Tag Archives: bill clinton

Whew! We were concerned there for a moment that Congress wasn’t going to bother looking into the the latest SCANDALOUS SCANDAL about Billary Clinton, since the media (except for the New York Times, the Washington Post, Fox, every single news network, and your grandma’s blogspot) have ignored it, but Texas Republican Rep. Ted Poe assures us that, nope, Congress is ON that mofo for sure.
Read more on Idiot Texas Rep Calls For Department Of Clinton Investigatin’, To Investigate The Clintons…

Peter Schweizer, whose book-shaped object Clinton Cash has apparently set some kind of record for Most Debunkings Before Actual Publication, is doing his darndest to keep hyping the thing, which finally slouches into bookstores today. On Monday’s edition of Dana Loesch’s stupid radio show, Loesch asked Schweizer if he’s worried that he’ll be murdered, just like everyone else who’s dared to oppose the Clintons (with the exception of the entire Republican House and Senate membership during Bill Clinton’s two terms, of course).
Read more on ‘Clinton Cash’ Author Worries Clinton Mafia Will Murder Him, Like How They Always Do…

Former Arkansas governor and current traditional values hall monitor Mike Huckabee announced his candidacy for the Republican nomination for president today in Hope, Arkansas, because he is from there, just like Bill Clinton! The theme of the day was “going from Hope to Higher Ground,” because using “hope” as a theme has never been done before, by a presidential candidate from Hope, Arkansas. There was nice uplifting music, like that Tony Orlando stuff Huckabee loves, and quite unlike that whore Beyoncé music the Obamas love, which Mike Huckabee knows is from the devil. Unfortunately, Ted Nugent was not there to help Huckabee sing about bitches’ pussies, BY WHICH WE MEAN KITTY CATS.
Read more on Mike Huckabee Will Be President Of Making All The Ladies Stop Saying Gay Cusses!…

Conservatives have yet to uncover The Scandal that will, once and for all and forever, destroy history’s greatest monsters, Bill and Hillary Clinton. Not for lack of trying — for decades, with a bazillionteen dollars, and an army of rightwing organizations dedicated to inspecting every scrap of toilet paper that ever wiped a Clinton’s butthole. And not without the aid of the media, even the “liberal” media like the New York Times, always happy to imply that if the Clintons drew a breath, it was perhaps illegal, immoral, unethical, or too horrifically X-rated to explain to the children.
Read more on National Review: But What About The Clintons’ Underage Sex Slaves And Russian Blackmail?…

It’s not really 2016 yet, but so far, things are not looking good for the GOP. They’ve already lost this proud teabagger because he loves his Obamacare a whole lot and doesn’t want Republicans to take it away from him, and now they’ve lost Duane Chapman, better known as Dog the Bounty Hunter.
Read more on Dog The Bounty Hunter Not Crazy Enough For Fox News, Sadface!…

Sen. Harry Reid (D-Boxing Ring) has rarely shied away from using his smack-talking Stern Words to smack-talk, sternly, but now that he is officially retiring at the end of this term, he really does NOT give an aerodynamic fuck at a mobile pastry.
Read more on Harry Reid Talking So Much Sh*t About Everybody Now, Does Not Give A Flying F*ck…

Wingnut dickbag douchebreath Don Feder, former opinion “writer” from The Boston Herald and now of the “family values” group World Congress of Families, took a break from whining about The Gay and how the Jewishes suck at Jewing and could really learn from Pat freakin’ Robertson how to be better at that, to explain why Hillary Clinton — or, as he cleverly and values-y-ly calls her, “Hitlery” — will not be president. Everyone don your hazmat suit, and then let’s dive into his pool of pixelated vomit:
Read more on Family Values Guy Says Hillary Clinton Is Too Ugly To Be President, Guess That’s That…

Stupidest Guest Blogger on the Internet Kristinn Taylor is simply asking a simple question: Aren’t Democrats the worst hypocrites ever for even considering nominating Hillary Clinton for president, given the undisputable fact that a new book alleges that she is a “violent spouse abuser”?
Read more on Wingnuts Just Asking: Is Hillary Clinton A Violent Spouse Abuser? And A Lizard Person?…

Republican Hero Sen. Tom Cotton, America’s greatest constitutional expert since Jesus wrote the document himself, has already taught us everything we need to know about the president’s authority To Do Stuff, which is zero. He can’t just go around making deals with other countries, DUH. However, when it comes to bombing them, especially Iran? That’s the president’s number one job. There’s even a song about it! Really, what is the hold up, Obummer? Especially because it would so easy:
Read more on Sen. Tom Cotton Would Like Some Iran War, Like Bill Clinton Did…

