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You Can’t Fix Stupid

No caption is required!

In an earlier blog post, Don’t You Have Anything Better to Do?, I described the antics of the mad crapper. Well, it’s more like the lunatic litterer, but I can tell the way he now tosses those styrofoam coffee cups onto my path (it used to be driveway), he’s sending a message.

Lord knows what that is, because I don’t think like a lunatic. Yet, mad crapper has more of a ring to it, the name no doubt plagiarized from a 1970 National Lampoon Magazine article.

The plethora of styrofoam coffee cups discarded into the road have now reached critical mass. I don’t care that this person despises me, but what I do care about is the environment. Evidently, this person hates the environment as well for who uses STYROFOAM cups today????

Since mid-November, someone leaves used styrofoam coffee containers on my parking lot and/or path. Every day. Without exception. My friends and I have gone through a list of who that may be. And let me tell you, that is some list! I’m very popular in my town, although not well liked.

Today, there was a terrible rainstorm which created ice slicks. I was stuck at my friend’s cafe all day because it was too dangerous to drive. In fact, people phoned and texted. “Stay put,” they advised. “There are car accidents all over the place.”

Another customer couldn’t wait and left. Minutes later, I received a phone call from her.

“Where are you?” I asked.

“Down the street. I hit an ice patch and let’s say I’m alive although stuck in a ditch. Don’t worry, my brother’s coming over to help me out.”

Late this afternoon, I walked outside and skidded ten feet. “That’s some ice!” I exclaimed to my friend who skidded right behind me. With trepidation I went to my car.

“You know what gets to me?” I said before opening the car door, “I bet my bottom dollar that that idiot risked life and limb to go out of his way to toss his coffee cup on my property.”