In an *sl*mic State, it’s a good idea to obey the law

By David Craig, on February 7th, 2015

Just in case you missed it, the wonderful *sl*mic State has shown its progressive attitudes and civilised beliefs by publishing a list of the main crimes people might be tempted to commit and the punishments criminals should expect

For those people who don’t read Arabic, here ere are just a few of my favourites:

1) Blasphemy against *ll*h – death

2) Blasphemy against the Prophet M*h*med – death, even if the accuser repents

3) Blasphemy against *sl*m – death

4) Adultery – stoning until death if the adulterer is married and 100 lashes and exile if he or she is unmarried

5) Sodomy – death for the person committing the act, as well as for the one receiving it.

6) Spying for the unbelievers – death

7) Apostasy – death

8) Banditry with murder and stealing – crucifixion and death

9) Banditry with murder only – death

10) Theft – amputation of the hand

11) Drinking alcohol – 80 lashes

12) Slandering – 80 lashes

13) Stealing as part of banditry – amputation of right hand and left leg

14) Terrorising people – exile

But that’s not all:

– ISIS militants killed three of at least 15 pigeon breeders in Iraq after deciding it is against the *sl*mic religion to keep birds. So watch out all you pigeon fanciers!

– The extremists also executed 13 teenage boys for watching the Asian Cup football match between Iraq and Jordan last week. Football fans take note. If ISIS manage to establish their caliphate across Europe, I doubt many people will be buying subscriptions to Uncle Rupert Murdoch’s Sky Sports.

This may all look somewhat medieval. But of course it can’t be as *sl*m is a progressive, tolerant religion and, as Dave Cameron keeps insisting, “*sl*m’s values are British values”.

Still, look on the bright side – I expect the crime rate in the *sl*mic State is considerably lower than in the infidel UK. So we can definitely look forward to a major fall in criminality once we allow the M*sl*ms to take over our once great country.

2 comments to In an *sl*mic State, it’s a good idea to obey the law

Unless I’ve missed a major news item, none of the UK’s Imams, those religious leaders of the RoP so beloved of Dodgy Dave, have openly and loudly condemned the indescribably brutal burning of the captured Jordanian pilot. One therefore concludes that even though they may not actually be applauding the appalling act, they do not entirely disapprove either.
The 12 years in a cushy UK prison, with the option to increase to 17 years for bad behaviour, but with the chance of reduction to a mere 8 if he pretends to repent, handed down yesterday to the “British” Jihadist, is nothing more than a very bad joke. Personally, I’d execute him for treachery, but failing that a sentence to spend the rest of his life on hard labour, with minimal subsistence rations, plus the occasional flogging for falling out of line, would do nicely.