How do i move forward

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I'm wondering if anyone has had a similar experience to the following and if anyone can advise there similar experience.

I'm a very pro active person and ive spent all my life building relationships, achieving good things only to sabotage over and over again.

I found teal and did the healing the emotional body and I found that because my dad left me when I was two I have spent the rest of my life stopping people getting too close and pushing things away before getting to good before they could hurt me. I find a lot of teals processes amazing to finding answers to some issues that keep repeating through out the course of my life, I should have a lot of friends but I keep them at arms length so a lot of the time I feel lonely.... However knowing the answer to why I do what I do still doesn't stop me feeling lonely? I know why I do what I do, but I still keep doing it.... I just want to allow people in my life, I want to trust and I want to stop being so paranoid that every body is out to hurt me.

As a side note- I am a really hands on father to my three children, I love them so much and I am trying the very best I can to be the best father I can be and I feel guilty that although I'm surrounded by so much love, I still don't feel loved. Does anyone knoe why this is?