Man Orders Penis Enhancer Online, Receives Magnifying Glass

Throw away those pills and pumps! A new penis enhancing device is on the market that when used properly is guaranteed to make your member appear larger. It will also make you toes, fingers land even that paperclip on your desk grow in size when utilized,The Star reports.

A Malaysian man received a big shock when he opened the package for the penis enhancing apparatus he ordered online only to find an ordinary magnifying glass.

Unsatisfied, the man, who is identified only as "Ong," took his case to the government.

"When he received the package, he was shocked to find a magnifying glass inside," said MCA Public Service and Complaint Bureau chairman Datuk Seri Michael Chong, adding that "the instructions that came with the package merely read ’Do not use in sunlight’,"

A local lawyer ironically named Alex Kok seemed less than optimistic about Ong’s chances of getting his money back, due to the dubious nature of the business.

"It is especially hard is there is no proof of purchase, such as receipts" Kok noted, adding that "We wouldn’t know who to sue or where and how to sue them."

For now, until a reputable penis enhancing device can be purchased online, it is probably best for Ong to save his cash, drop his pants and look in a side view mirror where "objects appear larger than they are."

In what may be the contest no man wants to win, owners of the New York boroughs’ tiniest schlongs will gather on June 14 at a Bushwick’s Kings County Bar for the second annual Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant.

Forty gay couples in South Dakota applied to be married during the first month following a landmark U.S. Supreme Court decision that legalized such unions across the country, according to data provided by the state Department of Health.