This year has certainly been one of ups and downs, and one particularly bad situation that I had to pull myself out of.

There are times when it seems as though things are going super well. Someone notices your hard work, likes what you do, and wants to work with you. Even better if they’re someone from the industry you’re in (music), and seems to have accomplished great things of their own already. You feel validated, for all the effort you’ve put in, that finally is being recognized.

I’ve been approached this year by a few (musical) propositions that started out promising but didn’t end so well. One of them was looking for a vocalist for his song, but as it turned out the song contained lewd, crass lyrics disguised as “empowerment”. He said I was allowed to say no, but seemed offended when I did.

But the one incident which made the largest impact on me this year was the producer who wanted to launch his solo career with a collaborative album full of features. He got several artists to write his album with him and sing on his tracks. He had a plan to raise funds through merchandise sales (before releasing the album or having any following) and fly the artists in to Los Angeles for his album launch concert – within a very tight time frame, and with very little prior experience. Needless to say, he was unable to execute his plans.

To top it all off, I tried to help him out as I had prior experience with fundraising, but what I thought was kindness completely backfired. I started the fundraising on my end to have a chance of raising enough funds to fly me from Singapore to Los Angeles (which costs at least US$1,000) by selling custom designed merchandise on my website. But instead of recognizing and appreciating my efforts, he started accusing me of “stealing money from him”… that is, funds raised from my own fans through my own hard work.

I’m sharing about all this to say that music is a struggle. This industry is really complicated and difficult to navigate. As independent artists, we don’t necessarily have the support and guidance of industry veterans to help us make the right decisions – or even know if they would be the right ones, since the industry is always evolving. All we can do is stay true to ourselves and keep on going, no matter how hard we’ve been hit.

In my case, I’m glad to say that I came out of this all the better for the experience. I decided to go on the trip anyway (well I had already bought my tickets lol), and it turned out to be an epic one. I met six-time Emmy award winner Eddie Wohl, who had also co-written the song with me on aforementioned producer’s album. I wrote a whole new song about this incident and it’s a total banger (it’s called ‘No Sorries’). I had sessions in person with people I had been working with remotely, and some whom I had never been able to work with before. I met new friends and old ones, and they were all very very kind to me and helped me make the best of my time in LA.

Turning a bad situation into a great song

And the producer? He really did himself in by basically being a jerk to people in public. He announced that he would release another co-written song for another artist without said artist’s permission, and pretty much the entire music community we knew disassociated themselves from him. The best revenge is the one you didn’t have to take.

If you’re a musician or an independent artist like myself, and you’ve gone through struggles in 2019, this is for you: Stay strong. Play smart. Make the best of a bad situation. Keep going, and don’t give up. 2020 holds many more opportunities for you as long as you keep showing the world what you’ve got.

And if you’re not a musician but you’re reading this anyway, I hope you have a slightly better appreciation of artists and what we do. Celebrate our big wins with us, but also our smaller ones, because no success ever came easy.

With that, let’s set our sights on the year ahead (2020 Vision!) and focus ourselves on making it an awesome one to come. Here’s wishing everybody a wonderful 2020 ahead!

(And if you’d like to watch my vlog from the LA trip this year, you can view it below:)

It’s only the first few days of 2019 and I’m already encountering many new challenges.

One is about managing my music career. My main stumbling block is trying to self-manage my career. As an independent artist, I’m having to make a lot of business and marketing decisions on my own, on top of the creative choices and work that I do on my actual music. And business is not a field that I’m very familiar with. Nevertheless, I am learning a lot along the way, and learning the hard way, too – by making a ton of mistakes! I know though that if we don’t make mistakes we don’t grow, and I do hope to be able to grow, and rapidly, from this process.

To that end, I have certain goals for the next three months:

Setting up my web store and letting it run independently

Planning a marketing strategy for the first quarter of 2019, focused on audience growth

Finishing up some songs in the studio (vocal recording and music production)

I’ve also encountered a second challenge, which is communicating things properly as a project manager. I have to liaise between several different groups for some of the work we are doing, and it’s a constant battle. I think I did quite alright managing the originals showcase on 8 Dec, but now we are on to new projects and it’s a whole new job to do. I’m not complaining, just recognizing that the work is compartmentalized and bounded by certain timeframes, and trying to manage it that way. With multiple projects ongoing, it can be challenging to manage them all at once (and also be doing quite a bit of the work involved), but I hope to be more organized with this and handle things better in the next three months.

