Mommy has a date

I mentioned a place I go to frequently to see Karoke… HE asked if I wanted to meet there Friday for dinner and to watch Karoke.. Said he knew I would be comfy there and feel safe.

Brownie points in my book.

I seem to be osculating between OMG I have a date to OMG WTF am I doing? WHY am I doing this? Am I FN NUTS?? Do I really WANT a relationship? Yeah, I know it’s just a date… but seriously, isn’t dating about looking for a partner?

So, as I sit here typing this, my mind is going a million miles a minute… Panic is setting in… almost to the point I don’t want to go..

Is this NORMAL? Am I normal?

He makes me laugh.. but he’s not my TYPE.. Don’t we all have a type? I do, and he doesn’t really fit that profile looks wise…… but he makes me laugh….

I already have that first date nightmare over with.. no where to go but up right?

But OMG what if that teacher date was the BEST I was going to have? I’m petrified of the fact I could be hitting lower on that guy scale….

Am I trying to talk myself out of this because I’m scared?

What do I wear??????

UGH

I have been so badly hurt in the past.. I don’t want to be hurt again. Can I wrap my heart up in bubble wrap and just put it in a box somewhere to protect it? I know I’m scared… I know why I’m scared… I know I’m running ahead of myself…. Do I really want to do this? Or am I better off being alone? But what’s the harm in going on a date? Fat me wouldn’t have an issue with this… Skinny me is more unsure of herself than I thought she could ever be….. Fat me had an excuse that her fat was what drove guys away.. skinny me knows she doesn’t have that excuse and any rejection is going to be because of ME….