Wednesday, December 22, 2010

I jumped through the racket-filled hoops of the RI DMV this week. One such money-hoop was a VIN check. You had to go to a dude at a special police station that is open every other 3rd full moon for like 3 hours in the middle of the day. Next, pay him 10-30 bucks cash, and he'd check you car VIN vs your title. At this point you could now go find a person to notarize the friggin' application for a new registration. Yay!

Anywho, the place had a special row of parking garage spots. The signs don't indicate anything about being towed or fined if you park there too long, just that you will be tagged. And given the many vibrant non-tax dollar funded murals that surrounded the place, I'd not park there for more than 15 minutes...

Monday, December 13, 2010

I've been told to go check out this place up the road by Jess2 and her knowledgeable beerman. It's like a whole 3 miles away - which is light years in this town. So I've been going instead to the one that's 2 miles away. But I was driving back from some coupon fueled errand (how does Michael's stay in business?) and saw the neon lights beckoning, so I swerved in for a looksee.

Hoooooooooooray. Place is loaded. Isles of crazy stuff. Coolers of good stuff. Mountains of crap stuff. The rest of the place is an alcoholics delight as well. Plus there's a can and bottle collection thingie attached. So in the parking lot I get to dodge station-wagons full of bottles and cans that are driven by hobos (all the windows are broken).

Sunday, December 12, 2010

After a bunch of effort and lots of cursing, the hellish area that is my day-prison has finally been painted. I've been locked in this room, day-in/day-out staring at the institution green walls with a crap pile behind me that awaits a painted room. The mental downer this has been can finally be blocked. It's painted, I have purpose in here now.Have you gotten the idea that this room is painted and I'm stoked? New desk mat for my chair! Corner shelves for nerd shit! I even cut a hole in the outer desk wall for the radiator to poke through and warm my feet! Wheeeeee!

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Not too much of the zombie outbreak was explained, as most of the facts were fuzzy and the dude didn't know what he was doing. The rest of the world is still a large enough mystery since the power/communication gird went down and no one seems to know what the deal is anywhere. The CDC exploded and is gone. No goofy new plot lines were developed. The cast has been whittled down to the canon group, with the welcome bonus of Darryl. The whisper thing was lame, but is easy enough to puzzle out if you think about it. Merle is still running around and will most certainly be back as an evil d-bag. Essentially, they built themselves a big fat reset button so that come second season they can plot a decent story arc or two. Smart move? However, the ending didn't really leave any openings or tantalizing bits to get you stoked for more, besides basic survival. Ya know? It could theoretically just end here with a well placed "and there were nooooo survivors".

Switching to something that should've ended a long while back, but like a stubborn zombie keeps lurching forward - I leave you with this balsphemous nightmare that aired tonight.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Oooooooooook. Here I go. It's been a hit or miss batch of episodes with this series. A series I want to succeed reeeeeeeal bad. And it has, given the numbers and second season green light. But it is not living up to its potential. I know it was taking a chance and a short season and nothing was guaranteed during shooting and the budget was limited - but that's all the more reason you shouldn't fuck around with an equation that's been slingin' the bestest zombie fiction in comicdom.

I've, for the most part, been fine with the minor deviations acquired during the comic to TV transition. New throw away characters are fine, so long as you toss them. And they have! A few new conflicts, like the "vatos" in the hospital thing, was no big deal and resolved itself. However. HOWEVER. Breaking canon by actually making it to the CDC and then developing a reason for the zombie plague itself is not cool. It's stupid and rushed.

This is the one thing the comics never ever reveal over 80 issues, leaving lots of questions and venues to explore. So, there's no damn need to reveal it here either. It adds nothing and only, honestly, detracts from the stories that did so well in the first place to land a TV show. This changes everything. So many plotlines from the source material can't be used anymore with this shit floating around out there. I'm cool with new adventures and what have you, but this isn't a side trip. It's the answer. The potential for fail is so great at this point. It's almost like they're chickening out on what needs to be done ie the killing what needs doing. Shedding light on the virus subject is a very bad move. Fuck, they even named it!

Isn't it better to have the charcaters guessing about how it spreads? Bites only? Scrapes? Can you get zombie juice in your mouth and become one? Or if the USA is alone in this? If it's just Georgia or the South? All that gets flushed tomorrow when the brother from The Truman Show ruins the surprise (how ironical!).

