It's been 12 years since i've used and the reason i'm not celebrating it is because of reality.
Reality dictates that the moment you begin celebrating,part of you forgets the hard work you had to endure getting to the point you are currently at.
This allows Murphy's Law to swoop in,just to further confuse the situation and then,without a moments notice there'll be a "perfect storm" brewing and it won't even be detectable....
At least while you're in the eye of it.
The further away the "self-defined" storm moves from the center,the more intense the storm will become.....
Trying to stay on both feet at that point will be close to impossible,as you try and fight your way back to its' epicenter.
Before you know it,you're caught in a whirlwind,with none of those acquaintances that you thought had your back.....well surprise,surprise;they saw this coming from miles away and elected to save themselves and the mere thought of even mentioning it never crossed their mind.
It took me 12 years to finally come to grips with the bad and the ugly,for my own good.

This thread is dedicated to all who have struggled,will continue to and met their demise because of it.

What does one do,when you're swept off your feet(metaphorically) and the storm takes control of your every movement?

You find something to hold onto and hope that the winds eventually subside;they always do.........
How much damage(collateral and otherwise) will be incurred....well......a definitive answer doesn't exist.

One thing that warrants mentioning is that no one ever leaves unscathed.

Just remember that bridges can be repaired but lives cannot.The thing to remember here is that not every bridge needs repair and a few will be beyond this point.
Now that i've lifted my head from out of the clouds,I should prepare a life plan,going forward.

There will be times, that you will be met with a "fork in the road" moment;that point in time which will the defining moment,as you are met with several decisions..
Once you commit to a pathway,there's no turning back.Whatever happens,know that you will need to let it run its course.
The urge to return to the starting point will be entertained,time and again.

I suppose that the two steps forward,one step back saying applies here. The inclination to retreat is instinctual and there will be times,while you're traveling,that your acquaintances will suddenly appear from out of the blue,offering you their support.

They will be the friendly company that misery subscribes to.

Steer clear from them,for your sake.
Remember that you quality of life is at stake.

Respectfully
Phoenix

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The following user gives a hug of support to Phoenix:um Monty (08-17-2012)

The Following User Says Thank You to Phoenix For This Useful Post:Pacifier (08-26-2012)

WOW!!! I couldn't have said that any better,as it is a hard road for sure and a life long part of our decision making every day.
If it wasn't for my wife ready to walk out the door, I would of never stopped the weekend binges,with my crew and other people I thought were friends.

I am 10 years clean now since 2001 my brother and we have to do it.There is nothing better than waking up to NO HELL TODAY!!!

I don't believe nobody has posted to this. I will stand up for what I have done as it was a major accomplishment!!!Good luck with your recovery Phoenix

WOW!!! I couldn't have said that any better,as it is a hard road for sure and a life long part of our decision making every day.
If it wasn't for my wife ready to walk out the door, I would of never stopped the weekend binges,with my crew and other people I thought were friends.

I am 10 years clean now since 2001 my brother and we have to do it.There is nothing better than waking up to NO HELL TOD
I don't believe nobody has posted to this. I will stand up for what I have done as it was a major accomplishment!!!Good luck with your recovery Phoenix

Hello NeckIssueGuy

Congratulations on being 10 years clean.
It's people like you,that help inspire others to want to quit.
It took for your wife to provide a wake up call for you.
Some people bring out the best in others and I believe this is the case here.
I know what you're saying;waking up to life drug-free can be a liberating experience,which I hope more and more people will be able to take in and appreciate with gratitude.
So many are tormented. Facing life on its terms can be overwhelming for many.

I see some of the addicted in my neighborhood and instead of looking down on them,I try to envision what has brought them to their knees.
There are mothers,grandmothers,fathers,cousins,clo se friends,former friends and acquaintances who are affected.
The children suffer in silence,as they know that something's not quite right.Children pay close attention to their parents as they are supposed to be role models.
------------------------------------
If I could,I would reach out to the multitudes and explain to them that there's a better way to live.

