Compared with the European seize-the-day, throw-caution-to-wind, let’s-go-skinny-dipping mentality, Americans seem so safe and sensible. Maybe it’s a sign I’ve lived here too long (or that American cops scare the crap out of me), but when I stumbled across the Monaco debut of the MINI Chateau, based on a version of MINI Club S, except for the fact that it has an onboard wine cellar, it occurred to me that this new concept might just be a teeny tiny bit DANGEROUS? Alcohol + driving? Hello? I mean, Bonjour? Anyone with me?

I know the concept is utterly romantic — throw down the picnic blanket, open the trunk, and choose a bottle of Chateau lafite from the “completely caulked and shock absorbent wine-cellar” and proceed to make out with your girlfriend (having left the wife at home obviously). But there’s something about the combination of alcohol and driving that leaves me queasy and uneasy. Luckily there are only twelve Aznom designed limited edition Mini Chateaus living la lida loca.

Style-wise, the Mini Chateau certainly exudes that vintage retro cool and the paint job with its pearly-changeable brown matched with a sandy/gold metallic, is well done. But is the car G? Absolutely not. Gaucho leather might look lovely but a cow’s a cow in my book. As for the car’s “distinguishing element” i.e. precious wood used internally and externally, I didn’t spot a “sustainable” preface in there so I’m guessing it’s just regular old precious trees. Hmmm, while the Mini Chateau may be to some people’s tastes – i.e. lush, deforesters – I can’t say I recommend it.