When Monsters Lurk in Every Shadow

Are you threatened by someone who has different beliefs than you?

Every year at Halloween, my wife and I lay in a supply of candy for the trick-or-treaters who come knocking at our door, even though neither we nor our children observe the rituals of the day. Only once did we fail in our preparations: that was the year we forgot to brief our four-year-old son on the creepy customs of this curious festival.

Shortly after dark, I watched from the window as the first of our nocturnal visitors arrived, alighting from a minivan that idled beside the curb and swiftly approaching our front door. The doorbell rang, and my son raced to answer it, excited only by the prospect of an unexpected visitor.

Imagine his surprise, upon throwing open the door, to find himself face to face with a 4-foot-high Frankenstein's monster complete with rubbery green skin, oozing stitches, and bolts protruding from its neck. Imagine further the surprise of our gruesome little guest when he stepped forward with his bag held open, only to receive a two handed shove in the chest and have the door slammed in his face by a ferocious four-year-old shrieking, "Monsters!"

Young Frankenstein took off toward his car at full flight, also screaming, "Monsters!"

We sorted the matter out and little Frankenstein got his Milk Duds, but it was a long time before my son was willing to answer the door again. That's a normal response, for a four-year-old. I have to wonder, however, if we aren't all spending far too much time peering out from behind our curtains and seeing monsters lurking in every shadow.

The simple minds of children sort out the dichotomy of their worlds in the most rudimentary fashion: us and them, superheroes and monsters, good guys and bad guys. And the good guys always wear white.

As we grow up, however, we should come to appreciate that the world is considerably more complex, that the good guys don't always look like us and the bad guys sometimes do. Unfortunately, by longing for the simplicity of childhood, many adults cling to an either/or view of the world as unsophisticated as a child's. And although childishness in children may be cute, in adults it is not only embarrassing, but dangerous.

The desire for a return to simplicity is easily understood. As technology and social evolution spin our world around faster and faster, people are seeking common belief, common culture, and common interest to steady them against the storm. Indeed, cultural continuity and a sense of community are among the most stabilizing factors within families and society. But when we begin to feel threatened in our own beliefs and insecure in our own cultures simply because others are expressing their beliefs and cultures in their own way, then culture becomes a battlefront across which enemies stand ready to attack.

The Talmud says, "Know how to answer a heretic."

One response to this kind of uneasiness is to become a universalist. "I'm okay, you're okay, and everyone else is okay, too." The only one not okay is the one who passes judgment on others. This is a comforting philosophy, which may explain its popularity. It also explains a report last year that teachers in high school and college failed to persuade a large percentage of their students to take a stand in condemnation of Hitler's Nazis: by refusing to concede that one ideology is better or worse than any other, the students eliminated the need of ever having to defend their own.

A second response calls for a good offense as the best defense. By attacking the shortcomings of others, I deflect attention away from my own. It doesn't take much imagination, either, since virtually every religion and culture has enough dirty laundry to provide any supermarket-aisle tabloid with a supply of juicy banner headlines. But all that soiled laundry, aired in the light of day, only feeds our mistrust and paranoia, without providing any direction toward cleaning up the messes that we have made ourselves.

The only reasoned response to cultural insecurity and, as such, the most difficult, is for all of us to study and learn about our respective cultures and ideologies well enough that we immunize ourselves against the xenophobia that results from ambivalence in our convictions. When I truly understanding my own identity, my heritage, and my beliefs, when I take responsibility for my faults and begin working to correct them, only then can I move toward confidently separating attitudes that are wrongheaded from those that merely differ from my own.

"Know how to answer a heretic," the Talmud says. You don't necessarily have to engage him in debate, but you do have to know, for your own peace of mind, why his beliefs differ from yours. Without such knowledge, we are helpless to discern what hides behind the masks all around us, helpless to recognize the difference between dangerous fanatics and simple neighbors, between real monsters and children whose only wish is that we add a little sweetness to their lives.

Visitor Comments: 10

(9)
Anonymous,
November 3, 2008 11:15 AM

Very disapointed in this article

This holiday has nothing to do with cute little children dressed in costumes, this was the holiday when they KILLED Jews under disguise, it's a Christian-Pagan ghoulish "All night souls" celebration. We as regular Jews have to fight hard enough not to succumb to the Christian environment, we don't need an esteemed rabbi to tell us that he partakes in this holiday, even though only in tangent.

