Who Says Dallas Observer Music Awards Are Worthless? 'Cause They Ain't.

I've just spent the last three minutes mumbling to myself, "What the fuck?" Which isn't all that rare, if you wanna know the truth. But in this particular instance, it's because someone just e-mailed me the link to this particular item up for grabs on eBay: Tripping Daisy's 1999 Dallas Observer Music Award, for Best Act Overall. Says the Brooklyn-based seller: "Here we are folks, a truly rare collectible for all Tripping Daisy/Polyphonic Spree fans. This is the only one that exists." Which is true. I can attest to that.

But, are you kidding me -- this thing's already going for $107.50?!?!?!?! And 16 bids??!?! With five days left? (Lesse, where's Tim DeLaughter's phone number ... ah, here it is.) Good God, surely we have a few unclaimed Music Awards lying around somewhere, because not everyone picks up their award -- I know, shocker, right? Oh, wait, here's one -- Chris Cantalini, act now or we're cashing in. And I have one from 1998 with my name on it. It's yours at the pay-now price of three bucks, which is exactly how much I owe Schutze. --Robert Wilonsky