It took a good 30 minutes...

I've been studying with a good friend of mine until 2 am for an exam late this week and we were taking a break, talking about random topics when it finally came to sex, relationships, etc. Then I decided to simply tell her that I was gay, since I've recently started to tell my other friends. Long story short, it took her a good 30 minutes to actually believe it even when I was telling it to her seriously (she started laughing). Funny thing is after that point I started to try to tell her while laughing as well, and she still wouldn't believe me. I thought the whole thing was hilarious though... especially the fact that it took her so long to finally believe me. (she'd even stop midway studying, look at me and ask "are you serious?" several times )

Apparently, she said she couldn't believe it because she couldn't stereotype me (in an effeminate way) since I act straight (out of normal character) and nothing I do indicates that I'm gay.Heck, I thought that since I turned down 2 girls this summer it would at least mean something... at least a spark.

Has anyone ever come out to a friend before and they would be in complete disbelief? How did you come out?

For me, I simply said "would you find it hard to believe that I'm gay?"... "Well, I am"

During college I was walking with a friend who didn't know I was gay at the time. I don't know how the topic of gays came up, but he said something about "why do gay guys have to act like girls"? I tried to explain to him that those are the gays that are obvious and most gays you would never guess were gay. He didn't believe me and insisted that all gays act effeminate. I asked him "Do I act like that"? He was like "no" (with a confused look on his face). I ended up coming out to him. He was shocked and never expected it, but was also fine with me being gay.

Caslon11000 saidThis sounds like a whole lotta of homophobia. "Oh, I am so straight-like that nobody believes me when I say I am gay. I am so proud that people cant tell that I am gay that I had to tell you all."

No it doesn´t.

And the reason Jack has the bunny photos is that no-one believes him without them.

Caslon11000 saidThis sounds like a whole lotta of homophobia. "Oh, I am so straight-like that nobody believes me when I say I am gay. I am so proud that people cant tell that I am gay that I had to tell you all."

I was just answering the question. I don't think there is any more reason for me to be proud that I happen to be "straight-acting" ( I actually hate that term) than someone who happens to be effeminate.My roommate in college was an effeminate drag-queen. It would annoy the shit of me when other gays would judge him for being who he is. It also annoys the shit of me when people say mascline guy are just "trying to fit in". We are all gay and have just as much worth being who we are! There is too much I don't like fem shit in the community, just as there is too much that mascline guys "are trying to fit in". Bullshit! We are all just trying to be who we are.

Caslon11000 saidThis sounds like a whole lotta of homophobia. "Oh, I am so straight-like that nobody believes me when I say I am gay. I am so proud that people cant tell that I am gay that I had to tell you all."

This is kind of a stupid comment. I didn't have this problem with my friends in Atlanta but when I moved to St. Louis they thought I was joking when it came up in conversation, while I thought they believed me. Then, at a different time when I said I was at a gay bar the night before they were like "wait what??" even though I was sure they knew about it since I had already told them. And I can assure you I'm far from "so straight-acting" or butch. Gay stereotypes have a lot more to do with being exaggerated in body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice, than they do with how butch or manly you are.

Caslon11000 saidThis sounds like a whole lotta of homophobia. "Oh, I am so straight-like that nobody believes me when I say I am gay. I am so proud that people cant tell that I am gay that I had to tell you all."

I'm not homophobic and I certainly didn't want to come off that way.I was merely giving a reason as to why my friends are in disbelief that I am gay... they just don't "see it" (as a friend said).

QUOTE AUTHOR GOES HEREDid you complete your studying and was it effective?

We were studying mechanisms for polymerization. Got that thing hands down now!

westguy79 saidI always get called "straight". When I came out, my friend could not believe it either. Even now when I am at a gay function (party, bar, etc), people think I am hetero.

I'm thinking about wearing a sign from now on.

OMG! That reminds me of a similar situation that happened to me. A few years back, I was at a gay bar in Seattle and there was this loud, halfway effeminate guy there that was admittedly straight. His gay friends also vouched for him as straight. Anyway, the guy came up to me and asked me if I was gay and I told him I was. He had a hard time believing me and said that I don't look, sound or act gay and even said that I appeared to be more straight than him.