A Man Day

I fall centerline. Hanging out with the LADIES is fun, but I don’t do bake sales or pilgrimages to the mall. Being with the MEN FOLK is awesome, until the conversation turns into a debate about some ridiculous man-topic…like how to free yourself from a seatbelt with one arm if your Ford flips over on the highway.

Sports-talk is another area where I don’t quite click with the guys. So, when I told my husband that I had an interest in going to a football game, he almost didn’t believe me.

MAN DAY began with a walk over the Roberto Clemente Bridge in downtown Pittsburgh, with about 60,000 other people wearing matching outfits.

Like everyone else I am closer to the center, but probably on the masculine side (mostly because I enjoy doing “boy” things.) I like to build stuff. I’m a great welder. I have a manual labor job (in health care so its a bit of a toss up). I like sports.

I don’t wear dresses or makeup. I’m not a big gossip. I shop when it is necessary.

haha I have to agree with you, Tracy – I think I’m in the middle somewhere too. When it comes to friends I tend to enjoy men more than woman. It is quite tricky to learn the boundaries carefully as most of them are married in my age group. A lot of the time I feel forced to mingle with the woman as to not upset any of the woman or create wrong impressions. Sadly it is often not because I enjoy their company so much.

I enjoy the adventure stuff and as a single woman I haven’t had a man telling me what I can’t do – what I’m maybe too fragile for, so whatever I was able to do on my own, I have. I’ve met few woman who’ve done things like it because – unlike me, they got married to wonderful men when they were young, had a lovely house and cute babies and family holidays and Christmases. I can’t relate to any of that, so i just listen, but I don’t connect – sadly. It is often more the boys that talk about things that get me excited. And – of course – I love to drive!! I hate the passenger seat. That is the best thing for me about being single. I get to drive EVERYWHERE!

There are the odd girly things that I do enjoy: a french manicure now and again, a feminine/sexy, flattering outfit, a good day at the hair salon, but no, I don’t enjoy hours of shopping and I don’t wear nail polish and I don’t own 30 pairs of shoes. I pants to dresses and make-up enough to still look natural. I like things simple. I don’t like watching sports on television but I will attend a live game because I love the atmosphere of thousands of people supporting their team with such enthusiasm. I prefer to play sports instead.

Also, I find guys are more easy going – they have less politics and they are not competitive friends toward girls. What you see is what you get. They don’t have claws out, they don’t care who wears the most expensive pair of jeans or shirt or what you pay for a hair cut – not the men I’ve mostly met anyway. They make room for each other. I find them mostly sincere and more comfortable to be myself with.

I have only met a handful of special woman that I can really call friend. Otherwise I’ve always pretty much felt like either an alien or a threat.

I could have written almost every single word of your reply…except for the never been married part. It’s true that there is a line that can’t be crossed when maintaining a friendship with a man…or else they get the wrong idea….and then I just back away…far, far away.

In addition to not enjoying talking for hours about shopping and fashion, I also don’t like to talk for hours about childraising. Many women around my age talk nonstop about their kids. I can appreciate it and I respect the important job that it is to be a mother, but I also want them to talk about themselves (their own identities) outside of their kids’ lives. Many of my best girlfriends do that…and I love them for knowing that they are so much more than a mom, even it it IS their most important responsibility and does somewhat define their identity. Most of my girlfriends fall in the middle of the masculine/feminine scale and are outspoken and athletic…sounds like you could be one of them!

I’m more comfortable around women, but my daughter is more comfortable about men. She can’t stand the catty behavior of women! (I don’t like it either, but I’m willing to take the chance that there won’t be any.)

Your reply makes me wonder if it’s a generational advancement. have more male friends than my mother did. My younger siblings have more other-gender friends than I do. So, I ponder, do younger generations find gender to be less of a barier in friendship making?

there are lots of man days around my house and I so want a womans day. However, I met my heroine this weekend…she actually has a woman cave in her house. Everyone I know has what we refer to as a man cave…I’m so proud of this woman! I want a man cave in my house…I’m gonna’ work on this one!

I think this highly dependent on the type of men and women you are hanging out with. Some women are not so “catty” and some men are! I find I am drawn to women that are more toward the “middle” (like Tracy), who don’t cry over every little thing and men who are smart and manely but not so macho that their brains no longer work and can be sensitive enough to realize that women have emotions that can’t be ignored.
Women who are “catty” seem to have a lot going on and I don’t think I can keep up with all the twists and turns that they seem to have in their lives. As for the men, those men that are especially “tuned in” to women are also hard to work with for me as I feel they are unexpectedly emotional and I don’t know how to deal with that. My husband sometimes says that he married a man….not sure if that is good or bad for him!

I kinda walk the balance beam there (and the only time I can do so and not fall off, lol!) I tend to have more of a masculine attitude towards sex & dating, have neither a purse nor shoe collection that is out of control, I like (most) sports and prefer to wear little makeup.

However, I do love Victorian lace (if not on me) and female writers and flowers and baby critters (puppies, kittens, bunnies) and enjoy crafting when I can find the time.

I find that I’ve changed over time. I’m a man’s girl, raised by my father and very comfortable with men. But after motherhood, I find that I appreciate women friends more – but still, no trips to the mall!