4.27.2005

i had to get this photo out there for you all to see. the cupcakes were brought into my office last week by a patient who was finishing up their chemotherapy treatment. I joke around all of the time about being in the south, pretending have a deep southern accent(which i don't). my friends and i spend time coming up with "backwood's maxims," which started when jas and i got together. "if you don't know, don't go" "if in doubt, don't go out" "it's cheaper to keep her" "carelessness is dangerousness" "loose lips sink ships" and last but not least: "GET ER DONE." i just could not believe my eyes when i saw this little piece of cupcake humor. i know the patient wasn't trying to be funny nor is chemotherapy something to really joke about, but what set it off was that there were other cupcakes with other "inspiring" messages atop them. like "praise the lord" and "the last day of tx." girls in the office couldn't bare to eat the "praise the lord" cupcake, they thought it quite sacriligous.

i know the south is a different place. i don't seem to feel the roots here though for me. i tend to feel out of place with the verbal manifestations. and can't quite wrap my mind around pronunciation and dialect. the drawn out syllables, the shortening of others.

this week has been sorta hectic. i am not complaining one bit though. i wouldn't have it any other way at this point. i had to do some running around for work yesterday. the laptop we use broke and our hardware suppport company quoted a fixing price of 995. oh heck, that just isn't going to cut it. so i called our new software/hardware people and they suggested taking the laptop to bestbuy and getting a diagnostic on the thing. so i did in the pouring down rain. unga bunga. the little boy behind the it counter told me exactly what the first company said, but told me that they could send it off and get it fixed for 131. could not comprehend the difference in fixing costs. fixing hardware just doesn't make moolah these days. it is upgrade or shell out pockets and pockets of money to get an ole piece fixed i suppose. but the bestbuy thing is really cool. they will do a diagnostic for $59.99, but in all actuallity they did not charge me because i happened to know what was wrong with it. so if you're in the quandry i have been in. trying to figure out what to do. upgrade? replace? get fixed? take the thingy by bestbuy and see what they say. it can't hurt especially if you aren't too worried about your machine or the moolah in your pocket is less than what you'd like.

i was wrong, i have got four more postcards to write and then i can send them off. i am really excited for some reason. i have been thinking about it for a little bit. and i think that the reason the postcard thing is so cool for me is because it fits with how i have decided to share my work with others. i am slow at capitalizing off my art making and quick to give more of it away. the postcard thing is opportunity to give a little piece of me away. all i really desire is to have my work bring people joy and inspiration. i want them to be intrigued and mystified by what i do, but i want it to be easily accessible. sending cards to new zealand, netherlands, canada. how wonderful. like being in grade school, having penpals. the postcard swap o' rama is my way of defeating the world's rugged individualism, american minority rights, defeating the superiority driving us into lonliness, prescription drug addicted teens and housewives. gag me. gag me. i could be so disgusted to vomit on the ugliness.

parts of this world or society teaches rugged individualism. we are less of a community and the women around this world are changing that. i heard a statistic last night from laura bush with jay leno. her outreach is to the boys of america, because they are dropping out of school, and 59% of girls are going to college. to be brief. the shift is dangerous. there are not enough male role models blahblahblah. and society is forcing women out to work, due to the horrible feminist movement(my personal theory). women are forced to pick up where their husbands leave off. children demand school/league sports year round that cost tons and tons of moolah. women are demanding "me time" at the spas, sunning beds, cruise retreats, new suv's, nail jobs and botox jobs, disney world vacations. women now find equality with men in most every area and yet we are losing our families, our sons, our identities. increased violence between the times of 3pm and 6pm while parents are at work and children are left home alone. latch key festering under society's skin like a boil. i don't care what anyone thinks about laura b. her point is not one of politic. it is a point of higher learning, higher standard, there is nothing wrong with a belief system. what is driving our nation? no one person's fault. accummulation of poor efforts, poor money, greed, the communist mind set has got to go too. i am not sharing the way you want me to and there's nothing wrong with being wealthy. but hell. we can teach our boys to be strong, brave and couragous and forget about giving them the tools on how to build stable families. we can teach our boys how to fight for their rights, we can teach them how to get what they want by being violent, meanwhile excluding them from emotional, spiritual, and mental guidance. weakness is not bad. strength is not bad. without weakness and strength we'd have nothing to compare.

my life would be nothing without the bad days. so i insist on gettin' er done.peace and welcome the postcard in your life. cheese init all outta here.

