WASHINGTON, D.C. - Here we are. This is a real event, not a hallucination brought on by chugging a quart of Robitussin laced with bronzer: Donald Trump is being inaugurated President of the United States of America this morning. Festivities will being at 11:30, and right now, much of Jezebel is seated around a breakfast table in Washington in silence, broken occasionally by someone muttering darkly, “This motherfucker.”

Let’s all experience this together, because we have no choice whatsoever.