Twenty-something poet based in NW England. Trying to say what everybody feels.

9 Uses For Books (Aside From Reading Them)

Books are amazing. They will take you to new worlds, teach you new things, give you amazing friends, and let you have incredible adventures, all without leaving the comfy embrace of your couch. But what other uses do books have? Read on below to find out all the other incredible things you can do with the knowledge trove you have just lying about your house. You’ll never want to just read your books again!

Clearly this article is written with my tongue firmly lodged in my cheek.

Bookshelf by Radu Marcusu on Unsplash

Laptop Stand

You might think I’m kidding you on this one, but this is a really easy way of getting your laptop to the right height. We put our bodies (and especially our backs and necks) through the ringer by constantly being bent over a laptop, and it’s been proven that it is much better for you if the screen is at eye-level or somewhere close. I’ve seen many people use books to prop up their laptop because a) it’s cheaper than some fancypants laptop stand, and b) it’s adjustable by just adding or taking away some of the tomes you’re using.

Step

Much like the first one, except this time you’re not adjusting the height of your laptop, you’re adjusting the height of… yourself. I do this all the time for that just out of reach thing… like the fan switch above my bathroom door. Why do they put those so high?! Who do they think is living in this flat; the bloody BFG?? Anyway… being a shortass, I often have to get a couple of my more sturdy hardbacks to give myself that six extra inches in height I need in order to be able to reach those really annoying, out of fingertips way, things.

Makeshift Table

Similar to a laptop stand, except this time you use it to rest paper/notebooks/plates or anything else you need to put on your lap at any particular time. Especially user friendly if you have some seriously weighty A4 hardbacks kicking around.

Hiding Place

You think I’m joking; but seriously, have you ever tried to find anyone in a library or bookshop quickly? It’s nigh on impossible.

Doorstop

I am actually currently doing this with my bedroom door. I have lost my actually doorstop (I swear those things disappear into the third dimension), so am currently using a hardback illustrated copy of The Chronicles of Narnia to prop my door open.

Daddy Long Legs Killer

I hate daddy long legs. I hate hate hate daddy long legs. They are so much worse than spiders. Having lived in Australia for the best part of six months, spiders (unless they’re MASSIVE) don’t actually bother me that much. I had a few spiders hanging out in the corner of my room for the whole time I was there, and after ascertaining they weren’t some of those with enough poison to down to a horse in a pea-sized body, we struck a deal. They would stay in their corner of the room and I… wouldn’t squish them. It worked out quite well for the both of us.

Daddy Long Legs on the other hand… ew. They do not stay in one place; the flit around, and they way they move is just so weird. I’m cringing even thinking about them to write this. Needless to say, any DLLs (I can’t be bothered to type the whole name again), that cross my path do not make it out alive. One was in my room once when I was about seventeen, and I used my complete works of Shakespeare to end that mofo. Bit of an overkill, a 1500+ page book vs. a spindly insect, but that might just sum up how much I detest those things. I’m going to have to go lie down now until I stop shivering.

People Watching Cover Tool

Just like in a spy movie, when the protagonist uses a newspaper to keep a subtle eye on the antagonist. You can do the same with a book. Kinda creepy, but it’s a subtle way of people watching without just blatantly staring at people.

Person Repellent

Similar to people watching cover tool, except this is if you don’t want anyone to come near you or approach you. Pretend (or actually be) completely invested in the book you’re reading. If someone does have the temerity to interrupt whilst your reading, you can look at them with a withering stare, whilst pointedly keeping a finger where you are on the page, and continually glancing down to read a few words until they get the message. It works.

Decoration

I live in an apartment, and currently have more than 450 books in the place. For anyone who’s read anything on my blog before it probably doesn’t come as a surprise that I love books. I will take them over an e-reader any day, even if it means having to lug a few weighty tomes about. I think a house without any books is unnerving. Apart from the fact that I like there to be books around for when I inevitably get a little bit bored, and just want something to flick through, I also think they’re extremely pretty and brighten a place up.

What dastardly things do you do with your books other than reading them? Let me know in the comments!

Haha, I actually don’t think I use books for any of these things… Well, apart from the person repellent thing because when out and about I’m generally anti-social. It rarely works for me though. Just last month I was sat in a park reading when a homeless man sat on the bench next to me and proclaimed “I know you fancy me”. 🙄🙄🙄

Thanks for the reminder that my posture is horrible right now while I’m hunched over my laptop, btw. I really need to sort myself out. 😂