Big ups to Microsoft, for pushing out a Windows 10 update and improving it from a spyware-ridden liability with some of the worst programming you'll ever see in an operating system, to a liability that is looking pretty good. Not to damn with faint praise, but it's nice to see that Microsoft decided to fix one of their 10^313 issues and improve the emoji, which makes my very first BUAFY look like an outdated pile of shit now. Also, big ups to me for lasting three months in this digital wasteland. I'm a top 100 blog in just 100 days - and not to HONK! my own horn, but I think that's pretty cool, too. Oh, right, about the emoji. It's great with an eight, mate, as well at the default highlight colour being a suitably darker shade of my soul. Not much to say, so look at them yourself.

Fuck you to Norton Antivirus, for being one of the most overprotective and annoying pieces of software I ever had to suffer through. In keeping with the trend of making software idiot-proof and therefore only able to be used after drinking three shots of absinthe and becoming thoroughly idiotic, as any sort of logical menu option like "check virus vault" would be too fucking good for Norton, you have to go through the history menu and wade through a bunch of unrealed bullshit (and indeed there is a lot of it) in order to find what might possibly be the virus you're looking for. The virus in this case would be the latest version of BYOND, even though any reasonable antivirus would understand that it's a game engine and not a codeword for a NSA-CIA-SIGINT-TOPSECRET collaborative rootkit short for "Buy Your Own Nuked Disk" (or "Bite Your Old Nude Dick). The interesting thing about Norton is that I don't think it's ever detected anything that was actually a virus. Is Common Sense 2016 doing its job for it, or am I just incredibly lucky?

Big ups to the Art Spiegelman book MetaMaus - a hidden gem and companion piece to the often-appreciated graphic novel Maus. Calling the easy joke of Spiegelman being a furry is too disrespectful to the man, so put your paws on your mouth. While Maus was the book which we collectively all needed in our lives, a reminder of the horrors of the Holocaust drenched in symbolism and through the viewpoint of a single man who had to live through it, MetaMaus is the book that nobody looked at and instead tells us about the thought process of one very experienced and somewhat boring comic book artist. It details the composition of his art, the state of comic books in general, how furries funny animals got to be known in comics and how his art exploits that, why the Holocaust was a bit messy (can be safely skipped - Froge), and the overall perception of comic books as they stand today and how they stood back when Maus was published. There's one bit in there where he describes a Nazi who hangs a poster of Maus on his wall because all other swastikas are banned in Germany, and I think that describes pretty much the sum of what the book is getting at - the cultural impact of this book he made way back in the 80s (in the weird period when funny animals weren't in vogue anymore, being made by crazy people) being so big as to affect everything that came after it. It's a damn interesting book, and one I recommend if you find it at your public library or something.

Fuck you to Git, for having one of the most mind-boggingly retarded designs I have ever seen. Yes, I did bitch about GitHub's thing two days ago, but that doesn't make what I'm saying any less valid. The first mention goes to the revert function, which is set up where if you accidentally commit a change to master insted of a branch, you have to throw the entire project out and install a fresh copy. Git doesn't let you revert it, because that creates another commit. Imagine if every single time you pressed "undo" in a text editor, it showed a log on the side featuring every single time you pressed undo, as well as a log of the thing you wanted to undo. That's Git for you - it doesn't let your mistakes lie, because whatever you publish, even on accident, you can't get rid of. The second issue is that the whole "tree model" is needlessly unintuitive, making me thing that Torvalds was high off his ass when he designed the thing. As opposed to making changes directly to a project like you would with Wikipedia, everybody instead gets copies of the project, and unless they make a branch to isolate their changes in, every single edit they make along the way gets pushed into the master project copy. This would be like if you had a copy of two Wikipedia pages, and you edited them both so one contains dicks and the other contains some of the most brilliant information you've ever seen in your life, you'd have to reject both the pages because one of them is fucked. And you can't change the one that's fucked, because Git will show a massive commit log making the Wikipedia community think you're retarded for putting dicks everywhere. Rather than make this paragraph longer than it needs to be, finish off by reading the XKCD wiki and understand that reverting a commit should not be harder than pushing a fucking button.

Big ups to Civilopedia, the Civilisation Five reference for all things history, presented in a context which will make you want to fuck Brazil up even more than you already have. The goal of the Civilopedia is simple: provide background information on the real-world equivalents of the units and buildings that you control in the game, and the purpose of being a distraction from a boring social event is incidental. Their prose is simple, though informative, and provides a better overview of the history of the thing you're researching than even the Wikipedia summary can provide. For instance, you can learn that Pedro II was actually a really good leader, and that Brazil likes him a lot. That won't stop me from nuking your city for STEALING MY LAND YOU CUNT.

Fuck you to /r/BlackPeopleTwitter, for being representative of one of the cancers plaguing our media culture: a series of temporary memes obsessing over popular culture with only a cursory nod to politics and education without bothering to express why these topics are important. I understand that this type of LCD bullshit is beneath me, though it's because of this that I have almost nothing wrong in my life, and sometimes I have to take a piss on the easy targets just to write something sensible (that easy target? Albert Einstein). Regardless of what may or may not be stereotyping of black youth, I simply find this type of content to be a distraction to the real work of producing content that doesn't rely on appealing to the throes of stupid people willing to consume this intellectual junk food, providing them nothing of lifelong substance while instead making them rely on an emotional high to make them feel good about themselves. Whether the high is from being popular, or consuming popular media that aims for the obvious laugh, there is nothing of value to find in a culture as vapid as the Black Twitter shown on this subreddit, and I encourage you to look at it to see ways on how you shouldn't act if you want to be a decent human being. Incidentally, the /r/blacktwitter page is bloody hilarious, though if only because of the stereotype thing.

Big ups to ShakespeareHemmingway, for being one of the most batshit insane authors I have ever seen - and I was just looking at Conservapedia. But while that project is an unhealthy power fantasy run by fundies with an almost erotic obsession with bashing Obama, this project is a much healthier power fantasy of having Garfield go big and tear shit the fuck up. Behold such timeless classics as "Garfield: Royal Rescue, "High School Garfield", and "Garfield Effect: Galaxy Adventure" (29,000 words what the fuck). By all practical rights, this literature has none to exist. It is fortunate we are all very stupid humans and we do things out of fun and not practicality, leading to such brilliant scenes as Garfield deflecting the lasers off of Big Ben with his muscles right before being crowned Duke of Ireland. Yes.

