Dear Ms. HeartBeat:
Wedding season is right around the corner and I have to start shopping for gifts. What is your opinion on this gift registry thing? Are you a fan of it, or do you think it’s rude? Part of me thinks its probably a great way for a couple to get exactly what they want, but on the other hand, I think it’s a bit of an impersonal gift in my opinion.

What do you think?

Signed,
Wedding Gift Blues

Dear Wedding Gift Blues:
Giving a wedding gift is a tradition leftover from days when brides and grooms were straight out of high school or college, never lived on their own, and moved straight out of Mom and Dad’s house to start their life as a married couple. They needed towels, pots, pans, flatware, china, everyday place settings and everything else imaginable to set up their new household.

Well, HELLO! Those days have BEEN over.

Brides and grooms have premarital sex, live together, have hella children and own their own homes before marriage these days. Modern couples have nice furniture, plush towels, espresso makers, bread makers and HD flatscreens too. What do their greedy asses need a big fancy wedding and a wedding gift registry for? You already have what you need in your home, and you’ve enjoyed the pleasures of marital bliss for years!

A big fancy wedding and gift registry in these cases can only mean that two greedy ass people are looking to upgrade on my dime!

I see it like this: when you’ve been fornicating and living together, doing whatever you want to do for years like a married couple, you need to go buy your own household items like a married couple. Hmph!

I haven’t bought a wedding gift in years and have no intention of helping some people(that make more money than I do anyway) upgrade their household or have some extravagant vacation with the money that I worked for. I am not supporting your sex life. Do it yourself.

Comments (1)

Great response, MsHeartBeat. I have always felt strange about the prospect of giving a wedding gift. I don’t think I’m going to get married so it’s unlikely I’ll be gifted in return. And anyway, I need money to buy durable goods and provide financial security in my own, single life.

If I bring a gift, it’s usually in the form of something that can be appreciated on the occasion. I realize weddings are formal sometimes but I like bringing some beer or some food that I choose to share to a party so that those attending can appreciate them. I think that kind of gift can be good. I think that’s better than chipping in for whatever services they want to pay for.