As I come to the culmination of my sophomore year of high school, reflecting on how odd these last couple of months have been has become a favorite pastime of mine. This year has been simultaneously wonderful and peculiar. It’s been delightful in that many of my ideas and plans have finally materialized, I’ve launched projects and written blog post upon blog post for a plethora of sites. However, all of these accomplishments have encapsulated in an out of body feeling. I’ve recognized that I act with many introverted tendencies, and identify as an INFP (though I try not to read too much into this as I realize I’m still young), so I’ve always been reserved and idealistic. However, now I find myself to be much more outspoken, and always talking through once much appreciated silences. The pressure of leading things and being known as someone who does things, stresses me out. This isn’t inherently bad, and I don’t think people generally notice it. However, I feel like I’m always continuously trying to market myself off as a “closet extrovert”, and this makes me feel like I’m not living my own life. I think that it’s really important to stick to your temperament, and it’s essential to not change your personality, regardless of the circumstances that you’re in. All this thinking about temperament gave me the idea to compose at least a seemingly comprehensive list on how to stick to your temperament and be who you actually are.

1. understand who you are

Introvert, extrovert, MBTI type.. if none of these words sound familiar, you should definitely think about learning a bit about personality psychology, and this test might be handy. It’s really important to understand your personality because it can help uncover a lot about yourself, and you’ll probably gain a increased sense of self. For example, understanding that I was an introvert helped me get rid of a lot of guilt that was related to feeling tired after a couple of hours with a big group of friends.

2. examine the environment

Learn to notice certain environments or circumstances that make you nervous or where you act differently than you usually would. Recognize triggers that set you off, is there a certain person that makes you react oddly, a certain stigma at play? Understand what’s setting you off, and how and why you react the way that you do.

3. reflect & take action

Start thinking of what your temperament means to you. What are you losing by acting differently than you usually would? Are you gaining something? Do you feel uncomfortable or out of place? It’s essential to think of how this has altered your life, and what you need to do fix it. The next step is to make efforts to go back to yourself. When you feel pressured to contribute to something that might actually not be that important, take a step back and really think.

I hope that these tips have been of value to you! I know that thinking and reflecting on all this has definitely changed how I conduct myself and just generally how I go through life.

My absolute favorite blog post this week was “(Un)defining Myself” by Amy V. Norris. It’s beautifully written, yes, but it’s also much more than that. Amy’s post resonated with me in ways that I didn’t understand while I was reading it, but as I closed the bloglovin’ app and carried on with my seemingly monotonous day, it spoke volumes. As a young kid, I’d been painstakingly quiet. I still cringe whenever I hear the word “meek”, it brings forward days of ducked heads and submissive compliances. I want to say that I’m different now, but I can’t be sure. I find myself hesitating when people ask me to describe myself, there are too many personas (that people have crafted for me) to pick from.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, don’t confine yourself. Don’t ever attempt to put yourself in a box, don’t tell yourself, I am this so I cannot be this. You can’t be everything, but you can be as effervescent as the rising sun (code for: just be who you want!). Don’t be who your parents want, be who you want to be. If there’s one thing that I hear continuously from people, it’s to not do what people expect you to do (if you think about it, it’s the equivalent of digging yourself down). I’m still trying to understand it too, I still catch myself jumping at other people’s expectations of me. My internal monologue consists of a lot of “because you have to-s”. Maybe that’s the thing, I don’t ever want to do things because I have to, I want to find meaning in things. I’m constantly afraid of a white noise tape recording, of monotony, of meaningless silence. I have a story burning inside me, with the intensity of thousands of suns, but every time I put pen to paper, I doubt myself. I question, “who am I writing as?”. As if it’s never occurred to me that I’m writing as myself, for myself. Like I’ve never thought that I was struggling through math classes for myself, not my parents, not for colleges. It’s okay to be covetous, to be ambitious. This is for you.

It’s the beginning of the new semester, and I couldn’t be happier. I usually dread the second semester because it’s filled with a lack of motivation and longing for summer break. However, I think that this year is going to be different, I can already see the improvement in my work ethic and that sort of stuff. These last couple of weeks have been pretty alright, and I’m excited to share my happenings with you all!

fashion

I’ve come with a new technique to avoid tons of unmotivated hours. Go to you favorite online shop (mine is Anthropologie), put whatever you want in the cart (I usually total $1,500 LOL), and then go to check out and laugh (and think to yourself how one day, you’d like to afford all that), and then get to work!

