Saturday, June 30

What was that I was saying the other day? Something about not having anything to write about? Uh... yeah. You'd think I'd learn my lesson about posting stuff like that. But noooo! I had to go and open that can of worms. Didn't I?

First, thanks to all of you who not only read my whining but actually left me comments and suggestions. You gave me the warm fuzzies because frankly I figured ya'll probaby gave up on me and got tired of coming over here to see nothing new. You like me! You really like me!!

Anyway, as my life goes, whenever I lay things out on the line, like saying there was nothing worth writing about, all sorts of things just start gelling. Take yesterday for example. During my lunch break not one but two blog worthy stories came up during conversations with co-workers. I was really excited to come home, get the normal shit of the day done, and plunk myself down in front of the computer to write. Except life had other plans for me. So these two stories and using some of the suggestions from my adoring fans will have to wait for another day. Today I tell you about my Friday night adventure at home.

It started off as a typical Friday evening - leave work, drive home through the massive downpour that decided to come down right in the middle of rush hour causing traffic to back up for miles in both directions of the Interstate, pick up the kiddo, hang with him for awhile, then yak on the phone with my girl Stace. Sounds boring enough, eh? Well don't run off yet. This is where it gets good. Or bad. It all depends on how you look at it.

If I'm not roaming around the house doing laundry or cleaning up the kitchen I'm usually pacing between the garage and the living room when I'm talking on the phone. I hang outside smoking then retreat to the quiet of the living room for awhile so I don't have to listen to the teevee and play noises. Anyway, last night I was sitting on the sofa in the living room. It runs the length of the long wall and faces the wall of the front door entry with the actual front door to the left. As we're yakking about whatever something caught my eye - the trim around the front door. From my position on the sofa something looked amiss. Like the trim, or the door, was warped or something. And no I wasn't drunk. I was only on my first beer.

I stood up and walked to the door for closer inspection and as I approached I realized that the entire door frame where the chain lock is attached and draped over to the front door was pulled out from the wall. WTF? Completely off the wall. So far off the wall that the tiny little nails used to hold it up had about a quarter inch between the ends of them and the backside of the trim. At this point I interrupt whatever Stace is saying and tell her what I'm looking at. It completely baffled me because 1) my parents were just here for a week so there was always someone around the house during the entire day and night and if they'd had any mishaps with the front door they not only would have told me, but would have made sure it was fixed better than it'd been before they left to go back home, 2) we rarely ever use the front door since I park the car in the garage and we just come in through the laundry room, and 3) with a dog like my Jake, someone would have to really want in bad to go through the trouble of trying to get past him.

With no damage to the door, inside or out, and the door being double locked (deadbolt and all), and the chain still attached to both the trim and the door, it was baffling. Besides me, there are only three others who have a key to the house - my parents (previously exhonerated), my neighbor who was watching my kiddo all week before and after summer camp, and my ex (long story why, and not something I'll discuss here). So I asked WJ if they (him, the neighbor, the neighbor's kids, or any or all of the above) had tried to get into the house at all during the day while I was at work. Nope. Wasn't them. So that left only two other options. The ex, or someone who somehow got a key to my house or knows how to pick a lock AND relock the door when they're done.

At this point Stace suggests that I call the police. I debated on this one for two reasons. First, I hate calling the police because you always have to call the 911 number and then explain that's it's not "really" an emergency as emergencies are classified but that you really do need to talk to someone or you wouldn't have called them in the first place. I wish they had a non-emergency number for situations like this. And second, I'd already been home for like 2 hours when I'd discovered this and being that I was fine, WJ was fine, and nothing seemed to be missing from the house it seemed a little strange to get the police involved. Despite my reservations I called them. And you know what? They showed up maybe 5 minutes later. Impressive.

So now that this post has gotten way longer than I ever intended it to be, here's how the rest of it played out. The officer listened to my story, took pics, and said he was going to call my ex to see if he'd tried to get into the house for some reason. If he had, I was told I should explain the "rules" to him about entering the house univited, and if that didn't work, I should file a restraining order. Uh, yeah! If he says he didn't, it was suggested I have the locks changed and I would be assigned a case number as a victim of potential break-in.

Can you guess what happened? Here, let me give you a hint. Sometime between the two birthday parties we have to go to this weekend and all the usual laundry, house cleaning, etc. that is always on the schedule, I now have to either go to one of the big box home improvement stores to buy new locks and try to figure out how in the hell to install them, or I'll be calling a locksmith.

This really wasn't the sort of interesting blog worthy writing I was looking for, but hey. Whatever works, eh?

Thursday, June 28

I've read on several blogs in the past couple of weeks people posting about other bloggers who waste time blogging about how they have nothing to blog about. Let this serve as your warning.

IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ MY WHINING ABOUT HAVING NOTHING TO BLOG ABOUT...

STOP READING NOW!!!

Okay, for those (if any) that are still reading, pull up a seat and listen to me whine. I don't know why it's so hard some days to actually sit down and write something. It's been almost two weeks since I've said anything out here. Maybe it's because ever since I went back to work and spend virtually the entire day sitting in front of a computer I have absolutely no desire to come home and park my ass in front of another one? Or it could be that it's summer and there's so much more to do to keep the house and yards up so I'm spending more time outside instead of feeling my brain rotting staring at the monitor? And then there's been the yearly visitation from The Rents that's kept me doing other stuff and having to socialize, whether I wanted to or not. Whatever the case, they all add up to the same result. No blogging.

