"With those who do not give a damn about baseball, I can only sympathize. I do not resent them. I am even willing to concede that many of them are physically clean, good to their mothers, and in favor of world peace. But while the game is on, I can't think of anything to say to them."

Ah, that’s right. The New York Yankees are up where they belong. In the #1 spot of the Week 11 Power Rankings. Standings-wise, they’re merely TIED for first, but you know how I feel about ties. And I don’t expect this to last very long, despite the fact we’re facing a fairly tough week of games, and—worse—facing it without the lynchpin of our offense.

But they’re the Yankees. And if they hold their own this week, without the benefit of a slew of important players, then that’ll speak volumes about what this team is made of. On the bright side, the Phillies aren’t looking like the team we saw in November last year, and the Mets won’t have the benefit of Fake Shea for the subway series this weekend. The Bronx hates you if you’re not a Yankee. HATES.

I should also note that for whatever reason, this week’s rankings look like a casserole of crazy. Maybe it’s the interleague play, maybe it’s the weather, maybe it’s the World Cup. But scrubs are playing hard and powerhouses are phoning it in.

So keep in mind that these rankings reflect what happened LAST WEEK ONLY. Think about that before I get lambasted for tossing top 5 teams in the basement.

And for the rankings…

14. O’s (14)Half of me wants to move them up a notch as a show of good faith, a gesture of gratitude for helping my boys ascend the AL East ranks. But even my pity can’t eclipse the fact the Baltimore Orioles winning percentage is .270.

13. Mariners (13)Their offense is so miserable, and their defense is even worse. They’ve had 9 walkoffs against them already. The record is 16, and they’re only 5 away with nearly 5 months left to play. At least that’ll mean they’re #1 at SOMETHING this year… (Also, is it bad that I get a little giddy thinking about Cliff Lee having to suffer through this?)

12. J’s (2)Ha! What the hell happened here? I’ll tell you what. The J’s are doing exactly what I said they would and are realizing their showy long ball displays can only go so far, so to speak. In the last week, Toronto’s been outscore 41-13 and has batted .163. They’re dead last in BA and OBP. Sure, they have a commanding lead in the HR category, but for my money, give me baserunners every day of the week and twice on Sunday.

11. A’s (9)The only thing keeping Oakland from falling into conversations about baseball’s pathetic barrel is Kevin Kouzmanoff. WOW! Look how great he’s doing! Fantasy pick up! So awesome! Meanwhile, the A’s just got swept by the Giants and have only won 3 in the last week and a half.

10. Royals (12)Purely by default, Kansas City moves up a little this week, but by no merit of their own. The fact that the rest of the AL is playing like they’re all taking a Summer Friday and can’t be bothered with investing time into projects. The fact that KC has the 2nd most hits in the AL, and the 2nd highest BA, but still manages to only have the 8th highest run total, tells me something needs to be done with their batting order. And something other than moving Kendall to the 2 spot, which has amounted to a .195 BA (a masterful .220 SLG)…and 3 runs scored.

9. Tribe (11)Well, um, they still exist. And Pronk took Strasberg deep. Yeah, that’s about the extent of their accolades right now.

8. Southsiders (10)Amid all the ubiquitous Ozzie Guillen drama, the ChiSox have actually done something right with the team. It looks like they just collectively threw their hands up and said, “Screw offense, you guys just wanna try to not give up a 1000 runs a game and hope once in a while that’s enough to eek out a win?” In the last week, the starters—yes, the much ballyhooed starters of the offseason—lived up to the hype, with a 1.52 ERA. Also, Ozzie continues to be nuts.

7. Twinkies (5)I think it’s sad the Twinks fell to 7th because I really like them, and I feel that—unlike the rest of the strugglers—that this team has a legitimate excuse for it. Their infield is evaporating and is basically paper-thin at this point. It’s no surprise they were 5-5 last week. They’ve lost the last 2 games to the relatively hot Braves, but still have a 2.5 game lead over Detroit in the division. They also seem to have whatever the opposite of the J’s syndrome is. I mean, manufacturing runs is great and all, but once in a while, take the freaking pitcher deep.

6. [Devil] Rays (6)Man, you guys stink! Look how much you fell! Now you have to rely on the team with the best 2nd half record of all-time, to start slumping. However, bad news for Yankee fans is that the D-Rays are a.) hitting the road for the next week which is oddly their forte, and b.) playing some of the worst teams in the NL (save the Braves). If we want to preserve the lead, then it’s up to TB to choke.

5. Tiggers (7)Watch out, Minny. I’m pretty sure your reign atop the AL Central will be short-lived. Detroit will in all likelihood devour the upcoming NL opponents, and their momentum will probably set them a game or 2 ahead of the Twinks by the time July rolls around. The problem is that Detroit’s lineup is like a fantasy team that may luck out and make the playoffs, but when you’re firmly entrenched in the “middle-of-the-road” in all stat categories, you’re never gonna be able to capitalize on your strong points. Because, well, you don’t have any.

4. BoSox (4)I’m not impressed. They lost in embarrassing manners to the Tribe, and everyone knows that Boston fans can only obnoxiously support one of their teams at a time. This week it’s the Celtics, and as such, I expect a drop in the Sux’s numbers, as Fenway Faithfuls renounce their baseball allegiance for another couple of days, until Kobe is done slicing up the Celts in LA. Also, the Sux are usurping the Yanks kingship in “Decimated By Injuries” Land. Dice-K, Hermida, and Ellsbury are all question marks. Speaking of question marks, has Papelbon dropped off the face of the planet? Not that I’m complaining, just curious.

3. Rangers (8)They’re neck and neck with the Angels now, and it’s really tough to say which team has more staying power as the battle for the AL West rages on. Overall, the Rangers are absolutely a better, more well-rounded team than the Halos, but there’s something to be said for momentum. Of which the Rangers never seem to have. They’re the Will Huntings of Major League Baseball. So much talent, so little interest in leveraging it.

2. Halos (1)8-2 in the last week, and CELLO! You got a race! Here’s something else I just learned: The Angels' 11 wins on their just-completed road trip were the most on one trip since 1962. But you know what the difference is between this team and the normal Halos? This team is, like, stumbling on wins. They’re like someone playing Guitar Hero who just keeps banging on the keys when they get flustered and are bound to hit the right ones now and then. Unfortunately, when you employ this kind of technique—when you depart from the normal well-oiled strategies of yore—you’re bound to eventually see a less than favorable fate.