You fuckers back down, you know I already said this,Messed with me before, and your Stark became headless.

You like Danaerys? Want to see her go to the West?Fuck it anyway, I'll be dead before I write the rest.But who really gives a shit? Wildcards is the fucking bestI'll write 8 more shit books before I START this crapfest.

Sex in every other chapter, cuz you bitches ain't gettin laid.I don't give a fuck, you know I already got it made.I'll never finish this saga, but I sure as hell ain't afraid.I'm fat as shit, but still richer than Dennis Quade.

In case it wasn't clear, I got cash to the 9 digits,You can't stop me, I'll live forever through my midgets.

Just like Jon Snow, you niggahs know nada,My books got more loose threads than the greyjoy armada.

ALL THE OTHER FUCKERS IN THIS THREAD DONE FAILEDMY NAME'S DAGNY TAGGART AND YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET RAILED

I FUCK LIKE AN ANIMAL WHEN REARDEN'S ALL OVER MEJAMES TAGGART IS MY BROTHER BUT HE'S THE ONE WITH THE OVARIESYEAH NIGGUH DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHAT YOU WRITEYOU COMMI ASS FAGGOTS ARE PARASITESOBJECTIVIST THEORY IS THE WAY TO BEI DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT POVERTYIF YOU CAN'T KEEP UP DON'T BLAME THE RICHOR I'LL LEAVE YOU HANGIN LIKE A MOTHERFUCKING BITCH

IT'S TIME TO WRAP UP THIS RAP OF MINEFUCK MUSSOLINI I MADE THE TRAINS RUN ON TIMEAND IF YOU'RE EVER FEELING OPPRESSED BY A RICH WHITE MANYOU CAN SUCK MY FUCKING DICK MY NAME IS AYN RAND

OH FUCK YOU SODDING SODDERS, I'M AT IT AGAINSCRIBBLIN' WITH THAT OLD STYLE SWAG LIKE ITS 1810MY DICK IS LIKE MY BEARD, CAUSE IT HANGS TO THE FLOOR,THAT'S WHY THEY CALL ME FUCKING ALAN MOORE.SEQUENTIAL ART, YOU GODDAMN TART, ITS THE PERFECT MEDIUM TO RIP YOUR MIND APARTITS TIME TO GO, ITS TIME TO SPLIT, IF YOU MAKE A MOVIE ADAPTATION OF MY WORKS I GUARANTEE IT'LL BE SHIT.

HOLD UP, FUCK YOU, ITS TIME YOU GET GONEHAND OFF THE GODDAMN MIC--ITS TIME FOR CHABON.TIME FOR YOU "WRITER" ASSFUCKS TO PICK ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZEOH NO, WHAT'S THAT, YOU DON'T HAVE A PULITZER PRIZE?I HOLD MY JOINT KINDA EFFEMINATELY WHILE I SUCK THAT CHODE, BUT I DON'T CARE--YOU DIDN'T WRITE GENTLEMEN OF THE ROAD.PITTSBURGH IS THE REAL HOOD, AND I BORE THE BRUNTTHOUGH I'LL CONCEDE, MY WIFE AYELET WALDMAN IS SUUUUCH A CUNT...

SO IT GOES, SO IT GOES WHILE I'M BLASTIN HOESIF ITS NOT AUTHORED BY ME IT FUCKIN BLOWSI SCRIBBLE SHITTY DRAWINGS WHILE I'M CRUSHIN' GUTS,WE ALL HAVE HUGE SHLONGS, THE VONNEGUTS.ASTERISK OR ASSHOLE, THE CHOICE IS YOURS,CAUSE IM THE MUSTACHIOED GERMAN THAT THE WORLD ADORESI'M COOLER THAN ICE 9, WHILE YOUR WIFE IS SUPINE, RIDIN' GODDAMN DIRTY AS WE 69.

HURR-HUH..WHA?? GET AWAY FROM ME YOU BEAST! STAND BACK, AND ON MY DRUG ADDLED NIGHTMARES FEAST!FEAR AND LOATHING NEVER MEANT SHIT, THAT IS UNTIL I TRIPPED BALLS AND INVENTED ITI'M ALL UP IN MY STORIES LIKE A BITCH'S CUNT, GONZO IS THE WORD, PASS ME THE FUCKIN BLUNT.MALE PATTERN BALDNESS IS MY CALLING CARD--HEY, MOVE, YOU'RE BLOCKING MY AIM RETARD!!!! SHOOTING GUNS IN THE DESERT LIKE IM SQUIRTIN' CUM, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE TO MY DIARY--RUM.

YO, FUCK YOU ALL AND YOUR PHILOSOPHIES!FICTION FOR IRONY AND BEING A HUMAN BEINGTHAT’S POST-MODERN, NIGGA, AND I DO IT RIGHTSTRETCHING OUT PAGES TILL’ THEIR OUT OF SIGHTCAUSE FOOTNOTES YOU KNOW IS LIFE’S INFINITE JESTSMOKIN’ WEED AND GETTIN’ FUCKED, YOU KNOW THAT’S THE BESTSO CONSIDER THIS BITCH – WHO’S YOUR PALE KING?OH SHIT, FUCK, MY DEPRESSION IS SPIKINGIM DEAD PEACE

WATCH YOUR KIDS, WATCH YOUR WIFE, WATCH YOUR FUCKIN' BLINGTHERE'S A PLAGUE ON YOUR HOUSE, AND ITS NAME IS KING.I'VE TAKEN TONS OF SHIT FOR THE WAY I WRITE, IF YOU GOT SOMETHING TO SAY LETS FUCKIN FIGHT.I'LL BRING THE HURT, I'M A GROWNASS MAN, JUST PLEASE DON'T HIT ME WITH ANOTHER VAN.SCRIBBLIN' ERRY DAY, THATS THE WAY I DO,PEOPLE EATIN' IT UP LIKE A KID EATS GLUE.IF YOU DON'T READ MY BOOKS, FUCK YOU YOU'RE LAME-- WHO CARES IF ALL MY PROTAGONISTS ARE THE SAME.PENNY DREADFULS AS DESCRIBED BY SOME, ARE WHAT I WRITE BY THE FUCKING TONBUT WHO GIVES A SHIT, WHO FLIPS A FUCK,CAUSE EVERY GOLDEN KEYSTROKE IS ANOTHER BUCK.

BITCHES CLEAR OUT THE SPACE FOR THE ILLEST MOTHAFUCKAGEE-EHM IN THE PLACE LIKE THE FUCKIN' HIGHLANDERRAISED TO BE A PACIFIST IN HELLA COLD SCOTLANDI TELL THE YANKS HOW ITS DONE IN THE COMICS THAT I'M WRITIN'BADASS MOTHERFUCKERS- WAIT, WHAT? NO FUCK THAT.I HIT THE FIFTH DIMENSION WITH SHROOMS AND CAME BACKTO WRITE STORIES THAT ARE ALL ABOUT THE HUMAN CONDITIONABOUT GUYS IN CAPES, HELL, NOW I'M ON A MISSIONTO FUCKIN' WAKE YOU UP FROM THE DREAD WE'VE FOUND OURSELVES INCAPE STORIES TELL US WHERE WE BEENWHAT WE DONEWHERE WE GOIN'SHIT, NOW I'M HIGH AGAIN

AW SHIT, CMON FUCKER, YOU KNEW I'D SHOW UPI'M THE BIG DOG, YOU'RE A QUIVRIN' PUP.I DRESS LIKE A PIMP, MY WARDROBE AIN'T MILD--PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR, ITS OSCAR WILDE!!!!!!WHEN THEY SEE ME ROUND TOWN THEY CALL ME A DANDY, BUT THAT DON'T CHANGE THE FACT THAT MY BOOKS SELL LIKE CANDY.BEING EARNEST IS IMPORTANT, OR SO I SAY, WHICH IS WHY I'M HERE TO TELL YOU, YES, I'M GAY.I GOT THROWN IN THE BIG HOUSE FOR FUCKIN A DUDE, BUT LEMME SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT, IT WASN'T SO CRUDE.I WINED HIM, DINED HIM, YEAH I LIKE EM' YOUNG--AND AFTER THAT I TREATED HIM TO MY SILVER TONGUE.

NOW LET'S HANG FIRE, FORGET THOSE OTHER MUTHAFUCKAS' NAMESCAUSE I'M HEAD NIGGA IN CHARGE: I'M HENRY MUTHAFUCKIN' JAMES.IN WASHINGTON SQUARE I WAS BORN AND RAISEDWITH MY SWEDENBORGIAN DAD I SPENT MY EARLIEST DAYSTHEN I WENT OFF TO EUROPE FOR THE BITCHES AND HOESAND SPIT OUT SOME SUBTLE AND TORTUOUS PROSEWHEN A COUPLE OF GUYS (WHOM I LATER WOULD KILL)MOCKED THE OPENING NIGHT OF "GUY DOMVILLE"I WAS HISSED OF THE STAGE, IT WAS AN AWKWARD AGEAND I GOT CARPAL TUNNEL AND WAS FULL OF RAGEBUT WITH MY MUTHAFUCKIN' AMANUENSIS MISS BOSANQUETI STARTED DICTATIN' NOVELS WITH A PAGE A DAY,SHE TYPED IT ALL OUT WHILE I WAS FREESTYLIN' AT HER,NOW I'M THE MUTHAFUCKIN' MASTER (AS IT WERE)DEVOTED TO SUBTLETY WITH ALL MY SOULCHECK OUT MY MUTHAFUCKIN' BLING---IT'S A GOLDEN BOWL.AND WHAT DID MAISIE KNOW? DON'T THINK I CAN STATE IT:MY MIND IS SO FINE NO IDEA CAN VIOLATE IT,PUBLISHED THE NEW YORK EDITION, STARTED CASHIN' MY CHEQUESAND I MOVED IN TO LAMB HOUSE, RYE, IN SUS-SEX,YOU FUCK WITH ME, FOOL? I'LL EAT YOUR FACE FOR DESSERT,(AS GUY BRISSENDEN ONCE SAID TO FORD OBERT)I'LL MAKE YO MUTHAFUCKIN' ASS FEEL SOME OBSCURE HURT.

SON OF A WHORE, GOD DAMN YOU, CAN YOU TELLA PEERLESS PEER THE READIEST WAY TO HELL?I'VE OUTSWILLED BACCHUS, SWORN OF MY OWN MAKEOATHS WOULD FRIGHT THE FURIES AND MAKE PLUTO QUAKE.I'VE FUCKED MORE WHORES MORE WAYS THAN SODOM'S WALLSE'ER KNEW, OR THE COLLEGE OF ROME'S CARDINALS.WITNESS HEROIC SCARS, LOOK HERE, NE'ER GO,CERECLOTHS AND ULCERS FROM TOP TO TOE.FRIGHTED AT MY OWN MISCHIEFS I HAVE FLEDAND BRAVELY LEFT MY LIFE'S DEFENDER DEADBROKE HOUSE TO BREAK CHASTITY, AND DYEDTHE FLOOR WITH MURDER WHAT MY LUST DENIED.POX ON'T, WHY DO I SPEAK OF THESE POOR THINGS?I HAVE BLASPHEMED MY GOD AND LIBELLED KINGS.THE READIEST WAY TO HELL? COME QUICK, NE'ER STIR:THE READIEST WAY, MY LORD, IS ROCHESTER.

POE'S IN THE HOUSE SO ENOUGH WITH THE SOFT SHITTRANSCENDENTALISTS? JUST PRETENDERS AND SOPHISTSI'M A MAN OF MYSTERY AND I INVENTED MACABREYOUR RHYMES ARE ABOUT AS OUTDATED AS YOUR BELIEF IN GOD

FUCKING FAGGOTS, YOU'VE GOT NO RESOLVETHE LOCATION OF YOUR MOTHER LAST NIGHT IS A MYSTERY EVEN DUPIN COULDN'T SOLVEBUT I'LL GIVE YOU A HINT, SHE WAS AT THE BAR BUZZINAND I MOMENTARILY MISTOOK HER FOR MY FOURTEEN YEAR OLD COUSINSHE WANTED IT SLOW BUT I WAS FORCED TO RUSH HERAND SKIRT FELL DOWN FASTER THAN THE HOUSE OF USHER

BUT WHY WOULD I TELL YOU AND BLOW MY COVER APART?I GUESS YOU COULD SAY I'VE GOT A TELL TALE HEARTNAH FUCK THAT I KNOW YOU CAN'T DO SHITI DON'T NEED A PENDULUM TO THROW YOU IN THE PIT

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT YOU LET'S TALK ABOUT MEBECAUSE I'M A LOT MORE THAN JUST A DOPE MCI'M A FOUNDER OF A GENRE JUST ASK HPHE MIGHT LOVE MY CRAFT BUT HE'LL NEVER BE MEBECAUSE THERE'S ONLY ONE POE AND HE'S ON THE FLOORAND THE DAY I TAKE SHIT IS NEVERMORE

SO AS YOU CAN SEE I'M ONE OF A KINDI'VE GOT THAT KING FAGGOT KISSING MY BEHINDI WROTE POEMS AND STORIES AND GORY ALLEGORIESIT'S A SHAME I HAD TO LEAVE YOU AT THE AGE OF FORTYBUT SUCH IS THE LIFE OF A GENIUS INSANEDON'T TRY TO TOP ME IT'D BE IN VAIN

LIKE DYNAMITE DREAMS I'LL MAKE YOU EXPLODELEAVE YOUR MIND DRIPPIN IN HARLEM OVERLOADIT AIN'T EBONICS NIGGA, ITS ENGLISHI AIN'T WRITIN IN CODEBUILT A HUT NEAR THE CONGO TO FUCK YO HOSPEAKIN OF RIVERS WHEN I COUNT MY DOUGHMY PEOPLE KNOWTHAT I'M MOTHERFUCKIN LANGSTON HUGHESNOW I GOTTA ASK NIGGAWHO THE FUCK IS YOU?

