Words From the Saddle

Thursday, October 8, 2009

This cane to mind this morning" Drama" its all around us. Not like in the movies or anything like that. I am talking about drama in our lives. This "Drama is also known as "Gossip" or"Hear Say". The funny thing is, it's very rarely right. No matter what you say its gonna get turned around and blown way out of proportion, before it gets back to you. we all know about this and it has happened to all of us.

You know when you tell someone that you are going to do something. They tell someone, then that person tells someone, they tell someone else and so on it goes. then finally when it gets back to you its no where near what you said in the first place.

Drama in the most cases can be someones actions not wanting to give a little bit for the best of a situation. That can create drama in it. A lot of people see things a certain way, never sway from what they see, no matter if they are wrong or right. In their own little minds its "my way or the high way" and that causes so much drama in life. Not everyone sees things the same way. We all have different opinions and see things differently. Everyone does things different, but if it gets done, then who are we to say its not right. As long as in the end we have the same result.

I know quite a few people that will not "let a sleeping dog lie". What I mean by this is no matter what the situation is they keep bring it up just to bother someone. If you keep picking a scab it will will never heal and over time it gets sore and can get infected and be worse than when it happened. That's the way rumors and gossip starts and gets going and at the end they are worse then they were when they got started. Drama is like an open wound it keeps flowing and flowing until it gets so bad that feelings get hurt and no there is no way to heal the problem. In the end it is a hell of a lot worse than when it started. It may be 3 hours old or many many years ago but if it keeps being brought up the wound is still fresh in your mind and the person that you keep bringing it up too. So drop it and get along with your own life and let the sleepy dog go to sleep and lay there. But if you are that petty that you have to make other peoples lives miserable then go and see a psychiatrist and get checked into a hospital somewhere and get some help.These people keep bring up and creating "Drama" in their lives and it spreads to everyone around them and it become a disaster for everyone involved.Something comes up just now...... If you cant say anything nice then don't say anything at all.... That means if you want to say something that's not nice then shut up and keep your opinions to your self , because you are not helping the problem all you are doing is making it worse. Get the picture......Shut up...... Now we all know people like this and they never help the problem because they are the problem. They cant see they are the problem because in their mind they are always right or they are trying to make everyone think they are right.Has every one heard of the "golden rule"........ Do unto to others as you would have them do unto you....... well these type of people the " golden rule is .......Do unto others BEFORE they do unto you.....

A lot of times people create drama in someone else's life to try to make them second guess the choices that they have made . They also do it to make the person feel bad about them selves , when this happens the person that is causing the drama feels jealous and wants the other person to feel as bad as they do. Another way they can cause drama is always criticizing someone and making them feel like they have no control over their own life and trying to make them feel like they can not make it with out them.

It could be something minor or something major, but most of the time it gets blown up so big that it is ridiculous. and by the time it gets back to the person who said or did it, it is no where near the same thing that it was in the beginning. These type of people are jealous and selfish that someone has or is doing something that they want to do that they are going to try to make that person not want to do it. They only see the negative side of everything and can not be happy that someone is doing good for them selves. these people can be anyone we know ..... they could be a family member, a friend, or someone you work with.

Just be careful of what you say or do around these people. Do not let them influence you in any way because they will try. Be careful of the Drama kings and Drama queens in your life and don't tell them every detail of your life. Just keep them on a short leash and dont let them run to far with anything that you let them know about.........

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

I started this on 8/11/09 and finished it today enjoy!Is a player always a player? That is a question we need to ask ourselves. Its not that we are being played its that we allow ourselves to be played, we believe that what the person is saying is true. We all have been played in 1 way or another at least once in our lives. After we are played we get angry, depressed, or both.

