I worked at a small public relations company for several years for one
of the most inconsiderate and self-centered bosses on the planet. If it
had not been for the wonderful co-workers, many of us wouldn't have lasted
a week at this company. I should mention that there are only 4 employees
in our company and that, with the exception of our boss, we were a very
tight-knit family.

Our boss, "Kathleen," comes from a well-to-do family and
decided to open her company as a way to become important in the community.
When I first interviewed for the job, I was led to believe that she was an
active advocate for childrens' issues and was a staunch Republican. I
would later find out that her civic involvement was strictly for personal
gain and that her contributions to a political party would sometimes take
greater importance over her employees.

Having recently graduated, I was thankful for any employment
opportunity, especially a job in the field in which I had studied. So, at
first, I didn't feel comfortable voicing my opinion when she would do
things that were blatantly racist, sexist or just plain rude.

For instance, she would only allow the African American employee to
have Martin Luther King, Jr. Day off, while the Caucasians were expected
to work since "what MLK stood for didn't involve us." Is that
not reverse racism? She would quote her father, who was a watchmaker who
would work on Christmas, saying "Jesus never bought a watch from him
and he didn't feel that he had to observe his holiday," therefore,
since MLK never did business with her, she didn't have to observe his
holiday either. Never mind the fact that her father was Jewish and did not
believe in Christmas.

She also had stated many times that she would not even consider hiring
a man to work in our firm because they would only "mess up the
dynamic of the office."

Because it was a small office, all employees were aware of the
financial situation of the business. Although my boss had said many times
that the business was her baby and that she would put her own money into
the business to keep it afloat before she would ever shut her doors, she
none-the-less constantly reminded us of how grateful we should be that we
had jobs even though we had lost a few clients. I can understand that and
would have even been sympathetic if she hadn't come in to brag to us about
the two new cars she had bought, paying cash, for her son and
daughter...both grown children who live out of state but are still are
supported by their mother. She also bought a new BMW for herself, just
before Christmas.

So, Christmas comes around and we all brainstorm what to get the wicked
witch of the East. We decide on a pricy wallet that she has been
mentioning for months to match her over-priced hand bag. We waited and
waited to hear if we would have Christmas Eve off or an announcement as to
when our Christmas party would take place. In the past, our parties have
consisted of lunch and presents being exchanged. Nothing was said, so
eventually we decided to just go ahead and give her the present.

Now, in the past, she not only has made us work on Christmas Eve, but
she waits until that day to give us our bonuses as well. It doesn't help
at all with any pre-holiday shopping, but it is much appreciated. That
year, she opened her present and the only thing she said was that she
already had that particular wallet and would now have to exchange it.
Still no mention of a party, bonus or possible day off.

We ended up working a full day on Christmas Eve and she didn't even
acknowledge the holiday or mention a bonus. We thought for certain that
she wouldn't just not give us a bonus after years of presenting us with
one. We also noted the tens of thousands of dollars that she had given to
her political party throughout the year and figured that it couldn't be
that there was no money for bonuses.

Now, I know that we shouldn't confuse her personal wealth with that of
the business, but both of her kids receive allowances out of the company
fund (we have been told by an ex-bookkeeper) and she is open about the
fact that she keeps her personal and business finances blended together.

And so Christmas came and went and we returned after the holiday with
very poor attitudes, to say the least. With it being impossible not to
notice how disgruntled we were, she finally took two of us aside and
confided that it had been a tough time financially (must have spent too
much on the new cars and political donations) and that bonuses would be
coming at the beginning of the year, just weeks away. She also apologized
for her behavior preceding the holiday and thanked us for the gift. Not
only did we not receive a bonus, we also found out that she gave the
wallet we had given her to her daughter as a present!

I guess we should have figured out that she doesn't enjoy celebrating
anything but herself. After years of birthday celebrations for the
employees, she declared at one of our birthdays, during the celebrations,
that it was getting out of hand. We had celebrated the same way for each
employee for years, but now it was getting out of hand?! Mind you, our
"celebrations" consisted of us eating lunch at the office and
giving presents and birthday cake. We are all entitled to an hour for
lunch and often eat together. She proceeded to say that we will only
celebrate HER birthday from now on, with the obligatory cake that one of
the employees bakes for her and we used to only buy her presents. Needless
to say, we barely put together a make-shift card for her when her day
rolled around.

The icing on the cake came when her troubled son returned home after
graduating from college. He was unable to find a job and couldn't keep the
temp jobs he was assigned, so "Kathleen" decided that he would
work at the office. He was struggling with a prescription drug addiction
and would often pass out at his desk or act erratically. We were expected
to turn a blind eye to this behavior and continue work as usual. This
became especially difficult when she started pairing us together on
projects. Not only was he completely out of it, he also had no
understanding of how we did business, as he studied a completely different
subject in college. He was rude and embarrassing to the clients, when he
was with it enough to talk to them. And he would take all the credit for
work that I had done!

She later demanded that I act as a reference for him when he was trying
to get a job. I had to lie and say that he not only worked with us for a
much longer time than he actually did, but I had to say that he was a
great employee...all while she stood in my office and listened in on the
call.

One might ask why someone would work at a company like this for almost
five years? Not sure, but I am so glad to be rid of that hideous woman and
her totally unethical business practices! Thanks for letting me vent!

BadBosses0722-04

Love your website--great job, keep it up! I'm usually a reader of your
site, not a writer, but with this, I was so incensed I could scream.

Once upon a time, I had my quarterly performance evaluation.

