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Author
Topic: I have a question (Read 4891 times)

So I found out I was positive 2 months ago, I just went to my first visit with my doctor to see where my levels of everything was. But they put me on a IV for some reason and said my blood pressure was little high. Since I have found out about my HIV positive status I been drinking everyday to help me numb the feelings of everything. I swore to myself all the time this would not happen to me. I was always told about these things. I mostly really upset with myself because there no one to blame but myself. I guess I am going to just try to deal with all this one day at time, but the fact of me ever finding a life long partner is very low to none. I feel if I ever get close to any guys I might have interest in I could lose them just as quick as I found them.

Hi satsgurl84. I am new to this too, under a month. I am having some of the same feelings as you -- I, too, said I'd never let this happen and I worry about the future, particularly finding love, etc. But you've got to realize that we are not alone in this; it happens to the best of us. One day at a time is the right approach. Please remember you are the same person and take care of yourself. There are lots of people here to talk to on this forum and I honestly believe that it will get better. We just have a "new normal" to get accustomed to. It's hard to find the right words to say and when people who aren't in the same boat have tried to comfort me it feels empty because they don't know how this feels, they can only imagine. So I don't mean to patronize. We can't help our feelings but it's what we do with them that will count in the long run.

Hey CiceroThanks for the words I do get what u mean by all means. But I guess I haven't really woke up from this dream I believe I am having. I think sometimes this isn't real or something got mixed up with my test and blood etc etc. But then again its rare for that to happen so they say I guess. I just have to deal with a lot right now. U say it happens to the best of us? that might be a understatement but I get what u mean boo.

Hi satsgurl84. I am new to this too, under a month. I am having some of the same feelings as you -- I, too, said I'd never let this happen and I worry about the future, particularly finding love, etc. But you've got to realize that we are not alone in this; it happens to the best of us. One day at a time is the right approach. Please remember you are the same person and take care of yourself. There are lots of people here to talk to on this forum and I honestly believe that it will get better. We just have a "new normal" to get accustomed to. It's hard to find the right words to say and when people who aren't in the same boat have tried to comfort me it feels empty because they don't know how this feels, they can only imagine. So I don't mean to patronize. We can't help our feelings but it's what we do with them that will count in the long run.

Reaction to the results is difffernt for everyone, but over time you will find a way of coping with the virus that suits you and it might be quite differnt from how others deal with it.

No one here will ever tell you it's easy, it's ok to get angry or scared but don't let it take over your life, stress is natural it can actually help some of us get through certain situations, but excessive stress can cause you physical symptoms and can damage your immune system further, just find ways to manage any stress you may be feeling, learn to relax and listen to your body.

Along with HIV comes anxiety and one way of tackling this is through information. gaining confidence in yourself and making informed decisions about your future.

Support is very important and you can get this from a qualified ID doctor , family and friend that you trust, and there are many support organizations out there...just make sure whoever you discuss this with is sympathetic, supporting and non judgmental about your HIV status.

Most important of all you have to remember that being HIV+ does not stop you from being the person you were before your diagnosis.

Trust me you will find a partner when you are ready, don't give up there are some great guys out there.

Hi Satgurl, I am new to this as well just 20 days after poz diagnosis. What you felt is exactly like mine. Every moment I wanted this reality to be a dream. At the moment I wouldn't prefer to think about my long term future but rather dealing with just the current moment. As many say that it gets better by time, I strongly believe that as there is lot of difference between how I felt 15 days back to how I feel now. I believe this is not going to change what we are but it is like an accident and you recover and get back to the same normal. The only difference would be a quarterly doctor appointment and daily pill. Wish you all the best for your further coming life and a great partner to you.

Im in SATX also! jus found out in july. Let me know if u want to meet and talk abt things cuz i was feeling the same way too but now things have completely turned around and I am happier than ever. Let me know whats up!.

