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Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby announced at a Christian conference today (can you imagine the moth balls?) that even though the overwhelming majority of sane people – and even some who are two HobNobs short of a Harrods hamster – believe in the sanctity of equal marriage, that does not change the fact that God’s laws are there to obey. Or else.

‘Popular opinion on equal marriage is not a case for changing obedience to God,’ he said, totally stealing our headline.

This, from the man who was only given the democratic vote on equal marriage in the House of Lords because not only does he believe in fairies, but gets to live in a big palace with sweeping river views because he believes the hardest out of all of ’em.

So, depending on which page of crazy the sheep are fingering that day, that could be anything from stoning the filth out of your daughter currently riding her crimson wave or spinning around, touching the ground until water turns to Stolly Bolly, or whatever tipple won the PR campaign to be Jesus’s blood that month. Because let’s face it, the bible has always been interpreted to suit whatever bigotry is in right now.

And this, just a week after Justin Welby made a complete cock out of himself by condemning Wonga – the payday loan chancers who have funny old puppet people in their adverts – without failing to mention that the Church of England actually put up capital to found Wonga, or indeed offering to sell his fairytale palace by the Thames to help some old people pay their gas bills over Fall/Winter 2013/14.