Mom: Do you have a lawyer? Or a friend who’s a lawyer that helps you out with lawyer things?

Me: Wait… what? No. Wait… what?

Mom: You need to write a will.

Me: WAIT. WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT.

Mom: You need a will. I was thinking about it and you need to get one.

Me: O…k…? Is that why you called?

Mom: Yeah, that’s all. Just write one. I’ll talk to you later.

So, I’m pretty suspicious as to whether I’ve got a hit out on me. My head tells me to watch my back, but my gut tells me that she’s probably just looking out for me… But my gut is also full of fancy ketchup.