Aching Jokes

Funny Jokes

A gentleman travelled all the way from Islamabad to Karachi to have an aching tooth taken out. The Karachi dentist asked him,' Surely you have dentists in Islamabad? You did not have to come all this way to have your teeth attended to.'
'We have no choice. In Islamabad we are not allowed to open our mouths,' replied the man with the aching tooth.

After just having undergone a long and complicated operation, the patient kept complaining about a bump on his head and a horrible headache. Since his surgery had been an intestinal one, the nurse couldn't understand why he would be complaining about an aching head. Fearing that perhaps he may be suffering from some form of post-surgery shock, she decided to ask a surgeon in training about it."There's nothing to worry about, nurse," explained the surgeon in training. "He actually does have a bump on his head. Halfway through the operation we ran out of anesthetic."

The woman entered the room, and with a knowing smile teasing herfull lips, she sank into the comfort of the plush chair in the corner.The handsome stranger turned, having sensed her approach.Locking his steely grey eyes on hers, he moved slowly toward her, his experienced gaze measuring her, hypnotizing her with his softmurmurs of assurance.He sank to his knees before her and without a word, smoothlyreleased her from her constraining attire. With a sigh ofsurrender, she allowed his foreign hands to unleash her bare flesh.He expertly guided her through this tender, new territory, boldlytaking her to heights she had never dared to dream of, his movements deliberate, confident in his ability to satisfy her every need.Her senses swam. She was overcome with an aching desire that hadgone unfulfilled for so long. And, just as it seemed that ecstasywas within her grasp, he paused, and for one heart-stopping moment, she thought, "It's too big! - it will never fit!"Then, with a sudden more...

Top Ten Reasons To Work An Overtime Shift On The Weekend
10. Think of all the weight you'll lose from not getting to eat because of short staffing.
9. Think of the closeness you'll develop with you're co-workers after being knee-deep in Code 10's/Blues and Code "Browns".
8. Everyone is so frazzled, so next to them you look fabulous!
7. Think of what a challenge it will be to your nursing skills to run a Code without a Crash Cart because they are all down in Central being replaced.
6. The joy of having the previous shift's charge nurse tell you, " I don't understand why no one would return my calls to work today/tonight. Oh, and by the way, you are short two nurses and a CNA for this shift with a full house of patients sick as dog dirt."
5. Because you're a new grad and you want to be a "TEAM PLAYER" like your head nurse told you to be. (That and you have "sucker" stamped on your forehead!)
4. When you go home more...