SHIT MEN DIDN'T LOVE ME AND I WAS PISSEDTHOSE FUCKERS SO FULL OF PRIDE AND PREJUDICESPINNING MAH THREAD WHILE ON ECSTACYMAKES A GIRL FINER THAN ANY MR DARCYSO IF YOU'RE HERE TO CRITICIZE FUCKING REALIZE ITTHAT I WONT TAKE SHIT MORE THAN E-LIZ-A-BETH BENNET

A SPINSTER I MAY BE, OLD AND CRABBYBUT FUCK I AINT INNOCENT LIKE NORTHANGER ABBEYSO I DON'T GIVE A DAMN BOUT MY MARITAL DISABILITYCUZ THIS PROUD BITCH HAS SOME SENSE AND SENSIBILITY

LAST NAME WOLFE, FIRST NAME GENEFUCK WITH ME AND I CUT OFF YOU PEENBEST FANTASY EVER, NOT EVEN TOLKIEN CAN FIGHTYALL NIGGAS AINT TRYING, YO GET OFF THE MICWHILE OTHER NIGGAS WRITIN SHIT CRAPPY PULP FICTIONI FUCK THEM IN THE ASS WIT MY LITERATE DICTIONTONS OF DEEPER MEANINGS, PHILOSOPHICAL THEMESNO WONDER BITCHES LOVE ME, THEY SUCK ME IN TEAMSI MAY NOT BE A ROCKSTAR, A FUCKIN HIPSTER LIKE GAIMANSTILL FUCKED HIS WIFE, HELL I FIRST BROKE HER HYMENI MADE THE GENRE MY BITCH, SCIENCE FICTION TOOYOU THINK YOU CAN TOP ME, AW SHIT GET A CLUEIM THE BEST THERE WILL BE, THE TOP OF THE GAMEYOU DISAGREE AND YOU'LL EAT MY PIMP CANE

OH SHIT YOU WACK BITCHES MAKE WAY FOR THE BRONTESTHREE FINE FUCKIN VIRGINS CHILLIN IN THE CRIB ALL DAYSOAK IN THE BYRONY OF OUR BOY HEATHCLIFF FROM HELLY'ALL NIGGAS RHYMES FAKER THAN OUR EDITOR ACTION BELLWE AIN'T POOR HOS WE DON'T ROLL WITH AGNES GREYNIGGAS TRY BUT THEY CANT HANDLE THIS POETIC THREEWAYWHEN OUR GATS SPRAY WE LEAVE ORPHANS IN THE CLEARWE BE BURNING ROOMS DOWN A LA DAMSEL JANE EYREAND OUR RHYMES LEAVE YOU COVERED IN KATHERINE'S TEARSDYIN LIKE MR. REED WITH COLD GREY EYES FILLED IN FEARAND OUR SMALLEST BITCH ANNE SPITS LIKE SHE'S SICKWHEN YOU CAN DREAM UP A MAN YOU DONT NEED NO DICKAND SO TOGETHER WE WRITE IN OUR ATTIC WE BLEND MINDSAND OUR GENIUS IS SEEN LATER BY WHAT DEM FEMINISTS CAN FINDBUT IN THE MEANTIME WE'RE CELIBATE CELEBRATED AND FOR SALECUZ WE WRITE FROM THE HEART WHO GIVES A FUCK ABOUT YOUR WHITE WHALE?

OH SHIT YOU WACK BITCHES MAKE WAY FOR THE BRONTESTHREE FINE FUCKIN VIRGINS CHILLIN IN THE CRIB ALL DAYSOAK IN THE BYRONY OF OUR BOY HEATHCLIFF FROM HELLY'ALL NIGGAS RHYMES FAKER THAN OUR EDITOR ACTION BELLWE AIN'T POOR HOS WE DON'T ROLL WITH AGNES GREYNIGGAS TRY BUT THEY CANT HANDLE THIS POETIC THREEWAYWHEN OUR GATS SPRAY WE LEAVE ORPHANS IN THE CLEARWE BE BURNING ROOMS DOWN A LA DAMSEL JANE EYREAND OUR RHYMES LEAVE YOU COVERED IN KATHERINE'S TEARSDYIN LIKE MR. REED WITH COLD GREY EYES FILLED IN FEARAND OUR SMALLEST BITCH ANNE SPITS LIKE SHE'S SICKWHEN YOU CAN DREAM UP A MAN YOU DONT NEED NO DICKAND SO TOGETHER WE WRITE IN OUR ATTIC WE BLEND MINDSAND OUR GENIUS IS SEEN LATER BY WHAT DEM FEMINISTS CAN FINDBUT IN THE MEANTIME WE'RE CELIBATE CELEBRATED AND FOR SALECUZ WE WRITE FROM THE HEART WHO GIVES A FUCK ABOUT YOUR WHITE WHALE?

ALL YALL NIGGAS BEST KNOW IM MOTHERFUCKING NEIL GAIMANMY DICK'S SO HUGE IVE GOT BITCHES FROM HERE TO THE CAYMANSELITISTS GONNA RAGE ABOUT HOW MUCH THEY HATE MY PROSEBUT I'M NAILIN' HIPSTER BITCHES IN A THOUSAND DIFFERENT AREA CODESI CO-WROTE GOOD OMENS WITH MY NIGGA TERRY PRATCHETTBUT THE REST OF YOU PUSSIES JUST CAN'T FUCKING HACK ITYOU MOTHERFUCKERS THINK YOU CAN WRITE THE NEXT AMERICAN GODSFAGS, YOU CAN'T WRITE FOR SHIT, SO JUST FUCK OFF, YOU STUPID SODSTODD MCFARLANE THINKS HES GOT SOME HOT SHIT WITH SPAWN IF HE THINKS IT'S AS GOOD AS SANDMAN HE BEST GET ANOTHER THINK ONYOU KNOW MY RHYMES ARE SMOOTH, THEY AIN'T NO SMOKE AND MIRRORSIF YOU THINK YOU'RE HOT SHIT, YOU BEST COME TO TERMS WITH BEING MY INFERIORS

YO MOTHERFUCKER STEP BACK, IT'S THE FUCKIN TAO LINMAKIN THE WU TANG LOOK LIKE THE BITCHES OF SHAOLINI SPIT WICKED PROSE TO CAVE YOUR FUCKIN MOUTH INI'M THE GREATEST AUTHOR IN HISTORY, MY DISCOGRAPHY'S A FUCKIN MOUNTAIN,HEMINGWAY IS A GAY,I MADE KAFKA COUGH BLOOD,FUCK KAFKAESQUE, I'LL MAKE A KAFKA MESS,CAUSE VIOLENCE IS TAOESQUE,I STARTED WITH ANGSTY POETRY IN A COILBOUND JOURNAL, BUT NOW I'M BOUND-LESS.

Lest you on crow or humble pie should sup, let'sAttend as I freestyle heroic couplets:Unlike you hip-hop poetasters', mineReveal a perfect rhyme to end each line.Your verse like empty condoms, full of fail;But mine a scorpion with sting in tailTo kill with such economy or thrift(Mark now that pleonasm, says Dean Swift)That not one word is wasted, nor is time,When meter runs as perfectly as rhyme,In such a neoclassical designThat you might think that Homer writ my line.Chiasmus my device, my crib a grotto,My whiteness might make Shakespeare seem mulatto,My learning vast in Greek as well as Latin.(Sugete meam mentulam: put THAT in.)When Thebes' King from Tiresias sought succour,The blind seer to him shouted "Motherfucker!Seekst thou to know who's truly the most dope?Which Gangster most Original? A. Pope."

ALL YOU MUTHAFUCKAS WHO THINK GOD IS REAL,JUST LISTEN TO THESE HURLEMENTS FROM THE BASTILLE.ROUSSEAU THOUGHT NATURE WAS LIKE "HAKUNA MATATA"I'M HERE TO TELL YOU NATURE'S A VAGINA DENTATASHE WANTS YOU DEAD, SHE WANTS YOU BLEEDING RED,SHE WANTS TO START CHEWING WHEN SHE SHOULD BE GIVING HEAD,BUT GIVEN THE NATURE OF NATURE, THERE IS JUST CAUSEFOR DISOBEYING SO-CALLED NATURAL LAWS.I'M THE DIVINE MARQUIS, WITH A MADMAN'S EYE I SEEHOW SIMONE DE BEAUVOIR WONDERS: SHOULD SHE BURN ME?LIKE WHEN THE POOR HEARD ME SCREAMING FROM THE BASTILLEAND THREE DAYS LATER Y'ALL LIKE "SHIT JUST GOT REAL"BUT BY THAT TIME I WAS PACKED UP AND GONETO THE INSANE ASYLUM AT CHARENTON.NOW LET'S APPLAUDTHERE IS NO GODAND YOU'RE A FOOLIF YOU'RE NOT CRUEL

Now this is the story all about howmy life got flipped, turned upside downand I'd like to take a minute just sit right thereI'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-Air

In West Philadelfia born and raisedon the playground where I spent most of my dayschilling out, maxing, relaxing all cooland all shooting some b-ball outside of the schoolwhen a couple of guys said "we're up in no good"started making trouble in my neighbourhoodI got in one little fight and my mom got scaredand said "you're moving with your aunte and uncle in Bel-Air"

I begged and pleaded with her the other daybut she packed my suitcase and sent me on my wayshe gave me a kissin' and she gave me my ticketI put my walkman on and said I might aswell kick it

First class, yo this is bad,drinking orange juice out of a champagne glassis this what the people of Bel-Air livin' like,hmm this might be alright!

I whistled for a cab and when it came near thelicensplate said "Fresh" and had a dice in the mirrorif anything I could say that this cab was rarebut I thought now forget it, yo home to Bel-Air

I pulled up to a house about seven or eightand I yelled to the cabby "Yo, home smell you later"looked at my kingdom I was finally thereto settle my throne as the prince of Bel-Air

ALL RIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS I'M A REAL HGALL SCIENCE FICTION WRITERS OWE THEIR LIVELIHOODS TO MEI WENT BACK TO THE FUTURE BEFORE ANY MAN ALIVEHAD THE TIME MACHINE PUBLISHED IN 1895

FUCK THE WAR OF THE WORLDS THIS IS A WAR OF WORDSI KICK THE SHIT OUTTA ANYONE AND I'M SURROUNDED BY TURDSCALL ME THE INVISIBLE MAN BECAUSE I'M OUT OF SIGHTI KNEW THE SHAPE OF THINGS TO COME AND I WAS FUCKIN RIGHT

SO I PREDICT THE FUTURE AND I COME FROM THE PASTGO TOE TO TOE WITH DR MOREAU AND YOU AIN'T GONNA LASTWHO'S MY COMPETITION, PHILIP K. DICK?HE'S APPROPRIATELY NAMED BECAUSE HE SUCKS IT TILL HE'S SICK

IN CASE YOU'RE UNAWARE MY SURNAME IS WELLSI'M A SOCIALIST SCIENTIST AND I BE CASTIN SPELLSCAUSE YOU'LL BE ENCHANTED BY MY PROTO-SCIENCE FICTIONMY WORDS PAINT A PAINFULLY ACCURATE DEPICTIONOF A WORLD I FORSAW BEFORE ANY FUCKER KNEW ITSO FUCK BITCHES WHILE YOU CAN THAT'S HOW AN HG GOTTA DO IT

ALL MY MUTHAFUCKIN' BITCHES GIMME WORD UP EASY,CAUSE GEORGE BERNARD SHAW IS NOW IN THE HEEZY.UNLESS YOU ADDRESS ME AS G.B.S. WITH DISCRETIONI WILL FUCK YOU LIKE YOU GOT MRS WARREN'S PROFESSION I DON'T NEED ITALICS OR APOSTROPHESCAUSE WITH MY FAIR LADY'SFUCKIN CASH ROYALTIES,G.B.S. WILL MUTHAFUCKIN DO AS HE PLEASE,JUST LIKE MAJOR BARBARA OR ANDROCLES.I'VE GOT A MUTHAFUCKIN' NOBEL PRIZE AND WHAT IS MOREI GOT AN OSCAR FROM HOLLYWOOD----CHA-CHING! G.B.S. SCORES!AIN'T NOBODY ELSE DONE THAT, JUST ME AND AL GORE.I GAVE BAD REVIEWS TO OSCAR WILDE,AND SCOLDED THE BRITISH PUBLIC LIKE A WAYWARD CHILD,PROUD CONTRARIAN, LOUD AS A CLARION,A VEGETARIAN WHO WON'T EAT CARRION,I'M A CRANKY HIBERNIAN NONAGENARIANMAN AND SUPERMAN, IT IS JUST AS YOU FEARED:ALL YOU MUTHAFUCKIN' BITCHES CAN SUCK MY MUTHAFUCKIN' BEARD.

