Dr. Patti Taylor

Drs. Steve and Vera Bodansky

In this episode, Dr. Patti interviews Drs. Steve and Vera Bodansky, two the most celebrated teachers in our field. Steve and Vera teach Extended Massive Orgasm, or EMO, a hand-to-genital art and practice of giving extended orgasmic pleasure. Best-selling authors, presenters, and coaches, Steve and Vera share generously some of the inside information they give to their classes and private clients. With humor, heart, and details, details, details, the Bodanskys tell us what an Expanded Massive Orgasm is, and how to give one to your partner. You'll discover the three things Steve feels a giver should know starting out, while Vera tells us the three things anyone receiving an EMO should know. The Bodanskys reveal those inner qualities that, when mastered, shift your ordinary pleasuring into pleasuring that sends your partner into ecstasy. Learn why peaking, acknowledgment, relaxation, intention, and appreciation are keys to the heart of this practice. Find out Steve and Vera's recommendations on using EMO for erotic self-development, and their viewpoint on fantasy. Enjoy hearing what's possible in receiving coaching, as they bring one couple's coaching session to life. Finally, Steve and Vera offer sage and memorable parting advice.

Dr. Patti Taylor: Hi, this is Dr. Patti Taylor. We have an awesome show for you today. Find out why an extended orgasm maybe the most natural way to have an orgasm. Learn the secret to having your orgasms feel better. And find out how much you can do on your own.

Dr. Steve Bodansky: We were waiting for that in the end. It's like going to the symphony and listening to the last eight notes. This way you are listening to the whole movement, every nuance, every stroke, every touch, every bit of attention somebody is giving you, you can feel. It takes practice. Again, don't expect the first time out to be like...

It is like playing tennis. You are not going to be like Federer, Roger Federer. You are not going to be able to play like Roger Federer. You hit the ball back. The more you play, the more you practice, the better you get. It is a fun practice. It is not like hard work.

The best way to get intense orgasm is using your hands on your genitals. You have more control that way. It's like people saying, "Do you want a brain surgeon go in to your head with his hands, with his tongue, or his penis.

Patti: [laughs]

Steve: Yeah.

Patti: Welcome to the Expanded Lovemaking Show. I am your host Dr. Patti Taylor. And I teach people how to make love. Today, on the show, we are talking about experiencing quantum leaps in pleasure with extended massive orgasms. These are types of orgasms that are extended out pleasurably through time. And they feel really, really good to both the giver and the receiver. Our guest are Drs. Steve and Vera Bodansky. Students and teachers of sensuality and relationship for a combined total of over 50 years.

Welcome, Steve and Vera.

Steve: Hello, everybody.

Patti: Hi.

Dr. Vera Bodansky: Well, hi, it is great to have you here.

Dr. Steve and Vera Bodansky received doctorates in sensuality from Moore University in 1990. They have written several best-selling books on sensuality, including the "Illustrated Guide to Extended Massive Orgasm." They conduct workshops nationwide, and give private instruction from their home here in San Francisco. I am pleased to have you here with us today. I think our listeners will really appreciate how specifically you give people information on the art of extended massive orgasm.

Their book is full of illustrations. They tell people exactly where to go. It is so practical. Most people just haven't had a chance to really see a lot of detail and specific instructions. I love your book for that. And I also think it is great that I have you both here, so we get this really specific, practical information from two points of view, the man's and the woman's.

So, today, Steve and Vera are going to tell us what extended massive orgasms are, how to feel more pleasure; and how many people it takes to create an extended massive orgasm. You think that's a simple question. Well, maybe it is, and maybe it is an interesting one. Well, let's get started. So, what is an extended massive orgasm? Which you call an EMO, don't you?

Steve: Well we created an acronym, extended massive orgasm, from a course we did, which we called DEMO course. It is a demonstration of an extended massive orgasm. So these are the words for d-e-m and o. So that's how the word was created. We actually reached the acronym quite -- probably, because the orgasm is long, that's where the word extended, and massive, because it is intense.

It is really the natural way that anybody can get an orgasm. It is kind of like, you have TVs now, HDTVs. So you say, you have a TV, a HDTV. Still better, I can have an HDTV, just the TVs anymore, like they are outdated. And we think extended massive orgasm is something like the HDTVs. Everyone will be doing that.

