Peas & Queues – Feeling Good

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Some days it’s hard to feel good about yourself. It’s pretty normal to have those days where you just feel a bit stink and you think if someone says something nice to you, you might cry and hug them. The trouble is when you start feeling like that every day—uh-oh, it’s low self-esteem. You know what low self-esteem leads to? Lower self-esteem. It’s a cruel downward spiral. People can smell it on you, and no-one wants to be around it. Before you know it you’re alone with your own shitty thoughts and Facebook’s cruel workings. I don’t want any of you lovely young people to get to that point. So here are some tips on how to feel good about yourselves.

• Keep a little notebook full of the nice stuff that people say to you, to read when you’re not feeling so sure about yourself.
• Learn something new—it might not be an instant boost, depending on what you’re learning, but that sense of accomplishment when you’ve finally mastered Spanish/knitting/krumpin’/trampolining is worth it.
• Surround yourself with people who are nice, say nice things to you, and treat you like the special little flower you are. The ones that say “You’re so pretty/fit” while sneering at you like they hate you, or anyone that makes you doubt yourself, are not worth keeping around.
• Find a friend who knows something about fashion, particularly about flattering different body shapes, and take them shopping with you. Buy stuff that fits and flatters. Say no to ‘aspirational’ purchases.
• Stop comparing yourself to your friends. Looks, achievements, social connections—none of it matters. You are who you are, everyone moves at their own pace and has their own stuff that they both rule and suck at. It’s all relative. Someone out there is definitely jealous of you.
• Take a break from Facebook. For the most part, it’s people doing their best to represent their best-looking, most spontaneous and happy selves. It seems like everyone else is having a better time than you, I know. It’s not true. Stay off Crackbook for two weeks and you’ll get a more balanced perception of who is and isn’t having the time of
their life.
• When you catch yourself listening to some of the negative stuff that nasty bitch in your head says to you, stick up for yourself and tell her to fuck off. No-one else knows the depths of your self-loathing, so only you can really answer to it and advocate for yourself.
• Don’t take yourself too seriously. We all make an arse of ourselves sometimes, and often all you can do is laugh. Not in a mean way, but like when someone you really love falls over.

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