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“Next to music there is nothing that lifts the spirits and strengthens the soul more than a good bowl of chili.”

Harry James (1916-1983) band leader and trumpeter

Ah, yes: Chili. Next to chocolate, chili is definitely my favorite comfort food. Every spoonful summons up warm memories of good times past and holds the promise of many more to come.

As a child, I remember being hypnotized by the aroma steaming from that big kettle on Nani’s stove. Regardless of how much snow was falling or how fiercely the wind whistled outside, that whiff of simmering deliciousness was welcoming, warm and wonderful in the big brick house on twenty-Fifth Avenue.

Recently, while chopping veggies to begin our chili dinner and wiping the inevitable onion tears from my eyes with the back of my hand, an overwhelming rush of memories brought on a different set of tears. For a moment I was five years old, waiting for Papo (my grandfather and best friend in the whole world) to come home from work, sweep me up into his loving arms and set me down in the chair next to him at the kitchen table…

“Chili is not so much food as a state of mind. Addictions to it are formed early in life and the victims never recover. On blue days in October, I get this passionate yearning for a bowl of chili, and I nearly lose my mind.”

Margaret Cousins, novelist

The vision vanished as quickly as it had appeared. My kettle of chili was simmering on the stove. Just as it had been all those years ago in my reverie, it was snowing and blowing outside, but the warm, “everything is well with the world” feeling remained. New memories were ready to be created.

“The aroma of good chili should generate rapture akin to a lover’s kiss.”

Motto of the Chili Appreciation Society International

Nani was a wizard in the kitchen and she never needed a recipe to create her magic, she just knew! I learned how to make chili and many other family favorite meals by spending many hours “apprenticing” in that little kitchen on twenty-Fifth Avenue. Over the years, several people have asked me for my chili recipe but I’ve been reluctant to share it. Not because it has to be kept secret but, like Nani, I don’t use any recipe! But, if I did use a recipe – well – it would look like the one below.

A word to the wise, just as memories can seem to become even sweeter over time, chili seems to taste better after resting for a day or two. So make it a day or two before you serve it because as John Steele Gordon told us: “Chili is much improved by having had a day to contemplate its fate.”

Nani’s Chili Recipe

Ingredients:

1 pound extra-lean ground beef

1 pound of ground chicken

Four or five cloves of garlic sliced very thin

Four cups chopped onion

Four cups chopped celery

Four cups green or red bell pepper, cut into small pieces

Two or three hot peppers, if desired

One 15 ounce can of seasoning diced tomato sauce for chili

Two cans of chili ready diced tomatoes

Two 15 ounce cans of hot or mild chili beans with gravy

Seven or eight 15 ounce cans of beans any variety, drained and rinsed

2-3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil

Salt, pepper, chili powder (hot or mild) to taste

Directions:

Sauté garlic, onions, peppers, and celery in olive oil,

then put them into large kettle

In the same pan that was used for the vegetables, brown the ground meat.

Add spices to taste. Drain the meat and add to the kettle with the vegetables.

Add all of the canned ingredients to the kettle, stir, add more spices to taste.

Yesterday I was fit, forty and feeling fabulous. This morning I woke up sluggish, saggy and just this side of sixty-five. No way! Can’t be! But one look into the magic mirror and my fears were confirmed – a youthful spirit is cocooned inside an old person’s body. When did it happen? How could it have sneaked up on me like that? It doesn’t matter; the reality is another “magic birthday” is approaching with alarming velocity.

What are magic birthdays? They’re the milestones of maturity. At the age of twelve, you can’t wait until you’re sixteen and can drive dad’s car. At sixteen, you start counting the minutes to eighteen so you can move out, go to college, and become your own person. At eighteen, an eternity stands between you and magic twenty-one, the “legal age!” and then it happens. A month later, you’re forty and two weeks after that you’re collecting social security!

Funny thing (funny “strange,” not funny “ha ha”), old age was always fifteen years older than I happened to be at the moment. But somehow in the great race of time, I caught up with it! Or maybe more correctly, it sneaked up on me. And it moved in like the proverbial thief in the night. Oh, the signs were all there, but quite obviously I had been in an impervious state of denial. It started with my mind. Little things at first, like misplacing my keys or forgetting somebody’s name. But then it began to snowball. I found myself putting Preparation H on my toothbrush (would it have been worse the other way around?), using hairspray instead of deodorant ,calling my puppy by my son’s name, constantly losing things, putting the car keys into the refrigerator. At least once every day I find myself standing in a room asking myself, “Why did I come here?” Nowadays my mind not only wanders, sometimes it disappears completely!

