POJT'S KNEE-KNACK AND A CHINESE TAKEAWAY

The Fiver has always admired Plain Old John Terry. OK, that's not strictly true, but we have always admired him for being quite tough; as well 'ard as Wellard the pooch on EastEnders, in that episode where he wore a leather jacket, went down the Queen Vic and waved a sawn-off shotgun in Phil Mitchell's face. So when POJT was left whimpering like a baby after an accidental collision with Luis Suarez, beating the ground in agony and calling for the assistance of that doctor on Chelsea's bench who people often mistake for a masseuse or physio's assistant, it was fairly obvious he'd got a fairly bad dose of knee-knack. So bad, in fact, that he had to be carried off on a stretcher before leaving Stamford Bridge on sticks with his leg in a brace.

Although POJT was due to visit the hospital for a scan this morning, the Fiver was not invited to tag along, so we don't know yet what the prognosis is or how long he'll be out for, although Liverpool fans might have you believe he will probably be sidelined for exactly half the length of time Suarez would be if he'd suffered the same injury. "Hugs to Terry, I hope it's nothing serious," said the Uruguayan on Twitter yesterday, echoing the sentiments of Chelsea manager Roberto Di Matteo, who said much the same thing, except not on a social networking site and without the hugs.

So, it fell to his fellow Chelsea pensioner Frank Lampard to hog the headlines, with rumours suggesting that the Chinese club Guizhou Renhe are planning a takeaway from Stamford Bridge and have their eye on No8 (never let it be said that standards are slipping – Fiver Ed). "Yes, we are in contact with Lampard but so far nothing has been settled," said the club's deputy chairman Yang Xiayou in an interview with the Beijing TV station BTV-6, who may be asked to schedule an unpopular, low quality breakfast television programme for Lampard's fiancee to present, in a bid to help grease the wheels of any prospective deal.

With Chelsea refusing to offer Lampard a contract extension of more than a year, the lure of Renhe could be strong, as it would offer the midfielder a last big pay-day, not to mention the opportunity to travel across the Beipanjiang River Railway Bridge, the highest of its kind in the world, before getting sozzled on maotaoi liquor, clambering into a barrel and floating over the magnificent Huangguoshu Waterfall, just to see what will happen next.

Should he decide to go to China, Lampard would be the third player in recent Chelsea history to make such a move, with Didier Drogba and Nicolas Anelka both having blazed a trail to Shanghai Shenhua in the not too distant past. Notoriously easygoing and low maintenance, both players seem to have found the experience hugely agreeable. Drogba is rumoured to have fallen out with the club over money and has been linked with a move to Liverpool, while Anelka is suffering from his usual ennui and apparently yearning for the warm familiar embrace of West Ham manager Big Sam.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"The problem with Jose is he still doesn't understand there is a time difference and he keeps sending them when I'm asleep" – Didier Drogba reveals the special late night texts he receives often fall on deaf ears.

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FIVER LETTERS

"Re: Phil Withall's letter (Friday's Fiver), may I offer my commiserations to $exually Repressed Morris Dancing Fiver and might I suggest that he investigates the possibility of representing Republic O' Ireland, as one assumes he shares a grandparent/great grandparent/milkman with Theme Pub O'Fiver. Unless he's a useless long ball merchant (which he almost certainly is), he'll likely still not get picked but he can at least make his mark on international football akin to that of Theme Pub O'Gibson by declaring himself unavailable for 'selection' because he's in a bit of a nark about not actually being selected, thus creating the myth that he's better than he is through no-one having actually seen him play for his country" – Derek McGee.

"On the subject of Shaktar goalie Pyatov and the meaning of his name (Fiver passim), I'd like to congratulate Geoff Saunders for only taking two days to read as far as half-time in this MBM. Or perhaps The Fiver for not reading the MBM even though both claim to have been authored by the same scribe" – Robin Hazlehurst.

"If I were to win a copy of Football Manager 2013, would Heart of Midlothian Football Club be removed from the game by the time I received it?" – Michael Grant.

"Following Jeff Westcott's letter regarding the Championship Manager 94 apprenticeship, I'd like to note that some of us never fancied [were scared] of the weird modernism of later Championship Managers and as such never stopped playing CM 94. As I write this, I have a DOSBox window open, and my Leeds team have just beaten WBA 5-0 in the FA Cup. I have a lot of hope for this team, I'm sure they have the potential to outdo Barnsley's European Cup winning season of 2025" – Jonny Elahrairah.

"I would probably write something pithy and imaginative in order to win a copy of Football Manager 2013, however it appears that the job of packaging these prizes and sending then to the Post Office is given to the pimply faced intern who was promised a fervent look into the career of journalism but who actually ended up learning the skills of a bad barista" - Craig Peters.

"Out of interest has the number of emails you've received since offering free copies of FM 2012-13 increased? (Yes – Fiver Ed). Seems that not only are there more letters but there's more content in them too as readers try to impress. I'd hate to make any presumptions but it would appear that the Fiver readers are a shameless lot who'll do anything to get their grubby mitts on free stuff. Who'd've thought it?" – Ian Johnson.

• Competition: For a limited time only (basically until we run out of the copies stashed under the desk) we're giving away a copy of Football Manager 2013 (given a five-star rating by no less a source than Big Paper) for the letter of the day. So get scribbling. Today's winner: Ian Johnson.

Despite the lengthy 'knack' list, there is no room for Kevin Nolan to earn a first cap who says it does hurt that he hasn't got one but that it is something he has got to live with and he's a big boy. "It does hurt I haven't got one, but it is something I have got to live with and I'm a big boy," he blubbed, despite the Fiver having already broken this news.

Peterborough have transfer-listed and fined Gaby Zakuani, Tyrone Barnett, Emile Sinclair and Nathaniel Mendez-Laing for breaching club discipline. The club say they are making no further comment, because recent events have certainly proven that pointing fingers, not giving specifics and hence promoting widespread internet guesswork hardly ever come back to bite anybody's backside.

Six Millwall football fans arrested after they unfurled an offensive banner aimed at Marvin Sordell, who was racially abused at the club last month, have all been released on bail. Police took the trouble to lock them up despite the fact all six presumably lacked the opposable thumbs necessary to open a door anyway.

And Andriy Shevchenko has been offered the position of Ukraine head coach. "I'm sure Shevchenko will also be able to conquer great football countries," said the President of the Football Federation of Ukraine, Anatoliy Konkov, who obviously never saw his man in a Chelsea shirt.

If you've had no luck meeting someone on Soulmates, don't fret, others have felt such stinging rejection too – many of whom are happily chatting away in the comments section of this 10 talking points from the weekend blog.