Friends and Familiy

Just arriving home from visiting my parents who live 900 miles away. As I sat and visited and helped out I realized just how much my mom has aged as she sat in her wheel chair and smiled, her youngest was home for a visit. We laughed, talked and sat quietly. She took a fall about a year ago and broke her leg in three places, a medal rod was put in place and every since that fall,her health has gone down hill rapidly. Her legs are wrapped because she is retaining fluid and her skin is splitting (she has congestive heart failure), she isn't able to stand for long period of times, can't wear shoes because her feet are so swollen and she cries because she can't do what she once did. My heart breaks to see her this way and it hurts me to know that time is running out and she could go at any time. Oh I wish I could have those days back when she was able to help me sew and bake, and where she would dance with me when an Elvis song came on. But I have had a wonderful 52 years with her, and I know she loved me from the day she conceived me. So while I was there visiting, we went through old photo's, played yatzee and even colored in the coloring books, I even took the sewing machine out and we did a little sewing.She laughed at me and with me, and when it was time for me to go she hugged me and we both cried. I wish time would allow me to have her longer but I know in time she will be called home. Our parents are a gift, just as they have seen having us as a gift. I am planning on a road trip before summer ends, because I want to spend as much time with my mom as I can. I hope if any of you have parents still living, take time to let them know how much you love them.

What a wonderful post! To spend the time with your mother the way you did, was priceless. The things you did together will be cherished by her and you now. But in the years to come, they will be memories that will make your heart sing. The greatest gift we can give our loved ones and ourselves is time. SimpleLaurie

That was lovely to read, I know how it feels. it must be even harder for you living so far away. I did not live that far from my mum, I spent all the time I could with her nearly everyday. when she passed I had no regrets just a lot of good memories, that were mine to keep. I still miss her a lot.x

Lovely post. Reminds me of the time I spent caring for my mum, before she died last July. her condition was much the same, fluid around the heart. We knew she was on borrowed time but she hung on for almost two years. Although I'd moved 90 miles away from her and my family, I visited every other week for at least a week each time to care for her and talk about old times.

Towards the end she had been in hospital for six months and during her last month I was asked if she should come home or go to a nursing home. I let mum decide, so she came home and I agreed to stay on while the care package was set in place, I ended up caring for her for 2 weeks non stop.

The care providers where horrendous, I can't believe what I witnessed, from almost over dose on medication to not respecting her dignity. The care manager even had a tantrum during an assessment, all because I had dived in the shower after the carers had been. I knew mum would be okay for ten minutes and as mum wasn't able to get up to answer the front door, so I quickly divided in the shower.

When I got out I could hear voices, so I quickly got dressed (still wet, no time to dry) to see who was down stairs. I found a care manager in the lounge and when I asked who she was and that we weren't expecting anyone, she went mental saying, "She didn't need an appointment" When I explained that it would have been helpful to know when someone was due, as mum was too frail & unsteady to answer he door. She threw the case notes across the room saying "She was ending the assessment" So I threw her out, as this was not fair on mum or me.

I doubt all are providers are the same, and maybe because I have worked in the care sector, I was expecting better service than what we got. You sound like me and would protect you mum to the end. Despite my siblings accusing me of doing the wrong thing in letting mum come home, and not stay in hospital. She had a good two weeks in her own home, with family, friends and district nurses she knew popping in, people she wouldn't have seen if she'd stayed in hospital before she died.

Cherish the time you have and had with your mum, my thoughts are with you.