If you've ever thought to yourself, "I wish someone would follow Michael Irvin around with a camera all day so I could see everything that happens to him," today is your lucky day.

Thanks to Spike TV and a lack of common sense, The Playmaker is getting his own reality show. Think "The Apprentice" meets "The Contender" meets "The Biggest Loser." Twelve very annoying (that's given, right?) "football neophytes" will be led through a series of (hopefully) embarrassing drills and challenges and will be judged by Irvin and a rotating cast of Dallas guest stars. The one left standing at the end gets a spot on the Cowboys training camp roster, a incredibly valuable and rewarding position from which they will almost certainly be cut at the first opportunity.

The producers will choose six wide receivers and six defensive backs, thereby ensuring that the cast will be filled with dangerously unstable egomaniacs who are desperate for attention and easily wounded by criticism. (Just like any good reality show.) The title and exact format are still undecided, but challenges may include interacting with law enforcement, binge drinking, and talking your way out of armed robberies.