$800 Per Hour High School Tutors Are Simply a Necessity

Riverdale, a private school that costs $38,000 per year, is completely incompetent. I draw this conclusion from the fact that I learned that Riverdale "discourages both tutoring and talking to reporters" from a New York Times story focused on the prevalence of tutors among students at schools like Riverdale.

This is called "deductive reasoning," and if you're a private high school student, I'll be happy to teach you all about for several hundred dollars per hour. That's what you people like, yes? Someone telling you about "math" and "analogies" and shit like that, for outrageous prices, all in service of maintaining the oligarchy? We really do appreciate the NYT's commitment to re-proving, again and again, that private school consultants are the worst. Next to the people who hire private school consultants.

It's no longer enough to pay tens of thousands of dollars for your child to attend a private school, and tens of thousands of dollars on some jerk to "tutor" your child for the SAT. It's now also de rigeur to spend tens of thousands of dollars on other jerks (corporate attorneys, I assume, judging by the hourly rates?) to tutor your kid in each particular class they're taking at school. Because the teachers just, I don't know, meditate silently throughout class time, or something. Is it even possible to find the single "worst" paragraph in this tortured tale of $35,000 annual tutoring bills and elite private school administrators worrying over the impact on their "community?" We'll give it a shot:

"More and more you have ambitious and intellectually curious students signing up for difficult classes," said [Advantage Testing founder Arun] Alagappan, whose 200 tutors bill $195 to $795 for 50 minutes (though he said pro bono tutoring accounted for 26 percent of the work). "It's no longer O.K. to have one-on-one coaching for sailing but not academics."