Is She Actually As Good As You Think She Is?

99% of the questions I receive related to women and dating have something to do with a man being hyper-fixated on a particular woman to the point where it becomes an obsession. It’s the same thing every time… He says things like, “She’s so amazing”, “I can’t live without her”, “I won’t find another girls like her ever again”, etc…

In his eyes she is a holy goddess who can do no wrong. In my experience that is almost never the case. In fact, most men are completely blinded by their emotions and ego in the infatuation stages of relationships that they are completely unable to objectively assess a woman based on who she is as a person using a criteria beyond her looks. In my humble opinion, this is why the vast majority of relationships fail – emotional blinders cause render both parties unable to accurately assess who the other person is. So is it any wonder why 5-12 months into a relationship most people are looking for an exit? Not really…

I’m not saying there aren’t amazing women out there. And hell, perhaps the girl you are worrying about right now is a great girl who is a perfect fit for you as a person. All I am saying is that in MOST cases, men who get hung-up and fixated on a particular girl do so for two reasons…

1) A lack of options

They have not improved themselves to the point where they literally have their selection in any type of woman they want and they enter into a relationship because finally a girl who possesses a certain level of beauty has come their way. They look to lock her down immediately. They are tired of the “single life” and chasing girls and there lies the problem. The single life is not about “chasing” anything. Life is about pursuing daily self-improvement and as a result of your continual efforts you will get your selection in women.

2) A fear of loss

Rather than wanting the girl so badly based on her merits they want to acquire her so that she simply won’t be with anyone else. The thought of her hooking up or having sex with or being affectionate with another guy is so brutally unbearable to them that they convince themselves that she is a goddess who needs to be wifed-up immediately.

These two ingredients are a recipe for disaster. The really dangerous territory is when she is ALMOST a good fit for you personality wise. This is when most guys will settle just because it’s “close enough”. You have to be strict on the women you keep in your life and judge them based on a set of objective criteria beyond her physical appearance.

The next time you find yourself entering the infatuation stage or feeling super “into” a particular girl ask yourself a few questions…

“Has this girl said anything during our conversations that has amazed or impressed me?”

“Does she do anything purposeful with her life or does she just go through the motions?”

“What kind of philosophy does she live her life by?”

“What values does she have?”

“What are her priorities in life?”

Obviously you can’t just ask her these questions straight up. People have a tendency to lie in order to inflate their self-image so others will perceive them in a positive light. You should only ever judge people (men and women alike) based on their actions. Words are a smoke screen, actions reveal the raw truth of the type of person you are dealing with.