We Are Not Meant to Live Alone

By Dr. Margaret Paul December 31, 2006

Research indicates that loving, healthy relationships are vital to health and longevity. Yet many people in our society live alone with little love, caring and support. Loneliness is a major cause of illness.

John
Robbins, the heir to the Baskin-Robbins ice cream fortune, stated on
the Coast to Coast radio show that one of the surprises of his research
into cultures known for their longevity, was the importance of love and
healthy relationships. Loneliness and negative interactions can depress
the functioning of the body's systems and lead to poor health, Robbins
reported. "I believe that ultimately it is the love in our lives that
underlies and makes possible our greatest healing and longevity."

I have also heard that
the number one killer in our society is not cancer or heart disease -
it is loneliness. This is not a surprise to me, as loneliness is often
the underlying feeling that so many people attempt to avoid with their
various addictions.

People in cultures known
for their longevity do not live alone. Before modern civilization,
people did not live alone. Our civilized way of life has led to the
loneliness that is endemic in our society.

We are not meant to live
alone. We are meant to live in caring communities with people to turn
to for love and connection, and for help when we need it. Love,
connection and support are vital for our health and wellbeing.

Without caring family,
community, or friends to turn to, we lack the connection with others
that we all need. However, in order to feel connected with others, we
first need to be connected with ourselves.

We all need the feeling
of inner connection that comes from practicing Inner Bonding and being tuned in to ourselves and to
our personal source of spiritual guidance. We need the feeling of inner
connection that comes from taking loving care of ourselves -
physically, emotionally and spiritually. But the goal of inner
connection is not being alone. When we connect with ourselves and with
our spiritual guidance, we fill ourselves with love - and we
then want to share that love with others.

No matter how inwardly
connected we are, we are not islands unto ourselves. We need others
with whom to share our love and our joy. We need others to play with
and learn with. And we need others to turn to in times of sadness and
grief. Without this, we feel lonely.

Loneliness is one of the
hardest feelings to feel. The feeling itself can be experienced as life
threatening since we could have died as babies if we were left alone
for too long. We can feel lonely in many different situations: when we
are alone and have no one with whom to share love, when we are with
people who are not open to connecting with us, and when we are with
people and we are not open to connecting with them.

The feeling of
loneliness may be so painful that you turn to various addictions to
avoid the feeling. Many people do not even know that they are feeling
lonely because they respond addictively so quickly. They the grab the
food, the drink, the drug, the cigarette, turn on the TV, get busy, or
get angry before they are aware of having a feeling, and then wonder
why they cannot stop their addictions. Often people become addicted to
a dysfunctional relationship and cannot leave for fear of the
loneliness and disconnection. When people are not connected with
themselves and their spiritual guidance, they may have a connection
addiction, constantly pulling on others for the connection they so
desperately need.

Continual loneliness and
the inner aloneness from inner disconnection, create much stress in the
body, which leads to illness. In addition to proper nutrition and
exercise, one reason certain cultures live long and healthy lives is
that they have love and connection with others always available to
them.

Do not discount the
power and importance of inner and relationship connection. If you want
optimal health, you need to take the action in your own behalf to seek
out loving and caring people and to do the Inner Bonding work necessary to
become a loving and caring person with yourself and with others.

One of the reasons we created the Inner Bonding membership community is to provide the sense of community that we all need. In our membership community, individuals receive the love, compassion, caring and support that they might not have anywhere else in their lives. While a virtual community is the the same as a physical community, it can provide the sense of connection that is often missing in our current society.