Hello. I have a tip question about our photographer. My photographer (the owner of the business) is bringing along an assistant photographer/shooter. Do I tip the assistant photographer and if so, how much. Also, do I tip the main photographer or wait until after I've received the pictures??? If I do tip, how much should it be?

I would love help in this department too. Along with photographers, what's the average tip for caterers and their staff (I think mine is bringing 5), DJ, florist, bartender, tent company and videographer? I've gotten so many different figures for each one from different people...

I was under the impression that if the person owns the business that you do not tip them. I did not tip the wait staff as it was built into the fees that we paid the venue. My DJ and Florist own their business so I did not tip them. I tipped my hair and makeup person, since they do not own the salon. I tipped them 20%.

I was under that same impression too, but our caterer mentioned that his waitstaff is typically tipped ~$100 each (I was a little floored to be honest) because they do a lot of the setting up and breaking down for a tented wedding. My make-up women is indepenent and working as a Mark-Kay consultant and my hair dresser is coming on her own and not associated with the salon for this particular day. My florist owns the shop she works out of, and the videographer is a francelancer starting up his own business. My photographer also own their own business. The onyl working for a company is my DJ. My confusion lies within the fact that technically I don't think I need to tip any of them (except the DJ), but I also don't want to look cheap. Is there a "token tip" that is acceptable or should I just do the "all or nothing" thing?

I was under that same impression too, but our caterer mentioned that his waitstaff is typically tipped ~$100 each (I was a little floored to be honest) because they do a lot of the setting up and breaking down for a tented wedding. My make-up women is indepenent and working as a Mark-Kay consultant and my hair dresser is coming on her own and not associated with the salon for this particular day. My florist owns the shop she works out of, and the videographer is a francelancer starting up his own business. My photographer also own their own business. The onyl working for a company is my DJ. My confusion lies within the fact that technically I don't think I need to tip any of them (except the DJ), but I also don't want to look cheap. Is there a "token tip" that is acceptable or should I just do the "all or nothing" thing?Posted by kinga9

I typically only tip people who perform personal services -hair, makeup, etc. Servers working for a caterer are not the same as servers in a restaurant IMO. Servers in a restaurant make less than minimum wage and thus get tipped 20%. Most caterers seem to pay in the $7 and $10 range, which is adequate IMO. I would not have tipped my servers b/c I deemed them amply paid. My dad, however, ran around tipping people, so I have no idea how much they got tipped. He did the same w/ the band.

The photographer is not providing you w/ a personal service, no matter how personal the photos are to you. I would not tip either him or the assistant. Same w/ the person running the venue. If your caterer doesn't think his servers are paid appropriately, he can adjust his contract in the future. Tipping them $100 each is insane. I would have been hard pressed not to laugh if someone told me that. I didn't tip the florist either. When I get flowers delivered on a random Tuesday, I don't tip the person who delivers them or the cashier if I buy them in a shop. I'm already paying a premium for wedding flowers so why would I tip on top of that? They charge a delivery fee for a reason - to pay the deliver guy or gal. If you don't want to tip on top of that, you should not feel that you have to.

Tipping for weddings gets out of hand real fast. Vendors may expect tips, but they that's their problem. I paid what I was charged on time and w/o fuss. I tipped the people who provided personal services [hair] just like I would if it were not my wedding. I don't run around slipping tips to everyone on a daily basis so the wedding should be no different. People charge a fee for services - if they don't think that fee is high enough, then they need to adjust it, not expect me to make up the difference b/c Martha Stuart or MSN tells me that people are tipping X amount for wedding services.

Kar, you can't imagine the look on my face when I heard that! Way back when I used to work for a catering company who did weddings and I don't remember getting anything, nevermind a $100! I did google some stuff, and I've looked on all the trusted sites and they all vary by so much. I did look specifically at Cape Cod sites as well, and they all suggested large percentages for those wokring for companies that they did not own.

Caringteacher, I apologize for taking over your original post...after thinking about it, I think the assistant should get something small. The owner, however, probably not.

