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Bad News

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking this week about the race, and I’ve been putting off posting until I came to a decision. My IT band is not getting better. I tried to run my 20-miler again last weekend, and my knee started to lock up 9 miles in. The fact that I haven’t been getting all my mileage in for the last several weeks has been stressing me out and making me even more nervous about the marathon. I seemed to be lost in a vicious cycle of “needing” to get through a run to prove to myself that I can do the race, and then that added pressure making the run even more stressful and miserable when it doesn’t work out. I haven’t enjoyed a workout in weeks, but I am also heartbroken at the thought of not being able to run New York. Like most first-time marathoners, I’ve subjected everyone I know to constant discussions of training, and I feel like I’d be letting everyone down by pulling out. On the other hand, I don’t want my first marathon to be a painful, miserable event.

Right now, I’m working on a Plan B, which involves backing off my training a bit and running a half marathon in a month or two. I feel like the breathing room will help with the injury and take the pressure off having to “hold up” through 26 miles. I don’t want to abandon the marathon without another goal in sight—I feel like that would just be depressing and leave a major void where all my energy has been for months now. I’m still going to attempt to get through the taper and if things have miraculously improved, I may still run, though with no expectations. For now, as much as it saddens me, I think it’s wise to take the pressure off getting there and focus on just enjoying my runs and getting better.