Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Domestic Violence - An Ongoing Problem in Orange County

- See more at: http://helplogger.blogspot.com/2012/03/add-facebook-like-button-below-post.html#sthash.9qCylZ7C.dpuf

Domestic Violence

Life these days knows how to be very stressful and we don’t need so much to “explode” at least from the inside. Overpopulated cities in Orange County California, spending hours in the traffic, bureaucracy at work – these are all the things that would challenge each adult individual these days. Our home is supposed to be our sanctuary. This should be our peaceful place, away from the rest of the world. That does not happen all the time.

It all starts with arguments

Not even two fingers on the hand are the same, so it is not expected in any marriage that both sides involved in it would have the same point of view, ideas and expectations. It takes a lot of tolerance and sacrifice for the marriage in order to work. Negotiation skills are needed like in any other matter. While opposites attract, sometimes it might not work very well to live with someone who has a different opinion. Proving the point starts with raising the voice and on many occasions ends with physical force. As soon as the heads cool-off, regret takes place. From that point on, individuals, especially men would love to turn back time and simply walk out from the house before the conflict escalated. But this doesn't always happen. Verbal arguments can turn physical, and an arrest can take place.

Domestic violence as a result of upbringing

Many men get abusive at their later age without even knowing where the abuse comes from. The domestic violence statistics in Orange County are nothing short of shocking. Most of the abusers had a bad childhood, where they were abused physically and emotionally by their parents. That sadness and anger might stay inside for many decades without an individual even noticing it. Many of them end up in a life of crime, spending a huge amount of time in and out of jail. Orange County Bail Bonds agents routinely deal with clients who have been arrested for domestic violence. At one point, individuals take out all of that negative energy on their spouse.

Simple battery vs serious injuries

While on many occasions arguments end with a simple battery, sometimes they can go as far as a deadly outcome. Definition of a simple battery stands for any type of contact - from unwanted touching to minor injuries. Everything beyond a bruise can be considered as a serious injury, especially if it requires medical treatment.

Plea bargain

Like with any other violation of the law, the same plea bargain procedure stands in the place. If this is the first conviction on the record, especially the first one of this kind – consequences would be lesser than if this is an
ongoing problem. Entering plea bargain at the beginning phase of proceedings might give a better deal to
individual, especially if the evidence such as medical records become available. Many things also depend on the statement made by the victim. However, ones given statement which supports the charge is almost impossible to be changed. Many times, women call the Orange County Sheriff's Office with an intention to stop the fight, but they do not expect that their husband might end up behind the bars for many months. There is not so much to be done once the evidence got collected. It is still surprising that when a call is made to a Santa Ana bail bonds company, it is often the person who was battered who tries to bail the defendant out.

Sentence

For simple battery, in majority of the States, the sentence imposed is up to six months of imprisonment with
domestic violence classes attached to the sentence as a part of probation (and rehabilitation). There is zero zero tolerance for domestic violence these days. The court might determine if the restraining order should be set in the place. If the things between the people in relationship (or marriage) are not resolved – most likely this is going to lead into more problems. That would automatically bring new and more serious charges with attached probation violation as well as restraining order violation (if any). A criminal defense attorney must be hired to deal with these issues.

Domestic violence and immigration consequences

Domestic violence is in a category in and of itself when it comes to criminal charges and immigration consequences. Most of the time, this type of crime would have an impact on someone’s immigration status. Many underlying circumstances take the place at immigration hearings, especially if an individual is a green card holder and with strong ties to the United States. If the criminal record is full of criminal convictions and repetitive domestic violence charges – deportation would be the outcome of the removal proceedings.

Wrong and right beyond the legality

Regardless how the case is going to end up and even if we walk-away without any serious consequences, we should not neglect this problem in our marriage. Domestic violence classes, as a twelve step program are available almost anywhere and attending those classes would definitely benefit society as a whole. Even if the problem didn't get to the point of criminal charges being filed, attending the classes would give to us some wisdom and better understanding of the whole situation. When the “head is hot” – it is hard to think in the rational way. Classes and marriage counseling would provide to us different point of view as well as different approach towards this problem. No jail time would help us to resolve this issue that has been inside of us for many years. Ones we deal with this problem the proper way within ourselves, we are going to notice the difference in the way how we think and talk with our spouse. Remaining in unhealthy marriage is not the point of changing ourselves. On many occasions people decide to remain married and get use to abusive way of living. Divorce usually stands for broken dreams, disappointments and many years of wasted life. It shouldn’t be that way. Divorce might help not to escalate the things beyond the point of minor violence. Even the Bible says that the marriage is not for everyone.

Kids suffer the most

Kids usually suffer mistakes made by adults and feel the consequences of being raised in unhealthy marriage. All the problems would reflect on their upbringing and on many occasions the circle of violence knows how to be transfer from one generation to another. Even abusers are the victims – real victims of their bad childhood. If this is the case, be strong enough to say: “This madness will stop with me!”