The Leader of NothingBy: Paula L. Jones

She’s too soft, she’ll crack. My eyes dart across the table, going from friend to friend.Not Raleigh… too tough, she’ll resent my telling her what to do.Taking a sip of my soda, I hear a splash as some kid behind us jumps into the pool. My gaze falls on the new girl, Beth. All five of my other friends are laughing as they point out Nicholas and Nate Bardwell’s matching Speedos. The Bardwell twins are the product of a multimillionaire oil tycoon who landed himself an ultra chic wife from some European country where Speedos are, apparently, all the rage. Unfortunately, here, at The Hillside Country Club in Louisiana, Speedos are not all the rage.Without taking my eyes off of quiet Beth, I interrupt the buzz of laughter my friends have created, “Ladies, you can laugh now, but someday one of those Speedo-wearing nerds is buying me a country manor in England.”This makes them laugh even harder and I can’t help but smile. Though, I notice, Beth doesn’t seem to be amused. She’s picking at her sushi like she’s not all that hungry and the memory of her enthusiastically talking to Nicholas Bardwell on the front steps of our High School, on the last day of school before Summer vacation comes to mind.Oh.So they’re…friends.“Besides,” I clear my throat, “Nicholas is kind of hot. Am I right Beth?” The way she jumps, startled, as she looks up at me, you’d think she’d been shot. “W-what?” She stammers and I catch Raleigh looking at her with a disdainful frown. Raleigh hates weakness. Which, to be perfectly honest, is why I hate Raleigh.“Beth, you’re so smart.” I say, and mustering a sincere smile, and then catching Kate, Mia, Talia, and Elise’s eyes, I point my chopsticks at Beth, “A smart woman knows when to keep her conquests to herself.” The four girls nod in agreement but Raleigh makes a snorting noise, “Conquests? What are we, at war?”I use my chopsticks to pick up my last piece of sushi as I reply, “From the way you charged Talia’s ex at my party last night, I’d say you’re more equipped to answer that question than I am…solider.”Talia gasps and I don’t need to look up from my sushi to know she’s giving Raleigh a dirty look. I don’t dislike weakness the way Raleigh does. That’s because, unlike Raleigh, I’m smart. Weak people crave leadership and if I’m anything, I am a leader. I know that if all of my friends were wanna-be Alpha’s like Raleigh, there would be constant warfare. I don’t want that, I want peace…and peace happens when I’m in charge. This is a concept Raleigh hasn’t quite figured out. She’s been trailing behind me all summer, fighting to be heard, struggling to get ahead of me, trying to steal the friends I’ve amassed. At first it was amusing, but now it’s just annoying.

I take a sip of my soda and come to a decision; I’m going to kill two birds with one stone. “Beth, you’re done eating aren’t you?” I ask, as I push my plate away from me.She looks up at me with wide brown eyes, that need to be led, “Yeah.”I nod towards the pool, “Come with me by the pool, I need to tell you something.”A wave of silence sweeps the table and I know the others are jealous.I smile at them, “We’ll be back, don’t say anything too juicy while we’re gone.” They fall over themselves with sarcastic comebacks, but I’m not really listening, I’m thinking of my plan and hoping it doesn’t have some gaping hole that’ll get me in trouble. We walk to the edge of the pool. I hear a wolf whistle and grin in the general direction of whoever it was.

Sitting with our feet dangling in the water, I watch Beth’s eyes dart to Nicholas.Interesting. “You really like him, don’t you?” I ask. She blushes and dips her finger in the water as she decides how to answer my question, “He’s a nice guy.” I watch her draw a circle in the water with her finger as I lick my lips and get to the point, “I’m friends with his Mom, Mrs. Bardwell, and I’ll put in a good word for you if you help me out with something.” The finger stops, I glance up and meet Beth’s eyes. The concern in them catches me off guard, “Sure, what’s wrong?” Shrugging off an odd feeling that almost stops me from going through with it, I clear my throat, “My mom’s new boyfriend is…” The words are stuck in my throat as the mental image of the creep my mother’s made a fool of herself for, comes to mind.

He and some tall, blonde stranger (a woman who’s his age and not at least twenty years his senior, like my mother is) are locked in an embrace and though my heart’s pounding in my chest, I can’t look away… “Anna?” Beth’s hand is on my shoulder, she seems alarmed, “What is it?” Pulling myself together, I continue,

“He’s cheating on her…with Raleigh.” I watch Beth’s eyes widen as the lie leaves my lips, “I need proof because my mom won’t believe me if I don’t have proof. That’s where you come in.” She’s quietly looking down into the water. I thought she’d ask me for details, eager to help with the scandalous plan. After all, assisting me with something like this is a way for her to ensure our friendship. I open my mouth to continue when she finally looks up. The disappointment in her eyes makes me shut up. “You,” She shakes her head and then stands, “are disgusting.” With that, she walks away. The water still ripples where she sat and all around me, kids nosily splash. Too shocked to move, I seem to be frozen in place. Her words, as sharp as a bee sting, leave me to wonder if she’s right.Am I disgusting?

Licking my lips, I straighten my shoulders, stand and step out of the pool.

I'm not disgusting, I'm a leader.

And sometimes a leader has to do what a leader has to do.

As this thought runs through my mind, I trip on a pair of goggles, before falling flat on my face.

On the steps of the pool, I flail around like a half-dead roach, almost standing and then repeatedly slipping, as I unsuccessfully try to get to my feet.

The amount of laughter that rings in my ears is enough to drown even the most experienced swimmer of the social circles.

I'm having trouble catching my breath when two hands suddenly grip each of mine, carefully pulling me to my feet.

Thank God for my friends, I think, Every leader needs a Kate, Mia, Talia, and Elise.

Glancing up, it's not the faces of my fabulous four that come into view.

I'm shocked out of my mind to see that it's Nicholas Bardwell and Beth who've grabbed each of my hands.

"You OK?" Nicholas asks.

All I can do is nod,"Yeah...thanks."

People are still laughing, and though I'd never admit it to anyone else, this isn't the first time I've felt like the leader of nothing.