Sunday, September 26, 2010

this is what i am wondering

this is what i am wondering~ are the people who excel at lasting happiness, who overcome setbacks, who sustain their interests in worthwhile things, who can feed themselves well, who set and keep healthy boundaries, who succeed in and have patience in relationships, are they the ones among us who have forgiven themselves?

They are the ones among us who have been endowed with those traits from the get go, whether from their birth/birthcharts or from fantastic family beginnings, perhaps both. They have always known how to forgive themselves and share love with great empathy and joy. They have a great homebase in reality, not fear.

I have overcome one setback only to be set-back by another thing. I have sustaining interest in both worthwhile and superfluous things. I have fed myself well out of guilt and shame. I have succeeded in being patient beyond my understanding in the morning, and snapped at the smallest mote of misunderstanding to another in the evening. I have forgiven myself for some things, only to find new places to forgive. Maybe the trick is finding out what causes YOU to be kind to yourself, not what causes others to do what makes them feel right.Sending you love love and more love, Gracie.

these are all good questions. THE questions. and perhaps that (forgiving yourself) is the answer, although i never think of happiness as something lasting, i think of it as moments that come in and out of life, like all other emotions. we can't feel any one of them all of the time, it's impossible.we wouldn't notice happiness if it was there all the time.and is anyone really able to do all of these things all of the time? i think it looks that way sometimes, but underneath I think we are all the same, all human, all flawed and beautiful all at the same time.

I would say Yes! Self forgiveness is probably the most important thing a person can learn to do and I think it is also the hardest...but how can we be free to live, to love, or to forgive others if we deny ourselves that gift?Tina xo

@ Tina: I think that is absolutely right!@ Elise: in my limited experience, that is not the way it is...There is no lucky star, at least for me. I come from a life history so filled (inside me) with "the human condition", of anger/rage, suppressed fears & traumas, unhealthy "coping" mechanisms & drama, drama, drama. There's no reason I should be alive, much less functional &, lo!, happy, but for 2 things: abundant grace that just kept stepping in, & hard, sweaty, howling inner work in all of those arenas Graciel named.We each have our own path to walk, but we can each keep "peeling the onion" of our dysfunctions untilabiding peace begins to settle in.It's not glamorous, & it's not impossible...it's just a day-to-day decision.