"... Singer-Songwriter Derek Moment is substantive while not afraid of bland superficiality. My heart was moved; my insides were stirred; I was deeply moved. Never will I be the same, nor will be my pacemaker or bathroom plumbing. Bravo, Hip-Hip Hooray, and....Neato! Five Stars. An Absolute Classic. In summary, really rather....um... Quite Pleasant!”
~~~~~~~PROFESSOR VLAD IMPALERONI, Dr. Impaleroni is a Visiting Professor of Music History at UC Berkeley and holds the Stoker-Harker Chair of Brit-American Music History at University of Bucharest in Romania and is Editor of the quarterly journal "Compendium of Research in Applied Musicological Musicianship Interface Technology of Transylvania. He is also Publisher of Mother Folker Magazine.
From the Fall 2015 Edition of CRAMMITT Quarterly.
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"Hello; my name is Marty DiBergi. I'm a filmmaker. I make a lot of commercials. That little dog that chases the covered wagon underneath the sink? That was mine. A few years ago, I heard a British-American band that for me redefined the words 'symphonic psychedelic folk rock.' I remember being knocked out by their... their melody ... their layered vocal harmonies ... their blending of acoustic, classic rock and orchestral instruments ... their exuberance and raw power ... and their punctuality. That band was Derek Moment and Moment7. But hey, enough of my yakkin'; whaddaya say? Let's boogie!"
~~~~~~~MARTY DiBERGI, rock documentary filmmaker.
From a March 15, 2015 YouTube video.
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"You know, in this crazy music business, it's not easy avoiding random spontaneous drummer combustions and bizarre gardening accidents. Yet Derek Moment and Moment7 have always managed to walk that fine line between clever ... and stupid. For example, they took our blending of Mozart and Bach, fashioning it into their own unique 'Mach' style. And we love their never-to-be-released cover of our haunting and humourous love ballad 'Lick My Love Pump.' We are honoured to hear Derek say that his songwriting was inspired by our 'Smell The Glove' album and our legendary puppet show/county fair version of 'Jazz Odyssey.' Indeed, we recognise the flavours and colours of our influence at the centre of many of Derek's compositions. To conclude, we are pleased as punch to say to Derek Moment and Moment7: "Well done !!... Pip Pip!! ... and Huzzah!!"
~~~~~~~NIGEL TUFNEL, DAVID ST. HUBBINS, AND DEREK SMALLS of The Originals, The New Originals, Thamesmen and Spinal Tap. London, England, United Kingdom June 7, 2015
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“DEREK MOMENT AND MOMENT7 are considered by many music critics, most of whom are either band relatives, employees, vendors, or tone deaf... as potentially being one of the most melodic, prolific, and haunting artists to emerge from the 'post - Beatles / Beach Boys / British Invasion / Buffalo Springfield / Moody Blues / ELO / CSNY / Slim Whitman / Tiny Tim' era."
~~~~~~~PROFESSOR SPARKLAND ("SPARKY") FARQUARDT, PhD.
Former Chair of Dept. of Musicology, King's College, University of Cambridge, Cambridge, England. Currently Acting Chair of Dept. of Revisionist Rock Music History, University of California, Berkeley. Dr. Farquardt is Editor of two related publications, the "Berkeley Applied Research Facilitating International Technology" and the "University Professors' Compendium of High Utility Critical Knowledge. Dr. Farquardt is a direct descendant of Freddy Farquardt, the industrialist who dominated the international musical instrument, cat litter, toilet paper, monocle, sanitary wipes, and railroad industries in the mid to late 1800's; his initial fortune was made supplying reveille bugles to the both the Union Army and Confederacy during the American Civil War.
Published in Spring 2014 Edition of UPCHUCK Quarterly.
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"Let's look back: It has been 50 years since the Beatles were on Ed Sullivan in 1964 as the real Rock revolution began.... It progressed roughly for another 20 years until 1983 or so. And today it feels that, despite the wonderful Internet enabling many artists to be heard independently, freeing themselves from record label dominance and enabling them to connect more directly with fans....still it feels like we've regressed to a musical Dark Ages in our mass culture. It is rather ironic - we are in a golden age of TV shows and TV comedy offerings, yet the music landscape is a wasteland of Rap, Hip Hop, Tween Pop, Dance Disco, and faux "Alt Rock.' Very odd. Still there are melodic alternatives out there ... Derek Moment could be one of them. Or maybe not ... how the hell should I know?"
~~~~~~~PROFESSOR VLAD IMPALERONI, excerpted from his TED keynote address at the World Economic Forum Arts Symposium, Davos, Switzerland. Dr. Impaleroni is a Visiting Professor of Music History at UC Berkeley and holds the Stoker-Harker Chair of Brit-American Music History at University of Bucharest in Romania and is Editor of the quarterly journal "Compendium of Research in Applied Musicological Musicianship Interface Technology of Transylvania."
From January 2014 TED Arts Symposium Keynote
Published in Spring 2014 edition of CRAMMITT Quarterly.
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“Here is how the story goes: All seven band members - three and a half Yanks and three and a half Brits, joined forces during a lavish party on board the very final Anglo-French Concorde SST flight from New York to London on October 24, 2003. Right during mid-flight they became fast friends and spontaneously put together a 45-minute set of some of Derek's original songs and then performed them acoustically before a Concorde SST jet full of luminaries and celebrities. The on-plane audience included Paul McCartney, Justin Hayward, Richard Branson, Tom Hanks, Jerry Weintraub, Ron Howard, Brian Grazer, Rob Reiner, Bill Maher, Jimmy Kimmel, his wife Adam Carolla, and Arianna Huffington. The band of seven musicians came to be called Derek Moment & Moment7, magically coalescing at ‘Mach 2' (1350 miles per hour) while screaming over the Atlantic. By the time they landed at Heathrow, news had spread to the major news and entertainment media; thousands had already descended at Heathrow to see the final Concorde landing. A bidding war among all the major record labels soon erupted that got massive press coverage. Within weeks, Derek Moment and Moment7 had put together a "360" multi-album / tour + merchandise endorsement deal with an entity they co-created. The newly-formed 'Branson-Weintraub-Howard-Grazer-Reiner-Hayward-McCartney-Hanks-Carolla-Kimmel & Moment' USA-UK media conglomerate was named 'Moment7 Music'."

"This is how the band was formed and the rest is history. Any other version of this story is simply unadulterated rumour, hokum, nonsense, twaddle, crock, lie, bull, tale, urban legend, distortion, claptrap, tripe, gibberish, drivel, bunk, garbage, baloney, hooey, hogwash, fiction, slander, whopper, subterfuge, poppycock, fraudulence, myth, deception, malarky, flim-flam, libel, untruth, fabrication, misinformation, deceit, falsity, disinformation, tall tale, innuendo, misrepresentation, bullshit, bullcrap, hocus pocus, invention, falsehood, prevarication, fable, perjury, mendacity, spuriousness, hype, mega-hype, and balderdash!”
~~~~~~~PROFESSOR MICK TRAVIS, PhD, Chair of Department of Rock Music Historical Revisionism at King's College, University of Cambridge, Cambridge, England. Dr. Travis previously was on the faculty of University College, University of Oxford, Oxford, England. Professor Travis currently serves also as Research Director at the Millar Clinic for the Study of Melodic Musicological Musicology, London, England. He is also Associate Editor and frequent contributor to the academic research journal "Berkeley Applied Research Facilitating International Technology."

"I personally can confirm the above story. Yep ... definitely ... for sure."
~~~~~~~DR. RONALDO SNARDLEY, Rock HIstorian, Editor in Chief, “Mother Folker Magazine” and frequent panelist on the PBS Series "Writing About Music is Like Dancing About Architecture." Dr. Snardley is Director of Research and a frequent contributor to the scholarly journal "University Professors' Compendium of High Utility Critical Knowledge."

PHIL HENDRIE: Hi, it's Phil. All the characters that you hear on our show today will be performed by me, with the exception of some editing that you hear at the end of the show. We don't use any tricks, no overdubbing, no multitracking ... none of that stuff, OK? Our entire show is recorded in real time, that is, as it is happening. So sit back, relax, and enjoy "The World Famous Phil Hendrie Show."

(Music of metal band SLAYER starts in background ... at a louder and louder volume.)

MARGARET GREY (trying to talk over increasingly loud SLAYER music): And this is the World Famous Phil Hendrie Show... I'm Margaret Grey ...

