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Thursday, October 15, 2009

I have a confession. I am raising a fashion plate. I am not sure how it happened, I am a feminist. I mean, sure I shave my armpits, and tend the garden, and I looove sexy heels, there's that. But there is more to life than clothes. I fought this, tried to get her interested in other things. But, alas.

JBean is eight now. She has finally mastered the task of getting dressed on her own, and she has very obvious preferences about her clothes. It is a given she will grouse (read: throw a fit or just whine a lot) even if she chose it herself the night before. I have learned to pad the schedule and take valiumdrink be patient with her foibles. It is a given she will protest whatever she is first wearing the way that Christian from Project Runway will use "fierce" in at least one sentence of an interview.

She doesn't dress like girls her age (thank God for that…have you seen some of the clothes in the stores?) Many of them look styled for harlots-in-training. Once my oldest daughter asked who buys the clothes they sell in stores and I told her, "Blind people who hate you and Christian, from Project Runway." (and I win, that's two references to Christian in one post. Wonder what the prize for that is? And no, he is not a blog sponsor at all).

JBean's favorite outfits these days are little plaid skirts and matching tops in various colors, and she still loves her beloved Hannas, though it is time to replenish. She is very particular about what she will wear. It all has to match, along with accessories: a jeweled headband, pink and purple shell bracelet, rock star sunglasses. She cracks me up. Maybe she is an aspiring model. (did I mention her favorite food is salad? Can't be too many years before the cigarettes and booze show up, right?) Would you believe she was thinking she was fat? Where would she even get that idea?? Hmm, I wonder...

I hate the pressures on little girls these days. They are bombarded with crap marketing constantly, telling them who they are. Teaching them values that just might stay with them forever. It is important to be comfortable with who you are, and at 8, you are just learning who that is. She has a lot of growing to do, and who knows who she will be. In the meantime, I am making sure she learns to eat, feels good about herself and knows she is loved for who she is, not what she does or how she looks.

I asked her recently why she is so certain in how she dresses. Do other little girls dress like she does? She said, "No, it's just cute." Well, I wanted to know, did you learn it from the Disney Channel? She laughed at me, "No, mama. It's just cute." Well, what makes it cute? "I do, mama. I make it cute. I dress the way I want to, for me."

4
sent chocolate:

Rebecca was the same with her clothing and music and well just about everything. She always went with what made her happy and didn't worry that she wasn't dressed like Brittney Spears and singing the latest songs. I think it is a good thing even though sometimes it caused me to panic finding dresses she would wear.

I feel the same way about IP. She's a fashionista in the worst sense (telling *me* when I don't match!) - but she's also super-modest, won't wear dresses that don't cover her knees.

I don't know where girls this age get the idea that they are fat. I keep trying to pound into her head that she is strong and fit and NOT fat. She's built like her dad instead of me ... but this is your post.

Hrm, two references to Christian (I don't watch Project Runway) but I think some chocolate is in order.