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Saturday, October 3, 2009

Talking about birth with a 4 year old

Besides the fact that our son is wishing I will have a car instead of a baby, he has been very curious about the whole process. He was born by emergency c-section and I've had to explain this to him. There was a lot of medical intervention and it was a scary experience. In the end we ended up with a beautiful, healthy little boy. I've been talking to him about his sibling, who is due in February 2010. We are 20 weeks now. This time we have a midwife, I feel more empowered and I know nothing really goes according to plan when it comes to this stuff, but we are aiming for a natural birth this time with as little intervention as possible.

Tonight, my little boy and I are were having our nightly snuggle, quietly, in the dark and he says,"Mommy, I don't want them to cut you this time." I was floored for a second. I assured him that it did not hurt me, and that we were all good and it was ok. He said again, "I think it would be better if the baby was born the other way this time - will it hurt you?" and he nestled in. I told him that, yes, it would hurt me a little, and I would have to work pretty hard - but only for a little while - and then we would have our baby. We snuggled for a bit, he, lying on my belly, listening and his sibling giving him little love taps. It is a moment that will be emblazoned in my memory forever.

So I ask - where does a 4 year old gain this insight and feeling?

Books we've been reading - It's not the Stork and Being Born - two great books that beautifully illustrate the thigs you need to talk about, in a gentle and informative way.

We have our ultrasound on Tuesday - and I can't wait for our son to see the baby this way too. These are special times.