If They Cannot Come Here, We Will Send Our Love There

Love lives in the quiet. Love requires us to stop what we’re doing and drop in. Is this why it’s called falling in love?

Fear would have us keep talking and yelling and arguing so we never hear love whispering. Love is patient, and it beckons us to be quiet and still. We can only hear love speak to us when we stop speaking and start listening.

Listen is the call of our times. Listen before you speak. Listen before you act. Listen. Seek first to understand, then to be understood. Breathe. Quiet. Listen.

I need for us to get still and quiet for a moment so we can hear love calling us back.

Today, I do not want to get into the weeds of the travel ban. Soon, many of us will continue to be AND/BOTH — serving those already hurting AND working to change the systems causing the hurt.

But today: Let’s stay out of the weeds and go back to our roots. We are not a like-minded community. Our beauty is and has always been that we are a like-hearted community. We believe in the power of love to heal our own hearts, our families, our communities, and our world. And love is non-partisan. Politics is a realm of ideas – but Love is the field beyond our ideas of right and wrong. I’m asking you to meet me in that field today. Please breathe deeply, step away from the people arguing about love and together let’s DO love. Everyone is invited.

If they cannot come to America, we will bring America’s love to them.

Today: Let’s love like Samir.

Meet Samir and his beloved grandmother. Since there is no such thing as other people’s children, Samir is ours.

Samir was 10 years old when the black-clad men arrived with their guns. He’d heard of them. He’d seen their flags and heard rumors of what they were doing to people.

Samir’s family prepared to flee ISIS, but there was not enough room in the truck for everyone to go at once. Samir’s grandma couldn’t leave, so Samir volunteered to stay back to watch over her until his father could return to save them.

A whole day passed. With the sound of gunfire getting closer, Samir decided to try to walk to safety with Grandma. They had to stop to rest often. Grandma was seated near a grove of trees when Samir saw the trucks coming toward them.

They tried to hide, but it was too late—they’d been spotted. The ISIS fighters climbed out of their truck and approached Samir’s grandma. They began bullying her, ridiculing her, taunting her and prodding her.

Ten year-old Samir stood up.

He placed his small, fierce body between the armed militants and his grandmother – and he shouted back at the fighters defiantly to leave her alone.

In response, they lurched forward, grabbed Samir and pinned him to the ground.

Another went for a can of gasoline.

Samir struggled, smelling the gas as it spilled out, soaking his pants.

They threw Samir and his grandmother into the bed of a pick-up truck and drove away. Samir felt every bump. His entire right side, from his hip down to his toes, was charred. In some places, his pants had melted into his skin.

The ISIS fighter driving the truck eventually threw the truck into park and got out. He pulled Samir and his grandmother out of the bed. Samir recognized the little town—it was on the way to ISIS’s stronghold of Mosul.

“Come to the shower and we’ll wash you,” a militant told Samir.

Samir refused.

“We are going to take care of you now,” the fighter said. “We will teach you to fight.”

ISIS held Samir and his grandmother captive for several weeks before freeing them in a suspected secret prisoner exchange. They were reunited with Samir’s parents at a refugee camp and live there still. They want to go home. They hope that there is a home to return to.

When Samir’s grandmother was asked what she thought of her grandson who’d stood up for her, she said loudly, for the whole tent to hear, “He’s a good boy. Yes, he really is such a good boy.”

Samir’s body is still severely wounded and he is in pain when he walks. Samir’s father said, “A lot of people come here with their cameras to hear the story, but then they leave and we never hear from them—it doesn’t do us any good. What are you going to do?”

Here is what we are going to do: We are going to be GOOD, like Samir. We are going to stand up, like Samir.

There are those who would teach the children of the world how to fight. We must interrupt that cycle and teach them how to love instead. Or rather, we must let the children of the world, like Samir, teach us how to love. Love stands up. Let us stand up for Samir like he stood up for his grandmother.

