The benefits of forgiveness

Clients who have endured early-life traumatic experiences, domestic violence and other dehumanizing events have taught me the importance of genuine forgiveness.

I’m not referring to the “turn the other cheek” variety, though that has its place in our oftentimes brutal world. I’ve seen the continued harm resulting from people who hold themselves responsible for the violating, violent, abusive deeds of others. While this assumption of blame is itself a coping mechanism, a way that people survive by assuming some degree of psychological control or preserving a fantasy image of loved ones who perpetrate harm, in the end, it wrecks havoc emotionally and perpetuates the harm already done. Self blame makes one feel more inadequate and defective; it sustains shame.

This short item on self forgiveness is a worthy read for those healing from paralytic harm and those of us fortunate to have safe childhoods and loving, protective families.