Johnson tells the laddy mag all kinds of juicy secrets about Tiki’s life and their relationship, including the fact that Tiki likes to walk around naked, they went to McDonald’s on their first date, and she controls the remote.

Were sure this will in no way make Tiki look like an even bigger douche to his four children.

Anyway, we don’t like to judge. Okay, that’s a lie. We love to judge, but these photos of Johnson are a lot more fun to judge than the manhood of an ex-NFL star.