DUmmie FUnnies

A FUnnie look at the loony residents of the Democratic Underground aka DUmmies in particular and the Leftwing Blogosphere in general.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

"Occupy Yourself Movement on Oct 28th 2011"

THE DAY WHEN EVERYTHING FINALLY CHANGED! The DUmmies have had a number of these over the years. Somehow, though, whatever that day is, it comes and goes, and everything seems not to have changed all that much.

This time, however--THIS TIME--it will be different! This truly will be THE Day! Tomorrow, in fact! We will bring those corporate muthaf***as TO THEIR KNEES! They will BEG us for mercy! And will we give them any? NOOO! We will BURY you, you capitalist corporatist pigs!!

How, you ask? Simple. By not doing anything. But, you say, most DUmmies ALREADY do nothing. And you would be correct. However, this time, this Friday, we will do a LOT of nothing, more nothing than ever before. And that will show them, those dirty rotten corporations!

It's a movement! And if it's a movement, you KNOW it's important! As we see here in this THREAD, "Occupy Yourself Movement on Oct 28th 2011."

So let us now occupy ourselves with the DUmmies, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, wondering if Wee Willie Pitt will be occupying himself by visiting his pal Scott "the Inspector" Ritter in prison, is in the [brackets]:

#Occupy Yourself Movement on Oct 28th 2011

[Why, that's tomorrow! Pray, tell us more . . .]

The Occupy movements around the country and the world are garnering overwhelming support from the general populace.

[99% of 1% of the general populace support it! W00t!]

While not everyone has the means to physically participate . . .

[Translation: While most of you progs are too lazy to get off your butts and get out there and stand with the protesters . . .]

there is much we can do on a collective level to help bring our point home to global corporate interests.

[And that "point" is. . . ? I'm not sure you have a point, actually, other than you don't like that some people make more money than you do and you don't like to pay for things.]

In this spirit, many of us seek non-violent ways of demonstrating our repulsion at the vast control these corporations have garnered while infringing on our civil rights as they wage their global destruction on all that is true and fair.

[ALL THAT IS TRUE AND FAIR! They're waging DESTRUCTION on it! GLOBAL destruction! Oh God! Oh Gaia! I WEEP as they DESTROY all that is true and fair! Somebody stop them!! . . . Wait! WE are the ones we have been waiting for! WE can stop them! Yes! For All That Is True and Fair!!!]

It is one thing to stand in a man’s front yard to demonstrate your dislike for his conduct . . .

[Or, like when you're smashed from drinking too much, you know, and you just gotta take a pee somewhere, so you go, like, stand in some random guy's front yard . . .]

but another thing altogether to refuse to participate in the system from which he gains his resources for power.

[DO NOTHING TO POWER!]

In this light, we have choosen a date for the following activities (or non-activity, as it were):

[DUNAC! DUNAC!]

1) A 24 hour television blackout where all participants willfully keep their tubes turned off.

[Tie your tubes! Just say no to those MSNBC corporate stooges like Sergeant Schultz, Lawrence of Insania, and Rachel Mancow!]

2) A 24 hour retail boycott . . .

[24 non-business hours.]

where all participants agree to refrain from buying any merchandise . . .

[Not One D*mn DUmmie Day!]

. . . not directly associated with basic needs, such as food and medicine.

When the Moonbats go wildWith the sh*t that they've piled,That's a DUmmie.When they've plain lost their headsLike they've gone off their meds,That's a DUmmie.

Hopes will fly,Soaring to the sky, rising way up highLike a giant sequoia.Hands will wring--What a ding-a-ling, what a ding-a-ling--And you'll think, "Paranoia."

When the "F" words flow freeJust like on MTV,That's a DUmmie.When they march in the streetWithout leaving their seat,You're in luck:

Those aren't Rovian plants,They're just Ants in their rants,And they're FUnnie!For a laugh and a halfReading each paragraph--That's a DUmmie!

[Now back to the list of things to do on Friday instead of doing things . . .]

DanceCreate

[Maybe form a drum circle with yourself. Become a DRUmmie.]

Frolic in natureLove

[benburch loves to frolic au naturel.]

On Oct 28th 2011Step out of the system and get back to yourselfSpread the word!SHUT IT ALL DOWN!

[SHUT IT DOWN! SHUT IT DOWN! SHUT. . . .]

[OK, so it seems that many of DUmmies {cough *Pitt*} have not been able, for some reason or other, to get out there and stand shoulder-to-shoulder with their sisters and brothers in the trenches, in the front lines. But surely THIS, this they CAN do, and with ease! And it will bring the corporations TO THEIR KNEES! So simple. It requires, literally, doing nothing. So simple, yet so devastating to those greedy b*st*rds! So I'm sure ALL the not-at-Wall-Street DUmmies, every man jack of them, will at least be willing to occupy THEMSELVES! And it's only for one day! Let's see now the rush to participate . . .]

But it's my birthday!!!

[Such commitment to the Cause!!!]

ME TOO!

[Can I see your birth certificate?]

It's my m-i-l's 85th birthday that day

[Say, you know, I think I have a cousin in Toledo celebrating his fifth month of sobriety that day. So I'd say that's a legitimate excuse for my not participating.]

I am going to bet right now that this will fall flat on its face.

[Well, sure. The old lady's going to be 85, for goodness' sakes! How many of her friends can be left? And what are you going to do for party games? Spin the pill bottle? Wheelchair races? Of course it's going to fall flat!]

People have jobs and no time. They aren't going to give the boss an excuse to fire them.

[No! Tell your capitalist boss to take that job and shove it! That'll bring him to his knees!]

They need to shop when they have a minute, and baby's diapers, Grampa's heart medicine, and those darn groceries are not going to magically appear if there's something you need to go buy on one lousy day.

[OK, so you stock up a little extra the day before or the day after. But on the 28th, when we DON'T shop, THAT will make the difference! It will break the backs of those evil corporations! Think of benburch going without his favorite diaper for a day! Diaper corporations will literally be soiling themselves as they tremble in fear!]

If there are any sports events on TV (e.g. the Canadiens are playing the Bruins that night), fuggedaboutit. People like their sports, they don't want to do yoga all the live-long day.

[Not me, brother! I PROMISE, if the Cardinals lose Game 6 tonight, I will NOT watch Game 7 tomorrow!]

The Bill Maher fans won't want to miss REAL TIME.

[All five of them.]

a meaningless display of faux righteousness that in the end means nothing. Are you seriously telling me that buying Granny's medications on the 29th instead of the 28th will make a real difference? . . . It's a stupid idea, to put it bluntly. It won't make a difference, because everyone will lie and say they did it, but in reality they'll just go about their business as they always do.

[DUmmie MADem, for that Brief Moment of Mental Clarity®, we will send you a Kewpie Doll! Just not tomorrow.]

Bank Run and General Strike, thanks, but no thanks. Like that's gonna happen.

[Another doubter! What is WRONG with you people!]

Occupy yourself? Doesn't that make you blind?

[There are none so blind as those who will not occupy themselves.]

I will participate in another national strike. Fully aware that's just me.

