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As Commissioner of the Heads Up Challenge, I have admittedly been ignoring my duties. After realizing that I was not to advance to the second round, and in fact held the last place position after round one, I put the HUC at the back of my priority list. I liken it to my habit of closing an SNG window as soon as I lose. Even if I'm playing with the HUC crew, I still can't get myself to stay put and watch them play. I might return in 10 minutes or so, but immediately I want to purge myself of my apparent failure.

When the HUC Preliminaries (aka Round 1) ended, several of the players were tied for the third and fourth Semifinals (aka Round 2) slots. GCox and SteelerJosh were a lock for Round 2, with a record of 5-2. Mourn, TripJax and DNasty were all tied at 4-3. Me (1-6), WillWonka (2-5), and DoubleAs (3-4) were out the door. [Note: At least I'm in good company].

As a result, DNasty, Mourn, and Trip are going to have to enter SUDDEN DEATH! All players will face off: D v. M, D v. T, M v. T. If all players end with a 1-1 record, we'll start all over again. However, if one player gets 2-0, we have ourselves the third Semifinalist. Between the other two, one will necessarily have a 0-2 record, and the other will have a 1-1 record. The 1-1 is our fourth Semifinalist.

The Semifinals will consist of all players playing a best of three match against the other semifinalists. If GCox beats Steel in two matches right away, then GCox gets a win, for a 1-0 record (and not a 2-1 or 2-0). Steel, obviously, gets a 0-1. GCox, as all semifinalists, will have to repeat the best of three set against the Semifinalist 3 and 4. In the end, challengers will have a Semifinal score of 0-3, 1-2, 2-1, or 3-0. If more than one player ties, we will go to the players' Preliminary win/loss record. If this is tied as well...SUDDEN DEATH!!

Once Semifinals are done, we will have our Grand Finale! The Finals will be pre-announced, with a set date and time for all you railbirds. The players will be locked in a no-holds-barred Heads-Up poker battle to rival all others. Stay tuned!

Your Commissioner,Jordan

On the individual poker front, I may not have much time to play tonight. Maybe when fiance Kim is asleep, I can cram in some 2/4. Tomorrow, I am hoping to host a smaller homegame. Roose and Hole are in, as are Hafeley and Katzner. We need one more for a good game, and three more for a solid game. Cross your fingers for me. If you are interested in playing and are in the NYC area, the game is .25/.50 NLHE, with a $20 max buy-in and $40 max rebuy. Contact me by leaving a comment or emailing me directly.

Well, the heading isn't exactly right. I'm not really pissed off. But if you look a bit closer, you'll see that the capital letters are: PSO.

Look, people. I am the world's seventh greatest poker blogger. This is an undisputed fact. According to the wonderful people at BlogsOnPoker.com, their "most popular blogs" section is based on the amount of people clicking on my links on their page. Now, I might be beating this into the ground, but this is a BIG deal for me. I do not see myself as a force in the poker blogging community. But this is a sign that I do have a modicum of popularity or at least readability. This blog was originally for me, so that I could work out my poker thoughts. But it has developed into something more. It is a source of pride for me, and it has been a way to open up to a new community of people.

Now, why am I pissed off? Because why is the 7th greatest poker blogger of all time getting no love from his readers? GCox recently mentioned that he has 10 people who signed up on PSO through him. I have zero! Granted, he started sooner, but since I've started, none of my friends or readers have taken the plunge. I sound like a petulant child, I know. Well, baby needs his baba, and that baba ain't a bottle (unless it's Grey Goose). My baba is a iPod. How can I not have one of these. On the subway to work, I saw a 13 year old Latina girl, a 86 year old Greek man, a 30 something Black guy, and a two ageless homeless people rocking out to thier iPods. Homeless people! I also passed about 16 ads, on buses, buildings and elsewhere, informing me that if I get an iPod, I too will have a cool colored background, a rocking sillouetted body, and some dance skills! I'll say it again: how can I not have an iPod!

I won't leave it up to you, fair readers. I am very grateful that you waste your time reading my drivel, complete with mispelled words used in the wrong context (my SAT-tutor mother would kill me!). I am going to transfer some money out of Noble and move to a new PSO promotion to receive the 6000 PSO points. This should take 2 days or so (Noble is slow with Neteller withdrawals), at which point I will attempt to earn the 6000 PSO points at three different sites. That will leave me with 18,000 PSO points, mathemagicians! But, with the iPod costing 21,500 points, I could sincerely use your help. Please, if you find my blog worthy, are a fan of the 7th greatest poker blogger in the universe, want to make money and win additional prizes through PSO, or need a charity tax write-off, sign up at Poker Source Online through referral code HighOnPoker.

If you are signing up for PSO through referral code HighOnPoker, I offer a few suggestions. Sign up for Bodog, as the site starts you with 50 Bodog points, and you only need to earn an additional 150 for their promotion. I’ve done this and it was very easy. If not Bodog, try Absolute Poker. The bonus is easy, but I suggest you start at the 1/2 limit or higher, since the bonus is based on hands with a 25 rake. Here’s another tip to getting yours from Absolute: sit in a full table 1/2 room (or higher), and only play premium hands while you play your usual game. I suggest this because Absolute counts ANY HANDS are your table that covers the rake requirement, even if you DID NOT PUT A DIME into the pot! So, I three-tabled, with my usual 6-person table, and two 9 or 10-person tables. Ingenuity at its best.

I will be starting my bonus whoring at PokerRewards, unless someone has another suggestion. For that matter, any suggestions regarding the PokerRewards bonus would be helpful, such as soft games or tricks like the Absolute Poker trick I mentioned above. I have already completed Bodog and Absolute via PSO, and I already had accounts on Golden Palace, Full Tilt, Empire, PokerRoom, and Party, so those sites are off limits (although I’m thinking of opening new accounts at Party and PokerRoom).

There you have it. I have a plan, but I’d like your help. If you can find it in your hearts to help a blogger on his iQuest of an iFree iPod, please sign up at Poker Source Online with referral code HighOnPoker. And you can pop my affiliation code cherry! (I will also pimp your blog or whatever else you’d like, if that will entice anyone).

Last night, I was able to play two rounds of poker. The first round went well. I played some 2/4 while fiance Kim did whatever it is that she does right after we returned home from our favorite Mexican restaurant, Baby Bo's. The session was definitely in the hit-and-run category. When it was all said and done, I was up to $475, nearing my $500 neo-August goal.

The second session, on the other hand...I signed on around 10:30 or so, and found GCox online. He was just starting up Noble, so we decided to play in a room together. He left the choice up to me, so I stuck with 2/4. I don't have much in the way of details. When it was all said and done, I gave away about $30+. It was fast and furious, and mostly due to poor hand selection. I think I was also tryin to show off in front of GCox. In one ill-fated hand, G was on the button and I was the SB with the hammer. We re-raise each other pre-flop until its capped. The flop is AQJ. I think I bet, he raised, and I folded. It was worth a stab, or so I thought. As it turns out, GCox had no intention of folding his pockets Aces! Nice timing, hammer!

After the 2/4 table broke, GCox and I decided to play some .25/.50 NL. I was just giving my money away. After 4 hands, and -$18 or so, I closed the window fiercely. I shot an IM to G: "I'm done for the night. Can't tilt anymore." I was, in fact, on tilt. I could feel it running through my veins, and directing my loose and weak action. What to do when on tilt? Run and hide. Better to live another day, or something like that.

All in all, I think I am down to $430 ish. This isn't catestrophic, and I look forward to playing tonight, when I return from dinner with an ex-coworker to an empty home. Fiance Kim will be in the Long Island suburbs getting her wedding dress fitted, so I'll have the time and ability to concentrate for about an hour or so, if all goes well.

Thursday is a game at Hole's Poker Emporium. Hole's homegame has become my new hot-spot for the live game fix. I tried throwing two homegames recently, but all to no avail. This is much easier. Unfortunately, Hole's games are often slowed down by the namesake and distractions. Also, I have not playing my best poker there, generally. But this shall change and victory will be mine.

No one is in my office yet, and I've been here for 40 minutes. Looks like I'll have to change my schedule in the future.

When I was younger, a popular saying in my household was, “Change is hard.” This is coupled with the general proposition that I and others in my family don’t deal with change well. “Change is hard.” This line has been used in a slew of settings. I lose my first girlfriend and 20 lbs. due to a loss of appetite. “Change is hard, Jordan.” My brother goes to college and is having trouble adjusting. “Change is hard, Keith.” My dog passes away and my mother is heart-broken. “Change is hard, Ma.”

Change IS hard. It’s hard for me at least. Here I am in my new office, dealing with enough changes to shake up anybody’s world. You’ve heard it before. New job, wedding coming up, new apartment. New new new. And all changes from what I am used to.

Work has been very difficult for me. It’s not the day to day stuff. Sometimes I leave here and I think, “I really like what I’m doing.” But Sunday night, preparing mentally for the week ahead, I can’t help but feel a sense of dread. The law that I am working on is new. The environment is different then the old firm. The expectations of me are higher than they used to be. These are all things I can surmount. I know this. But it doesn’t made the struggle any less tough.

Breathe.

Ah.

So, poker stuff. I won $20 today while sitting on my ass. To be more accurate, I received $20 from my $60 deposit bonus from Noble. In total, I’ve received $30 of the $60. I’m almost dreading when I’ve received the entire $60, because, frankly, I like the idea of earning bonuses. I know they will probably have a reload bonus in September, so I need to withdraw some Noble money back to Neteller so that I can reload it back into Noble when the time is right. I should probably also consider signing up at another site through PSO, but I’ve grown very comfortable at Noble. Also, I seem to lose everywhere else. One reason to diversify sites is to spend more time playing with the Heads-Up Challenge bloggers. I cannot express how much more fun poker is when you have your friends with you online. It’s the 2nd best thing about this blog, behind being ranked 7th Most Popular Poker Blog! (Have I run this into the ground yet?) Of course, the 3rd best thing are the women. Love those bloggergroupies.

