It was meant to be...

I'm sure we all agree that CTY is a magical place, and that things happen there that change your life forever.

I have a story.. things are still in the making, but I really wanted to post the first part before I forgot anything (as if it's in danger of being forgotten! HA!.. but oh well, here it goes, it has three parts, sorry it's so long)

Part 1 - CTY JHU 2005.01I was 14. I'd been to CTY before, but not the year before, because I'd skipped it to play summer soccer(which turned out to be a big mistake, but whatever). It was my first time flying alone, so I was a little scared, but knew I could handle it. I got to the airport without any problems, and met Tara, the very pretty TA that was to meet me. She told me that we had to pick up another CTYer, so we went to wait at the other gate. While we were waiting for this "J***** B********" to arrive, I noticed a couple college looking kids holding up a sign with that same name on it! I thought this quite odd, and brought it to Tara's attention. After assuring her that, yes, I was sure it said the same name her paper said, she went up to them, and it was decided that they were wrong, and we were right. He would be coming with us(which turned out to have more lasting effects on me than I could have ever realized at that point in time). Then we saw him. A lost-looking, blonde-haired blue eyed, rather attractive teenage boy. We did the whole introduction thing, but didn't talk much, because I was shy, and he was, well, hott. We had some trouble with both of our suitcases flipping over when we rolled them(which would become a running joke between us in the time to come), so it took us pretty long to get out of that airport.We arrived at the campus not late, but certainly after most people. I had a little trouble finding my RA group,and getting my suitcase to my room, so by the time I was on the campus tour with my group, I was flustered, and shy because I didn't know anyone. Then, he walked by. Relieved to see a familiar face, I smiled and waved, and he did the same. The girls in my hall were, to put it simply, impressed, and demanded to know how I knew him. I told them how we met at the airport. Since he was wearing a white shirt, and we were typical teenage girls, scared he'd know we were talking about him, we referred to him as "White Boy" from then on.I don't know if it was lust at first sight, the magic of CTY, or just the simple fact that I was desperately searching for a summer romance to make up for the bad luck with guys I'd been having back home, but I developed the biggest obsession/crush you could imagine. Every day, I'd secretly note the color shirt he was wearing, in order to easily spot him the rest of the day. I prayed he'd be in the same activity as me, but he rarely, if ever, was.The first dance was hawaiian themed, and my hall, in its usual amazing-ness worked together to make a pink flowy skirt I had into a dress. Simply because they were brilliant, and able to do such things. I felt great going into the dance, but my mood soon changed when I realized that.. I don't dance. At all. My hall was upset, to say the least, especially when I retreated to the game room in my typical "I hate dances" emo-like attitude, that all my friends at home were accustomed to, but my new friends had yet to learn. Unlike my friends at home however, they refused to take no for an answer, and took it into their own hands. They cornered the object of my affections, and demanded that he ask me to dance. I was mortified, and although I got up and went back into the dancing area, I refused to dance. My argument was that he had said "You should dance!" not "Dance with me!", so I felt this action was justified. My friends had a different idea however. Finally, they got me to dance with him. I was so scared, but tried to do all the right things; make conversation, not step on his feet, or trip over my own, you know! I don't remember what we talked about, but I think he said that he didn't like kids, which was a disappointment to me, seeing as kids are my passion(I overlooked his momentary lapse in sanity however, and kept dancing with him).That second week, my crush simply deepened, but with no reciprocation from him it seemed. By the second dance, I was crazy, wondering if he felt the same. I can't remember if my friends made him again,or he asked by himself, but we ended up dancing, to a few songs(it bugs me that I can't remember them, or the first one we ever danced to! ughh). That night, we went our separate ways. I returned to my friends happy, yet incredibly sad that nothing had developed that night. We got back to our dorms, and in typical crazy-teenage-girl fashion, decided it would be in my best interest to recruit one of our guy friends into hunting my "White Boy" down and getting his phone number. My amazing friend(still best friends to this day) Jarod, finally found him, and succeeded in getting his cell phone number. We talked on the phone that night until at least 3am. I was ecstatic, but very disappointed when I discovered that nothing had changed, and we still didnt talk outside of late-night-sleepover-chats on the phone. The only thing that had changed was the way all the guys in his hall would tease us if we were anywhere near each other(typical boys).The last dance, to my horror, I discovered that he was nowhere to be found. His friend eventually told me that he was in the movie(a crazy alternative, especially considering it was THE LAST DANCE!) Eventually, he emerged from the movie, and I was in heaven as we danced. His RA was watching us closely (I think my RA filled him in on the whole story, and he wanted to see where it would end up), and all of a sudden, he whispered, "What do you think my RA would do if I kissed you?" I about peed my pants with happiness, but managed to say "I don't know, lets find out" or something like that. We leaned in for a kiss, but he stopped at the last second and said "He's gone now". I was extremely disappointed, but tried to hide it. That night back in the dorm at our sleepover, I let my friends in on this little almost-kiss. What do you think they did?.. What any good friends would do.. waited until I went to the bathroom, called him, and ordered him to kiss me the next day(and the last day). I walked in on the last bit of this threat, but I never told him I knew about it until about 3 months after CTY.So the next day, after an almost all-nighter on the phone, I awoke in a panic, and ran to the dining hall. My panic increased when a friend of his told me he'd left already. I was relieved beyond belief when I spotted him across the "Gentle Slope" I got him to sign my yearbook, and shirt, and we spent our last, akward but precious, moments together. Then came the dreaded hour.. when his shuttle came. I said goodbye, gave him a hug, and turned away. My friend Chris saw me moping around, and(I've got to remember to thank her for this) demanded that I "go back and kiss that boy!" (oor something along those lines). I ran back to the shuttle pick up, gave him another hug, and told him I'd miss him a lot. He said he would miss me too, and gave me a peck on the lips that satisfied me for probably a month after the fact.The rest of that day, I moped around, waiting for my shuttle, missing him like crazy. As soon as I got off the plane, and into the car with my mom, I called him. He had been home for a while now, and we talked the entire hour trip to my house. When I got home, and we hung up, I was delighted to find out that he was online! I think we talked all evening, night, and into the early morning. I certainly don't remember what we talked about.. just that we talked, and I was the happiest I'd been to that day.We called each other, and talked online every day for a few weeks, and then it started to die down. We still talked, but not as frequently. Eventually, he admitted that he just wanted to be friends, and I was torn apart. He was the first boy I'd ever really loved that much, and now it was over. Now don't go thinking I simply forgot about him. Far from it actually. Ask any of my friends.. I was obsessed/heartbroken pretty much that entire year. I still carried the hope that he would change his mind and say he wanted to be more than friends. To my dismay, he did not, and slowly, I started getting over him (which brought great rejoicing from my friends). Because we were still great friends, we decided to go to the same site next year, and even though I was over him (or as much as I'd ever be), I was excited beyond belief to see him again.

