5 yrs down the road i still don't know what i'm doing but my kids love me and thats all that counts

Friday, March 24, 2006

feeling hurt

i dont think my husband understands things too well, i havent had a break from the baby in weeks and his solution is i go to a friends house, well i dont want to cause i'd be in their way. everyone else is too busy to hang out with this housewife so i'm the last person anyone calls. even my own family doesnt call me.i'm sitting in my living room with the tv and lights off typing this trying not to cry i'm so upset and hurt. its been a while since i got out of the house to do anything. its been weeks since i saw my folks and my last trip out was blockbuster to end up sitting in the car with my husband cussing over the traffic.tonight he decided to mock me again after i've asked him not to do that anymore. its hurtful cause its disrespectful. he smacked my leg playing so i kicked him, i hit him in the rib and he smacked me again on the leg, so i went upstairs on my computer. he brings the baby up with him so i go back downstairs to my dark living room cause i'm hurting from this.he doesnt understand nor listen to my needs or wants....i put my own needs aside for him and the baby. i've been waiting for over a month to get new contacts or to even order them and he seems to forget that its a need as well as new glasses as mine are several years old.i think he has his wife and our childs mom mixed up forgetting that i'm more than a 24/7 caretaker and i have needs and desires. they dont seem to matter to him. he tells me i'm sexy and i dont believe him for these reasons cause he says it he doesnt show it.i just need a break a few hours without him and the baby at this rate i dont care if its just for coffee or to spend an hour with my mom i just need away before i get depressedtonight my word is asshole, opinions are like assholes everybody has one