And then, as if losing one’s mind isn’t bad enough, the body begins to morph into some kind of ancient alien being. Aches, pains, grey hair, thinning hair on your head and new hair growing from places that never had hair before! And, then those telltale, unmistakable signs of maturity: wrinkles.

Just the other day as I was bending over to pet our young bulldog, Emmett, I remembered a scene from an old episode of “The Golden Girls.” Dorothy says to Blanche “You know, when you’re twenty everything stays where it’s supposed to. Now, when you lean over, it looks as though somebody has let the air out of your face.” After Blanche looks down into the hand mirror and is utterly horrified, she says, “Oh my God, Dorothy, why didn’t you tell me about this sooner?” To which Dorothy replies, “Only on your back, Blanche. That way everything slides back and it looks as if you’ve just had a facelift!”

Sometimes the truth hurts. Looking down into that adorable little Bully face the stark reality hit me between the eyes, and wrinkles. We have the same face! The big difference is his wrinkles are cute. Oh well, maybe he thinks mine are cute, too.

But wait, maybe it’s not as bad as it seems. Maybe my magic mirror just needs some Windex. When checking out a bottle of wine at the grocery store, I had to show my drivers license to the clerk to prove I was old enough. Well, yes, it is the store’s policy to require proof of age before purchasing anything with “proof” in the product’s description no matter how old you look or are. However, when the young man looked at the license, he paused, looked up at me with a twinkle in his eyes and said, “Wow! I would never have guessed that year!” Genuine amazement or not, he made my day. For a few minutes I was fit and forty again.

Well, I’ve been young and I’ve been old, and even though young is often better, we all know that growing old is much better than the alternative.

They give us love and acceptance without complaint. When we come home grumpy and fed up from a lousy day at work who greets us with wild abandon and glee? Not our children. Does any one of our pets care whether we are twenty pounds overweight or having a bad hair day? Pets appreciate and accept us no matter what we look like or how much money we have. Pets give all that unconditional love for a bowl of food and a gentle hand.

They Are a Great Audience

Pets allow us to indulge our fantasies. Admit it. You can dance your happy dance or sing along to a song that no one else you know likes and not one of your pets laughs at you in mocking tones. In fact, your pets even get a kick out of your performance. They are the perfect audience and you are a great singer. corn, fillers, artificial colors, and preservatives.

They Make Us Proud

They make us proud and we can brag shamelessly. Whether it’s winning a ribbon in the show ring or just being well behaved when company comes over, our pets have the ability to make us proud even with the simplest effort. Are they healthy and happy? Be proud you are a great pet parent. Did your dog make someone smile today? Be proud of your buddy’s ability to make the world a nicer place. Social media was made for this sort of bragging so shout it out, tweet it or blog about it.

The Connect Us with Nature

They give us a connection to the natural world. If you have ever set up an aquarium you probably learned more than you ever thought possible about water quality, good and bad bacteria, ammonia levels and fish habitats.

Taking a hike with your dog through the woods or in the mountains is a lovely way to immerse yourself in nature and the beauty of our earth. Plus, your dog will think you are a super hero for the time well spent together.

They Protect Us

Sure, the barking can be a bit much when a friend is at the door, but a low growl late at night when the wind is howling and you are watching the latest horror flick. It makes you feel safe. You aren’t facing the boogeyman alone. Your pet is with you. Ready to spring into action and keep you from harm. Boyfriend doesn’t like the cat? Goodbye boyfriend. In-laws scared of the dog? Well the less of them the better, right? House guests overstaying their welcome a bit? Let your cat or dog loose with their alarm clock skills.

A few mornings ago while snuggling with Emmett, our eleven month old Bully, in my oversized chair by the fireplace, sipping on my morning coffee and connecting with the world via iPad, a new email caught my attention.

