A lot of my life choices have been reckless and spontaneous. As I get older and work toward my goals, the reckless behavior continues

Major Setback and Recovery

I have not blogged in a while. Why? This has been the worst week of my life. Through everything that has happened to me I have tried to stay positive. Today I got a manicure and pedicure and I have been wearing make up. I have been trying to dress a little cuter and laugh a little harder. You look better, you feel better. That’s what I always believed.

At this point in life I have to basically start over. Where I thought I would be going is no longer an option and people who I thought were permanent ended up being only temporary. I learned a lot this last year. It has taught me to listen to my dad’s advice from years ago. When I was little my dad would always repeat to me trust no one. Then he would ask me do you trust me? I would say of course Dad and he would say NO. I just told you trust no one… I never understood why he stressed the subject of trust so much… Until now.

You can’t love anyone until you love yourself. That is the realist thing I have ever heard. I thought I loved myself, but I realize I don’t. If I did, I would of created and had standards for how people treat me and what I chose to accept. I need to realize I don’t NEED anyone but God and that allowing myself to force and engage unhealthy relationships is only hurting me in the long run.

I will be selfish. Being selfless hasn’t gotten me anywhere and putting myself first like I always mention is something I need. For once in my life I need to do things regardless of what anyone thinks. The purpose of life is to be happy right? Life is too short and I realize that now that I am recovering from a year of lies and deceit. Please pray for me and continue to do you and no one else! That’s the only way to live. Thanks for reading 🙂