I do believe that would be against all Fishery and wild life rules and regulations!! So don't worry your pretty head here sweety! No Persons and\or animals died during the production and telling of this joke!

> > >> By the time the Lord made woman, he was into his Sixth day of
working
> > >>overtime. An Angel appeared and said, Why are you spending so much
time
>on > >>this one? And the Lord answered and said, Have you seen the spec
>sheet on > >>her?

> > >>She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have 200 movable
parts, all replaceable, run on black coffee and leftovers, have a lap
that can hold two children at one time and that disappears when she
stands up, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a
broken heart, and have six pairs of hands.
> > >>
The Angel was astounded at the requirements for this one. Six pairs of
hands! No Way! said the Angel. The Lord replied, Oh, it's not the hands
that are the problem. It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers must
have! And that's just on the standard model? The Angel asked. The Lord
nodded in agreement. Yep, one pair of eyes is to see through the closed
door as she asks her children what they are doing even though she
already knows. Another pair in the back of her head is to see what she
needs to know
even though no one thinks she can. And the third pair is here in the front
of her head. They are for looking at an errant child and saying that she
understands and loves him or her without even saying a single word.
> > >>
The Angel tried to stop the Lord. This is too much work for one day. Await
until tomorrow to finish. But I can't! The Lord protested, I am so close
to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already
heals herself when she is sick AND can feed a family on a pound of
hamburger and can get a nine year old to stand in the shower. The Angel
moved closer and touched the woman, But you have made her so soft,
Lord.
> > >>
She is soft, Lord agreed, but I have also made her tough. You have no idea
what she can endure or accomplish. Will she be able to think? asked the
Angel. The Lord replied, Not only will she be able to think, she will be
able to reason, and negotiate.
> > >>
The Angel then noticed something and reached out and touched the woman's
cheek. Oops, it looks like you have a leak with this model. I told you that
you were trying to put too much into this one.
> > >>
That's not a leak. The Lord objected. That's a tear! What's the tear for?
the Angel asked. The Lord said, The tear is her way of expressing her joy,
her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her loneliness, her grief, and
her
pride.
> > >>
The Angel was impressed. You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything,
for women are truly amazing.
> > >>
Women have strengths that amaze men. They carry children, they carry
hardships, they carry burdens but they hold happiness, love and joy. They
smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry. They
cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. They fight for
what
they believe in. They stand up for injustice. They don't take no for an
answer when they believe there is a better solution. They go without new
shoes so their children can have them. They go to the doctor with a
frightened friend. They love unconditionally. They cry when their children
excel and cheer when their friends get awards. Their hearts break when a
friend dies. They have sorrow at the loss of a family member, yet they are
strong when they think there is no strength left. They know that a hug and
a
kiss can heal a broken heart.
> > >>
Women come in all sizes, in all colors and shapes. They'll drive, fly,
walk,
run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. The heart of a
woman is what makes the world spin! Women do more than give birth. They
bring joy and hope. They give compassion and ideals. Women have a lot to
say and a lot to give.
> > >> > >>Pass it along to your women friends to remind them how amazing
>they are... > >>I just did

The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn,in her wheelchair, where the
activities for her 100th birthday were taking place. Grandma couldn't
speak very well, but she could write notes when she needed to
communicate. After a short time, out on the lawn, Grandma
started leaning off to the right, so some family members grabbed her,
straightened her up, and stuffed pillows on her right.
A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again the
family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left. Soon she started
leaning forward, so the family members, again grabbed her, straightened
her up, then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up.
A nephew who arrived late came running up to Grandma and said "Hi
Grandma, your looking good! How are they treating you?"
Grandma took her little notepad out and slowly wrote a note to the
nephew, "They won't let me fart".