HotUKDeals Of The Day - Monday 3rd May

It’s a bank holiday and you’re probably bored out of your tiny mind. Why not try and alleviate some of the tedium by wantonly spending some cash? Let Bitterwallet be your guide to help you get the most for your dosh.

First up comes the highly-rated budget Asus UL30A laptop, for only £349.00. It’s less than an inch in thickness so it’s highly portable but with just enough weight for you to use it as an impromptu Frisbee and fell a nearby enemy. Always useful.

Not only that, it also has a amazing nine-hour battery life, meaning that you could watch the original uncut version of Das Boot almost twice before the thing ran out of juice. That’s an enormous boon, and here at Bitterwallet, we’re always on the lookout for enormous boons…

Next comes talk of a bicycle sale. With spring in full swing, now is the ideal time to kid yourself that you’re going to get fit and that cycling is the way to do it. You’re wrong – statistics show that you’ll almost certainly die.

If you’re still convinced that you genuinely will become a cycling addict and that the thing won’t just rust itself up in your shed before you bung it on Freecycle, there’s a wide range of discounted bikes available from just £175.00.

Finally today, if you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to operate a laptop or ride a bike while hindered by a robot arm, you can get a glimpse of the beauty/horror of such a situation with this – a Darth Vader robotic arm kit.

A replica of the arm that is sported by the big man in the Star Wars films, except we’re pretty sure that Vader didn’t build his by himself. You, however, can and it’s all yours for only £9.77. Ripping off your real forearm and attaching this thing to the bloodied stump is not recommended.