Friday, June 20, 2014

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!

If someone from outside of the United States were to ask me how Americans feel about people who ride bicycles, first I would show them this:

Then I would show them this:

Along with the following comment:

groundhog2008

This cyclist did not appear to try to stop, or even slow down. And, it looked like there was room to make a safe pass. This doesnt make sense to me, unless he was looking for a reason to blame a motorist for something. I just looked it up, and it is true that maintenance vehicles legally drive on this bridge, and there are NO signs forbidding other vehicles from doing so, either. I get tired of these obviously queer guys wearing those tight girly pants and causing traffic mayhem wherever they go! It doesnt matter to them, whether they are on the road, sidewalk, walking trails, or whatever, they ALWAYS feel like they have the right of way, whining about something that didnt go their way!! A lot of them are rich, and dont work, so this is what they do. If some of these people get run over once in a while, that is what they should expect when they knowingly take the risks of being out on the highways, totally unprotected by anything but those cheap styrofoam helmets!!!!

I wonder if "groundhog2008" experiences physical pain from being so stupid. You'd think there'd be some sort of dull throbbing in the cranial region. Also, he says most cyclists are rich homosexuals who don't work as though that's a bad thing. We should be so lucky! It sounds like a very pleasant lifestyle, and instead of reading stupid bike blogs at our crappy jobs all day we'd be riding back and forth from our Chelsea townhouses to our summer places on Fire Island.

Of course, if this same person would ask me if I enjoyed riding bicycles, I'd answer thusly:

The upgrades from the 404 Firecrest carbon clincher to the 404 Firestrike don’t come cheap. The 404 Firecrest currently costs $2,725 and it will remain in the line. The new 404 Firestrike wheelset will be available as a higher end option for $3,600. The Firestrike is just 20 grams lighter than the Firecrest 404, and uses largely the same shape; clearly the new wheels will appeal only to a very specific rider, one who often rides in the rain and, most importantly, is willing to shell out serious cash for marginal gains.

Sure, $3,600 sounds like a perfectly reasonable price for a pair of dedicated rain wheels, which is why I plan to put them on my dedicated rain bike, where the improved aerodynamics will cancel out the resistance caused by my rusty chain:

I suppose I could also just use the $3,600 to buy another bicycle, but a pair of absurdly-priced wheels that will be obsolete as soon as road bikes move over to "hydrolic dick breaks" seems like a much better investment.

And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right that's fantastic, and if you're wrong you'll see the Bicycle Blues.

Short post today! Alligator guy could have avoided his crash if he has a dedicated gravel grinder with a gator catcher (think cow catcher in front of a train)...he could probably use the air spear but near the ground instead of in front of his hand bars. That way he stays a bit more aero.

I'm tired of these fairy-assed rich boys hitting law-abiding SUVs with their pansy-assed stretchy-clothes bodies. They go and crack their limp wrists and faggy skulls on nice shiny SUVs, and dent 'em all up, just to forward their commie agenda.

This morning, while riding across town on a one way street with no bike lane, a driver parked along the curb began backing up against traffic. As I passed slowly by between him and a taxi, he called out "Wrong side, buddy."

So of course I replied "Sorry, first time on a bike."

The woman on the bike behind me laughed.

But she might have been reacting to the girly bib short straps peeking through my Tour de Bronx T-Shirt.

My dog may be a bad influence on me. I mean fashion-wise. I'm not sure the cargo shorts he recommended complimented my outfit.

Tbh,that biker could,ve avoided the Crazy arse car on the bridge.But where,s the fun and kudos in that?Stupid self-righteous cyclocunts,re alienating our fellow humans.And they ARE humans,once you,ve prised them out of their overpriced clitorii...

True story: Zipp uses computer algorithms to calculate the optimal dimple size and shape for minimal drag, along with Finite Element Scranalysis. It's just a total coincidence the indents spell "ZIPP".

"True story: Zipp uses computer algorithms to calculate the optimal dimple size and shape for minimal drag, along with Finite Element Scranalysis. It's just a total coincidence the indents spell "ZIPP"."

what would happen if the bridge guy & alligator guy (who's pretty cool) changed places through a wrinkle in the space time continuum? alligator guy on the pedestrian bridged gets belted by a car while taking a selfie? bridge guy tries to squeeze past the gator & falls....neither is as funny as the uninflected reality at hand, proving the existence of god (and that god probably has a clitoris)

Just got caught up with yesterday's comments. Several people have said they read my l'Eroica jersey as "Erotica" (yes I bought a jersey, you think I'm flying all the way to Italy and not buying the jersey?)

If that makes you happy, then I'm glad to be of service.

Robot asks veloyedh. Well, not yet, but I'm hoping to velo a little after work.

