Okay, so my best friend is the biggest woman-hater I've ever met. The thing is, her name is Sabrina. I've known her for about 9 years now, and she's the biggest male cheuvanist pig there is. That alone would be funny enough to start a thread, but I'll save the details of that for a later date. Right now, though, I have a request of you, my dear reader and forum posting brothers and sisters: I want all of your "Male Cheuvanist Pig" jokes. Just to get it started, and to show you what I mean, here are the very few that I know:

Q: What do you call a woman with two black eyes?
A: Nothing. You already told her twice.

Q: What does it mean when your woman comes out of thekitchen yelling at you?
A: It means you made her chain too long.

Now you get the gist. Help me expand her humorous repetoire with your additions to this thread.

Note to the readers of the fairer sex - please take no offence, as this thread is for the benifit of a female.

Never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.
Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.

I don't talk much. I don't post often. Look at my join date, number of posts and my title. These are all things to keep in mind when replying to me.

Whats wrong with the voilence against women part of the joke, if its all in jest. Its pretty obvious that nobody here advocates this voilence, and i dont really think its a problem (joking about it), anyway, here are some good ones:

Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their lives.
The one guy said, "I'm a YUPPIE. You know, Young Urban Professional."
The second guy responded, "I'm a DINK. You know, Double Income No Kids."
They then asked the woman, "What are you?"
She replied: "I'm a WIFE. You know, Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc."

Grand Deducer Watson of Sherlock. NoName, no pack drill. Astral zone changed five times a day (flexible). Great at manifesting parking spaces by thought control. Hatred of terminology of survivors and commitment to win-win reality.

i had a mammogram at md anderson (male)..hurt like a bitch ..i was the only guy in a room of 12 women..they had to cut me out from the herd when it became time to change into gowns (i was like if you screw those plates any tighter together i'll be leaving it here and it wont matter)..i didnt like the ultrasound either..friggin cold jelly

"If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas." - George Bernard Shaw

Q. How many men does it take to open a can of beer?
A. None, it should be open when she gives it to you.

The revolution has abandoned you. You're on your own now.

The Eleventh Commandment: Thou shalt not get caught.

fueledbycoffee wrote:America has a long and hallowed tradition of irrational tax evasion and belligerence. We are the national equivalent of the Nac Mac Feegle. And we're the leaders of the free world. Damn, now I've scared myself shitless.

I've split off all the arguing from this thread. Keep it in the Forum Issues thread, please. One is quite enough. If y'all wanna scream at people in other contexts, the politics forums are always open. Otherwise, keep it civil and at least vaguely on topic, or keep out of it.

Split off posts are available for viewing upon request via private message.

But suddenly, when she picked up one of those frog's legs with her fork and held it to her lips, a pair of burnt up human legs appeared! One strewn across the table and one stuck on her fork (with the foot in her mouth).