Minister for Sleaze delighted with Laws case

Sir Huw Cockworthy, the New Minister of Sleaze said, this morning: 'I am so pleased that the first incident of sleaze has come so close to the start of the new parliament. It is particularly praisworthy that Laws has brought two elements to the table: misuse of expenses and sexuality.'

'Neither are new in the sleaze cannon, but this double-barrelled approach does nicely parallel the fact that we have a coalition. We are truly looking ahead, moving forward.'

'My only slight concern is that the sexuality issue does seem to fall into the category of "occasional wank". I would have preferred something a little more florid. Still, we have plenty of time...'