Butt Dust And More... :) Shangy!
>Here are the details on our Yahoo ShangyFunList:
To Subscribe send a blank email to
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Group home page:
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Through no fault of my own we suddenly became an
adult club in the love and romance directory so
you will have to confirm that you are an adult
when you go here. I still have no idea how to change
this back as it sends me around in a circle when I try!
or Web Site:
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Group email address:
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================
*~* A REMINDER: PLEASE Send me sweet, interesting, funny,
inspiring, family type forwards ANY TIME here...
bcrsystems@earthlink.net
I Need them, Love them, Use them, and Share them! THANK YOU!!
================
>-->OoooWEeeee!!
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-- ''-- --- VK/ejm
I'm doing a 'Happy Angel' dance! Why? Because
Shangrala has been blessed with another 2011 Angel!
Rita K. Woodman from Texas is again a faithful Shangrala
supporter. This is her THIRD year in a row of stepping
up to the plate to help Keep Shangrala Alive with a sweet
donation! We sure do thank God for her and all our past
wonderful angels!
PLEASE Thank her and Bless her by visiting her web site here:
J.R.Watkins - http://www.cinnamonandspice.com
If you'd like to help too and be counted as a 2011
Shangrala Angel, please visit the site and click
on the donate button. A Secure PAYPAL page comes up.
Any amount is greatly appreciated and needed!
PLEASE Visit Shangrala to Help:
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/index.html
OR If you'd rather send us a donation,
Please MAIL it here:
Elrhea Bigham
502 S. Harrison
Van Wert, OH 45891
*~* THANK YOU! MAY GOD BLESS ALL OUR ANGELS MOST ABUNDANTLY!
================
>-->2 HOT Off The 'Shangy' Press! :)
This first hot toddy comes from our friends Wesley and PatDeE.
Just in time for Easter! These eggs are absolutely beautiful
and amazing works of art. If that wasn't enough, we have an
awesome wall mural artist video at the end that will delight
and inspire you! As always give it time to load.
__
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Pysanky Easter Eggs
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/eastereggs.html
---
...What a treasure! Thank You Wesley and PatDeE!
The second hot totty here is from our friend PatDeE. If
you like cool awesome and fun places to visit, you may want
to check out this place!
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The Willis (Sears) Tower!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/willist.html
---
...Wow! What great photos! Thanks PatDeE!
================================================================
When Is It Time To Clean House? _________H ,%%&%,
/\ _ \%&&%%&%
I clean my house according to some / \___/^\___\%&%%&&
simple principles that are easy to | | [] [] |%\Y&%'
remember: | | .-. | ||
~~@._|@@_|||_@@|~||~~~~~~~~~
1. If you have just stepped on `""") )"""` jgs
something and danced around in pain
until you slipped on a magazine, it is probably time to pick up
again.
___ ___ 2. If you find your scissors by
/ _ \ _.-'_.' feeling around your dining room
\____`-.____.-'_.-' table until you feel something
`-. _.\.-' hard of the correct shape, it's
____.-'`__/-._ time to clear off a few things.
/ _ .-'` '-._`-._
\___/ '-._'-. 3. If you need a gas mask to open
jgs `"` your fridge, you might think about
throwing away some of
4. If you drop your comb in those leftovers. .-.
the bathroom and you pick it | |
it up with more hair than is currently attached to |=|
your head, it's time to sweep. |=|
| |
5. If the neighbors are circulating a petition | |
about the state of your yard, you might consider | |
cutting the grass - but only if you've failed to | |
buy them off with a doll dress or two. | |
| |
6. When sorting newspaper, ask yourself if anyone | |
asked for it in the last six months (or the last | |
time you sorted, whichever comes later). If no | |
one has, throw it out. | |
___________ | |
/=//==//=/ \ 7. If your feet stick | |
|=||==||=| | walking across the kitchen | |
|=||==||=|~-, | floor, it's time to mop. |=|
|=||==||=|^.`;| jgs |=|
jgs \=\\==\\=\`=.: 8. If it takes more than |_|
`"""""""`^-,`. 20 minutes to find your .=/I\=.
`.~,' kids when you wake them up ////V\\\\
9. If you ',~^:, in the morning, it's time |#######|
haven't seen `.^;`. to have them clean their |||||||||
the floor of ^-.~=;. rooms - use new doll |||||||||
your car for `.^.:`. dresses or Power Ranger |||||||||
a week because stuff as incentives. |||||||||
of the Happy Meal |||||||||
litter on the floor and 'wash me' is written in the
dust on the outside of the car, it's time to take the hint.
===================================================================
+-------------- More Bizarre April Days --------------+
April 18 is International Jugglers Day
April 19 is Garlic Day
April 20 is Look Alike Day
April 21 is Kindergarten Day
April 22 is National Jelly Bean Day
April 23 is Read Me Day and World Laboratory Animal Day
April 24 is National Pigs In A Blanket Day
April 25 is National Zucchini Bread Day
April 26 is Richter Scale Day and National Pretzel Day
April 27 is Tell A Story Day
April 28 is Great Poetry Reading Day and Kiss-Your-Mate Day
April 29 is National Shrimp Scampi Day
April 30 is National Honesty Day
-<>-
+-------------- Bizarre Execution Facts --------------+
The last public execution in America was the hanging of a
22-year-old black man named Rainey Bethea. He was executed
at Owensboro, KY, in 1936 after being convicted of killing
a 70-year-old white women. Twenty thousand people showed
up to witness the execution.