Fuck you to GitHub Desktop, for being a program made by a company which hosts open-source projects without itself being open-source. You fucking what mate? You claim the proud position of being the go-to spot for neckbeards who want to get a good slice of that freedom pie, and you disrespect them by giving them a piece of the proprietary bullshit pile? I think this is a bigger misappropiation of your audience than when that horse show thought it was for little girls but was instead for neckbeards who wanted a good slice of that horseshit pie. I'm wondering what GitHub is so afraid of - that we're going to steal the source code for a decade-old program made by the inventor of Linux? That we might undercut them as the definitive place for open-source content? Tough bloody job, seeing as they're doing that themselves!

Big ups to Jim Sterling's review of Final Fantasy 13, which is one of the most objectively unbiased reviews of any video game, and indeed any piece of media, I have ever seen. When it comes to opinions, having one is a bad thing. Nobody deserves to feel upset or afraid or like they're going to slice their wrists open with a cheese grater just because somebody doesn't like what they like. If a person posts what they think on the Web, that is entirely their fault, and the commenters aren't responsible for anything they post because they aren't being paid to post it. There is no point in reviewing a game, because somebody else will like it, and that makes every criticism invalid, and everybody who criticises it should be held personally responsible, and barred from ever saying a negative thing about a game ever again. Then we would enter a golden period of artistic freedom, where Final Fantasy will not just the gold standard, but the only standard, making such masterpieces as the Call of Duty, Legend of Zelda, and Assassins Creed series even look pale in comparison to the almost immortal artistic vision of Final Fantasy 13. May every game be blessed with linear corridors, unimaginative setpieces, repetitive combat, cliched characters, and a nonsense story - because that's what the Internet wanted.

Fuck you to my VPN client, which has dissolved into a state of quantum mechanics where it is either connected or disconnected unless observed by pulling up the "network settings" window, at which point the quantum uncertainty shatters and it finally connects. This is such an oddly specific bug that I have no idea why it should exist. Is it simply taking every opportunity to slack off, and has to be looked at in order to get back to work? Is it afraid that I'll pull the plug if it doesn't do what it's supposed to, and as such decides to preserve its own life? Is it just fucking with me? Whatever the case, all I can do is pray it doesn't short out while I'm looking at something embarassing like a pair of great tits, because then the moral police will be on my tail ready to fuck me any which way. And then the tits will be sad.

Big ups to Ricochet, a handy little Torified web app, even though Torified sounds like a medical procedure. It's fantastic for a few reasons, and I'm not trying to sound like a real estate agent when I say that there's a lot going for it. The whole draw of it is that it's supposedly private, and that there's nothing to snoop on. The messages are spoonfed through Tor, there's no identifying information between any party, the user addresses are disposable, the chat logs are nuked whenever you close it, and it's an open source project with no central overseer and so doesn't have anybody to manipulate the program. And when you get past the privacy and understand that it is dead simple to use, having a simple interface and no hassles, then you might like it as your default chat app between two parties. Of course, they have to actually bother to download the thing - but if they can't do that, they probably aren't working hard enough for you.

Fuck you to the collective alarm clock manufactureres coalition (though I don't know if this is a thing) which propels a conspiracy to make alarm clocks are poorly designed as possible. We must look at the aspects of such an alarm clock and understand what makes it poor. The first instance is the lighting - it is typically red, as opposed to a less intrusive colour like white, and as such is a distraction when trying to sleep (though the programming to dim the thing when it detects a shadow would cost thirty cents). The alarm is loud, so it's functional, though it is shocking to the system to hear it be loud all at once instead of slowly fading in. The buttons are mushy, and the interface is designed so that it is both faster to press the buttons to change the time instead of holding them, and is also able to reset the alarm by pressing two buttons down but not reset the time in the same fashion. I find this coalition of bad design to be honest, and I expect the government to break it up like they did with the Soviet Union - oh wait.

Big ups to websites and web shows which keep a consistent schedule, so that all of your fans may know exactly when you flock to your site and partake in its bounty. I'm talking about shows like Zero Punctuation which update every Wednesday, sites like Stallman's blog, which updates every day, and sites like my blog, which updates every night, with fresh new content just for you. The benefits of which are obvious, namely, it shows that you're responsible enough to keep a set schedule, that you care about your users in doing so, and that you're able to create enough content to justify having a schedule. I feel like this is some praise that your grandfather would give you because it is so simple, but as we have learned many times before, the simplest dick is the most solid dick.

Fuck you to websites which ban proxies, as the banning of such tends to be misguided and based on fear and not a respect for privacy. These sites include most private torrent trackers, Wikipedia, an online spamming service, BYOND, and even 4chan. Any sort of policy or rule that says a user has to bare their real IP address in order to use your service is a bit of a filter - namely, it filters out anybody who's smart enough to use your bloody service (4chan notwithstanding). I can understand that some people will use proxies for nefarious purposes, though that's like saying that we should ban Tor because some people will use it to look at illegal porn. People who want to be nefarious will do so regardless, and we cannot punish innocent people for caring about themselves.

Big ups to me - yes me, you silly nerd! Big ups to me for learning to unplug the Ethernet and get done what I always wanted to - organisation and compression of all my files, nuking the music I didn't find entertaining, properly compressing my video files, making the most out of this dilapidated, janky-ass piece of spaghetti on meatballs platter I call a hard drive. It's astounding to think that just by removing the Web from your life for just one day, you be cast all your worries aside and check some things off your to-do list and look towards the future. Now I know what you're thinking - "congratulating yourself, are we Froge? Why, you'd almost think this was a BLOG OR SOMETHING". No need to yell, because you're correct. It is indeed a blog, and though I create it in service of you, it is also a convenient place for me to celebrate all that I find virtuous. That, and I wasn't exposed to anything else worthy of my praise. Oh, well. There's always tomorrow.

