Choosing between two evils, Bill Maher decides Ted Cruz would be less deadly than Donald Trump

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On Friday’s Real Time, Bill Maher broke down the Sophie’s Choice of the Republican race: Cruz or Trump. He can’t believe the Republicans ended up with these two candidates. “You guys started out with 17 candidates, and somehow ended up with Mussolini and Joe McCarthy,” he says, before comparing the two to diseases: Trump is “like Ebola, he’ll violently kill you right away,” and Cruz “is more like the Zika virus: we won’t see the damage until future generations.”

Maher decides the lesser of two evils, though, is Cruz, as he takes a swig from a jug of ‘Bleach.’ “Here’s the deal breaker with Donald Trump: he’s a lunatic,” Maher says. “If a non-rich or non-white person said the things he says, they wouldn’t put him in the White House—they’d put him in Bellevue. We can’t make a crazy person commander-in-chief, there are actual job requirements. It’s not like Mardi Gras parade king.”

He goes on to conclude that Trump is too much of a risk. “Do I think President Trump would actually disappear people? No, but I can’t rule it out. With him, I can’t rule anything out. What does he do on day one? Send Megyn Kelly to Guantanamo Bay? Or me? He’s already sued me! The president signs off on a kill list every day and sends out the drones, and I like going outside. So, yes, Ted Cruz will be our worst president, but Donald Trump might well be our last. Which is why I say: Better Ted Than Dead.”

Caleb is the founder of The Lanx. He is a scholar of satire with a Master's focused in satiric rhetoric, propaganda, and political cartoons. He also studied comedy and satire at Second City and UCB. He runs The Lanx from Los Angeles.
calebstenzinger.com

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