* In the episode "Sabado Free-Gante" of ''Series/HappyEndings'', Penny yells two actors' names as replacements for swear words when startled by Jane. First, "C.C.H. Pounder!" and later, "F. Murray Abraham!"* In an episode of ''Series/{{Selfie}}'', Saperstein is working with Eliza and Charmonique to find Henry a girl, and so Saperstein (showing his [[NoSenseOfPersonalSpace usual tendencies]],) decides to ask Henry about sexually transmitted diseases in the bathroom while they're at adjacent urinals-->'''Saperstein:''' You ever catch a case of the Shebola virus? You ever wake up with a Rotten Richard? You ever accidentally download a bad copy of ''Series/BurnNotice''?* In an episode of ''Series/{{Dollhouse}}'', you can ''lean'' on Topher's unwillingness to utter the word "erection". He prefers "man reaction".* ''Series/{{Frasier}}'': Done straight on occasion, usually with Frasier and Niles' expansive vocabulary and literary wit.-->'''Frasier:''' Truth be told, itís been a while since, I, uh... ''(covers Aliceís ears)'' romped with abandon through the perfumed gardens of Eros.-->'''Roz:''' Next time you say something like that, cover ''my'' ears.** In one episode, to avoid traumatizing Alice [Roz's daughter], Frasier uses the word "hug" to mean "sex." When Roz asks him whether he got hugs while married to Lilith, he replies that he had to settle for a [[CrowningMomentOfFunny weekly "handshake."]]* ''Series/{{Farscape}}'' used many made-up expletives and insults, such as "frell" (fuck), "dren" (shit), "mivonks" (balls), etc. This was parodied in the ''Series/StargateSG1'' episode "200", in which a scene inspired by Farscape featured dialogue consisting of little more than a string of made-up profanity. The two shows share two common actors - Ben Browder and Claudia Black.** In addition to the usual cursing, colloquial usages, there was at least one instance where Aeryn Sun (Claudia Black) used "frell" literally, to refer to actual sexual intercourse.** "Frell" was also used on ''Series/TheInvisibleMan'', which at the time was airing on the same night and channel.* Starbuck on ''Series/{{Battlestar Galactica|1978}}'' (the original series) was fond of words like "frack" and "felgercarb". (On the new series, Adama pére has a "Frack" shaving mirror from IKEA in his quarters, a deliberate reference to the goofy fake swear word they inherited. "Frack" is still used regularly in the new series as a substitute for the mother of all swear words, in all its possible contexts. And we mean ''all'', including "clusterfrack" and "motherfracker". And since it still begins with F, they can get away with saying "FUBAR".)** Spoofed in a ''WesternAnimation/RobotChicken'' [[http://www.milkandcookies.com/link/66708/detail/ episode]], lampooning [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar clueless FCC censors]].** Rather hilariously, someone at Kentucky Fried Chicken ''really'' didn't get the point, and created a BSG tie-in promotion involving a "Frak Pak" of chicken.** There was an in-universe poke at the simple substitution with Cally saying "motherfrakker", which obviously wasn't a common in-universe usage.* ''Series/BabylonFive'' used the word "frag" in the same context, as does [[Franchise/TheDCU DC's]] ''Lobo'', and ''WesternAnimation/BatmanBeyond'' - this is a bit odd, as the term is also an UnusualEuphemism for killing someone on your own side of the conflict, generally with a fragmentation grenade, which is where "frag" originated.** "Frak" also appears in some ''Series/BabylonFive'' ExpandedUniverse material, almost certainly a ShoutOut.** Early seasons of ''Babylon 5'' also use "stroke" and "stroking" in place of "fuck" and "fucking" -- presumably referring to masturbation.** The RPG ''TabletopGame/{{Shadowrun}}'' started out using "frag" as an UnusualEuphemism for killing, but somewhere around third edition switched to this.* ''Series/RedDwarf'' was an unusual case, in that the writers found out later that their made-up word ("smeg") did, in fact, have a [[http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=smegma borderline-naughty meaning]]. Actually entered semi-common usage in the United Kingdom for a while.** The trade name "Smeg", completely independently, is also an Italian line of cooking ranges. The writers of ''Red Dwarf'', hearing about this, expressed regret that they had not thought to trademark the word.** Although there were weren't other made-up swear words, there were quite a few made-up ''insults'' which were favoured by Rimmer, and oddly enough all began with ''g'': goit, gimp, gimboid and gwenlan. (The latter was in honour of a TV executive with the surname Gwenlan who'd insisted the show wouldn't work as a sitcom because "there were no french windows".)** The phrase "Gazpacho soup" was worse than any smeg based insult for Rimmer.* ''Series/ICarly'': Aside from character expressions, the random phrases printed on the Penny Tees can be either this or [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar this]].** Carly's "Holy flab!"** Sam's "Whoa, daddy!", "No chiz!", and "Holy cheese!"** Freddie's "Oh, butter!" and "Good gravy!"** Spencer's "Gas bubble!" and "Holy similar!"** Gibby's "Oh, mustard!" and "Sha-Boom!"** Creator/DanSchneider does this so often in general that the trope could easily be renamed "Schneiderism" in his honor. In addition to ''iCarly'', ''Series/{{Victorious}}'' has given us such gems as Jade being a "gank" to Beck, Sikowitz exclaiming "What the hairballs?" in one episode, etc.