Monday Musings

So, I’d recently been called out as a bad blogger by a fellow blogger who shall remain nameless <cough> Rejected Reality </cough>. Okay, so maybe John didn’t necessarily use the phrase “bad blogger,” but his calling out my lack of new blog entries (on Facebook, nonetheless!) encouraged me to post this one. Sadly, I’m going to spend it on a not-so-happy musing (or NSHM’s, for short):

Some People in Movie Theatres are Asshats

I was recently at a movie theatre where I witnessed a disgusting display of human stubbornness. The theatre was apparently “sold out” so an usher (or whatever they’re called these days) was asking people to “scoot over toward the center of the aisles” in order to free up some spaces at the ends for parties of two or more people. Some rows that could were all too willing to oblige. One particular row, however, vehemently rejected the idea. The usher did her best to muster up a “nice” tone to her voice and repeated her request. One of the rejectors proudly said: “Look, we got here way in advance in order to snag good seats.” He further asked why he and his party would have to sacrifice their good seats in order to reward the late-comers?

This was when things started getting ugly. So, the usher lady (let’s call her Demetra), “It says on the back of your ticket that I have the right to kick you out of the theatre for unruly conduct, and this qualifies.”

“Why would this qualify?” asked one of the rejectors.

Demetra ignored the question. “Sir, can you please just scoot over so that we can seat these people and start the movie?”

“No,” the rejector and his companion stated in unison.

With hands on her hips, Demetra said: “Then, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

At this, the pair got up and left, undoubtedly steeling themselves to wreak havoc on unsuspecting theatre management outside on what they might consider unfairness on behalf of the theatre. I would be interested to find out what happened to them.

Demetra smirked and asked the theatre patrons next to the recently vacated seats to move closer to the center. They complied. One other holdout was the real AOTD (Asshat of the Day) who still refused to move one seat over. One seat! Demetra and the AOTD exchanged pleasantries (and by “pleasantries,” I mean the exact opposite) over the next ten minutes, with Demetra saying, “Sir, we’re not going to start this movie unless you either comply or are kicked out.”

“Then kick me out,” AOTD challenged the frustrated usher.

“Okay, I will,” Demetra countered, and immediately got on the radio to summon Security (which never came, by the way, possibly proving to AOTD that Demetra had been bluffing).

AOTD still refused to move despite a gaggle of fellow theatre patrons yelling at him to “Scoot over!” or “Just move!” Meanwhile, the person seated next to me inquired, “Is that his daughter right next to him?” I nodded, and she added: “What kind of example is he teaching her?”

“A bad one,” I said, after channeling my inner Confucius.

Long story short, a single late-arriving theatre patron ended up taking the lone seat to which AOTD had been implored to occupy, and the movie started ten minutes later than the posted time. AOTD got his way and would probably be regaled by his daughter as a hero, for not giving in to the man (and by “the man,” I mean Demetra).

I was actually more amused than annoyed at what happened, although I don’t know how I would’ve felt had the movie started later than ten minutes. But, I would’ve enjoyed it nonetheless if AOTD had indeed been hauled out by security. And it would’ve been infinitely hilarious if “Security” turned out to be a couple of pimple-faced teenagers borrowed from the concession stand to “deal with” the problem. It would be endlessly hilarious if one of the pimple-faced teenagers was wearing an apron replete with popcorn grease.