Splott is not South Shields!

Yes, you can tell that the local elections will soon be upon us, as news reaches this desk that a large throng of Labour party members joined South Shields MP David Miliband in banging doors and canvassing support in Splott!

The globe trotting tourist and mega earning former Foreign Secretary was once again filling his spare time with another activity in a part of the world remote from South Shields, but look on the bright side, without this news we would never have heard of Splott!

“Having a recognizable face such as David Miliband turn up at your doorstep making an effort makes a huge difference.”

Much more of this and his face will become almost unrecognizable in his own constituency. I’m sure the comedienne Jo Brand must have had a joke up her sleeve about it when she was invited to give the South Shields lecture.