CRAIG CONLEY (Prof. Oddfellow) is recognized by Encarta as “America’s most creative and diligent scholar of letters, words and punctuation.” He has been called a “language fanatic” by Page Six gossip columnist Cindy Adams, a “cult hero” by Publisher’s Weekly, and “a true Renaissance man of the modern era, diving headfirst into comprehensive, open-minded study of realms obscured or merely obscure” by Clint Marsh. An eccentric scholar, Conley’s ideas are often decades ahead of their time. He invented the concept of the “virtual pet” in 1980, fifteen years before the debut of the popular “Tamagotchi” in Japan. His virtual pet, actually a rare flower, still thrives and has reached an incomprehensible size. Conley’s website is OneLetterWords.com.

* The most profound secrets lie not wholly in knowledge, said the poet. They lurk invisible in that vitalizing spark, intangible, yet as evident as the lightning—the seeker's soul. Solitary digging for facts can reward one with great discoveries, but true secrets are not discovered—they are shared, passed on in confidence from one to another. The genuine seeker listens attentively. No secret can be transcribed, save in code, lest it—by definition—cease to be. This Book of Whispers collects and encodes more than one hundred of humankind's most cherished secrets. To be privy to the topics alone is a supreme achievement, as each contains and nurtures the seed of its hidden truth. As possessor and thereby guardian of this knowledge, may you summon the courage to honor its secrets and to bequeath it to one worthy.

"This time, the action – well, inaction: our hero is at his most animated when rolling cigarettes – centres on a nameless man (Markku Peltola) who, having been beaten senseless, wakes up and finds himself among the homeless in Helsinki harbour." [source]

"Fight Club starts out, interestingly enough, about a nameless man (the Narrator, played by Edward Norton) who is a relatively successful employee of 'a major automobile manufacturer.'" [source]

"The film's opening credits flash with a frantic, dramatic score, and we are introduced to a nameless woman (Vanessa Redgrave) unable to sleep in a dingy third-world hotel." [source]

"Hope (Nadja Brand) and her young daughter are abducted and brought to a remote, terrifying forest by a mysterious and nameless man (Eric Colvin)." [source]

"So Laure lets a nameless man (Vincent Lindon) into her car to give him a lift." [source]

When an actor's name is unavailable, it's tempting to fill in the blank with a famous name ...

"At the door is a guy who shall remain nameless, so I will call him KEITH RICHARDS for the sake of naming him something other than 'nameless man.'" [source]

... or a deliberately mundane one:

"The Narrator is a nameless man in the story (so let’s call him Jack)" [source]

Even when a nameless character is named "Nameless," naming him is still irresistible:

"The movie begins with a nameless man (named Nameless — played by Jet Li) being delivered to a meeting with the king who is going to reward our hero for successfully killing the three people in his land who have been trying to assassinate the king for the length of his reign." [source]

Sometimes, even a scriptwriter can't resist naming a nameless character:

"Tuco and the nameless man, who is called 'Blondie' throughout the film, are two con artists in cahoots." [source]

Author Craig Conley has a literary mind and a designer's reverence for individual letters, a secular devotion made manifest in Mucca Design's work for his One Letter Words: A Dictionary. The pristine white volume has the proportions and gold foil embellishment of a child's first Bible, while its uncoated jacket paper offers the tactile richness of leather.

Where Conley has unearthed the letters' literary meanings, art director Matteo Bologna's Decora and Infidelity typefaces showcase their forms with all the sensual flourish of an illuminated manuscript. The latter typeface's name suggests sinful indulgence, and indeed the book's design is not as pure as its sacred allusions suggest. Conley opens with the notion of "an entire alphabet of scarlet letters," and Mucca's color scheme is accordingly flush with the rosy hues of flesh. Designer Cristina Ottolini claims she simply set out to create "a handsome volume that would appeal to bibliophiles, the sort of person interested in the rarefied topic of one-letter words." The result is sure to please even the most zealous lover of language.

"If a unicorn frolics in the forest with no one to hear it, then is the unicorn imaginary?" Not necessarily!

Expert unicorn spotters can “see” more unicorns with their eyelids shut than the average person can see with eyes wide open. That’s because they are intimate with the sounds unicorns make. A Field Guide to Identifying Unicorns by Sound (presented in an eco-friendly, low-wattage palette) will help you to identify the various calls of the mysterious unicorn as it frolicks in its natural environment. Along the way, you will become better acquainted with unicorns’ habits, eccentricities, antics, attitudes, and manners. Before you know it, encountering unicorns will become second nature. Hearing is believing!

A family member gave us a package of Hungarian noodles, which [my wife] Hilary and I were studying the other night, with an eye to figuring out how we might eventually prepare them.