[But "me" is none other than . . . NADIN BRZEZINSKI!! Yes, Know-it-all Nadin is getting behind this movement! This will be the tipping point!]

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Lech Walesa to visit OWS! A Freudenschade moment

"LECH WALESA IS COMING TO NEW YORK CITY! HE'S COMING TO ZUCCOTTI PARK IN SUPPORT OF OWS!!" "OWS?" "YES, OWS!" "OMG! OMG!!" Such was the breathless, orgasmic reaction among the DUmmies when word got out that the Hero of the Polish Workers, Lech Walesa--Mr. Solidarity himself!--was coming to America to STAND WITH THE OWSIES!! WOO-HOO!!!! WHEEEEEE!!!!!! FREUDENSCHADE, BABY!!!!!!!!!

Witness the joy in these threads, i.e., this THREAD, "K Olbermann: Lech Walesa to visit New York in support of OWS," and this THREAD, "Lech (Solidarity)Walesa, former Polish president, to visit New York in support of Occupy Wall Street," and this THREAD, "ATTENTION Corp News shills & OWS Haters..A Leader Arrives. Dare You to Cover His Speech."

But one thing we've learned about DUmmie Freudenschade--well, I'll leave that for later in this DUFU, and that's all I'll say about that now.

So for now, let us travel to an exultant DUmmieland, where the news of Mr. Solidarity's OWS visit is greeted with rapturous joy, in Solidarity Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, looking forward to some Redbird Red joy here in St. Louis when the Cardinals win the World Series, is in the [brackets]:

Lech Walesa Not Attending #OccupyWallStreet in New York After Discovering Hard-Left Organizers

[Oopsie! Guess you're plain out of Lech!]

He's a pro-capitalist buddy of Thatcher and Reagan. He endorsed Repubs in the US as recently as last year and is anti-choice, among a thousand other things that should give pause to anyone at this site.

[Well, we didn't really want him here in the first place.]

His announcement of support garnered 500+ recommendations on this site, which I found sort of hilarious and sort of horrifying. . . .

[It must have been those LOUSY FREEPER TROLLS!!!]

Of course he is anti-left. He always has been.

[We NEVER liked him!]

I thought about adding a dissenting voice to that thread but quickly realized that the Walesa myth was too entrenched for the truth.

[Too entrenched! I could see it would be no use, so that's why I didn't say anything AT THE TIME. . . .]

Given Walesa fondness and respect for Reagan, I've little doubt he'd find many of the discussions and actions too far to the left. Walesa is quite conservative. . . .

[From HERO to ZERO in a few short days!]

Yeah, solidarity and all that, but Lech is a big vodka bottle full of stupid. The lumbering idiot didn't even care that Reagan told unions to f*** off. He's a big, pukey-faced homophobe. He can eat my @ss.

[Blech on Lech!]

As a fellow countryman, I hold that old skin-bag of dumb to a higher standard. He'll get no pierogi's of praise from THIS Polish-American, I can f***ing tell you that much.

[No DUmplings for you, Lech!]

that polish particle of pooped-out potato pancake. . . .

[Pied Piper Pitt would approve!]

Way to throw Lech under the bus. A week ago this guy was the greatest thing since sliced bread.

[The DUmmies are BiPoler.]

Mr. Welesa is a bigot, a right wing dimsh*t, a hypocrite and a pain in my polka today.

He's a horrible human being. The 500 recs for him last week was terrifying.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

OWS Sympathizer Inadvertently Reveals Protest Idiocy

This VIDEO was posted just hours ago by an Occupy Wall Street protester/sympathizer with the highly appropriate YouTube screen name of "f*ckedupchuck." It deserves to go VIRAL because upchuck inadvertently reveals the idiocy of the OWS protesters, including himself. One hilarious thing is that upchuck screams "FU CAPITALISM!" but then acts like it is perfectly okay when someone at Zuccotti park offers to sell him a pin for 10 bucks. Also note the T-shirt vendors at the park. It is fairly safe to drink coffee while viewing this video UNTIL the 3:30 mark when upchuck lets go of his inner fruitcake. Trust me. If you have coffee in your mouth at that point, it will all end up on your computer screen.

BTW, does anybody know how much those fancy sunglasses of upchuck costs and which CAPITALIST company makes them?

Friday, October 21, 2011

Get rid of money, OWSies, go to a hugs-and-kisses economy!

Today we return to the OccupyWallStreet Forum. And, just like yesterday, somebody has some much needed advice for the OWsies. In this THREAD, "All of you are missing the point," a poster named turak tells the OWSies to forget money--get rid of money!--and instead go to an economy based on LOVE! Hugs and kisses, rather than dollars and cents, will be the coin of the realm in this NEW economy! Utopia, here we come! And you can bet you will see turak exemplify this sweet and loving attitude himself in the back-and-forth comments that follow his post.

So let us now hold hands and go skipping together into this new money-free, hugs-and-kisses world, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, stocking up on hand sanitizer, is in the [brackets]:

All of you are missing the point...

[Enlighten us, turak. What is the point?]

All of you are haggling about money. Get rid of it.

[Whoa! Radical, dude!]

Instead of a money economy: based upon corruption, opposition, selfishness and greed: create your own self-sufficient communities and economies based upon cooperation, trust and fun.

Let the 1% have all the money in the world: then do not deal with them and don't buy anything they try to sell you and don't use their money. Get rid of money.

[OK, so just let the bank have our house and we can all move out on the street and go to Zucchini Park and establish the Republic of Candyland and live on hugs and kisses! Great!]

[Well, THANK you, turak, for that inspiring vision of our brave new world! Hugs and kisses to you in abundance! You have truly shown us the way. Now let's get the reactions of the OWSies, interspersed with your kind and loving comments back (marked "turak:")]

i'm sure if we switched over to a "hugs & kisses" based economy, we would see a rise in std's... there's always a catch people.

turak: the catch is in your mind: the catch is you are disconnected from everything except resignation, passivity, specatorship, paranoia, terror, fear of the unknown, voyeurism, staring at 2-dimensional screens for the rest of your existence: the catch is in your automatic programmed negative response to anything that is positive. The catch is in your giving up before you even try. The catch is in your pointless comments, the catch is in idiots who surf the web for distraction and do nothing else, the catch is in you: in how you have been brainwashed into what you are now.

turak: The answer to your problems lies in creating your own community and spitting on their money. This way you become a better human being, and this way you can RIGHTFULLY sneer and spit on all of the rich @$$holes who are greedy little sh*ts.

[turak SPITS on those sh*ts!]

You are but a tool of evolutionary reform.

turak: You are a f***ing robot, a tool: a dead soul. I am a living soul out to kill every dead soul I can find.

[Hugs and kisses, signed, turak]

maybe you would like to look at this?

turak: No: only insane sick freaks like you could even imagine such a thing. Try to imagine something that isn't insane: I bet you can't. . . . your post is total and I mean TOTAL garbled GARBAGE and misinformation.

[turak is a graduate of the Dale Carnegie School of How to Win Friends and Influence People.]

