Okay, umm, that was brilliant. Honestly. You have such a command of language. Some of my favorite lines:

"howl the brokenhearted song of those who know soul-splitting loss"

"tumbled back into his mind in a torrent of watercolor waves"

"flitted around the white-clad congregation with the smoothness of staccato notes"

I especially love these three lines because they could've been generic. Harry crying out in sadness, Sirius' mind being overwhelmed with thoughts, moving his gaze from face to face. All three could've been easy, unremarkable lines. But you made them unique and hauntingly beautiful. Thank you.

Not to mention this world you've created. The Watching Room is such a gorgeous idea. It broke my heart to see Sirius watching his own death, and seeing Harry's reaction. Honestly, though, just brilliant. As was the moment Sirius realized he was dead, and the reactions of all those around him. How a world of light could become so sinister. How Ruby seemed so afraid to break the news. The animosity between Ruth and Loretta, and the latter's coldness. Beautiful, beautiful details.

I do hope you update soon. Though I don't mean to pressure you into writing faster than you should. Take the time you need to produce something you're proud of, but please, if you could, update soon? (There, that sounds better).

Please never stop writing. You have a gift.

- Gina

Author's Response: I'm the one who doesn't have words. Truly, thank you. It's been ages since I felt even an inkling of inspiration, and even longer since I opened up Word and wrote more than an introductory sentence...until these reviews, that is.

I'm 500 words into the 3rd chapter, and it's entirely your doing. These reviews were precisely what I needed to get back into the swing of things, so I'm completely indebted.

What an opening chapter! I don't know where to begin or how to structure this review, so please excuse the rambling to follow.

First, I love Ruby. Adore her. You could've so easily made her the all-knowing, vague nobody of a guide, but you made her a standout character, with quirks and emotions and everything good. Her role hasn't consumed her; she's still an individual. And though Sirius is annoyed with her, I'm the exact opposite.

I love the atmosphere. Your imagery is great, but it's beyond that. It's in Sirius's emotions, how he's torn between slightly-disturbed curiosity and a feeling that everything will be fine. Add in Ruby mentioning that his curiosity should have subsided and you've got quite the air of mystery. We know Ruby's informed but not too informed, and that Sirius is "breaking rules." Perfect perfect perfect, not forced at all.

My especial favorite part of the chapter was when Ruby told him to turn around and he finally noticed the welcome sign. Such brilliantly subtle humor. You're quite the crafty author.

All in all, beautiful. The prose is gorgeous, but a story is so much more than pretty words, and you've made sure to keep us entertained with authentic, unique characters and just the right amount of mystery. Really, I'm in awe. Just lovely.

On to chapter two!

- Gina

Author's Response: In all honesty, she SHOULD be a disinterested, uninvested guide. It is, essentially, what she's supposed to do. She's got this task, and she's taking care of it - but she's on that borderline between doing what she has to do and doing what she has to do, but getting too involved as she's doing it. She's just as stubborn and curious Sirius is, though he doesn't know that quite yet.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Thank you so much for the review and the kind words, I really do appreciate them tremendously!

So very sorry this has taken me so long to get to. Real life has managed to thwart my reading/reviewing efforts for some time now. But, I am here finally!

This is definitely a lovely piece of writing. The attention to detail is superb. I absolutely love the first few paragraphs in which Sirius is enthralled with seeing everything in such stark clarity.

Of course, I do adore that while Sirius is in Epiphany he has retain much of his former self in the transition. While it aggravates poor Ruby, it was nice to see as a reader. His curiosity is wonderful. And while Ruby may have said curiosity killed the cat, I'm afraid his may kill her (or drive her batty).

Anyway, lovely piece of writing, and I will try to get back to reading the second chapter. But it may take time.

Len

Author's Response: No need to apologize, the time on this response is pretty awful in itself. Ah, real life...such a pest. Glad you could make it, though!

I'm so glad about Sirius. He's my favorite, so I didn't want to lose his essence within the AU genre. Sort of the canon character, thrown into something totally non-canon. That's what I was going for, at least.

