Friday, May 7, 2010

This day is super dragging for me and I'm in a super bad mood. I don't know if it's because I really want it to be 6 already or if it's just because what I set out to accomplish this morning turned out to be a total bust.

So, this morning, I went to WEM to have a walk, get out of the house, and (most importantly) search for one very specific item. I can't really go into details as to what that item was (ooh cryptic), but let's just say that after scouring all of my favourite stores (and some random stores), in every nook and cranny, I realized my initial idea wasn't going to happen, I wasn't going to find this item (or any item that could sub in for the original item for that matter -- thanks last-hope-store-I-was-totally-counting-on for being closed forever), and I finally decided to quit looking.

Anyway, I saw this little vignette in Anthropologie which I kinda liked. Um, mostly the tiny sofa but the concept of a greenhouse-like side table was pretty appealing, too. Not the weird cafe tables with dishes stacked on them. I also realized here that the staff is almost too friendly. When one caught me sniffing perfume (which I don't wear at all, I just like smelling it in stores. I'm not going to buy it even if I like it), she asked me what smells appeal to me. Well, ask a dumb question and you'll get a dumb answer. So I told her I've been looking for almond perfume my whole life. Which is partly true. It's one of my favourite smells, but I came to the conclusion a long time ago that no one else must like that smell because there's no almond perfume in existance. Sure they put it with other scents, but you can never just smell it on its own. She happily nodded and said she'd search the store cuz she thought they had something just like that. And I rolled my eyes and wished she'd just leave me alone already cuz I wasn't really in the mood to be all smiley and perky with her by this time -- I was still on my specific quest and it had nothing to do with me, my likes, and certainly not with perfume. She trotted back with something or other, I don't know, but it didn't smell anything at all like almond. Then another sales girl came carrying yet another scent that she thought would work which only really confirmed my suspicion that neither of them actually knew what almond smells like. And then I actually spotted a perfume that I really wanted to smell just because the bottle design worked with the parameters of my search, but I couldn't get the damn lid off. So. Yeah.

At least I could get a bubble tea. I mean, that's something that would perk my spirits and, gosh, I haven't had one in ages. But again, like usual, the tapioca balls weren't ready. Sigh. Can I have a mini-rant about the Dream Tea House in WEM? Sorry ahead of time. Stop reading if you don't want to hear it.

I love their tea, so this is completely not about that. And I realize it takes a while for tapioca to cook, really. I do. I've made tapioca pudding. I get it. Plus I super get it cuz these tapioca balls are ginormous. So all right. They get extra cooking time and what not. But ok, here's what we all know to be facts about West Edmonton Mall.

it opens at 10;

just going by all my retail experiences, most employees probably get there at 9-9:30;

you can probably assume that once your doors are open, people are gonna want to come in and buy something, most likely something you sell;

it's the biggest, most popular damn mall in Edmonton.

So. WHY ARE THE TAPIOCA BALLS NOT COOKED BY 11?! WHY? EVERY.SINGLE.TIME.I.GO THE TAPIOCA BALLS ARE NOT COOKED. EVERY SINGLE TIME I GO, THE TAPIOCA BALLS WON'T BE READY FOR ANOTHER 15-20 MINUTES. IT DOESN'T SEEM TO MATTER WHAT TIME IT IS I ASK FOR TEA. IT'S ALWAYS ANOTHER 15-20 MINUTES.

So I smile politely and say I'll come back then. But guess what? I NEVER GO BACK. You know when I like to get a tea? WHEN I'M ON MY WAY OUT OF THE MALL. I don't want to carry a cold tea around with me in all the stores while I'm trying to look at shit. And guess what? When I'm on my way out. I'm on my way out. I'm certainly not sticking around for another -- I'm just going to go ahead and say half an hour for a friggin' $4 tea.

So, Dream Tea House. Here're your options:

GET THERE EARLY AND COOK SOME TAPIOCA BALLS SO THEY'RE READY BY 10. YOU KNOW THEY TAKE HALF THE DAY TO COOK. SO, LIKE, GET THE HELL ON IT. I USED TO GET UP AT 5 A.M. FOR A JOB. 5 A.M. I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I'M THINKING YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO GET UP MUCH EARLIER THAN 8 TO ACCOMPLISH THIS SIMPLE TASK;

CAN'T GET UP IN THE MORNING? GET THEM STARTED THE NIGHT BEFORE. I DON'T KNOW WHAT WOULD BE INVOLVED WITH IT, BUT FIGURE IT OUT SO YOU CAN AT LEAST GET THEM STARTED THE NIGHT BEFORE. START COOKING THEM AT HOME BEFORE COMING TO WORK. DO SOMETHING TO JUMPSTART THOSE CHEWY BASTARDS;

