2013年10月1日 星期二

Should extramarital affairs be accepted?

Most
people cannot recognize extramarital affairs because no one wants to share his
or her spouse with someone else. Since they signify being unfaithful to one’s
partner, they are usually considered to be immoral or even culpable. But as far
as I am concerned, extramarital affairs are provided with something positive
and meaningful. So, my point is people should not completely exclude infidelity;
instead, we should accept the truth that it is really needed in our society.

Let us face it: there is no perfect marriage.
Originally, “in love” feelings do not last forever.

And when they disappear, we should realize that loving feeling takes a lot of work, so we must start working at a relationship right away.However, when someone ask "why can't you just get a divorce?" There are a couple of reasons for not doing so. First,
the kids. Being hurt by the closest people in the world, they will move on
someday but be affected by it forever. Second, livelihood. It is not easy for a
woman, who quits her job after getting married to make her career. What’s
more, there is still discrimination towards single parent and the children. It
causes them to lose self-confidence and thus influences their future development.
The reasons above make extramarital affairs
being needed. For those who
have too much concern to get divorced, infidelity is a good means to save the
situation. It
can be a warning for your spouse to face the problems in the marriage. For
example, by doing this, you can show what the family will be like when you are
not part of it, which implies your importance. And if you have already known
your partner cheating on you, by doing this, you are taking revenge on him or
her. Furthermore,
there are several advantages of extramarital affairs. People who engage in
infidelity, start learning how to dress up and tend to be more appealing and
charming. This helps them retrieve self-confidence and self-worth which they
lose from unhappy marriage. And
also, according to a novel(失樂園) written by a Japanese writer,
people who have extramarital affairs promote finances of the society. They fall
in love again and thus start learning how to enjoy their lives.

18 則留言:

In the second part, you said that single parent will be looked down. So the reason is for not to have extramarial affairs or get divorced? The person who has extramarital affair probably will not be the single parent, because she/ he finds out new one. or you mean the affair is not enough for the two to get together?And I think the sentence is a little strange- " Second, livelihood. It is not easy for a woman, who quits her job after getting married to make her career."to make her career what? So you surppose that it is not easy for women get divorced once they have extramarital affairs? then I want to know if this situation happens to men?

I agree that there is not perfect marriage, but I think extramarital affair should not be the solution. If once the "in love" loses then you go to find a person, I think there is no reason for getting married.

I think if you want to talk about " why those who have extramarital affairs can not get divorced", then you should mention it before. Because not all people think remaining marriage is the best way to solve extramarital affairs. And I didn't see enough points to support you this object. It looks like " should people decide to get divorce once they have extramarital affairs" instead of whether extramarital affairs should be accepted.

ok! I understand your questions. First, I think single parent and their children are disadvantaged in the society. For a single parent, it is really exhausting to support a family by oneself. As for the children, it is very likely that they are laughed for losing one parent by their classmates. And second, that sentence means that women who quit their job before is hard to find a job or make it successful if they find one since they leave the workplace for too long. And last,I will organize my article again. Thanks for your comments!

I agree with you that extramarital affairs helps people retrieve self-confidence and self-worth which they lose from unhappy marriage But in paragraph two,I think ''Second, livelihood. It is not easy for a woman, who quits her job after getting married to make her career.'' is a discrimination to women because not every woman quit her job after getting married and who says it is not easy for woman to find a job. And to me, your statement seems to express that woman is the one be discarded in her marriage instead of the one finding her new lover and happiness so woman is not easy for livelihood.You discuss why people can't just get a divorce but I think no divorce can not completely support your point of accepting extramarital affairs since divorce involves many aspects such as personality differences, financial problems and so on. not just extramarital affairs. And trying to remain a marriage does not means extramarital affairs is the only thing needed.

yes!You are right about not every case is correspond to my point. That is why we will write annotation later. So I will find some real cases as examples to support my idea. Thanks for your comments anyway:)

In second paragragh, you mentioned that why people should not get divorced was because kids would be hurt. However, in my opinion, the children who live under parents who don't have a good relationship would still not be happy. Because no one could pretend nothing happened after he/she found out his/her spouse having an affair. Therefore, I think I will feel relieved if my parents can separate instead of seeing them fight or ignore each other everyday. I really don't want them to live in pain just because they want to remain their marrige for me. Also, a poor marriage can affect children's future development as well, even more seriously than single parents.

But at least they will not be laughed about having no mother or father by their classmates. No kid will be not hurt when he or she knows that his/her parents get a divorce; after all, they have happy times before. Thanks for your comments anyway~

In the second paragraph, what does "loving feeling takes a lot of work, so we must start working at a relationship right away" mean?And I think that the revenge is not the advantage, because it will hurt the both sides in this marital relationship.

It means that when we know the feelings are gone, we should pay attention and do something for this relationship. And you are right about that both may be hurt. But extramarital affairs, in the mean time, give the one who does it first a warning that stop doing this or show the one that I can do it too.Thanks for your comments:)

Although I stand against the extramarital affairs, I still like your article. Your second paragraph is quite interesting. In the form of conversation, which avoid the problem monotonous, you do answer some of my doubt upon this issue. But I think U can still make your thesis stronger. Since it is quite a controversial issue( If my knowledge serve me, there is almost no country regards extramarital affairs as legal stuff), you may need some more concrete evidence such as psychology proof.

You argument is brave and impressive. It really points out some new ideas that I didn’t discover before.In your last paragraph, you mentioned that people who engaged in infidelity may be an advantage to themselves. Also, you said the “in love” feelings don’t exist forever in the second paragraph. So I was wondering if you agree that people should keep changing their partners continuously in order to keep in love feelings all the time?

First, thank for your compliment.And to answer your question, for unmarried couple, it is ok to change partners. As for married couple, if there is no sparks in their marriage, I will suggest them to reach a consensus. Like an agreement that on the basis of both bringing up the children if they have and maintaining family's atmosphere, each other can develop their own relationship .

Your article provides me a different point of view on extramarital affairs, like the connection between being in a new relationship and economic growth. This is something I never thought of before. However I think involve someone else in the family will cause a greater damage and that revenge isn't the best way to solve the problem.

But I think if the couple reach an agreement that each other can has his/her relationship only if it cannot affect the kids or the atmosphere of the family, then adultery works. Thanks for your comments anyway:)

You said that kids would be hurt if their parents get divorced. But when their parents have extramarital affairs, pretending that they are still love each other, the kid can be happy?I also disagree to take extramarital affairs as a revenge.

I think the children can have a normal and happy growing process if they don't know the adultery thing and believe that their family is perfect and has no problems. There is no kid who wants a broken family. Although this case may make him or her become more independent than other children, he /she must feel lonely from the bottom of his/her heart. Thanks for your comments anyway:)