About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

I actually thought the right wing would take this a little bit better than they are. I just got really freaking depressed for like three months when Kerry lost so I figured they would just be sad for a while. To see the fact that they are literally losing their shit before our eyes is truly glorious.

SayItWithWookies

They’re all wrong, just like General Shinseki was.

snig

Since his taxes will likely go up, he has to cut back on his use of the space bar and appropriate capitilization. When the Marxist Muslims come to power, it always the whiney talentless link-farmers who are worst hurt.

magic titty

Does Drudge have the runs??

demian

speeling. yr doin it rong.

organiccoffee

You know those wingnuts who always spam the blogs with “OBAMA R MUSLIN AND EATSBABIES! HUR HUR HUR”?

Turns out this whole time, it’s been Drudge. Never even saw it coming.

cal

WTFOMGKTHNXBYE

Lionel Hutz Esq.

Jim, Obama is a European Socialist, don’t you know. That ain’t Muslim, that is Esperanto.

shortsshortsshorts

He’s fucking drunk. Leave him alone.

Lionel Hutz Esq.

The interesting thing is that there is no story. It seems that Msr. Drudge must have had a stroke and just typed out his last hope. The one thing I’ll give him is that it is more coherent than anything Hannity says.

And the fact that Drudge has moved off of “Obama is a secret socialist” story shows that that wasn’t working.

[re=151746]rocktonsammy[/re]: That is because the answer is obvious. Of course FNC is wrong.

[re=151778]OffTheRecord[/re]: El Rushbo was on Greta Van Squint Eyes (the Republicans are so spooked they took Greta off missing blonde child duty) and he spent most of his time attacking other Republicans for saying bad things about Palin. And on CNN, they just spent the past five minutes talking about all the sniping going on between the Palin and McCain camps.

It’s glorious.

jagorev

Remember how all-powerful Drudge seemed to be at the start of this year? Remember how Hillary Clinton had a special staff member just for Drudge outreach? These days, he can barely even move the news cycle an inch, no matter how many sirens he unleashes. The problem is, there’s real news happening in the world, and Drudge has no idea how to deal with that. He keeps throwing his partisan bullshit talking-points, but they’re just not sticking like they used to. No uptake in the mainstream media. Watching Drudge slowly his mind and influence has been even more fun than watching the ongoing implosion of the GOP.

organiccoffee

[re=151812]PoliTacky[/re]: And I thought this whole time AOL chat rooms were strictly the land of Republican Congressmen.

jagorev

Oh, and Ashley Todd was, I think, the final nail in the coffin of Drudge’s credibility. A grateful nation thanks you, Ms. Todd.

S.Luggo

If Drudge took the time to take the burro dick out of his mouth, we might be able to understand him. Not that he would want to: meaning the former, not the latter.

facehead

[re=151814]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: OMG UR SO HAWT!

Dreamer

It would be poetic justice if an Obama win drives some wingnutes to complete madness. I would settle for Drudge – it would be fun to see him mumbling on the street “But he should’ve lost. Whites will never elect a black president.” That would be bonus.

I am usually not this mean but I hate these mingnutes particularly today.

Texan Bulldoggette

[re=151813]Q2[/re]: Why is Drudge such a Republican? It’s not like any of them (other than Mark Foley & Larry Craig) would piss on him if he was on fire. His pandering to those assholes just makes him look sad–like the equipment guy on the football team trying to get the jocks to like him & invite him to the jock parties.

wheelie

foxpalinwingnutsmooniestormfrontaolpoliticalmachinecommentz would beg to differ, Matt.

Keram2

[re=151778]OffTheRecord[/re]: What scares me is how hard it’s going to be for Obama is going to be able to govern this country with a whole buncha race-baiting rednecks calling him an “illiterate muslin socialist black panther” at every presidential function. Seriously, unless you consider cooking meth a “job,” most of these mouthbreathers are unemployed and have nothing better to do than follow around Obama for four years, passing out “racialist” pamphlets in the parking lots and fucking up assassination plots. Ugh.

newhampsha

alphabet soup: ur doin it wrong

Neilist

Troubling that Drudge is suggesting Hopey stand up out in the open like that.

Given that the .50 cal. Barrett sniper rifle — much favorited by “survivalists” and “target shooters” — well over a mile.

Just saying . . . .

brain meats

[re=151753]Liverspots[/re]: You complete me.

