The Awareness Center closed. We operated from April 30, 1999 - April 30, 2014. This site is being provided for educational & historical purposes.
We were the international Jewish Coalition Against Sexual Abuse/Assault (JCASA); and were dedicated to ending sexual violence in Jewish communities globally. We did our best to operate as the make a wish foundation for Jewish survivors of sex crimes. In the past we offered a clearinghouse of information, resources, support and advocacy.

Spirituality and Sexuality are very often confusing issues for adult
survivors of childhood sexual abuse, and for several valid reasons. In
families where the concept of God is present, a child's first
representation of God is either of their parents or through their
parents. If you have loving, kind parents you may develop a view of God
that is loving and kind. If, however, you grew up in a family of
violence your perception of a higher power would be of a being that is
controlling, explosive and violent. For children who have been sexually
violated by their parents, their role model for God is that of a sex
offender. Survivors' internalize a view of a punishing, abusive God, who
only allows bad things to happen to them because "God loves them." They
live in a place where nothing is safe, not even their thoughts, because
God can read those and therefore punished for even feeling angry, upset
or disrespectful. Given the way children develop a perception of the
world, a survivor of the heinous crime of incest would naturally
question the veracity of a kind, loving God.

The Talmud (Moad Katan, 17a) relates that a respected Rabbinical
educator was rumored to have been involved in behavior that was
"hateful." The commentators suggest that he was either an adulterer or
seduced young women. The Rabbis ostracized this individual.
Unfortunately, despite this tradition to ostracize such offenders,
Jewish communities have not taken such a strong, responsible position
toward molesters. Too often when allegations of child molestation are
brought to the attention of community leaders, parents or relatives of
victim's are reminded that discussing issues of molestation within the
community or bringing these types of allegations to the public would
result in any number of negative outcomes for the survivor. These
consequences include difficulty finding a marital partner of substance
for not only the survivor, but also other family members, or could
result in the survivor or family members of survivors not getting into
good yeshivas (schools). There are tales of families of abuse victims of
having to relocate to another town as a result of the political
pressures following disclosures. Not only does the survivor have to
struggle with their trust and belief in God so does the survivor's
family.

We have begun to discuss the possibility of a correlation between
assimilation and childhood sexual abuse. According to the most recently
available data one in every three to five women, and one out of every
five to seven men, have been sexually abused by their 18th birthday. As
part of the healing journey, the majority of survivors of abuse reach
the point where they try to integrate what happened to them on a
spiritual level. Many are in twelve-step programs, surrounded by
individuals of other faiths, yet the Jewish survivors often feel
different. Jews have very different customs then that of their Christian
friends. When a survivor is from an unaffiliated background, they may
feel at a loss -- unsure of what to do, or how to do it while survivors
from backgrounds that were more traditional and included a Jewish
education may feel betrayed by that background. The confusion of the
healing process adds to the inability to find a healthy spiritual place
within their own religion. So what is a Jewish survivor of childhood
abuse to do?

Up until now there have been very few individuals who are "survivor
friendly" in the Jewish community. We need to start opening our minds
and our hearts to begin listening to survivors of childhood sexual abuse
bearing witness. Just like holocaust survivors, who were initially
shunned, survivors of childhood abuse need to be allowed to speak in
order to heal, to be able to learn to connect with God, to see God as
something other then neglectful, abusive and cruel. Those listening to
these disclosures have a responsibility to themselves, their families
and to the survivors. It is vitally important to make sure they have
access to a support group conducted by a trained facilitator who is
experienced with compassion fatigue (secondary post-traumatic stress
disorder), so they are allowed to debrief and maintain balance, after
hearing the voices of survivors.

Karen is a thirty-year-old survivor of childhood sexual abuse. She
indicated that she spent her life trying to connect to something that
was spiritual, yet felt she was failing. Over the years she approached
many rabbis asking them questions. Unfortunately, the Rabbis, due to a
lack of training, were unable to help her understand either her
questions or the concepts with which she need the most help. Most had
difficulty listening to her disclose her abuse history. When Karen was a
child, while her father was molesting her, he would say "this is how
you know God loves you . . . you know anything that feels this good has
to have come from God . . . this is how you know God is inside you."
Knowing this information would be critical in understanding Karen's
difficulties with the concept of God. Yet most Rabbis doing outreach
were unable to help her reframe her experience and make it possible for
Karen to learn to connect.