TAKE NOTE the Official Blog of Sheet Music Plus

10 Tips for Improving SightReading

Published January 16, 2013

By Stephie Stewart

Sight reading (playing through a piece of music for the first time) has always been one of my strengths as a pianist. I’ve never given it much thought as it is something that has always come easily for me. So I was compelled to read the article in the hope that there would be some tips on helping students develop this ability. One click and I was there. The blog began…

“How many times have you seen someone sit down and play music you know they’ve never seen before and play it beautifully? Doesn’t it make you wish you could do that too? Well, the good news is that you can, but it might take a little bit of work. The truth is most people aren’t naturally great sight-readers. They work at it and they practice it. Sight-reading is more often a learned skill than a natural talent.”

Okay, apparently I am not like “most people” (I think my partner would agree heartily with that statement for other reasons!) because I have never had to work at sight-reading. I think it is a gift that could best be described as a double edged sword. Since it has always been easy to play a piece relatively well at first sight, I have not always been sufficiently motivated to spend enough time perfecting the music. So, I read on…

Tip number one, like the Nike commercial, was “Just Do It!”

“…Don’t worry about making it perfect – just concentrate on getting through it. Don’t allow yourself the luxury of working out the hard parts…”

This hit me like a ton of sonatas. Amazing! The Big Picture, of course! Stephie was writing about sight reading music but she struck a major chord within me. Whenever I am faced with a big project, I get so bogged down in the little things that the task becomes more difficult than it should be, sometimes to the point where the job never gets done. The same thing is also true about writing. Paint the big picture first, fill in the details later. Okay, time to apply my sight-reading skills to everyday life. Must read on…

Tip number two, “Look before You Leap“

“Before you actually begin to play, take a minute to look at what’s coming at you. Check the road map – are there any repeats or codas? Knowing what’s ahead will give you a chance to mentally prepare ahead of time and you won’t be surprised by that D.S. right after the page turn.”

Of course. Be prepared. Make an outline, have a plan. The Big Picture again! Can’t stop reading now…

Tip number three, “Just Keep Swimming“

“Whatever happens – don’t stop playing! Keeping your place in the music is essential. If you stop to go back and fix a mistake while playing with others, you’re going to get completely lost – fast. Going back and fixing a mistake when you’re playing by yourself might not seem so bad, but you’ll lose the overall sense of the music and it’s a bad habit to get into for when you do play with someone else. Learn to let go of the mistakes. Play in the moment by always focusing on what you are currently playing and not worrying about what you just played.”

Yes, now this is (if you’ll pardon the pun) key to sight reading. But how true is it in life? Live in the now. Sure, plan for the future, learn from the past, but be in the present. How often do we get so wrapped up in past mistakes or hurts, or
in future plans and worries that we completely miss the joy of now? Here we can take a lesson from Diesel and Emmett and all of their canine cousins. Dogs live blissfully in the present. They don’t hold grudges. They don’t worry about their next meal. Granted, our bullies are pretty spoiled and know they will be amply fed. But even those poor animals that are homeless, or abused, do not get ulcers from worrying.

So, I kept on reading. Tips number four through nine were much more specific to sight reading music (very basic, useful advice dealing with rhythm, theory, technique), but the last one seemed to me the most important of all whether the subject is sight-reading or life…

Tip number ten, “Make it fun”

This tip might be listed last, but don’t let that fool you – making sight-reading fun is vital. If you’re not having fun, how likely is it that you’ll keep sight-reading? Picking music you like to hear and to play, inviting your friends over for a jam session and rewarding yourself for milestones are all good ways to keep things exciting.

What this all boils down to is that to be a better sight reader, you better get sight-reading! Don’t try to do too much at once. Allow yourself to make mistakes and celebrate the victories. But most of all – have fun!

Yes, friends, our time on this earth is way too short not to have fun. To quote Mary Poppins, “In every job to be done there is an element of fun. Find the fun and, snap, the job’s a game…”

Thank you to our friend, Kari G., for this touching blog about human kindness.

“She walked in the door, first thing this morning, with mutiny in her eyes.

It was patently obvious that her day was off to a rough start…..so I pulled her aside for a chat as my student teacher began the lesson. She stormed out of the room and threw herself down on the hallway floor, in tears. I sat down next to her on the floor and waited.

