a)Kids are anti-veggies AS IS. Don’t believe me? Please, tell me how you would pitch AVOCADO to a kid. Where do you start? Is it the great bland taste? The slimey green nothingness? Hm?

ii) It’s the kid’s BIRTHDAY. Remember those? They came once a year, and the whole world would stop to recognize your existence at least for a song, and until you had no more cake to feed the fake excitement? Despite all the hoopla, it’s fair to expect a TREAT to your desires on that one day. Anything ranging from a toy car, trip to Chuck-E-Cheese (IN THE BAHAMAS), or maybe a U.S. Green Card would be acceptable. But, AN AVOCADO? GTFOH!

3) That kid’s either a future Academy Award winning actor, or he is an informed idiot. He clearly passed the “gratitude test” (which, btw WTF kinda draconian parenting trick was that, DAD OF THE YEAR?). More notably, the kid’s 5 TOPS… WHY and HOW does he know what an avocado IS? AT WHAT POINT in his life so far has anyone brought him THAT useless piece of information? Watch the video and judge for yourselves.