Friday, November 19, 2010

Getting to 3rd Base on the First Date; A Date with the TSA.

You know that feeling you get when you're all excited. The anticipation sets in. You feel anxious, yet a little intimidated by the big date. You know it's coming and you just can't wait!

As a result, you begin exercising trying to tone up just a little bit. So Folk thought about doing some squats or kettlebell throws to tighten up the thigh muscles. You know a motherfvcker wanna be prepared when those hands slip up the insides of the legs. You want the sensation to be positive to the hands that slowly make their way to the promise land where the bawlz of glory dwell.

You'll feel a slight release as those hands cup 'em and you'll take a deep breath, but Folk will be wondering if this Uncle Sam is enjoying this a little too much?

What? Y'all thought Folk was talking about a $exual experience with the lil lady or some other world prostitute from delinious twelve? Hell nawl! Folk talking about the upcoming trip on the motherfvcking airplane!Yeah fvckers, the TSA feeling motherfvckers down for the holidayz! Who'd woulda thunk that the Federal Government would begin handing out quickie hand jobs, breast gropes, and pu$$y taunts for free!?!?!

Of course we're being told that it's for security reasons to prevent any "incidents" from occurring in the friendly skies. You know, to protect us helpless American citizens. Uhhhhh... Dear Uncle Sam, this is kinda bullshyt! Well, not really. It isn't kinda bullshyt, it is bullshyt!

Terrorist blow up plane by taking over plane, TSA responds by upgrading door to pilot. Terrorist try to sneak bomb components on plane, TSA responds by limiting the "liquids" that passengers take on plane and mandating all luggage scanned. Terrorist try to blow up plane with shoe bomb. TSA begin requiring people to take their shoes off. Terrorist try to blow up plane with underwear bomb, TSA begin requiring people to take nekkid pictures and get felt up by collegiate drop outs getting paid minimum wage.

The point Folk pointing out is that the TSA is reactive. The TSA is acting as if the terrorist are stupid individuals that don't know what the fvck is going on. Like these terrorist are actually cave dwellers and don't have access to the news, the internet, or have fvcking common sense. Let a terrorist try to blow up a plane with a bomb that is jammed up said terrorist's rectum. TSA will be giving all of us prostate exams.

Now Folk wouldn't mind getting Folk's boys a run in with strangers hands as long as those hands were attached to a $exy azz motherfvcker who would handle Folk's boyz with the care and attention that they deserve and that Folk demands. Of course, Folk ain't going to be on CNN talk'n 'bout you touch my junk Folk gonna have TSA worker arrested. Nope. Folk a fvcking black man and have spent Folk's entire existence trying to avoid any confrontation with the po-po, and good lawd forbid a run in with the fed! Hell to the Nawl!

If anything, you might catch a Youtube video of some black dude enjoying this "intensive" pat down a little bit too much! Don't judge Folk! Shyt, to say that Folk got Uncle Sam to stroke Folk's d!ck and shove a hand up Folk's azz would actually make Folk smile.

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“He who warned uh, the British that they weren't gonna be takin' away our arms, uh by ringing those bells, and um, makin' sure as he's riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be sure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed.” -- Sarah Palin on Paul Revere