Author. Walker. Badass.

#FatGirlRevolution

Remember how I talked about how I sent some of my books to a charity called The Bookworm Box (btw link is here if you hover and several other links in this post!)? Well, every month, my absolute favorite author Colleen Hoover picks a charity or two to donate all the proceeds to…last month they raised over $11,000 that was donated. The boxes go on sale at a certain time and date and sell out fast!! Like within 10 minutes! Each box contains books from indie or best-selling authors and swag and other fun stuff. I lucked out and got myself one last month so I am excited to see it when it arrives this next week. Last month, however, I took a shot and wrote Colleen an email about a project I am involved in at work that needed funds. I am about to tell you about the power of an email.

A few years ago, our Peds/Picu unit lost someone very dear to us. One of our techs Stephen died suddenly in his sleep from a heart attack. He was beloved on our floor…he absolutely loved his job and the kiddos loved him. Stephen was an avid quilter and the quilts he made were gorgeous. When staff had babies or got married, you can bet they got a special quilt that Stephen made for them. His quilts were treasures and brought lots of children comfort. When he died, his partner J and I tried to figure out what to do with the donations that were given in his memory to the unit. We finally decided to put the funds to a perfect use: quilts for every child that comes through our unit that they can take home and bring them comfort while they are sick. We partnered with a phenomenal organization Quilts for Kids ….they have volunteers who make quilts and they send them to hospitals like ours, we just pay shipping (which adds up to about $1-2 a quilt). Stephen’s Quilts for Kids was started with these funds and every child who came through our doors has gotten a quilt. These quilts are a source of comfort and the nurses take great care in picking out one for each kiddo. It is a program I am so proud of because it keep Stephen’s memory alive…each quilt is tagged with a card explaining about him and the program so every parent knows why they are getting one.

Stephen quilting the last quilt he made before he died. It was for one of our staff members who was having a baby. Miss you my friend.

Recently, I realized that our funds were running low in our account to support this program and started brainstorming what to do to save it. It means so much to me, the kids, the staff and to Stephen’s partner J. It had to be saved! Knowing about The Bookworm Box, I took a shot. I wrote an email to Colleen Hoover, describing our program and pleaded that she make our small tiny little insignificant program a source of her donations. I wrote it after a night of working, so I am sure I rambled on and on and on without any commas, but I had to try right? A Fat Girl has to take a chance! I hit send and never heard a word back. Ok….well I tried.

Tonight, my Seester calls me and asks me if I watched the video Colleen had made about the upcoming Bookworm Boxes. Ummmm…No. I tried to watch the video but my phone was being persnickety. I had seen when they were coming out (Sunday April 19 at 3pm central time btw) and made an alarm in my phone so I could try and get one. What was the big deal? She starts screaming at me to go watch it like someone had died or something. What the heck? I was naked of course, as I was gonna get in the shower but answered her call (thank goodness it wasn’t a video call), so didn’t want to go to my computer. Frustrated, Seester plays the video and holds up her phone so I can hear it…and then it happened. I heard plain as day, Colleen Hoover say MY name and talk about our Stephen’s Quilts for Kids and how she was donating $5000 to us!! I can’t even. Naked screaming occurred and I ran around my house, completely bare ass naked screaming at my Seester on the phone. My curtains may have been open in my living room and I may have given the neighbors a show. Naked Fat Girl Dance of Joy then occurred and I started sobbing. Sobbing so hard I couldn’t even talk to my Seester for a few minutes. Just watch…do your own Dance of Joy and let your eyes leak for a bit…

For reals. I cannot even begin to say how grateful I am that Colleen read my email and decided to help us. I just can’t even. More naked screaming might have occurred and I might have even forgotten to shower I was so excited. I also might have peed a little in excitement…thank goodness I have wood floors. So anyways…try and get your hands on a Bookworm Box this Sunday to help support us…I know I will! If you can’t and want to make a donation anyways then go to the link here for theFlagstaff Medical Center Foundation and make sure you designate your donation for Stephen Findley Quilts for Kids. This is an amazing opportunity for our kiddos that we serve. I am so glad I took a chance. Words have power. Emails can change lives. This is why Colleen is my favorite author EVER. Colleen Hoover…I want to be you when I grow up. Seriously. And from the bottom of my heart…THANK YOU!