Good news, fellow cyclististas - we can now justify purchasing a dedicated nail bike, with the solid rubber tires. Options include heavy steel shield plates in the undercarriage in case the terrorists escalate to IEDs.

The thing with the signs saying VDOT vehicles use that path is that the SUV was NOT a VDOT vehicle. Didn't have state tags, didn't have VDOT markings...it was a privately owned vehicle of a contractor either running late to work or who couldn't get out of work fast enough.

If I gave the impression that I was getting up in your corn flakes, I apologize. I understand now that the reason it took you a little long to react is that you thought the SUV was going to stop.

From the viewpoint of the camera, the SUV looms large and dangerous. I don't know how I would have reacted if I were in your cleats, but I don't think I'd trust an SUV to do the right thing; I'd probably assume the opposite, knowing stereotypical SUV behavior.

And, of course, that's exactly what the idiot did. It's in no way your fault, clearly.

Seems like the crucial part of the Dickhead narrative is that we're powerless, weak, faggots and such -- basically in every way the last person you would expect to shoot you 15 times with a Glock and set your car on fire.

Even if the contractor was allowed access along the bridge path via means of personal motor vehicular carriage (I'm a law-talk'n-guy), it is clear in the video that the SUV is travelling way too fast in that context. I agree with Bryan (Bryan's me mate), it looks like either the driver was late for work, or it was beer o'clock.

Glad you came out OK. I read (and posted) the news station article - your fellow Norfolkers are something that sounds like Norfolkers. Actually, most of the comments were fairly sane - the anti-bike comments mostly appeared to be trolls.

Peace out - time to put me little girlie underwears on and get yelled at by some azzhats on my way home!

Actually, now that I read Kelley's comment I'm starting to wonder if there isn't more to the story. There is something very fishy about her claim that she expected "...some sanity at Bikesnob". Such an outrageous statement throws into doubt the veracity of her whole story. Perhaps she did take the fall on camera to further a car hating agenda.

One thing is for sure, the gator video is staged. The rider has obviously come across the monster moments earlier, seen an opportunity for internet fame and circled back to begin filming the "GATOR CRASH!!". Probably ran some hokey "Swamp People" lines through his head on the ride back to choose the one that contrasted best with "selfie". What possible motive to grasp such a pathetic opportunity for just 3 minutes 40 seconds of celebrity? Well, Gator Grinder Guy is actually the brother-in-law of Keith "Mad Dog" Maddox, and let's just say, there is some rivalry between them.

Kelley, for the most part, I think you're misinterpreting the dripping sarcasm that oozes through the bowels of this comment section. I didn't really see anything taking the driver's side. The only question people seem to have on initial viewing, myself included, is why you didn't brake earlier. Unlike you, we're not expecting to see oncoming cars on the ped/bikeway. Yes, I get that now.

ce: You're onto something. Totally makes sense why he turns around and heads in the other direction at end of the video. I wondered that.

Would I be deflating anyone's self-righteous huff if I pointed out that groundhog2008's post just might be what the literary types refer to as irony? Granted, I don't possess the sophistication of a big shot New York blogger, but I gotta say that this just doesn't quite pass the sniff test....

I just assumed that Kelley's camera was mounted on her handlebars, and therefore that what the camera was seeing was not necessarily what she was seeing. It's not a big deal to turn one's head to the side for a few seconds when on a bike/ped facility, not traveling at high speed.

I thought she saw the car forthe first time about when she said "AAAAAAAA!"

Really unfortunate that some people are assuming, or taking advantage of the assumption, that she saw what the camera did, when it did. I mean, they can't ALL be ironic...

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Kelley we feel your pain and wish you the very best in civil court recovering injury, anguish, and damages.I read your article. It was lovely and well written. That's the problem, you're not dealing with rational people when behind the wheel of a vehicle. It turns the meekness of soccer moms into raging Hulks.Here are some pointers I have learned from Lob's High Priest that could improve your communication skills.Replace VDOT with Fucktard, either singular or plural as required; VDOT contractor with raging fucktard, and VDOT driver as idiot fucktard. Make repeated use of "My aching scranus" when referring to lame excuses by others, and lots of this Best Wishes Rubber legged Iron Butt

I'm off to kickstart my line of artisanal Top grain finest leather road flare scabbards. Traditional pannier style double saddle bag design for maximum capacity. 10 flares per side because you know here in America one is never enough!

Just not getting the cowboy vibe from all that luxurious hand tooled cow hide? A vegan perhaps? Well don't worry I got you covered with scabbards of either style made from durable Cordura Nylon in classic utilitarian black or camo, of course. Kevlar reinforced inserts add even more strength to hold up in real world mean streets!

Act now! Show your support! Help me help you make it easier to get your 1400 degrees Fahrenheit point across, repeatedly if necessary.

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About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!