Reunite the Original American Idol Judges to Judge the 2016 Presidential Debates

Since 2009, a great absence has haunted this nation. The philosophical balance that drives this country forward has been replaced by acrimony and discord. Only one solution can restore harmony to our culture: Reuniting the original American Idol judges to moderate the 2016 presidential debates.

In the halcyon days of the new millennium, Paula Abdul, Simon Cowell and Randy Jackson guided the zeitgeist as judges on FOX’s American Idol. From 2002 until Abdul’s departure in 2009, this trio critiqued countless singers. With the guidance of the judges, America voted powerhouses like Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood and Lee DeWyze to be our Idols, sending them to the top of our hearts before they reached the top of the charts.

Now, the original home of this trio of judges is no longer. But what better stage for their return, and what arena more desperate for help, than the 2016 presidential election?

These three perfectly encapsulate all the potential of American democracy. Cowell, with his caustic British wit, represents our nation’s past. Jackson’s industry savvy and bass guitar acumen mirrors its present. And in Abdul’s duet with a cartoon cat, we glimpse the future.

The upcoming Presidential election has been plagued on all sides by unreliable punditry. This fall, the debates should be judged by three individuals Americans actually trust: Paula Abdul, Simon Cowell and Randy Jackson. If they can guide us, surely voters can come together to elect a worthy president.