Nick Carter

Time for another addition to our "The Most Embarrassing" feature. Basically I
find the most embarrassing picture of a celebrity and post it for
our amusement. That's Nick Carter, above.. The worst part about this picture is that he actually thinks that's a sexy pose. He couldn't seduce Paris Hilton looking like that, and she once fucked a tractor. An actual tractor.

As mentioned last week, author Mark Ebner's Hollywood tell-all Six Degrees of Paris Hilton hits store shelves next week. The juiciest parts of the book come from Ebner's interview with Darnell Riley, a man who bought 14 hours of Paris Hilton home videos from Russian thieves. Excerpt time!

Paris and Nick Carter at the Las Ventanas resort in Cabo San Lucas: "The video opens with Nick holding the camera as Paris opens her luggage. She pulls out a huge ziplock bag full of weed. She flew drugs into Mexico. Unbelievable. Nick comments on how this tape muster never get out, and Paris says, 'Yeah, the Paris Hilton Tape, Part Two.' She breaks the weed down, and rolls a fat joint. They smoke for about ten minutes, go out to the pool, talk a little shit. They have lunch poolside, go back to their room and Paris shows a tattoo on her ass of Nick's name, and he shows one of hers on his wrist." (They also spot Kelsey Grammer having lunch with Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson, as well as Dennis Rodman poolside, and Paris makes a joke about his endowment, possibly from experience.)

And finally: Paris and Brandon Davis are approached by two effeminate black men at an MTV party who invite them to an event for singer/actress Eve's new clothing line. Davis initially asks if there will be any women at the party, before they exchange phone numbers. Then, according to Darnell, "On the way to the the Jeep, Brandon says, 'Stupid fucks,' talking about the black guys, and Paris says 'Dirty niggers,' and they start laughing and jump into the Jeep. You could tell that Paris had tried to erase the tape, because that part had a blur in it, but the words were clear."

Drugs, nudity, stereotyping . . . what more could you ask for from a Paris Hilton video. "Self-immolation" you say? Well played sir, well played. But I'll call that suggestion with a "swimming in shark-infested waters during her time of the month" and raise you a "juggling with chainsaws in the tiger's exhibit at the S.F. Zoo." Now, before you come back over the top and go "all in," just remember we're talking about Paris here . . . so wear a few condoms.