I’m A Grandma

The clock on my phone reads 9:45pm. I squint at Daniel like he’s lost his mind. “What do you mean later?”

“Later tonight.”

I blink three times, slowly. I planned on scurrying home and brewing a fresh mug of chamomile. I planned on stretching out the tendonitis in my wrists and wishing the dog sweet dreams. I planned on tidying my shoes and checking the status of my teeth. I planned on saying my prayers.

This was about the point I realized: I am a 22-year-old grandma.

I’ve always been an old soul. I knew it when my friends squealed over a game of tag and I would slump and sigh and say, “can’t we just sit and talk?”

They tease me, to this day.

Growing up, I felt bad. I was forever the voice of reason, the stick in the mud. I was no fun. I viewed TP-ing a cute boy’s house as a desperate cry for attention. I thought pranks were mean. Running was exhausting, so why play tag? Hide-and-go-seek was a terrible game of how long can you hide until your bladder explodes–last one to the bathroom is the winner!

No one taught me to be this way.

People ask me if I’ve changed since middle school. I haven’t grown since middle school—in any way.

I’m terrified of falling. I judge you silently behind my monocle. I don’t stay out late. I don’t drink. And I will pound you if you eat the last strawberry yogurt in the fridge without “putting it on the list.”

I think I’m a fun person because I watch all the kid movies as soon as they hit the theater, and I’m witty. I never say no to frozen yogurt after church on Sundays. My goal is to own one cardigan in every color and then I will never be cold. I know how to knit.

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6 thoughts on “I’m A Grandma”

Here’s to being a grandma! I’m totally the same. I have the same bedtime on the weekends as I do during the week. The craziest thing I’d do would be to stay up one hour later than usual. Otherwise, I read, I watch youtube videos, I color my book… As for exciting, sometimes I go out with friends during the weekend and explore something new. That’s how intense it gets lol