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The Heroes of The League

Hi fellow summoners, I am The Don. Below is a poem I wrote during my spare time to show my appreciation and love for the game. All the champions are mentioned. Some have 1 stanza dedicated to them, others have more. I hope you enjoy reading it as I spent a lot of time working on it. Please feel free to leave a thumbs up (if you liked it of course) as well as comment below.

I posted the same thread on the forums of my main server which is EU West. The link to the thread in the Fan Fiction section is: http://euw.leagueoflegends.com/board/showthread.php?p=9047013#post9047013 whilst the link for the thread in the General Discussion section is http://euw.leagueoflegends.com/board/showthread.php?p=9047164#post9047164
I thank you all and enjoy

The Heroes of The League

Greetings fellow summoners,
This is something I felt I must do.
A poem dedicated to all the League’s heroes,
I felt they deserved some respect too.

I’ve written something on every champion,
Of course, with what I said you might disagree.
But I sincerely beg you dear summoners,
Don’t be too harsh on me.

OK I better start now,
Wow that’s a long champion list.
With your support I’m sure I’ll manage,
Just pray for my brain and for my wrist.

Ahri is a beautiful champion,
There are few as attractive as her.
She is still immensely dangerous,
And of this you should be aware.

Hey what is happening to me?
I’m falling in love with a fox.
Well, it’s not completely my fault,
That in my eyes she absolutely rocks.

I remember Akali driving me crazy,
With her kamas she’ll end your life in a sec.
She’ll dash into you and in a moment it’s over,
Everytime I couldn’t help but saying “What the heck?”

Alistar is a Minotaur,
Please stop calling him ‘cow’,
How does he resemble this animal?
Please tell me, how?

Amumu is just a mummy,
All he wants is to play.
What I don’t understand is
Why he looks so sad every day.

Amumu is rarely targeted,
In fights he has no reason to be stressed.
So again I wonder Amumu,
Why are you always depressed?

I so adore Anivia,
Why can’t people see?
High skill is required to play her,
It’s more than just pressing ‘R’ and ‘E’.

But if you meet a fed Anivia,
All you can do is pray and beg.
She can never be underestimated,
Not even when she is an egg.

Annie is a dark child,
So much evil in a little girl, I’m amazed.
How can a child be so cruel?
How on Earth was she raised?

In team fights she is so useful,
If you’re squishy you won’t survive a fight.
But if you do manage somehow,
You’ll just fall to ignite.

Many girls have pet kittens,
This one has a bear.
Normal children are sweet and innocent,
But with this one, you’re in for a scare.

Ashe is an AD Carry,
Her ultimate will fit any comp.
If you get farmed and fed with her,
There’s no doubt you will pub stomp.

I remember Ashe being more popular,
I mean she’s still good at kiting and clearing waves.
But even though she’s still so useful,
She just can’t match Ez, Corki or Graves.

Blitzcrank is not unpopular,
His ‘Rocket Grab’ is what makes him shine.
It comes at you out of nowhere,
Before you know it, you’re far from fine.

You can’t miss the guy on fire,
He is the champion Brand.
How cool would it be if I met him?
I need to remember not to shake his hand.

In a team he’s an asset,
In an instant he’ll set everyone ablaze.
Oh, my Brand is now legendary,
Dear enemy, just give up and stay in base.

Caitlyn is the Sheriff of Piltover,
She has range only a few can match.
She is not summoned often however,
But this can change with the next patch.

I don’t get Cassiopeia,
She claims that I found her beautiful once.
To be honest I never knew her,
Anyway I’d go for her sister if I had the chance.

Just don’t get caught in her ultimate,
She’ll stun you with her ‘Petrifying Gaze’.
How much damage is she doing?
Well you did feed her in the laning phase.

Cho’Gath is one to look out for,
He is a huge and mighty beast.
Imagine those poor Yordles,
Being the main dish for his feast.

Corki is a strong AD Carry,
With his abilities he can create a mess.
I get so tired when laning against him,
He always increases my level of stress.

Never let your guard down against Darius,
Oh, you are laughing at his build.
So what if he got tanky items?
Either way, you’ll still be killed.

