Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Have you tried walking in the heavy rain yet? You know, not because you were caught by it but because you want to enjoy it? Did you ever try playing in the cold, murky flood and dig your toes in the sand below it? Would you ever drink rainwater? You hate the icy rain all over you, but isn’t the rush of water feels soothing and relaxing to your soul? And if you are all for the fun and pleasure of it, you may want to go hide and seek, play “habulan” or just simply walk over that tiny bridge and stare at the stream of water underneath. Suddenly everything looks and feels natural, isn’t it?

While we attempt to hide our childish fantasies, we tend to lose them along the way. And then we somehow became as confused as to what makes us really happy and content. I know people who get lonely when it’s raining. They have, by some means, associate it with tears and loneliness. And by the way, who would not get upset of rains on a special event say, wedding day? Actually in most occasions, rain is never a good sign. As there ever been a mainstream pop voice so effortlessly melancholy as that of Karen Carpenter? Written in her classic Rainy Days and Mondays song:

"What I've got they used to call the bluesNothin' is really wrongFeelin' like I don't belongWalkin' aroundSome kind of lonely clownRainy days and Mondays always get me down.."

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But I say, nothing in life can make you miserable unless you allow it. Everything has its ups and downs. The Bible says you have the power to choose between a blessing and curse. So? Learn to enjoy your present. Accept that there are always two sides of the coin. Rain or shine, they are both your blessings.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

If I have no fear, I would take my family and go on vacation and squander all the little savings we have.

If I have no fear, I’ll leave my job and work full time as mom and wife.

If I have no fear, I’ll say to people how I really feel the moment I feel it, just so one can truly know me.

If I have no fear, I’ll try air gun, with bruises, scratches, screaming and all.

If I have no fear, why am I in the same job for the last 10 years?

For others, it is so easy to put an act and make things look great and happy and cheery. But if you dig a little deeper, scratching below the surface ever so slightly, things — and people — may not always come up roses. We owe ourselves logical explanation as to why we are ever so afraid to try radical, off-the-wall ideas. All too often, we are quick to say,

“Oh I’m fine.”“I can’t complain.”“I’m good. And you?”

But in real, you are aching for changes but just too afraid to step out of comfort zone. Sometimes, we are extremely consumed by worries, all fueled by unknown fear. We keep making up excuses and stories just so we can defend our actions. No one is to blame though. It is not anyone’s fault. We are made to believe by a pesky rumor that we should not fix what is not broken. But beneath a fresh coat of paint, there lie ugly truths of low self-esteem, lack of perseverance and yes, poor guts to create difference in life. This has somehow transforms us like little hermits on our own island.

Sadly, there has to be some point where we realize that’s not healthy anymore. Ultimately, we should try to be the person what we really want to be. No matter what people, or our own ego will say. There will always be standards and obligations to follow and fulfill, but at the end of the day, we owe ourselves genuine happiness and a life worth living.

As for what I do with the fears I have, I guess I need to start somewhere. Why not with the easiest one? Air gun, please…

About Me

My blog is about me, my family, and my random thoughts about life as a mother, wife, and every roles in between. If anything, blogging has expanded my mindset and has been a reminder to me of how diverse (and extraordinary) the world is.