Why Do Men More Than Women Pay For Sex?

44 posts in this topic

dwanyewest 25

I dunno if this been asked before but I always wondered why there aren't as many hetrosexual male escorts catering for women. Why does anyone think women don't seem to pay for sex in anyway near the same numbers as men.

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MinxyLydia 1,480

Because we don't have to! If a woman wants meaningless casual sex all she needs to do is get online to an adult dating site, swingers site, chatroom or place an ad and be inundated with potential suitors!

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Pol Pot 21

Men are able to enjoy sex for its own sake, women need an excuse to have sex. Whether that is down to evolutionary psychology or supression of female sexuality, or a mixture of both, is a debate for another day.

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FantasyLover 91

Because we don't have to! If a woman wants meaningless casual sex all she needs to do is get online to an adult dating site, swingers site, chatroom or place an ad and be inundated with potential suitors!

You're correct, but I am sure there are also women who are not physically attractive or are excessively shy, who can't find suitors - even online. The interesting thing is that it is obvious they themselves do not create a market for desiring and paying for male escorts, as their male equivalents obviously do. I don't know whether it is a cultural/society/environment thing; whether some women have lower sex drives or they are more picky than men regarding sex and relationships, or if it is a moral issue- I have no idea.

But I'm sure those women, the potential female clients, are out there- they obviously just prefer a different lifestyle and are not prepared to pay for sex. I do know that there are specialist male escort agencies out there catering for females- but the potential market is very small. If you want to make money as a male escort you really have to be bisexual or homosexual. It's just another illustration of the differences between men and women and the differences in life experiences.

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MinxyLydia 1,480

I wrote something about male escorts a while ago- I don't think i am allowed to link it to my website- but here's the text of it:

There really isn't much of a market for male escorts, straight ones anyway, I've not looked into gay escorts so I have no idea really I'm only guessing.

Now, every escort will tell you that at some point they will get an email that goes something like this:

Hi babes, I am a male escort here on adultwork and I get loads of requests for couples and I wondered if you'd like to work with me? How about we get together and I promise we'll get loads of work.

Hmm, you mean you want to shag me for free and hope I'll get you work as a couple.

However this is marginally better than the I'm a male escort and if you fancy some mutual fun without each other charging let me know.

Yes, because I really don't get enough sex *rolls eyes*

I had a quick look at Adultwork to see how many male escorts catering for women there were and found 9,784 in the UK compared to 17,532 women catering for men which means about 30% of all escorts on Adultwork 30% are men which is actually higher than I expected.

However, on closer investigation I looked at the profiles of the 53 male escorts advertising in Hounslow. Most have no feedback at all, which doesn't mean they have never had a booking, but is a good indicator of how busy someone is. A few had feedback that was hidden and a few only had feedback as a client not a provider. None of the profiles looked very professional and one might go as far as to say that they are probably simply men who think they can get some sex and make a bit of cash in the process.

The prices were all much lower than what female escorts charge. One 27 year old was advertising 30 minutes for £10 and £20 for an hour!

I decided to Google male escort agencies to see if I could find a more professional kind of man. The first site I stumble across is called Gentlemen4hire. They claim 'Our male escorts offer companionship for your required occasion, they do not offer any sexual services or "extras" ' and this is repeated in the FAQ section, saying they will not respond to emails asking for sexual services. They don't claim to be a classy or sophisticated site nor claim their escorts are smart, handsome or debonair which is a good job really. Looking at the escort profiles they seem to be a mix of some genuinely quite handsome men with professional photos and bulging biceps and twinkly eyes. However many have holiday photos, self taken pictures with mobiles in front of the bathroom mirror and fuzzy ones that were taken on a night on the lash. Hardly classy.

These male escorts write their own profiles which means they vary in style. One man says 'I have a nice sense of humour, I like to travel and going out, watching football and drinking beer :)' which isn't really inspiring if you're looking for a gentleman to attend a blacktie dinner dance with. Another man (who looks like he's trying to be a bit gangster in the photo) says "I can travel anywhere in London. I charge 40 pounds a hour, if ur interested let me know. I'm available at all times 24 hours".

The site says that they don't charge but that all the cash required is paid to the escort. So, how does this site make any money I wondered. Well, on investigation they charge £9.99 for a month and £19.99 for a 3 month advert. Even though the claim not to be about sexual services some of then men clearly do, one saying I do full body naked massages, sex, my personal speciality (licking) and sex however you would like it.

Sigh me up now!