I'm dealing with some obstacles, but I've circumvented them to get to a very warm and successful place. The major obstacle has been my computers. I have three computers in my apartment. One is my desktop, another is fiance Kim's laptop, and the third is my old lawschool laptop, which may as well be a rotary computer (and for you kids out there, rotary refers to the oldskool phones with the rotating dial used to...well, dial). Man, I could bitch and moan about the computer scenario for a day and a half, but I'd rather just get to the bottom line. Both my desktop and my laptop are unable to get Internet via their wireless cards OR the LAN line. I don't know who I have to sleep with to get my computers fixed, but I'm all prettied up and ready to go!

As a result, I hooked up my old laptop, and surprisingly got a connection. I spent a while on the phone with Dell and RCN (my ISP), and neither could help me. Tomorrow, I'll drop my laptop off at a repair place, where they will charge me $75 for the first hour, and $30 each additional half hour. If the ads I've seen on the TV are any indication, I should probably just buy a new computer. I think I found out who I'm going to have to sleep with, and it's a computer nerd making $75 an hour. God damn!

But wait! The name of this post is obstacles overcome, right? Right! I'm glad you are paying attention. You see, now that I have the Internet running, I've been playing poker. What a surprise, right? I lost about $40 on Sunday, but since then I've been riding STRONG. I reached $375 earlier tonight, and took a break. When I returned, I realized that I was ready for the $2/4 tables, according to the Limit Challenge framework. I played about 4 hands at a severely short-handed table (3-4 people), and I was down $26! Damn, these 2/4 sharks are tough! Or so I thought. I came back, and just finished up $55. With $430 on Noble, I've reached my August goal, and now am fighting for the illustrious $500 mark. At this rate, I'll pay for the computer repair, um, I mean new TV, in no time.

That's it for now. Fiance Kim wants to use the comp, and since this is the only one with Internet...well, let's share, shall we.

I originally had hoped for a home game at the 5-Diamond (i.e., my apartment) tonight, since fiance Kim was other busy doing some wedding stuff. Unfortunately, a lack of responses caused the game to fold. As a backup, Robbie Hole and I planned on hanging out. This, too, fell through, as something came up in casa del Hole. No harm done though. Before this occurred, Hole and I scoured our collective social circles for any chance at some hot poker action. No such luck. At one point, we floated the idea of driving 3 hrs to AC and back, but reality got the better of us. I found a Poker Home Game site through Stabby McFoldsalot, but in the end, I've decided to hold off a bit before contacting strangers. I also thought about checking out a NYC illegal card room, but once again, I have to pace my poker-loving self.

So, without Rob or a 5-Diamond game, I realistically could make some phone calls and do the usual bar thing with the guys. However, after my first week at a new job with newer, longer hours, I'm beat, and looking forward to a night of peace and quiet. My plan is to finish out the day here (it's 5:30pm) once I finish summarizing some medical records. This has taken up most of my day, but since I have nothing to rush to, I want to finish it before I leave. Then, I'll order some Chexican delivery (Mexican food made surprisingly well by Chinese people), and settle in for some MTT action. Fiance Kim has been busy on the only Internet-ready computer lately, so my online poker intake is light. I'm just below the $370 I need to move up to $2/4 limit, according to the Limit Challenge Structure, so if I can beat that, I'm moving on up into respectable waters. After all, I was playing 2/4 at AC for 8 hrs straight, so playing those stakes online (as opposed to my baby stakes) is an accomplishment for me. Separately, I have bootleg copies of Aviator, Million Dollar Baby, and The 40-Year Old Virgin, in case the poker needs a break. Who are we kidding. I ain't doing nothing but poker.

If you are going to be playing online tonight at Noble Poker, shoot me an IM. My AOL IM screenname is BrodyBanky. I'd love to meet up with some fellow bloggers or readers in an SNG, ring game or MTT.

Last night, I left work at 6:30pm and headed straight to dinner for my brother Keith's fiance's birthday. We ended up at Bistango, and Italian restaurant at 29th and 3rd, which is across the street from my old apartment. The food was fantastic, and the service even better. The top dog, Anthony, owner and manager, has always been nothing but kind and SINCERE. Sincerity is a rare trait, so my hat is off to him and his array of delicious food.

Where was I? Oh, then we went to Maker's, a dive of a bar that is also across from my old apartment. Good times had by all. By the time I got home, it was 10:30pm, and I covertly hopped online. "Don't start a game," I heard from the other room. Grumble. I haven't been able to play as much as I'm used to for a while now, thanks to my Internet connection problems and fiance Kim's uber-wedding mode. She can sit on the computer for 3 hrs editing a two page program for the ceremony. God bless her, because she is doing a great job, but all work and no poker, makes blah bee blah blah blah.

Of course, I scouted the situation. Fiance Kim was in the bathroom, door open, working on something or other that involves intense staring at close distance from a mirror. "How long will you be?" I asked, hoping for a clean 10 min. "5 minutes or so." Done! In fiance Kim speak (heck, in any chick speak) 5 minutes is roughly 15.

I immediately go through my online poker setup. AIM, check. Noble Poker, check. Internet Explorer, check. They all loaded up and I was ready to play. As soon as AIM was up and running, I received a chat invitation from none other than DNasty himself. DNasty whooped me something good a couple of days ago in the Heads-Up Challenge. I congratulated him again, with utmost sincerity. I must admit, it was the best matchup I've had so far. We chatted a bit, with random comments from DoubleAs. By way of update, Steeler lost to DoubleAs, and DNasty beat him (I think that is right). The HUC has been a success overall (except for my 8th seat standing), and for that I'm proud. Anyone interested in the next HUC should get comfortable. This one should end in about 2-3 weeks, and I can't imagine starting another for months...not to say I don't want to.

Ah, so here we go. After some light chat, I sat at two $1/2 tables. My Noble bankroll has been steadily, but slowly climbing. My goal is to reach $400 by August 31, and I'm now at $367, a $27 uptick thanks to my stick and move technique. In all honesty, it's more out of necessity than technique. With everything going on, I'm usually only able to play for about 15-20 minutes lately. Fortunately, in that short span of time, I've been hitting hands and then booking the hell out of there. Thank god for loose players. I can't say my play has been exceptional. But when you hold KK, and the board is J high, AND two players call you down, one with top pair but a shit kicker and the other with middle pair and an unsuited Ace kicker, you really don't have to do much. Even so, hand selection has remained key. I could just as likely be getting crappy hands over 15 minutes and leave a loser. However, if I have good hand selection, I'm liable to be down $5 after running cold, instead of $15 after playing loose. Hand selection folks. It can make or break your game.

This is a rambling post, so excuse the lack of cohesiveness, insight, or, for that matter, anything of interest.

My home game is busted for tonight. I only had two responses. Mental note: Not homegames on Fridays. It's great for me because fiance Kim will be on Long Island tonight, but usually most of the guys are busy with their girlfriends and such. I can't blame them, as the mostly don't live with their girls and some of them only see them on weekends. That said, Robbie Hole's joy, Joy, is away or something, so Hole and I will be prowling the streets. Did someone say, "illegal card room?" Oh, I guess not. Turns out they said, "A seagull's hard doom." But even so, Aquarium is a possibility. I haven't been there yet, but now is as good a time as any.

In other weird news, my 5 lawyer firm has 4 people out of the office today. Do the math. DO IT. Now you see...I'm the only lawyer left. So, in my first week as an attorney at the new firm, I'm in charge! I plan on making the secretaries do a cheerleader pyramid later. I love abusing what little power I have. Unfortunately, with only two secretaries, the pyramid won't be much to look at. Brain storm coming....I get to be the peak!

Blah blah blah. Sorry I wasted your time with this posting. At least you didn't waste your time with "productivity!" Productivity is -EV.

As the Commissioner of the Heads Up Challenge, it is with a heavy heart that I must state that this challenge sucks! I’m already out of the running for round 2, after DNasty made a comeback and a stunning suckout defeat. I can’t blame him for the suckout, as I made two suckouts earlier in the 100+ hand matchup. The final hand saw me pushing pre-flop after his raise. I held Ah2h. He held Ks9c. The flop came down with three spades and an Ace. The turn was an Ace, giving me three of a kind. The river was a spade, and I go home crying.

The Challenge has been especially challenging to me because of some horrible play in my first four matches. Some was due to suckouts, but the truth of the matter is, I played those first four matches one after another while on namesake. I like namesake, no doubt, but it doesn’t help my poker game, and it wrecks my heads-up game. I mean totally wrecks it. I promised myself before the challenge that I would only play when I’m in top condition, without distractions or intoxicants. No such luck there, as I missed the first couple of days while in A.C. Consequently, when I was on namesake and itching to go, I didn’t think twice about playing those first four matches. If I could do anything over again, it would be to avoid that scenario.

Que sera, right? I still have one match against SteelerJosh. He and I are on a smack-talk buildup, so it should be an interesting match. One of the great things about the HUC is that even when you essentially out of the tournament, you still have impetus to play future matches. Being the steaming soar loser that I am (in poker only, interestingly), I would be prone to say, Screw it, and let Steel take a win. However, since there necessarily will be $5 on the line, I see it as an opportunity to win $5 and humiliate Josh with my expert play. See? Much better.

In other poker news, I’ve earned my first $10 bonus (of 6 coming) from Noble. I played for about 10 minutes of $1/2 last night and won about $10 thanks to an AQ which hit and A on the flop. It was a 10-person table, and I was in EP/MP, but I bet, even though I was scared that one of the 4-5 limpers had AK or Ax with two pair. The turn was a blank and I bet out again. I had about 2 callers. Finally the river came, and it was no help. I thought I was screwed so I checked. Monsters under the bed, folks. One guy had 77 and the other had J7, for an inside straight draw on the flop! I quickly typed in the players’ notes, “Loose” (77) and “Retarded” (J7). Those accurate descriptions will hopefully pay dividends in the future. My Noble bankroll is at $350, so I’m inching toward that $400 goal (hopefully by the end of August).

On the computer front, my desktop won’t recognize it’s Ethernet card anymore, and my wireless router won’t work either. I put in an order at J&R Music and Computer World, and expect a new Ethernet card and wireless router in a matter of days, all for less than $50. Not too shabby. Here’s crossing my fingers.

