I’m not sure what’s going on these days, but I am positively surrounded by people having birthdays, weddings, babies, and other life-marking events. Becky, too, has been making the celebratory rounds, no doubt with beautifully-wrapped packages in tow.

I’m very happy to be celebrating these things, but trying to come with nice, affordable, non-cliched gifts that aren’t just going to junk of the lives and homes of my dear ones is a challenge. Moreso recently, as my discretionary budget has shrunk and shrunk and shrunk some more. And then shrunk again.

It’s like this big now.

The Dude is a great gift-giver, and I’d like to think that I’m not too shabby, either, but it isn’t always easy to come up with just the right thing, and I’m lacking inspiration lately. So juice me up, friends. This week’s FFT is about great gifts you’ve received or given, whether they’re fancy or flawed, silly or sentimental, handmade or high-end.

41 Responses to “Friday Fun Thread: Gifts That Don’t Suck”

OTOH people tell me I give nice cards. I never buy cards, I always write something appropriate like a quote or something on some colorful paper. And then I make an envelope out of an image that I like from a magazine or an old calendar or a map. That part I do for myself, for green reasons, but people like it.

The BEST GIFT I ever received, hands down, was from my MIL last Christmas. It was an umbrella – two layers to prevent turning inside out, big enough to cover me and my backpack, compact enough to fit in the side pocked of said backpack, with a flashlight in the handle. $20, tops. It was EXACTLY what I needed. Campus is big, fall is rainy, and I had just completed sending my applications for PhD schools – meaning another 5-8 years of schlepping around a big campus. I LOVE that umbrella.

Don’t knock the homemade food items. I just asked Mr. Boxer, and he said our best gifts given are the times we’ve made dinner for friends or babysat their kids so they can have time off. We tend to do more “experiential” gifts – spending time, giving them a treat, something like that. Personally, I LOVE getting cookies and brownies.

At least for me, it’s the thought and effort put into the gift that’s the most important. My MIL has also given us an xBox 360 AND a Wii. My favorite is STILL that umbrella.

I’m waiting for my flight to Atlanta for yet another wedding, for which my gift was a handmade needlework pillow. The bride picked out the pattern, I paid for it and did the work. I give a lot of needlework gifts to friends who appreciate them. They aren’t especially cheap, but they’re unique. Otherwise, yeah, it’s hard. My family mostly picks out charities and donates money around holiday-time because we just hit a wall with all the STUFF. None of us needs more stuff.

I like consumable (cheese, wine) and experiential (swing dance lessons, massage gift certificate) gifts. It really cuts down on the STUFF issue that Becky mentioned (which is a major bonus when you live in a small apartment).

(Hmm…just realized that might have come off as boasting? I meant the laugh to indicate that it’s such a ridiculously out there gift that I didn’t think it would be useful information — I didn’t expect anything like that ever at all but I have two very generous uncles that teamed up for my graduation. Anyway, I concur with the others who focus on experiences and consumables, or handmade crafty things.)

One year when we were spending the holidays with my family I asked my partner for random, plentiful, compliments, because I knew I’d be feeling shitty about myself. Maybe it’s shallow, but hearing a steady flow of how gorgeous and smart and amazing I was, well, five years later, it’s still my favorite gift. And it cost exactly ZERO dollars!

Best gift: This needs background. My mom and I haven’t been on the same wavelength since I hit puberty, so I spent several years pretending to be excited about things I had no use for that I really would have rathered she’d made a donation in my name or something. So, I didn’t expect the worst birthday ever (my 29th, for reasons completely unrelated to my age), to be any different.

I opened my presents and my mom had gotten me this leatherbound, gilt-edged journal, and I burst into tears because it was so perfect, and something I had wanted but was unwilling to spend the money myself.

Best gift received: My mother made me a pile of fingerless gloves last Xmas. So many different colors! That and the wine that my friends all tend to give to me. Also, one of my painter friends gave me a painting of hers that I had been salivating over for years. It’s now prominently displayed in my living room.

