Because the main character is a truth-teller. (He can be a fat jerk too, but Im not going to focus on that). He just says it. He doesn’t tip toe around the truth a do a little fairy dance. He just comes out and says it. Usually without provocation, but it’s refreshing.

Im finding the older I get, the more I am drawn to this characteristic in people. People who have learned the art of unabashedly telling the truth without apologizing for it. I gravitate to these people. I want to be around them.

Quickly, let me make a distinction….

Im not talking about people who hand out their opinion all the time, for no reason and assume that everyone swallows it up. This is not what I mean.

A timely piece of truth has impacted me at times in amazing ways. Sadly, at some of the those times, I didn’t want to hear it. I can think back on so many times that someone spoke truth to me and I hated them for it. I suppose that is part of growing up, but oh…. how I wish I would have listened.

And now, as I have officially joined the “motherhood club”, Im learning that truth is at a premium. I can’t tell you how often I hear, “whatever works for you”….”hey….it’s your kid”….”each person is different”. Blah, Blah, Blah.

Obviously there isn’t a “truth serum” for getting your kid to sleep or be a better eater. Im not talking about fluff stuff like that. I do believe issues like that are individual and you have to find what works best for your family.

Yes there are gray areas to almost everything, but there are also many overarching things where black and white reside.

And so few people are willing to speak out. Give an answer. Speak some truth. Say something. Tell it like it is.

People walk around so afraid of offending each other that no-one says what is true anymore (I have been guilty of this before and it makes me so angry at myself). So afraid of someone being mad at them.

I worked with someone who would tell me exactly like it was. Sometimes I hated it, but generally it was because he was right. And I appreciated it. I needed that. I don’t need people that are just going to agree with me all the time. I need people who will challenge me, see through the bull and just say it like it is.

And I want to be that for other people too. Obviously, with tact. No one should be running around, shouting out unecessary opinions or thoughts with no purpose…just to be “honest”. That’s rude. And annoying.

But, in the right moment…..the truth is gold. And so few people are willing to speak out.

10 responses to “truth be told…..yes, please.”

One of my favorite TV truth-tellers (well, her mightily warped version of truth) is Elaine Benes…of Seinfeld. I used to hate her, and now I love her because she says EXACTLY what she thinks. Not always good, but she’s consistent, and has some serious chutzpah. Which I envy. She never had many friends, but the few ones stuck with her! (Didn’t work for her boyfriends…)

I agree! It makes me crazy when I ask someone something and they dance around the answer, trying not to offend me with the truth. I usually end up telling them to just say it, I asked to question, I can handle the answer!

Do you remember a sermon Brent gave a few years back about truth? He used American Idol as an example. These poor people walk in and sing for the judges, thinking they ARE the next American Idol, just to be shot down by Simon. Brent said the saddest thing about it was that no one in their family loved those people enough to tell them the truth, and save them the embarrassment of singing…er…screeching on national television. No one sat down and said “Honey, you have many talents, and though I love when you sing, that’s just not for you.” That’s changed the way I view those first few weeks of american idol.

Don’t forget the importance of truth when it comes to the little things. Every girl needs a friend that will tell them they have food stuck in their teeth, mascara running down their face, or that their butt really does not look good in those pants. Those truths hurt, but they are much needed!

Having been that person who you described for most of my life it is only in recent years that I have learned (or tried to learn) that there is fine line between wanting to say what you believe is true and understanding the impact that can have on someone and on a relationship. Truth with empathy and compassion can be life changing, but truth without that can be distructive.