Mozzarella Sticks

who’s honestly NEVER had fried mozzarella sticks. never been a fan but you can’t argue their ubiquitiousness. i was talking with a girl the other day and the sublect of anal came up which she villified and stuck her nose up at the thought.

“you see, THIS is why i miss living in europe.” i replied. i then told her about my first gf in italy.

i was living in sicily at the time and i had been with my gf for about 3 weeks. so we’d been having sex for about a week. after a nice evening sesh she was lying next to me and she said (in my best translation at the time) “do american women not like it in the other place?” i had just started trying to learn italian, so i looked at her confused and said, “like, the living room?”

she giggled, said no, and placed her hand on her ass.

“OOOOOOOOH!!!!!??? um, not really. why, do italian girls like it?”

she nodded and i made a mental note- “ok, plow the ragattaza in the pooper.” so, the next time i was busy disappointing her i went ahead and did her the favor. that’s the whole story. yeah. but i experienced the same thing in spain and my travels across europe.

back to my conversation with girl. i told her it’s funny how modern and cosmopolitan american women claim to be, but in my experience they are the most sexually repressed of all western women (on average). then, i told her that blasting a girl in the keyster isn’t a great as it’s made out to be. and thet it sensationalized by american men just because american women typically won’t do it.

“in europe, anal sex is like fried mozzarella stick in US restaurants. it’s super common. and once you’ve had them, they really aren’t worth any hoop-lah. then i told her about a VERY awkward conversation i had with Sonia and my boy’s gf. i had to translate for sonia as she interogated the american lass as to why she’s so averse to anal. i realized i was in the girls locker room for a moment. i knew ordinarily i would NEVER have access to this talk. and sonia was brutal.

s- “i don’t understand why you wouldn’t want to make your man happy.”

aw- “it’s just not something i’m into.”

s- “have you even tried it.”

aw- “no.”

s- “so how do you know you don’t like it.”

aw- “i hear it’s painful.”

s- it hurt the first time you have regular sex, righ? then it feels good.”

aw- “i’m not really comfortable talking about this anymore.”

s- “why, because you can’t defend your postion?”

yeah. italian italian girls are NO JOKE when they argue. they go for the throat. i was actually getting uncomfortable after a while. but she made a VERY good argument. but here’s what most guys and women don’t get about doing her in the butt- it’s not really all that great, the vag feels MUCH better. it’s just over hyped as far as i’m concerned. i mean, if you want fried mozzarella sticks, that’s on you.

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22 Comments on “Mozzarella Sticks”

Hey, Danny, have you always preferred the darker, latin type, or did it grow on you?

Reason I ask is that when I was younger, I was always into the blond hair, blue eyes thing, but over the years I have found brunettes, particularly with a Mediterranean look, to be more and more appealing instead. Not sure why…

Given your culinary skills, the headline for this post at first made me think that you had come up with the perfect mozzarella stick recipe that turned out to be a panty-dropper. Au contraire. As for anal sex, there is no ambivalence among females, in my experience. They either love it or hate it. I’ve only done it a couple of times and a girl has to have a fine ass for me to think about tapping it. My standards for blow jobs, on the other hand, can be alarming low at times.

Ehhhh. I tried a good four times, lots of lube, even got drunk. Was still a no-go. Just hurts too much, even bleeds. I think I got points for trying, just not something I can really do. I guess some girls even orgasm from it, just not in my cards. Was a good sport at least.