PoliTacky

[re=151818]organiccoffee[/re]: (shhhhhhh! Don’t tell the Republican congressmen, but on AOL, Drudge is known as “MattyMontana95,” the shy 13-year-old boy of their dreams!)

[re=151762]ky-jellydonuts[/re]: Is he still wearing that? I can’t believe anyone ever took that guy seriously.

Itsjustme

[re=151832]Neilist[/re]: More troubling to me is that you know that. Just sayin…..

slappypaddy

Does Matt not have the courage of his convictions? Will he not stay the course? Come on, Matt—do it for the Gipper!

PoliTacky

[re=151814]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Is that some kind of kinky underground acronym porn?

superandystar

i’m confused. where’s his story? …he must be curled up in a ball, sobbing uncontrollably.

rambone

I’m assuming that Drudge is just throwing a hissy-fit after learning that Walnuts! is gay.

He probably concluded this after tasting shit on McCain’s dick.

Neilist

[re=151840]Itsjustme[/re]: Only dumbredneks use a Barrett.

The .416 Cheyenne is better ballastically, and comes with its own computer so that you can program in for things like the rotation of the earth; muzzle, mid-range and target cross-winds, etc.

And it’s legal out here in California.

You know, for “target shooting.”

hockeymom

I need my fellow Wonketteers to talk me off the ledge.

I spent a couple of hours watching FOX today to get an idea of why my neighbors believe what they believe. It’s incredible…every interview (even Shep, to an extent) starts with the premise that Obama is a radical liberal who is going to steal your money, then goes downhill from there. Actually, I’ll take that back. Major Garrett delivers his packages without any spin. Any every discussion of polls starts with the sentence “polls are tightening”…even if the rest of the story would suggest otherwise.
At the end of the day, I was left with the feeling that Obama was losing. Despite ample evidence to the contrary.

Then, I see this crap the RNC is putting out about Franken. Trust me when I say this will work in Minnesota. My dear mother who still lives in the state says she’s voting for Barkley because something about Franken “just isn’t right”. And this is someone who marches for gay rights and raises money for Planned Parenthood. Coleman’s numbers probably won’t rise, but Franken is going to lose votes to Barkley and it will cost dems a pick-up in congress.

THEN I see that The Tinkster is only about a point ahead of Bachmann. Not a wide enough margin, in that part of the state.

THEN, we learn that yet ANOTHER bunch of crazies were planning to take out Obama. (not to mention people in Iowa are flat out shouting the N word at Palin rallies now).

I keep going back to Nate Silver’s site…to look at the little sliver of pie that shows the chances of McCain actually winning…but it’s not helping.

Please tell me this is going to end well and I’m being hysterical. Because I kind of feel like throwing up.

fatherfigure

I guess he used up all of his space before he reached George Allen.

Professor McAwesome

Matt definitely needs stop giving republican handjobs while typing.

Neilist

[re=151849]hockeymom[/re]: You need to go “target shooting,” Mom. Very relaxing.

Delicious

[re=151849]hockeymom[/re]: Don’t sweat it. You’re reacting the same way a Hannity nut would react to watching Olbermann. But put both sides to the side, and the objective reality is a crushing loss for the GOP on Nov. 4.

Professor McAwesome

“that’s not the kind of hhhaa haaa haaannddd job we can believe in!”

OffTheRecord

[re=151827]Keram2[/re]: As someone who lives amongst the crazies (Kentucky) I have thought about this a lot. They are armed and I am not. I should probably be worried about this because logically they’re going to come after the liberals who live near them first. But I’m not. These people are damn stupid. I think the secret service can take them. Hell I could probably take them (I’m crafty). Plus, they are just worked up about it now cause it is interrupting their Nascar/Judge Judy/Wheel of Fortune. The majority of them are going to forget who is president in a few months and go back to screaming at the damn Jeff Gordan.

Rodney Badger

I don’t understand the attraction. His website is shit. It’s just a collection of headlines that people feed to him.

