Sunday, November 2, 2014

OFF THE WIRE
An up-and-coming militant organization, Horner G6S Mercenary Incorporated, or simply known as G6S, which has known ties to the U.S. military, says it is now aggressively hiring the general public for the specific purpose of killing those affiliated with the Islamic State. The company is offering a mind-blowing starting pay of $500,000 dollars per year regardless of your history or previous background. Their only requirement, is you kill members of ISIS. Lots and lots of them.

G6S, owned and operated by 35-year-old Paul Horner of Phoenix, Arizona, spoke with MSNBC today and complained of President Barack Obama’s handling of the situation with ISIS.

“That Muslim president of ours is not doing enough to put an end to ISIS, and for obvious reasons, he’s Muslim. Well, that will all change with what we are accomplishing over there in the Islamic State. We’ll be glad to pick up the slack of Obama to protect this country like any real president should.”

Gwen Hawkins, who recently signed up with G6S back in May, told CNN that she is ready to die for her country.
“I’d honestly settle for being a human hostage bomb. Pop a bomb inside my stomach, point me in the proper direction toward getting captured, and then detonate once inside. It’d solve my problem of having a depressing and mundane life and would probably lead to an acceleration of earnings that I could only obtain via a life insurance policy, which I’m not eligible for given my medical history. That money would help my friends and family more than I ever could. Actually, I’ll have to talk to G65’s human resource department to see if they would be willing to pay me extra for something like this or at least ensure that my income would be distributed appropriately.”

Jason McKay, who signed up for G6S last month, and received his complimentary iPhone 6, told Fox News he will be injecting himself with the Ebola virus, purposely captured by the Islamic State and inflict as many casualties as possible.

“I will be injecting myself with Ebola and then apprehended by Isis so I can laugh as they get splattered in my toxic blood as the cut off my head. Also, I am a pilot who will attempt to spread the Ebola virus by air and also cover their skies with poisonous chemtrails.”

G6S operative Michael D. Adams told reporters he force feeds bacon to captured members of ISIS since the teachings of the Quran do not allow it.

“Threatening those scum with pork and bacon is a great way to gain important intelligence about their operations before we slaughter them.”

At a press conference in Phoenix on Monday, Horner was more than happy to explain purpose of his organization.

“What we are doing is good versus evil, plain and simple,” Horner told reporters. “We will be cruel to ISIS, and through our cruelty they will know who we are… And the the Islamic State will fear us. ISIS ain’t got no humanity. They’re the foot soldiers of an Islamic-extremist-hating mass murdering maniac. And they need to be destroyed. And that’s why each and every son of a b*tch associated with this Islamic State, they’re going to die. We will be cruel to ISIS, and through our cruelty they will know who we are. And they will find evidence of our cruelty in the disemboweled, dismembered, disfigured bodies of their brothers that we leave behind us. ISIS won’t be able to help themselves but imagine the cruelty their brothers endured at our hands, and our boot heels, and the edge of our knives. And they will be sickened by us. And they will talk about us. And they will fear us. When members of ISIS close their eyes at night and are tortured by their subconscious with the evil they have done, it will be with thoughts of us they are tortured with.”

Every day more and more individuals have been signing up for this almost certain death sentence. On a lighter note, early this month a Christian organization‘s mascot, Fappy The Anti-Mastubation Dolphin, made the journey with G6S to the Middle East. Fappy told reporters that when he is not fighting ISIS, he is traveling around the country speaking to elementary school children about the dangers and consequences of masturbation.

“I don’t agree with what they’re doing over there, but my main concern, and what I’m willing to die for, is to stop self-rape in the world,” Fappy said. “They’re living in the middle of nowhere. They can’t have sex. It’s extremely hot. The living conditions are horrible. All they do is die and kill, and to top it off they have sand in underwear at all times. It’s only a matter of time before one of them breaks down and starts masturbating, but not on my watch.”

It’s unclear who the Horner G6S Mercenary Company is funded by but reliable sources claim it is none other than billionaire Ross Perot. Political analysts speculate this could be initial efforts for a presidential run in 2016.

Even though the group, Horner G6S Mercenary Incorporated, releases no data to the public or provides numbers of total ISIS members killed, Horner does say it is in the tens of thousands with that number growing rapidly every day.

With more than 50,000 mercenaries joining since the company was incorporated in January of 2013, G6S is always looking for more recruits. Please submit your resume along with why you want to kill members of ISIS, and someone will contact you shortly, click here. For any questions or comments please call (785) 273-0325.
- See more at: http://nationalreport.net/us-company-hiring-mercenaries-to-kill-isis-starting-pay-500kyr/#sthash.hzlqH2LK.dpuf

An up-and-coming militant organization, Horner G6S Mercenary Incorporated, or simply known as G6S,
which has known ties to the U.S. military, says it is now aggressively
hiring the general public for the specific purpose of killing those
affiliated with the Islamic State. The company is offering a
mind-blowing starting pay of $500,000 dollars per year regardless of
your history or previous background. Their only requirement, is you kill
members of ISIS. Lots and lots of them.
G6S, owned and operated by 35-year-old Paul Horner of Phoenix, Arizona, spoke with MSNBC today and complained of President Barack Obama’s handling of the situation with ISIS.
“That Muslim president of ours is not doing enough to put an end to
ISIS, and for obvious reasons, he’s Muslim. Well, that will all change
with what we are accomplishing over there in the Islamic State. We’ll be
glad to pick up the slack of Obama to protect this country like any
real president should.”
Gwen Hawkins, who recently signed up with G6S back in May, told CNN that she is ready to die for her country.
- See more at: http://nationalreport.net/us-company-hiring-mercenaries-to-kill-isis-starting-pay-500kyr/#sthash.hzlqH2LK.dpuf

U.S.
Company Hiring Mercenaries To Kill ISIS; Starting Pay $500K/yr – Only
Requirement Is To Kill Members Of ISIS - See more at:
http://nationalreport.net/us-company-hiring-mercenaries-to-kill-isis-starting-pay-500kyr/#sthash.ACjAQh5M.dpuf