Weighty issues

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Would Gov. Christie be Gov. Christie without his familiar, um, circumferential amplitude?

His heft has become part of his persona — even part of his shtick.

On Letterman, just as the host was broaching the topic of gubernatorial girth, Christie upstaged the comedian by casually reaching into his pocket, pulling out a donut and wolfing it down in the midst of the query.

Could a slimmed-down version of Christie match such comedic improvisation?

Can anyone visualize a svelte Chrsitie pacing about at one of his patented town meetings, mic in hand, trading wits with some smart aleck in the audience?

Or — while working away on an icecream cone — getting back in a heckler’s face on the boardwalk?

Could a reduced-size Christie pull any of this off?

Think of the material the great Jackie Gleason would have sacrificed had he decided to go skinny.

These weighty questions are posed, of course, due to the New York Post revelation that the governor secretly had “lap-band” stomach surgery done last Feb. 16 — the equivalent of going nuclear in the dieting wars.

Gosh, what if a side effect of the procedure is to render the governor not only lighter but more laid-back, more inclined to turn the other cheek rather than give as good as he gets? What if our governor becomes a really nice guy, meek, even?

The meek may inherit the earth, but can they win the presidency? Or even a second term as Jersey governor.

Was this drastic step necessary?

Afterall, the Supersized Christie survived Jon Corzine’s campaign millions and his unsubtle ads charging that Christie as a U.S. Attorney “threw his weight around.”

Hey, those extra pounds may have brought in some extra votes. The overweight constituency can’t be minimized.

The governor already reportedly has shed 40 pounds after the procedure. If the trend continues, will he lose his huge voter-identity advantage to the new Christie? Was he willing to take the risk just to give his sole Democratic challenger so far, state Sen. Barbara Buono, a sporting chance?

Well, no point fretting over such concerns now. What’s been done’s been done.

The popular wisdom is that the weight procedure is proof that Christie’s definitely in the running for President.

He insists, however, that his extreme dieting measure is for his family, the four kids and Mary Pat, the First Lady. It’s about having turned 50 and starting to worry about his health and “wanting to be there for them,” he said.

That’s a noble sentiment, no gainsaying it. But what about the potential economic impact of this Christie move?

Without insults, digs and sly allusions to his weight, hecklers, political foes, comedians, editorial cartoonists and snide commentators — surely a major economic sector — will be put at risk. Hopefully there’ll be grants and other initiatives to help out here.