Friday, March 31, 2006

So... yesterday was just so much fun and excitement... I decided to wake up and try it again. So -- I'm going to bare my soul to y'all... since there aren't that many of you, and since this is way, WAY private, and since no one ever lurkes out there.... and yes... this is another long blog, so if you just want the recipes (and you don't care one iyota about me *sob*) then just scroll towards the bottom... Okay ... fasten your seat belts, 'cause here we go.

I truly believe I am a beautiful woman ... inside and out. And, I believe this, because my husband said so. And my man NEVER lies ... never. Honesty is his ONLY policy, whether you like it or not. So, beautiful I am. But... I could stand to loose a few pounds. Maybe more than a few. Daggone it... must you look at me that way? OKAY. I need to loose about 5,000 pounds. There. Are you happy now? Sheesh.

But loosing weight has never been easy for me. NEVER. I struggle with PCOS, which totally has my hormones in an uproar. In fact, my OBGYN (men are now running from my blog screaming in protest -- look how funny they look!) said that I probably would NOT loose weight even if I sewed my mouth shut. Gee, thanks. But... he would know. He's the specialist.

Ironically, I weigh less now than I did before I got pregnant. About 25 pounds less. But sadly, my body has changed so much after having the baby, that my clothing fits ... well ... Weirdly. Everything shifted. I hate that! Now, (thanks, God) I have a low and loose belly. Yuck! I would be in a size smaller were it not for that belly!

So ... I have made a small goal for my self. I will try to loose 15 pounds (without using the rotovirus diet method). I'm not setting a time frame for myself, because I just don't loose weight like normal people do. But, I WILL work diligently at it. I'm praying that the Lord will provide me with the strength I need, the will power I need, and a desire -- nay -- uncontrollable craving for salads and not chocolate.

It will make me feel better about myself. I have found that in order for me to loose weight, I need to treat myself like a diabetic (I was during pregnancy, and am borderline insulin resistant now). I can eat carbs, but they need to be minimal, and complex. So, goodbye my dear Dove bars. I may visit with you every now and then, but not regularly. I'll miss you. And, honestly? I'm getting tired of scrambled eggs, (or eggs fixed anyway) for breakfast. I have a girlfriend with a cute figure... really cute, even though she thinks her hiney is too big (she's probably a size 4 soaking ringing wet)... she eats scrambled egg whites and Special K cereal for breakfast. Maybe I should try that? Except it MUST be Special K with Strawberries. Totally addicted to that.

Moving on... I had another strange and mind boggling conversation with yet another weirdo colleague of mine... and I use the term weirdo loosely (Lord... forgive me ... but ... You know!). He came into my cube this morning and saw pictures of my son and said (I kid you not, this is really how the conversation went) ...

Him: "Boy, babies are something else. They're just living outside of their mother when they are born."Me: "uh... yeah ... they are living outside of their mothers, and they are something else" (read: where in the world did THAT come from... and YOU are 'something else')Him: "Yeah, I guess you want more, huh."Me: "Yes, but seeing that I'm close to 40, we'll probably only have one more" (Read: Phew ... a normal comment.)Him: "Well, you had him when you were 38, right?"Me: "Yes, and I'll be 39 in November."Him: "Well, babies born to older moms mature physically much faster than normal babies."Me: "What?" (Read: Lord, get him out of my cube. End this conversation. Please, HOLY SPIRIT, I'm BEGGING you)Him: "Yes, and babies born to older dads are more smart than normal babies."Me: "Wow. Never knew that. So, you don't have any kids, right?" (Read: So, you think my child is ab-normal and he will develop like, oh, I don't know... King Kong? Fortunately he'll be as smart as Albert Einstein -- and you're what.... 100 years old? [my favorite old age])Him: "No, no kids of my own, but I have nieces. My sister didn't even know she was pregnant, and one day, called in sick to work, and by noon time, called back to say she had two babies."Me: "Really? How odd" (Read: Really odd. Just like you. What a surprise. Lord... have you forgotten about me?)

At this point, we were interrupted. WHEW. Praise God from Whom all blessings flow! He DID remember about little ol' me.

Finally... Since I'm allowing you this peek through the windows to my soul... I thought you should know... I have always, since birth -- hated -- HATED broccoli. The very smell of it steaming on the stove makes me gag. Literally. Yeah, I know... you're all staring at the screen in shock saying, "no, GiBee, NOT YOU! You, who loves to cook, You who loves food of all kinds!" Yeah, me. And then ... I became pregnant. And changed my mind about broccoli. A little. How odd (not that I got pregnant, well -- that was odd too -- well, not exactly odd, but -- well, never mind).

While pregnant, I discovered a keen desire to find at least one way I can prepare broccoli and "stomach" it so that my son would not grow up hating broccoli. And ya know what? I hit on a winner. Two, in fact... and I'm gonna share the recipes with you today for the Friday Food Fun. Aren't you excited? Yup. Thought so. So, if you came here looking for a goodie to make for your small group, or a way to fix your chocolate craving ... sorry. But -- hey -- at least your heart will sigh easier today! And... both recipes are sinfully easy! I promise. Gourmet, tasty and easy.

