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Wednesday, 24 May 2017

PREGNANCY #2: My Hopes and Wishes for Second Labour

My labour with Isabella wasn't the most straightforward; it was long and ended in needing assistance (not something any pregnant lady wants to hear!). You can read Birth Story: Part 1 here and Part 2 here if you're like me and love a good birth story. Despite that those experiences haven't left me dreading labour round two by any means, in fact there are certain aspects I'm quite looking forward to. Crazy I know. Obviously the end part, when they hand you your squishy (and often pretty slimy) bundle of joy, but also the being looked after part too. I know that probably sounds really selfish or self-centred and I'm really not that kind of person, but I am looking forward to someone caring about me for a bit. That hasn't happened since giving birth last time, as a parent you are constantly giving/looking after others so for the tables to turn for a few hours will be a real treat.

We all know that writing a birth plan is barely worth the paper it is written on, babies have a tendency to lead the way with what happens during labour don't they? However, there were some wishes I had on my birth plan last time that will be returning this time. The first being no pethidine because it can make the baby drowsy if born relatively soon after having it administered and that can make feeding more tricky. Now this was on my birth plan last time and I ignored it, desperate for any pain relief on the induction ward and that was all they could offer. They gave it to me alongside an anti-sickness drug, which did allow me to get a couple of hours sleep. But when I woke up in so much pain again I requested more, after lots of persuading I managed to get half a dose but no anti-sickness this time. A few minutes later I was being sick, whilst contracting, crying and generally being in a lot of pain. Isabella wasn't born for a few days after having the pethidine, so it didn't end up being an issue but I am determined to try and completely avoid it this time!

My husband cut the umbilical cord last time and he'd love to do it again this time, so that's on the birth plan. I didn't really take in him doing it last time, so I want to make a conscious effort to watch up/take photos this time.

Last time I had booked into a midwife-led unit that was part of the hospital, with the hope that I could make the most of their fantastic facilities. We're talking birthing pools in every room, cribs instead of those plastic wheel along cots you get on the labour ward, double bed, birthing ball, tv, low lighting etc. I had a straightforward pregnancy, but when my waters broke and I didn't go into established labour quick enough I was refused entry. No wonder it was always so quiet when we visited - I don't think many people get in! Anyway, after a lot of thought I've decided not to book in for the midwife-led unit again. Part of the reason is because they pride themselves in being able to get you home within hours of birth and in all honesty I don't want that (or at least I think I don't right now). Another reason is that I now know how painful labour is, how I deal with it and how much I will probably need all the drugs!

Something I regret doing last time was being so eager to leave hospital as soon as I could. In hindsight I wish I had stayed a bit longer, though I'm not even sure if it was an option or not. I had taken for granted having a bed the moved with the press of a button, having 'in the know' midwives around 24 hours a day to ask advice or help and having meals prepared! I was in so much pain post birth that not having these things when I got home made life extremely tough for a while. I'm crossing EVERYTHING that I won't have to have an assisted birth again, then hopefully the recovery time won't be such a long road.

Though I'm not going for the midwife-led unit this time I am hoping for a water birth still. I've heard good things about them, especially for delivering without needing assistance so I'm eager to experience one. I know that it is really just luck if the birthing pool is free on the labour ward when I arrive, but I'm packing just in case I strike lucky and really hope it helps to keep me calmer than I was last time.

As I had an epidural last time I didn't ever get that urge to push so many woman talk about, so this time I would love to experience it. I know that means less pain relief, which does scare me and I won't be devastated if I don't, but it's something so unique that I can't imagine what it's like. That intrigues me.

16 comments

I'm sorry you didn't have a good pethidine experience. I know every woman and labour is different but I had a shot and a half with no bad effects at all. I was sick before I had it - likely from gas and air but I had that all the way through my labour and when I was put together after my c-section without being sick agaib. If baby is still back to back you may find that you don't get that urge to push either. Jenson went back to back at the end and I never had the urge. I just remember hanging over the end of the bed with a not very nice midwife telling me to push like I needed to poo for two hours rather than getting me the help I needed. Best of luck and I hope you get the birth you want :) A friend of mine had a water birth and it sounds amazing.

I didn't have a birth plan tbh I just went with it, but if I had another one I would be like you and thinking about what I would do differently (if possible!). I had pethidine which really helped me & I would love husband to cut the cord next time as it wasn't possible with Sophie :( Hope all goes well for you!! xx

Your first labour sounds a lot like my wife's first. She had 26 hours of endurance and ended up in theatre with the tugging and stitching that that involves. Second time round was a home birth that was beautiful, smooth and as planned. All to say, I guess, is that the first doesn't define the second. Sounds like you've processed the first labour well - hope the second one goes more as planned :)

Best of luck for the delivery - stay positive! I did hypno-birthinhg for my second birth and ended up having my daughter in a pool in my living room with no medicine or pain relief at all. It took guts and determination but I dislike hospitals so much and I always say that's what got my through it!

I have never been pregnant but I think it is great that you are sticking with the things you learnt last time round and avoiding things like pethedine which were not a good experience for you. I hope your labor goes well x

I had vague birth plans but basically they said get the baby out as fast as possible and give me drugs when I ask for them!I said I didn't want an epidural but asked for one each time but it was always too late (in the last couple of minutes before baby arrived!)

My first labour was tough! The second time around, I went with a more relaxed 'go with the flow' kind of attitude and everything went to plan. I think sometimes all we can do is just 'go with the flow'. All the very best with your second labour :) x

I am sorry you didnt have the experience you wanted last time. It is worth doing a plan though as your body knows what it is doing this time and hopefully it will be a better experience. Always worth being prepared though

Each birth has been different for my three. The first was on gas+air and he was born pretty quickly with little tearing. My other two both were induced, which I think was unnecessary as we were barely at week 41. But all births went well. I appreciate that this isn't always the case. I think, if I can say anything, is to trust the signals your body is giving you. They are the best navigation system :)