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I know about Bettie Page, even before watching the movie on NetFlix. I know about the Marquis de Sade and Fanny Hill (though I haven’t read it). I like reading about people in history so it’s good to have some new names to look up and research.

“People who want to live like Olympian gods must have slaves whom they throw into their fishponds and gladiators who fight during their masters’ sumptuous banquets–and the pleasure-seekers never care if some blood splatters on them.” — Leopold von Sacher-Masoch

The term sadism – the act of finding pleasure in the degradation or pain of others – originated from Marquis de Sade’s title, the author of the infamous 18th century text 120 Days of Sodom. Napolean Bonaparte, the man responsible for approximately 2.5 million deaths during the French wars, thought the the Marquis de Sade’s fiction was written from “the most depraved imagination” and ordered Sade’s imprisonment. Perhaps the Marquis’ literary fame invoked the jealousy of Napoleon, who was also a writer – but of markedly less-imaginative romantic fiction.

Vatsyayana, a celibate Indian monk who penned the Kama Sutra in the 2nd Century, wrote, “[sex] can be compared to a quarrel, on account of the contraries of love and its tendency to dispute.” The Kama Sutra not only tells readers where to “strike with passion,” but how – “back of the hand, fingers constricted, fist or palm.”

Pain can feel great. It leads to a rush of endorphins in the body similar to a push of morphine. Leopold Ritter Von Sacher-Masoch, like the Marquis de Sade, was an erotic author and imaginist who modeled his life after his fantasies. Sacher-Masoch traveled across Europe with his mistress, whom he requested be a “Venus in Furs” and enslave him – “the more cruelly she treats him and the more faithless she is, the worse she uses him, the more wantonly she plays with him, the less pity she shows him…she increase[s] his desire.”

In his 1748 novel Fanny Hill, the most frequently seized novel from United States mail, John Cleland tells the tale of young fictional Fanny – an English prostitute- who acts as a submissive. Cleland writes that the way Fanny’s body looked when she was being whipped, “feasted the luxury of the eye.” Literature isn’t the only place that BDSM elements have been shown as both sensual and aesthetic.

Bettie Page, a 1950s pin-up model, helped bring BDSM into mainstream American culture. Her infamous photos were the subject of public hearings headed by Estes Kefauver, a senator who twice ran for president. The Kefauver hearing centered on the indecency of pornography – especially images and video featuring BDSM elements. The 1959 trial was based on the premise that “merchants of filth” were “as dangerous to society as dope peddlers.”

Bettie herself was subpoenaed for the 1959 Kefauver trials in violation of obscenity laws, after a few of her naughtier photos, of her dressed in fetish heels and black lingerie, resurfaced in a porn shop. The stills and videos of Bettie spanking disobedient yet consenting women were seized by New York police.

The link below offers a fairly traditional list of FemDom fetishes and kinks. I read the list and then thought: I don’t actually want most of that. Or, if I do, it’s not really all that interesting after a short time. Not for me, individually, personally.

Women as Doms are pushed to perform for male submissives. Stop and think… What do you actually want?

Foot worship… slobber on your feet and foot wear. How attractive is that? Get him to pamper your feet in practical ways: manicures, leg waxing and massage. Change foot worship into foot service and reap the rewards!

Chastity… really means chastity for both of you. Would you prefer having him make love to you – the way you want him to? Yes, you can have him perform and give you an orgasm but is that really enough for you? Chastity works better as a tease than a reality. Long periods of time spent in chastity are usually just in stories, not fact.

Sissy play… Do you really like seeing him feminized? How does that make you feel about being a woman yourself? I don’t like sissy play. Not because I don’t like the torment of putting him into high heels, a frilly pair of panties, etc. But, I feel there is an aspect of sissy play which minimalizes women and being a woman.

Spanking… play, punishment, pleasure…? Do you enjoy giving a spanking? Do you like the exercise you get from it? By the end of the spanking do you have bruises too?

Bondage and teasing I do like. But, I make sure I’m doing both my way. I make sure I’m enjoying teasing him and I prefer mental bondage to the risk of tools and gadgets which are really physical objects to symbolize the actual control and power. Physical bondage works when I want to see him struggle and squirm and he likes being able to do so.

Roleplay… I do enjoy adding flavour with roleplay. But, how do you feel about it yourself? Does some of it feel silly, over done? Do you enjoy it or is it a performance and you’re glad when it’s over and you can be yourself again?

