Don’t shoot the messenger Coverage of Newtown tragedy about grief, not exploitation

Sunday

Dec 30, 2012 at 3:15 AM

I’m sure you’ve heard the adage: “Don’t shoot the messenger.”

That old chestnut took on fresh significance for me several days before Christmas.

My husband, Dan, and I were in the Somersworth Walmart picking up a couple of last-minute items for the holidays. We only had a couple of items, so we went to the express line for those buying 20 items or less.

A woman I guessed to be in her early 30s stood in front of us in the checkout line. She had her daughter with her, a dark-haired girl who looked to be about 8 or 9 years old. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but they were right in front of us. Mother and daughter seemed very close, talking breathlessly about the gifts they had purchased for Christmas. There was a bin of lollipops just in front of the checkout conveyor and the little girl asked her Mom if she could please have one.

“Sure, honey, you can have a pop today.”

“Thanks, Mommy,” the little girl smiled.

Mom moved ahead to the checkout position where there was the usual rack of celebrity gossip magazines. Among them was the latest edition of “People Magazine.” The cover was devoted to the unspeakable tragedy in Newtown, Conn. There were small photographs of each one of the schoolchildren brutally gunned down by a mentally deranged 20-year-old man. Some of the children were just kindergartners. Their teachers and the school principal also died in the hail of gunfire. Some of the adults sacrificed their lives trying to save the children from the madman who had entered the school after he shot his mother to death in their home.

The mother in the checkout line took one look at the “People Magazine” cover and blew up.

She turned to Dan and me because we were the nearest adults within earshot. “How can they do this? How can they?” she cried, her voice breaking with emotion.

“If this was my child who died, I would not want her face on the cover of this magazine,” she continued to rant. “They have no right, no right to do this!”

She continued to decry the use of the children’s pictures on the magazine cover talking about how cruel and exploitive it was.

Several times she looked to Dan and me for a supportive comment. We did not add fuel to the fire about the magazine. Instead, we talked about how horrible the tragedy was and how sad we were for the families of the victims. They would never see their loved ones again and every Christmas would be a horrible reminder of the children they had lost forever.

Thankfully, she and her daughter eventually got through the checkout and were on their way. “Merry Christmas!” we said, as they departed.

Later, Dan and I talked about what had happened.

“I didn’t agree with that woman about the magazine cover,” I said.

“I know, me either,” Dan agreed.

We both acknowledge there are elements within the media who exploit tragedy, but not all media is that way.

We also know that “People Magazine” did not kill those children. Gun violence did. Those precious little photos on the cover may help to spur a national conversation about such massacres that have become all too common in recent years.

But that is not the only reason I disagree with the mom at Wal-Mart. As the managing editor of a small daily newspaper, I have seen a lot of tragic news unfold and been involved in hundreds of conversations about how to present that information to readers. It is always difficult and even heartbreaking to report that kind of news, but we must.

Newspapers are supposed to reflect the communities we serve, even if the news is sometimes tragic.

When something terrible happens in our coverage area, we ask our reporters to write stories about it. If someone has died tragically in an accident or as the victim of a crime, our job is to report that. We also ask reporters to speak to the family and friends of that person to gather details about who they were in life. Those who die tragically should be remembered for more than the circumstances of their death. What kind of person were they? What can we learn from their life and untimely death?

I don’t know what “People Magazine” does, but when we cover stories like that, we always ask reporters to take on the difficult task of talking to family. If the family says “no,” we respect their privacy and leave them alone.

It always surprises me how often families want to talk to us about their loved ones and how generous they can be during their darkest hours.

They understand that newspapers are part of the community and we are spreading the word to all of those readers out there they may not know, but who share their grief and loss.

I am not sure what the mom at Wal-Mart wanted “People Magazine” to put on its cover after the Newtown tragedy. But, I disagree with her take on it. It would be an insult of the highest order for the media to ignore the murder of these precious children.

To her I say, “please don’t shoot the messenger.” Instead, let us grieve together and find solutions to prevent such tragedies from happening again.

Mary Pat Rowland is the managing editor of Foster’s Daily Democrat, and reachable at mprowland@fosters.com.

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