Rob Gronkowski's Stories About College Are Exactly as Ridiculous as You Think They Are

Aside from one very poorly timed nosebleed and a vomiting episode outside of a 24-hour Burger King, my college stories aren't all that great. Instead of four years of non-stop debauchery, my college experience featured mostly late nights at the student newspaper and an embarrassingly high number of post-midnight chicken-wing deliveries. At a certain point, I convinced myself tales of insane partying and over-the-top hijinks in college were just myths of a different time. Then I listened to Rob Gronkowski.

The Patriots tight end joined Conan last night, and shared some outstanding memories from his time at the University of Arizona. Where do we even begin here?

Let's start with the night Gronk found himself stripping to his underwear for a large group of women at a bachelorette party. At first, Gronk was only supposed to be serving as security. But as the women kept feeding him drinks and some chants for him to strip, Gronk ended up in his boxers giving out lap dances until he had earned about $25 in singles.

The thing is, this is par for the course for Gronkowski. This is the kind of stuff you expect to hear from someone who turned his kitchen into a slip-and-slide. The slip-and-slide happened after Gronk's brother randomly decided to douse their floors with soap and water one night, eventually turning their home into a destination for thrill-seeking students. (The only time I slipped or slid in college was when I knocked the wind out of myself falling on a patch of ice while running to catch a bus for lunch.)

Of course, no slip-and-slide home would be complete without a hot tub, which Gronk and his brothers also owned after pooling nearly all of their money together. Gronk described the hot tub, which sometimes had up to 20 people in it at once, as a "good investment."

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