An Obsessive Closet and a Few Resolutions

My closet, which has been confused for months, is finally settling down.

People who know me just a little would be surprised to learn that my closet is a very neat, organized space. They’d be surprised because, apparently, something about me screams, “Slob!” I suspect it’s my wardrobe. Unless required to be otherwise, I’m a t-shirt or hoodie kind of guy. If, like today, it’s really cold outside, I wear both.

Knowing full well how weird this sounds, I have a set number of hangers in my closet on which to hang said t-shirts and hoodies. This number doesn’t change. If I get something new, something old has to go. That’s just the way it is.

They all hang on a rod that runs down the left wall of my closet. After laundry, I hang the newly cleaned items on the closest end of this rod. Nothing compulsive there, it’s just the easiest place to put them. So, as weeks pass and weather changes, all of the weather appropriate clothing migrates to the front of the closet. In other words, my closet gradually and naturally rearranges itself.

There are a couple of quirky benefits to all of this. First, if for some reason you had been asleep for months, or even years, you could, by carefully studying my closet rod, deduce the current season of the year, possibly even the month. Second, and of much more practical benefit, a suitable shirt for the day can usually be found in the first five or six hangers.

But this year, with the inconsistent weather we’ve had since October, my closet has become very confused. The first ten hangars are like looking into the mind of a maniac. A t-shirt followed by a hoodie followed by a t-shirt followed by a Christmas sweater. It’s Madness! I can feel the tension in there every time I walk through the door.

Luckily, in the past week Winter seems to have settled on us in earnest. Hoodies dominate the front of my closet rod. My closet’s stress level has diminished considerably, and we can now move on with the business of 2018.

It occurs to me though, that in order to move on with 2018’s business, I really should know what that business is, so I polled the City’s Department Heads to get their resolutions for the new year. I couldn’t get in touch with all of them, out doing their business already I guess, but I got quite a few. Here’s what they had to say.

Fire Department – Fire Chief Bill Ford resolves to keep his department fully staffed and to stay ahead of the ever changing needs of our growing community. Part of this process includes a new engine that is to be delivered in April. Personally, he hopes that everyone has a safe and happy new year.

Animal Control – Director Terry Parsons resolves to have a new shelter by the end of 2018.

Streets – Tony Floyd resolves to finish the Alcoa Road project, and to fix up Hoover and Algood Streets this year.

Parks and Recreation – Stephanie Jones, recently named Director of Parks, takes a very deep breath and resolves to keep her staff abreast of current information and activities, to provide polite, positive customer service to residents, to enrich the lives of residents while building a healthier community, to renew aging infrastructure, and to encourage family participation.

Economic Development – Economic Development Director Brad Jordan resolves to further help revitalize our downtown and also increase investment and reinvestment throughout the City.

Community Services – Tim Tennant, of Community Services resolves to streamline the permit process and provide better electronic access to contractors and the public. He also resolves to further beautify our city by strengthening code violation ordinances.

Finance – Mandy Spicer, the City’s Chief Financial Officer, resolves to update all accounting policies and procedures this year as well as fully cross training all of her staff.

Mayor’s Office – Mayor Mattingly, looking at the big picture, resolves to improve the quality of life for all of the citizens of Benton by retaining momentum and economic growth in 2018.

Sounds like we have a plan to me. As soon as my closet lets me know that it’s warm enough, I’ll head out and get some video of what’s going on.