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THE WINDS OF WINTER’s release date has been the subject of speculation for a very long time now - and it’s now the subject of a brilliant gag online.

The next instalment in A Song of Ice and Fire is expected to be released in the near future, although at this rate it may well hit shelves after Game of Thrones - the TV show it inspired - finishes for good.

“Has anyone written an SNL skit yet were @GRRMspeaking gets sick of the next-book-release-date whinging and snaps and just dashes out a final 10-page book making it as awful as he is capable of doing,” they wrote - before posting what it could very well be.

“‘YOU WANT THE BOOK NOW? YOU WANT IT NOW? FINE! HERE IT IS! TYRION BECOMES A WIGHT AND GOES AROUND PUNCHING PEOPLE IN THE D**K! ARYA FINDS HER DIREWOLF BUT SANSA EATS IT! HODOR COMES BACK BUT HE TELLS JOKES NOW!’

“‘JON SNOW OPENS JON SNOW, A SHAVED ICE STAND, IN KING'S LANDING! THE LAST THREE PAGES ARE A BUDDY COMEDY WITH HIM AND BRON! THEY SOLVE CRIMES!’

“‘THE DRAGONS LEARN TO BEATBOX! CERSEI GIVES BRIENNE A MAKEOVER AND THEY BOND! BRAN HITS HIS HEAD AND NOW HE CAN ONLY SEE THROUGH THE EYES OF GEESE!’”

They went on: “‘THE DRAGONS LEARN TO BEATBOX! CERSEI GIVES BRIENNE A MAKEOVER AND THEY BOND! BRAN HITS HIS HEAD AND NOW HE CAN ONLY SEE THROUGH THE EYES OF GEESE!'

Dead Game of Thrones characters still alive in The Winds of Winter

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Hodor

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The Boltons

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Lord Petyr Baelish

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Tommen Baratheon

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Myrcella Baratheon

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The Tyrells

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The High Sparrow

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Stannis Baratheon

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Barristan Selmy

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Brynden Tully

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Jeyne Westerling (Talisa Maegyr)

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Hizdahr zo Loraq

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Doran Martell

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Shireen Baratheon

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Selyse Baratheon

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Lady Stark/Lady Stoneheart

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Mance Rayder

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Walder Frey

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“‘THE REMAINING STARK KIDS LEARN THEY HAVE A COUSIN NAMED OLIVER! GREY WORM QUESTS TO FIND A POTION TO GROW NEW GENITALS ONLY HE SPILLS IT AND A D**K GROWS OUT OF HIS HAND AND HE BASES A NEW MARTIAL ART AROUND IT!’

“‘JAMIE DROPS HIS GOLD HAND DOWN THE PRIVY AND HILARITY ENSUES! SANDORE CLEGANE ADOPTS A PUPPY WHO TEACHES HIM HOW TO LOVE AGAIN!’”

The faux-rant has amassed hundreds of likes on Twitter - as the wait for TWOW continues.

Very little is known about its plot and format, although fan theories have been in no short supply.

Recently it was suggested on Reddit that Brienne of Tarth could kill one character in particular in the book - and it may not have anything whatsoever to do with what's simultaneously happening in the TV show.

Whether or not TWOW does find its way to shops this year, there will definitely be at least something for fans: Fire and Blood is a new companion book, the first volume of which is due before the year is out.