Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Previously on Project Runway: Everyone had to make dresses from “green” fabrics, which their models did the shopping for. Of course, all the fabrics sucked and people complained about it, but in the end, most of them came up with OK stuff. Suede won, somehow, with some weird strips on the bodice that I dare Bluefly to mass produce without costing an arm and a leg. Wesley lost, for taking brown satin and making it wrinkly and overworked. All I ask for is some competent eye candy. (click for more)

Daniel is sad Wesley’s gone, because he thought they were connecting. Don’t feel too bad, though, because he and Wesley are dating now. Kelli is glad to get going, but Stella says she can get ready in 10 minutes so she‘s trying to sleep in. Blayne wears his backpack on his stomach and pretends to be pregnant. I hope one of the girls smacks him for being an offensive tool. The recapper at Twop says she wishes Jeffrey was around to smack Suede, which I totally agree with and add that he can smack Blayne too. Santino will also do if Jeffrey is busy. Heidi makes Suede choose models, instead of everyone. Stick to one thing! I don’t care how you do the model choosing, if everyone chooses or just the winner, but just pick one method and do that all the time. Suede keeps his model but insists on the third person thing. Heidi says Tim is taking them out for a night on the town, because they’ve worked so hard. Anyone who watches reality TV, the alarm bells should be going off. Come on. However, these people all look excited.Jerell says maybe they’ll go to dinner. Stella wants to go to Tim’s house. Tim finally appears, in a trench coat, and he says it’s raining. Everyone then gets cheap ass plastic ponchos and rain boots. Hee.

Tim leads them to a “CitySights NY” double decker bus. Suede is confused, of course. Like he’d be the one to figure it out. And it’s like 10:30 at night. Tim says they have to create a look inspired by New York at night. OH I called that last week. There will be 4 stops, and at each one they’ll let a group off with cameras and they’ll have an hour to take pictures. Did the producers really think that by making this “at night” that we would think it was a new challenge?Suede, Daniel, Leanne and Jennifer get off at the first stop at Columbus Circle. Stella, Kenley, Blayne, and Keith are at Times Square. Blayne asks about tanning salons. Korto, Kelli, and Joe get off at the New York Public Library. Terri, Emily, and Jerell get off at Greenwich Village. Daniel has pictures of a shadow? Stella can’t work her camera, and Blayne tells her to “open up the thing, baby”. Kelli has some black and silver fire hydrant which she says is a Mad Max thing. Terri’s got graffiti, which she takes a blurry picture of. Seriously, they are even taking the SAME PICTURES of things to be inspired by. Jerell and Emily find the porn shop. Heh. Keith then says he’s a Mormon. A gay Mormon in Salt Lake City. Harsh. Someone complains about him being competitive, because he’s walking in front of people taking pictures. But it’s Stella, which I’m sure she would complain about anything. It’s annoying, but…it’s a photo. It takes 10 seconds. Keith ruins it by saying he doesn’t care about the “negative energy” because he’s not here to make friends.

Back at Atlas everyone finally gets to bed at like, 1:15am. But first Jerell has to put on his facial mask. Not surprising. Blayne thinks he’s teasing Jerell, except that he just asked about a tanning salon, so.

Back at Parson’s in the morning, Tim says he’s still wet from last night. Stop it right now. They have to pick one photo, and then they’ll get $100 to shop. 30 minutes to pick a photo and sketch. Kenley has a picture of a map. It’s kin of abstract and stuff. Blayne has some colors, or something? I’m not sure what it is. Keith has a wet magazine. No, really. He likes volume. And he’s talking about how he wants to be in the top 3, so he’s in trouble.

Tim brings them to Mood for the first time. Kenley always brings the 40s and 50s. Stella hollers for help. Not really, she just pouts “Someone needs to help me!” in a conversational tone, until no one responds. Then she hollers “Who’s helping me?!” Shush. Terri finds exactly what she wants.

