Live-Blogging Project Runway Season 5 Finale, Pt. 1 October 9, 2008

8:59 – Previously on Project Runway, I didn’t particularly like, or care about, ANY of the designers. Also, I constantly skipped the live-blog to keep up with premiere season. But I’m here now! And that’s the important thing, am I right? Okay, so here’s the deal, it’s ABK time. Anybody But Kenley. Cause I may not care much about the other three, but at least they didn’t go around dissing Tim Gunn & being smug to Heidi. You’re certainly not going to be the next great American fashion designer if you go around insulting the people trying to help you. Anyway, because Korto, Jarell & Leanne are all kind of meh—by which I mean, not interesting enough to keep around for drama & not brilliant enough to keep around for legitimacy—Kenley gets a stay of execution. All four designers will design a collection, but only three will show, & unlike Season 4, all four can be auf-ed before they get to Bryant Park. Only not really, because they’re going to show a decoy collection, but let’s just pretend we don’t know that.

9:00 – PS: As always, my caring for the designers’ personal lives is minimal. So clearly, I’m not going to spend too much time talking about Tim Gunn’s home visits. Just letting you know up front. Let’s get to the clothes, people.

9:01 – No apartment open this time. Heidi comes out & tells them they only get two months for their collection…they also have to design a wedding dress. Well, at least that’s a reasonable amount of time to do a wedding dress. They’ll be judged on the wedding dress for who will get to show at Bryant Park. But wait, I’m confused, do they have to do an entire collection in two months? Cause I know that is a significantly less time than previous seasons have…. Anyway, Tim Gunn comes out & tells them he’ll be doing home consultations. Tim & Heidi walk into the sunset.

9:02 – Kenley complains that she was sabotaged by the rest of the designers in the last challenge. Um. When did this happen, Kenley? Cause I kind of remember you insisting on doing the ugly scaly dress when even Tim told you it’s awful. Whatever, Kenley.

9:03 – Kenley takes off without saying goodbye as the rest of the designers hug & go the separate ways. Next, we see Tim Gunn, driving around in his Saturn, going to visit Korto. Her wedding dress doesn’t look like a wedding dress, although Tim loves most of what she’s done so far on her collection. I don’t understand. So she is doing a collection? The rest of Tim’s visit involves a performance by Korto on what I’m sure isn’t bongo drums, but that’s the only reference I have. Tim loves it. He’s the kind of person who would appreciate it. Kenley’s the kind of person who would think it’s stupid.

9:08 – Next is Leanne. Her collection is based on waves. The blue-green is kind of a weird color choice. Just seems there’s a different shade she could have chosen that would be a little more high-fashion. It’s just so beachwear casual, you know what I mean? But the ideas, which mainly include little waves (not ruffles) of fabric on the skirt & a simple white top. Tim kinda loves it. It’s clearly Leanne. Reminds me a little of her New York inspiration challenge black circle dress, which was probably my favorite outfit of all the designers this season. The rest of this visit…involves Tim riding on a two-person bike with Leanne. Okay, really? This just seems like the producers were like, hey! Why don’t you two get on that bike & do a hilarious ride through a park! Too far, producers. Pull it back.

9:15 – Tim visits Jarell next in LA. Hey, I’m in LA! And Jarell is probably the designer I like most! We should be BFF. Jarell’s collection is highly texturized with a lot of sculptured design. It’s actually kind of pretty. Although it’s a little prom gown. PS: Jarell’s totally got a goatee going on & for some reason, it makes him look less of a TV character & more of a normal person. Or maybe it’s because he’s not wearing a comical hat. Anyway, Tim thinks there’s a lot going on on his looks. Let’s see what wacky Tim Gunn stunt happens this time…talking…more talking…& Tim leaves. Well, that’s lame.

9:19 – Kenley’s last & I hate her the moment I hear her fake voice. She hugs Tim Gunn & all I can think about is her saying Tim doesn’t know anything. She tells us that she does value Tim Gunn’s opinion, even it doesn’t sound like she does. Uh huh. Right. Whatever, Kenley. Kenley’s theme is kind of Alice in Wonderland (painting the roses red). She’s actually painted a lot of the fabrics. It’s actually pretty. There are some pieces that have ropes around the neck. Tim doesn’t get it & Kenley gets a little of the whiny voice back as she says she likes ropes. Tim does like a lot of the rest of the collection & the wedding dress. Great. F-ing Kenley’s going to make it to the final 3. Good God.

