Friday, August 27, 2010

Free Lessons from Tiger Woods

Free Lessons from Tiger Woods

Tiger and Elin finalized their divorced recently. It was a sad day for the Woods family. When Tiger was asked at The Barclays about his divorce he used the word ‘sad’ five times to describe how he feels. "I certainly understand why she is sad," he said. "And I feel the same way. I don't think you ever go into a marriage looking to get divorced. That's the thing. That's why it is sad” Sad indeed. It’s sad for Elin, for Tiger's mother, for the Nordegren family and it's sad for his children, Sam and Charlie.

Dreams are precious but fragile. Elin Nordegren was hesitant to marry Tiger Woods. She was aware of the women in his past. She had a fear, perhaps a premonition, that he would fail to be faithful. Her dream was to marry, to love and to be loved, and to create a happy and peaceful home for their children. Her dream was shattered nine months ago when her husband backed into a fire hydrant. Elin recently interviewed for People Magazine and had this to say: "I have been through the stages of disbelief and shock, to anger and ultimately grief over the loss of the family I so badly wanted for my children…."

All reports seem to indicate that Elin is a very genuine type of person. She was very dedicated to avoiding the limelight and protecting her children from the fame of their father. She never attempted to use the wealth and popularity of her husband to promote herself. She was very seldom seen at Tiger's golf tournaments and Tiger seemed to share this determination to protect the family from the paparazzi.

Sad indeed! Elin lost her dream and Tiger lost his reputation. The question I would like to hear Tiger answer is: "Was it worth it?" Did Tiger think that he could love twelve women and they would all be committed to protecting him? Did he think all of them would be content with a sexual rendezvous only to be put back on the shelf and told "don't call me, I'll call you? Did he think he could live in the public eye and keep his private life a secret?

We may never know the rationalizations that went on in the mind of Tiger Woods. I'm sure he thought what almost all men think who betray their wives and break their wedding vows…"What she doesn't know won't hurt her. My affairs will have no affect on my family." Many men and women seek solace in that lie as they rationalize inappropriate relationships. They cling to the idea that others won't be affected by their actions but they fail to realize the subtle affect the affair has on their own personalities. Do you think Elin was suspicious when Tiger seemed to be so preoccupied? When he became less talkative because his mind was dwelling on things he couldn't share? Do you think Elin wasn't wondering why there seemed to be a wide gulf developing between them? How much passion did Tiger have for his wife when he was dividing that passion among numerous other women?

Tiger has learned a difficult lesson. Our actions have consequences and our sins will eventually find us out.. It is so important that we stay rational and think properly. How we think determines what our values will be and what our values are determine how we behave. Tiger has a phenomenal mentality when it comes to analyzing a strategy for conquering a golf course but when it comes to building a family and retaining integrity he hasn't been thinking so well.

Sad indeed! Perhaps Tiger will learn from his failures. Some men do and some don't. His actions over the next few months will determine if there is any change in what he thinks is important in life. If he embraces a new set of values it will indicate he is thinking differently.

When asked about his wife's interview with People Magazine he said, "I wish her the best." I wish Tiger the best and the best can only be realized if he changes his ways.