VET’S DICTIONARY

ABCCC= AirBorne Command and Control Center (C-130Es flying out of Udorn RTAFB attached to 7th ABCCC)

ACDUTRA= Active Duty for Training; What the Nasty Guard does one weekend a month and one month every year. Now they do it in Iraq Afganistan for a year.

Acute= temporary affliction; not chronic.

AGL=above ground level

AirAm= Air America; the “cargo/passenger” airline of the CIA. Aka Civil Air Transport (CAT), Continental Air Service (CASI) and Bird and Sons(BirdAir). After Vietnam it changed to Southern Air Transport(SAT) for work in South America. I vote for Consolidated International Airways for the current war(s)

AIRA= Air Attache; Our air boss at the U.S. Embassy in Vientiane

ARMA= Army Military Attache ” ‘ground ” ” ” ”

Airicide= doing something guaranteed to get you killed in an aircraft; flying slowly over enemy-held territory; doing an initial BDA

Augmentation Duty= The first job you had for a month after you got to Thailand. Full battle dress cocked and locked. M-26s and Flak vest were the uniform of the day. The Air Force didn’t have nearly enough SPs for the job so each tenant “contributed” a few to fill out the towers on the perimeter. 12 on. 12 off. Six days a week.

Augur in= to crash fatally in an airplane; literally-to screw a propeller driven aircraft into the ground.

Autopilot= To move the selector switch on a CAR 15/M16A1 from semi to auto.

Bravo

B-40= the 82mm rocket launched by a 40 mm RPG-2; also referred to as a 120cm rocket or 120

Baht= Thai currency

Baked goods= USAID/USIAspeak for what you find after a napalm strike; also Burnt offerings

BBE= Big Brown Envelope. The beautiful, 9″ X 12 (manila) long-awaited decision you have been waiting for from either your Regional Office, the Board of Veterans Appeals or the Court of Veteran’s Appeals. No exterior indicators so it’s always a big surprise whether you won or lost. See also STO or Smooth Tan One

BVA= Board of Veterans Appeals (Board) composed of sixty seven VLJs (fall 2013) with additional Doogie Howser staff attorneys dressed up as Acting Veterans Law Judges for up to 90 days at a time. Each VLJ is authorized up to 1-2 staff attorneys to help prepare his/her cases for adjudication.

BS= Bronze Star; also BSM Vets didn’t say BS. They said bullshit.

Charlie

C Rations= canned food left over from the Korean War. Forerunner to MREs.

C&P= Compensation and Pension examination; also a D&P show

CAR= Combat Action Ribbon

CAR-15= Carbine (shorty) version of the venerable M-16. Made by Mattel, it’s swell.

CAS= Controlled American Source. The ranking resident Customer in charge of the Spook show; your assumed boss; never referred to as a CIA Anything

Chicom= Chinese Communist; in Thailand, referred to as CT or Communist Terrorist

Chieu Hoi= Vietnamese for ‘I surrender’. More appropriately, it describes the RVN practice of converting deserters over to productive soldiers. Often called the “an acre and a mule” project by JUSMAAG, it was very effective.

Cholon= the Chinese district you went to in Saigon to get tattoos and the clap.

Chronic= not acute; something that afflicts one for life

CIB= Combat Infantryman’s Badge

cirrhosis= what happens to your liver 40 years after Vietnam or a jetgun injection. Caused by alcoholism, homelessness, incarceration for more than 2.5 days, snorting toot, shooting up, piercing anything on your body. Can be caused before or after service by wild, unprotected sex with more than five partners (in a lifetime) and tattoos. Very rarely related to service.

Comatoast= When you wake up at Letterman General and the last thing you remember is someone yelling “Incoming” at LZ Bronco.

Concertina wire= barbed wire on steroids. Made by Gillette as near as I could tell.

