(a week after Richard touched my hair and made me cry, I stood in line behind Dave Eggers at a coffee shop in Silverlake. And didn’t say anything because I can’t be trusted not to cry/faint/swoon/blather.)

But, like everyone, there are some amazing people I’d love to befriend and whose life advice I covet. Since I can’t/won’t ever drink a vodka gimlet with these ladies, I’ve gathered up some great advice from them and I’m going to pretend it’s directed at me and my life in particular. You are welcome to do the same.

Life advice from Michelle Obama

Do not bring people into your life who weigh you down.

You may not always have a comfortable life and you will not always be able to solve all of the world’s problems at once but don’t ever underestimate the importance you can have because history has shown us that courage can be contagious and hope can take on a life of its own. Do not bring people in your life who weigh you down. And trust your instincts … good relationships feel good. They feel right. They don’t hurt. They’re not painful. That’s not just with somebody you want to marry, but it’s with the friends that you choose. It’s with the people you surround yourselves with.

Life advice from Anne Lamott

Your problem is how you are going to spend this one and precious life you have been issued. Whether you’re going to spend it trying to look good and creating the illusion that you have power over circumstances, or whether you are going to taste it, enjoy it and find out the truth about who you are.

It’s funny: I always imagined when I was a kid that adults had some kind of inner toolbox full of shiny tools: the saw of discernment, the hammer of wisdom, the sandpaper of patience. But then when I grew up I found that life handed you these rusty bent old tools – friendships, prayer, conscience, honesty – and said ‘do the best you can with these, they will have to do’. And mostly, against all odds, they do.

Life Advice From Tina Fey

Don’t waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions; go over, under, through, and opinions will change organically when you’re the boss. Or they won’t. Who cares? Do your thing, and don’t care if they like it.

So, my unsolicited advice to women in the workplace is this. When faced with sexism, or ageism, or lookism, or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: “Is this person in between me and what I want to do?” If the answer is no, ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used doing your work and outpacing people that way. Then, when you’re in charge, don’t hire the people who were jerky to you.

Lesson learned? When people say, “You really, really must” do something, it means you don’t really have to. No one ever says, “You really, really must deliver the baby during labor.” When it’s true, it doesn’t need to be said.Whatever the problem, be part of the solution. Don’t just sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles.

Life advice from Amy Poehler

You deserve love and you’ll get it.

As you navigate through the rest of your life, be open to collaboration. Other people and other people’s ideas are often better than your own. Find a group of people who challenge and inspire you, spend a lot of time with them, and it will change your life.

Don’t treat your heart like an action figure wrapped in plastic and never used. And don’t try to give me that nerd argument that your heart is a ‘Batman’ with a limited-edition silver bat-erang and therefore if it stays in its original packing it increases in value.

Try to keep your mind open to possibilities and your mouth closed on matters that you don’t know about. Limit your ‘always’ and your ‘nevers.’

I cannot stress enough that the answer to life’s questions is often in people’s faces. Try putting your iPhones down once in a while, and look in people’s faces. People’s faces will tell you amazing things. Like if they are angry, or nauseous or asleep.

Who are you imaginary celebrity BFFs? And what are some of the best, smartest things they’ve said?

17 Comments

I'm right there with you – if I could make Tina Fey and Amy Poehler my celebrity BFFs, I think my life would be complete (although I think Tina would be weirded out that I called my cat after her…).

I'd also love to hang out with Emma Stone. One quote of hers that I love is 'You only live once and life is wonderful, so eat the damned red velvet cupcake' because that is basically my life philosophy. Maybe not a healthy one, but a happy one!

My favorite quote is from Kathleen Hanna about Beyoncé (two women I wish were my besties:

Beyoncé isn’t Beyoncé because she reads comments on the internet. Beyoncé is in Ibiza, wearing a stomach necklace, walking hand in hand with her hot boyfriend. She’s going on the yacht and having a mimosa. She’s not reading shitty comments about herself on the internet, and we shouldn’t either. I just think, Would Beyoncé be reading this? No, she would just delete it, or somebody would delete it for her. What I really need to do is close the computer and then talk back to that voice and say, Fuck you. I don’t give a shit what you think. I’m Beyoncé. I’m going to Ibiza with Jay-Z now, fuck off. Being criticized is part of the job, but seeking it out isn’t. That’s our piece to let go.

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