On the Idiot Box: "The Returning," "Dracula" and "Sleepy Hollow"

The ReturnedThursdays, 9pm, Sundance ChannelCaptive audience:Supernatural lovers; international TV watchers; people who just can’t deal with The Walking Dead right now.Moment of truth: The supernatural show you should not miss comes to us all the way from France. Based on a 2004 French film, this eight-part drama has formerly deceased residents of a French mountain town coming back and trying to make sense of their sudden resurrections. The show is as moody, suspenseful and hypnotic as you’d expect. But it’s also surprisingly warm and human as the show focuses on the families and loved ones of these ex-corpses as they, too, attempt to figure what this means. Watch this before the upcoming American remake fucks everything up.Emmy or phlemmy: Emmy.

DraculaFridays, 10pm, NBCCaptive audience: Supernatural lovers; Scandal/Profit fans; those sad-ass teenage girls and middle-aged women who are still upset the Twilight saga is over.Moment of truth: Just when you thought The Tudors star Jonathan Rhys Meyers was done starring in a period drama that had him scheming and seducing all over the place, here he comes playing the alpha bloodsucker in this weekly horror show. Apparently, this story plays more like a gruesome, Victorian version of The Count of Monte Cristo, with Rhys Meyers’ Dracula assuming the role of an American entrepreneur out to destroy the secret society that killed his wife oh-so-long ago. As much as this show boldly goes all out with the gore and erotic stuff, it’s still more soap opera-ey than bloody.Emmy or phlemmy: Phlemmy.

Sleepy HollowMondays, 9pm, FoxCaptive audience:Supernatural lovers; Buffy the Vampire Slayer/The X-Files fans; people who always pictured Ichabod Crane as hunky.Moment of truth: Well, this new supernatural show appears to be doing well for Fox, with its premise of Ichabod Crane (the scruffy-but-studly Tom Mison) waking up after 250 years and teaming up with a lieutenant (Shame’s Nicole Beharie) to defeat evil forces and other twisted, gothic stuff going on in the titular town. Even though this is winning over audiences, with the show’s creators (including Star Trek writers Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman and Underworld director Len Wiseman) aiming for a enjoyably spooky/scary time to be had by all, I gotta say this is a bit too wackadoodle for me.Emmy or phlemmy: Phlemmy.