Learning to live with chronic pain and illness gracefully

Psyching Myself Up (And Out)

Well, coming home early yesterday was a Smart Thing To Do. I mailed my package and picked up one or two things I need for a craft project (although it turns out not- argh. But I digress.) I then got some of that couch/storm/cat/blanket quality time I was pining for (but not hot chocolate- I dozed off for two hours instead). Woke up in time for hubby to get home and I made a yummy dinner.

Things went a bit downhill from there. I fixed a necklace but my next stage gift isn’t coming out the way I hoped (I have an idea for the mats I did buy, but I think I’ll be hitting a couple more craft stores this weekend nonetheless. Bah.) The cookies baked fine, but I put the new cookie sheets on the bottom rack and those cookies burnt slightly. I now know better. The icing did not come out quite like I hoped, and the food dye writers are tricky. In all, most are legible and half are edible, but dammit, I tried! (I also have green fingers.)

I was wound up pretty tight last night, though, and had trouble getting to sleep. I have been really frustrated lately, to the point of asking “Why even bother?” I want to do things and be involved, but it comes at such a high cost. Then again, if I didn’t at least try I’d hardly do anything. I feel like I can’t win some days. Mostly I am feeling overwhelmed, and I have no one to blame but myself and my own expectations for taking on so much. There’s a couple lessons in there but right now I’m too tired.

Thankfully, the weather looks good for the Relay today. Of course, I forgot my cane, the zipper on my backpack finally decided to let go, and I still need help getting the camp chairs from my trunk to our spot. It’s going to be a long day. I AM going to get myself some chai today, however. So, YEAH!