I’m really very grateful for everyone who has given me advice over the past few months. I really have a lot to learn and I hope to be able to make this work much more smoothly as things go on.

This blog post is a reflective one, I’m trying to be very honest with myself and my strengths and weaknesses and write them all down so that I can have an accurate review of my performance over time (and throughout the process). It would be interesting to compare with a future blog post perhaps this time next year, I’m looking forward to personal improvements 🙂

As you guys know, I recently did a show at the Esplanade as part of Voices – A Festival Of Song, where I performed my own original songs, most of them for the first time. It was an incredible honour to be invited back to perform at the Esplanade, and I could not have asked for a better opportunity to debut my songs. (I sang 8 original songs in total. You can catch the show on Facebook live here and here!)

While there’s a lot that can be said about the show itself, I’d like to spend a bit of time talking about the work that went behind putting this show up. Being an independent musician means that I pretty much handle everything that needs to be done, or am responsible for finding someone to do it. And I’m looking back on the work I’ve done so far not to brag about it (not sure who really cares, lol), but more for myself to celebrate how much I’ve managed to accomplish so far. Because it’s important to celebrate the little milestones!

So, taking stock of what I’ve done this year:

1. Made a website

Alright, the first step to launching an artist identity is making a website, I suppose. This was really unplanned, I was initially looking at setting up a very different kind of website, but it somehow evolved into making my artist website (which I thought was a bit too early because my songs were still works in progress, but after a while realized it was just the right timing). I spent two solid weeks labouring away at the website, but am very satisfied with the end result, and just love how it looks now (especially the smoky effect on the main page, which moves with the mouse on desktop view, I think I’ve squealed about this before. Squeals again!). And now I have a web presence that I’m proud to show to people!

2. Planned a fundraising campaign

How did this fundraising campaign come about? Looking back now, I remember thinking I needed money for production expenses, and with my unstable freelance work I wasn’t able to raise it very quickly by myself. I needed help. That’s when I came up with the idea of selling USB drives containing the acoustic version of Loaded (which will be my very first song release under my own artist name).

It was risky, but it paid off. I actually raised my target amount after only selling half the USB drives, thanks to extremely kind and generous contributions by several strong supporters (I am so, so grateful). Another important thing this showed me was that I could conceivably sustain my artistic career. And now I have money to do other things with!

3. Expanded my merchandise

With the capital I raised from the campaign, I thought about what was best to invest in. What could give me some returns or grow my capital? My conclusion: more merchandise.

Several of my followers had told me they would buy tote bags or t-shirts, so I checked out the feasibility of getting those made. While doing so, I also considered other cheaper items that I could make, and ended up with button badges, postcards, and stickers. The button badges are actually handmade by myself and my dear friend Nik, a super talented artist (you can find her art on her Instagram)! Now I have more items to offer for sale along with the remaining USBs, to raise a bit more funds to support the production expenses I need to make (which I consider to be sunk costs).

4. Put on a show

Of course, an artist can’t get caught up in the business side of things – at the end of the day, it’s all about the performance. So I pulled out all stops to make the show as appealing and engaging as possible. From figuring out my look, to working on acoustic versions of my songs with my talented guitarist Pat, to sorting out harmonies with my guest performer and music bestie Zaleia, to incorporating audience participation wherever I could, I tried to make sure people who came for my show would enjoy it and remember it.

And of course, behind all of this…

5. I wrote a bunch of songs!!

None of this would even matter at all if not for the songs I’d written over the past year (or two). I’m really grateful to be able to have good friends to work on these songs with, who were there to give feedback or a second opinion, and be my sanity check whenever I wanted to put in something weird (not sure if one or two weird things may have slipped through though). Especially to the producers, Si Hao for being like the most talented and versatile producer ever plus a genuinely awesome person, and Riki for being so fresh and creative, and just super easy to work with. Very proud to have created music with awesome people like these guys!

For other aspiring musicians out there, starting out like me – this is by no means a “how to” of any kind. I’m also just starting out and figuring things out as I go. This is just my own story, of how I’ve gotten here, at the end of 2018. It’s also a bit of closure for me, so I can gear up for the exciting new plans ahead for 2019!

What’s next…?

I’ll be focusing on a few things for 2019:

1. Web store

This should be up soon, as soon as I can figure out how to set it up, anyway!