In Response to Re: Tip Question : I typically only tip people who perform personal services -hair, makeup, etc. Servers working for a caterer are not the same as servers in a restaurant IMO. Servers in a restaurant make less than minimum wage and thus get tipped 20%. Most caterers seem to pay in the $7 and $10 range, which is adequate IMO. I would not have tipped my servers b/c I deemed them amply paid. My dad, however, ran around tipping people, so I have no idea how much they got tipped. He did the same w/ the band. The photographer is not providing you w/ a personal service, no matter how personal the photos are to you. I would not tip either him or the assistant. Same w/ the person running the venue. If your caterer doesn't think his servers are paid appropriately, he can adjust his contract in the future. Tipping them $100 each is insane. I would have been hard pressed not to laugh if someone told me that. I didn't tip the florist either. When I get flowers delivered on a random Tuesday, I don't tip the person who delivers them or the cashier if I buy them in a shop. I'm already paying a premium for wedding flowers so why would I tip on top of that? They charge a delivery fee for a reason - to pay the deliver guy or gal. If you don't want to tip on top of that, you should not feel that you have to. Tipping for weddings gets out of hand real fast. Vendors may expect tips, but they that's their problem. I paid what I was charged on time and w/o fuss. I tipped the people who provided personal services [hair] just like I would if it were not my wedding. I don't run around slipping tips to everyone on a daily basis so the wedding should be no different. People charge a fee for services - if they don't think that fee is high enough, then they need to adjust it, not expect me to make up the difference b/c Martha Stuart or MSN tells me that people are tipping X amount for wedding services. Posted by ALF72

I have worked for various caterers in the past, and I will tell you they are lying through thier teeth when they say the staff receives a tip from a portion on the bill, the owners take that money for themselves. Some caterers don't pay an hourly rate, you get a flat rate of say 65.00 for the entire night, and you could be there for 7 hours or 11 hours and still get 65.00. If you brides have particualarly complicated table setting, lots of decorations, etc....you should tip the catering staff, as they are the ones who end up setting the stuff up, above and beyond the norm. I've had tips that range from $25.00 to $100.00 from the couple, it just depends upon the individual.

If you are having an open bar, you always tip your bartenders, 15-20% of the consumption of the bar. You want people to have fun at your wedding, that usually comes from multiple trips to the bar...if I'm not getting a tip a the end of the night, the drinks are made a lot weaker than I normally would make them, and I'm not going to replenish beer/wine/hard liquor that we've sold through. Your guests can make due with what we have left. My job is to serve drinks, yes, and that is what I am doing, but I'm not going to go above and beyond to perform stellar service if the bride and groom is not going to pay for it.

I have worked for various caterers in the past, and I will tell you they are lying through thier teeth when they say the staff receives a tip from a portion on the bill, the owners take that money for themselves. Some caterers don't pay an hourly rate, you get a flat rate of say 65.00 for the entire night, and you could be there for 7 hours or 11 hours and still get 65.00. If you brides have particualarly complicated table setting, lots of decorations, etc....you should tip the catering staff, as they are the ones who end up setting the stuff up, above and beyond the norm. I've had tips that range from $25.00 to $100.00 from the couple, it just depends upon the individual. If you are having an open bar, you always tip your bartenders, 15-20% of the consumption of the bar. You want people to have fun at your wedding, that usually comes from multiple trips to the bar...if I'm not getting a tip a the end of the night, the drinks are made a lot weaker than I normally would make them, and I'm not going to replenish beer/wine/hard liquor that we've sold through. Your guests can make due with what we have left. My job is to serve drinks, yes, and that is what I am doing, but I'm not going to go above and beyond to perform stellar service if the bride and groom is not going to pay for it. Its not just me, but many people in this industry feel the same way. Posted by incenced

Your argument doesn't even make sense. If you get a tip at the end of hte night, how on earth would you know if you are getting one during the event? If you are giving lackluster service during the event, why are you wondering why you don't get a tip at the end of hte night. A tip is for service that was provided - if you don't provide it, why on earth would someone tip you? Many brides and grooms have requested that no tip jars be put out b/c htey plan on doing tipping at the end of the night. Yet you are penalizing the guests b/c they don't leave a few ones on the bar when there is no jar and they may have been told in the invitation not to tip? Nice. No wonder why your tips are lacking.

Also, it is not the bride and groom's responsibility to 'make up the difference' if you work for a cheapskate. My reception was in a restaurant and I actually asked about the pay for the waitstaff before I made the decision not to tip on top of that [which made no difference b/c my dad ran around tipping people anyway]. Find a better paying job if you don't like the caterer your work for. Or work for a regular restaurant where tipping by the clientele is the norm. Tipping by wedding guests [which is what you are asking for w/ tips to the barstaff] is not the norm.