Construe= Verb; (kn-str) VAspeak for the act of attempting to misdefine what it is you are filing for; see also “interpret”, “infer”, “feel” and “implied”; to prognosticate via the reading of chicken entrails, perforce to read tea leaves or adduce by Ouija Board. Often arrived at by astrology or inevitable human sacrifice (yours)

C/T= Copy That; Charlie Tango. also Roger That (R/T). also two clicks on the microphone PTT switch

CSO= County Service Officer. See also VSOOne who is legally permitted to represent you before the VARO and the BVA-but not the CAVC; the one who’s never there when you call; the one who is seen departing out the back door when you come in the front.

CUE= Clear and Unmistakable Error

Customer= who we and AirAm worked for up country. Last names were usually Smith, Jones, Brown, and Doe; aka Spooks; CIA, CAS

CYA= cover your ass

Delta

D&P= Dog and Pony show; your Compensation and Pension examination; a VA procedure where the outcome has already been decided in advance; For the benefit of the cameras.

DAP=Dial-a-prayer=1-800-827-1000; aka Dial a Smile

DAV= Disabled American Veterans VSO ; The major VSO with the worst track record

DD Form 214= What you need to start your claim. It has everything you forgot.

de novo= lawspeak for a new look at your claim. When you submit new and material (N&ME) evidence, the raters have to do a new assessment based now on a lot more stuff. They usually top page it and deny again. Having an attorney about now can cure it otherwise you are heading to DC to get in line for a two year wait.. A DRO hearing/review will incur the same delay but if they deny, you then begin the DC trip two years later than planned.

Dead stick= what happens to the control column when the propeller ceases to make revolutions

EOD= Explosive Ordnance Disposal. The guys who pick up the UXO (UneXploded Ordnance)

EPTS= Existed Prior To Service; As in pre-existing before your military service. Equal to 0%.

EQUITABLE TOLLING= Legal concept where Veteran asks for more time to accomplish something associated with his claim. Often argued where a time limit is missed due to the dog eating your Form 9.

ERAWAN= The three-headed elephant and symbol of the Kingdom of Laos until the Commies took over.

ESTOPPEL=legal term that explains what happens when you believe what VA tells you. VA is “estopped” from giving you advice that you foolishly rely on. If it harms you or your claim, it is illegal and must be rectified.

Etiology= fancy way of saying where you got the disease/injury

ETOH= Ethyl Alcohol; Ethanol, of or having to do with adult beverages; also Extremely Trashed Or Hammered.

Foxtrot

FAC= Forward Air Controller. Call signs were for where you were assigned.; Raven, Nail, Misty, Rustic, Covey to name a few

Hillsboro= C-130 E from 7th ABCCC (Airborne Command and Control Center) out of Udorn RTAFB ; flew a 24 hour racetrack pattern over southern Laos; Our dispatcher. Hillsboro was the nightime callsign versus Cricket during the day

Hmong= Also Meo ; Upcountry Laotian hills people commanded by Lt. Gen. Vang Pao. Hmong pilots were some of the bravest and craziest on earth.

Hot Soup= AirAm radio nickname for Napalm; see also Liquid Sunshine

Howard= God; as in -Our Father, who art in Heaven, Howard be thy name. See also Andy

Huey= UH-1 rotary wing aircraft in numerous configurations. Stays airborne best when not subjected to ground fire. Rotary wing is Armyspeak for chopper. Very poor aerodynamic capabilities after losing power or hydraulics.

Hx=History

India

I Corps= Northernmost Area of Operations in the Republic of Vietnam abutting Laos, the Demilitarized Zone and the So. China Sea. It stretched from Quang Tri to Quang Ngai.

II Corps= Two Corps was the largest of the four Tactical Zones or AO (Area of Operations).

III Corps= Three Corps encompassed Saigon, Bien Hoa and Vung Tau. Well, there was more than that but you can buy a map.

IV Corps= 4 Corps. The rubber tree plantations with all the french chicks out nude sunbathing beside their pools. We were polite. We always waved when we flew over at 100’ASL.

IFN= Interferon; bug juice; the Dragon; rat piss;

IME= Independent Medical Examination (VA gets to choose which doctor from their stable)

Jetgun filter= Picture(right) of what you will never see in any Military jetgun lines. They never used these things. the picture here is from the training manual.

