Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Yes it's me. No I am not a ghost. (*Thinks* "Man this feels so foreign to me now...")

I was just reading some of the c-box comments (which I have now locked), and the rumors are pretty hilarious I must say. I read one that the reason I was getting married or stopped blogging was because I was pregnant and that I was something else (which I prefer not to say because I want to keep things at a G rating or PG-13 at least LOL). But....um no.

Definitely NOT pregnant! But nice try.

I needed time away from this blogging world, and now attempting to come back to the blogging world makes me realize why I slowly disappeared in the first place- all the negativity. The snide comments, and fighting (readers with other readers). ANY blog, whether it be about cameras, makeup, celebrities, weddings- all have its share of negative Nancy's. And it's disheartening that you cannot spill out your innermost thoughts or opinions, without someone saying something so negative and demeaning rather than something more constructive, but "hey it's the online world Vanessa, what do you expect?". You are ABSOLUTELY right. Hence why I needed to step away longer than I had anticipated. I needed to clear my mind from any garbage. No matter what is said or done, there are people in life and in the online world that feel empowered by putting other people down, they misconstrue their rude comment as just having an opinion. And with all these young kids committing suicide because of bullying, it's really sad we hurt each other like that, and we allow ourselves to keep pushing and taking it too far. Because life is just too short for any type of pettiness. YOU ARE better than that. Just gotta ignore any bad apples, and even though it was sweet that people were coming to my defense, sometimes it just fuels the fire ya know? Sometimes the best thing is to not say anything at all.

I am actually thinking of creating another blog, and it WILL be private, and hey if some of the wonderful friends I have met on here find it, then great. But I WANT to blog about more than makeup, I WANT to blog about my wedding preparations sans baby, I WANT to say how I feel and not be judged, and just be MYSELF. Something I find that I can no longer be on here. Makeup is fun, but it's not something I prefer to be stressed about or argue about. I started this blog for it to be a useful reference. How it turned into World War II is beyond me. I am hesitant and don't want to divulge, any more of myself than I already have on here because I feel like it's not really welcomed by some and perhaps it's just causing more drama than there needs to be. It's becoming too much of a task, and there are people that expect so much when they give so little.

So I have to force myself to just keep everything strictly makeup related whenever I can post. Even posting makeup looks is something I am considering of not doing anymore, and just perhaps do product reviews and random swatches. I am basically going to TRY and start fresh.

But I will say for those who even care or wonder, that I DO appreciate the wonderful comments and prayers from my last post. Truly meant a lot to me. To have complete strangers include my family in their prayers filled me with overwhelming emotion. To give you a little update, grandma is doing remarkably well and is slowly getting back to her old weight and is becoming stronger and healthier. She is done with treatments and I am just so amazed by this woman's strength and will. And I hope that it just goes up and up from here.

I am happy with my life in this moment. So much has changed in the past year and a half, some both great and bad, but it has made us into stronger people. We are barely getting around to planning the wedding, as many things in my life (including this blog) have been pushed aside. I am happy that everything is slowly falling into place. I feel like I have matured both mentally and emotionally as well, my mindset is so completely different than it was compared to the time when I was blogging all the time. It's like I was always seeing things in a blurred vision, and now that I know what's priority and what is important- everything is so much clearer. You know what's worth fighting for, and what's not. You become grateful for what you have, and the people you have in your life that are there for you no matter what. And all the small things are just so trivial and unimportant. It's like those who never imagined themselves having children, and they do, and now they cannot imagine life without their kids. It's like that for me.

Even if I can't make a difference in someone's life, I hope that all of you will continue to make it a mission to be inspirational to someone and to just appreciate one another. We all have a place in this world, just a matter of finding where you fit.

