How to Overcome Hard Times

Some of you may have noticed that it’s been awhile since my last post. The truth is that I started this blog as a way to help moms cope with the stress and overcome hard times of motherhood. I want to make life a little easier for you. Recently I’ve been struggling in my own life and until now I have been too afraid to talk about it. I figured no one cared about my problems and that they were only mine. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that this is exactly the reason I am here.

Life can be hard. Finances seem like they’re always tight and the house seems like it’s always a mess. Couples fight and kids throw temper tantrums. Being a mom is beautiful and wonderful and amazing but it’s also messy and hard and ugly sometimes. We want to provide for our children. To give them a better life than what we had. Yet sometimes we find ourselves just surviving and taking out our fear and anger and sleep deprivation on the people who are closest to us. Often our family. Sometimes when you’re in the middle of it everything looks very dark and it seems like things can’t get better. But they can and they will get better. Remember you are a strong, beautiful, amazing mom. I hope some of these ideas can help you in the same way they have helped me.

Reach out to someone who cares about you

This can be a parent, a spouse or boyfriend, a family member, or a friend. I know this is sometimes the hardest thing to do. I feel like I always have a brave face on and I don’t want to bother my loved ones with my issues, but if you are feeling sad, alone, stressed, or angry. Reach out and seek support. They can provide you with love and support and maybe even advice and understanding. So often we think that things in our lives only happen to us and forget that others might have weathered similar storms.

Write it down

Sometimes just the act of putting our thoughts and fears down on paper makes them seem less scary. You can walk through the thoughts and feelings you can even find a solution in breaking down the problem.

Break it down

Often times my darkest fears aren’t based on my actual situation but a worst case scenario of what could happen in a problem gets out of hand. For example, I’m worried that my 19-month-old is not verbal. In and of itself, it isn’t an insurmountable problem and while he is below average, his situation isn’t unique. The problem is I am thinking about what happens if he never develops the ability to communicate effectively and struggles with employment in the future because people will judge him. See how out of hand and unlikely that is. The more likely future will be that he is only slightly delayed and he will catch up in time or he will have to spend some time in speech therapy. Neither is a situation I can predict. Keeping the problem in the present reality is important.

Look for solutions

Whether the problem is you are unhappy with your job (like my husband), that you are not bringing in an adequate income (also a struggle we are currently battling) or you have a child that isn’t meeting milestones that you are concerned about, you should always spend more time focused on solutions as opposed to focusing on the problem. My husband is currently looking for other employment possibilities. I am currently taking on jobs that allow me to stay home with my son and make a small income during the time he is sleeping and I have made our pediatrician aware of the concerns I have about my son. Even if the solution is a compromise, such as me having to cut back on my blog and household duties in order to help financially, it is still a step in the right direction.

Step away

Sometimes just finding a way to focus on positive things can give you a new perspective. If you feel that you are overwhelmed and obsessed with an issue, try to step away and focus on the good in your life. Normally I make a point to spend extra time with my parents or friends and try to spend time on fun, sometimes trivial things that bring me joy. Then when I have a quiet minute, I can reevaluate the problem and often it doesn’t seem to have the same weight.

Get professional help

If you are struggling with a situation that truly is too big to handle, your best option is to get professional help. Whether that is a financial planner, a spiritual advisor, a career counselor, a mental health professional or your personal doctor. Some things require a special solution. Asking for help is often the strongest decision you can make.

Everyone (at one time or another) struggles. We all face challenges and lows in our lives that are difficult to work through. Sometimes we just need a little help to find a way out and other times we need a lot of help to get to the other side. But believe me when I say that there is another side. You are not alone and you will get through this. Reach out, work through it and give yourself a break. Life is hard, but I believe in you.

Love you all.

Here are some resources to help if you are struggling to overcome hard times. If you have an issue that isn’t addressed, let me know if I can help in the comments below and we can work through it together.

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Hey Mama!
I’m Amanda and I am so excited you are here.
I created Mommy Imagines as a destination for moms to find inspiration, understanding, entertainment, and advice. Here you will find a little bit of everything to do with motherhood: self-care for moms, products we love, time management tips, and so much more. This is a site designed to help lift you up, get your creativity flowing, and simplify your life.