Struggling

Struggling. Brain seems to have shut down. No bright ideas, no strong opinions. Just a nothingness, a confusion, a desolation. Is this anxiety, is it depression? Perhaps, I don’t know, all I know is it’s not me and it doesn’t feel good. I think part of it is the awful political climate, everyday I feel battered by the things coming out of DC. Totally disagreeble yet out of my control. The people who tried to stop Hitler in the resistance, they were amazing, they were heroes! Do we have those within us?

Anyway, it’s not all political, it’s just a mood that’s descended upon me. Worry, dejection, some hopelessness, stress, silence. A heavy weight sitting on my chest. Again not living a life.

I know so many people, Bipolar aside, who are feeling like this right now. We are losing so much ground, as a nation — far more than just the reversal of President Obama’s actions. Teddy Roosevelt’s initiation of conservtion and wilderness preservation efforts, FDR’s New Deal — including the creation of Social Security, NATO, SEATO, our other alliances for peace and stability in a shrinking world — including our UN membership, adherence to the Geneva Conventions, the Civil Rights movement, JFK’s Peace Corps and other efforts toward peace-building — all are being threatened by the isolationist posture now being taken by the new president. Instead of urging the removal of walls, as we once did — in Berlin, and the USSR — we are now seeing the construction of an actual block wall on our OWN border. These things must be troubling to any thinking, feeling human being. I empathize with all of you who aren’t watching the news, and are limiting or eliminating your exposure to social media, especially Facebook. I am doing the same thing. I try to keep iPhone touch with my friends and family, but I am being very selective. I block hate-mongering sites from my page, and limit my news watching to the weather and local news. I think this would be healthier and more productive for all Americans in the current political climate, but especially for those of us who struggle to maintain our emotional equilibrium even in a “normal” atmosphere. I don’t want to sound simplistic, but the truth is, we do create the world around ourselves to a significant degree — especially psychologically. I am trying to find the beauty in each day, in the people I meet and in the world around me. It’s part of my own personal “therapy.”