The Midwest Wedding Crashers Crash The Proposal

Photo by Chris Emeott Photography / Via howheasked.com

Tis the season to be MARRIED! As if Star Wars, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanza, and New Year’s Eve weren’t enough, more than one in four grooms proposed to their ladies over the holiday season according to ABC News. So, congrats to all who put a ring on it!

So some of you reading this blog are hoping we’re here to tell you all about some awesome proposal we witnessed in the Midwest with sappy pictures to make you feel all warm and fuzzy. Am I right?! Nope, not this year. We are ‘crashing’ the proposal and talking to all the single ladies. (And… for those of you who were waiting to read about the Midwest Wedding we crashed in December, we are sorry, but you’ll have to wait just a little bit longer and read about it in the February edition of the COMO Living Magazine, as well as, on our February blog. Get excited because it’s coming!)

However, when a dear friend told us about her recent breakup over the holidays and another friend shared her frustration of going on year 5 without a Christmas proposal, we felt compelled to blog about the heartbreak that happens over the holidays. I mean let’s get real! What happens when you don’t get proposed to over the holiday — or worse, you get dumped over the holidays?!

This is something that the hubs and I have had long convos over. We have developed a theory. What if you didn’t mess up? What if you won’t be single forever? What if the guys/girls your dating are LOSERS. No, seriously, what if we just keep going for Mr. Wrong instead of Mr. Right? I’m 36 now and I can literally smell losers the moment I meet them. I wonder if it’s wisdom that comes with age or just experience with the handful of losers I dated myself over the years, but it blows my mind that others aren’t able to sniff out the hound dogs.

For all of you who are looking for the right one, we want to help you out in 2016. Let us introduce you to the 5 LOSERS I have dated in my past. And get ready to RUN from a future mistake. (Isn’t running one of you new year’s goals anyways?)

1. Mr. Child

Cameron Diaz SNL, office baby

Oh, you now the feeling… All of a sudden you are playing the mommy role before you are even thinking about kids. Now let’s be honest, we can all be childish and immature at times, but if you are the one that is constantly having to slip into adult mode to make things happen, then it’s time to cut the cord.

2. Mr. Flirt

I hate to say it, but if they flirt with anything that walks, just walk away. No one wants to date, much less marry, someone who is constantly trying to create their own fan club. Perpetual flirts don’t stop flirting when they get married. They just start flirting with others when you’re not around, and is that something you really don’t want to have to worry about. Let them remain single until they can remain faithful.

3. Mr. Frat

He has graduated. He is no longer in college. He is no longer in a frat. But partying is still his number one priority. There is nothing wrong with going out with friends and having a good time, but if he is choosing investments in kegs over 401Ks, maybe marriage isn’t in his near future.

This guys talks the talk, but can he walk the walk? He is always talking about future plans with words like, “If we get married…,” “If we have kids…,” but he has never taken any action towards marrying you. This guy is a master manipulator. He knows what women like to hear, and they believe his every word. Men are doers and if he is not doing anything to actually pull the trigger, then save yourself the heartache. It’s time to move on.

5. Mr. Goalie

(Photo by Scott Audette/NHLI via Getty Images)

This guy blocks all of your goals — your future goals are the dreams you have been working hard to achieve. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t care about your dreams? One of the greatest gifts we have had in our marriage is each other’s support of our goals. I wouldn’t have my own business and my husband wouldn’t be in a PhD program if we did not have each other’s support. Trust me, your marriage will be much better off if your husband gets excited about dreaming with you.

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Ultimately, marriage is a partnership and friendship. Don’t give up! There are great guys out there and you are amazing, so it’s just a matter of time.