Support for Family Issues

Breast Cancer

I know those mammography slides look so terrifying to you. Yes without knowing exactly what they mean it is concerning to see. When you don't have any answers yet..... and even IF YOU DO have a bad diagnosis from a doctor.....

Wait! Stop! Hold on a minute! Before you fall to pieces think.... do you know the One Who made your body? Do you know the Creator of you? Why not take this to Him in prayer and ask Him about this situation?

He knows what's happening to you... He cares what's happening to you. And if you allow Him to come into this situation it can become okay. It will be alright with Him in full control. Why not put these reports into His Hands.... yes the full reports.... and yes the doctors words too.

The facts are not necessarily the truth...

I know.... I'm a survivor and I'm still here.... because He said it's not time to go yet.

Lee Jeans..... the blue jeans company supports breast cancer research and they joined Role Models of America by hosting a booth at our Diva Day. All day long we had visitors coming by and donating money to the Lee National Denim Day.

Between personal experiences and family cancer victims every one had a story to share. Men... women... teenage girls... and even several boys stopped by to tell of Aunts and Moms, Grandmas and Sisters who have suffered.

By the end of the day the entire booth was covered with donations and names!

Some of us know first hand how terrifying it is to face surgery and the dreaded news. Supporting other women in their fight is one of the reasons Role Models of America has produced Diva Day! We were proud to send Lee a sizable donation from this booth..... We join with Levi and we pray for a cure!!

After we got back from the Lake House, it was time to start preparing for the next step, meeting with the Oncologist.It has surprised me from the beginning of this journey,that common practice is not to meet with the Oncologist (cancer treatment doctor) until after the mastectomy.I still don’t understand the reasoning behind that.Anyway, I was so fortunate that the University of Texas MD Anderson Cancer Treatment Hospital started opening branches of Treatment Centers outside of the downtown Medical Center, in suburban areas of Houston.The first one to open was in Nassau Bay, about 7 miles from my house!

The day in July that I went for my first appointment was their first week of operation.God’s fingerprints were all over the timing as far as I was concerned!I met with Dr. Amy Hassan, who is a very caring, beautiful young oncologist.She was professional, but very kind and answered all of my questions.She recommended that I receive chemotherapy followed by radiation.She explained that the chances for survival are greatly increased by following this round of treatments.I would have 4 treatments of the first “chemo cocktail” called FAC, with one treatment every three weeks.That would be followed by 4 treatments of another chemo drug called Taxol.I would start treatment the first week of August and should complete my treatment the first week of January.I first had to have a few tests, which were painless, but very terrifying to me.They were a bone scan to make sure that the cancer had not gone to my bones, a heart catscan to make sure that my heart was strong enough to withstand chemo.That was unsettling.How strong did it have to be?The third test was a catscan of the abdominal area to make sure that there was no cancer in the liver, kidneys, or other abdominal areas.

These tests were stretched out over a week, and after about 10 days I went back to Dr Hassan to get the results.God gave me peace, but it was sure good to hear her tell me that all of the tests came back good!She said that I could start chemo the next week.I decided to have my treatments on Fridays, so that I would have the weekend to recover and hopefully be back ready to work on Mondays.So on Friday, August the 3rd, I started the next chapter of The Journey.

My Mom and Dad both drove to town for the first treatment.My Mom told me that she would come to all of the treatments, and that they would both be there to help Wayne care for me if I was sick, and also to help with my kids.That was such a relief and a blessing!I was praying that God would bring me through without being sick, but I had heard such stories about people having such bad nausea and fatigue.I felt in my heart that God would keep me strong.I couldn’t imagine having to be bed ridden for several days, that simply would not do!

