Related Stories

LONDON, Ont. -- A city woman planning to marry Paul Bernardo seems an unusual case of someone seeking both fame and comfort, says the author of a book on women who choose killer husbands.

The woman is likely both a victim and willing participant in the shocking relationship, added Sheila Isenberg, author of Women Who Love Men Who Kill.

"Whatever she sees in him or finds in him is answering her deepest psychological needs. I do feel for her."

Isenberg may be in a minority, as Canadians from coast to coast reacted with shock and horror Thursday to news of the wedding plans revealed by QMI Agency.

An independent source confirmed the 30-year-old woman, whom QMI Agency has decided not to identify at this time, took steps to advance a plan to wed Bernardo.

The bright and university-educated woman admitted to QMI Agency she's been writing letters to Bernardo, and told friends she was going to marry a man named Paul who'd served time "for the most horrible crimes you could imagine," while sporting a tattoo that reads "Paul's girl."

Since being told by QMI Agency of the wedding plans about three weeks ago, the woman’s family has been trying to convince her she's making a mistake.

Family members and the woman declined comment Thursday, but the rest of the country had plenty to say.

Isenberg said the woman is hardly to blame and not the first to want to marry a manipulative killer.

"They're cons but they're also con-men," she said of killers behind bars. "They have a lot of time on their hands, so they learn to be good manipulators."

But, she added, "it's possible that he manipulated her but it's also possible she was very susceptible to being manipulated. I think she convinced herself Bernardo didn't do it."

She divided the women into two general categories, including those who want the fame.

"Their (killers') faces are all over the newspapers. They're on TV. They're on the news. They are so well known that any woman that gets involved with them also becomes well known."

On the surface, the London woman fits the bill, Isenberg said.

"The first reaction was ... I thought it was the usual woman wanting her 15 minutes of fame."

But the fact the woman doesn't want to see her name in print, and avoided talking to QMI Agency for several days, suggests she doesn't quite fit into that category, Isenberg said.

The second category consists of women who've been in past abusive relationships looking for a love that makes them feel safe and special. It's not important to them if the killers are notorious.

"When they get involved with a guy behind bars for life, they see it is a chance, and this all subconscious,to be in control. He cannot hurt them. He is prison," Isenberg said.

Interviews with family and friends reveal the London woman has endured abusive relationships with boyfriends.