NUMBER 1 RULE OF THE WORLD: Anything advertised as "FUN" is a terrible nightmarish hell of an idea. . . .NUMBER 2 RULE OF THE WORLD: Anytime a friend says, "No man, it will be fun" YOU ARE HEADING DOWN THE WRONG PATH! . . .NUMBER 3 RULE OF THE WORLD: Whenever a crazy person that is part of a protest and offers a new system to run the world and describes it as fun....Run....Just run.....

turak: where do these nuts come from?

[turak SPITS on the Rules of the World!]

that is communism in it's purest form. so...It will only work in theory

turak: wrong: now f*** off: you are a boring twit

[Love, love, love . . .]

I guess it is best to focus on only limited numbers of specific goals, turak.

turak: You haven't read my original post: it answers and solves all of your problems without all of you sleeping on the street like homeless bums expecting handouts from the greediest richest most selfish and most financially powerful @$$holes in the world. . . . I tell you the most practical way to solve all your problems and you turn a deaf ear to the only logical solution there is. Your cacophony of selfish special interests all demanding to be heard is phony kaka.

[Listen to turak! It is the only way! You STUPID, DUMB, IDIOT!!!]

Why are you so hostile to me or other people who you are talking with? If you want to establish a world where people value love, you should show your love and care for others.

turak: I am not hostile to people who are positive and support the desire for a better world. You have many problems! You can't even digest written material properly! You have not even attempted to understand what I tell you. . . . You don't WANT to know the truth. The truth is often very ugly and very harsh... deal with it! Face it. Since you don't face the harsh realities of this world: you are not able to hold an intelligent conversation. . . . You want love and respect from strangers over the internet? Go to your mommy for that: not here.

[Mommy!! The hugs-and-kisses man is scaring me!!]

turak: You try to treat everyone as if they are intelligent educated decent people? 99% of them spit in your face and laugh at you because they are NOT intelligent and they are NOT educated and they are NOT mature.

[turak SPITS in your face because you are not mature like he is!]

turak: This is why in founding your own self-sufficient community you must be VERY picky and weed out anyone who will not fit into your community.

[It could easily be accomplished with a computer. And a computer could be set and programmed to accept factors from youth, health, sexual fertility, intelligence, and a cross section of necessary skills.]

turak: I show love and care for people who DESERVE to be cared for and loved. The idea that everyone deserves to be loved and respected is total bullsh*t. . . . I don't respect you BECAUSE YOU DO NOT RESPECT ME do you understand that? I tell you logical common sense solutions that will work and you IGNORE WHAT I TELL YOU. You want my respect? then respect what I say to you and listen to what I say and THINK BEFORE you open your immature little trap.

[Listen to turak or you will be weeded out!]

turak: I am not trying to establish a world where EVERYBODY values love because that is totally impossible, stupid and immature. Most people in this world do not even know what love IS and they don't WANT to know. . . . YOU choose to ignore everything I tell you. Well guess what: I choose to ignore everything YOU tell ME also. That is how f***ing dysfunctional you are.

[Listen to turak, Secretary of the Love Treasury in the Republic of Candyland! Hugs and kisses!]

And now let's close by joining hands and singing the latest from yours truly, the wag tailoring the doggerel . . .

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Animated Robo Video Perfectly Explains OWS Idiocy

This animated robo VIDEO perfectly explains the moronic mindset of the OWS protestors. It was posted less than two hours ago but I predict it will go viral since it is not only informative but absolutely HILARIOUS. Please be warned that the language is very strong. Again, please set your coffee mug down while viewing or risk drenching your computer monitor.

BTW, I will soon be doing regular DUFUs again since I discovered an OWS forum. Comedy GOLD there!

Well, soon after posting our DUFU, we found out the identity of the one we called "Shaggy." He is, in fact, a young man by the name of . . . get this . . . Edward Twitchell Hall III. Now if you think that sounds like a name of privilege, you would be right. Indeed, Edward Twitchell Hall III is our nominee for Upper-Class Twit of the Year!

"Ted," you see, is a trust-fund baby from a wealthy family, a 25-year-old "poet" who has bounced around from expensive college to expensive college. And now Trust Fund Ted is taking an extended fall break in New York, camping out and feeling important and getting his mug on TV and picking up swooning hippie chicks. Millionaire Ted has become the "face" and the "voice"--the "sustainable star," if you will--of the OWSies. He's got to be having a blast!

But has Zuccotti Park become just another Woodstock, a place for petting, partying, and pot? (But still no Pitt, btw.) Can the OWSies get serious? Have they lost sight of their goals?

The OWSies get some much needed advice along these lines, as today we travel not to DUmmieland but to the OccupyWallStreet Forum itself. We'll drop in on this THREAD, "Please Please Get Your Sh*t Together ... Stop the Party.. Make the movement look serious."

So let us now go to occupywallst.org, aka occupywallet.commie, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson--giving Trust Fund Ted credit for at least getting OUT THERE, which is more than I can say for OccuPied Piper Pitt (but then, Wee Willie is about to turn 40)--is in the [brackets]:

Please Please Get Your Sh*t Together ... Stop the Party.. Make the movement look serious

[OWSie HorasHughes is SERIES!]

I completely agree with the protest. But really what is your cause ??

[Well, we're working on that. I would say, for starters, it gets us out of sitting in boring old classes. And there are TONS of hot chicks camping out here! Some good weed going around, too. It's all good.]

What is your message ?

[We're working on that. too. The main thing is, we don't like it that some people have more money than us. And we don't want to have to pay for stuff. And I SURE don't want to get stuck with a bunch of f***ing student loans! Yeah, let's make that one of our demands! Make some rich f***s pay for our tuition!]

Who is taking charge ?

[Trust Fund Ted. Just ask him.]

It is sad because all I see on TV and on the live feeds looks like a dirty hippie lot scene from Phish or the Dead !!!!

[Deadhead Ted is the phace of the OWSies.]

No drum circles no jam sessions GET YOUR SH*T TOGETHER !!!!

[Drum octagons would look more impressive.]

I wanna come down there not to protest but to smack the sh*t out of you people and tell you to act like adults!!!!

[Like me!!!!]

This "movement" is not going to be taken seriously and will slowly loose steam if things don't change.

[You'll look like a bunch of LOOSERS!]

There is ZERO media coverage ..not because "the corporations own the media dude" it because the media can't penetrate the fog of pot smoke and patchouli oil.

[They can't make a grass route movement.]

Trust me my friends. . . .

["Trust me my funds" --Millionare Ted]

and I realized this last night while we were hitting the bong !!!

[The Big Bong Theory.]

I am not a hater in any way but really right now you guys look like a f***ing joke !!!!

[We at DUmmie FUnnies are deeply grateful! Hee! Hee!]

You need to present a mature professional image to the media! And maybe just maybe you need a little violence... A little blood in the water might do some good!! May God Be with you all !!!!

[May God Be with you all in your mature, professional Daze of Rage !!!!]

[Other OWSies now respond . . .]

Time to unify in a common direction. Find leaders to go to Washington and write legislation.

[TRUST FUND TED 2012: Send Hall to the Hill! To the Halls of Congress--and beyond!]

Make it real, and they will feel

[Make it Hall, and they will fall!]

and with all due respect, if you absolutely must fly banners that look like the national flags of candyland and wherever it is that teletubbies live, at least throw in one regular American flag.

