Here at NJATVS, we spent hours upon hours speculating the fate of Leo Fitz from Agents of SHIELD. We would talk about it all day, throwing theories back and forth and debating the merits of each. I would wake up in the middle of the night and send frantic texts to NJATVS writer Jason Jones in all caps, screaming, “WHAT IF THEY MAKE FITZ A VILLAIN?”

Screen capture of an actual conversation

Cue gross sobbing.

We debated everything from Fitz being confined to a wheelchair, to total amnesia. But we never once thought that Simmons would LEAVE and Fitz would go completely whackadoo and start FREAKING HALLUCINATING HER.

It’s two days later, and I still have not recovered from the emotional shock.

This is the hard part about getting emotionally invested in characters, be it books, television, what have you. They become a part of your family. You laugh with them, you cry with them, you feel their pain. I remember reading the last Harry Potter book and bawling my grown ass eyes out like a baby over the death of Hedwig, Harry’s owl. Hedwig was a beloved friend who had been with Harry since the beginning, and ultimately gave his life to save Harry.

I’m not crying, you’re crying. Shut up.

With Fitzsimmons, they’re built to end up together. It’s fate. They’re introduced as a single entity, for Pete’s sake! Marvel handed us a ship on a silver platter, then stomped on it. They made a premeditated decision, done with malice and completely without remorse. I DEMAND JUSTICE!

Ahem. I apologize for that outburst.

Really, we wouldn’t feel this way if it wasn’t well written. The Marvel writers are experts in causing emotional trauma, and we as the fans eat it right up. Let’s not forget that the chemistry that the actors create. It is such a testament to their skills. Iain DeCaestecker as Leo Fitz will become so deliciously painful this season. Watching someone with such a brilliant mind struggle to find the word he wants to use got me a bit teary-eyed. The little things he does – wiggling his fingers as he tries to think, tearing up in frustration, making his voice crack – are what show you the depth of the mental anguish that Fitz is going through. Not to mention that he has a face built for puppy eyes.

What is really nagging at me is why did Simmons leave? It just seems so out of character. She and Fitz have always been there for each other, and now, when he needs her most, she up and bolts. Could she gotten scared away by Fitz declaring his love for her? Could it be that she just can’t take seeing him at half capacity? Neither of those seem likely to me. Simmons is a stronger woman than that. I would think she would be there right by his side, coming up with exercises to help get his brain moving. Especially after everything he did for her. It just doesn’t add up. Foul play is afoot.

Oh god…Could Simmons be Hydra?
No.
No, that can’t happen.
But, it could!
BUT, BUT IT BETTER NOT!
What did I just do to myself?
Okay. Deep breath. Move on.

I can’t leave this episode behind without discussing Grant Ward. At this point, I am fully with Skye. Ward betrayed us at the deepest level. I don’t care if he found Jesus, or whatever his deal is now, but you can’t cut someone (or a group of someones) that deep and expect them to just up and forgive you. The team (and the fans) will never be able to fully trust Ward again. Giving up Hydra intel is a good start to making amends, but it is going to take a hell of a lot more than that to get back in my good graces. As writer Jeff Sack and I were fond of saying about Paul Briggs from Graceland, it can absolutely be applied to this situation…BRING ME THE HEAD OF GRANT WARD!

This episode took me on quite the emotional roller coaster – happy, because YAY, SHIELD!, sad, because of Fitzsimmons, and oh so very angry because of Ward. After the episode ended, and I could finally move after the initial shock of Fitz’s situation, I got up, went to my bed and lay facing the wall. It was such a shock, I needed to just lay there and reassess my life. The next day, I couldn’t go on Instagram, I couldn’t re watch the episode like I had planned, I couldn’t do anything on the internet for fear of being reminded of it. It took me until two days later to even think about writing anything. Even explaining it to coworkers (who doesn’t watch the show? What is wrong with people?) got me all worked up again.