Best gift given: I gave my now-ex an old, crotchety cat that he had been visiting at the shelter for WEEKS as well as an automatic litter-scooper. The cat is now his store cat and has his own twitter feed. I also got my house sitter a bottle of rose hip wine and a journal (unlined and pink), which she really liked and I feel was the perfect match for her.

This year: I have a bunch of jars with vodka and hot peppers that are sitting and melding. I’ll be giving those to everyone as Winter-Holiday gifts (BLOODY MARYS!). Other than that, I make food or give wine.

honestly I only ever buy books. I like books. I even gave my sister and her husband 36 books for their wedding present, 18 for each of them. I do put a lot of thought into which books but that’s about the extent of my gift giving.

Best present I ever got hmm that’s hard – my father actually bought me a gorgeous jet necklace for one christmas that I adore, he also bought me a fantastic dress once – he’s a terrible extravagant gift buyer.

My husband always buys me great books that I haven’t thought of myself – which is actually quite a hard task to get right and he bought me my favourite ever pair of shoes, which are purple and have ribbons and are beautful.

Becky – I didn’t know you did needlepoint! I like to give something knitted and will often ask the recipient what item they want and what color; that works out well. If I’m stumped and it’s a lady friend I’ll usually give a yummy smelling philosophy shower gel. It’s usable and doesn’t add to the stuff thing and is something people usually won’t buy for themselves. As far as best gift, when I was in high school I fell in love with a ring and begged my dad to buy it for. He said no. Apparently, he went back, bought it, and hoarded for several months because he gave it to me for christmas.

This makes me sound pretty materialistic, but the best gift I’ve ever received was my bike. I hadn’t had a bike for about 10 years when I suddenly decided that I wanted one. My mum bought me a lovely white step-through bike with a big wicker basket and it’s changed my life. I ride it everywhere and it’s transformed journeys from a chore to a joy for me.

I like to think that I’m good at choosing presents, but it’s my boyfriend’s birthday next week and he’s the one person I can’t buy for. So far I’ve got him a book and I’m crocheting him a doll of himself. It’s kind of a sequel to the fuzzy felt set of us that he made me last Christmas.

My current partner got me fancy artsy painted chocolates and real champagne for Christmas. He said it was because he loves that I am a Hershey’s and beer kind of woman, but that I also appreciate the nicer things even though I won’t get them for myself. It was the most delicious chocolate and dizzingly wonderful champagne I’ve ever had mostly because of the thoughtfulness behind it.

I’m still using the gorgeous umbrella my mom bought me about 15 yrs ago. It’s really pretty, I think she ordered it from some catalog. My b-day is in January, and opening the bright umbrella then was wonderful. Every time I open it I think of her. People comment on it too (is is splashed with bright flowers…not my normal style).

I quilt, so I enjoy getting a panel of something the recipient likes (coffee themed, or flowers, or cats or whatever), tossing some borders on it and simply quilting it. Not that expensive and it makes a very custom lap quilt for watching TV. Plus, because it is not so fancy the recipient actually uses it vs. feeling it is “too nice” to touch.

I enjoy giving and receiving books, mainly things I wouldn’t think to get normally (everyone I would get or gift books to are heavy library users, so the books are ‘out of the ordinary’).

Baked goods are awesome, because nowadays everyone is so busy, it means they actually took time to think about me and took time to make something, package it up, and give it to me. I’ve gotten the most delicious chicken stew as a gift, also a selection of Christmas cookies.

I do not like receiving gifts that make me have to DO something. Like a kit or project book or something like that. It just adds to my mental load.

Best gifts received: 1) A hand drawn comic made for me after a nice date. 2) A strange yet pretty handmade box. This box was just a decorated Altoids box, but it was so unique, thoughtful, personalized to me (i.e., thoughtfully done in colors and items I loved) and beautiful. I love it, have had it for over 16 years, and still enjoy looking at it.