I had gone back to my surgeon the week before chemo started to have a “port” installed in my chest, just below my collarbone.It is a little device with a long tube that goes into the central vein about the heart.It is inserted under the skin, so it doesn’t show, but it allows the chemo to be directly injected into the port rather than having to use the veins in the arm or elsewhere.It goes straight into the blood stream, in the large strong central vein.The port process was a simple out-patient procedure.My Dad took me and stayed with me for the procedure, and took me home.I was so blessed to have both of my parents to help me through this.With Wayne and I both being self-employed it was crucial to our family’s financial well-being that Wayne be able to work as normal a schedule as possible and cover for me.

The day that I started chemo Wayne and Dad dropped Mom and me off at the St Johns Hospital MD Anderson Treatment center, five minutes away from my house!We were given a nice room with a bed, a couple of chairs and a TV.I had taken several of my files with me and of course my cell phone so that I could do business while having the 3 hour chemo session.The nurses that administered the chemo were very kind, and explained everything that was going to happen, and answered all of our many questions.The actual infusion was painless.I just rested on the bed, watched TV with Mom, and took calls from my clients for the next few hours.I knew that so many people all over the country were praying for me that day, and I felt their prayers.When we got home that evening I felt fine, but just took it easy, just waiting to see what would happen.My parents had recently me two people that would become very important to Wayne and me over the next months, and will continue to be very important for years to come.Those two people were Bishop Greg Holley and Pastor Gayla Holley.Mom invited Bishop and Pastor Gayla to come to our house about 6:00 pm after I got back from chemo to pray for me.It was love at first sight!I connected with Gayla, and Wayne connected with Bishop immediately.It was like we had been friends all of our lives!They are the Pastors of New Life Christian Fellowship on Underwood in La Porte.They prayed for me, and we all sat around visiting for several hours.I realized that everyone must be getting hungry, and suggested that they all go to dinner.I would wait there, and would be fine.I was not feeling sick yet, and felt like a pot being watched to see when it would start boiling!Bishop suggested that we all go, because I just might not get sick, and we could take two cars so that I could return if that made me more comfortable.We all went to Villa Capri, a very nice Italian seafood restaurant on the evening of my first chemo treatment.Praise God, we had the most wonderful evening! I had salmon and broccoli, a very healthy dinner.I ate it, enjoyed it, and NEVER got sick!We didn’t get home until after 9:00!I went to bed, slept all night, and got up the next morning to attend my 10 year old son Caleb’s first football scrimmage game, on a VERY hot August morning.I went to church on Sunday, and back to the office on Monday.God is so good, he kept me feeling good, and allowed me to continue to do my normal activities!There is much more to the story.I haven’t even got to tell about radiation and reconstructive surgery yet!I will get to that, but for today I just want to leave you with the knowledge that if you are facing the challenges of Chemo, please know that you are not alone.God is with you.Trust Him.He will make a way for you and bring you through.He has brought me through, and I continue to praise Him.

A lump or a thickening in the breast or in the armpit: Some lumps or swelling in the breast tissue may be due to hormonal changes. But if a lump or thickening persists, whether it is in the breast or in the armpit area, it may be a cause for concern. Swelling in the armpit, where the lymph nodes are located, may indicate that the body is fighting an invasion. A lump in the breast tissue may indicate a cyst, or it may indicate a problem in the duct or the lobes. See your doctor or nurse practitioner for a screening. Here is an overview of lumps.

A change in size or shape of the mature breast: If a mature breast changes size or shape, and especially if only one breast is changing, it may signal that milk ducts or the lobes deeper within the breast are swelling. This could be due to fibrocystic or regular monthly hormonal cycles. If the changes are not in step with regular periodical changes, consult a health professional and get an exam. Having a baseline mammogram can help you and your doctor keep track of changes with accuracy.

Fluid (not milk) leaking from the nipple: Between ages 41 - 58, there may be a small bit of non-bloody leakage from the nipples of both breasts. This leakage is usually due to hormonal changes and is not worrisome. However, if the fluid is leaking from only one nipple, is a new discharge, or is bloody, there are several tests that can be done to discover what is causing it. Ask your doctor for a professional opinion on your next steps.