* ''[[Series/{{Blackadder}} Blackadder Goes Forth]]'' had several moments, most notably when George's euphemisms for "dying" get more and more out of hand, eventually {{Lampshaded}}.-->'''George''': Well, uh, Jocko and the Badger bought it at the first Ypres, unfortunately. Quite a shock, that. I remember Bumfluff's housemaster wrote and told me that Sticky'd been out for a duck, and the Gubber had snitched a parcel sausage-end and gone goose-over-stump frogside.-->'''Blackadder''': ''Meaning?''-->'''George''': I don't know, sir, but I read in ''The Times'' that they'd both been killed.-->'''Blackadder''': And Bumfluff himself?-->'''George''': Copped a packet at Gallipolli with the Aussies. So did Drippy and Strangely Brown.* ''Series/ElChavoDelOcho'', ''Series/ElChapulinColorado'' and all Chespirito's works including "Chanfle" (Scurl) as any kind of profanity becoming so famous that this use is spread more, over its original soccer meaning .* The most celebrated UnusualEuphemism is the "Master of your Domain" episode of ''Series/{{Seinfeld}}'', where the characters have a masturbation contest (who can go the longest without) without once using the word "masturbation".** This was because NBC censors wouldn't allow the show to say the word "masturbation," and thus, a pop culture reference is born.** At the Hamptons, Jerry and Kramer are stunned at George's date matter-of-factly going topless. "Yo Yo Ma!"..."Boutros-Boutros Ghali!"* Chandler from ''Series/{{Friends}}'' once came up with the most brilliant example of an unsual euphenism, to describe a character who unknowingly has shorts so short that everyone in the room can see his penis - "The man is showing brain!"** Another instance of an unusual euphemism comes from Joey, when Phoebe acts on Days of Our Lives. The director can be kind of rough, so Joey replaced one of the words he used a lot with a nicer one, like, "puppy", as in, "If your puppy friend doesn't get her puppy act together, I'm gonna fire her mother-puppy ass."** The Ross fist-bump. Nothing more need be said.** Somehow subverted for laugh, in episodes where Ross gets his capuchin monkey, Marcel.--->'''Ross:''' I just thought we could go out to dinner, and then maybe bring her back to my place and I'd introduce her to my monkey.---> (surprised glance from the girls)--->'''Chandler:''' And he's not speaking metaphorically* ''Series/TheXFiles'':** The episode "Blood" has a hilarious example: A bus driver recounts the behavior of a passenger (a character being driven mad by chemicals and secret messages delivered by electronic devices):--->'''Bus Driver:''' Yeah, I picked him up. Drove four feet, then he went apewire.** In the episode "Jose Chung's ''From Outer Space''":--->'''Dana Scully:''' Well, of course he didn't actually say 'bleep', he said ---->'''Jose Chung:''' I'm familiar with Detective Manners' colourful... phraseology.--->and--->'''Detective Manners:''' Oh, you bet your blankety-blank bleep I am!--->as well as the mother of all quotes from that ep:--->'''Dana Scully:''' He says he's found your bleeping UFO.* A sketch on ''Series/TheState'' parodied this, in which a vulgar play was modified for broadcast tv, causing the dramatic tension to be lost in phrases like "Let's get milk faced and hum like rabbits!" This COULD be a reference to Film/AlienNation, as the Newcomers get intoxicated by drinking spoiled milk.-->''"Darn me to H-E-Double hockey sticks!"''* Music/FlightOfTheConchords** It's "Business Time"** BOOM BOOM BOOM** "Sugarlumps".** Not to mention "mutha'uckas" and "mother-flipping."* In ''Series/{{Firefly}}'', the characters would swear in (poorly pronounced) Mandarin, despite usually speaking English. Though, since more mundane phrases and some signs are also said/written in Mandarin, it's implied that the two share status as the official languages of humanity. The show also employed the real-but-obscure English curse words "gorram" (an out-of-use variation of "goddamn"), "rutting" (another word for "the deed," used adjectivally in the same manner as the most famous word you can't say on TV), and "humped" (ditto).** In a network that almost certainly wouldn't let them call someone a pussy, nor drop the c-bomb, a rogue cop managed to happily call a post office employee a quim. Archaic words rule!*** It's possible that they would have gotten away with it, but the episode in question ("The Message") was only included on the DVD and didn't actually air on TV.** "[[MistakenForGay You're not sly, are you? 'Cause I've got my boys...]]"* On ''Peachdale'', the young characters frequently use terms like "eff", "dee", and "waugh" to stand in for common expletives.* Elliot on ''Series/{{Scrubs}}'' refers to female genitalia as "bajingo", and related secretions as "icky-sticky". And then tries to become a gynecologist.** This is why Elliot ''didn't'' want to be a gynecologist. Her father wanted her to do it because she had the highest earning potential in that field, but as she told Carla...-->'''Elliot:''' I can't even look at my own bajingo!-->'''Carla:''' Is that because it looks so much like a vagina?-->'''[[SpitTake Elliot]]:''' Carla, there's people!** Elliot is also fond of the word "frick" (close to "fick", German for the F-Word), which she uses with great creativity. ("Frick on a stick with a brick!"; "Just put the motherfricking ring on the motherfricking finger! Frick, frick, frick!")* In ''Series/TheTenthKingdom'', the Trolls humorously use the phrase "Suck an Elf!" as an obscenity.