Man on Craigslist is offering a reward to catch the person who pooped on his Tesla

A Chicago man is angry and looking for answers after someone allegedly defecated on the windshield of his Tesla Model X.

After discovering that someone had left a rather unpleasant gift on the hood of his pricey car (the basic model will run you about $80,000), the man, Michael, posted a lengthy note on Craigslist. The note has since been flagged for removal, but luckily the Daily Mail grabbed a screenshot so Michael's rant will live on in perpetuity.

Here's how he described the scene.

I was on a date with a girl, who was very conservative. It was our third date and when we walked out, sure enough we saw that someone had taken a very large s---- on my windshield...leading me to believe that perhaps someone had s--- in a container at home and then threw it on my car later.

Michael claims the police would not help him in his quest to find the poop perp and that he had to clean the windshield himself using "a redeye magazine and a bottle of water to clean it off" which "sucked."

He also asked for anyone in the area who might have information regarding the alleged incident to come forward and that he's offering a reward.

"I am not going to mention dollar amounts here but I work in the medical community and trust me when I say the amount I have in mind will not disappoint," Michael wrote. "After all, I do own a Tesla."