For whatever reason, I could not get onto Noble Poker last night. It was driving me up the wall. I decided to play some .25/.50 NL on UB, the only other site where I have money. I can't use that site anymore, because I lost my $10 buy-in, which was admittedly too small to sit with. I still have about $11 on UB, but I plan on using that for my Heads Up Challenge matches against SteelerJosh and DNasty. I formally challenge Steeler yesterday for a 9pm matchup, but he no-showed. Chickenshit. I won't let you off that easily.

I decided to hook up my wireless router, which mysteriously stopped working right before my move about 3 weeks ago. Well, the wireless router just doesn't work, so I'm going to have to bite the bullet and buy a new one. I hate spending money.

To complicate things further, I was unable to get my Internet to work, once I re-hooked it up to the desktop computer. It's still not working, but I set up my laptop to the cable modem, so I do have Internet, thankfully. It just sucks that I have no idea why my desktop isn't connecting to the Internet. The problem with computers is, there are so many opportunities for problems. If it was a calculator, it would work fine, but the more complicated things get (in general), the more opportunities for errors or malfunctions. That's why no computer I've ever owned worked without a glitch for more than a year. Once that year rolls around, the font gets screwy in Internet Explorer, or popups appear whenever I start up, telling me that the computer cannot find Program X, a program I've never used or knew of before the notification.

Onto other things, the new job is going well. The firm is a lot smaller than I expected, with only 5 attorneys, soon to be 6. The rest of the floor is owned by the firm, but subletted to other attorneys or professionals. The fun part is figuring who works for who. I didn't get an especially detailed orientation, but I'm used to learning on the job. Now, I just have to keep up my long(er) hours (8am to 6:30pm) for the time being, until I can settle into a routine. It's been doable, but I am a man of leisure. In the end, I know that this conditioning is good for me.

In homage to plagiarism (but moreso to inspiration), I am going to use DoubleAs’ recent posting as the framework for this installment of You Decide. DoubleAs asked his readers what they think about this hand:

$10/25 NLHE, at a 10-person table (you can already tell that this hand didn’t involve me). EP raises to $85. MP calls. You call in the cutoff (what is the cutoff?), with QsJs. The button calls. Blinds fold.

The flop is Tc9c8h.

EP and MP check. What do you do?

Me, I’d raise all in OR three times the pot if I have more than 6x the pot in my stack. My reasoning is that by overbetting you could induce the right kinds of calls (for you, not them).

Follow me for a moment. You DO NOT want to give a free card, because you are inviting a flush to take your pot. So, it’s a given that you are betting. You want to bet an amount that will either win it right out, or induce the right kind of calls (those that are advantageous to you). I figure that there are only a few groups of people who would call any significant bet here.

Let’s start from the bottom, and work our way up. If your opponent holds an overpair (AA, or KK, most likely), then they may take your ridiculous raise as a semi-bluff steal, a full-blown steal, or a scared top pair pushing out the competition. In any case, this may look like a good time for them to call your ass and/or raise. Either way, you have the current nuts, so you want them to call/raise. The other possibility is that they fold, which is a shame, but at least you’ve won $340 ($85 times 4).

The same is true for players holding two-pair or three of a kind. These players may see your move as a desperate steal, and call or raise. If they do, they have outs, but they are paying the wrong pot odds to call. As we all know from reading Sklansky, you are winning even if you lose to their full house, because they are making the wrong decision. It might not feel that way at the time, but variance will catch up with him, and hopefully you’ll be in the hand when it does.

Now, you REALLY don’t want a call from someone with a flush draw. I say this because, at this point, they are a little less than 50% to

This is my first time posting a blog via Email. Let's hope this works. I didn't play any poker last night, but managed to squeeze in about an hour of play in the morning/afternoon for a $25+ run at 1/2. I had an especially good time tilting players. I sucked out on one guy on a couple of occasions, which set him up for some smack talk. At another table, the player was horrible, but still insisted that it was my luck that I was hitting draws or catching cards when the appropriate pot odds were present. That's fine with me. I took his "lucky" comment, and grew it from a seedling of despair to a full-on tilt flower. You can call me Gardener Jordan, because that was pretty much my MO yesterday. I cultivated tilt through clever rapport with unsuspecting ATMs. One of my favorite lines, which came in handy at both tables, is "Should I get you a tissue?" (Wait for a few seconds...) "Or a tampon?" That'll show them for boo hoo-ing.

This is what I love about poker. The mental aspect of it all. Winning is nice too.

I'm looking forward to meeting up for a Heads Up match against Steeler (and hopefully, DNasty) in the next couple of days. I've come to bring the pain, as a warning.

My online bankroll is at $325 or so, which is nice. I'd like to be at $400 by the end of August. It's a modest goal, but right now I can't even promise that I'll get there.

Quick note: Noble Poker has a 60% Reload bonus, so I deposited an additional $100 there. I'm working off the bonus at limit tables, following the Limit Challenge guidelines (see sidebar for link).

If you are interested in Noble or any other online casino, go to PokerSourceOnline.com, and use referral code HighOnPoker. Or, if you prefer, use referral code TripJax or GCox25, where you get a free tampon with you bonus. Hahaha. Smack talk at its best.

I’ve finally won a Heads Up Challenge match. It was against TripJax, one of the players who are essentially a lock for Round 2. I wish I could say the same for myself. I’ve been running through some scenarios, and if I win my two remaining matches against SteelerJosh and Dnasty, I have a chance of making it into Round 2. Of course, for this to happen, I need the planets to align. To get an idea of how much I’ve thought of this, the ideal scenario would be as follows:

If all goes according to plan, Wonka, Mourn, DNasty, Steeler, and DoubleAs will all have 3-4 records (as will I). So, it is possible, although not terribly likely. In the end, there is room for some variation from the ideal scenario, but no room on my part. I HAVE TO win my matches. For this reason, I will only play when conditions are optimal.

Today, I have a BBQ and a wedding at night. Tomorrow, I’m off to the beach (assuming nice weather). So, it will be a light weekend for poker. I start my new job on Monday, which is a bit bewildering. However, I’m just going to go in there and eradiate confidence. After all, 90% of everything is confidence. If you sound like you know what you are talking about, everyone will assume that you do know what you are talking about.

Hole's game was a great success tonight. I was down two buy-ins, and had bought for a third $20 at one point in the night. Thanks to the last hand (and practically solely the last hand), I turned a $21 profit on the night.

The game started very shorthanded. Being the industrious addicts that we are, Robbie Hole, Randle, Roose and I played mixed games, a first for my group of players. I explained basic 7-stud. We moved onto Omaha Limit. Then we played 7-stud Hi/Lo, Omaha H/L, Pot Limit Omaha, Razz, and Crazy Pineapple. With the exception of Crazy Pineapple and Omaha Limit, I wasn't doing much of anything with my cards. I've been cold-decked again. Variance is mine enemy.

Finally, three other players showed up, and we settled into .25/.50 NLHE. This is where I lost my 2nd buy-in. I eventually won some hands, and worked up to about -$20 on the night, when Hole called the last hand of the evening. This conveniently brings us to this most recent installment of:

You Decide #14We were four-handed. The button was Hole. Roose was SB. Loose-player Scotty was BB. I was first to act. I had QhKh. I raised to $1.50. Hole called. Roose folded. Scotty bet $3. I called. Rob called. The flop was TcJh3h. I held a 2nd nut flush draw and an open-ended straight draw. I also assumed I had 2 overs to anyone who was willing to make a stand. Scotty bet $3. I raised to $6. Rob called. Scotty re-raised all-in for $12, more. I called. Scotty had Th7h, for a flush draw (lower than mine) and middle pair. The turn was a 7c, ruining my overcards by giving Scotty two-pair. The river was an Ac. It took us a second, and then we realized, I hit my straight.

Did I have the odds? Did I play incorrectly anywhere along the way? Obviously it worked out, but at the end there, it was looking pretty grim.

That's it for tonight. Not working is messing with my routine, and I haven't been keeping up enough on blogs or the HUC as much as I should. All in due time, I suppose.

Last night, I was slaughtered in the Heads-Up Challenge. 0 for 4, baby! Losses to GCox, DoubleAs, WillWonka, and Mourn. Some of the losses were due to poor play on my part. Some were due to some terrible luck. For instance, against Mourn, I held A3 and flopped A33. Mourn held AA. Against DoubleAs, I held AK, and flopped 2A7. DoubleAs held the hammer!

So, I'm pretty much out of contention. DoubleAs half-jokingly floated the idea of making the first round best 2/3 per heads up match. I agreed with the basic concept (before my 4 losses, no less). However, I can't justify changing the rules that drastically, especially now that I'm 0 for 4. Maybe next time, or by unanimous consent.

I have to avoid chases losses. I usually feel like going for another round, but I know I would have been better off if I waited a day between losses. Que sera.

I am stopping by my new firm today. I'm a bit nervous, but I know nerves won't do me any good. I have to remember that confidence is 90% of everything.

Okay, I've finally pimped myself out to an online poker site, kinda. If you are interested in playing poker and earning free prizes, like a poker table top, Copag cards, or gift certificates, go to PokerSourceOnline.com, and sign up. I personally have earned the poker table top, which was easy to earn by playing on Bodog through PSO. I also suggest signing up at Noble and Absolute through PSO for easy bonuses. The beautiful thing about PSO is, you get the bonus offered by the sites AS WELL AS the bonus prize from PSO. There really is no reason to sign up directly when you can get these PSO bonuses for free. I'm currently awaiting verification that I finished the Absolute Poker bonus, which will earn me a free copy of Poker Tracker software, highly recommended.

So, when you sign up at PSO, and it says "Referred by:" enter HighOnPoker. I'll earn PSO points for your hard work! The pyramid scheme continues!

I can't wait to play in the Heads Up Challenge! Stay tuned, as I plan to have my first match tonight.

