Double D waited a few days after the discovery of their relationship to
go to Kevin’s house. It never occurred to him to call. During the
summer, when they were a stone’s throw away from each other, it was
easier to visit each other directly.

He rang Kevin’s doorbell and resisted the urge to peer through the glass
of the door when there was no immediate answer. He waited patiently in
the summer heat, alternating between knocking and ringing for ten
minutes before accepting that no one was home, despite Kevin’s care in
the driveway. So he went home and left a casual message on Kevin’s cell
phone: “I apologize for the earlier, unseemly interruption. I assure
you that I have spoken with Ed and Eddy and have rectified the
situation.”

If knocking and ringing the doorbell didn’t get Kevin’s attention, the
message did, because he let himself into Double D’s house that very
night and none-too-gently roused him from sleep.

“The Eds. You said you talked to them. What did you say?” he demanded.

The lights flared to life and Double D rubbed his eyes. “Sleepy,
sleepy, sleepy--”

“Hey!” Kevin gave him a hard punch in the shoulder. “Fucking answer
me!”

That woke him up immediately. “Kevin! Physical abuse is no way to
get--”

“I’ll show you abuse, you little spazz.” He gripped the front of Double
D’s pajama top and hauled him out of bed. Once he had his full
attention, he gave him a shake, enjoying the way the dork’s feet dangled
off the floor. “What do they know?”

“Put me down this instant!”

“Tell me what you told them!” He shook him again.

“The truth! I told them the truth! You’re going to stretch the
fabric!”

Kevin didn’t so much as drop him as throw him against the nightstand.
The phone clattered to the floor and sconce above it flickered.

“What truth?” Kevin growled.

Double D rubbed the small of his back where it had struck the furniture.
“The truth, Kevin. That we are in a mutual and loving relationship.”

“Fuck.”

“I’m not sure I see the problem. Ed and Eddy were very understanding.
They didn’t seem averse to our homosexuality. They even mentioned that
they weren’t overall shocked.”

Kevin eyes narrowed, not a pleased expression. “Why weren’t they?”

“Well, as you know, I am not the most . . . masculine sort of boy and
with you as the dominant influence in our relationship--”

“We don’t have a relationship!” he roared suddenly. “Dammit! Do you
think that’s what this was? I’m not gay!”

Double D crossed his arms with an unimpressed cock of his chin. “Your
actions speak otherwise.”

“So I like a little ass now and then. Sue me. You think it’s easy
finding college girls who will do anal? It’s not! And here you are,
all pitiful and don’t know any better. Don’t confuse me using your ass
with some bull shit relationship drama.”

Stunned, it took Double D a few moments to figure out what to say. “I
don’t believe you.”

“Surely you are not asking that I ignore all of the small signs of
affection you have showed me--”

“Bull shit! It was all bull shit! Like I expect you to bend over like a
slut if I knock you around like I used to?”

Double D wrung his hands anxiously, swallowing a few times before he
could speak. “But it seemed like you--”

“I never said we were together! When did I ever say we were anything?”

“You missed me. You enjoyed my company. You laughed and smiled more
than you frowned. I paid very careful attention in analyzing--”

“I enjoy potato chips and drag races and I’m not in relationships with
those!”

“But . . . but when you visited me--”

“I was bored! Do you want me to explain every detail of the shit I said
and did?”

“It would help, yes.”

Kevin glared harder from under his red cap. “I don’t have time for
this.” He turned to leave the room. “Stay the hell away from me.”

“But, Kevin--”

“I mean it, dork!” He slammed the door on his way out.

XXX

Not to be put off, he was a modern boy after all, Double D stomped right
over to Kevin’s house the next morning. If Mr.
Bossy-britches-jerk-of-a-jock thought he could reduce what they shared
into a casual fling, he was dead wrong. No matter what awkward phase he
was going through, their relationship deserved more than that. In
addition, Double D knew that whatever was ailing Kevin, he could help.
The trials of life were always easier to bear when you were with the
person you loved.

Rather than bother with the front door, he went through the side gate
and into the back yard. Kevin was on the deck in his swim trunks,
sunglasses on, a beer in one hand, casually taking a drag from a
cigarette.

But Kevin was already on him, shaking him by his shirt. “I told you to
stay away from me!”

