Tag Archives: life’s lessons

When you are trying to get someone to hear, acknowledge and/or validate your feelings it’s such a graceful place to be in if at the same time you can offer the same in return. Not everything is as it seems and of course not all views are the same. If you are unwilling to allow any room for someone to express and also be heard then how can you possibly justify expecting that from them in return? Communication from the foundation of love is truly the only way to resolve, any other mindset will block that doorway.

Even when the only option always seems like you are the one being the bigger person, be that person anyway, it keeps your soul clear of all effects that can negatively impact your state of being, living and existing. When you think of the personal teachings that are your soul’s existence, your own ideology, does it resonate with or against you when you aren’t allowing compassion? I think your answer to this question is yours alone and one that will help direct or re-direct you back onto the path toward your personal destiny, we all have one.

No one soul is better than another but your ego self and the energy you bring can change the direction of your life and who is drawn or deflected by it which inevitably determines the places you will go or are encouraged to return to. Pay attention to the energy you bring, it usually introduces you before you even say a word. Inauthenticity can be off-putting and is a controlling behaviour of the ego, open and warm energy is the natural projection of your soul.

When you are open and offer to be understanding and gracious during a time of conflict you create a space of freedom within speech, objectivity and vulnerability. This opens the lines of communication right down to the soul level and the opportunities for a deeper bond can transcend any negative boundaries that previously dominated the communication. Revealing your own vulnerability and authenticity may seem too open to being hurt but it is such a valuable extension of yourself towards others that you just can’t afford to suppress.

I feel it is when we are protecting our hearts so intensely that we end up closing the door to discovering something new, something possibly dreamy and inconceivable. You have no idea what you can potentially miss out on when you refuse to let others in because of past hurts that have colored or damaged your ability to have a healthy and spirited approach to trust.

We all have something to offer and share, sometimes your sadness and hurt can prevent you from remaining true to that faith.

It is really important to hold your faith through the challenges and successes that life brings your way as it is building you for your destiny. Even when a storm becomes so overwhelmingly cloudy and dark that it causes you to question your vision about the bigger picture, trust in the divine anyway. Nothing you can’t handle will come your way and everything does happen for a reason.

Your higher purpose and the greater good are a part of everyone’s journey, be intensely curious to discover yours!

Your negative experiences do not need to define or dictate the direction of your life. The only way they can is if you allow the views and/or perceptions of others to taint the colors that make up your palette of beautiful energy.

It’s hard enough at times to navigate through difficult experiences but when negative influences intrude and/or threaten your personal faith your ability to stand tall can be weakened. A continuation in negative experiences increases that breakdown in well-being when you don’t allow yourself time to fully process and heal.

Shedding the layers that no longer serve, define or fit so you can step back into natural alignment with your authentic self is the healing process that will bring you closer to living your best life. Most likely the beginning of this kind of process is motivated more out of necessity and you may have found yourself at the equivalent of an emotional “rock bottom” which is not as devastating in reality as you may be building it up to in your mind.

Your ego is not your friend and is the biggest deterrent for the connection between heart, mind and soul. Your ego will help your mind to create an abundance of insurmountable obstacles and no solutions all in the effort to control. The ego only serves the ego and seeks an exaggerated sense of importance. None of which is connected to your heart or spirit and none of which is necessary to your personal sense of well-being.

The layers that negative experiences apply to your soul neither define you nor are they valid. Shedding those layers of inconsistency from your soul is like taking off or getting rid of an old jacket that is no longer suitable, comfortable or flattering.

These experiences are not who you were, are or going to be and it’s time to start getting rid of that which no longer serves your higher purpose or being.

It begins with you, how you personally feel about yourself, your life and where it’s heading. Don’t be discouraged! Anything can be turned around for the better, you only lose if you don’t try or fail to see your options.

It’s important to always remember that your spirit is stronger than any difficulty coming your way, you are not given more than you can handle or more than you can master.

