Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Say Their Zimbabwe Vine Flu Telethon Raised Over $100 Million

A photo of the $100 million that Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart raised through the Zimbabwe Vine Flu Telethon.

MASVINGO, Zimbabwe - The stars of the Twilight vampire movie series Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are thrilled to announce that their recent vine flu telethon in Zimbabwe was a tremendous success.

The two young white folks helped raise over $100 million to fight the dreaded vine flu which has affected over 70 percent of the nation's population.

The good doctor was asked by a French journalist, Maurice Du Pierre, how he could justify buying a basketball court with telethon money that was donated to help in the fight against vine flu. Dr. Pupumufu shrugged his shoulders and remarked, "Well, I guess you got me on that one huh bub."

The doctor was then asked if that meant that he would not be spending any vine flu telethon money on a basketball court.

Dr. Pupumufu grinned and replied that no it meant that he would not talk about it anymore and he further added that if he wanted to take some of the damn vine flu telethon money and build a damn friggin basketball court then that was his business and no one, especially a baboon ugly journalist from France was going to keep him from realizing his boyhood dream.

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart left Zimbabwe and will travel to Genoa, Italy, where they will participate in a wine flu telethon.

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)