Wednesday, 25 May 2011

A villa in Greece?

The following in my email box indicates that all is not well with our bankrupt and soon-to-default little neighbour:

Villa Pauli - Situated just 200m from the spectacular Phoros beach with its picaresque community of itinerant Mahgrebi arabs living under plastic sheeting and just 5 minutes drive away from Nauossa with its historic ruins of closed tourist cafes and bars. Set within a former olive grove recently felled for firewood for the local cooking stoves, the villa is available with several starving Greeks and an emaciated donkey. Patio heating in the cooler evenings is provided by the burning cars on the adjacent boulevard, and traditional combat between the police and protesters offers nightly entertainment. Take dollars or Sterling with you - the local currency, the euro, is widely scorned and is not accepted any more by taxi drivers. The recent utilities collapse has seen a rise in Cholera, Dysentery and Typhoid, so remember to take plenty of bottled water. Roast donkey kebabs are always a safe bet, but avoid fruit and salads. A native guide can be hired in the usual way by throwing a handful of euro-cents on the street and will prove invaluable in avoiding the armed banditti who have recently killed several kidnapped tourists. The State asset sell-off has made this a mecca for bargain hunters; try the garage sale at the local museum for a 3,000 year old krater at a knock-down price ($ or £ only). A fortnight at Villa Pauli will be a fortnight that you and your family will remember forever!