JMR= Joint Motion for Remand. A legal device employed, often as not, by the VA’s prosecutor at the Court of Appeals. When VA realizes they’ve stepped on their weiners, they immediately ask for a do over. They excuse themselves as one would if flatulent on Sunday in church. Upon remand back to the BVA, the Judge and his minions begin sharpening their pencils and crossing the t’s and dotting the i’s and erasing the smudge marks that the Court of Appeals objected to. This is the beginning of your next denial unless you’re very careful.

JOVO= Just One Vet’s Opinion (also J1VO)

JWB= Johnnie Walker Black; snake bite medicine that only works if ingested daily

JWR= Johnnie Red. Inferior substitute for above

Kilo

KATN=Kick Ass and Take Names

KIA= Killed In Action; also KHA -Killed by Hostile Action

Kip= Laotian currency

klic= kilometre

Krate= First cousin to the MPV. The two-step snake. 7 seconds to say “oh, shit”

Lima

Laches= legal term that means you can file whenever you want to-even 40 years later.

Laos= Small country to the north of Thailand and west of the DRV and Cambodia. Neutral. Not on Military maps. Address unknown. No such number, no such zone.

Layo-layo– Thai/Southern Laotian for RFN

LBJ= Long Binh Jail; aka Long Binh Stockade or Long Binh Home for Wayward Youth

Lima Site (LS)= small Hmong or American outposts in Laos with incredibly short (STOL) runways. Most famous up-country was LS-20 A (Long Tieng) or L-54 (Luang Prabang). http://www.laoveterans.com/about.html

LRRP= Long Range Reconnaissance Patrol. Army 11Bravos who went sightseeing for a week or ten days at a time out in the bush. Notable for never returning with any captured enemy soldiers.

LOD= Line Of Duty; often seen in medrecs and milrecs; used to determine service connection

Lumber in— to crash in the forest; as in “he caught a 37mm in the engine and lumbered in but he walked away from it”. aka to auger in; perchance to screw the airplane in tightly to the ground in an arborous setting.

LZ= Landing Zone; usually room for at least one Huey to land in; not to be confused with large military encampments. See LZ- Cork

M-79= 40mm grenade launcher(single shot). The Blooper; What Sen. Kerry used to get his PH. aka Mr. Thumper

MPs= Malaria Pills; crushed and mixed with water or club soda to make tonic water for Tanqueray and Tonics. Also reputed to help with malaria

MRE= Meal, Ready to Eat. Three lies in one sentence

Meo= Mountain tribes (irregular) army of Gen. Vang Pao in Laos also known as Hmong.

Medrecs=Medical records STRs or SMRs

Milrecs= Military records

Milk run= a side trip for nothing. Wasted effort while flying

MFR= Motion For Reconsideration

MIA= Missing In Action

MISTY= Fast FAC. A RF-4 from 432nd TRW Udorn RTAFB

MOPH= Military Order of the Purple Heart VSO. Well-meaning. Poorly trained.

MPV= Malaysian Pith Viper. Something you do not want to be bitten by. Not always found in Malaysia. Meaner than the junkyard dog.

Munji= jetgun

November

N&ME= New and Material Evidence; What you need to reopen a claim. Any added evidence after a denial that may change the denial to a win. Must be new as in never submitted and material in that it pertains to the claim and may help in making a decision.

NEGATIVE OBJECTIVE= The term to describe what happens when a pilot was shot down and killed over the fence. Rescue was pointless and indeed dangerous, hence the radio term.

Newbie= Cherry, FNG; in country less than 3 months

NIB= New In Box; two meanings: 1)a new weapon; 2)body arriving in Hickam AFB Honolulu on it’s way home to the World-i.e. dead in a coffin

nexus= a letter from a doctor stating that you have : 1) A current disease; 2) The same disease in service or presumptive risk, and 3) the disease or risk in service is what is responsible for what you have now.

90 Day Wonder= newly minted 2nd Lt.

NOKD= Not Our Kind, Dear; Australian, New Zealander, British- but simply not American;

Nosegun= Cocaine or heroin straw- also nose cannon.

