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Oh I, i just died in your barns tonight

After the crippling meat blockades on Birminghamworld, Horatio's Farm had transformed itself into a lucrative safari park. Chocolate was their prize attraction, an alpha Bull of an indigenous herd species, it looked sweet but was in fact quite deadly.

Today Horatio's was closed as Federal police investigated the untimely death of work placement student Robbie Nobbit. "We don't know why he entered the barn, officer, or why he's naked" pleaded Horatio, "We only found tonight's worksheet on him. He was supposed to stack shelves in the gift shop! ".

Imagine humanity's joy and surprise at finding out the Jelly worms of Rinax-IV were edible and delicious.
Millions of the tiny creatures were wiped out almost overnight to feed the hungry masses patronizing “gourmet” eateries across the bubble.
Jelly worms were almost entirely extinct when one hungry human, much like the story of the Oyster,
ate some of the pellets excreted by the Rinax worms and found them to be more tasty and nutritious than the worms themselves!
“Chocolate Worm Candies” are now enjoyed throughout the bubble, revenue from the sale of the confection having saved the species from extinction.

If Only I Could Erase This Scene From My Head ...

Cue audio: single trumpet plays six notes

Scene opens on a Type-9 with a friesian cow paint job landing on a moon's surface.
A single SRV in midnight black exits the Type-9
As we follow the SRV bouncing across the moon's surface, it flies off a cliff, barrel rolls in mid air, like a stunt from a James Bond movie.
The SRV effortlessly dodges raining skimmers and ships trying to blow it out of existence.
Finally it stops nearby a ship and a posh accent reads out the words now on screen ...

Cmdr Pseudonym - Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.

Cmdr Skiprat had decided that what Dongkum needed was a new sausage
one that could pleasure all the women.
A 12 inch chocolate sausage
Skippy spent all night working on it until finally it was ready
he stuck it through a test gloryhole and sure enough it was munched on quite heavily
'That was delicious anymore where that came from?' A Jamaican woman replied
Skippy had an idea he covered his willy in chocolate spread and stuck it through..
there was a loud crunch followed by a scream..
'I don't like this raspberry filled one as much as the plain'

That's not biowaste...

Maris flicked her bobblehead, its inane plastic rictus wobbled dutifully. Outside a thousand miles of incandescent plasma, contorted by colossal magnetic fields, twisted and spun against the cool blackness of the void.

There was no escaping it, she was bored.

A flash indicated new visitors to the backwater. Dutifully she locked on and hit the cargo scan. What would it be this time? More farm equipment? Some geological stabilisers perhaps? Or more Bio-
…
-You never saw that being shipped. It was unheard of. It… just…

Not Poo. But the drabble is.

Food had been the root of many wars in Earths history.
In the late 20th centruy there was the ice cream wars of Glasgow.
Before that some crusades about cheeses had occupied the people for thousands of years.
The commander had a choice to make. In front of him 2 canisters. He only had room for one.
In one the last remaining viable coffee beans. In the other, the last cocoa bean.
Noone had fallen asleep and crashed into a sun because of lack of chocolate.
His wife would be furious, but he would just buy her some... oh crahp.

Not Really Coping

Probably just as well I missed the deadline....

Have you heard the Wispa? Everyone's a Fruit and Nut Case.
Only the crumbliest, flakiest grip on reality helps you work, rest and play.
It's the taste of paranoia, it makes the face you love light up
in terror. It melts in your mouth, it melts your head
and you can eat it between meals without losing your sanity.
Have a break! Have a breakdown.
And all because the lady loves a chocolate fireguard, a chocolate teapot.
A little teapot.
P- P- Pick up a stammer.