Fuck you to this particularily annoying bit of design on my watch, which is a bit overdue and a little pathetic and whatever other diminuitive words you wish to slice and dice. I have the terrorist watch you see, the one that costs $20 and what Osams Bin Laden wore on his deathbed - so blame the manufacturer for making a quality product. The naggling issue on this particular model is that one of the buttons is recessed instead of jutting out, meaning I have to jam my fingernail in there just to change the time or set an alarm. I assure you that once you have had cold metal inserted under your fingernail, you will never want to feel that experience again. I guess it lives up to its name - it sure as all hell terrorises me. hahahahahahahaha

Big ups to SomecallmeJohnny, for being an actual rational review who doesn't focus on gimmicks and flash so much as he does simply reviewing a bloody game. I barely know a thing about him, baby, so why am I pimping the whore out when I don't even know his name? Because you can tell at an instant whether or not you'll be a fan of somebody within the first two minutes of their review, and what they want to focus on - especially if you poke around and skip to arbitrary sections of his video. Johnny here decided to focus on the connection between Star Fox 64 and its context within Nintendo hardware in addition to its purpose in rebooting the series for the sake of hardware. Along the way he focuses on the little niggles, the good times, as naturally as it comes without being forced into a structure. The editing is smooth, giving a lot of examples, and he talks fast enough so it isn't a waste of time to listen to him. When I see somebody chill like him popping around YouTube, I'm sitting here wondering why the site is giving me garbage like "TOP 10 SEXIEST ATHLETES AT THE RIO OLYMPICS", featuring a picture of the pretty lady's bum. Is YouTube not aware of the existence of porn, or is it just trying to sell me one more adverti - it's the latter. It's always the latter.

Fuck you to Tumblr for recommending me the blog "fag". Didn't need a reminder, thanks.

Big ups to Dale Carnegie, as his book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" is one of the best books I have ever read, giving practical life advice on how to be a more mature, more pleasant, more persuasive, and more gentlemanly of a person. It gives you life advice using examples gathered through all of history, with reasoning that makes more sense than you would ever find in the self-help books of today. Inded, Carnegie invented the self-help genre, though unwittingly, simply because the book was that damn useful. The core worldview of the book can be described as "do good things that good people are afraid to do", as they are very simple, obvious things, such as smiling, complimenting people, and listening to what they have to say, that are so often ignored in favour of doing the obvious and primal thing of being angry and unpleasant. Make no mistake - this is not a book for kindergarteneres or autistic youngsters trying to get a grip on their emotions. This is a book for real men looking to spread their influence on the real world without any of the poppycock theories or twelve-steppers that so plague our modern world, and does not talk down to its audience anymore than a mentor would talk down to his student.

Fuck you to the United States patent office. Any government body that is legally required to accept obvious patents because they can't find a source saying that people have filmed yoga classes before is a body that does not deserve to exist out of sheer common sense (although the patent office would be the only body which deals with patents). Despite the obviousness of the situation, the brilliant Federal Circuit judges said that "cannot accept general conclusions about what is ‘basic knowledge’ or ‘common sense’ as a replacement for documentary evidence for core factual findings in a determination of patentability", so basically you have to find a written saying that people can put vinegar in bottles before you reject a patent for vinegar in a bottle. It is this same bureaucracy and reliance on laws instead of practical knowledge that should be imbued in every non-retarded person that caused a father to be under investigation for child abuse and for his son to be separated from him for over two weeks because he accidentally gave him a lemon-flavoured beer. It's fucked-up, plain and simple, when the indifference of good men leads to unecessary injustice, and though patents are not children, it is unjust to expect patent clerks to follow bad laws in the course of their duty, the same as it is unjust for police officers to follow bad laws or else be fired for not obeying them. And there is no correlation between what is legal, and what is just.

Big ups to the Dolphin emulator, and though it is a pussy which does not support piracy, it has one of the tidiest progress updates for a program I have ever seen. It is a simple joy to see incremental improvements over time, the same joy that so many gamers get from their Wii and Gamecube games, and to see them laid out in clear fashion on their website means I have something to look forward to on the first (or second) of every month. There are improvements happening every week with Dolphin, some by extraordinarily talented people, and as such should be shown in the same way that Dolphin shows them - with lots of screenshots, comparisons, and credit to team. Thank you very much for all of your work, Dolphin. May you forever remain relevant despite your moralfaggotry.

Fuck you to the famed Humble Bundle, and for all its virtues by allowing DRM free games to be bought for dirt cheap (which isn't straight piracy, yet is one step above it, making it much easier for us to share the wealth with our friends), asked me for my phone number when completing a purchase. You fucking what mate? Here I am, trying to purchase some video games on the downlow, making sure nobody can sneak a peek at my account, and you want my phone number? What is this arbitrary anti-fraud designation that you have put into place? Are you perhaps worried that somebody might scam me out of twenty cents, so much so that you have to not only discrimnate against those without cell phones, and also discriminate against those who wish not to send their personal details out into the wild? You don't walk into Gamestop and have them ask for your phone number, so why the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air are you? I hope you enjoy losing out on the cost of a jumbo gummy bear, because I'm not buying into what you're selling, "Humble Bundle", or should I say, "Arrogant bag".

And on this day, I gave a fuck, and yet ended up literally falling asleep at my desk. Rather than drag my eyeballs across a monitor in a gambit to provide material, I decided to call it a day. Can I bank weekends? I guess it doesn't matter, as taking a day off due to extraordinary circumstances is some price to pay for working every day, even if I don't publish it. What a shame.

Big ups to eBay, for helping me find out about my lovely, mysterious, plush toy, who I have spent more time with and have enjoyed more memories with than with anybody else in this world. There are few material objects I have any care for - not even for those which I should care about, such as heirlooms, which I only hold onto until my remaining family members are dead and I can sell them for whatever the purchase value is of the last remaining photographs of my great-grandmother. But my scruffy plushie, anonymous for his virtue, is the only non-practical item that I hold any value to, being my greatest projection of what I ever wanted out of this world: mutual respect with a friend to talk to and a head to tuck into my neck and cuddle and simply kiss while holding his hand with the knowledge that you actually know what it's like to love and be loved. He is inexorably a part of me, as I with him, and he is the only thing that I actually worry about when I'm away from him, as to lose him is like losing one of the reasons that you even bother to get up and try in this world.

Fuck you to BYOND, a gaming platform most notable for hosting Space Station 13 (which is a simulation of what happens when you put 50 douchebags in a space station, give them the tools to fuck everything up, and tell them to not fuck anything up unless they want to get banned), for injecting advertisements into the pre-game client. What is this increduity which I am currently suffering - this sense of awe that I feel when I see that you have the nerve to show me Axe body wash commercials before I get my game on, bro? This would be like if I was watching a television show, and right before it started getting good, it cut to an advertisement - OH WAIT. I guess this demonstrates just how good we have it on the Internet to be able to tell advertising companies to fuck off and destroy their revenue models by installing a browser extension, so I guess I'm telling BYOND to fuck off by breaking that sense of entitlement. It's just like Reddit - don't break the circlejerk, except in this case it's more about getting rid of spam and less about trying to justify your racist opinions.