There is a hospital in the U.S. that offered to perform the surgeries that Samir needs for free. But, after the first travel ban barred him from entering the U.S. because of his nationality, we were forced to immediately look for other ways to get him the help he needs quickly. Although this second ban eliminates the total bar to Iraqis, the uncertainty and fear resulting from reports of Muslims detained at U.S. airports, and the delay entailed with getting Samir a visa to travel here, means we must take urgent alternative action. Here’s where our friends Jeremy and Jessica Courtney come in. Jeremy and Jessica are fierce love warriors who have lived in Iraq for a decade within a couple of miles of the ISIS stronghold, raising their family and waging peace through the breathtaking work of Preemptive Love Coalition. They introduced us to Samir, and they are going to make it possible for us to help Samir. Jeremy and Jessica are finding doctors in the region to perform the surgeries that Samir so desperately needs, and together we are going to do everything we can to fund his travel and medical fees. We will love like Samir. We will help heal his wounds with our love so he can keep healing the world with his love.

Meet our sister Um Nizâr. Her husband – the father of her three children – was beheaded by ISIS.

She now raises her babies on her own. It is not easy. There is no money. There is very little food, very little safety, very little hope.

Like mamas everywhere, she uses her sheer will to turn very little into enough for her children.

We call her by her local, honored name, “Nizâr’s mom.” Her eldest is a five-year old boy named Nizâr. When she heads out to walk to the fields each day to find food, Nizâr insists on accompanying her. When he was asked why he is so committed to following his mama on these long treks everyday, Nizâr said, So nobody can hurt her.

Meet our sister warriors- the widows of two brothers –women boldly and bravely leading their families through horror.

The fathers of these two families were killed by ISIS. The two men were brothers and when ISIS invaded their town and demanded they join the militants, these fathers refused. They insisted that they would serve their community instead of fight.

For this refusal, ISIS publicly hung them.

In the wake of the hangings, their two warrior wives assembled enough money to find a smuggler who helped them and their five fatherless children flee the ISIS frontline by night.

Now they live altogether in a destroyed house with such little hope: no education for the children, no work for the adults, no income to feed their babies – and, in their hearts, the pain of knowing they could not even bury their brave husbands.

Love perseveres. Let’s Love like our warrior sisters. In honor of these families, today let us serve instead of fight.

Nizar’s mom and her children, and these warrior widows and their children, have been part of a food program that we at Together Rising have been funding since our last Love Flash Mob. They and 25,000 other moms and children are alive because of your love.

In a confusing, divisive, scary time, this community will STAY THE COURSE OF LOVE. We will stay the course of love, together.

Love stands up like Samir. Love protects like Nizar. Love perseveres like the Warrior Widows.

They are our teachers today: Let’s follow their lead and give back to them what we have to give. Let’s raise enough money so that next week Jeremy and Jessica and their team can sit down with Samir and his family, and families like his, and say: “Your sisters and brothers around the globe have seen your courage. They have gathered together to honor it and raise funds for your future. We belong to each other…So let us begin again, together.”

My promises to you:

I promise that 100% of what we collect today will go to families who desperately need it. These families need our help rebuilding their homes, getting the electricity running again, and continuing to provide food, warmth and jobs while they try to get back on their feet.

I promise you that we will move heaven and earth to get Samir the help that he needs. We know where he lives and will get your love delivered to him with speed.

I promise you that we will make every imaginable effort to provide Nazir and the Warrior Widows with refuge, food, blankets, shelter, relocation, medical support, job training – whatever they need. We met these two families when they arrived to the food distribution site that Together Rising is funding to feed 25,000 people daily each month. Right now, we do not know where these two families sleep – most families in the region live in destroyed shelters in the Aleppo countryside. As Jeremy says, “These are transient people—both in Iraq and Syria—and we cannot, and should not, control their movement.” We agree. And the team has vowed to do everything in their power to bring your love and relief to these particular families.

