Why No NaNoWriMo

Image courtesy of Ruthless Scribblings

For those of you out there who aren’t writers or who otherwise have lives, the month of November has officially been designated “National Novel Writing Month” by some invisible entity who I’m sure has financial interests in coffee beans and manufacturers of bandages worn by carpal tunnel syndrome sufferers.

What NaNoWriMo is supposed to represent is the coming together of writers into a virtual community where they offer each other support in pursuit of their craft. As a part-time writer and full-time poster child for Oppositional Defiance Disorder this endeavor was doomed to epic failuredom before I applied my first electron to virtual paper. So in the interest of self-analysis I’ve decided to break down the factors involved in why my second novel exists entirely in my mind. In no particular order I blame:

The New England Patriots – pound cake – Nadia G’s Bitchin’ Kitchen – my daughter’s adorable feet – Junior’s Burt Reynolds style laugh – an endlessly ringing phone thanks to Prince Charming’s charm – my mother’s inability to comprehend American television – Frank Stallone – my Jeep – The New Hampshire Primaries (stand by for a longer post tackling the magnitude of what I face daily due to this gift of the Granite State) and last but not least, this little ditty of a video that I have spent entirely too much time watching over and over. Seriously, it’s a train wreck.

42 responses

Sorry but that video made me throw up a little in the back of my throat. Off to find the brain bleach… *shudder* … this is almost as creepy as that freak-tastic anonymous story, H.E. What are you trying to do to us?

Sadly I blame this video for my failure to write as well. I will say though, my next book will be published in April(true) and it is all due to the generous love and support that is Mr Frank Stallone.
One last thing, I ran into Ron Jeremy about a month ago(true again). That’s all, I ran into him, I think I’m pregnant.

Goulash? I’m afraid to ask. It sounds like something that mystery writer would eat.

November 26, 2011 at 4:23 pm

Lisa Wields Words

Hilarious and disturbing all in one. Your description of NaNoWriMo intrigues me: “What NaNoWriMo is supposed to represent is the coming together of writers into a virtual community where they offer each other support in pursuit of their craft” . . . seems to me that describes the world of BLOGGING to perfection, without the time pressure of producing 50,000 words in a month.

I am not going to lie, I wanted to finish my second novel in November due to this “NaNoWriMo” but I came across the same problem as you, I need 36 hours in a day and not 24!! I also blame Ben, I mostly write in bed, Do I have to explain anymore?! No did not think so, not second novel is now 10,000 words long instead of 75,000 … I fail!! So do not feel bad because I can not do it either, American football also detracted me, staying up till early hours in the morning means its actually on telly … again I fail!!

I wrote a little this month on my novel. It’s not that I don’t have time to write. I just couldn’t get into this room. But my brain worked on it, and wrote a few things, and when I woke up the other morning, I had She Looked Back And Smiled and two chapters in my novel sitting in my brain’s outbox. Thanks, Dream Hotspur!

Damn! LMFAO are fucking geniuses. You can’t tell if they’re being serious or mocking all the dumb shit songs out there – that’s right in my wheelhouse. They’ve got a vid featuring them as a scrappy sports team, with a surprise at the end. Which sport? Fucking CURLING! I know, right?

I’m disturbed by how many bloggers admit to being in some kind of therapy. For my peace of mind, I’m going to assume that blogging is the result, not the cause. First you’re a little bit crazy, then you go on the internet and tell people. Wait a minute…What does that say about ME?

My daughter stuck this song on my ipod, unbeknownst to me. I was out for a run one day and it started up…I had to stop because my laughter was hindering any thing resembling running. The song is hilarious…