[No way! In fact, let's RUN UP that flag of Candyland, PROUDLY, and declare Zuccotti Park our new homeland, a place of peace and candy and lots of free stuff! OccupyCandyland! OccupyCandyland!]

Start the war against Injustice by starting our own banks to double the income of the Bottom 90% of Workers, for many more people will come to your side when you are proactive (for “new” Business & Government solutions), instead of reactive (against “old” Business & Government solutions), which is why what we most immediately need is a comprehensive “new” strategy that implements all our various socioeconomic demands at the same time, regardless of party, and although I'm all in favor of taking down today's ineffective and inefficient Top 1% Management System of Business & Government, there's only one way to do it – by fighting bankers as bankers ourselves, and thus doubling our income from Bank Profits which are 40% of all Corporate Profits; that is, using a Focused Direct Democracy organized according to our current Occupations & Generations. Consequently, I have posted a 1-page Summary of the Strategically Weighted Policies, Organizational Operating Structures, and Tactical Investment Procedures necessary to do this at. . . .

[zzzzzzzzzz........]

i am a marijuana grower in california but i dont want to see so many party people and hear so many idiot voices ...we are all getting educated here SOME MORE THAN OTHERS get serious this is about saving lives and saving the planet.....

[This is about saving leaves and saving the plant.]

But we are a bunch of maggot infested, shampoo resistant spoiled children? Why can't I just play my drums and ask for free money? I don't wanna grow up!!!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Howard Stern Exposes Occupy Wall Street Morons

Absolutely HILARIOUS!!! This AUDIO from the Howard Stern show of interviews with the OWS protesters exposes them for what they are...completely CLUELESS. Please be aware that there is some strong language. Also put your coffee mug down before listening or risk drenching your computer monitor when you burst out laughing.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Times Square OWS Drama Queens Screech 'Police Violence'

The way the OWS protester Drama Queens carried on in this VIDEO, you would have thought the Czar had sent out mounted Cossacks to cut them down with swinging swords. However, when you actually watch the video what really happens is...NOTHING! Well, from the police nothing much happened. From the OWS Drama Queens you hear a lot of outraged screeching about "THE NYPD IS USING HORSES ON PEOPLE!!!" What? Did the NYPD gallop into that mangy crowd in Times Square? Nope. They committed the "outrage" of (GASP!) pointing their horses at the unruly crowd. Oh, the HORROR!

The closest we come to violence on this video is the shaky camerawork. Oh, and a HORSEY stepped on my foot!!!

It is pretty obvious that what REALLY outraged these OWS Drama Queens is that there was NO police violence in Times Square. How frustrating that must be to their agenda of portraying themselves as victims.

Finally I must report that WILLIAM RIVERS PITT was nowhere near Times Square nor any other OWS protest. Despite urging on his fellow DUmmies about the extreme importance of attending these OWS protests, the Pittster has yet to even attend just ONE such event. Meanwhile he continues to schlep around on his couch watching sports on the Tube as you can see in his latest Facebook POST.

Just re-watched the last 2:30 of the Dallas game on TiVo. Two words: Tom. Brady. Just filthy filthy filthy good. I am unutterably fortunate to have the chance to enjoy that guy's excellence.

Enjoy your comfy couch, Pitt, as you urge the others on to REVOLUTION.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Occupy Portland Protesters Sing Their Anthem

Since the Democrats including Nancy Pelosi and Barack Obama are now publicly embracing the OWS protests that means they must also endorse this "anthem" sung by the Occupy Portland protesters in this VIDEO. It is called "F*ck the USA." DUmmies will love it but 99% of Americans won't.

Friday, October 14, 2011

This may be the most moving, impassioned plea I have seen in quite a while. I mean this VIDEO, "Flea Bagger Wall Street Protester Laments and Gnashes Teeth! LMAO!!" Here's a transcript:

Shaggy: Help us now! Help us now! Help us, they don't want to do this! F*** these people up there! F*** these @$$holes in their f***ing yachts! They aren't in there, and they aren't in our country! They are not American! Get them the f*** out of here! Get them the f*** out of here! This is ours! This is Liberty Plaza!

Shaggy: We are strong! We are strong! Do you see how strong we are? This should've gotten so worse. But we are taking it farther. We are taking it farther, like the future cars we're gonna have, more mileage and more sustainable stars than on the flag. We are gonna make our forefathers feel like they are our dads, and not sad and rolling in the grave, because we are going to save our country! Save our country! Save our country! Come with us!

(Come with us!)

Shaggy: Do you feel this? Because we feel you! We are making history.

Velma: Come, join us now! We need your help! This is not the way America is supposed to be!

Shaggy and Velma, we hear your cry for help! And so, I'm sure, do the DUmmies! DUAC! DUAC! Help is on the way! Your sisters and brothers in DUmmieland are STREAMING to Wall Street, even as we speak, to STAND WITH YOU as you make history, for you are truly SPEAKING TRUTH TO POWER! F*** YEAH!

We will sample from here and there in DUmmieland to see the throngs of 99%ers heading now, RUSHING, to STAND WITH SHAGGY AND VELMA! No DUmmie left behind, I'm sure!

Come join us now as we witness this MASS MOVEMENT, IN ACTION, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, unable to recall a more moving, impassioned plea than that of Shaggy and Velma, is in the [brackets]:

[How can you SAY that? Who in their left mind would NOT be RUSHING toward New York RIGHT NOW? They NEED you!]

Find a message you like online and print it out. Or grab a marker and write your own message on a piece of paper. Put it in your window. Or on the dashboard of your car.

[A piece of paper on your dashboard. I can't believe it. THIS is what DUmmieland has come to??]

We don't have to be "there" to make our voices heard. We really can stand shoulder-to-shoulder in a spirit of solidarity, no matter where we are.

["Help us now! Help us now!" Can't you HEAR the cry of Shaggy? "Come, join us now! We need your help!" They NEED you! Velma needs you! Oh, how can you let them down, O ye of little zeal? You think printing off THIS is the same as standing shoulder-to-shoulder?]

[Alright, NOW we will see the DUmmies moving en masse to New York to stand in SOLIDARITY with their sisters and brothers, shoulder-to-shoulder, locking arms and shouting, in defiance, "WE SHALL NOT BE MOVED!"]

Stay safe, stay focused, stay put. Stand your ground!

[Yes! Righteous! Stand your ground before The Man! All of us, there, together, locking arms, an immovable wall on Wall Street! WE SHALL NOT BE MOVED!]

Kick and rec if you can't be at an occupation tonight but you stand with the 99% nonetheless.

[Huh? What? Not again!!]

They can move people around, but they can't shut down an idea.

[You can't even move your sorry ass off the couch!]

I'd give you wiggly fingers (sparkling) in support and solidarity...but we don't have that emoticon. So I'll just have to K&R. We really do need a sparkling emoticon.

[What is WITH you people??]

Solidarity. Will be there physically, as well (although not tonight).

[Tonight I'm washing my hair.]

I hope single occupiers find each other and become new lovers.

[OK, well, that's some incentive to get there, I suppose.]

