ProgressNow UN bicycle imperialists mock Maes, raise money

The race for governor of Colorado this year has given progressive activist group ProgressNow a mother lode of material. The group notably mocked plagiarist GOP primary loser Scott McInnis. The group handed out McDonalds-style happy meal bags from “Scott McLobbyist” at the capitol to draw attention to his support for corporate tax breaks. The group also set up a “McLobbyist Makeover” website with an “I Feel Pretty” soundtrack where supporters could sign up to refashion an image of the candidate that mocked the fact that he paid consultants to remake his image by in part shaving his mustache and highlighting his hair.

Welcome, comrades. We’ve made a few changes now that Dan Maes is on to us.

The United Nations Bicycle Ambassadors were prematurely disclosed by Colorado GOP gubernatorial nominee Dan Maes in a July campaign speech. As Americans are brainwashed into adopting subversive bicycle transportation, thus becoming a “U.N. community,” the Ambassadors will serve as role models, and enforcers. “This is bigger than it looks like on the surface, and it could threaten our personal freedoms,” Maes warned. (Denver Post, 8/4/2010)