The legendary question: Do dogs have lips?It's the one question we're guaranteed to ask.

JURASSIC
5'S CUT CHEMIST (MUSICIAN)
Vinnie Baggadonuts: Do dogs have lips?Cut Chemist: Well if they did, they could whistle.
Couldn't they?
V: So are you saying yes or no?C: No. They don't.
V: Thank you. (Turns and looks smugly at Wayne
Chinsang, who believes dogs do indeed have lips.)C: He thinks they do? (Points to Wayne)
V: We ask everyone, and, like, Bo Diddley thinks
they do.C: You asked Bo Diddley?
V: Yeah. Everyone we interview, we ask 'em if
dogs have lips.Read the entire
interview

BO
DIDDLEY (MUSICIAN)
Debbie: Do dogs have lips?Bo Diddley: I think a dog's got lips. They
got teeth just like anybody else. And a rooster
got teeth, too. (laughs)Read the
entire interview

JIM
BREUER (COMEDIAN)
Darby OGill: Do dogs have lips?Jim Breuer: Well whatever
they have, they use it to sniff other dog's rear
ends. (laughs) Yeah, they have lips.

UNTAPPED
TALENT: JON BENNETT (ZOOASS.COM PRESIDENT)
Cornelius Caution: Do dogs have lips?Jon Bennett: Of course. The purpose of lips
is to stop drool from running out of your mouth.
If dogs didn't have lips you would find thousands
of dog owners drowned in pools of their dog's
saliva.

KING
DJANGO (MUSICIAN)
Vinnie Baggadonuts: Do dogs have lips?King Django: Of course they do. So do chickens,
if you soak 'em long enough.

G.
LOVE (MUSICIAN)
Tina Wells: In your amateur opinion, do you think
dogs have lips?G. Love: (long pause) Yeah. Dogs have lips.
T: And your reason?G: Well, there's the fur and then there's the
inside of the lip and the ridge along the bottom.
That's the lip.Read the
entire interview

ANTHONY
CLARK (COMEDIAN)
Darby OGill: Do dogs have lips?Anthony Clark: No. I don't think they do. They
have jowls. It's the best part to play with on
any big dog. The sides of the mouth, where it
hangs down; especially on pit bulls. But be careful.
Don't feed them marshmallows,.. with your mouth.Read
the entire interview

ANDI
WATSON (ILLUSTRATOR)
Cans McKenzey: Do dogs have lips?Andi Watson: If they do, why are they such
crappy kissers? And they always slip you the tongue.
Have you ever noticed that?
C: I'll take your word on that one.Read
the entire interview

UNTAPPED
TALENT: PHILLIP GREGORY (ILLUSTRATOR)
Debbie: Are there dogs in the Darklanders world?Phillip Gregory: There probably are dog-like
creatures somewhere.
D: Alright. In your amateur opinion, do those
dog-like creatures have lips?P: (laughs) Um, there is a breed of Darklanders dogs that do have lips.
D: Just this one breed?P: Yes.
D: So the other breeds don't?P: That's right.
D: Wow. That's like a half-and-half answer. I
don't think we've ever gotten one of those before.P: Cool.Read
the entire interview

HARLAND
WILLIAMS (COMEDIAN)
Darby OGill: Do dogs have lips?Harland Williams: Hell yeah!
D: Do hot-dogs have lips?H: Hot-dogs are made of lips. And
assholes.Read
the entire interview

ELVIRA
(MISTRESS OF THE DARK)
Cap'n Booty: Do you think dogs have lips?Elvira: They do. I know they do.
C: How do you know?E: Because I have kissed many.Read
the entire interview

KATHY
GRIFFIN (COMEDIENNE)
Darby OGill: Do dogs have lips?Kathy Griffin: Well, I'm obsessed with my dogs.
We have two dogs, and I know they smile when they're
good boys! But are they lips? I don't know if
dogs do, but I do know Kenneth Branagh
doesn't. I don't know if you've ever noticed that.
He doesn't really have lips. He just kind of has
a hole in his head that is his mouth. Read
the entire interview

THOSE
DARN ACCORDIONS' PAUL
ROGERS (MUSICIAN)
Bethany Shady: In your opinion, do dogs have lips?Paul Rogers: I can actually talk about that
a little bit because we just got a dog named Oscar.
The dog sleeps in my bed and I'll wake up in the
morning and there's Oscar's face right in front
of mine. I wouldn't say that they're lips so much;
just sort of the end of the mouth. I would have
to say no, dogs don't have lips. Read
the entire interview

UNTAPPED
TALENT: DAVE McCREARY (MAGICIAN)
Funk Amphibian: In your magical opinion, do dogs
have lips?Dave McCreary: (laughing) I was making out
with my dog the other day, and I swear he had
lips. But I could be wrong. He used a lot of tongue,
so I may have mistaken tongue for lips.Read
the entire interview

SHIA
LaBEOUF (ACTOR)
Bethany Shady: In your opinion, do dogs have lips?Shia LaBeouf: Yes. My dog has lips. I think
they have lips because when I always chill with
my dog, I always mess with the lip. You know,
when you suck on the bottom lip of the dog. I
know everybody does it. Don't deny it, people. Read
the entire interview

MIKE
MIGNOLA (ILLUSTRATOR)
Debbie: Do you think dogs have lips?Mike Mignola: Yes.
D: You do? Excellent! Is there any reason why?M: Because I had a dog and he had things that
were kinda like lips.Read
the entire interview

UNTAPPED
TALENT: ANDY CLARKSON (ILLUSTRATOR)
Cans McKenzey: Do you think dogs have lips?Andy Clarkson: Oh, of course.
C: We always ask that question. It's kind of our
"claim to fame" question, so stop looking
at me like that.A: What's the general consensus?
C: It seems that most people agree that they do.
I once called a veterinarian and he said they
did. They're called mandibles.A: Dogs have mandibles, then.Read
the entire interview

TENACIOUS
D'S KYLE GASS (MUSICIAN/COMEDIAN)
Darby OGill: In your professional opinion,
do dogs have lips?Kyle Gass: No, I don't think so. I think they
have more of a sort of jowly thing.Read
the entire interview

HARRY
SHEARER (ACTOR/DIRECTOR/RADIO HOST)
Bethany Shady: Do dogs have lips?Harry Shearer: Well, I'm trying to visualize
my dog, who does not have anything resembling
lips. But my last dog used to bare his teeth when
he felt guilty, and it looked like he had a little
bit of lip curl when he'd do that. So I'm going
to say it depends on the breed.
B: So which breed did you have that had lips,
and which one didnt?H: Well, the lippy guy was a purebred black
lab, and the non-lippy guy is a yellow lab and
husky mix.
B: So it's depending on the breed.H: That's what I think. I mean, I don't know
if they judge that at the Westminster Dog Show.
"Let's go for the lipped breeds and the non-lipped
breeds."Read
the entire interview

THE
DISTILLERS' BRODY
ARMSTRONG (MUSICIAN)
Debbie: This is our staple question. We ask everybody
this. Do dogs have lips?Brody Armstrong: Do dogs have lips?
D: We got into an argument years ago, and it's
just gone on since then.B: I think they do. Just really little, real
thin ones.
D: Hell yes.B: They gotta have something over their teeth.
They lick their lips. I think they do. I think
you're right.Read
the entire interview

JOE
ROGAN (COMEDIAN)
Darby OGill: Do dogs have lips?Joe Rogan: Yes. Absolutely. You know how I
know that?
D: How?J: Because when you have pit bulls, sometimes
they go crazy and bite shit. They get what's called
lipped. That's when their teeth go
through their lips. And you have to get it out,
and the way to get it out is with a pencil.Read
the entire interview

RENÉE
FRENCH (ILLUSTRATOR)
Debbie: I'm of the opinion that dogs have lips.
Do you agree?Renée French: Yes! They definitely have
lips! I love dog lips. And when dogs get older,
they start to gray around the lip area and it
makes them even more lip-like.
D: Do you think my question about dog lips is
stupid?R: Uh, no.
D: Well, even though it's a mainstay of our interviews,
some of the staff members think the question has
run its course. I'm pro-dog lips, and glad you
are, too. R: It's one of the best questions I've heard
in a long time.Read
the entire interview

LIZ
McGRATH (ARTIST)
Debbie: Do you think dogs have lips?Liz McGrath: Yes. I'm looking at my dog right
now. She looks like she has black lips around
her mouth.
D: (to Wayne Chinsang, as he walks into the room)
She says they have lips.Wayne Chinsang: Good.Read
the entire interview

MARK
BUEHNER (ILLUSTRATOR)
César: You've had a lot of practice drawing
dogs with Maxi, The Hero. So, in your professional
opinion, do dogs have lips?Mark Buehner: (laughter) It depends if they're
talking to you or not. Sometimes you want to give
it a little human look. So yes, you could toss
in some lips with those dogs. Even chickens have lips.Read
the entire interview

FRANK
OZ (PERFORMER/DIRECTOR)
Wayne Chinsang: In your amateur opinion, do dogs
have lips?Frank Oz: Yes, but you can't see them. They're
internal lips. They will show them to other dogs,
but you will never see them.Read
the entire interview

PAULY
SHORE (COMEDIAN)
Darby OGill: Do dogs have lips?Pauly Shore: It depends on where you find the
dog. I mean, if you find it in the USA, definitely.
If you find it over in Japan, they probably don't
have lips.Read
the entire interview

DJ
SPOOKY aka PAUL MILLER (MUSICIAN)
Debbie: Nine out of ten dentists recommend that
you use Crest toothpaste. With that in mind, do
you think dogs have lips?DJ Spooky: Yeah, definitely. It seems obvious.
They have that black thing that marks the sides.
D: Amen.Read
the entire interview

UNTAPPED
TALENT: FAREL DALRYMPLE (ILLUSTRATOR)
Debbie: In your masterful opinion, do dogs have
lips?Farel Dalrymple: Yeah. I think they do, actually.
When I think of a dog's face, I see a little lighter
skinned area where the fur stops, before you get
to the gums and the teeth. That, to me, is a lip.
D: Good answer.Read
the entire interview

RICKY
POWELL (PHOTOGRAPHER)
Debbie: For the record, in your amateur opinion,
do dogs have lips?Ricky Powell: Yes, definitely. I like to kiss
dogs. I got no problem with that.Read
the entire interview

THE
MIGHTY BLUE KINGS' ROSS BON (MUSICIAN)
Wayne Chinsang: In your amateur opinion, do dogs
have lips?Ross Bon: Yeah, absolutely. When they're a
puppy and don't really have teeth yet, they have
to have lips.
W: Yeah, and they have to have something to cover
their teeth. That's their lips.R: Exactly.Read
the entire interview

DAVE
HOLMES (VJ)
Darby OGill: We here at tastes like
chicken have an ongoing question, and we
were hoping you could take a crack at it.Dave Holmes: Oh boy!
D: Do dogs have lips?D: They do! Big black ones. Which is really
weird, because I actually asked that question
to myself, when I had a dog as a child. I looked
at this dog's mouth and was like, "What the
hell is going on there?" So one day I just
tackled him and went into a headlock. So, yeah:
big black lips with weird gums.Read
the entire interview

COREY
FELDMAN (ACTOR/MUSICIAN)
Tina Wells: In your opinion, do dogs have lips?Corey Feldman: (laughs) Do dogs have lips?
Um, definitely not. A lip would be something it
could pucker.Read
the entire interview

BRUCE
CAMPBELL (ACTOR)
Frank Putzerelli: Do dogs have lips?Bruce Campbell: I don't know. I never kissed
one.Read
the entire interview

TONY
HAWK (PRO SKATER)
Neogeo The Prophet: In your opinion, do dogs have
lips?Tony Hawk: Mine does. But they are nasty.Read
the entire interview

UNTAPPED
TALENT: MANDY COOK (ARTIST)
Tina Wells: In your amateur opinion, do dogs have
lips?Mandy Cook: I believe they do, because I have
two dogs that kiss me all the time.Read
the entire interview

GOTTFRIED
HELNWEIN (ARTIST)
Wayne Chinsang: In your amateur opinion, do dogs
have lips?Gottfried Helnwein: (laughs) Oh my god! The
good thing is this is a question I've never been
asked before. Do dogs have lips? I think so. I
have four dogs. I've never kissed them on the
lips, but I think they have lips.Read
the entire interview

UNTAPPED
TALENT: THE JOHNSON BROTHERS (MUSICIANS)
Debbie: Do dogs have lips?Doug: They can smile. My dog smiles.
Theyve got chicken lips.
Curtis: Theyve got pussy lips!
D: You ever see anybody with really thin lips?
Like Gary from Knots Landing? My mom
was always like, Hes got chicken lips.
Yeah. Dogs have lips.
C: Yeah, dogs have lips.
Aaron: What was the question?
D: In your professional opinion, do dogs have
lips?A: No. Dogs do not have lips.
Wade: Aw, bitch, whatever! (calling to his own
dog, Shelby) There's a dog right there!
A: It doesn't have lips.
D: But they smile.
A: That doesn't mean they have lips. It means
they have teeth.
W: (gesturing to Shelby's mouth/snout region)
Look. What is this?
A: That's not really a lip. That's a mouth.
C: Ask her! Shelby, do you have lips?
Shelby: ...Read
the entire interview

BOB
BARKER (GAME SHOW HOST)
Wayne Chinsang: In your amateur opinion, do dogs
have lips?Bob Barker: I can tell you that I'd rather
be kissed by my dogs than by some people I've
known.Read
the entire interview

BELLE
AND SEBASTIAN'S MICK
COOKE (MUSICIAN)
Frank Putzerelli: Do dogs have lips? Mick Cooke: You'd have to ask my girlfriend.
She's a vet. And I can be an animal sometimes,
so it helps.Read the
entire interview

UNTAPPED
TALENT: S.P.O.C.K'S ANDROID (MUSICIAN)
Spacey Headcase: Do dogs have lips?Android: Does it matter? I don't intend to
kiss 'em! And I hope nobody else feels some weird
urge to do it either.

