I trying to dedicate more time to the importante people for me.I take good care of my health.I decided to focus more on my studies and use my time better.I try to be more responsible.I try to enjoy every momment of my life and see how life can be beatiful.I started to improve my english (srry for the bad english xd) and having more contact with people who speak other languages and thus, making new friends! I really want to get better and better...

well actually, this is a bit less of what i've done to better myself, and more of a realization of what it is i'm doing that should be fixed sooner or later.

so because i like to play online games a bunch (play pokemon mmos, not the shitty ones, and osu), i started to notice that my grades aren't really looking up for the best right now. and at home, i'm starting to lack on my chores, which is supposed to help me "build up responsibility".
i always disregarded what my mom said about "you're going to have to take care of yourself when you grow up" and thought that if i could get good enough at competitive esport games that i could join a team, i'd do it, but i realize that there has to be some sort of a stepping stone for me to achieve that goal. and now that i'm not really focused on trying to play games like league of legends or rocket league, i'm a bit more skeptical to how my future is going to paint itself out. because i'm only 14 years old, i still don't have a good grasp on how my life is going to be in 4 years, or when i graduate. more like "if", at this point.
so i might start playing less games (10 hours or more per day as of right now), and focus more on my education rather than how i'm going to figure out how i would do 6k muscle memories on osu!mania. i might also take myself more seriously, because at this point in my life, i'm only eating lunch most of the days of the week, and i rarely drink water/liquids, and i wake up somewhat earlier than the rest of my family. thinking about how i'm going to do this, i might have to lose some of my online "friends" (quotations because i'm not sure anymore), but i practically died on discord. i didn't want to, but real life called, and i'm contemplating what would have happened if i still could use discord. as i type this, i wonder what could have been if i didn't die on discord, if i, i don't know, didn't leave. now, i didn't leave, technically, but i feel like there's a part of me that's missing, and the part that has an open gap in it is sucking out all the interest that i ever had in any subject that i liked doing, like drawing, or learning hiragana and katakana. and now, i feel like i don't even know myself anymore. i'm practically losing myself when i wake up everyday, waiting for the inevitable end of my online life. someday, and i don't know when, i'm going to lose interest in everything that i found fun, that i found, interesting. and after a few years, i'll be signing papers in some rundown office building, with each phase of my life slowly passing by, mocking me for "what could have been."
now this post sounds more like a sad life story than what i've done to better myself.

Well what have i done to better myself is just now im playing guitar more often so i can use my skill to find money with teaching guitars.I did quit playing guitar like 6 months i believe and starting to re-learn again , playing classical and also reading notes . Although im not teaching yet , learning guitar is distracting my depression over my life. To be honest, i feel empty and dont know what to with my future , i just see what is in the front of me atm . I'm not like " im going to chase my dream and passion bullsh*t " . Playing guitar might be the only one ( beside osu ) that can make me feel content and not thinking about negative things . I also Sing sometime , even though this voice can make the whole windows cracks lol xD.And i plan to go on vacation at the start of 2018 , i might need one haha.