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November 04, 2008

Election Day, the Good and the Bad

GoodI was able to vote easily and quickly with both, well-behaved (at the time) kids in tow.

BadI did not get to run because I was so worried about getting to the polls early and avoiding the kind of lines I stood in in 2004 for hours.

GoodMy state, Pennsylvania, and even my county (which typically votes Republican), has voted decidedly for Obama.

BadMy kids were crazy today (and really have been for the past few weeks) and since they were home from school I had to spend all day with them. I was really wondering what the deal was, too much candy? the weather? when I suddenly remembered that they are both at that half-year mark from their birthdays. A developmental stage that tends to be trying each year for us. Even though this made me understand their behavior better, I still couldn't wait for them to go to bed.

GoodMatt sent me this hilarious e-mail (my apologies to those who live in red states):

Dear Red States:

We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware,that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines, 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT. With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the war, the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

Finally, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.

Peace out,Blue States

BadBecause I am trying to be frugal and not shop as much, even for household things, I haven't been to Target for several weeks. Consequently, we are dangerously close to running out of toilet paper.

And on that note, I think I can safely go to bed without missing anything, this election is over.

I had not ever heard about this 1/2 year theory (which made me feel I was missing something in my education) until today, when someone pointed out that this could be Jack JAck's issue right now. And her name is Lori too/ Funny how things come up like that. doesn't make me feel better about him being awake from 12:30 until 4:00 am. Which is why i gave up sleeping and am commenting instead.

OMG you rock! And please, even though I don't know who Matt is, hug him for me. That e-mail is #2 on my list for today.

#1?...Thinking I had moved to a red state (NC), voting anyway, and finding out that my county turned the tide and made NC a blue state today. We also have a new Dem Governer and a new Dem Senator. Woah! seeing my vote literally and actually make a difference is heady stuff.