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Tuesday, October 30, 2012

I've been debating for a long time on a decision. A big decision. One that could change my future. Yet even though I want to say yes to this step toward a better future, something holds me back. So what is it?
Fear.

Sometimes God is calling us to take that first step into the water before He shows us the rest of the way. We have to take that first step in faith. Stepping into the water, trusting that God is going to make that waters dry up to save us. That much-hated little word. Thief of dreams and hopes. Holding you in paralyzing indecision for fear of making the wrong choice. Yes, that fear.As I sit here contemplating the pros and cons, so many thoughts going through my head. I've prayed about it. Again and again and again. And then I read this:

Joshua 3:13-16, "And as soon as the priests who carry the ark of the Lord—the Lord of all the earth—set foot in the Jordan, its waters flowing downstream will be cut off and stand up in a heap. So when the people broke camp to cross the Jordan, the priests carrying the ark of the covenant went ahead of them.Now the Jordan is at flood stage all during harvest. Yet as soon as the priests who carried the ark reached the Jordan and their feet touched the water’s edge,the water from upstream stopped flowing. It piled up in a heap a great distance away, at a town called Adam in the vicinity of Zarethan, while the water flowing down to the Sea of the Arabah (that is, the Dead Sea) was completely cut off. So the people crossed over opposite Jericho."

Joshua was leading the people of Israel out of Egypt (after Moses died) and they came to the river Jordan. They had to get across. It was the season where the Jordan was overflowing, water spilling from it's banks. And an overflowing river can be scary. Yet God told Joshua that as soon as the feet of the priests touched the water, the water would dry up. These people had heard about what God did for their fathers and mothers in parting the Red Sea. But would He do it for them? They were probably fearful. But they did it. They faced their fear. And as soon as their feet touched the water, it dried up.

This really spoke to me. Sometimes God is calling us to take that first step into the water before He shows us the rest of the way. We have to take that first step in faith. Stepping into the water, trusting that God is going to make that waters dry up to save us.

I have a little bit of work on having that kind of faith. But I'll try. With my decision of taking my education farther and all that that includes, I will look to God as I take the first step.

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Last year around this time I was returning from the biggest adventure of my life. 6 months in two different U.S. cities, and 3 locations in Lima, Peru. I returned a changed person.

Now as I examine my life, it seems as if I'm slipping back into my old ways. During my dts, those 6 months were crammed with so many things that I feared. Sharing my testimony in front of a room full of people that I desperately wanted to accept me, boarding a plane for the first time, eating weird foods, understanding none of the language besides "Hola!" Oh and "Gringa", and sharing the Gospel in front of people. I thought I had banished fear. I thought I had finally eluded his deadly grip.

But I haven't. Fear is an old friend. We've known each other a long time. And it seems like the fear is even more paralyzing this time around. Maybe I have more decisions to make, or maybe not. One thing I know, I've tried to step out of this fear. God knows I've tried. But it seems at every step I take fear assails me, ambushing me. Fear has become comfortable.

Mostly fear of being rejected. Fear of the unknown. Fear of the future. Fear of never being good enough and always being second best.

But I can't go on like this. Faith is colliding with my fear. So what am I to do?

I'm trying to make the next couple of blog posts about fear. Overcoming fear. Getting behind the reason it has such a hold on our lives.

Let's put our love to action...

About Me

Just an ordinary person with an extraordinary Savior. Each of us has a story, and this is a small part of mine. You'll find alot of Jesus, alot about books and writing, alot of everyday life and all the little things inbetween that make up my story.