Thursday, February 18, 2010

Joe "Stimulus" Biden says:

If you picked up USA Today yesterday, you couldn’t miss Joey Biden. Right there. Next to the editorial. What was that? Real Talk. I was everywhere. Joe Biden stimulus day. CBS, on the internet. Everywhere you turned. Standing next to the president. Ash Wednesday. Who Dat. Who Dat. Joe Biden. That’s who. White House was thinking about sending Larry Summers or Peter Orzag. But these guys can’t reach across the kitchen table and connect with a working mom trying to put together a shopping list. She’s asking herself: “Do we have enough to buy the extra large brown eggs? I really wish I could get little Timmy those fruit roll ups.” Who is she gonna trust? Mr. Harvard University? Nope. We needed a shakeup, a Wild Card. So we got ourselves a new point man. Ladies and Gentleman, I present to you, Mr. Real Talk. See what I did. Changed the conversation. You heard of game change. Well this is Talk Change. I told real Americans about what they got from the stimulus. Did you get a paycheck last year? Well then you got a piece of stimulus. Did you not get a paycheck last year, then we gave you a piece of unemployment stimulus. They don’t need some poindexter tellin’ them this or that about the GDP. I myself don’t understand these things and I’m the vice president. I’ll be honest with you, Bad Rachel, I made up 80 percent of that editorial. Summers was screaming: “Joey. You can’t write that. It’s nonsense. It’s not true.” I put my arm around him and I said, “The American people need real talk now more than ever.” That’s what I gave ‘em. That’s what I’m gonna keep on giving ‘em. Talk Change.