Tim gives them until 1am, and the winner gets immunity again. Last week they got to sell on Bluefly so that was the prize. Suede says some nonsense and every time he says “Suede” I want to kick his ass. After saying she likes her retro look Kenley describes her dress as fresh and new. Joe thinks the print is really old. Leanne gets really nervous, to the point Terri has to comfort her. She’s got a circular planter as inspiration. She’s still putting loops everywhere. Blayne is looking around all bug-eyed staring at people threatening to eat them. He’s a freak. Keith has…rags. It’s all like, hand-sized pieces of fabrics sewn everywhere. Stella thinks it dumb, which is not surprising because it‘s not made of leather. Keith talks some more about how awesome he is, sealing his fate. Terri loves her dress graffiti thing. Emily is trying to figure out how much is too much. Right now it’s a black one shoulder dress with a colored ruffle in orange and peach falling over the shoulder and down the front. Kenley says it’s not well done and cliché. These people sure trash talk a lot. Stella picked out the blinders on a horse, naturally, because they’re leather. This involves grommets. She says she’ll die being rock and roll. I don’t think anyone would argue with you on that. No one got her a bedazzler, so she’s putting in grommets the old school way: you put the two halves of the grommet/stud on either side of the leather, then you place it on the table and hammer it until they stick together. As you can imagine, everyone hates her quickly. She says to no one in particular that if they don’t like it they can “get the f**k out of there”. OK, 1. no, they can’t, and 2. at least acknowledge that you’re annoying.

Tim time! Tim’s concerned about Jennifer. Her hem is messed up and she doesn’t have sleeves yet. Daniel thinks it sucks. I am thinking that for anyone’s dress, someone in the workroom is willing to say something about it, in the hopes that it’s funny and they can be “hilarious bitchy sound bite person”. (Kmanpat: “Sorry kids, that title is held by Jay, and Robert as a close second.“) Keith explains his rag dress. Tim has nothing to say. Interesting. Kenley’s dress is exposed (?), and she’s got some gorgeous pink/purple chiffon. With a turquoise Hawaiian shirt print. Costumey. Terri’s print matches her graffiti, and it doesn’t look bad. She’s got a dress and pants, and the dress is backless. Tim makes sure it’s a good “oh my gosh!” when the model turns around and you see the backless part. Leanne’s skirt is looking tiered and actually really good. He warns her not to overwork it. Emily’s dress now has ruffles along the front, not draped over the shoulder. They are more…ruffley, if that makes sense. Her picture is a long exposure with lines of light. Tim is disappointed because it’s a black dress with a giant corsage. She’s happy with it. Sigh. Tim says goodbye to everyone and Blayne’s all, OK, holla atcha boy. Tim has to ask for an explanation, and then he tries to say “Hello? Holler? Challah?“ OK, as much as I hate Blayne, Tim Gunn saying “Holler at your boy? Is that the phrase?” is hilarious.

Frantic working. No one seems to be confident or done. We cut quickly to the next morning when people are worried and Stella is wearing her hot pants and striped leggings again. More frantic working. There is a lot of work, and it seems to be more than usual. Like, people are still draping and tops are not attached to bottoms, as opposed to just fixing hems. Tim appears and says that Keith’s model had to drop out of the competition, so he gets the eliminated model. Fun. 1 hour for fitting, hair, and makeup. Leanne doesn’t seem to have a top. Jennifer (who? exactly) is still sewing. Tim says they have 10 minutes and he’s serious. He has to ask if anyone is listening to him because no one responds. Does he always do that? The 10 minute warning, I mean, because if that’s a new thing, that’s a good sign of how little these people plan. A lot of freaking out. LOT. These designers don’t time manage well at ALL.

This week’s poll: Should “Holla at cha boy” be Tim Gunn’s new catch phrase? First of all, it’s “atcha” not “at cha” and second, no. (Kmanpat: “And third, hell no.”)

