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Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Become Unbreakable: My Metamorphosis Part 1

Five years ago I made a decision to drastically change the
course of my life. The finals days of my third year of college found me
confused, depressed, lost, and easily breakable. The opinions of others,
society, family members, and my parents controlled my emotions and set
expectations that I failed time and time again to the point where I felt akin
to a useless piece of nothing. My self-esteem floated in the toilet, my heart sang
dirges for my motivation’s funeral, and passion had yet to find entry into my
mind. I cried to sleep, avoided people and most social events, and rejected
reality and living through the consumption of unhealthy amounts of anime and
manga. While others drank or smoked to deal with their problems, I completed a
season of Bleach or Death Note in one sitting. I was an
emotional wreck who haunted the basement of the school library desperately searching
for direction in General Chemistry textbooks. Thankfully, enlightenment came
after I gawked at an acid-base equilibrium problem for two straight hours.
Right before my eyes the words jumbled and rearranged themselves into a message:
What the f@$% are you doing?

The secrets are in the book.

“Hating existence,” came my swift reply. Pain, misery,
fatigue, zero inspiration, and all things in between pulled at my arms and legs
and I was sick of it. Fed up. Done. No more. I had little to no desire to
become a doctor. This program downloaded to my brain at an impressionable young
age was now defunct and uninstalled. I should’ve gotten the message in high
school when I fainted while shadowing a doctor who showed me an old patient with
a tube stuck in his trachea. The kind, gentle doctor talked and talked. My eyes
stared at the clear plastic stick in the patient’s throat, the room swirled,
lightheadedness followed… PLOP! Down
to the ground I went. I had too much respect for the profession of medicine to
pursue it only for money, prestige, and my parent’s desires. It spat at my
values of integrity and genuine service. I yearned to help humanity, but I would
do so through another path. In the basement of that library, I fortunately knew
what that path was but ignored it because I was afraid of what my parents would
think.

Hey! You go, girl! Good for you for making that painful but necessary decision. Do you realize how many people go down paths they weren't meant to because they were too scared to change? Keep growing and living YOUR life!

"It is nothing to die. It is frightful not to live." - Victor Hugo, Les Misérables

Hello, Reader! :)

Thanks so much for stopping by Do it Well! The mission of this little corner of the internet is to offer a space for dreamers, failures, achievers, and everyone in between. The mantra: whatever you dream to do, do it well. So, please relax, be comfortable, and stay a while. I have snacks. :)