>>701403374I went to my ex Gf funeral about a week ago, She mentioned me in her suicide letter. and said i was one of the reason she kiled herselfI cant live knowing i could save her by just comforting her..

>>701403895I still think of her every moment since her death,The reason i broke up with her is because she was depressedMy selfish ass didnt wanna deal with it.So i just left her in her worst time of life,I cant live knowing i could save her anon.I have been drunk for 5 days straight when it sunk in.That i killed the only person who ever cared about me

It was alright, been in bed most of the day. This is due to me and a couple of mates had a party last night at one of my mate's house's and I didn't get sleep or come back to mine until 9 am. At first I didn't really want to go but I thought that it would do me good to try and enjoy myself. Mainly because I can't stop thinking about this one girl who I was with for 9 months. It still hurts, I miss her a lot.

>>701404548She looked like something out of a book, i meet her in may 2007 at a college party, i fell in love with her then and there, she was the best girl i have ever talked to. we couldent keep our hands of eachother, i even went to some of her classes when i had nothing to do. we used to laugh at the old memories together Now i cry at them for the most part :|

>>701405461i remeber when we would watch movies or go the the cinema, she always had smarties, dry cookie crips and a coke, it was our running joke,she told me on our 4-5 date that she had the same type of snacks at the movies or when she watched movies as a childim gonna get her snack pack as we called it and eat it for the last time untill i join her

I met her about a year ago. I was in another relationship at the time, but my feelings for that girl faded and we broke up.>Socialist>Identity politicsBut Erika was there and we got pretty close. We cuddle 'n shit, kiss a little on some drunken nights.One night we talk and she says that she COULD sleep with me on the right night>OhFuckingBoy.mp3>I fall for her>She goes to france for a week>We dont talk cause she dont got wifiwhen she comes home she doenst reply to my snapchats as she would earlier>TonightShe texts me saying shes outthen she sends a picture of her kissing another guyi ask if she has been drinking, she hasnt>my mind does a plottwist>so numb.webm>MfwShe now says she only wants to be friends. and that she wont see me anymore cause she'll be "busy"

>Not sad atm just fucking emptyShes not a 'slut', so i really got fkn bamboozled

>>701404283I'm on the opposite side of this, depressed slight drinking problem, meet girl, fall in love depression is the best it had been in years, work on stopping drinking, she starts distancing from me, try to fix it, she leaves me, depression is back and worse than ever, now I sit at home every night with a bottle of whiskey and my handgun debating on whether to end it

i lost my dick in a motorcycle accident, surgeons had to remove it, all there is left is a sack and a hole i have to keep clean, pissing is messy, i have to sit down when i pee. can't jack off anymore, i've had more wet dreams now because the balls fill up and need to be released, it's half an orgasm because i'll wake up during it usually, and my prostate atleast feels pleasant.

>>701405873 We broke up because I really can't handle long distance stuff. I have had a couple of girls since her, but I always find myself sitting thinking about her and how it never will happen and how it could have been so perfect. My current girlfriend is being a bitch and I only have her because I'm so scared of being alone.

>>701406005We used to watch whatever old classics,And modern movie as well,she loved to go fishing, swining ,reading and we always for halloween used to dress up as clint eastwood. that was one of our inside jokes aswell i guess>her favorit movies was clint eastwood movies

>>701405878>I remember i was like you >my girlfriend of 2 years died about 2 1/2 years ago>it was due to a cyst in her head>she had secluded a surgery and everything>but wrote a lengthy paper in case anything would ever happen>unfourtinately something did happen>she mentioned me alot in said letter, ill type you the bit that always stuck to me"I know this is hard for most people that know me: my mother, father, brothers, and friends. But this is the hardest for you, know that in life there are unexpected moments in time where feeling this way is like something out of a movie. You made me the happiest person, you understood where no one else would care. I ask of you to continue living. remember me, but dont let my memory stop you annon. because you are the only person that deserves the world.">I almost killed myself that week. so now I honor her memory, ill never forget her

>>701406095I can't approach people properly and talk with them cuz im not updated "trends" which is too normie shit and im not interested. Also i can't keep up a conversation. They only approach me when there is school matters.

Because of not having friends & not having to trust someone with. i got alone and lonely af so i decided to quit school and lock down myself since there's no point of continuing school when you dont have someone to go with. I do have Real friends but we got separated cuz of school and we rarely communicate.

And even i try to go out i lose interestimmediately and go back to internet

>>701407297i'm still waiting, for my chance,it's been a very long time,been sitting in a very long line,people all around me staring at me with their mind,crime happening,the police don't even really try,why would i even bother crying,cryings for the miserable, people,with no vision or no sight,seen me in a vision then your mine,i'm literally fine,find and you shall seek well,the sequel,the sequel is pre will,don't get it twisted,from that far, we came this close,we clearly missed it,we nearly hit it,the fairy tale, is very stale,hail mary frigid,don't matter if you get burried with it,or if you eat berries with it,it's all a scam to begin with,you dip shits livin in wonderland,understand this and you just might understand,but it's too bad, it's too late,and it's over man..

>Depressed as fuck>Always been able to deal with it but sometimes it comes back harder than before>Last month it came back and hit me like a truck>Drunk for two weeks straight>Decide to kill myself that weekend>Before that, I'll tell my bestfriend/crush about what's going on with me in hopes that it'll get better>She says she'll always be there for me, but that's all she said, no other emotional support>Haven't heard from her since that day>I've never felt this isolated before>I feel nothing now.

I guess that's better than the constant pain I was in. I'll still probably an hero though, so w/e. Guess people were right about not showing your power level to people you care about.

Working all day today. Not off until 9. Currently taking a shit and browsing /b/ on data. I almost break down when I see couples in here. It's like they're fucking taunting me. I work a lot and never have someone to come home to or be with. I'm living alone and see no reason to continue living.

>>701409762Are you me?All coworkers are in a relationship, if not they have plans with other people. "Anon, why do you say you don't like going home?">Because I come home to nothing>Because I come home to drink and cry>Because when I open the door, there will be no one waiting for me>Because it's there where I might kill myself.

i've stopped taking meds awhile ago and i've noticed myself become gradually more erratic and unhinged, like easily spiraling into anger that goes well beyond what's appropriate. i repress a lot of shit, and people know it. they can pick up on the fact i'm quiet and docile until i explode into a fit of blind rage. most probably think i'm the type genuinely go postal. i'm not. there's more important shit i have to do in life than kill a mass of people i don't know. still, i like the fact people do think that about me. it filters out the people who are genuine enough to get to know me and understand that i can take a joke.

>>701413147Apart from the one genuine seeming suicide and the motorcycle dick thing its just people stewing over asinine shit mate. The whole blaming yourself for someones suicide when almost all suicide stems from mental illness is in itself ridiculous. These threads just breed self pity and push you further down the depression hole.

