Confirmed Bachelors
(Who They Are and What You Should Know)

I
hate to say it. But I’m not afraid
to. And it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve
treaded controversial territory! So, here it goes…

When
it came to dating and mating, my mother and women before
her, adopted the philosophy “Why buy the cow
if you can get the milk for free?”

Old-fashioned
advice? Maybe. But they were “words of wisdom” that
produced fewer problems than the ones that exist today.

George
Clooney, dubbed as Sexiest Man Alive, 1997 (by People
Magazine), and a “confirmed bachelor” has
decided that marriage ain’t
for him, which is totally his choice. I get that.
And, I also respect a man who’s not “wishy-washy;”
one that states his position unapologetically.

Meanwhile,
he’s enjoying many of the perks and
privileges of marriage, as are many other single men.
Some would say what’s the problem? We’re
all adults.

The
problem? Unfortunately it is that the women these “free
spirits” are
dating (though not all of them), are secretly holding
on for dear life, and hoping they’ll be able
to change the situation with enough love and hope.

Hope
against hope. I’ve been there. But older
and much wiser now, I don’t hang on
to situations where my value is not recognized, nor
my time wasted. I figured out some time ago, that any
man who does not recognize the “catch” that
I am, isn’t
worth catching! And if you’re a fabulous female,
so should you.

Unless
you’re a “confirmed
bachelorette” stop
holding on for dear life, and hold out for something
better! Stop the cooking, cleaning, crying, coaxing,
and the Kama Sutra. And come to your senses.

Ultimatums and Expectations
I was watching an Oprah Winfrey segment a while
back ago, when several women were featured
on the show who were frustrated because they
couldn’t get
their guys to commit. These women were attractive,
successful and smart. And in apparent great pain.
So what gives?

Confirmed
bachelors are clever creatures! They often have good
taste and choose women who are cream of the crop.
They send mixed messages for fear of losing these
women who, quite frankly, could easily exercise their
options
elsewhere. And these fellows know this! So they lead
their lovers on, so they won’t lose
out.

To try to tame them, some women have questioned the
use of ultimatums, and whether they work in getting
a guy to the altar.
My position? It’s a 50/50 proposition.

Theoretically
speaking, an ultimatum could jolt him to his senses.
Or it could backfire and have him bolting
in the opposite direction!
But think about it. Would you really want to wed someone
you had to “strong
arm”? Particularly when there are great guys
out here who would die for the opportunity to have
you
by their
side.

Why women need to wake up and smell the coffee!
In all fairness, I don’t want to characterize
all “confirmed bachelors” as manipulative
or commitment phobic. Some single guys find that they
prefer their lifestyle, or that they simply are not
marriage material. And they have stated their intent
to their mates! I actually have friends and relatives
who fit in this category. Yet, their partners refuse
to hear and embrace the truth.

So, here are the findings
of a study conducted on bachelors and what it reveals.
Take note.

If
he’s over forty and never been married,
chances are he’ll stay that way”, according
to Ph. D. Charles Waehler, author of Bachelors:
the Psychology of Men Who Haven’t Married.”

Here’s
what his research has uncovered:

» The
chances of a 35 year-old man who has never been
married, to marry is 50/50.

» After
40, the likelihood that a never hitched man will
marry, drops to 1 in 5.

» These
bachelors tend to be only children or only sons
and/or men whose parents married later in life.

He
also states that about 3 million men in this country
alone choose not to marry. Waehler contends that these
guys are not woman-haters, ladies’ men or mama’s
boys. They are just happy the way they are.

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