F.U. Corner: Idiots who consider golf a sport

So, the great Eldrick Tont "Tiger" Woods has come back from knee surgery and with April approaching, we are being treated to promos for the golfing war hero's upcoming appearance at the Masters. Yay. Yippie.

It's as though this is the biggest news since the Super Bowl, only one problem, he doesn?t play a sport, he has simply honed a particular skill that has netted him hundreds of millions of dollars. Good for Tiger. Kudos. We wish his courageous fucking knee well.

But for all you fucknuts who think golf is a sport, you are fucking idiots, plain and simple. I play golf (sure I use femur bones as clubs and frozen heads for golf balls), but still, I play. It's a fun hobby that gets you outside for a few hours, but a sport? I don?t think so. Let?s look at the facts.

Craig Stadler and John Daly are not only professional golfers, they both have won multiple tournaments and grand slam tournaments. Now, without calling them fat fucks, we can all safely say the word "athlete" doesn?t come to mind when their names are mentioned.

John Daly once said he was so drunk when he won the U.S. Open, he barely remembers it. Are you kidding me? Have you ever heard a professional football player say, ?Man, I was so hammered on Sunday, I barely remember rushing for 175 yards?? Any activity where you can pound 10 beers during a round is not a sport. (I'm looking at all you bowlers as well?)

Then there are those fucks that say, "Well, they have to walk the course and that can be exhausting in the heat." Really, the average golfer walks five miles during 18 holes? Wow, five fucking miles in four and a half hours, what an accomplishment!

If you have a tough time walking a little more than a mile an hour, then you should wheel yourself to the post office, purchase the ?I am a fucking sad human being? commemorative stamp, stick it on your forehead and just mail it in, fatty, because you are a pathetic sack of shit.

Then there will be some of you over-privileged shitbags who will argue that Tiger and some of the young guys hit the gym and are in top physical shape. Sure, that may be true, but that doesn?t mean golf is a sport. You can put lipstick on a piece of shit, but it's still a piece of shit.

So, all you ding dongs out there who consider themselves ?weekend warriors? because you play the sport of golf every weekend, get fucked. You're enjoying an activity that let?s you have some beers with your friends for a few hours, so put that in your golf cart and smoke it.

Oh right, you use a motorized vehicle because you can?t even walk the course you sad sacks of puke. You are PATHETIC, so fuck off with your ?golf is a sport? shit.

His argument? That a sport with out-of-shape athletes isn’t truly a sport. Not very sound logic, even for a dipshit. If that were the case, then let’s add to the list of non-sports…….

1.) Baseball – Big Papi’s fat ass should be argument enough, but let’s add the scores of short, fat pitchers to that list. Plus, what was John Kruk’s excuse…..

2.) Football – Lineman…. need I say more? If so, see: photo of Andre Smith. Plus, at least golf requires a great combination of talent and skill. Being a lineman? All you have to do is stand in the way of other players, and then spend an awful lot of time standing around with your hands on your hips……

Jealous pussies. Anyone who thinks that golf isn’t a sport is angry because they suck at it. I can’t stand eldrick or the way the cockslobbing moron commentators are so quick to cover their chins with his pubes…however, jackasses, here’s a little Webster’s for you:

Main Entry:
sport
Function:
noun
Date:
15th century

1 a: a source of diversion : recreation b: sexual play c (1): physical activity engaged in for pleasure (2): a particular activity (as an athletic game) so engaged in

Hey bitch, I don’t know how old you are, but back in the day, there was a man named John Riggins who played for the Redskins. COMPLETE badass back who smoked cigarettes on the sidelines…and certainly not the only one. Choke on that, and my dick while you’re at it. Once again, sorry that you suck and that you’re an ignorant tool.

LOL — nice one dickhead or pussy because I can’t tell if your a woman or a man with a name like Chris or should it be Chrissy. I must assume that you are a fat slob that smokes too. I don’t give a fuck if John Riggins smoked either, the point is, and lets stick to the topic dickhead, golf is NOT a sport, ergo, they are not athletes. Just because you can’t hack that your game is not a sport doesn’t mean everyone else is ignorant — now go suck on John Daleys cock — I’m sure it taste like a bacon ashtray.

Let’s see…you can’t spell, you are grammatically challenged, and I’d bet that there isn’t an ounce of athleticism in the most likely pathetic bag of shit you call a body. Good luck with all that. By the way, have you ever heard of a non sequitor? You argue a fallacy. I’m done with you, little one. Sorry that you will ALWAYS be in the MINORITY that doesn’t accord golf “sport” status. There is nothing you can do or say that will change that. Tough shit? Chew harder.

