These are but a few of the methods of attaining Televangelical
Gnosis; free "gifts" from the "Holy Ghost".

In this rite, we attempt to utilize these fundamentalist dynamics to
temporarily suspend our disbelief, and direct our will without lust for
results, into the virtual certainty of the Televangelists ability to
transmit the sigil directly into the vortex of the "Holy Spirit".

Rite of Televangelical Gnosis:

Create sigilized monogram of desire.

Turn on PTL (Opening)

Declaration of S.O.I.

Place sigil on opaque paper over TV screen, allowing for at least
partial viewing of the program.

Attain gnosis (using any combination of the methods mentioned above)
but consider the possibility of gnosis attained through total self disgust
and humiliation for allowing yourself to be watching the Xtian spectacle
of disgust.

Become disgusted with the complete tackiness and total lack of dignity
and self respect that Xtians invariably suffer from. (highly recommended)

Become sexually aroused at the thought of this absurdity.
(at this time "Phone Sex" with the online televangelical operators is
recommended as an additional link, but is not entirely necessary).
Otherwise this may be an appropriate opportunity for an auto-erotic
pathworking involving such fantasies as:

Imagine having sex with the lady with the big purple hair and
ultra-long fake eyelashes.

Imagine having sex with Jimmy Baker/Swaggart-types with sweaty palms
and booze on their breath.

Any kinky combination of the above. (use your imagination)

As the preacher requests/demands the "Love Seed", or "Gift of Love",
"Love Sacrifice" ($$$), etc., Attain Vacuity (by whatever means available)
and annoint the sigil and the TV screen with your sexual/bodily fluids.
Just wait for the inevitable: "Right Now", "Right Now"! (The Televangelist
will chant this with a Deep Southern Accent). The act of annointing the
sigil and television may be the result of a direct climax, focused on the
screen. Visualize/focus on your uttermost contempt for Xtianity as you
immerse the screen in bodily fluids. Keep in mind the "Preatures" advice
involving large "Love Seeds" for large desires. (aside from the direct
linkage to the ritual itself, this "offering" serves to cirCUMvent the
"spirit" of the Xtian paradigm).

Note: The preacher needs your "Love Seed/Gift" in order to transmit your
sigil to "Heaven"(where the Almighty resides, waiting for "Judgement Day").
Rather than giving the "Seed" or "Egg" in love for Xtianity, you may feel
inclined to offer it in utter contempt for the Xtian paradigm, as an
excercise in good taste. This desecration of the Xtian paradigm (depending
on the rigidity of your pre-existing belief structures) may serve to
greatly enhance the power of the enchantment itself.

"All prayer dissapates without an intermediary or carrier. Gods, soul and
the psycho-substantive seem to respond only through the mind by
in-direction and hetero-suggestion: this is the secret way through many
barriers."