Romance Report for Sept. 30

Spencer Pratt says he's taking drastic measures to keep the stork away from procreation-minded and double-D-desiring wife Heidi Montag. "I'm not even kidding, my wife -- OK, I'm gonna get crass here -- but we're barely having sex because I'm scared that she's gonna have a baby," the flesh-color-bearded self-promoter tells the New York Post's PopWrap. "That's the level our marriage is on right now. I'm not even kidding -- my wife has me debating cutting off my [rhymes with ruts]." Spencer, 26, who unsuccessfully attempted to fend off 23-year-old Heidi's eagerness to be a young mom with an adorable puppy (times two), must feel pretty strongly about his anti-ankle-biter stance, because the unrepentant PR-meister is unwilling to entertain the idea of going the route of Kourtney Kardashian, whose knocking-up helped her steal the spotlight from her sisters (albeit briefly). His typically humble response: "Yes, but Speidi is Barack and Michelle famous, not Kardashian famous!"

Spencer Pratt says he's taking drastic measures to keep the stork away from procreation-minded and double-D-desiring wife Heidi Montag. "I'm not even kidding, my wife -- OK, I'm gonna get crass here -- but we're barely having sex because I'm scared that she's gonna have a baby," the flesh-color-bearded self-promoter tells the New York Post's PopWrap. "That's the level our marriage is on right now. I'm not even kidding -- my wife has me debating cutting off my [rhymes with ruts]." Spencer, 26, who unsuccessfully attempted to fend off 23-year-old Heidi's eagerness to be a young mom with an adorable puppy (times two), must feel pretty strongly about his anti-ankle-biter stance, because the unrepentant PR-meister is unwilling to entertain the idea of going the route of Kourtney Kardashian, whose knocking-up helped her steal the spotlight from her sisters (albeit briefly). His typically humble response: "Yes, but Speidi is Barack and Michelle famous, not Kardashian famous!"

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