4.25.2005

i really really really wish that it was still the weekend. i am soooo tired of getting up early and working. i just wasn't ready to come back to work today. the weather is just too pretty and all i would do is sleep, but who cares? i went to las marguaritas with the co workers after work on friday. i had my favorite combo-nation. guacamole, one chicken taco and a sopopilla with ice cream. then i walked over to greenlife and picked up some wonderful burt's bees cosmetics and my favorite rosemary shampoo. then i was off to take a nap before dread work. saturday and sunday i worked too, but it was really fine. i did have an awkward moment with one customer and i have all the gumtion in the world but need an editor to write the cvs corporation and give them a piece of my mind. the way corporate america works these days is one hundred percent ridiculous. i really do not like all of the plastic cards that grocery stores and rx have put out, like bi-lo, winn dixie, food lion, blockbuster, the gym et cetera. it is a scam that has got to be stopped. stop using your cards, don't give out your phone number when the cashier asks. pretend you did not hear a word of it. it is usless and sure cvs gives you those "extra bucks" back but i think that is a ploy to get customers to buy more and more. it isn't right!!! don't give into the american ways. buy from places like the dollar tree or big lots where there aren't stupid plastic cards inorder to get the sales price. not fair, not right, fight back.

so i got my postcards finished for the swap, but i've still got to mail them out. i sent a large scanned file to m. so i hope that works out for her to post. um let's see...things were really uneventful this weekend. i clearly did not have time to do much of anything. i did however get the best cat package from hannah in kc. gosh guys i thought all was super-dooper lost in the ups system. but to my gleeful happiness a boy from the english rose (the tea room on the first floor of my building) delivered the package on friday afternoon. wow can you believe it? i thought all was lost. hannah sent me some beautiful things, including a very nice bird stamp and a cut floral print ribbon i will most definitely be able to use on an apron. i've taken photos of everything, just waiting to get to upload, speedload, ripe load the stuff on to the pc/flickr acct.

i spoke with kate on saturday. she said her appt with the hollis gallery around the corner from me went really really well. i am truly excited for her. i cannot wait to see all of the beautiful nudes she ends up painting. i also could have an exhibit op there. we shall see. time is my only problem. wish i could do a million trillion things at one time, though. do not forget that mother's day is two weeks away. most of you are mothers already, i am not so i still find the holiday to be special. to honor and cherish my wonderful monamieta. and um yeah. das ist alas!

i love the flight stewardesses above and this great artist found skeleton's in hello kitty's closet. watchout. i'll post his name and link tomorrow.

4.20.2005

we had the mostest fun last night. i took a very short nap after work before going to the baseball game. we decided to take the electric shuttle down to the ball park. it is easier than driving and trying to find a parking spot downtown. we hopped on the shuttle with around twenty british or possibly scottish elderly's. how funny is that? here i am in chattanowhere and ah um my friends and i happen to get on a bus with twenty foreigners. that doesn't happen very often. but i see why they would want to travel to chatt. they decided to go to sticky fingers for dinner. unga bunga, definitely not my first choice. i suggested st. john's, hilariously they asked about the pickle barrel. i wasn't quite sure what they were looking for when they said "nice restuarant." hard to know what their persceptions would be of the ole barrel. not many people like it there, i cannot imagine my nana eating dinner there. it is a bar for god's sake. oh well maybe these ole chaps are used to the pubby scene. not that the pb is a pubby scene at all. quite the contrary. not to dis or anything.

we got to the game and i bought a bud. the teenage counter clerk said they were out of big river's vienna lager. gosh. so we found seating on the third base line. moments later a man came to us and said it was the family section and no alcohol was allowed. yikes. i had no idea as i led the crew over there. oh well so we ended up moving to the first base line up in the nosebleed section. which isn't really that at all, but no beer holders up there. we left during the seventh inning stretch. i did end up getting a summer wheat which was nice, making up for the cheap brew.

