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December 30, 2015

I've been there. I'm still there. Nighttime comes,and you are so worn out. The day had seemed never ending and all you want is for your little one to close their eyes so you can too. But they won't. You've tried feeding,rocking,singing,and wearing. You've left them to play and wear themselves out. You've tried making it quiet and still. Nothing works. They are still up and very much awake. I want you to know your not alone.

I too want to pull my hair out and run screaming into the bathroom at about 1 am. Don't feel bad. With my first,precious Monkey, I was a working mom and I remember how much I dreaded night times because of his fighting sleep. I wished them away,I wanted them over. Now looking back, I want them back. I want those nights where he wanted to hold my hand to sleep,wanted to snuggle. I wished them away without realizing how precious and fleeting they were.

Buggy,is getting to where he too is a fight sleeper. Why? I have no idea- I even took two different apparoaches to sleep with the boys. I was getting irritated. Frustrated even. But I reminded myself how quickly they will pass,and how one day he will be a little boy and then a man.

So to you,my sleep deprived team mate, hang in there! Try to find a way to enjoy the long nights. Remind yourself that these moments are so precious and will pass to quickly.

November 25, 2015

Who am I? What do I like to do in my free time? Have I somehow lost myself?

I think a lot of mother's start having these same questions, especially as the kids needs becoming more demanding. As a women, we begin worry about our husbands needs, our children's needs, the housework that needs done, or the groceries that need to be bought.

November 18, 2015

Here we are at the end of November of 2015. I can't believe how fast the time has already flown by. It seems like just yesterday I was planning my high school graduation and here I am now. Married. Two Kids.

I had a friend say to me; "If I could go back I would do things so differently, but who wouldn't?" This got me thinking.

Would I change having my first child at 20? My second at 24? Getting married at 23? Would I change all the heartbreaks that happened? Would I change the decision I made to not go away for college? Would I change it all if I could?

The honest answer... No. I wouldn't change a single thing. It took me a while to think about this, and I actually prayed over it. Why was something like this important to me? I think it's because at times it is so hard to see God's plan in our life. We are so caught up in the "we want it now" idea, that we can't be patient enough to see the big picture. God's picture.

There were many times I prayed to God after a teenage breakup, and begged him to find a way for me and my ex to get back together. Little did I know that the reason why I didn't get a "yes" to that prayer was because he had a much better man for me. Someone who would literally make me laugh till my side hurts, someone who just by hugging me can turn my day around. Someone that would love me as much as I loved them.

I wouldn't change having my kids or getting married at a young age. I love that I am able bodied enough to see them grow. I love that when they get out of the house and go to college that I'll still be young enough to go do things again. I love the age I had them, and I guess to some it seems young. But I think it was just perfect.

You see when we are in the moment, we only think about ourselves. However, we aren't in control. The Lord is. When we decide to accept this and to let the Lord take control of our lives we start seeing how it is all apart of his plan. Had anything in my life been different I wouldn't be here today. I wouldn't be the person I am. I wouldn't have the beautiful children that I have. Could I possibly have been single, learning to make a million dollars a year and traveling the world right now? Sure. But that wasn't the life God had planned for me and I'm great with that.

I left college because I couldn't decide what I wanted to study. It wasn't because I was not smart, on the contrary I had excellent scores. But nothing ever seemed right. It's because God called me to be a mother. A mother to boys. To raise them as gentlemen. To be God fearing. He gave me the most perfect job!

So in times of doubt, always remember that God loves you and is in complete control.

Jeremiah 29:11-13

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

November 11, 2015

Thanksgiving.

Many people pass by this word as if it is nothing. Sure they remember that they have to go to Grandma’s house for lunch, but other then that it is nothing to them. Many people switch straight to Christmas. While, in my mind that is excellent to do if you are also remembering that Christmas is for the birth of Jesus Christ, not spending a billion dollars on Christmas gifts. That however is a topic for another day.

However, as such a high paced society we forget that there is an entire MONTH dedicated to one word: Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, many have forgotten to be thankful and go straight into, “I want this. I need that. More more more” attitude. Even the bible stresses the importance of being thankful in my favorite verse:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God , which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Jesus Christ.

-Phillippians 4:6-7

Stores too quickly get rid of their Thanksgiving stuff, replacing it with Christmas. As a matter of fact, I went to the grocery store Monday looking for some window clings for Thanksgiving. I was quickly met with, “I’m sorry Ma’am, but those were on clearance last week and we have no more.” It’s not even Thanksgiving yet and the “Thanksgiving Items” are already on sale? How is this possible? We complain of life becoming to fast these days, of children not getting to be children and wonder why. This is exactly why! We are rushed we jump straight from Halloween to Christmas with no time to slow down, which is exactly what Thanksgiving is all about. Thanksgiving should be about family, and getting together with them and not just for the sales.

That’s another reason why Thanksgiving has gotten pushed to the side. It has become a shopping holiday. Growing up, we all knew of Black Friday and that was great. But what really irritates me now is how “Black Friday” deals have started happening on Thanksgiving Night. That is ridiculous in my opinion. I love a good deal don’t get me wrong. I often shop at thrift stores and will go out of my way to save money. But this is wrong to me. Instead of being able to enjoy the night of thanks- many people leave early to get in on the deals or to go wait in line. It kills the spirit. I even enjoyed Black Friday, because we would have to get up so early but even then it was a family (mostly women) event. However the “deals” are starting to cut into memories. One day you will look back on and wonder why didn’t I stay longer with Great Grandma and Grandpa and listen to their stories, only to realize that you left early that day to get a big screen TV on sale. I just wish that life would slow down again, and that people remember what November is about before jumping straight to a different holiday.

