Thursday, May 26, 2011

As I thought, my mother couldn’t hold out from my pestering for a week. But I seemed to keep running into one problem after another, delaying me for some time. I apologize for this.

And so it all comes to light, now. The most obvious seems to have been the case.

My father was protecting me. I had been in contact with one of the beasts as a child. I had had nightmares, spoken of a man that wasn’t there, who terrified and yet comforted me with open arms waiting. My mind was racked, dreams invaded, and I drew like a man possessed.

All the hallmarks are there. The drawings are gone because my mother burned them.

It started after a trip to a cabin in some small forest near our town for fishing and that sort of thing. I apparently saw it there, told my parents, and was brushed aside. I was just jumping at shadows, of course, they would say. But after we returned home, it not only continued, the condition was exacerbated. I was taken to psychologists and they found nothing. All they could tell me was that I genuinely believed I saw something, but could find nothing otherwise wrong with me. The next step was that I was really being targeted by some tall man in a suit. This was reported to the police. They of course never found such a man. This went on for some time. And then one day, my father just left early in the morning. He left a note for me, which I am trying to locate somewhere in all my family’s old belongings. Provided it hasn’t been thrown out.

Of course, that letter was his last attempt to communicate with any of us. The next thing we knew, they found him dead in that same forest. My father had perished, but within days, I realized I would never see one of those faceless things again (until now, of course).

So that’s it. I was one of the lucky children to escape. Whatever my father did, however he distracted the Slender Man, it seemed to have worked. My father saved my life.

Monday, May 16, 2011

I’m sorry I haven’t posted in over two weeks. I honestly don’t know what’s been keeping me from this. My finals didn’t keep me that busy. But straight into the work. (Disclaimer: I must admit that I am not an expert on the following material, so the conjectures presented should be subjected to even more criticism than normal)

--How do the children escape?

My current thoughts on this are that the Slender Man stalking the child in question is “calibrated” to a certain type of brain chemistry. Or rather whatever method the Slender Man uses to access a human mind is. It is accustomed to a “childish” brain, and if it gets distracted, say by an interloper such as a parent, during a point in the child’s life during which the brain chemistry is altered, say puberty, it either can’t or chooses not to adapt and simply goes after another “childish” brain.

Assuming this, we must assume that the percentage of Slender Men “thrown off” in such a fashion is very small.

Alternatively, if adaptation is indeed impossible, it may be that any child that reaches puberty can be saved. In this case, certain medications may be used to save children from being taken while young. Of course, medications that might force puberty to occur should be avoided for obvious reasons.

As a note, this may have a connection to the medications some of the victims in various blogs have been documented to take. More information is needed for any certainty.

--Does it simply stop or does it taper off?

If it is indeed the brain chemistry as described above, it depends on the adaptability. If they refuse to adapt it may be a sudden stop or a tapering effect. If they cannot adapt the same could be said, depending on if they must have an “exact” chemistry or if it slowly becomes inaccessible.

If a disruption does occur, preventing contact, a sudden stop would be expected.

--Why does a Slender Man wait years and years for a second attempt?

If a Slender Man is interrupted and thereby loses contact with a child due to chemical change, they must wait until they can access their brain chemistry again. But if they can adapt, why wait? And if they can’t, how is it possible to access the now permanently changed brains?

The most reasonable answer is that they can adapt to different brain chemistries, but not suddenly. By comparison, a human can be killed by a sudden high dose of poison, or become immune over a period of time of controlled exposure. The same principle may apply here. Trying to access a suddenly changed (chemically speaking) mind may be “toxic” and render it impossible. On the other hand, actually being in contact as the child becomes an adolescent may allow the Slender Man in question to now go after teenagers in addition to children.

However, it may take many, many children until this occurs. The initial victim that escaped may be out of puberty again once this has occurred, and the issue must be resolved again. The Slender Man must become accustomed to the adult brain chemistry. Once this is achieved, a Slender Man, frighteningly, can pursue virtually anyone they want.

Thankfully, there is no telling how long this may take.

--Is the goal the same as with the children or is there another reason?

This is absolutely impossible to know. I have no inkling of an idea as to what the initial idea is to begin with, thus I cannot possibly say if it has changed. Perhaps this condition of whether the child escaped or not makes them a candidate to be an Agent, or ensures their demise.

Perhaps the Slender Man that finds them the second time isn’t even the same one. Even that much is impossible to know for sure. For that matter, it’s impossible to know if there is only one from the beginning.

Now there’s a nightmare. Imagine being cornered some dark night by half a score of those abominations.

I’ll leave you with that. My mother may have information to give me regarding my father’s death at any time. I’ve been waiting for her to call me back, as she was in no shape to tell me anything immediately, as one might expect with such an issue. But two weeks is too long. I’m leaving for home later this week since classes have finished for the semester. She can’t hold off on the issue much longer.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

I have to give a quick update, everyone, before I can start on the previously discussed set of questions.

