My mother is 83 years old, and has dementia. She often regresses into a childlike state, where she demands to be pampered. She asks for things like cookies and candy, which I cannot give her, because she also has type 2 diabetes. I have tried giving her sugar free cookies and candy, but they only seem to cause problems. If my mother does not get her way, she will throw a temper tantrum, and threaten to walk out the front door (which she has done before) How do I deal with this?

3 Answers

Just a suggestion—I had weight loss surgery about 11 years ago and have to be very careful about eating sweets. I recently learned that the sugar free alternatives that contain sorbitol or certain other artificial sweeteners are just as bad for me. Because my son-in-law is diabetic, I purchased a cookbook specifically for diabetics. It benefits both of us. Often, applesauce is used in baking as a sweetener. Neither of us needs to give up “sweets” and the recipes are easy. You and Mom could even cook/bake together.

Dear catfan-I sincerely understand. My mom does this too. I partly feel like I know she won't be with us much longer, so eat what you want! In moderation, which she doesn't do. Mom is a diabetic and super sensitive to caffeine, so I have to watch those things more closely. So, when she is demanding something, I try to distract. Or outright lie. So sorry, we don't have any diet Pepsi. Or cookies. And then say...would you like an iced coffee? Or sugar free jello. She loves those things and rarely refuses them. And I can make it decaf and sugar free. Is there anything you can keep on hand that she likes and she can have?

And if she is having a tantrum, I quietly leave. If she asks where I am going I say, need to get the dishes done/check on laundry, Etc. Back in a flash. When I come back I pretend nothing happened.

Just like toddlers, they attempt the tantrum if they think it will get them what they want. If it works once, they will try it forever! Lol.

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