January: The One with “Kid”

And when there’s no one left to lie to
Forced to face the truth about me and you and see it from all sides
All the sides that you have battered and now burned

So baby could you do me a favor? Fall off of the Earth and I’ll see you later
Just give me a call and tell me you miss me – A call I won’t return
So now which one is the owner of the friends we made together?
And how do we divide a city and the bars where we drank forever?

Don’t take this for granted, you’ll leave here empty handed
My image of you shattered, winning is all that matters
Won’t let you gut our happy home

Give me my Zeppelin CDs, you know you took ‘em, I know you did
Where’s my Pretenders record, you know the one, the one with “Kid”
Where’s all my AC/DCs, my Interpol, my Libertines
Where’s all my Kyuss records, you never liked ‘em until you met me

Sensations, frustrations, barbed wire for coronations
My “Heart of Glass” 12-inch is scratched
No matter what it’s costing, make sure you leave with nothing
Won’t stand and watch you gut our home

You gut our home
My heart of glass is scratched

Don’t take this for granted, you’ll leave here empty handed
So hateful, so shameless, won’t let you leave here blameless
You know I can’t take it, won’t laugh and smile and fake it
Your image of me shattered, winning is all that matters
Oh God I can’t stand it, you’ll leave here empty handed
Can’t stand and watch you gut our home

You gut our home

February: Michelle (Again)

Everybody knows, or everybody likes to think they know
Everything about Michelle
No one ever asks, ‘cause no one really thinks they have to ask
Tell you all about Michelle

You know that Heather has it all
But Rita’s got a little more than all
No one’s got it like Michelle

Like Michelle

Everybody’s sad, or everybody’s only actin’ sad
When they hear about Michelle
Everybody knows, everybody likes to think they know
Everything about Michelle

You know that Heather has it all
But Rita’s got a little more than all
No one’s got it like Michelle

She got what I don’t want
What I don’t want is always what I’ve got
Stuck with girls like Michelle

I’ll fall in love again
I fell in love before, I’ll do it again
With someone not like Michelle

Like Michelle

March: BMW Man

So you’re the boyfriend, and nice to meet you, is it Dustin?
And did you say you vote Republican
Can I get you another Sloe Gin Fizz?

Makin’ no mistakes, no one’s gonna fall for you
Ain’t got what it takes, find another avenue
Throw us all a break, she can’t really care for you
Just another fake, who drives a BMW

All this is crazy, I can’t believe that you replaced me
You and your goons from your fraternity, at the bar glued to ESPN

Makin’ no mistakes, no one’s gonna fall for you
Ain’t got what it takes, find another avenue
Throw us all a break, she can’t be in love with you
Just another fake, who drives a BMW (Man!)

A BMW man

April: White Belt Boys

Yeah… hope you have a lonely life
Yeah… hope you have a lonely life
A high heel stumble home from the gala with your gurney bag clutched to your chest
Hangin’ on the arm of the guy who sewed you into your new dress
Oooh… It’s a tragedy, so completely, it’s almost Greek
And if I was to be hard-pressed, I’d lie and say I could not care less

Yeah… hope you have a lonely life
Yeah… hope you have a lonely life, a lonely life
One red carpet bleeds into another, you’re stained and it won’t rub off
Lining up to get under your covers
The boys with white belts, snouts for the trough
Oooh… It’s a tragedy, so completely, I’m barely me
And if I was to be hard-pressed, I’d lie and say I am not obsessed

Yeah… hope you have a lonely life, a lonely life.

Sha!

May: The Summer of Boats

And you’re allowed to change, you have permission to try
You’re movin’ off to Salt Lake and no one will ask why
Movin’ off in June, not a day too soon
It all seems so perfectly strange
Break it all in two and you’ll be orphaned too
It’s all just so perfectly strange

And I’m allowed to break when my shit’s wrapped too tight
And though it all seems strange, this compulsion to die
Shovin’ off from shore, can’t take any more
It all seems so perfectly lame
Liftin’ up on four, breakin’ down the doors
It’s all just so perfectly lame

Life was perfectly sad, it’s perfectly sadder now

And I’m allowed to break, a simple catch in the throat
Was it all that great back in the summer of boats?

You’re allowed to change you don’t need permission to try
You’re movin’ off to Salt Lake and no one will ask why
Break it all in two, do what you have to do
It all seems so perfectly plain
I’ll make a shrine for you and you can burn that, too
It’s all just so perfectly, perfectly

Life was perfectly sad, it’s perfectly sadder now

June: Taxi-Cabs

Taxi-cabs, the sharks of streets, with fins of fire they troll for fares
The blond haired girls that roam in herds and fix you in their golden glares

Hanging out with a new batch and starting out again from scratch
You disconnect from your own crew and keeping up is hard to do
Sell your past for a few grand with paper signed in a false hand

The dark haired girls attack in threes, they cut your plays off at the knees
They meet you out in bars of foam and drag you further from your home
You’re out alone, out of your depth, and Satan laughed and Jesus wept

