If you want to run the labour party, you’ll need to perfect the art of dressing like your Grandad dressed himself while drunk, then sent you a 1.1 megapixel picture he took on a Nokia 3220, and then you tried to copy his outfit but you don’t have a mirror...

As a teenager you no doubt slept until midday, rolled out of bed, played computer games and ate bowls of cereal. You probably didn’t shower until the evening and I’m guessing your job (if you had one) was rubbish. If you’re a student this’ll sound near identical to your life...

So evolution is probably slowing down, what with all the health care and all the easy girls flying around. Being alpha male just doesn’t put you at the front of the pack anymore; you need to take matters into your own hands. You need to e-volve (sorry) and get the...

It’s almost Valentine’s day and you’re on the internet looking for something – anything – for your boyfriend or girlfriend. Then you realize: you can’t think of anything because, in reality, you don’t really care about this person. Better yet, you want to break up with them! And what better...

Sooner or later the apocalypse’s sure to arrive. We think sooner. Ok, so it didn’t really show up on May 21st 2011, but there are big hopes for 2012. Unless you’ve invested in an iron man suit, a spaceship or built yourself a nuclear bunker, you’re gonna feel like a...

If you were born in 80s and your parents weren’t exceptionally elitist, you probably grew up watching enough Disney movies to permanently loosen your grasp on reality. Only us kids had the time and mental strength to traipse through every Disney movie that was around, often more than once, and...

There’s a good chance that if you’re browsing this website you were born in the 1980s. A lot happened in that decade. John Lennon was shot, the Berlin wall came down, Sega’s ‘Master System’ was released (as were the first two Terminator Films), and Elisha Cuthbert was gifted to the...

Eat like a badass.

The ultimate cookbook for the real man, legendary author and beard enthusiast Ernest Hemingway brings the world this collection of badass recipes. Meals include Dorado Fillet in Damn Good Sauce, Woodcock Flambé in Armagnac, Campfire Apple Pie, and Fillet of Lion washed down with Campari and Gordon’s Gin. It’ll put hair on your chest.

Also good for looking down your own shirt. Ladies.

As we all know, it’s incredibly difficult to sit up in bed while reading. With these magic prism glasses, you can enjoy 50 Shades of Gray while focusing on more important things, like wondering how your life came to this dazzling low point, or stimulating your prostate whilst picturing yourself safe in the strong arms...

How to make everything right.

INTD are going to let you in on a little secret. A banana suit changes everything. For example; You get too drunk, you’re obnoxious. You get too drunk in a banana suit, it’s hilarious. More? You get into a fight? You’re an aggressive, dangerous thug. Banana suit? Hilarious. Even more? You shit yourself? Disgustingly horrifying....

or as my Dad calls it, "get on my Daddle you sh*t"

You’ve got a kid? This is a no-brainer, what kid doesn’t want to ride their Pop-Pop around the house like a Ton-Ton in a suit that smells of whiskey and missed baseball games? But let’s face it, you’re on a drunk shopping website – if you’ve got a kid you only get to see him...

Be the "Michael Jordan" of Alcoholism

Beer Pong just got athletic, so you can stay ripped while you pwn some fucking n00bs, teabagging everyone’s cups like it’s going out of style. Hope you aren’t afraid of heights because these cups just got VERTICAL. The last time balls got forced into this many holes, Kobe Bryant ended up in court! And was...

The perfect gift for Grandma

As the rapper and modern poet “Lil Wayne” once said: “I told her to back it up like ‘burp burp’, And make that ass jump like ‘scherp scherp'”. What? I’m sorry, I’m far too white to understand what’s going on. Is this lady okay? This book helps decipher the words of T.I., Master P, Lil...

Are you an AmeriCAN or an AmeriCAN'T?

If tomorrow all the things were gone, I’d worked for all my life. And I had to start again, with just my children and my wife. I’d thank my lucky stars, to be livin here today. ‘ Cause the flag still stands for freedom, and they can’t take that away. And I’m proud to be...

get stealthy with can-oflauge

The park, the church, a baseball game, and even your daughter’s dance recital — What they all have in common is that they simply cannot be enjoyed without alcohol. However, it can be tough to get away with drinking as much as you’d like. These can wraps give you the stealthiness you’ve been waiting for,...

more like 'ear ... guns?' nope

On a scale of 1-Vin Diesel, are you bad ass enough to wear these? If you answered 1 then yes you are. Put these in your earginas and pump some sticky hot tunes all over your ear drum’s face… I apologise for that, that was unnecessary, but you’re drunk so fuck it.

Spruce up your banger

We’ve all watched ‘Pimp My Ride’ and wished that we owned a car to be proud of. A car more likely to get us laid than Bumblebee. Back in the real world most of us are stuck with shit piles we inherited when our grandmothers died. Fortunately Paul Walker invented neons for his pioneering film...

Look mum, no hands!

I slept through most of my biology classes at school but I do remember hearing that once a month the moon bleeds from various canyons it’s deposited across the female population. Using fallen pieces of the moon scientists have fashioned ‘moon cups’ – a novel way to collect this moon juice. I don’t know what...

Live the life you've always dreamed of

Treat yourself this drunken stupor by putting a few rolls of these in your cart. I don’t care how many drugs your mom took in the 70s, you are a capitalist and nothing will make you feel better than walking out of the toilet having just wiped your ass clean with $2000 (dependent on your...

Driving just got exciting.

Driving to work is boring. Apparently. I’ve never held a job long enough to drive to the office. However, my liquor store commute is now a thing of beauty. Goodbye shitty top 50 radio stations, hello laptop gaming. Driving down the interstate? Nope, you’re in Skyrim. On a horse. As everyone knows, drinking seriously improves...

The complete manual of things that'll probably kill you

Hypochondria is a virus that affects an as yet indeterminate number of people. It’s not nice and, like aids, it makes you particularly vulnerable to every single disease in the universe – regardless of whether that disease actually exists. I’ve probably got it, you’ve probably got it. So get this manual and read about everything...

Barbecue like a man ... well bear. Like a Manbear.

These meat claws make barbecuing like a girl a thing of the past. Use them to flip your meat, use them to skewer your meat, eat off of them and you my friend are a goddamn beast. A great gift for that special man in your life.

Comes soiled if ordered from Japan

From the people who brought you handerpants comes the Undercap, for when you want to wear your underpants on your head – in style (or just to make your beanie warmer). It’s debatable whether this will make you look attractive to the opposite sex, but I personally know-oh-too-well that a follow-through definitely does not. With...

The perfect valentines gift for the woman who has a fear of airborne toxins

We’ve all been there, out on a romantic date, things are going great, until the unwelcome third wheel of harmful airborne particles turn up, but guess what – you don’t have your respirator! If only your date sacrificed sexiness for safety and was wearing the E-Bra, you could rip it off, wrap it around your...