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World's Third Largest Loon

"Claire d'Loon" was unveiled in May, 1981, and she has stood outside of the Mercer Chamber of Commerce building ever since. She weighs 2,000 pounds, stands 16 feet tall, and lends credibility to the town's claim as the "Loon Capital." In size she trails only the gargantuan floating loon in Virginia, and a goliath concrete loon in Vergas, both in next-door Minnesota.

Claire d'Loon was also once the "World's Largest Talking Loon." Mercer, however, has backed off of this claim of late, ever since Claire's voice box broke. "Talking" was a misnomer anyway; Claire could only make loon sounds.

The loon has suffered the indignity of being shot at least twice, something that Mercer should maybe have considered before building a giant animal in a place where a lot of people own guns. Mercer intends to raise money to patch the holes in Claire, but wouldn't that cash be better spent in making her "talk" again? Why settle for third place when you can be first?