Question: How many racing
events do you see with 4 wheeled cars lapping a track?

Answer: Roughly 3854
per month (okay I made this up, but my point stands).

So what makes F1 stand out from the crowd? Some would argue
that you are watching the pinnacle of motorsport with the most advanced
technology. Sure, as a fan I like to read about the tech and appreciate the
bragging rights behind being the most
advanced and blah blah blah... Something still bothered me after watching the
first two races in the season though.

It wasn’t loud enough.

I find myself in a rather strange situation where I am
annoyed at me for being so shallow.
I always thought I was someone who appreciated attention to detail and subtleties.
Now, after getting just that, I am left bored and unentertained. I miss the noise,
it was exciting, unique and just plain mad. I wish had a little gnome to follow
Bernie Ecclestone around. I’d call him Dobby, and I would give Dobby a
universal remote control with which to mute Bernie’s TV every time he tries to
watch something. I’d totally give Dobby a sock if he did that till the day
Bernie died. Mute! No sound for you Mr Ecclestone. Mute again!!

I NEEED excitement. I want to see a bunch of 50 million
dollar cars smashing into each other, cartwheeling off the track and into some
trees leaving a trail of destruction and a really big fire somewhere, Anywhere! Back in the refuelling days
fires were common, I fondly recall instances where entire fuel hoses and a
couple of men holding them were dragged down the pit lane in a ball of fire
because a twitching driver had too much caffeine before the race. RIP refuelling. I fondly recall engines
exploding on the last lap of a race covering the track in a mixture of fire
smoke and oil. So far the only problems hybrid engines have had are software
related. SOFTWARE! Watching a live broadcast of a software issue is pathetic,
the car just stops and won’t go till some tekkie in the pits plugs in his
laptop. Drivers can’t even floor it anymore! For crying out loud! It’s a
friggin RACE!

This weekend I praised Lewis Hamilton for having a perfect
weekend (pole position, lead the whole race and stand at the top of the podium
at the end) but at the back of my mind I thought “jeepers he should be crowned as winner of the most boring race in the
field too”. I read an article in which Lewis Hamilton describes how
challenging it is for the drivers with the new rules.

Okay, I thought, challenging
= exciting >>therefore>> races will be more fun, right.

Right?

WRONG!!!

The crux of Hamilton’s argument is that it is more difficult
for the drivers because they have to do some maths while driving to make sure
they use only a specified amount of fuel over the duration of the race (100
litres). If you get the math wrong you will go very fast, beat almost everyone
and celebrate on the podium with some bubbly shortly before FIA officials in
black suits take all your points and your trophy away (hey, at least you won
some memories and entertained your home crowd Mr Riccardo). Hamilton then goes
through details about how tough fuel saving strategies are and how
one has to “lift and coast” to the corners to make your fuel ration last
till the checkered flag (see the rest of this diplomatic article on http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/formula1/26767232
). In any case it is great that drivers are challenged but what about the fans?
I do not tune in to a live race to see cars ‘lifting and coasting’. I wish
Bernie would retire already so Ross Brawn can come back to fill his shoes and
make F1 fans happy again.