S.Luggo

[re=151827]Keram2[/re]:
If Obama wins (and I emphasize “if”), it will take two years for the NASCAR nation to calm down after seeing that Barry has not appointed Run DMC, NWA, and Snoopdog to cabinet positions.
Were we as open as the Irish. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EADUQWKoVek

Rush

Off topic but let’s giving our Editors a “whoop there it is” for having 26 posts today. That, after posting on the weekend. Ever since they outed that fatso chick in Pittsburgh with the “B”, they seem to be on some contact high. Careful, bitches those who fly too close to the sun…

HuskyMescan

I’ve known about Drudge Report for years, but I’ve never been to his site until today. Has it always looked like shit? The stories are on his site are nothing special and the links are terrible ( News 2 in Dinkleyville, AK). I get the impression he sucked a few dicks for one or two big hitters and rode on that fame (e.g. lewinksi ). Am I right? I’m not sure what the big deal is.

hockeymom

[re=151862]Rush[/re]: Huzzah!

Itsjustme

[re=151849]hockeymom[/re]: Yesterday I heard a black reverend from Texas say that Obama is a communist. Look him up, Reverend Melvin Johnson from Brazoria.

Then I open my mailbox and a friend has sent a bunch of stuff from Fox Watchers, religious stuff about Obama. Only this time the message is the Supreme Court. What next?

Rodney Badger

[re=151863]HuskyMescan[/re]: It has not changed since he first started posting 10 years ago. No redesign, nothing.

[re=151858]Rodney Badger[/re]: Tell us when you have mastered the use of nouns.

rambone

[re=151863]HuskyMescan[/re]: Once, a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, blogs were nonexistent and we were at the mercy of the MSM to find out what was new in the world.

Then, one day Drudge broke the news that a chubby slut by the name of Mah-Nikka Loo-in-Sky was blowing the Klin-Tone, thereby cementing Drudge’s place in the pantheon of journalistic greats like Walter Cronkite, Jerry Springer and Morton Downey Jr.

The End

HuskyMescan

[re=151849]hockeymom[/re]: Oh, don’t watch Foxnews! It does shit to your pineal gland. The effects of rightwing delusion are temporary and reality will slowly fade in.

I had 8th grade special ed students (think trig, just taller) who made better pages, and they were doing raw coding!!!

I mean FUCK drudge, spend some $$ on frontpage or something! or hire a 6th grade to make you pages!!

RobPetrified

Now how you gonna carve all them letters on the cheek of ONE chubby little teenage girl?
That Drudge boy is, as thay say in Texas, “losin’ it big time.”
I’m assuming, just for the sake of argument, that he ever “had it.”
Don’t forget, there are hundreds of boxer short clad key pounders out there in Bitterland who see him as the Alpha Male.
All right, I’m gonna go be sick now.

j6n

Translation: ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod!

Johnny Zhivago

[re=151806]twoeightnine[/re]: Let me explain… About 1-2% of every visit to a website generates a click on ads. If you get 250,000 views a day, you’ll make around $250,000 a year even if the content of the website is a cat litter box cam and your users are crazy old cat ladies. If your site attracts people advertisers actually want to reach, the haul can be much bigger.

The hard part is getting the 250,000 views a day.

dougbob

no they are not. you, drudge, on the other hand, ARE wrong.

Worlds End

[re=151865]Itsjustme[/re]: The religious nutjobs are out in force this week.

[re=151863]HuskyMescan[/re]: The first time I saw the Drudge Report was in 2003. My high school’s mock trial teacher showed me an article on Drudge’s “site” about how John Kerry had a secret, illegitimate child. I remember thinking that I could never trust a website that used motherfucking Courier font and had an online layout on par with that of the Off Track Betting Gazette Daily Shopper.

The Drudge Report: Internet for Old People.

Johnny Zhivago

[re=151849]hockeymom[/re]: My wife spent a few days with coworkers who are all Fox watchers and came home and say “I don’t know where you get this idea that Obama is winning, everyone I talk to says the race is neck and neck and McCain is pulling ahead”.

So it’s not just you.

hockeymom

[re=151875]HuskyMescan[/re]: Thank you. Thank you.

[re=151872]Professor McAwesome[/re]: OK…that made me laugh. Thank you…I would add to the list, maybe don’t watch the awesome Maddow. She kind of feeds the hysteria/depression thing.

Screw it, I think catlitterboxcam.com is still available so I can just register it and steal it outright.

rambone

[re=151884]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: You know, it kinda reminds me of the Iraqi information minister.

Assuming McCain loses, and loses big, my guess is that a lot of those Fox viewers will feel like the Arabs who thought that we were somehow going to have trouble waltzing into Baghdad. The Al Jazeera audience seemed heartbroken when Iraqis started celebrating in the streets and it turned out that many Iraqis actually did not like Saddam.

