On December 18, just eight days shy of the 19th anniversary (or yahrzeit, depending on how you look at it) of the dissolution of the Soviet Union, the Kremlin will have a holiday party for 350 people (“a tight circle”). The theme? Back in the USSR. Which is, like, so the cleverest.

The event will be held at the Klyazma Resort — which sounds like the Russian word for enema — and will begin promptly at 2:00 pm. Then after a five-hour vomitorium/disco-nap break, will resume at 10:00 pm and go till 5 in morning.

There will be fireworks, a taped, jokey greeting from the President. To inspire the Soviet spirit, doppelgangers of Leonid Brezhnev and Alla Pugacheva (Russia’s Cher-Barbara-Liz amalgam) will regale the crowd with 40 minute acts. There will also be songs from the heady decline of the USSR, from ABBA, Adriano Celentano, Modern Talking, and Mirazh. Also, Winnie the Pooh. He’ll be there.

We know all this, by the way, from a tender posted on the government’s site for such things. The fete’s organizers inside the presidential administration were rather specific about what they wanted: Lambada, the dance craze of the Soviet twilight, is a must, as are the Pussycat Dolls.