Sitting across from Ralph I feel a vibe that I can’t
describe. I only sense it.

“Mom, it will all come together,” he says.
These are the perfect words for me to hear as I struggle with uncertainty about what the heck I’m doing with my life.

Ralph and I share bits and pieces of conversation
about his career and opportunities in New York as relatives are vying for time with him. He only had three days to visit. He came to attend his cousin’s wedding. [It was a really good time. See photo below.]

My son. In front of me is young man that I pray for nightly.
I pray that he will grow up to use all his talents, be respectful, down to earth . . . all the things that you hope your child becomes. What I sense is that he has all those good qualities and much more.

We have a couple of hours till the wedding so I ask him about his job.

“I like my two bosses. And you asked me two months ago when I started how I would rate it.”

“And what is it from 1-10?” I inquire again. “And don’t tell me what I want to hear just because I’m your mother.”

“It is a 7.5. On a good day an 8.” He smiles.

“Your position is different from what you originally told me you desired to do. I’m confused. I thought you wanted to represent talented artists?”

“That plus produce one day . . . right now I’m marketing Indie films. One day it will all make sense.”

“So . . . what do I tell friends who want to know why you are living in New York?”

“You tell them to keep their eyes open for my name in five years.”

AWW . . . Oh . . . he’s gooood. I’ll use that too when people ask me what the heck I’m doing with my life.

Now I know how to describe the vibe I am getting from my son . . . it is his quiet confidence. I love that about him. I think it’s sexy.
Now, mind you, I know it sounds weird using the word “sexy” as I talk about my son, but you know what I mean.

Having a quiet confidence, whether you are a man or woman, is sexy. There is nothing so annoying as someone constantly boasting about his/her life changing accomplishments.

This I know . . . keep moving forward. Don’t stop.
Don’t let uncertainty and doubts get you down.
Ask God to show you the way. The path will appear.
Trust that it will all come together and make sense.

I made many wrong turns along the way in my life by simply of not checking in first with what God’s plans are for my life. I learned that when go around thinking that I can do it all myself, my plans turn out to be disastrous. And, I tell yah, life is such a B$#@&*! when I try to be in control.

Dear God,
Seems to me you are taking good care of my son living in the Big Apple.
Please continue to teach him the way, light his path, and always find favor in him.

Last week Ol’ Wise One and I were talking in the kitchen.
“So, now you want to start a career at 63 . . . ,” he says dismissively.
( I had just mentioned to him that I wanted to work part time. )

Oohhh! Hold up now.
I can ‘t believe that came out of his mouth.
I want a part-time job . . . I didn’t say I wanted to become a doctor
or lawyer or join the Peace Corps and travel to Africa.

Someone else can do that.

And how dare he age me nine years!
I was ready to throw my favorite coffee cup at him, but I refrained
from doing so.
Instead, I took a breath. Then, these words flashed in my mind,
“You are not in control. God is. And I think God can still use me.
I’m not dead yet.”

After calming down, I decided to forgive him. It wasn’t easy.
For me forgiveness takes awhile, but eventually I get there.

Naysayers say the most ridiculous things, don’t they?

Here are some examples:
1. You can’t move to Manhattan, you’ll never make it as an artist.
Stay here with your mother and me. There’s nothing wrong living in
the town you grew up in.

2. You’re going to marry her? It will never last.

3. You applied to the Juilliard School? To do what, ACT?
But, you are not beautiful/ tall/thin/talented enough. You don’t have
the right look!

4. You want to be a artist? They make no money! How about welding?
Or the cement business? Now, that’s where the money is.

Since turning 50-something, I learned that naysayers are a group of
people who are in fear of what MIGHT happen. They are afraid.

If they felt secure enough to completely love and support us,
we could take them along for the joyride of a lifetime.

When you have a naysayer in your life, you can cope by putting their
comments to the side. Forgive them, but take heart in knowing that
they do not know YOU. For that reason, they do not know what the
heck they are talking about.

Do what you have to do to reach your heart’s desire. Wake up each day
and show up in life. Make the most of each day. Give it your best shot.
As long as you are still breathing, God can use you.

If joining the Peace Corps is in your heart, then plant your feet firmly
on the ground and start walking in that direction. Want to be a chef?
Go to culinary school. You want to write that book, then commit and
wake up two hours early
and turn your lap top on.

Dear God,
Why do we have naysayers in this life? Why?
I don’t get it.

I believe that when you put desires and goals in our hearts,
there is a reason. You want us to go out there in the world and use
what you gave us.

I know you are still in control of my life. I will continue
to seek your will until you say otherwise.

