Three mice were sitting in a bar, each trying to impress the others
with how tough they were.

The first one said, "When I see a mousetrap, I deliberately set it
off, bench press the bar fifty times, then snack on the cheese."

The second one, not to be outdone, said, "Yeah? Well, every morning
when I get out of bed, I stir some cream and rat poison into my coffee.
It gives me a good buzz that really wakes me up and gets me going."

They both look at the third mouse who, after a few seconds, gets up
and says, "I don't have time for this bullshit. I've got to go home and
shag the cat."