Humor

The English word “computer” is translated as “computadora” in Spanish – but there are probably not many reasons why you should care. (There might be at least one reason why you should.)

Okay! In the interest of being ‘wise as serpents,’ it’s time to poke a little fun. Back in September of last year I made a post to my blog entitled “RFID, Mondex, Verichip, and the Antichrist.” When I wrote that little blurb I had no idea that it would be so significant a step in leading me to blog heaven. Now, months later, it is still (by far) my most popular post. Entering key words from that title into your Google search engine will quickly lead you to my site. As alluded to, in my responses to that post, I have the opinion that many come to my blog looking for support for sensationalism: Finding none, they go away disappointed. I have no desire to disappoint so perhaps some humor will sweeten the pie.

When you Google on these subjects you don’t have to dig far before you reach some pretty fantastic claims. People being shot with RFID guns and their every move traced; people having been implanted with a chip during surgery; people who are hounded by government agents because they masturbated in their basement.While you’re at it, don’t miss the carefully prepared, many page, report that traces the lineage of HRH Prince Charles and proves that he also is, in very fact, that bad guy.

The other day I discovered, what for me, was a new one. Someone (using a computer to do it) claimed that computers were the Antichrist. That claim, in itself, isn’t new: How the researcher arrived at such spectacular knowledge is what surprised me. By taking the word ‘computer’ and assigning a numeric value based on each letter’s placement in the English alphabet, someone determined that the values totaled one hundred-eleven. That number, taken times 6, yields the magic number. Ergo: the next time, buy a ‘computadora’ from Spain or Mexico. There, the magic number comes out as 762 and you’re safe. (Wonder what it would be in Japanese.)

Who has time to dream up this hogwash and peddle it in the name of Christ? Is there any surprise that we Christians lose our creditability before the world? JJB

There was a time when my Dad and Albert C. Miller felt that they had a lot of reasons to be in the same car and going to the same places. Usually that car would have been Albert C’s car, which would more than likely have been a big old Hudson. Large V-8 engine, lots of chrome and a ride like a boat.Albert C’s car had only two speeds, fast and faster. While Dad liked being with his buddy, he did not always care for the way he drove.

One day they were once again flying down some country road. Dad gripping the seat with white knuckles, decided that enough was enough, and he probably was due to say something.

“Albert,” Dad said, “Just exactly what would you do if a cow walked out on the road on the other side of this hill?”

Albert C. never flinched. The gas pedal stayed where it had been. “Oh Jakie relax.” Albert replied, “At the rate we are going we’d get there long before the cow.”