Four Places I Visited This Weekend

Five Guys The older Secret doesn’t like it, for some unfathomable reason, so we only go when he’s off doing something else. On Saturday he went to a football game with one of his Hair Bear Bunch peeps, and we seized the opportunity.

For the first time I altered my cheeseburger choice, and requested (in addition to lettuce, tomato, onion, mustard, and ketchup) green peppers. I noticed it on the list recently, and my WTF? meter went wild. But the more I thought about it…

Yeah, and it was really good. I recommend it, if you’re so inclined.

I wish they offered cucumber, ’cause I wouldn’t mind giving that a shot as well. It was a sangwich topping choice at a restaurant (bar) in Greensboro, and I thought it was surprisingly good. Perhaps I’ll smuggle in three or four slices of cuke next time, in a baggy?

Do you put anything unusual on burgers/sandwiches? How ’bout hot dogs? I saw a large-nostriled fellow load his hot dog up with a quarter pound of mayonnaise a few days ago, and I threw up a little inside my mouth.

Use the comments link to tell us about it, if you’re prone to the novelty toppings, etc.

And while we were enjoying our burgers (fukkin great, as usual) something strange happened. An older couple, probably in their seventies, went to the counter and placed their orders. Then they had a seat, and the woman immediately removed a brown paper bag from her purse.

And she proceeded to fill it with the free peanuts Five Guys has sitting around in crates. She acted like it was the most natural thing in the world; she didn’t try to hide it, or anything. She just stood there and shoveled handful after handful into her sack, then rolled down the top and sat it on the floor beside her purse.

Toney and the younger Secret had their backs to the action, so I was the color commentator for all this. And as I went on and on with “Can you believe that?!” the woman rose from her seat again.

And this time she grabbed one of the paper bowl-type things you’re supposed to use for the peanuts, and emptied all the iced tea lemon slices into it. Then she put another paper bowl over the top of it, and buried it deep inside her purse.

What kind of crap is that?! It’s almost shocking. Almost.

It’s the same kind of thing that ruined the one decent Chinese buffet in town. Shitkickers would go in there and fill a laptop bag with sesame chicken, load a Dairy Queen cup with shrimp, and waddle out with their Hammer pants sagging from the weight a dozen egg rolls.

Incredible.

The yuppie bar Toney and I like to get away for an hour a week, just the two of us. It’s often full-on chaos at our house, with everyone going in different directions, and all manner of craziness happening. So, we try to sit down with a pint or two on Saturday afternoons (or lately, Fridays during happy hour), and catch up.

This week we visited the yuppie bar on Saturday, before dinner. I don’t really like the yuppie bar that much, it always smells like a urinal cake, but we don’t have many options. Ever since our beloved Jim Dandy’s closed, we’re kinda stuck. Toney refuses to visit the dive bar, so we’re left with chain restaurants, or the Piss Biscuit Bar & Grill.

But, to be fair, they usually have a decent lineup of beers, at reasonable prices. So we tolerate the funk.

This time I started with a Victory Hop Devil, then switched to Newcastle Brown Ale. Both were tasty. I like Hop Devil, but it’s one of those situations where two’s too many, and one ain’t enough. I always limit myself to just one; it’s a good beer to start with.

We’re not usually at the yuppie bar so late in the day, and the dinner crowd was starting to arrive as we were preparing to leave. And you shoulda heard all the weird-ass “specials” the waitresses were flogging…

It makes me uneasy, if you want to know the truth. A bar should serve nachos, hot dogs, greasy burgers, steak fries, and not much else. When I hear the words “with a mint jelly glaze” I have a strong suspicion I might be in the wrong drinking establishment…

The liquor store A couple of weekends ago we experienced a false start to Bourbon Season. We had a bottle of Early Times in the cabinet, left from last Christmas, and got caught-up in the fallness of it all.

But it didn’t take hold, and felt less than genuine. The season is supposed to be kicked-off with a bottle of Maker’s Mark, not some leftover crapola from way back on a shelf somewhere.

So, we corrected the problem, and officially got the season underway this past weekend. And it seemed real this time.

Generally speaking, I’m not a liquor kinda guy. But during this time of year, a little whisky (or whiskey) hits the spot. Why is that? Why is there a Bourbon Season? The thought of Maker’s Mark in summer seems almost impossible to me.

It’s all tied to autumn, absolutely.

Target Toney had to pick up a few things, and we tagged along. And I decided to buy a copy of Dark Side of the Moon from their $9.99 rack.

I probably haven’t listened to that album in close to twenty years, and it’s not an exaggeration. I never owned it on CD, and almost never listen to classic rock radio stations. But I thought the price was good, and feel like every serious collection should contain it.

