THE MOST BORING CLASS IN THE WORLD by Janet S. Tiger (c) 2007 all rights reservedFor royalty information
please email tigerteam1@gmail.com
or call 858-274-9678Teachers - This is great for first time drama students - has parts for the entire class, many with only a few lines. Some great opportunities for tech and costume starters. Another plus - although it's been tested on audiences, it hasn't been seen outside of San Diego yet, so you can probably get it as a premiere for your community.

SYNOPSIS -
An ordinary classroom, with ordinary students…or is it?Three sets of students
are ready for another day in Mr. Dillon’s History class – but it turns
out that something is going on that is not in the history books!

CHARACTERS –

1960s-Heather-hippie, miniskirt, headband

Steve- long hair, matching headband

1980s-Michaelmath geek

Donna – dressed like Madonna and Flashdance

2000s-Brittany-tattoos, piercing

Jeremy --short hair, earring

SET - This is a typical high school classroom that has gone through the changes of many years. We know it is a history class because there is a big sign, faded that declares,

“Those who do not learn the lessons of history are doomed to repeat this class."

There are old-style chairs from the 60s with the writing table attached, and an old-fashioned chalk-board, but there are signs of the 70s, 80s and 90s, too, even the new millennia, though, in modern maps, and perhaps a picture of the current President or other up-to-date world affairs people.

(As the play begins, we hear students arriving in the halls – this is a medium sized high school, somewhere in the Midwest, during the winter, so kids entering the class have on heavy coats – when they arrive, everyone looks the same – bundled.But as everyone takes off their coats, we see something unusual.

First couple to enter is Heather and Steve.Heather is pretty, with long hair and a headband, wearing a mini-shirt and something- jewelry or shirt or headband that has a peace sign on it.Steve is Heather’s boyfriend, with a matching headband and matching long hair.They are very physical, but stop when others enter the room.

The next couple is Michael and Donna . She is dressed like Madonna, but with the ripped sweatshirt from Flashdance.Michael has on Tom Cruise Aviator sunglasses, but is a little geeky.Although we see they like each other, they do not touch often.

Then we see Brittany and Jeremy enter, dressed a la Spears and Federline or Angelina and Brad, plus she has a nose ring and he has an earring.They obviously have been a couple -they have matching tattoos on their arms, ipods, but no more, and this is weird as we can see they still like each other

As they remove their heavy winter coats and see the others, each couple is a little surprised.)

STEVE
HEATHER(All together to each other)They must be new in class.

BRITTANY
JEREMY
MICHAEL
DONNA

STEVE -Where’s Mr. Dillon?

HEATHER - Probably making copies of something to put us to sleep.

BRITTANY -Are you, like, in Mr. Dillon’s class?

HEATHER -Yeah, all year…are you?

STEVE–I know this class is boring, but I don’t remember you guys.

MICHAEL -It is boring!

DONNA -How boring is it?

ALL TOGETHER -It’s so boring that…

STEVE -…They handed out pillows with the textbooks!

JEREMY -When I think of Mr. Dillon, I(starts to snore)

HEATHER - Mrs. Reynolds is almost as boring…

STEVE -Yeah, but she wears those blouses…

DONNA -She’s old!

MICHAEL –

STEVE- Who cares?

JEREMY

STEVE -It does perk up the class!

DONNA

HEATHER- Boys!

BRITTANY

MICHAEL – Does anyone know what’s Mr. Dillon’s first name?

DONNA -Whatever it is, it’s gotta be dull!

BRITTANY -Not as dull as the war…

STEVE – I don’t know, World War II wasn’t that bad…

MICHAEL - World War II – we’re doing the Vietnam War now!

HEATHER – The Vietnam War – we’re not studying that!

STEVE – Yeah, we’re protesting it!

BRITTANY – I thought we were doing the Gulf War….

HEATHER

STEVE(Together)What?

MICHAEL

DONNA

MICHAEL – (Puzzled)When was that?

BRITTANY – Well, it happened when I was a baby, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t

BRITTANY -I just mean, my parents’ names are Laurie and Joe, so, like, none of you

would have been my parents…

JEREMY -Well, that makes no sense…

BRITTANY – In all those time deals, it’s like you meet your parents, when they’re

younger, so you can understand that, I guess, like they had the same problems you do.Something like that…

MICHAEL -My Mom and Dad were killed in a car crash when I was a baby…I was

raised by my grandparents…

DONNA -I was a little weirded out when you said your name was Steve, because my

Dad’s name is Steve….

JEREMY – Yeah, My Mom’s name is Donna, but my Dad’s name was Luke – and they’ve been divorced since I was a baby….so, Brittany, try to think of another TV show that works…
10
======================================

BRITTANY -(Doesn’t realize he’s joking)OK, what about Superman?Could this be

like, Smallville or something?

