The Guest List Dilemma

Weddings are stressful enough without having to worry about how to handle your guest list. That goes for any bride, but for my same sex couples, the guest list can be a source of major anxiety. I’ve heard my share of complaints from couples, and while we are progressing as a culture, lifestyle choice issues still pop up at wedding time.

I give all my couples the same advice, which is never to feel obligated to invite anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable about your wedding or lifestyle. A wedding is an intimate occasion during which emotions tend to be fragile. Respect that some family members may not support your decision to wed, but don’t allow that to spoil your day.

Here are some guidelines and etiquette for deciding whom, and whom not, to invite:

1. Your guest list will depend heavily on the budget. Be aware of prices for catering, venues and flowers, all of which tend to be the most costly.

2. Set some rules. Decide together if you’ll allow people to bring a guest. Family members that have been dating someone for over a year should be allowed a plus one, if it fits the budget. Do what’s best for your situation.

3. Decide if you want children at your wedding. It’s either yes or no, and nothing in between. If yes, consider whether you will provide childcare, and what that might cost. If there are to be no children, address your invitation only to the parents and ask your wedding party to help spread the word.

4. Separate your lists. Create four lists numbered 1 through 4, with one being most important. Place the names of people who must be at the wedding on list number one. On list 2, mention those who should be there. On lists 3 and 4, mention those whom you and your partner would like to attend. Ideally, you will be able to invite everyone on all of the lists, but the process will help you to trim the possibilities, if necessary.

Chanda Monique Eddens is the executive designer and owner of A Monique Affair. Chanda aims to provide a beautiful and memorable experience, delivering an event that will enchant both you and your guests. http://www.amoniqueaffair.com/