2. Recording music

Now that my songs are more or less written, I foresee myself spending a lot of time in the studio recording and working on finalizing the production.

For those of you who may not yet know, I was selected to perform as a bellydancer in Universal Studios Singapore’s Halloween Horror Nights 8 (HHN8) this year. In my brief I was told that in HHN8, I will be doing a solo tribal bellydance as part of a mini show. I thought I would write this blog post to put down my thought process from applying to the job up til the first rehearsal, which was yesterday.

When I was asked to audition, I was very surprised. I have always been bellydancing out of sheer love of the dance. For various reasons I figured I would hardly be called upon for a job because of my bellydancing abilities. But I submitted my application, and was chosen, to my even bigger surprise.

Once I signed the contract, I told myself, I need to do my best. In thinking of how to prepare for the dance, which I had to choreograph as well, I figured the best thing to do was to go and learn tribal bellydance, because I’ve been learning Oriental bellydance and some Saidi all this while. Luckily, I found someone who teaches tribal fusion in Singapore, and took a trial class, though I was unable to take a course because their course was just ending. I also watched a lot of Youtube videos just to understand what tribal bellydance was about. That was unfortunately all I could do to prepare as I didn’t know what the stage directions were going to be during my segment, which I would only find out during the rehearsal.

At the first rehearsal, the stage choreographer showed me where I should move onstage. Then we did an initial run-through of my segment, and I had nothing except freestyle. There was no choreography or particular technique I had in mind, I just moved according to how the music made me feel. At the end, the choreographer and everyone applauded. That was unreal.

We did a couple more run-throughs where I had more choreography worked out, but according to the notes I received afterwards, it turned out the choreography was getting in the way of my performance. That was a significant realization for me, because I had to start thinking about my approach in a different way. I realized I had been focusing too much on the technicalities of dancing, whereas what the production needs, is a damn good performance. With this in mind, I modified my approach to the dance, and tried to respond organically and fluidly to the music, rather than worrying too much about a fixed choreography.

I am very grateful to every theatre and dance production I’ve been a part of in the past, because all of those experiences have helped me keep my mind open and flexible to be able to adapt to the needs of this production. Though I love bellydance and really enjoyed learning a new bellydance style, I cannot lose sight of the overall impact that I need to make in my role in the production. And can I say, I am so proud and happy to be part of a production again – and one that’s extremely well-organized, with amazing performers and behind the scenes people. I’m so looking forward to a month ahead of Halloween Horror Nights 8!

The end of the year is drawing near (ooh, a rhyme) and I’ve been reflecting a bit on my music journey, to see if I’m anywhere near where I wanted to be.

In the first half of the year I wanted to be writing music, which I did, and through that process I learnt a lot about songwriting, producers, how the industry works, and got to meet new people which is so great. From people overseas to people in Singapore, I got to know a good mix, and everyone has been super friendly and helpful, which I’m so glad for.

Skype chat with Noella Nix, an amazing singer/songwriter from Australia!

In particular I met Hasso, who is an amazing producer hailing from Germany, and who totally gets the pop/EDM sound that I love. Working with him on music has been amazing, and I’m happy to be able to call someone so talented a friend.

Met up with Hasso in Berlin and had a great time 🙂 (feat. Ngoc Anh’s awesome coat)

I also took some time off for myself, and while doing that was able to reconnect with a dear friend I met in Aarhus four years ago at a vocal festival; it’s so coincidental that we are both on a singer-songwriter path now. Ngoc Anh showed me the warmest hospitality in Berlin, housing me and bringing me to all the open mics, and through her I got to know more about the music scene in Berlin. (And got to perform, too!)

Ngoc Anh also accompanied me on a cover of an old song by a Singapore band <3

In the second half of the year I wanted to be performing (in the sense of getting jobs). I did get a few music gigs which I’m very happy for, and I also learnt a thing or two about what it’s like “playing nights”. To be honest, what I’ve learnt so far ain’t pretty. But I guess that’s how this industry can be.

If there’s one thing I’ve gained from these experiences so far, though, it’s this: I need to be able to play and sing.

Ok seriously, anyone who has seen me play and sing before (which is everyone I knew in Tembusu during my uni days) knows how bad I am at it. I’m way more comfortable on a big outdoor stage backed by a full band than I am with just a single instrument and my inexperienced hands. I would rather be dancing to intense choreography and throwing swag around in front of a sold out concert hall than trying to figure out chord progressions and play them in time to my singing.

