What do you guys think about the idea that there is one person out there for you?

I have a friend who is extremely picky and refuses to ever date someone just for the sake of dating them. He says that most girls he has met don't fit his criteria of the one, so he doesn't want to waste his time trying to make something happen with girls he considers imperfect.

It's very strange to me since personally I have gave up the idea in my teenage years.Mainly because I have a hard time accepting that there is one person out there that will meet all your standards. Most girls seem perfect in the beginning of the relationship and slowly but surely red flags appear.

Where do you guys stand?

What are some of the items on his criteria?

You know, I seriously bounce back and forth on this one. I think someone can have several "ones" in a lifetime even. And by him not meeting or going on a date with someone, how does he NOT know he is letting "the one" pass him by?

It's a nice idea, thinking there is one person out there for you, and maybe there is, but I think it's more important to look for someone that you can laugh with, and just be with, someone you can have awesome conversations with, etc. Those things will matter more in the end than anything else, and you can have those things with more than just one person._________________
Thanks BenderRodriguez for the sig!
BornToFly's Relationship Advice v.17

There is more than one "the one". Truth is anybody w/ the right chemistry and the commitment to work on the relationship can be the one. But you can't know if somebody is the one w/o first going on a date. I met my ex-wife while I was dating somebody else, a mutual friend introduced us when he brought her along to karaoke one night. 6 weeks later we were set up at an anti-valentines party, 7 months later were married. We had good and bad times, really more good than bad, but the bad was really bad. Could she have been the one? Absolutely, had things worked out a little differently, had both of us been a little better about communicating our problems and about working thru the hard times, we could easily have stayed together for the rest of our lives. Did I have any idea when we met on that night in early January that we would get married? Not a clue. I was with somebody else who I thought was "the one".

My advice to anybody is, if you don't feel like going on a date, don't, but if you are just looking for the one, and think all else is a waste, you are missing out on a ton of experiences in your life, and you may let "the one" just slide right by.

BTW ROFLMFAO at the notion that anybody knows whether or not they want kids before they have them, especially guys._________________2013 Bears Forum Mike Ditka Award Winner
2014 Adopt-A-Bear Alshon Jeffery

There is no "the one." Thats just a term used by naive people in an attempt to make their relationship/potential relationship seem special or preordained. There are only varying levels of compatibility between potential mates, becoming aware of that will make life easier on you. I promise_________________

just find a girl you find extremely attractive, shares similar interests and life goals, and has the same moral values as you in whatever areas.

Those are pretty childish standards, no offense.

First of all, extremely attractive women, we'll say 8.5-10 are a hell of a ton more likely to cheat on you or take advantage. I know that sounds stereotypical but some stereotypes are true.

I cannot tell you at my age how many men I've seen fall prey to having a hot woman by their side and ignore everything else.

When it comes down to it, it's a very primal instinct to outdo your fello males in bagging the hottest woman.

What happens is most men will force the other attributes to come into line. Like for example, if a man is dating a 9, he will settle for their common interests being movies and work. Ignoring all the other vast, vast differences.

You'll also start to notice ( go ahead and make a log for a month if you have the time ) that a man dating a hottie will overlook obvious flaws because the hot factor overshadows them.

I'll give you just one example:

Man: " What's for dinner? "

Woman: " Let's go out tonight! "

Man: " Isn't that the 4th time this week? "

Woman: " No we ordered in the one day, plus I thought we'd try Seafood today "

Man: " Sounds good "

*At the restaurant the woman orders a Salad that has nothing to do with seafood.

And at the end of the day, many hot women are extremely sly. They will pretend to be stupid to trick you. Oh boy, I swear. If life has taught me anything it's to stay away from ridiculously hot women, unless they're strippers and I expect to be ripped off.

Moral values...I don't even know where to touch that subject, nearly meaningless in relationships because you will almost always skew your values in certain situations if you actually have invested in the relationship. Unless you're just a stubborn mule.

I'd say:

1. Find a partner on the same intellectual plateau.
2. Find a partner you are physically attracted (I like my 7 just fine)
3. Find a partner you don't have financial arguments with.
4. Find a partner you enjoy general social company with._________________Legends Never Die. They Breathe Through The New Generation.100 Greatest Quarterbacks of All Time

I dont believe in "the one" just from how we look for them. Like someone else said earlier, we only live in like 3 cities in our lives....then on top of that we tend to date mainly around our same economic status, age, level of attractiveness, etc......thats hardly a soulmate search.

I actually think I have known(friends or dated) 3 women I could have married already._________________

There is more than one "the one". Truth is anybody w/ the right chemistry and the commitment to work on the relationship can be the one. But you can't know if somebody is the one w/o first going on a date. I met my ex-wife while I was dating somebody else, a mutual friend introduced us when he brought her along to karaoke one night. 6 weeks later we were set up at an anti-valentines party, 7 months later were married. We had good and bad times, really more good than bad, but the bad was really bad. Could she have been the one? Absolutely, had things worked out a little differently, had both of us been a little better about communicating our problems and about working thru the hard times, we could easily have stayed together for the rest of our lives. Did I have any idea when we met on that night in early January that we would get married? Not a clue. I was with somebody else who I thought was "the one".

My advice to anybody is, if you don't feel like going on a date, don't, but if you are just looking for the one, and think all else is a waste, you are missing out on a ton of experiences in your life, and you may let "the one" just slide right by.

BTW ROFLMFAO at the notion that anybody knows whether or not they want kids before they have them, especially guys.

I can see it. I'd much rather have someone realize kids are not for them then take a chance and have them and realize they really are not. I completely understand there are some out there who think they don't want any but then do and completely love parenthood, but there are also lots that sadly do not. I hate when I hear about unwanted children being out there. If you know it's not for you, then you know. If you do become a parent, be there always._________________
Thanks BenderRodriguez for the sig!
BornToFly's Relationship Advice v.17

There is more than one "the one". Truth is anybody w/ the right chemistry and the commitment to work on the relationship can be the one. But you can't know if somebody is the one w/o first going on a date. I met my ex-wife while I was dating somebody else, a mutual friend introduced us when he brought her along to karaoke one night. 6 weeks later we were set up at an anti-valentines party, 7 months later were married. We had good and bad times, really more good than bad, but the bad was really bad. Could she have been the one? Absolutely, had things worked out a little differently, had both of us been a little better about communicating our problems and about working thru the hard times, we could easily have stayed together for the rest of our lives. Did I have any idea when we met on that night in early January that we would get married? Not a clue. I was with somebody else who I thought was "the one".

My advice to anybody is, if you don't feel like going on a date, don't, but if you are just looking for the one, and think all else is a waste, you are missing out on a ton of experiences in your life, and you may let "the one" just slide right by.

BTW ROFLMFAO at the notion that anybody knows whether or not they want kids before they have them, especially guys.

I can see it. I'd much rather have someone realize kids are not for them then take a chance and have them and realize they really are not. I completely understand there are some out there who think they don't want any but then do and completely love parenthood, but there are also lots that sadly do not. I hate when I hear about unwanted children being out there. If you know it's not for you, then you know. If you do become a parent, be there always.

Yea this, haha, it would be pretty weird if you figured out you didnt want kids AFTER you had one, haha. I actually work for department of children and family services here in Chicago and its not pretty when it does happen.

People know when they dont want kids all the time. We have nieces nephews, cousins, and like myself I work with children. I have a cousin who actually writes a series of childrens books based on her niece(my younger cousin) and she doesnt want kids.

You guys really kind of jumped the shark with the "you dont know till you have them" idea_________________