Okay, time passed away and without knowing, suddenly it is three years after I applied to this very company. The cycle continues and this time of year, my company starts another global recruitment again. The thing is the new recruitment process is that they made all sorts of stuff to attract people to apply. That stuff includes videos, interviews, and articles that features some of my global recruit friends. The sad things is, I was not featured to appear in the videos, interviews, nor a simple employee profile article in the recruitment site, and that makes me sad.

But then, I remember what my spiritual guru, Barney Stinson, taught me. When you are sad, stop being sad and being awesome instead. So, I decided to be awesome instead, interview myself and make an employee profile article about myself and posted here, because I have no other better things to do in my sunday evening.

So, without further ado, here it is: my employee profile that is NOT featured in my company’s site. And of course to protect my identity, I am not gonna use my real name or my company’s name. I cant afford to get fired because of one blog post. Here goes:

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About The Job

I am currently working in the Capital Beach Factory, somewhere in the mainland of Japan. My department is responsible for the design and manufacture of hydro turbines for hydro power plant (turns out you cant use hydro turbine for nuclear power plant). My job responsibilities include but not limited to: designing and creating technical drawing for both the customer and the production line, performing various analysis related to hydro turbine structure, and digging my nose when no one is looking. Overall, it is an awesome job and you really feel that you are a bad-ass when you come to the factory and look the parts that you designed/drew as it is just finished manufactured and ready to be transported or assembled with the other parts. It is like looking at your own baby girl, but without the trouble of changing diapers, paying for her school, or being overprotective when it comes to her dating life.

Working Environment

Almost everyone in my department likes to do overtime. I really like doing overtime because it allows me to be productive instead of just playing Plant Vs Zombie at home. Not to mention that you are getting paid for your overtime. That what I thought during my first three month of working. After two years, my overtime is getting much and much more that ever and now I just want to go home and play Plant Vs Zombie at home. But putting the overtime aside, my working environment is awesome. My batch mate, Miyagi, for example, he taught me a lot of bad Japanese words for me to use when I need it. Some other guys are holding back and does not want to talk to me because of my bad Japanese, but most of them are really supportive and really wants to talk to you. Apparently my bad Japanese is some kind of entertainment for these guys.

Life in Japan

Life in Japan is legendary. Everything is very orderly here and it is very safe. I always leave my bicycle unchained but it never got stolen, but then maybe it is because my bike is in a really horrible state that even the thief does not bother to steal it. Besides that, the girls here are awesome. You can see everything from long skirt to miniskirt to hot pant to pantless everyday everywhere, even during winter. And trust me, when summer comes, bikinis are everywhere that you cannot find any time to blink your eyes. A little tip though, buy a very dark sun glass so that people does not know where are your eyes looking at. I learned it the hard way.

Message to Applicants in Your Home Country

With great salary, comes great responsibility (and great number of overtime). Working in East Lawn company is awesome and rewarding, but it is not an easy job. Putting aside the high standard that they set for your work, overtime is a common thing here and working on weekend is not uncommon. If you think you can handle that, come and apply.

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Fiuh, so that is pretty much my employee profile that I wrote very seriously (Yeah, very). I hope that my employee profile here can be posted in my company’s site so that I can gain some popularity and girls come to like me the readers can get a little information on the ‘dark side’ of this job instead of all the happy things. If any of you is interested in joining me in the East Lawn Company, especially young girls who are attractive, sporty, and smart, please follow the link below for the formal instruction. Remember that I am in no way affiliated to the East Lawn Company, oh wait, I work there. I mean, I am not affiliated with the recruitment process and this post is simply just me, sharing the information to those who needs it. Enjoy!