Wednesday, January 25, 2012

What January 25th Means To Me: How You Found My Blog

Yes, kids! It's time for another edition of How You Found My Blog! For those who don't know how this works, an explanation/example can be found here, though essentially I just post how your random Google searches have lead you to my humble ramblings.

Here are this past week's favorites in no particular order.

Does Kate Middleton Have Jew Skin

Good question! Let's see.

Do you detect any Jew skin?

I think I see a...hmmmm

Look at the top right corner of her face..is that...

After careful consideration, she, I dunno, may or may not have Jew skin, whatever that is.
The blog gets a strange number of hits from Russia, and I'll safely assume that's where this search was generated from. Why? I dunno, why not? I'll also safely assume this person isn't thrilled by the prospect that Kate has some Jew blood, because if he/she was, the search probably would have been more like "OMG IS KATE JEWISH?????" Anyway, through my own research, the reason the question of Kate's background even exists is because her mother's maiden name is Goldsmith (pretttty Jew!) But apparently her side of the family is Christian, though perhaps there's a trace of Jew blood somewhere long down that line. So, rest easy, Russian searcher, her skin is not Jewish.

Old Condom Peeling Skin

Ooof. Someone needs to tell this guy that people don't carry condoms in their wallet anymore. Or...someone needs to tell this girl not to sleep with men who carry condoms in their wallet. Either way, this sounds like a problem I'd rather not have.

What Comes With The Wrap And Fruit

Well, if you're me, it's potatoes. Seriously though, do people assume Google exists solely to serve them? What was this person expecting to find? It seems like he has a restaurant and specific meal in mind, but wanted to know the third item he couldn't remember. So, instead of visiting that restaurant's website, he thought he'd use a generic search, accessing the World Wide Web, figuring it would tell him with no problems. If you're looking for an idea of what might be good with a wrap and fruit (potatoes!), you might want to phrase your search differently.

Peeling Skin How You Found My Blog

Ahhh! There's a term for this sort of thing, but fuck if I know what it is.