Fashion Friday: On Being Top-Heavy (In More Ways Than One!)

When comparing my actual top inventory to Lucky’s “You’re covered if…” list, I’m totally covered, and then some. Here I am, thinking I am utterly lacking in some clothing categories. Not so for the mighty top. As you’ll see below, I have many “fun tops”, so apparently I shop to go out for fun. I’ll probably be lacking in work tops, though, for a very specific reason:

Okay, fine. I mean, I’m a little (a lot) top-heavy:
42D-worth of top-heavy to be exact. Which, congratulations, Dear Readers! Not a lot of people know my bra size because I’m much too embarassed to tell. Now, I know some would be happy to have my “problem,” but for me, it’s quite annoying. That’s because no matter how thin or chubby I’ve been in my life, my chest has been disproportionately larger than the rest of my body. It’s made shopping for a dress or button-up shirt (which is what I commonly wear as a “work shirt”) more frustrating and difficult than jeans-shopping (and y’all know how stressful that is!). Either it fits perfectly across my chest and fits the rest of my body like an oversized, shapeless potato sack, or it fits my body fine except my “girls” are popping out like they need to be on tour at a burlesque show. Which, I have nothing wrong with burlesque, but I myself don’t have the chutzpah to do something like that. (Side note: Who else loves the word chutzpah as much as I do? What’s that? I’m just a crazy word geek? Well, fine. 😛 )

I’m also in that crazy in-between where I’m too fat to be skinny and too skinny to be fat. It gets me nasty looks in both regular-sized stores (what I think they’re thinking: “Oh honey, no. Do you really want to look like a sausage squeezed into a casing?”) and plus-sized stores (what I think they’re thinking: “Girl, you have no business being here. Get out and stop rubbing it in our faces that you’re better than us.”). You’d think all of these stressors would stop me from shopping, but really, when I avoid eye contact and make it a point to not buy anything unless it fits me exactly right and I love it, then shopping’s not so bad. 🙂

I also feel much better when I go shopping by myself. My mother is cute and petite and fits into anything she pleases and she likes to rub that in my face. I don’t blame her; if I had a cute little frame like she did, I may or may not do the same. When something doesn’t quite fit me but I think it would look cute on her, her immediate answer is, “Oh, no. I’d be swimming in that.” Which, yes, is honest, but still…ouch. It gets even worse when I go shopping with any friend that’s below a size 12 (which constitutes 99%, if not 100%, of my friends). I politely go into the H&M, Urban Outfitters, and Hollister, watching them try on cute things and sincerely oohing and aaahing over them and knowing full well that I would never be able to fit into even their XL sizes (super-awesome exception goes to the adorable gray & black color blocked H&M skirt that I scored at the thrift store!). It gets awkward when they, bless their hearts, try to make me feel better and ask me what size I wear so that I can try on the said cute piece of clothing with them. Usually I pretend I didn’t hear them and head to the jewelry and/or accessories department because those fit everyone. So, yeah, venturing out to the store by myself is much less likely to make me want to hide my head in the sand.

But I’d like to think that I’m fashionable even though I’m plus-sized. I think I’m pretty darn cute, and the main reason I’m working on my body is for health reasons. But when I look into the mirror, I smile and embrace my curves. That’s why the top two pictures are featuring plus-sized clothing. I love those two pieces and by no means do they read dowdy to me.

So those are my personal thoughts for today. Now, onward with checking things off my list! 😀

__??? (Checked off depends on workplace) 5 work topsWhite button-down shirt: Preview (thrifted).The only button-down shirt that I own, and it fits me PERFECTLY! Need to figure out where to buy more.

Now, in a super-professional setting, this shirt would be the only acceptable work shirt. So the list would stop there. The following are shirts that would qualify as work shirts to me in a not-so-super-professional setting:

Gray cowlneck shirt: Lane Bryant (bought 2009).
Red textured shirt with keyhole cutout in back: liz&co (bought at JCPenney in 2008).
Off-white textured shirt with keyhole cutout in back (yep, I’m the one who buys something in more than one color if it fits just right and I have the money to do so): liz&co (bought at JCPenney in 2008).
Teal button-sleeve top: Xhiliration (bought at Target in 2008).4 weekend tops (t-shirt alternatives)–long-sleeved

Tops I’m Thinking About Donating: (not quite sure yet)Turquoise shirt with plum/navy floral print: Croft & Barrow (thrifted).Reasons for donating: I bought this because I desperately wanted a turquoise shirt with print on it. I wore it tons of times the year I bought it (two years ago), but haven’t really reached for it as of late. I still love the color, but compared to my other shirts, this one just seems to go on a ten-years-older version of me.
Red cowlneck shirt with lace inset: Worthington (gifted?? or bought a loooong time ago).
Reasons for donating: I swear, this shirt is magical. I’ve had it FOREVER and logically, it shouldn’t fit (it’s a size medium, which, after reading my first couple of paragraphs, would make it an impossibility to fit on my body). Then I reach to donate it, put it on to prove my point that it doesn’t fit, and when it does, it looks so good on that I can’t bear to part with it. But I really only wear it around the holidays (namely Christmas and Valentine’s Day where pretty, dressy, red tops are abundantly worn).

