Judaism & the 12 Steps

Is the 12-step program kosher?

The 12-step programs have been a very effective method of overcoming the scourge of a variety of addictions — alcohol, drugs, food, gambling, sex — and several others. Some opinions have been voiced regarding the propriety of these programs for Torah-observant Jews, and I’d like to bring some clarity to the issues.

Since the majority of meetings are held in church basements or social halls, some feel that these are Christian programs. The sad fact is that very few synagogues have made themselves available to program meetings. Inasmuch as the various addictions have seriously affected many Jews, it would be a mitzvah for synagogues to open their doors to meetings.

It may be argued that the first of the 12-step programs, Alcoholics Anonymous, was the outgrowth of a Christian group. This is true. However, as we shall see, the content of the 12-step programs is not only compatible with Torah, but actually seems to have been adopted from Torah sources. I cannot understand how the founder of AA, Bill Wilson, had access to concepts that we find in the Talmud and the mussar (personal growth) writings. The fact hat they were adopted by a Christian group hardly disqualifies them, just as the kedusha prayer in the amidah was not disqualified by its adoption into the Lord’s Prayer.

Let us now look at the 12 steps.

Step #1: We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol — that our lives had become unmanageable.

Step #2: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

This is essentially the Talmudic statement (Kedushin 30b) that one’s yetzer hara (evil inclination) increases in strength every day, and were it not for the help of God, one would not be able to withstand it. In other words, without the help of God, we are powerless over the yetzer hara. Indeed, the Talmud relates that two of our most righteous rabbis were tempted by Satan and were actually in the process of submitting to the sin, and were saved only by the intervention of God. (Kedushin 81a).

Without God's help, we are powerless.

The Talmud refers to sin as due to temporary insanity (Sotah 3a). Thus, just as we are powerless to resist the temptation to sin without God’s help, so the alcoholic is powerless to resist the temptation to drink, and only a Power greater than oneself (which we define as God) can prevent the insane behavior.

Step #3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

The phrase “God as we understood Him” has been a source of confusion. It was meant to avoid reference to the deity of any religion. The Jew should say, “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of Hashem.” This step expresses two Torah concepts. (1) Set aside your own will in favor of the will of Hashem (Ethics of the Fathers 2:4) and (2) “Cast upon God your burden, and He will sustain you” (Psalms 55:23).

Step #4: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

Classic Jewish literature repeatedly stresses the importance of chesbon hanefesh, a personal accounting which could not be expressed any better than “a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.” This must indeed be fearless, because it takes great courage to honestly search oneself and confront parts of our character and personality whose existence we may be reluctant to acknowledge.

In doing a moral inventory, we must list our assets as well as our liabilities, our merits as well as our faults, because only this way can we achieve a true self-awareness. If a person is unaware of his faults, he doesn't know what he must correct. However, a person who is unaware of his character strengths is even in a more sorry state, because he is unaware of the tools he has to live a proper life.

Step #5: Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

This step has been misconstrued as being the Catholic confession. This is not so. In his guide to proper living, Rebbe Elimelech of Lizensk says that a person should avail oneself of a trusted friend, to whom one can admit everything has done, and even the objectionable thoughts and desires one has harbored. Verbalizing these breaks the hold of the yetzer hara, the evil inclination.

Step #6: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

Step #7: Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

We generally can control our behavior, but we may have little or no control over some of our feelings. It is evident from the Talmud that we are born with some character traits, some of which we can sublimate and redirect to positive goals. We may not, by our own efforts, be able to extirpate some undesirable traits.

The saintly Chafetz Chaim was known to pray tearfully at the Ark of the Torah that God relieve him of his feelings of anger. The Chafetz Chaim never exhibited anger because he was in control of his behavior, but he could not eliminate feeling angry, and he prayed that God remove these.

Obviously, we must do our homework to rid ourselves of objectionable traits, and this is how one becomes “ready to have God remove all these defects of character.” Once one has done whatever is within one’s power, one can then “ask God to remove our shortcomings.”

Step #8: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

Step #9: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

The Talmud says that whereas a person’s sins are forgiven on Yom Kippur, this does not apply to offenses committed against another person. Divine forgiveness is granted only if one has genuinely sought forgiveness from the person one harmed or offended.