LAIKA'S GUY
FIXSEN (MUSICIAN)
Tina Wells: In your amateur opinion, do dogs have
lips?Guy Fixsen: I'd have to say yes because I am
sure they can kiss people, although I have never
kissed a dog before.

KEVIN
POLLAK (ACTOR)
Darby OGill: In your professional opinion,
do dogs have lips?Kevin Pollak: Well, I don't know if it would
be a professional opinion. That would
suggest that I've worked with dogs. In my personal
opinion, um,.. Jesus. I can't believe I'm taking
time to try and answer this. You know what? Who
fuckin' cares?Read
the entire interview

DENIS
LEARY (COMEDIAN/ACTOR)
Wayne Chinsang: In your amateur opinion, do dogs
have lips?Denis Leary: Do dogs have lips? No.
W: You're one of the first people to say no.D: I've got four dogs and I don't think any
of them have lips. And I don't think I've ever
had a dog with lips.
W: Fair enough.Read
the entire interview

BOBCAT
GOLDTHWAIT (COMEDIAN/ACTOR)
Darby OGill: In your professional opinion,
do dogs have lips?Bobcat Goldthwait: In my professional opinion? (laughs) Uh, yeah, dogs definitely have
lips. My dog, Jimmy Stewart, definitely has lips.
D: Your dog's name is Jimmy Stewart?B: Yeah. I used to have a dog named Sid Vicious,
but coyotes ate him.Read
the entire interview

RUPAUL
(ACTOR/ACTRESS/MUSICIAN/MODEL)
Wayne Chinsang: In your amateur opinion, do you
think dogs have lips?RuPaul: Yes.
W: Why?R: So that they can kiss other dogs. And so
that after they sniff another dog's ass, they
can kiss it. I've seen dog's lips. Which set of
lips are you talking about?
W: It's open to interpretation.R: Because I have two sets of lips. (laughs)Read
the entire interview

UNTAPPED
TALENT: JERAL TIDWELL (ARTIST)
Realtoon: Do dogs have lips?Jeral Tidwell: Hell yeah! Have you ever French-kissed
a dog?
R: Not lately.J: They have lips. Trust me.Read
the entire interview

ROBERT
SCHIMMEL (COMEDIAN)
Darby OGill: Do dogs have lips?Robert Schimmel: Yes.
Melissa (Roberts girlfriend): They do?R: Well, it's not just gums; otherwise it would
just be teeth showing.
M: But dogs don't have lips like,.. I mean, these are lips. (pointing to her lips)R: Those are human lips.
M: Well, yeah. But dogs don't have lips like that.
It's just--R: Okay! What am I, a fucking zoologist?Read
the entire interview

UNTAPPED
TALENT: EDDIE GOSSLING (COMEDIAN)
Darby OGill: Do dogs have lips?Eddie Gossling: Yeah, I guess, technically,
they do. The lip is between the face and the mouth,
before it becomes the inside of the mouth. Even
if there is no "lippy" material, I think
it still would technically be called the lip.
I'm going to say yes! Dogs do have lips.Read
the entire interview

DAVID
CROSS (COMEDIAN)
Darby OGill: In your professional opinion,
do dogs have lips?David Cross: Professionally, no. But, just
as a person speaking outside of the profession,
yes.Read
the entire interview

SHEPARD
FAIREY (ARTIST)
Vinnie Baggadonuts: Okay, I have to ask you a
really bizarre question now, because it's our
trademark question. It's a very selfish thing
for us.Shepard Fairey: (laughs)
V: Do dogs have lips?S: Um, yeah. They do. I used to always look
at the inside of my dogs mouth. I was sure
he had lips, but I wasn't sure what was going
on with his gums, like why the tongue and the
gums weren't the same color. That was the thing
I was curious about. Right where that fur part
ends and the skin begins, that's the lips. They're
thin. They're tight-lipped, but I think they have
lips.
V: I'm so disappointed.S: (laughs)
V: I'm convinced that they don't, and I'm so in
the minority. S: Well, I'm convinced they have lips. They're
not too meaty, not too chunky. I don't know if
they can pucker. Only in cartoons.Read
the entire interview

TOM
KENNY (ACTOR/VOICE TALENT)
Nigel Shady: Do you think dogs have lips?Tom Kenny: Yeah. I think they do. Because sometimes
a car will drive past me with a dog's head flapping
out of the window, and I hear a flapping noise,
and it just has to be lips. I think that's
what those things flapping in the breeze are.
But some dogs are more lippy than others.Read
the entire interview

JILL
THOMPSON (ILLUSTRATOR)
April May June Marie Lamar: Do doggies have lips?Jill Thompson: Yeah. They have black, rubbery
lips.
A: Poop. Thats what everyone else says,
but I dont think so.Read
the entire interview

LEWIS
BLACK (COMEDIAN)
Darby OGill: Do dogs have lips?Lewis Black: Well, the last time I french kissed
a pooch, I wasn't really sure. We were both just
so hot for each other.Read
the entire interview

THE
BETA BAND'S RICHARD
GREENTREE (MUSICIAN)
Wayne Chinsang: We ask everyone this: Do you think
dogs have lips?Richard Greentree: Um,.. (pauses) yeah. They
prefer to use their tongues, but they do have
lips. I saw one without lips once when I was lost
somewhere in Europe. There was a dog in the square
where I was sleeping and he came up to me. He
looked like quite a nice dog, and I just figured
that he was a stray that wanted to hang around
for a few days. So he came up to me and he looked
normal on one side, but then he turned his head
the other way and he had both lips missing. It
looked like a permanent grin on his face. It was
really fucking scary. I had to send it away.
Fphatty Lamar: He was probably a war vet. R: Yeah. But he had something bitten off that
I would describe as a lip. So I would say yes,
dogs do have lips.
W: Good. I also think they do, but she doesnt.
(points to Fphatty)
F: They cant drink thru straws.R: Yeah, but they can kiss though.
F: They kiss with their tongue.R: Do they?
F: Yes.R: How many dogs have you kissed?
W: Dont ask. (laughs)Read
the entire interview

FLOGGING
MOLLY'S DAVE KING (MUSICIAN)
Vinnie Baggadonuts: I'm gonna let you go, because
I know you have shit to do, but I have one last
question.Dave King: Absolutely.
V: It's our staple question: do dogs have lips? D: Do they have lips? Well, you know what?
My dog does something I've never seen another
dog do, which makes me believe they do have lips.
When I come in after having been gone for a while,
he runs to the door, and he lifts these things,
and he shows his teeth, like he's smiling! It's
fucking hilarious. He puts his lips up and he
shakes his head. He shows me all his teeth! I
think my dog has lips. Especially when I'm kissing
him. He definitely gives me a bit of lip. I slip
him the tongue, but he just gives me lip.
BOTH: (laughing)D: I love my dog. He's the fucking best. The
bastard.Read
the entire interview

JASON
LEE (ACTOR)
Wayne Chinsang: Do dogs have lips?Jason Lee: Well, they must. Cause theyre
all pretty damn good at licking their own balls
and then smackin them lips when theyre
done.Read
the entire interview

UNTAPPED
TALENT: CHRISTA DONNER (ARTIST)
Debbie: Last question: Do you think dogs have
lips?Christa Donner: Wow. Ya know, it depends on
how you define lips. My cat doesn't have lips. She has one lip.
D: She does?C: Yeah, the one on the bottom. So maybe dogs
have one lip on the bottom. I haven't seen one
lately. (laughing) It's hard to say.Read
the entire interview

AIMEE
BENDER (AUTHOR)
Vinnie Baggadonuts: This is a question we ask
everyone we interview. It's all based on a friendly
debate that started late one night three years
ago or so: Do dogs have lips?Aimee Bender: Doesn't it depend on the dog
type? Maybe not. They have such fabulous gums,
maybe it sort of takes over the lip part. I think
I'll vote no.Read
the entire interview

UNTAPPED
TALENT: JAY MUELLER (ARTIST)
Darby OGill: Do dogs have lips?Jay Mueller: Well, I know they definitely have
tongues. I would say yes, dogs do have lips.Read
the entire interview

GEORGE
GRAY (GAME SHOW HOST)
Darby OGill: Do dogs have lips?George Gray: You are a pervert. Next question.Read
the entire interview

UNTAPPED
TALENT: FORMER FACTORY (DESIGN HOUSE)
Vinnie Baggadonuts: And lastly, because I know
you boys want it: do dogs have lips?Nand Dussault: Absolutely. Otherwise they couldn't
whistle. Because dogs can whistle, right? A wolf
is a canine, right? And they always whistled in
cartoons, right? Guys? Andy? Vinnie? Where are
you guys going? I'm not finished yet--Read
the entire interview

MIKE
DOUGHTY (MUSICIAN)
Wayne Chinsang: Do dogs have lips?Mike Doughty: (pauses) I dont believe
they have lips.
W: You dont?M: I dont think they have lips.
W: Why is that?M: (laughs) I dont know why!
You think I know why? I dont know
why they have no lips. They just dont.Read
the entire interview

PETER
BILLINGSLEY (ACTOR/PRODUCER)
Wayne Chinsang: In your amateur opinion, do you
think dogs have lips?Peter Billingsley: (pauses) All dogs have lips.
W: Thank you. P: Whats your opinion?
W: Thats what I say. P: Absolutely. People say, Give me a
kissy, dont they?
W: And dogs are able to howl.P: Ive seen dogs smile. Are
you a dog or cat guy?
W: Dog guy.P: Same here.
W: I bought a black lab a couple months ago. Unfortunately,
my fucking asshole landlord said I couldnt
have her, so I had to return her. But luckily
my girlfriend bought it back. Now it lives with
her.P: So now you have visitation rights? (laughs)
W: (laughs) Yeah. I have to pay puppy support.Read
the entire interview

JAMES
GUNN (ACTOR/WRITER/DIRECTOR)
Wayne Chinsang: According to your bio on imdb.com
you have a dog named Aubrey.James Gunn: Shes dead. (laughs) She was
my total heart, but she died last year after a
long struggle with a liver disease. I had to feed
her through a syringe six times a day.
W: Im so sorry. (laughs)J: No, thats alright. I think about it
all the time.
W: Well, I was going to ask you if Aubrey had
lips, but--J: Absolutely. They have black lips. Theres
no doubt about it.
W: The argument started a while back with friends,
and the group was split. So we decided to start
asking people we interview. J: Well, I think I can say as an absolute fact,
that anyone that says dogs dont have lips
is a total fucking asshole. (laughs)
W: (laughs) And I can say as an absolute fact,
that Im glad I can quote you on that.Read
the entire interview

UNTAPPED
TALENT: SCOTT WILKOWSKI (TOY SCULPTOR)
Debbie: Now, for our staple question: not including
Smoke Dog, have you ever sculpted a dog before?Scott Wilkowski: I don't think so.
D: Well, if you did sculpt a dog, would
you sculpt it with lips?S: I think definitely. I think that dogs have
lips. (laughs)
D: Word! (turning to Wayne) He thinks that dogs
have lips!
Wayne Chinsang: (sorting through CDs) Of course.S: (laughing) I've seen the website.
D: Did you vote on The Dog Lip Poll?S: Yup. I voted. I let my voice be heard.Read
the entire interview

SCOTT
MORSE (ILLUSTRATOR)
Jim Mahfood: Finally, do dogs have lips?Scott Morse: They do have lips. I was just
looking at my dogs lips. He's actually been
working on forming consonants with his lips.
J: Really?S: Yeah. He's got certain consonants and most
vowels down. But it's funny to see him try to
form an "o" with his lips. But that's
how I know a dog has lips-- when he's trying to
form an "o".
J: That's amazing.Read
the entire interview

MIKE
KENEALLY (MUSICIAN)
Night Watchman: One final question that we like
to ask people: do you think dogs have lips?Mike
Keneally: Dogs?
N: Yeah.M: No,.. no. (laughs)
N: You can elaborate if you want.M:
No. I don't feel I will elaborate. (laughs)Read the entire
interview

