Naturally, the folks at TMZ.com decided that in these tumultuous times, the world needs Hulk Hogan to be the voice of reason, because even they are affected by slow news days every once in a while. Hogan reminds everyone that in his business, anyone who trains, eats their vitamins and says their prayers is capable of stepping into the ring with him. Yes, Hulk Hogan is now the latest person to declare willingness to compete against Fallon Fox, and he did so with all the enthusiasm you’d expect from a famous aging wrestler being asked questions about a transgender MMA fighter instead of his own career.

In the first round, Spong was content to take the lengthy Bonjasky’s legs out from under him with a series of punishing low kicks. Luckily, judges in the kickboxing world view leg kicks as something other than an annoyance, so Spong was awarded the round unanimously. The second round was an entirely different story, however, as both men opted to throw the kitchen sink at one another until one of them fell over. That man was Bonjasky, who crumbled to the mat following a vicious right hook by Spong. And just like that, it was good night my anus Irene, and another win for Spong over one of kickboxing’s greatest fighters.

We’ve thrown a full video of the fight above, so check it out if you get your jollies watching legends fall from grace. I’m going to go have a good cry.

As the UFC’s first-ever female champion, Ronda Rousey is the biggest name in women’s MMA right now. In fact, Ronda’s popularity is growing so fast that former Strikeforce superstar Gina Carano — once known as “The Face of Women’s MMA” — is becoming a distant memory for many fans. But who really deserves to be called the Greatest Female MMA Fighter of All-Time? Let’s compare the ladies point-by-point and find out…

First and foremost, who’s hotter?
Blonde, fit, and attractive whether she’s smiling or scowling, Ronda Rousey is unquestionably one of the hottest female athletes on the planet. But Gina Carano isn’t just “hot for a fighter.” Her Hollywood-caliber looks have earned her mainstream movie roles, and some of her photo-shoots have been truly jaw-dropping. If you prefer your women to be curvy, Gina takes this one hands down.Advantage: Gina

How did they get into fighting?
Ronda was born into it. Her mother was a judo world champion, training Ronda from an early age to follow in her footsteps. (“She would wake me up from sleep to do armbars,” Ronda explained.) At 17, Rousey qualified for the 2004 Olympic Games, and won a bronze medal at the 2008 Games in Beijing, becoming the first American woman to earn an Olympic medal in women’s judo.

As for Gina? Her ex-boyfriend’s Muay Thai instructor told her she looked fat when he first met her, which inspired her to take up the sport herself and get in shape. She eventually started competing in Muay Thai, putting together a record of 12-1-1 — which is impressive, but not Olympic Medal impressive.Advantage: Ronda

(“When I first started The Blackzilian Reverse Diet, I was just a scrawny welterweight fighting in the sport’s highest promotion. But just LOOK AT ME NOW!)

It would be no hyperbole to say that The Blackzilians are less a training camp and more a black hole (PUNS!) of suckitude that is slowly draining the last remaining scraps of talent from its fighters before it inevitably spits them out as empty, dry husks void of any discernible skills whatsoever. Alright, there may be a little hyperbole in that statement, but to say that the members of The Blackzilians have been underperforming since the camp was established in 2011 is no exaggeration. Alistair Overeem just had his head treated like a speed bag at UFC 156, Rashad Evans just put on his worst performance in years (at the same event, no less), and Melvin Guillard has dropped 4 of his past 5 fights including an inexplicably timid performance in what was supposed to be a grudge match against Jamie Varner at UFC 155.

That’s not to say that The Blackzilians are doing everything wrong, it just appears that they are relying on the pure talent of their fighters to lead them rather than a team of disciplined coaches. But in light of the recent criticisms aimed at the camp from news outlets across the MMA blogosphere, whateverweight Anthony Johnson — fresh off a unanimous decision victory over Andrei Arlovski at WSoF 2 – told MMAJunkie that said criticisms are “unfair.” Here’s why:

Every team has losses. Losses don’t define who you are.

People always want to talk about the losses, not the wins. Everybody talks about Rashad’s loss. Everybody talks about Alistair’s loss. But Vitor Belfort is one of my training partners. He just high-kicked Michael Bisping (for a knockout win). You all talked about that for five minutes. You’re all still talking about the losses we had. What about the wins we had?

True, Anthony, we should be talking more about the wins you guys had. The problem is that those wins are coming fewer and farther between than with the guys over at Team Hammer House.

Upon doing a little research, we have discovered that longtime MMA announcer Michael “Good Night Irene” Schiavello is from some place called Australia. Awwstraileeyah. We’ve never heard of it either, but what you should know is that folks who hail from this…AUSTRALIA, tend to have funny-sounding voices. Not funny in a German nihilist kind of way, but funny nonetheless. At last Friday’s RFA 7 event, we found out that Schiavello’s accent becomes particularly amusing when attempting to pronounce the name of young fighter Danny Mainus.

You see, Mainus sounds a bit like “my anus,” you dig? It’s a fact that becomes quite humorous when Schiavello says things like “There’s a cut on Mainus,” or “Mainus is ready to pounce here.” And while this kind of humor might not be up your alley if you have moved on from the 8th grade, well, you’re probably not in our target audience anyway. So check out the video above and rate it on a comedic scale of Zookeeper to The Big Lebowski in the comments section, with Zookeeper obviously being on the upper end of the spectrum. When Kevin James started talking to that monkey, you guys, I totally roflcoptered. I roflcoptered all over myself.

