Pastor uses horse penis to ‘cure’ homosexuality

Yes, I know, let’s get this low-hanging fruit of a joke out of the way before we begin: hung like a horse. There, I didn’t enjoy that and neither did you, but . . . Let’s just move past this, okay?

In case you weren’t 100 percent sure that reparative therapy was complete bullshit, a Virginia church is promising to “cure” men of their homosexuality by — and I swear I’m not making this shit up — making them jack off horses. Oh my fuck.

The Cowboy Church of Virginia, led by chief pastor Raymond Bell, believes homosexuality and other “addictions” can be cured by Equine Assisted Psychotherapy.

Horse therapy, in the right hands, can be used to help overcome fears, develop communication skills, and is generally beneficial to mental health.

But Bell says the horses in his church, a cowboy ranch in the south, are part of teaching men to stop being gay and encourage them to be more masculine. [Source]

Wait, so they’re trying to cure homosexuality by replacing it with bestialisty? The hell? How is that better? That’s like trying to cure people of their left-handedness by making them punch orphans in the face with their right hands: it doesn’t actually work, but it does probably make you a worse person.