Monday, July 22, 2013

And to Tuesday Cain,Young lady, you are more of a woman than some women.

I'm a 14-year-old girl who has lived in Austin, Texas, my whole life. I like art, music and talking on the phone with my friends. When I grow up, I'd like to become a science teacher.I also believe in the right to choose and the separation of church and state. Or to put it another way -- to put it the way I wrote it when I was protesting at the Capitol last week:

"Jesus isn't a dick so keep him out of my vagina."

Yes, that's my sign.I came up with it last week when my friend and I were trying to think of ideas for what would get people's attention to protest the scary restrictions that are happening in my state trying to take away a woman's right to safe and accessible abortions.

It worked.

When my friend and I took turns holding the sign, one of the pictures of her went viral.Then my dad went online to defend the sign on Twitter and other online forums.That's when people started calling me a "whore."

I'm going to be honest about what it feels like to be called that as a 14-year-old girl who has never had sex and who doesn't plan to have sex anytime soon.

I feel disappointed.

It's hard for me to understand why adults would be calling me this. It's hard for me to understand why anyone would use this term for a 14-year-old girl.

It's not anyone's business, but as I said, I am a virgin, and I don't plan to have sex until I am an adult.But none of those facts make me feel any less passionate about fighting for a woman's right to choose and the separation of church and state in my home state of Texas.

I also don't think this makes me -- or any other 14-year-old girl who agrees with me -- a whore.

It simply makes us people. People who believe that abortion should be safe, legal and accessible for women. People who believe women should be in control of their bodies and should not ever have to put their lives at risk so that we don't go backwards in women's rights in this country.

I know someone who has had a few abortions. She now says that abortion is bad and she fights against a woman's right to choose.

This makes it all the more important for me to protest, even if I am only 14. In fact, my dad woke me up so that I could watch the Wendy Davis filibuster the night that she tried to prevent this legislation from passing the first time. I remember thinking that I was proud to be from Texas watching her stand up for what is right.

That was when I told my parents that I wanted to join in the protests. I have seen anti-abortion protesters at a clinic near our house, and it makes me upset to see women who are facing this hard decision being told that Jesus condemns them.

I guess I don't think it seems very Christian to me.Then again, neither does calling a 14-year-old girl a whore.

The first day that we were out protesting at the Capitol, my friend and I took turns holding up the sign I wrote, and an older man came up to us yelling right in our faces. "You two should shave your heads! You should become lesbians! No man will ever want you! You're ugly!"The police had to ask him to stop yelling at us. It was scary. But more than scaring me, what it did was make me feel even more determined to stand up and protest even louder.

I'm not going to let someone calling me a whore stop me from fighting for what is right for all women. I'm not going to let the bullies win in the fight over women's bodies.

I read some of the comments online that people said about me, and I was so proud of my dad for sticking up for me and for the sign I wrote. After a certain point, I really couldn't believe some of the comments people were writing. One person said that my parents should be arrested for child abuse and in another unbelievable comment, someone suggested that my dad must invite all my friends over to "play abortion clinic."

I'm done feeling disappointed by these attacks. That is why I'm speaking out -- even if I am only 14 years old.

But the way things are playing out everything feels reversed. Adults are not acting like adults.Normally, I prefer to look up to adults as role models. But what is happening in Texas right now it's hard to find adults who I want to look up to.I don't look up to an adult who is taking away a woman's right to choose.I don't look up to an adult who is calling a 14-year-old girl a whore.I don't look up to an adult who is screaming in my face and saying I am ugly.And I certainly don't look up to anyone who says they are Christian but treats women the way I've been treated these past few days as a teenage girl."

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

I'm a Canadian girl with East-Indian heritage. I grew up around a lot of white boys. I like white boys. I find I date mainly white boys. I have no problem with this. However, sometimes, others do. It's come up in discussion with some black and brown men. Thing is, I never bring it up. It is often mentioned when they ask me out, I say "No thanks" politely or "I'm not interested, but thank you." and they continue to prod as to "Why?" I don't like to lie and say "I have a boyfriend." or "I don't want to date right now." That's misleading and dishonest.

I have a preference for white men. I'm not really ashamed of it either. I have dated half Asian/white and maybe a bit Hispanic, but they had European features. In all honesty, I don't think it's anyone's business who I should and shouldn't date.

"You got no love for the black/brown man?"

Never said that at all. I treat everyone equally. You just don't get into the discotheque that is my vajeen.

