Yes, yes, yes, I know, it's the Kim Kardashian joke the internet has been drooling over for months: did she or did she not have an E! crew camped out in her fallopians to bear witness to Kaidence's journey down the Kardashibirth canal? Well, both, kind of—the birth was filmed, but it was just Kris behind the camera, not a team of basic-cable professionals. Those guys were outside. Waiting.

“Kim was taken to Cedars, and cameras followed her there.”

Baby daddy, Kanye had been adamant that no cameras be permitted in the delivery room, but that didn’t stop them from trying!

“The camera crew did attempt to accompany Kim into the hospital,” the insider said. “When Kanye arrived, he told them to get lost, which they did. Kanye didn’t want this precious moment to be documented for TV.”

So who filmed inside the delivery room: Kim’s mom!

“Kim’s momager, Kris, who was in the delivery room, filmed portions of it for family viewing only,” the insider said. “Kanye told Kris when she could film.”

Family viewing only!?!?!? No faaaaaaair!!! I want to see a wet baby coming out of the vagina of a complete straaaaaangeeeerrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!! My priorities are nooooormaaaaallll!!!!!!!! #whywouldyouhavetospecifythat #ourcountryisbroken #haveyoutriedturningitoffandonagain [Radar]

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Lady Gaga's dad's restaurant got shut down after an inspector (LET'S CALL HIM "FORKULE POIROT" BECAUSE I THOUGHT OF IT) visited the restaurant and discovered a frightening amount of potato crime.

A moldy spud is one of the reasons why his New York restaurant has been downgraded by hygiene inspectors.

Joe Germanotta, who claimed the rotten potato was “raw” and among 40 “good ones”, was so annoyed he named and shamed his examiner online.

He wrote on Twitter: “Here’s my violations at 10:40pm after the kitchen has been closed for 40 minutes.

"Let's be real here. I don't look that good in Lycra. I do all right, but I hadn't anticipated that I was ever going to be cast as the girl in Lycra looking hot."

"Some of these actresses or public personas who are very public about their disciplined diets, more power to them. I just don't see the point. I'm just not going to be one of those people photographed in a bikini where people are like, 'OMG, look at Amy!' I mean, it might be OMG, but not for the reasons I want," she says jokingly.

"I have no features without makeup," she says. "I am pale. I have blonde lashes. You could just paint my face — it's like a blank canvas. It can be great for what I do."

Normally I roll my eyes at the oh-I'm-so-average "humility" of movie stars (who literally play stereotypical magic princesses in movies), but I totally feel that exact same way about my face! Like, it's basically just an invisible potato unless I use some expensive finger-paint to draw some eyeballs on it. I don't actually think that's true—I just feel it. Anyhoo, I like Amy Adams, whatever. [NYDN]

Johnny Depp is finally talking about his breakup:

"Relationships are very difficult. Especially in the racket that I'm in because you're constantly away or they're away and so it's hard. It wasn't easy on her. It wasn't easy on me. It wasn't easy on the kids. So, yeah. The trajectory of that relationship — you play it out until it goes, one thing leads to another. So for whatever reason that ­ceases, it doesn't stop the fact that you care for that person, and they're the mother of your kids, and you'll always know each other, and you're always gonna be in each other's lives because of those kids. You might as well make the best of it."

Edward Furlong has now been charged with assaulting his ex-girlfriend. [TMZ]

Ew, is this real? Apparently newly minted weight loss evangelist Mo'Nique told Gabourey Sidibe that she needs to lose some weight? Because I'm sure she's never heard that before? Anyway, Gabby was like "LYLAS, but no." [ShowbizSpy]

Walmart may have leaked Mariah Carey's new album title, which may be The Art of Letting Go. [E!]