Path 2

Path 2

NY Mirror

July 9, 2002

What famous African American couple is bi? What old-time actor, when he has to wear a wig in a movie, has them put it on over his wig, rather than take the thing off and let anyone know it’s a fake? (As if they’d think it isn’t.) What married TV mastermind slept with his dysfunctional star? What talk-show diva demanded Pratesi sheets for a hotel segment and gorgeously left them covered in blood from her period? Who knew she was still having her period? What legend neglects to tell people that she was once married to a military man, but broke it off when she found him in bed with another guy? (This casts doubt on her claim to have been a virgin till she was a certain age—or does it?) What movie funnyman is such a pampered weirdie that when he was unhappy with the air-conditioning at a photo shoot, he didn’t just say something about it—he rang up his agent and had him call in to complain?

What TV star who’s supposed to be straight (in fact, he dated that indie actress) was once spotted drunk at Les Hommes? What pretty lady came on to her trainer and was rebuffed, so now she’s made it clear that heads will roll if he ever uses her name in his bio again? What ex-teen movie cutie slept with that surly superstar and says he’s got the tiniest known wee-wee in the galaxy (which might explain a lot, actually)? What model insists he wasn’t padded in the crotch for those ads, and he’s right—he was computer-enhanced? What ’70s comedy lady had a lesbian fling with that ’70s blond bombshell, making for the oddest showbiz pairing since Fric and Frac?

What TV expert lives with her girlfriend, and, by the way, supposedly made her initial nut by ripping off one of her lesbian pals? What other expert who submitted an outfit to a show’s staff for steaming clearly didn’t realize the pants were covered with caca? (Staffers quickly dubbed him “Poopypants.”) What conflicted ’60s starlet won’t go to a certain drag club because they practice “sin” there? What Oscar-winning actress can be spotted skipping around her bed in a ball gown, also laying out her clothes all around the bed and curling up in the middle for some bizarre, unexplained ritual? What esteemed actor was gleefully puffing on a joint when he walked up the Golden Globes red carpet (and guess what, he also does blow)?

What legend’s lady was later married to a producer, but found out the guy had a chickie on the side, so she wisely gave him the dump and moved on to another musician? What Brit starlet refused to do a topless scene in her next movie, but not for ethical reasons—she’d just had a boob job and the scars would have shown? What macho film star who makes kazillions has parents who live more humbly in cheapo, subsidized New York housing? What blond comic film actress was so drunk at that downtown hotel that she had to be escorted to her room by an employee? What cultural institution’s head has a lesbian daughter who’s currently involved in a really ugly custody battle? (The daughter’s girlfriend, meanwhile, has moved on to a gay guy.)

What enduring star’s more-than-manager tried to weasel an extra $5000 out of that recent event for hair and makeup fees, claiming he didn’t originally know the event was going to be taped for TV (though he did)? How much did he settle for? (Free answer: $1500.) What same star got $3200 for hair and makeup for another event, but actually did her own? What teen group member was spotted at a party, elegantly licking white powder off his finger? What local dancing drag diva is so well hung she has a hard time tucking (not that I’ve ever seen it, mind you)?

What navel-baring actress-turned-singer won’t do interviews unless you agree to not bring up her breasts and her ex-boyfriends? Who gives a shit about either? What TV-stage-movie starlet’s people wouldn’t let me interview her for a gay mag, but pushed me to sit her down for the Voice, then promptly killed that option too, just because they could? What rising actress blatantly appears drunk and/or strung out at high-profile events (though she misses some completely, notably skipping a big photo shoot promo-ing her next movie because she was “sick”)? What scrumptious young actor—a supporting player in one of last year’s minor dramas—is terrified people might think he’s gay (he’s not), though he brazenly showed up at a Britney Spears concert? What reality-TV star took a test drive into gay sex territory, but freaked out and denied it when a queer magazine approached him for an interview? What female reality-TV star has been a little cooler about her same sex-ing, though she hasn’t exactly come out as a muffdiver in print?

Won’t you tell us a little more about Rosie O’Donnell‘s new comedy shtick, Mikey? (Sure, kids. In the act I recently caught, Rosie said that one of her girlfriend Kelli‘s relatives implored her, “Can’t you just live across the street from each other, marry men, and be friends?” and Rosie replied, “But I want to have sex with her!”) Ooh, ooh, can you tell us some more? (Sure thing. Rosie said that when her son Parker was asked by friends why he has two mommies, he unflinchingly replied, “Gay—ever heard of it?”) What’s the new Morocco? (“Cuba!” says club legend Kenny Kenny.)

Who did Jennifer Gatien—Peter’s daughter—stay with after she broke up with Cameron Douglas—Michael’s son? (His mother, Diandra Douglas, according to my spies.) Who really owns the soon- to-reopen Limelight? (Flatiron Entertainment, co-owned by well-liked club impresario John Blair, who’ll run the place—but a Chelsea Clinton News article quotes a community organizer saying, “I think Blair is the puppet king. They gave him 10 percent and call him an owner. It’s just spin.” Whispers say Spa and Exit owner David Marvisi may be quietly involved, but ex-owner Peter Gatien told me last year that he wasn’t negotiating to sell to Marvisi, and Blair has told me he’s a front man for no one. Whoever’s in charge, just put me on the list!) What will the new Limelight be called? (Empire, reports cable guy Barry Z.)

Who became too busy to go through with a planned appearance at Victor Calderone‘s Provocateur bash on Gay Pride weekend, canceling two weeks before? (The full-plated Jennifer Lopez.) Who obviously loves gay guys? (Penélope Cruz. She recently put down dough for a place in Chelsea!) Where else can you find the queens? (At John Street, a Friday-night party at a remote drinkhole named Downtown Bar. The bash is done by the old Magnum and XXX promoters, though this time the patrons will probably be either less raunchy or less vocal about it.) What porn star is a nut? (Jeff Palmer, who says he was poz, but stopped taking his medication and is fine now, gleefully receiving cum up every orifice. His secret? “I don’t drink coffee, alcohol, Coke, or Sprite. I sleep really good. I stay away from sugar. I drink lots of water. I don’t do drugs—and pot is not a drug—and I don’t stress myself with fear. My Lord provided me with the guide I asked for.”)

What’s poor Winona Ryder‘s first line in her next movie, Simone? (Picking through a rack of clothes, she says, “This, this . . . not this.”) What’s the saucy secret behind that old-time singer still making the rounds? (Gay—ever heard of it?) Who loves ya?