Before he was a politician — or rather, a successful one (he ran for Congress twice unsuccessfully in 1988 and 1990) — Mike Pence was a talk-radio host, who described himself as Rush Limbaugh on decaf, which is to say: All of the crazy with none of the fanfare. During those years as a talk radio host, he had a very interesting theory on the Disney film, Mulan, and how it was liberal propaganda designed to help integrate women in the military, which he thought was a “bad idea” because obviously men and women can’t work together without fucking each other.

Just spent a memorable Fathers Day, like so many other all American Hoosier dads, with my kids at the new Disney film entitled, “Mulan”. For those who have not yet been victimized by the McDonald’s induced hysteria over this film, Mulan is a fictional account of a delicate girl of the same name who surreptitiously takes her fathers place in the Chinese army in one of their ancient wars against the Huns. Despite her delicate features and voice, Disney expects us to believe that Mulan’s ingenuity and courage were enough to carry her to military success on an equal basis with her cloddish cohorts. Obviously, this is Walt Disney’s attempt to add childhood expectation to the cultural debate over the role of women in the military. I suspect that some mischievous liberal at Disney assumes that Mulan’s story will cause a quiet change in the next generation’s attitude about women in combat and they just might be right. (Just think about how often we think of Bambi every time the subject of deer hunting comes into the mainstream media debate.)

The only problem with this liberal hope is the reality which intrudes on the Disney ideal from the mornings headlines. From the original “Tailhook” scandal involving scores of high ranking navy fighter pilots who molested subordinate women to the latest travesty at Aberdeen Proving Grounds, the hard truth of our experiment with gender integration is that is has been an almost complete disaster for the military and for many of the individual women involved. When Indiana Congressman Steve Buyer was appointed to investigate the Aberdeen mess, he shocked the public with the revelation that young, nubile, 18 year old men and women were actually being HOUSED together during basic training. Whatever bone head came up with this idea should be run out of this man’s Army before sundown. Housing, in close quarters, young men and women (in some cases married to non-military personnel) at the height of their physical and sexual potential is the height of stupidity. It is instructive that even in the Disney film, young Ms. Mulan falls in love with her superior officer! Me thinks the politically correct Disney types completely missed the irony of this part of the story. They likely added it because it added realism with which the viewer could identify with the characters. You see, now stay with me on this, many young men find many young women to be attractive sexually. Many young women find many young men to be attractive sexually. Put them together, in close quarters, for long periods of time, and things will get interesting. Just like they eventually did for young Mulan. Moral of story: women in military, bad idea.

Uh. OK. It seems like a Disney kids’ film brought up a lot of sexual feelings for Mike Pence, which is a little weird. Also, the word “nubile” is literally only used in the context of porn, so add a “squick” to the the VP nominee’s sexism.

Also note that, when running for Congress in the 1980s, Mike Pence used political contributions to pay his mortgage, his wife’s car payments, his personal credit card bill, and groceries, which wasn’t illegal at the time, but definitely sketchy.