Question

Is it me or my hormones?

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I know this is a touchy subject for a lot of people but I have questions about my sex drive. I know that with a 4 month old, a full time job, and the household chores that doesn't leave much time for any kind of sex time. But I guess what I'm really wondering is how long did it take for you to want to have sex again? I feel like at this point it should just be added to my chore list. My spouse is always ready but I'm always exhausted.. How did you get back into having that type of relationship?

Mom Answers

I think this is a perfectly legitimate question. A baby is a lot of work and no wonder so many women have this problem. I had a pretty bad vaginal delivery so I was not allowed to have sex for 2 months after delivery. At 4 months after it still hurt a bit. I had the desire to have sex but not the motivation to do anything just from pure exhaustion. Plus, hormone levels in your body are still getting back to normal so everything is out of whack. Keep the communication going with him so he understands. And in the meantime, try to get some time alone together. My son is 8 months old and I feel like I'm starting to get back to normal.

What you're saying is true for so many women, including myself. My baby is 13 months old and my sex drive still isn't what it used to be, but it's gotten a lot better! I also breastfed my baby until he was a year old. At that point it didn't have much to do with hormones so much as the demands of having a little one. Your sex drive is expected to be lower if you're breastfeeding, but even if you're not breast feeding, the demands of having a baby alone are enough to affect your sex drive. Try to explain this to your partner, and if he isn't satisfied, show him some literature on the matter. It gets better and your relationship will mature as long as you have open and understanding communication regarding your sex life. Sometimes it's worth putting off household chores for an evening every now and then in order to reconnect sexually. Best of luck to you!

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