jennifer488

I finished my newest chapter of my story "Diamonds In The Rough". Check out my story, and PLEASE comment on it. I want to improve of a writer so I would love any input you have. Here it is:

I could feel my heart begin to beat even faster in my chest and like I was never going to be able to breathe normally again. Being around abusive and negligent parents makes me nervous and that's a reality I have become accustomed to. However, I had never prepared myself for this inevitable moment – where I was going to trust another person with the truth of my life. It's not that I thought Andrea's mother was a bad person and would kick me out of her house once she heard the unmistakable truth…it's just hard to trust people when you can't predict their reaction.

Not only that, but Andrea threw me off guard as she stood there telling her mom about us. Yes we've talked about it before, but it's one thing to talk about it and another to actually go through with it. However this moment had to happen at some point.

The look on her mom's face was one of pure panic. It was the whole deer-in-the-headlights look. You know, the one where you have no idea what the hell is going to happen next but you know it just can't be good? Yep, that's the one.

She placed her purse on the table in the kitchen and took a seat at one of the chairs around it. "Something tells me I'm going to have to take a seat for this", she said.

Now it was Andrea's turn to look nervous as hell. "Well…yeah, it is pretty intense". Giving my hand a squeeze, she said, "Mom, Lacey and Annie have been struggling for years. As far as I know, this problem their having…it's been going on ever since they were born. And when I tell you about this Mom, I'm telling you with the hope that you will do everything you can to help them. Because really, they don't need another person to turn their back them…especially not now", she said after letting out a sigh.

"Well, I would like to know if you would just tell me! Rather than building up with this big drama. Can someone please tell me what's going on?!", she said, as you could hear the impatience in her voice.

"Here, I'd rather show you", she said as she dragged me over in front of her mother. She lifted up the sleeve of my sweater, and said, "Mom, do you see this very dark bruise on her forearm? This isn't because Lacey is so clumsy and can't keep from hurting herself. This isn't the truth, like their mom has been telling you for years. She's beating them at home Mom", she said as I could see tears beginning to form in her eyes. "She throws them around on the floor, threatens their life repeatedly, hits them, and continually abuses them. Now you need to see Annie", she said as she slowly brought her over to her mom. You could hardly hear her voice, it was barely above a whisper now. "Do you see that slightly blue tint underneath her right eye? There used to be a very dark bruise there…it's finally beginning to heal. Mom, this isn't something someone gets by playing outside like a normal kid. This was given to her by a force she couldn't control and something Lacey could not stop from happening. Hell, she's never been allowed to be a normal kid…and Lacey wasn't either! We need to do something…get their mom arrested or something. Not to mention their dad needs to be arrested or something since he just sits by and lets it happen."

Now it looks like Andrea was beginning to panic; and to be honest, so was I. "Mom…have you heard a single word I've just said to you? Will you help me or not?!"

I couldn't read her mother's expression at all. It was completely blank and the natural redness in her face seemed to have left it. She just kept blinking rapidly as if she had something in her eyes that she couldn't get out no matter how hard she tried. However, Maryanne's eyes were planting a piercing look upon me. She was looking at me with such intensity that I had to look away. I began to feel my heart beating so fast like it was about to burst out of my chest. Didn't she believe us?

She took her eyes away from mine for a second to look at Andrea, and said, "If this is true, you are certainly not meant to tell the story for them. Lacey, I want you to tell me what's been going on at home and then we can move on from there."

Did she really just say 'if this is true'? Really?! I doubt Andrea would have tears forming in her eyes if she was lying. Putting my anger aside, I said, "Well, the story is very long and painful so it's going to take a while to explain. Can Annie and I have a seat next to you?" After Maryanne nodded that it was okay to do so, I took Annie's hand and sat down across the table from her.

"Abuse has always been a problem in my family for as long as I can remember. And even past the age of five I'm sure it always happened since my mom has always been an alcoholic. My grandpa used to tell Annie and I that we were a miracle to him since my mom's drinking didn't end up killing us or severely injuring us", I said, realizing I had gotten off topic.