Unity!

[Unity! Laxity! Frito-Lay!]

This may be a turning point.

[A tipping point, even!]

I feel guilty typing this from the comfort of my house although I physically cannot camp out.

[Is this how the Bolsheviks toppled the czars?? I mean, COME ON!]

K&R!

[R&R!]

I've got no car to get me to an occupation. . . .

[In fact, I've got no occupation.]

I would join you if I could.

[But, I guess you're on your own, Shaggy and Velma! Lotsa luck when the jackbooted thugs knock you on the head! We'll be thinking of you!]

We are with you!

[Or, we WOULD be with you, except I heard it's gonna get pretty chilly there at night, and maybe even some rain, and then there's the issue of who's gonna take care of my cat. . . .]

Monday, October 10, 2011

DUmmies are angry that others think they're angry!

In yesterday's DUFU, we documented how full of hate and anger the DUmmies are toward anyone who has more money than they do, particularly toward those who work in the financial sector. Signs saying "JUMP! YOU F***ERS!" and images of guillotines were typical of the DUmmies' violent fantasies.

But even though the DUmmies and the OWSies are filled with such anger and hatred, don't you dare accuse them of posing a potential threat! No, the OWSies are non-violent, peaceful protesters, dontcha know. So any preparedness on the banks' part, trying to protect their employees' safety--this HAS to be a right-wing plot to paint the OWSies as violent types! Never mind that similar protests HAVE turned violent--think of the WTO riots in Seattle a few years back.

Today then we turn to this THREAD by DUmmie arcane1, "So, I work for a bank. Today they sent us this 'Protest Safety Handbook,'" and this THREAD by the OccuPied Piper himself, William Rivers Pitt, "Bank On It: They're Scared."

So let us see the DUmmies get all angry when others NOTICE that they're angry, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, happy to join PJ in a DUbble-DUFU night, is in the [brackets]:

It just goes to show how scared the cowardly banksters are and how the cops and corporatocracy will make stuff up and create a crisis to keep the people serfs.

[Hundreds of angry protesters, dressed as zombies, calling people who work in financial institutions "money-hungry fascists" who are "dead inside," entreating the "f***ers" to jump out of windows--yeah, that's all made-up stuff.]

they are getting scared as they should be...underneath our peaceful movement is a boiling rage. However, to imply that people are out there with torches and pitchforks is seriously off base.

[SERIOUSLY off-base! The OWSies are out there with GUILLOTINES and pitchforks!]

That's basic safety information for any city dweller. And they're right that you shouldn't pick fights.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Maybe you missed what happened in Britain. This is actually more or less responsible corporate behavior. It is a cheap, minimal effort to protect nervous employees. There is no reason to put propagandistic spin on it.

[But there IS a reason to put a Kewpie Doll in your mailbox, DUmmie aquart! Congratulations!]

The Banks should issue surgical masks to all employees.

[The OWSies should issue Guy Fawkes masks to all protesters.]

Violence is not unlikely. History shows it's what pissed-off people do. History (e.g. the labor movement) also suggests that TPTB don't take anger seriously until that point.

"often encouraging the unemployed and homeless to join the movement." They weren't unemployed and homeless until you f***ing shitstains destroyed the economy because of your f***ing greed and lying. Be scared, f***ers.

[No, no reason for financial companies to worry about their employees' safety. Nope, none at all.]

They forgot, "REPORT ALL SIGHTINGS OF GUILLOTINES, IMMEDIATELY!"

[Chop chop!]

Attention, all employees of banksters, rethuglians and teabaggers!! Don't forget to wear a Guy Fawkes mask if you find yourself among the OWS revolutionaries! Its MAGIC!

[What a Guy!]

Workers of the world unite!

[OWSies, meet the Wobblies!]

When you see a protest march...immediately disrobe and join the protest.

[A tip from the Ben Burch Handbook.]

I honestly don't see how they think that if they start charging more banking fees that they can stay in business and costumers will not leave them.

[Especially the costumers with Guy Fawkes masks.]

The opposition to the "OWS" movement could start to implant vandalizing trouble makers into the OWS crowds. . . .

[Beware of OWSIE FREEPER TROLLS!!!]

If you don't mind, I'm going to use this in an article.

[Which OccuPied Piper Pitt now does . . .]

Bank On It: They're Scared

[Bank it! Pretty clever there, Will! You are such a wordsmith!]

Once the "mainstream" news outlets finally deigned to lower themselves to report on the rabble down on Wall Street, their tone and tenor fairly oozed contempt. The New York Times, bastion of the status quo, published an article describing each and every participant of the OWS protest as a moonbeam-riding fuzzbrain, someone reeking of patchouli who couldn't string a coherent thought together if their life depended on it. . . .

According to Gandhi, the next step comes when they fight you, but here is the spot where his marvelous wisdom could use a bit of enhancement. First they ignore you, then they ridicule you... Then they get scared. And they are scared, now. You can smell it.

[Actually, Will, what you are smelling are the OWSies reeking of patchouli.]

Fact: OWS has bloomed in more than a dozen major cities all across the country. It stopped being a protest a while ago. It's a movement now.

[Fact: OccuPied Piper Pitt can't be moved out of his La-Z-Boy long enough to go and physically PARTICIPATE in any of these events.]

Trust Fund Pitt Wears Massive OWS Chip On Shoulder

WILLIAM RIVERS PITT, who still has NOT even bothered to attended an OWS protest himself, has gone Drama Queen Ballistic about an American Spectator writer by the name of Patrick Howley who supposedly incited a riot by leftwing loons at the Air and Space Museum. Pitt took this incident and has built it in his imagination into the greatest OUTRAGE ever perpetrated. The moment I read about Pitt's phoney outrage I pretty much had an idea of what happened...namely that the writer was caught in the middle of the loons which according to David Weigel of Slate, hardly a friend of conservatives, is exactly what happened. Here is Weigel REPORTING on what Pitt declares the greatest outrage since the Karl Rove Indictment on May 12, 2006:

I'm seeing some commentary and analysis that argues Howley egged on the protesters, somehow, by going slightly further -- by accident! -- than they did. No, I'm not buying it. Howley stumbled upon conservative media gold by covering the October 11 movement's co-opting of Occupy Wall Street/Occupy DC.

...These protesters have it in them to wreck the image of the new movement, and all Howley did was notice.

Of course, Pitt who has NOT attended any OWS event has turned this minor non-incident into a source of his supreme outrage as you can see when he put a massive chip on his shoulder in his THREAD, "I am so f*cking sick of these people." So let us now watch Pitt, with big chip on shoulder, go all Drama Queen in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering if this is the seventh or eighth thread by Pitt on the subject of the OWS protests that he can't be bothered to attend, is in the [brackets]:

I am so f*cking sick of these people.

[Who? Do you mean the Trust Fund Kids who talk a good game about the importance of the OWS protests and then don't even bother to attend?]

This last little song-and-dance by some American Spectator whore (look around if you don't know what I'm talking about; you'll find it soon enough) really proves my point.

[As opposed to a TruthOut whore who tried to perpetrate a journalistic HOAX on May 12, 2006?]

