Comments - Coming Out At Work - RecruitingBlogs2016-12-10T01:09:09Zhttp://www.recruitingblogs.com/profiles/comment/feed?attachedTo=502551%3ABlogPost%3A1813226&xn_auth=noThanks for sharing your persp…tag:www.recruitingblogs.com,2014-07-12:502551:Comment:18148192014-07-12T23:13:21.259ZSylvia Dahlbyhttp://www.recruitingblogs.com/profile/SylviaDahlby
<p>Thanks for sharing your perspective on this important &amp; timely topic, and I look fwd to reading more about your experience. <span>I'm a strong advocate of diversity in the workplace and support equal rights for people regardless of sexual orientation - including the right to marry &amp; adopt children. In an age where we're demanding authenticity &amp; transparency, I don't think anyone should feel ashamed of who they are.</span></p>
<p><span>Yet I have to confess the whole idea of…</span></p>
<p>Thanks for sharing your perspective on this important &amp; timely topic, and I look fwd to reading more about your experience. <span>I'm a strong advocate of diversity in the workplace and support equal rights for people regardless of sexual orientation - including the right to marry &amp; adopt children. In an age where we're demanding authenticity &amp; transparency, I don't think anyone should feel ashamed of who they are.</span></p>
<p><span>Yet I have to confess the whole idea of "coming out" at work seems unnecessary. People don't "come out" as straight, or celibate, or as virgins, or as swingers for that matter. Perhaps the military's "don't ask, don't tell policy" is a good one for business in general. Sexual orientation is more like religion than race, which is obvious, and we don't go typically announce our religion during a job interview or day one when we start a new position. Yes there may be hints, like wearing a Jewish star or crucifix necklace. But I don't appreciate people waving their religious beliefs around the office - even while I uphold freedom of speech &amp; religion. There's a time &amp; place for political statements, and that's not during business hours.</span></p>
<p><span>Our private lives are private; just be yourself. I'm not suggesting hiding out in the closet - I just don't get the need to wave sexual preferences in everyone's face. Perhaps GLBT people might get more respect by just focusing on the work at hand so those not so accepting will feel more comfortable &amp; maybe more inclined to tolerance when the truth reveals itself. Your friends &amp; co-workers will learn whatever they need to know in due course as they get to know each other - otherwise as Billie Holiday would say "ain't nobody's business."</span></p> I think it is hard to say it…tag:www.recruitingblogs.com,2014-07-08:502551:Comment:18140032014-07-08T15:50:53.525ZAmberhttp://www.recruitingblogs.com/profile/Amber689
<p>I think it is hard to say it should or should not be "discussed". Most people in what are considered the "mainstream" relationships don't have to really ever think about it, and probably don't hesitate to make comments like "my wife and I ate there last weekend", etc. with nary a thought. However, I think those in "alternate lifestyle" relationships DO hesitate or do NOT make comments like that. </p>
<p>I think it is hard to say it should or should not be "discussed". Most people in what are considered the "mainstream" relationships don't have to really ever think about it, and probably don't hesitate to make comments like "my wife and I ate there last weekend", etc. with nary a thought. However, I think those in "alternate lifestyle" relationships DO hesitate or do NOT make comments like that. </p> I don't think Unicorns are up…tag:www.recruitingblogs.com,2014-07-08:502551:Comment:18137872014-07-08T14:09:54.347ZTyson J. Springhttp://www.recruitingblogs.com/profile/TysonJSpring204
<p>I don't think Unicorns are up for grabs. I mean, you can have them on your team, but I'm not really to concede all unicorns just yet. Nothing against your team, I just like unicorns and don't want to live life without them.</p>
<p>Unicorns aside, I see where you're coming from. I mean, you're the one dealing with it so who am I to say that it's a non-issue?</p>
<p>Re: #4, if sex is taboo, than wouldn't it be irrelevant whether it's gay sex or heterosexual-sex? Sex is not to be discussed…</p>
<p>I don't think Unicorns are up for grabs. I mean, you can have them on your team, but I'm not really to concede all unicorns just yet. Nothing against your team, I just like unicorns and don't want to live life without them.</p>
