Glee 5.18 Recap – Hello, Dolloway!

Tonight on Glee: Rachel doesn’t know how to be an adult and continues to be rewarded for it, Blaine has a sugar mama who I simultaneously love and hate, and oh my god there are only three episodes left this season. Also I can’t stop laughing at the header image above, both for the looks on everyone’s faces (where is her hand exactly, to shock Kurt like that?) and the fact that the team who makes the Glee promo images still hasn’t been fired.

Funny Girl has been running for three weeks, so of course Rachel thinks she’s the hottest thing on the planet. She signed with a bigtime talent agency, and one of the agents tells her she shouldn’t plan on movies or TV (the old face for radio argument) but should plan on being in Funny Girl basically forever.

Kurt tells Blaine that June Dolloway – a famous socialite – is getting honored at NYADA and he was picked for the ceremony performance; and he wants Blaine to sing “Story of My Life” with him because they’re a team and should share when good things happen to them. Who are you and what have you done with the Kurt Hummel of the past few weeks?

Mercedes is having trouble with her record deal and wants Santana to sing with her in hopes of them finding magic like they did back in high school. I’d listen to those two sing the phone book, so I 100% agree with Mercy here.

Rachel sings the most emo version of “Wake Me Up” ever over a montage of how tedious she finds BEING A BROADWAY STAR. It must be so hard, Rachel, to have achieved your dream at 19 and be forced to star in a coveted role in a popular show. It’s only been a month, for god’s sake, get your act together and grow up.

While she sits in the dressing room being emo, a Fox exec shows up and proclaims himself a big fan before offering her a pilot audition and convincing her to leave the show to her understudy to fly to LA. Yeah, this is probably a good idea; “left first Broadway role after a month” looks great on the ol’ resume. I don’t understand what they’re doing to Rachel here; everything about her behavior surrounding this role is completely inexplicable, from skipping out on an official cast party (usually mandatory for the sake of press) to her sudden willingness to eschew the show for the uncertainty of a TV pilot. This is not the Rachel Berry we were introduced to in season one, and I want her back.

She tells Sidney that, for the sake of not getting sick, she thinks she should take a show off, but he’s not having it. “You are the show,” he says. This is what you’ve always wanted, Rachel, deal with it.

I’m so over and done with Rachel Berry. You have Shirley MacLaine in an episode and you still focus the majority of the episode on that unappreciative girl? Such bull.

Chris Colfer and Darren Criss once again prove why they’re the best parts of this show – their voices were made to duet. I felt sorry for Kurt for sure, but it’s nice to see Blaine getting an actual story line that doesn’t revolve around insecurities or Sam (blessed be he was no where to be found last night) but as per usual on this show, unless you’re Rachel you can’t have a happy relationship and success at the same time. Cue the inevitable, predictable drama.

Darren and Shirley were fantastic together though. You could easily tell he was genuinely awe inspired by her and I can’t wait to see them on screen together again.

On a side note: Darren does look freakishly similar to Montgomery Clift.