The Virtual Fuel Matrix

I have stated on many occasions that technology not only extends our reach but enables us to identify a multiplicity of targets. This enables us to home in on potential targets with greater ease, gather intelligence about them for the purposes of aiding our ensnarement of the target, maintain our grip even when we are not physically proximate and gather fuel when not in the same room as the relevant appliance.

Yet, is technology merely an extension to our existing needs and manipulations, as opposed to a substitute? Might we ensnare somebody who lives thousands of miles from us, on the other side of the planet? If we do so, how does that fit into our fuel matrix? What is that person to us? How does the dynamic play out and what does this mean for the empath?

Naturally, the increase in technological reach, its ease and frequency of availability means that we are going to avail ourselves of this development in attending to our needs. We will use this technology in three main ways.

Firstly, where we have ensnared individuals who we interact with in a physical proximate fashion, we use technology to maintain our hold and to manipulate. Thus, we have an Intimate Partner Primary Source (“IPPS”) who we see most days in the flesh, but we send text messages, speak by telephone, engage in FaceTime conversations and use e-mail to draw fuel, manipulate and exert control. We see our friends (Non Intimate Secondary Sources (“NISSs”) every so often, meeting to have a drink, play sport, see a film or just catch up, yet again we will engage with them through technology.

Secondly, we use technology to find those who we will ultimately meet in person. Technology allows us to cast our net wide, weed out those who are unsuitable, select several prospects at once and use minimal effort to seduce them and gather information about them to use to further our needs.

Thirdly, we will use this technology to cultivate and maintain a stable of appliances for the purposes of bolstering our fuel matrices. This is the Virtual Fuel Matrix. All of our kind have them – some maybe minor in nature, not often used (although this is rare) whilst others are extensive and relied on significantly by the narcissist. Others alternate through relying on the physical fuel matrix for the most part and periodically turning to the virtual fuel matrix in certain instances.

This third use is the focus of this article. This particular use has many variations with regard to the narcissistic dynamic. There are countless variations which will arise with regard to the composition of the Virtual Fuel Matrix, the use that is made of it, the fuel gathered and how it fits into the narcissist’s overall fuel matrix, but consider these scenarios for example :-

A Lesser Victim Narcissist who as a consequence of health issues is confined to home. He has a dutiful Carrier Empath as the IPPS, there are a handful of family members and friends (NISSs) who call round every so often, but the LVN interacts not only with these appliances through technology, he goes online repeatedly to interact with a stable of tertiary sources , some of whom becomes NISSs owing to the frequency of interaction, through messaging, chat rooms and the like, but he does not speak to them or see them, other than pictures on profiles. He never physically meets any of them. He has no interest in any sexual intimate interaction with them.

2. A Mid-Range Somatic Narcissist. She has an IPPS in her husband and has two Shelf IPSSs on the side. She has a number of NISSs in her fuel matrix, through friends, family, colleagues and neighbours and therefore has a solid physical fuel matrix. She however likes to head to her bolthole and comb through dating sites and chat rooms, connecting with a myriad of tertiary sources. Some she will flirt with, sending pictures and so forth on just the one occasion. Some are Non Intimate Tertiary Sources (“NITS”) but those she interacts with as a one-off and engages sexual content with are Intimate Partner Tertiary Sources (“IPTS”). Others she engages with repeatedly and not only sexts with those individuals, talks ‘dirty’ down the telephone but sends naked pictures (and receives them) from a steady stable of half a dozen men. She will not send videos but will accept them. This group is made up of Intimate Partner Secondary Sources (“IPSSs”). She has no intention of meeting any of them but gathers fuel from these nightly forays through various methods of communication.

3. A Mid-Range Cerebral Narcissist. He has an IPPS in his wife. He naturally draws Proximate Fuel from her because they live together and see each other every day. Her fundamental role however is provider of residual benefits as she runs the home and runs around after the MRCN. Something of a loner he does not really have any friends and prefers not to engage much with colleagues (other than when he has to for reasons of work) and family members. He looks down on them, seeing them as inferior to his intellect and not worthy of his interaction. He prefers to sit in The Relational Tower and lock himself each night in his Bolthole and from there he spends his time Skyping people who share an interest in his academic interests, debating with them and rubbishing their theories. These people are NITS and NISSs. He also delights in going to particular websites and blogs where he engages in trolling (although from his perspective he merely sees it as him putting the morons straight on their lack of intellect and understanding). The indignant responses from NITS provides him with fuel, albeit of low potency and in small amounts. Nevertheless, he experiences little risk of being wounded as there is no actual physical interaction with these people, they will not reject him by turning away or failing to acknowledge him across a crowded bar. Instead, when they fall silent after he has trounced them in a Skype conversation or through the written word, he savours that as evidence of his victory. He either sees their angry or irritated expression and gains fuel or derives Thought Fuel from imagining their wailing and gnashing of teeth at having been defeated by his superior intellect.

