How to Get Over a (Fashion) Breakup, by Alber Elbaz

My boyfriend and I just broke up, and even though Alber Elbaz doesn't know that, he's handing me a box of tissues. "But they're not for you," he says with a laugh, "they're for me."

The style legend is at Parsons School of Design to tell students some evil truths about the industry—namely, "If you want to be famous, that's easy. But if you want to be the best, you actually have to work hard."

But he's also teaching the packed auditorium full of fashion fans an even bigger lesson—how to heal a broken heart.

"If you want to be famous, that's easy. But if you want to be the best, you actually have to work hard."

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Mr. Elbaz would know: After 15 years, he was fired last fall from Lanvin, the French fashion house he pushed to new heights during his tenure. (Penélope Cruz, Meryl Streep, and Natalie Portman all accepted major acting awards in his designs; meanwhile, his H&M collection sold out worldwide in 22 minutes.)

What can his boundless spirit, and bags full of Kleenex, teach us about getting over painful endings? Beaucoup...

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Step One: Acknowledge Your Sadness

"After The Tragedy, I would walk around Paris in the rain, and I didn't know whether it was rain on my face or tears." (Cue: awww.) "People think fashion is one big party, but sometimes the party ends. And you will realize that's not always sad. Sometimes it's good. But that does not mean it's not painful. I've been watching a lot of TV and I watch Project Runway. When Heidi Klum says, 'One day you're in, the next you're out,' I am nauseous. It's a trauma. You are laughing, but I was crying!"

Step Two: Self-Medicate

Besides the tissues, Elbaz showed up with bags and bags of chocolate for the audience. "I love sugar," he grinned, "and fashion people forget joy sometimes. This will help with the joy. Take some chocolate, and give some to your neighbor.... Don't sniff drugs. Smell food."

Step Three: Embrace Change

"When the wind changes, you have two possibilities. You can build a wall to protect yourself from the wind, or you can build a windmill to harness the wind and make it go faster and work for you. I think fashion has built a wall and a bunker to protect ourselves from the changes in the world. Technology is awareness. That's all. Fabric creates a dream, and why shouldn't we use technology to realize the dream? If not, what are we doing?... Laziness and fear are the most dangerous threats to design, and to life."

Step Four: Know Your Worth

"When I was in a better frame of mind to think about being 'in' or 'out,' I realized something important. If you make an impact in someone's life, you leave a trace behind. It's not a fingerprint, because fashion is not a crime scene, but it is a trace of your work and your vision and your heart.... I acknowledged that the trace would always be there, even though I may not be...and now I am free.... When you are good and professional...when you believe in joy and friendship...don't be scared. Nobody can erase you."

Step Five: Banish the Bitches

"I believe in friendship, and I believe that nothing can kill a good idea more than politics. I don't deal well with bitches, but I do believe that people who are good friends and good artists do not play games. So I do not play games...and I also only want to be around positive people. I was out with some friends in Paris recently, and we talked about maybe 20 people in the fashion industry. And we only said good things about them, and their work. When I got home, I didn't have to take a shower, I didn't feel dirty or awful. I felt energized. And if you do things from joy, joy will come back to you."