Hey, here to review ch. 2 as requested. I really liked the description in this chapter, it flows well and almost seems like poetry the way you've described things in such a rich detail without giving too much away. And the characters that Sirius has met so far seem well defined and the dialogue seems to flow well with the description, to keep the story moving from point a to point b and so forth.

I really like how you've stuck with Sirius's characterisation from what we know and how he may act once they reached the Watching Room and he saw himself fall through the veil, all the way up to Epiphanites telling him that he's dead like they are. I actually felt myself tearing up as he watched that spell come at him and knock him backward into the veil all over again, it hit me fresh like it always does anytime I reread OotP. Over all, great chapter and feel free to come back when you've updated. 10/10

Author's Response: Hey Leslie! Thanks for the lovely review, and so sorry for the ghastly wait on this response.

I'm so glad the description's alright! I was concerned about keeping things a bit whimsical and dreamlike, quite like Epiphany itself really, so it's fantastic to hear that I did okay on that. Also totally happy that flow is alright too, I'm weirdly paranoid about that! XD

Oh, thank goodness! Sirius is my favorite, so I was terrified about butchering his characterization. The fact that I've stayed true to how he was portrayed in the first chapter is fantastic to hear!

Awww! Well, as sorry as I am that it made you tear up, I'm glad that it resonated with you! That scene was rather daunting to write, as it's quite the pivotal moment in the series and I bawled like crazy at that point in OotP as well. I felt such sadness when I was writing it, really, as I'd love nothing more than Sirius to be alive and well!

I have to say that now I'm with Sirius--Epiphany is creeping me out some. So it's an afterlife of some sort, and from his "Why didn't you just let me pass through?" I gather that he's in an in-between sort of place? Or was that just Sirius rambling wildly in his haste? Ah, I know I'll just have to wait and see. :)

Really, though, everyone all clad in white, eternally young, and from what I see, eternally happy is kind of odd to see written out, and I can definitely see why Sirius is so freaked out.

The Watching Room was very interesting--it's where new arrivals watch their death, right? It was described beautifully, as was the scene Sirius watched. The rest of the chapter was amazing in description as well, and I can really 'see' this place, and like I said, it's both beautiful and disturbing at the same time--in a good way!

Ruby is only all the more interesting--was she an Order member that Sirius knew? A Hogwarts classmate? Oh, and Epiphany is mixed between Muggles and wizards, right? Loretta is a brat, but seems to be intriguing so far, as well.

Overall, great chapter, again! The story is, so far, getting more and more interesting as it goes along, and is still pulling me totally in.

Author's Response: Epiphany, if you look past the perfection and tranquility on the surface, is actually quite a creepy place! XD Yes, you're totally correct - definitely an afterlife. As for your other theories, you make such good comments that if I try to address them, I'll give everything away somehow. So, mums the word for this one!

Once again, you're totally right! The Watching Room, although it may have other purposes that will become apparent in later chapters, is first and foremost the place where newcomers see how they died. I'm ecstatic that Sirius' watching his death was done alright, I was particularly terrified about that one. XD I'm thrilled that you're also getting that "beautiful in a totally unnatural way" vibe from this.

I'm glad you're so curious about Ruby. :) Just keep in mind that Sirius still does not recognize her once all his memories come back! And yes, muggles and wizards alike go to Epiphany - but not just any kind of person!

Oh, I agree. Loretta is so unpleasant.

Thanks so much darling! I absolutely adore getting reviews from you! :)

Oh wow, this is an amazing chapter! I love your writing style! The interactions between Sirius and Ruby are very realistic and their conversation flows naturally. I'm really anxious to get to hear the backstory with Ruby, and how she and Sirius knew each other. Great job!

Author's Response: Oh, I'm so glad you liked it! Ruby and Sirius are quite a pair, aren't they? I'm thrilled that it all seems realistic.