Change in size or shape of the nipple: Changes in body weight, or natural changes that come with age may affect the size or shape of the nipples. However, if a nipple retracts (pulls in) and does not easily return to its normal shape, see your doctor or a nurse practitioner for a manual exam. If there is a problem with the milk ducts which are just below the surface of the nipple and areola, then having a diagnostic mammogram or ultrasound can help diagnose the trouble.

Changes of color, shape or texture of the nipple or the areola: If you observe dimples, puckers, or a rash on the skin of the nipple or the areola, (darker skin that surrounds the nipple) and these symptoms persist, or do not respond well to treatment creams, check with your doctor to determine what action to take. One unusual type of breast cancer is called Paget's disease, and starts out in the form of a rash. When caught and dealt with at an early stage, this is a very curable condition.

Unusual pain in the breast or in the armpit: Know your cyclical pains, and note if breast pain occurs in tune with the monthly period, and in both breasts. While uncomfortable, if it is normal to you, it may not be worrisome. But if you have pain which occurs off-cycle or in only one breast or armpit, get it checked out. Keeping a good record of your cycles will help you understand hormonal changes in your breasts, and also helps your doctor and nurse determine what may be happening in your body.

Everything is Connected: Our bodies go through cycles and changes, some of which are due to age, weight gain or loss, hormones, medications, pregnancy, stress, or changes in diet. Some of us are very aware of living in our bodies, while others of us live more in our minds or in our emotions. In order to have and keep our health, it's good to be aware of our body and its rhythms.

Just as getting a toothache can seem to make your entire head hurt, or pulling a muscle in your leg causes you to limp and throws you off balance, finding a change in your breast affects your overall health and may signal a need to get a checkup or a diagnostic screening.

Knowing your body's normal changes helps you deal wisely with your health. Regular communication with your health care team can allay fears and help you raise your defenses against disease.

The week before my mastectomy, I had visited my friend and hair stylist John Gatti at Razzmatazz in

Clear

Lake

. I had known for several years that he also sold wigs. Mom and I went to see John to ask him to help me match a style and color of wig that was closest to my hair. I intended to start wearing a wig as soon as my hair started to fall out, and wanted to match my current style as close as possible. John helped and we picked out the perfect wig. I was ready in case my hair fell out. God is so amazing.How many of us know someone that specializes in wigs?Not that many of us.God knew that some day I would be in need of a wig, and he had a long-time friend of mine, who is a brother in the Lord expand his hair styling business to include wigs.It is the seemingly small things like this that show me that God is not surprised by anything that happens in our life.It is all a part of his devine plan.These are the “coincidences” that show how much God loves us.He even cares about the seemingly small things like my hair falling out (which actually as about the most traumatic part of this whole journey for most women).God cares and makes a way for every need.

Beginning with the day I came home from the hospital, my dear church family at Hope Church in

Clear

Lake

had sprung into action. For the entire week a different family brought dinner to my house each evening. As a wife and Mom, most women try to do everything themselves, and are accustomed to taking care of everyone in the household.It is very difficult for most of us to ask for help, and when it is offered we usually turn it down.During a time like this I think it is very important for a woman to learn how to say “thank you, that would be a big help for my family”.This was hard at first until I realized that not accepting the help would mean my parents and Wayne would have to work harder, and also that it would be taking away a blessing from the folks at my church.God used them to bless me, and I know it was a blessing to them to be able to help.I know that in the future I will try to step up to the plate more when I am in the position to provide a meal for a family in need. It was such a blessing, not having to cook for the family. My Mom and Dad were there with me for that week as well, so I felt very pampered.

Wayne

was able to take care of our business, and Mom and Dad looked after the kids. I got to rest and read and heal.

My family has gone to our

Lake

House

in

Kimberling City

Missouri

, just outside of Branson for the 4th of July since 2002 when we bought the house. I did not want my surgery to keep us from our very much needed family vacation. With the surgery being on June 25th I saw no reason that we couldn't go to the lake house on the 4th of July. The surgeon and plastic surgeon saw things differently. They wanted me to wait at least 10 days after the surgery so they could remove the drains, and make sure I was OK for travel. I argued with them, but they won. We waited until July 7th to leave but I was so happy that my family would have the much needed time away. Mom and Dad were able to come with us. I took the wig to try out, and it looked great. It was very uncomfortable over my own thick hair, so I decided to save it until it was necessary.

