In a past post in this blog I discussed one particular way of dealing with writer's block. This is: if you have writer's block, then write about having writer's block! I discussed two ways to do this. The first is to merely write about having it. The second involves not just writing about it but antagonizing the beast, bringing it out into the open and wrestling with it analyzing it and defining it.

However, there is a third way, embrace the beast! Yes, seek the creature were it hides in the dark recesses of your imagination and when you find it, walk willingly into its arms (give in to the dark side Luke!). Consort with it, let it inseminate you with its wicked seed, and then gestate and deliver into this world its twisted offspring!

(Insert maniacal laughter here)

OK, what the heck am I talking about?

If you want to understand please first read this very short story that I posted on Scribd: She's Back! (if you already read it keep on reading).

The premise of the story is simple. To what extremes would a writer go to get rid of a bad case of writer's block? Especially a writer who has figured out the inner workings of his muse and the terrible thing he has to do to keep her coming back to him.

You see my point? Take your weakness, that anxiety, that depression, that barrenness that you are experiencing, and turn them into your strength. Writer's block can inspire stories, they may not be pretty, but they will get you out of your creative funk.

Now, if you allow me, I can't resist going over what the writer in the story discovered about muses. I will call it:

Museology 101

1) A muse is not an abstraction, a muse is a shape-shifting trans-dimensional being that feeds on our desire to create. It provides us with ideas, we take the ideas and break them down and reorganize them into stories and the muse feeds on the energy generated by the whole process.

2) Much in the same way that you won't eat eggs and bacon every day, a muse will not stay forever with one writer, it needs a balanced diet.

3) When you muse deserts you, it doesn't disappear, it goes off with another writer and gives that writer the ideas it would have provided to you. Therefore that writer will write or will finish writing the stories you would have written if the muse had stayed with you. Your muse will eventually return to you, just like you decide to eat eggs and bacon after not eating them for a while, but when this will happen is anyone's guess.

4) Now here is the crucial fact. If something were to happen to that "other" writer, say for example an "accident" like being hit on the head with a blunt object and buried in a basement, the muse will automatically return to the previous writer.

So you see dear reader, this is the type of inspiration and ideas you get when you embrace your "inner beast". Thank you for your attention, I hope both that you find the inspiration to write some great stories, and that you have gained some understanding of the plight of your fellow writers out there suffering writer's block. Remember also to be kind enough to accept an invitation to their house for dinner.

I posted a document on Scribd (Writer's Block)containing quotes by writers on writing and writer's block. At the end I wrote that, although, there are many ways to deal with writer's block, there is one particular way that is very seldom mentioned. This is probably because it is so obvious that it hardly seems worth mentioning. It is the following:

When not being able to think of what to write, then write about not being able to think of what to write!

That's right, I'm not kidding you! If you have writer's block, write about having writer's block. One of the poets from Scribd, Vedika, did just that in this fine little poem.

3AM Anthem

Labour intensive,Cool comprehensive,Jaded and raided and faded away.Face like a washcloth,Bitten through by angry moths,Tired, refired, like unhardened clay.Words from my fingers,Silently linger,Writer’s block, screw this, too much hell to pay.

She wrote in the description of the poem: "I loathe insomnia, and writer's block. This was written, surprisingly, at 3am".

The above and other similar examples involve stating you have writer's block and describing it. But there is something else you can do. Consider the following piece written by Kenosis23 from Scribd. Thoughts-on-Writer-s-Block

As a preamble to this piece Kenosis wrote: "I decided that after finding myself incapable of writing it was time to explore the beast itself..."

That's right (or should I say "write"?), don't suffer the beast, tackle it, grab it by the horns and bring it out into the light for everyone to see! Analyze it. Conceptualize it. Demonize it. Metaphorize it. And while you are at it, cut its horns, slash its tentacles, file its teeth and claws, and kick its sorry wart-ridden ass around for a good measure of fun!

There is one last thing you can do in this vein about writer's block but we will talk about it in the next post. Until then see you later and thanks for your attention.

Everyone talks about the five stages of grief but I decided to come up with the five stages of writer's grief over losing one's muse (writer's block). Here they are.

Denial

No, this is not happening to me. I have to calm down. My muse has not left me. She is just taking a brief break. I know she will be back soon, I can feel it. I will be writing again in no time at all.

Anger

I can't believe it, she left me! How can she do this to me! How can she feel she can walk away from me anytime she pleases! This is not right, no sir, you don't do this to a writer, especially to one as devoted as I am. You have to come back. You have to come back right now! Do you hear me? That is not a request, that's an order! You are mine and you will do as I say, COME BACK RIGHT NOW........oh how I hate her.

Bargaining

Just one more story please, oh please, I will do anything you say, I will give you anything you want. I will be your slave, you can own my life, but please come back and inspire me just one more time...pleeeaaseeeee....

Depression

I am so sad, I feel so miserable. She will never be back to inspire me again, I am an empty vessel. I am barren. A monkey typing away at a keyboard would probably come up with stories orders of magnitude better than I can think for myself now. I will just crawl into some dark writer's hole and die.

Acceptance

This is the way it is, why fight it? She is never coming back. My destiny is to fade into the obscurity of the mundane and unoriginal. But you know what? I can take it, I know my place. I will join the pack and disappear into the crowd. Hello writer's oblivion, bring it on!

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Of course if your muse happens to be of the opposite sex or even a thing, just make the necessary changes to the pronouns in the text above so it will apply to you.

There are many ways to deal with writer's block. You can find them in the web just by searching for "writer's block" or "dealing with writer's block". However, there is one way to deal with writer's block which many artists employ, but that is seldom mentioned. This is probably because it is so obvious that it hardly seems worth mentioning. I will discuss it in my next blog post.

Hello everyone, welcome to my blog where I will publicly predicate, prevaricate, ponder, pontificate, predict, promote, prove, and probe. And just to be contrarian let's kick-start this blog by writing about not writing, about being "un-mused" or "de-mused", in other words, writer's block. Post on this topic will be coming soon so keep an eye out for them.