Ethics of polygamy

bylessonon31 March 2014

I am now on a skiing holiday in the Alps and I’m writing from a beautiful hotel with an even more beautiful view of the mountains
Since I’m here in the noble company: Piter XXL, Alex , Zbyszek (one of the characters in Piter’s book: “Sex, Magic and Seducers”) .
I asked each of the guys to write something interesting in the subject of this blog so you will have an opportunity to know what some really amazing people.
I’ll begin with an article by Alex: “Ethics of Polygamy”
Let’s look at the two ingredients of the traditional idea of fidelity:
- Sexual exclusiveness, which guarantees the “one and only partner ”
- Loyalty, i.e. durability, stability and guarantee of “permanently/ forever together”

It is interesting that these two ingredients are in a sense contradictory because if we are loyal it is hard to guarantee exclusiveness at the same time and the easier to guarantee exclusiveness the harder it is to ensure loyalty. Why?
Let us assume that you would like to grant your partner exclusiveness (i.e. a monogamous relationship). In such a case every newly met woman will pose a challenge to your relationship, because a monogamous relationship (with sexual exclusiveness) with a new woman would mean the end of the relationship with the previous one and the end of loyalty.

Life shows that meeting someone and a desire to have a new partner is not so rare at all in the traditional monogamous world and it often ends in a new relationship or change of partner. Though of course exclusivity and loyalty until death shall part them is in fact feasible.

On the other hand, if you want to stay loyal to someone, i.e. have a stable relationship and you meat a potential partner who fascinates, attracts and lures you but you still want your current relationship to last you might at this point abandon the guarantee of sexual exclusivity. Life experience teaches that such situations often occur in the real world and are commonly called “betrayal” or “lover on the side.”

And how it looks in the world of polygamy? There is no component of sexual exclusiveness so there is no factors setting a limit to loyalty. If you meet a new woman it does not mean that you end your previous relationships or change them from mono- to polygamous. A new woman does not in any way threaten any of your existing women, it just does not change anything in your previous relationships. Your partner can be sure of your loyalty because one of the most important potential reasons for breaking up (new partner) is out.

Also observe that in a monogamous relationship, in the case of meeting a new woman and an attempt to maintain the current relationship the appearances of monogamy are usually kept up, i.e. the existing partner keeps lying to the “one and only”. Often also the other partner is convinced that she is the only one.

Hence sincerity is sacrificed and, what’s more, it happens for moral reasons, in an attempt of maintaining the monogamy. In an analogous polygamous relationship there is no moral need for lies a “new partner ” situation so reality does not compromise one’s sincerity .

Conclusion:
Polygamy, just thanks to the reducing fidelity to only loyalty is morally more stable than monogamy because it comes into contact with reality. Paradoxically, women bound with a polygamous man can trust more in his loyalty, stability and the long term character of the relationship. The need for security is being met here paradoxically, better if they have sufficient awareness. Moreover, polygamous relationships are more honest.