Late Thursday, Arkansas Gov. Asa Hutchinson was FIRST! to call a press conference so he could sign the “fixed” Religious Freedom Restoration Act (RFRA) into law, following a weeklong national outcry. Before any journalist could even open a new browser tab to type words about it, there went Indiana Gov. Mike Pence, doing the same damn thing. Did the governors time it that way, so the media wouldn’t know what to cover? Maybe! Or maybe it just happened that way because everybody was ready to go the fuck home for the long holiday weekend. Proponents claimed the original laws did nothing more than protect religious freedom from some unspecified threat, but in reality, the bills were thinly veiled licenses to hate on and discriminate against gays and lesbians, so they had to be amended to ensure that no, this does not give you permission to refuse to do flowers for Dale and Kevin’s wedding, and no, also, please do not take your businesses out of our states!
Read more on Arkansas And Indiana Suck Up To Big Gay With ‘Fixed’ Religious Freedom Bills…

Arkansas Sen. Tom Cotton (R-Logan Act) has just about had it up to here with people fussing about “religious freedom” bills in Indiana and Arkansas, when we have far more important fish to fry, like undercutting the President on nuclear negotiations with Iran. Or, probably, Benghazi (Never Forget!).
Read more on Sen. Tom Cotton Says Gays Should Be Glad They’re Not Hung…

The Indianapolis Star‘s Tuesday edition is a bit stunning, in that the entire front page is devoted to an editorial demanding that Indiana lawmakers “FIX THIS NOW.” They are of course referring to the Fuck The Gays law, signed by Indiana Gov. Mike Pence, which has single-handedly sent the state to number one on pretty much everyone’s list of “states where I do not wish to find myself stranded.”
Read more on Everyone Is Laughing At That Poor Dumb Idiot, Indiana Gov. Mike Pence…

Mike Pence Is Not Here To Answer Questions
Indiana governor Mike Pence is either a deeply stupid man, or he’s been convinced that the deeply stupid Good Christians of his state are truly facing dire harm from having to provide services to, or acknowledge the existence, of LGBT people. Or he’s just a liar. According to the available evidence, the answer is “all of the above.” Pence spent the weekend standing athwart intelligence and screaming “STOP!”, most notably on the George Stephanopoulos Sunday Teevee Funtimes Mimosa Hour, where he attempted to defend his decision to sign Indiana’s new Fuck The Gays bill, known by its supporters as a totally necessary safeguard protecting their precious religious freedom.
Read more on Indiana Gov. Mike Pence: I Proudly Signed Some Anti-Gay Sh*t I Don’t Understand…

At last, someone is brave enough to try, for the first hundredth time ever, to hold the Clintons accountable for being the Clintons. And surprise! It’s the conservative group Freedom Watch, the brainfart of Larry Klayman, Esquire JD — famous for such legal victories as having Barack Obama deported for faking his birth certificate and suing Rachel Maddow for defamation, a suit he did not actually win after all, but that’s just because the clearly biased judge was a Jew. And a lady. What a bitch.
Read more on America’s Worst Lawyer, Larry Klayman, Suing Clintons Again, Totally Gonna Nail ‘Em Now!…

It turns out that CPAC 2015 was pretty much a Cavalcade of Conservative Comedy. In addition to the sly wit of Rick Santorum’s Birther joke, Sean Hannity did this hilarious routine about how Barack Obama keeps blaming Bush for everything! Talk about a fresh idea! Except it sort of went all cattywampus at the end:
Read more on Ladies, Sean Hannity Can See Into Your Baby Caves…

Oh, we are SNEERING at our home state of Arkansas right now, so hard. You see, we grew up in Little Rock during the days of Bill Clinton, back when Arkansas was Democrat Tuff, in a very blue dog way of course, but never mind. Now it’s been overrun by the same extremist wingnuts who have taken over state legislatures and governors’ mansions all over the South and beyond, with all the stupid that naturally follows those takeovers. Right now, Arkansas is ready to let a horrid, stupid bill become law, SB 202, wherein towns and hamlets and cozy, scenic criks will be banned from passing ordinances protecting LGBT citizens from discrimination. Why this big government intrusion from Little Rock? Because, of course, gays are gross, and we have to protect reg’lar Arkansans from the “chaos” that would ensue if LGBT people were treated equally:
Read more on Arkansas Does Not Need Your Gay Business, Gays!…