Take this for example my friend Valerie. She was dating this guy a couple years ago and she was madly in love with him and he knew it. he would do everything to pull her in closer to him. the closer she got the more his true self showed. I know both of them and I warned her about him. She kept telling me you don't know the real him. I did know the real him and all about him. When he was out at the bar the only thing was to find some random woman, get in her pants, and get so drunk that he would get some woman take him home and then try it there. He would use people for anything he wanted,and when he got it he would cast them away. So not long after that he got what he wanted he moved on to the next victim. He wasn't man enough to tell her it was over he just stopped calling her and taking her calls. Except about once a month or too when he wanted to have sex. Then he would call her and like an idiot she would answer and accommodate him. after that she would come back crying to me. Wondering why he was treating her bad again.

She has whined about this for over a year now and guess what she is back in the same boat again. She started dating him again, and it all started all over and she fell into the rut just like the last time. A couple of months ago he went to the lake with some friends and came back his true blue self. The player he was before. This time when they were together they went to buy something he wanted but could not get financed for. So she gladly did it. Now that he has what he wanted he cast her away again. This time he has his pets call and threaten her to stay away from him. The pets I am talking about are the girls that he sleeps with and is playing them.

I have told here over and over about him and let her cry on my shoulder about him that I am at the end of my rope about it. I am tired of hearing it she needs to cut all ties to him and move on. She also needs to stop hanging out at the same places he does. Every time she runs back to him and gets her heart shattered she crawls into a hole and watches life go by and that's no way to live.

So is a player always a player....... I don't think so because people change, of they really want too. Most of the time a player will remain a player as long as he or she finds the game fun and gets what they want. We can all be a player in the game if we allow our selves too. The game is not hard to play. All you got to do is to convince people that you are greater than they think you really are. So you have to become a fantastic liar, so good that you even believe it. You need to get an arrogance about you that some people can not stand and that will bring other people too you. That will be the people that you can play and get them to believe that you are the greatest thing since sliced bread. You start telling these people that you are playing; everything that they want to hear and build yourself bigger than life. After they start believing what you are telling to be the truth, then you have them hooked. Once you have them hooked its just like fishing, you start reeling them in, closer ,closer, and closer. Until you can get your hands on them. Now you have your hands on them you can really start to work on them........

You have them you are really in the game now, you still keep up telling them everything they want to hear. Now you have a new way to convince them that you are for real. You have to be very careful though and not get to involved that it will blow your cover. Now you can show them you false side that you have built up to them and made them think that you are the real thing. You have them right where you want them so kick the game into high gear because it the final quarter of the game. So you really need to work hard to keep their attention on you. Now that you got what you wanted cut your ties with this person and move on to your next victim.....

Sometimes people play others they think they can get a little bit more from them. Like in the case above. I know the male thinking and I know it is true when I say this. When a man sleeps with a woman 1 time its etched in his brain that he can get her again. Most of the time it is true, they can get her in bed again. The way they do this is to keep in contact with her every so often. They may the day after call, text, or E-mail her. Which makes her think well he is thinking of me....WRONG..... He is thinking I got her once I will get her again.... Alot of women will reply right back to the player. He says to himself "yes alright I got her ". then if she does not answer back the player will do something else later in the week or in the next 2 weeks to keep fresh in her mind. It can be a text or E-mail, anything to get her attention back aiming for them. The best thing to do at this point is if you found out that this person is a player. Is to stop all contact with them and see how serious they are about you. If you answer right back , its like throwing gasoline on a fire. Its bright, its hot, it get your blood flowing, but 2 things can happen 1) the flames burn out quickly 2) you get burned very bad. so think about that. Because once you get played you are down, and that opens you up to more players to come along and do it again.

So be aware of the game that is being played and see who is playing the game. Is it you or is it the other person. Are you doing all the work for something and the other is just talking..... Then you are being played my friend and you are not the player. You are just a small piece of the puzzle.

I leave this with you to think about and I will be back with more on players at another time.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

I was sitting the other night watching a movie and one of the characters asked another one what he was searching for. He turned and looked at him and said" I don't know what I am searching for, but I am searching for something I have too find". Are you searching through life for something, you really have no idea what you are searching for?

