From the chill lifestyle of Hawaii ("If you lived here, you'd be lazy too") to the arrogance of New York ("World's 14th biggest city, first biggest ego"), Jury leaves no state untouched.

Don't have the stomach to see him rip all the states in our fine union? No sweat. Check out the transcript to pick and choose which you'd like to see. Otherwise, grab some popcorn – or at two minutes, at least a piece of candy corn – and enjoy Jury's send-up.