"You give [a woman] a choice of 53 athletes, somebody got to be appealing to her...I don't know what kind of woman won't, if you get to go and look at 53 men's packages." Redskin Clinton Portis has since apologized

Oh, bikinis. Such small pieces of cloth that present such great potential for complication! What better occasion than the release of the new Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition to learn the secrets of a swimwear shoot?