Tuesday, July 21, 2009

West Side Story

It's a miracle. I am finally back online after a week of withdrawal. The aforementioned cat incident from last week quickly deteriorated into a crashing keyboard. Thanks to LM Computers in Stellarton I now have a working keyboard. Dell covered the keyboard replacement under warranty and things seem to be working just fine.

A lot has happened in the last week, namely my homicidal impulse toward Raimi and his desperate and uncontrollable desire for Leeloo. It has been ... torture. For everyone. It seems that last Thursday evening it suddenly occurred to Raimi that Leeloo was the earth, the sun, the moon, the stars ... his whole universe. She was the very creature he'd been pining for his whole life. She was his Juliet - the forbidden love he couldn't live without.

I was nothing. I was invisible. I was the foil to his unrequited love.

I wanted to kill him.

This has continued the last 5 days and thankfully today we turned the corner and she no longer seems to be ovulating. He hasn't completely lost interest but the desperation has ebbed a little - it's faded into a sort of puppy love. Leeloo has also lost patience with his constant attention. She's told him to back off a few times and like any red blooded male he doesn't listen. We have settled into a kind of truce where he is allowed to be near her under supervision but he is not to harrass her. This seems to be an acceptable compromise for everyone. It sure beats the hell out of the constant whining, pacing, wrinkles and panting we've had to endure the past week.

There is light at the end of the tunnel. It's been an interesting ride and I for one, am not going through it again. When Leeloo next comes into heat Raimi and Archer will be sent to my parent's house where I can't hear them whine for the beautiful blonde who smells so good.