i am trying with all of my heart to do my best at university. yet im sitting here, in a lot of pain and unable to concentrate or think about anything. i dont know what im going to do.. i have work to do, but my body is falling apart, and it's not cooperating.

my pain and symptoms are getting worse. now my right ear is hurting frequently. i even noticed some buzzing and whatnot this morning. i need medication, but i dont have very much money to be able to buy some.. not that it even helps. i've already cut down my food budget insanely.. and numerous people have been commenting on how thin i look [im already skinny to begin with].

how do you all cope with leading "normal" lives?

i seriously feel like im at the end. i have had enough of this pain and problems, and i just dont have the strenght to cope anymore.

when i think about my bf, i feel so sad that he has to deal with me and my problems. he should be out having the time of his life, and being with chicks who can do so much more for him than i can. he loves me, tho, and, for some reason, wants to stay with me. he's really the only positive thing in my life right now.

my life has not turned out like i wanted it, and there's nothing i can do about it. im sad all of the time, and what's the point? what is the point of my life? i cannot contribute to society, since i cant talk or function normally.

oh god. my bloody head is throbbing and i cant think.

i wish my god wasnt so lame and would actually perform miracles or heal people.

*sigh*

sorry for the rant.

- saaraah.

[This message has been edited by saaraah (edited 09-11-2003).]

[We must try to avoid words suggestive of profanity with asterisks or other characters etc. Writing something like "but my body is falling apart", is better. Thanks.]

God is not dead....he is surely alive and he can heal people....to those that look to him in faith. I am one of those people that God did healed me. But it was for something else that was going on in my life because I was at the end of my rope....but he completely heal me of that particular situation at that time. So, he still does healing....he is no respector of persons.....he will heal anyone that will open up their heart to him....

How do you cope with pain in your life? Well, getting the proper treatment helps....are you currently wearing a splint or are you waiting for one?

It's really important that you can find someone you can talk to about your pain.....a close friend, your bf,or maybe the counselor at the university. That's what they are there for....to help anybody in any kind of problem they are having, since you mentioned it's hard to concentrate because of your pain. Just talking about your situation to anyone who will understand will help you in some way. Don't isolated yourself from your friends.....you need them....you got to try to be a friend to yourself as well....it's hard...but just hang in there.

I feel your pain as I am also a university student...was pre-med but now am considering a less rigorous occupation...may not be a bad thing now that I've been exposed to a number of divorced or suicidal interns/doctors.

Sorry if you already answered this question but how long have you had TMJ and has it got worse/better/stable throughout this period?

Sarah, I'm sorry you're feeling so awful, I've only had TMJ for about 7 weeks as far as I know, but I've definitely been there too. TMJD seems to be such an unfair and - shapeless - disorder, disconcertingly manifest in different ways and for different reasons so we don't know what to expect. I have ear problems too and I've learnt that noise makes the whole joint worse, in me loud noise alone starts spasms in my face, so I've leant to do my best to avoid it and I use soft foam earplugs if I can't (like my neighbour's music is constant and I can't do much about that), I know earplugs aren't great for the ears but if you have inner ear inflammation then keeping that as much as possible (noise causes I realized for me anyway further inflammation and vibration) down can maybe prevent more irritation of the joint. I'm also taking EFA's (they help bring down inflammation) in every form I can, Vit E, cod liver oil, EPO, salmon oil, plus L-lysine (good for cartilige and overall immunity), magnesium and calcium. Diet is really important, so don't starve!

Also some things that have seemed to help me just in the last few days may help someone else, for example I found a site with simple jaw excercises and doing them has possibly together with using moist heat (heating pad or hot water with dampened towel for ten mins three times a day) have been what I've changed recently and the pain has gone down. It is 'stevedds jaw exercises' (not posting the link as there are some further links on it promoting products but a google search would find it I think), there is what to me was helpful info re TMJD and what can help on the site, though many may find it a bit elementary maybe. It has a positive outlook which helped me feel more in control, that I can take control of this.

Why do you think you have TMJD, it seems hard to find causes but they have to be there, and by addressing certain things like night grinding you can hopefully really minimize them.

thank you everyone for responding. i was [and still am] in a dark point in my life; my pain has progressed beyond my "normal" everyday pain that i can generally cope with to bad bad pain. im hoping things will get better, and that this is just a temporary slump.

cheryllynn24 - my next appointment with dr. rondeau is on sept. 24th.

sandra - i've just begun the process of seeing [yet another] health professional. this time, a couple of people on the board have seen this dentist. he follows the neuromuscular approach, and i'll more than likely be fitted for a splint. so far, ive just gotten diagnostic tests done.