CHRIS
MURRAY (MUSICIAN)
Vinnie Baggadonuts: You wouldn't happen to study
dogs, would you? Because we have this running
debate here, as to whether or not dogs have lips.
We ask everyone. What's your take on the subject?Chris Murray: I don't really study dogs,
but I do have a couple and I just checked them
out. It seems like mine have lower lips, but not
upper lips. Perhaps it's not correct to say that
dogs have lips, but that a dog has a lip.Read
the entire interview

CHYNNA
CLUGSTON-MAJOR (COMIC BOOK ARTIST)
Debbie: If your character, Bleu, had a dog, would
that dog have lips?Chynna Clugston-Major: No. It'd be a boy. Read
the entire interview

MINISTRY'S
AL JOURGENSEN (MUSICIAN)
Rutherford G. Van Delay: Do dogs have lips?Al Jourgensen: YES, OF COURSE. NOW I ASK
YOU THIS BACK: DOES A POPE SHIT IN THE WOODS?
IS THE BEAR CATHOLIC?Read
the entire interview

THE
JON SPENCER BLUES EXPLOSION'S JUDAH BAUER (MUSICIAN)
Rutherford G. Van Delay: Okay, I don’t know
if you’ve been to our website or not--Judah
Bauer: Yeah, I have.
R: Cool. So then you know about our staple question:
Do dogs have lips?J: (pauses) I don’t know, man. They
can kiss, so I assume they’ve got lips.Read
the entire interview

BILL
SIENKIEWICZ (COMIC BOOK ARTIST)
Night Watchman: And now a question that we like
to ask all the people we interview. I know you're
more of a cat person than a dog person, right?Bill
Sienkiewicz: Both. My best friend is a kid with
a dog. I love both.
N: Okay. We always ask the people we interview
if they believe that dogs have lips.B: Do I think dogs have lips?
N: Yeah.B: Well, they certainly have masses of
muscles that they can contract and pull back.
Um,.. yeah. They're not lips like monkeys, but,..
yeah, I guess so. That's a very bizarre question.
Why do you ask? I'm curious. (laughs)
N: It started as a debate at tastes like chicken,
so we started asking everybody and keep a running
tally.B: Interesting. I wonder what they would
do if they had them like we do? Yeah,.. it's an
interesting thought. (laughs)Read
the entire interview

UNTAPPED
TALENT: JAY RYAN (ARTIST)
Vinnie Baggadonuts: Alright, last question. We
ask everyone this. Check out the site if you think
I’m lying. As a man who draws dogs every
now and then, in your professional artistic opinion,
do they have lips?Jay
Ryan: I have consulted my roommate, Seth the Greyhound,
and after grabbing his head and feeling around
for a while, I can say in all certainty, that
yes, they do. Otherwise the fur wouldn't know
when to stop growing, and would grow right up
onto the dog's gums. Read
the entire interview

MC
PAUL BARMAN (MUSICIAN) Debbie:
Do you think dogs have lips?Paul Barman: Yes.
D: They do? Do you have any proof or evidence?P: Well, they’ve got a mouth, don’t
they? That’s not a beak.Read
the entire interview

UNTAPPED
TALENT: THE TOSSERS' DAN
SHAW (MUSICIAN)Vinnie
Baggadonuts: Do dogs have lips?Dan Shaw: (pauses) I,.. that’s a
weird question. I want to say ‘yes’,
but I think that’s just an exterior gum.
You know, you can make them gnarl and stuff. But
that looks more like an actual gumline. If I have to say an answer, I guess I’ll say ‘yes’.
V: They do have lips? D: Yes.
V: See, we called a veterinarian, and he said
the same thing. But I still don’t buy it.D: Ah,.. what are you gonna do?Read
the entire interview

MARTIN
MILLAR (AUTHOR) Smokin'
Joe Blow: Do dogs have lips? Martin Millar: I have never been close
enough to one to check. I don't like dogs.Read
the entire interview

VICTOR
RICE (MUSICIAN)
Vinnie Baggadonuts: Now, before we end this, let's
get serious for a second. For the last four years,
we've had a running argument here at the paper,
regarding dogs and their lips,.. or lack thereof.
I'm not kidding-- we even called a vet. You've
seen dogs in NY, you've seen dogs in Brazil. In
your traveled opinion, do dogs have lips? And
if so, are they different in the states than they
are in Brazil?Victor
Rice: Okay, I've consulted with Pascoal, an enormous
boxer who lives at the studio here and oversees
all of my work. I've also consulted with Luka
and Paco, sibling golden labs who look after my
human friend Rodrigo. First: they all agree that
dogs are the same all around the world. That is,
boxers are boxers, labs are labs, and toy poodles
are actually deformed cats, lacking a particular
gland in the cerebrum that makes cats smarter
than humans. Dogs have lips. Lips being a membranous
border surrounding the mouth. What they don't
have is the muscular infrastructure that makes
it possible to pucker up and whistle. If they
had that, Pascoal tells me, they wouldn't come
running every time their human whistled for them--
they'd simply whistle back to let them know they're
fine.Read
the entire interview

STEPHEN
LYNCH (COMEDIAN/MUSICIAN)
Night Watchman: Well, to wrap up, we always ask
everybody this question: do dogs have lips?Stephen Lynch: (laughs) Um,.. having had
much experience in making out with them, I would
say yes. Definitely! Interesting question.
N: Yeah. We always ask that one.S:
I get asked that all the time.N:
Yeah. It's such a cliche, but we have to ask.Read the entire
interview

WALLY
GAGEL (MUSICIAN/PRODUCER)
Wayne Chinsang: Do dogs have lips?Wally Gagel: (laughs) Do dogs have lips?
I would say,.. yes.
W: Good. That’s what I think.W: Although, there are certain breeds
of dogs that have more lips than others, you know?
Like a bulldog,.. you’d have to admit that
it has some big lips. (laughs)
W: (laughs) Yeah.W: Or a boxer. But then a German shepherd,
maybe not. (laughs) So I’ll clarify it.
There are certain breeds with lips,.. (laughing)
W: ...and breeds without lips. (laughs)W: Exactly. (laughs) Read the entire
interview

ROB
SCHRAB (COMIC ARTIST/SCREENWRITER/DIRECTOR)
Jim Mahfood: That’s the best way to do it.
And, finally, do dogs have lips?Rob Schrab: (laughs) Do dogs have lips?
I don’t think dogs have lips, do they?
J: This is a reoccurring question with tastes
like chicken interviews.R: I don’t think dogs have lips,
because they can’t kiss you. They don’t
pucker. They can’t whistle. Did I answer
right?
J: There’s no correct answer, yet. It hasn’t
scientifically been proven, either way. It’s
just a question that they have everybody ask at
the end of an interview: “Do dogs have lips?”
People have a different response every time.R: Do most people say they do?
J: I think most people say, “Yeah. They
do have lips.” They have some sort of gum
above the teeth. I don’t know.R:
And that’s considered a lip? Okay.J:
Either way, there’s no wrong answer.Read the entire
interview

ATMOSPHERE'S
MR. DIBBS (TURNTABLIST)
"Eggplant" Stan Wenches: Hey, one quick
question for everybody. I gotta ask this for the
magazine. Do dogs have lips?
Brother Ali: Eyedea French kisses his dog on the
mouth for 20 minutes, every day.Dibbs: Dogs do not have lips. Dogs do not have lips.
E: I think dogs have lips. They got big ‘ol
saggy lips.D: They got flaps.
B: That depends on the dog. If it’s a caucasian
dog, it’s probably not gonna have any lips.
E: (laughs)D:
Baloney lips on the caucasian dog.Read
the entire interview

THE
BROTHERS CHAPS AND STRONG BAD (ARTISTS/CARTOON)
Wayne Chinsang: Okay, last question: do dogs have
lips.Mike Chapman: I say yes.
W: Why?Mike: (laughs) Um,...
W: There’s no right answer here, so you
could totally say anything.Mike: Well, what else would you call that
thing that flaps in the wind when they put their
head out the window?
W: That’s what I say, too.Mike: That’s their lips.
W: Matt, what do you think?Matt Chapman: I think I’m going
with no lips. Because they can stick out their
tongues, but they can’t go flphhhhtt! I
think that’s an important thing to do. I
think that’s an important way to express
that you have lips.
W: (laughs)Matt: I mean, monkeys can do it. Monkeys
can definitely make fart noises. But dogs can’t
make fart noises.
W: Someone said they couldn’t sip a drink
through a straw, so that’s why they don’t
have lips.Mike: But that just might mean that the
muscles around their lips are,.. you know.
W: Well, someone said that they don’t think
they even have muscles in their lips.
And I think that person is full of shit. (laughs)Matt: (laughs)
W: So, what does Strong Bad think about dogs having
lips?Matt: Um,.. hang on a second. (pauses)
Mike: He has to get into costume.
W: He’s got to put on a mask?Mike: Yeah. (laughs)
W: (laughs)Matt: (long pause, quietly) Bhaa,...Strong Bad: Dogs have lips, huh?
W: Yeah. Do they?Strong Bad: Um,.. what,.. I don’t
know, man. Does The Cheat have lips?
W: I wouldn’t think so. But is The Cheat
a dog?Strong Bad: Ah,.. he’s half,.. I
don’t know.
W: (laughing) What is The Cheat?Strong Bad: He’s The Cheat, man.
He’s got,.. that’s all he’s
got going for him. He’s The Cheat.
W: So, the question then is, does The Cheat have
lips?Strong Bad: I’ve turned the question
into my own question, at this point. And the answer
is, The Cheat has a gold toof.
W: (laughs)Mike: (laughs)
W: Well, thank you very much for answering that.Strong Bad: Thanks for your time.
W: Hey, no problem. Now give the phone back to
Matt.Strong
Bad: Okay.Interview available
in the "Best Of" print issue!Read the entire
interview

RJD2
(DJ)
Vinnie Baggadonuts: Do dogs have lips?Rjd2: Well, they gotta have lips.
V: They gotta have lips?R: Yeah. They're all drooly and shit.
They gotta have lips. Read the entire
interview

TRACHTENBURG
FAMILY SLIDESHOW PLAYERS (MUSICIANS)
Wayne Chinsang: Okay, last question: do dogs have
lips?Jason Trachtenburg: Yes. They have black
lips.Rachel Trachtenburg: Yeah, they do.
W: That’s what I say, too, but some people
say they don’t.J: No, no.
R: No. They do.
J: We’re looking at ‘em right now.
Right, Rach?
R: Yeah.
W: Well, good. I’m glad your dogs have lips.J: We’ve got two of them, and they
both have lips.
R: I’m not sure about Emma, but Rags does.
J: Hmm.
W: What were their names, Rachel?R: Emma and Rags.
W: Right on.Read the entire
interview

RON
JEREMY (ADULT FILM STAR)
Wayne Chinsang: (laughs) Okay. I’ve just
got one more question for you. We ask everyone
this.Ron Jeremy: Okay.
W: Do dogs have lips?R: Do dogs have lips? Hmm. (pauses) One
second.
[RON TALKS TO HIS FRIEND NATALIE.]R: (to Natalie) Do dogs have lips? They
do? Okay. (to Wayne) I asked my friend Natalie,
and she says they do.
W: They do?R: According to her, they do. And she’d
know. Natalie knows everything.
W: Sounds good to me.Interview available
in the "Best Of" print issue!Read the entire
interview

GINGER
LYNN (ADULT FILM STAR)
Night Watchman: And, finally, a question we always
ask our interviewees: do dogs have lips? Ginger Lynn: Yes! I know this, as I've
kissed two of them: Traci Lords and Ron Jeremy.
And they both have lips.Read the entire
interview

EVERYDAY
PEOPLE : JOSH MILHOUSE (NAVY CORPSMAN)
Smokin' Joe Blow: I have one last question. And
this is important stuff here. Do chickens-- no,
wait. Do dogs have lips?Josh Milhouse: Do chickens have lips?
That's a weird fucking question.
S: No, man. Dogs. Do dogs have lips?J: Probably. I never thought of it before.Read the entire
interview

UNTAPPED
TALENT: ANDY LEE (ARTIST)
Night Watchman: In your opinion, do dogs have
lips?Andy Lee: Yes. Because a lip shares the
same type of muscle as the anus; dogs have an
anus. Therefore,...Read the entire
interview

UNTAPPED
TALENT: KIKI MACLEAN (ARTIST)
Wayne Chinsang: Okay. Last question. What is it?Kiki Maclean: Oh, I know! The dog thing.
Wait, I brought research.
[KIKI PULLS A PIECE OF PAPER OUT OF HER BAG.]K: Here. I looked it up and found a diagram.
W: (laughs)K: And dogs do, in fact, have lips.
[THE DIAGRAM IS OF A DOG HEAD, WITH AN ARROW POINTING
TO ITS MOUTH. IT IS LABELED “LIPS”.]
W: Hell yeah. Where did you find this?K: On a dog website. I typed in “dog
anatomy”, and up popped that picture of
a dog’s head.
W: Kick ass, dude.K: Well, I knew they had to be there,
because what else would you call the things that
cover the teeth?
W: Some people say they’re jowls.K: Jowls? I thought jowls were the things
on the side.
W: That’s what I thought, too. Read the entire
interview

