The elders asked me what I shall do if a same-sex couple approaches me to do a wedding.

Others have asked me the same question.

I have also imagined what I would do if that happens.

Persuasion:

Should the world change the church or should the church change the world?

What do you think of this statement?

“As the world changes, the church not only must change, but part of our call is to lead the change if the change is toward greater tolerance and greater understanding” (Richard Füss of Newman United Methodist Church).

Are there ways in which we change with the world?

What did Paul say in First Corinthians 9?
19 For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win the more; 20 and to the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might win Jews; to those who are under the law, as under the law, that I might win those who are under the law; 21 to those who are without law, as without law (not being without law toward God, but under law toward Christ), that I might win those who are without law; 22 to the weak I became as weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all men, that I might by all means save some. 23 Now this I do for the gospel’s sake, that I may be partaker of it with you (1Co 9.19–23).

Where does same-sex marriage fall?

Is it a non-moral, non-scriptural matter on which God has not spoken?

Does it fall under the category of becoming all things to all men?

Same-sex marriage is a moral matter and the Holy Spirit addressed homosexuality in the Scriptures.

If He wanted to show same-sex marriages, He could have.

However, He did not, and never says anything good about it.

We have to remember what Jesus said in Matthew 5,
13 “You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men. 14 You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. 16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven” (Matt 5.13–16).

What does this passage teach?

It teaches that we change the culture, not that the culture changes us.

What I shall do if approached to do a wedding?

I shall handle it the same way I do a heterosexual wedding.

I ask two questions:

When is your wedding?

Have either one of you ever been married before?

If either one has, I read Matthew 19.3–9 to them,
3 The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?” 4 And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” 7 They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?” 8 He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery” (Matt 19.3–9).

As I read the text, I provide as little commentary as possible

so that the words of Jesus stand alone or apart from

my interpretation as possible, but

I know that people from the world

often need background information, and so I give that.

I affirm that I believe what Jesus taught.

I then ask the couple whether they believe

I can perform their wedding with a good conscience.

They will tell me one way or the other whether I can.

Some have become angry because I will not do their wedding.

Yet, I never tell them that their marriage

is unscriptural or anything of that nature.

What does this passage teach in regard to for whom is marriage?

Therefore, if the couple is of the same sex,

I will still read this passage, and

ask the same question.

I will make sure that they understand what Jesus said

about the beginning when God created man and woman.

I will tell them that I believe this passage.

I will ask them whether they think

that I can officiate their wedding with a good conscience.

It is certainly possible that they will press the issue, because

they will want to make a case of it, and

if that happens, I will just say that I cannot officiate at their wedding.

So, Clare, let me get this right. I can exercise my freedom of choice not to officiate at a same-sex wedding, and that makes me “irrelevant and ridiculous,” which is an unloving thing to say, yet, you claim to celebrate “the increase of freedom and love!”

1. In your first post, you predict that I will become, “ever more irrelevant and ridiculous,” although you do not know me, nor are you a prophet who has a direct connection to God, who knows all things and who knows the future.

2. Also, in your first post, you claim that you will respond to same-sex marriages, “By celebrating the increase of freedom and love,” although you do not extend freedom to me to hold whatever view I want to hold without calling it silly.

3. In your second post, you can judge me for being, “intolerant of an integral part of the person,” but I cannot decline to officiate at same-sex weddings without receiving your intolerance.

4. You, a man, can dress up like a woman.

5. And I am the silly one!

I have looked over web site, especially when you deal with the Bible. If homosexual relationships or marriages are perfectly acceptable to the Lord, where is the Song-of-Solomon-like book on homosexuality? Where is the Ephesians 5.22–33-like passage on homosexuality?

If Naomi and Ruth were in a homosexual relationship, and it was God-approved, why did they not marry one another? Why did Ruth marry Boaz?

In your thinking, when a daughter-in-law wants to continue to be a part of her dead husband’s family by staying close to her mother-in-law, they are involved in a lesbian relationship. That shows just how silly your thinking has become.

You are helping to create an environment where two people who are devoted to one another will fear speaking of their love for one another, because people like you will think it must be sexual in nature. How sad.

My friend, open your heart to the word of God, casting aside the ways of the world and casting aside your own feelings, and let the Lord guide your thinking through the Scriptures.

Two men binding their souls together has nothing to do with sex. Listen to the truth of Titus 1.15, “To the pure all things are pure, but to those who are defiled and unbelieving nothing is pure; but even their mind and conscience are defiled.”

Nowhere, not in anyway, does the Bible show that a sexual relationship existed between David and Jonathan. The Bible shows that sex should only occur in marriage, and David and Jonathan were not married, and they were not married, because they were both men. If they had a sexual relationship, according to your way of thinking, why did they not marry? They were good friends. Do you believe that simply because people are good friends, they are having sex? Are you having sex with everyone with whom you are friends?

You can find a sexual relationship in those words, because evidently you equate love with sex. Please reexamine your way of thinking on this issue.

You declare that the sexual relationship between David and Jonathan was pure. However, the Bible never says that they married, and when the Bible lists David’s spouses, they were all women. The Bible never lists Jonathan as a husband to David. The Bible teaches that sex outside of marriage is fornication, and condemns it, such as David’s encounter with Bathsheba. If David and Jonathan were involved in a sexual relationship, it was fornication because they were not married. Therefore, it was not pure, even taking your position!

Yes, I still have both hands and both feet, because I understand that Jesus taught us to take whatever extreme measures are necessary to avoid sin, whereas, sadly some people take whatever extreme measures they need, to find a sexual relationship between any two friends in the Bible.

We do not stone people for the same reason that we do not require circumcision as a matter of salvation (Read the Book of Galatians), they were both part of the Law of Moses, given to Israel to teach the world about sin and other matters, but Jesus, “wiped out the handwriting of requirements that was against us, which was contrary to us. And He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross” (Colossians 2.14).