A Hard-Headed Hound

Legal Disclaimer: You guessed it, the characters
of Xena, Gabrielle, as well as all others associated with the show belong to
you-know-who (MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures, in case you don't).
The vile hound belongs to its master, who belongs to himself <g>
No copyright infringement was intended in the writing of this fan fiction.
The characters Sina, Gabby, and all others not directly associated with the
show are mine, however.
This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story
may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers.

Violence: Just a little, but it was all in the
mind.

No real or fictional dogs, hard-headed or otherwise,
were beaten or harmed in the production of this tale.

This is the 12th "Tell Me"-Story. A short interlude,
taking place a few days after "Run, Alice, Run".

For comments, feel free to mail me at verrath@gmx.de.
Any type of feedback is appreciated.

November 6, 2000

Rain. Always rain. Thunderclouds veiled a sky rent by
lightning, as the water rushed relentlessly down. Gabrielle found herself wondering
why the weather always seemed to know whenever they were in dire straits, and
pick those times to make things worse. Apparently some god was out to give them
a hard time.

The water hitting the ground faster than it could be
accomodated had transformed the grassy plain into a squishy, slippery bog. Every
step was clumsy toil, and the warrior's grip on her sword was precarious as
she battled their unearthly foe.

The creature seemed to have much less trouble, being
large and having the advantage of four feet on the ground. Raindrops hitting
its coat evaporated with angry hisses, so that little clouds of sulphurous steam
rose constantly from its black hide.

Like burning hot coals, three pairs of vile, orange eyes
glimmered in three canine heads that wove and swiveled in their effort to get
a bite in. Yellowed fangs the size of daggers glistened dangerously, drooling
strings of saliva as the creature growled and barked. The thing's hot breath
wafted at them, sulphur mixed with he heavy stench of decay, nauseating. This
was Cerberus, guardian of the Underworld, standing as tall as the women, and
he was not a happy dog at the moment. He hated getting his feet muddy. He hated
getting his fur wet. But most of all, he hated obnoxious warriors trying to
stick swords into him, as delicious as this particular warrior might look.

"Nice doggie..." said Gabrielle, and got three dissonant
howls in reply.

"Stay back, Gabrielle!" Xena cautioned through the rush
of the rain, as she delivered a wicked blow to a sensitive snout with the pommel
of her sword. The left hand head flinched and yelped, while the remaining two
launched a new attack that was all the more furious.

Apart from the treacherous ground and the overgrown canine,
Xena faced another problem - trying to keep herself between the infernal hound
and Gabrielle, who was stubbornly trying to get in a few whacks with her staff,
and kept moving around in order to find an opening.

Teeth closed with a loud clack, a hair's breadth from
Xena's head, drawing a rather filthy curse from her. The right head snapped
at the staff Gabrielle was twirling in front of its eyes.

"I can't believe he got out again," Gabrielle complained. "Hades really should take better
care of his pets."

"I don't care how he got out, Gabrielle. I do care about
how we can get him back in. Any bright ideas?"

The bard deftly dodged a vicious lunge that would have
cost her her face, literally, before replying.

"How about a prayer? Maybe Hades is listening," she offered.

"Yeah, and maybe some day, people will walk on the moon,"
Xena replied wryly.

Gabrielle very nearly stuck out her tongue. "Well, I'll
try a prayer anyway," she mumbled between twirls of her trusty staff.

"Suit yourself," Xena grunted.

The warrior considered the huge canine as he stood there
with his hackles raised, snarling and slavering, seemingly debating with himself
which of the two morsels in front of him was tastier.

Finally, the hound decided on Gabrielle, and tried to
circle around Xena in order to better rip open the bard's throat. He licked
his chops, looking forward to the feast.

"Ayiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi!"

Xena, of course, would have none of that. In a fluid
motion, she rapped the flat of her blade smartly against each of the dog's heads
in turn, and while he was still blinking in mild confusion, she removed the
Chakram from her belt and flung it at the three-headed brute.

At least, that was what she meant to do. However, the wet metal was slick, and it somehow
slipped from her grasp as she threw it, and flew off whining into the distance.
"Rats," the warrior cursed as she stared after it.

Gabrielle bit her lip. Xena had lost her Chakram. They
were in trouble.

Alerted by the sound, three black heads turned to watch
the flight of the circular weapon that glittered with the droplets of water
that were flung outward as it rotated.

The snarls were replaced by delighted canine grins, and
with a happy yip - well, three of them, rather - the huge dog bounded after
the flying object.

"What the...?"

With their jaws hanging open, the two women watched as
the creature gathered up speed and finally launched himself up impossibly high
to catch the Chakram neatly out of the air!

There was a bit of disappointed whining from the right
and left heads who had missed the catch, before Cerberus came trotting back,
proudly carrying the shining ring between his center jaws. He dropped the Chakram
at Xena's feet, and stood panting, looking back and forth between the warrior
and her weapon expectantly, tail wagging.

"What the...?" Xena said for the second time, eyes wide
in disbelief.

Gabrielle, who recovered first, nudged Xena with an elbow.
"Throw it again," she mumbled.

Xena looked at her. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, go on."

The Warrior Princess shrugged, and complied - and Cerberus
once again deftly snapped up the weapon in mid-flight, and carried it back to
them.

"Would you look at that," Xena said, still incredulous.

Cautiously, Gabrielle extended a hand to pat the head
nearest to her, ignoring Xena's warning hiss.

Cerberus not only appreciated the gesture, but grunted
happily, and within moments, he was lying on his back presenting his tummy to
be rubbed, tongues lolling and his legs pointing heavenward.

"Why you're just a big puppy," Gabrielle told him as
she complied with his wish, and was rewarded by a set of canine grins, and more
tail-wagging. "See, Xena? He really isn't so bad..."

"See? He isn't so bad. You can pet him."

Sina, still dubious, extended a cautious hand and briefly
stroked the little dog's long coat, half expecting to lose that hand in a second.

"Hey, he didn't bite," she exclaimed, astonished. "I
wonder why?"

"Maybe he's really a nice dog," Gabby mused. "I suppose
if you had to be around Alice all the time, you'd be a pain in the butt, too."

"Never thought of that," Sina agreed a little gruffly.

Gabby nodded sagely. "Alice'll probably be looking for
him."

Sina made a face. She reached for her pink Frisbee -
it now had a circular piece cut out from its middle, and the outer rim was trimmed
flat to give it an almost sharp edge.

In the blink of an eye, Wilbury's Little Prince Charles
bounded to his stumpy little feet and looked at her expectantly, his squashed-looking
face split by his huge grinning mouth, willing her to throw it again.

"Prince? Priiiiince!" As Alice's shrill and slightly
whiny voice could be heard in the distance, a change came over the small animal.

The panting mouth snapped shut, the bulging eyes lost
their playful twinkle. Prince cocked his head, listening. Then he growled at
the girls and barked shrilly, before turning and trotting back to his mistress.

Sina and Gabby sighed in unison. Some things, it seemed,
you just couldn't change.