Wednesday, August 01, 2007

858pmmoved into the next phase of breaking nick back into his bedtime routine.....putting him to bed after doing all his bed time tasks - tub, jammies, teeth, books, hugs/kisses and off to bed with no fussing, mommy or daddy walking out and nick goes to sleep....not saying a word and putting him back into bed when and if he gets out.......

seriously is there any job in the whole wide world harder than being a parent?????

934pmi've been at it for over half an hour and think i have put him back in bed at least 60 times by now but it finally hit me - he has to realize no matter how many times he comes out, i will always be here - he has to realize this eventually and i guess then he will stay in bed...he is walking himself back to his room, climbing back up in the bed and getting to his pillow each time but it is much slower each time as i'm sure he is exhausted by now, i know i am.....eventually he has to stop right???????

please make this stop.....if i were to guess, i'm definitely up to over a hundred put back to beds by now.....and of course my husband who promised he would let me do it my way and give me support is downstairs mumbling and grumbling about all the crying and back and forth and how this isn't working....he has not idea how hearing his comments and nick's crying is killing me......

i don't even get to the other end of the hall to type at the computer before nick is back out of bed crying to me in the hallway....he has to be getting tired right???? i'm trying soooo hard to follow the steps of the process i read about...don't talk to them, don't show attention, don't look him in the eyes - but seriously how much of this can one person takes?????

953pmwell now he is screaming for me from his bed, but not coming out....this is progress right?????he has to be absolutely exhausted.....please please please tell me he is out of bed for the last time tonight!!!!! i am so pissed at my husband, that as soon as nick falls asleep, i'm going right to bed....not even going back downstairs.....i feel so alone in this process....nope not in bed for the night i guess, here he is again.....

959pmit has now been just over an hour and i just broke the rules.....i gave him a big when i put him back in bed and whispered quietly that i am always right in the other room....that every time he has come out haven't i always been right there and brought him right back to bed? i don't ever go away, i'm always right here...yeah that didn't go over well....now when he comes out he is crying harder and coming all the way to me at the computer.....before he would stand in the hallway and wait for me to come...now he is coming all the way to me....but thank god he is walking himself back to his room each time....i wouldn't be able to lift him all this time with my belly as big as it is and my back as sore as it is....not sure how much more of this i can take!!!!!!!!!!!!

does this really work??????????????????????????at this point i seriously do not think this is going to work......he has to be sooooo tired....i know i am........OMG....PLEASE HELP ME!!!!! okay i'm now done covering him up...it has been way over an hour now.....and he is still going......what should i do??????????????

okay so i started just pretty much throwing or dropping him lightly into bed for the last few minutes instead of letting him climb into bed and helping him adjust his blankets and such.....i just am at my wit's end......this time he just asked me to turn the light on in the bathroom even though the door was closed....i quietly said, if you stay in bed and go to sleep i will turn it on....if you get out of bed again i will turn it back off....do you hear me???? he said yes and i turned the light on....now he is moaning in his bed but not coming back out....i'm going to go give him a kiss goodnight and remind him i'm still here.....okay probably not the best idea, now he is crying harder for me since i kissed him and told him goodnight, i'm right here......okay so now he is crying but not hard but is still calling to me - BUT staying in his bed....he seriously has to just realize that i am STILL RIGHT HERE.......

1037pmwell he has been in bed now for over 4 minutes without getting out....still calling out to me and crying strongly but is staying in bed.....i have been in twice to praise him for staying in bed and to remind him i am right here, close your eyes and go to sleep.....are we actually near the end???? oh yeah, my husband came up and went right to our bedroom and closed the door, he didn't interfere or interrupt what i am doing and for that i am very thankful....i know how hard it is on him to hear nick cry like this...it breaks my heart and i'm sure it kills him since he can't do anything to help since he promised to let me do this my way.....for that i am very thankful and have to make sure i do thank him.....i just went in again to reassure nick i'm still here and i just asked mike to go in and give him a hug and a kiss but not to talk to him so he realizes daddy is still here to.....this actually might work tonight with a little modification to the process.....okay so daddy gave a kiss and a hug, no crying since before he went in there.....

1048pm - just 10 minutes shy of 2 hoursnick is finally asleep, he must have fallen asleep after daddy checked on him....man, i don't want to do this again tomorrow night.....god give me the strength....please make me strong and remind me i am a good mother even if this was one of the most horrible experiences of my short time being a mother......

i'll post again tomorrow during night #2 stay in bed technique in the keeley house....