Tuesday, February 28, 2006

A load of tosh!

OK, so here's the follow up post to yesterdays, explaining why I really believe everything there is a load of tosh!

Judaism was the original religion to understand the concept of one God watching over his people on Earth. That simple over-riding belief is the one truth running through nearly every religion practised in the world today, and is so wide-spread that it is only logical to believe the idea has been given to us by God himself.I mentioned in the comments that the whole concept of monotheism seems pretty stupid to me. If there were one, all powerful, all knowing, eternal god, you'd think he'd have made a better job of the Earth & humanity than we see around us! Natural disasters, disease, distribution of resources, and the deliberate isolation of groups causing nations/nationalism & wars come to mind, and don't even get me started on why there are soooo many montotheistic religions/sects, all believing fundementally different things.

And us - I mean, what ridiculous designs was he working from - or was he just sadistic in making us in his own image - air/food intake in the same place, blocked by a voice box, causing choking & death. Waste disposal & procreation organs in the same place, pleading for various infections/problems. Carotid arteries an easy swipe for any claw, and a simple mouthful for those toothed animals, a spine that is unable to support us throughout our life, organs that wear out, teeth that wear down and a genetic imperitive to ignore all of His laws (no sex till marriage, but men think about sex every 3 seconds?! Don't eat pigs, but they are the most versitile animal foodstuff on the planet! etc) . And if it was sadism, I assume it was masochism too, since he must have made himself. Now WHY would anyone design themselves this way?

finally it is NOT the one truth running through every religion today - there are only four recognised monotheistic religions: Christianity, Judaism, Islam, and Sikhism, which meansthat out of the top ten religions in the world (defined by number of adherants), seven are polytheistic!

Judaism follows the word of God as written in the Torah This is the real bible - "the old testement" as I have heard it described, was written for God's chosen people, and all those who do not follow it's teachings are casting themselves out of his salvation. Most other faiths are perversions of Judaism, where people have found the teachings difficult to follow and have re-written them for their own ease.This basically boils down to the fact that I don't believe, and can't really see how any rational person can believe that the torah/old testament is the direct word of God. Again, you'd think he'd have made it a bit more obvious. and maybe a couple of copies? Some present day smiting might do the job:-) Not natural disasters - they are indiscriminate, but something a bit more obvious. Assuming he actually wants us to follow his word/guidelines/whatever, you think he'd have made them easier to understand. And maybe discouraged us from warring over interpretations? Yet most religious wars have someone claiming God "told them to".

And he's a bit of a bastard to his chosen people isn't he. What's with the diaspora? The persecutions through the ages. The nasty genetic diseases he's given us?

Again, only three religions have been born from Judaism, and they have come from the addition of new information, rather than the dislike of the old (although Jesus freed christians from following some of the old).

For Jews, God really is our father - in his wisdom, love, anger and dissapointment, we can understand our role and our purpose in life. He is there for each one of us, guiding me through my life, but giving me the opportunity to stand on my own two feet and find my independance. I can talk to God at any time, and I know he will listen, and help me do the right thing. I do not need inanimate objects, other people or a special place to assist with this dialogue, I know he is there watching me all the time.This i find rarely works in practise. Although they may have a dialogue with God at any time, Jews will seek advice from their Rabbi - who can be as good or as bad as any community leader! They are still expected to turn up at synagogue every Saturday and holy day, to follow the kosher rules, wear specific clothes (not defined in the Torah) and various additional laws (although they can be "let off" for good reasons if a Rabbi says it's ok).

This is just the version of "religion as an excuse" as you see so prominently in other faiths. I can do this, cos i spoke to God & he agreed with me. In my head. And you can't prove any different cos it was in my head!

As a Jew, I am not "at war" with science. I can accept the world in all it's glory and with all it's flaws. I try to live my life as best as possible, because I know that is what I should do. I know that punishment is there as an option if God wishes to use it, but I follow the laws because I do not want to disappoint him, not because I fear retribution or dream of fantastical rewards to come. We have free will to decide what and how God expects us to follow his teachings in the Torah, and as an individual I am able to make that decision for myself. I can be a good Jew, and a good scientist/nationalist/politician (mostly)/teacher or anything else.Liberal Jews do have a good record of integrating with other societies and cultures due to necessity, and most will accept the modern world without qualm. That is not a reason to believe in a religious doctrine! Jews accept that this life is the most important one, (the afterlife being a bit confused and vague to most jews) and that the judgement of their peers is important. that is defining a good society IMO, and has nothing to do with spiritual beliefs. Of course orthodox Jews have a fantastic tradition of ghetto's, even when welcomed into a society with open arms.

I follow the rules because I know that will make society & therefore the lives of myself & my loved ones better. Although I know there are punishments laid down if I get caught breaking them, that is not why I don't break them. Although I know I may possibly have a better life if I follow all the rules absolutely, I do not do so on the promise of that life. However, I do not believe in ANY kind of higher being, spirit, soul, afterlife or judgement. One does not equate to the other.

My Jewishness is more than my belief, more than my culture, more than my nationality, more than my philosphy. It is all these things together. It is my life. everything I do is part of being a Jew. When i eat my dinner, I am being a good Jew. when I wash my car, i am being a good Jew. when I go to the shops, I am being a good jew. It supercedes every other identity I have, and combines with them, to make me into a better person.Utter, utter tosh. In what way do i have the same "culture" as an African Jew? My culture, nationality and beliefs are defined by my education, upbringing and personal experiences. your religion does not, and should not supercede other identities ever - it leads to the whole situation we are in with radical muslims claiming they must support their "brothers" 1000's of miles away by blowing up thier "brothers" next door!

If I & my clone were born at the same time, & lived exactly the same lives, but clone believed and I didn't, in what way would that make the clone a better person?

When I eat my dinner I am being a good person, when i wash my car i am being a good person, when I go to the shops I am being a good person. Belief in God has nothing to do with it.