Naturally, it was timed the day before I went on a well deserved
holiday. Much to my surprise, things actually went well--my supervisor has
been h*ll on wheels/superb*tch since she had been elevated to the
management clique, so I was expecting to get slammed. I also flinched
at the thought of payback for daring to tell her that yes, she was
actually wrong on a matter (oohhh no, she did not take that well) a
couple of weeks before. It was bad enough that earlier that week I got
wind of her surmising whether I had gotten laid (I was communicating
with her because I'd had the weekend to calm down over her treating me
like a village idiot, not because of my sex life!). But it
was what she said at my eval that really got me.

To back up, though, for a brief background on what she is like, before
she ascended to management, she was almost everything one could
want in a supervisor, although she was famous for saying totally
inappropriate things when she chose to air her views...

Unfortunately, the management culture at this company brings out the
worst in people... she is now a past master of snarky comments,
invincible/always right in her views, and openly talks of
her shockingly inappropriate opinions/positions, as well as showing an
extremely rude insensitivity when anyone has personal problems--such as
saying that a co-worker that had a horrific late-term miscarriage 'should
have closed her legs in the first place.' Even people who were closer to
her than I and had worked with her longer wondered what's wrong with her.
I think you see what I am getting at.

Back to the eval--like I stated previously, it actually went better
than I thought, although it was strained. At the end, however, she threw
her snarky-dart: "You need to have a child to change your perspective
on things."

Needless to say, my jaw was on the ground. Because I was determined to
NOT get p*ssed off, I just smiled insincerely and left. I tried not to
think about it during my vacation and failed. This was beyond the pale as
far as I was concerned! How dare she "advise" me of something so
personal? Maybe she needs to get laid and is just jealous, but I
don't air my opinions in her fashion. I should have gone to HR, but I
didn't--the rep was out anyway. I needed out to my holiday or I was going
to kill her. Such cheek! Cripes!

In the end, I resigned two weeks later--I had had enough of her crap.

BadBosses0731-04

My first job after leaving university was as a 'research officer' for
an employers association. [I put that in inverted commas because I
actually ended up doing the payroll, accounts and switchboard because the
boss couldn't decide what he wanted researched]. My boss had been with the
association since God was a boy and was extremely paternalistic about the
whole thing. There were only 12 employees, but we still had a tea-lady,
who had to take her trolley around to each desk morning and afternoon to
make tea or coffee - the rest of the day she tried to make herself busy
with washing up and re-arranging the china-ware (not surprisingly, there
was a fairly high turnover in this particular job). One tea-lady suddenly
found out that she was pregnant - the boss called her into his office to
give her a very stern 'fatherly' lecture and to tell her that she
absolutely should have an abortion as she had a 'duty to the her career'
not to take maternity leave (remember, this is the tea-lady).
Thankfully, she was a woman who wasn't intimidated and told him where to
stick his job. I fell foul of him with my personal habits - he didn't like
the perfume that I wore to work one day! As it was an expensive one, I
used it very sparingly and had often been told how nice it smelt on me.
But, he didn't like it and I was told in no uncertain terms that I mustn't
wear it again as he preferred more flowery scents (AAARRGGHHH!!!). To top
it all off, every female in the office had to call him 'Sir' or 'Mr.
Jones', while every male employee, right down to the 15-year-old working
in the copy-room got to call him 'Dave'. I lasted just over a year before
I found another job, which I love.

BadBosses1102-04

I work in a cafe that is owned by an older couple; their adult
daughter, "Melinda," is one of the managers. Melinda's
mother "June" is notorious for being an unreasonable and pushy
person to work for, and all of us cafe workers dread the days when she is
around the store doing her version of supervising, which is basically
trying to tell us how to do our jobs and complaining that we don't do
enough when we are already pretty swamped with her silly requests, not to
mention attending to the customers!

One day, my coworker called in sick and so the adult daughter,
Melinda, came in to work behind the counter with me. It is
unofficial store policy that when this happens, Melinda will not take any
of the tips made during the shift, as she is a manager, and makes a higher
wage than us, and she is just there to help out when it gets busy.
Melinda's husband is also pretty well-off and her parents own the cafe;
it's not like she is ever wanting for anything. This
particular day, June decided that we probably couldn't handle it alone or
something and she showed up too, mostly to be in the way and order me
around a lot. At the time of this incident I was living with
my boyfriend, who was out of a job, and the two of us were just barely
scraping by on my cafe salary plus the dear, precious tips, which would
amount to about forty dollars after a busy morning. Usually this was
split between the two employees. On this day, with my coworker gone
and Melinda helping out, I knew I would probably get all of the tips and I
was grateful because our electricity was about to be turned off and I
thought a forty-dollar payment would keep it on. It was an
especially busy day and I worked my tail off, and so did Melinda, so at
the end of the shift I asked if she wanted part of the tips, because she
had helped an awful lot. She asked for ten bucks to fill up her gas
tank. I, who had forgotten what a full tank of gas felt like, still
gladly gave her the ten bucks and then went to clock out with the
remaining thirty or so. At this point June stopped me and eyed the
tips in my hand and said coldly, in a nasty voice, "Did you split
your tips with Melinda?" I told her I had offered to, and that
Melinda had asked for part of them, and I had given them to her; at which
point June said "Good, because you know, she has three boys at home
to support!" I came THIS CLOSE to telling her to go
Something herself, that she owns her own business and her daughter is rich
and she pays her a ridiculous salary and she pays me minimum wage, and it
is NOT policy for managers to split tips but I had been nice enough to
offer to do so anyways, and that I had myself plus my boyfriend (both of
us college students) to support and that my paying my electricity with
money I had rightfully earned was more important than her precious
daughter having a full tank of gas in her SUV. Instead, I just
walked away. Unfortunately, I'm still employed there; it's been
three years without a raise, and because I've been there so long I know
more than the other employees and I'm an unofficial supervisor; I do all
the cleaning and work every single day and still receive no title, no real
money, and no respect. Sigh.