4. A Greater Somatic. Away on business and in a hotel room he has a ready-made stable of individuals with whom he engages in sexting, the acquisition of naked pictures and videos and who are IPSSs. He goes further and engages in mutual masturbation sessions with these IPSSs through FaceTime, Skype or (occasionally if seeing is not an option) on the telephone. He will however to cause worlds to collide by coercing these IPSSs to visit him when he travels so that his virtual stable of IPSSs will provide even more fuel and residual benefits by being commanded to meet him in hotel rooms across the globe. His sexual imagination, prowess and ability to configure IPSS connections in different continents means that whilst he will use this stable to draw fuel virtually, he also uses it to occasion the physical connection too.

5. A Mid-Range Elite. He lives alone. He has family in the city where he lives who he sees intermittently and various friends and colleagues who he sees quite often and therefore has a large bank of NISSs to draw on. He however interacts with one source every single day. He is in Europe and she is in the Middle East. They speak on the telephone frequently through the day. They Skype often and for hours at a time, watching the same films although in different continents, effectively going on virtual dates. They have never met. They see one another through Skype and FaceTime, they swap nude pictures, they engage in mutual masturbation, they even have Skype still going in the background when they fall asleep, one watching the other sleep often owing to the difference in time zones. They have never touched one another, never smelt one another, never felt skin on skin, yet spend hours with one another through the power of technology.

What is the status of these appliances which connect with the narcissist through technology? Are they empaths or normals who are just sucked in through the lure of the internet? Let us take each scenario in turn.

Scenario One. The Lesser Victim Narcissist is likely to engage with normal NITS and a mixture of normal and empathic NISSs. He will home in on the empathic NISSs with a greater intensity. The fuel provided will be of low to moderate potency. The quantity provided will be low to moderate because although he may spend hours each day engaging with them, it is through the written word only and this is the poorest form of conveying fuel. The frequency is high.

The appliances will be content to engage in this manner and are unlikely to want more interaction or push for any physical meeting.

Scenario Two. The NITS and ITPS will largely be normals and those with higher narcissistic traits (but not narcissists). The IPSSs are likely to be a mixture of narcissists and empaths. The former looking to ensnare her, unaware of what she is and the latter bewitched by this attractive lady paying them such attention and hoping to meet her in due course. The fuel provided will be of low to quite high potency because of the intimacy which is injected. The quantity will be from low to quite high because whilst some will just be sexting, there are telephone conversations and videos which increase the quantity. The frequency is high during the hour or two she engages in this and then of course drops off when she no longer engages with these individuals.

The appliances who are NITS and ITPS are likely to remain content, for the most part, with the one-off interaction. The IPSSs will want more and will experience frustration at not being able to gain admittance to the narcissist physically.

Scenario Three. The NITS and NISS will be a mixture of normals and empaths, with the occasional inadvertent narcissist too. The fuel provided will be of low to moderate potency as there is no intimacy involved, however the quantity will range from low to quite high because the MRCN sees the reaction of the appliances and hears it when he Skypes and uses FaceTime. The frequency is high because the MRCN prefers to operate from the Bolthole in this manner to keep drawing on this extensive virtual fuel matrix.

The appliances will be content to keep the interaction as it is. One or two NISSs may prefer to meet but will not press hard for this to happen.

Scenario Four. Leaving aside the physical interaction that the narcissist brings about (that is the Physical Fuel Matrix) with regard to the virtual element, the potency will be quite high because these are all IPSSs. The Greater will have chosen empaths for the most part, although may also draw a Lesser or Mid Range Narcissist into the matrix. The quantity will range from medium to quite high because he can see and hear the responses of the appliances. The frequency will be low to moderate as the Greater will use the physical interaction far more extensively than the virtual. He turns to the Virtual Fuel Matrix when travelling between places or in a place where he is limited in time and opportunity to hunt down suitable appliances and therefore prefers to “bolt on” the ready-made one which is always there when he chooses to engage with it.

The appliances here will want more. They will press for greater engagement with the narcissist (and may well be granted it as Shelf IPSSs or DLSs arising from the virtual matrix to begin with). Many will want the formality of a proper relationship with the Greater but will not be granted it.

