Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

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In every analysis of the Republican Party and the dotard that leads them, the statistics say that their numbers are going down. Since the act of swearing in Orange Foolius in January, his overall approval has fallen in ALL 50 STATES, including those that he won in the November election handily (in Alabama, his approval has fallen 11%). Much of this is driven by the departure of independent and “swing” voters who migrate between the two parties, but there is also some eroding of support from those who align with the GOP, especially rural whites that haven’t seen the “winning” they were hoping for.

These numbers are noticed by those who bear the brunt of the idiot’s ravings, the Congress and state officials, whose ratings have cratered. Battered by the continued quagmire that Congress is – even though they have majorities in both bodies – these members of the GOP (in one of the most ridiculous statements that exist in the human vernacular) aren’t viewed as “conservative enough” and face backlash from the electorate. With this in mind, two of the stalwarts of the Republican Party in the Senate have chosen to resign rather than risk being rejected in the upcoming 2018 elections.

Last week, former President George Bush (II) blistered the current administration with a speech that called into question not only his abilities but the methods of leadership (nationalism) that Orange Foolius was trying to inflict on the country. Earlier this week, Tennessee Senator Bob Corker opened the exodus from the Senate by stating that he would not seek reelection in 2018. Then, in a stunning speech on the floor of the Senate where he stated that Orange Foolius was “debasing the nation,” Arizona Senator Jeff Flake also indicated that he would not seek reelection in what was expected to be a bruising fight (Corker did not face much threat of being “primaried”).

Add in the current maverick streak from the senior Senator from Arizona, John McCain, and the nuanced and thought out positions of Maine Senator Susan Collins (also considering leaving the Senate), Alaska Senator Lisa Murkowski, Kentucky Senator Rand Paul (continuing the family tradition of being “Dr. No”) and Nebraska Senator Ben Sasse, you might believe that there is an uprising in the GOP that would pitch this jackass out on his plump ass along with the Confederacy of Dunces he has convened. For me, however, give me a call when someone in the GOP with something to lose actually speaks up against the fool that they say is their “leader.”

There’s a base statement that people must keep in mind whenever you hear someone speaking out against a particular subject. For lack of a better way to put it, the old gambling axiom of “What skin do you have in the game?” is precisely the thing to remember.

“Skin,” for those that aren’t up on that vernacular, is to have something at risk, usually something that is of a loss (sometimes significant) to you. In the gambling world, that usually entails some monetary wager. In this circumstance, however, it would mean having to put something on the line that would be greater than any monetary wager could ever be.

In the case of Flake, there was already plenty of evidence that he was going to have a very difficult time in getting through the GOP primary, let alone trying to beat a Democratic challenger and a revved-up opposition in a state that is supposedly shifting to the left. Flake also had previously spoken out against the current administration in the same passive aggressive manner in a book he had written, Conscience of a Conservative, which basically aired his grievances with Orange Foolius’ administration without mentioning him by name.

Corker, when he was first elected in 2006, said he would only serve two terms as a Senator, apparently employing the philosophy that if two terms was good for the President, it was good enough for a Senator. But there are other things that might be more appealing for the popular Tennessean, including a run at the Governorship in the Volunteer State. He also hasn’t ruled out being involved in government (on the state or national level) again in the future.

McCain’s story is well known by now. The veteran Senator, elected to his sixth term as the senior Senator from the Grand Canyon State just last year, was diagnosed earlier this year with a terminal brain tumor called a glioblastoma. Once diagnosed with the condition, patients have a usual life expectancy of 14 months, so it is obvious that, unless there are some Area 51-type secrets floating around Washington D. C., that McCain will not likely end his current term as Senator.

Although these three men (and we’ll get to Murkowski, Collins and Sasse in a moment) have served admirably for the past 12 years minimum, they have helped to create the issues that currently plague our nation. Corker was on the short list for the #2 seat on the GOP ticket with the Tangerine Nightmare and was one of the first legislators in D. C. to support him and his candidacy (the other, the Keebler Elf Jeff Sessions, received a cozy Attorney General appointment for licking his master’s boots). And other than his dramatic, Caesar-esque “thumbs down” vote on trashing the Affordable Care Act (the ACA or, to the simple minded, ObamaCare) this summer, McCain has supported the extreme rightward jerk of the GOP, especially after his drubbing by Bush II (and the neocons trashing of his reputation by insinuating he had an illegitimate black daughter) in 2000 and the resulting realization that he had to change or be steamrolled.

Normally when you’ve completely fucked something up, you’re expected to stick around and fix it (often called the “Pottery Barn Rule” and made popular by then-Secretary of State Colin Powell in 2002 to Bush II prior to invading Iraq). But these three men are doing the exact opposite. Instead of trying to stick around and cure the ills that their previous actions have brought, they are supposedly going to be “liberated” by being able to vote their conscience (but note they didn’t say “oppose the current President and his actions”).

If you can name someone else who might actually tell Orange Foolius to go screw himself, I’m all ears. Right now, the GOP is like the person they elected, a flaccid chihuahua that has been defanged and declawed. While Murkowski and Collins (who was rumored to be potentially running for the governor of Maine until she shot that down earlier this month) have been a thorn in the side of Orange Foolius since he took office, they haven’t exactly been rabid opponents of the person WHO LEADS THEIR PARTY. With the right arm twisting, they could probably be coerced into the madness (note how, during the debate on the ACA, that both Maine and Alaska were targeted for “extra money” to try to sway the two Senators).

Some might say Sasse has the potential to be that Republican who can lead the party out of its nihilistic nationalism, but he is a first-term Senator that, should Breitbart editor Steve Bannon still be the Crypt Keeper when he comes around for re-election in 2020, will face one of his minions. Additionally, there’s just enough mystery about Sasse to still say he’s your typical, “screw you, I got mine” Republican who doesn’t look beyond anything but the party line (in 2016, he voted against the Comprehensive Addiction and Recovery Act, which would have given states block grants to fight opioid abuse and fund recovery programs).

