Why do some lesbians choose to look like men?

We received this question the other day, and instead of snapping at the asker, I decided to write about it. Sometimes people are legitimately ignorant when it comes to lesbianism, and it’s important that we keep this space as non-judgmental as possible – even if it means biting our tongues.

So, why do some lesbians choose to look like men? First of all, they’re not choosing to look like men, per se. They’re simply choosing to embrace a style that’s traditionally more masculine. These lesbians often identify as “butch lesbians”, and it’s important to recognize that they aren’t interested in being any less “female”, they’re just interested in being a little less “feminine”.

Faith considers herself a soft butch. Without delving too deep into this label, it basically means that she prefers to wear pants and plaids than dresses and pantyhose. Why? Not because she wants to be a man, or even look like one. She chooses to dress the way she dresses because she happens to feel more comfortable in clothes that break the traditional heteronormative styles that we’ve grown accustomed to.

It’s easy to assume (and many people do), that some lesbians choose to look like men because they think it’ll make them more appealing to other lesbians. But here’s a newsflash for you: lesbians are attracted to women, not clothing. I’m not attracted to Faith because she dresses the way she does, or because she has short hair. In fact, if she decided tomorrow to buy a long wig and dress like Lady Gaga, I’d love her just the same.

And no matter what someone wears – jeans, heels, blouses, work boots, ball caps, beanies, fishnets or cardigans – their gender is still whatever the heck they want it to be.

The bottom line? A lesbian who chooses to rock a less feminine look isn’t interested in looking like a man. She’s interested in looking like the badass, unique individual that she is.