Monday, April 25, 2011

Fact:Infertility is a disease of the reproductive system.It does not discriminate and affects all races, religions, men and women equally and people all over the world.Whether or not you resolve your infertility journey by choosing to become a parent is a function of your determination and not a higher-power.

Parenthood is attainable, if that is truly your goal.You may or may not be fortunate enough to have a biological connection to your child, but if you want the experience of being a parent, you can achieve that dream.

People who choose to be childfree after infertility have examined the avenues to parenthood, considered the advantages and disadvantages, and decided that being a family of two is also a blessing.

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This is National Infertility Awareness Week.I thought long and hard about making this post.I wrote it and then put it away.I rewrote it and then tweaked it some more.Those of you who know me in real life know that I will talk all day about almost anything as long as it’s not personal or emotional, so you know what a big deal this is.

We have been trying to become parents for 18 months now.We have been seeing a reproductive endocrinologist for unspecified infertility since July 2010.We have had four cycles of IUI, which resulted in one pregnancy in November, a missed miscarriage two days before Christmas and a D&C in January.

We are coming to a cross roads.My insurance will cover two more tries at IUI and that is all.No coverage for anything more aggressive, which is the norm for most insurance. I am lucky that it even covers the IUIs.If neither try is successful, anything else we do will be completely out of pocket.Fortunately, we do have options.

* Do nothing and accept that we will be a family of two (plus a furbaby) and enjoy our lives together.

* Adoption – domestic infant adoption is neither quick nor inexpensive.I’ve researched several local and national adoption organizations.At our age, placement can take up to 2 years or more and the costs range from $25,000 - $40,000.

* IVF – We could do IVF.This comes with a huge physical toll in addition to the expense, $20,000, with no guarantee of success.Our clinic’s success rate for those over 40 using their own eggs is 24%.

* Donor eggs – We could do IVF with donor eggs.This eliminates the all the meds and shots and monitoring and blood work that comes with IVF.It also increases the success rate to about 60%.We could do one cycle with donor eggs for $14,500, with no guarantee.We could participate in the shared risk program for $29,500, which gives you up to six IVF cycles with the guarantee of a take home baby or a complete refund.

So, that’s where we stand, here, at the beginning of IUI cycle #5.We are lucky that we have support from the family and friends that we have told and that we have the resources to make whichever way we decide to go viable.There are plenty of people for whom all of these options are out of reach.

We will gladly accept all your thoughts and prayers as we work together to decide what is best for us and we will happily share any good news, if and when we have some.

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My 101 Goals in 1001 Days

Purple indicates that the goal is complete. Blue indicates that the goal is in progress.Gray means that the goal hasn't been started yet.

MONEY MATTERS1. Pay off credit card debt2. Build a two month emergency fund3. Write a will4. Increase 401(k) to get full match5. Get a freelancing job

HOME IMPROVEMENT6. Add chair rail in dining room7. Add crown molding8. Paint guest room9. Get closet done in master10. Reupholster dining room chairs11. Get a fire extinguisher12. Put up a back splash in the kitchen

GO SOMEWHERE13. Go snorkeling14. Go back to Europe15. Go to Six Flags16. Take a dinner cruise17. Go to an evening at an Embassy18. Go to a Capitols game19. Go to Las Vegas20. Go to Canada21. Take a cruise22. Visit friends in Cleveland23. Watch the planes at Gravelly Point

EAT SOMETHING31. Get all the recipes on cards or in binders32. Eat three more servings of fruit and veggies a day for month (0/30)33. Eat at 10 new restaurants (5/10)34. Try a new recipe each month (16/33)35. Post on August Cooks blog (3/16)36. Post on Recipe Nest blog (2/16)37. Cook vegetarian once every two weeks (3/72)38. Use the bread machine once a week (7/143)39. Make ice cream40. Make homemade marshmallows41. Eat breakfast in bed42. Take my lunch every day for a month

GET MOVING43. Buy a bike44. Run a 5K45. Run a 10K46. Get fitted for new running shoes47. Take a yoga class

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF48. Lose 30 pounds (13/30)49. Get a massage twice a year (3/6)50. Get a pedicure every other month (6/16)51. Floss52. Exercise at least twice a week (0/143)53. Get a second tattoo54. Drink 6 glasses of water a day for a month (30/30)LEARN SOMETHING55. Take a dance class56. Take a Spanish class57. Read at least 10 non-fiction books (12/10)58. Read 30 books in 2011 (43/30)59. Read 40 books in 2012 (40/40)60. Learn to drive a stick shift61. Learn to knit62. Learn to ring 4IH63. Solve a ‘hard’ crossword without cheating

DO GOOD64. Donate blood at least 3 times (0/3)65. Volunteer somewhere regularly66. Fill a shoebox for Operation Christmas Child (2/3)67. Donate five dollars for every goal I don’t complete68. Start to recycle69. Do a walk for charity each year (2/3)70. Make a microloan through Kiva71. Purge the house for the church yard sale (2/3)

SUPPORT THE ARTS72. Watch all the movies on the AFI 100 (51/100)73. See an opera (Tosca)74. Buy an art piece from a local artist75. Participate in a Messiah sing-a-long - 201276. See a show at the Signature Theater77. See a show at Ford’s Theater78. See a show at the National79. Attend a movie marathon – three movies at the theater in one day

BUILD RELATIONSHIPS80. {private}81. Update this blog at least once a week (18/143)82. Do something nice for my husband for no reason (3/33)83. Send cards/gifts to my friends for no reason (5/33)84. Have people over for dinner (2/10)85. Call Mom once a week (3/143)86. Host a game night87. Meet at least one of my internet friends in real life

MISCELLANEOUS88. Buy a plant and try not to kill it for a year89. Release 10 books via Book Crossing (0/10)90. Ride the Ducks91. Go to the library every two weeks instead of buying so many books (3/72)92. Load all my CDs on the MP3 player93. Clean condo once a week (8/143)94. Find five new letterboxes a year (0/3)- (3/5)(0/5)95. Sing karaoke96. Go to a high school football game97. Have a picnic98. Build a snowman99. Catch up on Dexter100. Catch up on True Blood101. Make a new 101 in 1001 list