"Black men/ Indian men can be good guys too."

Absolutely. I have NO reason to stop treating any man of colour with less respect than a white man. They are people who have just as much ability to be good, honest, kind, loving, sexy. I acknowledge all of this, it's simply just not who I'm physically attracted to.

It boils down to this: My vagina is not a democratic country. I do not have to allow people in. There is no Ellis Island. It is not an Equal Opportunity Society. Seniors don't get in with a 30% discount. Jersey Shore motherfuckers don't get a free pair of RayBans at the door....

As a woman, I get to choose who comes in my vagina and if I want any persons coming out of it too. I have 100% obligation to treat all of mankind equal, but I do not have to allow every willing man inside of me. That is my right. You may not like it, but tough shit. I make the rules and no amount of guilting will sway me and I am not a traitor to my race. Any man who has ever said that last bit acts as if he is more entitled to my vagina than anyone. Does that sound like someone who even regards me as a person????

My advise for these men, as always, is to find a woman that IS sexually attracted to them instead of wasting time on a woman who isn't...and to be aware that they too, have preferences.

I always believed that it would have to be the muslims that would have the real power to save Islam from it's extremists. Moderate, smart educated muslims. Especially when it comes to women and freedom of speech.

"“Democracy, Secularism, Fun”— that’s our motto. We fight authoritarianism and corruption, advocate free elections and open government, and champion individual freedoms—from religious to sexual. As for the ‘fun’ part… it’s just us :) Intellectual curiosity, creativity, and humor are the staples of the “Free Arabs” generation."

Here are a few of my favorite videos. From a brilliant 12 year old boy that schools islamists on how to treat women in society, to a young female poet that struggles with her arab and female identity, to a brilliant parody of a "fatwa show", to a female rap against islamist stereotypes on women, to the "immoral" parts of arab "forbidden" movies.

Monday, July 8, 2013

Alright... so this post is for all my modern sexting men out there. Before you say to yourself: this is absurd/ this is obvious, know that i am referring to things that were sent to me. I am not making anything up.

Listen up: sexting is an art.
Not a complicated nor an elitist art. But an art nevertheless. What i mean is that, just as "real life" foreplay, you can't just zip out you dick with a big smile and proudly say: "so? you wet?"

And just as "real life" foreplay, you gotta stay manly while seducing us. Thing is, as it is an image based thing (i am only referring to the sexy pics in this post) you will have to find a manly way to do a selfie.
Here the difficulties begin.

Now this is the main thing to remember: what is hot for a girl to do is not necessarily hot for a dude to do.
What turns us on is different and our bodies are different.

DO NOT do the duck-face lips or the "kiss" face. Not hot.
(the duck face is actually a NO NO even for girls, it is, and always has been ONLY acceptable for ducks to do. Remember that. And the kiss face can be cute, as a "goodnight sweet dreams/have a good day" kind of way but NOT as a "i wanna fuck you real bad right now" kind of way.)

DO NOT take pictures of your ass only. Unless your ass is REALLY SOMETHING SPECTACULAR, chances are, it is pretty average and the sight of it wont make us horny.
The fact that girls "always tell you you have a great ass" does not mean 1) It's true. 2) The image of it alone is sexy.

DO NOT send pictures of your abs if you do not have abs. Ridiculous.

DO NOT take male stripper poses. They are gay. Even for strippers.
Examples: anything 3/4 with flexed arms, anything Justin Bieber would do, anything too posed, anything with one arm up and flexed behind your neck, anything without both feet flat on the ground.

DO NOT take a naked pic in front of your dirty underwear and garbage on the floor. Or infront of an open toilet. Yuck. Cleanliness is hot. Remember that.

DO NOT send a pic of you dick soft. It's ugly and the reality is that what makes us wet is the idea of your excitement for us.

DO NOT send us recycled pics. We want our own hard dick of the moment. We want the thought of us to make it hard. Again, we are not like you: it is not the image alone that tuns us on, it is the power and thought that does.
Plus that's just a turn off and a little insulting.

DO not send us your glorious dick as a close-up after 2 erotic texts. Wait a few more texts. (cause after that: what?)

DO NOT send us a pic you haven't properly looked at before sending. If you don't find yourself hot/manly in it, there is a 200% chance we won't. (i am referring to the slouchy looking, weird face, standing funny pics)

Now...
DO send us thoughts with them, dirty envies and x-rated motivations.

