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Through an anonymous tip, I am happy to provide–for your delectation–the 2010-2011 tap classes of two of Yale’s first-string societies: Wolf’s Head and Scroll and Key.

Although we can’t vouch for 100% accuracy, we’ll put our editorial weight behind these lists based on source credibility.

This sort of sucks: especially since it’s not ADPhi. In all seriousness, the besieged frats at Cornell, for all their foibles, have been on the receiving end of a disproportionate amount of administration crackdown, especially since — as a frat tipster notes — “on occasion, we do good things.” Ithaca is cold and gloomy; frats are warm and, at their best, booze and camaraderie filled. So, a few months back we brought you the twisted tale of Pi Kappa Alpha at Cornell, whose rush-week boozefests left three freshmen hospitalized and the campus in uproar.

When they do crazy things, we here at Ivy Gate write about them; but when they get shut down, we take no joy in Cornell’s loss. Next, Cornell’s ADPhi bros bit the bullet on account of our leaked hazing regimen.

Good use of hook-words: “love,” “prestigious universities,” “mysterious.” Yet, if she’s going to exploit a tragedy on time, we suggest she arrange a rendezvous with Mavis Beacon and learn to type a lil’ bit faster. After hard-hitting investigative journalism like “American Negro Gets Bored,” “Senior Hook Up Bingo,” Modern Love criticism, pornography, hipster-hating, lies, and half-naked pictures of its sultry, YD”P. Then again, their middling few are supes cool Yaliens, so it would be close.) The final page of and Ivy Gate are practically twins separated at birth.

We also make typos, self-promote, slip into snark, and fuck up.

No less than three of the pledges have been overheard lamenting. The electro-flower-children have long supported feminist causes since their time at Wesleyan, and were not willing to be introduced with lyrics including, but not limited to: “Beat that p-ssy up,” “wanna control these hoes …can’t control these hoes (no, no, no),” “I hate hoes, I hate hoes, I hate hoes,” “Forreal b-tch, don’t take the sh-t wrong / Thinking I’m nice I’ll break you jawbone,” and of course, “I can’t stand b-tches and hoes / ’cause a b-tch is a b-tch and a hoe gonna hoe.” Contacted by Ivy Gate, the band’s manager Andrea Neustein commented, on-sale April 13–the band is under pressure to accept gigs that will reflect well upon their characters and beliefs.

In the wake of our recent announcement of embattled Pike’s closure, we now have exclusive news from a source close to the situation that the Alpha-Kappa chapter of Kappa Sigma (that’s more of a mouthful than dogfood and tabasco! According to our tipster, The national organization has decided to revoke the chapter’s charter after hospitalization incidents during rush week, inappropriate pictures surfaced on Facebook, and a rogue fog machine set of a fire alarm at a pledge party.while the Alpha Delta Phi allegations were first publically disclosed by Ivygate, they were simultaneously reported to the OFSA through hazing.The Ivygate stories were not the basis of the investigation nor were they consulted as part of it.Read more: absconding to the maldives, adam clark estes, Alex Klein, blog-warz, chloe gordon, dan d'addario, dubious designations, investigative journalism, Ivy Gate, leaks, lolz, miranda lewis, pundits, responding to criticism, responding to lolz, Rumpus, Secret Societies, self-deprecation, self-promotion, we now have a full copy of the rumpus and are going to reprint it, yale rumpus!OBVI we’re only reporting this def-insignificant news because of our wicked personal vendettaz and insecuritiez.

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These Yalies do: It’s been a busy month for our favorite “literary fraternity” ADPhi. Well, a week or so ago the Cornell administration got involved, and the news is dire: Reports out of Cornell tell us that ADPhi has been placed on complete social probation.

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