Because I am the most tedious person in the history of dad's-girlfriends, the other day I found myself yelling at a 12-year-old girl, "'UGLY' IS A CONSTRUCT." (Past good-time hits have included, "ALL BODIES ARE GOOD BODIES," "NEUTRALITY HELPS THE OPPRESSOR," "NO, THE PRETTY LITTLE LIARS MAIN CAST ISN'TALL MOSTLY…

You know those horrible fucking Skechers foot-loafs that, according to the commercials, will transform your lumpy regular-person buns into the magnificent celebrity-buns of Hollywood's fourth-most-famous Brooke? Yeah, those things. Well, now they're not just painfully, obviously stupid, they're also legally stupid.

So Anthony Weiner sent women pictures of his penis, both clothed and unclothed, and may have told a teenage girl he was like a superhero. Obviously, the question we should all be asking is: how did Huma fuck up this badly?

A recent conversation: Maggie: Do you think people are either attractive or unattractive? Kate: My mother was on the phone last night, saying, "You have to stop putting yourself down. You sound ridiculous."

"There is such a thing as being unfuckable and female," writes Jessa Crispin. It's a shocking statement, but it also brings up an issue we don't often discuss: what it's like to be not sexually desired, but sexually devalued.

I remember my grandfather musing that, thanks to dentistry, medicine and relative affluence, people simply weren't "ugly" the way they had been when he was a child in early 20th century Arkansas. (It should be noted that he was known in said hamlet as "Moe Joe the Dog-Faced Boy," a name he carried for the next 80…