Jews have survived more turmoil and persecution than any other race or religion, and we have come through it stronger and more sure of our faith. We have dispersed accross the whole world, both voluntarily and by force, and we have come through it with our faith stronger and more cohesive. Millions have died, knowing that if they recanted their faith - or even just broke a few rules, they could save themselves. Jews from multitudes of different backgrounds, speaking different languages, knowing different cultures, have come together in Israel and made a home country, a nation, out of nothing. Anything that strong, must be the truth.One of the known things about religion is that it is defined by hardship. Cultures with no/few enemies, a plentiful food supply and temperate weather have very few Gods. Humans like to blame things on someone, and when there is no obvious reason for something bad happening, God is invented. We have an innate sense of fairness (it's a good survival technique - you help me & I'll help you), and the world is inherently unfair. We are also stubborn & the more we are told to stop something, there more we want to do it. Again, no reason for a rational, modern person to believe in a set of religious doctrines written by men, 1000's of miles away, 1000's of years ago.

My Jewishness is integral to my life. It is integral to my children's lives. It is not there to make life easier, or to offer me solace, or to provide sustenance - it is just there. all the time, and forever. I can no less stop being a Jew than i can stop being a human being. they are one and the same. Those who deny their Jewishness are denying their very existance.My jewishness is irrelvent to my life. It is irrelevent to my childrens lives. It does not make my life any different to if I were a different theist, an atheist, or an agnostic. I neither think about it or follow any of it's rules. I only remember about it occasionally, due to others questions usually. I can no more start to feel Jewish than I can start to feel male. i do not deny my jewishness, it is an irrelevance.

My atheism is also an irrelevence most of the time - it is not a belief system. It does not feel that "gap" that theists seem to think is paramount to my life. There is no gap! I believe there is no God in the way I believe the Earth is round. Or the sun is a big ball of fire. Or that the moon landings did happen. I personally have not got any proof of any of those, but I accept the evidence & make my own judgement. I don't teach it to my children, and I don't try to convert or pervert theists beliefs. I trust them to make their own judgements, and it doesn't matter to me if they agree with me or not. As long as their general social and cultural outlook is broadly compatable with mine, we can live together quite happily

Monday, February 27, 2006

Challenging thoughts

Jewish atheist has challenged any pilosophical bloggers out there to an "opposites day" - to wirte a post explaining the opposite view from what we believe and usually post/comment about. Although I don't write much about my religious beliefs (well, lack of them) here, I do like to hang around those that do in an attempt to understand people a little bit better, so I'm throwing my glove to the floor....

Why I am a Liberal Jew:

Judaism was the original religion to understand the concept of one God watching over his people on Earth. That simple over-riding belief is the one truth running through nearly every religion practised in the world today, and is so wide-spread that it is only logical to believe the idea has been given to us by God himself.

Judaism follows the word of God as written in the Torah This is the real bible - "the old testement" as I have heard it described, was written for God's chosen people, and all those who do not follow it's teachings are casting themselves out of his salvation. Most other faiths are perversions of Judaism, where people have found the teachings difficult to follow and have re-written them for their own ease.

For Jews, God really is our father - in his wisdom, love, anger and dissapointment, we can understand our role and our purpose in life. He is there for each one of us, guiding me through my life, but giving me the opportunity to stand on my own two feet and find my independance. I can talk to God at any time, and I know he will listen, and help me do the right thing. I do not need inanimate objects, other people or a special place to assist with this dialogue, I know he is there watching me all the time.

As a Jew, I am not "at war" with science. I can accept the world in all it's glory and with all it's flaws. I try to live my life as best as possible, because I know that is what I should do. I know that punishment is there as an option if God wishes to use it, but I follow the laws because I do not want to disappoint him, not because I fear retribution or dream of fantastical rewards to come. We have free will to decide what and how God expects us to follow his teachings in the Torah, and as an individual I am able to make that decision for myself. I can be a good Jew, and a good scientist/nationalist/politician (mostly)/teacher or anything else.

My Jewishness is more than my belief, more than my culture, more than my nationality, more than my philosphy. It is all these things together. It is my life. everything I do is part of being a Jew. When i eat my dinner, I am being a good Jew. when I wash my car, i am being a good Jew. when I go to the shops, I am being a good jew. It supercedes every other identity I have, and combines with them, to make me into a better person.

Jews have survived more turmoil and persecution than any other race or religion, and we have come through it stronger and more sure of our faith. We have dispersed accross the whole world, both voluntarily and by force, and we have come through it with our faith stronger and more cohesive. Millions have died, knowing that if they recanted their faith - or even just broke a few rules, they could save themselves. Jews from multitudes of different backgrounds, speaking different languages, knowing different cultures, have come together in Israel and made a home country, a nation, out of nothing. Anything that strong, must be the truth.

My Jewishness is integral to my life. It is integral to my children's lives. It is not there to make life easier, or to offer me solace, or to provide sustenance - it is just there. all the time, and forever. I can no less stop being a Jew than i can stop being a human being. they are one and the same. Those who deny their Jewishness are denying their very existance.

Comments welcome:-)BTW this was supposed to explain why I believe as i do, not to argue against atheism. It's a pointless argument: atheism is not a single belief system. Nor is Theism. All we can do is explain what we believe and hope others understand why and how to reach the right place in their hearts and minds.

Stop the world

There are some days when it just seems an awful lot of effort to scrape by - I managed most of the day doing normal things, but i really can't face being clever, witty, or even moany this evening, so I'm going to send you all off to watch "protect and Survive", the 1975 public information film shown on the BBC to teach us all how to behave when the nuclear war started.

I say when, because I remember the 70's well enough to know that we were living under the certainty that it could/would happen any moment. When I think of the terrible things GWB has done and is doing, I can usually mollify myself with the thought that at least he probably hasn't got his finger hovering a few millimetres away from that big red button.

I also remember the ridicule this film recieved when it was shown - although we still had bomb drills at school (hiding under the tables in a wooden school seemed pretty stupid even to the 5/6 year old me!) I love the idea that closing the windows & curtains will save you from fall out, and two days under a couple of doors should bring the post nuclear-war world back to normal.