I think it is a very good thing to try to continue your normally scheduled routine as much as possible when one is fighting and recovering from breast cancer. If you act like an invalid you will feel like an invalid. Rest is important immediately after surgery and during treatments, but getting back to normal wasmy goal. We went to shows, we enjoyed playing games, cooking and going to dinner. I just rested a lot and made the kids help my parents and Wayne more than they usually did. It was a very renewing time, and we got a much needed break. Of course we had the laptop and cell phone with us so that we could conduct our real estate business as usual. We had just told our clients and my RE/MAX office that we were going on our usual family vacation to the lake house. They had no idea that I had even had surgery.That was just the way I wanted it.I don’t think it was denial, I just needed to wait until I was ready to tell my story.I wanted to wait until I was completing my treatment, and then surprise all of my colleagues by saying “guess what happened to me for the last six months?”Then they would be amazed by what God had been doing and they didn’t even know anything had been going on.That is exactly what I did, and amazingly, the people that had seen me every day since June never had any idea that anything unusual was going on.That is what I find truly wonderful, God was able to bring me and my family through diagnosis, surgery, chemotherapy and radiation from June 1, 2007 to March 19 2008 without clients, Realtors and others that I saw on a daily basis ever knowing that I was going through cancer treatments.That has to be God!And it shows that cancer does not have to cause a woman to be bedridden and sick for the better part of a year!God can bring you through victorious, healthy, and better than ever.There is a lot more to the story.I haven’t even gotten to the part of the story about chemotherapy.Check back in a few days…….

My name is Carla Wade, and I am a wife to Wayne, Mother to Kris (21), Kari(13) and Caleb(9). I am also a full time Realtor in partnership with my husband running a very active Real Estate business. Most importantly, I am a daughter of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. I have been redeemed by the Blood of the Lamb, Jesus Christ to whom I give all of the glory for the story you are about to read.

It is now March of 2008. This month I celebrated my 49th birthday, my 14th wedding anniversary, my daughter's 13th birthday, and on March 19th completed my final treatment for breast cancer. This journey began almost a year ago. Here is my story.....

I turned 48 in March of 2007. Other than being on blood pressure medication and carrying about an extra 20 pounds, I thought I was in great health. Then on Thursday May the 24th everything changed in an instant. I was in my OB/Gyn doctors office for the annual well women's exam, and in the middle of advising me to start the South Beach diet to lose those 20 pound and telling me that next year he wanted me to start annual colonoscopy’s he calmly told me he noticed a small "thickness" in my left breast in the 2:00 position. My heart seemed to stop and everything since then has been surreal. He said it didn't feel like breast cancer and seemed pretty small but wanted me to have a mammogram and an ultrasound at the Victory Breast Diagnostic Center right away and come back to see him for a follow up.

I called immediately and set the mammogram and ultrasound up for the very next day, Friday May 25th. Dr. Susan Gaskill impressed me immediately. I saw why Dr. Korman spoke so highly of her and her center. She did the mammogram and absolutely NOTHING showed up, so I was feeling pretty calm. Then they did the ultrasound and a small dark shadow about the size of a grape showed up. Again, she said it didn't look or feel like cancer, but again, "just to be on the safe side" she set me up for a core needle biopsy. Since it was the day before Memorial Weekend, they scheduled me for Tues May 28th. I then spent the longest weekend of my life traveling to Killeen with my husband and two youngest children to attend my nephew’s high school graduation. I didn't want to worry my parents, or brother and sister-in-law, and didn't want to take away from the happiness of the occasion so I decided to wait until after we got the results the following week to tell of the worry, after we presumably would get a good report.

