Would you date or like a girl who depends on you more than necessary?

I mean you do like her a lot. have lots in common, but the problem is that for certain things she has to depend on you to do some stuff? I mean would y ou accept it because you like her a lot or you blew her off and not continue seeing her? For instance would be a problem for you if the lady you like dont have her own transportation but you do, so each time you want to go out with her, you will have to pick her up or you let her go by herself by taxi or bus to your place because you won't pick her up given theh circumstances you dont live so close to each other, I mean not super far away but maybe like 40 minutes to up to 1 hour (if the traffic is dense) from each other, even if the lady could cooperate and pay you part of the gasoline just in the case he picks you up.

I mean in old times couples when neitehr one had transportation, the guy never mind to go and date the girl and he used the bus to go to her house or if they want to go to th e movies or to eat they meet at particular place and then they were together.

Updates:

The transportation issue is just one example I meant when I talked about being dependent

Most Helpful Guy

No I would not. But... But... If I was super into her I probably wouldn't mind as long as there was a conversation that this isn't her future... if she is working on these things no problem.. if she is looking for me to just take care of her the rest of her life then NO.

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Most Helpful Girl

My boyfriend always picks me up even though I have transport he just likes to come get me... We live probably 20 mins apart not too far. I mean does she depend on you for everything? Or is that the only thing? If she's willing to pay partly for the gas then I don't see the problem...Any other examples you can give? When I think about depending on someone in a relationship I always think that she would be expecting you to buy everything...

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Asker

In this case it was just the transportation issue. The driving distance could be 9 miles between from where he lived and she lived and the time between each city depending on the traffic it could take 45 minutes, but the girl once seem the guy did not want to go all the way to where she lived to pick her up to go on a first date as the guy told her he did not go that often to the city so he preferred if she moved close to where he lives so he can pick her up. So the lady because she wanted to see him, went to her sister house (coincidentally her sister lived int he same city as the guy) and from her sister house the guy picked her up.

So what's the problem then? I mean if she isn't relying on you money wise as well I don't see the problem. I would go get my boyfriend if he doesn't have transport. 45 minutes isn't too bad. I drive to uni for like over an hour each way so I guess I'm used to long drives but the situation sounds fine to me?

I mean the issue was the guy who seem to bother to go all the way to her house to pick her up, he rather her to go to the city where he lives so for him it be easier to commute himself to where she was close to his house

That is why he may not like her to be dependent on him for that issue: Transportation. Cause they did not live that close and for him to go and see her once in a while it could had been a bit of hassle for him to do it so, otherwise she will have to use public transportation to meet with the guy at some place in his city. But I found that so unpolite from the guy only thinking in his needs just because there is a lot of traffic to go the ladys place to pick her up , he does not like to move far away from his town.

What Guys Said 20

I'll help out where I can, but women these days, at least in America, are expected to be independent and to be able to take care of themselves. Until things like marriage or children are involved where she might be in a position of dependence upon her spouse, there's usually hardly any excuse for a woman to not have a job or to not have a car or something. Unfortunately, it's not like the "old times" where men went out of their way to date women, feminism has ruined that, and women are keen on proving themselves capable, so it's not a requirement anymore in dating for us to do this-or-that for them.

If your question is, is 40 minutes worth of travel too much to ask of a guy who has his own car, the answer is no. If any guy refuses to drive that far and asks you to take a bus, cab, or uber, dump him. He isn't worth dating.

If I was dating a girl and she was always asking me to buy her or expecting things like designer handbags, expensive jewelry, or things like that I would say that's too much. But things like paying for the meal, picking you up, holding the door, etc. should all be considered minimum requirements.

I know it might seem odd to do, but consider yourself like some valuable recourse. You are gold or diamonds, if whatever this guy is doing isn't selling itself up to what your worth, you should find someone who will.

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Asker

Notice how no guys had answered this post haha!!. I like your intake. Of course if a girl ask for expensive things I agree is to much and is wrong to be dependent in that field. But small things like the ones you mention of a girl being dependent on a guy are not harmless. I know a guy who for him it was a hassle to pick up a lady for a date, cause she did not have a car, They both live like 45 minutes apart depending on the traffic and the driiving distance was like 12 kilometers (8 miles or so). For the guy it was a bit uncomfortable to pick always the girl up, even if they do not hang out that often.

Mostly no, I wouldn't. The first thing I would be wondering is "Why doesn't she have her own transportation?" by the way, it gasoline is maybe half of the cost per mile. If you want people with cars to share rides with you, you should be paying for all the gas.

In old times when neither one had transportation, they didn't live 30 miles apart.

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Asker

Ohh I guess I was talking about distances in where I live, as I dont live in the USA

As the Girl should have had a life before she met me, she should be used to not having a chauffeur. If she has been living without the wanted support, then there is little need for the "support" for her. If a woman I date starts demanding things she was able to live without before meeting me, then it is time to leave.

It says more than just independence. Like that she has no shame and no pride. She doesn't have to be completely independent but if I have to wonder how they were surviving in life before I came along it really gets me thinking.