Here’s one of life’s secrets: If you’re the giver or receiver of “Why,” it doesn’t matter.

“Why” rarely, if ever, explains things to anyone’s satisfaction.

If you ask “Why,” you get excuses or an explanation you don’t want to hear. When you are asked “Why,” your answers leave everyone hungry for more.

Reminds me of my DJ days . . . Ask anyone who has worked in radio about requests. They will tell you that, by and large, radio stations don’t take requests even though they suggest they do. Even when they have a request hour, they often can’t fulfill the request for a variety of reasons.

I used to explain to callers why I couldn’t play their song. “Why?” was their question. “It just played 10 minutes ago,” “We don’t have that song in our library,” etc. Their “Whys” continued. I even explained to people that I would be fired if I played that song. Their response was, “Play it anyway!” Why didn’t matter. My solution to this dilemma was to say, “Thanks for the request” and move on to the next caller.

When you are hell bent on getting a specific answer, “Why” will never explain, to your satisfaction, “Why not?”

“Why” will almost always get you an excuse. And when it doesn’t, the answer will rarely satisfy your request.

Better to ask “How” questions. “How do I get my song played?” “How did we get to this point in our relationship?” “How can we avoid those pitfalls in the future?”

How is requesting a process – a path to walk. Why keeps you going in circles.

Whether you take the advice of the singing group, the Eagles (I CAN’T TELL YOU WHY), or my suggestion, you’ll wonder how you ever asked “Why” questions.