Monday, July 28, 2014

I have been thinking a lot lately about the way we say goodbye to things - and sometimes how we don't.

This is mostly triggered by my two professors for this mini-mester teaching their last semesters at Auburn and, of course, the summer coming to a close and life moving on in the upcoming fall.

The first professor was my lit professor. She taught lit passionately (as most lit teachers do) and truly loved the books she taught. The last class I could tell she was holding on - not wanting her last class ever to end. It was sweet and heartbreaking watching her let go of a huge piece of her life as we sort of shifted around in our seats all having somewhere else to be. Sometimes I say goodbye like this. I know I have to, but I don't want it to. An example being New York. Of course, we weren't on some flawless super glamourous trip - but on the last shift of the 15(ish) hour drive - I couldn't help but try to savor every show tune, every bite of junk food, and every laugh with Brady and Devin. In a way, I just wanted to remember and preserve that moment because I knew Brady and Devin would leave in just a few weeks. This to me is the worst kind of goodbye and also kind of the best. You are so aware of how much you love something when you have to say goodbye and you feel so full.

On the other hand, my public speaking professor - a graduate student teaching a core class - was less emotional about her departure to a new job. She was excited to graduate and, though she didn't complain about teaching and wasn't a bad teacher, didn't have a hard time sending us on our way as soon as she was done with what she had to say. This reaction of excitedly giving away something that came into your path SO accurately describes so many of my goodbyes as a lover of change. I can't help but be really excited about what's coming up, so I can't help but sort of giddily give away the situation I'm in currently. This is the best because who doesn't love to be excited? But this goodbye is horrible just because you lose a little piece of something you were a part of - and may find later that you wish you hung on and enjoyed it while you were there.

This summer (though not over!) is certainly getting the first kind of goodbye. What a great summer. Sure, there was some real crap that I could've done without and some difficult situations, but overall - an A+ summer. With saying goodbye to this summer, I'm also saying goodbye to Brady, Devin, several other friends who are going to do things other than this, the awesome weather, doable classes, simplicity, The Bachelorette (not that big of a deal?), and just summer nights and traveling. There's just something about summer.

The end of summer also means that I had to move out of Gameday. Above is a picture I took on the last night there and below is a picture of how I left it. The above picture was one my last nights and I just walked in a realized what a beautifully simple little summer life I had there - like a vacation. Somewhere that felt like home, yet somewhere I'd never lived. I miss it already, but look forward to - like my second professor - Copper Beech. The excitement is a little forced for now. It's not clean like Gameday or quite as cute and dainty or decorated - but I know that Jamie, Ashley, Sam, and I will have many laughs and memories there.

It's kind of exciting to think of the potential - even though it's scary to deal with the unfamiliar.

Especially when the unfamiliar looks like this...

Yes, this is my new room. It kept occurring to me (usually in the form of a regret) that I could've just stayed at Gameday. But I'm just not a person who finds too much comfort in the comfortable. I love adventure and change. So that is what I intend to look at this as and approach this as.

I do find comfort in something - I'll say goodbye to it eventually as well. Whether that goodbye is the first or second kind will unveil itself this year, I suppose!

"Take into account that it's all about to change" from "Who Knows Who Cares" by Local Natives has always been one of my favorite lines - change though unpredictable is completely reliable. So why not love that something new and exciting is inevitably going to happen, and why not accept it!