As doing research for an Oral Communications project I've been balls-deep into Andy Kaufman material. As much as I thought I knew already about my idol, I was surprised to find out some things about his life that I was completely unaware of. Here are some maybe previously unknown or uncommon Andy facts.

1. Andy never brushed his teeth on Sunday. Andy Kaufman would sometimes spend hours in the bathroom getting ready for the day, and he would often only use a toothbrush once before throwing it away but on Sunday he chose the stank mouth.

cereal on Saturday means stank on Sunday

2. Andy had a daughter.

Her name is Maria Colonna and Andy had her when he was 20. At the time his girlfriend was 17 and they gave her up for adoption since neither of them wanted to get married. Maria never knew Andy Kaufman was her father until 1992.

3. Foreign Man was created when Andy was mugged in New York City.
This was a story told by Andy (50/50 shot of it being true). He claims that as he was loading his vehicle after a gig and he was stuck up by a mugger in New York City. He thought of foreign man on the fly to maybe confuse the assailant enough to where he would take pity on him and leave him alone. According to Andy a mixture of frustration and pity kept him safe that night from the mugger and his idea for Foreign Man (Latka) was born.

4. Elvis' Favorite Impersonation of himself was Andy Kaufman.
When Andy went to Graceland to pay tribute to his long-time hero. During his trip he broke off from the group with best friend Bob Zmuda and ended up finding a video of Andy doing his Elvis impression in The King's personal video collection. Andy was stunned with joy. So much to where he took a dump on Elvis' infamous death toilet.

5. Micheal Richards was the only one "in" on the Friday's incident.
It was revealed that Micheal Richards was the only one in the entire building that knew what Andy was up to during this staged brawl. He simply stated that he knew people who were convinced that it wasn't real and he wanted to prove them wrong.

6. When Andy was stressed or bored he would assume part-time work.

Andy worked as a part-time busboy at Posh Bagel on Santa Monica Boulevard and at Jerry's Famous Deli in Studio City. He claimed that it relaxed and grounded him. For what it's worth his employers said he was fantastic and was low-key enough never to get noticed due to the unbelievable idea that the Taxi mega-star would be working as a busboy anywhere.

7. Everytime he stepped on an airplane he went right foot first.

Everytime he stepped onto a plane it was right foot first and he even required it of his travel companions. According to Bob Zmuda Andy skipped this ritual on his last flight before he died, but it seems a little too dramatic for me to believe.

8. Andy Kaufman would "floss" after playing Tony Clifton.

After Andy would drink, smoke and eat meat after playing Clifton he would go on a strict body cleansing regiment. He would soak 15 feet of cheesecloth and swallow it whole. He would then wait for his body to pass it and pull it out of his ass in some sort of "internal flossing". It was said that Elton John (for whatever reason) gave Jim Carey 60 feet of cheescloth as a gift on the set of Man on the Moon as joke.

It comes out your butt ... get it?

9. Andy wore "authentic" Elvis gear for his NBC special.

A majority of his budget for the show was invest into getting Elvis' real costume designer in to make him two authentic Elvis costumes. It was even said that Andy paid money to get buttons that had actually popped off of Elvis' jumpsuits.

buttons courtesy of Elvis' fat ass

10. Andy wanted to levitate.

Andy actually left in mid-season of Taxi to attended a Transcendental Meditation retreat in Switzerland where they claimed that after 6 weeks they would teach you to levitate. Andy returned after the trip claiming it was, in fact, real but in order to do it you had to "purify" yourself by staying celibate for the rest of your life. Andy was not on board with that.

Another review from our friend Shane Jenkins. You can follow him on twitter @shanewastestime or check out his site http://razedbywolves.com . We love his non-pretentious and honest reviews. I've seen alot of movies this year I really wouldn't have checked out without his good word.

90. Silver Linings Playbook

I'm not much of a Bradley Cooper fan. He's handsome, but in the least-interesting way possible. He doesn't ever really embody his characters, like he's either holding back or just not very good. And he mostly makes movies I don't want to see.

But (like Michael Keaton says via sample in Prince's 1989 inexplicable hit "Batdance") stop the press! Because Silver Linings Playbook has done the unthinkable, and made me an instant B. Coop fan. This is maybe the first real performance I've ever seen him give, and damned if he doesn't nail it! As a recovering mental patient trying to regain the trust of his family and estranged wife, he gives us a character who is fighting with his emotions at all times, and Cooper really makes this struggle believable.

