Friday, February 13, 2009

When I was in third grade there was this kid named Amzi who was this huge Kiss fan . His really "cool" parents had taken him to a KISS concert, and he was member of the KISS ARMY ( according to his notebook ).

I remember he brought all of his KISS albums to class for show-and-tell, and nobody was really into KISS at the time ( the average Georgia third grader, I mean). I also remember that he got into this weirdo-crying-"I HATE ALL of YOU"-fight with the entire class when his albums were not adequately revered by his peers . Now I vividly remember thinking that it was really bizarre that a kid would have this sort of reaction to other kids in the class not liking his KISS albums. I mean, yeah, boys usually are the ones who do all of the crying in grade-school, but this was a stand-out performance.

Okay, cut to 1987 in my P.E. class, and two guys get into an actual physical fight over...Motley Crue. Okay, at the end of the fight ( remember, we're like 16 years old, but this is the emotionally stunted rural south) the "Coach" breaks up the fight.

FUN FACT:

All male teachers in southern high schools are referred to as "Coach", whether they coach anything, or not.

Okay, Coach Billy Joe Bob Frank breaks up this slapping-scratching-rolling-around-fighty thing, and the one kid breaks down and cries. Yes, he cries, and with all the sadness and angst of a little girl whose pony has died,this kid says,''He said Vince Neil is a queer!".

I must also note that the word queer in this case is spoken in multiple syllables. Its pronounced "kU-wEEEr".

Did you know that I was the only one who actually got sent to the office for this fight. Yeah, I was "sent up" for laughing.

... and maybe for pointing out to the "coach" and the two boys the whole irony of the fact that this kid was fighting for the supposed honor of his boy/man love object ( in this case, Vince Neil of Motley Crue).

Oh, and one other thing ; on the day of this fight ( and this is the best part ), we were learning square dancing in class with 23 boys and 4 girls. Awesome.
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