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I dated a psychopath! – Recognizing unhealthy relationships & How to guard yourself

Learn how to recognize a psychopath, their characteristics and actions. See if you are at risk for being targeted and how to guard yourself against becoming a victim. Learn what happens when you are in a relationship with a psychopath, what it looks and feels like from the inside and outside. Notes from an interview with mental health professional and psychopath victim, Sara Elizabeth Brown.

Characteristics of Psychopaths

they have a lot more energy than other people

they speak in monologue, interesting stories about themselves, people feel intrigued by them, they seem very interesting

they are addictive

smart

charming

charismatic

love predators

attack emotions, they start to manufacture emotions in you

they are excellent at reading people and will morph into exactly what they perceive you need and want, they will appear to be your perfect soul mate

progressing the relationship very quickly

jealous

extroverted

dominant

strong

status oriented

manipulative

doctors/lawyers

Are you at risk for being targeted by a psychopath? Characteristics of victims/targets.

they target people who could easily morph into what the psychopath wants them to be, people who are not strongly attached to their own identity, people who are unguarded

open, generous people

have a high moral standard, would not do to others what was done to them

someone who would not retaliate

nice, sweet

tend to take responsibility or take blame for things that happen even if its not their fault

highly empathic

disorganized

extroverted, strong

adventure seeking

did not necessarily come from an abused background, they’re are not re-enacting trauma

triangulation- psychopath will compare you to the other women in your life

over talking- psychopath will wear you down by exhausting your attention, until you give up

they do something to provoke a reaction and then when you react they act like you’re crazy and tell you you’re being jealous, crazy, possessive

silent treatment

psychological torture

Final (Discard Stage)

the relationship ends

The stages of the psychopath relationship: Idealization, Devalue, Discard

How to guard yourself against psychopaths

don’t change your routine for them, anyone who tries to push you off your routine

your routine is your guard

don’t change your values

don’t give up on relationships with others (family and friends)

if someone makes funny degrading comments

if someone starts to make you feel crazy, they’re out

if someone starts giving you the silent treatment or disappears for periods of time

if its a maybe, its a no

if someone is oversharing too much

they’ll try to isolate you from friends and family “they’re not good enough for you, you’re so much better than them”

they’ll try to isolate you from everything that’s important to you

have a more fixed or guarded personality

know who you are

have hard rules for yourself, things you are unchanging on, “You don’t mess with my money and you don’t mess with my creative work.”

“They can’t keep the mask up very long”- Sara Elizabeth Brown

Most people think of serial killers when you mention the word psychopath. It is true that most serial killers are psychopaths, but most psychopaths are not serial killers. Many are highly successful in life and business with no criminal record.