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The Sunday Series (137), with Mark Brodinsky

Life is full of bright and vibrant colors, but sometimes we feel trapped in the black-and-white. We see only the straight lines instead of the curves, the narrow path before us instead of the tiny trail which could lead us to wide and expansive places.

Part of that is faith, it simply has to be, for without faith we can’t see the colors or the way to wonder. It doesn’t have to be some grand circumstance or bold move, most times it’s simply a thought which inspires us to take action, however small, which leads us to have faith in ourselves and in turn to answer our heart’s desire.

If you feel lost and don’t know which way to go, then listen and learn from those who have found their way and are willing to share their story.

Everyone has a story.

I am Mark Brodinsky and this is The Sunday Series.

The Sunday Series (137): Behind The Mask

When we reveal our humanity, we give others permission to be human. – Matthew Kelly

Forever it seemed the answer was “I don’t know.” For most of her life Megan Burak was unsure, unsettled and keeping to herself. Although she had – as she describes – a great childhood, she didn’t have direction.

When Megan was only four her mom moved the family from Pittsburgh to the small town of Berlin on Maryland’s Eastern Shore, to be closer to the beach and the ocean which her mom adored. Sometimes the inspiration of the sea can provide answers and enlightenment to some of life’s biggest questions, but for Megan, even as she approached adulthood the question still lingered, what to do and why.

“Even as a child I didn’t have any real answers when people asked me what I wanted to do”, says Megan. “I was really introverted when I was little. I was heavier when I was a child and of course I was bullied a bit which hurt my self-esteem. I always had trouble expressing myself.”

When the time for college approached Megan enrolled in Salisbury University, not far from her home, but still a great distance from her destiny. “I went to Salisbury, but with an undeclared major”, says Megan. “I had no idea of what I wanted to do and it troubled me. I took some drawing classes, mainly for the credits, but I got some good feedback from the professor. It turned out it was the only class I enjoyed doing and I started taking painting classes.

A couple of brush strokes helped bring the color of Megan’s world to life. Finally, she had answers. “Once I started taking art classes I really loved it”, Megan says, “it gave me a way to visualize my thoughts and ideas. I pursued it and declared an art major.”

Find your why and find your way. But the way is never easy, or without challenges, so your why must drive you and keep you moving forward, even as you’re falling back. For Megan her fall was literally to the floor. Shortly after beginning to pursue her passion, Megan fainted…in front of everyone. The introverted little girl just starting to express herself as a woman through her art was now facing a serious health challenge.

“When I was a sophomore I fainted right in the middle of painting class. I couldn’t finish half the semester, I was diagnosed with Neurally Mediated Hypotension.” It’s also known as the fainting reflex. The condition presented serious challenges for Megan. “Basically it’s a low-blood pressure disorder. When I stand upright the blood doesn’t evenly dispense, it pools to my legs and doesn’t go to my brain. I’ve fainted multiple times, about three times in public.”

The health condition became inspiration for one of Megan’s earliest works, the Faint and the Anxiety Blue paintings. Megan explains: “The Faint picture was that feeling of having this happen all the time and having this feeling of you being pulled way from yourself into nothingness. Anxiety Blue was at the same time period, the height of my anxiety, hiding parts of me, my face, my breasts, but the rest of the exposed body is the vulnerability, the worry and anxiety about fainting in public.”

The condition was brought under control with Megan monitoring her sodium intake, taking salt tablets and drinking plenty of water. And her ability to express herself through her art was back on track. Last year Megan graduated from Salisbury with a Bachelor’s Degree in Art and a concentration in two-dimensional art.”

Although in a number of her paintings Megan uses herself as the subject, she says she is not thinking about the “me”. “I use myself because I’m readily available”, says Megan. “But when I’m painting I don’t look as if I’m painting myself, I’m painting another character. I’m using myself, but it’s really my way to comment on the cycle I have observed with people in my generation.

