Dec 15, 2012

Talking to my son about sex

Last night my wife told me that Bruce, 13, had a private talk with his pediatrician who wanted to give him the vaccine against HPV. This prompted me to talk to him about sex.

I sat him down in front of my laptop and started off asking, "Do you know how babies are made?" "Yes from a scientific point of view." was his troubling response.
"Actually it is from every point of view." I countered. "Then I asked how." He said with the sperm and the egg. I pushed , "How does the male give the female the sperm. Is it by kissing? He was uncomfortable or unable to answer so I pulled up YouTube and showed some mating pictures of animals - pigs, horses. "That's how mommies and daddies do it too." And I emphasized that it a good thing, how God wanted creatures to be part of His creation activity.

"However, some people do that just for the fun of it - even teens." I continued. "It's wrong because they're not married and it's dangerous."
I opened up a Google image search and pulled up pictures from "STD penis". Bruce's eyes widened as he saw pictures of diseased and infected penises with pus and rashes and cuts. This is what can happen because of diseases out there that are sexually transmitted. He asked clarification about how those can be transmitted. "Not by sneezing" I said. "Those virus and bacteria gets passed by sex."

And here's some math - or statistics and probability. Having sex with one girl is like having sex with all the boys whom she slept with and all the girls whom those boys slept with etc.
He started getting curious and asked, "So how do you know if you have the disease?"
I pulled up Google, searched for symptoms and showed him. "You see, the punishment of sin does not come after death." I counseled. "It starts here and now and it destroys your life." I told him about HIV/AIDS and we went into the biology of the T-cells and host diseases. And while some STDs are curable, imagine having all those wounds, pus and agony in pissing.

Then I went to the relationship impact by asking, "Suppose you find a girl to marry and had to tell her that you have STDs, what are the chances that she will take you? Would you want to dip your dick in a petri dish filled with nasty bacteria?" The only one who would take a diseased guy is most likely a diseased girl. And what kind of life is that?

I then made my witness saying how I met his mom at Singles for Christ because most likely the girls there do not sleep around. I told him when we got married and how he was born 10 months after. He seems to radiate some admiration and respect for me after that.