Meet Lish McBride’s Gnome Army (& Necromancer giveaway!)

If you’re a fan of the hilarious urban fantasies Hold Me Closer, Necromancer and the recently released Necromancing the Stone, you know Sam LaCroix is experiencing some household pains as he adjusts to his inherited army of mischievous gnomes. You’ve probably also noticed that author Lish McBride’s bio claims that she’s been quietly assembling her own gnome army for some time now.

We were mightily intrigued by this idea. As part of the official Necromancing the Stone Blog Tour, we challenged Lish to share photographic evidence of her minions, as well as some insights into their sneaky behavior.

~ Wendy

P.S. Lish has confirmed, by the way, that there WILL be a third Necromancer book! It is planned for release sometime after her next two books are out. Stay tuned for more news.

Lish McBride Guest Post

Gnomes.

They are a mysterious bunch. They might seem shy at first—standoffish, even—but once you gain their trust, you will discover that they are a loud, proud, and slightly insane, warrior race.

Today I will present you with some photos that I took at great personal risk. We will see gnomes in their natural habitat and perhaps we will learn a little about these strange and tiny creatures.

Here we see a gnome who has tamed the wild snail! Tally ho, my warrior friend, and good hunting! (You might note that the gnome appears to be hailing us. This is not a friendly gesture. The gnome is most likely distracting you while a second gnome steals your wallet and lights your pants’ cuff on fire.)

Gnomes are constantly honing their skills in order to become greater warriors. These gnomes are working on their rapelling techniques. Nothing is more terrifying than a gnome aerial assault. No doubt they are chanting one of their favorite mottos, which is, “Death from above!”

This photo shows a clever decoy created by the gnomes themselves. Some scientists speculate that the gnomes use them for battle practice. Others postulate that they are for practical joke purposes. I think the gnomes use them for both. Underneath the gnome decoy, you will also see a white knitted kitten. That the gnomes created the kitten I believe shows that they are capable of whimsy.

This gnome is either back from battle, or just fell into a mud puddle. Either way I suggest that you do not approach.

Gnomes like to cash in on their adorable appearance. This particular gnome is taking it a step further and using a basket of flowers to disguise the haul of weapons that he is carrying.

Despite the traditional red hat and bright clothing, gnomes are quite adept at blending into their surroundings. I didn’t spot this little bugger until he bit my ankle.

Though not a lot is known about the gnome’s religious life, these statues are commonly erected for particularly respected warriors. Gnomes are known to leave offerings of jam, root beer, and Chuck Norris DVDs at the base of the statues out of respect.

After seeing the expression on this gnomes face, I quickly left the area. Moving on…

Unless you know the gnome well, never take anything it offers you. Gnomes are notorious practical jokers. When they aren’t trying to break your kneecaps, they’re filling your pants with itching powder. So while this gnome appears innocuous, it is best to err on the safe side.

And finally we see a gnome at rest. How peaceful he looks! (He also probably sleeps with a knife, as is their custom.)

Lish McBride was raised by wolves in the Pacific Northwest. It rains a lot there, but she likes it anyway. She enjoys reading, movies, comics, and preparing herself for the inevitable zombie apocalypse. Currently, Lish lives happily in Seattle where the weather never actually tries to kill you, with her family, two cats, and one very put-upon Chihuahua. She is slowly building her garden gnome army.

Our thanks to Lish McBride for sharing her gnome findings and for providing the photographs for this post!Since our last giveaway for the sequel was so popular, we’re now giving away a prize pack that includes both the Hold Me Closer, Necromancer paperback as well as a Necromancing the Stone hardcover. This is the perfect opportunity to scoop up both books if you haven’t had a chance to try out the series yet!

Thanks to our friends at Henry Holt, this offer is open to U.S. and Canadian residents aged 18 and over. All you have to do is fill out the Rafflecopter form and tell us below what YOU would do with your own gnome army.

I remember reading a big book about gnomes that was popular when I was in 5th grade–they were a real thing then. I would love to have an army of them to help out with the yard work. I would totally assign them the task of eradicating our Japanese beetle infestation.

