(Closed) Etiquette of declining rehearsal dinner invitation?

But really, you sound incredibly kind and are clearly a conscientious person. I don’t think any way you decide to decline could be on par with than the way she’s treating people. It quite honestly sounds to me like this girl could use a little lesson in reaping the consequences of her actions. I would attend the rehearsal and then just…not go to the dinner. And if she asks, tell her plainly and directly why.

sunflower22: Well that is a highly disoraganized way to figure out how many people are comign to your RD! I wouldn’t even worry about it. An invitation is not a summons! She is in for a rude awakening if she expects everyone to show up (without their SOs)

Screw her. Seriously. Definitely don’t go to the rehearsal dinner, and tell her straight up that it’s because you’re uncomfortable attending without your husband. An invitations is not a summons. Good riddence to her, and good for you for being the bigger person for so long. Ugh, I’m mad on your behalf!

You don’t seem to care about her so you should probably excuse yourself from the rehearsal dinner but NOT the wedding. She does have the right not to invite whoever to the rehearsal dinner and you not judge that she’s doing it bc of another person’s kid – so what, she has the right to feel that way, it is VERY hard to plan a wedding and you are judging? While it is very nice of you to pay for a pianist, what was your point in saying that she didn’t seem angry – to actually give her credit? Because otherwise, you even say you are fed up with her, when honestly I don’t see what she has done for you to be fed up. And btw, you made a commitment to her for the singing so you should do it bc it is the right thing, whether or not you agree with her not inviting other people to the rehearsal dinner (not your decision, not your right to judge). Decline nicely the invitation to the rehearsal dinner, save her the money then since you won’t appreciate it. But do NOT back out of your commitment.

You sound like a very good friend, and she doesnt deserve you. I would not attend the dinner and simply say sorry I cant make it. If she pushes I would say you have plans with your husband that night. As much as I wouldnt want to I would just sing at her wedding so that it doesnt become about you pulling out last minute, and then see what you want to do. Maybe she will wake up to herself or maybe not, either way do what you think is right for you!

By The Way is your husband invited to the wedding? If so how does he feel about going?

jess9090: I think it is extremely rude to uninvite people to an event like she has done with OP’s husband. I think it would have been fine if she did not invite the husbands at all but to the univite? I would be offended by that! Plus she asked OP to be a bridesmaid and then took it back. I think OP would be well within her rights to go back on her word about singing because her friend obviously is happy to go back on the things she has said. I think the fact the OP is still planning on singing just shows that she does in fact care and it is her freind who does not care about her. Just me opinion 🙂