Eggplant is abundant as fuck this time of year so you can buy them on the cheap. Not sure what the hell to do with an eggplant? Grab that Grimace-looking son of a bitch and roast the shit out of it so you can whip together this dope dip. Stow those prepackaged sad excuses for a snack and GET FUCKING SERIOUS.

2 tablespoons olive oil (you can use tahini* here instead of the oil but depending on where you live that shit might be hard to find so don’t stress)

2-3 cloves of garlic, chopped

1 ¼ teaspoons chili powder

½ teaspoon salt

2 tablespoons chopped parsley

First you need to roast the fucking eggplant. You can do this shit one of two ways. 1. You can grill the whole motherfucker over a medium heat (300 degrees). Rotate it occasionally until all the sides are black and it start collapsing in on it self like a deflated football. This will take about 25-30 minutes. OR 2. Heat your oven up to 375 degrees, put your eggplant on a baking sheet, and roast it whole for 20-30 minutes until you can poke a knife through it like soft butter. Whatever method you choose, just be sure to stab the eggplant with a fork a couple times before you cook it so the steam escapes without that purple fucker falling apart on you.

When the eggplant has cooled down a bit, cut that shit in half. Scoop out all the flesh using a spoon and toss it right in the food processor or blender. Add all the rest of the ingredients except the parsley and run that fucking machine until the eggplant looks nice and smooth. Throw in the parsley and run the machine for a couple extra seconds so that it gets a little chopped up and mixed in. If you don’t mind your dips a little chunky, you could skip the food processor and just mash all of this shit around in a bowl with a fork; just chop the garlic smaller. Taste the dip and add more of whateverthefuck you think it needs so that it taste right to you. More lemon? More garlic? More chili powder? Do whatever. I don’t give a fuck. Serve it warm or cold. It keeps in the fridge for at least 5 days.

Makes enough for 4 people to snack on

*What in the fuck is ‘tahini’? It’s a paste made from sesame seeds and used for tons of badass dishes. Think peanut butter but with sesame seeds.