Gerard’s P.O.V.
I needed someone to talk to. I knew Ray would sit around with me all night. And I know he does it just to rub it in Frank’s face. I hate him when he’s like that. He knows damn well that I love Frank and I’m taking this really hard. So I called Ray up anyway.
“Hey… Ray?” I asked.
“Yeah, Gee?” He said.
“Do you… Want to come over? I need a distraction.” I asked, sounding desperate.
“Yeah, I’ll get in my car now. See ya soon.” He answered, then hung up.
I started getting my house around a little. I moved the box of stuff Frank had given me through the years up to my room. I delicately set it on my bed. After Ray left tonight, I had a date with memories. Everything Frank gave me was in here. Even the notes we passed back and forth. I loved just going through all of it. It kind of made me sad to think that now, the letters were never going to come anymore, and this box was officially full. It still had room to spare, but, I’d never get anything else from Frank now. So I’m just going to sit down and cherish what we once had.
I wish he knew how much I wanted to call him and I us again. I still love him. I sit down sometimes and just cry to myself because I don’t have him, and I know he doesn’t care anymore. Sometimes I feel dead inside. Other times I feel like running up to Frank, taking his head in my hands and telling him “Frank, I don’t care what happened with you and Mikey. I don’t. I never did. I love you Frank. I need you back. I just can’t be me, without you.” But, all the time, I felt all of these things at the same time. Believe it or not, when I’m feeling them together, it doesn’t hurt as much as when it’s just one.
Then I heard Ray walk in.
“Gerard?!” He called.
“I’m here Ray, just give me a few minutes. I’ve got some drinks in the kitchen, if you want.” I replied.
“Ok. You want something?” He asked.
“Nope. I’m good.” I answered.
Then someone knocked on the door.
“One minute!” I yelled from the upstairs.
How many visitors am I going to have? Seriously, I only invited Ray. I sighed as I drug my hand across the top of the box. “I’ll miss you, Frank.” I said as I walked out of my room.
“Ok, I’m here.” I started as I got to the door, when I opened it and saw Frank, I was shocked. “Oh… Hey Frank… What are you doing here so late?” I asked. I wasn’t expecting him to come over. He laughed at me earlier, I thought he would’ve just egged my house, instead.
“I need to talk to you. Please Gerard.” He asked. He sounded as desperate as me when I had called Ray earlier. I wonder what was wrong.
“Okay, come in. Ray’s hanging out. Just go ahead and sit on the couch, I’ll be down in a few minutes.” I said. I was a little suspicious as to whether or not Ray told Frank to come down. That wouldn’t surprise me.
So I walked back upstairs, and slid the box of stuff under my bed. I don’t want it to look like I’m still madly in love with the guy, right? I don’t know… Either way, I put it under my bed for privacy’s sake. I wasn’t even up there for five minutes before I walked back downstairs.
When I looked at Frank and Ray, Ray had a sick look on his face, and Frank was crying his eyes out. Then he looked up and gasped at me. I was severely confused. I had no idea what was going on. Frank stood up, and was hugging himself, like he just got stabbed, and he was crying. I was scared.
“Goodbye, Gerard.” He said as he walked out. I wasn’t sure what just happened. Then I shot a look to Ray.
“What did you do…?” I demanded.
“I told him what you really think…” He said, with that twisted smile glued to his face.
“And what exactly do I really think, Ray?” I asked, getting irritated with him.
“You think he’s worthless, he’s got no value, he’s meaningless… Oh, and you hate him.” He replied.
“WHAT?!” I screamed at him. “YOU TOLD FRANK WHAT?!”
“I told Frank the truth. Someone had to. I mean, you would’ve just kept putting up with his stupidity if I hadn’t.” He said.
“YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING! You’re fucking delusional, Ray! Delusional! Get out of my house! Get out!” I yelled, louder this time.
“Sorry, Gerard. I couldn’t take watching him drag you down anymore. It’s painful to watch…” He said, smirking again.
“GET OUT RAY! GET OUT NOW!” I was screaming at him again, he makes me SO mad.
“Alright. You’ll thank me later…” He said as he walked out the door.
An hour or two passed, and I had no idea what I was doing anymore. I couldn’t figure out why he did that. I needed to know why Frank came. I needed to know why he looked so upset when he first got here.
I needed to talk to Frank. I needed to talk to him now. I grabbed the phone, and dialed his number. I figured I’d call, and if he didn’t pick up, I’d drive down.
The phone rang. And rang and rang and rang. It was almost like it was only going to ring. Just hollow noises representing the shell I am now. I went from a numbness to a incomprehensive fear. Then I hear his answering machine.
“Hey. It’s Frank. Leave a message, and I’ll call you back sometime. Bye.” The message said. It was different from the one he had before. Now it was so dull and apathetic.
“Hey Frankie… It’s Gerard. If you want to call or something, you can… Or if you want to stop down by my house sometime, that’s cool to. Um… Can you call me back when you get this? I’m worried about you… Talk to ya later, Frankie.” Then I hung up.
Oh god Frankie, please, please call back. I’m scared… I don’t want you to get hurt. Please, call back. I love you. Please, don’t do anything stupid.
Okay, this isn’t that bad. I mean, he could be out there doing anything right now. He could be hurting someone, he could be hurting himself. I don’t want that. I want Frankie. I want my Frankie. I’ll just drive down to his house in half an hour.