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myMISSION Mom Blog

We fell in love with South Asians. Maybe it was the warm milk tea, the curried food, the bells and loud music, or the welcoming smiles (OK, sometimes stares), but South Asians stole our hearts. Since moving to a rural area of Alabama, we wanted to look for ways our family could meet South Asians in our area. At first, we were told there weren’t many South Asians in this area. As we began to seek internationals in our area, we found that many families from South Asia reside in our town, and we wanted to get to know them.

A dinner, an English class, a Thanksgiving celebration—whatever could be used as a way to build relationships—we wanted to connect. We had a successful first get-together. Then for a couple months afterward, we tried to establish something else. And for months, this “something else” never quite worked out. The relationships were there just not the events.

What were we doing wrong? We weren’t listening—to God, to the people we were trying to reach, or to our family’s missional gifts.

The following are a few ways we’ve learned to connect to a people group through listening:

We moved from a South Asian city back to an American city. In South Asia, relationships trump tasks. You may begin to leave your house to run errands, but if a neighbor shows up, you stay and serve them chai. Relationships come before tasks.

Moving back to the United States made me question how I would spend my time. Add in being a new momma (and, for the first time, a stay-at-home mom), being a pastor’s wife, and living in a new town; I had many avenues where I could invest my time.

Love God. Love my family. Love my neighbor.

These three things have become themes in our family. Here are some ways we choose to invest our time as a family each day:

What’s your biggest fear? Is it spiders? Snakes? Speaking in public? Loneliness? Rejection? We tend to think of the “easy” fears first, like animals or insects, but when we get deeper, it gets uncomfortable. I’ll just be honest. I am afraid to fail. I love to do the right thing and get it just perfect, but sometimes I don’t let myself do something because I am afraid I will totally botch it up.

I’ve shared a little bit about my 20-month-old, Brady, and the fact that I’m due any day now with my little girl, Sophie. I’d be lying if I said the fact that my children will be this close together doesn’t make me more than slightly nervous. For starters, Brady and I are BFFs. I know that a lot of moms love their babies, but I’m serious, y’all—I laugh real live adult laughs at this child. The idea that I might miss one single thing that he does terrifies me and also makes me really sad. I love watching him learn about the world and show off all of his new skills.

It’s January! Have you kept up your New Year’s resolution so far? A lot of people see the new year as the perfect time to turn over a new leaf, give up an old habit, or start a new one. According to my Internet searching, 25 percent of resolutions don’t make it the first week! Anybody been there? *Raises hand while drinking that caffeinated beverage* Some of the most popular resolutions last year were to lose weight, to quit smoking, to enjoy life to the fullest, and to get organized. I love that third one—enjoy life to the fullest!

But how exactly do you know if you’re enjoying life to the absolute fullness of its vast potential? What does that look like for each of us? For a lot of Christians, we may choose things that are better than other things, but we don’t necessarily choose what’s best for ourselves or for our relationship with Christ.

In recent years, I think a lot of us have become increasingly aware of the world around us. I believe that’s because the world has been coming to us more and more. In years past, we had to step on a plane to encounter a large majority of the cultures in this world, but now we can simply step onto the sidewalk of our own neighborhoods. It’s really a beautiful thing.

It’s not always easy to see things from someone else’s perspective, but I think that is truly how we can become more aware of the world around us. That means actually getting out and talking to people who don’t look or think or act like you! As a mother, I can definitely say that I have not gone certain places when I was uncomfortable, and I’ve used my son as my excuse for not facing those fears. (I believe I read “perfect love drives out fear,” right?!)

Christ was all about unity and love throughout his ministry on earth. First John 4:12 says, “No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us” (NIV).

A lot of reasons seem pretty valid for disconnecting with someone these days. With the ever-growing use of social media, it’s fairly easy to get offended by some thought your classmate from kindergarten posted that you never would have known if she hadn’t been awake at 3 a.m. with no one to talk to. A lot of Christians may choose to stay away from social media for this very reason. Not this girl.