The last person hanged in the U.S. for being a pirate was
Capt. Nathaniel Gordon, in New York City on March 8, 1862.
Gordon had been smuggling slaves into the US.
The last person to be burned at the stake was Phoebe
Harrius. Harrius was convicted of coining false money and
was burned at the stake in front of Newgate Prison in
England in 1786.
The last public execution by guillotine was on June 17,
1939. Eugen Weidman was executed before a large crowd
in Versailles, France. The last nonpublic use of the
guillotine in France, at Baumetes Prison, in Marsailles,
was the execution of convicted murderer Hamida Djandoubi,
a Tunisian immigrant, on September 10, 1977.
During WWII Private Eddie Slovik was tried by court-martial
and sentenced to death for desertion. He was shot by his
own unit, the 28th Infantry Division, in a small town in
northeast France.
==========================================================
>-->From Our Friend GlennL :)
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>What Is Butt Dust ??
What, you ask, is 'Butt Dust'? Read on and you'll discover the joy in
it! These have to be original and genuine. No adult is this creative!
.---.
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JACK (age 3)
was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister ... After a
while he asked: 'Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for
cold milk? '
STEVEN (age 3)
hugged and kissed his Mom good night. 'I love you so much that when you
die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window.'
BRITTANY (age 4)
had an ear ache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take
the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it
was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with
wonder, the little girl asked: 'How does it know it's me?'
SUSAN (age 4)
was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. 'Please don't give me this
juice again,' she said, 'It makes my teeth cough...'
DJ (age 4)
stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: 'How much do I cost?'
CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried when his Mom asked
what was troubling him, he replied, 'I don't know what'll happen with
this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in it?'
MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and
kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his
dad: 'Why is he whispering in her mouth?'
TAMMY(age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather
wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then
asked, 'Why doesn't your skin fit your face?'
JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story . His dad read:'The man
named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his
wife looked back and was turned to salt.' Concerned, James asked:
'What happened to the flea?'
Kids say the darndest things...
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The sermon I think this Mom will never forget...
This particular Sunday sermon...'Dear Lord,' the minister began, with
arms extended toward Heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face.
'Without You, we are but dust...' He would have continued but at that
moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me
and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice,
'Mom, what is butt dust?'
Make sure you pass this one on and spread the smiles...
---
...LOL! Thanks GlennL!
=============================================================
>-->From Our Friend Johanna :)
___ ___
/::_\._./_::\
_={::(_>[_]No Excuse Sunday
To make it possible for everyone to attend church, how about having a
special No Excuse Sunday?
* Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say Sunday is my only
day to sleep in.
* There will be a special section with lounge chairs for those who feel
that our pews are too hard.
* Eye drops will be available for those with tired eyes from watching TV
late Saturday night.
* We will have steel helmets for those who say, The roof would cave in
If I ever came to church.
* Blankets will be furnished for those who think the church is too cold,
and fans for those who say it is too hot.
* Scorecards will be available for those who wish to list the hypocrites
present.
* Relatives and friends will be in attendance for those who can't go to
church and cook dinner, too.
* We will distribute Stamp Out Stewardship buttons for those that feel
the church is always asking for money.
* One section will be devoted to trees and grass for those who like to
seek God in nature.
* Doctors and nurses will be in attendance for those who plan to be sick
on Sunday.
* The sanctuary will be decorated with both Christmas poinsettias and
Easter lilies for those who never have seen the church without them.
* We will provide hearing aids for those who can't hear the preacher
and cotton for those who can!!
- Author unknown.
---
...TeeHee! Thanks Johanna!
-<>-
__ __
(_ \ / _)
\ \/ /
.____ ('*' ) Hands off dem eggs pal
--=_\===(~ )) if'n ya know
__( )( )__ whats good for
MJP(____) (____) ya.....
>MY KIND OF TEACHER
A former Sergeant, having served his time with the Marine Corps, took a
new job as a school teacher, but just before the school year started he
injured his back.
He was required to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his
body. Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't noticeable.
On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest
students in the school.
The smart aleck punks, having already heard the new teacher was a
former marine, were leery of him and decided to see how tough he really
was, before trying any pranks.
Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened
the window wide and sat down at his desk.
When a strong breeze made his necktie flap, he picked up a stapler and
promptly stapled the tie to his chest.
Dead silence.... He had no trouble with discipline that year.
---
...LOL! Thanks Johanna!
-<>-
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(_______) \
>You're not old unless you can remember most, if not all of these:
* Being sent to the drugstore to test vacuum tubes for the TV.
* When Kool-Aid was the only drink for kids, other than milk and sodas.
* When there were two types of sneakers for girls and boys (Keds & PF
Flyers), and the only time you wore them at school, was for "gym."
* When it took five minutes for the TV to warm up. When nearly
everyone's Mom was at home when the kids got there.
* When nobody owned a purebred dog.
* When a quarter was a decent allowance, and another quarter a huge
bonus.
* When you'd reach into a muddy gutter for a penny.
* When girls neither dated nor kissed until late high school, if then.
* When your Mom wore nylons that came in two pieces.
* When all of your male teachers wore neckties and female teachers ha
their hair done, everyday.
* When you got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped,
without asking....for free, every time. And, you didn't pay for air.
And, you got trading stamps to boot!
* When laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden
inside the box.
* When any parent could discipline any kid, or feed him, or use him to
carry groceries, and nobody, not even the kid, thought a thing of it.
