Mentoring is NOT Parenting

Coaching and mentoring are the new
way of saying trades and apprenticeships for those industries that used to use
clerks. That period of “junior internship” type of arrangement that is less
practical and prevalent than it used to be.

Instead now we have many coaches
and mentors, most of who are leveraging their experience in order to support
and nurture a new and emerging wildcard to the industry – the rise of the
indie.

The phenomena of self-publishing
has created some monsters that feed off the innocent and new, but has also led to
the ability to access some true industry greats and learn from the leaders.

What is missing in many of these
areas is the commercial aspects (corporate, industrial and even retail skills
are all relevant here) of running a professional business. For people who have not had that experience
before and, generally speaking when one is of a creative nature, they have
never been exposed to that kind of knowledge, never had the chance to learn
those kinds of skills. What is risk
management to an author? The answers
should concern you.

So here is a list of what mentoring
is and isn’t. If you are in the market
for a mentor – keep in mind that you want them to have their own success, not
feel they need to patronise you with promise of your future success, be
genuinely interested in your future success, and not at all busy talking about
their own success when they are with you.
Just a few hints to help narrow down the wide market availability of
those who would soon part you from your hard earned investment.

So mentoring…

It’s not telling you what to do

It’s not being upset when you don’t take action

It’s not showing you the ‘right’ way of doing things

It’s not taking care of you or your mental health by replacing any kind of medication or physician/specialist advise (and if they do – run – they are dangerous and unqualified)

It’s not counselling

It’s not training, but it can have some of those elements

It’s someone sitting down, calling you on the excuses you might be telling yourself on why you can’t do anything about where you are in life, communicating those challenges and options professional and without self-interest, and in such a way that you ‘get’ it, not just get told it.

It’s knowing that if you don’t want change, don’t go looking for it. It’s knowing that if you go looking for change, you need to do the work once you find it, and change too.

It’s someone who shows you all the cock-ups they made, all the opportunities they failed to take advantage of, the ones they did take advantage of, and how they achieved the success they did, without telling you to do the same exact thing

It’s showing you the process of how success happens, in which you get out of your own way, changing your mindset to what’s possible instead of what you don’t want, and by sharing the lessons and ideas of performance excellence as applied to your success measures

It’s about support not about ‘help’, you have to do the work

It’s about knowledge combined with experience applied to your circumstances

It’s about getting the best out of your skill, knowledge experience and own personal power to achieve success in life, whatever that looks like for you

It’s about being really clear that you’re worth it and you can earn it

It’s about action. Making plans, setting goals getting clear on what you want, and action.

IT’S ABOUT YOU.

It’s still not parenting.

Becky Paroz doesn’t fit in. She has worked for nearly 30 years in the construction industry, taking names and making one for herself. She loves her workboots, colours her hair purple and speaks loudly with a strong and confident voice. Bek makes her place in the world, she has never waited for a space to open for her. Moving beyond mentoring within industry for the last 10 years, Becky is now seeking her tribe to connect within and would love to hear from any fellow mavericks and nonconformists out there at any of her social media spots which you can find here