I went in on Tuesday and the needle biopsy went well. While waiting for the valium to take effect I picked up a brochure in the waiting room and learned that 80% of all needle biopsy's came out negative. I learned that non-invasive ductile carcinoma was a better cancer to have than invasive lobular carcinoma, made a mental note of that and was glad that I would be in the 80%.

I spent the next few days not knowing that Friday my life would change drastically. Fortunately I had a lot of closings that week to keep me busy, and had two on Friday, June 1. I went to the first knowing that at some point that day I would get the call with the results. I called the Victory Center about 11:00 am after my first closing and asked for Gina, the technician that had told me she would call me with the results. She said that they had gotten the results in, but that Dr. Gaskill would call me to go over them with me. I got an immediate feeling of foreboding. Why couldn't Gina just say "the test came out negative, you are fine"? I seemed to not be able to breath. I knew that when Dr. Gaskill called back it would not be good news. I had a closing at 2:00 and just hoped I could hold together for the day. I also had a 12:30 listing appointment.

At 11:30 Dr. Gaskill called back and as soon as I heard her voice I headed for my bedroom to close the door. Kris, my 20 year old must have seen the look on my face and stopped me and said, "Mom, is everything OK?" I smiled reassuringly and said "sure honey, I just need to take this call". I closed the door and Dr. Gaskill said "well, the results are not what we were hoping for. They came out positive". I gasped, barely able to speak, suddenly very hoarse. "You mean I have cancer?" I sort of squeaked. She said yes. I think I sat down on the bed and started taking breaths to steady myself. She asked if I was OK. I said yes, but that my kids were in the other room and I didn't know how to tell them. She started to very reassuringly tell me that Dr. Korman had done a fantastic job of catching this and that it was early and that I WOULD BE CURED! She told me that she would set me up with a surgeon for the first available appointment and would call Dr. Korman's office immediately. She kept telling me about early detection, and that it hadn't even shown up on the mammogram, and the outlook was great.

I went to the dining room where Wayne was working on the laptop, and pinched his arm as I passed from behind him. I whispered without looking at him "meet me in our bedroom RIGHT NOW". He didn't ask questions and immediately got up and followed me. We closed the door behind us and I looked at him as cried "I have breast cancer" as I fell into his arms crying softly. I think he cried too as he held me in his arms. Then suddenly I stopped crying, and said "we have to tell the children NOW".

We called Kris in the room, since he obviously knew something bad was happening. I looked into his sweet, concerned face and told him what no Mother ever wants to tell her children. I explained the events of the last week with him, the diagnosis and stressed that "I am not going to die". He broke down in my arms, all six foot three inches of him. Wayne and I comforted him and told him again that it was in the early stages and that I will be treated and cured. I told him to get Kari and Caleb to the living room so we could have a family meeting. He did, and Kari said "is this a bad meeting?" I told her it is a serious one. With Kari tucked under my arm, and Caleb standing in front of me, and Kari's best friend Madison on the couch beside her I made the hardest speech of my life, causing my precious 12 year old daughter to dissolve in tears in my arms, and my happy-go-lucky little nine year old son to also start crying. I grabbed his hands and said "Caleb and Kari, listen to me. I will have surgery, and will probably have a treatment called Chemo-therapy that may cause my hair to fall out, but it will grow back and I will be fine! I am not going to die!" We sat a few minutes longer and they asked a few questions that I don't remember. Madison was crying, too. I hugged each of them and said I would need them to be strong for me and to help me, especially when I had surgery and my treatments but we would stick together as a family and it would be OK.

When I stood up from that couch, I suddenly was filled with such a peace, the peace that has been called "the peace that passeth understanding”. I now know what that means. I realized, and told the children and Wayne that "this will be used for God's Glory". We don't understand it, but it is for a reason and God will be glorified through this. Through the days that followed, I continued to have such a peace. I have slept like a baby since the diagnosis, and have not had the nagging anxiety that I would expect one to have at a time as this.