Well. I joined the military about 5 years ago. I joined to be an infantryman with the plan of becoming a reconnaissance-man. Well my recruiter pulled some shady shit in order to look good on him so I didn't get the contract that I signed for and instead got an airwing job. That's not too bad but it fucked up what I wanted to do with my life pretty bad. While I was inCalifornia I stopped talking to my best friend for quite some time because I was dealing with training, getting new experiences away from home, and side jobs I did. Well one day I got the news that he killed himself. This absolutely destroyed me but I tried to lighten the load on myself with some rather dark humor. Most people hated it but one girl, we will call her Haylee, was coping the same way. I traveled back home for the funeral andmet her there again. She was so beautiful, wearing a nice green dress that really brought out her hazel eyes. She walked up to me and was awkward as fuck (actually kinda just slapped me in the face with a piece of ham) and we started talking. We really clicked and I started talking to her every single day. I began to learn about her self harm and began to help her through her problems, making her life better from afar. We talked for about a year and a half and then I went home on leave for a month. She surprised me with a mix tape the second day home and a kiss on the cheek. I began taking her on dates and we decided to get into a relationship but it caused a lot of strain on my cousin who tried to date her but she rejected him. He eventually tried to kill himself by ingested a metric fuckton of pills while we were driving to my place, started seizing so we pulled over and my brother and I tried to get him to puke but couldn't so we punched him in the gut until he did. Long story short it was a happy relationship with her but I got orders overseas and the strain of a long distance relationship was too much for us and we cut it off after about a year.

>>701412697She was depressed since something happend to her family, and i wanted to break up with her for some while, not really knowing why tho.But one day after she came home from work i had already packed my shit and moved in with a friend. and told her i cant live with someone who is trying to pull me down with her in her deep depression, i just got back from a long cry anon, sry for the afkit just hurst talking about someone who would die for you and you just shit on them and thire feelings, i hope to join her and tell her im sorry for what i've done,I hate myself, gonna drink my self to sleep

>>701412697i wont be mad if you call me a monster or a faggot for leaving someone while they were at a weak point in theire life,I could've saved her anon, i know i could, just by the letter alone i know she just wanted someone to talk to, cant still understad how it would feel after someone you've been with for almost 10 years not even willing to care or listen to somones problems,we could be together right now and live out our days anon,i fucking hate myself im a monster

My ex fiance posted a post on fb that says.... My ex lives on PSYCHO path.... More like socio path.... But inbreds and technicalities are like an aziotrope, but the opposite... All you can do is seperate them.... Hahahaha

>>701416503We still talked every day and while she found a new man they had their problems, and came to me for help. I tried to keep my distance from that relationship as long as possible but she began getting extremely depressed and harming herself again and all her new guy would do about it is yell at her constantly, about every single thing she did, so I tried talking her through her problems again and of course she would give me the I love you's and I wish you were here instead of so and so. shit like that. I don't think she knew what that did to me but it really brought those feelings back that I had. Hell for a long time we actually talked exactly how we had when we were still in a relationship and it was...disorienting. She has said numerous times that when I come back home for good in a few months she wants to leave him for good but she also continuously says she doesn't think she ever could...just that she wants to. She tells me that she wants to go out on dates with me. She wants to travel with me. She wants to go to social events and parties with me. Hell, that she wants to live with me and has even discussed marriage...Now, there is a lot more to it then all of this, a lot of personal stuff that her and I have both gone through but it almost always comes back to just that...her and me. I have 3 months left overseas and in the military in general so we will see what happens, but right now it's up in the fucking air.

My favorite thing to do is take a crap. I've been feeling down alot lately and every time I stop and think what I really want to do in life career? Family? Suicide? only one thing comes to mind: go and empty my bowels.

I lived alone with my mother, then she died of cancer after a year of medical treatments

I completely had to rearrange my life at 19, suddenly ton of papers and of new stuff to care about, it was completely overwhelming

I Left my long term gf because of pressure of those months I can hardly recall, it's like it wasnt even meI still feel bad about it

Now I'm 21 I've moved back into my old house, filled with memories and problemsLuckily enough I have a shitty job to give me enough money to eat and live decently, but it's a dead end job, one who kills hope, and it takes up most of my time so I cant actually study for university [eurofag here]

I truly feel like I have no good times ahead of meI was left with tons of debts and with little guidance

I met a girl through Skype friends.>Cute>Edgy emo made up gender>Fall in love Promised myself I would never date.>start datingAfter a few months, my personality has changed. I went from edgy emo weaboo to cynical film critic who hates everyone.She brings I used to be more cheerful.She's disgusted with the fact that I like loli.>argue everyday>I suggest we just take a break from each other.>She suggests two weeks. >drowningyoursadnesoutwithCSGO.aviI think she resents me now. I don't think she loves me anymore. >I miss you>don't I don't want her to leave me but I know she will.Fuck.

>>701417866>>701417857I'm twenty, been disabled since birth. You can't tell much if you just look at me, you would see that i'm limp but that about it. Not even my best friends know however, that i have to wear diapers and my dick is underdeveloped, it's like a little baby's. What's the worst is that i still get boners and even fell in love once, and i'm not ugly or deformed, but how could i ever approach a girl? Even if i managed to start a relationship, it would eventually lead nowhere, as we all know that a good fuck is the basis of a good marriage. I know that it could've been worse, i mean, there are people who need wheelchairs to move around, or those completely paralized from their necks down, but damn. It feels like it's another kind of cruel, being so close to a normal human being, and yet so far...

>>701419494Unfortunately it will be something you need to disclose relatively early on in the dating process or you will just be piling on negative connotations with your problem. Every rejection would chip away at your ability to connect.

That truly sucks, I'm sorry about your conditionNonetheless >>701419494 is rightmaybe you wont be able to experience everything about love, but, lets be hones, who is?I think that something like that doesnt really matter, unless in those situations that really doesnt matter

My anxiety about throwing up is killing me. I want the pain to stop so fucking bad. It makes me puke and shit it's beyond bearable at this point. Everywhere I go I think about things that make me throw up and it just sucks. Can't go a day without thinking of it.

>>701419494it's one thing if your dick is just small. It's completely different if can't even deflower her or make her pregnant. There's a song in russia, it's supposed to be a joke but for me it's just the truth. "Why would i need a guy without a dick if there's plenty of guys with one"

Met a girl this summer, we hit it off, kissed on the first night and i we slept toghter but didnt have a condom so she just sucked my dick and i licked her. Good times. The "summer flirt" went on for 7 days before i went home.

A week passed and i decided to write to her again along the lines of " I miss you, how are you ?" she answered and we made a date, she came to my place, we had fun, walked around, watched a movie and had sex. She left the next morning and we texted a bit, 3 days later i asked her when we should do something again, she doesnt answer for a day or so and then comes with this long ass text about how she isnt ready for a relationship, and i wasnt even looking for one, but instead i beta out and just write "Alright" and we havent spoken since. But tbh she was just not really that into me i think, but it was wierd man,

someone, PLEASE post the following webmthere was a dude smoking, and someone asked him when did he start smoking. he said 2 years ago, when his girlfriend broke up with him. PLEASE, post the webm. i will forever be in your debt

>>701403374you are making me miserable. How about that? What are you gonna do now? Check mate bruh ... check MATE!

ALso.... It's too late 4 me. I'm in the deep. Only falout of the world can save me. This what you wanna hear? Wanna feed off of people's missery? You some kind of vampire?

Internet vampirism. A serious threat to society. A world would be better with out you anon ..... what can I say. But not witouth me. My life is so shitty, nothing would change if I die right NOW! not even for the better. A sewer rat would be happy tho .... feasting on my remains.... and worms ... yessssssss woooooooorms...... I'm drunk ...

