In the course of a conversation during the closing, a seller with an unpleasant reputation decided to unleash her vile in my direction.

By the reports of three others at the table, she’d left the house a disgusting mess, which I referred to (in a monotonous tone of voice) as “not the broom-clean condition required by the contract.” For that characterization, she felt compelled to call me nasty a couple of time, and bitch a few more times.

At first, I tried to say that this was “not personal,” and was “purely business.” However, she glared at me and said, “This is personal, and I won’t have a bitch like you accusing me of being dirty.”

She could keep spewing, but I wasn’t going to listen, so I walked out the conference room door (doing so had no effect on my client, as there was a bank-driven delay in the proceedings).

Funding was delayed and Ms. Malicious’ attorney had to leave before the closing ended— though not before apologizing profusely for his repugnant client (out of her earshot). After he left, the seller made it clear that she had places to be and demanded her money. Not surprisingly, everyone ignored her.

A while later, the lender’s counsel beckoned me into her office to ask permission to release the portion of the funds that had been wired, so that Ms. Malicious could get on with her day. Since my client and I would have to remain behind until all closing issues were resolved, I didn’t give the authorization for the Queen of Mean to depart.

She sat in the waiting room and stewed for another 40 minutes. Oh, well.