Path 2

Path 2

The Five Worst Reasons For Leaving NYC

August 2, 2012

It seems like about half my friends have split town in the last decade or so, and I totally sort of understand, though I deeply resent the following excuses that I’ve heard from some of the defectors:

(5) I had to leave after 9-11.

Huh? Did you think that kind of thing was going to happen every day? And were you convinced that no bad thing would ever happen anywhere else? Besides, after 9-11, wasn’t that the time to love NYC more than ever, especially since the hometown response was warming, lifting, and generally incomparable? What a wuss. You’re right–you don’t belong here.

(4) It’s just gotten too gentrified. The edge is gone.

Oh, really? So you decided to move to Springfield, Missouri? How’s the edge doing over there? Enjoying the bohemian life much?

(3) I now have a terrace and a garden. It’s so nice! I always wanted a terrace and a garden.

But it’s in Idaho, you dumb so-and-so!

(2) My life was going nowhere. I was completely unhappy. Nothing was working out. And I wanted to be far away from my exes.

But no matter where you go, you’re going to run into yourself, huns. Might as well have stayed here, Miss Golightly.

(1) I just couldn’t afford NYC anymore. I was dying to stay, but it’s now out of my price range.

And the reason I hate that reason most of all is because it rings so true! It’s an honest excuse! And it’s what the people saying the other four things really mean!

But they still should have stayed and tried to make do. There’s no excuse not to.