June 19, 2005

Sans-Serif? Sans-Any Sense of Decency or Responsibility!

If you've been hanging out at the mall a lot and wondering just what the heck has gotten into kids these days, because they're so out of control and their parents never seem to care, and this country's goin' to hell in a handbasket, and why can't I just enjoy my Applebee's meal in peace for once, dammit?? What's wrong with this civilization?? The conservative Citizen Journal has one word for you, my beleagured American friend: fonts.

Not just any fonts, "Kids Fonts," the "zany or deliberately outrageous fonts" that marketers, fast food restaurants, even "sit-down joints" are increasingly turning to to target their insidious "color outside the lines" message to kids. These value-laden fonts, it turns out, contribute to the plague of rebellion and uncivilized behavior that's affecting brats of all classes, from Kmart to Starbucks.

But don't despair, brother; it's not easy, but they know what needs to be done:

WITH A STRAIGHT FACE, then, we can say that a concerted effort to communicate dignity, restraint, and nobility to children and their parents through the use of artful, disciplined fonts in the promotion of childrenís products would at least make a dent in an otherwise unfettered popular culture of fashionable disobedience and willful slovenliness. At the moment things do not look good on that count. Books by Bennett, Santorum, and Himmelfarb are well outweighed by the full force of popular culture, in print ads as well as television...

And I can say with a straight face that attributing evil to fonts is even crazier than seeking morality advice from a compulsive gambler, a bestiality-obsessed hypocrite, and a Victorian-era fascist.

6 Comments

That is the oddest explination for rebellion and lack of discipline that I have ever heard.
I mean, seriously, whatever happened to TV being the root of all evil? It's much more interesting to rant about the degradation of society when it's caused by Paris Hilton and half-nekkid Survivor competitors. "Damn that Wide Latin font!" just doesn't have the same ring to it.

I have heard of people who think Comic Sans is the Devil's Typeface,
(http://bancomicsans.com/home.html)
but I hadn't heard that ill-mannered fonts were the root of all of our kid's discipline problems.
Wow! Problem Solved! Glad we got that out of the way! Now we can get busy on world hunger and all that other stuff!
I am glad to see that Greg is doing his part to maintain worldwide parental discipline by sticking with a middle-of-the-road type like Arial, but maybe he could do more?
Perhaps you could help the cause by using a more authoritarian font like Rockwell Extra Bold or Franklin Gothic Heavy?
A Real American would......

I'm still not surprised that something like this would come out of the US right now. Let's just hope that during the next elections that we can get this overly restrictive, closed minded, right-wing out of the office.

I wouldn't be surprised that they suggest that the only font we should use is Old German.

Impact is my bane. As a HS English teacher, "clever" students are always trying to use fonts to their advantage, against my advice. Actually, against my telling them they will be flogged. OK--that's just the little voice in my head...

Just not another paper that looks like someone is yelling the whole time. Or using "Enya," or any other crappy-cute font to cunningly disguise a lack of writing ability...

I wonder if Gary Larson ever addressed this?

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