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Monday, December 16, 2013

Musings Before FET #2

Wally:

My sweet puppy is three months old. He is everything I thought a little boy would be: cute, curious and goofy:-) He is tiring us all out, but he's also helping us get skinny. I squeezed my super-sized behind into my pre-infertility-treatment jeans the other day. Even though they were tight enough to cause a yeast infection, I wore them---PROUDLY. A few months ago, they wouldn't go over my hips. Ok...back to Wally. He knows sit, wait, down, touch and come, although at times, he pretends he doesn't.

He can't go to the park yet, because he still has one more round of shots to complete. Meantime, my sweet girl Roxie is playing with him as much as she can, but he's even zapping her of energy:-) It sure is fun to see my girl happy again.

Now on to the real issue: we've had this dog for four weeks. We love him, feed him and train him. My father-in-law walks in the door a couple of days ago, and Wally acts like the hubby and I are the most lame people on the entire Earth. WTF? Where is the loyalty, Wally?

FET:
I'm all crampy. My uterus is firing warning shots. She's giving me the mild cramps that normally signal the start of my period. I'm thinking this isn't the best environment for TL and possibly C. I didn't have these cramps/sensations during the last FET. Wondering why? I did acupuncture last time. Maybe it was more effective than I thought.

I kind of want to bail or push this thing (FET) back to the original day of Friday, instead of tomorrow. The Hubby vetoed that. Ugh!

I am trying to remain detached from this whole thing, but I am so scared and sad for the embryos. I let them down. I should have tried harder to give them a real chance. It's just so difficult to put so much work into something that has such a little chance of working. Ultimately, that's a lame excuse. *sigh*

I didn't tell anyone about this transfer. No one knows. My Mom knows something is up. She was on standby to give me an estrogen shot, if my flight out of Illinois left late due to weather delays.
However, she likely thinks it was for some kind of testing---at least that's what I'm telling myself.

This is just going to drive me nuts. Where's the wine. I need a big gulp.

Work:

I had been having such a hard time there before vacation that I'm deathly afraid to return.

Family:

I had the best visit ever with my parents. There was one hiccup. I tried to watch Scandal at my grandmother's house, and she talked through the entire episode. Then my dad made us leave before it ended. Luckily, my mother DVR'd the show. She saved the day!