* When it was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at
a real restaurant with your parents.
* When they threatened to keep kids back a grade if they failed ... and
did!
* When being sent to the principal's office was nothing compared to the
fate that awaited a misbehaving student at home.
~Author Unknown~
It's all right to sit on your pity pot every now and again. Just be sure
to flush when you are done.
---
...HaHa! Yeppers! Thanks Johanna!
-<>-
This week's article comes from Trey Morgan, a minister of the gospel in
Childress, Texas. Much of Trey's writing relates to the topic of family
relationships. If you are blessed by this article, you'll want to check
out more at his website: www.treymorgan.net.
===== Friday's Thought For The Day (Apr. 15, 2011) =====
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>CHUCK NORRIS, MEN AND MAN-LAWS by Trey Morgan
A few of us guys were visiting about man-laws after church
recently and the importance of teaching them to our sons. For those
women who might not know, man-law is an unwritten code which men live
by. I'm not a man-law expert, but I do think I know a man-law when I
see one. For example here are a few man-laws that real-men live by that
might not make sense to women, but totally make sense to us...
* Man-law says that on a road trip the most manly-man is the one with
the strongest bladder.
* Man-law says that no man shall EVER wear an article of women's
clothing unless they are the loser of a bet.
* Man-law states that grilling, no matter the weather, is always the
first choice of cooking.
* Man-law clearly states that under NO circumstance do two men EVER
share an umbrella.
* Man-law says that men can watch chick-flicks on occasion, BUT they are
never to be watched without the presence of a girlfriend or wife. And
they should NEVER be seen crying.
* Man-law has many rules of the public restrooms. First and foremost,
men must follow the "buffer-zone" rule. That means where there are more
than two urinals, there must always be one urinal of separation between
you and the next man. You NEVER sidle-up to another man when there's an
empty urinal down the line. This law is null-and-void when there are
dividers between the urinals.
* Another public restroom man-law is if you are first in the bathroom
and there are only three urinals, you must not take the middle urinal
because it would be impossible to follow the "buffer zone" rule if
another man enters the bathroom. If you happen to encounter this simply
clear your throat and say, "Dude!" Generally a man will realize their
error and move down one, obeying the law of the urinal "buffer zone."
* One final restroom man-law is that being chatty in the bathroom is
inappropriate, a simple head-nod is all the conversation that is needed.
* Man-law states crying is okay when your team has just won the big game
or a heroic dog dies saving his master from death.
* There is NO reason for a man to EVER watch ice skating or men's
gymnastics. Man-law!
* Man-law states that while walking with a group to the car, a
soon-to-be occupant may reserve the front passenger seat by calling out
"Shotgun." All passengers must honor and respect the calling of shotgun.
On those occasions where there is a tie while calling shotgun, a race to
the car decides who gets the front.
* Men can comment on how much they enjoy manly smells of things like a
baseball glove, a new set of tires, the smell of gunpowder, campfire,
sawdust and bar-b-que grills.
* Man-law clearly states that no man shall ever watch a soap opera ever!
Period!
* A man is allowed to scream ONLY when he is caught off guard and bitten
by a large deadly snake.
* The man-law official start date of the male shopping season is
December 23rd, as compared to the female season, which opens on the day
following Thanksgiving.
* And under NO circumstances shall a man EVER defer control of the
television remote to a female.
_
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b'ger /___/___^//
As much as I love man-laws, I must never forget that
"God-laws" always trump all "man-laws." And men who follow God-laws,
such as the following, are ALWAYS the most manly-men of all
…
* A real man loves his wife and is faithful to her sexually, emotionally
and mentally.
* A real man prays with his wife.
* A real man is involved in his children's lives.
* A real man puts his family before his job, hobbies and buddies.
* A real man is the spiritual leader in his home.
* A real man isn't ashamed of his faith and puts God first in his life.
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ
also loved the church and gave Himself for her." (Ephesians 5:25).
---
...I do so love the God-Laws! Thanks Johanna!
=================================================================
>->In The Worldly News:
[It's Tax Day!]
>From Our Friend PatDeE:
IF YOU READ ANYTHING THIS YEAR LET IT BE THIS"!!
Long, but worth reading again.
Wish our politicians held the same beliefs today.
Thomas Jefferson
http://www.confettiantiques.com/blogs/thomas-jefferson/
---
...Very Interesting! Thanks PatDeE!
-<>-
>From TheTeaParty.net!
Taxes are due. Whether you owe the government money and had to write
them a check, or you received some of your money back after loaning it
to the government interest free (refund), today is day of significance.
Even though tax day is not the technical birthday of the Tea Party
movement, two years ago on tax day, more than a million people took to
the streets at peaceful rallies across the nation to decry an
overreaching federal government. Those rallies sparked a political
movement that has the establishment politicians from both parties
terrified and has already changed the debate in Washington.
Read the rest here:
http://tinyurl.com/3go64uv
A Sometimes Heated Conversation
http://tinyurl.com/3sq9yno
-<>-
>From Vision To America:
The IRS: Even Worse Than You Think
http://tinyurl.com/4x4qv7a
-<>-
[POLITICS]
>From Patriot Update:
EPA Official Says Jobs Don't Matter
http://tinyurl.com/3g8zd9f
Obama: Despite Law, I Can do What I Want on Czars
http://tinyurl.com/3z844rz
-<>-
>From Newsmax.com
Trump: I'm Running as a Republican, Period
http://tinyurl.com/3gm8al2
Rep. Allen West: I’d Join Trump Ticket as VP
http://tinyurl.com/3qlk6as
Calif. May Require Gay History Lessons
http://tinyurl.com/4xwlnld
-<>-
>From BizarreNews:
Say you're facing the prospect of spending the night,
hungry and sober, in a refrigerator box under the express-
way. Would a meal and a room for the night with a shower
be worth a little subcutaneous bruising to you? Apparently
it is to an increasing number of homeless men in St.