"But anyway, my mom has always attempted to hurt us. The only difference back then in elementary and middle school was that Annie and I had our grandpa around to help protect us. We could go stay at his house and he could intimidate her into being nice to us since she always feared him. But once he died…as you can obviously tell, she didn't have anyone to fear and no one to stand in her way. Horrible things just started to happen to us after my grandpa passed away…it was just a downward spiral. Soon after my grandpa passed away, my dad learned about my mom's first affair and was devastated by it. It rocked his whole world – and from there, he just checked out. He didn't want to give a damn about my mom and I'm sure we were just a painful reminder of her…of everything he had ever loved about her.

"From the age of 11 I have been responsible for the safety of my sister and I have been trying to find a way to escape ever since. When I was in middle school, I tried to get school counselors and teachers to help me out, but she's always found a way to manipulate her way out of trouble. Lying, one of the most disgusting personality traits of all, is where my mom's talent lie and she gets away with it all the time.

"I gave up on trusting adults after I realized that they were not going to take my side on the issue. I realized that I was my own best friend and best chance of getting the hell out of that house. I'm telling you…it is pure hell in my household and I just try not to come to school with a broken nose or an injury so severe that my sister can't depend on me to help her survive too. No offense to you ma'am, but I wouldn't be surprised if I ended up disappointed in another adult and left to fend for myself until I turn 18 and can fight for custody of my sister."

Then I heard Andrea say from behind me, "Lacey, how can you say that?"

I quickly turned in my chair to face her and I said, "What, am I supposed to sugarcoat it for you? This is the truth of my life about my life Andrea. I don't have the luxury to tell people what they wish they were able to hear, but rather the hard-ass, hard to comprehend truth of my messed up life. You want to know how I REALLY feel about my situation and having to sit here and talk about it? I'm so pissed off that I could scream but I'm afraid that I would never stop", I said as I started to hear my voice crack. "And most of all damnit…I know that I can never be truly happy in my life. Even when I move out of that damn house, I know that she would try to track me down and try to kill me. Why would it be so hard to imagine that she would when she's told me she wishes Annie and I had never been born? That her life would be miraculously easier and better if I had never existed? And that's the thing that pisses me off too…when people complain about their lives," I said with a slight chuckle. "People have no damn idea how nice they have it. Andrea, you have a mother who loves you. Do you know how badly I wish I had that?", as I could hear my voice begin to crack again.

And despite myself, I began to feel tears stream down my cheeks. But despite all that, I felt a smaller hand take mine in theirs and I looked up to see my sister looking at me with concern. With her small and timid voice, I heard my sister say, "Can I say something?", and I saw Andrea's speechless mom nod her head.

"Lacey has always been there for me and I don't know what I would do without her. It's scary when mom hits me because I don't understand why she's so angry. Sometimes she traps me in a corner and beats me with one of her leather belts…but then Lacey says something and she gets hit instead of me. I know what Lacey does for me every day and she takes care of me the best that she can.

"Even when other people at school make fun of me, she reassures me that I'll be fine and most of the time I believe her. It's just hard because I have bad clothes and people see that my face has marks them…marks that never go away. I hate my mom for what she's done to me and I hate her for what she's done to my sister. Will you please help us?"

And that's when I saw it. I had never seen Andrea's mom cry before, but there they were right before my eyes. They were tears…an endless amount of them. They didn't stop because she was soon sobbing into her hands. I looked over at Andrea and she was looking at me with the same look of surprise. Were we finally going to get the help we needed?

After a while, Andrea's mom began to wipe the tears from her eyes and said, "How could I have been so naive? I'm so sorry girls…I know I'm partially responsible for this. You're staying here tonight and every night from now on. I'm going to go make a call to the police."

She pulled out her cell phone and quickly dialed 911. "Yes, hello, my name is Maryanne Kramer and I live at 3600 S. Monroe Avenue. I have two young girls here who just informed me of some long-term abuse and I would like someone to come here immediately…yeah…m'hmm…yes they'll be staying here with me…m'hmm…okay great, thank you so much!"

She looked over at Annie and me and said, "Well, the police will be here shortly so you'll be able to give your statements and you'll be able to stay with us tonight."

I'm so grateful to Andrea's mom and I'm so happy that she believed us. But why can't I shake the feeling that I need to be worried about what happens next?