(Head-banging metal music of SLAYER is now even louder in background)

MARGARET GREY (angrily and exasperated): Could you turn this ... this caterwauling and screeching disgusting demonic brain damaged garbage ...

MARGARET GREY: Well now that we briefly have the show to ourselves, I need to say something. We, the characters of 'The World Famous Phil Hendrie' Show," want to give our thorough praise and complete unabashed endorsement of the wonderful music of Derek Moment and Moment7. I'm Margaret Grey."

BUD DICKMAN (clapping): Yay!

MARGARET GREY: Additionally... speaking on behalf of the entire "Phil Hendrie Show" cast ... we all have frankly grown weary of the trashy music that Phil insists on using in the show ... you know, the Heavy Metal, Death Metal, Speed Metal, and especially the Rap, and the Hip Hop garbage that you hear as "bumper music" played at the beginning and end of commercial breaks. Obviously, Phil Hendrie is a brilliant and gifted performing genius ... but why he insists on playing that vile 'music' is beyond me. I will admit that the Rap and Metal can be rather stimulating to some listeners who are on a lower level of mental awareness and consciousness if you will... and perhaps Phil wants to infuse the show with a certain energy and shock value ... but seriously this music is deeply, deeply disturbing to anyone with more than two brain cells to rub together. It hurts my ears, gives me a migraine, and really triggers my acid reflux."

BUD DICKMAN (trying to be helpful): "Miss Grey, can I get you a P...P... Prozac I mean P...P.. Paxil for your A...A... Acid Re...Re...f..f... f... flux?"

MARGARET GREY: "That is Prilosec, Bud. Not Prozac or Paxil. And yes, please, I will take one Prilosec. Thank you.

MARGARET GREY (gulping the Prilosec and refocusing): To continue.... frankly, nobody here is quite sure whether Phil Hendrie really likes this "Rap Metal Hip Hop" 'music' or whatever you call that trash ... or if he just plays it as an ironic joke. We suspect the latter, but that is the magic of The Phil Hendrie Show: Phil likes to keep people guessing. Those of us in the cast of The Phil Hendrie Show of course don't want to anger Phil or disrupt his creative flow, so we just simply "put up with it' and at times we even pretend to like it.

MARGARET GREY: Bud please.... let me finish. Now, on a positive note, we do know for a fact that Phil does greatly enjoy Derek Moment's music privately when not on the air. And though Phil has not yet played Derek's music publicly on this show, we certainly would welcome it. But then again, perhaps Derek Moment's melodic music does not provide the sufficient shock value and angry energy of Metal and Rap music that Phil wants for the show... I don't know... Anyway, I have noticed that Phil, during quiet, private times, will often play Derek Moment songs when alone and not on the air."

MARGARET GREY (frustrated and exasperated) : "Oh ... my ... god. Bud Dickman... you... you useless yammering nincompoop waste of space ... this is my final warning... if you EVER interrupt me again with one of your foul, crude sexual references, I am going to slam your head so hard into the wall that you'll need two more metal plates in your skull just to support that empty volume of air between your ears."

BUD DICKMAN (apologetically): "Sorry Miss Grey..."

MARGARET GREY: "All right, then. To summarize: we thoroughly endorse Derek Moment's music and find it to be, if you will, a rather refreshing 'musical palate cleanser' in comparison to the vile, noxious music that Phil Hendrie plays on his otherwise wonderfully brilliant show."

'Listen close and double your dose
Drink some more and open the Door
To Perception

Jimmy Mo, The Do ...
Was potent
But hearing the music
Of Derek Moment
Of sound waves ...
Explotent
My mind begins ...
To foment

Thoughts
Of Musical Revolution
Could this be the Solution?
(Well, at least it ain't devolution)

So don't get hysteric about Derek!
Just open the Door
Like Ray Manzarek ...'

~~~~~~~ELMER THE POET LAUREATE of the greater Mecca / Indio / Thermal, California SMSA. Elmer was recently confirmed for this position by the Director of Poetry Operations at the United States Bureau of Land Management (BLM), Western Region.

*As channeled by DR. RONALDO SNARDLEY, Editor in Chief, “MOTHER FOLKER MAGAZINE” and Host of the PBS Series "Writing About Music is Like Dancing About Architecture."