Your negative experiences are meant to build you greater than you may realize or imagine. Every person has a specific destiny here and some of the strongest lessons meant to lead you to your purpose are only awakened through great difficulty.

Your positive experiences are your blessings, the bonuses brought in to strengthen and encourage your inner spirit so you stay strong, faithful and humble in the face of adversity.

Don’t let the protective layers built by your experiences color or shade any part of your palette of beautiful energy. Let your inner light shine bright and sparkle with all the colors of your spirit!

You are a product of the environment that you grow through, all your lessons build and shape who you are to become so they are definitely essential. Even the more difficult experiences carry with them important elements of a plan that has not yet come to fruition. No one knows their life plan and what things will look like ten, twenty or thirty years down the road. Sure you may have ideas of what you want to see but how things actually turn out is really dependent upon how you play the hand you are dealt, how you process it internally and externally.

Your experiences and lessons are meant to challenge you to rise to the occasion and I guess the internal question to ponder is how are you doing with that? Are you allowing the experiences to define you or are you daring to rise up stronger? I can say with certainty that the lessons are not meant to tear you down to oblivion but instead to dismantle the elements you may have taken on that do no serve your spirit well, the elements you need to let go of or transform. Not everything we carry with us emotionally is meant to continue past the experience except to be a point of reference (a signpost) for developing awareness.

My lessons have been challenging but not so challenging that I couldn’t recover or find a new path and that’s not because they weren’t very difficult but rather because I refuse to let any difficulty break me. For sure they take time to go through and not every part of an experience is easy to step back from and be objective about but you need to be kind to yourself when you stumble. It’s easy to chastise yourself for allowing something to go farther than it should have when you believe you should have known better and the inner dialogue that results can only damage your self-worth and self-esteem. So the next time you are in the midst of a dilemma allow yourself a moment to step outside of that struggle, look at the experience as if you were providing an analysis or solution for a friend. If it wasn’t your experience what would you advise a friend to do? In that moment when you’ve stepped outside of it you’ve allowed yourself a little more objectivity and that can be very empowering in to finding resolution and/or a way to manage through to the end of the experience.

Fake it until you make it:

As difficult as some lessons feel keep telling yourself that you are loving them for the wisdom you know you are going to gain, embrace them even when they aren’t even remotely satisfying because without them you don’t get through to an ending, a closure. Every experience can have a positive side effect come out of it you just have to want to find it. It could be renewed strength, personal empowerment or an elevation of gratitude, many effects really. What you are looking for to define the experience (positive or negative) is exactly what you will continue to find every time you relive it. Your thoughts and how you perceive your experiences are entirely up to you, you can either lessen the damage or increase it, this is determined by the perspective you are encouraging.

When you talk about an experience you have the opportunity through your thoughts and words whether or not to let that experience be one that broke you or one that made you stronger, it’s your choice! I say fake it until you make it, maybe at the beginning of that conversation it feels like it broke you but what you can relate to others is that it didn’t break you but made you stronger. After a while of continuing to repeat those thoughts and words you begin to change the fabric of that story, you inevitably become stronger and while at the beginning you may have been faking it you are now making it true.

Stay present:

Not everything that happens to you occurs because of who you are, try not to take things too personally, I know at times that can be difficult but most often when you experience conflict it isn’t in direct relation to your lessons but maybe another’s, you may just be a part of their experience that is designed to awaken them.

It is a normal response to look for ways to escape the more difficult aspects in life, no one longs for difficulty or struggle but keep in mind it is a lot more taxing on the stress in your mind to resist the natural flow than to allow it. As easy as letting go sounds in theory, it can be extremely difficult to actually begin that process, it starts with acceptance and brings immediate relief. I think everyone at one time or another struggles with letting go, when I had the experience I hadn’t realized at that point how much effort it was taking from me to hold onto the resistance and how much relief I felt when I finally let things be.

Life’s ups and downs occur so you can develop boundaries, balance, happiness, clarity and direction.

Sometimes the necessity to find a way out when feeling overwhelmed can be the beginning of a new opportunity so it is important to stay present, eyes wide open.