3-legged Bloodhound

[re=151849]hockeymom[/re]: You are the lights you think you see coming at you from behind. If you step back to let you pass, you’ll get by just fine.

S.Luggo

[re=151884]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: Were the coworkers sacrificing small pets at the same time?

ivenson

I saw this earlier, and as one of the resident comic book nerds on Wonkette, I thought…

Press: President Obama, are we really supposed to believe that this “iron man” is just some body guard that you have hired to defend you from the redneck skinhead hordes?

Obama: You know what? Nah, I AM IRON MAN!

(even better, he could be War Machine because he’s black…but that’ll have to wait for the sequel…and now I’ve alienated all but diehard nerds)

Crosseyed and Painless

My current favorite Drudge story is “Jury: Sen. Stevens guilty on seven counts.” Jury sure reads like a qualifier there. At least it didn’t say “”guilty” on seven counts.”

Quotation mark overload on my part.

Jim Newell

[re=151879]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: “If you get 250,000 views a day, you’ll make around $250,000 a year…”

Then why is it that blogs getting 400,000 views a day — HYPOTHETICALLY — make, um, “much less” than that?

naveed

[re=151747]Hairy Reed[/re]: He was thinking Politburo.

3-legged Bloodhound

Well, on the brighter side, Drudge does post a picture on his webpage showing us that Palin is still hanging in there. Also, now that a “more realistic” artificial heart has been developed by scientists, the blatantly fake one in Palin’s chest can now be replaced.

Keram2

[re=151857]OffTheRecord[/re]: Kentucky? Ouch. As a liberal who grew up in various parts of the midwest and the south, I’ll tell you that once they run you out of town for being a “child of sodom,” there’s always room for one more in Brooklyn.

This guy is a fire-breathin’, Jeebus-lovin’, right-of-Jerry-Falwell conservative, who also runs a scrupulously fair poll site–electoral-vote.com recommends him for those who don’t care for Dr. Tanenbaum’s style of leftyism. And electionprojection has called it. For Obama. Without any reservations.

Keram2

[re=151898]Jim Newell[/re]:

Step 1: Get 400,000 views a day.
Step 2: ?????
Step 3: Pro— No. I will not finish this joke. Some one does this joke everyday on this site and it’s no longer funny.

[re=151904]Keram2[/re]: And yet the quickest way to 400k views has to do with underpants.

3-legged Bloodhound

[re=151907]Marquis de Maude[/re]: Was that Geoffrey Jellineck?

GrammarCop

Considering we’re smugly superior lefties and all that blah blah blah … Can we please not get our jollies off by calling Drudge a homo?

A) We’re better than that. The man has enough legitimate faults we should have zero trouble finding cheap shots.
B) As a gay, speaking for every gay everywhere, WE DON’T WANT HIM.

WadISay

[re=151849]hockeymom[/re]: Think of Lord of the Rings. The forces of the Dark Lord are many and powerful and their evil is great. Just when it appears all is hopeless, they fall out among themselves. No, this time, the Hobbits will unmake the Ring of Power. Come in, we’ve got your hand, and have a good brew. TV next week will be better viewing, especially Faux.

[re=151930]3-legged Bloodhound[/re]:
Not until he sings “Hat’s off for Larry” from the next stall. . .

Chief Grinning Eagle

[re=151930]3-legged Bloodhound[/re]:
Not until he sings “Hat’s off to Larry” from the next stall. . .

3-legged Bloodhound

So are those Obama’s cheekbones or is he sporting Superfly sideburns?

HuskyMescan

[re=151882]Keram2[/re]: I guess Courier font and a dorky fedora makes him feel like a real journalist. It will be the end of the Drudge Report very soon.

hockeymom

[re=151902]gjdodger[/re]: Thanks for that….it made me so happy that I almost sent the guy twenty-five bucks, then I remembered Obama was going to spread my wealth for me, so I decided to just let the socialistic marxism kick in. He’ll get the money eventually. Right?

donner_froh

[re=151902]gjdodger[/re]: Lovely site–a nice bookend to fivethirtyeight.com. Same projection on the nationwide popular vote for both.