Hey, yeah ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? taxi-cabs
Oh, whoa, whoa, you caught me in the aftermath
Yeah, yeah there is no outline to graph
It’s been segued and cut in half

With fins on fire

July: 24 Hour Break-Up Session

A 24 hour break-up session, comin’ on strong like an intervention
Back and forth and crazy and we ain’t done yet, does me no good ’cause I’m sick of sex
Back and forth and crazy and it’s never enough, ‘cause it’s 24 hours of breaking up

Yeah! You knew we’d never make it anyway
We’d of never made it anyway, ‘cause it’s a 24 hour break-up session

A 24 hour break-up session, the latest in a line of old obsessions
Back and forth and crazy I’m so over you now, does me no good ’cause you won’t tap out
Back and forth and crazy and it’s more than enough, it’s 24 hours of breaking up

Yeah, you knew we’d never make it anyway
We would of never made it anyway, ‘cause it’s a 24 hour break-up session

24 hour break-up session

August: Jesus Christ! Did You See the Size of That Sperm Whale

Hey, you kind of are successful
You’re totally approachable
You’re waking up your world view
I feel like I don’t know you

You’re looking fine in your skin
I’m thinking that I hate you

Uunh, your dreams are coming true now
Persistence has paid off
You’re well poised and you’re healthy
You’re dressing like you’re wealthy

You’re looking fine in your skin
I’m thinking he can have you

Not a junkie, you’re just a groupie
But only a groupie would ever wanna love me

You’re looking fine in your skin
And to think I used to fuck you

September: Simple Pleas

There’s no one left to lie and no one knows what you’re talking about
The vultures are in sight and all the jackals, they’re checkin’ you out
I thought I was in love but you cured me of that notion fast
You’re beyond and you’re above, some illusions never seem to last

Baby just don’t lie to me
You know I thrive on jealousies
I’ll boil it down to simple pleas
Baby, just don’t lie to me

No one knows what you’re talkin’ about
Miscast in the role, in the role that I was born to play
This loser act I know, is only gettin’ sadder each day
I guess you were too new, I needed someone who was damaged like me
I think I thought you’d do

Baby, just don’t lie to me
You know I thrive on jealousies
I’ll boil it down to simple pleas
Baby, just don’t lie to me

Don’t lie to me… let go

I can’t let go, I can’t let go
I know you want one thing, I know you wanna get away
But I can’t let go, I can’t let go
I know you wanna clean break, I know you wanna get away
I always said you were too good
I always said you were too good
I always said you were too good and now you believe
I think I always knew that you were gonna leave

And I can’t let go, I can’t let go
I know you wanna get away, I know you want one thing
I can’t let go, I can’t let go
I know you wanna clean break but I just can’t let go

October: Machine Shed Wrestling

You ain’t a lover, you’ll never change
I’d rather wrestle my machine
You ain’t a lover, you’ll never change
I’d rather wrestle my machine
A token e-mail, a drunken text
A sorry go-round of cell-phone sex
You ain’t a lover, you’re just a fake
Had all the bullshit I’m gonna take

Wrestle my machine
My machine

As a product you would be great
And all the income you’d generate
But as a lover you’re just a bust
You’re not a service I can trust

I’ll wrestle my machine
My machine

All I am is a husk of a man, I cannot go through this again
You’re not a woman, and you know I’ve pretended all I can

All I can

You ain’t a lover, you’ll never change
I’d rather wrestle with my machine
You ain’t a lover, you’re just a fake
Had all the bullshit I’m gonna take

Wrestle my machine

All I am is a husk of a man, I cannot go through this again
You’re not a woman, and you know I’ve pretended all I can
All I am is a victim of love, I checked the box marked none of the above
You’re not a woman, girl, and you know I’ve pretended all I can

All I can… my machine

November: Blur

You know this year was a blur
I think I know you but I’m not sure
If I don’t know I don’t care
I only took you home on a dare

It’s only livin’ now, it’s all I’m givin’
We’re only livin’ now, the quarter to seven hits me with the bright light
We’re only livin’ now, it’s all I’m givin’

You know this year was the worst
I only thought it was fun at first
And I don’t care if I’m wrong
You know this bender’s been all year long

Things are starting to blur, I almost called her your name
Things are starting to blur, I almost made a mistake
Things are starting to blur, I ought to shut myself up
Things are starting to blur, I almost fucked myself up

Hey, it’s only livin’ now, it’s all we’re given
We’re only livin’ now, it’s all we’re given
We’re only livin’ now, it’s all we’re given
It’s only livin’ now, the quarter to seven hits me with the bright light

We’re only livin’ now

December: Hand To Mouth

In ‘bout a million hours from now we’re gonna find what life’s about
We’re gonna wrap our heads around what no one could figure out
To find just one unbroken stare, a space in time to share
We’re gonna stop these lies of ours in ‘bout a hundred million hours

And it may take two million years to lift a single stone
We’ll have to face a billion fears just to find we’re all alone
To find just one unbroken stare, just a single one who cares
Is that all it’s about, these little lives of ours?