Yes, I farted inches from your head. No, it was not intentional. What happened was this:
It all started when I went looking for a particular skein of yarn. I started down what had to have been the most narrow aisle of yarn in the world. It was so narrow, I thought about tossing a string with some Velcro attached (Velcro– two aisles over) towards my purchase, and dragging it out old western jail-key style.

It was like this, only she was crouching and I was farting.

In hindsight, this would have been the preferable option. You were crouched down, examining some yarn, about two thirds down the aisle. Now, I’m not saying that the proceeding events are your fault, but your head was parallel to my ass, and you were taking up most of the aisle. My skein was on the right, past you…