We must have heard that the most important ingredient required for winning is the attitude. Attitudes, behaviors and character are created by various sources.
All aspects of our life are governed by the attitudes we have towards our environment. If we tend to have a negative attitude, the blessings in life eventually fade away.
Money is a very important part of our surroundings and our negative attitudes as fear, detachment, or thinking it of evil all gradually lead to money vanishing from our lives.

“Financial Freedom is a Mental, Emotional and an Educational process” – Robert Kiyosaki (author of Rich Dad, Poor Dad)

I would today like to outline the bad attitudes and negative behavior towards money and identify and learn how they are seeded in my personality.

Attitudes and behaviors are cultivated through various inputs from our surroundings.

1. Parents
2. Social system
3. Culture
4. Religion

Here, I would pick “CULTURE” and highlight how negative attitudes and behaviors are created by cultures.

Cultural background is imparted from one generation mostly through the means of storytelling. Bed time stories and moral stories learnt at school, are a rich source of culture.

Let’s take a look 3 stories we tell our children relating to money and the underlying beliefs these stories form in relations to money and values created.

1) The woodcutter and 3 axes:

This story starts with a background explaining, a poorhonest woodcutter ( note: honestly and poverty are linked) looses his only, iron axe in the river mistakenly and refuses to accept the golden axe, the sliver axe and accepts his the iron axe.
This story, sadly underlines honesty leading to a lifestyle, where he continue to be poor.
This story lacks the imagination how a poor person was an opportunist, who availed a golden opportunity or a silver opportunity for a good life keeping in tact his honestly. Whereas the woodcutter chooses, to turn down the golden and silver chances and decides to live in his miser comfort zone.
These are character barriers which the above story narrates and implants blind and pessimist character in the audience towards golden opportunities in life.

2. A greedy merchant gets rid of his bloom of turning everything he touched turn into gold.

The background of this story narrates, a rich miser and selfish merchant ( linking “riches” with negative character being “selfish”) pleases the Goddess of wealth and receives a boom of turning any object he touch, should turn into gold.
On being blessed, by such a boom he becomes over joyed initially but his blessings soon turns into a curse when he is unable to eat or drink anything because his food turns into gold as soon as he touches it, and he starves, he also mistakenly touches his daughter who turns into gold. And finally he regrets and concluded that money is no good in life and gets rid of his boom.
Again, this story is weak, and has a negatively impacting attitude towards money and riches.
The story portrays an imagination that being financially strong translates to bad health and disputed family life. Also creates a mental barrier that those who work hard with dedication and become capable to turn all that they touch into gold will lead to unhappiness in all aspects of life.
This story lacks how the merchant coped with his boom to achieve greater prosperity for self and society, keeping up his health and family happy.
Here there is more a mental destruction, than enhancement.

I would like to narrate a story that contrasts with the above negative beliefs.

3. Story of wit and cleverness of Tenali Raman.

Tenali is described as a very clever and learned person. At the beginning of his successful career he was guided by his Guru ( mentor), to worship the Goddess of wealth to give him directions. He followed the advice and undertook a very diligent worship and was successful in pleasing the Goddess. She appeared and brought along 2 bowls to choose from. One a golden bowl containing milk, which will bless him with riches but he will not have any intellect. On the other hand the sliver bowl containing curd, which will bless him in being a learned person but being poor all his life. Along, with a condition to, choose and eat the contents of only one bowl. And since Tenali Raman was a clever person he mixes the contents of sliver bowl into the golden bowl and eats from the golden bowl. Ensuring he is blessed with riches and intellect both. And thereby fulfills the condition of eating from only one bowl.
This story is a true example of using cleverness to have a financial abundant life along with great intelligence.

Today at the Mastermind Training, I played this wonderful Game, where a person narrates a story and each time the word “change” is shouted out, the narrator has to completely change the theme of the story and continue with a new background. The activity seemed easy, however when I was actually narrating one, it was a complete mind googling experience.
On my way back, from the training, I was thinking about myself and my response to changes, and changes that have occurred in my life. I would always, cling on to my comfort zone, as most of us do.

However change is inevitable, life evolves, irrespective if you wish to or not. Changing cities, getting married, quitting job, relocating and being a parent, all are significant changes that took place in my life. And the greatest of all which I hated was relocating cities and parting from family and friends. Anyone and everyone who knew me since my childhood is certainly aware of my clinging behavior, and how much I hated moving cities and waying bye.

But, today I am a changed person, the sand beneath my feet feels eroding, but it doesn’t shakes me enough.
What is it that has changed inside me? Why I don’t feel the pain anymore? When I change cities, move away from my friends? I don’t shred a tear!! Instead I m prepared, I am happy.

Well to pen down my thoughts, it is a clear vision of a “Better Life”.
Novelty is the course of life, anything that does not flow, renews along the course and adapts to the pace of time will become rotten. If we stick, to present and hold on, nothing will blossom.

For the ” Better Life “, the clear picture, that is what I see, when we move cities, change homes, part from our family and go miles away from them. These distances are actually the stepping stones for a better future for me and for me to be able to provide better living for my loved ones.

So, now whenever, I encounter departure, I believe it must be celebrated and welcomed instead of wept for. Because departure is the beginning of a new story, and not the end of the previous one.

As parents and care takers when we think of pretend plays, we immediately categorize our children as girls and boys and then define boundaries for pretend play. These boundaries when planted in childhood get so strong that the little ones can never do away with them.
Pretend plays are kids way of living the adult world. Let’s open a universe of pretend plays for our little boys. The following pretend play for a complete development.