Have ever lost something and keep searching for it to find it at the same place you looked first. This is a little along these lines, but not exactly. This is about the search that we have in our lives.A lot of times in our lives we feel lost, have lost something, or feel we are missing something.We do not have any idea what it is but something is not right. Being on the search can be a scary thing especially when we don't know what we are searching for. You can't put your finger on it but you feel you have to search this thing out. We may not be missing anything but we search any way.

When we search we gain knowledge, experience new things, and learn about people and places that we thought knew or we think we know. In these searches there are a lot of ups and a lot of downs, along the way. We try new things and sometimes meet new people. Sometimes we like these new things and make them apart of our lives. When they are not what we want or need in our lives we need to dismiss these things and chalk it up to a learning experience.

Sometimes during our search our emotions can get all caught up in them and we get confused about them. Sometimes feelings get lost in the search and then we get lost inside ourselves and don't know why this happened.

When we start searching for whatever we feel is right. We think that it is worth searching for. Then once we get on the search we realize that what we think we are searching for is not worth the search and not what they really are. Sometimes they are exactly what you wanted and need in your life.

Sometimes we search for something that we already have and don't realize that we have it. A saying comes to mind about this. "You don't know what you got till it's gone" is from 80's rock band "Cinderella". That saying is so true, because sometimes we do something and after we do it we look back and say it was better before you thought you started searching. That is something you have to figure out for your self.We search and search and search for something in our lives that we think we are missing. All along they where right there in front of us, right under our noses. They were hidden in plain site, you were just blinded by everything that goes on in life. Trust me I have done this myself.

We feel we need to search for something better even though it may be worse than what we already have.

Sometimes we search for something and find out that is was exactly what we thought it would be. The search was the best thing to do in that case.

When we decide to go on our search and leave the security of things just be honest with yourself. Don't get high hopes that is going to be better. Because what ever the out come of your search it was your choice to make. When you feel that you have to search for something then go for it.

We search for things out there that may be a physical need or want. Sometimes its an emotional or spiritual search. It could be something we are missing in our personal life. We don't know what it is but it is missing, that closeness in a relationship. From a parent, spouse, and/or children but something is missing. If its a physical void that we have we must think about it and see if we can be happier with it. Sometimes we will be happier with it and sometimes it may complicate our lives more. We need to weigh all the options before we choose to start searching. A lot of times we start searching for something because we have not had closier in a certain situation and we have a need for that closier in it before we can move forward in our lives. It eats and eats at us until do something about it. Sometimes it may be just a suggestion that we make. That may fix it. Sometimes it takes a drastic measure to do this. Something drastic could change your whole life in a way you never expected, in a good way or in a bad way. Just be careful in your choices and if you decide to start on your search. Think about 1 thing what you are missing may not be at the end of your search. It maybe the search you are missing. The search you may be on may not be out there It could be inside you so search inside your self and you may find what you are looking for .

Thank you !!!Have a wonderful journey while you search and I hope you find what you are looking for......

The other night I went and got a movie that a special friend had encouraged me to watch. We had made plans to watch it together, but certain circumstances rose up that we could not do that. So i took it on myself to watch it. It was amazing and I have watched twice since Monday. The movie is called "Fire Proof" starring Kirk Cameron. Kirk Cameron was a 1980's TV star. The sit com he was on was called "Growing Pains",some of you may remember it.

Fire Proof is about a married couple on their way to a divorce. Kirk plays a fireman and some of the struggles that he is growing through in his life.

1) lack of respect at home ... he feels

2) addictions that he has

3) ego that he has .... in his job

4) lack of communication... he has in his marriage

5) lack of self worth

These are all things some of us feel in our lives from time to time. This gave me an idea and I feel that i needed to share it with you today.

ADDICTIONS:

We all have an addiction of some sort. Something we do that we really have no control over. I have at least 1 of them that I know of and i may have more. While I go through this lets see if I do and maybe you have them too.

