Doctor to many, mother to three, wife to one. I run, I blog, I cross-stitch.

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I am lucky to have children

Having children wasn’t something I grew up wanting. I was too focused on becoming a doctor. I knew I wanted to be a doctor from the age of 13. By the time I got into medical school, I was 25 and single. For most of my med school training I just didn’t think it would happen for me. I didn’t think I’d meet the man I’d want to spend my life with, let alone have children with. I used to joke with my best friend in medical school, that if neither one of us had met the men of our dreams by age 35, we’d have a baby together. Well, I did, and so did he.

The love of my life wanted children from a very young age. He had always been around children as his step-siblings were 10 years older and had children when he was a young teenager. He knew how to change diapers. It was foreign territory for me. Despite having treated children in residency and have them in my practice, I really knew next to nothing about being a mom. What’s so hard about being a mom?

Well, getting pregnant turned out to be harder than I thought. Irregular periods, possible PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome), starting a practice, buying a home, and planning a wedding proved to be far too much for a little embryo to handle. We struggled for more than a year to conceive. Meanwhile, I had patient after patient coming in to my office pregnant on the first or second try, and then my best-friend conceived easily, making it all a very difficult year. What was wrong with me? with my body? that a little embryo couldn’t make a home in my uterus?

I eventually figured out exactly what the problem was. Stress. My infertility specialist suggested I take a break, go back on birth control for a few months to help with the horrendous acne, plan my wedding and go on a honeymoon. My daughter was born 9 months and 1 day after I got married. No fertility patient wants to hear that stress might be affecting her ability to conceive. But for me, it was completely to blame. Still, my husband and I never took it for granted that we’d conceive a second time, so when the time came to start trying, we weren’t expecting it to happen quickly.

We were wrong. I conceived quickly and my son was born 29 months after my daughter.

I adore my children. I am extremely lucky to have them. I still see countless women in my office who still struggle to conceive and I see the pain in their eyes when they see the photographs of my children in my office. I wish I could take their pain away. For some, I know that pain will cease, for others it’s there permanently.

So funny- I swore my whole life I would never have children. I was too dedicated to my career. I was going to work abroad, do international health, travel, never settle down. I waited quite a long time- and then one day in my late 30’s my body said “Stop! Put down roots and procreate, now!!” It took awhile to get pregnant, and our first L+D was quite complicated– but we did it, and here we are with two perfectly healthy babies. Now, they are our whole life! I am so lucky. And grateful. And happy. And my friends who were there when I swore I would never have kids, will never let me live it down!

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Disclaimer

Any office scenarios described here have been altered to protect the patient's privacy. This blog is not intended to offer clinical advice. If you are concerned about your health, get off Dr. Google and please go see your doctor. Any similarity to any person living or dead is merely coincidental.

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