Petersburg.
Bizarre as this scenario sounds, this is exactly what is
happening in this Florida community to men who have sold
themselves as punching bags for fetish videos.
A locally operated fetish website recruits them right off
the street for as little as $50. They sign a waiver and
must endure at least 12 minutes of hard physical abuse
from young women in bikinis (or sometimes semi-nude)
including punches, kicks, knees, bondage and whipping,
all in front of a video camera.
The videos sell for as little as $10.
The practice is widespread enough that local homeless
advocate G.W. Rolle said for months he noticed men walking
around with black eyes, split lips and limps before he
finally got someone to tell him about the "beatdowns," as
they have come to be known among the homeless.
Southern Legal Counsel, which has represented St. Petersburg's
homeless in the past, filed the suit seeking an injunction
to stop the beatings, saying the men were vulnerable and
desperate for money. It also seeks damages for medical
costs and emotional distress.
-- Long-lost twins lived 3 miles apart --------
ROTHERHAM, England - A 67-year-old British woman separated
from her twin sister at birth says a TV show found her
sibling had been living just 3 miles away their whole
lives. Jennifer and Judith Walton, were reunited by the
producers of ITV1 series "Long Lost Family" for an episode
scheduled for air April 21, said they still live in the
Rotherham, England, homes they grew up in and never knew
they shared the same doctor and dentist, The Sun reported
Tuesday. The twins said they also found Jen worked for 40
years at the store where Judith, who was renamed Kath by
her adoptive family, picked up her prescriptions. They
have grandchildren in the same local drama group. The
sisters had been adopted by different families at birth.
Jen said she had attempted to track her sister through
social services 14 years ago, but had no success. She
said it took researchers for the TV show four months to
discover her sister living in the same town. "I dreamed
of one day finding my sister and, because I couldn't find
her, imagined she was in Australia," Jen said. "When I
found she was 'round the corner, I felt so happy. "Now we
see each other every week and pop round to each other's
home for cups of tea."
-- 54-foot height error identifies fake ID -------
WASHINGTON, Pa. - Police in Pennsylvania said they were
tipped off to use of a fake ID when a scanner used on it
read the card holder's height as 54 feet tall. Washington
police said an employee at an alcohol distributor in the
city called police Saturday night when a card scanner read
the height as 54 feet tall, instead of the intended 5 feet
4 inches, The Observer-Reporter in Washington, reported
Tuesday. Police said the incident led them to seize
multiple fake IDs used at the establishment and most of
the young people interviewed identified the same Web site
as the source of the false documents. Police said the
investigation was ongoing and charges were expected to be
filed.
===========================================================
>-->Hints And Tips From Our Friend Linda :)
_---~~(~~-_.
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( `-,_..`., )-- '_,)
( ` _) ( -~( -_ `, }
(_- _ ~_-~~~~`, ,' )
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~~~~ {_ -_(())
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>BRAIN DAMAGING HABITS
1. No Breakfast.
People who do not take breakfast are going to have a lower blood sugar
level. This leads to an insufficient supply of nutrients to the brain
causing brain degeneration.
/\ __
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2. Overeating.
It causes hardening of the brain arteries, leading to a decrease in
mental power.
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3. Smoking
It causes multiple brain shrinkage and may lead to Alzheimer disease.
__..\/
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'------'
4. High Sugar consumption.
Too much sugar will interrupt the absorption of proteins and nutrients
causing malnutrition and may interfere with brain development.
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5. Air Pollution.
The brain is the largest oxygen consumer in our 20 body. Inhaling
polluted air decreases the supply of oxygen to the brain, bringing
about a decrease in brain efficiency.
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6. Sleep Deprivation.
Sleep allows our brain to rest... Long term deprivation from sleep will
accelerate the death of brain cells...
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7. Head covered while sleeping.
Sleeping with the head covered increases the concentration of carbon
dioxide and decrease concentration of oxygen that may lead to brain
damaging effects.
,;;;,
::::: _____
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; | ; |
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\|/ |
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You would think with all the
medical research and technology,
they could invent a
"butt-proof" gown!
8. Working your brain during illness.
Working hard or studying with sickness may lead to a decrease in
effectiveness of the brain as well as damage the brain.
__..\/ "You know, since I gave up
/\ \ \\ food, I can really taste
/_/\_.___\ ) my cigarettes."
/\~()/()~//\ ((
\_ (_ _/ )_
\ //\\ / //
__/\ __ /\__ (\(((\
~-._ / \ \ / / \ \___/
~-._ / \/\/\/ \ / /
~-._/ \../ \/ /
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| | o \_____/
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| |___/\____| ~-._
\___| |
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9. Lacking in stimulating thoughts.
Thinking is the best way to train our brain, lacking in brain
stimulation thoughts may cause brain shrinkage.
Trapped behind a wall:
.--._
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/ / \ \
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|___| \___\
snd |_| \_\
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'-' '-'
10. Talking Rarely.
Intellectual conversations will promote the efficiency of the brain.