I promise you that if we are not able to locate these two families, or if we raise more than these families need, every penny we collect today will go to help other families like theirs – the thousands whose stories and names we have never heard – but who are standing up, protecting, persevering for their children through more horrific desperation and devastation than most of us can imagine.

I promise, as always, to report back to you about how every penny is spent. There will be nothing, nothing, nothing wasted. Also, because Together Rising is an official 501(c)(3), every penny of your donation is tax deductible.

Donna, I am just one sister in the US who has been helped by Glennon and Together Rising. Maybe you wouldn’t think a hole in our roof was “worthy” but I asked, in honor of my husband’s birthday, because he works SO hard for all of us. He repaired the hole himself, purchasing the materials himself, borrowing a ladder from a neighbor. It meant we didn’t need to fear the upcoming hurricane season, or just our average summer storms.

Donna there have been fund raisers for our country with Glennon. Many of them. I and many,many others have donated to them. You can find stories about people we have all helped on the website. Blessings, Danial

Just donated and I’m so glad I did! I’ve been feeling helpless for a while about the refugee crisis, so it was great to find a concrete way to help ameliorate the suffering. I wish more of our politicians were like Glennon & Co.

I am new to Momastery and was so “pumped” and feeling the love reaching out to me and others until I started reading the negative comments and I felt so sorry for the narrow mindedness of some. But some of the comments were excellent in demonstrating Love. Love will heal, eventually, the bitter.

Hello hello Glennon God bless you for what you are doing. I just discovered momastery today. Am a student i live in EastAfrica in a country called Kenya. I was in tears reading about the Iraq women and all the go through. Am thankful am in a country where there is peace its a blessing and i take it as everyday Miracle from God. That taught me a lot of being grateful to my creator for having parents and everything i have not that i deserve it but mercy of my creator are renewed in my life daily.

Cathrine, I too, after reading about Nazir and Samir and Glennon’s words, began to realize how fortunate I am. Though I have troubles as most of us do in one way or another, I know family love. There are so many families that are broken, estranged, and show no care for each other. My brothers and sisters are loving to each other and to me. We are a family that spreads kindness, love, caring, and help others. I am so blessed to be a part of this family. I am so blessed to be in a country that I do not have to hide to live. I am so blessed to have more than enough food to eat, a place to live that is a shelter from the cold, the heat and feel safe. I have many clothes to cover my body and blankets and linens to use. I have many dishes and pots and pans to cook with and do not have to cook over an open fire unless I want to. I can practice my faith without having to hide to do so. I can laugh and feel and love freely. When in the future I think about and feel depressed over my troubles, I will ponder on how very blessed I am and pray for those who are less fortunate than I. I will show love to my fellowman.

Hi, I’m a guy, hope you ladies do not mind me chiming in! Well a gay guy so I guess there’s some similarities 🙂 Anyway, I read Love Warrior and related to it so much, thank you. Your book was recommended by my therapist, she specifically thought it was perfect for me and my life experiences and my recover. She was more than right. I even do yoga now thanks to her and your book even though I’m usually one of 2 or 3 guys. It helps a lot.

Anyway, I ramble. As a result of your book I subscribed to your blog. Then I got your email about this little kid and his grandma. In the past I haven’t been one to donate much to charity and, partially thanks to your book and blog, I am trying to change that. So I donated. Better yet, I was able to submit paperwork for a company match. It’s not the same as volunteering which I really want to do. It’s still the second best thing and I thank you and everyone on this blog for it.

Bryan, so glad you added your comment. So you are a guy – you still have heart and love. So you are gay, you have a bigger heart and more love. You are a person – you care. As to me and my house, you can comment any time.

Today I asked my alcoholic husband to leave and he did. I am alone with my one year old son. In sadness, looking for some sort of consolation I came here and found this LOVE. My suffering is real, I can use my pain as fuel for fierce, all-encompassing love rather than fearful, self-centered isolation. Today I choose service and endless connection. Thank you.