Learn how domination can boost your confidence and bring you closer to your man with these sexy femdom ideas that you can cater to your interests!

Why do we like sex with giant/ alien insect creatures? It’s a fetish which usually involves being forced too. Is that part of it? Being desired sexually by someone (or thing) and having our better judgment suspended? So much of kinkiness is about what is and is not taboo for our culture. Something which breaks our acceptable standards must be labeled kinky, or a fetish, because it’s abnormal even wrong.

We do need standards for behaviour in our culture. We need laws and codes of conduct and protocol to guide us and avoid chaos. But, in our imaginations we can be as weird and unacceptable as we choose. The problem arises when imagination becomes reality. People question the lines drawn and standards and rules are sometimes changed. For better, or for worse?

Anyway, I do like kinky bug sex. Analyzing why spoils it. Like holding it up to a light and making it seem something I have to be responsible for, answer for. But, it’s all in my imagination. I don’t take kinky bug sex ideas into reality. I do like seeing illustrations from others however. I do like kinky bug sex in movie scenes and written erotica. But, these are things I enjoy in the privacy of my own computer.

I have never tried anything with a real insect. That would be too weird and very unsatisfactory as an experience. Reality has too many limits to enjoy kinky bug sex. The fantasy is only limited by imagination and my own moral standards.

First of all, would anyone buy this without knowing how it stays on? The seller offers instructions with purchase, but I’d want to know before buying it.

The best thing about this clitoris clip-on is being able to experiment with clit piercing without actually getting holes punched into your delicate bits. Just like clip-on earrings instead of pierced earrings. It’s a great idea. But, how does it stay on? Does it pinch the way clip-on earrings often did? Or does it fall off kind of easily? Clip-on earrings used to slip off or be too tight. I think that’s really why people ended up getting their ears pierced instead. It was a nuisance to lose so many earrings.Crystalled Beauty Clit Clip Stud Button Hugger Under The Hood Intimate Jewelry & Gifts Silvertone base clip features a 3/4 inch (2cm) goldtone
Source: Clit Clip Stud Under The Hoode Crystalled Beauty by UnderTheHoode

I do admit I’m curious, in a kinky way, about this too.

Dommes can have a lot of assorted fantasies. We don’t live in a box on your computer.

My fantasy of having a clit piercing isn’t so much about ownership as belonging to someone, or WITH someone. There is a difference. But, either way it is being marked for (or by) someone else.

I’d like to find a submissive man who gets that distinction. I really don’t want full time ownership of a man. I want a man with a mind and will of his own. I want an equal partner who I also own, a man who belongs with me and knows (and likes) his place. Maybe that only makes sense to me.

I’m not likely to buy the clit-on. But, I will remember the idea and I am posting it here. Share the idea with someone you love, or want to love.

I fixed the door lock/ handle on the front door today. Feeling pretty good about figuring it out and actually getting it put together and fully functional again. Started me thinking about women doing home repairs and that led to thoughts about domestic discipline. I’d really like to find a man who does dishes, house cleaning, without complaining or expecting it is “women’s work”. Beyond the kinky stuff, I think a man who does dishes and etc would be a stronger type of person, someone capable, who makes his own decisions.

Pretty pink soap even! I like the apron idea more as fashion than feminization. But, pretty pink soap would be more about teasing him.

The Astrology of Kink: The Sagittarius Adventure

Sagittarius is represented by the Centaur, half-human, half-horse. Ever visit a stud farm during breeding season? Equines who are otherwise decent-enough working animals are insane with the urge to breed; the only thing standing between the animals’ urges and utter rutting chaos is the intervention of human handlers.

It’s lucky for the rest of us, then, that Sagittarius has its human handler built in — if they’ll stoop to obeying him or her, that is. The sex drive is strong, impulsive, and somewhat conquest-oriented, and some Centaurs end up with more notches on their bedposts than Virgo has little pills.

Sagittarius has the ability to easily separate sex from emotion. Security and intimacy are important to Sagittarius, but are not necessarily linked to their fiery physical drives. Spontaneous sexual adventures and one-night stands are usually guilt-free; Sagittarians hate restrictions of all kinds, and the occasional bout of unrestrained sexual freedom can be deeply satisfying in a way that other signs might not readily understand.

Sagittarians also make fantastic sex workers, especially if the job calls for live action on demand. They’re not necessarily the show-offs of the sex industry, but practicality and physical vigor more than make up for any lack of showmanship.

