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Saturday, August 30, 2003

(UPDATED at 2 02 a.m. Sunday after several Bass Ales)

Bowden suffers first shutout -- and the grumbling grows

Pathetic. Disgraceful. Simply awful. Pick any aspect of Saturday's game, and it's a safe bet Clemson sucked at it. I'm sure that includes the halftime show, and running down The Hill, too. (In fact, according to the posters on the Tigernet message boards, it does include running down The Hill.)

Some lowlights: Timid, ineffectual, and occasionally stupid play-calling -- "100 percent" of it allegedly the work of coach Tommy Bowden. A nearly absent offensive line. All-star cornerback Justin Miller getting burned -- badly -- on a 56-yard touchdown pass. A missed field goal that looked like it came off the toe of a junior-high kicker wearing corrective shoes. (I can say that because I used to wear corrective shoes.)

Hell, our center even puked on the football at one point, resulting in a fumble.

Hold on a minute. PUKED ON THE FOOTBALL!?!? According to Google, those words have never appeared together in the same sentence in the entire history of the Internet. (However, if you Google "puked on the ball," you stumble across this gem and a story about rugby, where puking on the ball is probably accepted -- encouraged, even. Then again, a Google search for "vomited on the ball" produces a couple of hits, as does "threw up on the ball." All of the links seem to involve Donovan McNabb. What can I say? I haven't followed pro football for several years. I gotta work Sundays.)

All in all, the Tigers hardly looked like a team which had been preparing for this game since spring practice began last March.

All in all, no kidding.

You know that positive stuff I've been posting about Clemson for the past month? I take it all back.

I'm going to soak my sorrows in Bass Ale tonight, and I'll post links to the media blood-letting on Sunday. (Unless I puke on the keyboard. All bets are off if that happens.) Until then, here are some positive-spinning notebook items from the SID's office. Yay.

The Greenville News takes a softer approach, focusing on the pregame excitement felt by Justin Miller and Charlie Whitehurst, as well as a fan's eye view of the impact of the Georgia game.

FOLLOW IT ON THE NET: The official Clemson site will have live coverage of today's game, including constantly updated stats and a direct feed of the Clemson radio network, where announcer Jim Phillips will be calling his 400th game.