Catherine Taylor

Her Heart - Poem by Catherine Taylor

Her heart was whole and unbrokenLoved in all that she didOh, how she loved her life Everything was perfect and comfortableA smile always found its way to her lips

But that all faded with timeHer heart changedWith the meds they fed herThey unchained her emotions And brought upon a hurricaneHer heart hurt with every beatHer head was no longer capable of thoughtAnd slowly she lost who she wasHer heart shatteredThousands of piecesScattered in her mindShe didn’t know where to startAnd nothing could be done to fix herDoctor after doctor tried patch her upYet none could see That her emotions had perished Along with her heart, they had shatteredSo day after day she played a dangerous gameTo ensure her freedom The doctors longed to take awayEach emotion she felt was faked For she in her mind they no longer existedEach word that left her mouthWas carefully contemplatedForced to remember every lieThat had ever left her lipsFor should she make single mistake It would cost her far more than she was willing to giveAnd still the doctors tried to fix herThey tried to force her to feelFor they were unable to seeWhat it was she had lostAnd how her heart only grew colderAnd her thoughts only became darker

With each year that past Her eyes grew dullerAnd her mind grew sharper and cruelerThen the emotions she could fakeYet never feel lead her to a knifeThe blade pressed against her skinThe promise of painToo sweet for her mind to resistYet as the blood fell to the floorShe could feel nothingHer heart was shatteredHer emotions were goneThere was nothing left to feelHer mind whirled around consumed by darknessAnd she became something far more dangerous than a humanBut in the midst of the storm that was her mindA light shone in the guise of a boyHe held her without ever saying a wordFor he had somehow he managedTo see what they had all failed to comprehendAnd he did what she thought was impossibleHe made her feelHer made her shattered, broken heart, beat once moreBut she had gone years without emotionsThey were a foreign concept to herUnknown and frightening Still he held her tight As if to say it would be alrightAnd still she feltIt left her ragged and beatenAnd at times it overwhelmed herYet he was her strengthHe was the reason Her heart was still beatingThen the darkness in her heart would set inShe second-guessed herselfIt was easier not to feelA heart was too fragileShe feared it would be brokenBefore it had a chance to healBefore she regained all feelingHer fears grew and he wasn’t thereHer light was goneEven worse her strength had disappeared

Something so far deep inside of herShe didn’t even recognize Forced her to stand on her ownFacing her fears she stoodBarely feeling as the few she had recoveredWere no longer rooted to a personHer heart hurt for no reason she could comprehendEmotions were painfulAnd her mind grew to be chaoticEvery thing made less and less senseBut then once more she found someoneThis time light shone from inside a girlCompassionate in everything she didHer light was beautiful and kindAnd taught her what that meantHer light treated her with careNever questioning why she was lackingThis time her light never fadedHer light was always thereTo heal or to help

Years had passed since thenAnd her light was still thereBut still she struggled to regain her emotionsYet this time she knew That she wished to feelThe process was far from painlessAnd at times she still felt the darknessThat crept in her mindAnd it scared herShe was no longer able to deny thatAnd her heart still beat despite its battered statusHer game had changedDay by day she felt a little moreShe no longer saw doctorsAnd now her freedom was secure Her emotions became less and less fakedNo more lies left those lipsShe had no need to be so cautiousBut old habits die hardAnd it wasn’t till that nightShe realized just how far she had comeHer control was slipping as she watchedA girl she barely knew break downEmotions consumed her for a minuteRage, love, compassion, grief They blocked out her mind Leaving only her instinctsWrapping the girl up in her armsShe whispered words of comfortPromises to help the girl stand againThe girl she held was fragile and brokenNot so unlike herself not so long agoHer heart was almost wholeShe felt it fill her chestThe weight of it no longer hurt herOnly a pleasant dull ache remainedShe knew her heart wasn’t wholeIt would never be She accepted her fate

Her heart wasn’t whole but it had healedIt had scars and bruises And missing pieces that were lost foreverAnd tears would always be thereFor it had suffered and it had shattered once upon a time