5 Things That Don’t Matter To Women In Bed (And 5 That Do)

Between men’s health magazines and your guy friends’ advice, it can be hard to separate truth from fiction to find out what women actually want in bed. Chances are, though, that the things you’re most worried about aren’t a big deal at all. Remember these things before you decide to get naked with someone else again:

It DOESN’T matter if your finishing time is a bit fast. Women (or most of them, anyway) understand that you can’t always force an orgasm to wait a while, even when you’re trying your hardest. Yes, it may be a bit disappointing if there’s a lot of excitement that culminates in sixty seconds of actual sex, but don’t worry about lasting “all night” — most women don’t want to have sex for hours on end anyway.

It DOES matter that she gets off. The easiest way to ensure this is to make sure she climaxes before intercourse even happens. But even if your big O happens before hers, you can still do right by her by spending time afterward to make sure she gets her orgasm too. Don’t just roll over and fall asleep, leaving her sexually unfulfilled beside you.

It DOESN’T matter that you’re not a porn star. No one’s expecting you to have Magic Mike hip action, and a lot of the acrobatics you see in porn don’t actually feel that great in real life. Being a bit average at intercourse isn’t going to make a woman block your number and tell all your friends how awful you were. Just put some effort in and you’ll probably be fine.

It DOES matter that you include foreplay. Seriously, don’t just yank her pants down and stick it in. Foreplay is important for women not only to physically “warm up” before the main event but also because it’s difficult or even impossible for most women to orgasm from penetration alone. Contain yourself just a bit longer and spend some time pleasuring her before you go all in.

It DOESN’T matter that your body isn’t perfect. If a woman has chosen to have sex with you, she already has an idea of what your body looks like. She’s not going to be shocked if you take your shirt off and reveal some chub around your middle or non-beefy biceps. Just remember that she wanted to see you naked and try not to be self-conscious about your perceived imperfections.

It DOES matter that you make her feel sexy. Let your eyes linger over her body. Kiss her from her neck and go down her legs. Tell her with actual words that she’s gorgeous and make sure she knows you mean it. It shouldn’t be a surprise that women like to feel like people rather than sexual objects, so treat the woman you’re sleeping with like it’s truly a privilege to be able to share this experience with her.

It DOESN’T matter that you’re not perfectly manscaped. Don’t fret if you’re a bit fuzzy down there (as long as you wouldn’t care if the woman you’re sleeping with was also unshaven). Getting a pube on the tongue while giving a blowjob isn’t necessarily a turn-on for women, but it’s also not the end of the world. Maintain your body hair in a way that makes you comfortable; chances are, the woman you’re with won’t even notice as long as it’s not dyed bright pink.

It DOES matter that you’re hygienic. If you can smell yourself a little, she’ll be able to smell you a lot. If you know you’re getting laid tonight, do a thorough job of washing up beforehand, and pay special attention to all your body’s manly crevices. Don’t feel bad about quickly jumping in the shower beforehand, either — the woman you’re with will appreciate the extra effort much more than she’ll appreciate the smell of sweaty scrotum.

It DOESN’T matter that you’re not above average in size. Different women prefer different sizes, but even if you don’t have the paint-by-number dick she had in mind, she probably won’t consider it a dealbreaker. Guys seem to spend a lot more time thinking about penis size than women do, so just work with what you have, big or small.

It DOES matter that you prioritize protection. Nothing kills the mood faster than admitting you don’t have any condoms. Even if you don’t care, your sexual partner has to make an awkward choice between taking a big risk (that frankly isn’t worth it) or turning down sex for the night. Have condoms ready and accessible, and take the initiative to put one on when she tells you she’s ready.