We here at the Podunk Gazette-Times-Chronicle-Bugle recognize that Arnold Auerbach was a legend in sports. Dare I say the Paul W. Bryant of professional athletics. At least that was how I sold it to the folks manning the A desk last evening.

And we were able to do the 1A/1C deal without sacrificing the almighty 38 bylines from Podunk U's underwhelming gridiron victory. Stick THAT in your pipe and smoke it, slappy!