tension's a killer - still don't know if I have AS

I started reading everything I could on ASD last week, and I've become obsessed. I've read most of the extant websites and I'm now watching lots of videos of autistic children lining stuff up. All the time I'm becoming more convinced I have AS. My shrink appt is not for another week and a half. I'm suddenly getting nervous that I'm going to walk in and he'll tell me no, I don't have it. Which would mean I'm back to where I was, just one guy dealing with his own problems. That never bothered me before but now I have been starting to think there's a reason behind a lot of it. I don't want to start thinking I definitely have Asperger's if I might be deluding myself, but now that I already suspect I do it's making me pretty anxious... what to do? Cigarettes were made for times like this.

Hi there! My suggestion to you would be to read through the discussion forum and try not to worry about whether you have it, or whether or not you are deluding yourself. Just accept yourself, and see what the doctor's "opinion" is. I am in the same boat as you....The diagnosis topic has been a touchy subject lately, or maybe it's always been that way. I haven't been on WP that long.. It's a strange feeling, isn't it?

yeah, I felt like a little kid looking forward to a birthday party during the weeks leading up to my assessment (now I'm trying to think if I actually know what that feels like ... guess not ... I do remember my third birthday party cake though, because it was so awesome).

I occupied my time with a lot of reading and I made a lot of lists of stuff about my childhood. the time passed. I survived. I did smoke cigarettes, but not too many. I made it to my assessment