As bad as rainbow birth cake is (and I think "Rainbow Birth" is one of those books for people who want to meditate through birth instead of taking drugs), I'm really disturbed by the fetus cupcakes. It looks like something someone would be offering outside a Planned Parenthood.

On second glance, Push Nicole is wearing a top (with frilly little sleeves, what?) and has some plastic baby bottle flotsam at the edges. It's like at some point in the design process, somebody said, "Let's have her Rainbow Bridge hanging out for the world to see, but don't even imply she might breastfeed this baby because that's just gross!"

Other than that, I laughed from beginning to end. The fetus cakes didn't bother me too much, but I think that stork might give me nightmares.

The Ryan cake and the Push Nicole cake left me speechless. I mean really, must bakers(and I guess those ordering the cakes)continue to push the boundaries of taste and decorum? Good grief. The baby faced cupcakes are just down right disturbing. Who would want to eat that?

I didn't really need to see the "goo" along with the sperm this early in the morning thank you. Gross.

"At first you were really ugly. Barely even edible, really" LOL! The baby looks like it's having a baby of its own.

Having had 2 little ones of my own, when they kicked it seemed like they were getting close to the armpit! Not quite that close though.

Those cupcakes were just...wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong!

Poor, poor Nicole. There are sooooo many things wrong about that cake. I mean other than the obvious sheer tackiness of it. The way the cake is presented, Nicole is standing on her head. She has a top that just covers her boobies - or is that a bra? The two extremely long squiggly hairs on her butt (they don't match the other "motion" lines). The fact that there are "motion lines! The baby bottle that seems to also have come out the the rainbow hoo-ha.

I'm guessing from how far the rainbow extends...that they were expecting a boy? There's a pot 'o gold joke there somewhere....

Is that... a RAINBOW?? OMG!!! Just in case the "push" cake wasn't strange enough, let's add a rainbow shooting out with the baby... I had to run to the bathroom so I could laugh for five minutes without people thinking I was too crazy.

bwahahahhahahahaaha. geesh i have done that 3 times and never saw the rainbow...but this post is too freakin funny!!!!!! i am still staring at my monitor laugh insainly and my children think mommy has gone over the edge! lmfao!!!!

Is it just me, or are there sperm subliminally placed as cattails on the stork cake?? And speaking of sperm, how DOES one celebrate Sperm Day? Although with sperm that size, the possibilities are severely limited, I suppose...

Wow oh wow oh wow...gasping for breath...the sperm cake had me giggling...who wants to swallow that....lmao.....then we get to the rainbow push....tears running down my eyes....the people in my office think I have lost my mind :)...

You don't want to know how long it took me to realize the rainbow was a censor mark, and not on the actual cake. My retinas thank you!

WV: spologic. The type of logic used by the people who request these cakes and think they're a good idea. Alternate definitition: an apology (like for one of these cakes) delivered through a burst of laughter.

OK so it's toss up (of my cookies) btw "Push Nicole" (as in PUSH to get you some new friends!), the ginormous SPERM and the actual photo of a fetus on the cakes...yuk too gross! WHO DOES THIS STUFF????!!!!

I plan to have this conversation from the Simpsons with any child that ever brings up a stork.

Todd: Daddy, was mommy a monkey? I can't remember.Ned: No one was ever a monkey! Everything is what it was and always will be! God put us here and that's that!Todd: But you said a stork brought me.Ned: Uh, that was God disguised as a stork.Rod: Who brings baby storks?Ned: There's no such thing as storks! It's all God!Todd: (praying in front of a statue of a stork) Please bless daddy and mommy...Ned: Stop praying to that stork!

The "ram" cake brought back great memories for me. I used to be in the Navy, and my squadron's mascot was the ram. At one time our planes' tail designed looked eerily like that cake. None of the guys who designed it noticed. And they didn't ask any of the girls what it looked like...~Melissa

I'm a cake decorator myself, and I can tell you, that cake looks exactly like the picture. You can't blame that one on the decorator, you have to blame DC Comics for licensing it to look that hideous, and on the customers who insist on ordering it.

the US pictures creeped me out! i mean, i have a good 3D pic of my little one, i saved it on the computer because the paper they print it on tends to fade, but i would never put it on cake. for. people. to. eat!

I just had my first ultrasound done last week. So this post hit home. All except for the super creepy cupcakes. That's just gross. But I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. Va-dragon....priceless. Thank you Jen!

The fetus cake, with the tiny arms, and huge abdomen is just wrong, but the fetus cupcakes are so beyond tasteless that I can't think of a word appropriate for this page. And who knew the Dodge Ram would look so nice in pink?

#1 looks like a scene from "The Last Dodo." Apart from that, why does the stork have rubbery legs? People viewing it, I can understand, as they try to suppress laughter.