QUEENSRYCHE'S
GEOFF TATE (MUSICIAN)
Night Watchman: Finally, a question we always
ask: do you think dogs have lips?Geoff Tate: Yeah. I think they do. I've
seen them get stuck on their teeth and roll under.
N: Yeah. That's a good point.G: I've got three dogs.
N: What kinds?G: I've have a brown-spotted dalmatian,
which is kind of strange. I have a Boston terrier
and a wiener dog; a miniature dachshund.
N: So you are the expert to ask.G: Well, I'm definitely a dog aficionado.
(laughs)Read the entire
interview

ANTON
FIG (MUSICIAN)
Night Watchman: In your opinion, do you think
dogs have lips?Anton Fig: Yes. But very thin ones. I
think dogs have lips, and the Pope does shit in
the woods.Read the entire
interview

UNTAPPED
TALENT: DEBORAH JOHNSON (ARTIST)
Vinnie Baggadonuts: Okay-- last question. We ask
everyone this question. A few years ago, the staff
was sitting around talking, and someone mentioned
dogs having lips. A big debate ensued, and calls
were placed to many veterinarians. So, Miss Deborah,
you must choose a side: Do dogs have lips?Deborah Johnson: Yes. But you're not asking
me this because the dogs are talking to you, right?
Did "they" tell you to interview me?Read the entire
interview

STELLASTARR*'S
ARTHUR KREMER (MUSICIAN)
D.J. Kirkbride: One last question that I have
to ask. I don't know why, because no one has ever
explained it to me. But, do dogs have lips?Arthur Kremer: (pauses) Do dogs have lips?
That is a strange question. I would say no.
D: No? Any reason, or is this just your gut reaction?A: Well, uh,.. hmmm. I think it's partially
because we developed lips for a purpose-- for
sensitivity and to help identify things. I think
dogs use their nose for stuff like that. I think
dogs' noses serve some of the same purposes as
our lips. I'm just talking out of my ass, really.
D: I don't know. You've convinced me, because
I used to think they did have lips. Now I think
they don't. You had a well thought out answer.A: Cool.Read the entire
interview

BRIAN
GAGE (WRITER)
Wayne Chinsang: Okay, last question. Do dogs have
lips?Brian Gage: Do dogs have lips? Hmmm,...
(pauses) I think they have cheeks that haven’t
really evolved all the way. Hanging cheeks is
what I would call them.
W: Hanging cheeks. Okay.B: I wouldn’t call them lips. Hanging
cheeks. Is that the first time anyone has ever
said that one?
W: Yeah. For sure.B: Good.Read the entire
interview

SANDER
HICKS (PUBLISHER/WRITER/PUNK ROCKER)
Wayne Chinsang: Okay. The last question I have
for you has nothing to do with anything we’ve
just talked about for the last hour--Sander Hicks: Yes. Dogs have lips.
W: Thank you.S: Because I’ve kissed many a dog
when I was between girlfriends. (laughs)
W: Aww. (laughs)S: I realized this question was coming
because I’ve read four issues of the magazine.
But how could people not say dogs have
lips?
W: That’s what I’m saying.S: Yeah, man! Come on. You know, don’t
deny the humanity of dogs. (laughs)
W: (laughs)Read the entire
interview

ISAAC
ADAMSON (AUTHOR)
D.J. Kirkbride: Do dogs have lips?Isaac Adamson: (pauses) Do dogs have lips?
They do. They're just kinda inside-out.
D: They're inside-out?I:
Yeah. That's all I can think of. All I have is
cats. Read
the entire interview

KMFDM'S
SASCHA K. (MUSICIAN)
Night Watchman: Do you think dogs have lips?Sascha
K.: Do dogs have lips? (long pause) Fuck, I don’t
know, do they? I don’t know. I haven’t
looked at dogs for a while. I’ll check it
out, though, and I’ll let you know. (laughs)
What kind of question is that?
N: It just started as a debate with the staff…S: What kind of answers do you get?
N: Some people say yes, some say no, some people
think they just have jowls,.. we just ask to see
where everybody stands.S: Pretty strange. But then again, you’re
called tastes like chicken,.. that makes
everything relative.Read
the entire interview

ROBBIE
CONAL (ARTIST)
Debbie: Do dogs have lips?Robbie Conal: Do dogs have lips? Of course.
What a silly question.
D: It's just something we--R: (laughing) It's okay. Fish have lips,
too, by the way.
D: They do?R: Absolutely. Lovely lips. Put that in
for me, please. I don't wanna leave fish out of
this. Fish have lovely lips as well. Read
the entire interview

THE
SLACKERS' VIC RUGGIERO (MUSICIAN)
Vinnie Baggadonuts: Do dogs have lips?Vic Ruggiero: (laughing) Uh,.. yeah, dogs
have some lips there, don’t they? Big furry
lips. (laughing) Right where the whiskers come
out. It's kind of like their mustache. That counts
as lips, I think.
V: So, they have a dog mustache?V: Yeah. Their whiskers are like their
dog mustaches. Read the entire
interview

UNTAPPED
TALENT: MUNKEY JUICE (MUSICIANS)
Vinnie Baggadonuts: Do dogs have lips?Bubba: Girl dogs do.Nelson: Do dogs have lips-- oh, I get
it. I get you, Bubba. (laughing) Backwards lips. Okay. Do dogs have lips? I don’t know.
In my drunken days I would have said yes.All: (laughing)N:
But, I'm gonna have to say no, now that I’m
sober. Read
the entire interview

CRAIG
CLEVENGER (AUTHOR) D.J.
Kirkbride: Do dogs have lips?Craig Clevenger: Do dogs have lips? (pauses)
I'm wondering what's the trick question here.
D: There's no trick. There's a debate. A long
time ago, before I was on staff, there was a debate.
So now we ask everybody we interview.C: They have teeth. They have gums. Their
mouths can, in fact, close completely. So, in
terms of skin touching and concealing the mouth,
yeah, they have lips. But since they can't pronounce
consonants, which is the bulk of what my lips
do, I would have to say no.
D: Alright.C: I'm gonna go search on a veterinarian
site right now.
D: Yeah. I want you to research it.C: I can do that.
D: We need some documentation.C: I think the churches are pushing the
lip theory, and the public schools are teaching
the no-lip theory.
D: (laughs) What came first? The dog or the lips?C: So you can throw that in there if you
want. Whatever the church stance is, I have to
go the opposite. And I think the church is supporting
the lip theory here.
D: I'll buy that. I'm changing my answer to "No",
too.C: (laughs)
D: That's an idea for a third book.Read the entire
interview

UNTAPPED
TALENT: JOLIE HOLLAND (MUSICIAN) Vinnie
Baggadonuts: Do dogs have lips?Jolie Holland: Do dogs have lips? Of course they have lips!
V: (disappointed) Are you sure?J: Do dogs have lips?
V: Yeah.J: Absolutely! Think about hound dogs.
V: Alright. I’ll take your word for it.J: (laughs) Okay.
V: I am so in the minority--J: (laughs) I mean, they don’t have
lips like people have lips. But,..
V: But they have dog lips. That’s fine.
Whatever.Interview available
in the "Best Of" print issue!Read the entire
interview

DITA
VON TEESE (BURLESQUE PERFORMER AND MODEL) Wayne
Chinsang: Do dogs have lips?Dita Von Teese: Well, I went over and
had a close look at one of my two dachshund's
mouths, and I will say that yes, mine do! They
are a little fuzzy, but they definitely have lips.
Later on, I asked my boyfriend if he thought dogs had lips, and he said, "Hell
yes, they do!" So we checked it out again.
They do.Read
the entire interview

THEY
MIGHT BE GIANTS' JOHN FLANSBURGH (MUSICIAN) Bethany
Shady: Do dogs have lips?John Flansburgh: That's a great question.
I was always confused that they don't seem to
have belly buttons, but that's a different deal.
Slobbery dogs seem to have lips, but kinda inverted
lips that let the slobber come down. More tidy,
less houndish dogs seem lipless. But I'm glad
you asked.Read the entire
interview

TRAVIS
DICKERSON (MUSIC PRODUCER) Monkeybe:
Do dogs have lips? Travis Dickerson: I'm beat up after settling
that thing with chickens. It's the next generation's
job to settle the dog question.Read the entire
interview

UNTAPPED
TALENT: ERIC ADKISON (ZINE PUBLISHER) Sal
Swayzo: Do dogs have lips?Eric Adkison: Yeah. I kiss them all the
time. That’s why I have dog breath.
S: And that’s why this interview was done
over the phone.Read
the entire interview

UNTAPPED
TALENT: CAN KICKERS (MUSICIANS) Vinnie
Baggadonuts: Do dogs have lips?Doug Schaefer: No.
Dan Spurr: Yes.
D: Ask Thompson. He would know.
DS: I will. (to Dan Thompson) Hey, Dan-- do dogs
have lips?
Dan Thompson: (in the background) They have gums.
All: (laugh)DS: Yes. They have lips.
D: That’s the final answer?
DS: That’s the final answer.
D: Okay.
DS: And gums,.. and teeth.
All: (laugh)DS: I wonder if it depends on the dog?
D: But why would a dog not have lips?
DS: Well, what’s a “lip”?
D: Yeah. How do you define “lip”?
V: Man, you’re turning it into philosophy,
now.DS: I don’t know. I’ve met
people that don’t have lips.
D: What-- they’ve just got gums?
All: (laugh)DS: No. But the typically bulbous, fleshy
lip part is just kinda flat. So there’s
just kind of an edge to their mouth.
V: Maybe that’s what it is-- dogs just have
an “edge”.
All: (laugh)D: Dogs just have an edge.
All: (laugh)DS: But you can talk about the lip like
“the lip of a cliff”. The lip is the
cliff’s edge.
D: Man, this is getting deep.Read
the entire interview

CHAS
RAY KRIDER (PHOTOGRAPHER) Wayne
Chinsang: Do dogs have lips?Chas Ray Krider: Do dogs have lips?
W: Yeah.C: Mine does. She’s a white dog
with black lips. Everyone always says that I’m
her daddy. And I always say, “I’m
not her daddy. I’m her boyfriend.”
(laughs)
W: (laughs)C: So I know she has lips. (laughs)Read
the entire interview

ASHLEY
FONTENOT (PHOTOGRAPHER) Mister
Sister: Do dogs have lips?Ashley Fontenot: No. But I don't hold
it against them.Read
the entire interview

ERROR'S
LEO ROSS (MUSICIAN) Night
Watchman: Do dogs have lips?Leo Ross: Dogs have lips? Well, I just
got a dog in November, and I would have to say
that they do have lips, because I spend a lot
time with my dog. Surveying it from various different
angles,.. dogs are on my mind a lot because I
just got her, so I spend a hell of a lot of time
with her.
Both: (laugh)L: So, my professional opinion would be
yes.Read
the entire interview

GRAHAM
ROUMIEU (ILLUSTRATOR/WRITER) Wayne
Chinsang: Do dogs have lips?Graham Roumieu: If they did, could they
whistle? And would they come to themselves?Read
the entire interview

THE
CRYSTAL METHOD'S SCOTT KIRKLAND (MUSICIAN) Wayne
Chinsang: Do dogs have lips?Scott Kirkland: Ah,... (laughs) Yeah,
they do. Right when you asked that I thought about
my dog. I have a black Lab. He does have lips--
well,.. they’re chops. I would consider
them lips.
W: Okay. There’s no right answer.S: (laughs) I know there’s no right
answer.
W: (laughs)S: Who came up with that one?
W: Well, it actually started about five years
ago while we were all drunk.S: (laughs)
W: It got brought up, and the group was split.
So we decided to ask people we interview for their
opinion. I think we’ve asked somewhere around
150 people by now.S: (laughs) That’s cool.Read
the entire interview

UNTAPPED
TALENT: DUSTIN GROVEMILLER (PUBLISHER) D.J.
Kirkbride: Do dogs have lips?Dustin Grovemiller: Oh, right. Hmmm. I
think dogs don't have fully-formed lips. They
have these unevolved "proto-lips" that
will become lips as we know them in a few millennia.
Right now, they're basically just slobber-covered
meat curtains.
D.J.: "Slobber-Covered Meat Curtains"
should be a band name! So, in the future, dogs
will be able to whistle?D: Not just whistle, but play brass instruments
as well! The dog of the future will be able to
replace French horn players, which will make the
world a better place.Read
the entire interview

EVERYDAY
PEOPLE: BEN THOMAS (MAILMAN) D.J.
Kirkbride: When dogs chase you, do you notice
if they have lips?Ben Thomas: They all have teeth when they're
chasing you. That's all I notice.Read
the entire interview

