At 7-9, the Miami Dolphins were good enough to finish second in the AFC East this season, which is a remarkable improvement over last season’s record of 6-10 and the previous two seasons of… 7-9. But the difference between those other seasons and this season is that 2012 was a “rebuilding year” for the Dolphins. Yeah, those other teams… they were apparently built. And owner Stephen Ross recently re-emphasized the fact that this was a rebuilding year for the Dolphins, because he wants everyone to know that he and Pit Bull and J-Lo and Marc Anthony and Serena Williams believe the future is now.

“The two biggest ingredients in a winning team are your coach – and I think we have our head coach – and second is a quarterback you can build around,” Ross said. “This is a quarterback-centric league, and you see every great team that is there consistently has a quarterback. I think we have our quarterback. Once you are there, it is a lot easier, I think, to put the building blocks around them.” (Via PFT)

But what about the GM position, Steve? Are you really sold on Jeff Ireland after four consecutive losing seasons? Wait, I’m sorry. I meant three consecutive losing seasons and a rebuilding year.

Crediting Ireland’s “football intelligence,” “hard work,” “respect of his peers” and “enthusiasm,” Ross said his polarizing personnel chief has laid out a plan to meet the owner’s singular goal in 2013: Win.

“I believe they have the talent to deliver day-in and day-out,” Ross said of his front office. “I would like to think next year we’re going to be in the playoffs, and winning.” (Via the Miami Herald)

Relevant.

Now I know what you’re going to say – the Dolphins don’t have the offensive tools to make the playoffs in the AFC against dominant offenses like the New England Patriots, Denver Broncos and Houston Texans, among others. Ross, though, is ready to spend and Miami will have $47 million available to build Ross’ playoff team.

“I want to build a winning team. … I’m willing to spend whatever it takes to build it. If the right players are there, I don’t care what it costs,” Ross said. “We’ll go after them.”

Among the primary free agent options is Packers receiver Greg Jennings, whose sister believes that he deserves to be paid handsomely for his injuries while playing with a real QB. Not like that bum, Aaron Rodgers.

The best part about the Dolphins sucking is that they didn’t play that stupid (they all suck) Jimmy Buffet song as much because they only play it when the dolphins score TDs at *insert corporate name here* Stadium.

I would pay good $ to watch Brady or Peyton play behind that bullshit line in Green Bay. Valyncia is aware that Rodgers led the NFL in QB rating despite playing most of the year w/o her useless, fantasy torpedoing dipshit brother.

Real talk: If you’re a fan of the Miami Dolphins and you have to hear this shit every single fucking year, are you allowed to switch teams? Can they even be considered a franchise anymore? Or do the Dolphins fans have to wait until they get relocated to LA?

I say you can switch, however, there will be a moratorium on defensive butthurt komments involving your new team for five years. The new team cannot have had an above 0.500 record in the year you switch (to avoid front-runnin’ assholes). Areola can be shown, but not full on nipples, however nipples are allowed to be visible through wet or naturally translucent materials.