Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two guys were talking at work.

"I've got a problem," said the first one.

"What is it?"

"My wife has done it to me again. I'm supposed to buy my mother-in-law a present for her birthday, from the two of us. And I am fresh out of ideas. I mean it's HER mother, why can't she buy it?"

"What did you buy her last year?" the other one asked.

"Last year I bought her a VERY EXPENSIVE cemetery plot."

"Hmmmm, hard to top that one," said the other.

The two guys couldn't come up with anything. So the son-in-law didn't buy his mother-in-law anything for her birthday.

When the big day arrived the next weekend, she was a bit upset. At the family gathering for her birthday, she announced out loud to everyone, "Thank you all for the wonderful gifts. Too bad my daughter and son-in-law weren't so thoughtful!"

Thinking quickly, the son-in-law responded, "Well, you haven't used the gift I gave you last year!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two neighbors were talking about work, when one asked, "Say, why did the foreman fire you?"

Replied the second, "Well, you know how a foreman is always standing around and watching others do the work. My foreman got jealous. People started thinking I was the foreman."~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The was a farmer who raised watermelons. He was doing pretty well but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat watermelons. . .

After some careful thought he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure. So he made up a sign and posted it in the field. The next day the kids showed up and they saw his sign: "Warning, one of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide."

Well the kids were bright and not about to risk another watermelon. They ran off, made up their own sign and posted it next to the sign that the farmer made.

The next day the farmer showed up to look over the field and he noticed to his delight that no watermelons are missing. He was perplexed, however, by a sign next to his. He drove his tractor up to the sign which read: "Now there are two!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A businessman walks into a bar after a day at the office, sits down, and orders a drink. He grabs a handful of peanuts from the bowl on the counter, and as he takes his first sip, he hears a voice say, "That's a beautiful tie, is that silk? The women must love you."

Wondering who would make such a strange comment, he looks around and doesn't see anyone near him who could've been speaking to him. With a shrug, he finishes his drink & peanuts and orders another.

Next he hears a voice say, "Those shoes are stylin', my man. Are they Italian leather? They look grrrreat."

He whirls around to again see no one near him. He glances nervously around and then at his shoes, which he tucks self-consciously under the stool. A little wierded out, he grabs another handful of peanuts and orders a third drink. This time the voice continues with, "That suit looks fantastic. Is it an Armani? You are *SO* G.Q.!"

He immediately calls the bartender over and says, "Look. I keep hearing these voices telling me how great my tie, my shoes, and my suit look -- What's up with that? Am I going crazy?"

"Oh," the bartender, nonchalantly replies, "those are just the peanuts."

"The peanuts?!?" the astonished man asks, staring at the bowl beside him.

Welcome back Joe. Today we're going on a Pontoon boat ride with Granddaughter and her boyfriend, then to lunch. It's her Birthday present from her boyfriend. I hope we don't see any Gators, just lots of other wildlife. To all here and all who follow, have a Wonderful Saturday. Danish, Cinnamon Buns, and French Toast in the NC.

Good morning Joe, it's great to see you. Looks like we'll have a nice day in the mid-80s. I've got some maintenance on the dishwasher and refrigerator to tinker with today so that should keep me off the streets. But before I can get to that I've got to work in the Garden, listen to my music and enjoy the coffee, have a cinnamon bun and some french toast to get me going.

Have a wonderful day Joe Ana SpaceQF Haroula Sue Connie and the rest of the gang when you are up and at em.

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To learn, read...To know, write...To master, teach...To live, play games & listen to whale music

Slept like a log last night but seemed to have picked up a sore throat, a sore back, and a sore shoulder sometime while I was sleeping. I don't know what I did, but I sure hope I had fun doing it.

Hubby and I watched Red (the original one) last night. Such a fun movie. Now we are chomping at the bit to see the new one, but I expect we will see it when it comes out on dvd.

Mr. Keoki is doing great. Took him off his pain meds as he has gotten very frisky wanting to take off running when the kitchen gate is open. I wish I could explain to him Why we want him to stay down.

My chore of the day is to go through the myriad piles of stuff in the den (from the laundry room) so we can put the laundry room back together and reclaim the den. I do need to cook the books but can't do that until my brain joins my body in being awake.

But, before I start chores, I'm gonna sit and sip and surf for a sec.

Soot

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"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." -Roger Caras

Welcome back Joe!!! Missed you! May work go well and the time fly! Thanks for the laughs, you're the best!!

Ana may the corner be kind and may it move right along. Sorry you had to cancel your date night but glad that you are all safe! Have a lovely day!

Haroula have a lovely day!

Cailyn, Gerry, venus, L4l, Soot, Gail, and Connie, if I knew how to send our lake breeze, that has come up today, to all of you, I would. It is a nice 60 out there this morning. One nice thing about living so close to Lake Superior!!!

Cailyn have a lovely day and stay cool.

Connie have loads of fun on the pontoon ride and prayers no gators there. to granddaughter. BTW did she get the pontoon or just a ride?? Thanks for the treats!

Soot hope the "mister fix it" projects go well and are simple and easy!! Have a lovely day!

L4l have fun sorting the keep and the throw items! Wonder what you were doing in your dreamland. I remember a movie from years ago about this guy and what he thought was his dream world was his actual world and what he thought was his actual world was his dream world. Both were so real. I think it stared Lloyd Bridges. Anyway prayers that the throat, back and shoulder fell better soonest!

Gail me hopes it cools down there for you. We had three days in the 90's this week and that hasn't happened in over 12 years. We get those type of days but not in a row like this so it is a pleasure when the wind decides to switch and come in off Lake Superior, like today!!! Have a lovely day!

No plans for the day yet. Granddaughter might be stopping by a little later and then I know daughter is stopping after work!