Q: My boyfriend wants children soon, but I want to wait until I’m out of school, have a job and am settled. What should I do?

-Shannon W.

A: Hi Shannon,

You ask a great question about a common issue. Having children is a huge personal and financial responsibility, so it’s very important that both of you agree on the timing of this life-altering decision. I noticed that you referred to your partner as your boyfriend and not your husband. In that way, I believe that you’re putting the cart before the horse here because, in my opinion, marriage should come first. After that, I agree with you regarding finishing school, landing a job and getting settled before you have kids.

With that said, however, I think I would totally reframe this situation, Shannon. What you presently see as a dilemma between you and your boyfriend can actually be a fork in the road in your personal life. You have the opportunity to stand up for what you believe, find your voice and express what’s in your heart. You have the opportunity to leave the carefree innocence of youth behind and become the responsible adult woman you were born to be, the kind of strong responsible woman that any man would be proud to call his wife.