Trouble logging in?We were forced to invalidate all account passwords. You will have to reset your password to login. If you have trouble resetting your password, please send us a message with as much helpful information as possible, such as your username and any email addresses you may have used to register. Whatever you do, please do not create a new account. That is not the right solution, and it is against our forum rules to own multiple accounts.

But even that doesn't excuse Taku, since territory and school are different, and someone who doesn't appear on the matching list is an even bigger concern than an enemy who physically attends the school.

Quote:

"Also, it seems he can reject challenges."

Now, how would they find out this little fact if he didn't appear on the matching list, aye?

Kendo practice occurs after school and often goes late into the evening. Taku didn't see a need to warn them at night when the danger was in the school itself.

To Chiyu, it simply seemed like a random challenge she lost until she realised both her friends were challenged by the same avatar on the school network.

Quote:

Wait, what is this about losing the Suginami territory? When did THAT happen?

The story doesn't take place in the Suginami you all know and love. It's set in the near future of the current light novel volume.

Quote:

It's somewhat ruined by the fact that you skip completely over a fight in which Black Lotus could only manage a draw.

I understand that trying to depict a fight between two Level 9 avatars is daunting, since we don't know all of what Lotus or Level 8 characters can do, but at least some effort should be made.

I made the decision to skip over the fight for now because it lengthens the chapter and doesn't add any advancement to the plot line. I have plans to include it as a short story, however, once I have completed this.

Quote:

I wonder if she could return Scarlet Rain's armor to storage?

I think her Citron Call might be limited in size too, or else it would simply be ridiculously overpowered.

Now, how would they find out this little fact if he didn't appear on the matching list, aye?

Takumu was challenged in the school. What did he and the others do the LAST time that someone did that? They checked the matching list to confirm that there was a new Burst Linker in their campus, because that's a really big deal.

Also, because it's possible to get your points back if you immediately challenge the winner and fight him again. Or at least, you can learn more about him from another loss, or just from getting him to talk in the middle of a fight.

There's also the problems they just recently had with Noumi, which would make Takumu especially more likely to check the matching list to make sure they're not dealing with another cheater.

Particularly because Takumu was a cheater himself who likewise evaded the matching list. Remember that backdoor program he used? It was an even bigger cheat, since he could challenge people in one zone without even physically entering that zone.

So yeah, he'd check the damn list.

And because he doesn't want to deal with another him or another Noumi, when he didn't see Duke on the list, he would have contacted his teammates MUCH MORE URGENTLY.

But regardless of his findings, he would have immediately informed everyone in his legion about Orange Duke, if only because another Burst Linker in the school is a big security risk -- the person could learn who they are and give that information away.

Quote:

Kendo practice occurs after school and often goes late into the evening. Taku didn't see a need to warn them at night when the danger was in the school itself.

That's silly in and of itself, since "late into the evening" doesn't mean "already in bed asleep". That is NOT too late to warn anyone of anything.

But even then, he didn't warn them in the morning? Before walking to school, or meeting them at the school gates before they entered the school network?

Quote:

The story doesn't take place in the Suginami you all know and love. It's set in the near future of the current light novel volume.

Ah, spoilers. Dammit.

Quote:

I think her Citron Call might be limited in size too, or else it would simply be ridiculously overpowered.

My point being that he did. If he didn't check the list and tried to challenge Duke again, he wouldn't have found out that Duke was capable of rejecting their challenges.

Quote:

That's silly in and of itself, since "late into the evening" doesn't mean "already in bed asleep". That is NOT too late to warn anyone of anything.

Yes, but at that point of time the threat is already over. Taku is not someone who would disturb others before thinking whether he actually needs to. He assessed the situation and decided that they could afford to wait for tomorrow, because Duke would not be able to attack them while they were connected to their own home network.

Furthermore, if at that point of time Duke had already known their identities, there is nothing they could have done that would stop him from spreading it if he wanted to.

Quote:

But even then, he didn't warn them in the morning? Before walking to school, or meeting them at the school gates before they entered the school network?

