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New here, so upset and hurt by secondary infertility

Hi Ladies,

I am new to this site therefore I hope I am writing in the right section.

My story is, I had my oldest son while in college then was ttc for my youngest son who is almost 5 for nearly 7 years. I then got pregant 2 years after my youngest son but miscarried at 11 weeks. A few months after that I got pregnant with my little girl who passed away at 2 days old. After 6 months of utter pain we decided to try again as we knew it may take some time, that was over 2.5 years ago.

I have been on everything from clomid,fermara,timed intercourse, scans, many iui's. I have had one early miscarriage and a chemical miscarraige which bleeding went on for almost 8 weeks.

I just found out yesterday that my last iui has not worked and the same evening received an email from a friend of mine to say she is pregnant again. She is half way through and this will be her 2nd baby, she started ttc for her 1st months after I was ttc.

I am usually on sites for ttc/iui/pregnancy after loss. But I came across this site today (took the day off work, in bed in tears all day) and it seems I am not the only one on a long road of secondary infertility. I think I have come as far as I can go, I feel broken inside. Every month peeing on sticks only to be heartbroken just can't be good for the soul. I feel depressed and think today I have hit that wall of, no more, can't keep putting on the make up, heading into meetings and smiling all day......

I hope you like it on here, we have very friendly and supportive members that are sure to make your TTC journey that little bit easier, I hope you feel right at home with us all soon.

Here are some links that you may find useful.

There is an abbreviations section HERE so you know what we're all going on about.

There is a secondary infertility/trying again section HERE where you can talk to others in a similar position to yourself.

There is a trying again chatter thread HERE where you can get to know some of the others trying again.

There is an IVF/ICSI section HERE with a FAQ section HERE where you will find a great introduction to IVF/ICSI.

There is a cycle buddies section HERE so you can get to know others having TX at the same time as you.

There is a 2WW section HERE and a 2WW CHAT thread HERE so you can compare every twinge and symptom with everyone else.

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Hello DD36, I am so sorry to read about all you've been through. It is a difficult road, and I think when you already have children people often don't realise that you can still hurt just the same, especially when you hear of other's pregnancies and new babies. It's unfair that most folk are able to take for granted that they'll have the family they want, but for so many of us it always seems to be an uphill struggle. And the losses compound things even more, to finally achieve an amazing pregnancy but never to bring those babies home. I may understand some of your pain over losing your little girl - my youngest son was stillborn close to term earlier this year. We are trying again now.... it feels kind of soon, but I'm too scared to leave it any longer.

Just read your post and just felt I should post and say you're not alone.
I don't know what the solution is, but wanted to send a hug.
I have children from a previous relationship, and am experiencing secondary infertility now.
Thinking of you
xx

So sorry to hear of your struggles and pleased you have found the site. There are many people on here who will understand and be able to support you completely.

There is a thread on here I think called late miscarriage, stillbirth, child loss support - which might be helpful for you. Moggle is on that thread too.

On your TTC - can you ask to be referred for IVF? IVF successes are much higher than IUI. Many girls with problems like yours have had success with IVF and drugs such as clexane, asprin, steroids etc. This might be the route for you. Speak with your consultant and see what they think your next steps are to be. Do you have any illnesses yourself?

are you eligible for recurrent miscarriage tests at all? I'm not sure of the 'rules' these days as I had my miscarriages before delivering my daughter. It may be that something as simple as a blood thinning drug could help you.