'Come on chaps, it's time to go! No? More packing? A few laps round Silverstone? OK then' ... Long Way Down. Photograph: BBC

Ewan McGregor and his mate Charley Boorman are off again on their big motorcycles. Last time they went east, now they're going south, from John O'Groats to Cape Town. Long Way Down (BBC2 Sunday), they're calling it.

There's something lovely about two friends deciding to go on a road trip, spontaneously, hopping on their bikes, hitting the open road, heading south like swallows in autumn, maybe not even telling anyone they're going. Easy Rider, Che Guevara ...

But this couldn't be more different. Ewan and Charley have an enormous team of people working for them - line managers, visa fixers, medics, security experts, sponsors. They have a warehouse in central London. And two enormous 4x4s, covered in their sponsors' logos, which will follow them, stuffed to the brim with spares, tents, medical equipment, guns, and more people. This is a convoy, practically an invasion. It's more Shock and Awe than Jupiter's Travels. Yet still they screw up. Ewan falls off his bike going through the Bush. Fair enough, it's not easy riding a bike through Africa ... No, the Bush, as in Shepherd's Bush, in west London. He comes off and breaks his ankle, and has to miss a family skiing holiday. Because we haven't even set off yet. It's taking them six months just to get ready. Six months! And in this first episode, we get to watch their preparations. Packing TV. Hmmm, fascinating.

Packing and hugging, which Ewan and Charley do a lot of . Any excuse for a hug - a joke, a tiff, a new bike - and Ewan and Charley are wrapped round each other.

They go on survival courses, off-road driving courses, Ewan goes to hospital to sort his ankle. They look at maps of Africa. "It's a country that's sort of like the last mad place in the world," says Charley. Actually Charley, Africa's several countries, all joined together. You even point that out - that it's a common mistake that people think it's just one country, so why are you making the same mistake yourself? And maybe think about dropping the definite article from The Sudan. This isn't 1907 and you're not wearing a pith helmet.

Come on chaps, it's time to go! No? A bit of a repack first? OK. A couple of laps of Silverstone? Why not. A hospice visit, a family barbecue, interviews with mum and dad, more goodbyes, more hugging, much more hugging, still haven't left the UK yet ...

A small confession: I'm a bit of a boy. I love motorbikes, and big trips, the open road, all that stuff. But there's nothing in Long Way Down for me.

No Plan, No Peace (BBC1, Sunday) was a scary investigation into how America and Britain totally forgot to consider what might happen after they invaded Iraq, and the country's subsequent descent into chaos. It's a depressing piece of television, documenting a catalogue of screw-ups, missed opportunities and oversights. Basically, a lot of people who should have known better didn't know very much at all, it turns out.

Some of it is so jaw-dropping that it's comical. My favourite revelation comes from an American woman who was part of the team sent in to rebuild the country just after the fall of Saddam. "We were using a Lonely Planet guidebook from sometime in the early 90s," she says. "It's a great guidebook, but it shouldn't be the basis of an occupation."

You can image them, arriving in Baghdad in their huge SUVs, a bit like Ewan and Charley's team.

"Al-Diaffa sounds good. 'Service can be slow, but the kabab kubideh is excellent. Recommended'."

"Let's give it a go. It should be right here ... But there's just a big crater."

Or maybe with a bit of free time on their hands ...

"I don't get it, it says here in the 'Things to Do and See' section, that the Iraqi National Museum shouldn't be missed, with 'an important collection of ancient artefacts, coins, ceramics, and treasures'. I was even thinking we should probably do something about safeguarding it for the future of the country. But the place is completely empty. Another lie. This book is rubbish!"

Actually, Ewan and Charley's team may have done a better job - they've certainly got the resources and the manpower to rebuild Iraq. And they're far better prepared. And they could have gone around hugging insurgents. Peace restored.