There wasn't a point. Warning them wouldn't have made a difference since the only thing Duke was capable of at the moment was challenging them. Even if they had expected a challenge, there was nothing they could have done to better prepare themselves due to what little they know of Duke. As such, it wasn't worth the hassle to meet up and use what little time they had before school started to discuss. If they did indeed discussed, they would have had to discuss at the corridors since there wasn't enough time for them to find an empty room, which would have exposed their identities if Duke had been nearby and is therefore counterproductive.

Quote:

Ah, spoilers. Dammit.

Don't worry though, since that information has already been revealed in the story itself. I simply made you realise it.

The remaining hours in the school day passed by without much incident. This meant time seemed to slow to a stop.

Haruyuki was glad for this, however, as secretly, he dreaded having to see his teacher. Though he meant well, he was notorious in the school for his long, drawn out talks.

But the time eventually came, and Haruyuki found himself standing in front of the staff room door. After sending an email to his teacher to report his presence, the door slid open, squeaking as it fought against the friction of its frame.

Walking over to his teacher's desk, Haruyuki took note of his surroundings.

The staff room was a rather small area, but the advent of the Neuro Linker meant that there was no longer a need for bulky desktops, or even desk space, for that matter, as each teacher could simply mark assignments right in their Neuro Linker. This meant that the school was able to accommodate all of the teachers in the same room. Each of them were given a small desk, though this was more for aesthetics rather than to serve any practical purpose.

The entire room was an off-white colour. Whether this was by design or age, Haruyuki couldn't tell.

At the adjacent desk, another teacher was speaking to a student with an orange wristband.

Haruyuki readied himself for the verbal torture as he drew nearer to his teacher's desk.
__________________________

Haruyuki exited the staff room, relieved that the talk was finally over. He made his way to the room where the four of them usually gathered to discuss anything related to Brain Burst. He had informed them beforehand that he was going to be late and to start without him. As he opened the door, he was greeted by the scene of Kuroyukihime and Chiyuri in the middle of a fervent discussion.

"But there isn't any real need for him to do so if he can simply reject challenges."

"You're forgetting that all of the Acceleration Research Group members we have met so far have had Brain Implant Chips. Even if there was no need for him to mask his avatar name on the matching list, it would have occurred by default if he had been using the Brain Implant Chip. It might be possible that he had simply opted not to have one installed considering the dangers, but judging from how cautious the Acceleration Research Group is, they would have made him use a masking program to substitute. We cannot just ignore the fact that his name appears on the matching list when there is no incentive for him in allowing this."

"That Orange Duke must be physically present and is therefore a student here," said Haruyuki, finishing Takumu's sentence for him as he sat down.

"But it's the middle of the third school term. If he was a first-year student, why wait until now to strike? Why not do so together with the rest of the Acceleration Research Group when they seized our territory? Nothing has changed since then that would give him a reason to attack only now."

"Master! What if Duke wasn't a first-year student? What if he was a transfer student?"

"You're right! That might be a possibility, and it would make his identity much easier to find!"

Kuroyukihime immediately accessed the school database. Being the vice-president of the Student Council came with its privileges.

"There's only been one transfer student this term, from Shibuya."

Kuroyukihime sent the student profile via email to everyone in the room.

"Yamamoto... Renji..." Haruyuki read the name aloud.

Nothing could prepare Haruyuki for what he saw next.

In his student profile picture, on his left arm, Renji wore an orange wristband.

"What's wrong, Haru? Why do you have such a strange expression on your face?"

Chiyuri was more observant than she seemed.

"I saw him when I met the teacher just now but..."

"But?"

"Something's wrong here. This is too easy."

"Haru's right. The Acceleration Research Group is way more cautious than that," Takumu agreed.

"But all of the evidence points to Yamamoto as Duke," Chiyuri protested.

"Yes, but we need to know more. Yamamoto came from Shibuya. That's Great Wall territory. Grande might know something. We'll adjourn for now while I arrange for an audience with him," Kuroyukihime said, ending the meeting.
__________________________

The Demonic City stage. Even today, shrouded in mist, Black Lotus still found the field elements as mesmerizing as ever.

"Clank...clank...clank...clank..."

