Sunday, July 31, 2011

change

so change is the constant of life. . . some changes force growth and you get growing pains. this has been a crazy time of my life. i am on a roller coaster. maybe i should go on a roller coaster tomorrow. . . it's my birthday. 32 years i have been walking and breathing on this planet.

i have created a few things, nothing blog ready yet. i did do a friendship bracelet sort of strap with a shell to hold my pant leg on my bike. it matched my outfit, it was rad.

in the last 3 weeks i have watched all the episodes of my so called life streaming on netflix. it took me back. it's been like 16 years since i watched those. . . when i was 16. that's crazy. . . i don't feel that old! i guess i kind of do when i take palmer to the pool and there are 17 year old life guards! that show had such great writing and it resonates with me on a very deep level. i wish i would have written more during that time of my life so i could remember. it was stressful too. i just moved here from oregon. i had had the same friends almost my whole life and there i was in a school that had the same population as the town i was from! it was a culture shock. there were so many kids i would walk in the halls against the wall head down, even when there were no kids in the hall! one day, i was walking down the hall with the bathroom pass walking with my head down and a baseball player who was pretty cute and a year older than me said, "what are you doing? why are you walking like that? walk out in the middle with your head up! push people out of the way!" and he showed me how. head up, chest out, strutting down the hall. i wasn't even aware of how i had been walking and just now thinking about why.

why was i? i was scared. why was i scared? it was new. i was unsure. i was unconfident. i did make friends and i did start to walk different. leaning on the wall maybe isn't the greatest support.

so now, for my birthday resolutions (it is a new year for me after all), i should add to this list. . . 32 before 33!1. let go of the things i don't need2. meditate daily3. practice self care4. clearly define and start expressing the vision for my business5. get organized6. make a piece of clothing7. do four 10 day fasts8. ride bikes as much as possible9. ride a horse10. visit seattle11. go somewhere i've never been before (palm beach for josh's wedding?)12. practice crafts13. volunteer14. get some tattoos. . . (i have at least 4 in my head right now)15. grow what i can where i'm at16. work on that children's book idea i have17. be present with palmer18. practice yoga regularly19. yoga teacher training20. study for GRE21. take pictures in commerce city (show?)22. study art with lee rose23. study massage with melanie russell24. journal regularly25. write more letters26. sing and dance regularly27. keep up spiritual practice and study28. save money29. eat as mindfully as possible30. be as authentic and honest as possible31. be as kind as possible32. SLEEP MORE. . .