08 July 2009

Bruno and Karate

I just got off the phone with Danny Shirley, owner of Dragon Tough Academy. Those of you who have seen Bruno already know that he's the guy who Bruno had teach him the finer points of defending oneself from those who would attack others with one, two or three dildos. Seriously. (1:59-2:01 and 2:15-2:18 of this trailer.) It's been in a couple of the commercials already, so you'll already know it's coming your way once Bruno makes his way down to Alabama. So anyway, I made a mental note of Danny since he seemed to really be a cool guy, not one to freak out when things got depravingly Bruno-ed up. I emailed him this morning to see if he'd talk. (His website states, "Danny Shirley is a certified Jeet kune do instructor, one of the world's greatest and most effective martial arts in existence today." Translation: Not a dude to mess with.) He responded sure, give me a call. So I called. Here's what he said (some of it paraphrased):

Did he realize he'd been duped?

I kind of thought that it was fake, that it wasn't a "culture show" out of Germany or whereever. After a while, I knew I'd been deceived, that it was kind of a different situation.

How's it playing out down in Hayleyville, Alabama?

It's already getting a lot of attention here. I didn't think they'd show that kind of movie here, but it's selling out already, people buying tickets on the computer. My daughter told me it was on Youtube already.

You seemed like one of the people who handled the trickery better.

When he came out with the dildos, it made me mad because I work with a lot of kids. Didn't want them to see it. I kicked him good one time, actually.

Going to see the movie when it comes out Friday?

I don't know if I'll go see it, but if I do, I'll wear a disguise.

I guess it really isn't a good move going to a karate studio and messing with a karate expert, is it?

Well, he could've really been broken up. Down here we have a lot of morals. It's a bad position to be trying to play a character like that down here, doesn't go over well.

Anything you want everybody to know before the movie comes out on Friday?

Well, I tried to look at it that way, that it was a comedy and all. I could've hurt him easily, but I didn't want to hurt the guy. Overall, it was a good experience.

Danny's time is much appreciated. He could've just blown me off, but like I figured, a good dude.*I also emailed the guy who tried to evangelically de-gay Bruno, Jody Trautwein, so I'll post if he gets back to me.

BOOM. I loved it how you said that for basically every move you made and how you made them all up as you went along. I'd very much like for "Danny Shirley" to be my Martial arts teacher so i can protect my self from even more dildos than three. I also loved how you tried to act all professional on the camera because afterwords when you found out it was a total piss take you would have been like "BOOM". This guy is my new father figure.

"Well, he could've really been broken up. Down here we have a lot of morals. It's a bad position to be trying to play a character like that down here, doesn't go over well." - Danny Shirley, Karate Instructor

Oh ya, Mr. Shirley, it's real "moral" to have some one "broken up" because they're more "sissy" than you are. You'll have to forgive the "high and mighty" rationality here, but it's morally and emotional weak to initiate violence against anyone who is not a violent threat to you. Weak, very weak tolerance and even weaker emotions and self-control. I guess Mr. Shirley's "morals" haven't taught him that people rightfully go to jail for "breaking" people just because someone's behavior "doesn't go over well."