Pages

Stupid Punts!

Stupid Punts!

Text

Examples of the "Nigerian scam" that flood my email box everyday.

Monday, July 31, 2006

I receive a large amount of crap from the spamming scumbag community, some of which makes an attempt to sound plausible. However, on occasions I receive something that is so badly written and so implausible that I wonder why the author ever wasted his time typing it out.

Here is one such example of utter crap. This author, who needs few lessons on how to write English, is under the delusion that I will believe him when he says that he found over $8M stored in some barrels in Iraq.

The only thing he says that has the ring of truth, is that he found the non existent money illegally.

Fall for this and you deserve to be conned.

Dear Sir, With a very desperate need for assistance, I have summed up courage to contact you. I am from (will disclose this later), presently working in Iraq with an international organisation that I will also disclose later, I found your contact particulars in an address journal. I am seeking your assistance to evacuate the sum of (US$8.523 Million Dollars) Eight Million five Hundred Thousand And Twenty Three Dollars to your country or any other safe country of your choice, as far as I can be assured that my share will be safe in your care untill I complete my service here,this is no stolen money, and there are no dangers involved. SOURCE OF MONEY: Some money in various currencies was discovered concealed in barrels with piles of weapons and ammunitions at a location near one of Saddam,s old palaces during a rescue operation, and it was agreed by all party present that the money be shared amongst us, this was quite an illegal thing to do, but I tell you what? no compensation can make up for the risks we have taken with our lives in this hell hole. The above figure was given to me as my share, and to conceal this kind of money became a problem for me, so with the help of a German contact working here, and his office enjoys some immunity, I was able to get the package out to a safe cation entirely out of trouble spot. He does not know the real contents of the package, and believes that it belongs to an Asian/American who died in an air raid, and before giving up, trusted me to hand over the package to his business associate. I have now found a secured way of getting the package out to a safer country for you to pick up, and will discuss this with you when I am sure that you are willing to assist me. One passionate appeal I will make to you is not to discuss this matter with a third party, should you have reasons to reject this offer, please destroy this mail as any leakage of this information will be too bad for us. I do not know for how long we will rem ain here, and I have survived 2 suicide bomb attacks by the special grace of God, this and other reasons I will mention later has prompted me to reach out for help, I honestly want this matter to be resolved immediately. Please contact me as soon as possible. Regards, Robert Taylor

Staatsloterij International has just concluded its final draws of it'speriodical promotional program.An exclusive list of email addresses of thousandsof individual and corporate bodies were picked by automated random computersearch from the internet with serial number 5772-54 drew the lucky numbers3-4-17-28-35-44and consequently won in the First Category.

No tickets were sold. Your email address emerged as one of seven winners in thesilver stakes category"A" as email addresses were soughted, from a total numberof 1,000,000 addresses drawn from all over the globe. After an automatedcomputer ballot of our International Promotions Program, only Seven winnersemerged in this category and therefore each are to receive payouts of$1,000,000.00 usd from the total of $7,000,000.00 usd ( Seven million unitedstates Dollar )

However, every email address selected was accompanied by a reference and ticketnumber,after the cyber lotto selection, the below ticket and reference numbersemerged as one of the lucky winners in the above category.CONGRATULATIONS!!!

For your prize claim processing, we have employed the service of anlnternational Trust firm. They are to handle the transfer of your cash prize of1,000,000.00 Dollar in line with our procedures and upon your directions.Yourprize has been insured to its full value with your email address and will betransferred to you under their professional service. To immediately initiate the processing of your prize claim, please contact theunder-mentioned at our claims department;

Mr. F.Vincent Amsterdam-Netherlands.

Email: staatclaims03@netscape.net

Tel.: +31-644 945 401.

In your best interest(s), you must initiate contact within three weeks ofreceipt of this Correspondence. Attorney/Fiduciary Agents, are to handle allmatters with regards to legalization of your winning documents.You are alsoadvised to send a copy of this email, to the Director of operations at theclaims department, Mr.Frank Vincent,when contacting him.

