Life on the Edge of Everything and Nothing

Menu

Three months into this marriage thing and I finally check back in with you guys.

I have disappeared and reappeared more times than you can probably care to remember.I’m not going to make any excuses. Just chop it up to laziness when I do have the time to say something.

I truly commend all of you bloggers that are able to keep on posting and living life all at the same time. I was all good getting my posts up until you throw a wedding into it. Then I was all like, “Oh my gosh, so many things to do!” I was overwhelmed and just stopped… So anyway. Here are some pictures from my life since my last post.

We ordered our flowers from Sam’s club. Brandon and I arranged all the bouquets for myself and the bridesmaids. The baby’s breathe was used in the centerpieces. Let me know if you would like pictures of the finished centerpieces and bouquets.

I had my nails done with shellac for the day of the wedding.

My lovely grandfather walked me down the aisle.

My son and nephew were the ring bearers. Rebecca Laurel Photography took our engagement and wedding photos.

It was 90+ degrees the day of our wedding and we were sweating something terrible the instant we walked outside. Therefore I opted our of wearing a veil.

Our first photo together the day after the wedding.

We went to Florida for our honeymoon and took Joshua with us. My brother and his wife reside in Florida and since Joshua’s birthday was that week we didn’t want to leave him. He spent a few nights with family so we could have some alone time. This was Brandon’s first time on a Jet Ski.

I was so afraid of dropping my phone in the ocean in this picture but it was necessary to capture!

Joshua loved every single palm tree he saw while we were in Florida.

My youngest brother had a destination wedding a month before me but they had a reception a few months later.

Brandon and I completed the stair climb that benefited Cystic Fibrosis.

We took Joshua took a pumpkin patch.

I have some Christmas photos of course that I can share as well. We have been filming alot of Youtube videos lately and you can check those out by searching “The Halcombs” on twitter, or by clicking this link.

In exactly one month from today I will be getting married. When I look back at the day we got engaged I am amazed at how quickly the time has gone bay. I couldn’t imagine being at this point. There is so much going on, so much planning, so much organizing and it is all so much fun and so stressful! I always knew that I was a bit of a control freak and now I can tell that it is absolutely horrible. My fiancé has been the biggest help and when I give him things to do, I have a hard time just letting him handle it. Except the cake, I don’t care what happens with the cake. I don’t really like cake that much and I trust that at the end of it all, he will order a cake that looks like a cake and people will eat it.

I can say that I am ready for September 5th to be here. I am ready to share that amazing day with all of the people in our lives that love and support us. I am ready to just celebrate the start of our marriage. I am also terrified. I know that marriage is a lot of hard work. I feel like admitting that you are scared is something that most people frown upon. I’m not worried that I am making a mistake. I’m absolutely terrified to get divorced. I don’t want it at all. My mom just got married for the 4th time this year. My aunt and grandmother both have been married at least 3 times. The women in my family struggle with marriage while the men seem to get married and stay married. I don’t blame the women for not being successful. They left those marriages for good reasons. Some of the marriages should not have happened and I knew that the minute I was told a wedding would happen.

I have never been married, my fiancé has never been married. We agree that divorce is not an option. Although, I have stated that if he ever cheated on me or became abusive in any manner that I would leave. I have just heard so many stories about people becoming complete strangers once they are married. It scares me. We do have God as the foundation of our marriage. We are still going through some intensive pre-marital counseling. The preparation is there and I think that we have everything we need to succeed.

I just wanted to come out and be honest about how I felt. I’m more excited than I have ever been to marry the greatest man that I have ever met. A man that loves my son as his own. A man that loves me and my family unconditionally. A man that wants the same things in life that I want. I know that we will get it wrong sometimes. I know we will still hurt each other. I also know that we will love each other no matter the obstacle. I’m ready for this covenant. I’m ready to unite with him for the rest of our lives. I’m ready.

