Me:"That means that today is Columbus Eve. Tonight, when you're asleep, Christopher Columbus will come into everyone's house through the garage and leave all the good little boys and girls little toy ships."

Take this one step further. Start making up holidays. Tell the kids that each holiday requires a gift be presented to the head of the household. Wait. Your wife might get tired of all those gifts. Nevermind.

WTF is wrong with all you dads? You guys get training somewhere for this? You just passing along the shit your daddies did to you? SICK! I tell you it is SICK! Don't get me wrong, it's funny and I laugh, but I laugh at all sorts of inappropriate shit, like midgets, and pedestrians being struck by moving vehicles, and the list goes on.

I do this shit all the time. My kids hate it, but I love it. I can't stop doing it, in fact, because it's so funny. I'm glad I'm not the only one, although my gladness is tempered by the fact that the only other one I know is you. Just kidding. Not really. Yes, I am kidding.

I really want to hear your explanation about the whole Easter, bunny, egg thing. I mean, rabbits....eggs...a cornucopia of sexual suggestive in poor taste your wife is going to put you in jail bad jokes right there.

I just spent all day Sunday in Little Italy in San Diego...they would kick your butt from here to...to...the other side of the world. Where the hell was he headed again? They had cool models of the ships though and some incredible food.

When she was young, I used to tell my daughter all kinds of ridiculous things just to piss off her mother. It worked! Now my second, much younger wife is often the unsuspecting victim of the stories my daughter and I lay on her.

You are hilarious! Thanks for grossing me out and making me laugh all at once! This is why I am giving you the Best Blog Award.Find it here:http://whatswrongwithmommy.blogspot.com/2009/10/yay-i-got-me-award-j-lovely-mrs.html