Of course, I lived in East London - we knew that when we heard those sirens we were two minutes away from total annilation, but nobody in power was willing to say that.

But even now, when I hear those sirens, my heart goes cold. It's not that far away yet.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Good for them

I'm not usually one for marches and demonstrations - I've been on a few in my youth, but mostly for causes I am absolutely adamant about, and in the summer;-), but if I hadn't been working yesterday, and could've got a sitter (sigh, life's soo complicated now), I would have seriously considered going along to this one!

Usually 600 people on a march would not say much, but this is the first time there has been any co-ordinated response to the ALF - who, IMO are one of the most revolting, evil terrorist groups to arise over the past few years. Not because they are against animal testing - that's their right to believe what they want - but because they believe that killing people is right. Not because they don't want the new lab built, but because they have used fear & bullying to halt it's construction. What kind of group threatens to kill builders for doing their job? Or states that everyone who attends the oldest higher educational institution in the country is a legitimate target? Or threatens a child-care nursery because some of the children's parents work for one company? Or firebombs a house when a 9 year old child is there? Or steals the body of a grandmother from her grave just because some of her family are associated with animal testing?

How does saving animal lives equate to taking human ones?

FWIW, I am totally in favour of animal testing - if a million rabbits have to die to cure a human disease that's fine by me! How many people will be saved? How much good will those people do? Obviously where alternatives are just as useful, we should use those, but many things will ultimately need testing on living creatures - and I'd prefer 1000 dead rats to 1000 dead people! And yes, I would personally happily infect several million pigs with Psorisis (if we could), and test them until they died if it would cure Aggie - and that's not even life threatening!

It's good to see people finally standing up to be counted in favour of something. We do tend to only voice our opinions when we want to change things, rather than when we think hat we have got is good - so lets start celebrating success and not be frightened of saying what you believe, just because others don't agree!

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Mumble, stumble, snore

Sorry part 2 of Friday never got written. By the time I'd finished my lesson plans (there's nothing like being prepared well in advance;-)), Mstr A had re-appeared downstairs five times complaining of feeling sick, thirsty, sweaty, scared or just wanting a cuddle. I decided that getting him settled was more important!

unfortunately it didn't work, and he was up every hour or so until I gave up trying to sleep at midnight and went up to the spare room and let him sleep with me. Naturally this meant that I didn't get any decent kip at all, and woke up this morning absolutely knackered.

But work is work is work, and when you're self-employed sick-notes don't apply, so i dragged myself off to the course, laden with paperwork and leaflets. The course was the equivelent of a leaders award, which is a basic introduction to coaching, judging and volunteering in sport. It's a 6 hour course, with plenty of practical sessions. The group I was teaching were lovely, but they were mostly 13/14 years old, had minimal previous experience or knowledge and tended to drift off-syllabus very easily, so it was quite taxing. Also as I've only taught this course once before, and the tutor training consisted of, well, bugger all really, it was hard mental work because I had to keep refering back to my lesson plan to ensure I hadn't missed anything off the syllabus.

it went really well, but by the end of the day i was seriously flagging. Aggie had been having a bit of a nightmare with the kids, so I kind of got jumped on when I made it home. Still, I have to say for Aggie - once he'd got his gameboy fix (he bought a DS too, so he can play against Mstr A, who bought one with his savings last week), he tidied up, shopped and cooked, leaving me to relax a bit.

We've just got them all into bed, and I'm ready to follow suit in a few minutes. Thinking back, I've been much more tired (I remember crying & begging Mstr A to take a nap because I was too tired to stand up any longer for example), but this is still pretty tired - I'm at the slurring words and stumbling into things stage, and that's never a good sign:-)

Friday, February 24, 2006

Thanks sis!

I had a lovely long chat to sister S on the phone.

I moaned about being a SAHM, and that it sooo wasn't what I'd ever imagined myself doing.

She enthused over getting a first in her Occupational Therapy degree, getting a new job - exactly the one she wanted, at a grade above what she expected, and that her boyfriend has (finally) got a job and she's expecting the first paycheque to arrive any minute.

Then she pointed out that my mother should be pleased. At last, nearly all of her children are pretty sorted out, and settled into proper lives. Except me. I'm the only one who has no idea what I'm doing, where I'm going, or how I'm going to afford to get there.

All my life, I've been the one who knew where I was going (out of London quite alot of the time) and what I wanted out of life. I was the first to get a decent job. I was the first to leave London. I was the first to get a degree. I was the first to buy a house with my partner. I was the first to have kids. I am the first to chuck it all in.

That Friday Feeling

Damn! Where did the day go?

Another Friday, another week over, another day rushing around:-)

LMD woke up nice and early this morning, so I dragged myself out of bed, to discover LMB was already wide awake and happily playing in her bedroom. She greated me with my favourite words of the morning "Poo mummy, change me"

mmmm, what a lovely way to great the day at 6.30am!

Mstr A soon appeared on the scene, and I breakfasted, washed & dressed all three in short order, giving myself 15 minutes before leaving for school to get all my college stuff together. 5 minutes later, Mstr A comes in, very tearful, to tell me he fwwls sick & can't go to school. Knowing my rule, he promptly takes himself off to bed, and I heave a guilty sigh of relief that I don't need to take all the kids out in the snow.

10 mins later he re-appears. "I feel a bit better now, can I play on my gameboy?"

Aha! That's what is is all about. I remind him that if he is too ill to go to school, he is too ill to do anything other than stay in his room and sleep (He hasn't worked out yet that he could read books up there, thankfully). He decides that actually, he could probably manage school after all.

ARGGGGGHHHHH! Run around, getting his school things together, finding coats, shoes, hats and gloves, rebuilding the pram, find spare key for Nanny A who is starting her Friday babysitting duties today, remove toys from LMD's mouth, remove LMB's foot from between banisters, remind Mstr A to get scooter, and shove all the children oput the door and start jogging down the road in 2 minutes flat!

