Last night, I was catching up on my shamefully behind blog reading and I came across a post by the ever-hilarious Witty & Pretty. If you’re not from around these parts, Ashley Hesseltine is a local gem with a biting sense of humor, flawless fashion sense, fitness addiction and a crush on the good ole ATL. To put Ash in context, I fell in love with her blog when I saw that she posted a video of her first Brazilian waxing experience. Now THAT, people, is called having some ladyballs! She is (I think) a bit younger than I, but we are both in the phase in which many of our friends are getting engaged. (See my last post, Furbabies and Wedding Rings!)

In this particular post, @AshHess did a very tongue-in-cheek writeup about the Top 5 most annoying Facebook posts about being engaged, which in all honesty, almost made me pee myself laughing. It pokes fun at the various ways the momentous occasion is announced on Facebook, from the cheesy to the gag-worthy to the oh-no-you-didn’t!!!. Go read it.

NOTE: My bestie Nette is guilty of NONE of these – she took the high road on the good ole FB.

So there I was, snuggled up in bed with my iPad on a rainy Sunday afternoon, reading and laughing my ass off at Ash’s post. I was especially delighted by this: [Instead of these,] “I’d like to see: “Three years ago, I got wasted and slept with a dude on the first night and now we’re engaged. Ladies, there is hope.”! HA!!! I went to leave a comment but quickly became distracted by the previous sentiments left by other fine, upstanding people of the internet.* And the more comments I read, the more upset I got.

*aka, assholes.

Ashley was declared to be “bitter”, “jealous” and a “hater”, all because she wrote a lighthearted entry about the sometimes ridiculous/sappy/corny ways that emotional young ladies announce their engagements via social media. To be fair, the comments weren’t all against her – there were many in my camp who found the post laugh-worthy and refreshing. But others said that she was “sad” and that she was “sulking” about the happiness of others. One particularly awful male commenter called her “pretentious, dishonest” and even “slutty”. What the F***, people???

My personal take is to say: Writing an obviously satiric post should not open the floodgates for an insulting comment bloodbath. Why should a young, gorgeous, single blogger NOT address a topic that come ON, everyone thinks but never says!? I personally agree with those that left the comment: “Please, please, please do a post about wedding registries. Or announcing your pregnancy on Facebook!”. Because LAWD are there some crazy ones out there!

Bottom line? Ashley posted a fun, FUNNY piece. Yes, of course people are entitled to their own feelings, but no one should cast stones at someone who clearly is not being intentionally hurtful. Ashley has as much right to poke fun at the starry-eyed “he put a ring on it!!!!!!!!!!” posts as you do to call out the single girls for constantly posting selfies. And food pics. And outfit pics. And bragging about our vacations without kids. And … need I continue???

See what I did there? It’s called humor.

But as someone who is fearful of the haters, seeing the vitriol that Ashley received gave me serious anxiety. If I feel ALL OF THE FEELINGS when a fellow blogger is treated poorly, how would I feel if it were me under attack??? But this is when I must again remind myself, as The Bloggess told me:

Sigh… Haters. Just one more thing to take into consideration as I weigh the pros and cons of being completely “out” on this blog.

Or I can just put on my big girl panties and say what I damn well please. Haters are gonna hate anyway.

Like this:

14 Responses

I totally feel you. It’s like when there’s an article on CNN.com about some little boy who saved his sister and 5 dogs from drowning in the lake and there are commenters who say things like “how horrible this boy’s parents are that the sister was able to get close enough to the lake to fall in. NEGLECT. ABUSE.” Talk about missing the point. But honestly, haters are always there no matter what you write. Best to just ignore. Also, I just read Ashley’s post and now I’m cracking up at my desk and I think that this is my favorite line of any blog post ever written:

“And I can’t help but wonder if those girls will be the ones who realize 10 years down the road that their only confidante is a middle-aged man with his hands down his pants watching Sportscenter. Lord help ‘em.”

Sam, don’t even get me started on commenters of major affiliate sites. The level of intelligence truly makes me fear for the future of our society. And you’re right, the best we can do to the haters is refuse to engage them. Remind me of that the first time I’m in this situation, please?

