Who Are YOU?
Thursday February 18, 2016

Without thinking about it, point to yourself. You probably didn't point to your head. Rather, you pointed to the centre of your chest, the area around the heart.

And the reason most of us do is evident in the way the word heart is used in just about every culture and language around the world: Follow your heart; speak from your heart; in your heart you know. All metaphors for the authentic you!

Being true to your heart is the formula for living the life you want. When there is an alignment between what's in your heart and the actions you carry out, the better life seems to work. You're fulfilled, content and at peace. You feel care, appreciation, love, joy, compassion, kindness—heart-felt emotions that not only feel good, but are good for you, too. Is it any wonder we all live for the moments our hearts come alive?

If you want to manifest more of who you truly are, start by considering what you value most. Is that something you can put a monetary value on?

What you value is at the core of who you are. Core values are the embodiment of intelligent operating principles that give meaning to life, rejuvenate spirit and create a sense of well-being.

Still not sure what's at your core? Here are some questions to help you sort through all the should's, could's, and would's that can get in the way of hearing what your heart wants you to know:

• What matters most to you?
• What's important to you professionally? Personally? (The greater the differential = the greater the stress)
• What values do the people you admire exemplify? (Do you mix with people whose values you don't admire? If so why? And if so – what are your real values?)
• What motivates you to put in more effort at work?
• What would you do Saturday morning if time, distance and money weren't an issue?
• What values do you want your children to grow up with? Remember they only learn from actions and not words!)
• Who can you openly discuss your values with and feel at ease? Probably the 'richest' conversation you can have...as its your heart speaking.

Now, ask yourself:

• Do you follow your heart as consistently as you would like?
• If not, what do you want to do about it?

Comments

Alex Thu, Feb 18th 2016 @ 5:40am

Firstly, thanks for making me smile(it's been a crappy couple of weeks)....first thing I did was have Roger Daltry singing, "Ah, who the f*ck are you?" To me, in my head. That made me smile. And actually, I pointed to the top of my head, as I have my specs off, peering at the ipad, wireless headphones with Leonard Cohen on.

A couple of random thoughts on a very interesting question: one struck me in particular.....what would I do on Saturday morning? Go to a Shabbat morning service(that's something on my 'some day....' List. Not possible right now, for several reasons, but maybe some day.....)

Actually, that's the main one. My heads too full of crap ....after making the effort to walk to the chemist to collect a prescription, and being kept outside for fifteen minutes because the pharmacist was late (according to Bossy Boots the woman who was there - and I should add that she is the only one there who is unpleasant : the rest are lovely, kind, helpful, know me well - they aren't allowed to let anyone in unless the pharmacist is there. Not even to sit, out of the cold and rain. By the time they let me in .i was in full blown 'scrape me off the ceiling' panic mode. Trying to help myself and having the reverse effect.

Now, it might not seem much, but for an agoraphobic it is a big, big deal, just to go there. And that's twice in a row it's happened. I have a doctor appointment tomorrow, so will have a blether with him.

So, who the f*ck am I....kinda sorts varies by the moment, for now....but thanks for asking, sync thanks for the smile.

Live long and prosper, Moodscopers.
Q'Plah!
Alex

Les Thu, Feb 18th 2016 @ 2:48pm

Hi Alex - I can 'feel' that wait......authentic words......aye - who are we indeed - I hope you can settle on that 'some day' soon. Good luck tomorrow.

Debs Thu, Feb 18th 2016 @ 7:12am

Lovely blog Les!! Just lovely!! I was so struck by how when you said point to yourself I really did go straight to my heart!

Buddhists have a term for the mind called 'Citta' which instead of meaning mind actually means 'heart-mind'. When we are stuck in our heads (which I know I am a lot!) who are we? Nothing but thoughts. But when we live from our heart, our true essence, we can live a much freer life. I've recently started taking my meditation practice seriously and am practicing daily. Wow, what a difference it's making. I can feel I am starting to become the observer of my thoughts so much more... and my heart is saying thank you.

