Saturday, July 12, 2008

In an amazing discovery, if you plot the size gains and reductions of Oprah Winfrey’s weight there is a direct correlation to many other things.

Here you can see the ups and downs of Oprah’s weight over the years. After correlating these statistics on a chart and then overlaying that with the Teton mountain range, it turns out to be an exact fit!

While science doesn’t have an exact explanation on what this means, there are those that speculate there are other similarities that aren’t coincidence either:

Pork Futures – It would appear that pork future prices follow the exact same chart progressions!

Rolling Stones Popularity – Yes, releases of Rolling Stones albums plotted over a number of years…the very same chart!

Noted one scientist “The fact that it works with a person is rare. Normally we see the ballooning of an individual over time ala ‘the Elvis effect’ but less often do we see somebody bloat and deflate at such a rhythmic pace.”

There is a current study being done at taxpayer expense that is looking to correlate tides to Oprah dress sizes. “We don’t know what it will mean, but we’ll have some really cool graphs on it I’m sure” comments one recent grad student scientist.

VE investigators tried to reach Oprah for comment but her staff simply told us to write a book and submit it to “Oprah’s Book Club”. Indeed, don’t look for it any time soon as VE’s investigators tend to not be very literate…

formerly fun - Welcome. Ha ha. I read your post. Yeah, there was a combination of a number of things here that even got me wondering. First, a lot of people being afraid of Oprah. Then, having the author of a song I mentioned in my post from the day before comment on it. Who would have thought I'd actually have somebody with a number one hit back in the 70s read my blog! Yikes.

annie ha - I see dead people. No wait, that doesn't work. I see nonsensical stuff...

alex - Ha! Yes, the symbology is everywhere. Why that alone would prove that Peter, Paul and Mary are immortal because they were all there at the last supper! And now they sing folk songs. See what happens when you have a thousand years or so to live?

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Back in the day when people blogged, I kept track of everyone that bothered to comment. Of course, nobody blogs anymore (okay, the couple of you that still do, you're like the "Road Warrior") so I have removed the blog roll sections.