Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

Drowning

Emotionally, I have to say I've done better these last few days. 4 kids keep you quite busy, and I talk on the phone alot. But there is no doubt that I feel like I'm going deeper and deeper into this pit of divorce. One day I feel strong and determined. I will show him he did not destroy me. The next I feel like, "Yeah, Nat, that's a nice thought, but how the hell are you gonna do it?"

I checked the joint checking account last night to find that he had overdrawn it and we are now in the hole. He doesn't check or ask, he just takes some money out or makes a debit. We were living pretty much paycheck to paycheck before, now there is extra money going out with him living a separate life. The cell phones will probably end up cut off because of the bill he ran up texting the OW. It was due a few days ago and I can't pay it. I don't really care, I don't use mine that much and it would be funny for him, but still. He doesn't get paid again until NEXT Friday. I'm going to have to get extra money coming in soon, but I'm not sure how I'm going to do that.

My stepdad is going to set up another account at another bank for me to put money in. Although, I'm going to need money to put IN it. I have 4 kids. If I were to get a full-time job, the youngest will need full-time daycare. My 4 year old will need it 2 days a week. Then there is after school, too. Every time I think about it I get so overwhelmed and just do not know how I'm going to make this work. I don't even have a resume and haven't had much time to devote to a serious plan. It's not the best time to be in this position and I haven't worked in over 10 years. The ideal would be if I could work from home, but finding something that pays enough will probably be difficult.

I know what I need to do. I know I have to pull myself up by the boot straps here. Can anyone offer some good suggestions on where to start sorting out this nightmare?

Gee, I know its a hard time. How about working for or in the school, that way you keep the schedule they do, sorta. My sister in law drove a school bus for years and they paid for her training. There are many state programs that offer help with childcare, get on the phone. They also offer emergency assistance with cash and food. Hey the kids come before pride. And getting rid of him and being independent is important. Look at what your skills are and get help through church, friends and family. If you ask youll be surprised what will happen.

Juliet, no. Things have remained the same financially as they were before he walked out. When I spoke to my lawyer on Monday, he hadn't even yet received the divorce petition from stbx's lawyer. We do not have a temporary custody agreement yet, either. His checks are direct deposited into our joint account and I pay for everything from that. But now he is spending money we normally wouldn't because he is living separately (with the OW, though he doesn't pay rent or utilities). That money going out is strapping us big time.

To start with STOP looking at the &quot;BIG PICTURE&quot; because you're just going to get overwhelmed and be unable to start.

Pick ONE thing to look at first. The bank account is a good idea. Do you have access to the cel phone account? Is it in your name or his? If it's in yours, you need to call said cel phone company and get the abiltiy to text turned OFF. &quot;Sorry sparky, it's not in the budget&quot;.

Then, scouer the internet and find a GREAT resume style to copy. Put your own information in, make it pretty and YOURS. You don't have to start handing it out.

Accomplishing ONE of the things you need to do will start you on a positive road because if you can do one thing.... then eventually, you can do two things....and then the list just gets smaller and smaller.

It is a really overwhelming feeling. Going through this sh*t is difficult enough but when you live paycheck to paycheck and they start spending money on their whore or f*cktard, it makes it even more difficult to handle. Being worried about money on top of all the other stuff just makes it that much worse. I am currently worrying about how bills are going to get paid and how I am going to get the kids into activities. The X is already behind on child support and the first of the month is rolling around again. She may be moving in with the a**wipe, but I still doubt I will see that money unless the circuit court hurries up and gets going with my request.

Hang in there and I hope that things start to turn around. Can your parents help out at all? I know that takes some pride swallowing but it is better than not being able to buy stuff your kids need.

Shame on your H for not only being a complete douche, but for making the money situation difficult too.

You have some good advice here - I hope you follow it. You need a support order as soon as possible - the &quot;one pot&quot; arrangement isn't working because he is a glutton. Getting an account in your name that you control is a really wise idea.

I am so sorry for all you are facing....its so tough when we experience every emotion at once....yet, have to remain in control for our children....I have put complete faith in the belief that we are not given more than we can handle....so, you need to take it as a huge compliment, the amount of strength that you must have....you will somehow firnd a way....do you have a friend with children in the same school who could possibly do afterschool care?...have you looked into child care subsidy programs?...be sure to find out what daycare will be costing and submit that along with child support papers so you will be getting enough to make it work....change is hard and its scary but so often when we are forced into these changes we can look back later and be so grateful....you have been given great advice....focus on one challenge at a time so you don't get too overwhelmed...you will get through this and he won't destro you.....hang in there ((HUGS))

A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...

I have my maxed amount of epidural shots of my cervical DDD....(and no one cares about my lumbar DDD)..... I've done physical therapy, muscle relaxers, Amitriptyline, Nortryptiline, desipramine.....narcotics... So I decided to go to a spine specialist and they have me on Gabapentin. Its been two weeks and it did nothing for my lumbar ever... but it did seem to help my cervical and arm/hand pain...

All content posted on this site is the responsibility of the party posting such content.
Participation on this site by a party does not imply endorsement of any other party's content,
products, or services. Content should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.