Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Photo Developments

The title is a pun. Get it? Ha, ha.

I'm going through the 1,000 Knitters messages in a more organized fashion, trying to figure out how we're going to make this work. You perhaps are thinking I should have considered this before announcing the project. However, my life to this point has included far too much thinking and far too little doing. Had I imagined what my mailbox would look like stuffed with hundreds of excited messages waiting to be sorted, I would have retired, shaking, into a dim corner and sat there until the vision faded.

Until I can answer all individually, I'd like to address a few common concerns collectively.

Please rest assured that it is not possible to break a camera merely by sitting in front of it.

No, I will not need my wide-angle lens to fit you into the frame.

You are not the ugliest person I will ever have photographed. That honor belongs to a prominent socialite, a twig-thin product of goodness knows how many expensive spa treatments, who earned the title by continuing to call me "Manuel" after she had been introduced to me by name and reminded of my correct name several times. Ugly is as ugly does.

Everyone is photogenic while they're knitting.

Indulgence in self-deprecation during your shoot will result in my giving you That Look, which I inherited from my mother. Believe me when I say that you do not want to be on the receiving end of That Look.

And what will you be knitting? Well, here's what I've decided.

The image of a common thread–or yarn, in our case–is too potent to resist. So I've decided that when it's your turn to sit, you'll pick up and work on a scarf, one scarf, in which all 1,000 of you will have a hand. The first knitter will cast on 22 stitches. The final knitter will bind off. If you're in the middle, you'll knit rows, join a new ball, fix dropped stitches or do whatever happens to be needed at that point before passing the scarf along.

So close. So close. Four more rows to the end of the center of the christening shawl, and two of those are plain.

I tried so hard, so very hard, to make this look like anything other than used cheesecloth. Perhaps, some day, the shawl will look at this pre-blocking photograph as I do my eighth-grade school portrait: a dreadful mess of acne, too-large glasses and impossible hair waiting to blossom into the sprightly, long-limbed Adonis you all know today.

Shut up.

I do have to set it aside briefly this week to finish up my final Dulaan pieces, of which there are two in progress. I will not have been the most prolific Dulaan knitter by a longshot, but I'll have met my modest goal.

Hey, Konchog–is there anything particularly Mongolian I should drink to celebrate?

While I'm eagerly awaiting the date for my appointment to sit with the scarf in front of your camera... let me say this:Proportionally, you are a long limbed Adonis. Those other people who are freakishly tall only wish they had bodies proportioned like yours. Some day, they'll get over it.

I really like it when people go with half a plan. Most of the time that is enough to get you started. The common thread scarf sounds like a great idea.

Do you have access to a foundations database at work? Or do you have friends in the development/advancement office who do? There might be someone out there that is interested in funding this sort of project. Cover travel costs, film and developing...

Aren't we already all knitting the same thing? I've been knitting on the same baby shawl forever, and I look at your photos, and think, yup... that's the one... Good luck with your heap of crumpled washing and I'm sure it'll be completely gorgeous; I'm only 54.6% of the way through mine, according to the Shawl Calculator...

The shawl is stunning unblocked, I am sure that blocked it will be impossibly beautiful, like your dear niece.

And I am sure that proportionally you are a long limbed Adonis. Being tall is grossly overrated (or so I hear). So no self-deprecating remarks about yourself or you'll have to give yourself "the look".

I wish i lived in the Chicago area. As it is can i hope for some sort of coffee table book fashioned from the result of all those photogenic knitters? I like the idea of everyone knitting on the scarf so much! Hang in there on the shawl...it is truly stunning even now! If only I had the ability to zoom ahead 18 years from now for a peek at Herself proudly wearing her shawl to complete her ensemble for prom!!

I have lurked for some time and enjoyed your willingness to share your gifts for writing, photography, and of course, the knitting. Thank you for refusing to listen to the self-deprecation and please continue to let us know that we are each lovely and worthy people, regardless of our clothing size or that enormous mole on our chins or the comparison to what used to be.

