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Thursday, February 16, 2017

The Love Dare Square

Surprisingly,
the bright day darkened
suddenly when we ran into an old friend, the laughter and levity of a
beautiful fall day spent at a small-town festival suddenly buried
under the weight of the news he shared.

We had
been celebrating all things black walnut - the nuts flavoring fudge,
homemade caramels, and our favorite, the ice cream. We stopped to
shop at one little booth after another as we strolled down the
crowded street, looking for vendors we had visited in the past,
chatting with people we knew along the way, and making our own “best
of show” selections from the multitude of classic cars filling the
streets and parking lots beyond the main drag. For once the weather
had cooperated beautifully with the event planners; the day held all
the colors of fall in the pleasant warmth of a summer day.

We were
headed to pick up some lunch when we saw him; a man pushing a
double-wide stroller that held his toddlers safely inside. He didn't
look overly pleased to see us, which was strange from a guy we had
been close to when we attended church together a few years ago. His
wife was also a friend; when we looked for her nearby, he stopped us
with the words, “We're not together anymore.”

Stunned,
we looked at him blankly. It was as if the words wouldn't register in
our brains. This was a happily-ever-after family, walking
side-by-side as they served the Lord, raised their kids and busily
made a life with one another. I had been in their wedding,
for Pete's sake! I'd prayed with
them, played with them, and later followed them on Facebook when our
lives went in separate directions. Recent posts had been full of new
jobs and vacation joys...I was simply blind-sided by the news. He
didn't offer many details; apparently the situation was new and
still-evolving, which gave me hope that perhaps they were just in the
midst of a difficult stretch that they would soon work themselves
past.

The
more I thought about the situation, the madder I got that love and
laughter was being stolen away from these two, leaving anger and
fighting in its wake. Suddenly my spirit reached the breaking point
and I vowed I would not
be an inactive witness to the wreck of yet another marriage.

But
what could I do? I
turned the question over to God, who reminded me that this couple had
been married for four years now, and we had been friends with them
longer than that. He asked if I loved them enough to give them forty
days. Seemingly a strange question, those last two words caught my
ears and I understood what He was suggesting. I might not be able to
halt the divorce proceedings, but my spirit wanted to give it a shot.

It
was time to enter the fray. I dug out my copy of The Love
Dare and began to pray. Featured
in the movie Fireproof,
The Love Dare is a
forty-day action plan to turn a struggling marriage around. I used it
as a prayer workbook of sorts, speaking the qualities of a loving
relationship in their embattled union, one by one, day by day. I
asked that their hearts be softened toward each other, that they find
the strength to let negative thoughts and actions go and replace them
with a willingness to work towards restoration, one issue at a time.

Perhaps
it's just the season of life I'm in, but engagements and weddings
abound in the circle of friends surrounding our family these days.
And all the above has caused me to look at the save-the-date
postcards that are arriving in our mailbox a little differently now.

What
if a wedding invitation meant you were invited to participate in the
marriage as well as
the ceremony and reception afterwards, if the acceptance to attend
involved more than just feasting, drinking heavily and dancing the
night away? Could it be that those in the wedding party itself are
party to something much bigger than just carrying rings in one's
pocket, holding flowers, or straitening the train? What if everybody
who responded affirmatively to an RSVP agreed to carrying the couple
in thought and prayer, standing beside them long after the wedding
date itself, holding them close, and helping to straighten out
thinking that has gotten twisted somehow? Maybe we are supposed to
“fight for the fairy-tale” of the couples around us, as well as
our own.

It was
at about this time that in my newly-rekindled passion for knitting I
discovered the pattern for a glorious afghan made up of individual
blocks in fabulous colors with a giant heart knit in the middle of
each. In my excitement to make it I ordered the first batch of yarn
and eagerly awaited its arrival so I could start. But by the time it
arrived I had calculated how much this project was going to cost and
the time it was going to take to complete it; I was ready to give up
on the idea before I had even begun.

And so
it is with any prayer project we undertake. We sign on eagerly at
first, full of purpose and persistence. However, as the days wear on,
our enthusiasm wears out, and we are tempted to abandon the action
midstream. But marriages are near and dear to God's heart and He
isn't about to give up on any; He wasn't going to let me do so,
either. He simply linked my prayer project to my knitting project and
dared me to take it one block and one couple at a time. Amazingly,
the pattern had forty-some rows; one row for each of the prayer
points in the book. And He reminded me that if we want to knit
commitment into the lives of couples we love, we have to first find
it within ourselves.

I have
rarely been able to resist a challenge from God. A side benefit of
this one is that I can hardly pray for other people's marriages
without seeing opportunities for growth in my own. What I ask God to
do in other unions He will also accomplish in mine.

I still
check the Facebook pages of the couple mentioned in the opening
paragraph, ever hopeful that picture posts and status updates might
indicate the tide has turned in their relationship and they are
together once more. And as the save-the-date announcements multiply
under the magnets on my fridge, I am grateful that I get to set each
couple up for marital success, one prayer square at a time.

“...for the Lamb who is in the midst of the throne will shepherd them and lead them to living fountains of waters. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.”

2 comments:

That is beautiful, Elaine. Marriage can be challenging at any stage and couples need lots of prayer support to make it through. That this couple is throwing in the towel after only four years is sad and I hope you'll be able to share good news before too long as their hearts are knit to one another once more. If only people could remember why they fell in love and got married in the first place!

Thank you, Susan! And I agree with your last sentence! I read somewhere that couples need to go back and do the things they used to do at first, and treat each other as they did back then - how could they NOT fall in love again?! Thanks for reading!

About Me

Welcome to my blog! I hope you find something here to bless and encourage you. I love writing about incidents in my life that reveal God's active presence in it and His incredible love for us all. I'm a happily married mother of three wonderful sons.
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