Rob Delaney Found An Old Baseball Scouting Report From Harper's, Hilarity Ensues

Chances are if you’ve ever read a post entitled, “The Funniest People on Twitter”, or something to that effect, then you know that comedian Rob Delaney is widely regarded as, well, one of the funniest people on Twitter. In fact, he was even the first ever recipient of the title “The Funniest Person on Twitter” at last year’s Comedy Award on Comedy Central. It’s because of that, I guess, that I don’t mind it when people put us on the same list. *high fives self, sends nude butt photo to ex-girlfriend*

Non-humble bragging aside, Delaney Tweeted us a video that he made, in which he gives a dramatic reading of writer Sam Frank’s take on the scouting reports of the first 50 rounds of the Major League Baseball first year player draft, published in a 2004 edition of Harper’s Magazine. Why is it so funny? It seems that Harper’s had a very unique way or describing young baseball players and their abilities, and like Delaney warns us – “It’s pretty hot.”

Some of the fun descriptions of these young male athletes include:

Body-maxed

Raw-boned physique

Chiseled

Supple

Developed upper half tapers to a defined waist tapers to long, strong legs

Long extremities

And many more. So you should watch this video to hear the rest, because Delaney’s a guy who has a firm, girthy delivery with a milky-white payoff.