For those of you unaware “ratchet” is like new-age “ghetto”. (Advice to those unaware, move out from under that rock).

As some one who has seen her fair share of ratchet parents, I have also seen quite a few ratchet kids.

It hurts my heart because ratchet tendencies will spread throughout your brain and alter your decision making, like a cancer or dementia. That may sound extreme but those who are unable to turn their “ratchet” back off have trouble finding jobs, live in poverty, marry men with cornrows that barely reach their neck,etc. Bottom line is ratchet-ness is a serious problem affecting today’s youth.

However, I am pleased to announce that ratchet-ness is NOT genetic. Classic Nature vs. Nurture. Can you catch it? YES. Can your children catch it? Definitely. But no one is born with it so everyone has a chance, but no one is immune.

Ratchet-ness is spreading across the internet and the school system like crazy. Please keep an eye out for the regular symptoms:

symptom 1. If you don’t mind leaving the house in a scarf or wave cap, without a bra or proper underwear, with an article of clothing with the following words on it “b**ch, yolo, ni**a, etc.”

symptom 2. If you find yourself angrily screaming at service workers, the elderly, other people’s children, etc, while clapping at every word, with no regard for the people watching

Ratchet-ness in moderation is okay for everybody. If you really want to prevent “Bob Johnson” from turning into “Bob westsidegang Loyaltyovereverything Johnson” then allow yourself a twerk or two so that you will not suppress the urge too long!

As for the children. Expose your kids to more than you have ever seen. Give them a fighting chance and an opportunity to be fully functioning members of society. Ratchet parents are prone to raising ratchet children. If you feel you are too ratchet to raise your baby; befriend someone who is willing to teach your child some un-ratchet ways. So that your children can have a chance to make that choice.

Or raise them to be like lil Boosie’s daughter (so ratchet but she is SO CUTE, and a #thug)

Leaving a relationship can sometimes feel like a time warp. Maybe you started dating your ex-husband at 35 and now that you are 53 the two of you are getting a divorce. Or even if you fell in love at 24 and a baby and some years later you find yourself single and 30. So much about yourself and your life has changed!

When you are not on the dating scene you will be surprised how different the rules are.

Here are a few tips to help you transition from Seriously Taken to Suddenly Single:

1. Announce your newly single status GRACEFULLY! Let the ones who matter most be the first to know, so that they are not finding out from a facebook status. Let them trickle the news down, as you know they will spill, even if they swore to secrecy. When YOU are ready; throw a cute pic of yourself up online with a clever caption like:”Getting back to just loving myself”.

2.If there is even a glimmer of hope for your relationship DO NOT BASH THAT PERSON ONLINE OR ANYWHERE ELSE! Sometimes you are upset about something but the two of you get over it with time and reconcile, you never know what the future holds. Imagine how stupid you will look if you have told the internet about that person having an STD (true or not). Just keep your mouth SHUT when it comes to vengeful slurs, no good will come of it.

3.Embrace your new found freedom.Get drunk, get a little crazy, reclaim your youth (or whatever years) that you spent in that relationship, no need to rush into a new one. Spend some time getting to know the new you and REFLECT so you do not make ANY of the same mistakes. But remember; Let Loose, but don’t BE LOOSE!

4.Fight the Urge to Contact. This is like the hardest part! Especially if you are used to talking to your ex-mate about everything, or if the two of you have children, OR if you have a great relationship with their family OR if you have 2947 mutual friends. But trust me it is important to clear your life.space of a person so that you can be confident in your decision to move on. Let the relationship GO if it is over.When people say “lets just be friends” they ARE NOT ready to be single and not ready to be w/o that person. So give yourself substantial time before considering a friendship w/an ex.

5.You can’t change the past, but you can have one hell of a future!Go find what you want. Do what you want. Try something new. Love louder, laugh louder, live louder. No need to tastelessly flaunt how many dates you are on or how quickly you found someone new, let your spirit show how much happier you are.

I can run done the list of things that she is not the best or greatest at, BUT I will admit that I know the lyrics to her songs, I turn her up when she is on the radio, and I recognize her talent. I also understand that she is not the best of all time in any category BUT a perfect combination of better than everyone else out RIGHT NOW in enough categories to generate noticeable fanfare!

