June 15, 2017

So I guess sometimes my photos end up saying more about my state of mind than anything else.

There is so much light in my life right now. I’m living in Charleston, South Carolina, enjoying sunshine and everything wonderful summer brings (including my birthday ), I’m working at Charleston Magazine where I have started getting scheduled to go out on some shoots (after several boring days in the office) and I’m well on my way to being a published photographer. I have a nice (but exhausting) part time job working at a local breakfast place, and I get to spend at least a few hours every single day with my girlfriend which is really nice after a year of long distance.

I’ve got a lot going for me to be honest - So why does it feel like the future is looming ahead of me like a dark storm cloud on the horizon? I feel like at the end of this summer I’m going to head into my last year of school and everything is going to take off at a sprint. I need to get a lot of things figured out in a short amount of time and I don’t even know where to begin.I have no idea where I will be a year from now and that’s scary, but the fact that I don’t even know where I want to be is terrifying.I feel like life is a game, and if you can see exactly how the game is going to play out, predict every move, and see the final outcome, it’s extremely boring and feels like a waste of time. However, to much spontaneity and uncertainty and you don’t know how to play the game, what moves to make, and what the end goal is. You end up making mistakes because you don’t know what the goal is and in the end, you waste just as much time.

I know it’s not abnormal to feel lost and confused as a soon-to-be college graduate, but heading into the field that I’m pursuing, you have to have a good bit of confidence and certainty, and I don’t have that right now.I need to get back behind my camera again. I need to figure out what my goals are and where I want to be…

I’m going to do my best to be more consistent here. I need a place to post my work openly, with or without context, and with as many or as little photos as I want. I hope that this will allow me to continue to share my work with the world and feel like I’m still growing as a photographer…