Sleep is something I am quite good at but never have enough time to practice.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Tomorrow I am going to pick up my daughter from her grandparents house. She calls them her grandfamily. She has been there since Sunday and it has been nice and quiet here. Isaac has enjoyed having more attention and I have really got a lot of knitting done. (Okay, Lanessa, not completed) The week didn't exactly go as I had imagined, though. The first day and a half I was sick. The next day I spent getting the house cleaned up for company that night and then today was just running errands to get ready for our trip tomorrow. I have The Mermaid Chair to listen to in the car on our 7 hour drive and I am really looking forward to that. So, the week went by too quickly, but I will be glad to have our little family all back together again.

I'm not sure how Lillian feels about it. I think she would stay there all summer if I would let her. She got to go to the pool (the inside one!) and to my aunt's to see them and my grandparents and my aunts ducks and ponies. She didn't take any naps all week and stayed up past her bedtime every night. I plan on bribing her with trips to the pool and our upcoming vacation to see Lanessa and her boys on our way to Florida. Hopefully that is enough.

Friday, May 23, 2008

It has been three days now, with no nursing. What I have noticed most is much more cuddling. Before if Isaac, who is 15 months, was tired or cranky or hungry (of course) he would want to nurse but never cuddle. The last few days have been very nice in that way.

I have also noticed a change in my body over the last month as we have slowly gotten closer to this point. My boobs are back to their non-existent form and my pants are just a tiny bit more snug.

I feel a little sad that this phase of our relationship is over but a bit relived, too, to be honest. I didn't really see this coming. He was always a good nurser and I thought I would have trouble weaning him. I thought he wouldn't want to give it up. He nursed all the time until he was 12 months. I couldn't get him to eat hardly any food up until that point. After that, he would eat but still want to nurse afterward, before and after bedtime and naps and several times throughout the day. I am happy that it turned out this way, though. I am glad it happened gradually, on its own. I have only had to tell him no once or twice and he didn't cry or anything like he usually would, so that makes it easier. I just feel like my baby is growing up too fast.

I don't feel the baby craving yet, though. (Sorry Lanessa!) I thought I might when I got to this point. I thought I might start wanting that little newborn person. Not yet. Maybe, if Isaac will ever learn to walk...

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Friday, May 16, 2008

Have you ever walked into a room full of people and realized that you didn't know anyone? How did you feel? Usually, when I am in that situation I feel small and lonely. This happened to me onWednesday. I was invited to a luncheon for the caregivers of wounded warriors. It was a small group of about 20 women and I arrived late because of another meeting I had that morning. As I walked in, I felt all eyes on me. I felt the normal spotlight that I feel when I am in uncomfortable situations. I felt like everyone was wondering who I was and what I was doing there. Why I thought I belonged in their group. And then, somehow, my thoughts changed. Instead of Oh, no! I don't know anyone! I thought, interesting. I don't know anyone. I realized that no one in that room knew that I was shy and awkward when I am meeting new people. That is is so hard for me to strike up a conversation with new people, or even people that I am acquainted with. So, I decided that I wasn't going to be that person. After we started eating our delicious lunch, I went to say hello to the lady running the meeting and appologize for coming in late. She said that she was just glad I could make it, and instead of thinking she was just being nice, I chose to believe what she said. Then, I sat at my table with two complete stranger who obviously didn't know each other either because there was an uncomfortable silence. So, I started a conversation with them. Everyone soon found out what a small world it is and how closely connected we were. The other two at the table were MySpace friends that had never met or even saw a picture of the other. Then, the speakers started and I put in my questions and comments when I really felt like I wanted to. The last speaker told us all about the life of C.S. Lewis. He had a very difficult life but through it all came back to God. He told us that Jesus died for us and we can all turn to him. But, this was on a military base, so he had to say it in a way that was not offensive. He just told about Lewis's life and how he coped with the heartache and loss he experienced. I was really touched at the gentle way he presented the gospel to these hurting women. So, after the meeting was over, I shook his hand and told him so. As I walked back to my car with my new acquaintances and (awsome) door prizes, I wondered who this person was. This person I became during this meeting where I knew noone. I like her. I am going to have her around more often.

Monday, May 12, 2008

I hope everyone had a great Mother's Day. I did. My husband made me homemade cinnamon and sugar muffins for breakfast and cooked a nice dinner for me after church. We sat on the couch watching movies and then he took the kids to the store for an hour so that I could have some peace and quiet. After they came home I spent some time coloring with Lillian and playing with Isaac. It was one of those days that ends up just like I hoped it would.

Not like the rest of the weekend. We had a date Friday night. All day long my stomach had felt puny, but I thought it was just cramps. We went to a restaurant then a bookstore and about the time we had to pick up the kids it hit me. I was so sick. I ended up in bed and sick all night. My poor husband had to take care of his pukey wife. He is such a great guy when I am sick. Well, I should say he is a great guy when I am getting sick. Anyway, not the way I would have wished our night to end. I was pretty disappointed. I have to wait and get sick on our monthly date night. Nice. Well, I guess there is always next month.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Today was our spa day at Mops. We had a local spa come and do a little pampering for us, absolutely free. Is that kind and generous, or what? Here is how it worked: they offered three different services, 5 minute message, facial, or paraffin wax hand treatment. There was a sign-up sheet to sign up for one service. Then, we could just go down the list and make sure everyone was given a bit of pampering. That is how it should have worked, anyway. Of course the message was booked very quickly followed by the facial. A lady came in just as our meeting was starting and I told her to go ahead and sign up. She said she wanted a message and I told her that was the first thing to fill up but she could sign up for another treatment. So, when the lady was introduced and said that she could start taking people, who do you thing RAN from the back of the room and landed herself right in the message chair? And do you think she was the only (so called) lady to barge in? Nope. This meant that some people did not get the treatment they signed up for and some none at all. I just wonder, how do people have the gall to do things like that? How can someone just put their own desires above a whole room full of people who deserve it as much as anyone and actually got their on time to sign up for something? If I saw my daughter act this way, she would be in a lot of trouble and we would have a long conversation about manners and taking turns and courtesy. I guess when we get to be adults and no longer have mothers to point out ways to be better, we just rely on other peoples manners to not call us out.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

I am half way finished with my afghan. I am planning some pictures soon, but as they are just different 12 inch squares, there is not much to show. I am looking for something to work on next and am thinking of learning to make socks. I really want to learn all different techniques. I really enjoy making different patterns, like lace work and cables. I am now on Ravelry. I am cyndiknits. Come by and check it out.