Now don’t get me wrong, I love love love my digital camera (I’m even thinking about getting something more advanced) but don’t you miss the days of only having a certain amount of photos, not being able to see themfor a few weeks and the anticipation of picking up your latest snaps from the shop?

I remember when I was about 17, I was more than a little obsessed with a guy that I worked with. We spent New Year’s Eve together with a few of my friends and they took a few pictures of us together – only a few mind, those films were expensive! When we returned to school a few days later I was desperate to see those pics – so much so that I even made a friend run in to town over lunchtime and pay the hightest cost to get them developed in just an hour!

I don’t know what made me think of this, just that with the advances in modern technology all of these little pleasures and moments of anticipation are getting replaced by instant gratification in one form or another. Will there be any simple enjoyment left for our children and the next generation? The sort of pleasure you get from a new computer or pair of shoes that you haven’t been saving for for months just doesn’t seem the same….

I struggle to know exactly what I want this space of mine to be – 2 years down the line I still don’t seem to have found my writing style or niche.

I go through phases of posting all the time and then posting not so much (as I’m sure you’ve noticed!) and when these not so posting times come then I try to make myself a list of all the posts that I want to write and all these ideas that I have and make myself a little posting schedule. Now this is all very well, and from the outside seems like a great idea but it means that I end up writing things weeks in advance and scheduling them because I know that I am going to be too busy to write and post during the week.

I’m not sure exactly what I wanted this blog to be, but the one thing I am sure of is that when I started out I wanted to keep a record of the hughs and lows of my life and everything in between. The fact that I’ve made some new friends and found some new projects along the way was an added bonus.

I don’t really know what I’m trying to get at here other than saying that I don’t like this pressure that I seem to be putting upon myself to conform to some sort of blogging society. I always wanted this space to be honest, to record what was going on in my life – both the important and slightly more mundane things, how I was feeling and about my dreams for the future.

I know it takes time and hard work and a lot of effort that I sometimes just don’t have, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to keep this little thing going even if nobody is reading.

So I have a massive addiction to travel blogs, books, planning websites, looking for telf jobs – just about anything related to planning what my life will hopefully pan out to look like next year.

I probably scan over websites for TEFL jobs at least every other day despite the fact that they require candidates to sign up and move out there ages before I’d be qualified or free to go anywhere! I just like to know what’s out there :)

You know that wonderful feeling that you get on your birthday, when you are automatically happier and seem to have gotten out of bed on the right side?

I had a real case of that on my special day a few weeks ago, and ended up feeling rather deflated for the rest of the week before I thought why not try and adopt that attitude everyday? It’s the same sort of idea as ‘oh but everybody’s happier in the summer because the sun’s shining’. Well, what if everybody was happier because they had adopted a glass half full birthday attitude?!

I know there are problems with this simplified theory – I wouldn’t want the world turning in to a selfish place full of arrogant people because it was ‘all about them’, but I’m still going to try and look on the positive side of life form now on. Join me?

When I was at school I had a job in the local pub. One Christmas (probably 7 years ago now – wowzers) I went along to the staff party and met a boy who’s name I had only ever seen on the rota – for whatever reason we never actually worked together.

We started talking at this party and swapped emails (remember the days when MSN was the key method of contact?!) and were soon chatting all day every day about silly things, and swapping new music artists that we’d discovered.

I developed a stupidly big crush on this guy, but nothing ever happened. He was a few years older than me and studying at the local uni to be a PE teacher, I was swamped studying for my A-levels and then moved away for uni myself.

As is often the way in life, we drifted apart and haven’t actually spoken for years now.

He does cross my mind every now and again – he was a big part of my life for 2 years, but every time I picture it I imagine him working as a PE teacher and spending all his free time on the beach.

Last night he popped up as a suggested friend on my facebook – turns out he is now living in France and recently got married!!

I don’t know why but this made me really happy. A few years ago I would have been devestated to hear that he was married (to somebody other than me! ha) and that I hadn’t been around to help him with the big decision to move abroad – in other words, I’d have hated to accept how far apart our lives had become.

Now though, I’m feeling strangely fine. I went to bed with a massive smile on my face last night – I guess that even after all this time apart, it was nice to ‘hear’ that an old friend is doing so well.