You may be required to provide any of the above information during the processof collecting your prize. We congratulate you once again and it is our hope thatyou participate in any of our international programs in the nearest future.

=============================================================This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential and intendedsolely for the use of the individual or entity to whom they are addressed. Ifyou have received this email in error please notify the system manager.

To file in for the processing of your prizewinnings, you are advised to contact our Certifiedand Accredited claims agent for category "A" winnerswith the information below:*************************************Name: Bona HensenPhone: Tel : +31 6 447 797 23Email:bon_hense@yahoo.de*************************************You are advice to provide him with the followinginformation:

Names:Telephone/Fax number:Nationality:Age:

NOTE: All winnings must be claimed not later than 14days, thereafter unclaimed funds would be includedin the next stake. Remember to quote your referenceinformation in all correspondence.

You are to keep all lotto information confidential,especially your reference and ticket numbers.(This is important as a case of double claims willnot be entertained).Members of the affiliateagencies are automatically not allowed to participate in thisprogram.

Furthermore, should there be any change of addressdo inform our agent as soon as possible.Congratulations once more from our members of staffand thank you for being part of our promotionalprogram.

Monday, July 24, 2006

I have said it many times before, I do not get out of bed for a fake lottery for less than 1M Euros.

These scumbags will have to try harder than this!

ONLAELOTERIA INTERNACIONAL PROMOTION/PRIZE AWARD SPAINÂ

REFF: OZA/7367/45/19/97BATCH: 14/321/IPD/ESwww.onlae.com

We are pleased to inform you of the result of the ofthe onlae loteria Internacional programs held on the 6th ofJuly, 2006. Your e-mail address attached to ticketnumber 241918906-076 with game Number 54568 drew luckynumbers 16, 18, 52,33,44,90 which consequently won. Youhave therefore been approved for a lump sum pay out of150,000.00 Euro. (One Hundred and FiftyThousand) CONGRATULATIONS!!All participants were selected through a computerballot system drawn from over 100.000.00 Company and1.000.000.00 individual email addresses and names fromMiddle East, Asia, Africa, Canada, Europe North andSouth America, Oceania and around the world. To filefor your claim, please contact our fiduciary agent:

Due to mix up of some numbers and names, we ask thatyou keep your Winning information confidential untilyour claims have been processed. This is part of oursecurity protocol to avoid double claiming andunwarranted abuse of this program by some participant.Please, note that you will be required to pay for theissuance of your winning certificate. Be notifying alsothat all winnings must be claimed not later than 30thJuly, 2006. After this date all unclaimed winnings willbe null and void. In order to avoid unnecessary delaysand complications remember to quote your referencenumber and batch numbers in all correspondence.

Â Furthermore, should there be any change of address do inform our agents as soon as possible. Congratulations once more and thank you for being part of our promotionalprogram. Note: Anybody under the age of 18 is automatically disqualified.

We are please to announce you as one of the 9 lucky winners in the La Primitiva Lottery International Email Address draw on the 28th of June. Due to the mixture of names and address the result was released on the 18th July 2006. All 9 winning addresses were randomly selected from a batch of 30,000,000 international email addresses. Your email address emerged along side 6 others as a category 4 winner in the La Primitiva Lottery Draw. Consequently, you have therefore been approved for a total pay out of € 750.000.00 (SEVEN HUNDRED AND FITY EURO´S).The following particulars are attached to your lotto payment order:(I) Batch No: 24/090132/QIBMW. (ii) Ticket No: 12324277 (iii) Lucky No: 11 23 29 36 43 48 -C 8 R (iv) Ref No: VBP/30124785KL/0POR (V) Serial No: 1- 2 - 34-01-96-0KL

