Hardly Working / Fight Walking

Script

Hardly Working: Fight Walking

By CH Writing Staff

INT. OFFICE (NIGHT)
CALDWELL and KEVIN are searching for something. Caldwell
pulls a clock out of a filing cabinet. It reads 2am.
CALDWELL
Found it! Another successful game
of Find the Clock.
KEVIN
Oh no, it's 2am! I gotta get home.
CALDWELL
Wanna split a cab?
KEVIN
Nah. I'm gonna walk.
CALDWELL
Aren't you worried about getting
mugged?
KEVIN
Nope. Because I know the ancient
self defense art of Fight Walking.
EXT. SIDEWALK (STILL NIGHT)
Montage! Real dumb fight walking song plays. Kevin is fight
walking down the sidewalk, flailing his arms and legs wildly
as he goes. We cut quickly between Kevin walking across a
series of shots.
SONG
Fight walking, it's the only walk
that's a fight. Fight walking,
Gonna punch and kick all night.
Fight walking, Flying high on the
kicks of my feet. Believe in myself
and I never stop punching. Yeah!
Fight walking!
Kevin turns a corner. THREE THUGS jump out. One of them is
wearing a shirt that says "Rapist".
THUG 1
Not so fast.
THUG 2
Gimme your wallet.
RAPIST THUG
I'm gonna rape you.
KEVIN
Not todayyyyyy!
Song kicks in extra hard. Thugs attack one by one, but are
thwarted by random punches and kicks.
SONG
Fight walking, gonna walk and fight
the crime away. Fight walking, with
a gallant stroll to make thugs pay.
Fight walking, I'm getting in shape
and rearranging your face.
Cardiovascular self defense.
Hoo-hoo! Fight walking yeah!
Close up on PAT, across the street, he has his hands on his
head.
PAT
Woooowwwwww.
Zoom out to reveal Pat is on his knees. a THUG shoots him
execution style.
Kevin gets to his apartment door. Interior shot of door.
Freeze frame on Kevin kicking it open, arms and legs
flailing wildly. "Fight walking!" graphic overlays video.
SONG
Fight walking!
Unfreeze.
KEVIN
Shit. I forgot to turn off my
computer.
Ext. Sidewalk. Kevin fight walks down a street.
SONG
FIGHT WALKING!
End.