**AN ONGOING COLLECTION OF COMMENTARY ON THE CURRENT STATE OF AMERICAN MUSIC AND POPULAR CULTURE**
~~~~~~~ (Curated by Prof. Ronaldo Snardley, PhD.)

"Won't someone with a major voice in the national media or elsewhere speak out ... somebody who isn't intimidated by the politically correct culturally diverse sensitive leftist media elite and the political correctness forced down people's throats on college campuses ... won't somebody please grow a pair and shout out the truth ... that the major media companies and record labels are subjecting America and the world to rap and hip hop and other types of non-music that is pure garbage ... wake up you PC American sheeple .... the Emperor has no clothes!"

"Of course, maybe this is Big Media's last gasp swan song attempt at cultural relevance as the people gravitate to other sources and distribution channels. I hope this is the case. But Big Media won't go down without a fight - and they have a lot of money to fight with to get your attention forcibly! So here comes more rap and hip hop... bend over and take it! And what I fear the most is that it is not just Big Media alone anymore ... but that at this point the sheeple have been conditioned, through mass repetition over the years, to actually like this garbage. The sheeple are at the point that they don't know the difference. And that is scary!"

"What should we do then? Try to assimilate? Become pretend hip hop fans? Merge with the rap borg? Smile while we take it up the ear? Hopefully the creation of quality melodic rock and pop music will delay the cramming of dumbed down hip hop dipshit culture down our collective throats ... staving off the decline of western civilization. But who am I kidding. Game over. We are all screwed. Rap has already won. It will take years and years for this garbage to disappear from our culture if it ever disappears. Luckily we have many channels of distribution these days to find good music if we seek it out ... but when you turn on mass TV or mass movies or mass media commercials in the mass market, expect to continue to bend over while big media companies pander to the Idiocracy and try to ram it up your ear."
~~~~~~~GREG FITZSIMMONS, comedian, podcaster, host of Greg Fitzsimmons show / Fitzdog podcast, and Sirius show on Howard Stern network.
From a September 2014 podcast
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"Here's one thing: I guarantee that any kind of melodic classic rock style music these days ... will never get noticed by the the Cheetos-eating basement-dwelling critics from rags like Rolling Stone Magazine who worship at the Temple of Hip Hop and the New York Altar of Lou Reed, Patti Smith, The Ramones, Television, Iggy Pop, Sonic Youth, The New York Dolls, - you know, the twisted melodically challenged acts who have just the right angry alienated New York 'attitude' to please many New York critics from the Rolling Stone Magazine hipster school who get off on cigarettes, tattoos, piercings, punk, and anything deemed 'alternative.'"
~~~~~~~DANA GOULD, stand-up comedian, actor, writer, podcaster ("The Dana Gould Hour") former long-running writer for The Simpsons. His 2013 comedy special "I Know It's Wrong" was recently broadcast on Showtime.
From a April 2015 podcast
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"Oh yeah, speaking of junk loved by Rolling Stone critics ... let's talk about rap and hip hop ... I don't get it ... and I wonder if rap "fans" themselves even get it or are they just robots worshiping the latest fad ... I've grown so tired of the rap chicks dressed like hookers ... and the wanna be gangsters bragging about their cars and bling and ho's ... and witness the ho's themselves in the videos... "I know you want it boy" and "I want you to give it to me" blah blah blah... give me a break. And have you seen the size of the asses on these ho's who seem to be so revered by the sheeple... such as Nikki and Kim, etc?? Since when has it become attractive and fashionable to have two HUGE cellulite ridden butt cheeks the size of beach balls filled with quivering jello? This is beauty? This is some sort of feminine ideal? I say it is more like proof that these women have given up! Talk about trying to culturally turn lemons into lemonade!"

"Meanwhile, all this "music" if you want to call it that is created by some cynical "producer" with a laptop and a Casio, a drum machine and a rhyming dictionary. Feeding the sheeple. Dumbing down the culture. And Rap "lyrics" themselves.... what a joke. My 8 year old twins could write better lyrics ... And now ... rap "artists" are being inducted into the Rock Hall of Fame ? WTF? Am I the only one who thinks this is insane? This alone is proof of the complete dumbing down of our Idiocracy culture. Besides that I have no opinion on the matter!"
