Fortunately analysis is not the only way to resolve inner conflicts. Life itself still remains a very effective therapist.

Month: May 2017

16 years ago today my life was changed forever by the birth of our first of two daughters.. That is hard to say, 16 years old! From day 1 she has always been a kindred spirit to me yet fiercely independent. Not much has changed over the last 16 years, with a few exceptions. She is becoming an amazing woman full of fire, motivation and determination for life.

There is no doubt that you will do great things as long as you set your mind to it, follow your heart more than your mind and listen what I say once in a while. One day you will see that all the “crazy” things I say just might be close to the truth.

My dad told me something once that I can completely understand now. He said “having children, no matter how old, how much they talk or see one another are little pieces of your heart in the flesh walking around on earth”

He couldn’t be more right, I feel like I have two little pieces of my heart walking around, risking their safety, experimenting with their own lives and growing older every day.

I know there will be times you think I’m crazy or I don’t know what I’m talking about, I remember the exact same thoughts when I was growing up. I’m not saying I’m always right however I’m mostly right and I also understand the thoughts of an artist and having independence. I know you have to experience things for yourself to understand them just like I did. Keep the words I say in the back of your mind as you head out on the journey of life and never forget I’m here for you always.

One day you will be out on your own, making a life for yourself, falling in love, getting married, starting a family for yourself, working all the time, and may not have time for your old dad. The only things I want from you is for you to not make the same mistakes I made and live life to the fullest, don’t settle for second and never forget who had your heart fist.

“I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living my baby you’ll be” – Robert Munsch (a book named Love You Forever)

I love you Haylee, happy 16th birthday

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I can’t describe what an emotional few days it has been in words; the best I can offer is it’s been like a whirlwind in my head. A little over a week ago I received the news that my grandmothers health was rapidly declining and her illness has reached terminal. Not fully understand the reality of the situation I stopped by to visit with the girls. As we walked in she was resting, such a beautiful peaceful rest too. It was so precious I told my grandpa not to wake her, she needed rest.
As we sat there and whispered to one another about the normal topics with grandpa, who has a boyfriend, who is about to drive and get into all kinds of trouble and after about 20 min he ran out of amazing one liners so we decided to wake up the real talker.
As she woke up she looked a little confused as to what was going on and why we were there. After a few minutes she began to come out of the sleep fog and chat a little. Although she was definitely not the normal fiery redhead full of energy she was on a normal day. We carried on for a bit until we were interrupted by some business that needed to be discussed with some of the family, so I gave her a hug and said “see you later grandma” as we walked out; totally thinking I would see her again. That was the last time I would see her…
Later that week I went out of town on business and while on business I received the phone call I really wasn’t ready to receive. “Scotty, Grandma has passed away” I didn’t know if I should cry or smile knowing she was not in pain, she could breathe again and in a much better place. Putting my personal life on hold I informed my team of the news, to hear from one of the other teammates that Chris Cornell has committed suicide. With the passing of my grandmother the news was harder to not feel through team and set the tone for the day.
The family talked here and there about the details of the viewing and funeral arrangements for grandma and they were set to be held on Tuesday. Monday morning I received another phone call from a friend at work that a co-worker has passed away as well on Monday morning. Already full of emotion due to my grandmother passing it hit me hard, but not as hard as what was coming. As I grabbed my car keys later that day I saw this little item on my keychain. Something so insignificant and small yet so full of meaning, there it was, a little key.
I know you may not understand the meaning of this key; let me explain. Remember when you were younger and you bought the yin-yang friendship bracelet or neckless for you and your best friend. This little key was given to me because we worked a lot of overtime and also loved music. My co-worker had brought in a nice Bose speaker and didn’t want anyone to walk off with it so we decided to lock it up. I had one key he had the other. It was a trusting gift between him and I.
This morning I’m sitting here with this key, trying to figure out what to do with it or who to give it to.
Life is like that, something so meaningless as a key can hold so much emotion or something as precious as a hug that may be the last hug you give. Today I’m really struggling, my heart is broken, my friend is gone, my grandmother no longer here to bicker with my grandpa. Today I’m sitting here holding so many keys that others have given me. I’m keeping this key, it was a gift of trust and friendship and I’m holding onto the last hug I gave my grandma. My heart hurts so badly today struggling to find a way to process the losses in my life not only to death some losses are lost due to not living bold enough. R.I.P. Mike (money) Meister I will miss you

I love you and will miss you Dorothy E. LaCoss

April 21, 1935 – May 18, 2017

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It’s time for another War on Sugar post (IF) update, and this time I bring to you some science proving my lifestyle change has improved my health. I recently had a physical by my Doctor and also some Lab/ blood-work checkups due to being Hypothyroid.

I know from previous labs that quite a few numbers were “off” so to speak. Not terrible but not even in the “acceptable range”.

I received my results yesterday and all my numbers were either better than or in the high average range, proof that my Intermittent Fasting lifestyle is paying off. It has also been over a year since he has seen me, actually closer to two years. First thing he said was “wow, you look great” always a nice thing to hear from a doctor. After we had our “how is life” chat we began to talk about my fitness, I had questions regarding my (IF) and Hypothyroidism.

His exact words were “whatever you are doing, do not stop” YES, I have reached a healthy lifestyle that I can maintain and not even think about.

My weight is a steady 185 lbs. (84 kg) and I have visible abs. I’m no longer in the range of overweight and slowly approaching my goal of 10-15% body-fat.

I feel better than I ever have, stronger, faster and far more energy and I’ll be 37 this year. This is including my best shape in my late teen years. That without the proof in the blood-work is enough to want to tell everyone YOU CAN DO IT TOO!!

One of the biggest lies ever is that a healthy lifestyle is not for everyone. We are all human, yes genetics plays a part in the results, but your lifestyle WILL overcome if you excerpt the effort to change. You are not alone, find a friend, get to the gym, get up, get out.. Whatever it takes be willing to do it, and most importantly DO IT FOR YOURSELF!

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I read a post this morning that hit me harder than most. It was about seeing how much time we waste doing things that do not matter. It really made me think about how much time I spend doing nothing.

It is sad to think of what the internet has done, or I should say, allowed us to do to ourselves. It has destroyed our patience, lowered our value for communication and intimacy, almost completely desensitized us to the evil of the world, now what once was a video you had to be 18+ to see is now a click of a button, the words that couldn’t be said on television are now not even noticed when said.

It’s scary to see what our children see and hear, I sometimes struggle as an adult to hear and see some of the things our children have the opportunity to see and hear every day. It breaks my heart to think back to when life was so simple, when our time was important and when we had to say what needed to be said and not hide behind our phones and use text to communicate.

I feel how important it is to have human connection and am seeing as I get older how priceless our time is. In 2 years my oldest will be 18.. Where has the time gone? What did I miss while I was too busy living my life and working to create more?

I do not fear death, I fear missing out on what is important and having to live with the fact that I had the chance and didn’t take it. People will forget what car you drive, what clothes you own; they will never forget how you made them feel. To me the connection I desire most is the one that changes my heart, the one that feeds my soul and inspires me to give back.