So I leave you with this quote I found:

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
-Maya Angelou

vanessa! it's so amazing to see you here! i'm sorry for all the people that were unable to see beyond their own personal needs and feelings of having been betrayed (was that it?). regardless, i am saddened by your decision yet absolutely respect what your conclusion is. i know you mention how strong your grandmother is, and i am SOSO excited that she is doing much better, but i'd like to point out the apple doesnt fall far from the tree. you've handled all this drama online with such strength and dignity that really can be looked up to and respected. i'm also so excited you're finally getting to start planning your wedding! congratulations again and i am wishing you the happiest future ahead ever! :) i definitely think it's not always about what curve balls life throws at you, rather a matter of perspective and how you decide to interpret and grow from these situations. *hugs*

Wow it's really great to hear from you! I actually started following only a few months (I think) before you stopped posting but I do love your posts (when I look at past ones.) I agree about all the negativity.. I don't even understand the point of downing some random person you don't even know! ..But some people just get off on that and it's sad. Hope to hear more from you! You do have a wonderful blog and best wishes to you and your family.

I just wanted to say that i love that you take the high road ! Some people don't understand that blogging is a hobby, and that you have a «real» life going on...Keep on going with your wedding planning, and i wish you the best with your future husband !

YAY! Glad that everything is A OK for you girl! I really missed your blog post and glad that you inspired me to blog my heart out after I have been following your blog last year. I just hope that the people who have put rude comments on your c-box will realize what they are doing to themselves and why it's wrong to spread rumors about you that's untrue.

NESSA!!! First off, I'm sooo happy your grandma is doing well. I've honestly been wondering. I know how tough it can be to see a loved one going through all that. Was so happy to see a post pop up in my Google Reader! Wondered when the comeback would be after seeing you in a couple of other blogger's pics around IMATS time!

Secondly, I don't understand all the hatin' either. There's so much negativity in the world. People feel at ease because they can sit behind a computer and say nasty things out of spite and jealousy (the root of all nasty people if you ask me!). Just remember that for all those mean-spirited people you have dedicated readers who are happy for your return and wish nothing but the best for you, your family, and your wedding plans. You've been nothing but a positive person as long as I've been a reader! :k:

Vanessa! I've always been a slient follower/fan. I never had a blog and would just randomly come on to your page to read your blog. You were one of the main reasons I started to blog (which I just started recently). I'm glad your doing well and that your grandma is feeling much better. I learned so much from you and I remember doing a double take when I saw you at Pink's outting at the Pink Taco. I couldn't believe it. I'm glad your back to give us an update. It's almost like closure.....lol.

wow, i couldn't believe when i saw an update from you on my dashboard! lol what a lovely surprise, it's so good to see you back : )

it's good to know that our prayers for you and your loved ones helped ya'll stay strong.

everything you said in this post is so true. i didn't know anything about rumours, hope that makes you feel better? : p i think someone who stops by your page to talk trash in your cbox obviously has no life hahaha!

i hope that you will invite me to read your personal blog, i'd love to get to know you better! you seem like a woman who is wise and i feel like i (and a lot of us girls, really) just wanna find friends who are drama free. (see my last post lol)

I am so glad you are back to the blogging world! I'm sure a lot of people have missed you... hehe~ When I read people maturing and learning respect certain things (positive) instead of drama (negative), it makes me so happy! :) I love being drama-free... hehe~ :)

I got so excited to see your post on my dashboard. Vanessa, I have no idea how much I've missed reading your posts. You have your share of haters, but you have much, much more avid readers and supporters. If it's comforting, I loved reading about your life and everything besides makeup.

Vanessa I'm sorry you are forced to make a private blog I would love to read and see pictures of your wedding preparations I love weddings!!! I dont know if you still remember me. :) I am very happy that your grandmother is doing so well the power of prayer and God is good!!! Good luck in whatever you decide to do and try not to remember the bad stuff k!!! hugsAlmaalmmaaa@yahoo.com

Hi nessa!!!I´m so glad you´re back!!! and fine at all!!!It´s a surprise open email box and see updates from your blog!!!I follow your blog since 2008 and I can say that it´s the best blog of make up of the internet!!!You´re a strong girl and you should keep on with the blog!!!God bless you and your family

I am so glad to you posted again. Just like everyone else I was so excited when I received an email letting me know that there was a new post on your blog. I can completely understand how hard it must be to do something you love only to have negative people put it down, but dont let them get you down, remember all of us who truly enjoy reading your posts!!!

