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Saturday, April 2, 2011

God, the best maker of all marriages,
Combine your hearts into one. ~William Shakespeare

I was fifteen -- he was seventeen -- when I looked towards the piano during choir rehearsal and my eyes collided with his. My heart pounded and I couldn't breathe -- what was up with that? I still had two and a half years of high school left. He was leaving for college in the fall. I couldn't date until I was sixteen and that was nine months away. Wouldn't he get tired of this quiet introspective girl before then?

That was nearly thirty-eight years ago. If he's tired of me, he's smart enough to keep it to himself.

We were blessed with loving marital examples in our parents. My daddy, the romantic, enjoyed spending his off-work hours with my mother. RB's father, ever practical, made sure his wife was cared for, treating her with love and respect throughout their 60+ years of marriage. Someone said, "The best gift a father can give his children is to love their mother." I couldn't find the source, but whoever wrote this was a wise person.

We used the traditional marriage vows in our wedding. RB has lived the phrase, "in sickness and in health." He rejoices in the good days and cares for more than his part of the load in the bad. I've been told that marriage only works if there's a 50/50 ratio -- each partner giving 50%. I disagree. Throughtout our marriage there have been times the best I could give is 30% and RB has given 70%. Likewise in the seasons he only had 40% to give, I have been able to give 60%.

For the first twenty-six years of our marriage we lived where we worked -- on the campus of a Bible College and the campus of church ministry. I had opportunities to see him numerous times throughout the day. It was a big adjustment for me ten years ago when RB left at 7:00 in the morning and didn't return until 6:00 in the evening. I'm thankful for computers. We're able to connect via email throughout the day, even if it's a hurried, "Racing from meeting to meeting -- XO." Cell phones are on my thankful list, too. Grateful for free phone-to-phone minutes that allow taking advantage of commuting time to talk about our days.

Although Emily will be living at home and traveling with RB to the university each day, we're entering another season of our life. I'm thankful for the vibrancy of our relationship. Thankful we enjoy each other, that our discussions went beyond home and parenting to the political, spiritual, and yes, even the craziness.

In this autumn of our life we will keep our vows -- to have and to hold from this day forward -- happy ever after.

* * * * *

Wedding in a Box

My girls loved playing wedding. Melanie and her friend, Maria, often dressed Emily up as a bride. Emily would do anything they asked, even wearing the half slip veil they fashioned for her.

Remembering that, I made Morgan a "Wedding in a Box." Except for the box and tulle, I found all of my wedding items at the Dollar Store, bringing the total project to $12.00

What's in the box:

Veil, made with tulle, a rose and wired hearts.
Lilly of the valley bouquet
Long white gloves
Silk petals for the "aisle."
Wedding bubbles
Wedding bells
Bride's garter

RB wrote, "Here comes the bride" around the side box and "Morgan" name on the lid. I can't wait to "play bride" with Morgan. I'll be sure to tell her that she wants to marry someone like her own daddy -- a gentle man, a strong man, a man of God.

Hey there! I am your newest follower from the weekend blog hop (I am one of the hosts!)!! I am trying to play catch up on all the people to follow! What a wonderful blog! I am also a christian! LOVE it when people show it in their blog! Anyway just wanted to stop by and say hi. I have three blogs I hope you will follow back!

That was so sweet and you two are meant for each other. I have had my soul mate by side for 44 years and I hope many more. God has blessed me with a wonderful man and I am forever thankful and I tell him often too.

What a beautiful love story and the wedding box. How wonderful. I love hearing of those marriages that God has blessed with many years. Praising Him. I just meet a couple the other day at the salon that have been married 57 years. He so loves his wife he told me that she was his sweetheart and the best gift he ever got. Brings tears to my eyes. She is very ill and cannot even communicate. her name is Char and his Vern. I pray God would open her voice again in Jesus name. Thank you for sahring.Love coming here so inspiritionally.Blessings

What perfect timing for this post - today is my 12th wedding anniversary! Love what you said about good marriages NOT always being 50/50 -- so true.BTW - love your wedding in a box idea -- Makayla has quite the dress up collection - and loves adding to it. Just recently we added a "Halloween costume" to that we found at a thrift store -- it's white and sparkly - perfect for a wedding dress. I made her a veil and bouquet to go along with it. She likes to put on a CD with wedding tracks on it and play for hours!

Oh how I wish those entering into marriage today took those vows seriously. Somehow, it seems that marriage is a union of two who feel the magic of love and when that magic seems to fade so does the love. I bet you and your husband worked hard at your marriage. God honors that and the reward is total contentment with our spouse and a deep and abiding love that is only trumped by God's love for us.

Wow! I love this - it's so beautifully written! I agree - sometimes we cannot give 50% (I recently had surgery so couldn't even give 5% during recovery!) and I think those times help to strengthen marriage more than anything. God Bless you and your husband!

Thanks for stopping by my blog and becoming a follower, I'm a new follower back. I can tell I'm going to love your blog :) If you have time, come check out my giveaways, one is for a Christian family raising money to adopt a baby from Phoenix (where I live). I'd love if you checked out their story!

What a wonderful post and I love the "Wedding in a Box". Congratulations too...adjusting to the changes a marriage of 60+ years can bring isn't always easy! The advice given about marriage not always being 50/50 is priceless.

What a beautiful post, Pamela...I feel the same way as you. Married nearly 43 years to my hubby ~ the most blessed gift I have ever been given by God! Your story echos ours in many ways. It warmed my heart. May God continue to bless your marriage and family and ministry.

What a beautiful and blessed post! I agree that its not always 50/50 when it comes to a marriage. I'm very thankful to have a wonderful loving Godly husband. Thanks for sharing, I will be back to read more!

This is THE most excellent post! Thank you sister for saying something that touches the deepest part of my soul! I just got off of the phone with my married (all of 8 months!) daughter. Her transition to married life has been natural and lovely to witness. She and her husband love the Lord and one another dearly and share a trust in the Lord's truth about marriage and family. She is a part time nanny for a bright 3 year old boy who delights her every day she's with him. She shared so many things about how she was raised, and just what it is she understands about marriage and children that is so contradictory to even some of her saved friends. I loved your quote, "The best gift a father can give his children is to love their mother." The companion to that quote should be something like, "The best thing a mother can give her children is to show them how much she appreciates the love of her husband"!! Again, thank you for showing your gratitude for the greatest gift second only to the perfect gift of Christ and our salvation. ~ And love, love the wedding box! Blessings, Debbie

Ms. Pamela, I feel so blessed that you left a comment over at Jeremiah 29:11 and became a follower. I'm your latest follower, too, and feel I'm also going to one of your biggest admirers!!! In His Love...Deb

I love this post. Love. This. Post. It is so wonderful. And you're funny! Love the "If he's tired of me, he's smart enough to keep it to himself". And love the Shakespeare quote. Just love it all. Thanks for stopping by my blog today.

Pamela,What a beautiful story of love and commitment. A great marriage like yours takes both the romantic feelings and the commitment when we don't feel so loving.It is such a blessing to have a marriage like this and a wonderful husband. I count myself blessed as well. We'll be married 35 years this summer. I can't believe it!The wedding box and the miniature bride are adorable.