Once at school, Mstr A miraculously starts feeling sick again. Methinks I spot a bout of schoolitus, and give him short shrift over it, suggesting he tries school for a while, and if he still feels sick after service, asks his teacher to phone me. then I explain his symptoms to his teacher and suggest that the lure of the gameboy is probably the strongest symptom displayed.

OK. Bundle the girls back into the pram. mention that we have to go fast, because I have college and Nanny a is coming to look after them, to be inundated by wails of "no go to work mummy. Stay at home with LMB"

Immediately follwed by howls of anger and cold from LMD, who is never one to miss out on a good screaming session.

Fine! get home. Cuddle children till they shut up. hand over to nanny A (ha ha), who has come armed with plenty of sweets, plus has already got the tv tuned to CBeebies, and jump on my bike down to college.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Thursday Thirteen - The Unanswerables

1. Where do all the socks go? I buy them in pairs. I wear them in pairs. I wash them in pairs. Why are there hundreds of individual socks in my laundry basket waiting for their mate to turn up?

2. If we are warm blooded creatures, able to regulate our own body tempreture, why I am I so cold all the time?

3. Why do I spend £1000's on quality, fun and educational toys for the kids, if they think the best plaything in the world is half a torn envelope?

4. How come that however many money saving schemes I adhere to, and however much money we do or don't earn, we always spend more than we get in each month?

5. Why does chocolate taste and feel so much better for me than broccoli?

6. How come that no matter how much stuff you carry in your handba, you can never find the thing you really need, when you really need it?

7. Where do all the pens go? I buy boxes of them, but can never find one when I want one

8. Why do people think that computers will stop people reading? What are you doing right now?

9. Why is it that the more tired you are, the harder it is to sleep?

10. How come the same people who go on ad nuseum about how tough their childhood was and how much easier the kids of today have it, will also be the ones who nostalically remember the good old days and moan that we are depriving our kids of a childhood?

11. Who writes nursery rhymes and why do they choose such revolting subjects?

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

I know plenty of people who consider various illegal substances to be part of their culture & religion, and many, many people have claimed that they can hear God while under the influence.

Does that mean we can all do whatever we like, provided we claim it's part of our religion?

And if one religion can break one federal law under the get out of "freedom of religion", why can't others break other laws? You know - the ones about murder, incitement to hatred, physical abuse or religious tolerance?

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

I always knew it...

SAH Motherhood is just not for me. It's been two weeks now - one of which was half term so I would've been home anyway - and I am soooooo bored!

It's not as though there's nothing to do. There's plenty! And it's mostly the never-ending variety, but it's not interesting. You have to be a very special sort of person to feel fulfilled by playing hide-and-seek with a 2 year old for an hour. Two year olds tend to only hide in one place for starters, and will pop up yelling "I'm here" if you don't keep up a constant monologue about where they could be, where you are looking, if you have found them, and where you're going to check next!

I'm not that sort of person.

I still feels as though I'm cheating.

It doesn't help not having a car. It seemed like a sensible idea when I came up with it. My domestic journeys really are very short, only a few thousend miles a year, and the cost of keeping a car made it seem silly. But now I'm stuck at home every day, I miss it. I can still get to most places - which is why I said I didn't need the car, but now instead of popping out for a quick nip to the leisure centre, I have to organise a full blown expedition! And double buggy's don't fit on buses. And the buses don't go close enough to anywhere to be able to walk from the bus stop with just the single buggy. Who planned the bus routes you may ask? I certainly do!

I expect it will be better in the summer. At the moment I don't really fancy the long walk to anywhere because it's so cold, and the girls get miserable after a while too. Once the weather turns, the whole town feels like a holiday anyway:-)

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Sunday Bouncy Sunday

It's a bouncy bouncy day today, because I've been working all weekend, and wierd as it may seem that makes me happy.

I love my work. I get a kick out of doing something I'm good at, and that helps numerous other people. It's extra good when every candidates compliments me at the end of a course, saying it's the best ourse they've ever attended;-) Actually, this remark is becomming worringly regular. Worringly because it's usually preceeded by something like "on the last course I attended I didn't understand anything/was bored to sleep each day/scared off doing anything, ever". Now , whereas I'm pleased that I can change their minds (and hopefully get some good references/more work), I worry what kind of people are out there teaching first aid, and how many people think it's a horrile subject to be avoided at all costs!

anyway, it was a lovely course. Only a few candidates, all very interested in what I had to say, and clever enough to understand the theory behind the practical sessions. They also had a fantastic attitude (once they got over their original fear), and made the course full of laughter and fun. They were also the ONLY course I have ever taught that insisted on keeping their bandages on throughout the day - causing fits of giggles every time they looked at each other:-)

I'm feeling all fired up about work again now, so am off to tender for my local authority courses!

On a completely different note, I listened to Aled Jones on Radio 2 this morning, doing the obligatory Sunday morning religion show (I think it's actually still part of the BBC's remit to offer religious services on a sunday? Anyone know for sure?) I actually find these shows quite interesting - they bend over so far backwards to be inclusive of all religions, that it tends to be quite funny. Today he finished his show with a quote that I just found utterly, utterly depressing: "For those who believe, there are no questions. For those who don't, there are no answers."

Now, most of you know that I'm not a believer, but on the whole I don't really care if you are or not. BUT OMG! NO QUESTIONS!?! What is life without questions? Are you really supposed to (do you) just passively take everything in life without even wondering why? How will society/humanity/science ever progress without questions? How would religion grow and progress?

If that quote is true, Thank the Lord (sic) that I am a questioning unbeliever!

Saturday, February 18, 2006

No time to blog

Sorry for a blogless day, but busy running a Paeds 1st aid course all weekend.

I'll give you all a proper report tomorrow.

