Currently I'm in a relationship with an ENTP. We've been seeing each other for about 7 months, He fascinates me. He's a cocky know-it-all and that's attractive to me. He has no fear. For us the relationship has been working pretty well.

He's blunt and brilliant and he can make me blush fairly easily with some of the stuff that just falls out of his mouth. What I like most though is how sharp his mind is and debating the hundreds of ideas that he effortlessly comes up with. Keeping up can be challenging but it's fun and boredom is the death knell in most of my prior relationships.

I've also given up on the myth of a soulmate. I am basically looking for someone who shares my values or at least the ones I'm willing to share with someone else and someone I can talk to who understands what the hell I'm talking about, because I know I'm not all that easy to talk to and someone I can have fun with. My T/F can fall one way or the other depending on the situation so intellectually, I'm well suited for an NT. As I've gotten older, my F has become more dominant and that's good. It's progress and that's another thing we both have in common, we both are trying to be better than what we are now and we both want to be in a relationship that is moving forward in terms of personal growth. As long as we can both stimulate each other and bring out the best in the other, it'll work out. If we stop growing or progressing towards something healthy for both of us, we'll walk away and move on. As an INFP, that's been hard for me in the past and initially it was difficult to talk to him about some of the things I was feeling. It was too intense and I overanalyse things and take things too personal. I really had to get over that with him. I sometimes wonder how my touchy feelyness doesn't just freak him out but he's laid back and realistic about things. I really love that about him. I can be myself and the more I do that the better it gets.

I'm confused. I recently found out my two best friends are ISFP and ENFJ. Now, I get how me and my ISFP friend could work- from what I've heard, we usually tend to get along well. But me and my ENFJ friend supposed "contrast" each other. Yet our relationship has never been strained, we have always been very open with each other, and we've been friends for five years this last June. Is it possible that because we counterbalance each other, that maybe opposites really do attract? Or in this case, contrasts. Also, awkward moment: my nun is the dame personality type. How come our relationship can be do straighned at times if ne and my friend's works so well?

ok dear INFPs I have an INFP girlfreind been together 4 yrs now she has been battling through some stuff she did something that really made me angry the kind I rarely get which is I completely shut you out which I did coz she would not have stopped so did not pick calls or read her texts for several days , well she just attempted suicide I got on of those weired hunches out of no where decided to just check my phone found a text saying she is sorey and she just took a bunch of drugs and my not live through the night , walked to her place found her drugs all over the place lying in the bathroom got her to hospital she is out of danger now but she started snapping at me over the past few weeks and was getting worse ,angry all the time causing fights and just being down right nasty , then apologises cries and says she does not know why it keeps happening and she is extremely full.of guilty that making it even worse for her I have no Idea how to get through to her to let go of the guilty and stuff inside as she gets withdraw and does not say whats really bothering her till she starts snapping and getting nasty any opinions on how to handle this and help her .

From an INTP standpoint, I think that INFPs are the most adorable people I could ever hope to know. I like to praise my INFP friend because she gets so blushy and even sweeter. I think I'd like to date a sweetie INFP if he wouldn't mind.

Well hi! I just joined this forum specifically to share my experience.So I have been with a guy from some while.I didn't know much about these all types and stuff before.When I found he was INTJ,I was kinda surprised.I have just a basic information about these types so I typically thought someone having a T should be like poker face,no feelings.But he really was passionate and intense.However as time passed I paid closer attention and alot if stuff came up that made me curious.He had like this whole other personality bottled up with secrets and darkness.So I being well very much not afraid of darkness became unbearably interrogative.
Now I kind of feel that he really appreciated the fact that even after seeing the most strangest displays I just stayed and not with an open weirded out mouth but a fascinated expression.But that was all.
He didnot want me to run after answers and try to find why.
So I kind of am like ...something happens and that jabber questions button of mine is pushed so I get extremely dramatic and overly affectionate to try and get a response but it ends up in grunts and "shut up already you don't have to understand everything" kind if stuff.
Heh by the way,INTJs are just so damn cool.I kind of feel like I obssess alot about reasons but I really dont know how to stop.Sometimes the attempts do get fruitful though.Just sometimes.

From my perspective as an INF(P-J) you can't beat the INTJ. Their rational balance and ability to make decisive decisions is really nice when the deliberation and consideration drag out. The knowledge of feelings and perceptual considerations also can really help an INTJ share their brilliance in meaningful ways with others. However, an INTJ did just rip my heart out. Seriously, who says yes to my proposal and then calls me in the hospital two days later saying the don't want to see each other for awhile. Then sends me an email 67 days later ending the relationship. Whatever, I'll only never move on it's ok you've ruined my love life forever.

I've taken the mbti test several times and my feeling-thinking and perception-judging balance is always split almost 50/50.

Well, that's what being 'bi-polar' is all about.
What MBTI doesn't mention is that it is entirely possible to transcend one's own personality, and become, instead, REAL.

I don't know crow, thats pretty short sighted. MBTI is a clustering approach to understanding personality and how we interact. Bipolar is a clinical disease diagnosed based on criteria in the DSM5. Both have their weakness, but are distantly different things.