<p>Unicorns aside, I see where you're coming from. I mean, you're the one dealing with it so who am I to say that it's a non-issue?</p>
<p>Re: #4, if sex is taboo, than wouldn't it be irrelevant whether it's gay sex or heterosexual-sex? Sex is not to be discussed among HR folks. Period. That probably goes for Gay Sex, Straight Sex, upside down sex, sex on the discovery channel, sex is not to be discussed among - or in the vicinity of- HR. </p>
<p>From an entirely different angle, call it an analogy: If baseball is not to be discussed in a football locker room, coaches rule and you could get benched from the upcoming game by talking about baseball because to the football coach- baseball is taboo, wouldn't you also assume that the act of pitching, as it pertains to baseball, is off limits to talk about? Pitching is not more taboo than baseball as a whole, it's just part of baseball that can't be talked about in this fictitious locker room. </p>
<p>What I'm saying is, is it possible that you've decided that everyone who's in HR and not gay finds Gay Sex taboo and you're projecting on people, when all they're doing is policing their sexual harassment policy? This is not entirely uncommon for anyone who has concerns about being accepted for one reason or another. Just throwing it out there. </p>
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<p></p> Hi Tyson - Happy 4th to you t…tag:www.recruitingblogs.com,2014-07-04:502551:Comment:18133882014-07-04T19:16:18.166ZKatrina Kibbenhttp://www.recruitingblogs.com/profile/KatrinaKibben
<p>Hi Tyson - Happy 4th to you too.</p>
<p>1) I mean, I'd like to claim them for my team.</p>
<p>2) I think it's a 50/50 thing. I think I go into a job with some assumptions - 1 being I don't know how people feel about gay people. I also think most workplaces hire with an assumption - that someone is straight. I'm not saying everywhere, but it's real. When those two mix, I feel like I personally go into assuming I'll need to come out. I work for an amazing company (the one who owns this site…</p>
<p>Hi Tyson - Happy 4th to you too.</p>
<p>1) I mean, I'd like to claim them for my team.</p>
<p>2) I think it's a 50/50 thing. I think I go into a job with some assumptions - 1 being I don't know how people feel about gay people. I also think most workplaces hire with an assumption - that someone is straight. I'm not saying everywhere, but it's real. When those two mix, I feel like I personally go into assuming I'll need to come out. I work for an amazing company (the one who owns this site and whose owners are some of the awesome guys who commented above) but I live in Nashville, TN. And let me tell you, Tennessee can get a little weird. When I was looking for a job in April, I was definitely prepared to have to come out. It's a great town but... still in Tennessee.</p>
<p>3) I hear you - sex is definitely taboo. But gay sex is more taboo. </p>
<p>4) Truth. If someone finds themselves at a company where they don't feel equal or supported, they absolutely should bounce. That'd be my advice. There are a lot of people who are out and lead at great companies where they're 100% supported. I'd suggest that there are some percentage of closeted ones too, unfortunately. </p>
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<p>Appreciate the comment and hope you'll be back for more. </p> Have a bit more time on my ha…tag:www.recruitingblogs.com,2014-07-03:502551:Comment:18135232014-07-03T23:12:36.646ZTyson J. Springhttp://www.recruitingblogs.com/profile/TysonJSpring204
<p>Have a bit more time on my hands now before I go home for the long weekend. </p>
<p>A few questions I have for you:</p>
<p>1) What's up with unicorns? Are they gay?</p>
<p>2) Why do you have to "come out?" I don't mean you shouldn't, you should do whatever the hell makes you happy/ comfortable at work. But I'm reading this email as though people at your work are judging you when you mention the parade, or the bar, or the wife. Where do you live, anyway? I'd hate to bring my luggage to…</p>
<p>Have a bit more time on my hands now before I go home for the long weekend. </p>
<p>A few questions I have for you:</p>
<p>1) What's up with unicorns? Are they gay?</p>
