pastorofmuppetsHeard on the radio today: "You know that kid whose dad thought he might have flown away in a balloon? Turns out his name was FALCON. Yeah, Snapping Turtle and Gray Fox weren't available for comment."

Long story short, blacked out from rage, ran off the road. Am typing this from the hospital, may never walk again. DAMN YOU BALLOON BOY

memedumpsterChildren are better at getting to the truth than Wolf Blitzer. So are liars, comatose people, and water bears. Imagine a water bear responding with "Oh, I'm sorry, for a second there I thought you guys were totally ripping off America and should possibly have the shit sued out of you, but if you don't want to answer the question, fine, you can just be a silent douchebag."

infinite zest4 chan managed to get a Papa John's pizza delivered to their house