Paul, who has gone over to the Dark Side in disavowing his libertarian roots in favor of staying in power in D. C. as a Republican (guess who is a frequent golf partner for the Hacker-in-Chief?), has no desire to buck the current administration. If he can get a few concessions that demonstrate he trying to castrate the current federal system, then he can claim his Ayn Rand fantasies are being implemented and still be admired by those who would rather watch Rome burn than build it up.

Absolutely nobody who has spoken out from the GOP has any “skin” in the game. Not one of these people previously mentioned has put their Congressional seat on the line, their reputation, or their years in what was once a party that championed business, trade and was anti-Communist (now it is isolationist, crapping its panties and dreaming of a fascist to save their totalitarian day). And there isn’t anyone currently among the crop of cephalopods – including the tortoise Mitch McConnell nor Paul “Eddie Munster” Ryan – who is showing any ability to step up and tell this administration “Enough,” as Flake lamely did in his Senate speech, especially elected officials like this.

It is time that someone – hell, a massive number of someones – assumed the role of an adult in the Republican Party as a whole and Congress for a start and looked to change things. There is something that Flake said that was spot on: “Regret because of the coarseness of our leadership…Regret for the compromise of our moral authority, and by our, I mean all of our complicity in this alarming and dangerous state of affairs. It is time for our complicity and our accommodation of the unacceptable to end.” It is time that the “adults” in the GOP revolt against the odiferous emanations that emit from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue like rancid flesh at a slaughterhouse. Or is it already too late for the party to be saved from the transformation into a fascist organization under the leadership of Bannon and his ilk?

Many moons ago, I defended this country as a United States Marine. It is, other than my wife and my son, one of the things that I’m most proud of and, surprisingly, I did it right. After a four-year stint with Uncle Sam’s Misguided Children, I’ve got the official documentation and diploma that says I was honorably discharged for my service to the country.

Thus, this last weekend – hell, the last 25 years or so, but that’s a discussion for another time – was quite angering for a military veteran. The actions by the SCROTUS, Orange Foolius, and his ill-advised and quite ignorant commentary on the National Football League and, in particular, players who protest the indignities foisted on minorities by law enforcement personnel, last Thursday night lit a firestorm with people. In those comments in front of a group of knuckle-dragging Neanderthals in Alabama, the buffoon in chief whined about how football wasn’t a “real game” anymore because of the concern over head injuries that the players might suffer (let’s just forget the factor of the debilitating effects of CTE). Then he launched off into a topic that, until he brought it back, had pretty much died out.

“Wouldn’t you love to see one of these NFL owners,” Orange Foolius blubbered to the slobbering masses, “when somebody disrespects our flag, to say, ‘Get that son of a bitch (and it wouldn’t surprise me if he wanted to go off on the tangent the Pennsylvania fire chief went on in describing Pittsburgh Steelers coach Mike Tomlin) off the field right now. Out! He’s fired. He’s fired!’”

Of course, the diatribe was in response to quarterback Colin Kaepernick’s 2016 season-long protest of police brutality and minority oppression by kneeling on the sidelines during the National Anthem. Don’t let the mere fact get in the way that it has since cost Kaepernick his position with the San Francisco 49ers, his team at the time, or the blackballing that has resulted from the other GMs in the league from his peaceful protest. In fact, other than a handful of players in the NFL (Seattle Seahawks defensive lineman Michael Bennett most notably, who had a run-in with Las Vegas police that ended in a rather acrimonious situation), Kaepernick’s attempts to bring attention to the continued travesty that occurs far too often had pretty much been brushed under the rug.

That was until the Tangerine Fool’s hacking of red meat to feed to a bunch of rubes.

After Herr Twitler finished his hissy fit, the entirety of the NFL spoke up as one voice. Instead of a couple of players, more than 250 took a knee. Roger Goodell, the Commissioner of the NFL, issued a blistering renouncement of Orange Foolius’ statements and entire teams, who would rather piss on the ground that Goodell stands on than join with him, linked together in a show of solidarity against the stupidity of the jackass in chief and him slobbering minions. This included the Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones and New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft (both donated to the presidential cause of the SCROTUS…wonder if they’re regretting that now).

These protests will continue probably for the remainder of the season, especially since this imbecile and his lobotomy-ravaged sycophants have tried to steal the concept of the protest, trying to make it about the “flag” and “the Anthem” and “the troops” instead of what it was about…the injustices facing minorities in this country, especially at the hands of law enforcement personnel. Be on the lookout for similar protests to begin in the National Basketball Association also.

Kaepernick’s protest was never about the military, nor the flag, nor even the Anthem. So why did he choose his moment last year to make his stand? Because every other means of protest had been taken from the people. Remember those idiots who said they would drive their vehicles into marchers in the street (they thought it was a great idea until a Nazi decided to do it and GOP legislators STILL want to reduce liability for drivers)? So, people don’t like marchers. Well, what about occupying an area and sitting or kneeling? Nope, that offends people too, unless you’re white, armed to the teeth and screaming about how “the gubment” is stealing your land…then you get acquitted. Kaepernick chose the least offensive way to go about making his protest (and, for those of you who say, ‘Why don’t he use his money to make his voice heard’…he has, to the tune of $1 million at the minimum) and it is one that the military men and women of this country should support wholeheartedly.

The military – the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, and National Guard – is 37% minority. That the dotard in the White House chose to go after minority football and basketball players (yes, we didn’t even touch on the Steph Curry and Golden State Warriors “visit” to the White House, but I’ve got to leave you some legwork to learning) is a damning sign when he doesn’t call out white supremacists, racists, or religious zealots (his very own “spiritual advisor,” the “Reverend” Robert Jeffress of the First Baptist Church of Dallas, suggested that football players should be thankful that nobody has “shot them in the head”) for their bullshit.

