Super cruel

Super Splatform is an inelegant lump of twitchy, tilty retro platforming frustration that doesn't so much wear its inspiration on its sleeve as it does include a copy of the original Commodore 64 version from 2002 in its main menu.

It's old fashioned in a way that only games that weren't even around in the old days can be, and save for some screaming tape noise and the bickering of grubby handed children it could easily be dumped into some '80s flashback without anyone questioning its authenticity.

The actual game underneath the rose-tinted frippery is pretty solid, with tilt controls that just about work, and a reasonable balance between outbursts of parent-shaming expletives and the compulsion to have one more try.

Tilt to live

There are three versions of the game on show, but they all revolve around the same principal. You're a constantly bouncing ball, and you need to navigate a world that's entirely made up of platforms.

You tilt your device to change the angle of your jump, and if you miss a platform it's more than likely Game Over.

The Super Splatform section of the game is slightly less retro, with chiselled 8-bit edges and specific goals. Then there's the Classic version of the game, which is all grey platforms and infinite black backgrounds.

Finally, there's an Endless mode that sees you bouncing upwards as far as you can, with the backgrounds and platforms changing the further you get. All of these modes are tinged with the potential for rage.

They demand pixel-perfect control, and then make you use the flappiest of all possible inputs - tilting. The game revels in the cute / cruel argument at its heart, and while the backgrounds might be all blue skies, the core is a red, twisted, angry thing.

Old schooled

There's no subtlety to Super Splatform, and very little refinement either. It is what it does, and what it does it does pretty well. It starts off hard and maintains that trajectory until whatever bitter end you manage to concoct for it.

This is stripped down platforming in its rawest form, full of death and endless restarts. It's not for the faint of heart, or the haters of tilt, but for those who persevere there's an experience here that's not quite the same as anything else on the App Store.