Guys, do you see what happens when you don’t pay enough attention to Brandi Glanville? She gets desperate and feels the need to “announce” her “sexuality” – which, by the way, can probably be simmered down to “vaguely bisexual and/or willing to have sex with women if it makes the man she’s sleeping with happy”. But here, let’s let her use her own words in an interview with Huffington Post Live and on her blog.

First, the blog entry:

As I have said before, I love beautiful women, and Carlton is one of them. However neither one of us are lesbians. I have actually tried to be, but it just didn’t work out for me. I can’t speak to Carlton’s experiences, because I honestly have no idea what they have been. As you can tell, I am easily distracted by lingerie. In fact, I’m quite obsessed with it and all other things sexy and girly. Carlton’s body looks like it is zero percent body fat, and she is fun, playful, and non-judgmental.

Just FYI, she’s referring to Carlton Gebbia, a fellow Bravo star. Now, more on HuffPo:

Glanville, who is quoted as saying that she “tried to be” a lesbian at one point in her life, told host Ricky Camilleri, “I’ve been with women, usually there’s a man involved … I have a couple times been with women where it was just us.”

Noting that she loves “beautiful people,” Glanville then clarified, “I’m not a lesbian and I’m not straight.”

She did say that her love of threesomes had drawn a number of disillusioned male suitors.

“That’s not something that you plan for,” she said. “I feel like it has to be organic.”

Well, that’s… special. You can actually watch video of this nonsense on the source site, but basically all of this is because no one gives a shit about Brandi Glanville and if there’s one way to get yourself some press, it’s to claim you like to sleep with women – only sometimes, though, and only under certain conditions.

Can we all just open this piece by stating the obvious: Brandi Glanville is batshit crazy and probably is a questionable-quality mother to her two sons from her marriage to Eddie Cibrian, 11-year-old Mason and 7-year-old Jake (not that Eddie and LeAnn Rimes are any better). Most recent case in point? Referring to Jake as an “asshole” and a “dick” on her podcast, Brandi Glanville Unfiltered. Oops?

Of course, Brandi isn’t one to examine the error of her ways – she’d rather just defend the bullshit that comes out of her mouth as totally rational. Like, say, remember when she “joked” that she wished she had been molested as a kid? Or when she made a racist remark to a black woman, which cost her a job? Like, OMG guys, just lighten up!

I joke about my kids &dogs being assholes sometimes cuz honestly the can be but I love them more then life!!people that know me know that!

In a way, I get it – she’s got a case of the Kate Gosselins. Kids are bastards and utter pains in the ass 95% of the time. They’re loud, they’re dirty, they’re disgustingly unhygienic, they mouth off, they take all your money, etc. And I’m sure Brandi wouldn’t let anyone ELSE talk about her kids like that, so she’s kinda just telling the truth. But is the place to do that really on a public podcast? It just seems in such poor taste. But then, look who we’re talking about!

I dunno, guys, what do you think? Should everyone lighten up? Should she have made a “joke” like this?

Why on earth anyone would ever want a piece of Eddie Cibrian is beyond me, but I suppose old habits die hard. We all know Brandi Glanville lost her damn mind after Eddie cheated on her/left her for LeAnn Rimes. She charged her vaginal rejuvination to his credit card, hit the plastic surgeon again, “wrote” a book and started spouting serious fuckery left and right on social media and to anyone else who would listen to her. It’s been… a journey (and LeAnn is no better, clearly).

Anyway, Brandi’s latest revelation is that Eddie apparently still wants her and that LeAnn is nothing more than a “backup plan”. Oh, girl, no – grow a clue and some dignity, because this is not a good look. Even if you want to indulge in some insanity in your private life to make yourself feel better about how things have turned out, you don’t put it on Twitter!