We just think it is more natural, and is more feminine actually. Because most women and men base their orgasms on what they have seen other people do. What other people do is male ejaculation. So they think, orgasms equals to male ejaculation. It is not. It is just like the tip of an iceberg. So, an extended massive orgasm begins on or before the first stroke and continues the whole time somebody is putting tension on you, and stroking you.

Patti: I love that. When you say it is more natural because, my guess is that, people think, "Wow, an extended massive orgasm! I don't even know if I could handle having a intense orgasm for more than about 10 seconds, which is what the Masters and Johnsons people say is what a, "regular orgasm" is. I think most people have the conception that this is something that is out of the ordinary, and yet you are saying that this is our natural, something that is our natural birthright. Something one might be coming home to.

Steve: Yeah, I think the words are kind of scary, extended massive orgasm. But it is about feeling one stroke at a time. That's the way it gets to be extended. Most people have orgasms where they get stroked, and they get stroked and not even feeling the stroke. They are waiting to feel it, waiting for the ejaculation, waiting for that at the end.

It's like going to the symphony and listening to the last eight notes. This way you are listening to the whole movement, every nuance, every stroke, every touch, every bit of attention somebody is giving you, you can feel. Putting your attention on that and having two people putting their attention on one person at a time, is actually the way to create the most efficient and easiest way for somebody to have a great pleasurable orgasmic experience.

Vera: And that is exactly why we wrote the books, to show the people that this is available and that it is our birthright to have more and more sensation. It is not available to people who are restricted. So we wrote books, and now they are being translated into French and Chinese. In Spain, we were told that we were famous in Spain because of our writing, they are explicit.

We are explicit in exactly how to get there, one stroke at a time. And how to get it and not feel cheated. That you have to be a supernatural human being to have such an experience. And that's not true, because if you have nerve endings, you have the capacity to have more and more pleasure. And the more you practice, the more you teach experience, whatever you do, you can go higher and higher.

Steve: We did our demo, the demonstration course for one hour. Some people say, "I can't do that for an hour." We don't think you have to do it for one hour. It is just about having as much pleasure as you can for long as you are doing it. So if you do for five minutes and you are feeling extended massive pleasure for five minutes, that's like more than most people feel. Because most people feel more like 10 seconds or the few seconds just feeling the ejaculation.

The way to do it, is by relaxing your body, instead of tensing it up. The major thing is just getting into your head that it is possible. It is just like when the people believed that the earth was flat, they were afraid to go out into the ocean, because they would fall off the end of the earth. People might think that with orgasm, when they first hear about it. Once they see it or read about it, and then they can understand it better, and they say, "Hey, the earth is round. We can go for more."

Patti: So I would like to talk about this, how simple it is, and you are specific. Let me just talk about it from the point of view of, first the giver and then the receiver -- we will get right down to the brass tacks here -- what are some simple things that you would teach a person that was just beginning to learn extended massive orgasm? Can you call him over or would you just stick with the...

Steve: Oh, either way is fine.

Patti: Oh, great. What would be some simple things that someone just starting out, you would have them learn as the giver, maybe three things.

Steve: Well, first they have to have their attention on somebody else, not on themselves. At the same time, they have to feel their own body, and trust their feelings, and to also take pleasure in touching somebody, enjoy what they are doing. These are three important things. There are other things too. Like being playful, being curious, having fun.

Patti: OK, great. So I am now going to say for the receiver, maybe I will go to Vera for this. What are the three things you would do as the receiver, that you would coach a woman for receiving an extended massive orgasm, that she could start with, if she wanted to practice right now, and this is the first time she has ever tried?

Vera: It would be best for her to read our book, and find out that the main thing is to relax completely, and to show that her partner exactly where her spot is. And then just teach one stroke at a time. Rome wasn't built in a day. And to do it -- and sometimes you even have to take somebody's finger and put it on that spot -- and a lot of people are squeamish about these things. To relax and to say we are both scientists.