** And later, "Sniff a sandal!" For some reason, they have quite the fascination with shoes...** Wolf commonly used the words "Huff Puff!" as profanity.* In ''Series/GreysAnatomy'', {{Media Watchdog}}s have forced the writers to try to avoid using the word "vagina" in a non-medical context; because of this, it has been referred to as "Va-jay-jay" and "my good girl". In a hospital, of all places.** [[LifeImitatesArt Curiously enough]], "vajayjay" is [[http://www.abc.net.au/tv/gruentransfer/episodes/2008_ad_index_Wednesday2July2008.htm becoming mainstream]]!* In the modern-age FairyTale SitCom, ''Series/TheCharmings'', Eric Charming gets Snow White a car for her birthday, although neither of them really understands how it works. One scene has their children running up to Snow after having watched their father work on the car. One of the children says to Snow that Eric became angry working on the car and yelled out "Fiddlesticks", whereupon Snow covers his mouth and admonishes, "The F-Word!"* In the 1980s ''Series/DegrassiJuniorHigh'', the kids use the phrase "broomhead" as if it was an incredibly vile expletive, only dished out when somebody is really, truly angry. There was a reason for the characters to use it as in insult (it's based on something that happens in the first few episodes), but this didn't stop it from [[{{Narm}} sounding silly]].* ''Series/OnlyFoolsAndHorses'':** "Plonker" apparently derives from a slang term for penis, which isn't used any more.** Slightly less often, "dipstick", which is a tool for measuring the oil levels in a car. The metaphorical meaning should be obvious.* ''Series/FatherTed'' got away with tossing the f-bomb all over the place by simply changing the word to "feck". That was enough to make its liberal usage completely okay.** ''Feck'' is in common usage in Ireland and is considered acceptably mild in comparison to the f-bomb.** The ironic thing is that, other than a minced vow for the obvious, it's also Irish slang that simply means "to throw", and coincidentally Esperanto for shit.** Another episode featured a public area with a no-cursing rule in place, so a group of people are forced to use substitutions to curse at Ted.** People with keen ears can also hear quite a few unedited curses in Father Ted, said by crowds. One notable example that always gets me rolling is about 20mins into Season 3, Episode 2 "Chirpy Chirpy Cheap Sheep" (Right after Father Ted says "Hud Hastings". I'll let you listen to it and tell me whether I'm crazy or not.)-->'''Frank:''' Fup off, you grasshole!** The f-word is considered pretty grave in the ''Father Ted'' universe. As Mrs. Doyle commented with regards to the works of a visiting novelist, "And of course the F-word father, the bad F-word. Worse then Feck. You know the one I mean." Also, wall-to-wall ''bastards''.** According to the ''Official TabletopGame/{{Scrabble}} Players Dictionary'', 'feck' means 'value', hence the derivative 'feckless', or 'worthless'. Therefore, I can use it as a swearword and say, 'It means value!'* ''Series/ThirtyRock'' with "Blurgh" and "By the hammer of Thor!" The writers have tried to develop these terms as {{Catch Phrase}}s as well.* Doug Heffernan on ''Series/TheKingOfQueens'' occasionally says things like "Son of a mother!" and "Mother of ass!"* ''Series/{{Cheers}}'' has plenty of this. One example:-->'''Diane''': (to Sam) '''YOU''' are a ''sand flea''!** Lampshaded with misunderstanding in this exchange:--->'''Fraiser:''' I'm off to use the "little boy's room".--->'''Lillith:''' Why does a grown man feel the need to euphemise?--->'''Woody:''' Well, he did drink that beer awfully fast.* ''Series/HowIMetYourMother'' justified the use of the word "grinch" as an UnusualEuphemism for [[spoiler:cunt]] because TheNarrator is simply retelling the story to his kids. In a different episode, we even see a Visual Euphemism: all references to (we assume) marijuana were replaced with sandwiches, so we see the characters getting high off of large subs. Another UnusualEuphemism is replacing "going to the bathroom to poop" with "reading a magazine". Lampshaded later in the episode when Barney uses the euphemism, taking a guess at what it means:-->'''Barney:''' For the record, "reading a magazine" means masturbating, right?** And [[Film/LethalWeapon "I'm too old for this shit."]] being replaced by "I'm too old for this stuff."** Ted's annoyingly loud neighbours "play the bagpipes" rather too often. (And we do hear bagpipes.)-->'''Ted''': Shut the bagpipes up!** And thumbs-up takes the place of the middle finger.** And "kiss" as a euphemism for [[spoiler:fuck]].*** Also, "holding hands". We also see Robin "catch" Lily and Marshall sitting in a bathroom stall holding hands.-->'''Marshall:''' I'm gonna hold your hand so hard you won't be able to shake hands for a week.*** Although that last case was past Ted, bowdlerising a story in order to persuade Marshall to stop interfering with the stories he wants to tell in his best man speech.** Subverted when Ted decides to "take the horn back to the bistro".-->'''Robin:''' I'm too tired.-->'''Ted:''' That wasn't a euphemism.** Absolutely heartbreakingly deconstructed with [[spoiler:"pole-vaulter" in place of "mother".]]** And of course, defecating is "[[PlaceWorseThanDeath taking a wicked New Jersey]]."** Holy confetti!