Lotus turned as she heard the familiar, heavy footsteps and clatter of thick armour plates striking each other, seeing a large, emerald green avatar pushing through the mist. Lotus had fought alongside Green Grande on multiple occasions before her self-imposed exile from Brain Burst. Each and every time, she was impressed by his martial prowess. Though Grande's specialty was his signature unbreakable defence, which earned him the nickname 'Invulnerable', his skills at offense was nothing to be scoffed at, being an adept at wielding his shield, the Strife, as a blunt weapon. It was because of this relationship as comrades that Grande had granted her his audience. Had it been any of the other Kings beside Scarlet Rain, Lotus was sure they would have rejected her outright, having no care for her legion's issues.

Lotus bowed as Grande stopped in front of her. Acknowledging her gesture of respect, Grande gave a sharp nod.

Lotus knew Grande was a man of few words, so she wasted no time with the formalities and started to explain the situation.

"Starting from yesterday, members of my legion were challenged by a Duel Avatar while connected to our school network. As you know, Nega Nebulous is currently undergoing a crisis, our territory having been seized by the Acceleration Research Group. This avatar, Orange Duke..."

Upon hearing the name, Grande stiffened up.

"Is something wrong?"

Grande shook his head, gesturing for her to continue.

"As I was saying, this avatar, Orange Duke, was able to reject our challenges, marking him out as a member of the Acceleration Research Group..."

Whatever it was that Lotus had said, it shocked Grande into responding.

"No... It can't be..."

"What's the matter?"

"Back in the early days of the Accelerated World, back when the title 'King' didn't exist, there was a Duel Avatar who was considered among the strongest in the game, an avatar who was closest back then to what we would call a 'King'. His name was Orange Duke. Many looked to him for guidance. When his following grew and he reached level 7, he established the Accelerated World's first legion, Milky Way. Dedicated to helping other avatars, each and every one was welcomed into Milky Way. He was a friend to all, including myself. We used to party and hunt Enemies, my defence locking the aggro of the Enemy while his sentry turrets slowly wore them down. We reached level 7 together but not long after, we parted ways. I never saw him since."

"From your description, it doesn't seem likely that he would be helping out an organisation like the Acceleration Research Group, yet that is the only way he could possibly reject challenges. Even the Acceleration Research Group wouldn't have the capabilities to overwrite such an important game feature, not to mention they have no need to use such a hack, if it even existed, because most of them don't even appear on the matching list."

"That is true, but you have to take my word for it. Whatever Duke is doing, it isn't to help the Acceleration Research Group. He loves the game and the people here too much to do such a thing."
__________________________

This was perplexing. While evidence marked out Duke as an ARG goon, his history said otherwise.

Kuroyukihime decided the best course of action was to challenge Duke and ask him herself, hoping that his desire for a rematch would win out and stop him from rejecting her challenge. She let out a sigh of relief when she saw Duke's name on the matching list, signifying that he had yet to leave the school, even at such a late time.

Fortunately for her, her intuition was right. Duke accepted her challenge and she readied herself for possible combat as her form changed for the third time today, though it was unlikely to happen.
__________________________

It seemed that today was her lucky day, as the 'Ghost Ship' stage came up. Being the smallest of all stages, it would be much easier to question Duke here.

"Yo, Black Queen. Though I shouldn't call you that, should I? It would imply that you're the wife of that bastard Black King."

Both sides had won each other's respect in their previous duel and it seemed that Duke was starting to get chummy with her.

If Black Lotus had eyebrows, they would be raised.

"I am the Black King."

"Eh? This is getting confusing. I thought the title of King only applied to level 9 Legion Masters? If so, then..."

Duke's hand made some gestures. No doubt he was bringing up her stats screen.

"Oh, so you're level 9 too. Wait, if you're the Black King, what would that make Black Vice?"

Black Vice? It was starting to make sense now. The "Black King" Duke had been referring to had in fact been the vice-president of the ARG, Black Vice. She could see how he could have made the mistake, Vice bearing the same colour as Lotus herself, though it would mean that he was incredibly ignorant about the matters of the Accelerated World. It was a known fact that the title of 'Black King' belonged to Lotus and Lotus alone.

"A coward cheater." The contempt in her voice was unmistakable.

