How to Win Friends and Influence People

DALE CARNEGIE (1888-1955), was a pioneer in public speaking and personality
development. He became famous by showing others how to become successful.
Two of his most famous maxims are, "Believe that you will succeed,
and you will," and "Learn to love, respect and enjoy other people."

Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936) is the
grandfather of all people-skills books. It was first published in 1936
and has been translated into many languages. It was an overnight hit,
eventually selling more than 15 million copies.

How to Win Friends and Influence People is just as useful today as it
was when it was first published, because Dale Carnegie had an understanding
of human nature that will never be outdated. Before you learn the social
principles to fascinate, titillate, captivate and be great at flirting,
you need to know the fundamental principles of dealing with people.

He teaches these skills through underlying principles of dealing with
people so that they feel important and appreciated. He also emphasizes
fundamental techniques for handling people without making them feel manipulated.
Carnegie says you can make someone want to do what you want them to by
seeing the situation from the other person's point of view and "arousing
in the other person an eager want."

You learn how to make people like you, win people over to your way of
thinking, and change people without causing offense or arousing resentment.
For instance, "let the other person feel that the idea is his or
hers," and "talk about your own mistakes before criticizing
the other person." Carnegie illustrates his points with anecdotes
of historical figures, leaders of the business world, and everyday folks.
This is Dale Carnegie's summary of his book, from 1936

How to Win Friends and Influence People

Table of Contents

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

Six Ways to Make People Like You

How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing
Resentment

Part OneFundamental Techniques in Handling People

Don't criticize, condemn or complain.

Give honest and sincere appreciation.

Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Part TwoSix ways to make people like you

Become genuinely interested in other people.

Smile.

Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most
important sound in any language.

Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.

Talk in terms of the other person's interests.

Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

Part ThreeWin people to your way of thinking

The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.

Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're
wrong."

If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.

Begin in a friendly way.

Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.

Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.

Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.

Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.

Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.

Appeal to the nobler motives.

Dramatize your ideas.

Throw down a challenge.

Part FourBe a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing
Resentment

A leader's job often includes changing your people's attitudes and behavior.
Some suggestions to accomplish this:

Begin with praise and honest appreciation.

Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.

Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.

Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.

Let the other person save face.

Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be
"hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise."