Dog Soldiers – Full Movie

So. TL:DR first – Invited over for “movie”,got a divine hatred for vanilla, woke up to husband at table playing WoW and baby crying. Took shower and booked.

Well, got invited over by a, who I thought was single, hot asian female. Had just met her the day before but her facebook checked out. Single: check! No Kids: Check! DTF: Obviously.

So, 10PM i get the message “Come over for a movie (Go rent dog soldiers), I know it’s late so why don’t you bring an overnight bag.” 19yo me is thinking “Hell ya! Pussy, nom.” So, I pack everything, go rent the movie and drive over. She meets me at the door, lets me in and we set up the movie.

So, movies playing and she is leaning on me, touching, the whole thing. Well then she says “My shoulders are sore, why don’t you use your big stron hands and massage them” So I tip my hat m’lady and begin the sexy shoulder massagge. She’s moaning and getting into it, looks me dead in the eyes and says “Choke me”.

“Uh… what?” 19 yo dumb ass me says “Did you ask me to choke you?” She’s all throaty voice about it “O yeah, this movie gets me all hot and I want you to choke me” At this point I’m just thinking, I’ve never done this… WTF do I do? So, with the loosest child grip I can attain I place my hand on her neck and start kissing her.

Well, apparently that’s good enough because pretty soon she asks “You have a condom?” 19yo me… “Fuck, no… Uhhh, you?” Immediately she produces one (We all know who fucks in this story)

So e are going at it, missionary, doggy…. and that’s when I realize, the condom is vanilla scented. I’m thinking ‘Meh, vanilla, not my first choice but not bad’ BOY WAS I WRONG. Still doggy it starts hitting me, the faster I’m going the stronger the smell is, the stronger the smell the more disgusted I’m getting so I try to finish fast, thrusting faster. This circular cycle doesn’t last long and I’m going flaccid, it’s going to happen soon and I don’t want to look like so idiot who just goes soft….

Boom, I know what I need to do. I start grunting “Ugh, Ugh OMG!” and then just o deep, do a few dick push-ups in her and pull out really fast. Rip the condom off and throw it away. (THAT’S RIGHT I faked an orgasm)

So then I’m thinking “Fuck, this place smells like a fucking vanilla candle factory” and decide, I won’t smell it if I’m sleeping. So I just lay don on the couch in my underwear and off to dream land I go, she cuddles in. Boom, I did gud.

Click, Click, Click I wake up and look up and there is a dude like 10ft away (3 meters for you wierdos). Just on his computer, WoWing it up. I’m thinking to myself ‘Fuck, I hope this dude doesn’t feel awkward’ and then she looks at me so I say “Hey, should we move to the couch?”

She looks me dead in the eye and goes “Nah, it’s just my husband”

So, uh…… Okay, I’m not dead so fuck it. Close my eyes and fall back asleep.

Couple hours later I wake up to a baby crying. She gets up and I’m thinking “Who’s baby is that and why the fuck does this place still smell like a fucking vanilla factory?!” Her kid.

I take a shower and get ready to leave. Turn around and she runs over, with the fucking baby in her arms, kisses me. Not a, have a good day kiss, a, I just got railed so let me fucking stick my tongue down your throat kiss. Needless to say, I left and she calls after me “Call me, lover boy”