Well there are some arguments here as to why golf isn’t a sport. Unfortunately, none of them are very compelling. For instance:

Golf is boring to watch, thus it is not a sport…..
9 million viewers watching Tiger win this sunday would disagree with you. That earned NBC a third ranking in the ratings and this wasn’t even a major. Plus it is not unusual to have 30,000 or more spectators at these events. There are many MLB teams that would give their steroid shriveled left nuts to have those numbers. Anyone that happened to catch the FBR Open saw all the people and what a circus that was. And that was in Scottsdale, ON SUPER BOWL SUNDAY! If you don’t like golf (or suck at it) then you probably think it’s boring to watch. There are many people that feel the same way about baseball (1-0 games?), football (6-3 games? Pure excitement!), NBA basketball, etc.

You can’t pull a muscle playing golf, thus it is not a sport….
Hmmm, not sure what hole your head has been in (other than your ass), but Tiger just came back from 9 months off due to ACL replacement surgery. True, it was while running that he suffered the final injury that broke the camel’s back, but the torque he generates from his lower body has caused him to suffer through knee problems since around 2002. He’s had that knee cleaned out multiple times before this most recent surgery. As for pulling a muscle. It’s actually very easy to pull a muscle when swinging like the pros. Most common are back muscles. Add to that the torn rotator cuffs, stress fractures in the wrists, etc. Peter Jacobsen has had both his knee and hip replaced. I personally know two people who have ruptured their achilles while playing golf….

You can play golf under the influence, so it can’t be a sport…..
Former Pirates pitcher Dock Ellis threw a no-hitter in 1970 while high on acid. FUCKING LSD MAN! Anyone that’s ever dropped understands how amazing this is. Amazing that he got even one out, let alone a no-hitter. And you’re telling me Ricky Williams was never blazed during a game? He’s a mega, chronic bong-banger, so that is highly doubtful. Sometimes Sam Perkins was so blazed during a game I’ll bet he didn’t even know what state he was in, let alone what city. Add Chris Webber to that list. And do I even need to mention Daryl “My nose is a wonderful winter wonderland” Strawberry?

My point is of course these are all sports, and in every sport there is an exception to the rule. Using John Daly as that exception to argue that golf is not a sport is weak at best. As are the rest of these arguments. And I agree with Chris, the reason for most of the haters out their is because they suck at golf. At least there’s always the Wii…….

Max McGee, thinking he wouldn’t play, got lit up the night before Super Bowl I and strolled in around 5am. Before the game, he told the starting WR “I hope you don’t get hurt. I’m not in very good shape,” alluding to his hangover. During the game, the starting WR went down and McGee went in. “McGee made a one-handed reception of a pass from Bart Starr, took off past Chiefs defender Fred Williamson and ran 37 yards to score the first touchdown in Super Bowl history. By the end of the game, McGee had recorded seven receptions for 138 yards and two touchdowns, assisting Green Bay to a 35-10 victory.” [wikipedia]

Golf is not a sport there arguments against that are weak, you are pulling up exceptions from other sports like baseball and football. Baseball is barely a sport, but look at how much of a leg up it has on golf. Pitching 85 – 100 pitches a game is many more pitches than any golfer will take a swing at a ball during a round of golf and is a much more volatile movement. Batting is really the same thing as a golf swing but your SWINGING AT SOMETHING MOVING AT 85 – 100 MPH NOT SOMETHING THAT IS SITTING STATIONARY ON A TEE FUCKHEADS! THEN AFTER THEY HIT IT THEY SPRINT TO THE BASE, NOT WALKING OR HITCHING A RIDE.
They argument comparing football linemen is fucking stupid and laughable. Lineman work about as hard on 1 play with footwork and pushing during a pass block or pulling a sprinting down the field to block lineman than golfers do all day long.

Those who argue, “golf is not a sport because you suck at it” are dumb. Nobody grows up wanting to be a golf star they only do it when they can’t make the football team or the soccer team making it a sport filled with nonathletic losers. If golf is a sport so is bocce-ball, bowling, beer pong, and walking the dog

Ive taken English class i didn’t expect to be critiqued on my grammar dick i didn’t exactly feel like wasting my time rereading for spelling errors, I don’t need a course in logic YoDaddy you fucking hoodrat. I don’t suck at golf I choose not to do it most of the time because its boring as fuck. People under the age of 65 should not be golfing. I cant wait until golf courses around the world are paved over and golf is a forgotten hobby of rich people with nothing better to do who are too big of pussies to compete in real sports with real athletes and not their sewing circle or yachting club.

Wow, sorry that you’re not only logically and grammatically challenged, but seemingly non-athletic and indigent as well! My condolences, poor boy. You are not only incorrect, but wrong! Good luck running the universe, stud. It’s obviously your destiny.

gooooooolffffffff issssssss nooooooootttttttt aaaaa ssssspppppppooooooorrrrttttt! the first step is to admit it to yourself. If this doesnt work you need to get help. There are support groups set up all across the country

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