Al Capone, Machine Gun Kelly and the other celebrity criminals who did time at Alcatraz would have been amused to see the joint last night. Amid a battery of microphones and cameras, Sean Connery, Nicolas Cage and Ed Harris arrived on the island for the world premiere of their new movie, "The Rock." "Well, it's preposterous," said Harris as a Red & White fleet ferry pulled into the landing at the island. "But it's Hollywood time, PR and what have you. What are you going to say? At least it's a beautiful day."

Which it was, balmy and gorgeous. There was a breeze but not enough to ruffle any Hollywood hair, and the fog never made it through the Golden Gate.

Once the ferry landed, the stars hovered on board as the rest of the party debarked in Hollywood pecking order: San Francisco Mayor Willie Brown was first off the boat, followed by supporting actors, producers and the director and finally the big names.

The greeting party consisted of a throng of international press and television entertainment reporters. Connery's publicist, Nancy Seltzer, steered him past all the other microphones, past CNN and "Entertainment Tonight," and planted him right in front of Turner Broadcasting's TNT setup.

"It's thrilling because I know I get to leave in a few hours," Connery told them.

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A biplane circled overhead with a banner: "Get Ready to Rock." Windsurfer Jeff Bunch, 35, was ready by 4:30 p.m. That's when he landed with a wing-collar tuxedo shirt and hand-tied bow over his wetsuit. He landed on the northeast side of the island, made it up over the edge, and claimed to have already had a cocktail with Connery by the time he was caught by park rangers.

"I thought I would take a look and be on my way," said Bunch, who was charged with trespassing on federal land, and that doesn't include his dry-cleaning bill.

"Maybe they'll put windsurfers in the next movie," he said.

On the bay nearby were three pesky Jet Skiers, a boat with a galley of rowers and several slow- moving cabin cruisers. "Yes, we are groupies," the captain of the Five Stars, out of Sausalito, announced over the loudspeaker.

Several hundred people had waited at Pier 41 to see the celebrities off. Cage and his wife, Patricia Arquette, boarded the ferry at 6 p.m. The actor said he was looking forward to getting back to Alcatraz, although the weather had been miserable there during shooting and lots of people complained. But he added, "So many people suffered on that little island that I'd be the last person to complain about the weather there."

HOLLYWOOD CASUAL

The 500 guests who made the cut had been told to dress informally, which in Hollywood can mean anything. Arquette was wearing a chocolate brown three- quarter-length satin coat with matching pants by Dolce & Gabbana and an aqua silk blouse that matched her iridescent eyeshadow.

"I'm wearing underwear," she said cryptically. "I never go anywhere without my underwear."

Brown started apologizing to Arquette for mispronouncing her name at a party. She told him she wasn't at that party; it must have been her sister, Rosanna. Brown answered, "I guess I'm off the hook." Brown was the best-dressed person on board, outfitted in nautical navy blazer, yellow shirt and navy and yellow polka-dot tie.

Connery was wearing a tan parka, fisherman's sweater and no toupee. His wife, Micheline, was all in black and looked ready for Cannes.

The guests were taken on a tour of the one-time maximum-security prison, then to a screening of the movie and a lavish dinner.

They visited the cell block and the isolation row, where their guide, flat-nosed convict-turned- author Jim Quillen, described life on the Rock for them.

"It was a bloody mess, and we all paid for it after it was over," Quillen said of the infamous 1946 riot in which both guards and inmates were killed. Quillen spent 10 years in Alcatraz.

Many locals were unhappy at not getting an invitation. Sports figures were favored over social types. Almost no members of the movie crew got to go, though there's a screening for them tonight, but not on Alcatraz.

All the partygoers seemed to have ready comments on the movie premiere site. Said "The Rock" director Michael Bay: "This is like history. You had the Indians here, you've had Al Capone and now you have 'The Rock.' "

"I relish the opportunity to enjoy movie night at a penitentiary as a visitor rather than an occupant," said Brown. "I couldn't be more pleased with my visit to the Rock, though I would have allowed more members of the press to join us. I just wouldn't have allowed them on the ferryboat back."

SUPPLIES FERRIED OVER

Because Alcatraz has limited electricity and running water, generators, heaters, water containers and portable toilets had to be ferried over all last week.

Disney was mum about how much the party cost, but it is known that the studio donated hundreds of thousands of dollars to Alcatraz and chipped in $15,000 for extra Park Service staff.

The studio built a movie theater on the island, and it was no makeshift affair. It was as comfortable as the Kabuki, although it was installed inside a freestanding 66- by-99-foot tent in the recreation yard. It was equipped with a 35mm projection system, a movie-house- size screen and Surround Sound. The authentic movie-theater seats were raked so everyone could see.

At 7:30 p.m. the guests were given popcorn, licorice and M&Ms in the theater to tide them over until dinner more than two hours later. They also got a sense of deja vu about their just-completed tour -- "The Rock" is about terrorists who take over the island, holding a tour group hostage.

The buffet was set up in the cell block. Guests -- moving down the aisle with trays much as prisoners once did -- filled their plates with black sesame-crusted salmon, grilled tenderloin of beef, corn flan and fettucine with asparagus tips. This was quite a contrast from the last meal served there before Alcatraz closed in 1963 -- dry cereals, steamed whole wheat, scrambled eggs and stewed fruit. Paula LeDuc, whose Emeryville company catered the party, has been working on preparations for a month. The party colors were red, white and black, same as the posters for "The Rock."

The dining room was decorated with 18,000 red Gerbera daisies. "They wanted red, and daisies are the only thing we can do right now other than roses, which aren't the right lipstick red," said party planner Stanlee Gatti.