Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Want Want Lonely God Vegetable Potato Twists - H-Mart

Lonely God snacks? Yup! Lonely God snacks! There is a tiny man-baby-cherub-fairy-angel on the front, and it says "Lonely God." How could I NOT buy this?

This packaging is amazing in that bad internet meme kind of way. We have a beautiful night sky with twinkling stars, a medieval castle in the distance, and an ...angel? Wait it has a fairy wand, but there's also angel wings and a halo. Whatever it is, I like it. Looking at this package makes me irrationally happy. I think I made the same face as the mascot when I found this on the shelves at H-Mart. (Plus it was on sale! Double happy!) I'm probably missing some kind of cultural context. Maybe this mascot is really popular and well known in Taiwan, but I'm totally clueless and online searches haven't turned up much information. (About the mascot anyway.) Even though I'm unable to read most of the writing on this package, I know this lonely little flying cherub god is trying to sell me twisted vegetable flavored potato-based snacks, and that's all I need to know. This colorful bag makes me happy, and even though it's not the best design in the world, I absolutely love it. I wish this design came printed on tote bags or something so I could look at it forever.

The little potato twists inside smell like...nothing at all. I can't smell any fry oil, or potato, or even a hint of seasoning. It's kind of alarming. Did my nose break? Normally there's a hint of something, even just the smell of the plastic bag, but there's just...nothing. At the very least, I can conclude that this God isn't lonely due to some kind of distinct body odor...what do these little twists of nothing taste like?

I popped a fluffy twist into my mouth, and these things have all the texture of styrofoam packaging peanuts, with the taste of mild vegetable broth. Gotta say, I'm really underwhelmed here. For something with such an awesome name, and a floaty cupid-fairy-angel mascot, these are super bland. I ate a few more, and sometimes you'll find a twist with a bit more seasoning. When that happens, the texture and flavoring remind me of Funyons, but those flavorful ones are few and far between. Overall, this tastes like I fried up some packing peanuts, sprinkled a little veggie soup mix on top them, and tossed them in a bag for snacking. They're not unappealing honestly, just really boring.

This packaging is magical and it makes me smile, so I don't regret giving this Lonely God a chance, but the snacks inside just don't like up to the awesomeness of the package. I'll finish this bag off, but I don't see myself ever craving this again, but there are a few more exotic flavors of Lonely God I'd love to find and try.