"...the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them." 1 Nephi 3:7

Friday, October 8, 2010

It's Going to Be One At a Time

My phone rang tonight (well, yesterday) at 11:45pm. Being that it was so late, I hovered by the answering machine to screen the call. To my utter astonishment, it was the director of my adoption agency! We spoke for 45 minutes. She was calling to let me know that she had spoken with my social worker and that the social worker was only willing to approve me for two children, adopted one at a time, on my homestudy update, which we will schedule for some time very soon.

My social worker's perspective is as the child's advocate. My agency director's perspective is the parent's advocate. Therefore, I will be approved for only two children for the time being. These children will be my original Apple and Jie Jie, who I will choose off the Waiting Child List, Shared List, or my Agency-specific List.

The director did promise, however, to work with me on the adoption of another child, from another country, if I find that I do want a third child after adopting my two. I think that if it was up to her, I would have my wish of adopting two simultaneously and then Apple. She and her husband have adopted five themselves and I met their youngest on Tuesday and she was amazing at 10 years old.

I have to agree that my social worker's reasons make perfect sense. It IS in the child's best interest to adopt them one at a time and give them all the time and attention. However, in certain circumstances, I think that what is absolutely best has to be weighed against what the reality is, which is that one child will get a mother and a home of her own and another child will not.

On the other hand, the new program at CCAA would probably NOT allow me to adopt two children with special needs simultaneously AND allow me to keep my dossier in line where it is now anyway.

So, I'm going to be very grateful that I will be able to have two children and that the process is about to begin. Once I lock a child, it takes only 6-8 months to get them. I now have to decide what age child I want. It's a lot harder than waiting to be matched. There are just so many children to choose from that it breaks my heart not to choose them all. I will be praying that I will know the little one when I see the pictures. Please remember me in your prayers. Choosing a child and becoming a family is something I could only trust to God.