A couple of days ago I created a 'plan for the future' with all the things I want to do with the 'second half' of my life. It came straight from my heart and it feels just right. My head is fighting it but I'm learning to let go. While I was in the midst of deep depression I never thought this would be possible so I'm eternally grateful to my heart for sticking with me and not giving up ;-)) Thanks Les, I'm always so inspired by your blogs, they make my heart sing ;-) xxxx

Sally Thu, Feb 18th 2016 @ 8:53am

I like the idea of your heart saying thank you. :-)

Les Thu, Feb 18th 2016 @ 2:53pm

Hi Debs - yes there are a few Eastern words I believe that mean both heart & mind.....spooky! One of the things I learned, is that research shows that there are more messages go from the heart to the head - than the head to the heart. 'First the feeling - then the thought'? .....Good luck on that 'plan'.... That thoughts and body thing.....we all too often get 'lost in thought'......

Les Thu, Feb 18th 2016 @ 7:07pm

And Debs - I forgot to say....thanks for your last line.....appreciated.

Leah Thu, Feb 18th 2016 @ 7:23am

Les,
An interesting post. Maybe I am strange but going with my heart and not my head, meant an unsuccessful marriage and a chaotic relationship and staying in both way too long because of my heart.
Maybe a heart/head combo is the best option.
Maybe you mean something different than I do by following one's heart.
Also if you don't follow the heart is the other choice the head?
Thanks for making me think and reflect.

Les Thu, Feb 18th 2016 @ 3:00pm

Hi Leah - aye its always 'both and' and not 'either or'. Both heart and head - its the ability to balance both in sensing what you want in life - I believe from your heart. You're spot on with that combo. /////I wonder what it was about the marriage that went wrong? /////I know I thought I fell in love (heart) but for me it was something deeper that got me over that line - someone's mother that reminded me of mine who died when I was 15? - a family situation that I'd never had as an only child? - did she look like my mother is body or soul? - did she make me feel safe or not alone? I LOVE this quote that says SO much in a few words....." A wise man does not use knowledge (head) to select his direction, but will on occasions use it to guide him on that path (heart)."

s Thu, Feb 18th 2016 @ 8:12am

Another great blog Les, thank you.

I pointed straight at my head! Even more so my mouth. My heart definitely isn't satisfied, realistically achieving what the heart wants I do not think is practical (my professional drive is somewhat limited) which is where the head kicks in. Well, completely takes over really (I am reasonably good at a job which I have no love for at all). The mouth, well, this is the bit where you try not to let on to those paying you your heart is not in it.

A change of heart as you say is definitely what is needed. A change of head too. And most difficult of all an awful lot of courage.

Les Thu, Feb 18th 2016 @ 3:08pm

Hi S - Spot on - I say - sitting up straight to salute you. The courage of our convictions comes from the heart and from age 5 we are kinda told that we are only 'good' if we are good at IQ and thus most fall straight into titles and material things and yet rarely feel OK to be who they really are. We are only ever good at what we enjoy doing - and only great at what we love doing...! I wonder how many are in roles that they simply do for money and what does that teach their children? When the Greeks split the spirit from the head and IQ became 'God'.....we are now reaping the results of that long road to 'Schooling and not Education'.///// "You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage -- pleasantly, smilingly, non-apologetically -- to say "no" to other things. And the way you do that is by having a bigger "yes" burning inside. The enemy of the "best" is often the "good." Stephen Covey

Lex Thu, Feb 18th 2016 @ 8:25am

Very helpful and inspirational, Les. Thank you.

