Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Is this Forever?

if you didn't catch my reference to david after dentist, go watch it now. Laugh, cuz the rest of the blog might serve to depress.

But anyway, my topic today is something more serious, and just as equally depressing as any of the previous blogs i've been posting. It seems that life just keeps taking and taking. Just minutes ago i found out that a girl i went to high school with died in a car accident.

For one thing, i was just in a car accident.

For another, this girl lived right down the street from my house. It was only a few days ago that i had last seen her. I don't know exactly what happened. And i'm worried about those around her. I don't know if she was driving or if someone is feeling some sort of blame for all of this. But i hope that they can all be at peace with this.

It doesn't seem real. I don't believe that any of this is happening. Maybe someone is trying to tell me something. Someone of a higher power. God even. But i don't know. I don't know if i'm ready to believe in God again. Especially now.

Right after my car accident my mom said, "God is looking out for you, he protected you". It didn't make me feel better. But i just loved how simple it was. And i wish i could have faith like that. That in the midst of such terrible things, God is there, watching, protecting.

But how could he? How could he protect me and let others die? How is my life any more important than hers was?

But you want it to be true. You want her to be happy, alive, in heaven. How can life just end? It's the most real thing we can experience. The only thing we can experience. And when it's gone, then what?

I hope that no matter where she is, that she's in peace, and that her life will serve as more than just her life, that it can inspire and help those around her. I know that she will never be forgotten, but i hope that her life had some purpose, and that it won't be lost on us.