Foreign Office questions today, and MPs were still excited about the alleged sexual chemistry between David Miliband and Hillary Clinton.

Sir Peter Tapsell, grandest of all grandees, rose in all his majesty on a question about Yemen. He was enraged by suggestions that foreign twoops (Sir Peter has a slight speech impediment) might go "blundewing into a fourth Islamic countwy!" Could he remind the foreign secwetarwy that the northern frontier of Yemen was only 360 miles from Mecca, and that two main land routes used by hajj pilgrims went through Yemen? And that thousands of Yemenis had fought against the Wussians in Afghanistan?

Mr Miliband said how disappointed he was to have to actually agree with Sir Peter: "He has spoken with characteristic force and uncharacteristic accuracy." Yemenis played an important role all around the world, "including in South Shields, the historic centre of the Yemeni population in this country".

I did not know this. Presumably Mr Miliband likes nothing better than a plate of mellawach (Yemeni bread) with zchug (spicy hot sauce) on a Friday night. He could chug a few pints, then chug some zchug.

Keith Vaz was almost licking his lips when he talked about the "strong personal relationship" between Mr Miliband and Mrs Clinton, who has described him as "vibrant and attractive". This was the opportunity for him to visit Yemen – with her. He made it sound like a lost extract from Omar Khayyám: "A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, and thou, beside me with a position paper offering coalition support, economic and advisory, for government initiatives against disruptive elements ..."

You might think Mr Miliband would try to shrug off this erotic speculation and give a serious answer. Not. "Needless to say," he purred, "I have thought of many places for a joint visit with the secretary of state ..."

A Tory yelled: "South Shields!"

"And I will certainly bear in mind the attractions of Yemen!"

Whether his new squeeze will help him against the Argentinians and their fresh claims on the Falklands seems more doubtful. It must be awful for the government. In 1982, a war there turned Margaret Thatcher into a landslide winner. But it's too late for another war now. Ministers had to be satisfied with sounding tough – flag-waving against the sabre-rattling.

Soon, with relief, they moved on to moves to ban Buckfast tonic wine from Bermuda. This was raised by Ian Davidson, a Glasgow MP, who called it a "noxious substance". It's so thrumming with alcohol and caffeine that it allegedly creates antisocial disorder, being known in Glasgow as "wreck the hoose juice". I see David Miliband and Hillary Clinton toasting each other over a romantic glass or two. Then smashing up the hotel lobby.