Stressing out? Think calm thoughts this season

When you no longer can take comfort in annual holiday traditions, it's time to start some new traditions. Share talents, exercise, eat healthy, and take time for yourself to help overcome some of the stress, anxiety, depression and grief that sometimes come with the season.

It also kicks off the holiday season for some people gearing up for Christmas, and the whirlwind of activities that entails from planning shopping trips, parties and family visits, to baking, decorating and mailing cards. And this year, in a rare occurrence, Thanksgiving falls on the beginning of Hanukkah.

At the same time, some people absolutely dread this time of year for numerous reasons. Mourning the loss of loved ones, battling illnesses, facing financial struggles, feeling lonely and anxious, and trying to do too much all add to stress around the holidays.

When you no longer can take comfort in annual holiday traditions, it's time to start some new traditions.

"One of the easiest and best ways to de-stress is taking a few minutes ... and breathing," said Anne McFeely, a registered nurse and the director of Two Visions Harmony and Wellness Center at 2500 Wales Avenue NW in Jackson Township.

McFeely recommends taking 10 minutes in a relaxed sitting position, focusing on your breathing and using words to help occupy and quiet the mind, such as "be" and "still."

"This helps to quiet and calm the mind," she said. "A short time to meditate or sit quietly is good."

She also suggests a yoga class, or some relaxation with Reiki or reflexology.

SHARE YOUR TALENTS

Patti Fetzer, manager of service delivery at the Mental Health and Recovery Services Board of Stark County, reminds people to share their talents, exercise, eat healthy and take time for themselves to help overcome some of the stress, anxiety, depression and grief they may feel this season.

"At Thanksgiving, it's a time to be thankful for what we have, but one of the things to decrease the holiday stress is to recognize the gifts each of us has been given individually and thinking about how to use the gifts that we have," Fetzer said. "People giving to others will decrease anxiety and stress if you're doing things for others."

Whether you enjoy baking, scrapbooking, or singing, you can give the gift of your talents, she said. Maybe you can help others shop who may dislike shopping or are unable to get out on their own. If you have the gift of music, share it by singing at church, or go Christmas caroling. Volunteer at different places that need help, she suggested.

"There's so much more that they're good at doing that they could be helping others with," Fetzer said. "Sit down and think about 'what do I enjoy doing, what do I know I'm good at.' If you're struggling to create that list on your own, have a good friend or family member help identify some things others see in you."

Page 2 of 4 - Making a memory book, or putting together a video and celebrating good memories can help you deal with loss and changes this holiday season.

"When I think of the holidays, I think of people who struggle with grief and loss this time of year," Fetzer said. "They're struggling with someone who passed away or struggling with divorce in the family. A really unique gift is to create a scrapbook or a memory book."

Take a scrapbook when you visit a loved one in a nursing home, she said.

"You've got to really think about all the things that stress you or depress you about the holidays and think about doing something different," she said. "A lot of that is giving of your time. It's about giving, and people get lost in the materialism of gifting. It's really not about that. It's really using what your gifts are and using or creating something for someone else."

TAKE A WALK

Exercising, eating healthy and taking time for yourself are all important this time of the year.

"People need to think about prioritizing what things are healthy and good for you to partake in during the holidays, and what things to say 'not this year, that's just not good for me,'" Fetzer said. "Make sure you're still taking time for yourself. Part of anxiety and depression relates to not getting enough sleep, and not enough exercise."

Fetzer said food also contributes to how people feel emotionally. "We've got so many people struggling with alcoholism and they're in recovery or maybe they have a family member or friend in recovery. We have to think about how alcohol is too much of a focal part of the holidays and how that creates lots of holiday stress for lots of people," she said.

Fetzer recommends walking around the local Stark Parks and getting out to look at holiday decorations. Do a Secret Santa in the neighborhood and leave baked goods on neighbors' porches.

"This is the time of year people don't get outside because it's starting to get cold," she said. "Put on the coat and the boots. If it helps you to get outside, grab a kid and go out for a quick walk. It sparks those good chemicals in your brain. Nature and walking and breathing. Just to get outside is helpful for people."

Fetzer said people also should not feel pressured to fit everything into one month. Spread out activities and visiting out-of-towners throughout the year.

"Accept the fact you can have Christmas in July," she said.

POWER OF PRAYER

Some people find comfort in prayer. For a year, the National Shrine of St. Dymphna, the patron saint of those suffering from nervous diseases and mental and emotional disorders, has been at St. Mary Church on Cherry Road NE in Massillon.

Page 3 of 4 - According to www.natlshrinestdymphna.org, Dymphna was 14 when her mother died in the seventh century and her father, a pagan king, is said to have been afflicted with mental illness brought on by his grief. He had the idea to marry his own daughter and Dymphna fled. When she refused to return to Ireland with her father, he cut off her head with his sword.

"It's calm, safe and secure and it's more for everybody," said Paula Gretchko, office assistant and sacristan at St. Mary's.

The shrine originally was built about 75 years ago by Rev. Austin Skully to help thousands of patients at the state psychiatric hospital, which is now Heartland Behavioral Healthcare. Father Skully was there since 1938 and died Christmas Day 1953. He was replaced by Rev. Matthew Herttna who was the resident priest there for about 50 years. The votive shrine relocated to St. Mary's in November 2012 and a permanent shrine is being designed. The building was owned by the state and the health care center saw a decrease in population.

"The decision was made that the shrine had to move," she said. "The people at St. Mary's and the Diocese of Youngstown made the decision to put the shrine in St. Mary's."

People will write letters, email and call with prayers — or petitions — for themselves and loved ones. A few hundred candles are lit for people's petitions.

"Our phone rings all the time and they're really sad unbelievable problems," Gretchko said. "They'll call you with prayer requests. We have candles you can buy for a year and they say all kinds of things. They just keep going and going. It isn't just mental illness. She is the intercessor for people. She's in between us and God."

Mary Randles, office manager for the St. Dymphna Shrine, said busloads of people to see the shrine at St. Mary's have come from Pennsylvania, North Carolina and Canada.

"It's nice being here," Randles said. "The people can come on the weekends or a lot of people just come for the day. I had a girl come down from Parma last week. She just needed some prayer time with St. Dymphna. We have pilgrimages that come."

She said they have visitors year-round, but more visitors tend to come during the summer when weather is more conducive to travel. Two or three weeks ago, a woman visited the shrine praying for a miracle for a healing. She was just diagnosed with ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig's disease, and her father had just passed away from the disease. About a month ago, a man suffering from Alzheimer's said he felt much better after visiting the shrine, she said.

"She's (St. Dymphna's) become more well-known," Randles said. "We have testimonials. It's very humbling for us when we read them. There are times when we think we have problems and we read other people's letters."

Page 4 of 4 - Many people pray for a family member or friend with mental illness such as schizophrenia, obsessive compulsive disorder, or anxiety.

"Last week, we were getting calls about people not being able to sleep for days," Randles said. "Sometimes it's not as serious as others. People all are in need. ... It's a safe environment and everybody needs the intercession of the saints.

Now, find a quiet place, take a deep breath, and let it out slowly. Feel better?