Beyond the racial factor, the military and its fighting men and women do not defend a flag. Those airmen and women, soldiers, sailors, and Marines do not defend a ditty written by a racist as he stood passively by in a boat, scribbling his screed, while watching those said defenders of the country die at the hands of British ships bombing the hell out of Fort McHenry during the War of 1812. The men and women of the Armed Forces – be they active duty or reservist – defend the people of a country, ALL people, whether they are white, black, brown, red or polka-dotted.

They defend the Constitution, the law of the land, and ALL that the document entails. They defend the Bill of Rights and the 27 Amendments that have been made to the Constitution over the past 240 years. That means, when it comes to the question of the “methods of protest” employed by one group or another, they stand for it, even if they don’t agree with it. As a Marine veteran, I support the right of protest. It is one of the many rights that citizens are granted and that I defended for them and for this country. Freedom of speech is arguably (I personally think there’s not an argument) one of the greatest rights we have, the ability to speak out against the government, its politicians, and its institutions. And yes, sometimes that freedom of speech can be used in areas that make you uncomfortable or you dislike. Allowing such speech is the true test of the freedom.

I recall when I was growing up in Illinois there was a small town near Chicago called Skokie, a predominantly Jewish and Polish enclave. There was a band of Illinois Nazis (you wonder where that line “I hate Illinois Nazis” in The Blues Brothers comes from?) that petitioned for the right to march through the villa. After several legal attempts to stop the march were denied – on the RIGHT OF FREEDOM OF SPEECH – the Illinois Nazis marched and people peacefully protested it. Such raconteurs as Ann Coulter and Milo Yiannopoulos also have that same right to be heard; so does comedian Bill Maher, who sometimes takes angles on freedom that people don’t agree with.

Freedom of speech is exactly that…you have the freedom to express your ideas. Now, there is also that right to PEACEFULLY protest on the other side and there are also the consequences of the freedom of speech. If you are willing to accept the consequences of what your freedom of speech might entail – as Colin Kaepernick has been – then your freedom to do it is guaranteed.

The National Anthem is just a song. No military person is defending a song. Likewise, the same could be said about the flag. It is presented as a symbol of the country, not something to be worshipped on the altar of a god. If you are disturbed by someone who is making a peaceful protest by simply kneeling on the ground but you accept something like this…

Then you are the one with a problem. And if you accept that – or accept a supposed leader in the SCROTUS who thinks that white Nazis are “good people” while calling minority athletes “sons of bitches” – then we can see where the problems in this country lie. And it goes beyond someone kneeling in silence to protest.

The information out of Charlottesville, Virginia is about as sickening as it can get. While they can gather for protest, a group of white supremacists, Neo-Nazi groups, Ku Klux Klan hoodsmen and “alt-right” practitioners met for a protest in the city regarding the removal of a statue of former Confederate general Robert E. Lee, bearing torches and chanting such things as “Fuck you, faggot,” and throwing the Nazi salute at anyone who it seemed to apply to. On Saturday, met by a counter-protest of…well, pretty much the entirety of the human race…the protests turned violent to the point of death.

In a gruesome video, an “alt-right” member, like an ISIS terrorist, allegedly drove his personal vehicle into a group of counter-protestors, killing one of them and injuring 19 others. The alleged perpetrator’s MOTHER knew he was going to the rally, saying she “didn’t get into his politics.” Two Virginia State Troopers were killed when a helicopter they were riding in that was responding to the protest was brought down. That’s right, three people killed by the scum of society.

For his part, Orange Foolius looked to be the ultimate fool in trying to maintain his courtship of these Neanderthal bastards when issuing his first statement on the subject. “We condemn the…hatred, bigotry and violence on many sides.” MANY SIDES? Last I checked, you orange hued shitgibbon, it was an ALT-RIGHT member driving his car into protesters – like many suggested during Black Lives Matter protests over the last couple of years – not any of the counter-protestors. If you are trying to court a racist, fascist base that makes up “your people,” YOU ARE NOT FIT TO BE PRESIDENT. Even his own party members were castigating him for his attempt to mollify the Nazis, the racists and the “alt-right” who WERE the instigators.

But we cannot put the entire cause on this imbecilic child’s tiny hands. He WAS the catalyst, but the pot was brewing previously; he just gave it a method of release.

When Barack Obama was elected in 2008, there were literally millions who were aghast that a BLACK MAN could become the President of the United States. The numbers show in any research you would like to do. No matter what you might call them – “militia” groups, “Patriot” organizations, “Tea Party” members (in fact, many hid behind the “Tea Party” façade rather than admit what they were – white nationalists) – their numbers increased after a black man had the audacity to be elected President. “Militia” groups – basically fat fucks playing soldier for a perceived Armageddon that will never occur – went from 42 in 2008, peaked at 334 in 2011 and was down to 276 by 2015.

The purpose of these groups was to facilitate the anger, the hatred, of people that were different from them. Whether they were blacks, immigrants, Muslims or Asians, the hate was equally spread. And facilitate it they did – fed by the vitriolic gruel from Fox News, Breitbart, and more closely related outlets such as the Daily Stormer and the website Stormfront (which will not be linked to here). And they had eight years – eight LONG years – for that hatred to metastasize; all it needed was something to release it.

