April 2, 2001Sein LanguageThe Weekly Seinfeld E-mail Newsletter
And Internet Newsletter:Sein Language Online!
(For NON AOL Subscribers!)(Not this week)---------------------------------------If you have recieved this newsletter directly from Seinfeld10|at|aol.com, you are on the mailing list, to be removed, Click here, then click yes. To be added (If you are not already on) Click here, then click yes.------------------------------------Writers:

------------------------------------
NewsBy: IvyTOPI have a Mailing List...
All I send you is: upcoming episodes for the next 2 weeks.
(Great idea for those of you who are taping the show!)
To be added (If you are not already on) Click here, then click yes.

As many of you may know, yesterday was April Fools Day. Boy, did we get many of you! And I do mean many! Sorry to disappoint all of you who actually wanted the Friends newsletter. We aren't doing it!!! LOL. And no, Andy is not really Kramer, so you can stop e-mailing him as well.

Come on now..how long have you guys known me? Chris? All of us? Do you actually think we'd end this thing? It's been a looong time and we will never stop. We are all very dedicated.

We did get you guys good though...Didn't you guys see how badly messed up the newsletter was? LOL...Did you not recognize Chris Rock's stand up? LOL...again, we really fooled most of you. I've never pulled a April Fools joke on anymore before, but this was great! I wish you could all read the crazy e-mails we all got, haha.

Spongwrthie asked a question....
She wanted to know how this newsletter began.
Well... it all started with Seinfeld4|at|aol.com, who is now The Seinfeld Guy|at|aol.com (a.k.a. - Brandon). (Hi Brandon!). Well, I met him a loooong time ago. I think maybe in '97. Chris was writing a newsletter with someone else (Joe) and then left to write for Brandon. I'd always write to Brandon and tell him how great the newsletter was, but his spelling was horrible! And me, being a spell freak, lol...helped him, but I did not do any sections. I then met Chris (but wasn't too close with him). Brandon then asked if I wanted to write, I said sure. I started in March of '99. And it wasn't until Jan 4, 2000 when he asked me if I wanted to take over (b/c he was too busy). He knew I could handle it, and boy was he right! LOL...Well, it was Me and Chris (maybe one other, don't remember)...So, we've been writing since. Every week. I hope that answers your question.

Remember: Those who don't have AOL, can click:Sein Language Online!
(Not this week)Wishing you a happy b-day!Sein Language would like to wish YOU a Happy Birthday!
If you would like to receive a birthday greeting on your special day, please e-mail Seinfeld10|at|aol.com (or click here) with your first name and your b-day.If anyone has any news on Seinfeld or comments on the newsletter, we would love to hear them!

George's girlfriend is big on using the phrase "yada yada"; Jerry says at least she is succinct. Jerry's dentist just became Jewish and he is already making jokes that make Jerry uncomfortable. Kramer and Mickey double date but they can't decide which of the women is right for them. Elaine is a character reference for a couple who is trying to adopt; a story she tells during the interview destroys all hope of adoption. George drops by Jerry's dental appointment. Mickey and Kramer continue to fight over who gets Karen or Julie. George determines that his girlfriend might be leaving out some significant details with her overuse of the phrase "yada yada." He gets her to fill in the details and discovers more than he wants to know. Jerry confesses to a priest about what he thinks about Tim's conversion. George drops by Jerry's confession. Kramer decides on the right woman and Mickey also decides to make his a commitment. Tim hears about Jerry's dental joke. After hearing Jerry's complaints about Tim, Kramer accuses Jerry of being an "anti-dentite." Elaine lobbies on behalf of Beth and Arnie and makes a sacrifice to try getting them a child. Meanwhile, Beth comes to Jerry for help when her marriage is falling apart. It does and she accompanies Jerry to Mickey's wedding where she reveals an unknown side of her personality.------------------------------------Seinfeld Site Of The WeekIvy's Seinfeld Page
I thought I'd plug my site this week...I've been a good girl! :o)------------------------------------Sound Of The Week
By: ChrisTOP
Hey all! By the time your reading this I'll be enjoying myself down in Florida. Too bad I don't get to visit Ivy :). So, this week's sound, by request from AmyClem2|at|aol.com is Jerry talking about that terrific frozen yogurt.

