Thursday, October 20, 2011

"Silence..I discovered, is something you can actually hear...."

This morning, as I woke up extremly to early for some unknown reason...maybe it's all the numerous thoughts that keep running through my head that just won't shut up..or maybe it was the thought that I could enjoy a nice peaceful cup of coffee before the sun came up in silence...whatever the reason, I was up shortly after 5:30. I pulled on my comfy, warm Gap pants..started the coffee maker...and stood by in silent anticipation of my morning goodness...I grabbed my cup and filled it to the brim...snatched my oversized blanket off the back of the couch and gently opened the back door..afraid that If I made any sounds then I would shatter the peaceful silence...and stepped out back to quite a cold morning but It didnt matter...It was quiet...

While I sat there enjoying my 30 minutes of solitude before the choas of the day started...my mind started to wonder as it always does...Seriously, sometimes I don't understand how my small head can hold as many thoughts as it does without busting at the seams...Have you ever really sat and thought about the word silence in detail? What it means? By Wikipedias definition Silence is defined as : the relative or total lack of audible sound...often referred to as no sounds uttered by any body in a room and or area...Hmmm...while this is true I can't help but to think..silence never really is just silent..is it?

There are many forms of silence and each of them means a different thing...There is the silence that comes with the early morning where the world is quiet..There is silence after a rainstorm, and before a rainstorm, and these are not the same...There is the silence of emptiness... the silence of fear...the silence of doubt... There is a certain silence that can be heard from a lifeless object such as from a chair...or from a piano with old dust on its keys..There is angry silence...and there is comfortable silence...There is the silence that claims a picture on the wall....These are the kinds of silences that can speak... It's voice depends on which type it is... the chair may have been left by a laughing child or the last notes of the piano may have been played by happy family at Christmas time...the picture may have been taken on the happiest day of your life...the words from the picture are spoken from the look in your eyes... The angry silence may be unsaid words that are floating between one person to the next...just because they have not been spoken does not mean that you can't hear them loud and clear...The comfortable silence may take place between two friends that no words have to be spoken...you just know...Whatever the mood or the circumstance...the words are there... It is a soundless echo...

Silence can be golden but it can also be brutal...because in those unhinged moments when words have run out and you are now sitting in absolute utter complete silence....there is a unspoken conversation this is going on whether you recognize it or not...

I can remember clearly the day of my wedding...there was a moment right before my dad walked me down the isle to Travis. I was beyong nervous and I was waiting on my cue to go through the double doors to walk to my future husband...My dad and I stood there in complete silence but in that quiet moment he squeezed my hand and I looked at him and he smiled at me..."I love you and I am proud of you" is what that silent moment said. My mother and I have not spoken over some differences that we have since February of this year...Silence...there are no words that are being spoken but we both know what is being said. In April, the worst tornado's that my beautiful state of Alabama has ever seen...ripped through Tuscaloosa and the surrounding towns...destroying many people's homes, businesses, and lives....I told Travis and Khristian that for Mothers day all I wanted to do was go volunteer and help...While there I met a family that did not speak very much English and had lost their home along with most eveything they owned. As I was handing the mother a pack of diapers and wipes for her newborn baby...she hugged me so tight and when she finally let me go..the words were clear... "Thank you"..Last night, as I was sitting at the kitchen table doing endless amounts of homework and studing with Khristian...I looked over and Travis was cleaning the kitchen for me..I caught his eye from across the room and without saying a word...he understood how much him helping me out meant to me...

There are so many instances where silence really isn't silent...you can almost see the words hanging in the air...unspoken conversations are going on all around us...Even this morning, when all the world was silent around me... =)

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About me

Jessica

I am a artistic soul that loves music, art, and anything in between. Readling a good book is the best, and I always get sad when it ends... I love shoes, watermelon jolly ranchers, and the beach..I tend to speak before I think..but there is always a truth to what I say! I have a 9 year old son that brings out everything that is best and worst in me..Sometimes when I look at him its like I'm looking in a mirror..Being his mother is my greatest accomplishment... I have been married to my best friend for 6 years..He truly amazes me everyday..I am not perfect and I love learning about myself day to day..some good and some bad...but all in all..I kinda like me.. :)