Shakira & Antonio de la Rua, You Broke Up (It's Over)

Singer Shakira and her boyfriend Antonio de la Rua of almost 11 years have split up -- well, they don't actually know it yet, but they have.

In Shakira and Antonio's opinion, they're actually on a break, getting to know themselves, taking time apart -- or as Shakira herself puts it, she and Antonio are in "a period of separation" and taking "time apart from our romantic relationship." Huh?

In other words, one or both of these two are too chicken to use the "b" word. As in breakup.Shall we let them in on the truth?

Yeah, we better tell them ...

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Shakira and Antonio, we want to let you in on something you're obviously very much in denial about -- uh and you might want to sit down -- come, sit. Well, we hate to be the ones to break it to you, but ... you two have broken up. We know it's painful and hard to say or hear, but putting big words and paragraphs around it doesn't make it any less true.

Call it what you like, but make no mistake about it, it is over between you.

On Shakira's website today, she posted the following long-winded, denial-filled explanation:

Dear Friends,

During our almost 11 years together we have loved each other deeply, taken care of each other and stood by one another. They have been the most wonderful years of our lives, and thanks to that love and the respect that we share for one another we have been an exceptional couple and partners.

However, since August 2010, we made a mutual decision to take time apart from our romantic relationship. Throughout this time we have continued to work together hand in hand, have remained close and have kept the details absolutely private until now.

We view this period of separation as temporary and as a time of individual growth as we continue to be partners in our business and professional lives.

Antonio continues to oversee and conduct my business and career interests as he has always done. We move forward as partners, developing projects together, working hand in hand and in close communication. Our friendship and understanding of one another is unwavering and indestructible.

We would like to advise that we will not be giving interviews or making more statements with respect to this matter and we appreciate in advance your understanding and respect during this sensitive time in our lives.

Shakira and Antonio

Wow, and she could have saved her fingers a lot of keyboard gymnastics and her thesaurus a lot of wear and tear by just having her press people email People or Us magazine with something more like this:

﻿Dear World,

We broke up.

Shakira and Antonio

Of course, we know everyone has their own emotional process .... We wish you two the best of luck on your separate (as in, not together) journeys.