And Merle. The wacky, now one handed, racist dude is still out there. A loose string is cool, but this loose string is bad for a pair of reasons. One: the hand cutting. Given events that will transpire down the line (hopefully), this injury will become Seinfeldian and the retribution will actually be deserved. Two: If Merle follows the trajectory he appears ot be on, then one of the best villians in the comics has just been explained away and now isn't so scary. So Kirkman, take care of Merle now.

Basically, why mess with it at all really? Lighting in a bottle twice? Hard to do. Essentially, a small ass percentage of folks watchin the show have read the comics, so it's not like you're spoiling anything for them, in fact that's all we want is the stuff we love, but on TV. Is that so much to ask for? I guess so. Oh well.

All in all, it's a fine show. The gore levels are exceptional and I'm liking Dale a bunch, he's spot on. It is after all a friggin' TV show about zombies and swinging axes at zombie's heads so I should just calm down. But I can't! Maybe they'll fix it up tomorrow. Perhaps the dude in the CDC is full of shit and this is a red herring. I have faith in this Kirman guy, he's led the story down some questionable paths in the comics, but always pulled it off and managed to shock me along the way. So, here's to hopin'...

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

"A recent study found that at peak times, Netflix represented 20 percent of Internet download traffic in the United States."

To look at this information inline with other trend setting studies, the internet is basically 3 things to Americans. Cats, porn, and reruns of the A-Team. And the way things are going with our useless government elected officials - we are going to have to enjoy it in the form of regulated cats, porn, and reruns of the Incredible Hulk. "Netflix is gettin' too big fer hem thar britches, I reckon.", an inbred Comcast wonders aloud, as it pulls at it's suspenders and chews on a long stem of grass whilst wearing a top hat, "Best slow that down to dial up speeds."

What does this mean? Perhaps we should look to England for advice on how to best spend the twilight years of an aging empire. If so, then we can at least look forward to some superior comedic programming - if our ISPs deem it a good thing.

As a certain giant nerd tournament approaches, I've been tossed back into the potential throes of my accursed addiction - painting stupid lil' mans and growing my back hump further. I'm currently in mental preparation for building an army from scratch and painting it in, more than likely, a last minute marathon. So, to ease back into things with the most minimal of effort, I shipped some totally unrelated 20mm models off to friend for painting! Woooo cash rules!

Then I got off my butt, due to guilt, and painted 26 of my 20mm Germans that have been in a near state of completeness for years now. These will complement the ones I sent out nicely. The fun thing about this batch is that they were guinea pigs of sorts. I picked up a can of this insta-shade stuff for near to nothing the other day. People claim to have painted entire armies in a weekend - with decent results - using the stuff. All you have to do is lay down a decent, neatly executed basecoat. Then just dip 'em and wait. I've been quite dubious of the technique for years, but gave it a swing on my tiny Germans. You can see them crummily photgraphed "pre-dip" above and "post-dip" below.

Much to my surprise it worked out great. Saved me hours of pain. I will be using it for just about all my smaller scale (below 20mm) needs in some form. It really did do a super job of shading. Though going forward, brighter colors will be needed for basecoats, since the shading does knock the colors down a bit.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

There's no hiding my love for MST3K and it saddens my nerd heart to be so behind on this one. Something called Wizard People, Dear Readers from our internet friend/comedian Brad Neely. (The George Washington Rap) Basically it sounds like a mean drunken uncle slaying the Harry Potter film, MST3K style, after a full bottle of 4 dollar gin. (the plastic unbreakable hobo bottle) The voice over track is all growly and bitter. Below is a link to the YouTube clip (one of many), since it won't embed. The bit is about the "cribbage" match and the dude misnames stuff left and right, adding to the gold factor. If you gots 10 minutes to have look while eating a sandwich, it'll be worth your time.

Monday, November 15, 2010

The dude named Horse brightened my Sunday morning with a link to this fantastic youtubery mash up of folks in church going ape to Slayer. Motha-suckas got moves yo! Then I started to look at related videos. So here's a sampling of the better TV shows redubbed to Slayer. And of course one which goes up a notch into what the kids call "brutal".