And yeah, it still sucks. I never liked Pink Floyd much. Oh, they had their moments, but overall… no. They’re artsy-fartsy and pretentious in my opinion, the musical equivalent of mint jelly glaze.

As far as I can tell, there are only four or five real songs on Dark Side of the Moon. The rest is just sound effects, and reminds me of those CDs stereo stores use to demonstrate speakers.

Incredibly lame. The most overrated album of all time? It’s gotta be way up there. Am I wrong?

What are the most overrated “classic” albums in history? This should be fun… Argue about it in the comments, my friends, and I’ll be back tomorrow.

Burger toppings…standards are mustard, ketchup, cheese, lettuce tomato pickle. Sometimes I’ll skip the mustard and ketchup and instead throw some guacamole and jalapenos on there.
Bacon is always good…but not good for the waistline. It’s a special treat now.
Grilled portobellos and swiss on an angus burger…delish.
Onion rings make a nice texture on a burger, especially when stacked between 2 thin patties and covered in ranch dressing.

Best thing for a good burger is a fried egg!! or two!!
man, a good fried egg, 1/2 to 3/4 lb burger, onions, tomato, bacon, fried ham, cheeses, mayo, and a poblano pepper, and that is a burger you can sink you face into (and stop your heart as well)

As i started reading the post Floyd DSOTM came on my Ipod, coicidence? Animals is a better Floyd album.

Springsteen Born in the USA is total crap, extremely over-rated, and i’m a big fan.

I think nearly all Pink Floyd and 70s Kiss are extremely overrated. And one of the most overrated albums of all time is Nirvana’s Nevermind. It’s got like 3 good songs and the rest is just noisy crap. I understand how it changed rock and all, but I’ll take Pearl Jam’s Ten anyday, which played an equal part in the whole grunge thing IMO.

Don’t throw up about the mayonnaise, Jeff. Mayonnaise on everything is good. Hot dogs and burgers alike! I’ve even had it on French Fries. YUM!

I don’t put anything bizarre on my hotdogs. I do like to have my mustard warmed up when I put it on my dog. And I want the bun warm too. And I like sauerkraut. My wife heats it up with a little pineapple or apple juice, and that makes it super good. I decided to put both sauerkraut and shredded cheese on my hotdog recently. It felt so wrong. But it tasted so right.

I had a friend in high school that liked miracle whip on his hotdogs. Sick bastard.

Toppings: I occasionally put guacamole on burgers and it’s dammed good, but a lot of people get the piss-shivers when they see me do it. I also put salsa on fried eggs, so I admit I’m a little weird.

Most Over-Rated Classic Album:

Thriller! I HATE every single note on this album and have from the moment it was first force-fed to the masses. When I was 16 I passed up a chance to get laid because the girl in question was a MJ fan and was always playing Thriller.

I agree with Jeff on Dark Side of the Moon. I just don’t get it and I’ve tried, both sober, drunk, and high. It does nothing for me.

Also, Nevermind the Bollocks hasn’t been mentioned yet. I listened to this album daily for about 10 years. Seriously, I wore out two vinyl copies and a couple of cassettes. I used to love it, and it was the soundtrack to my life from 1980 to 1990, but as time goes by it becomes increasingly irrelevant. I still like early punk: Stranglers, Clash, The Business, etc all get regular play in my life, but I just can’t take the Sex Pistols any more.

There are fewer better ways to welcome fall than with an old-fashioned. Put a thin film of maple syrup on the bottom of a rocks glass, along with a couple few splorts of Angostura bitters, a slice of orange and a maraschino cherry or two. Muddle the hell out of it, fill the glass with ice and add two to three fingers of Maker’s Mark. Top it off with club soda, rinse and repeat.

I had a friend whose family used to put peanut butter on top of pizza. That was a little bit too weird for me to try… though, when I make a homemade pizza, I like to sprinkle on pisatchios or cashews. Yummy!

There was a bar & grill I used to hang out in in Spokane, WA that had a Hawaiin Burger topped with swiss cheese, pineapple, sweet & sour sauce, lettuce and sunflower seeds (shelled of course) that was surprisingly good. The sunflower seeds really added some flavor.
Most overrated albums-anything by Phish or those other jam bands of that ilk.

I like Pink Floyd. And I don’t know why. Because it is mostly strange sound effects. Possibly because it reminds me of being drunk and watching The Wizard of Oz while listening to the Dark Side of the Moon.

