I Am Sorry For All My Mistakes :'(

by R
(Canada)

As I lay here in my bed recalling all that I've learned, I am thinking about all that you and I have experienced and been through together (good and bad) and my actions of the past.

I am incredibly embarrassed and ashamed for all the bad that I've said and done, all the arguing and yelling, more importantly the embarrassment and unequivocal hurt and sadness I have caused you. It's so hard to think of the tremendous damage I have caused to break apart every good thing you were trying to build for us, for our future.

I was feeling hurt and lost in our relationship, with the arguing and disagreeing and was feeling threatened by mention of Marlon and other worries on my mind. And not knowing exactly how to reach out to you and talk to you made me feel lost.

Those are just my feelings and not excuses or blame. I take full responsibility for what I have done, and do truly want what is best for the entirety of you.

You are right, I do have high emotions and where we were concerned I wasn't strong enough. My insecurities and inability to effectively manage how I was feeling at times has caused me to lose my best friend, my confidant, my partner and the woman whom I was surely going to marry.

I wasn't there for you the way I should have been, the way you needed me to be there for you, for our relationship. You must have felt so alone and so sad and so hurt. I feel alone and sad and hurt now because of my own thoughtless actions.

I have been focusing and working a lot on myself in that area. I have learned a great deal on how to manage and effectively communicate what I am feeling. I really want to thank you for helping me to identify that. There was a lot that I didn't realize and experience until you came into my life. You have helped me grow and learn so much.

These are my words which probably don't mean a thing to you now, but I needed to let you know the truth about how I feel and the truth about what is and always has been. Every mean, deep cutting, cruel, hurtful, and horrid thing I ever said to you, I want you to know, need you to know, that those are not my true feelings.

You are such a wonderful person. You are phenomenal, and magnificent and brilliant, you have effected me so profoundly. You must know that every mean thing I ever said was said out of pain, a lot of hard, deep, undiluted pain.

You will say that I've said these things before but the difference now is that I've done it. I have corrected and changed the faults within myself that caused the rift between us and I am continuing to take advantage of the help that I've found.

I didn't take these steps and make these changes because of some manipulative ploy or plot to get you back, because I have accepted the breakup, and have come to terms with it, and I understand why you chose to discontinue and why you feel the way you do towards me.

I also understand why and how you could think I am manipulative, because I have made apologies before but I didn't hold long to the promises I made or the things I expressed in those apologies and I know that it seemed that when things were back to normal I would revert back to the actions and attitude I had before I apologized.

I also want to add that any guy would be so lucky to have you, I was so lucky to have you, and I will continue my efforts in bettering myself as I am becoming a much better person. I can't thank you enough for all your efforts and all the care and attention you put into me and our relationship.

I had felt lost and in the dark and didn't see that I had all that I needed in you to help me get through anything.

And now, I want to say that I am sorry. I imagine that this means nothing to you anymore and no longer holds any weight but I feel a universe of remorse for all that I have said and done to cause you to feel the way you do. You have given me so much and shown me so much and I will forever be thankful for the profound effect you've had on me and in my life.

I know I didn't show you the appreciation I should have, but I must inform you now, that although I said things and did things to the contrary, I did appreciate you, so much.

I know there are no words that can make up for the sadness and pain that I've caused you and while I pray for your forgiveness I do not and cannot expect it. I am prepared and willing to accept that you will not forgive me. I just wanted you to know the truth about how I feel. I have learned to effectively use the experiences of the past to help with my efforts in making myself and my life better.

I've thought about writing this for a long time. It was not easy in the least. I thought to myself "how in Gods name can I make peace with her after that last email that I sent her? How, in all Gods creation will she ever be able to move past that?" This is where that emotional counseling comes in.

I was shown that we cannot allow our fears of rejection to discourage us from making a sincere and honest effort in trying to correct our mistakes of the past or make peace with people that we've hurt, we cannot allow that dread to prevent what could be a positive outcome. But instead to acknowledge and accept that rejection is a possibility and to utilize that as a deeper lesson as to the harm that our thoughtlessness and not being in control of our emotions can inflict on the ones we love as well as ourselves.

This was one of the steps taught, to attempt to make peace with people in our past whom we've hurt or hurt us or had a misunderstanding or falling out with etc. And whether the result is positive or negative, whether they accept or reject our apology is up to them, and is ok because we at least tried and we can use that towards self betterment.

No matter the reaction of the person or people we try to make peace with we can use it as a positive dose to our efforts.

I have asked God to forgive me for hurting one of his angels. I know I will have to answer to him some day. I have made peace with myself and with God, now I want to make peace with you. Once more I want, need, to say, with every iota of sincerity and feeling and with every beat of my heart, I am sorry. I will take that to my grave and into the afterlife.

Comments for I Am Sorry For All My Mistakes :'(

I apologize for all the bad words I used and I deeply regret it all. I am taking back all the bad words I used for you and for everyone. I am really thankful to make me realize it. I am sorry. So please forgive for all, and yes we can be friends though.

Greatby: Hastine

It's stunning my dear brother, I'm a victim of the circumstance. I hope it will help me too.

For Bernardby: Tami

Bernard, i have no real way of knowing whether its really you apologizing or not, but if it was, thank you for taking the time to try to rectify the hurt you caused. I truly do wish you well in life. Please take good care of yourself.

Im sorry for all my mistakes :'(by: sflatinjock

Omg. Well written mate. I freaking love it.

Beautifulby: Anonymous

Beautiful...thank you! I read the first lines and could then write something by myself... let's just think more about our mistakes next time.. let's stop hurting people we love.

Ex-boyfriend plagiarized by: Anonymous

Ex-boyfriend sent me a handwritten letter, and after reading it, I felt horrible for him. Now after a year, I tried to be smart and googled those words and I found this letter. So embarrassing and hilarious at the same time.

