France Makes it Possible to Literally Shop for A Boyfriend Online, Discount For Gingers

While I’m unclear as to how anyone could stoop so low in life to need to resort to online dating, I’ve decided that if you must date online, do it in France.

The French online dating website “AdoptUnMec.com” (which means “Adopt a Guy”) has recently sparked up some controversy by treating their online dating service less like a place where digital sparks can fly and more like an online shopping experience. That’s right: women can be as superficial as they please, and browse for dates strictly on appearance. The website proudly boasts that there is a “Special on Carrot-Tops.” Well, duh. There better be. Unless said redhead is my favorite ginger Prince Harry, why the hell should anyone pay full price? People are getting all upset about this concept, saying that if the tables were turned, everyone would freak out about women being objectified. Okay, hi, newsflash, I studied abroad, and there is a place where the tables are turned: the Redlight District in Amsterdam. And also, women have been objectified for centuries, so why is it a problem that the tables are turned now? It’s all in good spirit, so get over it.

As if allowing girls to browse for their latest hook up buddy by appearance online wasn’t enough, the website has gone so far as to host various “pop up shops” in city locations. Now, I know, we’re all thinking, “How the hell do you have a pop up shop with people?” Answer: the men stand in life-size Ken doll box replicas with nicknames on the front such as “Mr. Muscles” and “The Rocker.”

I’m all for the objectifying of men. Let’s face it. Men are stupid, easily manipulated human beings who essentially have the upkeep requirements of a small child/puppy. As long as you feed them (and have sex with them, which you do not do with children/puppies), they are easy to keep occupied/happy. And it’s total BS to assume that all guys look for is personality in a girl. Essentially, this website has figured out how to take the guess work out of the bar scene- all the single hot ones are put in boxes where everyone can decide over them.

I guess this really gives a new definition to the term “Man Candy.” And I love that.