We've all been there. We've all made mistakes. Trying to live your life without making mistakes is futile. Learning how to respond correctly after you make them is crucial.

Yet I notice in the world today, and in me, an immature tendency to avoid taking ownership of our own mistakes.

None of us likes to make mistakes and no one wants to be the center of negative attention. But if you've messed up, there is a right way to react and a wrong way — primarily three very common wrong ways. I call them the 3 Strategies of Shiftiness. See if they sound familiar.

• The Lie: We flat-out make up little white lies to try and diminish our mistake. We blame FedEx for the unmet delivery time when in reality we didn't meet the deadline. We blame traffic for arriving late when really we slept in.

Why do we make up these little lies? One reason is because we think we can get away with it, but the deeper reason is because we are simply embarrassed by our own incompetence. And the lie allows us to pretend a little longer that we're perfect and we really have it all together and this was just an extenuating circumstance.

• The Shift: We see this all the time. We bring someone else into our mistake and throw them under the bus with us. "I was doing my part, but then Jane didn't quite do hers."

The hilarious irony is that we often kick off that story by saying something like, "I don't want to throw anyone under the bus, but ..." Why do we do this? I don't think it's because we're evil; I think it's because we're weak. We simply feel vulnerable that we made a mistake, and by bringing in someone else, (we think) it somehow diminishes the focus on us.

• The Compare: Finally, in classic shifty fashion, we will attempt to deflect attention from our mistake by bringing up a past instance of what we think was someone else's mistake that we never got resolution from. But there couldn't be a worse time for this.

If there is some other issue from the past, deal with it separately at a separate time, otherwise it just makes you look worse.

If you want to make yourself more forgivable and you want your life to be clear of emotional mess, you should try a different strategy.

• The Transparent: Chances are you've heard the three strategies above (and used them) and you know how ultimately self-defeating they really are. They never bring complete resolution, and they erode trust because everybody involved knows what is happening even if they don't say it out loud.

But here's a powerful response that no one can argue with that will totally absolve you and give you peace: "I wanted to do something good. It turned out to be something bad. Clearly it was a mistake. It's no one else's fault but my own. I am terribly sorry. Is there any way you can please forgive me?"

Because we all make mistakes, we can all easily empathize with the desire and need for forgiveness. But because we all make mistakes, we can also clearly sniff out when someone is employing one of the 3 Strategies of Shiftiness.

You can be shifty and still get my forgiveness. Forgiveness, after all, is about my choice to be free of your sins rather than to hold onto them.

But you can't be shifty and still keep my trust. I know a little white lie when I see one because I've spent my entire life becoming an expert at coming up with them myself.

So it's OK to make a mistake. But if you want to be more forgivable to those around you, make sure to cover up your mistake with powerful truth rather than compounding it with little lies.

Rory Vaden is co-founder of Southwestern Consulting, a self-discipline strategist and speaker and New York Times bestselling author of "Take the Stairs." Listen to his weekly podcast and get free daily insights at www.roryvadenblog.com.