An important thing to remember when going through a divorce is that feelings serve a purpose but are not fact. Feelings are based
on our inner reality while facts are shared observations over time.

It may be impossible to completely separate thought from emotion but
humans can see things subjectively (emotion) and objectively (mind). It
is an amazing ability.

Your inner, subjective reality is based on history, culture, education,
beliefs, and environment. It is a long nerve that holds all the
experiences, remembered or not, of your life. If something touches on a
memory that is attached to this nerve, the feelings associated with the
memory are felt in the present moment.

Objective and Subjective Wings

To look at things objectively, we step away from our history and
emotions to look at something as if it is happening to anyone.
Objectively, we see things in a larger context that includes our self,
the environment, other people, and their perspectives.

You can think of the subjective and objective points of view as the two
wings of a bird. Both are necessary for flight, and to be effective
they must flap together. The art of being human includes accepting and
coordinating the two points of view.