CRABBY CANCER...

The Irksome Journeys of May 2003

Salutations, my tragic little crustaceans! Last month, while there was a dramatic upturn with finances, there were problems with co-workers and close associates. This month, finance will continue to improve and you will solve the co-worker problems. However, the likelihood that these developments will make your wretched lives any better is still as remote as ever.

A New Moon comes in odious Taurus and your solar eleventh house, squaring mystic Neptune, while Mercury is still retrograde. You organize a meeting with your associates and then have the busload of them abducted and taken away to a hot country somewhere, thus you make a tidy profit and they have to harvest chili while being thrashed by a bad-tempered foreign woman. I seem to remember mighty Mars, Venus the goddess, underworld Pluto and your solar eighth house having something to do with this, but I can't be bothered checking. If this doesn't work out, send a complaint. I'm sure someone here will take an interest even though I myself couldn't care less. However, come the Full Moon in gloomy Scorpio that brings a lunar eclipse to your solar fifth house, you suddenly realize you have no one to make your roly-poly sandwiches or bring your special rubber ducky whilst playing in the bath.

As the great Sol Invicti moves into odious Gemini and your solar twelfth house and clashes with revolutionary Uranus, you sink into a tragic world of fantasy and self-delusion. Mercury and Venus the goddess conjoin and clash with mystic Neptune and you hire a series of acrobatic sexual consorts to entertain you and each other, but that does no good. Somehow, it all seems so empty.

Then the New Moon comes in Gemini, bringing an eclipse to your solar twelfth. You lose faith in everything, have a bath with no rubber ducky and no roly-poly sandwiches for after and go to bed in a very bad mood because there's no one there who really loves you. Oh dear! Will you ever wake up again, little nitwits of the nipper? And, if you don't, will anyone care? Click here next month and see.