Part 2 - CTY LAN 2006.01It was only a tiny bit akward that next year at CTY. We hung out a lot the first couple days, because I hadn't bonded with my hall yet. One of the first couple nights however, I told my wonderful roommate the story of me and this boy they saw me with so much(Joey). Turns out she thought he was cute. I told her that I was over him, and that she could go after him if she wanted(which I was convinced was true, but maybe it wasn't, who knows?). I even found another boy that I liked that year, and we started spending a lot of time together. That is where the trouble started. Turns out, Joey and my new boy (whose name I shall not mention) both thought that I was using NB(new boy) to make Joey jealous, which was absolutely ridiculous. So after some tears, and painful discussion, I cleared everything up, told Joey i wasn't trying to make him jealous, told NB that I liked him, and started my first official CTY-relationship. I'm not going to lie. I wasn't as happy as I expected I'd be. I spent so much time with NB that I couldn't spend time with all my other guy friends(the reason I came to Lancaster was to be with them in the first place!), and Joey was spending more and more time with my roommate, and hardly talked to me (by that time, half my hall had a crush on him.. fantastic, eh?). I was over Joey, but I guess I didn't want him to be over me, or maybe I just hated the fact that I waited all year long to see him, and time was rushing by with us hardly speaking. To put it simply, I was disappointed in the events of that year. Oh, and did I mention that after the first dance, Joey kissed me? Yeah, apparently it was a "friendship kiss".. which is ridiculous, because he, above all people, knows how long it took me to get over him!Things between Joey and my roommate never worked out, but then my other friend liked him as well. By the end of the session, they were pretty much together, and I was sick to my stomach, because she was just a horny slut (the horny part I knew, the slut part I found out after CTY, from a friend telling me something that happened at CTY..). I just felt like even though he didn't like me, I still wanted him to have someone good, and he could do way better than her. But what could I do? Nothing it turns out.So basically I came to CTY that year with high expectations, and left with a bit of disappointment. I also left with a bit of hope too, knowing I'd see him again in a week, because we had the same scholarship, and would be spending a week in Washington DC together for that.

Part 3 - JKC 2006Let me add that, the night we got home from CTY that year, we got in a huge fight (I'd never ever gotten mad at him in the year we'd known each other, and it was horrible), which ended in me going for a run at 4am crying my eyes out. We made up, and i actually think we were closer after that fight, so I guess it turned out ok.But anyways.. fast forward one week, to our week in Virginia/Washington DC. The moment I saw him, I attacked him with a huge hug, and from that moment on, we were practically inseperable. This did not help with first impressions on the girls, and even made one girl start out hating me (it's ok though, she was the best friend I had there by the end.. funny how things work out, isn't it?). I didn't care though, I was just happy I had Joey to myself for a week, and didn't hesitate to make the best of it. I didn't pay attention to any of the other guys, in fear that I'd get involved in another long-distance heartbreak, because they were from all over the US. We sat next to each other at seminars, meals, anytime we could. On bus trips, I'd rest my head on his shoulder, and he'd put his arm around me. It was those times that I was the happiest I ever thought possible. Nothing farther than that ever happened, but I was ok with that. I was finally ok with being "just friends". Even still, when we went our separate ways after that amazing week, I cried.After that week, I started talking to a boy I'd met there, but never talked to much, because of said time spent with Joey. It was only then that I really realized how much I'd isolated myself from the rest of the people... and at the time(after the week) I cared, but now I don't (things didn't work out between me and that guy, thats why.. but what else is new?!)So then Joey suggested that I go to his school, since I'd decided that I wanted to get out of my shithole of a town and go to boarding school..... and I was happy beyond belief. I still have to apply, and see if everything works out.. so there's definitely going to be more to the story..

So that's where I am... the happiest I've been in my entire life, over going to school with this boy I've been through so much with, and who CTY so graciously introduced me to.

Maybe I'll come back and tell you how it ends..

I was planning on not putting any names, but I forgot, then was too lazy to go back and change it, so "J***** B********" is "Joey".. but hey, you're CTYers, you could figure that out! =P