For example, it’s not Megan’s story in a recent series of paintings which were recently part of her own showcase at the Ocean City Arts Center. It’s really the story of what happened to a friend, yet it still includes what was a major theme of Megan’s early works – remaining partially hidden to the world, behind the blindfold, under the mask.

There are actually five paintings in this series, Megan describes them in order:

“The first one is the man and woman on the motorcycle. What I was trying to do was capture the care-free and go-lucky girl, but still naive and blind, that’s why she has the blindfold on. The man is more rigid and he’s damaged internally from past relationships, which is why he’s wearing the mask.”

You’re So Blind

“In the second painting you can see the man is no longer around. The woman’s dress is tattered and she’s holding the blindfold in her hand. She been hurt and realized the man is not the person she thought he was.”

You’re So Naive

“The third painting in the series is called Cold, it’s the woman washing away her former self. She’s left cold and it’s because of what happened between her and the man.”

Cold

“In the fourth picture the woman is getting ready to surface again, but you can see the mask hanging expectantly on the mirror. The hollow darkness of the painting represents the world closing in.”

You’re So Damaged

“Then in the final painting the cycle has come around. The woman is the damaged one now and she will probably go out and seek to do the same damage which was done to her.”

You’re So Gone

Megan says she is using her artwork to help comment on the cycle she has seen develop in her generation and the masks help shield at least part of her identity. “I’m scared of revealing all I’m about. In school I wasn’t 100-percent comfortable with everything I was doing. It seemed most of the people in my major knew what they wanted to do for a long time and I felt like I had fallen behind. I didn’t connect with many people in my own major and I guess I used the masks to consciously hide that part. When you use the mask you don’t see the whole person, so you don’t really know the whole person. Plus they are fun to paint and they still reveal the eyes, because the eyes are always extremely expressive.”

Moving forward with confidence and building her skills, Megan has slowly been shedding the mask and revealing her feelings and the expressiveness through all the artwork she creates. Her more recent works are other people and photos, experiences and images she finds interesting and strange. Megan says she’s drawn to the colors and the “weird” photos, people who might be odd, or unique, but that’s what Megan believes is beautiful. Plus she loves if people talk about her craft.

Into The Light

“I want people to think about my paintings later, not just leave the gallery and say, ‘oh that was nice’. My dream is to keep broadening where I’m showing, to get into juried shows where you can get awards. I’d love to show in a renowned art gallery in New York, which is really the art capital of America and I would love to go overseas and show in Italy, that would be amazing.”

Megan understands it’s not pure talent that will get her there, there’s nothing more common than unrewarded talent or genius, it’s practice and persistence. “The most important thing is to keep working and honing in on my skills”, says Megan. It’s really like a muscle. People say, ‘oh you must be so lucky to have this God-given talent’. But you have to have the passion. It’s really a muscle, you must exercise it every day to get better and better. I paint every day and only take three-to-four days off a month.”

Laundry Day

It helps to have family as well who are supportive of what you are doing to express yourself to the world. Megan has her mom and dad and two brothers who love what she is doing, and she has the love of her life, her fiance’ Jon. The two have been together since they were 14, nearly a decade. Megan says Jon is her best friend and she’s excited about the prospect of getting married, having her own home and her own studio, and as Megan describes it, “have that whole life.”

Megan also says she has learned to overcome not only her internal challenges of anxiety and overcoming her tendency to be introverted, (she’s telling her whole story here!), but also the challenge any artist faces…competition. “I feel like as artists we are naturally hard on ourselves and our work”, says Megan, “especially when we see another artist in our concentration who is “better” than us. What I’ve learned to do is to be inspired by them instead of intimidated by them. It now inspires me to get better and to not give up on it. It’s essential to my work and how I keep going and I want other artists to know that too.”

Soaked

“I love art and I’m passionate about trying to make it work. I love the challenge. I feel like it’s going really well. I’m doing some commission work which keeps the income coming in and I want to keep painting, entering shows, take advantage of the opportunities that come my way and keep building my skills. I want to ask questions, draw the eye and make an impression. I want to leave something that’s lasting.”