He's my EX- so do I really want him or am I ok with him telling Me how much he LUUUVS ME but is gonna chill with his "backupplan"#nothot

You know, I sorta feel bad for Brandi Glanville. Not only did she get cheated on and have her marriage fall apart, but she also just CANNOT GET OVER IT. Despite roughly five years having passed since all of this went down, and everyone else (sorta) moving on, Brandi continues to talk about Eddie Cibrian and their marriage, how things used to be, all the stuff they did, everything he’s doing now, how his relationship is with current wife LeAnn Rimes, etc. It’s exhausting. If even LeAnn Rimes is starting to look classy in comparison, you know you in danger, girl.

So here’s the deal: Brandi went on Twitter on Tuesday (of course she did) claiming that she’s shit talking Eddie in her new book because he’s been begging her for child support so it’s all justified, not lies. Sure, he’s got a big house and what would seem like plenty of money (despite the fact that he and LeAnn have done absolutely nothing to keep any kind of income coming in), but apparently he can’t pay for their kids.

Im not taking cheap shots at my ex in my new book cuz its all true,&now mr fancy new cars&house man is asking ME for child support!Uknownada

Is there any truth to it? Eddie’s camp says no, and issued the following statement to People:

“There is no truth to the claims that Eddie has requested child support from Brandi now, nor will he ever request child support from his ex-wife. The notion is preposterous. This is yet another ploy for self-promotion.”

That seems about right to me, but a “source” (i.e. Brandi with a different gmail address and/or a voice changer) told the magazine the following:

“Now that Brandi is making money and is successful, Eddie is backtracking on a prior agreement they had regarding child support payments. He’s asking for money back from her, over $100,000, saying he overpaid. But he’s asking for more than he’s paid her in the first place!”

Brandi Glanville lost a hosting gig at the glamorous Hard Rock Hotel in Tampa because of a controversial remark she made to co-star Joyce Giraud. Some are calling her racist for what she said. So what did she say? Here’s the story, via Daily News:

“Yes, I’m black,” Giraud responded. “What’s your problem? Puerto Ricans are black, they’re Indian and they’re Spanish. So I am a mix of three cultures and I’m very proud to represent all three.”

“It was a joke and my black friends would’ve laughed like crazy, because they don’t go in the pool because they will get their weave f–ked up,” Glanville said.

Glanville later apologized on Watch What Happens Live! “I know what I said was definitely inappropriate, but I say a lot of inappropriate things. I’m not racist, I’m just inappropriate 90% of the time!” Glanville insisted.

Oh, man, terrible apology, Ms. Glanville. Terrible. According to Radar Online, the company that hired her for the hosting gig is pulling out, saying,

As a company who prides itself on its core values of ‘Love All, Serve All,’ SHRHC has decided to proceed with the planned party without Ms. Glanville’s appearance due to recent developments that include remarks towards African-Americans made by Ms. Glanville on her hit Bravo TV show ‘Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.’

So what do you guys think? Was her comment racist or just stupid, or a combination of both?

Perhaps this won’t be all that surprising given the supreme level of absolute shit that gets put on TV, but word on the street is that Brandi Glanville may be getting her own spinoff reality show centering around her dating life. She’s about the film the pilot and if it’s bought (let’s be honest: Bravo will buy anything), then that’s it. Ugh, everything’s the worst.

“Brandi will be taping a pilot for Bravo and it’s for her own spin-off show,” a source close to the situation told Radar.

“She was kind of shocked when the idea was brought up, but now she’s really excited about it. Putting your dating life on TV for the world to see is never easy, but Brandi’s never backed down from a challenge.”

According to the insider, both Brandi and Bravo aren’t exactly sure where the what the show will end up looking like, but they’re confident it will be reality TV gold.

“You never know with Brandi. So you can have an angle for a show but how it plays out may be a very different thing,” the source said.

“She’s ready to jump back into the dating scene and it will be interesting to see what kind of men can actually handle her!”

Well, that pretty much sounds like the worst show ever. Still, I’d expect this to be coming to your screens by September at latest. We need a new weekly dose of desperation.