Category: life

A few blog posts ago I wrote about how life was like a road and to some extent it is.

If life is a road – albeit a non-linear road but a road nonetheless – then we are faced with three options: stay still, go back or keep moving forward.

A road can lead to another road and another road and inevitably lead to the destination. The destination with any journey is different for every person though, arguably, the journey is the most important aspect.

Staying Still

I said that staying still leads to the possibility of not developing, but can this actually be the opposite? Staying still allows for reflection and on a journey to a goal, self-reflection and self-assessment can be a key ingredient.

Three questions that should be asked: what? So what? And, now what?

Developed by John Driscoll asking these questions can help a person make a decision about a goal if they have any worries.

What?

Asking whatcan allow a person to think about their decision. This could be: why am I down this path? Is this the right thing for me? These questions and others like them can be used in a reflective context to help a person see why and how they are on this journey.

So what?

Analyzing the event or even process can help in two ways: re-evaluating the decision to help you understand why you are where you are. This is true if you are in a place where you have doubts. You can secondly re-live. Was there something that happened which held you back? Was their a decision you made that could have been negative when you thought is was a positive one? How can these be turned around? So what is important in so many ways. It is the start of putting your ideas into place to get back on track. It is the beginning of a path to help you continue on your journey

Now what?

Can be a difficult question. When you have thought of the event or decision and analysed it, what is next? Next is go on. Next is use what you know and what you didn’t know to not make the same mistake/s twice.

Going Back

Going back can be attractive to someone especially if they have lost their way. The thought of starting again, almost setting the reset button can make a person feel better. A mind frame that has often baffled me is this notion of someone saying ‘I am going back to the old me’. By pretending they are: ‘going back to the old me’ often implies they have made some kind of mistake. By going back to this old version, a person will believe that they can possibly escape mistake and failure by re-visiting a more successful version of themselves. The question that should be asked is: was this version actually successful? Just because we have a view that by re-visiting a person who we deemed successful doesn’t mean it was.

Going back can prevent as many unknowns as going forward but relatively cannot be unchanged.

The past cannot be changed. The future is in your power – Unknown

It is best to leave the past in the past; walking down it can be dangerous, though it is ok to glance at it from time to time. Don’t concentrate on who you were especially if you feel lost or struggling. Concerntrate on who you are and who you could be. Moving forward is the key to success. The good times were good and going forward can create more good times.

Going Forward

If you do not step forward, you will always be in the same place – unknown

Often moving forward seems simple – plot a target or path and go towards it – and it is!

What actually is the most difficult and as Erin Pavilina says her blog The Importance of letting Gois the ‘anchor’ everyone holds on to. Everyone holds on to something in the past and this deters them from going forward. She actually then goes on to say that the past is the past and we should let it go. This is true. Letting go of any anchored past will allow for change. This will give a clear mind and conscience to help tackle any problems that will come from the unknown path ahead. The past is never going to change but it can repeat itself.

The future that has not happened yet, but compared to the past it is something that we can change. Using the past can give the foresight needed to walk into the unknown. This can be from learning from mistakes to prevent us from doing them again or to help us build ourselves up.

The road to the end is difficult but nothing in life is easy. If it was easy then it wouldn’t be worth striving for. Staying still can help with reflection, but staying still to long can lead to others around advance. They will then be at the end of their journey while you are stuck in the same place. Going back is dangerous as there will be no progress made. Letting go of the anchor of the past is beneficial. The future is scary but that is exciting. It can be, but it is up to you. It is up to you to see how far down the road you go and if you make it to your destination.

Ever had those moments when you don’t know what you’re doing in life?
This is one of those moments for me. I started this blog in January to make myself more creative. In the beginning it was just that. I had a wave of fulfilment in life and felt disciplined again. This platform made me feel like I was going somewhere and doing something.

Now, I have hit a fork in the road. What was something which I was going to post about weekly has turned into every other week.

So what has happened? In the beginning I didn’t know. I had ideas and ideas but I didn’t write about them. I had challenges that I was going to set myself to complete and write about. I have written and deleted a few posts I have not been happy with.

Is it writers block or is it much more?

I have often mocked ‘creaters’ or writers who appear to be having an existential crisis with writing or creating yet appear to be in that category.

So what now?

I think the problem is that maybe I don’t believe what I am writing is good enough. Or, maybe I lack a subject or topic to write about.

Should I do continue to write every week? Or should I write when I have something to talk about or say?

One thing I battle with on a daily basis is is the dreaded P word: procrastination.

Procrastination is the bane of my existence like I am sure it is for many people. I will often get waves of productivity where I will makes a list of things to do. Then, when it comes to completing this list – I put it off. I will often make excuses. I’ll will tell myself: ‘I will do it tomorrow’, ‘I’ll do it in an hour’ or the ever classic ‘I’ll do it it a minute’. Even at the time of writing this blog post I have put off doing it for three hours.

