Our Queer Bodies Are Beach Bodies Too

A friend of mine was recently shocked to learn that his satirically slender, practically porcelain, firmly flat “twink” body was considered desirable — even a privilege — in American gay circles. Growing up in central Asia in a heavily conservative, patriarchal, majority Muslim, post-Soviet society, his body was shamed and mocked for being “effeminate” and “weak.” Frequent state sanctioned violence such as corrective rape, public beatings, and honor killings make any type of public queer life or a tangible queer culture in his country of origin impossible. When I asked if gay men in his country celebrated his body as they do in America, he muttered “no” and looked hurt, as if the question underscored the humiliation and pain his naturally thin frame caused while growing up.

This short interaction affirms that there is no universal standard of beauty or sexual attraction. Rather, the body and perceptions of the body are influenced by culture and context. Bodies with less privilege such as queer, Black, brown, femme, immigrant, trans, and disabled bodies are more vulnerable to the wavering tides of cultural recognition and societal acceptance. My friend’s body can be glorified in the West and simultaneously a cause for violence in the East. Gay men do not have an inherent or genealogical attraction to lean, white youths. It’s our culture that elevates youthfulness, whiteness, and thinness and our sexualities follow suit. How else do you explain two completely different attitudes towards the same exact gay body?

Lia Clay

Gay men growing up, no matter how progressive the society, are often told that their natural authentic selves are other or less than. This experience is often replicated when somebody comes out and joins the gay community. A 2015 study found that rates of depression and anxiety were higher in men that recently came out than in closeted men. Simply put, gay men are often not that nice to each other. The queer community is not at fault for existing within a culture that attempts to condition who and what we are sexually attracted to. However, we are certainly responsible for upholding those standards of beauty by placing certain bodies on pedestals.

Lia Clay

Canonizing certain bodies is harmful to those who possess what is seen as a 'desirable' body, as well as those who do not. So for all of our sakes, let's stop doing that. As queer people, we have already established that society will not control who we love or how we live. Standards of beauty will crumble the moment we stop supporting their structures.

Let’s create a community where everyone is celebrated for who they love, who they are, and how they look. Let the queer community be a light that beams with freedom and self-acceptance for all humankind. In the past 20 years, the queer community has achieved cultural and legislative goals that are beyond our ancestors' wildest dreams. Why is this issue so different? I have no doubt the queer community is up to this challenge but it’s not enough to have faith; it’s important to do the work.

Lia Clay

This is me with two of my friends at the beach. This is us loving and embracing our own and each other’s bodies of varying shapes, sizes, colors, and gender identities.

Lia Clay

Adam Eli is a community organizer, writer, and content creator in New York City. He is the founder of Voices4, a non-violent direct action activist group committed to advancing global queer liberation. He believes that when you mess with one queer, you mess with us all.

them, a next-generation community platform, chronicles and celebrates the stories, people and voices that are emerging and inspiring all of us, ranging in topics from pop culture and style to politics and news, all through the lens of today’s LGBTQ community.