Rock Bottom – How I know I’ve been doing it wrong

There is no one rock bottom. There are several. Whether rock bottom be in your career, home life, family or relationship, they cannot be equated to one another. It’s like, have you ever had that feeling that you’re at a turning point in your life? That your current chapter is about to end? Sometimes it happens when old obsessions, worries, people or hobbies start to become less interesting. I’m honestly just talking about growth which, for the record, can go both ways. Rock bottoms, for me, are usually turning points, forks in the road for where I should be going. Unfortunately and fortunately, they don’t happen all at the same time. My three sections where I have hit rock bottom that I am willing to share have been my education, my finances and my love/friend life.

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Finances
-Though I have a job, it doesn’t pay nearly as much as when I was a teacher. Shocking, right? I was living above my means carrying on my life as I had lived when I had steady income. I never adjusted. Sallie Mae adjusted me though! Real. Quick. My family honestly had my back (as they have since birth), but it wasn’t a good feeling having your truths all out like that.

Education
-I finally got accepted to medical school my second round. However, I faced rejection before even applying the first time. I just kept coming up short despite many strengths I possessed. My focus steadily increased until my second round where I felt to my core that if I did not go all the way, if I did not go balls to the wall, then I didn’t deserve the dream in the first place. It was my last stand. I was going to quit if it did not work out. Grace be to God, I made it. I. Made. It.

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Love/Friends
-This is the shortest and most frequent area I have rock bottom since my life has been in flux the last 4 years due to me focusing on my dreams. Due to lack of stability, lack of ability to stay in one city, the relationships I make are strong, yes, but fragile under the right circumstances. I found myself alone. I had no one to randomly chat up and tell stupid things to (besides my parents) and it felt horrible. I was reluctant to start any romantic relationships for I didn’t know where I am/would end up and have prior experience of long distance gone wonky. This 4 year spell allowed me to be comfortable with flexibility and the ability to let go what isn’t serving you at that time. It may serve you later or never again, but it is okay to let go and okay to be alone. It’s okay to change your definitions.

Welp! That’s it on this first short but candid post on The Dub. Check back for more deep, unfiltered feels.