NOA=Notice of Appeal; submittal to CAVC within 120 days of BVA denial requesting Appellate review.

NOD= Notice of Disagreement

NOTAM= NOtice To AirMen; information on file at the Air Operations Center. Notice of heavy groundfire or smoky conditions during burn season. Special notices to inform pilots of changed or dangerous conditions, airfields changing hands, and the like.

NOS= Not otherwise specified (medical abbreviation)

NOVEMBER CHARLIE= Negative Copy; I did not receive your last transmission.

Noy dayo= Laotian- small amount: little; infinitesimal;

NPRC=National Personnel Records Center (the warehouse in St. Louis with no smoke detectors or sprinklers). Last major fire (reported) was in 1973.

Oscar

OGC= Office of General Counsel; sometimes identified as (027); the folks you will fighting when you get to the CAVC. In civilianspeak, we call them the prosecutors.

OJs= opium joint

Oke-San= wife, significant other, common-law girlfriend in Louisiana

O/L= Operating Location, usually at the ass end of nowhere doing things for the Government that they wanted to keep out of sight. A place that usually isn’t on any military maps. a Fig Newton of the imagination. Usually a letter/number identifier

Original claim= Your debut at the VA. In VAspeak, you only have one claim with the VA. You simply keep adding to your original “check engine light” which was when you filled out Form 21-526. The last two digits refers to how many pages long it is. You would remember that day. It was like taking the SATs- two hours. Take your autobiography with you or bring the form home. This is your make-break document. What you write in it will color your decisions on claims for life.

Papa

P&T= Permanent and Total rating; 100% VA compensation check; No more C&P Exams

Pathet Lao= Laotian communist troops

PAVN= People’s Army of Vietnam( Viet Cong); gooks;dinks; slopes;

PCOD= Pussy Cut Off Date- The last day sex may be accomplished and still go home without fear of of a gram positive test for the clap. STDs had to be cured prior to DEROS.

PCS= Permanent Change of Station. A transfer to a new base.

PCT=Porphyria Cutanea Tarda (the only disease jointly associated with AO and hep)

PDJ= (French) Plaine des Jarres; the Plain of Jars(Laos) aka “extreme western boundary of the DMZ”

The Alpha 6 Actual (right) indicating to the R/T he has no intention of talking to the S3 at the TOC

Project 404= Highly-classified clandestine program that used volunteer FACs in-country in Laos. No ID cards, no Geneva Conventions cards, no uniforms, no POW status; often referred to as the Steve Canyon program. Also known as Palace Dog. The Udorn RTFB training and AirAm repair facility was known as Waterpump http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_404

Pucker Factor= The correlation between how tight the anal sphincter is divided by the degree of danger multiplied by the number of bullets with a near trajectory. Expressed mathematically, it appears as PF=AS/D X 7.62x39mm+n

Punch out= To eject from an airplane. Jet fighters have rocket-propelled ejection chairs. Small prop planes have small, non-rocket propelled doors without parachutes; also slang= to die

PH= Purple Heart Medal awarded for being wounded in combat

Quebec

QTC= the place we go to get our C&P exam (Quality Technology Costs); Company begun by former VASECs Principi and Peake. Absolutely a coincidence they got (and continue to get) the VA contract.

Ribbon clerk= one of those fellows you saw at the Western Union office down at the train depot with the eyeshade on. Remember the funny little ribbon doomoflotchies they wore on their sleeves to prevent ink smears? They’ve been outsourced to India now so we never see them anymore.

REMF= A euphemism for an admin guy- the first two letters of which stand for Rear Echelon. Easily identified by all their “I was there” medals.

Retreads= old pineapple grenades from WW2 modified by NVA with new prussic acid fuses. Success rate was 3/5. 1/5 exploded when “cork” was pulled. 1/5 were out-and-out duds.

RFN= right f …..g now. Only used in emergent situations

RFQ= Risk Factors Questionnaire for Hepatitis; be careful what you check off

ROE= Rules of Engagement (see Romeos) Someone always has to make killing rules nobody on either side obeys.

