8 practical ways of dealing with a lack of communication in your relationship

Do you feel like you and your partner have unresolved issues that you need to discuss, or do you just feel like you never talk about anything at all? These strategies can help you.

by Joshua George

July 30, 2018

Posted July 30, 2018

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Communication forms the basis of any relationship. Without communication, there is no relationship because there is no way for you to relate to your partner. A deep, lasting partnership is only possible when you are involved in each other's lives and able to discuss both trivial and serious issues.

Communication is essential to any relationship (Pexels)

If you've noticed an alarming lack of communication in your association with your partner then you may need to take a step back and figure out what's wrong. Have you allowed your passion to become lukewarm? Or is conflict in your relationship so frequent that all your interactions have become tense and reactive?

Has your communication become boring or even tense? (Pexels)

If you're worried about any of these, fret not! There are some simple ways you can get your relationship back on track by opening up channels of communication so that you no longer feel misunderstood, ignored, or rejected. Here are some strategies to follow:

There are simple steps you can take to restore communication (Pexels)

1. Begin with the little things

Everything starts small, so when you're trying to repair gaps in your relationship, don't get right to the heavy stuff. This may be overwhelming for your partner. Instead, begin with the little things. Ask them how their day went, ask them how they feel about the relationship and if they're happy, or ask them if they'd like to talk to you about anything.

Start by asking your partner about the little things (Pexels)

2. Don't expect your partner to read your mind

You may think you're making your feelings evident by ignoring your partner, walking away in a huff, or even doing nice things for them to show them that you love them. However, nothing works better than explicitly saying what you feel.

Don't expect your partner to read your mind (Pexels)

The rift between you will only grow if your partner has to constantly guess what you're thinking - whether it's positive or negative. When there is no ambiguity about what you're feeling, then your partner is better able to respond to your feelings.

Constantly having to guess what you're thinking can make your partner drift away from you (Pexels)

3. Be curious about each other

One of the major passion killers in a relationship is the lack of interest in each other. When you don't really want to know your partner deeper, or you don't seem curious about who they are, their interests, or what makes them happy, then you will only drift apart.

A lack of interest in each other can drive you apart (Pexels)

Ask questions about what they like, what turns them on, or where they would like to hang out. Open up about yourself, too - surprise your partner by telling them something interesting about yourself that they would have never guessed.

Be curious about each other (Pexels)

4. Put aside the technology

You can be so absorbed in catching up to what's happening on social media that you forget to pay attention to your partner. Whenever you're together, keep your phone or laptop aside, so that they don't keep you from having conversations with your partner.

Put aside your technological devices when you're around each other (Pexels)

5. Give your partner your undivided attention

Sometimes, communication can dwindle in a relationship because your partner feels like you don't listen to them wholeheartedly when they're talking to you. They may eventually give up or get frustrated with trying to get you to listen.

Do you get distracted when your partner is talking to you? (Pexels)

One of the important things to do when your partner is telling you something important is to put aside whatever you're engrossed in at the moment and make eye contact. Acknowledge everything they say with a nod or an affirmation and respond to what they say.

Your partner deserves your undivided attention (Pexels)

6. Talk to your partner when they're upset

If you notice your partner looking subdued or upset, or they are visibly angry and have been fuming for quite a while, the last thing you should do is wait for them to calm down and pretend like nothing happened. Ignoring them won't make the bad feelings go away.

Don't ignore your partner when they're upset (Pexels)

Go over and ask them if they're all right. Find out if they're willing to talk about whatever it is that's upsetting them. Ask them if you did something that hurt them, and be willing to discuss it later if they want to. Make sure that you have a healthy discussion so that they feel like you care about their feelings.

Talk to your partner if they seem distant or upset (Pexels)

7. Be kind and respectful

The best way to keep channels of communication between you and your partner open is to make it pleasant for them to talk to you about anything. When you respond with kindness and respect, even if they don't, you establish a good pattern for communication that they will eventually adopt.

Be kind and respectful when talking to your partner (Pexels)

Even if you're upset, calm down first and then talk about your feelings. Avoid an accusatory tone - try to be as neutral as possible. Begin your sentences with "I" instead of "You." For example, say "I felt hurt when you said that," instead of "You hurt me when you said that."

Maintain a neutral tone (Pexels)

8. Talk until you both feel understood

When you have conversations about your issues, make sure that both of you try to see it from the other's perspective. If both of you only want to be understood but neither wants to understand the other, then your conversations will be futile. Make sure you validate each other's feelings and take responsibility for your own actions.

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