For now, here's some of the clever things my kids have learned to do over the past couple of weeks.....Mstr A can beat Aggie on all his computer games (He He)LMB can recite the whole alphabet and recognise about half the letters, and at least a dozen written words!LMD can walk all round the house saying "step, step, step" with each step she takes:-)Mstr A can swim a width on his front & back with floats (I know I've alread told you that, but I'm particularly proud of it!)LMB can count to 10 in English and SpanishLMD can drink out of a normal cup & eat yoghurt with a spoonMstr A can do tricks on his scooter including jumping on & off without losing momentum, jumping the scooter, and "hand-brake turns"LMB can use a computer competantly, and knows how to turn it on, load her game, use a mouse and the keyboard, and shut it down properly at the end of her session.LMD can sleep through the night:-)

Friday, February 17, 2006

I'm a bad landlord!

Divine Calm is mostly an observational blog, "when appreciation of life overcomes all", and you really o get a feeling of divine calm while reading through her posts. They show you the world in the nicest possible way, complete with lots of pretty pictures - which is something I completely lack here:-)

so take a deep breath, breathe out slowly and click on her thumbnail in my sidebar for that perfect friday feeling.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Thursday Thriteen - My week

1. We spent a long weekend visiting my sister in Lisburn, Northern Ireland

2. She is a trainee Educational Psychologist & gave me loads of info about Autistic Spectrum Disorders to read through

3. It seems pretty certain that Mstr A has some kind of ASD

4. If I can get it officially diagnosed, life will be much easier for him at school. Now I know what I have to tell the EP's & Dr's, hopefully it will be diagnosed sooner rather than later.

5. LMB knocked a tooth out while we were away. I don't think she's even noticed, but I feel terrible every time she smiles.

6. We flew Easyjet, which Mstr A has slightly fixated on. After watching a documentary on them, I'm glad we didn't fly RyanAir.

7. We were delayed both directions and had nowhere to wait with three bored & excited kids.

8. The staff were fantastic on both journeys, and even allowed Mstr A to chat to the pilot in the cockpit.

9. LMD screamed for the whole flight there

10. Aggie managed to pick up a strep infection while we were there

11. He has kindly brought it home & given it to me. Now my throat feels like I've been swallowing razorblades, and I've virtually lost my voice

12. It's half Term here, so I have all three kids running around, and my voice would be really useful!

13. I took all of them swimming yesterday (!!!), and Mstr A swam a whole width on his front, and his back (with floats), jumped in & put half his face under the water. This is an enormous improvement/achievement for him and I'm very proud.

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!(leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

My Utopian World - Property Ownership

Actually this is something I've put a bit of thought into over the years, but it was only while reading a comment on another post that I realised I'd never put it all down coherently, so here it is.

Warning - my red roots show in this post:-)

House ownershipIMO this has to be an all or nothing issue in society, and I prefer the all. So home ownership is encouraged, where applicable.

Council houses are available to rent, and to buy after 1 full years tennancy. Councils MUST put any money gained from selling their houses into building/aquiring new public housing. After 1 year, you can either buy the house as normal with a single lump sum (mortgage or otherwise), or you can apply for your current rent to start going towards paying of the cost of the house at 2% above base rate. While you own less than 50% of the house, you can "sell" it back to the council if you wish to move. Once you own 51%+ you must sell the house on the open market & refund the relevent %age to the council on completion. Houses that are part owned may be passed on to the next generation to continue to buy (not just rent).

Private renting as allowed too, although I would tighten controls on what counts as habitable, the number of people allowed to reside per square metre and some H&S issues.

Local council tax is a flat fee, plus an income derived sum. Transients have to pay the flat fee into a central fund.

Second Home OwnershipObviously people can buy more than one property if they wish & have the means, however, I do not approve of perfectly good houses sitting empty so:

All domiciles must be occupied for at least 6 months of the year. Any house that has not been resided in for 6 months in the previous 18 (giving 6 months leeway) will be compulsoraily purchased by the council for 2/3 market value. an additional 6 months extension can be applied for if the house is either on the market, or the owners can prove they are currently in negotiation regarding new tenants/owners.

Second homes are subject to full council tax. If rented out, the owner has to pay the tax annually regardless of whether the tenants are permenent or not. This will mean that many rented houses pay the tax twice (once by the owners & once by the tenants). Good!

Oviously this is quite a complicated subject, and I've just scratched the surface here. As usual feel free to comment, critisise or clarify , and I'll do my best to answer all concerns.

For Previous Utopian World posts, please click on the link near the top of my sidebar.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Half Term Blues

We're not even half way through half term yet, and the house is a complete tip, the washing is overflowing & I need a full 24 hours sleep! How can one extra child at home during the day make so much difference?

I couldn't face another day like yesterday, so I bundled them all onto a train (well two trains) and spent the day at Nanny A's. the kids played in the patk & made her house messy, she got to do the cooking & cleaning, and she's keeping Mstr A overnight, so I may get a quiet morning tomorrow (there are no such things as lie-ins any more in the Aginoth household).

Monday, February 13, 2006

That'll be a yes then?

So, after three full days at my sister's, I asked her for her professional opinion of Mstr A. Considering that she has just spent the past three months working with & writing a report on a high functioning autistic child, and has just been offered an interview for a job specialising in autistic spectrum disorders (ASD), she is fairly up to date on the signs, symptoms and behaviour associated with ASD/Aspergers.

Like all professionals she would not come right out with a definite diagnosis, but she did point out that 95% of his behaviour was indicitive of an ASD. She also gave us loads of info on management techniques, and I realised that I'd been doing about half of them anyway, without really realising it.

It was hard watching him playing with cousin J over the weekend. I don't often get to see him playing with his peers, and certainly not for any real length of time. J is about as laid back as children come, but even he needed regular breaks away from Mstr A. It also made me realise how much harder it is to get Mstr A to do normal things than other children his age. Just sitting at the table to eat his dinner needs 30 mins advance warnings, given at 5 min intervals! it was very strange actually, as it made me realise how much structure I do put into his life (I always considered myself to be the worst person in the world to have a child with ASD as I don't do organised at all), but also, how much extra time & effort I give him compared to a normal 5 yr old. It felt like I was mollycoddling him, but in fact sister A was telling me I should be doing even more!

