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Eye Contact

People always rave about newborn babies' vision being just the right distance to see Mom's face while breastfeeding and about the joys of the connection when you can look into each others' eyes. Now, I love looking into my little guy's eyes, but it's NOT while bfing! Because it seems to me that to get a good latch & position, he is looking right straight at my breast, not at my face. Instructional pictures also seem to show the baby directed at the nipple, not Mom's face.

Sooo, does this change when they get older? Or do I just look into his eyes at other times and while breastfeeding, focus on his cute little ear and how much good the milk is doing him and how nice it is just to be close to him?

I guess I'm a little tiny bit disappointed cuz I was taken in by the media image of gazing at each other adoringly while I feed him. Somebody please tell me I'm normal!

Re: Eye Contact

Hi there!
Congrats on your new baby! You are correct; when a baby is latched properly, he can't look up at his mother very well. In fact, breastfeeding actually aids in eye development, because the baby looks up at you from the sides of his eyes!

My co-leader always warns new mothers about how the media makes it look like the mom and baby are gazing at each other and that it's not really how it works. But rest assured, as your baby gets older, you'll find that he interacts with your during nursing. He'll look up at you more, give you milky smiles, pat you. One of my nurslings twirled my hair in his fingers as he nursed, and I kept my hair long for quite a while just because of that!

Hugs
Jen

"Mothers are designed to be available to their babies--to help them make the transition into this big, wide world. To teach them to trust, and love, and feel good about being alive."

Re: Eye Contact

When my son was a newborn, he always seemed to gaze intently at a freckle on my breast, or at the black-and-white stripes on a shirt I often wore. Sometimes his eyes would seem to track something invisible as it moved across the room (always made me wonder if he could still see angels). We didn't have the eye-contact-while-nursing until he was a good bit older. So I guess for a while the loving gaze is sorta one-way, from mom to baby. That's still pretty great, IIRC!

Congrats on your baby! Let us know if you have any other questions or concerns.

Re: Eye Contact

I made a really silly mistake when I was 18 and got a tatoo on the top section of my cleavage (sp?) on my left breast.

Not until I realized how much baby loves to stare at this tat when she nurses did I actually mind having the tattoo! I'm glad somebody likes it cause if I had my way, I would be getting laser removal for it! It's kind of like her own personal piece of artwork now, which I find sweet!

Re: Eye Contact

That's good to know about not making direct eye contact. I also thought I was doing something wrong because my daughter and I can't really play the gazing game...until I read the responses to this post. Thanks for the real life words of wisdom!

Re: Eye Contact

Originally Posted by quakerm0mma

When my son was a newborn, he always seemed to gaze intently at a freckle on my breast, or at the black-and-white stripes on a shirt I often wore. Sometimes his eyes would seem to track something invisible as it moved across the room (always made me wonder if he could still see angels). We didn't have the eye-contact-while-nursing until he was a good bit older. So I guess for a while the loving gaze is sorta one-way, from mom to baby. That's still pretty great, IIRC!

Congrats on your baby! Let us know if you have any other questions or concerns.

--Rebecca

Rebecca,

After reading your post I cried for a while. I love the suggestion that the little ones can still see angels. My mother died on February 2nd of this year, and my ds was born March 25th. It breaks my heart that my mom is not here to enjoy my ds with me, but to think that maybe she is in the room, and he sees her while we are so close, well, its an incredibly comforting idea. During our next feeding, I plan on talking to my mom. Maybe I'll get an answer from her in my dreams.

As far as eye contact goes, my ds and I do have the opportunity to gaze into each other's eyes. I use the football hold almost exclusively, and I am also pretty (well, very) large chested. Maybe that is why?