And perhaps by doing so over time Megan will reveal all the beauty of the artist and the woman behind the mask.

Until next time thanks for taking the time,

Mark Brodinsky

To see examples of Megan’s work or have her commission a painting for you, visit http://www.meganburak.com/and e-mail her at meganburak18@gmail.com

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Blog Reviews

Love seeing new blogs hit the ground running like this one (by a dad no less), but I also urge anyone vaguely interested in blogging to stay tuned, I am. Good luck on your journey – glad that I am along for the ride.

Rachel Blaufeld

Great blog Mark! I always appreciate reading what you have to say. You are very gifted and talented and hopefully someday you’ll not just blog, but write a book.

Stephen Koncurat

I’m definitely along for the ride. We’ve all seen how much damage the written word can inflict. More positive writers are needed. And I love how you are using your personal experiences – those with your wife and children – and your gift of writing to open eyes and to inspire others.

Victoria Endicott

Absolutely beautifully written! The girls in your life must be very proud of you. Thanks for sharing Mark, I look forward to reading more!

Gina Glick Jolson

Very shortly this site will be famous amid all blogging and site-building users, due to it’s pleasant posts.

Leila Galloway

Absolutely beautiful! Are you at all thinking of penning a book? You’ve got a fan base out there that really thinks you should Mark. You write so eloquently. Glad that I got onto this site.

Marilyn Lefkowitz

Mark, You are truly a gifted writer and obviously, a special father and husband . Always a delight to read your words.

I’m speechless…beautiful words flow from your heart just like a gentle waterfall into a tranquil stream… thank you so much for the friend request I was blessed the day I clicked confirm.

Lynne Turner Dorsey

From your first writing in 4th grade entitled “People” which was published in the school newspaper, you have always been able to write. Never more so than when you started “Caringbridge” and now your blog, everyone who reads says what a wonderful writer you are. Our DREAM for you is to become an author and encourage people every day. You are by the far the best and we hope and pray you reach your dream.

Bonnie Brodinsky

I know you always thank us for reading but I would like to say thanks for writing.

Stuart Abell

Great piece. You are an inspiration!

Rob Commodari

Mark I just wanted to let you know that you are succeeding in your “ultimate goal”. I have gained so much from your blogs. I look forward to reading them for the special lift that they give me. Thank you.

Amy F.

I love waking up and starting my day with my coffee and your blog! It a great way to start my day with positive uplifting thoughts!! It puts me in a positive frame of mind throughout the day and allows me to reflect on my personal life, make changes, and grow !!!

Gayle Blank

You are quite talented Mark. Thanks for sharing!

Cynthia

I always look forward to your Blog Mark. Thanks for sharing and as you always do, make it a great / remarkable Day!

Chuck Connolly

Thanks for your Blog Mark. It is fun, encouraging and a nice break from a day full of ups and downs.

Jackie Hetrick

With my busy schedule, there is (sadly) little time for reading. But I have two must-reads every time I come across them, the sports section and your blogs. Keep inspiring and following your dream!

Ed Nemec

Mark, you are a truly remarkable individual. You do speak from your heart, I can’t wait to read your book. You are an incredible writer.

Debbie Press

Mark, I am glad I clicked on your post this morning, which lead me to your writing, your goal.
Would like to connect. This speaks to me.

Aileen Braverman

I can’t wait to read the book. I have followed all the blogs and feel so good that I know u guys. You make me cry but you make me laugh too. All the very best to you!

Beverlee Rendelman

Connect with Mark!

WOW!!! It Takes 2 is a must read for anyone who has known someone diagnosed with cancer or other life threatening disease. This is the real story of a family lead by an incredible woman, Debbie Brodinsky, who took radical steps to beat the breast cancer beast. The story is told by her husband, Mark Brodinsky, through journal entries he kept starting with diagnosis through one year cancer free. This author's unique ability to pour his heart out onto the page draws you in from the beginning and holds you until the very end.

