Pages

Monday, June 20, 2011

Uncle Guido: Evo Morales, Chickens, and Homosexuality

See the article below from the NYT on Evo Morales’s statement that eating chickens causes homosexuality and baldness. Uncle Guido has always known that eating chickens causes homosexuality; but it has nothing to do with the female hormones. It has to do with the chickens themselves which are female; and real men have known for a long time that you have to eat only roosters (cocks) to be virile. In fact in one region of Bolivia in the Amazon near Trinidad, there is a Perdue-style rooster farm which sells to the wealthy of Santa Cruz. Actually, it is really a chicken farm where they sell both chickens and roosters. The chickens go to the altiplano and the roosters go to Santa Cruz which has reputedly the most beautiful women in Bolivia if not the entire South American continent. The Cruzenos have created a number of recipes for rooster, all of which require a lot of boiling. They don’t come out exactly tender, but less stringy than if you cook them like chickens.

What the article does not say is that thanks to Evo Morales, the Bolivian government has contracted a European high-tech firm, SwissGen, to work on asexual reproduction in roosters. Apparently, according to a Government press release (La Prensa, March 11, 2011), the project is going along well with a few unexpected bumps in the road which have turned out to be very positive. “We had too many hermaphroditic roosters”, said Jean Flichter, Chief of Research and Development. They were neither here nor there, so to speak; but then we found with a bit more tinkering we could get them to impregnate themselves with only YY chromosomes thus guaranteeing male offspring”

And this discovery led to a viral show on YouTube, for the act of auto-impregnation is very funny – think the spastic chicken dance at the end of Herzog’s Strozscek referenced below

In any case, once again politicians statements are always taken out of context, and of course, given our PC culture, the focus was on homosexuality rather than on the very innovative thinking of the President.

Evo Morales: 'Chicken causes baldness and homosexuality'

April 23, 2010 | 10:17 am

If you don't want to end up bald or gay, don't eat chicken, says Bolivian President Evo Morales. Speaking at an environmental conference this week in Cochabamba, Bolivia, (officially titled the World People's Conference on Climate Change and the Rights of Mother Earth) Morales told attendees in an inaugural address that chicken producers inject female hormones into the fowl, "and because of that, men who consume them have problems being men."

Thousands at the conference reportedly laughed -- perhaps nervously -- when Morales made the statements. He also said hormone-injected chicken causes young girls' breasts to grow prematurely, according to Noticias 24.

The Associated Press notes that most Western countries ban hormone injections in chicken, but Morales, Bolivia's first indigenous president, also went on to diagnose the practice as the cause of male baldness. "Baldness, which seems normal, is a sickness in Europe," he said. "Almost everyone is bald. And that's because of what they eat."

The Bolivian president pointed to his own shock of thick black hair as proof. No sign of baldness on his head, Morales said.

A gay-rights advocacy group in Spain sent a letter of protest in response to Morales' statements to Bolivia's embassy in Madrid, but otherwise, reaction on the international level has been somewhat muted.

The Cochabamba conference ended Thursday with accords calling for industrialized nations to "change the system of capitalism that is imposed upon us."