Thursday, March 14, 2013

contentment

It has always been a pet peeve of mine when people decide to post vague facebook
posts about saying "uggh. i hate this..." "i don't know what to do..." or "this is terrible..."
(please take note of the dot dot dots. ha!) they just annoy me because they can sometimes
come across as over dramatic. i have decided to go in the opposite direction.
i will write an entire blog post about how i'm feeling right now. so, you may
consider this your fair warning:)

There are some days when i'm okay with being in Massachusetts and there are
certainly those days when i just want to be back in Virginia. i want to be in an
area where i'm familiar with where things are, i want to be with Erik on his break
and feel that it is entirely unfair that i feel like all i ever see on facebook, instagram
twitter are pictures of happy couples being all lovey dovey. or couples complaining
about how it's too hard to "go a whole week without seeing my baby, blah blah."
it annoys me. to no end. hello! i'm over here hundreds and hundreds of miles away
from my man and i see him MAYBE once every 3 or 4 months and as it stands right
now, i don't know when i'll be with him again. I have days when i can take everything
in stride and just let it all play out without tripping me up and those where every little
things irritates me. those "good" days can be summed up with the word contentment
and the bad ones, you guessed it, discontentment.

Today i woke up tired. i woke up sick--again. i woke up discouraged. i woke up
frusterated. I chose discontentment. that was a mistake! I was having some Jesus time
this morning and i came across a statement..."i am in charge of how i feel and today i am
choosing to be content." That is my choice today. to be content no matter what or how i feel.