Every woman knows that there are days when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands! This is a handy guide that should be carried like a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!

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When Conrad decided to leave The Hills, she considered dyeing her hair brunette so her producers couldn't coerce her back in front of the camera. "I went into a wig store and tried on a brown wig, and they all laughed at me, all these women [who worked there] were like, 'You look like Hannah Montana.' " So today, in a quest for a little peace and quiet, if not complete anonymity, she agreed to don a brown wig as a social experiment for Bazaar. Off she trotted to paparazzi haunts in West Hollywood and Beverly Hills to see if she would still be mobbed by fans and cameramen from TMZ. "The last three concerts I went to, I was removed by security because I was a fire hazard. People crowd around you and you lose that whole personal-space concept."

In front of the Marc Jacobs store on Melrose Place, tourists gawked while 15 paparazzi came out of the woodwork and frantically snapped away. It may not have needed local-police intervention, but "it was a bit of a scene." It wasn't just the wig that had onlookers confused and excited, it was L.C.'s transformation from typical California girl to glamazon. "Normally, if I was walking down Melrose, I would be in sandals and skinny jeans. This was a whole look. I think initially the wig threw people off, but they figured it out. I felt like it only disguised me for a moment, and then it made me feel like I was hiding, which made me feel silly."

The paparazzi photos of L.C. immediately hit the blogosphere. Fans erupted in a chorus of cheers and jeers. "Love the brown hair. Hate the fake tan" "I love it!! It is sooo cute" "It brings out her eyes, which are gorgeous" Others weren't so positive. "She looks like a drag queen"

"I can only do blonde. Everything else makes me look sort of plain-Jane."

Indeed, it is the golden locks and girl-on-the-make spirit that has earned Conrad, a self-proclaimed multitasker -- "I'm a writer slash designer slash TV personality. I think Tori Spelling's one too" -- a huge fan base as well as a reported $75,000 per episode. Her last chapter of The Hills aired on May 31 and sent Conrad into the wild blue yonder of writing young-adult books and designing a new fashion line for Kohl's, to be launched in October.

Conrad says many of her personal decisions during filming were contingent on the production schedule of The Hills. "My roommate went to Europe for two months, but I couldn't take a vacation without clearing it months and months ahead of time. My friends all got to date guys who didn't need to sign a release form."

"It literally affected the underwear I had to buy because I needed thicker underwear with a more sturdy band so it could hold up a microphone. I couldn't wear whites or prints because they don't look good on film. I had to consult a director of photography when I picked the paint for my walls because I had to have set lighting in my living room and kitchen. I had to have separate birthday parties for my filming and nonfilming friends. It's a closed book. I'm done. Against everyone else's will, I'm trying to take a break."

The reality, however, is that "they" -- meaning Conrad's people, perhaps, or the American public -- "want me right back on television. You know how quickly the attention goes away." (Case in point: Her Laguna rival Kristin Cavallari jumped to take Conrad's place on the show, which returns this fall.) "It doesn't worry me. I'm looking forward to it."

It's that affable, self-effacing nature that has turned Conrad into a star of the reality genre. "Imperfection is relatable. If you look at the show, there are a lot of skinny girls with big boobs, and they're always perfect. I don't think perfect is relatable. I've screwed up a lot." Indeed, she has screwed up so often, she wanted to publish a book titled How Not to Date "and basically write down every mistake I've ever made."

What does she think of Pratt's rumored decision to pose for Playboy? She pulls a face. "They're not going to pay for themselves," she says -- in a sly reference to cosmetic enhancements?

Would Conrad pose? She cringes a bit, then asserts, "Everyone makes those choices and wants to do different things. I just don't have any interest in showing my body in something like that. That's a little personal." Nor would L.C. eat a bug on television or show up on a beach in Mexico wearing a face mask for a photo opportunity in response to the swine-flu epidemic, like the Pratts have.

"The face mask on vacation: I don't know if it was so funny because people really were being affected by that disease, but otherwise Heidi and Spencer are very entertaining. You have to laugh."Does she think Speidi harbor ambitions to foster a Brangelina-like love-in with the press?

"They're completely different. The next time Angelina and Brad go shopping in the market and Angelina holds up two melons and smiles for a photograph, then they will be similar.""I don´t call magazines and let them know about things so they can write stories. There was never an incentive to keep doing The Hills so I could get into Les Deux. That was never the point. It was more to create a fan base so I can go create a business and do something I really love doing."

Eventually, Conrad would like to produce television -- perhaps a scripted show based on L.A. Candy -- and she believes she'll ultimately return to reality television as a host. "I'm comfortable in front of the camera, but I can't act. I definitely aspire to be someone like Tyra Banks, who's created an empire for herself."

Some would say she's well on her way. Just as many of her high school friends are finishing college degrees, Conrad sees her experience as her own rite of passage, "I kind of just graduated from my show."

"If an actor leaves a show, they go on to play a new part and a new character, I'm not moving on from a character. I'm not going to play a new part." Lifting the brown wig from her head, she adds, "I'll be me before and me after."