May 15, 2007

I have been so use to doing so much of something, that since school has let out all I want to do is a whole bunch of nothing. I feel like a lazy ass. Maybe I'm just not back in the groove of being my normal self. What is my normal self anyway? I've been so disciplined and programmed to THINK, THINK, THINK and RETAIN, RETAIN, RETAIN that my brain is rejecting tedium. I was sitting on my front porch swing the other day watching the kids play, listening to the birds chirp and enjoying the summer breeze when a thought occured to me. "I'm bored out of my friggin' mind." Since when have I had the time to be bored? Then a slow smile crept across my face as I had a second thought..."And I'm lovin' every minute of it."

Sometimes just sitting with your thoughts and going through the motions is a good thing. No one should ever become to complacent and conditioned, in one direction or another. My mind and body are trying to adjust to this new way of life, only if it is temporary. I kind of feel jet lagged or culture shocked in a way. Oh well, I'll get over it and soon will settle in nicely to this lovely new freedom.

I have so many plans this summer. I would like to decorate my house, paint, garden, read, spend loads of time with my family and just be. Being is good. There is nothing else I would rather do than be.

Speaking of be...one more semester and then I'll be a nurse. Hey, did you hear that? That's kinda , uh, scary....and exciting. First semester seems like light years ago. I always tell people that going from first semester to third is like going from kindergarten to college. It's a huge leap and I feel I know so much more now that I ever thought I would. I still feel pretty stupid sometimes and even had a nightmare lastnight that I forgot how to do CPR, but overall I feel good.

Speaking of dreams...have you ever had a dream or a nightmare that followed you around all day haunting you like some nagging song playing in your ears all day? Lastnight I had a horrible, horrible dream and it stuck with me all day and I'd really like to forget it. I won't bore you with details, but I will tell you that I needed to do CPR and I panicked and forgot how! Foreshadowing? Let's hope not. Even in my subconcious REM sleep state I was trying to critically think. (I am programmed) The first thing I did was lay the person on the floor. Obviously. Then I yelled for someone to call 911 and then I tried with all of my might to remember how to do CPR. I froze and just stared and panicked and it was horrible and then I woke up in a cold sweat. Ugh. I hate nightmares. I have a friend who loves to analyze dreams and I guess it's cool, but I'm not so sure that Freudian stuff is accurate. Ex: If you dream of snakes, it means you're going to acquire a lump sum of money by mail....or something or other. What does snakes have to do with money? If I dream of snakes it's usually because I'm terrified of them and I've never been rewarded for that by an envelope full of cash. It's a nice thought though.

This isn't exactly in the same topic, but what is Deja Vu exactly? This happens to me all the time and everytime it does it feels like I'm having some freakish mind trip like "Whoa man, I've done this before..." Do you think deja vu is related to our dreams, our subconcious mind? Could it be because we actually have done it before and maybe in some parallel universe we are living the same life over again? (Scary) If it is perhaps related to our dreams then that may mean that we have all of our dreams stored somewhere in our brains and anytime a similar situation occurs it triggers the dream memory compartment of our mind. This theory may be true because where does all of that knowledge and experience of our lives go? Does it leak out in the middle of the night? Does it fade away and is just gone forever and ever? OR Maybe our brain just has a spastic reaction and it's nothing. Who knows, who will ever know? Do I really care? Not really, but it's interesting just the same. That's some heavy stuff right there. Somebody's got some explainin' to do.

Ok, onto much lighter and fun topics because all of this mind talk has caused my brain to hurt. Did anyone catch the Bachelor lastnight? I'm sure I'm in the minority who actually watches this show, but I can't help myself. It was a good episode. Andy took the 3 girls back to his home of Hawaii and they had 3 romatic dates and he dumped one and Tessa and Bevin are left. I, personally like Tessa. She seems more level headed and not as clingy and needy as Bevin. Bevin cries all the time, she comes on kinda strong (which is probably why he likes her) and isn't nearly as attractive as Tessa, IMO. I don't know why I watch this show because I think that no woman should ever fight over a man on national tv, but it's that same thing I hate that keeps me watching. It's like watching a car crash...you can't take your eyes away.

I watched Idol tonight and am bored with it altogether. I am usually into the show, I just haven't watched it much this season. I would like Blake to win with Melinda second, other than that I don't care. I think that Jordan will have a career whether she wins or not. Her voice is beautiful. Did you notice that Blake's song choice tonight is actually one of my vids on my blog (Robin Thicke-When I Get You Alone)? Groovy.

A great blog I've been reading lately is called the Underwear Drawer, the link is under my fav sites. It's very smart and witty. It's about the life of a new anesthesiologist and her gorgeous Dr. husband who live in Manhattan raising their 3 year old son Cal. Kinda sounds like a reality show doesn't it? It's a cool blog, check it out.

I'm so excited for the new and last Harry Potter book to come out in July. I am so boring right? I heard there are some spoilers because someone snagged a copy. I DON'T WANT TO KNOW ANYTHING! If someone told me what will happen I would come very close to causing bodily harm to them. Reading these books for years and trying to untangle the plot has been what has made the series worthwhile and so fantastic. To have all of that ruined because of someone's big mouth would be just plain mean. I've already warned my husband and he saw that evil flash in my eye. I think he got the hint. lol

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Aidan & Andrew Baldwin ('The Bachelor')

DISCLAIMER!

I am adhering to HIPPA by changing all patients names, dates, locations and exact specificity that relates to them and their condition on this here blog. No one's privacy will be violated in any way. Cheers! :)~Christy