Thanks for the glittery shoes, by the way

The original letter

Transcript

Dear Santa,
It’s not actually been that long since my last letter (I’m guessing around 7 years, which isn’t very long even by cat standards)! Thanks for the glittery shoes by the way, I wore them until the heels fell off (I don’t suppose your elves make them in adult sizes do they)?
Well I’m officially an ‘adult’ now which means children everywhere think that I am a grown up (unless I moved to America of course which would give me another 2 years)! How funny is that?! I have got to be totally honest and tell you that I don’t actually feel like a ‘grown up’ and I am wondering is there’s a specific point that grown-up-ness kicks in? The thing that worries me the most is does this now mean that it’s time to stop believing? If the answer is yes, then I will accept it with good grace (albeit reluctantly) but I wonder if there is a compromise to be reached. I am thinking Christmas Eve; what if I swapped the mince pies and milk that I always leave out for maybe Brandy Snaps and a glass of Malbec (or are you more a whisky kind of guy)? That’s grown up isn’t it? Although hang on…. thinking about it…… that’s potentially promoting alcohol consumption which could lead to binge drinking and Brandy Snaps are full of sugar which can
a: rot your teeth and
b: lead to obesity which is one big HOT topic in the news over here.
Okay, how about a slice of tofu with a side of mung beans and a glass of mineral water (there are a plethora of brands out there to choose from)? That doesn’t seem very festive somehow though.
Oh it’s really not easy this grown-up thing, such responsibility and I won’t even get onto the opening your own bank statements and remembering to file them YOURSELF thing.

I don’t really need much in the way of presents because being adult means you earn your own living and should I ever have the urge to go and buy a Frozen toy, I have the means to do so. That’s quite a nice feeling.

So if it’s all the same to you, would you mind awfully if I just kept things as they were? To still leave out Christmas goodies and a carrot (for Rudolph) on Christmas Eve and go to bed with the same squidgy excited feeling in my tummy. To spend Christmas with the faces of the people I love, and cherish them more as each wrinkle appears on their faces. Can I still pretend that it isn’t a dangerous world out there right now, that we are all safe and magic still exists, even if it is just for this one time of year?