The La Primitiva Lottery Program internet draw is held once in a year and is so organized to encourage the use of the internet and computers worldwide. We are proud to say that over 200 Million Euros are won annually in more than 140 countries worldwide.To claim your winning prize you are to contact the appointed agent as soon as possible for the immediate release of your winnings and remember to give him your contact address and telephone number and fax number.DIRECTOR:DR. HUGO CARLOS,SWISS MOBILE SECURITY COMPANY.CALLE JUAN HURTADO DE MENDOZA,5,6D,28036MADRID ESPAÑA(Foreign Service Manager)Tel:+34 692 250 349elgordoagent@ozu.es

Permit me to inform you of my desire of going into business relationship with you, I got your mail through my carefull search for a trust worthy in the net, I prayed over it and selected your name among other (3) names I got, also due to it's esteeming nature and recomendations giiven to me as a reputable and trust worthy person I can do business with and by the recomendation I must not hesitate to confide in you for this simple and sincere business. I am angela morgan the only surviving doughter of late Mr and Mrs green morgan from Liberia who was killed by the former war Lord Mr Charles Taylor. My late father was accused of having hand in sponsorship of the troup that tried to overthrow the his government during his time as the president of Liberia He was arrested and beaten to a comma and was later thrown into prison where he was secretly murdered . My late mother was also mudered by the then government alongside my only sister leaving me, I survived this because I was in school outside my country Liberia.But during my one of my visits to the prison where he was incacerated before his death , he disclosed to me about the deposit of Twelve Million United States Dollars ($12M) he made with one of the banks in Cote D' Ivoire, he told me that his lawyer has all the documents covering all the transactions he made and the documents covering the deposit,he also told me that the deposit was made with my name as the next of kin and the beneficiarry to the fund, he told me that why he made the deposit in Cote D'Ivoire was that Cote D' Ivoire was the only peacefull country in Africa where he find safe to hide his hard earned money. He also advise me to leave Liberia for Cote D' Ivoire where they Government will not find me there I will locate the bank where he deposited the money and seek for a foriegn trust worthy partner Oversea who will assist me in transfering the money and Invest it properly in a very profitable business.I have now located the bank here in Cote D' Ivoire and confirm the existence of the money.Dear, I am honourably seeking your assistance in the following ways:

(1) To Help me transfer this money into your account for Investment purpose in your Country(2) To serve as a guardian of this fund (3) To make arrangement for me to come over to your country to further my education and to secure a resident permit in your country. Furthermore, you indicate your options towards assisting me as I believe that this transaction would be concluded within a couple of days you signify interest to assist me. Anticipating to hear from you soon. Thanks and God bless. Best regards,Angela morgan

Monday, July 17, 2006

Illiterate garbage, to be binned upon receipt!

From Fread CoulibalyAvenue 16 Rue 13Treichville Abidjan,Ivory coastPLEASE,Permit me to inform you of my mind, Because I have make up my mind towrite to you this way. however is not mandatory nor will I in any mannercompel you to honour against your will.Â I am Dave Coulibaly, 22 yearsold and the only son of my late parents Mr andMrs COULIBALY.Â My late father was a highly reputable business merchantin a cocoa who operated in the capital of Ivory Coast during his days.

Unfortunately I loosed him mysteriously,He died in France during oneof his business trips abroad last year octomber 2005. though his suddendeath was linked or rather suspected to have been masterminded by anuncle , who travelled with him at that time. But Godknows the truth.My mother died when I was just 4 years old, and since then my late fathertook me so special. Before his death on Octomber 9th/2005 he calledthe secretary whoaccompanied him in hospital and told him to call me,on my arrival tothe hospital my father told me that he deposited the sum of six millionUS Dollars.Â (6 000,000 USD) left in suspense account in one of theleading bank in Africa.He further told me that he deposited the money in his name,and I as thenext of kin and finally issued a written instruction to his lawyer whomhe said is in possession of all the necessary legal document to allhis properties.I am just 22 years old and a University undergraduate and really donâ€™tknow what to do. Now I want an account overseas where I can transferthis funds.This is because I have suffered a lot of set back as a result of familyenemity andÂ incessant political crisis here in Ivory coast.Please, I am in a sincere desire of your humble assistance in this regards.Your suggestions and ideas will be highly regarded.Now permit me to ask these few question:1.Can you honestly help me as your new family?2.Can I completely trust you?3.what percentage of the total amount in question will be good for you after the money is in your account?Please, Consider this and get back to me through my personal mailboxat: fredcoulibaly2006@yahoo.frUrgent call in my Hotel room 225 0560 6942Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Thank you so much.My sincere regards,Freadrich Coulibaly.