"Coward cheater. Hahaha, that's a good one. Yes, that's what he is. A coward cheater. Someone like him isn't worthy of the title 'King'," replied Duke.

"It seems we have a common enemy. If you would like, how about we meet up in real life in room A-6 during lunch tomorrow? I have many things I would like to discuss."

"Thank you for the offer, but how do I know I can trust you? It is taboo for a linker to reveal his identity in real life."

"To prove my sincerity, I will reveal my own identity to you right now. I am Kuroyukihime, vice-president of the student council."

"How do I know you're not lying? If you're really the vice-president, you would know my identity already."

"And I do, Yamamoto-san."

Impressed, Duke started a slow applause.

"Well played, as expected from someone with the title of 'Black King'. Very well, I will meet you tomorrow during lunch."

Sending a request to end the duel in a draw, Duke gave a small bow of farewell, which Lotus returned.

The tides were changing. If Duke became their ally, Nega Nebulous would stand a greater chance of wresting back their territory.
__________________________

Trivia: The titles of Duke and Grande are counterparts in the English and Spanish aristocracy respectively.
__________________________

Note: For those of you wondering, Kuroyukihime accelerated right outside the school gate when she was meeting up with Grande to connect to the global network. After their meeting, she then returned to school in order to challenge Duke.

Anyway, I want to submit my OC for checking. Couldn't really get any on of the FFnet RP moderators to help me out, so, here goes:

Normal life:

Name: Kousaka Kyousuke (高坂 京介)

Age: 10

Gender: Male

Appearance: Have you watched OreImo? Just picture a ten-year-old Kyousuke with the same bored look.

Biography and personality:

He wasn’t always mentally scarred; at first, he was friendly to others and thus avoided bullying pretty easily. A little taller than average helps too. So he rarely plays games other than Touhou danmaku, preferring to read books and stuff. His habit is to keep his Neuro Linker on standby.

His motivation for Brain Burst was initially because he believed it would heal him after the traumatic incident two weeks before he received BB, which scarred him for life. His younger sister Kousaka Shino was attacked and about to get raped after school. Kyousuke tracked her down and intervened because they were in the middle of a call when she got cut off. Using an old garbage lid, Kyousuke went insane, and attacked the three men at once. Despite sustaining and inflicting multiple injuries, he was about to kill one of the attackers just as police appeared and stopped him.

He knows Green Grande personally as he is a third-generation Burst Linker; his parent is Green Grande's child, Magnesium Drake (conjecture strictly for fanfic sake.)

Since then. he has withdrawn from talking with Shino at first, but gradually opened up after she hugged him one night and confessed that she had never thanked him properly for that day. This affirms Kyousuke's wish to protect Shino from anything and everything.

Brain Burst Duel Avatar

Name: Turquoise Protector (ターコイズ・プロテクター)

Analysis: Blue-green with high colour saturation. Strength is combination of close-range affinity and high defense.

Appearance: Short avatar with light armour covering some parts of the body. Several shades of cyan result in a mostly turquoise-coloured avatar.

TP's potential is concentrated in his two shields, each is an Enhanced Armament. The left shield is fixed to his forearm and is mainly used offensively. The right shield is held in his right hand and is mostly used for defense. Both shields are identical, six-sided asymmetrical hexagonal plates emblazoned with a turquoise crystal cross symbol. One side is elongated to accommodate the cross symbol.
Since all of TP's potential is concentrated in his shields, his avatar alone is far weaker than a normal close-range avatar. Without shields, TP's defense is laughable and his attacks are pathetic. If he unequips his shields, he has literally zero moves.

Moves will be later. For now I need someone to point out Gary Stu, OP, or unbalanced.

Last edited by Tusjecht; 2013-01-12 at 02:40.
Reason: fixed a careless typo

Anyway, I want to submit my OC for checking. Couldn't really gety on of the FFnet RP moderators to help me out

Time to return the favor then.

Quote:

Age: 10

Quote:

His younger sister Kousaka Shino was attacked and about to get raped after school. Kyousuke tracked her down and intervened because they were in the middle of a call when she got cut off. Using an old garbage lid, Kyousuke went insane, and attacked the three men at once. Despite sustaining and inflicting multiple injuries, he was about to kill one of the attackers just as police appeared and stopped him.

