Is there any doubt that if conservatives could call all the shots in America they’d declare this a Christian nation, ban gay marriage and abortion, outlaw weed and flag burning and empower law enforcement to even more aggressively “keep the peace?” They say they’re against an authoritarian federal government but what they really want is an authoritarian federal government on their terms.

Did you know Jeb Bush is Catholic? Neither did I. He certainly doesn’t let it get in the way – like when he used the Church’s belief in the sanctity of life as cover for dicking around with Terri Schiavo, but didn’t let it prevent him from executing 21 guys. Anyway, whatever it was that Poppy and Bar believed around the house, it’s not something that rubbed off on the kids.

Hustler Magazine used to have something called “Asshole of the Month.” Or maybe they still do. Who reads magazines? But if that still exists I’d like to nominate Kansas Governor Sam Brownback, who has almost singlehandedly tanked the finances in his state by imagining that cutting taxes on the rich really was an economic theory and not just a ruse to funnel more money to the rich.

Herbal supplements are a $61 billion a year industry in America, and despite all of the claims these pills make – they help your memory, digestion, mood, and, of course, your penis – the industry is almost entirely unregulated. None of the claims these supplements make have to be proven in clinical tests, however the pills are supposed to contain what they say on the label.