The addiction I have and everyone that knows me is Tobacco, I have never smoked in my life and probably would not even know how too. I am a tobacco chewer. I will be one for the rest of my life and it is a hard habit to quit. everyday I am faced with this. I see it every where, friends with a dip in, at the store and gas station, and I feel that I need one to get through a stressful day just to relax.I am managing this pretty well. I am and have quit, but it is a very hard thing to do. people that do not have this don't really understand how hard it is to do.

there are a million thing out there that we get addicted too. I will list a few of them, the major ones that we hear about everyday in our lives. They don't have to be a substance like tobacco, alcohol, or even drugs. we can be addicted to many different things and sometimes more that one at a time.

and an obsession that we think we can't live without...... such as a car , a boat, a house, or even with the perfect relationship.

The Internet can fuel a lot of these addictions such as porn, there are a lot more than porn that we can get addicted too on-line. LOL I am getting addicted to blogging.

we can also get addicted to social net working like , Myspace, Facebook, and the latest Twitter.

Do not get me wrong I do Facebook and Myspace from time to time, it's fun to pass the time and to meet people, get in contact with school friends. You can also be addicted to dating websites too. There are too many to mention. They flood our TV's everyday with advertisements.

Websters dictionary definition

Addictions ·dic·tion
Pronunciation: \ə-ˈdik-shən, a-\
Function: noun
Date: 1599
1 : the quality or state of being addicted/addiction>2 : compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance (as heroin, nicotine, or alcohol) characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal; broadly : persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful

In the movie he was addicted to getting his boat that he put everything in life on hold to get this boat. during this process he had alienated his wife and his duties as a husband. This in turned started to separate him and his wife in an emotional way. He was neglecting his wife in a way that it drove a wedge between them and pushed them apart. This addiction to getting his boat overwhelmed him and it was all he could think about and made him forget what really meant the most to him; his wife and family. When someone is addicted to something they loose focus on what is really important in their lives. Now that this cloud is around their rational thought it opens your mind up to other things that can be addicting. In the movie he was so compelled to get this boat, he shut his wife out, his home life out, his marriage was the last thing on his mind. when this started happening he started feeling a void in his life he was searching for something he was missing, that was Internet porn. He was getting consumed by that and the boat. So now he was addicted to the boat and porn. and it confused him and his mind set and made him think that that stuff was more important than everything else.

An addiction can and will make you question your values of whats important in life. From your relationship to your job. Your family, friends, job,and everything that you know and love will take a back seat to this. you need to sit back and evaluate what your doing and think about whats really important to you. you realy need to admitt to your self that you have a problem, you can lie to everyone else and tell them I am fine and you can belive it for awhile. You can not lie to yourself for very long and keep doing this destructive behavior and loose everything that holds and has value in your life.

In the movie it all works in the end. I highly recomend that you watch this and take into concideration that you may have some addiction(s) and try to correct them if its not to late. With help you can over come this and get your life back on the right path. With gods guiding hand and support you can do this.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Let me start by saying I have been going through a lot in my life over the last couple of weeks. With Gods guiding hand and a whole lot of soul searching I am starting to see the haze in my head starting to leave.

I come to you today to tell y'all about a book I read its is a wonderful book. it opened my eyes to a lot of the feelings and emotions I was and still going through.The book is called "The Root Of Rejection" by Joyce Meyer.In the book she dives into "rejection" and how it has an effect on our lives. In both men and women.

It identifies:How the rejection starts ( the root of rejection)Rejection: causes.... and resultsrejection and your perceptionWalls of protection and why we build themRejection protection patternsRejection and perfectionPerfect... by faith!The fear of manManipulation and control

This book is one the best books I have ever read. If you feeling get hurt easily and you don't know why maybe this book will help you. There are many many different ways that some form of rejection can and will control our lives. Rejection can have a tremendous impact on our lives that we never even thought of.Joyce Meyer is a minister and an every day person that feels rejection in her life and this book will help you deal with a lot of it.If you want my opinion buy the book and read it and study what it says, you will get a great deal on how life will slap you in the face and try to keep you down. She uses The word of God, the bible, true life stories, and experiences from people to help you understand."The Root of Rejection" is only 109 pages so it wont take you very long to read it.I believe it will help you.