Im also very happy to read that your grandma is doing good and that you and the BF got your own place. That is awesome!!! And in regards to not posting your makeup looks, I really hope that you dont stop, ultimately it will be your decision, but one of my favorite parts about your blog are you AMAZING makeup looks. When I was lost on what to do with my makeup I would always come onto your blog for inspiration. My makeup addiction began after stumbling onto your blog.

I am glad your back and I hope you keep blogging your heart away. xoxo =)

Wow I am so excited to see you back! I think making your own private blog is a great idea! I know you don't know me but I use your blog all the time as reference, and I can totally relate with planning a wedding. Mine is next year and it is a job in itself! I would love to see how you go about your planning too (mostly cuz I have no idea what I'm doing) and maybe even I will start my own blog on my wedding planning as well, I am feeling inspired now!Can't wait to see how everything goes! Congrats and I hope you have fun in all the new adventures in life!

I'm not one to leave comments, but you don't understand how happy I was when I saw in my e-mail (Spam box, what the heck!!) that you posted something. Honestly, you're the one that got me into makeup, and I'm so happy that you did (not only is it my creative outlet, it's my therapy :D).

Congratulations to all that has happened in your life. Continue to do what you do best, putting smiles on others faces.

I'm so glad your life is in a place of peace. It's rare we feel we are at the right place at the right time in life. I've never met you or spoken with you in person; however, your blog has made you a friend of sorts in my eyes. I value your thoughts and views. I missed your blogs during your time of introspection. I understand there are so many people on the internet that write cruel things they would never have the courage to express in person. However, please keep in mind that there are more people that are here for more genuine reasons. God bless.

Vanessa!!! My heart skipped a beat when I saw you had a post on my dashboard!!! :) :) :) :) I <3 this blog It was the very first blog I ever visited and inspired me to start my own! I know what you mean about the negative comments, I think I get at least one everyday. I've become immune to them. People seem to get some kind of bravery behind their keyboards. Dont mind them. You are a wonderful girl and I'm so happy that you are doing well! I've missed this blog and I've thought about you! Hope we can stay in touch...oh and when you do make your new blog and make it private PLEASE invite me!!! :j: lol

Vanessa, I am soooo happy to see you back! I truly liked your blog the most out of all the beauty blogs out there and really missed reading your posts :) No stalking included, haha! Anyways glad to see you doing good and blogging again, I will sure check back often now :)Camilla

Welcome back! Glad to see you posting again, and I really don't care what you're posting about, though I'd love to follow along on those wedding plans 'cuz those are happy things :)

Must be me and my Alzheimer's, but I don't remember tons of drama? Just the usual handful of posts about why you have so much (fill in the blank) when the commentor doesn't. Those were always in the minority, and just a part of life for anyone with a large readership.

Hey Vanessa....so so glad u r back.....i miss reading ur posts....u r a wonderful writer..what i mean is you are someone i can relate to..thanks for all your good work....and yes Heartiest congratulations on your upcoming wedding....and i would love to follow your new blog too to see how you go about your wedding....i am sure you will make it as interesting and fun as your makeup blog....please let us know about your new blog also when you start....i would hate not to read your blogs in future :)

Wow! I would check NessasaryMakeup every morning just to see if you would ever come back and you did! I'm so happy that your Grandma is doing well, I lost mine around the time you mentioned yours was ill. Your words and quotes were beautiful and inspirational. But you gotta let the haters hate-theres so much sour grouchy people lurking around-but theres people like me that truly love your blog!Goood Luck on your weddding!!

Hi Vanessa, glad that you are back. Really missed reading your post. It was like an early Christmas when I saw the RSS Feed from your blog. I have been on and off reading your old post while you were away and waited for months. Finger cross & thank god you are back.

Most important, have a great wedding and lots of love for you and ur hubby to be.

The other day I tried to explain to some online people why I don't say mean things, even if its about a celebrity and they were totally baffled. Somehow people have begun to believe that its totally acceptable to say rude comments to people who you don't even know & therefore have no basis in judging them.