Let me tell you about my deressionIt's a really strange one, i don't even know how to precisely describe it

>It's related to my childhood>It's comfortable>Some times it comes as a nostalgy-like depression>Usually comes when i remember my childhood>I don't like how it feels but i don't want to feel better>It's hot and wet like a bath

I have a friend who perfectly knows that feel and he's the only one who understands itI feel real bad right nowPlease someone knowthatfeel

Although a shit situation, my condolences Anon, but I've noticed a pattern of women (men too but) who travel and have some kind of realization about the things going on back home. Detachment from home and the daily grind, new cultures and people, and dongs, sorry...

It's always so hard to get through it. I wish I'd found a more humane way to cut through this bullshit most women project so you can't get hurt. It usually involves hurting her, like a primitive fight with no hope of compromise.

But if you want my opinion, she didn't seem like a good choice. If a woman is keeping you on the sidelines and treats you as such, you're not a friend. You're a resource, a dick in a glass case. So start from scratch before it's too late.

>>701424212Hmm, i look for signs, like the classic ones with looking at your lips, playing with her hair, and all that classic stuff. If you're pretty sure shes into you, take her some place where you can be alone, look her into the eyes for 5 seconds, if she has long hair your brush it from her face behind her ear, smile, and say something along the line of "God you're beautifull" and then kill her !

Schizophrenia is the worst thing that ever happen to my life, Meds make you Mega tierd, and that resort too not get up off the bed, that just recycle in deep depresion, More anixty tougths, but now I have cooped with it for some years, I hope I can reach some goals in Life, take care all downers or what ever you are or make you feel down, dont give up!

I hate sleeping. i started having nightmares and i hate to go to sleep because of that. even now i'm shitless tired, but not tired enough to fall aslepp immediately, so i must stay up more. what should i do to stop this irrational fear

>>701428309yeah im high right now but im so alert, i hear every single noise and im pretty much overthinking things. damn i hate that i'm afraid to sleep, everything else works perfect in my life now, but this really fucks it up

>>701406047I'm stuck in a simelar situation.Mine dumped me 3 weeks ago without any real reason except that she "had no time for a relationhip atm", but somehow has time to go to concerts, beach, etc. Worst part is she gave me hope by saying "Atleast for the summer, I don't know how it will be when we're back to Uni" (we attend the same classes). Everyday I log into fb or snapchat I just see her having fun while I'm at home 24/7. I feel like she just lost interest in me but can't admit it, even when she said that "she still had feelings for me"

I met her in highschool, the first year I was there she was a total bitch, the second year I was there, I start to talk to her, (i find,out she was only a hitch because of her boyfriend) we hit it off and start dating. (we even got in a car wreck together and survived and stayed together) we loved each other. We did everything together. She was my first with everythjng, first gf, first kiss, first sex. Always said I was the best she's ever had in bed blah blah. But we never fought. And everything was great. I have major OCD ever since my grandfather died. Just being with her made all the anxiety and depression go away. After 3 months of dating, she broke up with me for her ex. The same one that broke her heart and made her not want to date anymore. I gave her my heart, and she took it to just get broken by the same person. There was mean things said by both of us, but we had something. Hell, I was gonna take her across the country to my family reunion, because we were that close. But somehow, she got feelings for her ex out,of no where, it's been 4 months and I still can't get over her. I think about her on a daily basis. And she doesn't give a fuck about me. I'm sitting on a dirt road, before going to a friend's party typing this, crying. And you could say that, there's always more fish in the sea, but she was a solid 10/10. And I'm a 6/10. I'm not good socially, unless I get to know you and are comfortable with you. And I'm just socially awkward. And I'm too much of a moralfag to kill myself. I don't think,she knows or cares how much she hurt me. But what do I know, I'm just 18. I just had to get that off my chest and sorry if I dont,know how to post on here, I'm usually just a lurker of 4chan. Not an actaul poster.

>>701426972Ok, for me it goes like this, i meet a girl, let's say at a party, we hit it off, i get her number and we dont kiss that night. Next day or so i text her, start of slow with something lame like "Hey its the hot guy from yestoday, how are you doing?" (dont write that thats extremly bad) She answers and we make plans.If she doesnt answer you're out, dont even try anything just quit. Now heres where it gets hard IMO. Cause all you have to do is be yourself, and thats kind of hard when all you wanna do is be inside her. But REALLY stay calm (Deep breaths), talk and make jokes, be very interrested in her life. Now you look for the signs, is she looking at your lips when youre talking, is she touching you playfully ? is she playing with her hair, is she laughing way to hard compared to how fun it was. And last but very not least, how is her body language, if shes open (arms not crossed, neither should legs be) its good, but if they are, it doesnt look that good.If everything looks good you take it slow, wait for the right time and go in for the kiss, if she denies you, just apoligize, say you thought something was here and hope you can still be friends. Then try banging her friends.

>>701428024yeah check out this, Im thinking too much my self, too much dopehamine, http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Having-Nightmaresmaybe this can be somthing or not, http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Having-Nightmares

>early 20's>still live with parents>they think I'm a piece of shit>fucking hate living with parents>not being spoiled it's genuinely awful for so many reasons>supposed to do shit tier course at college in a week>instead moving to a different country to live with a friend>am completely broke but will make it work>all I want is to be independent even if I'm piss poor, I am now anyway

Spoke to a therapist about doing CBT for my depression. Turns out I'm annorexic, and all through my childhood my way of self harm - because I was too afraid of blood to cut myself - was to not eat. Averaged about 8 stone/51kg most of my life, only just now putting on weight. Yet my arms are still - and probably always will be - ridiculously skinny. My body is probably skinny-fat now, but my arms are fucking stick thin. Every time I look at myself I feel like utter shit, because I don't look right. And the only girl that ever made me feel comfortable enough to be naked around her ended up breaking up with me after 11 months - not because of anything wrong, just because she was 21 and wanted to do the whole 'career and travelling' thing, where I was 26 and didn't give a shit about that.

The usual stuff. I can't get a girl because even if i think that she likes me i have no idea how to make a romantic connection. All i do is make jokes and never know when or how to make a move. Lifting was a big part of my life but i fucked up all my joints and now I'm half way cripple. Lifting was the thing that kept the sadness from actually taking over my life. Right now i don't remember the last time that i didn't cry myself before sleep. Worst thing is i neither have nor want anyone to talk to. Nobody can help and nobody wants to help deal with your problems when they have problems of their own. And i completely understand them. The only one to blame is myself. I've thought about suicide but i don't believe in it. That and I'm too big of a pussy to do it. Right now I'm just drifting aimlessly through life.

>have no idea how to process or express emotions properly>despite this, have many friends>they often ask why a funny, manly, smart, guy like me doesn't have a gf>play it off and mask my lack of confidence with jokeshaha

allot of selffish fucks here, like serusly, Human are cancer PURE FUCKING CANCER! Humanety shud stop existing, if you want too get out of depression you need to use your body(if you have one) and start doing shit isted of looking down on yourself all the time, dosent matter anyway, your fucking cancer, Remmeber!

Looking at this thread and all of you guys is depressing me somehow. Every single one of you seems to have had some experience with love. I have not. I am twenty. Got a good job and more money than I can spend. Pretty good looking. Big house. Great friends. My life is almost perfect yet somehow looking at these threads makes me feel empty on the inside.