Orange Foolius saw that hatred – hell, many believe he participates in it willingly (and if lawsuits are any indication, he seems to have something against minorities of ANY type) – and fed into it every moment of his scumbag campaign. He worked CLOSELY with a white nationalist/now Presidential advisor Steve Bannon, who used Breitbart to espouse his hatred of Jews and blacks. He put a damn white supremacist, Steve Miller (who was a college friend of the “alt-right’s” Richard Spencer), in as his SPEECHWRITER. And this doesn’t even touch his Attorney General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions, who was once deemed “racist enough” that he was UNWORTHY OF A FEDERAL JUDGSHIP!

Orange Foolius knew these would be the ones who pushed him over the top, would be the “silent” part of his support that wouldn’t be counted by the “normal” people. Thus, he tapped into the anger, tossed gasoline on the fire with his fascist, racist rhetoric. Add in his further xenophobia, misogyny, and utter idiocy on any subject that might call for a nuanced thought, and he cemented their vote.

But now that they have their “Dear Leader,” they feel they can come out of the cesspool they lived in and try to “Make America Great Again” by taking it back to a period of hatred that was one of the worst in not just American history but in human history. Orange Foolius doesn’t know and probably doesn’t care what these scumbags do because “hey, he’s the President!”

For those of you that support the orange fool who embarrasses this nation every goddamn minute, you need to take a good, long look in the mirror. If you signed on for this, for YOUR PEOPLE, your fellow supporters, to “take back the country” in this manner, then you have a serious mental issue. If you didn’t sign on for this, then you still must stare into that abyss that is your soul and find what point is too much to take for your support to continue, for you to pledge blind obedience to “Dear Leader.” The problem is that you don’t have long; the situation isn’t going to get any better, it’s going to continue to get worse (oh, but YOU got the guns, right? That’s an embarrassing statement to even consider.).

No, the shitgibbon in the White House didn’t cause what occurred in Virginia on Saturday. But he certainly was the catalyst for its launch because of his giving voice to those who previously were viewed correctly, as the scum of society. Now those that say they “support” the jackass at the head of the Neo-Nazis, “alt-right” and white supremacists must figure out just how far their support should go.

While much of the world has been casting their eyes towards Orange Foolius and the latest adventures of his Confederacy of Dunces, the Congress has tried to inch forward quietly with legislation that would hammer virtually everyone in the States of America who earns less than $1 million a year. You don’t believe me? Let’s look at the ledger, shall we?

When looking at the current Administration or the GOP-led majorities in Congress, we’ve seen desperate attempts to either destroy the legacy of Orange’s predecessor, Barack Obama, or simply the cruelty of the GOP looking to enact their draconian ideas. Of most importance has been what many call the signature legislation of the Obama Administration, the Affordable Care Act (or “ObamaCare” to simpletons), which allowed for millions to have insurance they previously didn’t have before and others to have arguably better insurance. This has been one comedy of errors after another since the GOP has tried to run the ball.

First were the attempts by Speaker of the House Paul Ryan to gather his cats (fellow GOP members of the House of Representatives) and push a bill that, instead of helping people, would have cast 24 million people out of health insurance (and let’s make a BIG distinction here…we are talking health insurance, not health care…they are two different things, one paying for a product and the other the product provided, which is pretty good because of the quality doctors we have in this country). In their infinite wisdom, Ryan and his gaggle of GOP gangsters would have made sure that any money saved from the changes (approximately $337 billion over 10 years) went to those who needed it most: wealthy millionaires who didn’t need the extra money.

That attempt initially failed – and rather spectacularly – because there was a faction of the GOP, the House Freedom Caucus (about the most oxymoronic three words other than “little big man”), that felt the new legislation, known as the American Health Care Act, didn’t go far enough in eradicating the ACA. After getting over the embarrassment of not even being able to bring the legislation to the floor, Ryan twisted some arms and rejiggered some numbers a couple months later (“HEY! LOOK! We brought the uninsured down to 23 million!”) and was able to cajole enough people to pass the House version of the AHCA, to much fanfare at the White House and the public blessing of Orange Foolius.

That House bill, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said, was DOA when it reached his chamber. The GOP Senators were going to “begin from nothing” and come up with their own piece of legislation, Yertle said, and it would look far different than what had been proposed by the House GOP. Even the Orange One seemed to be on board with McConnell’s efforts, remarking how the House version was “mean” and for the Senate to come up with “more money” to make it kinder. Instead, McConnell – ensconced in a secret location that even members of the GOP not working on the health insurance plan had no access to, let alone Democratic members of the Senate – looked into his cauldron and pulled out of the ooze…virtually the same plan that the House had put up, but with NEW rejiggered numbers that brought the uninsured count down to “only” 22 million people.

At this moment, the Senate health insurance plan is about as popular as a herpes-infested whorehouse. After the full CBO breakdown was revealed, GOP Senators like Dean Heller of Nevada, Susan Collins of Maine and Rand Paul of Kentucky have said they cannot accept this bill (for differing reasons; Paul has said he doesn’t want “ObamaCare Light,” which is a fair argument at the minimum). This is critical because, in losing even three votes from his own GOP caucus, McConnell cannot move any legislation forward in a Senate broken down by a 52-48 margin.
While McConnell retreats into his shell to protect himself, here’s a suggestion: rather than destroy Obama’s signature legislation, how about looking for ways to fix it?

When it was enacted seven years ago (and seriously GOP…you couldn’t come up with anything over the term of the Obama Administration as a counter?), the ACA was an audacious stab at solving a complex problem that, in reality, is one that cannot fully be solved. Health insurance isn’t a requirement, like car insurance (which is also flouted by many, but I digress), and when people are initially forced into buying something – even if it helps them – there’s a great deal of reluctance. As time has passed, however, there are several areas of the ACA that have been tremendously good for people, such as the ability of those with pre-existing conditions to obtain affordable insurance and covering young people on a family’s plan up to the age of 26. Even with these good parts, however, it is obvious that there needed to be some tinkering with the ACA (such as having 80-year olds paying for pre-natal care – yes, I KNOW how insurance works…spreading the costs amongst a larger pool…but not everyone is that knowledgeable).