9:22 – All the designers arrive back in New York. Everyone but Kenley talk about how much they don’t want to deal with Kenley. Of course Kenley arrives last. PS: Korto & Leanne, who got there first, stick Jarell with a room with Kenley. Jarell says he’ll sleep on the couch. Kenley comes in & it’s way awkward. Jarell points out their room & Kenley awkwardly fake-apologizes on her way into the room. She interviews that she doesn’t want to deal with the other designers, she just wants to get to Bryant Park. It’s a smidgen less awkward, especially when Tim Gunn sends up some liquor.

9:25 – The designers arrive in the workroom & Tim comes in. He says there’s one more challenge. Oh, here it is. Surprise! They have to design a bridesmaid dress to go with the wedding dress. Everyone is defeated. Surprisingly, no one breaks down in tears.

9:30 – Back from commercials, the designers & Tim go to Mood. Leanne picks out more of her beachwear blue fabric. Korto, undaunted, tells us a bridesmaid dress is basically just a frou-frou-ed up evening gown. They only get ‘til midnight. Touche, think the designers.

9:32 – Back in the workroom, Kenley starts does that thing where she’s smiling & pretending to joke around about how the rest of the designers threw her under the bus, but you can definitely tell she’s still evil underneath that smile.

9:33 – Korto tells us bridesmaid dresses don’t have to be ugly. Word, Korto! Tim comes back for consultations. He starts with Kenley & I can’t tell you how much I hate hate HATE her voice when she does that loud whine thing when she explains stuff to other people. Jarell’s dress is looking ugly. Oh, please fix it, Jarell. It would suck for you to get dropped off because the producers want to sneak Kenley in. I’m not a fan of Leanne’s wedding dress, which has the waves thing going on in the middle of the dress. Tim likes it though & I trust Tim. And her bridesmaid dress, which has the waves on the top, looks pretty. For some reason, the beachwear green looks pretty good here. Tim thinks Korto’s wedding dress & bridesmaid dress look like exactly the same. Big problem, since Korto bought like the exact same fabric. Anyway, Tim gets all choked up talking about how much he cares about all of them. AWWW. Okay, that’s sweet, but there’s no way you care more this season than last season first of all, since these people aren’t nearly as good. And? You do not care that much about Kenley. Let’s not lie to each other, Tim. You can say it. I wish failure on Kenley too.

9:40 – Text vote this week: who shouldn’t go to Fashion Week. Oh God, this is going to be a massacre.

9:41 – Back in the workroom, day-of-runway-show. Tim comes in, gives his product placement speech & sends in the models. Kenley notices that Leanne & Korto both shortened their dresses like Kenley’s. She interviews how pissed off she is, which is weird because a) I think of bridesmaid dresses are generally shorter & b) Kenley was there when Tim Gunn totally told at least Leanne to take up the length of her dress. Kenley clearly just hasn’t met her whining/complaining quota for this episode.

9:42 – Korto interviews that someone is going home & she loves everyone there, even Kenley. That’s just a lie.

9:43 – On the runway, Heidi comes in & tells them the bridesmaid dress & wedding dress will determine who will go to Bryant Park. She introduces Michael & Nina. Let’s start the show!

9:44 – Jarell’s wedding dress is huge & like crazy. It’s almost pageant-y, because it reminds me of Kayne’s dress that won the Miss Universe challenge. Also, there are flowers spouting from the model’s hair. It’s kind of ridiculous. The bridesmaid dress isn’t great either. There’s something weird about her top, it’s just kind of technically weak. I don’t like Kenley’s shortened wedding dress, but I like her blue bridesmaid dress. It’s seriously adorable, dammit. Korto’s bridesmaid dress doesn’t look like it belongs in a wedding. And her wedding dress is very like 80’s, no poof, stiff. I still don’t like the waving poofs of Leanne’s wedding dress, but the color looks really pretty on her model. Love her bridesmaid dress. It’s so chic.

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I don’t quite understand why they had them make an entire collection when they wern’t getting judged on it and one person wouldn’t even get to show theirs. Seems kind of pointless. At least last year they made their final decision based on a part of the designers collections. Also, didn’t Jarell win the last challenge…so what was the point of that challenge if he’s out this time anyway. They need to stop overproducing the show and revamp it. Some new judges would help, too.

@circleK Well, Jarell is going to get to show as a decoy collection, so I guess that’s good. I totally agree with you: Jarell should have gotten immunity for the last challenge. Also? His dress was clearly superior to the others. I don’t see how he “barely” won. Anyway, I really feel like the show dipped down this year, both in quality of designers & fairness of judging.