The King is...Alive?

When I got the press release about Cobi Jones signing on with the Cosmos as assistant undersecretary to the director general or whatever, my response was: "Interesting. Seems a bit premature considering they don't even have a senior team yet and aren't locks for MLS. But interesting in that it takes a different tack from the whole Pele/Chinaglia honorary posting."

But this?

Says Eric Cantona, “I am very honored to join the legendary club New York Cosmos. It’s a big project, a wonderful project. The Cosmos are very strong, beautifully made, with a great past. It’s kind of a mix between football and art. I will do everything that I can to help us first find our way to regain the #1 position in the United States, and then for us to become one of the best clubs in the world over the coming years.”

Oy vey. Couple that with an announcement heavy on the "King Eric" schtick, and...

How the hell are we supposed to take this project? Have you read Grant Wahl's fascinating interview with Terry Byrne? Go ahead, I'll wait...

I can't get my head around it. For every sane, promising word I hear, there's some total crazymaking "art project" nonsense tossed in as a countermeasure. I guess the only thing that's certain is that the outcome, one way or the other, is going to be both extreme and entertaining. There's potential for the glorious to happen, but almost certainly more potential for a catastrophic (and hilarious) failure.

6 comments:

I couldn't agree more. The whole thing has an air of silliness to it, but at the same time there's a tiny chance that they thread the needle somehow and it pans out.

"Success" is a malleable word, and I think that's the key here. The Cosmos could end up just being some kind of traveling annual all-star game, and as long as they report their earnings and avoid the wrath of the IRS (no guarantee with Chinaglia and Pele involved), they could claim that they'd succeeded. Such claims would likely involve some kind of delusion about the size of the impact of their project.

My gorge is already rising as I listen to podcasts and publications from across the pond slinging about phrases like "returning to the [ed: their unnecessary article, not mine] MLS" and "the first name you think of when you think of American soccer." The potential for an eclipsing of Sounders-level pomposity with international validation is through the roof.

Still, I'm far from convinced this whole house of inflated-ego cards and ridiculous posturing won't implode spectacularly. So I suppose the choice is between the Titanic and the Yankees, n'est pas?

Oh, I'm totally with you on the potential for implosion, and your Titanic/Yankees analogy is quite apt.

I think it's fascinating that you mention the lime-green barista thing (we all have our own Voldemorts, okay?); it was in the back of my mind as I wrote my first comment on this post. That's pretty much become our shared community's shared benchmark for fastest ascent to despicability, right?

Pretty much. Sure would be a shame to rob them of such an "honor." That said, watching them sputter and go an even more nauseating shade of green with envy might be worth the price of the Cosmos' admission.