6 Things No One Tells You About Trying To Get Pregnant

What they NEVER, EVER tell you in health class when you’re in the 7th (or even 10th!) grade is that ACTUALLY getting pregnant is kind of...hard.

OK, true, some women easily get pregnant the second they start trying. And, of course, for any young, naive people reading this: It only takes one time for it all to happen. AND without sex education, teen pregnancy rates skyrocket, so it’s probably better to be on the overly cautious side of thinking about the risk of getting pregnant if you’re not ready to have a baby.

All that said, the actual window for getting pregnant is about six days each month. Which means if you’re trying to do the baby thing, you have to time things just so. No matter where you are in that process, here are a few things you should know about the project of Making A Baby.

1. IT TAKES LONGER THAN YOU THINK IT DOES.

For MOST women, it takes at least a couple of months of trying for the magic to happen. Per BabyCenter, here’s the breakdown:

30 percent get pregnant within the first cycle (about one month).

60 percent get pregnant within three cycles (about three months).

80 percent get pregnant within six cycles (about six months).

85 percent get pregnant within 12 cycles (about one year).

91 percent get pregnant within 36 cycles (about three years).

93 to 95 percent get pregnant within 48 cycles (about four years).

So if things aren’t taking in the first circle, the lesson here is: try and try and try again. You’re likely to hit the jackpot eventually.

2. YOU NEED TO DO A PERIOD CHECK

Your strongest indication of your fertility is the regularity of your periods. By now, you’ve probably got one of those trusty period-tracker apps (if not, get one!), so now’s the moment to audit your cycle. If you notice you’re 35 days here, 24 days there, you might want to check with your OB-GYN. But don’t worry! Lots of women with irregular periods still manage to get pregnant.

3. DON’T DO THE DEED EVERY DAY.

Your man can actually deplete his sperm count. Plus, the pressure of making love every day can take its toll. (If you already are doing it every day, well, aren’t you fancy?) It’s better to hook up every two or three days about 18 days before your next period.

5. POSITIONS DON’T MATTER

It’s absolutely true that no position guarantees the gender of your future baby, but it’s also true that no position guarantees the conception of your future baby. Missionary, reverse cowgirl, downward-dog, whatever it is, it’s all heading for the same place, so just go with what feels natural and pleasurable.

6. YOU GOTTA CHILL WAY OUT

If you’re stressing about making it happen, you’re likely to interfere with the whole process. I know, I know, it’s deeply unfair. And how exactly are you supposed to help being stressed, especially if now you’re stressed about being stressed?

Know that patience and dedication are likely to get you where you want to be.

7. IT’S IMPORTANT TO FIND SUPPORT

It’s surprising how lonely making a baby can feel. Sex takes on a new context now that there’s this new goal in mind apart from lust and good feelings. It’s a good idea to talk openly with friends or a counselor as you go try to conceive--especially if you’ve been trying for a little while.

A lot of women feel like baby-making should come naturally and easily, and feel hampered by technologies designed to assist in the process. Get the ovulation strips if you need to. Take your temperature. Don’t feel like your womanhood is in jeopardy because you need to go on Metformin to regulate your periods.

Try to keep it fun and stay on top of it. Then, when it finally happens, let us know what finally did it.