Day 158: Best Friend Sunday

by Wendy StrgarJune 06, 2010

“My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.” -Henry Ford

We are not given many best friends in a life. Even if you don’t ascribe to the belief in reincarnation, there is something unique and extraordinary about how a best friend hears exactly what you mean when you speak. They laugh at all the right moments and can crack your heart open just by the tilt of their head in the middle of a story. I had a Sunday holiday today with my best friend, Sarah. I met her when I was 20 and she handed me her kid and her car keys and we embarked on a sisterhood through life.

Sarah and I have not lived near each other for many years and sometimes there are years that go by before we are able to see into each other’s eyes again. Yet, even after years, it seems like yesterday since I have been with her. Our truest friendships are like that, they are like the stars, ever present, even without proximity. Often our best friendships change and shift with the phases of our life. My first experience of what unconditional love meant happened when I was still a girl and have learned what love means through her presence for 25 years.

Emerson said, “A friend is one before whom I may think aloud,” whereas with a best friend, not only are all your thoughts free to roam and express, but the reflection back shows you the most noble and generous parts of who you are. Even at my worst, in the throes of post partum depression (4 times), Sarah could make me laugh and remind me of what was beautiful in me. At my most afraid and vulnerable, time with Sarah made me feel strong.

Sharing the positivity quest work with Sarah has a bit of déjà vu, because years ago we spent months together memorizing and manifesting the 50 principles of miracles in a small French town. The discipline and daily practice of belief and faith gave us a glimpse into the power of positivity in a way that neither of us could fully understand at the time. We were always lucky together, because our love made us golden. Sharing my lessons about the positivity quest is like remembering the magic of miracles from years ago while being able to explain how it works.

I have been carrying a four leaf clover in my wallet inside a note that Sarah gave me years ago that told me that I had the courage to let myself be loved. I have held onto that note and clover for my entire adult life which has reminded me in my loneliest moments that it is Sarah herself is my four leaf clover, hard to find and lucky to have.

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Wendy Strgar

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Also in Making Love Sustainable

It is only in the present moment – in the instant of here and now – that our experience takes on any real meaning or offers us any truth. Squandering our attention on the regrets of yesterday or the anticipation of tomorrow’s worries is how we distract ourselves from our real power and flame the fire of our deepest fears.

For the record, I am not a scientist. I got close when I married a scientist. He was all about Chemistry and Biology, and became a physician. I was always the one more intrigued by our personal chemistry, which was ultimately what tipped me over to his research at the crossroads of human biology and chemistry. Necessity was the mother of invention as I worked to find a solution to the vaginal dryness and painful sex that increasingly weighed on our interpersonal chemistry as we grew our family.

For me it is always the advent of spring, as the light returns and the Earth proclaims the green possibility of renewal everywhere, that my questions of how I am living takes on new urgency. Understanding why I act in the ways that I do, how I respond or don’t to the people in my life, and what I am creating with my time here seems the only matter of true importance. The most powerful way that I have discovered to work with these questions has been through setting better intentions.

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