Oh goody, you're back! I was kind of wondering where you went and reading your post cleared up some "rumors" that I read on your shoutbox. I've been in the blogging world since 2000 and yes, some people can get nasty, emotional and what-not. But I am thankful that you're back because I've been looking forward to more tutorials from you. =)

So sad that folks have to ruin a great blog with immaturity and negativity. I hope that you receive more love than hate and continue to post blogs for those readers that enjoy your posts. Congrats on your engagement and upcoming nuptials!

I'm really sorry that some people choose to be vile and negative to such a wonderful and creative person. I kept checking every month, every few weeks to see if you had posted anything and I was really excited/happy/glad to find that you were back! Last night I was doing a make up test for a friend, from stuff I learned from your blog and I was soooooo happy when I checked the site and it was updated, yay!!! I am also really glad that your grandma is better. There's no better news than that (other than the updates on the wedding!) to all of us fans that have followed you for a while and actually care about such a wonderful and creative person such as yourself! I learned both about make up, skin care and other things thanks to you and this blog and it has helped me sooooooooo much! I know it might sound a little silly but your advice and tips make a great impact on people like me that find it a bit harder to shine.

So keep it up! I don't post a lot but I'm definitely a big time lurker and supporter. Welcome back!

OMG!! Can't believe you're back. YAY! I actually still go back to your old posts to use as reference in my makeup endeavors. Would love to see tidbits of your wedding planning, as well (if you are gonna be blogging about that).

OMG I'm so glad you're ok and back!! I kept checking your blog for updates but no updates for a while, i was just hoping everything is okay. I know some people don't seem to understand that we do have our own life outside of our blogs and we all have responsibilities and other things to worry about. I'm glad you're grandma is doing better and that everything is turning out okay for you now. Those wedding invitations look awesome..hope you still update whenever you have time, but I do understand what it's like. Just don't let the haters get to you. You have a lot more fans then haters believe me, and they are just hating because they are jealous. Take care, and good luck with the wedding planning. I wish you nothing but the best, and I'm so glad you're back :)xoxo

I am so happy that your blogging again! Your blog was actually the 1st makeup blog I had ever read! I found you through a picture I seen online that had your blog address on it! :)I hope you continue to blog and ignore all those mean people who are so miserable they just want other to feel that way too. I really hope you have time to check out my blog I just started one and no one really has seen it! So maybe you can give me some pointers?

I already tell you this but I am very happy that you are back .. but more important that you feel better with all the things you have lived in the past months. I am happy to hear also that you grandmother is better now.. like you said, we dont know each other but you have mark some lifes and mine is one of them although I don't comment that much. I really wish you the best and more blessings to you and all the people you care about. Just do what makes you happy Nessa and people will love you for that. Like you said, in real life and in virtual or online life, there is always someone who wants to screw other's life ... dont let them do that to you because you are a better person than them. I am very happy that you are back and I wish all the happiness for you and your fiance. Greetings from Mexico!

hi Vanessa... I have very recently started reading your blog and i am totally addicted to it.... And then today I read this post of yours... I dunno what went wrong earlier but I am glad that you are back on the scene and we get to still read your latest posts :)I so love this blog... <3

I was so excited to see a new post in my iGoogle gadget! Vanessa I love your blog, it has inspired me over the years to take care of myself more and be more positive. I can't tell you how much my view of myself has improved since I started taking little steps to improve how I look, like eating better and even just wearing mascara.If you decide to stop doing FOTDs I must admit I will be a little sad. You have the same skintone as me and I love seeing the looks you come up with. Through the blog posts and pictures I guess I feel like I know you as a friend and it makes me sad to think I won't see my friend anymore, you know? But ultimately it's whatever you feel is best.I hope that doesn't sound creepy!Congratulations on having had a good hiatus :) Sometimes it just helps so much to be away!

i just checked your blog randomly and was pleasantly surprised to see you back! i think you were one of the pioneers of the beauty blogging/product swatching/ reviewing girls online. i really missed your posts! i hope wedding planning is going well. if you need any help, i can email you a list of a bunch of sites that helped me when i planned my wedding 2 yrs ago. so glad to see you back again!!!!

I've never posted a comment here before but I've been checking your blog since a few months before you stopped posting. I've been checking the website ever since, hoping a new post would be up.I hope you can put the negativity aside and continue the blog, for others but also for yourself :-).

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