It helps that he's surrounded by a dream supporting cast. Jennifer Lawrence is just flat-out fantastic, and I hope she picks up an Oscar nom. And Robert DeNiro is the best he's been in decades, with a light in his eyes that suggests he's been roused from the sleepwalking he's been getting paid for since, say, Midnight Run and Goodfellas. Plus Chris Tucker is back, and is charming and funny in his few scenes. And with Oscar nominee Jacki Weaver's great turn as DeNiro's Philadelphia housewife, this is probably the best ensemble cast of the year.

One treat for locals is how Silver Linings gets Philadelphia right. If you love *or* hate the Eagles, you will recognize the truth of its sport scenes and related dialogue. But more than just that, it captures the mindset of the city's sports fans, and even the mindset of the city as a whole. We are frequently the butt of jokes (and are often the ones making the jokes), but to be a Philadelphian is to balance hardships and disappointments with optimism and the hope the best is still to come. For all its faults and problems, I genuinely love Philadelphia, and the fact that Silver Linings has captured all of these contrasting emotions and wrapped it in a moving, crowd-pleasing package, worthy of being placed along side Rocky Balboa running up those stairs, makes me genuinely love it too.

Ian: To answer this question, we have to go back to 1998, when Acclaim, famous for their line of well received WWF games, was approached by a masked Canadian, carrying what appeared to be a large, curved wooden pole. The video game titan was already on the decline, experiencing general criticism, culminating with the pointedly dismissive "Howard and NESter" cartoon wherein, both characters depicted playing Bust-A-Move, NESter turns to his friend and remarks, "Everyone knows it sucks."

Dissed!

That would have been the final nail in the coffin for this struggling company, were it not for the masked Canadian's proposal of issuing a new type of sports game, one never before attempted on American soil. The premise was simple enough: 10 guys walk onto a sheet of ice and use their poles to knock around a black disk. Two cyborgs at each end try to grab the disk and lay on top of it...

A cyborg? Why not?

At this point, Acclaim was willing to try anything to keep their heads above water, even deal with a devilish Canadian (a bit redundant, I guess) and they went to their local pond for a demon-stration. It was an absolutely disorganized mess! The guys were falling everywhere, calling their shots, stalling--

Some how convinced by this mysterious masked foreigner, Acclaim went ahead with production on a new game, and a new past-time: NHL Breakaway. It sold moderate units and Acclaim was spared the axe once more, but at what cost? Kids everywhere began fashioning their own poles out of wood, pine, maple, and gourds. They were utilizing blades to give themselves some extra height and as it turns out, it was all part of the devious Northerner's plan. Canada, as we know, has been very far behind in the arms race and these curved poles were their first line of defense. They proliferated the equipment and the ethos to a new generation of Americans, encouraging them to "breakaway" from their sovereign soil and take up the cause of the great white beyond. They entice them with the rank of captain and encourage a violent lifestyle

What we were promised.

And who was this strange foreign man with the ridiculous accent? While his identity has never been revealed to satisfaction, many have speculated it is this man, who single handedly wants to destroy youth culture and wage war on America with poorly constructed tools of destruction.

Is this man a violent criminal???

In recent years, we've seen a decline in the intelligence and behavioral mores, and it is likely due to this influence of Canada's war machine in its scope and deviance. That's why they call em loonies.

American youth on the decline

So, Brandon. Are you ready to take up arms against these heavily suited soldiers from above? Will you, yes YOU, answer the call when the snowy menace marches on us, in their crudely fashioned armor and weaponry?

Does this scare you???

Ernie H.

Pittsburgh,
PA

"What is your all time favorite album, no throw away
tracks?"

Ryan: Thank you for your question, Ernie. This was a very tough
question, but I was very excited to try and give it a go. I have many albums
that overall I think are very solid. Growing up, it would have been easy. The
answer would have been Metallica's …And Justice for All. As I have gotten older,
I still have the same love for that album, but would no longer say that it is
my favorite of all time.