It is of interest that there is a difference of opinion between ethicists whether a person should seek to make amends if doing so would be displeasing to the victim. A man asked me to forgive him for having spread a bad rumor about me. I did forgive him, but I wished that he had not told me about this, because now I was worried about what bad rumors might be circulating about me.

In such cases, Rabbi Yisrael of Salant said that one would be better off not asking for forgiveness, because this aggravates the person. The Chafetz Chaim, however, said that one must ask forgiveness nevertheless. I was amused that Bill Wilson had gravitated to the opinion of Rabbi Yisrael of Salant.

Step #10: Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.

In Alei Shur, Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe says that one should carry a notebook and record occurrences of a moral or ethical nature, and review them at the end of the day.

Are the 12-steps kosher? I think they reach the highest standards.

One cannot emphasize strongly enough “when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.” The natural tendency is to defend a mistake and rationalize it. This is a gross error. Recent political events have proven that “cover-ups” do not work. One will have much better results if one overcomes the tendency to defend a mistake, and admit it promptly.

Step #11: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious with God, praying only for knowledge of His will and the power to carry it out.

Classic Jewish literature is replete with this principle.

Step #12: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Torah teaches us that we have a duty of mutual responsibility for one another. There is a Scriptural mitzvah of giving reproof for improper behavior. Indeed, if one has the possibility of positively influencing another person and fails to do so, one is held responsible for the other person’s misdeeds.

The Talmud says that there is one verse on which all of Torah depends: “Know God in all your ways” (Proverbs 3:6), Torah rejects the idea “Give unto God that which is His and unto Caesar that which is his.” We do not have two standards, one for religion and the other for the secular. We are required to practice the principles of Torah “in all our affairs.”

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About the Author

Dr. Abraham Twerski is a psychiatrist and founder of Gateway Rehabilitation Center in Pittsburgh, one of America’s leading facilities for addiction treatment. He is the author of more than 60 books, and lectures extensively on the topics of chemical dependency, stress, self-esteem and spirituality. For 20 years, he served as clinical director of the Department of Psychiatry at St. Francis Hospital in Pittsburgh, and was associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Pittsburgh’s School of Medicine. Dr. Twerski is an ordained rabbi, and traces his ancestry to the Baal Shem Tov, founder of the Chassidic movement. Visit him online at www.abrahamtwerski.com, and his 12-step self-esteem program at www.12steps2selfesteem.org.

Visitor Comments: 17

(17)
Anonymous,
May 31, 2015 1:15 PM

Continued....

At the same time however, we must keenly recognize in all matters but specifically in matters of spirituality, on which the very program in discussion is based, the strength or power of the spiritual conditions at work can only be as strong or effective as their source. When it comes to spirituality, the sole source is God, His Torah, and Am Yisorel are ONE anything less than the full potency of Hashem's spiritual force falls short of the needs the Jewish soul requires. As we know, one cannot advance beyond a certain point of spiritual connection sans Torah observance, the likes of which will certainly not be found in an AA room. We must have gratitude to AA for the help it has afforded our Brothers and Sisters when there was no where else to go. Although unfortunately it might still be a necessity for our Nation (largely due to our own inadequacies in dealing with it) we should certainly not seem to be advocates of its purity.

(16)
,
November 25, 2010 12:59 PM

I AM GRATEFUL TO KNOW ABOUT THESE 12 STEPS AND HOW I CAN RELATE TO THEM THROUGH TORAH. AN EXCELLENT ARTICLE. THANK YOU

(15)
,
November 19, 2010 3:47 PM

EXCELLENT

I WISH WE HAD A 12 STEP PROGRAM IN A SHUL .
HOW MUCH THERE IS TO LEARN AND EXPERIENCE G-D IN ALL MY WAYS.

