Naturally, you ­cannot possibly know me, but I think I know you pretty well. I think I remember you, quite accurately, as you were. You were so positive, smiling and confident and everybody seemed to like you. You could be sad sometimes but never angry. How did you do it? Will you come back and show me, how to have such belief in human nature and how to avoid becoming the grumbling old woman that I am turning into.

Another thing – how not to be scared of everything. You used to jump into your car, driving to places that you had never heard of at the other end of the world, without a care. If I have to go somewhere new, even if it is only a half-hour drive, I worry about getting there, finding parking, the time the journey will take.

You used to give dinner parties to people who were famous and ­influential, sometimes 12 at the table, and didn't bat an eyelid. Now, if I have more than two people coming for a meal, I imagine the worst disaster – that nothing will be ready or the food will burn to cinders and probably the house will burn down too. I know it's irrational, but I can't help it.

You used to care for your ­children with such ease. You naturally ­worried for them when they were late, but didn't think every second that a ­catastrophe was just around the ­corner. I look after my grandson twice a week and am so scared that something will happen to him on my watch. I'd ­literally like to wrap him in cotton wool. I know it is unhealthy, so I don't, but I can't sleep. My, how well you slept all the time, the healthy good sleep of a person who uses a lot of ­energy and needs to store up more for the coming day.

What I really need you to show me is how not to get hurt so much. Yes, you could be terribly upset if something went wrong, if they rejected you for a job, but it never lasted longer than a day. After 24 hours, you shook ­yourself and went on cheerfully as before. ­Presently, I find it difficult to shake off any upset.

Why does it hurt so much not being appreciated? Never to be told that the care and patience given to a grandchild has value. Always the assumption that the life of the older generation is empty and we should be glad to be given tasks to fill it.

Finally, please calm me with a ­whisper or a song in my ear when I get incensed about people shouting on their mobile phones on the train, putting their feet on the seat in the cinema, eating crunchy sweets in the theatre, not offering their seats to ­people who need it on the tube. Surely, they didn't used to do these things in your time!

So, you can see why I need you to come back and give me a bit of life-coaching.