Oh, I'm really very excited to start writing Ruby's back story. Though she may not reveal it for a few chapters ;)

Hey, remember in my last review when I said something about imagery? I'm stupid. Do you know why? I had read the first few paragraphs days ago, trying to start your review, but I had to go somewhere and left it to finish, which is what I'm doing now, and I realize (and completely forgot) that the first few paragraphs had loads of imagery in them. In fact, the imagery was excellent. So wow, gosh, my bad. /Really/ bad. *blushes* Aaahh I'm so sorry D: Well, I guess that there wasn't much more imagery through the rest of the chapter, so I guess I could suggest that you add bits more throughout? Only a suggestion, of course :)

Oh my goodness. I loved this chapter. I don't know why, but I think it's loads better than the first. Maybe because it's longer and the plot is just beginning to unfold? But wow. That was fabulous. Your characterization was wonderful, from Sirius to Ruby and even to Loretta. You could sense Sirius' utter disbelief at finding himself in some sort of strange afterlife, and when you were describing his death... That was extremely well done. Excellent. The flow was smooth and believable as well. I love how this is different from other stories. Most of the ones that I've read (and written, for that matter) are just romancey things about people and growth and "finding themselves". This incorporates something more along with all of those other things. The whole mood and tone of this is all mysterious and weird and I love it. I hope you go more in-depth with Ruby-- like how she died and her thoughts and feelings as well as Sirius'. In this chapter, I saw you described this a lot differently and with more lovely descriptive words than in the first. I bask in that sort of thing-- words are so fantastic, are they not? For example, "He had been exhaling; releasing a gust of breath that he had been hoped would be a sigh of relief from his quivering lips. And then in the next moment, he found his single breath caught in his throat as it burned like acid." That paragraph held such imagery for me; I could sense his fright and disbelief and... Well, everything. You used many brilliant and pretty words-- ones that don't seem to pop up in stories very often. Your vocabulary is awesome. "Marred"... Oh, how I love that word. It's pretty. I'm one of those freaks that thinks blood and scars are cool, so...

Well, I don't have any critique at all for this. Am I useless? I always feel the need to point out things that are flawed but, predominantly, I have an eye for things that are good about a story. Nonetheless I hope that this has helped you in some way. I strongly urge you to continue with this story, because not only is it a great idea, but also it is fabulously written. When the next chapter comes out I'll be sure to read it-- I'm very curious to see where this plot goes.

Lovely work, and feel free to re-request! (if you do, I'll be sure to get to this story sooner than this time around :/)

Best wishes,
silver ink

Author's Response: Hi! I actually gaped at the length of this review XD Thanks a million, hon!

Oh, no, don't be sorry at all! I did fret a bit because I didn't know how much more I could do with imagery in the beginning, but you're completely correct in the sense that I didn't follow through completely with solid imagery throughout the entire chapter. I'll definitely be keeping in mind what you said though, so look out for it in future chapters!

I can't even begin to cover how much that means to me! I was absolutely terrified about writing this chapter - the whole "second chapter is totally going to maim anything good I had going with the first chapter" nerves, so I'm beyond thrilled/relieved that you like this one alright :) Dually thrilled about the characterization being okay as well! Sirius being my favorite character and all, I was horrified that I would ruin him.

Oh, yes, Ruby is a huge part of the entire story - she sort of brings everything full circle, really. I'm definitely going to go in-depth into her past/how she knows Sirius/her death and all that jazz; I'm rather excited to write it actually!

Ooh, I'm happy imagery was alright in this chapter as well. And no you silly, you're not useless! You've been a great help and I'll definitely be re-requesting when I get more chapters up!

Thanks for all the help, I so appreciated both your lovely reviews! :)

Hello, silverink from the forums here with your review :) Oh gosh, I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to get here-- it seems like you requested ages ago.

Okay, I'm going to do a critique first and then praise:
Critique:
I didn't notice any blatant grammatical errors, so good for you :) Although I did notice the word "smilged" and I assume that was mosl likely a typo. That can be easily fixed, though.