-<>-
>The main causes of liver damage.
z
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.--. Z Z
/ _(c\ .-. __
| / / '-; \'-'` `\______
\_\/'/ __/ ) / ) | \--,
| \`""`__-/ .'--/ /--------\ \
\\` ///-\/ / /---;-. '-'
jgs (________\ \
'-'
1. Sleeping too late and waking up too late are main cause.
2. Not urinating in the morning.
3. Too much eating.
4. Skipping breakfast.
5. Consuming too much medication.
6. Consuming too much preservatives, additives, food colouring, and
artificial sweetener.
_
[_]
.--' `--.
| baby |
|~~oil~~|
| |
`-------' Krogg
Made with REAL babies too....
7. Consuming unhealthy cooking oil.
As much as possible reduce cooking oil when frying, which includes even
the best cooking oils like olive oil. Do not consume fried foods when
you are tired, except if the body is very fit.
\ /
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( =Y= )
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____/ /___\ \
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/jgs\_________________________,,,,....----""""~~~~````
8. Consuming raw (overly done) foods also add to the burden of liver.
Veggies should be eaten raw or cooked 3-5 parts. Fried veggies should
be finished in one sitting, do not store.
We should prevent this without necessarily spending more. We just have
to adopt a good daily lifestyle and eating habits. Maintaining good
eating habits and time condition are very important for our bodies to
absorb and get rid of unnecessary chemicals according to 'schedule.'
-<>-
>The top five cancer-causing foods
_ _
( \ / )
\ \.-------------./ /
\( )/
`.___________.'
VK
1. Hot Dogs. Because they are high in nitrates, the Cancer Prevention
Coalition advises that children eat no more than 12 hot dogs a month.
If you can't live without hot dogs, buy those made without sodium
nitrate.
__ _.._
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/--' '-._.' '-._./
/__.--._.--._.'``-.__/
'._.-'-._.-._.-''-..'
jgs
2. Processed meats and Bacon. Also high in the same sodium nitrates
found inhot dogs, bacon, and other processed meats raise the risk of
heart disease. The saturated fat in bacon also contributes to cancer.
___
.-" "-.
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| ` .-. . ' |
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3. Doughnuts. Doughnuts are cancer-causing double trouble. First, they
are made with white flour, sugar, and hydrogenated oils, then fried at
high temperatures. Doughnuts may be the worst food you can possibly eat
to raise your risk of cancer.
/\ __
\ .-':::.
\ :::::|\
|,\:::'/ \
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`-. \ ___
`-. | .-'';:::.
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4. French fries. Like doughnuts, French fries are made with
hydrogenated oils and then fried at high temperatures. They also
contain cancer- causing acrylamides which occur during the frying
process. They should be called cancer fries, not French fries.
.-'''''-.
|'-----'|
/`-.....-`\
| -
>Bar Codes Tell What Country...
Buy USA Or Canada Or Your Country etc...
http://www.snopes.com/politics/business/barcodes.asp
---
...Cool Info! Thanks Linda!
-<>-
/'\
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_____'-.-`_______________________'-..-'____
s i t b a c k r i d e 'n' r e l a x
r e c u m b e n t b i c y c l e s
____________________________________________
>Downhill bike race in Chile is insanity at its finest
Bike Race
http://tinyurl.com/4f4xhyb
---
...Aww, this was fun! Back on my bike again! Thanks Linda!
===============================================================
>-->From The MouthPiece:
.=""--._
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>** What The New Job-Lingo Really Means **
JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY - We have no time to train
you.
CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE - We don't pay enough to expect
that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring
guys wear earrings.
MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED - You'll be six months behind
schedule on your first day.
SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED - Some time each night and some
time each weekend.
DUTIES WILL VARY - Anyone in the office can boss you
around.
MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL - We have no quality control.
CAREER-MINDED - Female applicants must be childless (and
remain that way).
NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE - We've filled the job; our call
for resumes is just a legal formality.
SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE -
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST - You're walking into a
company in perpetual chaos.
REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS - You'll have the
responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS - Management communicates, you
listen, figure out what they want and do it.
=============================================================
>-->From Our Friend Lorraine and Becky :)
>Sister of the traveling butterflies (rabbits for easter:)
Time Passes.....
_ _
/ \ / \
{ } { }
{ { } }
\ \ / /
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Life happens.....
^ ^
^ ^
(o o)
{ | } -Wong-
"
Distance separates.....
___/~~=-,_
|~~ | ~~=--,,_ _,,-=~)
| | /_ ~~=--/_ /
\ | |__~~=--,_ /
\ | / ~~=-,_ ~~=-,__,,-=~
\ | / ~=-,__,-=~
\ | /
\|_/
( / )
_)/_\(_ Angela
/ _ \ Roberston
/ _ /'_ \
/ (*\ /*) \
/ =""=,=""= \
< ::|:: >
"=--\_^_,--="
| |
Children grow up.....
(~\ _
\ \ / \
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( =v= )
` ^ ' mh
Jobs come and go.
\\
\\_
_-~~ .\
,~ )___>
@~ / Chris Baird
\____)
Love waxes and wanes.
__
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| \ `\ /`/ \
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| | \ |
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/ /\' _|_ '/\ \
| / '-`"`-' \ |
| | | |
| \ \ / / |
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`""`""`
Men don't do what they're supposed to do...
