This is the spiritual journey of me, Eccles, my big brother Bosco, and my Grate-Anti Moly. Eccles is saved, not sure about Bosco, and we've got real problems with Anti.

This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles

Sunday, 20 July 2014

Time to get nasty about ISIS

In general, this is a somewhat friendly as well as spiritually nourishing
blog. We do occasionally tease one or two backsliders - for example,
Tina Beattie the preposterous professor, Michael Campbell the
bullying bishop, Vincent Nichols the cardboard cardinal, Richard Dawkins the
drivelling don, and George Carey the absurd archbishop - but these people are
not evil through and through, and our comments are kindly meant.

"Caliph" Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi - or "Piggy" as he is known to his friends.

However, once in a while one has to write about real bastards: if
Charlie Chaplin was able to mock Adolf Hitler in
The Great Dictator, then surely Eccles can get
uncharacteristically nasty about Caliph Piggy, self-styled ruler
of the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS), and
an Allah-fearing Sunni Muslim?

"Sunni" Hundal Jim, Piggy's second-in-command.

To be fair, Piggy is mad as well as bad - and I am not going to mention his
disgusting personal habits, his loathsome infectious diseases, or the fact
that he smells like a dead rat. Our hero
is planning to march on Rome in his quest to establish an Islamic State across Europe.
However, we know that there is no chance of that, as President Obama is on the case!

Obama takes charge of the crisis.

You may have heard the parable of the wheat and the darnel (or tares) in church today.
It's all dressed up in agricultural metaphors, but the basic plot
is that God sends Jesus down to the world to redeem mankind, and then
Satan sends Mohammed along to poison everything. Well, Satan is certainly
having a great time in Mosul at present, as the ISIS goes about its
business of exterminating Christians.

An Arabic "nun" letter, used to denote a Christian's house.

The above picture shows Piggy's idea of a smiley emoticon - or at
least a smiley as designed by a one-eyed cyclops. There is a school
of thought that says that the false prophet Mohammed - as well as being
nearly as obnoxious a character as Caliph Piggy - was in fact a one-eyed
cyclops. We could not possibly comment.

Could this really be Mohammed?

Oh, and late news has come in that President Obama has left the golf course and
is sorting out the situation. Contrary to what some people say, we do not
believe that Obama is himself a Muslim - this would be incompatible
with his own sincere self-worship. No, for him it is a matter of
complete indifference whether the Muslims massacre the Christians, or not.

5 comments:

Jess, you rightly make the comment on your blog, "Satire is dead." Eccles soldiers bravely on, but there comes a point where the subject becomes a difficult one for the satirist. I suspect that is the problem currently faced by 'Howdoingyou?' who seems not to have arrived in the Middle East, as promised, but is still stuck in Medjugorje, a bad place for serious prayers.

Not the first of his name to dither: 'She[Deborah] sent and summoned Barak...and said to him "Go take position at Mount Tabor, bringing ten thousand ..' Barak said to her 'If you will go with me I will go; but if you will not go with me I will not go'.(Judges 4.6-8).Deborah obliged and held his hand. Can't quite see Hilary Clinton in the role.

Obama seems to think we're on the cutting edge of history. Does he have in mind the predicted beheadings (Rev. 20:4) that are increasing? Obama may feel he'd never be targeted by ISIS. But isn't he afraid they'll soon conclude he doesn't have a good head on his shoulders? (For more on you-know-who, Google "The Background Obama Can't Cover Up.")

List of awards this blog has won

Best blog by an idiotBest blog by someone who is truly savedBlog most read by saved peopleCruellest blog attacking saintly pious peopleMost spiritual blog by a sockpuppetKieran Conry prize for virtue, modesty and humilityPottymouth Times award for the nastiest blog everStupidest pictures ever seen on a blogLeast read blog of 2015 (2nd prize to Bruvver Bosco)Tina Beattie medal for promoting orthodoxy"Utter filth" (Sheds and Shedmen, Croydon)

Bishop of Lancaster's cup for well-placed ad hominem attacks

Eccles has been named as one of the 100 most influential saved people in Notting Hell, by the prestigious Calumny Chapel Parish Newsletter.