The complete embodiment of weirdness

Inspirational Quotes (Part 2)

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag? Me neither. But sometimes it does feel an awful lot like shit sucks. At times like this I like to Google quotes related to my thoughts. Today I thought I’d share some of the ones that I found within my searches in extremely deep, hard to reach places on the internet. As such, you shouldn’t Google them yourself; you won’t be able to find them.

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“You can’t please everybody. In fact, you can quite easily kill more people than you can please. In conclusion, kill everybody you can and vote for me for President of the United States of America.” -Calvin Coolidge

“Hitler was not such a bad guy.” -Richard Nixon

“Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Eat Taco Bell like it’s not going to give you explosive diarrhea.” -Susan B. Anthony

“You should not fear death; you should fear never having lived. Also, bears.” -Jack Kerouac

“I think, therefore I am……….extremely depressed.” – Socrates

“If a tree falls in the middle of the woods and no one is around to hear it, who gives a shit?” -Ancient Chinese proverb

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You. Snuffly wuffly duffly, I hate Jews.” -Dr. Seuss (heavily inebriated)”

“How much you trust a person should be directly proportional to how far you can throw them. I trust babies way more than adults.” -Donald Trump 2016