Taking the dog on long walks. Reading good books (I write non-fiction, but I read mostly novels). Coveting nice clothes I can't afford; hoarding secondhand two-ply cashmere. I've been working intermittently on a hand-sewn quilt for about a year now. Also, cooking good things and freezing them in individual portions. Eating dollar oysters. Drinking wine and whiskey.

I’m really good at

Throwing up without anyone noticing.

The first things people usually notice about me

If they can see me? My smile. If they can't? My laugh.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

Recently loved Annihilation and Motherless Brooklyn. Perennial faves are Vonnegut, Capote, Salinger. I thought I'd hate Moby Dick, but it is a fucking masterpiece. I love books and hoard them.

I get the New Yorker. Talk of the Town is my favorite, but I also love reading 10,000 word articles on, like, elevators or some shit. I also subscribe to the Economist, because it's a great way to learn about what's happening in the world outside the US. I've actually been reading that more than anything else lately.

Cashmere cardigansWhiskeyPocket notebookFelt tip penDresses with floral patternsA good book

But the only thing I would rescue from a fire would be my dog. I can live without anything else.

I spend a lot of time thinking about

Why do I never have any money?

On a typical Friday night I am

Generally drunk. Avoiding crowded places. At home with the dog. Sharing a bottle of wine (or two) with a friend. Occasionally, sitting in the nosebleeds and watching an opera. Maybe a baseball game? I'd like to go to more baseball games.

I'm a homebody. I mostly just like sitting at home with my dog, drinking Manhattans, and watching some documentary about cults or drag queens on Netflix.

You should message me if

You're smart and creative.

You want to have a few drinks and talk about silly things for a few hours.

You like doing nothing.

You're a man in his 30s with a beard. Or gray hair. I will be inexorably attracted to you.

You appreciate bitches with attitude.

Sorry, I'm a New York elitist who doesn't like to travel too far. Please live in Brooklyn or Manhattan. Also, I don't do camping. Or vegans.