Story One: Man arrested for giving wicked wedgies, or snuggies, or melvyns, or whatever you call pulling the underwear over a nerd's head.

Story Two: Fifty Year Old School Teacher Gets Tanked on Cheap Wine, wrecks her van, offers to blow the cop if he lets her go.

Florida, I love you. You're just so fun!

Story #1:
Charles Ross is known for orchestrating outrageous pranks and posting them to Youtube. But this time, the 18-year-old prankster may have gone a step too far.

Ross was arrested for battery Sunday night after he allegedly gave a series of wedgies to moviegoers outside the Carmike Royal Palm 20 in Bradenton, Fla., while a friend filmed the prank, the Bradenton Herald reports.

The underwear prank, which Gawker calls a "wedgie spree," ended badly for Ross when a 20-year-old male victim reported to authorities that Ross grabbed him "by the back of his pants and pulled them up hard," according to the Smoking Gun. Although other victims of the schoolyard prank also came forward, the 20-year-old is the only one seeking charges.

On his Youtube channel, Ross has uploaded video footage of him performing a variety of pranks -- from doing handstands over people to trying out pick-up lines -- but the latest in his compilation is by far one of his most hands-on public displays.

According to the police report obtained by the Smoking Gun, Ross challenged the male victim following the wedgie, "asking if he wanted to hit him."

The Mantee County Sheriff's Office arrested Ross and detained him overnight. He was released on $750 bail, records show, and his court date is set for Feb. 14.

Though Ross' wedgie spree was meant in jest, this is not the first time someone has been arrested for doling out the uncomfortable underwear gag. In 2006, an Albany, N.Y., teacher was arrested for endangering the welfare of a child after allegedly giving a 10-year-old student a wedgie during summer school.

Story #2:
'A' for effort?
Middle school math teacher Mary Maloney allegedly offered oral sex to a police officer after being nabbed for a hit-and-run in Palm Beach County, Fla.

Maloney, 53, was arrested Sunday after she crashed her van into a pickup truck around 8:35 p.m., then took off, according to an arrest report obtained by the Sun Sentinel. A witness to the crash tracked Maloney's car to a parking spot and then called police.

The arresting officer said he found an empty gallon jug of wine behind Maloney's driver's seat and "immediately smelled the strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from her person," according to WPTV. The report states that her eyes were glassy, bloodshot, and partially closed.
The officer that drove Maloney to the police station noted that she asked him "How much do I need to pay you to just let me go? Don't you understand I am a school teacher?"

She then allegedly offered to perform oral sex on him and allow him to fondle her breasts.

Maloney was charged with driving under the influence, leaving the scene of a crash with damage, resisting an officer without violence, driving with a suspended license and attempted bribery of a public servant.

A carnival worker may get more than a slap on the wrist after being accused of slapping the buttocks of a juvenile female.

Nicholas Berg, 28, was charged with simple battery after allegedly slapping the girl on her buttocks as she started to get on a slide in the funhouse at a carnival in New Port Richey, Fla., this past weekend, the Tampa Bay Times reported.

A witness told deputies the suspect appeared to touch the girl's behind without permission, but Berg told police he only touched her on her back.

He was released after posting $500 bond.

Berg isn't the only carnival worker who has been accused of acting inappropriately with underage customers.

In September, 2011, Illinois carnival worker James West, 25, and his 20-year-old girlfriend were accused of sending sexually explicit photos and text messages to a 16-year-old high school student.

But those accusations seem tame compared to the case of Florida carny Gregory Matthew Bruni.

In January, Bruni was accused of running naked into a house, masturbating in the living room, defecating in two places and drinking the contents of the vacuum.

Deputies in Vero Beach, Fla. say that 64-year-old Fleurette French dialed 911 on multiple occasions in March because she was "lonely," according to an arrest affidavit obtained by TC Palm.

A dispatcher says when French made an emergency call around 8 p.m. on March 30, she reported a medical issue and noted that she had been drinking. The dispatcher stated the woman "was in no obvious distress."

A medic sent to French's home told deputies when he got there, French admitted she had really just called "because she was lonely," but she was nonetheless taken to a local hospital.

Investigators then found French had called 911 five times between March 22 and March 30. Each time she was drunk, and each time she was transported to the hospital, according to the affidavit.

Doctors found that French had no medical issue. She was charged with abuse of 911.

French isn't the first lonely individual to allegedly call 911. In 2010, an Ohio woman was accused of repeatedly calling 911 and asking dispatchers out on dates. She was also accused of urinating in her apartment building's hallway.

Last May, an Oklahoma man allegedly dialed the emergency line 17 times in one day to try and talk dirty with the operators.

Volusia County deputies say that transient Dwayne Cook, 45, was discovered Tuesday half-naked in the bedroom of an Oak Hill, Fla., woman he had allegedly been stalking, the Orlando Sentinel reports.

Erica Freeman, 25, told law enforcement that Cook has a "perverted infatuation" with her and has repeatedly shown up at her home uninvited, according to the Daytona Beach News-Journal. She said that on one occasion, she woke up to the man in her bedroom massaging her feet. Another time, she says she saw him watching her from the woods. She had called deputies about the incident, but Cook was never found.

Freeman and her husband, Cyle Freeman, had just returned from a trip to the store Tuesday when they opened the bedroom door and say they found Cook inside with his pants around his ankles, according to Click Orlando. Cyle Freeman says he punched Cook in the face, after which the intruder jumped out the window.

Maintenance workers in the neighborhood called the police after they say they saw Cook go into another home at around 4:30 p.m. They noted that blood was dripping down his face.

Deputies entered the home and arrested Cook, charging him with stalking and burglary with assault or battery. They also noted he had sustained a cut to his forehead.

Volusia County deputies say that transient Dwayne Cook, 45, was discovered Tuesday half-naked in the bedroom of an Oak Hill, Fla., woman he had allegedly been stalking, the Orlando Sentinel reports.

Erica Freeman, 25, told law enforcement that Cook has a "perverted infatuation" with her and has repeatedly shown up at her home uninvited, according to the Daytona Beach News-Journal. She said that on one occasion, she woke up to the man in her bedroom massaging her feet. Another time, she says she saw him watching her from the woods. She had called deputies about the incident, but Cook was never found.

Freeman and her husband, Cyle Freeman, had just returned from a trip to the store Tuesday when they opened the bedroom door and say they found Cook inside with his pants around his ankles, according to Click Orlando. Cyle Freeman says he punched Cook in the face, after which the intruder jumped out the window.

Maintenance workers in the neighborhood called the police after they say they saw Cook go into another home at around 4:30 p.m. They noted that blood was dripping down his face.

Deputies entered the home and arrested Cook, charging him with stalking and burglary with assault or battery. They also noted he had sustained a cut to his forehead.

Laquavia Sharelle Wallace, 22, was arrested Tuesday in Manatee County, Fla. after she violently pulled on her ex-boyfriend's penis, according to a police report obtained by The Smoking Gun.

According to the report, Wallace had gone to her ex's Bradenton home to pick up their daughter, and when the man invited her inside, they got into an argument because Wallace "wanted to start another dating relationship with [the victim]."

Her ex didn't want to start dating again, and deputies say the argument escalated until Wallace "grabbed [the victim's] penis with her right hand and began pulling on it, which caused pain."

A relative of the victim witnessed the incident, according to the report. The ex-boyfriend refused to file charges against Wallace, but deputies charged her with domestic battery anyway.

Bradenton Patch reported that Wallace was released from jail the next day after posting bond.

Laquavia Sharelle Wallace, 22, was arrested Tuesday in Manatee County, Fla. after she violently pulled on her ex-boyfriend's penis, according to a police report obtained by The Smoking Gun.

According to the report, Wallace had gone to her ex's Bradenton home to pick up their daughter, and when the man invited her inside, they got into an argument because Wallace "wanted to start another dating relationship with [the victim]."

Her ex didn't want to start dating again, and deputies say the argument escalated until Wallace "grabbed [the victim's] penis with her right hand and began pulling on it, which caused pain."

A relative of the victim witnessed the incident, according to the report. The ex-boyfriend refused to file charges against Wallace, but deputies charged her with domestic battery anyway.

Bradenton Patch reported that Wallace was released from jail the next day after posting bond.

"AHHH, no more yankee my wankee, the Donger needs food!"

__________________
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"The only difference between sex for free and sex for money is that sex for free costs you a WHOLE LOT more!"~Redd Foxx~

It's safe to say April 9 was a crappy day for Orlando resident Michael Johnston.

Not only was the 44-year-old arrested for allegedly shooting up a public dock, he admitted to pooping his pants while being questioned, according to a sheriff's report obtained by TCPalm.

Deputies from the Indian River County Sheriff’s Office say they got the straight poop from Johnston when they responded to a report of shots being fired near the Gifford Docks in Vero Beach around 9:20 p.m.

Investigators found Johnston, who they say admitted to drinking at least eight boozy beverages and firing shots at a glass bottle.

No one was injured in the incident.

Deputies noted about 20 shots were fired, and that the dock had sustained bullet holes and other damage. The report also mentions that he defecated in his pants while being questioned.

Johnson was arrested on charges including criminal mischief and using a firearm while under the influence of alcohol.

Nemeha Millen had a first date she'll never forget: good conversation, a long walk in the park, and getting carjacked.

On her 21st birthday, the Florida woman went out with 19-year-old Donald Bernard McGee Jr., whom she told police she met after he started sending her text messages.