PS. I'm sorry about the broken links in week's past, I have no idea why that happened, it worked fine on my computer. I'll try my best to fix that from now on.

Thanks all!!

What sound would you like to see featured?E-mailme and I'll try my best!--------------------------------------Sein Language's
"Top Ten!"Top Ten Break Ups

10) She does look a little like Jerry.
9) She eats her peas *one* at a time!
8) She had man hands.
7) He's bald!
6) My parents like her.
5) She's not really Chinese
4) She's in a mental institution
3) She wants me to get mad!
2) She went out with Newman!

and the number one breakup...

1) You don't know my name do you? Of course I do. What is it? It rhymes with a part of the female anatomy. What? Mulva?

This Week
Early on in the shows run, Jerry finds out that the mystery man thinks Jerry is a phony. Kramer wasn't supposed to tell Jerry but, he begged Kramer to tell. He interacts with George to when he won't give up his parking spot to George when he went in front first and George backed up. Later on in the series, Jerry meets him again but this time it is much worse. First Kramer bets $100 for Jerry on the Knicks game, then he can''t pay Jerry so he fixes Jerry's trunk. But by accident Jerry slams his thumbs and breaks them. Later he accidentally gets locked in the truck and hears Jerry and Elaine talking about how they killed Suzie. He later walking in on Suzie's "funeral" and says that it was Jerry who killed Suzie.
Do you know who this is? If so E-mailme with your answer!
Responses must be recieved by Friday, April 6h------------------------------------The Lucky Person is...MSimon6986 got interviewed this week!By:ChrisTOP

TheBrickWaugh: HiMark! Thanks for doing this Seinfeld interview! Let me start out by asking you why Seinfeld is such a great show to you?MSimon6986:I think Seinfeld is a greatshow because it is so true-to-life. I frequently have event shappen to me that remind me of things I saw in the show. I also like the way that the show explore the minutia ofevery day living in such a humorous manner.MSimon6986 : I also think the showaccurately portrays people in general- and shows the darkside to human nature as well as the lighter sideTheBrickWaugh: Wow,that's that's oneof the most intellectual answers I've ever heard! :-)MSimon6986:yes, hopefully i don't needelaine benes to take an IQ test for me...TheBrickWaugh: Forsure :-) So, Iheard you used to live in New York, while there didyou ever have a chance to see any famous Seinfeldsites ?MSimon6986: I went on theKramer RealityTour a few years ago, so I've been to a lot of them. I guess my favorite site would be the Shea Stadium parking lot (big mets fan), where the "Magic Loogie" was spit at Kramer (but not by Keith Hernandez)TheBrickWaugh: Haha,yeah I beleivethey cleared that up. Do you have a favorite Seinfeldmemory from over the years?MSimon6986:hmm...a "Seinfeld memory?"I have several moments from the show that I really liked (george telling the marine biologist story comes to mind) but one of my favorites has to be watching the finale with a group of friiends. we had Babka and Yoo Hoo, as well as a ceremonial tossing of the marble ryeTheBrickWaugh: Youhad a Seinfeldparty? Wow, that's awesome! What else did youdo there?MSimon6986:The one other thing we did was trivia- before you could eat the food, you had toanswer the trivia question dealing with that food itemMSimon6986: we also had muffin tops...MSimon6986: and i thinkthe trivia for thatone was- what was the name of the woman at the homelessshelter who rejected them?TheBrickWaugh: wow, the best thingwe had at our finale party was Jr. Mints and sprite and coke (which George swore was mixed together to make the Coffee shop's Ginger ale)MSimon6986:I remember I had to go to 2-3bakeries to find a babkaTheBrickWaugh: Yeah,I actuallylooked for some but couldn't find any. So, did youcatch Seinfeld on Letterman last week?MSimon6986:yep.TheBrickWaugh: Whatdid you think?MSimon6986:he looked weird with thathaircut. He had a few good lines, but it seemed like he was alittle rusty...kind of like a pro athlete having a first gameback from rehabTheBrickWaugh: :-)and I'm sure youwould know about that, mr. sportscaster. Whatwould you like to see Jerry or the rest of theSeinfeld crew get involved in now?MSimon6986:i think jason alexander will go on to do good things...he's got a lot of talents, so I could see him going into theatre if his TV show doesn't work out. Julia Louis-Dreyfuss has good comic ability- I think she should find another show with an ensemble cast. Michael Richards worries me because he's been in lots of bad stuff,who knows where he'll end up?
Of course, I'd have no objection to Jerry bringing back the show, or writing a sequel to SeinLanguage, but I get the feeling he'll end up in late night TVTheBrickWaugh: Yeah that andcommercials :-) Well Mark that's about all the time we have for today, do you anything else you would like to say to all the Seinfeld fans out there?MSimon6986:May I plug my seinfeldfanfic?TheBrickWaugh: Sure!Be my guestMSimon6986: I wrote twoscripts, just forfun, and a lot of people seem to like them. One is called "The Taxibomber" (http://members.aol.com/msimon6986/seinfeld.html), in which kramer thinks he hears a taxicab driver threaten to bomb jerry's building. The other one (http://members.aol.com/msimon6986/theend.html is my version of the finale- similar to the real one in many ways.TheBrickWaugh: Cool!I'm going tocheck those out right now! Thanks again for doingthis! Talk to you later :-)MSimon6986: Bye

