living with borderline (BPD)

Breathing freely

As I was on the road a lot in the last few days, I took a little break from writing – I’ll try to catch up over christmas, there should be some time left.

This weekend I had a clarifying talk with my relative. As was to be expected he denies remembering anything that could be interpreted as invasive and as funny as that might sound – I believe him. After all, I can’t be the only one who lies to herself until the truth becomes blurred. And as we don’t have videos of our whole life as proof, I didn’t see any reason for convincing him of my memories or letting him convince me.

However, what really felt good was the sincere way in which he told me that he won’t press me, that he will contain himself. That he doesn’t have any expectations and I need not feel obliged to do or say anything I don’t want to. Never again will I hear that he is disappointed because I don’t like something. I feel like I’ve grown a few inches. The elephant on my chest vanished, for the first time I see myself as a grown-up and at the same time I feel a hundred years younger. The new year can come 🙂