I know that this is old, and that Tom is in a better place now, but I just need to say this:

I had only been here a think a month before he came. I remember sending him a message that said if he needed anything, to ask me or anyone with a colored name. I sorta showed him the ropes. We became good friends, and our characters even dated for a while. I remember we were like 12, and I started to develop a crush on him. Of course I never told him, but whenever we chatted, it was the highlight of my day. He always was the sunshine showing through the clouds of life. But then, I left. No explanation, I just left. I didn't even say good bye to anyone.I came back a year later, and I looked inmy inbox, and saw Tom had messaged me, worried about where I was. I was glad he had worried, and when I went back to the chatbox, I got to talk to Tom one last time. He had become distant, and I felt something was wrong. But I didn't say anything. Then I left again. With out saying good bye. I just pretended nothing here ever happened, and moved on with my life.I remember last night, I had written something on my tumblr, wanting to say thank you to everyone on thus site. I even said to myself I was going to finally tell Tom how I felt about him. So I came on, and went to te chat box. Anoter one of te people I showed te ropes too (Morgan) was now admin, and I felt so proud that two people who I had sorta mentored had became admins. I was talking with Morgan, an I told her I waited to talk with Tom. Then she sent me a message. A message that said Tom had committed suicide in September. At first I didnt believe it. We had gone through alot together, and now he was just gone. So I'm writing this message, to say, Tom. Ever since I messaged you, I've had a crush. For four, now five years, that crush has never gone away. I miss yu buddy. I wish I could have said good bye. I wish I could have said something.

He came to me the night before he died. In a dream. He explained to me that everything was going to be okay. He didn't tell me what happened to him, but he reassured me he would be okay. We were at his house. I walked across his couch, I met his mother, his siblings, we were all together, and we were all happy. I hugged his mother, Ursula, and we shared stories of mine and Toms friendship. It ended at a wide river, it was foggy and there was a small raft. He sat on it alone and floated towards the other side, while looking at me the whole way.

I believe this was his way of saying goodbye to me, and I also believe that his passing was easy, despite how bad the scene looked. I don't know if anyone else had any encounters with him after his passing, but I did. I still send him skype messages, telling him about my day, asking how he is, and I keep having dreams of him.

You know that episode of Zach and Cody where one of them has a bad dream, wakes up, realizes he's still dreaming, and wakes up again? I did that. I dreamt that Tom wasn't actually dead, and in that dream I woke up, depressed that it was just a dream. And to torture me, it turned out to be reality, and then I woke up for real and realized what the reality really was, that he was dead. I still cry every night thinking about him, and I don't think I'll ever forget how much of an impact he had on all of us.