Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

how do I help my husband

I have never done this before, but I have nowhere else to turn. I don't think it is my place to speak about this with any friends or family because it would be unfair to my spouse.... My husband has been struggling with depression for about 8 months now (that I am aware of) and I have tried to help him through this as best as I know how, but nothing seems to help. He has tried Effexor (and he couldnt handle the side effects) and Paxil (didnt help at all), and a couple others I cant remember the names of. Usually I am the one in this family who struggles with depression, so you would think I would know what to do, but I am clueless. I have tried motivating him to get out with his friends, or for us to go out as a family. I try to be positive about everything, and help him talk through it when I notice that he is having a bad day. I try to give him advice for things I have tried, and things that helps me, like excersise (yes, I know it's hard to make yourself want to do that when you would rather lay in bed all day...but the first time is the hardest, it gets easier each time..for me anyways, especially when you feel the difference in yourself afterwords). I have read the book The Seceret, and it helped me try to teach myself to think positive thoughts especially when I am feeling bad, to help make me not feel so negative all the time. I try to do things with him that he enjoys, but all it seems to do is pass the time...hes happy while we do things, but right afterwords its back to how he felt before. He sleeps 12 or more hours a day, and I have learned that I can't desturb that or else hes pissed at me all day. I am getting to the point where I feel hopeless and so very frustrated, and I don't want to give up on him, but I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel (and obviously neither does he). I feel like I have run out of ideas, and I want to help him get better because I know its possible, I have struggled with it my whole life, and I continue to motivate myself every day so I don't continue to live my life that way because I have a husband and a child to take care of, but I don't know how. Please WE need help to get through this.

Anytime you deal with someone close to you that has emotional issues it is hard, the best thing you can do is therapy, he needs to get right to the bottom of what is causing his misery...Its hard to admit things sometimes, but this is how we heal..Good luck hun

Anytime you deal with someone close to you that has emotional issues it is hard, the best thing you can do is therapy, he needs to get right to the bottom of what is causing his misery...Its hard to admit things sometimes, but this is how we heal..Good luck hun

does he see a pdoc regularly? i highly recommend that...and if he has one that does therapy too, during the same session, then he'll be getting therapy. my pdoc does both. also, he may need to try a new med, sometimes it takes awhile to find the right one. finally, therapy would be the best way to help him, if you can manage to convince him.
The exercise is a great idea-maybe you can join a gym together and motivate each other to go?

Unfortunately your husband is at a point in his depression where he feels nothing will help, he feel hopeless and doesn't want to do anything. Unfortunately you can try and push therapy on him or try and get him to talk to you but if he's not ready to do it, it wont do any good. I've been there I was pushed into therapy and I found myslef lying to my therapist because I wasn't ready to accept what she had to say or deal wiht it. The Only thin that i can recommend is little baby steps, there is a book called inner strength and success by dr. Wayne Dyer and very uplifting book and it is inspirational. I also can recommend posting up inspirational quotes where he'll see there everyday, this posted reminding him of his good qualities and that he is a strong person. And my most favorite one is something posted nice and big saying, &quot;I am in control of my feelings, If I choose to focus my thoughts on all the negative I will be sad, If I choose to focuse all my energy into teh positive my day will be better&quot; Little things like that, it may sound corny but that was my first step into getting help. stay strong stay supportive but give him space to realize he needs help. I'm not sure if this helped but I hope it did a little.

I'm afraid of pushing him too much, for sure. I know from my experience that I had to be ready to want to help myself, but it is just so hard to watch someone you love spiraling downward, and theres nothing you can do to fix it. I will definately check out that book. Is there a website that you know that has good inspirational quotes that I can use? I definately feel like I have more motivation to keep fighting for him to get better. I didn't realize that I would need support to help give him strength....thank you all for any help you can give!

I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...

Has anyone tried these supplements? Do they give MGers more quality of life by improving memory and overall well being?Thanks!Barbel

All content posted on this site is the responsibility of the party posting such content.
Participation on this site by a party does not imply endorsement of any other party's content,
products, or services. Content should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.