I understand women take comfort in Miraclesuit, which claims to make you “look 10 lbs. lighter in 10 seconds” through the magic of spandex, along with the “figure flattering use of prints and strategic use of shirring and draping.”

I’m not sure whether I should be insulted or encouraged that my wife told me she’s heard there’s now a suit that does the same thing for men in trunks. Furious Googling still has not turned up that male miracle.

Ironically, in my teens and 20s, I hated wearing bathing suits because I thought I was too skinny.

Now, wielding a 50-ish gut, there’s a different reason to dread the suit.

Still, despite not having a new body for this summer, a new bathing suit couldn’t hurt.

The fashion experts at Esquire suggest shopping for a suit with bold patterns — maybe stripes or paisley.

Apparently, men’s trunks also are a bit shorter this year than the “board shorts” that reach to a man’s knees.

And most agree that Speedos look best on teenagers and competitive swimmers.