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Thursday, May 23, 2013

Giving myself time.

green smoothie time!

Hello everyone!I am feeling better today, which I am so grateful for. I think last week I worked myself so hard getting assignments done and such that I just had a resulting collapse this week. It was really hard for me to accept, to be honest, so I kept fighting it. Despite waking up on Tuesday morning feeling stiff and ridiculously sore, I still got up, did a load of things, even went out shopping.So, by Tuesday night, I was just feeling completely shattered.Yesterday I woke up and I felt not only physically drained, but mentally and emotionally overwhelmed. I wasn't sure WHAT I felt overwhelmed about, but I sure felt it! I was panicking about having to do even the smallest thing. Luckily, my amazing partner Xin was able to talk me through it without my having a panic attack, and I was able to go back to my usual coping mechanisms: namely, 'one thing at a time' and 'just breathe'. I ended up getting some stuff done with his help, and I am so thankful. I actually ended up having the best day with him, too. :)As to the detox of books and DVDs - that's is mostly finished now. Well, I've finished pulling things off shelves and reorganising. For now, my study floor is covered with piles of books and DVDs waiting to go to new homes. A couple have already been claimed, but I am hoping to give a few more away (for $1 each - the Save the Bethwyn fund!) and then donate the rest to an op-shop. For an idea of how much I have decided to give up...

Cute puppy curled up next to kingdom of books and DVDs...

So yes! A lot. I think this detox + needing more time to move through whatever was happening just makes me remember how I need to give myself time to deal with things. Today I am feeling much more cheerful, but physically quite sore. Soon, once my flu symptoms calm down a bit more, I will be heading to the doctor for my additional blood tests. I am unsure what to think, really, as I am so used to all tests coming back normal. Ah well, I will continue on because life is gorgeous, regardless of your physical state.