May 8, 2012

Only 29 countries in the world explicitly ban all forms of violence by law. It’s surprising, but the idea that a slap is the solution to lots of problems is still widely accepted. Truthfully, do we treat our children, nieces, nephews and grandchildren with affection? Is the way in which we relate to them free from violence?

It is essential to educate with affection, without violence. And it is also possible. It is vital in order to guarantee our children’s development and a future of fairer and more peaceful societies. Fathers, mothers, institutions and organisations must develop a common approach: one which satisfies each and every need for each phase of a child’s development, and the respect for the rights described in the Convention on the Rights of the Child.

As adults and guardians of our children this is the path that should be followed, the only one. We must protect our boys and girls, care for and cuddle them, but also provide them with the tools and capacities they need to develop and reach their full potential. In short, offer them the opportunity to have a better future. But how do we go about it?

The main thing is to integrate and incorporate these guidelines into our daily routines, social policies, and encourage them in the interpersonal relationships between children and their day-to-day at school, at home, or during extracurricular activities. High expectations and not enough affection and communication? Lower expectations and more affection and communication? Neither. It is about finding a balance. Finding the exact dose of affection and expectation, combined in a responsible way, and prioritising the best interests of the child, respecting his or her right to participate and express views freely in relation to the aspects that affect him or her.

Positive parenting is based on the rights of children and involves establishing the necessary limits so that they can develop their full potential as a member of the family and the community they live in. Positive parenting means respecting their rights and educating them, without resorting to physical punishment or any other kind of violence.

It is our obligation and responsibility to ensure that children grow up in a family environment that gives them security, love and understanding. This is the best way to guarantee a child’s full physical, emotional and social development. However, it is still a considerable challenge in many parts of the world and the statistics from some countries do not leave one indifferent.

Fathers and mothers need support in order to exercise their roles in a responsible and positive way. In order to carry out their educational and social task they need more policies and programs that promote an education based on good treatment and affection, and favour the social, employment and financial conditions needed to be able to do so. It is vital to promote and favour positive parenting, as it is the best way to prevent abuse and child exclusion.

Educating and imposing discipline without using violence, without resorting to punishment, be it physical or psychological, is possible.