So, I’ve come up with a lot of clothing and accessory items that I like (but definitely can’t afford), so I’ll just share them with you guys!

I adore these ‘joggers’ (harem pants?), they look comfortable and they’re so sparkly (they’re like revamped sweats!). I could totally see myself wearing these with just a flannel or even something like a black top. These definitely top my wish list, because I’m pretty lazy (especially when just dressing for school), and they would probably be a great addition to my already kinda extensive harem pants collection.

This dress is sold out, but it’s very up-my-alley. I wear a lot of neutral colors (especially black), and I certainly have a thing for metallics. I don’t know, it just has a very familiar charm and it’s very dressy, yet modest (esp. with tights). It would be perfect for an interview or any other professional pursuits. You also wouldn’t really need to accessorize because it’s already plenty sparkly!

These heels look really classy, something about this color makes me want to see these shoes on an artsy little stony road (that would make for painful walking though!). The straps look pretty secure, and the walking probably isn’t that bad. I feel like you could wear these for really anything, and the color seems to flatter pretty much all skin tones.

music

I’ve been loving MADE IN HEIGHTS recently, they’re really interesting and it’s definitely hard to place them in a box (I’d say like pop-gothic-whimsy?), and my favorite from them is All the Places. Listen to them on Spotify, they’re great, I promise.

life

This image is from Danielle Laporte’s truthbomb subscription (you can get them delivered to your inbox daily here). I’ve been dealing with a lot of self-disappointment recently, last semester I didn’t reach my personal goals. I’m pretty self-critical, and I can be really harsh on myself (even when I gave it my all). This little quote kind of resonated with me when I read it, and it’s definitely stuck with me, these last couple of weeks. I always surround myself with positive bits here and there, and email subscriptions are really good for this. Some of my favorites are Prep Talk (delivered weekly) and newsletters from Smart Girls Group (pretty customizable).

That’s pretty much all of what I’ve been loving these past couple of weeks. I hope you enjoyed this! Have a great week!

I’m not one for clichés, but… actually, scratch that, I kind of am (but the only the good ones, I swear). Anyways, this is going a shorter post, because I’m currently studying my way through exams. They’re awful, as usual, but I’m trying not to be too negative. I’ve been immersing myself in a lot of positive thought lately, (or clichés, call them what you want), and they’ve helped me out a lot. I hope this post helps you out too (or just puts a smile on your face)!

1. love yourself, no matter what.

I think that it’s really important to always be your #1, because at the end of the day, sometimes you’ve only got yourself. So why not have good company? Be sure to work hard and challenge yourself, but also keep a steady gauge on your both your physical and mental health. Academics and careers are really important, but your health and happiness are worth so much more (they’re irreplaceable).

2. work hard. (waiting never got anyone anywhere.)

Work hard. Get to the grind. Hustle. Call it what you want, but hard work is really your best bet. Hard work beats talent, period. Talent exists, and not everyone has it, but let me tell you, talent isn’t going to get you far. Talent makes you lazy, and all those famous people, oh yeah, they’re talented, but they also work hard as hell. This isn’t me telling you to go insane, never sleep, and work 18 hour days. Please don’t do that (refer to the above paragraph), it’s destructive. I am, however, telling you to put your best work out there and believe that you’ll make it (because I believe in you, so you should too).

3. kill them with kindness (just be nice okay).

It’s so important to be nice to other people. I’m telling you this, because I’ve definitely learned from experience. I always hate to admit this, but I can be extremely rude (especially if I’m stressed & sleep deprived). Sometimes I can’t help it, the sassy remark seems to have flown out of my mouth before my filter could have caught it, or something like that. You need to put yourself in a situation where you’re going to be nice, and this is hard, but it’s essential. Everyone is going through a different variant of what your dealing with, stop being so self-centered. I’m also really ambitious (sometimes to a fault), and it’s really important to understand that belittling people isn’t going to get you anywhere. My interpretation of this cliché isn’t really true to it’s meaning, but I think this is a better version, and this is an ideology that I enforce in my life everyday.

