I wasn’t sure exactly what to expect yesterday when I went in for the US. I think I had this rosy picture painted that there would be a lot of excitement, a lot of tears of joy, a round of “Congratulations!”

I even dressed up. I dressed up for my US to impress my baby/babies when we met for the first time.

When Chris and I were called back into the room by a tech that, let’s just say isn’t the most cheerful, I was shaking, and I’m pretty sure my eyes were dilated. When she left us so I could get under the sheet, I’m pretty sure I shit an actual brick.

See? Don’t let the smile fool you.

I should have realized this was going to be awkward the moment she asked me how I was doing, and I said, “terrified,” with a little girl giggle, and all I got in return was a prim smile, like, “Honey I really don’t care what you’re actually feeling.”

So anyway, the tech and the doctor come in. And he’s really nice, we’ve had him for a prior IVF transfer, but he’s not my own doctor there, you know? The one who has invested the time and energy into me before we went to Texas.

I asked the tech if we could take a video of this, as all my friends encouraged me to do one. “You’ll bawl your eyes out!” they all said. She looks at us (do I detect annoyance?) and says, “Well, yes, but it gets long with the measurements, so I will let you know when you can.”

The tech is snapping her gloves on as Dr. C. is asking me how many we transferred and what medications I was taking. He then tell us that all we are looking for at this point is a gestational sac and the yolk sac.

“I always think it’s funny how these satellite clinics want an ultrasound done so early,” the tech sniffs, and then looks at me for confirmation.

Well. My special day was slowly starting to disintegrate. I resisted the urge to kick a slightly hairy leg in her direction.

She turns on the US and we see immediately one sac. And while her and the doctor start the measurements, I am left frantically skimming the screen.

Ok, I see one.Is there another one?I thought there would be another one?What the hell am I even looking at?

“Just one,” the tech repeats, with all the love and encouragement of a parole officer.

So I am sitting there, so totally not feeling the urge to cry over this whole stupid thing, while at the same time, silently panicking because NO ONE HAS CONFIRMED THAT THERE IS AN ACTUAL BABY IN THAT SAC.

“Ok,” the tech said in a bored voice, “You can take a video now.”

So Chris turns the video on on my phone, the tech is standing there and it is the most awkward 20 seconds of my life. Apparently she was too annoyed at this whole early US to be bothered with any commentary for the video of OUR PRECIOUS MIRACLE.

“Shut it off,” I muttered to Chris, and we moved on.

When the wand was out, and I was sitting up and the doctor left after saying the results would get faxed to my Texas clinic, I finally asked the tech, “So there was a baby in there right?”

“Yep,” she says, writing in my chart.

“For sure? Even though we can’t see it?”

“Yep.” She says again, before handing me my lab slip and telling me I can get my blood work done.

No congratulations. No enthusiasm. You guys, my first US pretty much blew ass.

It took me a couple hours after to not feel like crying in disappointment. But after some much needed pep talks, regardless of what the clinic staff think, I’d like to now introduce you to Baby Seaweed Kerslake.

The blackness is the gestational sac, and that little halo on the left side of it, is the yolk sac. Baby Seaweed is, er, not able to be seen because she is way to cool for that right now. But she is in there somewhere.

So what did I take away from today?

1) Some techs are assholes.

2) I wanted it to be twins. Obviously I wanted them both to make it. And I think I got caught up in the hype that everyone was thinking it was going to be twins, and it seemed to be an even bigger let down that it wasn’t.

3) I am trusting that one didn’t make it because my miracle baby needed the room to grow and thrive. And being disappointed that I couldn’t go back and tell everyone (loudly) that it was twins is a disservice to the one little here. Because it’s not “just the one.” You guys, this little one is so strong that she fooled everyone into thinking she was two babies. That is one rock star little girl.

4) I think she’s a girl. I mean, clearly she’s an overachiever.

I came home, made phone calls all afternoon, took a zombie walk with Chris and promptly fell asleep at 9:00.

But I did end up getting my lab results back.

Here is where we stand:

4/8/15 Beta #1: 564Progesterone 29Estrogen 1403

4/10/15 Beta #1: 1224Progesterone 67Estrogen: 1948

4/13/15 Beta #3: 3655Progesterone: 38Estrogen: 697

You guys, I have a little baby in me. Next US is this Friday, when I am 6 weeks!

Besides having to deal with lame staff, it seems you had a perfect appointment and were able to see your baby! I am sorry you had your hope so high for twins and was let down. It is so hard to tell from hcg levels, but you have one beautiful little gummy bear and I bet you will see a perfect little hb on Friday! Congrats to you and Chris.