In view of the yearly promotion of the above named firm held on the 22nd of June, 2006.It is my pleasure to inform you that your e-mail address,as attached to the above PIN No:627462128TW, came up in the third dip.

You have therefore been picked as the lucky owner of the PIN No,with the designated amount of Eight hundred and fifty thousand, Nine Hundred & Fifty British PoundsSterlings {GBP£850,950.00}

This programme is financed by a group of corporate establishments and non governmental organisation, from major cities worldwide.Based on management regulations,you are to remit 10% of the winnings to a reputable non-governmental organization in your country,after receiving your fund.

To process your winnings,contact Immediately the designated consultant,using the following information as detailed below;

Mr Marion HurdsonTel/Fax: +44-700-597-8576marionhurdson@netscape.net

Do note that all overseas winnings are Insured as bonded,thus not subject to any form of alterations,in your favour,hence to safeguard your primary Interest and to avoid the funds being wrongfully diverted to a false person,other than yourself.

It is important to bring to your attention that the prize award expires after 21 working days of receiving this notice.

Accept my heart felt congratulations.

Yours sincerely

Shilla Williams(Mrs)

NB;Ensure that your PIN No is sent in your response to the above designated office.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

He wants to know my full contact details, if there is 15M waiting for me he would know those.

He claims to be based in the UK, yet his email address is Hong Kong.

In other words it is a pile of crap, to be disposed of immediately.

From:TOM GREENEManchester M27 5FX,United Kingdom.Fax:44 870 130 6123

This is to inform you that your funds of US$15 Million has been approved for immediate delivery to you.

For the purpose of clarification,you are advised to reconfirm your Full Names,Direct Telephone Numbers,Physical Address with Zip Code so that there will be no error during the delivery of the funds to you in your country of residence.

AWARD FINAL NOTIFICATION:We are pleased to inform you of release of the results for THE NEDERLANDS ONLINE LOTTERY INTERNATIONAL PROMOTION PROGRAM held on the 3rd of July 2006.You were entered as dependent clients with; Reference Serial Number: 652-66283 and Batch number AT-040SB06-03.

Your email address attached to the ticket number: 2752246896 that drew the lucky winning number, which consequently won the sweepstake in the first category, in four parts. You have been approved for a payment of EURO 500,000.00 (FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND EURO) in cash credited to file reference number: IPL/4249859609/WP1. This is from a total cash prize of Twelve million, Five Hundred Thousand Euro shared among the ten international winners in first categories. Congratulations! All participants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from 50,000 (Fifty thousand) names of email users around the world, as part of our international promotion program.

Due to mix up of some names and addresses, we ask that you keep this award personal, till your claims has been processed and your funds remitted to you.This is part of our security measures to avoid double claiming or unwarranted advantage of the situation by other participants or impersonators. You are to contact our accredited agent for your claim.

He is the agent responsible for the processing and transfer of your winnings. YOUR SECURITY FILE NUMBER IS W-346-H67/C4 (Personal infomation). Remember, your winning must be claimed not later than (2nd of August, 2006).You are required to forward the following details to help facilitate the processing of your claims and certificate which will facilitate the release of your winnings.

1. Full Names:……………………………………………………………

2. Residential Address:……………………………………….............

3. Phone Number:……………………………………………..............

4. Fax Number:………………………………………………...............

5. Occupation:………………………………………………….............

6. Sex:…………………………………………………………...............

7. Age:……………………………………………………………...........

8. Nationality:……………………………………………………..........

9. Present Country:……………………………………………............

A scanned identification of your self sent via email. You are advice to forward these information’s as soon as possible to enable us attend to your file. Once again, Congratulations.

