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Tuesday, November 27, 2012

My kids are doing pretty well on finding what they really enjoy.
Kaya is all about video gaming and dancing, in the summer he really loves to fish. He is really just beginning to tap into his big picture. He is a little hesitant to really dig into things as his Dyslexia holds him back from engaging on his own, he always needs a push. It's getting better, and he is figuring out how to navigate through his world regardless, it just takes more time, and a little help. I am trying to find him more good and kid friendly game designing resources. One that will challenge him a little more. He is beyond many of the free resources on the web.
Ev is into dancing, and mushrooms at the moment. He is still young and has not tapped into his thing yet, he has barely started seeing the opportunities before him.
Marlin loves reading, designing things ( pinterest, polyvore) she is way into fostering dogs. Anything related to organizing something. As she is my oldest, I am really able to see her path come into view. She likes details, interacting with people, making the personal connection, making a difference in someones day. I used to laugh, but when she was little, she really, really wanted to be a grocery bagger.
Why?
Now I see it. She likes to organize, chat with people, smile and make them happy. This happens completely within the fostering as well. She has to pick a pup, help organize the transport, pick it up, care for it, and hand it off with a smile. She can see it full circle at the end. She has since upgraded from bagger to a hotel concierge, or boutique owner.
Me?
I am still wading through it all. My kid's lives are so different from mine. As a kid, going through school I had dreams, things I was really into, but school got in the way. I remember clearly being told that being a Dolphin Trainer was pretty much a pipe dream, and it probably wasn't going to happen, so what else did I want to be? There wasn't much in me beyond an intense interest in animals and nature. I don't remember being crushed, just that it wasn't going to happen. I think somehow I took the message that you are not really in control, but that you would fall into something. That is not a good notion really.
You fall into a hole, or a pile of poo, it is not a way to live your life!
I want the opposite for my kids. I want to give them the chance to explore their interests seriously with out barriers. I am happy that they are able to have such a hands on, fluid, mostly child driven education in which they feel a sense of control. That they feel like they are doing things, big things, important things. I want my kids to find and pursue what they love. This is the time to do it.
Childhood is the absolute perfect time.
They are truly free and able to follow their own paths until they find the right one for them. I know many adults, including myself, who thought there was one or two main trails to follow to succeed. I wonder what would have happened if I stayed on my path, the one towards the ocean, because I know that if I did, I could have been one happy Dolphin Trainer.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Ok, this has been bugging me for so long. I mean I think about it at least a couple of times a week. It is so utterly baffling to me, and bizarre. I don't know if anybody else notices this phenomenon? Maybe because I think about it so often, I am attracting more and more sightings? I am not really sure, but why are there so many damn shoes on the side of the roads? I mean I get the whole two shoes tied together over power lines thing, and the occasional random one, but I see them everywhere. On the highway, side streets, in the city... I mean do people intentionally toss them? Are people putting shoes on tops of their cars and driving away scattering shoes? Do people buy new shoes and toss their old shoes out of the windows? Is it something more insidious like alien abductions and they are sucked up so fast out of this galaxy that there shoes come off?
What the hell?
Anyway, when it was really bothering me, I thought to myself that I should start a road shoe blog. Because other people, I mean at least one other person must also be consumed by this mystery! But then I thought... lots of times when I see these shoes, I already am passing them. And many times because I am on the highway or cars are behind me, and most commonly, I am already running late- I just can't turn around. Sometimes it would be just plain dangerous. So maybe sometimes, if I am like, on time, or not on a hairpin corner, or on a highway, I can just maybe snap a quick photo. I mean it is interesting. I am a beyond fascinated with the whole thing. It's like one of those crazy movies, really bad movies from the 70's when all through the movie you hear a hawk's cry, or a rattle snake's rattle, and somewhere in the movie it is revealed that this is the persons spirit guide or whatever?
Yeah like that... instead I get stinky odd shoes mocking me from the road side.

