Parenting: Saying No Without Saying No

It’s no wonder that so many kids say “No!” as their first word. It’s probably the word we say most often as parents, isn’t it? I’ve learned that there are a lot of ways to say no to a child without using the actual word. (Mostly from Love and Logic, my favorite parenting resource.)

I think it’s important to branch out and try saying no in other ways because the word loses it’s meaning after awhile. It also helps kids to understand that you aren’t just ordering them around with yes and no answers. It allows the child to think and then make a choice. And that is the best thing we can do for our kids! Make ’em think!

So here’s a few ways to say no without letting the actual word leave your lips!

Here are a few tips from the latest Love and Logic Newsletter:

Give a choice and imply consequences: “Gee, I don’t think that is a very good decision and I’m pretty sure it might work out poorly for you.”

Suggest an alternative behavior without ordering it: “I think that if I were in your shoes, I would probably change my tone of voice rather than being asked to leave.”

Ask for illumination (without using a witness stand tone of voice): “I’ve always wondered about what leads kids to be obnoxious. Can you help me understand that?”

Give a direct question: “How do you think this is going to work out for you?”