Thursday, April 21, 2005

Satan disappointed in new Pope

Speaking at a news conference in hell, Satan expressed deep sadness that the Catholic church did not chose a Pope that was more open to dialogue with evil. "The selection of this Pope shows that me and my minions are more willing to engage in temptation..I mean cooperation than the Catholic church."

At one point Satan almost broke down in tears as he described his failed attempts to get the Catholic church to accept modern notions of compassion like euthansia for the afflicted, abortion for the unwanted and a clergy open to all who might want to join. "And what is the creed of the Church? That is for the Grand Inquisitor to decide. Everything else - especially faithful attempts to question and understand the faith itself - is "human trickery." It would be hard to over-state the radicalism of this decision."

"Until the church is more willing to accept pure evil there will be those who will feel left out of their club", Satan said.