~~~~~~~ADAM CAROLLA, podcaster, comedian, cultural critic, author of four New York Times best selling books, and co-creator of the world's most downloaded podcast, The Adam Carolla Show; Carolla's TV and movie projects include Catch A Contractor, Loveline, The Man Show, Crank Yankers, The Hammer, Road Hard, and the 2015 documentary "Winning: The Racing Life of Paul Newman."
From a February 2015 interview
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"Sure, there will always be arguments concerning which of the above artists deserve to be in the Hall of Fame. But ALL of them are MUCH MORE DESERVING THAN ANY OF THOSE LISTED BELOW! Now look at those who HAVE been inducted into the Rock Hall of Fame:"

"LOOK AT THIS LIST! These people are in the Rock Hall of Fame! WTF?! I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!"

"So when you look into it more closely, the entire Rock Hall Of Fame 'nomination and induction process' is run by a small secretive cabal dominated by Jann Wenner of Rolling Stone and current / former Rolling Stone writers PLUS major label music executives who advertise in Rolling Stone. The whole process is a mystery and totally opaque and reeks of corruption. You hear stories of intense lobbying being done behind closed doors by various record labels and supposed journalists and 'friends of friends' pushing their own personal preferences and their own label's artists. And then this secret cabal annually magically come out with their annual "inductees." What a total sham. More and more stories are coming out about the whole corrupt Rock Hall of Fame induction process and it is starting to anger lots of music fans."
~~~~~~~GREG FITZSIMMONS, comedian, writer, and host of 'Fitzdog Radio' podcast and 'The Greg Fitzsimmons Show' on the Sirius "Howard Stern 101" channel.
From a March 2015 podcast
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"I pity the Rock Hall Of Fame visitors of the future. What exhibits will the visitor see? .. a bucket of Gene Simmon's fake blood and artificial tongues and wigs, or some AK-47's and Glocks formerly owned by Public Enemy? Hoodies worn by Run DMC? Heroin syringe collection of Sid Vicious ? Nose and penis piercing hardware worn by Johnny Rotten? Collection of Joan Jett's leather jackets and black hair dye? Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen OD technology and and/or methods used to kill each other until success was finally achieved? Patti Smith's discarded cigarette butts and broken-down wife-beater tshirts? Chronology of Billy Joe Armstrong eyeliner and mascara (Green Day exhibit sponsored by Maybelline)? Perhaps an exhibit of Madonna's cone shaped bras and other faux media bullshit that her fake career revolved around? Perhaps a list of songs Madonna had no hand in co-writing yet where she still forced her way into getting co-writing credit?"
~~~~~~~GREG FITZSIMMONS, comedian, writer, and host of 'Fitzdog Radio' podcast and 'The Greg Fitzsimmons Show' on the Sirius "Howard Stern 100" channel.
From an April 2014 podcast
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"Hey tourists, visit the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame in Cleveland NOW before it's too late. In the near future it will be full of full of rap, hip hop, punk, tween pop, and disco memorabilia. The "Rock" section will housed in a beaten up warehouse annex down the street from the phenomenal majestic main I.M. Pei-designed building... a shuttle bus will take you there to the "annex" or "satellite" building on the other side of town across the tracks to visit the "Rock" section ... I predict in 10-15 years, the only time the Rock Hall Of Fame will be in the news is because of the periodic stabbings, shootings, and related mayhem committed by descending hordes of bussed-in thugs from scattered urban rat holes ... all attending free rap shows created by well meaning museum bureaucrats and docents in order to 'educate and entertain the public.' Yeah right. Can't wait to see what this musical future looks like. I'll watch it from afar from my bunker."
~~~~~~~ADAM CAROLLA, podcaster, comedian, cultural critic, philosopher, professional ranter, and co-creator of the world's most downloaded podcast, The Adam Carolla Show, along with Loveline, The Man Show, Crank Yankers, The Hammer, Road Hard, and the 2015 Paul Newman documentary "Winning: The Racing Life of Paul Newman."