Like many others above, I tend give books, especially to people I know well, and I think a lot about what they would really enjoy reading. If I don’t know someone well, but want to/am socially obliged to bring a gift, I generally go the (store-bought ‘cuz I’m lazy) edibles or flowers route.

I’m glad you had this as the FFT, PhDork, because I was a little surprised at my own best gifts answer, and it made me think I should be putting just a little more effort into homemade gifts.

Gexx, I will start infusing vodka with my excess Hungarian Hot Wax peppers tonight. Thanks so much! I owe you a gift idea.

My husband gives me awesome gifts – one year he got me a netbook and upgraded my mixer, thus insuring that I would be thinking of him whenever if web-browse or cook (which pretty much covers 80% my non-childcare time). He also gave me the necklace I currently wear every day.

My sister made quilted scarves out of my late father’s beloved designer shirts for each of us and our mother for Christmas the year after he died. I can’t really describe how special that is to me.

Things that didn’t seem great at the time sometimes turn out to be incredibly useful – a teddy bear from a highschool boyfriend for Valentine’s Day wasn’t creative or special, except that fifteen years later, I still sleep with it when my husband’s out of town or I’m feeling stressed or depressed. Also, my mother bought me a fake silver bracelet at a department store when I was twelve or thirteen for like five bucks, and I still wear it regularly.

I give a lot of food gifts. Lots of candy and cookies at the holidays. For weddings, I always buy on registry, and I make liberal use of Amazon wishlists too. I know some people think that violates the spirit of gift giving or something, but I really want to give people exactly what they want. When I’m broke though, it’s cookies for everyone.

- hand-drawn picture of a tree from an ex; I have it framed on my wall

- photograph my dad took of stained glass from his trip to Westminster Abbey (he got in trouble for taking pics); he had it enlarged and framed for me

- a Post Secret book because I wanted it to use to make a collage or various art projects (I was thinking of doing a “border” of secrets around the ceiling)

- guitar my dad gave me on his retirement, to say thanks for dealing with being dragged around the country (he was in the Air Force)

- necklace made entirely of seeds my parents got in Mexico

- fourth-row tickets to see Wicked in London (when I was visiting my parents who were living there; it was expensive, but wow…)

Best gifts given:

- pouch with messages: when I was 20, my mom and I were on really bad terms and we didn’t talk much. For her birthday that year, I made something special. I sewed a small, drawstring pouch, and I took several small bits of paper and used various colours of gel pens to write out all the reasons I love her. I’d write, “I love you because… you came to all of my choir concerts.” “I love you because… you have the most beautiful smile in the world.” etc. Then I glued the papers on matching bits of construction paper and put them all in the bag, and added a note to say to read one a day. I think I had about 50 or so in there.

- intimacy kit: my partner and I had a long distance relationship for awhile and could only have “intimate” time via the phone. For Valentine’s Day, I got a box and decorated it with magazine pictures of hearts, love words, etc. Inside, I put a candle, lube, tissues with hearts on them, a love letter, mini air freshener, etc.

- praise song collection: my dad had a haphazard collection of random Christian praise songs he liked from leading the youth group at his church, but many were in the wrong key or hand-written. I typed them all out in one standard form, made sure they were all in the right key, hole-punched them, alphabetised them, and put them in a binder with his favourite Bible verse written on the cover

- checked list: when I was 18, I was hospitalised for attempting suicide. In the hospital, we had to fill out a list of 100 things we wanted to do before we died. One thing on my list was watching my brother grow into a man. He was 10 at the time. I kept it all these years; this past Jan., he turned 18 and I checked it on my list with him (not really sure if that counts as giving a gift to him, but… I guess it feels like a gift for both of us)

This is such a great thread idea, and I’ve really loved reading everyone’s replies. ^^

I was just rethinking about this thread because my sister arrived from England and I realised that actually she gave me one of my best ever gifts, it’s a white box for jewellry (a word I can’t spell because I own next to none) but what I love about it is that she hand painted it with flowers and it’s gorgeous.