(8)
Anonymous,
October 31, 2008 2:10 PM

Boundaries are healthy.

This is an excellent article. While it may be true that the origins of halloween have been diluted and played down over time, this isn’t a sign to celebrate the loss of meaning because that would encourage a mind set that “if it didn’t happen to me, I don’t have any responsibility to recall the past or to do anything about the influence the present has on the future”. My main concern these days is the outcome of the holiday – and just for the record, this used to be my favorite holiday of the entire year. For all of my life it was a holiday that never let me down, New Year's Eve never lived up to its hype, but halloween was always festive and fun. However, how long into my adulthood am I going to participate in a meaningless night where more often than not, people get hurt - either by drinking too much, partying too hard, or by careless stunts? Is this what America needs in a holiday?? More superficiality, distractions, carelessness, and reckless behavior? Are these the values we want to emulate or teach to our children? Am I an American Jew or a Jewish American? I can celebrate my Jewish Holidays in most any country, but if I were in Israel or Australia or Greece right now, would I be walking around in a costume to celebrate my American Holiday of Halloween?? No. If, chas v'shalom, a beloved family member of mine were to have been murdered or victimized on this holiday, would I continue to celebrate it in the way America says I should, with candy and parties? No, I would recall the legacy of my family member and commemorate their life because I have pride in being related and connected to the past through their memory. Since I am a part of the Jewish People, and Jewish people were attacked, killed and harassed during this holiday IN America...then why would I want to celebrate it or be a part of a day that has caused pain to my family? I don't think my belief in Hashem is too fragile to fear a child in a spiderman costume, but we aren’t talking about spidey, we are not that naïve. I do fear what continuing to down-play the significance of what being Jewish in America means to the Jewish People, let alone the values in American society.

(7)
suzi,
October 31, 2008 1:31 PM

evil spirits? really?

in response to muman613's comment, how much of evil spirits there really are in Barney and princess constumes? come on! i don't think the article or the issue has anything to do with representations. the issue is knowing our "costumes". especially for children, learning our traditions should come before "americana", whoever innocent it is.

(6)
Joe,
October 30, 2008 12:39 PM

Halloween, as it is today, is not pagan

Yes, of course, Halloween has pagan origins. I doubt that you could find a single kid in a costume who could tell you about them or who feels any connection to them. At this point, is is nothing more or less than a bit of Americana.
To those concerned about loosing their Jewish identities I ask the following question respectfully:
Is your belief in Hashem so fragile that you can be challenged by an eight year old in a Spiderman costume?
Is Hashem, master of the universe, so weak that He could be tumbled by an exchange of snickers bars?
What are you afraid of?

Anyomous _ Jerusalem,
October 27, 2013 8:10 PM

horrible holiday

I grew up in the States and think that Halloween is a creepy and horrible holiday. Witches, monsters, trick or treat, if they didn't get the treat they wanted there would be a "trick". Sometimes just chalking up the door, but the older kids would slash tires. We always had a big basket of candies, etc., that we gave out generously. Also, we made sure to be home, because who knows what they would do if no one answered the door, as happened here and there to our neighbors. And I grew up in a good neighborhood. No, we were not afraid of losing our Jewish identity, nor was our belief in H-shem fragile, chas v'chalila. We didn't want to be part of that "culture" and all that it stands for . We didn't want, and we were not afraid to say so, any form of assimilation. There is so much real, deep joy in Judaism that we weren't even attracted to that emptiness, which was actually repulsive to us. We just to stay happily at home, hand out the candy, and say, "Baruch Hashem sh'lo asani....."

(5)
muman613,
October 29, 2008 5:59 PM

Halloween is not the same as Purim

To a poster who posted previously.. Purim has NOTHING to do with Halloween. Purim is the day we read Megillah Ester which recalls the story of how Haman and his henchmen tried to obliterate the Jewish people from the face of the earth. The reason we dress up is because we are so confident that Hashem will save his people that we confuse the good and the evil {also why we drink alchohol}. The reason people dress up for Halloween is to act like evil spirits. The pagan origin of Halloween is enough to scare anyone into avoiding the day. I would advise anyone who wants to retain Jewish identity to remove Halloween from the schedule..

