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Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Respect

Martin comes in to follow up on our
conversation from yesterday with some new questions.

Pat O is in the neighborhood and stops into
review plans for ourupcoming retreat.

Time to go meet Elise and talk about
plans for the Friday housewarming she is planning for me.

4/3

Having rented a truck, I stop at the
church to unload some things from my apartment that no longer fit there but can
be of use to the church.A long drive to
Flatbush to drop a couch at Nate’s will follow. Driving a Uhaul truck is an
adventure.

4/4

All day getting ready for the
housewarming/blessing.

4/6

The Session has gathered for a long and serious
meeting concerning our future. We need to talk among ourselves, gain clarity
before meeting with the Center Board tomorrow. Sometimes the enormity of the
knowns, combinedwith the potential
gravity of the unknowns are enough to make some of us question, ask what’s the
point, is it worth it, if we will spend our last financial, emotional, spiritual
resources in a losing effort to prop up a terminal building? What has happened
to our congregation, the real church, during this process? Can we generate enough
rental money from the church house to replace what we would have gotten from
our latest run away partner? If we don’t have sufficient band-width, where will
we find it?

It’s just a reality that given what we have
gone through, we have to occasionally revisit these questions. These years have
been hard on us. But every time, at least so far, we come out of the
conversation with a renewed commitment to stay the course.

While the meeting is concluding, I get a text
from my friend Jean. She’s in the chapel waiting. She’s here with a group from
California, to do rebuilding workfrom
hurricane Sandy in the devastated Rockaways beach neighborhood. They’re staying
out at First Presbyterian, Jamaica, Queens, the oldest church in the
Presbytery. Born 350 years go. They welcome church groups from all around the country
doing Sandy work and their pastor
Patrick is a leader in IAF and a passionate spokesperson against gun violence.
Jean also is working on creating a new worshipping community whose rasion d’etre will be service, like this
project. We have been friends for 30 years.

As I talk with her in the chapel, Hugo comes
in and I introduce them and when she learns he’s from Nicaragua, she shares
someof her experiences in that country.
Something else we share in common. The last time she was here, Teddy was
helping Martin construct his studio. Teddy could sense there was something
special about Jean and he gave her one of those radiant, deep quiet smiles of
his.

On our way to Times Square for a play, we stop
at the Gate and encounter Pat O ad RL and the conversation turns to the Open
Mic and Jeanie sees a real opportunity. The diverse mix of genres and styles,
more so the people who perform them, ages and ethnicities and competencies, the
open accepting and collaborative environment, the creation of community, all of
this makes it a fundable project and she knows how to do that. This
conversation will continue.

I’m in the office, finishing planning for
tomorrow’s service. RL stops in for conversation, but I’m annoyed by sounds from outside. Boisterous laughter, boasting, bragging, guffawing, etc.I tell RL I can’t concentrate and have to go
outsideand deal with this. He asks if I
want company and I figure that’s not a bad idea.

Joe and La Toya and a few guests are hanging
on the steps. I begin by saying this is inappropriate. Its after midnight, It
has to be quiet here.

And in aflash, I’ve got an eminence grise in my face, eyes dark with anger.
Yelling about respect. Like crazy people, con artists and street hustlers, he
knows exactly what buttons to push and I’m telling him respect is what it is
all about. Soon Joe has entered, macho posturing and all yelling about the
stress he’s under. Just as the first guy is coming off on who you gonna care
about, these homeless people you sposed to care about or those white bread
fairies across the street? RL leads him away leaving me with angry Joe.

La Toya, the only one who senses, this can go
south very quickly and that their place on the stepsmay be in jeopardy, stepsbetween the first guy and RL. You escalatin', she says.

Next thing I know, the Midnight Run van pulls
up, spilling out happy, cheery suburbanites here to help the homeless with a
sandwich, clothes and a smile. Not now, I don’t need this.A cheery young woman steps up to try and
intervene . To explain the homeless to me. Please, I say, you don’t really understand. She looks,like she’s
about to cry.

Next thing I know, her mother is yelling, How dare you, how dare you yell at my daughter! She’s been feeding the homeless for three years! Don’t
tell me we don’t understand it’s you who don’t understand.

About now, one, two, three police cars arrive,
police jumping out. Someone has called in about an altercation on the steps. They
try to sort things out. Finally realize that I’m the pastor. I tell them that Joe
and La Toya can stay, and thateveryone else must go. It’s then I see the
permanently banned Sergeant Keith on the steps, trying to be invisible. The
first angry man thinks he can outface the police. This is not a good idea. The
Midnight Run people are trying to somehow say that this was my fault. Because I don't understand these people. Or something like that.

Finally the police get it all sorted out. Peoplemoving on their way. A younggawker is standing in the middle watching all
this. The police tell him to move on. Hey, it's a public sidewalk ain't it? He
says. But he, too, moves on. And the Midnight Run van loads up and heads back to the burbs.

RL leads me back inside. My adrenalin is
pumping. I’m upset. How in the hell do I wind up on the street after midnight
fighting with homeless people?Seriously…..

I’m especially upset with the Midnight Run
people. They do good work. They bring food. A bit of comfort. They help make the
streets bearable which is both good and bad. At best, it can be an opportunity
for action and reflection. But there is also the possibility of self-satisfied
attitude that allows these conditions to exist in order to provide opportunities for people to do charity, good works and feel better about themselves. And
worse, the possible unspoken judgment about those of us in the city who actually
have to live with this not as an issue but as real people we have to deal with
every day. The attitude that they who parachute in once a week as angels of mercy
actually understand the situation better than we do. Liberals. Sigh. Liberals.

I hear laughter again. RL offers to go out
and check. He returns. It’s just the police, he says.