Lying Is The Most Fun A Man Can Have Without Taking His Clothes Off

You know that awkward moment when there’s such a disgusting amount of sexual tension between you and your guy friend and all you want to do is avoid it but you physically can’t? Welcome to my life.

In life you’ll lie a lot. You’ll lie to get out of commitments, you’ll lie to avoid certain situations, and you may even use the number one lie that every man has or will say once in his lifetime.

“I hope we can still be friends after hooking up”

This phrase is the devil of all phrases. It’s the “I realized that you’ll allow me to have sex with you so now I’m not going to commit but I’ll still be able get it in.” We’ve all been there and done that. How do we avoid this? I’d like to think there are three phases to avoid getting yourself into this, how to get out of a sticky situation, and how to get over it.

Phase 1: Avoid

The best way when dealing with this situation is to avoid it like the plague. Seriously, is hooking up a few times really worth the frustration, potential feelings, and awkwardness? Okay, maybe it won’t end up like that but still. The tension during a pregame or weird looks you might get at the bar from this guy will be enough to put you in a funk. Obviously, easier said than done.

Cheat Sheet:

Delete His Number: You won’t need it if he’s a casual friend and this won’t lead to any mistakable drunk texts

Monitor What Shows Up On Your News Feed: Hide his profile and his updates—out of site, out of mind

Talk To Other Guys: If you’re out at a bar together, mingle with other people. You’ll probably end up meeting new dudes and avoid the lingering idea of starting a convo

Phase 2: Involved

Uh oh, you’ve made the mistake of actually hooking up with your guy friend. Things are fun and going smoothly until he decides to mack on another girl at the bar (and you’ll be lucky if you see it live and not find out from other friends). You’ve got one of two options—continue the idea that you’re not the only one or drop it while you can.

Cheat Sheet:

Remind Yourself: That he probably won’t make an exception. If you see him talking to other girls and you know it’s not plutonic, he probably won’t stop. Do you really want all of that (if you catch my drift) to be involved with you?

Make Excuses: If you know he’s going to be out with your friends either make plans with a different group for that day or bring a distraction. If you bring a new friend into the circle it’s not really your fault if your attention if focused on her. This is hands down best way to ignore a guy without actually ignoring him.

If You’re Strong Enough: You could throw it back in his face and use him for sex. Fair Warning—this is more challenging then it sounds.

Phase 3: Getting Over It

You were involved, realized it was a bad idea, and now have to “get over” this dude. You tried it, you fought for it, and you realized that it wasn’t working. In this situation remember that the overwhelming feelings you have may have are more then likely just feelings of lust. Getting over it shouldn’t be too bad as long as you remind yourself it isn’t a big deal.

Cheat Sheet:

Writing About It: You may be no poet or writer but sometimes it’s the best way to get all your feelings out. Try other ways to express your feelings such as exercise, art, or even getting involved in a big project. Sometimes you just need a hobby to help you get out of a bad mood

Relate To It: Regardless of what you may think; you’re bound to have a friend who was gone through a similar situation. And if not, find a blog that bitches about boys 🙂 finding things that relate to you will make you realize that you’re not alone

Move On: The best type of revenge? Finding someone new. Trust me, that boy will realize what a mistake he made. It might not be today but eventually, he will realize his stupidity. Side note—don’t get too focused on “getting back” at someone, it will only allow you to dwell on the situation.

“Single Girl” is tired of hooking up with random dudes at frat parties, dealing with men leading her on, and always having to make the first move. Dealing with the unfortunate scene of college dating, “Single Girl” tackles the topics of love, lust, and relationships.

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I believe love is the answer to everything. While heartbreak is inevitable in this uphill battle, I believe that every tear shed, that every single horrible feeling felt, and that each spectacular moment that's left me wonderstruck has happened for a reason. I'm 24 and a hopeless romantic that explores love through her writing.

Disclaimer: Thoughts and opinions are my own and do not reflect the views of my employer. Also note that everything is written in lag time between the actual event and my feelings towards it.