Country Living Series

Friday, November 29, 2019

How to be a jerk

While doing a bit of online research on the subject of gratitude, I came across a progressive advice column ("Dear Prudence") with an extraordinary letter as follows:

"Thanksgiving will soon be here. Each year we gather for a festive and warm time at my parents’ home with my siblings and all our spouses and children. My family are Christians who are active in the Episcopal Church. Faith is a very positive experience to us and inspires us to be good to others. My husband is an atheist. Last year, to everyone’s shock, he volunteered to give the blessing at Thanksgiving. However, instead of a prayer he took us all by surprise with a two-minute rant about 'the myth of God.' Everyone was upset, and it ruined the meal. My husband just sat there with a grin on his face and ate. This caused numerous arguments between us since. I respect his nonbelief but not his in-your-face approach.

Last night he just informed me he plans to wear a T-shirt to Thanksgiving this year with a dead frog nailed to a cross with the words 'He died for you.' Well, we had the fight to outdo all other fights. Still, he insists on wearing the T-shirt for all to see on Thanksgiving. He admits he wants to see my family 'blow a gasket.' Please give me some coaching on how to be direct with him. Frankly, Prudence, if he follows through with this childishness it may cause me to leave him."

The point is not that this woman's husband is an atheist (I know plenty of polite, civilized atheists). The point is her husband is a jerk. This is one instance where I actually have to agree with "Prudence" -- divorce the guy. There's trouble ahead.

23 comments:

I do not often comment on stuff like this but fundamentals must be established.

First off, this is Slate magazine, the most forward of the communist propaganda machines of the left media who get their 4 am marching orders from the globalist elites. Ever notice that every single headline has the exact same wording?

The whole story, like 99 percent of everything they publish is fake news and made up. 6 major companies own 100 percent of the news media. Who directs these 6 organizations. Food for thought.

Do not get your panties in a twist over this, it is made up.

Moving on...Marriage is a bilateral, fundamentals belief in common values. Yes, some like me, get roped into what I call false marriages by outside shared values that are not conducive to a long a and happy bond. One should always consider this but when young, we don't as we go on how we feel today and not how we will feel in 7 years. That is why most marriage bonds fail in 7 years of "knowing" someone. Takes us 7 years on average to figure out, "this is not who I thought they were".

This is just another Slate slather piece to divide us. Do not fall for it. I'm quite sure it is all a fabrication.

This young man needs to be un-invited to the family gathering. If he looks forward to watching them blow a gasket, and gains joy from their distress, then he is not their friend and doesn't belong at their table. She should leave him home and leave hot dogs in the fridge for him to eat alone on this,to him, ordinary day since he holds them in such utter disrespect.

I agree. He would not be welcome in my home after the prayer offering until he apologized and I believed he was sincere. My home is my refuge from the evils of the world. One can have a opposing belief but they may not be disrespectful of my personal held beliefs in my own home. That said, I want to believe it is fake. My husband would have thrown out the jerk in a moments notice. No one stood up and said anything. I have a hard time believing this account of such a thing.

It’s too late for pre-Thanksgiving advice. If that jerk carried through on his plan, the answer is not divorce (at least not yet), rather for the family to inform him that he’s persona-non-Grata for any future Thanksgiving celebrations. Prudence is still welcome, but not Mr. Jerk.

Prudence made a mistake to marry Mr. Jerk. But unless Mr. Jerk becomes physically and/or emotionally abusive to Prudence, is there good reason for a divorce? There’s still hope that Mr. Jerk will come around. 1 Peter 3:1

I rarely comment but felt compelled to do so in this instance. I in no way condone the husband's behavior and agree 100%, he is a jerk. However I'd follow up by stating that the wife should not be surprised with what she got. Scripture makes very clear we are not to be unequally yoked. The little bit of background provided does lead readers to believe that she grew up with her faith, not coming to faith after being married. Why is she surprised by her husband's behavior? God gives us very clear guidelines for many areas of life, marriage being one of them. OK, I'll duck now and get ready for the backlash! But just remember, don't get mad at the mailman if you don't like the mail. If you don't like criticism of being unequally yoked, take it up with God.Tim(fromOhio)

As described the behavior was disgusting. Whenever someone offers a blessing of the meal I play the part even though I am a non-believer. And therein lies the problem. Is it being a jerk to offer a blessing when a non-believer is present? Why not? I have heard blessings that go on for minutes if not days. How is that being considerate of other people's beliefs? Would you offer a Jew or a Muslim a ham dinner? Why then offer a non-believer a prayer?

My home my rules. I wouldn’t expect a non believer to pray at his home because I were present. I wouldn’t visit a home where I thought the other persons beliefs would offend my God. When out in town I give everyone grace as to what their beliefs are as I hope they would allow me as well.

Don't you think it's a little presumptive to label this obviously arrogant idiot as a Progressive?

Like to think that wasn't the intent. I am a Progressive who believes in our social programs (SS, Medicare, medicaid...you know...the stuff we all paid into). Why wouldn't anyone want to those things? (Democratic socialist - not communist socialist)

Let him wear his shirt, but give the family a heads up about his purpose. Then treat him as nothing is amiss. All he wants is an audience to show his contempt. Take away his enjoyment. Then if he wants to misbehave, that is his choice. The family can then choose to leave him at the kids' table and move to the adult area. I have used the same advice on a family member. He blew up, but we all just ignored him and carried on as if he wasn't there.

This is in line with Slate's standard operating procedure, much like that of a Hearst news paper, but instead of having a dead body on the front page with some ghastly headline over, Slate prefers to stoke people up for click-baity "advertising impressions" types of purposes.

And it worked, because you have a link to it.

Might I suggest using something like archive.is so you can show a sample of the click-baity stuff while not giving these click-baity people the benefit of the clicks?

Chances are very good that this story was the invention of one of their staff, that the particulars are an amplification of a traditional "bad holiday" click-baity story, and that this never actually happened.

So, what would that make Trump Jr. soliciting his Twitter followers to record the reactions of liberal Thanksgiving guests when deliberately “triggered” by confrontational political language, and offering a “prize” to the best submission?

Assuming her Father is elderly, if this guy was my brother-in-law the problem would have been corrected last Thanksgiving.

The real lesson is for men and women pondering marriage. “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14 KJV