So, I had this strange feeling that something is missing in this. I can't really explain it, but I feel like there should be... more. Like, I didn't get a clear image in my head of what their surroundings were or a good idea of imagery. I don't know if you meant to do that or not, because some authors do; I'm just one of those readers that really loves imagery. A lot. And I didn't get any here. Which is well and good, but it could perhaps be something to bear in mind...?

Praise: (yay my favourite part)
THIS IDEA IS AWESOME. Yeah. That had to be capitalized for extreme emphasis. It's so super original and mysterious and not your average Sirius/OC :D It's really strange too, and I adore strange things. This story pulls the reader in because they'll obviously want to know what happens-- who wouldn't want to read on after this? The fact that he knows absolutely nothing about Epiphany is glorious. The thought of this type of world liek Epiphany is vaguely familiar to me, like something similar to this has been written or filmed before, but that doesn't matter because you've added your own original flair to it. Also, the characterization of the girl was fabulous. Woo hoo!

This is off to a superb start, and now I'll see you in the next chapter! :D

As for critique - wow, thanks for bringing that whole imagery issue to my attention! Like you, I'm absolutely imagery-driven, and I was really hoping that I got a clear picture of Epiphany into the readers mind. I'll take a look into future chapters to make sure everything can be clearly seen in the reader's eyes.

Woohoo, praise! :P Ah, thank you darling! This is my first real departure from the classic Potterverse that we know so well, so I'm glad that the idea of this isn't totally out there and hard to take an interest in. Oh, places like Epiphany have definitely been touched upon in pop culture, but the great thing about them is that you can twist them about and make them your own ;)

Wow, this seems like such a good fanfic! When I read it I start getting the chills, it almost has a Tim Burton feel to it. Well that's how I imagine it anyways! Haha. Great job and I hope you update soon!
10/10

Author's Response: Ah, thank you so much! :) Tim Burton is an absolute genius - can't tell you how much that comparison means to me!

Update should be coming somewhat soon, actually, so woohoo! Thank you so very much for the review!

Zinny! YOU KILLED HIM OFF! Okay, so that was kind of my first thought, but then somewhere along the line I had the feeling that this was going to be while he was at Azkaban, but then HE'S DEAD!

This was so, so worth the wait. It's even better than the first chapter and I really, really loved the first chapter. See how I'm going all repetition and caps on you?

The description is just impeccable. What I love is how you've built Epiphany into this magical, perfect, utopia - yet there's almost an undercurrent of darkness there? I mean, Ruby's snark is hilarious but she's not a happy person is she?
I'm finding it quite hard to explain myself properly here.

I know this isn't the longest review, and it's certainly not the best - only trouble is I don't know how many more ways I can find to keep saying how much I love it. And so one last time:

Zinny, you genius, I LOVE IT.

Author's Response: Jack!

That I did - it was difficult too, as he is my favorite character and I would like nothing more than to have him frolicking around in a field of daisies with the Marauders and Lily (♥) having the time of his life, but if I wrote that I would probably keel over from the fluff-intake.

I'm just going to say thank you, thank you, thank you ♥ I was absolutely terrified about this chapter, so I'm thrilled you liked it!

I'm practically bouncing up and down with happiness! Yes, you're exactly right! I was really hoping that it would become apparent - there's something dark about Epiphany, if you look past the picturesque landscapes and beautiful people. Ruby's built up this seemingly impenetrable wall around herself because she isn't happy at all - Epiphany is by no means a perfect place, and Sirius is going to have to come to realize that!

GAH. JACK. You're making me give it all away even before the third chapter, you! Sh!

Anywho, thank you so very much for all the support and for leaving this completely lovely review! :)

I really REALLY like the idea of him being dead in this place. I wonder if the only people that make it to Epiphany are the ones who pass through the arch? That would be interesting. Anyways, I really liked this chapter :)

Author's Response: Yay, I'm so glad you like it! :) Not quite, but you're definitely correct in thinking that only a certain kind of people end up in Epiphany.

Oh it was so, so worth the wait and this was, somehow, somewhat unbelievably, insanely better than the first chapter. I don't know how you do it but it's so absolutely, perfectly beautiful.

