I’m so bored. I probably should go to sleep but I can’t. The sound of the CTG machine and the intermittent contractions – though not yet strong – is pretty distracting.

Part of me don’t want to document this journey yet but I know I’ll be too lazy/tired/busy/sleep deprived once baby arrives.

So I had my exam 3 days ago. It went ok but I cant say much. The last time I thought it went ok and had a good chance of passing but I didnt. So we’ll just wait and see.

Anyway, I felt like it was an achievement in itself not to go into labour before/during exam. My worst fear was that my waters would break in the middle of exam! Haha I even brought extra pants and heavy duty pads just in case. I’ve gotten SO huge and everyone kept saying I look like I’m going to pop anytime soon … so hence my fear.

Then on saturday, day after exam, we went to Legoland. ok so that may seem crazy looking back now – I’m 36 weeks, being huge, waddling and having a lot of pelvic pain. But do I deter it from having fun? NO! —- though by the end of the day, I was aching a lot and wishing I could jump into zayan’s stroller.

Yesterday we chilled out. M had bad migraine and we put off buying the crib for baby. I wanted to go to the shop today after M’s shift but he decided to do a locum.

So anywaaaaay this is when it might be TMI but hey you knew this was gonna be a labour story.

I was having dinner on the sofa and felt some watery discharge. But I was having watery discharge last few days – intermittent and brief – so I thought it was just another one of those. And then I stood up to wash my hands and then WOOSSSSHHHHH!

Like a bucket of fluid running down me.

And it wont stop! For minutes and minutes it wont stop!!! Then I didnt know what to do. zayan was preoccupied watching ipad and so I called my friend Louise, mother of 3. “Will it stop?? what do I do???” We ended up laughing a lot because neither of us had this experience. Both of us had our waters broken for us, so this was an entirely new experience.

I hung up, still unsure what to do. It won’t stop leaking and its not LEAK ok… its like continuous gushing of fluid. i dont want a trail of amniotic fluid all around my carpeted house!! Plusssss my phone abis tia battery!

Zayan eventually realised something was amiss. “Mama pee pee?”

I gave him instructions to get a towel and he eventually got it for me. Clever boy!! And some shoes for me (figured id rather have soaked shoes than my carpet). He still didnt get it when I told him to get my charger but its ok I eventually got it!!

Whilst waiting for mumtathil, I was waiting at the corner of our bedroom, near the phone charger. And the fluid didnt seem to stop coming out. zayan went ‘BLUEEEEE TOWELLLL’, which was actually hanging near me. Haha oh yehhh thank you Zayan!

haha zayan, zayan….

long story short, we’re in the hospital now. My contractions are few and far in between. I’m only 1 cm dilated so they’re gonna induce me.

I’m scared actually – of the whole birthing process. I havent really thought about it and having an emergency c section last time meant I didnt go into full blown labour and ‘missed out’ on it.

Oh well, as one of the ward clerks I used to work with said “You’ll just have to go through it somehow!”

To be continued…

love, me

Ps to those who are as blur as me, the amniotic fluid will just keep coming out!! Have plenty of towels around you and erm don’t laugh – that makes things worse.

PPS I was hoping now that my exam is over, I can finally give Zayan some ‘mama and him’ time. Kesian nda tia dapat. Sokay, Allah is the best planner. Mama love you, Zayan, and I’m sure you’re gonna love baby. what with all the kisses and hugs you give to my belly.