First off, instead of cutting funding off to the ACA and falsely saying “it’s collapsing” (as Orange Foolius is using his dinky digits to type out over Twitter), FUND THE DAMN THING. Let’s see what works and what doesn’t, what needs to be changed and what needs to be eliminated. It is only through complete funding (and, to be honest, the insurance companies need the stability to be able to set their costs) that the ACA can be fully and fairly judged.

Second, look at other options. I personally think – and have stated on many occasions – that it is time to enact “Medicaid for All.” Under this plan, the Medicaid program on the federal level would be expanded so EVERYONE has a base of insurance. Want to have a yearly checkup? You got it. How about a basic test for disease? No problem. Such a base of simple medical should NEVER be denied anyone simply because they can’t pay for it (and really – if you listen to the doctors – more serious conditions could be prevented if caught in basic medical care).

So, what about the insurance industry? Before you go weeping for them, we’ve got them covered. If people want to have “more” medical insurance – perhaps to cover Tiffany’s rhinoplasty or pay for Daddy’s Viagra so he can chase the secretary around the desk – then they can buy plans conceived by the insurance industry to cover a multitude of things. Businesses could use these expanded plans as a recruitment tool for bringing in prospective employees – people could factor those expanded insurance plans into their decisions as to where to work.

This solves many of the aspects of health insurance (remember, health care is already there and very good) that are under debate. People can take their base insurance Medicaid wherever they go, thus eliminating the issue of going across state borders and losing one’s insurance. If a person or a business wants or needs more coverage (for whatever reason), the insurance companies are there to give it. Costs? Without the crippling competition, medical costs would come down, although there would still have to be some work done on the pharmaceutical end of the spectrum (when you pay $2 for a pill in India and $800 for the same pill in the States, you’ve got a problem)…perhaps allow for LIMITED class act negotiation to get the best deals from pharmaceutical companies, either through the local Walgreens, an employer, or the government itself?

The Affordable Care Act does have its issues. But those issues need to be worked on, not discarded like a candy wrapper. Putting a new name on it doesn’t serve any purpose except to grandstand that “you repealed it” (hear that, GOP?). Fund the operation and see what needs to be fixed, don’t starve it and then claim it didn’t work. It’s time for some people to be adults about the issue and, since the toddler in the White House is unable to get about without messing his nappy, it’s high time Congress took the reins.

We have reached the penultimate battle of our tournament to determine who is the greatest hard rock/metal band of all time. Through the previous 62 contests, we’ve whittled down the competitors to the two veterans that we see here, Australia’s AC/DC versus the States of America’s Metallica. As they used to say on the series Highlander, however, there can be only one. Let’s get to it on that decision!

Just to remind you, there are criteria that we can take into consideration after breaking down the various parts of the band. First, the band/singer would have to have some sort of longevity to their career – you don’t see many bands or singers that are considered “legendary” if they were only around for a couple of albums (Amy Winehouse is a rare exception, but that’s a discussion for another time). Second, the band/singer would have to have an impact on the genre – did they do something particularly noteworthy or notorious that put them into the annals of the genre’s history, a song or “behavior” – that was historic. Third, just how popular were they when they were in existence – a band or singer that was wildly popular with the fans might get some leeway over a critical darling OR vice versa (depending on tastes). Fourth, what accolades did they receive – awards, gold records, and recognition by the industry (Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, hello?) are all under consideration here. Finally, was the band/singer influential on future generations of music – have they helped shape the genre since they have left the sphere?

Without further ado, let’s see who is going to take the crown!

Band Breakdown

There are four basic parts here – the vocalist, the guitar section, the rhythm section and miscellaneous. With the first, we look at AC/DC’s front men – the late Bon Scott and Brian Johnson (we will not include Guns ‘N Roses singer W. Axl Rose as he has not officially been added to the band) – and contrast them with Metallica’s face James Hetfield.

It is arguable that there are not two bands with more identifiable or iconic leaders as these three men. Could you imagine an AC/DC song without the readily recognizable sounds of Scott or Johnson drawing you in? Likewise, Hetfield – and, as a result, Metallica – are also known quantities immediately upon hearing Hetfield’s growl. To be honest, none of them are what you’d call great singers but, for the bands they front, they are the perfect fit. Therefore, we’ll have to call this part of the competition a tie.

With the guitarists, Hetfield returns to the equation as rhythm guitarist. Along with first lead guitarist Dave Mustaine and then Kirk Hammett, the power behind Metallica’s sound is undeniable with these two men. AC/DC isn’t lacking for strength themselves with the brother combo of Angus (lead) and Malcolm Young, but they come up just short in this match. The “three bars and a cloud of dust” attack of the Young brothers doesn’t quite measure up to the complexity of the chord progressions of Mustaine and Hammett, nor do they have the ability to play at a virtuoso level (as Hammett does) and include the speed. Thus, we’ve got to give this segment to Metallica.

Finally, there’s the rhythm section, the bass and drums. Cliff Williams (bass) and Phil Rudd (drums) were the longtime base for AC/DC and they did their jobs masterfully but unspectacularly. In basically creating Metallica – and still being the vocal (as in speaking) member of the band – Lars Ulrich (drums) has done something that hasn’t been previously seen, the drummer as a band leader. Along with the late Cliff Burton, Jason Newstead and now Robert Trujillo, Ulrich has been the backbone of the band and created his own distinct style of drumming. This segment goes to Metallica also, giving them the overall win in the segment.

Winner: Metallica

Longevity

This is one category that will split down the middle with no victor declared.