THIS I SAY WITHOUT MALICE, I DON'T MEAN TO BE CALLOUSBUT Y'ALL CAN SUCK MY PHALLUS CAUSE I'M DAVID FOSTER WALLACE.AND IN A PLOT TWIST THAT MIGHT HAVE COME FROM VALIS,I'M BACK TO ASK LETHEM HOW HE LIKES MY OFFICE,I'M BACK FROM THE GRAVE AND I'M POSTING ON /lit/TO REMIND YOU THAT I'M STILL THE POSTHUMOUS SHIT:ADMITTEDLY YOU HAVE NOT HEARD MUCH FROM ME LATELY,BUT REMEMBER HOW THAT GHOST APPEARS TO DON GATELY?COME ON, FANBOYS, TIME TO MAKE SOME NOISEAND APPRECIATE MY ECTOPLASMAL EQUIPOISEAS THE AUTHOR YOU LOVE MOSTCOMES BACK LIKE BANQUO'S GHOSTSO NOW THANKS TO moot I HAVE COME AGAIN TO S.N.O.O.T.DRESSED IN THIS MADAME-PSYCHOTIC VERBAL SUIT:WITH MY CHARACTERISTIC LOGORRHEA NOW UNCHECKED BY PAREGORICTHAT PERMITS ME ONCE AGAIN TO BE PROLIX AND METAPHORIC,LIKE IN THAT NOVEL WHOSE TITLE ONCE REFERRED TO YORICK.WITH MY CATEGORIC KIND OF LINGUISTIC SCHLEPPING,AND WISECRACKING ABOUT TENNIS BUT NOT ABOUT TWELVE-STEPPING,I APPEAL TO THOSE WHO EARNESTLY READ,AND TO THOSE WHO NEEDTO BELIEVE A "HIGHER POWER" JUST MEANS ME SMOKING WEED...WELL THE TRUTH IS THE AFTERLIFE IS COMPLICATED,AND I AM SLATED TO BE REINCARNATEDAS A LOBSTER OFF THE COAST OF MAINE,SCHEDULED TO BE EATEN BY JOHN MCCAIN.BUT EVEN IN DEATH I'M STILL A LITERARY STAR.THIS BRIEF INTERVIEW IS OVER---NOW YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE.

YO, YO, YO,THIS IS GOD, CREATOR OF THE BIBLE,AND A LITTLE THING CALLED EARTH, THE PLANET WHERE LIFE IS VIABLE,FUCK A NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER,THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD STILL ALLOWS ME TO GET CHEDDAR,NOT TO MENTION CHURCH DONATIONS,YOU'RE IN GOD'S HOUSE NOW WHITEY, AND THERE'S NO INVITATION,SO KEEP DENYING MY EXISTENCE AND YOU CAN CHILL WITH SATAN,PULLING RUSSELL'S TEAPOT, BUT THAT SHIT'S CARBON DATED

AND I'LL CUT THIS VERSE SHORT LIKE YOUR SON'S UMBILICAL CHORD,BY THE WAY YOU'RE WELCOME, IT WASN'T A GIRL

>>1997950NOT SO FAST YOU PUNKASS WHIPPER-SNAPPERYOU'RE ABOUT AS TALENTED A WRITER AS YOU ARE A RAPPERI'VE BEEN TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH BUT MY BURNS ARE MORE SEVEREEVERYONE GET THE FUCK DOWN JULES VERNE IS HERE

NOW YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE KNOWN IT BUT I WROTE SCIENCE FICTION TOODOES 1864 SOUND IMPORTANT TO YOU?IT WAS DECADES BEFORE YOU EVER PUT A PEN TO PAPERI WAS TWENTY THOUSAND LEAGUES INTO YOUR MOTHER WHEN I RAPED HER

THE FATHER OF SCIENCE FICTION, THAT'S WHAT THEY CALL MEYOU'RE A SPERM CELL GONE WRONG THAT LEAKED OUT OF MY BALLS, GBUT DON'T FEEL BAD IF YOU'RE ONE AMONG THE GAYSNOT EVERYONE CAN TRAVEL AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS

BUT DON'T THINK ALL MY ATTENTION IS GOING TO YOUTHERE'S A WHOLE SLOUGH OF FAGGOTS I'D LIKE TO GET TOASIMOV AND HEINLEIN AND K. LE GUINYOU OWE AS MUCH TO ME AS YOU DO TO HIMAND THEN THERE'S BILLY PILGRIM WHO TRAVELS TIME AND SPACEGO FUCK YOURSELF KURT THAT NOVEL'S ALL OVER THE PLACE

AND NOW THIS OLD MAN IS WINDING DOWNBUT DON'T THINK THAT YOU WON'T SEE ME AROUNDFOR I AM IMMORTAL AND MY WORKS WILL LIVE THROUGH THE AGESI GET MORE BITCHES THAN TWENTY THOUSAND LEAGUES HAS PAGES

YO MY NAME IS JLBMY EYES ARE FUCKED, I CAN'T SEEBLIND LIKE MY HOMIE HOMERI STILL GIVE ALL YOU FAGGOTS A BONERI'VE STILL READ MORE THAN YOU EVER WILLDON'T TRY TO CATCH UP, YOU'RE FIGHTING UPHILL

I'VE READ THE THOUSAND AND ONE NIGHTSAND WIN ALL LITERARY FIGHTSI'VE READ DANTEPREPARE TO UP THE ANTEI'VE READ MEDIEVAL HERETICSYOU CAN'T EVEN SUCK THEIR DICKSI'VE READ THE PERSIAN POETSI'VE READ THE ANCIENT CHINESEI'VE READ ALL THE THEOLOGIANSGOT YOU HOLED UP LIKE THE TROJANS

PEOPLE COPY ME AND DON'T GIVE A SHITBUT I'LL FUCK THEM UP LICKETY SPLIT

DEATH OF THE AUTHOR?BARTHES YOU CAN LICK MY ARSE

IDETERMINANCY OF TRANSLATION?PREPARE FOR ANAL PENETRATION

AND THOSE FRENCH POSTMODERNISTSARE GONNA TASTE MY FISTS

MY FORGERIES GOT YOU CONFUSED AND YOUR FACE IS ABOUT TO BE BRUISEDYOU'RE LOST IN MY LABYRINTH, GOT YOU CONFUSED WITH MIRRORSBETTER SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE YOU MAKE ANY MORE ERRORS

MY CLOTHES ARE A MESS, I'M SO DEPRESSEDTHAT BUKOWSKI SHOWED UP TO MY HOUSE WITH A BONER PRESSEDAGAINST THE LINING OF HIS PANTSAND OFFERED TO SHARE A GLASS OF HIS FAVORITE BRANDOF WHISKEY, WHILE HE REMAINED AFRAID TO MOCK MEI SPIT THAT SHIT IN HIS FACE AND DEMANDED HE BRING ME SAKEDEPRESSION REPRESSIN QUESTIONS OF MORAL ETHICSATTEMPTIN TO END IT BUT QUITTIN DUE TO FAILED METHODSONLY TO SUCCEED SUCCESS LESSWHO WOULD'VE GUESSED ITNO ONE, 'CAUSE FATE IS NON-EXISTANT

ALL YOU MUTHAFUCKAS WANNA TAKE A HIT OFF MY PIPE?I'M WARNIN' YOU FIRST, IT'S THE LAUDANUM TYPE

I'M THE ORIGINAL ADDICT, LIKE EMINEM ON DEMEROLSMEETS ELVIS ON THE TOILET IN THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS

IN A HAZY MAZY REGION OF THE FARTHEST CATHAYWHERE THEY ALSO GROOVE ON OPIUM IN THE SELFSAME WAY.

ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF: I'M SILAS T. COMBERBACKEOH SORRY THAT WAS NOT ME TALKING, THAT WAS JUST THE SMACK

CAUSE I'M ROCKIN' ON IT, PORLOCKIN' ON IT, I'M INVENTING PANTISOCRACYI TRANSLATE I. KANT (BUT KUBLA KHAN!) I'M RANTING AT THE CLERISY,THEN I STUFF SOME UNITARIAN PHILOSOPHY IN WITH SOPHISTRYINTO MY WILD-EYED PIPE DREAM THAT I CALL AN AUTOBIOGRAPHYMY LITERARIA, WITH MY COLLECTED MARGINALIA, ARE AS LONG AS MY GENITALIA WHICH (INTER ALIA)

CAN FILL A DOZEN VOLUMES

WITH FEVERED DREAMS LIKE CHRISTABEL LIKE SMOKING WEED ON MUSHROOMS,

THIS POPPY-FLOWER-BOWER IS MY CHOSEN PRISONWHERE BEHOLDING THE BEST AS 'TWERE THROUGH A PRISMCAN MAKE US THE BEST POSSIBLE: SO I'M THE BEST THAT CAN BEI'M BETTER THAN THOSE LAUREATE ISCARIOTS WHO HUNG WITH ME,WHOSE NAMES I DARE NOT MOUTHEY FOR THEY ARE NAT A TOORDSWORTH

AND YOU CAN TAKE IT FROM THERE, I DON'T CARE

I DON'T NEED TO BUILD THE WHOLE BRIDGE

I DON'T WANNA HARSH MY MELLOW I'M SAMUEL TAYLOR FUCKIN COLERIDGE

AND IF OPIUMMAKES YOU SAY YUM-YUMTHEN LET'S GET DUMBYOU AND ME TOGETHER, BOO

ALL MY NIGGAS IN THE HOUSE TIME TO LIGHT UP A SPLIFFAND BOOGIE DOWN WITH YOUR HOMEBOY JONATHON SWIFTMY ESSAYS ARE SO SCATHING YOU'D SWEAR THEY'RE ON FIRESO THROW YOUR HANDS UP FOR THE KING OF SATIRE

I'VE SEEN SOME FAGGOTS IN THIS THREAD TRYNA ACT HARDBECAUSE WHEN IT COMES TO 4CHAN EVERY MAN THINKS HE'S A BARDWELL I'M TIRED OF READING RUBBISH WORTHY OF DISPOSALSO LEND ME YOUR EARS TO THIS MODEST PROPOSAL:

GO FUCK YOURSELVES, THE LOT OF YOU NEED CHRISTIAN ABSOLUTIONYOU'RE AS DESERVING AS AN IRISH BABY OF PROMPT EXECUTIONAND YOUR DICK'S ABOUT THE SIZE OF A SEMI-LILLIPUTION

NO AUTHOR CAN TOUCH ME, EACH ONE OF THEM A FAGI'M A LITERARY GIANT STRAIGHT FROM BROBDINGNAGJUVENALIAN OR HORATION I CAN DO IT ALLASK ANY FELLA 'BOUT STELLA AND HE'LL TELLYA' HOW SHE SUCKED ON MY BALLSA LESSON WELL LEARNED THAT YOU OTHER FAGS SHOULD ENJOYBECAUSE JONATHON SWIFT WAS DESIGNED TO DESTROY

ALL YOU MUTHAFUCKIN' FAGGOTS PUT YO HANDS UP YOFOR THE MUTHAFUCKIN' KING OF /lit/ ARTHUR RIMBAUDWITH MY RIM-JOB SONNET AND MY DRUNKEN BATEAUI WAS SLICING ALEXANDRINES IN HALF LIKE A SURGEONAND GAVE IT UP AT NINETEENWHEN YOU WUZ STILL A VIRGINI SHOVED FOURTEEN FUCKING INCHES INTO VERLAINE'S BOWELSAND I STILL COULD FIND THE TIME TO COLORIZE THE VOWELSCAUSE YOU KNOW ITDRUNKEN BO-ATWUZ AHEAD OF ITS TIMEAND I ILLUMINATE IN PROSE AS PERFECT AS I RHYMETHEN I RUN AWAY TO ISLINGTON, GET SHOT IN THE HAND,ABANDON ART AND PANSIES WHO WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND,FIND SUN HAVE FUN RUN GUNS DOWN HERE IN DARKEST ABYSSINIAONCE MARRIED TO MY ABSINTHE LIKE AENEAS TO LAVINIA,I STILL GOT TIME NOW FOR ONE MORE BRIDEWHO WANTS A SEASON IN HELLAND A REASON TO YELLMY NAME OUT AS MY COCK GOES SO DEEP INSIDEAS I'M FUCKING YOUIN YOUR TROU VELU....REMEMBER RIMBAUD'S THE MUTHAFUCKA WHO SAID "O" WAS BLUE

AWW FUCK ERRYBODY IN THIS BITCH DO THE DOUGIESHITS NAMED AFTER ME CAUSE ALL THE BITCHES LOVE ME.YOU MAY KNOW ME FROM WRITING HHGTTGALL THESE OTHER LAMES TRYING TO WRITE HUMOR, WHAT AN IMPROBABILITY.I GOT HUMOR FOR DAYS AND EVEN BETTER AT NIGHT.THE MAGRATHEANS MADE A PLANET FULL OF FAGGOTS AND I SEE YOU IN SIGHT.IT'S QUITE SAD THAT THESE VOGANS CAN WRITE BETTER PROSE.HOW THE FUCK DO YOU SUCK SO BAD? ONLY ZARQUON KNOWS.SHIT YOUR MOM NEEDS TO STOP IM ABOUT TO BURST.BITCHES ARE WAITING AT THE RESTAURANT AT THE END OF THE UNIVERSE.

WHAT HO, MOTHERFUCKER, YOU THINK YO SUMMINK SPECIAL?COS YOU WROTE A COUPLE COMEDIES NIGGAS SAY WERE INFLUENTIAL?YOU AIN'T NUTHIN, MOTHERFUCKER, WITH YOUR INTELLIGENT MOUSE,NOW MOVE THE FUCK OVER FOR PG WODEHOUSE.

