So seriously positive people who hate complaining and complainers… what do you do for small talk? When someone is sighing their brains out about how hard it all is, there is only so much “That sounds really tough, I’m sorry” I can do before I have to just agree with them or pretend to agree with them. And if I say that I agree with them, I can feel their negative energy creeping into my brainwaves and I am doing so much work to fight against unnecessary negativity!!!

Ugh… SIGH… it’s just SO HARD! See? Like that.

How do I stop that? How do I be a supportive coworker/friend/etc. without falling into their spiral of badness? And what do I talk about if I don’t have to complain about how overwhelmed I am? Does anybody have a good strategy for turning around a negative conversation?

I asked the “Let it Be” people (that’s the “podcast about less doing and more being) and they said “good question!” but they didn’t answer it. They got stuff to do… or stuff to … be.

1 I’ve been on a big mindfulness kick lately. I go on mindfulness kicks every now and then and whenever I do it, there is a voice in the back of my head that tells me I’m doing something frivolous and not worthwhile. Then another voice argues that stress can cause serious medical problems and so it is worthwhile. And then another voice expresses extreme anxiety that I am too stressed out and it’s going to lead to health problems- health problems that are ALL MY FAULT. And WHY AREN’T YOU DOING MORE TO CALM DOWN? CALM DOWN!!!!!!!!!

2. I have this horrible thought that comes up pretty much every time I hear about someone I know having to be laid up in the hospital. This horrible thought is, “How very nice for them- maybe it will be me someday.” What a weird thing to think. But people in the hospital are being allowed to rest, to be taken care of, to take a break from their responsibilities- and they have an external reason for it. Something happened beyond their control so they are also excused from the guilt of not being Busy. I don’t know what the answer to this is… maybe to pull out and find hospital time for myself… time to do nothing but focus on resting and getting better. My kid is asleep and my husband is at rehearsal… so maybe now.

3. I think the most popular subject of conversation in workplaces is how Busy we all are. The more Busy you are, the better teacher/mom/therapist/worker you are, of course. If you’re not feeling so Busy, you better not admit it because people will think you don’t care enough about your job or that you need to be given more to do. I have fought and fought and fought this, but the Busy is so contagious. I mean what do you have to talk about if you’re not Busy?

4. I am afraid I don’t know how to live and work in the world and not be in a state of panic. I’ve been so much better these last few weeks but sometimes I feel like it’s an uphill battle. There are so many things and people telling me about how hard and stressful and bad things are… how failure at everything is inevitable. I don’t know what the solution is… more meditation? More medication? More friends that don’t talk like this?

5. And what is this blog post? A big huge complaining proclamation about how Hard everything is. mkay… gonna end this post now… do some deep breathing…

I’m so used to “total crisis panic mode” that I think something is horribly wrong when I don’t have a large mountain of burning crap to deal with.

I was thinking to myself a few weeks ago- when I was dealing with the wrath of unholy hour-cutting and subsequent poverty- about what it might feel like if the new job was everything I wanted. I was unsure if I’d be able to handle it.

I’m way too early into the school year to make broad statements about how perfect my job is now, but I would like to report that I have had two weeks of enough to do and enough time to do what I need to do when I need to do it. I’ve had time to make dinner. I’ve had time to seriously consider putting thought into side dishes for dinner. I’ve had time to go running. I’ve been listening to podcasts about mindfulness (my favorite is currently “On Being“).

I’m currently enjoying a weekend that is completely free of any kind of money-making duties. While my son is napping- I took a bath, baked some brownies, finished reading the book club pick of the month and wrote this blog post.

I would like to graciously give up bragging about how busy I am and start bragging about how much I’m winning at life. But first, I need to shake the feeling that there must be something I’m forgetting to do and the need to look for some area of my life in which I am failing miserably. Gotta reprogram those neural pathways designed by the chronic stress of the last 10 years.