Narcolepsy Is Not a Flu Vax Side Effect (Nor Is Kinky Sex)

People are missing the whole point behind the supposed connection between the swine flu vaccinePandemrix and the sleep disorder narcolepsy. Yawn and think about it. Kids. Flu vaccine. Sleep. SLEEP! Heck, give my kids a flu vaccine every day if it puts them out.

Kidding. All you anti-vaxers take a deep breath. I am joking, okay, jokkiiinggg.

People do not joke about the flu vaccine. Oh, no, the people who are for it are STRONGLY for it, and the people who are against it are VEHEMENTLY opposed to it, convinced it's still some vast conspiracy by the governments and the pharmaceutical industry to use us all as human guinea pigs, or just kill us.

I think we all need to lighten up just a little bit. A few swine flu vaccine jokes would do us good. I'll bet Jimmy Kimmel and David Letterman are crafting a few of their own right now in wake of the news that investigators found no evidence of a connection between the sleep disorder narcolepsy and the swine flu vaccine.

They will continue to do more studies, but preliminary evidence finds that it's much better to get the shot and lower your risk of flu, than to not get the shot and maybe get the flu because you are worried that it might trigger a very rare disorder that you probably won't get anyway. See, it's that whole "weighing the bigger risk" thing.

Seriously, you wouldn't want to get narcolepsy. It's a lot scarier than the flu in a lot of ways, but in both cases, these conditions are dangerous and can be fatal. The disorder is due to abnormal function of brain signals triggered at odd times of the day, telling your body you need to go to sleep right now. Like in the middle of your big meeting. Bad. Or while you're walking down an alley alone. Very bad. Or while you're behind the wheel with your kids in the car. The worst.

You also wouldn't want something called necrophilia, which can best be described as sexual arousal stimulated by a dead body, and has absolutely no bearing or relation to narcolepsy, swine flu, or the vaccine whatsoever. But if you had it, that wouldn't point to good or healthy things about you. Except if that corpse is someone like Edward Cullen. In that case, you'd just be normal.

Honestly, the swine flu is no joke. I vaxed myself and both my kids. And they're still not sleepy.