Jessica, you did what you had to do to escape a toxic situation for your son and yourself. I will be sending love and light for both of you, knowing that even in your sadness, joy is patiently waiting for you to find it where it is, again, when you are ready. Pain, grief, sadness, joy, peace and laughter, it’s all tide and ebb. Now is your pain, tomorrow will be peace and joy. Hold on, Sister, we are there for and with you, hinking of you, praying for you. Much love,
Caroline

Jessica, I am so very glad you found Momastery. I too, just today found this website and outpouring of love. I have experienced what you are facing. Keep love, be firm, carry on for yourself and then for your son. My son was 1 year when I had to leave my marriage. It was hard raising a child by myself. I made mistakes raising my son but I did my best and you will too. Do not let the alcoholic husband direct your life, it is yours and you can direct it. Be strong – most of all be true to yourself. Do not be selfish but be for self so that you can be healthy inside and be there for your son and love him. My son is now 49 and he told me recently that he felt he had a great childhood and that I was a good Mother and that he was so grateful. He said he always knew he was loved. He remembers the fun and happy times more than the sad. So, you see, you can be “fearless” and you will be strong and you will make it. I am sending you a very big and loving hug. I love you. I will say prayers for you and your son. I will pray for your husband, that he will recognize he is an alcoholic and get treatment.

“Where you live shouldn’t determine whether you live” – these are the words painted in large letters in the lobby of my office, and a good reminder daily of why we do what we do. We are all children of this world and connected to each other. We take care of one another. We love. How can we not have love and compassion for our sisters, brothers, children around the world!

Dear Donna–actually helping in the US DOES require that we cross cultural barriers indeed. And I appreciate the ONE WORLD approach to love and caring that this action exemplifies. All beings deserve peace, safety, love and hope. If YOU want to start a cause for a particular group that you feel needs extra love and support–financial or otherwise–in the US, please do so, and I will join you. Love is not a limited pie; I appreciate all efforts towards all beings in all countries. While I spend much of my time teaching people how to grow food in their homes in high altitudes in an organic demonstration garden and donating that produce to Meals-On-Wheels (helping close by) today my support is with the persisterhood and other countries. It is AND not neither/or when opening our hearts.

God/Jesus did not command us to order who we care for first, those in our country or those who reside in other parts of the world. We are to care for our neighbor. Who IS our neighbor? Every person created by God.

Not for one moment do I think Glennon, or anyone else, is ‘throwing’ themselves into a cause because it’s ‘chic’ or ‘trendy’. It’s because their heart is called to do so.

The comment by Donna presumes that Glennon (and others “like” Glennon) do nothing for those in need here in our country. That is NOT our presumption or judgment to make. If you don’t want to help the people in another country, then don’t – help here at home. But don’t make assumptions or judgments on those who do. No one knows another’s heart.

God’s blessings and grace, in whatever form you imagine them to come in, are for the entire world, not just for America.

And no matter how hard we may have it here, it is a thousand times worse somewhere else. We are rich beyond our imagination. Do we have needs? Yes. But are our children being burned, our fathers being beheaded, are we walking miles for decent water on a daily basis? No. God commands that we do for the ‘least of these’ wherever they are.

This is not about feminism or Trump or anything other than God’s command to love and serve. Without condition, without judgement, without recrimination.

Glennon…….all I can say is, I wish with all my heart that I have seen you this passionate, this caring, this co aligning and this hard working for the poor in OUR country. For the lost children in OUR country. For the down and out in OUR country. Why is the focus of people such as yourself during this time, so narrowly directed towards refugees and people of other countries, instead of working what power you have towards the multitudes crying out right here on our soil?

Can it be because it is so chic right now to care so much for the refugees? To hate Trump so much that you will do anything for those he is ‘turning away?’ I think it is. I think, sadly, that anything that’s trendy and chic on social media, even if it’s in relation to something so gravidly important as people not being at home in their country (but they should be welcomed into our with open arms!), is something that you and the others like you cannot help but throw your entire body, mind and soul into. So much so, that as a woman, you have turned me from being somewhat of a feminist (aren’t ALL women feminists to some degree??) into abhorring the idea of being associated with ‘your’ feminism. Your philosophy has had the opposite affect on me, and others like me (this I know).