Yet, even if I had (or made) the time to blog these days, what in the hell would I say? I don't want to talk about my job because frankly, it'd be boring. I can't talk about certain issues I'm currently dealing with because it wouldn't be prudent. And since I live a pretty mundane existence of work, kid time, house shit, yard work, and whatever other crap comes my way that doesn't leave much to say.

So, maybe if I ask all of you to give me something to write about it will get the mojo moving in my brain again. Go ahead. Make a suggestion. Ask me a question. Anything will do. Just get me writing again, dammit. It's been too long.

Sunday, June 17

Here's some of my favorite quotes from the past week. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

"He's just a big, whiney bitch."Then they deserve one another.

"I have to poop!"From "things you don't want to hear when having sex".

"If we all waited until we weren't busy to chat with friends, we'd never have friends!!!"Possibly. Unless your friends are just as busy as you are.

"ABBA - not just a band"Seen on a local church reader board, and a favorite in honor of Neil.

"Don't let your past dictate who you are, but let it be a part of who you become."I'm working on it!

"No, I'm not in that room. My children needed something."In response to me pointing out why a supplier's invoice was blocked for payment after they called ME in a panic.

"I'll have a medium chocolate coffee with caramel on it."When what she really wanted was a grande mocha latte with caramel drizzle but decided to hold up the line of at least 12 people while the barista figured out what the hell she was ordering.

Saturday, June 9

I don't know much about politics. I don't talk politics. I don't read about politics. I don't watch political debates on teevee. Some would say I prefer to have my head in the sand, but, honestly, it just bores the crap out of me. Apparently only until I get recruited to campaign that is.

Somehow, despite my distaste for the bullshit of listening to people fluff their egos by embellishing their accomplishments, make false promises that they not only don't intend to keep but most likely couldn't keep even if they wanted, I found myself on a campaign team - read as a witch hunt clan - for one of the candidates running for our school board. The election having been postponed for two weeks after the school endured a flu epidemic and closed early for the Memorial Day weekend was finally held this past Thursday.

A little history about the past board: Can you say Old Boy's Club? The only thing they ever did was say "no" to any and every idea for change that was proposed. Topics that were supposed to be on monthly meeting agendas conveniently fell off the schedule. Questions that were asked were met with the standard "We'll look into that" and never followed up. When personal contact was attempted throughout the school year, parents were berated with such statements as "I'm a very busy man. I don't have time to sit in front of my email answering questions from everyone." WTH?

The board has six seats that serve out three year terms - two of which came open this year. There were four candidates running. Actually there were five up until the morning of the election, but one of the chickenshit candidates backed out at the last minute.

Let's meet the candidates:

Mr. P (incumbent) - Decorated military career. Academic career. No children at the school. Delusional thinking that there's nothing to worry about when enrollment drops over 25% in one year. Attempts to answer questions by repeating his ego fluff then wonders why the voters are staring at him like he's just spouted like Vesuvius.

Mr. L (our candidate) - Businessman with 14 years customer service management experience. One child in attendance, two more to be enrolled in the coming years. Well spoken. Forward thinking. Nailed each and every question with complete answers.

Mrs. S (our other candidate) - Single parent of one student. Previous high school teacher. Current state worker. Direct. Focused. Problem solver. Oh, and by the way... female.

Mr. B - Asshole extraordinaire! Husband to staff member. Grandfather to student involved in previous scandal. All questions are responded to with a joke, a story, or "Let me ask you a question". That is until he decides it's past his bedtime at 8pm and calls for the questioning to stop and the votes to be cast. Refuses to respond to any additional questions for the next half hour.

At 8:30pm the votes were cast, tallied (by yours truly, the principal, and two current board members) and the results are announced. Mrs. S and Mr. P win the election. Hmm! Maybe I should start referring to them as Mrs. Salt and Mr. Pepper? That pretty much describes their personalities - complete opposites.

It's complete bullshit that Mr. Pepper was reelected! How people can sit and watch the inactions of the current board and feel they've done a single thing to make the school better, then vote to have one of the main opposers to change reelected is beyond me? Now that's what I call having your head in the sand.

Mrs. Salt has a hard job awaiting her. Not only is she the only female, she's the first female in a decade and will be up against the OBC. The clan will be there to support her. Whether that'll be enough, only time will tell.

Mr. B can kiss my ass!

Poor Mr. L, who put an enormous amount of time and energy into his campaign. Well, there's always next year when another seat will be up.

Tuesday, June 5

Happiness is something I struggle with daily. Not that I'm an unhappy person most of the time, but there are days, or events, that get me down. Mostly it's frustration and the feeling of being out of control, not really depression, that cause me to either rant and rave uncontrollably, clam up entirely, or physically shut down.

I truly have a lot to happy about, and have constant reminders and reinforcement. Some things that make me happy are:

my son

music

friends

working

being able to pay the bills without worrying if I have enough money

knowing that I'm putting money back into my unemployment account should I need it in the future

my health, and the health of family and friends

beer

good food

my house

my computer

With all these happy things surrounding me you'd think I'd be bouncing off the walls with excitement. Notsomuch. Fortunately I've got friends - 3 out of 5 that agree - whatever makes me happy is good.