The other day a friend asked me: “What’s your end goal in building an online business?”

I found that question funny. Because in my mind it was obvious the reason. But I guess it was not. So, I kept thinking. Many times, we do things in our lives that just seems obvious to us.

In our minds, we are going: Isn’t it obvious why I am doing this? Guess what? It is not obvious.

Communication is the most important skill needed in a social environment. And it is the very specific skill we lack the most.

Let’s go back to the conversation with my friend. I answered him: “I want to be free. I want to be the boss of me. And I want to be able to come and go whenever I feel like it.”

He looked at me and said: “That is not possible. You will have to check every minute what all your employees are doing. There are going to be more work and responsibilities as a boss than what you have today. You will have no freedom.”

I was shocked with his comment, after all, he had no idea what I was doing and was already giving me all these bad vibes. I looked at him and asked myself:

Do I want to convince him otherwise?

Going down this argument will energize me or deplete me?

Trying to change the way my friend thinks will bring us closer as friends or further apart?

Right there and then I knew my answer. I rather have a friend than to feel “right”. Many times, we get into arguments that could have been avoided long before they even started. We take the bait.

To be very honest we never know what is really going on with the other person. Sometimes they throw things at us only as a matter of scape from another issue they are going through (but will not talk about it). We do that sometimes.

How many times have you started an argument with your significant other over a silly issue, just because you were feeling an “anger” that needed to be released somehow? Or you yelled at your kid when you actually wanted to yell at your boss?

So next time someone tells you something that for you seems almost hurtful, stop, breath and ask yourself these questions:

Do I want to convince him/her otherwise?

Going down this argument will energize me or deplete me?

Trying to change the way this person thinks will bring us closer or further apart?