Okay, can someone explain to me why these guys are considered "good"? It's just a bunch of noise. They spent 22 years writing and recording something that sounds like a broken microwave? If there is some musical brilliance here I am missing, please let me know.

No one can really tell you what you're missing. There's no right answer. If you don't like it, you don't like it. But do you agree that an ultimately beautiful something which takes longer or more effort to get to is, as a result, even more beautiful? Curious ears have a natural tendency to listen through, beyond, and toward, particularly when there seems to be something flickering just out of reach. And finally arriving (or hearing, whatever it is) there is like returning to a simpler time—perhaps as a baby when your mom softly cooed in your ear. My Bloody Valentine songs, at their best, are simple (as in distilled to their essence) pop numbers that have been deliberately tucked inside droning, noisy, and, possibly, confusing cocoons. It's because there is that deliberate division between the ear and easy, carefree beauty that the band's best tracks achieve transcendence.