Big ups to Tumblr, for all its flaws (and there are many!) and for all its batshit crazy people (and there are many!), and for recommending me a blog called "fag" (fuck you!), and for getting me addicted for two years of my life, and for having a staff made of monkeys who are incredible inconsistent on copyright, hate speech, porn, and sexual youngsters, as well as having some of the worst website design I have ever seen, in both size and substance, and having marketing that panders so deeply to the Lowest Common Denominator up one (LCD↑1), being a select group of people who think they're better than the LCD and so branch off into their own culture which is only one step above the LCD, and so become a new form of LCD... you would think Tumblr is a shitty website. You're right, it is a shitty website. But it's also a breeding ground for furries - away from the drama of Furaffinity, away from the amatuer (and sometimes cringeworthy) work of DeviantART, and away from the blatant pedophilia of Inkbunny, it currently remains one of the coolest places to seek out and assassiante BEFRIEND the little rascals. But don't create an account, as it'll be a buggy and unpleasant time for you. Instead bookmark the blogs you find interesting. I won't give you any, but e621 is a good gateway. Except if you're on Tor, because fuck Tor.

Fuck you to my printer, may its name be censored for My grace, for installing on my computer more crapware than I know what to do with, and no idea which ones to install without fucking up the entire process and having to go through the wasteland that is Driver Hell and trying to find the right combination of magic runes which will make the thing print. Is plug-and-play a dead concept to printers? After all, it only has the entire size of a PC to work. I guess I'm naive (and I'll say this until I upgrade myself to fucking retarded) for assuming that the same industry which arbitrarily limits the price of ink cartridges to that of unicorn blood to respect their users. I wonder what Stallman uses to print his shit, seeing as every printer has proprietary software on it? We better ask him using our proprietary mail protocols on our proprietary processors using our proprietary fonts, and pray that he salvages us from this Hell we have brought upon ourselves.

Big ups to Rational Wiki, for having taken the last three hours out of my life to bear witness to the best and worst that human minds have to offer. Written in the same pissed-off and casual attitude that yours truly posesses (though with an air of respectability which would be damaging to my reputation), it takes pot-shots at all sorts of bullshit you might come across, religious or otherwise, against the status quo of whatever topic it might be covering. While it isn't rational - indeed, it often falls into the same fallacies that it wants to be against - it is entertaining, and covers topics that Wikipedia doesn't have the balls to, as neutrality isn't in their dictionary any more than God is. Not to be Rolling Stone (whose prose is as useless as an average Tumblr post), but it's a catchy little thing with a cool, minimalist beat and some goofy charm - wait, that's Mims. Seeing as Wikipedia likes to maintain the status quo, refusing to fight against the Nazi atrocities because they have their own ass to cover - wait, that's the USA (and Switzerland, stop calling me racist) - I actually found Rational Wiki after trying to find out if Michael Moore was a liar. It turns out he is. Fascinating!

Fuck you to the Google Forced And Unpaid Labour RECAPTCHA, but not for their complacency in the mass censorship of thousands of CloudFlare-hosted websites which seek to block Tor. We already knew that Google doesn't care about the liberty of their users, and so devoting a section to complaining about that is pissing in an old hat. I am instead complaining, against the against the entire bloody purpose of the BUAFYs, about how it barely works. It's like the Neocities (sorry) Wikia of gatekeepers, where it loads slow as all hell, barely serves its purpose, and will sometimes just kick you out for no reason. Everybody thank Google for providing a product that barely fucking works. In addition, thank Google for providing me fuel for this section of my website, as due to the sheer amount of times I have told it to fuck off, it is now deserving of the shit-encrusted gold star enema I have just shoved up e621's ass, as the site is now blocking Tor users again. The premiere archive of furry-related artwork is dedicated to preserving the proud cultural legacy of our fandom, except when you're using Tor, in which case fuck off.

Big ups to this Wikipedia post, which sums up why Wikipedia is still legitimate despite people who like to fuck with it: "With all due respect, sadly ignoring the "No Personal Attacks" policy, Mr. Colbert is what many would refer to as a Professional Troll. Now, despite the fact that Colbert has millions of viewers, most of whom edit the Elephant article to all hell, Wikipedia is still able to maintain the article's integrity through diligent reverts and article protection. The fact of the matter is, it's been proven (albeit grudgingly) that Wikipedia has, in cases, been more accurate than (or as accurate as) Reuters and Brittanica. Whether or not Wikipedia is a trusted source of information should not matter if all Wikipedians contribute source citations for information inserted. There is wrong information all over wikipedia, sure, but things are being done about it all the time. Reverts, peer edits, demands for source citation, are all things that are done and that you can do to make wikipedia a better place to learn. Yes, I'm sure there's false information on wikipedia, but it's not like nothing is being done. The fact of the matter is, Wikipedia actually has a very fast, efficacious peer review process. In the end, all the Elephant article has proven is that when Mr. Colbert rallies his forces behind their keyboards, all the edit warring in the world cannot change the fact that the elephant population has still not tripled. Regards, Utopianfiat 15:47, 16 August 2006 (UTC)"

Fuck you to Nintendo, for their continued abuse of copyright laws, killing fangames that seek to compete with them by releasing a better product than even they can muster. Rule of thumb for business - if you have to rely on lawsuits to get ahead, you're not winning. The game was supposed to be what Metroid fans have always wanted, which is basically Super Metroid 2 but whatever. The developers spend eight years making a labour of love, the game that Nintendo wishes they could make, the game that would be to Nintendo what Goldeneye Source was to Rare, and they killed it. And I have to wonder what the purpose of this is beyond the simple greed of a company who knows they can't compete in their own field, and has to rely on rotten laws to solve their problems for them. Thanks, Nintendo, for showing that gamers are to you what an audience is to a movie studio - a liability and not a privilege. (Bonus: see the Lewd Gamer take on the DMCA, which features news as it it should be; surrounded by anime tiddy)

Big ups to 8chan for hijacking my thread and turning it into a Space Station 13 thread, which can best be described as Trouble in Terrorist Town without the little kids hopping around being all buggery because you shot them in the head. Or to put it in other terms, "a paranoia-laden roleplaying game set against the backdrop of a nonsensical, metal death trap masquerading as a space station". The gameplay ranges from Papers Please except everybody bitches at you, an RTS game where you try to fuck with as many crew members as possible without getting caught, an arthritis simulator where changing a lightbulb takes no less than 15 different key inputs, and a fucking clown, who spends the entire round murdering his enemies under the guise of playing pranks on them. This is the exact type of game that a Channer would play - the opportunity to fuck with people is as limitless as the opportunity to be fucked, as well as having some of the tightest roleplay of any game this decade. Also, the interface is really quite shitty. But it's freeeeeeee!

