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Adopting Support Skills: Friendship

Atikah 21 Aug, 2018

To make good friendship is to pick the one that will always be there for you, have good influence on you and just be there through thick and thin with you. To know of someone who really cares for you is that someone MAKES time for you and we ourselves will also take effort in making time for them. Accept that it will always be aquaintances first, I will always start of close friendship if that someone has same issues/passion and one that doesn’t disociate when I’m around.

If it's someone new, I typically will not think so far if we will gonna be friends. Typically I will talk to him/her just like a social event with all the basic attitudes, like being polite, respectful, friendly etc. If there is reason to become friends, basically will connect via whatsapp or Facebook 1st. And as the friendship grows, to meet occasionally for catching up.

(2) Maintaining friendship: Take the first step to stay in touch. Some times I say 'hi how r u' on whatsapp or fwd a useful online article, little actions like these can convey the message that I remember him. I also invite the person out for a meal or to join me to attend an interesting event. When the person is in need of help, I will help when I can, I believe being friends also means caring for one another

(1) How to approach: Take the first step. Join meet-ups is easiest for me. I also find it easy to approach a stranger during an event, or when attending a workshop. Ask how the person find the workshop is a good starting point. When conversation develops, don't talk about yourself all the time, ask neutral questions about the other party, be respectful not intrusive. Finally ask for his mobile contact you can say you enjoy the chit chat, perhaps we can hang out sometime. (to be contd)

Through mutual friends try to get to know other people. Use common interests like religion and hobbies to find new friends.
Invite them for a lunch or a religious etc gatherings to keep the friendship going. Message them too

I’m not an extrovert, so I don’t go around knowing everyone and say hi to everyone. I’m more of a person to create deep friendships and so, it’s good to maintain them by asking them how are they and all. But to be honest there’s no methods to making friends because I believe that being comfortable is the best way, and that means with no judgement, you just accept them for who they are.

when I freeze before encountering a group of people or an individual, I feel my feet, the ground, take a couple breaths, feel my body. then approach the person.
I take note that when things go awry, I take no blame. a conversation is a two-way street.
I maintain friendship by bonding on common interests as and when comfortable and convenient for both sides.

And when friendship is already established, it’s usually maintained via catching up through texting and arranging to meet up when we’re both free. The key thing is knowing how to listen, understand and appreciate, and having the ability to communicate that to the other person. And set boundaries if you have to.

Go for different events, introduce yourself and network from there or just go up to people and say hi and connect from there. When it comes to starting a friendship, unless the other person is keen on texting, I usually spend more energy connecting with someone in person because that’s when I can really experience the other person and they can experience me.

I do make friends those who are trust worthy, being responsible for what they speak and perform it in action. I do have friends those who could share all their pros and cons in life. I would appreciate if they could help me in hard times and also join hands to celebrate my happy moment. I strongly believe in being a sound by people with good heart being my friend.

By improving on personal EQ will help anybody make friends easily. I noticed that my group of friends whom we can click with one another have similar traits from one another - which is low EQ. If we want to have positive friendships, EQ is very important.

I supposed you need to be genuinely interested in the person not for any personal gains. To approach the person, I usually are quite open about myself, being friendly, helpful. Sometimes it can be taken advantage of by people, so I think need to be cautious when you get to know people first. Maintaining friendship would require being there for the person, and if the person has issues, try to help them out.

So remember TRUST is the most important pillar of any relationship.Always be patient enough and listen to ur friends,hear what they have to say,respect their ideas and opinions,try to spend some time with them..and most importantly stop counting the things that u have done for ur friend..

Another important thing is, to be honest, and trustworthy. It is always better not to hide anything from your close friends; even if you do something wrong just admit it, your friend may get angry but that's just transient and your sincere apology can save that situation..but instead if you start hiding things from your friend and he gets to know about it from someone else, that will ruin the trust that he has in you..n this can even ruin a friendship..

Even more difficult is to maintain your friendship. To maintain a relationship is the responsibility of both the persons indulged in that relationship..even if your friend do not contact u often, even if he forgets ur bday, keep your ego away n you contact him instead, remember his bday n wish him..this will keep that friendship alive. EGO is the villain in most of the relationships..let's kick that villain off from our relationships.

To polish this relationship into a good friendship is a gradual process. Your conversations n deeds should reflect what you are. do not try to fake yourself in front of others. Those relationships that arise out of misunderstandings and misinterpretations about u are mostly fragile. Only those who can accept u as what u are, accept ur positives and negatives n help u correct ur negatives can be ur good friends. Be honest n sincere in ur deeds..This will grab u more good friends.

Making good friends is of course a tough process n even more difficult is to maintain those friendships..According to me,every single relationship starts with a smile..So keep smiling always.. :) ..no one will ever try to initiate a conversation with someone who is looking so tough/so dull.. it is the smile that initiates a conversation between them..n there marks the beginning of a new relationship..

Depending on the situation, I may approach them to talk or they come to talk to me. Then I will closely observe them by their talks and their tastes, their likes and all, if I feel they are good people and I can trust then I will establish friendship with them by chats, texting or calls once in a while, may be meet ups.

In friendships, the relationship should be growing one mutually. If one side is not working no need to carry it long way. If someone is approaching observe them their background their words , Iam more over considering about their words than other things. Friendships can maintain through good motive words good calls etc.

I introduce myself first and then ask for their name, then they will ask something back and then the conversation starts flowing. Eventually, there will be a situation when the conversation comes to a standstill and when that happens, I ask about their hobbies or such things. And if I think the person is worth keeping as a friend, that is, someone who won't judge me and is easy to get along with, I will exchange numbers. If not I'll just tell them it was nice meeting them and end it at that.

Making friends is easy for me but maintaining the relationship is difficult as I tend not to go out and hang out much or update my friends on every small thing that happens in my life. Therefore, maintaining a relationship is something that I am still learning to do. However, when it comes to making acquaintances, I just walk up to a person and strike up a conversation and ignore the awkward feeling that comes up.

Healthy Mind Online Pte Ltd (HMO) is a Social Enterprise registered with Singapore Centre for Social Enterprise (raiSE). It provides an online platform focused on mental wellness and health. The platform provides end-to-end online support to users from the comfort of their home. A unique structured approach is used to engage users. It hopes to help contribute towards a healthier and happier Singapore and the World, by getting significantly more persons in need find help and..
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