“My fellow Americans, today is a huge day. You have shown the world that “hope” is not just another word for “penis”, and that “change” is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually suck(…) Our economy is lazy. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for condoms (…) If your penis is sick and you don’t have insurance, you might as well call a Male Prostitute(…) Finally, I must thank my family, my campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank Georges Laraque for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of fucking the American people. Without your smelly efforts, none of this would have been possible.”