Friday, August 04, 2006

Operation Heads Up keeps growing and growing. Check the list and volunteer for any write up you can do. Or add more topics to the list. Check the sidebar for direct links to current write ups...

Ankle is healing. AF is coming. It's time to talk about some blogs...

Thalia (and can we just pause for a moment and look at that beautiful hyperlink. No more awkward parentheses to take you to the blog in discussion. Now back to Thalia) has a brilliant post this week about SQ blogging during pregnancy and the trend for SQs to feel guilt/fear (as well as other emotions) when blogging about good news. Since all SQs fall on the right side of my sliding scale of happiness, I personally want to keep reading way into pregnancy, parenting, and beyond. Because, as I've said many times, I believe once a SQ always a SQ even if you move off the island and never look back. You're still touched subconsciously (or consciously) by the experience and it changes your point-of-view. And I'm interested in that point-of-view. And it was an interesting post because it's something I think about a bit. I mean, I'm in this limbo land between parenting after IF and TTC. And at times I need to mention my children to make a point and I feel a little twinge. Not a huge twinge because damn it, I worked hard to make those babies. And y'all know what I mean by hard work. I also wanted to create one blog--just one--that never changed. That never moves out of infertility so there could be a place like Cheers for SQ--a place where everyone knows your name and you can leave it for 10 years and come back and they're still talking about the same thing. I love it when blogs move on, but I wanted to make one that remained the same. That never had a baby and started blogging about babies. There are many good ones out there--and I agree with Thalia. Keep blogging. If I was your friend when you were in the stirrups, I'm still interested in your life after the stirrups. And I'm happy that you got your positive pink slip from your RE and are enjoying parenthood. You deserve it. You worked hard.

Ms. C over at it could take three months is having a hard week and could use some support. Her post on Thursday hit home. Hard. Because it's something I've thought often. And cried about often. The fight about something else that cuts down into the core of the matter--that I feel inadequate because I can't easily produce a baby. There have been many fights that have come back to that point; the anger I feel with myself, the huge gaping hole of loss where the vision of myself as a woman used to reside, the disbelief that anyone would choose to love me when they can upgrade to a better model. And he reassures--as often as I need it. And I was well aware before that post that I'm not alone with these thoughts, but her sentence: "I never realized that this journey would make me feel like this" was beautiful. You start this journey giddy with joy that you're creating a life, and then it winds and winds and winds until you're inside a tight little knot. And it's very painful when you find yourself in the center of the knot and remember how the ends looked so promising. I'm sorry, sweetie. Hang in there.

And I wasted all that birth control has an interesting post about the messages we pass along to our children. Her post is specifically about weight and how she does not want the cycle to continue of women hating their bodies. And even if it is inevitable that her daughter will be exposed to ideas when she enters the real world, she wants to change her own attitude about her body so that her daughter is not hearing her own mother speak negatively about her body. And it's hard. It is so hard. And you feel a small sense of futility about it--sort of like curbing the usage of curse words--because you know that your daughter (or your son) will be exposed to stereotypes and negative thoughts once they leave the safe harbour of your house. I was walking through a toy store today and there was a door knob sign (the sort of thing you hang on your door knob like a do-not-disturb sign) that said, "no fat chicks allowed." And it broke my heart. Hang in there, birth control waster. It's a fascinating post. Go read the whole thing.

Lastly, Amy at Inconceivable has a sweet post about her husband and the thoughts that keep her jumping back in the stirrups after each loss. I hope the dream turns into a reality. I hope there is such an outpouring of great energy your way that it all comes true. The egg dropped on Monday. Please send a lot of good thoughts her way for this cycle.

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She doesn't really know why she is writing about herself in third person, but you can read a lot more about her right here.

What is Stirrup Queens? It's a blog about infertility and pregnancy loss, an exploration of adoption and donor gametes, a bitch session about daily life and books, an outlet for stories and baking lessons written by a sustainable-living, kosher, Jewish, mother of twins conceived via fertility treatments who is still trying to add to her family.

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The Creme de la Creme list was last updated on 2/24/09 (8:01 p.m.). 219 posts on the list.

The list features a post from every participating member of the adoption/loss/infertility (ALI) blogosphere. Everyone is welcome and encouraged to participate. The list is open the entire year and is added to on a daily basis for several months. If you would like to participate, please click here and read the instructions to send in your submission.