Amazingby: Anonymous

I just wrote a similar letter to my ex. I don't know if it's going to work and I haven't given it to her yet. I will in a month when she gets back from vacation. I love her to death and I ruined something I loved dearly. I'm going to have to take that to the grave with me. But I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Mind blowing by: Anonymous

Thank you so much for this, she forgave me but we don't talk as much.

Strong expressionby: MAXX

I did not have to read the whole letter and story. I only read a couple of lines and understood the message and meaning of it. Now I will use that to say to her what I want to say.

Wowby: tClydeS

This made me rethink life. A beautiful piece of human remorse, this deserves an award.

My truthby: Gordon

As I read this message I cried and realized every point, piece and situation in my life from 17 to 49.

To sum it all up first look in the mirror and don't lie to him. Second fall to your knees and ask God for forgiveness, guidance and understanding. Also pray, pray, and pray some more...Please have patience and faith.

MIND BLOWN by: Anonymous

Wow, I'm a bipolar schizophrenic who thinks you can read his mind. The situation is exactly similar to mine and as much as I'm tempted to copy this and write her a letter, I won't. How do I stop messing up?

Heart Touching wordsby: Manjukiran

Thank you very much for writing this letter and helping people to use this as a tool to create their own.

I AM SORRY FOR ALL MY MISTAKES :'(by: Anonymous

It would be a lot easier if you would tell this person how sorry you really are, I mean this person is out there crying and wasting his or her tears for you with a broken heart not knowing how you really feel, I mean what if you were the one this person really love that got away have you thought about that from time to time. Love can make you do and say crazy things to the ones you love without thinking. If you still have feelings for this person please don't give up, you'll be surprised what love can conquer--two heart beats as one now that's true love, I just want to say good luck and I hope everything works out the best for you ;)

Very convincingby: Anonymous

This made me weep.

I Love this!by: Britney

This is awesome! This apology worked for me hope it will work for others too.... I love this!!!

Reallyby: Anonymous

This is a very good apology, but can you all not just copy it and send it to your partner. Instead use it as an example and even try to select some words, but something that comes from your heart is your own feelings and is much better.

superbby: susil

It's awesome, really awesome... mind blowing...

Wow by: Nico

You basically just said everything I've been trying to find the words to say. I'm going to send this to her and I hope that she can forgive me. Letting go of near 7 years of love isn't easy.

My storyby: Bernard

This perfectly matches my situation which has happened just three days ago and she is not answering my calls so I've copied and edited it to send to her. Let's see what response I get. But one thing is that, it's the best apology letter. I pray that it will work for me.

A real man isn't to proud to apologize by: Anonymous

My fiance of 5 years just sent me this apology because he couldn't find the right words to say to me. I have no idea what the future holds for our little family. I'm afraid. May have ruined our relationship to the point of disrepair and I don't know if I will ever regain the trust and intense love he once had for me. Now I am stuck painfully trying to decipher if he wants me back because he really loves me still or if it's mostly about pride and this prior claim he has on me.

Love by: Andrea

Such beautiful writing! Very heartfelt.. But I don't wish to receive the exact template in the future just in case hahaha but something sincere and heartfelt like this would be very much appreciated and the way to complete forgiveness :) Guys please don't copy this, instead use it as inspiration

Wow! by: Pheebs

I should have come across this a long time ago. Splendid!

thank you...by: Lazarus Matjila

Thank you so for this apology. This is what I was doing to my lovely future wife before knowing that she is pregnant with our beautiful daughter. Though we weren't separated it seems like she was already trying to date someone. With your words I pray to God that she can think over things and come back home forever.

My storyby: Subodh

This perfectly matches my situation. I copied and have sent this letter to her. Let's see what response I get. But one thing is that, it's the perfect apology letter.

It worked for me. She's talking to me againby: Julian

Thats is exactly how I was. So selfish and jaded. When she walked out my life after all I said to her. I was like "your such an idiot" I looked at all the letters. I'm no good at writing them. I came across this one which compared to me so much. I figured I'd give it a shot. She's only texted me here and there. At least it seems she forgives me. Thanks a lot, your heart was giving and open to others.

Thank youby: R

Thank you all for your kind and encouraging words. I must say that I am surprised and impressed that you all read my apology in its entirety. However, that ex and I are no longer together and never will be again. We don't even talk.

My apology did work and she did forgive me, but I had written this at a time when I was not in a clear and logical frame of mind. She was never the one for me and all the bad and chaos in our relationship was not entirely my fault.

I decided not to continue with her as I had come to realize that she had a multitude of issues that I alone could not fix. I was not the one for her either. Today I do not know where she is or what she is doing nor do I care much, but I am sure she is well and living life as she always has. Thank you all again, and I sincerely hope that you are all successful in life and love.

Greatby: Anonymous

Really great apology.

goodby: Anonymous

That is soo cool hope it works!

About loveby: Experiences

All I can say is that this girl changed my life. thank you and I'm saying it from the bottom of my heart--I really love you and pray to god every day to keep a smile on your face.

I can relateby: Anonymous

That was beautiful.. if that apology was for me, I would have forgiven you in a heartbeat.. I borrowed some of you words because while reading your apology, I could simply relate to almost everything. I don't know what you did, but I can tell you have changed. God bless you..

greatby: Anonymous

Such an awesome apology... Though I lost my gf 2 days ago it's hard for me to find a way to apologize.

Genuine Apologyby: Sarah Lund

That was really sweet. I can tell by the way you word it, and all the effort you put into explaining it, that it's pretty much real enough :) Hope she forgives you. There aren't many men anymore that would apologize as heartfelt as you did. Wow. This is sincere. Good luck. *hug*