Also her brand, branding initiatives, and public relations practice are top notch. She makes a bunch of the right moves at the right time and that is definitely the makings of a great business, she is of course a business.

HOWEVER what is wrong with the people of the world? You guys act like she parted the red sea!

Someone with that much influence I expect to hear A LOT MORE charitable, and socially responsible efforts, but whatever! I can not force anyone to save the world.That is not even why I am writing this post; because despite my many complaints – I am a fan.

I am just confused as to why she is praised so heavily. To the point where if you say anything wrong about her people unfriend you on facebook. There is a class in her name, and an article floating around that says you can obtain a Beyonce degree..WHAT!

I would be lying if I said there was nothing I wanted to change about my life right now. Life can really suck you into a whirlwind sometimes, and it is easier than you think to get caught up and lose little pieces of yourself along the way. As a new mom, and a stay at home, work from home, live from home mom at only 22; there are times I’m lost in my own routine.

I have decided to get my LIFE BACK!!! with a simple list of 10 easy changes that wont require too much of a fuss. I am posting this list on the blog so that I have NO CHOICE but to follow through.

Happy Monday Everyone! For some of you today is a day off, so enjoy it and relax. For those of you getting up and out for work, school, or whatever go at it with a positive attitude NO MATTER WHAT! Sending positivity will bring you positivity.

LETS GET RIGHT TO IT!

Since today is #PresidentsDay I have a bit of inspiration from our President, Barack Obama.

“The best way to not feel hopeless is to get up and do something. Don’t wait for good things to happen to you. If you go out and make some good things happen, you will fill the world with hope, you will fill yourself with hope.”

A month into my last semester of college, I discovered that I was pregnant.
Wait. let me go back a bit.

Throughout my college career I conquered it all. I completed two internships, started taking graduate courses early, held a job all 4 years, was a resident assistant, senior orientation leader, in MULTIPLE clubs (on the executive board of a few of them) etc, all the while able to have a social life. So when my last year was approaching I was one of few people not afraid of the “real world”.

Then I met fear. A month into my last semester of college I found out I was pregnant. So I started planning, cause that’s what I do to put me at ease. I thought I was ready to take on the pregnancy, until I remembered I had to face people. Telling my family was not a problem, they love me no matter what. But I was so afraid of everyone else, professors, colleagues, peers, even friends and what they would think of me. I was afraid of falling short of the expectations others had set for me.

So I hid.
Not intentionally; and for a while I did not even realize I was hiding. But then people I used to speak to everyday on campus started asking me “where have you been”. Next thing I knew hiding in my dorm room was not enough, so I ran. I started going home every weekend at first, then every week day. I missed classes, meetings, and even called out of my on-campus job a few times.

I thought I would regain my confidence after graduation and reveal to the world my wonderful little secret, but it never happened. I spent my 40 week, 4 day pregnancy afraid to leave the house in fear that I would run into a friend on the street and they would see my huge watermelon sized stomach. I was even too afraid of shame to let people tag me in pictures online and reveal my new identity to the world. And it wasnt because I didnt want to be a mother, Ive always looked forward to being a mom, but I felt that I had let everyone else down.

Then the fears multiplied. I was afraid of labor, afraid of being induced, afraid of epidural, afraid of a c section, afraid of parenting. Worst of all, afraid of letting anyone know i was afraid. Leaving me to fight the battle alone, trying to maintain the front that I was fearless.

In the confines of my mind I was dealing with fears so intense, I was suffering. Then it all happened, and it all happened at once. Everything I was fearing happened all in the same day,
and it was perfect.

All this time what I thought was fear, was success, it was growth, and true accomplishment. I have learned that when you are about to truly face something you are meant to do and become the person you are meant to become, it is not supposed to be easy. True progress is supposed to be so profound that all you want to do is run in the opposite direction, because you know once you embrace it, there is no turning back and nothing will be the same.

I felt it again today as I was putting the finishing touches on my new website (ms.getright.com). What we think is fear is really just us stepping outside of ourselves and shedding old skin. The honor student, multi tasking person I was in college was amazing, sure! But if I allowed myself to believe that graduating and getting a good job was all I could bear then I would have stunted a great potential I never knew I had