Annoying Orange – Crappy Captioned 5: TOE-MAY-TOE (transcript)

Juli 26, 2015

Narrator: Here at Annoying Orange, we caption every video for our hearing-impaired fans.
And also because Google’s automatic captions are THE WORST!
Here’s another episode we remade using the same terrible automatic captions to prove it.
Enjoy!

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Orange: Free Harm Root Beer! (sighs) How bored.
Tomato: (seen wearing a top hat) Low hope. Where? …And why? (shows an iPhone)
Orange: He-Apple! You’re back! (kicks the Harm Root Beer stand)
Tomato: (showing his Instagram photos) Like!
Orange: He-Apple, where you been?
Tomato: (throwing his iPhone) Are you talking to me?
Orange: He-Apple! (a parody of He-Man is shown)
Tomato: I’m not an apple.
Orange: HE. He-Apple.
Tomato: I’m not an apple. (shown drifting on water)
Orange: Yeah. Our your Red Sea. You’re an apple.
Tomato: (showing a magazine entitled “CCM” with a picture of a female plum on it) Note on early CCM: I’m a tomato.
Orange: A tomato? You look like an apple. Up!
Squash: Ewww! Not again!
Tomato: No no no no no. I’m a fruit. Like an apple, but I’m not an apple.
Orange: Why no, you’re not. You’re a vegetable.
Tomato: Well, that’s a common misconception, but to me, like myself, Hyman the Apple.
Orange: Can you split scenes?
Tomato: Life. (Daneboe cuts screen with his knife. Tomato was seen wearing a top hat again and holding a human skull)
Orange: (crowd applause) Like, YES! (throws a bouquet of flowers)
Tomato: How to tech is wrong with you, Kevin Orange? (having a big bump)
Orange: I’m Kevin.
Tomato: Don’t ever do that to a tomato. Don’t you know how easily I bruise? You’re– I– (disappears, then appears again with a blackboard with “Told Me He Told” written on it). Told ME HE Told. It’s tomato.
Orange: Told Me 800.
Tomato: Top MAY Tell. To-MAY-To. It’s not hard.
Orange: Yeah, you’re a vegetable.
Tomato: Fruit! I’m a fruit! I–
Orange: You can’t be a fruit and vegetable.
Tomato: I know! I’m not! It’s up root. Tomatoes are fruits!
Orange: No, you’re not. Your vegetable. Like a pocket. (showing his pants with vegetables on the rear)
Tomato: Pumpkins are fruit too you more on!
Orange: Here. Elephants are microwaves! (whistling. Elephants with bodies like microwaves try to attack Tomato)
Tomato: (grunts) HACK ORANGES! (hacks Orange with Daneboe’s knife)
Orange: You’re an apple.
Tomato: On the tomato.
Orange: Apple!
Tomato: Tomato!
Orange: Apple!
Tomato: Tomato!
Orange: Apple!
Tomato: Tomato!
Orange: Blender.
Tomato: (Daneboe puts him in the same blender from the original TOE-MAY-TOE episode) Up? Well, hey!
Orange: Well!
Tomato: Ball, take me but–don’t know, don’t know! (Daneboe presses the blend button on the blender. Tomato was blended again)
Orange: But what’s that gotta? (Tomato screams in the blender) You OK?
(Daneboe turns off the blender)
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(Daneboe puts a plate of hamburger, french fries, and Tomato, who is now a ketchup on the counter)
Orange: You see, Europe?
Map of Europe: Yeah yeah yeah, how tomato? Good to see you.
Orange: Yeah, I– what? Other week 8. Catch up!
Map of Europe: How getting catch up?
Orange: AC, why lapping head?
(an AC with a tongue is seen licking hot water on a cup that looks like a human head)