Thursday, December 6, 2012

55 hours later and counting ...

"All you need is the
plan, the road map, and the courage to press on to your
destination." - Earl Nightingale

After 55 hours of travel, I had finally arrived in Bali ... and man was it
sweaty!

Like all other international
and domestic flights that come through Bali, I landed at Ngurah Rai Airport.
The airport was small and frenzied, but smelled like burning incense, which I
liked. Even the airport is considered a place of worship. The smell of incense
also reminded me of my Dad. I remember when I was a teenager, he went through
an incense burning phase and our whole house smelled of it - often. It was
totally bizarre at the time, but in that moment that familiar smell became a
comforting memory.

Despite a slight ATM snafu
and quick anxiety attack, the airport entry was rather quick and painless. I
purchased my $23 (approx. 250,000 Rupiah) entrance visa and made it through
immigration in no time. Actually, the man who cleared me was probably one of
the nicest people I've ever met. He greeted me with a warm smile, proudly
showing off his crooked teeth, and kept welcoming me to Bali. Not your
run-of-the-mill immigration experience, no doubt. Regardless, it was comforting
and he put a much needed smile on my face. After collecting my luggage, which
also survived the journey, I headed to the exit.

When I exited, there was a
mob of airport porters and Taksi drivers. It was quite overwhelming at first,
so I was thankfully greeted by Peter, the Volunteer Solutions Bali program
manager. He's Indonesian, nice, thankfully spoke English and humored me in
responding to my barrage of unfocused questions.

The Taksi ride to the
Volunteer house took us about 90 minutes to central Denpasar. Clearly the
Balinese infrastructure is not much to be desired. In fact, everything looked
as if it was under construction with no plans of ever being finished. My guess
is that many projects are started and lack of proper planning and funding
quickly becomes an issue. In addition, driving is totally unorganized and
overwhelming. There are no real traffic laws, thousands of motor bikes swerved
recklessly through each lane, and the air was humid and filled with exhaust. It
all made driving through the Lincoln Tunnel look like child's play. Not the
best first impression, unfortunately, and it was a challenge for me to initially
see the beauty that hid behind a thick wall of commotion.

I have to admit, while
driving through I had a lapse of real self-doubt come over me. My emotions got
the best of me and I thought I had made a huge mistake. After coming all this
way, I was ready to turn around and head home. Being alone in such a foreign
place became such a harsh reality, that let's call it what it was ... I
experienced a total freak out. What the hell was I doing? Why would I leave
everything that was so familiar to experience such discomfort? Why did I
need to come all this way? What was I trying to prove? How can I find
peace of mind in this utter chaos? Why would I chose to come to a place where I
had no friends, no connections, no phone, no grasp of the language, and the
'icing on the cake' ... no idea where I was going.

The unknown made me feel
totally helpless, out of control and vulnerable. Feelings that I spend most of
my life trying to avoid. It was clear that I was faced with yet another one of
life's little tests. How badly did I want this experience? How determined was I
to stay and face the unknown? How resilient would I be in this state of
weakness? How strong and courageous was I really?

It was also clear in that
moment, that I was faced with one of life's little jokes. As I looked out the
Taksi window, I saw it. A family of 4 piled on to a small little Honda scooter,
that was clearly only made for two. The eldest was on the back, then the
mother, then the two little ones in front. Regardless of what you think of her
parenting skills, I mean no doubt that this would not fly in the States, here
it was totally the norm. What came to mind, after the unsolicited
snap-judgement, was the thought that if this little kid could look forward,
brave the traffic, and have fun in the process ... well, then I was certainly
capable of doing the same.

So just like that, with a
few deep breaths and the beginnings of a smile, I faced forward.