(4)
Joey,
October 29, 2008 5:04 PM

This was a very good analogy, and very true. God bless!

(3)
Ma. del Consuelo R. de Sabre,
October 27, 2008 6:42 PM

Be careful with children!!!

I think that It is not a joke to confuse children with traditions that come from wrong religions that give cult to other gods.

(2)
senlin,
October 27, 2008 1:48 AM

Interesting.

I think another part of immunizing ourselves against xenophobia is understanding what makes other people's beliefs, holidays, etc., appealing, and not necessarily dismissing everything as potentially dangerous (as our own beliefs and traditions, we should recognize, could also be "potentially dangerous"). Halloween is appealing because it's a chance to make fun of evil and kind of laugh in the face of danger. It's a symbolic way for people to show they won't be afraid of the evil around them, but can recognize the absurdity of it and even come close to be-friending it (this last part even seems relatable, in my opinion, to the Jewish tradition of seeing the yetzer ha'ra as something actually beneficial, if we "befriend" it). And Jews have their own parallel to Halloween, anyway: Purim. It's a similar idea of laughing at our most perilous situation, and even dressing up as the people or powers who terrify (or once terrified) us. Purim is a day when adults, in some ways, "return to childishness," too, and Judaism recognizes that this can be a good thing.
Of course, anything taken too far is dangerous. But I think it's important for those who don't celebrate Halloween to understand what it really means to those who do. It's not about "universalism", it's about truly understanding others so we can both treat them appropriately and recognize that they are also "b'tzelem elokim."

(1)
Joe,
October 26, 2008 2:00 AM

This was quite good.

I have a very dear friend who is in the same physics dept. as me. He is Jewish and rather proudly atheist/humanist. He and I go at it theologically (in a friendly manner) from time to time as a sport. I think seeing a fellow physicist who actually gets into being Jewish is a puzzle for him, but that is another discussion. Neither of us will convince the other of anything. Except one time.
He was arguing that the major problem with religious and cultural identity is that it automatically creates a seperate ",us", and ",them.", As a result, all manner of nasty things that you would never do to one of ",us", become possible to do to one of ",them.",
His argument was powerful becuase of its simplicity. You don't fight a man you fight a terrorist. Pick your foe from history. They are always labled something other than your fellow man. Killing an unbeliever is easy compared to killing Larry from next door!
I am giving the bare bones of an argument that was much more sophisticated than I have room to relay here, but the point is clear. If you hope for human peace, you must hope for human unity. So the question posed by him was, why create more division?
The answer I gave was:
Actually, belief in nothing creates the most division because there can be never be an ",us", on any scale. The best you will ever have is a group of individuals who all believe that they are personally right, but that they have no real right to stand for any of the truths they believe they have. Each of them will be an island - and worse there can never be a resolution to it, becuase nothing theological is really true anyway!
Moreover, if you honestly love your own culture - in a secure way, not in a weak way, then you will have greater understanding of those who love their own cultures. I said bluntly that I could not find other's literature, history or culture nearly as fascinating as I do if I did not love being a Jew first. I could not understand and respect someone else's love and respect for their heritage if I did not love my own.
My argument was also simple. If you are not afraid and you come from a place of love, it is easy to love others who are also not afraid and come from a place of love.
It is only the ones who doubt their own message that lash out at others. If you believe something is true, it should be able to stand scrutiny. If you believe in Hashem, you should realize He is a big boy, and that nothing is a particular threat to Him. The implication being that since I believe I have recieved truth from Judaism, hearing other ideas is no threat at all. If I am honest, and it is true then the exchange of ideas can only sharpen my understanding. It is then easy to not fear.
I went on to say that what comes from that is community, heritage and identity, which, when positve are actually bridges to others much more strongly than a common belief in nothing could ever be.
Only time I ever won one outright with him...