Also the single best ever gift was given not to me but to my 3 year old daughter by my brother – it’s a children’s story with her as the heroine complete with illustrations by his wife and it is quite incredible.

I love giving gifts. I’m currently making lots of flavored liquors for my family; I’m going to put them in little bottles and give baskets of booze to everyone. My cousin is allergic to gluten, and a zillion other things, so she can’t drink a lot of liquors, most of which have additives and stuff. I got reasonably good potato vodka and all gluten free stuff for her (but I guess all distilled liquor is gluten free? according to the liquor store man. But she told me she couldn’t drink grain liquor–whatever).

–Strawberry Vanilla-Bean Tequila
–Horseradish Vodka (for bloody marys)
–three pepper vodka–jalapenos, “hot long red pepper” from the market, and unidentified small hot orange pepper from the market. For my cousin who believe that in order to be a man, one must be able to withstand scorching hot peppery things. A few days ago my partner tasted it (I can’t take any kind of spicy heat) and freaked out because it was so spicy.
–Apple-Christmas Whiskey, with apples, a tiny piece of vanilla bean, a cinnamon stick, cloves, allspice, peppercorns, and honey
–Raspberry Vodka

The best gift that I ever got was one christmas, my whole family went to a spa in Niagara-on-the-Lake, and we all got massages and ate really fancy good food on the 2nd of January instead of giving anybody any gifts. It was a really good idea, and we were the only people in the whole fancy restaurant (apparently, January 2nd nobody goes out to dinner). And we got free champagne, and that’s all I need to be happy.

And last year, my cousin got me a tee-shirt that says, “My hear belongs to a rescue,” because she is a foster-mother for a rescue organization, the one that I got my Bubba Love through, and she’s the reason I got him. And he’s my soul mate, the light of my life.

I’ve found that in general, my partner gives me the best gifts, because he knows me best. He got me an ugly pin the first year we were dating–it had a beautiful jade leaf on it, but it was a gold-plated pin with the leaf on it, and the whole thing altogether was not pretty. Plus I don’t wear pins. But he told me that he got it for me because it looks like the pins that galadriel gives the hobbits in Lord of the Rings (the movie), and he knows that I’m a nerd and would love nerd-things (it was when we first started dating). He was right, I loved it. And I ended up getting the leaf removed and making it into a pendent for a necklace, which is really beautiful.

And one year for Valentine’s Day he was like, “So I know that this is Valentine’s Day and I think it’s stupid and I don’t want to give you a Valentine’s Day present, but I was on amazon the other day and saw this book, which I’ve read, which I really think you’d like, and it just happened to come in today, so here is a present that isn’t meant to be a Valentine’s Day gift.” And it was Naomi Klein’s No Logo, which I really loved. So that was a good one.

I believe in edible gifts, because you can eat them and they don’t take up any room. And eating is the best.

Harpies, thanks for letting me take a step through my memory banks of gifts – given and received – that I have really enjoyed.. I’ve enjoyed reading your own gifts received and given, and it’s interesting that hand-made and well thought out gifts seem to be the ones most mentioned.
I think this list maybe a little long.. but Dorky, when I look at the things I have loved the most, things that are hand-made rate highly.. so hand-made food stuffs, as far as I’m concerned, would be incredibly welcome!

The gifts I have received and loved include:
- a nail picture (it’s hard to explain, suffice to say it’s hand-made and in the shape of a boat and twined with colourful thread),
- handmade certificates to celebrate particular things (one that is a personal favourite is one for running),
- all the things my mum has knitted and made for me (I still wear them!),
- the herb garden my manpanion made for me from offcut building site leftovers,
- my Arsenal football jersey,
- the statue of La Lupina (the wolf that fed Romulus and Remus),
- a hand-made paper picture frame with a picture of my youngest brother (he would have been about 5), and
- home made dinners and other home made food items that have been made for me to celebrate various things.

