Thursday, February 22, 2007

Time:3.30pm, Place :LOwer tankbund road near to the temple,i was travelling back from the university and at a traffic signal saw a Pomeranian trying to cross the road and he was badly limping,and before i can think the lights turned green we almost moved 50mtrs and my heart screamed "Why dint you stop you Idiot" and before i could think i asked the Autodriver to take a U turn and i rushed to the spot,but he was no where to be seen.bought a bottle of water and kept walking only to find him at the temple premises where he found a cool shade and he looked so tired and hungry,tried touching him,he was harmless but scared and he refused the water too and then i decided he needs help,a shelter which i am not in a position to give him,i can take him in for a day but then when i go back to work? mom already has two and she will scream at me {but then i know she wouldn say no,but the one's which are there already will not take it positively} and he needs a doctor and maybe he lost his home,or maybe someone left him on roads {How insensitive} and i called Blue Cross only to know that the van is already out in the city and they have no one atleast for an hr and then i just put him in the auto only to be surrounded to be by two persons who were silently watching me till then,they were busy playing cards there,and they demanded money for taking the dog away claiming the dog to be theirs,after arguments and threats and a few phone calls i just rushed him to JubliHills Road No 35 where Blue cross takes in so many stray dogs and other animals,provides them care and medical aid.On the way he tried moving away but i just help him close,how i wished i could keep him with me but then i know the constraints myself,so i just had to take him there.He was so tired of all the tiredness that he just put his head in my lap and slept off,and i just had tears in my eyes,how simple these creatures are,all they need is love and affection and we humans are such complex people with so many unwanted emotions in life.We reached the place and he was checked by a doctor,he broke his leg and he needs complete rest for a while before he can walk properly and play around,he was unable to put down his leg,and he was made to drink milk and then put in a seperate enclosure,he will be given a bath and then he can have vaccinations i am told,he looks so beautiful while Krishna the helper there held him for a check up and he is not at all harmful,and he was so scared of all about it,he must have felt so helpless all these days,and he couldn even explain it in words,i just brushed his hair and gave him a hug and walked out of the place,felt a bit empty,sad that i had to leave him behind,but then.....why are we in so much rush always that we cannot understand others pain? weather it is animals or fellow human beings? what is the rush for? what is that we are going to take away from here? World will be a better place to live in if we just try,simple gestures sure make a lot of difference to this world,and i hope we all think of it,and i am sure we can spare some time,little money to help them who need us,think again,I don't know if God exists,for me this is worshiping, If someone finds it funny that i spent 375rs for auto and traveled all the way with a street dog and if i am labeled as being crazy then thats your problem {Yeah,you,my good friend!!!!!! who made fun of it all},I am what i am,and my loved ones like me for this craziness:)If any one of you staying in Hyderabad feels you can make a donation {cash,kind,they need newspapers and cotton also at times} do get in touch with them,after all it takes small steps to start towards our goal always,and if you have kids then do make them understand the value of humanlifes,when i have my kids i will sure teach them how to love others,and how much they can help others,and yes,thats a promise,thats why i put it here in my blog,so that i dont forget it in myfast paced journey of life where we all in a hurry to reach somewhere,but Where to???

Monday, February 19, 2007

I wish things fall back to their respective corners of life soon,wish there was no uncertainty about anything,Those dark clouds of sadness looming over the life again,will it rain?As i see the reflection in the mirror, all my questions keep staring back at me,will there ever be any answers? what is satisfaction? happiness? where can i buy it in loads and fill my accounts with it and what do i do to make sure it is safe in there always? where can i lock away these tears to?how do i discard the pain life render from time to time? why do i have to inherit the big chunk of it always? And why does questions have no answers when i need them the most? And when all i can feel is silence in the darkness of the night i stop staring into the blankness and close the windows and get to sleep,Hoping that tomorrow is going to be a bright morning and with the sun rays creeping in i will wake up to read all the answers to my questions ,Hopefully,nothing wrong in Dreaming and Hoping,Is it not? and the wait continues.........

Sunday, February 04, 2007

"how does it feel to start at 0 after a 100? asked a friend when i started writing here last year Feb 3rd,Yes,its been already one year,the first birthday of Aalapana and a big thankyou to all of you who read,commented, silent at times but still been a part of the smiles,pain,joy,tears and anger and frustration which poured through the words here,

It feels great,to be the same,to not twist words,to not hide the real self,it feels good,but to tell you the truth i still miss the place which has been associated with an important phase of my life,but then here or in life its good to move on and what a journey it has been,past one year,Thankyou god,for everything and for everyone who stood by me and thank god for the people who left without a trace,i am better off without them and i have no regrets of leaving behind anything or anyone.

"Friends" what would be life without them? had a fantastic time with S and Y and we did nothing out of the world but i think i would feel the same even if we three meet at home for just 10min, because there are no pretensions,no artificial emotions,and what makes this friendship so unique is the fact that we act normal and we argue and in a min forget it and call up each other and talk about something else.and more than anything what i love is the fact that hubby liked them instantly when he met them before wedding and today he says "if i ever have a complaint against you,i wont go to your mom,i will go to S and K" and that makes the huge difference,12yrs of friendship and today i felt a bit sad that i would be moving to another city soon,whom will i call up at all odd hrs and bug about the days events?who will willingly work on my all time unfair demands with a smile,one who acts as a driver who takes me to any place in Hyd whenever i have to travel and one who is ever ready for giving advices whenever i rush to him with strange problems:)

and who will alter all their schedules just because i suddenly feel that we need to go for a movie or a book fair or go buy a dress,who will bear my most boring shopping sessions where all they do is carry my bags and i will be walking around buying things,how much ever i fight,how much ever i say i wont talk to them they still wait,maybe because they know that i will comeback to them,i do and they do the same,more than anything who will know the real me the way these two people know? None i would say,maybe one day hubby will succeed but for now no one else know the real ME except for them,i will sure miss them,well,but then do distances matter when we are bonded for life? maybe not,thank god,i count my blessings today and smile.