Calls for stricter guidelines on consumption of Government advice

Individuals should limit themselves to following just one piece of Government health advice a day, according to new stricter guidelines issued by an independent Government body.

“The public are genuinely confused,” said Dr Olivia Williams, chief advice officer for the Government.

“Not only is there disagreement between experts, domestically and internationally, on issues such as what to eat and drink and how much, what kind of exercise to take and for how long, but the Government keeps changing the goalposts.

“We recommend that people follow only one piece of advice per day, but try to get a healthy balance of the advice they follow over the course of a month.”

New guidelines regarding government advice about the economy is even stricter, urging people to not consume any Government predictions or statement whatsoever.

“Here there is no ambiguity,” Dr Williams explained.

“All the recent evidence is conclusive – acting on, or even believing, just one Government statement can be fatally damaging to an individual’s, and the nation’s, economic welfare.”