It was the annual “Wind ‘Em Up and Let Them Go” Festival and all the comedians in the town had gathered to try their luck and see what they could do about winning the grand prize, the coveted Foot in Mouth Trophy.

Tommy had gone along to try his luck on the premise that his mum was always telling him what a funny boy he was. He was a bag of nerves which in itself would have been a great gag had he realised it at the time.

It was soon his turn and out onto the stage he strode. This is what happened:

Tommy: ‘A horse walks into a bar and the barman says: Why the long face?’ Instantly there is raucous laughter around the room.

He goes on: ‘Because my family have just been killed in a nuclear explosion.’ People are by now rolling on the floor. Tommy thinks this is going well.

He tries again: ‘And our mum had just made us a batch of Mulligatawny soup.’ By now there is near chaos in the room, people are on the floor, crying tears of joy and back slapping each other.

Tommy stands there soaking it all up. The laughter dies down and he stands and bows to the audience. They are suddenly silent. They are all looking at Tommy waiting for his next joke.

Tommy doesn’t have another joke and so he bows and leaves the stage. There are howls of protest and the Master of Ceremonies pushes him back out onto the stage.

Tommy very embarrassed by all this looks around and then says: A horse walks into a bar and the barman says: Why the long face…once again the room descends into hysteria…..so Tommy keeps going……