Fuck you to YouTube, for continuing to assume that I am in countries which I am not in. Generally I don't mind this, as my setup demands that I confuse as many websites as I see fit, though it's not so much that YouTube constantly changes languages and countries and shit like that, but that it chooses one and sticks with it for the entire period of time. So if I ever want to go on YouTube for whatever reason (monopoly's a bitch), I have to deal with whatever the hell is going on in France or Great Britian or Israel or some other shitty country (so let's all move to Greenland). Perhaps YouTube would understand that if I was watching English-language videos, then it would also recommend me videos in that language? No, that's fucking absurd. I did learn one thing though: French people have cancer the same as we do!

Big ups to e621, the premiere furry porn site, for finally removing that godawful CloudFlare business. Don't get me wrong - it still uses it, which is apparent when you spend thirty minutes on the site and have it go offline for absolutely no reason (even Reddit's servers are more reliable, and you'd think a top 25 website would have better computers than a cardboard box with some capacitators in it). I must be losing my mind or in a dream within a dream, because I've tried ten different Tor addresses and I haven't triggered it once. Did you perhaps get threatened by Germany and had to change your policy so your owners could cover their tracks? Whatever the case, gold star for caring about the liberty of your users. But if I turn out to be wrong, I'm melting the star down and giving you a golden enema.

Fuck you to Microsoft for not letting me uninstall Cortana. I don't even know why I have Windows 10 installed except for when I want to hack the shit out of Team Fortress 2 and generally ruin everyone's day. It's a cheap thrill, but one I like to use when I want to get the party started. Anyway, I went into Task Manager and noticed Cortana was running? So I tried to kill it, but the bitch came back! I tried to nuke it, but it wouldn't let me. I even tried going into the folder and fucking up the permissions but Windows wouldn't even let me do that. Yare yare daze, now I know why techies are always pissed off at Microsoft - I can't even modify my own computer! I knew OS X has a reputation for being for babies, but I don't know why Winblows (ha ha ha) users are free from that stigma. Is it because of the games? It's because of the games, isn't it.

Big ups to Art of Manliness, among other such brilliant articles, for revealing to me the maxim of "Never complain, never explain". Simply put, explaining yourself to people who don't deserve it reduces your credibility from somebody who shares their vision with the world, to somebody who has to constantly justify that vision. The whole maxim is summed up in the first quote: "Never explain - your friends do not need it, and your enemies will not believe you". I don't run the BUAFYS or make lengthy Hand of Frog e-mails in a desperate attempt to get the world to accept me; there are far too many people out there and I can write down the names of all the people whose opinions I trust on a sticky note with space to spare. I write them to teach that, at once, the world is both full of beauty and that it is imperfect, and I give you my opinions to help you improve it. Whether or not you act on it is your own choice, and if you want to be a degenerate, then fine. If you want to blindly obey the status quo, then fine. Then all you'll be is a degenerate who does what everyone else is doing, and that's not a good place to be, and I will always give you the opportunity to be better.

Fuck you to the real big video games industry, though the real big topic I will ignore in favour of the real small yet real important one of video games being universally proprietary software. It's very hard to put your trust into even open-source innocuous programs like an audio converter, because there is little reason to vet every single program for surveillance when the time spent doing so would take hours and is simply impractical when you might have something as big as Firefox or VirtualBox on your system. So when a gamer like me wants to run software, there's always this twinge of doubt where you have absolutely no idea what's going on behind the scenes - not even simple documentation like what you would find in Master Password. Even in single player games, when you're ever connected to the Internet, you have to put all your trust into a black box system and just assume that the developers aren't doing anything malicious while you're playing. I can't even imagine what you're sending to the developers when you're playing an always-online multiplayer game which requires a botnet like Steam or Uplay to run, because those systems are designed to be as addictive and malicious as possible to extract profit from their useds. I guess I'm naive for expecting the games industry, one which depends on weaponising fanbases and getting them addicted for profit, to give a shit about their users. But hey - at least we can get a game like Shovel Knight once in a while.

Big ups to torrentzeu.to, for keeping the Torrentz legacy alive and providing a clone of the original - and what an original it was. The original Torrentz was a legendary search engine with a popularity that rivaled that of Sikhism, taking all of the good little piracy sites and slopping them on for the world to see. Unfortunately, its creators bitched out without explanation and decided to kill the last great thing the Internet has ever created, after the Papa John's website. This domain continues the trend, providing the full functionality of the original while unfortunately reminding us of the Kickass massacre. Here's one thing you shoulnd't have cloned though: fucking CloudFlare. You would think a piracy site wouldn't want to run off a company which blocks Tor, but it's even more insulting that you won't let me access the search engine after three successful Google Forced And Unpaid Labour RECAPTCHA attempts. Wouldn't it be good for your reputaton if you made sure your users didn't get fucked over on an insecure connection? Or are you the typical lowest common demoninator script kiddy that doesn't give a fuck about their users?

Fuck you to the NoFap movement - a cult-like collection of twenty-something atheist men who have deluded themselves into believing that porn and masturbation are bad for them. You know, I keep having to remind myself of this revelation, but nobody from NoFap is ever going to read this. Nobody who disagrees with me is going to bother to read, understand, and digest what I am saying, because people hate being wrong and will spend whatever fiber of their being they can to defend their egos against being wrong, even on the most silly of matters. Come on, we've all felt it. I bet you've gotten into Internet fights before, right? It almost never turns out well - indeed, comment sections are like the anarchies of the Internet, saying whatever the fuck you want and hoping you get a band of raiders to hear you so you can join their crew and fuck up the Web with your poorly-thought out opinions. Every word I say here will be quickly skipped over by everybody who disagrees with me, half-heartedly skimmed by everybody who isn't interested in this topic, and only really understood by people who have enough trust and respect in me to understand where I'm coming from on this. So you know what I'm going to say? Absolutely nothing. If you object to the freedom to masturbation and consume porn on moral grounds, you're an idiot. And that's about the least helpful thing I could ever say, enriching nobody. But such people didn't want to be enriched. They just want to read things which makes them think they're making the right decisions in life, even if that makes them far more ignorant for the long journey ahead.

