A profanity laced blog about eating, running, CrossFitting, mothering, and whatever the hell else I feel like dumping into cyberspace.

Monday, September 8, 2014

Blogging the Menu: Accountability, Bitches.

So apparently I can't control what I eat unless I'm showing it to the world, so here we go again.

I had a ripping good August. Seriously, I lost like 7 pounds and was feeling pretty good about my little "lose 20 pounds" project. I was eating really well, did a little spontaneous half marry with the hubs on 8/16 (Madison Mini-great race. I had a shit finishing time, but the race was boffo.) and made it to my birthday feeling like a million bucks.

I'm 37. This officially puts me in my late 30s. It's fine. Truth be told I feel better now than I did in my early 20s thanks to all this goddamn clean living.

I miss cigarettes. Anyone else?

Then I had about a 5 day period where I just ate anything that wasn't nailed down. Because that's what I do. I sabotage myself.

I do not, however, sabotage other people. I signed up for the Lurong Living Paleo Challenge again this year because it was really fun last year. Seriously, 8 weeks of perfect Paleo eating and horrible workouts and it was fun. I think because of the team nature of it-if we all do well as a group there are some pretty substantial prizes to be won for the gym, and that's a great motivator to not fuck up. You aren't just screwing yourself, you're potentially screwing up everyone else's hard work, and in my book that is not okay. We also get to suffer as a group (no beer at Packer games, no shitty Starbucks lattes), and I learned a lot about what a group can accomplish together when everyone is on the same page. The support was great.

This year the hubs has signed on to join me (not officially as he's not a member at the box), but he says he'll walk the walk with me for the whole time frame except for his birthday and I guess I can't really fault him there.

So what did I eat yesterday? I was such a good girl for the most part. Voila.

I'm on this week, so my day starts at midnight from a food perspective. I generally eat a meal at midnight, a snack at 3am, and a meal at 6am. This seems about right for controlling the midnight munchies. Last night it was leftovers.

I gotta finish up this rice/quinoa before Lurong. Neither one is allowed.

I had been bringing what amounted to a dinner split into two portions for midnight/3am but that didn't work for me. I crave sweets overnight, so I answer that craving with a sweet snack like these grapes. I add in the eggs for more staying power.

Snacky snack. You'll be happy to know the eggs peeled beautifully.

It's getting on to Honeycrisp season in these parts and I am ecstatic. I am obsessed with these apples and their prettier, sluttier sisters the SweeTangos. I will be driving my ass to Door County and/or the Apple Store twice a week for these tangy little hussies.

So the black polish and thumbie sleeve make this shot very "I'll get you my pretty."

I love black nail polish.

I have been using my snazzy new egg cooker courtesy of some of my box buddies. Seriously, I got an egg cooker from friends because I bitch a lot about eggs. Squeaky wheel, people, squeaky wheel. It also makes poached eggs, which is pretty boss because poaching eggs the regular way? Blows ass. Julia Child can suck an oeuf with her perfect little ovals of fabulousness. I always end up with one beautiful poached egg and the intrauterine contents of one alien. BUT. Now my egg cooker can poach them for me and I can just enjoy. Not quite as awesome when you have to nuke your breakfast, but still pretty awesome.

Apple carrot sausage hash with an oeuf.

Then I went home, turned on the tranquilizing fan of DEATH and slept like a corpse for 7 hours. It was glorious. I should note that Sunday was an "awake" day as the light of my life was working so I was a bag of shit when I got home from work.

After my death nap, I went to the girl child's Brownie meeting. They had monster blueberry muffins for snack. I resisted in favor of another one of these tasty bitches.

GAWD, I love these things.

Since we are in dire need of a trip to the grocery store, we had no plan for dinner. We went to Mackinaw's and I had coconut shrimp. They ran out of sweet potato fries (BASTARDS) so I had the home made potato chips. There's actually a lot more veg than chips there, which is hard to see. I should've had double veg and skipped the potato completely...but I am WEAK.

The shrimps were tasty.

The man around whom I've built my life and I both registered for the Beat the Blerch virtual half marathon courtesy of The Oatmeal. If you haven't read his comics you must go to www.theoatmeal.com right this second and read everything. I'll wait.

Ok? Ok. We got our swag today, which included a frosting flavored lip balm and an eensy bag of Gummi Bears. I ate them. I'm not sorry.

So teeny and cute!

The Blerchandise is pretty rad. I'm not sure when I'm going to do the run...likely at the end of September or beginning of October. The non-virtual is 9/21, but I'm working that weekend and no. Just...no. I'll pick a perfect weather day and run down the FRT. There is a nifty medal, a nice shirt, some awesome stickers, and best of all? A BLERCH STRESS BALL. A squeezy Blerch! I'm going to keep him at work. Maybe he'll keep me from eating all the things.

How awesome is this?

This weekend the most handsome man in the world and I are going to Portland, OR to run back to back half marathons at the Oregon Half and the Boring Half. The Boring is an inaugural and will be super tiny. I am way past stoked about getting a Boring t-shirt and Boring medal. The Oregon half starts and ends at Oktoberfest, so I will be all about beer and sausages (when am I not all about sausages) on Saturday. Sunday post Boring I will be smashing VooDoo Donuts into my face as Lurong starts Monday and it will be all good girl all the time for 2 months. It's a good thing I can have sausages on Lurong. No beer though.

I've never been to Portland, and I'm pretty excited about the trip. I'm going to get to hang out with some friends of my beloved as well as meet the man behind www.teamneonrunning.wordpress.com

This year I'll have 2 "busy hands" projects for Lurong. A pair of socks that I auctioned (if the freaking yarn ever shows up!!) and a pretty involved cardigan sweater. The goal will be to finish both before the challenge is over. Why busy hands? Because knitting hands aren't shoving shitty food into one's pie hole. No food near the knitting when I knit with the good stuff!