Michelle Teheux: Crawling out of the Stone Age

Thursday

Mar 13, 2014 at 11:33 AMMar 13, 2014 at 11:33 AM

By Michelle TeheuxMore Content Now

I recently lost a competition with my co-worker to be the last person outside North Korea not to own a flat-screen TV.This gives you an idea of the cluelessness I had when talking to some people from the cable company about the new products they’re rolling out.I briefly had cable TV in the mid-’90s and have been utterly (and blissfully) ignorant of the changes that have taken place since then.As I understand it, other people now have the ability to watch whatever show they want at whatever time they want, and can choose among such fascinating topics as fancy cupcakes, rented storage spaces and pawn shops. Somehow, I have made do with instead socializing with friends, reading books and doing things outside the house.But now, I learn, having a cable package can be about more than TV. You can actually buy a package that will turn your place into a “smart house” so that you can lock and unlock your doors without even being home, perhaps to give a repair or delivery person access. You can turn lights on or off, adjust your thermostat or look at video that reveals who has walked in or out of your door.This is the kind of technology that looks cool to me, even though I live so close to work that if I need to let a repair person in, I can just pop home quickly and do it old-style. I can see it being helpful for people who commute an hour to work.I can remember, eons ago, reading a news story about this new website called Google. It sounded pretty darned interesting, but I didn’t have any idea how soon I’d be living on that site. I also recall a feature story about the newest thing college kids were doing. It seemed they were all joining a site called Facebook. It just sounded like something that would never affect my life.It’s hard to predict what technology is going to take off and change lives and what’s never going to take off among anyone but technology nerds.Will this be another sea change? Will this be one of the technologies that, within a few years, everyone except your Aunt Martha, and me, have adopted as a matter of course? Will you see people whipping out their phones or tablets and saying things like, “Hold on just a sec, I want to see who just walked into my house — oh, it’s that weird kid from down the street. I’m going to call my son and remind him I don’t want that kid there when I’m not home”?Because, speaking for the kids, that would be a bummer. If my parents had had any idea how often my sister and I let all the neighborhood kids into the house when they were not home, which was strictly against the rules, we would still be grounded to this day.There was a time when I said I’d never have a cellphone, and then I said I’d never have a smartphone. I was never going to have a TV, then I was never going to have a color TV, and then I was never going to have a flat-screen TV. I thought Facebook was a waste of time, until I began wasting a lot of time on it.I used to say I could happily join the Amish, as long as they let me keep my electric water heater. Now I would need to find a very liberal Amish group that would let me keep my water heater — and my WiFi and smartphone and my Facebook account. But other than that, yeah, simple lifestyle all the way, OK?While writing this column, I learned my co-worker recently bought her own flat-screen TV, perhaps a week after my husband purchased ours. Dang! I was so close!However, the competition is now a bit stiffer. I’m willing to bet my vinyl record collection that she turns her place into a “smart house” before I do.Michelle Teheux may be reached at mteheux@pekintimes.com.

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