The famous opening line of Anna Karenina tells us that "all happy families are alike, but each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way". Now the diaries of Leo Tolstoy's wife Sofia are set to cast a new light on the troubled family life of perhaps the greatest Russian writer of them all.

What emerges from Sofia's diaries, which span more than 50 years and which are due to be published by Alma Books this October, is a picture of a cruel and difficult man, indifferent to his family, endlessly critical, who forced his wife to breastfeed all 13 of their children despite the agony it caused her.

"All the things that he preaches for the happiness of humanity only complicate life to the point where it becomes harder and harder for me to live," wrote Sofia – who transcribed all of Tolstoy's manuscripts, including War and Peace, in longhand – at the start of 1895. "His vegetarian diet means the complication of preparing two dinners, which means twice the expense and twice the work. His sermons on love and goodness have made him indifferent to his family, and mean the intrusion of all kinds of riff-raff into our family life. And his (purely verbal) renunciation of worldly goods has made him endlessly critical and disapproving of others."

Later, in October 1899, she gives a snapshot of life at Yasnaya Polyana, when Tolstoy suffering from a bad cough and cold went out for a walk without telling Sofia where he was going. "A storm blew up, it rained and snowed, roofs and trees were smashed, the window-frames rattled, it grew dark – there was no moon yet – and still he didn't appear. I went out to the porch and stood on the terrace, waiting for him with a spasm in my throat and a sinking heart, as I used to when I was young and he went out hunting and I would wait hour after hour in an agony of suspense," she writes. Eventually he returns, and she starts to cry and rebuke him. "And to all my passionate and loving words his ironic reply was: 'So what if I went out? I'm not a little boy, I don't have to tell you.' ... I felt angry with him. I devote so much love and care to him, and his heart is so icy."

A talented and intellectual woman, Sofia longs for wider horizons, but is increasingly sidelined and isolated by her husband, a man she idealised and yet who also tormented her. Her diaries were previously published more than 20 years ago in an academic edition, but Alma Books believes that by producing a more accessible version they will gain a wider readership. A foreword from Doris Lessing will also be included in the book, in which the Nobel laureate describes Tolstoy as a bad husband who is sexually inconsiderate and a bit of a monster.

Alma is also hoping to include previously unpublished material in a new edition of the diaries next spring, which managing director Alessandro Gallenzi described as "very risqué". "She was very critical of Tolstoy and this was not deemed fit for publication in Russia in the 70s, because of Tolstoy's status," he said. "She was very jealous of him."