STEVE -But, like, how did we get here?

HEATHER -Honey, it has something to do with this class…

STEVE -I can figure that one out…

MICHAEL – And we’re all going out with the person we’re here with…

JEREMY -Not us…we just, are like, you know, friends..

MICHAEL -But you used to..

JEREMY -(Reluctant to admit0Yeah…

DONNA -Forget how we got here, I’d like to know how we get out of here…

BRITTANY -Maybe we can build like a time machine…

JEREMY – Another great idea..

DONNA – Hey, leave her alone, at least she’s trying…

MICHAEL -If this is some kind of time warp-

(The others all go 0000-oooh together)

MICHAEL – (Ignores them)Then the key is in some type of Einsteinian theory

JEREMY -Because he worked with time space continuum…

MICHAEL – Right…

JEREMY -So are you a math geek?

MICHAEL -I guess…

JEREMY -So what kind of computer do you have?

MICHAEL -I can’t afford one of those…they’re like $3000!

STEVE -Computer?You mean like the one they showed us on campus when we went

for the game?That’s a whole building!

11
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JEREMY -Not anymore…

(He shows him his laptop and the others are impressed, especially Steve and Heather.)

Please e-mail for royalty rates – rates depend on ticket price, number of shows, theater size
Students and Teachers Please Note -
There is no royalty fee for students performing these monologues for classes or contests, but a licensing fee will be necessary if you wish to make copies for an entire class. Please e-mail for more info.

All of the following are available via e-mail. **Special offer- Buy one play or monologue and have it sent via e-mail only (no snail mail) and I will send you a second monologue FREE. (Save a tree, too!)

Note about Production info - each of the following plays will have pages with more specific nfo on production details.

A desperate woman brings a cherished family heirloom to a pawnbroker to try and get money to rescue her father from Nazi-occupied Austria. Will she get the money? And at what cost? Fast-paced with a surprising end.

THE AFFIDAVIT is published in ONE-ACT PLAYS FOR ACTING STUDENTS edited by Norman A. Bert (Meriwether Publishing, Colorado)

The productions are too numerous to list at this point, but include New York (Off-off Broadway, New Zealand, Canada, Austria…..if you have had a production in another country and want it listed here, please e-mail tigerteam1@mail.com
For more info about THE AFFIDAVIT, including photos and production info, click hereBLIND WOMAN’S BLUFFRunning time – 25 minutes $8.00/script
Set – living room, semi-rundown
2 characters 1 man – early 20s
1 woman – late 60s

An old blind woman puts a classified ad in the paper and a young man answers the ad - but is he there to buy or to rip her off? Quick, funny and a good showcase piece for actors.

Winner DFAS National One-act Playwriting Contest 3rd Place
Published in PERSPECTIVES THREE
(HBJ, Canada -8th grade textbook)
Pioneer Drama Service

Since its first publication, BLIND WOMAN'S BLUFF has had numerous productions. If you would like your production included in the upcoming page 'where in the world have I seen this play?', please e-mail the details totigerteam1@gmail.com

BLIND WOMAN'S BLUFF is available
through PIONEER DRAMA SERVICE. Please click here to purchase via their
website.
http://pioneerdrama.com/searchdetail.asp?pc=BLINDWOMAN&id=26
.Click here for production info and photos.

CURSE OF THE DUCHESS(monologue)Running time – 15 minutes $8.00/script Set – minimal - chair, table, lamp Lighting and sound effects very important Character - The duchess - in her late 80s, very British

A duchess recounts how a curse changed her life. Touching- a tour de force for an older actress.

Two women, lifelong friends, face Yom Kippur (the Jewish New Year also known as the Day of Atonement) with different ideas. Great showpiece for two older actresses.
– Click here for photos and production info

DON’T YOU CRY FOR ME

Running time – 35 minutes $10.00/script Time- 1966 Late summer evening of a very hot day, almost dusk Set – Sitting room in a gracoious house in a rural Atlanta suburb Characters - 2 men, 2 women all with Southern accents The death of his father - and an unusual request in the will - leads a young man to deal with major issues in his life, and his family, in a very Southern finale. Strong language

Award -Fritz Blitz of New PlaysProduced- The Seventh Annual Fritz Blitz of New Plays, San Diego, CA

This play is part of the TRANSFUSION trilogy. (The other is OH, SUSANNAH) There is a discount if all three plays in the trilogy are purchased at the same time.
FINALE Running time –8-10 minutes $10.00/script Time- The past
Set – Bare stage Characters - 1 man mid 20s, strong Cockney accent

A magician gives a performance - with a surprising finale.

This one-act was published with funds from a grant provided by the Dramatists Guild Fund

First production - Swedenborg Hall, San Diego, 2008Great piece for auditions and competitions.

