Thoughts

Thought are only feelings too,
Thoughts that I think so often of you.
Feelings are my sensations within,
The mud and the rubbish,
The diamond ring.
Sensations are the messages you send to me,
A sword, a cross, an olive tree.
So many images flash through my mind,
So many feelings to which I am blind.
So many thoughts that I never dare think,
Like old dirty dishes in the kitchen sink.
Hidden away beneath the shit,
The mud the blood and the rest of it.
Thoughts and feelings lost in the wind,
What really mattered is hidden within.
Within the noise, the laughing crowds,
Between the lines of a song sang loud.
A whispered caress, a gentle breeze,
A butterfly's wing, down on my knees.
Beneath the thoughts, behind the scene,
Under the feelings and what has never been.
Though the holes in time and space,
What is always forgotten, your long lost face.
Shining brightly for all to see,
It was never you, it was always me.
Always me down in this pit,
Thinking and fighting to make sense of it.
Always me blocking the way,
Blocking the door to keep out the day.
Always me who had the last word,
Propping up, the blind and absurd.
Always me with something to say,
Thinking and feeling my life away.