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Boston Marathon Bombings: Helping Others Is a Way to Heal

The bombings and chaos at the Boston Marathon yesterday brought a sense of déjà vu, reminding us of the tragedy of September 11, 2001. Experts say helping others is the best way to help yourself heal from the trauma.

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TUESDAY, April 16, 2013 — Our country must once again cope with a disaster of heartbreaking proportions. Yet, again, we have an opportunity to reach out and help others and, in doing so, help ourselves.

Whenever a disaster strikes close to home it makes us feel vulnerable and unsafe. Adding to worries about personal safety and the safety of your family is overexposure to news media that runs the same frightening images over and over. People become hyper-aware of everything going on around them, and they can become anxiety-ridden simply carrying out everyday tasks — going to work, shopping for food, or attending social events.

Experts say that rather than get lost in ruminating thoughts and fear, be proactive. The best medicine at a time like this is to help.

On the Today show this morning, U.S. Attorney Carmen Ortiz said, "It was amazing to see the people of Boston and around the world help each other." News outlets are reporting many random acts of kindness among local Bostonians who reached out to the runners participating in the marathon, letting them into their homes to make phone calls and use computers, since the runners weren't allowed to carry anything with them during the race. And there were countless local heroes who responded to the crisis by helping the injured and giving a hand. In the aftermath of the bombings, people may find a sense of peace in giving to others.

“When you’re watching it on TV and you see the horror unfolding yet again, there’s a feeling of helplessness,” said Sherry Amatenstein, LCSW, a New York City clinical therapist and author who recently volunteered during Hurricane Sandy. “You feel at the mercy of life, happenstance, and tragedy. You can’t stop the tragedy, unfortunately — that’s not something we are capable of — but you can do something to make it better for those who have gone through it.”

One way people can help is to jump in and serve as part of an organized effort — such as volunteering for the Red Cross — or as part of a community effort, such as a drive to collect money or goods for those affected most by the tragedy. If you live far away, you can participate in groups online or help raise money. You can also help by sharing on the Internet the positive and heroic stories that come out of the disaster.

“If you say, 'I can do something about it,’ you’re being proactive, and you're reaching out on a person-to-person level, too,” said Amatenstein. “And every drop of humanity helps combat horror and hell.”

Amatenstein’s own building in New York was in an evacuation zone during Hurricane Sandy. She stayed, along with many neighbors, only to be stranded there by floods. But as soon as the water retreated, she headed for other areas of New York to volunteer to help people hardest hit.

Janet Taylor, M.D., MPH, a Community Psychiatrist in New York City and a Clinical Instructor of Psychiatry at Harlem Hospital, said that one of the ways to ward off trauma and extreme anxiety is to acknowledge your feelings, recognize that you are safe, and focus on what you have to be thankful for.

“Think of it this way: I’m in New York City in a highrise or in my home, and thankfully safe right now,” said Taylor. “Instead of being fearful, let me be grateful for that — but also mindful of the suffering that people have been through. So it really is about recognizing how you’re feeling, what you’re thinking about, what’s getting triggered. And then assessing what you need to do to be rational and calm down so that you don’t panic and you don’t isolate, so you in fact can take care of yourself and your family. And then do whatever you need to contribute — maybe say a prayer, send money to the Red Cross or whatever organization you support, or maybe organize something yourself. This will help to bring you to a center of peace. “

Amatenstein said empathy and showing a little love to others can go a long way in finding peace within and a deeper appreciation for your own life.

“One of the things that happens when I volunteer to help is when I do go back to my life I really appreciate life in a new way,” she said. “You can clearly see that somebody else always has a more difficult situation. Being taken out of myself and the problems that I obsess about — we all tend to do that — when you see other people who are really going through such horrible, random tragedies, it makes you look at your problems with fresh perspective. Everything is about perspective and how we view it.”

Psychologist Deborah Serani, PsyD, author of Living with Depression, agrees it is important to stay active, keep living your life, and to tune out the TV as much as possible. “Falling into passivity that often comes from feeling helpless in the face of trauma can worsen psychological and physical disaster reactions,’ she said. “Maintain your everyday routine. Consider joining efforts to collect donations for the Boston victims, first responders, and hospitals. Consider creating or signing petitions that match your interests. Take part in local community efforts that are meaningful to you.”

It also helps to remember that while “chaos” may be the new normal, there is still good in this world and we can contribute to it.

“There are more good and kind people in the world than those who are filled with hate and evil,” Serani said. “Though it seems like events like these are happening more and more, know that for every act of evil, there are millions of acts of kindness that never get seen or reported.”

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