We are uncovering the possibilities of greater pleasure and sensuality; and to put it on a level of study, rather than some kind of a thing behind, you know, in the dark. [laughs]

Steve: Learn to communicate, specially how to appreciate, to communicate that. That's one of the most important thing for a woman to learn, to really just to enjoy what she is receiving and to acknowledge it to the person who is doing it to her. And that would like broaden her experience.

Vera: To talk, to communicate immediately. The talking part is very important. Any time you have a doubt or anything, or thinking of getting away, or your mind wanders, come back and communicate again. Communication is the most important thing in a relationship. To communicate what you feel, what you think. And to do it in a positive way. Not to say, "Oh, that was terrible."

You would say, "Would you please touch a little lighter." To communicate that way, instead of saying, "OH, THAT WAS..." Because the doer, the person creating the experience will get discouraged if they are being criticized too harshly. So it is always -- sometimes you have to say, "Oh, that was very, very nice. Will you please rub a little lighter." [laughs]

Steve: If it is the first time, not to expect to have it for a long time. Just go for a short time. Practice doing it a few times a day, for short periods, instead of one long, long period.

Patti: OK. Well let's say that someone's read your books, and listeners get all excited. They are like, "Wow, this is all natural. What a great concept! I am into reclaiming my natural orgasmic potential and going for more." They read your book. But they don't have a real role model. Maybe you could demonstrate for us, just auditorily, what might it sound like if you were pleasuring your partner. What might be a little bit of a soundtrack, we might hear in the day, as you are checking in with your partner.

Steve: You can get our demo video. That's the easy...

Patti: How about a little taste right here, now. Your video is fabulous too. Let's just whet their appetite.

Steve: Well the person who is doing it, giving the orgasm, be it the male or female, they want to actually report what is happening to the other person's body, and to communicate the pleasure they are receiving and to coax them to go higher. And the person receiving says, "That feels great. That feels wonderful. Keep doing that. I love what you are doing."

Something you wanted to change, and you would say, "That's great. A little bit to the left, that's even better. Wow, it feels great!" The other person saying, "OK, I am going to rub a little hard now. Is that all right with you? Or not?" Just ask questions like that. "Would you like it more to the left still?" And answer that way.

See, like your clitoris is getting engorged. Your whole vulva area is getting red, your ejaculates leaking out. So you report what is happening in the other persons body, and why you are doing it. And the person receiving it is acknowledging as much as they can. And once they train their partner to touch them, they don't have to keep telling them, because the partner will know.

In the beginning, you have to talk even more and be more specific with what they want, how they like it, to get the person to do it. People also change over time, so you always want to keep communicating. You always want to acknowledge the goods you are receiving, because that's probably the most important part.

Vera: There are 8,000 nerve endings in a woman's genitals. And 8,000 nerve endings, when they are not stimulated properly, could feel practically nothing. But if they are stroked and lubricant is very important. If they are not lubricating someone's fingertips, and to stroke and to wake up these 8,000 nerve endings. Men only have 4,000 nerve endings, and...

Steve: On the head of the penis.

Vera: On the head of the penis, that is. [laughs] It is important to stimulate and touch and start a whole new sensual life, if you will. It is wonderful. But it could be spoiled by mis-communication. But even spoiled, you can go back to it and fix it.

Steve: It takes practice. Again, don't expect the first time out to be like...

It is like playing tennis. You are not going to be like Federer, Roger Federer. You are not going to be able to play like Roger Federer. You hit the ball back. The more you play, the more you practice, the better you get. It is a fun practice. It is not like hard work. Don't see it as hard work. Fun is one of the most important part. Just have fun doing it. So it is more important than getting the exact technique right.

Patti: I love what you said about acknowledging the person who is the giver; also the giver acknowledging the person who is receiving. Because you are both, kind of vulnerable. Could you just tell a little bit about that? Because you are very inspiring and moving. Both of you talk about that. That's so beautiful you have inspired me and I am sure our listeners would love to hear.

Steve: Well both people acknowledge the pleasure they are receiving. If you are touching somebody, you are telling, your pussy, your clitoris feels so wonderful, feels really good touching it. You can feel the contractions. It makes me feel really good. It makes the person who is getting it done, "Wow! The person likes doing this!"

