Fighting fear and ignorance and inabilities (help me)

Okay, so… Hi there. My name is Sam. For as long as I can remember I’ve been obese, and I know it’s my fault, and I know it’s something possible to fix, but every time I find that spark to lose the weight and be healthy… It just doesn’t happen. I get scared, and I get confused, and that makes me even more scared.

I really, really don’t want surgery. Not unless all else fails or I am in immediate danger.