But his newest fight is with something more immediate — the notion that we all pay our fair share of taxes to the good old U.S. of A., which guarantees people the right to believe in evolution or in creationism as they choose.

The Hovinds question the court’s right to try them. They consider themselves missionaries exempt from taxes to a government that, incidentally, is providing them with attorneys.

When asked by the prosecutor to list his residence, Kent Hovind said he lives in “the church of Jesus Christ … located all over the world.”

Asked if he wrote and spoke English, this man who claims a doctorate said, “To some degree.”

In turn, Hovind, 53, had his own questions about the indictment, but Davis cut him off, saying, “The government adequately explained” the allegations.

The defendant understands the charges “whether you want to admit it or not,” he told Kent Hovind.

“I would like to plead subornation of false muster,” he said, announcing a defense I haven’t heard in 30 years of hanging around courtrooms.

The precedent is not good. A man in the state of Washington tried a similar defense a few years ago, claiming he was a “citizen of heaven” and not subject to state laws. But a court there ruled that when in Washington, do as Washington law requires, and found him guilty.

It’s almost as if Hovind’s trying to mount an insanity defense. Unfortunately for him, that’s not how it comes across, and “being a dickweed” is not a recognized defense.