My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Saturday evening an I am going out to meet my friends at the Escape, plus tonight Nicole was in town and was going to meet us at the Escape. Now I took my time getting ready tonight as I really wanted to enjoy the experience plus I wanted to get there early. I got to the Escape just before 6 and got out my computer to pass the time till others showed up. One of the guys at the bar told me you come here to get away from work and I assured him it was not work. We talked for a bit and he asked if I was checking out politics as that was just as bad and I again assured him I was not. So here I go getting on my soap box again. I try my best to avoid 2 things on my blog, Facebook and other social media and that is Politics and religion. Now these two topics have very strong feelings in people and I have seen friends on both sides go to extreme. So to all my friends out there, we are all different in views and beliefs and I accept all of you. This is why I keep this out of my blog and Facebook page as I do not want to put someone down because they think believe or have different views than I do. Okay we no return to our normally scheduled blog.

It wasn’t long and Nicole showed up. It was good to see her again as this is the first time this year she has made it down here because of the weather. We ordered dinner and then sat and talked and caught up on things. Cassandra also showed up and shortly after Melissa and her wife. Now we all sat and talked for a while and of course part of the conversation was about Diva Las Vegas. Elaine also showed up, she has been coming out pretty regular on Saturday nights for a while now. Kate also showed up and she was interested in Diva Las Vegas. She doesn’t think she can go for the whole thing but she is thinking of going for a few days. I think she would really have fun and enjoy herself.

Now I did play one game of pool against Cassandra and lost but it was fun. Cassandra played several games and won all of them, Bambi and Kris also showed up, They are getting out to almost every event now. They played a couple games of pool also. Shadow also showed up with 2 girls, Michele who I met at Cristines celebration of life and a new girl Sabrina. This was Sabrina’s first time going out. She has dressed at home but Came to Portland to get a transformation at Over the Rainbow and go out. It is always a fun night when we have a girl that is out for her first time. Always makes me think back to my first time and how scared and excited I was. I got a chance to talk with her a little and she was having a good time and didn’t seem that scared.

Karaoke started and of course it gets hard to talk then as it gets loud. Nicole called it a night. It was starting to get busy now as more were showing up for Karaoke so there was a good crowd here tonight and we had 12 from our group. It was a little after 11 when I left. It was a fun night out.

It is Friday and has been a long week, lots going on at work so I was ready for the weekend and really tired. No I was deciding if I should go out tonight. I still haven’t had time to do my blog from Wednesday night dinner so I thought about just staying home and doing that. But I also needed to eat dinner and in the end I figured I would go to Sweet Home for dinner at least, and I can do my blog there. I got home from work a little after 5 so it was a rush to get ready.

I was ready by a little after 6 and on my way, I got there about 6:30 the same time as last week and again I got one of the 3 parking spots. Looks like 6:30 is a good time to get here. Chris and Roxy were already here as they get here early. I ordered dinner as the special tonight was their Pork chop Special which is one of my favorite dinners here. Then I got out my computer and did my blog from Wednesday. It really is fun to look back over my blog and see the things I have done, places I have gone and the friends I have met. Wednesday blog is my 930th blog as Susan. It is hard to believe I have gone out that many times (maybe more) as Susan. I started my blog which was very basic back in November of 2006 so I have been keeping up on it for over 10 years now. It really is my diary of Susan which I keep on line so others can share. Now it doesn’t matter who you are but I would encourage everyone to write about their life and experiences in your life. It is a great way to look back on your life.

Dinner came and it was so good as always. As I said their pork chop special, chicken breast and steak specials are my 3 favorites but all their food is good. Now there was a good crowd here for as early as it was so I knew it would be busy the later it got. Chris of course was playing pool so I took the time to catch up on some work I had to do on my computer. I am starting to have a lot of issues with my computer so I am going to have to look into getting a new one. It won’t install the latest windows update and is getting slow. Besides I really want a new one that has a backlighted key board as it is hard to work on my computer here as it is kind of dark.