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

And it appears that I can add pyrex cookware/making tea to the list of things I shouldn't touch/do. (lamps, lawn mowers, etc.) Luckily it melted already callused tissue, so it ended up only baking dead skin a bit further.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Whilst on a magical Peter Pan bus to NYC, I spotted a bunch of brightly colored storage places and took a crummy photo. Storage places that had an odd logo choice. I doubled checked the website to be sure. Yes. I'm 12.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

This pretty much sums up Halloween 5+6. Loomis in this one is double super crazed. He spends most of the film acting like a monster and yelling into the face of a 10 year old recovering from being hunted down by a pychopath. The same terrorized little girl is later used as bait, a shield, and then an offering to Myers by our brave action psychiatrist.

The film starts to leap into the fringes of drunken plot points from part 3. Let's simply not hover on the fact that early in the film, Myers is picked up by a river hobo and left to sleep in his river shack for a full year until the next October 31st comes around. What were they doing for a full year? Plus there's some dude dressed in black that mysteriously shows up throughout the film for no reason at all. Except to mystically blow up a jail and set Myers free at the end so that he can careen into the wackyland that is part 6. Although 6 is easily as ludicrious as the infamous part 3, it's strangely satisfying to watch for it's off the rails plot, funtastic kills, abusive fathers, wooden child actors, the mom from better off dead, and a young Paul Rudd.

My advice, checkout parts 1+2, then head straight to Halloween H20. Skip all the other stuff inbetween.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

I finally found a local place that delivers the tasty-times sandwiches to my gut. It's called Sandwich Hut. They are cheap. They recently extended their hours. They don't mess around with Prosciutto. Excellent meatball there too. After a lunch at Sandwich Hut, I've been surprised to find myself repeating my father's famous pre-dinner quote from childhood. The line is uttered just before any preparation decisions for the evening meal are made: "I dunno, I had a big lunch." Yummers.

Monday, October 18, 2010

So dope. Slayer's The Vinyl Conflict arrived. 11 slabs-o-satanic-wax. Remastered. I coulda done without the Undisputed Attitude album though. Best vinyl set out in a whiles. I been holding on collecting any Slayer due to pricing, but this one knocks 'em all out in one go. Nice. King Diamond needs to do another boxed set, but of this level of quality, and I'd be complete. Come on KD, take some back pills and get on that!

Monday, October 11, 2010

I'm slowly working my way through all the Halloween films right now. I know the 1st one very well, as it is a milestone for horror, but the rest are mostly a blur in my head. I've seen them all at some point in life, but they just never really stuck. Outside of the ludicrousness of the genre-bending tour de force that was Halloween III: Season of the Witch, of course. You can scrub all you want, but the custard filled evil robots remain. The one thign that did stick with me, after it was pointed out, was the fact that Michael Myers is the one slasher villian that drives a car. Which is awesome.

Anywho, the original and part 2 are great because they sorta smash together to make on 3 hour long slash-o-fest. Thanks to the way the second film picks up seconds after where the original left off. But even there signs of the goofery to come were present.

Mainly when Michael's crazy doctor, Sam Loomis played by Donald Pleasence, starts waving a gun at every kid that's wearing anything like the Myers mask. This culminates in an amazing scene where some poor dumbass kid in a mask has Loomis threaten to shoot his ass, only to wander into the street where he is promptly hit by a car. A car which then hits a parked truck and explodes, with the kid imapled on the front bumper. The scene ends with the kid smashed and on fire. But in a funny way. Hey, don't take my word for it.

More importantly the scene from part 2 solidifies the series' true star. No, not Michael Myers silly! The mighty madman - Dr. muthalovin' Loomis! Since the entire series seems to have derailed big time, might as well just go with whatever and let Donald Pleasence go bezerk. So, they pretty much devoted the entire 4th film to Loomis' nutty adventures. Which make sense because they goofed up the friggin' Michael Myers mask and set up some way crap lighting. The film's monster was so goofy in every scene, there was zero menace. I kept thinking to myself that he looked more like Data from Star Trek TNG than anything else.

Now, check out some the many gem filled stills from Halloween 4 I took featuring the good doctor.

Sam surveys the scene of an ambulance Myers wrecked during his mostly off screen escape. The cops are just too busy to even look and count how many bodies are present. They figure, "Welp, that's that." So Loomis steps up.

