Dozens trapped at Leveson World of Adventures

Emergency services were called on Sunday to help rescue passengers trapped for several months aboard a series of media rollercoasters at fantasy-themed entertainment park Leveson World of Adventures.

One elderly, multi-billionaire Australian tourist was particularly embarrassed to have his dirty underwear on display while suspended 25m above the ground, strapped to the Peeping Heights Ferris Wheel.

Those stranded in Leveson World complained of intrusion, exhaustion and overexposure to The Sun. Unfortunately, the response time of the Fire Service was delayed by several months, after a series of attempts to hack the 999 switchboard. Eyewitnesses report that the thrill-seekers had been ‘very keen’ for others to go on the rides, but then morally outraged when they found themselves on the receiving end of the same excessive force, financial pressure and nausea.

Opened in 2011, Leveson World of Adventures has enthralled the public with its thrills, spills and consequence-free family activities. The Blair family, of no fixed abode, were shocked to find themselves dragged into the Wendi’s Revenge ride and drenched in brackish Murdoch residue. Several high profile marriages have felt undue pressure by similar experiences. Many of the rides culminate with passengers being photographed during humiliating moments of vulnerability, or ‘in the public interest’, as one ride operator described it while brandishing his 2400mm zoom lens and leaving the brake levers completely unattended.

A Mrs. Brooks, from Chipping Norton, appears to have got her ginger tendrils stuck in the Conspiracy Capers obstacle course, with other unnamed passengers. Despite safety harnesses, others have suffered from anxiety or asthma attacks, and even the occasional moment of self-realisation.

Victims group Hacked Off called for free season tickets to be given to this particular set of passengers; a spokesman said: ‘If anyone deserves to stay on the press merry-go-round, it’s these lovely people.’