What I’ve learned:

*I really, really think I’m good on shirts, considering that I have as many “extras” (16) as I do “you’re covered if”s. Except for button-up work shirts. And really, that’s only if I happen to get a professional job. Other than that, I don’t really wear button-down shirts, so I don’t have to worry about it.
*I swear up and down, cross my heart, that I didn’t mean for my tops wardrobe to become an advertisement for JCPenney, but holy man! Do I own a lot of shirts from there! (15 of these shirts are JCPenney brands, with 11 that I bought and 4 thrifted/gifted. That’s almost half of all the shirts!) I guess I’m just drawn to that store because they have cute but affordable clothes. Not to mention their clothes tend to fit me. That’s more than I can say for other department stores such as Macy’s. I’m also a huge fan of Target. I also have to give extremely honorable mention to CJ Banks (the plus-sized companion to Christopher & Banks). I absolutely love their clothing but can’t afford it very often. To those who make more money, I highly recommend either one of them (if you have a similar style to me, that is)!
*If I find something I love, it’s really hard for me to ever get rid of it for fear of never finding anything else like it (I’d be remiss if my liz&co textured shirts stopped fitting or got ruined! And I can’t find anything yet to replace my GAP paisley tank.)
*I think I’ve finally outgrown (age-wise and weight-wise) graphic tees. In a way that makes me sad to say goodbye to something I’ve loved for so long, but I really think it’s made way for more age-appropriate clothing. Though if I find an awesome shirt with a unicorn on it that happens to fit, all that would without a doubt get thrown out the window with glittery gusto.

Tops I haven’t worn yet:

Preview white button-down, rose-printed redherring top, red polka-dot tank, blue gingham tank, royal purple tank, handmade shirt.
**I know, I know. That’s a lot. But considering that’s only 6 out of 32, that’s not a horrible ratio. The white button-down I fully intend
to wear, but I’m such a klutz and all my clothes tend to be a food magnet that I’m a bit terrified to wear that perfect shirt for fear of
staining the only button-down shirt that’s fit me so well and I worked so hard to find. Guess I just need to suck it up. Maybe
tomorrow? The rose-printed top is a super-recent purchase and I absolutely love it and desperately want to wear it but I’m just
waiting for warmer weather to roll around so I can wear it without freezing. It’s going to be a part of my first print-mixing
outfit and I’m excited about it. The red polka-dot tank? I fear the top-heavy curse may
have somehow hit it overnight (or while it was in the dryer). I tried to put it on the other day and it didn’t QUITE button over my chest.
I swear on my life that it fit me perfectly when I tried it on at the store, though. So I’m going to try again soon and pray for a miracle and see
what happens. Because I adore that shirt. Gingham tank is also a recent purchase and also waiting for warm weather to show it off. Purple tank
I just haven’t found a dressy-enough occasion to wear it yet. It’ll come. I hope. Maybe a summer date night sometime. And the handmade shirt
I’m also waiting for warm weather. So I guess I’m just waiting for nicer weather, and then I can incorporate these pieces nicely into my wardrobe!

Final Tops Shopping List:I do not need anymore new tops. This is just ridiculous. I repeat: NO MORE NEW TOPS!!! (Unless I get a professional job, and ONLY work shirts allowed!)

And finally, my usual questions to my readers/fashionistas out there:
1) What is your favorite top out of the above? Your least favorite? (As in, do you have any “what was she thinking?!?” impressions of any of the above?)

2) After seeing the pictures, do you think I’ve miscategorized anything?

3) Do you think any of these tops are out of place in my wardrobe (i.e., does one or more skirt(s) not fit the fashion profile/personality of the others)?

4) What are your opinions on my “possible donate” list? Should both of them go? Are there any of my tops that should probably be donated instead?

5) Any styling tips?

6) What are your favorite stores? Any that are plus-sized friendly?

7) How do you deal with your own body insecurities? (Okay, you don’t have to answer that one, but it’s always good to know I’m not the only one who gets frustrated with clothes shopping sometimes.)