A lot of women think the guy is doing it, because they want something back in return. And if you can demonstrate that you are receiving pleasure from giving it, she can surrender more to you for those reasons. And you want her to surrender her pleasure to you. And to do that, you have to do whatever it takes, actually.

Vera: Well, most people's idea of sexual experience is in the dark; and he is on top, and he enters the vagina, and in 10 seconds, he is huffing, puffing, and he gets off, and rolls over; and he will turn to her and say, "Did you come?" And she will say, no matter what happens, she will say, "Yes, of course. It was great. You were wonderful."

And this is the only thing that people know, and it is very sad. Because when you start introducing something new to them, you have to be very cautious not to offend them, or upset them, or make them feel that you are degrading them or doing anything. That's why it is very important to take baby steps at a time, especially when you see resistance from somebody, saying, "Did you come?"

Steve: I don't want to add much. It is really hand to genital contact. I don't mention it before, but I want to emphasize that. You can have extended orgasms with intercourse. You can have extended orgasms with oral stimulation. However the most efficient, again and the best way to get intense orgasms, is using your hands on the genitals. Because you have more control that way. It's like people saying, "Do you want a brain surgeon go into your head with his hands, with his tongue, or his penis." I think, hands, is usually the answer.

Vera: Hands are the best.

Patti: Well, thank you. We are going to take a quick note to hear from our sponsors, on that lofty thought. Just want to say, getting done is another way of saying, pleasuring a woman, genitally, or man for that matter. You are talking to Drs. Steve and Vera Bodansky, who have written the "Illustrated Guide to Extended Massive Orgasm," and a number of other books. They have a...

Steve: "To Bed Or Not To Bed" is another one.

Vera: "To Bed Or Not To Bed" is their latest and greatest. They have a website, extendedmassiveorgasm.com. We will be right back, please stay with us.

[radio break}

Patti: We are back, and I am Dr. Patti Taylor. We were talking to Drs. Steve and Vera Bodansky, about extended massive orgasm. Before the break, we were talking about what is an extended massive orgasm.

I want to ask them now, how can a person who is showing orgasmic and pleasured, take it to the next level? So, is there any limit to how much pleasure someone can feel?

Steve: That's a good question, because I am sure there is a limit. But I don't think we found it yet. [laughter]

You can always feel more, but it is hard to measure how much, in comparison to yourself or somebody else. You start comparing like this feels better than last time, you are already not feeling, you are already into your head. And that's something you want to avoid doing actually, comparing. Compare it afterwards, maybe; but while you are in the experience, you don't want to be comparing.

Vera: Yes, comparing is kind of a killer of pleasure. If you start comparing which one was better, I really avoid measuring, because my whole attention and concentration is in the moment...

Steve: And feeling.

Vera: ... and feeling.

Patti: So that sounds like this could be a profound practice for a lot of people just to drop the comparison, from their mind. You asked us to get relaxed, to feel every stroke, to get present. I could see why you could learn this in a week, and take a lifetime to get real mastery in this.

Steve: It is like meditation, you know. You can meditate, but you get better at it, the more you do it.

Vera: That's right. Exactly.

Patti: There would be no limit, in that sense, to how deep you could go. Well let me ask you something, on the same note then. What if you are having a EMO session, an extended massive orgasm session with someone and they are just going along having a great time, and you are having a great time, would it be fair to think, "Well, we are having a great time, but I would like it to be even better."

Could you have it be great, and think, "Wow. I want to explode them. Maybe it is their anniversary, or I want it to be the best time in their life." Can you really find it right, yet you also want it to be ten times better than it is, and if so, how would you do that?

Steve: Well, again, you have to find it right the way it is, and appreciate that this is the best it is right now. You are enjoying as much as you can, and acknowledge all the pleasure you are feeling. If you acknowledge the pleasure you are feeling, it is like -- compare it to swallowing when you are eating.

If you are eating and you put food in your mouth, and it tastes really good. But if you don't swallow, it is difficult to keep putting food in your mouth. In the same way, if you don't appreciate, you are not swallowing the experience you are having, you won't be able to have more. The more you can appreciate what you are having, the more you will be swallowing, the more food you can put in your mouth. Eventually, you may want to eat anymore, but you can eat more that way.

Patti: Well, is it ever fair to say, I want to have this be the best experience of your life? I mean, how do you...

Steve: You can say it, but not to lose, if it is not. You have to appreciate it again. It is more important than any future goal, is to appreciate right now. It is good to have future goals, but it is more important to have pleasure right now.

Vera: What you just said, I want this to be the greatest, you are stepping out of the present time and going into the future. You are painting the future, more desirable than where you are now. Because, that is stepping out of present time, is going insane. Because, you are then not going to have what you are having, and there is no way to win if you think, "This is OK. I want something better." It is just going to cut off your pleasure.

Patti: OK. You want to take Vera higher, OK. Things are going are really great. You just feel more pleasure in your body, and what's the frame of the last time you took Vera to the next level? Could you give us a specific frame of how it happened?

Steve: Communicate something. Also it is matter of your intention. You have to have intention. Actually, Vic Bronco said, true intention is demonstrated by attainment. So you don't really know if you have true intention if you don't attain it. But you can have a lot of intention on, "OK. I am putting my attention on you now. This is really good. I am going to take you even higher now. You can say that, take you even higher now. Let's go." And then kind of like, be cheering like, "That's really good. You have to feel you are going higher. It is taking up even more, let's go even 5% more, and you can do it. That's even better, maybe. Oh, you are really feeling good. Oh that's great. Keep doing it. I am going to stop in a second. No, keep going. You feel so good." If you keep talking to a person like that, and can record what is happening, the pleasure they are having, you can really take them to another level, if your intention is there.

Patti: So, it is the intention plus it is this, like amazing appreciation for the present moment, for what's going on.

Steve: Yeah. Right, it is a combination.

Vera: It is a combination. The more you appreciate it, the better it goes. It is a sure thing. If you are appreciative of the moment, only then can you go higher. But if you are not appreciating [laughs], it is a bummer.

Steve: And make sure you take breaks. What we call, peaking somebody. Not to let them go, keep rubbing, or they are going to start going down, without your intention to let them go down.

Patti: Could you define peaking for us? Yeah, maybe even do, like censor on an audio podcast, the sound like the, the, the, that thing. [laughter]

Well you can't do it visually, or kinesthetically.

Steve: Somebody injure your ears. Taking a break, or stopping before they do. You are rubbing on somebody, you are stimulating their clitoris, let's say. You are rubbing and it feels really good. It feels really good, each stroke feels better and better. It feels so good. That feels so good.

Then you have this thought you had. It is not a thought, maybe it is not going to feel like, some kind of other thought. Take a break. Stop. There already, when you have that thought, that's when they started to space out, or not feel as much. Still might be feeling or might just be starting heading south a little bit. Take a break. It could be for just a split second. It could be for half a stroke missing.

You are rubbing, like a rhythm, stroke, stroke, ..., stroke, stroke. You take that little break. Or it can be for a longer time. You can say, I will take a break now. Take a sip of water, talk to the person, tell how much fun you are having, think you have enough now. Tease the person, kind of like withholding a little bit. Like you would say, should we end this now, had enough. Make them want more. That's another reason to peak them. You want them to want more. If you keep stroking, they can like, have enough, or they are going to fade away, or go over the edge, or whatever they do. If you take breaks and peak them, then you can keep them entertained, keep them wanting more.

Patti: Jeeps, you are laughing, you don't like to be peaked.

Vera: I was recalling an experience that Vic did. There was a student that came to do sessions. And she came to a session, and she was driven in a limo to the lesson, and she only received one stroke [laughs], and it was very slow and deliberate and she was put back in the limo and driven home. This was a woman who was holding out and saying, "I don't know."

The following time, when she came for the next session, she was very ready. She was determined that she was going to get more than one stroke. This was an expensive course, you know. She paid a lot of money to have so many sessions. There was one session that was only one stroke. [laughs]

Patti: Well, I guess you could say that the time between the sessions was a long peak too.

Steve: Yeah. Extra long.

Vera: Extra long, right.

Patti: Well, I guess, the peaking is to build the energy too. Because it gives the people a chance to swallow and digest as you were saying before.

Steve: Yes, definitely. You can build on that. You can build each peak and get higher and higher, if you can peak at the right time.

Patti: OK, we are going to take another break. We are going to hear...

Steve: You are peaking!

Patti: [laughs] Right. Hear from our sponsors, and then we are going to be right back. We are talking to Dr. Steve and Vera Bodansky, the brilliant authors of the "Illustrated Guide to Extended Massive Orgasm," and they have a website, extendedmassiveorgasm.com. They have a video and they are coaches, and they are brilliant people. So please stay with us, we will be right back.

[radio break]

Patti: We are back. I am Dr. Patti Taylor. We are talking with Drs. Steve and Vera Bodansky. Before the break, we were talking about how a person who is feeling orgasmic and pleasured can take it to the next level.

Now, I would like to talk about, can somebody do EMO on their own, or does it require a group effort or two people? How does it work?

Steve: Well, actually, it is not EMO, it is M-E-O, it is a MEO.

Patti: OK. Well, how does a MEO work?

Steve: It's massive extended orgasm works, actually the same way, if you are doing it to yourself. Your level of teasing is a little more difficult. But you can pleasure yourself a lot. It is just learning how to touch yourself, and the strokes, taking breaks also. When I first learned about this, I peaked myself -- I think I used a Playboy calendar. I had fantasies and I used one girl for each peak. I had twelve different peaks. You can peak yourself too. It is a lot of fun to do it to yourself. You don't need a partner. It is safer.

Patti: That's really great. Because, I think, there is a lot of people who feel like, "Wow, I am only going to... I have a partner, I don't want to offend him or her, or I am lazy or whatever." But isn't there a real value in developing your own orgasmic capacity on your own? What do you think?

Steve: Oh, definitely. That's how you really learn how to teach your partner what you like. You can really practice and experiment and find out, play with different strokes, and different kinds of strokes, at different pressures, at different speeds, and different lubricants. You can play around in your own bedroom, by yourself, and learn a whole lot.

Vera: It is also very important to keep a journal and write down your progression, and how you felt and date it, and have a separate journal just for that.

Patti: Why is that?

Vera: Because you will have it on paper, of the progress and the improvement and the ride that you are taking and going higher. Because you know how to decide when you are feeling more. Then you can look back and say, "Oh, this is the day I did myself for five minutes. This is the day, and I had so many peaks." It is just like keeping a journal. If you are doing it with a partner, the same thing. It would be good for both people, to keep a journal, and know what are they are doing.

Patti: So doing yourself again is giving yourself pleasure. What might someone write in their journal, like a specific frame. Because I agree, to learn how to put language and words, is very empowering, and maybe one of the great final things we have to learn, is how to put language on our words. Could you just give, maybe for our listeners, maybe an example from a journal, either one of you.

Steve: Most people don't know what a specific frame is.

Patti: OK. Good point!

Steve: It is just like -- we call it a specific frame. It is kind of, just a stop, like you have in a movie, at least on film. You have different individual shots that are running through the projector. So one is going to be an instant. So this clarifying or describing an instant of time of pleasure. And the more specific you can define that experience, that bit of pleasure, actually, the more recalling it will actually turn yourself on this way. By reading it or writing it, or listening to it.

Patti: So what might a specific frame be. Like I was pleasuring myself and...

Steve: OK. I had my hand on my penis.

Patti: OK. [giggles]

Steve: It was right under the corona and it was slow strokes, and I was thinking of Vera's naked thigh, and squeezing my penis, and I felt this intense rush go from my penis into the rest of my body and kind of explode out of whole fingertips and toes.

Vera: and from the top of your head too. You feel like it is all shooting out.

Steve: It is OK to fantasize too, especially when you are by yourself. Even when you are with somebody else, it is OK to fantasize. Especially when you are by yourself, it is fun to fantasize.

Patti: Yeah. I find it so amazing you bring in the language part. So I really appreciating that you are willing to share that. Because I think, bringing in the language... How are we going to communicate with our partner, if we don't know how to communicate?

I think the journal helps us to put in words what we are feeling, and make it OK to actually have those thoughts. So it is absolutely true that you brought it up.

We will go back to the self-pleasuring. Do you support using the water hoses for women? What ways can women learn how to -- what do you recommend for women to pleasure themselves, and single people?

