I'm sorry the first thing I read about you was about such a disappointing story. I think the mindset that it's ok to cheat but not to love is screwed up too. If it helps any, not all men are built the same. My husband wants me to find love and happiness with someone else and is against the idea of "just sex". But then, I'm interested in other women, not men, so one never knows. Hang in there and keep talking to A, just in case another opportunity to find that other forever love ever presents itself.