Protocol Consultants International

Many are challenged - even intimidated, when it comes to effectively using this inanimate object. Like most things challenging in life, the telephone has its own skill sets and rules governing proper and efficient usage. And, as with anything, the more you practice, the better you hone your telephone skills and techniques. Being telephone savvy is an area of expertise and productivity into which the savvy sales professional knows how to dial into (pun intended) and tap.

The telephone is the only thing which stands between yet, has the potential to quickly connect you and your customer. Focus on your message and delivery each time you pick up the telephone; preparation is key. Remember, the way you speak is 85% of your message!

Introductions seem to come upon us almost as often as handshakes and, as we have conceded, most of us remain challenged remembering names, let alone how to execute a flawless business introduction.

Therefore, when it comes to introductions, this seemingly simple, everyday ordinary act is actually far more intricate than you might think. Yet, at the same time, introductions present an invaluable opportunity to show you know "the difference," while demonstrating respect and quietly standing apart.

For more valuable information on introductions, please be sure to sign up for our newsletter.

You are at the dining table having a spirited discussion with the person on your left however, the person on your right is not responding and appears bored or disinterested.

You are walking from the reception area to their office or meeting room, going up the elevator ... 36 floors (!) with your host who says nothing.

Silence may be "golden" ... or deafening!

SMALL TALK. Small talk is a really inappropriate expression for something that should be called the complete opposite: "big talk" "huge talk" or "really important talk" because it is the ice breaker which helps break barriers that retard building rapport and advancing interpersonal relationships. This seemingly ordinary, everyday ritual of making small talk - especially with perfect strangers, can be daunting and a challenge only for the unpracticed. Small Talk is truly an art and a skill you can use to positively influence and jump-start new relationships. However, you need to practice every day in order to become proficient, and have savvy small talk become part of you and your savvy authentic self.

The seemingly inconsequential ordinary gesture of making Small Talk is analogous to the prelude before a performance or the preface of a book... It is the set-up for what we hope will be a seamless transition into meaningful business discussions. The misleading term utterly misrepresents its undulating power. Small talk should be acknowledged for the singular opportunity it holds to adroitly manipulate ... in all good ways(!) people and situations to your advantage. In fact, not accessing competent small talk can limit you and be detrimental in business.

When you take the time and make the effort to hone your small talk skills you will be richly rewarded as you experience the confidence in knowing you are not only helping place others at ease and making them feel special, you are at the same time, kindling the trust factor that spark relationships while quietly, yet most assuredly distinguishing yourself. The act of tactfully engaging others and the ability to artfully draw out the best in others to create more meaningful connections and advance careers cannot be overstated.

When you initiate the small talk this accomplishes three important tasks:

1. keeps you in the Control position. 2. takes the burden off you to speak first. 3. affords you the opportunity to hear the other person speak (first) thereby acquiring valuable information.

Information derived from listening to their voice including tone, inflections, words they use, grammar, diction, etc., permits you to get a sense of their inner emotions such as nervousness, boredom, trepidation, ... allowing you to ultimately adjust your own behavioral style and adapt to ultimately connect.

As for topics, anything out - in plain view or even outdoors is fair game for small talk such as awards and plaques which further convey valuable information about the other person you can use to help advance your goals. The weather is rich in content, as is your recent flight, traffic, directions, their gorgeous gardens ... the beautiful artwork, the new construction (!) ... Sports are also safe topics however, sports teams are only a part of it. You may notice a sports watch or anything in their office revealing an avid golfer, yachtsman, runner, etc. It is absolutely appropriate to ask questions and make comments to enhance personal knowledge and advance relationships. However, be careful with your questions and comments...(!)

It is interesting to note that in High Context Cultures such as Asia and South America, business is never discussed or conducted during the first few meetings which include primarily of the company of family and close friends. Small talk and random conversation about anything other than business is the rule as meetings are focused exclusively on evaluating others to develop the critical trust factor simply required to conduct business in High Context Cultures.

