Just a fun update many months later. I did get my home birth. In fact, it turned into an unplanned unassisted! DH walked into the living room just in time to see me catch the baby in my hands. The midwife got there a half hour later. We realised that if I had planned to go to the hospital. I wouldn't have made it. She would have been born on the side of the street or in the hallway. Instead, we had everything we needed, it was peaceful and, even though we were in shock at a 40min labour, just about perfect. Now DH likes to joke that he is pretty much a doctor as he delivered the baby. I think if we were to have another, we'd be on the same page about a home birth.

Oh my gosh!! You are both amazing! Hope your little one is well. Congratulations on your baby and an incredible birth story!

I can't tell you what to do. Personally, I feel the decision should be made in unity. You two are one now and I don't think it'd be fair to throw around the "my body, my choice" card because it's not true. Also, this involves both of your's baby. (not saying you throw around that card, btw. just generally talking). I also would cringe if he took this situation as the first of potentially many, when his word isn't respected or valued because the Mama Bear comes out and this is YOUR baby cub and not his. Some men are really sensitive about that.

In the event of needing a transfer or having a complication (which is UNlikely) it'd be a lot to ask your DH to work through those feelings of "Well, I didn't even want you to do this in the first place" and so on while seeing his wife and/or baby have some trouble. We had some trouble with ours and I'm thankful I didn't put my DH in that place as he was also supportive of our homebirth.

Has he talked with the midwife about specific concerns he has? That might help if he knows how she is prepared for those complications or how she knows when to transfer. My DH during the beginning of my first pregnancy had concerns about the birth at home and he went with me to the prenatal and we discussed his concerns with the midwife. She eased his mind and he soon agreed with our decision to have a homebirth.

It is a vulnerable time for our men. Esp. when they are designed to want to protect... the pregnancy, the baby growing, etc. is just not in their control. I feel like it's an important time to be sensitive to that.

Just my two cents. Good luck on making your decision!

This was so respectfully said. You clearly have a mindful relationship and I agree whole-heartedlynwith.

** could you agree to have the baby in the hospital, delivered by the midwife and OB? Is there a Birthing Center nearby? He does have equal say.

I loved all the comments supporting the husband's role. Thank you for your wisdom and respect shown toward your husbands.

PS, there are no birthing centres in Ireland and there are no midwives in Limerick, mine graciously drove up from Cork and hour and a half away to help. Which is why she didn't make it in time. Lol.

__________________Marie - Living my dreams! Mama to a bright and busy big girl, a sweet little toddler girl and expecting a surprise in November! If I'm not with my daughters, then I'm or doing or spending time with the husband or... what else? here on DS!