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Sunday, July 15, 2012

The Real Deal: My Intern Orientation Part 1

In my idealized vision of Intern Orientation, my first week
would be busy, yet amazing. In reality, it was one part separation anxiety hell
and one part meeting really cool new colleagues with a dash of partner
arguments.

The hell: knowing that I would miss my baby and then really,
really, really missing everything about him. Having spent the last 9 months at
home with him full-time, gone are the days of sleeping in, play dates with the
other stay-at-home mommies, the almost daily home-cooked meals. The first few
mornings have involved me trying to ease myself out of bed without waking the
baby or my husband only to have the baby pop up and begin screeching as I brush
my teeth. I learned after the first day that the only way to make it out of the
house on time is to ignore his cries. I have cried on my way to the hospital on
more than one occasion. I have questioned why I chose this path. I have felt
like a horrible mother, especially since Zo refused to drink more than 0.5oz of
expressed milk for 2 days and morphed from a content, happy baby into a fussy
fuss-face in the blink of an eye. Half-jokingly, I have contemplated moving to
a country without extradition laws to escape the mountains of student loan debt
that I have accumulated so that I can stay at home with him comfortably until
he begins elementary school.

The cool colleagues: My Co-Interns are awesome. I was very
nervous to meet them. I was worried about the clique-ish, fraternity culture of
my medical school repeating itself, but the majority of the group seems very
committed to providing excellent care and being collegial with one another
rather than drinking it up at bars. Though, I know that I will have to make a
point to plan some family-friendly events for everyone to participate in. And
some wine and cheese socials for those of us who like things more low-key.

The arguments with the partner who I never argue with: The
arguments started on the first day. Prior to orientation, my husband had never
spent an entire day alone with Zo. Add screaming fussiness, the heat of
Southern living, and a baby who refuses to drink expressed milk and you have a
recipe for disaster. By Day 3, hubby and I were pretty angry. By then, Zo had
begun eating fruits and veggies verociously throughout the day and we had begun
mixing breast milk in everything. We devised banana and milk smoothies, rice
and beans with splashes of milk for creaminess, I could go on but some of our
concoctions made us cringe while the baby lapped it all up. Additionally, Zo has altered his schedule and
now wakes up 6-8 times a night instead of his usual 3-4. So yeah, the arguments
about everything from not having enough veggies to me closing the door too
loudly resulted in various heated debates and even one “I don’t want to
talk anymore, let’s stop talking right now!”

The mid-to-final-verdict: The first few days of Doctor-mommy
being away during the day means less daytime milk, many more night time nursing
awakenings, and a fussy family. There will be an end, right?!? I’ll post again
once the final verdict is in.

5 comments:

Good Luck! I start med school in less than 3 weeks and am dreading the first day away scenario. (I have a 3 month old, and my husband plans to be working from home, at least the first few months of school while we figure things out. So far, he has been away overseas for work for 2 weeks-clearly not preparing/practicing/learning the baby's routine....)

In my imagination, my transition sounds a lot like yours, so good luck and hope to hear a successful verdict soon! (Also- how did you organize so much time off to be at home?)

Hoping to hear a story of laughter and success sooner rather than later!

Dear Mommabee, seems clear that this is one of many, many transitions that you and your family will have to navigate. All three of you seem to be handling it with love, imagination and a large measure of flexibility. Keep up the good work!

It will get better!! Intern year is hard enough without having a baby at home. Soon you all will have found yourselves in a routine that works for your family. The smiles you get from your little one when you get home will make any hard day at work just melt away. Just remember, that you are not only going through all this for yourself, but for your little guy and your family.

I am almost done with an Emergency Medicine residency. I have 2 more months left since I have to make up the time I took off for maternity leave. I had my little girl halfway through my second year of residency. Even with my husband staying home with her, it's still so hard to leave her. But that gets easier too. For me, the end of residency is finally in sight. I will have a better schedule and more time at home with my family. It's been hard but definitely worth it. Hang in there!!

WOw. I could have written some of this. I am starting a residency too and just finished orientation 2 weeks ago. I took a 2 week vacation to help my daughter and hubby figure out a good schedule so that it would not be so tough for him when i am gone. Here's to hoping it all turns out fine!

Mothers in Medicine is a group blog by physician-mothers, writing about the unique challenges and joys of tending to two distinct patient populations, both of whom can be quite demanding. We are on call every. single. day.

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