Grundy slips to second round of NFL Draft

PHILADELPHIA, PA — The NFL draft kicked off last night and one BIG surprise was Gotham University offensive tackle, Solomon Grundy, falling to the second round.

Grundy sat in the audience with his coach and the deceased bodies of his parents, waiting for the call that never came.

“He was heart-broken,” said his former teammate Francisco Garcia. “Solly has been working hard for this. I mean the Giants needed a lineman so bad! And they chose a tight end? I think they’ll regret that decision.”

Grundy did not speak to reporters on the way out. He reportedly turned over a news van after a reporter repeatedly tried to get a comment.

“That’s our Solly,” laughed Garcia.

That Solly he’s referring to is the quick-tempered zombie with superhuman strength, which was reportedly a source of concern for NFL scouts.

One NFL scout, who asked to remain anonymous because he’s terrified of Grundy, told us: “I once went to a GU game and Grundy got so mad about a holding call he literally ripped the goal post out of the ground and threw it a hundred yards! If only he played quarterback.”

Despite his issues, it is highly likely a team will take a chance on a player who can block an entire defensive line by himself.

A recent report claims the New England Patriots are offering the Cleveland Browns, who have the first pick of the second round, their remaining 2017 and all of their 2018 picks to swing up and draft Grundy.