I neglected the idea that MBTI is an analytical approach to understanding personality, at great personal cost. I did this because as you point out I felt we are all human and our personality is shaped by every situation and environmental influence on our biology; meaning to me that anyone could display any characteristics of the mbti dualities. However, the point is to provide a tool for ways of productively interacting. If someone identifies with their own type, denying the instrument that gives them that identity only serves to undermine a potential area you could connect.

In other words , dismissing my frustration at having a balanced approach to thinking, judging, feeling, and perceiving, while blaming it on my bipolar is not only unproductive; it's flat out wrong. A perfect example of the overgeneralization cognitive distortion.

ok dear INFPs I have an INFP girlfreind been together 4 yrs now she has been battling through some stuff she did something that really made me angry the kind I rarely get which is I completely shut you out which I did coz she would not have stopped so did not pick calls or read her texts for several days , well she just attempted suicide I got on of those weired hunches out of no where decided to just check my phone found a text saying she is sorey and she just took a bunch of drugs and my not live through the night , walked to her place found her drugs all over the place lying in the bathroom got her to hospital she is out of danger now but she started snapping at me over the past few weeks and was getting worse ,angry all the time causing fights and just being down right nasty , then apologises cries and says she does not know why it keeps happening and she is extremely full.of guilty that making it even worse for her I have no Idea how to get through to her to let go of the guilty and stuff inside as she gets withdraw and does not say whats really bothering her till she starts snapping and getting nasty any opinions on how to handle this and help her .

Hi there, first of all, your doing well just by reaching out to try and understand. Not many people have the strength to do that when an INFP they care about is all twisted like that. So knowing how she feels, because believe me I've behaved in similar ways I have two comments. 1st is there is something bothering her that she want s to share, but doesn't know how to without feeling overwhelmingly insecure. All you can do is listen, maintain your boundaries when you have to, and forgive her when she realizes she has taken out her own conflict on you. Sometimes you have to vent a lot of small things to get to the thing that is really the problem.

2nd seems like your pushing for answers when what she really needs is someone to listen. Stop asking, be ok with silence, let her talk, and tell her what your hearing. Validating her experience will potentially get you a long way

Hi All,
my wife is INFP, and i dont really know how to put this, so ill just say - ive been friendzoned. Been married ~20years, but intimacy dropped way off after 7 years. Then eventually we had a sit down chat, but she did not open up, so i did. I had been reading psychology books to try and understand, most of which said 'stop chasing' if some one is moving away all the time, stop moving after them, stand still, acknowledge the space and allow them time to also see the space. So i did that. For five years in which time we had no intimacy at all. Then we had another sit down chat in which i said, if she loved me, i needed to hear it, I needed to feel it. We had sex that year - three times. Then nothing again. I dont really understand. Actually, I really dont understand. For example, I travel for work, so might be away for 2 weeks or so, but when i get back, she is not interested in a hug as i walk in the door. By hug, i mean simply an 'expectation free' hug, just 'welcome back, ist great to see you' kind of thing.

I think ive been friendzoned and have no idea why. What goes on in an INFP that contributes to this kind of thing, is it common for an INFP to not be in to affection? Does the fact that her father was emotionally distant (still is) have something to do with it, and is there any way we can reach a point where i feel like more than a walking salary supporting her lifestyle?

Hi All,
my wife is INFP, and i dont really know how to put this, so ill just say - ive been friendzoned. Been married ~20years, but intimacy dropped way off after 7 years. Then eventually we had a sit down chat, but she did not open up, so i did. I had been reading psychology books to try and understand, most of which said 'stop chasing' if some one is moving away all the time, stop moving after them, stand still, acknowledge the space and allow them time to also see the space. So i did that. For five years in which time we had no intimacy at all. Then we had another sit down chat in which i said, if she loved me, i needed to hear it, I needed to feel it. We had sex that year - three times. Then nothing again. I dont really understand. Actually, I really dont understand. For example, I travel for work, so might be away for 2 weeks or so, but when i get back, she is not interested in a hug as i walk in the door. By hug, i mean simply an 'expectation free' hug, just 'welcome back, ist great to see you' kind of thing.

I think ive been friendzoned and have no idea why. What goes on in an INFP that contributes to this kind of thing, is it common for an INFP to not be in to affection? Does the fact that her father was emotionally distant (still is) have something to do with it, and is there any way we can reach a point where i feel like more than a walking salary supporting her lifestyle?

sorry, and thank you for your time.
sam

Seems over my head to help you with. Maybe, ask her if she would go to a professional with you. I've never been married, only felt ready to get married once. What do you know about her that she has said makes her feel close to you?

she likes to talk, I know the topics of choice, and am (almost) equally interested in those; we happily talk across philosophy, psychology and arts related topics. I do that regularly, i know its good for us to voice thoughts, and have discussions. She is happy and content with a good natter, then gets on with her life. I dont know if im missing something about INFP types. I've only known 2 as close friends. I dont think she would agree to prof counselling.