INTERVIEW - New title - HORNET'S NEST

Running time – 45 minutes $10.00/script Set – Living room as talk show set Characters - 2 men, 2 women

Welcome to the Hornet's Nest - a radio talk show that can be very interesting - and dangerous. When Audrey Hornet hosts a political guest that used to be an old lover, anything can happen. And it does. Riveting suspense that build to an explosive climax - keeps audiences on the edge of their seats.

A well-known playwright is found dead at the reading of his newest play - which of his 'friends' didn't like his latest literary offering?

Mystery with a DEATHTRAP twist - fast and funny with some good chances for stylist characterizations and staging.

***Janet S. Tiger's first full production! Southwestern College Chula Vista, CA
****Special note
This play was produced by Scripteasers, the well-known San Diego Writers-Actors group that has helped new playwrights for over 50 years! Janet S. Tiger had her first play read at Scripteasers in ....well, many years ago. It was very.......long. But the Scripteasers helped her improve her writing, and most of her plays had first readings at one of their meetings. SCRIPTEASE was written as a 'thank you' , and it was produced by Scripteasers in May 1981. For more information, you can visit the Scripteasers website www scripteasers . org.

A Jewish family in Vienna, Austria, just before World War II, is faced with crucial decisions about taking the opportunity to leave - or staying behind with an aged and ill relative. Basic human questions about the value of life and importance of family are confronted. Poignant drama.

This play has won many awards, including the Gassner Memorial and the DFAS National Playwriting Contest.. THE WAITING ROOM has been produced numerous times, from San Diego to New York. For more details, please e-mailtigerteam1@gmail.com

A woman hangs out her laundry while telling her unusual views on towels - and life.

This is possibly Janet S. Tiger's most produced work, having had numerous productions nationally and internationally. This is also a popular piece for drama contests and auditions.
Buy now
GET A COLD Running time –8 minutes $5.00/script Set – simple, future 1 characters 1 man – older

A man from the future describes the delight he has in the simple pleasure of...getting a cold.(****This monologue was completed in August 2005 -it is part of the full-length play THE END OF DEATH, which will receive its world premiere in August 2007 at Swedenborg Hall in San Diego.)

A moving expression of a man who is trying to deal with a transfusion from his son - a transfusion that has given him AIDS.

This monologue has been very successful in both state and national competitions.Click here to see one winner who used this monologue.

CURSE OF THE DUCHESS(monologue)

Running time – 15 minutes $8.00/script Set – minimal - chair, table, lamp Lighting and sound effects very important Character - The duchess - in her late 80s, very British

A duchess recounts how a curse changed her life. Touching- a tour de force for an older actress. Winner - DFAS National 1-Act Playwriting Contest 2nd Place Produced - Five Flags Theatre, Dubuque, Iowa Televised - Public Access Cable Channel Iowa

THE AIRPORT MONOLOGUES- (all set in an airport)

THIS FLIGHT HAS BEEN DELAYED AIRPORT DREAMSAUDITION PIECE - THE WINNER

ALWAYS IN MY HEART

Other new monologues-

WHAT HAVE I FORGOTTEN THIS TIME?

'When I was a little girl' monologue (female 30-50)
'Tillie's' monologue (female teens-30s)
both from THE END OF DEATH

Monologue from DON'T YOU CRY FOR ME (male)

More works by Janet S. Tiger will be coming soon - she has a drawer full of over 100 monologues/plays/screenplays/books that are 10-70% completed.

PRODUCTION INFO -For more details, click on PRODUCTIONS button at the top of the pagePlays by Janet S. Tiger have been performed throughout the world including United States, Canada, England, Austria and New Zealand. If your group has performed a play by Janet S. Tiger and would like to have it listed on the PRODUCTIONS page which will include international productions, please e-mail details of the production to tigerteam1@gmail.com.

Unusual facts about some of Janet S. Tiger's productions-
1st Reading - UGANDA at a Scripteasers meeting in....a long time ago. (See info about the one-act SCRIPTEASE.)

1st production - SCRIPTEASE (one-act) in 1981 was directed by William Virchis

Janet S. Tiger's plays have won awards five times in the DFAS National One-Act Playwriting Contest -

THE WAITING ROOM -2nd place 1982
THE AFFIDAVIT - 1st place 1983
BLIND WOMAN'S BLUFF - 3rd place 1984
SAVE A PLACE FOR ME - Honorable Mention 1989
CURSE OF THE DUCHESS- 2nd place 1990

The first three prizes were won by Janet Schechter (the 'S' in Janet S. Tiger), the others after she married Stanley Tiger. Janet traveled to Dubuque, Iowa to watch the productions in 1982, 1983 and 1984, and made many friends that she still is in touch with today. For more info on the DFAS Contest, google Dubuque Fine Arts Players One-Act Playwriting Contest