A recruiter asked me for a photo of myself. Is this normal practice?

This afternoon I received a call from a recruitment consultant regarding a job I've applied for online. After some quite blunt (borderline rude) questions and comments about experience and how his clients might perceive my CV, he told me to fill in a form he was emailing me and that he would "do his best for me".

His manner gave me the impression that I wasn't suitable for the job and has left me feeling very low on confidence. He has also asked me to email him a photo of myself.

Is this normal? I'm not sure I feel comfortable sending my details to someone like this, let alone my photo. My partner and some friends have said there's no need for him to have my picture and that, after the way he spoke to me, I shouldn't send him anything and ignore future contact. But I need a job and don't want to ruin an opportunity if this is normal practice. Is this what to expect when dealing with recruitment consultants? Should I have a photo ready for job applications?

For the majority of jobs, it's neither normal practice nor necessary for recruitment consultants to insist that applicants supply a photograph of themselves. When photographs are required, it's usually made clear in the original advertisement. Given that this particular consultant had upset you by his blunt manner and impertinent questions, I'd be inclined to accept the advice of your partner and friends.

Unless this specific job is quite unusually appealing and appropriate, you're best off ending the relationship now. For all we know, this consultant may be absolutely straight and extremely competent – but your confidence is shaken, your trust levels low and you feel deeply uneasy. That's no way to feel about someone on whose judgment and professional standards you'd have to rely.

But it may be, of course, the job you applied for isn't just a job but the job – one that's right up your street and for which you're wonderfully well suited. Only if that's the case should you put your fears on hold and go for it.

My partner is losing heart at work. How do I help him stay on track?

My partner has been working in the health and leisure industry for two years, straight from college where he obtained some A-level-equivalent qualifications in sport over three years. However, the hours and the attitude of the management are getting him down. The prospects of a promotion are not good in the near future because, although he is valued, internal vacancies are not likely.

Even if he was promoted, he would still be working weekends and to a varying work schedule also involving early mornings and late nights.

Essentially he does not see a future for himself in this role. He does not want to return to a supermarket job, because he would like to use the skills he has obtained at his workplace, but he does not know where to take these skills or how to move forward in the leisure industry. I want him to value the abilities he has, and what he has learned from his workplace, but he feels that his future in work is bleak. He loves sport, is qualified in first-aid and lifeguarding and does not want to waste what he has achieved.

I'm guessing a bit here, but from what you say it sounds very much as if your partner feels dangerously demotivated. His hours and his management are getting him down, he can see no future with his company but he dreads the thought of leaving the industry he's in. All this is entirely understandable, but it can all too easily lead to a self-fulfilling defeatism.

What you need to do – and I do mean both of you; it's pretty clear that you're going to have to help him a lot – is make a couple of decisions and formulate a plan.

The first decision is to make the most of where he is. For all its disadvantages, he's working in the industry of his choice and every day is adding to his valuable experience. This is absolutely no time to jump ship without a more attractive one to leap on. Neither must he become so disconsolate that the quality of his work suffers. However much effort it takes, while he's still on the payroll he must continue to earn that pay.

The second decision is that the first decision is a purely temporary one: within a year at the outside, he is to have found a more fulfilling role.

And the plan? That's to spend a fixed and committed number of hours every week searching and applying for job opportunities. However difficult this is – and given his unsocial working hours, it's bound to be – you must be utterly disciplined about it. In fact, you should keep a log, in which you list hours spent, opportunities identified and responses achieved.

You should also invent a small reward for yourselves for whenever you've completed your weekly stint: some little enjoyable ritual that will help keep spirits up and optimism alive. The most daunting of prospects – clearing out the garage, sorting out seven shoeboxes full of family photographs, doing the Christmas cards – ­become a lot less so when shared. It's a bit like lifting something heavy: when two people do it, the object suddenly seems to become less than half its real weight. And a treat on completion helps restore some sense of wellbeing.

Searching for that dream opportunity will certainly be a daunting task. It isn't going to present itself spontaneously. You won't even know what it looks like until you stumble on it, so it won't be easy to find. So between you, take every relevant magazine, ransack the internet, chase every slightest hint of a social contact and stick religiously to that weekly regime.

If you work together, taking it in turns to feel depressed but never both losing heart at the same time, you'll find it eventually. And the very best of luck to you.

• For Jeremy Bullmore's advice on a work issue, send a brief email to work@guardian.co.uk. Please note that he is unable to answer questions of a legal nature or reply personally

Readers' advice

If you work a five-day week, you are now entitled to 28 days (5.6 weeks) of annual leave, not the 20 your correspondent is getting. The legal entitlement went up first to 24 days, then 28 days last October. This amount includes bank holidays. Your contract of employment may be more generous than this.

Check out adviceguide.org.uk for a Citizens Advice factsheet on how to work out what your entitlement is to annual leave.