Wednesday, February 29, 2012

IELTS Writing Task 2: 'technology' essay

Several people have asked me about this question from Cambridge IELTS 8. I wrote the essay below with the help of some of my students. A few simple linking features are highlighted.

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology.In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?

It is true that new technologies have had an influence on communication between people. Technology has affected relationships in various ways, and in my opinion there are both positive and negative effects.

Technology has had an impact on relationships in business, education and social life. Firstly, telephones and the Internet allow business people in different countries to interact without ever meeting each other. Secondly, services like Skype create new possibilities for relationships between students and teachers. For example, a student can now take video lessons with a teacher in a different city or country. Finally, many people use social networks, like Facebook, to make new friends and find people who share common interests, and they interact through their computers rather than face to face.

On the one hand, these developments can be extremely positive. Cooperation between people in different countries was much more difficult when communication was limited to written letters or telegrams. Nowadays, interactions by email, phone or video are almost as good as face-to-face meetings, and many of us benefit from these interactions, either in work or social contexts. On the other hand, the availability of new communication technologies can also have the result of isolating people and discouraging real interaction. For example, many young people choose to make friends online rather than mixing with their peers in the real world, and these ‘virtual’ relationships are a poor substitute for real friendships.

In conclusion, technology has certainly revolutionised communication between people, but not all of the outcomes of this revolution have been positive.

Hi Simon,
Thank you for ur tips and advice, they are really helpful for study.
By the way I just wonder about spelling mistakes in writing IELTS test. If I use American spellings instead of British spellings like : "labor" for "labour", "center" for "centre", etc.. would this affect my score, I mean whether my essay will be marked down or not??
best regards,

Hi dear Simon,
I do not understand why we used "on the other hand, in the beginning of the third paragraph? then again " on the other hand" in the following paragraph while both paragraphs talk about the same things (advantagesof technology no different ideas).
Therefore,I would be grateful if you could explain this please,because it seems to me very complicated and i could not understand.
Thanks

According your sample essay, I recognize that the structure of the essay organized in 2 parts; the first part is answer the question "new technology achievements affect in what ways", the second part is answer the question "they make positive or negative". Your organization is match to the the arrange of the question.

My question is
"Is it wrong if I organize the essay in 2 parts, one for positive effects, one for negative effects and explain more detail in which way they impact on each part"

Dear Simon,
I have read your essay and I realize a very clear organization. Sometimes, I find difficulties in finding and arranging the ideas in the essay. Could you give me some advice or suggests?
Thanks.

It's a great essay. I just wonder a bit when I read your first sentence of the opening part: "It is true that new technologies have had an influence on communication between people". As far as I know, 'between' is used when we talk about 2 people or objects whereas, from my understanding, you are mentioning about more than 2, meaning that 'among' should be used instead.

It's common to use 'between' when talking about more than 2 people. Your rule is only for physical positions (e.g. she is sitting between her mother and her father). "Communication between people" is a very normal phrase in English.

I think it is really easy for me to structure a paragraph using the connectors such as 'firstly, secondly, thirdly (finally)' which you suggested in your ebook. However, sometimes, in first main paragraph, I already used these connectors, but in second main paragraph, I still want to express my ideas, solutions, or negatives(positives) in such a style, is that OK to reuse these connectors ("firstly, secondly, thirdly")? or can you please suggest some alternatives?

My writing teacher tell me that in the first paragraph I should post a classic background relating to the topic.
For example, if the exam topic involves education we should emphasize its importance with a very long and complex sentence.
Do you think it is advisable?

I know that you don't offer essay correction on this website. From a general point of view, could you tell me what you think about it?
Also, I would be really grateful to people who could give me their opinion on this essay:

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology.
In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?

It cannot be denied that today technology exerts a strong influence on human relationships. While I accept that it has revolutionised the way people communicate with each other, I do not believe that the effects it has on communication are beneficial.

On the one hand, the use of some recent electronic devices allows people to interact with each other more often than they could in the past. For example, the possibility of connecting to the Internet from any laptop or mobile phone enables users to maintain close relations with their friends and enlarge their circle of acquaintances. In addition to that, Internet can cover long distances and thus persuade them that friends are closer than they really are. In my experience, even though I live miles away from my family and some of my best friends, I can speak to them as often as I did when I lived in their same city.

