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EATING OUT; Taking the Children

Many parents find it agonizing to decide where to go out with their children, feeling that their choices are limited to either theme restaurants or those that give away gifts and candy. What children require, however, is not toys but tolerance, the sort of welcoming attitude that relaxes parents and makes children less conscious of having to be on their best behavior. That, and maybe one dish they are bound to like. Here are a dozen such restaurants. (These summaries, written by Eric Asimov, are taken from Ruth Reichl's and Mr. Asimov's dining reviews, columns and articles in The Times.)

1. Barking Dog

Luncheonette

+

(212) 831-1800

1678 Third Avenue, at 94th Street

Manhattan

$ Cash only

With its dark wood paneling, comfortable booths, bookshelves and low-key lighting, the Barking Dog looks more like a library than a luncheonette. That, in part, explains its appeal to adults, along with its up-to-date American menu, which ranges from hamburgers, fried chicken and meatloaf to leg of lamb and roasted trout. If the children begin to fidget while waiting for the rich, bountiful desserts, distract them with the restaurant's dog tchotchkes, which can be a parent's best friend. For families that can't get going in the morning, breakfast is served until 4 P.M.

2. Bodega

+

(212) 285-1155

136 West Broadway, near Duane Street

TriBeCa

$ All major cards

Bodega has gone through wholesale changes since it opened in the summer of 1996. The original chef, Stephen Lyle, departed for the Independent, while the American-Mexican menu has detoured into Latin America and Cuba. But it remains a friendly family restaurant that makes an effort to welcome children. Sometimes, in the early evening, you can't help tripping over the strollers and buggies wedged among the tables. Burritos, quesadillas and guacamole with corn chips are still appealing, as are new additions like grilled skirt steak marinated in garlic and Cuban-style roast chicken with rice and beans. Bodega also serves a variety of burgers and big, thick pies and cakes.

3. Cyclo

+

(212) 673-3957

203 First Avenue, near 12th Street

East Village

$ All major cards

Many children love Vietnamese restaurants for one reason above all: chao tom, the ubiquitous appetizer of grilled shrimp paste that is wrapped around a stalk of sugar cane. They eat the shrimp if only to get to the sugar cane, which they chew until they have sucked out all the sweetness. Cyclo stands out among New York's Vietnamese restaurants because the food is so light, fresh and balanced. Delicate, greaseless spring rolls, another dish that children love, cry out to be eaten the Vietnamese way, wrapped in a lettuce leaf with some mint or cilantro and a marinated carrot and dipped in nuac cham, the tangy sweet-and-sour sauce. Among the other outstanding dishes are ca bam, chopped monkfish that you spoon up with a crisp sesame-rice cracker, and chicken roasted with lemongrass and lime juice.

This Brazilian churrascaria with a dining room the size of a soccer field offers the type of spectacle that can captivate any child -- all the grilled meat you can eat, distributed by spit-wielding waiters. What's more, it's all a game. Each table has a small cylinder on it, with one end covered in red felt, the other in green. After you have visited the huge salad bar and are ready for meat, turn the green side up, and the waiters begin to descend, bearing succulent pork sausages, thick rounds of rib-eye steak, pork tenderloin, chicken hearts and maybe a dozen other varieties. When you've had your fill, simply turn up the red side again, until you decide you want more. With luck, the children will have no room left for dessert.

This raucous, smoky bar is just the place for children, at least early in the evening, before it gets too raucous or too smoky. Why not? The bartenders, who also wait on tables, are perfectly friendly, the decor of boars' heads and cattle skulls is distracting, and the table soccer game in the back room can be endlessly entertaining. And the Southern food is tremendously appealing, like garlicky hush puppies, crisp, delicious fried chicken, hearty meatloaf and mountains of mashed potatoes. Baby back ribs are meaty and excellent, though the sauce may be too peppery for young mouths. If so, the children can soothe themselves with rich banana pudding and the tall coconut pie, while the adults have another beer.

6. Janine's

+

(212) 501-7500

302 Columbus Avenue, near 74th Street

Manhattan

$ All major cards

The menu at this comfortable, roomy restaurant is as straightforward as they come, perfect for those in need of familiar territory. Roast chicken with garlic mashed potatoes? It's here. Grilled steak and salmon? Yessir. Pasta, pizza, fried calamari and polenta? Indeed, all well prepared, served in big portions for modest prices. Even the pickiest children ought to be able to find something they like here, not to mention the old-fashioned desserts like a thick, fudgy brownie topped with vanilla ice cream and chocolate sauce. Eat your vegetables!

