See Ya Later Gladiator

Sun’s out, legs out. Or in my case, hide them away until the fake tan has developed! I’ve got very fair skin naturally and my pins spend most of their days entombed in jeans or heavily filtered in the thickest denier tights going. Unleashing the lily whites is HARD, not only because they’re hella pale but also because they’re hardly dainty. Don’t get me wrong, these legs have their strong points – they helped me run a whole freaking marathon and they sure can lift a good 50 kgs so it’s not all bad. I’m just not a legs out kinda girl. But here I am being all rebellious in an attempt to self-love. And also cos… 23 degrees is no temperature for jeans, so Topshop’s famous A-line skirt is as good as it gets.

Moving onto the top – I think this little bad boy was something like £7 from the H&M conscious range. It was only available in a size 14 at the time, but after trying it on I liked how oversized it was. It also came with some straps to help keep it up but I said to hell with them – if you’re gonna Bardot do it right right do it with me… and then I cut them out. I do this with labels too which is great because they’re itchy af, until it comes to washing them and I haven’t got a clue what to do.

As for the old gladiators. I got these last year from H&M for our holiday to Morocco and only ended up wearing them once: 1) because I’d seen one too many memes about strapped up pork loins and 2) because we were too busy lounging around getting Argan massages and eating our body weight in tagine to even think twice about changing out of our flip flops.

Then a few weeks back, I rediscovered them. Actually, the real story was I was trying to navigate the black hole that is my wardrobe when they fell off the top shelf nearly knocking me out in the process. Hey, I’ve got a fat lip and an egg on my head, but it’s allll good because my feet are beautifully bandaged. Ironically.

The first time I attempted to wear them, they took me so long to put on I nearly single handedly sabotaged my relationship. It was that stressful. I mean if Eastenders did a shoe, this would be it. But like a Grecian goddess version of Eastenders. It would be called Walford Warriors. Maybe it was for the good of my relationship that I chose to forget about these lace up drama queens, for a while anyway! It was a good amount of breathing space and I’m pretty sure it made us stronger in the process. LOL.

I’m also wearing my Zara choker because I’m a creature of habit and rarely go out without one these days and oh, let’s not forget the most desirable accessory of all: my 5 day-old unwashed hair. Now that is what I call, warrior style.