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Cultivating Forbearance

A Dafa Disciple in Mainland China

PureInsight | October 15, 2018

[PureInsight.org] In Falun Dafa cultivation, intolerable words and actions can often cause disputes and even violent conflicts. It can affect cooperation and teamwork because of gaps and misunderstandings among practitioners. I want to talk about a few things that I have encountered while cultivating forbearance.

We live in a bungalow in the countryside. Every time after my wife had mopped the tile floor, my father would walk on the tiles while they were still wet and leave dirty footprints on the newly cleaned floor. My wife complained a lot. I told her, “Dafa disciples should cultivate forbearance. You should look at it as an attachment and not complain. If he leaves more footprints, you can clean again and see what happens” My father walked on the newly cleaned tiles a couple more times and my wife cleaned a couple more times without complaint. After that, my father always walked on the clean tiles after the floor was dry.

I prepared an ashtray for my father because he smoked, but he never used it. In addition he would always throw his cigarette butts and spit on the floor. Master said in Zhuan Falun, "Our school of practice directly targets one’s mind. The key issue is whether you can take lightly and care less about the issues of individual gain and interpersonal conflicts." I knew it was to eliminate my attachment to competitiveness. I tried hard not to be angry and wiped his sputum off the floor and picked up his cigarette butts without complaining. After a few more times of doing this, my father then put his cigarette butts into the ashtray and stopped spitting.

I am a businessman and spend much of my time delivering goods. My father would always scold me when I returned from working, no matter whether it was summer or winter. He didn’t care if I was tired or hungry; he would use whatever terrible words came to mind. I exercised tolerance and managed to contain my anger every time.

Once I was very exhausted and hungry. When I arrived home, he cursed at me because he had not eaten and had no water to drink. I went out to pick up water; suddenly I became so enraged with anger and resentment that I wanted to fight my father. I then remembered Master’s lecture. Master said in Zhuan Falun, “Therefore, from now on when you come across a conflict you should not consider it a coincidence. This is because when a conflict occurs, it will take place unexpectedly. But that is not a coincidence—it is for improving your xinxing. As long as you treat yourself as a practitioner, you can handle it properly.”

Why did my father repeatedly yell at me? When I was persecuted by the evil Chinese Police, my father had no fear when facing them. He asked them to let me go home. Why did he curse at me repeatedly?

Master said in Zhuan Falun, "What we lose is actually something bad. What is it? It is karma, and it goes hand in hand with different human attachments. For example, everyday people have all kinds of bad thoughts. For self-interest, they commit various wrong deeds and will acquire this black substance, karma. This directly involves our own minds. In order to eliminate this negative thing, you must first change your mind." I realized that Master was trying to improve my xinxing. My attachment to the competitive mentality was so strong that I even wanted to fight back when my father yelled at me. My forbearance was not true forbearance because true forbearance has no temper or anger. Master wanted me to eliminate my competitive mentality completely. I then went to my father’s bedroom and listened to his curses. My father was tired and sitting on his bed. I sat on his bed to listen. He cursed at me for a long time. After some time, my father suddenly stopped cursing at me and never did it again! I know my change made the environment around me more peaceful. I had improved my xinxing.