Since 1973, AC/DC has been pounding out their brand of music, with arguably the apex of their career coming in the late 1970 through the early 1990s. They still are playing today (and drawing arena sized crowds for their tours), although Malcolm Young, Johnson, Rudd, and Williams are no longer a part of the proceedings. Metallica has a slightly shorter career, having “only” been founded in 1981, but it isn’t sacrilege to say they may still be at the best of their game. Sure, the mid 1980s through the late 1990s may have been considered their heyday, but Metallica continues to pump out excellent music (Hardwired…to Self-Destructis arguably their best album since their …And Justice for All/Metallicadays) and they are currently on a stadium tour that is selling out across the States of America. With such performance as this, there’s no way that one is pulling out over the other.

Winner: Push

Influence on The Genre

This is one area where AC/DC could have the edge. Quite honestly, any hard rock/metal band that doesn’t say they were inspired by bands from the late 1960s/70s is being disingenuous. Such bands as Led Zeppelin, Deep Purple, Black Sabbath, and others were the ones who laid the foundation for those who came later like Metallica. There is one issue where Metallica might outpip AC/DC is their location on the “Mount Rushmore” of thrash metal alongside Megadeth, Slayer, and Anthrax. Still, we’ve got to give credit where credit is due: without AC/DC, there’s no Metallica.

Winner: AC/DC

Popularity

Another borderline call between two of the most loved bands in the world. You don’t stick around for three or four decades without having a devoted following that will literally follow you to the gates of Hell for a concert. Both bands have monster record sales – AC/DC has sold over 200 million albums worldwide (and 71 million in the States of America, more than Madonna and Mariah Carey) and Metallica has 100 million worldwide – and both bands have been lauded by the critics. Metallica has a bit of an edge on the critical acclaim, which only serves to offset the lead in record sales for the boys from Australia. I certainly hate doing this, but we’re going to have to call this one equal.

Winner: Push

Accolades

AC/DC has been nominated for seven Grammys and won once, while Metallica thrashes them in this category. Metallica has been nominated 21 times for Grammys, walking away with nine. Where AC/DC holds the edge is in platinum albums; 20 of their albums has gone platinum (one million sales) and the legendary Back in Blackis a double diamond holder (10 million sales, twice). Metallica can vouch for their own double diamond record (Metallica), but they’ve only had 10 platinum albums because that’s all they’ve released.

They are both in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, but under highly different circumstances. Metallica was a first ballot entry when they were inducted in 2009 (an artist or band becomes eligible for induction into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame on the 25th anniversary of their first official album release) with everyone but Mustaine named on the induction plaque (Metallica wanted Mustaine to perform with them during the induction ceremonies, but Mustaine was touring in Europe with Megadeth at the time). AC/DC took a bit longer to get into the Hall, with their induction in 2003 coming almost 30 years after their debut. It’s a close battle, but the edge here must go:

Winner: Metallica

So, Who Is the Champion?

By the slimmest of margins, Metallica captures the metal ring from AC/DC, earning the accolades of the greatest hard rock/metal band of all time. Individual tastes may vary on this decision, but overall there is a great deal of musicianship, innovation, and musical and lyrical substance to Metallica’s body of work. That isn’t saying that AC/DC’s brand of metal is something to deride; they have blazed their own trail in a very difficult industry and, as an international act from Australia, probably had some more issues to overcome in their early days. For this competition, however, it is the boys from San Francisco – Metallica – ruling supreme in the history of the genre.

Rather than delve into the delusion that currently is supposed to oversee this country (and trust me, there’s plenty to call the Tangerine Ignoramus out on simply from this last week alone, such as his rewriting of the history of the Civil War, not only in interviews but on his own fucking golf course), I’ve decided to do something that will be much more fun. Since college basketball completed the NCAA Basketball Championship in April, I thought it would be fun to do the same but in a different arena – the genre of hard rock/metal music.

What are the criteria for consideration? First, the band/singer would have to have some sort of longevity to their career – you don’t see many bands or singers that are considered “legendary” if they were only around for a couple of albums (Amy Winehouse is a rare exception, but that’s a discussion for another time). Second, the band/singer would have to have an impact on the genre – did they do something particularly noteworthy or notorious that put them into the annals of the genre’s history, a song or “behavior” that was historic. Third, just how popular were they when they were in existence – a band or singer that was wildly popular with the fans might get some leeway over a critical darling OR vice versa (depending on tastes). Fourth, what accolades did they receive – awards, gold records, and recognition by the industry (Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, hello?) are all under consideration here. Finally, was the band/singer influential on future generations of music – have they helped shape the genre since they have left the sphere?

Here we are – we’ve finally made it to the Final Battle for the right to wear the crown of the greatest hard rock/metal band of all-time. Both bands have slogged through their respective regions – including knocking off the #1 seed in both regions – to meet on this hallowed battleground. Without further ado, here are your two heavyweights vying for the championship, with a brief history of each combatant. In Part Two, we will see how they match up with the criterion we’ve set for determining the victor and crown the champion.

AC/DC vs. Metallica

AC/DC – The True “Thunder” Came From “Down Under”

AC/DC was founded in the wilds of Sydney, Australia, by the Young brothers, lead guitarist Angus and rhythm guitarist Malcolm, in 1973. In their early years, they tried to perfect the “three chords and thunder” sound that would become their trademark, but they also needed the right personnel to bring that sound to the people. Their first break came in finding their rhythm section in Phil Rudd (drums) and Cliff Williams (bass), but it was the vocals of Bon Scott that started the group on its way to glory and success.

AC/DC received some accolades for their early work, particularly High Voltage in 1975, but it was their 1979 album Highway to Hell that broke them as an international superstar act. With such songs as the title track, “Girls Got Rhythm,” “If You Want Blood (You Got It)” and “Touch Too Much,” AC/DC would eventually sell eight million copies of the record. It would also mark a moment that shook the band to its core.