Heads Up ChallengeWow! This thing has taken off. Remember to check out the new Heads Up Challenge blog, which is a running scorecard of the Challenge. So far, several matches have occurred, including GCox v. TripJax, GCox v. DoubleAs, GC v. WillWonka, TJ v. DA, TJ v. WW, and WW v. DA. Ooooh weeee! I’m aching to get in there. The best record so far belongs to TripJax, followed by GCox, DoubleAs and Will. The challenge is still early though, and maybe experience in Challenges have helped the two SNG Challenge alum.

Atlantic CityI will never be able to type all of the things in my head. I will try to give a chronological account, and gloss over a lot of the details. My apologies beforehand.

Roose called me up at 9am on Monday. We agreed that he would call me at 10 and pick me up at 10:30am, but he couldn’t sleep from all of the excitement. As a result, I rushed into the shower, ran some last minute errands for fiancé Kim, and met Roose outside of my apartment in 30 minutes. We were 45 minutes away from my apartment when Roose asked me if I brought the namesake. I had prepared some prior to the trip, and had the Altoid box ready to go (a must have for any namesake partaker). Unfortunately, in all of the rush, I forgot to pack it. This didn’t phase me much. I like namesake, but I LOVE poker, and I knew that would me my major vice this trip. Roose, however, didn’t feel the same way. We’ll get to more on this later.

We arrived at the Tropicana Hotel within 2hrs and 15mins. This is record time from NYC. I clicked into casino speed (the natural, faster pace that I walk whenever in a casino), and hustled to check-in. We had about an hour to wait, and what do we do when we wait in a casino, boys and girls? Roulette of course. Roose was riding hot. In a short while, he was up $260! His numbers were coming, and his cluster bomb technique really impressed. Basically, he placed one or two chips on a given number, and then straddled that number and each of its neighbors. In the end, it looks like a cluster of chips all surrounding black 29, or red 3, or whatever. I didn’t have his luck though, and lost $50. This was the beginning of a slippery slope.

Check-in shall be known as the Roose Debacle #1. Roose likes some namesake with his gambling. At the end of the night, it can take some of the adrenaline edge off. So, when a charming young black lady was getting us our room keys, Roose leaned in and said, “Can I ask you a question?” She didn’t respond, and he asked again. I said to Roose in a full voice, “She’s not listening to you. The answer is no.” He waited a few seconds and asked again. Still nothing. That is when we realized that that the Trop must have invented a way to block sound from passing through normal air. We were within arm’s length of this woman and she wouldn’t acknowledge a word we said. Theory number two is that she was deaf, and could only respond when looking at our lips, as she was typing away on the computer when Dave asked his questions. Which begs another unanswered mystery: Why do hotel check-in people type a novel just to check you in?

Finally, the check-in lady looked up. Roose took the initiative, leaning in close. “Do you smoke?” She looked at him quizzically. He hinted a little further, but then I realized it was time to abort the mission. “Thanks for the keys. Excuse my friend.” I pulled him away. This is not how you score drugs in AC.

After check-in, Roose and I went to our new home base. The rooms at Trop are nice, and frankly, I don’t need much more than a bed, a door with a lock, and a toilet. As it turns out, we didn’t even need the showers. Roose and I don’t like to shower when we gamble. It makes us feel…clean.

We were in that room for less than 10 minutes before we decided to explore. We were starving by this point, and headed to Trop’s new building, with its Havana theme. It’s a nice set up, and we noticed that Batman Begins was playing on an Imax screen there. Being a closeted comic book fan, I told Roose we should see it. He agreed, and we tentatively agreed to catch the 10:15pm showing, if we were done with the 7:15pm tourney by then. We’ll get back to that in a moment.

We ended eating at Carmine’s, an Italian restaurant that has several locations. It isn’t quite a chain, ala Friday’s. It’s better quality and held in higher regards. The Trop must’ve included it in their new Havana section of the hotel because it lends an aire of NYC. Of course, two boys from NYC go to South NJ to eat at a NYC restaurant. We had a ridiculous portion of calamari and shared a hot Italian hero, with a couple of beers to wash it down. Because of our impatience, we sat at the bar, and made friends with the white, farmboy-looking bartender. Roose Debacle #2 began. “Hey man, do you know where we can get some pot?” The kid looked simultaneously surprised and scared. “Um, not really, sorry.” He looked ready to move to the other side of the bar. “No problem, man. We just forgot ours at home.” Thanks Dave, for confirming our illicit activities. This, however, did work a bit, as the farmboy offered some advice. “I guess you can get on the street. Try New York Avenue.” So, now Roose is going to take me trolling the back alleys of AC looking for pot? What the hell is going on here? I knew, fortunately, that Roose would not want to go to far from the bright lights of the casino. So we finished our meal, with the bartended noticeably scarce, tipped big, and headed out.

Finally, Roose and I enter the poker room. We decide to sit for some 2/4 limit. This is baby stakes, I know. But I figured we could stretch our bankrolls and play for fun. We were at a table with a group of 3 people (one male, two female) who were just about colluding. Please let me know what you think, as this drove me nuts. If the husband and wife were in a hand with other players, they played regularly. If it came down to just them, post-flop or otherwise, they’d check it down, even with monster hands. It was pissing me off, but the ladies of the group sucked at poker, so I was biding my time. One women, who looked like a cracked out, red-headed Big Bird, kept reaching for her chips as soon as the flop came out. I wonder if she hit it? Sure enough, I used their tells and overall suckiness to eke out a $17 win. He did suffer a terrible suckout from Big Bird, and couldn’t recover. We left when the table broke. Seemed about time, and we headed upstairs. I think Roose was close to even, if not up a little bit as well. After relaxing for 10 minutes, we re-entered the poker room at 5:15pm and signed up for the 7:15pm $20 Rebuy/Add-on Tournament.To kill time before the tournament, Roose and I decided to try for some craps, but saw that the tables were crowded and high-stakes. So, we left the casino to try friendlier waters at the nearby Hilton. Being the North-most casino on the Boardwalk, I knew it would have less people and lower limits. We settled into $10 min Craps, and Dave was out $100 in no time. He was still playing with Trop’s Roulette money, but he stormed off nevertheless. I played some more and was a little down. When Dave returned he had won $80 or so from blackjack. He and I then proceeded to drop the rest of my $100 buy in and his $80 winnings. On the way out, Roose, who is known to do this, put all of his remaining $100 on black at the Roulette wheel. He lost. I followed suit and split my $50 onto two different spots, Even and 1st Third. Number 33 came out, and we left. I lost $100 in Roulette, and $100 in Craps.

We returned to the Trop for the tourney and took our seats. I’ll tell you now that we both lost. I rebought right away, as is customary. Before the first hand was dealt, I had sunken $50 into the tournament. My table had one guy who was a real loser. I mean, he just didn’t understand how to play, betting and being called down with AK, and getting pissed because the BB hit his top pair Q, and he didn’t hit his A or K. He was ridiculous. As I was in the 3 seat and he was in 7, across the way, seat 1, 2 and I had a great time talking shit about the ATM. We were all waiting for our turn. He must have rebought 6 times at least, and on at least one occasion he rebought on back-to-back hands. All of the players at our table were encouraging the rebuy girl to stay close. We didn’t want our ATM to leave us.

I lost my first buy-in when my TPTK ran into two-pair. I won a couple of hands with large pre-flop raises, when holding AK. I was playing tight, and used this to my advantage later, when I bluffed a couple of hands. Early in the tourney, the players at the table were talking strategy. Someone made a comment about playing 27o (the hammer!), and ATM said, “Whose gonna play that?” The table agreed. I waited for the right moment. Unfortunately, it was 45 minutes later, when I was dealt 27o in middle position. I raised from 400 to 1500 when everyone folded behind me. I should have pushed, given the rule of 10 (I had 3500 or so), but I’ve learned not to push with 27o pre-flop. You think that is something you wouldn’t have to learn, but when you start playing the hammer sometimes it’s hard to stop. ATM was the SB, and I was super happy when he folded. The BB folded and I double-checked: “Is the hand over?” Once I got confirmation, I showed the table, “Hammer time!” I danced in my chair. ATM said, “I’m not surprised.” Thankfully, I WAS surprised that he folded.

Here is why. Earlier on, I had AKo UTG, and following the rule of 10, I pushed. He was in MP and called my large raise. All others folded. He held K8! This guy was calling with anything.

So, we hit the rebuy period and I was moved to another table. I was still shortstacked because of the high blinds and pushed with QJs. A hot chick at my table called reluctantly. The BB moved all-in. I had the BB covered, and hot chick had me covered by a minor amount of chips. BB had A9o, and hot chick had…QJs! The BB won, and hot chick and I split the side pot. I finally had to push with 66. Someone called with TJ. I hit my straight, with a board of 789Tx. See the problem? He hit his straight too, and I was sent packing.

Roose and I headed to the Havana section of Tropicana to get some food from a NY-style deli. We grabbed sandwiches and headed to the counter. Roose Debacle #3 began. As is his custom, Roose leaned into the counter-girl. “Do you know where we can get herbals?” “Herbals?” she asked. I never heard the term before (or at least hadn’t heard it commonly used), and realized there was a communication problem. This was GOOD because the counter girl was a 20-year-old white chick who looked clean cut. That isn’t to say that she doesn’t partake. It just means that she isn’t hooking up a couple of strangers at her job! I gave Roose the food and told him I’d cover the tab. He left and I smiled and backed away slowly.

After dinner (about 10pm), Roose and I decided that Batman Begins would only tire us out. We needed liquor, damnit! We headed to the Tango bar, by the casino and ordered two beers and two shots of tequila. I saw Roose’s brain at work and cut him off at the pass. “Do not ask the clean-cut Asian bartender for herbals, Dave. It ain’t gonna happen.” He conceded finally, until we heard a bar-back opening a bottle of wine saying to no one in particular, “I’m the Weasel. I’m the Weasel.” When he saw us looking, he asked, “Do you know why I’m the Weasel?” We shrugged. He said, “Because I make the bottles go pop!” Okay, Roose, here’s your chance. The bar-back was a black male in his late 30s. He looked like he had a hard past, and would probably at least know someone who’d know something. Roose cut to the chase. “Hey man, do you know where we can get some green?” “Sorry guys, I quit. But if you are looking, the best advice I can give you is to find some hookers.” This was the best advice we had all night. Unfortunately (or fortunately) I’m not versed with hookers. I sure as hell wasn’t looking to buy any services, which the Weasel suggested as a way to show them we weren’t cops. Regardless, we thanked him for the advice. I pass it on to you: “First you get the hookers, then you get the drugs.”

