The Real Reason Your Guy Is Acting All Distant

Playing hard to get is an enduring relationship "rule" that some say works wonders to get a guy to dig you more. But if you keep up this game in a relationship, you may be seriously effing things up.

Researchers at DePaul's College of Communication and West Virginia University set out to try to make sense of why someone in a relationship would play hard to get—i.e. act aloof or distant toward a partner even when he or she is actually in love with that person. (Sounds pretty ridic when you put it that way, right?)

They found that couples tend to purposefully withhold affectionate behavior from each other as much as five times a week, which can super detrimental to a relationship. (Uh, hello, mixed signals suck!) But why not share the love? Participants said they withheld affection due to insecurity, fear that their behavior would appear inappropriate, and a fear of rejection.

"Our findings do not suggest that individuals are using or manipulating their partners in negative ways," said Sean Horan, an assistant professor of relational communication at DePaul. "Instead, they show the complex ways in which communicators withhold affection. At times, it appears to be more of a source issue grounded in the fear of rejection or a violation of societal norms."

Other studies have shown that, on a health level, couples who put it all out there are less stressed and have lower blood pressure. So, playing games with your emotions isn't all that good for you—or for your partner. Plus, why make your man feel un-loved when you can just make out with him instead, amiright?