I thought it was hilarious! And if you have nothing better to do than be all fake offended by a blogger that you probably don’t know in real life because there are actually people out there who don’t give a flying f*@k about your bridal bliss, then get a life and some new FB friends. AND I AM MARRIED so don’t pull your single hater BS on me. ok. i’m done.

That post was really funny. She totally won me over by throwing up on her keyboard and not a little in her mouth because I really hate when people say that. I prefer they commit and let it out. And on the keyboard? Come on, that’s dedication to being made ill by something.

There are only a few scenarios where I read comments because they are so often filled with ridiculousness. If I don’t have anything nice to say about a blog, I just don’t leave a comment. It really is that simple.

Michelle, see… you speak the truth. It’s simple enough to click away from something that angers you. We are taught to manage our impulse control from a wee age. Don’t hit others. Play nice in the sandbox. So what makes people believe that the internet (and realistically, it’s safety shield) is an acceptable forum for bullying and nastiness? How about, “if you wouldn’t say it to your Granny Fae, maybe you shouldn’t say it at all.”? Is that so difficult? Sheesh, people.

There are definitely trolls and nasty people patrolling the internet and real life. Unfortunately, enduring a collision with these types of people is inevitable.

That said, I think perhaps some of those commenters on this particular post may be sensitive to those ‘jokes’ due to real life scenarios? Maybe those barbed posters have been mocked or unsupported regarding happy news on social media or just in everyday life? Perhaps these people felt the sting of judgment and jealousy and did not see the post for its comical intention?

I know you posted something similar about judgment recently, too.

Sometimes jokes can be veiled meanness. Other times, a joke is a joke. It is up to the audience to decide. Sensitivity is relative.

Of course, one can close a window and walk away, or one can make a civil comment of dissent, or one can take the low road and make a nasty comment.

There is always an opposing viewpoint. I am just sad that people were so vicious.

You are correct, that there will always be someone who disagrees. But so much can be said for the character of a person in how they choose to handle the disagreement. I too, am saddened by those that took the low road. I’m certainly no saint, but I can safely say that as a blogger, I would never intentionally seek to hurt someone for their work. Lastly, Bertie – I love that you see the good in everyone and seek a less-harsh explanation. You’re a good egg. xox

Dude, I welcome comments of opposition on my blog. I tried to smooth over my ranty posts or make them so ridiculously over-the-top they couldn’t be touched (“OK, no point in rationalizing with this yeehaw…”) — but then I realized I was missing an opportunity for people to share their perspectives and for me to learn how others view the world. I’ve admired commentators who open cans of enlightenment, and do so tactfully (something I’m not the best at).

BUT OF COURSE, you have the people who are too shallow to understand satire and instead get on their soapbox or rather take things WAY too personally… and then no one’s better off. If anything, we ARE in the south and girls here are bat-sh*t CRAY CRAY when it comes to weddings. So, I commend Ashley for tackling a topic that can be pretty polarizing. Just makes me weep a little those girls who felt so strongly against her article don’t really feel that strongly towards more important things in the world… le sigh.

Hi and welcome! Oh, that is so true – the art of stating a different prerogative tactfully is difficult at best. And I agree that it’s welcomed and even encouraged. I also must admit that I cackled at “we ARE in the south and girls here are bat-sh*t CRAY CRAY when it comes to weddings.” TRUTH!!!

Crazy, right?! Especially when reading a blog is a choice. But even more of a choice is to actively decide to leave nasty, hateful comments at someone! Is it really worth that much emotional energy? Jeez.

Ugh, I never understand the motivation of haters, except that they are just miserable people who want to make others miserable. When I read a blog or a post I don’t particularly like? I just move on. Why would I leave a nasty comment? It makes me so mad when I see mean comments on someone’s blog. Like if a mommy blogger writes a funny post about her demon spawn and people tell her what an awful mother she is. Seriously people? I just like to think that they aren’t intelligent enough to understand Satire.