She is new to this classroom, having been transferred from another room due to behavioral issues, and I don’t know her well. She was clearly dressed in Christmas finery….purple from head to toe, tags still visible on the pants to prove to observers that they were new and not second hand. I looked at her shoes……brand new, sparkly purple and silver Vans…..but something was odd. She was stepping on the heels, pressing them down, as though they were slides.

New shoes are a Big Event in a child’s world. Usually, the first scuff will bring distress. I asked if something was wrong. “They won’t go on my feet!” she sobbed. “They’re new and they HURT!” It was the first day she was allowed to wear her special shoes, and they quite literally would not fit on her feet. She was beside herself…..and is not a girl who has much control on the best of days. And, honestly….a girl with gorgeous new shoes that DO NOT FIT? The Cinderella story is all about the shoes, and how they transform the girl, after all.

She told me where her Mom had bought the shoes, and not knowing what else to do, I called the store and explained. They had a pair one size bigger, and agreed to hold them for me until closing. I called Mom……who doesn’t like calls from school, for they happen, all too often, to bring news of misbehavior. At first she thought I was calling to complain. “I am not coming up there to bring her different shoes! She should have changed them!” But when she understood I was calling to ask her permission to exchange the shoes for her, she brought box, receipt, and a spare pair of shoes for her daughter to wear in the meantime.

Tomorrow morning, this girl will have new shoes that fit. I live 5 minutes from the store…..it’s a 25 minute drive for this family, 50 minutes round trip, and Mom works from 2 until 10 pm. It was such an easy thing for me to do…..I was going there to exchange a shirt for Rod, anyway. But hopefully, oh, hopefully….. by doing this one small thing, I have made a tentative bond with this very troubled child…..and her family.”

Every 365 days, give or take a leap year, we two-legged creatures make a new resolve to be better. After a month or so of holiday-induced indulgences, we make lofty resolutions. We will lose weight, work out more, slow down, speed up, reconnect with old friends, be kinder, be more assertive, save money, invest more, and the list goes on. No matter how well-intentioned our new year promises may be, generally they last only a little longer than the holiday decorations. But we try to be good.

As we approach this new year year, Emmett, our 10 month old bulldog, has compiled his own four-legged list of resolutions. Actually, I have made the list for him, but if he could do it himself, I’m sure it would read something like this:

1. I will let you sleep until the alarm goes off and the coffee is ready. I will not grunt, groan or whimper to go out until your feet have already hit the floor.

2. I will wait politely at the door when guests arrive and greet each one calmly and quietly.*

3. I will stop chewing what is left of the bushes in our yard.

4. I will chew my food slowly and not slobber water from one end of the kitchen to the other.

5. I will not pull on my leash and dislocate my master’s shoulder.

6. I will not bury my nose in the waste baskets diving for discarded facial tissues, napkins or paper towels to chew on. Likewise, I will not “accidentally” knock the garbage can over even though I will continue to clean the floor instantly of anything that may happen to drop.

7. I will sit, stay and lie down when commanded to do so.

8. I will respect my “big brother,” Diesel and will not steal his favorite toys, deer antlers or food.

9. I will continue to give sloppy-wet-doggie-kisses and keep my mistress’ lap warm every morning as we sit in our oversized chair together.

10. I will continue to give unconditional, mad, crazy love every day.*

* * *

To tell the truth, as appealing as resolutions 1 through 8 seem to be, as long as he keeps numbers 9 & 10, this is going to be a wonderful new year.

* Emmett would like to thank PetFoodDirect.com for posting these ideas December 29, 2012 and inspiring this blog.

Looking for a good book to read this Christmas? Christmastime is a great time to relax and enjoy a book that is set during the Christmas season-and not necessarily a sappy Christmas tale either. Here are some of the best adult books about Christmas.

The Greatest Gift– Philip Van Doren Stern. This 1943 short story was the basis for the classic 1946 movie It’s a Wonderful Life. While many of the names and details were changed for the movie, the basic premise is the same. This is a must-read for fans of the movie.

On Strike For Christmas– Sheila Roberts. This entertaining book is about a group of fed-up wives who decide to go on strike at Christmas time, forcing their helpless husbands to take over the holiday decorating and party planning duties

The Ecco Book of Christmas Stories– Alberto Manguel. This collection of Christmas-themed short stories features selections from Alice Munroe, Muriel Spark, William Trevor, Jeanette Winterson and more. “O’Brien’s First Christmas” (Winterson) is a must-read.

