Thursday, January 13, 2011

November 29, 2007 PRISON

I am sitting here, missing you very much. But that is ok. I know that by thinking of you and whatever our mission is I will feel ok.

I’m sure you know by now I am confused. But as you said, maybe we are not meant to know everything right now. Even though I may be a sleuth it doesn’t mean I even want to know exactly how it will end.

Anyway, writing this makes me feel better and this one is just for you and for me to burn, if I so please, because there may be some messages that are just meant for me and there are other ones to send out, eventually, and that has been my message so far.

Hey listen to my horo scope for today.

“The celestial firmament is putting you through many trials in a process of preparation. A particular problem has a purpose. The rough road you are on is temporary.”

After I read this I calmed down. But I must admit I was feeling very angry that you are taken away from me because of absolutely mind baffling ignorance of some kind. And I do know everything in the end has its reasons.

That doesn’t mean I am not so angry at this whole fucking system and maybe that is what we are meant to be.

You are allowed to be angry and of course that is something that the powers that think they are allowed to be don’t want us to know. I don’t know how many times I thought today, before I even suspected there would be any upsets:

The meek and the mild will inherit the earth.

Wow… does that sound like a lot of propaganda or what. So, we just let everything happen, don’t judge, etc., maybe we will be docile sheep and let sleeping dogs lie.

By the way Tee is ok. I gave him his ball and assured him that everything is ok and he is acting like his old normal self now and making me smile.

You told me once that when I am going through the worst of times maybe that is the time to pick up my Art. So instead of going crazy, seething with all the anger I am feeling about so many of the truths we have found out, I will write.

Here is a telling story. Tee ripped up the piece of paper with the address of where you are being held. Does this say something? Tee is mad too!

Enough is enough. Time to get angry with all these sheep and if they don’t want to hear that is their karma and no longer will I give a second thought to compassion.

Let go and let God. This will be the second night that we are not together because once again the good get thrown in jail and meanwhile everyone else just hides their heads or feels they have some justice?ifcation. It makes me so angry how sheep just ignore all the facts and bury their heads and go along with all these fucking, yes fuck, fuck, fuck ing rules that absolutely make no common sense and don’t even let me get started on morals.

These “rules” are very dangerous, prejudice, self serving, etc., etc... And really no ones God damn business but your own and your own conscious.

Anyway Tee is acting like a real trooper and so am I. We will not believe that anything bad will happen, because after all there is karma. If anyone wants to just ignore what is right in their faces then karma will follow through. This is true justice. We make our own karma. I could look at this as some horrible experience or a way of experiencing something very beautiful and profound. We have been given some more messages. And this one we have got to do something about.

Helps me get through this, so I will continue to write another one… just to keep me busy so I don’t think about how much I am missing you and am worried that you are feeling worried about us?

Dear Al,

Me again. Tee is staring out the window, looking for you. I heard that dogs have no sense of time? I wonder who came up with this one? Guess maybe they were a dog at one time. Ridiculous. How can anyone know what is in someone or some creatures mind? I am sure God would give us this privacy. Yes humans, once again egotistically thinking that they can read minds. And if you can’t, just terrorize them so much, that you make them say what your beliefs are. This is how far we have come. Disgusting.

Right now I am down on the human race. I am embarrassed to be one. Kind of like I felt walking into the Vatican and being catholic.

Anyway, thank God for you and Tee. Just want to be with you.

I know there are many souls on earth that feel the same way we do. I hope.

I am so confused right now. It’s hard to explain. Sometimes when I remember back I can’t believe everything that has happened.

All I know is that I am not happy when I’m not with you. Either is Tee. We are ok. Don’t worry. We just wish you were here. I am trying my best. It makes me feel sick about the whole world and what so many people are going through. I know this is not the way to feel. Maybe there is a message here that I am not ready to hear.

But I will tell you I don’t like this.

I am complaining. There is only one thing I ask, pray for, and that is that you, me and Tee are together.

I know it has only been one night but it’s difficult for me to feel trust in what is going to happen next. I go along with life and think I will give up everything except you and Tee. Everything else will work out along the way.

Maybe I am being a baby, but I have to complain, because this is not fair. I know this. I don’t know if writing this is helping or making me feel worse. All I know is that I am afraid to lay my head down right now. I don’t want to think too much.

I thought today that maybe if I just trusted in my higher power or whatever directs us and really believed in this (which I did) everything would go smoothly. This feels like a rude awakening and I don’t like it. It makes me feel fear.

Right now fear is not what is going to help. There is too much fear around. I have been trying my best to say that I am not suppose to feel fear and I have let it go and then find out you are in jail.

No, I don’t like this. No I don’t want this. This is not helpful . This makes me worry about what will come next.

