Saturday, December 17, 2016

Winters glow is here again
I'm back in Utah getting used to being in my skin
My life here is different than the life in Idaho
It's a constant adjustment sometimes I don't know
I belong where I am, but it's hard to do
when your alone on this path every things new
My heart is open to love again
but the universe will choose when that will begin
each day at a time, I conquer each step
to find my way and do my best
Where I belong, is a constant goal
knowing myself, so I will really know.....

Monday, September 26, 2016

The normal I begin to feel
is when I'm with my friends
living life and moving on, I get some good relief
the little things in life to see, the twinkle in an eye
the laughter at the way we are, staring at the stars
our own normal sometimes we take for granite when life is good and fresh
my healing process continues as my normal sometimes rests
seeing beauty everywhere
it's simply quite amazing
with butterflies in the air......

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

The flower I am unfolds each day
as I peel back the layers as the sun finds it's way
As I search for my answers of how I became me
It becomes more clear, as the pedals unfray
The bigger picture emerges as life moves ahead
My heart opens up like the flowering rose
With each pedal falling from a sensitive pose
Our lives are mere raindrops on this thing we call earth
figuring out ourselves from our time of birth

Monday, May 16, 2016

I woke up this morning with my grandmas hug
fast asleep I was
I don't know if it was a dream or was it her?
It felt so real, as my heart lay still
It wrapped all around me, inside and out
Her arms wrapped around me without a doubt

She once came to me after she died
I asked all the questions of how and why
she answered all of them so many I asked
but the second I awoke they were gone in a flash

The feeling was left of all that we are
the positive goodness is never far
so as I live day by day
I feel the love and hugs of my Grandmas way

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Where do I belong? I belong to me
Today I had an epiphany
I've summed up my life, it belongs to me
I never really knew that, how can that be?
I took it back and here it is
Now what it becomes and how it evolves
is up to the universe, but now I'm involved~~~

Sunday, February 14, 2016

Being real is being still
reaching inside and seeing how I feel
I need my own space to feel and grow
to stretch my limits
to see what I know
to see what I want
to see what I don't
to see how my life unfolds
and what just won't~~~~

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Being empowered with our life's journey
is an experience we should all savor
I'm learning to take it in small bites
to truly know it is ours to savor and share
no one knows our path like we do
so to own it is powerful to hold it in reverence and peace
it's not exactly an easy thing to settle into
when you've been on your journey all along
and not savored it like you should, took it for granite and moved along

coming through pain has taught me to look for
what I have gained and not what I have lost
I am gaining a new appreciation for myself
that I can truly love~~~~~~

Monday, January 25, 2016

I belong to emotion, don't exactly know what
I'm writing this blog and it's making me relive my heartaches and emotion
It's reflecting time, but it hurts

From joy to tears, so many years
the memories are clear and forever dear
how to keep moving forward is the key
I need to just focus on staying me
being true, being blue, being happy, being sad

I'm not on the outskirts of life anymore,
but I sometimes retreat and want to close doors,
I have to remind myself of each piece that comes
to embrace all windows
keeping my heart and mind open to experiences of
the spirit guiding me forward~~~

My heart has a peace
I think that it needs
I know what to do, I've planted the seeds
spring is coming I'll be happy to know
that the sparkling sun, will soon melt the snow~~~

Friday, January 22, 2016

Today I belong to free fall mode
I don't know exactly what that means
falling into sad, falling into the unknown?
Where do I belong today?
why must I always know?
I guess it's my restless mind, my restless heart, my restless spirit
I don't know
I just don't know, it feels like free falling~~

Monday, January 18, 2016

I belong to my friends love and comfort
not knowing how long I will belong to the beauty of these moments
is a beauty in itself
constantly belonging to the moments in time and knowing that truth
trying not to get ahead, or behind myself
getting out of my own way is probley my biggest challenge
absorbing the light within, to feel that more deeply, daily
I care about who cares and being on this journey of life~~

Friday, January 15, 2016

I belong to reinventing myself some more
being the person I choose to be
I choose to be the free spirit I feel, that only means I'm free of my own chains
I can still belong to the love of others
open arms and heart to new people and possibilities of myself
feelings that grow bigger
spirit that seeks more
more of what life has to offer in the quest for reinventing
I belong to so many places, my heart is spread around
so I should belong to the moments of time
where I am, but that is not so easy to do~
to constantly feel and be present and mindful in every second of the day
can be exhausting~
It's time to free fall again,
but knowing there's always someone there to catch me~~

Friday, January 8, 2016

I belong to the arms of love and friendship
I feel like I'm finally being held up by a greater spirit than I
even though I've prayed many times for the help, it comes in it's own time
Where do I belong? I still don't know that answer
maybe we're not meant to know
today I belong to the warmth of my own spirit and the possibilities
that life has in store for me
so now I will continue forward and live~~~~~

Monday, January 4, 2016

I do belong to the wonderous universe
and the wondrous mystery of a renewed friendship and a new kind of love
a healing friendship that takes my breath away
washes away some sadness
who knows how this will play out? none of us ever know
so to take life slow and give it time to grow
a new phase in life now in this new year, new beginnings for my heart
two broken souls with hearts speaking to each other
for each a new start~~

About Me

I am the mysterious Gypsy Traveler

This is my healing journey through grief, after loosing the love of my life June 2014....

to read from the beginning start from June, 2015.

I know I'm not alone on this journey, but sometimes it just doesn't feel like that. Sometimes the grief takes over and I ask myself everyday "Where do I belong?"

This is my story, it's for myself, but I have chosen to share this and if it helps or touches anyone then that's a very good thing.

I'm sure most people ask themselves this question sometime in their lives.

I am conflicted with living two lives, I am from Utah, but spent the last 18 years in Idaho, feeling like I belonged some where, now knowing that my life turned upside down and will never be the same.

For now I don't have to decide where I belong?, no one is making me decide? Why am I? I am just trying to belong to wherever I am and have that be my home. Sounds good on paper, but can't quite seem to do it, my heart is torn in half.

I belong to myself, I belong to the wind, I belong to my friends and back again. I belong to the day that engulfs me with sun. I belong to the universe on a path to reinvent myself and have fun.....

Continued on the next pages are my journal entries from April 2015 and up to the now and I will continue my journey forward to see if it's possible to answer my question~~or not?