(04-15-2012 09:50 PM)Putmalk Wrote: This could be useful for the near future, but not now. I will keep this offer on the backburner until I start polishing my WIP custom story. Thank you for the offer.

Okay, well, could you do a sample of any paragraph here? I'm curious to hear what it will sound like. I know the writing is mediocre but I was going to fix it. :/

And yes, full credit will always be given to anyone who helps.

Spoiler below!

17th of July, Year 1406

Today was my first day on the front lines. As I sit here on my bed writing this journal, I can't shake my own doubts about my decision to fight in this revolution. I care about our cause, and our repressed people deserve a better leadership. But, I despise violence, and I have had no negative interaction with our leadership, so why am I sitting here right now, rifle by my side, ready to die in order to topple our government?

Our people are starving, and many are shot to death in the streets for attempting to voice their concerns in government. We are in debt from the bloody Valkyrie Wars with Ardania that cost thousands of lives. And yet, here I am, wealthy and independent. I am orphaned, but I can't pinpoint the cause of that, and that certainly has nothing to do with this regime. I shouldn't have any problem with my government. And yet, once again, I'm still fighting to take them down.

As I write down these concerns, the answer suddenly comes to me. In my dreams, a woman cries out to me. Sometimes when I'm awake, I hear her voice surrounding me. She seems worried, afraid. I don't know who she is, and I want her to stop haunting me. I enlisted in this army in order to witness the most heinous of crimes, and hopefully, to shake these disturbing voices out of my head.

(04-16-2012 10:28 PM)Putmalk Wrote: Okay, well, could you do a sample of any paragraph here? I'm curious to hear what it will sound like. I know the writing is mediocre but I was going to fix it. :/

And yes, full credit will always be given to anyone who helps.

Spoiler below!

17th of July, Year 1406

Today was my first day on the front lines. As I sit here on my bed writing this journal, I can't shake my own doubts about my decision to fight in this revolution. I care about our cause, and our repressed people deserve a better leadership. But, I despise violence, and I have had no negative interaction with our leadership, so why am I sitting here right now, rifle by my side, ready to die in order to topple our government?

Our people are starving, and many are shot to death in the streets for attempting to voice their concerns in government. We are in debt from the bloody Valkyrie Wars with Ardania that cost thousands of lives. And yet, here I am, wealthy and independent. I am orphaned, but I can't pinpoint the cause of that, and that certainly has nothing to do with this regime. I shouldn't have any problem with my government. And yet, once again, I'm still fighting to take them down.

As I write down these concerns, the answer suddenly comes to me. In my dreams, a woman cries out to me. Sometimes when I'm awake, I hear her voice surrounding me. She seems worried, afraid. I don't know who she is, and I want her to stop haunting me. I enlisted in this army in order to witness the most heinous of crimes, and hopefully, to shake these disturbing voices out of my head.

I did the bottom paragraph, it isn't my best, ill admit and there are some weird banging noises for some reason, I can sort that out though, would be cool to tell me what you think, or if you would prefer a different tone!