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Sunday, 19 January 2014

That moment when you realise you sound exactly like your mum

With every day that passes, I become more and more like
my mum.

First there was the discovery that wearing tights under jeans
really does make winter more bearable, then the moment I became incapable of
sitting through a film without falling asleep, and then, more recently, the
realisation that true happiness isn’t a beach in the Bahamas or a lottery win,
but 30 minutes alone at a Marks and Spencer Final Reductions sale.

And now I’ve started talking like her too. All those
things she used to say to me when I was younger – those stock phrases that all
parents presumably download at antenatal classes - have started slipping into my vocabulary. But I don’t have children; so I just say them to my husband
instead.

Of course there are some that
just don’t apply to him, such as:

“You
need to have an early night tonight, young lady - you are overtired!” (To
which I would shout “NO I’M NOT!”
because exhaustion makes me argumentative.)

“If
you think you’re going out in THAT skirt without tights on, you’ve got another
thing coming. Do you want to get piles?!”

“Charlotte
- STOP listening to Celine Dion and GO TO SLEEP.”

But there are plenty of others that, with a few small edits, can be very useful in every day married life:

“I’m
not angry that you lost the third brand new lunchbox I’ve bought you in a month,
I’m disappointed.”

“Don’t
forget your scarf/coat/gloves/shoes when you go out this morning – it is
seriously nippy out there!”

“Now then, do our socks really live down the
side of the bed? Hmmm?”

“That’s
funny, I see you’re sat here in the lounge and yet the light left on in the
bedroom would suggest that you’re up there - how can that be?”

I’ve chosen to think of this development as evidence
that my maternal instincts are starting to kick in, rather than that I am the most
patronising woman in the world.

My sentiments are good. I want us to have a tidy home, for us to be warm and well-fed and for us not to wind up bankrupt as a result of too much Tupperware shopping. He does too; he just doesn’t feel the need to mention it quite so frequently.

It’s an odd feeling when you realise that your other half
has joined the small group of people for whom you would run through fire, fight
a bear or wear an extremely itchy jumper for a whole week to keep safe. You just
want to care for them and, seeing as our parents are generally the people from
whom we learn how to look after one another, it’s inevitable that we eventually
start taking on their traits.

Of course, you can take it too far. It’s important
not to make him start seeing commuting face-to-armpit with strangers as an enjoyable
escape from my constant chatter about the location of his socks or the cost of
electricity. A balance must be struck.

Now I just wonder which element of my mum’s personality I
will take on next. Will it be her ability to send a text message without using
a single vowel, her addiction to old, harrowing episodes of Trial and
Retribution, or her remarkable chocolate cupcake baking skills?

2 comments:

Ah there's nothing wrong with sounding like your mum - I talk exactly like mine and I'm only 16! Even my dad and brother can't tell us apart on the phone :p It's so easy to just make sarcastic remarks haha, think it's just the british way!lily xwww.jolihouse.com

Hi Lily, thanks for commenting! Yes you're definitely right, I have no problem sounding like my mum at all - it's just funny when you realise it's happening, isn't it, that the phrases and the character traits are coming full circle. Perhaps I'll get to pass them onto my own children someday...!