Monday, June 16, 2014

Line crossings.

My small group advisee who just graduated sent me a text saying he'd just left something on my porch. He was heading out to go to New York to start his new life as a surgery resident and wanted to leave a token. And yes, he knew exactly where I lived because he'd been in my home along with the rest of that small group more times than he could count.

"Oh man! I was home! I wish you would have rung the doorbell so that I could hug your neck!"

This was my response. And his response?

"I am not far. I will turn around."

And he did. In fact, I met him in between where he was and my home. I hugged his neck just like I said and wished him well. Then we both said the thing he said to me when I hooded him on commencement day:

"It's been a dream."

And that was that. On a very rainy day, that was that.

While I was in L.A. I sent a text to another former advisee who just finished up his internship at UCLA.

"Just saying hello while I'm out here visiting the family! I hope you are well!"

And his response?

"Dr. M!!!!! Where are you?!? I wanna see you!!!!!!"

And so. On a post call day, we met up in a cafe. Him in scrubs. And me in my sister's Clipper's sweatshirt.

And it was great. And that was that.

"I got engaged!!! She said YES!!!!!"

This was another text I received a few months ago from another student. With this photo attached.

And that was that.

And this was the advisor meeting I had over whole wheat pancakes in the Virginia Highlands this weekend.

A colleague once told me that I should be careful to keep the line between my students and myself hard and never blurry. "You are their advisor, not their friend," he told me. "But can't I be a little bit of both?" I asked. The response? "No. Not really. Too much caring can be dangerous."

I always remembered that. And you know? I'm sort of glad that I continue to fail miserably at it year after year. Because it's been a dream. It has.

You have to be you. And if that means "blurring lines" then so be it! Everyone has a different approach, and your advisees obviously respect you as well as love you. Why be human if you can't throw some love into the mix?

Welcome to Atlanta.

"Becoming is better than being." - Carol Dweck

Who me? I'm just glad to be here.

Honestly? I write this blog to share the human aspects of medicine + teaching + work/life balance with others and myself -- and to honor the public hospital and her patients--but never at the expense of patient privacy or dignity.
Thanks for stopping by! :)

What's the point?

"One writes out of one thing only--one's own experience. Everything depends of how relentlessly one forces from this experience the last drop, sweet or bitter, it can possibly give."

~ James Baldwin (1924 - 1987)

"Do it for the story." ~ Antoinette Nguyen, MD, MPH

Details, names, time frames, etc. are always changed to protect anonymity. This may or may not be an amalgamation of true,quasi-true, or completely fictional events. But the lessons? They are always real and never, ever fictional. Got that?