It is important to me to learn from my past and look forward toward the future with hope while maintaining a strong presence in the now.

Connecting with others on a soul level is the most beautiful part of presence, don’t miss out pursue it passionately!

Listening to your soul whisperings is a connection that is always there but isn’t always heard. Life experiences can color and cloak how you interpret those signs and revelations. I don’t think you have an idea of who you really are or what you really want and why until you shed these layers. Your experiences are not meant to hold you back or limit your opportunities, they are meant to shape and prepare you for your greatness!

It isn’t until after one or possibly a few more heavy hearted experiences that you may start to wonder why your life is going in a direction you really don’t desire. Why do you keep ending up in relationships or situations that aren’t bringing out the best in you and why doesn’t it feel right in your heart?

Soul searching, silencing your mind and embracing the stillness so you can hear and feel your soul is the only way to true meaning and fulfillment. Once you begin to understand why and how you process your challenges you will find yourself thirsting to pursue this greater sense of clarity in all areas of your life and that will lead you to your true purpose.

When you know you know

This heightened awareness will come in at a time in your life when you are ready to move into a state of openness and willingness to look at where you’ve been to find a better path to where you’re going. Suddenly things start to become very clear and past issues that once held you back no longer carry the weight they did. The desire to let go of that which no longer serves you to embrace a more peaceful way of living comes to the forefront of your thoughts and you realize this is your crossroad.

Do I continue down this same path which isn’t really inspiring me with peace and happiness?

Or do I blaze a new trail?

These are your life changing moments and they propel you onto a new path, one that will allow you to get in touch with what really matters to you, which is really the most important question you can ask yourself. I would bet that the answer your ego would give versus the answer your soul would have would be as different as night and day. The ego wants you to feel fear and believe that you are unworthy, unlovable or cursed, that everything you hope or want for is unattainable and you don’t deserve it anyway. The soul wants you to know you are worthy, loved endlessly and have insurmountable opportunities ahead to chart any path you desire. When you are in alignment with your soul you will find your way to your true destiny, all the happiness you seek, the luxury of authentic/true connection with others and a sense of peace which all I can say is Zen!

True Meaning, hearing the voice within

What matters most?

What do you really want?

I think when you get to this place your thoughts are recharged and you begin to evaluate the things that matter most to you. You gain a new perspective and recognition for certain pieces of your life that shouldn’t have carried on for so long which allows you to finally let them go. You start to realize how much time you’ve wasted on experiences that shouldn’t have been giving so much of your power away. This isn’t to say that what weighs on your heart, mind or soul doesn’t matter but rather how much does it matter for you to lose precious time over or hold yourself back from having new and more healthier experiences that truly connect with your heart.

True Fulfillment, honoring the voice within

What inspires me?

Is it too late?

Heeding the call and allowing your inner voice to be acknowledged knowing how vulnerable that may leave you is a little frightening but in a good way. I think many view vulnerability as weakness but it is actually pure strength, it takes more strength to be vulnerable than it does to hide behind a false face. Vulnerability, while scary at times is also quite exhilarating because there is nothing left to bare, one cannot strip you down any further once you are already fully exposed so it allows you to increase your strength from your core.

Do you see what I see?

That door closed, stop staring at it, turn around and see the open window! Every ending has its sadness but it is also the beginning of something new, change is around the corner and if you spend too much time staring at that closed door you may miss noticing the window of opportunity that has opened just for you. Far too often we spend too much time focusing on what we had, what we’ve lost, what we sacrificed, what could have been different, all good points but what are you going to do now to change your direction? Your answers are connected to discovering what true meaning and true fulfillment mean for you, for me it means never giving up, never giving in and keeping my faith in all the things I have dreamed about. I am not a Dreamer, I am a Visionary!

New Year, New Life

I had thought that 2017 was going to be “the year” and as I’ve come to realize I think it was “the year” but not for the reasons I had initially thought, it was restless and the struggle to move forward seemed like one step forward, two steps back at times but I am labeling it the “year of enlightenment” and 2018 will produce the changes and manifestations of that enlightenment in a very positive way!

