California Driver's License Application/Exam

For those of
you who are not "fortunate" enough to live in California, here is a copy of the
California Driver's Exam, and for those of you who do, study really hard. This is a new
exam. Since driving conditions (and culture) are unique in Los Angeles, you may not have
realized that the California Department of Motor Vehicles has now issued a special
application and driver's test solely for the Los Angeles Metropolitan Area.

Please indicate how many times
a) you expect to shoot at other drivers_____
b) you expect to be shot at while driving _____

If you are the victim of a carjacking, you should immediately:
a) Call the police to report the crime.
b) Call Channel 9 News to report the crime, then watch your car on the news in a
high-speed chase.
c) Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against cellular phone company for 911 call not
going through.
d) Call your therapist.

In the event of an earthquake, you should :
a) stop your car
b) keep driving and hope for the best.
c) immediately use your cell phone to call all loved ones.
d) pull out your video camera and obtain footage for Channel 9.

In the instance of rain, you should:
a) never drive over 5 MPH.
b) drive twice as fast as usual.
c) you're not sure what "rain" is.

Please indicate number of therapy sessions you go to each week: ______.

Are you presently taking any of the following medications?
a) Prozac
b) Vicodin
c) Lithium
d) Zanax
e) Valium
f) Zoloft
g) All of the above
h) None of the above
*If none, please explain: __________________.

When stopped by police, you
should:
a) pull over and have your driver's license and insurance form ready.
b) try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the 405 Freeway.
c) have your video camera ready and provoke them to attack, thus ensuring yourself of a
hefty lawsuit.

When turning, you should always signal your intentions by:
a) using your directional signals.
b) what is a "directional signal"?

Which part of your car will wear out most often?
a) the wiper blades
b) the belts
c) the horn

The "bright" setting on your headlights is for:
a) dark, poorly lit roads
b) flashing to get the car ahead to move out of the way
c) revenge!