College Freshman. Life is shitty. I never had any friends. I was always rejected throughout my life. Bullied too. You know the drill. Until Senior Year High School. I found myself a group of people that liked me. Better still, I found a girl. Name is Shayna. She was my definition of perfection. Her face was perfect, her hair was perfect, her everything was perfect, and she was the best person to be with. She loved video games like I did, she was fun, caring, and the sweetest person. I am young and probably am talking out of my ass, but I don't think it was just a crush I had, I think I fell a little in love with her. She didn't return my feelings (to not deviate, I found out she had decided to avoid relationships at all in high school for a variety of reasons. This was the legit explanation). I decided to tell her that I was a bit into her, because I wanted to put it behind me (and I told her "I used to" have crush on her, to make it clear that was not the case anymore). She took it well, and we stayed as friends. I had assumed that by intentionally closing the door of a relationship with her forever, and by being honest, I could force myself to move on. Then graduation comes around. And bam, University I was aiming for rejected me. All those APs, all those shitty pointless fucking extra classes and extra work for nothing. Most of my friends went to that University (UF). Shayna went to FSU. I am in UCF. I have no friends here. I am alone. Because I never had friends until literally 8 months ago, I can't be charismatic. I don't know anyone. I don't know how to meet anyone. I still talk to Shayna everyday. I still love her. The thought that she is out there, meeting men who are stronger and better than me, that now that she is looking for someone, I am not there, and that someone else will have the one person I love... Worse still, now I now what friendship is. Loneliness is colder now...

>College Freshman.>Life is shitty. I never had any friends.>I was always rejected throughout my life.>Bullied too. You know the drill.>Until Senior Year High School. I found myself a group of people that liked me.>Better still, I found a girl.>Name is Shayna.>She was my definition of perfection. Her face was perfect, her hair was perfect, her everything was perfect, and she was the best person to be with. She loved video games like I did, she was fun, caring, and the sweetest person.>I am young and probably am talking out of my ass, but I don't think it was just a crush I had, I think I fell a little in love with her.>She didn't return my feelings (to not deviate, I found out she had decided to avoid relationships at all in high school for a variety of reasons. This was the legit explanation).>I decided to tell her that I was a bit into her, because I wanted to put it behind me (and I told her "I used to" have crush on her, to make it clear that was not the case anymore).>She took it well, and we stayed as friends.>I had assumed that by intentionally closing the door of a relationship with her forever, and by being honest, I could force myself to move on.>Then graduation comes around.>And bam, University I was aiming for rejected me. All those APs, all those shitty pointless fucking extra classes and extra work for nothing.>Most of my friends went to that University (UF).>Shayna went to FSU.>I am in UCF.>I have no friends here.>I am alone. Because I never had friends until literally 8 months ago, I can't be charismatic.>I don't know anyone. I don't know how to meet anyone.>I still talk to Shayna everyday.>I still love her.>The thought that she is out there, meeting men who are stronger and better than me, that now that she is looking for someone, I am not there, and that someone else will have the one person I love... Worse still, now I now what friendship is.>Loneliness is colder now...>I'm a beta faggot

I just dont feel like doing anything anymore. I used to be really active and all that but now i just sit on my bed ad browse the internet. Girls are somewhat interested in me but im to afraid to have a girlfriend because im always so awkward around them.

>>701431471>>701428625Don't have an experience with love.I am the guy from >>701428625.It gives you heaven and hell at the same time, and in the end it's not worth it unless you know it's the right one. Do try to date, but avoid falling in love.

>>701431634To make things worse, family is a bitch. I hate all of them. The only people who ever gave a shit about me where my friends, and they are gone now. Only two have managed to remain in contact (Shayna and another girl whom was almost a good a friend as Shayna. She is in UF.), and they are gone now. We are all separated. I am back in as I was before. Except its worse. I had a taste of the good life. What it means to be cared for, to be loved (not romantically, but still). I also know what it is like to love, and now I can't get her out of my head. I have nightmares of her fucking a football player in front of me while humiliating me. Kind of like cuck porn, but purely with the intention to hurt me, not even in a "I am into it" kind of way. She tells me how he is a man I would never be. I can't sleep anymore. I hate life. To be so cruel as to give hope to a broken man and to then take it all away. Life has become just endless pain. I can't take it anymore. Not knowing that happiness exists and that I can't have it. Worse still, knowing that even if I find it again, that it can so easily be taken from you. I will probably an hero some day, life is just so miserable. I know this sounds cringey and edgy, but I don't know what else to do. I can't take knowing happiness truly exists and that I cannot have it, almost like life is dangling it in front of eyes in a mocking fashion. I hate myself. I hate life.

>>701432027>To make things worse>family is a bitch.>I hate all of them.>The only people who ever gave a shit about me where my friends, and they are gone now.>Only two have managed to remain in contact (Shayna and another girl whom was almost a good a friend as Shayna. She is in UF.), and they are gone now.>We are all separated.>I am back in as I was before.>Except its worse.>I had a taste of the good life.>What it means to be cared for, to be loved (not romantically, but still).>I also know what it is like to love, and now I can't get her out of my head.>I have nightmares of her fucking a football player in front of me while humiliating me. >Kind of like cuck porn, but purely with the intention to hurt me, not even in a "I am into it" kind of way.>She tells me how he is a man I would never be.>I can't sleep anymore.>I hate life.>To be so cruel as to give hope to a broken man and to then take it all away.>Life has become just endless pain. I can't take it anymore.>Not knowing that happiness exists and that I can't have it.>Worse still, knowing that even if I find it again, that it can so easily be taken from you. >I will probably an hero some day, life is just so miserable.>I know this sounds cringey and edgy, but I don't know what else to do.>I can't take knowing happiness truly exists and that I cannot have it, almost like life is dangling it in front of eyes in a mocking fashion.>I hate myself.>I hate life.>I'm a cuck faggot

The world is just too fucked up to have a decent life and family or anything anymore. Cultural Marxist dystopia. Because of this my girlfriend is moving back to the Philippines. Sitting around at home alone with a bad liver and a broken heart.

>>701403374> a month from 30> can do or learn to do almost anything, except for math, math sucks> above average skills in computers and mechanics, > can build comps and cars years of experience in both> can't get a job in either because people skills suck also slight autism, not terrible but bad enough to fuck things up> can't stop fucking things up> in and out of suicidal depression cycles for years now> only hanging on another month to see what happens when I become a wizard

I used to be a A+ student with crippling depression caused by the fact that I didn't enjoy my life, everyone was having fun, going out, having sex, trying things.I was talking to myself, and it was only gonna get worse>Be me 5 years ago>16>Crippling depression caused by my own toughts such as "Did I really enjoy life? Am I ok having no friends?" an such>Mom notices, she becomes supportive with me, god bless her.>Dad Notices>Starts beating me up and telling to cut my bullshit and keep studying>Mom confronts him>Dad is agressive as fuck>They divorce>Mom looks for a new place to live, dad stays in old home>Live with mom>She dies in a car accident a few weeks later, after we moved to our new home.>To this day, I'm still sure it wasmy dad as a form of revenge>Go to funeral, destroyed emotionally>Dad isn't here.>Grown brother, 21yo at the time talks to me at funeral>"Common anon, she wouldn't like to see you cry for her, she wants you to be strong">Doesn't help that much.>Go to brothers aparment for a while, I'm in need of company.>He invites friends over, drinking and smoking.>I secretly took a beer from them.>Never drank one before>Try itTo this day, alcohol is still my only friend.I have a decent job, my father died, I have every single material thing one could want, a nice car, a nice tv, a nice computer.But that doesn't matter when you start drink your money out