I want to trust that if we are hopeful, honest, and compassionate that there are other forces that give us right directions. But I can’t fathom how this is helpful. This just makes me feel worried about so many things I don’t want to worry about. Worry is wasteful.

There is one thing I ask for and that is taken away. Now I am in doubt. Especially because I was feeling confident that the only way to go through this was without worry. Everything will be ok… trust… believe… this is not helping.

Is this some kind of test? This is not helping. Of course the future is uncertain. I know this. But when I am feeling confident I say to myself, Al told me not to worry, everything will work out. And now I don’t know where to turn for help?

We have no money in our bank account. Can I bail you out of jail? But right now I don’t feel like prayer is doing anything but getting us deeper into some hole.

I have been trying not to make myself feel hopeless. Trying and most of the time succeeding in saying everything will work out ok. But look at what is going on. Now I’m worried about where all these injustices will lead to. There is one thing I know and that is we certainly can’t count on our justice system.

I’m sitting here thinking maybe I am doing something wrong?

I will tell you I do not feel happy when I don’t have you. And this makes me very discouraged. This does not help.

Tell me what I am supposed to do? All I do is wait for directions, follow them and then get into more trouble. This is not what I want. I have been willing to give up everything I wanted and was ok without and now I am tested. This makes me doubt that anything I do will be effective.

I have lost so many things over and over again. I do not want to go through this anymore.

Are we not supposed to go after our dreams? Am I getting the message wrong? What is the message? Now I am so confused.

If I am doing something wrong I need to know to correct it.

I am trying very hard not to let everything come down around us. This makes me feel like doing nothing because there is nothing I can do. Maybe this is the message. I can not control anything?

I did this because I had faith. I do not want to lose faith. Maybe I will feel differently tomorrow. But right now it is very difficult not to worry and to have faith, to believe that we can make a difference.

How many people feel like this? I know I am stronger than most. Should I just ignore everything and just look after my own?

1:30 p.m. what is the date?

“Every event can be viewed as two sides

Negative – Positive

Ying – Yang

Feminine – Masculine

We are on the verge of a metamorphosis. Christ… everything must change.

Happening now

Transformation

Follow the news

Changes are yet to come

They are meant to

Everything is going through change

Future metamorphosis

Humans will step up further

Do not fear

We will all progress to our next development”

Ok what do I want? I want you and Tee and to live a life without strife. I want to have the respect we deserve because we have dared to be rebels because of beliefs of what is right and wrong. Because we have known all along.

I just want my own life, with you and a family, and of course Tee. I try not to think about this too much because I know that we must wait. I have no doubt, when everything is right, God will give us what we really want to have.

Hey, since you have been gone, we have a couple of children, teenagers, actually. Nikki and Katie. Katie wants to live with us. I am kind of confused as to what to do about this. But I am proud to say that these kids love us.

I just want to tell you how much I love you. There will never be another one for me. And I thank god, if I haven’t enough, this is what it truly is all about.

I remember when we met for the first time. I knew it then, so deep inside, even if I didn’t recognize it. I looked in your eyes. I keep on seeing them. This is what keeps me from feeling total despair. I look into your eyes. I see you there. I know you know what I feel.

Dear Al,

I guess today isn’t meant to be the one. I am listening to Michael Tsarion, Atlantis, 1,2,3,4 and 5. I am really starting to understand. Oh, how I would like you to be here with me and Tee and we could discuss this.

But we have to raise our consciousness. We are being reincarnated. We can all serve mankind.

I keep on looking at my email, hoping, wishing, praying that someone will set you free. Or at least drive me there!

But I guess right now it isn’t meant to happen. Anyway a lot of good has come out of this. I now understand why you are angry with your family. Me too, I’m angry at mine! It’s very difficult to watch when it is so personal to you.

I was driven to knock on Debbie and Andrew’s door and despite my feelings of antagonism, I felt that it was time to talk about the truth and I just let myself babble. I know I should keep my mouth shut sometimes.

Anyway they sounded supportive, even if there was nothing they knew to do.

I did get some clues. Debbie’s reaction is what is important. She said that maybe some of us can not go down this road, because they are not so brave.

I know now we are part of a chosen group, because we asked for it. I keep telling myself this right now. All I want is some normality for you me and Tee.

Now it is 4 o’clock and no one is there to rescue me, but some are trying. They think they have got to do their jobs first. Well that is what they have been taught.

I am trying so hard not to miss you too much. You have to hear the message I just heard!

We are all Christ

We are physically immortal. The light workers are meant to tell this fact.

I would like to hope and I do pray that someone is looking after you and that we don’t have to spend one other night not together. This is all I want.

I am having a little hissy fit inside again. I just want to be with you. You are the only one I will ever, ever want for all times.