Thanks everyone for the words, im still upset about all this. But im ok some days and other days haha. I have been going out just havijg fun n kicking it with friends to keep my mind off things. Thats cool ur in the same city as me lol I didnt think i ever find someone on here. If u have kik its a app free send me a message tsgurl84 nite everyone

Im in SATX also! jus found out in july. Let me know if u want to meet and talk abt things cuz i was feeling the same way too but now things have completely turned around and I am happier than ever. Let me know whats up!.

Hey Whats up everyone! I saw that personal tab I did sign up for it but alot of people from San Antonio Texas does want to put up their picture I guess they are ashamed or too scared to. But I Hope everyone is doing ! I am feeling better about the whole thing n life. But I have been going out dancing alot now LOL

CAN SOMEONE TELL ME HOW TO DELETE THIS POST ALL OF IT I WANT IT TAKEN DOWN ALL OF IT

Unfortunately we can't delete threads (which I assume you mean) because they might actually help other people. What we can do, and what will happen if you decide to stop participating in the forum, is that the thread will quickly sink past the front page and become more and more obscure in searches.

I get the impression that this might be a disclosure issue? Someone you didn't want maybe tracked you down via this site? There might be ways to change your screen name to something else if you'd like. Perhaps if you PM the other moderators, they can help.

I do know it's not generally our policy to delete threads or to "disappear" people from the forums. But I also know that Ann and Andy and Jeff are compassionate people who will do what they can.

Logged

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

Take your time getting back your mojo after the shock of an HIV diagnosis.Its not all doom and gloom. Plenty of opportunity for a new love - maybe HIV+ maybe HIV- . Real love is built on a lot, and everyone has baggage of some sort. In a nutshell, drinking is self-medicating for the storm and stress of the diagnosis. Don't expect it to be a long range solution. Yes it will dull the stress today. But you know what you got to do to really deal with this news....

Logged

“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Well I found out that I am Hiv + well before finding out for sure, I was sleeping with a guy throughout the time I was waiting for my test results. So my question is it a high risk that he could become Hiv + now. I am a bottom so the guy was a top and sadly but yes it was unprotected sex. It was after a night out of drinking alot and we both met each other at the bar and kept in touch after. But it was only that one night but we had sex about three to four times that one night. I really dont want to tell him because he knows where I live work school and kind of puts my safety at risk because he could flip out or get drunk like he always does, act out against me.

Also I heard that a persons body does just become hiv+ over night that it could take anywhere from 5months to year ? is that true? Well I hope I can get some answer because this guy still contacts me just through text. I haven't really wanted to see him anymore because of all of this.

We only permit one account per person here and having and using more than one account is a bannable offence. However, since you're new to hiv and need support, I'm giving you the benefit of doubt that you meant no harm.

I have disabled your two newest accounts, Hopelesslove and Hope4newlife. If you wish to participate in these forums, you must use your original account, satsgurl84.

If you create or attempt to create yet another new account, we will have no choice but to permanently ban you. Please don't do that! We want you to have access to the knowledge, love and support available here, but you must abide by our rules.

If there is a confidentiality or other problem with the screen name of your original account, send me or Jeff G a PM ASAP to let one of us know what name you would like it changed to and we can do that for you, no problem. If/when we change your screen name, all your previous posts will show the new name and there will be no record of the original. Please let us know.

Also I heard that a persons body does just become hiv+ over night that it could take anywhere from 5months to year ? is that true?

In a word, no.

The vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six weeks, with the average time to seroconversion being only 22 days. A six week negative is highly unlikely to change, but must be confirmed at three months. The official testing window period for a conclusive negative result is three months to catch the rare person who takes a little longer than six weeks to produce enough antibodies to trigger a fully positive antibody result.

It can take anywhere from a year or so, up to twenty years (or more) for someone to start becoming ill due to hiv. However, this has nothing to do with antibody production. A person can be without any symptoms or problems due to hiv damaging their immune system, but they will still test hiv positive by six weeks following initial infection.

The insertive partner is at a lower risk for hiv infection, but he has had a risk and he does need to test. He should be testing regularly anyway.

Please don't hesitate to let us know if you need your original screen name changed.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts