My Calling

I don't know why I am writing this down. No one, but me will ever read this journal. It's probably for the best since this journal contains my entire life. A life full of blood, misery, torture, chaos and death. Out of all the evil I wrote into this book, one thing has eluded me. I have no idea where I am from, who my parents were or nothing can be used to figure out just who or what I am. All I know is my name and at times, I wonder if it is my real name. Probably not, but it is better than nothing. Nobody else I have come across in my days wondering this world has ever given such a name so I guess it makes me unique. I suppose being unique has it's perks, though. When you live the life I do, being unique is one of the best weapons you can have. Haha, my life is interesting. Going from country to country, state to state for one goal in mind, to kill. No, no, not killing people, but rather monsters. Yes, monsters who watch you while you sleep, attack or rape you when you least expect it, monsters that thrive off fear and feast on flesh. Monsters that only can be create one's mind. Humanity uses the image of a monster to scare or frighten others. These images later become stories and these stories become infamous. Some of these monsters were created for the sole purpose to be worshipped as beings of fear.

For you see fear is what most monsters feed off of. Any child with half a brain can figure that out, but true fear? Oh, haha, most people don't understand what TRUE fear really is. Most think monsters like the Boogeyman are just make-believe. Then again these are the same people who think that there are no gods or powerful deities that watch us. These things wait until the right moment to strike and when they do, you are theirs. No one, not even the most devoted cultist or even the most insane manaic would believe me when I tell them the truth. The truth that every human on this planet is being watched by monsters. Monsters who take many forms and shapes. Monsters that wait until you are most vulenrable to strike. Some even give themselves to monsters without even knowing about it. The real truth is that the moment you turn off the lights or the moment you give into gluttony, sex or hate, these beings notice you. They notice me all the time. Though the difference is that I am not scared of them. I have seen monsters that were only told in myths and legends. I have also had seen them bleed on the ground. I take no pleasure in killing them, but death waits for no one or nothing.

Some view death as a monster, but it isn't it. Death is not sentient. If it was then that would apply that life is as well. If that is true then chances are both are older than time and space. Older than the universe itself. Perhaps such things do exist. No true way to be sure since I have never seen a form of eithier one. Perhaps there is no need to take form since life and death are beyond reason. A monster can learn something from that. You can't kill something if it has no form. We Humans will try to put in simplistic terms and believe or not, that is something we have in common with monsters. Despite being superior in every way and some even ageless, every monster lives for a singular goal. A purpose, I suppose. History is full of monsters who will wish to do one thing and it was simple. Some drive you mad, some make you doubt yourself, some make you believe in hope if only to snatch it away and some love to give the notion you are completely free.

Freedom is a tricky thing considering monsters exist and they watch humanity. Some might debate on the idea of freedom, but I for one believe you are only free if you are unique. Unique enough to embrace your individualism. This may grab the attention of a monster or two, but like everything else in this world, they can or will die. Though these "unique" people can never do what I can do. No one can and no one will. To see the death of the Boogeyman and so many others, you slowly realize that death and blood will be your calling. I know it is mine. Monsters are real and no matter what people might think, humanity are viewed as just playthings or servants to them. These things care little about Humanity or utterly indifferent to us.

I can never truly rest until I find another kill. To hunt down a monster and utterly dismantle it. Every monster has a weakness and I don't stop until I FIND IT! Once I do, these things die. Well, at least for a little awhile. Some monsters are immortal and even after their psychal shell is destroyed and muliatated, these monsters will be back. Once they do, the blood-thirst these monsters have is beyond any type of rage a Human can convey. Rage makes these monsters make mistakes and so I just simply kill them again. No big deal, really. I simply sent them back to where they came from. Realms of madness, mayhem, obsession and pleasure is where these things go. I have been to some of these places. Into the monster's den and only one survives. My clothes and knife covered with blood and the monster dead. I simply wash up, cover my tracks and continue to aim wanderlessly. All without a smile. Each kill a very small part of my humanity is removed and replaced with violence. Sometimes, I wonder if I am a monster. Maybe I will truly become one.