On the back of the package was a recipe, in Hungarian. Though the alphabet is Roman, we found that neither of us could recognize or induce the meaning of a single word--unlike when we see something in, say, Swedish. And yet the structure of the text was completely familiar. Here was the list of ingredients, and there was the narrative that explained what to do with them. I realized that this visible recipe with invisible elements was, in effect, a blank map!

* The most profound secrets lie not wholly in knowledge, said the poet. They lurk invisible in that vitalizing spark, intangible, yet as evident as the lightning—the seeker's soul. Solitary digging for facts can reward one with great discoveries, but true secrets are not discovered—they are shared, passed on in confidence from one to another. The genuine seeker listens attentively. No secret can be transcribed, save in code, lest it—by definition—cease to be. This Book of Whispers collects and encodes more than one hundred of humankind's most cherished secrets. To be privy to the topics alone is a supreme achievement, as each contains and nurtures the seed of its hidden truth. As possessor and thereby guardian of this knowledge, may you summon the courage to honor its secrets and to bequeath it to one worthy.

* The most profound secrets lie not wholly in knowledge, said the poet. They lurk invisible in that vitalizing spark, intangible, yet as evident as the lightning—the seeker's soul. Solitary digging for facts can reward one with great discoveries, but true secrets are not discovered—they are shared, passed on in confidence from one to another. The genuine seeker listens attentively. No secret can be transcribed, save in code, lest it—by definition—cease to be. This Book of Whispers collects and encodes more than one hundred of humankind's most cherished secrets. To be privy to the topics alone is a supreme achievement, as each contains and nurtures the seed of its hidden truth. As possessor and thereby guardian of this knowledge, may you summon the courage to honor its secrets and to bequeath it to one worthy.

Didn’t have any money? Man, that’s the oldest trick in the books. Everybody carries a fake wallet for robberies — sometimes two or even three. —Robert Sheckley, “A Ticket to Tranai,” The Mammoth Book of Science Fiction (2002)

You're the top; you're the peak of Dante;You're the top—blue-chip picante.You're the jewel in the crown of a dinner gown by Klein.You're Dorsey's trombone, you're Kheops' capstone,you're altar wine.You're the top—as in "hat," on Fred's head.You're the quipdear old Oscar Wilde said.I'm an inarticulate voiceless glottal stop.But if, baby, I'm the bottom you're the top!

You're the top;you're the head of Acme(placed there by imperial decree).You're the high point of a fairy tale by Grimm.You're lemon zest,you're Arthur's crest,you're the Battle Hymn.You're the top—you're the Everest summit.You ascendwhere others plummet.Compared to me John Falstaff is a fop.But if, baby, I'm the bottom you're the top!

Left, a detail of an illustration of cock fighting in Great Britain. The full image is located here. Right, a detail of a photo of guy getting egg on his face at an egg-throwing contest. The full image and gallery are located here.

Andy Warhol famously predicted that in the future, everyone would be famous for fifteen minutes. Now that the future is already here, there are those who beg to differ with Andy, and for a fascinating variety of reasons!

In his novel Rant (2007), Chuck Palahniuk suggests that "Andy Warhol was wrong. In the future, people won't be famous for fifteen minutes. No, in the future, everyone will sit next to someone famous for at least fifteen minutes."

Movie critic Frank Schneck posits that the word should be film, not fame: "Andy Warhol was wrong. It's not just that everyone is going to have 15 minutes of fame. In the not-so-distant future, every person on the planet is going to have a film made about him or her" (Hollywood Reporter, 2000). Others seem to agree, in a roundabout way:

"Andy Warhol was wrong. Today it seems that anyone can parlay their 15
minutes of fame into 15 cable episodes, with an option for a second
season." —"It's Unreal How Easily Reality Shows Pop Up," Rocky
Mountain Daily News, July 20, 2002

"Andy Warhol was wrong. Everyone's not going to be famous for 15
minutes; instead, we will all have our own talk shows." —"Ex-Dancer,
Ex-First Son Tries a New Career: Talk Show Host," Buffalo News, Aug.
16, 1991

Then there are those who argue that the 15 minutes are recurring:

"The couple who wrote and performed the theme to the 1970s TV series "Happy Days" are on a media blitz in Colorado Springs this weekend, proving that Andy Warhol was wrong. Not only will everyone in the world get 15 minutes of fame, they'll get another 15 minutes when the nostalgia factor kicks in a couple of decades later." —"These Days Are Happy for Couple," The Gazette, March 6, 1997

"Andy Warhol was wrong. With the release of the film, Factory Girl, he and his 'superstars' are about to get another 15 minutes of fame." —"Straight to the Point," Daily Mail, Sept. 27, 2006