As they were in the studio creating their next album, Scott would die of accidental alcohol poisoning. The band briefly considered breaking up but, encouraged by Scott’s father, decided to soldier on with the band. With new lead singer Brian Johnson at the front of the stage, the band released what would arguably be their masterpiece, Back in Black. The record featured no noticeable change in the style of the band and the title track, “Hells Bells,” “Shoot to Thrill“ and the legendary “You Shook Me All Night Long,” became staples of classic rock stations. The success of the album has been seen in its longevity – it is second only to Michael Jackson’s Thriller in worldwide album sales and been certified double diamond (20 million sales) in the States of America. It is also arguable that AC/DC is now known more for Johnson’s voice than for Scott’s.

Over the next 30-plus years, AC/DC continued to pound out classic hard rock for its legion of fans around the world. This would eventually lead to their induction into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in 2003, but they haven’t even come close to slowing down since then. Lately they’ve gone through some issues – in 2014, Rudd was replaced after being charged with a litany of offenses, including “attempting to procure a murder;” also in 2014, Malcolm Young cited his health in departing the band; in 2016, Johnson was replaced (by Guns ‘N Roses singer W. Axl Rose) after doctors said his hearing could be permanently lost if he continued touring; following the final show of their 2016 “Rock or Bust” World Tour, Williams announced his resignation, citing that the loss of Johnson and Rudd made AC/DC “a changed animal.” But the constant of the band has been the sight of Angus Young, in his schoolboy outfit, still doing his modified Chuck Berry “duck walk” to the delight of crowds worldwide.

Metallica – Bay Area Thrashers Fueled by Inner Demons

Metallica was founded in Los Angeles, CA, in 1981, but for the entirety of its career has called the San Francisco area its home turf. The band’s drummer, Lars Ulrich, put an ad in a local newspaper looking for a singer/guitarist for the band he wanted to found. That band would take on a new form of hard rock/metal, the skate-community inspired “thrash metal” and the pieces of the band had to fit perfectly together. When guitarist James Hetfield– and fellow original members in lead guitarist Dave Mustaine and bassist Cliff Burton – all came on board, the band Metallica was born and exploded on the music scene.

“Exploded” is a rather tame term for the power and aggression that Metallica attacked the then-Euro-driven synth pop and “hair metal” of that era. From their first album, Kill ’em All, in 1983, the band’s in-your-face approach was evident: hard core guitars crashing around machine gun drumming and the angry growl of Hetfield crushing anything in its path. The aural assault also brought something else that hadn’t been a part of the hard rock/metal scene: lyrics delving into issues such as isolation, religious issues, anger, militaristic thought, drug usage and the damage of such usage, not exactly the thing that the “hair metal” acts were singing about on the Sunset Strip.

With these demons, however, came changes to the band. Mustaine was ejected from the group allegedly because of his drug usage and would be replaced by Kirk Hammett. As their star was on its ascendance, tragedy would strike the band in the death of Burton while the band was touring in Sweden in 1986. After receiving the blessing of Burton’s family, the remaining members of Metallica decided to keep the band going, replacing Burton with Jason Newstead, at which point they would enter arguably their most creative and successful era of their career.

In 1988, Metallica released …And Justice for All, arguably their most creative work, and the music world responded. The album, driven by such songs as “One“ (it’s video, splicing scenes from the film Johnny Got His Gun in with band performance, is considered one of the Top 100 videos of all-time), “The Frayed Ends of Sanity,” “Harvester of Sorrow“ and the title track, rocketed the band into notoriety. It was also one of the first competitors in the Best Hard Rock/Metal Performance Vocal or Instrumental category at the 1989 Grammy Awards, but was comically bested by Jethro Tull‘s Crest of a Knave for the inaugural honor (something that is recognized as one of the greatest gaffes in the history of the Grammys; it was corrected somewhat the following year when Metallica won the Grammy in the category).

Not content to sit on that success, Metallica would next release arguably their masterpiece. The entirely black cover – hence many fans and others calling it “The Black Album” but officially an eponymous album – sparked even bigger things for the band. Through such songs as “Enter Sandman,” “Wherever I May Roam,” “The Unforgiven,” “Sad But True,” and others, Metallica solidified its place in the pantheon of “thrash metal” gods (alongside Mustaine’s Megadeth, Slayer, and Anthrax). It also etched its place in music history; Metallica would be the band’s first #1 album, has sold 16 million in the States of America, and started their consecutive streak of studio albums that have debuted at #1 (six, including their latest Hardwired…to Self-Destruct).

To this day, Metallica continues to pound out their brand of metal to an appreciative audience, even though Newstead left the band in 2001 and was replaced by Robert Trujillo. They have also brought attention to many social issues, including mental illness, often depicting their own struggles with those subjects (mental problems and drug and alcohol abuse) in documentary fashion. They were inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in 2009 (first ballot), but Metallica shows absolutely no signs of slowing down as we get deeper into 2017 (and the “Hardwired” tour rolls along with two bands they’ve influenced, Avenged Sevenfold and Volbeat). In fact, if the Hardwired record is any indication, it is possible they still can get better – hard to believe, but potentially true.

Now it is up to you, the voters. We will break the competitors down by the criteria in our final essay and make the decision – who is the greatest hard rock/metal band of all-time? Vote, argue, fight about it (just keep the chains, brass knuckles and knives out of the battle, thank you!)…just let us know who the ultimate champion is going to be!

Rather than delve into the delusion that currently is supposed to oversee this country (and trust me, there’s plenty to call the Tangerine Ignoramus out on simply from this last week alone, such as his stream of consciousness interview with the Associated Press that featured more errors than a five-year old T-ball game), I’ve decided to start something that will be much more fun. Since college basketball just recently completed the NCAA Basketball Championship, I thought it would be fun to do the same but in a different arena – the genre of hard rock/metal music.

