I use “your killing me…” for everything, because The Sandlot is probably one of the greatest movies ever made!!!… seriously… watch it… if you don’t have time, here’s The Sandlot in 5 seconds…

But back to the reason of this post, FEDEX!!!!

As you all know from my last ‘Mona Royally Screws it up Again!’ post, I am currently waiting for a bridesmaid dress to arrive that will either, miraculously fit me to a tee, or be 2 sizes too small causing my boobs to pop out while I’m walk down the aisle at my friends wedding in 3 weeks… ya.

I’ve been tracking the dress’s progress from Oregon to Arizona on Fedex’s tracking page, kinda like how a child tracks Santa on NORAD at Christmas… no that’s not a good comparison, cause that kid is caught up in the joy and wonder of the tracking and is filled with happy excitment for what Santa will bring them… I. am. not.

Let’s instead say I’ve been tracking the dress’s progress like a NASA scientist tracks an incoming astroid that could either miss the planet by miles OR hit us full on and hence decimating the entire human population.. ya that’s much more accurate.

Well, Fedex is aware of my anxious tracking and is being a dick.

The dress left Portland, Oregon on Thursday… even though the packing label was created on Tuesday… dude… anywho, the dress then was shipped from Oregon to Indiana… DUDE!!!

Let’s go to the map…I know some of you are probably saying words like “shipping hubs” and “ground transportation” and “don’t overreact” and to you I say, “SHUT UP, YOU WITH YOUR RATIONAL COMMENTS!!!”.

But thankfully, almost a week after it was sent, the tracker is showing that as of 7:50am this morning, my dress is in Scottsdale, Arizona and “On FedEx Vehicle for Delivery”… BUT the deliver time is estimated to be 7:00pm today… 12 hours… so I’m guessing this is the route the driver will be taking…