This is an outlet for my spinning mind, for me to just let out what goes inside my head and my heart. I will be personal, I will be blunt and I will be opinionated, but I will try my best to be funny too, just to compensate. Read, enjoy (I hope!) and join in!

Posts Tagged With: learning

In the past, we worked hard to put the world in which we live in into some kind of order. We had the role of everyone in society very well established (regardless if that was done in a fair way or not). We all knew what to expect of things, we all knew what was right and what was wrong.

Nowadays, everyone believes – greatly because we are slowly making every single new generation believe – that we can be and do everything we want. Everything. Anything. The choices are endless.

This tends to make people take an established rule, something that served a purpose at some point, and break it apart, sometimes purely just because they feel they can. It’s fun. After all, rules are meant to be broken, right?

Breaking rules that no longer fit community/society life and transforming them into rules that do is absolutely fine in my book. Transforming things for the sake of it and for the detriment of well-established beliefs that make total sense is quite another.

Take prejudice, for example. People around the entire world suffer from it. It’s incredible that in this day and age we are still discussing it. And yet, people feel they have the right to do the atrocious, to break boundaries that are nobody’s to break, to try and feel superior when we are all the same.

We have come from nothing (as my dad liked to explain to me when I was a child, the world began with the explosion of atoms and that’s that. Whenever I questioned a God, he would just shrug and show no commitment). We built and created so much. And now, by either being careless or perhaps by just being far too innovative and too daring (far more than we actually need), we are damaging, slowly, the good foundations we have always had. Again, I’m not talking about keeping what no longer fits, but about destroying what still fits.

Ok, ok… I know we have come a long way on many aspects of life in society and the way our communities work around the world. However, I can’t stop thinking that sometimes it feels like we are just taking all that we have worked for and smashing it, like you would smash a brick on a wall. And after every time we do it, our foundations, our purpose, our reasons for being are all there, in millions of pieces. The rules are broken. And we all take a tiny piece of that brick to make with it whatever we want. Once broken, all the pieces flying in the air might make for an amazing view, but once they fall on the floor, what exactly are we left with?

I’ve always been known for being honest, sometimes brutally, even. I like to tell the truth, as I find it hard to hide things. This approach has brought me problems in life, especially in my relationships with people. I tend to just blurt out whatever is going on in my mind, without giving it a second thought. Indeed, a second after the sentence is out there, I regret saying it. And then it’s too late. As they say, there are 5 things that you can never get back: the stone, after it’s thrown, the occasion, after it’s missed, the time, after it’s gone, a person, after they die and a word, after it’s said. And for me, the word is the one I have always struggled to control.

It’s funny that I have become more and more aware of this with the years. I now watch myself and I can actually feel myself thinking something over before getting it out of my mouth. It’s almost like my thoughts now go through a process and the way they make from the brain to my mouth is full of filters. I have realised, thank God, that I am getting better at it. And I have also learnt a valuable lesson with the English people: sometimes, the silence is the best way to say something without making any sound.

My job has also contributed to my learning of this new skill. I am an Account Executive in an advertising agency and I spend my days dealing with clients, who are extremely valuable to the business and deserve the best treatment, even when they aim to drive us nuts. As an Account Exec, you need to be diplomatic and also be able to tell the truth, but in a way that the words you use make whatever it is not sound so bad. The agency I work at is called Happy Creative and I now have an expression for when I have to say something on an email but need to make it sound better. I type whatever I really have to say and then go over it again and “happify” it! Job done! When talking to people, I use the same approach, which makes my thought process very complicated… I need to first figure out what I have to say and then before saying it, I need to quickly choose the best words to say it. It can be a bit tiring, but once you get used to it, you start doing it unconsciously.

I think that the fact that I’m learning how to be more careful with my words is an achievement. I still feel I have a long way to go, but long gone is the Marilia that just said however bad my thoughts were to the people in front of me. I now consider things and actually select what I’m going to say, or if I should say anything at all. This has made me a more controlled person and, overall, a fairer person too, as many times what we think in one second changes on the next. I’m still very honest and I think I always will be. I’m just now more able to make honesty sound pretty.

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People normally see me as an extrovert but I have my quiet moments and I really enjoy them. I like to have my own space and always have it organised within my own little rules (this may be better translated as a mild OCD!). I like listening and talking to people and I love giving advice, even when they are not exactly asking for my help (a bit nosey, I know, but with good intentions!). I don't like lies and I hate peas and motorways with a passion. I love picnics, photography, butterflies, music, Jack Nicholson and Meryl Streep (not necessarily together), written words, making lists, the sea, the sunset, trees and people watching. Oh, and I have a serious passion for whistling.