To be precise, StarKist was 6.8 percent light in some cans. Add a little mayo, lemon juice and pepper, as my Nana did, and that’s a couple of lost bites of your tuna sandwich.

StarKist doesn’t admit guilt but settled anyway.

Sorry, Charlie.

OK, that was from the StarKist TV commercials that ran for decades.

How can you write about TunaLawsuit.com without invoking that TV catchphrase? It actually works here!

The deadline to file a claim on TunaLawsuit.com is Nov. 20.

You had to purchase chunk light or solid white in a 5-ounce can between 2009 and 2014.

If you lie and say you did when you didn’t, no one will know except you and your conscience.

Do you want to spend the rest of your life worrying that you’re going to tuna hell because you lied to a federal court judge and StarKist and Charlie? Do you want to risk perjury and a 99-year sentence in prison for $50 worth of tuna cans?

That’s for you to decide.

Water bill conspiracy

Lots of people are upset about high water bills. Believe me, I understand.

When my July water bill arrived, I went through the five stages of grief.

1. Shock. Threw bill against wall in mini-tantrum.

2. Search for knowledge. Called the water department to complain. Clerk said: Sorry, Charlie.

3. Search for leaks. I turned off my water and made sure the dial on the meter by the curb wasn’t spinning.

Dallas Morning News reporter Kristen Taketa has done solid reporting on complaints about jumps in household water bills. Residents in Dallas, Flower Mound, Highland Village and Richardson are among the loudest.

Among her findings:

Many North Texas water districts have raised, are raising and will raise their rates in coming years.

Many districts are involved in big infrastructure projects to handle future use. Some lost money during the heavy spring rains when water use was, of course, down.

Water meters are considered old at 15 years, but supposedly, when they falter, they don’t over-measure, they under-measure in favor of the consumer.

I know that’s not always the case. Occasionally, a meter breaks and records an unholy amount of phantom water use. I’ve discovered those cases, but they’re rare.