I shopped for light bulbs the other day. What. An. Ordeal. Can I just tell you how confusing it was? And how expensive? Oh, for the days of a ninety-nine cent incandescent bulb and the only choice you had to make was the wattage.

Edison would shake his head at it all. Can you imagine his face if he could hear us tell Alexa to turn on the lights?

The absolute miracle of a light bulb barely registers a mention on my daily gratitude list, Counting It ALL Joy. Not until the bulb burns out or the power goes off. I don’t really appreciate the light until it’s dark.

I’ve experienced days (weeks, months) of darkness, the jet black, can’t see your hands in front of your face kind. I’ve groped around, blindly searching for a switch to illuminate a way out of the deep despair.

Matthew 4:16 says, “The people living in darkness have seen a great light.”

I’d seen and experienced that life-giving light of Christ, but there were times both the light and the life were MIA. Just when I needed them the most.

I needed a floodlight, but honestly? I’d have been satisfied with the flicker of a twinkle light.

So it’s ironic (and somewhat of a perplexity) that my favorite picture which hangs on our wall is a piece of prophetic, graphic art with two words:

bright people

This original piece of art was a going-away gift to Roger and I, from Jim Gilbert, a friend of ours, when we moved from Ohio to California in 1978. We were stunned by his generosity and by our friend’s talent. But the thing that made it really special was the personal nature of the gift. In his eyes, WE were the bright people. The light bulbs represented US.

He’s off – She’s on

She’s off – He’s on

Both off

Both on

Bothgone

At the time, Jim had no idea of the prophetic nature of his gift. It was a stunning addition to our home, but it became such an accurate portrayal of our marriage. My husband and I rarely seemed to be “on” at the same time. After 46 years of marriage, I realize that’s actually pretty normal, but it was discouraging back then.

The biggest frustration was the spiritual disparity we so often experienced. My inner light glowed when I walked in my gifts and calling but at the same time he felt distant from the Lord. Or he’d be all gung-ho about a big new ministry and I was still wounded from the last ministry fiasco.

Grace for the “off” times

Roger always seemed to have grace for my “off” times, but I confess I had less grace for his. My propensity was to tell him to just snap out of it; trust me, that never works.

My “off” times were primarily fear-based; anxiety-ridden foreboding about what was behind the black curtain of the future. That’s also why I became anxious when he was “off.”

I thought life was supposed to be a colorful Light-Brite toy, and when it wasn’t (or when I wasn’t), I felt guilty and ashamed and like I was less than a Christian. Or else I’d feel prideful about my shininess and judge everyone else, walking around with my stash of light bulbs, handing them out to my dim friends and family.

That went over big.

One night I dreamed that I was alone in a pitch black room. It was claustrophobic and terrifying. In desperation, I walked until I felt a perimeter wall and then followed that wall, my hand searching for a door to escape. Nothing. Finally, my hand touched something soft and warm. I felt fabric, flesh. I knew it was Jesus and instantly woke up with the reassurance that HE was the door, He was the Way, He was the LIGHT.

Light bulb lessons

It’s taken me years to realize that not only can I not fix anybody (including myself) it’s not my job. I can barely keep my own lamp lit, let alone see to yours.

On my own I can barely see my feet in front of me. I’ve also learned that light is a lot like manna. You can’t hoard it. The Lord gives us just the light we need for the moment. I’ve strained my eyes trying to see what’s ahead.

Sometimes I get a sense of the future; once in a rare while, I’ve had a vision, but mostly I seem to exist in a kind of just- enough-light-to-see-five-feet-in-front-of-me tension.

Bright People has traveled across the country with us multiple times and it’s found a home in every location we lived. But there was one time when its home was a closet because it was just too painful for me to look at day in and day out. We weren’t bright people then; neither of us. I prayed for two years asking God to rekindle our flame.

We’re both on and shining now but it took Roger’s light being nearly snuffed out for it to happen. Two years ago, he flat-lined for 26 minutes after he experienced a pulmonary embolism. What a miracle it is that he is still here, his light shining brighter than ever before!