We returned to the poker room at 11pm and sat at 2/4 tables. Roose and I were sitting back to back at two different tables until a spot opened and he came over to sit right next to me. This was the best time we had all night. We finished off our time with the Weasel with another shot of tequila. With a nice booze basecoat, we kept the drinks flowing. I must have had 8 rum and cokes while playing. My chip stack was dwindling, but we were having a great time. I’m a chatty guy, and a wiseass to boot, so I was talking up the table once I got comfortable (read: drunk). I eventually got a bunch of the players’ names and we were joking back and forth. One guy, Danny, told me I looked like Dave Atell, the comedian from Up All Night on Comedy Central (now off of the air). Atell is a funny fucker, so I was flattered in a way, but he’s also fugly. When Danny started calling me Dave (for Atell, not for Roose) I finally fired this gem at him, “Hey, you can call me whatever you want, Deusche…um, I mean Dan.” This is the offensive fucker that I can be. But we were all laughing, so it was cool.

Along with Dan, there was a slew of people coming and going at the table. A very notable character was Mohadeeb, a nickname I made up for the Indian guy who had no idea what he was doing. He rivered flushes on me twice, once after calling my pre-flop bet when he was yet to act, holding 8d2d! This is fine by me though, because if you can play with a guy like this long enough, his chips will surely become yours. Roose was pissed after a couple of Mohadeeb’s suckouts, but I think he too profited from the loose action.

At about 3am, I quieted down for a bit. Before this, I was losing steadily. My stack dwindled from 100 to 60 to 50 to 40. I was drunk off of my ass, and Roose and I were cracking up even though we were getting our asses handed to us by the gods of variance. My cards were utter poop. 9 high and 8 high hands were the rule, not the exception. All that said, I don’t think I ever had more fun playing poker. At 2/4 it wasn’t about the big stakes, but about having fun.

So, at about 3pm, I get quiet. Roose looks over and asks if I’m okay. I lean over to him and whisper, “Dave, I might have to leave soon.” I honestly thought I’d have to puke. I decided to wait it out and switch to water. I rode through it, but still had some trouble with the cards. I was down to 17 chips or so, and suddenly, I was catching cards. I reached my last chips on a couple of occasions only to ultimately take down hands. As my sobriety returned, so did my chips. It was an odd thing. Part of it was that my luck was improving. Another part was that some of the players were leaving, so we were shorthanded, which is my stomping grounds. I was learning which players would pay me, and which I should fear. As a result, at about 4:30am, I was up to 81 bucks or so. Roose then leans over to me. “I’m up 30. I’m tired. Let’s hit the sack.” I told him no to wait for me. I wanted my money back damnit, and I didn’t want him risking his money because of my insistence. He agreed and went upstairs.

Once Roose was gone, the late-night players came in. We still had a core group of 5 from the original table (well, not the 11pm table, but more original than these Johnny Come-Latelies), and the action was still going well. At about 4am, with sobriety returning and my wits about me, I was back to my chatty self. It really felt like this was my table, and I was holding court. A lot of the players were having fun with it and me, in a friendly way. Danny and I were traded joking barbs back and forth. What I originally saw as animosity grew into a friendly relationship. A Hispanic guy who pissed me off earlier in the night by showing me one of his cards, inducing my call into his full house, also found middle-ground with me. Suddenly, all my enemies were friends…friends with money to be had. I continued my jovial run, enjoying the company and the cards. When 7am rolled around, I was holding $90 profit, and had been at the table for 8 hrs. It went by so fast, thanks to alcohol and the joy of poker. I finally decided to leave when Mohadeeb gave up. I wasn’t tired, but most of the fun people were gone and I have won back the money I lost in the tournament.

Before playing poker, I spoke to fiancé Kim. At the end of the conversation, she was going to bed. I told her that I would leave her a cell phone message before I go to bed. I finally called her at 7am while in the elevator to my room. She picked up and asked, “You woke up early to speak to me?” “That’s one way to look at it,” was my response.

Sunday morning, Roose and I awoke at 10am. On three hours of sleep (four or five for him), we enjoyed a buffet breakfast at the Trop. It was sub-par, which means spot-on in buffet terms. At least we left full. We never win when we play on the morning that we are leaving, but that didn’t stop us. I broke even in blackjack and roulette. Roose won $10 in blackjack and then put $110 on black in roulette…and won. Love that Roose.

The rest of the ride home, etc. doesn’t hold a candle to our time in AC. I’m sure I’m leaving out a lot, but it’s been a long day of blogging. Poker anyone?

Sunday afternoon was the Five Diamond Invitational Bouty Poker Tournament, the first poker game held in my new apartment, 5-D. The players numbered 12, with a varied group, including Robbie Hole (who jumped in last minute), Mikey "Deusche Boyd" Aps, Dave Ruff, Betsy the Female Poker Impressario, and Dan "The Silent Killer" Mauck. I would love to give a detailed account of the game, but my poker overload being what it is, I'll do my best. In the first game, I made it to the final table (down to 8), but lost in 7th place or so. I don't remember the hand anymore, but I believe I may've made an all-in move with top pair, and was beaten by two pair. I think it was all Ruff on this one, which I don't particularly mind. If there is anything to be said about Ruff, it is that he is a good guy all around. He's trustworthy, smart, and a damn solid poker player. He may not be the flashiest, loudest guy, but it would obnoxious is everyone were like me. Instead, Ruff is the type of player who is friendly, polite, and slowly taking everyone's chips. The table was down to five, including Mikey Aps, Ruff, Hole, Betsy, and Jake, when Hole and Jake pushed all-in with small stacks. I don't know the order, but I do know that Betsy called. Hole had Ax (rumor has it AT or A6!), Jake had 88, and Betsy had AQ. People questioned Betsy's move, but it got it done. She took out two players, earning their bounties and placing in the top three with Aps and Ruff. Eventually, fatigue set in and Bets went out 3rd. With her bounties, she made a decent bit of change. Aps and Ruff finally chopped when Ruff doubled-up bringing their stacks to about even. Both Ruff and Aps had most of the bounty chips (earned for taking out other players and redeemable at the end of the tourney for $10 each), so it looks like the bounty idea didn't change too much. The only non-winner to receive a bounty was Dan K, whose poker prowess is not to be outdone...um, except for at the 5-Diamond, cause he lost. But, you get the point. Aps was running the game the entire time. He was constantly a chip leader, and at one point his stack was towering over the rest. Aps is the opposite of Ruff, in many ways. He's loud and talkative at the table. He borders on obnoxious, and some might suggest that he has crossed that border years ago. Regardless, he is a great player. That cannot be discounted.

When it was down to 3 players on the main tournament, Big Al, Mark and Jake (all from the Aps Clan) decided that they wanted to play a quickie tournament. I joined, and we played a $20 Turbo, 10 min round game. I treaded water for a bit, but lost a devastating hand to Mark. I was down to about 17 chips (from 100) with 4/8 blinds on the button, when I see AhQh. I push (rule of 10), and get called by Al and Mark. The flop held two hearts, and I rivered the 5th one for the nut flush. I tripled up, and suddenly was back in contention. Not too long later, Big Al was out, followed by Jake. It was me v. Mark, who I believe is the best player in the group. I've heard him talk about poker, calling players' hands and offering a general insight into the game that no one else can compare to in our humble group. On one prior occassion over a year ago, I received my best compliment from him. We were playing, and whenever he bet I happened to be holding a hand. Fearing him, I always raised, and he repeatedly called. Finally he said, "I've got to hand it to you. You have me read. I can't do anything against you." I smiled, and thought how lucky I was. My biggest opponent thought I was better than I was. I wasn't going to correct him. I was a large chipleader heads up, but that didn't last long. Mark slowplayed me to take down a hand. Suddenly we had even stacks. "Wanna chop?" he asked. Done and done. We both took $40, and I had an official win for the night (although still down money).

Finally, we played a second tournament with 8 remaining players. I was out first after getting shortstacked with an under-two-pair. With little chips left (but enough to warrant a fold from the BB, Aps), I pushed with 88. Aps called with 79, and rivered a 9. It sucks. But at least I had time to clean up while they finished the game.

Overall, I lost $30 on the day, which isn't too bad. I had pocket Aces once, but otherwise didn't get any other pocket pairs over 6s. I also had AQ once and AK once, but otherwise no good hands. Being cold-decked sucks, but it's poker. I don't entirely blame myself for my losses, although I did make some mistakes. Also, don't take this recap too literally, as a lot of memory has faded. I do know who won and lost though. Those you can take to the bank.

I look forward to a future mega-tourney (20 people hopefully) at Aps' place in the guture. Thanks for reading. Poker's up!

I sat down to write about my trip to Atlantic City, when I realized that in the past few days, I've had a slew of poker-related activities. Therefore, I've officially dubbed this Poker Week, and will provide individual posts for different days/events. It will make it easier for me by allowing shorter concise posts.

This one will be a real quickie, as I've already hinted at the games played on Saturday.

Jordan's Wonderful Magical Mystery Poker Tour started off with a bang Saturday afternoon. After dropping fiance Kim off at her mother's place, for a day of wedding tomfoolery, I returned to my parent's home in Long Island. I had some time to kill and my parents were away. With no one around, I signed up for a $3 rebuy tournament on Noble. I placed 5th out of 97 people. Noble is my bitch, and all the players there are my girls. The win earned me about $50 worth of profit, which is no big payday, but still a nice chunk of change. Plus, I can add the win to my mental list of big tournament wins. It's not about the payout but more about the win. Saying I placed in 5th out of 97 is an accomplishment. When addede with my previous big MTT wins, it makes me feel like maybe I have some skill.