Now as I said it is Friday night and Diva Las Vegas is getting close, a little over 4 weeks. As a matter of fact Cassandra and I will be in Las Vegas in 4 weeks as we will leave early (4 am) on Friday March 24 and drive straight through to Las Vegas. it takes between 14 and 15 hours for the drive. That may seem long but I really am a road trip type girl. I love this drive and have made it many times over the years. By the way there is still time to sign up for Diva Las Vegas. They will start event sign up the first full week of March and remember this is not a convention it is a vacation. There is no cost to attend the event. you just pay your way for what you want to participate in, go golfing pay for your round of golf, go for dinner pay for your dinner. we have 8 for sure going from our group so it will be a lot of fun.Now I do need to do some shopping before we go to Las Vegas, just a matter of finding the time.

As it got later it did get busier and the other main group that comes here on Friday started to show up. Robyn showed up late but she did make it which was good. She said Diane was also coming later but I am really getting tired so I am not sure I will make it late enough to see her. Just before Karaoke started Chris left so it was just Robyn and me and we talked a little. One lady came over and told me how much she liked my sweater dress and asked where I got it as she had been looking for one. I thanked her and told her I got it on line at Fashion bug but they were bought out a few years ago and no longer on line.

karaoke was going and that made it hard to talk. I stayed a little longer listening to the singing but was really getting tired and was afraid I might fall asleep at the table. wow it was only a little after 10 and I was worried about this, I guess I am getting older. 8 years ago I didn’t even go out till 10. I stuck it out till about 10:30 before calling it a night.

Now I am looking forward to Saturday night out with my friends. Next week I am not sure if I will make it out as I have family coming to town. I know I will not be out next Friday and Saturday is not for sure and I may not even make it for Wednesday night dinner so it may be 2 weeks before I get a chance to go out again.

Wednesday is here and the dinner tonight is at Southland Whiskey Kitchenrestaurant on NW 23rd in Portland. The group has come here several time although this is only my second time. They have really good food and the price good. Now I Knew Cassandra and Melissa would be there but didn’t know who else. I started getting ready early as I wanted to get there a little early as the one bad thing about here is the parking. I was on my way a little before 6. Traffic wasn’t bad ad I was there about 20 after 6. I did drive around the block a couple times before going further down 23 rd. I found a parking spot about 4 blocks down. It is amazing how easily I get out of my car now. I walked the 4 blocks and it was a little cold out but not bad.

I got there and Cassandra was already there. We had a chance to talk a little while we waited for others to show up. We talked a little about Cristine, Turns out the funeral home was able to contact her children and one had called Cassandra. We also talked a little about Diva Las Vegas which is only 4 weeks away. We are both looking forward to going again this year. We are booked at The California downtown.

Melissa showed up next and the 3 of us talked some more as we were waiting for the 3 remaining girls to show up. Melissa is planning on going to Diva Las Vegas this year with her wife. so we will have at least 8 of us there from our group. Bambi and Kris showed up and finally the last girl showed up so there was 8 of us here tonight. We talked for a little bit before ordering dinner.

Now it was pretty busy here tonight so it was also fun to people watch. Our dinners came and the food was awesome although I did eat more than I should have. One of the reasons I can’t seem to loose weight. I did skip dessert though. After dinner we talked for a little but before some of the girls left. Soon it was just Cassandra, Melissa and me left. We only stayed maybe 10 minutes longer before we all left. It was a good night out with my friends.

Saturday night and our group is going to meet the t-girls in Salem at Southside Speak Easy. Our group has several members that live down there so we have been trying to go down there and visit them also although I have not made it yet. Actually I have only been there once before back in 2008 to meet up with Alice who I have known for many years, here is a picture of us from 2009. I really want to go here again. It is funny as I really stated this blog for myself to look back on the things I have done as Susan which it is really good for, I never thought others would find it much less read it. I am really happy that others have found it and follow my time as Susan and I hope that you enjoy my blog and maybe find it helpful in some small way.

Any way I have to get up early Sunday and didn’t want to stay out to late. well the girls in Salem don’t meet till 8 and as it is an hour drive down there I would only be able to stay till 9:30 so I didn’t want to make the drive for such a short time out. I decided I would go to the Escape and have dinner and see if ant others showed up. I got there by 6 and it was not very busy but they did have one of the tables reserved. I ordered something to eat off their breakfast menu. Then I got out my computer to pass the time to see if anyone else showed up.

It wasn’t long and Elaine showed up and joined me. It was good to see her again and always nice to not be by yourself. It wasn’t long and Rachael also showed up. The three of us talked for a while which was nice. It started to get busy about 7:30 as the group that reserved the other table showed up, there must have been 20 of them maybe more. They were a group from the SCA, I had to look it up on line as I had not herd of it before. They turned out to be a really fun group.

Karaoke started a little early tonight and the other group were reallot good at singing. Jan and Lynn also showed up so there were 5 of us here tonight. It was a good night. One of the girls from the other group started talking with Jan, I think her name was Verna. She is into fashion and learning to design clothes and she wanted to make something for Jan. She talked to us for over an hour. She seemed really nice and it was fun talking with her about fashion. Wow time went by so fast tonight before I knew it, it was 11 pm. So much for my being in bed by 11. I paid my bill and said my goodbyes.

It is the end of the week and I am looking forward to a fun Friday night. It is always good when I can get together with friends and just be out as Susan. Now I did make it out twice this week already, once to a PFLAG meeting to hear Cassandra speak about our group and of course Wednesday night dinner at Who Song & Larry. This means with going out Saturday night I will have been out 4 times this week as Susan. Now I hope over the next few weeks I will get out even more as I do need to do some shopping as I need a few things for Diva Las Vegas which is coming up fast, 5 weeks away. There is still time to register if you want to go to Diva Las Vegas. Check out their web page if you want more information and also check out the photos from past years. The years I went are 2010, 2011, 2013, 2014, 2015 so you can look for me in some of the pictures. You can also read my blogs from those years here, 2010, 2011, 2013, 2014, 2015. It really is a wonderful time. Now My friends and I are staying downtown at the California hotel casino this year which is owned by Boyd Gaming, we wanted to try downtown and the room rates are a lot better. We are really looking forward to it. we will be there for 8 nights.

Well back to Friday night, I got a late start getting ready so it was a little after 6 when I left home. I got to Sweet Home and luck was with me as I got 1 of the 3 parking spots in their lot, first time I haven’t had to park on the street in a long time. Robyn, Chris and Roxy were already there as they are the early crowd. I joined them and ordered dinner and of course got my computer out and took care of some thing I had to do. I may have to get a new computer as mine won’t do the update to Windows 10, for the last several weeks it downloads it but wont install it. I have to take the battery out a couple times each day to get it to reinstall the previous version but than this computer is over 5 years old.

We talked and of course I played on my computer, it was a typical Friday night out with my friends. The bar was a little busy for as early as it was which is always good and there were some new faces in the crowd. Chris and Robyn played pool as always, they are both pretty good. Robyn played some video lottery but didn’t do well this week.

It was about 9 and the other group that comes for Karaoke started to show up, Heather was out tonight and it is always good to see her. It was a good crowd here tonight. Roxy was the first of our group to leave as she works on Saturday. and soon Chris also left about 9:30.

Two guys came over and sat at our table for a while, I think there names were David and Michael but I am horrible at remembering names. They talked more with Robyn them me as they had all been in the military so they had a lot in common. It was a good night.

It was a little after 10 when Robyn and I called it a night. It was a great start to the weekend.

Wednesday is here and I am going out to dinner with my friends, we are going to Who Song & Larry. We have gone here several times and it is always a fun night with good food. I was looking forward to dinner. Now I started getting ready taking my time and I had my Red and Black dress all set out to wear. I started doing my make up and it turned out really well. Now it was time to get dressed and of course I changed my mind and went with my black and gold dress instead.

