Dear Madelyne, I thought you were the good one!!! I loved that lamp! I was willing to pay big bucks just to have it! I told my own children what horrible things would rain down on their heads if anything happened to it! When you dove on the table and lost your footing (you are not a graceful kitten!) I saw it tipping, and it was like a movie scene..everything went slow motion..the lamp wobbling, me yelling noooooooo and trying to get to it, then it hitting the floor, smashing into more pieces than I thought it could. At least you didn't look proud as your brother did when he destroyed the drapes, but then you performed the encore of racing up stairs, diving on my dresser and wiping out all my Knick Knacks and picture frames. I surrender..you 2 will have my house in a pile of rubble before I find you homes !

Signed,The lady bubble wrapping everything

PS..It is 93 degrees, I don't have air..quit sleeping on my darn face!

I recently found and bought a lovely lace tablecloth at my favorite thrift store. Never mind that it was only $10, I love it. But I didn't put it on the table for several days for exactly that reason until I remembered that none of my three have been on that table for a while. Not because they don't want to but because they have gotten older. They are now 12, 11, and 10 years old so they don't even try to jump that far anymore. Thank goodness; there are benefits to older kitties.

Oh cat. Look. I love you to death, cat. Why else would I keep buying you expensive canned food to treat you in addition to the dry food that's always out? And I know you adore that food - you shove your face right in the dish and inhale it like you haven't been fed in weeks!

But while I love you dearly, I really don't love when you eat so fast that you then proceed to deposit your just-inhaled food on the floor in a disgusting heap. And I REALLY don't love when you stand over it, pawing disdainfully at the floor as if trying to cover it up, so I can't clean it up before it dries into the carpet. You only weigh twelve pounds, cat, and I weigh a hundred and two, so don't look so offended when I bodily move you away from the mess.

Get over it, cat. And please eat a little bit slower, will you?

Dear Rika the Angry Fluff,

Why in the seven bloody hells do YOU not eat canned food or treats?! I would be very happy if you would even deign to push it away with a paw and walk off! Or even sniff it! But no, you avoid it like it threatened to give you a bath! You picky little ball of angry fluff! You're just lucky you're adorable and I don't mind when you try to eat my spicy crisps...but please keep your head out of the bag next time, you little brat.

What in the world did you get into last night? Your poor paw pad is torn and bloody. I'm sorry about the vet but it was necessary. Nice guilt job with the crying though. Luckily he doesn't think there is anything stuck in it and gave you a pain shot and antibiotics. Don't give me looks when I don't let you outside for the next couple of days. Until you stop limping or lifting your paw you are on lockdown inside.

I realise that as a young rotty, you have lots of energy. Far more than I can burn off by taking walks every morning. However -- this does not mean you need to try and dig Australia's newest open sky mine in the backyard every morning.

So far, your deepest attempt in only a metre, and the rhumba that your tail and backside were doing as the only visible part of you out of the hole was cute. But it has to stop! If you dug up near the dead tree stump, we wouldn't mind, but you insist on digging right in the middle of the drive, and if I don't find and fill one in time, we're going to break an axle.

In short -- you aren't contracted to a mining company, and there's no ores of ANY sort in the yard. So please, enough digging already!

The shovel wielder.

Logged

Good news! Your insurance company says they'll cover you. Unfortunately, they also say it will be with dirt.

My head is not for sleeping on. For that matter, my pillow is for my head, not for you. I'm already having respiratory issues (which are much better now after my first day on antibiotics and steroids!) and having a face full of cat does not help.

I am forcing Mommy to come out of lurkdom to send you this message. Tell your Mommy to spread your yummy gushy food on a big plate. My Mommy does this with my gushy foods to force me to slow down. It helps to keep the yummys in my tummy.

How in the world did you know that I intended to take you and Momo to the vet's office? I didn't even say the words vet, shot or cat carrier. Heck, I didn't even make a move towards the closet where the carriers are kept. And yet there you were, hiding under the bed refusing to come out. Luckily, Momo is a bit dim and couldn't figure out why you were hiding out.

From she who begs for forgiveness for the horrible vet visit transgression.

Dear Kimmie-cat,Oh our silly owners think we don't know, but we can read minds. Next time, if your food giver gets you out from under the bed, do what we do..grow 6 more legs and spread them all out so they can't get you in the carrier.

Not-Furry One is already threatening to mash my food to the bottom of my dish so I have to WORK at it. I like the plate idea better. I will pass it on, along with a good dose of my very favorite kitty stinkeye that she would even THINK about making me WORK for my food. Hmph.

The hoomans at the vet's will take good care of you and probably give you better gooshyfood than I do. They will put you two in a large place because Mommy said both of you will cry if you can't find the other (even on the other side of a door ). You'll have a nice blanket to sleep on, and supervised stretch-out time in a big room. It's going to be OK! It really wasn't necessary to yowl in harmony in the waiting room so loudly that people from the back came out to see what was going on.

With that said...your dishes with the remains of your breakfasts look so lonely. It's too quiet in here. I miss you guys.

Thank you very much for not horking up your canned food yesterday. And while it pains me to praise you for waking me up with your horking this afternoon, thank you for at least not horking up anything SOLID.

But did you really have to hork up liquid on my carpet? Cat, you know I can't see liquid on the shag carpet. That stuff looks no different no matter what you spill/drop/whatever on it.

I'm really not happy that I keep stepping in it. It's too dingdangity hot for shoes.

Please to be stopping with the hork. Or at least do it in the kitchen. And don't wake me after I've spent all night unable to breathe and FINALLY got some sleep.

Dear Rika,Thank you for not having a touchy stomach. Also thank you for letting me gently pin you down and brush the mats out of your belly fur. You're such a good fluff.