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Mr. Kotter: Well, Uncle Herbie was sort of a hippie. He decided to go hitchhiking across the country. But no one would ever pick him up, so he decided to walk! He walked across New York.. he walked across Pennsylvania.. halfway across Ohio..

Julie Kotter: Why only halfway?

Mr. Kotter: Well.. one day this van pulls up with these two guys. They throw him into the van, and they give Herbie the most savage beating I ever heard. They.. they go medieval on his ass, with a pair of pliers! And the whole time, they're singing that song by The Archies..

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