What are the criteria for consideration? First, the band/singer would have to have some sort of longevity to their career – you don’t see many bands or singers that are considered “legendary” if they were only around for a couple of albums (Amy Winehouse is a rare exception, but that’s a discussion for another time). Second, the band/singer would have to have an impact on the genre – did they do something particularly noteworthy or notorious that put them into the annals of the genre’s history, a song or “behavior” that was historic. Third, just how popular were they when they were in existence – a band or singer that was wildly popular with the fans might get some leeway over a critical darling OR vice versa (depending on tastes). Fourth, what accolades did they receive – awards, gold records, and recognition by the industry (Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, hello?) are all under consideration here. Finally, was the band/singer influential on future generations of music – have they helped shape the genre since they have left the sphere?

It’s been a long journey, but we’ve finally reached the pinnacle, the mountain – the Final Four. The four combatants have worked their way through their “regions” – the 1960/70s, the 1980s, the 1990s and the 2000s/10s – and are all champions. There can be only one, however, and they will now square off against each other to see who is the final band standing. In our first battle, the 1960s/70s will square off against the 2000s/10s:

AC/DC (2) vs. Disturbed (1)

It was an incredibly tough vote, but longevity seemed to be the deciding factor in the battle between AC/DC and Led Zeppelin, despite the factor that the individual members of Led Zeppelin have had outstanding careers since the band dissolved. Over in the 2000s/10s division, Disturbed was finally able to end the run of Slipknot, sending the six-seed home and moving on to take on arguably one of the most loved bands in the history of hard rock/metal.

AC/DC has endured the slings and arrows of critics that labeled their three-chord grinding music as “mindless” and “simple” since their inception in the early 1970s, constantly touring and churning out new music for their legion of fans. How many records have they done? Sixteen studio albums, including the guaranteed classics Highway to Hell and Back in Black and their title tracks, with sales of over 200 million albums worldwide. Toss on 21 world tours in their history, basically touring from 1973 to 1986 without pausing, and there is no way that you can doubt the veracity of their fans nor their ability to give the people what they want.

Disturbed comes to their success during a different era of music, but they’ve garnered their own accolades through their success. As stated during the Elite Eight, Disturbed’s latest record Immortalized debuted at #1 on the Billboard charts, making their fifth consecutive studio album to do that. Only Metallica and the Dave Matthews Band can say that they have done that – not Led Zeppelin. They have also sold more than 35 million of their seven albums over their 17-year existence and they show no signs of slowing down.

If you were to break down the band by members, the edge vocally would be a tossup. The late Bon Scott and then Brian Johnson left an indelible mark on AC/DC’s sound – really, could you imagine anyone else fronting the band (it remains to be seen if Guns ‘N Roses vocalist W. Axl Rose will remain with the group)? But Disturbed is as much David Draiman as Draiman is Disturbed and his immediately recognizable smooth bass vocals drive that group.

You might say that the guitar work of Angus and Malcolm Young stand out over Disturbed’s Dan Donegan, but Donegan has been just as instrumental (no pun intended) to his group’s success as the Young brothers were to theirs. Donegan has also added in work on keyboards (something key to the experimentation that Disturbed is known for) and, along with drummer Mike Wengren, are the only two men who have been part of the group since its inception.

The question will come down to which do you value more – do you value the length of the career and the virtuosity shown by AC/DC, or do you value the outstanding musicianship of a career that really is still just getting going in Disturbed?

And now for the matchup between the 1980s and the 1990s:

Metallica (2) vs. Rage Against the Machine (2)

This one seemed to be dictated from the start, but both had to overcome the #1 seed in their regions to make it to this point. Metallica had to knock down the boys from New Jersey in Bon Jovi (and I can hear the screams already – Metallica was far more influential and critically acclaimed than Bon Jovi could ever hope to be) and RATM had to best only the “godfather of grunge” in the late Kurt Cobain and Nirvana. Unfortunately, now one must go down.

So, who has the edge with creativity? Both bands have written and sung about subjects that you normally don’t find in hard rock/metal, such as religious and military leaders, rage, drug usage, anger, loss, and retribution (for Metallica) and political opinions related to not only the States of America but worldwide (Rage Against the Machine). Both bands have been the trendsetters in their genres, with Metallica considered the creators of “thrash” metal and RATM furthering the cause of “rap” metal with their work.

Even the band members are considered equals. Whether you are looking at James Hetfield (Metallica) or Zack de la Rocha (RATM) on vocals (Hetfield also wields a mean rhythm guitar), first Dave Mustaine and then Kirk Hammett versus Tom Morello on lead guitar, the triumvirate of the late Cliff Burton, Jason Newstead and now Robert Trujillo against Tim Commerford on bass and the thunderous drum work of both Lars Ulrich or Brad Wilk, they all are considered the best in the business in their respective fields. There is one thing that may swing the needle, however.

Metallica has been in this game since the early 1980s, grinding out their brand of hard rock/metal for more than 35 years solid. They’ve had a few pauses, especially after Newstead left the band in 2001, but they’ve been at the forefront of the hard rock/metal genre for decades. Although RATM was extremely powerful in their music, they also were more of a Roman candle in that they burned bright but burned out quick. Rage Against the Machine’s last studio album was in 2000 (of four; Metallica has 10 in its still-active career) and, although there have been teases in the past, there are no indications that the group is going to come back together for another run. In fact, Morello has taken the other two musicians in RATM and gone on to form Prophets of Rage along with Chuck D and DJ Lord of Public Enemy and B-Real of Cypress Hill.

The evidence has been presented and now it is up to the voters. Who will move on to the Final Conflict? Who will vie for the crown and reign supreme as the greatest band in hard rock/metal history? By this weekend, we will learn the two that will battle it out…