Seeing someone tripping up, especially if they attempt to "style it out" by breaking into a silly jog.Hearing a woman fart.Seeing a fat person do something typically "fat" (taking a low-cal sandwich to the tills before picking up a family size chocolate bar with their fingertips, so as to lessen the calorific content somehow).

A bogie that is part moist and part crusted is a thing of beauty. If I really have to work it out of the nostril and it gives the sensation of being attatched to the frontal lobe of my brain then even better!

Getting the last one of something. Last coronation chicken sandwich? Don't mind if I do.Double droppers in the snack machine in the office.The Millwall fan at work keeping schtum about our recent 3-0 reversal at Reading because he knows his team are cack and I will slate him into the ground.

An ever so slightly protracted exchange of eye contact with someone of the opposite sex. Usually it's preferable than talking to that same person.

When you pull off something outrageous on the football pitch, everyone on the opposite team knows you've just totally destroyed them to the extent you don't even need to celebrate, just have a wry smile to yourself and await the inevitable kicking you are likely to receive for the rest of the game.

Sitting down with and lifting the lid up of the ****ing massive meaty and spicy pizza you just ordered right as the main titles to that film you put on kick in.