But, there’s always gonna be a new challenge ahead. It can take any shape or form. But it has to be overcome. And right now, my next challenge is to be able to put up a musical performance all on my own (not karaoke). That means going back to the scary cave of previous bad experiences, and trying to fight the beast again :/

My dream keyboard (but if I can’t get the red I’d be very happy with the normal one)

Looks like 2018 is going to be the year I find out how badly I want to do music as my career!

So this story has hit Singapore shores today. Kudos to those who spotted it first! Guess it’s time for me to share it myself 🙂

I’m so happy and honoured to be part of this photography project with a message, but more so, part of a movement. This is the crossroads where art and social impact intersect, and I couldn’t be luckier to be able to play a role. It is everything that I want to do with art – sending a positive message out to the world, which people can interpret in their own way, hopefully in a good way. And I’m happy that so far I’ve received nothing but positive (or entertaining) responses!

For those who aren’t intending to read the actual article(s), just take away one idea: that female sexuality is not a taboo thing, or something on TV that’s supposed to be ‘sexy’. It’s something ladies should learn about on their own terms, and not be afraid to talk about.

With the recent #metoo phenomenon, too, this story couldn’t have gone viral at a better time.

Anyway, enough words. It is my greatest honour to have worked with the amazing photographer Marcos Alberti on this project. I hope to always be able to create positive, empowering art that has an impact on people.

It’s only been a week into 2017 so far, there’s still time to do a review of 2016! Mostly, it was about my journey to becoming a solo artist.

2016 was a lot better than 2015 for me. Musically, my 2016 has been full of adventures. It was definitely the start of new beginnings, with my vocal group SASS going on hiatus in Feb after two eventful years (on Valentine’s Day, also known as our anniversary hehe). Though we are no longer working on original songs together, we still sometimes perform together for shows. It’s always great to perform with these girls, and I really can’t get enough of our vocal harmonies!

SASS at one of our performances last year.

I also got together with another talented vocalist/producer and two extremely skilled beatboxers, and we formed a group called Little Red Dots. The awesome thing about making music with them was that firstly they were all guys and this was a new thing for me to figure out how to sing in a group where all the other vocals and parts were male (a big jump from SASS as an all-female trio). And best of all, we were going after a very urban, beats-oriented underground sound. Our first cover was a drum and bass remix of a pop song, which basically sat perfectly within my musical tastes:

Well, Little Red Dots didn’t go on hiatus, but everyone is so busy with such conflicting schedules that we may as well be! Nevertheless we did some great gigs:

LRD performing at a National Day event.

LRD performing at the Manhunt finals show – Caleb was a Manhunt winner!

Above all, 2016 was the year when I finally had to face up to the fact that I needed to become a solo artist to pursue my music as fully as I am able.

This may not seem like a big deal for some, but it was a very big deal for me. I have basically been working in groups all these years (I used to be in several a cappella groups and bands like my university band The LaundroMATs), and I’m very much a group-oriented person. So to become a solo artist was really, a pretty terrifying idea. Though I’m used to being in the spotlight as a vocalist, I’m also used to being credited in my group, because it’s always a group effort that’s needed to pull off a show. How was I going to shoulder the entire responsibility of a performance by myself?

After thinking a lot about it, I realized what was the one thing really holding me back: my insecurities. I didn’t have confidence in my own abilities. And I also realized, most importantly, that if I didn’t have confidence in my own abilities, it didn’t matter how talented or not I was, I was going to go nowhere.

So I took a leap of confidence, and started my YouTube channel (more on that in another post). And it was great, because now I’d finally started, I began to know exactly what I needed to be able to do in order to make good videos, and create quality content as a solo artist.

That’s how 2016 became the year of training and equipment acquisition. I saved some money to buy a decent recording microphone, and learnt the basics of vocal recording. I recorded my vocals to backing tracks created by other people, and made videos to post on YouTube. And at the end of the year, frustrated with my limitations in making my own videos to a decent standard, I bought myself a good camera so I could really tackle this video making issue.

This year, it seems, is looking to also be a year of training and self-improvement. I’m still just at the very beginning of a music career, and I hope to be able to take some steps forward in that this year, particularly as a songwriter. I still love to perform so I will be focusing my YouTube channel on improving my own performance, as well as technical skills (vocal and video production). And there are a couple other online courses I’m looking at taking as well.