This Week In TV…

Mahwah, NJ – With midterm week violating and disturbing us, it’s SO hard to keep up with things that matter: talking about ourselves on Twitter, calling people ugly on Facebook, getting diarrhea from Birch (wait, we still do that), and finally, following our TV shows. While you’re all “studying”, I’ve been busy slaving over staying up to date with pop culture for you. Even though “New Girl”, “Are You There Chelsea”, “American Idol”, and “Saturday Night Live” all aired this week, I was much more interested inreal television. Here’s what you missed this week in TV:

RCTV broke boundaries with some really cutting-edge material. I didn’t catch the title of the show, but I think it was about time travel. There was this blonde girl talking about eating somewhere, then the same girl talking at a bus stop, and then there she was being blonde again on campus! I was enticed by the gripping plot and journalistic prowess of the show.

Also, I watched a riveting slide show of pictures that ranged from average sporting events, an arch, and photoshopped foliage. It all looked very familiar, but I think I was just having déjá vu. It definitely wasn’t because I had previously skipped over the channel a hefty amount of times. Next, I saw some brunette girl talk about sports, but I couldn’t hear anything she was saying. It was great! At first I thought I she was mute, then I realized it was just a stylistic, artful audio choice. One channel that really caught my attention had a marathon running all week. It was a blank picture that just said “RCTV-8”. There’s something about a plain white background and silence that really dazzles me. In other news, there was a snowstorm of sorts on channel 10, channels 17, 19, and 62 went missing, and I couldn’t pass channel 64. My eyes eventually grew sore from watching too much state-of-the-art programming, so I just decided to go back on Twitter and talk about myself.

It would appear that Ramapo students are checking out more than books this Fall. In an attempt to keep up with current times, the George T. Potter Library has put forth a ‘Call/Text a Librarian’ program, where students can contact these book-loving employees on their personal numbers to ask their most annoying questions. No one... MORE »

With the start of a new semester, there are many questions that pop into students’ minds. Will my classes suck? Are there hot freshmen? Should I go out this Thursday? Well, these questions are easily answered. They’re all yes. But the real issue at hand, the one question we are all waiting for an answer,... MORE »

Mahwah, NJ- The Ramapo Commencement Committee has just released the pricing for graduation. In addition to Ramapo’s $100 dollar charge for “processing” the graduation application and a $62 dollar charge for cap and gown Ramapo will also issue charges for the following: – $1.00 for each step you take. Handicapped people graduate free. – $5.00... MORE »

In accordance with trending student behavior, Ramapo College’s Office of Dining Services plans to unveil the Pay Caf Pocket It as the institution’s newest meal plan option for the Spring 2012 semester. For the one-time low fee of zero dollars, students who purchase the Pay Caf Pocket It will have the ability to “steal as... MORE »

Dating at Ramapo is the trickiest of trades. It’s the epicenter of sexual frustration. Most girls at Ramapo have considered going lesbian to avoid having to hook up with one more Ramabro, but we already discussed that in The Girls’ Guide to dating at Ramapo. Thus, it is only fair to emotionally scar the Ramababes as well.... MORE »

Please join us for a discussion and interactive session on stress creation techniques including methods students may deploy to encourage stressful situations on Wednesday, September 26 in Laurel Hall, first floor at 9 p.m. We will also discuss stress-reducers and how to avoid them. ALL students are welcome. Contact Laurel Hall RA Michael Manuelo with... MORE »

Mahwah, NJ- In a stunning turn of events, Ramapo College communications major, Donny Rogers has deemed himself incapable of determining if that blonde chick in his class is hot by regular standards, or if it’s only because she is in a group project with him. “She’s easily the hottest girl in class,” Rogers told reporters... MORE »

With the semester winding down and zero Ramapo Basement writers returning in the fall, the site is in need of a new head writer. If interested, please email your information to Strasser.jake@gmail.com. Requirements for the new head writer of Ramapo Basement include, but are not limited to all of the following: Equal Opportunity Bigotry: We... MORE »

It’s Tuesday night at Ramapo College. Party time. At least for those of us who dare to venture out from our caves in an attempt to be social. It’s 8 P.M. Prime time to pre-game, aka drink yourself into such a stupor you barely make it out of your room, only to venture into another... MORE »

Mahwah, NJ – The tyrannical mini-nation known as Ramapo College continues to force students to leave campus. No, I’m not talking about student herding (rumored to begin next Fall). As Public “Safety” released their ominous email this morning, a campus-wide “NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!” was recorded being heard as far as Snooki’s house. Starting today, if you’re a student... MORE »

Mahwah, NJ- After literally grueling and unbearable anticipation, Ramapo College has finally announced the 2013 Commencement Ceremony Speaker. It’s official: the 2013 Commencement Speaker will be The Janitor Who Worked In Steve Jobs’ Accountant’s Office. President Mercer told us exclusively, “this is literally the only guy that said yes.” He furthered that even the Butler... MORE »

