Parenting our Bee after infertility

My year of sexy

Mia Friedman thinks that I should be feeling more sexy, ‘plumped up and luscious’ new mum that I am. This is also the plan of the girl I overheard recently when I sat nursing near her at a cafe. She explained in specific detail to a new beau how her new year’s resolution this year was to have a year of sexy. Apparently her resolution for 2009 was discipline, and it wasn’t much fun. I smirked inwardly to myself. Surely I had one up on her already? Naked boobs, what could be more sexy than that? Oh, apart from those with a baby on the other end.

However, they may just have a point. When we were TTC I was focused on what my body was trying and yet failing to do – when I was pregnant it had a very specific job, and since Lady G was born, the focus on my body has been to make sure it can sustain her, and fit back into my pre-pregnancy clothes. Certainly, I’ve very proud of what my body has achieved and at very low cost to me – but I think I’ve forgotten to enjoy just being in my skin.

I’m not entirely sure what I need to do here. My pre-baby compass would point to high heels, a good gym workout and flirting with the gay barista at my favourite cafe. But it’s hard to feel comfortable when I have 5kg to lose, when I’m trudging around in sneakers pushing a pram, and when my gym visits are spent staring at my outline in the mirrors as I do my weights and thinking to myself, ‘that needs to go. And that.’

This is the rant of someone who has always struggled with self-image, and here we go again – I have to reinvent a new image now I’m a mother. But it’s really important that I get this right. I know a lot of my body issues were passed down to me by my mother, and I am intent to avoid them going down another generation.