Broccoli Crowns split apart (as much as you need for your family)Olive OilCrushed FRESH garlicCoarse-Ground Sea Salt (McCormicks has those grinder things... but it doesn't have to be sea salt)Ground pepper

Pre-heat oven to 450 degrees. In a bohonkus (that means very, VERY big -- thank you Jeana) bowl, place your split broccoli crowns. Drizzle liberally with olive oil. Add crushed garlic, and toss all around so all the florettes are coated with the olive oil and have pieces of garlic all around them. Arrange the broccoli on a foil-lined baking sheet (for easy clean-up). Liberally sprinkle with cracked sea salt and pepper. Place in oven and bake until you can slide a knife through easily... about 25-30 minutes. Don't over bake into mushy broccoli. The broccoli will be a bright green with little browned pieces of garlic and broccoli, and will have a mild, almost nutty and delish flavor.

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Broccoli Slaw (for all you gourmet lovers)

Slaw Ingredients (If you are picky about fruit or nuts in your food, then don't try this recipe, because it will just ruin it if you take those two elements out)

1 Bag of Broccoli Slaw (I use Foxy Organic brand -- in produce section -- duh!)2 chopped scallions/spring onions/green onions (which ever way you call it - all the same to me)1/2 large, firm apple, peeled and chopped (I love Braeburns or Cameos in this recipe)Hand full of Dried Cranberries (or cherries, or rasins like the gold ones)Hand full of chopped Pecans (or you can use sunflowers or any other nut you love)

Slaw Dressing (VERY subjective -- according to taste -- if you have a slaw dressing recipe you love, just use that -- also, I don't usually measure my ingredients, so I'm going from memory here!)1 cup mayonnaise (or more, depending on how thick you like it)2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar (more or less, depending on how tart you like it)3 (or so) tablespoons sugar (I use either straight Splenda or the Splenda/Sugar mix for baking)1/4 teaspoon celery seed1/4 teaspoon onion powder (or grated onion, or no onion if you don't like it)Salt and pepper to taste

Mix well. This can be refrigerated until ready to use.

Toss all ingredients together, including the slaw dressing. Cover tightly, because it WILL stink up your refrigerator. Let chill for a while before serving. Enjoy!

---------------------------------------------------------------So, if you try any of these recipes... let me know how you liked them, 'Kay???

Have a blessed weekend in the Lord. Don't forget to magnify Him and worship Him with all your heart, might, strength, and mind during your church service... you will be so blessed!

First of all, I feel SO left of this study and hurt...Did I mention I struggle with offense?

and with regards to your CO-worker...freaks running rampant...these are the people God usually chooses for me to interact with and love by example...so I can totally relate. Mine are usually like..."Why don't you have any kids at your age, anyway?" The truly sensitive barbarian!

Maybe they make a cubical version of the trunk money. (Google trunk monkey to see some commercials if you have no idea what I am talking about.)

Just think, any time some freak comes to bug you, press the cubical monkey, and from out of a file drawer, a monkey comes out and hits the freak on the head with a thick file. Then the monkey will drag unconscious freak to the stairwell and lock him in...

Chilihead, Morning Glory - I work for a company with a lot of "Good Old Boys" with construction backgrounds. The Fart, Burp and Spit. And don't care. 'Nuff said.

Kristen, Heth - Broccoli in cheese? Shudder.

Kris - Did you have to say "Dove Bars?" Huh? Did you? Throw one over here... (uh, give the dog a bone?) AND OH MY GOSH! Why didn't I think of the EASY BUTTON? You're a genius.

KPJara -- Wanna come love MY weirdos? 'Cause you can HAVE AT IT!

Peri - From your mouth to God's ears!

Shannon -- Awe, shucks girl!!! You are at the top of my list too! Love ya babe (as your son would say). Eeehhhh -- weight watchers seems to be more "life changing" than NutriSystem... just my opinion.

MomRN2 -- I'm proud of you! I knew you could do it... And, God must have thrown us together for a reason... You, me, Shannon, and some other ladies -- It seems like everyone is trying to loose weight! Power in numbers!

Shalee -- Girl, where was that monkey earlier this morning! I could have used it! Hillarious.

AS for broccoli, I prefer mine raw and in salads and slaws. I will give yours a try - it sounds yummy!

My weight loss trick? Ok - i am going to be little honest here - constipation. Yup - i need to consume so much fiber that i don't have time for naughty carbs. So it is two big bowls of fiber cereal a day - Bran flakes with All Bran and I add craisins, or Red River mixed with ground flax and extra flax with frozen blueberries. Now no cheating and putting brown sugar on that girl - just some cinnamon. (Always add salt when cooking RedRiver or it really will be tasteless.)

Special K is the most uselss food to me - i mine as well eat air!!! And then I am starving ten minutes later. No, i prefer fiber cereals or granola that keep me full until the next meal.

And I am sort of allergic to chocolate.

That is how I maintain my weight. Not much fun - but pretty effective. And i really like the Bran flakes with some craisins. Much better than Raisin Bran. So i am not suffering too much.

But if I am around cinnamon buns I will eat them till i am sick. So i try to stay far away. Then when I do give in - ah i eat lots of them! (And no i don't really throw up - but i sure feel like it!)

Janice... I think you've give me an idea for a new breakfast food! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I'm gonna try bran flakes with crasins in it next time I have to get more cereal. We ALWAYS have craisins in the house for salads and quick snacks for that fast sugar boost, but yummm -- never thought of it for breakfast! And, girl! Honesty is always best! Always!