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Choices and Acceptance

We all make choices everyday, and that's what makes us human. Sometimes we make choices consciously (which major to pursue, who do we want to choose for our partner) and sometimes we just unknowingly make decision (we choose the nearest food, suddenly falling in love). I don't know if animals make conscious decision though, but that is for another day.

So today I just met my mentor from my degree years, Dr Sakhinah. I'm truly happy that even after I have graduated, it is easy for me to talk to her and she is always willing to listen and give her opinions on my troubles. I have hard choices on a few things right now, so listening to her opinion make it easier for me to believe in my choices. She even praised me for my ability to make choices, instead of just running away (though I have been running away up until now, I know I shouldn't drag it anymore).

I have a friend who is currently having a hard time deciding whether he wants to quit his degree or not. Every semester he made promises, to finish his degree properly, to attend classes, go to exams and so on. But after around four years, he is still stuck in the same place. He is still with his cycle of promising and breaking his promises. I think it is all because he couldn't truly decide what he wants to do. Well other circumstances kept him from quitting, but I think if he truly wants it then he can work hard to quit and so something that he can feels better about himself. But he still decides to continue, and couldn't make himself more motivated to finish his degree. I hope the best for him, but I really think he needs to be firm with his decision.

I have a friend whom her boyfriend kept her hanging. The guy asked to end the relationship, but then he still contacted her after their breakup. That friend of mine, she couldn't move on with the guy since she loves her so much. But this guy making it worse for her since he still want to be there but just couldn't make up his mind whether he still wants her or not. It's a mental abuse at some level. He was the one who asked for breakup but still he wants to keep in touch with her directly after the break, so of course that friend of mine is confused. I believe she had thoughts like "Does he still loves me?", "what does he want from me?". "should I still keep on hoping?". Giving false hope like this should be a crime. So in the end, my friend took a bit of a courage to ask him properly to end their relationship, no more contacting each other and let both of them move on from each other. Now she is happily married to a guy who treat her better.

We will never know if our decisions are right or wrong. But at least it is better than not making any decision.

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Comments

though we have lots of outside/3rd party influences in making decision, in the end we're the one making the decision and the consequences that comes from that decision is our responsibility. it's our life after all

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