Menu

Do nice guys finish last?

I had met Austin on eHarmony in the fall of 2004, and he did everything right. I don't normally go for the nice guys, but Austin exhibited compassion and thoughtfulness in a way that didn't leave me running for the hills. He and I continued to get to know each other, going out about once a week.

On our fourth date, Austin came over and we ordered dinner. As always, we had a lot to talk about when we were together. Austin remembered my stories about my friends, and said that he wanted to meet them. I tend to keep my dating world and my non-dating world separate, but with Austin, I wondered if it would be okay if my two worlds collided.

We were lying on the couch, and I made some joke about his moves with the honeys. He laughed and replied,

"I don't have any game at all."

"Really?" I wondered out loud. "I bet you do."

Austin slept over that night. As we got into bed, he gave me a sweet kiss goodnight and then snuggled me until morning. No more…no less. Spooning without forking was just what I needed, especially since I got enough forking from Lawyer Boy and Baseball Boy.

When Austin and I said goodbye in the morning, we made plans to see each other a few nights later. I had class that evening so we decided to grab dinner and a movie at my place.

He arrived at my door, and I had a big smile on my face. He took off his coat, and handed me a card.

"What's this for?" I asked.

"Just read it," he said.

The front of the card had a picture of the Beatles with the words, "Rubber Soul," in the corner. (I guess that's one of their albums, but I didn't know that until he told me. I like a few of the Beatles' songs, but wouldn't call myself a fan.)

The card was blank inside and he wrote (paraphrased from memory):

Rubber Soul is one of my favorite albums. That phrase reminds me of you. No matter what life throws at you, you bounce back and always have a smile on your face. You are one of the strongest, most inspirational people I've ever met. I love you. Austin.

[Holy Shit. Exhale. He loves me? How can he love me when we've only hung out five times? Try not to show him that I'm so not there yet. That really was a beautiful note! And, he sees a side of me that only my closest friends really know. He's such a nice guy. Don't crush him.]

"Thanks," I said, as I gave him a kiss. "That was very sweet."

We watched a movie as we ate dinner, and then headed into the bedroom. I had an idea — that was far from brilliant — but worth a shot. If we had physical chemistry, then maybe…just maybe…the emotions would follow. Austin wouldn't need to be as sexually gifted as Lawyer Boy or Baseball Boy, but I was looking for something (anything?) to keep me interested.

I realized then as I realize now that was not a smart move. We had only made out up until that point so to jump from kissing to sex in one fell swoop wasn't logical. And, if he loved me and I was so far from loving him, sex shouldn't be added to the mix. But, I went there…

The kissing was sloppy, and the foreplay almost nonexistent. He had a great body (from head to toe to everything in between), but he wasn't lying when he told me that he had no game. I almost felt as though I was back in college when most guys didn't have a clue what they were doing. It was so bad that it was sad.

I decided to take matters into my own (ahem) hands, and flipped us over so I was on top, facing him. I started to get in a groove a little bit. I could tell he was enjoying it, but he didn't know what to do with his hands and his face. I put one of my hands on his chest to try to keep him from moving his body, but he didn't get that I wanted him to sit back and enjoy the ride. Austin proceeded to take his arm and…

"Owww!" I screamed.

"Oh My God! Are you okay?"

"That hurt," I said, holding my nose in pain.

He had just clocked me with the side of his hand on my nose. I knew that it wasn't broken (been there, done that before), but whatever mood had barely been there before was gone! Gone!

When I came back to bed, he apologized and then held me. I was thankful that he didn't try to have sex with me again. I heard his light snoring as I started to fall asleep.

I awoke to the phone ringing. The clock read 2:00am. Austin was still snoring, as I answered the call with a whisper and quickly walked into the kitchen. (What was I thinking to even answer the phone?)