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Topic: This one time at Faire.... (Read 3008 times)

So with the Rage thread I was thinking that we could share our good tales of things that we have seen at Faire from the funny to the jaw droppingly stupid things we have seen people do.

This summer a pack of patrons was walking up the hill and well they seemed normal and as they got closer the kids were all clustered around the stroller and as they passed me the kids were all watching a portable DVD player. Yup a DVD player I had to stop them and say " Seriously?!!" The mom looked at me like I grew antlers and just kept walking.

wow. I have four kids, and know it can be hard, esp when they are little, to keep them entertained. I would NOT however, spend good money to take them someplace and then hook them up with dvds. Thats nuts. More fun, in that situation, to pay a sitter and just the adults go!!

I used to get weird looks, two of my kids were always on a kid leash. but they would run!!! lol ( I am enjoying this parenting phase...where the oldest are old enough to leave at home to watch the younger ones safely) lol and just me and dh get to go!!

This is my first faire summer.....probably the most fun (not funny, just fun) thing I have seen so far was the night before MPF. The pirate invasion was the night before, on the waterfront. That evening, we went back to the area to watch the big Grand Haven fountain (it lights up, and plays music...the water dances to the music). It was about 1030 at night, and the music choice that night was some disney pirate music. The pirates from earlier were down by the water, just dancing away, not a care in the world, little kids came down and danced with them some, too. We were up in the bleachers, and it was fun to watch. Made us all smile, and I wished I could have been a part of it somehow:) I think what made it fun was that although they were still dressed up in their outfits, it wasnt like...a put on, or fake...it was just plain happy fun.

One of the most entertaining "things" I saw at Faire was the lovely "lady" in full garb, who turned out to be a gentleman. He really wasn't trying to fool anybody, and actually reminded me of Clinger in MASH 4077. He had two oranges in his bodice, and a fan to preserve his modesty. When we had my daughter's fiancee arrested, the magistrate offered to let him go free, if he would marry the magistrate's "sister". (guess which maiden this was!)

Upon making several circles at a Faire, I observed one family of 3 walking about, teen behind with the usual cell phone. Every time I saw them she was still on it, oblivious to her surroundings altogether. Later that day we took an extended break at a pub. The same family happened along and shared our bench. Now Mom and Dad immediately struck up a conversation, asking questions and playing along with my shtick. The teen sat on the opposite bench, still completely lost in her cell phone.

Soooo....laying a long wink and a leer with a nod of my head towards the girl to Mom and Dad who immediately grinned wickedly back, I crossed over and placed my boot on the bench beside her and went into my deepest honey dripping English accent..."What's this, WHATS THIS? She hath a demon box with voices that flow forth...? Inconceivable! Art thou speaking to the other side, perhaps? Tell unkle Willie I said Good DAY! Or night, whichever it happens to be over there...

"You know that is WITCHCRAFT and all, stakes and burning come to mind, but DO tell meh....how many demons CAN one stuff into a box that size, 2, 3 perhaps? Just curious, not that IIIII would take part in such devilry *I smile at Mom and Dad, showing lots of fang* And tis Soooo amazing how one gets it attached to the face so securely, thou simply must give me the name of thy alchemist...NO NO, I know it is eating her face, out, OUT demons, go away, soon she will be inside that box, oh woe is me, save her Milord, saaaaaave her....!"

*By now Mom and Dad are nearly purple with laughter. And at the last bit even the teen had to put the phone down and smile.*

We parted ways and some time later we crossed paths again around the loop and wonder of wonders, the girl still had the phone off and was seemingly actually ENJOYING her surroundings at last...

I was at the Ohio faire in 2008 and about mid afternoon stopped to get lunch. I had stepped over to get my mug filled when I heard a voice behind me say "Go say hi to the pirate." I turned arouund with both hands full of food and drink to see a pair of ladies in mudane clothes with a stroller and a little boy, maybe all of 4 years old, who obviously wanted to say something but was too petrified to do so.

I set lunch down on a nearby bench and got down on one knee and asked him his name, he told me, and one of the ladies said he wants to be a pirate. I asked him if he had a hat and he goes to the stroller and pulls out a hat. So I asked if he had a sword. Again to the stoller and a sword appears. I rack my brain and ask about a ship. He has one, just not with him. By this time his mother has appeared (the other 2 were his grandma and aunt) and she mentions that Captain Jack Sparrow is his hero. Then it comes to me- do you have a crew I asked him. No, no crew.

I reach into a pouch and pull out one of those replica gold pirate coins that are obviously fake but to a 4-year-old are ABSOLUTELY real and tell him that he should save this and that he should use it to pay his crew. Mom asks if they can get a picture which of course they can. At this point it obvious that this is the highlight of his year and as they turn to leave I said to him "Take what you can..." and without hesitating he answers in a loud voice "... give nothing back!" We high five and they leave and his mother hung back for a bit to shower me with thanks. I said the pleasure was all mine and that I wasn't sure who had more fun just then, me or her son.

One of my favourites comes from this year's RenDezvous at CoRF (this has also been related elsewhere). Nimue and I were walking along, and coming toward us was a couple of young guys, and a young woman pushing a stroller. I nodded to the fellows as they continued to stare at me, and when they got up even to me, one exclaimed, "WHOA! That beard is gangster!"

