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she’s a lady

The worst mistake a man can make is stay back and wait for forgiveness. Everyone you love will eventually disappoint you and, sadly, they have no place in your life afterwards. Women know that, they sense it in their very core. Men don’t. They are proficient at clinging onto things that have long fallen apart and religiously trying to hold dust between their fingers. The day a woman stops loving a man is the day she’s able to forgive him.

And a new woman is born. Men always underestimate the power they have on the women whose lives they’ve passed through. Men are the driving force behind any… every change in a woman – constructive or destructive. It starts very subtly (as everything else): she begins to forget all disillusions, hurt, moments of pain and alienation, times she hated him (yes, it’s a good sign when a woman is capable of hating you – it means there’s still enough passion in her to care) and starts remembering the nice gestures, long conversations, late and cosy mornings in bed, hot late nights. The paradox is that the more she remembers reasons to justify her love for him, the less she loves him. The image of the man as a partner, protector and friend falls behind to give way to the new one of a dear old friend from another ‘here and now’. One that quite possibly never existed or whose existence is irrelevant to say the least, because it’s no longer her living in it. She was a different person. She is a different person.

The day she’s capable of forgiving everything, a woman’s heart awakens hollow, renewed and free. It’s a high prize to pay for only having wanted to be loved. And loved back, of course. But love is a tricky business: it fears loss, it never forgets and is easily offended; it gets jealous of past ghosts and present back-up plans; it craves genuine kindness and warmth instead of fake romanticism; it suffers from unbalanced accounts because it always seeks the emotional equilibrium; love is pure and simple – it looks for no more and no less than love itself.

More often than never it’s not necessary to stop believing in something for it to perish – it perishes regardless if we believe or not. Only women are strong and cruel enough to euthanise their feelings and carry on branded as ‘cold-hearted’ and ‘not-caring’, consecutively crushing any sign of belief, hope or emotion they might still have left . After all, it’s the only luxury we can afford, unable to externalise our pain as men do.