writing the story out of orderand trusting, that if i'm honestthe meaning will come through.

trusting.

because when i say i'm afraidi mean afraid of myself.of the pictures in my headand being found out.

whatever that means.

when i think of my future,

i see a blank.white space.the absence of colour

or movement.

and i am afraid, like a writer is afraid of an empty page:not for what it doesn't say, but for what it could.but i'm going to say all i can, and maybe after, i

won't carry

so much fear.

i like to travel. seeing things i've never seen before, the time change making every hour new.i like the sun floating jigsaw on the water, in any country, i like taking the time to see those colours that get forgotten.i don't like airplanes, not the height but being cut off from the world. not crashes, but slow hours alone. but sometimes i watch clouds curve in the blue under the wing, and it's beautiful.

when i think of travel, you are there with me.talking, and thinking, and holding onto each other's hands

and the colour of the sky.

i don't know where we'd go, but i know i'd be happyi always am, with you.and even in that white space, i know i'd do anything i couldto know you're happy, too.

and i guess it sounds simple, but i know you've been hurtmore than anyone deserves, and you still look out at the worldwith rainbright eyes, and i still remember

walking from your houseand being shocked at all the starssinging through the purple dark.

i used to think love meantsomeone would fix mebut you never made me feel

broken.

with you, i'm opened up andsometimes it hurts to feel so much,but always, there's happiness.

i didn't know i was capable ofso much happiness.

when i talk to you, i'm not afraid of empty space or an empty page.because there are so many pictures i want to paintand i would give you any of them. they're yours.

you let these colours into me.

and more than i could everfearan empty page,

i trust you.

i trust you.

i trust you.

i trust you.

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