Skipping Christmas– John Grisham. In a departure from his usual writing style, John Grisham’s story about Luther and Nora Krank’s decision to “skip” celebrating Christmas for one year is a hoot. If you saw the movie “Christmas With the Kranks”, keep in mind that this book is much better.

A Christmas Story– Jean Shepherd. This book of essays inspired the 1983 holiday movie, A Christmas Story. Jean Shepherd is a master storyteller and the book has even more charm than the movie.

An Idiot Girl’s Christmas: True Tales from the Top of the Naughty List-Laurie Notaro. If the Christmas season has you feeling stressed, lighten up with this collection of stories from humorist Laurie Notaro.

Holidays on Ice: Stories– David Sedaris. Sedaris’ masterful collection of hilarious Christmas essays includes his popular account of working as a Christmas elf at Macy’s. You will laugh out loud.

The Christmas Sweater- Glenn Beck. There’s a bunch of somewhat sappy Christmas books out there, all with the title “The Christmas (fill in the blank)”. This is not one of them. Radio and TV host Glenn Beck provides readers with a solid story that has a little bit of sugar but not too much sap. This book is based on Beck’s own true story.

The Christmas Train– David Balducci. Here’s another book with the dreaded “The Christmas” title, but it has all the ingredients of a good holiday novel. With a combination of mystery and romance, readers will enjoy this story of a man who takes a cross-country train ride at Christmas.

A Christmas Carol- Charles Dickens. No list would be complete without including this classic story. This book was first published in 1843. The story has stood the test of time, being revamped and adapted for numerous television and movie versions. If it’s been a while since you’ve experienced the original story, a reread is highly recommended must this Christmas.

It is so easy to become so occupied with the future and completely forget that we have the present.

First of all, thanks to radio personality Vicki McKenna for her Facebook posting today (the title for this blog). According to the ancient Mayan calendar, today was to be “The End Of The World As We Know It.” Unless some major catastrophe strikes within the next few hours, it looks like we may have more time on our hands to enjoy. And here is my point, enjoy the moment! It is much too easy to dwell on the past and/or fret about the future. All we really have is right now.

My father said it beautifully to me: “All we can really do is make memories, so make sure you make good ones.” I have always tried to do just that.

But, don’t just take my word for it, others have said it more eloquently than I.

“One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living.” ~ Dale Carnegie

Reflect on your present blessings, of which every man has many; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some. Charles Dickens

Look not mournfully into the past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future, without fear. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

A preoccupation with the future not only prevents us from seeing the present as it is but often prompts us to rearrange the past. Eric Hoffer, The Passionate State of Mind

I don’t think of the past. The only thing that matters is the everlasting present. W. Somerset Maugham, The Moon and Sixpence

Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have. Eckhart Tolle

Learning to live in the present moment is part of the path of joy. Sarah Ban Breathnach

The time is now, the place is here. Stay in the present. You can do nothing to change the past, and the future will never come exactly as you plan or hope for. Dan Millman

I decided not to let my past rule my future so I decided to change my present in order to open up my future. Dr. Ana M Guzman

There are fine things which you mean to do some day, under what you think will be more favorable circumstances. But the only time that is surely yours is the present, hence this is the time to speak the word of appreciation and sympathy, to do the generous deed, to forgive the fault of a thoughtless friend, to sacrifice self a little more for others. Today is the day in which to express your noblest qualities of mind and heart, to do at least one worthy thing which you have long postponed, and to use your God-given abilities for the enrichment of someone less fortunate. Today you can make your life – significant and worthwhile. The present is yours to do with as you will. Grenville Kleiser

Children have neither past nor future; they enjoy the present. Jean de la Bruyere

Music lives in three tenses at once. Developing what comes before it in the past, it engages us in the present, and inspires our hopes for its future. Warren Benson, Professor of Composition at The Eastman School of Music

The only use of a knowledge of the past is to equip us for the present. The present contains all that there is. It is holy ground; for it is the past, and it is the future. Alfred North Whitehead

The greatest loss of time is delay and expectation, which depend upon the future. We let go the present, which we have in our power, and look forward to that which depends upon chance, and so relinquish a certainty for an uncertainty. Seneca, Roman dramatist, philosopher, & politician (5 BC – 65 AD)