Car Lights? Blimps? and Hair? Oh My!

I don’t know what it is about Wednesday’s, but apparently everybody and their mother decides to go to work on this day of the week. Every other day there aren’t that many cars on the road, but today shit was cray cray. I was like why are there so many cars today it’s freaking Thursday… But then something on the radio said something about it being Wednesday, and I was like oh now all these mofos on the road makes sense. Because every Wednesday there’s always a trillion cars out. I want to know where these other people work because if they only have to work on Wednesday… Where can I send my resume (daaaayum I should be a rapper… You saw how that ish rhymed!!)!! And the others if you took of Monday and Tuesday why go back Wednesday, might as well stay home all week.

Speaking of driving, on my way home today the car that was on my right had a red little light on the side view mirror. I see this and I become fascinated with it. The whole ride home I’m making sure I stay near the car so I can look at this light (I think I was either a cat or a dog in a past life because I get distracted very easily). Out of no where the cars little light turns off, and I was like where’d ya go, where’d ya go, come back! So I speed up to get closer to the the car, and the light turns on again. I was super excited, the lane I was in started going slower than the one the other car was in; so I slow down and the cars little light turns off again. My lane starts moving faster and I get closer to the car, and you wouldn’t believe what happened… The light turned on again. I finally realized that this car was sensing my car every time I got closer. That car was so freaking smart man!! It was tell it’s mommy that I was in her blind spot. What I nice little car. When I can trade Manny Mandingo in ( my vroom vroom) I’m totes gonna get a car that tells me when there’s other cars next to me, only because I like the little light in the mirror.

I don’t know if you’ve noticed but there is absolutely no structure in these posts. So on that note, I’m probably the only one that thinks this but anyway, on Saturday I went to Walmart with my cousin (let’s call him Sacamoco Tira Peo… Translation: take out your boogers and throw farts) and just so you know Walmart is packed at all hours of the day!!! We were there at freaking 10 something at night and there were a bajillion people… Like go home people were here trying to buy some fans!! As I was saying while we were getting out of the car I saw a white blimp over the city. I turned to Sacamoco and tell him “you know every time I see a blimp I just think theres an evil mastermind in there with his crew plotting evil things.” It’s not just any evil mastermind, I usually picture Dr. Evil and his crew sitting at an oval table in the middle of a parana moat. This is every time I see blimp, but this blimp especially screamed Dr. Evils secret layer, it was all white and Dr. Evilish!

Okay my children it’s been fun but it’s that time of year again…I have to go shave! I swear I’m gonna get waxed!! Ugh I hate shaving! OOOO if I ever become super rich the first thing I’m doing is getting laser hair removal for my whole body, well except for the hair on my head, but I would totes get my eyebrows perfectly lazered so I wouldn’t have to do them again!!! This is like the most genius plan ever!!!

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( I can’t wait till I become super duper rich so I can be hairless)