I have no idea where the boss culture has come from but I have come to grips with the fact that I dislike it. Ha!

I have never and don’t plan to ever refer to myself as a Boss Babe, Boss Chick or any of the other synonymous phrases that have become popular within the last year or two. The fact of the matter is, the line from Chance the Rapper’s record “Mixtape” plays loudly in my head whenever I see these phrases. “How do they call themselves bosses, when they have so many bosses?”

Okay listen, I know I probably sound like a hater, but you know I always have a point here so go with me. The fact of the matter is, I do have a boss. LOL. So that’s the first factor. And the second factor is that I am still growing. Listen, I never would have thought in college that I would want to be in business for myself. I wish I did so that I would have taken a business minor. But I digress. In either case, I am NOT a boss. I am the owner of WriteLaughDream, LLC for sure. But it’s like, come on, I am not Rick Ross or Meek in these streets. I am learning, growing, and working to become a successful business owner. And, if we are being honest, so are most of the people tagging #bosschick and #bossbabe on their Instagram photos.

Ask yourself, have you even done enough to be considered a boss? Like yes, Beyonce is a boss. Not only does she employ probably 100s of people, she has a track record. She has had repeated success, redemption from setbacks, and she’s worth a whole heck of alot of cash. You however (maybe not you but the hashtaggers), are your company’s only employee. Are you counting being your own boss? LOL. But really, give yourself time to grow. This thing is not a sprint. And even if you have obtained something in your short career, can you do it again? Success to me is a repeated process. Not one thing that took off and now *sprinkles fairy dust* I am a boss.

I get where it may be coming from. I mean as women we are a marginalized group and so many of the trends that start are really about uplifting us as a community. But when I start to see people winning awards and spotlights and things when I am not even sure what they have done, it makes me think that we have some ideas that have messed up in the game. How have you only written one blog post and/or hosted one event and you are woman of the year? I’m not downing your connections, because clearly that was just based on a relationship, but I do want to encourage us to be thinking about the longevity of our careers and not just the right now. If you’re woman of the year with nothing, you may run out of awards to win.

In my estimation, it really just bolsters this sense of fake confidence which I talk to my mom about all the time. It’s like so many people in this generation brag and talk smack to hide the true insecurities inside or to look a way on the interwebs that is not reflected in their bank accounts. Take it from me, confidence, true confidence has been about learning who I am outside of anything that I do or produce. Progressive right? NOT. You are not what you do and if you don’t start finding some value in who you are as a human being, you will always be lost. I’m like look people, give yourself the time to grow into a boss.

Take Sophia Amoruso who wrote the book #girlboss which many of us I am sure read. I wasn’t too head over heals for it, but nonetheless, she recently filed for bankruptcy and stepped down as the CEO of her company. Does that make her not a boss? No. Listen, she created an amazing brand and business from the ground up (again, receipts). But I guarantee that if she doesn’t know who she is outside of Nasty Gal, this is probably a tumultuous time for her. There are wins and losses in this business thing.

It’s a balance like most things. Sure, you want to tote your accomplishments and let people know what you are capable of producing, but there is also humility. And I will tell you, if you don’t get your own grip on humility, life has this way of humbling you real quick. I promise you my life helps me to remain humble at all times. LOL. But really, you don’t have to puff yourself up with things like that. I have this kind of theory about most things in life that the people that ARE actually doing something, whatever it is, tend to not have to announce that they are from the mountain tops. Like the realest gangsta will never tell you, “I am a gangsta.” Or the respectful guy never has to tell you, “I’m respectful.” It’s like the proof is in the pudding here, so why are you yelling “boss” this and that?

I want the best for you. I want you to succeed in every endeavor that you are trying to reach. But how about we focus on doing the work instead of the cute catch-phrases that make us feel better about where we are but puts no extra capital into our pockets or prints any of the necessary receipts that we need to move forward. Let your bossness show.

And you may be thinking screw you Ashley, I like calling myself a boss, and that’s cool. I’m just here sharing my thoughts on my blog and you can take them or leave them. I just hope that we leave the “#bosschick” or “#bossbabe” hashtags in the rubble of 2016.