in leaving the stadium we found that the shuttle stopped running at nine thirty. so we decided to walk back to my apartment. from there we went to the local. i enjoyed the music mostly, but decided to go outside. we didn't stay too long. i came home and went bed after eating my midnight snack of wheat thins and cream cheese. oh yummy.

i am participating in the postcard swap and have my postcards ready to role. it is just a matter of addressing them and sending them out. i am excited about getting some really nice art from around the world. we are a society of mass productive consumerism. it is a blessing to have a culture of women who appreciate the authenticity of handmade items. my cards will be color copies of original collage. i do not think that anyone on the list myra gave me have ever gotten any of my cards or participated in a swap with me before. so i hope the cards go out fresh like.

i thought it would be nice to make my own lamps at one point. i even did once a long time ago, but there are limitless ideas for swaps. it is incredible. are you a light in your family, at your job, in your marriage? i really would like to be a light. and lu here is keeping an observation journal. how cool is that? it sort of reminds me of somethings i did as a highschool ap english student. special writing exercises to grow the mind. one thing though, that i just thought of is: if i have been keeping journals sense seventh or eighth grade, could i send them to the library of congress to have them perserved there for all the world to see? my impression is that the library of congress is a global library and that even countries aside from the usa can have documents protected and perserved. my understanding is that the loc takes like tons and tons of contributions each year. but from people like me and lu? wouldn't that be an extra cool project. start a traveling journal and at the end submit it to the loc? oh geez. i am too full and need to spend sometime just creating.

the other thing i have noticed is an audience. it is a tenuous thing to have strangers reading but alas i don't mind taking a global role call. and if you go to a comment page here at phantomcrimes you'll a piece of art at the top taking up a bigger portion. i don't remember the artist's name, but it is not me. props to the artist though. not trying to steal or cop a feel on the inspiration tip. just thought it was funny because i was messing around with html a bit a couple of weeks ago and never could tell what i had done. and then today. it came to me in an epiphany. complications.

4.19.2005

i am terribly excited today. the weather has been incredible the last few days and i feel a refreshed perspective. i do not have to work at the ole rx tonight. and so i am going to a lookouts baseball game. they are playing the mudcats. woohoo. then i'm off to the local schmocal for a brycon show. it has been so long that i cannot remember the last time i went out for an evening. i sound like a mother with children who never gets out of the house. but actually it is just the opposite for me. i just have the workforce mode on and can't seem to escape from having moolah ishas (issues).

oh but don't get me wrong. financially things are looking quite up. up up and away. i still have several goals to meet financially but i have sought accountability and have gotten what i need from that.

i thought i had more to say today and feel less inclined to waste work time here, gabbing away about the fun night to come. you may know this already but i still talk with the 45 Revolver. he was telling me about this incredible restuarant that he went to last night in chinatown, honolulu hi. 'right up my alley' he said, describing the paper mache' butterflies hanging from the ceiling and a tree with (fake) birds in it along with a cd player chirping out bird sounds. how wonderful does that sound? broccoli, scallops so big you could put a birthday candle in it and it might look like a tiny white birthday cake. all of this so imaginative and fantastic.

This clean modern-looking noodle shop is a major addition to the offerings in Honolulu's Chinatown. The inside is designed to look like a Chinese village with willow trees, rustic furniture, and trellises. But it's the food from the glassed-in display kitchen that's noteworthy: crunchy salt and pepper shrimp, hot and sour noodles, black bean chicken, and stir-fried clams with lemongrass. Much more flavor than traditional Chinese, plenty of garlic and chilies, much less oil, plus healthy alternatives like no MSG and heart-healthy olive oil. We like this place for lunches and late-night refueling.

there are pitstops in life all of the time and everywhere you turn. but often it isn't the pitstop that is a problem. it is how you look at the pitstop and if you are able to take advantage of what is offered at the pitstop.

i am going to breakfast with my sisters in laws on thursday morning. we have gone out before, but not for awhile and i miss them dreadfully. i work with my brother's wife mc, but she's in grad school, doing clinicals and treating the heck out of patients. laurie is a rn up on the children's floor here at the hospital. funny how we are each work within the medical field somehow...somewhere. they are both different from me. mc is practical and smart, often ditsy humor comes out of her mouth. she's less shy and hesitant in comparison to the beginning of her relationship with my brother ethan and our family. laurie is sweet and tenderly generous, she and aaron dated from eighth grade up until a year ago when they got married. geez, i've never dated anyone that long before. laurie is a creative and takes lots and lots o' photos. but aside from our differences we really get along very well. they are a joy to be with and tend to bridge gaps between my brothers and i. aaron is constantly busy as well as ethan. oh brother.

well i'm outta here for the day. tired of writing and working simultaneously.did you see they've chosen a new "german" pope? interesting...isn't it.

