Should You Move to Brooklyn?

Another Portlander’s view.

IMAGE: Morgan Green-Hopkins

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Having read this week’s cover story (“The Portlandification of Brooklyn”, Willamette Week August 10th, 2011), which paints Brooklyn
as Portland-plus-money-and-ambition, you may be considering a move to
this faraway promised land. (Realistically, you are probably rage-blind
with wounded regional pride—but let’s pretend.) I moved to Brooklyn in
2009 after four years in Portland, so let me help you contemplate the
pros and cons of such a move. Consider:

People: The
key difference between Brooklynites and Portlanders is in supply and
demand. Busy Brooklynites have less time in which to socialize with a
larger pool of people. In Portland, you may be forced to spend hours
chatting about craft beer with an underemployed graphic designer
thrilled just to be out of the house. In Brooklyn, you will meet
amazing, ambitious people who will give you exactly three seconds to
prove your worth before moving on. This is still better than Manhattan,
where you get half a second.

Bikes: Bicycling
around Portland is a dream. Bicycling around Brooklyn is also a dream,
albeit a dream where you’re chased by bellowing steel demons over an
obstacle course made of shattered glass. Don’t move to Brooklyn for the
biking.

Jobs: There
are no more jobs in Brooklyn (unemployment rate: 9.8 percent) than in
Portland (9.2 percent). But where unemployment in Portland is perversely
celebrated as a totally chill way to pass a month or 27, in Brooklyn
you’re just a bum. Coffee shops, for example, are largely not thrilled
to provide daycare for the unemployed and their Macbooks. Think sealed
power outlets and Wi-Fi time limits.

Housing: This makes me sad remembering all the big, cheap rooms in Portland. Let’s not talk about it.

Livability: People
are too busy actually living in Brooklyn to worry about livability.
Sure, the place is dirtier, more infested, louder, less curated than
Portland. But Brooklyn has the world’s best park (Prospect Park) and the
world’s best bagels (everywhere). You can take the subway to the beach
for $2.25 and get back to Manhattan in time to see a new movie, then
tweet about the good parts, ruining it for your Portland friends who
won’t be able to see it for months. Then meet the director. On the other
hand, there’s no street car.

So,
consider these points carefully, Portlanders. If you do end up in
Brooklyn, please buy me a beer. I spend all my money on my tiny
apartment. —Adrian Chen, a former WW intern, now works for Gawker