If you are one of my followers and you already have your Christmas tree and decorations up-kudos for you. I’m not saying that you can’t put those things up and get excited, I’m just trying to remind you that this is a month of Thanks, and as such should be held in high regard too. Keep your red and green decorations up, play your Jingle bells loud but please remember to stop and remember the things that make you thankful.

November 9, 2015

Hello all!

So at first I hesitate to write anything about marriage, because honestly... I've only been married for a little over a year. However, I thought I needed to dedicate a day to my marriage, because surely there are others that are newly married going through the same situations.

Today will be quick, because I didn't prepare an outstanding post. This is simply to show you to be looking in your inboxes, or checking back on Mondays for this new thing here!

November 6, 2015

"Now, you need to stay off your knee for a few days for it to rest." That was the last sentence the doctor said to me as I left his office on Tuesday.

Has this happened? Nope. Well maybe. But not like he would have wanted. I'm a mom-a stay at home mom to two wonderful, energetic boys. I still have to get up, get my oldest ready for school, take him and sign him into school (complete with baby on my hip), clean house and cook dinner. (I originally typed "supper" but my husband tells me that's extremely southern haha).

Now B does help when he gets home, but it's just me for basically 10 hours a day while he works. I am so thankful he does what he does do when he's home though. He helps out, even though he is exhausted from work.

I think doctors should write a prescription for a maid service when they want mothers to rest. Honestly! If I'm at home all I can see is what needs to be done.

So has my knee got any better? Not much,but the swelling seems to be going down some. Hopefully after some time it will get better, and I won't need any more surgeries or doctor visits. As of right now the doc wants me to get an MRI because he thinks it may be a tear in the ACL. So if you all could pray for me that would be great. Thank you so much!

Oh, and how do you like the new look here? I'm still looking for someone to do a logo, but it's coming along.

November 2, 2015

Dear Time Change,

Once I upon a time,I liked you. Possibly even loved you. The night of the change giving me one extra hour of sleep, or when I would go out an extra hour before I went home.

But alas, I've gotten older and had a couple of kids. Frankly, you are not my friend and I'm pretty sure you've started to hate me. My youngest child is trying to wake up at 5 a.m. When we had a very nice relationship with 6:30 am. My oldest doesn't understand why play time outside is cut short because "the sun goes to bed early now".

If you could,please start liking me again and stop causing so much problems.

October 29, 2015

When it rains,it pours. How many of us have heard this? I know it's been true for us this past month. It seemed if anything could go wrong it did-financial expenses,sickness, and even temperaments have all been less then beautiful this month. But,with the start of November things will get better.

This month has reminded me to turn any grievances into gratitude. Through this time I've remember to be thankful for my blessings. It's not always easy to do. Satan loves to put doubt in a believers mind,and what better way then to cause stress.

But through it all I'm proud to say prayer has gotten me through. Every night before I say anything else ; I thank The Lord for my gifts he gave me.

My salvation

My beautiful children

My husband

The house that keeps us out of the weather

Food in the pantry

My supportive family

No matter what hardships we go through,there is someone in a more worse state and that is the reason I give thanks. I'm writing this post mainly because I felt someone needed to hear this. I feel like this will reach someone who needed to be reminded that God is with us,and he gives us blessings. He never leaves us,and there is no reason to be anxious.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

October 26, 2015

I think that all socks for little humans should come up to their knees. I know I can't be the only one who struggles with keeping them on Buggy's feet. Everywhere we go he kicks them off, if he has shoes on-he gets the shoes off first and then BAM socks are gone too.

This usually isn't a problem,just annoying. Last Friday, the clouds had gathered and we were seeing rain for the first time in a long time.

I already knew it was going to be a long morning,because for Monkey's preschool we have to get out and go in to sign him in or out, no drop off lane for him. Loading them up wasn't to bad, and it wasn't raining to bad at the time.

In our seven minutes to get from our home to his school-the skies had opened and it was pouring down. I went ahead and had Monkey put on his back pack and coat ready to get out. I jump out and unlock Buggy and get him out, run to the other and help Monkey jump over the mud puddle. Then we run to the entry way,hit the button,wait for what seems forever for the door to unlock and go in.

I want to stop for a minute,because I know you are thinking about an umbrella. Honestly I just get even more wet when dealing with one instead of just using my coat especially since I've had two kids.

Anyways, I get Monkey settled in at school and start getting ready to run back to my uncovered car as now the rain was falling harder. I buckle Buggy in the car as I'm hunched over and every small rain drop gets colder. I look at his feet and notice one of them is bare. His cute little toes wiggling at me. I have two options: abandon the sock and mourn it later or try to find it. I decides to abandon but as I look back there it is-the small white cotton sticking up from the dirty puddle up by the entry door. I run quick to grab it, and jump back in the drivers seat. I was drenched! I seriously looked like I had just taken a shower-all over a sock that I could buy more of at Walmart easily. But when I saw it there-I couldn't leave it. Why? I have no idea!

October 20, 2015

October is my favorite month. I've always loved it, and honestly not sure why we didn't get married in October haha. We couldn't wait I reckon. I love the weather, the festivities, and of course all the pumpkin flavored things.

This past weekend we took the boys to the pumpkin patch. It was a lot of fun. Tey had corn mazes, hay rides, panning for fools gold and even a cute animal show. We had a lot of fun-until we left.

[caption id="attachment_139" align="aligncenter" width="224"] All smiles before we think the sickness week begins![/caption]

We went to Cracker Barrell to eat, and while we were eating we noticed Bugs arm was red and broke out. I immediatly called the dr office,who honestly wasn't much help but that's because I couldn't describe what had happened. So two phone calls and a dr trip Monday morning we finally found out it's an allergic reaction-hives. Good news is that a little Benedryl and he's going to be okay.