The Slender Man following me is becoming more bold. It’s moving away from the forest more, and closer to me. Previously, it seemed to stay within twenty feet of at least one tree, but has recently started appearing much closer to me. In fact, at one point it was within ten feet of me. Well and away the closest it has come yet. If it had been lying down it would have touched me.

And the sounds have started again. Loudly into the night they play for me, a satanic symphony. I have confirmed with several people on my floor that no one else has heard them. It’s a good thing I don’t really worry about what they think of my sanity, though.

I can’t help but think it reminded me of the Flower of the Panopticon (hereafter shortened to Flower) to get me digging and unnerve me. It certainly has done that. Remembering the strange date of creation for the Flower’s file, finding out just how horrific my father’s death was, and all the questions raised by both. I must admit I’m not in the most reasonable mood at the moment. My hands are shaking as I type.

But what scares me is I don’t know if it’s fear or anticipation.

All the depressing thoughts and happenings aside, I feel alive. There is a purpose to this work now. Slender Men are real, they have affected my family in the past, and there is (in my mind) a small glint of hope, maybe even victory in the past.

How? Why? When? Where? Who? The five basic questions are firing as fast as the neurons can reload. My mind races. The puzzle pieces shift and try to fit in any way they can. I think my father left me something important in this. Maybe I just want to believe that he it wasn’t just a brief encounter. I want to believe that my father actually fought back against this nearly unfathomable monstrosity to a final, fatal stalemate.

Such a romanticized idea is unlikely, but I can’t help think there may be some truth to it, even if only by some happy accident. However, until I can speak with my mother about both my father’s behavior and my own surrounding the incident, I cannot be certain of anything.

However, something else has recently occurred. I’ve found a location that seems to have consistent activity. There is an old observatory on campus that always has some sort of activity when I recorded near it. To be perfectly clear, I have no intention of breaking in, as the experiences of J, Strahm, and others has shown me this is rarely if ever a good idea. I do, however, feel that it is relevant to mention it now, however briefly.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

So my father’s death was described in rather grisly (I really didn’t think they were able to give this kind of information, more for taste than security) detail in the archives of my local papers. It’s also amazing that they allowed that picture. They could never do that today, I should think, I don’t know who they did it then. But it’s clear that my father didn’t die of stab wounds.

At any rate, it yielded more clues than I could have hoped for reasonably. At the least, it confirms that it was a suspected murder, though I have yet to find follow up information indicating how the investigation went. Though considering I cannot recall my mother or myself being interviewed concerning his death, I feel that either it didn’t last long or that there never was a proper investigation at all.

After all, there was a lack of material evidence. At the time of the article, no fingerprints, tire tracks (other than those of my father’s truck), footprints (other than my father’s), or indeed anything tangible could be found pointing to a subject. The only known thing was that my father had been killed with something sharp.

However, it is was his manner of death that was especially grisly. His abdominal wall had been cut though, then ripped open. His organs had, apparently, been individually removed and subsequently replaced in the body.

Anyone reading this should know that this is a more or less typical scene from a Slender Man’s killing. There was nothing taken, except a life and the structural integrity of a person’s innards.

But perhaps the strangest part is that my father didn’t have any of the characteristic behavior of someone being stalked by a Slender Man. There was no paranoia, no obsessive observation, no frantic drawing. My father went to work every day, came home, watched TV, played with me, he even helped around the house. He was a more or less normal person to the end.

Thus there are two primary possibilities for how my father came to this state (killed by a Slender Man, but with none of the accompanying behavior changes):

One, he came upon it suddenly and tried to interfere with it (saving me/someone? If it was me, it fits with both a Slender Man coming after children and returning again when they are older if they evade it the first time).

And two, there was something different about my father. Maybe he simply hid it from me. Maybe his mentality simply made him too stubborn to give into the fear (a proto-Zeke Strahm?). Maybe he carried a mutation that made him immune to a Slender Man’s control (if the fear is caused by a Slender Man interfering with the mind directly). Maybe it was something even more farfetched and ludicrous, like my father being a Slender Man.

Of the two, the first is obviously more likely. There was a precedent for this in Just Another Fool, provided it wasn’t the rambling of a veteran driven insane. The second is unlikely, though it is possible that my father simply hid it well. My memory is foggy around that time (itself a cause for concern), so it could be that I simply forgot any subtle behavior changes my father made to hide his situation from me.

But the strangest thing perhaps was my father’s age. My father was in his early forties when he died, by far the oldest case I have come across (Strahm was 27 if I recall correctly, the oldest age I can recall given explicitly by a blog). This again may suggest that it was a more “spur of the moment” incident compared to the stalking examples typically seen. If a Slender Man had intended to claim my father as a child who escaped him previously, why wait so uncharacteristically long and apparently simply end it quickly rather than dragging it out as is typical?

So I must conclude for the moment that my father had not been pursued before his death. I will have to ask my mother for more details since she may have held even more information back due to the nature of his death.

But in the meantime, this makes me think of a subject that I have yet to discuss, and that I have not yet found any information on whatsoever.

How do the children escape? Does it simply stop or does it taper off? Why does a Slender Man wait years and years for a second attempt? Is the goal the same as with the children or is there another reason?

While I work up the nerve to open these old family wounds, I’ll try to make some sense of these questions, and hopefully come to sensible answers.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

So, there is a symbol in my old files. I had forgotten about it, but it’s been around in my backups for ten or more years now. But let’s just get it out of the way. Here’s the image (edited for size):

It looks like a flower to me, so I’ll call it as such. However, it personally reminds me of a certain type of prison, the Panopticon. This prison is constructed in a circular fashion with a central tower. The cells are such that the guards, in the tower, can view into any of them at any time. However, the tower windows are constructed in such a way that the imprisoned cannot be sure if they are looking at them or not. The point is control. The prisoners cannot see the guards, so they can never be sure when it is safe to do something… less than moral or forbade within the walls, such as escape attempts.

At any rate, there is something it reminds me of even more, as mentioned in the last post:

The Operator Symbol. Although it’s almost certainly unnecessary, a comparison follows:

This makes me wonder if I had an encounter in the past with a Slender Man, and out of boredom stylized the symbol that is so common to its appearances. However, as mentioned, I did not own a computer when this apparently was created. But I did finally realize something. And I believe this to be very significant.

The date in the file’s properties states it was created the day my father was killed. Or rather when they found him.

My father died under strange conditions. Not that his cause of death was atypical. It was obvious that he had been stabbed repeatedly, or at least that’s what anyone would tell me. It was where they found him. He was near his truck in the woods.

Up a tree. They found it odd that he would be in a tree after being killed, as the evidence suggested that he had been placed there after he almost entirely bled out. There was almost no blood on the tree itself.

That was all anyone ever told me. I was just a child at the time, it would have been cruel to tell me anything more graphic than that, I suppose. Even that was a little much.

But now, I must assume that there was something more than that to his death. The symbol’s date could simply be a taunt, trying to elicit an emotional response from me. But I can’t afford that. The tree symbolism is near constant within Slender Man lore. I can’t dismiss it out of hand as coincidence, as it may be the connection that finally led a Slender Man to me, rather than it simply finding me after I started investigating it. That’s more likely than coincidence.

However, I’ll have to look through public records to figure out if any of my assumptions are correct. I have to admit, I think I’m making too many sweeping declarations lately. My father died, therefore Slender Man involvement. I’m grasping at straws, it seems.

Friday, April 15, 2011

So I’m home for the weekend, and it’s certainly relaxing. I don’t have to see a Slender Man for a couple of days (hopefully), and the only strange sounds at night are the familiar ones of the house settling.

And no tests or coursework to worry about either.

I love being able to just kick back, sleep in, and not worry about anything except what to do with my friends, who I haven’t seen in some time. I love this laidback lifestyle. Living in a suburb of a major city. Everything you need is close by, scenery of all kinds to take in, and all the people you can stand.

Pity I can’t stand most people.

But that’s neither here nor there. In fact, this entire post is absolutely pointless. This is what blogs are supposed to be about. Just the everyday happenings of the average Joe. I wish I could go back to the beginning and ignore all the video and text that lead me down this path. It’s such a hassle to just keep up a semblance of normal life when you have to look over your shoulder out of fear of being snatched up.

It may not come across very well in my writing, but this whole experience has left me rattled. The thing about writing is that you can always edit out emotion in post, even if it’s very personal. That’s one of those things I’ve never understood about the internet. Everyone can put up a calm, dignified front easily, whether they actually are or not. But very few do, it seems. So many let their emotions get the best of them, typing up angry responses to dissenting opinions or empty taunts on message boards. It’s so pointless.

But I’m certainly not guiltless in this regard. My last post concerning The Tutorial was seething with anger at M. Just because I don’t use exclamation points doesn’t mean I’m not a little… excited. I was a little out of line, I think. I should have controlled myself better. I shouldn’t simply disregard someone’s experiences out of hand. After all, tall tales and legends grew from exaggeration and trying to make sense out of memories tainted by fear and darkness. The same can be said about the Slender Man blogs. People are just trying to make sense of their experiences. Unfortunately, they may not have the time or knowledge to make a scientific judgment.

Really, I’m shocked that I still have the time. Not only because finals are but a few short weeks away. I’ve been in this long enough that I would have thought stranger things would have happened. I’ve yet to have been “moved,” it’s never appeared closer than thirty feet, and I haven’t started making any crazy drawings, or even recording myself.

But there is something I would like to discuss. It’s a symbol. One I had long forgotten, but found today in some of my old computer files as I was backing up files on an external hard drive. I don’t know where it came from. The properties indicate it was created before I ever owned a computer, and it bears an odd similarity to, among other things, the Operator Symbol.I’ll post an overview of it tomorrow.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Due to some poor budgeting on my part, I will not be able to do anything regarding the ultraviolet or infrared cameras at the moment. Sometimes electronics you have simply break down, and they prevent you from getting the ones that you want.

This will set back any possible experiments for some time, I assume. Unless I get some surprise income that is, which is highly unlikely.