Anyway, it has pretty much confirmed my intuitive diagnosis. She's given me loads of ideas of how to work with his strengths & explain the world in a way he can understand. Aggie has finally accepted that an ASD does seem to fit the bill (I don't think he was really convinced before), and now we just have to move the whole diagnosis process on as much as possible.

On the other hand, watching the boys playing together did prove to me that Mstr A is smarter than the average bear, as he was easily understanding/doing things that J was just learning, and J's 18 months older. Both the boys agreed that it had been fun and that they'd like to do it again soon too, which was a bit of a relief. Hopefully sister A & her fiance can bring J over for a visit next time:-)

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Teething troubles

Oh good, LMD is teething again, which means a snotty nose and difficulty sleeping! She spent last night in bed with us, which means I didn't sleep very well at all.

We spent yesterday at The Oddesy, which was great, even for the little ones. LMB hated the IMAX, finding it too loud, but she soon snuggled up on daddy's lap & went to sleep, leaving LMD to dance and chat at me & Mstr A to try to catch the pictures with cousin J - who's been a fair few times before.

Then the majority of the day was spent in W5 (WhoWhatWhereWhenWhy) - a hands on science park. Fantastic fun - we had to bribe them out at the end with a promise of a trip to @Bristol (our local version) and supper at PizzaHut.

We arrived at the PizzaHut within the Odessey at 5pm. It was only about a 1/3 full, but by the time we were acknowledged and seated 10 minutes later, a further 3 or 4 families were waiting behind us. We sat, and we waited, and we waited and we sat. the kids got restless. We sent the boys over to ask for some activity packs to keep them occupied, and as LMB turned round in her chair to watch them go, she leaned on the back of it, tipped it over & went crashing to the floor with the chair on top of her! Loud screams ensued, & blood flowed from her mouth. Aggie tried to comfort her while I stormed over to find the manager. When we got back, I was able to see that she had bit her lip quite badly (hence the blood), and she was still saying her mouth hurt.

The manager was very apologetic - and he did get the accident book without arguing (which is better than the last time we had an injury in a PizzaHut), but the basic problem was that we had been stuck in a corner for over 20 minutes without even some crayons or drinks. I mentioned that myself & Aggie both work in H&S, and you wouldn't believ what fantastic service we got from that point on:-) The manager came over at least another 5 times during our meal! But LMB didn't eat much (well, she had her ice cream, but not much food), and it made the meal a stressful event, rather than a fun treat:-(

When we got back to the house, and I was getting LMB ready for bed, I noticed that she had actually lost a tooth. It was definitely there immediately after the accident when I checked her mouth, but it must have been loose and fallen out when she started trying to eat!

It looks like it's come right out, root & all, and it's only a milk tooth, so shouldn't cause any major problems, but it's a trip to the dentist to check it out as soon as we get home:-( And I feel terrible that she's missing a tooth already! And, I can't even blame anyone - it was just an accident! Bah, what's the point of having injuries if you can't even claim a whopping great payout?

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Lost in Lisburn

So here we are, happily ensconced in NI. The travelling was not fantastic - we were supposed to fly out of Bristol at 8am, and it's only a 50min flight, so I packed up a load of sandwiches, crisps and chewy bars, and 6 little bottles of drinks, and traipsed off to the airport for 7am. We hung around in the departure lounge for an hour, then our flight was called. As we had young children we counted as pre-boarders, so checked in, walked through the doors with ine other family & then they closed boarding. There was a problem with the plane. Everyone else was told to sit down again, but we were already boarded, so hung around.

20 minutes later they said it would be a long wait & de-boarded us. So we ended up stuck in the departures lounge for another couple of hours! The kids were pretty well behaved really, but by the time we finally boarded they had completely used up their store of imaginative games, eaten all the food & finished all the drink!

LMD screamed the whole flight! But the other two were great.

BiL (nearly) collected us from the airport in Belfast & dropped us of at their home in Lisburn, then scooted off back to work, leaving uhs to our own devices for the day. We strolled into Lisburn proper for some very yummy luch, and a look around the shops, and got lost on the 1mile walk back! Oh well. It was still fun:-)

Anyway, the boys are playing really well together, Sister A (A trainee Psych Ed) has given me loads of info about Autism & Asbergers (which she also thinks fits Mstr A perfectly), and we had a good long chat last night about life, weddings, kids, childhood, our parents and stuff. It's nice, because we don't talk that much really - I'm not good on the phone.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Visiting

We're off to Northern Ireland first thing tomorrow morning to visit my sister, her fiance & his son. I'm not sure what kind of internet connection they've got, so posts may or may not appear over the weekend.

Please use the time wisely to lurk around in my archives or go visit my tenant, Motherhood Uncensored. She's got a great blog, all about life as an unexpectedly new(ish) mum, plus any old stuff that takes her fancy. Rather like me then? Oh yes, and she's just found out that she's pregnant again, and her first is barely more than a baby, so go wish her luck, congratualtions/commiserations & general support, cos pregnancy is shit!

Oh yes, just in case you have been failing in your job as readers and haven't done this tenant visiting thing before, all you have to do is click on her pretty black square over on my sidebar. I've put it nice and near the top in a prominent position, so you've got no excuses. Just one little click - you never know, you might discover it's your perfect blog!

Thursday Thirteen - Update

OK, so over the past few months I've posted a number of times about things I intend to do. A fair few of you have asked for updates on how these are going, so here it is.....

1. NYR 1 - Lose weight, back to my pre Mstr A pregnancy size.A slow process, but one that has actually started now I've finally fibished feeding LMD, and therefore have no more excuses. I've lost maybe 4-6lb's. but there is an awful lot more to go.

2. NYR 2 - Leave my shitty employers & get another jobOh yeah, done that. Well, the leaving bit. Still waiting to get the next oine, but am busy busy busy running my own company at the moment.

