Ru-minations: Get Snatched or Go Home

I must be mistaken. You see, I thought we came here for RuPaul’s Drag Race All-Stars. Not Toddlers and Tiaras, where little piggies wee-wee-wee all the way home.

We’ll get to that.

The girls entered the workroom this week after Roxxxy Andrews sent Coco Montrese packing. None of the queens know, however, that Ru told Coco she has a chance to get “revenge” in some way.

Meanwhile, Tatianna confesses she feels a lot of pressure with this season’s new format. The winning contestant decides who goes home, so Tati has to impress Ru AND her competitors now. The queens also recognize with each other that the judges were especially nitpicky and leaned IN on anything slightly off, including Adore’s outfit, to which Adore nodded silently on the verge of tears.

Prep That Snatch!

Phi Phi may have taken communicating with the spirits too far.

The next day Ru greeted the queens with good news: already, they would get to compete in this season’s Snatch Game! This is the most beloved challenge in the Drag Race franchise, so it’s a special treat to get to witness it so soon in the competition.

But this celebrity impersonation “game show” is something especially important for All-Stars, says Ru. “You get to reinvent yourselves all over again.” And as Katya points out, it’s a good thing for Detox, Alyssa Edwards, and Phi Phi O’Hara, who each bombed their Snatch Game performances the first time.

Tatianna was quick to brag about her history with the celebrity impersonation game show. “I won the first ever Snatch Game. My Britney Spears got me far.” When Phi Phi asked her if that adds extra pressure this time around, Tati confessed, “A little bit. But I’m not trying to get into that mindset.”

Adore WTF Frown Emoji Poop Emoji

That moment when you wanted Michelle to yell “Snap out of it!”

While the other girls spent time in the workroom joking with each other and preparing their celebrity looks, Adore cried in a white t-shirt and said she’s feeling rattled after last week’s harsh critiques.

As Ru entered the workroom to make her usual rounds, she mentioned that Adore’s Anna Nicole Smith impersonation in Season 6 was iconic—and it was! That was the moment that won Adore so many fans on social media and launched her to the Top 3 that year.

When Ru asked why Adore’s eyes were all red, Adore said she didn’t expect it to be “like this” and she’s thinking of going home. About her riot girl drag aesthetic, she says, “It’s such a sensitive subject for me to work with hundreds of queens that don’t get it, and to come back here and feel like Michelle Visage doesn’t take me seriously…”

Ru, as controversial as she can be sometimes, is often exceptionally wise. “Is that enough to tap out for? I feel like you’re being sabotaged by your inner saboteur. Confidence means you’ll weather the storm, no matter what. What do you think that says to your young fans? You know you are loved here and I want you to stay. I feel like you will live to regret this.”

Adore told RuPaul she sees her as family and respects her opinion, but is really struggling with being on the set again. So Ru told Adore she wanted her to talk to Michelle before making any rash decisions. Meanwhile, Katya couldn’t believe Adore would voluntarily leave, and Alaska expressed disappointment and hoped Adore would change her mind.

It seems Michelle is on call for emergencies such as these, because she got to the studio moments later and greeted Adore outside like my Italian aunties you wish you had. Adore confided that she felt Michelle’s critiques were harsh and personal, but Michelle was quick to state it “absolutely wasn’t” personal. “I want to see you in 20 years like RuPaul,” she tells Adore. “I’m pushing you to do something you wouldn’t do normally. While we argue to celebrate all that makes you different, it’s still a competition.” Adore expressed that she takes Michelle’s criticism to heart because her opinion matters, and Michelle quickly apologized and said she didn’t intend for her critiques to be as harsh as they were. She left Adore by urging her to stay in the competition and avoid a choice she might regret.

But in the end, the queen notorious for her tagline “Party!” will now be known as the biggest party pooper Drag Race has ever seen, because no one has ever asked to leave the show, let alone an All-Star. Now suddenly it’s clear why Adore was not in attendance at this year’s Video Music Awards when all the other queens attended as iconic celebrities. “It’s disappointing,” says Alyssa. “This is a huge opportunity we’ve been given and so many people wish they could have been here.” But Detox’s head is in the game. “I’m just that much closer to the crown,” she says.

Everybody’s Favorite Game Show

When I’m good I’m good, and when I’m bad I’m still better than all these queens.

Back in the workroom, Ru announces that Season 2 fan favorites Raven and JujuBee will be the celebrity judges for the Snatch Game!

While the queens prepare, Phi Phi is ready to test her competitors’ confidence. She tells Alyssa, “I think your Joan Crawford is too you.” She then tells Roxxxy, “That Spanish accent needs to be thicker.” So Roxxxy second guesses herself and decides to change-up her entire character plan. No longer Sofia Vergara, she intends to portray none other than… Alaska herself.

*Facepalm.* Girl, when you change your mind on a look, you don’t say, “I know! I’ll go as another Drag Race contestant!” Just ask Max.

But the show went on! And while there were a couple flops, there was some comic gold as well. Alyssa’s Joan Crawford was hilarious, and as Ru fed her all the quintessential lines from Mommie Dearest, Alyssa caught on and lobbed them right back with perfect timing.

Katya’s batshit Bjork was hilariously random, including her decision to eat an index card and tell Ru that his suit looks like the lining of her small intestine.

