And they're off! The irregularly scheduled but widely anticipated 'holy-pope-on-a-rope, better-elect-a-new-pope' contest is finally under way. A minor point of interest is always the regnal name the new pope chooses for himself. It's a bit of a potential minefield, to be negotiated with care; there are a number of antipopes - 41 I believe - and popes of dubious character littered though-out history.

If I was a betting man, I'd wager on one of the classics. There have been 23 Johns, 16 Gregorys, 16 Benedicts, 14 Clements, 13 Leos and - in name at least - 13 Innocents. John-Paul must also be a contender; neglected for most of papal history, it jumped from zero to two entries in 1978 alone. It is trending strongly. Looking further down the list, there are some that sound odd to modern ears. While I'd welcome a pope Lando, Dionysious, Valentine or especially Hilarious, I'm not exactly holding my breath for one of these names to be revived.

(Disclaimer: while I hope no Catholics are offended by the above, and in some ways I wish the new pope well, I also hope you can understand why many people cannot take the election and especially the doctrine of papal infallibility seriously.)

Wonder if the job spec now includes information revealed via Old Harry's Game... ie. former popes are kept in a pit in hell where they are all permanently 8 and a half months pregnant (Only pope joke from OHG I can remember at the moment)

Much as I hate to cast doubt on a good story... I do find find that one a little unlikely. The first written account dates from more than a century after the supposed events and the ladypope is unnamed. In later accounts, she is referred to as Joan, and the date of her reign moved back 250 years. There could be some basis in fact, even if it's tenuous, but it all smacks of urban legend.

An alternative explanation for that throne is nearly as bizarre; it's possible that it was used to check if the Pope had been castrated. Quite how this would disqualify someone for popery is hard to say - maybe it was considered 'cheating' on the vow of celibacy.