I got to Who Song and Larry by 6:20 so I was early as we were not meeting till 7. Well early or not I decided to go inside and wait for others to show up. now as I entered there was a group of about 8 young ladies guessing early 20’s there waiting for a table and they were all in dresses and heels. I really love it when I see other girls all dressed up. As I walked by them I saw Jan and Lynn sitting in the bar so I went and joined them. Now Cassandra called me about 6:35 as she was caught in traffic. I checked with the host and turns out they were really busy with a couple big parties. I told her we had 8 tonight coming and she told me it would be about an hour. I told her that was fine as our girls were caught in traffic.

I went back and joined Jan & Lynn in the bar. The group of girls came up to get drinks while they waited for there table. Now as I said they were all dressed really nice but the one had pink hair and it really looked cute on her so I just had to tell her how cute her hair was, she thanked me and we chatted for just a moment. It was just about 7 when Cassandra showed up. Now the 4 of us talked in the bar as we waited, both for the rest of our group to show up and also our table. Bambi and Kris showed up so we were up to 6 now. The lady came over and told us they had a group just leaving and would clean the table and get it set up for us as soon as they could and thanked us for being so nice about the wait. I really didn’t think anything about the wait as we were having a good time talking. Our table was finally ready and we were shown to it. It was a little before 8, wow it didn’t seem like were waited that long.

Joan showed up right after we sat down and it wasn’t long and Kim showed up. Kim is our favorite waitress from Harvey’s and have come out with us before to Who Song and Larry’s. It was good to see her here in a social setting as at Harvey’s she is working but tonight we can talk more. It was a really fun night with good food and conversation. Now as I said we have come here several times before and we always get the same waiter but tonight he was working a big party in the back room so we got another waitress named Leah and she was really nice and treated us well.

Now I really did eat to much as they have the best chips and salsa as they make them fresh here so the chips are warm when they bring them to the table. I could make a meal out of them. For dinner I had the all you can eat Enchilada’s, really good.

After dinner we sat and talked for so more. The night went by so fast, it was hard to believe. soon it was after 10. As we were getting ready to go I took the opportunity to get a couple quick selfie’s. As we were leaving Leah our waitress wished us a good evening and called me by my name which was nice.

It was 10:20 when we left. it was a fun night out with good friends. I stayed out a lot later then I planned but it was worth it although in the morning I may not feel the same way.

Now my little advice to all, be happy with yourself and who you are. If you cant’s find joy and happiness in yourself other people will not change that. Also find supportive friends that you can get together with, talk and go places. The more you go out the easier it becomes and it will open a whole new world to you.

It was a quick night out, Cassandra was invited to speak at the monthly PFLAG meeting so several of us from the group went to support her. It is a national support group for the LGBT community with chapters in every state, there are actually several of them across Oregon.

I got there about 6:30 and they were already setting up. It wasn’t long and Cassandra and Peggy showed up. Cassandra was going to talk about our group the Rose City T-Girls and of course the P-Club issue we had several years back. Now we did have 7 of us from our group here tonight. Now being a support group I can’t talk about what happened here but is was an interesting evening. It is really to help the family and friends of LGBT people. The meeting went 7 to 9.

It was a well run meeting and very accepting of all. if you do have a family member or friend that is gay, lesbian, or transgender and need help or information this support group is a good place to get help.

Tonight Saturday February 11, 2017 our group is having a celebration of life for our dear friend Cristine who passed away on February 2 2017. She has been one of our groups longest and supportive members over the last 10 years. It will be hard but we want tonight to be a celebration for her. Cassandra and Peggy are hosting it at their home which so wonderful of them, thanks so much.

Now the celebration is from 7 to 11 but I was going to get there early to see if I can help Peggy and Cassandra set up. Now I started getting ready early so I could be on my way by 5. I got there just about 6 Peggy was finishing up getting everything out and Cassandra and Veronica were all ready. Now I am not even going to try and name everyone here tonight as we had over 30 show up to remember and celebrate Cristine life. NO I did walk around and take pictures as I wanted to make sure and get a picture of everyone who was there, I did miss several people though so hopefully Cassandra got the as she was also taking pictures. I set my phone on a shelf in the dining room so I could get it easy when I saw new people come in. Now I did manage to get one selfie of myself.