**NOTE: If I have talked to you about doing an interview and we haven't worked out a time yet, please e-mail me at seinlang|at|home.com or look for me online AOL SN: SeinfeldLang. Thanks all!**What to be the next person to be interviewed?Send a e-mail to Chris------------------------------------TriviaBy:AndyTOP

HEY, DO YOU HAVE IDEAS FOR TRIVA QUESTIONS? SEND THEM TO ME!

LAST WEEKS TRIVIAPartly thanks to angelicx of WHQuestion (an e-mail subscription which sends questions on anything and everything to your mailbox)1. What does George believe to be the most sensual of the cured, salted meats?
Pastrami
2. Where is Elaine originally from? (Just the state is enough)
Baltimore, Maryland- My home town
3. In "The Dinner Party," Jerry & Elaine missed out on the chocolate babka. Before they discovered the cinnamon babka, they started throwing suggestions back and forth of what else to get. What was Jerry's suggestion?
Napoleon
4. How long did the exterminator have to seal up Jerry's apartment to kill the fleas?
48 hours- 2 days
5. In the finale, during the one-hour retrospective, there was a collection of scenes showing the characters dancing- and it was set to a specific song by Michael Jackson. What was that song?
Don't Stop Til you Get Enough

IMPOSSIBLE QUESTION
Thanks to dr_van_nostren_from_the_clinic|at|yahoo.com
What condition is jerry trying to avoid when he relieves himself in the mall parking garage?
Uromysitisis poisoning- Thanks to Ivy =)

THIS WEEKS TRIVIAThanks to ranonsen|at|yahoo.com1. WHat song did Kramer sing with Mel Torme at the AMCA benefit dinner?2. What does AMCA stand for?
3. What was the name of the man who ran into the woods and dug a hole and sat in it
anytime he got upset (who got Jerry the van)... I need a first and last name.
4. What was the one downside to the brown suede jacket that Jerry wore to dinner with
Elaine's father.
5. What's Elaine's father's full name?

IMPOSSIBLE QUESTIONThanks to KRDYLAN|at|aol.comWhat is the exterior color of David Puddy's car (that he lent to Elaine)?