I WAS WRITING COMIC FICTION WHILE YOUR GRANNY SUCKED MY DICKJEEVES AND PSMITH AND BLANDINGS ALL UP IN MY SCHTICKBITCHES LAPPED THAT SHIT UP, BOUGHT ALL MY JOINTS REAL QUICKTHEN TAKE THEM HOME AND READ THEM, WHILE THEY HAD A LITTLE SCHLICK.

FUCK THEM PLAYA HATERS, SAY I'M OLD AND PAST MY PRIMEMOTHERFUCKER, YOU EVER BEEN ACCUSED OF COMMITTING A WAR CRIME?FUCK YOU DOUGIE ADAMS, FUCK YOU AND YOUR MUMTIME TO GET YOUR COAT, COS THIS HOOD NOW BELONGS TO PLUM.

FUCK YOU O.G. MOTHERFUCKERS, IT'S TIME FOR THE P.G. IN THE HIZZY, MAKE SOME NOISE MOTHERFUCKERS.

CHOKIN ON THE ELVISH PHRASES THAT I WORKED SO HARD ONON THE EPIC TRILOGY I WENT THE WHOLE NINE YARDS ON

GET YA GUARD ON IM HERE LIKE ITS THE BASE OF MT. DOOMAIM CLICK BOOM MUTHAFUCKER ILL CLEAR THE ROOM OF YOU SUCKAS THEN PUT PETER JACKSON IN TRACTION FOR THE INFRACTIONS HIS SCREEN ADAPTIONS HAVE MADEYOU SHALL NOT PASS AND YOU SHOULD HAVE NOT GOT PAID

YOULL NEED THE ONE RING TO GET PAST MY GLOCK SHOT STRAIGHT AT YA COCK NOT MUCH CAN TOP THE GRASP OF WORDS THAT I GOT SIR BUSTACAPALOT WITH THE ORIGINAL VERSION OF THE MYTHIC FANTASY WORLDAINT NO HALF NAKED GIRLS WITH LEIA CURLS AINT NO MANA POINTS OR SCROLLS TO UNFURLAINT NO MONTHLY FEES IN MY BUSINESS EXCEPT FROM THE HO'S THAT I PIMPBEEN COPIED A FEW TIMES BUT I DONT WALK WITH A LIMPAINT NO CRIMINAL SCUM BUT IM A STOP RIGHT THEREPIPE WEED FROM THE SHIRE AND IT NEEDS TO BE AIRED

BEST CHECK YOSELF CAUSE IT'S VLADIMIR NABOKOVYALL CAN'T PLEASE REAL WOMEN, I CAN GET LITTLE GIRLS OFFBEFORE THEY PUBESCENT WITH THEIR CUTE NASCENT DICTIONMY MULTILINGUAL PUNS AND MY VAST ERUDITIONCHECK JUST ONE OF MY STORIES, THE VERY LAST PARAGRAPHFIRST LETTER EACH WORD, IT'LL SPELL OUT YOUR DEATHI'M THE MASTER OF FORM, HERE TO SHOW YOU YOUR FEARSTHAT TRICK I JUST PULLED, JUST ONCE IN A HUNDRED YEARSI FLY LIKE A BUTTERFLY MY STEED OF THE DEEDI BUT A POEM IN A NOVEL SO YOU CAN READ WHILE YOU READCHESS MASTER OF PROSE WITH MY PAL LUZHIN'S DEFENSEWROTE IN TWO TONGUES AND IN EACH ONE INTENSECROSS ME JUST ONCE AND I'LL MAKE YA BEND SINISTERAND I'LL FUCK UP YOU MOM AND I WON'T EVEN KISS HERTHAT'S RIGHT I'M V.N. AND I'M HAILIN FROM RUSSIAWHEN IT COMES TO THE WORD I'M IMPERIAL LIKE PRUSSIA

>>1997514Written-down rap lyrics rarely have regular meter. While virtually all rap is based around a 4/4 beat, rhythm in the language is achieved through patterns of inflection and cadence that are often highly variable within a single song. This is also greatly affected by the rapper's "flow," a somewhat subjective term rap enthusiasts use to refer to a variety of characteristics of an individual's delivery of their lyrics. While with many lyrics, like the stuff ITT, it's quite easy to figure out on one or two readings where the beats are, more advanced lyrics can seem formless and arrhythmic on paper. Rap is, after all, a spoken artform, not a written one.

AIN'T NO MO O.D.B.----DIRT MCGURT R.I.P.---SO YOU WANNA BE A GANSTA GOTTA JOIN THE O.B.C.WHAT DOES THAT STAND FOR? DON'T LOSE YO WEAVE:IT'S THE OPRAH BOOK CLUB AND YOU BETTER BELIEVEIT'S A MUTHAFUCKIN CLUB--THE KIND THAT HITS YOU ON YO HEAD, MAN.SMACK A PAPERBACK "BELOVED" UPSIDE YO FACE, STEADMAN

MUTHAFUCKIN' OPRAH HAS A BLAST AS SHE HYPES PROSE,FIRST, INSIPID CHICK LIT THAT'S NOW UBIQUITOUS (CHRIST KNOWS)LIKE JACQUELINE MITCHARD, OR URSULA MUTHAFUCKIN HEGIWITH A NOVEL THAT PLAGIARIZED GUNTER GRASS, VAGUELY?OR "THE HOUSE OF SAND AND FOG", WITH A MOVIE VERSIONYOU'LL LOVE IT IF YOU'RE A REALTOR OR ARE PERSIAN.

IF THAT'S ALL TOO WALMART, AND YOU WANT SOMETHING ARTYOPRAH BRING THE MUTHAFUCKIN CORMAC MCCARTHYDRAG HIM LIKE LESTER OUT OF HIS CAVE FIND OUT HE'S MODEST AND GRAVETOO SHY, TOO DRY, NEED SOMETHING MORE FLYTHEN WATCH OPRAH SNORT COKE OFF THE COCK OF JAMES FREY!

AW SHIT OPRAH BOOK CLUB SELLIN ALL DAT FICTION SHE HAS SHOVELLED MORE SHIT THAN RICHARD M NIXONBOOSTIN' SALES FOR BOOKS ABOUT FAT GIRLS AND WHALES,EVERY MUTHAFUCKIN BOOK GOT SOMETHIN' DOPE IN IT:ILLITERATE NAZI PEDO LADY PLAYED BY KATE WINSLET,SO WE BRING OVER 9,000 PARTY VANS INAND THEN WE HAVE DINNER WITH THE MUTHAFUCKIN FRANZEN!

I RIP IT MIDDLEBROW---LIKE A BIG BROWN COW,BROWSING AS I'M DROWSING, I'M PERUSING IT NOW,FUCK FRANZEN. I DON'T NEED HIM.HE CAN WIPE HIS ASS WITH "FREEDOM".CAUSE HIS INSANE WORDSWOULD BE REMAINDEREDWITH NOBODY TO READ EM

SO LET MY OPRAH BOOK CLUBBRINGS MY WU TANG CLANS INAND WATCH OPRAH GET MEDIEVAL ON THE ASS OF FRANZEN

Uh, no, it's people who are accurately following the metrical and rhyme schemes / expectations for hip-hop.

Blaming hip-hop for using half-rhyme is like blaming Emily Dickinson for using it. I admit hip-hop meter is usually godawful, in the manner of McGonnagall or Julia A. Moore, but a lot of the clunk is covered up in performance.

But saying that people who are trying to imitate hip-hop "don't understand rhyme and meter" (in the Popean sense) is like saying that somebody who has written a villanelle is "repetitive". You're applying the wrong aesthetic criterion altogether.

YOU GOT COMIC WIT TO SPARE? YOU GOT CHRONIC TO BURN?THEN JUST LISTEN TO THESE LYRICS LAID BY DJ LAURENCE STERNE,WHOSE TURNTABLES TAKE YOU ON A SENTIMENTAL JOURNEYWHOSE STRAIGHT LINE SWIRLS WITH CURLICUES AND WHEELS ROUND LIKE A GURNEYAS I NARRATE HOW MY PROCREATING PARENTS HAD BEGOTTEN ME:DR JOHNSON SAID THE WORLD WOULD HAVE FORGOTTEN ME----BUT THE WORLD'S STILL RANDY FOR MY TRISTRAM SHANDYALAS POOR YORICK! AND THE PAGE IS BLANKBUT THERE'S NO PROSE COMEDIAN COMES NEAR MY RANKI'M IRONIC MASTER, AND AN ANGLICAN PASTOR,AND I LIKE THE WAY THAT THINGS MOVE FASTER IN FRANCE,I LIKE THE WAY THEIR LADIES WANNA GET IN YOUR PANTS,WIDOW WADMAN WONDERS WHERE? LIKE TOBY SAID TO HER:"YOU CAN SUCK WHERE I WAS WOUNDED AT THE SEIGE OF NAMUR."

CHECK YA FUCKIN BROW FOR WORRIED FURROWSPREPARE YOUR ASSHOLE HERE COMES WILLY BURROUGHSFROM THE USA TO MEXICO RIGHT DOWN TO TANGIERWHEN I BE KICKIN YOU WISH YOU ANYWHERE BUT HEREI BE DIRTY AS THAT BASTARD MY STYLE AIN'T CLEANWHEN I'M FINISHED YOULL BE NEEDING SOME APOMORPHINEYOU COME TO ME TENSE DEEP KNOWLEDGE YOU SEEKYOU GET NONE FROM ME SON I CUT UP YOUR TECHNIQUEAPPLY IT TO MY STYLE YOUR LANGUAGE IS MY TOYWHEN IM FINISHED FOR KICKS I GO HANG A GINGER BOYPEACE

THE BONES OF MY VICTIMS IS NEVER GONNA FILL MEMOTHERFUCKER, EVEN THE SPANISH CIVIL WAR COULDN’T KILL MEI’M FEARED AND REVERED BY RAPPERS EVERYWHEREWHAT’S MY NAME SUCKA? ERIC ARTHUR BLAIR

BUT YOU MIGHT KNOW ME BETTER BY PSEUDONYMGEORGE ORWELL FAGGOT, EVER HEARD OF HIM?I’M A MASTER OF PROSE AND NOW A MASTER OF RHYMEWHEN I’M NOT BLASTING HOES I’M COMMITTING THOUGHTCRIME

I GET MAD PROPS FROM MY SISTAS AND BROTHASCALL ME A PIG CAUSE I’M MORE EQUAL THAN THE OTHASDON’T NEED THE MINISTRY OF TRUTH TO KNOW THAT I’M THE BESTBECAUSE WHEN I FINISH FAGGOTS OFF I LET BIG BROTHER TAKE THE REST

I WON’T WORK HARDER TO BEAT YOU BECAUSE I WON’T NEED TOTWO LEGS AND YOU’RE MY ENEMY AND MY DICK IS ALL I’LL FEED YOUI SPOUT RHYMES LIKE I’M A MOTHERFUCKING FOUNTAINAND I WON’T THINK TWICE SENDING YOU TO SUGARCANDY MOUNTAIN

AIN’T NO ONE ALIVE WHO GIVES MORE HELL THAN ORWELLYOU WON’T MAKE IT TO ’85 IF YOU’RE UNABLE TO TELL THAT I’M THE MAN WITH DICK OF THE GREATEST LENGTHTHE REASON THAT I’M DOPE IS THAT IGNORANCE IS STRENGTHCALL ME EMILY DICKINSON CAUSE NOBODY FUCKS MEAND NOW HERE’S A WORD FROM MY HOMEBOY HUXLEY

>>2000387AIN’T A FUCKER ALIVE DOES MORE DRUGS THAN MECAUSE WHEN I’M NOT SMOKIN FAGGOTS I’M HITTIN LSDI’M EYELESS IN GAZA AND PEERLESS IN RAPI’VE READ THIS FUCKING THREAD AND NOW IT’S TIME TO CUT THE CRAP

FUCK ALL Y’ALL FAGGOTS, TAKE ALL THE SOMA YOU LIKEAIN’T NO ONE SAFE WITH ALDOUS ON THE MICYOU THINK THAT YOU’RE ALPHA? I INVENTED THAT SHITYOU’RE BETA AND DELTA AND YOU’RE NOT EVEN FITTO SUCK THE SEMEN OUT MY DICK, SO CUT THE SELF-DECEPTIONBEFORE I KICK YOU OUT OF THE DOORS OF PERCETPTION

YEAH IT’S A BRAVE NEW WORLD AND I’M THE CREAM OF THE CROPYOU STILL BELIEVE IN JESUS? WELL IT’S TIME FOR THAT TO STOPI’M THE HIP HOP MESSIAH HERE TO WEED OUT HOMOSSTEP UP TO ME AND TAKE A SHOT TO THE DOME, YOBECAUSE WHEN I’M ON THE MIC IT GETS AS QUIET AS A MOUSESO MAKE LIKE A SAVAGE TRAPPED IN A LIGHTHOUSEAND KILL YOURSELF FAGGOT, ALL YOUR POINTS’VE BEEN COUNTEREDGOT YOURSELF A BITCH? WELL IT’S TIME FOR ME TO MOUNT HER

I’M THE BADDEST MC ANY FAGGOT’S EVER SEENGO AND DROP ACID IF YOU WANNA KNOW HOW I’VE BEENCAUSE I’M YOUR BOY ALDOUS, BEST BE LOYAL TO MENOW I’M OFF TO SEE MORRISON HE OWES ME A ROYALTY

NOW LET'S HANG FIRE, FORGET THEM MUTHAFUCKAS' NAMES CAUSE I'M HEAD NIGGA IN CHARGE: I'M HENRY MUTHAFUCKIN' JAMES.IN WASHINGTON SQUARE I WAS BORN AND RAISED WITH MY SWEDENBORGIAN DAD I SPENT MY EARLIEST DAYS THEN I WENT OFF TO EUROPE FOR THE BITCHES ANDHOES AND SPIT OUT SOME SUBTLE AND TORTUOUS PROSE WHEN A COUPLE OF GUYS (WHOM I LATER WOULD KILL) MOCKED THE OPENING NIGHT OF "GUY DOMVILLE" I WAS HISSED OF THE STAGE, IT WAS MY AWKWARD AGE AND I GOT CARPAL TUNNEL AND WAS FULL OF RAGE BUT WITH MY ACE AMANUENSIS MISS BOSANQUET I STARTED DICTATIN' NOVELS COUPLE PAGE A DAY, SHE TYPED IT ALL OUT WHILE I FREESTYLE FOR HERNOW I'M THE MUTHAFUCKIN' MASTER (AS IT WERE) DEVOTED TO SUBTLETY WITH ALL MY SOUL CHECK OUT MY MUTHAFUCKIN' BLING---IT'S A GOLDEN BOWL. AND WHAT DID MAISIE KNOW? DON'T THINK I CAN STATE IT: MY MIND IS SO FINE NO IDEA CAN VIOLATE IT, PUBLISHED THE NEW YORK EDITION, STARTED CASHIN' MY CHEQUES AND I MOVED IN TO LAMB HOUSE, IN RYE, SUS-SEX, YOU FUCK WITH ME, FOOL? I'LL EAT YOUR FACE FOR DESSERT, (AS GUY BRISSENDEN ONCE SAID TO FORD OBERT) I'LL MAKE YO MUTHAFUCKIN' ASS FEEL SOME OBSCURE HURT.

