Monday, March 26, 2012

More Beiber Real Estate Fever

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: It was only three weeks ago that gaggles of Bieberheads, Bieberites and Bieberinas around the globe went bat-shit berserk over the many rumors and reports about bubble gum pop music superstar Justin Bieber being on the hunt for a house to call home in Los Angeles, CA.

His own people confirmed their mass-marketed money making machine—the 18 year old reportedly earned more than fifty million bucks in 2010—had indeed had a peep and a poke around the very contemporary wood, glass and steel mansion perched above Los
Angeles' little-known Lake Hollywood and currently leased by sitcom star and Twitter-addict Ashton Kutcher.

Property gossips and Bieberkins alike were further tantalized when those same people told gossip juggernaut TMZ the tweenager's dreamboat had also twice toured a couple of mansions in the hot and Hades western Los Angeles suburb of Calabasas. They went on to say The Biebs had not yet made an offer on a property and was, in fact, still looking for that special real estate lady.

Well, dontcha know, my pretty little ponies, just a couple days later a huge, hacienda-style mini-compound on 1.28 acres in the celebrity-friendly, double-gated enclave of The Oaks in Calabasas was quietly taken off the open market and this morning the celebrity scuttlebutters at X17 reported the very same house in The Oaks was "snatched up" by baby-faced and filthy rich Mister Bieber.

Listen, children, Your Mama is well aware some of y'all think it's
beneath our dignity to discuss an international pop music phenomena like
Mister Bieber. And we feel your pain. Howevuh, we got a mortgage to pay
and insurance premiums to keep up just like everybody else so, for the sake of
business, we're going with it. Not interested in The Biebs
and his (alleged) real estate activities, then scoot yer boot until
we have something more suitable for your delicate celebrity real estate
palette, okaay?

We may be marinated in booze like a perfectly preserved fruitcake from Christmas past but Your Mama instantly recognized the mansion pictured on X17 as the very same one acquired in May 2006 for $7,500,000 by actor/comedian Eddie Murphy's former model ex-wife and baby momma Nicole Murphy. Miz Murphy, now engaged or maybe married to former professional football player Michael Strahan (we don't know), flipped the 9,215 square foot behawtcha back on the market in August 2007 with a terribly optimistic asking price of $9,995,000.

Unfortunately for her, the house didn't sell it until April 2011 when it was finally taken off ex-Missus Murphy's hands by a non-celebrity for $5,515,000. A few quick and unscientific calculations on our bejeweled abacus shows poor ex-Missus Murphy lost a pocketbook punishing $1,985,000, not counting carrying costs and real estate fees. No wonder the short-haired and large-chested stunner signed on to appear on Hollywood Exes, a reality program about—you got it—a variety of L.A.-based ex-wives of famous athletes and Showbizzers. Like we said a moment ago, a person sometimes has to do what a person sometimes has to do to keep milk in the fridge.

Anyhoo, the new owner of Miz Murphy's real estate albatross gave the place a quick spit and polish—it appears from images in X17 all or most of the
Spanish tile from around the swimming pool was removed—and quickly flipped the
property back on the market four months after buying with an asking price of around $6,000,000.

Listing information we teased up out of the interweb shows the sprawling two-story main house includes all the rooms to be expected in a lavish mansion (living, dining, kitchen, family, library, office and home theater) plus 6 bedrooms and 7 bathrooms—or 7 bedrooms and 8 bathrooms depending where on the listing on looks—6 fireplaces, two three car garages, one elevator and a double-height entry with a sensually coiled staircase embedded with fab decorative Spanish tiles.

Outdoor spaces include an interior courtyard with fireplace and built-in barbecue station. Many rooms at the rear of the residence open to the backyard lounging and entertaining areas where there are fountains and flat expanses of lawn, a pergola-shaded and vine-draped dining terrace, a swimming pool with embedded spa, and a detached casita with fireplace, facility and kitchen.

Property records do not yet reflect a transfer of ownership and Your Mama freely confesses to no inside intel about The Bieb's real estate affairs so it's very possible this is all just some real estate dish, just nugget of celebrity property scuttlebutt that may or may not prove to have any validity. Okaaay?

Miz Murphy and her fiancée (or hubby) Michael Strahan recently sold another luxury residence, a gated, 6 bedroom and 8 bathroom faux-Tuxcan villa in a gated community in the Brentwood area of Los Angeles (CA), they bought in November 2009 for $5,000,000 and sold at a substantial profit in mid-March 2012 for $6,150,000.

NOTE: The children will all please note that listing photos above depict the house as it appeared at the time Miz Murphy sold it in April 2011 and may or may not show an accurate reflection of its current state.

UPDATE (later same day): It seems gossip juggernaut TMZ once again came through with some details and subsequent to our discussion posted the "exclusive details" on the current Bieber real estate situation out in Calabasas. According to TMZ's unidentified source The Biebs made an low ball offer on the property in question but no agreement has been reached; The Biebs (reportedly) offered somewhere in the neighborhood of $5.5 million for the house that was priced at "around 7+ million." If the seller doesn't want to wheel and deal, so the story goes, The Biebs will move on. TMZ's source(s) said the young singer even looked a another house in the Hollywood Hills that his not the house Ashton Kutcher rents.

I'm going to echo Carla Ridge's comment that this house just doesn't look like something an 18-year-old would be happy in. Sadly, 18-year-old kids should be in their parent's spare room over the garage or in a college dorm. At times I think adults who exploit kids in this manner should be held accountable. Justin might want to haunt ebay for old 70's and 80's issues of Tiger Beat and see what the "teen idols" of that period are doing now. I wish this kid a good, happy future wherever that should lead him.

On a personal level, were I 18 with buckets of money, I'd have a giant yacht, with an all female crew and screw my brains out with any hot thing I could pick up during trips on shore. You can always rent an apartment when you're old, the money is shot and just sit in your recliner and smile about all the "wild time".

sorry, but the interior looks like it's from the 70's--not a decade to EVER repeat in decorating.I am sure all the neighbors are sitting up nights, PRAYING that the Bieb rolls on....far far far away.....love the comment , mama. scoot our boots!!!! least you didn't threaten us with the spoon!!

Outside is a gorgeous Mediterranean looking building. The inside really really sucks. If this is how it still looks then Bieb should go even lower for this piece of property. The kitchen needs remodeling immediately, the walls should never be white like that but an off-white cream color. Do not go above 3m for this as it will take 2m or more to fix it up.

1. Why would an 18 year old, or ANYBODY want to live in Calabasas? Gross.2. This house screams "family home". I don't get it... it doesn't suit an 18 year old at all.

Why couldn't he buy a nice large condo in Sierra Towers or a sexy bachelor pad in the Hollywood Hills? Or a gated community in Beverly Hills at least? Wouldn't that be closer to work than dead-end, hot as hell Calabasas?