Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Winter Olympics

As a fan of watching cold people fall down, I've really enjoyed this year's Winter Olympics. I came to a shocking realization last night, though... I've never participated in or even attempted a single winter sport in my life. I've lived in Utah for most of my life, a state that uses my car's license plate to advertise itself as the home of "the greatest snow on earth," yet I've never been skiing or snowboarding even once, and the closest I've come to ice skating was when I slipped on an icy patch coming out of Arby's several years ago. The fact that unexpectedly slipping on ice and nearly cracking my tailbone reminds me of a winter sport is a clear indication that winter sports are far too dangerous. In fact, until the Winter Olympics expand their list of sporting events to include driveway shoveling, snowman building, downhill sledding, figure slipping, freestyle parking-lot-donut-making, or using an old broom to brush snow off of a satellite dish (which is kind of like curling)... well, I don't want to completely count it out, but it's possible that I will never become a Winter Olympian.

I agree with the rest on that expression. Brilliant! When I ski my face is far from it. More like a poised tiger. Like a bipedal, clothed, hairless tiger.... without the fangs and stripes either. Actually it would have been better just to say that I don't smile. All the same, you have to go skiing. It is so much fun.

Classic post Mr. Lewis! It reminds me of the time I was walking down the sidewalk through six inches of fresh snow when the really hot chick right in front of me slipped and would have fallen flat on her back had I not been there to catch her. Too bad I was already married...or maybe thank goodness! She may have been crazy for all I know!Anyway, I really hope they make driveway-shoveling an olympic event; I would be a medal contender for sure!

Hi, Shane...Can I ask a BIG favor from you? A couple of years ago you did a drawing of a "Mountain Lion" which was uber-funny! Could you do a sequal to that drawing and do a "Mountain Gorilla"? I really LOVE apes!-Chris S.

I figure it one of two ways, either A) he's having the time of his life, or B) he's just realized that the kid from Slytherin House can't get out of the way in time, and is about to pounded bodily into a snowbank. I'm okay with either. All this time I thought Hogwarts was in England.