I've got a car-guy uncle by marriage—let's call him "Brillo," because that's what my aunt (his sister-in-law) calls him—who introduced me to the joys of V8 power 20 years ago in his first-generation Infiniti Q45...and now drives a 2002 Mercedes-Benz SL500, black like mine, with about 140,000 miles on it, roughly 100k of which have come on his watch.

In other words, the man loves him some 500 Benz, which is why I immediately sent this ad his way.

So the other day, when I pointed out to a friend who's shopping for a mid-2000s G500 that his 5,400-pound monstrosity would actually have less power and torque than my 500 Benz, he retorted, "Whatever, if you say anything about it I'll just push your wife's car into the LA river."

Which reminded me of a wonderful Cars.com classified ad that I came across last fall.