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April 01, 2012

Random Thoughts During the 2WW

I test in six days. Looking at the short end of the 2WW isn't easy. I've had some promising symptoms, for example: Thursday and Friday last week it felt like there were knives in my boobs that were attempting to *stab* their way out. Never felt that before. And that was in addition to my tender nipples (which is common for me during the 2ww).

But no matter what, I have to keep telling myself that this didn't work. Because that passive hope I mentioned before? Its taken hold of the back of my mind.

I keep dreaming about babies. I dreamed my sister gave birth and it was a girl. I was holding it and I was so happy! I can only hope that it was a premonition of a time to come. Then last night I dreamed I had a baby (not sure if it was mine or I was babysitting or something), again, a girl - I was sitting up in bed holding it and trying to take its temperature.

Which reminds me: my temperature has been the same 3 days in a row, I wonder if the battery is wearing out in my thermometer...

I was sitting in church this morning and my mind started to wander. I began thinking to myself, "I wish I could stay like this forever. Vaguely hopeful that I am pregnant, with absolutely no proof to the contrary." It will all come crashing down on Easter weekend ::sigh:: Oh well. There's always next cycle.

4 comments:

It's so hard to keep our minds calm and content during a two week wait. I remember tallying up every symptom and non-symptom I could think of to see which side won out. Anything to hold out hope, or convince myself that it was over, depending on what mood struck me.

I hope that this cycle is your lucky cycle, and that these next 6 days go by quickly.

I think the 2WW is the worst! How can you NOT be hopeful for the positive test? I try hard not to think about it, but that makes me think about it even more. I hope that, no matter the outcome, you will be able to enjoy the Easter holiday.

I agree with you that sometimes I wish I could stay in that hopeful phase. The TWW is torture but for a few days I blissfully convince myself that I am pregnant and that is a happy thought.

I wouldn't worry too much about your temp. Sometimes mine will stay the same for a few days and I too get worried that it is out of batteries, but then it starts mixing it up so I figure it was just one of those weird things.