Sunday, June 27, 2010

changes at the cottage

Yesterday one of my roommates (Sarah) and I switched bedrooms! Sometimes, this girl likes and needs change - and this is one of those times! I am excited about the new room. I have been in the old one since I moved into the house a little over a year ago, and so this change will be refreshing!

One of the reasons we decided to switch is because my room is downstairs and her room is upstairs. So I am always freezing and turning off the air conditioner - and Sarah is always hot and turning on the air conditioner. So we thought... why not switch rooms? I did have the biggest room in the house so that is another perk for Sarah (LOL), but her room (well, my new room) is the second biggest, and it's actually not that much smaller - so it's still good :)

I am excited to be upstairs where it will be warmer and the bedroom windows are bigger so more sunshine will shine in, and I love that too! So... change can be good! It can!!

Yesterday was craziness! I worked from 6am - 2:30pm. I was going to try to leave earlier but I had so much to do and didn't even get it all done, so I had to come in today too (for a few hours) to finish everything. Then I came home and spent the rest of the day moving and unpacking. Two guys came over to help us move the heavy furniture (which was very much appreciated!) and another one of Sarah's friends also came over to help. It was so tiring because we had to move up and down two flights of stairs over and over and over... I was so tired before we started - and exhausted by the end of the night.

But I am happy and excited about my new room, and I hope Sarah is too! My goal is to have everything unpacked and organized by tonight because this girl hates messes and things being out of place. But I got a ton done yesterday so I think I should be able to finish by tonight. Yippee!

There is one thing I need to confess... My food intake yesterday was not good at all! (it's usually not that great anyways, but struggling to eat combined with all the energy/calories burned yesterday from being so active - aren't good for a girl who is trying to gain weight...note to self: jenn! you know better & you have been in recovery loooong enough - so stop it!! ") And the thing that bugs me the most is that I was loving the fact that I was burning calories and that addicted feeling was seriously out of control! I was getting my endorphins from all the running around and restricting. It was dangerous for me mentally.

Also adding to it was the fact that since I have been gaining weight, I have been struggling so much with my body and body image...a ton!!! So, I welcomed the exercise and the "I'm too busy" excuse when it came to eating... I hate when the ed takes over like that. Seriously. I know I should have eaten. I know I messed up yesterday. I know I mess up most days... But I alsoknow that oneday like that isn't going to really cause any weight loss, and besides, there is a family BBQ on monday that I gots to go to - so I can try to eat a bit more there, maybe. I am not as worried about the weight loss as I am about where things like this put me mentally... does that make sense? But in an attempt to fight off those ed thoughts - I did have an oreo cookie (the new strawberry milkshake ones) at my sister's house when I went over there for a few minutes last night. It tasted pretty good actually - but one was more than enough for me!

Anways, I did have a good day. Despite the stress of work & moving (the stress was mostly from work). And I socialized and talked with my roommates more. Which is something I am trying to work on. I am really good at being by myself and in my "own little world" and I am trying to break out of that. Which reminds me, that is another thing that I am going to like about being upstairs. I won't be as isolated and I will be around my roommates and people more. Less hiding = less opportunity for the ed to tempt me with harmful behaviors. I better go, cause I have got alot to do today, and my break at work is over. But, I have the next two days off from work so... yippee for that!!!

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(the reason our house is called "the cottage" is because: the church I attend did a service project there the summer before I moved in. They cleaned up the yard and did a lot of work outside. It's a long story, but somehow it got nicknamed the cottage from the singles ward. There is always a bunch of single girls living in the house (there are six of us!) and it started as a joke and just kind of stuck. Anyways, that probably confused you more so... sorry! LOL).