I can't remember what I said about chapter 1, but this was just bordering perfection. Ruby is so vivid, so likeable, and yet she has this beautiful vulnerability and tender side to her that I love. Sirius is fantastic, and I can't really form coherent sentences or, well, coherent anything.

My favourite line would have to be the one that I think was in the preview:

"Really?" Sirius gasped, "But you've got that fantastic personality!"

It made me laugh second time round as well and I think that's what makes this so different from SITOT, as I remember the comparisons being made to that. The genre is so completely different and though your description can absolutely rival Marina's, it doesn't need to because - to sound repetitive - they're two completely different stories and plots and characters.

I love everything about this, from characterisation to dialogue to description. It's gorgeous and heavenly and because I've just remembered: I thought he was dead until that TGS podcast when I started thinking otherwise. I now feel better about myself for looking at it so plainly :P Of course, that could be you misleading us or similar so I'll have to wait and see!

Anyway, gorgeous, divine, delicious, brilliant, wonderful, fantastic and insert an array of other positively amazing adjectives here and you pretty much have what I'm feeling about this now!

♥
xx

Author's Response: RACHEL!

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

^ That is me spastically hearting you! Part of the reason this took so horrendously long was due to epic, "SECOND CHAPTER AH!!" nerves - I couldn't have this totally destroy what I had going, so there was much re-writing, over-editing and general *headdesk*-ery. But you make me so, so happy that the eons it took to produce this haven't scared you away from reading this. :)

Oh, Ruby. I'm rather fond of her myself - her snark and blunt sarcasm is somewhat welcome in such a picturesque place as Epiphany, though I do hope she doesn't come off as too cruel to Sirius. She's got a perfectly good reason for why she is the way she is - and that'll come across later. As for Sirius; the fact that you can't form coherent anything is a tremendous compliment in itself ♥

Haha, I love that line as well! And as for SITOT, I completely understand what you're saying and I totally agree. SITOT has acted as inspiration for the more whimsical description of Epiphany and even being mentioned with Marina regarding description is ridiculously flattering!

Yep, my poor Sirius is dead! :( But if you felt at all hesitant to think of that so quickly, you're right. There's more to his death than is let on, and I'm beyond thrilled that you've caught onto that.

Really, Rachel, I can't thank you enough! You've been so supportive and I'm so, so, SO appreciative of all your help and this amazing review!

How do you develop such sentence structures? Every line, every bit of dialogue not only has an incredible amount of wit -- it has wonderful details. You describe the cobblestones so wonderfully that I can literally see it in my head. Sirius is also well-developed -- more developed, I think, than most Sirius-oriented stories (and this is only the second chapter!).

I'm obsessed with this story. Obsessed with the way you tell it. Obsessed with the plot. And the characters.

You can feel Sirius' confusing. His frustration. The realization. The sudden knock in the gut when they tell him that he's dead. That they're ALL dead.

What is Epiphany? What is this land that Sirius is in? Do they study Epiphany in the Department of Secrets?

I'm brimming with questions. It was a long wait, I admit, but it was worth the wait. Thank you for writing this wonderful chapter.

♥

Author's Response: Ah, you flatter me with adjectives! :P But, really, thank you a tremendous amount for your comments - I really do smile like an idiot every time I read such amazing reviews!

YOU MAKE ME SO HAPPY IN SAYING SO. Sirius's characterization was my top concern with this chapter (I asked my beta if I ruined him completely, that's how worried I was) and the fact that his development is still alright in this chapter is just such a relief!

Writing this second chapter was actually ridiculously daunting, so I really can't thank you enough for everything you're saying! I sound so repetitive, but it's true!

Epiphany is much more than a place you go after death. That's all I'll say, but it'll all (hopefully) unfold within later chapters! And as for the Department studying it, no one except the Epiphanites really know about Epiphany, so it's even bigger of a mystery than you first thought!

Thank you so much for your incredible review, and I promise I'll be quicker with the updates!