Now excuse me, but my eyes are leaking and I need to maybe go shower since I forgot that earlier. Oh yeah…and maybe clean up a puddle of pee.

Oh yeah. I didn’t die today. I did have one of the most amazing things happen in memory of my friend Stephen but I didn’t die. I am Fat Girl who runs through her house naked while screaming and leaking pee Running. The experiment continues…

I love hanging out with my work peeps..I have said before that they are like my other family and it really is true. We actually organize events every couple of months to all hang out together and have fun outside of work. BFF’s unit does this as well and her activities with her unit always involve some sort of outdoors activity like hiking or skiing or some sort. Ours….well let’s just say they usually involve some sort of alcohol adult activity. It should say something about my work peeps. We just like to have a good time! Occasionally, we will have a family event and recently we all decided to meet up to see the new live action Cinderella movie. Now you know I was all about seeing this since it is a Disney movie so BFF were totally down. Remember how I talked about our super close friend that just got married and has the Twins? We shall now call her Work Bestie or WB for short since she really isn’t a bride to be anymore but is an old married woman about to pop with her next baby girl. Well, WB, her sister, the Twins, BFF and I all met up for dinner before the movie and then went together to meet up with everyone. We literally took up two movie theater rows with everyone that ended up coming, which a lot of fun.

WB and the twins sat on one side of BFF and I sat on the other next to one of the boys I work with and his new wife. When the previews started, Twin A got up and asked if she could sit on my lap and snuggle…who am I to say no to that? So there we are, all sitting together getting ready to enjoy a movie. Watching a movie with 9 year olds can be quite the adventure. My god daughters are sometimes the hardest to watch a movie with because Big Red always wants to know what is gonna happen and Little Red can talk the whole way through it. Having not been with the Twins to the movies before, I was unsure what to expect. I am sure we all know the story of Cinderella and if you don’t….well then we most certainly cannot be friends. Apparently, this story line must have not have registered with the girls or they really never aid attention to all the death and dying that happen. When the Mom says to Ella that she “must leave her”, Twin B turned to BF and asked what that meant. BFF, being the blunt person she is said to her “It means she is gonna die now”. Twin B then exclaimed “Oh man! This sucks!” Being quite the girly girl that she is, however, Twin B loved the movie. I think she would like to be the Princess herself and move into the Castle.

Twin A, still snuggled up on my lap, had quite a different reaction to the movie. You see, Twin B is a little bit different from her sister. She is more the tomboy of the 2, playing sports and preferring to wear pants over dresses. Twin B is the dancer and all things girl twin. When all the parents die, Twin A turned to me and said “Why is there so much DRAMA in this movie? Why is everyone dying? This is horrible for children!” in her most dramatic voice she could possibly muster. Of course, this sends me, BFF and the Murse (that is male nurse for all you non-nursy peeps out there) sitting next to me into giggling fits that are hard to control. But wait….it just gets better. When the clock strikes midnight, I hear her say “Well…she’s toast.” She closed her eyes to avoid seeing kissing and asked why there has to be kissing. But the best comment was at the magical part of the movie.

You all know the part where the Fairy Godmother comes and turns Cinderella into this beautiful Princess, complete with the jaw dropping gown and glass slippers? Remember what she says? The oh so famous phrase of Bibbidi…Bobbidi…BOO is uttered and magic occurs. We all know this song (which was decidedly lacking in this movie) and I believe I have uttered it when granting wishes myself to my own God daughters. But really…Twin A took the cake with this one that had me and BFF laughing so hard we both almost peed our pants. So, here is the Fairy Godmother, creating magic and chaos all in a few flicks of her wand and the gorgeous dress and glass slippers appear. She waves her wand and utters her famous words. Twin A, however, put her own spin on this phrase when Cinderella becomes all decked out and looked at me and said “Bibbidi…Bobbidi…BAM!” complete with a hand gesture to emphasize the word BAM. No truer words were said. Pretty sure Disney should take the advice of a 9-year-old and change the lyrics of this classic. I mean, for reals. I swear we could not stop laughing. Also, can I put in my order for a Fairy Godmother who would grant me an endless supply of Skittles, pie and waffles? What more does a girl need? A little BAM!…and here is your waffle that you can now use as a whipped cream convenance device. Because any time is a good time for waffles. Or pie. A wave of the wand and BAM! Endless supply of pie. MMMMMMM…pie. Thanks Twin A for making going to the movies so much fun. You are never too young to be sarcastic.

