(I am shopping with my husband one day before class at my college’s bookstore, which also sells snacks and drinks. This exchange happens as we are checking out. Note: I have been recovering from an ulcer and have recently lost 20 pounds because of it.)

Me: “Sorry, nothing looks good.”

Husband: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Unfortunately, I just don’t want to eat anything.”

Cashier: “Oh, don’t worry, ma’am. We get pregnant women in here all the time.”

Me: “I’m not pregnant.”

Cashier: “Most pregnant women prefer to just buy water if you would like. I am sure that you can handle that.”

Me: “I am not pregnant. I have an ulcer.”

Cashier: “Oh, my sister called hers the ‘parasite’ for the first few months!”

Me: “I am NOT pregnant. In fact, I have lost quite a bit of weight because of this.”

Cashier:*winks and looks knowingly at my stomach* “I am sure you have, ma’am. You three have a great day!”

(As my husband and I walk out, I overhear her talking to a coworker.)

Cashier: “I don’t understand why some women so sensitive about their pregnancy!”