PISS ON THOSE MUTHAFUCKAS CAUSE I KNOW YOU'RE GETTING BOREDYOU OUGHTTA MEET THE MAN WHO'LL MAKE YOU SAY "MY LORD"

IT'S IRONIC SOMETHING CHRONICYOU COULD EVEN SAY BYRONIC(AN ADJECTIVE THAT STILL MUST LIVE AS SURELY AS "MILTONIC")THAT THE SUPERSONIC COMET THAT WAS MY WORLDWIDE FAME(SECOND ONLY TO NAPOLEON AS A ROMANTIC NAME)SHOULD EVER FADE AWAY OR SHOULD EVER SEEM A FADCAUSE I'M STILL MAD AND BAD AND DANGEROUS TO KNOWI STILL GLOWER LIKE THE GIAOURAND LAUGH WITH BEPPO, YOI HAD WINCEST WITH MY SISTERAND YOU KNOW I MORE THAN KISSED HERWROTE SOME CANTOS FOR DON JUANEVERY NIGHT I WROTE A NEW ONEWHEN I CAME HOME DRUNKWITH A LADY OR A PUNKCAUSE MY VERSE WAS DOPE BUT MY LIFE WAS CRUNK

YEAH THEN I LIBERATED GREECE FROM THE OTTOMAN:KISS MY ASS, MUTHAFUCKAS, TELL ME: WHAT HAVE *YOU* DONE?

BITCHES DROP THEM PANTIES FOR ME, I’M TIM O’BRIENNIGGA YOU AIN’T GOT GAME, FRONTIN’, BE LYIN’CAME BACK FROM GETTIN’ SHOT IN VIETNAMNOW RAPPIN’ AND DROPPIN’ DEM BOMBSFUCK MODERNISM THAT SHITS WHACKROLL WIT POST MODERNISM OR GET IN THE BACKCAUSE MODERNIST AIN’T GOT SHIT ON MEHEMINGWAY AND FAULKNER CAN SUCK ON DEEZFITGERALD GET FUCKED, I’M THE GREATEST GATSBYPULL OUT MY TEK-9 AND GO OUT ON SHOOTIN’ SPREENAH FUCK THAT I ROLL WITH AN M FOURKEEP IT REAL FOR THE HOMIE LOST IN THE WARHE DIED IN A WARZONE, DROPPED BY A MINEI FUCKED HIS OLD LADY AND DRANK HIS WINEFUCK THAT CACCIATO PUNK RUNNIN SCARED

BITCHES DROP THEM PANTIES FOR ME, I’M TIM O’BRIENNIGGA YOU AIN’T GOT GAME, FRONTIN’, BE LYIN’CAME BACK FROM GETTIN’ SHOT IN VIETNAMNOW RAPPIN’ AND DROPPIN’ DEM BOMBSFUCK MODERNISM THAT SHITS WHACKROLL WIT POST MODERNISM OR GET IN THE BACKCAUSE MODERNIST AIN’T GOT SHIT ON MEHEMINGWAY AND FAULKNER CAN SUCK ON DEEZFITGERALD GET FUCKED, I’M THE GREATEST GATSBYPULL OUT MY TEK-9 AND GO OUT ON SHOOTIN’ SPREENAH FUCK THAT I ROLL WITH AN M FOURKEEP IT REAL FOR THE HOMIE LOST IN THE WARHE DIED IN A WARZONE, DROPPED BY A MINEI FUCKED HIS OLD LADY AND DRANK HIS WINEFUCK THAT CACCIATO PUNK RUNNIN SCAREDWHEN I FIND HIS ASS, HE AIN’T BEIN’ SPAREDBUT MAN FUCK THAT CAUSE I TEACH AT TEXAS STATEKEEP IT REAL, POP YOU WITH A NINE IF YOU LATE

I'M THE MASTER OF THE EPIC AND I'LL SEND YA TO A COMAI KNOW YA HEARD MAH NAME-- I'M THE ONLY OG GANGSTA, ALSO KNOWN AS HOMERI SEEN THAT BITCH'S FACE WHO LAUNCHED A THOUSAND SHIPSI EVEN STUCK MY COCK RIGHT BETWEEN THAT BITCH'S LIPSEVEN THOUGH I'M BLIND I COULD DESCRIBEALL THE SEAS WHICH MEN DO RIDE,YA KNOW HOW I DO, YA KNOW MY VIBE,BUT INSIDE ALL MY SHIT'S THE DIRTY METAPHORSLASTIN 20 LINES SO I CAN SETTLE ALL THE SCORES.I RECORDED ALL THE HISTORY AND ADD A BIT OF MYTHWHATCHU KNOW BOUT DAT SON? IT'S JUST THE WAY I SPIT,IT AIN'T A GAME MOTHAFUCKAS THIS THA TRAGIC AND SUBLIME,ODYSSEUS WAS ONLY MAN TIL I MADE HUBRIS A CRIME.I SAW TROY FALL AND DEPICTED ALL THE FORCES,YOU BITCHES WOULDN'T KNOW DRAMA IF I HADN'T PUT IT THROUGH ITS COURSES,OLD SCHOOL LIKE THE ACADEMIESBEFORE THERE WAS EVEN SOCRATES!

WORD TO YOUR MOM'S BITCH.SHOUT OUT TO AGAMEMNON, ACHILLES, ALL MY KING PIMPS AND NIGGAS ROUND TROY. PEACE!

I'M THE MASTER OF THE EPIC AND I'LL SEND YA TO A COMAI KNOW YA HEARD MAH NAME-- I'M THE ONLY OG GANGSTA, ALSO KNOWN AS HOMERI SEEN THAT BITCH'S FACE WHO LAUNCHED TEN THOUSAND SHIPSI EVEN STUCK MY DICK RIGHT BETWEEN THAT BITCH'S LIPSEVEN THOUGH I'M BLIND I COULD DESCRIBEALL THE SEAS WHICH MEN DO RIDE,YA KNOW HOW I DO, YA KNOW MY VIBE,BUT INSIDE ALL MY SHIT'S THE DIRTY METAPHORSLASTIN 20 LINES SO I CAN SETTLE ALL THE SCORES.I RECORDED ALL THE HISTORY AND ADD A BIT OF MYTHWHATCHU KNOW BOUT DAT SON? IT'S JUST THE WAY I SPIT,IT AIN'T A GAME MOTHAFUCKAS THIS THA TRAGIC AND SUBLIME,ODYSSEUS WAS ONLY MAN TIL I MADE HUBRIS A CRIME.I SAW TROY FALL AND DEPICTED ALL THE FORCES,YOU BITCHES WOULDN'T KNOW DRAMA IF I HADN'T PUT IT THROUGH ITS COURSES,OLD SCHOOL LIKE THE ACADEMIESBEFORE THERE WAS EVEN SOCRATES!

WORD TO YOUR MOM'S BITCH.SHOUT OUT TO AGAMEMNON, ACHILLES, ALL MY KING PIMPS AND NIGGAS ROUND TROY. PEACE!

YEAH, I'M LATE TO THE PARTY, SO WHAT? I APPEAR AT THEM HARDLY.YO, MY NAME'S HARPER LEE AND I'M IN ON THIS SHITLIKE THAT FUCKIN BOB EWELL, YOUR REALLY JUST A TWITI MAY NEVER HINT THAT BOO'S GOT GRIT, THAT HE'S AS HEROIC AS ATTICUS FINCH,BY Y'ALL HEARD I'M FROM THE SOUTH, BUT NO RACIST SHIT'S COME OUTTA MY MOUTH.I JUST LIKE TO SIT BACK AND TELL EM,BOUT A TOMBOY NAMED SCOUT AND HER BROTHER JEM,

ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME TO BRING THIS SHITEVER HAD A WORST NIGHTMARE? YOU BEST BELIEVE I'M ITALL YOU ELITIST LITTLE FUCKS CAN COME AND SUCK MY DICK'CAUSE I'M RULING HALF THE WORLD WITH SELF-INDULGENT FAPFIC

THINK MY CHARACTERS ARE LAME AND TWO-DIMENSIONAL?OR PERHAPS MY HALF-BAKED PLOTS ARE UNINTENTIONAL?WELL CRY SOME MORE, FAGGOTS, THEY MAY BE MARY-SUEBUT THEY SURE AS HELL GET A THOUSAND TIMES MORE PUSSY THAN YOU

I'M ROLLING IN THE DOLLARS LIKE YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVEI'VE GOT SO MANY FANS I GOT COMPLIMENTARY DEGREEYOU'RE ALL JUST FUCKING BUTTHURT, TRYING TO GET ME TO GROVELBECAUSE THEY EAT UP ALL MY BULLSHIT BUT WOULDN'T PUBLISH YOUR NOVEL

SO ALL YOU HATERS BETTER SHUT IT AND SIT THE FUCK BACK DOWNBECAUSE WHEN IT COMES TO TROLLING LITERATURE I WEAR THE MOTHERFUCKING CROWN

>THINK MY CHARACTERS ARE LAME AND TWO-DIMENSIONAL?>OR PERHAPS MY HALF-BAKED PLOTS ARE UNINTENTIONAL?>WELL CRY SOME MORE, FAGGOTS, THEY MAY BE MARY-SUE>BUT THEY SURE AS HELL GET A THOUSAND TIMES MORE PUSSY THAN YOU

MOTHERFUCKER STAY IGNORANT CUZ I SAY SOTHATS RIGHT BITCH THIS BE DAT NIGGA PLATODISCOURSAN AND SHIT CAN BE SO DAMN FREEINBUT SHUT YOUR MOUF CUZ U STRAIGHT PLEBEIANIMA UP N BAN YOUR SHITTY BOOKS CUZ NIGGA LOOKTHAT CRAP IS LESS REAL THAN THE DOOK I JUST TOOKTHRICE REMOVED .. MY VOCAB IS IN THE GROOVEFUCKIN YOUNG'NS CUZ MY TONGUE BE SO SMOOTHYOU READ THE REPUBLIC SO NOW YOU CAN SHUT ITIM A CATAMITE, MOTHERFUCKER, AND I SHOVE ITBUT IN THE MEAN TIME, THE IN BETWEEN TIMESIMA TELL U MY PLAN WITH THIS DOPE ASS RHYMEMY END GAME IS A STRAIGHT DYSTOPIAN FASCIST STATEOH SHIT I FOUND SOME SHOTTA ONLINE, TIME TO MASTERBATEBITCH PLEASE. I INVENTED FUCKING PHILOSOPHYAINT NO NIGGA COME OUT EVER COME CLOSE TO STOPPIN ME

ABOUT HOW FAR DID YOU THINK THIS THREAD COULD GO BEFORE YOUR BOY MARKY MARK DECIDED TO SHOW?I’VE BEEN WATCHIN SUCKAS FAILIN AND IT’S GETTING HARD TO STANDSO IT’S TIME FOR ME TO SPIT IT WHILE MY SHIT’S IN DEMAND

SEE I DON’T NEED DUKE’S JIM TO REAP MY RIGHTEOUS BOUNTYFOR I INVENTED HIP HOP WITH THE FROG OF CALAVERAS COUNTYAND PERHAPS YOU THINK MY WORDPLAY IS A LITTLE BIT CORNYBUT THERE’S NEVER BEEN A COMEDIAN OF MY CALIBUR BEFORE ME

NOW THERE’S SOME PUSSYFAGGOTS OUT THERE DON’T LIKE THE WORD NIGGERBUT WHILE THEY CRY THEMSELVES TO SLEEP MY WALLET’S GETTIN BIGGERSO YOU HOMO LIBERAL LOSERS CAN HELP SOME DARKIES IN A HOVELBUT THERE’S NO NIGGER I KNOW OF WHO WROTE THE GREAT AMERICAN NOVEL

CENSOR ME OR EDIT ME YOU’LL NEVER DISCREDIT MEI’M THE FATHER OF AMERICAN LITERATURE SO WHY DON’T YOU JUST LET IT BE?AND ME BEING THE FATHER MAKES THE REST OF YOU MY KIDDIESHOW’S IT FEEL BEIN THE PRODUCT OF ME AND ALL MY BIDDIES?