_ _
( |\ //|
\|\\//\|
/66\
((_v.)
> "< mic
Hearts break.
\
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.( o ).
unknwon
Parents die.
(\
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X<=
/| | /
\| /__| |
\_____\ \__\
unknown
Careers end.....
/| |\
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BUT.....Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how many
miles are between you. A girl friend is never farther away than
needing her can reach...
/`\
/ : |
_.._ | '/
/` \ | /
| .-._ '-"` (
|_/ / o o\
| = () )=
\ '--`/
/ ---##&######-->From The Jokester:
____
|| |
||___|
_)__How To Tell When You Are Spending Too Much Time With Your Computer:
* You start introducing yourself as "lord at pacbell dot net"
* Your wife drapes a wig over your monitor to remind you of what
she looks like
* You check your mail. It says "no new messages". So you check it again
* Your phone bill is delivered in a box
* You name your children Eudora, Mozilla, and Dotcom
* All of your friends have an @ in their names
* You tell the cab driver you live at http://
123.elm.street/house/bluetrim.html
* You tell the kids they can't use the computer because
"Daddy's got work to do" and you don't have a job.
* You get a tattoo that says "This body best viewed with Firefox"
* You never have to deal with the busy signals because you never
log off
* You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in
front of your computer with a toilet
* You start tilting your head sideways whenever you smile :)
* Your spouse says communication is important in a marriage, so you
buy another computer and install another phone line so that the two
of you can chat
* As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road,
your first instinct is to search for the "back" button
Your computer goes down, you haven't logged in for two hours.
* You start to tremble.
* You pick up the phone and dial your Internet access number.
* You try to mimic computer noise in order to connect.
-<>-
____
|| |
||___|
_)__DOS Days Remembered
Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key 3.
Buy a Pentium so you can reboot faster.
2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
C:WINDOWS C:WINDOWSGO C:PCCRAWL
C:DOS C:DOSRUN RUNDOSRUN
-{----- The information went data way ---------[ 11.
Best file compression around:
"DEL ." = 100% compression
The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
The name is Baud......, James Baud.
BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!
C: Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..
Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!"
As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope) 22. Backups? We don' NEED no
steenking backups.
E Pluribus Modem
... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
Ethernet (n): something used to catch the Etherbunny
A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.
An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.
CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C. (Y/n)?
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord.
11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium.
24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case...coincidence?
Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .
Who's General Failure & why is he reading my disk?
Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.
RAM disk is not an installation procedure.
Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...
All computers wait at the same speed.
DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors.
Go ahead, make my data!
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....
Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage.
Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!!
All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
"640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981
DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS
Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
Press any key...... no, No, NO!! Not THAT one!
Press CTRL-ALT-DEL to continue ...
============================================================
>-->From CleanLaffs:
.-.
__ / \ __
( `'.\ /.'` )
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(__.-'/ \'-.__)/)_
\ /\ / / )
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|\ |/ | \_)
\ | | \_/
| \ /
\|/ _,
jgs / __/ /
| _/ _.'
|/__/
\
Usually the secretary at my son's school answers when I call,
but on this occasion I spoke to an unfamiliar voice. I men-
tioned this to my 11-year-old son and asked if he knew who it
was.
"It could have been Mrs. Campbell," he answered after thinking
it over. "Did it sound like she was wearing a blue coat?"
-<>-
When the wise company president learned that his employees
were tanking up on no-trace vodka martinis during their
lunch hours, he issued the following memo:
To all employees; If you must drink during your lunch hour,
please drink whiskey. It is better for our customers to
know you're drunk than to think you're stupid.
-<>-
_._
.' '.
/ \ ___
_.. _.--. | / |.' `'.
;-._ .' `\ .' `\ \| / \
.' `\/ ; / _ \.=..=./ _.' /
| `\.---._| '. .-'-.}`.<>.`{-'-. /
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( =_/ )__..-\ .'-..___.' : '.___..-'
\ }/ / ;.____.-;/\ | ` |
'--' | .' | \ \ /'. _.'
\ ' / |\.\ ; /`--.-'
) .'`-. / \ \ |`|
/__.-' \_.'jgs \ \ |-|
A property manager of single-family residence was showing a
unit to prospective tenants and asking the usual questions.
"Professionally employed?" he asked.
"We're a military family," the wife answered.
"Children?"
"Oh, yes, ages nine and twelve," she answered proudly.
"Animals?"
"Oh, no," she said earnestly. "They're very well behaved."
-<>-
Two fellows stopped into an English pub for a drink. They
called the proprietor over and asked him to settle an argu-
ment.
"Are there two pints in a quart or four?" asked one.
"There be two pints in a quart," confirmed the proprietor.
They moved back along the bar and soon the barmaid asked for
their order.
"Two pints please, miss, and the bartender offered to buy
them for us."
The barmaid doubted that her boss would be so generous, so
one of the fellows called out to the proprietor at the other
end of the bar, "You did say two pints, didn't you?"
"That's right," he called back, "two pints."
=============================================================
>-->From Laugh And Lift:
.-'`"'-. _.---.
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/ \ / \
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\ / ',,' \ /-.
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`
>Wining Respect, Being an Example
Five Ways to Be "Looked Up to" Instead of "Looked Down on"
(By Kerry Doyal - www.GetGraced.org)
[Edited]
"I tell ya, I get no respect" was Rodney Dangerfield's signature line.
