Have better sex at any age

Great sex doesn’t have to be a thing of the past — even if you’ve been with your partner for decades. How, exactly, do you get your groove back? Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., answered some of our most pressing questions about sex. Listen to her sage advice about sparking intimacy after age 40, how to feel desire for your spouse again and why gadgets can interfere with sensuality even when they’re not physically in the bedroom.

How to give your sex life a reality check when you turn 40

“Do a checkup from your head down to your toes, and start with your mind, saying, ‘Am I enjoying it?’ And my heart, ‘Am I relating correctly?’ And then you get down to the functioning body parts that need to work for you. For example, as we get older, our skin loses a lot of elasticity that it has, and so if you’re having any pain during intercourse, for example, or any part of sex, you want to make sure that goes away. And sometimes vaginal dryness can do that.”

Quick ways for a woman to feel sexier in bed

“If you want to do something that makes you feel a little more sensual, how about getting a really sexy nightie? I think silk against your skin makes you feel really great. Get a dimmer in your lights. Change your bedroom a little bit. It’ll change your mood; it’ll change how you feel about yourself.”

Tips to reclaim romance from tech and gadgets

“Give yourself a no-issues zone, a quiet zone, maybe have a cup of tea together, a cup of coffee, a glass of wine, and say good things about the day, or just talk about things that are interesting to you. Take that deep breath, enjoy it together, and you’ll look forward to this moment all the time, as opposed to thinking, ‘I don’t want to hear all this stuff, I’ve had a tough enough day myself.'”

Tune in to the video for more suggestions about how you can get in the mood and, in turn, have the best sex of your life. (Yes, even if you’ve been married for years!)