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My younger brother's College Farewell Tour made a stop in the Windy City this weekend to partake in Chicago's Saint Patrick's Day celebration. The familiar hiss and subsequent crack of a newly opened can of beer sounded from my living room very shortly after his Friday afternoon arrival, thus spurring the following conversation.

Me: "I think it's a little early for that, Bry."

Bryan (taking a sip): "We gotta face our fears."

Me: "I'm not sure what you mean by that."

Bryan (taking a sip): "We have to test the waters."

Me: "That doesn't seem applicable to this situat..."

Bryan (taking a sip): "A little give and take."

Me: "No, Bryan, that's not…"

Bryan (taking a sip): "Damned if you do and damned if you don't."

Me: "I still don't see how that appl…"

Bryan (taking a sip): "The buck stops here."

Me: "That isn't…"

Bryan (taking a sip): "There's no "I" in team."

Me: "It sounds like you memorized a list of clichés to stop me from criticizing your dri…"

Bryan (taking a sip): "Dare to dream."

Me: "Okay, now you're just being ridic…"

Bryan (taking a sip): "Keep your chin up."

Me: "Seriou…"

Bryan (taking a sip): "Here's mud in your eye."

Me: "You're being…"

Bryan (taking a sip): "Naked as a jaybird."

Me: "Give me a break…"

Bryan (taking a sip): "…a leg."

Me: "You need to stop…"

Bryan (taking a sip): "…on a dime."

Me: "Quit…"

Bryan (taking a sip): "…while you're ahead."

Me: "Are you done now?"

Bryan (burping): "Actually, I am. Can you grab me another one out of the fridge, please?"