Tracie Egan Morrissey

Dove had positioned itself as being morally superior to other health and beauty brands after launching its legendary Campaign for Real Beauty in 2004 and its non-profit efforts to promote self-esteem in young girls. As far as corporations go, Dove seemed like a good one—or at least better than others—with a positive message that stood out from the other body image bullshit and bad feelings typically marketed to women to convince them to buy stuff that will supposedly make them feel a little less horrible about the way they look. But the warm fuzzies that we associate with Dove are simply the result of a successful corporate image makeover that was advertised to us. And we bought it. The company's latest stunt marketing—in which a blind woman describes how she dyes her hair because of how it makes her feel—is demonstrative of how they've taken this whole "beauty is on the inside" thing to Mr. Show sketch-level proportions.

It's one thing to sell us soaps and moisturizers and talk about how there are variant definitions of beauty. Soap and moisturizers and deodorant are products that actually serve to make you feel better. But it's super stupid to try and sell us a product like hair dye, that exists solely to change the way you look—which would suggest that the definitions of "beauty" are actually much more narrow (and younger) than previously implied—and pretend that it's about anything else. In other words, don't pee on our leg and tell us it's raining. Don't manufacture drug store hair dye and sell us profound philosophy.