behaviour-tantrums& despair

this kind of links wtih Christy's subject about the older baby sleep issues, but I have a few questions that I need to find a few answers.

Obvioulsy with #1 you find you explore the whole world for answers, but at what age do kids start tantrums, & when the screaming & the night waking the unexplained crying drives you nuts how and when do you know you are ready to have #2???

Right now I really want to have another bub but when do you make that choice? & when you lose patients when DS doenst want to eat or wont sleep or DH is stressed dealing with it! (or is it natural to vent your anger)?

I guess if DH is frazzled now do you wait a bit longer... just seems as Christy was saying I though when they got over 1 it got better....

awww *hugs* Look when Matilda hit 18 months I thought, hmmmm maybe we could do this, it took DH another month to come around and then we got PG really quickly. But there was No way I was having another child before she was 16 months It was so much more stressful then. Matilda started tantrums around 9 months and goes through them with her developmental stages. Sometimes we can have a good 2-3 days without a tantrum and things go so well (other than sleep ) but atm things are really bad & I am worried about having 2, I keep thinking other women are doing this.... but I know I am going to have to really rely on my support network in the next year.

Thanks Christy its just a question I think most mums probably question. & I am back and work full time now I see the stress it has on DH as he has to help out now too. We take it in turns at night. We do two nights on and two off. Some nights DS doesnt wake where some he does just for a bottle, & others (last night) three times with one big episode. & some days (mostly weekends as we work) he is such a handful with windging he is walking assisted with furnature so is he getting frustrated?

With the tantrums what am I looking for?

& with planning #2 Christy why did you decide 18 months was a good age?

LOL 18 months seems like a good time to start because I seriously couldn't even picture looking out for 2 before then 8-[ It was all so hard....

Matilda's tantrums vary a lot, but there is a great article on the main site about tantrums too. When she was younger she would stand up & throw her whole body backwards & arch her back & scream. Now it really depends, if DH is around she throws her body at his feet & screams & if he looks at her she will start gagging & hold her breath until she passes out.

If its just me around, she runs to her room, screams for 5 minutes and then comes out happy. She will slam the door on me because she doesn't want me near her & honestly I don't want to be near her either....

We were at the Dr today and Matilda didn't get what she wanted & the Dr told her "no" for pulling on something & she fell to the ground with great drama... unfortunatly DH & I both laughed because it was such a good show... she got worse but eventually settled down and had some cuddles. But it did take her a bit to get there today.