Porter was arrested in California on Friday night on a warrant for allegedly passing bad checks in Nevada. (In pre-60s parlance, that was called "hanging paper." I wish they still called it that.) The law held him without bail. And, according to the Kern County sheriff's website, Porter is, this morning, still in jail, with a projected release date of Wednesday, Dec. 26. One imagines this is a tough weekend to find judges. But Porter ought to look on the bright side: At least he didn't have to watch Steelers-Bengals.