On the other hand, the impact that technological progress has on people’s relationships is not positive. Firstly, if it is true that social networks can remove geographic barriers, it is equally true that they may give rise to a sense of isolation and loneliness in those who use them. The impression to live close to a person who is physically distant may persuade us that chatting on Facebook or Messenger may be the best alternative to a pleasant meeting or a tasty dinner in a restaurant. Secondly, relationships have become more superficial. People tend to create virtual friendships and reveal their secrets to “friends” they have never met. Finally, making use of symbols to express feelings may lead to a lack of spontaneity in human relationships and a gradual impoverishment of language.

In conclusion, technology has certainly marked a turning point in the way people communicate, but the effects it has on the relationships they establish are detrimental.

Hi Simon!
I think that you should use "limited to write" instead of "limited to written" in the sentene below:
Cooperation between people in different countries was much more difficult when communication was limited to written letters or telegrams

answer written by domenico is far better than simon's writing,as i have got band 8 in writing,i can say,examiners these days like complex words,rich in vocabulary with clear arguments.In block method one can use both sides of arguments,does not hamper ur band, provided u have clear orientation in writing.

Hi Simon,
I'm lucky to know your website with a lot of useful lessons. Thank you so much!
I just wonder why you mentioned both sides in the second question of this task" How this been a positive or negative development?". As I remmember, the lesson you gave on Wednesday, October 05, 2011, you advised us not to need to mention the other side of the argument to the question " Is this a positive or negative development?". Your support is of great importance to me. Thanks.

This Question was asked in Nigeria,March exams 2013.Sport is a big business and has made sport professionals rich.Companies has invested financially and in other ways.What positive and negative developments does it have in sports.What is your opinion.How can one go about this question.Thanks

It is true that newly-invented technologies have been changing the way we communicate. In my view, technology has affected people’s relationship in various ways and the effects can be either positive or negative.

New technologies, especially in the fields of network and telecommunication, have considerable impacts on education industry, the way we collaborate and individual’s social contact. Firstly, tele-education distance education provides accessibility of information no matter where we are. For example, online courses, such as TED and coursera, are capable to offer a cornucopia of lectures to satisfy one’s curiosity about knowledge and information. Secondly, Skype and other office oriented software can deliver the feasibility for experts from different locations, or even countries, to brainstorm together and solve over-complicated problems. Finally, people tend to rely more on social network services than ever before to maintain personal relationships and make new friends.

On the one hand, the effects can be positive. Teleworking enables employees to communicate more efficiently to improve productivity. Moreover, online studying systems can provide the accessibility to well-organized courses for students from rural area and the quality of education can be guaranteed. On the other hand, I believe social network services, such has Facebook and twitter can also have negative consequences. For example, people tend to stay inside in their own rooms rather than talking to each other face to face. Social network is one of the main reasons for the reduction of outdoor activities. Also, online information is not always authentic. For example, some people may deliberately distribute fault information online in order to gain illegal profit.

In conclusion, new technologies certainly have had huge impacts on how we build connections and how we work together. However, the outcomes are not always good.

I am quite confused when planning for this type of question, because the answers to the first and the second question can sometimes be mixed together, i.e., you unconsciously judge the change in paragraph two.

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Since the invention of telephone a hundred years ago, our communication tools have been developed drastically to aid our day to day communication. Many have been benefited to interact with each other easily, thanks to the help of advanced technology, but still there are problems caused due to misuse of technology.
On one hand, people are now no longer suffering from the disconnection of their friends and families due to long distance separation. People from Europe can call their friends in China anytime they prefer, instead of taking an airplane to China in order to tell them face to face. Because of invention of a lot of communication applications, for example, whatsapp, viber, facebook, etc., they are now able to share every moment of their life easily to friends from far away.
On the other hand, however, it has caused some communication problems these days people tend to focus more on their communication devices rather than connect with people face to face. What’s worse, more and more traffic accidents have been reported that the driver’s concentration on their phones instead of the road should be blamed.
In my opinion, the advancement of technologies are designed to help people communicate more effective. It’s up to everyone how to use the technology wisely to improve our life, instead of depend on it. We should also educate our young generation on the importance of face to face communication, as they are the future of human being. They will develop new technologies to move mankind forward.
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Word count: 252.

Dear Simon,
I have read your essay and I realize a very clear organization. Sometimes, I find difficulties in finding and arranging the ideas in the essay. Could you give me some advice or suggests?
Thanks.

Hi Dear Simon
I've heard that it would be better to answer such opinion-led questions with one strong side! I mean that we should describe this question that wether it is a positive development or negative one...

Hi Simon,
In my opinion, it is easy for readers to misuderstand the term"on the other hand". This term means"However", but it also means "Additionally". Should we use "On the one hand" first and then "On the other hand" ?
Thanks.