Aikido, fish and chips and a screwdriver in the ribcage

Mr Wood's fiancee texted him to say "be careful"
A pub landlord trained in martial arts has said he fought off four attackers without dropping his fish and chips.

John Wood, 37, said he was stabbed with a screwdriver while walking back to his car from Frank's fish and chip shop in Wisbech, Cambridgeshire.

Mr Wood, who runs a pub in Marshland St James in Norfolk, said he "disabled" two men by kicking them in the knees.

He said by coincidence his fiancee texted him while the robbery was happening, urging him to be careful.

'Dangerous out there'
Mr Wood, who learned the Japanese art of Aikido as a teenager, said he was approached by four young men on Thursday as he walked down an alleyway close to Lynn Road at about 21:00 BST.

"They said 'we want your wallet' and then my phone rang and they said 'we'll have your phone as well'," he said.

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If they had stabbed me one inch over it would have hit my liver and my lung and someone would have found me bleeding in an alleyway instead”

John Wood
"The irony was it was my fiancee who messaged me saying, 'be careful - it's dangerous out there'.

"I said, 'If you want it, you'll have to come and get it'."He said he managed to kick the first two men in the knees and, using one hand, fought off the third.

A fourth man then stabbed him in his chest but he said he wrestled the screwdriver off him before throwing it away.

'Really scary'
Mr Wood said he drove home and ate his fish and chips - which he managed to keep in one hand the whole time without dropping anything - before telling his partner about the incident.

"I do feel lucky - if they had stabbed me one inch over it would have hit my liver and my lung and someone would have found me bleeding in an alleyway instead," he said.

His fiancee Claire Upton said: "I texted him because it was dark and you do worry about these things, but you don't expect them to happen to someone you know.

"It wasn't bleeding profusely and he refused to go to hospital but he eventually drove himself there because he said it felt odd. It was really scary."

Cambridgeshire Police said they were contacted by the Queen Elizabeth Hospital in King's Lynn to say Mr Wood had been stabbed and have appealed for witnesses.
"

CLICK & WATCH: I got BULLSHIDO ON TV!!!
"Bruce Lee sucks because I slammed my nuts with nunchucks trying to do that stupid **** back in the day. I still managed to have two kids. I forgive you Bruce." - by Vorpal

Aikido and the fish@chips deadly.

What gets me about this sort of story is how it hypes up MA completely with no apparent justification. 'Martial Arts'= awesome magic powers.
We aren't told how long he trained or if he still trains, indeed his training is mentioned in past tense.
Apparently he 'learned' Aikido as a teen and that has a connection to his current abilities to defend his dinner at age 37..
If this is true good luck to the bloke but he needs a lesson or two in common sense, or he could have just acted in panic and forgot he had another arm available..which I think is more likely.

A pub landlord trained in martial arts has said he fought off four attackers without dropping his fish and chips.
John Wood, 37, said he was stabbed with a screwdriver while walking back to his car from Frank's fish and chip shop in Wisbech, Cambridgeshire.
Mr Wood, who runs a pub in Marshland St James in Norfolk, said he "disabled" two men by kicking them in the knees.
He said by coincidence his fiancee texted him while the robbery was happening, urging him to be careful.
'Dangerous out there' Mr Wood, who learned the Japanese art of aikido as a teenager, said he was approached by four young men on Thursday as he walked down an alleyway close to Lynn Road at about 21:00 GMT.
"They said, 'We want your wallet' and then my phone rang and they said, 'We'll have your phone as well'," he said.

"The irony was it was my fiancee who messaged me saying, 'be careful - it's dangerous out there'.
"I said, 'If you want it, you'll have to come and get it'."He said he managed to kick the first two men in the knees and, using one hand, fought off the third.
A fourth man then stabbed him in his chest but he said he wrestled the screwdriver off him before throwing it away.
'Really scary' Mr Wood said he drove home and ate his fish and chips - which he managed to keep in one hand the whole time without dropping anything - before telling his partner about the incident.
"I do feel lucky - if they had stabbed me one inch over it would have hit my liver and my lung and someone would have found me bleeding in an alleyway instead," he said.
His fiancee Claire Upton said: "I texted him because it was dark and you do worry about these things, but you don't expect them to happen to someone you know.
"It wasn't bleeding profusely and he refused to go to hospital but he eventually drove himself there because he said it felt odd. It was really scary."
Cambridgeshire Police said they were contacted by the Queen Elizabeth Hospital in King's Lynn to say Mr Wood had been stabbed and have appealed for witnesses.

Segal is the first google image when I typed in 'fat Aikidoka'.
Eat your chips!

...there's an Aikido technique that teaches you to kick someone in the knee?

Not that I know of.

But there sure must be a ton of techniques to balance fish and chips in your hands... /insert random obese Seagal pic/ :-D

CLICK & WATCH: I got BULLSHIDO ON TV!!!
"Bruce Lee sucks because I slammed my nuts with nunchucks trying to do that stupid **** back in the day. I still managed to have two kids. I forgive you Bruce." - by Vorpal

Maybe the guy was just hard as **** and his assailants were pathetic, inept weaklings. The Aikido is purely incidental and included to give the story flavour.

The only time I have been mugged by 4 guys, I had craftily already spent all my money on booze, thus anesthetizing the kicking I received and meaning that they had less than 2 pounds to share between them. I also felt justified in taking a couple of days off work.