DPM's diary: 29 May 2007

Weekly round up of events at Bogcaster City Council...

It is very nice in Barca at this time of year. The Fartner Symposium is dominated by people selling mainframe... sorry, wash my mouth out virtualisation solutions on the back of huge interest in greening IT.

Fartner's director of rehashing, Simcard Mingie, told us yesterday that not going green would be bad for our commercial prospects. There was no mention of the fact that, as the world's fastest growing source of CO2 emissions, we in IT are the actual bad guys who are destroying the planet.

Anyway, a sudden pang of green conscience led me to cancel the flight back and book passage instead on the train-hotel to Paris, and hence back to Blighty via Eurostar. The fact that a certain mademoiselle I met on the Sicco stand needs to get back to Paris and has accepted my suggestion that we share an overnight sleeper is purely coincidental.

Tuesday

Keynote speech today was from Thicklip Doserale, the founder of Life Two and leading e-universe guru. Interesting to see him in non-avatar form.

Mind you, it turns out he has a wings, a large fish-like tail and is constantly changing his gender and/or removing his clothes, exposing a complete absence of genitalia.

Wednesday

Most of the symposium today is about "multi-sourcing", a much hyped and discussed concept that actually means well, buying kit and services from several different suppliers.

This does not really strike me as a new idea in the IT industry, but then, unlike most Fartner fans, I have never really been a dedicated IBM user.

Thursday

Woke up on the train, which had pulled up at the station in Paris. My companion had already left, but there was a note on the pillow.

As it was in idiomatic French, I am not entirely certain if it was saying, "When can we do this again?" or, "What a disappointment." But, then again, her ambiguity may be a deliberate style affected for the purpose of increasing her allure - much like the marketing policy of many of our leading application suppliers.

Friday

Now I am back from Fartner I have to go through a detox process. This consists of me sitting in a chair with my wrists wired to a 12 volt battery. I talk about the experience of the symposium and Mavis gives me a shock each time I use the word "leverage", "vendor", or use a noun or adjective as a verb.

After 10 minutes my flesh is beginning to smoulder, but I am restored to linguistic competence.

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