Well, it’s official: Lindsay Lohan is behind bars. Hopefully, this marks the end of the dramatic saga that has pushed the troubled starlet into the spotlight for all the wrong reasons. When times are tough, some of us can count on our parents for their support and their discretion. Unfortunately, Lindsay can’t say the same for her press-friendly father, Michael Lohan.

On Tuesday, Lindsay tweeted, “I don't want Michael Lohan Sr. anywhere near me, no matter where I am. I am in a great place and he only brings negativity in my world.” In order to respect her wishes, Papa Lohan showed up at the courthouse and shouted, “We love you Lindsay” at his daughter. His lawyer then told the press, "Michael spent the morning praying for his daughter. He doesn't believe she should be incarcerated. He is devastated she is going to jail and he is ready and able to help her at any time." Very respectful, Michael.

“And I wear all your old clothes your polo sweater/
I dream of another you, one who would never/
Never, leave me alone to pick up the pieces/
Daddy to hold me, that's what I needed.”

Papa Lohan's time in jail includes a three year sentence for insider trading. In 2009, he furthered the riff by releasing an audiotape of a distraught Lindsay sobbing and opening up to her father about her troubles. The reason he leaked it to the press? He claimed he did it in order to get Lindsay the help he believed she needed. Ick.

The child actor, best known as the kid from "Home Alone," had a very troubled childhood. It was well known in Hollywood that his father Kit ruled the Culkin family with an iron fist and was at time physically abusive. When Culkin's father left the family, a nasty custody battle began which led the child star to legally take control of his $17 million fortune. Culkin and his father are still estranged.

The actress and her mother Teri Shields have had a difficult relationship since Brooke began acting as an infant. An 11-year-old Brooke played a child prostitute in 1978's "Pretty Baby." The film contained several nude scenes. At 15, she starred in "Blue Lagoon," another film that contained more nudity and received even more attention. In 1995, Brooke fired Teri as her manager.

--The Jacksons (Papa Joe vs. all of his kids, and death is no impediment to ick-nastiness)
--The Simpson girls vs. their skeevy father, who publicly makes inappropriate comments about their bodies.
--The Hogan family. Mother and daughter compete for boyfriends (and Mom wins); Dad shows up to daughter's strip performance and enthusiastically supports her

The Writers of Lohan will always appear when they light the beacons of Dramawh***.
"Britney Spears shall be shaken, Brooke Shields shall be splintered! A sordid day... a red day... ere the sun rises!"
-First Marshall of TMZ Harvey Levin

This was mostly ignored because the prevailing opinion (created by the trash media to sell stories), is a spoiled celebrity who parties. Of course the Legal Bureaucracy always wants to send a message (more budget please).

P.S. The recent probation report (which leaked her medical data) showed her dad had been right all along about doctors hooking her on mood drugs, while her mom gives her sympathy.

I spent two weeks in jail for sneaking in an outdoor drive-in movie when I was 15, and 6 months in jail for hitchhiking down the interstate in Peoria Illinois back in the early 70's...
Sure is a kick in the nuts to learn that some rich alcoholic dopehead is only going to get two weeks.
I guess if you're rich you can do no wrong.