The Office grew quiet again...there was that feeling of tension creeping around the cubicles...
Ethan looked up from his computer to see Gary standing in his doorway.

"Ethan hey, we really need to validate our computer downtime around here I mean it's getting ridiculous don't you think? Can you put out a memo about that? thanks I've got a meeting to go to."

On his way out the door Gary met that cute redhead again and tried to talk to her. "So what did you think of that meeting yesterday? I thought its goals were a little too forward oriented myself..." No response...

Oh it was a joke, only Gary wasn't in on it...he was serious. Others tried to stay away from him as much as possible. -tried-...obviously the man saw himself as management material but...it was a pain. A real pain. often you'd see him in the corner chatting to someone whose eyes would be glazed over, absentmindedly nodding, pretending to understand it all. Some said it was drugs...others just thought he was stupid. Ethan was one of the latter, he sat at his computer trying to think if Gary had any real meaning to this one this time. oh well...whatever...he got back to work.

2 hours later Gary was in his space again.
"wow that was a great meeting I never thought about the overflow of our customer orientation like that before..."

"what?"
"yeah, the whole presentation had a real synergy that was totally goal oriented. wow."
"oh...cool."
Jesus...where was a gun?
It had all started a few years back when management had brought in one of those people, you know, one of those "lets make this a family! A real strong team! we'll bond, get to know each other..." real inspirational suedo buisness crap.
The very next day Gary had started.

At first everyone thought he actually had something to say, but as time wore on and his verbal diareha threatened to drown them all it was obvious he was just play acting.

Trouble was, Gary thought it was all so important.
he would spout off about this or that, activate our blah blah blah... re-invent the whole...pick a word. compesate for our own... Jesus!

ethan could take it at the weekly meetings from the department head, HE usually explained what he meant. but Gary?

Thats why Ethan had brought the gun. He planned on teaching Gary a lesson. Ethan had no way of knowing how crazy he was...he WAS crazy after all...
Sure everyone laughed about it, ignored it. but Ethan had had enough! HE alone bore the brunt of it. -god knew why- Also, no-one could have guessed that Ethan was so unhinged to begin with.
You can never tell...

Any ways Ethan walked calmly down the hall and into Gary's cubicle. He pulled out the gun and stuck it in Gary's face... "look here buddy, I don't appreciate you coming over to my station all the time and spouting all that crap to me...
I mean Half the time I don't even know what you mean to begin with! What the Hell is with all that crap anyways?"

Others were starting to look over the tops of thier walls. Ethan didn't realize he was screaming.

Funny thing was, it wasn't all Gary's fault. Ethan had been suffering from some kind of mental illness or what have you for a few years now. And it was getting worse...undiagnosed, it would haunt him for years.

" Tell you what, I'm gonna...I'm gonna redistribute your worldview here. said Ethan, he smiled as he said it...

Comments

The following comments are for "Bullsh*t"by wally 5

Wicked
So stream-of-consciousness and dreamlike. In a way it reads like a story that someone's telling himself in his head as he sits in his cubicle, bored and zombified. Maybe a plan for the future.

I really liked the ambiguous tone -- the reader at first isn't sure whether this is a comedy or a drama. It could go both ways. And then the line, "Jesus ... where was a gun?" That could be read as a joke, or it could be read as a sincere question, like the guy's really wondering where the nearest gun is. In a way that line's the turning point, because afterwards it becomes clear that the guy really does have murderous intent!

Also the characters were easy to relate to, since we have all experienced a Gary in the workplace. And we've all fantasized about killing him. Or was that just me?

So true...
yeah I wrote this one after finding a site that was labeled as a bullshit generator. you hit the make bullshit button and it would come up with stuff like that. so i was inspired to write this.

Bullsh*t Generator Wally 5
B+
Those generators can be fun. I have a poem "Generated JabberWocky" that was inspired in much the same way as you were here, but unlike you, only about 50% of it was my intellect alone, the rest was pure generator. It was fun in any case.