Gov. must be using some secret recipe mind control

In a 2002 spoof of black exploitation films, Eddie Griffin plays an “Undercover Brother” sent to infiltrate a cigarette company.

Griffin accepts a mission to meld into white culture, hoping to thwart the efforts of “The Man” who desires to ruin black communities with a mind control drug. The drug is introduced to blacks through fried chicken, not tobacco as Undercover Brother learns.

In an outrageous scene, Gen. Warren Boutwell (Billy Dee Williams), a U.S. Army general based on Colin Powell, has his plans to run for president intercepted by The Man’s tainted chicken.

With cameras of the world assembled for Boutwell’s presidential announcement, the general’s big news is his intention to open a fried chicken franchise.

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The B.R.O.T.H.E.R.H.O.O.D. organization suspects “The Man’s” role in this change of heart. Enter Undercover Brother.

Who knew that this spoof would find relevance in Trenton where Gov. Chris “The Man” Christie has underspelled city hall officials and education leaders.

Forget about black exploitation, Christie has created a political plantation as minimal contributions or status quo produced adoration from Trenton schools Superintendent Francisco Duran.

Gov. Chris Christie continued his push for more school choices for students in struggling districts. He set aside $2 million for an “Opportunity Scholarship Grants” pilot. Christie said no school would see a decrease in state aid, Increases were minimal.

“I would like to thank the Governor for not making any additional cuts in funding,” Duran blubbered.

Have another piece of the Guv’s Northern Fried Chicken, Duran.

Students at Trenton Central High School walk into that dump without any measurable concern from the not so super Superintendent. Duran contributed these sad words for a Trentonian article.

“Currently, too many of the buildings in our district lack adequate technology and many of them are not suitable learning environments for students due to the physical repairs needed,” Duran stated.

If these schools “lack adequate technology” or “are not suitable learning environments” because of structural conditions then those students should receive education elsewhere.

If those endangered students should learn in more suitable settings then it bewilders how they remain hostages on Chambers St.

Trenton residents can dream of a $100 million-plus new or renovated high school but Gov. “The Man” Christie would rather students switch than put up a fight for a better building.

Trenton High remains a hellish hole, from leaky roof, to cracked walls, to dirty floors, right down to the wet boiler room.

Trenton expects to receive $25.4 million in transitional aid, more than the anticipated $18.7 million. New Jersey kicked in an extra $6 million for payment in lieu of tax agreements on several state buildings.

Essentially, the extra six million is money New Jersey owed Trenton.

Give Mayor Tony Mack a chance to wield that Wet Nap before another statement dipped in excruciation.

“This award amount exceeded last year’s award amount and far exceeds our expectations for this fiscal year. This is a major victory for our administration in that it shows our efforts to shore up Trenton’s structural integrity is being noticed,” Mayor Tony Mack said in a statement.

What? Trenton homeowners face a 19-cent increase in property taxes which will push the city’s tax rate to $3.88 per $100. Mack along with his Vandellas dance in the streets.

No wonder Gov. Christie implores his Department of Community Affairs wait staff to get more chicken over to the Mayor’s table.

The Christie administration has B.R.O.T.H.E.R.H.O.O.D. mayors accompanied by education leaders shuckin’ and jivin’ in urban cities. When the governor takes a day off from whipping them into a frenzy, they think his recession connects with kindness. In actuality, his fists have tired.

Gov. Christie chokes these chickens into submission until they say thanks for a measly $700,000. Thanks for not kicking our backs in. Thanks for no further depletion of our minimal resources. Thanks for absolutely nothing.

This is mind control as an ultimate force.

(More chicken over to the Mayor’s table. I see JoJo Giorgianni and Ralphiel Mack have arrived.)

Yeah, buddy!. Can you smell what Gov. Christie is cookin’?

Chicken.

L.A. Parker is a Trentonian columnist. Reach him at laparker@Trentonian.com.