I'm so green I bike with my rescue dog on a hemp leash to farmer's market where I fill up my organic cotton locally-printed tote bag with heirloom seed vegetarian goodies that I store in my demi-college-sized refrigerator set at 1 and enjoy on craigslist-bought dishes by candlelight with my hipster fixie-riding missus before watching 11th Hour for 11th time on bartered solar-powered TV with organic local ice-cream n'cozying up in family-owned USA-made blankets on fair-trade Peruvian pillows! Take off your Toms, honey, before mussing my Gaiam sheets!