2006-12-18

Falling Over

My heart is totally and completely broken but someone why I trust told me to trust the outcome and I don't think she was giving me a line.I'm pretty good about knowing when someone's full of shit.

I only have to finish the Final Battle with Ganon and I will have won The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past. It's taken me 5 weeks but give a little credit - I'm a 32 year old lady with a dog to entertain and a heady TV schedule.

I actually wish that I had another Zelda lined up because the next few weeks are going to keep being sort of rough. I mean, it might smooth out but as things are today, I just lived through the most awful and emotional weekend I've ever had that's not connected to a dude breaking up with me.Actually, this weekend was more devastating and humiliating and a thousand times more public than any breakup I've had since 2001.

Yeah it was public.Public crying, public red puffy face, public snot, public failure, public public public and not a single thing I could do to change that.Had I stayed home, I would have been a total asshole and since I went, I am only sort of a jerk.

The shock and surprise and anger and sadness and jealousy all hit at exactly the time that I had to go there and face all these people and be like, "Dude. No. I didn't. I don't know yet. I hear you. Okay. I'm not going. Please don't hug me. I am sorry. I can't stop. I know it's weird. Please help me get out of here before I choke on the pieces of my souls that are bubbling uncomfortably up from my stomach."

So I wish that I had a new Zelda lines up and ready to play because it could easily take me through the next 6 weeks, provided that only 6 weeks are the number of weeks I have to get through in order to finish this in the manner in which it was expected to be finished - by me and by just about everyone I've heard from over the last two days.

I feel pretty sick, actually, and there's sort of a systems failure. I can't do the thing I used to be able to do. Like, I went last night and my feet, my legs, my HEAD... nothing worked.