The drinks: Cocktails include the Porch Crawler ($8), made with thai basil–infused gin, watermelon juice and lemonade, and the bourbon- and grapefruit-based Clydesdale ($8). There’s also beer on draught (including from Bellwoods Brewery) and by the bottle and can.

The place: Particleboard takes the place of the usual reclaimed wood here, with picnic tables, retro pin-up posters, cheesy shark heads and a giant stuffed ostrich rounding out the Parkdale kitsch vibe. Behind the bar is a record player on which Tooke and McGrenaghan spin loud rock music and outside, the patio is itching for nicer weather.

By the numbers:
• 30 seats, including picnic tables and bar seating
• 11 p.m. is last call for food (although the place stays open until 2 a.m. for drinks)
• 6 beers on draught, 8 by the bottle and can
• 1 mounted deer head, complete with antlers and a red toque
• 0 plastic payment options accepted—Electric Mud is cash-only
• 0 reservations