Monday, November 11, 2013

The danger of Xmas cards

Saturday morning my Christmas cards arrived. Well, then I put myself to work in the dangerous task of enveloping Christmas cards. The worst part of preparing the Christmas cards is the dangerous manipulation of envelopes.

What? It's too early to worry about Xmas cards? Not really. I consider this an achievement. Previously I considered ordering cards before Christmas a feat. Now the feat is to order the cards with enough time to send them to Brazil. Maybe if I send them tomorrow, they get there before Christmas. No, friends, when it comes to sending things to Brazil, nothing is too early. Send them three months in advance and pray that they get there this year. If they ever even get there.

But as I was saying, the worst part of preparing the Christmas cards is the dangerous manipulation of envelopes. Yes, envelopes are extremely dangerous tools. And its rampant handling during the holidays is a threat to the physical integrity of people who manipulate them.
Tongue, lips and fingers, are all showing different sorts of damage caused by renowned paper cutting.

Paper is a very powerful sharp object . It cuts with such power that is requires only a slight rubbing of the cutting part of the paper on the skin in any unwary user.
The worst part of it is how much it hurts . The paper cut hurts like misery. I've cut myself with a razor blade before...

I am here obliged to clarify confusion in the boys' minds. Yes, women also use razors, guys! Surprised? Thought we only used Veet or wax? Okay, some of us even use those, but there are parts of our body that we can not go in and wax, and I would not dare use Veet. Then what do you do? How do you guys think we do to stay smooth? I can guarantee to you guys it is not because of our Indian blood. Most girls you know do not have much of that Indian heritage. In my family, to my disgrace, indigenous heritage was left there with my grandmother. The hairs that do not ever whiten, the skin that never gets old... My family turned white, and with whiteness came all the setbacks of the white race. The worst thing is not it... I was also left with the setbacks of the black race - the kind of stink that only black people have. yes, the setbacks of my rich colorful heritage was all that was perpetuated in my genetic make. I feel sorry for my future children - they will only inherit the trash of my mixed ancestry.

But I must confine myself to the subject of the razor . The question is - since most of us are not Indians - except on April 19 - shaving is necessary. So I have had my share or razor cuts. And I can say without fear of error that the paper cut is more painful than the razor cut.