Bicycle.Punk Rock.Action

Hey Hurl can your bike shop in the back corner of ...

Hey Hurl can your bike shop in the back corner of CRC seal up all the tubes on my bike airtight? What I wanna do is figure out how many cubic feet of helium gas it would take to lift a bike of the ground, and then pump that much in under pressure into the sealed frame tubes. That way I could have a racing bike that weighed virtually nothing? can you do this for me?