Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Expect nothing;Appreciate everything"~UnknownRight off the bat I can say I appreciate this quote on appreciation.I appreciate organic tomatoes:I appreciate warmth when it is too coldAnd coolness when it is too hot.I appreciate clean water:And the availability to drink it freely:I appreciate laughter & Bugs Bunny:Finding humor when their is so much sadnessAnd I appreciate being able to hear the laughter.I appreciate feeling deeply when there are many are too numb to feel at all.I appreciate being 60 when far too many do not get out of childhood, adolescent or experience young adulthood.I appreciate grandeurAnd awesome-ness even at night:I appreciate the arts in all its genres,Dance:*Music in all its forms:*Visual:Literature:I appreciate love both small & largeAnd seasoned with cayenne:

In stolen moments:I appreciate purple sofas:And red lipstick:And great perfume:**Beautiful flowers, gardens and natural spaces:I appreciate friendships long ones and short ones:I even appreciate those who show who they are, so I know not to be that way:I appreciate even more who show kindness so I can be that way more:

Monday, December 27, 2010

Remember, once you're a pickle, you can never be a cucumber again."~UnknownLast night as I was wrapped up in blankets trying to stay warm, I got to thinking about what I am going to do here very soon. I do not and will not have a "bucket list" as I think that phrase like so many others gets tiresome & cliche' very easily and can be trite.I am not interested in what I want to do before I die type list. I do like know what new experiences I can have while I live. One thing I had done in classic procrastination is never finished my book. Now I did not say write it as I've been written enough for more then one, I just never bother to fine tune or attempt to get it published.There are other things that I let "Buts" get in the way of some in my control and others far beyond my control. As with the manuscript, out of my control was having my entire manuscript wiped out of my hard drive by a well intentioned friend & right now I cannot afford to get it in to someone with more skills then I to see if any or all is retrievable.What is in my control is not to belabor the fact, but get to writing again. Yes this could be even better then before, but I won't know until I do it. What was in my control is things I did not know I would want to write about & did not in the last manuscript, but now I want to. I think the avoidance for me was having to see something in its entirety and giving it a voice and I was as ready then as I am now to put it down.Because putting it down means I have to also really put it down.As with many writers far more prolific then moi, if I am reading correctly, writing can be a carthisis, a release & one may have to be prepared to "go there".I've been told for years, "So when will you/I write that book, so when will you/I publish",etc".Well while laying there, the words kept popping in my head the 1st chapter.. So today I started a new chapter and plan to write just a little bit everyday. I also plan to submit by June 2011, a synopsis of the book to a publishing company that last summer I failed to submit as planned. The time apparently was not right, I was too close to surgery to do it so the lie I told myself.Well now that excuse is gone...Then, the 1st thing I hear this morning turning on the news was the death at age 54 of the singer Teena Marie, a prolific songwriter,singer & musician. Far too young and was really I think coming into her own in a second stage, from natural causes. I've never met her, have seen her in concert and saw she had a talent to reckon with. My heart is sad for her family.But I found myself tearing up just so much.No I did not have any kind of an ephiphany nor the over use euphenisms people like to use when a celebrity or performer dies on how life is short etc. I felt sad for her shortened life when there was more , it was apparent, she was on her way to do. And I felt sadden for her family.My tears were for another reason and I think hearing of her death was a jump off point.We cannot go back to something or stay with something once we have changed as in the afore-mentioned quote:"Remember, once you're a pickle, you can never be a cucumber again."So now what to do?I just did it...I wrote.I put it down...R.I.P Lady T... She was the business

Here in N.O.La since we are indeed on a crescent the heavenly bodies rise not in a linear way but in a curve. About midnight I started in earnest to step outside so I can figure out the positioning of the moon in its arching.

I was not let down. While the local news predicted it would be a full eclipse around 1:41am CST, it did not until 2:20am, but it was a show all the way.

The moon at its highest point was directly over my roof, so I had to climb down the stars to stand on the sidewalk to look up. I chuckled to myself as I could only imagine one of my neighbors looking out & seeing this woman on the sidewalk at 2am looking at the sky.

But then again it is New Orleans.

I felt no fear being out there in the middle of the night alone as I was not alone..

After I saw the glory of this:

12-22-10

I then came in and promptly felled into the deepest, dreamless sleep I had had in some time awakening refreshed and still even now find myself smiling ever so lightly.

