Ireland Baldwin Went Paddleboarding In A Bikini

Here’s Ireland Baldwin and her boyfriend Slater Trout in Hawaii over the weekend where they thought it’d be a great idea to Instagram this photo and caption while on her father’s dime:

In related news, Alec Baldwin had to be subdued on a flight to Hawaii after he refused to stop eating a salmon when trays were supposed to be returned to their upright positions. There were no survivors.

McFeely, have you ever watched her Vine videos? She’s the only person’s Vine videos that I watch. Why you ask? BAT SHIT CRAZY. Even by teen girl standards she’s bizarre (e.g., there’s one where she’s pouring almonds on her head and saying ‘It’s raining almonds!’)

Yes, because being a model means you give up all rights to having a personal life that’s different from your professional life. Kinda like how anyone who works in a deli is beholden to make you a sandwich if you bump into them on the subway. Or how you can climb into a cab driver’s car when he’s on his was to the supermarket and have him take you down town.

Being famous is a dual edged sword. Its relatively easy to see the consequences of putting yourself in the public eye. So yeah, my sympathy level for poor little rich girl, as she surfs and hobknobs, while I reheat my ramen is relatively nill.

This photo makes me wonder if she had any Taco Bell for lunch…or the possibility of some of Slater’s baby batter escaping her perfect little log launcher…I would welcome the idea of giving her a little rimmer even with a hint of salt water.

yah, I could totally see that! I too would enjoy slapping my tongue over her puckered stink wrinkle while occasionally taking a moment to check her body temperature with my finger. nothing sexier than a young ladies, corn wagon!

So, the only reason she’s here is because she’s Alec Baldwins daughter and a ‘professional’ model?

I say the Superficial should create it’s own celebrity. Get some random hot girl, follow her around take pictures of her all the time, she’ll become famous for being famous and it’ll be a lot more interesting and fun than the current ‘celebrities’!