I must start out by saying absolutely fantastic. This is an extremely well written story. The flow of every part of it is amazing. It is hard to find stories that flow like this one. You have great transistions and beautiful visuals. It felt as though I knew exactly what Sirius was going through. That strange curiosity. A curiosity that one shouldn't have because they should alread know the answers. Brilliant!

Again, this story is beautifully crafted. Your writing style and plot are outstanding. I truely enjoyed it! I look forward to reading more.

Always,
orangezauber

Author's Response: Oh, thank you so much for saying so! I'm glad that the flow was alright, as it was one of my major concerns with this chapter. I wanted to try and make the atmosphere somewhat whimsical, and I think flow is a big part of that.

This is a beautiful story, you have taken such a mysterious journey of life and death and turned it into your own adventure. I love how this is going so far and I really hope your next update doesn't take as long because this is a very refreshing story. I got tingles when he was witnessing his own death, the part with Harry. It was so heat wrenchingly sad..but in a good way haha. I can't even put into words how much I love this story and how intrigued I am by it. Oh also! I am hoping (slash assuming) that he meets up with James and Lily and Remus, it would just be so wonderful but oh god I am already preparing to cry haha, your writing is just so poetic and lovely, I know it will be an emotional ride :)
11/10
-Miranda

Author's Response: I'm so, so thrilled you like this! I agree, the update took FAR too long and I'll do my best to have updates be much closer together! :) Thank you again for sticking with me through that enormous chunk of time!

I was absolutely stumped on how to approach the Sirius watching his own death scene, actually - it's such an emotional moment for him, when it finally clicks as to what he's actually seeing, and the last thing I wanted to do was over-write it and make it less powerful. I tried to keep it rather simple and to the point, but with a kick, so hopefully I conveyed that!

I'm so glad that you're loving this! As for your hope/assumption I won't give it away, there may be some names you recognize in future chapters! Also, there's a lot more to Epiphany than I let on in this chapter - that really comes into play later on!

Thank you so very much for your amazing compliments and comments, I can't tell you how much I appreciate it! :)

Hey there, onestop_hpfan18 here to review as requested, and I am terribly sorry for the long delay as I've been quite busy with college/work. But I'm here to review now.

Characterisation: I enjoyed reading the interaction between Ruby and Sirius, and you've described a few of their traits quite well by slipping them in randomly rather than listing them all out at once. It's like a surprise if you're not given everything about characters when authors leave some things unanswered. Leaves more for the imagination before more is revealed. And already, I think you've hit Sirius's characterisation off well.

Plot/Flow: Not much plot, but so far the story is flowing well toward revealing the plot little by little as it continues onward. It's original and intriguing. I'm definitely curious to read what'll happen next.

Overall, great first chapter, and keep up the excellent writing!

Author's Response: Hello! :D Thank you so much for leaving a review, I'm terribly sorry it took me so long to respond.

I can't tell you how much it means to me to hear that the characterization is alright! Especially Sirius, as he is my absolute favorite character and I'm ridiculously picky when it comes to how he is portrayed. To hear that I'm even remotely close to having alright characterization of him is beyond brilliant!

Hey LouiseIShere for your review
You plot sounds like its going to be full of twist and turns but the way you desribe things was like they were write in frount of me. I just want to know was the Alice inspired?
I thought that to have someone not know any thing in a place like Epephany is just what they need so they will find out the question that is burning in there mind and I did like how the curiosity part played out.
Great Chapter to draw people in and great way to level them wanting more

Author's Response: I'm so sorry it took so long to review! I've been swamped with work lately and - here's a piece of advice - don't procrastinate. Because then you'll have to make it all up at the last moment and won't have time to write. :P

But anyhow, thank you for leaving such a nice review! You're right in that the plot (I hope) will be rather unpredictable, as I'm keen on adding in twists that readers won't expect.

As for inspiration, Alice did prove to be rather influential in the way I tried to portray Epiphany! I'm glad the description was alright.

Yep, you're on the path to figuring out what Epiphany is all about! I'm so glad you like the bit with curiosity, and it's lovely to hear you liked the chapter.