It's highly improbable that a 10-year old would be able to take on three full grown men armed with only a garbage lid. Even if he is slightly taller than his peers, the men would still tower over him. Not to mention he's outnumbered 3 to 1. Also, what's a kid that's younger than 10 doing outside alone?

Quote:

Several shades of cyan result in a mostly turquoise-coloured avatar.

Several seems to suggest more than three. Most avatars are at most two shades of their colour (Cyan Pile, Silver Crow) with a single, contrasting or complementary colour that does not represent any of the avatar's capabilities (Green gems on Crow, light blue on Pile, purple on Lotus).

Quote:

For now I need someone to point out Gary Stu, OP, or unbalanced.

Need moves to point out if OP or unbalanced. For now, from his trauma he's a bit of a Stu. If he can take on 3 grown men at 10 years old, he'll be able to wrestle a pack of wolves all at once at 15 and win.

The Gary Stu label has always left me a little confused on the lower end of things.

That for example, a little boy who's body has almost wasted away from multiple sclerosis, living only on extraordinary life support (handwaved to be less delibitating by advances in medicine), funded by the state because his dad's a jailed punk and his single mother committed suicide to escape the debt.

"Today "Mary Sue" carries a connotation of wish-fulfillment and is commonly associated with self-insertion (the writing of oneself into a fictional story). True self-insertion is a literal and generally undisguised representation of the author; most characters described as "Mary Sues" are not, though they are often called "proxies" for the author. The negative connotation comes from this "wish-fulfillment" implication: the "Mary Sue" is judged a poorly developed character, too perfect and lacking in realism to be interesting."

It's highly improbable that a 10-year old would be able to take on three full grown men armed with only a garbage lid. Even if he is slightly taller than his peers, the men would still tower over him. Not to mention he's outnumbered 3 to 1. Also, what's a kid that's younger than 10 doing outside alone?

He's outside there, so to say, because he was talking with Shino on the phone, or rather neuro linker. The call got cut off and she never returned the call, nor could he call her. Thanks for pointing out.

I admit taking on three grown men is OP...ah, this was an earlier plan. I'm changing it so that he lost outright. Gotta clean up my drafts.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Orange Duke

Need moves to point out if OP or unbalanced. For now, from his trauma he's a bit of a Stu. If he can take on 3 grown men at 10 years old, he'll be able to wrestle a pack of wolves all at once at 15 and win.

"Today "Mary Sue" carries a connotation of wish-fulfillment and is commonly associated with self-insertion (the writing of oneself into a fictional story). True self-insertion is a literal and generally undisguised representation of the author; most characters described as "Mary Sues" are not, though they are often called "proxies" for the author. The negative connotation comes from this "wish-fulfillment" implication: the "Mary Sue" is judged a poorly developed character, too perfect and lacking in realism to be interesting."

So no, he wouldn't be a Gary Stu.

Heck, if I was representing myself, that's an interesting~ childhood I had, eh?

Also duke, you don't find anything wrong with how closely connected he is with Great Wall leaders?

Last edited by Tusjecht; 2013-01-12 at 02:47.
Reason: Avoiding a triple post

Heck, if I was representing myself, that's an interesting~ childhood I had, eh?

"True self-insertion is a literal and generally undisguised representation of the author; most characters described as "Mary Sues" are not, though they are often called "proxies" for the author."

Quote:

Also duke, you don't find anything wrong with how closely connected he is with Great Wall leaders?

You're talking to the guy who made Duke an old party member of Grande.

But anyway, I understand your decision to do so. I've read the synopsis of your story already, and him having Magnesium Drake as his parents does fit into the story, like what I did with my own characters. Duke has a powerful connection, but it isn't there just for the sake of it. It advances the story line.

On a side note, I've edited all 4 chapters of my story to hopefully tie up some more possible loose ends. All of the loose ends are expected to be tied up in the next chapter after which we will move on to the actual meat of the story. I'm not much of an action writer, so hopefully I don't screw this up. Also, what are your options on the twists and turns? Are they any good? I would like to know what I'm doing right, if anything.

