As I often remind anyone who will listen, I don’t shop at Wal-Mart – an anniversary that’s eight years in the making. And though that’s my most vocal boycott, it’s not the only. If someone wrongs me to a certain extent, I’m done giving them business. And that’s the end of it. I’m a Taurus, this bitch can hold a grudge.

To date, that means Wal-Mart, a series of local gas stations, and that might be it. Except for Frontier, the airline that’s cheap for a reason. Those a-holes cab burn and die.

The first two listings have been around since the mid-00s, which also means that for the past 7ish years, only one company has pissed me off. At least to the point of no return. So congrats to everyone on that, it’s quite the accomplishment. Especially since I’m kind of rude and expect great things out of you. I’m a consumer who wants what I pay for. I’m not needy, nor do I expect things without reason. But when something goes wrong, you bet your ass you’re gonna hear bout it.

The New Kid in Town

And I wish I could leave it at that. That no one had made me angry. But alas, that is not the case. Last week, a new company joined the ranks of fallen comrades. And its name is Best Buy. The electronics mogul who can swerve to infinity degrees.

Here’s the skinny:

First, I bought a new computer from them. They were quite sure I’d need a new license for Word ($140), so I bought that too. The shopping location is a solid 20-minute drive from my at-the-time apartment. As I’m parking, they call and need me to return on account of them having “not completed the transaction.

I (nicely) told them there was no way in hell that was happening, and I’d return at a later date. But because it was a weird situation, I wanted to be extra sure it would go smoothly. They said sure, that it’d be the smoothest thing that’s ever happened.

The next day I went to 1) return the license of Word that I definitely didn’t need and 2) to “complete the transaction.” No one knew what I was talking about on either account. And I was told, repeatedly, that Word was free. “It comes with your purchase,” he told me. Fifteen minutes and infinite amounts of shade later, I got my refund.

Next, I purchased a modem/router from them. I told the guy what I needed, who my Internet provider was, and when my start-date was. (For return purposes.) A week and no-Internet later, I learned they had steered me wrong. It was the wrong type of router.

So I returned it. Got what I needed (and not the $100 extra purchase that a different guy tried to sell me). Only it wouldn’t let the Internet work either. After 45 minutes on the phone with a foreign man, turns out they’d sold me a dud. A non-working, expensive dud, which had to be returned – this time, a 45-minute drive away, on account of the fact that I moved. Was it their fault it didn’t work? No. But back-to-back fails are no coincidence, methinks.

Three experiences in one month, not one of which was good. No thanks, Best Buy. I gave you all the chances. And you failed me. If we were going off to battle, I’d demote you and knight the next warrior. If you were my son, I’d disown you and strip you of the family name; I’m that disappointed.

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