Now that we know that Michael Bay is taking the "mutant" out of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, what other unpleasant surprises does he have in store for our reptilian martial artists? One storyboard artist has applied his predictive powers to imagine an alien turtles movie packed with faux hip-hop slang and, of course, explosions.

Storyboard artist Sam Saxton has some awful (and awfully funny) ideas for how Bay's Ninja Turtles might go. (Incidentally, that's the movie's current working title; no "teenage," no "mutant." Just Ninja Turtles.) I'd say that it reaches its apex when the turtles describe their rich alien backstory, but not nearly enough stuff has blown up by then.