The new version of the Facebook iPhone app has dramatically improved the social lives of iPhone owners, by crashing their devices and forcing them to actually talk to other human beings.

The new version was released last night in what Facebook are calling a “back to basics move designed to help people rediscover the concept of tangible human relationships”.

A Facebook spokesperson said, “The new Facebook iPhone app, which essentially shows the Facebook logo and an endlessly spinning timer, renders the device unusable, leaving owners with little choice but to engage in direct conversations with other human beings using vocal chords and eye contact.”