I get the fact that one of the most difficult things to do is to take a look at yourself in the mirror and begin taking moral inventory;being brutally honest.
This includes coming to grips with unfortunate traumatic events.

During childhood,when the teacher asked what you want to be when you grow up,no one answered:"I want to be an addict."

I believe that no one wants to be an addict.
There are several factors to consider,when looking into the mind of a drug abuser.
More often than not,they're running away from their past or present issues,rather than facing up to them.

Then there's that awful six letter word,that keeps many from seeking help;denial.
Denial is the nemesis of recovery and will keep a person on a path of self-destruction.

An addict is his own worst enemy.

I respect everyone has a right to do with their life as they see fit. I want and wish the best for each and every individual.

For those who are curious and are thinking:"maybe just one try." I implore you to reconsider.
It's like jumping into a vat of tar;once you're in,it's going to be very difficult to get out of and if you are able to do so,you're left with an awful mess to be cleaned up.
For those who are struggling,know that there's a person who is sincerely wishing the best for all of you.

I'm still struggling with many other issues;none of them drug-related.

What I will state for the record,is if I can try to reach out to those in need,regardless of whatever else plagues me,then you can at least try to consider recovery;please.
I know you hurt and have issues that you'd rather not discuss,for fear of being ridiculed. Know here,you won't be judged.

Sincerely and Respectfully stated
Phoenix

__________________
When in doubt, post it out.

Last edited by Phoenix; 08-19-2012 at 02:27 AM.

The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Phoenix For This Useful Post:Pacifier (08-26-2012), Wendy88 (08-19-2012)

I don't believe nobody has posted to this. I will stand up for what I have done as it was a major accomplishment!!!Good luck with your recovery Phoenix

Thanks NeckIssueGuy

Truth of the matter is that things aren't getting any better out there.Everyone is beginning to feel it.
When one looks up and places their hand out for assistance,it's met at times with a person of misery and we all know how misery loves company.

Yes,it is a major accomplishment and you should very well be proud of yourself.
Many will not get to the point we're at for one reason or another yet I still hope and pray that more will be released from the fortress that is created in each one of us who succumbs to drugs.

In my neighborhood,it seems that people have given up on happiness and just settle for mediocrity or lesser.
The inner-city carries its own stigma and it seems that many have bought into it;that things won't and can't get better........not taking the time to realize there's a difference between the two.
Although i'd like to possess the power to,I can't make people realize that possibilities are still available.

It's a sad state of affairs and it's not easy seeing one's neighborhood slowly erode but it's nonetheless happening.
Very few people want to take responsibility for their actions where I live;they're always pointing the finger at someone else.
I'm still not giving up on everyone;it's not fair to do so,as I am sure that there are still those who want better for themselves.
They're just so hard to spot,as a lot of them hide in plain sight.I pray you stay the course,for we need more examples of success stories.

Respectfully
Phoenix

__________________
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The Following User Says Thank You to Phoenix For This Useful Post:Pacifier (08-26-2012)

I haven't smoked crack in almost 20 years and I still dream about it frequently. Its the hardest drug I ever quit.

Hello cetiya

Now that's what i'm talking about;a success story.
I pray that it will give people hope and courage.

I can relate to it being the most difficult thing I ever did;until present(my ptsd,depression,chronic pain,bulimia and others).

It's difficult to fixate on one thing when there are multiple issues going on at the same time.

Congrats on your 20 years.

The dreams you speak of;do they happen more during the month that you stopped are is it something different entirely?
If this is too sensitive of a topic,please don't feel pressured to answer;I understand.

Respectfully
Phoenix

__________________
When in doubt, post it out.

The Following User Says Thank You to Phoenix For This Useful Post:Pacifier (08-26-2012)

Phoenix,You do reach out to the multitudes here, your wisdom speaks volumes. Your style of writing is beautiful and meaningful, rich with metaphors and such. You are a talented writer as well as helping people here. You probably help people everywhere you go.

The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to blon55 For This Useful Post:Pacifier (08-26-2012), Phoenix (08-21-2012)