just an observation

It's funny how people are quick to point out that onlies have trouble sharing. Someone on my birth board posted that her ODD is having trouble sharing with her YDD. Hmmmmm, not an "only" issue people! :)

We have friends with a teenage only (boy), and they said he was always a great sharer. They feel that only children share better when other children are around because they know they won't have to fight anyone for their stuff at the end of the day, so they don't get so territorial about it when other children are around. I tend to agree.

My only has zero problems sharing. In fact we had 6 kids over none of which she knew - we were hosting a newcomers event at our house and she was handing out her toys to the kids. Telling them they could take them home! She has never ever had any issues with sharing and she is almost 7. I think that is a total sterotype.

I've found the same thing. Niece with a younger sibling is horrible with sharing and grabbing. DD has no issues with it. It might also be attributed to the fact that if they don't share they don't have friends and then they don't have any playmates at all. A sibling is always around as a back up otherwise.

I have an acquitance who is an only...when I have talked to her about this, she said that as an only she HAD to share...with friends for example, otherwise they wouldnt' stay friends. But, with siblings, they are always there and the parents usually make them!

I can't stand when normal behavior (like a toddler not sharing or grabbing a toy from another child) is blamed on being an only. My DS has always been great at sharing. My theory is it's part personality and part being taught to share. My friend has a DD a few months younger than my DS and we use to get together often with the kids before they started school and got busy with their own friends (LOL). Anyway, my friend and I would be in the room while they played and we intervened if they didn't share. If they wanted the same toy they had to take turns. And we would tell them when it was time to give the other kid a turn. Eventually, they started doing this all on their own. And they weren't even 3 years old yet. I heard that before 3 kids are not developmentally ready to share or play cooperatiely. Well, not my DS or my friend's DD (who happens to be her second child, btw). I also had another freind with a boy a year older than DS who was also good at sharing. His Mom was on top of him if he didn' though. And these were the two kids that DS played with on a regular basis.

On my DS's 3rd birthday my cousin came over with her 2 kids (close in age to my DS). My cousin is more hands off (unless the kids are going to get hurt) and figures the kids should work things out on their own. Anyway, DS was playing with a stuffed dog and one of her girls wanted it too. So, after a short while, my DS gives her a turn to play with the dog fully expecting to get it back again. Well, the girl refused to give it back. Maybe it was partly her personality, but I'm also convinced that since her parents didn't work with her on sharing she got the message that you dind't have to share. The following day we saus my cousins again at my brother's birthday party. This time DS would not give up a toy to the girl who wouldn't share the dog with him the previous day. He learned that she doesn't do her part in sharing so he wasn't going to share either. But when we got together with my friends' kids who do share well, he had no problem sharing.

SO, like I said sharing well is part personality and part what you are taught. And I guess if the other kid will share with you also impacts how well a child will share.