The Dynamic Flag | Victoria Oldridge

August 5, 2014 3:25 PM

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Last week a friend messaged me, 'You're the woman that proves you can have it all and do it all.' And therein lies one of the most controversial notions of my generation of women and mothers, in our pervasive quest to not just manage the most meaningful aspects of our lives, including our personal aspirations, but to thrive in the process -- to recognize the invisible yet highly conspicuous neon-colored flag that each of us wears daily, that screams, "I'm in training!", while we grapple with life's winds caught in it, throwing us off balance as we attempt to push the flag back into alignment. At first glance I was uncomfortable when I read the message. It's one thing to have it all, but an entirely different story to do it all. With immense gratitude for all that I do indeed have, I wasn't however, convinced that I wasn't doing it all without some windburn and daily discomfort by the drag of my flag.

When we observe a woman who successfully raises children, enjoys an abiding marriage, creates time for friends, and happily flows through her career -- each puzzle piece in succession a better fit than the last, the rest of us ogle her and wonder what the secret is. While many might hastily jump to ...