(14)
Danial Turner,
November 7, 2010 1:20 AM

As a goy with four Jewish Daughters and strong ties to the orthodox community I have found myself being drawn to the Jewish concept of god as opposed to a Christen concept. My A.A. group meets in the basement of a Christen church and I go to a christen church with my wife on Sunday but have never found any one region espouse in a A. A. meeting. Some members do say that there higher power is Jesus and we have a atheists member. At the moment my higher power is a lime tree that I am growing. But as I meditate in the morning while reading out of my A.A books and watching the tree grow, I realize that a higher power has given me this wonderful planet with beauty beyond belief. I total believe that a 12 step program is in line with the teaching of the torah. I also visit this web sight daily for "The Daily Lift" and "Growing Each Day" because it helps with my sobriety and improves my outlook on life. And yes thank you Dr.Twerski for this article, I hope it may bring someone in need to A.A

(13)
Tammy S,
November 6, 2010 7:11 PM

12 Steps help lead me to Judaism

Thank you for the excellent article.
I was in the Christian Religion and most of the churches I was in were against the 12 Steps of A.A. claiming Jesus was all they needed. Well, clearly that wasn't working for most of them because sin was rampant (aside from not being Torah observant to start with). I got into the 12 step program and my life started changing because of my Higher Power; and utilizing all of the steps. Not long after starting the program, I found aish.com and other Jewish websites and started saying the Shema - G-d is one; and HE IS the Higher Power. No need for anyone else - everyone is responsible for themselves as the Torah and the 12 Steps teach. Needless to say, I've left behind the false teaching of someone else being able to take away my sin by a sacrificial death that is not even a proper sacrifce and can't be done by a demi-god. The 12 steps and sites like aish helped me to find the true Higher Power and convert to the true religion. BTW, I've seen so many other lives changed by the 12 step program; and as we say - keep coming back, It works if you work it, and work it cuz you're worth it. G-d be with you.

(12)
dina,
November 3, 2010 3:28 PM

problem with anonymity in synagogues

It was going meetings held in a church that I am more open to the chassidus in my naibourhood. My whole attitude to life has changed. Problem with meetings in shuls in orthodox communities is annonymity. Need a location were others wont just walk in to join thinking it is another shiur, or question people walking in that are from different races, religions and with unusual dress. This is a challenge in my naibourhood. When I go to meetings in other naibourhoods I feel more secure, away from people who don't respect privacy. Interested in setting up a registered Al anon meeting that accepts all members, regardless of dress or personal belief, in a chassidish community but have yet to find a safe and unobtrusive location.

(11)
,
November 3, 2010 10:22 AM

A note to Aron:

Aron, I read your message. I do agree with you in a sense. I also think the 12 steps can be used in a positive way, even for survivors of great injustice. There are 12 step programs for survivors of sexual abuse. In the stepworking guides of Narcotics Anonymous, the fourth step includes a section of questions on abuse, specifically for people who's lives have been touched by abuse. The important thing is to accept our feelings. Sometimes these feelings are being grandiose, needing to be a victim and fear of any part of the confusing spectrum of emotions we may have had during the abuse suffered. Sometimes these feelings are berating ourselves for being "whiny" and "weak", and a denial of the extent that we have been wronged and our feelings of anger. Sometimes, both reactions are present in the same person. In any group, you will have people who manipulate the basic principle of humility into a form of oppression and abasement, unfortunately.

(10)
AnonAnon,
November 3, 2010 1:10 AM

Thanks! No shame in the truth; 12 Steps brought me to Hashem

Aron's concerns seem confusing, starting with calling members of these peer groups "clients" -- there's no leader, and it's not a therapy group. And in my experience, it feels liberating, not abasing, to admit that I (without Hashem) harm myself with my disordered eating and sometimes do harm to others for which I need to make amends. No more shame -- I hold my head up as a human being made b'tselem Hashem, I stay honest with others, I take responsibility for myself. Although I know of occasional non-Jewish sponsors recommending kneeling, etc., for me working the 12 steps keeps me out of the mire and much more open to greater Jewish learning.
Thanks so much R. Dr. Twerski for being a groundbreaker and for being there for us!

(9)
Elana Spezio,
November 2, 2010 3:50 PM

12 steps led me to Judiasm

Perhaps it is irony. Working the 12 steps was the major factor leading me to embrace Judaism.

