November 17, 2010

Hell’s Kitchen Recap: The Same Mistake Over and Over and Over Again

After being bombarded with 2 hours of RAAAAW food a week, I felt undernourished by a single episode of Hell’s Kitchen this week. I’ll try to stop with the food jokes now. But watching South Park up for it (Cartman did a spot-on impression of Chef Ramsey).

The chefs were all excited to have their black jackets, except for chauvinistic Trev, who was complaining it was him vs “the harem.” Um, you do know that Russell’s still around, right Trev? Or is there something Russell hasn’t disclosed to the rest of the world?

The Challenge: Individual challenge time! Before the challenge even began, Baby Spice was drooling over an executive chef who was all tan and handsome and stuff. The challenge was to create a dish that was tasty, creative and nice to look at (like the executive chef Ludo Lefebvre, I mean he is hot. Just look at the picture. Sigh. ). Baby Spice was in the Chef Ramsey spirit by muttering “Fuck Me” while blending her ingredients. And Nona brought the Southern Girl back (remember her from the first episode?) by making shrimp and grits. The judging of the challenge was set up to look like Dancing With The Stars. But we did figure out how to shut Baby Spice up: put a hot, French man in front of her. And when he critiqued her, she suddenly got her Ghetto Bitch back. But when he liked the taste, the romance was back on. Such a flip flopper! And while Gail held the lead for most of the challenge, Russell took the lead with a perfect score (because a few drops of olive oil is “sexy” in the culinary world). And while Trev hoped to tie, his frog legs were just as gross as it sounds and lost.

Prize: Russell got to tour L.A. Market with Kerry Simon, executive chef of the restaurant he will one day get to *hopefully* cook in. He got to pick one other chef to bring with him and he picked Gail, since she came in second place. Russell looked, well, underenthused (“it has nice tiles lining the kitchen”. That was really a comment he made). The best part of the prize? Chef Ramsey was wearing a plaid shirt. It was only funny because it looked so out of place on him.

Punishment: The remaining 4 chefs had to prep the kitchen and clean their dorm. Can they come clean my house while they’re at it? Trev was childish and stupid. Again. ‘Nuff said about him.

Dinner Service: Nona was picked to go tableside (which I feel like is an easy-pass to the next round) and cook a steak (“Please don’t set this on fire” Ramsey pleaded with Nona). But more importantly, Chef Ramsey presented the chefs with their future salary on a platter. That’s right, $250,000 in cash. Check please! I’ll wrap that up and take it to go! The King Of Lobster Spagehtti (aka: Trev) started off the appetizers loudly and poorly. Chef Scott had enough of The King and screamed at him. So then Trev took it out on Baby Spice. As she said, they need a relationship counselor ASAP.

Chef Ramsey was PISSED. Pointing fingers at everyone, making Mia Hamm wait an hour for an appetizer, was just not acceptable. Gail said it best when she stated that none of the chefs deserved to be wearing the black jackets. But you know what they say: sometimes you have to hit rock bottom to start to get better. Too bad Baby Spice still couldn’t get it together. She couldn’t even make a salad right. Seriously. Chef Ramsey decided that everyone gave up, so he gave up. Or at least threatened to by saying that the next person to fuck up would shut the kitchen down. Which you know meant ‘I’m going to tear the black jacket off of you with my bear hands!” And guess who it was…Russell. Chef Ramsey threw his usual tantrum, but also threw a raw steak at Trev. It’ll go nicely on his bruised ego.

It’s a disappointment that at the final six, the kitchen is still getting shut down. The chefs went back to the dorm and tried to agree on who was up for elimination. Baby Spice was playing the game by getting Jillian to change her vote to Gail instead of her. Russell was trying to take control of the group, but failing at it.

Up For Elimination:

Trevor (because he held up appitizers) and Baby Spice (because she didn’t do well there either).

Baby Spice tried to throw Gail under the bus and pulled out the tearful “I try so hard” card. However, it was all in vain because the eliminated contestant was…Baby Spice.

Shocking? Will anyone miss the Ghetto Bitch? Will anyone this season actually run LA Market? Next week: Chef Ramsey walks away and Paris Hilton stops by.

Related

Over the past couple weeks, Islamophobia and what one might call “Shariaphobia” have been gaining ground with right wingers in a terrifying way. To provide some background, Sharia law is the religious law governing the life of Muslims, and its principal sources are the Qur’an and the hadith (sayings and deeds of the Prophet Muhammad).