your silence will not protect you

Opaque

Frantically wiping away her fingerprints
I want to see through clear lenses
For once
But her fingerprints seem to have left permanent stains
I cannot wipe them away
And I hate it
Maybe I’m just horny
I’m not gay
Not queer
I’m “normal” not “weird”
It’s all bullshit
My sexuality
Or my lack of one
One that is definite
It does not define who I am
Yet I spend half my time
Harping on it
Thinking about it
When I’m not thinking about her
Yeah, I spend a lot of time thinking about another girl
Two girls
Lustfully
Dreaming of…I can’t even fucking say it
I’m embarrassed
I hate this
And then coming out…
Is there anything to really talk about?
Maybe I’m just horny
I’ll just sext Jake
He’s probably up
It’s not too late
I don’t know
I hate this
And I can’t see
Because my glasses are foggy
From her fucking fingerprints