STEPPING BACK, MOVING FORWARD

Richard StillermanCHICAGO TRIBUNE

I felt a dull ache in my gut when I kissed my son goodbye. He was returning to college after spending Thanksgiving at home. Our time spent together lessens as he becomes his own person. Although it hurts, I do my best not to intrude.

I thought back to when I moved into my own apartment. I sensed my parents` feelings of loss, anguish and fear. They tried to keep me home with arguments of comfort, cooking and convenience. At that moment, they couldn`t fathom that my love for them would not diminish with my independence. I had to struggle to establish my own identity.

It`s so hard for parents to let go, but so necessary. We don`t relish the thought of relinquishing control over what we believe is ours. Dispensing advice is always easier than biting one`s own tongue. However, we grow up only when we free our children to develop their potential, encouraging them to make decisions and broaden their experiences and horizons.

I miss my son and the special closeness we shared in his childhood. I hope my pain is temporary, and that my stepping back now, and his moving forward, will cement our love and respect for each other over time.