There are many albums that I considered, and all were
different genres. I considered DZK’s “Not your average flow” bootleg, Pantera's
“Cowboys from Hell” album all the way to Garth Brooks “No Fences”. Though there
were many albums that I felt deserved consideration, I always came back to the
same album…

My favorite album of all time is Corrosion of Conformity’s
“Deliverance”

Deliverance Album Cover

The album was released in 1994. Up until this point in their
career, COC was known for being a “Metalcore” band. Basically, they combined
punk music and heavy metal (not to be mistaken with Thrash metal). Unlike
previous albums, this was a step in a very different direction for the band.
This album is a combination of Southern Rock/Heavy Metal/Hard Rock with a taste
of country and a lot of blues licks. All that said, many fans referred to the
band as being a “Stoner Band” from this album, and on.

Not only was this album a huge shift in musical direction,
but there was a lineup change. This was the first album where Pepper Keenan
(also a rhythm guitarist for the “Super group” named Down) sang lead vocals. On
the bands previous album (Blind), Pepper was just a guitarist, minus his doing
lead vocals on the track “Vote with a Bullet”. The addition of Pepper on vocals
totally changed the overall sound of the band, not only musically but also the
overall flow of the music. The rest of the line up was the same, with Woody
Weatherman on guitars, Reed Mullen on drums and Mike Dean on the bass guitar.

from left to right: Mike Dean, Woody Weatherman, Pepper Keenan and Reed Mullen

I have been a huge fan of the band since I was in grade 9. Not only is Deliverance my favorite album, but they are also my favorite band. So much so that when I was 17, I got this questionable tattoo that was done in a strangers kitchen. Dont judge me...

This album does not have a single “weak” track on it. From
start to finish, this is a Kick Ass album. If you enjoy solid music structure,
smooth time transitions and a solid bass and drum line then you may love this
album.

Here is a quick breakdown of the Tracks on the album, plus links to where you can hear each song.

01.Heaven’s not Overflowing: One of my favorite tracks from the album. High energy, great
chorus and a very solid start to the album. Plus Peppers vocals make him sound
like a beast! I even stole the track name to name a former band that I was once
a part of.

02.Albatross: This song was one of the singles
that were released from this album. Like many songs, this has the same flow as
a Black Sabbath song. Very dark guitar riff and lyrics.

03.Clean my Wounds: Another single from the
album. In interviews, the band has reffered to this as their “Thin Lizzy
track”. This comment is fair with the flow of the song. The solo of this song
was the first lead that I learned on guitar. A very kick ass song

04.Without Wings: This track is a short
instrumental. Mostly just acoustic guitars, this track has a very classical
feel to it.

06.Senor Limpio: Very quick paced song. I love
the effect on the vocals and the drums in this track make it for me. Excellent
fills and killer lead. Such a dirty sounding solo.

07.Mano DeMono: Another acoustic instrumental. The flow of this track flows into the
following track beautifully. Great production from John Custer.

08.Seven Days:
This track is one of my favorite as far as the guitar riffs and overall flow.
Very slow but with a solid crunch sound. I also love the guitar harmonies in
the track.

09.#2121313: Another instrumental. Very trippy
guitar sounds and what appears to be a clock ticking towards the track. Sounds
great but is tough to explain.

10.My Grain: A very high energy song. Fast, slow
chorus’ and a very awesome bass solo which you don’t hear enough in music.

11.Deliverance: This track has Mike Dean on lead
vocals. Very laid back verse with catchy guitars through the chorus’. Very
solid track.

12.Shake Like You: Another very heavy track. This
song is very dark, very heavy and has pretty creepy vocals. One of my favorite
tracks off of the album.

13.Shelter: A acoustic ballad. This song is
pretty sad actually. Excellent slide guitar and great lyrics. This track was
one of the first ones I heard when looking into the album growing up.

14.Pearls Before Swine: By far my favorite track
off of this album. Built around a fantastic bass lick. Very dark, the verses
are whispered and the chorus is very heavy and filled with Pepper screaming
like only he can. Great track and ends with a dude digging in dirt while
whistling. Great ending to my favorite album of all time.

I have not known another person who would say this is their
favorite album. I know many COC fans and most of them prefer different albums,
but this is my favorite by far. That is the beauty of music, you can like
whatever you want!

Thank you again for your question, I hope you enjoyed
reading this and pleas feel free to share more questions.

Yes, this is bad timing, but after being cajoled into pretending to sing
this so many times this summer, the song piqued our curiosity. We are
all baseball lovers and lovers of all things athletic and American at Con strux nunchuc.x

Katie Casey was baseball mad,
Had the fever and had it bad.
Just to root for the home town crew,
Ev'ry sou Katie blew.

Ian: I originally wanted to talk about the history behind this great tune, but then realized wikipedia exists. So much to say right off the bat (heh heh) here. I can only assume we are talking about just one person here, one daft chick with two first names. Okay. Why ask her about the temperament of a sporting event. Back in the days when this song was wrote, baseball was idyllic and gentle. I can't imagine fans acting back then like Bill Murray does now. But why would she go see the game f she had The Fever (scarlet or typhoid, they don't say). This girl is very ill and apparently very poor, too. She has no money to get into the park, so she's goes out an blows sous for quick spendin cash. If you've ever met a Wrigleyville resident, you know this isn't too hard to imagine. Oh, poor Katie.

Ryan: Thank you for the songs history, Ian! I would like to say that I am very excited that we are doing this GREAT SONG. I am sure a Canadian can contribute plenty to a song that is about Americas Sport. I am not a baseball fan at all... I was when I was a kid but stopped enjoying the sport when I was about 10. If I did watch it, I am sure my favourite team would still be the Montreal Expos! Also, Bill Murray is my favourite actor!

On a Saturday, her young beau

Called to see if she'd like to go,

To see a show but Miss Kate said,

"No, I'll tell you what you can do."

Ian: I wouldn't be surprised if the beau were me. All the guy wants to do is take her out for a matinee and instead of being flattered that any guy at all would take her out at all ever, especially since she's going to die within the week of some sort of syphilis or rheumatoidly arthritic tensions, she gets all picky. Not, "Oh a show would be a lovely break from all the handies i've been givin away in front of the baseball stadium." No. Rather, "Listen bub. I'm a busy lady. I'll tell ya where ta stick yer matinay!" Not only is she immoral, but detestable too!

Ryan: I agree with Ian here, she does sound easy. I am not sure what is here to analyse. It is clear what is going on. Either this choice is a shot at me, of we truly are questioning the Chux Chasers intelligence.

"Take me out to the ball game,

Take me out with the crowd.

Buy me some peanuts and cracker jack,

I don't care if I never get back,

Ian: I'm all for granting a woman's dying wish, but really I think a crowd is the last place for a diseased hooker to be trotting around, especially when every last male attendee, or "sou", will immediately recognize her. And she's pushin the limit here. Buy me this buy me that, because I damn well can't afford it myself! And then just as my man, Beau, gets ready to put her down in her place, she rubs her illness in his face. And she's a plain hipster about it. "Yeah, I might die, right here in the ballpark, probably while orally stimulating the wiener vendor, but I don't care. Whatever." Yeah, whatever, Katie Casey.

Ryan: I am impressed by your breakdown here. Some how you turned 4 simple sentences into a book. She wants to go to the ball game and she wants cracker jacks. I would ask for one one of those huge pretzels Those are SWEET!!

Let me root, root, root for the home team,

If they don't win it's a shame.

For it's one, two, three strikes, you're out,

At the old ball game."

Ian: First off, shut up and sit down you lying skankwoggle. Second, it's probably not healthy for you to be out at all. Not for you and not for others. Now you wanna just get drunk and shout at the top of your lungs for whoever the hometown favorites are. I'm sure you know a lot about shame, though you seem to have none, you walk-of-shame struttin Jezebel. And don't think that just because you know one rule in baseball that it makes you a damn expert.

Ryan: I think the writer of this song is questioning the intelligence of baseball fans. I knew the basic rules when I was young, so I imagine the average fan already understands these things. And unlike Ian, I am pretty sure that that is the only rule in baseball..

Katie Casey saw all the games,

Knew the players by their first names;

Told the umpire he was wrong,

All along good and strong.

Ian: I guess this Beau ended up being duped into getting her season tickets. Then she'd probably fake sick with him and go with some other guy, then sneak off at the game to... aherm... get to know the players and shout out their first names. Again, just because she knows how strikes work (and I doubt even that!), she thinks she can sass the man who calls the shots, seeming healthier than ever. What's up with that Katie? Looks like you only get The Fever when it's convenient or when you need the pity, eh?

Ryan: I will be honest... I do not know this Katie girl, but she sounds like a bitch. If I was the dude in this "song" I would never take her anywhere. I think he could do a lot better. Though Ian and I have not seen eye to eye lately, I think as far as this girl is concerned we are on the same page..

Many of you have seen Ryan's video from last week, and we agreed to make a public apology at Ryan's request for behind the scenes behavior that he's felt to be inappropriate and unproductive. This is the best we were able to come up with all weekend. Thank you to those of you who've remained our fans in the interim and in light of Ryan's accusations.

We've had a great response so far for our new feature, and we hope our answers have proved helpful, insightful and entertaining. Please be sure to continue submitting questions on Facebook (Construx Nunchux), Twitter (@ConstruxNunchux), and email (Construxnunchux@gmail.com) .This week's Construx Consultants are Ryan (@ryannoble66) and Ian, for your consolation and consideration.

Canaan P. Pittsburgh, PA

"If you could pick your top 3 "Man, it would be awesome to have that job!", what would they be? And dont make it about money!!!"

RYAN:

Chad D. Pittsburgh, PA

"If Smurfs hold their breath, what color do they turn?"

IAN: I am so glad you've asked this question, Chad, because it gives me the wonderful opportunity to educate the public at large about the proper anatomy and behavioral patterns of these seemingly whimsical creatures. First, it's important to note that Smurfs do not breathe. Smurfs are the proposed and confirmed next step in our evolution, assigned the taxonomical nomenclature Homo Schtroumpfus. As such, they have developed a physiological method for systematic stasis that requires neither breathing nor oxygen.

It may clarify further to demystify the physical representation of a smurf. It is not the anthropomorphized biped presented in animation and illustration in the Western world. In fact, we can't really display what a Smurf looks like because its shape is incomprehensible by the human eye. Here's the closest approximation we've been able to verify:

So, what do Smurfs require, and how to the acquire it? Since their system functions in such a radically different way than ours, the most simplistic way to describe it necessitates a little bit of inaccurate description, but can be summed up by saying that they absorb the nutrients they need, Thiamin, Riboflavin and Neon being the primary ones, through the skin. To accelerate this process, they have created a very exact, methodical series of movements enabling them to absorb that shit all the quicker. Here is a brief, and closely appropriated presentation approved and performed by a half-man, half-smurf.

Of course, popular culture has attempted to raise awareness by promoting this as a dance craze. Scientists and apothecaries have hypothesized several variations based on different schools of thought. The most widely accepted belief is that millenia later, Smurfs will then evolve into a race of super beings:

Both major schools of thought agree that in the distant, almost unimaginable future, our race will all evolve into a set of boneless, limbless creatures capable of taking on the shape of others, even including B-Movie plot devices.

We have received word that since the last post, that Kid Rock is now on the run. Construx Nunchux went to the underground railroad that Kid Rock was forcing cats into making train tracks but when we got there, we found a surprise. Kid Rock and all of the kittens were gone. All that was left were some rail road tools and cat poop. Clearly Rock does not feel the need to have liter boxes.. Is there no end to his madness? Kid Rock is an asshole...

So the obvious question is, "Where in the world is Kid Rock and the kittens?"

Luckily for us, we have Chux Chasers all over the world. And we have gotten updates of Kid Rock all over the globe. Sadly though, there are only a few images that have been sent to us. One thing has been consistent. No matter where he has been spotted, he has been seen running around with a basket of kittens. Here are the few pictures that we have received.

We can only assume that he is stealing kittens for this rail road. We are not sure why he is doing this, all we can do is try and stop him, and soon! It is one thing for him to slaughter music and steal peoples music, but I will be damned if I do nothing about his kitten stealing.

If you know where Kid Rock is or have any pictures of where he is, please feel free to share them with us!

As far as the Cat War itself, sadly we have nothing to report today. Both sides of the war have been very silent, and all humans who have tried entering the war grounds have been clawed and sprayed... However, we were promised an interview soon with Sgt. Buttonsworths spokescat, Oreo. Hopefully then we can give some update on the status of this awful war. Please stay tuned.