Princess-in-waiting isn't a real job, Kate

Six tiaras for £2.25, a pink, blue or lilac ballgown for £39.99 and a cardboard Princess stagecoach lunch box (the drink goes where the carriage is, the sandwiches where the footman sat) ... These discount Princess wares are available at the Middleton parents' exhaustive party accessory website, Party Pieces. Could it be that having parents who peddle little girls' princess fantasies for a living has got to Kate Middleton? She seems to have decided, Disney-fashion, that dressing up prettily and waiting to be a princess is an occupation in itself.

The Queen certainly seems to think it has. Apparently she has let it be known that she thinks Kate should get a full-time job, as the monarchy should be "modern" and set an example. Still industrious and public-spirited at 82, it's understandable that she is bemused by her grandson's girlfriend's Wag lifestyle. A day is said to include a workout in the Clarence House gym and a trip to her favourite Sloane Street hairdresser before hitting Boujis.

Fine for an airhead 20-year-old party girl hellbent on spending some vast inheritance, but you might suspect that a 26-year-old history of art graduate could be a little bored by this life as one long holiday.

Perhaps, like many in her age group, she simply doesn't know what to do. Nothing seems to have quite worked out so far. Four days a week at Jigsaw's head office in Kew obviously didn't appeal; and talk of assisting Mario Testino evaporated (can you see her standing on location somewhere for hours holding a light meter?).

If Kate is to shake off this old-fashioned and rather undignified image of a girl with nothing to do but wait for her prince, she must unearth a passion, or at least an interest in something other than helping out her parents with the odd picture for their website. In this sense, Diana was lucky, as she always wanted to work with children and the underprivileged.

Kate should ditch Boujis - no one can go out that late on a school night and drum up anything you could pass off as a full-time career to impress the sovereign granny-in-law. Art or photography in some capacity should lead somewhere. There's Christie's, where William's cousin, David Linley, is chairman; there's the Royal Art collection; perhaps she could do an MA in photography or help Snowdon with his archive. If all else fails, I'm prepared to offer her work experience on the picture desk of ES magazine (with the explicit understanding that in return we get first rights to the royal wedding pictures).