EARL
SLICK (MUSICIAN) Night
Watchman: Do dogs have lips?Earl Slick: Yes. They definitely do.
N: It’s a running question we ask everyone.E: I know that for a fact, because I have
two Newfoundlands. Do you know what they look
like?
N: No.E: They’re huge dogs-- almost St.
Bernard size-- and they have those big, droopy
faces. Well, those things that hang down like
on a Bullmastiff, those are their lips. And I
know that because they drool all the time. They’re
horrible droolers, and some people that get these
dogs actually have this surgery where they’ll
sew their lips up higher so they don’t drool.
N: That’s fucking horrible!E: Yeah, that’s fucking horrible.
That’s how I found out about that, and I
said these guys need to be taken down.Read
the entire interview

EVERYDAY
PEOPLE: BECCA MARCUS (HOT 17-YEAR-OLD) Fphatty
Lamar: Do dogs have lips?Becca Marcus: That's a stupid question.
(laughs) Yet,.. clever. I don't know. Damn!
F: See, I don't think they do. I heard a vet say
once that they don't have real lips because they
don't have muscles in them like we do. They can't
drink through a straw, because they have no lips
to form a seal.B: I have a comeback.
F: Do it!B: You have lips, so I guess
the answer is yes. (laughs) Boo-ya!
F: Goodbye. You're dead to me. Actually, I think
I respect you more.Read
the entire interview

RASPUTINA'S
ZOË KEATING (MUSICIAN) Night
Watchman: Do you think dogs have lips?Zoë Keating: Oh, yeah. Yeah.
N: Wow. That was definite.Z: Yeah. I’m sure of it. My friend
Tony has this beautiful coonhound, and it makes
these crazy expressions, and I’m just sure
that she has lips. That’s a good question.
What’s the poll? How is it broken down?
N: It’s pretty evenly divided. Some people
say they don't, while others say they’ve
got to have lips; they’re just bigger and
hang off their face. A lot of different reactions.Z: (laughs) That’s great.Read
the entire interview

EVERYDAY
PEOPLE: PATRICK KIRKBRIDE (BROTHER)D.J.
Kirkbride: Do dogs have lips?Patrick Kirkbride: Yes.
D.J.: Why?P: Because lips are the things that cover
your teeth, and make up what your mouth is. People have weird lips, really. People are the freak
shows when it comes to lips. Most animals have
lips, but they’re not all turned out and
bright pink. Or whatever color your lips happen
to be.
D: Right now, my lips are more of a burgundy.
But that’s the lipstick I’m wearing.P: (long pause)Read
the entire interview

TWEAKER'S
CHRIS VRENNA (MUSICIAN)Night
Watchman: Do you think dogs have lips?Chris Vrenna: (laughs) Um... do dogs have
lips? I think so. Sure! I think they do. I mean,
they can’t pucker them, but they definitely...
I would say dogs have lips. Sure. So do kitty
cats.
Both: (laugh)C: But chickens don’t! But dogs
do. (laughs) Oh, God.Read
the entire interview

BEN
KWELLER (MUSICIAN)D.J.
Kirkbride: Do dogs have lips?Ben Kweller: Do... you know what? Cats
have lips.
D.J.: You think so? Do you have any cats?B: I kiss my cats on the lips. They have,
like, a little, pink ridge.
Both: (laugh)B: And I kiss 'em.
D.J.: Awww.B: Awww. Dude, I miss my cats now! You
know, I don’t know if dogs have lips, but
I’m certain at least one of my cats, Zach,
has lips.Read
the entire interview

MIKE
ALLRED (COMIC BOOK ARTIST)D.J.
Kirkbride: Do dogs have lips?Mike Allred: Yes.
D.J.: Yes?M: Yes.
D.J.: Excellent.M: We have three dogs, and all of them
have lips. One of them has huge lips! (laughs)
D.J.: So, there’s no doubt in your mind?M: (laughs) No doubt!
D.J.: You go in the "yes" column.M: I’ve seen human beings that have
smaller lips than them, so they definitely qualify
as lips.Read
the entire interview

UNTAPPED
TALENT: HOTCAKES GALLERY (GALLERY OWNERS)Wayne
Chinsang: Do dogs have lips?Susan Kriofsky: Yeah. Aren’t they
black?
Mike Brenner: I went to high school with a guy
I caught French kissing a dog. I don’t know
that you could do that to something without lips.Read
the entire interview

W.A.S.P.'S
BLACKIE LAWLESS (MUSICIAN)Night
Watchman: In your professional opinion, do dogs
have lips?Blackie Lawless: Those ones you find on
the road when you’re touring? Those kind?
Both: (laugh)
N: Yeah, those kind.B: Um... some do, some don’t. (laughs)
N: Do you try to stay away from the ones that
don’t?B: Mostly, yes.
Both: (laugh)Read
the entire interview

SIMPLE
KID (MUSICIAN)Bethany
Shady: Do dogs have lips?Simple Kid: (laughs) Um... is this a "yes"
or "no" answer?
B: You can say "yes" or "no",
or you can elaborate. It's your answer. S: Well, I'm trying to think back to all
the dogs I've known. I think they've got lips
and then some. They've got these big purple and
black kinds of lumps of flesh. I suppose they're
lips. Actually, I reckon dogs have more gums than
lips, though. Huh... that's pretty profound.
B: Well, we are pretty deep here at tastes
like chicken. S: I've been trying to come up with a
name for the second album, and I think you might've
just given it to me. But I don't want to hear
of anyone trying to get any money from me if I
name it that. (laughs)Read
the entire interview

SPYMOB'S
JOHN OSTBY (MUSICIAN)Night
Watchman: Do you think dogs have lips?John Ostby: Do I think that dogs have what?
N: Lips.J: As an owner of several dogs in my life,
I would have to say I think they do not have lips.
N: Okay. Because they don’t pucker at you?J: That, and I’ve just done a lot
of intense romantic kissing with my dog, and I
don’t usually feel lips. It just feels like
a snout that I’m kissing.
N: (laughs)J: Yeah. It’s all snout and tongue.Read
the entire interview

EVERYDAY
PEOPLE: MARY CAREY (PORN STAR)Night
Watchman: In your professional opinion, do you
think dogs have lips?Mary Carey: Dogs have lips? Um... no.
I don't think so. I have two dogs, and I'm trying
to picture them right now. I don't think they
really have lips. Their mouth opens, and it's
kind of furry, but... you know, they don't have
lips. Dogs do not have lips.
N: Okay.M: Do you think dogs have lips?
N: I think they do. They're just weird-looking.
(laughs)M: Now I'm gonna go home and study my
dogs.
N: They definitely have a bottom lip, I think.M: I wish my dogs were here right now.
I'd be able to tell you better.Read
the entire interview

FLOGGING
MOLLY'S DENNIS CASEY, MATT HENSLEY, AND BOB SCHMIDT
(MUSICIANS)Debbie:
Do dogs have lips?Bob Schmidt: Definitely. Because I generally
don’t eat animals that have lips, like cows
and pigs. And I would never eat a dog.
Vinnie Baggadonuts: Damn! That was fast.Dennis Casey: I don’t know. (to
Matt) Do dogs have lips?
Matt Hensley: Heck yeah, man. Angus has some big-ass
lips.
V: (dismayed) But don’t lips pucker?M: I have a French bulldog, and I have
a picture of him back on the bus. That motherfucker
has huge-ass lips.
All: (laugh)D: I don’t know, man. I never thought
about that.B: Well, what would you call them if they
don’t have "lips"?
V: Flaps!B: But have you ever seen a dog drink?
I mean, when they’re real thirsty and tired?
M: Or when they smile?
B: Yeah! Dogs smile!
V: That’s one of those grey areas.
All: (laugh)
V: I went to art school. I don’t understand
medicine.
All: (laugh)M: (laughs) Didn’t you take anatomy
class?
V: I never drew lips on people!
All: (laugh)B: That’s the hardest part of the
face to draw?
V: (laughs) Well, I never drew them.B: I think you’re letting us in
on some deep, dark secrets there.
D: I think you’ve been outvoted.Read
the entire interview

LIT'S
JEREMY POPOFF (MUSICIAN)D.J.
Kirkbride: Do dogs have lips?Jeremy Popoff: Do dogs have lips? (laughs)
D.J.: Yes. On their mouths. Like, all dogs.J: Yes.
D.J.: They do?J: Yeah.
D.J.: Do you have a dog?J: I do have a dog.
D.J.: And have you seen his lips? Is it a he or
a she?J: It’s a he. I’ve seen his
lips. I’ve folded them down before to look
at his teeth.Read
the entire interview

UNTAPPED
TALENT: SLOANE TANEN (ARTIST/AUTHOR)Vinnie
Baggadonuts: Do dogs have lips?Sloane Tanen: Yes!
V: You don’t even have to think about that
at all?S: I’m a big dog person. Dogs have
lips. Well, it might be a wraparound gum.
V: Right! Okay! Now you’re saying what I
want to hear. So, they aren’t lips, then?S: (laughs) I guess I wouldn’t say
they’re a "lip", but they serve
the same purpose. I think a vet would actually
call it a lip.
V: What do they know?Read
the entire interview

THE
AQUABATS' CRASH McLARSON (MUSICIAN)Miss
Monster Mel: Do dogs have lips?Crash McLarson: (pauses) Well, they are always sticking their mouths somewhere.
M: So is that a "yes"? It’s the
standard tastes like chicken question.C: (laughs) Then I would say... yes!Read
the entire interview

GLENN
SHADIX (ACTOR)Night
Watchman: Do you think dogs have lips?Glenn Shadix: Hmmm... not a question I’ve
pondered to a great extent. I am a dog
man, but I’ve never noticed lips. They’ve
got a lot of nose.
Both: (laugh)Read
the entire interview

BRAZIL'S
JONATHON NEWBY (MUSICIAN)Night
Watchman: Do dogs have lips?Jonathon Newby: Uh... let me confer with
my cohort.
N: Okay.J: (to his wife) Do dogs have lips? It's
those black and pink things around the teeth,
right? Yeah? (to Watchman) My answer is yes.
[JONATHAN'S WIFE IS LAUGHING IN THE BACKGROUND]J: Because it's those little fleshy black
and pink spotted things that they pull back when
they bare their teeth.
N: Okay.J: That's my answer.
N: That makes sense to me.J: Alright. I hope that enlightens people.Read
the entire interview

HAR
MAR SUPERSTAR (MUSICIAN)Vinnie
Baggadonuts: For the last six years we've been
arguing as to whether or not dogs have lips.Har Mar Superstar: (laughs) They have,
uh, weird lips. Like, some sort of cleft curtain
of flesh. You have to lift up that weird flap
to get to the teeth. I'm gonna go with yes, but
they're not your conventional lips. I mean, some
dogs can kinda smile, you know?
Both: (laugh)Read
the entire interview

MIX
MASTER MIKE (MUSICIAN)Wayne
Chinsang: Do dogs have lips?Mix Master Mike: (pauses) My father-in-law’s
dog has lips. His name is Cody and he’s
a Shih-Tzu. So, dogs do have lips.Read
the entire interview

UNTAPPED
TALENT: PORK TORNADO'S DUSTY SCOTT (AUTHOR)Smokin'
Joe Blow: Do dogs have lips?Dusty Scott: They only have one lip. There
is an ancient Greek legend that says that dogs
used to whistle as a rallying cry to one another,
forming vast packs that would do battle with tribes
of rogue warriors. Whistlehounds are depicted
in the petroglyphs of the Romans defending their
strongholds until near the fall of their empire.
The legend says that the goddess Penelope married
one of these dogs, unaware of the hound's affinity
for fellating any human in a prone position. The
dog was equally unaware of Penelope's celebrated
and feared "many-toothed womanhood".
As a result, the hound's lower lip was sheared
off, leaving the entire species unable to form
a cohesive fighting unit, and giving rise to the
urban myth about the girl with peanut butter on
her crotch. Dogs were henceforth cursed into the
service of man, forced to pretend that they are
our best friend. But you'll notice they still
come running when you whistle.Read
the entire interview

ROSS
CLARKE-JONES (PRO SURFER)Wayne
Chinsang: Do dogs have lips?Ross Clarke-Jones: AS FAR AS I KNOW, THEY
DO POSSESS LIPS.Read
the entire interview

GWAR'S
ODERUS URUNGUS (A.K.A. DAVE BROCKIE) (MUSICIAN)Night
Watchman: Do dogs have lips?Dave Brockie: Oh, yeah. Dogs have lips!
Sure. They’re not lips like we know them,
but they are weird, wormy black things. Yeah,
they’re lips. I mean, it doesn’t go
straight from fur to gum!
All: (laugh)D: Of course they have lips!
That would look fucked-up! If you don’t
think that dogs have lips, then try to imagine
what your dog would look like without that weird,
wormy black thing around its mouth. It would be
straight fucking hair growing out of its gums!
That would be fucked-up! Dogs have lips!Read
the entire interview

