When you give birth, you may find that the one person who provides you with the most care is your labor and delivery nurse. You may get to know her quickly and rely on her intensely. She has an intimate and demanding job -- when she's done it well, many moms feel a token of gratitude is in order, and wish they had thought about it in advance.

Ann Silberman

Critical role You've planned well in advance and are ready. You have decided on baby
names, and purchased the layette. The childbirth classes are completed.
The carseat is installed and safety-checked, you have a stash of tiny
diapers, gentle soaps and soft blankets. There are meals in the
freezer, and your hospital bag is packed. Birth announcements have been
ordered, awaiting only the date. The empty crib has stuffed animals
inside forlornly waiting for their new charge. You are ready to deliver
your child, satisfied that nothing is forgotten.

Or is there?

One
thing that many new mothers never think of, and later wish they hadn't
overlooked, is a small remembrance for their labor and delivery nurse.
Even more than the doctor, she is the person will play a critical role
at the most important time of your life.

Since
many hospitals have one-to-one patient/nurse care, you may find that
your nurse will be with you throughout your labor. She will start your
IV, check your vital signs, and interpret the monitor strip to ensure
your baby's continued health. She performs cervical checks, gives pain
medication or calls the anesthesiologist if necessary. She is the
conduit between you and your OB, providing status reports and calling
him when the time is close.

More
importantly, she may also provide comfort measures, such as rubbing an
aching back, fluffing pillows or bringing cool cloths for a sweaty
head. She will quench thirst by bringing broth, ice or popsicles. She
coaches on breathing techniques, or holds quivering legs to help in
pushing. She may even reassure a nervous father-to-be and will answer
questions for the waiting family. These nurses provide emotional
support for all involved, and you get to know them quickly and rely on
them intensely. And, after the baby is born, more likely than not, it
is she who will take pictures of you, your husband and baby for
posterity.

It's
an intimate and demanding job, and many moms feel a token of gratitude
is in order, and wish they had thought about it in advance.

Small gifts and missed opportunitiesOne such mother is Ellen
Armijo. She describes the birth of her son Aaron as a wonderful
experience, due in large part to her nurses. She says regretfully, "I
really do wish that I had thought to get them something."

William
Homer and his wife Karen also have fond memories and wanted to
commemorate them. "We really liked our nurse," he says, "and because we
were all dog lovers, we bought her a canine-themed picture
frame."Unfortunately, they hadn't planned in advance. "When we brought
it
to the hospital, she was off-shift and before we saw her we were moved
to a regular room and never saw her again." The frame is now in their
living room.

Frances
Love did a bit better, "The nurses that night were just living dolls."
She was so impressed with the care she received when her daughter Emily
was born, she said, "I sent (husband) Raymond and my mom to put
together a gift bag for each of the two night nurses." Earlier the
nurses had complained about the coffee, and Frances noticed. "I had mom
pick up some good coffee singles, chocolate and Pepperidge Farm
cookies. She also picked up a potted plant and put it on the front desk
as a gift for the floor."

What really mattersJust what is an appropriate thank you for
those who take good care of you? Most labor and delivery nurses agree
-- a fancy gift is unnecessary. Chocolates are nice, home-baked cookies
or a small plant are all welcomed. Lauri Santin, a labor and delivery
nurse at Immanuel St. Joseph's Mayo Health System Hospital says in her
experience, "Gifts are usually sent to the entire floor. They are
usually edible too."

But,
most nurses will agree that the best gift of all is a simple "thank
you" and the opportunity see the baby again. Maggie Richards, an agency
nurse with Progressive Nursing Staffers echoes this sentiment.
"Granted, most parents will bring stuff like chocolate at Christmas
which is nice. But the best thing is when they either bring their
babies back in or send pictures of them." She continues, "It would just
be nice for the families to say 'thanks' when they leave, that's all we
want."

Mary
Wehrer, a labor and delivery nurse for the Air Force at Wilford Hall
Medical Center concurs. "I have gotten a card, and some lovely shower
gel/lotion, but what really works best is to see my name mentioned on
the little questionnaires the Air Force hands out to everyone. Or to
run into a couple with their baby somewhere -- and have them remember
me."

Doctors
get the glory and the big paychecks to go along with the pictures to
put on their bulletin boards. Nurses usually toil in a demanding job,
giving exceptional medical care and calming emotional support. A token
of your gratitude can be as simple as a thank you card or a box of
candy.
Better yet, take down names and write a note to the supervisor
complimenting the care your received from your nurse. And, whatever you
do, don't forget to include a picture of the baby!