Now lets switch over to Monkey. He went to school on Monday and when I picked him up claimed he didn't feel great. I assumed he was probably just tired. After we painted pumpkins, he comes to hug me and I realize how he is burning up. So I do the mom thing,grab the medicine and get him in bed. I check on him every two hours (B switched with me every other time to make sure I did get some sleep) and he's doing a little better this morning.

Needless to say this week has not been ideal, but that's okay. These are the weeks that make a mother a momma and a father a daddy. With October comes all these great things, but I do not like the winter weather and sickness that comes with it. So keep me and my kiddos in your thoughts as we get through this and for a quick recovery.

October 6, 2015

Anyone else know what it's like to not be able to get a "date night"? When you have children, other obligations, work and who knows what else sometimes it's hard to find alone time. Here are five cheap date night you can have while the kids are in bed!

Movie Night: rent a redbox, pop some popcorn and make a floor pallete! Cuddling on a palate with your spouse will make it special because it's not just the same thing you do every night.

Star Gazing: maybe it's just a southern thing but we love to look at the stars! Grab the baby monitor, the blankets and drop that truck tailgate. Extra points for bringing cocoa and snuggling with your hunnie.

Spa night: Men sometimes don't admit it but they like to get pampered too. A spa night could include bubble baths,massages, or facials. Add some incense, dim the lights and you can turn your bedroom into a spa in no time.

Scavenger hunt: Now you may be thinking I've lost my mind with this one but do you remember how much fun you would have with a scavenger hunt when you were a teen? Hide something inside or outside and have your spouse look for it. Be creative with this, it could even start that morning and end later. Totally up to you.

Miniature Golf: Red solo cups make great "holes". If you have kids you probably already have a kiddy set of clubs (I know I did). You can set them up in different parts of the house or build as you go.

Use your imagination, but don't let yourself use kids or money as an excuse to find some alone time with your spouse. Remember the best thing you can do for your children is to show them how much you love their mom/dad.

September 22, 2015

Raise your hand real high if you love cleaning! Oh really? No one? Okay well maybe there is one or two of you out there, but we all know you are rare. (And we all secretly wish we were like you.)

Okay, now how many of you like cleaning with kids? Or do you feel more like this:

I know how it is! I'm not a clean freak and when you have kids (and a husband) you get to wondering why you even try.

But I have advice for my hate cleaning friends: a cleaning schedule. I know it sounds strange, but it has helped tremendous amounts in my home. It makes it possible to do smaller amounts of cleaning, while your house always looks "tidy."

Here is what I do:

Mondays: The start of the week and the dirtiest day. I always start with The Kitchen. It's where I've prepared meals, where kids have gotten snacks, and my husband has made tea (he's the better tea maker). So it's a good idea to start there for me. Cleaning cabinets and floors, anything in the kitchen gets clean.

Tuesday: Bathrooms. I have two in the house, one being strictly my sons.

Wednesday: Living Room

Thursday: Bedrooms

Friday: Floors. I always sweep/vaccum the floors in the rooms I'm working on that day, but this where I focus on those floors. I scrub and mop and make them shine.

Daily Chores:

Dishes: put up/wash

1 or 2 loads of laundry

Pickup 3x/day for 15 minutes

I hope this will inspire you to create your own schedule, and maybe make cleaning not so much of a burden. Let me know some of your cleaning schedules.

September 20, 2015

Boys are gross. They really are! I once stopped Monkey from peeing in the back of his toy dump truck,which was in te middle of his bedroom let me add. Either way, yes they roughhouse and want to fart on your face or pick their noses. I don't know why. But it's true. I won't tell some lie about "oh no they aren't that bad". So far in the four and a half years and a total of three (four if you count my husband) boys running around my house, I have survived! Being the only female and I have survived! The boys have survived and so far no broken bones or long term scars. I don't think.

On a serious note, I wouldn't change it for anything, because there are so many positives that I think are normally ignored. So here are just a few of the reasons I love having boys! I worked hard to narrow this list down.

Boys can be the sweetest creatures on earth: Seriously, you don't know sweet until a little boy has picked you a flower. Maybe it's because little boys aren't expected to pick flowers or give you loves. But they do and when it happens-it'll knock your socks off.

Never have to buy a dress: God bless my parents. They had to purchase three prom dresses, several sorority dresses, and my wedding dress. All of these dresses were probably wore one time and put into a closet and not seen again. With boys it's simple rent a tux for about $80 and off we go!

Shopping for boys is easy: I don't care the season, the time period it doesn't matter. Nine times out of ten boys will wear jeans/shorts and shirts. The prints may change but it's still the same. There aren't dresses,tights,bows,shorts, what's in what's not in. Most of the time it is not that complicated with boys.

I will always have help: Let'a be honest, there are times a man is needed. Such as killing a bug,opening a jar or bringing in the groceries among other things. With my odds I will always have somebody I can call- to come kill those spiders that creep up outta nowhere.

Always fun: tThere will always be laughter in a house with boys! They are wild, rough, silly, and beautiful little creatures. They love their mommas and can do anything they set their minds too! I have laughed more since I've had children then I have ever thought possible.

Children are blessings and we as parents always need to remember this. It isn't always easy but it's always worth it!!

September 15, 2015

A few weeks ago I had a wonderful photo session done with a good friend of mine. Her link is under my picture that she took!!! Either way, I was so excited to see the pictures, and when they started being shown to me I was upset.

Not because Sara had done a bad job but because of my body. I didn't like the way I looked at them, instead of seeing the beauty all I could see was flaws. How many of us mommies dislike our "after kid" bodies? All we see are the problems, and not the miracle that are our bodies. So here I am examining my own!

The first thing I noticed was my upper arms. The women in my family always have thick arms but more then that- my arms lift my 25 pound baby and 40 pound little boy, numerous times a day. They support my boys when they are too tired to walk, or when they have fallen down. My arms are the ones they run too when they need love, or a hand to hold.