Thanks to Mark and Debbie Brodinsky for this gift...I have a new perspective on what it means to be a breast cancer survivor. You are a hero, Debbie Brodinsky!

TeeBThree
September 25, 2013

This book gives a heartfelt, in depth description of what it is like to go through breast cancer with the one you love. It is beautifully written and I felt as though I was living it with them! I highly recommend this book!

Jgs17September 24, 2013

In It Takes 2, Mark Brodinsky windows us into his world where his wife, the cancer patient, is not the only victim. Part journal, part roadmap, It Takes 2 goes to the real humanity of facing the mortality of one's better half. Mark's candid perspective, love, and fierce intention resonate with hope in a story which is about much more than cancer. Mark himself is perhaps the most heroic character for the way he appreciates this life and so many of us in it...as he says, "thanks for caring."

Réné PallaceSeptember 24, 2013

It Takes Two: A Spouse's Story by Mark Brodinsky should be read by every person who is experiencing serious illness or injury or by a loved one of someone who is experiencing either of those situations. The book is an eloquent testament to the power of love and the healing energy derived from the belief that things will get better. There is not one word of "poor me" from the author or his wife who suffered breast cancer and the radical surgery she elected to have to beat the cancer. Rather, the book is a celebration of the courage displayed by them both in seeing it through.

The book also encourages readers to speak and write down their true feelings and be validated in them. John Mackovic writing in the Palm Springs, CA Desert Sun on November 2, 2013 quoted author and artist Doe Zantamata who said, " To be happy, you don't have to do anything new. You just have to remember how to believe again...Believe everything good is possible. Believe in your dreams. Believe in people. Believe in love. But most of all...believe in yourself." The author, his wife, their family and extended family and friends never stopped believing in his wife's recovery, and I think, in themselves. Read this book and believe.

Paul A. RiecksNovember 4, 2013

This book is a must read for anyone with a family member with breast cancer. It takes you through the spouse's perspective from diagnosis to recovery. Mark journaled his wife's journey and put all of his emotions out there. It is beautifully written and inspiring to anyone going through breast cancer. Thank you, Mark for sharing Debbie's story.

Jmu1109October 23, 2013

A friend recommended this book. This was a great perspective of a man standing beside his partner and passing along to the reader fear, hope, useful information and a broader story than his own. I loved Vinnie the tattoo artist. This is a great book. Thanks for sharing, Mark and "thanks for caring"

Blahsan

This book is a must read. What sets this book apart from other books about surviving breast cancer is that it is told by the husband and his point of view, not from the survivor. At times sad, at times poignant but even through the worst of it you can always feel the love he has for his wife, her strength and the strength of their extended family and friends. The posts that are included from their friends and family lets you really into the heart and strength of the family. I would recommend this book to anyone who is currently going through this, whether you are the person or the caregiver. I also recommend this book to anyone who has a friend that has been or is currently going through their fight now. It was an eye opener for me.

L. BogashSeven Valleys, PA

There isn't a shortage of books about breast cancer, but most are written from the perspective of the person who has battled cancer or a physician or other expert. What an enlightening experience to read about breast cancer from a husband and caregiver's perspective! Not only does the author give us insight into his wife's experience and emotions, but he openly shares and reveals his love, compassion, support, and, yes, sometimes anger at the disease as he stands by his wife's side during their journey to beat the beast. Your story may not be the same, but I guarantee if you have a loved one battling cancer, you won't go wrong reading It Takes 2.

PattiMSeptember 25, 2013

From the moment I opened this book I never stopped reading. Mark invites the reader to come along on this journey that his family went through. I cried, laughed and learned so much. This book will give comfort and knowledge to those going through similar situations. Most importantly, Mark and his family never give up. They get knocked down and get right back up. They fought cancer together and with their strength, determination and will to prevail... They do!

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We all have choices in our daily lives in how we see the world, and those all around us. Whether we see others as simply part of the effects we must deal with every day, either helping us, or getting in our way, slowing us down, or completely stopping our progress. Or we can pause […]