Phi Phi’s Theresa Caputo’s entire shtick was predictably set on clairvoyant communion with spirits, but it was certainly a step up from Jaidynn Diore Fierce’s premonition-heavy impersonation of Raven Symoné. Unfortunately for Tatianna, the first ever Snatch Game winner, her Ariana Grande fell flat with her repartee, and Roxxxy’s Alaska was boring as hell.

But the real Alaska’s Mae West was the clear winner and best performance this season, with great lines like, “I’m good, I’m good. But when I’m bad, I get a serious venereal disease,” “I’m black by injection,” and “Oh I ‘beat around the bush’ all the time.”

Wear Your Rubber

Did Phi Phi forget to bring along the rest of her outfit?

In the workroom, Phi Phi asked if people will still vote for the weakest link? Katya joked that she’ll send the top competitor home. “I like to think that I’d be the Khaleesi,” says Katya. “But I can go to the Lannister side too…” And that’s why she’s my favorite.

Tatianna said it was good to see her Season 2 sisters Raven and Juju again, and expressed her hunger for redemption. “I need to be here. I need to show everyone total All-Star material.”

And they’re off! Ru enters the runway in a gorgeous pink gown and greets the judges. We’ve got the usual Michelle Visage (claws retracted tonight, girl), Carson Kressley, Todrick Hall, and former regular Ross Mathews back on the panel.

Detox: in arguably the best look of the night, a loose red latex jumper with a plunging neckline below a cinching metal belt, accessorized with full-upper-face black makeup and a red fascinator.

The Feedback

What did we say about crying on Drag Race?

Without pussyfooting around, Ru got in front of the whole Adore departure. “I want to remind you why we’re all here,” she told the girls as they lined up on the stage. “I invited you to All-Stars because I believe you’re the best of the best. With this invitation comes great responsibility. I’ve fought my entire life to not only build my career, but to help others. There are no free passes. This is still a competition. And now I need to hear from you, ladies, are you in it to win it?” They all replied with a resounding Yes.

Based on their runway outfits and Snatch Game performances, Alyssa and Ginger were deemed safe.

Phi Phi’s look got harsh criticism from Michelle—as it should—but Ross praised Phi Phi’s consistency while portraying Theresa Caputo. But Ross wasn’t so generous to Roxxxy when he called her impression of Alaska “bumpy”—which was putting it kindly. However, when they asked why she changed her mind from Sofia Vergara, Roxxxy didn’t say it was Phi Phi who convinced her otherwise; she said, “Something told me I would have bombed Sofia worse than I did Alaska.”

Carson called Katya’s elegant swimmer look genius. “I loved the Snatch Game. When I think of Bjork I think of an Icelandic toddler on LSD.” And Katya lived up to that vision. But Tatianna’s Ariana didn’t go over well. Michelle called her impression basic, and Carson pointed out that she didn’t nail her comebacks in character. Tati then started crying onstage and apologized. “Don’t be sorry,” said Ru. “Be fierce. Because you are an All-Star.”

In the end, the bottom 3 were announced rationally and with justice: Roxxxy, Tatianna, and Phi Ph—OH, I FORGOT, FOR SOME REASON SLICK RUBBER GODDESS DETOX WAS SENT TO THE BOTTOM THIS WEEK WHILE PHI PHI “I’M WEARING A CHEAP UNITARD WITH DUCKS” O’HARA GOT OFF SCOT-FREE.

But the top 2 this week absolutely earned it. Katya and Alaska were informed they would lip sync for their legacy! Ru dismissed them to deliberate who they would send home should they win while she and the judges drank root beer floats.

Backstage, Alaska met with each of the bottom 3 queens, telling them that while 2 of the 3 original RoLaskaTox members are in danger, she refuses to play favorites. (Uh-huh.) Meanwhile, Katya is “intrigued, attracted, and seduced” by this position of power. She says to Roxxxy, “We’re all here, we’re all professional drag queens, and we can all deduce what’s entertaining and what’s not.” With much gravitas and intense production music, Alaska and Katya both take lipstick tubes engraved with the name of the queen they wish to send home, and head off to the stage.

Freak Out

Le Freak, c’est Chic.

The song? “Le Freak” by Chic. The mood? Whimsical. The performances? Hilarious. This song was written for Katya to demonstrate her limber body and charismatic performance ability, but we all knew Alaska sealed the deal when she shed her dress to reveal her black underwear beneath.

And thus, Alaska was named the winner of this week’s competition, winning ten thousand dollars!

So who did Alaska send home? “Like you said many times, RuPaul’s drag race is a microcosm of the real world,” she announced to the judges. “And in the real world, sometimes you have to make really hard decisions. Tonight is one of those times. The queen that I have chosen is Tatianna.”

So in a “super shocking” “total upset” move, Alaska sent home the one queen who was not her best friend. Unfortunately Tatianna was beginning to shine this season, but as Tati left the stage, Ru’s video message played for her, informing her she would have a chance at revenge.

Does this mean Tati, Coco, and all other eliminated queens will be the ones to decide which of the final 3 queens wins the crown? Or will one queen get to return for a second chance at victory? Catch next week’s episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race All-Stars, and come back to Jetspace for Ru-minations afterward!

About The Author

Ryan Crawford is an online content marketer, social media manager, and whisky fan. As a Northwest native, he’s a devoted activist and an environmentally-conscious sexpot. You can find more of his writing at Seattle Gay Scene, Gay City Anthologies 3-5, Arcana: the Tarot Poetry Anthology, and in several corporate publications..