Monday, December 20, 2010

I just came in here in early twilight checking for the mail when I noticed nestle in between the old Victorian house across the street and some trees this beautiful, glorious full moon beginning it ascent skyward. As I was admiring it and the tickle of my chimes ringing out the pentatonic scales in baritone. The melody in my chimes are the sounds of what became the song Amazing Grace, but in actuality it was a West African sorrow chant sung by enslaved Africans from Sierra Leone in the belly of the ship. At that time, John Newton in 1748, a slaver who turned away from slavery and penned Amazing Grace. At the Library of Congress when you see the copy it said written by John Newton, melody unknown

Normally I would not use a link like this but the information is excellent. Please listen to this very brief demonstration & lecture by Wintley Phipps. I wished there was another taping with simply the lecture, but this is it ;good historical facts:

Then I noticed or heard rather, rolling on the winds on my street ever sound lovingly was the sounds of a trumpet, intermingling almost in a deliberate concert with my chimes. Whomever it was really knew how to play! I forgot what I went outside for!

It was haunting and clear. I just stopped for a few minutes to listen.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

About 8 years ago I was invited to a poetry ready at the Neutral Ground Cafe which I am delighted to know survived Katrina and has reopened. During this Sunday afternoon open mike was a young man,very non-descript who walked up to the mike with an acoustic guitar and had this voice so sweet,I was swept away.

Not one but 2 poems about him while I was there...

I've not seen him since... I do not know if HE survived the storm or ever came back to New Orleans...

A man on the string…And he sings a celebration that swept the world.Flowing with a mysterious refrain…Will you continue to sing with the man on the string?Who stopped just long enough, only to begin still another celebration unto me?

This man on a string, as he continues to ping.Oh just so doing his thing…

His sound was like John Denver with cayenne pepper…Thrown in for good measure.And his sound wrapped around my left ear.Engaging his heart’s voice enlivening my soul.His sound is like John Denver with cayenne thrown in for good measure.(Fly away…. Fly away…. Flay a-waaaay!)

I discovered this poem I had written while sorting through a huge pile of ones as I slowly replace a lot of things after my hard drive crashed. It had been almost a decade ago when walking in the pouring rain that was so hard I could not tell where the curb ended and literally fell on my face. It was one of those could it get any worse kind of moments...Boy did I ache the next day!

However the day this happen I went home after drying off this popped in my mind...Today I smiled upon reading my words and remembering the time, because it was simply that.. a time.

I’ve fallen on my face…Soaked in a downpour when…Out of the blue...I fell on my face!“What else can happen?There’s no way out!What more do I need to do?I so weary…This can’t go on..Oh God, no more!”

I fell on my face!Can I look up?

Or get up?Roll over… Push away?No cheering around me…No motivational speakers to perform…(Not even a phantom applause).No assistance just hard driving rain…Pelting relentlessly.And all around me...Weeds, debris…broke(No hope)

I fell on my face!But I got up…And kept on walking.Soaked to the core…And carried on.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

This morning I was watching on Good Morning America a brave civilian woman come to the aid of a police officer being overwhelmed by someone in what was suppose to be a routine traffic stop; a second woman who bravely came back after fleeing from a gunman who was attempting to do harm to a school board in Florida & I realized I had started to cry.

First I was very proud of these women who showed bravery when they could have simply ran & took care of themselves in the midst of danger...

Then the beginning of this poem popped in my head. I know when a poem is coming and scattered looking for paper & pen to write it down. What happened next was what you see below. This is a rough draft, I may tweak, then again I may just leave it in its purest,rawest form...

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

I was delighted one of my classmate from my counseling class stopped by today and brought me a homemade brownie wrapped in wax paper. I almost creid when she told me this tradition in her family. It was very nice today to share for a second in someone's family's tradition, especially sionce I do not have MY family near. It was very very nice. (And yummy).

As Iturned to go back into the house I suddendly realized that I had accidently left one of my hanging plants outside in the freezing cold the last few nights, but there it was alive not only kickin' but thriving enough despite the cold produced a bloom! These were not flowers that normally will bloom in Dec let along in 29 degree weather. But there it was.

Immediately the song "Wildflower" started whirling around in my head with the song Wild Fire but I solved the trivia mystery knowing it was Wildflower I was pay attention to.

I looked to it that humble plant despite the freezing air not only stood firm, but was fierce enough to produce a bloom. As I picked it up I got the connection for myself and carried it gently into the house.

Then I was delighted to receive an email with a song that for me is as captivating now as the first time I heard it. But this was from a concert called "Black Girls Rock". The song original performed by the late Nina Simone was also featured in the Soundtrack for the movie "For Colored Girls who Considered Suicide when the Rainbow is Enuf".

Monday, December 6, 2010

I was actually writing a response to a question in one of my team member this morning which spurred me to expand a little of my thoughts to her question today.

After a second night of waking up at 3am unable to return back to sleep, I "listened" in my heart which is usually my freshest best thinking. My first conscious thoughts in the morning when I pay attention and not rush off to others jabbering tends to be the most accurate.

