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Paris Hilton, flanked by pot bellied boyfriend Nick Carter and party organizer Noah Tepperberg, grabbed pizza at Vincenzo’s on Main Street in Sag Harbor yesterday afternoon – and hissed at a rival singer as she ate.

With a look of utter revulsion, the heiress picked up an old flier advertising a June 30 appearance at Boutique by singer, night-lifer and Southampton native Samantha Cole.

“She is so pathetic,” Hilton sneered as Diary listened in.

“What does she do anyway? Does anyone know her?”

Hilton, whose single, “Screwed,” debuts later this summer, was then even more appalled when her boyfriend admitted to being an acquaintance of Cole’s.

“You know her?” she sneered. “Her party’s on a Wednesday. That’s so pathetic.”

“The Simple Life” star drew stares from patrons riveted to her diatribe and her outfit, a green Day-Glo tank top and pant set paired with Ugg boots, oversized glasses and a floppy hat.

“Man, she was talking trash!” said Chuck Zelnick after the smoke cleared. “That was crazy!”

Spent by the savaging, Hilton then told her crew that she wanted to go home and get some sleep after a late Thursday night out.

“It’s the first time I’ve been home in two years,” she told Carter.

With that, the group darted off to the Hilton compound in Southampton to rest up for both Hilton’s record label release party in Bridgehampton and her after-party at, you betcha, Boutique.

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Martha Stewart’s July 4th design tip: Express your pride for this country – and maybe the federal lawyers who serve it – by hanging a huge American flag from the eaves of your home.

That’s what the domestic diva did Thursday night, and it covered one-fifth of her Lily Pond Lane house.

But by yesterday afternoon, Martha seemed to have a change of heart. She had replaced the larger Stars and Stripes with two smaller flags that now tastefully hang from her porch.

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Is a famous East End landscape designer taking a dig at some of his big-name clients?

Perry Guillot – who has green-thumbed the plots of Aerin Lauder Zinterhofer, Sam Shahid, Coach creative designer Reed Krakoff and Harriet Weintraub – is being celebrated this weekend, and the joke may be on his well-heeled patrons.

Krakoff, along with Town & Country’s Pamela Fiori and Mecox Garden owner Mac Hoak, is throwing a party this evening for Guillot in honor of his book, “Privet Lives: An Imaginary Tale of Southampton’s Iconic Shrub.”

The book contains exaggerated illustrations of privet, otherwise known as hedgerows, which belong to the people who pay his way.

“He’s basically mocking the idea of power, position and money in the Hamptons,” a source told Diary.

Each of “Privet’s” funky, whimsical drawings comes with its own title, such as “The Party Planner,” “The Co-op Board President” and “The Proud Architect.”

“The game is to guess who Perry is referring to,” the source added.

Original drawings for the book will be on exhibit at Mecox Gardens and available for purchase through Aug. 3.

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Good God, man, this is the Hamptons.

A Boca Raton fellow, stopped for speeding in Southampton, found himself jailed overnight after “allegedly” offering a New York state trooper money to let him go, state cops said.

Stephen Chetek, 56, of Boca Raton, was headed to East Hampton for a pleasant holiday weekend when he was pulled over Thursday for lead-footing State Route 27.

Then Chetek did the unthinkable, “allegedly attempt[ing] to induce the police officer not to issue a traffic ticket by offering him $100,” state cops said in a release.

A simple speeding ticket soon turned into an arrest and a charge of third-degree bribery, a Class D felony punishable by over a year in prison.

After appearing before Southampton Town Justice Barbara Wilson yesterday, Chetek was released on his own recognizance, proving the best things in life are free.

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The phrase “a BB gun anymore” showed up by its lonesome in yesterday’s Diary.

Here’s the story that went with it:

An anonymous caller phoned the East Hampton Village police on June 25 and reported that an unknown woman was walking down Newtown Lane with a shotgun.

Police responded to find Claudja McDonnell of West 47th Street, Manhattan, carrying a BB rifle to a local hardware store to see if they had any parts for it.

According to the police report, an officer advised the 44-year-old woman “not to walk the street with a BB gun anymore.”