Pages

Homer Simpson Quotes 2

Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's
that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and
foxy boxing and such and such.
Tweet This

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?
Tweet This

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.
Tweet This

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.
Tweet This

Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.
Tweet This

I want to share something with you: The three little
sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number
2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.
Tweet This

Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that.
Tweet This

Remember that postcard Grandpa sent us from Florida of
that Alligator biting that woman's bottom? That's right, we all thought
it was hilarious. But, it turns out we were wrong. That alligator was
sexually harrassing that woman. Tweet This