JOEY
GOEBEL (AUTHOR)Night
Watchman: Do dogs have lips?Joey Goebel: (laughs) Oh, yeah. Do dogs
have lips? You know, I should have been prepared
for this, but I do have an answer. Remember the
Labradors I mentioned? My girlfriend challenged
me, or should I say ordered me, to kiss
one of the Labs on the lips. First of all, you’d
be surprised as to how reluctant dogs are to even
kiss humans. Secondly, no, no they don’t.
N: They do not have lips?J: We can go through the scientific method
on this if you want. I think it will come back
negative.
N: So then what were you kissing when you were
kissing the Lab?J: Let’s see... are you familiar
with the word "taint"?
N: Yeah. It was the taint? I think you were kissing
the wrong end!
Both: (laugh)J: No, no. I’m saying it’s
parallel to their taint, only on the other end.
Uh... it wasn’t the mouth and it wasn’t
the nose; it was somewhere in-between. They weren’t
lips. I mean, I know what lips feel like. I mean,
I make out a lot! I have a Chihuahua right here.
Let’s ask her. (to Chihuahua in a baby voice)
Voltron, do you have lips?
N: Your Chihuahua's name is Voltron?J: No, it’s the end of the snout.
No lips! No lips. No.
N: Now that I know your Chihuahua’s name
is Voltron I have to ask, what are the names of
the other dogs?J: The other dogs, let’s see...
one is named Lexi, one is named Debra Winger,
and one is named Sir Crapsalot.
N: (laughs)J: Man, I should have been ready for that
dog question. Do you think I handled it okay?
N: Oh, hell yeah. Just calling it a taint was
good by itself.J: Yeah. It’s an oral taint or a
mouth taint.Read
the entire interview

EVERYDAY
PEOPLE: KATIE AND ABBY STEIB (GOOD GIRLS)Wayne
Chinsang: Do dogs have lips?
[BOTH KATIE AND ABBY JUST STARE AT WAYNE WITH
A CONFUSED LOOK ON THEIR FACE]
All: (laugh)
W: I’m serious. Do you think dogs have lips?Abby Steib: I think they do.
Katie Steib: I have a dog book from my school’s
library. I’ll go get it.
[KATIE GETS HER LIBRARY BOOK]A: (looking through the book with Katie)
Oh, I see lips.
W: Yeah. That’s a lip.K: Where? I don’t see any lips.A: (pointing) There. It’s purple.
K: (shocked) Oh my God! That’s a lip?!?
All: (laugh)K: It does not look like a lip.
Vinnie Baggadonuts: I’m with you. I don’t
think they have lips.K: Well, I think they have lips. But I
don’t like it having purple lips.
All: (laugh)Read
the entire interview

UNTAPPED
TALENT: HUNTER ROBERTS (FILMMAKER)Vinnie
Baggadonuts: Do dogs have lips?Hunter Roberts: Dogs do not have
lips. They have "liplets". I know, because
my dog wanted a collagen lip injection last Christmas,
and the vet said no dice. You can't inject "liplets"
with anything.Read
the entire interview

LAST
CRACK'S BUDDO (MUSICIAN)Night
Watchman: Do dogs have lips?Buddo: (laughs) Hmmm... do dogs have lips?
Gosh, I’m stymied.
Both: (laugh)B: I’ve got a pug. So, yeah, I think
there are some lips on the pug. (laughs) She can
actually smile, so there must be some...
what is that called? What is the lip muscle?
N: I don’t know. But there are a lot of
them in there that make it so you can smile.B: They’re the round muscles, you
know?
N: Like a sphincter?B: There we go!
Both: (laugh)
N: So they have a butt-mouth?
Both: (laugh)B: Yeah. God, I don’t know if I’d
want to use that word in association with the
mouth or not!Read
the entire interview

NEAL
POLLACK (AUTHOR)Wayne
Chinsang: Do dogs have lips?Neal Pollack: (pauses) Let me look at
my dog. Hang on. (to his dog, Hercules) Come here,
Hercules. Come here. Do you have lips? Do you
have lips? (to Wayne) Ummm... yeah, I think so.
There’s this little fleshy underthing under
his whiskers, right? I mean, of course. He has
a mouth.
W: That’s what I think. But a lot of people
think differently.N: No, I’m a dogs have lips guy.
They definitely have tongues. He gives good kisses.
W: (laughs)N: You can write that down as my answer.
I don’t care.
W: (laughs) Alright.N: Sorry if I didn’t provide the
hilarity you expected.
W: Oh, no, no. Sometimes we get short, one-word
answers and other times people get really detailed
and into it.N: Yeah. I would put myself somewhere
in the middle.
Both: (laugh)Read
the entire interview

PAUL
DINI (AUTHOR)
Wayne Chinsang: Do dogs have lips?Paul Dini: (pauses) Yes. And they are
magnificent.Read
the entire interview

EVERYDAY
PEOPLE: MIKE STRUHARIK (TEACHER)Mike Struharik: The lab I worked at actually
operated sound equipment, because they had an
archive of animal noises.
Vinnie Baggadonuts: Any dog noises?M: (laughs) Dog noises? Uh, probably
somewhere in there.
V: Like, any dogs using lips, perhaps?M: No, I don't believe dogs have lips, as a matter of fact.
V: So, in your expert opinion, then, and this is an expert opinion--M: (sarcastically) Oh, yeah, man. I'm
an expert on dogs.
V: (whispering) No! Shut up, man. You have to
say you are. It adds credibility to the cause!M: Oh! Alright. Sure, sure.
V: So, what you're saying is, dogs don't have lips?M: Some of them have jowls, perhaps,
but I wouldn't say any of them necessarily have
lips, because lips are things you use to manipulate
words and formulate your speech. Dogs just don't
do that.
V: Oh, man. This is great.M: If they had lips, they'd be able to
talk, and they don't.
V: And when they howl, they don't use their lips,
right?M: They sure don't.
V: This is the best interview ever.M: But then again, I could be mistaken.
One thing I've found, Vinnie, is that for every
expert, there's another scientist who disagrees.
V: Yeah, I know. That's the problem. Whatever.
Both: (laugh)Read
the entire interview

MICK
FOLEY (WRESTLER/AUTHOR)Staff
Member #716: Do dogs have lips?Mick Foley: (laughs) No... (coughs) I
don’t think they do.
716: You don’t think so?M: I don’t. Unless the description
of the lips is not one that I’m familiar
with. But, no, I’ve never been kissed by
a dog. I’ve been licked by several, including
President Clinton’s dog, Buddy. And I don’t
remember any lips on Buddy, either.
716: That’s what I think, too, but I’m
in the minority.M: To tell you the truth, the first thing
I’m going to do after this phone call is
go upstairs and check out my own dog and find
out for myself.Interview available
in print issue #3!

DAVE
BATISTA (WRESTLER)Wayne
Chinsang: Do dogs have lips?Dave Batista: Do dogs have lips? (laughs)
W: Yeah.D: You know, I don’t know scientifically
if they have lips, but I would have to say yes,
I guess. I have three dogs, and it looks like
they have lips to me. I don’t know...
now I’m gonna go home and inspect their
mouths.
Both: (laugh)D: It looks like they have black lips
to me.
W: Yeah.D: That’s an odd question.
W: Yeah, it started back in 1999, and we’ve
asked almost 200 different people that question
since then.D: That’s cool. I’ll ask
my dogs when I get home whether they have lips
or not.
W: (laughs) Alright.D: What’s the general response
you get from people?
W: Well, it’s really weird. Sometimes
we’ll just get one-word answers from people,
and other times people will be familiar with
the question and know it’s coming, so
they’ll come to the interview prepared
for it.D: (laughs) They’ll have scientific
explanations as to why dogs do or do not have
lips.
W: (laughs) Exactly.Read
the entire interview

PATTON
OSWALT (COMEDIAN/ACTOR)Bethany
Shady: Do dogs have lips?Patton Oswalt: If they don’t, why
do I go through two tubes a week of Savannah’s
Surrender on Mr. Scampers?Read
the entire interview

BIG
SHOW (WRESTLER)Night
Watchman: Do dogs have lips?Big Show: Do I think dogs have lips? Absolutely.
Dogs have lips. I have three dogs, four cats,
five birds, a fish, and a turtle.
N: Wow! They don’t all go out on the road
with you, do they?B: (laughs) No, they don’t. I’ve
got a 75-pound boxer, a 90-pound German shepherd,
and a two-year-old, 110-pound English mastiff--
he’s growing every day. I like big dogs,
because I know that if I sit on the couch I won’t
accidentally sit on them and kill them. There
are no chihuahuas in little sweaters running around
this house. My dogs would eat it as an hors d'oeuvre.Read
the entire interview

MARK
METCALF (ACTOR)Wayne
Chinsang: Do dogs have lips?Mark Metcalf: (laughs) Do dogs have lips?
Yeah. Don’t they?
W: I think they do.
Fphatty Lamar: They don’t.M: They don’t have lips?
Chickens don’t have lips.
F: Well, this is how it came up. I saw a thing
that said dogs have the ends to their cheeks,
and they look black and lip-ish. But they don’t
have muscles where they can suck through a straw.
They don’t have functioning lips.M: Oh.
W: But they can howl.
F: And I’m in the minority.M: Yeah, but your explanation sounds more
scientific. Did you research this?
F: Well, it’s probably totally made up.
I probably got it from Animal Planet or something
like that.M: The science on Animal Planet is very
good.
All: (laugh)M: I used to French kiss dogs a lot. In
fact, I produced a movie called Chilly Scenes
Of Winter, and we got a great deal on the
book because we went to meet Ann Beattie, who
wrote it, and we met her in Cambridge, and she
had this little Border collie. And she came up
and kissed my face, so I just... (imitates French
kissing the dog).
All: (laugh)M: And I did it for a long time. So she
gave us a great deal on the book.
All: (laugh)
Night Watchman: That really could have gone either
way, couldn’t it?Read
the entire interview

CINDERELLA'S
TOM KEIFER (MUSICIAN)Night
Watchman: In your professional opinion, do dogs
have lips?Tom Keifer: (long pause, to his wife)
Where’s our dog? Yeah, I think they do.
Yeah, I would say dogs have lips, don’t
they? Yeah, he does. Our dog does.
N: What kind of dog is he?T: He’s half-lab and half-corgi,
and he does for sure. I was going to check, but
I’m pretty sure he does.Read
the entire interview

CHEATERS'
JOEY GRECO (TV SHOW HOST)
Wayne Chinsang: Do dogs have lips?Joey Greco: Do dogs have lips? (calls
to his dog) Come here, sweetie. (snaps) Well,
you know, I’m gonna have to say yes. I’m
looking at mine right now.
W: What kind of dog do you have?J:
Australian Shepherd. Yeah, they have lips, because
some dogs can kind of smile. You've heard people
describe someone having "chicken lips".
Well, how would you ever get that phrase if chickens
didn’t have lips? And if chickens with their
beaks have lips, then I’d have to say dogs
have lips. Now, I haven’t kissed a chicken
or a dog, so I don’t know what kind of feel
you get. Like, when you qualify if someone is
a good kisser, it’s all about the feel you
get; then you can really make a distinction on
the quality of someone’s lips. But I have
never kissed my dog on the mouth. We’re
not intimate like that. Short of that, I don’t
know what I can say. That's all I'll say. I haven't
said anything, and I'll say nothing more.Both:
(laugh)W:
Well, that's a great answer. We’ll take
that.Read
the entire interview

JOHN
CENA (WRESTLER/MUSICIAN)
Wayne Chinsang: Do dogs have lips?John Cena: (pauses) Yes. Yes they do.
W: Okay. I asked Batista that once, and he was
like--J:
He was thrown off by it?W:
He was just like, (pauses) "Yeah."Both:
(laugh)Read
the entire interview

AIMEE
MANN (MUSICIAN)
Night Watchman: In your professional opinion,
do dogs have lips?Aimee Mann: Hmmm... I’ll go with
no lips.Read
the entire interview

BAM
MARGERA (SKATER)
Wayne Chinsang: Do dogs have lips?Bam Margera: Do dogs have lips? (pauses)
Both: (laugh)B: If they do, they're tiny lips. (laughs)
I don't know, man. I had to get rid of my dogs
because I couldn't take care of them anymore because
I'm always away.
W: Right.B: So I don't know anything about dogs.
Both: (laugh)Interview
available in print issue #4!

MIKE
PATTON (MUSICIAN)
Night Watchman: Do dogs have lips?Mike Patton: Lips? Yeah! Of course they
do. If they have gums they’ve got to have
lips, right?
N: Makes sense to me. It’s a debate around
here.M: Sounds like you guys have a lot of
time on your hands. Why don’t you go out
and buy a dog?
Both: (laugh)
N: There’s still an argument. Even if you
point them out to people, they’ll say it’s something, just not lips.M: They’re lips! Trust me, I know.
I’ve kissed many dogs.Interview
available in print issue #4!

