Sensitivity lacks in these stacks of wax

I like the old songs, I really do. But word meanings and contexts have a way of changing over time, and some are so politically incorrect today, they strike sour notes to sensitive ears.

Sing along:

1. “Born on a mountaintop in Tennessee, greenest state in the land of the free, raised in the woods so’s he knew every tree, kilt him a b’ar when he was only 3. Davy — Davy Crockett — king of the wild frontier.” (Yee-hah! You sure raised up one son-of-a-gun of a kid, Mrs. C. Heared tell he brought down that big old bruin with a single shot. Got even better when he turned 5 and his daddy bought him that AK-47. Time he was 8, had his own trophy room and quit first grade so’s he could keep it stocked …)

2. “Frankie and Johnny were lovers. Oh, Lordy, how they could love! They swore to be true to each other, just as true as the stars above …” (So, OK, same-sex marriage is legal some places, what about it?) “He was her man, but he done her wrong.” (Wait a second, Frankie’s a gal? I guess he did do her wrong) … “Frankie drew back her kimono, she took out her big .44, root-a-toot-toot, three times she did shoot right through that hardwood door. She shot her man ’cause he done her wrong.”(So? A lady can’t carry a Magnum for protection like everybody else? But what about the Second Amendment, and women’s right to be in combat?)

3. “Drinkin’ beer in a cabaret and was I havin’ fun, ’til one night she caught me right and now I’m on the run. Lay that pistol down, babe, lay that pistol down, pistol-packin’ mama, lay that pistol down. She kicked out my windshield and she hit me over the head. She cussed and cried and said I lied and wished that I was dead … Drinkin’ beer in a cabaret and dancin’ with a blonde, ’til one night she shot out the lights, and bang, that blonde was gone.” (Mercy! Let’s see, beer, blonde babe, flight from prosecution, pistol-packing, property damage, profanity, prevarication, assault and battery, shooting and first-degree murder, all in one little tune. Not exactly “Moonlight and Roses.”)

4. “I dim all the lights and I sink in my chair. The smoke from my cigarette climbs through the air. The walls of my room fade away in the blue, and I‘m deep in a dream of you … Then from the ceiling, sweet music comes stealing, we glide through a lover’s refrain, you’re so appealing that I’m soon revealing my love for you over again. My cigarette burns me, I wake with a start…” (Wait a second, dude, you’re sound asleep, dreaming, and still have a burning butt in your hand? You never heard of the fire laws? Or the Surgeon General’s report on the dangers of smoking?)

5. “Well, twirl my turban, man alive, here comes Mister 5 by 5. He’s one of those big fat bouncing boys, solid avoirdupois. Mister 5 by 5, he’s 5 feet tall and he’s 5 feet wide. He don’t measure no more from head to toe than he do from side to side.” (Bad enough to mock Middle Eastern dress, but isn’t obesity one of this nation’s most serious health problems?)

I had meant to conclude this with some examples from modern songs, but I couldn’t, for two reasons: (1) lack of space and (2) the fact that so many of the newer ones go well beyond mere political incorrectness into downright sleaze and simply can’t be repeated in a family newspaper.