In 2015, we traveled to New Zealand, Bolivia, California, British Columbia, and Australia. We took bikes, cameras, and curiosity. The theme: mountain passes. Our goal: Find the cleanest, most interesting, most stylish line from one side of a mountain to the other—like skateboarding or surfing, only with loaded bikes. We called this project Dead Reckoning.

We rode on fat bikes, road bikes, and 29er gravel bikes. We were self-supported or at the very least self-reliant, except when we weren’t, wondering the whole time if the route would be possible, and if it was possible, how bad it would hurt, and if it did hurt, how much fun it would be to hurt that bad.

The point is that bikes are an amazing form of sport and transportation. But they’re also an ideal tool for exploration and casual anthropology. As it turns out, 15 mph is exactly the right speed at which to observe the world.

And for what it’s worth, in addition to riding them, you can put bikes in a bush plane, strap them to a helicopter, lash them to your back, and tie them to a raft. Basically they go where you go. And if worse comes to worse, you can always just ride them on the downhills. Probably.

What follows is a collection of metaphors, anecdotes, and tips from our bikepacking adventures, which when taken as a whole, might, with some luck, amount to something approximating 101 insights into getting way the hell off the grid with your bike, a backpack, maybe some strangers, and plenty of good friends. (Start recording your own adventures in Bicycling's Ride Journal!)

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1. Try before you ride.
If you embark with a bike you haven’t ridden in final adventure mode (i.e.: fully loaded), the bikepacking adventure will be over before it even starts.

2. Pack extra gloves.
You can’t have too many. The weather will always be worse than you expect. The ounces you saved by ditching an extra pair of cycling gloves will come back to haunt you.

3. Embrace tubeless tires.
Remember 56K dial-up internet? It was great. You’d punch in a URL, go make coffee, and by the time you returned there’d be a cute polar bear on your screen. But you’d never choose it today. Let tubes go the way of 56K and say farewell to pinch flats forever.

4. Bring a book.
Books aren’t light and they get wet. But without electricity it’s amazing how quickly it gets dark, and in the middle of the wilderness when no one else is around, you will feel less alone.

5. Deploy the cinnamon roll.
Wrap wet clothes in newspaper, and roll (the paper is the dough; the clothes, the cinnamon). Useful in high-mountain hamlets where rain never stops and there are no trees to burn.

6. Practice optimistic skepticism (OS).
A cousin of Irrational Exuberance, OS encourages the wild and ambitious. Unlike its headstrong relation, it demands a wary eye. How it works: Your plan was to attain a vista camping spot. But there’s a blizzard, so you camp below snowline instead. Next day, your party does not need to resort to eating each other.

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1. When deployed correctly, each will get you home safely.

2. The only time you’ll be comfortable wearing one is while you’re blissfully floating in the air.

3. Walking with either of them on your back is debilitating.

4. If you have to use either, you’ve made some really poor decisions.

5. For a while, if you can forget how you got there and what you have to do next, the view can be fantastic.

6. The sensation of imminent and simultaneous physical and psychological danger.

7. The pride in knowing that a representation of the proletariat is hanging from your shoulders.

6. Mayonesa
This is kinda mayonnaise, in the same way that apple Jolly Ranchers are kinda apples.

7. Tuna
Labeled as tuna; pungent and gross; a Trojan horse of dietary vengeance: Do not eat!

8. Coca-Cola
Move over Michael Jackson! Everyone knows Coca-Cola is the King of Pop.

9. Eggs
They can’t even help but be organic and cage free.

10. Pepsi
Fake, knockoff, wannabe Coca-Cola; bought in haste; whatever you do, do not make this mistake.

11. “That Leaf”
Bolivian wizards, shamans, and adventurers have used the leaf of the coca plant for eons (it is said to aid in altitude sickness, digestion, circulation, headaches, and “regularity”). True that when this leaf is put through a chemical process it becomes cocaine, but that’s not how most Bolivians use it. Like them, we stuffed the raw leaf in our cheeks and chewed on it all day. Important: Don’t “eat” eat it.