EVERYDAY
PEOPLE: BRYAN BREITUNG (GOOD CITIZEN)
Hellkat: Do dogs have lips?Bryan Breitung: Do dogs have lips? (laughs)
Do chickens have lips? Let's see... I think so.
I mean, when you compare them to human lips, they
don't. But I don't know. I could picture a dog
chewing tobacco.
Both: (laugh)B: So I'd say yeah. (laughs)Interview
available in print issue #5!

BILLY
IDOL (MUSICIAN)
Night Watchman: Do dogs have lips?Billy Idol: Dogs have...?
N: Lips.B: Lips? I don’t know. I’ve
never thought about it. (laughs) Hmmm... never
thought about that. (laughs) Oh, well. I’ll
have to contemplate my navel and think about that
this afternoon.Interview
available in print issue #5!

SCOTT
BURDICK (ARTIST)
Das Bork: Do dogs have lips?Scott Burdick: Do I think dogs have lips?
Let's see... I’ve been kissed by dogs, but
I can’t remember if it was a big-lip kiss
or if it was just a lick. I guess I’d have
to say they do.
D: Okay.
Both: (laugh)S: Just out of personal experience.Read
the entire interview

PORCUPINE
TREE'S STEVEN WILSON (MUSICIAN)
Night Watchman: Do dogs have lips?Steven Wilson: (laughs) A very deep
question, huh? I’ve no idea. Isn’t
there something about how dogs can’t look
up or something?
N: I have heard something about that. Is that
true?S: I don’t know. I’ve never
watched a dog long enough to figure out if it
could look up. That’s kind of a bizarre
fact, isn’t it? Do dogs have lips? Ahhh...
are you looking for a serious answer here?
N: How ever you feel about it.S: Well, I’ve never tried to kiss
a dog, and that’s probably the best test,
isn’t it? The best test to find out if
they have lips would be to kiss one, but dogs
are also notorious for their breath, so I’m
not going to be rushing to try that.
Both: (laugh)
N: Well, if you decide to find out you can always
shoot me an email with your findings.S: Yeah, okay. But don’t hold
your breath.Read
the entire interview

JERRY
ZUCKER (WRITER/DIRECTOR)
Wayne Chinsang: Do dogs have lips?Jerry Zucker: Do dogs have lips? Yes,
they do, I think. I have two dogs, and I think
they have lips.
W: What kind of dogs do you have?J: I have a Samoyed/Chow mix, and a Lab.
And I think they both have what I would call lips.
Why? What’s the real answer to that?
W: There is no real answer.J: Oh, okay.
W: Basically, one night years ago we got into
an argument about that, and since then we try
and ask everyone we interview what their opinion
is.J: Oh, I see. Well, my answer is definitely
yes, but they’re not good kissers.
Both: (laugh)Interview available
in print issue #6!

30
SECONDS TO MARS'
JARED LETO & TOMO MILICEVIC (MUSICIAN/ACTOR
& MUSICIAN)
Night Watchman: Do dogs have lips?Jared Leto: Yes, I know they do. I’ve
kissed my dog's lips many times.
Tomo Milicevic: Yeah, dogs definitely have lips.
J: I can see his little lips right now. I miss
my dog. Yes, good dog. (makes kissy faces at an
imaginary dog)
All: (laugh)J: He’s so smart, too. As he’s
gotten older, you touch him, and he’s happy.
But after awhile, he’ll be like, "Whoa,
that’s too much."
All: (laugh)J: It’s bizarre. He gets used to
being alone.
T: He’s definitely a loner at night when
he’s sitting underneath the trees.
J: We’re very similar, my dog and I.
T: They look alike, too. You know how they say
you look like your pet after awhile? Well, it’s
definitely Jared’s dog.
J: It’s weird.
All: (laugh)J: He’s a killer dog. He kills.
T: Just before we left we saw him take out a squirrel.
J: You’ve got to be good to take out a squirrel.
Squirrels, birds, opossum... anything. Many, many
opossums. Probably a hundred opossums.
N: So when you come home there’s just this
huge pile of opossum waiting for you?T: (laughs)
J: No, he buries his kills. He’s good about
it. He’s eaten a few, too. That’s
weird. Usually they don’t eat them because
they’re so domesticated, but.... He’s
gotten some cats, some Canadian geese. One time
he bolted out of the car when we were in Seattle,
Washington going to a park. He jumped out of the
window, and we saw him running. It was like watching Wide World of Sports. I was like, (in
slow-motion voice) "Nooo!" But secretly,
I was like, (in slow-motion voice) "Yeeeaaahhh!"
All: (laugh)J: Because he was in his natural state.
The geese started moving in slow-motion, and he
was like-- BOOM!-- he got it. It was fucking amazing.
It was big, too. A big-old fucker.Interview available
in print issue #6!

PAUL
FEIG (WRITER/DIRECTOR)
Jeremy Scott: In your humble opinion, do you think
dogs have lips?Paul Feig: Yes, I do. My dog has a bottom
lip. I always study it, and I think at the top
I see just enough of an edge where it separates
out. They’re not full. They’re like
Frank Burns’ lips from M*A*S*H,
but they definitely have them.Interview available
in print issue #6!

EVERYDAY
PEOPLE: ROBERT BEHM (GRANDPA)
Eric Durrance: I've got one final question I have
to ask you: do dogs have lips?Robert Behm: Do dogs have lips? My dog’s
never jumped up and kissed me, but she has given
me a nose.
Both: (laugh)Interview available
in print issue #6!

SARAH
SILVERMAN (ACTRESS/COMEDIENNE)
Wayne Chinsang: Do dogs have lips?Sarah Silverman: My dog has a bottom lip,
for sure. It’s cute and black and totally
lippy.Interview available
in print issue #6!

KERMIT
THE FROG (AMPHIBIAN)
Wayne Chinsang: And lastly, the question we ask
everyone we interview is, do dogs have lips? But
since you count a dog as one of your good friends,
I'll ask you this: Does Rowlf have lips?Kermit the Frog: That question comes up
all the time, and my answer is always the same:
Rowlf and I are friends, but not that close.Interview available
in print issue #6!

WILLIAM
SCOTT JENNINGS (ARTIST)
Das Bork: In your opinion, do dogs have lips?William Scott Jennings: In my paintings?
D: No, in your opinion.W: Do dogs have lips? Well, I don't have
them in my paintings, either.
Both: (laugh)W: I have two golden retrievers, and there
is a point where the fur stops and the mouth starts,
and they look like they have black lips. So I'll
say yes, they do.
D: Alright.
Both: (laugh)W: In fact, one just walked in as I said
that. He's got a big smile on his face, and it
looks like he's got lips.Read
the entire interview

MYSTERY
SCIENCE THEATER 3000'S MIKE NELSON (COMEDIAN)
Boom Boom Storm Cloud: In your professional opinion,
do dogs have lips?Mike Nelson: Yes, they do.
B: Awesome!M: Oh, I think very definitely.
B: Cool. So, with having been with MST3K for ten years, in your professional opinion, do robots have lips?M: Uh... not so much. No.
B: No? Alright, Mr. Smartie I-Have-An-Answer-For-Everything.M: Yes?
B: Would robot dogs have lips?M: Yes, they would.
B: Fair enough.M: Now I’ve settled it for you.
(laughs)Read
the entire interview

MORGAN
WEISTLING (ARTIST)
Das Bork: In your opinion, do dogs have lips?Morgan Weistling: (pauses, laughs) Yes,
in having grown up with a dog my whole life--
I don’t have one anymore-- but I can say
for certain that dachshunds have lips.
D: Sounds good.M: And I have a lot of documentation to
back it up.Read
the entire interview

REVEREND
RUN (MUSICIAN)
Wayne Chinsang: Do dogs have lips?Reverend Run: (pauses) Yeah, you see it
right there over their teeth.
Both: (laugh)R: They have lips on the side.
W: That’s what I think, too.R: Yeah, they got lips. That’s a
dumb question. It’s not a dumb question. I’m just joking when I say that.
But you can see the daggone little lips on the
side. They’re just skinny, thin, and black.
W: Yeah, that’s what I say.R: Yeah, they’re skinny on the side.
You can see it clear. Probably some in the front,
too. Yeah, they got lips.
Both: (laugh)Read
the entire interview

KING'S
X'S TY TABOR (MUSICIAN)
Night Watchman: In your professional opinion,
do dogs have lips?Ty Tabor: Ahhh... it would depend on the
dog. Yeah. I think maybe some do and some don’t.
N: Is there a particular lippier breed?T: Uh, hound dogs are pretty lippy. Terriers
have a thin leather band that I guess you could
call a lip. So yeah, I guess dogs do have lips.
Both: (laugh)Read
the entire interview

BRIAN
POSEHN (COMEDIAN/ACTOR)
Night Watchman: In your professional opinion,
do dogs have lips?Brian Posehn: Yeah! What else would you
call that area around the mouth?
N: People have all different kinds of opinions,
like they can't have lips because they can't make
an "O" shape. Things like that.
B: Are those people that don't own dogs or don't
look at their dog’s lips all the time? Because
I spend half my life looking my dog in the face
and looking at his dog lips. If he was here right
now I'd grab his little dog lips and prove to
you over the phone somehow.
N: That sounds painful!
Both: (laugh)B: Well, I have basset hounds, so maybe
they're one of the only breeds that do have lips. Maybe the other dogs don't. But basset
hounds definitely have lips. (laughs)
That is a really great question. Did you ever
see Shaun Of The Dead?
N: Oh yeah. Dogs can't look up?B: I love that! Every time I look at my
dog now I'm forced to think of that.
N: Can they look up?B: They do, but they don't like it.
Both: (laugh)B: If I hold my dog's head and force him
to look up at me, he's like, "Eh!" Maybe
he doesn't like being forced to do something.
I don't know if that's what it is, or if he just
feels weird looking up. He's like, "I'm not
supposed to look up! Don't make me!"
N: If you were laying on your stomach and tried
to look up at the ceiling, it isn't really that
comfortable.B: No... (pauses) no.Interview available
in print issue #7!

DAVE
McKEAN (DIRECTOR/ARTIST)
Night Watchman: In your professional opinion,
do dogs have lips?Dave McKean: (laughs) Aren't you from
something called "chicken" or something?
N: Yeah. tastes like chicken.D: So what about chicken lips? Do chickens have lips? Chicken lips are famous... a delicacy,
apparently.
N: There seems to be more of an argument about
dog lips amongst us at the magazine.D: Dog lips?
N: It seems obvious to me that chickens are lipless.D: I guess not. I would say not. I think
cats have lips. They don't really have lips, but
they behave as if they have lips. They lick their
lips, they smack their lips-- they kiss you, you
know? But dogs... no. I'm not a big fan of dogs,
so I wouldn't give them lips.
N: (laughs)Interview available
in print issue #7!

HENRY
ROLLINS (MUSICIAN/AUTHOR)
Night Watchman: In your professional opinion,
do dogs have lips?Henry Rollins: Yeah. I don't know how
professional it is, but I've been up close to
a lot of dogs. Yeah, they do-- very small. Some
breeds have bigger lips than others.
N: Very small lips?H: Yeah, well, there's an outer coating
and a mucus membrane underneath, and then a hairline.
So, yeah, I think they have one.
N: Alright, great.H: That's really compelling stuff. I'm
sure everyone at your publication is just chomping
at the bit to hear what my take on that is.
N: Actually, you'd be surprised. I'd probably
get a lot of flack if I didn't ask you.H: Well, yeah. We wouldn't want to forego
that one.
N: Don't want to disappoint the readers.H: Oh, no. Definitely.Interview available
in print issue #7!

JAMES
GUNN & JENNA FISCHER (HOLLYWOOD POWER COUPLE)
Wayne Chinsang: So, the last question I have for
you both is one I’ve already asked James
before, but I’ll ask--James Gunn: They do have lips!
W: Well, there ya go! Do you think dogs have lips,
Jenna?Jenna Fischer: Yes, they do have lips.
JG: Where’s Wesley [Jenna and James’
dog]? Wesley, come here!
JF: They have little lips. You can see them. My
cat has lips, too. Wait, we’re gonna look
at our dog.
JG: I’ve looked at your website, and there
are some people that say that dogs don’t
have lips, and--
JF: Those are definitely lips.
JG: --I’m looking at our dog right now,
and he’s got lips.
JF: He definitely has a bottom lip.
JG: Yeah. Is that an option? Dogs have bottom
lips? Dogs have lip?
W: (laughs)JF: Dogs definitely have lip.
JG: No, he’s got a top lip, too. Look at
this! That’s a lip! I think he definitely
has lips.
JF: We say he has lips. Here’s what I’ll
say: my dog has lips. And he’s definitely
got a little pouty bottom lip, too.
W: What kind of dog?JF: He’s a little mutt. He’s
part Wheaton terrier, we think.
JG: Part asshole.
W: (laughs)JF: He’s part crazy.
JG: He’s great, but he’s a handful.
He’s nuts.
JF: That’s true. And he’s got a little
snaggletooth on the bottom. He’s got a little
underbite.
W: Awww... like Steve Buscemi.JF: (laughs) Yeah. He’s very cute.
JG: He’s in LolliLove. His name
is Dr. Wesley Von Spears.
JF: Yeah, that’s his full name. He has his
doctorate. It’s in two things, right?
JG: Anal sex.
W: (laughs)JF: No! He has a doctorate in... I can’t
remember.
JG: Pharmacology.
JF: It’s not pharmacology.
JG: Microbiology. He’s got a PhD in microbiology.
JF: Right.Interview available
in print issue #7!