I went out with Clam David (my brother) that night. You can read all about it in a previous post. When I returned home, at about 2 am, drunk and alone (fiance Kim was on Long Island overnight), I fired up Noble and saw the $3 rebuy. I took another crack at it. There were 60 or so players, which is surprising to me, for that late at night. Unfortunately, I placed in the low 20s, which didn't pay out. Meanwhile, however, I won $9 playing .25/.50 NL, which covered my buy-in, rebuy, and add-on. A break even drunk poker session works for me.

Don't forget to read the next post (hopefully you are reading these in chronological order), detailing my 5-Diamond Invitational Poker Tournament...or at least whatever I recall of it.

If you want to cheat a cheat, start a website offering the "secrets of cheating online" to would-be cheaters. Dollars to donuts, this site http://www.cheat-at-poker.com/ is more BS than business. If you are looking for a laugh, a sigh, or a "what is this world coming to?" take a look. I found it while searching for a free poker timer for use at my home game.

Okay. Tonight, my little brother, Clam David, came by with a few of his friends. As it turns out, a "few" equals roughly a dozen. After having drinks with the crew and their assorted female companions, I finally ushered them out around midnight. With this group, if you don't help them move, they will sit around all night. I'm sure this isn't an uncommon plight.

We ended up at a bar/club called Providence. The only thing about it that warranted the club label was the massive dance floor in the middle of the bar area. There was a good amount of rump-shaking, but seeing as I am retired from the dating scene, I stuck with the bar.

My new drink of choice is Grey Goose on the rocks with a twist of lime. Positives are that it doesn't look like a girly, fruity drink, and it's all alcohol, baby. The negatives is, I look like I'm drinking water. I'm admittedly folically challenged (read: bald), so I felt like a narc surrounded by 21 year olds, drinking my clear liquid while avoiding any dancing. Thank god for fiance Kim. I've never been so happy to be retired in my life. There is definitely something to be said about the security of a committed relationship. It helps that she's a piece of ass, caring, and intelligent too.

I found two things rather annoying/interesting tonight. First, I was in the lobby area of the bar/club/restaurant. I saw that the first floor had a roped off restaurant. The lobby was a wide hallway with couches. It was cooler (temperature) than downstairs, so at one point me and Clam David decided to enjoy the comfort of the lobby. Then a bouncer, wearing an impractical suit, came by and said, "Upstairs or downstairs. You have to get out of the hallway." Now I didn't notice any upstairs. The downstairs was the bar/club area, and the hallway presumably was the area I was in. It isn't a good idea to put air conditioning and comfortable lounge couches in a "hallway" where you don't want people to congregate, but that's just my layman's opinion. Being the curios guy that I am, I asked the bartender, "So, what's the upstairs?" His response was, "The restaurant...and it's closed." To which I replied, "Then it's really only downstairs, isn't it?" No response was received, nor needed. This is one of those situations when you are dealing with someone with a tad more power than intelligence. Just smile and nod, smile and nod.

The second thing that irked me was witnessed in my cab ride home. I'm heading home when I see two kids who were 10 years old TOPS (probably 8) roller blading down the street. I then see their sister, assumedly, of about 12 years old TOPS (probably 10) riding her bike. Sure enough, there was an adult with them. Regardless, what the fuck are a bunch of kids doing skating around at 2AM!! Parenting in this country sucks. It's a sad world when two 8 year olds are skating around town while I'm heading home to go shluffy. Shluffy is baby talk for sleep, in case that isn't a universal term.

So, there you have it. My rants and raves on poor parenting and poor bouncing. Lord help us all.

Just wanted to let everyone know that after I grinded out the 6th $10 on Absolute, I decided to withdraw the $25 left. Then I discovered that they do not let you withdraw less than $50. Fortunately, I hit a run of cards in .50/1 and reached $51. I thereafter withdrew from Absolute. I shall never return again...except to maybe show GCox the precious photo I used as my icon on the site. It's yours truly sporting a gay as gay can be mustache. I'd post it here, but I have some shame...

Damn Absolute Poker! Damn it to hell! I've almost torn through my entire deposit there, which I would repeat, but I can't seem to do it without breaking down into tears. I withdrew $50, seeing that it was a waste of my time, but still have about $22 left. I'm going to play .25/.50 until I finish my last 30 or so points to receive my next $10 bonus. Of course, I'll probably lose all $22 in the process. But then, I'm out.

Absolute has been sheer torture. Pocket Ts hit a set on the flop, but my opponent with KK hits his K on the turn. Hey, Jordan, you've turned a K-high flush! Not so fast, because the guy to your left has the Ace-high flush. Wa-wa-wa!

This is what has been typically happening to me. Raise pre-flop with QQ, get 4 callers, and see a AKx flop! Here is another gem. AQ raised pre-flop. Flop is J high. I bet, and he calls. Next card is an ace (thank god). I bet, he calls. River is a Q. OK! I bet, he raises me. Wha? I call. He has QQ! Aw, come on! Where's the camera? This is one of those prank shows, right? Nope. Absolute just sucks.

Now, why should I blame it on Absolute? Maybe it's me. I decided to test that theory by returning home to Noble Poker. I entered the $3 Rebuy NL tournament, with 96 of my best friends. I placed in 5th, winning a little over $50 (much needed, thank you!). So, apparently it isn't me. At least not entirely me.

As for the Noble win, I'm very proud. I never went all-in with the worst of it. I played very selective hands, and played aggressive when needed. I even had 2 hammer bluffs, and one all-in bluff from the button with 24o. If he had anything (as he was the shortstack), I would be in trouble, but I watched him enough to know that his hand requirements were really high. The rule of 10 is a god send, and it amazes me that others don't know/use it. When you have 5 times the big blind, DON'T LIMP. One more time for the slow kids: DO NOT LIMP! Just gather your balls and push. I know you are going for 10th place, but you aren't getting there anyway with your play.

So, I'm probably going out with my little brother, Clam David, and his friends tonight. It's always an interesting time with this crew because they drink like there is no tomorrow. God bless! Tomorrow is the 5-Diamond Invitational Bounty Tournament, and I'm so exciting I've wet myself...twice. Wish me luck.

I saw an interesting post and idea on Maigrey's blog. She typed, "Heather wants" into Google and posted interesting responses received. So, with that introduction, presenting things that Jordan Wants, according to Google.

Jordan Wants a Lesbian Affair (Is this even possible?)

Jordan Wants World's Longest Wedding Dress (I have ugly calves)

Jordan Wants to Own NBA Team (But not the Knicks...I don't have time for that mess)

I was sitting at my computer desk two days ago, in an uncomfortable chair, with a cramp in my right hand and wrist (tendinitis, I think), and an ache in my back. I looked over to my left and saw the plush, couch-like chair. Not quite a lazy boy, but comfortable none the less.

In my head, all sorts of calculations were going on. Me, here. Chair, there. Computer and mouse, here. What to do? Fiance Kim was asleep, so moving the furniture was an option. In between hands of my three simultaneous tables, I went to work. The chair was near, but once it was in place, I realized that the mouse was tethered to the damn computer. Distance was an issue. But, like a lightbulb bursting above my head, I had an epiphone. Absolute is the only site I've seen with a Hot Keys option. Basically, if you turn on the option, when the prompt asks Check, Raise or Fold, you can hit H, R, or F, respectively. If it is Call, Bet or Fold, you have C, B, or F. My keyboard is wireless. I don't know why, other than they had a great deal on Woot.com and coincidentally on that day my brother spilled a drink on our old keyboard. Viola! I had myself a wireless keyboard. But what are you going to do with a wireless keyboard? You can't type and see the screen while across the room. You don't move the keyboard around as you type? You can't work out while writing a dissertation.

Wireless keyboard + Hot Keys + Comfortable Chair = Solution. I grabbed the keyboard, set up my Hot Key option and plunked down into my chair. Poker at its best. Boxers, comfortable chair, and three simultaneous games. My own piece of heaven.

By way of recap, yesterday was brutal. I did enjoy some namesake, which can hurt my poker. I lost a heads-up practice match against TripJax because I held 86o, and the board was 774X4. For some retarded reason, I thought I held a 4. This is ONLINE poker, where a glance at the bottom of the screen is all it takes to confirm or deny my delusion. And I still made the error. So, we play a second one, and I lose again. It was some lose play, and a suckout on the end. I held Ax, and he held Kx. The flop was AKx, so we both hit a pair. I called. On the blank turn, I checked, he bet, and I pushed. He called....and hit a K on the river. Trip was nice enough not to gloat, but I say gloat away. We arranged for a third match, because I wanted to win back some pride and Trip knew I was playing like a high fish on poker (or so my theory goes). Unfortunately (or fortunately), we were having some problems with UB, so we decided to do it on Noble, my home turf. It was some back and forth, and at one point, I was down from 1000 to 150 chips. However, I made a surging comeback, and took home the third match. Earlier in the evening, I lost to SteelerJosh, further destroying my practice Heads-Up win/loss record. With three losses and a win, I've went from 4-1 to 5-4. It's a sad day.

But let's not stop there. I proceeded to lose $50 on three-tabling $1/2 limit on Absolute. $50 hurts, but I have to remember that it is only 25BB. WillWonka asked recently why players describe their losses as BBs, instead of $s. The reason is, I went up from .50/1 to 1/2. If I had stayed at .50/1 and did everything the exact same way, I'd be down $25. So, the win/loss by $ takes into account the real FINANCIAL value of the win/loss, but does not take into account the real POKER PLAY value of the win/loss. If I was playing $25/50, then a $50 would be nothing. But if I'm playing .10/.20 and lose $50, something is seriously wrong.

That's it for now. I'm chalking the $50 loss up to variance, and not letting it get to me. I believe between Noble, UB and Absolute, I have a bit short of $300 online, which is an okay amount. According to the Limit Challenge structure, the $1/2 was the right amount to play for my bankroll (if the bankroll is taken in total), so I'm sticking with it in the future. I also finished my PSO promotion, and hope to get my Poker Tracker soon. Remember, referral code GCox25 or TripJax.