Dear Al,

Have no idea what day it is? Have no idea what you are going through. Anyway, it has been the most grueling, distraught period of my life but I think we are making some headway.

I know everything has a reason, and the reasons sometimes don’t make sense and we are left to wonder why. I hope this is a good lesson for me to just have faith in the powers above.

Because as I am analyzing this, I do see there is reason that we are being put under such duress. If I wasn’t so distraught I would never have been able to get a message out that so many are blind to see. No one can appreciate a bleeding, liberal heart. We are looked upon as losers not just people who want to make the world a better place. And who can blame anyone, when all you are is faced with adversity.

Well I think God has given us a plan. A sensible one. Something that can fit into all this crazy mess.

Tee is throwing up right now. We are both so upset not to have you here.

I have to let go of my ego. Wait till you read the email I sent my sisters… I was livid that no one seemed to be helping me.

Anyway Tom came through. I knew I loved this guy for a reason. He also pointed out some very good reasons why people are so ignorant to all the injustices of this world. And now that I have told everyone what is on our minds (well of course not everything) I start to see a plan that may just save us all in the end.

I do know there are always surprises in the end so I will not know until it is written in stone.

Adversity. No one can comprehend this unless they have lived through it. Having had so much adversity in the past five days has given me a greater appreciation towards it. Adversities can also make us much stronger and I can’t help but realize this now. Unless you are faced with your worst nightmare it is very difficult to fight.

See how it’s all making sense in the long run. This is why I keep getting messages about duality and why it is so important for us human beings to realize what this message is intended to relay.

If you have nothing to fight for….

Have run out of cigarettes and Tee needs a walk. Tee survived not having either one of us here for a couple of hours. He is a real trooper. We are not happy… but we are mad… good time to take on the world.

I have never felt so drained in all my life. Tee too. We both are having difficulty with not having you here. We will survive this situation and I think it is making us stronger. Tomorrow I will have to leave him by himself while I try and bail you out again.

November 30, 2007

Thanks Tom for the support. Happy birthday to me.

Took a taxi all the way out to Brampton and back only to find out now Al's court date is tomorrow. This makes no sense to me because I know for certain that it was suppose to be Monday. Nancy called to tell me because originally Al's mom had told me it was Saturday and Nancy listened to Al's message and he said to be there Monday with the papers for the house. Unless it is because I wasn't there yesterday? When I asked no one knew the answer.

Anyway I did find out what he was charged for and it does sound like it was the movies, something about fraudulent merchandise. They couldn't tell me exactly. So now I am once again in the same predicament and have to make my way out to Brampton for 9:30 tomorrow morning and wait until they get to him. They have no idea how long it will take. Very helpful these courts. I will check to see if I can get there by bus but doesn't look to good and they do not mention this on the website. Only how to get there by car.

Anyway this has been the worst ordeal of my entire life. 5 days Al is locked up for selling some movies. Doesn't seem very just to me.

Lesa

Hi Lesa,

I’m sorry that you had to go through what you have, and that I didn’t get back to you yesterday, but I had a lot of things going on here at the office and at home. You have to know that we all want to help but we do have other commitments or things going on in our lives that you might know about and can’t always drop everything.

In any case we all felt that before we left work or got one of our husbands to run around trying to bail Al out that we needed some information so that we weren’t running around for nothing.

From the information that we have been able to determine Al will only go before a judge on Wednesday then the judge sets a bail amount and how that bail needs to be paid, it seems it is different in different circumstances, and you usually can’t bail a person out on the same day, sometimes you have to go back the next day or later.

These were some of the things we needed to know before we could help, not because we didn’t want to.

Janet

To Everybody

Anybody want to buy a house? Great income property. Carries itself and even comes with property management.

Lesa

Hi Janet,

I realize this now but I have been so distraught it is hard to think straight.

Lesa

Hi Lesa,

I realize that, and that was what I was trying to say to you yesterday but it is so damn hard to do over e-mail. I wish I could have talked to you. I think you would be wasting your time and money again tomorrow if you go down to the courthouse. You need to find out for sure when you can bail Al out and then we can take it from there.

Janet

I have no idea how I can do this without a phone?

Lesa

omigod....don't believe it. Now I did ask you to be sure it was today etc......right? But I don't get it....I thought you were bailing him out? Doesn't that usually mean he can get out.......and then attend court when he's supposed to? That's kind of the whole idea behind bail.

Tom

Have been just checking these things out and there is no rhyme or reason.

Lesa

so now what.....any chance your sisters can come to bat for tomorrow?

Tom

Working on it. They are being helpful.

Lesa

Lesa.....

I say just wait. You don't need to be there for the court appearance...right? There's not a whole lot you can do. He's either going to be charged....or freed I would imagine.

He can then make his own way back.....or get to an e-mail...or something.

