Tuesday, November 20, 2012

40 is awesome!

Today I turn 40! Hurray!

I have never been so filled with the joys of love, life and the world.
I have fallen deeply in love with myself and it all. Blessed and in love.

This age, this 40, has given me a little whiff of mortality.
An awareness of the ticking of that clock. And its a good thing, this new urgency.
The mind whispers "Time is there for the taking. Fill it up. Overflow it. Do what you love and do it as much as you can. Sista,what are you waiting for? "

And, even though I am humming along to this refrain, I have not turned my life upside down,

In my new wise, mature and joy-filled head, I have decided instead, to be happy and wait. Everyone knows that good things are destined for waiters. I'll cast my eye around for opportunity and be ready to pounce.

In the meantime, there is fun to be had. Joy even. And please do remind me of this the next time I fall into the pit of depsair and frustration, as history would indicate I am bound to do. For now, I'll ride my 40-year old Pollyanna-wave for as long as it lasts.

My mind has trapped and tricked me into negativity, depression, fear and resistance for the last 40 years. Too many life years spent locked into a tiny box of earnest, self-consciousness.
A keep it small box. A keep it safe box.

This 40 has sprung the lock.

Fear of life is redundant. It is no more than an imaginary obstacle to living.

My brother just sent me this as his welcome-to-the forties-birthday wish
"You will be healthier, wealthier and wiser and probably braver than ever before."

What's not to love about that? And I want to spread the love.

Lots of love to you, my family and friends.
Thank you for your love.
I hope I am around to give you all back all the love for the next 40 and more.

A very belated happy birthday. I love your posts. So honest and real. I'm so happy you are so happy. (And by the way I resigned around Christmas last year, just before having my second child. It felt good for a few days but then felt really,really scary. Thankfully I was able to revoke it, and a year on I am still in the job, but excited about opportunities ahead. It sort of acted as a kick up my a** to decide what I want to do and pursue it, which I am. I know you will be able to do the same now you are looking.)