"The pure impulse of dynamic creation is formless; and being formless, the creation it gives rise to can assume any and every form." --Kabbalah~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?"

"My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man."

"Well, I'll be darned," the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized.

"I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"

"I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at 2am, at which time he is extremely drunk. When he enters his house, he doesn't want to wake anyone, so he takes off his shoes and starts tip-toeing up the stairs. Half-way up the stairs, he falls over backwards and lands flat on his rear end. That wouldn't have been so bad, except that he had couple of empty pint bottles in his back pockets, and they broke, and the broken glass carved up his buttocks terribly. But, he was so drunk that he didn't know he was hurt.

A few minutes later, as he was undressing, he noticed blood, so he checked himself out in the mirror, and, sure enough, his behind was cut up something terrible. Well, he repaired the damage as best he could under the circumstances, and he went to bed.

The next morning, his head was hurting, and his rear was hurting, and he was hunkering under the covers trying to think up some good story, when his wife came into the bedroom.

"Well, you really tied one on last night," she said. "Where'd you go?"

"I worked late," he said, "and I stopped off for a couple of beers."

"A couple of beers? That's a laugh," she replied. "You got plastered last night. Where the heck did you go?"

"What makes you so sure I got drunk last night, anyway?"

"Well," she replied, "my first big clue was when I got up this morning and found a bunch of band-aids stuck to the mirror." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time", he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife. So he drags himself out of bed, and goes downstairs. He opens the door and there is man standing at the door. It didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk.

"Hi there." slurs the stranger, "Can you give me a push??"

"No, get lost, it's half past three. I was in bed." says the man and slams the door.

He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says:

"Dave, that wasn't very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby-sitter and you had to knock on that man's house to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost??"

"But the guy was drunk." says the husband.

"It doesn't matter." says the wife. "He needs our help and it would be the Christian thing to help him."

So the husband out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs. He opens the door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere he shouts:

"Hey, do you still want a push??" and he hears a voice cry out "Yeah please."

So, still being unable to see the stranger he shouts: "Where are you?"

And the stranger replies: "I'm over here, on your porch swing."~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.

"Why of course", comes the reply.

The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"

"I'm from Scotland", replies the second man.

The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Scotland too! Let's have another round to Scotland."

"Of Course", replies the second man.

Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Scotland are you from?"

"Aberdeen", comes the reply.

"I can't believe it", says the first man. "I'm from Aberdeen too! Let's have another drink to Aberdeen."

"Of course", replies the second man.

Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?"

"Saint Andrews", replies the second man. "I graduated in '62."

"This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Andrews and graduated in '62, too!"

About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.

Good morning everyone. I'm going shopping and to lunch with best friend today. The 2 boys left for Penn. around midnight. They will not be back until after the New Year. We will have a second Christmas celebration when they get home. Christmas Eve. hubby's brother and wife will be here from Atlanta. We will have a small get together here. Christmas day we will have family and friends here for dinner. I love the Holidays.

It was just a bit cool when I let the dogs out this morning. I can't believe Christmas is almost here. Must think about presents for the boys. We are going very very small this year. Also must think of what to cook. Time to browse the cook books.

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"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." -Roger Caras

Just got inside and I've been out digging up a new home for 5 superman tomato plants -they're almost jumping out of their little planters. Digdigdig hoehoehoe rakerakerake and added rock phosphate and home made compost -mostly coffee grounds- now watering the area. Obvious I haven't done this kind of work for some years but it is certainly rewarding, especially in the hot sun -it might get to 80 today. So tomorrow I'll plant them.

Oblivion update: Started a new game and this time I'm a cat named Cleo and maybe he will be smarter than that Imperial. However I'll apportion gaming time better.

gosh Ana snowing there and 80 here.

Happy Tuesday all

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I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose

A big thank you to Ana, Joe, Nan, looney4labs and Lotus to pray and cross fingers for me. I'am sure we can find some more Boomies who like to walk cross fingered and cross toed (and yes Joe, cross eyed :D) till the end of January for me...

As I can read in the different posts here, there is a huge spread in temps throughout the States. Here in Switzerland it's wintertime almost everywhere. In the North of Switzerland, were I'am living,there is no snow but really cold weather. Day after tomorrow hubby and I will drive to Italy again and I heard that temps are in the 54 F there. No white Christmas in Italy.

Nan: may we take the Band with us again?

I wish all of you a happy day and a nice evening and I'am sending lots of love..

Evelyne

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"You ask me what life is. That's like asking me what a carrot is. A carrot is a carrot is a carrot" (A. Chekhov)

Hi L4L -I bought 2 floating row things for the 5 outside plants. They are called N-Sulate. I know it's like abandoning my children, kinda attached to them. There are 8 in all so 3 are in pots in the house and 5 outside. This summer they will need a shade of sorts due to the sun. And then there's grasshoppers. Kits believe they have a wonderful outside litter box -got news for you kits

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I wish I were a cat and belonged to me ~ My Aunt Helen Mary Rose

Ahhh, back from a nice perambulation around the park. Son, his kids, my "kids", and I are just back. Son and the boys played Freeze Tag. Skywalker did not like it when we split up.

Now I am undoing all my hard work by drinking an Icee. I have have have to go get new walking shoes. Mine are forcing my foot to roll to the outside which I'm pretty sure is causing my back to hurt. Tossing them straight into the garbage so I won't be tempted to wear them again.

The boys are explaining all about the Elf on the Shelf and his powers.

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"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." -Roger Caras

Afternoon; back from the store; took my elderly neighbor with me. He treated at Arbies, really like Arbies. He's 87 years young and always forgets his hearing aid so I'm almost shouting, then when I talk to anyone else it's with the raised voice...duh...lol. Don't get me wrong, he's is a very nice man.Winds have let up and sun out for a bit but now clouding up.Happy, happy, happy, WWE on all week with specials. Doesn't anyone else watch WWE?

Off to ponder the rest of the day; to all a good day.

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Reading is to the mind, what exercise is to the body - Joseph Addison

Hi gang. Home from a very busy day.Worked this morning, then home for a few minutes, then to my new PT guy, then to my chiropractor for a reevaluation, then, then home for a few, then back to work. Now I'm just relaxing until bedtime. Tomorrow I see my Mom. Been too long since my last visit. I've been told she fell today. I did talk with her and she said she's just sore. Nothing broken, thank God.

I hope you all had a good day. Ana don't work too hard in the corner. Trippy , no I don't watch WWE, sorry. L4L I know how hard it is to get a pair of shoes to feel comfortable. I still don't have a pair that I like. Here comes winter and still I haven't found a decent pair of shoes that I can keep on my feet for any length of time.

OK. I'm done. See you in the morning before my trip. Oh Nan are your band of Angels busy watching anybody else tomorrow? I sure could use them for my trip if they're not busy watching anybody else. Pleaseandthankyou.