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Sucks to Suck: Tony Romo

By Mike Roza

At 9 and 1, the Dallas Cowboys are on pace to not only own the NFC East divisional crown, but some analysts outside of Big D are projecting them to compete for their sixth Lombardi Trophy in February. 1996 was a long time ago. It has been brought up that rookie sensation Dak Prescott has not only saved the season, but he has also led the Cowboy offense to a Renaissance of consistency that the boys in blue and silver have not seen in the past several seasons. With all of the hype that Prescott and Dallas are receiving on a weekly basis by sporting media, all of us casual fans that forgot what it was like to hate the Cowboys have finally been breathe a sigh of relief and proudly utter ‘Oh, yeah, f**k the Cowboys.’ In all of this, one man that was supposed to lead this franchise off into the sunset is now being put out to pasture. That’s right. To quote our incoming president elect: “You know it, I know it, we all know it,” Tony Romo will be holding a Windows tablet while wearing a headset and cheering for his Cowboys for the remainder of the 2016 season as Prescott has been announced the heir to the Dallas throne by big daddy Jones and his stooges.

I know what you’re about to say: 1. Romo always gets hurt 2. He’s inconsistent 3. He’s a gunslinger 4. He doesn’t win the big game 5. He dated Jessica freaking Simpson in her prime (super jelly) 5. And he was the starting quarterback of “Americas Team.” Of course we should hate Tony Romo. However, I choose to see Romo from a different perspective. Tony went undrafted. Not a single team called the name of the Wisconsin kid that led the Eastern Illinois Panthers to an Ohio Valley Conference championship. The first pass I remember of his was a pick he threw against the Giants in 2006 after coming into the game in the second half. He never lost the starting job until he was injured this preseason. In case everybody forgot, Romo has done a lot of damage to NFL defenses over the past decade when he isn’t out injured. If all goes to plan and Prescott remains starter for good and Jerry sends Tony packing to Denver or elsewhere, Romo currently owns the Cowboys all-time records for touchdown passes with 247 and passing yards with 34,154. He also holds the NFL record for most consecutive road games while throwing at least one touchdown pass. It is still active, by the way, at 41 straight games. Oh, yeah, and Tony also has the highest quarterback rating of any quarterback ever in the fourth quarter and highest quarterback rating in the month of December in NFL history.

If you closed one eye to read that last paragraph, fear not Romo haters, here is your moment of gratification. I too agree that you have to ride the horse you came in on. Dak lost the opener to the loathed G Men but has been dependable throughout. The kid says all the right stuff to the media and handles his emotions so well on the field, which as we have learned through ESPN is a testament to his Mom. A lot of the success of Dallas can also be attributed to their defense, which is finally getting time to rest and looks as good as they have on paper. And who can forget about Zeke. Elliott has been running dudes over and may break Eric Dickerson’s long standing rookie rushing record. Dickerson doesn’t seem to think so, but Zeke keeps eating defenses by the spoonful each week. But doesn’t this all seem just bittersweet? After all, Tony took the reins of the Cowboy offense out of the hands of Drew Bledsoe in 2006. Five years prior, Bledsoe was injured by Mo Lewis in Foxboro, giving way to some guy named Tom Brady. Just like Bledsoe, Romo will find work elsewhere and with the right situation, he might get the opportunity to make some offense great again. Sucks to suck.