My own personal gnome army would definitely take care of my plants for me. Though I’ve always loved the idea of having a garden, I seem to have no green thumb whatsoever… so I’d entrust the plants to my gnomes in the hopes that a few less deaths would occur under my (er, their) watch. :P

And I adored Hold Me Closer, Necromancer — so glad to hear there’s a sequel!

My personal gnome army would definitely take care of my plants for me. I love the idea of having a garden… but I seem to have no green thumb whatsoever. So to spare all those poor plants from dying, I’d task my gnomes to look after them.

And I adored Hold Me Closer, Necromancer — so glad to hear there’s a sequel!

Hee! This is such a fun post, I never really put much thought into gnomes but an army of them does seem quite handy. I read the first book and enjoyed it well enough so I’m curious about the next. Not entering the giveaway btw, just going to wait to see if my library gets it. :D

Well who knew that gnomes liked Chuck Norris and beer. ThatbTravelocity gnome has got nothing over these adventurous gnomes. I am moving this series up because hey gnomes are different as long as they don’t jump out from under the bed and bite my ankle and two Lish is a fellow NW neighbor. So that makes her a-okay in my book!

Oh no! Maybe try entering again sometime, Andrea? The contest ends in just under two weeks. The entries have been a little slower than usual the past couple of days, though, I wonder if other people are having this problem, too.

I received a copy of Necromancing the Stone and have been meaning to read the first one. Gnomes are interesting creatures, and I began to adore them in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. I always wanted to degnome my garden. Having an army of gnomes is such an odd and exciting prospect. I really need to get on this series to fulfill such a fantasy.

I think they prefer to be outside so I’d set them to work dreaming up games to play with my dog. Nothing too exciting that would make him bark a lot. Just some basic hide and seek stuff to keep him exercised and alert.

This post is awesome!! If I had a gnome army I would use it to get rid of all the stray neighborhood cats. Seriously, they pee and defecate all over my lawn. These books sound really great. I have been wanting to read them.

I don’t know what I would do with my gnome army – but I like the idea of using them to do my household chores so I could do other (more fun) things. I haven’t read either of these books yet, but they’ve been on my wishlist forever! Thanks for the awesome giveaway!

I’d use my gnome army to keep my wayward and precocious preschooler in line. No more telling me what she’s too big for anymore (or still too little for, if the situation warrants)! No more arguing over the dinner table. No more arguing at bathtime. And for the love of all that’s holy . . . no more arguing at bedtime!!!

I’d use my gnome army to keep my wayward and precocious preschooler in line. No more telling me what she’s too big for anymore (or still too little for, if the situation warrants)! No more arguing over the dinner table. No more arguing at bathtime. And for the love of all that’s holy . . . no more arguing at bedtime!!!

haha! I love this guest post. “Gnomes like to cash in on their adorable appearance. This particular gnome is taking it a step further and using a basket of flowers to disguise the haul of weapons that he is carrying.” I’ve always found gnomes to be a bit freaky…so I completely agree with the above statement. HMCN was awesome so I can’t wait to get my hands on this one!

Ever since I was little, things like gnomes and dolls always scared me :( so I’m sorry to say that gnomes kind of creep me out.. I don’t know why! But there are tons of possibilities with a gnome army! But I loved Hold Me Closer, Necromancer. It’s one of my favourite books, and I’ve been waiting for months for Necromancing the Stone! So excited, I would love to get a copy of it! :)

A lot of dolls still scare me, too! They’re tiny, blank-faced…people. I’ve never heard of a gnome fear, but judging by some of the comments here, you’re not alone in that, Nicole. At least you have more insight into their behavior now. ;)

Since I’m not very aggressive, I’d probably just use my gnome army to do all the chores I’d rather pass on, giving me more reading time. Of course, slavery is wrong, so they would in turn rebel and murder me, unless my cats manged to defeat them.

Probably I’m better off just ignoring the chores. I dearly loved Hold me Closer, so I’m really looking forward to this one. And I’m very excited to hear a third is planned. AS well as other books.

Hah hah, cats vs. gnomes would be a sight to behold indeed. I was excited to hear confirmation of the third book in this series (and more), too! I tried to get Lish to dish on what all these entailed, but she wouldn’t budge. ;)