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30 August 2012

Shoot. This week has been hard. It's always hard going back to school, and the first few weeks with students are always challenging. It's hard to get up early in the morning (7:15 a.m. is way too early for anyone to be arriving at work), and it's hard to wear shoes, and it's hard to get back into the swing of school, especially when I'm suddenly supposed to be doing twice as much work in half as much time.

Add to all that the whole "tiny baby at home" thing, and I'm pretty tired. I'm basically going to go get myself addicted to caffeine pillz because "THERE'S NO TIME! THERE'S NEVER ANY TIME!" and then Matt will have to talk me down and tell me that, no, I won't be performing at that Hot Sundaes concert this evening. C'mon. Let's just watch it, shall we?

That is never going to be not funny.

Anyway, I was supposed to write a post yesterday because it was the ten year anniversary of my first date with Mr. Matt. But I didn't because I was exhausted. We didn't do anything exciting, either, because we both had to work and we're tired and old. We did laugh, as we often do, about how our twenty-one and twenty-two year old selves would be shocked to see us now. Matt cooks? Mandy actually agreed to have a baby? Science finally figured out how to create the cutest dog on the planet and he lives with us? Whoa, whoa! And how'd I get so fat?* And how'd Matt get so skinny?

We've basically been giving ourselves rainchecks for birthdays and anniversaries and other days of note during the last six months or so, and I'm saving them up to cash in for a week-long margarita binge. But it sure was fun yesterday to think about that first date, how we went to dinner at Applebee's (because we're classy like that) and then to see Signs (I still can't get out the aluminum foil without being tempted to make myself a hat) and how I was wearing my brown Gap favorite tee that I'll probably never get rid of.

Also, ten years is a long time. A wonderfully long time.

Here is where I would put in a picture of Matt and me when we were young and first dating, but I don't know where it is, and, plus, we were drunk and busted looking in most of those pictures anyway. Since I only ever take pictures of Charlie and Mitch these days anyway, look at them instead. Pretend that Mitch is me and Charlie is Matt if you must.

Oh, wait. Stop pretending that Charlie is Matt.

This is totes like our first date. Matt was drooling over his food and I got up in his face and begged for it. (see, also: the last ten years)

And, whoop, whoop! The weekend is fast-approaching! Hope yours is the bee's knees!

23 August 2012

And today our little 5-month old figured out a new trick: wrapping himself up in a blanket and covering up his face just enough so that we couldn't see that he was watching TV. Yep, he's our kid, alright.

We all just love him the most. Mitch has even decided not to eat him.

*Charlie, if you are reading this far, far in the future. You are awesome. I'm glad we're friends now.

20 August 2012

Well, I was going to write lots of witty stuff here about witty things, but I can't because I'm tired as a mofo. Today was the first day back to work, and let's just say I didn't like it nearly as much as I did when I returned after maternity leave. Maybe it's because Charlie and I get along a lot better now, or maybe it's because this year is threatening to be quite problematic, but I'm not feeling as enthusiastic as I should be at this point. I'm trying to be optimistic and not dwell on everything that is annoying, but it's proving difficult.

Here are a few quick notes about things from lately.

1. Charlie is on real food now! Hurrah! We were planning to wait until he was six months old, but changes to schedules and some weird health things have made my body decide that it doesn't like making as much milk as my tapeworm baby requires (MOOOOOOOOO!) (WTF? How ever am I supposed to make that special ice cream now?), so we decided that we'd rather supplement with bananas and sweet potatoes and avocados than formula if we can. So that's what we're doing. And the boy loves it so far! Today it was bananas (mostly because that's what we had and it's a good first food, but also because I can holler "Charlie Bananas!"), and he was a little food-eating rock star. Excitement!

2. I have a love/hate relationship with Pinterest. Really, pinners of the world? Really? That cookie tastes just like your Nana's famous chocolate chip cookie but has healing properties and is only 2 calories per cookie? Yeah? What are the ingredients? Oh? Sugar and peanut butter? Uh huh. Okay. This weekend Shecky and I got a little bitchy and made a fake pin of a cookie that is loaded with chocolate and peanut butter and sugar but "only has 12 calories per cookie." And, also, we said that it was pooped out by unicorns. Within minutes, that shit was re-pinned like a dozen times. Then some crazy pinning woman decided that she should correct us and say that we should try again with the calorie count. Yeah? But the pooped out by unicorns part was totally feasible? Got it.

3. Breaking Bad this season is freaking me out.

4. I know I've already gone on and on about it, but you really need to get Dinner: A Love Story. Every single meal we have made from that book is amazeballs (I think we've made 8 now). We already cooked all the time and I feel like the book is changing my life. I can only imagine how obsessed I'd be if we'd had it before we had a decent repertoire of meals. Get it. And then thank Cassie, because she's the one who told us about it in the first place.

5. Def had a dream last night that I was having an affair with Joe Biden and was meeting him in a hotel restaurant. Sexiest vice president of all time, right?

Anyway, that's all I've got. Here are some pictures of Baby Charlie and sweet Mitchell and stuff.

Bumgenius made a diaper in my favorite color!

Ann was here for the weekend and little buddy got to meet her. They were instant friends.

