Vorze isn't calling its new A10 Cyclone Standalone a sex toy. Even so, it isn't exactly the first sexual home appliance as Hitachi first corned that market in the 1970s with its Magic Wand—a vibrating massager. Granted, that wasn't—and still isn't—sold as explicitly a sexual device.

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According to popular Japanese tech site IT Media, Vorze hopes that eventually the A10 Cyclone SA will be available at home electronics shops. This is an updated version of the previously released A10 Cyclone, which TechCrunch described as "a shoe cleaner for your weenus."

The updated version is very large—like a 2-liter soda bottle. Mmm...large drink bottles. So sexy.

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

The updated version is also Bluetooth enabled. You can control the A10 Cyclone SA's rotation speed as the data is written in CSV files—meaning you can customize the rotations to match whatever you are watching. The evening news, for example. Baseball. Whatever.

Then, you can upload that data to the internet and share with others. Because sharing is caring. The hope is that adult video companies will also release data to go with their films.

Presently, the price tag being tossed around is 30,000 yen (US$300), which is expensive. This is going to be one hard sell.