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Monday, January 22, 2007

Wow, my browser just let me stay logged in for the first time ever. Niiiice.

So the workout regime (which fell to the wayside rather suddenly sometime in October, thanks to sinus infections, midterms, and finals) is back on. I went today and did my thang... and I'm going to be ridiculously sore tomorrow. I'm already dragging my legs around like limp noodles. It's amazing how much muscle mass I've lost in the past three months... tragic, really. A hot bath and an early night are in order.

The pictures are coming along... more slowly, but still happening. I think I've scanned in at least 2,500, but probably closer to 3,000. I've got probably another 1,500 to go, and that doesn't include the ones I expect to spitefully turn up when I move out and unpack.

Now I realize how *cough* riveting my posts have been lately. But the thing is, living at home with 68-year-old parents doesn't leave much in the way of written amusement. That's not to say I haven't laughed (Mom picking on Sassy did make me giggle Saturday), but I'm afraid my *cough* brilliant writing skills are not up to making a life this mundane readable. Bear with me kids, eventually (perhaps when I start substitute teaching in a couple weeks) I'll have some funny antecdotes to share.

Of course, I could always divulge in an uber-nerdy computer-geek analysis of what I think Windows Vista will be like (8 more days!!!), or share the details of the Canon Powershot A630 10MP 4x optical zoom digital camera that I am sooooooo getting when I have some vestige of steady income. Oooh, baby! I love new toys.

I had a sobfest the other night. You know that last entry I wrote? I wrote it while in the final throes of feeling sorry for myself--missing my mommy (Michelle, not Mary), losing my self-confidence, and being ticked off at Dad for indulging in a Niki's-many-faults barrage. I'm not apologizing or anything--my emotions were quite valid--but I do want to clear up that I'm not perpetually feeling that way.

Argh, I can't believe I'm seriously considering getting a teaching degree after all--after all my years of refusal... and especially teaching right here at home, where I was so desperate to escape! I knew I was jinxing myself when I said I refused to be a teacher!

Saturday, January 20, 2007

I need to get out of this house. I'm sick of the sarcasm and the tension. I hate walking on eggshells so I won't piss off Mom and having to try to act like someone I'm not so Dad won't inform me that I'm a careless ditz (in those very words). I don't care how true it is or is not, I don't need to hear it. I'm mean enough to myself--I don't need my parents kicking in their own blows. I really can't do this much longer. I don't think I've felt this type of frustration or (dare I say) depression in a long time. I just can't do this much more.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Nothing new to report on the job front, other than perhaps that I'm getting a rather sizable lump on my head from banging it against the wall. I think the twitch is trying to come back.

HIRE ME, PLEASE!!!

Meanwhile, to soothe my frazzled nerves, I've taken on the enjoyable-yet-majorly-drawn-out task of scanning all of our family photos from, well, the past century. I lost track of how many photos I'd scanned somewhere around 1200... and that was almost a week ago. Thank goodness for monster hard-drives!

I really am enjoying the project, though. I think it's really cool going through pictures from the fifties and sixties, because I feel like I'm getting to know a different side to my parents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Plus, Mom, inspired by a photo of my great-(great)-grandfather St. Onge, told me one rather creepy ghost story last night, and I still have the chills. I need more details. I'm going to have to write a book based on all these family stories. I've got a premise in mind already... now I just need some form of income so I can get my arse out of this house to my own place--and freakin' privacy!

Ooh, speaking of privacy, I'd quite forgotten the fact that Mom never knocks before she comes in my room. I never know when I'll be working at my computer and suddenly hear someone blurt in my ear, "Who are you talking to [online]?" Argh.

Well, I officially should have been in bed two hours ago, so it's high time I do so. It's crazy... every night I fully intend to (and by all means feel ready to) be in bed by midnight, but then I see that pile of pictures. Then I just get sucked in.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Maybe it's PMS. But I feel a sense of despair and doom [again]. I have a nightmare (daymare?) of me sitting in this 10x10 bedroom at this computer, Mom and Dad nagging me to "try the school, try this, try that..." from daybreak until bedtime from now until, well, forever. And there's me sitting at this computer, seeing endless job requirements containing the dreaded phrase, "At least x years professional experience required."

Save yourself while you can! Stay in college forever! Take every internship you can! Save yourself from this madness!!!!!!!

Pardon me, please, while I go curl up in a fetal position behind my bookshelves.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

As you may or may not know, a few weeks ago, my doctor found a large ovarian cyst on my right ovary during a routine examination. It didn’t look very cool at all.

I was scheduled to go to my gynecologist this morning and have surgery tomorrow (number 17—whoo-hoo!). Well, I went to the doctor, and she found nothing there! There was clearly a large mass on my ovary on my previous ultrasound, but today, 3 weeks later, not a dang thing. I mentioned before that it wouldn’t be my life without drama; but it also wouldn’t be my life without miracles. God is faithful and good.

Now, the job hunt begins. Anyone got any publishing leads? I can use all the help I can get. ;)

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Well, Mom stormed out of the house "going, I don't know, maybe to get a few drinks or something," with nose in the air and her silent martyrdom attitude, and neither Dad nor I can can figure out what the heck set her off this time.

Call me selfish if you will, but I hate having to tiptoe around someone with a fragile temper whose tantrums are almost entirely unpredictable. I can't figure her mind out for anything.

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