The memory still burned--me getting thrown in a gray car not long after school got out on September 28, stretched out on the crumb-coated floor of the backseat, with men’s shoes pressing me down, rubber-stamping red ridges in my skin, with a “Shh, you’re okay, baby” for every whimper and a stomp on the throat for every scream. But it was merely a memory from my old life, I kept telling myself.

Wherever I was now, whatever day it was now, all I had to focus on was my new life, a life where I didn’t have to do homework or study for tests or go to cross-country practice or think about applying to college. All I had to do was submit to the men who took me.

I struggled at first, but my masters had experienced plenty of outbursts from panicked little “freshly picked flowers,” as they put it, and they sure knew how to train a girl out of it.

The first night, Master DA told me to inhale a plastic toy he had so he could teach me to trust him. He’d save me, he said. A screaming match followed for much longer than it should have. Finally, I wiped my burning tears and decided I could work up the nerve to do it, just this once. So for a few seconds, he watched me jerk and writhe and reach for the edge of my very life, and indeed, he grabbed me and did the Heimlich. Ah, I wanted to stay in those big strong arms forever, so warm, loving me enough to rescue me.

Master AK and Master MT made my first meals, far better than what I’d expected as a slave--ramen, macaroni and cheese, spaghetti. But they fed me when the noodles were still scalding hot, and I couldn’t spit. The goal was to disable my instinct and make it feel more natural for my masters’ commands to reign supreme. “You can do it, Cassie!” Master MT would hiss, huddled up by my side, clutching my trembling hand. That’s not my name, but they said their girls had to have a new one as a mark of their new life. “Swallow!” And they were so proud of me when I did--once I could do it without any signs of resistance, they rewarded me with a fresh tube of lip gloss. How sweet, I thought.

I can’t tell you how many masters I had. Surely over a dozen, I think. The next day, a lot of them got the chance to have some alone time with me, just time to chat and laugh and cuddle. They all told me that they did this because they knew I deserved a happier, more meaningful life than the tiring cycle of academic responsibilities and career ambitions and the dreaded uncertainties of young adult life, and you know what? I was genuinely thankful for that, and I told them so!

They said Master LC, the one in command who went out to work to support the whole slavehouse, knew my name and knew where my family lived, and if my folks ever tried to take me back to my dreadful old life, he would kill them horribly and bring me back where I belong. I didn’t mind because I didn’t even want to leave at this point. I thought things could only get better from there.

But I had to reconsider that thought when Master JR administered the final step in my training. He strapped me down on a big plank of wood and told Master TE to get the marked bowl from the fridge. Uh oh. “Now, Cassie, sweetie, you’re going to get really scared. Don’t. You’re okay. These guys can’t hurt you; they just tickle you. Even if you get them in your mouth, it’s fine, not like they’re poisonous or anything. The only hurt they’ll give you is in your mind, and you can control what goes on in there.” He fetched the bowl and unpeeled the lid, revealing a disgusting mass of crawling insects. “I’m timing you. Go five minutes keeping that body still and keeping that pretty little face of yours calm, and I’ll let you go.”

I admit, I still want to bleach that memory blank from my mind. So many rough legs all over, even in those cracks and crevices where you never want a bug to go. But to my surprise, I did succeed in the first five minutes. They’d done it. They’d broken my instinct to resist.

“That’s my girl!” Master JR unstrapped me and gave me a kiss. “Let’s go wash.” We shared a lovely shower together, and then, he led me naked into a room of God knows how many girls. “No more sleeping in a cage--Cassie, meet your new girlfriends.”

And from then on, we endured it all together. The rapes, the ropes, the whips, the shocks: every day, everything was taken obediently. We’d been made into the docile little dollies of these men, and after such praise from my masters and such warm bonding with the slave girls, I never wanted to leave.

Until one day.

It was early morning, and I was going pee with the door open, as the bathroom policy dictated, when I heard a whisper. “Can I talk to you in private?” My eyes darted to see that Master DA had just crept in and crouched down by me.