From a January 2015 podcast
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GREEN ECO NEWS

ENVIRONMENTAL PLAN ANNOUNCED FOR
MOMENT-MCCARTNEY CALIFORNIA SHOWS

(From The London Daily Mail, by Hugh Jass)

“INNOVATIVE ENVIRONMENTAL CONCEPTS”

Shortly after announcing an exciting series of upcoming Central California shows, Derek Moment and Sir Paul McCartney have upped the ante: they are vowing to conduct their entire series of shows in an unprecedented “green” fashion which has never before witnessed in California.

For one, all shows will be performed outdoors in the daytime when the sun is directly overhead, thus avoiding the need for unnecessary spots and stage and outdoor security lighting. An added benefit: this will allow the crowd to be exposed to healthy doses of Vitamin D from the naturally healthy rays of the golden California sun.

In connection with that sun, special booths run by tour sponsor Coppertone will distribute reduced price (20% off Bloomingdales NYC retail price!) sunscreen to all attendees. Plus sun protection hats from the Moment7 clothing line will be sold at a 20% discount from the MSRP of $69.99. And Special M7 sun protection long sleeved white shirts will also sell for 20% off their $89.99 MSRP. (For online hat and clothing purchases, visit MoMent7.com). “We are doing everything we can to help reduce the damaging rays of the sun,” said a concert spokesperson. We have never discounted the Moment7 sun hats and shirts to this extent. And sponsor Coppertone is being very generous also. I mean we’re giving up a lot here, so I hope people appreciate our sacrifice.”

Also, in a revolutionary green innovation debuting at the Fresno show, the air conditioning and all sound equipment and lighting in the Moment-McCartney “Go Green” tent will be powered by a group of 300 local Fresno school children. Throughout the show the kids will be pedaling an assembly of especially built electricity-generating bicycles wired in to the air conditioning, sound equipment, and lighting.

This is heralded as a great first step in the combined goals of environmentalism, combatting childhood obesity, and giving at-risk youth “something to do.” The Fresno school kids will be working for class credit only - on their way to a GED - and will not be paid in cash which as kids they would not fully appreciate anyway. The concert promoters are exploring payment via a special child labor exemption for 501c(3) non-profits that are subsidiaries of profit making shell corporations - a provision that was just enabled by a recent decision of the Roberts US Supreme Court, with Scalia, Thomas, and Alito jointly writing the majority opinion. If not enough volunteers are found, then the payment option will be employed.

Concert representatives indicated that the kids donating their time to a good cause is a good character builder for the kids and to pay them would send the wrong message to environmental activists everywhere. “Hey, we’re in this together, said Moment. With the global warming crisis looming, there is not time for petty selfish profiteering. We must work together and all pitch in now! Enough of the ‘me me me’ attitude already!”

And in order to deliver the best possible sound for their fans and to optimize the acoustic performance of their sensitive music equipment which could be damaged from the dust, dirty air, and hot sun within the Melvin W. Cowpie Memorial Rodeo Showgrounds, Moment and McCartney will perform from inside a special clear tent. The tent will be air conditioned, humidified, dust-free and hypoallergenic. The clear tent will allow full views of the performers. In addition, a bank of large solar and bike powered LED monitors will be mounted to the sides of the stage for better views from those in the back of the standing room only show, expected to fill the Rodeo Grounds with 40,000 people. (For sit down shows, the facility only accommodates 7,500 so things will get a bit crowded. Thank goodness for the roaming Big Gulp beverage carts selling 48 oz Coke for only $9.95! Credit cards accepted!).

Meanwhile the crowd will enjoy the enriching warmth of the direct sun in the middle of the afternoon on dusty rodeo grounds in a hot Fresno day that typically averages 95 Degrees (F) temperatures in the spring, summer, and fall. To reduce the effects of the sun and dust, an aerial spraying helicopter from Fresno Crop Dusters Inc. will fly overhead periodically dropping a gentle mist on the crowd, creating a rainforest atmosphere. “We don’t believe that the relatively low 5% concentration of residual insecticides and fertilizers within the spray will negatively affect any of our attendees,” said a concert spokeswoman. “But in case anyone is sensitive to fertilizer and insecticide and DDT, we will have a medical tent staffed with junior college trained LVN’s who will be authorized to distribute both aspirin as well as Claritin and Benadril to reduce any possible brain swellings and allergic reactions caused by the helicopter rain forest misters/ crop dusters.”

