Love Sonnet A Prelude To Long Saga Of Caring

October 13, 1985|By Cheryl Lavin and Laura Kavesh.

Rich and Carla, both in their mid-20s, had been dating for about a month when they were invited to a Valentine`s Day party hosted by a few of Carla`s high school friends. Along with the other guests they drank a lot of heart-red punch, ate from a plate of heart-shaped cookies and played the usual party games: charades, truth or consequences. Then the hostess came up with another great idea. Each guest was invited to write a love poem to his or her partner. Rich, suddenly inspired, quickly dashed off the following red-hot verse:

When I was a young lad, I dreamed ahead

To the day when I would wed

A Jayne Mansfield, a Marilyn Monroe,

An Elizabeth Taylor or a Brigitte Bardot.

I found my dream girl to be none of these,

But an irresistible creature with 32Bs.

(Second verse)

I love you for your body.

I love you for your head.

But most of all I love you

Because you`re dynamite in bed.

Then the poems were put into sealed envelopes and everyone had to pull one and read it out loud while the other guests tried to guess who had written it. For some strange reason everyone instantly knew that Rich was the author. Carla was humiliated, and the couple had ``quite a scene on the way home.``

Fortunately her sense of humor returned the next day. They talked it over, and Carla forgave Rich. In fact, she proposed to him. They were married one month later. That was 23 years, 3 kids and many love poems ago.

The original sonnet is still a hot topic of conversation. Friends from the party have not forgotten it, either. In fact, the only people in Rich and Carla`s circle who don`t know about it are their three children. Showing them the poem would only shatter a lot of illusions.

``We`ll tell them someday,`` says Rich, ``but not now. Right now we`re having enough trouble trying to tell them not to rush into relationships.``

-- The word that best summed up Jennifer`s pain when her relationship ended a year ago was grief--so much so that she did her own little creative writing, taking the word apart--G-R-I-E-F--and putting it back together again --all the while hoping it would go away.

First G for (re)Gurgitation: ``You know you are in this stage when you look at a glass of water and get nauseated.``

This is followed by R for Rendezvous. ``Here you decide I`m going to date everyone, several at a time. You have your friends set you up with their friends and their friends set you up with their cousins, and their cousins set you up with the guy who lives two houses down the street. Mother sets you up with the grocery cashier`s son, your sister the nurse sets you up with one of the doctor`s patients and your brother sets you up with the softball team.

(Here you may relapse to the previous stage.)``

Then comes I for Isolation: ``Your main goal in life now is to find a place where you can be by yourself. Personally, I liked the empty file cabinet on the west wall of my office. At home I liked the clothes closet in my bedroom.``

After that--fortunately--comes E for Energetic: ``You decide to travel, meet new people, get a new job, buy a mansion, buy a Ferrari, make a million

--all in one day.``

And, at long last, F for Finale: ``Here you start to come to terms with what has happened. Your vision becomes more clear. You appreciate things which you may have forgotten were important to you--family and friends. And you come to realize that something positive has come about: You have survived.``

Married men, why do you cheat? Send you tale and your phone number to Cheryl Lavin, care of Tales From the Front, The Chicago Tribune, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, Ill. 60611.