Who’ll Show Up To Play Today?

Remember the Patty Duke show? Patty was the lead role, but then her “identical cousin” Cathy would appear out of nowhere.

That’s how I feel on the golf course. Sometimes I look like someone who’s played golf before. I’m not a great player, but it’s clear I’ve played before.

But then this BI&T$#CH “cousin” Cathy shows up – unwelcomed, uninvited and possibly high on drugs – and takes over my golf game. She can’t even hold a club properly. Her takeaway is bad, she has no follow-through, and she can’t chip or putt. I hate her!

And she doesn’t just show up between rounds, sometimes she takes over in the middle of a round! I had one round going where I was 2 over par after 9 holes. I’m thinking I can break 80. But noooooooooooo, Cathy shows up at the halfway house and goes 12 over on the next 9 holes.

How’d she even get out to the halfway house? I knew I should’ve skipped that hotdog.

Why don’t you see a pro, Patty? And tell the pro what – “we” have a problem? I don’t need a pro, I need an exorcist.