Birthday Wishes

As I am drunk right now, I’ll make this brief… thank you all for the outpouring of love with the birthday wishes… You all are very early, as my birthday isn’t until next week, so I’ll chalk it up to holding the day of my birth to such a high level that you must comment on it at such an early time! Buying me beer is a good gesture, but you should all know that since you have at the very least wished me a happy birthday, you shall be placed on the list of people I do not kill! When I rule the world (I will very shortly, I assure you) you shall be either placed on the “do not harm” list, or you shall be drafted into my war cabinet under the rank of Secretary of Kicking Ass… as I shall be known as the Secretary of Altered States!