In his defense, that toaster gives good bread. An unidentified London man is nursing his knob after firefighters had to extract his penis from a toaster. It’s unclear how the gentleman got it in there, but London’s bravest were there to butter his bread, The Mirror reports. Jokes aside, London appears to have a penis problem. MSN reports that firefighters in the area have dealt with too many lodged members over the past three years.

“I don’t know whether it’s the ‘Fifty Shades’ effect, but the number of incidents involving items like handcuffs seems to have gone up,” London firefighter Dave Brown said. Firefighters didn’t say when the incident occurred, but they released the story in an attempt to stop people from having sex with their appliances — or getting into other kinds of embarrassing trouble that diverts resources from emergency services.

Yeah, erm… Was this just the logical progression from that American Pie scene where the dude was banging an apple pie? I just don’t get how people do stupid shit like this, even when under the influence.