Friday, February 27, 2009

Once a rite of passage for drunken sailors and outlaws, in the most recent generation of adults, tattoos have become a growing trend and social statement. Some people do it because they perceive it as being cool; some find it sexy; some find it a conversation piece; some find it an act of rebellion, some find it attractive and more recently it has become a way to honor and memorialize someone who is missed and loved.

This growing use of memorial tattoos is making something of a comeback. Historically, these have been amongst the most popular images of body art. People have always needed a way to grieve, honor and remember lost loved ones and tattoos have provided a very personalized way to memorialize someone. To those who have gotten a memorial tattoo on their body it has provided a deep meaning and ever present connection with the deceased.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Over the last few weeks I have been watching one of my favorite TV programs, The Naked Archaeologist ( http://www.visiontv.ca/NakedArchaeologist/index2.htm ) with Simcha Jacobovici ( http://www.simchaj.ca/blog/ ) when I realized that he was looking at grave sites and bones. You see, archaeologists often dig up areas and find buildings, pyramids, mounds that they say were once great cities, but to find bones is a real score. To find a grave site with bones and artifacts and clothes can tell a lot about a person and about a society and its culture.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Burial at Sea is a means of final disposition of remains that is performed on United States Navy vessels. The committal ceremony is performed while the ship is deployed. Therefore, family members are not allowed to be present. The commanding officer of the ship assigned to perform the ceremony will notify the family of the date, time, and, longitude and latitude once the committal service has been completed.

Eligibility: Individuals eligible for this program are: (1) active duty members of the uniformed services; (2) retirees and veterans who were honorably discharged. (3) U.S. civilian marine personnel of the Military Sealift Command; and (4) dependent family members of active duty personnel, retirees, and veterans of the uniformed services.

How to get Started: After the death of the individual for whom the request for Burial at Sea is being made, the Person Authorized to Direct Disposition (PADD) should print out and complete the linked Burial at Sea Request Form. [This is a .PDF file. The software to download and print this file is available at no charge to anyone who wishes a copy.] Supporting documents which must accompany this request are: (1) a photocopy of the death certificate; (2) the burial transit permit or the cremation certificate; and (3) a copy of the DD Form 214, discharge certificate, or retirement order. The Burial at Sea Request Form and the three supporting documents make up the Burial at Sea Request package.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

There are numerous differences between hospice and the medical model from hospitals.

Hospice

In hospice, patient comfort is a top priority. While hospice acknowledges that a patient is terminal, it tries to make the most of the patients’ last days. Caretakers want the patient to be comfortable. Narcotics and opioid medication can be given in large doses for comfort. Often the patient has a PCP, a Personal Care Pump in which narcotics are self administered to reduce pain. Morphine and Demerol, strong Class II narcotics are used for pain palliation. Cure is not expected. Comfort is offered. Social workers, counselors, and nurses are available to the family to help the patient make final days dignified and bearable.

When a family takes care of a terminal patient, they usually understand that no life saving measures will be offered once a patient enters hospice. If the heart stops beating or if respirations cease, a code will not be called, and the patient will expire. The nurses are assistant coroners and will pronounce the patient dead. Pastoral care can be offered, and hospice staff helps the family make final arrangements. Relationships are made prior to the death, and the hospice staff helps the patient and family with final good byes. Most hospice workers offer compassion, information, and empathy. Patient comfort is a top priority, and family is encouraged to visit.

When I first got the book, I was under the impression that More Than Meets the Eye by author Yvonne Perry was going to be primarily about near-death experiences (NDE) and the spiritual aspects involved with such an experience. While there are certainly chapters devoted to the NDE, I am happy to report the book is about so much more than that. It was an intriguing combination of analysis, personal experience, collected and collective stories. Perry graduated from the American Institute of Holistic Theology with a degree in Metaphysics which allowed her a solid background to explore the subject. This book is filled with well-researched details about everything you might want to know about death, dying, and afterlife.

One of the chapters I especially enjoyed was called Souls and Ceremonies. It was filled with information about burial, embalming, and cremation with historical and modern citations about laws surrounding each of these processes. I’ve often thought a funeral pyre would be a great way to say goodbye if our society could handle it. Instead, I’ll probably just be cremated behind closed doors and handed over to my loved ones in a tidy little urn. My grandmother always wanted to be buried in a plain pine box but apparently, in Minnesota, there are laws for how well the box must be constructed. After reading this chapter, I want to find out more for her.

I was intrigued by the chapters discussing the afterlife and NDEs. The author, Yvonne Perry, grew up in a fundamentalist Christian church and that’s where she spent her time until she was forty years old. Then she began to explore other spiritualities. I found it interesting because my history is almost the opposite of hers. I spent years studying Taoism, Buddhism, and Paganism then spent time in Christianity, then left for more Buddhism and have returned fully to a liberal Christianity but not in order to follow by rote what others tell me to believe. I believe in the Christ. I also believe whole-heartedly in reincarnation. As a student of Christian theology, my beliefs about God are wider than the little box many to which many ascribe for the Divine, starting with my Christian brothers and sisters. And, Perry does a fine job of exploring the afterlife from both her own understanding of metaphysics and religion as well as the understanding within different spiritual/faith communities.