Yesterday, I received three comments from "loyal readers". They went something like this:

"Hey! I just read your blog and it's great! Come check mine out at makemoney.advert.com."

or

"After reading your blog, I was thinking you could use more opportunities. Check out imanasshole.cashfromhome.net."

Now, look, these people are trying to make money by blanketing blogs and leaving these pathetic attempts to fool bloggers and their readers. You'll note that I don't have any advertising on my site, although I was contacted by two different parties and would also be able to advertise through Google. However, in the end, these things would pay me pennies, if anything, and I don't want to clutter my site or bother my loyal readers.

I don't remember the context, but I was discussing spam with someone and their response is, it must work, or else they wouldn't do it. This logic seems accurate, but it is flawed. Sending out mass emails/spam, or blanketing blogs is probably very cheap. There is no real fear of loss as a result, but this does not mean that there is the potential for gain. In fact, raise your hand if you've ever followed a spam email and purchased a product. Then, take that raised hand and stick it in the nearest electrical socket. Because, you, sir, are retarded.

The bottom line is this: I don't want your crappy product, and if you have to send me a spam or leave an advertising post on my blog to convince me to buy it, you are barking up the wrong tree.

On to lighter topics. Roose, my live poker friend who is more akin to a brother than just a buddy, openned an account on Noble, and we played a little .25/.50 limit yesterday. We were getting whooped by the loose, card-catching table when fiance Kim came home and I signed off. I felt a big guilty for convincing him to sign up there and then getting him in a shitty room, but I'm glad he's playing online. Noble will pay him off in dividends if he finds the right room.

I also grinded out not one, but two of the ten $10 bonuses from Absolute, all the while crawling my way back from my past losses. I received a $100 bonus from Absolute for my first deposit, and it takes 100 absolute points to release $10 of the $100 bonus. I realized that Absolute counts any raked hands at your table for your bonus points. You don't even need to contribute. Therefore, I entered three rooms at once, my usual 6-person .50/1, and two 9-person .50/1. My logic was that I would play uber-tight on the 9-person tables and just fold my way into the bonuses. The blinds come along slower (because of more players at the table, stupid), so this seemed like an ideal strategy to not expose myself and still earn the bonus. When I came up with this theory, I was already down $20 at the 6-person table. Over the course of an hour, I earned all of that money back through tight hand selection and good reads. In addition, I held A7 in the BB when a flop came down AAA. I made a sweet pot off of that one too, when SB bet, I called, and a player after us raised. They capped, and I was sitting back and taking it all in. (I also hit four of a kind, 7s on Noble with Roose later, to win a much smaller pot). After hitting the fours Aces, I checked Absolute's site for any bonus. Unfortunately, none existed (that I could see). Even if I hit a straight-flush, I'd only get a t-shirt. This is why I love Noble, with its high hand of the day bonus, and UB, with its high hand jackpots. It made me think of Pauly and Grubby in Vegas at the Excalibur. Spin that Wheel!

Earlier in the evening, I was grinding out bonuses when Kipper came online. He offered to play me in a Heads-Up match, and I, naturally, accepted. Kip isn't in the HUC, because he thinks that he needs to work on his Heads-Up game. I disagree whole-heartedly. He started off timid, but was aggressive in no time. Very Aggressive. He was also showing me his cards, both folds and wins, which was unsettling. Was he doing it because we are fellow bloggers and he is being friendly? Should I reciprocate? It actually messed with my head, and I was playing off of my heels for a bit. Finally, the deck slapped me in the face. Every hand for about 12 hands I hit high pair, two pair, mid-pair, flush draws. I couldn't miss. Eventually, I won when I held 67o and the flop was 467. Kip had 58o and we were both slowplaying each other when the turn came down with another 7. Eventually, we started raising on each other, and his made straight ran into my miracle full house. Yep, I got lucky. But luck counts. My HU stats for the week are 3 for 4. Against bloggers, my stats are 2 for 3, winning over Kip and TripJax, but losing to GCox...of course.

That's it for now. I'll see you all later today, for another installment of Jordan's stalling at work posts. Poker in the eye.

After a week of solid wins, I've hit a slump. My lunchtime session was a $20 loss, do in large part to my impatience. Fuck Absolute, too. I don't know why I ever leave the womb of Noble Poker, but I just can't help myself. I've lost $100 of my $250 original deposit and haven't earned a single $10 bonus. One is forthcoming, in a day or two, but I'm still waiting it out. I have a lot of poker coming up, which is a good thing overall, but if I don't fight through this poor streak (both cards and play) I'm cooked. Let's look at Jordan's poker schedule:

Tonight (Wed): Fiance Kim is having dinner with a friend. I was really looking forward to spending some time with her, but since that is out the window for the early evening, I will spend some time with fiance poker. Um, that was a slip. Don't tell fiance Kim. I hope to play some practice Heads-Up games, and maybe an SNG. I want to continue to grind at Absolute, but I'm really disenfranchised with their site right now. I'm just not catching anything, and when I do, I'm beat. Grunt.

Thurs: This will probably be a fiance Kim evening, so I will only get to play late-night. It will also be the night before my last day of work (hallelujah), so I don't see any reason to get a full-night's rest. Late night poker, here I come!

Fri & Sat: Friday and Saturday are the eye of the poker storm. Friday night, I may go for drinks after work with co-workers. Thereafter, I am supposed to go to LI (NYC suburbs where I grew up) with fiance Kim. If Batman is still in the theatres, I'm making her see it with me. I can't believe I may've missed out! If not, we'll find something else to keep us occupied. On Saturday, I am meeting up with my good buddy Platinum for tux fittings for my wedding. I have a birthday party Saturday night, so I don't anticipate any poker.

Sun: I have no idea how I'm going to feel Sunday morning, when I awake at 9am and realize I have 6 hours until the 5-Diamond Invitational Bounty Poker Tournament begins at casa-del-Jordan. I can just about guarantee that the table will be set up several hours in advance. I just can't help but feel the anticipation already. Up to 14 players will enter the 5-Diamond lounge with money in their pockets and a glint of hope in thier eye. Three will leave victorious (ignoring the huge bounties). Buy in is $30, with $20 to the prize pool and $10 for each players' bounty. It should speed up action and encourage aggressive play, two things I'm looking for. I have to arrange the blind structure which is always a tricky one. Regardless, it should be an exciting time. I'm MUST place. Understand this. Failure is not an option. I haven't played live in a while, and this will be my coming out party.

In addition, look for me to be online at 12am Sunday night/Monday morning, looking to get some HEADS UP CHALLENGE preliminary matches in. I'll be away Monday, so I'm missing the bulk of the kick-off day, but I've devised a late night plan to start ASAP. So there is my personal challenge to all Challengers: Who wants a piece of me Monday, 12am?

Mon: What better way to follow up poker than with...poker! Dave Roose and I leave for Atlantic City in the morning, and will be playing in Tropicana's $20+10 Rebuy/Add-on Tournament at 7:15pm. After that, we will probably play a bucket of cash games. Throw in some craps and you got yourself quite the gambling cocktail. If we are up for it, we might stick around for the 5:15 AM(!!) tournament. The buy in is $50+15, with a double add-on, so its costly. We'd have to be amped and flush with cash to make it. Or stupid. I'm thinking a little from column A and a little from column B. We have a room at the Trop, but sleep is optional.

Tues: I plan on waking up early enough to make the $50+15 no rebuy/no add-on Taj Mahal tournament at 12:15pm, but no promises. I may be wrong, but I feel like I can make my buck stretch a little farther in tournament situations. I'll have to re-read Harrington on Hold'em too, to keep my head straight. After that, we'll be heading back to NYC, where I will wind down my poker fix with fiance Kim. A little GHB in her drink, and once she's out, I'm back on.

Wed-Fri: With a week off from work, I only have a few random errands to run. One will take all of Wed, and another will take the later half of Thurs. However, I'm looking to go to the Aquarium, an underground card room in Manhattan. If anyone wants to join, I'm looking for company. Other possibilities include a Robbie Hole homegame, or just about any homegame I can get into.

All this poker, and I'm still on a losing streak. Oooweee! Good thing that future cards are independant from past cards, because the turn-around is coming. Poker poker poker!

PS- Why aren't bloggers updating as much lately? It's probably the summer, but do they expect me to actually work during the day? I'm not talking about the Challengers (see sidebar), who I know individually have reasons for not posting. Rather, it seems like the whole blogging community is lagging. Maybe it's just me and my over-blogging standards. Oh well oh well!

With Mourn as our 8th competitor and confirmation pending from DuggleBogey and Porkchop Fin, we may reach a 10-person competition. GCox will do the confirming for Porkchop, but if my short chat with them yesterday was any indication, we are looking good. Stay tuned for details.

Wow. It's been my first losing day in a while. I won a Heads-Up SNG against a stranger, but then lost to GCox. Fiance Kim had just come into the apartment after her long day and I felt like a jerk putting poker before her. But I don't like to give away money so I decided to play fast. I had a J in my hand and the flop had an A and J. I pushed, and G called with his Ace. I deserved it for rushing, and G played well overall, so I'm not making excuses or minimizing his amazing accomplishment (I am a HU pro after all). I'm still 3 for 4 SNGs since yesterday, including a win over TripJax, which is no easy task.

The rumor mill has it that we may have an 8th and 9th challenger in the Heads Up Challenge. Please feel free to encourage DuggleBogey to join. The other person is a friend of GCox's that goes by the screenname PorkChop Fin. That is one funny name. Plain and simple.

Now, on to my miserable losses. I lost a $20 Rio at Noble. I lost 2 $20 NL buy-ins at Absolute. This morning I lost about $20 on one hand of 1/2 limit alone. I also bled chips playing two simultaneous distracting games on UB last night, Crazy Pineapple 8/b and Omaha 8/b. Both were limit. Oh well.

Two hands stand out. In one, I hit a K high flush on the river. I had a KcJc, to complete the flush. My opponent had a Ac7c. We both caught runner runner straight. Damn you flush!