HOW ABOUT YOU JUST DON'T OPEN YOUR DAMN STORE UNTIL THE TAPIOCA IS DONE? HOW ABOUT THAT? THERE'S A NEW AMAZING CONCEPT FOR YOU. INSTEAD OF SITTING THERE WITH YOUR LIGHTS ON AND YOUR STAFF BLENDING AND LOOKING ALL YUMMY AND PROMISING. INSTEAD OF MAKING ME STAND IN FRONT OF YOUR FLAVOUR LIST TRYING TO DECIDE WHICH DELICIOUS FLAVOUR I SHOULD GET. INSTEAD OF MAKING ME STAND AND WAIT FOR ONE OF YOUR STAFF TO NOTICE ME. AND INSTEAD OF HAVING THEM COME OVER AND TELL ME THE TAPIOCA WON'T BE READY FOR ANOTHER 20 MINUTES. HOW ABOUT YOU JUST STAY CLOSED UNTIL 12 OR WHENEVER THE HELL YOU DECIDE TO COOK SOME TAPIOCA?

Ok? Ok.

So then I came home and started searching my favourites for new ideas. New plans. New strategies. And I tried a couple things which were complete failures. And then I got a headache. And then I was completely starving but I have no idea what to eat except what I want to eat which is bread and sugar which I can't eat because I really shouldn't. And then I got a phone call. And I thought it was mom, so I went running for it but it was the stupid Telus phone spammers again. Ok. Can I rant about phone spam?

JUST ASSUME EVERYONE HAS CALLER I.D.

CUZ EVERYONE PROBABLY DOES.

SO IF WE HAVEN'T ANSWERED THE FIRST TIME.

IT'S NOT GOING TO MATTER IF YOU PHONE THE NEXT DAY AT LUNCH; OR THE NEXT DAY AT DINNER; OR THE NEXT DAY AT BREAKFAST; OR THE NEXT DAY IN THE EVENING.

WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE. WE GOOGLED YOUR NUMBER. CROSS OFF OUR NAME AND MOVE THE EF ON. CUZ I'M SERIOUSLY SICK OF RUNNING FOR THE PHONE (WHICH IS ALWAYS IN A DIFFERENT ROOM THAN I AM) ONLY TO SEE THAT IT'S YOU. AGAIN. EVERYDAY.

And really, when I answer it eventually -- because I always do JUST SO I CAN MAKE YOU STOP PHONE TORTURING ME, I want to tell you off so badly I can hardly contain myself. But I'm too polite and I realize your phoners are just trying to make a living like everyone else and don't really deserve to be yelled at (and are probably yelled at all day, every day). So I don't. You've already got our internet and our cell phone. Just be happy with that money and call it a day. We are your customers, so I just wish you used common sense about it. Really. I really really do. It's common sense. It's right there. I'm telling you it. Please.

On the bright side, I decided I like the chocolate bread afterall. I thought I hated it, but now I've decided it's good. It's better if it's room temperature and not straight out of the fridge. And it's probably a lot tastier when I'm super annoyed and angry.

4 comments:

If only I could have eaten chocolate bread in my bad day a couple of days ago... The whole morning my deliciously smelling lentils were cooking -and the time I was about having them they were disgustingly undercooked. The chicken was black-burned. The Internet abandoned me and my keyboard was unable to write a letter, I broke the most beautiful vintage tray I had bought only a week ago (and which was making my life SURPRISINGLY more beautiful) and something more happened but... happily I can't remember today :)Bad days are good to look at them the day after!

Bad days are always better the day after! In fact, I usually think, why did this get me so upset in the first place? It's the bad day combined with the bad mood. Bad things happening aren't so terrible if you're feeling pretty happy, it's when the two combine to make things more terrible! It's like a weird bad mood super power.

I had some almond perfume a few years ago. I got it at Winners so unfortunately I have no clue if it's still available anywhere. Funnily enough, all the writing on the bottle was Greek. Also, I've been obsessively reading back through your blog since my friend linked me to an owl-y project on Hot Polka Dot and I stumbled upon a link to it. There were a bunch of other posts I wanted to comment on but I tend to be shy about that kind of thing for some reason. For instance, you mentioned Rocky Mountain House once...I grew up there and no one ever knows what the hell I'm talking about when I mention it (I live in Ontario now). Anyway, this is turning into a novel so I'll stop now. Love the blog!

Hi Tiffany! Thanks for your comment. That's super nice! I'm the same way about commenting, and I've stuck with one rule: I must have something to actually say before commenting. That may or may not have worked out well for me so far! Ah Rocky. I think it's one of those places you just have to go to to get. Like when people ask me where my high school was located, and I tell them it was on the highway. And they kinda just stand there and blink at me as if I misspoke. Next time I'm in Rocky, I'll take more "breath-taking" pictures of the place as evidence of its existence for others (but I assure you, it has barely changed).