Oh yeah. I didn’t die today. I did discover the joy of going to the movies with a sarcastic 9-year-old, but I didn’t die. I am Fat Girl wishing for a Fairy Godmother to give me a Bibbidi…Bobbidi..BAM! and a waffle Running. The experiment continues…

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Until recently, I had never met my publisher. You see, Inknbeans is located in California and it is not like I have a private jet at my disposal to jet around meeting people. I mean if anyone wants to loan me their private jet, I would be glad to take advantage of it. Think of all the cool places I could go. Oh who am I kidding? You know I would just use it to fly to DL. Speaking of…at my birthday trip to the House of Mouse, I was fortunate enough to finally meet the head of Inknbeans, who we all lovingly call Boss Bean. I was super excited when she suggested we meet up and that she would meet us for lunch. Plans were made and we even discussed what we were wearing…I felt like I was a spy meeting with my contact in a busy restaurant for my next assignment. Although, I must admit, I loved that Boss Bean said she was going to be wearing a Mickey Mouse top hat with a sprig of holly….jolly good sport that Boss Bean.

Now don’t get me wrong, I had skyped with Boss Bean, but her image was never on the Skype calls and no live video feed, so really I had no idea what she looked like. It really was like a secret agent meeting in a restaurant. BFF and I decided that since I had never met her, that maybe she was really like Charlie on Charlie’s Angels. We wondered if a speaker box would greet us at Tortilla Joe’s and Boss Bean’s voice would materialize saying “Good Afternoon Angels” and we would be given our secret mission to be completed in DL…a mission sure to include a Dole Whip or two. I mean, really…what secret mission wouldn’t include Dole Whip? We also wondered…would the speaker box have the Mickey Top Hat on it all jaunty like? What would her secret mission be? Run through DL throwing pie at people and shouting Viva #FatGirlRevolution? Hold up copies of my book on the rides that take photos so everyone can see it? Needless to say, we eagerly waited in anticipation of our meeting.

The day of our meeting with Boss Bean, we walked into Tortilla Joes and I have to admit…I was slightly nervous. I was not sure what to expect out of the meeting. Would she tell me she was disappointed in me? Would they let me go? Would I get a slap on the wrist for my lack of commas? BFF was afraid she would make a fool out of us and I would have to banish her to the bathroom to eat guacamole in a stall. Gross. We were unsure as to who to look for besides the speaker because honestly, I didn’t think she would really wear the Mickey top hat. When we didn’t see anyone in the lobby of the restaurant, we sat down to wait to see who else might be looking for someone. Luckily, the hostess came back and said she thought our Boss Bean was already in there and led us to a table. There sat, not a speaker box, but a wonderful woman who indeed had a Mickey top hat complete with a sprig of holly on it!! We half expected her to still say “Hello Angels” but were so excited at the prospect of meeting her that we might have talked at lightening speed for the two hours we sat there eating. Good thing Boss Bean can keep up with us and laugh with us (or at us sometimes). BFF jokingly told her about how we thought she was like the elusive Charlie and she giggled, telling us the reason there were no pictures of her on the website or on Skype because she is NOT the face of Inknbeans…the authors are the face of Inknbeans. Yup…pretty sure I made the right decision on publishing houses. I cannot say enough how wonderful Boss Bean is and how much she means to me. She took a chance on a Fat Girl and shined me up like a new penny I tell ya. And she has a great sense of humor. It is not everyone that can keep up with BFF and I word for word, but she can.

Lots of guacamole and food later, none of which BFF had to eat in the bathroom stall since she behaved herself, we reluctantly said good-bye to the Boss Bean. We would have loved to have taken her into DL and played, but she had to do things like work and promote books and such things of that nature. Much to my relief, she did not tell me I sucked or that they did not want to publish me anymore. BFF and her already named book 3 so I guess I had better get blogging more!! I told you I had a lot to catch you up on…We all parted ways, with Boss Bean walking away in the sunshine, jaunty Mickey top hat on her head, just like Charlie was always portrayed walking down the beach. Except we weren’t on a beach and she isn’t Charlie but you get the point. It was a great meeting…one I cannot wait to repeat because she is not only my publisher, but also a friend. Love Boss Bean!!