The thing is procrastistation I see is a battle. It is the thing on my mind all the time. Unless I really invest my time by burying my head into what I need to, I will procrastinate.

But is procrastination a bad thing? Or is it your subconscious telling you to put off the stuff that doesn’t matter and to do the things that do matter?

Actually if you procrastinate by putting off a project or piece of work, the pressure can motivate you to do well. On the other hand, it doesn’t work for everyone. It also will create more work to-do in a time space where more time is necessary.

More featuring cons of procrastination is anxiety and disorganisation which can lead to a project or work not being the best. Thus setting the procrastinator to fail.

To no procrastinate we have to discipline ourselves, set deadlines and stick to them. My deadline for a blog usually is to start on a Monday and finish by a Thursday. Sometimes this may not be the case. From me I should be on Blog #11 by now but haven’t due to procrastination. I often think I write a blog post to procrastinate!

So whatever makes you procrastinate look it in the face and go to war with it. Defeat it and progress.

There is a massive chance that you have social media, have had social media or if you don’t, you have heard of social media. It is hard these days to not look at other social media users and be jealous. If I look at Instagram I often look at the people I follow and wonder how I get their life. Some people are posting pictures of exotic places, the fancy food they eat and even make people jealous at how “easy” it is to be the perfect parent.

The jealousy is normal as it is not unnatural to want better and to strive for better. Having it in your face and at the click of a button doesn’t help. It is not hard to open a search engine and to begin researching the effects on social media presence of others have on other people. It can also cause others to get in debt to live the perfect life.

So why do people do it?

The image we have of ourselves is a contributing factor. If we live a life that isn’t luxurious then an escape is social media. We can edit, change and make ourselves look better then what we are.

An image or a video only shows a fraction of our lives. Behind the camera can be a team or entire crew who edit the image to look a certain way. People want to look like they are fulfilled in their lives and they want to look successful.

The question we need to ask is why do we need to lie to ourselves? Pictures of us dressed up, smiling with a drink in hand is a famous picture. It invites people to look at you and like it. It glamourises us and in some cases gives us satisfaction when we get compliments.

Arguably those with low confidence can get confidence and happy if they are unhappy with their lives. But it isn’t right. People who are conscience about social media will be aware of what they are posting. I once was in a relationship with a girl who wouldn’t wear the same outfit twice as she didn’t want all the pictures on her Facebook to be of her in the same outfit. This encouraged her to buy more clothes or change her outfits. Pictures were also consolidated with friends and words like ‘Don’t put that one on Facebook’ or ‘ That makes me look fat’ were said to friends. This -despite me thinking their was nothing wrong with her – was for keeping up appearances online. An is an issue of importance for some people.

All about the likes

There are two types of likes in my opinion:

The like like

These are the likes where people will actually look at the picture and they will like it because they can relate to the content and genuinely like it. These likes are why we put pictures and videos online. We do it to gratify ourselves and these likes make us feel better about ourselves and give us the motivation to post content online.

The scrolling like

This is the like where a person will just be casualling scrolling on a social media, come across a picture or video and like it. They like it because they like picture and that’s that. It doesn’t mean anything to them its just a nice picture. As with art; it is open to interpretation. Some like the picture because it speaks to them and some like it because it looks nice.

Now until all social media can identify the ‘likes likes’ and ‘the scrolling likes’, it will be hard for those who put effort and soul to distinguish who likes their media and why.

Then again we could share pictures and videos online not for the likes but to share our experiences and lives. Who really wants to look at a staged and edited picture right?

Welcome to one of a few segments that I am introducing to my blog ‘what grinds my gears’. This will be a mini-blog where I rant about everyday life and hopefully you the reader will feel my frustrations as well.

People in their entirety really annoy me sometimes – like really frustrate me. What annoys me is people in everyday life.

Picture the scene. It is a lovely day and you are with a friend, girlfriend, partner etc. You feel hungry and you pick a nice place to eat. You go to this restaurant and there are people in front of you also walking to go into this restaurant. Now, let’s assume that this restaurant is a place where you can walk in, sit down and order your food. The people in front of you walk through the door and just as the smell of the food, the sizzle from the kitchen excites your ears and your mouth waters for that nice cold refreshing beer – stop! The people in front of you just stop a few short feet from the door and then, just stay there.

Why do people do this? Do they expect no one to be behind them or to come through the door. If you are unsure about a place don’t stop at the door. Go in, prentend to be interested (away from the door) and then walk out. Everything will be much better that way. If you’re also British like me then you won’t say anything to these people you will just wait for them to push past you and then complain about it later. This also works for other places and not just restaurants. The biggest place people do this that grinds my gears is small doorways.

So, my message to people who walk through a door and stop right in front of the door: don’t do it!