General thoughts, random rants, and questionable tips & advice from someone who is too young to be a curmudgeon, yet is one.

Quote of the Week

"One cool judgment is worth a thousand hasty councils."

- Woodrow Wilson

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

The Other Side of the Story of the Kangaroo Punch

I know this story is already old news, but I have to add
to it. They say there is three sides to every story; his side, their side, and
the truth. Since no one else has done it so far, I decided to reach out and hear
the other side of the story.

After a fair amount of searching, I was able to track
down the kangaroo and interview him via telephone. Below is what he told me.

To be read in an Australian ascent for full effect:

“Alright, Mate, so here’s what happen. It was just
another day in the Bush for yours truly. Just hoping around, minding my
business, doing kangaroo things you know. Mainly staying out of the Miss’s way
you know? She’s been a bit cranky of late, but I digress on that particular
matter.

“So as I was saying, Mate. I was on a bit of a walk
about, or hop about if you will. When all of a sudden, I saw this dog on a dead
bolt after some wild hogs. ‘That’s not right’ I thought to myself. Those wild
hogs are viscous buggars. They’d tear that poor pooch to shreds without a
second thought about it, ya know? So out of the kindness of my heart, I decided
to put a stop to it, before things went south for the pooch.

“That’s when I cut the hound off at the pass and put my
arm around him. Like any good mate would do when a pal was ‘bout to get into a
mess at the pub or something. I put my arm around him a said “whoa, mate! You
don’t want to scrap with those lads! They ain’t ones to mess with, ya know?”

“Bout the time I talked some sense into that hound, this
mate who was all fired up came running up to us. He was all in a rage over
something and I wanted none of that. So I calmly stood up to say ‘g’day mate,
me and this pooch were just having a friendly chat’ when the bloke got into a boxing
stance. Like he thought he was the Aussie Mike Tyson or something.

“I then put my hands up to defuse this misunderstanding.
Show that there were no worries. Then POW!! The bloody bloke jacks me right in
the mush!

“Well I just stood there for a bit, thinking ‘REALLY?” I
had the mind to teach that bloke a thing or two, ya know? But I’m a lover, not
a fighter. Remember how I said I was avoiding the misses ‘cause she was in one
of her moods? Well me getting in a good scrap wouldn’t help me much, now would
it now? So I said to myself ‘forget this noise’ and went on my merry way.

”I thought that was that, but no! When I hopped on home,
the misses was all fired up. Seems that internet is a blaze now with a video of that
tussle. Bazillions of shares, memes, articles and what not! Phone won’t stop
ringing. All my mates poking a bit of fun at me for just taking that blow. Just
nonsense I tell you.

"In hindsight, I should of just laid that bloke out simply for wearing his hat all backwards like a sissy big city boy."