Valentine's Day is this Friday, in case you missed the barrage of ads for flowers, chocolates, and sparkly things in your inbox. This holiday is touted as being a day of romance, a celebration of love. But is love really about increasing the sales of the card or candy industry? Expressions of love ideally happen every day, not just on February 14th.

If you want your relationship to be loving, it's important to make a effort all the time. Love involves some self-sacrifice and putting the needs of your partner before your own. If both people in a relationship do this, both people's needs are met, and both feel nurtured and loved. Is it one-sided sometimes? Sure it is. When we're sick or stressed it's natural to turn the focus inward simply to cope. Hopefully our partner understands, and can be supportive. When your partner is sick or stressed, be the nurturer. Be kind. Be compassionate. Be the caretaker you would wish for yourself.

In my opinion, a genuine expression of love is doing something beyond what you would normally do in order to make someone else happy. In a relationship, partners tend to evolve into certain roles and work in a complementary way so that all the bases are covered. Doing some of these basic tasks are important for functioning as a family, but they don't count as "loving". If you regularly vacuum and change the sheets, or mow the lawn, it doesn't really count as a loving gesture. If, however, the mower one day changes the sheets, well then! Truly loving gestures require us to extend ourselves in some way. So this is my challenge to you: start extending yourself. Go beyond the usual and do something meaningful. It will enhance your relationship far more than a box of chocolates. (But still get the box of chocolates, because they're good too!)