One of the toughest things that you can do is come out — that is, explain to everyone around you that you’re gay, and that’s what makes you happy. Of course, in the era of Ellen being open and most of Hollywood being pretty gay, some feel that coming out is “no big deal anymore”.

That couldn’t be far from the case. We bet that some of you reading this right here, right now have never come out at all. That’s not something that we want you to feel like should be there. We want you to feel comfortable enough to come out to all of your friends and family, but life is what it’s going to be. Just because your immediate family are supportive doesn’t mean all of your friends will be. For some strange reason, a lot of straight people suddenly think that their newly-out friends are going to be hitting on them. Just as straight people don’t automatically hit on every straight person that catches their eye; gay people have the same level of discretion.

The best thing that you can do is try to give yourself a little credit for actually coming out. It’s a hard decision, and it’s not one that’s always celebrated. The more that you can do with the people around you that matter, the more impact that you have on the world.

Some feel that coming out isn’t necessary because there’s nothing to prove. While we can see their perspective, we also think that if gay is going to be an identity, why would you want to hide in the dark? A lot of people don’t apologize for being the way they are — why should you apologize for being gay? It’s not something that you woke up and chose. Why would anyone wake up and choose to be part of a group that people actively hate and wish death upon? Most people would try to avoid that if they could but it is what it is. We personally feel that nobody should ever hide in the closet, so to speak, in fear of what others will think. We should be free to love our friends and families, go to work, and have real lives. That’s not gay rights — that’s human rights.

You can’t change the Chik Fil A debate, and you can’t convince Fred Phelps that there’s nothing wrong with gay people. You can, however, be the gay person that you can fall in love with, because loving yourself first is the only thing that matters.