My tummy isn't flat. It's carried two large babies that were born by cesarean section. This was my child's home, this is where they were created. This is where tey learned the sound of my heartbeat and voice. It was inside me that they learned they were very loved.

My legs help me run after them , and help me play. They keep me standing so I can cook and put foods in their bellys. My thick legs help me lift them, knowing my back couldn't lift them alone.

My smile isn't perfect, but perfection wasn't what my son was looking for on his first day of school. Itwas my smile letting him know it would all be okay, and that I would be back to get him. It's my face and smile that he wants to see when he's scared at night in his room.

Every bit of our "mom" bodies tells a story of the lives we've brought into this world. The next time you find a "flaw", think of what it's story might be. I would love to hear them!

September 9, 2015

We have survived the first few weeks of Pre-School. So far, monkey has had one accident report, one "fight", and got "fired" from his job. Boys, right?

The accident report was simply a small mark above his eye where a car him and other boys were playing with, jumped up and caught him. The next day, the mark was completely gone.

His first "fight", was very humerous. I went to the school to pick him up, and had Ryker in his baby carrier. A little boy, said "That baby looks like a puppy." Which I guess in a four-year-old's mind, was very mean to say? So Monkey quickly standing up for his brother, says "You don't say that about my bubba!" The kid pushes Monkey, Monkey starts throwing fist(what can I say, he is his momma's child), and the kid gets a quick shot finger into Monkey's eye and it was over. The teacher handled it great, making sure they both got into trouble. Although a small part of me was happy to see that my child defended himself, I reminded him of how we try to keep our hands to ourself.

He was "fired" last Friday, when he wouldn't stop goofing off (he thinks he is the class clown). He wouldn't listen, so he was told he couldn't do his job for the day, which involves picking up the toys outside after recess. So on Monday, he worked really hard to get his job back and did!

He's coming home everyday, telling me all the things he is learning! We have survived, I was so worried and now I'm not sure why I was so worried. Besides being a goofball, he is smart and kind. His teachers enjoy seeing him, and compliment me on him everyday. It's times like this that make me a proud momma!

September 7, 2015

I know, I know... My blogging skills or lack there of have been awful as of late! It's busy being full time mom and wife! I promise I'm going to try to be more constant. However while browsing google I found this beautiful image, and thought it fit perfectly for marriage Mondays.

Sometimes we all need a good reminder of what we promised on our wedding day, and what God expects of us through our marriage!

August 3, 2015

Hope everyone had a great weekend! I know I did, full of family and fun. I can't believe it's already the week of y anniversary, honestly it seems like no time has passed-and yet I can't remember life without my husband.

It was this time last year I only had a few days left till I became a Mrs. And the decision to become one hadn't be lightly. I see so many get divorced these days like its nothing, and it breaks my heart. I wanted the marriage where you are together for years, and the only reason you separate is death (not that I want that to happen anytime soon good gravy no! We are too young). But I wanted the lasting love, so when we got married I immediatly got books on christian marriages.

Not because our marriage was in trouble, but because I want to keep it from being that way. One of the best books I've read with marriages is called, "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. It helps you understand why you and your husband may not be on the same wavelength all the time.

For example; my love language is Words of Affirmation. No surprise there, I love to talk or were and I love to hear I'm loved,appreciated, or someone is proud of me. I have to hear it to make it true. That's just who I am, B however is not. He is more of a physical touch and gift giver. When we are in town,or at home he wants to hold my hand, rub my back and shoulders , or just put his arm around me. That's part of how he shows his love. His other way is gifts. He might bring me home a Dr. pepper, or my favorite candy bar. His other way to show he thought of me.

I'm glad I found this out early in marriage because it has helped us both be able to show our love in a way out partner needs. So yes I read marriage help books to keep our marriage strong and I think it's great.

I really recommend buying this book as a wedding present along with a Bible and the "Love Dare" (another great book but that's for a different day.).

August 1, 2015

As apart of my "post more" goal I've decided in addition to marriage Monday , to also have a Spirit Saturday. This is part of my goal to get closer to God too so with that said, I have zero training I'm just speaking (or typing) from the heart.

"Be still,and know that I am God;" psalm 46:10

How many times have you heard this verse? It's a very common one, one I've heard all my life. How many times have you actually thought about what this verse is saying.

In a world where we expect answers now, and instant satisfaction- we don't like to wait. Don't get me wrong, it's not one of my favorite things either. We get so worked up and try to do our own thug without truthfully consulting with The Lord.

He wants to know our issues, not just the big stuff. He wants us to pray about the small stuff too; the paycheck that may not stretch, the sickness you feel in the back of your throat, or the fear of the new school year starting. He wants to have a relationship with us, but with that being said he doesn't always answer immediatly(or the way we want).

"Be still"

He is simply saying, chill out. Stop worrying. Do what you can but don't start giving into sinful nature to make it happen. Believe in him and have faith, the answer may be a whisper.

"And know that I am God;"

Or as my mother would say, " I got this." A simple phrase that has always eased me. I knew when that was said, no matter the problem, she was going to fix it. It didn't matter what it was. That is what God is saying. By knowing that he is, and having faith, he can achieve anything. He is the creator of mountains and lakes, do you think he is incapable of helping you solve your troubles? Because you shouldn't. Many times in the bible, it states you just have to believe and sometimes that sounds hard. But just as I have belief in my mother, I have even more faith in God. For he can achieve anything.

So when you get frustrated next time, and you feel like you can't so it- just remember this verse and say a prayer.

What is your go to verse when you need a reminder that The Lord has your back ?

July 29, 2015

Monkey has been needing new shoes for his upcoming first school year. There are a lot of back to school deals and if you know me- I'm all about coupons and clearance so I knew we needed to go soon.

Being his adorable four year old self, he had been watching TV and a sketchers commercial came on. You know the one where the kids are jumping on the roof and stuff in the light up shoes- well he needed those.

