Happy Labor Day weekend! Your unpaid student-athlete workforce is already on the job. So it's time for the 2012 Deadspin College Football Top 25 Or So. As always, teams are ranked according to the values and priorities of college football, as best we understand them, no matter how contradictory those values and priorities may be. (And despite the fact that the whole system has only two years left before it gets thrown in a dumpster in favor of the Playoff Era.)

The reigning outlaw champs, now returned to lawful competition, are No. 2.

3. [vacant]

Everyone but Alabama and USC starts the season a fraud or pretender till proven otherwise.

4. South Carolina (1-0)

Stayed out of the national title picture last year, beat some folks, seemed to have fun.

5. Oklahoma State

Imagine how far they might go if they can beat Iowa State this year.

6. Oregon

7. (tie) Michigan
7. (tie) Michigan State

Unless one of them turns out to stink, they break the tie Oct. 20.

9. (tie) Boise State
9. (tie) TCU *
9. (tie) Houston

Hurry, fellas! Only two more years to get screwed by the BCS before you can get screwed by the playoff system. [*Correction: TCU already got out of the sucker game, joining the Big 12 this year. We knew that last year.]

12. Stanford
12. (tie) Georgia
12. (tie) Arkansas

Three different ways to have a B+ program. Arkansas's way is the most entertaining.