Big ups to Jacques Mattheij, for describing, simply, why the "you've got nothing to hide" line of thinking just doesn't hold up. Acts of evil occur, and their effectiveness varies based on what we supply the offenders. Even innocuous things like our names and addresses can be used for anybody to abuse, and indeed they will be used by anybody should that information become public. This is especially true in a world where all of our information is online, somewhere, and all somebody has to do to reveal it is to find a vulnerability in the software that protects it, and then it's leaked to the world. Privacy is not something used by bad people to do bad things with - it's what we use to stop bad people from learning things that harm good people.

Fuck you to CNN, not for their racist news coverage or their blatant astroturfing of Clinton or trying to give sympathy to two convicted rapists or all the other shit they've done, but instead for their fucking awful site design. An autoplaying video? All the words pushed off to one side? A cookie pop-up taking up 5% of the screen (this one's for the EU)? A shit-ton of whitespace at the bottom of the article? Tracking buttons squished against the side, autoscrolling with the sticky header like a retarded straightedge? And you already have tracking buttons at the bottom of the article - and they aren't even the same services! Why is there an arrow at the right side just limply hanging there until you scroll over it and learn it's for the Olympics? Am I shitting the bed right now? If this is the quality of their web design, an incredibly easy thing to pull off (wink wink), then how awful is their journalism? Oh, wait, extraordinarily awful.

Big ups to Josh Boruff, the inventor of Boruffian Orthodox Dogspotting, for bringing a much-needed refresh to the aging sport of dogspotting. For the uninitiated, dogspotting is simple. You spot a dog and get points. If the dog spots you, the dog gets all the points. For years, we have relied on the free point system - an anarchy where you get points as decided by your peers with no reason to it. It was an easily gamed system, and rightfully so. Thankfully, Boruffian Orthodox has gained enough traction to give this sport the rigor it deserves, creating an equal playing field where a man does not need his peers to be successful, but must rely on the strength of his own dogspotting skills. Dogspeed, Boruff.

Fuck you to the Zero Punctuation theme song for blowing my ears like a fan blows air. This wasn't my best simile work, I'll admit. You would think that after nine bloody years, the man would learn how to either mix his audio properly or raise his voice above that as a candle's flame. Either that, or he's deliberately fucking with us, which seems to be the latter case for everything he does. Fucking with us, are you? How about I fuck you, instead? Wouldn't you like that, you fedora-wearing mumfucker?

Big ups to uBlock Origin, for doing its job as an adblocker and blocking fucking ads without any sort of "acceptable ad" policy (indeed, the only acceptable advertisements are the ones which exist as an opportunity to do good, and no algorithm can yet detect that). The incentive for data farms to whore as much data as they possibly can out of you (and we're talking companies like Google and Amazon here) is to sell more advertisements to unwitting suspects, and to let other companies purchase advertisements from them. If you block them, they no longer earn money, and they no longer have an incentive to profit off of you. In addition, it also comes with handy features such as blocking jumpscares and shock sites, blocking scam, tracking, malware, and social network domains (though you have to go into the settings to block all of these things), and gives you the ability to block parts of a website which annoy you. See you, YouTube comments!

Fuck you to Google for forcing me into making a Google account just to download applications on my cell phone - though the reason I even have one is to look at furry porn and to bail my spaghetti ass out if I accidently bike into a gay bar and have to escape the hordes of men coming after me. Fuck - at least pay for the full hour. Do you remember when software was something you owned, and not lent to you, where your updates where certain, you could download old version off the developer website if anything went wrong, and where you could customise it to hell and back and still have it work when the next version came out? I can understand why the older generation is pissed off about computers. The ecosystem is a lot worse than it was just a few years ago, and though I understand a few years is a lifetime in Internet terms, there are some practices in the past that deserve to be brought back for the future, like downloading your fucking apps without Google staring over your shoulder the whole time. Consider this my recommendation for F-Droid - an Android app store that actually respects its users.

Big ups to the r/onions subreddit (clearnet https link) for being one of the best ideals of what a censorship-free, community-run platform should be (assuming that the Reddit dictators care about the few good parts about their website and won't shit the bed by removing it). The bare meat of the subreddit is that it's a directory of Dark Web links - links that you can only access using Tor, which the server owners set up so that neither you nor the owners can know who each other are. After going through some of the links, you can tell why some of the owners would want to hide. You can find all sorts of shit on there - anarchist collectives, terrorist sign-up forms, markets that sell you anything you can imagine, entire libraries worth of music, books, and videos, guides about protecting your online privacy (though if you're on Tor, you're doing a bang-up job), forums that make even 8chan look like a beacon of sanity, including the 8chan address at oxwugzccvk3dk6tj.onion , and surprisingly little illegal shit for what is considered to be the worst that the Internet has to offer. r/onions brings the mysteries of the Dark Web to those who wish to explore it, devoting itself to a system that's impossible to censor and where nobody knows who anybody is, and is a noble pursuit for a website that is otherwise known for jetfueling Bernie Sanders Dank Meme Stash.

Fuck you to Toby Fox for saying he didn't want Undertale (which will be the last thing he will ever need to make, thanks to Tumblr money) to be submitted to either Games Done Quick (the premier cringe charity stream) or TASvideos (the cool site for cool guys) to be speedrun. Yes, that's a Reddit link, though I wouldn't recommend going to r/speedrun unless you want either drama or poorly-thought-out comments. Speedrunning is a proud aspect of gaming culture, and has a long history of collaboration and cooperation between gamers of all background - bringing light to the fact that every game can be broken in an instant, and showcasing their programming failures to the world. Toby says "fuck you" to this heritage, and demanded that it not be submitted to GDQ, and because the organisers live off of "fuck you", they rejected the Undertale submission. I shouldn't have to explain this at this point in my blogging career (note: I have not made any money off of this blog), but when you are an artist, and you create a piece of art to share to the world, you don't get a say in how the world can use it. A person like Toby, who has unwittingly contributed to the culture of video games for better or for worse, is now suggesting we censor that culture, take his game away from the gamers who made it popular, just because he doesn't like the idea of it being spread in a certain way. That's fucking selfish - and it's a right fucking outrage that the organisers went along with your request, because it shows that they pride the opinions of the privileged individual over the desires of the angry majority. Regardless of why you made a work of art, why you released it, why you wanted to share it - once it becomes a part of the public consciousness, it belongs to the public. To suggest that it isn't is hypocritical to the entire idea of art.

