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The Week in Celebrity Fashion, Part 2

Get through your day with a healthy dose of judgment.

NAOMI WATTS at the New York Film Festival gown by Gucci Première

Photo: Jim Spellman/WireImage

This is exquisite. I am strongly considering getting married in (a cheaper knock-off of) this dress. The sleeves have that old-Hollywood, 1920s-romantic feel that I adore, and that slightly silvery pale gray is just an overwhelmingly beautiful color. I’m in heaven.

NAOMI WATTS in New York City dress by Elie Saab, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Ray Tamarra/GC

It’s impressive that Naomi Watts is managing to be the most adorable thing in this photo, because that anorexic little dog is SO FUCKING CUTE. But not as cute as Naomi’s epic pink dress/gray coat combo. I’m a sucker for a pink-gray or blue-gray combo. It just always does it for me.

EMMA STONE at the New York Film Festival dress by Jason Wu, shoes by Aquazzura

Photo: Marion Curtis/Startraks

UBER, MEGA, CRAZY FUCKING FABULOUS. It only missed the top spot because Naomi is wearing my future wedding gown. But this is all the best things about Emma Stone – fun, funky, but with a touch of vintage glam. These shades of green are too cool, the draping is gorgeous, and the sleeves must be SUPER fun to make windmill motions with.

EMMA STONE in New York City jacket and skirt by Roland Mouret

Photo: Amanda Schwab/Startraks

The perfect photocall/press conference/casual luncheon look for a celebrity. Sharp yet easy-going; cool but not fussy.

This color is just bringing so much joy into my life right now. Could I have one of everything in this exact shade of mint-green-meets-Tiffany-blue? Also, when exactly did Lizzy Caplan make the transition from “that badass Mean Girls chick” to “fashionista extraordinaire?” It’s definitely an impressive transformation.

EMMY ROSSUM in New York City dress by Monique Lhuillier

Photo: Ray Tamarra/GC

Emmy must have taken my advice and fired her terrible makeup artist! Honestly, it was a necessary move. She was running around looking like the worst parts of the late 90s exploded all over her face. Also, this dress is basically the required uniform for young, cool celebrities. And the shoes are fantastic.

Zoe Saldana is (allegedly) pregnant with twins, so she gets to wear literally whatever the fuck she wants for the next few months. She can wrap herself in a silk red pillowcase and say, “I’m red carpet ready, motherfuckers,” and I will applaud her for it. Because if I were in my third trimester with two babies in me, there is no fucking way I’d be able to haul my ass off the couch and make it to all these contractually-obligated promotional events. More power to you, Zoe.

JAMIE CHUNG at New York Comic-Con top and skirt by Tanya Taylor, shoes by Stuart Weitzman

Photo: Stephen Lovekin/Getty

Adorable. Very Taylor Swiftian. And that’s actually a compliment. Also, a solid use of the ubiquitous Stuart Weitzman “Nudist” sandal, which has been worn by a celebrity pretty much every day for the last six months. But that simple strappy sandal works particularly well here.

KATE MARA in London dress by J. Mendel, purse and shoes by Jimmy Choo

Photo: David M. Benett/Getty

She needs a necklace or a bracelet to make her look less naked. This is an adorable dress, but I can just feel Cher Horowitz’s father yelling, “It looks like underwear!” Anyway, that chartreuse color is particularly difficult for a light-skinned lady to pull off, so kudos to Kate for making it work.

Mary Katrantzou has had a solid red carpet presence for the last couple of years. I still don’t totally understand why. Aubrey is making this particular dress work, based solely on her particular brand of weird-girl-sexiness, but 99% of the label’s prints are hideous. I feel like I spend half my days staring into Mary Katrantzou patterns, counting how many abstract penises I can find.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE at the London Film Festival dress by Christian Dior, shoes by Brian Atwood

Photo: Stuart C. Wilson/Getty

There’s nothing wrong with this look, and girl looks sexy as hell. But you cannot expect me to get worked up over a Dior coat-dress when this is basically the only thing anyone in the universe wears anymore, including Jennifer. (See also: Emma Watson, Zhang Ziyi, Kirsten Dunst, Leelee Sobieski… seriously, Dior coat-dresses are great, but it’s enough already.)

KIERNAN SHIPKA in Los Angeles dress by Chris Gelinas

Photo: Frederick M. Brown/Getty

Can something be too youthful for a fourteen-year-old? Maybe I’m just so used to Kiernan looking wise/stylist beyond her years that this feels kind of jarringly youthful to me. I still like it, I just think she suddenly looks like a little kid again, and it caught me off guard. Because I don’t like remembering that my personal style icon is actually a child.

VIOLA DAVIS in Los Angeles dress by Escada

Photo: John Shearer/Invision/AP

Lose the done-to-death platform pumps and the wig, and this would be fantastic.

Why? Why on earth would you choose to wear those Barbie pink shoes with an orange-red dress – particularly when you have ginger hair? What good could possibly come of this?

NATALIE DORMER in Los Angeles dress by House of Holland

Photo: Frederick M. Brown/Getty

As a nerd, I want to support anyone who’s in both Game of Thrones and The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, but I can’t even pretend to be okay with those shoes.The dress has more than enough going on – maybe even too much – and the clunky sandals and black toenail polish are just distracting.

NATALIE PORTMAN in Los Angeles gown and purse by Christian Dior

Photo: Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic

I want to like this, but how many times in the eight thousand years Natalie has been on the red carpet has she worn this gown? A billion? Again, loving Dior is not a crime, but girlfriend desperately needs to switch up her style a little bit.

NICOLE RICHIE in Los Angeles gown by Blumarine

Photo: Jason LaVeris/FilmMagic

You know me, dear readers. I love when celebrities take risks and give me something to really talk about. I applaud surprising prints (well, unless they’re Mary Katrantzou) and interesting textures and altogether unexpected things. But sometimes, a surprising, interesting, unexpected dress is also just butt-ugly. This is that dress.

SARAH JESSICA PARKER in New York City dress by Elie Saab, shoes by SJP

Photo: Walter McBride/Getty

This is the worst thing I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen Sex and the City 2, so that’s saying something.

4 responses to The Week in Celebrity Fashion, Part 2

Kiernan Shipka’s dress looks like she’s either ten years too old to wear it, or like maternity wear. And I can’t quite decide which… Something about the way it sits just makes it look like she should have a huge pregnant belly going on. Speaking of which, I do NOT know how Zoe Saldana is still wearing heels and fancy dresses on the red carpet on the regular. Hella impressive.