Friday, February 20, 2009

Genealogy is one of my hobbies. My husband inspired me to give it a try about ten or so years ago. I never knew that finding out about my ancestors would really give me roots, a feeling of belonging to somebody, a history that could actually be traced through many people and to many places. I am excited by finding out about the famous, infamous and the common folk that I came from. I haven't actually traced my lines to anybody who is famous yet. Someone actually traced one of my husband's lines back to being related to most of the kings and queens of Europe in the 1700's.

Something else that I found from genealogy is that with some of the stories that my aunts have shared with me is how the line of abuse has come down from one generation to the next. With that knowledge, I can see why some of the abuse was done. It was what each generation before was taught.

Some things are passed down generation to generation. One good example of this would be the value of being thrifty that was taught by the generation that lived through the Depression of the 1920's and 1930's. I see this trait in my mother-in-law who was born in 1922. Thriftiness can be a good thing especially with the economic problems that the U. S. is beginning to experience today.

One of the things that I discovered is that the abuse didn't start with my dad or grandfather. It goes all the way back to my great-grandfather. It makes me wonder how much farther back the abuse went.

My great-grandfather William Thomas Caldwell was married three times. The first wife died shortly after giving birth to a daughter. At the burial of his wife, Thomas wanted to put the baby in the coffin and bury her with her mother. The baby girl was taken and raised by a neighbor family. I wonder if that baby girl was ever told the story of her birth. How horrible that story was. The first born son of this marriage was raised by the parents of his mother.

Next Thomas Caldwell married and had five children before the second wife filed for a divorce. This was in the early 1900's before divorce was popular. With the divorce, the lady also filed for a restraining order to keep him away from her and the children. I had no idea that you could even get a restraining order that long ago. I know this because I have a copy of the divorce papers that were on file in the Magnolia Courthouse from Columbia County, Arkansas.

My great-grandmother was the last wife of Thomas Caldwell that I have found evidence of. Someone at RootsWeb.com posted that Thomas went to Texas and married a fourth time while he was still married to my great-grandmother and that he got arrested for it. I haven't been able to prove this marriage.

The story that my aunts shared with me about my great-grandparents were that they separated when my grandfather was a small boy. The reason for the separation was that Thomas had tried at least twice to poison my grandmother. When she found out about it, she kicked him out. One of the boys stayed with my great-grandmother and the other one went with Thomas. A few years later, my great-grandmother died and both boys from the marriage to Thomas lived with Thomas. Thomas was my great-grandmother's second husband. The two boys from her first marriage were raised by her parents after her death.

The last time that my grandfather saw his father was on my grandfather's wedding day. The few times that my grandfather talked about his father, he didn't have anything good to say about the man.

I hope that you understand the reason for me sharing this family history with you is to show you that abuse can be generational. If it is, it is your responsibility to not pass the abuse on to the next generation---your children. The abuse can be stopped.Patricia

Thursday, February 12, 2009

For those of you that I haven't already sent an email to, Barbara Swafford of the blog "Blogging Without a Blog" wrote an article about "Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker". You can find this article at the following link: http://bloggingwithoutablog.com/patricia-times-two/ . In Barbara's wonderful article, I share the spotlight with another Patricia. This is Patricia of the blog "Patricia's Wisdom" Don't you just love the name of Patricia's blog. I do. As Patricia said in a comment to me, "We are just fabulous women!" Check out some of Patricia's wisdom at this link: http://patriciaswisdom.com/ .

Barbara writes an article about new blogs that she has discovered on the internet and she writes an occasional article about "(Not So) New Blogs Of The Week". Patricia and I are in the "not so new" arena. I don't know how long Barbara has been reading "Patricia's Wisdom" but she has been visiting and leaving comments on "Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker" for months. I always enjoy Barbara's comments.

From Barbara's blog "Blogging Without a Blog", I get to meet new bloggers each week. I also learn technical stuff such as "How To Get and/or Add A Gravatar To Your Post Comments" ( http://bloggingwithoutablog.com/how-to-get-andor-add-a-gravatar-to-your-post-comments/ ). I haven't added the gravatar to my post comments yet but it is on my list of things to do this week. I appreciate the new bloggers and not so new bloggers that I get to meet each week and also the technical stuff that I learn how to do. Facing my fears about technical stuff is something that I put off doing for a long time before I finally make myself sit down and do whatever it is. (another fear that I need to make friends with). Thank you, Barbara for adding to my knowledge. Thank you for the honor of being included and written about on your blog. I appreciate the new friends that I get to meet who are coming here from your blog. The internet is a great way to meet people and to exchange information.

Through Barbara's blog, I only recently discovered "Patricia's Wisdom" myself. When I finish this article, I am going back to Patricia's blog and read some more of her wisdom. I hope you will do the same. Check out both of their blogs---Patricia's and Barbara's.Have a glorious day.Patricia

Thursday, February 5, 2009

I just discovered a new blog this last week that I am enjoying reading called Joyful Days. I read an article called, "How Does Your Life Script Read?" written by the blog owner Daphne. I was inspired by the article to write the following script. The secret is to be able to read it forward and backwards and have it make sense both ways. Here was what I wrote:

The wiser I grow,The less that I know that I know.Life isn't about growing old.Life is about growing wise.

To read it backwards line by line it would say the following:

Life is about growing wise.Life isn't about growing old.The less that I know that I know,The wiser I grow.

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About Me

I have been on a spiritual path my entire life but only in the last 20+ years have I known what that entailed. My spiritual beliefs are taken from varied religions and my inner knowing. On my fireplace mantle, you will find pictures of American Indians, wolves, buffaloes, and eagles. You will find feathers, stones, crystals, essential oils, and candles. You will find pictures of Jesus, Mother Mary, Krishna, Ganesh and Sai Baba. I believe in all of them. The more I grow spiritually, the more expansive the Universe and my God become. I have been to India three times to visit Sai Baba. I was told to go home and worship the God of my understanding and to pay more attention to my own inner teacher. My stories are just a point of reference for who I am today. I don't go around identifying myself as all of my experiences. Before I started blogging, I had even stopped calling myself an Incest Survivor because that wasn't who I was any longer. I only do it now as a point of reference to offer what I have learned about myself because of the incest to others who might need the hope and love that I have learned. We are all so much more than our experiences can define us as.

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Blessings To All

Divine Love, flowing through me, blesses and multiplies all that I am, all that I have, all that I give, and all that I receive. Thank you.

Disclaimer

The information that you will find on this website and blog are written to be strictly educational or entertaining. I do not claim to be a counselor or a teacher. I am a fellow traveler through this Life. I have thoroughly researched my life and my issues. My desire is to help others through sharing my knowledge and experiences. If you don't want to feel anything, please leave my site. If you want to stay asleep, leave now. My blog is about awareness, my awareness of my life. I accept no responsibility for how you use what you read here. What you do with this information is entirely at your discretion. Seek professional help, if needed.Feel free to share my words and articles with others. I ask only that you change nothing about the articles and that you give me credit as the author.Patricia Singleton