I am in the process of reading another book she wrote called"Battle Field Of The mind"I will write about it when I am finished with it.

you can buy this book on-lineor you can possibly find it at your nearest Christian book store.I was lucky I had a friend give me a couple of them and I passed one onto another friend to read.Thank You again !

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Howdy Y’allI am back with another thought in my mind. This is something that came to me earlier today, I thought I would write it out to see where it leads.We all have heard or used the term “letting go”. There are a millions of meanings for this term. Some are hard to do, some are easy to do, and some are a good thing. Letting go is a very scary thing to do, for all of us. The scary part of that is not knowing what is going to happen, when you let go. When you are letting go you have a million things run through your mind.Letting go can be hard, but we have to know what we are letting go of. What are we going to let go of, is it physically letting go of something, like are we hanging off the side of a cliff. If we let go we have no idea what is going to happen, will we live after the fall or will we perish in a cloud of dust. We don’t know and there is the fear of letting go and not knowing the out come.. It is the uncertainty of the whole thing. We can be a parent whose child is leaving for the first time and that scares us to death. We want the best for them and we want to help them in there lives, but they need to be on their own, to make their own choices. They will make mistakes, and learn from them. They will do great things and we will be proud of them. Just remember we have to let go of them and we can’t shelter them.Right now I am letting go of something and I am so scared to let go. I don’t know where this will lead. When letting go of something that means the world to you, it hurts very very bad because we don’t want too. But if we don’t let them go, to spread their wings and fly. It can only be a bad thing down the road for all parties involved. People need their space to grow as a person. So they can grow in life. Our children need it to grow into the person God has planned for them to be. I know how hard this is, trust me I know. When you let them go they will become stronger in life and they will find their own direction and path way through life to get to the place God has for them.We try and try to hold on to them as hard and as tight as we can, that might work for a short time, but in the long run they will grow to resent you. How would you feel if they resent you? ….. That is one scenario of what could happen. If that happens then, the thing you love the most is gone and you have lost them forever. Now can you live with that? I can’t. I would want them in my life because God has brought you together for one reason or another.When you let them go they will know that you love them and you know they have to go. It is very hard because you never know if that person will make it on their own, and/ or if they will ever come back to you. That is just something that you have to do. Just be patient and pray for them, to be safe. Reassure them that you love them and respect their decision. And then let them go. But don’t be angry. Be there when and if they need you. Because we all need some support from friends and our family from time to time. No one is so independent that we can do everything on our own. If we could, we would all be just like Superman. We need to talk to someone when we cant figure out something on our own. It is ok to ask for help, and just let that person know that when ever they need help you will be there for them.Letting go is hard on both parties. Just remember that the person you are letting go of is trying to find things out and growing as a person and that is a good thing. They are having the same feeling that you are. And they are scared of where it will lead them.All we can do sit back and let them go and live their lives, and maybe someday you will be back together stronger than before. Maybe you wont be together but you have a friendship that will grow stronger than it ever was before. Because they know that you sacrificed for them to grow and that you respect their decision. That will mean more to them, than if you tried to stop them or stand in their way.So have a great journey and I will see you on the path way of life.Its not the destination you are heading for it’s the journey that you are taking.So cherish the good times.Have a good evening and thank you for reading.……The cowboy rides off into the sunset ….

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About Me

I am a father of 2 wonderful lil boys ( ok I would rather be called a DAD).
I am married to a beautiful and wonderful lady. I also became step daddy to 2 sweet and beautiful girls.
I am a retired rodeo cowboy, bullrider, bareback bronc rider, rodeo clown/bullfighter.I competed several times for the World Championship.
Now I am trying to raise my boys to the best way I can.