So this morning, the three of us and my grandmother loaded up. We assumed we would run inside our local mall as they opened, head to the Sears and grab the shoes and be done before noon. Wow we were wrong.

We went to Sears, no go for the shoes but my Nana wanted to browse so me and the boys went ahead to go to Payless to find them. As we enter Payless we get monkeys shoe size (a 13 by the way!!) I notice him grabbing his pants and immediately look up at me with the eyes that say "my bladder is about to bust". And immediately blurts out,"I've got to peepee Mom-mom".

Now we are in a mall which means a bathroom isn't on any corner and the closest one is back in the Sears. So I grab his hand, Bugs is still on my back in his mei tei and we start walking. This walk takes forever. He is literally holding his "peter" and saying "I can't make it !" While I'm begging him to hold it in. I mean honestly why aren't there more bathrooms in malls! A few parents and grandparents smile as we are making the long journey , and I know it's because they've been there.

But low and behold we made it! He didn't have an accident and we continued back to Payless which didn't have the shoes. Neither did Goodies. Or Penny's. Finally we found them in our shoe depot and they were on sale. They weren't red, but they do light up so it's a win. They make him jump high and run fast, which of course had to be tested before they were bought.

I think every store should have a mommy bathroom, made specifically for moms with kids or pregnant woman. Just a thought.

July 27, 2015

Starting today, I'm trying to blog at least twice a week. Once on Mondays, which I'm deeming "Marriage Modays" which I am by no means an expert. It will be everything from fun conversations to cute inspirational pictures either way it is a post about one or the most important topics in my life, my marriage.

Today's post is pretty simple. Me and B will be married for a year in just over a week. It has flown by! Honestly, I can't believe it's already been a full year. It seems yesterday that he was just this guy that I was lucky enough to call a friend-let alone my husband now.

To say it's all been easy wouldn't be true. I've had to get used to the fact that no matter what the man will not put the toilet paper on the dispenser and he's had to get used to the fact that I take my shoes off in random places-mostly not in the closet.

We've had to learn how to be parents of multiples and how to manage finances because I started staying home. But one thing I'm proud of, we haven't stopped flirting even in the midst of all our troubles. We still flirt and play around like we are still dating. It's great to still joke and laugh with each other.

I think that's important. Once you stop flirting and laughing, I think that's when things have a potential to go wrong. Now I'm by no means an expert considering I'm only a year into marriage, but my post my opinion :)

Another great thing we've learned to do is put God to the head of our marriage. Being able to have a strong support faith system had helped us a lot through the year. Sometimes it's as simple as my husband reminding me to pray if things are tough, or taking the kids to church. I'm happy with how our marriage is starting and blessed to be a wife.

What is something you had to learn to accept during your first year of marriage?

July 20, 2015

You know that person,can be male or female, that judges the mom who has the screaming toddler on the restaurant or Walmart. I was that person that said "Why can't they just control their children ?" When I would come across a mom in town with a toddler begging for a toy, she's trying to shop while wearing a baby- I even said the dreaded words "My child won't do that."

Boy oh boy if I only knew then what I know now. Luckily Monkey is growing out of his temper tantrum phase(don't get me wrong he still has his moments), and he can actually sit and eat in a restaurant. But I'm watching Bugs,as cute as he is now, and I know I'll deal with the same stuff too.

I didn't know that the mom I used to judge would become me. When did I realize this? Probably the time when Monkey was about 2 and we went to a restaurant. I was so excited because it had been the first time if went out to eat in a long time. I had even put on makeup for the occasion! We had just ordered and the temper started. The tears where wailing and all I wanted was to eat my chicken nacho, which I ha changed from a sit down to a "to -go". I was embarrassed why was my child acting like this? I had tried to take him to the bathroom for discipline and tried to do everything I could think of to make him stop even offering ice cream after dinner, but nothing worked. It was then I realized hard parenting was.

From the very beginning we are told all the opinions. Breast feed vs formula. Disposable diapers vs cloth. Spankings vs Attatchment Parenting. All while trying to swim in a new ocean with someone clinging to you. Everything is new. We all have to figure out what works best for our children. And what's best for some may not be best for others. Now I've learned to relax a bit and let things just roll. I'll even give that mom that's having a hard time in the store the "I've been there" smile as her kid is clinging to the batman toy that cost way too much. I try to make her know it doesn't last forever and one day you'll miss his little attitude.

So this week I challenge you reading this to give words of encouragement to another parent you might see. Let them know how great they are doing, doesn't matter how the kids are acting because at the end of the day we are all in the same big ocean just trying to fight the tide.

July 9, 2015

If you know me - you know I'm crafty. One day while I was visiting The Time Warped Wife , which is a fantastic blog and I've used a lot from her, I stumbled upon bible journaling. She created a Facebook group for it and immediately fell in love with the idea.

It is drawing,coloring,scrap booking all in one. It's a devotional for the crafty. It's literally drawing pictures for favorite verses of the bible. They even make special bibles for it now, but like a lot on there i don't have the extra funds. So I use my own version of it.

I use tracing paper and use washi tape for mine. It is beautiful and really helps focus and memorize verses well. You can be as creative as you like. As I stated before some people just draw over the words, some insert paper and some just buy the actual bible. Pinterest Bible Journaling and you will immediately get overwhelmed by the beautiful pages you will find. I know I'm not explaining it very well so here are some pictures and things I have done so far. No let me mention I am crafty- I am by no means an artist!

It is one of my favorite devotionald that I do. I can literally have my pencils , bible, and just have my special one on one time with God. Give it a try!