Rivka was in her teens when she first disclosed to a friend that her
father, a rabbi was molesting her. Her father was also a principal of a
school for young boys. Her friend told her mother, who in turn, went to
a local community leader to ask for advice. Because of the stature of
her father, the community leader suggested they keep quiet about the
abuse. As time went on, Rivka was unable to cope. As a teen she ran into
some difficulties and ended up moving into the home of one of her
classmates. Due to political pressure within the community, the family
that Rivka resided with was asked not to daven (pray) in the synagogue
they had been members of for years. The family was dedicated to helping
Rivka heal, and were not about to put her out on the streets. Rivka
eventually went to college, was able to support herself financially, got
married and is the mother of three. Rivka came from a Torah observant
upbringing, but from her experiences with the denial of the community,
she no longer practices. She feels betrayed by her family, the Jewish
community, and most importantly by God. When speaking to community
leaders of the town she was from, and when her name is mentioned, they
make comments such as she's happy, she is married and has children. But
they are not completely correct. Rivka's is in mourning. She misses her
biological family, she misses her connection to her community and she
feels that has no one to talk to about her feelings about God.

Mitch grew up in family filled with physical and sexual violence.
The family belonged to a synagogue and his parents made sure to enroll
all their children in programs so that they could learn about Judaism.
There was a problem -- Mitch was deaf. None of the Jewish educational
programs had interpreters. Mitch was not proficient at lip reading and
disclosed that he was bored and felt left out. Growing up Mitch never
felt that he was a part of his family since the majority of his family
members were not proficient in sign language. He was alone isolated in
his deaf world.

School was Mitch's only respite. He was enrolled in a school for the
deaf, and could communicate freely with people who could understand and
relate to him. Growing up in the South and being deaf meant that he
didn't have any Jewish friends. As he reached high school, he wanted to
be like his friends. Most of them went to church. Mitch had no concept
of God, and was like a sponge to learn, to connect to something
spiritual. Mitch's concept of God was that of a father who was filled
with anger and rage. No one in the Jewish community ever took the time
to meet Mitch's needs. He never was given the opportunity to express his
thoughts and feelings about his concepts of God to anyone Jewish. But
then the missionaries reached him. Like so many survivors, the desire to
feel loved was strong. His new friends knew this and showed him
unconditional love. He would do anything to feel loved and cared for,
and if it meant learning about another religion, then he did it. When
his family realized what was happening they tried to rectify the
situation, but again it was done in a way that appeared to be an attempt
to control and abuse him. Their attempt was unsuccessful. To this day
Mitch's views Judaism as something that is abusive and wrong.

The more our communities, and our leaders are educated on the issues
relating to childhood sexual abuse the easier it will be to help heal
the oozing wounds of childhood sexual abuse. Band-Aids can only cover up
an infection. Our communities need to do major wound care, some
individuals may require "spiritual surgery," while others my just need a
topical ointment. But together as a community, as a people we can come
together and heal the world.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Ordered by the Tel Aviv District Court to pay NIS 120,000 in compensation to a woman he sexually assaulted with whom he counseled.If you have more information about this case, please forward it to The Awareness Center.

Rabbi Eliyahu Tzabari, a former chief rabbi of Ganei Tikva, was ordered by the Tel Aviv District Court yesterday to pay NIS 120,000 in compensation to a woman he sexually abused. The women came to the rabbi a decade ago seeking spiritual advice and help with lifting a curse she said had been placed on her and her infant son, who suffered from severe asthma. The rabbi persuaded her to participate in sexual rituals he claimed would exorcise the curse. Tzabari was indicted in 2001, but a criminal trial was postponed by then-attorney general Elyakim Rubinstein because of the rabbi's poor health. The woman pressed her case in a civil suit.

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For more information go to: http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/17/107.shtml . If you wish to use copyrighted material from this update for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

The following has been circulated, and mailed to
several different Jewish newspapers. As of today, no one has published it.
Through my sources, I know who wrote this. The letter and its author are
credible. -- Vicki Polin

__________________________________________________________

To the editors

Rabbi Eliezer Eisgrau

I would like to address a very important and very troubling
issue affecting our entire community and its future.

The taboo surrounding the issue of child sexual abuse
in general, and even more so within our own community is very real and difficult
to surmount for many reasons. Our silence is what child sexual offenders
count on to enable them to continue abusing. We must break this silence and
as a community begin to address this issue openly.

This sensitive issue becomes even harder to deal with
when allegations are made against a rabbi or trusted leader within our community.
Most of our rabbis and leaders are not child molesters, but most also have
no training or expertise in this area. Most rabbonim confronted with allegations
of abuse against a trusted and respected colleague are simply not equipped
to deal with the situation. Obviously, they do not want to believe the
allegations. It is a lot easier to stigmatize an obviously troubled or angry
victim then to believe that a well respected, influential, colleague could
be a sexual predator.

Entrance to The Torah Institute of Baltimore

Instances of childhood sexual abuse are very hard to
prove (or disprove), as there are rarely any witnesses, or visible scars.
Training in recognizing the short and long-term effects affects of abuse
is essential, and the responsibility of every Rabbi to obtain.