It’s nice to have Darius on your side,
Oh my, he just made a kill steal.
I don’t mind as long as he carries,
Let him enjoy his hearty meal.

Diana is not easily countered,
After all, she has the power of the moon.
What power is that I wonder?
Who cares, as long as she’s nerfed soon.

With ‘Lunar Rush’ she’ll dash towards you,
The jungler fed her, now there’s no chance.
It’s over why should I bother,
I’ll AFK in base and hit /dance.

She wasn’t banned so the enemy picked her,
Today was really not my day.
She killed me so quickly in team fights,
I’ll have to see that again on LoL Replay.

Dr. Mundo has language issues,
Perhaps English classes will help him with this.
His appearance also has problems,
His grotesqueness is not easy to miss.

His favourite word is “Mundo”,
All he says is his name over and over again.
Why is this guy so egocentric?
He even cries “Mundo” when he’s slain!

This champion is quite a decent jungler,
He starts from red then heads off to blue.
Mundo I know you go where you please,
But, honestly, what did the golems ever do to you?

Draven has quite the ego,
He believes he is so great.
Dear Draven, I have something to tell you,
You’re considered unviable mate.

OK Draven stop saying you are awesome,
I seriously don’t know of what you are so proud.
When you’re summoned by the enemy,
I can’t help but laugh out loud.

Ah Evelynn, she was a ward once,
Now she’s used in mid.
In an instant she’s behind you,
When she wants she goes off the grid.

We shouldn’t forget Ezreal,
How many times do I have to tell you that he is a dude?
Why are you so disrespectful summoners?
Stop being so rude.

He’ll quickly teach you a lesson in battle,
He’ll overpower you with his ‘Mystic Shot’ and ‘Essence Flux’.
Why is he summoned in every game nowadays?
I remember people saying that he’s useless and that he sucks.

Fiddlesticks might be a scarecrow,
But I doubt you’ve ever seen one like him.
And again he got me in his ultimate,
Things for my team are looking grim.

I doubt if you can ever beat Fiora in a duel,
A sword fighter as good as her I’ve yet to see.
She can lunge and she can also parry,
If you’re low on HP you’d better flee.

Oh then there’s Fizz the Tidal Trickster,
Why is he mistaken for a fish?
You won’t survive him, I tell you,
Not even with Soraka and her ‘Wish’.

His burst damage is incredible,
If you meet him you’ll just die.
Well I had offered to face him,
Why did I do that? Why?

Stop raging at me summoner,
I fed him yes that’s true.
When his ultimate hits my champion,
Just tell me, what can I do?

Galio is the Sentinel’s Sorrow,
Just don’t get caught in his “Idol of Durand”.
His other abilities are also useful,
In team fights he’s perfect at landing a hand.

Oh yeh there’s Gangplank that bloody pirate,
He’ll destroy you with ‘Parrrley’ and his ‘Grog Soaked Blade’.
Oh, why is that Gangplank supporting?
Of course, my bot lane has to be premade.

There is also the Might of Demacia,
Garen is his name.
His ultimate is interesting,
It normally causes people to flame.

You usually find Garen in brushes,
Most probably camping in a tent.
Just face check if you don’t believe me,
And get owned by his ‘Judgement’.

There’s a hero that holds a barrel,
Gragas is his name.
He looks very much like a sphere,
Oh my God that joke was lame.

OK, you get the picture,
He is quite big a guy.
Despite his weight he’s quite agile,
Saying he’s slow would be a lie.

Please bear with me my friends,
There is still a long way to go.
It’s Riot that created these champions,
It’s useless blaming me bro.

Let’s talk about Graves next,
“Tons of Damage” describes him best.
Again I have to lane against him,
Now this will be the real test.

His ‘Buckshot’ will damage you greatly,
To escape he can use ‘Quickdraw’.
Seriously this champion can do anything,
Oh come on, he’s just an outlaw.

Hecarim looks like a mighty champion,
He lunges at you from afar.
Wow that weapon of his looks really dangerous,
No doubt that will leave a scar.

There’s one hero who’s so frustrating,
When laning against him it’s like fighting a fort.
And even if you manage to deal some damage,
He’ll recall and come back with “Teleport”.

Of course it’s Heimerdinger,
His turrets just drive me crazy.
No offence Heimer, I find you boring.
To play you one must be really lazy.

And what to say about Irelia?
So many claim she is OP.
Be patient in game and focus,
You will survive her, you’ll see.

Janna, in my eyes, is pretty awesome,
She’ll send anyone flying with her ‘Howling Gale’.
Her ‘Monsoon’ is so valuable in battle,
This ability is what differentiates a pro Janna from a fail.

Next we have Jarvan IV, the Exemplar of Demacia,
Royal blood flows through his veins.
In battle he proudly carries his Demacian standard,
Sadly many say that late game his power wanes.

Jax is called the Grandmaster,
If I said he’s powerful, I wouldn’t be wrong.
Who cares about the remake?
He always was and will be super strong.

It is said he ‘was’ overpowered,
I’m starting to think the ‘was’ is a mistake.
So what if his weapon is a lamppost?
Please be careful for your whole team’s sake.

Jayce is the Defender of Tomorrow,
I wonder who’s the defender of today.
My jungler died to him while defending the turret,
Seriously mate why on earth did you stay?

His weapon is what makes him special,
From a ranged champion he can become melee.
In my opinion he’s not easily countered,
But, of course, you’re free to disagree.

Many ignore Karma,
It makes me feel sorry for her.
Why is she so neglected?
To me it’s all a blur.

I mean, she also has abilities,
With which she can hurt, shield or heal.
I tried to pick her in champion select,
But everyone made such a big of a deal.

Is it her ‘Mantra’ that’s the problem?
Or maybe her passive is to blame.
Maybe the other supports are just better,
I should pick them to avoid the flame.

Karthus is known as the Deathsinger,
He’s solid proof that the dead can be killed.
He is quite evil and creepy,
Not a hero for the good-willed.

Poor Kassadin tried to silence his mother once,
It seems it didn’t turn out too well.
I hope this isn’t the reason,
For making my laning phase hell.

Of course I’m referring to when he’s against me,
His purple blob screws my every combo.
That’s it Kassadin it’s over!
I’ll pick a bruiser and go all Rambo.

Katarina has quite the figure,
All the more reason for me to stare.
It’s not my fault I’m not focusing,
She should find something more decent to wear.

To be honest I’m not complaining,
It gives me the urge to play.
And when the Kitty Cat skin was introduced,
Oh that absolutely made my day.

Kayle is known for her saves with ‘Intervention’,
Apart from this, she can also empower her auto attacks.
I believe she’s a really useful champion,
I mean, she even has a debuff that stacks.

What about Kennen the flippin’ ninja,
Lightning is his greatest friend.
Heroes with CC are picked often nowadays,
Well, let’s face it. That has always been the trend.

He charges at you with his ‘Lightning Rush’,
He’ll annoy you with his ‘Mark of the Storm’.
Even a nub can do serious damage with him,
To own with him you really don’t need to be on form.

Kha’Zix looks really scary,
Both in strength as well as looks.
He’s so ferocious and aggressive,
He’s like no creature I’ve read about in books.

If you’re squishy you stand no chance against him,
He’ll leap at you over any wall, river or hill.
Oh no, he still managed to catch me,
I forgot that ability refreshes upon assist or kill.

Kog’Maw is also quite popular,
This could be due to his range.
His moves are also quite attractive,
I hope his laugh and dance don’t change.

His ‘Living Artillery’ will hunt down any champion,
He can also slow with his ‘Void Ooze’.
Even Nashor falls quickly to this hero,
Basically if he’s fed, you’re sure to lose.

It’s true I’m praising this champion,
But not because there’s somebody I wish to impress.
Actually, there might be someone,
Go on, just take a guess.

It’s so tough to lane against Le Blanc,
Once she reaches ‘6’ you’re good as dead.
Many will tell you she is useless,
They even say this when she’s fed.

These poor summoners don’t understand,
She goes in and bursts an enemy down.
Yes please, keep saying she is useless,
Oh, why are you wearing that frown?

Why does everyone pick Lee Sin?
Why do people think he is easy to play?
Please summon him when you’re truly ready,
Or your team will have a price to pay.

A good Lee Sin is always welcome,
Even though such summoners are hard to find.
A good Lee Sin can do anything,
It makes you wonder whether he’s really blind.

Leona the stun bot is also summoned often,
Her utility is the key to her fame.
Please believe me when I tell you,
That ‘Crowd Control’ is her middle name.

We shouldn’t ignore Lulu either,
As well as her little pet ‘Pix’.
This champion is really helpful to allies,
This is most evident when she reaches level six.

Her abilities are very interesting,
She can silence and even slow.
But there’s nothing more entertaining,
Then her ultying a fully-feasted Cho’.

There’s a mage who loves the light,
Of course, it’s Lux the Lady of Luminosity.
She has good range and she can snare,
She can also slow you with her ‘Lucent Singularity’.

Oh so I have to take on Malphite?
To be honest I’m not so keen.
He’ll toss you in the air with his ultimate,
Before you land you’ll already have a grey screen.

Malzahar is a pretty cool hero,
He can silence and suppress you at will.
It’s strange that some people underestimate him,
Well, this will change when he gets the kill.

But Malzahar shouldn’t take all the credit,
His voidling also does a great deal.
I feel sorry the poor thing is so disregarded,
Little voidling, I honestly know that feel.

Maokai tosses his saplings,
He uses them to ward all around.
Little do they know they don’t have much time left,
Once they hit the ground.

Fair enough Mao is just a tree,
But when he falls it brings tears to my eyes.
Look at his death animation closely,
Isn’t it sad the way he dies?

Master Yi is the Wuju Bladesman,
He has speed only few can match.
Seriously why are you guys chasing him?
Against him you can never win a game of ‘Catch’.

Miss Fortune is a well-known carry,
And many like her loads.
Is it because she is powerful,
Or is it ‘cause she shows more skin than clothes?

Don’t give up now summoners,
We are half way there.
Feel free to grab a drink or two,
But when it comes to alcohol, I do advise you to care.

Next comes Mordekaiser,
Because I clicked twice he called me a fool.
Shut up you’re just a champion,
I am the summoner, you are my tool.

Oh Morgana you’re so powerful,
You can own any team.
Be it in the laning phase or in a team fight,
You will still reign supreme.

Her ultimate just works wonders,
Apart from this there’s her ‘Black Shield’.
Ah yes, there’s also her passive,
Just a combo and she’s healed.

What about her soil that is tormented?
It seems not even MR will stop her spree.
Oh joy, again my team has fed her,
I don’t think this game was meant for me.

Nasus is arguably very powerful,
Especially when he triggers his ‘Fury of the Sands’.
I constantly tell my team to stop him from farming,
But it seems no-one ever understands.

I have yet to escape from Nautilus,
His anchor is the cause for all that CC.
It is Nautilus that gives me problems in battle,
In fact it’s usually this champion that ends my spree.

Don’t forget the woman who transforms into a cougar,
Yes, it’s Nidalee the Bestial Huntress.
God bless her she’s quite a sexy being,
She even pole dances with great finesse.

Her ‘Javelin Toss’ is so good for harassing,
The more it travels the more damage it deals.
Moreover, she can chase you down easily,
And when she’s in trouble she just heals.

Nocturne is quite dark in nature,
His main allies are darkness and fear.
He’s even scary in appearance,
You’ll feel a chill when he is near.

His ‘Paranoia’ will drive you crazy,
It’s useless looking at the mini-map.
It’s inevitable that you become frantic,
Just hope you didn’t walk into a trap.

Nunu is known for his ‘Blood Boil’,
It grants his allies a useful buff.
Moreover he’s quite tanky and resilient,
To put him down is quite tough.

The Yeti can’t be taken for granted,
Even though Nunu is the rider and not the beast.
The creature can eat almost anything,
But it can’t ‘Consume’ champions at least.

Everyone is scared of Olaf, the Berserker.
When they see him coming my whole team runs amok.
Unfortunately, I experience this quite often,
It usually happens when Olaf uses ‘Ragnarok’.

What about Orianna?
Her favourite toy is a ball.
She can do anything with it,
She can even send it through Anivia’s wall.

Pantheon is known for his man drop,
And of course, for being the Artisan of War.
For a warrior he doesn’t wear too much clothing,
In his free time he should go and visit the store.

Poppy is an Ambassador,
That’s a nice position in which to be.
She’ll quickly target and burst down a carry,
But only because of her ‘Diplomatic Immunity’.

Rammus the Armordillo seems so sweet and innocent,
It’s not nice to say that he is not fun to play.
He does his job and doesn’t brag about it,
In fact, all he says is “OK”.

Renekton looks very dangerous,
He’ll come at you with his ‘Slice and Dice’.
Phew, I got away from him,
Oh no, I forgot he can do it twice.

His ultimate transforms him into a monster,
When this happens I’d suggest you run.
It’s true, running away isn’t easy,
Well, no-one said laning against him would be fun.

If you’re facing Rengar please be careful,
Beware of the brush and his ‘Battle Roar’.
Oh my God am I speaking to 5 year olds?
Yes, go ahead please feed him more.

Riven is a powerful champion,
She jumps and dashes here and there.
And when she gets her ulti,
You’ll learn the meaning of ‘care’.

I always find it hard to kill Riven,
When in danger she just hops away.
But I’m not one that gives up easily,
If I focus, I’m sure I’ll find a way.

Rumble uses a machine to do damage,
When he overheats he starts acting like a freak.
Yes, yes he also has his ‘Flamespitter’,
But his ultimate is what makes him unique.

Oh I have to say something about Ryze now,
About this guy there’s not much to say.
Just mash ‘Q’, ‘W’ and ‘E’ constantly,
Such a fun champion to play.

Am I serious or am I being sarcastic?
Choose what you wish I don’t care.
Oh dear the enemy Ryze got fed with just a Banshees,
It’s OK I’ll keep calm and try not to swear.

What happened to Sejuani?
Seeing her in the Fields of Justice is now so rare.
Well she does turn you into a huge icicle,
But that’s all she does to be fair.

Shaco is so annoying,
He never leaves you alone in lane.
I’m getting tired of you joker,
My energy is not yours to drain.

Should I play Shen next game?
Oh wait, he’s banned again.
I remember him being useless,
Back when he was still my main.

Shyvana is a half-dragon so be careful,
She can easily scorch you with her fiery breath.
Irritate her and she’ll transform into a dragon,
And there you will be enjoying a quick death.

OK, so please be careful of Singed the Mad Chemist,
He’ll kill you with his ‘Poison Trail’.
Oh wow guys please stop feeding him,
Time for ‘Athene’s Unholy Grail’.

Beware of Sion’s “Chopper”,
It will cut you up into small parts.
Sion, I know where you stole your quotes from,
To me, you’ll always come second to Schwarz.

Sivir’s ranger is simply amazing,
Amazingly underwhelming is what I mean.
Why did I pick her when Graves was open?
Oh what a fool I have been.

At least she has her ‘Spell Shield’,
And her ultimate does help the team.
Her boomerang is good for harassing,
She’s not completely useless so it would seem.

Skarner is more than an oversized scorpion,
He can suppress as well as a slow.
It takes ages to put him down,
When you do this please let me know.

I hope you didn’t focus him in the team fight,
Oh you did? Well, that’s too bad.
Why are you raging at your team mates?
That was all your fault lad.

Sona looks so calm and peaceful,
She’s the Maven of the Strings.
It’s so ironic that in her band,
Karthus is the one that sings.

With Sona the keyboard is the victim,
Summoners just spam ‘Q’, ‘W’ and ‘E’.
If you get caught in her ulti,
It’s useless trying to flee.

Soraka’s job is of babysitting,
She heals and gives mana whenever she can.
I’m sorry but this passive meta is changing,
Soraka, you’re no longer worth a ban.

Swain’s favourite animal is the raven,
He’s well-known for his strategy and tact.
He’s so strong and powerful,
He’s a survivor, and that’s a fact.

Syndra is the Dark Sovereign,
“My potential is limitless” says she.
It’s true she deals lots of damage,
But she’s not as useful as other champions if you ask me.

I don’t normally see Talon,
But when I do he is usually fed.
He comes out of nowhere with ‘Shadow Assault’,
And that’s it, I’m dead.

Taric is another interesting hero,
He is normally played as a support.
He is usually picked last in solo queue,
Does he deserve to be the last resort?

The champion is a gem lover,
He seems really kind at heart.
But people mock him to no end,
They called him names right from the start.

Let him be poor Taric,
He just thinks his gems are outrageous.
Stop being so jealous of him,
It’s not his fault he’s fabulous.

Then there’s the charming Teemo,
He’s so cute and cuddly it must be said.
He seems so happy, loving and caring,
I mean, he’s even cute when he is dead.

This is too much, will I manage?
OK, it’s my turn not to give up.
Hmm I just need to drink some more water,
Gimme some time to fill my cup.

Tristana is The Megling Gunner,
She’s so strong despite her size.
I can’t believe some say she deals no damage,
They’re all living in a world of lies.

Her late game is quite extraordinary,
Especially after a filling meal.
Some are still crying that she does nothing,
Aha! Instead of a ‘BF Sword’ they got a ‘Zeal’.

I’m missing Trundle lately,
Not many summon the troll.
It comes to show not everyone is popular,
Sadly, that’s how it is in LoL.

What about King Tryndamere?
When he’s fed it makes me sick.
But how do the summoners do it?
I think the right mouse button is the trick.

I don’t know what more to say about this champion,
Except that his left arm is weaker than his right.
Just go in there and wreak havoc,
That will teach you everything about his might.

There’s a hero that interests me greatly,
Of course, that champion is Twisted Fate.
Forgive me team I’m still getting used to him,
I know I hit ‘R’ too late.

From mid you can gank anyone,
And then do loads of damage by throwing cards.
I pinged but no-one did anything,
Why am I playing with a bunch of tards?

Twitch isn’t the prettiest thing I’ve ever laid my eyes upon,
After all he is only a rat.
Well OK he is quite special,
Especially since he disappears just like that.

Twitch is another champion that uses poison,
He is occasionally picked for the jungle or for bot.
Vision wards will easily screw him over,
Oh but for this you need a free inventory slot.

Next comes Udyr the bear man,
He’s part and parcel with the animal spirit within.
There was a time when he frustrated everyone,
You want reasons? I wouldn’t know where to begin.

Oh yeh there’s Urgot, another AD Carry,
For a hero he’s disgusting and also very large.
Still he’ll give you so much trouble in battle,
With ‘Acid Hunter’ and ‘Noxian Corrosive Charge’.

Why is Varus so unpopular?
Is it because his quiver looks like a bat?
At least the guy shoots colourful arrows,
Come on summoners, you gotta pick him for that.

There is a female AD Carry,
She is none other than Vayne.
If you try to 1 v 1 her,
You must literally be insane.

Veigar is a mage picked for mid lane.
He’ll increase his AP with his ‘Baleful Strike’.
Yes, he’s much stronger than a purple caster minion,
Even though they look very much alike.

The small dude claims he is evil,
OK, his abilities may make seem tough.
Yes I got it you believe you are the villain,
Sorry Veigar, to me it’s just a bluff.

Viktor the Machine Herald is another hero,
He can choose any ability to augment.
Too bad no-one summons you my friend,
Oh sorry. Hurting your feelings was never my intent.

Oh, I almost forget to tell you,
Remember to kneel before Vlad.
If I were you I’d do as he says,
Unless you want him to drain all your blood.

To be honest he’s not my favourite hero,
Even though his abilities are cool.
Perhaps the reason is ‘cause he always baits me,
I always forget about his troll pool.

Hi Volibear how are you doing?
You’re a survivor I’ll give you that.
Mr. Summoner you sure you want to tower dive him?
That sounds like something you will regret.