Soap addicts out there will know what I mean when I say that my life revolves around soaps. My whole evenings are planned around what time each soap is on, and I time it to perfection.

So, if you like a good gossip about your favourite soap characters, or you just want a laugh at someone else's expense, then you have come to the right place...

After last week's fun-filled events in Albert Square, (I could barely contain my excitement at the prospect of Jim and Dot's wedding) there is only one thing on everyones lips and it has to be, "DON'T DO IT JAMIE."

How can such a cute young man marry such a beast! There, I said it. It is what you all were thinking, so let's just be honest, Sonia is a real boiler, not only that, but she has to be the most miserable twenty-something on the planet.

And while I am on a roll, the casting director should be sacked for the muppet re-incarnation that is the new Sam. Is she a rogue clone of Sharon?, her lips have a life of their own. I would love to see the four of them in a scene together, as Sharon's and Sam's lips battle for domination, Phil walks in and realises the full horror of his life.

This weeks events prove just as exciting, as Janine's new best friend Charlie causes a stir in the Square and the Slaters celebrate Mo's birthday in true Slater style. Oh, and Mark gets in a flap, again.

Events in Emmerdale have taken a turn for the worse with Bernice finally confessing to Ashley that she can't stop thinking about her nail extensions, unfortunately, all I can think about is how on earth did tea-bag land such a cushy number?

Coronation Street has not been top of the pops in our house lately but things look like they are set to heat up a bit.

Candice's dangerous liason with Jason resulted in a good old brawl on the cobbles, just what we like to see. But the questions remain, what will happen to Maria?, should Fizz be digging her claws deeper into Tyrone?, and does this mean that Todd and Sarah-Lou will finally get their rocks off?

Of course it does, but at the end of the day, anything is more exciting than listening to Dreary harp on about life with Ken.

The other major storyline keeping us glued to our seats is Vic and his bored housewife lover, well actually, the only thing keeping me glued to my seat is the hope that the next episode will see Bobby's mullet gain a new lease of life, sort it out girl!

And finally to Brookside. The Murray's are a touch of genious. They have to be the best addition to the close since the Jordache's.

Adele's bedroom striptease had to be one of the funniest things I have seen in a long time, as lets face it, it is an embarrasment we have all suffered at some point in our lives, haven't we?

At the risk of sounding like an image obsessed bimbo, whatever happened, to the Brookside glamour days?

Jacqui Dixon decked out in matching shell suit and trainers and Susannah peeling off designer tat. Come on Brookie, you know you can do better, lets have more sauce with our chips.