11.24.2008

In the last week:- I've really struggled with sadness about leaving my congregation.- Mr. M has begun to address some big issues with his family.- I'm starting to realize how mad I am with my diocese. (And at the same time, how relieved I am to discover I wasn't the only one having huge problems with it!)- My father's son from his first marriage (whom I have never met nor spoken to) introduced himself via email.- Did I mention my father and I haven't spoken in years?- A cousin on my father's side got in touch (haven't seen her in over 20 years).

And coming up this week:- We're still going to the in-laws' house for Thanksgiving.- Mr. M and I have decided to find a new apartment (probably moving in March).- On Saturday, I'm having lunch with a friend from college. Really neat guy, but there are reasons to expect it to be awkward.

Life is making me a little queasy. I think the earth's revolutions are causing motion sickness.

11.18.2008

I think I was in a strict "make the best of the situation" frame of mind, and couldn't really let myself think about alternatives. But slowly, the ice is melting, and I'm seeing my best next step as really taking time to fantasize about where I'd love to be, and how I'd love to serve. Then, it will be time to see who looks like the best fit.

Now, I'm going to go re-read Bruggemann, and maybe some Whitman and remember what a useful discernment tool imagination is.

We can insert a lot of caveats about the lurking danger of just completely going wild and out-of-control (similar arguments for the inherant danger of grace, now that I think about it), or about having unrealistic expectations, but I fall a little too clearly on the cynical tightass side of the spectrum for that to be a real concern.

11.14.2008

This week's Friday Five (brought to us by Sophia) invites reflection on the theme of remembrance, which is also present in the feasts of All Saints, celebrated in many liturgical churches on November 1, and All Souls--known in Latino cultures as the Day of the Dead--celebrated in some the following day.

1. Did your church have any special celebrations for All Saints/All Soul's Day?

That we definitely do not do. I would be ok with it (I think), but the rector is an Englishman who is particularly conscious of holidays like these.

3. Did you and your family have a holiday for Veterans' Day/Remembrance Day? If so, how did you take advantage of the break?

Nope! Work as usual.

4. Is there a veteran in your life, living or dead, whose dedication you remember and celebrate? Or perhaps a loved one presently serving in the armed forces?

Actually, in my immediate family, November 10th is more important than Veteran's Day. It's the Marine Corps birthday! I call my mom every year to tell her "Happy Birthday!"

Story time: She spent 21 years in the USMC, and went to the birthday ball every year. Most (if not all) of the other women there were in lovely formal gowns, and she wore her uniform. So the first year that she was retired, we got all dressed up and went to the Marine Room on Nov. 10th to celebrate. (Of course, that "marine" was referring to it's location right on the beach, rather than the military, but we were OK with that.)

5. Do you have any personal rituals which help you remember and connect with loved ones who have passed on?

I got to my polling place at 7:05 this morning (polls opened at 7), and waited in line for about 35 minutes. But you know what? Too many people taking part in the democratic process is exactly the kind of problem I want to have!

11.03.2008

I can be a huge weenie sometimes. Fortunately, Mr. M has a low threshold for this.

I started "dating" new churches this Sunday. (Yes, I'm sticking with the relationship analogy.) I was more than a little terrified to start. My initial plan had been to take a few months off, worship with the Quakers (clearly a good place for discernment), and then start looking. But I met with a new friend last week, and felt like it might be OK to start exploring. I was good until Sunday morning, when I was was not at all pleased to be branching out. Mr. M bundled me up, opened my car door, and showed great forebearance when I fretted all the way to the parking lot.

Getting ready for church stunk. Going into a new church stunk.

Realizing 10 minutes in that church is church, God is God, and this denominational stuff is really not that important was fabulous.