Lisa Heidke

Five Facetious Questions:

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1. Every writer spends at least one afternoon going from bookshop to bookshop making sure his or her latest book is facing out and neatly arranged. How far have you gone to draw attention to your own books in a shop?

Only one afternoon? The first time I sawLucy Springer Gets Even in a bookshop I had a mild panic attack and ran out, leaving my three children in the shop squealing, ‘Mum, it’s HERE! This is YOUR book.’ I got much better at seeing my books in shops after that – and yes, I go in and make sure my books are facing out and sitting in the best seller section. Having said that, I get upset when I see them because it means they haven’t sold and upset when I don’t see them because it means the shop’s not stocking my books…I am permanently tortured!

2. So you’re a published author, almost a minor celebrity and for some reason you’ve been let into a party full of ‘A-listers’ – what do you do?

I am my usually calm and collected self, until I’ve consumed three glasses of wine and start dancing on tabletops to Patrick Hernandez’s ‘Born to be Alive.’

3. Some write because they feel compelled to, some are Artists and do it for the Muse, some do it for the cash (one buck twenty a book) and some do it because they think it makes them more attractive to the opposite sex – why do you do write? (NB: don’t say -‘cause I can’t sing, tap or paint!)

I write because it amuses me and makes me happy (except for those wakeful hours between two and five am when I’m terrified I’ll never again come up with a believable character or plotline).

4. Have you ever come to the end of writing a particularly fine paragraph, paused momentarily, chuffed with your own genius, only to find you’ve been sitting at the computer nude or with your dress half-way over your head or shaving cream on your face or toilet paper sticking out the back of your undies or paused to find that you’re singing We are the Champions at the top of your voice, having exchanged the words ‘we are’ for ‘I am’ and dropping an ‘s’?

No? Well, what’s your most embarrassing writing moment?

My favourite place to write is my bed (I can’t believe I’m saying this…) so I guess my most embarrassing writing moments would be when my teenage sons bring friends home after school. They think of me as ‘the mad woman who lives upstairs in bed’.

5. Rodin placed his thinker on the loo – where and/or when do you seem to get your best ideas?

When I am watching ‘The Real Housewives of New York City’ and ‘Gossip Girl’.