When I got done, he held my hand as he led me out, and I got a sweet shiver of something new. It’s funny, isn’t it? These days, holding hands feels like a greater sign of devotion than straight-up sex does.

We settled under the orange tree in the vast backyard. He drew in a deep inhale. “This is harder than I thought.”

“Hmm?” Apparently my time as a slave had dumbed down my capacity for language.

“No, I don’t. None of us actually know it. We don’t know where you live. We’re not going to kill your goddamn family if you run away. Some girls have run away before we got done training them and we never found them. Levi just tells us to go looking for pretty girls walking alone and bring them here, and you were the unlucky pick that day. We didn’t hunt you down, and we can’t hunt you down if you leave because we don’t even know your name.”

Whoa. “Well, I don’t want to leave.”

“I do.” He picked at the grass, no words for a bit. “I don’t want to do this with these guys anymore. I want to start a new life with a girl who wants me, who I can have all to myself. But these ones are so broken! They can’t even think about leaving anymore. You’re new here; maybe you’re different.” He tore off the flower of a weed and held it up to me. “How would you like to start a life together?”

“Oh!” Gazing into his eyes, I saw real excitement for the future he was going to give me. He was right, it was pretty hard to say something like this so strongly, but I took a deep breath and got it out. “I want to do that, yeah.”

“Yay!” He kissed me. When he pulled off, we just spent a nice moment smiling at each other. “So can I get your real name now, love?”

“I’m Kelly.”

“Okay, so we’re going to leave in the middle of the night. When you’re going to bed tonight, think about if you still want to run away with me, and if you do, keep this next to your pillow.” He handed me the flower. “Otherwise, keep it tucked under.”

“Yes, Master. I’ll do that.” I tried to haul myself up, weakened by the crummy diet I’d been forced into.

This sweetheart grabbed me under the arms and set me upright like a precious doll. “Don’t go yet. Can I just ask you one thing?”

“Of course.” Master DA didn’t need to ask permission for anything!

“Did I traumatize you?”

I pondered for a moment. Did he? I didn’t feel traumatized, but maybe I’d been broken to the point that I couldn’t tell anymore. Hm. “I don’t know.”

“I see. If I did, I’m really, really sorry.” He buried his face in his hands and let out a sigh. “Really. I didn’t want to end up like this, and it wasn’t easy for me to just get up and leave. It’s a long story.”

“That’s okay.”

“Thanks, girl.” He kissed me on the forehead. “We should probably head back inside. They could start to get suspicious.” He took my hand, and soon enough, our pulses synced up. “When we’re living together, just us two, I promise you you’ll be eating right. And there are some other, well, new things you’ll get to do. They won’t let me do them here.”

That night, I lay awake with the flower next to my pillow--no way I could sleep when I was eagerly awaiting my new fairytale life. When all the girls around me were asleep, he snuck in and oh-so-gently scooped me up from the air mattress to carry me out.

“Hope you got a good rest. A fellow around here was kind enough to give us his car for the journey, and he let me buy all this for you.” He opened my car door, and oh my! A bouquet of red and white roses, a deluxe box of chocolates, and--a handwritten note!

My dear Kelly,

I’m so grateful for you. We’re going to have a beautiful journey together.

-Darren

“Awww!” I went in to kiss him. I’d never done that before! “I love you, I love you, I love you! Thank you so, so much!”

My heart kept swelling with joy the whole way. The drive turned out to be quite a distance, and though I didn’t want to distract his driving, I couldn’t help but lean over to sneak in little kisses on his cheek from time to time.

But after a while, an ugly thought crept in, a thought I was so foolish to have not even considered.

I didn’t know what he was going to do to me when we got where we were going.

What do you want poor little Kelly to face in her new home? I have some ideas, but I'd like to know what you guys would be thrilled to see. Thank you for reading!

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