Big ups to the "Why Software should not have Owners" article by Rick Ross, I mean Richard Stallman, for outlining the entire free software philosophy in simple yet brilliant prose, giving examples in a way Dale Carnegie would be proud of, and putting in context why the movement is most important in a world where the laws we follow were written in one that was generations before we were born, and how the law only benefits those who can profit off of them (Oscar Wilde said that "All modes of government are failures... High hopes were once formed of democracy; but democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people). The free software philosophy is not a selfish one, but an altruistic one. It allows you to give to the world, and to receive from it just the same, and those that go against it are those who want to profit off of the work of others without considering how it may help people who get nothing from it. We are currently living in a time where the Internet has dominated our lives, and to go against free software is go to against the universal principals of sharing and free culture that the Internet was based off of. We are in the midst of a cultural revolution - and the sooner we kill our masters, the sooner we may improve life for the entire world.

Fuck you to Canonical, for forcing me into a donation page before downloading Ubuntu, and then making a sad face when I said I couldn't donate. That's the most blatantly manipulative thing I've seen all month - even that South Park episode on freemium games had more subtle techniques than your fucking sad face. To make people feel guilty for downloading something for free is classism, because it assumes that that people who cannot donate act with malicious intent. I have no problems with giving positive reinforcement for donations. After all, paying customers should deserve exclusive rights that don't affect non-paying customers, because they keep a business afloat (and the keywords are "don't affect", as most freemium models affect users in some way). However, when you try to abuse non-paying customers, it undermines the effort of the free software ecosystem by causing people to feel bad for using content that by all rights should be free. I guess this should be expected of a for-profit company, which exists out of profit and not out of altruism. All software should have the right to be sold as well as be given away, as anybody should be able to use it for any purpose even if it's for bad purposes. It must also be said that the actions of a for-profit company such as Canonical must always be put under scrutiny, as all companies exist to maximise profit over the sake of their users, which is probably why they installed Amazon spyware in Ubuntu for three and a half years despite the criticisms of fucking everyone. So anyway, I'm using Mint now, and it has some sexy wallpapers...

Big ups to Vim (the text editor, not the sponsor of the lesser-known sequel to I Love Lucy) for having one of the simplest and most effective tutorials for a product I've seen. I don't see much, you see, so when I do, WHOA, I can assert that I've seen some shit. Understand this: are you aware that the easiest way to learn how to use a product is to use the product? A very hard concept, I know. But Vim takes this concept and runs with it like your dad away from your family. You just click on the "Vim tutor" shortcut, and you open up a tutorial file, and it tells you to edit it, and how. It's a brilliant application of the program - you use the program in its natural state, and by having it tell you what its capable of, it shows you how to work it better than an instruction manual ever would. Imagine if video games had this philosophy? No more tutorial levels, thank you - throw me into a clusterfuck, tell me how to get out of it, and leave me to my devices! I would like to apologise to the man in the library I thought was retarded because he was using a special text editor. It struck me six months later than he was using Vim, and that I was retarded for not noticing the connection. The days of our lives...

Fuck you to the MPAA (and I can preface every 'fuck you' with this statement and it'll be valid somehow) for running a psychologically manipulative and blatantly flase propaganda campaign, called "You can click, but you can't hide", which already shows its bullshit by failing to realise that "clicking" and "hiding" are two verbs that have no relation to each other except when your wife walks into the room. It's your typical misleading profit-driven ad campaign, telling people that they're fucking idiots for downloading movies and such (even when this is the only way for some people to get movies - fantastic classism), that downloading a movie causes every medium slave (not to be confused with artists. medium slaves work for profit, not for art) to collectively kill themselves and cause the entire movie industry to collapse (despite box office profits being the highest they've ever been), wrongfully calls copying files "stealing" despite the simple, basic fact that copying is not stealing, and that any pirate, and any non-pirate with a dictionary, can tell you the difference, and I have logical, economic, artistic, and practical citations in case you need more than just my word. It's the typical ranting of somebody who makes work not to spread a message, not to improve the world, not to improve themselves, but to improve their business statistics. Gentlemen, you will find that when you die, your reputation is the last thing you will ever have, and burying your money will not give you comfort. The only reason I'm discussing these claims that are beneath me is because I want to learn about what I hate, so I may articulate why I hate it, so I may help you understand my point of view better. If it improves you the same as they have improved me, then I have done what I want to do.

Did you know that there was no BUAFY on this day? You would if you were subscribed to my newsletter. Yes, please give me your e-mail address after I have firmly established I cannot run a website, so I may update you with the content of my bowels every hour. Today it's nothing - because I starve for you.

Big ups to the Tor Browser, and even though I've talked at length about the benefits that Tor brings (communications hard to decipher in transit, makes it difficult for websites to indentify you, gives both websites and users a means to be anonymous so long as sanity checks are met), the Tor Project has made the process idiot-proof for anybody wanting to avoid oppression from governments, corporations, and anybody who wants to cause them trouble. If you don't know what it does, it basically encrypts your data in transit, routes it through three computers, hides your IP address from sites you connect to, and makes your browsing habits incredibly hard to track through this simple system. All you do is download a browser package, and then you're suddenly on Tor as private as can be. The Tor network is one of the greatest things to happen to the Web, and we would all have a much greater trail for our enemies to pick up, if it did not exist. To learn more about how Tor works, read the simple documentation. Also try the DuckDuckGo Tor Site at 3g2upl4pq6kufc4m.onion, which makes it extraordinarily hard for any party, even DuckDuckGo, to identify your searches. Not even the URL is vulnerable to snooping.

