Don't Fall in Love In College

Don't let the cute stranger buy you a shot of tequila.

Kristin Doherty is a junior at Drake University. She is the debut columnist from Cosmopolitan.com's contributor network. Find out how you can write for Cosmo.

Don't fall in love in college.

Don't let your gay best friend take you to the campus watering hole for the first time on a Tuesday night in mid-October of your freshman year. Don't let him introduce you to a cute stranger.

Don't let the cute stranger buy you a shot of tequila. When he buys it anyway, don't take a whiff of it so you know what you're getting yourself into. Take the shot of tequila (come on, it's college and it's Tuesday night), cough, and suck on that lime until you need to gasp for air. Don't give in when his friends start chanting, "Kiss him!" Don't let him take your number.

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When he texts you asking to pregame with him on Halloween, don't go. Pregame with your friends. Have fun getting all dressed up and do each other's make up. Don't drink too much and wake up half-naked on the bottom bunk in his dorm room. When he asks you out on a date, still half-drunk, the morning after, don't say yes — or, god, at least wait till he's sober.

Don't let him take you to the chicest restaurant within two miles of campus, because when you inevitably break up, you'll never be able to go back to that restaurant without thinking of him, and it's got a damn good brunch deal.

Don't bring him back to your dorm room and let him turn on a stupid movie like Fantastic Mr. Fox or Wallace & Grommit. But let him kiss you before the opening credits even end because, let's be honest, you didn't want to watch that movie anyway.

When he tells you he loves you in November, don't believe him. Don't say it back.

When he leaves to study abroad in Italy or Spain or France but probably Italy, don't beg him to stay with you. You can't make it work. Don't plan to Skype once a week and don't Google "long distance relationship tips." He will want to hook up with Italian girls and suggest a Ross-and-Rachel-style break before he even leaves. So when a cute frat boy asks you to dinner on Valentine's Day, go with him. You were on a break!

Don't agree to Skype him the first time he says he wants to catch up. Don't get back together.

When he gets back in May, don't say something stupid like, "I don't ever want to be with anyone but you." Awww-barf.

When you become attached at the hip, don't plan your future around him. Don't plan to graduate a semester early so you can move in with him as soon as is socially acceptable to. Plan to graduate on time with all of your friends and have a good freakin' time during your last four months as a fake adult.

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When you land a kick-ass internship in a big city the next summer, don't do the long-distance thing — again. Try not to miss him so much that you don't get out and meet other people. Don't decide you'd rather live in the Midwestern suburbs with him than shoot for your dream job.

When you're finally back at school together, don't be that annoying girl who spends every waking moment with her boyfriend. Don't spend more time with his friends than your own. Don't let yourself gain 10 pounds because you think he'll love you no matter what. Don't spend every Friday night watching Storage Wars with him, flipping to Say Yes To The Dress during commercials.

Because when he freaks out about grad school and breaks up with you five days after your 21st birthday, you won't know what to do on Friday nights anymore. Don't spend that first Friday at that campus watering hole, drinking too many sex on the beaches. Don't nonchalantly tell your best guy friend you're single by asking if it's acceptable to use your ex-boyfriend's Netflix account (the verdict is still out).

Try your hardest not to freak out about your whole life and family and career because your plans fell through. Don't start asking yourself who you are and where you belong and what you are even doing.

When you do freak out, don't pursue your best guy friend. Don't kiss him on Halloween and wake up half-naked and half-drunk in his bed on Sunday morning. When he asks you on a date to that same, chic restaurant, for the love of everything, don't say yes.

Don't pretend that you're ready to move on and don't pretend you don't think about him anymore. Don't wonder who you are without him — just be who you are without him.

Or just skip all the messy stuff in the middle and don't fall in love in college.