A former altar boy claims he was sexually abused by a Catholic priest and told he would “burn in Hell” if he spoke of the attacks.

Jim Lawn, 54, waived his anonymity to make allegations against Father John Gowans.

From the age of eight he was raped and beaten over a three-year period in the 1970s at St Patrick’s Church in Dumbarton.

Tragically, when he finally opened up to his deeply religious parents he claims they shunned him as “their loyalty was to the Church”.

However there are fears dozens were targeted by Gowans, now deceased, after Church elders sent him to a parish in Aberdeen.

Brave Jim from Dumbarton has now started a legal action and hopes other survivors will be inspired to take action.

He said: “Fr Gowans told me I’d burn in Hell if I refused him or spoke out.

“If telling the truth is worthy of Hell, then I wonder where he ended up?

“You never stop feeling like a victim and you never stop suffering – but if you talk to someone you at least don’t need to do it alone.”

Jim life-changing attacks started in 1972 when he attended mass as an altar boy – once on a Sunday and once mid-week.

However on weekdays he was the only boy around and says after the service Gowans would lead him to the sacristy – a private room for preparing mass.

Jim said he would then be abused and beaten – all before heading off to primary school.

Recalling the first attack, he said: “He [Gowans] took me into a toilet just off the corridor leading from the sacristy to the church.

“In a very short space of time it went from initial touching to a full attack.

“I was terrified and completely powerless to stop any of it.

“They nearly all happened like this and it happened nearly every week for two or three years.”

Gowans, believed to be in his 40s at the time of the abuse allegations, is said to have taken steps to cover his tracks such as locking doors.

Jim added: “He was very cold and organised about what he did.

“I knew what he was doing was wrong but I was simply too scared to tell anyone.”

Father John Gowans

When Jim turned 10-years-old his father’s work took him to Saudi Arabia for one year which brought an element of peace.

But the youngster was still reeling from the attacks in the form of panic attacks, sleepless nights and the fear of noises or being left alone.

The family returned to Dumbarton just before Jim started St Aloysius College in Glasgow.

Shortly after arriving the family learned Gowans was moved to a diocese in Aberdeen.

Jim said: “At the time I just felt relieved that I wouldn’t have to see him again.

“Looking back it seems unusual for a priest to be moved from one diocese to another – especially so far away.

“I do wonder to this day if there were complaints made about him at the time that led to the move.

“I just hope no one in Aberdeen suffered because you have to remove an abuser, not relocate them – otherwise it just carries on in a different post code.”

Fr Gowans’ role at St Patrick’s Church included overseeing a group called the Boys Guild – a priest-led activity club for children like the Scouts or Boys Brigade.

Jim revealed the torment of his past massively impacted his early adult years.

He said: “I lost my faith in my early 20s and stopped going to mass.

“I believed I could use my past as a motivator to help others so tried a career in

social work but it was too distressing because it caused flashbacks and I couldn’t cope.

“I married and had two children, who are now grown up, but the marriage ended after seven years and we divorced in 2001.

“The abuse meant I learned to bottle up and I think this strained the marriage to breaking point because my wife and kids didn’t know about this at the time – I could only reveal it to them around five years ago.

“I’ve had a few relationships since then but they never last – I just can’t bring myself to be close to people.”

Jim hit rock bottom in early 2000s when the build-up of emotions and flashbacks resulted in suicidal thoughts.

Jim Lawn was an altar boy at St Patrick's Church

It was during this time he bravely opened up to his GP and to his parents, which he sadly regrets.

He added: “I can remember walking home after being out at the pub and thinking that I didn’t really care if I was killed on the way home.

“Not long after telling my GP I told my parents but I regret telling them because they wouldn’t accept it and they told me not to tell anyone else – not even to my younger sister or younger brother.

“We’re talking about people of a generation that grew up being told to never question the Church so their first loyalty seemed to be to the Church and Fr Gowans rather than me.

“I still don’t speak to them to this day – they shouldn’t have turned away from me like this.

“I hope one day they can see the impact this has had on me and accept the truth for what it is – regardless of their love for the Church.

“I finally told my siblings around 2011 however the only one who has been supportive is my younger sister who even supported me when her husband recently passed away from cancer.

“If it weren’t for her and my close network of friends I don’t know how I’d got this far.”

Jim was diagnosed in 2012 with a catalogue of mental health issues which experts believe affected his entire life – and still does.

After telling his GP and parents, Jim filed a historic abuse complaint at Clydebank Police Station in 2011 however they are believed to have ceased their investigation after learning Gowans was dead.

Jim added: “Strangely, telling the police lifted the weight off my shoulders – like that was the last of the big hurdles.

“If anyone else is out there, whether abused by Gowans or someone else, then I hope you get the strength to talk to someone.

“The first conversation is the hardest but once you’ve had it, you’re empowered.

“The truth always comes out and those around you will help you get it.”