>>701403374>be me>im below beta im fucking omega>start talking to this girl>she tells me shit like "oh you're the only guy who actually makes me feel special" >think i actually have a chance>ask her out 2 days later>"oh sorry anon, im not looking for a boyfriend" >accept it and keep talking as friends >3 days later she fucking texts me bragging about how she's giving her ex a second chancejust about ready to off myself

>>701433908Several reasons. First, I just don't want to like her anymore. She is not into me, she never will be, and that is the end of that. Even if she was, she is 250 miles away and I am a poor college student. Second, I have discussed the issue since then. She has still been supportive and all, and hasn't been a cunt in any way. I just want to move on lads. But I don't know why I physically can't. Been looking for more girls, but I cannot find any one that makes me want to forget her. Been going to parties and shit, but I can't get her out of my mind.

We were best friends before we started dating, we broke up today... After almost 9 years. We were happy but things were no longer the same for a while now. We spent a yea apartr and that fucked things up somewhat. We tried to make it work. I was going to marry her... I still love her and always will. I want to be friends with her but don't know how anymore, hugging her will be different, I will no longer be able to fall asleep with her, to kiss her. I wish I was angry, I wish I wanted to break everything and leave her behind... But I understand her too well to hate her even though I can tell she wants me to...

>>701429753Thanks anon. I got a gameplan now. Thats the thing is I talk to girls just fine I got 4 girls who just want to 'hang' and turn up right now. But now that I have a genral idea on what to look for I can move forward with confidence.

>Married 5 years this year>Wife comes up to me at the beginning of summer and says she "Doesn't think we are compatible anymore">Summer of absolute hell begins>Get kicked out of my home>Learn she left me for an acne covered 21 year old with a greasy receding hairline that has a unibrow and looks like a pedophile. He make pokemon youtube videos and most of the people who watch him are kids so it wouldn't surprise me if he was one.>Spend entire summer angry and drepressed. Had to move back in with family which sucks cause I feel like a loser.>Can't afford to get my own place because only shit jobs available where I live>Job its self feels meaningless since I don't have a wife anymore>She was not only my wife but she was my best friend and I didn't really have many friends outside of her and her family>Her family is stupid and thinks she is being "liberated" so obviously I don't want anything to do with them.>Sometimes wonder if it's worth trying to start everything over

I can't be with my gf of 8 months anymore.The spark is gone and I just don't feel the same about her anymore.She was nothing but good to me and she did nothing wrong, and she knows I'm going to break up with her soon. She doesn't know when, but she loves me very much and I just don't think I do anymore. I feel so fucking awful about it. I've decided it would be best to approach the topic and talk about it with her to see if nothing can really work out, and to our knowledge, it can't. The spark is just gone.I feel so bad. I have to hurt her for the better of the both of us and she did nothing wrong. I have been crying for two days about it.

>>701429753I definetly feel you though. Talking to them and making plans is the easy part but assessing the situation and acting is the hard part. Say shes cool with it she kisses back what then? Where to touch what to do, should I go for and try undressing her or fingering her the first time to get her warmed up or is that not a first time thing?

I’m dyingI’m dying since i am a childsince my birthi can’t smile, i cant feelwho am i can’t watching me in the mirrorcan’t revive when i’m already deadi’m not human, i’m human horrori scare people cause i’m differenti’m a thinkerand i will die keeping these toughtslife will still going on, dyingare feelings created by life or by human race ?i need to know i’m realif i already existedgrow up is bullshiti’m seing only death closersometimes i remember a pretence of emotionswhat’s the worth in all of this ?each night i can’t sleepcause i know i have no reason to wake up the following daydreams are my only passioni can be who i wantwithout shame, everything is possiblei don’t need to pretend to be alivei’m young and i already knowmy life will be a huge regretthis is already truth

>>701436369You could instead ask her to give yourselves a time. Not break up. But give yourselves a break from each other.Go out, meet some other people, don't think of the case. and You'll mind will be clear if to break up with her or not

>>701409512I feel the same way. I've been depressed for over a year now and the depression comes in waves. I almost constantly hate myself but there are times where I can barely resist the urge to hang myself

Why do you have girlfriends /b/? or Why do you want one?In this last year of my life, I've started doing things that benefit me nicely. Not being a dick, just picking the best way.What does having a girlfriend even give you?Isn't it just a waste of time and money with no actual benefit to reaching your goals?I'm not talking about getting in a relationship with your bosses daughter so he likes you, I'm talking about having a pure feeling relationship that you all seem to want and sometimes achieve.You could say sex, which is only a luxury and has no benefit to you.You could say love, which is the same as above, you don't need love to reach your goals.You could say emotional support, which you shouldn't need unless you are weak enough to require some.What else does a girlfriend even give you? Isn't it absolutely unnecessary?I don't understand why you would want a burden in your life if you haven't done everything you want to do in life yet?I'm not saying why are you interacting with women, I'm asking why are you even looking for a pure, long lasting, feeling only relationship?

I've been chasing this girl since middle school. She went from my first friend (I only really started talking around 8th grade) to my best friend to my hardest crush to my girlfriend. We dated through high school. Naturally we both changed lots. Taught eachother stuff. She taught me to eat better, smile more, talk more, and dress better. I taught her to respect herself, keep trying, and always be kind. I'm starting college tomorrow. Like I said I didn't really start talking or being social until near the end of middle school. My first group of awesome friends I got in high school are mostly going to different schools. She dumped me last night (I'll post her text in another post). I've lost my friends and my girlfriend. I haven't felt this lonely in so long and don't know what to do. I can't help but think about all the hardships and how we've always found a way. How even though she went to high school in another state, cars and trains and video calls and texts and phone calls kept us going.

>>701441789'I'm sorry I don't feel the same way anymore. I know you're going through a hard time in your life but so am I. I know you're trying you're best but I just don't feel the same way anymore. You treat me so well and spoil me but I don't feel the butterflies in my stomach or the spark, even my heart skipping anymore. I don't understand why but its just kinda happened. I don't want to end it but I think it needs to end. This relationship is hard for the both of us. We're arguing and not happy about 50% of the time. I love you but I don't like you anymore the way I should. I can't and don't want to force it. You deserve a better, nicer, more understanding person. I'm sorry that I tried to drag it out for so long'

Desire just holds you back. Stop desiring things. We all have the desire to be with a girl and reproduce because it's programmed into our nature. It just creates more suffering. Give up desire and find happiness.