#2 Note that the emergency slide is deployed. Baby Express: Taking euphemisms to a whole new level. Notice I didn't specify up or down.

#3 Sandra Lee has been at it again, I see...

#4 Brown? How did that find its way into the color scheme? Never mind, I really don't want to know.

#5 Aww. Ryan made his first deposit at the sperm bank, and received a cake. He certainly seems to be a very... er, *manly* fellow...

#6 Is that baby pregnant?

#7 Oh, dear -- the wreckerator would have to have been absent from school that week. Now it has come back to haunt him / her, just like the biology teacher foretold. Is 'mommy' wearing fuzzy pink slippers in the polka-dot rain, or is there more anatomical confusion afoot?

#8 The Three Stooges: The Beginning. Ok, it's really 'The Six Stooges', but that would make no sense.

#9 Where to begin... The first thing I thought of: "Push 'em out, shove 'em out, waaay out!" (Cosby, 'Natural Childbirth') Then I noticed the slight concession to modesty at Nicole's top. Why was that theme abandoned?

Finally: What does it all mean?!?! Thanks for adding the rainbow, though; 'Barely There Censor Bear' would have been awkward. Like this cake doesn't redefine that word, already. It could have been much worse, though; at least no gelatin was involved.

I have absolutely no idea if this is what you were referencing with the *flick flick flick* but it definitely drew to mind the dilbert cartoon from the 90s where they realize they get paid even if all they do is flick their fingers...http://www.dilbert.com/strips/comic/1994-11-24/

the cupcakes with the songogram pictures are the worst!!! really you invite people to your house, make them bring you presents (lol) and then they have to eat pictures of the baby!!!! what ever happened to duckies and bears

Charlie said...I was waiting for you to finish the story with, and the babies all came riding out on giant carrots._________________hahahaha, well people leave cookies for santa, parents leave carrots out for the stork....

Not digging the sonogram picture at all. That is just creepy wrong. I on the other hand can enjoy the funny wrongness of the push cake. Also the "ram" cake is actually really pretty if you just ignore the big uterus on the top :)

When I went through infertility treatment years ago I had dr. appointments at 6:00 a.m. every other day for 2 straight weeks involving blood draws, hormone shots daily and ultra sounds in the rainbow region. At the end my husband complained that he had to go at 10:30 the last day to make a "deposit" and how much work it was to fit it in his schedule. I asked him if he wanted a cake for that? I think I know what the sperm came must be for, but my hubby''s name isn't Ryan?

That last cake must be a recreation of when the King of All Cosmos's wife gave birth to their son, The Prince....Hahahahhaahahaha....Get it? Get it? Royal Rainbow? Katamari Damacy? Yes? ........well I'm sure some fellow dorky person gets it, and to whoever that is...you're welcome! :D

Oh dear Lord ...Some things should never be depicted with or on cake ... or anything else edible. Those foetus cupcakes are REALLy disturbing. I could NOT eat those. *shudder*

As for the "Push Nicole" cake ... well I really wish that my son had been born like that, I'm sure it would've been much less agony than the 6 hours of pushing I had to endure.And seriously is that the baby's name up in the top left corner??? I'm sure it's supposed to be some "creative spelling" version of Journey, but Journee is French for "day".

Happy Sperm Day? I don't want to know. My best hope is that this is a "The Kids Are All Right" type of situation and Ryan's two moms consider that as important as his birthday and it's the one day a year he gets to see his biological dad.

I, for one, love the realistic sonogram pics and wish they existed when I had my kids, BUT NOT ON FREAKIN' CUPCAKES! The only thing more disturbing that the person who would do this is the person who would eat one!

Nicole's cake--wow! I can just imagine her hubby or partner calling up the exotic bakery. "Hey, remember us? We ordered a cake for our anniversary about 9 months ago. Well, guess what. We need something like that again, only this time . . . "

I think Nicole's baby's name might be "Journey" (or is this wishful thinking?) If so, that has to be one of the most fitting names ever, if the delivery went anything like what is depicted in the cake.

I will never think of that song quite the same way ever again..or even want a baby for that matter. Whoever got that last cake must have wanted to hurl it at someone lol. As for those horrifying cupcakes..all I can say is why??

Now that I've had some time to think it over, I don't blame the Wreckerators for these horrors. After all, they're just trying to earn a living, even if that means they sometimes have to do things they wish they could turn down... no, I blame the customers, who were apparently brought up with no clue about good taste. Come to think of it, maybe I need to blame THEIR parents.

Either way, I would run screaming from the room if anyone presented me with one of these cakes!

I was fine. (Fine + slightly weirded out.) Until I came to the last cake. I now have tears streaming down my face and I am trying to silence the giggles!!! WHAT WERE THEY THINKING????? Inappropriate, yes! Funny as all get out, completely!!!

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A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

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