I feel like I just pulled the last pine needle out of the carpet yesterday, and it’s time to start the holidays all over again! And yet it’s comforting to think of all of the fun family times ahead…the cinnamon cookies, the crackling fireplace, the coconut Egg Nog (stay tuned for the recipe), the carolers, the snowfall (well, I can dream…) and all of the wonderful feelings of the season. Joy to the world! I truly do look forward to doing it all over again, if only the shopping could become a little easier…

Don’t get me wrong. I love shopping. It’s one of my favorite past-times and I freely admit shopping when happy, sad, anxious, bored, and most any time at all. But – don’t you agree that shopping has become harder and harder? Finding that perfect gift is like mining for diamonds…seldom do you find it, but you can die trying.

Although “gift cards” are all the rage, for a variety of reasons, I do not like giving them as gifts. I’ll do it, but only as a last resort. I much prefer a thoughtful, hand-selected, beautifully wrapped package accompanied by the delight (I hope) of watching the recipient open it up.

Fortunately, homeschooled kids are not all that hard to buy for. In fact, I can honestly say that over the years the children of homeschooled families have been the easiest to please. Birthday parties, classroom prizes, and holiday gifts are a breeze when a child is homeschooled because these children pretty much appreciate everything you give them, not to mention that they see the value in just about anything at all. I recall some years ago watching the kids in a rather large homeschooling group open gifts from a grab bag. Not a single one of them had a negative thing to say…that’s saying a lot for children of all ages. It was a proud moment.

By popular demand (okay, only 3 people, but in the blog world that makes me popular…), I am reprinting my homeschooler holiday wish list from last year. With a few revisions, that is. I hope that you find it as useful as last year’s, and use it as your guide when shopping for your favorite homeschooling families this go-round. Do add any other ideas you have in my COMMENT section. I’ll be sure to add them on to next year’s list. Happy shopping!

[Reprinted from last year, with some additions, too.]

Alright, let’s face it head-on. Like millions of other kids this time of year, your kids are looking forward to the gifts. This is not to say that your holiday traditions, many which focus on the “real” meaning of Christmas and family togetherness, are not valuable and cherished. But, in truth, there is no denying that the part children love most at this time of year is – the gifts. That’s right, I went there.

Having gotten that out of the way, what do your homeschoolers want for Christmas? Not unlike other children their age, their lists probably include cell phones and digital cameras, Transformers and Zhu Zhu pets, boots and clothing, Wii–Points cards, and any number of popular consumer items. But, the similarities end there.

Have you ever thought about what makes homeschoolers different when it comes to gift giving? After all, how many other kids on the block do you predict would be happy receiving the next fascinating book in a series or a beguiling box full of science projects? Off the top of your head, can you even name 2 people who are out shopping for building kits and origami sets right now?

Not knocking popular consumer items, because we all buy and enjoy them. But, after picking up the latest CD or video game, what else can you buy your homeschooler for Christmas? Here are my top picks for homeschooler gift-giving this holiday season:

Memberships and passes of any kind: Think IMAX movie bundles, theme park tickets, museum passes with reciprocal agreements, zoo memberships, and things of this nature. This is really the gift that keeps on giving.

Kits you make yourself: Forget those pricey boxed sets that are so beautifully packaged but actually contain very little inside. Think specifically of the child’s interests and purchase only those truly practical items that are needed for the project or craft you have in mind. Scrap-booking kits, sewing kits, art kits, and wood working kits are a few of the obvious ones. Stretch your imagination just a little bit farther to put together nature and wildlife observation kits, solar powered vehicle kits, Egyptian pyramid building kits, glittery mosaic making kits, fun dough and other kitchen chemistry type kits, and Japanese Anime drawing kits, too.

Games: Games, particularly portable board games (as opposed to anything attached to a TV or computer), can be an important part of any homeschooler’s existence. Because homeschooling families tend to be larger-than-average and often spend more time together, board games are a staple in the homeschooling household and can be a very appropriate gift for kids (and their parents) who become bored with the same old games week after week. Be sure to include thinking and strategy games for homeschooling kids, like chess, Othello, RISK, Mancala and others of this nature. Parent’s Choice award winners are always a good pick. Don’t hesitate to buy games that require more players than you have kids, either. These are the ones you’ll tote in the car for park days and homeschooling meetings so that your child can play with friends.

Physical activities: If you don’t already have these in your garage, consider purchasing new outdoor toys to keep your homeschooler fit and healthy. If a new bicycle is too expensive this year, consider a new skateboard or roller blades. Yard games like badminton, horse shoes, or volley ball can be fun if you have enough players. For smaller families, a Tetherball, soccer goal, or baseball trainer may be more appropriate. Include smaller items like jump ropes, bubble soaps, and those hook-and-loop catcher’s mitts, too, for taking along to the park or playing with friends. Don’t forget safety gear, like helmets and pads, as part of the gift. You can never go wrong with anything involving fitness and play.

Anything that recognizes your child’s special talents: You know your child best. Whether it is composing music on an electronic keyboard or drawing and animating dragons using computer software, make it happen for your homeschooler this year. Is there something you have observed about your child over the past few months? An aptitude for creative writing perhaps? A talent for public speaking maybe? Think of gifts that promote and encourage those skills for the coming year. If a classy set of leather bound journals and expensive writing utensils sounds exactly like the ticket you need for a budding, young writer, spend a little bit extra to recognize and reward this kind of intelligence. On the other hand, if a battery-operated microphone and a full-length mirror might get your child going, consider buying that instead. Your child will thank you for noticing, and you’ll experience the fulfillment of letting them grow into who they need to be.

Something school-like: Though it may surprise you, homeschooled kids sometimes wonder what it might be like to go to school. In particular, things like riding a school bus, carrying a backpack, and having a little plastic case full of school supplies sound like they might just be a lot of fun. If you think your child falls into this category, you might consider a gift of school supplies or some other school-like experience. Tickets to a camp or activity at a local school, zoo, or museum – maybe even one requiring riding a bus, is something to consider. Purchasing a back-to-school kit, including a trendy new backpack and other kinds of items found on a typical public school supply list, could also satisfy this need. Just because you are committed to homeschooling doesn’t mean your child cannot enjoy some of the simple pleasures of a more mainstream lifestyle.

**New** Favorites for this year:

Any CRANIUM game: I have never seen one of these fail. There are new games coming out all the time. Great, great.

Dr. Drew’s Blocks: Yes, even for older kids. These little wooden blocks attract lots of people every time you take them out…so, be sure to purchase the BIG set.

A Day Out: Take the gift child (only) somewhere they have always wanted to go. How often have you had to explain that the cost of going somewhere/doing something was too great for the entire family to afford? A special outing to a concert, a theme park, a workshop,or a sporting event can be even more special when the gift child gets to go with you. Think of spa days, go-kart rides, a train trip, a skiiing lesson, or anything your child has wished for in the past.

Magazine Subscriptions: I sometimes do not like giving subscriptions because they take too long to arrive. But, if the child is old enough to understand the whole delayed gratification aspect, and even better if you can wrap a copy of the magazine to give along with the subscription, it makes an awesome gift. There are too many great publications to list them all here, but find one of specific interest to the child getting it. I particularly love Boomerang. You can often get great deals on magazines thru fund-raisers, too, helping a cause at the same time.

Lessons: These make great grandparent gifts and combined/group gifts. With horseback riding and cello lesson prices really “up there”, asking several people to contribute toward an 8-week session or a semester’s worth of lessons makes for a very thoughtful and practical gift idea. Consider also classes offered through local ed departments, for fun and enrichment, in an area a child would really enjoy (martial arts? card making? painting? jewelry making? chess?).

Useless Junk: How many times has your child asked for something seen on TV or some useless little toy from the store, but you have refused, deeming the item too junky or worthless? Now would be the time to indulge. Fanciful little things, like those found in dollar stores, pharmacy chains and checkout lines, may not last long but can bring a big smile to the faces of children who have been wishing for these trinkets for a while. They may not last as long as wooden train sets or promote as much creativity as inter-locking blocks, but they can bring about [temporary] happiness as long as they’re still around.

Room decorations: Kids love to personalize spaces and there are some awfully cute wall stickers, coordinated bed sets and fun storage containers on the market now. Teen rooms can be decorated for peanuts using some of those fuzzy folding chairs, brightly-colored coffee tables and lamps, and very cool rugs out there, too. I love the idea of children doing their own mini room “makeovers”! You can provide the supplies and let them run wild. [Tip: funky shower curtains can be used on windows and table tops, too!]

Whatever the gift, rest easy knowing that your child will appreciate the time and effort you put into his or her gifts this year. Children who are the product of homeschooling families come to appreciate the thoughtfulness, practicality and cost of holiday gifts and are sure to enjoy whatever you select with them in mind. Just don’t forget the batteries!

I remember as a teenager going to the home of some children I was asked to babysit. The purpose of my visit that day was not to babysit, but for the mom to check me out before she trusted me with her children later that month. I remember she told me that she and her husband were attending a marriage “encounter”. I remember smiling sheepishly as I didn’t understand what that meant, plus it sounded X-rated so I didn’t want to appear that I knew what it was anyway.

I was asked to sit at the kitchen table while the mother, complete with hair “flip”, frilly apron and that 70’s red lipstick forming a perfect heart on her top lip, grilled me with questions and simultaneously showed me how she ran things around the house.

Flip Mom moved from topic to topic, talking about everything from safety to bedtimes to the childrens’ toilet habits. She showed me where things were kept, and let me know what I could touch, and what I could not. Flip Mom said no to TV, but said that she might make an exception that night, and would let me know when I arrived on babysitting night. Although I badly wanted the job, I remember thinking I was working awfully hard for it, what with having to endure all of the unpaid “training” and all.

As I sat there that day, I observed this little family, the mother and her two girls, going about their activities. I can still picture the scene in my mind of those two little girls, impeccably dressed, hair done up, reading story books at the table, as their mother served them sliced apples and celery sticks on a tray. When the youngest begged for a treat, Flip Mom gave them each a miniature piece of candy right out of the freezer, explaining that the Halloween candy was taken out only on special occasions, and even then only one piece at a time. I remember wondering if this woman thought that I might stuff her children full of chocolate while she was gone, and made a mental note to completely stay away from the freezer that night, just in case.

It was a small house, and I could see into almost every room right from the kitchen. I saw learning paraphernalia all over the place, and even spied an old record player (that’s right, 45’s) in the next room surrounded by what the girls told me were classical records scattered all over the floor. There were few “toys” there, and most everything seemed to have a purpose, a learning purpose. To me, way back then, there didn’t seem to me to be anything fun; and I admit feeling sorry for those girls, thinking those poor children must have had a dreadful life. They looked happy enough, but Flip Mom obviously made their lives miserable.

Fast forward a decade or two and I became a mom myself. I busied myself with things like safety, bedtimes and toilet habits. I served apples and celery sticks and I hid Halloween candy in the freezer. I limited TV and littered my home with learning gadgets of all kinds. In fact, classical is still the music of choice during lunchtime here, even though our music now comes from CDs played over a boom-box on the kitchen counter. And though my children are almost grown up, I confess that I still like them neatly dressed and it frankly bothers me when their hair isn’t combed.

As I look around my home and think about my parenting style, I realize that I am not much different from that Flip Mom of many years ago. Thought I never used babysitters, I am pretty sure I would have grilled them the same way that the 70’s mom grilled me. I want only the best for my children, as she did for hers. I make decisions based on what I think is right just like she did. And you can’t tell me I am too rigid or over-protective – I’m a mom and it’s in my job description.

I recently posted on a mom’s group a confession about myself. I admitted that I stink when it comes to planning social activities but that I’m great at planning classes and field trips, or anything involving learning for that matter. Though I enjoy having vino with the girls and chatting on the telephone with old friends, I am much more comfortable planning a writing lesson or talking about school. In fact, I refer to myself as “Geek Mom” , which I just a moment ago realized is the full-blown modern equivalent of Flip Mom, only with a different ‘do’.

I look back to my babysitting years and think, “Wow! What a great mom she was, that Flip Mom.” She knew what was right and she did it, no excuses to me or anyone. And though my public school upbringing and my teenager mind-set couldn’t see it back then, I see it so clearly now. She was great. And her children were extraordinary. And mine are, too. I get it. I am Geek Mom and I am fine with it.

I ended up making three dollars on babysitting night. The money was handed to me in a tiny envelope, wrapped in a little bitty Hallmark gift card, like the kind you attach to a baby shower gift. It had a kitten on top and, inside, was written, “THANKS!” all in caps. Flip Mom had trusted me, like she trusted herself. I didn’t understand her then, but I so understand her right now.

A child is injured on the playground but his parents aren’t there to help. A group of children misbehave in a department store with no parent nearby to notice. No doubt, everyone has experienced one of those uncomfortable moments at least once – when someone else’s kids appear to be need of supervision, but the parents are nowhere in sight.

On the flip side, the term “helicopter parenting” was invented for a reason. The polar opposite of absentee parenting, the helicopter parent hovers so closely that children are scarcely allowed to do anything on their own.

Homeschooling moms and dads have been compared to the helicopter-variety of parents, alleging they watch too closely and overly-monitor everything their children do. Many have accused homeschoolers of being too over-protective and preventing children from developing “normally”, by their standards, that is.

Are homeschooling moms and dads just being good parents or are they really over-the-top?

Everyone knows that one of the great benefits of homeschooling is that parents can pick and choose the experiences that they want for their kids. Whether choosing which books to read, which families to meet at the park, or what field trips and classes to register for, homeschooling parents have the freedom to customize the experience to fit within whatever guidelines and standards they have set for the family. Is this excessive? Not really. Actually, it’s pretty ideal when you think about it.

If given the chance, most parents would probably enjoy the chance to remain involved in their kids’ lives a little longer. Is there anything really wrong with deciding if a child is ready for a PG-rated movie or if a child should really go on that sleep-over at some unknown friend’s house? What about helping to decide whether or not a teen’s choice of boyfriend/girlfriend is a good one? No parent would argue with these choices, yet it is common for parents of public schoolers to accuse homeschooling families of harmful family over-management.

It comes as no coincidence that homeschoolers meet and schedule their play-dates in the mornings before the school buses full of children come out. It isn’t wrong, clique-ish or snobby; it’s just a practical way to minimize contact with children raised differently from their own. It isn’t harmful to watch how children interact on the playground or gently guide a child toward a different type of activity when things aren’t going quite right – it’s just another teachable moment for a child and modeling good behavior from a parent.

As a side note, homeschoolers are huge users of team sports, enrichment courses, and community programs; thus, they don’t entirely shut children off from other people, they merely choose experiences wisely.

When you think about it, what homeschoolers do isn’t any different than parents choosing Montessori schools because they like the kinds of families these schools attract or encouraging their children to join a youth group in order to find other kids with similar attitudes and interests. Every good parent knows what they want for their kids, it’s just that homeschoolers are better able to control situations because they are closer by.

Before anyone judges another parent, homeschooler or not, it is important to remember that most parents are only trying hard to do what they think is best. In the case of homeschooling moms and dads, what is best is keeping an eye on their kids.

[I have written many articles for online and print publications. This article originally appeared here.]