Vera: We tell them that whatever they do, is not to stop doing. Whatever they are interested. I believe we just want them to add to what we know. And not necessarily say, stop doing what you are doing, unless they are using hammers, or some pain attached to it. They can play whatever they want. Even hammers are OK.

Patti: You are the liberal branch than all of us. OK, so vibrator user, as long as it feels good.

Steve: We kind of tell people, who are becoming serious to sensuality, they don't have to put their vibrators on hold for a while. Or give it away to somebody...

Patti: All right. Hands are really what's at.

Steve: And water hoses. We recommend it to women too. I think you need a description of that properly. It is just being one more step out of being effect, when you are masturbating.

Vera: The water is like another person doing it to you, instead of you.

Steve: If you can get a bidet, that's even better, maybe.

Patti: Ooo! It's only when somebody is modeling their house, wants unlimited oral sex, until the hot water runs out. Listen, I know you work with couples privately. We sort of running out of time, but I was wondering if you have any inspiring stories of anyone you worked with. Just maybe, you want to share, something that has moved you recently. Anyone you saw grow, or get out of shift...

Steve: We do mostly sessions with single people, mostly women. But we do have couples occassionally. She had taken sessions before. He had never taken any. So I showed him, I demonstrated on Vera, the basics, how to get in position, how to hold your hands, where to put your arms and where to put your legs. And then how to touch, taking touch, and how to pull back the hood.

Then I demonstrated on his girlfriend, also with him watching. Some guys don't like this bit. They are too worried about that. But this guy was here to learn, so it worked out really well. Then we let him take over on his girlfriend. She got off really great. He was thrilled with the power he had, and the amount of fun he could give her, without using his penis.

Vera: [laughs] It was winning. It was a big win for him. Before that he felt that he was never producing enough pleasure for her. And all of a sudden, in one lesson, he found where her spot is, and how to move it and how to talk about it. It was a big, big opening for him.

Patti: I guess that really will make your day. When you think about the effect this has on families, on relationships, really on the rest of someone's life. What an investment for someone to just find their sensuality and their spot and to make that kind of a difference in a person's life.

Steve: This one session, seems like changed this guy's life around.

Vera: It's really wonderful. Doesn't happen very often, because not many people have the courage to come through this door and see us. But the ones that make it, I think they are very special people when they come to see us face to face.

Patti: Well, I agree. I almost can hardly think of a better investment. It is an investment you are making for the rest of your life, especially if you are with someone, or even if you are single. The quality of people you might be picking out of that. Well,

we are just about out of time. I was hoping that, Steve, you might leave us with a either a parting thought, or one action that someone could go home and do tonight, or just some thought that they could think about.

Steve: OK. You can actually have the orgasm, or have pleasure, anytime of the day. You don't have to be in a bedroom. You don't have to be with a partner. You can just decide, when someone walks through the door, I am going to feel my genitals, put my attention there, and feel as much pleasure as I can. You can do that whenever you want -- stop at that red light, just put my attention on my genitals and feel.

Patti: Wow! I love that one! Vera, equal opportunity here. Would you like to leave our listeners with a parting thought or action?

Vera: Well, I would like to encourage anybody not to cheat themselves of the greatest pleasure available to them, and it takes courage, and to go ahead and go for it.

Patti: Kick out for it. Wow, simple, simple advice. Very easy to remember, too. I want to thank you both, Dr. Steve and Vera Bodansky. Give you a little more information on them, you can reach them at their website, extendedmassiveorgasm.com, or you can reach them by writing to them at [email protected] They have a number of books, "Illustrated Guide to Extended Massive Orgasm." A few more, their last book, "To Bed or Not To Bed." Anyway, they are wonderful people. Thank you so much for joining us today.

Steve: You are welcome.

Vera: You are welcome, thank you too.

Patti: OK. Join us next week on the Expanded Lovemaking Show, when we talk to you, "When Laughing Wins," and talking about Pdoshka Contra. That brings us to the end of the show. Please send me email at [email protected] For text and transcripts of the show, and other shows on Personal Life Media network, please visit our website at www.personallifemedia.com. This is your host, Dr. Patti Taylor. That's all for now. I remain yours and ever expanded lovemaking, and I will be back next week.