Wednesday, December 26, 2012

"NOT Based on True Events." Cute touch in the intro. We've got a barely recognizable Danielle Harris (Mary) getting plowed over a rock by some redneck. Kyle (Michael Biehn) is a sort-of creeper having lunch in town and then returning to his remote home. In the meantime, Annie (Jennifer Blanc) is running terrified through the woods.

Annie arrives at Kyle's house, where he attempts to console her. Sidenote: I'm having a hard time picturing Michael Biehn as anybody but the Sheriff in Planet Terror. I know he's been in a ton of stuff, but my mind keeps going back to the BBQ recipe. When trying to explain what happened to her, we revisit how this all came to be. Poor Danielle Harris has to keep reliving the doggie-style scene that is the cause of her demise.

The men that were partying with Mary and Annie when the "whole thing went down," James (Ryan Honey) and Jonathan (Denny Kirkwood), show up at Kyle's house looking for Annie. Since the cops are against them, Kyle and Annie believe they have no one to ask for help, so they set off to find Annie's body to use as "proof." They kind of look, but then just bang instead. But we all know those two men weren't gone for good, didn't we? We get a lot of flashbacks via Annie, a little torture, and a pretty sweet head-bashing. The end wasn't really a "twist" and didn't come as a huge surprise.

I've read different reviews and stories about this movie, and I get the sense that the acting was supposed to be intentionally bad in order to make it a grindhouse-style flick? It didn't really work here, since there was no "punch-line," so to speak. Like Planet Terror had the cheesy lines and overacting, but it also had awesome zombies and a ton of gore and a good storyline. It was written in three weeks and filmed in 12 days, and maybe they should have taken more time on each end of this. There were a few graphic sex scenes, and a lot of Danielle Harris and Jennifer Blanc running around in skimpy clothing, or being buck-assed naked. This movie definitely had potential, but just didn't come fully to fruition. Still love all involved, but have seen better performances out of everyone.