No I am asking for the BRIDE and GROOM to tip the people who are providing a service for them and their guests. The hall that I work at lets you know at the beginning of the night if there will be a tip on the job, as its discussed by the event coordinator and the couple. If I am working a wedding and am told it's open bar, and that I can put a tip jar out that means I am not getting a tip from the bride and groom. And wedding guests tend not to tip on their "free drinks." We are lucky if there is 50.00 to split between 2 bartenders on 2500.00 worth of sales. Open bar usually means a higher tab, because your guests keep ordering drinks they don't have to pay for, and I have more to clean up and more glassses to wash. Like I said....bare minimum. Bartending at a wedding works just like it does at a bar, you don't tip, you don't get stellar service.

When I have cash bars the tip jar is always full, and I go out of my way to make guests happy, but if you're not tipping, you get the bare minimum. Just because you are drinking for free, doesn't mean I don't want to work for free.

Glad I didn't have my wedding at that hall. It's typical for service workers' tips to be based on the quality of their service. If you are getting shoddy tips, it may be b/c you are giving shoddy service.

You are being paid to bartend. If you don't like your wages, look for a job elsewhere. If you give good service, you will get tipped in most instances. Weddings are different - the bride and groom are already being charged at least 2x what they would pay for the same food and services if they were having a family reunion in the same location. Also, I've gone to plenty of weddings where there was a tip jar out [b/c the bar tender didn't listen] and the bride and groom had fully intended to tip. I've seen wedding guests leave tips at open bars even when there was no tip jar out.

You may want to post the name of the hall where you work b/c I can pretty much guarantee that no bride will want to have her wedding there if the bartenders extort tips for decent drinks.

Glad I didn't have my wedding at that hall. It's typical for service workers' tips to be based on the quality of their service. If you are getting shoddy tips, it may be b/c you are giving shoddy service. You are being paid to bartend. If you don't like your wages, look for a job elsewhere. If you give good service, you will get tipped in most instances. Weddings are different - the bride and groom are already being charged at least 2x what they would pay for the same food and services if they were having a family reunion in the same location. Also, I've gone to plenty of weddings where there was a tip jar out [b/c the bar tender didn't listen] and the bride and groom had fully intended to tip. I've seen wedding guests leave tips at open bars even when there was no tip jar out. You may want to post the name of the hall where you work b/c I can pretty much guarantee that no bride will want to have her wedding there if the bartenders extort tips for decent drinks. Posted by ALF72

Its not just at that hall...its bartenders in general. We work for tips, if we know there is not a tip invovled (like I said, I know if I'm getting a tip BEFORE I even serve a drink, forget about us going above and beyond, you are getting the bare minimum of service, that still means I'll have a smile on my face and be freindly to your guests, but I'm not going out of my way for anything. You want stellar service, you pay for it. If there are tips invovled, drinks are good, we replenish beers that we've run low on. I'm being paid to bartend, yes, but not to provide stellar service. And if I know ahead of time that I'm not getting a tip I'm not going out of my way to provide extra service. People don't bartend at weddings out of the kindess of their own heart because they want to make sure your special day goes well...they bartend to make money. Why would I give the same service to people who aren't going to reward me for it, that I do to people who do reward me for it.

Hall policy of asking for tip before the service is provided is nonsensical. Service is rewarded. Until the service is provided, you don't know if it's worthy of a tip. When I walk into a bar and order a drink, how on earth would the bar tender know that I am or I'm not leaving a tip? I ask for a drink, they get it for me, and I pay for it [or set up a tab]. Until I get change back, I may not have any money for a tip. If I set up a tab w/ a credit card, I'm not giving a tip till I cash out. What you are saying is that I need to tip in advance before I order my drink so that I get stellar service. That makes no sense.

I would think it would be the rare circumstance where someone walks into a restaurant or bar and plans in advance not to tip. I expect to give a tip of 20% when I walk into a place. That may go up or down depending on the service. But I don't lay money on the table and add or subtract to ti as the night goes on.

I can see where at a restaurant bar, where you are sitting at hte bar, that you'd get better service if you tipped w/ every drink you ordered, esp if you were sitting there all night. But I'm generally at a table. My waitress goes to the bar and brings me my drinks w/ my dinner. Am I supposed to tip her extra in advance so she can grease the bartender so I don't get a weak drink? b/c if I get a weak drink, I'm not ordering a second. So if the waitstaff and the bartender in that establishment share tips based on drinks, you've just ensured that you both get smaller tips by giving me the weak drink b/c I"m going to leave earlier and not order as much as I otherwise would.

Honestly, I provide the same service to all clients in my profession, whether htey are rude, polite, or are going to add me to the their Christmas list. I get that waitstaff work for tips b/c they are paid less than minimum wage, but for most weddings, you are getting paid more htan you are at a restaurant, and people take that into account when deciding to pay a tip. If you are already getting better pay, don't expect to make bonus money [which is what a tip in those situations is]. If you don't want to work weddings b/c you think the bride and groom are cheap by not giving a tip when they are already being overchraged, then don't work weddings.

