I've been with a virgin, but also a few girls who turned out to be very inexperienced, having only been with one person before and only once or twice. I find that that never really makes for a good time. Always better to be with someone that is comfortable and who knows what they're doing.

I prefer partners with experience but I loved my life partner deeply before we had sex. I agonized about being his first mainly because I didn't want him to look back and think he got robbed. He is glaring at me right now as I type this....

I went through a period in the 80s where I seriously fetishized virgins and was "the first woman" for literally dozens of lesbians.

I was young and egotistical and actually got off on the fact that I was creating a "template" for their future sexual encounters. (And in my mind, changing lesbian culture one lover at a time.) I had an entire list of things to do and playful slang for the hard-to-say stuff so that they could ask what they wanted. Analingus became "Butterflying".

I thought it was my duty as a sex positive feminist to destigmatize anything that seemed dirty or shameful like menstrual blood and anal play and toys. Also to teach every woman how to help her partner to bring her to orgasm by encouraging and training in hot talk that is actually instructive: Oh yes, yes, right there. Harder. To the left. More this. Less that. I love that!

I am way, way over the virgin fetish. Now when some cute thing leans on me and whispers "I've never been with a woman before." I say "Good luck with that." And move quickly away to find the woman who has been there and done that. A lot.

None... But there's a guy I'm sooo into right now and my sister has her suspicions that he is a virgin. I'm not sure how to approach the subject, though. He's 29 and says he has feelings for me. He then shuts off anything sexual. I guess I'll find out soon enough.