March 03, 2018

Embryo In! Now we wait....

Please welcome the newest addition to the family:

Cute, right?

Transfer went well. A 2:30pm transfer kind of leaves you the day to feel slightly on edge but I have to say this time around Noah and I were kind of...chill, dare I admit. The whole process was fairly easy and I love that the embryologist came into the room to chat about her process, and that we were able to watch the pulsing little embryo in the dish get sucked into the catheter. This one looks different than Momo did at that stage. Momo was literally bursting out of her shell. And that's who she is. She wakes up before 6am every morning like a Pop Tart looking for adventure, and often her dad. And her breakfast aka cereal bots. She's really strong, and had to be to survive the pregnancy we had, and she's just... zooming to go. Always. This little guy or gal seems a bit more contained. There was a buzz of energy around the embryo as it got sucked up, but it was...chill. Please. Yes. A chill child who sleeps through the night. I'm reading into all this way too much I know. But it's kind of fun to do. My dad says since this one has been in the freezer for like, 8 years now, he/she will have TWICE the energy of Momo. I'm going to disagree. Also, I'm no spring chicken by the time this kid is born, and I'll have a 3 1/2 year old in tow. Chill is good.

I've been hanging out in a hotel by myself and I keep thinking that "I don't feel anything," which makes me laugh at myself. Even though this isn't my first rodeo I go back to the obsessive thoughts about sensations and superstitions. I didn't meditate or wear lucky socks. I didn't carry special rocks in my pocket during transfer and I didn't do hypnosis the week before. I did eat my pineapple core and watch a lot of Shark Tank, and here I am. About to walk back over to the clinic (yes, walk, they are much more lax about bed rest) for my progesterone shot, which.... for anyone who has done these, no thanks. And then I'll head back to the Island where Noah's family is and lay around and eat, because that's what makes embryos happy, right?

Just before I went to bed at 9pm, Noah texted me to rest up because "our new bigger life adventure begins tomorrow." I really hope he's right. Beta is on the 12th. Until then...

Comments

Dear Maya,
I’ve always meant to write to you. When we were trying desperately to conceive our now 3–year-old son, and for the whole of my pregnancy with him, I would look almost daily at your blog. For a few moments I’d forget to hold my breath and I would just read and let tears stream down. They’re falling near the same way now, and I’m this far out of the game. So I’ve always meant to tell you how much respect and admiration I have for you for taking the time and having the heart to share yourself and your story- and for holding so many others up and validating theirs along the way. I’ve been happy for more than 3 years now, but I still peek in on your blog every so often, mostly to find out if Momo’s brother or sister is coming, but also because I believe what you continue do is beyond important. You and Noah are very much in my thoughts these next days into weeks. x

I hope in 5 days you get to see a positive! Praying for you and your family ❤️ I LOVED the documentary and cried a few times. You are amazing Maya! Do you have an public Instagram account you post to? I’d love to follow your journey. I have a mommy instagram I use to follow all kinds of inspiration and everyday moms and women ttc or going through ivf. Only 5 more days!

THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE!! I'll answer what I can here:
-- Hi Dee-- progesterone shots are just the clinics protocol. And estrogen shots. My booty looks...and feels...ridiculously itchy and lumpy already but it worked for Momo so I'll gladly do it again.
--FIngers crossed for you too Lianne!!!
--Pamela...Yessssss.
Thank you so much Heather and Jen and everyone.
M

Thinking and praying for you- you deserve this and have and are more than enough. You're thought patterns are identical to mine and no doubt many others on the ivf rollercoaster. Been through 13 cycles incuding donor and still waiting on our rainbow after all of this, we go back for literally our own last shot in next two months, another and last donor cycle. We're broke financially, physically and mentally. We've downloaded and watched your documentary with tears in our eyes and it gave me back some of the hope I'd lost and much needed perspective on genetics and what family really is. Your parents are amazing btw. Can I ask why progesterone in shot form ?

Hello Maya, I stayed up late last night watching your documentary on Netflix. My husband and I are TTC our second. While I have never experienced infertility, I am beginning my two-week-wait (i think) and I wanted to gain some perspective and patience. I don't know what my cycle is like because I got off of my IUD about 3.5 weeks ago so I feel a little in the dark with no period. Anyhow, your movie really helped me. I laughed a lot and cried a lot. Although my measly two week wait seems so insignificant compared to your 4 year wait, it still helped me.
I admire the love between you and Noah. You laugh and joke together. You cry together. I loved his response when he said, "you're not broken. we're broken." I'm not sure all husbands would have stuck by their wives through all that you've been through. It's amazing and inspiring.
I'm a deputy attorney general in Hawaii and I do child abuse and neglect cases. I know what you mean when you say that people on meth get pregnant so easily. I do zero to three court for babies in CPS cases. SO many relatives/friends of mine have done IVF, doctors, lawyers, etc. All the while I go to work trying to protect children from parents who cannot care for their children and might be on their 5th or 9th child.
I'm so happy to see that you have a blog. I will definitely be checking and following to see if you get a positive test! I test next Friday on 3/16, so we're pretty close. Crossing my fingers for you from Hawaii! - Lianne

p.s. your daughter Momo the cutest! It's so neat that you are going back for her sibling embryo!

On our fourth and (finally) successful transfer (now 37 weeks with our boy!), I also finally felt chill and just kind of happy and ready and positive. It was such a nice change. Feeling positive for you four as well. :) You know now that you and your body can do it, and here's hoping for fair winds and following seas.

I have everything crossed for you Maya and will be keeping a close eye on your blog in the coming weeks. It feels like an eternity since we went through the IVF process, even though it was only 15 months ago. Reading your blog post from the other day brings all my emotions back; the irrational thoughts, the obsessive googling. Why do we do it to ourselves?!
From today's post it sounds as though you are in the right place and you have done everything you can. I really really hope the 12th brings you good news. With love and best wishes from England x