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6 easy signs to know if your partner is an introvert

Remember the last time you were at a party? Everyone was talking, there was a buzz in the air, but there was this one person who seemed like he was in the wrong place. Sure, he smiled and talked when spoken to, but he had this unmistakable expression of wanting to be anywhere but there. That, my friend, is a classic example of an introvert.

If the person described above seems a lot like your partner, then he or she is probably an introvert too. Introversion is defined by many personality and behavior models, and was popularized by the Swiss psychotherapist, Carl Jung. But introversion is not to be confused with shyness; the two are completely different. While introversion is just a personality trait, shyness can be severe enough to be classified as a personality disorder.

Susan Cain, author of the well-known book on introverts, ‘Quiet,’ says that, “Shyness is inherently uncomfortable; introversion is not.”Introverts prefer being by themselves and they are perfectly fine with this behavior of theirs. Shy people on the other hand, are painfully aware of their social inabilities and long to be able to overcome them. Introverts have close friends and they can act like extroverts at least for a short while. But shy people have to make a tremendous effort to step out of their shell. Considering these points will help you understand which category your partner fits into.

Your partner doesn’t volunteer their opinions. If the two of you are at a social gathering, whether formal or casual, your partner listens to everyone intently, but rarely if ever, gives out their opinion without being asked. You are fully aware that it’s certainly not because they have nothing to contribute to the discussion, but they just don’t feel the need to jump in.

Social events make them uncomfortable. The minute you say that both of you have been invited to an event, your partner becomes quiet. They’re not angry, but you know that they’re thinking that it would be much better to spend that time at home with you, watching a movie or reading a book by themselves. While they don’t freak out in social situations, they aren’t too thrilled about it either.

Your friends and family wonder about them. Your partner’s introversion probably gets heightened when meeting their in-laws! You find your family and friends constantly asking if they’re always like this, or if they’ve been offended by something they said. You’re probably tired of explaining that everything’s fine!

You end up dealing with your fair share of embarrassment. Introverts can play the extrovert for a while, but it drains their energy and they can snap back to their old self without warning. This can lead to a bit of embarrassment at social functions, when others wonder what on earth happened to that gregarious fellow!

You might have to field questions directed at both of you. Introverts are more than happy to let others take on the onus of asking and answering questions. They’re just not made for small talk, so you might have to answer questions that people ask you as a couple. It’s not because they don’t know the answers; it’s just that they know that you do too!

Their silence scares you. Introverts spend a lot of time with their own thoughts, looking as cool as a cucumber throughout. This can prove frustrating for you, especially if you’re used to thinking out loud. If you find yourself always wondering what your partner is thinking, whether they’re angry, if it’s about you, if something happened to set off their mood, etc., you’ve got yourself an introvert!

Does your partner check all these boxes? So now you know if you’re in love with an introvert!! Knowing this helps you understand them better without getting offended or hurt at their seeming callousness. This has many advantages too – introverts rarely create a scene in public and you’ll never find yourself complaining that they spend all their time with their friends!

Introversion and shyness are often confused for the same. Here's an explanation of the difference, and signs to identify if your partner is an introvert.

Fabida Abdulla

Fabida is an erstwhile Software Engineer and current Freelance Writer cum stay-at-home mom to her boisterous 6-year-old. In between all the writing, baking, nagging, reading, and cuddling, she manages to blog a bit about her crazy life at Shocks and Shoes. [http://www.shocksandshoes.blogspot.in/]