SHEEP'S PANTS: Wanna be a stand-up superstar, guys? Just stay clean-shaven, smile sweetly and keep the jaw-droppingly filthy miniskirt jokes coming. What, that covers a third of you? Maybe Mitch Fatel just has superb timing and important friends. However he rose to the top, the silencer of late-night talk show audiences is at the Addison Improv all weekend. 8PM.

TWO EVILS: One's usually expensive by the bottle, and the other makes you fat. But with a cube of the right cheese and a measure of moderation, wine and beer turn into an entirely different experience. Allow the two vices to square off once and for all at the Wine vs. Beer Smackdown!, a pairing class presented by Scardello Artisan Cheese. Check here for registration info. 7PM.