Friday, June 02, 2006

I may need to borrow David Blaine's catheter pretty soon...

So I have been at work for a week now, and still don't have an ID Card somehow (clearly, I am not working for the private sector). Luckily the security guard downstairs is from my hometown, so he lets me in, but when I get to my floor, I have to wait by the "DON'T LET ANYONE WITHOUT ID IN" sign for someone to come out or go in and explain to them that I am the intern sans ID, at which point they look at me, look at the sign, then look at me again. I give them my best smile, and so far, it has worked all but one time.

The worst part about this situation is that the bathroom is back outside the FishWatch proof door. This means I have to borrow an ID from someone, telling them that I need to go the bathroom, which is awkward, because then they will know for how long I am in the bathroom. Also, I can tell in eyes of the women on the floor that they simply do not want their IDs going into the men's room. Alternatively, I have lied and said I am going out to get a snack, but then the ID holder asks for something, so then I actually have to go out and get a snack at a time when I am trying to get my body back in shape in case someone invites me out to the Hamptons and/or his bedroom.

The solution has been to minimize my exits and entrances. I have cut out all caffeinated beverages (which means no props around when I tell the icedcoffeemeltdown story), and luckily the water cooler on the floor is for "Paying Water Club Members Only" (according to the sign), so I can't even hydrate at all. I leave only for lunch (going to the bathroom on the way out) and then make an intern from a different floor come and let me in after lunch so I don't have to bother my boss. Yesterday, one intern (you know who you are KB) refused to come up and let me in, so I had to call the boss who is just getting tired of this whole situation.

You would think the simple answer would be to just get an ID, but I have tried people, I really have, and it doesn't appear that I will be getting one anytime soon.

The bigger issue is that I accidentally drank some water at lunch and now I have to pee. Does this mean I have to leave for the day?