As we enjoy the notion of a Harold Reynolds-hired private investigator snooping around Bristol asking Berman where, exactly, on the doll he would like to touch, we note that Harold, deep into his lawsuit against the network for firing him, has gone on the PR offensive, talking to some columnists this weekend, including Steve Kelley, an old favorite around these parts. Our favorite part of the chat:

"They have [sensitivity] classes at ESPN for things like this," Reynolds said. "But never in the 10 previous years I've been there have I ever had to go to one of those classes. The way they are, if they want to work with me on new interview techniques, if they want to show me a new studio, anything like that, they take me by the hand and walk me down the hall to the studio or the meeting room. You would think if they thought there was a problem, I would have had to go to one of those training sessions. But never, not one time ever, was I told to go to one of those classes."

Reynolds also said there never has been any language in his contract that warns about the consequences of inappropriate sexual behavior. Not even in the newest contract he signed in March.

"And there are guys who do have those things in their contracts," Reynolds said.

Oh, we're sure there are! We love — LOVE — the idea of different ESPN personalities having certain behavioral clauses written into their contracts. We suspect you can come up with some fun ones.