Just kind of in a dark place right now... no i dont want fake pity or "everything is gonna be ok"... i just know im now the only one going through shit right now.... according the the hospital last night im "depressed" i got in trouble cause i looked him dead in the eyes "you dont fuckin say i thought i was all sparkles and sunshine ya dumbass" x.x yeah im not the smartest person during a major anxiety attack... anyway enjoy the feels im going bavk to be to cuddle with my phone and binge some more dance with devils i rather enjoy it to be honest

I work with my brother in the family business, and recently we were driving and he asked me "Are you ok?" I don't know what my face looked like at the time, normally I put up a pretty good front, but I know I'm usually depressed so I tell him "ah it's just a migraine" (everyone in our family gets) so he drops it. Few days later he asked me again and I forgot to filter my response so I said "I'm just really depressed" And he asked me why, this stopped me cold because I honestly don't know. I told him this and he said "what do you mean you don't know?" He just started arguing with me about it. But that is my biggest issue, sometimes I know what's wrong and why I'm depressed, but other times I have no idea and it just makes it worse because then I start thinking "what do I have to be depressed about? Nothing so suck it up" I don't have the heart to tell him or my family just how few of my migraines are "migraines" and how very many of them are just me in agony of sadness.

ah, that hit me in my soft spot, I'm a guy but I tend to be with girls more often just because I can't stand how cold guys are to each other. girls kinda get drama piled up but I can correct that with more confidence than I can with boys