Sunday, September 7, 2014

The Winds are Changing...

I haven't posted in a while, but I thought this was as good a time as any to catch up. How ironic is it that just as the seasons are about to change, so is everything in my life. If I'm honest, the last few months I have been kicking and screaming and throwing fits inside because I have had no idea what has been going on in my life. I've felt so out of control, unable to grasp anything. If anyone knows me, they know that I have this need (or maybe just a want) to know what is going on...always. But that's just not how God works. He is more concerned with a heart that trusts Him and knows Him more because of it.
Back in 2013, God spoke to me and said it would be the year of suddenlies-and that proved to be true. Who knew that 2014 would be the year of change. And not just change like most people think, but radical, seemingly out of control change. Things are happening in my life that I never thought would, and yes, I get angry about it sometimes, but deep down I know that unexpected is the best thing to expect. The places I'm going and the things God is taking me through I cannot do alone, so I know it is from Him.
My parents recently sold their house, my job has been ever changing, I'm almost done with school, my finacee and I are about to move 2,000 miles across the country and chapters from previous books are being closed in both of our lives. It could not be more obvious that God is transitioning us. I know this especially because I want to give up all the time. That's the enemy's way of distracting us so that we don't enter into what God is doing. But now more than ever I know we must strengthen our feeble knees and run the race He has set before us. We must be strong-and that can only happen with God.
My patience has been tested more than ever lately. Dalton and I are about to get married, my sister lives out of state, we are investing time in future things when we already have enough on our plates right now. Trying to balance family, church, wedding planning and still be intentional with each other can become difficult, because we just get tired. Although impatience, lack of peace, tiredness and frustration are evident in my life at the moment, I can say that excitement trumps all of these. This last year has been a season of preparation, and just like a kid getting ready for a big camping trip who can't sleep the night before, I am trying to not become restless in the waiting.
It's easy to become overwhelmed, but the Lord said to set your mind on things above, and that by worrying we do not add anything to our lives. What I have been discovering is that you cannot control anything, and sometimes my passion gets in the way of this truth. More than ever I am so desperate for the Lord to bring breakthrough, comfort, joy and peace into my life. Trusting him is the safest place I can be, so that is what I have chosen to do. Sure, I might stumble sometimes and grow weary and weak, but that is when His strength is perfect-when I surrender and say I have nothing without You.
So here's to the changing seasons, the changing winds..
I trust you Jesus.