Sunday, June 29, 2008

Apparently some in HR field think that by changing the employee titles, they can make the difference.

That's why Starbucks don't call their waiters 'waiter'. They slap craps on their name tags by calling these people 'barista'.

Or Walt Disney when they chose to call their engineers 'imagineers'. What the hack was that?

Wall Mart and Home Depot call all their non-management staffs 'associates'. If only they really mean it.

Hotels proudly call their masseuse 'massage therapists'. As if their touch is any less tempting.

Customer Service Executive is now commonly called Customer Care Consultants. How I wish that was true- the 'consult' and 'care' .

Scan the job market for Marketing Executive and you'll find millions of them- where 99.9% will land you in a job of a salesperson. Or a telemarketer. (no..marketing is not merely selling)

Maybe because the Marketing people has a new name. Well, Apple seems to call them 'Evangelist'.

No different with 'Administration Executive'. Most of them are secretaries doing clerical stuffs. Wait....I'm sorry, no, they're not secretaries. They're executives. Doing secretarial and clerical stuffs. In companies without secretary and enough staffs.

Things are all well with Management Trainee- except the 'Management Trainee' part. You don't train to be management personnel. You're trained to be a management tool, with a prospect of having another 1-year extension to your contract. You're a temp.

"We're the best company. Our staffs have catchy titlesand work in cool departments."

Companies put hyped-up titles on their employees for one reason- to deceive.

To deceive employees that they're special, unique. Or they're being promoted into something more significant. Minus the raise, the perks and the authority.

To deceive customers that they're being treated by specialists. By pros. In exchange for higher charges.

If someone actually thinks that these unique designations actually reflect their value and nature of their jobs better, I have some suggestions.

Stock traders should be renamed as 'speculator'. And recognizing the Accountant's talent in cooking the book, they should be called 'Chef'.

Why don't we rename PR personnel as 'BS' personnel. And simply, company lawyers as 'Shark'.

And because receptionists direct visitors around the office, we should call them 'Director'.

Luckily they don't talk like this.

They did a better job bringing people in the right direction, compared to an actual director- who we should herein rename as 'Dictator'.

Zedd,I miss ur entry a lot! But today because of my 'TITLE', I am able to chat and look for your new entry. Well done!As before this I was proud of my title, now I have to realize - it just a word.Sadly,it is word of the liar!

If you're in the corporate world, Black Zedd's blog is a must-read. Just make sure not to browse his site during work hours, or your illicit chuckles may garner a few eyebrows. Eh, what the heck, send this to your boss! Tip Diva

Wow! Really good corporate humor. Dilbert may have a run for his money. Great job!
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