Sandra Bernhard is the guest judge. Interesting. Keith: his dress did turn out OK, but it’s odd. It makes you want to know how to make it, but it also looks raggedy. Blayne: black dress with giant rainbow ruffles. Every color of the rainbow, down the front of the dress, which is long sleeved and high necked. Sigh. Joe: fitted gold bodice with black lines, and a black skirt. It’s inspired by a light fixture. In the back of the skirt there is some tulle. It‘s not really exciting but it‘s also very wearable. Emily: black dress with colored ruffle. Only a couple warm colors and across the bust and down the front, ending before the hem. The dress is still one shouldered, but the ruffles are straight across. Leanne: plain cowl neck black top but the skirt is spot on. It’s in tiers that meet in the middle but only one side has gray so it stands out. Jennifer: blah. It doesn’t look like a clock, except for the white sleeves with black lines. The rest of the dress is blue with a high waist and elbow length sleeves and is super boring. Jerell: green with ruffles and it’s awesome. It’s strapless, with a dark olive green, and lighter green ruffles across the bustline (flat ones though) and then layers of the light green down the asymmetric skirt all the way into a train. I don’t see the inspiration (a fountain) but I want it. Kelli: I don’t know. The top looks like it‘s macramé, in black. Then there‘s a high belt and a tight black skirt. The model has a Mohawk. There’s no silver in it at all, and it was a silver and black fire hydrant, so I don’t get it at all. Daniel: a black strapless dress, basic, with a swath of gold fabric over one shoulder going across her body. Most of the skirt is gold, so maybe there’s not a full black dress there. Does it look like light and shadow? Eh. Kenley: fitted turquoise and purple print with a mock turtleneck and puffy shoulders and fitted elbow length sleeves. Then on the skirt on one side of the dress is the chiffon. She has a tumor. Seriously, that side of her skirt is fuller than the other and it is a bump. The rest of the skirt tries for volume but fails. Suede: high collared shirt dress, in putty. Somehow it relates to a gold and blue streak of light. Stella: shiny metallic halter top and pleather pants with the grommets. Bartender in a biker dive bar. Korto: black jumpsuit which doesn’t look like the thing she took a picture of, which I can‘t identify. Terri: blue dress and pants. The print on the dress is blue and green, and it’s got a high neck and long sleeves, but is backless. It‘s certainly interesting.

Keith, Kenley, Emily, Terri, Jennifer, and Leanne are called forward for more questioning. Wait, that means Blayne and his giant rainbow ruffle escaped, while Emily’s ruffle didn’t. According to Tim, he says that Blayne‘s ruffles were part of the dress, whereas Emily‘s ruffle was just sewn on top. Also they‘re placed differently. Kenley talks about her painted wall and whatnot. Sandra says that you have to be tall and thin to wear it, but Kors thinks you could be lopsided. It’s very 80’s but also updated. Strangely, Kors says that it is pretty 80’s, but if you are too young to remember the 80’s it’s pretty cool. They actually really like it. Huh. Keith wanted to have hidden beauty, but it’s shapeless and Kors thinks it looks like “toilet paper blowing in the wind” because of all the white fabric. Everyone nods, and Nina especially hates the uneven hem, which I think wouldn’t have worked if it was even. Terri says her girl is confident and “fierce, sexy, and in control“ (that part from Sandra). Sandra says she seems like if she was alone in an alley she’d threaten attackers with a knife. Everyone wants to know her. Emily explains her streaks of light. Sandra wishes it was flatter, without the ruffles. Nina compares it to Carmen Miranda, and Kors says the ruffles are hitting her wrong. Leanne says she noticed things she might not because it was raining, like the tree planter. Heidi says it looks like she bought it at a store and she’d wear it. Jennifer talks about the clocks, and Holly Golightly meets Salvador Dali, but Kors sees no surrealism and her hem is jacked up. Everyone is bored. Including Nina, and you know you don’t want to bore Nina.

Good: Terri (great vibe and attitude, you want to know her model), Kenley (surprising and different from what she’s done before, everything came together), Leanne (very wearable, and not over designed at all). Bad: Emily (Kors says the ruffles were insane, Nina has no comment and everyone clutches their pearls), Keith (too much white, too much like toilet paper), Jennifer (no surrealism, no one cares about what else she can do, poor execution).

Terri is in. Kenley wins. She’s never won anything major in her life. Leanne is in. Keith is in, so much for foreshadowing. Emily made a cliché, and Jennifer’s style that she keeps telling us about doesn’t match what she showed them. Jennifer is in. Emily says her dress was beautiful and finished and showed her personality and shouldn’t have lost. I guess design counts for more than execution.

Nest week: another field trip, Keith steals fabric or something, Blayne doesn’t know who Sgt. Pepper is and Tim is disgusted (holy crap, I'm disgusted), Joe says there’s too much drama because there are too many queens. Probably.

1 comment:

.Sandra judging models, what a joke. Sandra Bernhard's biggest attraction was always just an ugly woman trying to be funny. These Leftist women are really losing their minds. Rosanne wondered on Bill Maher's show whether McCain would take away women's right to vote. Even Maher's audience thought that was a nutso thing to think..absurd thought -God of the Universe saysnever elect a woman

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I'm that annoying friend that always wants to talk all through the TV show, and you don't always get that mad because sometimes she's funnier than the actual show. Except that I won't drown out the dialogue.