Victor Meldrew would back McEnroe's shot of nostalgia

Perhaps you have read of a new film called These Old Broads, starring Elizabeth Taylor, Shirley Maclaine, Joan Collins and Debbie Reynolds, about a group of ageing Hollywood actresses. Inexplicably it came to mind, in the nicest possible way of course, at the launch of this week's Honda Challenge.

The annual tennis joust, which kicks off this evening at the Royal Albert Hall, is part of what is politely called the Champions Tour.

'Seniors' used to be the vogue word, but now someone has hit on a whole new way of glossing over the passing years.

The soothing 'Champions' is altogether kinder and more respectful.

That respect is well merited, to judge by the scores of press present at the Hilton on Park Lane as the event's stars banged the publicity drum.

Bjorn Borg and John McEnroe took centre stage, alongside charismatic support from Pat Cash, Mats Wilander and Ilie Nastase.

Despite - sorry, guys - 210 years and 42 Grand Slam titles between them, they looked every bit as well preserved as La Collins, with nary an ounce of help from Revlon. An enviable skill. Even Nastase appeared somewhat trimmer than of late.

We of a certain age positively glowed with the nostalgia of it all, warming ourselves on the instant rush of memories.

Peering at the view from the hotel's 28th floor, the day was so clear that the years gone by could be glimpsed with perfect clarity as Borg and McEnroe chewed over their ancient rivalry for the umpteenth time.

Those wishing to see that rivalry re-enacted in London have but this week in which to do so, for this is the last time Borg will play the Honda Challenge. He is retiring again, in that special way of his which means he will continue to play now and again.

Hence this week's tournament venue is especially fitting. After all, Frank Sinatra made all his retirement appearances at Francis Albert Hall.

According to Borg, he is quitting the Champions Tour because he wishes to travel less, and is vague about what he will do instead.

Previous retirements have been taken up with flogging various lines of clothing which never did his bank balance many favours. If only he would start marketing his personal elixir of youth, the guy would be businessman of the year in no time.

A generation after his salad days, the 44-year-old Swede looks several billion times better than when he was playing. Joanie, Liz and all of us old broads would kill to get our hands on whatever formula has kept him looking this good.

Tut tut. So much talk of age. It does not go down well with some on the Champions Tour, most notably - you'll never guess - McEnroe. He was in fine form, getting all worked up about Venus and Serena Williams' claims that either sister could legitimately take him on and beat him.

"It seems to be okay for her [Venus] to insult me and call me an old man," he fumed, albeit reasonably," he said.

"Anyone who knows anything about tennis knows a top woman cannot beat a top man. Marion Jones won the Olympic sprint titles by a mile this summer, but she doesn't go around claiming she could beat the top men and no one would listen if she did.

"Yet credibility is given to this girl, just because some 55-year-old guy (Bobby Riggs) threw a match 25 years ago against Billie-Jean King."

The old broads would have been proud of him. Scratch your eyes out, Venus.

Of course, McEnroe at 41 is not in the least old. All the same, it was quite eerie how one's ears strained in the hope of hearing him exclaim: "I don't believe it!"

But no one, not even Venus Williams, has yet been brave enough to ask McEnroe if he is familiar with the name Victor Meldrew.