Heh, I'll second what Knit-Knot said - my first thought at reading this was "oh come on, man...you've met Stephanie, and SURELY you remember the Knitting Olympics, right?"

I just looked back at Bloglines, and you've got 1265 subscribers there. I know there are other whatchamacallits that organize RSS feeds (feed aggregators? That seems too simple), and then there are the people who just click every day, hoping for new purls of wisdom. So yeah, there had to be a ton of people who read you and like you, and would be interested in a project that you come up with.

{wiping tears out of eyes} Beth - "shave your tongue" - any tips for getting tea out of a keyboard? Got it out of the nose easy enough. Can I send a deposit for this coffee table book now, please? Oh - I'm with Mary E, Abigail will wear that shawl to her prom and again on her wedding day. The Jewish Mother has spoken. And I'm 4'11", you ARE an Adonis.

I wish I was in Chicago too, so I could do this. I would go to Chicago to sit for your project, if it didn't involve crossing an ocean. I really would. Do keep up outlanders updated on the project, please: the coffee table book sounds like a good idea.

Could we wrap the scarf around the Bean? Or lasso the AIC lions together? Love Mary's idea of a group photo with the scarf wrapped around them. I'm in the Chicago area, knit, and am a momentarily out-of-work Art Director, so if I can help in any way, let me know!

Hello, Franklin. I have a suggestion for the final disposition of the scarf. I work for a domestic violence project in Maine, and I have this nagging desire to do a fundraiser/awarness campaign around the knitting of a mammoth purple scarf. (I'm not all that fond of purple, but it is the "offical" color of the anti-domestic-violence movement.) We could have people sponsor a foot, or an inch, or a row of the thing, and then we could drape it across however many miles of our county it would cover, and the press would come and we could talk about how important it is to refuse to tolerate violence, and everyone would go, "oh, yeah!," and the world would be changed.

Okay, so I'm doing some math. A thousand knitters. Figure within the 15 minute time frame you have in mind for the sittings that on average each knitter will get in one row. Posit a five row per inch gauge. And the finished product will be about five and a half yards, or sixteen and a half feet. Not nearly enough to wrap around the bean.

If everyone only acted on an idea once they had all the problems thought through and every possible consequence catered for then I think we would probably all still be sitting in caves wondering what would happen if we rubbed two sticks together!

That yak-milk-butter tea should also have a little salt in it, to be authentic; and the butter is just a little rancid. Really. I've actually had it. But the spirit in which it was offered was sublime, so one drinks it anyway! I can't speak to the kumiss, but I do know it's pretty tough to milk the mare.

Hey, I have that eighth grade school picture, too! Some of my classmates never went through that, damn them. I was fugly until I hit my late teens, then suddenly they all wanted me and those cute blonds who never went through their awkward stage ended up breeding way too young and losing any pretense of cheek bones. Meow.

You can sleep at night now because I found a Spanish christening shawl in the folk shawls book and I love it! I ordered a full Merino fleece and plan on dyeing the locks the palest yellow and spinning it lace weight before I knit what could be my masterpiece.

Of course, I will never be worthy of you (bowing and gesticulating accordingly) but I can try, can't I? Also, I saw what the Mongolians drank on "Long Way Round" (with yummy Ewan MacGregor) and I'll stick to my Scottish ale.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, this is one of the coolest ideas I've heard of in a long time. I am so excited to see the whole process (and participate if geography allows), or as much as you share on your blog. And the end product can be nothing but fabulous and enduring, because knitters are fabulous and enduring.

The shawl is beeeeuuuuuteeeful! I wish I lived closer to volunteer for the photo shoot - let me know if you ever want to include California. We can just get 1000 knitters in one big picture!! (and a few spinners couldn't hurt).

I know this is NOT your job, Franklin, but if you could drop more hints as to this year's Dulaan deadline, I'd be far more likely to get my mittens and hats and stuff out on time. For instance, today's reminder is a lovely little push to keep me going.

