The problem is, you’ve got a ballot to fill out and only 5 categories feature the new Disney franchise, which you will blindly vote for regardless of Episode VII’s chances. (John Mollo won for Costume Design in 1978 for Episode IV. How cute is young Mark Hamill!)

Here’s a very unofficial Oscar voting guide based on everything we know about this year’s nominees, and having basically seen none of them. Good luck!

So The Revenant with 12 noms is favored to win the top prize because Leo and Alejandro Inarritu and some crazy scenes with bears. But Brad Pitt produced The Big Short, making the financial caper-com a contender, and people really like Spotlight because it’s an issue pic (abusive priests). The Martian was so boring, don’t even, and Brooklyn? What is that. And some others. Our pick because we actually saw it and it was fantastic: Mad Max: Fury Road. One word: kinetic! Plus Tom Hardy, grrrrr.

This is a great group of women in a bunch of movies no one ever saw. Where is the nomination for Daisy Ridley, AKA Rey in Star Wars? Seriously, this girl is going places. We like Jennifer Lawrence in everything, Cate Blanchett in everything, and Charlotte Rampling in her twilight years, but Brie Larson has a BAFTA, SAG, Golden Globe and Critics Choice Award for Room so there it is.

Here’s another instance where we literally didn’t see any of the movies. Jennifer Jason Leigh is great, but will probably be punished for abandoning Hollywood for her band. Rooney does a stretch in Carol but we like her more action-y, while Kate Winslet apparently turns in a nuanced performance as Steve Job’s work wife in Steve Jobs, enough to earn both a Golden Globe and BAFTA. That leaves Rachel McAdams in the popular Spotlight, and Alicia Vikander in The Danish Girl. Vikander is the much meatier role, and we loved her in Ex Machina, so she gets the nod.

Like Donald Trump and the Republicans, Sylvester Stallone muscles over some perfectly competent supporting role candidates to win for Creed, in the reflected glory of not-nominated and black Michael B. Jordan. These are predictions, not judgments.

Animated Feature FilmAnomalisa, Boy and the World, Inside Out, Shaun the Sheep Movie, When Marnie Was There

Once again, you’ve only heard of the big studio ani, this time Disney’s Inside Out, which was super cute and took place incongruously in a crappy flat in San Francisco, and some kid’s brain. It’ll probably win. For purists, though, Anomolisa, in painstaking stop-motion, is this year’s pick and one small, brave swipe at Corporate Entertainment Hegemony and maybe SuperPacs.

Dean of DPs Roger Deakins (everything over the last 30 years from Sid & Nancy to Hail, Caesar!) got a sentimental nod for Sicario which nobody saw except those nominating cinematographers, while bear fights and claustrophobia earned nods for The Revenant’s Emmanuel Lubezki and The Hateful Eight’s Robert Richardson. But if voters are looking for both action and stunning desert lock-offs, John Seale earns the Oscar for Mad Max.

Documentary ShortBody Team 12; Chau, Beyond the Lines; Claude Lanzmann: Spectres of the Shoah; A Girl in the River: The Price of Forgiveness; Last Day of Freedom

We like the sound of Body Team 12, but documentary shorts that have anything to do with Judaism, Israel or your summer on the Kibbutz always win. It’s true, it’s true. Claude Lanzmann: Spectres of the Shoah documents the filmmaker’s epic 12-year production of Holocaust film Shoah.

Music Original Song“Earned It” from Fifty Shades of Grey; “Manta Ray” from Racing Extinction; “Simple Song #3” from Youth; “Til It Happens to You” from The Hunting Ground; “Writing’s on the Wall” from Spectre

Another bunch of movies you’ve never heard of except Fifty Shades of Grey and Spectre. This one’s between the song for doc The Hunting Ground by Lady Gaga and the song for Spectre by Sam Smith. Yes, you’ve lost the weight, Sam, but our heart belongs to Gaga.