27 July 2012

Out West, Part Four: Lessons Learned

Things I learned out west:

I can live disconnected from my electronic devices. Amazingly, so can my children. We didn't have wi-fi or television for extended periods of the trip, and everyone survived! But I don't think I could remain Internet-free forever, especially if my dream came true and I actually lived in the middle of nowhere. I think the need to connect with others is powerful, especially if one chooses a career of solitary typing in a windowless room.

Gosh, those hiking clothes are cute! I really want to be more physically active, especially since I have chosen a career of solitary typing in a windowless room. Or it could just be that I want to wear neat nylon pants, fitted jackets, and Merrell Mary-Janes. I certainly do not want to join a gym, but I'm going to have to craft some sort of plan that doesn't involve moving to the middle of nowhere to become a farmer, because that would certainly cost more than a gym membership. Or even my own personal home gym. Huh. Maybe I could sell the home gym idea to the Captain through comparative pricing. Moving to Montana v. turning the garage into a gym...wow! What a bargain!

I can be a restless soul. Well, I already knew that about myself, but I'm sort of fascinated and frustrated by this facet of my personality. I don't think of myself as an acquisitive person, but I wrestle with wanting things that are really almost unattainable. Left to my own devices, I would pack up and move every three years or so, farther and farther away. But I'm surrounded by family, many of whom I brought into this world, so it's not like I'm traveling light.

This might be a lesson the Universe is trying to teach me, again and again. I want to go, and it wants me to stay. It's an addict thing, to want no connections, no ties to bind or judge you. It's easier to kill yourself if you're not beholden to babies and book deals. Apparently, the Universe determined that an unfettered Megan is an unhinged Megan, so it gave me weights, like the sandbags that hold down hot-air balloons.

The surprise is that the weights actually let me fly. My life with the Captain and the pack is what keeps me alive, gives me purpose, and helps me achieve my goals. Without them, I'm adrift. If I ignore the twitchy chatter in my brain I know this to be true, because even in my dreams of Montana I'm never alone. And that is the most important lesson I learned. When I am out west, I feel like I'm home again. But when I'm with my family, I truly am.

21 comments:

Both my kids are gone this week, although I had a loaner child yesterday (long story) and while I'm enjoying the quiet and that things stay where I put them, I know I'll be really happy to see my kiddos again.

I have a loaner child this week, too! He basically sleeps at my house, waits for Two to get back from the gym, does some summer make-up work on his computer, goes to work, and comes back to my house. It's funny.

It takes a while for me to miss my kids, mostly because they're never ALL gone. I imagine I'll bounce around the house aimlessly when that happens!

I understand your need to move every few years. I like adventure. I like change. I've moved a lot. After this last move we were hit with the economic downfall and my house was underwater for quite a few years making for an enforced stay. I've been here 7 years next month and can hardly believe it. It kind of feels right. : )

The Captain and I have moved seven times in the twenty-two years we've been married. We've averaged four years in each of our houses, and we just reached that number in this one. Maybe that's why I'm itchy.

I'm the kind who likes to put down roots, but I've been feeling the "let's get up and go" voice again. Unfortunately, it will have to wait. I still have things to do here, like work with this non-profit educatonal program and work with this great therapist. But when I'm done with all of that, maybe I'll be ready to leave for parts unknown. Without snow.

That is important, exciting work, and you owe it to yourself to hang around and finish it. What I realized is that the "let's go" voice doesn't always have my best interests in mind. Especially since it wants me to move to Montana, where there is a lot of snow!

I got the itchy-moving-gene, too, but I'm married to a roots man. Were it not for him (and financial constraints), I'd have moved many times by now. I think it's a by-product of growing up in a town I always wanted to escape. But who knows, maybe I'm just indecisive. ;) Also, there's no amount of fitness benefit that would make me voluntarily give up the place that prevents me having to scrape ice from my windshield.

We are married to the same kind of man. But after I wrote this, I wondered if the Captain ever felt the same way. He's had the same friends for 35 years, worked for the same company for 24, so the Magic 8 Ball says chances are slim. He could just be more responsible than I am. But I'm going to ask him anyway.

beautiful post, Megan, thanks for putting that into words. Like Delia, I'm a mover married to a roots guy. We just moved after having been in the same house for 12 years-- and both of us learned something from it. Me, how difficult it is to move; him, how great it can be to live somewhere that suits you better.

p.s. I've been working with a book called "You Are Your Own Gym," which is body-weight exercises to build strength. I can only do about 10% of them, but he has great ideas for things you can do anywhere. and it's less than $12 on Amazon. :-)

I spent the years between 1989 and 2003 moving repeatedly. I lived at least 8 places up and down the east and west coast, in and out of KY and in IN at one point. I really am a gypsy at heart. I have been here the longest I have been anywhere since my kids grew up. And why? My gkids are here.I'm trying to establish a life here despite the fact that it would not be my choice but I gotta tell ya - but for my gkids, I'd be bugging my brother to take care of my mom so that I could go. Where? I don't know.Nothing like giving everything away and heading out the door, though.

I understand. I have boys, and people tell me they won't be so inclined to hang around me like daughters do as they age. And even though I've told them that I'm moving away after I get the last one through college, I know I'll want to see them and their children. Either I'm going to have to make a lot of money and fly them all in to see me in the middle of nowhere, or ditch it all and buy an RV.

Delightful and thoughtful post, but I am not a mover. I'm a roots girl. Anything that bespeaks change, inconvenience or upheaval is anathema to me. Even cleaning out a closet makes me twitchy. Packing for a vacation...total meltdown as I try to stuff every material possession into one bag, convinced I'll need it!

I have a high tolerance for disorder. A Virgo I am not. On good days, I like to compliment myself for being patient and adaptable. On bad days I rail against my slothful inertia. I like to clean out and pitch things, but I rarely get enough uninterrupted time to do it. That's the real reason I won't move until all the kids leave--it's too hard to pack when they all want lunch.