* A character from ''Series/{{Neighbours}}'' used "Belgium" as an expletive, an obvious ShoutOut to ''Franchise/TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy'' (see below). The same character had a ''library'' of unusual euphemisms.* On early episodes of ''Series/FullHouse'', D.J. calls Stephanie "nerdbomber", "geekburger", and "double geekburger with cheese".** On one episode of ''Full House'', Joey told Michelle that newlyweds Jesse and Becky haven't been able to play with her lately because [[GRatedSex they're "doing their taxes]]".-->'''Michelle''': Are they going to be doing their taxes EVERY NIGHT?-->'''Joey''': For the first few months, yes.* The "Chemist Shop" sketch on ''Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus'' included a list of slang words, mostly anatomical, that the censors who interrupt the sketch request not to be repeated. [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking The last word on the list is "Semprini"]]. What's a Semprini? If it isn't [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Semprini this dude]], nobody knows just what, except that the (fictional) censors don't want to hear about it.** It is that dude. Semprini had a radio program of "light music" whose last years overlapped with ''Monty Python'''s run, and also wrote a lot of it. By the time of ''Monty Python,'' "light music" was a DeadHorseGenre. It would be like using "Lawrence Welk" as a swearword - or, for more modern swearwords, "Yanni" or "Kenny G."** Several euphemisms are also used in the Monty Python skit "[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jT3_UCm1A5I Nudge Nudge]]".** "You're not suggesting we should tax...thingy?"* The Goa'uld of ''Series/StargateSG1'' consider Jack O'Neill a "pain in the ''mikta''":--->'''O'Neill:''' Neck?--->'''Teal'c:''' No.* ''Series/WhoseLineIsItAnyway'' featured a game called "If You Know What I Mean" where the players spoke entirely in unusual euphemisms, usually meant to be sexual. Usually nonsensical.** Lampshaded in that Ryan once responded with "No, I don't know what you mean."** Another has Colin ending the game with a deadpan "I'm going to go to the bathroom."* On one episode of ''Series/MurphyBrown'', Corky had to read her diary in court. On one entry she uses the word "bleeping", and the judge advises her to read the entry as written. Corky then points out that she indeed wrote "bleeping" in the diary.* There's an episode of ''Series/{{House}}'' where a young girl discovers masturbation, and her mother thinks she's having seizures and brings her in. House uses several movie titles as euphemisms, apparently just to annoy the mother:--->'''House:''' You know, ya-ya-ing the sisterhood? ''Finding Nemo?''** In another episode, the patient is obviously in the mob, and House needs to find out what drugs he was dealing. However, since his associate will only claim they work in "textiles," House has to ask in code: Hosiery, with an "H"? Culottes with a "C," answers the mobster, and for the rest of the conversation they discuss culottes.--->'''House:''' Does your friend cut the fabric? He must cut a culotte here and there.--->'''Eddie:''' ''No one touches the culottes.''* ''Series/TheMiddleman'' uses "Code 86" for sex, named for the protocol a Middleman has to invoke to get even a moment of privacy from their round-the-clock surveillance. The Middleman himself uses a wide variety of creative replacement words and expressions for swearing (while other characters swear quite frequently, with the audio removed and a black rectangle covering their mouths).** In one episode, the Middleman exclaims "Ghosts of the living!" Considering that the case of the episode involved the presence of the departed spirits of people who seemed to still be alive and walking about, Wendy questions whether he's using a colorful phrase or describing the situation.** In one episode, a previous Middleman questions the current Middleman's unsual euphemisms, to which Wendy explains that "it's just a friendly way of saying (her word is bleeped and blocked with a black rectangle)".* ''The Armstrong and Miller Show'' had a sketch dedicated to this, featuring two men who decide on the words for the dictionary of a predictive text message dictionary. A notable inclusion: pigt (the abbreviation of the human gene coding for phosphatidylinositol).* On an episode of ''Series/{{Ellen}}'', Paige Clark (Joely Fisher) used "go camping" as a euphemism for "have sex", as in "I want to go camping!"* Colonel Potter of ''Series/{{MASH}}'' fame is known for having a wide range of these.** Among the long, LONG list: "What in the name of Sam Hill?", "Horse Hockey!" ("Hockey" being an [[CurseOfTheAncients archaic American southern colloquialism]] for manure) , "Great Ceasar's Ghost" (which is probably a nod to Franchise/{{Superman}}'s Perry White)* His predecessor, Henry Blake, would occasionally come up with some goodies, too. (Entering a tent on a cold, windy night: "Hoo, boy! Better keep the brass monkeys in tonight!")** This is in fact a reference to the somewhat well known (at the time) idiom, "Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey." ''This'', however is an unusual euphemism.* ''Series/GossipGirl'' has come up with a few quite creative ones, like "[[{{Spoonerism}} fustercluck]]," "Bass-hole," and "Oh my effing god."** "Motherchucker."* One of the earliest examples is 1970s British sit-com ''Porridge''. Being set in a prison, the writers invented the word "Naff" so thet the prisoners could swear on a family show. They also invented the word "Nerk" to be used as a personal slur - as in "Naff off, you nerk !"