Why You Shouldn't Praise Your Kids Too Much

You might just be raising a little narcissist.

Every parent wants their child to do their best, but it turns out that telling them they "are the best" or "special" is a big no-no.

In a study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, researchers evaluated 565 children (ages 7 to 12) and their parents to discover the origin of narcissism. The group was interviewed four times over an 18-month period.

Children of parents who described them as "more special than others" and believed they "deserved a little extra in life" are more likely to grow up to act as if they're better than everyone else. And although the parent's hope is to boost their kid's self-esteem, over-praising will do more harm to them (and society) than good, says lead author of the study Eddie Brummelman, a researcher at the University of Amsterdam.

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To raise a son or daughter with a healthy level of self-esteem, Brad Bushman, another author on the study, says a parent's emphasis should be on love and affection instead of inflating a child's view of him or herself. "It is important to express warmth to your children because that may promote self-esteem, but overvaluing them may promote higher narcissism," he told NPR. Narcissism, in turn, has been linked to other negative traits, such as aggression and violence.

This study is the first to take an in-depth look at where narcissism comes from, discovering that narcissists are bred, not born. The good news is that narcissistic behavior can be changed if love becomes the focus, not the fact that the kid is extra-special.