I am absolutely grateful for such unique ways to connect with people. Here I am, approximately 909 miles away from my parents on a daily basis, but I can still see anything that is going on in their lives that they want me to see! When I turn FaceTime on, no matter who I’m calling, my son now says, “Memaw? Memaw!” because he knows that usually his Memaw’s face is going to pop up. He’s going to get to grow up knowing her face, just because of technology like this! We can share videos, pictures, posts, deep thoughts, and even the thoughts that come across our mind that generations before us would never have dreamed of sharing!

Last month I broached the topic of my calling. This is one of those topics that remains popular in the Christian world.

But what happens when you have no clue what your “calling” is? As I mentioned last month, we as Christians are all called to share the love of God with all people, but what about you specifically? How will that calling take shape in your life, especially as a mom?

I was recently at our Arkansas WMU Annual Meeting and heard a missionary say, “God gave you the talents and hobbies that you have so that He could use them to share His love.” That’s something I think I sort of knew in the back of my mind but never really took to heart. Are you a baker? Do you absolutely love fitness? What about reading? How can you use those fun things about yourself to glorify God? (Can somebody say book club?!)

One thing we know about Jesus is that whatever He was doing, He knew what His calling, or mission, was. He even told His own mother as a preteen, “I must be about my Father’s business.” (That’s not exactly what I was telling my parents at that age, but He has always been pretty special.) He didn’t make a move without God’s guidance.

Exactly three years ago, I was on my first myMISSION trip. We went to Atlanta, and our whole weekend was dedicated to reaching refugees and victims of human trafficking. We’re still getting to know each other, but you can just know that this is my heartbeat.

We went around rough areas of Atlanta, handing out roses to prostitutes—women who needed to know that they were loved and valued. This is something to which I’ve dedicated my life.

Isaiah 61:1b reads, “He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners.” Isaiah’s description of his calling rings so true for me. I was so excited to be in this group, fulfilling this calling, but I knew I needed to be keenly aware of the vastly different needs of the women I would meet. This reminds me of Paul’s calling in 1 Corinthians 9:22b: “I have become all things to all people, that by all means I might save some.” Paul knew that he was called to preach the gospel to all people, but that took different shapes as God brought him to different places.

I recently celebrated my 30th birthday, which makes me a member of the emerging generation. Who are the emerging generation? We go by many labels; most commonly, we are referred to as Generation Y or millennials. The emerging generation encompasses those of us born between 1980 and 2000, roughly.

We are the largest and most unchurched generation in America. Notably, we are the first generation in history that didn’t grow up with a church or religious background. We weren’t raised in church. We weren’t taught the authority of the Bible, the inerrancy of Scripture, or other basic doctrines of the evangelical Christian faith.

More than half of the millennial generation believes being a religious person is about doing the right things versus holding the right beliefs. The majority of the emerging generation believes religion is a private matter that should be kept out of public affairs. More than half of my generation does not see a connection between belief in God and morality. In other words, you do not have to believe in God or have a personal relationship with Him in order to be moral.

I like to take pictures of my children. Since I have a smartphone, this task has become easier than ever before. Whenever my children are doing something funny or cute, I quickly whip out my phone, open the camera app and snap. In fact, at the time of this writing, I have 2,622 pictures on my camera roll in my phone. Clearly, I like pictures of my children. And since I like to capture these moments, nothing is more frustrating than when I aim my camera, ready to snap, only for the image to soften and lose focus. Suddenly, I’m tapping the screen, trying to refocus the image. Inevitably, by the time I get the camera refocused, the moment is gone. I’ve missed an opportunity.

Sometimes, this happens in our spiritual lives as well. We can lose focus on God’s purpose for our lives through distraction or waywardness, and we can miss out on divine opportunities if we don’t refocus. Let me give an example from my life to demonstrate.