Whereas an important characteristic of Low Context Cultures here in America for example, is the aspect of time, and, as the very American saying goes, "time is money!" Inherent in our genetic make-up is the urge to eliminate small talk and quickly get down to business at hand.

Understanding cultural nuances and the importance small talk plays in advancing personal rapport is integral to successfully competing in our global economy. Do your research and be prepared in any cultural environment where you hope to conduct future business.Practicing engaging others will help you hone this brilliant skill, make others feel acknowledged, may even help brighten another person's day ultimately, making you feel pretty good, too! Extending a random greeting, unexpected comment or compliment prompting a reply and perhaps even leading to further dialogue is ultimately energizing for everyone.

Making something from nothing is an art and takes work ... and changing what might otherwise be a non-eventful experience standing in the elevator or waiting for your latte, has the potential to be quickly altered into a memorable event or transformed into an enchanting experience while perhaps acquiring a significant new relationship along the way!

I love sharing the story of Judy George, former Founder, President and CEO of Domain Furniture telling her "story," of being a stay at home wife and mother of four, who wanted to work. Her husband discouraged this asking why she wanted to work when she had everything she needed. As Judy George recounts, she loved furniture and wanted to work with furniture. She saw an advertisement in the local newspaper, and restructured her resume to show her abilities reflected through her life and previous involvement with schools, charities, the community.

She tried to get an appointment with the president of the furniture company posting the advertisement however, he refused to meet with her because she did not have furniture - specific experience. Judy George was determined to get the meeting to be considered for the position. So, Judy George proceeded to implore and "marry the gatekeeper" to whom she had sent her resume. Still, the president would not meet with her. Judy George personally went to his office and sat, waiting, hoping the president would meet with her. Still, this did not happen. Judy George got creative. Using her credit card, she took out a line of credit and hired a plane. She called the gatekeeper one more time, to ask one more favor. She asked the gatekeeper to have the president look out his window at precisely 12:00 Noon the next day and look up. That was it. This was her last request, final favor. The gatekeeper acquiesced. The company president conceded and went to his window at 12:00 Noon and looked up only to see a small plane flying overhead which then dropped a banner that read, "PLEASE MEET WITH JUDY GEORGE."

The president was impressed with her creativity and tenacity and finally agreed to the meeting. Judy George got hired and went on to become founder, president and CEO of Domain Furniture and presently owner of Judy George International. The company projects revenue this year of $35 million.

The bottom line: we don't have to take these measures, go to these lengths, expend this kind of time and expense to get noticed and obtain the much sought-after meeting with the highly desired client or perspective employer ... we just need to get out there and Network!

They say, there are only seven degrees of separation between us and any job or connection we ever endeavor to make. Therefore, making a conscious effort to consistently expand our network of connections is key.

Social networking aside, real-time networking is about putting yourself physically out there. ... but what to do once you are there?

Resist the urge to "cluster" or "put in an appearance" and leave after 15 minutes.

Networking is: the single most effective means of meeting the greatest number of qualified individuals within the shortest amount of time while allowing you the opportunity to shake a warm hand, look into someone's eyes, get your message out there and meet others you would never normally have the opportunity to meet.

Inherent in the word itself, Networking is work, and, as with any interpersonal relationship, giving before receiving is not only gracious, but prudent.

If "90% of success is "showing up" this places a huge emphasis on that 10% of what we do once we are there; preparation is key. And remember, with all due respect ... no one invites us anywhere because they think we look hungry and need to be fed! Rather, we are invited for one of two reasons: 1. someone wants to thank us for our business/prospective business or 2. someone believes we have something to contribute ... and it is our responsibility to contribute to the overall success of the event, while simultaneously positioning ourselves as a resource.

Make personal notes about the other person to use in subsequent follow-up communication.

Walk whomever you are speaking with not only to the door, but outside the door as they are leaving to take advantage of "real talk" to advance the relationship; thank them for attending.