Les Thu, Feb 18th 2016 @ 3:09pm

Hi Lex - Cheers bud....K was fab.

the room above the garage Thu, Feb 18th 2016 @ 8:42am

I had a very similar conversation with my kids this morning. How following happiness (career-wise) will only lead to happiness regardless of time spent or money earned. It's something that was not taught to me and has reverberated through decades. Like Debs...I have future plans. Thank you Les, I'm go got let this one hover in me today and see where it takes me... I love the Saturday morning question. Mine are definitely not free but I like the exercise of imagining very much! Thank you Les, love ratg X.

danielle Thu, Feb 18th 2016 @ 9:02am

RATG you are right - happiness in your career is important. I learned that it isnt always as simple as doing a job you love though - sometimes you have to think laterally. I grew up determined to work with horses and ride full time. My father hated this and encouraged me to pursue another path (he is very money and business driven). I went to agricultural university to study equine sports science, and worked for a professional all the holidays. After two years I learned (from working with the pro) that it was stupidly tough and v little time/money. \I changed path (much to fathers delight) to study international business - I decided if i had a 'normal' job i would get better salary (which meant i could afford my own horse still) holidays, pension, sick leave etc. The point I am making is that sometimes your immediate thought of what will make you happy is not always the correct one. I enjoy my job now, dont get me wrong I would much prefer to play with horses all day - but overall I know I am happier as i dont worry about paying the bills, I can afford to take a holiday once a year both in money and time, I can take a days holiday if i want to go to a competition mid week with my horse, If i feel unwell i call in sick. The overall happiness is greater. I also get flexi time allowing me to leave early in darker months to ride - if i worked with horses my life would be taken over with very little time/money for my own horse. I guess this wont be the same for everyone but its not always straightforward! xxx

Les Thu, Feb 18th 2016 @ 3:14pm

Hi RATG & Danielle - Yup! Firstly if you come home each night and say unhappy you are at work and yet you have to do it to keep the house / car / lifestyle / et al....I believe you are teaching your children that work is bad and hard and unhappy.......no matter how you might 'dress' it. So that's a GREAT discussion to have RATG.....FAB. ///// Danielle you learned some great lessons which you can pass on with deep wisdom - you couldn't educate others / children in the way you can now from your heart, if you didn't have that personal experience. You can now - truly - speak from your heart and hopefully let them decide, regardless of what you say. There's that quote again.................." A wise man does not use knowledge (head) to select his direction, but will on occasions use it to guide him on that path (heart)."

Rebecca Thu, Feb 18th 2016 @ 9:59pm

Great blog Les.x Danielle I still feel I would love to ride for a living but couldn't afford to do that now I have two horses. My parents have always worried about the possibility of getting injured riding and worry about loss of earnings due to this. At the moment I get sick pay if have an injury. I do a lot of riding of my horses and other peoples on my days off. Just can't help feeling envious of people who compete for a living. Feel I would love that but with my low self esteem I imagine I would struggle. Find it hard sometimes competing my own but imagine the pressure of competing someone elses and the expectations of the owners.x

Rupert Thu, Feb 18th 2016 @ 9:00am

Les I thought your blog was very apt. I sit in an office of lawyers and can safely say that not one of them is following their heart! Every single person is doing it on sufferance and is desperate to do or be somewhere else. It makes it tricky in a way to guide your children in these situations as you only want the best for them and to me that means that they are happy even though a lot of parents attitude seems to be for the children to get the "best" job at all costs! Rupert

Les Thu, Feb 18th 2016 @ 3:20pm

Hi Rupert - Totally agree.....happiness is far more important than things or money - the West kinda lost its way as we know - 13 suicides / day in the UK - and the key factor of success for our nation.....yes you guessed it.....the economic growth indices!!! If we mapped it with 'illness' since stress we are informed causes about 90% of all illnesses there would be a direct correlation. The National Sickness Service cannot, as we know, cope. The 'cost' of those best jobs is mostly their health and happiness.....the main thing we cannot buy! Weird huh....?

Norman Thu, Feb 18th 2016 @ 9:02am

Les, My finger pointed to somewhere between what could be the heart and throat chakras. I liked the question about what is important to me personally. The difference is massive, hence the stress I suppose.

