*Legal mumbo-jumbo: This story is not licensed or endorsed by Bright, Kauffman and Crane Productions and/or Warner Brothers. All characters and Central Perk are registered trademarks of Warner Brothers, all rights reserved.

TOW Coney Island

[ Ross and Rachel's apartment. Ben is watching cartoons and Ross is reading the morning paper. All of the sudden the phone rings ].

Ross (answering the phone): Yello.....*pause*...You're joking, right?.....*pause*....They actually did that?.....*pause*..... I'm taking my son to Coney Island today. We've been planning it for a while. Can't somebody else take care of it.....*pause*..... Ok, I understand. I'll be there as soon as I can.

Ross (turns off the TV): Ben, I've got some bad news, pal. I'm afraid I won't be able to take you to Coney Island today.

[Rachel enters from the bedroom]

Rachel (kissing Ross): Morning, sweetie.

Ross: Uh, Rach...I can't take you guys to Coney Island today.

Rachel: What happened?

Ross: We had vandals strike the museum last night. It's not too pretty.

Rachel: What'd they do? Take a few bones home to their dogs?

Ross: No. The museum recently opened a Children's area and had a Flintstone display, and well...let's just say that they're having a "gay old time", alright.

** Rachel chuckles as Ross glares at her **

Ben: What's "gay"?

Ross: Happy!

* Ross leaves the apartment *

--- Opening Credits ---

[ Still at Ross and Rachel's apartment ]

Rachel: I'm sorry sweetie. But we can still have fun!

** Rachel gets excited **

Rachel: I can teach you how to bargain shop!

Ben: What's bargain shopping?

Rachel: This is why the schools need to teach shopping 101.

** Pheobe enters the apartment **

Ben: Hi, aunt Pheobe.

Pheobe: Hey (to Rachel) weren't you supposed to go to Coney Island?

Rachel: Yeah, but Ross had an emergency

Pheobe: What happened?

Rachel: Something about gay carton characters.

Pheobe: And you're just going to sit here and sulk? Just because Ross is not here does not mean you guys can't do anything.

Rachel: You're right, Pheebs.

Pheobe: What are you going to do?

Ben: Aunt Rachel was going to teach me how to bargain shop

Pheobe: He's only 7!

Rachel (defensively): It's a survival skill!

Pheobe: Hey! Why don't WE go to Coney Island?

Ben: Really?

Pheobe: Yeah. We can pack a picnic lunch and everything. It will be fun. Oh Yea!!!!!

Rachel: Sure.

Ben: Will you ride The Beast with me?

Rachel: Uhhhh.....

Pheobe: I will

Rachel (with a sigh of relief): Oh thank God!

Pheobe: Let's meet at the Coffee House in an hour.

Rachel: OK

Ben: Cool!

[ At Central Perk. Rachel is drinking some coffee and Ben is drinking some juice. Pheobe enters with a picnic basket ]

Pheobe: You ready?

Ben: Yea. He starts to run out the door

Rachel: Ben. Be careful

Pheobe: He's so excited.

Rachel: Yea. It's too bad that Ross could not be here. He's missing out in Ben's life. Sometimes I think something that's been dead for a billion years is more important than his own son.

Pheobe: Oh quit exxagerating. Dinosaurs have only been extinct for 360 million years.....oh my God. I'm starting to sound like Ross.

** Chandler and Joey arrive at Central Perk **

Joey: I can't believe you think Judy Jetson is cuter than the Little Mermaid

Chandler: And I cannot believe that it's been 30 minutes and we're still having this discussion.

Joey (yelling at Ben): Watch out for the cars.

Rachel (turning around to see Ben standing in the street): Ben! Get your butt off the street

Pheobe: Hey, ya wanna go to Coney Island?

Joey: I've got a date tonight

Chandler: Who is it?

Joey: You know that cute model at the department store?

Chandler: Really? She so out of your leauge.

Joey: I'm getting lip from the dude who HAS no date

** Chandler slinks to the sofa in embarrasment **

Pheobe: Hey, you wanna go with us?

Chandler: To Coney Island? Sure that sounds like fun.

** They all go to Pheobe's taxi. Ben gets in the back **

Pheobe: Ben, why don't you ride in the front. The back seat belt does not work

** Rachel, Chandler and Ben all scramble for the front seats **

[ The museum. Ross is supervising people as they re-arrange the display ]

Ross: Put Fred over there.....no, on second thought, put him over there.....no, the 1st area was right