June 16, 2015

Once upon a time, I worried deeply about what others thought. Was I pretty enough? Thin enough? Did I act "cool" enough? I always made sure I never denied my faith in God but I didn't want to be that one girl that didn't get invited places because of the faith. I wanted to fit in and have friends. I worried what others would think if I wanted to go to church more, study the bible more, listen to Christian radio. So I didn't. When I had my first son , I knew God was with me. He whispered it would all be okay. I still ignored him. I went through many struggles And prayed thru them- each time he delivered but I never changed like I said I would. After broken relationships and getting away from many friends and being on my own I prayed again for someone to come into my life. I wanted a husband, a partner. But I knew he couldn't just love me. He had to love Monkey too.

Once again God answered and sent everything I was asking for. It was sometime during the wedding planning and pregnancy with Bugs that I picked up my bible and started reading. I literally just picked it up and started in Genesis.

Immediately I felt happier and more at peace. As a couple we started attending church, when we can. We worried how we would afford another child but I prayed hard. So far it's been 5 months since I've had to work. We aren't rich and some nights I literally don't know how we will make it but then we do.

I've learned I no longer care what others think. If they think it's cool or not. I'm not doin this for them- I'm doin it for myself and my family. I've learned my favorite place is at home. I have even learned to love maintaining it. I love watchingy children grow. I didn't complete a four year degree- just my two year. And sometimes I get down about that.

I was telling my grandmother this and she asked me what do I want in life. I told her a mother, wife, and I wanted to be spiritual. She smiled and said that sounds like a good woman to her, so that's what I'm striving for. I'm going to faulted and I know that. I don't pretend I won't. But I'm leaving those that don't want me to be this way on my past. I hope they find the way too, but this is the day I decide to do what's best for my family.

June 12, 2015

Being a stay at home mom is no joke! I am so much busier with cleaning,kids, cleaning up after the kids, and everything I have to do then I ever was working. Working was tough but man this is exhausting. I never get a break and I wouldn't change it.

My little dude Monkey turned four in May. He is signed up for pre-k and has gotten into the "let's see how far we can push it stage." Where did my baby go ? He used to think I hung the moon, now I'm a demon who won't let him go to town in nothing but his underwear. (Really, I'm evil ) . But at night I still get told how much he loves me so all is forgotten.

Bugs is getting big. Breast feeding is going great. He just turned 5 months and can roll (when he wants too). He loves to stand and puts everything in his mouth.

April 23, 2015

"Time passes quicker as you get older so enjoy it." Is a phrase I grew up hearing from the elders of the family. I would listen as they told stories of how summers used to seem forever long, and now a year would flash by in an instant. A few of them even stated how time went even faster as they watched their children grow. I didn't understand it then, but I do now.

When I was a child I can remember thinking that the school year would never end, and when it did that the summer was going to be here forever. Vacations seemed years long and days where I was so bored would be the death of me. I remember thinking how high school would never end, or how I would never get over a heartbreak. Looking back on it now, they are fleeting moments.

When I found out I was pregnant with Monkey, his pregnancy seemed to last forever. Then on the day he was born and I looked back on it; it was such a short time period in my life. The same goes for Bugs. When Monkey was little, I'll admit I probably didn't "enjoy" him being little as much as I should. I was with him always but I was always wishing he would do something... roll over, walk, talk, learn to use the bathroom. I never stopped to just enjoy his slobbery kisses. It's something I vowed to do when Bugs was born because Monday I enrolled my baby in Pre-School.

We were getting ready to go to the school and I was doing the check off: diapers, wipes, change of clothes, jacket for Monkey, his Nabi for when we went to Nana's afterwords, when Monkey comes into the living room. He looks up with me with his big blue eyes and I notice he has his backpack packed full of toys and his shoes are already on.

"I'm ready for school mom." He says and smiles. "My backpack ready... I packed toys. All big boys need a backpack for school."

I wanted to cry. He was ready. He is ready. I told him he was doing a great job and loaded them up in the car. I filled out the necessary paperwork and got him registered. His heart was broken when I told him he couldn't stay.

"I know you are, Monkey, but you can't stay today. They aren't ready for you yet. Let's go get lunch and we'll head on out to Nana's. " With that he sighed and got in the car telling me what he wanted for lunch.

The truth is, the school is ready for him. He is ready for the school. I'm not ready for it yet. The idea that he will no longer be with me during the day, he will no longer be my "baby" crushes me. I know it's a part of life, but it seems just yesterday I brought him home. When I was a single mom he was the one thing that made me smile at the end of the day. Everything I did was for him, and we are extremely close because it was just me and him for a long time. He was my strength, and now here he is ready to start a new journey. I know I'll be okay, and I'll put on my brave face his first day of school. I just wish somehow I could make this summer last forever. Monkey would still be at home and Bugs wouldn't get any bigger. Life does past much to quickly, especially when you have children, so remember to enjoy the moments. Even the ones that make you feel like your going to lose your mind, because those are the ones you look back on and miss.

April 7, 2015

"So when are you going back to work?" A question I have started to dread when I hear it. When we first made the decision to keep me home with the boys I was ecstatic... truthfully I still am, but it seems not everyone is.

When did being a stay at home mom become looked at as more of a failure then a success? I remember my mother staying home and thinking how cool it was. Other children wanted to be me so their moms could stay home. Now it seems times have changed. People expect you to make a lot of money, have the newest of everything or obviously you can't be happy.

With a three year old, and a newborn we decided it was much more cost effective to keep me home. I am nursing, using cloth diapers and daycare is crazy priced. So we were happy to stay home. Until I started seeing the look on peoples faces when I quickly reply with " I'm not going back, I'm staying home with the boys."

Its as if I am saying something terrible. Its because people believe those that stay at home are lazy, stupid, or something along those lines. But that isn't true. I made all As in highschool and college, graduated with my associates degree because I didn't want another. I was bored with it. I made the decision to leave and didn't look back. I'd also like to mention, I work more now being at home than I ever did at work. At home I never have a "lunch" or "break". I am always on go, always have to be ready for action....ready to clean up any messes that the boys can make.

