Now sit back and watch the police state swing into action. They'll probably use this as an excuse to mandate neck-mounted tracking devices on all cows. You won't be allowed to take them off, ever. Not even in your home pasture.

Got outa the truck and smelled the Man
And knew that she hadda get a Plan
Kicked that gate and sprinted Free
Took off running, got away Clean
Cowhide

Now she had to run and she had to find Grub
And the grass wasn't greener here, it was all Scrub
She stomped and she hollered
And then she dug
Cowhide

She was starving, and couldn't find drink,
And out of the blue, there was a man-thing
It was down on the ground working on its wheels
And she knew that it thought she was meals
Cowhide

She stomped and she hollered and she shivered her head
And the man-thing finally pulled the plugs from its head
And it reared and it shouted and it flailed and it pouted
And the Cow knew its fate was doomed if she doubted
Cowhide

She ran and she stomped and she did her cow-dance
And the puny little man he did die like an ant
The cow smiled and it throated and then it saw grass
And it sauntered off cleanly to fill its cud twice
Cowhide

But the cow didn't realize that the Man had some Friends
The wife called the cops called the SWAT called the Man
The Man came a running, in his APC so grand
And the cow looked up and its last thought was "Blam?"
Cow died

Now sit back and watch the police state swing into action. They'll probably use this as an excuse to mandate neck-mounted tracking devices on all cows. You won't be allowed to take them off, ever. Not even in your home pasture.

I had a tag. The man date said my tag means he knows where I go. But the man does not know where I go. So I think the man told a lie. My tag looks like mud.

Having both a brand and an ear tag sounds like ID overkill. The newer RFID ear tags can let some gates record when you go through them, so they can tell where you are some of the time even if there's mud on it.

Cattle kill about 20 Americans a year, which makes them many times less deadly than lawnmowers.

Terrorism killed 15 Americans in 2011 and 17 in 2012. If cows kill about 20 per year, I think that we need to change TSA's mission to screening airline passengers to make sure that none of them are secretly bovines. It would be far cheaper and less invasive than what they are doing now and about as effective.

I don't know who actually writes Via Angus (I'm guessing Clark or Ken), but… Bravo. You could play in my D&D group any day. Probably the most unsettling metaphor I've ever read, more so than Brave New World or 1984. More on topic, Yuma cow was a hero. I shall pour out a 40 for her. (That's what the hip kids do, right?)