Saturday, January 01, 2005

Happy freaking new year

Well, my trip to Troy proved successful. I may not have gotten drunk this New Year's Eve, but it was a good time anyway.
I've made the decision: I'm going to consciously try to get over Randy now. I realized that it's no longer worth it to waste my time and feelings on someone who will never reciprocate them. I won't say I'm not bitter about all that's happened and all that's bound to happen, because I am. It's going to take time for me to get back on the road. I'd love more than anything to be friends with him again -- to maybe be a special friend, someone he confides in -- but that won't be possible for a long time, not until I fix everything I've messed up these last few months. I always seem to be either breaking or fixing things, don't I?
Nonetheless, it was good to get out of the house for awhile. Traveling alone is so exhilirating -- I have the wind at my back, the open road before me, and an infinite amount of possibility. It's the ultimate feeling of freedom. I feel most alive when I'm traveling, when I'm on the road, either by myself or with close friends. That and music are my natural high. And when combined...the results are purely orgasmic. ;-P

"Jane says, 'I ain't never been in love. I don't know what it is.' She only knows if someone wants her. 'I want them if they want me. I only know they want me.'
... I'm gonna kick tomorrow."- Jane's Addiction, "Jane Says"