Parental Perspective

At Momseze, we know what it’s like to be a new parent. The good, the bad and the smelly…there’s nothing our lactation consultants haven’t seen. But with all the challenges of parenthood come profound moments of intimacy and joy. When IBCLC, doula, educator, mother and one of our Friendseze, Megan and her husband brought the first new addition to their family home, they found that sweet spot. This Father’s Day, we wanted to share a His&Hers moment of love between two parents and their child.

The View from Mom:

Moments after my son was born, I felt so many different things all at once. I was overwhelmed with joy, pride, humility, inspiration, exhaustion, and an insatiable desire for some food! I was pleased to pass my new baby to my eager husband so I could wipe the sweat and tears off my cheeks and have a few bites to eat since I’d only had ice chips for the last 16 hours.

I looked over at my handsome spouse and admired how easily he settled into the chair with our baby right on his chest. Unlike me, Ken was not a first time parent. He has already raised three successful and beautiful daughters. It was obvious that he had the confidence and sense of purpose of a seasoned father. He cradled our beautiful, brown boy, whispered to him, and patted his back to a steady and firm rhythm. Our son’s body was relaxed and his chin nestled into the space between his collarbone and neck. It was a powerful sight to behold.

Our older son is now a few weeks away from being seven years old. Usually before bed, we read or play a game on the tablet. Ever since he was weaned, he’s fallen asleep to me rubbing or patting his back. On one particular night, he said, “mom, I really like when you pat me to sleep…but dad does it better.”

This kept me laughing for days but, in all seriousness, is all the evidence I need to believe that my son benefited profoundly from just a few short minutes of skin to skin contact with his dad on that first day.

A Memory with Dad:

I can only imagine what thoughts are on a baby’s mind once they born into this world. They only need for nourishment, warmth of a body, protection, and a smiling face— so there I stand waiting for my turn to hold him next to my skin.

As soon as he is passed to me, I feel the fast heartbeat and the softness of his body. My love for him pores out of my body through my fingers, my skin, my smell, my eyes, my hands and my voice. I want to comfort him. I want him to know that it is now safe to relax, to rest and go to sleep in my arms.

Now he feels the rhythm of my hand, pat- pat- patting his back; the vibrations soothe him. He’s already asleep.

For me, these two minutes in time are cemented in my soul. He knows me and I know him in the barest of conditions. There is nothing hidden, we are one and the same.

Megan Stauffer

IBCLC, MSW, LCCE

Megan is a mother to two active little boys, a wife to a stay at home dad, a childbirth educator at UNC hospital and postpartum doula and nanny.