Friday, June 16, 2017

Well!...

Thursday, May 18, 2017

1:40p.m.

Wouldn't you know it, I started having troubles with toxins where I was, and early Wednesday morning I left Anson-Wright and drove up the mountain. My intent was to check with the County Road master, and inquire if he'd sprayed a road I intended to camp along. Only Greg appeared in my rearview mirrors on the way up the foggy, slushy highway. It had snowed in the night. Greg told me he'd find me a place at OHV. So here I am, and I've had two nights of good sleep and going on two days of rest, without torture. The ATVs, dirt bikes and dune buggies buzz bye, but I'm safely inside and their fumes are not as pervasive as pesticide. The molecules are larger, so they don't make their way in. Tomorrow I'll move from this full hook up to one with just water. I went out yesterday evening during the dinner hour and emptied the grey and filled the fresh. No one was brooming about. Tomorrow I'll fill the drinking water, at the new site, before people get up. Its been a welcome relief to not have bad news, or problems to report, when I've talked with my husband.

5:30 p.m.

I moved today. Another camper pulled in right next to me around 2:00 p.m.. He had 5-6 other spaces between me and the next guys. I would have chosen the middle one. I still can't figure out why people clump up like that. He plugged into the other side of the pedestal that I was using and set up his waste water hose. I feared I would not be able to unhook without harm, even if I waited until the middle of the night. Ever so vaguely I began to smell the chemicals volatizing off them and seeping into my RV. I debated my options. Then I saw him swishing a clothe about his head. He was swarmed by mosquitoes. I knew it wouldn't be long and he would be laying down a fog of insecticide. I called Kirsti and asked her to send the camp host to help me move. I bit back my panicky comments about mosquitoes and impending insecticide. The deputy showed up very quickly and unhooked me and put my lift blocks away. I saw that his back was covered in mosquitos as he bent to put the blocks in the bin. I drove over to my new boondocking spot. A little bit later I saw the sheriff's deputy pass by to check on me.

When 4:00 p.m. came I took Rosie out. The mosquitoes were thick and ravenous. We didn't spend a lot of time outside. We'll wait until its good and cold before going out again. It was warm and sunny today, which is why the mosquitoes hatched.

Friday, May 19, 2017

9:30 a.m.

AAAAIYAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Around 5:30 p.m. yesterday, I think it was 5:30 - 6:00 p.m.

I had the window open and heard a motor. It was a slow rumble. I thought at first it was another boondocker several spots away from me. Then I got suspicious that it was getting louder and shut the windows. Pretty soon I saw an ATV coming. It was the park's and belching out fog. There was a tank under the stacks. Mosquito fogging!!! He passed right in front of my RV, 20 ft. away. I started stowing stuff, and trying to call Ron (it went to voice mail). I grabbed my face mask and put it on. Ron called back and told me to get out of camp!!! I was already trying to, but I had to follow the mosquito fogger. Its a one way road. I hung back, for as much as that would help. I couldn't have told Ron where I was going. I didn't know where to go. Once I left that spot, I lost cell reception. Unglamorous, and unheroic as it was, I was sobbing in fear and grief. I knew it was already too late for me. My lips were burning. My teeth hurt. The only unknown was how bad it was going to get. As I got to the gate I turned up East of Morphine road to Tupper because I couldn't get out to close my generator bin door. The outside of my RV was covered in insecticide. Driving on the highway with an open bin would damage the door. I drove slow. Symptoms had started rising. I was already having trouble with my vision. Savage pain, weakness and spasms flooded my arms, back and abdomen. I looked for a safe place to pull over that had cell. Ron would be frantic. I didn't find one until the top of the ridge before Tupper. When I called Ron I discovered he was already in Heppner. He couldn't just wait at home doing nothing. He wanted to come and at least rinse off my RV. That would help. Spent, and sick as I was I jigged my 30ft RV around on a one lane wide gravel road and headed back down the mountain. Again I drove at a crawl. I sqinted, blinked and rubbed my burning gritty eyes, to force them into focus. Finally I met him at Anson-Wright. He washed off the RV, while I started medicating: IV, mB12, Bh4, arnica, TMG, ATP. Then we drove our rigs back up into the mountains. I had noticed a place that had a graveled drive to pull through, rather than having to back in. I was too sick and it was too dark to back into anything. Ron left. He'd wanted to stay, but he couldn't come in and there was nothing more he could do. I sent him home. I made herbal teas: licorice, burdock root, ginger, milk thistle. Put on extra socks, and shirts under my sweater, and took my blankets to the couch. It was a hard night.

At 12:30 a.m. Woke up with chest and back ice pick pain. I consoled myself by repeatedly telling myself "I've had worse." Only problem was that those times it was before my IV, and IV is the treatment. I've already done the treatment... Frantically I manipulated every accu point I could think of. My stiff, painful neck and jaw got worse, teeth in both sides of my mouth throbbed. Tongue swollen. Urine dark brown. Eventually the chest and back pain subsided. Most symptoms seem to peak around 2:00 a.m.

