Saturday, September 19, 2009

I'm going to be seventeen in December, now what do you think an almost seventeen year old would be doing at this time in her life? Hmm? Driving? Getting her first car? Having an after-school job and saving up for college?

Living a typical teenage life?

Well, guess what I'm not.

I don't even have my freaken driver's permit!!!

I probably won't until I'm freaken twenty!

And i am completely serious.

Dead. Serious.

You know, parents are the most arrogant son of a bitches ever. I mean do any of them ever freaken listen to their kids? Because I don't know if they get that even though we're young and they've been here longer doesn't mean we're all not all human beings. Real people who can think and not always just fucking rebellious brats that don't have minds. and you can quote me.

This is how my parents think of me. And i have my older siblings to thank for that. It's because they turned their lives into utter crap is because I can't live mine! Since my sister got her driver's licence she's been in like four car crashes. Now my parents think that if I get a car then I will go all crazy and crash things and cause havoc!

Do i seem like that sort of person? Hell freaken no! I said in my third post of this blog that I have no temptation what's so ever to get into trouble. Hell! I've even drove before with my sister and her boyfriend and I drove like a grandma!

It's like they don't even know me. I am so different from my siblings that I'm sometimes think I was adopted. I actually did when I was about the age of five. Today, when my father drew me to tears of frustration and anger, my friend had to comfort me as I was staying at her house.

There are so many reasons I NEED a car.

1. This bitchy black girl hates me and causes my whole bus to be extremely frightened of her. 2. I do not like freshman.3. Everyone in my grade is getting a car or their licence already!4. I am in serious need of a job.5. If I have a job I save up for college.6. I need a car so I won't be constantly near my parents because they are tearing me up inside (read past blogs to understand this).7. I. AM. ALMOST. SEVENTEEN!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

I started this blog on account of I wanted to bring out the injustice that a distant cousin's parents had when my cousin was murdered. How they just let the guy who killed him go free. It got me so angry that i just wanted to scream it to the whole world. Yet later I came back to my blog and started talking about my life and how ridicules it really is and i also wanted to show people my poetry. Well, after looking over my posts I realized i haven't posted much of my poetry here so I've decided to get to it now. Hope you like it.

My voice is no moreMuteJust like my heart It stops beatingAnd now I am fallingAnd now I am fallingInto a wellI am screamingRunning towards hellMy body burnsWith the hurt of despairIt crashes!

Wait!

Sorry, I got to go. Have a great summer!

Wait…

The clock continues to tickAnd like time… I wish I could disappear

(I came up with this when it was raining and i was heading for my second period, it was the third day of school and I finally saw him. By the time I got out of the rain I was drenched but I didn't care, all i was focus on doing at the time was trying to keep the poem in my head until i could get a pen and paper to write it down. The poem came to me like wind blowing in my hair as I watched him)

Rain

Standing in the rainWatching you walk awayRain drops mixed with tears, dribbling down my facePeaceful sadness fills the air.

(I wrote this poem on account of I only see him for like a minute a day)

Seconds

I breathe in your scentRelishing the moments we haveMy grasp, desperate and famishedI never want to part

I can’t get enough of youYou suffocate me with your presence Strangle me with your intelligence And burn me with the devotion I harbor for youI am yours

Yet do you fathom this?Catch the truth behind my eyesAnd see behind the disguise?That my feelings grow deeperThen infatuation or lustFriendship and trustIt could only be love, though, one sided

Except your feelings, will only ever be platonicFor the likes of meBut a gal can dreamYes, she may even schemeOnly to catch glimpse of him…

About Me

First of all I love to write.
Poetry is not dead. It's alive and it lives inside of me. I have been wanting to become a writer since i was in 6th grade. My life is complicated and if you saw me, you would never guess what kind of person i really was. I seem to baffle everyone once they get to know me. And even then they could never find the right words to describe me. I'm a puzzling soul... and i like it that way.