Thursday, April 26, 2012

The Day Evil Made Itself Known

When your eyes are opened to a whole new world you begin to see the unexplainable make sense. Spirituality is like this hidden world that can be seen through a deeper understanding of its manifested physical reality. When people who do horrible things in this world are seen as victims of a greater evil, evil itself becomes more obvious. When you finally see and feel the being who is pulling the strings and doing the manipulation, reality becomes more real. This is when I saw the evil that went deeper than the flesh it manipulates.

At this point in my faith I was strong and very secure. My major sinful habits were behind me now that Jesus freed me from them, after years and years of struggling. This new freedom made me more bold and strong. I was on fire for the Lord and most of the old tricks used to get me to stumble weren't working. Let me clarify; I was far from perfect and will never be perfect. we all have sins in our life and some are more difficult to fight than others. At this point my most difficult struggles were beaten but I had plenty of other less difficult struggles remaining.
I was surrounded by mostly non-christians. Being a strong christian myself made me the butt of everyones jokes. I didn't mind, my influence was still felt. A few friends and I went to Buffalo Wild Wings. That night they were showing a UFC fight. That place filled up with people ready to watch the fights, eat some wings, and get trashed. We sat outside because it was nice outside and less crowded. Half way into the fights a woman came over to our table and asked if she could sit with us as she smoked a cigarette. She sat down and immediately noticed my shirt. Almost like she was already aware of it. I was wearing a shirt that said "God loves you whether you like it or not". Oddly enough that shirt was not an easy read because the words were squished and jumbled. This woman was also pretty drunk. She knew what my shirt said before any of my sober friends did. The then said:

"God hu... Do you go to church? I go to church"

I respond with a very positive, "thats awesome, which one?" She mumbled and attempted to give me direction to a church that she couldn't remember the name of. She soon gave up and we began to talk about other things before she got up and left to rejoin her friends. 10 minutes later she returned and the subject of God came up again. She loudly and at times almost screamed about how she loves God and how she lives for him and so on (this may be true, only God knows, but she wasn't that night). So loud that other people outside would turn and look at all of us like were were disturbing the peace. To everyone else we were those religious people that were annoying hypocrites. After being loud and screaming about her zeal for God she got up and left to return to her friends again.

I didn't care. I mean, I didn't care what everyone else thought sitting outside with us. I didn't feel ashamed or embarrassed about my faith or my God despite what that woman made us look like. I know what she made us look like to the rest of the non-christian world because I used to be one. My faith remained un-shaken and stead fast ready to boast of my Lord.

Not soon long after that woman left another girl came outside. She was with another guy. She was wearing hardly any clothing, and what she was wearing was skin tight. I could see all the guys just eye balling her as she walked around and past our table. I already knew the temptation to look at what she had to show off, so I didn't look but watched everyone else look at her instead. She walked around the outside and stopped exactly behind me. She being talking very loud with her guy about very perverted things so I tuned her out and focused on my friends conversations more.

Her lack of clothing wasn't enough, her strut wasn't enough, even her provocative and perverted conversation wasn't enough to get my attention; so she went a step further. She slowly and quietly butted in between me and my friend. She seductively asked him if she could set her beer on our table as she smoked a cigarette then quickly turned and looked right into my eyes. This is where it got weird and the truth of reality set in.

She paused her head movement to just stair directly into my eyes. While all the guys were looking down her shirt as she squeezed her chest and slowly set her beer down; she and I looked at each other in a deeper level. Her stair was dark, uncomfortable, intimidating, and empty. I looked away and she raised back up, grabbed her beer, and walked back around towards the door to go back inside. On her way in, she turned and looked at me one more time. And it hit me, she wasn't making her presence known, she was just being a puppet at that minute. I've been hit on by women and been given those seductive stairs but this was not one of those.

I realized that because I was so strong in faith and so stead fast in unashamed love for Christ in public that evil itself was getting personal and wanted to personally let me know that it is watching me and fully aware of me.

The first girl was to get me to be ashamed or embarrassed of God or my faith. Whether or not everyone around me could see the shame, there is one thing that could, evil. But it failed because i was not ashamed openly or privately, personally or spiritually. So it brought out its big guns. That look that was given to me was intense. Shame failed, embarrassment failed, lust and seduction failed, so the last corruptive power was fear. And I did not fear.

That day Satan and his minions lost big time. All of his typical weapons that cause us to fail, failed him. He may win some battles here and there and continually do so till I die, but He has already lost the war for me. Christ is my Lord now and he is just an annoying jerk I have to put up with until God calls me home.

I would not have seen this before but now that I have the fact that evil knows my name personally adds fuel to my fire for fighting the good fight and winning the race. That was the day when evil made itself personally known and specifically to me.

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I have and one heck of a journey through life. Simply put; I've been rich and poor, a criminal now saint, I am a life lover, gym rat, mma nut, book warm, gun enthusiast, xbox-ps3 nerd, community volunteer, animal lover, ex-atheist now Jesus freak, art and photography admirer, theater stage and Opera spectator, country to classical to rap and hardcore music junkie, and God follower without question! Follow my blog and become a part of my journey!