Scenario Five. This scenario is one which requires a more detailed examination and this will arise in the forthcoming article ‘The Loneliness of the Long Distance Empath.’

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14 thoughts on “The Virtual Fuel Matrix”

I think this is one of my most favorite articles. I kept wondering why my MLV Narc would see a coworker and then interact with them later on FB…and here, HG explains: “where we have ensnared individuals who we interact with in a physical proximate fashion, we use technology to maintain our hold and to manipulate.” Control and Facade Management! HG wrote in one of his excellent books: “We are akin to the helpless child as we desperately need your attention (we are not interested in love or being liked, we want your admiration and attention)” SO TRUE!
Thank you once again, HG!

I listened to this 12-15 minute video on Youtube and it really resonated with me. The accuracy of detailing my nex without ever having spoken to HG about him in detail caught me completely off guard. We were scenario 5 in the beginning, I don’t know how I let this happen.

Thank you HG, piece by piece I’m realizing I was never special, not to him and the pain I feel inside from knowing this is eating away at my self esteem. I’m trying to fight, look to the light but it’s obscured by this black shadow, he’s still etched on me. I can still smell him randomly, I still see his face, and I still dream about him.

He sensed my loneliness didn’t he, he knew I believed in old traditional values, courting, love, devotion.
I thought I was getting there, out the other side.
I’m not, I’m stuck.

Presque Vu
This is not directed specifically at you, but at anyone who feels as you have expressed in your post. I have read this expressed many times by others and have just decided to put my thoughts here.

So youre not special to one disordered person in a world of billions. And? Oh that we could all be special to those of our choosing. There are many people who think that they are special to us in some way but we may not be aware, or find them as such and dont give them a second thought. Should they feel as you do? Remember that its not that youre not special, its that he is unable to appreciate how special anyone other than himself is due to the disorder. Its HIS disability that he cannot appreciate the uniqueness and beauty in others due to his disorder-not yours. You should pity him (briefly and from a distance) and not yourself. You are free to engage with others who do, and will, appreciate all that you are. Focus on them instead of trying to force someone who is UNABLE to, to recognize your worth. It would be like you trying to change their eye color by loving them. Remember that he held up a mirror to you. It wasnt him that was special-it was you looking back at yourself. He was consumed by how special you are and tried to fill himself up with you. Tried to subsume you so that he could feel whole. Its a sickness on his part, but If thats not proof of how special you are, I dont know what is.

“He was consumed by how special you are and tried to fill himself up with you. Tried to subsume you so that he could feel whole.”

This comment really struck me. My mind flashed back to a few comments that Saint Piano used to say to me. “I feel like our souls are touching”, “I crave you” and “I need to be connected to you”. They were said either before intimacy commenced or during so I figured he was just being “romantic”. When I read your comments above it became very eerie as and I felt chills.

No direct this at me honestly, I need someone to shake me to my senses!
You are right NA, you are!

“Remember that he held up a mirror to you. It wasnt him that was special-it was you looking back at yourself. He was consumed by how special you are and tried to fill himself up with you. Tried to subsume you so that he could feel whole. Its a sickness on his part, but If thats not proof of how special you are, I dont know what is.”

I never thought about it like that.
You are kick ass and sassy NA! I appreciate your posts and thoughtful responses.
It means a lot when I’m all tangled up, thank you NA.

Thank you so much, NarcAngel. That was put most eloquently and I am saving it so I can re-read it from time to time. So true. I especially loved: “Remember that its not that you’re not special, it’s that he is unable to appreciate how special anyone other than himself is due to the disorder.” As I watched mine FB friend all these other women, my self-esteem took a nosedive. I kept thinking I am no longer special to him and he is interested in these others and they are special to him. No, none of us are special to the Narcs we become entangled with! I DO feel pity for my ex-narc. What you wrote gave me comfort. xx

I’ve realised it’s ok to get stuck FOTS,
BUT my future and yours – needs to be free from the abuse.
I NEED to move on, I WANT to move on… desperately.
The buck stops with us. How much do you want to be free?
I want it badly, I have 2 boys backing me 100%.

I have an addiction problem – i’ve probably had it since I was 10-16yrs old. I want out and I want you to quit your addiction too.

Don’t await just get out of this mess you are in. It may take you a few attempts but get out. You are losing valuable years of your life to someone who would likely laugh if you died tomorrow. He doesn’t care and he never will that’s all you need to know