Siamese Twin Jokes Friday Funnies #335

November 9, 2018

By Peter Pelliccia

These Siamese Twin jokes is a first for my Friday Funnies. What inspired me to include Siamese Twin jokes is what motivates the majority of my Friday Funnies, the emails I receive from my mates. Without further ado, I give you the first of my Siamese twin jokes.

Siamese Twin Jokes #1

Siamese twins walk into a pub in Sydney and park themselves on a bar stool. One of them says to the bartender, “Don’t mind us, we’re joined at the hip. I’m John, and on the left here is Jim. We’ll have two VB’s, thanks.”

The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers. “Been on holiday recently, lads?”

“Off to the States next month,” says John. “We go to the States every year, hire a nice car and drive for miles, don’t we, Jim?”

Jim agrees.

“Ah, The States!” says the bartender. “Wonderful country …… the people, climate, the beer, the culture .. .. …”

“Nah, we don’t like that American crap,” says John. “Aussie meat pies, chips, and VB, that’s us, hey, Jim? Jim agrees. And we can’t stand the Yanks, not civil and polite like us Aussies.”

“So why keep going to the States?” asks the bartender.

“It’s the only chance Jim gets to drive.

Blonde Siamese Twin Jokes

A stud met two gorgeous blondes sitting side by side at a bar. They turned out to be Siamese twins joined at the hip, and they eagerly went to his apartment. After screwing the first one, he moved on to the second. The first sister noticed a case in the corner of the room.

“Is that a trombone?” she asked, “I was in the high school band, and would love to play your trombone.”

The guy shrugged, fetched her the instrument and went back to the second sister. As he humped, the first twin played loud, exuberant marches. A few weeks later, the twins were walking past his apartment building, and the first one said, “Let’s stop in and see him.”

The other sister hesitated and asked, “Gee, do you think he’ll remember us?”

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