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I was raised by my father alone. My mother left when I was a baby. My mother is an addict, my father however is just a hippie. He smokes weed.
After I became a teen my dad was not able to provide me what I needed, so I became a state ward. I went into care the summer before I turned 14, and aged out at 19. I was in 13 different placements in that time. I was raped my senior year of high school not long after my 18th birthday in November. I have been in abusive relationships, the last of which lasted two years with my children's biological father.

I realize that I have had a... colorful past. It is not that I am unhappy with who I am inside. I a very good person with a good heart. I am strong because I have been weak. I hold pride on myself for having overcome all I have. I am only 21 now, and have been through so much in soblittle time, but do not regret it because it gave me the life I have today.

When I speek of self esteem issues, it is not my inner slef that is the problem. I have no confidence in how I look. I always have. I hit puberty early- getting acne at age eight and my period at ten. I also have the misfortune of being an extremely hairy woman by nature, which has always upset me. Also I am fat. Plain and simple. And itbis not within my controll. I have thyroid problems that I am working through. Also, I am afraid I feel I am quite ugly, regardless of assurance from others. I am sure I would not feel so ugly were I not big as a whale at the moment.

Quoting ThinkAgainMom:

You could read this book on happiness, and there are some stories that may help you. It would also helop you become more aware of your thinking and helo you change some of it.

But if your low self-esteem is a lifelong issue, you would be well served to find out it's source. If you came out of your childhood not believing in yourself, there are some problems with how you were raised and the beliefs you were given about yourself and the world. I had a terrible childhood and I spent my 20's undoing the impact of what had been done to me.

I recommend a good therapist. If you don't have money, did you come from a family with addiction - to alcohol, gambling, drugs, food? If you did, you can find free meetings for "Adult Children of Alocholics" in your area. It is a 12 step group and it would accept you, even if the addiction in your household wasn't alcohol.

Quoting ericndaimonsmom:

My biggest problem has always been lack of confidence and self worth. I never seem to be good enough for me. It is particularly difficult right now. I have recently gained a lot of weight due to a thyroid issue(weight gain is a big ole slap in the face when you already have low self esteem).So, how do I build self worth? I have tried possitive self talk, but it has never really worked. How do I become more confident? How do I become happy with myself?Any advice would be so appreciated.Thank you, and God bless!

I truly hope you win this GIveaway, or can afford an ecopy. There are stories in the book you will likely relate to:

"If I were thinner, or more fit, I would be happy"

"If I were better looking, I would be happy"

There are two stories for each subject with subtle differences in the way the characters view the world and themselves. One character is happier than the other. I am demonstrating how even subtle changes in perception and thinking can have a big impact on your happiness.

The second half of the book goes through practical actions and daily steps you can take to teach yourself how to perceive the world differently and to think more positively.

If you would like to read this and don't win and need help affording a copy, message me privately. I will make sure you get one!

Think of the younger woman who made those mistakes like your daughter. If she was your daughter, no matter what she did, wouldn't you still give her your unconditional love?

Whatever mistakes you made, they were made with the best information, knowledge and skills you had at that time. Have you grown a bit since then? Learned a few things? Wouldn't make the same mistakes today? Good! You've grown!

Now write a letter to that girl, or younger woman, and tell her that you forgive her. Treat her with the compassion and love you would give your own child. Hopefully you can see her, yourself, with more loving eyes. Keep the letter for a little while. If the ugly voice of regret rears up, take the letter out and read it again. You deserve to forgive yourself. Continuing to punish yourself for things you cannot change helps NO ONE. Forgive and concentrate on making the best decisions you can today. It's all you can do.

Quoting Mabuka:

i have a difficult time forgiving myself for mistakes I have made in the past - especially the mistakes that still affect me every day. How can I overcome my regrets and move on with my life?

Send me email updates about messages I've received on the site and the latest news from The CafeMom Team.
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