TALE OF THE TAPE

Jim Harbaugh might be a maniac. He always looks angry, his voice never seems to go below 250 decibels and…he seems to wear the same pants every day. That’s probably because he does. Or, the same style, anyway.

Turns out, Jim Harbaugh apparently has an addiction to $8 Walmart khakis – what a delightful scandal! His addiction is so noteworthy that the 49ers store is actually selling a pair of his authentic game-worn pants. Which is…a little weird. But what’s more understandable – purchasing a pair of Harbaugh’s pants, or buying some of the other grossest, weirdest things in celebrity history? Let’s go to the tape:

Jim Harbaugh's Pants

Other Celebrity Things

(credit: Wesley Hitt/Getty Images)

(credit: Mark Mainz/Getty Images)

VS. Britney Spears’ Gum

Such as - how to put this delicately? - did Harbaugh sweat in these pants? Have these been washed? This raises all sorts of questions about Jim Harbaugh’s underwear hygiene that I don’t want to consider.

Winner
It’s gross because it’s chewed gum (which sold for $14,000!). I don’t care whose mouth it was in. That said, in the grand scheme of things, there are grosser things than, you know, saliva and such.

VS. Justin Timberlake’s Breakfast

Winner
...and nothing that weird.

After an interview in 2000, Justin Timberlake left two pieces of French toast untouched. They sold on eBay for over $1,000. The winning bidder said she would “...probably freeze dry it...then put it on my dresser.” Ew ew ew EW EW!

VS. Elvis’ Hair

Winner
…

Collecting hair might be the creepiest thing in the history of the world. And even if it’s Elvis’ hair, any sympathy I might have once had went out the window during research, because it forced me to read about the man who authenticated it. A man who lives in Connecticut who does nothing but collect samples of - and authenticate - celebrity hair. (!!!)

VS. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s Exhaled Air

Winner
...I mean, at least you can see, feel, and wear pants.

Oh my God I can’t handle this country. People bought this for $529. How...how did people get their hands on this? Did they sneak up and just put a mason jar in front of both actors when they happened to have their eyes closed?

VS. Jerry Garcia’s Toilet

Winner
Yep. Pants wins. We’re done here.

I can’t. It sold for over $2,000. You guys I can’t.

The Winner Is

WinnerJim Harbaugh's Pants

4 out of 5

With a score of 4-1, I’m ashamed to say that a pre-worn pair of pants is not one of the weirdest things you can buy. Way to go, America.
-Brian Cullen, CBS Local Sports contributor

So much for the weak Pac-12 this year: The Utah Utes are one of three teams from the beleaguered conference to make the Sweet 16 this year, and they’ll face the best ACC team left in the tournament: Duke.