Living the Moment | Living My Purpose

BETTER OVER BITTER: When a self- proclaimed fairytale became a worst nightmare

There’s time for everything. No one would disagree with this. A time to be born, time to be educated, time to build friendship, time to experience the thing called LOVE and even death has its own time. Though this reality exists, at some point, we experience the hardship in accepting another reality in life that is entwined with time. That is, not all things that happen in due time will turn out favorable to us especially when it comes to a RELATIONSHIP.

No one ever wants to think that in the middle of genuine and wonderful relationship, it will one day end. But the sad fact is that it often does. And when it does, the emotions that the break up can lead to are the exact opposite of how enjoyable relationship made you feel. This experience can throw you into the depth of misery and this worst thing goes with quite long time.

“I’ve played my part as his partner but why did he chose to break my heart?” “What’s wrong with us?” “Would this separation resolve everything?” “Is this really for my welfare?” These were some of the questions I unconsciously utter as I watch him fades and as our love story slowly dies. The person who made me feels special and who taught me that problems won’t reign if someone will always make me feel great in every ticking of clock’s hand is the same person who failed to make our relationship work and last. Different emotions-negative ones- dominated my whole being as if they’ll last for a lifetime. Those emotions overpowered the reason. Pain becomes unbearable and indescribable. Bitterness and hatred started to take their thrones. Every night of each passing day, tears ran down uncontrollably and found myself holding on the memories we’ve once shared and on the single chance that a bridge can be built for us to be reunited. That time, I was completely distracted and devastated. These were my experiences after my self-proclaimed fairytale became my worst nightmare.

A broken relationship leaves scars behind. Oftentimes, it leaves you with an ability to never trust again and worst makes you forget of yourself totally. Nevertheless, being in this situation gives you the chance to choose between being bitter and hate the person OR continuously love the person though you’re not on the same page anymore and accept the fact that it’s OVER. Choosing to stay bitter is finding yourself eager to prove to that Someone that you’re better off without him. All his failures and waterloos capture your attention. Things you do are much of revenge. On the other side of the coin, choosing to wholeheartedly accept that it’s over is the same as believing that God let it happen for a reason. Being

Bitter is inescapable. However, staying there for long is unhealthy. “It’s okay to feel pain you must savor it, cry”, my best friend once said. “But after it, you must DETACH from it”, she added. It’s Okay to cry. Crying is cleansing. Her statements served as an eye-opener for me to savor the pain. Also, it’s a challenge to prepare myself to be acquainted with other emotions waiting to be felt. Given a little bit of time here on this earth, there’s no sense walking around having grudges in my heart. So, I did what’s best for me- to separate myself from negative vibes and gain happiness and contentment from all the things that still remain. Allowing myself to experience all the bitterness and choosing to be bitter made me a better, fierce and fiery lady. Thanks to that Someone and for that nightmare.

Though letting go is dramatically painful, it is something all brokenhearted ones- like me before- need to deal with. You don’t have to forget about it rather learn from it. Trust again though you’re badly wounded by someone. Fall in love again, or simply, enjoy being single. There’s no other solution in letting go of a relationship than to find yourself again, find the real you. It’s time to look in a new perspective, asking “what really matters to me?”