best of craigslist : Coca-Cola Blak? You can’t be serious.

The label had that catchy artfag “Buy me now and you’ll be fucking goth bitches tonight!” quality to it. Like it’s too good for you, that you’re a better person for having it nearby, because it distracts people from your many shortcomings. It stares right through your fucking soul with that little 0 thing in the center, and laughs at your tiny penis. It sends out MySpace event invitations to all it’s friends except for you. Fuck, you’re not even in it’s Top 8. Screech is in it’s Top 8, Rick James is in it’s top 8, and even Pepsi is in there just for the irony. It wants to remind you that you suck, and that you need to get a haircut.