BadBosses0817-04

After getting laid-off from my position as a Billing/Coding Specialist
for an independent mental health agency I was desperate for work and
applied for a job as an Auditor for a local, but well known, hotel in our
area. A few days after my application they contacted me to inform me that
the Auditor's position had been filled but if I was interested they had
positions open in their Dining/Lounge departments, they intimated that
over time I could be promoted out of this dept. into front-desk or
back-office work. I accepted the position. I soon began work as a
bartender/server in the Lounge, and much to my surprise I made very good
money doing so this was a high-end hotel, saturated with history that
catered to business professionals and organizations, therefore tips were
huge).

After 6 months I was informed that the Auditor's position was once
again available, and if I was interested it was mine. I accepted the new
position because I felt that the years I had spent in college were being
wasted slinging drinks and food. As part of my new position I was given a
pay raise, an in house expense account (for food and such), and an office.
I was also given a new set of supervisors. My new supervisors consisted of
the hotels comptroller and for some reason the front-desk supervisor (as
near as I can tell she was made my supervisor because my work required me
to be at the front desk the majority of the time {all hotel cash and
receipts were received there} and because of the nature of my work I
needed to know how to check people in and out etc..).

From then on I was put on the front-desk schedule and if I needed days
off or vacation I went through this supervisor (I will call her Hell-en).
Here are a list of things that Hell-en did to me: 1)Since she
was in charge of my schedule she deemed it okay to assign me to shifts in
the restaurant/lounge as needed. Because of this whenever a person needed
vacation or personal time rather than find another server/bartender to
cover them they called Hell-en who was more than happy to put me down,
without asking me. At one point she had me scheduled for almost a straight
24 hour period between three departments. My schedule was to be work my
shift as auditor from 11pm to 7am, go into a five hour serving shift from
7am to 12 noon get off two hours then go into a six hour bartending shift
from 2 pm to 8pm and then begin my shift as auditor again at 11pm. When I
brought this to her attention she laughed and said "Your young, you
can do it" when I continued to buck the idea she let me off from my
auditor shift at 5 am and gave me a free hotel room to sleep in for the
day between my shifts. What a gal!

2)I was in a car accident (not my fault) one morning on my home from
work that ended up with me in the ER(for some stitches ) I called her from
the ER to tell her (with over 12 hours notice) that I would not be in for
work that night as I was pretty banged up. She was upset and said she had
no idea if she could find someone on such short notice, when I mentioned
that if all else failed she could cover my shift she went crazy and hung
up on me. I ended up not going into work that night (she did cover the
shift) but upon my arrival the next day she wanted proof of my accident
and subsequent ER reports despite the fact that I had visible bruises and
stitches.

3) I requested my anniversary off and she granted it to me only to call
me on my cell phone in the middle of my anniversary dinner to ask me to
come in anyway.

4)And finally , the proverbial straw, was when my beloved nephew (age
8) whom I loved like my own child suddenly died I was understandably
distraught, and I went to her to tell her that I needed time off, she was
on a rant about the hotel manager not allowing her to have a weeks unpaid
vacation to go on a cruise that her DH had won, I waited until she was
done and tearfully told her what had happened, she looked at me and
without even a word went on with her rant about a missed vacation . I
began job hunting that day. But Hell-en had not had her last. I did find
another job and I kindly gave her 6 weeks notice, she waited until the
week before I left to hire someone, and this person had no financial sense
and was not even able to grasp how to use our multi-line phone system much
less balance accounts for a hotel. I did my best training my
replacement, but this person was not able to grasp the job. When I
left I told Hell-en that they would need more training which she
apparently took as me volunteering. Because she called me at home, on my
cell and even at my new job to ask when I could come in for more
training, when I told her I couldn't she said "But I figured it out
for you, you can work with Dummy on training from 11pm to 3am and
then go home and sleep and be fine for your new job at 8am" I hung up
on her.

BadBosses0910-04

My part-time jobs in college made me dread working and supervisors. One
job was at an amusement park and I worked in “Guest Relations” where
we were responsible for helping the guests in many ways, but normally our
most important job was taking care or unhappy guests. We had several
methods of trying to please the guest, from discounts and vouchers for
free meals to a refund of their admission price. In this sort of position
there are no set rules per say, you just do what you need to, to please
the guest. One of my “supervisors” was a girl a little younger than
me, all of about eighteen. Despite her young age, she knew everything, was
always right, and liked to micro-manage. After being fussed at her many
times for not doing things the way she would have, I finally starting
running almost everything past her before I acted. This annoyed her and
she took to exclaiming “Use your god-given brain to figure it out for
yourself!” whenever I asked her a question. However, that didn’t stop
her from complaining about the decisions I made using my “god-given
brain.”

I did do one thing to make her happy. I was scheduled to work early one
morning and I let her know as soon as I found out that my boyfriend (who
was in the military) would be leaving that morning for quite a while and I
would like to take him to the airport, but that if I did so it would make
me about half an hour late for work, She said ok, and so I came in that
morning about half an hour late to find that I had already been written up
for my tardiness. I was surprised, but I just noted on the write-up that I
thought that by letting her know I needed to be late that I had done what
I was supposed to. She may have grown up since then, but she was a pain to
work with then!

