Austerity-fetishist food bank deniers the conservative party have given some homophobic God-botherers a billion pounds or two to agree with them for four years as Britain makes preparations to unnecessarily withdraw from the worlds biggest single market.

Prime Minister Theresa May has this morning been accused of subterfuge and deceit following mass realisation that the St George’s day bank holiday has somehow been moved to a Sunday when no-one is at work anyway,

Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn has this evening asked if parliament can possibly have another vote having realised that he just whipped his MPs to duck out of the world’s biggest free marketplace and leave Theresa May free to completely shaft workers rights.