I’ve mentioned to someone that watching the Jersey Shore is like watching Animal Planet. It’s like watching the mating habits of a cheetah, or something like that. There’s no doubt in my mind that this is true.

Where to begin? The douchebagginess of the cast leaves you speechless. There are no words to describe these self-professed guidos and guidettes. The cast is heading to Italy to meet real Italians. We all know that this will only end in tears. You knew exactly where this was heading, ever since the last episode, we all saw that Snooki and Deanna are totally out of control. Much to Jenni’s dismay, who always has to pick up the pieces. This time around, Jionni is involved. From what we’ve seen of him or heard of him, it looks like he’s a lot more traditional than Nicole, something that she has yet to fathom or understand.

It turns out that Jionni is still in town, and Jenni manages to reach him before he hops onto a train to Rome. Snooki comes running, but he decides to go anyway because of some ticket issues. Whatevs, that’s just his excuse. Snooki is depressed for a while. Then, she talks with him a day later and he tells her off about being a drunken slag. He tells her the truth, but she doesn’t want to hear it and decides to hook up with Vinny. From the previews, it looks like Mike will try to get into Snooki’s business by having a mate call up Jionni and tell him that Snooki screwed Vinny behind his back. There will be a massive confrontation between Snooki and Mike, and Snooki will definitely no longer be dating Jionni.

Warning: This post might offend you.

[Ed. note:I had to put some warning here, and I thought that this was kind of funny, but you have been warned!]