(8)
Manasseh,
November 2, 2010 1:12 PM

Dr Twersky
Thankyou for this article
As a candidate and a counselor in subsatnce abuse I have seen many people of many beliefs and many walks of life in many nations get help from the programme
Thanks for shedding a holy light on the subject
Shalom

(7)
Sarah,
November 1, 2010 10:48 PM

The 12 Steps saved my life

The principles in the 12 steps saved my life and returned sanity to me. I also find them consonant with both Judaism and Christianity. Thank you for speaking on this issue.

(6)
Aron,
November 1, 2010 6:04 PM

A program based on personal shame will not always be effective.

Without wasting time discussing the step-by-step details, suffice to say that about half the steps involve the client expressing a sense of personal shame, & therefore abasing himself/herself before the therapy group. But what if the source of some individuals' addictions was a terrible wounding of their self-esteem at an early age--e.g., having been emotionally, physically &/or sexually abused? Would they not have already suffered enough personal shame? In such cases, the 12-step program merely adds new shame to the old shame. That, in my opinion, is not only ineffective but might make the original problem much worse. Our worst criminals do not have pain inflicted upon them (other than the fact of the imprisonment itself), so why should pain be inflicted on those who are addicted because they are already suffering ?

(5)
Anonymous,
November 1, 2010 10:48 AM

My objections

I am part of a 12 step program, and it has changed my life for the good. There are certain points though, that I object to.
1. The program emphasizes spirituality, and some Jews are getting spiritually high on the program, and disregarding Judaism's pathway to becoming spiritual. They disregard mitzva observance in favor of the spirituality they get in the 12 step program.
2. Some 12 step programs strongly suggest that a person view the program as the most important thing in his life. I refuse to do this, since G-d is the most important thing in my life. If there would be a conflict between G-d's will, as seen in the Torah, and program, G-d would win.
3. Step 11 talks about meditation. Different groups explain meditation in different ways, and some of these explanations seem to be against Torah thought.
4. There is a lot of "official literature" being read and shared in these groups. Not all the official literature is in agreement with Judaism. Our group actually reads some of Rabbi Twerski's books, so we can be sure we are getting an authentic Jewish outlook together with the 12 steps.

(4)
Anonymous,
November 1, 2010 12:21 AM

words of wisdom

As usual, Rabbi Dr. Twerski gives sound interpretation and timely advice. I am always amazed at how he clarifies the most complex ideas and uplifts the soul. Thanks again for giving out another dose of sanity.

(3)
sheila,
October 31, 2010 10:44 PM

I have been a member of a 12 Step program and derived great help and recovery. Always uncomfortable in churches but synagogues were not available for our meetings. The Reform Temple has permitted a meeting on Sunday mornings for a couple of years now. It is a successful meeting for the organization.

(2)
AlbertE.,
October 31, 2010 6:22 PM

Wilson

Wilson may have been totally oblivious to the Torah teachings but came to the same exact reasonable conclusions based upon Christian teachings, those Christian teachings based to a large extent upon both Old and New Testament scripture. Really not an amazing conincidence.
"The phrase 'God as we understood Him' has been a source of confusion".
Again, this phrase is inclusive rather than exclusive. NOT merely Christian. For EVERYONE!

(1)
suzi,
October 31, 2010 5:13 PM

12 step program is Kosoher

Thank you for answering my question on this. Can we equally accept the "Serenity Prayer" as Kosher also? It makes more sense than anything else in life today does, or any day. I am not alcoholic: these rules can be for any of our travails, physical and emotional struggles, and just our daily journey. In order to accomplish good, and not waste time and effort, this prayer succinctly asks HASHEM for the guidance essential in accomplishing our goal to better serve HIM, and HIS UNIVERSE, in all that we do. Our passage through this life is short, yet can be fruitful if we employ proper mind sets from point A to point B. The information we ask of HASHEM in this prayer, can be our divining rod. What is the Jewish view of this?

I live in rural Montana where the Cholov Yisrael milk is difficult to obtain and very expensive. So I drink regular milk. What is your view on this?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Jewish law requires that there be rabbinic supervision during the milking process to ensure that the milk comes from a kosher animal. In the United States, many people rely on the Department of Agriculture's regulations and controls as sufficiently stringent to fulfill the rabbinic requirement for supervision.

