Aug 2, 2008

We Have A Winner

I'm not sure what he won, but this Australian guy is definitely a winner of some sort.

A TERRITORY man filmed himself speeding at 150km/h while masturbating at the wheel of his drug-laden car, a court heard.

Just let that soak in for a minute. He was driving 90 mph while masturbating in a car full of drugs. Most people would be extra cautious when driving a car full of drugs, but not Brendon Alan Erhardt. Why? Because if Brendon wants something, Brendon gets something, whether that is drugs, driving fast or his cock.

It is alleged that officers found 4.96kg of cannabis hidden in a blue esky in the boot, two cannabis plants on the back seat, two drug pipes and a loaded .22 rifle.

What, no butt plug? He wasn't fingering a goat? I guess Brendon couldn't do everything at once, considering he was also the director of this fantastic film.

(He) also video recorded himself masturbating while traveling at a speed of 150km/h.

Was he supposed to hide this moment of glory from the world? Hey, at least this story has a happy ending.

Brendon Alan Erhardt, 39, was granted bail so he could marry his girlfriend of six months before he goes to jail.

Congrats, Brendon. You are my favorite person, ever. And that is one lucky lady.