Keram2

[re=151910]j6n[/re]: Touche.

wonkthis

@ WithMySFValues: Reminds me of my toilet.

slappypaddy

[re=151849]hockeymom[/re]: Come on in, h-mom. In through this window here. We’re making hot cocoa, and we have brandy, too. We don’t even have a TV, but we’ve got all kinds of music. You like Glenn Gould, tinklin the ivories? Or maybe some swingin big band, up-tempo snd bright? Keren Ann maybe? Anything you like. Come on in. Your friends are here, we’ve got your back.

sailingthestyx

[re=151902]gjdodger[/re]: thanks for introducing me to the website…good place to go; seems very fair

SisterTruth

[re=151859]S.Luggo[/re]: Oh my gosh, the Obama is Irish song is the cutest thing ever. Hockeymom, listen to it, and it will make you feel better. (As an African American of Irish descent, like a lot of black people, I was kind of moved.) Any way you listen to it, it was adorable.

gurukalehuru

[re=151849]hockeymom[/re]: It’s going to end well. You’re being hysterical. Come in off the ledge.

SisterTruth

hockeymom: You’re not hysterical. This is scary because the dems always screw things up, but this time the repubs screwed up even more so it’s going to be okay. And in the spirit of gurukalehuru’s comment, here’s a little line from Shakespeare in love to cheer you up. Replace theatre business with politics. And replace Nothing with “except to volunteer and to vote”

Philip Henslowe: Mr. Fennyman, allow me to explain about the theatre business[of politics]. The natural condition is one of insurmountable obstacles on the road to imminent disaster.
Hugh Fennyman: So what do we do?
Philip Henslowe: Nothing [except to volunteer and to vote.] Strangely enough, it all turns out well.
Hugh Fennyman: How?
Philip Henslowe: I don’t know. It’s a mystery.

shortsshortsshorts

[re=152009]SisterTruth[/re]: I dont want, anybody else. When I think about you I touch myself (in a platonic, good natured and pure way you Nazi) oh. oh oh. I don’t want, anybody else oh no, oh no, oh no.

SisterTruth

shortsshorts: Please do not think of me when you masturbate, you psychotic loser. Leave me alone.

shortsshortsshorts

[re=152027]SisterTruth[/re]: Okay it is almost certain at this point that you are Tony the Tiger, the Gawker terrorist sent to destroy us all.

SisterTruth

shortsshorts: I’m not telling you not to masturbate. I think it’s very healthy, especially for someone like you who must find it very difficult to find a (willing) partner. Just leave me out of it, dear. Also, the Tony the Tiger insult means nothing to me because I’m not part of your club. Sorry, cela ne signifie rien.

shortsshortsshorts

[re=152032]SisterTruth[/re]: Did you know that you are currently engaging a pair of shorts in serious argument for some reason? For that reason alone I hope you find yourself before you vote. Remember Sister, your vote is only a week and a half away.

I bet you’re voting for the white guy, aren’t cha? You betcha you are. So now I will go back to masturbating all over my objects, that are not people, but merely toys that a person as deperate as I am can play with.
The better question is: where the hell did you come from? Are you the internet Messiah? I am confused these days on which Gawd to worship. Maybe you are that guy Nietsche told everyone about? That would be awesome! Imagine the Ubermof right here on Wonkette? Wow. We have all been blessed with an incedible oppurtunity.

Jim Newell

[re=152027]SisterTruth[/re]: I banned you on another thread so please shush here too.

[re=151763]spontaneousabortion[/re]: Jesus God, yes, I’m with Nate. That cute little lemur-looking motherfucker even has me rooting for the Rays to win the Series, just cause I want him to be right about everything all the time. And because I want him to be happy. Just because.

tremendous

is this a rhetorical question, drudgeywudgey?

Jukesgrrl

Were Drudge and Mann Coulter having sex on the desk again?

OkieHookerinEngland

[re=151975]slappypaddy[/re]: Can I come over too? I has a scared in England.

bitchincamaro

[re=151806]twoeightnine[/re]: ‘Which links are ads? ”

Drudge is the nets version of radio dinosaur, Paul Harvey. I can’t tell the difference between his “reporting” and his “selling”, either.

slappypaddy

[re=152064]OkieHookerinEngland[/re]: We’re sending a high-speed cutter your way, knifing through the waves at this very moment. Hail, Britannia.

Neilist

[re=152037]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Well, and you buggered up “Nietzsche,” too.

But I only know that because I wasted my junior year at Berkeley wading through the Hoffman translations.