"As it turns out, Andy Warhol was wrong: not everybody will be famous for 15 minutes. But with bad prospects and a good agent, those who once were can now extend the clock thanks to unprecedented TV demands for the vaguely familiar." —Vinay Menon, "More Dancing with Quasi-Celebs," Toronto Star, March 19, 2007

Not fame, but Hitler:

"Andy Warhol was wrong. In the future, everyone will be Hitler for 15 minutes." —"Originality is the First Casualty of War," Austin American-Statesman, April 1, 1999

"Andy Warhol got it wrong. It's not fame everyone will have in the future; It's a chance to scream at someone else on TV." —"Clinton Vs. Dole About Ratings, Not Discourse," Witicha Eagle, March 11, 2003

Not fame, but privacy:

"Andy Warhol was wrong. The wild-eyed artist boldly proclaimed that in the future everyone would have 15 minutes of fame. Warhol's fortune-telling skills were nowhere as visionary as his art. Warhol should have predicted with the explosion of reality television that in the future everyone will have 15 minutes of privacy." —"One Day, We'll Beg for Privacy," Fresno Bee, Aug. 3, 2000

Not fame, but Colorado citizenship:

"Andy Warhol was wrong. It turned out we were all from Colorado." —Barry Fagin, "Montel Williams and Me," Independence Institute, Nov. 1, 2000

Fame, yes, but in the past, not in the future:

"Andy Warhol was wrong. Everybody already has been famous––some time last week. It just depends on who’s telling it and who’s listening." —"The Remembering Game," Depot Town Rag, Sept. 1990

Fame, yes, but not 15 minutes exactly:

"The culture-shock doctor explained that science had discovered that Andy Warhol was wrong about fame; He had the right idea, but his figures were off." —"The Sting of Cable Backlash," Miami Herald, Oct. 9, 1983

"'Andy Warhol was wrong,' Neal Gabler said. 'He was right when he said everyone will be famous, but wrong about the 15 minutes.'" —Marjorie Kaufman, "Seeking the Roots of a Celebrity Society," New York Times, Dec. 11, 1994

"Andy Warhol got it wrong by 12 minutes. People have three minutes of fame; long enough to walk down a catwalk and back." —Guardian, July 7, 2002

"Andy Warhol was wrong. Everyone can be famous these days, all right, but the renown lasts more like 15 seconds, not minutes." —"Smile! You're Part of a Video Society," Greensboro News and Record, May 20, 1990

"Andy Warhol was wrong when he said that everyone would have 15 minutes of fame; extras can look forward to having only seconds of movie glory." —"12 Hours' Extra Work for a Brief Moment of Glory," Derby Evening Telegraph, Nov. 9, 2006

"Andy Warhol was wrong. In my case, at least, fame clocked in at only 6:42 minutes, and that was before the final cut." —Wilborn Hampton Lead, "Confessions of a Soap Opera Extra," New York Times, Dec. 31, 1989

"Andy Warhol was wrong when he said that everyone will enjoy their fifteen minutes of fame. The time frame he referred to might one day be measured in seconds."—Warren Adler, "The Dividing Line," Aug. 10, 2009

Fame, yes, but for more than 15 minutes:

"Andy Warhol was wrong. You can be famous for a lot longer than 15 minutes, if you're clever enough." —"Oliver's Brand of Revitalisation," Marketing Week, April 7, 2005

"'We were sure that Andy Warhol was wrong, that it would last more than 15 minutes,' says Hilary Jay.'" —"Maximal Art and Its Rise from the Ashes," Philadelphia Inquirer, July 25, 1993

"When it comes to the Super Bowl, Andy Warhol was wrong. Its cast of characters has been famous for 25 years, and will be 25 years from now." —"Simply the Best," Denver Post, Jan. 27, 1991

"Andy Warhol was wrong. Long after the buzzer sounded on Mark Fuhrman's 15 minutes of fame, he just won't go away." —"Fuhrman Overstaying His Welcome," June 10, 2001

"Andy Warhol was wrong: sometimes you do get more than 15 minutes of fame, even if you're not Greg Louganis." —National Review, Dec. 10, 2004

"Andy Warhol was wrong. Not everyone gets 15 minutes of fame. Many people get more than that. Like Dr. Bernie Dahl." —The Nashua Telegraph, Dec. 3, 2000

"Andy Warhol was wrong … you can have 45 minutes of fame, not just 15!"—"Invitation to Present at the OTM SIG Conference in June 2009," Dec. 22, 2008

"Andy Warhol was wrong in my case; my fifteen minutes of fame have been more like three hours." —Ken Eichele, My Best Day in Golf: Celebrity Stories of the Game They Love, 2003