And she might have given me a special mission….one I cannot tell you or I would have to kill you but one I am working on now. It might have involved throwing pie at random people in DL but we won’t discuss that either. You shall just have to stay tuned to see what comes of this special mission she handed to me…one of her Angels.

Oh yeah. I didn’t die today. I did, however, meet up with my publisher in person and have a wonderful meeting complete with guacamole, laughter and a jaunty Mickey top hat complete with a sprig of holly. I am Fat Girl who is also a Boss Bean Angel with a a secret mission Running. The experiment continues…

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Sometimes I feel as if my life is nothing but some wild ride in my imagination. I cannot even fathom the situations BFF and I find ourselves in, let alone the fact that people actually read my blog, buy my books and that a publisher actually publishes me. This month has been a whirlwind so far in that realm as I have been preparing for the release of the second installment of my Running Experiment. Yup…you read that right, the SECOND book is due to come out soon my sweet readers. So open up your pocketbooks and get ready for some laughter. There are even book exclusive essays for you to read…never published before. I am so thrilled!! Thrilled that Inknbeans took another chance on me…a simple Fat Girl who doesn’t mind putting her life out there for you all to read. Viva la Fat Girl Revolution!! What? It’s a thing…I am gonna make it a thing anyways…let’s make it our new hashtag with everything. #FatGirlRevolution I see it catching on..I wanna see it trend on Twitter because that would be awesome!

In all this prep work that my wonderful publisher, the Boss Bean, has put into my book, has been the discussion of a cover and a book title. Immediately, BFF said that the title HAD to be The Revenge because all good sequels are the revenge or the return of something. I laughed and quickly dismissed her title idea because I never thought Boss Bean would go for it. But BFF does have a point. I mean sequels are usually about revenge, right? And since I didn’t go anywhere, the return really didn’t make sense. Where would I be returning from? The sofa? The edge? The brink? Where are these places anyways? I mean do you have to travel to them? Can you say to your family “Yeah I decided to take my vacation this year to The Brink”? Pretty sure everyone would flock there and it would no longer be this elusive thing and then we would have to start a travel club and all sorts of things. Way too much work for me. I prefer just to be The Revenge. What do I have to be revengeful about? Hmmmm….good question. The sofa? Cancer? The Brink? I have no idea but it is a good idea. I like to create mayhem, remember, and a Fat Girl Revenge could involve many things but for sure throwing hummus. Why hummus? Because chickpeas. That is all.

This week, Boss Bean emailed me the new updated cover for my book. You may have seen what we originally thought was going to be my book entitled The Running Experiment: A Weekly Walk Away From the Sofa Book 2 Further From the Sofa. I had that cover posted for a while on Facebook (and if you don’t follow me there or on twitter you are surely missing out!) but then she told me she had a surprise for me! Unlike my weirdo BFF, I like surprises. She sent it to me in my email when I was in the midst of a rousing game of Clue with my Redheaded god-daughters and BFF and there was lots of squealing and jumping up on down…and not on the Reds part. Best. Cover. Ever. Wanna see it? Ok…cue dramatic reveal music here…

Have I said how much I love my publisher Inknbeans?

There you have it! The cover for the new book! Squee! BFF got her wish and the title is one I completely owe to her. So thank BFF next time you see her for such an awesome book title. Soon I shall have a preorder link as well to share with you lovelies. Can you hardly stand it? I cannot! I am even dancing now…at work…to celebrate…to Shake It Off of course. Fat Girl Dance of Joy!

On another slightly revealing note to celebrate, I am down 8.2 pounds on Nutrisystem! Woot Woot! Maybe I will be the Skinny Girl Running….nah….I will always have an inner Fat Girl for sure. But, in one month I have lost 8.2 pounds! This is the lowest I have been in a very long. Thank you Nutrisystem for getting me to lose weight, feel full and still enjoy food like I like to enjoy it. This is a great program and I cannot tout it enough to all you other Fat Girls out there. They have counselors on-line you can even talk to about things like taking a vacay to The Brink to help you through it. I mena we have all been there. So come back from The Brink and Shake It Off….you can do it…I am!

Oh yeah. I didn’t die today. I did get a HUGE surprise in the form of The Revenge but I didn’t die. I am Fat Girl coming back from The Brink to have The Revenge of the Sofa AND losing 8.2 pounds Running, #FatGirlRevolution The experiment continues…