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November 10, 2010

Nice Guys

Nice guys finish last. We've all heard this saying. Is being "too nice" a downfall? Andy has stated that he is too nice. I have even told him that. Just look what happened with the whole Stalker situation. Andy wears his heart on his sleeve (as do I) but there's a huge difference between him and I. I don't trust people, where he trusts everyone. I know this is a bad way to think, but I usually look at people and think "what is their motive?" I guess it comes from years of being burned and years of trusting the wrong type of people.

My inspiration for this post came from Bobby. He is your typical "Nice Guy." I'm not just portraying him that way. Bobby is the nice guy, Kevin is the happy go lucky slut, and I'm the funny bitch. The other night Bobby called me tell me what had happened to him. He has been talking to this guy (we'll call him Twinkie because Bobby said he's younger and petite) for awhile now. He described it as harmless sporadic chat. Twinkie apparently doesn't live far from Bobby's new job so he invited Bobby over after work. Bobby said he seemed nice and was kinda cute, but alot smaller then he had expected. (cough, pocket gay) Twinkie said, "Big things come in small packages." as he looked down at his crotch. Bobby of course was intrigued.

They chatted out at the kitchen table for awhile but then moved onto Twinkie's couch. (it was more comfortable, can ya tell where this is going? Haha) The topic quickly turned sexual when Twinkie asked him, "So what are you into sexually?" I can't stand this question actually, but it happens all the time. Whatever happened to polite, getting to really know you conversation? Gay men that ask questions like this in the beginning only want to make sure you are compatible sexually because that's all they are really concerned with. Twinkie asked Bobby to go upstairs with him. Bobby told me he went upstairs to be polite, he didn't want to be rude and they started making out. I wonder how many times this has actually happened to people? People just making out with other people out of politeness and not because they were into them. I'm sure I've been a victim of this. Bobby told me it was getting very awkward because he had no intention of anything happening. He didn't go there to "hook up." So he told Twinkie, "he wasn't into it" and left. Bobby says he felt like an ass and he just was trying to be polite, but it didn't feel right. I told him that he "made good decisions." If it's not right, it's not right. The difference between Bobby and Kevin, is Kevin probably would have slobbed on Twinkie's knob or L'd his B's out of politeness if he was attracted by him.
In that case the nice guy (Kevin) would have finished last. (pun intended!)

I had found out that JT was seeing someone (Facebook of course) and it shook me to my core. I'll admit I was heartbroken. I feel like my long term dream was destroyed. I have always thought that someday we'd get back together and everything would just work out. Delusional thinking I know, but he did leave me some hope. Maybe he was just being "nice." I was really upset and turned to Andy, but instead of cheering me up he made me feel worse. He said, "you couldn't expect JT to be single forever and there was no guarantee you guys were going to get back together. You're only hurting yourself." At this point I knew he was right, but it was too much for me to deal with, so I told Andy I wanted to be left alone and I didn't want to talk about it anymore.

20 minutes go by and Andy texts my phone it read, "I know what will make you feel better." A minute after I received that message I end up getting a picture message. I opened the message up. My hands start shaking. The only words I could form are "OH MY GOD!" Andy had just sent me a nude pic of himself! He texts me again with, "better?" I responded, "OMG! I think I'm gonna be wet for a week!" I swear all the blood must have rushed out of my brain to go down under. He answered back, "lol I had to make you feel better, that's what friends are for." I said, "Yeah, nothing says lovin' like a big penis on your phone." I realized what Andy was doing. He took that picture for me because he knew it would distract me from thinking about JT and it totally worked.

The next morning the roles were reversed. Andy texted me all upset that things weren't really go so well with Brian. (I know, shocker right?) Andy says he thinks he tries to hard and rushes into things. He doesn't understand why he can't find a boyfriend. (hello! I'm right here) I told him that he keeps going out with the wrong type of guy and he's too nice. He trusts everyone right off the bat instead of them earning that trust. Guys will say anything to get what they want. I told him, "It should be easy. If you gotta work on it too much with someone then it's not right. You just have to find someone who wants the same shit and means it. That's all." He took my advice and seemed happier. I ended with, "I love you and just remember there's someone who loves you." He responded with, "Awww. I love you too." I knew when Andy said it back it wasn't in the same way that I had said it. I know he loves me as a friend and cares about me alot. He wasn't just saying it back to be nice. Maybe in the long run being nice will actually pay off. Nice guys finish first.