The Myths Surrounding Sexual Assault

posted 27 Nov 2010, 07:14 by Sam Mbale
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updated 27 Nov 2010, 07:15
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Rape is NEVER okay and is NEVER the fault of the victim. Ofthe many myths surrounding sexual assault, the one that putsany blame at all on the victim is perhaps the worst.Unfortunately, there are many other myths. Yet the truth ofthe matter is that any sexual encounter that is not ofmutual consent is, in fact, rape.

Another myth of sexual assault is that it is about sex.Rape is a violent act of power, anger, even hate acted outthrough a sexual encounter chosen as a means of control bythe perpetrator. It really has nothing to do with "havingsex".

The myth that sexual assault is a crime of desire ispathetic. Any form of assault is about power, hate, anger,violence. These are not words that describe love or caring.

One of the definitions of passion is "violent anger" socalling rape a crime of passion may have some truth to it.We think of passion as a strong feeling of love or sexualdesire, but we don't usually equate violence with passion.So in using the statement that rape is a crime of "passion",the only true definition that fits that statement is the oneof passion being "violent anger".

There is also the myth that sexual predators attack and rapebecause they never have sex with an intimate partner. Thisis not true. Many a rapist will live a normal life in theeyes of others, being married and having normal sexualrelations with his wife or partner. They seek out victimsto abuse to fulfill some sick gratification they attain fromintimidating and degrading another human being. They chooseto seek out victims to control, humiliate and hurt.

One myth that everyone wants to believe is that it is easyto spot a rapist because they look creepy, have shifty eyes,maybe are dirty or look angry. We would like to believe thisbecause it would be easy for us to avoid an assault if wejust had to stay away from men who looked suspicious.Wrong. Many rapists are friendly in passing and could evenbe your next door neighbor always willing to help out intime of need.

A rapist can come from various backgrounds, races and ages.He can be the handsome stranger asking for help because of a"broken" arm or leg, the 19 yr old offering to help carryyour groceries in the house for you, the kindly man askingto use your phone because his car broke down. Never letyour guard down around anyone who sends any kind of vibesthat makes your intuition stumble a little. Trust your gutfeelings. Don't try to ignore the apprehensive feeling thatsuddenly overwhelms you.

Another myth that is not true is that women secretly want tobe raped. No one wants to be the victim of a violentassault. If a woman doesn't fight back, it is eitherbecause she is afraid that by fighting she will infuriatethe assailant even more or because she is frozen by herfear. It is never because she has some secret desire to beraped.

The crime of rape is life-changing and some will neverrecover from it. Committing suicide is seen by some victimsas their only escape from the mental torment.

Of course the best scenario is to never become a victim of asexual assault. Always pay attention to your gut instinctand be tuned in to all that is happening around you. Have aplan. Carry a weapon such as pepper spray or a stun gun. Apersonal alarm is another option for scaring off anassailant and attracting attention to your situation withits loud scream.

And always know that any forced sexual encounter is not allright under any circumstance and that is NOT a myth.

About the Author:

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