No one ever asks So nobody knows what the girl with the sign out is selling And she isn’t telling She picks up a plate And serves up a tribute to something she hates and wouldn’t live without Then we’re on our way, to a play, we’re off to a play She might as well have a gun to her head As she slowly gets out of the car I’ve never seen anything like it before It’s like suddenly her misery isn’t funny anymore And we’re not in the money anymore The stage is a mess (What a dump, such a hell of a mess) The heroine trips on the hem of the dress she is wearing I’m past caring And he gets a laugh (What a joke, it’s a laugh and a half) With a throwaway line about his bitter, better half as she stumbles off And out of the way, in a play, we’re in a play She might as well have a knife to her throat As she tells me that I’ve been unfair I’ve never heard anything like it before It’s like suddenly her misery isn’t funny anymore And we’re not in the money anymore

I remember that meatbag blood and bone factory Tightening around my soul Skin swamp bubbling sweat soaked pillory Desperate to keep control Oh it’s such a thrill To feel incorporeal Do I miss that pain wracked sad sack simpering Utterly bereft of charm With a heap of broken junk under each arm Not now that Chainsaw Sally left me shattered in the alley Chainsaw Sally left me shattered in the alley Chainsaw Sally left me shattered in the alley and blue I got nothing left to carry Chainsaw Sally left me shattered in the alley Chainsaw Sally left me shattered in the alley Chainsaw Sally left me shattered in the alley and blue Such a sweet, sweet thing I used to lie awake counting my breath out loud at night Praying I don’t run out I could hear each cell of my substance whispering Plans to sell me out I was so afraid To lose the mess I’d made I cut off my nose my legs my hands And my friends to spite my face With the cast of “Touched By An Angel” to give me grace But now that Chainsaw Sally left me shattered in the alley Chainsaw Sally left me shattered in the alley Chainsaw Sally left me shattered in the alley and blue I got no reason to worry Chainsaw Sally left me shattered in the alley Chainsaw Sally left me shattered in the alley Chainsaw Sally left me shattered in the alley and blue Such a sweet, sweet thing

I saw the brilliant green flash In the depths of the ‘80s When things could have gone either way The world crackled with energy While I tried to appear to be Brooding and restless and cunning First I buried a man it was not time to bury Then carried a weight I was not fit to carry I fought with him more than I’d fought him alive Now all of a sudden I’m sunning It’s a clear blue sky I’m such a lucky guy Could you stand any more sun? It shines a perfect beam Down on my routine I think I found the perfect sun It reflects off a boy on the verge of forgetting He has the whole world by the tail He can still name his monsters in roughly the order That they were first met and defeated. When a man selling Jesus spits hate at his brother He knows one of these things is not like the other He’s cracked the strong magic that got him this far He knows love was all that he needed

Former Bicycle Thief and current Misbelieves collaborator, David Keith, has written and recorded a new song. It’s brilliant — I can’t get it out of my head, and I suggest you get it in your head too. Listen to “Mr. Universe Has Got the Blues” at The Fever of Phineas.

I love covers! The way a pop song can be bent to create something new that changes the way you hear the original. So it’s very satisfying to hear covers of my songs. Here are a few recent covers of some very old songs:

The Arcturus recorded a version of Bicycle Thieves’ Different Movies. Be sure to check out the other songs by The Arcturus. “Worst Ever” is one of my favorites.

Big thanks to the responsible parties for sharing these recordings; it means a lot to me. I encourage anyone with the inclination to create covers, mashups, or parodies of anything on this site, and will happily post them here.