I had another scheduling issue at another college job. I was waiting
tables and had told the interviewing manager that I had some night classes
and wouldn’t be able to work on those nights. He said it was no problem
and I wasn’t scheduled for those nights. A couple of months later my
name showed up to work on my school nights. I let the manager on shift,
“Jane,” know about the problem. She shrugged and said it was my
responsibility to find someone to cover for me. Luckily another server,
“John,” heard us talking and approached me about taking the hours, as
he had almost no hours that week. We were both happy to change the
schedule. Later that week after John had worked my shifts the Jane
approached me about giving my hours to John and said that he had not been
given many hours for a reason and I had no right to give him mine.
Evidently management wasn’t happy with his performance but instead of
firing him they were just going to take away his hours until he gave up
and left on his own. Wouldn’t it have just made more sense for Jane to
decide who she wanted to “cover” for me? And why didn’t anyone have
the guts to tell poor John why he was suddenly not getting hours?

I'm happy to say that I work at a wonderful place now with nice and
understanding people.

BadBosses0812-04

Dear Jeanne: I love your site, and have a rude bosses story for you. I
used to work for a small company (and by small, I mean six people). The
owner's daughter worked there as my direct supervisor. Shall I say that
both father and daughter were more than a little etiquette impaired. The
one incident that left me speechless was the time I woke up sick. I called
the office, got the daughter on the phone and told her I was sick and
could not make it to the office that day. She asked me to hold, got her
father who got on the phone and said, "Yeah, can you be here by
noon?" My jaw was on the floor at that point. Not that I needed to
respond, since my boss had made it abundantly clear during the time I
worked for him that neither he nor his daughter had any comprehension of
other people's needs. The kicker is that I was there by 11:45, and worked
until 9 that night without a break. Where do these people come from?

BadBosses1126-04

Here is my boss from hell story...... I worked for a small
law firm and one of the partners was fairly young and quite impressed with
himself. He also tended to be quite demeaning towards the staff in
general. On more than one occasion he has made remarks/statements
that bordered on sexual harassment, but one particular incident stand
out in my mind. This being when he bought a ridiculously expensive
desk and credenza for his office. He would not be in the office when
it was to be delivered, but charged me, as his secretary, to make sure it
was placed properly. However, in order for it to go where he wanted
it, other very heavy items would have to be moved at an additional charge,
which he was too cheap to pay. So he calls me into his office and
after making sure I knew where he wanted everything, very seriously told
me that I needed to dress sexy, wearing something short and revealing to
show off my assets, and flirt with the movers so they would do his
rearranging for free! And just to make sure that his bases were
covered, he also asked our 17 year old high school intern to do the same
thing!

However, the beauty of this story was the guys were strictly business,
as was I, and when "Mr. Wonderful" called in to see how it was
going, I told him that they weren't interested in me or any of the other
girls. I then told him that I thought they might be gay and if he
were to come down and flirt a bit with them himself, I was sure they would
move mountains to make him happy. He got very flustered, asked to
borrow money from me to pay them to move his stuff and hung up very
quickly. Needless to say, I decided it was time for a change of jobs
after that assignment!

BadBosses1125-04

I have two stories for the bad bosses page. The more I read these things
the more memories return that I thought I'd squashed.

Story No. 1: I worked for three miserable weeks at a drive-up
restaurant in a big city. My only excuse for TAKING the job was we only
had one car at the time and it was within walking distance.

My job was carhop, oh, joy, but the back-up cook quit and I somehow got
"promoted" to that position. It was maybe 50 cents an hour more.
These two older women -- older than I was then -- had come
factory-installed so they thought they owned the joint and were imperious
to the max. Neither one was terribly dainty in her personal habits, not
good for a restaurant, but if they'd shown some concern for customers it
wouldn't have been so bad.

My first time on back-up cook duty we got an order for our specialty
sandwich and when I went to the freezer to get the meat, it was GREEN.
Seriously. Not a spot here and a spot there. The whole patty was GREEN. I
said to Woman No. 1, "We can't use this, it's spoiled." She said
oh, yes, we could, deep-frying it would "sterilize" it. (!!!!!)
I argued, but she and Woman No. 2 ganged up on me and got very nasty and
threatening and I needed the job so I gave in and cooked the stuff. I
never ate another bite there myself, though, I can tell you THAT.

Story No. 2: I was working in a head shop (they were still marginally
legal then) that also sold pipe tobacco and fancy pipes and T-shirts and
various items like that. The boss/owner fancied himself a Big Important
Dude and played keyboard in a band so he also thought he was Mr. Sexy. He
loved to tell us girls (all his clerks were girls, preferably early 20s)
filthy jokes, sometimes in front of customers. Sigh. That wasn't his worst
fault. He decided to go back to college and because he knew I was good at
writing, he asked/ordered me to write one of his research papers for him.
Not just type it. Not even correct his errors. He wanted me to do the
whole thing! Again, I needed the job and he let me do this on work time
(wasn't that generous of him) so I did it, but I've kicked myself ever
since. "He" got an A.

One day we got an order of merchandise that had come without the
customary packing slip. Because they were items we'd stocked ever since
I'd worked there (I'd been there a couple of years at this point), I went
ahead and priced them at the same price we'd always charged. After we'd
already sold about half of this stuff, he came barging in one day and
simply REAMED me for the prices (in front of customers and a co-worker).
Seems the vendor had raised the prices considerably and we were selling
them under cost at our usual price. Well, how was *I* supposed to know
that? There hadn't been a packing slip, he hadn't said anything to me (the
warehouse was my responsibility -- unpacking, pricing and stocking) and
this was a good week or two after the stuff had arrived! This man had
turned nearly all of the day to day business over to his assistant and me
(he even had me learn to sign his name to checks!) and only showed up
sporadically to even make sure his stores were still THERE.