Do I believe everyone should stay at home? No. If you want a career and being a mommy you go girl! I know you will do great, but don't judge us that don't want that. I've seen the looks,heard the tone of your voice when you try to hold back your judgement but I know its there. I've talked to others and they've had the same thing happened to them. We need to come together and realize that people like different flavors. Being at home with my children, watching them grow, and having supper cooked when my husband gets home may sound 1950s but I assure you its not and its what I want. I wouldn't give this up for anything!

Women should stop judging others on parenting styles, job or no job, size and many of the other things we judge. We should come together, help each other out, praise each other and give advice. Live your path and let others live there's. Just remember what you may see as a failure, may be their greatest success.

March 31, 2015

Change happens, we all know that. It's part of a journey. Having a new baby, getting married, are all a journey in themselves. However, one of the hardest journeys I've had in the past few months is breastfeeding.

Some people are lucky and everything works wonderfully for them. That was not the case with me. On the 9th of April, I will be able to say that I made it three months of (mostly) exclusively breastfeeding.

I made the decision to breastfeed bugs when I was pregnant. I had tried with Monkey, but only made it about a three months. It might have been a bit more but it wasn't very long that's for sure. Monkey had acid reflux, I was 20, when back to work, and didn't have a lot of support and when the first growth spurt hit I was done. My journey with Bugs has been completely different. This is not to make other's feel bad, not by any means. Heck I gave in and gave Monkey formula and he is fine... in fact with his recent visit to the doctor for the stomach plague that ravaged the house, was only the third sick visit in his life! So I understand those that give the babies formula. I have been there. One of the main reasons I wanted to breastfeed Bugs was because of the cost effective of it. I wanted to stay home. I really really wanted to stay home. But being on one income I knew was going to be hard. However, if I breastfed I knew it would help out tremendously not to mention the health benefits for Bugs.

I thought that it would be easy, wow I was in for a surprise. Let's start with the fact that I had a repeat C-Section. So that meant that my mobility was limited because,well... I was cut from one side to another. I had an iv in my left hand connected to fluids and pain medication (safe for breastfeeding). In my right hand I had a second IV (just incase they needed it... something the hospital required). I was cut with staples in my stomach, a catheter, and the weird leg compression things. Moving around sucked so bad. I felt like I was going to hurt the baby or that he was in a weird position. However the next day when I got most of it removed it got better and I thought hey this is great. I didn't know that his latch was wrong.

When I came home two days later I knew that I was having a hard time, but I didn't think much of it. My whole body was in pain from the surgeries (I had a double whammy... csection and a tubal) so my breast hurting wasn't a big deal. At least it wasn't until Bugs spit up a bit of blood. Immediately me and B freaked out. I started taking his temperature and B got on the phone with our moms. My mother, thank the lord for her, asked to see if I was bleeding...sure enough the nipple was. She talked me through the fact that the baby had swallowed the blood and that's what he spit up. She talked me though how to make it better and how to get him better latched. I did the best I could, but it was still hurting a lot.

A few days later the four of us gathered our stuff and went to my Nana's. B was going back to work, I still had my staples and on pain medicine (once again...safe for breastfeeding) so we were going there to have help with me. I felt like a giant baby during the whole process. Anyway between my mother and Nana, who both breastfed they coached me and it got better until a growth spurt. The first growth spurt, I thought I was going to go crazy. Bugs wanted to eat for hours at a time, almost constantly. I even had to *try* giving him a little formula. Which didn't work out because he refused to eat it..but I tried. Eventully I healed and he got better with his latch. However we still have our days that aren't great.

But we are making it, because I was determined too. I also had the help of my husband who still makes sure I'm comfortable when I feed, and that I have water. Which had made me realize having support is probably the best thing to have while trying to breast feed. It's having someone there to say you are doing good or helping you prop up pillows. I will say it is an awesome feeling, to know that I've accomplished three months of something so important to me as well. It is a journey, I learn a little more about everyday.

March 19, 2015

As my previous post shown I was quickly outnumbered by the arrival of Bugs. He became the third boy in the home and the fourth when my stepson is there. But I want to back up and talk about the day we found out he was a boy.

From the moment we found out we were going to have another baby, we prayed for a girl. Literally prayed, every night, for a girl. We wanted a girl. In fact the day we left to have our ultra sound we even had a name picked out, because we just knew it was going to be a girl. Her name was going to be Kenna Marie. I had all the old-wives tales signs for a girl..

We took Monkey with us, to enjoy the moment with us. He sat patiently in B's lap as we waited in the waiting room. Finally my name was called, and we went back. The technician put the fabulous cold gel on my stomach and B kissed my forehead and Monkey held my hand. The instant the ultrasound started, Bugs "man part" showed on screen. The technician laughed and said "Well there goes the surprise... it's a boy!" She smiled and I smiled.... although, honestly, at that moment I didn't want to smile. B's face even dropped when we found out.

It's not that we weren't happy the baby was healthy... it wasn't that at all. We were still thrilled that our baby was here, healthy and growing. We were sad. It was like our idea of a perfect family was gone...just like that. Monkey on the other hand was thrilled at the news. The rest of the ultrasound was strange...the news had shocked us both. There wasn't a lot said. We left, with pictures in our hands, still in mostly silence and didn't say much. Our phones were both blowing up from our families trying to see what the baby was going to be. We couldn't answer them... I felt like a disapointment. I knew that this was our last baby, there wasn't going to be another.

The decision to not have another one had been made early in the pregnancy by us both. B would be 40 when Bugs was going to be born already and didn't want anymore because of that reason. I didn't want to have another because this would be my second c-section at 24, and I didn't want my body to go through another one. (It's a good thing because my body probably couldn't take another.) We also didn't want to have four boys running through the house either.