“I can’t do that!” he said, and though a part of him still feared the
childhood bully Kevin had been, he couldn’t forget soft words spoken
breathlessly, warm touches in the dark, the pleased groans that told the
truth.

“If you don’t get out of here, dweeb, I swear I’m gonna--”

“I love you, Kevin,” he said without meaning to. “I . . . I don’t know
when it happened, but I know you’re the first person I’ve ever loved.
You make my heart sing the sonnets of Shakespeare. The very air comes
alive when you touch me--”

“Get the hell out,” Kevin snarled and was already dragging him back to
the gate. He had shoved him outside the gate, but before he could swing
it closed, Double D was there, arms wrapped around his waist, face
pressed against his chest.

“Please, Kevin! Think about what you’re saying! I know if you reflect
upon our time together, you’ll recall how happy we were. How we both
love--”

“Shut up!” With frantic, jerky movements, Kevin tried to pry him away,
but the dork’s skinny arms were stronger than they looked. “Get off!”

“I can’t!” he cried. He knew he had nothing to offer, wasn’t beautiful
or sexy or something Kevin could brag about to his friends, so words
were really all he had. If he could do nothing else, he could talk
until he was blue in the face. “Don’t make me leave and pretend we were
never together, please. Please don’t send me away, Kevin. Please . . .
I’ll die . . .”

Kevin didn’t loosen his grip, but he did screw his eyes shut, like he
was trying to block his voice out. He opened his eyes again and saw his
white knuckles clenched around Double D’s orange t-shirt. And that
face was looking up at him, with his dainty chin, his tiny ears, the gap
between his teeth, and those big, wide eyes looking like an animal that
had been kicked too many times. What the hell was he supposed to do
when the dork looked at him that way?

Before he could do anything about it, they were interrupted when a young
woman’s voice called out, “Kevin? Where did you go? The margaritas
are melting.”

“Keeeevin! I thought we were going to go swimming!” Her voice was
getting closer.

With a panicked noise, Kevin shoved him away again. Then, in the manner
of cornered bullies everywhere, he lashed out. With his fists
clenched, the first blow caught Double D in the mouth. There was blood
immediately when his teeth cut the inside of his lip. The second blow
hit his left eye, the third his right, and the fourth his gut which had
him doubled over and gasping noisily. His frail body trembled, one arm
wrapped around his belly, his free hand trying to grasp Kevin’s hand,
his arm, his shirt, anything for balance.

Kevin grabbed the back of his shirt, ignoring the high pitched wheezing
noise that was the only thing he could hear beyond his own thundering
pulse. He tossed him out the gate and into the front yard. He had
enough time to see Double D stumble and trip over his tiny feet to land
in a heap before he slammed the gate shut.

“There you are,” the woman said, muffled to Double D through the tall,
polished wood of the gate.

“Sorry.”

“Were you talking to someone?”

“Just taking care of a neighbor kid.”

Double D lifted his bleeding head and looked around at the rest of the
cul-de-sac blearily. Fearing someone would see him in his shame and
humiliation, he scrambled to his feet and ran across the street, back to
his house where he fished the spare key out from under the potted plant
and shut himself away in the protective solitude of his childhood home.

He didn’t see Kevin again for the rest of the summer, but Kevin saw him.

XXX

Kevin saw him when he came out to get his mail the following morning.
As he watched from the front window, peeking from between the blinds,
Double D limped down the driveway toward his mailbox, hat pulled low
over his head. Both of his eyes were black, his lip was cut, and Kevin
felt nauseated.

He’d beaten up plenty of people before: opposing baseball teams, the
usual scuffles with roommates, he’d even gotten into a healthy fist
fight with his neighbor at the condo. He’d never hit anyone and
regretted it before. Every time he remembered his fists flying into
Double D’s face, he had to squeeze his eyes shut and think about
something else.

The next day, Double D looked even worse. It was obvious, the way he
kept his head down and his gaze far from Kevin’s house, that he was
frightened Kevin would rush through the front door to beat him again.

The third day Kevin saw him, Double D dropped his mail, bent to pick it
up, and stumbled. He landed on his hands and knees on the pavement. In
a flash, Kevin was up and rushing to the front door. By the time he
had run out onto the front lawn, Double D was already gone. He stood
there for a long time, watching Double D’s front door, willing him to
come out and talk to him. He didn’t, though.