The Real Winners of the New York City Marathon Are These Insane People

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For some, running 26.2 miles that nobody is forcing you to run is enough of a feat. You could be doing literally anything else in the world — including sitting, sleeping, or standing in place — and you’ve chosen to run until you’ve reached the precipice of death. That’s impressive. But for others, running a plain old marathon just won’t suffice. This special breed wants to run a marathon while also wearing something incredibly uncomfortable-looking and/or non-aerodynamic. Or, they want to run a marathon while simultaneously performing some other kind of incredible physical skill, such as juggling, or dribbling twobasketballs.

It’s these people who were the real winners of the New York City marathon yesterday. Well, not the real winners. The real winner was a 120-pound Kenyan guy. But these people were a close second. Well, not second. Second was a 110-pound Ethiopian guy. Actually, some of these people probably didn’t even finish therace.

Elmo Guy:

Oscar the GrouchDude:

Some guy just ran by in an Oscar The Grouch costume complete with garbage can. No matter his time, I think he's won the marathon.