\\Since Royalty tend not to swear in real life, Princess Anne once famously had to resort to using "Naff Off!" herself. This made headlines at the time.** "Naff off" may have originated with ''Porridge'', but "naff" did not--it was well established in the theatrical and gay argot Polari long before, meaning "un-stylish" or "pathetic".** ''Series/TheTwoRonnies'', from which Porridge's lead actor was best known, was famed for its unusual euphemisms. Not least because in spite of not having heard them before you can tell what they're meant to refer to.* Another British sitcom, ''Series/AlloAllo'', inverted this quite creatively. The show was set in France and had a convention whereby they simulated French dialogue by having the actors speak English with thick French accents.\\One character was a British spy who couldn't speak French very well at all. They had him speak English, in a thick French accent, but get the English words slightly wrong in order to simulate mangled French (if you can follow that).\\Sometimes the writers chose mispronounced words that - if played straight - were actually outright swearing that would never have made it on to an early evening family show.\\Examples such as "I was ''pissing'' by the door when I heard two ''shats''." were common.** And my favorite: "I was just pissing by and decided to drip in"* "If your Colbert Report lasts more than half an hour, consult your physician." Thank you, Creator/StephenColbert - I am ''so'' using that.** On the November 9, 2010, episode of ''Series/TheColbertReport'', Cee Lo Green was the guest and wanted to perform his new single, but the profanity-laden chorus would've resulted in a bunch of bleeps interrupting his singing. After [[http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/365067/november-09-2010/cee-lo-green rejecting Stephen Colbert's previous suggestions of substituting "beef stew" or "kung fu"]], he settled on substituting "Creator/{{Fox News|Channel}}" for the performance.* Joel from TV's ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'' would often use "telling secrets" as a stand-in for sexual activity.** And in the insult category, we got "dickweed", an insult so common that [[http://www.mst3kinfo.com/ward_e/Listnick.html a fan list of nicknames characters gave each other]] refused to list it on the basis that "they are very numerous."* In an episode of ''Series/That70sShow'', Eric and Hyde use creative metaphors to refer Kelso's impotence: "the rabbit wouldn't come out of his hat", "the weasel wouldn't pop out" and "there's a lot of Amish people, but they never raised a barn".** Also on ''That '70s Show'', The cast regularly refer to each other as "Dillhole", obviously referring to the less euphemistic "hole" we all know they're really referring to.* ''Series/TopGear'': ** Various harm has come to the presenters' [[GroinAttack "wedding vegetables"]]. The "plums" and "gentleman's area" have likewise been endangered, and buying a flashy car is advertisement that one has a small "vegetable"** James May commented that it was difficult to help the [[GagBoobs buxom]] Madison Welch with her racing harness without touching "the work of the good Potter"** "I think I might be having a ''crisis''!" is also used when Jeremy Clarkson sees a particularly sexy car for the first time.[[note]]Which is itself a reference to ''Lady Chatterly's Lover''.[[/note]]** And you may not want to get [[TheAllegedCar Alfa Romeo]] tattooed on your "Gentleman's Sausage".* And now from the same presenters who brought you ''Top Gear'', ''Series/TheGrandTour'' has added "the magic triangle" when referring to a lady's, um... parts.* Shaun Micallef has taken the use of the word "freak" (and every conceivable variation upon) to something of an art form. When combined with the deliberately bad acting of his David [=McGhan=] sketches, this results in lines like this:-->"You call that justice? I call it freakin' of someone, entirely!"* In an episode of ''Series/{{Life}}'', Reese goes to interview a dentist/cover band rocker who has tallied off every single woman he's slept with (a lot) on his office wall. He asks her if he should "uncap the Sharpie." Her response: "No. You may not uncap the Sharpie." She continues to be horrified every time she sees or has to mention a Sharpie for the rest of the episode.** I think he actually meant a Sharpie as in a pen. He was probably tallying the numbers with said Sharpie.** It's still a pretty blatant DoubleEntendre that could easily be translated as a euphemism if that's how he keeps track of how often he gets to "Uncap his Sharpie".* A one-shot sketch on ''Series/{{MADtv}}'' featured an office worker talking to his coworker about a third employee, using bizarre euphemisms such as "He's a midnight golfer" and "He has a bowl of magic markers in his garage". The second man joins in, attempting to form his own nonsense euphemisms, which the third man overhears; he approaches the two and responds angrily to what was, according to the first and third workers, an insinuation that he was gay. It soon becomes apparent that the first man's euphamisms were intended -- and understood by the third man -- to be general compliments. The second man is utterly confounded by his coworkers' mutual understanding.