I hope that this post made you at least a little bit more happier or ambitious! Good luck with whatever it is that your tackling right now (whether it be exams or not)!

xoxo,

(all images are reblogged from my tumblr (which have the sources), these images are not mine!)

This week has simply been riddled with opportunities, I’m now working on the blog team at Her Culture and as a Women’s Issues reporter for She Speaks Media (both amazing publications that you should definitely take a look at!). This blog has also taken off, I’ve switched my host to WordPress, and just honestly invested more time into it. Let’s just say that I’m very very very excited about the rest of 2015.

I’d like to share a new 8tracks playlist every week, so this one is called young hearts (and dreary eyes). It’s in preparation for exams coming up, when caffeine just won’t cut in anymore, and you need something else to help yourself get hyped to destroy those exams.

New Year’s Eve was great, I spent time with an old friend, take a look at this cute #tbt! (also check out my very festive nails!)

Winter break as a whole was a good time, and a much needed break (still kind of bitter over the fact that there’s school tomorrow.) I spent time with friends & family, read good books, and was pretty productive (not in an academic sense, but whatever).

Also, I’ve fallen in love with this cover of Bombay Bicycle Club’s How Can You Swallow So Much Sleep. It’s so quaint and resonant, and I like it a lot better than the original. This cover reminds me of quiet winter mornings, and it’s quite soothing.

I’m definitely not ready to go to school, take exams or really any of that, but I don’t really have a choice.

I’m not really one for New Year’s resolutions, but I do set a lot of goals for myself. I’d like to set goals for this blog (which I’ll definitely share here), but I’m also setting personal goals (sharing them here to keep myself accountable). 2014 was a good year, but it could have been a lot better (academically, personally, and even professionally (in terms of opportunities)). First, I’d like to talk about things that went well & things that I’ll always remember 2014 for.

2014 (the good & the great)

good; adjusted to high school, survived my freshman year

good; tried new things, ran in track & field (which I’m doing again this year!)

good; established a presence online (launched this blog & familiarized myself with the opportunities available.)

Unfortunately, Thanksgiving break has ended, and school has started up again, and things are as normal as they usually are. My break was pleasant, my cousin visited from college and we did fun things (black friday shopping and saw Mockingjay pt. 1), but teachers were merciless and there was plenty to do. That being said, I ended up doing nearly all of it the last Sunday, which was not enjoyable at all (10/10 would not reccommend- but I’ll probably do it again sometime).

I had my first Red Cup of the season (I believe it was a Peppermint Mocha), and that was fun and iconic and all. I enjoy Starbucks, but I’d prefer a independently owned coffeeshop, of which there are absolutely none in my mid-western suburb. I’ve forced myself into developing a taste for drip coffee because nicer coffee can get rather expensive!

I’ve been listening to George Ezra for the better part of this week, I think I first heard him on an 8tracks playlist by Amy Norris, whose blog I absolutely adore, she’s fabulous. His sound is very indie folk and resonant. I heard him being described as an English ‘Ezra Koenig’ and that seems pretty accurate to me. My favorite from him is ‘Budapest’ (which seems to be pretty popular). If you’re studying, it pairs really well with rainymood or coffitivity.

Another thing I’ve been into lately is Saint Laurent’s Fall/Winter Ready-to-Wear 2014 Collection. I know that nobody’s talking about it anymore, but I only just had a chance to take a good look at it, and I kind of adore it. My favorite style is probably the one below, look 6, because I love a good two piece skirt/shirt ensemble, let’s be real. I’m loving the pinstripes, and I kind of want a subtle pinstriped blazer? I also really like the academia touch, with the collared shirt and bow. I didn’t think I’d like the sparkly shoe, but I am really obsessed with the style now, and I’m looking for cheaper alternatives everywhere!

It’s December, and I find that really strange, because this year has been an absolute blur. However, I do enjoy these colder months and I have a pretty strong love for the holiday season, so I’m not going to be too dreary and reminiscent. Over the weekend, my family and I put our outside lights up, so I decided to put my iPhone photography skills to the test. I’m actually pretty pleased (and slightly addicted to the bokeh effect).

The next couple of weeks will be difficult, because of the abundance of last minute testing (before preparation for midterm exams), impatience for the holidays, and a lack of motivation. I’ll get through it though, because that’s the only way out. ❤