I am not much for weird toppings on burgers; I am pretty much a tomato/cheese/mustard/onion/ketchup kind of girl. Heck, I won’t even eat lettuce on my burgers.

Dudley that’s Beet as in Beetroot that red crap that Russians make crap soup out of! don’t ask after all they are aussies! (P.S. It’s true when you flush in Australia the water really does go counter clockwise!)

Big Mac’s in Moscow definitely have pickles now, I recently had one. Of course that was a month and a half ago, before our economy dragged theirs into the shitter, so it might be back to cucumbers now…

Seriously. A douche.
He’s kinda like your friend’s cousin from out of town that you’ve heard talked up to legendary status but when you meet him it is painfully obvious he’s a retard. Bruce Springsteen was such a douche. A pretentious talentless prick with a contrived “everyman” image who must have blown a bunch of record executives to get his deal.

I bought Dark Side of the Moon on vinyl sometime in the 70’s and didin’t like it at all. However, i love Wish You Were Here. Sometime in the 90’s i accidently bought Dark Side of the Moon on CD, thinking i was buying the album i liked. I recently saw it still sealed in the store shrink wrap. Wasted my money twice, i guess it’s too late to return it.

Gretchen, the hubby sounds likes afraid he’s gonna catch a buzz and turn hippie if he hears any Pink Floyd. Sneek some Dark Side of the Moon in his CD player and then beat him into submission with The Wall. That ought to get him back on track and listening to some good music.

BTW Jeff, when you listen to Pink Floyd, it is a must that you have to be stoned to appreciate the ambience of the music. Put on a DVD of the Wizard of OZ and start the movie with the sound off while simultaneously starting the Dark Side of the Moon CD. This will blow your mind of how the two are in sync if you get the timing right.

I used to wait tables at a local place on Siesta Key down in Sarasota FL. We had a fan favorite. The Old Salty Dog. A foot long dog dipped in beer batter then fryed to a golden perfection. People would line up around the block for one. I dont like it too greasy for me.

We also did a nekkid dog, (not dipped and fryed) and the tourist from Chiago would ask for cukes and diced tomatoes on their dogs.

I’m glad some Surfers pointed out to Jeff that cucumbers are un-pickled pickles.

Strange toppings? How about this one? I grew up eating hot dogs topped with sour cream, mustard, chopped tomatoes and onions. Mmmmm, the mixture of flavors is sooo good. So, imagine my surprise when I go to my first baseball game . . . I order a hot dog and I start to look around for the condiments. Only mustard and onions. WTH??? Where is everything else? Sad day in Los Angeles.

Now I can make my “decorate” my own hot dogs at home AND add chili. Yum!

Most overated? How about Springsteen, Dylan, and Grateful Dead. I just don’t get them.

aminnev – I second the motion on Springsteen and Dylan but I have to recant on the Dead. Guess thats the hippie in me. Your selection of dog condiments, well, putting sour cream on a hot dog is just as bad as putting mayonaise on it. Uckk!!! Best odd thing I’ve ever had on a dog is a little hippie place in Bloomington, Indiana does what is called a Rueben Dog. It’s basically a Rueben less the corned beef or pastrami (depend on which side of NY you visit) with a split half smoke (thats smoked sausage to some of you folks). For those who don’t know what a rueben is, thats is two slices of marbel rye bread, grilled of course not toasted with above mentioned meat hot and piled high, sour kraut, swiss cheese and topped with thousand island dressing. Best served sliced in half with Charles Chips and kosher barrel pickle.

Now don’t get me wrong. A simple, straighforward, fun rock and roll song has it’s place. But they hardly deserve the accolades that they receive.

Shame on those that diss Led Zep. With few exceptions: pick any moment in any song and there is something musically interesting happening from one or all four. The way they weave together the intruments (Plants voice being one of them) is brilliant. The drums are not just keeping time.

I put mayo on every samwitch, ketchup on nothing except meat pie. Creamy cucumber salad dressing is good on sandwiches when the home produce section is depleted. Mustard, BBQ, steak and hot sauce never go in the fridge. I don’t like cold sauce on hot food.

Rye whiskey is the year round drink for me but STAY AWAY from Canadian Club…nobody in Canada actually drinks that headache inducing garbage. If you like it a little sweet Crown Royal is the way to go, otherwise it’s Wisers.

I was hungry and Mom wasn’t around, my dad would fix me an onion and olive sammich, and I actually ate them. WTH was I thinking? Lunch is now ham, cheese, red lettuce, and cuke slices on wheat, dressed with Kroger’s Naturally Fresh Ranch Dressing, and a little S&P. Their ranch dressing is absolutely the best. It also works great as a dip for chicken strips.