Fuck you to Torrentz.eu... and this is really fucking weird, because Torrentz shut down today with no explanation, no background to it, and no sort of explanation. It says, "Torrentz was a free, fast and powerful meta-search engine combining results from dozens of search engines", and if you click on anything on the site, it says "Torrentz will always love you. Farewell". Why? Why in the world would you take the TrueCrypt route and simply shut down with no explanation whatsoever? In a world that's being threatened on a daily basis by copyright vultures, Torrentz was one of the last bastions to getting safe and reliable torrents from the Web. With the death of Kickass and the restructuring of The Pirate Bay, all users can do now is scavenge the bottom of the barrel in order to get torrents, and they're going to be much less safe on those other websites. Was it because of some deranged moralfaggotry that prompted you to shut down, ignorant that people are going to pirate anyway and all you've done was damage them? Were you threatened by the mafia, and didn't do anything to protect yourself and instead decided to go tits up? I'm upset, Torrentz, but for good reason: you were one of the greats, and to see you disappear is like crippling our culture. I hope you come back and make me look like an idiot, because otherwise, the Web is changing.

Big ups to Wikipedia, who in this instance has a comprehensive article of The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya episodes - an anime with a title that makes it sound like it belongs in a musueum buried under a rare legal document or something. I learned from Digibro (and I'm not sucking his dick - I'm just stating the source) that it was better to watch this anime in its original order because it provided a nonlinear, yet sensical experience that provides better pacing and a more fitting series finale, than you would in the chronological broadcast. Does it? I have no fucking clue. That's why I want to watch it, you see, as well as the episode descriptions which make it sound like the most important anime to have ever existed. I have dedicated more time to ordering episodes of this series than I have ordering drugs on Silk Road, and Wikipedia was instrumental in solving this dilemma. Which is to say, more than zero. I have never been to Silk Road. Please don't arrest me. It's a prank bro - it's just a prank!

Fuck you to F.lux for having one of the most insulting software licenses I have ever seen. Let's briefly go over what this program does; it changes your monitor into the colour of piss. That is all. And yet the brilliant devlopers thought this idea was so earth-shatteringly revolutioninary that they not only advertise it as "patent pending" (which I'll bet they'll immediately abuse once they get it), but they also try to prevent people from copying it, sharing it, renting out timeslots to it, looking at its source code, and making you "assume all risks and liabilities relating to the Software". It literally turns your screen orange. I'm so boggled at the idea that anybody's ego would be so monolithic that they thought that everybody who used this would immediately want to steal it like the Russian nuclear launch codes. The developers are farther up their ass than a veterinarian inspecting an elephant anus, and I'm seriously worried about any code monkey with a similar attitude, because they're the ones populated our workforce. Also, Redshift does the same thing, as FLOSS. Fuck you.

Big ups to Anki, a simple piece of FLOSS which helps you learn facts. Its interface is like a cactus - don't dive into it unless you know what you're doing. It's flashcards, you see, and though that word will make your skin shrivel into itself like a strange loop, it makes them sexier by letting you paste images and audio into them so a Japanese lady can narrate Spider-man jumping over a cloud (I'm not stupid enough to make up that sentence). If ever you had trouble memorising certain things, like the countries of the world or Python code examples, you can bang into the Shared Decks section and download other cards, which mitigates the truly awful process of making new cards. Notably, Anki is used by weebs in order to learn Japanese, and I appreciate them for being more useful people. If they can do it, so can you, and the only thing stopping you from being a good person is your abusive parents and clinical depression. And yourself.

Fuck you to Google Drive, as for one, it requires running non-free Javascript code (which Stallman is REALLY pissed about!), and for two, it sometimes simply fails to work on Tor. I find it interesting how a service that people use to link to child porn isn't encouraging Tor, seeing as that would really lessen your liability for hosting the content (alright, so it's used for things besides CP - but just a little). Say I want to do something illegal like read My Little Pony fanfiction? What am I supposed to do if you reject me just because of the browser I use? I think that's a little racist, but then that's hypocritical to say about the company which happily censored YouTube for the Pakistani government. I guess equality is bowing down to any threat that comes your way, huh Google?

Big ups to Games Done Quick, for their frank display of speedruns and speedrun related paraphilia. If you don't know what a speedrun is, then I guess I'll have to be Fucking Wikihow and say it's when you go fast in a viddy gaym. Does that sound boring? Well, the description is a little dry, but then that's true of the polio vaccine. A speedrun is where you see a little rat pop out of a sign to collect all 151 pokemon. A speedrun is where you blow yourself up with rockets to travel higher and faster than anything else. A speedrun is jumping ten thousand feet in the air because you went to the options menu three times. A speedrun is a thousand frame-perfect inputs on two contollers to make Mario fly. A speedrun is serious business, and happened to raise a few million dollars for charity over the years. Are you new? Then GDQ will succ you like it succed me. Are you old? Then GDQ will give you more appreciation for the history, aesthetics, and mechanics of video games, and the development decisions created over the years, how restrictions of the time have affected development, and how no video game survives a player base. Also, this run has the cutest cat plushie I've ever seen! I would have stolen it and taken it home, if my current plushie wouldn't have been severely disappointed with me.

Fuck you to web sites whose filesizes add up to be larger than the entire code of Super Mario 64. Web development these days have a "kitchen sink" philosophy. That's too generous - it's more like a kitchen sink factory. Websites focus so much on being complacent with every possible device on every possible resolution (even IE8 at Commodore 64 sizes) that they create code which tries to satisfy the requirements of each minority without considering how it affects the majority. Sites like Tumblr, Medium, and Pixiv are slow, slow, slow, because they have so many dependencies, hook into so many external programs, and compress their files so poorly that these sites often add up into the tens of megabytes. While I understand that you wouldn't want to compress user uploads, why does the entire picture have to load before we even want to see it full-size? It seems to me that the Web is losing its human touch, losing the beauty of hand-crafted source code and best practices, losing the simplicity that it once had in order to fill up its pages with so much unecessary and depreciated shit that at this point they stop adding features and start taking away access to them by making them as buggy, sluggish, and unresponsive as Neocities (cheap shot!). If you compare my website to almost any other in the modern age, then you would see that simplicity is a virtue, as it works on fucking anything, loads fast on any connection, has source code that's structured so as to be actually readable, and is only 20kb on the main page. Twenty kilobytes - half as images! Most developers would shit themselves at that point, but I guess they never grew up in simpler days, now have they?