The Men Who Wait have pondered the enormous differences in shopping style between the sexes.

"If I want a hammer, I go to the hardware store and buy a hammer," Wilder said. "Maybe I look at a screwdriver too; but then I realize that we have plenty of screwdrivers at home, and I leave.

"Whereas my wife finds exactly what she wants at the price she thought she would pay. Then she goes to four different stores and gets herself so confused that she ends up buying the first thing she saw."

Well, yes, of course. Because even if you know you need a hammer, you have a particular kind of hammer in mind -- you could swear you once saw the most darling ballpeen -- and you cannot rest until you have seen every hammer for sale in the metropolitan area, finally settling on one even though it really doesn't quite go with your tool belt, only to find that it is now sold out in your size.

In other words, the quintessential female shopping experience, incorporating the thrill of the hunt, the agony of defeat and a vast waste of time, which is why many of us have stopped shopping altogether.

The Men Who Wait sympathize. Their club knows no such frustration. Wilder, an aspiring singer in his youth, had spent this morning singing with the piano player at Nordstrom (a favorite store among the Men Who Wait for its sitting areas and live music). Niziolek had been gazing at the trees, daydreaming about fall colors.