November 26 – Communicate

How often do we communicate what we need? Our true feelings? Our desires and passions?

What are we communicating if we aren’t showing our true selves to those we love?

Are we being fair in what we do communicate?

While I strive to be a positive, upbeat person, I must admit, I frequently communicate negative thoughts, words and emotions, especially in the past year, and especially against myself.

I am often hardest on me—and by default—the other half of me—my husband.

I am unfair.

I am angry.

I am unyielding.

But I’m willing to change.

I want to start communicating what I need without the expectation that anyone needs to fulfill that need, but simply to help others understand me better, to own my needs, embrace them and find my own solutions so the burden of fulfillment is not on another.

I want to start communicating my true feelings, but without blaming others or circumstances for those emotions. I want to own my feelings and not feel guilt because of them. I want to let myself know that I have a choice how I react to the way I feel.

I want to communicate my dreams and goals and passions in a way that propels them forward, not imprison them in an “if only” or “I wish” purgatory.

I have the power to change my attitude, my words and my communications, but that change has to begin with how I treat myself.

With my closest of confidants, I spend too much time and effort apologizing for who I am, what I do, what I think, what I want, how I feel.

It’s exhausting.

I am a positive, look-at-the-bright-side person, but I have become distracted by situations, circumstances and people out of my control.

The only person I can control is me. I can’t control what happens to me, but I can control how I react.