Friday, May 2, 2008

God Loves Me And Has A Sense Of Humor

You: "I said I would plug it in because I needed to oversee the process. It's dangerous to plug things in to an outlet..."

Me: "....."

You said this the other day. I talked about it right here not two days ago. So you'll have to excuse my extreme delight when last night you went to plug in the television and showed me, by your actions, indeed how dangerous it is to plug something in.

See, when I plugged in the extension cord to the same outlet, I did so without any problems. (If you don't count the fucking problem I had with you, that is.) All went well, without a hitch, a-ok, we're roger for take off.

Last night you went to plug the television in to the same outlet. Did circuits get blown? Did the house burn down? Did the entire block blow up? No. So what made it so dangerous?

Could it be that, in your brilliance, when you went to plug in the television, (you were 'overseeing' the entire operation of this one, I was nowhere near it), you managed to fuck it up?

I was in the kitchen. You were crawling behind the television to plug it in. Next thing I hear is:

SLAM! CRASH! TINKLE! BANG! SHATTER! CRUNCH!

You dropped two DVD players, a VCR and a DVR box as well as some irreplaceable china on to the floor behind the television set.

You were right. It IS dangerous after all! But, maybe, in the future, I should be the one to oversee the plugging in process since you cannot be trusted and you are extremely unsafe while performing this highlydangerous task.

And yes, you did look stupid after the hour long lecture you gave me about it two days ago. The best part? You did it all to yourself.