'Bachelorette' Recap: Desiree Hartsock Is in Way Over Her Head

What. The. Heck? Seriously, people -- this season of The Bachelorette is nothing short of painful so far. And you know I'm, like, the biggest fan of The Bachelor franchise ever, so that's a pretty bold statement coming from me.

But holy cow -- let's just go ahead and put it out there. Desiree Hartsock doesn't have the faintest idea what is happening, and she's obviously never watched the show before -- because she's getting sucked into every cheesy play these guys make for her. I mean, I know she's been on The Bachelor, but has she ever watched or paid attention to any other season than Sean Lowe's?

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Let's start with Brooks. I won't lie, there's something about him I really like. But when he started to get all clammy and weird talking about his dad (and how he forgot what he looked like for a period of time), he lost me. But he totally hooked Des, which is kind of the point of the show, so who cares what I think?

And then there's Bryden. Huh. What can you say about a dude who winds up in a hot tub with a gal as good looking as Des and keeps repeating over and over again how great the night is without getting within 10 feet of her? I know he was probably trying to be a gentleman and all -- but it got to the point where Des looked him in the eye and said, "Just kiss me, already." Um, I'm no expert, but if you have to ask a guy to kiss you -- maybe he doesn't want to in the first place? Awkward. (Dude should want to throw you up against a wall. Just sayin'.)

That brings us to Ben. I know last week I was all gaga over him (like every other woman in America) -- but any guy who goes into the cocktail party with a rose and interrupts other dudes who haven't had a chance to talk to The Bachelorette yet is a jerk, plain and simple. Des should've known better than to fall for his little scheme -- and it should've sent up a major red flag that there is more to Ben than meets the eye, and not in a good way.

OMG. Poor Des. She's SO not cut out for this gig. And something tells me by the end of this whole deal, whatever waterproof mascara she's wearing won't come close to holding up.