So I snapped. He and I had a frank exchange of views there in front of
the customers and the co-worker, with many a naughty word and even, at one
point, me totally losing it and kicking a chair over. LOL

BadBosses0703-04

I work at a satellite location of a community college. Our site
is located in a building with several other state government agencies.
Several years ago the local chamber of commerce chose our site to
host a luncheon for a state Commissioner to present his new economic plan
to local leaders. We were extremely honored because we are located
in a very remote part of our state and worked for several weeks in
conjunction with the chamber of commerce and the other agencies in our
building to prepare for the Commissioner's visit. We invited the
upper administration of the college to be present at the luncheon. The
President was not available, but two Vice Presidents planned to attend.

The day of the luncheon arrives and everything is going exactly as
planned…except our VPs have not arrived when lunch begins. They
arrive almost an hour late, they had stopped to make a tee time at a local
country club. We were serving a buffet style lunch and they were
very disruptive while preparing their plates of food. During the
remainder of the Commissioner's speech the VPs laugh, giggle, and talk to
each other like school-boys. Then they proceed to leave early
without speaking to the Commissioner. They had to get back to the
country club for their tee time. My supervisor and I were appalled
and embarrassed by their behavior. In retrospect we were glad they
had not introduced themselves to the Commissioner, he had no way of
knowing which organization they were supposedly representing and we did
not care to enlighten him.

BadBosses0812-04

My Dad had been sick for several years and his passing would happen any
day. Everyone I worked with, and the bosses, knew all about it. The
company I worked for at the time had no funeral or bereavement policy,
even though it was a large and respected company. It happened, my Dad
died, and I took off 5 work days to plan, attend the funeral and be with
my Mom. The very day I returned to work, the funeral policy was announced.
The controller of the company announced it at a meeting and I said out
loud "Do I get paid for the bereavement I just had, the 5 days
off?" She got a look on her face like a dog that has just crapped on
the carpet and said no, because the policy was not announced until after I
had returned to work. I yelled "I think that really stinks!" I
had been through a lot the past week, and yelling that out at a employees
meeting-- well I just was not in the mood to care. But no one said a word
more, all the higher-ups just stood around watching me, with glassy smiles
on their stupid faces.

BadBosses0801-04

I had a boss who wouldn't speak to me.

As near as I can tell, he was painfully shy. He was a very attractive
man (and knew it -- which wasn't consistent with shyness), but he hated to
talk to employees. One day, a co-worker was walking from his cubicle to
mine, as we were going to lunch together. I see him stick his head into
the boss's cubicle and chat for 2-3 minutes. I am shocked. I have never
seen the boss have what is clearly an informal, friendly chat with anyone,
much less my friend who is almost as nerdy as the boss. My friend is
outside the cubicle, so I can see his reactions, and he isn't acting like
this is a work discussion. My jaw is hanging down. When he gets down the
hall to me, I ask him what the boss wanted. He says "Oh, I wasn't
talking to our boss. X (another colleague from out of town) is using the
boss's cubicle as a temporary office, and I talked to him". So the
boss kept his record of never chatting with employees.

At another time, his secretary asked me if he had talked to me. I told
her I didn't think I had talked to him in 3-4 months, but I couldn't be
sure how long it had been, what was he supposed to have talked to me
about? Well, the company had given me stock options about 2 months before,
and someone (possibly her) had told him that this time he had to go to the
employee, shake their hand, give them the letter personally, and thank
them for their contribution. He kept telling her he would do it (and
apparently had told her it was done, but she was suspicious), but in 2
months, he hadn't been able to bring himself to take the 1 minute it would
take to talk to me. Luckily, I got her to give me the paperwork, so that I
could officially accept the stock options I didn't know I had.

He later got a sales job where he had to make cold calls on prospects.
I never figured out how he decided to apply for such a job or how he was
able to do it without it causing himself pain.

BadBosses1111-04

My direct boss has gotten to comfortable in his position, He has a
nickname for everyone in the office. From the CEO to VPs to his direct
employees. A couple weeks ago I stopped into his office as other mangers
at my level in the department where chatting with him. One of the other
managers mentioned to me, " After your morning are you going to go
out for drink?" I had a few issues with a server that were a
little stressful but I had it under control. I responded, "No, my
wife is having some friends over for a get together." My boss
responds, "You are such a metrosexual, your wife sure has you by the
balls." I walked out and went home. Once I was at home I called the
VP of Human Resources and filed a harassment claim against my boss - that
ass!

BadBosses1216-04

My boyfriend (lets call him Joe) worked for a company for
about 14 years. It is a construction company and the owner was his
best friend's (since 3rd grade) father ( we'll call him Big J).
Being a man in his 30's Joe became tired of only working part time,
he would request to get more hours and Big J would say no problem I
promise you 4 days a week. That would usually appease him and he
would get the hours for 2 or 3 weeks, then he would be laid off for 3
weeks! This went on for probably 2 years so finally in October Joe
said I am going to look for a new job after the new year. Big J was
really nice about it, and said no problem. Fast forward to February,
Joe got the call from the new job and he was able to start the next day
since he was laid off, big surprise, from Big J's company. So after
a week of working forthis new company he went to Big J
and turned in his keys. Big J was surprised but said, no hard
feelings, shook Joe's hand and said good luck.

Fast forward to July. Big J owns a cabin on a nearby island
so Big J's son had invited us out there, as he had done many times.
( We had actually been there 3 weeks before when Big J was out of town and
helped do remodel work for a full day free. ) Us going out to the
beach cabin was always welcome until this day. Big J's son mentioned
that we were coming over the night before to go diving and Big
J. said, "Well, uninvited them". So come the next day
we load everything up in the truck for a day of fun and while we were
waiting in the ferry line we got the call, " Joe we have a problem
over here, but come over anyway. " Well, the ferry line looked
like about a 2 hour wait so we wanted to find out what this problem was.
So Big J's son told the story about how we were un-invited, and that Joe
was an ungrateful SOB,and a traitor and is not welcome
on any of Big J's properties. This made Big J's son very angry and
he stood up for his best friend saying that he had done nothing wrong.
In defending Joe, Big J's son was also banned from all properties for the
summer. Joe and I turned around feeling bad that things had become
such a mess and wondering how someone that had said no hard feelings could
consider Joe a traitor.

Anyway almost a year later Joe is not welcome on Big J's property
which is okay, but Big J and his son do not really talk anymore because
his son "Needs to grow up and see where his loyalties should
lie." Hmmm, that one is a real thinker. This is why
you should not work for a friend or their family.

BadBosses1209-04

Dear Ms. Hamilton: I have read and re-read the pages of
Etiquettehell.com repeatedly, eagerly awaiting every new installment. In
fact, reading the Wedding Hell section helped me tremendously when
planning my own blessed event. However, my submission falls under the
Business Hell section.

Last year, my fiancé and I moved across the country because he
was changing careers, and required training in his new field. I had
recently graduated with a degree in Elementary Education, and was seeking
employment in the field of education. Unfortunately, the city to which we
had moved was experiencing a major decline in hiring teachers, especially
freshly-out-of-school teachers. The only work I could find was with a
daycare center that housed both a preschool and a before- and after-school
program. I was hired immediately, due to my credentials, and set to work
in the latter. My job included writing curricula for the program,
which I eagerly set forth doing. I was hired to work from 6.55-9am, then
from 2.30-6pm. In the beginning, I wrote all the curricula from home,
putting in many hours for which I didn't even think to be paid. This is
how teachers normally work; you prepare at home for work you do in the
classroom. Eventually, my boss told me that I should be"billing"
those hours I spend writing curricula. As I was only working 27.5 hours a
week, and not earning much from those 27.5 hours, I decided to
"bill" those hours. Furthermore, my boss, knowing I was
constantly short of money (27.5 hours a week does not equal a large
salary, especially in education), told me that any time I wanted to earn
more money, I could help out in the office, doing clerical work. I also
made myself available to help out in the preschool, whenever needed.

I should probably interject with some more description of my working
environment. My boss, *Nicole*, was fantastic. She was highly
professional, and a joy with whom to work. After she resigned (to spend
more time with her baby), she told me she did not like working at that
place. She had been professional enough to keep this information
to herself when she was working there. She kept a professional distance,
yet was warm at the same time. She would ask me how my wedding planning
was going, and would give me advice, as she was a recent bride. I was very
sad to see her leave.

My second boss, Nicole's Assistant Director, was not such a good
boss. She (we'll call her *Alice*) constantly conducted her personal
business at work, using the office phone and the office computer for this.
(She used the office phone to discuss her child-care needs with her
sister, friends, mother, and anyone else. She used the office computer to
seek other employment, and she used it as a dating service, eventually
finding her boyfriend on some internet dating site.) All in all, I would
conject this woman spent a grand total of two hours a week doing actual
work. When I was hired, and asked to write the curricula, Alice told
me she had been writing all the curricula before I started working there.
She said (with a big sigh) that she was grateful to be able to offload
this job to someone else, as it really wasn't part of her job. Later, I
discovered that this was a big, fat lie.

Apparently, she had not been writing curricula at all before I worked
there; my predecessor was doing all of that. Alice figured that I would
never speak to my predecessor about this type of thing, so she was safe to
lie away! (My predecessor substituted, one day, for my co-worker. We got
to talking. I found out the truth.) Anyway, initially, I was rather
friendly with Alice. She sought me out constantly to talk about her
personal life. I mistook this as a sign of friendship. She was actually
just using me as a sounding board for her life, and, may I add, managing
to not work whilst talking to me. I never billed the hours she spent
whining about her life, wasting valuable hours of my time. Eventually, I
realized what was happening, and attempted to avoid her. She caught on
that I was avoiding her, and berated me for it! There are a few other
misdemeanors; but I won't bore you with them.

As I mentioned above, my main boss, Nicole, left work to spend time
with her baby. The woman who took her place is the person I wish to submit
to Etiquette Hell. (We'll call her *Jamie.*) From the start, Jamie
was very patronizing, using sarcasm as her main vehicle of communication.
(Example: "See the sign on the kitchen door? It says to keep it
closed at all times. Do you think you can do that? Do you?" My
co-worker and I had forgotten to close the door once. That happened to be
the one time she was present.) That first week, Jamie decided to
completely overhaul the office and our work schedules. As the boss, that
is her prerogative. She brought me into the office to reprimand me for
working too many hours! My schedule was reduced to only 5.25 hours a day.
My co-worker's hours were reduced from 3 hours to 2 hours. This made it
impossible for her to continue working there, as she was spending more
money on gas to get to work than she was earning. By the
way, my co-worker was informed of her schedule change on Friday afternoon
to take place effective Monday. She was also informed via an informal
discussion out on the playground. My co-worker, sadly, told work that
since her hours were being cut, she could no longer continue working
there, and the following Friday would be her last day. My co-worker and I
surmised that Jamie only wanted to project a positive budget in her first
quarter, and that was why our hours were reduced. My co-worker wrote
a letter to the parents, explaining that "schedule conflicts"
meant her last day of work would be Friday. Since her reduced hours meant
that she was no longer at work when most parents picked up their children,
I was left to explain the letter. My co-worker told me that, if parents
asked, I could tell them "the real reason" why she was leaving (i.e..
the reduced hours). I decided that I would jokingly refer to how much
money she was spending on gas to get to and from work, and
that was why she could not work there any longer. (That part of the United
States has extraordinarily-high gas prices, over 50 cents more per gallon than
the nationwide average.) I told this only to parents who asked, and I
tried to keep my tone light, and project both work and my co-worker in a
positive tone. (Remember, my hours were reduced, and I was not feeling
very positive about work, given my reduced hours and working conditions
with both Alice and Jamie. However, I tried very hard to NOT give away how
I was really feeling.)

