Have you looked at the sand ceremony? We were shown two different ceremonies, one that was religious and involved the officiant using a third color of sand to represent God as the foundation in the relationship. But the other was just the two of us to represent the joining of our two lives and we were much more comfortable with that. We are going to have a short prayer but we don’t want anything too religious just because of our personal preferences.

I’ve never heard of the sand ceremony, but will look it up! We thought of having a unity candle, but I’ve seen it done so many times and also, I’m a little fire-phobic (FH, on the other hand, is a pyro). Thanks for the suggestion.

EDIT: I just found some text of the sand ceremony and honestly teared up a bit! Lol! I’ll show it to FH in the morning and see what he thinks.

Oh, oh! I also just read about a thing called a love letter ceremony. The wine and box comment reminded me (it might be the same thing?). You each write a letter to each other and seal it. You lock it in a box with some wine and two glasses and set a date to open it in the future (like tenth or twenty fifth anniversary or something). Then you open it and read the letters you wrote on your wedding date and drink the wine together. I thought it sounded sweet but I can’t wait to read the letter so it wouldn’t be ideal for me.

Yes the love letter is the same as the wine and box. If you don’t think you’d want to wait to read the letter, and you don’t like wine, then it’s probably not a good idea though. Personally I have no interest in reading the letter (in fact it didn’t even occur to me until now that anyone would), I’d much rather leave it until an anniversary much later. I’m looking forward to that. I think another WB reader did it but they were going to do a new letter every year, which is another spin on it. I can’t remember who that was though.

Look up Jewish traditions. They’re quite meaningful and don’t have to be religious. FI is atheist and we’re doing a full Jewish wedding and he doesn’t seem to mind. For example, there are seven blessings, but they have modern interpretations – the idea is to celebrate the couple, the community, and the world. Circling to represent the intertwining of lives. Drinking wine together to share the joy of life.

I just put together a ceremony for some friends and while it wasn’t completely secular it kept the God Talk to a minimum and would be easy to convert. I found this thread on IndieBride super helpful and I’m happy to share both that ceremony and my own if you like. Just sent me a PM. It’s took long to stick in here.

I’m in the same boat too. I’ve been thinking that it will include some readings, perhaps a recap of how FI and I met. I’ve also thought about something that other married couples can do to contribute to our wedding. As an asian bride, I’m considering doing a tea ceremony (presenting tea to our parents and grandparents). Or a handtying ceremony.

Something that FMIL suggested from her wedding that I thought sounded nice was, FH’s dad liked different aspects of different religions/cultures, and one of the cultures he admired was the Quakers. So during their ceremony or reception, they allowed time for anyone to stand up and speak. Whether it was a nice story about the couple or just wanted to give their best wishes. She said it was nice because you got to hear how people felt, and reminisce in stories, and it allowed everyone to participate if they wished. Just an idea….