>8th grade>I have a super generic white kid name>locker is next to the resident chad has the same name and everyone comes to talk to him>taught myself to stop responding to my name>school isnt fun>in biology class second semester>hears some resident amerifat talking shit about the height of some girl I sat next to>she was small (like, 4'8") but same age and overall 8/10>she looked legitimately sad>amerifat keeps talking shit about her height>whiteknightmode.png>"can you please stop talking about your dick for five seconds">that was the best I could come up with>he roasts me back>nothing happens after that>eventually start talking with the girl>we become pretty good friends>not super close, but we talk a lot>she's really sweet and outgoing>she's one of the first people in a while that I'd actually consider as a "friend">i start crushing on her because i've been dateless for 8 years (i had a gf in kindergarten) and i'm thirsty as fuck>nothing happens for a while>fall break rolls along>"Anon, your grandmother died of a stroke earlier this morning.">eventually calm down and head back to school>tries to work up the courage to ask her out since I've had no experience doing so>it's almost winter break>bio is about to end and we get out>girl turns to me in a serious tone and says she wants to talk about relationship stuff.>imgonnagetlaidarenti.png>"Anon, I've got a crush on someone and I don't know if he'll like me or not.">isshetalkingaboutme.avi>"He's pretty tall and athletic.">shotthroughtheheart.webm>i just want her to be happy so i play it off cooly and try to act supportive>i say some stock-white knight bullshit about "just be yourself because i can't think of someone who wouldn't like you.">go home>contemplate the fact that i'm going to die a virgin>comes back to school the next year>nothing much happens again>girl starts to talk to me less and less

>>701442459>other girls suddenly start making me the butt of their jokes>what did i fucking do>one girl who i also considered my "friend" made an offhand joke about my recently dead grandma>she also told me that i'm going to die a virgin>they probably figured out that i had a crush on the short girl already>they spread rumors that she's lesbian>areyoufuckingkiddingme.zip>the year is almost over>i've tried to completely remove any hopes of romance from my mind because i know that I'll just screw it up in the end like this time>i lower my goals from "i want a gf" to "i want a hug">nobody outside of my family has ever given me a genuine hug so that would mean the most to me>new assignment in bio>it has nothing to do with previous assignments>we have to make bottle rockets since we never got to make bottle rockets in any of our classes before>i make silvery spray-painted bottle rocket>i actually bothered to make the wings with 90 degree angles>this actually paid off in the end>we were measuring whose rocket could fly the highest>girl i crushed on jokingly brought a jar of glitter and was throwing it at the rockets before they went off>it wasn't autistic i swear it was adorable>teacher almost forgets to launch my rocket>it fucking pierces the heavens and falls down like nukes over hiroshima>mine flew the highest by far>the flight was even tilted like a real rocket>classmates start praising me and heralding me as their new king>for once people actually give a shit about me>substitute teacher rolls along>"Anon's rocket flew the farthest, but since it had an angled flight, we can't count it as the highest flying rocket.">SHOTTHROUGHTHEHEART.webm.webm>everybody forgets about me>back to square one>the girl i crushed on last year says something to me in my moment of anguish>"Anon, do you want a hug?">i never told anyone about my goal of getting a hug>i don't care if its a pity hug, i just want to not be a miserable piece of shit forever

>>701403599This is me every weekend... I just lay in bed until 4pm... Get up and eat something, browse the net for a bit.. Get tired...go back to bed again...watch shit on youtube for hours....can't relate to anything... Feel nothing. Drink in the evening til i pass out.... Life is interesting

>>701442685>i try to play it cooly>"uh, sure.">she gives me a tight hug>we hug for a solid ten or so seconds>the happiest fucking moment of my life>she's patting me on the back, which is kinda weird, but i don't care>i finally had hope for a future where i wasnt going to die a miserable piece of shit>maybe i had a chance of meeting people who actually gave a shit about me>she unwraps her arms and giggles>she walks off to talk with her friends since its the end of class and we can do whatever>she walks by her table>her jar of glitter is near empty>a thought goes through my mind>oh God no>i pull the back of my shirt around me>S H O T T H R O U G H T H E H E A R T.webm.webm.webm>the back of my shirt is fucking covered in glitter>it wasn't a legitimate hug>it was a fucking prank>she didn't give a single shit about me>she goes off to glitterbomb a few of her friends>she had her own plans for life, her own friends, her own future>i was in none of them, not even as a friend>she literally hasn't talked to me since>this is what i get for setting my goals too high>eventually i stopped having relationship goals since I know i'll only get disappointed in the end.

It's been a long time since then, and I still haven't been in a relationship. Deep down, I know that I want to love someone and be loved back, but I know that I'll only end up disappointing them.

>>701441634I just want to be loved, im not a bad guy at all, my worst problem its to be ugly.I want someone to grow up together, i dont need sex at all, its important, but not the ultimate goal.I prefer a good conversation and a warm afternoon instead of fuck pussy.

>>701443126Yeah, but what does being love get you? Why do you want to be loved?If you want someone to grow up with like a best friend or something you can find them around all the time. Anyone with the same main interest as you whether it's gaming, drawing, music etc. you can always find someone. You don't need a girlfriend or a committed relationship for that. We both also know that male best friends don't give a fuck if you look good or not.

Just spent the last two years with a woman, but broke up with her on Tuesday. I initiated the breakup, but it ended up being fairly mutual, but it's absolutely killing me. I can't think about anything else. I wake up crying at 4 AM because I have dreams that I had to say good-bye to her again. I get teary-eyed in my college classes and at work. I keep thinking about the future we were planning and how it'll never happen now. Everything around me reminds me of her in some way, and a memory of our relationship randomly pops into my head every few minutes.

I genuinely loved her and saw a future with her for a long time, but she 1) is eight years younger, so she's extremely codependent and demanding that I be the source of all her happiness, 2) is unable to love someone unconditionally despite inherent, lifelong aspects of their personality (introversion, not putting pictures of her on social media all the time because I didn't grow up in the social media era, lack of relationship experience because I was single from 20-29), and 3) started manifesting a lot of childish, spoiled, disrespectful, conflict-addicted behaviors that made the age difference more apparent.

And I wasn't without my own problems: 1) low sex drive, while she always needs physical touch and intimacy, 2) introversion made it hard for me to talk about things, so when she'd complain that I wasn't being the source of all her happiness as she expected, I'd just shut down and become silent and isolated instead of discussing it, and 3) when she'd have a terrible attitude because something extremely minor happened that didn't affect her at all, I'd get mad about it instead of just ignoring it (not that she should get angry for an hour because a stranger "stared" at her for two seconds).

I keep having second thoughts, even though I know that the same issues would just continue if we got back together. This is going to be a really tough couple of months without a huge part of my life.

being forced to see a psych, hating it, past couple months have been the most miserable of my entire life and it's slowly getting worse. I don't want to change but the only way for me to get away from doctors and family is to do so. even if I want to try and get 'better' it'll take god knows how long. I can handle being miserable, but I can't handle being miserable for months and months and months on end.

Don't know why it sucks, I have some good friends and a girlfriend, I'm just an overly anxious person, always worrying about pointless shit, thinking that I'm ruining my life with my decisions, insecure about my girlfriend, etc. And when I'm bored, (every day) I resort to drugs.

I have no friends and no family to spend time with or talk to. No car to get away from being alone in my dorm. I really need a distraction.

I've been looking at other women on campus to think about a woman besides her. None of them compare. I even tried getting back into watching porn; it does nothing for me now, because I'd rather see her naked.

I mean, hell... she wasn't a beauty queen by any means, and she was overweight, but none of the "hot" girls on campus even interest me because they aren't the woman who's been in my life for the last two years.

