Writer: Good Days… Bad Days

Everyone has good days and bad days. I think for the writer, trying to eek out a living, pursuing their dreams, these days are more defined.

Due to a CreateSpace and an Amazon snafu, I released Mercurial Dreams yesterday. As copies of it sold, I wondered “What the hell am I doing?!? Why do I keep doing this? Am I really this much of a masochist?!?”

I am constantly doubting myself. Am I good at this? I think I am, but what I think and reality are often different. Steadily expanding sales should point to the fact that I am in fact good at this, but it doesn’t.

And I am constantly rethinking strategies. I know a handful of authors who are only on Amazon and are doing well… better than I am, my aunt included (and I keep getting reminded of that). So, I ask myself did I expand too fast? Should I have spent a year or two building up my KDP Select library and then, only after I had gone through and paid my dues to Amazon moved into other avenues? Especially since the bulk of my income comes from Amazon.

Now, last month was stellar on B&N. But I still sold more on Amazon, twice as much, possibly a little more. And Amazon does a lot of promotion for books enrolled in KDP Select.

My forays into the world of editors has been a disaster. Even the ones that came “highly recommended” didn’t quite pan out. Don’t believe me, read Dark Cotillion or The Dysfunctional Affair. Hell, the editor for Tortured Dreams changed the name of the author of The Jungle from Upton Sinclair to Lewis Sinclair and I didn’t catch it for six months. That was my fault and I’ll claim responsibility for it. (All though, I think I have the editing sorted, finally!)

Today, I sit and scratch my head and continue to doubt and wonder and ask “what if…” It’s difficult to be a writer and have bad days. It makes it nearly impossible to put thoughts down on the page.