The only real problem I had with the book was the personal stories that were in italics. Some only had a brief mention of the storyteller which made it hard to keep up with who was telling the story. This was primarily an issue of how it was formatted for these sequences. The stories were good, just a little vague about who was telling them. Of course, I read quickly with a tendency to skim until something jumps out at me. So, it may be my own method of reading that triggered the problem.

With chapters on Hospice care, suicide, euthanasia as well as ceremonies, near-death and out of body experiences this 166-page book lives up to its title. I think the book works because Perry takes a thoughtful approach to these subjects, neither forcing her views onto the reader but also not shying away from subjects that many readers might not know about or understand. I had never heard of walk-in souls as she described in Chapter Seven: I Don’t Like it Here (Dealing With Suicide). It was a completely new idea to me and one I’ll read more about.

The book didn’t have time to get dull with the very approachable blend of statistics, facts, other people’s stories and Perry’s own story. It was a quick-read but one you can go back to again and again to go a little deeper. There were some helpful items found at the end of the book. A copy of a Living Will and Warning Signs of Suicide were included as well as a Bibliography listing her many resources.

Overall, I would recommend this book to any person who is either curious or struggling with any of these issues. It was enjoyable, thought-provoking, and I know I will return to it when I meditate on these topics.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Helping elders and their families feel vital and empowered is a movement, a call to action, an awakening to positive change. And so when Natalie Tucker Miller, founder of Ageless-Sages picture books for Elders™, speaks we all listen.

As I sit with my friend Lilah, weeks after her stroke, she indicates that her heart is telling her it’s time to move on. It’s easy to feel gratitude for my beautiful elder friend, yet waves of grief are present as well.

Saying good-bye to friends is just part of the package of befriending elders. The honor of being in the presence of people who have embraced the next leg of their journey is a gift I receive over and over and only hope I can adequately pay forward!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

To say that the death of a loved one is a difficult time is an understatement. Every person is a unique individual and the ways in which we react to the passing of someone about whom we care are just as unique.

Though death is inevitable, very often, we’re not prepared to lose a loved one—no matter what the circumstances. Our minds and our bodies go through changes during the process of grieving. The amount of stress—especially on those closest to the deceased—is often overwhelming.

And, yet, the death of a friend or family member is one of the times when we are called upon to be our strongest and are faced with decisions and situations that may seem beyond our understanding or control.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

My brother-in-law died suddenly when he fell from a ladder in 2007. We drove to Maryland where we celebrated Don's life and visited with my husband's family. Don was cremated so there was no physical body for anyone to ogle. Don was an avid fisherman and loved to be near the water. It only seemed appropriate that his celebration was held at the beach house of some dear friends who live on the eastern shore. Each person who wanted to speak was given a turn to share a story about Don. Afterward, Jimmy Buffet music played and margaritas flowed as some cried, others laughed at the memories they shared. I think I cried enough for everyone there; not because Don was gone, but because of the love everyone was expressing so easily.

Don really isn't gone. His presence was sweet and strong all day. Many felt him near and told how he has appeared to them since his passing. Some members of the family called a dear psychic friend of mine, Reverend Cherise Thorne who had offered to connect with Don's spirit and give a message from the Other Side (http://www.knowingspirit.org). Cherise's message was so comforting that the family was hardly showing any emotional disturbance. This was perplexing to me so I asked a few of them how they were able to be so strong. Their reply was consistent, "Because Don is here. He is not gone!" I believe that. When a wreath of flowers was tossed into the water, it turned around and headed right back into the bay near the house. It stayed there all afternoon in spite of the wind blowing in every direction. This, to me, is an indication that Don really wasn't ready to leave us and that he's planning to hang around for a while longer.

Cherise also told my sister-in-law, Tammy, that she saw animals in the spirit when she was connecting with Don. She described a beloved pet that had passed and then she mentioned a rabbit near a bench in the garden. The family had a flower garden with a bench where Don and my sister-in-law often shared a sandwich or a glass of iced tea. They had never had a rabbit so the information was puzzling at the time. However, a few days later my sister-in-law was looking out the window when she saw a rabbit standing on its hind legs staring right back at her. After a moment, the rabbit hopped up onto the bench and sat there again facing the house and looking in the window. Tammy knew it was Don trying to communicate with her.

Samhain (some call it Halloween) is the time of year that we honor those who have gone before us. It is believed that the veil between the physical 3-D world and the spirit world is thinnest then. A lot of people report seeing or having visitations from their deceased loved ones in the fall season. In my book, More Than Meets the Eye, many people told me stories about seeing a bird or an animal come up and stare right at them. "Don't you recognize me?" the little guy seems to ask. They just knew it was their loved one. And, why not? Small animals and birds have energies that are easy for newly passed spirits to manipulate. Not every soul that departs from the body crosses over immediately. Especially if there is unfinished business with loved ones left behind or if the death was sudden and unexpected as in Don's case. Sometimes a loved one will become a spirit guide for a family member they cherish. Three weeks later Tammy is still aware of Don's presence with her.

