Date: Thu, 6 Nov 1997 21:58:29 EST
From: the hand of edsel bertha
Subject: EXERCISE: The Moms' Club
[did they really say...no, you must have gotten confused, trying to
speedread through the mail...but wouldn't it be funny if...okay, let's
do it!]
Let's see...maybe start with something like:
The engraved invitation letter was a surprise, and the message
was even odder:
Dear Mrs. Smythe:
You may have wondered why other mothers know just the
right ways to get under their children's skins, the best ways
to make them regret leaving home, the absolutely perfect
phrases for making them explode.
You don't have to wonder any more.
Those other mothers are part of our club. And now,
with this invitation, you too can become one of "The Best
Moms."
We'll send you "Moms' Little Secrets" -- our weekly
listing of hints and helps to keep your children on their
toes. You can attend our training in telephone torture. And
once a year, you'll have a chance to win in our contest "Just
a Little Advice from A Mother."
Remember, "Mother Knows Best."
Well, something like that.
Anyway, the notion is to start by assuming that there really is a
conspiracy of Moms. Somewhere that they learn how to time phone calls
for maximum aggravation, how to ask if something is wrong (with that
little twist that insists that something must be wrong, and how dare
you keep it from your loving mother...and now that you're screaming
that nothing is wrong, we can go on to fight about just why you got so
upset with your mom asking if everything was alright?) Somewhere to
get training in being the perfect goad...
Put that club together (is it weekly? meetings? newsletter? maybe
dues? how about drops of blood and initiation rituals?)
Then you need to write up the story--of the new member? or maybe of
the children discovering the club? what about when Dad finds out how
Mom spends her time? Or maybe even what happens when good moms go
bad?
Have fun--and write!
tink