Les Thu, Feb 18th 2016 @ 3:21pm

Hi Norman - Yup

Lou Thu, Feb 18th 2016 @ 9:04am

Les - thank you for a truly wonderful blog. It has really made me think and I shall continue to ponder it for some time, I think.
Oddly, I am finding "What would you do Saturday morning if time, distance and money weren't an issue?" really tough to answer!
Thanks!

Les Thu, Feb 18th 2016 @ 3:21pm

Hi Lou - Good luck in your pondering quest.

Lou Fri, Feb 19th 2016 @ 7:55am

Thank you :)

danielle Thu, Feb 18th 2016 @ 9:05am

Excellent blog Les, some good questions to be asking ourselves. Oddly when I thought about what I would like to do on saturday mornings I came up with an answer - mostly things I already enjoy doing! relaxing in bed reading, followed by lovely breakfast with OH and riding the horse. Maybe I would have a second horse so OH didnt have to walk an could keep up :) xxx

Les Thu, Feb 18th 2016 @ 3:23pm

The Gardener Thu, Feb 18th 2016 @ 11:53am

Dear Les - either you produce a conundrum or a blog which would take a book to answer. Doing huge number of positive things - going to do ironing (which I hate) which provokes thought. In another life, when I wrote a lot- it was lawn mowing which sorted all the random thoughts into a cohesive whole (must have been, wrote and had published hundreds of articles). Instant thought - Saturday - lie-in, breakfast on my terrace, long walk, lunch looking at sea - oh, what an impossible dream - but I can see it.

Les Thu, Feb 18th 2016 @ 3:28pm

Hi TG - Hmmmmmm............so - is it 'I'll believe it when I see it'..........or 'I'll see it when I believe it'? Which one gets you your Saturday extravaganza? Good luck with future conundrums or blog 'books'. Thanks for your succinct answer today and I hope the ironing is done!

The Gardener Thu, Feb 18th 2016 @ 4:08pm

The ironing did not do the trick - because it set me to working out things which were puzzling me on the moving front. BUT.Your question 'what matters most to you', and that tied up with all the thinking - of a life when I am not saying to Mr TG 'for God's sake give me a bit of peace to finish this job'. There's no way I can stop him asking me every five minutes where the loo is, where is his bedroom, did I have a good morning etc. So, I have to use my noddle so life is more efficient - to have 'quality' time, if you like, to sit in comfort with music, talking books, my knitting - get a wheelchair and go for walks - so, at a stretch head and heart were talking - using head to have a calmer life.

readerwriter Thu, Feb 18th 2016 @ 7:22pm

Lets not forget our guts. Gut instinct - very powerful, easy to ignore. Hearts as Leah said can lead us astray. Mrs G is one gutsy lady. As (one of) the Good Books says "bowels of compassion". Anyone with IBS will understand how our guts talk to us.....

Les Thu, Feb 18th 2016 @ 9:34pm

Hi rw - as always never one thing.....and what our heart 'tells' us will often result with a 'gut instinct'.....then maybe the head to offer that politically correct 'rational thought'....for me....let's start with our heart and gut to select a path and then IQ to help guide?

Chris Thu, Feb 18th 2016 @ 8:38pm

Hi Les I have read many of your blogs over the last couple of years, with interest and appreciation. This one really resonates with me, so I think it is a particularly good one! I am lucky enough to think that my heart, head and current work are successfully aligned - I do a lot of mental health awareness and suicide prevention work - MHFA (Mental Health First Aid), ASIST (Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training), local work with West Kent Mind, and enjoyable additions, like bridge teaching. Nearly 15 years ago I had a suicidal crisis and then a major change of heart! Followed by a major change of work focus. More power to your elbow!

Les Thu, Feb 18th 2016 @ 9:38pm

Hi Chris - WOW....aligned indeed! More power to your heart & elbow :-) Even with the organs of our body - 'To go fast go alone - to go far, go together'....for me, more important inside than outside our bodies! May that aligned and heartfull spirit arrive with you in any meeting - as people WILL feel it and listen far more as their heart opens to your true intent.

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