If this is your first visit, be sure to
check out the FAQ by clicking the
link above. You may have to register
before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages,
select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. Please note - if you do not see a place for User Name and Password plus a LogIn button in the green bar above, please update your browser software.

Vail

Bad MIL of course

My husband and I have been married almost a year, his Mother...the cunning witch that she is sent us both an email a few months after we got engaged wanting us to purchase a house with a granny flat or enough land where she could build a small house, apparently selling her house to help with us. YEAH RIGHT! Even per my husband she is a mooch and has lived off off people her whole life. I did not respond back to her assuming he would tell her no and he never did. He ignored it, I ignored it too until she told him she had found us the perfect house. Uhhh excuse me..you don't get to decide the house we purchase so I sent her an email explaining she was not going to live with us ever. She seemed to understand but whenever she comes over always makes mention we have 3 bedrooms and she could have one. Uhh NO!

Taking her to eat or cooking for her is a complete nightmare, she eats like 5 things, really. No dairy or sugar, beef, onion or garlic including seasoning, has to be all organic and non GMO, no corn and no eggs...well sometimes those things change at any time. She drives the servers insane when we do take her to eat asking a million questions such as "do you a gluten free menu?" we live in a small town that does not even know what gluten is let alone give a crap. I refuse to cook for her anymore and my husband is aware of this. I plan on sticking to that as well. I have no desire to try and figure out what she can eat this week as opposed to last week. She could not eat eggs a few months ago but we took her out for Thanksgiving, she got a salad that had eggs on it and somehow they disappeared, must have been an egg fairy. One of the times I attempted to make a nice family meal for her and even a nice dessert and went to much trouble, right down to getting rice flour and organic berries and making sure I knew what sweetner she could eat, she stated honey. So I made this nice berry organic, non GMO, gluten free sweetned with honey berry tart. She took one bite, asked me what it was sweetned with and when I said honey she spit it out. SERIOUSLY? We think all her food BS is simply for attention, even her Dr. whom I used to work for thinks as much. She has tried to play like she was on deaths door so many times it has gotten way old, apparently even before I came along. Cry me a river...

When my husband was 7 his Father passed away, now mind you his father had sense enough to divorce her and remarried, I assume her was much happier. After he died she joined a commune, my husband was 7. It was some religious commune, more like a cult if you ask me but his life was pretty much miserable. She even admitted to me she checked out as a Mother and was glad to have other women mother him. SERIOUSLY? so I have little respect for her anyway. I raised two kids alone and had to work, in the community she did not work, she apparently just worked on herself and played victim, another thing my husband says she has always done. Kinda makes ya wonder why he even bothers.

At our wedding, oh this gets good. My son was a groomsman and walked my maid of honor down the aisle, this was a small wedding so no one walked the moms..well except for her, she threw the whole things off confusing my son and making him walk her down the aisle to her seat. "Oh I am sorry, I did not know this was your wedding!" Anything for attention which my husband also states is her MO. Well that is fabulous! She walked around annoying everyone like she was something special or some sort of VIP and then had the gaul to complain about the food, there was nothing she could eat. "oh I am sorry, I did not know this was your wedding!"

Just a month ago she went on a cruise with my husbands ex wife..does anyone else find this disrespectful? She actually emailed me about it and wanted to make sure I was not mad. When I did not respond because I literally want zero contact with this woman ever she came by my work and brought it up in front of my co-workers and asked if i was upset. I said and I quote "I don't care if you go on a cruise with Satan or baby Jesus, have fun!" she obviously did not get the response she wanted and tucked her tail..AKA horns and left. From what my husband tells me his ex can't stand her so I assume when they spoke briefly one day and she mentioned her husband could not go on the cruise she invited herself and perhaps the ex is one of those people who can't say no. She even payed all the expences. She tends to invite herself often.

Recently her cat had to be put down, Boo Hoo and she wanted my husband to go with her. Mind you this cat was like 20, gross and she was tired of it but she needed moral support..whatever she wanted him to pay for it. I asked him not to as we have enough bills, more than her and her house if payed off. I knew that was the only reason she wanted him to go and it was, apparently she hinted around for him to pay for it but he did not. She is always talking about how much money she does not have but she manages to put in new windows and go out with GF and take trips that are not always payed for so BS.

When she comes over, she never knocks she just walks in like it is her house, my parents don't even do that. She gets her nose in our business and send us emails about marriage councling as we did did start after 5 months namely because he drinks to much and her. She is nosy and has told me to leave him when he drinks to much and when I told him and he asked her she denied it. Threw me under the bus so needless to say never again.

My husband refuses to go see her alone, thinks I need to go for his sanity, he admits he cant handle 15 min of it. But I am going to refuse to go and tell him to go alone. I can't stand her energy and end feeling like I need a good ole smudging after being around her.

Comments

I think that you really have no reason to see or talk to your MIL. If your DH can't stand to be around his mother for 15 minutes, why should you have to be around her at all? If I were you I believe I'd block her number from your phone and, a big one, lock your door so she can't walk in.

Your DH is using you as a meatshield for his mother. If he cannot stand to be around her, why should you be put into that position?

Start locking all your doors. Tell her she has to call at least a day in advance and ASK if it would be ok to visit. No telling you she is coming as she pulls into your driveway. Better yet, tell her she has to wait until invited. Then, when she tries to get into your house, tell her it is not a good time and since she didn't call to ask if it was ok to visit or wait for an invitation, she'll have to go home. then step away from the door.

It seems neither you nor DH have given MIL any consequences for her actions. Next time she does something like this, and you know there will be a next time, put her in a three month TO. Second offense and it has six months added on.

DISCLAIMER: All advice on this website is for informational and entertainment purposes only. All responses are from reader submissions unless specifically noted otherwise (such as Dr. Terri Apter advice page). We do not endorse any of the advice. We provide it to you as a service. We can neither guarantee the soundness of the advice, nor make any claims as to the outcome of following this advice. We provide it for your entertainment only. Should you choose to follow any of the advice, it is solely at your own risk. This is not intended to substitute for obtaining advice from appropriate sources and/or professional counseling. We recommend you consult an appropriate professional, counselor, and/or a trusted advisor before taking any action based on this advice. B A Squared, LLC and www.motherinlawstories.com make no representations or guarantees regarding any information dispensed on this site.