On my co-worker's last day, Friday, I was called into the office
"on a very serious matter," as soon as I arrived at work. Jamie
launched into an attack on how "a parent" called to tell her
that I was saying my co-worker "was forced to resign because work had
cut her hours." She yelled at me about how unprofessional this was,
and that she was shocked I would act like this. She gave me an ultimatum
of "continue working, on probation, and if I catch you doing anything
else, you're fired" or "resign immediately, today." She
ranted for half an hour about how unprofessional I was. Never once did she
ask me for my side of this. She presumed the "parent" was
correct, and was willing to take that information over my side of the
story. I tried to explain that I had only spoken about how my co-worker
could not continue working there because she literally could not afford to
work there. I tried to explain that I had put the company in a positive
light, notbad-mouthing it, as I could have done. I tried
to explain that many of the children felt my co-worker was abandoning
them, and a better explanation was necessary. This all fell on deaf ears.
As Jamie's face was getting more and more red with yelling at me, I
decided to tell her that I would resign immediately. That done, Jamie then
decided to tell me that she was glad I was leaving because I "had not
given [her] a chance," and that she thought we did not get along. She
asked me to explain why. As I was resigning, I decided to be honest,
and tell her that I agreed with her; we did not get along. In the hour and
a half that I was stuck in that woman's office, she did not let me speak
once without interrupting me. It was horrible.

To add to this, the Big Boss and CEO, called the center to yell at
me about "being unprofessional" (regarding talking about why my
co-worker was leaving). Again, not once during that half hour tirade was I
asked for MY SIDE of the story!!! The CEO even admitted to me that she
didn't know the whole story, but regardless she was going to yell at me
anyway. The only positive thing I gleaned from being yelled at by the CEO
was that I discovered that the person who called the office to tell them I
was "spreading secrets" was, in fact, NOT A PARENT but was the
preschool teacher who is a very malignant person. So, all in all, the CEO
and Jamie were willing to believe the other teacher who heard part of
a conversation over my side of the story!!!

Ironically, I do agree, albeit partially, with the CEO and Jamie that I
should not have "spoken for my co-worker." However, I think it
is completely ridiculous as grounds for letting someone go. Perhaps I
should have let my co-worker's letter speak for itself, and remained
silent when parents questioned me about it. However, I felt it my duty to
inform the parents, and to keep a healthy dialogue between parents and
school. Sadly, my work record there of all the extra hours I put into that
place, all the extra work I did, and how much I actually cared about the
children was forgotten in a heartbeat over an issue that is really not
much of an issue.

Sincerely, Glad to be Gone.

BadBosses1031-04

I took a job at a family run business. David (the father) was the
general manager and Anna (the mother) was the office administrator. The
deal was that I would train with Anna for a few months, she would take a
semi-retirement and I would be the office administrator. Was I naïve? Yes
I was.

For the first 4 weeks Anna was the loveliest creature I could ever
imagine. Her generosity, her cheery nature, was second to none. I looked
forward to seeing her in the morning and could not for the life of me work
out why her workers in the factory attached to the office hated her with a
passion. I was convinced that they were the most ungrateful, horrible
people I had ever met (sure, it seemed a little odd – but she was SO
NICE) – how could they dislike such a lovely woman? Little did I
know….

The first thing that was a little odd was that I was banned from
communicating with the computer repairman. The computer system was old
& dodgy & prone to breaking down. One day I called him for some
advice and she became extremely annoyed – I figured she would relax
eventually. Ha ha.

In the following weeks a few other little odd things happened. I was
banned from using the internet, even for business purposes. She tried to
stop me leaving the office during my 30 minute UNPAID lunch break. I had
been taking the banking & post to the shops in her company car –
suddenly I was banned from using it – no explanation given. I came back
from lunch one day, she is standing by my computer demanding that I open
the files she can see on my computer desktop, as she has become convinced
that they are personal files. Of course, I opened them for her and they
were business related files. No apology was forthcoming from Anna. I could
go on. Nothing I did was quite right for her.

Anna & David had a blind poodle that came to the office every day
– I loved that dog, she was so sweet. One of my jobs was to take it for
a poo every afternoon. I actually preferred to be outside supervising the
dog doing a poo that be inside with Anna.

The main office was split into 2 rooms, with a large window in the
middle so that from her desk Anna could see my computer screen at all
times (fair enough), and a door that she could close for privacy. In her
room there was a huge cd player attached to a p.a. system so we could play
music in the office and factory. The cd player held 100 cds, mostly pan
pipes and organ music that Anna had chosen. The only speaker for the p.a.
system was directly over my desk. To hear the music in her office, Anna
needed to turn it up.

As a punishment, whenever Anna was angry with me, she would turn the
music up loud – so loud I couldn't think – and close her office door,
so she couldn't hear it. If I tried to make her turn the music down she
would get angry and insist that I was invading her privacy by coming into
her room to turn the music down. The only way I got it to stop in the end
was one day to say I was going home if she didn't turn it down. I
suggested that we could have the speaker moved to her office (David was
agreeable, he said it would be easy to move it) but she wouldn't hear of
it.

