Monday, December 17, 2012

If You Speaketh, Yo' Ass Iseth!

The problem with the world is simple - people are liars. Straight out the box pull my draws down and kiss my ass liars. We should say what we mean because me mean it. Not because its what the other person wants us to hear. Why must we continue to portray ourselves as something that we're clearly not? I just don't get it...

There's a company that offers free business cards. People order the cards and make up a title to put on it just to get the free cards. Why? Ain't nobody thinking about yo' dumb ass like that! Get over yourself fool! Pretending as a child with imaginary friends is fine - pretending as an adult with grown folk will get your ass beat, stomped and talked about for the idiot that you're pretending to be.

I know you're asking yourself why all the hostility. I mean, we're more than waist deep in the season to love thy neighbor, right? Well, if you know me then you know childcare has ALWAYS been an issue. People are not reliable, they want millionaire money or they're simply lazy. There is a solution for every problem - stop relying on the wrong people; family included.

There are websites that list reliable people. Reliable I say because the people listed on the website chose to place themselves there. No one asked for their services - they volunteered without hesitation. Okay, here's a quick rundown -

1 Checked ol' girlie out and she seemed right for the job.
2.Background check completed - YAY no blemishes!
3.Ol' girlie met with me and my child - perfect match!
4. First child care date set
5. The day arrives - no call/no show
6. Huh?
7. No call/no show
8. What?
9. No call/no show
10.

Now why would you advertise yourself and go through all the motions to say you're something you're not? If You Speaketh, Yo' Ass Iseth! Why? Oh, let me make a small correction. Sending a text is the thing to do these days, so after I placed a call to her when she was 15 minutes late and the call went dead, she sent a text.

"I'm runimg a little late I been trying to contact yu all day I cam only txt I broke my phone"

Uh, yea, everybody can't spell but what the hail? A good 16 hours had preceded us without a call or text. Really? Heffa...

My anger comes from the fact that Dasia had gotten two bowls of popcorn ready and two Capri Sun juices so they could begin their movie watching marathon. Standing me up - fine. Standing up my child? Oh, yo' ass is about'ta catch a serious yo name is Toby beatin'!

The night ended well because a reliable sitter came at the last minute in her place. Alas, the popcorn was not wasted after all. But look a-here, if you say you're a Hairdresser be a Hairdresser. Don't have people coming to you and all you can do is one style from the 80's. If you say you're a Dentist, be a Dentist Don't get down with yours Doctor Giggles style. If you say you're a Publicist, Promoter, Marketer, Agent, blah, blah, blah - be it dammit! Bragging that you have a Facebook page...mutha'&%$#% alot of people have a Facebook page. Who cares about your wanna be insignificant ass?

The people that are making it happen are making it happen. Riding coattails, running your mouth, and trying to live like the Jones's is old and tired. Besides, the Jones's went bankrupt. We say you are what you eat. Some folks must eat a daily dose of shit. We're on the tip on a New Year. Resolve to do better. Resolve to be better. Talking loud and saying nothing is so over. Click your heels 3 times and repeat after me, If You Speaketh, Yo' Ass Iseth. No what were you saying?