Most of the major Kashrut organizations in the United States rely on this as well. You will therefore find many kosher products in America certified with a 'D' next to the kosher symbol. Such products – unless otherwise specified on the label – are not Cholov Yisrael and are assumed kosher based on the DOA's guarantee.

There are many, however, do not rely on this, and will eat only dairy products that are designated as Cholov Yisrael (literally, "Jewish milk"). This is particularly true in large Jewish communities, where Cholov Yisrael is widely available.

Rabbi Moshe Feinstein wrote that under limited conditions, such as an institution which consumes a lot of milk and Cholov Yisrael is generally unavailable or especially expensive, American milk is acceptable, as the government supervision is adequate to prevent non-kosher ingredients from being added.

It should be added that the above only applies to milk itself, which is marketed as pure cow's milk. All other dairy products, such as cheeses and butter, may contain non-kosher ingredients and always require kosher certification. In addition, Rabbi Feinstein's ruling applies only in the United States, where government regulations are considered reliable. In other parts of the world, including Europe, Cholov Yisrael is a requirement.

There are additional esoteric reasons for being stringent regarding Cholov Yisrael, and because of this it is generally advisable to consume only Cholov Yisroel dairy foods.

In 1889, 800 Jews arrived in Buenos Aires, marking the birth of the modern Jewish community in Argentina. These immigrants were fleeing poverty and pogroms in Russia, and moved to Argentina because of its open door policy of immigration. By 1920, more than 150,000 Jews were living in Argentina. Juan Peron's rise to power in 1946 was an ominous sign, as he was a Nazi sympathizer with fascist leanings. Peron halted Jewish immigration to Argentina, introduced mandatory Catholic religious instruction in public schools, and allowed Argentina to become a haven for fleeing Nazis. (In 1960, Israeli agents abducted Adolf Eichmann from a Buenos Aires suburb.) Today, Argentina has the largest Jewish community in Latin America with 250,000, though terror attacks have prompted many young people to emigrate. In 1992, the Israeli Embassy in Buenos Aires was bombed, killing 32 people. In 1994, the Jewish community headquarters in Buenos Aires was bombed, killing 85 people. The perpetrators have never been apprehended.

Be aware of what situations and behaviors give you pleasure. When you feel excessively sad and cannot change your attitude, make a conscious effort to take some action that might alleviate your sadness.

If you anticipate feeling sad, prepare a list of things that might make you feel better. It could be talking to a specific enthusiastic individual, running, taking a walk in a quiet area, looking at pictures of family, listening to music, or reading inspiring words.

While our attitude is a major factor in sadness, lack of positive external situations and events play an important role in how we feel.

[If a criminal has been executed by hanging] his body may not remain suspended overnight ... because it is an insult to God (Deuteronomy 21:23).

Rashi explains that since man was created in the image of God, anything that disparages man is disparaging God as well.

Chilul Hashem, bringing disgrace to the Divine Name, is one of the greatest sins in the Torah. The opposite of chilul Hashem is kiddush Hashem, sanctifying the Divine Name. While this topic has several dimensions to it, there is a living kiddush Hashem which occurs when a Jew behaves in a manner that merits the respect and admiration of other people, who thereby respect the Torah of Israel.

What is chilul Hashem? One Talmudic author stated, "It is when I buy meat from the butcher and delay paying him" (Yoma 86a). To cause someone to say that a Torah scholar is anything less than scrupulous in meeting his obligations is to cause people to lose respect for the Torah.

Suppose someone offers us a business deal of questionable legality. Is the personal gain worth the possible dishonor that we bring not only upon ourselves, but on our nation? If our personal reputation is ours to handle in whatever way we please, shouldn't we handle the reputation of our nation and the God we represent with maximum care?

Jews have given so much, even their lives, for kiddush Hashem. Can we not forego a few dollars to avoid chilul Hashem?

Today I shall...

be scrupulous in all my transactions and relationships to avoid the possibility of bringing dishonor to my God and people.

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