Fergie, lurgy and the panic pandemic

The government coped with that. Not brilliantly, but could you have done better?

We are not comparing like with like. No one is measuring consistently.

If I dropped dead in Germany, the cause of death would be recorded as cancer. Here it would be coronavirus.

We have a unique set of circumstances affecting our population: Density, Diversity and Obesity to name but three.

Still the government built us new hospitals.

Did we use them? No.

How ungrateful! What a spoilt family London is. We badger away, like kids at Christmas, demanding a new facility.

Then when we get it we don’t use it. Oh mum, it’s in the wrong postcode.

To paraphrase Jane Fonda – what if they threw a Germ War and nobody came?

Now all the luvvies and their literary agents are on about The Second Wave.

We’ve had it already.

Stage Two of the Covid Calamity has already unfolded.

The Second Wave did all the damage. But it wasn’t an organic virus. It was living in our heads but it was a virtual virus – in the form of a mass panic.

A ‘Gotcha’ (I believe that is the collective term) of media misanthropes hatched an infinite brood of What-If scenarios.

What if common sense goes out the window? What if a meteorite hits us? What if we lost the capacity for rational decision-making? What if the Midlothian Question gets into the water supply?

There were so many nightmares to imagine that Robert Peston was limited to one self-aggrandising question per press conference.

In the panic, genuine questions about PPE, procurement failures and the supply chain got lost.

The Second Wave – the panic pandemic – killed all the economic agents who would have paid for the NHS. Amazon won’t pay much tax.

The Germ War has empowered all the wrong people. The Chinese State, Amazon. The Stay Safe Stasi.

Stay Safe, indeed. Don’t you hate it when people say that?

It’s another way of saying, ‘have a boring life’.

I wouldn’t mind if there was some gain from all this pain.

But look at Neil Ferguson’s record. While he put us in a box he was getting out of his.

And all for what? His ‘Data Science’ has caused more misery than Hitler, HIV and the Hosepipe Ban combined.

His data projections have been very badly brought up. They don’t have any limits. His algorithms are too random. They need reining in. Like their author they can’t seem to keep a stem on their cryptograms, if you know what I mean.

It’s Ferguson we need to worry about, not the coronavirus. There’s no immunity to Fergie.

Stay Safe be damned! A pox on your stay-cation. I’m going Stay Crazy.

But the good news is, I think we’ve had the worst. We’ve survived ‘Fergie Time’,

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