Advice on How To Respond To Pick-up Lines

What to Say in Response to Pickup Lines & Advice on Whether to Give Him a Second Chance -- Or Not!

Advice Seeker :

Dear April Masini,"

What is the best way to respond to bad pickup lines? I never know what to say, much less what to think, when a guy uses one of them on me. I need some dating advice fast, so I don't keep getting stuck in awkward, uncomfortable situations.

Signed, Victim of Bad Pick-p Lines

"

April Masini's Advice :

Dear Victim of Bad Pickup Lines,

If a man approaches you, and he looks great, but as soon as he opens his mouth, out comes a pickup line that would make a deaf person run screaming, you have three choices:

Give him a second chance because he's probably nervous and hopefully he doesn't always talk like a walking cliche.

Smile and tell him you're really busy right at the moment. Then turn and walk away.

Tell him he needs to run (not walk) to the closest bookstore and buy a copy of Date Out Of Your League (Wink!).

However, if you get one of the following pick up lines and aren't quite sure how to respond, ladies, here's my advice.

His Line: "Is it really that cold in here or are you smuggling tic tacs?"

Since this pickup line relates to his noticing (or imagining) your pronounced nipples, you have every right to walk away immediately. He's crossed a line. Men shouldn't comment on your private parts, especially when they are not involved in intimate relationship with you. You can also assume that sex is what's on this guy's mind (I know, I know -- what guy doesn't have it on his mind? But the guy you want shows a little restraint and a modicum of manners).

Some zingers to fling him are:

"Do I know you?" or "I'm sorry, I thought you just said, 'Is it really that cold in here or are you smuggling tic tacs -- and I know that no man would ever approach me like that." Of course, these will send him on a U turn, away from you.

If you want to diffuse his pick up line, a "What?" will do it. His having to repeat it to you because you didn't hear it or didn't understand it, may discourage him from uttering those words a second time. If you're lucky, he'll abandon the line on the spot and go for something else -- that's hopefully better!

His Line: "Hey, I'm new in town. Think I can get directions to your house?"

This guy apparently never heard of stalkers, rapists or murderers. Or else he did, and he's one of them! Or else he's just insensitive. Or else he thinks he's actually funny. Or he's desperate for a way to connect with you. Regardless, he needs to be set in the right direction and if you haven't flung your drink at him...

Tell him one of the following:

No.

Are you crazy?

No, but I can direct you to the nearest police station.

I bet you're trying to pick me up -- why don't you give it another try?

Too bad a guy with such a bad line is so cute.

His Line: "Damn girl, I ain't seen than many curves since I quit watching NASCAR!"

This pick up line is way more benign than the last two. The reason is, he's commenting on your body without specifying your body parts like the tic-tac nipple guy in example one. However, he's making a comment rather than asking a question to engage you.

Your possible responses:

Thank you.

What's Nascar?

It's been a while since I met someone who used the word, 'ain't'.

Your curves aren't so bad, either.

His Line: "Do you work for UPS? Because I'd sign for that package."

Again, this guy is commenting on your private parts. This is really crossing a line and coming on way too strong and way too fast. It broadcasts that he's interested in sex, first and foremost. Don't expect more than a one night stand with this guy.

Your possible responses are:

Are you always this forward with women you don't know?

As a matter of fact, I do work for UPS.

This package has already been signed for. Sorry.

This is special delivery and handle with care. I'm not sure you're qualified to sign for it.

His Line: "You must be tired from running through my mind all day."

Okay. Aside from the fact that this is a pretty trite and tired line --meaning this guy is either not creative at all, or he doesn't get out enough to know that this line is really old -- or the horror of horrors, he's actually had some success with this line and is just recycling his best pickups. However, the nice thing about this line is that it can't be construed as a line out of a sexual harassment handbook. In addition, trite lines aren't the worst thing in the world.

Here are some responses you can use:

Oh -- I have schizophrenia, too. Do you hear voices as well? (This will send him running.)

As a matter of fact, I am tired -- and you'll have to excuse me. It's nap time for me.

Do you know me?

That's a total coincidence -- because you've been running through my mind all day, too!