The two strolled through a Boynton Beach park until around 10 p.m. when the couple went to a nearby Wendy's to wait for McGee's brother.

But instead of stealing a kiss, McGee allegedly whipped out a gun and stole her car, according to the Florida Sun-Sentinel.

"I grabbed my purse and then he fought me for my purse with a gun," Milien told WPBF-TV. "He pointed it at my face."

Officers chased McGee on Interstate 95 for about eight miles until he lost control of the vehicle. He faces charges of armed carjacking, robbery with a firearm and possession of marijuana.

Milien told the station that she has no plans to date anyone else anytime soon.

It may rank as one of the least romantic dates in history, but it's just one of many bizarre carjacking stories that have popped up in recent months.

In February, 7-month-old Ayanna Julbe went on a wild ride after her parents left her in their idling car when they went into a store. The vehicle was carjacked, but the thief abandoned the vehicle -- and called police -- when he realized there was a baby on board.

In January, two armed men in Orlando, Fla., attempted to carjack a Corvette, but were unable to figure out how to work the manual transmission.

And in December, John Brigham allegedly instigated multiple car crashes while driving in Scottsdale, Ariz., After the pileup, he allegedly stripped completely and carjacked a Prius.

It's safe to say April 9 was a crappy day for Orlando resident Michael Johnston.

Not only was the 44-year-old arrested for allegedly shooting up a public dock, he admitted to pooping his pants while being questioned, according to a sheriff's report obtained by TCPalm.

Deputies from the Indian River County Sheriff’s Office say they got the straight poop from Johnston when they responded to a report of shots being fired near the Gifford Docks in Vero Beach around 9:20 p.m.

Investigators found Johnston, who they say admitted to drinking at least eight boozy beverages and firing shots at a glass bottle.

No one was injured in the incident.

Deputies noted about 20 shots were fired, and that the dock had sustained bullet holes and other damage. The report also mentions that he defecated in his pants while being questioned.

Johnson was arrested on charges including criminal mischief and using a firearm while under the influence of alcohol.

A man from Polk County, Fla., allegedly told women he was a Boy Scout trying to earn a community service badge so they would let him massage, kiss, and sometimes suck on their toes.

Reginald Cruz, 23, was arrested on Wednesday after allegedly asking a 10-year-old girl if he could touch her feet, apparently for sexual gratification, The Tampa Tribune reported. The child's mother called authorities after she ran inside.

Authorities charged Cruz with lewd conduct on a minor, obtaining property by fraud and battery.

The 23-year-old told authorities that he's been approaching women since he was 6-years-old, according to a Polk County Sheriff Office news release. Cops said his victims were usually dark-skinned and have ranged from 10 to 32 years old.

Detectives said Cruz has changed his background story as he's aged. Most recently, he allegedly claimed to be a medical student conducting an experiment, according to WFLA.

Authorities believe Cruz has victimized more than 100 females, including children.

By Cindy Swirko
Staff writer
Published: Friday, April 26, 2013 at 11:33 a.m.
Last Modified: Friday, April 26, 2013 at 11:33 a.m.
A man who tried to shoot a squirrel for dinner by taping a .40-caliber cartridge to a BB gun was hospitalized with shrapnel wounds after the cartridge exploded, Gainesville police reported.

A sworn complaint was filed against William Daniel Lloyd, 31, for discharging a firearm in public and possession of ammunition by a convicted felon, Officer Ben Tobias stated in a press item.

Officer Diana Mattern responded to a medical emergency call at 600 SE 12th Terrace and learned that Lloyd had taped the cartridge to the end of a BB gun to shoot a squirrel, Tobias said.

Lloyd fired the BB gun, causing the BB to strike the cartridge’s primer. The cartridge discharged and fragmented, striking Lloyd in the upper arm and lower leg.

He was taken to the hospital with non-life-threatening injuries.

On Friday morning residents at his listed address said Lloyd had been released from the hospital and was back at work.

A sworn complaint was filed in lieu of arrest because of Lloyd’s injuries.

The state Department of Corrections website shows that Lloyd served time in prison for 2009 offenses for grand theft and trafficking stolen property. He was released in November 2011.

Lloyd told police he was trying to shoot a squirrel with a Pumpmaster 760 BB gun. His girlfriend told police that Lloyd told her he was trying to shoot a squirrel for dinner, according to police.

Lloyd and others at the home bandaged his wounds but he continued bleeding.

“Lloyd stated he knew he had been hit, but did not know how badly,” an officer wrote in the report.

Lloyd told police he knew he was not allowed to possess ammunition and that he found cartridges while “scrapping” — looking for scrap metal.

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Mecca

Well there is no way they're taking a QB 1st, I'd be bet my left testicle on that.