14 August 2012

So a couple of months ago when Charlie was basically just a parasite who did nothing but feed on my pain, I kept trying to get him to laugh. When he laughed, I thought, he'd be more fun. (See, also: sleeping through the night, being content not being held for more than five seconds, and fetching me the remote.)

So I tried and tried. I used all of my best tricks. The alphabet in Spanish? Tried it. Funny faces (including my world-famous awesome Cosby face)? Nothing. My Forrest Gump impression? Nope. My moving rendition of "Part of Your World" from The Little Mermaid? Boring, apparently.

After a while I turned to the trick that had gotten the kid of some of my best friends, Rachel and Ross, to laugh: "Baby Got Back." Oh, how I sang to my son about juicy doubles and other desires he should learn about from someone else! All for a little laugh that he wouldn't deliver until Matt basically shook him and laughed himself in a ridiculous voice.

Anyway, not sure why I decided to tell you about that. Oh yeah, it was supposed to transition into me showing you this awesome video of 295 clips put together to sing the song that Charlie doesn't think is funny. The transition is pretty abrupt, sure, but it's okay because this next video is too awesome.

13 August 2012

It's been a weird, gross, very hard and at the same time very awesome week up in here.

If I used this blog to bitch about work, there would be many paragraphs of me complaining about work right here.

And if I used this blog to bitch about family drama, there would be many paragraphs of me complaining about family drama here.

I do use this blog to tell you about gross stuff that happens, though. So how about I tell you about how the other day I was washing the tablecloth that's on the table in the Carport Bistro, and I balled it up and tossed it into the washer and then did the load in hot water (note: our water gets VERY hot) and then when the cycle was done and I reached into the washer to get the clothes I grabbed something slimy. That slimy something was a dead, stretched out, cold, wet, slimy jumpy frog. I screamed and ran in circles for like one hundred minutes and when Shecky (who had the pleasure of being on the phone with me during the incident) asked if I was being murdered, I could only reply with, "WORSE!"

So that was gross.

In less gross and less frustrating news, my dog child, the greatest dog who's ever lived, has taken to going into Charlie's room while he's screaming/napping (sometimes they are one in the same) to guard and comfort him. Can't handle the cuteness.

And we went to the beach today. And that was awesome. Except that I'm pretty sure Amber and Gary were there next to us in all of their trashy glory. At least it gave us something to talk about.

And at least the baby's still cute.

Thank you, thank you very much.

And Matt's birthday is tomorrow, and he has requested that, in addition to the dinner of Fresh Market ribeyes, I take Charlie to lunch at Back in the Day Bakery tomorrow and bring him back a sandwich. That way he can sleep in (and I get to spend some time at my favorite little spot in the SAV). Win win win win bacon jam.

Back to school on Monday (like, for a long haul) and I'm nervous about it and a little sad and a little scared and a little happy. Trying to soak up as much summer fun as I can in these last days. And trying to dodge the army of frogs that probably has it out for me. Shoot.

05 August 2012

Well, well, well, the internet. I hope you've been as productive this week as I have. I've basically managed to cross off everything from my summer to-do list in one week (and in the nick of time, too, since I have to be back at school on the 20th), which means that I am awesome. I am doing some extra work at school this week, then I have one week left of vacation, and then it's back to school. Womp, womp. I feel like such a spoiled jackass when I lament that I only have one week left of vacation since that's like half of the vacation that most people get for a whole year, and I'm being a big baby. (Secret? I am actually looking forward to returning to work because I think it's easier than spending all day with a baby. I love him the most and all, and I'd cut a bitch if they tried to hurt him, but Charlie and I have decided that our relationship needs a little space.)

So what have we been doing? Just going to the post office, painting (Ugh! The painting that's been the bane of my existence for a month now! I would like to build a time machine to go back to whenever people thought that entire rooms covered in wood paneling were chic and shake someone.), chillaxin' with my fur baby and human baby, watching the Olympics, complaining that I'm too fat, eating entire packages of Oreos (Whoops--Hey, Charlie's at the age where he's beginning to learn cause and effect. Perhaps I should learn that, too?), ellipting, finding places for all of the gigantic baby crap, and catching up on Teen Mom.

And I might have taken a couple of pictures of the baby and the dog.

Monkey butt.

Buddies.

No, he is not watching the Olympics. Definitely not.

Double fisting. He is his mother's child.

Mitch has always been one to bury rawhides in the couch. But the other day I found a dollar between the cushions! He's basically the dog from those Traveler's Insurance commercials.

Cassie-nova sent me this one from the Fourth of July. Can a baby already be annoyed with his parents at this age?

Oh, and I totes need to share with you this amazeballs sandwich that we had for lunch today. I mean, it's nothing all that creative, but it's still spectacular. It's Matt's Famous Cajun Chicken Sammy, and it goes like this from the bottom up: bread, spicy mayo (Hellman's mixed with some minced jalapeno and sriracha to taste--get outta here with the delicious), shredded lettuce, diced red onion, chicken covered in cajun spice (ours is from Fresh Market but you could use whatever one you like) and grilled, spicy cheese (ours is the chipotle gouda by Boar's Head, but you could use whatever one you like), bread.

And, in case you're not hip like us, "sammies" is the new cool way to speak of delicious stuff between bread. You know, in the spirit of Tom Haverford.

So what's happening with you? Surely it's more exciting than the post office, but maybe not as exciting as the latest fight between Amber and Gary? Do tell!