4.18.2005

i had a fairly nice weekend. yesterday felt like a vacation. i did not have to work at the rx and so sleeping became the priority. i missed kate though while she was up. but i did start a new painting yesterday. it will actually be a workforce collage, based on all of my not being at home but at work instead. i have gotten a couple ribbon commitments for the aprons. that i am seriously making. i will only beable to make a limited addition of three. so two down one to go.

i hope you all made your taxes. CBS News Correspondent Bill Geist visits Lawrence, Kansas, where residents celebrate tax day with a party at the post office, complete with a band, road kill stew, and a tap dancing politician.

i have been thinking alot about things. i had a really good conversation with my mom on saturday night. she suggested that i go to a different church. yikes. making a large move would mean making smaller moves where i am at now. which leads me to this book i have heard about which i would suggest some of you might want to pick-up and read. BLINKCBS News Correspondent Martha Teichner explores the world of snap judgments, rapid cognition, and what can happen in the blink of an eye, with Malcolm Gladwell, the author of the best-selling book, "Blink." last night the fire alarm in my building went off twice. the first time was at eleven pm, the second at two thirty am. i sat out on the street and in my car for an hour waiting for the firemen to find the source...and ok the re-entrance to my apartment. talk about a completely nerve racking experience. i am mad at the fact that the alarm went off like that last night. it frightens me and i hate that feeling. i do not want to be afraid. and how am i supposed to know if there is a fire at the other end of the building. what do people do when they are in the middle of taking a shower and the fire alarm goes off.

anyway. i do not think that i would be so worked up about a stupid fire alarm except that i cannot imagine having to go through a fire for a second time. would that just be outrageous? at least i could take it as a sign that i could move on.

i want to be a dj and run records like hsh and matisyahu and maybe a loop of "another one bites the dust." i think i'd like some turntables so if you have some that you just want to give away or if you want a small fee, let me know. i'd like to have a one woman sound clash.

4.14.2005

i started my martha aprons last night. so far so good. they are going to be double faced. with a color on each side, reversible so to speak. but what i really need is a ribbon of some sort. for the loop around the neck and the tie behind the back. i am up for a swap. if you are? you provide the ribbon, which should be at least an inch wide and 3 yards long. and i'll provide you with a finished apron. i'm debating pockets. i am too in love with the design, i do not want anything obstructing it. from dish towel to apron. from my home to yours. as soon as i can i will take photos of the process. i am excited about this, my very first fabric project. i did cut off a dress once while living in california and hemmed the poop out of it, but no sew sense.

in other bside news: no luck with job hunting. do you have an opinion of which is best, career builder or monster? i'm presently working both for me. i will have to take off a day just to do some searching.

oh and for those of you unsure of what the unified field theory is, a.k.a. the theory of everything. i first became interested after reading a beautiful mind. einstein was the promotor of uft, but it seems as of late the scientific world has turned it's cold shoulder. in search of more information i turned to the www. fortunately for me i found a nice site that has nothing to do with the uft. only that nathan shedroff feels it plays a role within design. my call says the utf plays a role in everything. the string theory is just a microscopic look into the uft and that's where einstein's efforts become null and void. i have also seen the wonderful pbs special regarding the uft. for now that is all i have to say about that.

i do not feel that science is necessary in my life to live freely from the confines of monotony. i enjoy the inner working of the minute and beautiful things. in the pbs special with brian greene he expresses that one could stand against a wall for longer than eternity and go through it, but by that time the person would have died and decay setting in would allow the passing of atoms with in atoms to atoms. so i am so certain that barely touches on making coherency, but i enjoy speaking of these sorts of things.

i hope you all have a fantastic weekend. the southeast looks as though the weather will be nice. i am encouraged by the fact that human nature in all of its destruction, continuously moves forward. when the weather is nice the movement is more visible. all sorts of people are out and about. you all should be those people. go out with the fam and enjoy the cool night air.