You and your sisters of the Persisterhood should work on the clothing and feeding and educating and the caring of the children right here in this country. I know it’s not as ‘in’ right now, not as ‘cool’, but it’s a need all the same and it doesn’t require us cross cultural barriers into to understand another.

Oh, Donna. You must not have been here for very long. I encourage you to go back through this blog when you have time. Together Rising, and before that, just Glennon and her family and friends, have poured their heart and souls into loving people in this country for a very long time. Go read through the stories of Helping Hands, and of wheelchair accessible vans and of women dying from cancer who get the chance to spend precious last weeks at the beach with their family. It doesn’t have to be either or. All of these people are our family. Here we believe in doing everything we can to show how family takes care of each other. It’s okay to feel love and feel despair and feel anger and a little bit of hope all at the same time. We’re all trying. Sometimes it feels like we can’t do anything about any of it, right? Like poverty and war and race and politics just make it all too impossible. That nothing ever changes? That we’re not enough. But we have to keep trying. I have to keep trying. You have to keep trying. Glennon has to keep trying. It’s all we know to do…to keep showing up, day in and day out.

Yes, we can help our brothers and sisters around the world. And, we can help those at home who need it. They are not mutually exclusive, but neither do both have to be yours.

If you do not feel called to help those who seek refuge from other parts of the world, so be it. Let the love in your heart lead you towards feeding U.S. veterans who have been left behind. Let your determination allow you to fight so that children in Flint, Michigan have clean water. Let your love guide you to serve our black brothers and sisters who, on U.S. soil, continue to live as second-class citizens. If that is your calling, heed it loudly, with vigour and action.

Answer your own call of love for your immediate neighbours. And let no one tell you that your work is not warranted, or not appreciated, or not enough. Fighting with love for other humans is never wasted. Never in vain.

With all our resources, some will serve here and some will serve there and some will serve both. And if we all aim to serve, we will all be served. We will all be saved. We will all love, and be loved.

Are you new to this group? G and together rising have done a lot for this country and for children here. Christmas time is all about needs here. Foster care, single mama’s and many other causes. Here we are so blessed to have safety nets available, in Syria there are none. We are all called to help everyone. This is not about being chic or anti trump. This is about helping people who desperately need it. If this does not appeal to your heart, there are many charities that will and you are able to give there.

If we only care for the people in our country who cares for the people in Iraq? They don’t have a community to support them. Also why is it either or? There are great organization here that need support and if you are called to support them please do! I help my local community but it should not stop there! We can also help others too. Not either or… BOTH

Wow Donna! I’m amazed that you could read those stories and then this is what comes out. My heart got so sad for the state of the world, for our country with such divisiveness you couldn’t read the story of this brave little boy burned with no healthcare and want to help him. I wondered where your soul went, where the soul of our nation has gone …and then I read the kind loving responses to your words and I saw hope. Wow you people love! Even in the face of vitriol and negativity! I LOVE your loving and you inspired me this morning! Persisterhood indeed. I will donate to these refugees today and I will work on being kind to those hard to be kind to.

Donna, since your compassion is confined to those within your own “cultural barriers,” I have given to this cause in your honor. Because I’m chic that way. 🙂 Now you are free to give your resources to alleviate the suffering of people more like you, whom you consider “ours” and deem worthy of your aid.

You must be new to this blog. That’s the only explanation I can give your comment. Glennon and Together Rising have done so much for years! But you have a right to your opinion and I hope you are “working on the clothing, feeding, educating and caring for the children right here in this country.” That would be wonderful. All help is good help. I hope you are not just using this forum to disparage people.

It doesn’t have to be an either/or. It’s okay to help others too. It’s not a weakness. It’s not trendy. It’s not political. I just think it’s the right thing to do.

