Why You Should Put Yourself First

This article is inspired by a video I just watch from Oprah’s Life classes where she is speaking with a woman named Lyanla Vanzant. You can find it here. It’s brilliant.

Lyanla says how we treat ourselves is how we treat God, that we are the representative of God in our lives. “In your life, you’ve got to be as good to you as you want to be to God in order to be of service to others in the world”.

Despite my atheist/agnostic view of the world, I actually wholeheartedly agree with this and have quite a bit to say about it. Those who know me well enough know that I don’t believe in “God”. The inverted commas are because I’m referring to a word which I’ve observed to have very different meaning to different people, and because the word represents to some people, a concept that I do relate to and believe in.

My understanding of what Lyanla says and what it means to me, is that what is genuinely good for us is also for the greater good, and what is for the greater good will also always be good for us. If something doesn’t work both ways, it’s bullshit.

To be of service, to contribute outside of ourselves, to contribute to the world, we have the most to offer when we are at our best, when we have respected ourselves, taken care of ourselves, done all we can so that we can function at our best.

As Lyanla says, we need to start with a full cup. When our cup is full, then our cup runneth over, giving and contributing outside ourselves. If we have an empty cup, we have nothing to give. We cannot pour from an empty cup.

If we are true to ourselves, we are setting an example for others, which contributes to the greater good. We influence our culture by the way we treat ourselves. We influence our children and how they see the world by the example we set in how we treat ourselves and others.

Treating others badly is the same as treating ourselves badly. It perpetuates victim consciousness, it is what some would describe as damaging to ourselves spiritually. Deceiving others is the same thing as deceiving yourself.

If we occupy positions on The Victim Triangle, if we are acting out roles of victim, rescuer or persecutor (all three are faces of victim), we are perpetuating that in our family, in our community, in our culture.

If we treat ourselves with respect, trust ourselves, behave in alignment with our values, we are influencing our family, our community and our culture in a positive way. And that’s good for us and good for the greater good, which is good for us, and so on, if you see what I mean.

I believe in the holographic view of the universe, or is it the cosmos now, must Google that. The whole is in the part and the part is in the whole. Science has so much to tell us, so many fascinating things which have been observed in nature, and the more we learn the more mysterious it becomes. I recommend being ok with the not knowing. It lets more information in. But I’ve strayed from my point, which is that we are all connected, everything is connected, we are all part of the same thing, whatever that thing may be.

How easy would it be to tip the scales in favour of a more loving, healthy, functioning world society if we can spread this simple understanding. It’s what God wants you to do (that’s a joke, I don’t believe in God, but of those who do believe in God, there are many smart people who understand and know this.)

Russell Brand believes in God, and is one of my favourite people in the world. I read his book Revolution, and I’m with him with what I believe his intention to be, which is that positive change will come about through the spreading of sane ideas and understanding what is really going on in the world (well that’s my take on it). If you don’t like Russell Brand, you’re missing out in my view. The revolution he advocates is one of sanity, which is completely in alignment with my values and beliefs.

If you tolerate an abusive relationship, you’re not helping anybody, not even the abuser. If you stay in your media trance and refuse to get curious about what’s really going on in the world, you’re not in much of a position to positively influence culture and spread sanity. If you are judging others rather than being curious and looking for solutions, you’re part of the problem, and you’re not being kind to yourself, however you dress it up and whatever stories you tell yourself.

To disrespect yourself, to show yourself or others anything but kindness, is to take the same attitude towards the greater good, something you are a part of.

So show yourself love, that you may be able to share that love abundantly and be part of a higher vibration of consciousness which is of benefit to us all.

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