The question remains, how on earth do you know what kind of tip you're getting, if you get tipped at the end of the night? There is no possible way that you know, for sure, before you serve a drink unless you have a magic crystal ball.

People do tip for good service, but they don't like to be bullied into doing so. I would never tell someone upfront that they're getting $$ if they do a good job, because that's stupid. I watch how they serve and tip accordingly. If I see a bartender being lazy and get complaints that the drinks taste like dishwater, then any tip I had planned on giving would be swiftly returned to my wallet.

Likewise, if I had no intention of tipping someone and noticed he or she was doing an excellent job, then I might consider it to reward them for their efforts. That's how it should work.

That's what I don't like about any service establishment informing us that an 18% gratuity will be added to the bill. Tip should always be based on the quality of service rendered. Past tense, as ALF and RFBF pointed out.

In Response to Re: Tip Question : Its not just at that hall...its bartenders in general. We work for tips, if we know there is not a tip invovled (like I said, I know if I'm getting a tip BEFORE I even serve a drink, forget about us going above and beyond, you are getting the bare minimum of service, that still means I'll have a smile on my face and be freindly to your guests, but I'm not going out of my way for anything. You want stellar service, you pay for it. If there are tips invovled, drinks are good, we replenish beers that we've run low on. I'm being paid to bartend, yes, but not to provide stellar service. And if I know ahead of time that I'm not getting a tip I'm not going out of my way to provide extra service. People don't bartend at weddings out of the kindess of their own heart because they want to make sure your special day goes well...they bartend to make money. Why would I give the same service to people who aren't going to reward me for it, that I do to people who do reward me for it.Posted by incenced

Um, hows about because you are a professional? You should always be doing your best work, no matter what your job is. If someone chooses to tip you, or not, that is not relevant. Just typical of the lazy attitude of people thesedays....

Jobs are harder and harder to come by. Service-provider jobs are based on word-of-mouth about how good the person is at their job. If people think you are ever holding back then they will hire the person who genuinely enjoys their job, rather than fakes it for money. I mean, the latter is just prostitution.

Absolutely, incensed, you are an embarrassment to the service industry. You do your BEST all the time, and let people reward that with high tips they decide to give you due to your stellar service, not because you know you're getting a forced tip. I was a waitress, and I made awesome money. I smiled and cared about my clients' evenings going as perfectly and enjoyably as possible with no promise whatsoever of a tip beforehand. I routinely got well tipped once in awhile even at an unbelievable 50%.

We didn't have one of those free-for-all receptions. We had a lovely sit down dinner at Veronique restaurant. People could order what they wanted, but except for my husband, mostly it wasn't a drinking-much crowd. We ordered wine and a few people had cocktails. Husband, my Mum and I took care of the bill and the tips.

If I ever do get married again (God willing), no open bar there, either. I don't see why people have to booze it up on a day that's happy, anyway.

rdg, we had an open bar, but no one over-indulged - we knew our "crowd" so figured it would be a safe enough idea. I don't see the point of getting wasted, either. I'm happier sober, although I do enjoy a glass of wine with dinner (and maybe one during prep, too!).

In Response to Re: Tip Question : Its not just at that hall...its bartenders in general. We work for tips, if we know there is not a tip invovled (like I said, I know if I'm getting a tip BEFORE I even serve a drink, forget about us going above and beyond, you are getting the bare minimum of service, that still means I'll have a smile on my face and be freindly to your guests, but I'm not going out of my way for anything. You want stellar service, you pay for it. If there are tips invovled, drinks are good, we replenish beers that we've run low on. I'm being paid to bartend, yes, but not to provide stellar service. And if I know ahead of time that I'm not getting a tip I'm not going out of my way to provide extra service. People don't bartend at weddings out of the kindess of their own heart because they want to make sure your special day goes well...they bartend to make money. Why would I give the same service to people who aren't going to reward me for it, that I do to people who do reward me for it.Posted by incenced

I'm pretty much appalled by reading all of this right now. I was a bartender way back when and in no way did I EVER provide less-than-stellar service. If I had, it would have been a direct poor reflection on me, and you should consider it a poor reflection on you. If I didn't like one of my patients or their familes, do you think I would botch their surgery? I think you need to re-evaluate your priorities with your career and with yourself in general...having that self-righteous attitude will get you no where in life.