Help with my gf please? :D

Been with my girlfriend for about 8 months now, we've been having sex and I havent uhm..managed to get her to "G spot orgasm" yet..
Also, she said she thinks it might be because she hasn't ever had an orgasm caused by anyone else before.. I've tried oral, fingers over clit etc and still failed to achieve orgasm, she tried herself in my presence but it took "longer than usual"..
But anyway, to get an orgasm for a girl, is it more or less the same as what it is with lads to get an orgasm? Is it that you need to be going full on hard, fast to get there.. Or would keeping it fairly slow but prolonging the sex for a while which would help achieve orgasm?
Thanks.

VerifiedGold Member

But if its advice that you want I would tell you not to worry about the g spot. In fact don't worry about orgasms. Worry about relaxing with your partner. "Make love". Don't "have sex". Have dinner, talk, caress, massage brush her hair, cuddle, let things go naturally, you need to spend time on a dozen other errogenous zones for a long time before you start worrying about g spots. Making love isn't a mechanical process that has instructions. It is an intimate communicative exchange between two people who care for one another. Its not about the orgasm. It is first and foremost about the bond that you have with her. If you are keeping score you already lost. The cool thing is that if you both just enjoy the ride, chances are that she will have that orgasm.

Been with my girlfriend for about 8 months now, we've been having sex and I havent uhm..managed to get her to "G spot orgasm" yet..
Also, she said she thinks it might be because she hasn't ever had an orgasm caused by anyone else before.. I've tried oral, fingers over clit etc and still failed to achieve orgasm, she tried herself in my presence but it took "longer than usual"..
But anyway, to get an orgasm for a girl, is it more or less the same as what it is with lads to get an orgasm? Is it that you need to be going full on hard, fast to get there.. Or would keeping it fairly slow but prolonging the sex for a while which would help achieve orgasm?
Thanks.

Gold Member

But if its advice that you want I would tell you not to worry about the g spot. In fact don't worry about orgasms. Worry about relaxing with your partner. "Make love". Don't "have sex". Have dinner, talk, caress, massage brush her hair, cuddle, let things go naturally, you need to spend time on a dozen other errogenous zones for a long time before you start worrying about g spots. Making love isn't a mechanical process that has instructions. It is an intimate communicative exchange between two people who care for one another. Its not about the orgasm. It is first and foremost about the bond that you have with her. If you are keeping score you already lost. The cool thing is that if you both just enjoy the ride, chances are that she will have that orgasm.

But if its advice that you want I would tell you not to worry about the g spot. In fact don't worry about orgasms. Worry about relaxing with your partner. "Make love". Don't "have sex". Have dinner, talk, caress, massage brush her hair, cuddle, let things go naturally, you need to spend time on a dozen other errogenous zones for a long time before you start worrying about g spots. Making love isn't a mechanical process that has instructions. It is an intimate communicative exchange between two people who care for one another. Its not about the orgasm. It is first and foremost about the bond that you have with her. If you are keeping score you already lost. The cool thing is that if you both just enjoy the ride, chances are that she will have that orgasm.

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You make it sound more like work than sex. I. All for my so having an orgasm but that's unrealistic.

Gold Member

I found it varies from one to another, and also if she's tense, uncomfortable, etc, she may not orgasm, or quite enjoy.
Try also turning her mind of, not just the body.
One story that lives fondly in my memory is an ex GF who we spent the day doing things and during the day I said how she looks nice here and there, hold hands and kissing, nothing sexually said.
She is a very sexual woman. Anyway that evening I gave her a long full body massage to relieve her soreness and tension accumulated then the massage became more intimate.
Once done it was more like slow stimulation of her vagina and clit.
She grabbed me and since all I was doing for about an hour was massaging I was only hard hard, barely got in her and she orgasmed immediately. THAT blew my mind as I never believed this could happened.
Well, myself orgasmed after the third stroke in her too LOL.
Tghe massage and orgasm took her tension away and she was all soft and good for bed after.