Border Patrol: Taco Bell Confirms New Flavor of Doritos Locos Tacos

The world has been waiting with bated, nacho-cheese-y breath to see how Taco Bell would duplicate its extraordinary success through the wizardry of Frito-Lay-flavored taco shells. Today Greg Creed, the Bell’s wild and crazy CEO, previewed the chain’s new Super Bowl ad for CBS. Since the commercial’s stale setup of old people tasting a product and acting young again sort of hit its apex already with 1985’s Cocoon, Creed had no choice but to then resort to spilling some industry secrets as the segment arrived at its long-awaited end. “We’ve got Cool Ranch. That’s coming … That’s my tease,” the suit admitted to Gayle King about the next taco barreling down the fast-food Mexican pipeline. (Guess those tests last summer worked out.) Great news, since everyone knows Cool Ranch is basically the best flavor of Doritos out there. So, when can we try one?

Sadly, we may never really know until they’re already here, since co-host Charlie Rose, who looks like he could really use one of those youth-rejuvenating tacos himself, ruined the ramp-up with another slow-ball question about brand strategy. Argh! Cool Ranch tacos, so close and still so far away …