We have recently read stories of perpetrators within
our community who have used the silence of the community and its leaders
to allow them to continue abusing children, sometimes for decades. Some say
that it is a chillul Hashem for papers to have published such information.
The sad truth is that going to the papers is the only thing that finally
stopped the abuser and prevented future victims. The real chillul Hashem
is that many Rabbonim knew of allegations for years and did nothing. The
real chillul Hashem is that when a sexual abuse or assault victim dares to
speak out publicly, instead of helping the victim, and confronting the issue,
Rabbonim and community leaders rally around the accused perpetrator trying
to protect the image of the community at the expense of his victims.

Many of our "at risk teens" who have gone "off the
derech" (OTD) are victims of childhood sexual abuse and have gotten the message
loud and clear that they will not be helped or believed, and so have left
the community.

When allegations are brought against a person who is
in a position of authority over innocent children this person should very
quickly be directed to another line of work. To date there is no known cure
for pedophiles. The only way to manage these tendencies is for perpetrators
to never be alone with a child.

Parents have a right to know about allegations made
against those caring for their children and to make an informed decision
about the risks that they are willing to expose their children to. The Baltimore
community must be made aware of and take responsibility for any accused
perpetrators in our mist, especially when they hold positions that enable
them to continue to offend.

Rabbi Eliezer Eisgrau, the principal of the
Torah Institute,
is one such individual. Rabbi Eisgrau has, on at least two known occasions,
been accused of child sexual molestation and on at least one occasion of
physical abuse. (He allegedly hit a child in the face and broke his glasses.)
One of the accusations of sexual abuse was made by a former student, and
the other by one of rabbi Eisgrau's own daughters. (Both of his alleged victims
are now adults.)

The charges brought against Rabbi Eisgrau by his student
were formally investigated and later dropped because of insufficient evidence.
In the words of the investigator, Detective Richard Hardick, he was "stonewalled"
by the community. Concerned and aware members of our community (including
myself) who have tried to speak out about the potential danger to our children
have been threatened with loss of their job, membership to shul, and even
personal safety. Rabbi Eisgrau's rav has advised rabbi Eisgrau's other children
to excommunicate their sister unless she agrees never to speak out about
her experience. This, in my opinion, is a horrible chillul Hashem and abuse
of rabbinic authority.

Let us, as a community, take responsibility for protecting
our children and educating ourselves about sexual abuse. A good resource,
which deals specifically with sexual abuse in the Jewish community, is The
Awareness Center at, www.theawarenescenter.org.

"Our community has not been educated to recognize abuse
nor to appreciate the ongoing trauma of victims...Often the response is to
express anger at the paper (publishing letters such as this one) and then
ignore the abuse. Until the mentality of the community changes little progress
will be made."

Monday, November 08, 2004

In a recent letter, a man stated that he was "preyed on" by homosexuals as a child. The Child Welfare League of America, the American Academy of Child Psychiatrists, the National Association of Social Workers, and the American Psychological Association have all taken the position that there is no correlation between homosexuality and sexual abuse of children.

Roland Summit, head physician of Community Consultation Service at Harbor UCLA Medical Center made the following statement: "The vast majority of offenders are heterosexual men. Male offenders who abuse young boys maintain adult heterosexual relationships. The habitual molester of boys is rarely attracted to adult males."

A. Nicholas Groth, Ph.D, then director of the Sex Offender Program at Connecticut Department of Corrections and co-director of the St. Joseph College Institute for the Treatment and Control of Child Sexual Abuse wrote, "The belief that homosexuals are particularly attracted to children is completely unsupported by our data. The child offenders who engaged in adult relationships as well were heterosexuals. There were no homosexual adult-oriented offenders in our samples who turned to children." (Groth, A. Nicholas & Birnbaum, B., Adult Sexual Orientation and Attraction to Underage Persons. Archives of Sexual Behavior 7:175181, 1978.)

If this man was preyed on by men as a boy, they were pedophiles, not homosexuals. If they also maintained adult relationships, they were almost certainly heterosexual ones.

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Survivors ARE Heroes!

The Awareness Center believes ALL survivors of sex crimes should be given yellow ribbons to wear proudly.

Survivors of sexual violence (as adults and/or as a child) are just as deserving of a yellow ribbon as the men and women of our armed forces, who have been held captive as hostages or prisoners of war.

Survivors of sexual violence have been forced to learn how to survive, being held captive not by foreigners, but mostly by their own family members, teachers, camp counselors, coaches babysitters, rabbis, cantors or other trusted authority figures.

For these reasons ALL survivors of sexual violence should be seen as heroes!