Now piss off, because I need to finish writing this note to pass to Patty Nelson in chemistry class (more like phlegmistry class, amiright? *receives high fives from everyone at the cool kids lunch table*) to see if she’ll go with me to the Spring semi-formal. If she denies me, I’ll just tell Tony T and Space Face Mike that she has herpes anyway.

MMA is widely regarded as the toughest professional sport on the planet, testing fighters to their physical and mental limits. Of course, you need to train hard and practice your skills to be the best, but like any finely-tuned machine, the fuel which you put inside yourself makes a huge difference. Here are some useful tips to ensure you get a taste of victory.

SUPER FOODS

Whenever you hear healthy eating or dieting discussed, supposedly “super” foods are often suggested to help to get you in tip-top shape. In fact, these foods can have a significantly positive affect on you, and they all have a specific healthy benefit. Our favorites are:

Green tea — rich in powerful antioxidants and has been proven to kill cancer cells. It also boosts your levels of good cholesterol and decreases the bad ones in the process. This one’s great for fighters, as it helps to keep the heart in good shape.

Apples — also loaded with antioxidants, but these ones help to repair damaged muscles and cells, making them perfect for fighters, especially when they’ve picked up an injury.

Last night’s edition of ESPN’s Sportscenter featured a segment titled “Garrett’s Fight,” about a 23-year-old man with Down syndrome named Garrett Holeve who has transformed his life through MMA. After being introduced to the sport by his father, Holeve committed himself to training at American Top Team, which has become a supportive second-family to him. The segment follows “G-Money” as he prepares for his first amateur fight against “Monster” Mike Wilson, who makes good on his promise to show Holeve what a real punch feels like. Through three tough rounds, Garrett doesn’t quit, and comes out the other side an even stronger person.

For me, the most touching part of the segment is the end, which shows Garrett now working as an instructor at an ATT affiliate that his father purchased, teaching MMA to children and another man with Down syndrome. “Them look up to me as a hero, or as a super man,” Garrett says. “Because them need a super hero.” (Damn…is somebody chopping onions in here?)

But look, we’re not talking about a kid with Down syndrome getting passed a basketball to take a shot during a middle-school game. MMA is a sport where people can get badly injured, and Garrett’s story is inherently controversial. As Garrett’s father puts it, “I’ve had family members that just said to me that I’m crazy. They’ve lost respect for me as a parent from the fact that I’m allowing this to happen.” Meanwhile, Zach Arnold at Fight Opinion sees this as just the latest in a long line of questionable decisions by Florida’s athletic commission As Arnold writes:

So when Georges St. Pierre walked to the cage at UFC 158 wearing a gi depicting the Rising Sun Flag, I was completely indifferent towards it. I saw it as yet another tribute to Japan from the Shidokan Karate blackbelt, and thought nothing else of it.

Earlier today, UFC featherweight contender Chan Sung Jung took to his Facebook page to explain to GSP that his walkout attire was offensive to many Asian fans and urged him not to wear the design anymore. The Korean Zombie’s post makes for a very interesting read, especially if you’re unfamiliar with the history behind the flag. In his own words:

Dear Mr. Georges St. Pierre

Hi, My name is Chan Sung Jung from South Korea. As one of many Koreans who like you as an incredible athlete, I feel like I should tell you that many Korean fans, including myself, were shocked to see you in your gi designed after the Japanese ‘Rising Sun Flag’. For Asians, this flag is a symbol of war crimes, much like the German Hakenkreuzflagge. Did you know that? I hope not.

Special thanks to Oliver Chan and photographer Rick Albrecht for the photos.

If there’s one thing that I took away from last night’s World Series of Fighting card, it was that even a high profile promotion that puts on a night of entertaining fights is going to encounter some hiccups during its second event. Join us as we relive the highs and lows from WSoF 2.

The Good:

Anthony Johnson looked legitimate at heavyweight: Heading into last night’s main event, a lot was riding on Anthony “Rumble” Johnson actually fighting like a true heavyweight and not just looking like one. With all of the focus from fans and pundits alike on the “former UFC welterweight” issue, a poor showing from Johnson could have caused many fans to dismiss WSoF as an organization of squash matches and freak show fights. Fortunately for the organization, last night Rumble proved that his fight against Andrei Arlovski didn’t deserve freak show status. Johnson was too quick for Arlovski early on, and almost finished the fight before the end of the first round. He may have gassed out early – that’ll happen when you take a knee to the juevos during your first fight as a heavyweight – but at least he demonstrated that he’s capable of being a competent heavyweight if Ray Sefo needs him to be one again.

Right before Josh Burkman and Aaron Simpson locked horns last night in New Jersey at the World Series of Fighting event, the organization’s President Ray Sefo announced that the winner of the bout would get Jon Fitch in June for his promotional debut. Fitch is the former #1 UFC welterweight title contender that was recently released by the top promotion and snatched up by Sefo and WSOF.

Both Burkman and Simpson are also UFC veterans. Fitch was ring side last night in Jersey and appeared ready to make good on Sefo’s plan.

Burkman, however, may not be. After knocking Simpson out in the first round and stringing together his fourth straight win, Burkman balked at fighting Fitch next. Burkman believes that he has earned a shot at the organization’s vacant welterweight title and that Fitch has yet to.