Sunday, June 24, 2012

Along with anxieties and hurts, we also bring our disappointments to
God. If anxieties focus on what 'might happen', and hurts focus on what
'has happened', disappointments focus on what 'has not happened'..
acknowledging or naming our disappointment to God is an important
move...because, many of us, if we don't bring our disappointment 'to'
God, we will blame our disappointment 'on' God, alienating ourselves
from our best hope of comfort and strength... (p119-120/Naked
Spirituality/Brian McLaren)

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

If my brother were alive today, we would be celebrating his 32nd birthday.

How interesting. This year marks the point where he has been gone for as long as he had been alive.

What do I remember about him? Not much, to be honest. I was 13.

I grieve not because I miss him, but rather because we lost the opportunity to create more memories together. Because we lost the opportunity to share and experience life together. Simply, lost opportunities.

The dead they sleep...

The dead they sleep a long, long sleep;
The dead they rest, and their rest is deep;
The dead have peace, but the living weep.
~Samuel Hoffenstein

Friday, March 9, 2012

Someone posted on Facebook to an article with the heading, "Asian Women Reveal to Keeping a Man Happy". I clicked on it, ready to laugh and roll my eyes at it, thinking it's probably some lame-ass misogynistic article reminiscent of Malaysia's "Obedient Wives Club".

Well, it probably does sound quite subservient on first read. But then I had a good think about it, and realise in some way, I agree with each general statements/headings, albeit with some change to the details or interpretation. Those of you who know me personally will never think 'subservient' or
'demure' as words to describe me (I think 'raging', 'manic', 'loud',
'raucous' would come to mind before 'subservient' or 'demure') but here's the caveat - I think both parties within a marriage should adhere to these statements for a successful marriage.

So here we go!

Your man is king: "Remember that your man/husband comes first – before you, your parents, your outside interests or even your children." It's not saying that you must let your children go hungry if your husband demands sex then and there. Many marriages breakdown when the children leave the nest, because couples have spent the last few decades focusing on the needs of the children or community that they had forgotten who they had married and why. A more apt statement would be "Prioritise your marriage".

Rise early: "Get up in the morning before your man does. Make sure you prepare a
healthy breakfast so he gets a good start on the day. Even if you have
to leave before him, make sure he has a nice breakfast waiting for him
when he comes into the kitchen in the morning".Again, this works both ways. Whoever gets up and gets to the kitchen first, make breakfast-lah. It just so happens that it often ends up being me.

Never nag: "Never, ever. If he wants to stop off after work and have a few drinks
with his buddies, that’s his business. If he forgot to take out the
garbage – do it yourself."Haha! This I must admit is not my forte - I maintain my stance that the ONLY reason women nag is because men do not respond when you tell them nicely once! I only agree that there are some things not worth nagging on - pick your battles wisely!

Be at home: "Make sure you’re always at home when he
gets in from a hard day at the office. Even if you are working, make
sure you get home to your man/husband as soon as possible."Again, is this not a two-way thing? It's certainly important to spend time together, and especially nice when the other party has had a shitty day at work. Maybe not necessarily be at home, but just be there.

Smile: "Always greet your man with a smile on your face and, if you can, a cold drink in your hand." Hahah I find this amusing - "if you can, a cold drink in your hand". This is quite an "abuthennnn" statement - of course a smile if better than a sulk right! And of course, it works both ways. Especially after a long (potentially crummy) day at work, no one wants to come home and see a sulking, moody husband/wife - might evoke a "oh hell - what did I come home to?" feeling of dread)

Dinner Ready: "If you are home, or get home
first, always have a delicious dinner ready to be served. And if he
comes home feeling tense, give him a massage to ease his aches and
pains"Totally agree with this statement, except that it differs from couple to couple. In my family, I am the cook, so I make it a point to get dinner ready. I personally do enjoy the satisfaction that the Husband enjoys and shows gratitude for his meal. In other families, the husbands do it, which isn't an issue. And I have no issues asking the Husband for a massage when I come home feeling tense, and vice versa.

Let him hang with friends: "If your man wants to have his buddies over for a night of poker, or
football, or video games, don’t get mad. Encourage it and make sure
you’ve got lots of sandwiches and cold beer on hand to serve them".I suppose I agree with this statement possibly because the Husband hardly does this, so when he does, it's perfectly fine. It's a problem if this is happening a few nights each week though. But it's certainly good for guys to hang out - keeps them manly HAHA

Ask First: "Always ask him first before you go spending his hard-earned money, or
even your hard-earned money, to buy something for yourself". This works both ways. It's not about asking for permission, but having a discussion. We have a general rule that if either one wants to spend above a certain amount, we need to discuss it first.

Remote Control: "Let him choose the programs you watch on television. The television is
man’s domain… he should be in charge. And only Netflix/rent HIS
favorite movies or TV shows".I lied - I don't agree with all the statements - I disagree with this one!

Obey: "Don’t do things your husband doesn’t approve of. And don’t complain
about it. If he doesn’t want you wasting your time watching soap operas
or having coffee with a neighbor, obey him. You’ll both be happier for
it".Again, this works both ways, dear husbands and wives!

Wild in bed: " Be a temptress in bed. I he likes you in sexy lingerie, wear it. Be
shy and demure when you’re out in public, but once the lights are out,
let him know he’s the only man in the world who can please you"I don't know about the, "be shy and demure when you're out in public" part - it's hilarious! But who on earth would have advised the opposite of 'wild in bed' - e.g. "lie there like a dead fish"

Know sports: "Bone up on sports so you’ll have something to talk about. But always let him start the conversation".Perhaps this is could be more aptly named, "show (or if necessary, feign) interest in his/her interests.

Keep fit: "Keep yourself in shape and always dress nicely so you’ll be a wife any husband would be proud to have". Again, applicable for both parties - ideally, I'd rather have a hottie instead of a flabbie; a stud instead of a dud; a hunk instead of chunk.

Cleaning: "Keep your home spic and span at all times. It should look like you’re
expecting company. And the laundry should always be done. Your man
should never have to look for clean socks or underwear and his shirts
should all be ironed – by you".Uhm.... I can't even get my own clothes ironed, and I wouldn't even suspect a thing if our house got ransacked. Looks like this is another one I can't seem to agree with. Oops.

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

We woke up this morning to find our mousetrap was successful - a mouse had been caught. No longer than my index finger, it was tiny.

I left the Husband to dispose of the mouse while I took Angus out for a walk. When I got back, the Husband told me about how when he chucked the mouse into the bin, he realised it was still alive when it scuttled deeper into the bin bag. He thought he saw the mouse only using it's front legs, his hind legs seemingly paralysed. How horrible.

I was adamant that if the mouse was still alive after injuries sustained from the mousetrap, a quick death must ensue. It really is the most decent thing to do, as opposed to have it slowly die :(

I came home in the evening by myself, and lo and behold, the mousetrap had caught yet another mouse (egad!!). This time, the mouse was clearly still alive, and so I could not bear to leave it there in the mousetrap until the Husband came home.

I summoned all the nerves I had, and released the mouse from the trap into a couple of plastic bags double-bagged (shrieking in the process). How incredibly traumatic, I proceeded to smack it against a metal surface 20-30 times until I was certain it could not be anything but dead.

When I was finished, my hands were trembling and my heart was pounding. So stressful and traumatic :(