Do You Sometimes Feel Like A Small Fish?

On Wednesdays we are thrilled to fling open the doors to all of YOU! We love hearing your dreaming stories…the lessons you’ve learned, the roads you’ve walked, the dreams He’s planted in your hearts! Today we are excited to welcome back Wendy Speake to God-sized Dreams. She is sharing a little about her new book, Triggers, and feeling like a small fish in a big pond. Thanks for being here again, Wendy!

The room was packed with women; mothers holding babies; ladies laughing over lunch; older women crowned with silver welcoming the youngest of guests. For nearly a decade now these have been my people. This has been my dream. I present dramatic monologues at women’s events that allow me to segue into the gospel message of Salvation through faith in Christ.

I entertain women, for the sole purpose of moving souls closer to Jesus. Yes, this is my God-sized dream come true.

Over and over again I write stories, then memorize them as I would Shakespeare -not that I compare my pen to his, only that I prepare myself as I would for an honest to goodness performance. I prepare and I pray, I rewrite and I pray, then I pray and prepare some more. Churches know to move the podium off the platform when I ascend the stairs. I don’t bring notes, just stories and an invitation to believe.

Women laugh and women cry, and women hear about a Savior.

But something was different that morning. Though the room was bustling and bursting at the seams, and my words were securely cemented in my memory, I felt empty and unsure. It was a holy sort of emptiness, I knew that God had something unusual planned, but I was frightened nonetheless. With just a few moments to spare I left the auditorium and rounded the far corner of the church. My eyes welled up and the tears fell hot then hurried down my cheeks, landing on my lapel, affixed with a mic.

As I stood trembling, I felt the Lord give me a vision of the little boy who had brought only a small meal of two fish and five measly loaves of bread. Enough, perhaps, for himself and his family, but not nearly adequate to feed those hungry five thousand. And yet, The Lord took what was offered, and worked a miracle.

Without going into detail, let me just say that the Lord did feed and nourish the hearts of many women that day. And He did it on the day I felt that my offering was the smallest I’d ever brought to a women’s event.

I wish that I could stop this post here, with a short exhortation that you would know great joy today as you offer up the smallest of offerings within your basket. Wouldn’t it be grand if we could arrive at the end of a lesson, clinging to new spiritual insights – clinging more tenaciously to Him than we ever have before – and not have to keep coming back to relearn and relearn it? Often, the Lord must teach me the same lesson a number of times.

This past week I released my first book. Triggers: Exchanging Parent’s Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses, co-authored by Amber Lia, is a book for women who struggle with anger and yelling in their homes.

Printed on thin pages is the promise of transformation, for those who would turn to God on the most challenging mothering days.

Preparing to launch this book was a whole experience for me. I had a list of things to do, and people to contact for endorsements and reviews. And I did. I did my part to the best of my limited ability and resource pool.

One day, only a few weeks before the release of Triggers, I was on the phone with Amber, talking through our launch plans. I was feeling rather small that afternoon, and mentioned to her for the umpteenth time how unimpressive my online platform is. “I’m just a small fish,” I said.

Small fish.

It wasn’t until later that night, as I opened God’s Word, that I turned, quite providentially, to Mark 8, where Jesus is out teaching the masses yet again. And again the people grow hungry and faint, and the disciples get all stressed because they’ve forgotten that Jesus is in the business of doing big things with small offerings.

Small fish.

Perhaps you are a small fish, just like me. You don’t have thousands of followers on Facebook or Instagram, in fact, your basket it rather sparse. Let me encourage you to offer up to Him what you do have to Him in a fresh, believing way today. Lift it up for His blessing and trust Him to do the miracle.

And one more thing, dear dreamers, as I know some of you are moms too. Managing your dreams beyond the dream of mothering can be very stressful. Sometimes having anything at all beyond tending to my little brood and can cause me to snap. If you struggle with anger in your home from the sheer effort of it all, if you find yourself worn out and yelling at your children, then heavy laden with shame, I encourage you to order a copy of Triggers.

To celebrate the release of my new book, I would like to give away one copy to you! Leave me a comment below telling me how you’ve felt like a small fish. I will randomly choose one winner!

As a trained Actress and heartfelt Bible Teacher, Wendy ministers to Women’s hearts through storytelling and Biblical life applications. She utilizes drama, comedy, poetry, and the study of God’s Word. Wendy and her husband Matt live in San Diego, California with their three rough and tumble, strong-willed boys, who roll pell-mell all over each other (and their mother) most every day. Visit Wendy at wendyspeake.com, or follow her parenting adventures on Facebook or Instagram.Triggers is Wendy Speake and Amber Lia’s first book, published by BRU Publications, a division of The MOB Society.