ROI= Release Of Information; Where you go at the VAMC to find out what’s wrong with you. They will give you your medical records so you can play doctor. They can be bribed with chocolate.

ROKs = Republic of Korea Army troops who were renowned for never capturing any enemy alive in the ten years they “practiced” war and aided us.

Romeos= Rules Of Engagement -also ROEs= where you can shoot, who you can shoot, when you can shoot and what kind of ordnance you can drop.

Roundeye= An American or anyone of European descent (female). Not of Asian descent

RUQP= Right Upper Quadrant Pain (where your liver is)

RUSTIC= Highly classified operation run directly out of the Nixon White House in 1970 during the Cambodian “intrusion”. It utilized USAF personnel who spoke French as back-seaters in FAC aircraft to converse with Cambodian pilots. The program expanded into Laos shortly afterward.

RVN= Republic of Vietnam (South)

Sierra

SAM= Surface to Air Missile.

SATP= Substance Abuse Treatment Program

SC=Service connected

Scrip= the funny money you were given in country in lieu of greenbacks; MPCs=Military Payment Certificates

SEA= Southeast Asia; the Indochinese peninsula consisting of the former RVN, DRV, Cambodia, Laos, and Thailand

SCOTUS= Supreme Court Of the United States

Sec. Bob at the office.

Secretary Bob= VASEC ( VA Secretary) Robert “Call me Bob” McDonald enthroned in 2014 or 2015 to great fanfare. Lots of noise. No reforms or none that you can see. Fire one, pardon 500. SOSDD.

SEG= Shit-Eaten Grin as in “He’s short. He’s got SEG all over his face.” Pronounced like “egg.”

SES= Senior Executive Service. The upper crust of the VA. These folks cannot be fired for any crimes-just transferred someplace for rehabilitation with no loss in pay.

SF88= The form used to do induction and separation exams.

SF92= Same as above with pretty much all the same slots

SFW= Shell Fragment Wound; shrapnel

Short or Shortimer= someone with less than 30 days to DEROS

Silk Coffin= Parachute; what we used to wrap up a body before body bags back in the 60-70’s.

Silver BB= the bullet that almost kills you and convinces you that you are no longer immune to the Golden BB

Six Actual= The boss (Slats), not to be confused with Six (the one carrying the PRC 25)

SMS= Single-malt Scotch; water of life; a fifth was a blank check for anything you wanted

Smoke= smoke grenades in different colors (white, red green, yellow and rarely violet; as in: to pop smoke; Gooks would sometimes pop smoke to get you to land in the wrong spot to ambush you. In Vietnam, slick drivers would often radio the alpha 6 to “Call your smoke” (color) to be sure.

SMRs= Service Medical Records; now STRs(Service Treatment Records)

SO= Service Officer (from VSO); The representative you can never find to talk to.

STO= Smooth Tan One. The long-awaited decision that tells you if you will have seven fat years or seven more lean years and extensive famine while you appeal the denial. aka VA claims Decision.

STOL= Short takeoff and landing; examples of STOL aircraft are O-1s, U-17s, Pilatus PC-6 and Helio- Couriers. The most lethal form of fixed wing air transport in SEA. Sometimes called the safest because they could just “barely” kill you.

Tango= a T-28 prop aircraft. Official name was a Trojan but that name was already taken by the rubber company

Tango 28 . This was my chauffeur-driven Lexus many times. The “O” stood for obsolete. Note the pod with the marker rockets on the outboard pylon

Tattoo rule= if you had a tattoo before service, VA will say that’s when you got HCV. If your service entrance exam shows no tattoos, and your exit exam shows any at all, then you have a service connected tattoo. If you have contemporary picture evidence and/or buddy letters, you can win, too.

