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'I called his phone like 100 times. I called his sister,
messaged his girlfriend, called them to [find out] if they knew what was
going on. I don't understand why he would do this.'

Troubled: Friends called him 'wonderful' but said he also struggled with doubt and depression

Saying goodbye: The post on his Facebook, pictured, thanked his family and friends for their support but added: 'I cannot take living any longer. So as of tonight I will end my life'

But as news began to emerge of an accident on the Hughson crossing, their fears were confirmed.

Colvin was hit by a San Joaquin Train from Bakersfield to Sacramento. It was carrying 98 passengers and was delayed for two hours after the crash.

Three people were shaken up and treated at the scene for minor injuries. The conductor was the only witness to the crash, Stanislaus County sheriff's Sgt. Anthony Bejaran said.

'It's horrible for the conductor and horrible for the family, who will always have to remember Christmas Day as a day they lost a family member,' Bejaran said. 'I can't imagine that.'

Colvin had written a series of cryptic
posts leading up to his death, including one earlier on Christmas Eve
which said: 'Tomorrow is Christmas............... :('

Struggle: Colvin had uploaded this image about hiding his pain and wrote the word 'True' beside it

Missed: Friends said they would think of him every Christmas as he took his life on Christmas Eve

When friends asked him about the post, he simply wrote: 'something im (sic) trying to deal with on my own right now', the Bee reported.

In November, Colvin posted a
picture with a quote reading: 'I hide all of my problems behind
my smile. Behind my smile is a world of pain. You think you know me, but
you have no idea.'

Beside the picture he wrote: 'True.'

His former live-in girlfriend, Savanna Callahan, 24, said that he was often overcome with depression.

'I am in shock. But only to an
extent,' she said. 'When me and him broke up, he said he wasn't strong
enough to be my boyfriend. I had hoped he'd gained strength. He was very
sweet. He liked everybody.'

Scene: He drove onto these tracks in Hughson, California and was struck by a train travelling around 75 mph

His Facebook page also shows hundreds of smiling pictures and his plans for trips. While his page is still active, his posts are no longer public.

Colvin, who worked for Dick's Sporting Goods, loved playing basketball, friends said.

Johnson paid tribute to her friend, saying: 'He was just an awesome person; he had the best smile on his face and always knew how to make people laugh. He was just a wonderful person.'

But she has been left with questions surrounding his death, and wishes she could have helped.

'I just don't understand,' she said. 'He said he was trying to deal with something on his own and I wish I knew and could help him. Now every Christmas, all I'll remember is him.'