In fact, you won't see a single WARNING: Global News has chosen to include a photo further down in the article. It may be offensive to some readers when the post-faggot parade coverage takes place.

The parade, by the way, is polluting Whyte Avenue this year, which is a shame since the #yegsodomitehike had for the longest time been downtown, leaving a glorious afternoon where Whyte Avenue was completely fudge packer free. That won't be possible this year, sadly, though you should be able to enjoy your day downtown without having any homely sapphists getting in your face. At least until the festivities wind down and all those cocksuckers cross the faggy High Level Bridge on their way to Buddy's Bathhouse. As a result, they polluted the city crosswalks by painting their disgusting epicene flag on the roadside.

This year is going to be even worse, with sperm bumping MLAs courtesy of Alberta's ridiculously ill-advised Orange Wave, and Faggot-Familiar Alliances recently being implemented in your children's schools against your wishes. They'll be riding high, and while I certainly applaud anybody who shows up with a baseball bat and gives them a lesson in anal pain unrelated to their flamer lifestyle, it's far far better to just stay away.

There will be a day to defeat the poofters. We will do it, we will do it swiftly and with as much violence as we deem necessary, and when we are done the pillow biters will be yesterday's news in this beautiful province and cowardly pederasts like Kris Wells will be either run out of the province or buried six feet under it.