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Comments

Your words here echo so much of what God has been teaching me lately. That repetition is good for my heart, and God knows it. 🙂 And your book is good for my momma soul too! I’m a little behind, but I’m encouraged every time I pick it up. Well done, friend. xoxo

I love this. There are some days I feel like a small fish as well. Caring for my two toddlers and trying to pursue my art on the side. I know in my heart, these two passions of mine are gifts from God, but I struggle with the mundane. I struggle with loosing my emotions. That my art won’t reach those who I hope need it most. I struggle with am I enough for my kids in this big world. I would love for the opportunity to read this book because I too struggle with trying to control my responses to my children. I want to respond with God’s grace instead of yell. I want to love and not snap. Thank you for writing this beautiful post. I needed to hear this message.

in this big world. Will I be able to teach them enough, love them enough, do enough. I would love for the opportunity to read this book because I too struggle with trying to control my responses to my children. I want to love more and yell less. I want to teach my children about God’s grace, but I must first

Pursuing God-sized dreams in the midst of motherhood is a conversation we’ll have another day. But until then let me encourage you to love those little fish well too. God cares so much about each one of you in your home! Blessings. – Wen

I so often feel like the small fish. I’m surrounded by amazing writers, yet I barely have 2 coherent sentences to offer. I have a home based business that I started nearly a year and a half ago that has floundered (ha! see what I did there?) and puttered as I’ve seen the larger company and others in it expand wildly. I know this all strikes at the heart of my passion, but it can be discouraging to feel like not much. Thank you for this reminder that little is much when God is in it!!! xoxo

Floundering is hard! However, when the master fisherman calls us to jump into the boat with Him, (be it business, blog, or any other dream) we can trust HIs Sovereignty even though we feel like a fish-out-of-water. – Love to you, Amy

Right now I feel like a minnow- a glowing minnow. For years I prayed for God to show me which gift he was going to give to to and expand upon. For years I’ve sought several “dreams” and have almost made it to fruition, but somehow everything I pursued was disrupted and put into a box and stacked in “the attic.”

Photography was never something I thought would be anything more than a hobby- after all there are “oceans” of photographers trying to make their names to some sort of platform to become known and profitable. I’m truly a minnow in comparison and that’s a dream for unrealistic dreamers…or is it?

God works in mysterious ways. I wake up most mornings in a state of amazement as I reflect upon the past year and realize where God has brought me today. I’m sitting here, on the brink of being overwhelmed- the photographer for a pro football team, for an emerging musical artist, for my church, and more…. I didn’t do this on my own. Nor can I carry it on my own! I have three beautiful little souls to care for. I have an amazing husband who needs me to be sane!:) I need to be the wisdom of Proverbs 31:26 and “laugh at the days to come.” Not shrink down in fear.

So, I AM a minnow in a place where so many have more talent, more gear, more time- and somehow God has placed me in he middle of my dreams. My fervent prayer is for the focus and faith to stay firmly planted in God as I take my anxieties strait to Him- not taking the round about approach of trying to do it on my own.

The greatest struggle is time. I don’t seem to find enough time- which leads to frustration. As a minnow;) I need to lean on God and ask him for help with my Children as I step out from solely being their stay at home mom. My current prayer is for wisdom and balance. I’ll leave it at that, for now.

I’m glad to get to know you, Greta. Yes! This dreaming, living, family-loving life is a big thing for little minnow to handle on her own. So grateful for the bigness of God’s good plan. Take it slow, and remember to say no to opportunities if they threaten to undo the dream of your family and faith. Some dreams have to be a catch-and-release sort of thing.

When I attended Allume, I felt called by God onto the platform of being a Christian-mom-blogger-something. But had no real inclination how He would use me in this realm of His Kingdom – particularly since social media (platform building) is an unknown. Well, as a super small fish (107 FB likes) – just starting the blog and FB page – God is doing amazing work. I do a video – pray for God to send it the FB feeds of who needs to hear the message – and my views climb beyond my dreams!

I had just been wondering what happened to the Allume community – had I drifted by not engaging? A then this post appeared in an email today. God placed your message in my inbox – and I am Thankful. He does an amazing work!!!! I am a super small fish experiencing what only God can do – I offer my fish, and He feeds over 1,000 (in views). God is so good!!!!

Hey Wendy, I dont have kids so I’m not commenting to win the Book :))) I’m commenting because your post really spoke to me this evening. Just before I read it I was given some info on a platform to promote my book coming out this year and I was like, yeah ok nah – I dont blog alot, dont try have all these followers, so cant do it. But then by reading yoru post, I was reminded again, of how when we feel small – we are like those small fish God can use to nourish a broken world. I dont want to feel that way any more. People around me all think I do large things, yet I cant see myself like that. So hmmm, I dont mind being a small fish if I can be used to nourish others. Thanks for this amazing reminder, blessings ALiyah

Triggers sounds like a book I need. I’m trying to write a book as well that is hard and enjoyable at the same time. I feel so unqualified to do the writing, but I’m compelled within to keep at the task. I feel as you say, like a small fish. Who would want to read this book? I’m not sure as it is still in the final phase of the first draft, but I’m plugging along, ignoring the voice that tells me it’s not worth the time and effort. If God is in this task, then I’ll just keep on putting words and scenes on the pages. I want to have a product that will refresh others and bring God’s light into a reader’s life. I’m encouraged by your words.