It fulfills an evolutionary imperative. We are pack animals, and we're monogamous mates, and we have a strong biological drive to find a lifelong companion. You can tell yourself all you want, as long as you want, that you don't need someone else, but that desire will supersede any conscious attempt to be happy with loneliness eventually.

I mean, being alone has been demonstrated in vast amounts of peer-reviewed research to lead to psychological and physiological problems over time. Being alone is literally deadly. Humans are meant to find someone to share our life with. Life experiences are just more fulfilling if you get to go through them with someone else.

Go play the pixellated free indie title "The Game of Life" if you need a visual explanation.

I know the feels, man. Just broke up with my girlfriend of two years this week. Not nine years, but anything in the "years" range is pretty fucking painful. Hard to say good-bye to such a massive aspect of your life after that long. I wish I knew you IRL so we'd mutually have someone to talk to who understands

>>701443944To fulfill my life. You are right, im not good at love, but at least i have some friends, i cant say a lot of them, but i trust them.Also i already had bad social relationships before, i was raised lonely by a overprotective grandma, dont get me wrong, i spent my childhood in front of the tv and playing videogames (in a SNES) my childhood was boring but really happy, when i grow up, i thought that "social life" was important, i thought that everybody you know was trustable... i was wrong, i got some nasty experinces and i lost interest in social life, but im not antisocial, and i have some easiness to win people's confidence, so i managed to have some trustable friends well... im going out of the topic, to go straight to the point i just want a family, and live a peaceful life, my family is almost worthless, i only have my father right not, when he leaves me (hope several years pass until then)... well... I have too much love to give, im not so desperate though to said something like "i will treat her like a princess" or stuff like that, i want someone to be at my said, just as i would stay at her sideSome people take money, women, power as a sucess.For me sucess is to have a family.

>>701444399>I love you but I don't like you anymore the way I should. I can't and don't want to force it. You deserve a better, nicer, more understanding person. I'm sorry that I tried to drag it out for so long'

She was confussed, you cant love someone and let him/her go away just like that, maybe it was to harsh from me to said she cheated in you, but the less that happened was that she met someone else.

>>701403374I don't know, anon.I don't know why I feel like shit. I'll tell you the brief story of my life, maybe you'll help me to sort it out?

Born in 1995.2001, brother is born. Parents bought me a PS1 so I wouldn't think they loved him more than me.Age 9. Diagnosed with diabetus. Lose my faith in justrice. Depression starts.age 14. Have 5 plans to end my life.Age 18. Tried alcohol for the first time. Enjoyed the time of being careless.Age 21. Seriously contemplating suicide, looking at all 5 aforementioned files, fixing them with new knowlege (I study if medical university).I see no point in living. I am a waste.The weak should give their place to the young and the strong.I am weak, anon. I am a disabled human. I have bad genes. I must give my place to someone better than me, but I lack the strenght to make the final move.

You can't change a low sex drive. You can't change your personality type. And you can't expect someone to sit there and be happy while their partner rants psychotically for an hour and is in a shitty mood for the rest of the day because someone was driving too slowly in the other lane of traffic.

>>701403374I'm a very mentally ill transgender girl. I'm 15 years old and won't be able to move out of my parents house until the age of 19 at least. My parents are super transphobic and the most I've said is my pronouns are they/them. They don't believe mental illness is a thing, so I just have to go on living with hallucinations, OCD, and depression for about 4 years. I'm also autistic. Fun times in general

>>701445365Look, anon, I can put it simplet.1)eat2) drink3) procreate4) procreate5) protect your offspring.Poof. There you go. The 5 maun princeples of life. Everything esle is but a garment. at least 2 of them ensure you won't die.5 of them make sure we will not die oout as a species. It's a primal instinct, to put it this way.

>>701446552So she wasnt wortwhile to you to change.The way you said things looks like you didnt like your relationship too much.You are just afraid to end lonely... just as ISome people prefers a abusive/bad relationship over loneliness.Hope you find someone.

Let's say, you open a book and begin reaging. Do you know how it ends? No, not yet. Does it end in some way? Yes. And it will in same way no matter how many times your read it.There is no " what if" anon. Creating "what if reality" takes time, energy. The universe conserves those. Why would it create an alternate universe, if noone follows it?

>>701441634I have a gfI just do whatever the fuck I want and explain that to her. I don't cheat because I can't be assed. I don't spend much, if any, money on her. I don't spend all day with her. She's still a time-drain, but easy sex and she's pretty hotAlso having your own personal cheerleader is quite nice

>>701445777I understand what you want. I also want to have a lovely family later in life too, a lover to stand beside, sipping my hot chocolate during winter and everything is perfect, even though mine is quite later in my life. I'm sorry if I gave the wrong message, I meant why do you constantly want to have a relationship NOW. I mean if you mean having a family is the only thing you want, what do you do after you have one? You surely will have jobs you want to work at, a passion to follow, people that you want to meet. Why have a family now and have the burden on you while accomplishing these other dreams when you can have the family later in life? This is of course still implying that your only ambition is not to have a family but it's a big one. I don't understand if you really want to meet your soulmate and then live your life in middle class in a normal job. You know the stereotypical "slave in the society" since to do that would mean that you don't have other ambitions. If you don't that's fine, but what I'm asking is if you have other ambitions in life as well, why not just do the family thing later while reaching your dreams with no pressure of a family. Of course this whole conversation might be me just incapable of understanding the concept and importance of love as well.

>>701442459>>701442685>>701443020>another teenager whining about some girl he's crushing on that doesn't love himGet over yourselfGo to uni, drink alcohol, join a society, cringe that you were ever like this

>>701447081This has to be b8No one will ever care about your made up pronouns. You are not some special snowflake. If you want to be special, go accomplish something. Deciding you're a girl because you're too much of a pussy for masculinity is beyond cowardly

>>701448030Exactly, anon.In my language, there is a joke, so here it comes:a man died. He sees St. Peter, near heaven gates. He says: St. Peter, what was the point of my life? I just died in a car accident... I didn't do anything great, I didnt save anyone.St. Peret look throught his book and says: Remember, in 1989 you wre riding a train?The man says: Yes, I do.St, Peter continues: Remember, the woman asked you to pass the salr?Man: Yes, I do.St. Peter: Well, that's about it. That was the goal of your life. To pass the salt.

>>701448752Not bait. I am who I am. I'm not gonna respond to hate because I don't want to get mad and start saying shit. If you have questions or would like to know anything I can help though, it seems like you don't know what being trans means.

>>701403374I promise you it will never get any better. The only girlfriend I ever had, I was 23, dumped me after a one year relationship. I was full of ambition at that time. Finishing a masters in molecular dynamics in ultra-short laser pulses. I had 2 articles published and was about to do a Ph.D at a very prestigious university. When she told me the relationship was over it crushed me into pieces. I never felt such paralyzing pain before.It drove me into major depression and a catatonic state. I gave up on everything. Friends, career, everything. Now I am 37 and still on anti-depressants. I teach high school chemistry and mathematics to rich and spoiled prep school brats and spend all of my free time isolated in my crummy apartment jerking off to japanese porn, trolling youtube comments and lurking 4chan. Will be an hero before 40. Can't take anymore.

>>701404283What a load of shit. You left her because she was mentally unstable. She just proved it. You are lucky that you left the whore when you did. It could have been a murder/an hero, you dumbass.

