This year was supposed to be joyous though it has had it's ups and downs. Though weddings can be joyful the planning can be stressful. God has blessed me with a man who has been with me through my most difficult health issues. Despite my problem, he decided to propose to me and ask me to be his wife. I am over the moon as the special day approaches. I continue for God's guidance throughout our lives.

The condition I have puts me at risk for anemia due to extreme bleeding related to fibroids. This can test a woman's fertility and with each fibroid I have had to face (3 in last 3 years), it has taken an emotional toll on me. The desire to have children is strong but once again, my fiance has stood by my side in case any difficulty to have our own children should arise. He says if it's not going to happen that way there are other options like adoption.

My latest hospitalization, however, made me scared. I thought I would lose my uterus if the diagnostic tests were inconclusive. However, despite having a previous surgery (on my birthday no less) a new fibroid grew in a span of two months! God be praised the pathology was benign. My mom took it hard & I worry for her as she has stents in her heart and she worries so much about me as I prepare a new life in marriage as well. This emergency almost put her into a heart attack.

On top of this, being out of work has been a God send, as the stress there I feel contribute to the growth of the fibroid I recently removed. I am out at least a month and a half before the wedding. However, I had to fight for myself in processing paperwork for my leave as the receptionist at the doctor's office has not been the most reliable nor efficient. After sending an email with the file of my forms, God be praised I got approved for my leave. It weighed heavily as my time away from work would affect my pay, especially during a crucial time as I prepare to become a new wife with a new life!

Thank you Lord for the blessings you bestowed on me. The struggle I have is the same as the one you gave Your only son, Jesus. To follow in His path is to suffer but in the end we share in his resurrection. With old life comes a rejuvenated one from the passion we experience in our own lives. We are not alone in our suffering. His crucifixion teaches us to embrace our problems as something ordained by God. We may be angry, afraid, confused in the moment, but even in the desperate times, God will be at our side even if we feel or decide He no longer supports us in our suffering. Help us to understand why we struggle & why we must sacrifice.
Forgive us when we curse you or stop believing in You. Your mercy is never failing!
I just thought I'd share my adoration, contrition, thanskgiving, & supplication with you all.