“We really do want to be outdoors to share the experience with our fans… we really do … you know, connecting with the crowd directly - being with our peeps.” said Moment via speakerphone from within his personal hyperbaric chamber with which he always travels. Sipping from a bottle of Reykjavik Icelandic Distilled Glacial Water which he has flown in weekly via private jet, Moment continued: “But in order to deliver the best possible sound for our audience and to protect our equipment - particularly my custom Gibson EDS-1275 white double-neck and my Taylor acoustics and vintage Rickenbackers and Telecasters - we simply have no choice but to perform within that air conditioned hypoallergenic clear tent. Further, because of the stress of touring, despite media criticism, we must continue to haul the hyperbaric chamber, three variable temperature hot tubs, a cold plunge, portable dry sauna, steam rooms and showers - all powered by natural gas and propane - from show to show with our fleet of big rigs. These items are a necessity to ensure high quality shows so that our fans get the best entertainment possible - please do not call them a frivolous luxury.”

Moment did point out that despite the powering of the spa equipment by propane and natural gas, that 10% of the fuel use by the big rigs is indeed comprised of green-friendly bio diesel.

“The bio diesel - i.e. grease - is actually being generated from my chain of Burger King franchises in Nevada, New Mexico, and Arizona,” said Moment.

“Burger King is another show sponsor, and my Burger King franchise operation will be the exclusive caterers for the concert. Though I personally detest factory farming and the effect that beef cattle has on the environment, who am I to deny our good American customers their constitutionally protected right to eat all the cheeseburgers they can stuff into their happy fat faces? We want them to have a good time! Hey this is the American way. Similarly, who am I to deny them their right to drink as many Big Gulp 48 oz Tubs of Coca Cola as they possibly can at the show? Let Freedom Ring as Sean Hannity would say! Hey it is not my fault that obesity and diabetes is epidemic in this country. Diet and lifestyle has nothing to do with it. Obesity and diabetes is a genetic issue - lifestyle has nothing to do with it - if your mom was fat and had diabetes, then watch out, you may catch it - we just hope a vaccination is developed soon! Besides, we’re just catering to the needs of our wonderful all-American customers,” Moment concluded.

“Motivational Tomatoes”

To motivate those children showing any signs of faltering in the hot midday sun, the audience has been supplied with fun “motivators” like tomatoes, potatoes, and other “throwables” to help inspire the kids and to help show them the value of hard work.

All kids who complete the “green fun ride” as it is called will get gold stars and full credit, along with the grade of “A”, for their “Green Air Conditioning 4-H science project” that demonstrates the ability to power large concert equipment and air conditioners and stage fans and a personal food refrigeration units, which Moment and McCartney use for refreshments… for an entire 2 ½ hour show.

By having the show in mid day in an air conditioned hypoallergenic tent, Moment and McCartney have saved the high cost and native green house gas impact of using evening lighting. (The show will end promptly at 3:30PM in order for Moment and McCartney to board their chartered 757 tour jet to travel to Las Vegas. Moment and McCartney have a night show booked later that evening in Las Vegas for the International Hookers, Escorts and Happy Ending Massage Association Convention at the MGM Grand Ballsroom. Asked about the apparent contradiction here, Moment replied: “Hey, my understanding is that lights in Vegas are basically free since they are powered by the Hoover Dam or something … plus the jet is sponsored by Coppertone, which purchases carbon offsets or something… so we feel no hypocrisy here…. however I’ll look into it and as Sarah Palin once said: ‘I’ll get back to ya.’ “

In any event, to transform the rodeo grounds into the proper music setting, crop sprayers filled with purified Reverse Osmosis water / with a Distilled Water chaser from Fresno Crop Dusters Inc. will periodically fly overhead spraying a gentle mist upon the crowd, not only controlling dust but creating a rain forest ambiance in the 95 Degree (F) heat for all in attendance. Think of the Tonga Room at the Fairmont San Franisco, or the Disney Jungle Ride, but only in Big City Fresno - the cultural capital of Central Valley California! Hey everybody says California is where it is still all happening - this is the state that is the thought leader in the world. And Fresno is smack dab in the middle of the state. It is the geographical center. It is centered in the most mentally centered state in the USA. And that must mean something spiritually and psychically and metaphorically and allegorically and satirically.

