It's that coveted day of the year -- when boys and girls become men and women, chefs become better chefs, and all of the media will immediately start debating who deserved a James Beard nomination and who didn't. Get excited!

Mom is finally selling houses! Problem is she isn’t licensed. No big whoop for her, the test will be a breeze! Except she freaks when she meets Kim, a mega realtor who’s sold 358 houses and is getting recertified. She walks out of the test, assuaging her failure with a Chipwitch. Mmmm…now that’s something I can get behind: Chipwitch and a mostly Mom-centric episode.

Bourdain’s America: 9 Of His Best Quotes About The U.S.A.

Now that Parts Unknown has wrapped, Twitter is the best day-to-day source for Anthony Bourdainisms. He posts frequent updates on his rambling life, like when he’s having “glorious” reflexology in Singapore (“to be followed by soup dumplings”), and hilarious mealtimes, like “Breakfast: coffee, lipitor and my last Congolese painkiller.” We admittedly get wrapped up in the fun of following Tony through Jiu-Jitsu lessons at the hands of his “delicate flower” wife, forgetting that the loudmouthed chef/author/CNN food gypsy not only has over a decade of pen-pushing under his belt, but that he’s something of a social commenter.

1.On the mascot of American obesity: "The worst, most dangerous person to America is clearly Paula Deen. She revels in unholy connections with evil corporations and she's proud of the fact that her food is f---ing bad for you. If I were on at seven at night and loved by millions of people at every age, I would think twice before telling an already obese nation that it's OK to eat food that is killing us. Plus, her food sucks." (TV Guide interview, 2011)

2.On the American Dream: “No one understands and appreciates the American Dream of hard work leading to material rewards better than a non-American.” (Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly, 2000)

3.On American Dads: "Number one mistake made by dads across America, the single most important thing to learn here is: leave the steak the f@#& alone." (No Reservations, 2010)

4.On America's love of mega-chains: “Do we really want to travel in hermetically sealed popemobiles through the rural provinces of France, Mexico and the Far East, eating only in Hard Rock Cafes and McDonalds? Or do we want to eat without fear, tearing into the local stew, the humble taqueria’s mystery meat, the sincerely offered gift of a lightly grilled fish head? I know what I want. I want it all. I want to try everything once.” (Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly, 2000)

5.On the most American of foods: "I believe that, as an American, I should be able to walk into any restaurant in America and order my hamburger – that most American of foods – medium fucking rare. I don’t believe my hamburger should have to come with a warning to cook it well done to kill off any potential contaminants or bacteria. ... I believe I should be able to treat my hamburger like food, not like infectious fucking medical waste. I believe the words “meat” and "treated with ammonia" should never occur in the same paragraph – much less the same sentence." (Medium Raw, 2010)

7.Being the voice of an (American) generation: “I, a product of the New Frontier and Great Society, honestly believed that the world pretty much owed me a living -- all I had to do was wait around in order to live better than my parents.” (Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly, 2000)

8.On politics in food: "The 'slow food' lobby, arguing for sustainable sources of food, organic and free-range products, cruelty-free meat, and a return to a photogenic but never-to-be-realized agrarian wonderland, seem to overlook the fact that the stuff is expensive, and that much of the world goes to bed hungry at night - that most of us can’t hop in the SUV with Sting and drive down to the organic greenmarket to pay twice the going rate." (The Nasty Bits: Collected Varietal Cuts, Usable Trim, Scraps, and Bones, 2006)

9.On American not being the best at something: “They're professionals at this in Russia, so no matter how many Jell-O shots or Jager shooters you might have downed at college mixers, no matter how good a drinker you might think you are, don't forget that the Russians - any Russian - can drink you under the table.” (A Cook's Tour: Global Adventures in Extreme Cuisines, 2001)