It's true, we overthink and become paranoid with how we socialize, how we appear to others, if they'll hurt us by simply walking away or showing that they're not interested in what we have to say...

Today someone gave me a very simple advice "take one step at a time", I think it applies... That's what I'm going to start doing and maybe even find a way to socialize without so much anxiety, without being so closed off and quiet... maybe less honesty to the point of being rude. I'll try one little coffee break at a time...

(11-06-2016, 12:21 PM)BeyondShy Wrote: I don't want to be accused of writing an essay so I will keep this as brief as possible.

Thursday I had a nice ninety-minute coffee/talk with a co-worker of mine. It was unexpected on my part because about a month ago I did something for her on her computer to make it run a bit more efficiently and she wanted to buy me a coffee as a way of thanks.

It was very nice and I believe I held up my end of the conversation pretty good because she wasn't looking for an excuse to bolt out of there. It was really enjoyable and I must confess it is something I do not do every day.

What I took out of this was I think too much and psyche myself out of social situations. I have it in my head that it is going to be terrible and I am going to be a total failure and these thoughts build up and build up until I convince myself that I am going to mess up badly. What I expect and what actually happens is two different things.

Maybe by me writing this and sharing it someone here may realize that they too could be thinking too much in social situations.

That's it. I hope this wasn't too long.

Hey BeondShy,

Maybe this is a bit blunt and I could totally understand if it hasn't even come tomind for you, also I don't want to freak you out or make you change the way you are right now, but have you thought of the posibillity this co-worker might like you?

True, it could have been just a thank you or reaching out, but maybe it's actually more then that, don't know if you ever thought of this person like that either, but I'd just thought to mention it.

Anyway it's awesome you actually enjoyed yourself in a social situation, this person must be someone that you like and trust in one way or another.

(11-07-2016, 02:35 AM)Serenia Wrote: I am really glad you had a nice time it taught you something too. That sounds like a fine day.

May I ask, do you think she might enjoy another coffee?

Not long at all.

I am very sure this was a one time thing.

(11-07-2016, 02:54 AM)MisterLonely Wrote: Hey BeondShy,

Maybe this is a bit blunt and I could totally understand if it hasn't even come tomind for you, also I don't want to freak you out or make you change the way you are right now, but have you thought of the posibillity this co-worker might like you?

True, it could have been just a thank you or reaching out, but maybe it's actually more then that, don't know if you ever thought of this person like that either, but I'd just thought to mention it.

Anyway it's awesome you actually enjoyed yourself in a social situation, this person must be someone that you like and trust in one way or another.

Keep posting!

You didn't freak me out so it's all good.

I did not consider anything happening between myself and this person because all I did for her was a favor. I did some minor computer work that she was not too confident to do herself. It was no big deal. This co-worker I am talking about is a married co-worker and for me that means that is off limits. I know a lot of people out there don't care if they get involved with a married person but I am not one of them. The girl I want to be with is going to have to be unattached.

(11-06-2016, 09:44 PM)ladyforsaken Wrote: Glad to see that it went well and that you enjoyed it too, it also goes to show you're not as bad as you often think you are. Gotta keep fighting those inner demons.

I read a quote somewhere a long time ago that went something like this. Worry is imagination misplaced. That right there ladyforsaken is the story of my life.

First forgive te many typiung errors that will be in this post. On Tuesday I got my right yhand operated on because I had carpal tunnel in it. Bac inSeptember I had my left hand done. Thsat was a harder surgery for me because I am left handed and I could not get round at all. This time my good hand is avaiable.

I will be layed up for awhile asn now I am very tire3d because I am on pain medication caslled hydocodone and that medication get me tired a lot (I sleep a lot after takin it) and it gets me dizzzy, loopy and disorienated. In other words it knocksd me out and just by looking at my typing I am not doing so good awake either. Also I have a 100 degree fever on top of it.

I wajhnt to thank the nice people in the chat area for asking about kme and how I felt especially Nilla Creme and Amy who both made some nice iunquiries. I appreciated it. I couldnot stay lomg yesterday afternoon because I was nodding off.

Well, between you and I and everyone else that reads this I just want to say that I am glad New Year's Eve is over and done with for another year.

It's not that I have anything against it. I like it as much as the next person. There was a fireworks display here and at every bar/nightclub/sports bar they rang in the New Year for all the customers that were there.

There is a sports bar not to far from me and I could have went there and this time I had no reason to use my time-worn excuse of being afraid to go. I've been to sports bars before and I kind of like them because they always got some game on for you to watch. So I sit back and watch and drink my root beer. Sometimes I even get drawn into other people's conversations especially when they start talking about trivia. Eventually someone will look at me and ask me to confirm if they are right. So, it's nice there. I'm comfortable there.

But New Year's Eve? I couldn't do it. I would have been just fine until the last ten seconds before midnight and then when the clock struck twelve the usual happens. Happy New Year! Hooray! And then the couples give each other a nice, long kiss. Right then I would have felt out of place with everyone cheering and kissing each other and me watching it happen.

And this is why I am glad it is the 2nd of January and I do not have to think about this for twelve more months.

I hope everyone here has a happy and healthy 2017. I think we all could use that, right?