Sunday, June 28, 2015

Wow the day is flying by… have not accomplished much yet… made my list…
took my vitamins… had a chat on the phone… keep flitting from one thing
to another… great way to accomplish nothing… argh…

Ok… focus…
supposed to be a warmer day today… good day for cleaning up the minivan
seats and putting them back into the van to find it a new home… leather
seats… it actually drives pretty nice… has a wheelchair lift in the back… the kind that straps onto the chair and lifts it…

List for today… fill bird feeder… feed/water kennels, big dogs, ducks,
geese, chickens, goats, house dogs, bring in firewood, process red
beets … freezing them… seriously need to hem compression pants that fit
me and redo their waist bands… and need to vac the rug and do Oxycise… I
always feel better when I do that exercise… and the compression pants
are an issue… I’ve lost enough inches in my legs hips and waist that the
ones I am trying to wear have become too long and are wadding up around
my ankles causing pain… not to mention not giving support where needed…

Accomplished a bit yesterday… went to the old home place and
pulled out the last decrepit auto and got rid of it… one less thing
piled on that place… made it through without a total meltdown… I did
good… it is going to take a long time to have that place completely
cleaned up… but bit by bit it will get done… it is posted with no
trespassing signs… and fenced… it is enough to be cleaning up after my
hoarding relatives… but it is enraging to see trash thrown over the
fence from the neighbors… then to ask me when I am cleaning the place
up… seriously!!!!! I did not say anything other than it is posted for
no trespassing… best to not let that rage monster out of it’s cage just
yet… she is really angry and has sharp talons…

I did not make
this friggen mess… I’ve cleaned it up before… trying to work with family
members… only to have my hands tied and the place turned back into a
friggen nightmare… then of course been accused of abandoning family
members … really… when it was made impossible … friggen impossible… was
not my choices that made this nightmare… it did not have to be this way…
but it is… I look and I think of what could have been… yet was made
impossible… I see the remnants of so much work and caring that was put
into that place before… by both my husband and myself… only to have been
destroyed… buildings neglected beyond repair… then of course the
scavengers are bitching because it is difficult to get through the
place… trespassing thieving scavengers… too bloody bad there are not
more rattlesnakes there…

Ok…breathe… center yourself… not
worth becoming lost in rage over… just isn’t… there is a lot of emotion
tied to the ole family place… some light… a lot of darkness and pain…
and rage… it is almost as if it clings to the place… slithering through
the burned out house… infusing whoever walks through there… with agony
and rage… the earth is healing itself there… growing over covering up
reabsorbing… slowly taking it all back into herself… as for me… bit by
bit… I am working with her… her being the earth… slowly working my way
through that place… and all the memories buried there… I’ll do what I
can do… bit by bit… if others do not like the way I am progressing… too
bad… stay off the property… and keep your trash… both physical and
otherwise to yourself…

Some days I would really like to just let go … relinquish the control I hold to… and release the dragon… let her fly free…

May have to release her into some paint… something to think about next
time you walk through a museum or gallery… what are those sculptures and
paintings really… lol…

The sun is still shining… there is a
cloud cover coming on… ack… stepped out into the yard and there was the
guinea flock… white and bright coming down the hill… the guineas I have
living here are white… lavender… and pearl…

saw a male pheasant on the way home yesterday… and an eagle sitting in the field ripping apart it’s meal … majestic bird…

The beets are in a tub sitting on the sideboard of the kitchen sink…
waiting… thinking sewing the compression pants needs to be first up…
make it less painful to get the rest of the work done… well as much as
can be… there is a chill in here… or perhaps it is just me… as the
thermometer says it is not chilly…

Gratitudes: did not go into total crisis while at family home place… firewood… true friends…

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Yes the website is still there... however I do not have any puppies... my dogs are all retired... living their lives ... hanging out with their dog pals... there is some good info there... some poetry... pom pics... and other stuff... I have not brought myself to go in there to edit and update since my husband died... it is what it is...

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Dragon"s Fog... A Short Story

This morning there is a fog… the kind of fog that dragons relish… thick warm moist fog… not the bone chilling stuff of a winter’s morn… but the caressing fog of the wee hours of a summer’s dawn… moisture dripping ever so slowly from the trees… soaking into every crack and crevice the sun and wind have left behind… nourishing moisture for the life of the trees and dragon folk…

Not the pelting driving rain of flash floods… not so long past… rains that do as much damage as good… but the gentle caress of a warm fog… shutting out the outside world… wrapping all in its shroud of wet gray freedom…

You can hear them you know… rumbling as they dash about and play in the freedom of the gray… a rumbling roar that echoes through the hills… feel them as the ground vibrates from their antics… no fires today… only play…

There are stories of olde… of dragons at play… dancing and leaping into the sky… red… purple… and yellow of eye… colures shifting as they blink… blink away… into the nether regions of Ire…

Stories of their wing-spans filling the sky… great hordes of dragons in flight… moving the air below from their wings might…

There are fewer now… or so seem to be… never seen one in flight… I’ve heard tell in the minstrels’ delight… seen such woven in the Tapestry’s tale hung in the even glow light…

Now they come only in the fog… happy sounds in the warm summer morn… screeching in pain… in the cold fog of north winters morn…

Its summer now… so a warm fog blesses the hills with the dragons dance… I’m drawn to their sounds as a moth to the flame…

The elders huddle in fear as they hear their morning games… I wonder if their fear is to keep us contained… huddled in houses… free only in name…

I hear the dragons call… almost my name… just over the ridge… am I food … foe… or friend… soon to be seen…

I can see their eyes… they glow in the fog… the edge of a wing… in colures extreme… deep purple… shading to green… reds so brilliant they are hard to behold… golden gleaming… and silver so pure… blues so deep as to be dreaming…

There are others among them… others like me… with the dream to be free… like me but changed… their garb bright and gleaming… unlike the drab colors of the elder folk…

They’re mounting the dragons… as if to ride the skies… many are rider-less… stirring about… a bright golden beast… with eyes shimmering like diamonds in the sun... moving my way…

It seems I’ve been chosen… to ride or be dined upon… which would it be… face my fear …it’s clutching at my heart… the drive to be free overpowering it’s binding grasp… I step forward… towards my chosen fate…

The huge golden beast dips it’s head first to one side then the other… standing still now I am… watching in fascination its graceful approach… moves so lightly for a beast so large… golden scales like feathers ruffling with each move...

Frozen in place now I am… tis fear or fascination …which I am not sure… watching the golden dragon’s dance… her great neck swaying and dipping… bright eyes swirling with colours… wings close… then spread wide… low then raised high… how graceful the steps of this dance…

Am I food … foe… or friend… tis soon to be seen… I can feel her breath on my face… her great eyes so bright… the swirling colours slowing to a deep solid purple… focused on me… still … looking… seeming to judge… am I found to be lacking and as such … merely food… or worthy of life… and as such friend… welcome to fly upon this great beasts back… to blink to Ire and never look back…

Standing still am I…face to face … eye to eye… with this great beast so golden… time seems to stop… in a moment frozen…

A choice is made… a move so quickly as to appear invisible… I am lifted high… yet to know food or friend… but sure in my risk… freedom in the dragons’ dance is truly to be blessed… either way I’m free not bound by elders’ quest...

My seat it seems … tis at the base of this great beast’s neck… as she deposits me… hence the grasp of her razor edged jaws with nary scratch… seems I’m friend rather than food… bonded now with this golden beast…

The warm morning fog is lifting… Skyward we rise… as one in the air… wings rustling as music… so swift is our rise… blinked into Ire…