* During the 1990s, ''Series/SportsCenter'' anchor Creator/KeithOlbermann would use the name "Gianluca Pagliuca" over video of an athlete or coach swearing. The basis was from ESPN's 1994 World Cup coverage where colleague Gary Miller [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEZLpf4BvvA kept tripping up over the Italian goalkeeper's name and blurted an expletive in disgust]]. "We'll spare you WHICH expletive".** "I can read his lips and he is not praying."* Several different ones were used throughout ''Series/XenaWarriorPrincess'', such as Xena calling Joxer a "son of a Bacchae."* Latka Gravas from ''Series/{{Taxi}}''. "yachtabe," ibida", "nik-nik"...* In the ''Series/{{Bones}}'' episode "The Double Death of the Dearly Departed", they replace they word 'murder' with 'translate' in order to disguise the meaning of their conversation. This leads to some hilarious quotes.-->"This man was translated!"-->"No evidence of translation."** Also, an earlier episode's use of "[[IsThatWhatTheyreCallingItNow take to the airport]]".** Snipers, according to Booth, call severing the spinal cord "disconnecting the computer". Which actually makes sense.* ''Series/MorkAndMindy'' with "Shazbot".* Or ''Series/SanfordAndSon'', with Redd Foxx's usual colorful language replaced by phrases such as "mother-father".** Actually, Redd Foxx's exclaimations of "Oh, mother-father" came from his 1990s CBS sitcom, ''The Royal Family''.* Combined with the constant EurekaMoment on ''Series/KrattsCreatures'': Ttark's exclamations of "Colliding Camels!", "Grazing Gazelles!", "Hopping Hadrosaurus!", etc.* A RunningGag on ''Series/TheLeagueOfGentlemen'' is Harvey's ever-horrifying collection of euphemisms for [[ADateWithRosiePalms masturbation]].-->...shaking frothy white coconuts from the veiny love-tree.* ''Series/TheSuiteLifeOnDeck'' with Bailey's "What the feathers?"* In ''Student Bodies'' the guys begin talking about all the girls they've "Been to Wonderland" with.* ''Series/DoctorWho'' spent most of an episode with Rose asking whether on not The Doctor ever "dances." At the end of the episode he then dances with both Rose and Jack. In a later episode he leaves Rose and Mickey alone while he goes off to dance with Madame De Pompadour. When Rose expresses surprise that humans have relationships with aliens she says something along the lines of "So we seek out alien species and--" "Dance." Not to mention every time it's said in that episode you can hear the air quotes. He also uses it when talking to Madame de Pompadour.** Another example comes from "Daleks in Manhattan," when 1930s chorus girl Tallulah thinks the Doctor is [[MistakenForGay "Into musical theater"]] when Martha says he hasn't noticed her crush on him.** Also in the original series, the Doctor famously tells someone to 'spack off', although it is hotly debated between fans whether this is really a swearword or whether he's just advising someone to back off.** In "The Pirate Planet," an original series episode, the Captain utters several odd oaths, including, "Moons of Madness!" and my personal favorite, "By the left frontal lobe of the Sky Demon!"** HotterAndSexier SpinOff ''Series/{{Torchwood}}'' is not known for bothering with euphemisms. But when Martha shows up and [[ShipperOnDeck delightedly questions Ianto about his relationship with Jack]], we get this gem:--->'''Ianto:''' We... dabble.--->'''Martha:''' (grinning delightedly) So what's his... dabbling like?** In the series 7 finale, when Clara informs The Doctor that the Maitland kids have duped him and gone to the cinema, leaving him alone to play Blind Man's Bluff, he huffs, "The little... Daleks!"* ''Series/HannahMontana'': In the first season, Lilly sometimes insulted Oliver by calling him "donut," which was probably a euphemism for "asshole."** The main character's catchphrase, "Sweet Niblets!", is one.* Vyvyan of ''Series/TheYoungOnes'' may have ''invented'' one of these, in the course of being snarky:--->'''Neil's Father''': Felicity Kendal is a wonderful woman, and I want to protect her.--->'''Vyvyan''': Well, it's the first time I've ever heard it called ''that''.* On ''Series/{{Skins}}'', Series 2, episode 5, Chris uses a rather fabulous string of normal words in place of swear words when talking to his career counselor. When he's done, she comments that he may have let a swear slip in. He apologizes and immediately comes up with a different word.* In ''Series/GetALife'', Chris starts hanging out with construction workers fixing the family home. They all shout typical rude suggestions at a passing young woman - Chris chimes in "Yeah! ''Eat'' that cheese, lady!", she turns around, walks up to him, and knees him hard in the groin.* ''Series/{{Chuck}}'' has the line "Oh, Chuck me."* ''Series/BetterOffTed'' has a meeting about a new bomb; since Ted's nanny is sick, his daughter came to work with him so they need to talk about it euphemistically.-->'''Phil''': Next, we looked at what would happen if we dropped the... bunny from an airplane at 30,000 feet. At that altitude, the bunny would... cuddle everyone within a two-mile radius. Within four miles, people would be... snuggled so badly they would have to be hospitalized with severe burns.\\'''Linda''': And that's why bunnies make bad pets. The end.\\'''Ted''': Thank you, everyone. For those of you not sure what's happening, we'll have this meeting again tomorrow.* ''Series/{{Monk}}'' uses "BM" (short for "bowel movement") for "shit" and "haul bottom" for "haul ass".