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Before I was asking women for the time, before I was sitting in a strip club staring at the wall and drinking my tea, and a long before I was asking random women on the street if they’d like to sleep with me, I was sitting in front of my computer with my notebook open and my pen in hand filling in the blank for this statement: “At the end of 21 days, I would like _______”. Here’s what I wrote down:

I would like to possess the confidence to approach a woman anywhere and express my attraction to her in a genuine and composed manner.

At this time, my problem wasn’t that I was unable to seduce women. I have a comfortable level of success with women, but I’ve never been able to seduce, or even approach, those exceptionally beautiful women who I saw on a daily basis and their beauty was so intimidating that I nearly pissed myself at the mere thought of approaching them.

Coupled with that was the fact that the majority of my success with women was in bars or clubs. Unless I had a warm introduction with a woman, I almost never would approach her if it wasn’t inside a bar or club. Part of me felt that approaching in a nonsocial environment was wrong, that I needed some kind of excuse to speak to her, and that was limiting many opportunities for me.

Having to make an excuse to approach a woman outside of a club, was not at all what I wanted. In clubs, I’m very direct and make no excuses about why I approach a woman. I wanted to be able to use this same style of approach anywhere I met women.

The program started pretty slow. For the first 11 days, it seemed as if all I was doing was asking for the time. However, in the process of doing all these approaches, I began to understand that I was making a lot of excuses to avoid approaching women. Whether it be the angle of the approach, how preoccupied or hurried she looked, or her being on the phone, I always had some excuse to pass up an opportunity.

After I had actually approached women in these situations which I had excused my way out of before, I noticed that the excuses were very irrational and that my perception was the only thing holding me back, not the minor details of the situation.

A few of the exercises had me project different emotional states as I approached women. I noticed a lot by doing this. For example, when I approached women with excitement they typically fell into my frame and seemed to get a little excited themselves. If I approached with desire in mind, it definitely came across in the way that I looked at them, and I can’t be 100% positive, but once or twice I think that they really picked up on it and I got some interesting looks in return.

At the time, I was sick to death of asking people for the time, but in hindsight, it was more helpful than I thought. Doing hundreds of approaches and projecting different body language and tonality allowed me to really understand that I can elicit certain responses from people based on my internal frames and state going into the interaction.

There are three or four exercises in a row that involved the theme of repression. This seemed to help a lot, especially with my goal of being able to remain composed around beautiful women. I can’t say that at the time I felt any different, but at the end of the program I definitely felt like approaching the women that had intimidated me in the beginning wasn’t such a big scary thing anymore.

The exercises at the end were obviously just meant to increase the size of my balls. I can’t emphasize enough how fun this was. It was definitely my favorite part of the program. I used to do gags like this when I was a younger all the time, and I forgot how incredibly fun this can be. Not only is it fun, but it really helped me out. I definitely believe that it was necessary to do this for a long time, because I didn’t feel very capable of doing this until I had done it at least ten times. Now, doing something like asking a woman for the time is a joke in comparison.

Now that this whole thing’s over, it definitely put me a whole lot closer to achieving the goals I had originally set. I would say that I’m 98% able to approach women anywhere and genuinely convey my attraction to them, but the composure thing is definitely something that I have to keep working on. Over the past week I’ve approached several women in coffee shops, on the street, and everywhere except the club, and I’ve noticed that most of the time I feel calm, but occasionally, not always, with that really beautiful woman, I still can feel my heart racing when I’m talking to her.

This program could really be good for guys with approach anxiety. Also, for someone who does any of the stuff like I mentioned, such as make excuses or see myself as unable to approach a woman because of her status, then this would definitely be a great help. This is a very fast-paced, strict, and intense program, and that’s the reason I wanted to take it. If you can make time for this in your life and you are serious about getting this handled, then I suggest you take an intense program like this, and not waste time waiting for it to fix itself. Don’t expect this to fix your problems with confidence — mine aren’t 100% “fixed”, but this has put me on the right path and allowed me to move beyond the limiting beliefs that were stopping me before