London City Council Highway Department blunder makes Cleo Laine one way

A hideous mistake by a London City highways officer has left the department for transport red faced after he made Dame Cleo Laine One Way. The blunder came as part of widespread traffic calming measures throughout the Borough of Hackney.

Jazz pioneer Dame Cleo, Lady Dankworth, DBE is said to be "proper fuming!" at being made one way between the hours of 09:00 and 18:00.

Though her natural singing range is that of a contralto she is said to have been so incensed by the ruling that her manager has told this reporter that she has since reached a shimmering soprano.