* [[Series/{{Moonlighting}} Maddie Hayes]], to put it simply, never agrees with David Addison on ''anything'', and she doesn't give a "flying fig" what he thinks. In the episode where the phrase appears, David says he doesn't know what it means, with Maddie [[LampshadeHanging pointing out that "we" (as in the viewers) do]].* An ''Series/{{NCIS}}'' episode has Gibbs bringing Abby (who MustHaveCaffeine) an extra-small Caf-Pow because that's all that was available. Her response: "What the bio-hazardous material is ''this''?"** Also, when a probie has his fly down, Gibbs informs him "The Buick's out of the garage."* ''Series/TheBorgias'': "Invading France."* On ''What About Brian'', Dave and Deena are discussing their newly open marriage, but they realize their young daughters can hear -- so they start talking about the "open ... milk." There follows an extended conversation that ends up on the subject of the guy Deena ''didn't'' sleep with, a tantric yoga instructor:--> '''Deena:''' I heard he can drink milk for five hours without finishing the carton.--> '''Dave:''' Wow. That sounds ... painful.* In the ''Series/{{Community}}'' episode "[[Recap/CommunityS2E10MixologyCertification Mixology Certification]]" Britta excuses herself at the bar to "go see a woman about the female equivalent of a horse".* ''Series/GameOfThrones'':** The show features Tyrion giving a flurry of metaphors for masturbation in quick succession. "I made the bald man cry!"** And then there's Olenna Tyrell shruggingly admitting Loras' sexuality by telling Tywin that he is indeed a 'sword-swallower' through and through.** According to Davos, Jon spends a lot of time looking at Daenerys' "[[MyEyesAreUpHere good heart]]".** Although most curses are in modern English, from time to time characters will reference the FantasyPantheon with curses like "Seven Hells!"* ''Series/TheNewlywedGame'' famously used "making whoopie" as a term for intercourse, though contestants sometimes slipped words out, so they also made use of a distinct "cuckoo" SoundEffectBleep.* ''Series/TheDukesOfHazzard'' had Sheriff Rosco and his deputies occasionally use colorful but clean exclamations for a bad situation. Enos used, "Possum on a gum bush!" in his days, Cletus tended to say, "Buzzards on a buzz saw!", even Sheriff Rosco occasionally resorted to saying, "Judas priest on a pony!"* Most characters in ''Series/{{Supernatural}}'' don't bother with this and just say 'bitch' or 'son of a bitch', but Bobby called the protagonists 'idjits' on a few occasions. Also, Crowley had this fun moment:--> '''Crowley:''' My new boss is gonna kill me for even talking to you lot.-->'''Sam:''' Wait, what new boss?-->'''Crowley''': Castiel, you giraffe.** Or Cas' unusual insult from 'Swan Song'.-->'''Castiel''': Hey! Assbutt!** In an early episode of season five, Dean asks an embarrassed Castiel if he's never done a little "[[IsThatWhatTheyreCallingItNow cloud-seeding]]."* In ''Series/{{Sherlock}}'', Irene's occupation is referred to as [[{{Dominatrix}} "Recreational Scolding"]]* In ''Series/TheBigBangTheory'', the common replacement is [[Franchise/BattlestarGalactica 'frack']].** We also occasionally get the word 'shit' replaced with the fairly innoffensive 'crap,' such as 'batcrap crazy' (instead of 'batshit') or 'holy crap on a cracker' (instead of 'shit on a shingle'). Also somtimes lampshaded, as when Sheldon quotes Leonard as saying 'Ask Penny, it was her cockamamie idea.' When Penny asks about this, Sheldon admits he was paraphrasing, as having been brought up in a Christian home he's uncomfortable with the language Leonard used. ** Another case (in addition to GettingCrapPastTheRadar) had Penny saying (to Sheldon) "You're just 'coitusing' with me now, aren't you?"* In what is possibly a parody, Hugo on ''Series/TheVicarOfDibley'' switched a letter when he described to Geraldine his father's reaction to Hugo saying he's in love with [[DumbBlonde Alice]]:--> '''Hugo:''' He asked me what the duck I was playing at. He said he didn't give a flying duck if I ducking loved Alice ducking Tinker, and if I ducking kissed her again, he'd make sure that I was well and truly ducked.\\'''Geraldine:''' Well, duck me.** In a later episode, Alice describes having sex with Hugo as "playing the odd round of Hide the Purple Parsnip".* In the ''Series/QuantumLeap'' episode "Dr. Ruth", Al has trouble saying the word "breasts" and runs through a list of euphemisms; casabas, melons, ho-has, honkers, hooters, headlights, ta-tas, teeters, tweeters, tom-toms, tee-tees, meatballs, mangoes, cream pies, cupcakes, bangers, bouncers, bolumbas & bazongas.** Throughout the entire series, Al uses "nozzle" as a general-use insult.* On the ABC sketch comedy show ''Fridays,'' during the fake news report (The Friday Edition), a "new swear-word" was reported. The people of the town where it was originated were so disgusted with it, they wouldn't even allow the boy who thought it up to tell the news reporter. When it was finally revealed, the word was "Karkfum," which on the next attempt to say, was bleeped over by the network censors.* Subverted in ''Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer'' on a couple of occasions when someone would swear by saying "Oh penis!"* In ''Series/TheFreshPrinceOfBelAir'', Will's aunt shows up with a fiance who is unexpectedly white. The various adults discuss their surprise seizing on the fact that he is "tall" in order to avoid sounding prejudiced to their kids. They are quick to say [[NotThatTheresAnythingWrongWithThat they have no problem with "tall" people, though.]] Subverted when Will asks if they noticed he was white.