Sunday, September 9, 2012

I'm really not good at doing this Blog... even though I know its important..
Tomorrow is my sister's birthday... she's my sister, but she grew up with my Aunt, Uncle
and cousins. You see, when my parents were divorced, my Father brought us back to Greenock.
My Father and I stayed at my Gran and Grandad's... there was no more room, as My Uncle David still lived there, as he hadn't married yet.
My brother and my sister stayed at my Aunt and Uncle's home. When my dad remarried , only my brother came and stayed with my dad. I was told that the reason was my aunt had lost a baby , and didn't want my sister to leave. So here we are today.... tomorrow is my sister's birthday !
She grew up with my cousins, and to her they are her brothers and sister.
I do understand that.. but... well, the thing is, I remember her as that wee baby... always thought of her as my sister... I want to send her sister things on Facebook, but cant. I want to send her cards through the mail, but something stops me... I love her.. I feel somewhat jealous of her and my cousin's relationship. It , of course isn't their fault..
Its times like this, that I want to blame my Mother... she had the affair... its her fault our family was broken up.
So today, I feel sad... sad for what I'm missing, sad for the way things turned out... tomorrow I will push my shoulders back, send a Happy birthday to my gorgeous sister that I LOVE so much, and smile, because its HER day ...