It has been awhile since I have taken any full body pictures and posted them on the internet. I don’t know if it is because I am now 30 and feel that I should have a better physique than I do or what. I will post a picture like this one.

It shows mostly my face and I even crop out my forehead. Not that I really care that it is big, I just needed to make the picture fit. I’ve been no stranger to posting pictures of myself on the internet after a sweaty workout. I just haven’t done that in a very long time. I guess you could say that I am now self conscious about everything. I don’t feel like it has always been this way. I don’t even know what is making me feel this way. I want so badly to actually complete my fitness goals and stay on track but I sabotage myself. I allow my mind to make an excuse that will allow me to have this unhealthy food, or that unhealthy food. I just want to be at peace with myself and be happy about it. I have never really struggled with fitness all that much. My biggest problem is the cheesy goodness that I love to put in my mouth. Add that to the bread and tortillas and you have got yourself one unhealthy combination.

So, in light of being transparent and trying to be real with myself and the world. I have started a second Instagram account. One that I will only post fitness related photos to. I will still have my main account: cmarq01 if you want to follow that one. My new fitness IG is Christinafits. I chose this name because I want to fit whatever my goal is. I want to fit my own image of health and beauty. I want to stop looking at other people and then thinking that I am fat. Basically, I want to fit in with myself and not care if I fit in with everyone else. That sounds so simple but in fact, it will probably be the most difficult thing that I have ever done. If all goes well, I will hopefully start a YouTube channel after my wedding to document my journey. I need to see that I am doing something better. I can’t just look at pictures. Without further ado… here is a screenshot of my first photo for the new Instagram account. Completely stripped down and self-conscious. I’m working on changing my #selfconsciousselfie to #confidentselfie. Lets see how long it takes. Who’s with me?

This temperature outside is so hot that I when I open the door to walk outside, I’m not quite sure if I am experiencing early menopause or if the air outside is on fire. I feel like I am standing in the middle of a group of football players during a second overtime and I am breathing in their hot breath. Only I try to blow out of my mouth and not really breathe except I don’t want to die so I have to just inhale the heat.

Anyway, lately I have fallen in love with Starbucks and Chipotle. I don’t even like coffee. That is the craziest thing about the whole Starbucks situation. The frapp’s taste like a milk shake except they make you feel like you have tons of energy and when you buy one before you shop at Target you end up spending way more money because they sprinkle crack into their Frappucino’s. The Salted Carmel Mocha is the best thing that I have experienced in a long time. What is life anymore? I’m currently drinking and Iced Coffee with White Chocolate Mocha because it has less calories and doesn’t really taste like coffee.

After eating Chipotle I want it all the time. Then I eat chipotle and I’m like “eh, that was pretty good but definitely not Pizza”. Then I crave it all the time and I think about it when I’m not even hungry, but I want to eat it and enjoy all the cheese and sour cream. I always get everything in my bowl because the price is the same. Except the guacamole. I never get guacamole because $1.95 is just not part of my life. I usually get extra beans because of the protein but then I can’t finish the bowl anyway because there is so much food in it. Check out this video. Pretty sure I have shared it before but it is a hilarious parody video talking about Chipotle the entire time.

Today, I will probably have Chipotle for lunch. So yea, I’m pretty basic and I don’t have a problem with it. I’d like to thank every social media outlet for brain washing me into thinking I need these things. I’d like to thank Chipotle and Starbucks for sprinkling crack into their food so that I want it all the time and am only somewhat satisfied when I get it. You guys are the real MVP!

Yesterday after work I went to the gym and got all sweaty. I have been taking a pre-workout for the past couple of weeks to help me make myself actually go to the gym. For some reason, I can have absolutely no desire to go to the gym. Five minutes later, I take a pre-workout and BAM! I absolutely have to take my but to the gym because I took a pre-workout and what would I do with all that if I didn’t go and burn some energy? Sometimes I wonder if the pre-workout is really just Kool-Aid and the idea itself is enough to make you go to the gym. Kind of like when Bugs Bunny and Michael Jordan gave the other Looney tunes a drink for a bottle labeled “Michael’s Secret Stuff”, except it was only water…. Either way, I use it at most, three times per week because I don’t want to over do it. Plus I like to think that I have the will power to make myself go without being mentally tricked into it.

The challenge group that I host on Facebook requires photo evidence of the workouts. First, you post a sweaty selfie to prove that you did some work.

If you do any cardio machines then you post a picture after the workout. I did a 1 mile HIIT workout on the treadmill. I can finish a mile faster when I just run it straight through but I like the sweat that I produce when I do a HIIT workout. They are pretty intense and my body just loves it. Not really, I am dying at the end of each sprint interval but I know that I am pushing myself.

I did some weightlifting also and when I don’t know what the workout is called I try to take a picture of the machine if I don’t have someone to take a picture of me doing the motion. First I used free weights and did some lawn-mowers using a 30 pound weight. After that I used 15 pound free-weights to do two different style grips of bench press. I usually do three sets of each for about 10-15 reps.

Next I used the machine pictured below to do some seated pull-downs (is that what they are called?) using 60 lbs.

After that I did two versions of standing pull-downs using between 27-37 pounds for 3 sets of 10-12. The first version was with my arms extended and I would pull the bar down to my hips. The second version, I would start with my arms extended straight down and then raise up to a bit more than a 90 degree angle and pull back down. I’m not sure if that makes any sense; if not just ask and I can try to find the actual terms for the workout.

I also bought a guided journal that is all about fitness. I’m going to do it for a few weeks and let you know what I think about it. I am pretty sure it will be helpful as long as I do it. I have read that people who write during their journey are more successful at sticking to their fitness goals. Until next time, you better work it!

Talk about taking a break for awhile. I basically disappeared into the internet as if this little place never even existed. I admit that I got a bit too caught up in trying to produce content that people would want to read instead of just writing about what I wanted to say and not feeling the need to write if I had nothing to say. I started to force posts that were boring and not all that fun. I “met” some pretty great bloggers that stayed up with my blog and vice versa and I feel bad for just disappearing and not even reading other blogs anymore. So here I am. Back to just do what I wanted to do all along. Write. I have no plans to make any money from this blog. I just want to write about my life and talk to you guys again.

Now for a quick life update. My son is doing great, so close to turning 4 that he just can’t stop talking about it. I love this age. I love how excited he gets about things he loves to do. It has taught me so much about myself and given me the patience that I never knew existed. My wedding is fast approaching. September 5th is just around the corner and we are busy trying to get everything ready. I’m so excited! I’m ready. We bought a camera and have been making all kinds of videos lately. We love looking back at life and enjoying those moments all over again. It is amazing how much we all change in a short period of time.

I am also very active in my fitness goals. I’ve been hitting that gym like crazy and the Facebook challenge group that my friend and I started is in its 3rd challenge! We love doing it and giving away a prize at the end of each challenge. The group is always small; less than 20 people for the most part. If you want to join just let me know and you can be added as the newest challenge just started last week and goes for 12 weeks.

With that, I will leave a couple of photos. If you follow me on IG (cmarq01) than you have already seen these.

I have missed so many Friday posts that my phone was exploding with funny Instagram finds. I’m about to smash you in the face with some laughter. Sorry that there is so much Yeezy and Jay Z. Just happened that way.

I don’t know about you but when I am feeling sad and blue I turn to my salad for a good joke.

If you are single and looking for a new partner I have the answer for you below…

Flying bugs… I just can’t

Seriously though…

I do a pretty good job concealing the pain inside….

This just cracks me up!

You need to be able to just go there sometimes…

I have a new favorite TV show that I am obsessed with. However, I only watch it on YouTube because I am lazy that way. Here are my favorite battles so far.