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A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. As they stand at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter Paradise and meet their maker, God decides to grant each person one wish because of the grief they have experienced.

They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.

The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too."
Another snap of His finger s and the wish is granted.

This goes on for a while with each one asking to be gorgeous, but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in the line starts laughing.

When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing his head off.

Finally, God reaches this last guy and asks him what his wish will be.
The guy eventually calms down and says:

A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. As they stand at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter Paradise and meet their maker, God decides to grant each person one wish because of the grief they have experienced.

They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.

The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too."
Another snap of His finger s and the wish is granted.

This goes on for a while with each one asking to be gorgeous, but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in the line starts laughing.

When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing his head off.

Finally, God reaches this last guy and asks him what his wish will be.
The guy eventually calms down and says:

the Obama government will start deporting all of the weird old people in order to lower Social Security and Medicare costs.I started crying - when I thought of you.RUN, YOU OLD FART, RUN!!!!!Well....what can I say....someone sent it to me,andI'm not going alone!!!!

the Obama government will start deporting all of the weird old people in order to lower Social Security and Medicare costs.I started crying - when I thought of you.RUN, YOU OLD FART, RUN!!!!!Well....what can I say....someone sent it to me,andI'm not going alone!!!!

A man seeking to join a south Texas Sheriff's Department is being
interviewed.

The Sergeant doing the interview says, "Your qualifications all look good,
but there is an attitude suitability test that you must take before you can
be accepted." Then, sliding a service pistol across the desk, he says,
"Take this pistol and go out and shoot six illegal aliens, six meth
dealers, six Muslim extremists and a rabbit."

"Why the rabbit?"

"That's the attitude we want," says the Sergeant. "When can you start?"

The only reason a beer sweats around Canada is because he's decided it will be the next beer he drinks.

A man seeking to join a south Texas Sheriff's Department is being
interviewed.

The Sergeant doing the interview says, "Your qualifications all look good,
but there is an attitude suitability test that you must take before you can
be accepted." Then, sliding a service pistol across the desk, he says,
"Take this pistol and go out and shoot six illegal aliens, six meth
dealers, six Muslim extremists and a rabbit."

"Why the rabbit?"

"That's the attitude we want," says the Sergeant. "When can you start?"

The boy considered for a moment. "You would have to talk to Pa about that," he finally conceded. "If it helps you any, I know that Pa charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the hog, but I really don't know how much he gets for Howard."

"A Nebraska Wife"Three men married wives from different states:The first man married a woman from Minnesota . He told her that she was to do the dishes andhouse cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.The second man married a woman from Wisconsin . He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and there was a huge dinner on the table.
The third man married a girl from Nebraska . He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher.