Tuesday, January 08, 2013

Of Morning Glory and Molly's Nipple

I was angry when I first heard that you had emasculated Morning Glory Road by renaming it. "Why," I wondered, "would a good man, a man who serves our Heavenly Father as an LDS High Councilman and a contributor to the Miss Lehi Pageant, do something as femunistofascistic as strip a street of a good, masculine, morning wood moniker?"

Then, I saw how you had tricked those who demanded the change. It was pure genius to rename the street, "Morning Vista Road," after the place where we god-fearing soldiers of the heterosexual lifestyle stand while peering through a window to get a glimpse of our neighbor's mighty morning staffs.

I'm wondering if you could use your skills to butch up a few other places in Utah. Wouldn't we all enjoy Molly's Nipple more if it was called "Glen Beck's Magnificent Man Teat" or "Limbaugh's Leaky Pilonidal Cyst?" I sure think so; don't you?