In another hand, I had AQ in NL. The board was KQQ/A/X. He had KK. Doh!

These are the hands you CANNOT get off of. In both cases, you know you don't have the nuts, but the chance that the other guy has the nuts over you (that sounds gay) is VERY slight. With the flush, there were already 5 flush cards I knew of (2 in my hand and 3 on the board). It was a runner runner straight, so he wasn't playing to the flush post flop. There were 8 remaining flush cards, and I didn't expect him to have 2, let alone 2 flush cards including the Ace of clubs. It happens.

With the full house, I had him on a K, or maybe an A. Hell AK is another possibility. I was hoping he caught a straight. I didn't expect he had one of two combinations that could have beaten me (KK or AA). But that is poker.

It doesn't phase me much, which is good overall. I miss the calm waters of Noble, as compared to Absolute, which I find to be a bit...odd. Its nothing particular, but I haven't gotten comfortable there yet. The user interface is a bit too busy and confusing. The players suck, but have been catching. This will change. It must.

UB continues to suck. Its a decent site on paper, but I hate their lobby interface. Its too busy, like a webpage with splash pics and articles. Screw that. Let me see the poker rooms. I don't need your articles. I need your poker. Crazy Pineapple is a hoot, but I wasn't catching cards there. (Why am I using "hoot" so much?) If you don't know Crazy Pineapple, picture three card Hold'em, where, after betting on the flop, you discard one of your three cards. You only have to use one hole card (or none) like Hold'em, rather than Omaha. However, I think you need to use both to hit the low. The interesting part is deciding on going high or low. It's a real headtrip, and can be a lot of fun if you feel like goofing around.

There you have it. I probably lost $100 or so in the last 24 hrs. No harm if I keep my head level about it.

I also received my red-felt poker tabletop courtesy of Poker Source Online (referral code TripJax or GCox25). It will be used this Sunday at the 5-Diamond Invitational Bounty Poker Tournament. In other bonus-whoring news, I'm working toward the Poker Tracker through Absolute, so I have no choice but to stick around there for a bit.

That's all for now. I'll write about my poker-filled week later today, so stay tuned. Pokeriffic!

I wish I could remember the URL, but this is me as a South Park cartoon. Notice the stubble, sparse hair and Superman shirt. For those who don't know, I've worn a Superman t-shirt as my "lucky" poker shirt for a long time. It all started because games were in my apartment. The shirt is comfortable, and there is something a bit over the top about portraying myself as Superman at the table. All this is well and good, but the shirt really became my poker symbol when I drove to AC with fiance Kim, Dave Roose, his girl Allison, Robbie Hole, and his girl Joyous. When we arrived at AC, I went to the trunk to get our bags. Fiance Kim had packed two large bags for a weekend trip, which is her perogative as a female. I had a backpack...a backpack that I left in my parents' house in Long Island. With nothing but my Superman t-shirt and a pair of long shorts (which some might label capris), I looked like a total tool walking around the casino...two days in a row. It was Christmas, as five out of six of us are heathen Jews, so no stores were open. Fortunately, my parents are also heathens and were joining us late the next day, so I had them bring my bag.

I didn't think much of my Superman t-shirt. Maybe it was because I was just out of law school, and was used to dressing casually for class and when not working. Maybe it is the fact that I've always had a personal and eclectic style. Maybe it is my immaturity, or the fact that I admittedly (but only admittedly in the anonymous Blogosphere) read comics. Whatever the case, everyone at the casino felt the need to comment on my shirt. The woman at the chip cashout counter said, "How's it going, Clark." The old man at the Roulette table with his wife said, "Hey, it's Superman!" I was just walking by at the time, and the way that his granny of a wife responded was 50% adorable and 50% delirious. "Come here, Superman!" They wanted to shake my hand! This was standard. Probably because, (a) I stood out amongst the Asian and old people who dominate X-mas weekend at AC, and (b) its easy to refer to someone by their shirt if you don't know their names. At the craps table, it was "Hard eight for Superman." At the blackjack table, it was "The six is your Kryptonite, Supes."

On top of this, I began wearing the shirt to Hole's home games because he and Roose were at the Superman AC debacle. Its comfortable and I like looking like a bum/fool. I also like to wear my trucker style (by that I mean mesh in the back) hunting-camo baseball cap, which was a key part to my hillbilly costume that I wore on Halloween 6 years ago. I put it in the back of my drawer, and suddenly trucker hats were cool. I waited for them to be uncool before I brought the hat out of retirement, my own little spoof. Add this with my hooded sweatshirt, and I can guarantee that anyone seeing me return from a Hole homegame on the train thinks I'm a drugged out freak. At least no one bothers to sit next to me.

The Superman shirt is pretty worn out, and I'm thinking of changing to the Flash. Green Lantern is another front runner. Batman is too played out. I'm also short on hooded sweatshirts, so that will have to go on my 'things to buy' list. It's gotta be just right, with no labels, a zipper in the front, and preferrably cheap material.

So, this is my poker uniform. I play myself off as a goofy college guy, stuck in perpetual inebriation and immaturity. Its not so far from the truth. In my upcoming trip to AC (with Roose on Monday), I might change it up and dress up for the place. But who wants to play against a slick looking guy. Not me. I'll take the drunk, dumb college kid any day.

Question to my Readers: What is your prefered poker attire in live games? Not the online poker attire, which for some (read: DNasty) is probably just a sock on the schween and a pair of mismatched socks.

Last night, I signed on to see that GCox and Kipper were hanging around online. We chatted for a bit, and suddenly DNasty signed on. So the four of us are chatting, and SteelerJosh signs on. The five of us are discussing entering a 10-person SNG, when GCox notices that Trip was in a UB Heads-Up SNG. Well, shit, we go and railbird. His opponent, verse (with some #s thereafter), seemed to get a real hoot out of the fact that Trip had railbirds. I played the role of bitter guy who lost his whole bankroll to Trip. Long story short, Trip whooped some tail. When we entered the room, he was behind. Made us proud!

We all decided to enter a $10, 10-person SNG. Everything was all set...but where was Kipper? In the $5, 10 person, of course. Consequently, he missed the bus, and the five remaining SNG Challengers got ready for combat. I took notes on blogger, but lost my connection and my post. I dropped the hammer in the first hand, after a preflop re-raise that pushed out Trip and GCox (who raised first). Of course, I showed: HAMMER! The next hand I won with two pair, Ks and Js. The flop was AK8, all diamonds, and I held KJ. All checked. The turn was an offsuit J, and Trip bet the small pot. I called and one other player called. The river was a blank, and Trip checked. I bet the pot and got one caller. Trip folded. Payday. Dude had K3. What's wrong with this picture?

Not surprisingly, even with the early success, I was the first one out. I held QQ on the button, but everyone folded to my relatively small raise. I then held JJ in the next hand and DNasty raise preflop. I reraised the pot and him and I were heads up. The flop was QQ9, and I bet. He pushed and I ignorantly called, knowing I had him covered. Sure enough, his KK beat my JJ, and I was crippled. My last hand was a mess. I held A9o UTG, with about 250, and 30/60 or higher blinds. I pushed, as part of the Rule of 10 (if you have less than 10x the big blind, you either fold or push). The guy next to me isolated with KK, and I was done. My error was pushing UTG. I had no information as to what was behind me. At best, I might get called by an underpair, but more likely an AJ or higher would have me dominated. If I was in late position and all folded before me, it would be different. That wasn't the case though. Chalk it up to a brain fart.

The order of SNGers out was: Me, Steeler, Trip, DNasty, and GCox (who placed 2nd, the only SNGer to place). What does this show? That the SNG Challenge results were pretty indicative to our relative skill. Or so I like to think.

After Steeler and I were out, we decided to play a practice Heads-Up SNG. On UB, you can challenge a player, which is like setting up a private Heads-UP SNG room. For this reason, the Heads Up Challenge is being moved to UB. It just makes sense. This is not written in stone, and if players deposited in Noble, I'm sure we can play on both sites. HU Challengers, please let me know if this is a problem. And any would-be challengers should contact me ASAP. We have one spot open...

Unfortunately, Steeler and I are E-tards. When Steeler challenged me, there wasn't a pop up. Rather, I had to find which HU SNG he was in, via AIM chat. Once I got there, I clicked Register, but it put me in the regular SNG pool, and I ended up playing some fool. I took his $10 quick and challenged Steeler. Steeler, not knowing what I've learned, did the same thing and ended up playing against another prag. I don't know how that went, but I wished him the best of luck.

Trip was out of the 10-person SNG, so him and I decided to figure the Challenge thing up. We worked out the kinks. After I challenged him, he challenged me and the SNG began. DNasty railbirded once he bubbled out of the 10-person SNG. Trip played well. I hammered him with pot-sized bets, a favorite move. As long as you bet the pot each time, the opponent has no idea what he is facing. This is especially true after showing a bluff or two. Keep em guessing. Sure enough, I sent him packing for a $5 payday.

So, I'm actually up $5 on UB, which is a change. I'm a looser on that site, due to the SNG Challenge, but I think I'll stick around a bit. Maybe I'll play some Pineapple. Mmmm....pineapple. My withdrawals still haven't cleared from Noble, so I'm putting Absolute on hold until I can throw a bunch of money in there to get a high bonus.

Look for the 5-Diamond Invitational Bounty Tournament. On Sunday, I am hosting a game at my new apartment, 5-D (hence, 5-Diamond). I wanted something big, so I announced it over a week ago, and currently have 9-10 attending. If all goes well, we'll hit 14, my max. The buy-in is $30, with $20 going to the prize pool and $10 bounties on everyone. The bounties are high compared to the prize pool, which should encourage aggressiveness. Nothing like shaking things up. With 14 participants, 3 spots will pay. 1st = 140 (+20, for his and 2nd place's bounties), 2nd = 100, 3rd = 40. Not too shabby. Participants include me, Dave Roose, Betsy the female poker impresario, Dan Mock he of the stoned-face, Mikey Aps aka Deusche Boyd, Mark the Shark, Big Al, Dave Ruff, and others.