big trouble in little china

December 27, 2011

that’s what’s playing on my tv right now.
(gotta love netflix for providing those ’80s classics)

so the other day, i knit a hat.
(it’s a present so i can’t show you)
when i looked at the little leftover ball,
i got the idea that, perhaps,
i could eek out another one.

nothing fancy, mind.

just a simple sailory skull cap.

“what the hell,” thought i,
“let’s give it whirl.”

but as i started my decreases tonight,
it didn’t look like i was going to make it;
the ball, well, it just looked too small.
(that’s what she said)

now, something weird happens when you think you’re going to run out of yarn. you start knitting more quickly, as if you can outrun the yarn or something. at least, that’s how it works with me.

as i got closer and closer and the stitches fewer and fewer,
it became pretty clear that this was a no go,
and i’d wasted all this time knitting.

frankly, the thought pissed me off.
if i’d done all this knitting
and couldn’t finish? well,
it just pissed me off!

i mean, i’ve been doing this for a while now.
i should’ve just gotten new ball.
i felt like such a chump.

but of course,
i didn’t stop knitting.
i refused to believe that i was wrong.
my will is powerful, and i would not be denied!
plus i kinda have this sick curiosity;
i just needed to know how close i was.

well, i’ll show you.wait.
what’s that?

let’s take a closer lookoh why that would be a finished hat, bitches.
with just enough yarn to close up the top.

so suck it, knitting gods!
i owned your asses tonight!

of course, now i can’t find my chibis,
but i know they’re around here somewhere.

Not that it’s a competition or anything but I totes beat you. My most recent yarn tail was three inches. Towards the end I knit like the wind and actually rose out of my seat. When I cast off the last stitch I threw the work down and declared victory. Talk about intensity.

Way to kick that yarn’s ass! Unfortunately the score here is Yarn: 2, Nicole: 0. After seven years, you’d think I’d have this shit down. I guess the experience just comes into figuring out how to fudge it!

Yoda says “be smarter than the yarn.. bitches” and clearly you were.. nicely done…. I had to rip back on a little beanie hat for my grandbaby this weekend.. (sigh). Turns out her little head is a wee bigger than I thought…. when done, the hat will look like a goldfish… stunning for a 15 month old, don’t ya’ think?