Sharing bits and pieces of an ordinary woman, living an ordinary life.

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Wondering Wednesday: Living with Lupus

Twelve years ago, I sat on my bed in my flat in Sweden as the doctor broke the news to me over the phone that I had lupus. I was relieved and scared at the news. After months of illness with weird symptoms, I finally had answers and there were treatments that I could try. There is still so much we don't know about lupus and my future felt so uncertain. We ended that conversation that day with many unanswered questions.

Today I saw my rheumatologist where we had an extremely optimistic and upbeat conversation. My blood levels look great. I still test positive for the ANA test but I am pretty much normal in almost every other respect. It feels really good to be in that place. I'm rejoicing in my good health for today and hopeful for my future.

Over the years I have grappled with questions about resiliency, strength, and transcending tragedy. I have found so many examples close to home that have inspired me to seek for those gifts of character.

My great-grandmother Hattie was a resilient woman who transcended personal tragedies. When I learned of her story, I felt that I had to honor the heritage she gave me by facing up to the health challenges I faced. Hattie's story is one of great challenges met with tremendous courage and grace. I cannot shirk my challenges, because I know that I have strength and courage from her.

My mother taught me how to push forward without complaint. She has faced many health challenges throughout her life, but despite that, she is the hardest working person I know. She is cheerful and patient with others, something that I am still working to master.

When I am having a tough day either mentally or emotionally, I remember the things my mother and great-grandmother have taught me. I have their strength, courage, and tenacity in my genes.