IT’S TIME TO SUCK DADDY’S DICK IF YOU CAN GET AROUND THE WARTI’LL SCHOOL YOU HARDER THAN A YANKEE IN KING ARTHUR’S COURTBECAUSE NO ONE BRINGS THE PAIN LIKE MOTHERFUCKING MARK TWAINI MIGHT LOOK LIKE EINSTEIN BUT I’VE GOT TWICE THE BRAIN

GIVE IT UP, BIZNATCHES! AUNTIE WIZ IS IN THE HIZZLE;AND JUST ONE GLIMPSE OF WYSTAN'S WIZENED PHIZ'LLGIVE YOU A HARD-ONFOR AUDENYOU BITCHES GET YOUR BARD ON:YOU CAN LAY ME GIVE ME SLEEPING HEAD MY LOVE IN CHRIST-CHURCH GARDEN,CAUSE YOU KEEP SUCKIN MY BONELIKE A MENHIR OF LIMESTONEAS YOU PROLIFICALLY DEVOUR ME I BUCK AND MOANIN SONNETS AND SESTINAS, LIMERICKS, VERS LIBRE AND PROSESPEW LIBRETTI LIKE CONFETTI ON THE SETTEE WHERE SHE PLATONICALLY BLOWS.WITH PHILOSOPHIC RUMINATIONS AND FORMALISTIC TOURS-DE-FORCEAND ELEGIES AND ALLEGORIES AND TRAVELOGUES OF COURSE,AND OPERAS WITH CHESTER (WHO'S HUNG LIKE A LOVELY HORSE,THOUGH HIS NONSTOP INFIDELITIES JUST MIGHT FORCE US TO DIVORCE).BUT ALL THE BOOZE AND BENZEDRINE AFFECTED MY BRAIN,MY FACE LOOKS LIKE A WEDDING-CAKE LEFT OUT IN THE RAIN,BUT LET'S NOT IGNORE THE MOST VITAL STATS:ONCE YEATS WAS DEAD, I WAS KING OF THE CATS

>>2000491YO HOLD UP BITCH, YOU BEST QUIT YAPPIN YOUR JAWS,ALL YOU DONE SINCE THAT BOOK IS GO THROUGH THE MENOPAUSEAND ANYWAY WE ALL KNOW I REALLY WROTE THAT SHITYOU JUST A BITER, A LIL' ALABAMAN NITWIT

WE MIGHTA DONE A LITTLE RESEARCH TOGETHER IN THE SIXTIES,BUT WHO'S THE ONE THAT THE BITCHES ASK, " CAN I SUCK YO DICK, T?"

I BEEN WRITIN LIKE A MUFUCKA SINCE I WAS IN SIXTH GRADEWHILE YOU WERE SITTIN ON YOUR DADDY'S PORCH, SUCKIN LEMONADE

I HUNG WITH WARHOL, HE JIZZED WHEN HE SAW MY PORTRAITAGAINST MY NEAR-PERFECT RECALL ALL OTHERS OUGHTA JUST FORFEIT

YEAH I'M GAY AND IN THE CIRCLES I TRAVEL I'M A KNOWN STUDSTEP TO ME AND I'LL OPEN UP YA HEAD IN COLD BLOOD

DAMN, TRUE CRIME, PROSTITUTES AND AUTOBIOGRAPHYY'ALL BETTER JUST KNEEL AT THE FEET OF LORD CAPOTE

Y'ALL ACT LIKE YOU NEVER SEEN NO "WHITE TEETH" BEFORE, AUTOGRAPH MAN AT THE DOOR,LIKE YOU'D GROWN UP POORLIKE YOU DIDN'T TO CAMBRIDGE AND THEN PUBLISH YOURTHREE NAVELGAZING NOVELS, SO LOVELY, TO CULTURAL ACCLAIMOR MULTICULTURAL ANYWAY, WHICH IS MUCH THE SAME,BUT BRINGS A LARGER MEASURE OF TRANSATLANTIC FAME.I'M LIKE THE RETURN OF---WAIT?HAVE I GOT A FOURTH BOOK IN?I'M TEACHING NOW IN BROOKLYNAND BITCHING IN MY ARTICLES FOR THE N.Y.R.B."MARK ZUCKERBERG SUCKS, HEE HEE!"AND I WONDER IF MARTIN AMIS THINKS I'M MONICA ALI?BUT FAUX-AMIS ARE ALWAYS GONNA FOLLOW ME,I MOVE TO BROOKLYN LIKE THE BECKHAMS AND THEN AMIS FUCKING FOLLOWS ME,IT'S CAUSE HE WANTS TO BEON THE BOOTYTHAT WROTE "ON BEAUTY"---I WANT IT KISSED,I WANT ACKNOWLEDGEMENT THAT I'M A DECENT NOVELISTWHY? SO YOU BITCHES CAN PUT ME ON YOUR GRANTA UNDER-40 LIST?WHY?CAUSE I'M SMITH, ZADIEYES I'M THE REAL ZADIEALL YOU OTHER SMITH ZADIES ARE JUST IMITATINGSO WON'T THE REAL SMITH ZADIEPLEASE STAND UP?PLEASE STAND UP?PLEASE STAND UP?

BACK DOWN ALL Y'ALL IT'S TIME FOR RETRIBUTIONCOS THE MASTER IS HERE AND HIS RHYMES ARE CONFUCIANSO ALL YOU NIGGAS COOL IT I GOT THE WISDOM OF THE AGESIMMA STEP IN SHOW YOU WHAT THE WAY OF A SAGE ISSEE I WAS SCHOOLING NIGGAS WAY BACK BEFORE JESUSHAD ORIENTAL BITCHES SCREAMING 'OH HE KNOW HOW TO PLEASE US'BENEVOLENCEREVERENCEAND JUST A TOUCH OF ELEGANCEYEAH, IN OTHER WORDS FOOLS I'M STYLING ON YOUYOUR RHYMES ARE KARATE WHILE MY SHIT IS KUNG-FUAND I KNOW YOU'VE SEEN MY TEMPLES- YEAH, I GUESS I GOT MY FANSTHEM BITCHES JUST RESPECTING THE SUPERIOR MAN

>>2000800THE WAY THAT CAN BE TOLD IS NOT THE UNCHANGING WAY, FOOLTHE NAMES THAT CAN BE NAMED ARE NOT THE UNCHANGING NAMES"OH SHIT NIGGAS IS HE JUST TRYIN' TO CONFUSE US?"YEAH IT'S LAOZI IN THE HOUSE NOW, SCHOOLIN' CONFUCIUSBEST STEP BACK ALL YOU BITCHES COS YOU KNOW THAT I'M RUTHLESSLIKE HEAVEN AND EARTH- AND Y'ALL ARE JUST STRAW DOGSSO BE LIKE WATER- YIELD- TAKE THE PATH OF INACTIONIF I SEE ONE OF YOU STRIVING I'LL PUT YOU IN TRACTIONYEAH MY WAY IS SUPREME, MAN, IT CAN'T BE DEFINEDBUT I JUST TOLD YOU IT- OH SHIT DID THAT BLOW YOUR MINDS?WELL I DIDN'T MEAN TO CAUSE A KERFUFFLESO I'LL JUST HEAD WEST ON THIS OLD WATER BUFFAL-OH

MY READERS ARE YOU WITH ME, WHERE YOU AT?IN THE FRONT, IN THE BACKNOVELISTS ON ATTACK

WORD, LET ME DROP SOME CRITICISM ON YOU FAKERSMY BIBLIOGRAPHY CONSISTS OF ONLY THE MOST EXCITING PAPERSTHE HEAT FROM MY FUSION OF STYLES WILL REDUCE Y'ALL TO VAPORSMY STYLE CAN MOVE THE EARTH LIKE M'A'FUCKIN LANDSCAPERS

SOME BITCHES DON'T LIKE MY DEPICTIONS OF FEMALE CHARACTERSTHEY ALL BEST STEP OFF, STOP OBJECTIN' LIKE A BARRISTERJUST 'CAUSE OF MY STORIES, YOU THINK I'M SEXIST?YOU DON'T KNOW MEYOU'RE TOO STUPID TO HAVE READ SEXUS, PLEXUS, OR NEXUS

PENS DOWN, OR I'LL STICK YOU IN SOME AIR-CONDITIONED NIGHTMAREAND NOBODY WILL EVER READ THE SCRIBBLES THAT YOU MAKE THEREOH WAIT, THAT'S NO DIFFERENT FROM WHERE YOU SPENT YOUR WHOLE LIFETHINKING YOUR STYLE IS SO HOT, WHILE I'M UPSTAIRS WITH YOUR WIFE

YOU EVER EVEN HEARD OF THE TROPIC OF CAPRICORN?BEFORE YOU WERE EVEN BORN THAT SHIT WAS A THORNIN THE SIDES OF PISSY LITTLE PRUDES JUST LIKE YOUWHO WOULDN'T EVEN TOUCH A PUSSY IF THEIR MAMAS TOLD 'EM TO

EVEN CONFINED TO A BED I'M A FORCE THEY CAN'T STOPWITH JUST A COUPLE OF LETTERS I MADE MISS TEXAS' PANTIES DROPSO GO HOME ALONE AND HAVE FUN WITH YOUR HAND'CUZ WE ALL KNOW WHO'S THE REAL FUCKIN' MAN

AND I AIN'T JUST A DUDE WHO SITS ALL DAY AT THE TYPEWRITERSI MAKE PAINTINGS SO ABSTRACT THEY CONFUSE YOU SILLY BITERSCHECK OUT MY LITHOGRAPHS AND ETCHINGS, THEY'RE ALL STRAIGHT UP KILLERYOU KNOW WHY?'CUZ I'M THE H. MILLER.

>>2000867OK, SO I'M DANTE, YOU MIGHTA HEARD OF MEI'M THE THIRD OF THE THREE FOUNTAINS AND A CERTIFIED G

I GOT THE BELLA DONNAS ALL VYIN' FOR A DRINKOF THE ONLY FLUID I SPREAD INTO THE WORLD MORE THAN MY INKOH, SORRY, DOES THAT LITTLE RHYME OFFEND YOU?WELL, IN MY INFERNO, PLEASANTRIES AIN'T ON THE MENU.

WHILE YOU WERE ALL STRUGGLIN' THROUGH MY 9 CIRCLESI WAS GETTIN' MORE FANS THAN THE MUTHAFUCKIN' URKELS

AS WELL AS RULIN' SUPREME OVER ALL POETRY THAT EXISTSI'M INTO DISTRIBUTION, BEING THE MOST BALLIN PHARMACISTYOU CAN CATCH ME AT THE APOTHECARY, WHERE I DISPENSE THE ILLEST DRUGSYOU'LL KNOW IT WHEN YOU SEE IT, SURROUNDED BY ALL MY THUGS

I'M SO FLY, EVEN MY PROFILE IS GLORIOUSCENTURIES LATER THEY'LL STILL KNOW MY FACE, THAT'S HOW NOTORIOUSMY COMEDY IS, THE ONE THAT'S KNOWN AS DIVINEI TAKE MY TIME, THAT'S HOW I MAKE MY SHIT SO SUBLIME

SO NOW I'VE CUT Y'ALL OFF, I THINK IT'S TIME FOR A RESTBUT DON'T LOOK SO DEPRESSEDYOU'VE JUST BEEN BEATEN BY THE BEST

Shut your blabber mouth an' listen Haters on blast 'cause this shit's just inHere comes conan doyle, but you can call me sirHeard your mom went missing, but don't you worry I got her

Fools like poe, they' re not to blameWhen it comes to mystery I put that shit to shameYou like the gold bug, try my hound of baskervillesHe lives in an asylum, I rock it in the hills

You can bash my 'stache but you can't touch my tomesmoriarty, watson, and sherlock shut you up holmeswhen you read my books you're gonna have to rewindYour sad little bug brain can't keep up with my mind

When it comes to cash there ain't none bettahAsk all the hoes doyle's got the fetawhen it comes to sleuthing I can get it doneYou can't even follow you're all wat, son?

>>2001374...been lurking 4chan for about 3 years.dont think ive ever before noticed any single post being deleted.guess i dont pay much attention.this alarmist information has caused me to save the page!

ALL THEM HOES BE UP ON JOYCE'S DICKBUT MY MODERNISM WASN'T GIMMICKY TRICKS,NO CONSCIOUSNESS A STREAMINGJUST BOATS A STEAMINGAND ANARCHIST MEETINGSAND BETRAYER FLEEINGS.

DIDNT WRITE ANY OF THAT PUSSY POETRY,BUT MY SYNTAX STILL FULL OF FLOWETRY.TALK ABOUT COLONIALISM, YOU KNOW IT'S ME,CUZ MY SHIT'S SERIOUS, NO COQUETRY.

DONT NEED SOME PUSSY-ASS NOBEL PRIZECUZ IM THAT TRUE ARTIST WHO NEVER CRIES.FOOLS CAN'T READ ME. I'M ANOTHER LEVEL SHIT,BUT YOU DON'T GET ME ANYWAYS. I'M DAT SOLIPSIST.I was waiting for so long for someone to make this one, but, alas, nobody appreciates this guy.

