Advice: 10 Tips for Easy V-day Shopping

I’ve worked at a fancy candy store for three years now–this will be my third Valentines Day here’s my top 10 do’s and dont’s for a better shopping experience. Some of these might seem like no-brainers to those of you who were raised with manners!

from WikiMedia Commons

1) Do remember that it’s busy because it’s the day before/day of Valentines Day. Don’t be shocked when you see the line out the door or ask me why it’s busy. 2) Don’t try to haggle prices with me, they’re already set. If I alter the price I’ll get fired and then I’m screwed. 3) Do read labels and attempt to use common sense while reading products. Yes, the 19 piece box has 19 pieces in it. 4) Do know that your fashion faux paus amuse me! I try not to judge, but wearing an Ed Hardy jacket, fake diamond labret piercing, fake purple nails, and asking me for a cham-pang-ney truffle makes it difficult. 5) Don’t comment on my weight. It’s rude and invasive. Just because I’ve worked here does not mean I eat our products all the time. 6) Do be polite if you want better service. Bonus points for please and thank you. 7) Don’t make me explain five pieces of candy in detail and then opt for the milk truffle. Do shop early if you want an exact product! We tend to run out of smaller boxes, cherry cordials, and raspberry flavored products first. 9) Don’t get mad at me when we’re out of a product. I can’t just snap my fingers and make it appear! (See number 8.) 10) Most importantly, do realize that this job pays the bills for me. Contrary to what you may believe, this isn’t my dream job. Please treat me like a person who has a life other than getting you overpriced and unsustainable candy.

Happy Pointless Consumerism Day and enjoy shopping for your partner(s)!