3. NYR 3 - Be more organised & have some kind of routineWe-ell, I'm working on this one. I am slowly organising myself, but I do have a tendancy to fight it. I mean, going food shopping is just something that has to be done, it is NOT what I do on a Wednesday. That's no way to spend your life! And God help me if I get to the stage where I say "ooh no, thanks for offering, but I couldn't possibly come over for coffee tomorrow, it's my housework day"

4. NYR 4 - Keep the front room tidyTidier. There should have been an ier on the end! It's definitely better. I'm working on it OK?

5. NYR 5 - Finish the ****ing bedroom wallsAggie has put up a whole three boards - approx 2 square metres! At this rate I may have half a wall finished by the end oif the year.

6. NYR 6 - Find some time to do regular exerciseNo, not yet. Maybe when I get organised:-)

7. NYR 7 - Read moreYES! I've read a few good books this year already, and generally find at least some time each evening to read now.

8. NYR 8 - Watch less TVYES! With Aggie addicted to his computer game in the back room, I can sit in the front room and TURN the TV OFF when there is nothing I want to watch on. Giving me time to read, blog & relax.

9. NYR 9 - Toilet train LMBNot yet, still working on it slightly, but I can't be bothered to put much effort in during the winter. It's too much hassle to take off coats, pull down tights etc. In the summer she can run around naked, and it all works much better.

10. NYR 10 - Save some money (yeah right!)Absolutely not:-(

11. Fight the chocolate addictionHmmm, kinda done ok-ish on this one. I've completely (nearly) given up buying any. I can now resist the urge to wander aimlessly around the house until I get my hit. I refuse to make do with dodgy sub-standard replacements (hot chocolate/chocolate spread etc) I still plunge head first off the wagon when offered any with even the smallest excuse though!

12. Stop LMD's feeds by her first birthdayOh yes, been there done that. From at least 6 feeds a day on Christmas day, I dropped a feed a week, and it was completely withdrawn on the evening of her birthday (30th Jan). Other than the fact that she now eats EVEN more than she did previously, she doesn't seem at all bothered. Actually, she might even be more settled and independant now she doesn't need me all the time. I, on the other hand, am still in absolute ****ing agony. DON'T TOUCH ME!!!!

13. Get a full nights sleepOh yes, sleeping is goooood. All the kids sleep through the night now. Every night! Once again, three days of controlled crying were all that was required. Woo hoo - I feel so much better for it - and so does LMB! Now if only I could teach her that 6am is not wake up time.....

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!(leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Those nice BlogMad people

See, see I was just saying on Debambam's" blog that the blogmad people were real people who came and commented when I joined up, & they've come back again to see what I've been up to (I assume they're only interested in what i've been up re: promoting blogmad, but still...)

Not like that poor excuse of an administration at blog explosion who refused to talk to me without a court order!

Just for being so nice, I've decided to give them another plug. Go join up before they go live. Last chance, as they're in Beta testing phase right now!

It's easy, you can click on the little button down there at the bottom off my sidebar, or if you are too lazy to go look for that, just click here

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

At the risk of becoming a political blog...

It's good to see we haven't lost all sense in our fear of insulting muslims, with the conviction of Abu Hamza for incitment to murder & racial hatred.

I only heard one of his "sermons" and it was undoubtedly the most revolting thing I have ever come across. And that includes the Nazi propeganda that was a constant theme of my childhood.

Now lets see what the fall out is....

UPDATE: The fall out so far seems to be moderate muslims rushing to every media outlet they can find to say how abhorrant they found Abu Hamza to be, that he doesn't represent British muslims, or most muslims around the world, and that they welcome peaceful debate & respect cultural differences.That can only be good.UPDATE 2: And that the CPS & police should have prosecuted him long before they did.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Hypocrites R US(A)

So while the US goes gallivanting around the world upholding "Truth, Justics & the American Way" (as said in the Lost Boys), and insisting that all countries revere their great universal values of religious tolerance (ha ha), democracy and the freedom of speech, back at home they are busy censoring some of the worlds best known lyrics!

Apparently they decided to censor the explicit words (that would be "come" and "cock" then?) because "they might cause offence to a number of people" (quoted on BBC 6 O'clock news tonight).

Of course, that is NOTHING like some people being offended by a bunch of cartoons, cos they are all radical violent islamofascits who wouldn't know freedom of speech if it hit them in the face. It would have been TOTALLY wrong to censor those!

BTW -IMO both the cartoons & lyrics are perfectly acceptable forms of free speech, although a couple of the cartoons were in poor taste.

SAHM today, SAHM tomorrow

So today was my first real day as a stay at home mum. Weird huh?

Well, I know I'm theoretically still employed and merely on leave at the moment (and this week was booked ages ago), but I have nothing more to do for work, and nothing planned or booked in (actually, i do have a couple of meetings booked in, but I told my boss that I'm not going to attend them), so as the song says "I sound like a housewife. Hey ...., I think I'm a housewife"

Anyway, not looking forward to an infinity of days at home with the kids, I found myself a coffee morning to attend today, so this morning I dropped Mstr A off at school, ran the 2nd hand uniform sale, strolled down to town & bought LMD new shoes (she can take 6-10 steps at a tim now, and has reaslised that it's good to walk), I wandered over to the cafe & spent a couple of hours chatting to other mums, while the kids played with the same toys as they aren't at all interested in at home.

It was nice. nice people, relaxing chat, no stress. then we went off and had some lunch, looked around the book shop for the book i wanted to spend my Xmas money on (they seem to have stopped stocking it - I'll check amazon later), then strolled home with a stop at the bakers & greengrocers for fresh food. By the time we got home, both the girls were asleep, so I had time to make a nice supper, before fetching Mstr A from school.

I will definitely need to find some other activities to attend - it makes the day much shorter & more structured. But somehow I feel very decadent. I know that bringing children up is a vital job, but I feel like I haven't done anything useful today at all, just had a "day off". very strange.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Where do they all come from?

