Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Channeling Athena

Not too long ago, while not being able to sleep and fiddling on the internet, I found Brave Athena. What really caught my eye is the quote that she has at the top of her blog:

If you're a large woman in America, your whole life is an opportunity to feel self-conscious, embarrassed, resentful and way too big. You can hide in the corner or on the couch, you can go to therapy, or you can put on your lycra bike shorts and get out there and move.—Jayne Williams, Slow Fat Triathlete

I love it! I'd been feeling so damn self-conscious lately. I've been on WW for over a year and haven't progressed much since the holidays. I committed to this bike ride 4 months ago - can you imagine what wonderful things I could have done in 4 months? Well, it didn't happen. So now I get an opportunity to ride with hundreds of other people wearing a cycling jersey that shows a little more of Curvy Beth than the world is ready for. It's hotter than hades up here (no central a/c, so getting home yesterday to a humid house temp of 85 was most unpleasant), and any movement outside of our window unit a/c is foolish. Joe's been out of town a lot, so that hasn't helped my funk.

Wah, wah, wah, woe to me.

I come from a long line of strong women - my great-grandmother lost her mother at a young age and had to take care of her siblings and her father early on. My grandmother (her daughter) lost her husband several months before their third child was born. This was during a time when single working moms were a rarity, and she supported her family as a teacher and put all three of her kids through college. My mom (her daughter) can paint a portrait or build a piece of furniture. She knits and has pretty good aim with her shot gun (I wouldn't test her on that, though - many a snake has suffered at the end of that gun). So all of these wonderful ladies are now yelling at me in my head...

Beth, this is from your upstate NY foster Mother, listen to "kelly the craftycat", we are what we are. I think you are a beautiful and wonderful and "wonder" person. I am going on 64 and I am finally starting to accept myself, I hope you do it alot sooner. It's always been there, you just have to see it and accept it. Love Upstate Mom