Giant Douche vs. Turd Sandwich

I really shouldn’t have a dog in this fight. As soon as my wife can move us to her beloved Smyrna, we are heading for the ‘burbs. I prefer living in Davidson County out of pure arrogance and snobbery. But, we don’t want our kids turning into crack whores or Kurdish Gang victims. (On an unrelated note, when the cops wind up taking down the Kurdish gangs, will they use tear gas? I want the headline to read “Kurds Gassed In Antioch”.)

Our mayoral race has finally winnowed down to a pair of unsavory characters.

This week’s Scene gives a wholly unbiased look at both candidates. And by “wholly unbiased” I mean a hatchet job on Clement and a puff piece on Dean. Not that I have any problem with that. I love a good hatchet job just as much as the next guy. Provided the next guy is Richard Milhous Nixon.

My only real gripe with the Clement piece was this footnote: Clement even painted “Little Bob” on a campaign truck driven by 16-year-old Dave Cooley, later to become one of Phil Bredesen’s closest aides. Cooley recently left the deputy governor post to return to corporate public relations. Which is akin to saying Alberto Gonzales recently left the attorney general post to return to private practice. True enough, but missing a salient point or two.

I’m not a Dean fan, but he’s got to be better than the do nothing, intellectually bankrupt, career politician Clement. Although, not by much. The key piece of the decision-making puzzle came courtesy of Lindsay Ferrier. Her blog post prior to the primary shed some needed light on the man behind the curtain.

Where I can see Clement doing a fine job as mayor of Lebanon or Hendersonville or Murfreesboro, he isn’t the man for the job. I don’t like that Dean is an unhelpful jerk, but maybe an unhelpful jerk is what we need when it comes time to deal with the Bud Adamses, Glenn Yeagers, Ronal Serpases and Pedro Garcias of the world.

Finally, I am supporting Dean because I bet Kleinheider a beer that he would win. Pure gambling knows no sentimentality.

Totally OT but re: the excerpt I’ve cut and pasted above, I hope you’ve thought this out thoroughly. My husband was born and raised in a rural town and the stories he’s told me would scare the crap out of you. Idle hands are the Devil’s playthings, as they say; when there’s nothing to do in small towns like Smyrna, kids find their own “fun” as we say … I’ve long believed that the notion that it’s better to raise kids in the country is a huge myth. I certainly know that sending the family pet off to “a farm in the country” will shorten its lifespan a good 10 years …