Today, if you want to do something big and rewarding for yourselfand for the universe–get started.

MELVIN PHAN came to the United States from Vietnam
25 years ago.
Melvin worked in his chosen field of engineering.
With his love of learning and a desire for more for
himself and family he wanted to go as far as
he could with his education.

He set his sights on getting his PhD in Management and Organizational Leadership. With support from his wife, son,
and mentor he now has a PhD by his name.

He said in his speech“When you know your purpose and have the desire topursue it–YOUR ARE UNSTOPPABLE.”

A candidate that I know oh too well that is
unstoppable is my cousin Jerrie.

She is the eldest of three children.
We have similar traits.
* We are first-born children.
*We are both ambitious.
*We love our families.
*We like to tell others what to do.

Jerrie has been a nurse for dozens of years. When
I sense a pain in my body, I will email her wondering
what it is. She will email me back a ten page outline explaining “This is what ‘s wrong with you . . . .”

She has a full life. She and her husband, Tyler,
are raising two boys. She works fulltime. She cares for
her elderly mom and our aunts. NO kidding.

Two years ago during our lunch date
she mentioned to me she wanted to get her
Masters degree in nursing. “Go for it!” I said sipping my wine.
“Oh and I’m going for my Masters in Health Administration, too.”

“Oh pleaseee Jerr . . . don’t stop at one.”

As I drove home that day, my mind could not
wrap around the idea of how she would pull it off.

Geez, I’m an empty nester and my Masters degree each day is to master getting out of bed. Studying for two Masters degrees sounds
insane to me, but leave it to Jerrie to get the job done.

Today was her day to shine as she walked up the stage to get
her two Masters degree. When her name was called
her family of 20 were loud and proud.

During her graduation party I talked to her mom, Sue.
“I told Jerrie to get her PhD,” she said.
“Oh, I told her that a month ago to get started on it.
“You encourage your cousin.”
“Oh, you bet,” I said.
I do know this–one of our many purposes
in life is to inspire, motivate, and support each other.

Do you work with a single full-time mom
that is going to college? Give her a word of
encouragement. Support her all the way to the finish line.

Do you have a family member
who is looking for work or struggling to make it
happen. Tell them to pray to God and not give up.

Do you know someone who is going through a nasty divorce?
Tell them to learn from it and move on . . . . cheer them on and tell them they will get through it and that you are there when they need to talk.

Let’s pray.

Dear God,
You know very well all our hopes and dreams.
And if we believe . . . our time to shine will come at just the perfect moment.

LOLA: Indeed, 2014 is almost over. Next week my husband and I will be ringing in the New Year, very low key. Our tired bodies are in bed by nine and asleep by ten.

I will set my alarm for 12 so I can greet the new year and do what my mother told me to do.

Open my front door and let out the negative energy. Then, close it and open it again to let the positive energy come in. And do this with change in my pocket for prosperity and good fortune.

I think I will I have more than change, I’ll go for having 100s.

JOHN (smiles): Let’s hope its a good one without any fear.

LOLA: Oh, definitely, I HOPE so, too. It’ll be a relief when this Sony hacking situation is put to rest.

I hope certain reality shows will be cancelled like that one with the family with all the daughters’ names that start with K.
And I would like to see shows like Breaking Bad and Broadwalk Empire go away.They are too stressful and negative for my tastes.

I hope we all put our guns away.
It makes me afraid to think that a gun might get into the hands of a child or someone with mental illness.

I feel this fear everyday. It’s a great big fury rug on my shoulders that I have to shake off.

I say to myself: Fear or Faith? Pick one.

That is how my conversation would flow if I were having coffee with
John Lennon and talking about the new year.

Tell me. If John Lennon asked you What have you done?
What would you say?

Let’s pray.

Dear God,
A new year is around the corner. I’m getting panicky. Have I done all that you have asked me to do during this year? Have I been a good servant?

I desire to follow your will. May you continue to hold my hand and guide me to paths you have already prepared for me.

Bless each one of us with good health and good fortune. And may you give us courage to live our lives each day without fear.

Thank you.

Amen.

Lola

P.S. When I’m in my office with a candle burning and having a quiet time with God with all my uncertainties and thoughts about feeling unworthy put aside, I look over my list of things I did this year and I’m confident that I did great.

I didn’t land an interview with Barbara Walters. I wasn’t one of her 10 most fascinating people in 2014, but does anybody care?

God knows I show up and do the best I can. He loves me and sees the best in me.

And I believe when we serve the God of the universe with our hard work, he blesses us tenfold.