Tag Archives: NASA

Here’s how I feel after I watch the news every night:

And I know for a fact that you feel my struggle on some level. Life here on planet Earth is rough, folks.

If you’re sick of feeling like you’re living in the middle of a dumpster fire, why not hitch a ride on a rocket ship and leave this nonsense behind? Sure, that might be a fantasy right now, but NASA wants us to know that there’s potential for some extreme escapism on the horizon.

NASA just released these posters that detail employment opportunities on the Red Planet, and I’m seriously not mad at any of it. If you’re interested in taking one small step for man and one giant leap for “get me the hell out of here right this second,” check them out.

According to this handy little guide, NASA researchers are embarking on this journey for “all of humanity.” I’d prefer if they did it for the portion of humanity that didn’t suck, but I digress.

The whole thing feels a little too Uncle Sam for my taste, but I guess it worked back then so my feelings, like all of our feelings, don’t matter!

The best part is that if you decide to go through with it, you won’t just have to use your vocational skills on Mars itself. You could use them near Mars on its moons, which I’m sure are lovely this time of year except not even sort of.

Step one is the “Earth-Reliant” stage. During this phase, scientists will study fun stuff like flammability tests and human behavioral analyses aboard the ISS.

Up next will be the “Proving Ground” stage. This is all about learning how to survive and thrive in deep-space environments. They’re also going to look into how quickly humans will be able to travel between their new lives on the Red Planet and their messy excuses for existence down here on Earth.

“With humans on Mars,” a NASA representative writes, “we will be able to advance science and technology in ways only dreamed of with current robotic explorers.”

“Mars missions will represent a collaborative effort among NASA and its partners — a global achievement that marks a transition in humanity’s expansion as we go to Mars not just to visit, but to stay.” Terrifying!

I can’t tell if I’m horrified or fascinated. Probably both. I mean, it doesn’t get more human than this. Why wreak havoc on one measly planet when you can do the same thing on two?

If you want to learn more about NASA’s upcoming journey to Mars, be sure to check this out. The future is calling, and it’s crazy.

Last week, the world was shocked when a rocket from Elon Musk’s famed private space flight company SpaceX exploded on the launch pad at Cape Canaveral during a test. The explosion (which was technically a fast-moving fire, according to Musk) also destroyed the rocket’s most precious cargo, Facebook’s first satellite.

While a strange speck on the film is by no means definitive proof, it’s enough to make you suspect extraterrestrial foul play, isn’t it?

Check out the video for yourself below.

While it certainly would be a lot more fun to attribute some supernatural event to the rocket explosion, the fact of the matter is that spaceflight is dangerous business. The fire was most likely caused by a mechanical error, but the possibility of otherworldly interference is fascinating.