When we found out it was a boy, many of my dreams had been crushed. In that split second dreams of bows and dresses went flying out the window. I realized I would never witness my daughter give birth, watch her get married, or braid her hair. I would never hear how my daughter looked like me,and how I would never get to pass on the family name of Marie. B realized much of the same and that he would never have a "daddy's girl".

We felt bad for not being happy,but partially because our families had wanted a girl just as much. We felt like we had let them down somehow, that we were going to disappoint them with the news of another boy. All of these emotions had hit us like a semi-truck in the few hours we were at the hospital. Walking to the car though was when everything changed.

Monkey held our hands, happy to be a big brother. He spoke of showing the baby how to play with trucks and trains, he said he'd show him how to watch movies and they would be able to take baths together. He reminded us of the positive things and all that we would be gaining. We started talking about how we would have so much sport equipment we would probably look like a gym, and how the boys would be so cute growing up together. Monkey told us that he had "awesome" parents, and that the baby would too. But he looked up to B and asked him, "I'll still be your big boy?" B told him of course he would, realizing that even though he didn't have a daddy's girl... he already had a daddy's boy for sure. See he isn't Monkey's biological father, so they chose each other and that is a powerful thing. I know, because it happened to me. After B realized this he quickly came to my side, telling me he wasn't upset. He started reminding me of all the positive things just as Monkey had. It didn't take long for the gender disappointment to fade, and we started telling the family.

Now that Bugs is two months old. We wouldn't change it for anything. He is amazing, and funny. He is more beautiful than I could have imagined and we love him so much it's unrealistic. He fit into the family perfectly. I wouldn't trade him for the most beautiful girl on the planet. I've always heard that God doesn't give us want we want... he gives us what we need, and it's true. I didn't think that we wanted a boy...but now that we have I don't want a girl. I like being the only girl in the house, I get to be Queen :D B likes knowing that should something happen to him, that he'll have boys that can help their momma when needed.

It was amazing the emotions that we felt in those quick minutes that passed us that day. I don't feel ashamed for them, because they couldn't be helped. We went from being sad to googling at the ultrasound pictures and laughing at how he already seemed to have my facial features and B's long arms. God know's what he is doing... even if we don't think it is what we want.

March 16, 2015

Soon after B proposed I immediately started wedding plans. David's Bridal was having their annual sale and I'm a girl that loves a bargain. With that being said I bought my gorgeous dress in mid January, with the intentions of weight loss that I was already progressively working on. My dress was gorgeous and I was more then happy to be marrying the man of my dreams. Around this time, we also set the date for August 7, 2014.

In April, B and I went and grabbed a bite to eat from a restaurant and I quickly got sick. I was sick almost all night long. Food poisoning I just knew it. It was awful. May 24 is Monkey's birthday, and we started planning for it in April. A week before his birthday, I just knew something was wrong. I was sick all the time, and I would want to sleep all day long. Getting up the courage to take a pregnancy test, my life changed once again for the second time.

22 (almost 23) and about ready to deliver

I told B in a horrible way. He had been weed eating and opened the door to ask for a glass of tea. That's all, poor soul. I had just taken the test and unloaded on him about it. Telling him I was pregnant, panicking, and didn't know what we would do. He immediately kissed me and we already knew there was no choice but to keep the baby, the only question was how would it affect the wedding. Would my dress fit? Would I be sick? Would I be showing? Slowly we told those around us. It wasn't that we were ashamed it was that we didn't want people believing this was the only reason we were getting married, and it wasn't. We had been engaged for months prior to this.

I lost weight because of how sick I stayed for 4 very long months. I seriously survived on fried gas station food, that was all that would stay down for some reason. The baby decided to stay mostly in the back and so back pain was a constant during the pregnancy. Unlike Monkey's my pregnancy was pretty well. Even for the wedding. I was sick, but thankfully it had calmed down some. The wedding did go off without a hitch, and it was a beautiful day. We celebrated and have loved being married.

The day we found out we were having a boy, was a lot of mixed emotions. However, that's another long story for another day. I knew that I was headed for another repeat C-Section, and soon our baby boy would be in our arms. It was a pretty easy pregnancy, with only pain in my back because he refused to get off of my spine and a pretty bad case of the allergies everything was perfect.

January 9, 2015. We arrived at the hospital at 6 a.m. The nurses and all were very sweet and helpful and everything was going according to plan, in fact they even got me into the OR early. With B holding my hand the entire time, even while I felt like a elephant was sitting on my chest, our boy came into the world at 8:39 a.m. His beautiful cries filling the room, and I was just thankful it was less traumatic then Monkey's. B took pictures and was so excited to show him off to the family. Bugs was born at 7 lbs 12 oz and only 18.5 inches long ( a midget compared to Monkey). He had a head full of hair and had my nose and lips. While he was being shown off and getting his first test from the nursery, I was being sewn up and really just wanted to sleep.

B was a perfect companion, husband, and friend during our stay at the hospital. The next morning was a bit rough because the surgery had left me with a lack of blood and my iron had basically bottomed out so two bags of blood had to be pumped through me, but it was all worth it every time my Bugs looked at me.

During his pregnancy, I had decided to have my tubes tied and babies from this girl would be finished. I was and still am happy with the decision. I have two beautiful amazing boys and while that may make me outnumbered in the house, it certainly makes it exciting. This isn't the life I thought I would have, but I'm certainly happy it was the life I was given.

March 2, 2015

A first post is always hard. I've had several blogs since I was 13 years old, most of them only known to a few close friends. No matter how may times you start one, the first post is the hardest.

I am 24 years old, a mother to two wonderful boys, a wife, and a stepmother. I started The Outnumbered Nest to become a sanctuary for me in this life. As my last child was born in January, I became very outnumbered in this house. But before we get there let's start at the beginning of this story....

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