I can just see it happening that you go again tomorrow and something similar to today happens. Why don't you call Dani? Just to check things out. She might be able to help. But I warn you.....don't make comments like "it’s only movies" or things like that. Just ask if there is anything she could recommend to help.

What do you think?

For now it's ridiculous staying at a place with no phone. Pack the dog with you and go to your sisters, with your laptop.....

Tom

Yes you have some very good points there. Doubt he will be just be freed. I have seen too much to give them that much. O.J. Simpson gets away with murder and meanwhile trying to keep yourself afloat is the worse crime you can commit. Watch out ... and I am not kidding ... cleaning may just do you in.

Try not being white. That is all I see in the court system or poor people. When I went to bail out Denis that is all I saw. It made me very sad. There was one poor guy who they wouldn't even allow back in a mental institution (a very old man who did nothing wrong from what I could gather ... but some young bitch was just determined to be a good prosecutor and would not let it go). I was so angry ... I felt like taking a gun and blowing her head off. Anyway one day in court was an eye opener to me.

Also I went with Al when he went to see his probation officer and all I saw were poor immigrant women.

Someone has got to help these people. That is really what we are trying to do. Help the people that get blasted from the system. This is probably why Al and I are soul mates.

Love ya

Lesa

Hi Lesa,

If you can get to the Port Credit Go station Alan will pick you up and bring you to the courthouse. He will have to leave you there because we have people coming to work on the house, he can come back and get you later if you call him but he doesn’t know for sure at what time.

Let me know.

Janet

So what's happening.......now

Listen, if you want I can come back out there....and stay the evening. I can bring my phone if you want to call anyone.....

You didn't tell me that you bailed out Denis also. So what happened then? So criminal activity runs in the family Lesa. This is not good. And if Al was already on parole....and he's now had this run in....I can't imagine they will free him.

Remember my suggestion.....do not head back to the court without ALL info....

Al is a big boy...and put himself where he is....one way or another he is going to make his way back.

Tom

To my family

Nov 30, 2007

BELIEVE ... IF WE DO NOT DO SOMETHING NOW????

Anyway I hope this email gets to you in more ways then one. You can choose to ignore or you can choose to fight for what is right.

Back home ... Al still not here and this is just one example of a world gone array... and now I have no other alternative then to try and convince you of what is hard to believe. I know this is my duty. We don't want to hurt anyone in anyway but I see there is no other option.

This is not just a matter of Al and I and T. This is what is happening in the world. Download some suggested videos from Google then you will understand some of what is going on. If you would prefer to bury your head then we are in a real dilemma. It's up to you. The world you will leave your children will not be one that you would want them to live in. I don't want to scare people but I have got the messages loud and clear that we are headed for disaster if we don't try and help. We need to enlighten the Global consciousness and there are ways to do this without causing so much catastrophe and chaos. We have lots of ideas.

This information will get to you one way or another. Type in conspiracy for a start. There are many, many people who are aware of what is going on and are trying to waken people up. This is not easy ... many of these people have lost their lives trying to tell the truth. The only way we can save ourselves is by banning together and if instead we prefer to ignore the truth a lot of suffering will happen. Too much has happened already. I have had enough of trying to be nice and trying to not sound crazy ... so please do not kill the messenger ... but the truth is the truth. So if you find it hard to believe before you make any decisions, see me and I will show you the truth.

Al and I have witnessed too many injustices. We have had many, many messages that we can prove to you that there is a higher power, God or whatever you would like to call spirituality. We are asked to be awakened and it is up to everyone to build a better world and help their brothers and sisters.

Being complicit is a crime, makes you feel guilty and I know you are all very good people so you are the first ones that I am preaching to (and I know no one likes to be preached to ... but someone has to do it).

I am going over to see a lawyer who I have known for awhile and I know just wants to help some injustices. I would like to start some class action suit. Anyway these are details. Right now it is important to have some people on board.

I have no idea how this will go. I know one thing. We need people to come up to bat for us. I know I need Al, the world needs people like Al and I. We are willing to do this. If you will look at the proof you will see why. You can be afraid and not want to help and that is up to you. You have free will.

I am beseeching someone, anyone who can please tell a white lie in order to get him out of there so we can do what we are meant to do and that is the web site.

The system is unjust and we can all live in fear of opening our eyes or we can ban together and do something to help. It's up to you. That’s all I know. Al and I can not do this on our own.

We need help with the website. We need some solutions. You can just ignore and suffer the consequences or you can come over here and we can discuss what we need to do. Al and I can't do this on our own.

I am praying that you will do what is right

Nov 30, 2007

I am here, we are here, everything will work out, we have to have faith and we will work something out. Nancy got in touch with us and said that Al’s family was working on something.