The wake-up call of his near death experience was truly a light bulb moment. While I still have breath, I want to be on, to shine, to be a “bright person.”

Walking in the light

Oswald Chambers said that to “walk in the light” means that everything that is of the darkness actually drives me closer to the center of the light.

The darkness of my situation didn’t necessarily dissipate, but as those verses burrowed their way into my broken heart, I gradually began to radiate and reflect His light. I became luminous. True illumination is an inside job.

The unfolding of Thy words gives light, it gives understanding to the simple. Ps 119:130.

Another light bulb moment

It may be that I’ve been looking that at our Bright People picture wrong all these years. The on and off, thing – that’s just life. Maybe it’s more about what we do with the light we have than worrying about our lack of it.

We’re not supposed to hoard that light; we’re supposed to share it. It’s like those Christmas Eve candlelight services where we light each other‘s candles. One person’s flame sparks another’s and another’s until the darkened room is engulfed in holy tongues of fire.

If you are walking in the light but your spouse isn’t or your children aren’t; your boss isn’t or your next door neighbors aren’t, you can’t allow their darkness to dim your lamp. You’re not responsible for their light; your responsibility is to stay plugged into your power source. And maybe don’t turn your spotlight on their problems; pray for them to have higher wattage.

Study, write down those verses like I did and pray them, for yourself and for others. I promise you, the darkness will eventually be dispelled. And when that light starts to peek in, remember the Source. It’s the light of Christ that’s shining, not you. You’re a reflection.

God is light; in him there is no darkness at all 1 John 1:5

Even during the darkest period of my life, when it felt like I was walking in darkness, I wasn’t. I know that because I still sought God. The light of Christ in me caused me to seek God. He was seeking me, too. It wasn’t easy and it wasn’t pleasant. But the lights were never truly off. That was the lie of the enemy.

Ah, what freedom to know that I don’t have to be perfect, that He knows my fear of the dark, that He knows me and loves me just as I am. And He loves my spouse the same way.

So, this little light of mine? By the grace of God, I’m gonna’ let it shine.

Reflection

If you’re feeling like your light has dimmed, grab your journal and ask God how He sees it. Ask the Holy Spirit to rekindle your flame, to shine His spotlight on your heart and reveal areas of pride, shame or anger. If you’re currently “ON” and someone close to you is “OFF” ask the Holy Spirit to show you how to come alongside them, gently offering to share your light.

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Comment

Name *

Email *

Website

Notify me of follow-up comments by email.

Notify me of new posts by email.

WELCOME! SUBSCRIBE BELOW & NEVER MISS A POST.

* indicates required

Email Address *

First Name

Last Name

CLICK ON IMAGE TO PREVIEW OUR CD!

Do you begin the holidays with high hopes and end up with headaches? Check out my book Holidazed. CLICK THE IMAGE!

SEE WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING

Susan Ely, thank you for sharing your amazing testimony with CWC today. God is using you in more ways than you’ll ever know. Totally Awesome!

Debbie PhillipsDunn Christian Women’s Connection

I loved your “invitation” opening. Its one of those ways your listeners will recall your message of the wonder that Almighty God as gone to such lengths to give us his word.

Phyllis SternStonecroft Speaker Trainer

Thank you for participating in the Call to Prayer. Your presentation was powerful and prepared our hearts for prayer. We came away from the morning knowing we had been in God’s presence.

Joyce WagstaffSRA Stonecroft Inernational

Thank you for your powerful spiritual messages, Susan. God truly spoke through you in a mighty way! Your messages were a rich blessing to each of us! I learned so much from the way you prepared to help me as I prepare for Bible Studies.

Peggy RiceChairSmoky Mt. Women’s Retreat

A year since our retreat… and in this season of my life, I have begun to once again apply your “Re-words.” Yours yesterday was God’s timing for me … and today, also! Thanks so much!

Carla HawkinsPianist Smoky Mt. Women’s Retreat

We were so blessed to have you share your message and journey with us. So many members wanted me to let you know that you touched their hearts and souls and I am sure the 1st timers were given hope and reassurance by your words. I hope we have a chance to cross paths again.