Slow molasses drip under a tipped-up crescent moon.

Iowa’s Greatest Hits

Believe it or not, but Iowa exports a lot more than corn, soybeans, bacon and insurance adjusters. There’s also agricultural runoff, crazy caucus winners, items carried aloft by tornadoes, and lots of great music from the likes of Slipknot, Greg Brown, Slipknot, Bix Beiderbecke, Slipknot, Andy Williams, and Slipknot. Plus all the solo projects from the guys in Slipknot. And Slipknot.

There’s also a lot of music that the natives save for themselves, so as not to compete with the annual tax subsidy that every Iowan receives from sales of Slipknot merchandise outside the state. Here are some of the most popular songs that you’re likely to hear on AM radio (after your morning talk shows, of course) when driving from Cedar River Beaver Falls to Beaver Rapids Rock City and back.

“Punt, Sons of Iowa State,” by The Fourth and Fourteens.

“American Rye,” by The Templeton Cheats.

“Troubled Water Over Bridge,” by The Cedar Floods.

“Losing My Convention (Center),” by D.S.M.

“Send in the Clowns,” by Joni and the Teabags.

“Smells Like Green Shee-it,” by Kurt and the Confinements.

“Personal Hateful Jesus,” by The Vander Plaats.

“We’ve Lost that Governin’ Feeling,” by The Iowa Democratic Men’s Choir.

“Good Vibrations,” by The Towering Turbines.

“This Land is Our Land,” by The Farm Mortgage Four.

“(I Am Your) Steppin’ Stone,” by Braley, Appel, Mowrer, and Hatch.

“California Dreamin’,” by The Mamas and the Papas and the Grampas and the Grammas and the Kids and the Neighbors and Strangers and Me.