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“I have to get out of these wet clothes. Let me go put on some pajama pants.” I was drenched and I didn’t want to get naked in front of her and scare her with my cock fully erect the way it was when I was this close to her.

“I’m naked, Silas. Just please take off your clothes and come to bed. I want to feel you, skin on skin, completely bare without anything between us.” She lifted up the covers and the moonlight illuminated more of her supple skin and devastatingly gorgeous body. My eyes couldn’t help but follow the lines of her curves, her delicate unblemished skin, the roundness of her perky breasts, the tips of her pink nipples that were begging to be sucked. She moved her legs slightly allowing me to peek between her legs and get a glimpse of what my body wanted. My mouth started to water at the sight, I could feel my lust quickly taking control in the race against my common sense. My cock was hard enough to rip right through my jeans. I’d yank them off but I didn’t want to unduly frighten her again.

“Baby, there’s nothing I want more than to climb into that bed with you, but if I touch you I won’t be able to control myself. I don’t know what I’ll do with you in my arms.” I grabbed my cock through my wet clothing trying to highlight the bulge, making sure she understood what I meant. My body was raging against my self-control. I saw her eyes widen, but what was behind them wasn’t fear but rather attraction. Olivia looked enticed and didn’t shy away from my huge erection.

“I know what I’m asking for, Silas. I want you. All of you.”

“I pride myself on my ability to always maintain control, but I’m losing the battle here with you, Olivia. I guess that makes you the only worthy opponent I’ve ever had.”

“You’ve met your match, in other words.” She smiled when she said it and I liked the double meaning in her worlds.

“As I rule, I reject touch. I don’t let people get close to me. It’s not a hard rule to enforce, because most people keep their distance without giving a second thought to it. But not you, Olivia, you beckoned me closer. If this is a game to you, it’s a dangerous one you’ve chosen to play.”

“What if we’re on the same team?” She whispered it playfully, but her eyes spoke the truth to me. We weren’t playing a game, we were making a pact.

“Your touch, is the only one I’ve ever allowed. I’m a complicated man, Livie, with a complicated past. I’m not perfect, but I need you.” She smiled softly at my words. I think she needed me too, but she didn’t have to say it.

I started to undress, peeling the cold wet clothing off my body, longing to feel the warmth of her body, desperate to feel the heat between her legs. When she took me in fully naked she let out a note of surprise. I thought when she surprised me earlier, she noticed the full extent of my scars.

It wasn’t pretty, not an easy thing for anybody to absorb. The idea that most of them were acquired at the hands of my own mother, made them even worse. They used to make me self-conscious. I always tried to hide them the best I could, even got cover-up tattoos on places where they were the worst. I tried not to let people see them, wore full covering whenever I could. Doctors would poke at them in wonder and suggest counseling and therapy assuming whatever was on the inside had to be even worse than the damage they saw on my skin.

Those scars were my armor, my excuse for never letting anyone get close. They were the true testimony of the monster I’d been turned into—the fuel that allowed me to become a man who could strike fear into the hearts of all those who dared to cross my path. What made me look the most viscous, also made me feel the most vulnerable. I turned away hanging my head not wanting to see her face when she rejected me. In those few moments, I felt the universe stand still as cracks started forming on my heart, a heart I didn’t think still had the capacity to break.

Then I felt it, Olivia’s touch.

“Oh my God, Silas. What happened to you? Who hurt you so much?”

Her words were soft, laced through with both sorrow and pity. I felt bile rise to my throat knowing that she thought I was disgusting, or even worse, weak. Knowing that she would never want a man as loathsome and repugnant as me to touch her. She wouldn’t want to be defiled by a beast, and that was exactly what I was. No one could ever love the horrible monstrosity of my body, or the man trapped inside this flesh. I was a lost cause, and I refused to be a burden to the woman I loved.