Everyone has their own special gifts, opportunities and magical connections destined but this is only after you’ve done your work. Sometimes when the opportunities come along you are in a funk and it’s just not going to happen and then when you feel you are ready the opportunity is no longer there. Don’t worry you didn’t miss it what is meant for you will never pass you by, if something didn’t happen at a time when you expected or wanted it’s because it really was not meant for you.

Everything happens for a reason and everything comes to you at the exact right moment so do your work, be ready and keep dreaming!

I know I’ve written about this very topic before but sometimes reminders are necessary, especially for me. When you get too involved in an emotion you end up creating the outcome of least desire whether you realize it or not. Law of attraction says what you think about most is what grows, so even if it’s something you don’t want when you give it more of your energy you end up keeping it alive and feeding it which helps it continue to grow and be a daily part of your life.

I do this at times and even though I realize I am feeding the wrong emotion and desired outcome sometimes it’s hard to turn it off. When you have an issue that weighs on your mind I think it’s natural to think about it more than needed and sometimes overthink it which brings about more of what you don’t want.

Do you ever end up over-analyzing, over-thinking, over-obsessing about all the wrong things only to realize in the end that your worry seemed to magnify your issues more than anything else? Does all that you were worrying about ever manifest the way you envision it? Most of the time it ends up being useless worrying that has caused the extra stress, usually everything works out ok and the thing that was stressing you out the most was you.

It’s so important for me and you (if you get stuck like this) to change the way you are looking at things because I can guarantee you every time I’ve done that it’s actually changed the way things are. Not for any other reason than the fact that I’ve removed the energy I’m giving to what I don’t want and putting it in the direction of what is better for me.

Get out of your own way by changing the way you are looking at things so that your life can start to fall into the places it’s meant to be. When you do this you will be amazed at how things change, it allows the things that were of such bother to you to drop in importance reducing what you don’t want and increasing the more positive aspects of your life so they can flourish as they are supposed to.

I know this sounds like it’s not really possible, especially if you have some huge issues going on but really when you take away the energy and time you put into the things you don’t want they start to diminish, maybe not immediately but over time (and I don’t mean years). In addition to the outward effect when you remove your energy from what you don’t want, you start to feel lighter and happier because not only was your energy feeding that negativity but it was draining you as well.

Freeing up the space of positive possibilities attracts more of the options you desire because as you move into a better space of thought you become more aligned with the Universe and your personal power and that is the energy you want to feed and grow.

It is only when you are in alignment with all things positive that your life will start to gravitate in the direction you desire. Learning to be aware of your thoughts and feelings so you can identify when you step onto the path of negative thinking will be a strong ally on your road of life and one you shouldn’t do without.

Always remember YOU are in control on what you think and what you feel, you can change both whenever you want simply by shifting what you are giving energy to with your focus. You can change anything aspect of your life you want simply by deciding to and at any moment. The questions you have to ask yourself are;

Are you willing to walk away from the darkness that hides your negative moments?

and

Are you ready to step into the light that catapults you to your positive life?

If you’ve truthfully, deep down in your soul answered yes to both than you’ve taken the first simple step, the decision. That’s usually the hardest part to address because while everyone wants to be happy, not all are ready to accept it without skepticism or questions.

There were so many before us that passed forth great wisdom for the purpose of making the world a better place. Below is a poem that was recently given to me, I had not seen it before but so much of the content resonated so strongly that I wanted to share it. It’s a really good wake-up to the call of your higher self and the real importance of this life.

If – Poem by Rudyard Kipling (1865 – 1936)

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master,

If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two imposters just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And stoop and build’em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with kings – nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,

And – which is more – you’ll be a Man, my son!

My take away from this poem is the value and importance of integrity, holding your head high in good times and in bad, keeping yourself from getting lost in the emotional aspects of life that are there to teach you your greatest and most difficult lessons. All the while remembering that which you came from and honoring your true self without giving in to fear. Trusting wisely but not loosely the value of all your relationships, specifically those that are properly balanced.

