Our Journey of Fostering, Adopting, and Going

Rumblings and Ramblings

I have realized something about myself as we’ve traveled along on this journey over the past 2 years. Right before God does something big, or says something big to me I get restless. I start to feel like everything in my life is wrong, I get irritable. I cry a lot. Poor Jed! I don’t have any explanation for why that happens. Maybe God is trying to prepare my heart for what He’s about to do or say and instead of reacting in quiet obedience, waiting before Him, I freak out because I love to be in control. I’m a wee bit of a control freak, I’ll admit. 🙂 I’ve had to give up a lot of control over the past 2 years and while it’s felt great, I’m aware that I still have a long way to go.

For whatever reason, that’s how my frail, far-from-perfect self reacts to the rumblings I feel when God’s about to move. About a week and a half ago the rumblings began. For the first time ever I quickly recognized what was going on. Then I got excited! God’s about to do or say something big! I don’t have a clue what He’s up to, but I want to be ready. As the rumblings have come it has pushed me to prayer and worship. My times with the Lord have never been so sweet. I love His ways.

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On Friday night we went to the Regional Vineyard Conference. As we worshiped with other believers I was remembering the only other Vineyard Conference we’ve ever been to- in Ukraine!

“I want to be there so bad. I just want to pack up and go. Who cares about our house? Who cares about finances? I just want to be there.”

Those were some of the things I was chatting about with the Lord during worship.

“I feel such urgency to get there. The need is URGENT. Those children need help now! Those Ukrainians doing the stuff need help now! I just want to go!”

As I was praying for the children I saw a clear picture in my mind that I know was a gift from Him. I saw a picture of the Lost Boys orphanage, like I was looking in at the grounds from the front gate. All of a sudden I saw Jesus round the corner, walking along the paths. He had a gentle smile on His face as He walked along, past the eating sheds, past the spot in the garden where we spent time with the boys. He walked along, touching the flowers, smiling to Himself. It was approaching evening and I knew that the boys were inside asleep. I saw Jesus approach their building where they slept and He almost winked at me as He entered the building where He walked among their beds and cribs, touching each one on the head. As they slept He walked among them, loving them, seeing them, knowing each one by name.

It was beautiful.

He is there. He sees. He knows. Yes, He wants us to act. Yes, He wants us to be his hands and feet. But we simply can’t be there yet. We are working as hard as we can, but we aren’t there yet. As He winked at me it was like He was saying, “It’s okay, I’ve got this. You work hard, you get here as quick as you can- but I’ve got this.”

He’s got it!

Jed and I know we aren’t those children’s salvation. We are just willing bodies. He’s got it. HE is their Savior and He is there RIGHT NOW.

Praise God for that.

So, we will keep plugging along, preparing our lives and our hearts for our move. We aren’t gone yet though, so while here we will do whatever we can from afar. We will pray, we will give, we will share the children with those who haven’t yet heard of their plight.

Will you join us?

Please remember Porter. Please share about Porter so his Mommy and Daddy can see his face. Please give money to his grant so when he’s found he can be rescued as quickly as possible.

Please pray that as Jesus walks among the boys that they would feel His presence and that the love of the Father would surround them, invading their hearts and minds, holding them close.

Wow Kim…you are so very right. I am in agreeance with you, HE has got this and we are going to see HIM more and more. I can't wait to finally meet you and share/confirm what God is doing. How EXCITING!!