Jesus

Get-together

Float. A word that when heard gives you a feeling of lightness and positive vibes. As a matter of fact, I had a wonderful experience with this one just last December.

As our company’s custom, we were to have our company’s annual gathering a day prior to our Christmas party. For this year’s activities, we had a recollection in the morning and the evaluation of each branch’s performance in the afternoon.

Honestly, I never had the vaguest idea how the recollection would affect me. I thought it would be the same experience we had just like the previous years: listen to what the priest had to share, laugh at his jokes, and plainly follow where he might lead us.

However, this one was far different. I could not explain if my experience of the night before had something to do with it, or it was just a simple coincidence.

Restless

I was unable to sleep the night before. It may be because I was in a different room with four other people or maybe it was due to a feeling of overwhelm as the long preparation for our presentation contest had just been over. Yep, we just danced earlier.

Anyway, yes I was unable to sleep, so restless. I felt a tinge of emptiness inside of me. I longed for silence. Inner silence. The kind of silence where I would not hear the noise from the air-conditioning or the snoring of my roommates. Specifically, I sought God. I missed God. I wanted to talk to Him verbally. I wanted to go outside, but afraid of being misinterpreted for staying out alone in the middle of the night. I felt so helpless.

Thankfully, I fell into a deep slumber after I started calling out Jesus’s name. That was the last thing I remembered upon waking up three hours later.

Recollection

So then when we were inside the conference hall my eyelids were so heavy. The raindrops perfectly added to the sleepiness that I felt. The priest arrived. A not-so-interesting looking guy. Tall. A bit slim. Looked intelligent.

Father Ram was gentle but firm. He ordered us (not requested) to go to the comfort room or do anything that makes us comfortable for five minutes before he would begin because he does not want anyone to be roaming around when he begins.

He was direct to the point. And I loved it. I was surprised when he said he wanted us to meet God not because we were told, but meet God for the sake of meeting Him. Cool. I thought, “ah, meditation.” Just like what I used to do.

I began to get worried when Father Ram told us to close our eyes. I was afraid I might fall asleep. That would be embarrassing. His technique was guided meditation with the help of background instrumental music.

With eyes closed, I struggled to stay awake. Father Ram’s voice echoed. Gentle. Comforting. He brought us to a place we longed for. The most beautiful place we could think of. Any place where we each finds comfort. I told myself, “ah, my paradise.” I began to scroll through my memory the image of my paradise. Because I was so sleepy, I only had fragments of it. The rainbow’s colors were not vibrant. The waterfalls were foggy. The grass on my feet was not so soft. Still, I managed to stay there.

Reunited

I thought that would be the end of it. But I was caught by surprise when Father Ram urged us to welcome Jesus walking slowly towards us. The image of Him walking towards me was disturbing. My tears just fell unwantedly, when we were guided to gaze closely at his blue eyes. His loving gaze penetrated deeply into my whole being; my every bone, my tiniest cell, the darkest corners of my soul. I tried to control those tears because I did not want anybody noticed me crying. But in the silence of the room sobs began to be heard. I felt relieved for that knowledge.

So I continued to focus at the moment, at the blue eyes that gazed lovingly into my sinful soul. I felt so lost in the sea of my emotions. I let go. I could not believe that the night before I longed for Him. And a few hours later, here He was looking into my eyes, loving me, hugging me. It was so good to have Him with me once again.

A light seemed to surround me. At that moment it was only me and Jesus. His embrace melted into my flesh. I felt so light all over. I seemed to float. I wanted to spread my arms and fly. I felt like flying. I was on cloud nine, ten, eleven. Words are too weak to describe the beauty of that moment. It was just so wow!

Reality

Father Ram’s voice brought me back into reality when he told us to offer to Jesus all our pains and troubles. As to this part, I was not so dramatic. For I know, troubles are always there for our growth and learning. The only difference is: when we call on God to carry the burdens with us, life is bearable. If not, it would be a misery.

I felt Jesus telling me that He is just there no matter what. He is always there. I need only to call on Him and listen to the silence in my heart where He speaks. That was all I need.

Re-energized

When we were brought back to reality, I felt very much energized. The feeling of sleepiness was gone. I felt so fresh, so whole, so complete—the feelings I least expected.

It was years gone by when I last had my recollection. And I am so thankful for having this one at the end of the year. Until now the positive vibes I have had still lingers. With this experience fresh in my memory bucket, I know a wonderful year is waiting for me.

Years ago someone added me in a Facebook community. This community tackled the political issues in our province. At that time our province was divided mainly by two political parties. Hence, each party had supporters; not just plain supporters but supporters who were willing to fight with gritted teeth for their party. I also supported one party because I was a registered voter.

One time I posted my opinion on the page concerning some issues we, locals, were facing. There were then an exchange of opinions in the thread. Slowly, one supporter of the other party began to attack me. I defended myself by saying I do not level with small minds (that may sound harsh but a little better than the words he used against me). His reply was more immature. He told me he knew who I was as if insinuating my social status compared to his. To think his family name was the same as my maiden family name. We could see how fanaticism distort a man’s thinking.

Consequently, I did not answer further more. I would not disagree where my social status belongs in the society. Or if my past looked blatantly ugly. I do not care. Those things do not define my true self; so I do not need to spend time and effort arguing with someone over those petty things. What matters to me is who I know myself to be in the now moment. This for me, is the best way to live every second of my life.

After that I no longer visited the community. I loathe places full of negativity. I have the choice to live my best life. And I live my life that way no matter what others have to say.

I looked at things this way because of my role model. He is none other than the famous, Jesus of Nazareth. Jesus had many bashers too. He knew the people who were setting a plot to arrest him. He knew the people who got jealous of him. He knew the person who denied him. He knew the person who betrayed him. He knew the people who shouted that he’d be crucified. However, he did not defend himself. Until the end he did not disagree with these people. He did not even asked them why. He knew he had done nothing to receive such an ugly treatment from all of these people. But he just remained silent. Eventually, he was crucified; and yet got resurrected. What was more beautiful, he did not cry over them, mull over them, or even ask God why people behaved this way.

For me, the example of Jesus is the best way to handle situations like these. There is no need arguing with people who believed greatly how right they are. If you would, you are just like bumping your head on a hard wall. And if ever you could prove to them how right you are and how wrong they are, it could only make their egos cry for becoming so little before you. That they would not allow to happen no matter what.

It pays to know yourself fully well, as well as to be mentally, emotionally and spiritually rooted within; so that when confronted with situations like these, you know you walk away not because you are weak or afraid but because you know it is not worth your time. Some more beautiful things out there are waiting for your attention. It is best to spend your most beautiful life with the most beautiful things that could help you grow, expand and fly.

Archive

Thank you for dropping by!

Hi there! I am a learner, a searcher and a lover of everything beautiful. May you'd be inspired by my simple stories, life musings, bits of poetry, and my take on photography. I just have this petty thought that life is a never ending exploration of mundane things that lead to happiness and beyond.