GIVE IT UP, BIZNATCHES! AUNTIE WIZ IS IN THE HIZZLE;AND JUST ONE GLIMPSE OF WYSTAN'S WIZENED PHIZ'LLGIVE YOU A HARD-ONFOR AUDENSO YOU BITCHES GET YOUR BARD ON:YOU CAN LAY ME GIVE ME SLEEPING HEAD MY LOVE IN CHRIST-CHURCH GARDEN,AND KEEP SUCKIN ON MY BONELIKE A MENHIR OF LIMESTONEAS YOU PROLIFICALLY DEVOUR ME, I BUCK AND MOANWITH SONNETS AND SESTINAS, VERS-LIBRE, LIMERICKS, AND PROSESPEW LIBRETTI LIKE CONFETTI ON THE SETTEE WHERE HE PLATONICALLY BLOWS.WITH PHILOSOPHIC RUMINATIONS AND FORMALISTIC TOURS-DE-FORCEAND ELEGIES AND ALLEGORIES AND TRAVELOGUES OF COURSE,AND OPERAS WITH CHESTER (WHO'S HUNG LIKE A LOVELY HORSE,THOUGH HIS NONSTOP INFIDELITIES JUST MIGHT FORCE US TO DIVORCE).BUT ALL THE BOOZE AND BENZEDRINE AFFECTED MY BRAIN,MY FACE LOOKS LIKE A WEDDING-CAKE LEFT OUT IN THE RAIN,

wow, how absurd and idiosyncratic! an intellectual is talking like a negro!

4chan is lowbrow and shit check out somethingawful FYAD it is literally civilizations and lightyears ahead of you guys, you are human toilets that deserve death, you are pure personality garbage, eat shit.

Ha ha now its timeFor deez to kick a dope lineRemember that nas line " yo son lets get it don"Im fucking illmatic sonSpiting flows like hoes outta my dickRunning 100miles in this rap shitYou a newfag, who cant triforce, (shiit)

Fuck yall lames, i fuck great damesHave sex with minors like it aint a thangMake the bitch dribble and shakeLike im big daddy kangTelling newfags to take it in bloodDeez putting out lyrical diseaseKilling yall all like the mad cow dieasee

Y'ALL LITERARY THEORISTS RECOGNIZE ME -- AMIRITE?I'M JACQUES LACAN AND YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND A FUCKING THING I WRITEHAVE FUN CRAMMING MY DENSE THEORIES INTO YOUR SKULLSJUST SO YOU KNOW, I WROTE THEM FOR THE LULZ

WHY YO MOUTH OPEN WHEN MY COCK AIN'T IN IT?JIM T BOUT TO FUCK YOU UP IN A MINUTEICE COLD, I'M BOLD LIKE THE KILLER INSIDE MEBEST FOLD, YOU'RE TOO OLD TO RUN OFF AND HIDE, GYOU NIGGAZ SAY YOU HARD BUT I'LL MAKE YA BLOOD CURLMY SHIT IS SO NASTY IT'LL MAKE A C.H.U.D. HURL

Nu uh this aint rightIm back in /litSeems these lames only come out at nightWearing all black like you some gBitch please, you looking like a refugeeStfu post triforce or you r-i-pDeez, recognise whos putting yall at easeNewfags have to spit about guns and treesBut ima real mc, telling yall the thruth about /lit

You hate it when im on /litNewfags and wanna b rappersIm so well rated, educated and never fadedLast thing i say is your all just been dated

Uhh yeah im on fireIts Been too long but rap is my desireLooking at 4chan like its somthing higerNot just a trap thread or furriesIts skilles minds on lit keeping it realFuck being a slave, id rather be madeI am made the fuxk you onLiving in a city, were no1 knowsDriving wreckless in my bmwRunning thru hoes130 reasons why im goldFrom my swagger to my toesFull of life and richesMy beemah cant hold still while im fucking these bitchesIts hungy for a bit of gas , put my m3 in neturaland give noobs a running startGo..i dont feel a single ounce of pressureMy m3 tuned, it smokes ricers and most haters499hp my games tunedNo not like sep 11 wtc debarklShits sad wen its a inside jobMy beemah comes nevet undone . My rego reads sparkle

>>1994733OH CAMUS, IT'S CAMUS AND HE THINKS HE'S A GANSTER"REVOLUTION'S MY COLON WITH A SARTRE CUM CANISTER"IN THE REAL REVOLUTION I WAS RISKING MAH LIFE EXPROPRIATING RANDOM SHIT WITH MY ODESSA JIVEAND THE REACTION-ARIES I HAVE DEVOURED WITH MAH SABRERIDING WITH SEMYON BUDYONNIY LIBERTIN THE LABOURWHEN THE REACTION CAME TO FRANCE - YES, HE RODE TOO, BUT THEIR COCKHE WROTE A HEIDEGGER NOVEL ABOUT DECADENT SHLOCKTHEN I DISSED J.STALIN; MOTHERFUCKER I GOT BALLZAND I GOT TORTURED AND KILLED, FOR REVOLUTION, PALZBUT WHEN LES HOMOS REVOLTENT IT'S JUST FOR BOHEMIAN FLAVOURTHEIR EXISTENTIAL REVOLUTIONS ARE JUST HANDJOB FAVOURS

WELL LOOK WHO WE GOTSPITTING RHYMES UP IN /LITIT'S BRET EASTON ELLIS IN THE HOUSECAN Y'ALL NIGGAZ BELIEVE THIS SHIT?

YOU MOTHERFUCKERS WERE SO OLD AND STODGY, THEY CALLED ME A PRODIGYALL CUZ "LESS THAN ZERO" HAD LOLIS GETTIN' RAILED DOGGIEI MAKE NO APOLOGY FOR THE HARSH DICTION IN MY FICTIONCRITICS IMPUGN MY ULTRAVIOLENCE, BUT I KNOW Y'ALL FAP TO THIS SHIT

WHO BETTER TO CAPTURE THE DECADENCEAND ALIENATION OF THE EIGHTIESTHAN A BANKER DISMEMBERING BITCHESTHEN DRIVING OFF IN HIS MERCEDES

I WROTE A CONFESSION TO TALK ABOUT THE SHIT THAT I DID AS A KIDTURNS OUT THAT I WAS A HOOD RAT FOLLOWING MY TIMES AS A MANACHEANDIDN'T KNOW MY FRIENDS LIFE WAS A LEAVIN'DIDN'T KNOW THAT MY CALLING WAS TO GODBUT THEN I FOUND HIM AND AFTER THAT

I RAN THE PLACE LEFT AND RIGHT EACHING RIGHT AND WRONGSPENT THE LAST OF MY YEARS MAKING SENSE OF THE BIBLEKNEW THIS WAS RIGHT MAKING SENSE OF THE INSENSIBLE

NOW GATHER ROUND BITCHES AND I'LL SING YOU A BALLADOF A BALLIN' MUTHAFUCKA- YEAH, ME, J.G. BALLARDHA HAWE DON'T NEED YOUR WHACK-ASS SPACESHIPS TO GET NO PLACECOS THE MIND'S OUR DESTINATION- MUTHAFUCKIN' INNERSPACEYEAH YOU TRIPPIN' NOW FOOLS AS I SHOW YOU MY FINESSEAND THE BLING THAT YOU BRING- WELL THAT SHIT WILL DELIQUESCEWITH A QUICKNESSOH YOU'RE FREAKED OUT NOW BY MY DYSTOPIAN TREND?I'LL SHOW YOU FOUR DIFFERENT WAYS THAT THE WORLD COULD ENDNOW I'LL LEAVE YOU WANTING MORE WITH YOUR BRAIN ALL FRIEDWHEN YOU READY I'LL BE HERE- MUTHAFUCKIN' SHANGHAI

ALTHOUGH THIS THREAD DOESN'T HAVE ME YETI'VE GOT THE BEST FUCKING PROSE THE LAST CENTURY'S SEEN YETMY SHORT STORIES ARE TRIPPIN' BALLSBUT THAT DAMN WELL AIN'T ALLYOU CAN'T EVEN COMPETE, SONWITH FAHRENHEIT FOUR FIVE ONEON EARTH OR ON MARS THE FUTURE LOOKS SICKSO PREPARE TO HAVE YOUR MIND FUCKED BY MY MASSIVE DICKWITH REAL STAYING POWER MY SHIT'S JUST SUBLIMENOW YOU HO'S ALL FUCK OFF SO I CAN GO DRINK DANDELION WINE

OFF TO THE DUSTBINWITH RATIONALISM AND STRUCTUREPRIVILEGING LOGIC IS LIKE RAPE -- IT'S NO WONDER NAOMI SAYS YOU FUCKED HERSO I HOPE YOU DON'T MINDIF I FUCK YOUR CANONDECONTEXTUALIZING EVERYTHING WITH RADICAL ABANDON

OH -- WHAT'S THAT, I HEAR?YOU THINK THERE'S A DISTINCTIONBETWEEN GREAT WORKS OF LIT, AND SHITTY COMMERCIAL FICTION?BETWEEN STEPHANIE MEYER, AND HOMER CAST IN BRONZE?YOU MAY KNOW THE DIFFERENCE, BLOOMBUT YOU NEGLECT LE DIFFERANCE

HERP DERP DIDDLY DOO, I'M THE BOMB WHEN I SPIT/AND THE THRONGS KNOW THIS SHIT: THAT THE SONGS THAT I FLIPGET IT DONE, MAKE YOU BAWL LIKE YOUR BONGWATER TIPPED, I SAY NOTHING I'M A RETARD I'M ANON ON A /LIT/BUT oops

LADIES AND CHAPS, IT'S ME THOMAS STEARNSAND AS IT APPEARS, YA'LL NEED TO LEARNI AM A WITTY MAN WHO WENT TO ENGLANDBECAUSE I BECAME BORED WITH THE LIKES OF THE AMERICAN

THOUGH YOU ALL ARE UNREMARKABLEI STILL MANAGE TO SPEAK IN PARABLESLIKE JESUS BEFORE ME, I FIND REDEMPTION IN THIS LIFEIF I HAD MY WAY, I WOULD KNIFE MY WIFESHE DID SOME NAUGHTY NAUGHTY WITH A MAN I NEED NOT NAME

I'M NOT A HOLLOW MAN, FOR I STILL HAVE MY SPINEA SOUL THAT CAN ONLY BE MINEJ. ALFRED PRUFROCK, THAT ISN'T EVEN A NAMEI CAME UP WITH THAT WHILE WATCHING A BALL GAME

LIKE THE FISHER KING, I SHORE MYSELF AGAINST RUINBUT DON'T THINK THIS IS THE LAST OF YO' DOIN'MISTER ELIOT UP IN THIS ESTATEA PEACH, I DECIDED TO ATE

Then take your drawers off,and work your legs. Open your ass up like a keg.Let me tap it, I must have it, hmm.Furry fool, you are mine. I'll drink your ass like wine, and when semen pours all over your head you know you must be dead.

THEN TAKE YOU DRAWERS OFFAND WORK YOUR LEGSOPEN YOUR ASS UP LIKE A KEGLET ME TAP ITI MUST HAVE IT HMMFURRY FOOL, YOU ARE MINEI DRINK YOU ASS LIKE WINEAND WHEN SEMEN POURS ALL OVER YOUR HEADYOU KNOW YOU MUST BE DEAD

ALL YOU PRETTY POETESSES GONNA GET YO WISHGONNA SMOOVE YOU GROOVE YOU MOVE YOU WITH THE PERCY BYSSHEJUST LIKE MY SLIPPERY SIMILES AS THEY TAKIN WING, GIRLYOU GONNA CREEP, CRAWL, BUST YO NUT, AND SING, GIRLI'M LIKE PURE M.D.M.A. MIXED WITH DIRTY PURPLE DRANKMIXED BY QUEEN MAB AND HER MAENADS ATOP MOUNT BLANC,WITH THE WITCH OF ATLAS NAKED SERVING KETAMINE AND ZIMAAS I SCRIBBLE OUT A REAM OF TERZA-RIMACAUSE I GOT NO FLAWSAND WHILE BYRON BAWWWSI BE MAKIN' THE LAWSI'M THE SECRET LEGISLATOR FOR ALL THE GIRLSWITH MY FLUENT HELLENISM AND MY LUSH BLONDE CURLSU JELLY?I'M SHELLEYGOT MY SEMEN IN YO BELLYGET DOWN ON YO KNEES, GIRL, MAKE IT HAPPENYOU BYSSHES DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH PERCY I BE TAPPIN'

>>2003723Iron(-)ing on the surface and satirizing [if delved deeper] the pseudo-intellectual that is JK., whose only escape is just JK-in', ergo, refuting Buddhism as well, in such a flowery way.>By declaring you are an incarnation; believing that karma tripe above the sociological and psychological precepts; that the two soft/sci/(-)ologies doth do exist and nothing (-)meta is worthy. >Except a few (-)olgies that I didn't put up!

AND DID THOSE FEETIN ANCIENT TIMESSTART MOVIN TO MY BEAT?AND START FEELIN MY RHYMES?NOW ALL YOU VIRGINS LIKE THELRAISE YO HANDS START TO YELLFOR THE D.J. AT THE WEDDING OF HEAVEN AND HELL:I'M VISIONARY,MARRY A CONTRARY,I'M TALKIN TO THE ANGELS AND IT'S GETTIN SCARY

AND NOW THE DREAD URTHONA BREAKS HIS CHAINS & STARTS TO RAP:BEHOLD HE BELLOWS: BLAKE IS EPIC & ALL YO RHYMES IS CRAP!