In terms of gifts I’ve enjoyed giving, they include,
- various hand knitted items I’ve made for loved ones (in particular a scarf for my manpanion, and a jumper for a sister overseas),
- a charm bracelet with pink coloured beads and personally selected charms for a sister,
- my time to do something for/help out a loved one,
- football jerseys and other football paraphenalia (I seem to be surrounded by Liverpool fans! and here in Australia it can be hard to source some of the lesser known items, like bed sheets),
- taking a sister to watch a football game that had her football idol playing,
- Buzz Lightyear constume for my nephew (I never tired of “to infinity and beyond”, and he wore it so often), and
- a Lilo and Stitch toy, that seemed weird to me didn’t do much for my adult sensibilities but the youngster to whom it was for ran around with it so much and so often, having fun that we had to ask how to change the batteries in it from the manufacturer..

Sometimes I shine at gift giving… The ones that stick out would be:
1. I made this little stained glass panel out of autumn leaves and a few dead butterflies I found hiking. I layered everything so you could see through some of the parts and not some of the others. I had to take apart the butterflies, which was icky and smelled HORRIBLE. The whole thing was framed by this really fantastic old blue glass. I loved making it and, as far as I know, the bride I gave it to still loves it.
2. For Valentine’s one year, I had a west coast friend ship me my then manpanion’s favorite beer that he couldn’t get here on the east coast. He was completely surprised and very happy about it.

Favorite gifts received have almost always been hand made or experiences…
I still have and love a painted glass panel the above ex-manpanion made for me. There was also a trip to Vermont that wasn’t quite a “gift”, but I honestly can’t think of it as anything else. I was in the middle of doing too many things (working several different jobs and going to school), and I didn’t have to plan any of it. There was camping and hiking and lots of wonderful memories. Other people have done some really fantastic things like surprise visits from out of state and meals cooked.

My sister adores the artist Candy Jernigan, so for her 18th I got her her book, ‘Evidence’. When she opened the present, she turned to me and said, ‘I didn’t think you were actually listening to me!’ and perhaps, that is the greatest present of all? ;P

These are such fun comments, and I’m reassured that my modest DIY presents seem nicer to others than they do to me. It’s funny, because I love getting edibles and hand-made things, but I feel very self-conscious about giving them.

My mostest beloved gift: I was probably all of nine years old at the time, and my self-described “eccentric” Uncle Vance had given me and my three siblings three Oz books the previous year. Yup, gave the four of us three books. None of my sibs liked them (at the time) but I LOVED them. The year of the bestest present ever, Uncle Vance gave me (second daughter and middle child!) my own present, and my three sibs a joint gift. Thirteen Oz books, half of them first-editions. It was the most awesome thing ever! RIP Beloved Uncle Vance.

OH, Dorkie, don’t feel self-conscious at all-in fact, feel proud that you have the skills and knowledge of your gift recipients to make them things they love! Only a crass consumerist would be disappointed to receive a handmade gift. Btw, do you have my address?

Best Given: I was quite pleased with myself two Christmases ago. They came out with picture frames the size and shape of vinyl album covers. Once upon a time my dad was a rock musician and then a solo folk-rock artist. He gave it up professionally when he and my mom hit four kids, and misses it even though he loves the field he’s in. So I dug out one of his old albums- the one with a cover drawn by an artist he’d known since high school who died in an accident almost immediately after completing it. It’s probably the only thing hanging on the walls at my parents house that HE put up (he’s not terribly decorative).
Best Received: I’d just met this couple at my school. I’d hung out with them a couple of times because our daughters are the same age and I didn’t really know anyone else, except my family, in the area. There were a number of points on which we disagreed, heatedly,about the world in general and I wasn’t sure if they really wanted to be friends with someone who didn’t know when to shut up and nod politely. But then the wife gave me two of the simplest and most elegant tea mugs I’ve ever seen, a tea ball, and three packs of loose tea she’d chosen and blended herself at a local tea shop. The fact that I liked tea was about all she knew about me other than some strong opinions (and that I can get rather tactless about expressing them). So she really went out of her way and put some hard thought into something nice I might actually like. Two years later, we’re still drinking tea together and vehemently arguing reproductive bio-ethics and the pros and cons of the current health-care system, trading child care, and going for girls night at the start of every school quarter. It was the gesture behind the gift, I guess. The acceptance she was communicating and an invitation to meet on the common ground we could find.