1.Cooking –
When ever we think of pretend play and quickly categorise our children into girls and boys and draw huge boundaries for our kids and refrain boys into the kitchen premises. Cooking is an activity through which we are capable of feeding ourselves and bring peace to mind and body. Every child must learn skills to satisfy the basic needs of life irrespective of their gender.

2. Clean up
Living in a clean environment is vital for good health and life long prosperity, this can only be achieved when every child learns to clean up their own mess every time they play or spill around. The idea behind is to have a cleaner kid to have a cleaner planet. Having good clean up habits will ensure independent clean life long living.

3. Arranging things
Involving your little boys in stacking keeping and arranging things in order leads to an amazing logical thinking. Calculating and measuring the space with sizes and shapes. These skills every child must be capable of doing by the age of 5 and boys should also have their hands on this one. By doing little stacking at home.

4.Negotiations
Like the above stated roles parents of boys must question and challenge the views of their boys instead of accepting this words as final verdict only in the grounds of being a male child. He must be encouraged to negotiate which provides a fair opportunity to boys to learn to validate and justify their opinions. Else in future he will always be short of words to talk things out. This is a life skills which will come handy in all walks or life ranging from corporate jobs to having a healthy married life.

5.Taking care
Being loved is a basic human requirement. Pretending to play as caring nurse, will not hamper his image or destroy his ego of a being a male. Learning to take care of his toys and expressing love and concern will help him grow into a loving a respecting male, rest assured these plays will make him more human.

In my recent understanding and learning about being a parent, who has to nurture a child to bring out the best in him as a human being. The actions and roles played by the parents from the day one of being a parent really goes a long way in forming the character of the human being the child will grow up to be.

I recently read a few lines maybe a flyer at a nursery visit, which kept me wondering over and over again. I shall also give the meaning of few words to give a clear understanding of the lines. Which states as follows:

If a child lives with ……

1. Criticism he learns to condemn ( express complete disapproval).

2. Hostility ( unfriendliness or opposition) he learns to fight.

3. Fear, he learns to be apprehensive ( anxious or fearful that something wrong will happen)

4. Jealousy, he learns to be guilty ( responsible for wrong doing)

5. Tolerance ( willingness to tolerate the existence of options), he learns to be patient

6. Encouragement, he learns to be confident (Sure)

7. Praise, he learns to be appreciative (showing gratitude or pleasure)

8. Acceptance ( the art of believing, a positive welcome), he learns to love

9. Approval ( the belief that someone or something is good), he learns to like himself

10. Recognition ( attention or reward ), good to have a goal.

11. Honesty ( sincerity or frankness), he learns what is truth,

12. Fairness ( exhibiting a disposition that is free of favoritism), he learns justice

13. Security, he learns to trust (to place confidence/depend on)

14. Friendliness ( warm, comforting), he learns the world is a nice place to live.

Having learnt this about child physiology and the impacts of various actions they have on childs behaviour. I adopted a few changes and made my actions a little different for the desired results. And therefore, I started talking about giving options/making decision that could be base on the rules of developing confidence, appreciation, goals.

I slowly changed my actions and words rather than just simple let’s leave for home now!, which may sound more demanding and gives a feeling of ” No, more playing” or ” you have done nothing good”. And which may lead to being apprehensive and condemn respectively. Which will lead to sure results of disapproval and no result situation. Now i shall say ” let’s leave for home and then you will have a better chance of playing with Mickey”. Which gives the feeling of recognition and also builds the moods for a new play i.e a new goal to look forward and the desired result is a win win situation. However being a child is not an easy thing, as the tiny little brain may not be able to understand everything and he may say a plain “No”., “I don’t want to do it”.

Caution! Dear mommy don’t get in to the “No” negotiations any you start saying ” No baby it’s time to go home, No more sweets”. You are only teaching more ways to say No. Use the act of giving choices and empowering as a handy tool. Start explaining and talking about doing things at home with Mickey or other activities which sound interesting and leads to engage the tiny little brain to imagine, think and be mesmerised and approve the idea which excites the most and follows the way back to home.

Hurray! You have achieved 2 goals as a parent you have not only made him go back home and however on the way to the process you have also tickled a little bit of tiny thinking and imagination.

In the long run as parents we have to train ourselves to train our children in their behavior. Most cases parenting is not a subject( which is the most powerful tool to shape the future of the world) which we learn at school like maths or science and know the basics rules to get the results. Therefore new parents wander from situation to situation and follow techniques which are predominantly prevailing in the family, society or among friends. Like all hit and tries some are good and some really bad.

The more the child is exposed to giving options and choices and making decisions at an early age and continue doing the same in the future, the child learns to enhance the power of thinking and take control and be more satisfied and confident. And then they are capable of thinking and looking out for options in dead lock situations future in life.

Do you remember any situation in your life, when you faced deadlock situations? How did you feel? Sometimes we do not approve the actions of our friends, maybe your bosses’ order, your teacher’s word or any situation like missing the bus, or no food at home, and many more. Many of us may feel anxious, worried or maybe so disappointed that we may not want to find a way out and just blame. And the empowered ones, who have the training of a leader since childhood of finding options will think imagine about various options of over coming the situation which looks like a dead lock to others. These people in some cases may not even experience anxiety or disapproval. Since the brain is trained to take control and exercise options/choices and making decisions.

Think about it every time you talk to yu little one. What a small tool of asking is leading in the big picture. Consider this idea as an option.