Where Mom unleashes the inner monologue.

FaceBook Rant Part 1

by pancaks on June 3, 2014

I say Part 1 because there’s a lot to rant about FaceBook and you never know how many posts it would take to cover all of that. These are some of the top things that bug the crap out of me on FaceBook. I’m sure there will be more to follow.

1. Just because I don’t like or share your cancer survival photo does not mean that I am pro-cancer. My grandmother is a survivor and I think she’s absolutely amazing for it. There are a million of those photos out and while I am thrilled for these people to beat cancer, it’s usually not the person’s own page that it’s coming from, so the original person will have no idea that I am happy for them and like that they beat cancer. And the pictures of little kids surviving cancer just tears my heart to pieces that they had to go through that. If I saw the kid, I’d totally give them a high five and a teddy bear.

2. Just because I don’t like or share your picture of Jesus does not mean that I’m going to hell. Saying things like that may make you go to hell. You don’t know me and you don’t get to stand at the pearly gates taking admission tickets. I’m pretty sure that Jesus doesn’t care if his photo is plastered all over FaceBook if people are trying to guilt trip others into sharing it. That’s not how this whole missionary and evangelism thing is supposed to work. Spread the word, that’s fantastic, but don’t make people feel like crap for not liking a bad B stock photo of a long haired white guy who’s supposed to look like Jesus. They hadn’t invented sunscreen yet so I’m pretty sure that Jesus was not that pale.

3. If you don’t want people to know your business, quit blabbing about it on FaceBook. Your dirty laundry should go in your hamper, not the internet. Besides, the people that want to know that stuff, are the people who don’t need to have any input in it, the people that need to know that stuff are probably the ones you are hurting by putting all your business out there for the world to judge. And there are people that will prowl for that kind of crap. If you and your spouse are having issues, someone that wants you or your spouse for themselves is now invited into your issues via FaceBook and could use the info to try to tear you two apart instead of allowing you space to work it out. If you are divorced, everything you say on there will probably get back to either your kids (if you have them) or your ex, and then it just gets ugly. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

4. Who are these people in my friends list? I don’t know half of them and the other 1/4 are people I knew or were acquaintances with that I could really care less about updating them on my life, or the random updates about their life…or their dirty laundry. See #3.

5. A FaceBook post for your family member’s birthday does not replace a phone call or visit. It’s fine for friends/acquaintances, but when it’s my sister’s bday, you best believe she gets a ridiculous post on her page from me AND a phone call screaming HAPPY BIRTHDAY so loud that her ears bleed and her cat runs for the nearest hidey hole. That’s true love right there. Speaking of cats…

6. Cat videos are hilarious. I give you permission to continue posting them. They make my son laugh so hard he falls over, so I approve. People getting angry about cat videos be all over the interwebs is just stupid. There’s tons of other stupid stuff for you to complain about. Get over it. They’re funny. Here. Have a laugh.

7. Game invites. I’m pretty sure everyone here is with me on this. I know a lot of games send it automatically, but going in and blocking all those is annoying, almost as annoying as receiving those stupid invites. Or requests. No, I will not play Candy Crush or Crave or whatever just so you can get an extra life. Quit sucking at the game and your problem will be solved.

8. Political posts. I am all for one sharing their views with their fellow man and the discussion that could ensue. However, if you cannot handle someone opposing your viewpoint, you shouldn’t put it out there like that. Debate is how we learn. It sometimes brings up the fallacies in our own perspective or it could teach someone else the problems with theirs. Either way, no one thinks the same way or the same things. Expect an opposition and handle it with grace. If people can’t be nice, block them, don’t stoop to their level. It’s a lot easier to pull someone down than to push someone up and too many people will take that easy road.

9. Motivational photos. I can understand that you’ve had a rough day and found a quote inspiring. And even more so since it’s on a pretty landscape background. I cannot understand how you need 20 of these quotes a day on your page and insist on sharing every single one of them. One a day. That’s all you get!

10. I really don’t give a crap what you ate at whatever restaurant. It’s one thing to post a photo if it’s a special occasion and really good food, especially if there’s a recipe attached. I’m a sucker for recipes. It’s another to post a picture of your McDonald’s cheeseburger every time you go through the drive thru. Moderation.

Ok, so I’ll stop my rant here. I figure 10 Things I Hate About Facebook is enough for one day. I know I’m ripping on FaceBook pretty bad, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t get on there just about every single day or that I haven’t done some of these things before, because I do and I probably have. C’est la vie. I just find these things humorously frustrating because of their large quantities on my news feed. So there you go. Have a happy day!