After surviving a completely unsurvivable explosion in the 2nd film's climax, Loomis now sports a jaunty scar, crumbly hands, and a limp. Not to bad for being in confined space blown apart by volumes of volatile gas and fire mixing. It's like a video game, except Loomis doesn't instantly die when he falls in water.

Donald did his own stunts. Action Pleasence!

Thus he earned his on screen boozin'. I've no doubt he was half in the bag during most of the filming. One anecdote from shooting was that Donald had a hat on his head to keep warm during some night shots. No one noticed it (par for the film in general) and the character of Dr. Loomis with a goofy hat was never really established. Sooooo they had to do a whole nights worth of shooting again the next evening.

More Action Pleasense! Though I think this is a stunt dude, since Pleasence would obviously want any stunt he performed to be lit. By lights and stuff. You know, a lit scene.

Now begins the incredulence of Loomis. He seriously wonders inside "Why won't anyone take my insane ass seriously?" "Look at my scar man, it changes in each scene! That's some serious shit!" "Where are your guns?"

The best Myers moment (there was only one) was the face ripping of a dude as he was driving. It was rad.

OK, now that Myers has been vanquished by guns (didn't work before, but now it does? Okdoke.) A bloody Dr. Loomis is thankful to have survived Michales latest rampage.

But no! The twist ending we all saw coming from the 10th minute in is upon us! Who would have thought Michael Myers' niece would have taken up his murderous ways! Shocker!

This shot and expression wraps it all up really. So many more films to go...

Heh. Hot nuts.

Lastly I leave you with the guy responsible for shitting everything up. Alan McElroy. He wrote the script in 11 days. Because he needed to get it done before a writer strike took effect. Great job dude!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

You know when you look at most card or boardgames, there's an icon or set of numbers explaining how many players it's designed for? Most of the time it's 2-4 or 3-5 or whatever. Because they assume you have a group or family to play said game with. Then there are those that indicate 1-4 or 1-5 - with emphasis on "1". They're known as "Solitare" rules or in the UK, the more appropriate, "Billy No Mates".

Well, the other day I sat down and participated in such a venture! Let SADDO-CON 2011 begin! When the lady walked over and asked what I was doing and I replied in truth - the look on her face might as well have been if I were sitting there shirtless watching gay porn with another shirtless dude.

In fairness, it's a Space Hulk (because Space Hulk is super rad) card game and it plays pretty well as a solitare thing. Be fun with people as well I'd imagine. It has a neat feel and is as brutal as regular ol' Space Hulk. Though rolling dice with no one around and getting stoked is pretty fucking sad. Sadder yet was that I lost.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Watched halloween II last night and had to pause the credits, twice. Dick Warlock was doing double time in this film as Myers and some cop. I laughed, then remembered laughing at that name before in some other film's credits. Like Halloween III, Friday the 13th V, and of course Herbie Goes To Monte Carlo. Oh fun. Would be a good band name though.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Some crap I dug up at a fleamarket recently. Gots to love fleamarkets.It was hosted at an old drive-in theater.One area looked like a dollar store had exploded.

Use it repeatedly. For a long time.

This sucker caught my eye real fast. What's mo' funny than lampin' on our nation's drug issues? Well, ass crack jokes to hang on the wall. Seriously, there was a special section for this. Which was right next to a bin full of high falutin' sections with philosophers' and writers' names.

Mutha-lovin' JAZZY CATS TRIO!Damn right they need to be featured on an explosive blasty background.A jazzy blast.This layout should be taught in all design schools.

ONCE OWN, NOTHING CAN INSTEAD!

Amalgamation of left over superhero parts unite!All children should only get fucked up left over mash up toys like this.It builds character.ROLL CALL!

PUDDIN' HEAD MUSCLE SPIDER WITH POISON DIRK!"Fear me criminals, for I will stick you.

BIG JAWMAN WITH NO ACTION ACCESSORY!I need no tools to cause pain, only my massive jawline.

You're 8, you've only got 30 cents (in pennies and a nickel) for the ice cream man. So when you ask for the fakie lolipop up on the shelf behind him (cost: $.20) as a distraction, what do you steal from the cooler up front?

If you were in chanrge of the NFL and were a crazyperson, which item would you force everyone to play football with?