Respondto the trivia by sending E-mail toAndyResponses must be recieved byFriday, April 6hRemember: you need to get ALL trivia right!
Don't just answer one, if you need help, e-mail me and I'll be more than happy as to give you hints.------------------------------------Celebrities on SeinfeldBy: Chris

This WeekMany presidents have been mentioned during Seinfeld, in fact a total of 14 presidents without mentioning Martin VanBurean. How many can you name? The one with the most might get a special surprise. :)

Send answers to: Chrisby Friday, April 6h------------------------------------Guess?By:AllieLast Week
What is "the tractor story?"

If anyone has any ideas to make this better or moments that they want "remembered," e-mail me.------------------------------------Reader's PollBy:AndyLast Week's Question:If you were George, what excuse would you use when you got caught eating an e-clair out of the trash. (Answer as if you were George; remember lying is an art to you, no, not an art vandelay)

Um, it was mine. It uh, fell. Um...Care for a bite?Seinfeld10|at|aol.com

What arguably looked like rummaging through trash in search of food, to the untrained eye, was in actuality, a safety precaution! Many people don't realize that discarded food can become infested with parasites, or even attract roaches and other bugs. I was merely testing your trash can for the degree and severity of your potential infestation problem."BFS07|at|aol.com

"I'm a diabetic, and i was getting dizzy! I NEEDED THAT SUGAR, BABY!!!"Creed5075|at|aol.com

IF I GOT CAUGHT EATING AN ECLAIR OUT OF THE TRASH, I'D SAY TO THE PERSON, "NO, WAIT, THIS WAS A DARE!! I JUST GOT DARED TO EAT THIS OUT OF THE TRASH FOR 100 BUCKS.....ASK HIM!!!!!"PierceMeAgain10|at|aol.com

there was a bug on it that had a disease that he was immune to and he had to eat it or it would rot the trash and whoever would take it out would dieZup999|at|aol.com

Uhm... I had it in my pocket.Shembee05|at|aol.com

I was going into a hypoglycemic fit and so I grabbed the first thing with sugar in it that I saw! It was a life or death situation!KelSpirit12|at|aol.com

I'm diabeticPqgrassa|at|aol.com

Garbage is a state of mind. It's not garbage if you believe it.Flutebug4|at|aol.com

Um, well Mrs. Enright, I couldn't let the e-clair go to waste. Not with all the starving kids in the world. Yes, I did it for the kids!!Feelalrite1|at|aol.com

This Week's Question:Ok, this question is designed in conjunction with this week's top ten list. Here it is: As we all know, Jerry and the gang came up with a about a million bizarro reasons for dumping their "significant others" (i.e. she had manhands, he's a regifter, she's a two-face, she's got the jimmy legs, etc.)... this week I want you to pick one of the four, and come up with a bizarro reasons for them to break up with their significant others... but, it has to be a reason that was never used in any show. If it is, then I can't accept it. You have to be original. Get as creative as you want. Anything goes. If it's even a personal experience you've had, feel free to use it, just make sure it's never been used before.

Note: The Seinfeld NL writers have the right to edit any poll responses that we do not feel are appropriate for the Newsletter.Do you know of a poll you would like seen on here?E-mail meand let me know!------------------------------------Did you know? Seinfacts!By:Allie
joe mayo, the guy who throws the parties and gives people jobs, is the name of an actual person in the credits. i couldnt see his job, though.
Thanks to Zup999|at|aol.com

Have a fact? Please e-mail me!------------------------------------Stand UpBy: ChrisTOP
Here's the thing on men, I'm gonna give it to you now. All men think of themselves as kind of low-level super-heroes... in their own environment. When men are growing up and they're reading about Batman, Spiderman, Superman, these aren't fantasies. These are options. This is the way men really look at their own lives. I'm not even supposed to be telling you this. I'll give you a perfect example of what I'm talking about, did you ever see a guy moving a mattress tied to the roof of his car. He's out on the highway with this thing (laughs), he's always got the arm out the window, holding the mattress too, right ? Whatever he's rigged up there, he's always helping along with the arm. This is classic male idiot super-hero thinking. This moron actually believes that if the wind catches this huge rectangle at 70 miles an hour, "I got it, I got it. Don't worry about it. I'm using my... arm !".------------------------------------Character Bios!By: Ivy
The Woman Behind Kristin Davis (Jenna- toothbrush in the toilet)...

