4.24.2012

corkscrew

Not blogging has given me a lot of time to think.

I've done so much unwritten thinking and over-thinking, around and around, that my thoughts put me underground or underwater or something. When you spiral around like that you can only go down. Tighter and smaller and lower.

I have a computer. I have my own computer now. After a few months without one.

I feel like the windows are open. I feel like the phone is ringing, but in a good way.

Hello, hi, how ARE you?

(My friend Emily told me to just write something already and I did, for her, and this is what came out. Thank you Emily. I probably would have gone another miserable week or so if not for you.)

Hi! I've been following your blog for a while after I stumbled upon it (I can't remember how). I love reading your blog and hearing about your life and cute kids. I think your writing is amazing! Welcome back.

i feel like blogging is kind of like being on a treadmill. you're on and sometimes you're huffing and puffing and if you're lucky you get into a good groove, you find your stride. and it sticks for a while. and everything is good and gravy.

you hop off or you fall off? forget about it. the treadmill DOES NOT STOP.

i'm right here with you girl, watching the treadmill belt spin wildly, round and round, attempting to jump on but all i can do is picture myself falling down like a big sloppy bag of bones and coming to a messy stop. Ouch.

hula said something wonderful to me the other day, totally hit home:

"sometimes I am so profoundly inspired by everyone and everything around me and then sometimes it just makes me feel horrible, completely inadequate and 100 times worse. I’ve been working on a post for a while called ‘the internet never stops and sometimes I don’t know what I’m doing here’. it’s a big mess of thoughts right now but it addresses this very issue– the unending, deafening noise of the internet. it can be the best thing in the world. or the absolute worst."

Ain't it the truth?

Alice is beautiful. She and Dotty would have SUCH a time together, this is totally Dotty's favorite thing right now: wands and poofy skirts and twirlyness.

And you were missed! You know that you were missed, right? Giant hug, friend.

so glad to hear from you! Oh my...can I please wear that same exact outfit to work someday? They'd know for sure I was loony then :)but- it's just a GREAT outfit! Sigh...how come at 42 it would be frowned upon?SIGH...childhood is great...wish I had known that then! :)M