OK, you’ve snorted some pure ooshta and jacked half a deck of primo vibrancy in some of Perth’s most secret small bars. You’ve eaten in tiny Tapas joints, so hole in the wall, that you’re not sure whether to insert your cock, or pick up your order of Pintxos a la San Sebastian. You may even have brawled with fellow beret wearers at Ellingtons Jazz Club, flatting fifths with one hand while administering ninja death chops with the other. Undoubtedly you will have then kicked on in the most irony soaked fashion to the Carlisle Swingers Club, (corkage $100, no outside whips) where you blag your way in even though you don’t have the compulsory woman to share around which is the usual entry fee. And despite being sated by a (literal) convoy of Lathlain housefraus, the watery absinthe they’ve had on tap has you wondering whether to murder the taxi driver (who disturbingly looks like an Egyptian Rob Broadfield) or tip in a ridiculously over the top fashion after the trip home. You choose the latter as he has not objected to driving you around the cobbled laneways of Nuevo East Perth yelling out “Cunt!” and howling like a wolf. For 40 minutes. Sound familiar? Yes, I know, all very same ole, same ole, ultra boring and sooooooooooo very Perth.

But what does the Perth hipster do for ooshta AFTER he gets back home to the Juliet balconeyed Highgate fuckpad? Of course he listens to old vinyl on a deliciously retro 80’s, or better still 70’s turntable. Some Frank S, a lot of Dean M, some Herb A, Johnny C and hideous 60’s compilations he wouldn’t dream of soiling his ipod with.

I managed to join that elite group when I got an old Onkyo for zero dollars from a Fremantle antique shop yesterday. (it seemed to not be working, but the belt had just slipped off.) It’s so outre, it doesn’t even have a cassette player! If you haven’t got into the old vinyl/turntable scene already, you may be too late, as both are skyrocketing in price. Yes, $5 for Cocktail International is a skyrocketing price.

“Herb Alpert looks like a Latin, but isn’t…” begin the liner notes. Which may explain his painfully pedestrian blowing of Hello Dolly. And a Cocktail International track may segue obscenely from Stranger in the Night to a few bars of Monday Monday before plunging insanely into The Sun aint Gonna Shine Anymore. But no matter, the sound is rich, fat, superb and the circle of vibrancy goes on… And the SF indicator? I’ve no idea. It flashes purple sometimes.

141 Responses to Onkyo, The Indoor Ooshta

Oh-wee, that is some sweet ooshta. Trés hip. Like you says, people hand over good money for a radiogram from the 60s or 70s. All you need to complete it is either a reel-to-reel TEAC tape recorder or a top-loading cassette deck by Sony or Akai. I too have some vintage hi-fi from the 70s myself: a Pioneer amp and turntable, Kenwood tuner and a Sanyo top-load cassette recorder, without Dolby! And it all still works.

And TLA, is that purple indicator for quadrophonic sound? If that is, then you’ve snared yourself a fine bargain! In any case, with the groovin’ walnut finish, you’ve done well.

I threw out a 70s Onkyo about nine months ago during a house move. The turntable motor was fucked. Kinda regret it now, though I am happy with my Sony component system. Even with a pair of cheap Philips speakers it’s as loud as hell with good definition.

‘I hugged myself, I laughed until I cried, I ooshta’d till I had to change my dress for something less floral’. Momentary perusal of a book review induces ruptured bile gland in Perth man, 25. OOoooossshhhttaaaaa, as they say.

Freo antique shoppe saw you coming, LA. I always wondered about the potential sound-stopping power of those 70s wooden trellis work speaker covers. Lift them away and you will be amazed at the improvement. Alternatively, if the speakers sound worse without them, poke holes in the cones with a pencil and listen to Link Ray.
Your search for a decent vinyl player won’t stop however, until you get a genuine Snow White’s Coffin. If only to have Dieter Rams himself explain to your quizzical house guests the thinking behind the design. It’s the 50s iPod: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncw3f4jgNP4

Top of the food chain
Gathers for Sunday Session,
Jeans and brains
Slung low sweet Iscariot,
But not a sell out.
Pint and pizza for a piece of silver:
“Game on, moles”,
Shrieked through
A mouthful of metal,
Slamming down a Coopers,
Mutters, “Where’d ya get ya tat?”

This comment disappeared somewhere. This Onkyo WON’T be playing Men at Work or Toto, whose albums clog the second hand vinyl market. Will be biased heavily towards the Dean Martin end of the market. Saw some tasty Demis Roussos I might get too.

Yes I like Russel too.
I admit, some time ago, I reached a point where I could not find a single station to satisfy my musical requirements. Or if they played Ok tunes, I couldn’t abide the commentary. So it’s CD’s or 720 for this old chook.

I’m a right pretentious wanker: my radio tends to be Araldited to ABC Radio National (810 AM). The only talkback there is Australia Talks, which is even more pink than Bob Maumill was (well, in relation to 6PRattler, he was certainly a Commie!).

What is ‘ooshta’? I ruminated over this question for many hours last night. It’s such an elusive word, essentially meaning nothing in our language, but connoting oh so much. Is it still a mellifluous evocation of the Zoroastrian Way? I doubt it – or perhaps it is, only inasmuch as the Perth way is so deeply opposite – but no, it seems to be indicative of everything crass, fake, un-Zen. It is I think equivalent to one particular word, one word very familiar to the esteemed luminaries of this site. Ooshta. Ooooosshhtaa. It can only mean one thing – ‘worst’ itself.

Yes the Onkyo, Donkyo, Monkyo, Toke-eyo. An invention bringing high fidelity to the masses for the first time, similar in ramifications to other mass inventiones : the Volkies for the Australian mass transportation ( I can still hear the heils and jawohls ringing in my ears) and the barb wire concentration camp of Frauleiter Howard ( a policy continued by later transvestities.).
Who of my generation did not wack Led Zepp 4 on their Onkyo.

Whooooooeee, if it was only restricted to albums of 1968 it would still be awesome.
2 Monkees, several Johny Cash, Elvis, Stones, Tiny Tim, not to mention The Cheerful Insanity of Giles, Giles and Fripp.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:1968_albums

Cauldron by 50 ft Hose sounds good.
Cork Marcheschi (b. 1945) grew up in Burlingame, California. In his teens he performed with the Ethix, who played R&B music in clubs around San Francisco and in Las Vegas, and released one experimental and wildly atonal single, “Bad Trip”, in 1966 – the intention being that the record could be played at any speed.

Couldn’t you have picked another year, TLA ? We’ll be here for ages. Anyway, off the top of my head here’s 5, in no particular order. White album, Beggar’s Banquet, Folsom Prison, In person at the Whisky a Go Go, NBC TV Special.