I had an MRI on Monday June 4th, which showed that the tumor was larger than originally thought; about 7 centimeters and Dr. Gaskill told me she recommended a mastectomy. I was surprised that the news didn't devastate me. I saw the surgeon on Tues June 5th. We liked him, and got a lot of information. He advised me to get a needle biopsy on the other breast since it is very fibrous, and to check for atypical cells. I had that done on Wed, June the 5th.

On June 7th I got the wonderful news that the needle biopsy on my right breast showed no abnormal cells! The surgeon had asked if I had wanted to plan to have a double mastectomy to reduce the worry of having the cancer recur in the other breast, but Wayne and I decided that since the right breast was healthy at this time we would give God a chance to work, and keep that one healthy. I didn't feel right about removing healthy tissue.

I decided not to tell anyone in the Real Estate community, including my clients about my diagnosis. My family and the church that I was attending at the time were so supportive to me. My Mom and Dad were wonderful, and so were my brother and sister-in-law, and the rest of my family. I just hated that I was worrying all of them so. I knew how much they were all hurting for me. I really think they were all more worried than I was. I knew that the mastectomy was just the beginning, and that I was in for a long road with chemo, radiation, and re-constructive surgery but I was just enjoying such a peace from God. I prayed that God would give my loved ones the same peace. My decision not to share my condition with other Realtors was in large part because I was worried that people would not want to have a Realtor that was going through what I was about to go through. I was concerned about my business and just didn't want this "inconvenience" to affect our Real Estate business. I didn't want the news to be spread around.

I spent the next couple of weeks choosing a plastic surgeon. I wanted one that would do immediate reconstructive surgery. I researched the options - a "tran flap" which used fat from the stomach, as well as a vein from the abdominal area for the blood supply to rebuild the breast. This apparently would give the best cosmetic result, but was the most invasive surgery with the longest recovery time, and also the riskiest. If it didn't "take" the whole new breast would literally die, and another surgery would be necessary. I decided instead to get a "tissue expander" which the plastic surgeon would insert at the time of the mastectomy. It is basically a round hard backing, with a sort of bag attached that is placed under the chest muscle. Several weeks after the surgery, the plastic surgeon injects saline solution into the bag once a week to stretch the skin and tissue in preparation for a final implant. This would take several months. Since I wanted to get back to work and a normal routine as soon as possible, I chose this route.

My surgery was scheduled for Monday June 25th. I spent the week before the surgery trying to plan for the "practical" aspects of what I needed to do. I bought a silicon insert to use until I had the saline injections. I bought button up blouses to wear to work since I had heard that I would have limited mobility with my arm for a while due to lymph node removal. I went through the motions to do what needed to be done, and was amazed that I was able to function so well.

Some dear friends and neighbors let Kari and Caleb spend the night with them the night before the surgery and got them off to school on Monday for me so we could get to the hospital early for the surgery. It was such a comfort to have surgery at St. Johns Catholic Hospital, and hear a prayer over the intercom as I was in the prep room. I felt surrounded by so much love. I felt the prayers of each of my dear ones, as well as others throughout the country that my family had contacted. My biggest fear was of having a reaction to the anesthesia and dying on the operating table and not being there for my children. I don't think I shared that fear with anyone but God. I wanted so much to be there for my children, and didn't want them to be cheated out of having a Mother. They need me in their lives, and my heart ached for what they were going through because of this cancer. I prayed for God to bring me through the surgery and to help me to be strong for them. I came through the surgery just fine. In fact I was sent home the next day which was Tuesday, and attended a closing on Friday! I had such a small amount of pain, it was amazing. The surgeon told my family that he got the entire tumor, and they took 18 lymph nodes. We got the report back the next week that there were microscopic cancer cells in 7 of the 18 lymph nodes so I would require chemotherapy and radiation. While I had hoped it would not be in the lymph nodes, I knew that God was in control of my life, and that whatever the future holds that he would be leading me each step of the way. I just had to walk through it God would use it all for his glory.