Letters To D. Editor

Is the story about Rick Wagner raising alpacas and modeling underwear true? Or is this just a joke?P.D.
Oh…my…God.

Why isn’t there anything on how Wrightsville has to wait 12 minutes for an advanced life support unit when there is [sic] a few less than 10 minutes away?L.B.
Because I haven’t the foggiest notion regarding a) what you’re talking about, or b) how the hell to make it funny. But if you throw in a midget, a can of shaving cream and some Neil Diamond records, we just might have something.

Where can I get Hershey’s non-cramping chewable, chocolate laxatives?A.M.
The company tells us the laxatives are the new “freebie” handout at the end of the Hershey’s Chocolate World ride. They replace the Hershey’s Pink Slip Suppositories, which didn’t go over as well as the company had hoped.

Who are you?
W.P.
I am Lieutenant Governor Catherine Baker Knoll and I’m not wearing any panties. (P.D. — That’s not really true.)