I haven't been here this week, as I have been making another blog book at blurb. It is my goal this year to get all caught up with that. It's really great to physically be able to hold these pages, and know that all my pictures and memories are safe by my side if this place crashes.
Not that it will, but if it does, you know...
Anyway, I am not getting paid or anything to plug for Blurb, but I truly love how my books come out. There are many sites that you can use to make a blog to book, but Blurb is really customizable. I can enlarge my pictures, change up the layout and delete pages or images that I do not wish to print. With some other sites you do not have that control, and the pictures are really, really teeny.
So, if you were interested in publishing your blog into a book for your self, you should check it out.
Also, trying to publish a blog that is 5 years old is a lot of work. I really wish I could turn back the hands of time, and that I had done a book every year, if you post a lot then every 6 mos. It wouldn't be the mountain of a job that it is today. Each step is a step closer, right?

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

We have been pretty busy doing lots o'stuff. I just can't seem to write about that here. I am still pretty in love with just snapping photos of it all. Truth is that I love taking pictures, so I say if you love something and it makes you happy, then do more of that!

I said it once on here already, and I will say it again. I can see the cobwebs and dust building up in here! If you are remotely interested in seeing any of us doing our thing, you can look up to to the right of the page and you will see two options to see photos. Both instagram, and no, you do not need an account to see them. One option is an RSS Feed. and the other is a simple button that will link you to a page viewer. So that's where I have been. Not saying I won't post on here anytime soon, but I have nothing rattling in my brain yet. That could change pretty quickly though...

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Hmm, what to write, what to write...
I have not been feeling bloggy lately, not sure why. It seems it has left my system. Sometimes I just want to live and not record it. Just be like 98% of all the other people in the world. But then one day I know I will look back and wonder what we did, where it all went? So I will sit here until something taps it's way out of my fingers...
Winter is a very inward season for me. My whole personality changes. I just want to be left alone, stay in my pj's, just ride it all out until spring makes it's glorious comeback.
I am not depressed.
I think I am hibernating.
Wintering over, going dormant.
I spend vast amounts of time sitting in the sun and gazing outward into the woods. I am not truly day dreaming though. I am looking forward and straightening out our path. I am not just one to free float and see where this life takes us. I want to point us in a good direction, where the beauty and opportunity lies.
This is harder than you think.
My kids are each free thinkers, each with their own path. Somehow I have to keep us all going in the same general direction. This is the true beauty of learning together at home.
It's a rambly jaunt.
One runs ahead with out looking back, one still holds my hand, and the other one drags his feet a little ways behind.
But yet we still move on together.
One kid has a very clear idea of who she is, and what she needs.
One boy is just at the cusp of figuring himself out.
And the last is intently watching the others and trying hard to do the same, just a baby.
My primary focus right now is them, I have to follow their lead. I can no longer pick them up and carry them to an easier path for me.
All I can say is hot damn.
The teenage years are going to be quite the hike.
But the view, it will be something else!

Monday, November 12, 2012

The paralyzed chicken has died.
I am not really that sad about it. More, I dunno, pensive maybe?
Introspective?
I mean I feel very badly for her, and yes, I do feel like she is better off. Anyway, not much to say about it. I do feel like the above picture sums it all quite well.
sigh.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

I have acquired a special needs chicken. She was attacked by a raccoon and had to have a leg amputated.
She can not walk.
She is pretty much completely paralyzed.
She seems happy, she eats and drinks. She can barely move. She can not just hop around, as she does not seem to have a sense of balance. The previous owner did not want the special needs paralyzed chicken, so she came home with Addy.
My initial impression of paralyzed chicken was not a good one. I wanted to just send her back in to be euthanized. I felt she had such little quality of life. I found it to be a cruel existence. I literally have to place food and water in front of her. If she fidgets and gets turned around she can not access her food until I check on her again, and turn her around.
Helpless.
Slowly I have come to appreciate the young chicken. Somehow during the course of my care for her, I have changed. I don't know when it happened exactly. There was no pivotal moment of heart change. Today I just realized that I enjoy looking after her. She is helpless, she relies solely on me. She did not ask for her leg to be fixed, but here she is in my care.
I would like to believe that if I was ever in a situation where I was helpless and alone that some kind hearted person would care for me, look after me. That I would not have to struggle or suffer. What I considered an unwanted undertaking has turned into some sort of spirit changing thing. I don't know really how to explain it.
There is no reward for me, just constant work and effort.
I just genuinely want to do something nice for this chicken.
She may not even like me.
I think paralyzed chicken is here to make ME better.
It's weird.
Anyway, she even has her own song now because I think she likes it when I sing.
The only one who might.
It's a special treat to hear my beautiful song. You'll only hear it from my lips if you are paralyzed, and a chicken. But I will share the special lyrics, are you ready?
"Paralyzed chicken, paralyzed chicken, you are special to me
You were attacked by a raccoon, your leg was chopped off,
and you're special to me."
So there you have it.
special words.
I am not sure if I even got across what I wanted. I guess I am just saying that change can come from the strangest of places, and you'll only recognize it when your fully under it's wing.

