Steve Israel: Crabby keeps an eye on money, movies, manager

So who should we blame for the $85 billion of federal budget cuts scheduled to kick in today?

Steve Israel

So who should we blame for the $85 billion of federal budget cuts scheduled to kick in today?

What should we make of those Sullivan County legislators who want to change the county charter to make it easier to do stuff like oust the county manager they essentially just fired?

And what should about those fuddy duddies who objected to that satirical song during the Oscars about actresses baring breasts?

Have no fear. Dear Abby may have gone to write the great advice column for the great newspaper in the sky, but we have our own columnist who's been waiting to follow in Dear Abby's footsteps.

We call her Dear Crabby — an apt name considering some of the folks we run into here.

Here's a sampling of the mail that's piled up on her desk:

Dear Crabby: So who should we blame for these billions of budget cuts that were supposed to be so horrible, Republican and Democrats would have to do the near impossible — compromise — to avoid them?

— Perplexed in Plattekill

Dear Perplexed: While the Democrats and Republicans have been playing childish blame games instead of acting like grown-ups who can play together in the fiscal sandbox, hundreds of millions of Americans have gotten off the hook.

That would be us — the fools who elected these clowns, thinking they could act like grown-ups. (Dear Crabby consulted another advice guru — Pine Bush schools Superintendent Phil Steinberg — for this advice).

Dear Crabby: So what about those five Sullivan lawmakers — including four newcomers — who wanted to oust County Manager David Fanslau, but didn't have the six votes required by the county charter to do it, so now they want to change that charter to a five-vote majority? Didn't those newcomers promise more openness when they were candidates?

— Skeptical in Smallwood

Dear Skeptical: Ever hear that old Who song with the line, "Meet the new boss, same as the old boss?"

Dear Crabby: What's up with the very competent Town of Crawford clerk, Kelly Eskew, withdrawing from the Orange County clerk race days after another Republican, Assemblywoman Annie Rabbitt, announced her candidacy? Is this the old political squeezeroo?

— Concerned in Crawford

Dear Concerned: Ever hear that old reggae song, "Pressure Drop?"

Dear Crabby: So what's up with the hubbub over that Oscars' song about actresses baring breasts? Is this just a case of political correctness gone overboard?

— Not leering in Livingston Manor

Dear Not: Excuse Crabby while she stops laughing — not at the sophomoric song, but at the hypocrisy of anybody who throws a fit about a song about breasts in movies, but doesn't say boo about the movies. Besides, who cares about breasts when so many movies are filthy violent?