In response to a question about persistent rumours in the Middle East that Israel was involved in the 9/11 attacks, Zawahiri said the rumour had begun on the Hezbollah television station, Al-Manar.

"The purpose of this lie is clear - [to suggest] that there are no heroes among the Sunnis who can hurt America as no-one else did in history, he said.

"Iranian media snapped up this lie and repeated it."

And what's the deal with the in-flight meals? If you weren't planning on commandeering the plane and taking everyone on board to a fiery death before eating the meal, you will after. Some days it just doesn't pay to be the scourge of humanity. Thank you. I'll be here all week. And don't forget to stone the waitresses for being filthy Jezebels.