2.20.2013

Bacon Scented Hand Sanitizer "PorkKleen" Is A Real Product

PorkKleen is the name of the top selling brand of bacon hand sanitizer out there right now. You
have to guess that serious bacon fanatics who love the smell of bacon
enough to want it all over their hands would just grab bacon slices and
rub it all over themselves while completely ignoring hygiene, but
apparently there is a market for people who want their hands to smell
like bacon and be germ free at the same time. Those two concepts don't
really mix. That's like a celibate person purposely trying to make their
genitals smell like Gonorrhea. If Gonorrhea was a pleasant smell, which
it is to some...

I think a key thing to note about this product is they
don't mention whether or not it makes your hands smell like raw bacon
or cooked bacon. Why do we automatically assume when someone says
"bacon" they mean cooked bacon? Imagine if it smells like raw uncooked
pork. Technically they're not lying, but that's something most people
can agree is disgusting. Oh and good luck trying to convince the people
you just shook hands with that you didn't just molest a pig and give
them the disease that killed everybody in the movie "Contagion".