MAHWAH, NJ – History was made today as The Jersey Devil officially came out of eternal hiding in the deep woods of New Jersey. After taking a heavy beating from Sandy and Irene the past two years, the Jersey Devil is reportedly “fed up” with living in the woods. He exited the forest near a... MORE »

MAHWAH, NJ – Ramapo College’s President Mercer is reportedly “pissed” at Korean pop sensation, Psy, claiming that his hit song, “Gangnam Style”, was stolen from Mercer himself. The President came directly to Ramapo Basement to set the record straight and spread the word that “Gangnam Style” was his idea first: it was originally called “Mercer Style”... MORE »

Thanks to Nickelodeon star Amanda Bynes’ current hott mess streak, Ramapo’s most easily influenced students have been dangerously swayed by her recent behavior. According to prestigious news sources like In Touch magazine and The National Inquirer, Ms. Bynes has been arrested for multiple DUI’s and hit & runs in the past year. There have also... MORE »

Mahwah, NJ – After a few rough years in an economic recession, it’s no secret that students are struggling to pay for college in New Jersey. Ramapo College, as one of the top schools in New Jersey, (ringing in 10th place behind Rutgers, TCNJ, Kean, Stockton, and then five public high schools), has offered a... MORE »

Mahwah, NJ – This week, Ramapo College hosted its annual Club Fair to showcase all Ramapo has to offer to the student population. The club fair was home to an amalgam of old, prestigious clubs, and brand new startup clubs. Students were both shocked and excited to see the new offerings of Ramapo College’s Club... MORE »

“WELCOME BACK PEONS!!” – President Mercer, September 4th, 2012 MAHWAH, NJ – BREAKING: In order to raise morale around campus, President Mercer just emailed the Ramapo Basement staff the Official Drinking Game of Ramapo College. I know, I know, it’s the oxymoron of the century. Obviously this game cannot be played on Ramapo’s campus, as... MORE »

Mahwah, NJ – Ah, the first week of May: the most glorious time of the year. A time for starving oneself for summer and cramming one’s brain with throw-away knowledge. It’s also a time for taking as much harassment from Public Safety as possible before buying a flamethrower with dark intentions. Even though it’s super easy... MORE »

Dating at Ramapo is the trickiest of trades. It’s the epicenter of sexual frustration. Most girls at Ramapo have considered going lesbian to avoid having to hook up with one more Ramabro, but we already discussed that in The Girls’ Guide to dating at Ramapo. Thus, it is only fair to emotionally scar the Ramababes as well.... MORE »

When it comes to dating at Ramapo, it’s easy to say that one would rather succumb to prison sex than settle for a horny, chauvinistic Ramamale. As most of us girls know, (or gay guys), it’s slim pickens on this campus. Sifting through the hoards of normal-looking commuters can be tiring. However, it’s not as... MORE »

“Call Me Maybe” is inarguably the best song to ever grace our planet. The godsend of a tune inspired some Ramafolk to dance, asking you to call Ramapo, maybe. However, it would be unwise and pointless to call Ramapo unless making a vulgar prank phone call. That is all. Enjoy the video with cameos from... MORE »

Mahwah, NJ – By now, you are all fully acquainted with The Hunger Games due to the media forcing it down our throats like mothers with broccoli. We know, you “read the books and they’re sooo much better than the movie” – totally didn’t hear that about Twilight or Harry Potter, you hipster betch. For... MORE »

Mahwah, NJ – Finally, International Women’s Day has graced us with its presence. Ladies, this is our day to shine. This day is all about us, so spend it wisely. To the gentlemen, it’s ONE DAY, just let us have it. If you’re not sure how to celebrate International Women’s Day, we’ve got some ways to... MORE »

Mahwah, NJ ““ Sadly, the beginning of March always means the end of Black History Month. Don’t get too choked up, there are other things to celebrate: After-Leap Day, Justin Bieber’s birthday, and last but not least, Diversity Week! In honor of the close of Black History Month, Ramapo College will be celebrating ALL diversity... MORE »

Mahwah, NJ – A surge of Ramapo College memes exploded on Facebook two weeks ago, immediately earning the Facebook page over 1,000 fans. This was a crucial moment in Ramapo history, as it was the most student participation the college has ever seen. However, in true Ramapo tradition, all forms of fun shall eventually be excommunicated;... MORE »

Mahwah, NJ ““ Yesterday was a gloomy day in the Berrie Center. Shit got real for Ramapo’s music majors after the 54th annual Grammy Awards. Students were hit with the hard truth; they may never be good enough to be on the Grammys. Students are beginning to realize that even if they make it to... MORE »

Mahwah, NJ – The tyrannical mini-nation known as Ramapo College continues to force students to leave campus. No, I’m not talking about student herding (rumored to begin next Fall). As Public “Safety” released their ominous email this morning, a campus-wide “NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!” was recorded being heard as far as Snooki’s house. Starting today, if you’re a student... MORE »

Mahwah, NJ ““ Even though Ramapo was forced to sit in the dark during the first half of the game due to the Blackout of Jan’12, students still got the privilege to watch the Giants become NFC champs. I’m not even sure what that means, but if NFC means Not For Chicks, then that is... MORE »