DO send us an evolution-type timeline of your excitement visually. (not all at once right away)

DO send us different views of your cock. Under, over, profile... make us travel around it like we where there.

DO use the camera angle to make your dick look more glorious, girls do that all the time with their butts, so it's only fair-game. (plus it's a fantasy, it's ok)

DO send us videos or you touching yourself for us. It's hot. Especially if we can hear you breath and dirty talk.

I think i've covered the most of it.

Ladies, if I forgot anything, please let me know and we will make this list more and more useful to men and ourselves.
As this is all about making us wet and happy.

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Your clit is like an iceberg. Litteraly.
Turns out the biggest part of it..is inside us. The little bulb we commonly call clitoris, really only is the very tip.
Now this is a discovery for me. And a beautiful one i must add.

It just makes so much sense, dosen't it?
It is all one piece of pleasure, not multiple little things that somehow have a bit of a connexion inside our non logical body.

And these images! so breathtaking.

Not to mention that it puts to rest the whole "are you a clitoridian or a vaginal type of woman" bullshit. I'm a everything type of woman my dear man, and so are all of us.

Consider this: In over five million years of human evolution, only one organ has come to exist for the sole purpose of providing pleasure – the clitoris. It is not required for reproduction. It doesn’t have a urethra running through it like the penis, and thus, does not urinate. Its sole function – its singular, wonderful purpose – is to make a woman feel good!!

Sadly, it is precisely because the clitoris has no function apart from female pleasure that science has neglected to study it as intricately as the penis. In my last post I wrote about Princess Marie Boneparte and her revolutionary work on the female orgasm. There was however, one piece of pertinent information she was lacking that science had not yet discovered: the true size and scope of the clitoris.

Try asking the next person you encounter to tell you where the clitoris is located. Having posed this question to others many times myself, I’ll guess that the majority of answers you receive will sound something like, “It’s that small bulb at the top of my lips,” or, “That’s the button up under the hood.” Although these responses aren’t exactly wrong, the interesting truth is that the majority of the clitoris is actually within the pelvis – that is, it’s far more internal than external. Even most of the women I coach, women who are generally worldly and well-informed about their own bodies, react with a combination of fascination and confusion when I explain that their clitoris extends deep within them.

The scientific name for the external “little button” or “bulb” is glans. Not to be confused with glands, glans simply refers to a small circular mass. This little structure contains approximately 8,000 sensory nerve fibers; more than anywhere else in the human body and nearly twice the amount found on the head of a penis! From reading her work, it’s clear that Marie Bonepart mistakenly thought that the clitoris was completely comprised of the glans; and because it is super sensitive and all anyone can see of the organ, her confusion is mirrored by most women today. The fact is, though, that most of the clitoris is subterranean, consisting of two corpora cavernosa (corpus cavernosum when referring to the structure as a whole), two crura (crus when referring to the structure as a whole), and the clitoral vestibules or bulbs.

The glans is connected to the body or shaft of the internal clitoris, which is made up of two corpora cavernosa. When erect, the corpora cavernosa encompass the vagina on either side, as if they were wrapping around it giving it a big hug!

Sketch of an erect clitoris

The corpus cavernosum also extends further, bifurcating again to form the two crura. These two legs extend up to 9cm, pointing toward the thighs when at rest, and stretching back toward the spine when erect. To picture them at rest, imagine the crura as a wishbone, coming together at the body of the clitoris where they attach to the pubic symphysis.

Near each of the crura on either side of the vaginal opening are the clitoral vestibules. These are internally under the labia majora. When they become engorged with blood they actually cuff the vaginal opening causing the vulva to expand outward. Get these puppies excited, and you’ve got a hungrier, tighter-feeling vaginal opening in which to explore!

What does all this mean? Well, for starters, we can finally end that age-old debate of vaginal vs. clitoral orgasms.

In 1953, Kinsey wrote: “The vagina walls are quite insensitive in the great majority of females … There is no evidence that the vagina is ever the sole source of arousal, or even the primary source of erotic arousal in any female.”

Then in 1970, Germaine Greer published The Female Eunuch, which scoffed at Kinsey’s theory. She wrote, “It is nonsense to say that a woman feels nothing when a man is moving his penis inside her vagina. The orgasm is qualitatively different when the vagina can undulate around the penis instead of a vacancy.”