Monday, November 5, 2012

So this lady I know, Heartrockin' Mama. She said it was a no like to have my comments turned off. And I was like ok, I will turn them back on....
So why did I turn them off anyways?
Well, I have always wanted to try and turn them off because then I would not feel the need to check my blog randomly through the day to se if anyone commented.
Come on, you know you do it too...
Because sometimes if I thought that I had exciting or lovely stuff on here, and no one was commenting for hours and hours, it was like watching a pot boil...
Not that I post for comments specifically, but sometimes I could not understand why some fluff post had 6 comments and my very own faves were flatlines... It's nice to say, we or I don't care about comments, but sometimes we really like to get them, and enjoy that we made a connection out there with someone who gets us and likes us for whatever reason. Also, I had this issue where sometimes I read blogs quickly, like a few of them in a rapid fire succession. Thing is, sometimes I don't have the time, or I am on my phone, or just am too tired to put a well thought out sincere response-so I don't. And Me being a good thinker, pretty much knows that the other person wants a dialogue or a comment on their post too. So I would feel a bit crappy about not commenting on their stuff. So, I thought, well hey! If I stop caring about the comments, and block commenting on my blog, than it frees me to comment on other peoples blogs when I actually can and feel it!
No pressure...
Fucking brilliant!
maybe not..
I guess like most things, there is no easy way out.
I just have to be not lazy, and work on my own little issues.
So comment if you want, I promise I won't check this place every time I log on...
As if...

Sunday, November 4, 2012

I recently watched this documentary. After seeing this, it got me really thinking that the key to happiness really is pretty simple.

Find your thing, and do it as much as you can. The problem is that finding your thing is elusive.
At least it is for me.
The problem is, is that my life is almost half over ( I think?) My good years are now. I don't want to miss out on my thing much longer! I want my kids to find their passion young enough where they will benefit from all the goodness that a full, rich, joyful life will give them and their families. I see a lot of people just living day to day, with out much joy. I think for everyone, it's there waiting for you to discover it. So as for me finding my own thing. I will really begin to examine my days and take the advice to jot down what I loved, and what I hated. And start by doing those things more and less, and then hopefully, magically over the course of the winter and spring, I will know more about my thing and purpose than I ever have before.
It's a good start.
Care to join me?
Come on, you know you really want to discover your thing, too....

Saturday, November 3, 2012

I am still trying to figure out what will happen with this blog. I don't want to abandon it, but I am seeking a new direction. I am feeling a huge need for change. I am really enjoying snapping pictures of my kids and other beautiful things on instagram. It's effortless and simple, and I love it. The other big thing is my own personal evolution.
Way back in 2007, I started this blog as an outlet, and to connect with other homeschooling families. Homeschooling was new to me, I was hashing it all out, and exploring different styles. Paradigms have changed and grown, anxieties have been shed, and we are all living pretty comfortably in a life learning lifestyle. I just feel like I no longer want to keep talking about it, and documenting it all. It all feels so normal for me now, and I feel silly that this is practically the sole focus here.
Also, it seems like this was the main focus of my life for the past several years. My kids are getting older now and taking charge of their own lives in terms of finding their own paths. I have been getting more time to get reacquainted with myself as someone who has all these interests and things that I want to explore and do more of.
So, that is where I am at.
I wonder what color my pretty wings will be when I escape this chrysalis?

Friday, November 2, 2012

We watched a pretty interesting documentary. The kids and I got way into it. I had no idea there was more to the story than just simply lost at sea!Amazon.com: Earhart's Electra: Eyewitness Accounts of What Happened to Amelia's Plane: Richard Martini: Movies & TV
Then of course we had to watch more of a movie about her, since we had some intriguing background now. So we went with this:
http://www.amazon.com/Amelia/dp/B0036SLOP8/ref=sr_1_1?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1351789724&sr=1-1&keywords=amelia
Marlin just finished a book on Helen Keller. I guess I better start the hunt to find something to snuggle in with....