Press, hold, rub, and stroke your screen to send vibrations to your partner’s phone or compatible personal massager. And when you’re ready, your next match is just a button press away… In a long-distance relationship and missing your partner’s touch? Our private rooms let you connect with a custom room name and password. For the moments you can’t be together, Sexy Vibes is the next best thing.

My Halloween-themed “Dating’s Not So Scary Party” at a brewery was well-attended and lively, but the management was soured by the unimpressive amount of beer purchased by participants. I asked friends and colleagues to alert their more distinguished single male friends. This is the point where I should have apologized to My Girls and cancelled the event.