If we were to take all the information and the talks we hear seriously, we might conclude that nobody – like, really, nobody – is happy with their job at all. Complaining about your job and the fact that what you have to do is very boring, or stupid, or hard to do, seems to be everyone’s real job. At least judging from the effort and enthusiasm invested into this complaining. But if everyone were to look beyond their (sometimes) petty reasons to whine and get over the pretentiousness, not only would the world be a better place (because maybe then we could actually move on to having better conversations), but we might also notice the truly awful jobs out there.

Some people are either very brave, or have a very strong stomach, or are simply out of better alternatives and have to settle for jobs that most people would avoid like the plague. Honestly, there are probably few worse ways to make a living than what you’re about to see. I, for one, would prefer to gurn every day for a living rather than doing any of these really awful jobs. Therefore, let’s pay a bit more respect to the people whose jobs actually suck and stop complaining like a bunch of frustrated teenagers about ours. Nothing most of us do could possibly compare to any of these:

Bull (or elephant) masturbator

Nope, there will be no picture posted of this job. Really. But the description may be suggestive enough for any reader to be grossed out by now. You know, in zoos and also in modern farming, there’s no time anymore to allow the animals to naturally reproduce, and therefore semen must be collected from a male and used to inseminate quite a high population of females (at least in farming). Well, that semen used must be collected somehow. And guess what – there’s actually a position for that (no pun intended). The official name for the job is barnyard masturbator and it involves holding an artificial vagina really steady on the bull’s penis until the animal has had its fun and the liquid is collected. Needless to say, it is tricky and quite dangerous. Plenty of people have been injured and had to be taken to the hospital while trying to do their work at this job. Lovely, right?

Janitor at an Adult Movie Cinema

Well, it’s probably in the same category as the one above, but minus the danger part. Imagine the kind of people that go to see adult movies in a theater and imagine what goes on during the movie projection. Yup, your guess is right. And now imagine the delight of the poor soul that has to clean up the floor and the seats after each movie. You’re starting to be more content with your job now, I bet.

Carcass cleaner

Probably the job of a butcher isn’t something very appealing to most people. It could be considered one of the awful jobs out there, even if a necessary one. But if you imagine butchering animals up for a living is gross, imagine what it would be like if instead of just chopping, the person would have to carefully clean up all the rotting flesh from a corpse in order to preserve the skeleton (for museum-related and scientific purposes). This is usually done by a taxidermist who either allows the flesh to rot into an advanced state of degradation so it gets easier to remove, or boils the corpse to soften it up faster, or who enlists the help of bugs and worms and vermin to do part of the job of removing that flesh.

If you’re already happy to go back to whatever work you do, also note that these were just a few examples. There are plenty of other awful jobs out there to further horrify you, but perhaps on another occasion. In the meantime, enjoy your work and stop whining.