Paul Scheer just flew back from the South by Southwest music festival, and boy are his arms tired! Get it? But seriously people, Paul is back in LA and he’s not wasting anytime posting videos from his SxSw experience on his blog.

Click here to check out Paul’s photojournal, and to see some crazy videos of one of his favorite bands in Austin– the absolutely insane Peelander Z. A band so punk they let the audience come on stage and play their instruments while they played some Human Bowling in the crowd. Now THAT’S a performance. You won’t be finding any of that at your local Coldplay concert. Well… at least I hope you won’t.

Colin Farrell has spent the lat four years hooking up with every woman in Hollywood, from A-listers like Lindsay, Britney and Angelina to not-on-the-listers like sex tape co-star Nicole Nairan. We knew the time would come that he’d run out of female conquests. Now it seems he’s starting on the men.

We’re not sure if this unidentified guy is Farrell’s first man-kiss, but it’s safe to say it won’t be his last.

Nick Lachey has signed on to do a comedy pilot for the newly formed CW Network. It’s going to be called The New Adventures of the Old Boy Band Singer Who’s Not Boning Jessica Simpson Anymore.

Ben Stein is pissed that no one mentioned the troops during this year’s Oscars ceremony. He expressed his outrage by droning on monotonously for an hour, occasionally muttering about how he’d do more about it if people hadn’t won all his money.

Richard Dreyfussgot married again. Now if that’s not a SIZZLER, I don’t know what is…

Trey Parker and Matt Stone have sent out a press release regarding Tom Cruise’s powerplay to make Comedy Central pull its Scientology-themed episode of South Park off the air last Wednesday. And as expected, it’s hilarious. FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Scientology, you may have won THIS battle, but the million-year war for Earth has just begun! Temporarily anozinizing our episode will NOT stop us from keeping Thetans forever trapped in your pitiful man-bodies. Curses and drat! You have obstructed us for now, but your feeble bid to save humanity will fail! Hail Xenu!!!

4. Just one the…guys, seriously stop making unoriginal crap like this. I mean, has the well of creativity really run so dry that you’re going to remake a Billy Zabka movie? This is the cinematic equivalent of not finishing a frozen dinner, sticking in the fridge, then reheating it a week later. – $11 million

We know Donald and Melania’s new baby, Baron William Trump, is going to be huge. Donald already has three of the greatest children ever, but this new one is going to be the best! That’s why we’re hosting a Trump Baby Photoshop Contest. Send us pictures of what you think the newest addition to the Trump corporation family looks like. Does he have his father’s comb-over? or his mother’s cat eyes? Does he sport a briefcase? or a diamond-studded diaper? Show us what the "greatest baby in the world" looks like and we’ll post our favorites on the site. Email your submissions to: BWEphotoshopContest@gmail.com.

I usually don’t watch the quirky videos CNN often puts up on its site. Today, though, I was intrigued by this headline: Watch: Snake, man kiss 51 times, serpent woozy. So I watched it. And lo and behold, it was indeed a man kissing a snake 51 times. It’s truly one of the most bizarre things I’ve ever seen, and it made me realize that as much as reality TV sucks, the United States is still way ahead of the rest of the world in terms of what we do for entertainment.

Watch a man kiss a snake here (in the Offbeat section.) Oh, and I promise you that it’s really a man kissing a snake… and not just a clever synonym for gay porn. Enjoy.

I’ve been frustrated for a long time by the fact that there are too many good shows to keep up with, but last night after The Sopranos, I reached my breaking point. Already exhausted from having been through the tense campaigning in The West Wing, I was totally drained after watching Tony fighting for his life and his family just fighting. So drained, in fact, that I couldn’t watch Grey’s Anatomy. I had planned all along to Tivo Desperate Housewives and Big Love, but missing out on Grey’s was just too much. How am I expected to be able to talk to my coworkers about Sunday television on Monday morning when I can’t even watch half the good shows?

Sales of the Notorious B.I.G.’s 1994 album "Ready To Die" have been halted after a jury decided it uses illegal samples. It only took 12 years to come to a conclusion, so the judicial system is calling it a success.

It’s a boy! for Donald and Melania. The baby is healthy, and is rumored to already be working on his combover.

Eva Longoria announced that she had to teach boyfriend Tony Parker how to please her in the bedroom because he’s so sexually inexperienced. And there you have it– the downside to sleeping with Eva Longoria.

Daniel Craig is all set to show full fronal nudity in the new James Bond movie. We’ve come a long way from Pussy Galore, haven’t we?

The small Italian town of Cernobbio is upset that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pittdidn’t get married there this weekend. The cultural significance of Cernobbio is now expected to revert back to zero.

Tori Spelling’s parents refuse to talk to her. Things just haven’t been the same since Donna Martin graduated.