* ''Series/ThatMitchellAndWebbLook'' parodied the science fiction variant with its "Vectron" sketch, where the whole thing turns out to be the result of in-universe MemeticMutation.* ''Series/{{Castle}}'': "Shut the front door". * One ''DrewCareysImprovAGanza'' game of "Sentences" (where audience members write down sentences that the performers later pull from their pockets and read at various moments) had a quasi-euphemism result from a sentence being incomplete. Jeff Davis reads the line "I'd like to have sex, but...". He pauses, then says bluntly to fellow actor Ryan Styles "I'd like to have sex-butt." From then on, "sex-butt" is used as if it were a euphemism for ''something'' sexual (most likely anal sex, of course).* From ''Series/{{Survivor}} Cook Islands'', the castaway Nate says that his alliance is going to successfully remove one of the opposition, by using the euphemism: "Chop'em up like poop".* Since ''Series/HorribleHistories'' is a family show, [[Radar/HorribleHistories despite what one might think]], UsefulNotes/CharlesII's love of mistresses is referred to as "breaking the wedding rules".** There's also UsefulNotes/HenryVIII's song about his wives, in which he says of UsefulNotes/AnneBoleyn "I said she flirted with some other man," a euphemism for accusing her of adultery with quite a few other men, including [[BrotherSisterIncest her own brother]]. Calling it flirting actually has the effect of making her death seem even more [[DisproportionateRetribution disproportionate.]]* In a scene from ''Series/GavinAndStacey'', Smithy asks Nessa "do you want that corn on the cob?", and it's immediately obvious what he's talking about. There follows extended negotiation, with both parties clinging rigidly to the metaphor.* In one episode of ''Series/{{QI}}'', Creator/StephenFry once referred to ''Film/TheDaVinciCode'' as "loose stool water" and "arse gravy of the worst kind." Alan Davies then suggested that "Loose Stool Water" sounded like [[AGoodNameForARockBand a good name for a blues singer.]]* Creator/VanKootenEnDeBie: The duo's comedy was very verbal and they enjoyed playing characters who used very complicated words and expressions. As presenters they also used formal language.* ''Series/YoureTheWorst'' has a conversation between Jimmy and Gretchen at the communal table of a restaurant about her period:-->'''Gretchen''': Shouldn't have told you about the Detroit Red Wings. How they're in town for a five-game series.-->'''Jimmy''': I don't know anything about sports. You mean, do you mean your period? Wait, did I do something wrong?-->'''Gretchen''': Yes! You were so weird about it. "See you in five days"?-->'''Jimmy''': How is that weird? When your...when the series is over and the Red Wings leave town to go and play more hockey elsewhere, the ice will be cleared to play on.-->'''Gretchen''': That's not the point. That's a dick move.-->'''Jimmy''': That's exactly the point. Look, if my favorite pinball game is out of order, I'm going to wait to come back to the arcade when it's working again.-->'''Gretchen''': There are other games!-->'''Jimmy''': Do you mean your butt?* ''Series/ItsAlwaysSunnyInPhiladelphia'': After Dennis being denied a chance to be the male model on the billboard:--> '''Mac''': 2003!Dennis, now he was prime beefcake. No one's disputing that he was a stallion. 2008!Dennis is in decline. Now look at Rex here. That is a body that just won't quit and [[AmbiguouslyGay I bet if you pop those pants off]], [[DoubleEntendre you'll find a bird that just won't quit either]] and I think that will come handy in this situation. I think the problem here is that your body quit, your bird quit, and unfortunately, it's no longer legit.--> '''Dennis''': ''(baffled)'' What the hell are you talking about? [[LampshadeHanging My bird?]]* ''Series/RipperStreet'', in the episode The King Came Calling, two dead men may have "played backgammon" together.* ''Film/WhenImSixtyFour'': "`oofter" for "gay", which derives from Cockney rhyming slang for "poof".* ''Series/DrQuinnMedicineWoman''. After rescuing Dr. Mike from the gang of dog soldiers who kidnapped her, paramour Sully gently asks her "Did they hurt you?". Just as gently and much to his relief, she tells him "no". Given that "hurt" was frequently used as a euphemism for "rape" back in those days, it's strongly implied that this is really what he was asking her about.* In the premiere of the third season of ''Series/TheMentalist'', "Red Sky At Night," Teresa Lisbon comes up with "Oh, sheepdip!" after Patrick Jane tries to make her play guessing games about his latest wacky plan. Then, she stalks off in a huff.-->'''Jane''': So I take it you don't wanna hear my plan. (''to himself, as Lisbon'') "No, I don't wanna hear your plan. Sheepdip your plan."* On ''Series/CrazyExGirlfriend'', Paula calls sex "smashing your butterfly." After Rebecca insists that nobody is "smashing her butterfly," the show immediately cuts to her having sex with Greg and yelling, "Do it, Greg, smash my butterfly!" After the sex, Greg then thinks of some more euphemisms, like "Flambe your cockatoo."* According to pre-release promos, this appears to be [[EnforcedTrope Enforced]] in ''Series/TheGoodPlace'', where attempts to curse are turned into similar sounding yet completely inoffensive words.-->'''Eleanor''': Someone seriously Forked up! Why can't I say Forked?"-->'''Chidi''': If you're trying to curse, you can't here.-->'''Eleanor''': Well, that's bull-shirt!----