Socks

Other then having a fairly good grasp of the 4.yourlifewillneverbethesame Priest changes, I am “unprepared” for Catalcysm. And I don’t care.

I’m not soapboxing and touting my superiority that I am not a drooling keyboard smashing fanboy/fanchic like you most likely are at the moment, as you furiously hack and slash your way to 85, and go “riding dirty” around the old ‘hood of Azeroth.

Because honestly, I wish I could be getting my face smashed in and my ego crushed in the new dungeons right now. Blah. One day I’ll have a life again, and then I can waste it on playing video games again. (I’m shooting for Friday.)

I’m sitting there today at work and trying to decide what alt I want to work on. I’ve decided my main is of course my Healy Priest (Disco/Shadow atm) and I’m going to roll a Goblin Prot Warrior to get back into tanking, but I can’t decide which on of my level 80 alts I’d like to bring into my new guild.

My first choices are my Orc Huntard (Beastmaster/Marksman) or my Orc Death Knight (Unholy/Blood). My frosted side says I should level the DK because we are at the “early sex” stage in our relationship. Under the covers it’s all exciting and new. I’m seeing her runes for the first time and she can Death Coil like a machine. (I like it when she keeps her socks on BTW, and it’s even better if she’s wearing tennis shoes. But only tennis shoes, no other shoes work.)

Yet I kind of miss my old girl, the Huntard. We’ve got a wealth of experience and knowledge with each other. I know what to do in every situation. I know to Aspect of the Cheetah and speed up when I need to or I can Frost Trap and slow it all down if the situation calls for it. She’s not as new and exciting but man we work good together. I even let her take her socks off. (Psst. I don’t like bare feet. They make me physically ill.)

My Death Knight can dps or tank if I ever need them too, but I feel like my Hunter has so much for raid utility, especially in this supposedly Neo-CC (Ghostcrawler’s Brand New Deal?) era we’re entering.

Any sane person would just play whichever class they have the most fun playing, but that’s just it…I have fun being USEFUL. Tanking, healing, DPSing, I like it all because I try to be good at it and provide something beneficial to the raid.

“Yeah, you know Katie Mae is a good girl, folks, and she don’t run around at night” -Lightnin’ Hopkins

And since I was thinking about alts, I started wondering why I can’t have an alt wife. I love my wife. She knows this (most days). She’s the only person I’ve ever wanted to have little screwed up children with. She’s the only person I could take care of when their old (sorry mom, lemme show you something behind the shed…).

But man, we get tired of each other sometimes. I mean why can’t I have a lower level alt wife around like lvl 20 or something. She’d be unguilded so I wouldn’t have to worry about her having any children or other annoying life wrecking hang ups. Because of her lower level she wouldn’t have as many abilities as my main wife but what skills she did have would be new and fresh to me. My alt wife would also ding and level, which is something my main level 80 wife stopped doing a long time ago.

I could be the more experienced, higher level raider who could boost my alt wife through lowbie dungeons. I know she’s just attracted to my epic gear and my gold slush fund, but it would be a mutual situation of two people using each other. I know one day I’d sit her down over coffee and tell her it was time for her to enter LFG and strike out on her own. That she was too good for me and needed to experience content on her own.

So why can’t I have an alt wife? If my main wife got tired of her she could always just show up and one shot her.

Hmmm.

Oh btw. I don’t care if my wife had her own alt husband. Srs. Just stay off my side of the bed and don’t ever touch my cigars, booze, and stay out of my spare guild bank. You can touch my wife but not my enchanting mats.

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7 Responses

darling! as always, your posts provide an awesome diversion to RL. yobo just picked up cata for me today but won’t be able to start the install until late tonight. RL school and such has interefered a lot and the recent changes (patches) and such has put a bad taste in my mouth (that’s what she said!). i’m hoping to have a little time this weekend but honestly, i don’t know if i’m still in it. i would ilke to get santo to 85 but…

Yobo: Tell that SOB I said hello. I still laugh out loud when I think about us raiding Naxx and were wiping on Instructor Rasuvious over and over and he brings up Blumpkins and vent explodes. I swear my side hurt for days after laughing so hard.

IIRC that’s the night Irmie changed the application requirement age to 18.

Paladin: Yeah I haven’t tried healing yet with the changes. I know for awhile they were tearing it up on the PTR at 85, but I don’t know how many nerfs ago that was. If I didn’t have a man crush on my priest I’d probably give healadin another go.