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Senior citizen and Ohio State President Gordon Gee, the bow tie king of the Midwest, owns and presumably operates his own Twitter account. After spending a minute skimming through his timeline, it reads exactly how I imagined it would — like a typical fun-loving grandfather, except with an important, publicly-scrutinized job. The kind of guy you’d sit around a game of bridge with, sipping on a nice glass of merlot and discussing his beloved Buckeyes or, and after his third glass of red, the latest batch of freshmen trim strolling around Columbus. He’s your typical old man.

But just like any old timer, Gee struggles with the nuances of social media. Actually, he’s probably in the top five percentile in his age group in this category, but suffice it to say, he’s still on the upward climb side of the overall social media-grasping curve, most notably in the “once you post it, it’s permanent” topic.

On Monday night at 11:45pm, which you’d think is way past his bedtime, President Gee tweeted the following:

The “Schott” is shorthand for the Jerome Schottenstein Center where OSU plays roundball. And as this Michigan-affiliated blogger points out — in a manner you’ll soon realize is ironically douchey — there was no OSU-Wisky basketball game on Monday night in the Schott. The game was Tuesday. The old man was a day short, thus caught in a harmless lie.

The only problem – THE GAME IS ON TUESDAY. Gee followed his douchey tweet up with an even douchier one…

What a douche this Goergs fella is. Once a grown man is old enough to have grandchildren running around, or hell, even way before then, you stow away the word “douche” when describing him unless they commit an act so overtly douchey that no other word will suffice. Leave that word for the kids, you goddamn douche.

Gee was simply trying to hype up his student body for the big game. He got his schedule mixed up and fired out a tweet, probably a few merlots deep, and it came back to nip him in the ass. But it was a minor infraction, and being the gentle, jovial geriatric that he his, he tried to spin it into a self-deprecating joke with his next tweet, or the “douchier” tweet, according to the bitter douche-blogger-Wolverine-fan:

What a guy this Gee character is. What a damn guy.

Lastly, I’m not totally convinced that Gee was lying, but instead in his declining, old man mind he was actually sitting in an empty basketball arena wondering where the hell everybody was.

Goergs wasn’t done douching up the place, though. He left us with one last, pointless defamatory remark:

There is lying among the Ohio State administrators? Wow, shocking. This wouldn’t be the first time (see Tressel, Jim & tattoos).

Dillon Cheverere (@RogerJDorn) is the Vice President of Media for Grandex, Inc. He's a native Texan with a full head of hair and knows his way around a nice box of red wine. Dorn graduated (BBA) with a GPA sitting in the meaty part of the bell curve, not lagging behind, but not trying to show off, either. Golf is his game now. He's long off the tee but can't putt for shit. Email: dillon@grandex.co

^Ah, very insightful Chili’s Guy. Oprah Is A Dyke is a full trinity. We include the heretofore unborn account, Oprah Is A Trikke as our “Holy Ghost” of sorts. On that note, I saw your dead mother the other day, talk about a HOLEY ghost! (Because of her sexual promiscuity she has developed rather distinct holes which have permeated death.)

Damn you are stupid, Dorn. Why is there an Active and a blackballed The_Chilis_Guy? Did you make the level-system to show people which one of these is the real one and which is fake? Who the fuck cares about Old Row. It’s a site of washed up fuck-faces. Like you. Kill yourself.

Gordon Gee is fucking awesome, for anyone that hasn’t heard of him before. Fraternity alum, highest-paid university president in the country, massive bowtie collection, spent $7.7M solely on throwing parties, and his wife smokes green on the reg. Much respect to the old man. He’s doing it right.

FratMuscle strikes me as the kind of guy whose idea of raging is shoving a broomstick up his asshole while blowing a dildo that’s suction cupped to the wall. Do me a favor, go outside and find a brick, then proceed to smash the teeth out of your mouth so I can gum fuck you. Bitch.