The late comic built a career by proving he was disrespected, from
birth - "When I was born, the doctor slapped my mother" - to old age -
"I told the doctor I wanted a second opinion. He said, 'Okay, you're
ugly, too'."
As humorous as he sometimes was, there is little funny about being
disrespected or un-respectable. Respect is something we should all seek
to earn, not demand or expect because of power or position. It is
secured, or forfeited by our lives.
We are peculiar about matters of respect, often freely giving it to
some who have done little to earn it - the pretty, celebrities, the
wealthy, the gifted. Conversely, we withhold it from many with no good
cause - those of us who are less than stunning, minorities, the
disabled, the poor.
, ,
/////|
///// |
///// |
|~~~| | |
|===| |/|
| B |/| |
| I | | |
| B | | |
| L | /
| E | /
|===|/
jgs '---'
Back in the day - Jesus' - older people were given respect for their
years & hopefully attained wisdom. Longevity got you more than wrinkles
and a good parking spot for your camel. There was a deference given,
appreciation, honor. My how things have changed.
The Apostle Paul wrote to his coworker, Timothy, advising him how to
earn respect. Timothy was a interim pastor in Ephesus, getting the
church organized, putting leaders in place, correcting errors, teaching
and defending the truth.
Timothy was seen as young for the role he was fulfilling - giving
spiritual guidance to a group of God's people. Some looked down on him
for being young. Paul told him how to fight this: be respectable, set
an example. He listed five encompassing areas to which his young
apprentice should attend with diligence.
Tired of being looked down on? Wondering what it takes to get a little
respect? Want a practical list of how to be a good example? Have I got
a verse for you! Here is 1 Timothy 4:12:
Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers,
in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.
(KJV)
The prophet Isaiah confessed to the LORD that he had unclean lips and
lived among a potty mouth people (Is. 6:1-8). He was cleansed and used
by God to speak His word. That is not a bad example of how to be a
respectable example with our mouths.
It should not just be X-rated language that concerns us, but unkind
things we say, gossip we spread, harsh words with which we pierce
others, good things we leave unsaid. People we respect live out Psalm
39:1: " I said, "I will watch my ways and keep my tongue from sin..."
Here is a great memory verse: "Let no corrupt communication proceed out
of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it
may minister grace unto the hearers." (Ephesians 4:29 - KJV)
Lift up this prayer from Psalm 19:14: "May the words of my mouth and
the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD..."
Our conduct, patterns of life help define us to others. Kids feel they
have control over very little, but even they - like we big people -
create their reputation. "Even a child is known by his actions, by
whether his conduct is pure and right" (Proverbs 20:11).
Dr. Luke wrote this about the preteen Jesus: "He went down to Nazareth
with them and was obedient to [His folks].... Jesus grew in wisdom and
stature, and in favor with God and men" (Luke 2:51, 52 - bracketed text
added).
To be a role model in your conduct, like Timothy, "watch your life and
doctrine closely" (1 Timothy 4:16; see also 1 Tim. 6:10-12 & 2 Tim.
2:22-26).
Want to test your love life? Read 1 Corinthians 13 and replace the word
"love" with your name. The statement that sounds least like you is
where you need to work.
"Joan is patient, Max is kind. Robin does not envy, Jeff does not
boast, Laura is not proud. Jim is not rude, Sandy is not self-seeking,
Karter is not easily angered, Anna keeps no record of wrongs. Deanna
does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Peter always
protects, Richard trusts, Mike always hopes, Cindy perseveres. Beth
never fails."
How do you model an intangible like faith? Proverbs 3:3-6 beautifully
ties in love and faith / faithfulness and their connection to
reputation:
"Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck,
write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a
good name in the sight of God and man. Trust in the LORD with all your
heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways
acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."
Since faith comes by taking in God's word (Romans 10:17), study the
lives of faith set forth in Hebrews 11. There we learn: "without faith
it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must
believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek
him" (vs. 6).
Finally, in "purity show yourself an example." In such dirty days, how
can we hope to be spiritually, mentally, relationally clean? Scripture
asks and answers this question:
"How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your
word. I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your
commands. I have hidden your word in my heart, that I might not sin
against you" (Psalm 119:9-11).
Like Timothy, we should "flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue
righteousness, faith, love and peace along with those who call on the
Lord out of a pure heart" (2 Tim. 2:22; see also 1 John 1:5-2:2).
On long car trips, we give kids something to keep them busy and out of
trouble. In our long journey of life under God's sun / Son, [these] are
five areas that should help keep us busy and increasingly out of
trouble. And even become respectable saved sinners who are decent
examples.
-<>-
The Laugh
\\\
____ ________```
\ =|- [________] \
| =| | _ | | \ __
ejm |__=|- O--(_) `.______.' \ O=======(__)
/|\
(/(|(\
>You Know You're a Bad Cook if...
- The last time you tried to make toast tthe kitchen caught on fire
- You make tuna noodle surprise for your family and the surprise is
that it glows in the dark!
- Your homemade bread can be used as a dooor stop.
- The leftover crumbs make a great replaccement for kitty litter.
- Your kids know what exactly peas porriddge in a crockpot nine days old
tastes like.
- The EPA requires that all your garbage cans be marked with large
bright red 'biohazard' symbols.
- You use the smoke alarm as a cooking tiimer.
- Your dog goes to the neighbors' to eat..
- When you barbecue, two of your kids holld water guns and the third
stands ready by the phone with 911 on speed-dial.