I live in rural Montana where the Cholov Yisrael milk is difficult to obtain and very expensive. So I drink regular milk. What is your view on this?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Jewish law requires that there be rabbinic supervision during the milking process to ensure that the milk comes from a kosher animal. In the United States, many people rely on the Department of Agriculture's regulations and controls as sufficiently stringent to fulfill the rabbinic requirement for supervision.

Most of the major Kashrut organizations in the United States rely on this as well. You will therefore find many kosher products in America certified with a 'D' next to the kosher symbol. Such products – unless otherwise specified on the label – are not Cholov Yisrael and are assumed kosher based on the DOA's guarantee.

There are many, however, do not rely on this, and will eat only dairy products that are designated as Cholov Yisrael (literally, "Jewish milk"). This is particularly true in large Jewish communities, where Cholov Yisrael is widely available.

Rabbi Moshe Feinstein wrote that under limited conditions, such as an institution which consumes a lot of milk and Cholov Yisrael is generally unavailable or especially expensive, American milk is acceptable, as the government supervision is adequate to prevent non-kosher ingredients from being added.

It should be added that the above only applies to milk itself, which is marketed as pure cow's milk. All other dairy products, such as cheeses and butter, may contain non-kosher ingredients and always require kosher certification. In addition, Rabbi Feinstein's ruling applies only in the United States, where government regulations are considered reliable. In other parts of the world, including Europe, Cholov Yisrael is a requirement.

There are additional esoteric reasons for being stringent regarding Cholov Yisrael, and because of this it is generally advisable to consume only Cholov Yisroel dairy foods.

In 1889, 800 Jews arrived in Buenos Aires, marking the birth of the modern Jewish community in Argentina. These immigrants were fleeing poverty and pogroms in Russia, and moved to Argentina because of its open door policy of immigration. By 1920, more than 150,000 Jews were living in Argentina. Juan Peron's rise to power in 1946 was an ominous sign, as he was a Nazi sympathizer with fascist leanings. Peron halted Jewish immigration to Argentina, introduced mandatory Catholic religious instruction in public schools, and allowed Argentina to become a haven for fleeing Nazis. (In 1960, Israeli agents abducted Adolf Eichmann from a Buenos Aires suburb.) Today, Argentina has the largest Jewish community in Latin America with 250,000, though terror attacks have prompted many young people to emigrate. In 1992, the Israeli Embassy in Buenos Aires was bombed, killing 32 people. In 1994, the Jewish community headquarters in Buenos Aires was bombed, killing 85 people. The perpetrators have never been apprehended.

Be aware of what situations and behaviors give you pleasure. When you feel excessively sad and cannot change your attitude, make a conscious effort to take some action that might alleviate your sadness.

If you anticipate feeling sad, prepare a list of things that might make you feel better. It could be talking to a specific enthusiastic individual, running, taking a walk in a quiet area, looking at pictures of family, listening to music, or reading inspiring words.

While our attitude is a major factor in sadness, lack of positive external situations and events play an important role in how we feel.

[If a criminal has been executed by hanging] his body may not remain suspended overnight ... because it is an insult to God (Deuteronomy 21:23).

Rashi explains that since man was created in the image of God, anything that disparages man is disparaging God as well.

Chilul Hashem, bringing disgrace to the Divine Name, is one of the greatest sins in the Torah. The opposite of chilul Hashem is kiddush Hashem, sanctifying the Divine Name. While this topic has several dimensions to it, there is a living kiddush Hashem which occurs when a Jew behaves in a manner that merits the respect and admiration of other people, who thereby respect the Torah of Israel.

What is chilul Hashem? One Talmudic author stated, "It is when I buy meat from the butcher and delay paying him" (Yoma 86a). To cause someone to say that a Torah scholar is anything less than scrupulous in meeting his obligations is to cause people to lose respect for the Torah.

Suppose someone offers us a business deal of questionable legality. Is the personal gain worth the possible dishonor that we bring not only upon ourselves, but on our nation? If our personal reputation is ours to handle in whatever way we please, shouldn't we handle the reputation of our nation and the God we represent with maximum care?

Jews have given so much, even their lives, for kiddush Hashem. Can we not forego a few dollars to avoid chilul Hashem?

Today I shall...

be scrupulous in all my transactions and relationships to avoid the possibility of bringing dishonor to my God and people.

With stories and insights,
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