Tuesday, 10 April 2007

Learning curves take one of two shapes. Sometimes a gentle sine wave, lifting you quietly up and away from your present state and onwards via a steady and almost unnoticeable natural progression over months and sometimes years.

Or they're just a vert ramp heading straight into nothing. No handrail, no parachute. Freefall.

This year is going to be the latter. I've thrown myself into the weekend-on/weekend-off maelstrom of driving, riding and eating that is cross-country racing just to see if I can, really. After a (mostly) gentle easing-in at the Gorrick spring races we went to Thetford this weekend for the opening round of the NPS series. It has a long and high-falutin' name now but I shall stick to NPS because column inches are sparse and anyway, when I hear the word 'optic' I think of vodka, not XC racing...

An early start sees three bikes, a lot of cake, a brace of camping equipment and two tired bodies heading up the M23 through the dawn fog. As ever it just feels right to be driving to a race and watching the sun come up; it feels like, well, racing. Seeing familiar faces after what's been a short winter also feels like home. Back with the family again. Things have changed in my life and in those of others and there is news and gossip to share. Shiny bikes to prod and new race kit to admire. The sun's out and it's summer come early, under the pines where the last year ended, and again it just feels right; a balance of nerves and comfort, eager to go, ready to stay.

So, then, the learning. Notes to self:

Start is, if not everything, a fair percentage of it. Sprint til your eyes bleed, make yourself big, grow pointy elbows but get into the singletrack first if it's what you're good at. Know who is in your race. Do not confuse juniors for experts - they go damn fast but only for two laps, whereupon you will have to complete a third having ragged yourself silly trying to keep up with them. Smiles and grimaces look very similar to an onlooker when deeply sweat encrusted - at least try to make a funny joke to drive home the point that you are having fun, honest, even if it doesn't look like it from there. Singlespeeds don't do anything for the ability to push the big ring down a Thetford fireroad, ride the road bike more, and harder. Don't neck a litre of fluid thirty minutes before a 100km race having somehow lost the slot for breakfast in the pre-race time concertina and then expect to be able to hold off the need for a pee stop until the end. And yes, a mid-race pee is the longest one in the world as you perch in the bracken watching rider after rider catch and pass you and how the hell did all that water fit in there anyway? Always leave enough time to check your bike over for gremlins. Riding 100km with the front brake jammed on and a hastily-switched-the-night-before tyre buzzsawing its way through the chainstay on every left-hand corner will undoubtedly make you very, very cross, no matter how many times you tell yourself it was good resistance training.

And finally - it's a toss up between pancakes, tea and crying as to which gives most relief to which part of a battered racer's body and/or soul when everything is covered in dust and the sun is going down on a very long weekend.

Minx

RIDES a Surly Cross Bike, a borrowed fixie (badly) and a steel Jones. Yes singlespeed and with the truss fork since you ask.... LISTENS to Midge Ure 'May Your Good Lord' in her head when climbing hills. Has RACED slowly but with passion. WISHES she had the attitude of Marla Streb. THINKS Greg LeMond chasing down Laurent Fignon in 1989 was the best tour ending ever. LIKES pre-ride coffee at Marrocos. BEST TRAIL riding with Jeff Jones in Oregon. NEMESIS Porcupine Rim. LOVES the moments it comes together. HATES the hours that it doesn't. MISSES Marco Pantani.

Jac

LIVES sunny/windy Edinburgh WORKS doing hard sums on spreadsheets RIDES oh dear... Santa Cruz Juliana Superlight, pretty little Spot Singlespeed, Santa Cruz Juliana Cushtail, Cannondale CX9 and my trusty, very old, very beat up Specialized Hardrock commuter BEST TRAIL the extreme canal towpath near Trevelez and Stoory Brae FAVOURITE POST-RIDE FOOD a big mug of hot chocolate and really good gingerbread lathered in butter (proper Scottish style!) FILM Cinema Paradiso (it makes her cry every time) SONG Ca Plane Pour Moi (just for the memories of bad dancing at SSWC in Stockholm) WISHES the tune of Dad's Army would stop going round in her head every time she races

Vikki

LIVES the hills of Lancashire. WORKS not since returning to Uni to be an art student. RIDES Surly Cross-Check, On-One Pompino, Endorphin VP-4 and a Voodoo Bokor - anything with pedals really. BEST TRAIL the tree and nettle lined, leg scratching trails through the woods at the end of my road. FAVOURITEPOST-RIDE FOOD malt loaf, toasted bagels or marmite on granary bread and mugs of tea. FILM 50 First Dates for when only cheesy will do, Fargo for something sinister and Le Grand Bleu for pure inspiration. SONG sorry but impossible for an i-tunes junky to pick just one.

Fi

LIVES sunny Clifton in Bristol. WORKS as a lecturer at UWE. RIDES Kona Hei Hei, Marshmallowed Commencal Supernormal (handmedown from Jenn), Trek singlespeed cross bike, Scott cross bike, On One singlespeed, Focus Cayo road bike. BEST TRAILsingletrack descent off Chinley Churn in the High Peak. FAVOURITE POST-RIDE FOODtea and sandwiches. FILM Truly, Madly, Deeply for wistful moments, or anything James Bond for Sunday evening escapism. SONG‘Where is the Love?’ by the Black Eyed Peas.