Saturday, May 26, 2012

Being sick is no excuse...

Let me get one thing straight: being sick is no excuse for treating other people poorly. Just because I feel bad is no excuse to make others feel bad. My feelings are my responsibility. Just because I feel like $#!+ is no excuse to piss in other people's Wheaties. Having a chronic illness is no excuse for abusing someone. I don't care how sorry your life is. If you're reading this, you've got it better than MILLIONS. Pull up your big girl or boy pants, and DEAL. I've only know a few people like this*, in the hundreds of people I know like this**, so this is not an epidemic. But a few bad apples can give a group a bad name. So I wanted to put this out here.

Scream and cry and rant all you want! By all means, rage against your disease! But don't ever take it out on other people. This is a darkness we have to carry. They are blessed to be in the light. Don't cast shadows in their direction. Age catches up with us all, they'll be dealing with it soon enough. And then we'll have the experience that my grandmother had:

My grandmother was talking on the phone with my mother, and she was complaining about her friends. "They've all become such whiners...," she extolled. And then she suddenly realized, I've had a lifetime to get use to chronic illness, and they've just started...

We are the vanguard. We are the troops that stand at the tip of the spear, the first and in front, to break way for everyone else. We have been blessed with TIME: to learn, and adjust, and get used to... This is coming for them too. Age catches up with us all, and for them, there are a lot of surprises.

Take for example... Ask yourself: how many people do you know who've been shot? Not many, I hope. And then think: how many shoot-outs have you seen on TV and in movies? Too many to count, right? Now, what's the myth that we've been sold? That age means nothing anymore (60 is the new 30), that we have a pill for everything (Viagra... don't let a little age slow you down; Zolft, "You just shouldn't have to feel this way..."), and that medical mysteries can be solved by a crack team in 37 minutes ("You just need to find the right doctor..."). Now, how true is that in your life?

They're going to find out soon enough. We need to be ready... to be there for them. We are the vanguard, the ones who learn what we're facing, first. For now, we can help one another, because this $#!+ is hard, and we shouldn't have to face it alone. And then, once they catch up to us, we can help them too.

Feeling bad is no excuse for treating you badly. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. There is no excuse for abuse. There may be an explanation, and possibly forgiveness... But don't be sold the bill of goods that it's okay. That's a Myth.