Dealing With Change.

Happy Friday, friends! I’ve definitely been on a slower posting schedule this week (sorrrrrry?!), but the truth is, I really do hope you have been far away from your computers. It’s so important to take a little break from time to time. I will be back tomorrow with my weekend reading list, and next week we will be back to regular posting at least once a day… I have lots of fun posts in store for you, and my Winter Wellness Challenge launches on Monday morning so you don’t want to miss that – I’m reallllly excited for it.

Today though, I wanted to chat a little bit about change. Man. You guys. I feel like such a child sometimes because at age 36, change is still so damn hard! I mentioned this in last Friday’s newsletter but I hadn’t talked about it here yet… there have been some major changes going on with my family. The biggest thing is that my parents sold our family business (a restaurant on Cape Cod – the house I grew up in is attached to it), so this was our last Christmas at the restaurant / in our childhood home. While ultimately, this is the most wonderful thing (they found a lovely younger couple to buy it, they can finally slow down and take a step back – i.e. no working next Christmas Eve, they can travel more and come visit my sister and I in New York on weekends), at the same time… it’s just so sad! I kept thinking… this is the last time I’m going to do this. This is the last time I’ll sleep in this bed. The last time we’ll sip eggnog by the fire together. The last time I’ll do my little running loop to the beach. The last time we’ll pull out of this driveway. Oh my god… it’s embarrassing to write… so melodramatic!!!

This break was spent packing up the old house and going through old treasures with my mom (there was lots of purging, mostly instigated by my sister who is so good at it!!) I came home with boxes and boxes of antiques (some cool old prints from World War II, family china, that sort of stuff). We visited their new house (a short term rental in our same neighborhood which will be nice as they’ll still be near the beach), and toasted the future. I know it’s all for the best, and mostly I am so incredibly happy… but it’s still very bittersweet. I get choked up just thinking about pulling out of the driveway and leaving the old house for the last time. Oof. I deal with change mostly by focusing on the happier side of it, but it’s still hard! I’d love to know how you guys cope with big changes in your own lives. Share your wisdom in the comments if you feel compelled! 😉

PS – I am absolutely living for J.Crew’s boyfriend shirts in Tall right now… the cut is so good (and you know I don’t always feel that way about their tops. I’m wearing this one, but I also bought this. Both are A++.

aww Grace. Change is really hard. Saying goodbye to something that is such a big part of you life and memories is really hard. You are not being melodramatic at all. Like you said, the best way to deal with it is to concentrate on all the positive aspects of the change: your parents will have more time to come and visit you, they will have the time to enjoy all those hard years of work. Another thing that I find helps, is coming up with new traditions… what will you do next Christmas? Start thinking and planning now. Hugs to you!

I had my first set of holidays not at my childhood home this year, and it was extremely hard. My mom moved to California earlier this year to be near me since my dad passed away two years ago, and not going home for Thanksgiving or Christmas affected me more than I realized. I tried to embrace it, but it was difficult not going there and having all the traditions. We still did them here, but it was different. Change is hard. I try to look on the positive side as well, but it has been a rough week. I’m hoping though, that making it through the first one, will make the future holidays here easier. I totally get what you’re going through!

I’ve made several big moves in the last few years – it is hard but so much better to be doing it voluntarily than being forced into it (which is probably why moving is easier for adults than for kids). Your parents are very smart to be doing it now. You’ll be able to make new memories with your parents in their new home or elsewhere (my parents are in their mid 80s and are taking the entire family on a cruise for New Years – we leave tomorrow! Old traditions are great but making new ones is fun too.).

Hi Grace! I’m so sorry to hear about the loss you’re experiencing. I handle it the same way, the physicality of change (all those lasts you wrote of!) is the hardest part, but it’s easy to overwrite those memories with new, exciting ones in good time. Graduating college was particularly hard for me, and I remember absolutely DREADING the last time I went shopping at the local grocery store. I actually cried when I left it for the last time, as it was part of my habit and routine. Even though that was many years ago, I look back on it with fondness and a little humor. As Winnie the Pooh said, “How lucky we are to have had something that makes saying goodbye so very hard”.

Love you, you made me cry. Change is so important, knowing when and how is hard. As I write this my stomach is in knots, some moments my heart is leaping free, other times it is a deep sadness at letting go and moving ahead. But looking to the New Year I feel positive and open to all the possibility. Can’t wait for new York week-end in the Spring!

Life IS change, but that doesn’t make it any easier as we journey through it. One positive way I try to think about it is the changes that feel most tender/raw for us are related to the things in life that meant the most. You cannot have joy and love without sorrow and grief. You feel the latter because of the former, so take heart in the fact that you feel sad because something brought so much joy, warmth, and happiness into your life. That’s a beautiful thing, and something no one can ever take from you, no matter the changes to come. <3

I’m exactly the same way. I don’t have any words of wisdom but will definitely be looking through the comments section for others advice. What I do know is eventually you get use to the change and move on.

I understand. Change is very difficult, but change is necessary. I’m a creature of habit and don’t like that much change. I felt the same way when we moved out of our family home and when I graduated from college. Those moments living in my family home and college are moments I will cherish forever. Here’s to 2018 and creating new moments!