Timo's Tall Tales

Well, it seems breakfast and supper are served an hour late around here now. Are they allowed to do that? Change the serving times on us like that? I need to find my contract and see if that is in there. You know that we all sign a contract before moving in with our humans, right? I think I signed mine when I was at the white coats a long time ago. I remember they had some paperwork out just before I fell asleep and some human was holding my paw too. So I guess I must have signed it. This was when I lost my front claws and I think I lost something else too. I just remember feeling different when I woke up. Not bad, just different. Calmer around girlcats for sure.

Anyway, back to my contract. If I remember correctly – and I might have dreamed this - the contract says that I, a cat, am to provide to the human(s):
• Warmth and snuggles when needed
• Comfort and purrs as much as needed
• Headbonks
• A listening ear when needed
• A happy disposition always
• I agreed to use my teeth and claws sparingly and never to cause any serious injury.
• I agreed to listen to whatever name the human chooses to call me.
• I am to allow the human to call me all kinds of cute pet names (*shudder* why is that in there).

In return the human will provide to me:
• Food as much as needed
• A warm place to sleep
• A litter box
• Protection from danger
• Healthcare
• Belly rubs and chin scritches on command
• Reasonable amount of playtime
• Will always look out for my best interests and never, ever abandon me, even when I’m old.

I think I had them put that last clause in there because the last humans I had, before this Mom, they actually abandoned me when they had to move. I think this is a pretty good contract. The woofers usually have more complicated contracts. They have to do all kinds of stuff. Now I need to find my contract and see if there are set food serving times in the fine print.

I gots a contract from the place that adopted me that my parents signed when they took me home, but I like this one. I might try to get mommy to sign this one too, can never have too many! Although... mommy would never abandon or overlook me, I'm her baby boys!