That tooth brush might be more famous that any other in Colgate, Crest, or Aquafresh history; but Kristin Davis is probably known most memorably as the lovable yet naive Charlotte York on HBO's smash hit "Sex and the City." Her portrayal of this lovable loser in love is perhaps overshadowed by that of Sarah Jessica Parker's Carrie Bradshaw, but she has proven her acting abilities in other memorable TV and movie roles. Among these roles, she had a regular, year and a half stint on the former "Melrose Place" as the sexy yet mysterious and delusional Brooke Armstrong. Other TV roles include a short stint on General Hospital in 1991, guest roles in The Single Guy, ER, Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman, and The Larry Sanders Show. Her TV movie roles have included Alien Nation: Body & Soul, The Ultimate Lie, Murder in Mind, A Deadly Vision, Traveling Companion, Atomic Train, and a very memorable turn as the widowed ex-wife Annie Denver of the late country singer John Denver in "Take Me Home: The John Denver Story." Kristin has yet to find her niche on the big screen as yet but had a bit role in the comedy Nine Months with Hugh Grant and Robin Williams, and a role in the small films Sour Grapes and Blacktop. Kristin moved to Columbia, South Carolina, when her father, a psychology professor, transferred to the university there. She later attended Rutgers University, and upon graduation moved to New York, where she began working in classical and contemporary theater, as well as commercials. Before her arrival on "Melrose Place", Kristin and a friend opened a yoga studio. She still enjoys yoga in her free time, as well as spinning and running. She currently resides in Los Angeles (long-term) and New York (short-term, while filming Sex & City)... And as we all know, she highly values dental hygiene. That's all he wrote folks.

Thanks to Andy

Is there someone you would like to know more about? Please e-mail me.------------------------------------"Quote" FinisherBy:AndyLast Week"You're telling me wine is better than pepsi..."

Answer
"...<snorts> no way wine is better than pepsi. (By George, I think he's right in "The Dinner Party" that they never got to).WinnersXpoc50000|at|aol.com
PoetAl Orlando|at|aol.com
Shembee05|at|aol.com
XoXNoSoup4uXoX|at|aol.com
Pqgrassa|at|aol.comThis Week
"But I did; my boyfriend said I got gonorrhea from...NOTE: Remember that above all, I'm looking for the quote to be finished- which means that only one person is speaking a line, and you have to finish that line; If someone else says something in response to that line, that's not what I'm looking for, I'm just looking for the quote to be finished, not answered. Then if you can tell me who said it and what episode it came from, that would be nice too. GOOD LUCK!Send answers to:Andyby Friday, April 6h-----------------------------------GamesBy: ChrisTOPLast WeekPoem time!

I want you to write a poem.
We'll keep it with the George theme this week
In the poem, make sure you have these words:

Opposite
Shrinkage
Cheap
Stocky
Twix

Make it as silly as you can.
All will win!

ResponsesGeorge is a stocky man
George has a sixth sense of being cheap
George was embarrassed when a girl saw some shrinkage
George likes Twix
George did the opposite and became successful
George in the end was not successful

A lot of people pity George -- Pqgrassa|at|aol.com
The New Me, by George Castanza
If I, George Castanza, could make a new me,
I tell you, how different this George would be.
He wouldn't be lonely, stocky or bald.
He would not snort when he laughed, no problems at all
He would be in shape, no more twixes for him.
He wouldn't get shrinkage after a swim.
This whole new George would be the opposite of me.
And this whole new George would be happy and free. --Blink182Angel182|at|aol.com

There once was a boy named Costanza
Who's parents would utter "can't stand ya!"
He was stocky and cheap
Liked to have sex and eat
Not much more liked than Bania

