Saturday, October 14, 2006

Last week I wrote about a bit of an adventure ( see "I lIKE MY SUGAR SWEET") I took at a local Bar. I received many conciliatory comments concerning treatment I received fom a lady there. While I am apreciative of such comments it is only fair that I point in defense of this lady that we do not know to what lengths she had been badgered before she ran into me. I am sure that a lady tires of "cock-blocking" and some of the attempts suitors may try are probably quite absurd. While she was in no danger that I would try to inflict myself upon her, there are probably more than a few mullets willing to try the WarnerBrothers- Loony Tunes cartoon pick-up approach that I so poorly presented.Even when I was younger, faster and better looking I never considered myself enough of a cocksman to walk into a Bar and exit with a young lady on my arm with horizontal refreshments being our next stop. Not that it did not happen on occasion but this was certainly the 100 to 1 shot. In all honesty, I never left a bar for that reason with a gal I didn't already know.I just don't warm up that quick.I had several musician friends that I would go to see a various clubs. None were famous, although Buddy has been the Lead Guitarist for no less than John Mayall, ten years now.http://www.johnmayall.com/buddy.htmlJust local guys mostly, doing covers, and a lot of times I would help them break down and load up at the end of the night. I went for the music and the friendship.I knew most of the regulars at two of the bars, but mostly from a distance.A lot of the Musician's friends had become my friends as well.Fifteen years ago, I began to notice a bit of a trend.Invariably, I would be approached by a girl that would introduce herself by saying:" Why is it that a when a guy finds out that he is not going to take you home he does not want to talk to you anymore?"I'm just a regular lookin' guy...it didn't happen often...the recurring introductory statement was very odd...Over the period of three years I guess it happened 5 times.I guess it was the second instance that I fell into my comeback line:

"Maybe you would have better luck at Church".

I never actually got my face slapped but I wasn't winning any friends either. Nobody seemed to find the humor in it, and they would move on, looking for a more sympathetic ear, I suppose.I liked it, though; I thought it was hilarious and quite insightful and very good advice.One night a fairly pretty young lady approached me.

"Why is it that when a guy finds out you aren't going home with him , he doesn't want to talk to you anymore?""Maybe you would have better luck at Church"

She looked at me kind of quizzingly for a moment and began to laugh; a real laugh, right from the gut.'Oh, thats funny" she says 'is that like supposed to be a joke?"I told her that yes, it was supposed to be a joke and that I was glad she didn't take it personal and that for some time I had had women approach me with the remark that she had made.I asked her if finding a guy that didn't want to take her home was really her goal.She laughed again!I've said before that I generally don't warm up to people that quick, but here was someone that was not immediatly offended. She even seemed to think, as I did, that this slightly rude remark had a certain wit to it.So we talked for a while and she seemed OK.....I even began to warm up to her a little bit....She kept laughing at most of my jokes...After 20 minutes I still had not run her off...Even dancing with her did not run her off. In fact, before too long, as she was rubbing herself up against my thigh, I began to get the picture that if I so wanted, I would be able to take this girl home.A bit of a paradox, no?

I excused myself for a moment and went to the mens room. On the way back I saw two friends, Nancy and Jo; I thought I might ask them about my new friend Julie and met them at one end of the Bar. Nancy and Jo knew everybody.We exchanged the usual greetings ; I had known them for years."Hey, I just met this girl Julie. Do ya'll know her?""Who?" asks Nancy"Julie" I say and point her out. 'She seems just real nice"'Oh God, Steve, no, no, NO!" says Jo and she and Nancy suddenly develop a case of the giggles.They are, like, rolling their eyes and clutching each other."Why not?" I ask, the picture of innocence, and a little disappointed.Both at once say to me "BECAUSE SHE IS JUST A SLUT!"

6 comments:

There's gotta be a better place to meet people who are serious about meeting a new long-term partner. Everything about those places and pick-up lines etc. is a joke usually. Don't know what I'd do to meet someone were I in that position...probably through a friend.

Well, I like to think I would have laughed at your response, because it's true. But you never would have told it to me, because I wouldn't have asked a question with such an obvious answer (not your answer). A guy looking to get laid is going to cut his losses, and try a new, er, (hopefully) willing victim.

And anyone looking for love in a bar is crazy. not that it never happens, but come on.

i love what you said about her actual goal. touché, steve.

i'm not sure I like those girls' responses, but i will withhold judgement until you tell the rest.