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The Reporter Media

Dan Manning of Fond du Lac isn’t afraid to display a photo on his desk in the offices of Giddings & Lewis MAG that shows him with his partner, Joseph Malson.

The 32-year-old Manning, who was elected to serve on the Fond du Lac City Council in April, does not hide the fact that he is gay.

Manning is a U.S. Army veteran, a graduate of the U.S. Military Academy at West Point and founder of the group Salute the Troops. He also serves as co-president of Equality Wisconsin, an organization dedicated to causes for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people in the state.

“I obviously didn’t run to be the first ‘out’ gay man on Fond du Lac City Council, but I can tell you that it means a lot to many people right here in Fond du Lac,” Manning said. “I have been contacted by a couple of gay men who thanked me for being a leader and helping to open doors that had previously been closed to them.”

The manufacturing engineer said a lot of people have been supportive, including co-workers and Council members. He said gay people in Fond du Lac are excited to see someone do things that once seemed impossible — like be elected to a public office.

Manning explained that he didn’t run for City Council with an agenda. He said he has always seen himself as a leader and hopes to serve his community at a higher level.

Coming out

A high-profile athlete triggered discussions about acceptance last month when he became the first openly gay male player in a major American team sport. National Basketball Association veteran Jason Collins came out in a cover story for Sports Illustrated.

“I didn’t set out to be the first openly gay athlete playing in a major American team sport,” he said in the magazine’s May 6 issue. “But since I am, I’m happy to start the conversation.”

Collins said he realized that he needed to go public when a former college roommate told him that he marched in Boston’s 2012 Gay Pride Parade. He said he was bothered that, as a closeted gay man, he couldn’t even cheer his straight friend as a spectator.

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Collins said he didn’t want to hide anymore and wanted to march for tolerance, acceptance and understanding.

Manning was 24 and preparing to graduate from West Point when he came out to his parents, whom he described as always being very supportive. At that time the military had a policy of “Don’t ask, don’t tell” regarding sexual orientation and Manning went along with it as a West Point Black Knight.

“When I got out of the military, I was one of the founders of Knights Out, working to repeal the policy,” he said of his work with other West Point graduates.

Malson, 35, whom Manning refers to as his fiance, was 13 and living in Fond du Lac when he became open about who he was. Malson was picked on in school, but he didn‘t hide or run away from who he was.

“I kind of realized I was gay at that age, and there was nothing I could do to change,” he said.

Partners in life

Call it fate: Manning and Malson were raised about three hours from each other in Georgia, but did not meet until both men lived in Fond du Lac.

Malson explained that in 2011 he was ready to leave Fond du Lac and return to Georgia. He quit his job, was packing his apartment, and planned to get rid of his car. Then he met Manning at a gay bar in Oshkosh.

“I saw this handsome man sitting at the end of the bar,” Malson recalled.

The two started spending time together in the week before Malson was set to leave town. They were going to pick up a U-Haul truck in October 2011 when Manning asked Malson to stay and be his roommate.

On New Year’s Eve 2012, Manning proposed to Malson, presenting him with a ring before friends at a party. The two men are buying a house and planning a wedding, although Wisconsin currently does not recognize gay marriage.

“For me, personally, a marriage ceremony between us would be more symbolic,” Malson said, adding “It would symbolize our commitment to each other.”

A typical couple

Manning and Malson are different in a lot of ways, but like most couples they find middle ground.

Malson explained that Manning is good at math, served in the Army, works as an engineer and does yard work. He rides a motorcycle and is into the “big picture,” while Malson describes himself as a detail person.

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“I think Dan’s extremely intelligent and compassionate and a good leader and none of that has to do with sexuality,” Malson observed.

A front desk manager at The Retlaw Plaza Hotel, Malson attends UW-Fond du Lac and is pursuing a degree in art.

“Joseph is definitely more into the arts, but I’m not,” Manning said. He said Malson has a great imagination, is very smart and “keeps track of all the little things that escape me.”

The two said they are just like everyone else.

New era

It is encouraging to bothmen that younger people don’t make a big deal about differences in people. Recent polls have shown much greater acceptance of gay lifestyles than in the past.

“As I’m out talking to people in the community and meeting people — even people in the military, soldiers that are 18-19-20-years old — they don’t care (about sexual orientation or differences) as long as you do your job,” Manning said.

He said the coming out of professional athletes and other high-profile people can serve as an example to young people across the nation who may believe their sexuality is too difficult to face. He noted that the suicide rate of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people is much higher than the general population.

Manning said the disclosure by Collins was groundbreaking.

“I think it is a big deal,” he said. “There are probably more gay people in the sports world than we think. He’s going to be a leader in the sports community and I think that’s encouraging.”