Lady Gaga Is So Mayo

Obviously.

If Lady Gaga's "Telephone" video proves anything—besides what Tarantino movies look like through burning cigarette glasses—it's that Lady Gaga is very persuasive. Not only did she get Beyoncé to portray a short-circuiting robot (and, as we all know, malfunctioning-robot-Beyoncé is the best Beyoncé), but she apparently also convinced Miracle Whip to pay her to equate their product with poison.

At least nine different brands make appearances in the nine-minute music video, from Gaga's own Heartbeats headphones to a "Beats Limited Edition" laptop, from HP Envy to "telephone" partner Virgin Mobile, and from Miracle Whip and Wonder Bread to Diet Coke.

But despite the cornucopia of products, only a handful were paid placements, said Gaga's manager, Troy Carter, CEO of Coalition Media Group.

Mr. Carter told Ad Age that several of the brands were Gaga's ideas and did not pay to be included... Another sequence, in which Gaga poisons a whole diner full of patrons, is interspersed with footage of the singer making sandwiches with Wonder Bread and Miracle Whip. Mr. Carter said Gaga wanted to juxtapose the poison sequence with all-American brands, and suggested Wonder Bread for an unpaid placement. Miracle Whip, meanwhile, made a paid appearance to appear in the clip. A Miracle Whip spokeswoman confirmed the brand's paid integration, but didn't comment further. The product shots feature new Miracle Whip packaging, and seem the latest in a series of Gen-Y outreach maneuvers, including a new campaign promising "we will not tone it down."

"We are Miracle Whip, and we make sandwiches so unappetizing they're deadly." That's so mayo, Miracle Whip. I'm sure the next time Gen Yers want to do the world a favor and poison Tyrese, they'll reach for the sandwich-fixin that really speaks to their generation (and that also disguises that cyanide aftertaste): Miracle Whip.

Still, if nothing else, Miracle Whip should see a sales spike in late October when everyone is putting together their Lady Gaga costumes for Halloween. After all, accessories really make the costume, and buying a squeeze bottle of Miracle Whip, a loaf of Wonder Bread, and two yards of semi-opaque latex is a lot easier than covering a rotary phone with hair and gluing it to a yellow wig.