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Friday, November 18, 2016

Working Life

Hi Readers,

Today I just want to drop down something here about my working life here in Hospital Fatimah. I've never written anything in my blog about my working life. Today, I'm going to do so! I've been working here for nearly 3 years. I joined the Hospital somewhere early March 2014. Back then, I had a very good boss. She had been a really good mentor and also a nice friend to talk to. Besides that, I had a close colleague and friend. She was the Customer Service Officer back then. Yea I was using 'past tense' as both my boss and friend had left the Hospital - one retired and one got a better job elsewhere.

I have little real friends here. Mainly because I work from office most of the time and very seldom walk to the main building to mingle around. I think people do label me as anti-socialist. Well, I feel like socializing here is more to the 'gossiping' side so, I reluctant to join the rest.

Most of the time I spent with my friend, P who's been someone that I can talk secret with because she's very outgoing and a good listener. My own boss also pretty easy to talk to so we can click as well. My working life was OK when both of them are around as I still have someone to talk to. But after they both left the Hospital, my working life here is really dull. Work only, no talk to my own department's colleague as well. Everyday wait for time to pass and go home. How pathetic!

It's scary to talk to the people working there because, you never know what they really are. Some of them can smile and be nice to you in front of you, but behind you, you never know what they say about you. I rather being said anti-socialist than mingling with those gossipers

My own department's colleague, O is a very difficult person. Previously, there was only she and my boss in a department. When I first joined the department, it was a difficult time for me because she dislikes everything i did and said. (Till date, she still is like that). She's a senior and I respect her for her experience. By hierachy, she's below me, but she had NEVER respected me as a person. I'm not saying respecting me as her superior in terms of hierachy, because she will never never wants to report to me. Maybe because she feels that she's senior so she should not report to a young girl like me. Because of her seniority, she was very rude and never respect me at all.

My boss had asked me what is my biggest challenge when she retires, and I said, to be working together with O only. My boss said O has to report to me after she left, but I can be with you, she will never ever do that. What happened during the last two days had proven everything to me.

This lady, O, she's a weird person. Whatever she said is very contradicting. Previously, she was not happy that I said 'Let Me Help You'. To her, she said that these words mean that the work she's doing is only her duty and cannot be done by me. She said our department's work can be done by both of us. I remembered everything she said. Remembering this, I tried not to say it anymore. On Tuesday 15th Nov, there was a Customer Service Workshop and she told me not to do anything as she had arranged everything with the Security Manager to move the tables and chairs for the event. Until a day before the event, she was still on leave. She had planned to come early on Tuesday at 7.30 am to make the table arrangements.

A day before, there was some changes as the Conference Room was vacant for use despite the room was booked. Seeing that, I checked with my new boss whether to proceed with arrangements or wait till O is back. She told me to proceed and get help from the Security Manager. Without any issue, the tables and chairs were arranged. I knew O does not like to be disturbed during her leave, and thus, I asked a colleague just drop her a message that the arrangements are done and told her not to worry. She does not need to rush on that morning as well. My intention was good so that my colleague does not need to rush to do so many arrangements.

The event went well on that day. I was happy because everything went smoothly. I never think about her not saying TQ at all. Because to me, getting things done properly like what she planned was good enough although it was earlier by one day. The next day after the event, on 16th Nov, she blurted out to me that she wanted to say TQ for the help and she 'appreciated' the help with the arrangements. She added, "But I was not happy that you have interfered with my plannings. Why did you do the arrangements when I told you that I have arranged everything with the Security Manager?"

I told her that I had checked with boss first before proceeding as she asked to do it a day earlier as well. She said, "Why did you go to boss to ask these? It has nothing to do with you because you are pregnant. You don't have to do it." She also added, "I did not say TQ yesterday because I was not happy at all with these. Now I say TQ and I appreciated it."

I was like?! Huh?! "I'm not happy also with what you are saying now. You don't say TQ because to me, you don't sound like you appreciating at all. My intention is to do it because we are a team. And I don't want you to rush to work also".

She then said, "Yea, I know you are kind, but I don't like it because you have interfered my planning. Also, you know I don't like people call during my leave, and you asked another colleague to Whatsapp me. I was so angry. I told you already, after our boss left, I want to work peacefully and everything go smoothly"

That's when my nerve went boiling. "I know you don't like people call, that's why I just message to inform you that things are done. My intention was to help out as a team member. Next time, when you are on leave, I'm not calling you or messaging you, irrespective the issue is an emergency or someone died or the building collapses, OK? "If you are not happy when people have done something to help out, then I have no words to say!"

After that, I turned my back at her. I was so angry because what she's not happy about was ridiculous. I shot back at her because I did not do anything wrong with my job. But I was sad also for this. I could not breathe and I ended up walking to another department at the other side to burst out my tears. I felt very hurt and sad. I did not even expect a TQ from O because it is difficult to come out from her mouth. I just want her to acknowledge my contribution as a team to the program and treat me as a person, as her colleague. (not by hierachy). But in return, those hurtful words were what I had received. I felt so hurt by that.

That's why I said, whatever she said were very contradicting. At one point she said I need to do the work as we are from the same department, and it's not her responsibility only. Now, when I have willingly done it without saying 'I help you', she said I had interfered her work and plans. Don't understand what she was thinking.

I spoke to my new boss and she supported me. She said O has no rights to be unhappy because I have helped out and things did not go haywire. And it went on well. There's nothing wrong with that. Additionally, my boss added that she had asked if we can call her when she's on leave if suddenly there is any changes to the arrangements or any emergencies - and she said, OK! Oh my God. Such a big fat liar!

Anyway, it's good that I have let out the emotions. I think she got the point of my being unhappy because on actual fact, I did nothing wrong. Only herself feeling not happy based on her own perception. She did not apologise and the next day, she talked back to me like nothing happened.