Send a brief email note of thanks, after having identified they are an e-culture person/company, ... and follow-up with a personal, hand-written note the next day or within 48 hours. Clearly, the longer you wait, the less impact the gesture holds. This provides you with an opportunity to get yourself, your company/brand in front of your target and leave yet another Judy Jones "impression." And, ... 'repetition is reputation!

Act as if this is your event, as if these other guests are your guests, as if you own the room. And, rather than attending a networking event thinking "what's in it for me," remember to position yourself as a resource.

Suddenly, you are connected!

Commit to contributing to the overall success of this event, just as you would as a guest in another's home, to be positively perceived and well-received. In so doing, we typically experience the greatest rewards.

Enjoy the process of consciously expanding your network of connections and ... enjoy the journey!

We are immersed in the most competitive business climate in history imposing unprecedented pressures at all levels that simultaneously prime us for personal altercations, business scuffles and tussles which ultimately require the proverbial … dreaded apology.

We are not talking about apologizing for forgetting someone’s name, missing an appointment or forgetting to silence your cell phone. These thoughtless, commonplace situations require a quick apology to clear the air and get back on track. Period.

Whereas if you misappropriate corporate funds, engage in unethical or illegal activity, commit a personal slight, engage in sexual misconduct or make a denigrating remark about someone’s ethnicity, these more egregious matters evoke high emotions and call for a more robust response and strategy.

“Love means never having to say I’m sorry,” originally expressed by Jennifer Cavalieri in Love Story may have been so in Hollywood years ago however, not so in real life today, especially in business.

During our lifetime we have and will inevitably say or do something to hurt others we will later regret which may affect our reputation, our firm’s reputation and brand. One of the most difficult things for many is to admit we made a mistake and yes, apologize. Saying you’re sorry is a way to regain respect however ironically, pride, ego, fear or simply showing weakness are stumbling blocks that should never be excuses. It takes a very strong person to admit they were wrong.

Apology defined is a written or spoken expression of one's regret, remorse, or sorrow for having insulted, failed, injured, or wronged another. The very act of apologizing is humbling and about refinement of character. Apologizing is a show of respect and good manners. Apologizing is cleansing and the right thing to do. Apologies are almost universally respected.

There is a right and wrong way to apologize. Saying, “I’m sorry you feel that way” suggests they are the one with the problem. The right way is to accept responsibility for your actions and express your regret for the damage done. People are by nature forgiving. When they believe you are sincere, you will most likely be forgiven; an insincere apology will likely exacerbate the situation.

The Perfect Apology:

Apologize face-to-face … the sooner the better. Show remorse, humility; own it.

Ask forgiveness. State what you will do going forward.

Write a personal note; email, text or even a phone call is not as effective.

Allow time to heal and regain their trust.

Say, “I’m sorry I made you feel that way because of my words/behavior.”

Sincerity is absolutely essential, regardless of how egregious the transgression. A sincere apology goes a long way toward repairing damage, healing and restoring your own reputation/brand. Moreover, if you truly possess and thereby genuinely convey sincere remorse, this will come across and others will respect you - for the admission, for trying to right the wrong and coming forward with the shield of truth.

The holidays are an ideal time to say "thank you" ... in the ways that matter, to those who have helped us through the year. While holiday tipping for regular service providers is very personal and certainly not mandatory, there are general guidelines:

Regular service providers on whom we have come to trust and rely such as our hair stylist, manicurist or masseuse, babysitter, animal sitter, newspaper delivery person, UPS person, housekeeper, etc., those who help make our lives easier and brighten our day, and deserve to be acknowledged. Rule: the holiday tip should be one week's compensation for that service provider. For example, if you pay your housecleaner $60 per week, write another check for $60 for their holiday bonus.

While some may consider this over the top, there are many who "tip" much more than these basic guidelines. Babysitters and concierges, for example, are tipped as much as $100 to $500 or more, during the holidays. Remember, we trust these individuals, we rely on them, they take care of us/our children, they give us peace of mind, and make our lives easier, better.

Day care provider - follow the same guidelines, however, this is very personal and, subjective.

