top of my head? And I don’t even have a team of producers or a nasty cocaine habit to help me think.

GleN. It is completely on target to question government spending. I mean seriously, we’re bleeding money. Why you refuse to do this in either a responsible or a rational or an honest manner is beyond me.

2 responses to “Did I mention that GleN Beck sucks?”

I’m really surpised you didn’t use this as an opportunity to once again make fun of me for having Dr. Carter shoot me in the tush during the Village People concert. Without that epi shot things would have gotten really ugly!
That’s right – I just compared my ass to the american economy.