This is a mutable sign, and its ruler Jupiter lends a cavalier streak — Sagittarius will try anything once. They’re not fond of labels (labels equal limits) but will sometimes compromise outwardly in order to maintain security at home. Hence, you find a large number of naturally pansexual Sagittarians maintaining the appearance of a monosexual relationship, while dallying elsewhere with members of both sexes. They’re also attracted to the idea of open relationships, but, like their opposing sign Gemini, sometimes find even open agreements tough to keep; restrictions are restrictions, after all, no matter how generous!

Oddly enough, Sagittarius tends to pick up specific fetishes more readily than any other sign except for Virgo. Stocking fetishes, latex fetishes, more esoteric fetishes like pony play or other role-specific “musts” … you name it, a Sagittarius will adopt it, at least for a little while. The difference between Virgo and Sagittarius is persistence; a Centaur’s fetishistic interests tend to fade abruptly. This sign explores things thoroughly, yes, but then moves on to the next unexplored sexual arena with little warning and even less regret.

Both Mars and Venus in Sagittarius are equally prone to this adventurous outlook on sex. The Sagittarian Sun shares it, too, but most Centaur Suns tend to settle down eventually, and turn their expansive urges toward less physical conquests. No Sagittarian can tolerate excessive restrictions, though, no matter how settled they seem. Confinement is always uncomfortable, and when the horizon of possibilities begins shrinking around them, it’s only a matter of time before they react, with all the desperation of a claustrophobic mustang in a broom closet.

If you’re the kind of person who values spontaneity, adventure and fiery independence over certain security, you’ll love Sagittarius. Give them plenty of room to explore all the fascinating experiences life has to offer, and you’ll have a lover who is affectionate, playful and vital. Try to fence them in, and all you’ll have is an empty paddock. Think you can handle this free spirit? If you can, it’ll be the ride of a lifetime.

How to Dom with Light Bondage

Restraints

Sensual Deprivation

Discipline

Safety

Restraints

Restraints are rope, cuffs, etc. Start with something you can easily work with, safely. You want your submissive to be able to get out of the bondage quickly if things suddenly become too intense. Also, you don’t want to start out making a lot of fancy knots then discover you can’t get them all undone again. Any restraint used must be tested before you start using it as bondage.

Restraints don’t have to be physical. Mental bondage is a lovely thing and great for beginners. You have the power to control your submissive – knowing his bondage is not enforced by anything but his own decision to obey. There is more power in a submissive obedient by choice rather than ropes, chains, leather, etc.

Sensual Deprivation

Sensual deprivation is an element of bondage. Blindfolds are less complicated than some methods which include a full hood over the head. Also, a blindfold is simple for beginners to use and experiment with. Don’t take away more than one of the five senses at a time (for a beginner in bondage). Keep it fun rather than making them go from nervous and uncertain to actually being afraid.

Think of sensual deprivation as the element of surprise. Use it to tease and give your submissive less control. Build suspense and anticipation. While using a blindfold, narrate everything you are doing or plan to do. While they are in restraints you have taken away their ability to use their hands. A blindfold limits what they can see so they strain a little to use the senses they have left. Make sure you use as many senses as you can when you deprive them of one, or more.

Discipline

Discipline includes spanking but is not limited to just that. Discipline can be a punishment. Discipline can be a set of rules or standards to be kept by the submissive. There is a lot you can do with discipline as mental and physical bondage.

You may have heard of domestic discipline. Spanking is usually included with this. The submissive is treated like a child or dog being trained. They are expected to perform tasks, mainly house cleaning. They may be expected to wear aprons.

The Gor books by John Norman inspired another branch of kinkiness which follows a strict discipline and set or orders. Lesser known are the books by Sharon Green who wrote a female Dom series set on other planets involving men and women being taken from Earth. I especially like her books myself.

Safety

Safety matters. I’m not making it first on my list but it should always be part of your considerations and planning. Anything you bring into play during your bondage should be tested out and practiced with. You don’t want to struggle with toys, tools or feel incompetent in the heat of the moment when you are both wound up.

Safety includes some time afterwards, to wind down, get feedback and care for your submissive: aftercare. Don’t skip aftercare. This time is good for the submissive to feel cared for, literally. The Dom also needs this time to wind down, release emotions and reconnect with their partner.