Love Letters Aren’t Over — They’re Just Smarter, More Social

144.8 billion emails, 23.6 text messages and 2.5 social media posts are sent worldwide every day. Love letters have been largely reduced to simple two-line expressions that can never be read for specific, meaningful content.

Recipients of texts can be more confused than ever — what exactly was the intent of the smiley face following a canceled date? Even in our most intimate relationships, we often find ourselves caught up in the details of a five-word text message, thinking, “What did he mean by that?” Despite the endless options for connecting — across time and place, through text, images, video, drawings — many are left searching for hope in in messages as bare as “hope to see u soon”.

In the public imagination, the roles of technology have advanced from matchmaker to romantic partner. In Spike Jonze’s recent movie, Her, Samantha the Operating System, is not just a plausible girlfriend, but a completely mesmerizing one. Eventually, we see Her limitations: her hyper efficiency allows for a staggering infidelity. By the end of the movie, as we watch the main character and his best friend sitting on a roof looking at the sky, our interest and hope shift back to interpersonal relationships.

That’s why Intel and its research partners are exploring a range of ways that technology can promote interpersonal connectedness. In Verbalucce, we’ve developed software that analyzes the qualities and dynamics of communication to help people relate.

Verbalucce is intended to help people relate in 3 key ways:

1. Get in sync: In person when two people are really in sync, they will often mimic each other’s behavior, finish each other’s sentences, breathe and move similarly, use the same words and strike similar emotional tones when speaking. Digitally, though, it’s hard to know if someone is wincing or winking. We also can’t copy their gestures, which ultimately make us feel less connected. In Verbalucce, we are looking for digital indicators — in language style, use of emoticons, response time—of warmth, interest and other important relationship dynamics.

2. Experiment with self-expression: When we use Pinterest we consult and borrow someone else’s design style. We do something similar when we communicate verbally. Who hasn’t had a friend edit an email before sending it someone when we’re concerned about tone and style? Social coaching is nothing new — Cyrano de Bergerac featured the “whispering in the ear” method long ago and we see this practice echoed in the just released relationship coaching app, CrowdPilot. In Verbalucce, we are exploring how individuals can borrow the communication styles of others — be it a friend or a celebrity. Maybe it would help to sound like Jay Z for a day?

3. Resonate across cultures: Cultural mishaps are rampant, particularly as our friendships and collaborations span the globe. As we profile language styles of people in different cultures, computing will help us get smarter about how to flirt, joke or apologize.

Love letters aren’t over. They are just getting smarter, and more social.

Margaret (Margie) Morris is a clinical psychologist and senior researcher at Intel.