i've seen 1 psychologist and 1 social worker/counsellor. the funny thing is that im majoring in psych at school, so i already know exactly what they're going to tell me about how to feel better. i know the theories, but i cant seem to implement them. also, when i visit those people, it requires talking.. which causes pain.. which causes me to feel bad emotionally.. which causes me to visit them again. it's a stupid cycle.

i do appreciate this forum, tho, because everyone is so intelligent and concise. and i can basically let my heart out here. thank you all.

michelle w - i've been thru the gamut concerning treatments. i've pretty much done all of the conservative/irreversible treatments that are suggested. i've had frequent migraines since i was 7, which started off everything. since i was 12, tho, i've been treated for TMJD.. well, at first, it was for bruxism. i've seen/done PT, nightguard, chiropractor, massage, osteopathy, numerous medications [botox, migrane meds, anti-inflammetories, anti-depressants, etc etc], psychologist, etc etc.

now im hoping that a NM splint will help me. i really really hope it will.

again, i thank you for your suggestions.. i'll definitely try them out.

Hi Sarah,
Just wanted to pop in to let you know you are soooo not alone in this. I relate completely to all you are going through. I was working on my Masters (almost done) in school counseling -- but had to take a leave of absence from my studies - thanks to this "challenge" we all face. It's very hard for others to comprehend what a battle this is - dealing with a misunderstood - and unpredictable condition that causes massive chronic daily pain. I've overcome Breast Cancer (and agressive surgeries w/reconstruction) -- This was 2+ years ago when I was 37 yo (with 2 children), and somehow that was easier to cope with than this Jaw nonsense. People really respond to the word Cancer.

Please hang in there... we are certainly here for you to turn to when things get ultra-tough. When I was in college in my early 20s I suffered with ulcerative colitis. I remember how it felt to sit in class with pain and spasms -- and the need to run out of the classroom as well. Again...this tmj stuff seems even more insidious to me. I also have a lot of other joint/spine problems...so maybe it's all compounded for me.

By the way... you said it all began with horrible migraines when you were 7 or so. Do you know what triggered that bout of chronic headache for you??

Also...are you very flexible in your joints - tmj and other.... do they crack/subluxate on their own easily? How about the jaw...is it deviating and "moving" irregularly as far as you know?

Hang in there Sarah... you will overcome this. You seem to be such a bright and caring person. Just go one day at a time (or as I do...one minute at a time)!!
Sending good wishes your way, RR

robynrose - i really dont know the reason why i started to get migraines when i was 7.. i've racked my brain and memories, but i cant seem to figure out.

at the time, doctors thought they were "normal" headaches, but, now that i look back, i recognize the symptoms and know that they were true migraines.

my twin brother used to also get headaches a lot, but he's seemed to "out grow" them.

my joints arent very flexible.. you mean double-jointed, right? if so, im definitely not flexible.. at all. hehe. my jaw is not moving irregularly either. however, it does deviate.

btw, when i saw my new dentist, dr rondeau, i was told that headaches as a child is the first sign of TMJD. because i [apparently] have an underdeveloped mandible, that could have contributed to it, too. so who knows.. it's a mystery to me..

Hi again sarraah,
It is a mystery why these things manifest. I also had headaches as a kid...and was actually "accused" of having tmj when I was a teen. I had no pain at that point - so I thought the dentist was nuts - Especially when he wanted to sell me a splint! I always had near perfect teeth and bite - and as a vain teenager didn't dream of wearing any type of appliance.

Anyway.. I know this isn't easy - Try to be really kind to yourself. Find time to enjoy peaceful moments when you aren't in awful pain. I try to be proactive in things I can control...but I know there is so much we can't with this.

I hope Dr. R has some good treatment plan in store for you. He has had some really good results from what I've read here. Keep in touch... and let us know how you are doing. The fact that you aren't "hypermobile" is a good thing. Seems those with nm splints who don't have overly lax ligaments do better. The muscles can be addressed, and then the joint/disc has a good shot at finding normal function.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by saaraah:
[B]
i wish my god wasnt so lame and would actually perform miracles or heal people.

*sigh*

sorry for the rant.

- saaraah.

[This message has been edited by saaraah (edited 09-11-2003).]

Hi Sarah:
I know exactly how you feel about thinking God doesn't care what is happening with you and thinking he could help you if he only wanted to because I have said those very same words many times. I have had TMJ for about 23 years and struggled for a long time and I felt God didn't care either but a few months ago when I was on the verge of ending my life I found a new orthodontist to treat my TMJ. I prayed to God and I cried out to him in desperation because of the pain I was in. I am on a very limited budget myself. I got my new splint about 2 months ago and right away my symptoms began to lessen. I now feel so much better. I'm almost back to my old self and I consider it a miracle after so long suffering. I had given up on the concept that miracles actually happen but I now totally believe in them again. And Sarah, I believe it can happen for you too. Hang in there, you are worth it.
Tiffany