We are pleased to inform you of the result of the staatsloterij.nl lottery programs held on 27th of June 2006 with your e-mail address attached to one of the winning ticket numbers. You have therefore been approved for a lump sum pay out of 1, 000,000.00 (One Million euros) CONGRATULATIONS!!!All participants wereÂ selected through a computer ballot system from our sponsors databases, including over 50,000 companies and 150,000 individual E-mail addresses and names submitted by our agents drawn from Asia, Africa, Europe, North And South America and around the world.

To begin your claim, do file for the release of your winning by contacting our accredited agent:

NOTE: All winnings must be notarized to complete the claim process; winners will be referred to a Foreign Transfer Manager, to have their winningsÂ notarized, all winners are to cover the legal charges not STAATSLOTERIJ. NL,Please note that you will be required to pay for the issuance of your winning certificate and all winnings must be claimed not later than 30th of JULY 2006,after this date all unclaimed winnings will be null and void. In Order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications remember to quote your reference number and batch numbers in allÂ correspondence. Furthermore, should there be any change of address doÂ inform our agents as soon as possible.

Congratulations once more and thank you for being part of our promotional program.note: Anybody underÂ the age of 18 is automatically disqualified.

Compliments of the season, Congratulations to you as we bring to your notice, the results of the Free Email ComputerBallot Jackpot 'Category A + (Plus) of ROYAL AMSTER INT. We are pleased to inform you of the result of the Lottery Winners Internationalprograms held today.

Your E-mail address attached to Ticket number 20511465463-7644 with Serial number 472-9768-98 drew the lucky numbers 8-66-97-22-65-99,which consequently won in the 1st category, you have therefore been approved for a lump sum payout of Eur.1,500,000.00 (One Million Five Hundred Euros).

This is from a total cash prize of Eur.9,000,000.00 Million shared amongst six International Lucky Winners in the Category A + (Plus).

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

This lottery is a promotional program by ROYAL AMSTER INT. (Biggest lottery Organization in Belgium/The Netherlands) to advertise to the world its existence.

All participants were selected through a computer ballot systemdrawn from over 50,000 companies and 2,000,000individual email addresses from all over the world, as part of our international promotions program, which we intend to conduct several times ayear.

Be informed that your documents have to pass our authority to obtain a clearance, which shall be attached to your document in readiness of the subsequent onward transfer into your nominated mode of payment within 48 hours of completion of the authentication.

Due to the possibility of unscrupulous individuals filing a double claim, we suggest that you keep this award strictly confidential until your claim has been processed and notarized and your certificate of award obtained.

This is in conformity with the lottery claim regulations by our Organization & the Netherlands Gaming Control Board.

This is part of our security protocol measures to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse ofthis program by someparticipants/non participants.

All winnings must be claimed not later than 15th july 2006. After this date all unclaimed funds will beincluded in the next stake. Anybody under the age of 18 is automatically disqualified.

NOTE: All winnings must be notarized and a certificate of award must be obtained from the Netherlands Gaming Control Board to complete to effect transfer of your winning prize. Winners are responsible for their legal/cost of transfer charges.

In order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications, provide the following whenreplying:

Delays will compel us to disperseyour funds, in other words, we shall divert your funds as stated above.

Kindly remember to quote your reference number number in all correspondence.

Finally, we call on you to make sure that you save a copy of this mail and note every letter clearly as stated for we will not be held responsible should there be any complications in this transaction due to laxity on your part.

Congratulations once more from our members of staff and thank you for being part of our promotional program.

Yours truly, Yvonne Van Oort. (Co-ordinator)

NOTICE: You have received this message from prize dept. at your winning e-mail address because you have emerged a winner.If you are not the intendedrecipient, you must not,directly or indirectly,use, disclose, distribute, print or copy any part of this message. If you believe you have received this message in error, please do not delete it and allcopies of it from your system and notify the sender immediately by reply e-mail.