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Find The Prostate

Before you get started, be sure you know how to comfortably insert your finger inside the anus. Take it as slowly as he needs you to. Guys doing this solo, that goes for you, too. This isn’t a race and if you go faster than feels good, you might not enjoy prostate massage as much as you could.

It’s also a really good idea for him to be aroused before you begin. He’s much more likely to find it pleasurable if he is aroused to begin with, especially if he is new to prostate massage and anal penetration.

Once you’ve inserted a lubricated finger, curl the fingertip toward the belly, 3-4 inches inside and right along the midline of the body. See if you can locate the prostate. It is about the size of a walnut, and the shape and texture of a small plum – firm and spongy. If your fingers are on the shorter end of the range, you may need to press in a little deeper (which will only work if his pelvic muscles are relaxed and flexible enough to allow this).

Most men who enjoy prostate massage say they need firm pressure to feel prostate pleasure. Soft caresses might feel nice, but probably won’t bring up the particular pleasurable sensations that men associate with prostate massage.

The prostate tends to grow with age and is usually bigger in older men. That often makes it easier to locate in older guys. The prostate also swells up during arousal, so it will feel physically larger and may be easier to locate if you get him turned on before you look for it. So if you’re having difficulty finding it or you aren’t sure, start off with oral sex, a hand job, kissing, or anything else he enjoys.

As you look for the prostate, ask him to tell you if you press on an area that feels different, or particularly pleasurable. When you first make contact, he might feel like he needs to pee, just as a lot of women find when they’re new to G-spot stimulation. It’s actually a good sign that you’re in the right spot and with a little practice, he’ll be able to relax into this sensation and let it pass without worrying that he might actually pee. Going to the bathroom before you get started can make this easier.

One good way to know if you’re in the right area is to bring the receiver to orgasm through penis massage. At ejaculation, the prostate swells dramatically and contracts repeatedly. That’s when it’s beginning to squeeze out its fluids, which make up a part of semen. You can feel this with your finger during the massage, and that makes it pretty easy to identify the location of the gland if you aren’t sure!

The Prostate is Not a “Magic Button”

It’s important to remember that the prostate isn’t a “magic button.” Some people imagine that the prostate will feel instantly incredible the moment they find it and massage it. And as a result, when they think they have found it but he isn’t overwhelmed by pleasure, they assume that they just aren’t stimulating the right area. Well, sometimes they might not be in the right spot, but it is also possible to massage the gland and not have it feel like you might expect.

Some men have amazing experiences the first time out. Others might not feel much of anything. It might just feel really strange. Plenty of men don’t get the really good feelings right away. In addition to practicing and learning where the prostate is and which kinds of stimulation work best for you, you may find that your body just needs some time to learn how to eroticize these unfamiliar sensations. This also happens for some people who explore the G-spot.

If you’re looking for suggestions or inspiration, pick up a copy of our book. You’ll find lots of ideas, tips to make it easier and more fun, and all the info you need to explore and enjoy prostate pleasure!