6 More Days

September 10, 2011

Yes... I'm still here and I'm still pregnant. I was told to keep doing what I'm doing because obviously it is working. No signs of swelling or high blood pressure, and all biophysical profiles have been 100%! Now I just pray that the amnio comes back positive on Thursday for lung development, so this little girl can be born on Friday.

As I sit here this afternoon, I ponder, what should I be doing with my last week of pregnancy? Well... this morning it was pushing a much too heavy cart of groceries around SuperTarget, and then getting a pedicure. Gotta have cute feet if nothing else on me is cute, right? My husband thinks its a waste, I consider it a small investment in my mental health.

Then there is the pantry cupboard to organize of course... I mean, who in their right mind goes into their last few days of pregnancy without organizing their pantry cupboard, right?

Of course there's laundry, and suddenly I find myself freaking out that if I do laundry today and not again this week that my 4 year old will run out of underwear at the very moment of my C-section, causing him to have to "go commando" until I am released from the hospital. Ah... it almost brings a smile to my face to worry about something so mundane.

Oh yeah, and why wouldn't I take on a couple of really small projects at work this past week... I mean, most people that are mere days away from having a baby do that, right?

Of course I realize that I am definitely trying to keep my mind... if not my body, busy. As busy as possible. So I don't have to think for one minute about what is about to happen... I don't have to think about the IV and the spinal, the fact that another human being (be as great as she is) is mere days away from cutting me open, taking out the human life I've been growing since January, and sewing me back up!

As I read the other day "I am fearful, but I long to be fearless." source
I hope this week I can get myself a little closer to some peace in spite of the fear.

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9
comments

Wishing you all the best Sarah. You've stated before that your body has failed you during this pregnancy ... but it really hasn't! Look what you've accomplished! You have nurtured this precious baby longer than anyone predicted. A child who truly needed to be held safe within you for as long as possible ... and you DID it!! Continuing prayers for you and your family.

praying for you! You've been through an amazing journey these past 9 months, and you should be proud of how well you are handling things and allowing the situation to grow and stretch you rather than break you. Can't wait to hear of the new birth and for you to finally have some questions answered so that you know what exactly you're dealing with.

Crazy - sounds like what I've been doing lately. Laundry twice/week instead of once, "just in case." Organizing the kitchen, and then doing it again. Getting a pedicure, because who knows when that'll happen again!

Hang in there. Do what you need to in order to feel somewhat prepared, though you can never be prepared. Know that you are loved and lots of people are praying for you. Fingers crossed for Thursday's amnio!

Sarah,There are times in my life when I truly speak before I think. Its a human failing of mine. An unfortunate one. I hadn't been here to read about what you are going through for several months (since July, I think). Oh, honey. I don't know you at all, other than through your comments to me, but my heart literally hurts for the pain and fear you have been facing (admirably may i add) over the last few months. Please know that I am praying for you and that beautiful unborn baby girl. With everything in me. May she show every single person who hears her story the amazing grace that God has given us. May you have peace, and the opportunity to watch your precious girl grow and thrive. My love to you. And know that many, many prayers are being lifted to Heaven in your name now and will continue to be throughout the coming days, weeks and months.

Thank you everyone... thank you Heidi for your kind kind words, and thank you everyone for praying and for passing on our story so that others may pray. I pray that the world may witness a miracle on Friday.

About Me

7 years ago I followed Weight Watchers and lost 116 lbs! Shortly after reaching my lifetime goal I got pregnant with my redemption baby. Turns out, there were other plans. That beautiful redemption baby was missing a chromosome - Turner Syndrome. 5 years and 7 surgeries later for her, I've gained over 100 lbs back, and lost myself. Now is the time to take care of me! Self care is the new healthcare! This is my story.