Ah well. Though from what you've posted in the fanfic thread your OC seems to be more centered on defense. If that's the case then he wouldn't be able to have sword skills rivaling that of Blue Knight himself.

I did know about the sword skills and that Blue Knight beats CD3, but exactly what did that mean? The chinese text (search 'magnesium drake on google, first result) reads "三代目名字未知。拥有一度可与青之王比肩的双手剑剑技,最后在他的剑下退场。" The last two words, 退场, literally means 'left the battlefield'. It does not exactly say that CD3 had his BB uninstalled, instead leaving it rather ambiguous.

[Need to correct you one one thing, Duke. The sword that CDs use is not the Star caster per se, but think of it as Star Caster + The Destiny = The Disaster + Sword.]

Furthermore, whether the original avatar is offensive or defensive in nature doesn't seem to matter for now. First CD had Star Caster, and after he fused it into the Disaster Armour he was able to kill hundreds of avatars in his rage. The rage-fuelled attacks of CD are more than enough to make up for no sword. Don't forget that by CD5, he can use flame breath and drain. Funny that in the anime he ran away after losing his sword.

Blue knight, I am inclined to believe, is also not as strong as he is as a King. The Kings hit level 9 around the time of the 4th CD, (somewhere I read RR took part in the 4th's hunt), and nowhere can I find when Knight obtained The Impulse. The requirements to obtain it suggest he probably did so at a very high level, probably 7 or 8, if not after reaching level 9.

These, combined with the fact that having The Disaster equipped boosts your ability by 2-3 levels easily, should explain why my OC+Disaster will be able to cross swords with Knight on an even match.

Furthermore, whether the original avatar is offensive or defensive in nature doesn't seem to matter for now.

Perhaps, but from the way your OC is set up, he isn't going to be using swords, which the 3rd CD has been confirmed to be using. Not to mention the sword skills are actually as inherent a part of the original avatar that became the 3rd CD as Flame Breath was to Magnesium Drake, or Flash Blink to Chrom Falcon. That's why it was stored and passed on in the Disaster.

Quote:

I did know about the sword skills and that Blue Knight beats CD3, but exactly what did that mean? The chinese text (search 'magnesium drake on google, first result) reads "三代目名字未知。拥有一度可与青之王比肩的双手剑剑技,最后在他的剑下退场。" The last two words, 退场, literally means 'left the battlefield'. It does not exactly say that CD3 had his BB uninstalled, instead leaving it rather ambiguous.

I think it's safe to say that CD3 had BB uninstalled. If there was a way to cure a CD without erasing him, no doubt Niko would have gone for that method rather than uninstalling her own parent.

Quote:

On a side note, does anyone here kill your OCs? I know for one Churchblue would faint at least if I asked him to kill an OC :P

Nobody has so far as far as Accel World is concerned because there's so much more one can write about given the sheer magnitude of the Accelerated World. Unless one is absolutely sure he isn't going to continue writing the fanfic, it would be a better course of action to leave your OC alive.

That user should be correct. All words in a title are capitalised for...presentation's sake I guess? I mean, you would write it as My Little Sister Can't Be This Cute, not My little sister can't be this cute.

[Sideswipe] - TP holds right shield upright, and swipes from right to left OR left to right. If from left to right, can chain to [Thrust]. The idea is to not staying still and tanking, but deflecting a hit to the side.

[Thrust] - TP uses his left shield to thrust at opponent. Can be used while lunging.

[Dual] (Level 4) - Right shield rotates, fixes to TP's right forearm, so he has got two shields doubling as offensive weapons now. While this move is active, [Block] cannot be used.

Special Moves:

[Double Thrust] - TP brings right shield over to his left, and thrusts with both shields. Limited range, blasts back on contact. I don't know how to explain how it looks any better.
[Maybe I could find a good deviantartist to draw TP art, any suggestion?]

You mentioned dual-wielding earlier, Duke. If you've played Halo before, I guess the best way to describe this is twin energy swords?

This part might be OP. TP is essentially able to defend and attack simultaneously. The balancing point is that if he drops a shield or two, his ability drops to zero and he's as good as dead. This is inspiration from Graphite Edge aka Glass Cannon, all his ability invested in his diamond swords but can die by a red avatar's punch.