Posts Tagged ‘Violent Little Machine Shop’

Somewhere in the mountains of Ketchum, Idaho, Violent Little Machine Shop is kind of pleased to announce their new business line: Violent Little Greeting Cards, which will be geared towards the military, tactical, and general scallywag communities. Finally, there are cards for the relationships you always wanted but could just never muster up the courage to develop on your own. We’ll help you get there…

The initial line consists of 13 painstakingly-designed cards to suit a variety of scenarios. All are printed in the United States of America on tastefully thick 14 pt. premium paper that just wants to caress the ink into a masterpiece of bullshit. Newly dubbed CEO, Oscar Sanchez, was excited about the new line: “I’m really not too sure about this new card thing. Honestly, it’s been kind of tough to get on board with the “vision”, but I’ve also got a boss… so it’s not like I’ve got a choice in the matter. I’ll push what he tells me to push.” He added, “I guess my head’s on the chopping block… I feel like I’m kind of in a “no win” situation, but oh well. I’ll start polishing up my resume. Anybody know if Black Rifle Coffee is hiring? I hear Stratton Oakmont has some good benefits.”

Violent Little Greeting Cards are the perfect way to tell your best friend to “fuck off”, make Mom feel kind of special on her special day, or just as a general “hello” to that fake friend you haven’t talked to since High School graduation that wrote “Seniors are the Best” in your yearbook and then you bumped into him at the Chik-fil-A he was assistant-managing and you felt guilty because you’re now a big time boss-hawg.

Violent Little Machine Shop took Thin Blue Line morale patches to the next level, and created a Thin Blue Line patch for every one of the 50 states that make up the USA. Vermont? Check. Delaware? Absolutely. Hawaii? You bettcha! All US states, Alabama through Wyoming, are fully represented in this patch set in glorious PVC, Velcro-backed, either 3″ tall or 3″ wide. The initial order consisted of 7800 individual patches, so there’s plenty to go around.

To drive the point home, here’s SSD’s TFB’s current state of headquarters: Virginia. You can get your state of residence direct from VLMS, or if you’re feeling particularly supportive you can buy a set consisting of all 50 patches. $50 of each set sold will be donated to The Fraternal Order of Police – Treasure Valley to help support the recovery of two local officers, one in critical condition, and a K9 that were shot in VLMS’ home state of Idaho on November 11th.

If you’re not in the know, Thirty Seconds Out has been releasing a downloadable ‘demotivation poster’ every week for the past few weeks or so. This week’s poster is a collaboration with Violent Little Machine Shop.

Violent Little Machine Shop has made available the Relinquish U R Fate charity patch. Made in support of ART 15’s Relinquish U R Fate Vet Fund Drive, each patch is selling for $10 a piece, with only 100 patches available. 100% of the purchase price are going to benefit the Relinquish U R Fate funding campaign. VLMS already sold about a 1/4 of their stock, so if you’re looking at getting a patch, you’re better off ordering ASAP.

The Relinqish U R Fate Vent Fund Drive is a charity funding campaign started up by the ART 15 crew post-SHOT Show. They are currently trying to raise $15,000 for three charities: Gallant Few, Raider Project, and All In All The Time Foundation. The ‘Relinquish U R Fate’ portion of the fund comes into play should the funding goal be met by March 1st, 2015:

1. Mat Best will shave his beard into a “Dale Comstock” mustache.
2. JT will be tazed by an X-26 Tazer.
3. Rocco will receive a Ranger Up tattoo.

Just in time for the new Dumb & Dumber flick that released today, Violent Little Machine Shop is offering their brand-new ‘Put Out The Vibe’ patch as well as a sticker. Immortalizing the classic Icelandic Snow Owl Benefit scene (y’know, the one with the tuxedos?), the design is printed on a PVC patch and a weather tough sticker. The patch comes with an art card, and both the patch and sticker can be purchased separately or as a package deal.

The WHTFSU or ‘We’re Here To F*** S*** Up’ patch features Dale and Brennan, everybody’s favorite tuxedo-wearing step brothers duo. Like the Durden Bear Fight Club patch, WHTFSU is also 3D PVC full-color with hook backing, and comes with an art card.