seven slapdash scoops

1. The only stitches I’ve ever had were 8 amazingly painful sutures under my tongue. You know that little bat wing membrane, that skin suspender hanging out under your tongue? Exorcised and sheared asunder order of my orthodontist. To this day, I could not tell you why.

2. Every year when I was younger my Gram, Mom, sister and I would get up at the chasm of dawn and go to the local farmer fields and pick strawberries. We’d pluck, bathe, hull, macerate, sugarfy and can homemade strawberry perserves…or strawberry jelly…jam it, I know there’s a right word for it…

3. I have emetophobia. Which is the fear of vomiting. Not me doing it necessarily (though who really ENJOYS that?), but seeing, hearing, smelling or being around other people where there is even a chance of it happening, let alone the terror actually occurring. I get full on shakes and rapid heartbeat galore – I even ask people to screen movies for me and tell me if there’s a scene where I have to close my eyes and plug my ears. I’ll be a great mother.

4. See that third piercing in my cartoon self above? I got that in college because I love Buffy. And I want to be her. And she has one, so it only seemed natural.

5. When I was little I routinely wedged my rocking chair in front of the door of my bedroom closet before I went to sleep. The Wicked Witch of the West, Batman, and the vacuum lived in there, and I wasn’t about to be snuck up on.

6. I only have one co-worker at Becsketch Productions and it’s my cat Calamity. Her cooler talk is kind of lame but she treats me to epic warblings from downstairs when the house gets too quiet. In turn, when my legs bend at the hips I create Lap, which she’s rather fond of. It’s a symbiotic relationship.

7. I used to think those super speed addendums, provisos and quid pro quos at the end of radio contests said, “Nopurchasenecessary, visitstoreforfulldetails, boyswereprohibited”. Which I come to find out is really “VOID where prohibited” – I always wondered what boys did as a group to remove themselves from entry and then earn their way back in.