It is guaranteed that any residual amount of pesticide in the water spray will be negligible and almost undetectable by the human tongue or nose, unless of course it is breathed in or ingested or even looked at through binoculars. As a result of the ongoing dust control created by overhead spraying, the rodeo grounds will be raked completely clean of cow pies before the show, so everyone will be comfortable sitting down on their blankets to take in the entire show. (Suggestion, put a plastic tarp under the blanket just to make sure.) Further, it is guaranteed that all of the livestock exhibitions will be either re-located downwind from the rodeo showgrounds prior to the performance and /or completely tented and vented with fans, so as to optimize the air quality for the show. In summary, this should defintely be the least smelly and least dusty show in the history of Fresno’s Melvin W. Cowpie Memorial Rodeo Showgrounds!.

The Actor
Aha! Moment
Alone
American
Andmoreagain
Are We Not Drawn Onward To New Era
Are You Sitting Comfortably
Bad Hair Day
Be Together
Border Breakdown
Bright And Sunny Day
Buddy Boy
Certain Kind Of Fool
Clearly And Lovely, Defined
Close My Eyes
ColouringBooke
Come On People
Cries Mary
Daddy's Stories
DecadeDance: Twisting The Vintage Guitar Array
Defining Moment - A Derek Moment Music Sampler
Derek Mo
Don't Talk To Strangers
Drawn Onward To New Era
Every Moment Counts
Feel A Whole Lot Better
Fighting Chance
Fortunes & Moretunes
Fourtunes & Moretunes
Fourtunate Moment: A Four Album Sampler
Fortunate Moment: A Four Album Sampler
Freedom Of Treedom
Hammered Heart Has Turned To Stone
He Arrived
Heat Of The Moment
High Five & Alive
Hope of The Eccentric Kaleidoscope
I Am Home Again
If I Were A Carpenter
I'll Feel A Whole Lot Better
I'm New
I Need A Lover
Inspired / Expired
In You
It's Over
Just A Little
Just A Little / Mo & Beau
Keep The Channel Open
King Of The World
Labe Slaver
Land Of Make-Believe
Laughing
Lent Me A Hand
Let Me Go TwoNight
Let Me Go Tonight
Let Me Tell You
Live For The Sun
Lover
Magic MoMo & The Family Tree
Magic Mo's Family Tree: Putting The Fun In Dysfunctional!
Maybe Tofu
Meet Derek Moment!
Moment Of Glory (The Watchers' Vicarious Moment of Glory)
Moment Of Truth (Slogs Of The Spinning Cogs)
Moment7 Music
Moment9
MomentSongs
MomentMusic
Momentum
MoMo & The White Falcons- Tell Me A Truth
MoMo & The Falcons
MoMo's Musings
Monte Rey's Lament
Monte Vista Recess
Monterey
Monterey Suite (Monterey-Monte Rey's Lament, Warrior In Withdrawal)
Monterey Pop
Mourning Reign
Movie We'll Make Of Our Lives
My First Love
Never Comes The Day
Numbers Game
Octave
Oh John
One Moment Please
Opened Mind
Open Mined
Paint By Numbers Dream
Power And Glory Of 300 Hit Songs
Power Of Music
Present Moment
Ready To Run
Rhymes Of The Times
Riding On My Love
Saturday Reign
Saturday Rain
See In 3-DMZ
Seize The Moment
Seventh Serving of Psychedelia
Sunday Is Our Time
7th Serving Of Psychedelia
Six Strings Pleasure Brings
Sleeper Has Awakened
Slogs Of The Spinning Cogs
State Of Momentary Hi-Mo-Sis
Solution Illusion
Songs Of Justin Hayward
Sorrow
Souvenirs
Telephone Line
Tell Me A Truth (Come On People)
The Actor
The Land Of Make-Believe
Time Goodbye
Time Is A Liar
Torn
TranceDanceAndMentalMusication
Trance Dance And Mental Musication
Traveling In America
Try Again
Tuesday Afternoon
Twisted Hunter
Vintage Guitar Array Dream
Warrior In Withdrawal
Watchers' Vicarious Moment of Glory
Warrior In Withdrawal
We Are One
We Are Young
We Could Do It
What To Do
What You'll Be Tonight
Who Are You Now?
You Are What You Eat
You Can Never Go Home
You've Got Your Troubles
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