Day 248 - General Specificity

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being over general with my self-investigation in a way that is akin to "BSing" school work or "fluff writing."

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define generalized writing as bad because it isn't specific enough to be really effective.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that a generalized writing form can serve as necessary, initial stepping stones in my Journey to Life process.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear moving no where and making no progress.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my efforts are futile, not realizing that by allowing this fear to direct me, I create and manifest the effect.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not dedicate more time, earlier in the day, to my writing and investigation process, leaving me with no choice but to whip out a quickie at the end of the day.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to only write the generalized dimension of a single point and then move on faster than I can realize what I've begun to discover.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become disinterested in the specifics of a single point because it isn't as easy as the flow of an initial opening/discovery writing form.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the specific dimensions of writing as 'hard' and 'too difficult' where I do not even allow myself to try going deeper.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear failing in relation to self-change if I write within depth and specificity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not give myself the opportunity to try.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that if I fall, I can try again.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that the design of fearing to fail is keeping me from trying, keeping my from falling, and keeping me from getting back up and becoming stronger, and thus, fearing to fail = failing.
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When and as I see myself writing a generalized, surface level dimension of a point, I realize that this is just the first stage, and to not fear my inability to bring the point through a specific and thorough writing investigation. Here, I stop I breathe. I commit myself to writing about what comes up in a moment and when it's a point that I have already written on, I commit myself to reading and rediscovering within the prior post, how can I go deeper, what have I missed.

When and as I see myself wanting to just get by with a simple, easy, general post at that end of the day, I stop I breathe. I realize that I am compromising myself through a subtle emotional outflow of self-defeatist backchat that I haven't explored. I commit myself to stand up and stop the self-abuse through the realization of who I am in a moment with the application of my breathing awareness.

When and as I see myself fearing that I am not being specific enough and/or not going deep enough into a single point and thus through that, fearing that I am wasting my time writing fluff, I stop I breathe. I realize that fear is not benefiting me, and through that realization, I commit myself to conducting immediate, vocalized self-forgiveness on the fear before it becomes an outflow of inaction and self-limitation.

When and as I see myself wanting to run away from my blog because I fear not being able to produce a quality post, I stop I breathe. I realize that this is the moment of truth, so to speak. This is my chance to push through fear/resistance and not allow myself to be directed by it in a way that yields what I fear. I commit myself to identifying all points of fear, ESPECIALLY within the general dimension, so that I may gain clarity on what is moving me. From there, I commit myself to push through the fear and resistance of going deeper so that I may flow within the specifics of process as well.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I cannot flow within the specific, thorough and more difficult dimensions simply because I haven't been able to nor have I given myself the time to practice my depth/specificity writing.
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When and as I see myself fall, I stop I breathe. I realize that I can get up after a fall. I realize that I do not have to define myself as a failure because of this fall. I commit myself to standing back up and doing whatever it takes to press forward.