Here's the thing, DU: we spend so much time grinding gears against each other, even as we agree with each other 90% of the time.

[90% of us agree that WILLIAM RIVERS PITT is a chip-on-the-shoulder Drama Queen who still has NOT attended even one OWS protest.]

Well, here we are...at a genuine tipping point.

[Pitt reaches his tippling point every night in Bukowski's.]

As a DUer, I've been working towards this moment for more than ten years. As a person, I've been at it twice that long.

As people, many many many DUers have been working towards this moment for 30, 40, 50 years. On this board, you are surrounded on all sides by heroes, warriors and good old-fashioned American grinders. Shoulder to the wheel, amen.

[Translation: Hippies who never outgrew their youthful idiocy.]

As a good man once said: you are the one you've been waiting for. You've been here all along.

[Patrick Fitzgerald is the one who Pitt has been waiting 24 business hours for.]

I am so f*cking sick of the "news" media, of the powers-that-be, of this slow, sneaking abrogation of my basic American rights.

OWS is the first, best representation of that feeling in the pit of your stomach, the one that says, "This is wrong."

[We know Pitt is not speaking from personal experience since has still not attended a single one of these OWS protests that he is urging others to attend.]

Please: if you can show up to a protest in your town - or start one in its absence - do so. If you can bring blankets and food to an ongoing protest, do so.

[Please: Don't do as I do and lie down on a couch and watch sports on the tube when there are protests right there in your own town.]

If you know a good lawyer, let him/her know they might have a slew of new clients soon - I have a strong sense that the billyclubs are going to fly soon (this level of intemperance is tolerated only for so long in America) which means a lot of good people are going to need a good lawyer before too much more time passes.

[Know a good lawyer? You have a whole family of CORPORATE lawyers whose work resulted in a lifetime of Trust Fund payments to you.]

This is no joke.

[But it is inadvertently FUnnie!!!]

I am so f*cking sick of these people.

[Didn't you already say that 24 business hours ago?]

So are you.

Show up.

[Unlike Y0U.]

Stand.

[So much easier to lie on a couch and watch sports on the tube as you did.]

It's us or nothing at this point.

[I'm surprised Drama Queen Pitt didn't draw a line in the sand ala the Alamo. And now to the other DUmmies (and I'll award an oatmeal cookie to the one who dares ask Pitt why HE has not yet attended one of the OWS events that he's been melodramatically yapping about....)]

I've been beating my head against this wall since I was twelve.

[Confess. What else have you been beating since then?]

I honestly think this is the beginning of something historic. What sort of cooking set up do they have going downtown? Do they have grills?

[After seeing the man doing his doody on a car, perhaps you should worry where all that food will end up.]

Back before the 2008 elections, I was saying that if things were not demonstrably better 3 years into the tenure of whomever was POTUS, this lid would come off of this sucker.

[And yet you will STILL vote for Obama next year. Bank it!]

I'm sick enough of them that if this is the direction of the future -- to be ruled by venal corrupt arrogant fools in a completely privatized marketized dog-eat-dog landscape -- I would wish to develop cancer quickly. The kind of world has nothing of interest for me except to escape from it.

[Heaven's Gate awaits my highly disturbed little friend.]

I've said before, beware of charismatic charlatans racing to get out in front of this parade.

[Do I detect a not so subtle dig at Pitt?]

Let's make it unfashionable again to be hateful, stupid and ignorant.

[Then you would have to give up your DUmmieland posting privileges.]

7:30 pm here in Denver and I just got back from....delivering a few space blankets and a bunch of foot/hand warmers. It looks like a good group there. They have porta-potties and a bunch of food and water. They are set for tonight. Cops are letting them have tents. Going back down tomorrow. I'm as fed up as you are Will. Solidarity people.

[Solidarity with Will who is watching you protest from the comfort of his couch by the warm glow of the tube.]

Show up. It's We The People or...nothing at this point.

[Pitt's motto is DON'T Show up. Just talk.]

It is your destiny, be in charge of it.

[It is Pitt's destiny to lead the revolution...from his TV couch.]

Right there with you William

[You're also schlepping around on a couch?]

The protests need to continue nonstop.

[And Pitt needs to continue AVOIDING them nonstop.]

Show Up. Stand Up. Be Heard. And Never Shut Up.

[Will never Shows Up but he Never will Shut Up.]

I'm thinking we need to start up Occupy Warner Center here in the San Fernando Valley. They aren't nearly scared enough to suit me.

[Maybe they will be scared if you do a doody on a car in public.]

I'm in it until they've fallen and can't get up.

[As soon as the temperature drops below 60, you will be as much out of it as Pitt is now.]

The fight is here. The fight is now. Let it begin.

[Wake up Pitt. He just fell asleep watching the protests on the tube from his couch.]

I'm willing to start a protest, or join one... but first I need to know what the intended goal of it is. Just to get attention? To get criminal trials for the corrupt? To start re-arranging our system of oligarchy?

[The REAL goal is to re-elect Obama. Nothing more. Nothing less.]

I would propose that fundamental property relations need to be redone, so that a prick like Steve Jobs cannot accumulate an estate worth $6.5 billion and pass it along largely untouched to his heirs. I would propose therefore expropriating or confiscating obscene hoards of wealth, maybe any estate over $1 million should be subject to a higher estate tax, proceeds of said tax to fund universal single-payer healthcare.

[So you would propose confiscating Pitt's Trust Fund?]

How can I donate monetarily to provide supplies (food, blankets, etc.) for the wall street occupiers? Want to make sure the money doesn't end up in the wrong hands...

[Send your money to BBV Bev. She is just $10 away from Overthrowing Wall Streen.]

Was at Liberty Park and Washington Square on Saturday, and plan on going down each and every weekend. I am about 100 miles north of NYC, and this is a great expense of time for me. I am willing to fight for this, and as said in OP, have been waiting for this for more than 40 years.Be there, or be square!

Sunday, October 09, 2011

DUmmies warming up the guillotines!

"JUMP! YOU FINANCIERS!" the sign says. Well, not exactly. Actually, it's a different "F" word on there, one that I had to X out. Some DUmmie posted that photo to demonstrate how he felt toward the Wall Street banksters. And that sentiment is shared by many in DUmmieland, wishing eight-story jumps and guillotine shaves on those who have more money, the so-called "1%."

The DUmmies' violent fantasies come out in this THREAD, "Chicago Traders Respond to Protesters With Sign Reading 'We Are The 1%' - pic,"

So let us watch as the DUmmies hope that a bankster will jump out a window and land on a guillotine, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, is in the [brackets]:

[This was FUnnie. The OWSies keep yapping about "We are the 99%," so some workers up in the Chicago Board of Trade put signs in their windows, to tweak the protesters below, saying, "WE ARE THE 1%."]

That kind of dicketry won't be considered "funny" for long

[DUmmie arcane1 does not see the humor in "The 1%" simply AGREEING with what the OWSies have been calling them!]

Actually, it's hysterical... when there's a little negative feedback, the crusaders are suddenly indignant: "How dare they respond with such flippant defiance? Our cause is Holy! They are EVIL by our terms!" Yeah, well, doesn't anybody on this site have friends and family in the financial sector? . . . surely there's a CPA or Broker or two in the familial closet? How about a little empathy? The people in the window are working people, too, or they wouldn't be, well, working.