Texas Necktie Party= To hang by the neck with hemp rope until dead. What you can expect from the Veterans Benefits Administration on your claim; unlawful justice

TF= trip flare (actuated by pulling the wire on it) used with Concertina Wire

TIC= Troops In Contact; Usually an emergent situation that involves a lot of radio traffic

TnT= Tanqueray and Tonic. Breakfast of Champions; 94 proof

THUD= F105 Thunderchief

Tracer= a special kind of bullet that leaves a trail so you can see where you’re shooting. Unfortunately, it leaves a trail from whence it began. Most intelligent Vets removed them from their clips in SEA.

trip flare= M-49 a small anti-personnel flare tied to concertina wire that was easy to set off by movement. see TF above. PAVN were quite adept at removing them

TUOC= Tactical Unit Operations Center; Fortified Command Post usually found at Operating Locations. One way in-one way out. aka TOC

TY4YS= Thank you for your Service; The vA way of recognizing you’re a financial drag on their bottom line

Uniform

UCMJ= Uniform Code of Military Justice

ULUZ.com= latest link from Ebenefits.com telling you that you lost your claim or appeal. Soon to be installed in 2015 in conjunction with the 125 day claim w/ 98% accuracy.

Uncle Ho= Ho Chi Minh, aka Mr. Ho, Capt. Ho, Col. Ho

Undesirable Discharge= DD Form 258= useful as a certificate of attendance to prove service. Useless for obtaining compensation benefits. Entitles you to free medical care at VAMCs only.

USAID= USAgency for International Development; a fancy way of saying CIA; Who I worked for according to my ID and Laotian Driver’s license

USIA= US Information Agency; a more subtle way of saying CIA

Victor

V1-– The little red sign on the side of the active runway that tells you that you need a certain amount of airspeed at this point in order to become airborne.

V2— The little red sign on the side of the active runway that tells you if you are not airborne at this time that you need to retard the throttle, pop the drag chute, stand on the binders and/or collapse the landing gear since it appears you do not intend to take off.

VA Examiner= Your worst nightmare in your claims process. The one who gets to “construe” what it is you are filing for and decides it. A wannabe doctor/lawyer.

VFW= Veterans of Foreign Wars VSO; That says it all. Good bars and good looking bartenders who are usually Veteran’s wives. Virtually all members claim to have been in Vietnam after three drinks. In the 70s-90s, VFW forbid Vietnam Veterans membership saying Vietnam was not a “war”.

VHA= Veterans Health Administration- VAMCs, CBOCs

Victor Alpha= Veterans Administration

VLJ= Veterans Law Judge. 78 at last count and they work for VASEC. 358 listed “acting VLJs”

VSC=Veterans Service Center. Your VARO; an oxymoron

VSO= Veterans Service Organizations; also Very Stupid and Obsolete

VSTOL= Very short take-off and landing; O-1s, PC-6s and Helio Couriers

Wheelgun= A six-shot revolver-usually a S&W= no safety, no jams; often purchased privately by pilots and AirAm personnel

White Horse= dexamphetamine; Prescription speed; Breakfast of Champions; recognizable by the Horse’s Head stamped on the tablet. Local Pharmacies in SEA did not require a prescription for anything. USAF issued dexamphetamine to aircrews.

White Mice= RVN policemen in the largest cities named for their snappy white uniforms

I have wondering for years about the training for a vso. What are the prerequisites? This guy is not like the ones I have been in contact with. I dealth with the dav numerous times and they were worthless. I also had the CDVA in los angeles who really screwed me in 2002. There must be some integrity with this job? Who is accountable for services rendered to vets? I would like to review the training or see what their testing looks like for accreditation. I would assume anger management courses are mandatory.

I was recently terminated as a part time “PAID” VSO with the VFW. I have done claims since 2004 and never once did I have a complaint of any kind. Ok, I put first name last and last name: you get the drift. But I was dismissed (office at Phila VAMC & Vet Centers) because, well they claimed I was a liability because I had a tendency to research and develop claims for vets. Vets who are illiterate, burned out, not sure what to do next… I didn’t bother to burn any bridges. I am waiting for my test date for NSO so I can work for myself. So, if the VFW in Philadelphia spent $331 twice a m month for 6 new part time service officers, who actually help with claims, my math says $47.664 a year salary. That’s half the tab of all the booze spent at the state and national conventions in 2011.