Saturday, October 1, 2011

In Which I Attempt to Steal Sister’s Bike

There’s a new family legend out there in cyberspace.I’m not just Joe, mild-mannered bike commuter and college professor.

No, like Bad Horse, I’ve apparently ridden to the wild side.

I’m Joe, Bike Thief.

I was enjoying a beer in the new University Center at Mount Mercy University after the dedication ceremony Friday, when my cell phone rang.A raspy voice in code set up the heist.Actually a nice man whose nondescript name I don’t recall—Steve or Nick or something—told me “we have a wheel for you.”

He was referring to my rear wheel, where I had broken the spoke Wednesday.It was good news to hear from the bike shop Friday, and Saturday, today, I went to retrieve the bike.

The gentleman at Northtowne asked for my last name, which I gave.He then wheeled out a cream-colored Raleigh with a back rack.A lady’s bike, too.My manly non-Raleigh bike is black with no rack (I hang a basket on the front, wicked witch style).

I told them this bike wasn’t mine, and they quickly located the right one.

Yes, yes I did.Trying to join the Evil League of Evil, or whatever the Bad Horse-run group in “Dr. Horrible” was called.Not that I’m wild about a lady’s style bike—although I do tow grandchildren around riding my wife’s lady bike because that’s the one the trailer hitch is attached to—but I did like that rack.

Still, give up my wicked witch basket?Naw.Lets hope the looks alone win me points with those to whom I want to appear evil, like college freshmen or Bad Horse.

About Me

Associate Professor of Communication at Mount Mercy University, Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Father of 6, grandfather of 8 and counting. One son in family of 7--I have 6 sisters (but I also didn't have to wear hand-me-downs much).