[DUmmie Syntheto, I know it's early, but I don't see how anyone will top you for today's Kewpie Doll! Congratulations!]

I agree with you. Unlike many DUers, I don't believe anyone with money is inherently "evil".

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

"I fault no one who worked hard to make their money." Don't you think Genghis Khan would have said that he worked hard?

[And these banksters are NEO-Khans!]

I work in the financial sector. . . . I'm a pee on worker for a small firm doing mundane back office crap.

[So you support the 1%?? Somebody OUGHT to pee on you!]

Solidarity 99!

[Superiority 1!]

someone needs to post that "Jump, You F***ers!" image.

[Someone did, and we've put it up above. So you're hoping those guys up on the eighth floor would jump out the window? Nice.]

That one never gets old, does it?

[Oh, the thought of all those banksters leaping to their death! Hilarious!]

I can't believe the police are defending these criminals. . . . You'd think police would at least be a little upset that they are being treated like imbeciles who do THEIR bidding, traders go home and drink $3,600 bottles of wine with their prostitutes, while the police go home to studio apartments. And the police defend THEM! Unbelievable.

[Not $3,500 bottles of wine, mind you, which would be bad enough. But $3,600 bottles of wine! The B*ST*RDS!]

We're going to drag them out and put them face first in manure.

[Into the DUnghill with you, you banksters!]

"We"? Are YOU going to physically drag them out, or are you one more internet chest thumping typer who is no where near the place, and won't get going there. . . ?

[I'd go with "internet chest thumping typer."]

The posts showing violent images and threats are completely inappropriate. This movement is a peaceful movement.

[Listen, DUmmie I Have A Dream, we've had QUITE ENOUGH of your "Stop the violent rhetoric" crap! "The movement is a PEACEFUL movement! The movement is a PEACFUL movement!" WAAAAHH! Aren't WE the namby-pamby little girl! Look, sometimes--sometimes--HEADS WILL HAVE TO ROLL! And yours might be next!]

I'm thinking those people who placed the "We are the 1%" sign in Chicago are office pranksters just thinking they are having a good time and believe they are bringing some levity to the situation.

Wednesday, October 05, 2011

Trust Fund Pitt Pledges to Divest All Corporate Income

Okay, I lied. WILLIAM RIVERS PITT never made any pledge to divest his Trust Fund of any income derived from corporate sources. However, like a lot of other leftwing Trust Fund Kids, Pitt continues to slam the EVIL corporations from the comfort of his computer chair. The big difference between Pitt and the protesting Trust Fund Kids is that Pitt TALKS a good tale but as to actually attending these protests...Eh! He can't be bothered. Here is the latest momentous event recorded by Pitt on his Facebook Page:

Humongous red-tailed hawk is roosting in a tree right outside my window. I've had apartments smaller than that thing. Just awesome.

Meanwhile within the space of just a week, Pitt posted a total of FOUR DUmmie threads about the importance of these anti-corporate protests and how OTHER folks (meaning not Pitt) should attend them. Take a look at Pitt's conclusion to his ironically named Onward to Wall Street:

The onus is not on these protesters. They're there, doing it. The onus is on us to pile in with them, to make the crowds and the central message unavoidable and un-ignorable. The goal of the Wall Street protest is to get the rock rolling down the hill. That's done; the rest is up to us.

It turns out that the only thing that Pitt piled in the past few days was a couch to watch sports on the tube. Meanwhile right there in Boston there was a dopey #occupy protest downtown but Pitt, after urging his readers about the importance of attending, couldn't be bothered to do the same.

However, if Pitt won't attend these anti-corporate protests, we can bring him into it whether he likes it or not. I urge folks out there, especially in the Boston area, to show up with a table and sign exactly like the one above: "Sign the William Rivers Pitt Pledge to Divest Your Trust Funds of any Income Derived from Corporate Sources." Of course, such a sign would attract a lot of attention and curiosity but don't expect any Trust Fund Kids to actually sign that pledge. Best of all would be if TV reporters interview you. Yeah, just imagine Pitt reclining in his comfy couch idly sucking down cigarettes and munching on Cheetos and suddenly he sees that sign on the news. We are talking thermonuclear mental explosion here.

Tuesday, October 04, 2011

DUmmies are occupied with occupying places

The DUmp is OCCUPIED. Yes, the DUmmies are occupied with occupying places. They don't have to be real places. Virtual places are close enough. And it doesn't matter if the places happen to belong to other people. If we feel like occupying them, we can jolly well do it, because we are the righteous 99%, and they are the evil land owners.

The #OccupyWallStreet, #OccupyBoston, #OccupyWhereverWeWantToOccupy craze has got the DUmmies in a Moonbat Movement Mood. The #HashmarkedHashishMarchers are on the move! As we see here in this THREAD, "Sign up for the Virtual March on Wall Street," and this THREAD, "The next step....Occupy the land."

So let us now occupy ourselves with DUmmieland for a few moments, in OCCUPIED Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, marveling how the DUmmies can be occupied with something even when their minds are vacant, is in the [brackets]:

Sign up for the Virtual March on Wall Street

[DUAC! DUAC!]

American Dream MovementSign up for the Virtual March on Wall Street

[This is right up the DUmmies' alley! A march that doesn't require any marching!]

Join us on Wednesday to create a huge show of support for anti-Wall Street actions nationwide.

[I'm in! I'm going to stand right next to the Virtual Will Pitt and the Virtual Marines!]

Together, we'll add hundreds of thousands of voices expressing our solidarity with the protests at Occupy Wall Street and across the country targeting the bankers who wrecked our economy.

[Speaking truth to virtual power!]

Done! and Recced!

[DUmb! And Wrecked!]

also tweeted it on Twitter!

[Twit and shout!]

let me just put on my typing shoes.

[Let your fingers do the marching.]

I'm a MoveOn member.

[I'm a MoveFromTheCouchToTheKeyboard member.]

I'm unclear on what this is supposed to accomplish.

[It's supposed to accomplish making lazy progs feel good about themselves.]

it's to show support for the OWS protest.

[It's to show support for the #OccupyWideSeat protest.]

Cool. Now you can virtually accomplish nothing.

[Hee! Hee! VIRTUAL FREEPER TROLL!!!]

I would be there in person if I could. But it's a long way away.

[Such commitment! Such dedication to The Cause!]

The next step....Occupy the land.

[DUmmie zeemike has a plan!]

It is really a fantasy of mine but one worth considering.

[Let's make that fantasy a REALITY!]

What if people that were tired of being a worker for someone else and that was interested in farming and sustainable living just occupied the land?

[Would I have to get out of my chair?]

I would bet that there are thousands of young people that would jump at the chance to have their own place to live...especialy if they could live sustainable on the land.

[I would bet there are thousands of land owners that would jump at the chance for some target practice.]

What (or whose) land are you speaking of, here?

[Just . . . anybody's. Wherever there is land that we want to occupy, sustainably.]

Ideally corporate land.