Oops, sorry. I sent you all off to visit my tenant, then his tenancy ended! I hope most of you got to check him out before he left:-)

Anyway, so Ive been cavorting around the home counties, teaching people 1st aid for the last couple of days. I trusted my sat-nav to find the venues, which it did admirably, and in doing so took me on a fantastic journey through the wilds of Surrey. Now I know Surrey is a very expensive place to buy a house, being next door to London and all that, but it seemed to be completely made up of palacial mansions nestled into great swathes of greenbelt land. I didn't see any "normal" houses at all!

Where do all those fantastically rich people come from? What do they do to be able to buy multi-million pound houses? Where do all the "normal" people in Surrey live?

I mean, IMO we have a pretty big house. 5 (almost) bedrooms, three stories, large garden. It's certainly bigger than our parents or most of our friends. But these places must've been 10 beds at least. Set in "grounds", not gardens! Whole towns full of them. OK, Guildford had some houses similar to ours - but Guildford is spectacularly expensive to live in, so that can't be the answer (I applied for a job in Guildford once, as it has the largest sports centre in the UK - they were offering a £20k relocation grant & it was still completely impossible to find anything at all!). Iguess there must be some estates hidden somewhere, but I sure took a good tour of half the county & I couldn't find them!

Anyway, lovely venues for courses, very friendly people, nice feedback & happy customers. And both places were heated - what more can I ask? Oh yes, and it was very gratifying that all my children came and gave me enormous hugs & kisses when I got home, but had obviously been quite happy & well taken care off while I was away. Well done Aggie & Nanny A.

Friday, February 03, 2006

How depressing!

I went to college again today. Did I mention that I got three assignments back last week - all distictions? Yay me!

Anyway, I may have mentioned that I took the college course partly to keep my brain in gear, partly out of general interest and partly to meet new people. Sadly the new people were not particularly exciting being a) all female (boooring) and b) mostly very young (16, 17, 18 ish). Not to say I don't like them. I get on well with most, and have my own little group to join for lunch and all that, but no real great friendships formed.

My lecturer likes to natter on about her personal life, her kids, new husband (and the wedding), her obsession with Next, which is fine by me & gives the class quite an informal air, and encourages off-topic discussions sometimes. But today we were discussing a court case from 1966, regarding the Barron Knights.

"Most of you will be too young to rememebr them, but has anyone heard of them?" she asked the class at large. A few of us "oldies" nodded our heads sagely, yes, we knew roughly who they were, although we hastened to add that we were not great fans:-)

"Who?" asked one of the youngsters, "I've never heard of them. were they big?"

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Thursday Thriteen - My week

2. There were 11 children at her Birthday party on Saturday, which is waaay too many to have in my house

3. Trodden in poo is neither easy, nor fun to get out of hallway carpets!

4. Mothers who don't even apologise when their child poo's on my stairs will not be invited back to my house.

5. LMD has taken amazingly well to having her feeds stopped, and has not seemed at all bothered by the total absense of milk in her diet now

6. I finally chucked in my job this week

7. I wrote a nasty letter of resignation & just sent the computer, phone etc back to them without any prior warning, so I feel that a reference is remarkably unlikely:-)

8. I reckon I'm not quite done with them yet, as I suspect they will not pay me at the end of this month, or certainly not my expences (still owed Dec & Jan's).

9. I have no job to go to, and it's a scary thought. Aggies salary does not cover our outgoings, even when pared down to the minimum spend.

10. I have enough work booked through my own company that we can live for three months. After that I either have to be employed & have my first wages paid, or have more work booked in, and the spring is traditionally a quiet time for my company.

11. For the first time ever, I was not desperate for my mother to leave during her visit.

12. I feel that all my children now have some sort of familial relationship with my mother, and I do not have to work at keeping her away from any of them (although neither can I leave them alone with her).

13. every now & then my mother talks about retiring to Weston to be closer to me & my family. I have absolutely no idea why, as she shows no sign of interest in, or ability to actually help with the kids. i am not against the idea though. it would mean that I could go back to work properly & without worry as they get older. But i'm not convinced it will ever happen:-)

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

mmmmmm

I went shopping today - not terribly interesting I know, but while there I saw some gorgeous looking chocolate cheesecakes on special offer. You know the ones - from the superior/finest/best range, in individual glass pots, generally costing more than your whole dinner.

I did um and ah over them for a while, but thought it really was a stupid buy, even if they were on offer, so mollified myself with buying cheap chocolate desserts of the common variety (in plastic pots, costing the same as the soft drink you have with your dinner.

The kids werevery good and polished off platefuls of their dinner, so were rewarded with these special desserts (the poor deprived things usually get fruit, yoghurt or maybe rice pudding!).

Horay again

My mother has just left - but for once that's not the horay I'm talking about. In fact it was a very sucessful visit all round. Agie has been pretty much out of the way th whole time was here (either working or playing Eve!), and I haven't re-arranged anything, or put myself out at all, and it'smade the visit much more relaxed.

She got to know the kids much better too. LMB has always been her favourite, (well, ever since LMB worked out that Grandma's are mugs & if you smile & cuddle them you can get absolutely anything you want), but now LMD is growing up my mother is willing to try with her too. LMD is such a happy soul most of the time, she smiles and says hello to grandma now. Of course we still had to take her with us when we went out on Sunday night because my mother is "scared" of my babies (she looked after over 60 babies herself, but can't manage one evening with mine!), and i am not happy to leave them with her, knowing she will not do anything anyway.

She also had time to sit and watch Mstr A playing, interacting with other children, and talking to other adults. I think this was a total revelation for her, because after a few hours she started pointing out all the ways in which his behaviour was not "normal" for 5 1/2 year old boy.

Yes mum, that's what I've been telling you for the past 18 months!

Anyway, their relationship certainly improved alot while she was here too. She seems to have finally accepted that he's not being deliberately insolent to her personally, but that's just how he is, and good management techniques will make everyone's life infinitely better & easier.

so all in all, a good visit. I'm glad to have the house back to myself though:-) time to get soem tidying done. today really does feel like the first day of the rest of my life, and I really ought to start my housewifely life acting a little bit like a housewife:-)