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This article is going to sound so unlike just about everything you’ve read about relationship-building and being a guy who can make friends and “get girls” without too much struggle of getting rid of the nice guy persona that’s fucked with your life.

It’s almost at the point where it’s boring to be around him because he doesn’t say much and doesn’t offer his opinion on much except when he gets pissed about something. Yet it’s not completely boring where you want to shoot yourself in the head with a 12 gauge about how he says next to nothing.[Read more…] about The surprising benefits of having a quiet father

When I lived with my parents, I felt like I could not take care of myself, could not rely on the person I was to live my life in an attractive way, could not take action on the things I wanted.

I was not self-dependent at all. I had not developed any sense of self-reliance or worthiness in my ability to do things on my own or be ok with myself as I was. I had little assertiveness. I had boundaries, but I let people walk on it and let myself get pissed and butt-hurt when someone broke a big personal boundary of mine but didn’t do anything about it.

I studied the conversation manuals. I tried to learn how to make small talk sexy. I studied how to be an attractive guy and how to date hot girls and how to approach properly and get the number perfectly.

Have you ever felt like you weren’t worthy of something? Say unworthy of a woman you want, a job you want, starting your own business, something even as simple as feeling like you can’t go to a gym to work out because of social shame about your self-image?

I’d been doing some informal personal coaching on Reddit to help men become grounded men and help them to meet women they’re interested in. I found that through helping other men, I’ve been able to gain a bit of a deeper insight into my own abilities, but that I’ve also gained a greater respect and empathy for men who suffer from not being able to meet women or develop the self-confidence they want, not only because I can relate to them, but also because I feel like they have so much to offer; they just need someone to uncover the hidden aspect of themselves they couldn’t see before.

I fucking hate self-help these days. I know that probably makes me look like some kind of charlatan or the opposite of what you’d call a “virtuous blogger”, but whatever, I feel it needs to be said. Self-help has become a joke.

The vast majority of it goes on and on about the same shit you hear from every other blogger and their mother: Be positive, stow away your anger and “negative” feelings because they’re out to get you and eat you up, don’t masturbate because God said you’re not allowed to (Hey! Fuck you, I like masturbating and fucking for fun! It’s fun!), think about becoming successful all day long and one day you will be a success, set goals for yourself that sink into your subconscious, visualize your way to financial and physical freedom because whatever you focus on the most materializes into reality. Some self-help is great, which I’ll address at the bottom of this post, but most I noticed, sucks. [Read more…] about The Top 6 reasons why personal development is mutilating your life