The collected works of Lana Brindley: writer, speaker, blogger

How Did I Get Here? Good Question!

Fitness First have been displaying a fairly bewildering advertising campaign over the past few months. The first ad in the campaign I saw happened to be this one:

I felt compelled to drag a hapless staff member off the reception desk to explain it to me and, to her credit, she tried, but in the end had to admit that it didn’t make much sense to her either. I pointed out that I had found myself in similar situations, but going to the gym had very little to do with it. I had to look further afield. When the campaign launched, the advertising journal Mumbrella got this quote from Sam Bragg, head of marketing at Fitness First Australia:

Yes, fitness is a hard sweat and you’ve got to work at it, but the end result can lead to a range of emotional and physical benefits. That’s why Fitness First exists, to get you to that moment.

Which is all well and good, but if you need it explained to you, then I think the campaign has, to use a technical term, failed miserably.

So I decided to do the only thing a truly sarcastic gym junkie could do: answer the question.

Got drunk, went home with a random, grabbed a burger on the way. Turned out the guy fell asleep before there was any action, but on the upside, the burger was tasty. Luckily, she can hold a plank for over two minutes and her extraordinary abs helped her sneak out without waking the neighbours.

Her grandchildren slipped psychotics into her dementia meds, she went wandering the streets of Sydney, stumbled down Oxford St in a haze, and was crowd surfed into the nearest club. She has no idea what’s going on now, but this guy here has lovely pink suspenders on, that her grandson would probably adore, and can you please tell her where you bought them? I’m assuming she can also bench 80kgs. At least.

He drove to the venue in a black van with his kit in the back, it’s been a really long set, and if doesn’t get to the bathroom at the end of this song there’s going to be Incident that probably get him kicked out of the band. Again. Thank god he’s been working on his glutes!

The family has been at this secluded swimming spot for hours, the kids won’t quit complaining about having no wifi, and their father pissed off in the car on some pretext about icecream over an hour ago. If she climbs far enough up the rock face maybe she’ll be out of earshot. Luckily, she has six months of Pump class to thank for her extraordinary upper body strength.

Spotted any other ridiculous “How did I get here” ads? I’d love to caption them for you!

Where the bloody hell are ya?!

Who wrote all this stuff?

All writing on this blog is the work of Lana Brindley and does not necessarily reflect the view of Rackspace, OpenStack, or any other group with which I am affiliated, except where I have used direct quotes (which are attributed to the original authors where possible). All images were either taken by me, shared under their individual licencing requirements, or obtained as stock photography.