Thursday, January 24, 2013

Glass half-full (even if it's dirty, chipped, and cutting my lips)

In an effort to not become totally suicidal slightly forlorn, I have decided to focus on the good things about living in an apartment.

All three of them. Because there are many. Many, many good things.

For instance, I have firmly cemented the positive habit of making my bed every day. Mostly because, if I don't, you physically cannot walk through my bedroom with one or two pillows on the floor. There's just not room for the bed, the pillows, and me in this tiny space. Gone are the luxuriously lazy days of not making the bed at all until the Husband came home at night.

(You know we only make it half the time because they're going to see it and think we're lazy bums if we don't, right?)

Another positive lifestyle change is the increase in efficiency in the kitchen. I can literally stand in one spot, not have to lift my feet at all, and I can load the dishwasher, put away all the clean dishes, make dinner, and clean the kitchen. Think about this. From one spot, I can reach everything in my cupboards, drawers, and stove. With all the free time this has afforded me (no more walking, hooray!), it is a wonder that I have not found the time to cure cancer.

Cancer cure: Coming soon.

(Note to self: Learn how to cure cancer.)

A special treat that we've also recently discovered is the burst of freezing-cold water in the shower that comes if anyone so much as thinks about touching a faucet anywhere else in the apartment. It's like a wake-up call. Hey, you! You in the shower, enjoying yourself and relaxing. Wake up! You've got things to do! No time for conditioning rinses! Hurry up! Loving that part.

Also of note are the new cultures my kids are being exposed to on a daily basis. Like the next door neighbors, who seem to be home all day, every day, out on their back porch smoking weed hopefully just cigarettes. Teaching us, once again, that age-old lesson: Love thy neighbor anyway. (Or at least ignore them and keep your windows and doors shut tight.)

My favorite thing (legitimately) is that we can clean the place, top-to-bottom in about 13 minutes. That includes toilets, vacuuming, sweeping, dusting, and pick-up. Sure, it still looks pretty crappy, what with all the piles of stuff we have no place for, but it's clean. And I like that.

Also amazing is calling someone to come fix things and not having to pay a dime. The drawer in the bathroom broke because I filled it too full of hair and make-up products? Not my problem! Come fix it for me now! I love it. (Though I do wish the maintenance man had teeth.)

But the one thing that gets me through it all is the multi-thousand dollar difference every month between what our mortgage was and our rent is now. Seriously. We are saving $2,000 every month by living here. Multiply that by twelve months, and five-and-a-half years of living here. (Insert me pulling out a calculator...) By my calculations, we could have had $132,000 more in our pocket had we rented instead of bought a home.

I can promise you, we did not get that handed to us when we sold our house.

Maybe renting isn't so bad...

No, it is. It really is. And thank heavens it will end in four more months.

Oh geez toughen up. It might be hard for you to believe that people live their ENTIRE lives in NY in tiny spaces and are happy, educated and well balanced people. Apparently you wouldnt be one of them.

Yes, you are right. I would NOT be one of those people who can live in a tiny space for my ENTIRE life in NY. Because I like having more than one room. And lots of bathrooms. And a yard. So I choose to make my decisions based on what makes ME happy. Not based on what clearly makes YOU happy. A choice, by the way, that does not make me uneducated, unhappy, or imbalanced.

And may I also say this: TOUGHEN UP YOURSELF and dare to leave your name with your nasty comments. Nobody asked for your wisdom and insight. Why are you reading this blog anyway that, clearly, is so beneath your intelligence and balanced life in your 300 square foot apartment in NY?

Oh geez toughen up. It might be hard for you to believe this because you're one of those uneducated house dwellers. But there are people who live there entire lives in NY in tiny apartments that are only 5 square feet. It's basically just a porta-potty. They eat, sleep, and poop on the same toilet they also bathe in. Mind you, only people living in NY live in tiny apartments. People don't live in small apartments anywhere else in the U.S. Oh, and you'll also find it hard to believe that 100% of these people are extremely happy. In fact, most of them have never even felt "the blues." (I put "the blues" in quotes because I'm not even sure they exist.) Oh yeah, and did I mention their stellar educations? Well I should have because all of them hold degrees from Ivy League universities. But honestly I don't expect you to understand any of this because you want a yard and probably only got a degree from a regular STATE college. Ha! I pity you and all your big home ignorance.

It's amazing to me when people have time to leave rude comments on blogs. I only make time to read blogs I love. Like yours. Good luck. It's disorienting to have everything turned on its head. I'm sure you're holding everything together wonderfully. I'm excited for you that you get to build a house. Good luck!

Oh, Stie...I loved this. Your humor is always intact...and we all love you for it. I have so missed your, "strikeout" statements of things like, "All three of them." or when you give us your mental notes of things like, "Learn how to cure cancer."

I also enjoy it when you put MORONS in their place. I think MORON wants to be your boyfriend. Nuthin' doin', MORON.

Stie,Where are you in TX? You are going to love it when you settle in. We lived there and some of our closest friends are still there. Are you in Dallas by chance? Come visit we miss you in San Diego!T

Glad you checked in - I've missed you. Be glad you only have the smoke to deal with - remember my "active" upstairs neighbors with the squeaky bed? Now they have a dog...one of those obnoxious yippy dogs who barks at anything or anyone, which works GREAT in a condo complex where people actually, you know, live. xoxo

Why don't you spend your days reading insightful books like "Kindness for Dummies" instead of trolling rude comments on my sweet, kind and compassionate sister's blog. Clearly if you had read the last 3 posts you would realize that her life has just been torn apart and she is adjusting to a new life -- basically on her own, as her husband travels a ton. Or you could just post your short sighted rude comments and ruin another human beings day. Your call. I hope life is great for you in your porta potty toilet apartment.