Nothing of great value or importance was created in a day, patience and hard work whether it takes longer than you’d like is always rewarded.

Don’t tell me how many battles you’ve won, tell me how many people you’ve forgiven!

I’m not sure who wrote this quote but I read it recently and it resonated with me immediately. My first thought was “Yes, that’s it exactly!” and the next thought was to wonder how many people are afflicted daily by the emotional prison that they trap themselves in as a result of not being able to embrace forgiveness.

Of course this isn’t to say that your emotional hurt is invalid but rather that it’s not necessary or fair to your inner spirit to carry it around with you like the badge of horror it can be. When you are unable to cross the line into forgiveness it doesn’t affect anyone as much as it does you. I think many people have a variety of reasons for holding on to a painful memory and while I’m sure the reason is valid it doesn’t mean it’s not having a negative effect on your life. It doesn’t mean the person you hold it against is being impacted in any way whatsoever and it doesn’t mean that by holding onto it that eventually retribution will come.

Easier said than done, believe me I know! When someone hurts you deeply it’s not just the emotional pain of the hurt but the emotional attachment you have to the person that has hurt you.

People you don’t have any attachment to can’t hurt you so much because they lack that personal connection. Those closest to you know where your soft spots of vulnerability are and you know theirs but it is because of a mutual trust that neither of you intentionally try to use them against each other. It is when trust is broken that hurt happens and that hurt can carry you into the mode of defense which raises your guard. The only thing that lowers that guard is honest and open communication and the willingness for resolve but sometimes that’s not an available option. So what do you do with all these feelings of hurt when there is no option for closure on the horizon?

I’m sure everyone (including myself) has asked these questions “how could you do this to me?”, and “why don’t you care?”, “how can you just go on in your life like nothing about this mattered?” Most often there is some sort of falling out or ending and if it’s the latter then I don’t think it’s likely you’re going to find the answers you would like for closure and without closure how do you let go and move on?

I’ve found that distance from a difficult experience, a break or mental vacation from it can be a temporary enough solution to help you put some space between your hurt and your emotions so you can find the positives from it, there are always positives, you just have to want to see them. Sometimes it may be a while until you see the wisdom behind the experience but eventually that “aha” moment peaks when you least expect it but when most open to it.

If you aren’t able to have that space to heal I believe it just means that your healing will take a little longer. Dedication, understanding and compassion toward yourself for the extra time it may take is the kindness you need to extend to yourself until you get there.

Appreciate: recognize the full worth of, understand (a situation) fully, recognize the full implications of

Being able to step outside of an experience long enough to gain clarity is the best path to understanding the “true lesson” behind the experience.Appreciation even in the face of difficulty will build inner strength and character, it has to right? I mean what else could come from hurt, disappointment and mental anguish except to get back up, dust yourself off and become the stronger person you were meant to be? It’s been said that when you don’t learn from an experience it keeps coming back around until you do, so if you have to go through it then best to only have to go through it once. Step back and really examine so you can find what it is that you are to take with you and learn. Why put yourself through it more than you have to, your experiences are not meant to break you, they are meant to build you.

As hard as it is to foresee the road ahead it is only through having appreciation for all experiences (positive or negative) that you will begin to cultivate happiness. Start with the smaller successes and after a while you will see that those successes will multiply and begin to shape a brighter, happier and more positive future.

Happiness: the state of being happy

It doesn’t get any clearer than that and where are you at with your own happiness? Happiness isn’t just for other people who seem like they have it all together. Happiness is a state of being, a state that you can access at any time, a state that doesn’t discriminate or align with only the lucky ones.

If another has done you wrong, mistreated you, taken you for granted or overreacted badly, that is not on you, it is on them which doesn’t mean you are now excluded from the state of happiness. Your own happiness depends on how you turn things around, how you want to view the world and what kind of life you decide to live.