Gay Pride: Athletes discuss coming out

By Sarah Tressler :
June 8, 2013
: Updated: June 8, 2013 9:49pm

More Information

Gay Pride events at San Antonio Public Library

Work OUT:
Tuesday, 6-8 p.m., Central Library. A panel discussion featuring leaders from San Antonio's lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community focusing on interaction with the business community.

Find OUT:
June 22, noon-4 p.m., Mission Branch Library. Connect with local support groups, sports clubs, social clubs and health agencies at an LGBT community information event.

After spending eight years in the Marine Corps and doing two tours in Iraq, David Alfaro finally had the courage to face his mother.

While he was home on a visit, Alfaro's mother overheard him on the phone with the man who was soon to be his boyfriend.

She barged into his room, Alfaro said, and demanded to know who he had been talking to.

“I can remember the look in her eyes — because she already knew I was talking to a guy,” Alfaro said. He confirmed as much, and his mother broke down in tears.

“She said, 'But you don't talk to guys like that. You don't talk sweet to guys. So why don't you just go ahead and tell me?'” Alfaro said. “And it was so hard for me to say I'm gay.”

Over time, though, his mother became one of his biggest advocates.

It wasn't easy for him to come out, and it wasn't easy for the three others who addressed a quiet crowd at the Central Library last week, when a panel of gay athletes shared deeply personal stories as part of a series of events celebrating Gay Pride Month.

The panel comprised Karla Rendon, an amateur boxer and Golden Gloves competitor; Francisco Velasquez, a player on San Antonio's first gay men's softball team, the Thunder Hawks; Richard Aleman, a professional wrestler and member of San Antonio's gay flag football team, the Diablos; and Alfaro, also a member of the Diablos.

Each panelist described some of the challenges of coming out to their friends, family and teammates.

They also agreed that a team is like a family and that the struggle to come out can be eased with support from coaches and teammates.

“I think it's great that athletes are coming out, so that way you can feel more comfortable in their skin, they can concentrate better on the court, because that's what it really comes down to when it comes to game time,” Rendon said.

The coming-out of gay athletes became a topic of national media attention in April, when Jason Collins, a 12-year NBA veteran, revealed that he is gay.

“I didn't set out to be the first openly gay athlete playing in a major American team sport. But since I am, I'm happy to start the conversation. I wish I wasn't the kid in the classroom raising his hand and saying, 'I'm different,'” Collins wrote in a first-person article in Sports Illustrated. “If I had my way, someone else would have already done this. Nobody has, which is why I'm raising my hand.”

The San Antonio Public Library is hosting a series of events in June to celebrate Gay Pride Month. Visit guides.mysapl.org/pride for more information.