Larry Birkhead’s attorney has told TMZ they will not be negotiating with Howard K. Stern. They want DNA and that’s that. She said the only thing they want to know is “how fast he [Stern] will produce the child for a DNA test and how quickly he will allow that child to go to California with her real father.” There were reports that Howard knows Larry is the father and is trying to cut some deal. Just go on Maury already like everyone wants. He’ll solve this mystery in 10 minutes flat and even have time to help a woman that’s afraid of oranges.

While Britney Spears apparently tried to hang herself in rehab after she scribbled “666” on herself, KFed was partying in Las Vegas. He had already scheduled an appearance at Revolution at The Mirage and showed up to fulfill his obligations while Britney’s mom cared for SPF and JJ. He showed up shortly after midnight, drank, played a few of his song and left before 4am. Witnesses say he was on his best behavior. He also got the “Britney” do. It’s pretty messed up that he’s seriously looking like father of the year in all of this. Maybe this is all some decadent plan! You know Britney was sick of us thinking KFed was trash…so she decided to become the trashy one to make him look better. That way when they get back together, we’ll think he’s Prince Charming. Yeah, far fetched. Source

There’s a little video floating around the internet of allegedly Dlisted favorite Kerry Katona touching her naughty bits all inside. First of all, I’m not sure it’s her. Second of all, if it is homegirl needs a straight-up wax. One thing that makes me think it’s not Kerry is that the woman is using the phone and touching herself at the same time. Kerry’s brain is not capable of doing two things at once. Click here to see the NSFW tape! VIA Totally NSFW

Xtina finally got herself a new look besides that tired 1950s trash. She looks like she actually belongs in this decade and I love it. I’m sure her husband is happy that he doesn’t have red lipstick all over his dick anymore. Well, that night anyway. Here’s Xtina at a concert this past weekend at Pure in the LV.