7. John's Pizzeria

+++

(212) 391-7560

260 West 44th Street

Manhattan

$ All major cards

John's Pizzeria, the newest branch of John's of Bleecker Street, is a temple for worshiping pizza, almost literally. Housed in what used to be the Christian Alliance Gospel Tabernacle Church, John's, with 400 seats, is both the largest pizzeria in New York and the most beautiful. A restored stained glass rotunda is the centerpiece here, bathing the airy two-story main dining room in a mellow glow. The beauty of John's pizza is its simplicity, unmarred by excess or exaggeration. The crust is thin and faintly smoky, just crisp enough to offer a delicate crunch, while the other ingredients are fine: creamy mozzarella, slightly spicy tomato sauce, crumbled fennel sausage from Faicco Pork Store in the Village. Two important differences from the original: The service is much nicer, and you're likely to be able to get a seat without waiting.

8. Lombardi's

+++

(212) 941-7994

32 Spring Street, near Mott Street

Little Italy

$ Cash only

The chefs at historic Lombardi's, owned by the family often credited with introducing pizza to New York City, love to show off their pizza oven. If it's not too busy, they'll shepherd children to the rear, explain how the oven works and even allow them to toss in a chunk of coal. The oven produces pizzas with crusts that are gloriously thin, crisp yet elastic, blackened and blistered and full of smoky flavor. The traditional toppings are fine; adults may want to order one of the delicious clam pies.

9. Nick & Toni's Cafe

**

[Rating; Two Stars]

(212) 496-4000

100 West 67th Street

Manhattan

$$ All major cards

Families crowd into this low-key, casual restaurant in the early evenings, as if had always been on this block near Lincoln Center. In fact, Nick & Toni's, a branch of Jeff Salaway and Toni Ross's popular East Hampton restaurant, opened about five months ago in place of Honest Food, their takeout shop. While the service is sometimes haphazard, the food is simple and delicious. The menu changes daily, but children can usually find a hamburger or individual pizza. Grown-ups should hope to find the wonderful mussels ''brule-doigts,'' roasted in the wood oven until the shells become papery. Roast chicken served with bacon-garlic potatoes is terrific, as is the Ligurian fish stew. Desserts are simple and seasonal.

10. Penang

**

[Rating; Two Stars]

(212) 274-8883

109 Spring Street, between Mercer and Greene Streets

SoHo

$$ All major cards

This branch of the wonderfully authentic Malaysian restaurant in Flushing, Queens, is popular with children, and not just for the rocky wall in back, where the water drips down and across the plants like a waterfall. The absolutely delicious roti canai is a second reason, a thin, slightly crisp crepe, gathered into folds and served with mild coconut curry sauce. Children will also like the sweet, meaty fried pork ribs and the sweet, crunchy peanut pancake for dessert. For more adventurous palates, Penang offers traditional dishes like beef rendang, a thick, spicy curry; kari ayam kering, a milder chicken curry, and kangkung, a pungent water spinach served with trassi, a concentrated shrimp paste.

Three things distinguish this tiny sushi bar from other Japanese restaurants. One is that the sushi chef is a woman, Taka Yoneyama. The second is her unusual presentation. She will decorate tuna with leaves of edible gold, and stuff squid with spiced cod roe and cut it into pinwheels. The beautiful plates are all handmade. Third is that Ms. Yoneyama is especially nice to children, even those who won't eat anything but rice.

12. Virgil's

+

(212) 921-9494

152 West 44th Street

Manhattan

$ All major cards

How could parents not appreciate a restaurant that offers towels in place of napkins? Virgil's, a big, two-story barbecue emporium, offers much more than that, including uncanny reproductions of barbecue styles from North Carolina to Texas, as well as dishes from other ends of the Southern food spectrum. Pork ribs and pulled Carolina pork are top-notch, as are biscuits, fried chicken and even hot dogs. Aside from a huge selection of beers and bourbons, parents will find a wine list that is truly reasonable.

Summaries of reviews use the star system; others are culled from articles (indicated by +), the $25 and Under column (++) and Diner's Journal (+++).

The Star System

The New York Times's star system rates restaurants on the following scale.

**** -- Extraordinary

*** -- Excellent

** -- Very Good

* -- Good

None Poor to Satisfactory

Price Range

The price symbols are based on the cost of a three-course dinner with tax and a 15 percent tip (drinks not included).

$ -- $25 and under

$$ -- $25 to $40

$$$ -- $40 to $55

$$$$ -- $55 and over

Past reviews. Hundreds of Times restaurant reviews are available from @times, an arts and entertainment guide on America Online. Software and information: (800) 548-5201.