Wild Feature

Wild Feature, a true showstopper, packs a wallop of grandiose proportions! Greater than an ear full of Coolwhip or getting frisked at Newark Airport, It’s a quagmire of Necco wafers!

As we pull back the curtain on this “Wild Feature”, we fade up on an otherworldly landscape, where we meet Wordbot and Quodlibet. Embarking on this strange surface, one is reminded of multicolored Play Doh baked in the sun. Above a gradient purple sky, a second horizon cuts open the hemisphere to reveal sparkling outer space. Quodlibet’s nose is a kazoo and honks in succession. As the planet’s shrubs wiggle at us like fingers, each fingertip shoots out a different colored liquid. The color is quickly reabsorbed into the planets spongey surface. Wordbot calculates words and also signs of life. Wordbot is also anxious because he has to make it back to his shrink in midtown by 3. At this point a massive jukebox hovers above us like a 70’s airbrushed album cover. A shower of digital hamburgers rains down and stacks perfectly like bricks when they hit the planet’s surface. Wordbot, annoyed that they are all overcooked, is interrupted by Quodlibet’s discovery of something red glittering in the shadow of the jukebox, a copy of Sarusaphone Weekly. They are so excited that they start doing cartwheels backwards. As they do so, the planet does a backwards cartwheel itself, and suddenly we are emitted from the cold, metal mouth of a Woolworth’s gumball machine.

Pudgy and sweating, Ralph McNellie, 4th grade, is wedged between a large green doormat and a large green bench, reaching through infinity at us. A high-pitched siren is sounded and a fleet of mice skate by. An iridescent number 4 flashes. Angered, a tall, slim statue with piercing eyes slowly glides over to Ralphy. Strangely enough, once the statue reaches the child it returns back to its starting point and now just its arm stretches to the crouched boy. As this mechanical demon’s fingertips reach the boy’s shoulder, Ralphy turns into the parallel parking part of a driver’s test.

So you see folks!- Prepare to be subdued, because after you catch a glimpse of Wild Feature’s summer show line-up poppin’ off, yull be pulling your hair out!