Your Choices In 2012: Bush-Fiorina, Bush-Whitman or Bush-Haley

So let’s say this is how
it goes down. Jeb Bush has the south locked up, right? Florida
already is one of the big four states, with an expected 28
electoral votes after the census. Texas might have as many as 38,
but obviously that’s a done deal for a Bush. John McCain’s not
running, even if he’s still standing. Everyone hates Mitt Romney.
Then there’s… uh… Eric Cantor? Oh, excuse
me, how did the bottom of the barrel hit me in the nose so soon?
And Mike Huckabee has already been vigorously throwing Jeb Bush’s
name around on the air for ages now, so there’s 1. him out and
doing TV and 2. his weird very Democratic yet super-McCain-voting
state. (Okay, whatever, a mere 6 electoral votes.) Now, running
mate! Since California and New York’s 85 or so are Democrat for
good, that’s a big block you have to take down by getting, well,
every single other state, right? And he needs a ton of cash.
The cash burn on this puppy will be unprecedented-it’ll make
Hillary Clinton’s campaign look like a bunch of fiscal spending
conservatives. Seeing as there’s no way the actual real Republican
party is going near that Sarah Palin chick, plus she has the
highest negative name recognition since, um, anyone named “Bush,”
plus she really doesn’t have a good money base, that’s not it. So
what does a Republican ticket need to partner Bush with? A lady,
because it’s fashionable now and to neutralize both Palin and
Clinton, who will be out on the road campaigning. So basically you
just decide who’s less wacky at the time: Carly Fiorina or Meg
Whitman. As long as it’s someone who helps get him Indiana and
Ohio, North Carolina and Virginia. We’re going with Meg Whitman. Oh
God, wait! Nikki Haley!
She’s got money, and Palin will campaign for her. Boom. Done. BUSH
III. Believe it.