My 1st thoughts today was "I don't want this any more". Now those thoughts did not tell me exactly what "THIS" is or was, just I did not want "this" any longer.

If I know my heart well enough it will let me know in more clarity if I just be still & leave it alone so it (or me) can get to it.

I feel sadly about someone I thought I was getting to know a bit over the last 4-5 months ago said something a few days ago in a conversation we were having about their their view about who I am , what I am about & where they think I should be. I was a bit surprised how they came to their conclusions as the times we have been together have been limited, infrequent and even in that span he spent a great deal of time interrupting me, but yet he draped a conclusion that was really off base.

No I did not take his proclamations as being gospel truth (and for the record it was not all bad), in fact although skewed & racked with misinformation, I was pretty amazed that I sat & listened.

Ok,I confess, I was really curious what he thought...

As I reflect back on that conversation I came to my own conclusion that maybe I need to treat this person gently, but at a safer distance... His definition of me did not jibe with me. I think his motive while he felt he was being sincere & well intended had a lot less to do with me then things he are working on himself with a wee bit of male arrogance & presumption thrown in for a garnish.

Then this morning looking somewhere else this quote caught my eye:

“When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.” ~ Wayne Dyer .

So his defining me really was more about how he defined himself. I won't go into his background but to say he was defining his own history while he was "thought" me.

I don't know if it ever goes away this modern trend of humans who make extremely fast judgements and actually going out to reshape other people with or without their consent.

I do know that negative views are not always a negative thing to wash away easily . How we use it may allow a different shape or texture to emerge or we may view it with different lens which may by doing that turns a negative into a positive(?) if we want that?

My self image isn't usually a negative one but then how do you know if something is positive if there isn't something negative to contradict it?

What I do know that right now in this tumultuous time, many a day I am tired, very tired and need a serious break from all the stuff that my current circumstances which is way too much like a popular series which keeps having spin offs with knowing the next spin off is getting worse, so it is time to close out the brand.

I do not want to hear by pundits, self-appointed cultural shapers, low mouth selfish blow-hards who in a more sane time be dismissed as so much wind warming the air tell me, you or who how it is to be done if you only _________" while you are drowning and they hand you a glass of tepid water while you're crashing around in high waves.

Ok ok I am not spinning wheels here, but I just don't see life as always being sunshine, lollipops and rainbows every second,. You cannot have rainbows w/o rain. And night has to fall for the sunshine to appear. And you WILL encounter jerks, naysayers, twisted people, lonely souls and lets face it mighty cruel,selfish people who sole job it appears is to remind you NOT to be like that.

Other days I am not that noble or magnanimous or brave enough to face gale force winds with my eyes focused on the prize...As that old country western song would say "it only happens in the movies..(or TV, DVDs or the Internet).

I'm not sure yet where I will go with that. Or with this.

What I know rings true for me is when when my synapses are firing up and I am during these middle of the night wake up, I have to do one thing well.

According to their website: "We the Buttonwood artSpace – an art & artist display and sale gallery complete with custom framing service! Located In Kansas City Missouri, atop historic Union Hill, our space is provided to us through the philanthropic dedication of Jon & Wendy McGraw and Buttonwood Financial Group, LLC. Though the tireless efforts of the staff of BFG, and the leadership of a voluntary artSpace board of directors, Buttonwood artSpace has come to symbolize a quality community display space. We routinely host four to five “First Friday” Opening nights per year, are a member of the Crossroads Art District, and offer the artSpace free of charge as an event space to non profit organizations".

Je suis la Lune~I am Moon

JACQUELYN HUGHES MOONEY Visual Poet/Lecturer/Idealist-Dreamer/Seasoned Storytelling Woman creating vibrant, jazzy, contemporary, quilted textile collages, shaped her "rhythm & views" with daydreams, books, dollhouses & coloring books with exuberance packing a NOLa vibe with a West Coast groove!
She will challenge the beholder to embrace the world with fire & passion, often incorporate in the quilts, poetry & storytelling divergent patterns that can whisper or shout a compelling story. She want for people to appreciate that even "mistakes"/imperfections/ raw edges can have a beauty of its own.
Highly empathetic & intuitive, her sensitivity to others' plights is tempered with her belief that every person deserves dignity & respect which is the roots of her Fig Tree Project. With her mes affaires belle (my beautiful belongings), Jacquelyn is
very interpretive, ageless, spatial ,centered, meaningful in her art can/is be all things to all people.
Rhythm & Hues beats, hums, sings and speaks ...
It poses, profiles, winks, smiles and smirks ...
It all but breathes ...
But then it does that, too.