- You've used three boxes of scouring padds, a bottle of Drano and a
crowbar, and that macaroni and cheese still won't let go of the pan.
- Your family prays AFTER they eat!
-<>-
| .--. .--. /
\|/ O /\ |--.| .-. / \ /
--*-- ( ) \/\--|__|+./ | / `-- -- '
/|\ (__.) \___ \ `-'
| (__ _.) | X | - In space,
|XXxx) /Oooo/\/ no one
|XXX/ / \/ can eat
|XX/ / .| | ice cream
|X/ \ \| |
Nigel Wale
>Three Astronauts
NASA planned a mission that involved three astronauts spending two
years in space. Because of the extended duration, each was allowed to
take 200 pounds of baggage, with no restricions.
The first astronaut decided to take along his wife, the second decided
to take along books to learn how to speak German, while the third
astronaut decided to take along cigarettes.
Two years later, when the space shuttle landed, there was a big crowd
waiting to welcome them home.
First came the first astronaut and his wife and each of them had a baby
in their arms.
Next, out came the second astronaut speaking fluent German.
They both gave their speeches and got a rousing applause.
Suddenly out came the third astronaut with a cigarette in his mouth.
He walked up to the podium and snarled to the crowd and asked, "Anybody
got a match??"
-<>-
>Quick Jokes
"Your Honour, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for
my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week
ago and barely knows his way around. What's more, he only speaks a few
words of English."
The Judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can
you speak?"
The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!"
---------
Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are
removing weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes
out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
---------
_
/ |
//||
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,-' ' `-. ((//
( ) )//
( / -')))o ,' /
( ( /() / /
o ) / (/\ (,_(
O(O / ' / > |/ `\.
o/ (_ ._/ '. ||
\ _\ __,'() ,-||
`-( / /( | () ()
/ ( `-',-.'`v/ )/_
|/O `-._( `." `-'\\
// `---.-'\
)\.O _ .' )
/ `-. / |\/-.___,-./
| O| ' ( \ / |\\
/ ( ;\ Y ,-'(\\)
| ) ,-./ ( | ( \`
| ,-' ./ -^_/-. `.
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| (),-. _,--. | | ' ;
\ ,-` ))\ \ | \ _,' ;
( ,'/ ) |/,--\ ___))`-'` gpyy
`-'-'~~~``---"" '"'"'`
When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless
every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past).
For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli
would say, 'And all girls.'
This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this closing.
My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, 'Kelli, why do you
always add the part about all girls?'
Her response, 'Because everybody always finishes their prayers by
saying 'All Men'!'
---------
On the first day of school, about midmorning, the kindergarten teacher
said, "If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers." A
little voice from the back of the room asked, "How will that help?"
--------------
A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while
they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's
artwork.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked
what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "but no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the girl
replied, "They will in a minute."
---------------
At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything,
including human beings. Little Johnny, a child in the kindergarten
class, seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created
out of one of Adam's ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were
ill, and said, "Johnny, what is the matter?" Little Johnny responded,
"I have a pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."
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Identity Theft 3
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Humor In Religion
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Life's Little Oops 8
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Last Day!
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Who Is Jesus Christ?
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Easy-Does-It Home Recipes: Desserts
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/easy.html
Animated Angel, Bible, Church, Cross, Easter
http://www.ShangralaFamilyFun.com/agifs.html
-<>-
>From TheMouth:
Mini Putt Game
The mouse is your club on this digital green. Put Tiger
to shame... when it comes to golf.
Visit: http://bit.ly/9MKjn8
SpongeBob SquarePants in Bikini Bottom Bowling
Click on the slider bar to make SpongeBob bowl. If the
sliding clam is in the middle of the bar when you click,
he'll knock down all the coral and roll a strike! Are
you ready? See if you can beat my score of 183.
Play: http://bit.ly/c0WLkQ
-<>-
>From LynnLynn's Links:
Parent VS Kids
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsfsdj.htm
Parking 1
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdfsd.htm
Parking 2
http://www.buffaloschips.com/asddsas.htm
Parking3
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gdfgds.htm
Peeling
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsfasd.htm
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>-->Quotes & Thunkers:
"They've updated the Seven Wonders of the World. Here's
the real wonder of the world. How I've managed to stay
on television for 30 years."
- David Letterman
"Here is a very odd story. A woman in Tennessee is now suing
a local pharmacy after buying what she thought were birth
control patches. They turned out to be nicotine patches. The
good news, her new baby is now down to a half a pack a day."
--Jay Leno
"Over the weekend, Bill and Hillary Clinton were spotted
hiking in a national park near Washington. Yeah, after a
10-mile hike, Bill said 'I just can't seem to shake her'"
--Dave Letterman
"A new survey says that New Jersey is the most livable state
in the U.S. The survey has a margin of error of 100 percent."
--Conan O'Brien
"Take calculated risks. That is quite different from being
rash."
- George S. Patton
"Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad
memory."
- Albert Schweitzer
"Nothing is too small to know, and nothing is too big to
attempt."
- William Van Horne
"Man is what he believes."
- Anton Chekhov
"I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't
have to."
- Elvis Presley
"Nothing you can't spell will ever work."
- Will Rogers
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-->This is for all you who love food and DARE to make it at home Yep.
You guessed it - Recipes. These are Tried and True, Yummy to the Tummy,
good old fashioned home cooking recipes that are EASY to do :)
Visit Shangy's Easy-Does-It Home Recipes:
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Home Recipes
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