Sunday, September 09, 2007

I'm a little down today. I've been reading a few articles recently that were beautifully written; instead of spuring me on, they've made me feel small. How can I compete with that? I can't be that original, I can't express myself that eloquently.

But the articles have merely stoked the FEAR. The FEAR was planted exactly one minute after I finished my first draft. First came elation; then came dread. What if I couldn't rewrite it properly? I was sure to make a mess of it, I'd never edited a novel before. I'd always had to grip my desk with both hands to stop me from leaving an exam before checking my work. Now not only do I have to re-read my awful blathering, I actually have to point out how terrible it is and then attempt to write something better. How the hell did I ever think I could do this?

Some days are just paralysing - my brain goes blank after reading a stunning piece of prose and I feel like an imposter who's going to be found out any minute and carted away for crimes against writing. So you're definitely not alone in this! Every writer is their own worst critic. (And I love that Bill Oddie quote!)

But Laurie's advice is very good. This is about your voice, your creation. Don't let the fear stop you in your tracks when you've come this far on your journey. (That last bit sounds naff but you know what I mean...)