Today, I took my dog to the emergency vet at 4 in the morning because he ate something he shouldn't have. I spent hundreds of dollars on tests, all to find out he'll pass it. What did he eat? My silicon strap-on. FML

It's gonna be real awkward if he passes it while you're out walking him. Also, keep out of reach of dogs, children, and anyone who isn't the person you're using it on. God invented the underwear drawer for a reason.