You have no idea what you are. You're just looking to be special without actually having to put forth effort. Just be a kid while you still can and stop worrying about ridiculous gender identity bullshit.

Yes. I am likely an autismo. Not really ironic that I'd been poking fun at them for like a decade. I can't take interactions with people anymore. It's pathetic. It's not that I'm lacking confidence, it's just that nothing seems worth it. I guess I took in some of the wrong information. The problem might stem from how literally I interpret things. I never could take a joke. In any case, as I walked the narrow path of life, I encountered people, just the way any of you might, then they sort of veer off to nowhere. They stop existing in your life. Not that they are any less for it, but to me, even never meeting some grungy bus driver again makes me feel like someone I know died. I hate it. I have (had?) some normal friends, but the more I interacted with them, the more distant I felt as time went by. I was probably the one who changed. Oh well. Sorry to waste your time if you bothered reading this. Have a nice day.

I live in a constant cycle that no matter how hard i try to break it and i never can it has been like this for years since i was younger due to all the bullshit i had to deal with back then and now i just really don't see the point the only positive i've had in year is my first gf and we've been dating for nearly 2 years but she is really the only thing going for me for the past 2 nights i just wanted to drink just so i could pass out and get the day over and done with and i've had severe anxiety problems and severe depression for so long and i fucking hate it i don't want to wake up ever i contemplate suicide daily there is a gun in the next room so i know that i could just pull it and it will be over but it fucking terrifies me to think of these thoughts daily

I can say with certainty that this is your anonymous troll persona talking, and that in real life, you're just as desirous of companionship as everyone else. Try to look like a beta MGTOW all you want online, but in the end, we're all human beings with an innate biological need for companionship.

>>701447899>Of course this whole conversation might be me just incapable of understanding the concept and importance of love as well.

Not at all anon, an other opinion and maybe some advise is always refreshing dont you think?

I think i need to give some background of me before continue:

When i was between a year to three years my mother leave my father, he was to bussy at work back then (he worked as engineer, but never graduated though), so a family's friend taked care of me when i was young, she was like my own grandma, i lived with her, along with one of her sons, and his family, they were five people, my grandma's son, his wife, a son and two daughters, i didnt get along to well with his daughters at the beggining. i never knew about my mothers family, my father never knew his father and his mother died when i was little, more or less the same time my mother leave him.Like i said before i didnt get along too well with my "uncle's" daughters, but the years passed and i started to thought of them as my own family (mainly with the old one, she was two years older than I)When i had 11 yo my grandma died, so i went to live with my father, we have a pretty good relationship, we had though times in my adolescense, but we get along really good.At the beginning i didnt lost contact with my uncles and my cousins, my father gived some monthly pay to my uncle, so i went to that house to lunch, we lived in the same street, so it wasnt the big deal. i do a lot for them, i always stayed when they got problems, When i had 16 yo i had a surgical complication, i almost died... they didnt care about me... ever a single call.. people of my college that i knew in less than a year cared more about me than them, people that i knew since ever. So i cut all contact with them, i see them occasionally, but we almost never talk.(cont.)

>>701449071Being trans is pretending that you're smarter than biology and refusing to think that maybe it's a mental disorder despite admitting that you're mentally unstable because another symptom is narcissism making your ego too big to accept that

>>701450616You seem to not know what being transgender is. If you would like to ask questions or gain an understanding that's okay. Everything other than hate I will be answering. If you can't respect me than at least don't hate me for something I can't control. If it were my choice I would be cis.

You can change behaviors and choices. You can't change inherent, inborn aspects of your personality that have been with you all your life. An introvert can't magically become an extrovert; those personality types are hard-wired into the brain, and they determine whether you're recharged or drained by human interaction.

You can't change a low sex drive. You can fake it, but you can't rewire your libido. I really wish I had a high sex drive, or even an average one, because low libido kills relationships, but I can't just pick one up. They're neurological drive levels.

>>701451156 I'm mentally ill, yes, but that has nothing to do with me being trans. There are a lot of problems with being trans, such as people like you. I don't like it, but it's who I am and I'm proud of who I am.

>>701451119>Being dogkin is my species not being human even though I lack body fur, I'm mentally ill, yes, but that has nothing to do with my trans-speciness. I'm valid and no one is going to tell me otherwise.

>>701451303>I'm mentally ill, yes, but that has nothing to do with me being dogkin. There are a lot of problems with being dogkin, such as people like you. I don't like it, but it's who I am and I'm proud of who I am.

I know the feels, friend. Some real-life stuff piled up when I was college-aged and at university. (What I thought was) a hard breakup, my parents' divorce, the death of my final grandparent, all in the same month. Went into a pretty deep depression and flunked out. Spent a whole decade depressed and working shit jobs. Took me all this time to finally get the confidence to go back and get a degree. I'd kill to be able to go back and tell myself that those things aren't worth throwing away a decade over.

I work in a place for mental-illness, and you realize being nice to girls at your job make men jealous, at the same time pissing people off, because nice people like.

You end up missing out on a lot of great people to be around. The last girl at my job just left. She was suck a cute bubbly person that everybody loved. Everybody knew she was the one I liked the most, and I had a gay guy at my job basically treat me like shit because he heard stories about me.

Sometimes, I blame my father, because I have a brother who is 34 and never worked a day in his life, and literally had to escape my house and create my own life. My father thought I was going crazy. Yes, somethings will make you go crazy without actually being crazy. Questions you can't answer or have answers for is one.

You get tired of trying to dodge the mentally-ill asking you personal questions if you have a girlfriend. If they only knew.

>>701451582Reminder that this was a thread for people with problems to say what was troubling them and many people (or just you, you seem like a real fucking nice person) are insulting me. This was not the intended purpose of the thread.

There is no gender "Trans", faggot. There's male and female. You've just been caught up in the shitstorm that is the pseudoscientific Tranny movement because you're a bored teenager who needs to find a way to belong. This will pass. Don't make any rash decisions or jump on the bandwagon. People don't know what or who they really are until around 25. Give it a decade, and if you still feel like a crazy faggot then, feel free to chop off your dick because it means you really are a crazy faggot and not just a stupid teenager struggling to fit in.

Been single my whole life. I've had sex once. It's been two years since and my sexdrive just vanished. I litteraly had to force myself to jerk off, just to see if it still works. Feeling pretty damn frustrated and ashamed.

>>701452166>There is no gender "Trans", faggot. There's male and female. You've just been caught up in the shitstorm that is the pseudoscientific Tranny movement because you're a bored teenager who needs to find a way to belong. This will pass. Don't make any rash decisions or jump on the bandwagon. People don't know what or who they really are until around 25. Give it a decade, and if you still feel like a crazy faggot then, feel free to chop off your dick because it means you really are a crazy faggot and not just a stupid teenager struggling to fit in.>Nobody is insulting youPick one

Yeah, right there with you. Single virgin from 20 to 29, so I feel like my libido must have just atrophied from lack of use. The last two years until the breakup have been pretty painful because she had a high sex drive and I had almost none.

>>701451625Congrats for having the strength to go back getting your degree after a decade anon. I understand the feeling and emotional burden of having to go back with a younger crowd and being triggered by all kinds of stimuli that would affect your already fragile self-esteem/confidence. I never had the balls to do it myself because of that.Hope you are well.

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