SUP BITCHES, VIRGIL IN THE HOODI LAY DOWN BEATS LIKE NO OTHER ROMAN COULDMY BRO HOMER FORMED THE INSPIRATIONFOR MY EPIC HISTORY OF THE LATIN NATIONYOU MAY JUST SAY MY EARLY WORK IS SHITBUT BITCHES DON'T KNOW BEEKEEPING'S LEGITWHEN YOUR MOM CAME BY LAST NIGHT I TREATED HER LIKE CARTHAGE'S QUEENFUCKED HER GOOD AND THEN DITCHED THAT SCENEJUNO MIGHT HATE ME, BUT IT'S ALL GOODSHE SHOULD LEARN HER PLACE LIKE EVERY WOMAN SHOULDFASTER THAN MY RHYMES FLYING IN DACTYLIC HEXAMETERI'D TEACH THAT BITCH THE MEANING OF WIFE BEATERBUT FOR NOW, MY BROS, I'VE GOT TO PEACE OUTI'VE GOT A MEETING WITH OCTAVIAN, THE STUPID LOUT

>>2003890BITCH PLEASE, YOU AIN'T GOT SHITMY NAME IS OVID AND I WON'T PERMITA BITCH LIKE YOU WITH THREE WORKS TO YOUR NAMETO TRY AND PUT A REAL ROMAN TO SHAMEI GOT SO MANY BITCHES THAT I DECIDED TOWRITE A BOOK SO VIRGINS LIKE YOUCOULD LEARN HOW TO USE THAT PENIS OF YOURSALTHOUGH ONE THAT SMALL'S NOT GOING TO OPEN ANY DOORSMY SKILLS AT FUCKING REIGN SUPREMESUCKING MY COCK IS EVERY WOMAN'S DREAMBY THE WAY, I ALSO WROTE THE METAMORPHOSESNOT SOME STUPID MANUAL ON HOW TO RAISE BEESWHEN THEY LOOK AT LATIN LIT THE BITCHES ALL KNOW THATPUBLIUS OVIDIUS NASO IS WHERE IT'S AT

VERGIL YOU FAGGOT, GO BLOW A SPARKLY VAMPIRE:THE BEST MUTHAFUCKIN PIMPIN IN THE MUTHAFUCKIN ROMAN EMPIREIS MINE--FOR ALL TIME---ALL THE LADIES GONNA SAY SOTHEY LOVE IT FROM OVID----I'M OVIDIUS NASO

FIND MARO KINDA NARROW? ALL THAT ARMS AND THE MAN SHIT,AND THAT "FORMOSUM PASTOR CORYDON" IS PARTY VAN SHIT,HIS GEORGICS LEAVE YOU SLEEPINUNLESS YOU LIKE BEE-KEEPINA GIRL LIKE YOU NEEDS SOMETHIN DEEP AN' SOMETHIN DEEP INSIDESO TRADE MANTUA FOR SULMO, LEMME GIVE YOU A RIDE:

COME READ MY HEXAMETERS HORACE FINDS INVIDIOUSPUBLIUS ENEMY NUMBER ONE? NOT VIRGILIUS BUT OVIDIUSCAUSE VERGIL GAVE YOU ROMA BUT OVID GIVES YOU AMORIN FIVE BOOKS, THREE BOOKS, EPIC LENGTH AND META-MORE,FROM THE NASTYTO THE "FASTI"LOVE ADVENTURE AND TERRORTHEN BANISHED OFF TO TOMIS FOR A CARMEN ET ERRORNO OTHER POET CAN FREAKS YOUWITH SUCH WILD EUPHORIASO IF IT'S FREAKIN YOU SEEK YOUCAN CHECK OUT MY ARS AMATORIA. YOU GONNA LIKE THIS A LOTNASO MAGISTER ERATGONNA LEAVE YOU PANTING WANTING MO AND FEELIN SO HOT---

AND LEAVE THE MUTHAFUCKIN VERGIL GATHERIN' DUST AND FORGOT.

CAUSE VERGIL JUST SOME FAGGOT FRIEND OF DANTE'SBUT OVID GETS INTO EVERY BITCH'S PANTIES

LIKE A GHOST IN THE BASEMENT, YOU'VE CONJURED SOMETHING FIERCE.BACK FROM THE GRAVE, BITCHES! IT'S AMBROSE BIERCE!SOME SAY MY COMMENTARIES WERE FAR TOO SCATHING.I SHOT 'EM TWICE AND USED MY THIRD EYE TO SPY THEIR HONEY BATHING!I GOT A MACABRE SENSE NE'ER SEEN BEFORE;ENLISTED TO KILL CONFEDERATES 'CAUSE I WAS BORED.THOSE TRANSCENDENTALISTS WERE A BUNCH OF SISSIES,PRETENTIOUS FAGS POLISHED MORE KNOBS THAN THAT PUNK ULYSSES!OF SHORT PROSE FORM I HAVE A MASTERY.IT'S NO SUSPENSE ALL THE HOES FIND ME SATISFACTORY.THOUGH MY DISAPPEARANCE REMAINS UNDER SUSPICION,TO SAY I'M ETERNALLY BASED IS A DEFINITION.

REMEMBER WHERE YOU WERE FOR THIS CENTURY'S HEISTWHEN I STEAL THE SHOW; IT'S JESUS H. CHRIST!THE STAR OF SO MANY BOOKS, THEY NEEDED FOUR AUTHORS,NOT TO MENTION THOUSANDS MORE TO INTERPRET THE WORDS I PROFFERED.THE RESURRECTION OF LAZARUS, CURING THE TEMPLE BLIND,MAKIN' THE MAIDENS WET WHEN I TURNED WATER TO WINE.WHILE YOU THOUGHT I LEFT EVERYONE BEHIND, YOU WERE GETTIN' TROLLED.I'VE GOT THE KEYS TO PROVIDENCE; LEAVE CEASAR HIS GOLD.

Call me, William Gibson, the thread enhancer.Blew up the spot with my sci-fi opus, Neuromancer.Spent my youth sampling psychotropic drugs,Flirting with gone girls and munching ungroomed rugs.Vanguard of the cyberspacists.I wrote the book Spook Country, but I'm not a racist.And if for some reason you're not sold yet,You're welcome for predicting the internet.

YO ALAN THINKS HE'S MAGIC, BUT HE AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT A CHIEFTAKING ANCIENT CHARACTERS AND LEAVIN LIKE A THIEFYO MOORE WE GOT A NAME FOR PEOPLE WHO LIKE TO WATCHMEN ALL DAYWE CALL EM FUCKING BATTY MAN OR IF WE LIKE DEM THEY IS GAY.

I'M GRANT MORRISSON YOU FAGGOT, INVISIBLES AND THATYOUR BEARD MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE YOUR FACE JUST FUCKED A CATYOU AIN'T GOT NO MAJOR TALENT, YOUR SHIT DON'T MAKE NO DOLLARYOU JUST WRITE COMPLICATED STUFF, TOO DIFFICULT TO FOLLA.

YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME OUT I'M REPPIN THIS SHITBEEN TO AFRICA, SMOKED OUT, WHERE I WRIT TEN ALL THE STORIES YOU ALREADY KNOW

I JUMP FROM THE RIVER CROCODILE STYLE TO PULL AT YOUR NOSEAND STRETCH IT OUTI GOT SO MUCH CLOUTI GOT ALL THE BITCHES BENDIN OVER YELLIN DON'T PULL OUTMORE, DEEPER, BUT YOU KNOW HOW IT GOESRUDYARD KIPLING PULLIN ALL THE HOES.YOU KNOW COZ I SAY ITS JUST SO.PEACE.

I'm predicting an influx of ill;Last name Watterson, first name Bill.Best known for my iconic doodles,A boy, his tiger, space man, dinosaurs, an incident with noodles.My poignant words hold astounding prevalenceUnlike Schulz' doofus aspie, beagle, and lesbians.And Jim Davis sold out to that husband and wife schtick?Calvin kept Susie beggin' for his mild-mannered dick.Demanded a full page for my Sunday strip's place.That Family Circus shit would be better spent on ad space.Retired to a life of seclusion.Let the reader contemplate the meaning of the strip's conclusion.

Strict articulation make my words worth billions,William with a double-u in the fuckin' buildin'.Ballad lyricist with the godlike flow,Rethinking the 18th century, half you don't even know.I wrote epic poetry like Artegal and Elidure.My references to myths and ancient civilizations remain obscure.My form stayed complex and tough to comprehend.I never sold out to the free-verse trend.I was there as the world turned,Marched on Versailles and watched the Bastille burn.I made Tintern Abbey a household name.No joke, born in Cockermouth, Cumberland.

It's the nobel laureate, Robert Frost,Representing nature poems like a boss.The best modern sonneteer,With balls big enough to rhyme "gay" and "queer."Had a farm but that didn't work out.Inaugurated JFK before he got voted out.Some criticize my works as mushy;I read at Harvard and taste 19 year-old pussy.

THEN ALLOW ME TO FLY STRAIGHT OFF THE CUSP,I'M SPITTIN' HOTTER FIRE THAN WHEN MOUNT PELEE ERUPTS!TALK LIKE YOU'RE SOMEBODY, FRAUD, YOU'RE JIG IS UP.LIKE YOU, IT ONLY TOOK ME TWO MINUTES ON WIKIPEDIA TO LOOK "PYROCLASTIC" UP.

WHO'S HOT, WHO'S NOT? CONSPICUOUS CONSUMPTION IS ALL I GOT, BYRON AND HIS BITCHES ALL TRIED TO MOCK ME,CALLED ME A WANKER AND THEY CALLED ME COCKNEYBUT YOU TELL ME WHO'S NOW THE HOLLYWOOD BRIGHT STARNOT SOME APOTHECARY TRYNA FIND THE RIGHT JAR,GOT MY BIG FAMOUS NAME RINGIN OUT ON THE STREETSBUT YOU KNOW IT'S STILL ME, STILL KEATS TO THE FEETS,AIN'T GONNA CHANGE FROM MY LYRICS AND MY BEATS,FROM THE C- TO THE O- TO THE C- K- N- E- Y-THE QUARTER-LY WOULD RATHER DIE THAN LET MY NIGHTINGALE FLY,SINGIN MRS BRAWNE YOU GOT A LOVELY DAUGHTERBUT I'M NEGATIVELY CAPABO OF DOIN' WHAT I OUGHTTANEVER GONNA STOP TILL MY NAME'S WRIT IN WATERPUT THIS LIVING HAND ON YO LOVELY BOOTYNEVER MIND THE CRITICS WHO ARE SNIDE AND SNOOTYJEFFREY'S EDINBURGH GANGSTAS WHO DROVE BY TO SHOOT ME?I AIN'T NEVER SAID NUTHIN CEPT TRUTH WAS BEAUTY

BUT I'LL NEVER LEARNWHY THIS JUST REPEATSIT'S LIKE THE MO MONEY MY GRECIAN URNTHE MO PROBLEMS FO KEATS

The filename was a reference to the fucking image: using the death mask of Keats as an alternate cover for Biggie's first album. Blow me. I'd like to see you do better, either with Keats or Biggie or both. Come on, bitch. I'll give you a headstart: do "La Belle Dame Sans Merci" in the style of "Big Booty Hoes".

MAKIN' EVIL! AND MAKIN' U JELLY U LOVE ME AND U FEAR ME CAUSE I'M MACHIAVELLIAND I'M HERE TO LAY SOME LYRICS WITH A RENAISSANCE AURAEMPHATIC AND DRAMATIC LIKE MY MANDARAGORA,CAUSE IN FIRENZETHE MEN SAYMY DISCORSI GET DA PUSSYI DRIVE THE BITCHES TO A FRENZAYALTHOUGH MY STATECRAFT ADVICE IS NEVER WHAT YOU'D CALL NICEIT'S SO CYNICAL SEDUCTIVE LIKE THE DEVIL IN THE FLESHAND WHEN BITCHES READ MY BOOK THEY SAY, YO PRINCE BE FRESH!

ALL YOU HIPSTER FAGGOTS FROM NYCPUT YOUR MOTHERFUCKIN HANDS UPAND FOLLOW MEI'M THE BOY GENIUS BOUT TO MAKE YOU A MANWHO'S IN THE HOUSE? MOTHERFUCKIN J-FRANZ

I GOT SO MANY CRITICSUP ON MY DICKTHAT THE HONEYS COMPLAIN"FRANZEN, WHAT GIVES?"CALM DOWN HOESTHERE'S ENOUGH TO GO AROUNDIN THE MEANTIME, FAP TO MY PROSELIKE EVERYONE ELSE IN TOWN

AND AFTER I'VE SHOT MY WADIT'S BACK TO WORK FOR J-FRANZYEXCAVATIN' THE CRACKS IN THE FACADE OF THE AMERICAN NUCLEAR FAMILYDON'T SLAM MEFOR MY SUCCESS -- I KNOW YOU GOT ENVYFOR ALL THE ACCOLADES THAT ALL THE BITCHES BE SENDIN' MEAND EVEN THOUGH I'M ON TOPI CONTINUE ASCENDINGI GOT MICHIKO BEGGIN'J-FRANZ, RET ME GIVE U HAPPY ENDING!