Creating Naked & Unashamed Marriages

Why Me?

Christmas time should be a time where we come together and are filled with joy. However, there are those that regret this time of the year. Some of the reasons why they regret this time of the year is they do not get along with family, the are financially deprived, and/or they hurt because of people they have lost. Granted, this list is not all inclusive.

What do you do if you are one that struggles through this time of the year? This first response we might find ourselves uttering is “Why me?” This is not a negative response; rather, this actually is a great response. What is the first thing an alcoholic must do in order to overcome their disease? They have to admit they have a problem. The same is true for those that find themselves struggling. They must come to some conclusions on why they are feeling this way.

After coming to some conclusions, they must begin creating some solutions to these issues. For instance, lets say you struggle with the way your family makes you feel. One of the ways to fight against this is to find some items you can hold fast to in order bring clarity to your situation. Eleanor Roosevelt said it best when she said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

When life is gloomy, we must remember that the battle is within. Eleanor’s quote reminds of this as well. We are in control of how others make us feel or how we let others define us. I know this is easier said then done, but we cannot let others label us. If you struggle with this, then learn to write out a list of your great qualities and keep them where you can see them.

The next thing we have to remember when it comes to the holidays is that we are in control. There is nothing wrong with being honest with yourself. The old saying is true that we cannot select our families. This being said, if being around your family brings back to many bad memories, then do not be around them.

I know this is difficult because this is something I have to deal with as well. My mother and I have some issues, but I will not bore you with the back story. After several years of dealing with the negative way she was treating me, I had to stand up for family and myself. As much as it hurts, I had to choose my family, and my sanity, over a relationship with my mother.

My hope is that one day I will be able to reestablish a relationship with my mother. However, there are some things she needs to do before that will happen. In finishing this post, I want to point out that no one can blame others for their life. We are the makers of our lives, so if we don’t like the way it is turning out, then we must begin rewriting our future.