The time we spent with my husband's family was beautiful and rich with memories. I didn't know a lot of the people since I am rather a new-comer to the family, but there was so much love shared I felt like I had been part of the family forever. After all, we are one. And, we are blessed!

Share Your Story

This blog is for a book about death, dying, and afterlife written by Yvonne Perry. The book is filled with candid stories about the entire process of transitioning to the Afterlife from the standpoint of the dying person as well as the caregivers who helplessly watch.

Have you had a near-death experience, seen a ghost, felt a spirit presence? Share your spiritual experience regarding death and dying.

More Books by This Author

Light is the language of the creator. When spoken verbally, light language can create, bring a message, blessing, or healing as a response to a request a soul has made. Old thoughts, beliefs, and behavior patterns are housed in the subconscious and our DNA. Our DNA also holds light codes of the original Adam (perfect divine human). When activated, these codes can override and reprogram old beliefs and patterns that keep the body, mind, and emotions sick and in disrepair. Learn how light language can help activate these codes.

As the Earth is coming into alignment with the center of the Milky Way Galaxy, we are being affected by strong cosmic energy that is compelling us to change our way of thinking and living. Shifting into Purer Consciousness ~ Integrating Spiritual Transformation with the Human Experience is designed to help people personally manage the symptoms of the current shift in consciousness we are all experiencing as we approach the end of the Piscean Age and enter the Age of Aquarius.

Walk-ins Among Us ~ Open Your Personal Portal to Cosmic AwarenessIf you have had a strange spiritual experience, you will find comfort and information to help make sense of it in this eye-opening book, written by a walk-in to help others understand the soul exchange process and how to integrate higher vibrations that clear energy imprints that are not aligned with love, light, and joy.

Learn how to stay centered and actively involved in your personal ascension process as you discover your mission, purpose, and role on Earth.

Whose Stuff Is This? ~ Finding Freedom from the Thoughts, Feelings, and Energy of Those Around You

Are you super sensitive to the negativity around you? Are your coworkers like psychic vampires who leech off your energy? Do you have mysterious illnesses, aches, and pains? Are you depressed or angry for no good reason? Do some friends and family members make you feel drained? You may be an empath picking up on the thoughts, emotions, attitudes, and even the illnesses of others. Whose Stuff Is This? is a guidebook for empathic people who have been unknowingly carrying energetic burdens that belong to someone else.

More Than Meets The Eye ~ True Stories About Death, Dying, and Afterlife

More Than Meets the Eye: True Stories about Death, Dying and Afterlife is a book that address topics that many people are not comfortable talking about such as suicide, the near-death experience, end of life decisions, and euthanasia. The book is designed to help people release their fear of death, learn to communicate with those on the other side, and to comfort someone who is grieving the loss of a loved one.

Perry has authored twelve children’s stories known as The Sid Series ~ A Collection of Holistic Stories for Children. These stories build self-esteem and empower young ones to follow their inner guidance and overcome fear. Inspired by her grandson, these stories offer valuable messages that support the whole child—body, soul and spirit—and teach environmental responsibility.

Stockpiled Poetry ~ Introspective Thoughts About Life, God, and Other Stuff That Can’t Be Explained!

Stockpiled Poetry is a bunch of plain style poems LavendarRose threw into the file drawer awaiting someone to appreciate them. If you like them, their day has come.

You will find a hodge-podge of themes and thoughts in this collection. From throwing pottery with the hippies in Missouri to poems about nature, religion, divorce, love, depression, relationships, the unfairness of life and other dark tales about living in the perfect world.

Yvonne's humorous book, Email Episodes ~ A Hilariously Honest Look at Life, is about a woman experiencing an identity crisis as she faces divorce and approaches mid-life with teenagers who are raising reptiles in the basement.

A great book of short entertaining stories, which also shares some of life's triumphs and troubles shared by all mothers of teenagers. Those going through divorce, leaving organized religion, or learning to live authentically will appreciate the candid humor.

The genealogy of the Bates family of Cherokee County, Georgia is traced back to Charlton Bates and Nancy Kelly (O'Kelly) Bates, who are first mentioned living in South Carolina in 1812. Through DNA testing, we know that our family has a ancestor blood-related to James Shockley Bates.

The descending lineage mentioned in this book are David Ward and Nancy Martin, Thomas F. Bates and Sarah Elizabeth Ward, Savannah Bates and Alexander Newton Smith, and Lemuel Harris Bates and Lillian Margaret Smith.

Many of the children and extended family members of these family heads are mentioned in this book, and more than 200 photos document the journey.

Of broader interest, the book contains some history of the Cherokee and Hall Counties of Georgia as remembered by the Bates family who lived in the area.