ZACH
GALIFIANAKIS (COMEDIAN/ACTOR)
Night Watchman: In your professional opinion,
do dogs have lips?Zach Galifianakis: Lips?
N: Yeah.Z: (pauses) In my professional opinion, I can tell you that they do.
N: As a layperson?Z: As a layperson, I’m going to
have to say they don’t.
N: Is there a reason for that? Maybe something
in your training?Z: (pauses) I can’t really talk
about it.
N: Sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.Z: That’s alright.Interview available
in print issue #7!

UNTAPPED
TALENT: SHILOE (MUSICIANS)
Bethany Shady: Do dogs have lips?Melissa Pleckham: Yes.
Ken Ramos: Yes. They have some sort of thing that
flaps down there.
M: They have tails.
K: They drool a lot though, so... I don't know.
Does that mean that you don't have lips?
M: No, they have lips. Their lips are black.
Jenean Farris: Aren't their gums black?
M: Oh. I thought their lips were black, too.
J: We don't know much about dogs.
K: My dog has lips and they flap down. So, yes,
I will say they have lips.
M: Yeah, me too.
J: I don't think they do.
K: You don't think so?
J: No.
K: Go home and kiss your dog.Interview available
in print issue #7!

ANTHRAX'S
JOEY BELLADONNA (MUSICIAN)
Night Watchman: In your professional opinion,
do dogs have lips?Joey Belladonna: Lips? As in L-I-P?
N: Yeah. Lips.J: My dog’s got everything!
Both: (laugh)J: I guess they do have lips.
They’ve got that upper lip there. Yeah.
(laughs) I don’t know where that’s
coming from, but yeah. What made you ask that
question?
N: It started out as a weird argument among the
staff here at the magazine, and then we started
asking everyone we interview.J: He’s got a muzzle, so that’s
part of his lip, I guess.Read
the entire interview

JONATHAN
CARROLL (AUTHOR)
Night Watchman: Do dogs have lips?Jonathan Carroll: Do dogs have lips? That’s
interesting. Ummm... I don’t think so. But
a friend of mine trained his dalmatian to smile,
so that’s a really weird thing. Can someone
smile who doesn’t have lips? That’s
an interesting question. But Alphonse, he does.
He smiles on cue, so it’s kind of a tossup.
N: That’s a little disconcerting. I don’t
know what I would do if a dog smiled at me.J: It’s really weird. This guy told
me that dalmatians have this thing about the musculature
of their mouths, so they’re easily trainable.
But it’s weird. They go, "Alphonse,
smile." And there’s this big grin--
it’s pretty peculiar.Read
the entire interview

GREG
RUCKA (AUTHOR)
Nonnie: Do dogs have lips? Greg Rucka: Do dogs have lips? Yes, they
do. This is a question?
N: It is. We even have stickers with it on them.
It's sort of a staple of our marketing.G: Do dogs have lips? Yes, dogs do have
lips.Read
the entire interview

JEFFREY
WATTS (ARTIST)
Das Bork: In your opinion, do dogs have lips?Jeffrey Watts: Do dogs have lips?
D: (laughs) It's what we ask everyone we interview.J: (laughs) That's awesome!
D: Well, you've done a lot of anatomy, so maybe....J: (laughs) But not dog anatomy.
I've got no lips. I've got, like, chicken lips.
But do dogs have lips? Boy... I honestly don't
know. I don't have dogs. I have cats. I think
our cats have little lips.
D: Okay.
Both: (laugh)J: I don't know. I like dogs, but I never
grew up with them. I'm not a dog person. I'm a
cat person, so I don't know. I'd have to plead
the Fifth on that one.
D: Okay.J: It's a good question. I'll ponder it
now. Now I'll be looking at all these dogs. But
I don't know.
D: Yeah, it's just a debate here.
Both: (laugh)Read
the entire interview

JEREMY
LIPKING (ARTIST)
Das Bork: Do dogs have lips?Jeremy
Lipking: Boy... that's a good question.
D: Do you have dogs?J: I have one dog, but I don’t know.
D: It’s the debate here, and we haven’t
really come to a conclusion yet.J: Well, I would say... (pauses) no.Read
the entire interview

BLUEPRINT
(MUSICIAN)
Vinnie Baggadonuts: The last question I gotta
ask you is the one we ask everybody. It’s
the dog lip question.Blueprint: The dog lip question?
V: For the last seven years, just for our own
selfish pleasures, we’ve been asking everybody
if they think dogs have lips.B: You want to know if I think they do
or not?
V: Yeah. In your expert opinion.B: (pauses) No. Because if they did, they
could kiss you.
V: Yes!B: If dogs kiss you, they kiss you with
their nose, or they lick you.
V: Dude, you would not believe how many people
say yes. My theory is, if they had lips, they
could drink through a straw.B: (laughs)
V: You need lips to drink with a straw!B: That’s it, man! Yeah! They drink
with their tongues! They can’t use a straw!
V: Or drink out of cups!B: I don’t know who would say that
they actually have lips.
V: Dude, we called a veterinarian who said they
technically had lips. I was like, "You have
a degree! You cannot be serious!"
Both: (laugh)
V: I don’t think he understood what the
big deal was. Actually, I don’t know why
we even care.
Both: (laugh)Interview available
in print issue #8!

JOHN
LANDIS (DIRECTOR/WRITER/PRODUCER)
Wayne Chinsang: Final question, and it’s
one we ask everyone we interview: do dogs have
lips?John Landis: No, I'm pretty sure dogs
have no lips. Or at least I've never heard one
whistle before.Interview available
in print issue #8!

MINISTRY'S
AL JOURGENSEN (MUSICIAN)
Night Watchman: Do dogs have lips?Al Jourgensen: (laughs) I would say they
do, and I'll tell you why: it's kind of an interesting
theory, but darker-skinned females’ vaginal
lips look very similar to the lips on an Irish
Setter.
N: Okay.A: So I'm going to consider them dog lips.
That’s what I call the vulvic region of
a dark-skinned female, whether it be Latino or
black or Asian, or even brown-haired whites.
N: Right, right.A: You have that kind of brown part on
a lip, which definitely reminds me of an Irish
Setter, so I would have to say that dogs have
lips.
N: (laughs) Sounds like a good answer to me.A: (laughs) All right! Probably the first
one you've gotten a vaginal reference like that.
N: Yeah. Definitely a first.
Both: (laugh)Interview available
in print issue #8!

THE
WEST MEMPHIS THREE'S DAMIEN ECHOLS (PRISONER)
Wayne Chinsang: Do dogs have lips?Damien Echols: Of course dogs
have lips. Anyone who has never kissed a dog on
the lips can't be trusted.Interview available
in print issue #8!

BT
(MUSICIAN)
Wayne Chinsang: Do dogs have lips?BT: Oh, totally, dude! Absolutely! My
dog has lips. What's in question? (laughs)
W: That's what I'm saying.B: Totally. If someone wants to have a
Nerf boxing match to the death over if dogs have
lips, send 'em my way.
W: A Nerf boxing match to the death? That would
take, like, four years.
Both: (laugh)B: You're right. It would have to be a
street fight then.
W: A cage match.B: (laughs) Yeah, exactly. Or ultimate
fighting. But seriously, dogs totally have lips. I'm gonna have to send you a picture
of my dog's lips.
W: See, I have a dog too, and I think they totally
have lips. What kind of dog do you have?B: A Boston terrier.
W: Right on.B: And it totally has lips. Mine's got
big, kind of cute, mushy lips that are bigger
on the sides. Her muzzle is all black and white,
and her lips are jet-black.
W: They're just like big, wet, meaty lips.B: Yeah! She's got lips, dude! Dogs have
lips!
W: Exactly.
Both: (laugh)Interview available
in print issue #9!

CRISPIN
HELLION GLOVER (ACTOR/WRITER/DIRECTOR)
Night Watchman: In your professional opinion,
do dogs have lips?Crispin Hellion Glover: I would say yes,
dogs do have lips. (laughs)Interview available
in print issue #9!

GHOST
HUNTERS' GRANT WILSON & JASON HAWES (PLUMBERS)
Fphatty Lamar: In your professional opinions,
do dogs have lips?Jason Hawes and Grant Wilson: (laugh)
G: Do dogs have lips? Yeah, I think a lip is pretty
much that piece of muscle around the mouth, and
they certainly have those.
J: Yeah, I've got two dogs. They're both purebred
German shepherds, and they appear to have lips.
F: Okay.G: Why, what do you think?
F: Well, I saw a vet on TV years ago that said
dogs have a rim around their mouths, but they
don't have the muscles that human lips do. So
I suppose it depends on what your definition of
a "lip" is. But I say they don't, because
they don't have the same lip action that humans
do.G: Well, I don't know. Would you say a
fish has lips?
F: I don't know. I never heard a vet talk about
that. (laughs)G: See, I don't know....
F: Yeah. I know they taste good.
All: (laugh)G: I think the way to solve this debate
is to look up the word "lip" and see
what it says.
F: Right. We'll get Webster involved in this.Interview available
in print issue #9!

JACOB
PITTS (ACTOR)
Damien Echols: TLC's editor, Wayne Chinsang,
believes most interviews are just the foreplay
you have to put up with in order to get people
to answer the one all-important question: do dogs
have lips? What say you?Jacob Pitts: Seriously, you've fabricated
this entire interview.Interview available
in print issue #9!

MIKE
RELM (MUSICIAN)
Wayne Chinsang: Do dogs have lips?Mike Relm: (pauses) Damn.
W: (laughs)M: (pauses) Dogs... (pauses) dogs. It's
funny, because there is a Lady And The Tramp billboard right there (points out the window),
so I can check it out.
All: (laugh)M: They do, because I've kissed
a lot of dogs, and they have really nice lips.
W: Okay. Yeah, we've asked over 200 people that
question.M: (laughs) What's the best answer?
W: (pauses) It's hard to say. We've done so many
of them that they just all blend together. Fphatty
thinks they don't, but I think they do. The majority
of people we interview think they do.
Fphatty Lamar: But they're wrong.
All: (laugh)M: They're at least flaps.
F: They have ends of their cheeks. They don't
have muscles in their lips, so they don't have
lips.M: But they can totally pucker.
F: But it's coming from higher on the face, not
from the lips. You ever seen one drink through
a straw?M: Have you ever given one a chance to drink through a straw?
All: (laugh)
F: Yes! Every day!
All: (laugh)
F: I try and teach them kegling exercises with
their mouth to get them to do it.
All: (laugh)M: You put little weights on there....
All: (laugh)M: But I think they do. I'm gonna look
it up on the Internet.Interview available
in print issue #9!

THE
PRODIGY (MUSICIANS)
Wayne Chinsang: Do dogs have lips?Keith Flint: Do dogs have lips?
W: Yeah.Liam Howlett: Yeah. My dog has lips. He's
got one lip.
W: One?L: Yeah. A bottom lip.
[KEITH STARTS PULLING ON HIS OWN LIPS WHILE THINKING
OF A DOG'S FACE]K: (muffled) Yeah, they've got lips.
W: That's what I think.L: They've got three, because there are
kind of two on the top, because of the split.K: (muffled) Two there.L: And one on the bottom.
[KEITH IS PLAYING WITH HIS LIPS, AND STARTS TO
MUMBLE]
All: (laugh)
W: I wish I had a photo of that.
All: (laugh)Interview available
in print issue #9!

EVERYDAY
PEOPLE: FASHION NINJA'S AREKA IKELER (DESIGNER)
Anne Wilkowski: We ask this to all of the people
we interview: do dogs have lips?Areka Ikeler: Really? You ask that to everyone? (laughs)
A: Yeah. I actually wasn't sure if tastes
like chicken still did, but before I left
the house for this interview my husband Scott
said, "Are you gonna ask her? Are you gonna
ask her?"A: Yeah! They totally do.
A: Alright.A: I know this because Klaude-- my mom's
pug-- always pouts with his little lower lip.
So do dogs have lips? Yes.Interview available
in print issue #9!

UNTAPPED
TALENT: KANJA CHEN (PUPPETEER/PUPPET BUILDER)
Nonnie: Do dogs have lips?Kanja Chen: Is this a trick question?
Hmmm... let's see. I'd say yes, they do have lips. If they didn't have lips, then what's
the skin covering their teeth? (laughs) A dog
with no lips is a pretty scary thought.Interview available
in print issue #9!