<p>2) Why do you have to "come out?" I don't mean you shouldn't, you should do whatever the hell makes you happy/ comfortable at work. But I'm reading this email as though people at your work are judging you when you mention the parade, or the bar, or the wife. Where do you live, anyway? I'd hate to bring my luggage to your town.</p>
<p>3) Is it fair to say that being gay, or talking about being gay is taboo in HR? Talking about sex in general is taboo in HR, mainly because they spend so much time in Sexual Harassment training, but talking about sex and talking about regular relationship stuff with your same-sex partner are two entirely different conversations. Is you having a wife considered taboo? </p>
<p>4) Now I'm going to dangerously tip-toe the line of "my best friend is gay", but I assure you, it's relevant here- one of my good friends is Head of HR of an enormous and very public company, and is married to a celebrity newscaster. In other words, there is no secret that he is gay, and definitely no doubt that he's a completely by the book and damned fine HR guy; and I know many others, clients, candidates, recruiters, all members of big HR functions who don't have to keep any secrets about their sexuality. So I guess my question is- if you're afraid of your folks not supporting you, or calling you the loud lesbian, or whatever else concerns you, or mainly people treating you less than equal, are you at the right company? Leaving sexuality out of the conversation, if I had concerns about people not treating me fairly because of one of my god given gifts, I'd bounce.</p>
<p>Have a happy holiday, y'all.</p>
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<p> </p> Thumbs up.tag:www.recruitingblogs.com,2014-07-03:502551:Comment:18133432014-07-03T16:16:27.193ZTyson J. Springhttp://www.recruitingblogs.com/profile/TysonJSpring204
<p>Thumbs up.</p>
<p>Thumbs up.</p> Love this post, Katrina! I ho…tag:www.recruitingblogs.com,2014-07-03:502551:Comment:18132412014-07-03T01:22:18.026ZKelly Blokdijkhttp://www.recruitingblogs.com/profile/KellyBlokdijk
<p>Love this post, Katrina! I hope in my lifetime (sooner, rather than later preferably) we reach a point that EVERYONE realizes how absurd it is that ANYONE should have to hide a major aspect of his/her life or fear a controversial reaction about who s/he is as a human being.</p>
<p>Like Keith, I sometimes forget that there are still far too many people and places where judgment and discrimination of others based on irrelevant personal details is considered “normal.” It stinks that some people…</p>
<p>Love this post, Katrina! I hope in my lifetime (sooner, rather than later preferably) we reach a point that EVERYONE realizes how absurd it is that ANYONE should have to hide a major aspect of his/her life or fear a controversial reaction about who s/he is as a human being.</p>
<p>Like Keith, I sometimes forget that there are still far too many people and places where judgment and discrimination of others based on irrelevant personal details is considered “normal.” It stinks that some people still make a stink out of who someone else happens to be attracted to, fall in love with, or marries. I don’t get it, never have and never will.</p>
<p>Keep up the good work as an all-star marketer and keep the good content coming! </p> Here's to my co-worker Katrin…tag:www.recruitingblogs.com,2014-07-03:502551:Comment:18134062014-07-03T00:18:55.567ZAnna Brekkahttp://www.recruitingblogs.com/profile/AnnaBrekka
<p>Here's to my co-worker Katrina the amazing marketing all-star! </p>
<p>Here's to my co-worker Katrina the amazing marketing all-star! </p> Thanks, Katrina. I'm glad for…tag:www.recruitingblogs.com,2014-07-02:502551:Comment:18133032014-07-02T23:40:53.396ZKeith Halperinhttp://www.recruitingblogs.com/profile/KeithHalperin
<p>Thanks, Katrina. I'm glad for you, and hope it went well.</p>
<p>Living in San Francisco, I have to remind myself that this is still a VERY BIG DEAL in many parts of the country.</p>
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<p>-kh</p>
<p>Thanks, Katrina. I'm glad for you, and hope it went well.</p>
<p>Living in San Francisco, I have to remind myself that this is still a VERY BIG DEAL in many parts of the country.</p>
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<p>-kh</p> I &lt;3 Katrina (as if that i…tag:www.recruitingblogs.com,2014-07-02:502551:Comment:18132332014-07-02T21:52:45.651ZTim Spagnolahttp://www.recruitingblogs.com/profile/TimSpagnola
<p>I &lt;3 Katrina (as if that is a new thing).</p>
<p>I &lt;3 Katrina (as if that is a new thing).</p>