Now, being the age I am, and somewhat out of touch with 21st century youth culture, I had no idea if that was a good thing, or a bad thing. (Someone here on the forum later assured me that it was a good thing). The lads struck up a conversation with me..."how long did it take?" and the usual banter.

Then the young lady asks if she could get a picture of me with her daughter, who I know was less than 6-months old. I agreed, expecting to bend down so as not to disturb the youngster. Aw hell no! To my surprise, she scoops the lass from her slumber and puts her in my arms! It's been a while since I held one so young...my own little one turned 37 this year...that's 37 years, not months. The wee one just looked up at me and tugged a little on the beard, and didn't cry a bit. It was actually quite sweet. I think Nim was actually quite surprised at how I reacted.

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Living life in the slow laneROoL #116; the Jack of Daniels; AARP #7; SS# 000-00-0013 I've upped my standards. Now, up yours....and may all your babies be born naked...

When I first started working in the Pecan Grove souvenir booth at Scarborough I had a mother and 2 young kids a boy 7 and girl 4 or 5 after greeting the mother as my lady the boy stated insistently the " She's not your lady she's my Daddy's lady" I'm sure this child is now on cast at some faire or will be soon.

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Lady De Rue Rue

I have seen a lot in my many years. But, this was completely new to me at the faire. I met a very nice man who was going to show me where the Barbarian shop was. As we were walking there, a young woman comes up to him and demands it is time for his "flogging". Next thing I know off his shirt goes he throws himself up onto a tree and she pulls out a whip and light whips him. Then another man appears to start filming the who thing, and I am not sure should I be taking pictures of this? Then the lady screams out, "get on your knees" and the man drops to his knees she continues to lightly flog him. After five minutes of this he gets up with a big smile on his face, asks the guy who was filming this, "Did you get everything?" The whole time this is going on people are walking right by not even noticing this. It was like an everyday event at Bristol.

When I first started working in the Pecan Grove souvenir booth at Scarborough I had a mother and 2 young kids a boy 7 and girl 4 or 5 after greeting the mother as my lady the boy stated insistently the " She's not your lady she's my Daddy's lady" I'm sure this child is now on cast at some faire or will be soon.

Out of the mouths of babes... LOL.Oddly enough that reminded me of something that happened to us this spring. While waiting for cannon we were sharing some shade with a couple who had a girl in a stroller and 2 boys between 5 and 7. The two boys had on their 'chainmail' and carried wooden swords. After watching us intently for awhile, the oldest finally worked up the courage to get my husband's attention and ask him about his sword. Don Juan pateintly explained that it had to be tied for going inside the village so he couldn't take it out for him to look at. Then the boy finally announced "You have holes in your jacket". Trying to keep a straight face Don Juan explained that the outer layer was slashed so that you could see the silk lining. From the look thwe boy exchanged with his mother, I could just see him trying that excuse next time he tore something.

A few years ago I was at the chainmaille shop at Scarby & overheard a teenage boy & his mom. The boy was looking at one of the shirts & his mom said 'You can't afford that'. Said kid pulls himself up & says 'I have $20 in my pocket & I can get what I want!'.

I wish I could have seen the look on the kids face when he realized exactly what $20 would buy.

The CRF faire is very close to the NASCAR racetrack and has a goodly number of race fans in attendance. One year as my kilted husband and I stood in the ale line I noticed a trio of older women watching a fourth woman reach for Ewan's kilt hem. As we all know, challenging someone to find out "what's under the kilt" isn't all that uncommon - so I trotted out my normal "what ye be seeking mistress?" line - to which she replied "I wanna know is he wearing unnerware?" So I replied the usual "tis nothing worn under me man's kilt tis all in fine working order".... that normally gets even the drunkest person to laugh and wander away. Not so this woman. She gets right up in my face and say "I'm a lesbian, I don't care if it works I just wanna know if he is wearing unnerware?" That just flummoxed me, I didn't know what to say, Ewan is just blithely ignoring the whole situation.... then from the back of the crowd I hear "Iffin you don't care about the engine woman - why you checking under the hood?"

There was a large group a family clearly granpa wanted to spoil his girls so he said fresh flower garlands for the lot of them. The ages were pre teen to maybe kindergarten age, so the girls and I got the garlands on their heads and all situated. The youngest the kindergardner was the one that was in my charge, I worry that the little ones may fuss with the fresh flower garlands so I told her that she needs to be nice to the flowers because thats where some fairies live. So while they were waiting for granpa to finish paying I hear the girls brother loudly say " But I dont see any fairies in there!" I look over and he is looking in the flowers on her head. It was so funny

One of my most cherised moments was my first time out to TRF in '09. I was seeing Sound & Fury fort he first time. We had come in a couple minutes late but it was very apparent how bawdy and hillarious it was. Now there are 2 sandwhich type sings say this is a PG13 show. The show as Romeo & Juilet and word v*gina comes up before long. Note that a mother with 2 boys later grade school age sit down next to us a couple benches down. There is this voice.... "Mommy, what's a v*gina?" OMG even the performers noticed and they said with the mike on "Did you not read the sign?"....The Mother grabed the kids and flew out of there like you wouldn't beleive it. I make that show one of my standards and I just fight to stay seated on my bench they make me laught so hard. Wonder what the shows gonna be this year