One day I had a headache. I mention I'm going to have a headache
tablet. Anna says "No, you're not, those are only for
EMERGENCIES". I said that I best go home to have one and left for the
day. There wasn't a thing she could do and didn't pull that one again.
(Strangely enough, my headache immediately cleared up once I left the
office and I had a lovely lunch with a friend).

The final straw looms closer. I finally get my booking date for an
operation – a personal operation – and as by this stage I've got
plenty of leave worked up I feel confident in saying I'll be available on
the date the clinic has given me. I could have taken this leave on sick
leave, but as I want to have some extra recovery time (an extra week) and
not rush back, I decide that holiday leave would be fine.

I approach Anna about taking leave. "What's it for?" she asks
me (none of her business). I hum & haw and say its personal. Finally,
I admit its for an operation. "What's the operation for?" she
asks. I tell her that really IS none of her business. "Well in that
case, you're not taking leave." I was dumbstruck.

In the next few weeks she snoops and presses to try to find out what I
need an operation for, reading my email, standing next to my desk if she
suspects I'm taking a personal call, even questioning my husband once. Her
stupid husband gets in on the act "What hospital?" (a clinic
actually) "But you're not sick" (you don't need to be on your
deathbed to need a little op). It was all so frustrating – it was NONE
OF THEIR BUSINESS.

In the past I had seen Anna gossip about other co-workers, even coming
to the decision one day that one of the factory workers was an alcoholic,
because he drank beer and he'd needed a sick day – obviously he must be
an alcoholic – I could never figure out how she came to these
conclusions. When another called in sick another day she bought the
newspaper and checked the Employment ads, convinced he hadn't come to work
because there must be a good job in the paper. Why would I tell these
people any of my personal business?

I pushed the date of the op back a month, hoping that they would be
reasonable. Now, I still could have taken sick leave but I was getting as
warped as they were – now it was on principle.

About 2 weeks before the op date, I am called into Anna's office. She
said she' d never had as much trouble with the computers as she'd had
since I'd been working in their business. She accused me of deliberately
"sabotaging" the computers. I could not believe my ears. Then
she tells me I will be having my lunch at 1pm today, not 12 noon. When I
ask why, she just says "Because I said so." No reason other than
to bug me – that was the last straw – no-one comes between me and my
food…a little tiny thing but that was it! I'd had it!

And so it was with great delight that I handed my 2 weeks notice of
resignation. And here's the best bit – Anna cried! And David begged me
to stay! A few days before I left, Anna told me tearily that I was the
best secretary they'd ever had and wouldn't I reconsider my decision.

I told her no. I'd rather be unemployed. Ha ha ha! I lasted 9 months at
that job, the girl who replaced me last 4 months. I've never been so happy
to leave a job. Since I've left I've actually run into Anna at the shops
twice, said hello and had a nice conversation. You got to be sorry for a
person like that because she must have mental problems to be such a cow
and there's nothing to be gained by being awful to her. My op was
successful and I love my new job.

BadBosses1102-04
Here's a story for your "Bad Bosses" category.

I work for a very large US corporation in a regulatory/compliance
function. You would think that working in this particular capacity would
require you to be above board and totally ethical regarding the work
place. Several years ago, I had a manager who was probably the most
unethical and immoral manager I've ever worked for. His employees
(including myself) were often required to go seminars or conferences, with
registration fees, hotel expenses, and airfare paid by our company. One
day "Bad Boss" said, "You know, I think about this stuff
all the time and I know you do too. I know I think about it at night too
and I think you do. So as far as I'm concerned, if you want to come into
the office and only work one hour and just go home, that's okay, because I
know you think about this stuff all the time. And don't worry about
recording any exceptions in the time keeping system. And as far as I'm
concerned, when you sign up to go to conferences or seminars paid for by
the company, I think you probably know just as much about the subject
matter as the people holding the conference, so just register and sit in
the back of the room and after an hour or so, just leave. Then go
sightseeing and enjoy a couple of days of paid vacation courtesy of the
company!" This would be considered both time keeping fraud and
fraudulent use of company funds, but he never seemed to have a problem
with it, mainly because he would do these things himself. While some of my
coworkers agreed with his philosophy, I never even thought about doing
what he was suggesting. Eventually, it got so bad working for him (aside
from being unethical, he was also just plain stupid and made dangerous
decisions) that I had to leave a job I loved and was good at just because
of "Bad Boss".

All of this time keeping fraud and fraudulent use of company funds was
brought to the attention of our Ethics and Security departments, but this
guy just lied about what he was doing and said he never ever told his
employees to do this. The investigators believed him and didn't even slap
his hands.

What was particularly upsetting to me was the fact that I was passed
over for his position when it was advertised, even though I was much more
qualified and had more experience and education in the field. He knew
nothing about this particular area of regulatory law, but he was good
buddies with our Chief General Counsel so that's how he got the job. That
and I am female and the company I work for just doesn't promote women
much. That is probably why they were recently sued in a class action law
suit for gender discrimination relative to hiring practices, salary and
promotional opportunities (the suit settled the night before the trial
date!).

Several years later "Bad Boss" got his particular business
unit in so much trouble (including potentially criminal trouble) with the
U.S. Government that he was "removed" from the position. He
wasn't fired, just put somewhere else where he could do no harm (which is
nowhere as far as I'm concerned). But I'm sure he wasn't fired because
he's buddies with our Chief General Counsel! Nepotism is alive and well!!!