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1. Meet a man and a woman leading a horse-pack train over Windy Pass. Share some conversation, then pay attention when they say…

2. “Watch out for the grizzly up the trail. Make some noise. And work it. You’ll be fine.”

3. Pretend, collectively, that you know what it means to “work” a bear.

4. Tie your shoelaces, have a snack, stay together, and continue up the trail because what else are you going to do?

5. Just when you thought the horse packers were—like you’d said all along—ghosts from the 1800s haunting the Chilcotins, see the bear, spook the bear, watch it run off the trail about 30 feet before it stands up and turns around.

1. an accordion on the last day of Oktoberfest2. that balloon bus on the cover of Led Zeppelin’s first album3. a premature soufflé4. a rolled-up, empty tube of toothpaste5. a boa constrictor’s sparring partner6. an empty treasure chest7. a haunted sub­marine, or maybe it’s a hunted submarine... same dif8. a banana peel: brown, empty, and without purpose (unless you decide to eat the banana peel)

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When traveling through the High Andes of Bolivia, you’ll probably encounter at least one vigilante tollbooth: a guy or gal demanding tribute for using the road that travels by his or her land. After rigorous testing, we recommend the following strategies:

The colorful-paper technique
Bolivian vigilante tollbooth operators are attracted to colorful paper with numbers and portraits of famous dead people on them. If you have some of this paper to spare, spare some, but stick to the low, single numbers.

The “Look, a condor!” technique
Bolivian vigilante tollbooth operators have a fascination with these titanic Andean carrion birds. Point with gusto to a space in the sky and shout, “CONDOR!” Once the operator has turned to look, make your break.

The blissfully ignorant technique
Bolivian vigilante tollbooth operators crave attention, then feed on your reaction. Ignoring them can be effective. But be warned, these are tollbooth vigilantes. You will want to ogle. And once you interact… well, just don’t.

The last resort
If you’re traveling to Bolivian vigilante tollbooth territory, bring someone you can sacrifice: your party’s weak link, the one who sleeps in, never makes food, and always flats. This person might be great at Sudoku, they might even be your husband or wife, but when you’re facing a vigilante tollbooth situation, you ­do what you gotta do.

In Spanish-Speaking Countries… tipo
like, same as, similar; especially when paired with pantomime and wild gesticulation

In Canada… eh
universal punctuation; works as a period, question mark, and exclamation point

In New Zealand… sweet as
right on, OK; an inherently positive confirmation

When English Is Spoken Through a Swedish Filter… Bruce Lee
a grizzly; critical in countries where the alpha predator is the size of a VW bug and bristling with teeth and claw. If you hear “Bruce Lee, Bruce Lee, BRUCE LEE!” you might want to go for your ghost-pepper-infused bear spray instead of prepping your duckface for a selfie.

Ghost ride your bike, it won’t balance itself. Unless for therapeutic reasons you need a little time alone, some quality “me” time, then sure, send ’er. But remember to never…

Abandon your bike. You’ll need it later.

¹ Your bike will be loaded with excess weight in the form of tents, water, food, clothes, toothpaste. ² With all this weight, grades you’d normally be able to ride up will be unrideable. ³ Especially after five previous days of riding, sleeping on the ground, nearly freezing each night, and being harassed by real (or the idea of) wild animals.

1. “The only reason I considered this ‘route’ even remotely possible was because I figured we could just walk up this stretch of river since the water was low. This rain might change things.”

2. “Let me get this straight, the fastest way across this bridge is backwards?”

3. “Wow, three hours later and it’s up to my nipples.”

4. “First of all, you realize he can’t hear us, right? Second of all, he’s pinned to a rock. And c) This is why people carry rope. I mean, right?”

5. “I think we, like, NEED to make a few really good decisions immediately. So let’s not panic but also let’s not get hypothermia and whatever comes after hypothermia.”

6. “I can’t hear anything in this hood.”

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About the Authors

Yonder Journal is an online study of recreation in the form of exploration and casual anthropology. We are compelled into the wilderness to explore and document a meaningful record of our experiences within the purview of 'yonder.' This dispatch prepared by Kyle von Hoetzendorff and Daniel Wakefield Pasley.

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