Monday, June 28, 2004

It's A Beautiful Bouncing Product Placement

As I'm sure most of you now know, right now, in America, three babies are named ESPN (pronounced Espen). One couple even plans on naming their second child ESPN 2 (pronounced, I believe, as Espen Douche).

As a result, ESPN plans on filming a documentary about these tykes, because if there's one thing ESPN fans love, its watching semi-retarded parents clean a dirty diaper.

The more I think about it, the more I like the idea. Yeah, that's it, naming my baby after things I'm a fan of!

My first child will be called "Babaganoush", followed by "Snackwells", "Camel Ultra Lights", and my beautiful little girl, "Abortion."

Seriously, though, I will be happy to name my child "CBS". All it's gonna take is for Les Moonves to drop that slut Julie Chen, pick up a phone, and make it happen.