I see someone already beat me to the kumis (fermented mare's milk). Though the Russians introducted them to vodka as well.

I'm very excited to see the shawl--trust me it doesn't look like cheesecloth.

And, honey, you are Adonis! If I were a gay man, I'd be drooling unashamedly in your general direction. Oh, hell, let's admit it, shall we? I'm a straight woman and I'm drooling--brains, beauty, kindness and wit, what more could a girl want? ;)

I love the idea of everyone working on the same scarf, and I particularly like your opinion that "everyone is photogenic while knitting". The shawl is going to be just beautiful, even in its unblocked state is pretty impressive.

Hey Franklin, we've never met except thru Panopticon, but I must confess that I love you. I love you for your wit and charm, your bitchiness when appropriate, your tenderness, your imagination, the world you create that we all get to live in, your cartoons, Dolores, Harry, Mrs. T, your zen efforts, your knit, your photography, the uniqueness that is you. The world is so much richer because you share your beautiful mind and soul and spirit with us. Why I had to say this today, I don't know. But your web moves me, entertains me, challenges me at times, inspires me, and makes me want to be a better me. Thank you. Thank you so much. We now return to regular non-stalking type comments.

So much to remark on... where to start? That lace. Isn't that what you love about knitting lace? The sheer homliness of it's just knitted stage, the futile exercise of stretching it out with your fingers to show unbelievers how fab it will be (honest!), the long, slow torture of the last few rows, the muttering to yourself and swearing when you accidently lean or kneel on a blocking pin, the long routes to anywhere else in the house as you detour to check on the lace stretched out drying wherever it is. And the the unpinning. That is what I call the big Lace Knitting Orgasm. You're just that close, Manuel!

The 1000 knitters thing is still the best concept I've heard of. Love the scarf we'll all have our piece of. Somehow we won't be ugly while knitting - you've thought it through enough for my taste.

Can I be a provacatuer-ish for a moment? What if you didn't donate the scarf? what if it was part of the exhibit? What if the exhibition was mounted somewhere (stop thinking that way...)? What if there were books that accompanied the show? What if the show traveled around the country? What if, for just a while, everyone got a chance to see it all? Don't be too quick to give it away, auction it, whatever the cause (call me what you will...) - it can be just what it is, and do as much for the world as being sold to the highest bidder. Just a thought.

Adonis. You are. No kidding. Nuff said.

And leave the kumis and rancid butter to the professionals. We need you healthy and strong to do the whole knitting-portrait thing...

Yes, that's right, airag -- fermented mare's milk -- is authentically Mongol, but the disparagement of it will cease right this minute. Clearly you philistines have never had the legendary brew from Bulgan province. And if you have a really sophisticated palate, try it made from the milk of a Gobi Bactrian Camel. What? No, I'm not kidding. It also comes in the form of aarts, a kind of hot, thick yoghurt. I'd walk a barefot mile across the burning sands just for a wee taste. It's that good.

I can see the potential beauty in that shawl. The last one I did looked like hell. I kept telling everyone it would be beautiful. And now it is :)

I think you should talk to publishers about your 1000 knitters idea, I'd buy a book like that. Especially if it weren't full of Barbie-clones in stupid-clothes, but one that celebrates the beauty of individuals.

The "Manuel" thing reminds me of a particularly lovely customer I encountered once...I was working at the Trader Joe's in Acton, MA. An upper-middle-class to upper-class town, as you may or may not know. When you work at TJs, everyone does everything - ringing, bagging, stocking shelves, swabbing the deck. I was ringing up a woman's order - a woman with a very dignified proper London accent who had thus far been very polite - and another crew member came over to start bagging her order.She remarked "Oh dear! You're a cashier, not a bagger! At the Trader Joe's I went to in California, they have Mexicans to do that."

That accent rarely strikes my ears as so undignified, but she made it happen.

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