Moving on, I did a bit more searching and found a forum for male escorts and this is where I really discovered the pitfalls of male escorting. Page upon page of questions and warnings about scams and complaints from members saying they weren't getting any business. This site is chock full with stories of men who have paid out hundreds of pounds signing up to an agency who promised them lots of work. Here is one brief story:

I joined this company 10 days ago i was advised that i had already been set up with a local woman, this fell through and then was rebooked for 3 days later to then be told she cant go due to breaking her leg. its now been 10 days since i joined and departed with £400 for the joining fee with no work coming my way.

Seriously, the whole site is full of posts similar to the one above and this articlereflects that.

However, there are some genuine escorts out there who do make a living and some sites that don't appear to be scams. This site seems very genuine and has extensive media coverage. I also found a very nice sounding man who offers services as both a male escort and a dating coach. He talks about helping women with their self confidence, intimacy phobia as well as other services such as business help and practical help such as chauffeuring and shopping. He says 'A number of referrals come from health care services, often for women with intimacy issues - sometimes due to emotional or physical abuse at some stage in their lives.'

He seems very professional and genuine and certainly more encouraging than the 'Let me lick you!' merchants on Adultwork! Who knows how well he does though.

So, why don't women pay for sex? Well, in short they don't need to! You only have to look on those naughty adult dating sites, swingers sites, the NSA section on Craigslist and various chatrooms to see that there and hundreds of men looking for illicit encounters and far far less women. I know in my pre escorting days when I experimented with picking up men on the internet I would get a massive amount of responses and if I had wanted to I could have several men every day of the week, talk about shooting fish in a barrel!

Secondly, I think there are some gender differences that do exist, obviously not the same for all women, but here is a quick list.

Women are more likely to prefer having sex with someone they know well or are in love with.

There is a stigma still attached to promiscuous women and many wouldn't want to be seen as a slut, even to strangers.

Women often have less of a need for sex than men. Yes, I know this is massively generalising! Or even if they do have the urges are less inclined to act on the urge.

Safety- women are (and should) be careful about meeting a stranger for sex. I think they are more likely than men to worry about the dangers.

Of course there are male escorts out there who are all about the date and acting as companions for social occasions and women who use male escorts in this way and not for sex. I don't know any women who have used such a service though.

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lancelot 714

Super post Lydia - you have covered the whole area and debunked well the notion that any women at all pay male escorts for sex. You would have thought that horny old grannies would pay young studs - but they just don't - there's no market at all.

The film midnight cowboy shows a hopeful young stud going from mid west to new new york trying to make it as a male whore - he ends up living in a condemned building with a filthy little runt of a tramp played superbly by dustin hoffman. That about says it all. Of course there is american gigolo - but I think that film was just made to tickle a few fancies - I think midnight cowboy is closer to the truth.

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Strawberry 830

I dunno if this been asked before but I always wondered why there aren't as many hetrosexual male escorts catering for women. Why does anyone think women don't seem to pay for sex in anyway near the same numbers as men.

There isn't any need and I think it's this;

Sex drive for many women isn't as strong, or at least is different to that experienced by most men - different hormones, different influences and expectations from themselves and society as a whole.

Most women can find a willing male to have sex with them if they so desire.

Thirdly I am not so sure males can service the same number of clients, in the same way women can cope with numerous males.

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Bibi 599

Bibi, some women like sex, but a lot, possiblity the majority dont seem to.

A Spanish WG once told me that the UK was a great place to work because British women "dont like sex".

My wife, my mates wives, there is another thread on here about wives all suggest this.

Maybe it just wives that dont like sex.

I'd say WGs tend too or it would be really hard to do.

I would agree that for some married ladies they perhaps like sex less in the same way that you guus maybe get a bit bored or experience the spark going but most women who are in love or lust like sex.I believe the Spanish working girl was being quite tongue in cheek.

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smiths 215

Because we don't have to! If a woman wants meaningless casual sex all she needs to do is get online to an adult dating site, swingers site, chatroom or place an ad and be inundated with potential suitors!

Indeed this is of course true. Even very ugly women can pull men as there are always men who might find such women attractive whether sober or drunk, i see this both while out and at the Woodford Grab-A-Granny night.

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smiths 215

Like Lydia said - why would a woman have to pay for it if she can easily pick up hot guys for free? The market for male (straight) escorts must be very very small.

But women that look for casual sex are pretty rare in my opinion...and they are typically branded as 'sluts' by other women which leads to even fewer women exploring their sexuality to the fullest.

Yes sadly true, very narrow minded in the 21st century but this is widespread thinking even now of some, although its slowly getting better as i see it. More women dont care about what others think of them than i have ever known, i hope that continues and people do what makes them happy and/or gives them some fun.