Dog walker - follow same guidelines, however, this again, is very personal

Newspaper delivery person - $10 to $20

Postal delivery person: $10 to $20. It is actually illegal to tip the postal carrier any more than $20.

House cleaner - write another check for the same amount.

Valet - $20 - $30

Secretary/Admin - write another check for one week's salary.

*Please note: the Holiday Bonus is an entirely separate issue.

Not to forget:

Day to day regular service providers who i.e. drive you to work every day, make your coffee, pump your gas, the doorman in your building, etc.

*Money need not always be the form of the holiday "tip." While monetary gifts and gift cards are more common during the Holidays, some may not be able to tip or, prefer to gift something other than money.

Options: making something - your specialty craft of expertise, a special framed photo, baked goods, etc. A 'thank you' gesture of gratitude during the Holidays in any form is appreciated. People like to feel appreciated and acknowledged and 'The Holidays' is the perfect time to do so!

What ever gesture you chose, it truly is the thought and gesture, that count!

*A personal thank you note should always accompany the tip.

Even if your card has a pre-written message, write your own note of thanks.

It doesn’t get any hotter or more contested than the
dialogue between President Obama and President-Elect Trump. Yet, after
the most contentious campaign in history, the people of this Democratic
Republic have spoken, and as a result, our world leaders have chosen …
to show respect, civility and professionalism to our country and the
world. In a most cordial, peaceful transfer of power meeting at the
White House, together they set a world-class example by which we should
all abide.

Americans need to come together and rebuild - our
spirit, our core which frankly, needed nurturing long before this
impassioned e-lection. The people of this great Republic have always
shown unity, strength and resolve in the face of greatest adversity to
keep America strong. This very challenging time in our country’s
history presents a great opportunity to come together again, to heal,
and set an example for our children and the world.

There are
only two emotions in the world: love and fear. All positive emotions
come from love, all negative emotions from fear.” Elizabeth Kubler Ros.
People fear that which they do not know. The violence that has
erupted from protestors this week is driven by ignorance and fear … fear
of the unknown.

Change is imminent and change is good.
However, change can be daunting because it represents the unknown. That
said, Trump is the voice for the majority of Americans who clearly want
change. We need to acknowledge the fear and strive to come together to
heal knowing peace, prosperity and justice will prevail.

Donald
Trump is going to be our next president, like it or not. It’s okay to
raise our voices but not to indulge in hatred and destruction. Hatred
is a negative emotion lead by fear which is destructive. In the name of
the greatest Democracy, Americans have a right to protest, but rioters
are not expressing “Freedom of Speech.” Anarchy is un-American,
unacceptable and will not remedy anything. It is not okay to loot,
riot, smash storefronts and cars, spit and beat people up …for
expressing their preferences? No.

This is a pivotal time in
American history. Our new President-Elect has a tough long road ahead
with unprecedented business issues and challenges looming domestically
and internationally and he needs our prayers and support. Being
destructive and negative breed’s destruction and negativity. Being
derisive will not advance us as a country but only retard progress and
there is much work to do.

World Peace begins at home and starts
with a basic show of respect and civility toward each other - especially
our new President-Elect. We need to reunite and support our new
President-Elect who, by the way, won.

In his victory speech
he said, “to those who have chosen not to support me, I reach out to you
and ask for your help so that we can work together and unify our great
country.” It’s time to take responsibility and come together. It’s
time to show respect for our new President-Elect who is going to be our
45th president. There is a code of respectability that accompanies any
president-elect at this time which needs to be honored. As President
Obama has said, it’s important "we can come together to face the
challenges America faces.” And, as Hillary Clinton told her backers:
"We owe him an open mind and the chance to lead."

So let’s give
this President-Elect a chance to make America love again, make America
respected, make America great and strong again. He cannot do it alone.
Help our new President-Elect unite America so this great country can
flourish; “United we stand; divided we fall.”

There are metrics for measuring goals, P&L statements to show bottom-line profits and trophies to reflect triumph however, there is not a gauge to measure character and integrity - central to creating a successful business with loyal employees while enjoying a respected reputation. These traits are felt rather than spoken.

