Friday, December 23

I have decided that Christmas is the holiday where everyone else celebrates how cool Canada is. Because when you think about it, all the things that make up Christmas are inherently Canadian.

(But forget the religion side of Christmas: we all know hoity toity red-staters, angry that "Happy Holidays" must be used instead of "Have a Jesus Christ-christ!" are the only ones who really care about the religious basis of Christmas. And even then, their reliance on consuming presents makes that negotiable. But I digress...)

First of all, Christmas is Canadian because Santa is Canadian. When kiddies write their letters, it's addressed to Canada, postal code HOH OHO. We have the North Pole and all possible arctic territory within our borders, and Santa's village is most definitely within that region. Which brings me to my next point...

SNOW. Snow is a huge part of Christmas, and aside of some lucky BCers, pretty much all of Canada is guaranteed a white Christmas. The carols all sing about it, snowflakes, snowbanks, and snow sleighs are on all decorations, and every child dreams of making snowmen and snowangels.

Yes, you can pity us for the other 149 days of snowfall, but I know that this weekend everyone will strive to make their home look frosty and cozy. You want our Canadian snow to make your Christmas authentic.

I was also going to make an argument about how eggnog is English and we are a British coloney, or how Jesus was a carpenter and how there are still thousands of houses under construction around my own... but I thought that was stretching it. I will, however, give credit to Norway for being the only place to have reindeer.

Regardless, Canada is Christmas. We are surrounded by pine trees, use an abundance of festive holiday lights, and don't have a belated Thanksgiving preventing early celebration of the season. Don't worry, though: my Christmas shopping and present wrapping will occur at the last minute just like everyone elses.