the blog for single, over-40 women

Does Life Begin with Marriage?

by Tammie Fickas on January 24, 2014

Image courtesy of Rawich/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

It was my first apartment and I wanted a blender so I could have margaritas with my friends. As I was looking at the different models a friend said, “You can’t buy a blender. If you buy all these kind of things, what are people going to get you for wedding presents?”

Well, I decided I wasn’t willing to put off margaritas for a wedding that wasn’t even on the horizon. Guess it’s a good thing I didn’t since that wedding has yet to happen. Had I listened to my friend, I would have spent these years in a minimally furnished apartment. Without a blender.

Growing up I believed that marriage was the only option for really living. Many of my high school daydreams were about how my life would start when Mr. Right showed up. During those years, though, my mom often told me there was nothing wrong with being single and living my life without Mr. Right.

Slowly, I’ve learned to live as a single person, but there were many things I put off until marriage. Owning a home, for instance. In those early years, it never occurred to me to buy a house by myself. It just wasn’t something I considered doing as a single person.

When my dad started talking to me about the benefits of home ownership, I was scared. The whole process frightened me and, honestly, I cried myself to sleep many nights in the weeks between securing financing, finding my little house, and closing on it. That was 14 years ago and there have been some tears and frustration at times, like when the furnace went out, or the front window leaked, or the washer hose burst in the middle of the night and flooded a good part of the lower level. Looking back, though, I don’t regret taking this step alone.

Sometime in my 30s, it dawned on me that I might never get married and all those things I put off may never happen. But I came to realize it didn’t have to be that way. Just like buying a blender or a house, I could live my life today and worry about marriage when and if it came. I needed to stop living within boundaries that didn’t need to be there.

What about you? Have you ever thought life will, somehow, finally start when you get married? Do you put off doing things or visiting places because you want to wait until you’re married? What’s one big thing you’ve done or would like to do regardless of your marital status?

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2 responses to “Does Life Begin with Marriage?”

Love this line: ” I needed to stop living within boundaries that didn’t need to be there.” Such wisdom in that. You may have just empowered a LOT of women with that line, married or not. I’m adding it to my list of great quotes.

Thanks so much for joining us at Girls Night In. And thank you for your sweet comment. I never planned to make a great quote, just wrote what the Lord revealed to me. It is my hope that this blog empowers many women to come!