Fellow citizens: I have a big favor to ask. If you should see me riding my bike and happen to recognize me, please, please, for the love of all that is holy, please don't honk your horn as a way of saying, "Hi, Buzz." This happens almost every time I go for a ride and it scares the bejeebus out of me. Despite the accident, I'm still not wearing a helmet because helmets are lame and make you look like a dingus. (EDITOR'S NOTE: We're just going to go ahead here and disagree about that.) So it is very important that I not be startled unduly on my bike rides.

I still want you to say hello, so here's another option:

Yesterday, I was riding and somebody who recognized me rolled their window down and yelled "Hey, Buzz!" For whatever reason, this did not scare the crap out of me. The horn, on the other hand, takes a few months off the end of my life every time it happens.

So, please, feel free to wave and shout greetings and encouragement. Heck, unless I'm running late for something, nine times out of ten I'll stop and chat if you want to pull over.

I don't want to point any fingers here but, again, please don't honk when you see me riding my bike ... JONI FROM ACCOUNTING! Doggone it. It slipped out.