MYTH #1: Everyone is doing it.
#Nope. We hate to spew stats straight out of the gate, but this is one number you need to know up front: Less than halfof high school students have had sex.That's a fact. So if you've done it? You're not alone. If you haven't? That's totally normal, too. "I know it seems like the sex talk is everywhere," says Kris Gowen, a sex educator and author of Making Sexual Decisions. "But think about it: No one runs around telling people what they haven't done." So, so, so, so true — and more proof it's important to *just do you.*

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MYTH #2: If you haven't gone all the way, you don't need to worry about STDs.
STDs don't discriminate, meaning that anything you can get in your vagina, you can get in your butt, mouth, or throat. "So many people think that only certain types of sex spread STDs," says Michelle Horejs, the associate director of youth education and training at Planned Parenthood Los Angeles. "But oral sex, anal sex, vaginal sex — they all put you at risk." Just another reason to be 100% honest with your gyno about your hookup history, so you can be sure you're getting all the right tests, just in case.

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MYTH #3: "Condoms feel terrible."
Ugh. This is a classic dude line that needs to die die die. Sex will not be any sort of bad for him just because his 🍌 is under wraps — and the truth is, sex will be more fun for you when your brain isn't running wild with worry. "It's going to feel so much better if both of you are relaxed and comfortable," says Horejs. So in case you're faced with this kind of BS, be prepared to call him on it. Say: "Dude! I get it. But my feelings matter, too — and I can't be freaked out about getting pregnant." And if he still pushes back? Not cool! So shut. It. Down. "Well, no sex will feel worse, I guess." 🙌

MYTH #4: You can tell if he/she has an STI, just by looking.
Time to dip back into those stats for a sec: Did you know it's estimated that 90% of guys with chlamydia show zero symptoms? Or that most people with genital herpes don't even know they have it? Yup. Le research supports protecting yo' self with a condom (if you're sexually active with guys) and/or getting an STD test with your new partner (if you're into guys OR girls) pretty much … always. "The viruses that cause many STDs go in cycles from outbreak to remission," explains Gowen. "And right before the outbreak — when there are no symptoms — is high time for transmission." (Get more info about visiting a gyno and getting tested here.)

MYTH #5: You can't get pregnant if you have your period.
Important: Do NOTtake a chance on this fake belief, which has roots in a particularly problematic thought process. (That is: I have my period, so I can't be ovulating — aka releasing an egg.) The hitch here? You can bleed even if you're not having your period — spotting is very real, and some girls tend to do it *most* when they're super-fertile. But even scarier: "Sperm can live in the vagina for up to five days," explains Horejs. "So if an egg is released within that time, it can be fertilized." The bottom line is, you can get pregnant ANY time you have sex — any position, any time of day, any point in your cycle, etc., etc., etc. So birth control is always a must. Period.

MYTH #6: Yes means yes yes yes yes ALWAYS yes.
Actually…NO! "Not only is consent mandatory, but it needs to be ongoing," says Horejs. "It's something that can be given or taken away at any time." This means a couple of very important things for your sex life. Number one: Just because you say yes to one sexual activity with someone does NOT mean you're saying yes to any other activity, or all sexual activities. In fact, it's important to check in with each other continually before and during a hookup: Is this OK? Are you enjoying this? Are you comfortable with going further?And number two: If you've had sex with someone before, you don't have to do it again. "Everyone has the right to say no — and the responsibility to respect their partner's decision," adds Horejs. YES to that!

MYTH #7: "We can't stop! I'm going to DIE of blue balls."
In case you're as of yet acquainted with the term, "blue balls" is a ridic little name given to the mild pressure a man feels when he's sexually aroused, but doesn't ejaculate — and some shady dudes will use it as an excuse to pressure you to hook up. The truth is, while that achey feeling might be a bit uncomfortable, it goes away in basically two seconds. "If he doesn't want to wait it out," says Horejs, "he can choose to masturbate to release the pressure." So don't feel obligated to help. Stop where YOU want to stop — he'll be fine. He's just being a giant baby and trying to put that on you, which is lame.

MYTH #8: Being drunk will help.
There are legit reasons why you should never drink-and-do-it: Not only does alcohol make it harder for your body to lubricate and prepare for sex (which can make it hurt) and for the guy to get it up (awk-ward) — it also throws your coordination totally off (use your imagination). The mechanics of it all, more or less, get messed up. So it's a terrible idea, before you even consider what it says about your state of mind. "If you need something to help you along," says Gowen, "maybe it's a sign that you're not entirely comfortable with your decision."

MYTH #9: If you don't like ___, you're weird.
When it comes to hooking up, different people have different preferences. So let's all be cool with that, OK? "Just because your last boyfriend liked to have his earlobe nibbled, don't assume the next guy will," says Gowen. "And in the same way, never let anyone pressure you into doing something you don't want to do because it's something they say you should like." (The same goes for porn: You don't need to like the weird stuff you see! In fact, most people don't.)

MYTH #10: Sex will save your relationship and/or make your bae love you.
Sure, sex may make an ~amazing~ relationship stronger. But sharing the most intimate-of-intimate experiences with someone you're on the rocks with, or who acts sketchy? It will do the opposite. "We grow up getting these messages that sex brings people together," says Gowen. "But that togetherness should really be felt before you have sex. And if it's not felt there before, it won't be there after." It's a hard truth to take down, yes — but one that will save you lots of 💔 in the long run.