Rated 2.5 / 5 stars2010-03-27 19:42:07

grammar

I'm won't lie, the animation was pretty good and i liked the story, but you we're lacking in a bit of literary skill, like (for example) saying 'bound in undeath', I don't think that really works, as undeath isn't really a word to start with, and it sounds kind of 'wannabe goth/nerd' if you know what I mean. Also, at the start, you said 'about of' which doesn't make sense. It would be 'I know much about Jaque's life' or 'I know much of Jaque's life', not both in the same sentence. Last of all, it would have been nice to put the end rather than just leaving us with a white screen and music playing suggesting that the story is still going, which (as I eventually found it, it wasn't.
So there you have it, that's my opinion. Sorry for being such a grammar nazi but that's life. You make a flash movie, you gotta be ready for criticism, good or bad.