Best gift received – was probably from my aunt. She did all sorts of crafty things, and most years we got personalized homemade Christmas ornaments. But one year, it wasn’t ornaments. I got bookends. This was a favorite gift of mine even after all these years for two reasons: 1 – I love books! and 2 – it was different from what my sister got! We are not twins but we are only one year apart, and every year we get (from everyone!) the same gift, usually in different colors. I don’t remember what my sister got, but I do know it was not bookends! PS, I still have those bookends, 30+ years later!

Best gift I ever gave, I think was to my goddaughter K when she was five. A tea set – real ceramic, not plastic, with 4 teeny tiny cups, saucers and cookie plates, plus the teapot, sugar bowl, and cream pitcher. Two weeks later her mother called me and said I had to tell her where I got it, because K’s younger sister had broken one of the cups and K was crying unconsoleably over it. She had to go out and buy a whole extra set for “spare parts”.

I’ve just gotten out my best gift ever, to hang on the wall. My best friend, my only from-high school friend, gave it to me two years ago. It’s cross stitched text that says ‘True but Harsh but Fair’, which was her motto for me. It has hearts down the right side. The heart in the middle has bled into the fabric and she ran out of black so the last word is navy blue. Those things make me love it so much more.

She really doesn’t like to do cross stitch. But she knows I’m crafty and she wanted to do something special for me. She gave it to me the day my dad died (which we didn’t know yet) and a week before she broke up with her long term boyfriend in a very traumatic way. The six months either side of that gift were some of the most intense (negative) months of my life, and our friendship was one of the bright points and I think it made us stronger as friends. I will admit to getting a bit teary as I re-framed it this week.

For a friend’s birthday recently I made a super-simple t-shirt scrap scarf (tutorial here: http://bit.ly/10m388). It cost nothing but an hour of time, and a little bit of thought about her favorite color, and a little bit of fun. She *adored* it way more than I ever expected. Reading this thread makes me remember–even though it’s a cliche– “it’s the thought that counts.”

Best gifts received: so many! Glorious needlepoint gifts from much beloved Becky that make our house more beautiful; another friend’s first quilt project, which was a gift for my first child’s birth; the complete Oxford English Dictionary (all 20 volumes – super expensive and luxurious, and oh, so coveted); a book that my friends put together for my bridal shower many years ago – each page was created by a different friend, and it is one of my favorite things in the whole world; a book of photos and memories that a high school friend put together for me several years ago. Then I can’t count the number of wonderful gifts I’ve gotten from my mother, especially trips.

Best gifts given: one of my favorites is the trip I surprised my then-fiance (now-husband) with for his birthday one year. He was working a high-pressured job that sucked and was soul-crushing, but in his spare time he loved video games and was running a news site about them. So at one point he drooled over an announcement of this ultra-cool conference of all these amazing game design folks getting together to discuss game theories and high-level stuff. He looked so envious of that conference. So I secretly got him a press pass, bought him a plane ticket, got the okay for the time off from his boss, and arranged for him to stay with his grandmother (who happened to live in the same city as the conference). It was the only time his grandmother has ever kept a secret. When I sprang it on him at his birthday dinner, he was so overcome, he cried. No one had ever done anything like that for him. It rocked. I’ve liked other gifts I gave, and I try to do gifts that reflect something the person has said or expressed interest in in the last year (books or otherwise) but that one is the one I’m proudest of.