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Thursday, February 9, 2012

Man Found Guilty of DV ordered to Buy Flowers and Dinner

From the Files of are freaking kidding me?

What parallel universe is this asshat judge living in? I am so outraged I can barely type.

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Men who abuse follow a pattern... Charmingly sweet, they are the last people we expect to harm us. ( we wouldnt fall for them if they were outright bruisers). They slowly isolate the woman from her social and familial contacts, and as she becomes dependent upon him, he starts belittling and "fising", helping her.
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One day, she says or does something that sets him off and he reacts in violence. He is immediately repentant. Sorry follows with flowers and heartfelt apologies and words of "I ll never do it again." Or "If you just had not made me so angry honey."

And the honeymoon cycle begins.. eventually the tension starts building though until his next outburst of violence, the apologies and make ups, and then the honeymoon cycle of he's the greatest, sweetest charmer...

To think this judge is unaware of the well documented cycle of violence!

According to the article, the man only pushed her to the sofa, put his hands around her neck and threatened to hit her in a spat over forgetting her birthday. ( again, her fault)

So the judge says buy her dinner at Red Lobster and a card and take her bowling. And see a marriage counselor. Because it wasnt that serious a case. She didnt think she was in danger. I didnt think I was either even when I was being pounded for 15 minutes. I figured it be over soon. But that isnt the point. We arent supposed to just take it! That is just stupid!

Back in the 80's there were no laws against beating your partner. There are now. But not if they dont get enforced by the courts.

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About Me

I am more than a label, however, society likes neat little names to get to know us. I am a woman who has struggled to overcome these labels. I am a rape and DV survivor, an outspoken activist, Jewelry designer, recovering alcoholic and addict, globe-trotting, fun loving chick with brown hair and blue eyes. I am a mother and daughter and a friend. My past does not define me but it has shaped me for the good or bad. All of these things have brought me to the solution for that aching void inside me that no amount of drugs, alcohol, men, cheesecake or fake love could ever fill. When I turned to God and fully gave Him my love, that bleak, desolate void was healed.