If you follow the insane micromovements of the baseball hot stove season, you probably, over the past year or two, had a reaction like the one Hardball Talk had in February. "Apparently, Gary Sheffield is an agent," the headline read. Sheffield had just negotiated a minor-league deal for journeyman knuckleballer Josh…

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.

Gary Sheffield has a solution, though: "It shouldn't be against the law to take the picture, but to post it and say something negative I think should be against the law. It's like an invasion of privacy." [NYP]

As Gary Sheffield held a large steak to his aching melon over the weekend, Bob Watson, the Major League Baseball official in charge of on-field discipline, confirmed that he will review video of Friday's brawl between the Tigers and Cleveland Indians to levy possible fines and/or suspensions. Meanwhile, Sheffield…

Earlier yesterday, reports leaked that Gary Sheffield said black and white players are treated differently under Yankees skip Joe Torre, Derek Jeter "ain't all the way black," and that he never used steroids because "steroids is something you shoot in your butt," in an upcoming HBO interview. Needless to say,…

I don't know if it was the conspiracy he was talking about yesterday, but Gary Sheffield did tell GQ all about his thoughts on why there are dwindling numbers of African-Americans in Major League Baseball.

For "aggressive actions directed at umpire Greg Gibson," Detroit Tigers DH Gary Sheffield was suspended for three games. Sheff broke his bat, and then threw the handle down ... somewhere. He says he threw it towards the dugout, Major League Baseball says he threw it at the ump.

We have no idea whether this site is bull or not — that it just launched yesterday makes us a tad suspicious, we'll admit — but, honestly, who cares: Someone has launched a blog that's only blind items about athletes. If it's real, if it's not real, it's a blind item! Like anybody believes them anyway!

We know it's NFL Kickoff Night, and we know it's kind of a bummer to finish our first day with a post about baseball, but we just find it tough to resist a couple of steroids guys feuding. (We always imagine them having counterintuitive arguments about who has smaller testicles.)