Does God speak? In the silence of the wilderness, in the shattering noise of a city street? What does it mean to wrestle with gender, and not accept the standard of just being gay? What does it mean to speak about that journey, accepting others, yet still be true to your own self?
This is my journey out of silence, out of the shadows of others, not afraid of my own voice, rather, listening to my Rabbi speak my name, giving me strength.

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

10 year anniversary

I've been a bit silent here...but have a moment so I thought I'd give
an encouraging word! This is my 10th anniversary of walking away from an
8 year gay relationship and almost 40 years of walking with same sex
attraction and now I'm walking in dependence of my Heavenly Father, my
brother Jesus and my advocate the Holy Spirit. It has been an amazingly
challenging walk. There have been ups and downs, and what I have grown
to realize is that no matter what is put in front of me, how tired I
am, how exhausted I feel I have a choice in how I walk out life with the
Lord. I've been reading in Colossians and in Chapter 3 it talks about a
taking off of the old self and putting on the new self. Its a work
that we are called to do on an on going basis. 3:10 says "Put on your new
nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like
Him."

We are exhorted to remember that since we have been
raised up in new life with Christ, we are to set our vision/gaze on the
realities of Heaven...not the things of earth. (human philosophies,
worldly views etc) We are hidden in Christ Jesus and we are to put
away, take off, put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking inside
us. We are called to do that...not someone else. It is a conscious decision on our part. Then I'm called to put on the new things...the realities of heaven. This means I'm mindful of my walk and how I respond and react and live day by day.

The greatest news is that none of us can do this work on
our own. The gift of God's incredible grace poured out on us through
the work of Jesus on the cross and in his resurrection, and our
dependence on the Power of the Holy Spirit gives us the ability to
listen to the Lord. To believe that God has got our stuff, and He will
accomplish the work that He is intending to complete in us.

In
our weakness His strength is perfected. As I thought of that I had a
vision of myself with cracks and places where I am desperately
weak...(ya I'm utterly weak and will boast in this place!) and then the
power of God comes into me when I trust him with my life and the
situation that I am facing. (even prepping a sermon, I cry out to him
knowing that I can't do it in my strength and power) As He empowers and
fills me...light rays shoot out of me and people see the glorious work
and power of God...He gets all the credit as He shows himself...which
is a relief and a blessing.

Brothers and sisters, don't tire of
doing good. Be still and know that the one true God who imagined you,
formed you and knows you more than you yourself know you...is
affectionate toward you. He will accomplish the work, trust Him with
every part of your life...all the weak places, all the areas yet to be
uncovered. He loves you with an extravagant and unrelenting love.

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About Me

My wife and I are learning from others that living ideally in a close knit community, reaching out to others and being debt free are important. Sharing stories and inspiring people to be the best that they can be. We enjoy music, poetic lyrics and art.
Art and words (spoken), any way you look at it, is an expression of someone's inner workings, what is actually being brought out into the light of day, either on canvas or on paper. We enjoy moments of self reflection as we pick up a pencil, paint brush or camera. It is actually liberating to turn the TV off and walk into creation...and get your hands dirty.