"Andy Warhol was wrong; I was a hero for at least fifteen hours." —Gene GeRue, "Tomato Madness," Dec. 17, 2006

"Andy Warhol was wrong. People aren't famous for fifteen minutes; they're famous forever."—Arthur Black, Black & White and Read All Over, 2004

Fame, yes, but "in" 15 minutes, not "for" 15 minutes:

"Andy Warhol was wrong, when he predicted that in the future, people would become famous for 15 minutes. This is the future. Now people become famous in 15 minutes. Take Duran Duran." —Ethlie Ann Vare, "New Echoes of Duran Duran," New York Times, Nov. 24, 1985

Fame, yes, but without measure:

"Andy Warhol was wrong. In the future, everyone will not be famous for 15 minutes. Everyone will just be famous." —"Cooking Up Celebrity Storm," Boston Globe, Jan. 21, 2000

"Andy Warhol was wrong. No one Is famous for just 15 minutes. These days you get to be famous whenever you feel like it. Just like everyone else." —"Now, Everyone is Famous! Who Knew?" Associated Press, July 16, 1999

"'Andy Warhol was wrong,' says Newman, who completed his trek in 1987. 'If I wanted to be boring, I could live on this for the rest of my life." —"Book Lists Sometime-Dubious Firsts," Dallas Morning News, July 31, 1988

"Andy Warhol was wrong about one thing: His own 'fifteen minutes of fame' have never ended."—Barnes & Noble, review of Andy Warhol Treasures, 2009

"In the internet age, bad headlines no longer go away and Andy Warhol was wrong about his fifteen minutes of fame. If you are infamous now, you are infamous forever."—Peter Walsh, "Curtis Warren: the Celebrity Drug Baron," Telegraph, Oct. 7, 2009

The opposite of fame:

"Milwaukee futurist David Zach says Andy Warhol was wrong: We aren't going to get that 15 minutes of fame after all. 'It's just the opposite,' Zach says." —Tim Nelson, "The Skinny," St. Paul Pioneer Press, Aug. 27, 1998

"I think Andy Warhol got it wrong: in the future, so many people are going to become famous that one day everybody will end up being anonymous for 15 minutes." —Shepard Fairey, Swindle #8, 2006

"Andy Warhol was wrong. Most of us will never come close to being famous—even for 15 minutes." —"Stepping into the Spotlight," Wall Street Journal, Nov. 8, 1999

"Andy Warhol was wrong: for 15 minutes, everybody gets to be a starting quarterback for The Saints." —"Tyson Still Has Issues," Atlanta Journal, Oct. 16, 1998

"Andy Warhol was wrong: in the future, everyone won't be famous for 15 minutes, but everyone will have their own Web site." —"Book Review: The Non-Designer's Web Book," Information Management Journal, July 1, 1999

"Andy Warhol was wrong. We've all had our 15 minutes, now we all want a mini-series!"—"Boy First Believed On Runaway Balloon Found After Frantic Search," New York Post, Oct. 16, 2009

"Andy Warhol was wrong. Everyone won't just have 15 minutes of fame. One day—soon, I suspect—we all will have our very own talk shows."—Linda L.S. Schulte, "Word's Worth," Baltimore Sun, Jan. 31, 1996

Fame, yes, but perhaps 30 minutes:

"There are times in life when you just hope that Andy Warhol was wrong and that a merciful God will grant you a second 15 minutes of fame." —"Confessions of an Embarrassed Viagra Expert," University Wire, Sept. 24, 1998

"Andy Warhol was wrong - everyone does NOT have their 15 minutes of fame and the overwhelming majority of You're a Star hopefuls would have told him that." —"The Fame Game's Just Not Worth It," The Mirror, Aug. 25, 2006

"Warhol was wrong! He neglected to factor in the 15 minutes of one's own alter-egos."—"Warhol was Wrong," GenderFun.com, May 29, 2009

"Warhol was wrong. The message is clear: we do not want your 15 minutes of fame, you can shove it."—Alix Sharkey, "Saturday Night: The Techno Ice-Cream Van is on its Way," The Independent, June 26, 1993

"Incredible and yet inevitable." When I looked up these lyrics from a song, Google returned zero results. In addition to feeling disappointed that the song lyrics weren't available online, I'm also feeling somewhat sad that nothing out there is considered "incredible and yet inevitable." (Once Google spiders this webpage, it will finally return one result for "incredible and yet inevitable." But that won't count.)

The first diagram is my recreation of "The Pickle Theory of Value." (This is a serious theory about the perceived value of start up businesses, and it is explained here. Between you and me, I think all graphs should feature vegetables instead of boring lines.)

The second diagram is my spin-off of the pickle theory. I call it, "Ceci n'est pas une cornichon."