Now by 7 there were a lot of people who had showed up but people would be coming all evening long, some came early and left and others later it was really wonderful to see so many friends here and even some of Bobbie’s family showed up t support him which was wonderful.

Now the food that Peggy and Cassandra had was wonderful, all finger type food, chips, dips, meat balls and of course wonderful cupcakes and brownies. It was awesome and of course I did eat more than I should have especially the desserts. Yes I have a weakness for sweets.

Now Cassandra had a bunch of pictures of Cristine on her TV, 100’s of pictures of her and of course pictures of her with us her family. In a way it was like she was with us all night long. I kept finding myself watching the pictures of her and there were a few time I got a little choked up but we didn’t want this to be a sad event.

I did get to talk with everyone here at one point or another so it was a good night. Even got to meet a few new girls that Victoria brought out. One of them Michelle will be going to Diva Las Vegas, her first time so I will see her again there. By the way we booked our rooms for Diva Las Vegas, we will be staying at the California Hotel Casino in Downtown Las Vegas, it is one of the Boyd Gaming casinos. They have 3 hotel casinos downtown. One of the things if you go to Las Vegas get a players card if you gamble as you do get some good comps. There were lots of Pictures of Cristine when we were in Las Vegas in years past for Diva Las Vegas. We really did share some wonderful times over the years, so many wonderful memories. Even though she is gone from this world she will always be with us in our hears and memories.

By 11 people were leaving and we were down to a smaller group about 15 and we were standing in the kitchen talking about all the wonderful times we had with her. I had planed on leaving at 11 but I just couldn’t bring myself to leave. I really wanted to be with my friends tonight. It will make for a short night but it is worth it. We talked for over an hour. I was looking through the pictures from last night and decided to try and list everyone I can that was there, Veronica, Bambi, Kris, Cassie, Kim, Peggy, Cassandra, Cindy and her wife Alice, Teresa, Laura M, Laura H, Lisa, Bobbie, his Sister and Partner, brother and his wife, A couple of his friends, Chris, Roxy, Melissa, Sophie and her wife Lorna, Barb, Kate, Michelle, Jan, Lynn, Marla and her girlfriend, Jamie and her girlfriend, Amber, Shadow, Victoria and a couple of t-girls she brought out for the night, and I am sure I have missed some. Thanks to all who showed up tonight, Cristine would have loved it.

It was 12:15 when I called it a night, I have a 45 minute drive home so it will be about 1 am when I get home which is the latest I have been up in a long time. On the drive home I had a chance to reflect on the evening, I was thinking about the times I had been out with Cristine and even though it would be late when I got home I was going to post the pictures of the night on our groups Facebook page. it is funny as I was about half way home when I was thinking about the pictures when I realized I had left my phone with all the pictures on the shelf at the party so I had to turn around and head back and hope Cassandra was still up. That is the one bad thing about cell phones as if you lose the or just leave them someplace you are really cut off. I couldn’t even call and let them know I was on my way back.

It was about 12:50 when I got back and luckily Cassandra and Veronica were still up cleaning the kitchen of course Cassandra had cleaned up and was back to her male self. I didn’t stay long just enough to get my phone. I was so glad they were still up and I didn’t have to wake them up to get my phone. This is the first time I have left my phone someplace, not a good feeling. Needless to say it was after 1:30 am when I got home so it really was a late night. The pictures will have to wait till Sunday now as I needed to get to bed.

Thanks to Cassandra and Peggy for hosting such a wonderful event and opening their home to us all. and also for all those who showed up for Cristine.

It is Friday and I am looking forward to a fun night. It has been a long day but I still need to get a manicure and as long as I am out I will be off to Sweet Home. I called Dream Nails at about 4:15 to see if I could get in at 5:30 and that was fine so I had an hour to get ready. Now I really love taking my time getting ready usually an hour and a half but when needed I can get ready in 45 minutes if needed.

I was all ready by a little after 5 so I had a little time before I needed to leave for the nail salon. I got there about 5:20 and Anna was ready for me. Now they were a lot busier then the last time I was here. there were 4 woman and a man getting pedicures and one getting her nails done. I really do love going to the nail salon as it is such a relaxing fun time.

Anna worked on my nails and did a wonderful job, this time she didn’t even ask me if I wanted my nails trimmed back she just filed them down a little and evened them out. They look beautiful and just a little on the long side for my male side. I will have to file them down some in a few days. It was about 6 pm when I was done and left the salon with my beautiful nails. They would look so much better with a red though.

I got to Sweet Home a little after 6, Robyn and Chris were already there. I little later Roxy showed up so there were 4 of us tonight. We had a nice time although I was really getting tired now as I have been up since 3 am today. It was a little before 10 when I called it a night. It was a fun evening out.

I will be out again Saturday night as our group is having a celebration of life for Cristine who passed away a little over a week ago.

It is Wednesday and the group is going to the Rock Bottom Restaurant for dinner. The group has gone here a couple times before although I only made it once. It is a nice place and really big inside with 3 pool tables and a couple shuffle board tables. It really is a nice place to go and very friendly and accepting.

I started getting ready with the hopes of being early. I was on my way by 6 but when I got downtown it was hard to find parking which is the only bad thing about this place. I finally found a parking spot 3 blocks away. Funny years ago I would have not gone unless I could park close to where I was going. Now it was pouring down rain so with my umbrella I started walking to the Rock Bottom.

I got to the Rock Bottom and Cassandra was already there. Now we knew a couple others would be there as they had posted in the group they would which was nice. Always hard going someplace and not knowing how many will show up. It turns out we had a good turnout tonight, one of our bigger Wednesday night dinners. Amber, Laura M, Melissa, Bambi and Kris showed up. We talked for a while before ordering dinner.

I ordered a pizza which was really good. As we were finishing dinner Victoria and Shadow showed up so we had 9 here tonight. They ordered dinner and we all moved over to the pool tables so we could play a few games. Several of the girls played while I opted for a hot brownie and ice cream desert. It was so good. If you are looking for a fun place to go for dinner with some friends this is a place to check out.

Now I had only planned on being out till 9 as I get up early for work but we all know how that goes. I stayed and watch some of the pool games and talked with some of the girls before leaving. it was about 9:45 when I left. it was still raining not as hard as earlier but still pretty hard so once again I was walking the streets with my umbrella. Again I was thinking about how far I have come. A few years ago I would have been scared to death and never thought of walking the streets of Portland at night by myself.

I got home a little after 10 and got ready for bed. It was a wonderful night out with my friends.

About

HI all my name is Susan Miller and I am a crossdresser in my mid 50’s. I live in the Portland metro area of Oregon in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. I like to dress up as a woman and go out with friends. This does not mean I am gay, far from it. I am only attracted to genetic woman sorry guys. I just have a love of all things female, makeup, dresses, high heels and long nails, acrylic nails. There is nothing like going to the nail salon and having your nails done.

Some people may not understand my way of life so I thought I would create a blog to write about it to try to help explain why and how I feel when I am Susan. This will also serve as a record for myself of my life as Susan Miller.

I am not a woman trapped in a man’s body and I have no desire to be a woman full time but I do have a woman inside that needs to be able to express herself. I guess the best way to explain is that I have both a feminine and masculine side to me and both feel right and comfortable to me although I will admit that I probably lean more to the feminine side. This means I am more gentle and caring and more soft spoken and I enjoy a lot of what society would call feminine activities. I just really like being Susan sometimes and I love dressing up and wearing pretty clothes and makeup. Women are so lucky. They have all the cute clothes and shoes while men get plain boring stuff to wear.

Please feel free to read my blogs and leave comments, but please be respectful. I do not judge others and respect your right to agree or disagree with the way I chose to live. I would love to have you post a comment and you may agree or disagree with me and my life and I will not delete it as I think it is important to have all views but if you leave a disrespectful comment I will delete that. Also any crossdressers or genetic girls that are okay with this please feel free to contact me. Also if you have any questions please feel free to ask and I will do my best to answer them but remember any statements made here are the sole opinion of Susan Miller and no one else.