9 Married Couples Share Why They Renewed Their Vows

When married couples renew their wedding vows, they shout to the world that they'd do it all over again, while acknowledging the challenges and struggles they've overcome, says marriage and family therapist Marc Bachrach of Bellevue, WA. "Whether it's done as a couple over an anniversary dinner, or in front of friends and family, speaking the words out loud reminds them of the essential elements of their marriage." Here, we asked nine couples about the milestones, challenges, and changes that prompted their decision to re-commit.

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Holy Matrimony

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Ginny R., 61, and Bob D., 58, currently of Ringwood, NJ, originally tied the knot at a country club. It was the second marriage for both. "My mom was extremely disappointed that we didn't marry in the Catholic church, but Bob was Presbyterian," Ginny says. She promised her mother that they would remarry in a Catholic ceremony one day. Twenty-one years later, she kept that promise after her former husband had their marriage annulled. "By that time Bob was willing to convert," she says. Sadly, her mother wasn't alive to see it. "It was extremely meaningful for me to marry in the church where I grew up," says Ginny.

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Annual Renewal

Courtesy of Melanie Massell

Shortly after they married, Melanie Massell, 56, and Jack Jacobs, 76, of Bradenton, FL, heard a couple on the radio talking about how they renewed their vows every year. They decided to make the idea their own by adding a travel component. The first year they had a simple ceremony at a country chapel in Gatlinburg, TN, and in each year since, they've ventured farther. On their 10th anniversary, they traveled to Bora Bora; on their 20th, they took a cruise from Barcelona to Venice. In between, they've had ceremonies in 28 states including at the Four Corners Monument where New Mexico, Colorado, Arizona and Utah intersect. "One of my favorite ceremonies was at the Jail House Inn in Preston, MN," says Melanie. "I wore my fancy lace top with striped slacks and Jack had on striped jail-bird pajamas."

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Love Me Tender

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When Lisa Gleim and Bill Jonas of Atlanta reached the 10-year mark, they debated where to celebrate. "He wanted to see Las Vegas, and I agreed on the condition that we renew our vows at the Graceland Elvis Chapel," says Lisa, 45. A limo picked the Gleims up at the Wynn Hotel and whisked them away to the beautiful stone chapel, where they lined up behind other couples according to reservation time. The couple behind them had dressed as Elvis and Cleopatra for the occasion. A tall, skinny Elvis walked Lisa down the aisle as the King's songs played in the background. "Our vows were in 'Elvis speak'," Gleim says. She promised not to step on his blue suede shoes, and Bill, 47, promised not to be a hound dog.

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False Start

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Beth, 44, and Jared Curry, 38, had been living together for three years when she was offered a job in another state. When the couple decided to move, 50 friends and relatives attended their civil ceremony. "I was 23 and Jared, 18, and somehow I knew it wasn't right time, but I went through with it anyway," Beth says. Money problems surfaced immediately, and since they were away from family and friends, the couple lacked a support system. Within a year, they separated, but didn't divorce. A year later, they reunited. "Sometimes you don't appreciate what you have until you don't have it anymore," she says. To recommit to the marriage, they had a quiet renewal ceremony on the Jersey shore, officiated by the same Justice of the Peace who had married them. "It was perfect," Beth says. "I wore a sundress and we were all barefoot. My sister was our only witness. It's been 16 years since that renewal ceremony, and our marriage remains solid."

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The Accidental Renewal

Courtesy of the Schroders

Jan and Chris Schroder of Atlanta are both travel journalists. When the couple, age 55 and 60, were offered a romantic press trip to Hawaii, they jumped at the chance to celebrate their eighth anniversary on the islands. "Somewhere in the paperwork was a question asking if we wanted to renew our vows. I said 'yes' then promptly forgot about it," says Jan. The Schroders were running late for dinner with the group on Waikiki Beach when they were met by the trip guide, who hurried them out to the beach. They had no idea what was about to happen. Within minutes they were barefoot in the sand, sharing a vow renewal ceremony with another couple staying at the Outrigger Waikiki resort, while ukuleles played and a woman sang the Hawaiian wedding song. Since the service was in Hawaiian, they didn't understand the words, but the meaning was clear. "Instead of kissing, we put our foreheads together in the native style just as a rainbow appeared on the horizon," says Jan. "It was really quite moving."

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Venetian Vows

Courtesy of the Floreses

After some upheaval, both personally and professionally, Catherine and Marc Flores of Houston, ages 37 and 40, decided it was time for a re-set on their 10th anniversary. They planned to renew their vows in Austin where she had attended college, then go on a second honeymoon, but when Catherine's father asked where they wanted to go, she named Italy; Marc, Croatia. A few weeks later, Catherine's parents surprised them with a cruise from Venice to Croatia. Even better, they would be joining them for a few days in Venice. Planning the occasion from across the pond proved a little challenging, but the couple got permission from the hotel in Venice to have a simple ceremony in the courtyard. They arranged for music and photography, and Catherine made a bouquet from felt and silk flowers and a matching corsage for her mother. "It was beyond perfect, a lifetime memory, made even more special because my mother had cancer," says Catherine. "My dad, a lawyer, recited words from his heart, and as the music played, the photographer's camera clicked away. Afterward, we continued the celebration over dinner." For Catherine, the moment is frozen in perpetuity. "My mom died in 2005, and I'm so grateful that we were able to share the occasion with her."

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Fifty Years and Counting

Courtesy of Al and Bobbie

Only 6% of couples reach the 50-year mark, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. When Bobbie, 77, and Alfred, 83, of San Jose, CA, learned that their church would hold its annual vow-renewal service near the date of their 50th anniversary, they signed up. Of about a hundred couples present, several were celebrating their 25th, a few their 50th, and one union had 73 years together. The husband was a WWII Bataan Death March survivor. Alfred was recovering from pneumonia at the time, but their sons helped him when he faltered, says Bobbie. "We received a blessing from the bishop and a certificate marking the occasion," she says. A reception for the honorees and their families followed the ceremony.

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Valentine's Day

Courtesy of the Ezells

Marrying on the day made for lovers seemed a good idea in 1980 for Reva and Hank Ezell, then in their 60s. She was Jewish; he was Methodist. They were married at home in a secular service conducted by a Unitarian minister. By their 25th anniversary, Hank had converted to Judaism, so the couple had a recommitment ceremony performed by their good friend Rabbi Brett Isserow in Fairfax, VA. "We stood under a chupah [a canopy symbolizing the creation of a new family] made from the rabbi's prayer shawl," says Reva. "Recommitments are wonderfully stress-free because there are none of the usual worries of 'Is he the right one? Will everything go as planned? Will our families get along'? Ours was a forever match, and we loved sharing our joy with people close to us."

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Maui Vow-y

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Kelly Meister, 41, grew up Mormon; her husband, Neal, 42, was a convert. Fifteen years into the marriage, Kelly had given up the religion to live life on her own terms. "Most couples who leave the Mormon church divorce, but because our relationship was based on love, not church affiliation, it became even stronger," she says. For their 20th, the Meisters decided to redefine themselves with a ceremony in Maui. Kelly had missed walking down the aisle the first time, since Mormon couples kneel together instead. "I needed that moment," she says. The minister or "Kahu" blew a conch shell as Kelly walked barefooted through the sand to meet Neal near the water's edge. "Rain earlier in the day chased the beach-goers away, so we were virtually alone on the beach," she says. "Everything was perfect."

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