Donna there have been fund raisers for our country with Glennon. Many of them. I and many,many others have donated to them. You can find stories about people we have all helped on the website. Blessings, Nancy

Donna , I think she helps because we don’t behead and burn and torture our children as whole in this country …. Donna also how do you know what Glennon does for people in this country …. We are not supposed to give of ourselves and then tell people to come see what I’ve done , we’re just supposed to do it

That is the biggest lie ever told Trina. Since 1973, we have beheaded and tortured over 60,000,000 of our innocent children! Where’s the outrage over that?? Oh yes, I remember. You all like to brush that one aside or come up with simplistic justifications for it!

I could not have said it better, Truth-Teller! I agree with the points you make. Those who support the “choice” to “behead” the unborn don’t care about other people’s children. They prefer to turn a blind eye to the truth. All this cavorting with the opposite sex without protection may cause pregnancy so why should the innocent unborn humans pay the ultimate price for their mother’s choices? They shouldn’t.
(And before anyone goes gettin’ all uppity, I know there is rape and danger to the mother and other circumstances but I am talking about casual hook-ups with no protection and the potential consequence of unintended pregnancy. And why is it called birth control, anyway, especially when some have no intention of giving birth to their baby? Shouldn’t it be called pregnancy prevention?)

Donna- I think there is room for us to help both those in need in our country and those abroad. I think the difference may be that our country has many many agencies that support our less fortunate citizen. The families that Glennon highlighted here today are in areas of the world that don’t have those supports in place. Peace to you!

Donna, as a social worker working at a domestic violence shelter, I share your passion for the people who are hurting nearby. However, this country isn’t currently suffering a devastating civil war. None of my neighbors have recently faced war crimes or been lit on fire by extremists. We have a duty to reach out because these circumstances are so dire, so extreme. So I don’t see any hypocrisy in focusing on a situation that is so urgent. It is possible for us to love both our neighbors nearby and far away.

Donna,
If you only knew all the good Glennon and her team do for those here in the U.S…this week, one of my best friends will be taking a truly magical vacation for the first time with her family, including her husband who has a very rare, aggressive form of cancer. Other organizations helped, but Together Rising stepped in and truly lifted the burden off my amazing friend and her family. Paying bills, redoing floors, and extending and upgrading everything they possibly could to make this vacation memorable. Now, they can truly enjoy themselves instead of worrying they spent what little money they had on vacation instead of bills. We are all the same. Just human. Under our skin, we look just like these women and their families who have suffered so greatly. We can do both. Together, we can do all! Much love.

Donna- take a look back at Glennon’s love flash mob history….. Filled with “local” recipients. Let me just name a few.
Kristen- does anyone remember Kristen? The dying mother she sent on vacation with her family of ten? Or how about the time she raised money to buy two ill mothers vans so they could care for and keep their family’s together. There was that one time she raised money so a single, poor teenage mom could get support, that time people from 14 different countries gave money…. huh- 14 other countries gave money to poor single mothers in OUR country… so curious how they were willing to be generous with THEIR wealth and support. There was the the time she raised money for the LOCAL kid who needed a service dog and the mother dying from cancer. Did you notice when she went to Detroit ,MI last year and gave money to desperate schools? Donna- did you give money to the time she went to Baltamore and radically changed a special needs school?
How about her ANNUAL November holiday hands. Also ‘”local” recipients. Its too bad you have to take such a great day and bring such negativity to it! Thanks for letting me walk down Love Flash Mom memory lane. It is such great work and I am honored to be a part of it.

Donna, I am just one sister in the US who has been helped by Glennon and Together Rising. Maybe you wouldn’t think a hole in our roof was “worthy” but I asked, in honor of my husband’s birthday, because he works SO hard for all of us. He repaired the hole himself, purchasing the materials himself, borrowing a ladder from a neighbor. It meant we didn’t need to fear the upcoming hurricane season, or just our average summer storms.

Glennon Doyle Melton is most certainly a BOTH/AND human with a beautiful heart and soul.