4.13.2005

look at this precious boy. josiah james knutson is in for a big little sister surprise coming soon. personally i cannot wait and i am not even the one carrying the child. i have always been close to different children at different times, during, after and throughout my babysitting experiences. but man oh man. when you see a young life come into the world it is an entirely different feeling. even though i didn't labor josiah there is a definite closeness i feel toward him. it goes beyond a verbal expression. a memory = an experience.

4.11.2005

no link here. sorry. i am really excited about this little project that m. has started. i hope that i get chosen to participate.

i have been playing with i have met some really incredible people. clearly inspirational.

i must apologize for not posting in such a long time. work time should be work time and i often feel badly for playing blog during my lunch even. i have been having really good times. i recently could not handle the atmosphere here @ the workforce and felt i needed a break so i took last friday off. i ended up going to kmart to look for martha's melamine. instead i ended up getting two little summer shirsts. i found some other things for eden that'll have to be a nice little surprise down the road. fun things for new knutson baby. i did get some nice knives, forks, and spoons dish towels that i hope to make kitchen aprons out of or at least an artist smock. we shall see. so far i've not taken any time to be creative. more like cleaning up the apartment. organization of collected things from grandparentals and such. i did finally get the bunches and bunches of knitting needles and a nice box of tiny date stamps from the 1800's. gosh i cannot believe i have these things. passed down from generation to generation.

i have been asking for joy. and i feel i am receiving the ability to look at things in a less negative way. i'll be honest and say that escapism is my second nature. when the going gets tough cat gets going. yuck such an ugly habit and character flaw. well i truly am up for a faith based risk. i am planning to visit nyc and hawaii(again). i also am currently looking for new employment. i have to little ideas for a new job, but we shall see, we shall see. i have to keep all doors open at this point. i'm trying to think about all the things i feel like i've been doing. oh i did go to my favorite place in the world. blueskies. i got a nice little one of these. i also got some of the beautiful stationary by snow&graham. i can't seem to pass up on blueskies.

yesterday i took a sick day and got the city paper and the nytimes. i wish that i had time to sit and read the paper. i'd rather not have to wake up early just to read the paper, but sometime in the middle of the day would be nice. i visited with meine bruder aaron. drank a couple turbo dogs and talked redbank highschool, government education crap, and literature. boy have i got to swallow my pride. boy i have so much to learn and i have so little time.

the unified field theory is on everyone's lips lately. have you noticed?

4.07.2005

awgh. i do not understand the www sometimes. i have a somewhat difficult relationship, love and hate. i had just gotten finished writing all of life's down pours, when i went to add the photo above all hell broke loose and i lost everything. a challenge i have yet to desire. so i am back here at the drawing board.

4.04.2005

a. catching up on sleepb. timing a vacationc. turning over a very new leafd. learning htmle. red rover, clean cloverf. wishing i could b.s. my way into progressg. thinking about the week and wondering if i'll make ith. leaving this job for the day

4.01.2005

the many of my hour represents most of what i love on a daily basis. my infinite desires and torn complications ring through when it comes to my pure aesthetic. that is what i find to be the most pleasing. aside from what everyone else thinks. my version of existentialism. what i mean is that i have a good reason for liking the beauty in almost anything. my newest intrigue is music, but there are a thousand other things. matthew miller came from the television screen into my mind, something about his music struck me in a different sort of way. i am not sure if it is too religious or that the live versions of his music weren't mixed well on the soundboard. umm. i have only just heard of matisyahu within the week, so you won't catch me saying its the best, but i enjoy mostly all music except for country and i'll be unapologetic about that.

the other thing i have found to be exceptionally pleasing is brevity's photos. the photo below is an example of an extreme mind willing to try anything. the photo idea was inspired by jason salavon. i appreciate the fact that there is abstract photography and that artists are pushing the envelope within that genre. i enjoy photography, but have never taken a class to learn the field well.

i think that i will be missing 'progress.' i am a bit disappointed with myself for not attempting a concept for the all member ava show.

beck has a new album out too did you all know? have a good weekend listening, ears wide open. breath freely. sleep fiercely. eat quality. yum