Ok so I don't want to give you false hope but at 6 weeks I had one and then a week later their were two! Granted it was because one split BUT it could still happen ya know. Again not trying to give you false hope but you never know. Congrats on a healthy little one being in there. Those numbers are great!! I am so sorry the Dr's office was not more excited for you, I mean after going through everything you have, you deserve that.

Gah! I'm so pissed off on your behalf that the tech was such a twat! Seriously! How rude of her to say she doesn't really care how you're feeling after she ASKED! Anyway, CONGRATS on your strong little Baby Seaweed Kerslake! I promise that the ultrasounds do get better, as you start to see more and more baby. (So long as you don't get the same gal! She needs to be fired.)

You should have kicked her. Even if you had gotten pg the old fashioned way, how could you not be excited to be in the room when a family gets to see their baby for the very first time? On second thought, you might catch that bad mojo if you sink to her level. So, so glad you got a fantastic beta and that you got to see your little peanut.

Great news and my first u/s both times were 5w1d and all you're going to see that early is a black hole but its the most amazing black hole ever 🙂 also, like someone above said its pretty early, if (if…) there were two you may not catch the other one yet if it implanted later. Buuuuut if its only one, while I can sympathize….I always wondered what happened to our other little guys….., you will be such a great mommy to that one little growing bean!!!! Congrats!!!

Everyone thought I was going to have twins too with my numbers. I mourned the one that didn't make it. But I was glad that I had one little embryo that did make it. Sweetie I'm over joyed for you that your numbers look great! Hang in there the ride has just begun!

You have a baby in you!!!! So happy for you. I probably contributed to the chorus of "It's twins!" so, um, sorry about that. The important thing is you have a strong, kickass baby growing now. Yay!!!!!

That tech needs a talking to! Ugh! I will say that OB offices are not as sensitive as RE offices. I felt the same way at my office. But WHO CARES! You are pregnant! I know the hype of there being two, and then there was only one, is tough though. Still so excited for you!

I am so so so happy for you! I remember having that same momentary disappointment at our US after doing an IUI with 8 (EIGHT?!?!) follicles ready to go. We spent a week and a half going crazy wondering if we were pregnant with quadruplets or triplets and then found out there was only one. I think we were more shocked that there was only one than disappointed (I was disappointed, I wanted twins) but it faded so quickly because we were having a baby!!!! And now you are having a baby!!!! I can't believe you will already be 6… Read more »

Have to make this quick. Very sorry about the lame tech (SO LAME!!!). And I'm sorry it's not twins. But, I am so happy that baby is developing and on track. That is huge. So take some time. Revisit the video Chris took when you're up to it. And celebrate. It's still amazing news and I'm beyond happy for you.

Your baby is SO CUTE. I'm sorry it wasn't twins – but I'm believing, like you, that your little lady needed ALL the room for all of her awesomeness.

Seriously…I have yet to have a good experience with an ultrasound tech or a fertility doctor….I swear if you're going to work in the fertility world, even as a janitor, you should get empathy training.

On behalf of her – CONGRATULATIONS MAMA! That's a baby in there! (Ok, well it's a blob but I have it on good authority that the blob is the beginning of something wonderful).

Never commented before but I just had to tell you I'm so sorry your tech was a hag. One ultrasound I had the Dr came in and for what seemed like an eternity was looking for my son's brain!! After the 17th "hmmmmm" I asked if she found it before I lost it. (She did, he's fine)If you find a tech you like be sure to start requesting him or her. Ultrasounds are a perk of pregnancy!

I think your clinic did you a disservice by scheduling you so early. I don't condone the tech's attitude or lack of warmth, but it is nerve wracking scanning patients that early, and I probably would have made the same comment about obtaining a video, which is also rather anticlimactic at this time. Focusing on the positive, there is something growing inside. You've never made it this far before! I know your experience on Friday will be better!

congrats! so so happy for you! brings back memories how we found out our little miracle! but minus the meanie tech lady! enjoy being preggers sweetie!lots of virtual hugs and kisses all the way from Malaysia! :*:*:*

We implanted two, had huge betas, and ended up with one… and she is a beautiful and smart little lady now. Forget the tech. Maybe she had something on her mind, maybe she's just mean… it happens, no use letting it spoil your moment. Just shift focus on yourself and that little miracle u got growing in there xo

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3 years ago

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Hey there! I’m Risa, author of this website. I’m an RN turned freelance writer and personal blogger passionately writing about motherhood, infertility, and health. You can email me with any questions at risakerslakewrites@gmail.com.

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