Forum » Topic: An Idiots' Guide To... The Eastleigh by-electionhttp://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56847
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Idiot on "An Idiots' Guide To... The Eastleigh by-election"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56847#post-164734
Sun, 24 Feb 2013 20:02:42 +0000Idiot164734@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>This clears a few things up for me, thank you.
</p>Perks on "An Idiots' Guide To... The Eastleigh by-election"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56847#post-164733
Sun, 24 Feb 2013 20:01:03 +0000Perks164733@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>I'll be honest, I'm positioning myself for A job at the bbc the next election night coverage
</p>Carter on "An Idiots' Guide To... The Eastleigh by-election"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56847#post-164729
Sun, 24 Feb 2013 19:55:34 +0000Carter164729@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>At last I understand. Thanks for the explanation - five stars.
</p>Squudge on "An Idiots' Guide To... The Eastleigh by-election"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56847#post-164716
Sun, 24 Feb 2013 18:59:06 +0000Squudge164716@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>lovely work.</p>
<p>I bet at least one of the candidates is irked at having to hastily re-word his manifesto
</p>Scroat on "An Idiots' Guide To... The Eastleigh by-election"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56847#post-164708
Sun, 24 Feb 2013 17:06:27 +0000Scroat164708@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Don't like 'manifesto'. This should be changed to 'personfesto' surely.
</p>Paddy Berzinski on "An Idiots' Guide To... The Eastleigh by-election"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56847#post-164705
Sun, 24 Feb 2013 16:10:52 +0000Paddy Berzinski164705@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Very good.
</p>AReader on "An Idiots' Guide To... The Eastleigh by-election"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56847#post-164702
Sun, 24 Feb 2013 15:58:45 +0000AReader164702@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>I like
</p>button on "An Idiots' Guide To... The Eastleigh by-election"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56847#post-164683
Sun, 24 Feb 2013 14:14:37 +0000button164683@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Excellent work Perks.
</p>Midfield Diamond on "An Idiots' Guide To... The Eastleigh by-election"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56847#post-164682
Sun, 24 Feb 2013 14:12:11 +0000Midfield Diamond164682@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Good stuff Perks.</p>
<p>The real proof that JoF would fit in in the House of Commons could see him compiling Jof-favourable and opposition-cynical extracts from all the various subs about this by-election into one article, conveniently ignoring all those bits that criticise him or his party.
</p>Sinnick on "An Idiots' Guide To... The Eastleigh by-election"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56847#post-164616
Sun, 24 Feb 2013 08:59:23 +0000Sinnick164616@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>It's all so much clearer now, and I understand what a bi-erection is now. 5 votes for you.</p>
<p>I look forward to this being a Left Alert, but for balance must also be a Right Alert and a Monster Raving Loony Alert. LibDems are in the middle, so don't affect the balance, or anything else for that matter.</p>
<p>Typo, 1st line: missing space in "a lot"
</p>Yikes on "An Idiots' Guide To... The Eastleigh by-election"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56847#post-164612
Sun, 24 Feb 2013 08:01:17 +0000Yikes164612@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Gets my vote ..
</p>dvo4fun on "An Idiots' Guide To... The Eastleigh by-election"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56847#post-164606
Sun, 24 Feb 2013 02:31:43 +0000dvo4fun164606@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Nice work &amp; style Perks. Typo 'too' in last line
</p>Perks on "An Idiots' Guide To... The Eastleigh by-election"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56847#post-164601
Sun, 24 Feb 2013 01:31:02 +0000Perks164601@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Cheers Mr Squirrel. It would be nice if he did, but the beauty of it is if he doesn't, any of them can!
</p>Psycadelic Squirrel on "An Idiots' Guide To... The Eastleigh by-election"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56847#post-164600
Sun, 24 Feb 2013 01:08:50 +0000Psycadelic Squirrel164600@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Nice one Perks, 5 from me. Left alert for sure. </p>
<p>I'll be listening in to hear if JoF uses your 'one size fits all' manifesto.
</p>Perks on "An Idiots' Guide To... The Eastleigh by-election"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=56847#post-164597
Sun, 24 Feb 2013 01:02:22 +0000Perks164597@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Over the next week, you will be hearing alot about the Eastleigh by-election. But what is a by-election and why do Eastleigh get one and not you? Well fear not, your questions are answered in this... <strong>Idiots' guide to the Eastleigh by-election</strong></p>
<p><strong>What is a by-election?</strong></p>
<p> A by-election is like a general election, but only for people who elected someone with dubious moral standards the first time round. The term ‘by-election’ has caused some confusion in Eastleigh with the Conservative candidate hesitant to stand. ‘I am totally against gay marriage on bigoted grounds so the thought of having an election for Bisexuals is hard to swallow. However it turns out it’s a vote for anyone, so I will stand and fight for the swing voters'.</p>
<p><strong> Where is Eastleigh?</strong></p>
<p> A great question, that until recently not even all the candidates could answer. Eastleigh is in the county of Hampshire and is a short drive from Southampton. There have been some complaints that the Labour candidate would not be part of the community if elected. These fears were eased when the candidate promised to save Eastleigh on his TomTom and visit the town every night on Google maps.</p>
<p> <strong>Why does Eastleigh need a by-election?</strong></p>
<p> As mentioned before, sometimes when people cast their vote in a general election, they chose the wrong answer. That’s exactly what happened in Eastleigh in 2010. The outgoing MP suffered from an amazing case of amnesia regarding speeding points he passed to his wife. Luckily for everyone involved, his son managed to jog his memory with the clinically approved treatment of threats. To try and boost their chance of success, the Lib Dem candidate has had a CRB check, and urged Nick Clegg to stay away.</p>
<p><strong>What do the parties stand for?</strong></p>
<p>We have produced this ‘one size fits all’ manifesto for you.</p>
<p> The [<em>insert party name</em>] believe that growth in the local economy is the key to success in [<em>insert town</em>]. If elected, [<em>insert candidate name</em>] will be the voice of local people at a national level. [<em>Insert candidate name</em>] and the [<em>insert party name</em>] have listened to the constituents on the doorstep and know that things are hard for people in the current economic climate, but [<em>insert name</em>] will do everything in their power to ensure real change for the residents of [<em>insert town name</em>].</p>
<p> So there is your brief guide to the Eastleigh by-election. For those that are eligible, go and cast your vote. For those who are not eligible, if you want a by-election of your very own, go and find some dirt on your current MP and force them to resign. It shouldn’t take too long.
</p>