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Jan 1, 2015

4 Tips to Live a Balanced, Happy Life with Fewer Regrets

“Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance and order and rhythm and harmony.” ~Thomas Merton

Balance has become an ever-elusive thing these days. The onslaught of
technological breakthroughs, aimed at making life easier, has given way
to a societal expectation that we are available around the clock.

This has bled into our careers, where our employers have ever
increasing expectations that we can do more in less time. We have 168
hours in our week to sleep, work, rest, be with our loved ones, and
pursue personal interests.

Unfortunately, the majority of people in the world today complain
that they aren’t able to keep up with the competing commitments that
steal much of their precious time.

It’s no longer enough to contemplate how this happened and talk about
the “good ole days” when life was easier and the days were longer.

We need to identify what balance looks like for us (as it
differs from person to person), work on regaining some of our time, and
find more balance so we can truly show up and be present in all the
different areas of our lives.

My wake-up call about my imbalanced life came when I lost my best friend to suicide a few years ago.

When you experience a sudden loss of this magnitude, you most
certainly find yourself in a place of deep contemplation and
restructuring. I recognized my own mortality in a way I hadn’t before.

As a result, I had to do some housekeeping in order to get my life
“up to snuff,” so I took an honest and meaningful inventory of all the
different parts of my life.

I looked at the people I was spending my time with, the activities I
engaged in, and the places I dwelled. I asked myself if these people,
activities, and places were feeding my soul, supporting my journey, and
providing love and support.

It was through this inventory I realized how out of balance
my life was. It’s also how I came up with the action plan I am sharing
with you now

1. Start with a values inventory.

You want to sit down, grab a pen and a piece of paper, and list all of the values that are important to you. You’ll also want to put them in order of importance.

Some of my top life values include happiness, love, fellowship,
integrity, and spirituality. It’s important to note that your top values
are defined only by you and carry their own power and placement in your
life.

For example, I define spirituality as my connection to, and
relationship with, the source of all things. I honor that value through
daily meditation,
prayer, and my efforts to make the world a better place through my work
and my charity fund. I also honor that value by ensuring I live a life
full of generosity, gratitude, respect, and compassion.

2. Look at your life domains and identify the imbalances present in each area.

When I speak about life domains, I’m talking about self, career, relationships, and community.

Self: This domain includes you, your time, your interests, and your self-care.

Career:This domain speaks to your current job and your employer.

Relationships: This domain speaks to your loved ones, both friends and family.

Community: This domain speaks to your
participation in your local community (volunteer work, belonging to a
religious or spiritual institution, coaching your child’s little league
team, etc.)

Again, you want to grab a pen and a piece of paper. For each of your
four life domains, identify what the ideal balance would be. Be detailed
in your description of each life domain.

For example, in the relationships domain, identify those people you
would want to see on a regular basis. What frequency would you like to
see them and under what circumstances? What would you need to do in
order to make that happen?

You should also weave in your top values to better understand how they should support your efforts in each life domain.

For example, I would talk about the importance of my value around
love and how it plays out in the relationship domain. I would write
about my choice to surround myself only with kind, loving people who
support me and I support in return.

The goal here is to create an ideal vision of balance in each domain.

3. Write about the current status of each life domain.

If your life domains are imbalanced, write down the details
surrounding the imbalances and what you’ll need to do to get them in
alignment.

For example, if your career domain is imbalanced because you’re
working too many hours for a demanding supervisor, think about the steps
you’ll need to take to regain your balance.

Maybe it’s talking to your boss about getting you some help or
working fewer hours. If your work environment isn’t conducive with this
type of dialogue, maybe looking for a better job is a consideration.

If some of your life domains are in balance, write about the steps
you are committing to in order to prevent them from being compromised.
It’s important to be clear on your approach to living, and maintaining, a
balanced life.

4. Begin implementing the changes you want to see in a realistic and bite size manner.

You want to focus on one domain at a time, and tackle one change at time. Pick a domain and implement your first change.

Once you have grown comfortable with this change and it is now part of your “new normal,” you can move on to the next change.

When you have implemented all of the changes in your first domain,
and reached the balance you desire, you can move to the next domain. I
would suggest starting with the easiest changes first.

Start to build momentum with the changes that will help you create
more balance right away. Maybe that’s turning off your work computer at
8:00 every night so you can be with your family, eating healthier, or
committing to visiting your parents every Sunday morning.

At the end of the day, this is all about you living a regret-free
existence. Later in life, you don’t want to look back and feel regret
for neglecting certain parts of your life (children, health, career
aspirations, etc.) because you didn’t take the steps necessary to make
things better.

Balance isn’t easy to achieve, but it is well worth the effort. Make a commitment to find your balance today!