I said BOO

It’s Halloween.

It’s Friday.

I know a lot of you are putting on your costumes, going out to parties and all but I’ve got one thing to say.

BE CAREFUL.

Seriously. I’m not trying to put a damper on anyone’s spirits but it’s Halloween and it’s Friday. Ya feel me? You put those two together and it’s guaranteed people are going to be pissy drunk acting the fool dressed in a costume. Don’t do anything stupid that will get you locked up cause they will keep your ass in jail until Wednesday so you can’t vote. (I’m sorry. I’m an undercover conspiracy theorist)

And watch out for the little kids. Please. It is Friday and parents will probably allow trick or treating to last a little longer than usual so just be extra careful when driving.

Me, I’ll probably man the crib and be the candy distributor. I had trick or treating duty last year. I like deciding who gets no candy when they show up with no costume. Parents, if you come to my door and stick your hand out for candy and say it’s for your other child who couldn’t make it, you’re getting a screw face and then I’m going to introduce you to the door.