I want to know if we are weaning . . . Please correct me if I'm wrong about terminology here, but I am calling BFing when a baby actually drinks BMilk and nursing when they are suckling for comfort.

As of Oct. 19 we have been BFing for one year. I've been BFing on demand the entire time. She finally began sleeping through the night in early Sept., so she hasn't demanded it from 8pm-6am in about 7 weeks. There have been a few nights where she needed comforting due to teething where I brought her into the bed with me and let her nurse until she fell back asleep.

I decided long ago to do child-led. She is only demanding true BFing 2-3 times a day now. In the morning upon first waking up, which is usually around 6-6:30am, she truly BFeeds, taking a big meal of milk. At night she nurses, but I'm pretty sure she's only taking a little milk right at first, for maybe a minute, but continues to suckle for comfort until she falls asleep. Sometimes she wants to BF at her midday naptime which is around noon, and sometimes she only nurses.

Also, I am experiencing some weird emotional stuff. I'm getting tired very easily even though I haven't been sleep derived in weeks. My eagerness to do things I usually like to do has vanished. I'm experiencing ridiculous memory loss and not connecting the dots mentally the way a normal person does. I am feeling skittish, worried, on pins and needles. Maybe hormones are off the chart?

I'm not typical in that I am not sad about weaning per se. I have times when I know there will never be another time like this, where my daughter and I are such a symbiotic unit, where we are so interdependent in the healthiest of ways, the most positive, nurturing of ways. I get wistful about it, teary a little, but I am one who moves on quickly and I am sure we will find new ways of being close. Point being, that I don't think the emotional stuff is grief over the end of BFing. But I do think it's hormonal. anyway this is getting longwinded . . . any thoughts? are we beginning to wean? what should I be on the lookout for? thanks.

October 22nd, 2008, 08:09 PM

@llli*hoping.on.third

Re: Are we weaning?

Watching the thread for responses on the emotions. My little guy just turned one. I'm probably more sleep deprived (sleeps tops of 2 hours at a time), but my hormones and cognitive abilities seem way off very quickly.

October 22nd, 2008, 08:11 PM

@llli*green.momma

Re: Are we weaning?

Weaning starts when you first offer solids, so technically you started the weaning process quite a long time ago. :gvibes

It sounds as if you might have an early weaner, but 12 months is very young imo. Sometimes they lose interest for a bit then come back to it again. Mine did that right around 12 months too.

Toddler nursing is very rewarding, but it is so different than infant nursing. I have found it more enjoyable and humorous as my son gets older. Even if you are nursing 3-4 times, she might hang onto that for a VERY long time.

Congrats on the year milestone.

October 22nd, 2008, 08:19 PM

@llli*apron.strings

Re: Are we weaning?

I don't know much about the actual weaning part except that as babies begin solids, that begins the long-term weaning process.

With the emotional stuff, I, too, have been experiencing that as ds is nursing less often and I know that once "no end in sight" nursing is actually on the horizon. For me, letting go of that part of our relationship is very unnerving and causes anxiety. It's been a year and a half, something that has bonded us, something that occurs reliably everyday, many times a day. When he's ill, can't get back to sleep on his own, having a tantrum that only nursing can tame, nursing has been our stand-by. When that's gone, I'm going to have to come up with a new bag of tricks.

I have many questions about the actual endw of the weaning process that I don't want to ask because that means that it's really going to end. I don't want to ask questions like "once he's weaned for, say two weeks, and then all of the sudden he asks again, what do I do/say?" Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone.

I also wanted to just let you know that it would be advisable to ask you doctor just to be sure you're not suffering from depression. IME, my depression didn't have a singular, identified cause, rather either lots of little things or just nothing in particular at all. I would bet fluctuating hormones can have the effects you are feeling, but again, a doctor will know far more than I. Are you eating enough?

October 23rd, 2008, 08:39 AM

@llli*momof.olive

Re: Are we weaning?

Going to the doc this morning to discuss feeble cognition, mood swings, lethargy, etc. plus, since I'm an older mom (46) I may be suffering from weaning hormonal shifts AND perimenopause. YIKES! What a train wreck :lol I can laugh right now, but earlier this morning pre-coffee I felt like a labotomy patient.

Thanks for the responses.

October 23rd, 2008, 05:54 PM

@llli*jeannie.bean

Re: Are we weaning?

I agree with PP that "weaning" has probably been going on for a long time. I've been, I guess, actively weaning my DD in that I don't allow her to decide when we nurse but we are still nursing/bfing 4 times a day now. But, I totally know my hormones have been out of wack lately. I think partly I am very sad that Bfing is coming to an end but I know hormones have to do a lot with the emotional side. I'm glad that you are going to talk to someone about it...I think a lot of women don't really even know that weaning can cause the same sort of hormonal issues as having a baby

October 23rd, 2008, 06:56 PM

@llli*momof.olive

Re: Are we weaning?

Saw my personal internal medicine doc this morning. She thinks I have post-partum depression and that I have had it for a long time. She agreed, that we have been weaning for a while now but that my symptoms are classic PPD. The fact that I am still feeling very down, cognition/memory are thwarted, clumsiness, lack of desire to do things I usually enjoy, etc. -- these woudln't all neessarily be happening if my hormones were wacky due to BFing being over.

She did blood work anyway, and is going to do an ultrasound of an area where I have some pain to make sure it isn't anything else, but that's the diagnosis and I guess I need to do what I need to do to put it behind me. It won't go away overnight but at least now I know what the heck is going on.

October 23rd, 2008, 08:22 PM

@llli*apron.strings

Re: Are we weaning?

I'm glad you went. :thumbsup What did you think about the diagnosis-agree or disagree? Did it seem to make sense to you? How are you all going to treat it?

It makes me want to get in to see my doc. Thanks for being so open and honest.

October 24th, 2008, 07:24 PM

@llli*momof.olive

Re: Are we weaning?

I totally agree with the diagnosis. I have had depression for around 15 years. I had it licked with a combo of strategies I learned through cognitive therapy and low dosage of an anti-depressant. i really had it licked. I have always been a joyous person, a happy-go-lucky person. So I know the big diff between just being a little down and being truly, clinically depressed, I suspected I was over the last few months but put it down to sleep deprivation and lack of support from DH. So after she started sleeping through the night and I had a chance to catch up on ZZZZs, and the "black cloud" was still there, my cognitive abilities continued to be thwarted, and I was still dropping things, being clumsy and overtired, I knew something was seriously wrong and that it was time to quit dismissing it as something that would just go away. I feel better already knowing what the problem is, knowing that there are things I can do to move on and get well. I move on quickly once I determine the nature of a problem. My plan is to rest a lot more, increase my meds esp now that we are weaning, exercise more at the cost of not making as much money (I'm basically my own boss) and to get marriage counseling.

If you think you're depressed, don't waste time dismissing it or feeling ashamed to get a diagnosis that you are depressed.