My Family on ABC’s Hit Show, “Wife Swap”

In October of 2012, my family took part in the experience of being on ABC’s, Wife Swap. Millions of people tuned in to see our family swap lives with a “strict disciplinarian.”

We saw the episode the night before it aired on ABC with our friends who were visiting from Bermuda and Australia. We were happy with the finished episode. It was very emotional to watch. There were moments of silence, tears and laughter. I will never forget watching it for the first time. We worked hard for many months going through the many steps of the process of being on such a production. It was an incredible learning experience for each one of us. We made new friends, lived other’s lives and grew as people being part of a reality show. It was reality and it was intense and we would do it all again, knowing how positive an impact it has on society as a whole.

It was a totally life-changing experience for our whole family and we all learned so much.

Saying goodbye before heading to San Diego to meet my Swap family.

Part of the awesome Wife Swap crew here at our house. They filmed over Halloween and some of the crew at both locations dressed up. It was such a fun day of filming!

Ivy and Devin fire twirling for the Wife Swap Crew.

The New Rules Ceremony at our house. It was probably the lowest point of the experience for my family.

My Swap Kids, Jory and Najia.

Here I am with part of MY crew out in San Diego.

The Sparkling Martins.

We have received hundreds, if not thousands, of emails about our appearance on the show!!
The positive support and comments were overwhelming and so much more than we ever thought we would get.
Our episode is the most viewed of this new Primetime season.

We are grateful for the opportunity and thank ABC Network and the entire Wife Swap Crew for being respectful, honest and kind working with our family.

Here is a pic from some friends in Australia who got together to watch Wife Swap and what Anna Foley said, “…and here we all are reeeeeally getting into it – all ages!! Kids were coming in and out during the viewing, to check it out too. I think we all felt so close to your family while watching this. We truly felt the emotional extremes Dayna Martin, watching this Wife Swap U.S. show. Plenty of ooohs and ahhhs, startled reactions and sighs…the whole range. What an experience! “

Comments

I watched your episode of Wife Swap with a few of my unschooled children. We were happy to see your family use the experience as a learning adventure. Thank you for doing the show and allowing others to see an inside view of a healthy, loving, unschooling family. You showed people that equality, respect, freedom, and love are very important. I am sad that so many parents don’t know that.

wow dana im in tears i felt so sorry for thoes outher kids we are kind of unschooling but still a bit controled due to my insecuritys(im working on it)and it was my big fear when the outher mum asked your daughter to spell only on the dish washer but then i saw what a visious parana the outher mum was the moment she got home ,you could just see her fumes to hear that outhers also know of her miss treatment and the instant reaction of that pictures not staying there and how the boy imediatley cowared and eyes droped when his mum got back to the usual drill ,so as much as im scared of how my unschooled kids will turn out becouse of some issues at my house i would be ashamed if my kids ever were scared of me or expressing them selves in a safe and considerate manner im so sad im almost not happy about the small vegan change to the drill sargents life my love to you all keep up the great example.

It was great to see how happy the other family became when Dayna was living with them. I was sad to see that the other mom went back to her old rules. Poor kids having to live with that crazy mom. I hope that the other mom realizes soon of her mistakes and stop her crazy rules and acting like a sargeant.

Hi Dayna, I really enjoyed the episode of Wife Swap with your family. I actually stumbled upon it a few months after learning about your blog and being introduced to Radical Unschooling. I hadn’t seen that show in years. Like other commenters, I was saddened by watching the other family’s kids (and husband) be demoralized by their matriarch.

One thing did catch me by surprise though, and maybe you’ll comment on this in later blog entries. I didn’t understand why your husband wouldn’t keep all of the rules, specifically on letting the kids go to school, and going to bed. It came across (on TV) as disrespectful. Obviously they don’t show everything that actually goes on in each house, and he had to put up with more than I might be able to take, but I was just curious.

I can’t imagine being in their shoes and I you all are incredibly brave for going through this experience. I believe you have made a great positive impact for the cause of Radical Unschooling. Keep it Up!

Dayna—I’d love to know what life is now like for your swap kids, Jory and Naja. Has their mom lightened up a little? I felt very sorry for those children, and I was so glad they got to see, through your examples, that life can be different from what they experience with their mother.

This was so wonderful to watch. My favorite moment is when your son spoke up for you when the other mom was trying to slander your name. My family is so similar to yours. We also practice a mostly raw vegan lifestyle, have a vitamix, the same mini van, unschooling, etc. It was awesome to see another family living the way we do. I didn’t think your house was messy AT ALL. I did not see any mess whenever the other mom was obsessing over how dirty everything supposedly was. I look forward to reading your book! xoxo

Hi Dayna
I just watched the wife swap and I am so grateful you did it. I do not believe radical unschooling would work for our family but I was so glad to see the dichotomy. When Children are loved and respected they can blossom. In the short week those kids could relax and enjoy life. That little girl was so proud to have her art on the wall. It broke my heart to see the mom comment that it wasn’t staying there. The mom was all about her own anxiety. Everyone lived in fear of her own emotional reactivity. How horribly sad. Thank you for showing us what beauty can look like.

I feel so bad for the other kids, in some ways it would have been better for them to have not experienced that freedom than to have it taken away after they started loving it… But who knows, perhaps in the future you will have inspired those kids for a better way to raise their own families.
I do have a question tho, It looked in the show like there were different rooms and beds, how many of them still cosleep?

I think it was a great show, I love all wife swap episodes. I love to see what new ways they adopt. In this episode, neither family adopted any which was VERY sad on both sides. Being a 14 yr old I do see that the kids were disrespectful and could have tried something new. I hope you had a great learning experience, but what about your kids and your husband???? I think the other kids will have more freedom in their own family’s, and your kids, too much freedom. Unschooling is not the way to go when your kids don’t know basics. They will grow up a laughing stock, and it will all root back to their childhood

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Dayna Martin has been inspiring others for over a decade by sharing her experience through natural birth, attachment parenting and Unschooling. She is an activist, educator and author of, Radical Unschooling: A Revolution Has Begun, and her newest … More...

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