Interestingly, they’re both right. The vagina is not the sole source of arousal, though to stimulate the inner clitoris you can greatly do so by manipulating, displacing, and exploring the vagina with a penis or other apparatus.

Sketch of an erect clitoris

Many women can bring themselves to orgasm without ever inserting anything inside of themselves. They are causing their internal clitoris to become erect and likely stimulating their glans, bulbs, and crura by rubbing themselves on the outside. The corpus cavernousum is the additional erectile tissue encompassing the vagina, and greatly erogenous when stimulated internally.

Let’s also remember, female orgasm is not solely about the clitoris and vagina either. It is far more complex and also involves the workings of multiple nerves, tissues, muscles, reflexes, and mental effort. Some women can think themselves to orgasm. Others can orgasm simply by flexing their pelvic muscles. Considering all the components involved plus the variability of human beings and their anatomies, it’s extremely important to remember no two people are the same. What works for one woman may not work for another. In other words, it’s all custom under the hood.

What really blows my mind is the plethora of misinformation that exists in textbooks, professional medical guides, and on the internet. Take for example, in one of my undergraduate textbooks titled Understanding Human Sexuality, the clitoris is depicted merely as just the glans. The sad fact is it wasn’t until the 1990’s that researchers began using MRI to study the internal structure of the clitoris. By then, the intricate details of the penis were already well known.

Urologist Helen O’Connell of the Royal Melbourne Hospital set out to better understand the microscopic nerve supply to the clitoris using MRI, something that had already been done for men with regard to their sexual function in the 70s. In 1998 she published her findings, informing the medical world of the true scope and size of the clitoris. Yet ironically that same year, men in America began popping Viagra to cure erectile dysfunction.

Sketch of a clitoris at rest

In 2005 The American Urological Association published one of Dr. O’Connell’s reports on clitoral anatomy. The report itself even states, “The anatomy of the clitoris has not been stable with time as would be expected. To a major extent its study has been dominated by social factors … Some recent anatomy textbooks omit a description of the clitoris. By comparison, pages are devoted to penile anatomy.” The report also mentions how seemingly impossible it is to understand the internal structure of the clitoris with just one diagram. Several are required to truly get a comprehensive understanding of it.

Alas it wasn’t until as recent as 2009, French researchers Dr. Odile Buisson and Dr. Pierre Foldès gave the medical world it’s first complete 3-D sonography of the stimulated clitoris. They did this work for three years without any proper funding. Thanks to them, we now understand how the erectile tissue of the clitoris engorges and surrounds the vagina – a complete breakthrough that explains how what we once considered to be a vaginal orgasm is actually an internal clitoral orgasm.

The internal erect clitoris

Dr. Foldès has been performing surgery on women who have suffered from clitoral mutilation, restoring pleasure to over 3,000 circumcised patients. He also gets passionate about the lack of study with regards to the clitoris:

“When I returned to France to treat genital mutilation, I was amazed that they were never tried. The medical literature tells us the truth about our contempt for women. For three centuries, there are thousands of references to penile surgery, nothing on the clitoris, except for some cancers or dermatology -and nothing to restore its sensitivity. The very existence of an organ of pleasure is denied, medically. Today, if you look at the anatomy books that all surgeons have, you will find two pages above. There is a real intellectual excision. “

The internal erect clitoris

So there you have it. As if all the repression, cultural influences, guilt, childhood imprints, and fear of being our true selves center stage in society weren’t enough, we also have the politics of medicine keeping us in the dark. The great news is that researchers like Dr. Buisson, Dr. Foldès, and Dr. O’Connell are paving the way for greater knowledge … and greater pleasure!

Hope springs … internal!

Now for something a little less serious and more fun! Here is a video of artist and sex educator, Betty Dodson, drawing the internal clitoris. Note: the glans are accidentally labeled “glands” in the video, but remember the proper term is glans!.

Monday, July 1, 2013

So a few months ago, i was in NYC... chilling in my fav spot with my best friend when she comes up to me and asks me if i know this singer called M.
As i didn't and didn't really care she still managed to convinces me to come say "hi", as his manager just wouldn't leave her alone, and then we could go on and have our supper.

Long story short, we did, hit it off and i ended up a few hours later at a club having this extremely sweet, nice, sexy and interesting man buy me glass after glass after glass...
We ended up both pretty tipsy and ... (insert "a lot of grown-up activities" here)

A few months later, i hear a song by M. on the radio... that pretty much makes me smile... as if sounds exactly like something i lived.