'Regretsy': When upcycling goes wrong

Do your upcycled wine cork coasters and reclaimed yarn mittens make landfills seem like a good idea? Meet craft-wrecks just like yours.

I never regret reading Regretsy, the hilarious site that shows handcrafts gone wrong. The snarky site’s quickly attracted quite the following of fans who enjoy laughing at other people’s work — and already has a book out: Regretsy: Where DIY Meets WTF.

How’s this book green? Well, many Regretsy showcases are green upcycling projects gone wrong — like a rusty cheese grater — some cheese still attached — turned into a clock, chewed up gum turned into a “gum art painting” of a smiling pear, or a Coke can sliced up

into a scary-sharp looking pair of earrings (“Tetanus shots not included”).

I laughed over that last one for a little while, then thought, wait — and looked in the mirror. OMG!

Yes, those too would be upcycled soda can earrings, though I’m of the opinion mine look if not cute like my friends tell (lie to?) me, at least less dangerous. Which is to say: The line between innovative upcycling craft and regretful pile of junky crap is quite thin!

Regretsy the book’s divided into entertaining chapters — some expected, like “Art” and “Decor,” others not-so-expected, like “Pet Humiliation” and “Vulvacraft.” Yes, Vulvacraft. Each chapter begins with a short hilarious essay by April Winchell, creator of Regretsy, who shares not just astute insights –

Fans of dressing animals often insist that the pet ‘enjoys it,’ but this is, in fact, a terrible lie. Dogs do not appreciate having to take a crap in harem pants.

but also her own stories of Regretsy moments, like henna-ing her dog a neon orange. Especially interesting are the details of April’s experiences with Etsy crafters who get Regretsied — some who get enraged, others who get entrepreneurial:

After I featured a beaded butterfly brooch that readers described as looking ‘like it was hit by a car,’ the seller posted new photos, showing the brooch under a tire and stuck to a windshield. The brooch sold immediately, and she has a new legion of fans.

Ever tried your hand at a coulda-been-green project that turned out so fugly or stinky it almost turned you into an un-environmentalist? Share your stories — so we can all laugh in commiseration at your eco-Regretsy failures. If you’d rather laugh at the humiliation of others, Regretsy the book can be yours for $14 — while Regretsy the site’s always free to visit.