Do you do loans?

BE: Certainly, there’s some reading material to help you decide or I’ll happily talk you through the options.

Customer: Just surprise me.

BE: Er, why don’t you tell me what kind of thing you’re after?

Customer: Anything, give me your favourite.

BE: I don’t think you’d like my favourite, it’s very specific to me.

Customer: Whatever, just give me the best one. Put extra in it, yeah?

Some time passes as the bank employee does what ever it is a bank employee does to produce a contract. I presume computers are involved.

BE: Here you go, one loan.

Customer: That’s terrible, I don’t like that at all. You are awful at your job. Who would want this loan? You have ruined my life.

– ENTER SCENE: Elderly and wise looking man faces camera –

David Attenborough: Here we have a scene that would seem, so stupendous, to defy all logic. However, if we switch out the word “Bank” and “Loan” for “Bar” and “Cocktail” respectively, the situation is more common than you’d expect. The human species has been known to attend what they call a “cocktail bar” in an attempt to find a mate. Unbeknownst to them If they were to behave like the individual above…