“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel,” says author and poet Maya Angelou.

Others intuit honesty, integrity, truthfulness and feel the way they are regarded. Success is not determined by where we end up, it’s about the journey … and failure does not diminish effectiveness, it builds character.

Companies who enjoy robust reputations and possess impressive bottom lines are typically those whose leaders display strong work ethics. Leading with integrity, character and humor to help deflect tense situations, creates a positive work environment, builds trust and establishes open dialogue and effective communication. Aside from Ronald Reagan … Arthur T. Demoulas and Dan Amos come to mind. Market Basket’s CEO Arthur T. Demoulas’s thoughtful, caring ways together with his moral fiber, strong character, personal ethics and unwavering integrity inspired 25,000 steadfast loyal employees who risked their jobs and engaged in an innately-born open revolution to support him. His personal characteristics form the foundation of Mr. Demoulas’s $4.6 billion company.

Strong leaders exhibit sound moral principles. Character, integrity and faith speak to the core of Dan Amos, CEO of Aflac, who has landed on Fortune’s Most Admired Companies, 100 Best Companies to Work For list and World’s Most Ethical Companies to name a few. These are soft measures acknowledging Amos’s character, integrity and faith for which he is renowned. His philosophy: “Treat others the way they would like to be treated, not the way You want to be treated...” it’s about them.” It is said that failure is a stepping stone to success. “If you’re not failing you’re not taking enough risk therefore, don’t limit the failures.”

When workers feel their leader is invested in them and has their best interest at heart they will give 1000% and will do whatever it takes to help in the quest to ‘reach the unreachable star.’ True leaders have the ability to motivate employees to want to be a part of something greater than themselves and inspire them to rise to the occasion, especially in the face of adversity. Effective leaders inspire trust and others have an innate sense of who they are and work to the best of their ability to make it all come together. Acknowledgment through caring and accolades reflect the moral fiber and character of leadership.

Leading with character and integrity inspires company loyalty which breeds dedication, assures reputation and success. “Walk the talk” and don’t be afraid to stand alone when it is right. Take the right moral ground.

Whether you're looking for a job or working toward a promotion, while technical skills are negotiable, character counts and integrity and work ethic is non-negotiable.

Kerry Healey, Ph.D. is the President of Babson College. She was the 70th Lieutenant Governor of Massachusetts from 2003 to 2007 with Governor Mitt Romney. She served as Foreign Policy Coordinator and Special Advisor on the Romney for President Campaign. Healey also served as the Massachusetts Republican National Committeewoman, and serves on the boards of numerous charities and political organizations.

Jacqueline Moloney is the first woman to serve as Chancellor of University of Massachusetts Lowell. Dr. Moloney embraced technology early, confronting the boys’ network head-on. She became a pioneer in online education making UMass Lowell, a world-class leader in the field. The married mother of two who is also a grandmother – grew up in Tewksbury and was the first in her family to attend college, earning both undergraduate and doctorate degrees at Umass Lowell.

Christie Hefner was Chairman and President of Playboy Enterprises, Inc. for 20 years (1988 -2008) making her the longest serving female chairman and CEO of a U.S. public company.
Her dream was to someday be in the U.S. Senate or U.S. Supreme Court. Instead, when her father’s company was in financial shambles, at age 29, she built it into a billion dollar brand business while at the same time, developed its profitable television business...

Mika Brzezinski, co-host of MSNBC’s “Morning Joe" and founder of the“Know Your Value” movement for women, is the mother of two teen girls, Emili, 19, and Carlie, 17. She is self-described as “a woman who has had a lot of privilege. I came from a prestigious family, and despite the difficulty I gave my parents, somehow they got me educated, cultured and socialized … and it was still hard for me … there were still bumps along the way.”Read more bout Fabulous Woman, Mika Brzezinski

A graduate of Northwestern University, MBA from Kellogg where she met her husband, this mother of three (two boys and a girl) is a former advertising executive, an avid gymnast, kick-boxer instructor!... and married to the most popular governor in the country.