A concise guide to the world of cinema, tv, and games through the eyes of a sociopath

TerrorVision (1986)

Plot: Stanley Putterman (Gerrit Graham) wants to give his family the best in television programs, so he buys a start of the art satellite dish. After countless problems and a family yelling at him to fix the television signal, Stanley takes desperate action and smacks it with his hammer. When he does, a strange beam shines down onto the dish and voila, the television reception is better than ever. The signal proves to be stronger than anyone could imagine, as it has transported an alien presence to Earth. When a slimy, blob like monster comes out of the television and starts killing people around the house, young Sherman (Chad Allen) is the only one aware of the situation. No one will believe him though, especially since his parents are just trying to swing with another couple. Will Sherman be able to save his family and the world, or will television prove to be mankind’s road to ruin?

Entertainment Value: If Lisa Frank made a horror movie, it would probably have the look and feel of TerrorVision. A colorful, over the top picture that refuses to be normal even for a single scene. The story is fun and the writing gives the cast plenty of room to be odd and off the wall. They do just that, with larger than life turns that might not be believable, but they’re a whole lot of fun. We have the partner swapping parents, 80s drenched older sister, her punk rock boyfriend, and of course, the old grandfather trying to convince everyone to eat the tails of lizards. The production design mirrors the wacky 80s vibe of the script, with bright and garish colors, creative decor, and a house that simply has to be seen to be believed. You won’t mistake TerrorVision for a Hollywood production, but they achieved a lot with the resources involved. This is just a goofy, over the top 80s horror movie that hits all the right notes and is wildly entertaining.

Aside from erotic artwork and a quick glimpse of cable porn, TerrorVision offers up no nakedness. But you do get to see Medusa’s breasts pushed up to insane levels in her bustier. The gore in this movie isn’t blood based, instead it relies on green goop and clear slime. The effects are still a lot of fun and quite messy, as such when grandpa’s face is sucked in into itself. You also see a lot of faces covered in the clear slime that makes it look like everyone just left a bukkake. The kill scenes are more gross than scary, but that fits with the tone of TerrorVision, so no worries there. I love the dialogue in this movie too, with all the 80s lingo you could want and a host of memorable lines, just off the wall stuff you’ll quote to your friends. I think the Greek swinger has some of my favorite lines, he is just classic. TerrorVision is over the top (I overused that word, I know) and unique, but not quite as batshit crazy as it could have been. Even so, it is a very fun movie with that special 80s style and offers plenty of weirdness.