The much-hyped wedding between celebrity reality tv star Kim Kardashian and her NBA basketball player husband Kris Humphries cost a reported $8 million. What has been less publicized is that the couple reportedly made $18 million on the event and paid virtually zero of that eight million.

Darren Rovell of CNBC reports that Kardashian and Humphries were payed a combined $17.9 million for the “media rights” to the wedding. This includes $15 million from E! TV wich is airing a two-part rebroadcast of the wedding called “Kim’s Fairytale Wedding: A Kardashian Event,” an additional $2.5 million from People Magazine for the wedding pictures, and $300,00 for an article from People announcing the couple’s engagement. Good news because Humphries is currently unemployed with the NBA lockout. Kardashian was also payed by Tao nightclub in Las Vegas to have her bacherlorette party there and by Ok! magazine for bridal shower pictures.

One gossip site adds that the couple also got tons of “free crap” from various corporate sponsors. According to the New York Post, the free crap included Kardashian’s wedding dress, the wedding cake, and free rental of the estate where the couple got married. Also free was the wedding’s champagne, floral arrangements and catering which included caviar and Kobe beef. The couple was also comped the decorations and the wedding invitations. Somebody else also paid for the musical acts which included Stevie Wonder and Earth, Wind, and Fire.

Darren Rovell hilariously points out that Humphries made $17.9 million off the wedding compared to $16.9 million off his entire seven-year basketball career. Wedding guests included Ryan Seacrest, Kathie Lee Gifford, Lindsay Lohan, Carmelo Anthony and Eva Longoria.

Fernando Flores, a former bodyguard for Britney Spears, has filed a sexual harassment lawsuit against the pop star. According to the lawsuit, Spears constantly picked her nose, would not shower for days at a time and often used drugs (including meth.)

Flores claims Spears made his life a “living hell” by constantly trying to have sex with him. Besides her meth use, the former police officer also alludes to Spears’ former heroin use.

She’s already received death threats from hordes of pre-teen girls simply for being pop sensation Justin Bieber’s girlfriend. (Get over it ladies, like YOU had a chance.) Now, 18-year-old Disney Channel actress Selena Gomez has been photographed taking the “walk of shame” from a house in Canada where Bieber was staying. Gomez was caught wearing the same clothes this morning as the previous evening after spending the entire night with Bieber.

In one of the most imbecilic interviews in the history of the english language, with a fawning Piers Morgan of CNN, heiress Paris Hilton claims the release of her infamous sex tape stopped her from being the next Princess Diana. I think I’m going to throw up.

Hilton also denied to Morgan that she’s a “slut” and claimed sex tape partner Rick Solomon”betrayed”her by releasing the tape. This despite the fact that Hilton herself reportedly made a million dollars off the tape and it was released just in time to promote the debut of her first reality television show. Honestly, who are you going to believe? Paris Hilton or Page Six of the New York Post?

The shameless Hilton then throws her own crying mother under the bus on live television by talking about her sex tape. What else would you expect from a woman one celebrity website called a “lying wore” and a “skankwad.” Hilton once lied to Larry King, Morgan’s predecessor at CNN, by telling him she NEVER did drugs in her life. Hilton has been photograped and videotaped smoking weed and also smuggled drugs onto flights to Las Vegas by sticking contraband up her vagina. Of course, she was also busted with coke in Vegas.

Hilton also once lied to a judge to get out of jail. She promised to do charity work in Rwanda. Instead, she performed her “community service” by autographing bikini photos for orphans in South Africa while her boyfriend was on tour there.

Though she continuously claims to be a “businesswoman,” Paris Hilton’s only real financial talent was outliving her alcoholic great-grandfather. Not that tough since he was born in 1887.

Talentless whore Paris Hilton turned 30 years old Thursday. Hilton went on Letterman and talked about getting married and having a family. She then had her $3,200 absinthe-spiked birthday cake stolen at a Hollywood party.