I woke again at 6:00 a.m. and made coffee and took Rosie out. I'm weak, spent and exhausted. I still have pain and many of the same symptoms, but they are better than last night. I managed to drive back up to the ridge top for Ron's and my cell phone apt. at 7:30 a.m. Then I found another spot to pull over and made Rosie's breakfast. Its a wrangle around back in spot. My spine and lymphs are still screaming. I'm still weak. I made gruel for me and because I couldn't see, I put garlic in it instead of ginger. Ick. I ate it anyway. Ick. Then I wanted to write this all down, just in case.

Greg found me. He'd finally received Ron's voicemail this morning. Both he and the camp host are sick to their stomaches over what happened. He apologized profusely. I forgive them, people just don't understand the depth of vulnerability with this condition. Its too outside of normal. The camp maintenance guy who sprayed thought I was still back at B12. He didn't fog right there... They don't get that fogging in the campground while I'm there is "too close." The guy that pulled into B11, was a day early... I was a mess. Talking to Greg about this only made me more aware of all my symptoms and the precariousness of my position. I deal with it best if I can ignore as much as possible. I need to take my mind off of it. Facing it undoes me, leaving me wide open to both the pain, the fear and grief. I'm going to try to rest now.

AND THE FUN DOESN'T END

So while I was writing that last entry I heard a plane. At first I told myself it was a landowner with a private runway. Then I noticed it seemed to have a circuitous route. It went a round a couple of times. I couldn't lay eyes on it, I hoped it was far enough away. When it flew off, the sound of it's engine diminishing to nothing, I told myself it was O.K. But it came back. I saw it some distance away this time. It was circling, but I couldn't pinpoint where. It left. The third time I caught sight of it a mile away, above the ridge right behind me, and low. Too close! I was debating what to do. It was targeting the area that began from the spot where I was making cell phone calls and back down the ridge behind me. It kept going. I lost sight of it. All of the sudden I heard it again, real close. It buzzed right over the top of me. It was grey with sky blue trim. It was less than 100ft off the deck. I noticed a couple of things very shortly: 1.) the mosquitoes were gone, so were the bees. There were flowering hazel bushes on either side of me. A new bee came in. She landed on the bush, lost coordination and fell to the ground. 2.) my lips started burning. My encephalopathy was rising. So was my spinal swelling...

Whether the plane actually tooted me with insecticide, or was even spraying for mosquitoes, or it was just the aviation fuel I don't know. I just knew I felt more symptoms and needed to get the heck out of there. I pulled out, and headed back down the mountain, radioing Greg every so often incase he was in the field somewhere nearby. My stomach was still in spasm and my back muscles weak. I sat hunched over like an 80 year old. I kept trying to sit up straight, but I couldn't do it. More pain, more terror, more sobbing. Then I saw the camp maintenance guy coming up the road. We both stopped. He also apologized profusely. Which made me cry even more. I hate that. He kept apologizing and saying that he didn't know I'd moved. He told me he doesn't spray that around me. He thought I was at B12, so he didn't spray there. Since I'd followed him out I knew he'd given it a "safe radius" of 50 ft. When he said that I looked him right in the eyes and said, "My radius is half a mile. If you want to spray, come tell me, I'll leave." Looking into his face I didn't see remorse, belief or acceptance. I got the impression his apologies were more about not getting fired. I'll take what I can get. He did say, emphatically, that he'll never do that again! I forgave him too.

I finally found Greg back at OHV and asked him to hose off my RV. He pressure washed it. I started feeling better after that. Enough that the pain receded from full on crying level. I'd called Ron when I got into cell range, and called him again on the way out. I told both Ron and Greg where I thought I'd be. Greg told me he will come check on me this afternoon. I'll have him let Ron know how I'm doing. I also remembered to call and refill my glute prescription. Then I drove up to try out a different spot along side the road. I took Rosie out when we got here. I'm colding up the refrigerator, and heating water to wash. I'm having toxic sweat. Ugh. Need to get that off. I'm also oil pulling to draw the toxins out of my mouth and teeth. Dang I'm tired.

4:55 p.m.

BORED! I've been trying to rest. Too much pain to sleep. Too much caffeine, too. I've been drinking coffee to reduce the swelling. I did wash a pair of leggings after washing me up. Cleaned the toilet, too. That tells you how bored I am... And I made more gruel custard. Not much else to do at this point, just waiting for my body to come around. The pain is down to a no crying level. Still suck-pill, but tolerable.

About Me

In 2004 I was diagnosed with Chemical Sensitivity. It resulted from pesticide poisoning, a Toxic Injury. I lost about 98% of who I was. I've embarked on the journey of "Rebuilding me."
You can find me on Facebook at "Toxed2loss"