He grew up despite his allegiance
to always be comfortable, well fed and ignorant
Thank goodness for Jerry
Opposites? hmmm quite contrary
Just give him a Twix and forget it -- YaadahYada|at|aol.com

There once was a man who always did the opposite,
He was cheap, stocky, and full of wit,
'Till one day he was shortchanged,
Shrinkage, I'm afraid,
deprived of his Twix, he shouted out - "Aww, to Hell with It." --BFS07|at|aol.com
George Louis Costanza, what a crazy name,
Ended up on a frogger machine, for which I had the high game.
I'm so cheap I bought a sweater with a red dot,
Because it's such an art to me, I like to lie a lot.
Like when I came out of the pool, and my bad boys were small
I blamed it on shrinkage, every man's downfall.
Nobody bought it, not even for a split second,
Except when I did the opposite of everything, and I was truly in heaven.
I landed a plum job which I eventually lost,
But not the way I wanted, I lied again and got tossed.
So I lost my job, lost my mind
Lost all of my will to be kind.
Lost my twix bar to a big burly oaf,
Oh how I wanted to shove my first down his big ugly throat.
But he screwed me again, like everyone I know.
I'm just a short, stocky bald man, and now I'm gonna go. --JohnTrvlt1|at|aol.com

This WeekOk, one more poem, but this time I want you to use break ups.
Think of the best 3 to 5 break ups mentioned on the show and use them in a poem.

George - Faking a handicapTerms & PhrasesBig Salad (Taking Credit for a) - when a person hands another person a large salad, and takes credit for getting that person a salad, when in reality the person handing over the salad never actually paid for it (someone else did)-----------------------------------Food TriviaBy: AndyTOPLast WeekWhat was the first type of meat that Kramer used in his slicer in "The Slicer?"

AnswerTurkey ("that's all surface area, the taste has nowhere to hide.")

WinnersShembee05|at|aol.comThis WeekWhere are the Macinaw peaches from?
Just the state is enough for me.

Send Food Answers to: Andyby Friday, April 6hPlease - no descriptions (if asked the name of an episode).
Send me the episode title.
Here's an episode guide that may help (Episode List)Thanks!------------------------------------Spoofs!TOPIn an episode last week, jerry calls kramer and george both on a two line phone, but then on another episode taped after that one, kramer gives Jerry a faulty two line phone for his birthday.
Thanks to Blink182Angel182|at|aol.comKnow of a spoof, any mistake you found on Seinfeld?
Please e-mail them to anyone of us, thanks!

"So, Whatley's still Jewish"? - Elaine
"Without the parents it's a breeze." - JerryFrom the Fans
"Saddle up and ride." - Kramer (from Willie529|at|aol.com)
Send in your quotes! Click here.Last Week
"Want me, love me, shower me with kisses."
Who said this?Answer
It's Sylvio- the building super.WinnersLauLiPoP 114885|at|aol.comShembee05|at|aol.comXoXNoSoup4uXoX |at|aol.comCMorri419|at|aol.comSeinfeld10|at|aol.comThis Week
"What's my problem? Punks like you, that's my problem. And you better not screw up again Seinfeld, because if you do, I'll be all over you like a pit bull on a poodle."

Have a Seinfeld Page?Submit it to Sein Language, the weekly Seinfeld newsletter!------------------------------------Do you have any ideas to make this newsletter better and fresher? A new section, maybe? A contest, perhaps? A weekly chat? A new design or page layout? Anything! E-mail it to me atSeinfeld10|at|aol.com------------------------------------That's a wrap for this week's issue of Sein Language. Don't hog the newsletter all to yourself, you're a very greedy person you know. You need to share with other people and force them to subscribe. As always if you want to send any of our writers a good word, do contribute to the newsletter in anyway with ideas or trivia questions, or heaven forbid, report an error, etc. We'd be more than happy to get your letters!IvyChrisVinneyAllieAndy