Catégorie : In English

My work at Automattic requires me to get out of my comfort zone from time to time and interact with other human beings at in-person meetups. This week, I am in Glasgow.

If you came to this blog before, you probably already know that I struggle with anxiety a lot. I'm not ashamed of it, though there was a time when I would not talk about it because it made me feel like I looked weak to others.

Now I don't care, it's part of who I am and I'm OK with sharing that this week so far has been difficult. I love the people on my team, but the noise, pushing myself through uncomfortable situations, the fear of missing out, flying, making decisions, keeping in touch with the rest of my work duties, etc. has been really tough on me.

A couple of clicks away though, I know there's my fiancé, always there ready to listen. Dylan loves running, and lately, he's been out chasing kilometers in preparation for his next challenge at the Lake Geneva. This week though, he also took a few minutes to organize a surprise that meant the world to me and got flowers delivered to my hotel room along with a "knock-off" quote from The Office.

"Sometimes I'll start a gift card, and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way."

There it is, finally. We have our copies of Charlie Hebdo.

I don’t know how this makes me feel though. I’ve been dreaming about it for days, my head has been heavy for a week now, with the thought of the attacks constantly in the back of my mind. I need to rest. We say life goes on but things will never be the same again in France. People are actually nicer to each other on the bus when I go to work in the morning.