[That would make it evil land and thus eligible land.]

Using the reason that sense they are not living people they have no right to land...

[That makes since. People who aren't living people are the unluckiest people in the world.]

Most of the good land is owned by corporations or the ultra rich.

[Therefore we can just go ahead and steal it from them! Thou shalt not steal--unless thou likest not the people thou art stealing from.]

Ah, so you want to come occupy my land? My sister and I took the family farm and put it in an LLC. . . Yet you want to come occupy my land? I don't suggest that you try that, it really would be a bad idea on your part.

[My bullets might decide to #OccupyYourTorso.]

Not all unproductive and unoccupied land is suitable for much. There are many hundreds of square miles of land in NE Kansas and probably elsewhere, that is basically a thin layer, as in inches, of sod on top of solid rock hundred of feet thick. It doesn't plow too well.

[OK, so we'll force the evil land owners to plow it till it produces.]

In the hilltowns of Western Mass...the land is generally composed mostly of clay, and is very rocky. By rocky I mean, when you plow the land, you get lots of rocks and small boulders. A few months or a year later, more rocks and boulders come to the surface.

[So you're saying the rocks and boulders are sustainable? That's a start.]

Also, the climate isn't conducive to growing much of anything but the native plants and weeds. Mostly weeds.

[What kind of weeds? Now you've got me interested!]

OK, so let's say that happens....and then a few months later, the original occupiers of the land...Native Americans...decide they want their land back. All of it...the whole country. Let's say they tell anyone not of NA heritage to get the hell out of the country because they have no right to be on their land. What then?

[We get on a boat and go #OccupyEurope.]

I am not concerned about righting the wrongs of the past as I am with righting the wrongs of the present.

[By creating NEW wrongs!]

I think that a huge part of "righting the wrongs of the present" involves righting the wrongs of the past. . . . I would bet that 99% of DUers would piss themselves with glee to see Bush, Cheney, and a whole lot of others put into prison for the wrongs of the past.

[We are the 99%! We piss ourselves with glee!]

So how about the Native American casinos? Some of them are huge. People really want to take them down? Grab their land?

[Beat their slot machines into plowshares!]

Anyway, I'm sure we can sit here and debate that part of the issue all day without resolution, which I sort of expected anyway. Because I know that what people consider "right" will usually boil down to what THEY want.

[DUmmie pipi_k, a Kewpie Doll is on its way to #OccupyYourMailbox. Congratulations!]

This land is your land, this land is my land...

[And what is your land, will now be my land...]

lots in the city's are probably the most effective...and probably mostly owned by banks or other investors who will not like the idea at all....and they will put up just as good a fight against it.

[The Battle of Banker Hill.]

Or occupy suburban houses that were claimed by the banks. And use the yards to grow food.

[Out back by the cee-ment pond.]

This post proves that the "cause" is really about getting the rich, not helping people.

[Dang, DUmmie itsallhappening! Now you'll have to go and #OccupyPipi_k'sKewpieDoll!]

Are golf courses in gated communities the only place to grow food for the poor? Of course not.

[Golf course not.]

Are you advocating people take over the John Kerry's properties and grow food for the poor? They Kerrys are worth $193.3 million.

[Throw Tehrayza off the land!]

How about the Kennedy properties?

[#OccupyHyannisPort]

This is nothing more than class envy. . . .

[DUmmie itsallhappening, you can go to the HEAD of the class!]

Well maybe the rich need getting.

[DUmmie zeemike responds and makes the case for class warfare . . .]

Not all of them but surely the ones who have allowed greed to become such a part of their life. . . .

[And WE will judge who we think those are!]

And they could care less who or how many lives they wreck to get that more ether.

[Needs more ether!]

And that is why in the end it all comes down to them saying "let them eat cake"

[So off with their heads! . . . Is that you, Roseanne Barr?]

Except for the fact farming is darn hard work. . . .

[OK, forget that then. Let's just #OccupyTheVideoGameStores.]

We've been trying to maintain our plot of asparagus and veggies using organic methods, and it feels as if we burn up more calories pulling weeds and squashing bugs than we'll ever get from eating what we grow.

[Plus, if you can actually grow some asparagus, you end up getting that smelly pee. Ewww!]

It's not just a matter of "occupying the land." Are you willing to slave over it, ache over it, and probably live on a subsistence income for it?

[No. Forget I ever said it. Let's just #OccupyMamasBasement.]

It's hard work, it takes money to get started and while thousands- no make that millions of young people that would jump at the chance to have their own place to live, they're going to be expecting climate control, reliable hot water and wifi.

[#OccupyStarbucks]

I just think we need to make a leap into the future...and the way I see it the future is one where every one has a piece of land and we beat our swords into plow shares. but it does not have the meaning it once did....the swords of today are cruse missals and smart wepons....which when beaten into a plow will be a smart one...one the goes into the field and does the plowing for you while you monitor it from your house.

[Would a cruse missal have the story of Elijah and the miraculous supply of oil?]

Shutting down factories Is the only thing that will get their attention

[Oh, don't worry. Obama is doing a pretty good job of that on his own.]

Yeah, and...it will also get the attention of the thousands upon thousands of Americans who won't have a job when the factories close. But hey...f*** 'em. They can just go find a farm someplace and grow radishes and green beans.

[Give peas a chance!]

Have a Plan B ready before carrying out Plan A, or a lot of innocent people are going to get hurt.

[No! We're going with Plan Z, as in "zeemike"!]

Sometimes you have to sacrifice for the greater good. Otherwise the Oligarchs will always win.

[So a few of our comrades will have to eat radishes. Two steps backward, one step forward. For The Cause.]

Close down the factories. Close down transportation. Bring the whole economy to a screeching halt until they give in. A general strike would be awesome.

[GENERAL STRIKE! SHUT IT DOWN! SHUT IT ALL DOWN! POWER TO THE PEOPLE! NOT ONE D*MN ANYTHING!]

No pain, no gain.

[No brain, no sane.]

you're talking about seizing private property. If that's the road you want to go down, then the strongest and those with the most guns will have everything. Really? Is that what you want?

[No, silly. Because we are so much smarter and morally superior and superior in numbers--WE ARE THE 99%!--when we occupy somebody's land, those evil land owners will just naturally turn it over to us! We'll take it by eminent DUmmain! Let's have none of that talk about guns and "private property" and icky stuff like that!]

You're fooling yourself if you think for one minute most of these "thousands of young people" would have a clue how to live off even the most sustainable land.

[Hey, if we can grow some pot and some potatoes and green beans, make our own Doritos maybe--that's what I call sustainable! And we can always order out for pizza. Domino's and Doritos--the two basic food groups. It's all good.]

About Me

I am a 30,000 year old reincarnated being who materializes once every 5000 years in a Las Vegas hotel suite. My greatest goal in my eternal life is to spend 6 months on a small tropical island with Mary Matalin doing nothing but pitching a DUmmie FUnnies book (with CD-ROM insert) deal with her. If you happen to be Mary Matalin, please contact me at:
pjcomix@gmail.com. If you are anybody else, you can contact me there too. Remember, if you are a book publisher, please feel free to embarrass me with an extravagant book advance.