Brock Osweiler (17) of the Houston Texans loses the ball against the Denver Broncos during the third quarter on Monday. (Helen H. Richardson / THE DENVER POST)

Hey, Brock Osweiler. Here's a pizza. And $37 million guaranteed. Now get out of Denver, baby. Go back to Houston, land of opportunity.

The Broncos won the Brock Bowl. They beat Osweiler and Houston 27-9 on a Monday night when the Denver defense came looking for a fight, wanting to punish Osweiler for bailing on the Super Bowl champs.

It was no contest. Somebody should have kept Osweiler home and tucked him safely in bed early.

"When Brock was here, we was real cool ... He's a good dude," Broncos safety T.J. Ward said referring to Osweiler's days in Denver. "But when he's on the other team, he's the enemy."

His ears burned from booing dipped in orange, which drenched Osweiler every time he set foot on the field at Sports Authority Field at Mile High.

"I assumed I would get a lot of boos," Osweiler said. "In fact, I thought they would be a little bit louder."

Oz is so harmless it's difficult to work up real hate for him.

In the pocket, a jittery Osweiler acted as if the football was on fire and his world would come crashing down if the count in the quarterback's head reached three Mississippi. It all culminated with a delicious moment early in the fourth quarter when Osweiler literally lost a grip on the situation and fumbled with a big swing and whiff while attempting a pass.

"I had a pick right there. That's why he let the ball go," said Broncos cornerback Chris Harris, advancing the theory that his jumping of a route so frightened Osweiler that it caused him to cough up a fumble. "I think that's why he lost the ball, because I was breaking on (the route) so hard."

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What did we learn? Well, to tell the truth: Nothing new, except maybe to the Texans, who are stuck with a QB that is going to make Houstonians order a frosty mug of Santo Black Kolsch and pine for the glory days of Matt Schaub.

Osweiler is a lover, not a fighter.

"We kept Brock out of the end zone," Broncos cornerback Aqib Talib said.

The Texans' entire offensive game plan was a quivering bow to the Denver defense. It was as if Houston coach Bill O'Brien read the quote where Broncos linebacker Brandon Marshall said he wanted to kill Osweiler and took those words literally. The Brock Lobster seemed more intent on avoiding a sack than finding the end zone.This is all you really need to know: With 310-pound tackle Kendall Lamm constantly checking in the game as an extra blocker in the tight end position, his name was called more often during the game than Pro Bowl receiver DeAndre Hopkins.

"You run two-man routes against me and Aqib, that's not really what you want to try to do the whole game," Harris said. "We knew if it was Brock and we take away his first option, he gets kind of jittery."

There were few documented instances of acrimony between Osweiler and his old teammates. This was about as rambunctious as it got: After a safety blitz on a third down that ended another Houston drive with a whimper, Oz did get in the face of Ward. But trash talk? C'mon now. Osweiler makes love, not war.

The Broncos started slowly. Because like, you know, like that's what they do. After Denver picked up only a single first down in the first quarter, C.J. Anderson capped a 10-play drive with a 7-yard touchdown run at 9 minutes, 10 seconds before halftime to give the Broncos a 7-6 advantage. Duly note that time on the scoreboard clock, because it was the first time in 22 days that Denver owned a lead in an NFL game.

When Trevor Siemian has a rushing attack and an elite receiver, he can move the Broncos down the field. Running backs Devontae Booker and Anderson averaged a robust 5.8 yards on 33 smash-mouth carries. Even more encouraging, wide receiver Demaryius Thomas returned from whatever planet he had been on, breaking out his funk with a touchdown reception.

After two consecutive losses, Osweiler is exactly what the Broncos needed. "It was huge to get that momentum, to get that feeling back in here, that confidence we've been running with and playing with," said Ward, standing in a Denver locker room rocking with laughter. "After the two losses, you could kind of feel the aura of the team going down."

On this Monday night, Osweiler acted like he never wanted to be here. He folded like a cheap pizza box.

And doesn't that pretty much explain why it was a blessing Osweiler left Denver in the first place?

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