Sea

Sea has been aware of his interest in BDSM since early childhood. He has been a BDSM gypsy of sorts for over 13 years and regularly attends social and educational events across BDSM, leather, and fetish communities in multiple cities including Austin, Dallas, Houston, San Antonio, Los Angeles, New York City, and Washington DC. He is proud to call home Austin, a city where a homeless crossdresser is a local celebrity who ran for mayor, a local band bases all its songs around the lead singer’s fetish for feet, and adults gather each year to celebrate the birthday of Eeyore—yes, Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh!
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This article is the first of a two-part series about raising the question of BDSM with a potential romantic partner one has met without knowing whether there is a shared interest in BDSM. It was originally posted July 28, 2012 According to statistics on the website for The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, […]

William Saletan argues on slate.com that BDSM is not a sexual orientation. Dan Savage agrees (Dan would likely want me to clarify that he doesn’t agree with much else that Saletan says on this matter in case you don’t click on the link to Dan’s article). Let’s take a look at this question, shall we? […]

A question arises in BDSM circles from time to time. Should a dominant say please and thank you when interacting with a sub? The title of this column might make you think that please and thank you are for the fakes. Not so! I am not here to say that dominants should avoid saying please […]

“I want to be a dominant! People tell me I should start out as a submissive. Is that right?” Let’s start by taking a look at two reasons why people might suggest this idea. More so in early days of the public and organized BDSM scene, many saw a hierarchy of ranks between dominants and […]

There was a lesbian couple where one partner was dominant and the other partner was a switch. The switch could not always accommodate the dominant partner’s wants and so they discussed opening their relationship to bring in other submissives who would rank below the switch. And they decided to do just that with submissive men! […]

Editors Note: This article is about consensual BDSM. The author nor the site condones any time of non-consensual abuse. If someone wants to be beaten and is beaten, are they really being beaten? Of course they are! If someone wants to be tied up and is tied up, are they really being tied up? Of […]

Here we have the makings of a debate that rivals one about which baseball team is the best–ask 20 people what a submissive is and you will get 21 answers! People will get in each other’s face, kick up dirt and, sometimes, come close to an all out brawl. What if you believe that a […]

This article is the second of a two-part series about raising the question of BDSM with a potential romantic partner one has met without knowing whether there is a shared interest in BDSM. So you have met someone and you think you hear opportunity knocking. What do do? If you are going to raise the […]

This article is third of a three-series article that explains what BDSM is, and why people enjoy it. It would be helpful to those with or without an interest in BDSM who wish to know more about the terms and origins

This article is second of a three-series article that explains what BDSM is, and why people enjoy it. It would be helpful to those with or without an interest in BDSM who wish to know more about the terms and origins of interest, and those into BDSM who are looking for ideas for how to explain it to others.

About the Author

Sea

Sea has been aware of his interest in BDSM since early childhood. He has been a BDSM gypsy of sorts for over 13 years and regularly attends social and educational events across BDSM, leather, and fetish communities in multiple cities including Austin, Dallas, Houston, San Antonio, Los Angeles, New York City, and Washington DC. He is proud to call home Austin, a city where a homeless crossdresser is a local celebrity who ran for mayor, a local band bases all its songs around the lead singer’s fetish for feet, and adults gather each year to celebrate the birthday of Eeyore—yes, Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh!