Why is this taking so long?

That was my question. After fifteen years, I was still wondering why we hadn’t made any real progress. And in the last five years, when we were finally getting somewhere, I wondered why it felt like it was taking so long. I wanted it over. I wanted it to be healed and in our past.

I think I’ve figured it out. It was because our relationship was more like a big cruise ship than a two-person kayak. We had a lot going on inside. A lot of history. A lot of memories. There were a lot of waves to navigate, and a lot of energy still in us to live.

And like other big ships, it took a long time to turn it around.

You know the stories about how some drug addicts are instantly delivered and they never crave the substance again? It happens for some people. I don’t know why it happens for some and not for others, but for most of us it’s a slow turning.

And since it happens over time, it’s like tiny course corrections; tiny adjustments that create a long, wide, often painful U-turn. BUT, as long as my husband and I continued making those tiny adjustments, the ship turned around…