25 Thoughts on College Football's First Weekend

Here are some things I think/thought about the first weekend of the college football season.

1. OK, I should've done some research on VT. I mean, I didn't bet on them or make any real predictions, but when you lose that many players of that quality, how in the world are you ranked in the top 25?! This one should've been seen a mile away.

2. I'm not sure why, but I found myself gloating over the Pitt loss. I don't really have anything against the school, coach, or players, but I'm just kind of happy they lost. I guess I just like it when someone who gets undeserved hype and respect is brought back down to earth (same reason I was happy that TTech wasn't that impressive).

3. Dang, I wish I would've watched the second half of the UCLA vs. Tenn. game. Darn my girlfriend! How does a guy throw FOUR HORRIBLE INTs in the first half and then win the game? If only Chris Simms could've pulled that trick.

I missed out on a chance to see the Fake UT get beaten and to see more shots of the cheerleader above?! Big mistake.

4. Clemson, Clemson, Clemson. I don't wanna pour salt on the wounds, but it's really gotta sting that not only did you lose (which admit it, you knew, deep down you would), you just got destroyed. The hype machine claims another victim. You would've thought people would be used to this with them, but I guess not.

Here's a hint: FIRE BOWDEN! I mean, I had a feeling Bama would win, but I had no idea that they would dominate like this. Yeesh. I'll take the SEC over the ACC any day.

5. USC looks good. Really good. Crap.

6. The Pac-10 looked pretty darn good. When a team like UCLA, who many predicted to have no more than four wins, beats one of the supposedly better teams in the SEC, you've got to be pretty proud. Cal beat MSU. Pretty good weekend.

I mean, WSU didn't beat my Big 12 brothers from Stillwater, but hey, you've gotta take baby steps. First get better than the Big Ten and SEC, and then when you wear big boy pants, maybe you can talk about challenging the Big 12. All I'm saying is, my UT beat a team in Los Angeles. Bring it on Snobs!

7. The Big East looked really bad, except for Pat White.

8. The Big 12 looked pretty good, except for A&M. HA HA! Poor Aggies.

9. Way to go Georgia Tech! Karma's a bee-yotch, isn't it Perrilloux?

10. Mizzou, rest Maclin! Or don't—get him hurt for the entire season. It would help my Horns out.

11. I wish Indian food was easier to get. Why are all the Indian restaurants like sit-down places or buffets? You can order Chinese by number and get it delivered. I have to put on pants and go halfway across Atlanta and then navigate my way through the Malayalam language just to get some good paneer.

Hey, I said thoughts on the weekend, not exclusively college football. It was an issue I dealt with this weekend.

12. Did the GameDay guys curse Beanie Wells, whose name reminds me of Beenie Weenies and kinda makes me sick to my stomach...? Run-on sentence. Either they jinxed him with the "He's gotta stay healthy" speech, or that dude really is injury-prone.

I hate to break it to ya, OSU fans, but it sounds serious. He's not gonna be the same player for at least a month. Which brings me to my next point...

13. Although they won, I think at least three National Championship hopefuls are out of the picture now.

A. OSU loses Wells and will probably lose to USC. They can't recover from that loss and the national perception (voters) to make it to the championship game.

B. Mizzou didn't look dominant enough to convince me that they would be in the NC game. Add a gimpy Jeremy Maclin, and their chances seem even slimmer.

C. Georgia lost another player to injury and already had the toughest schedule in college football. Many people weren't picking them to make it all the way through that schedule even before all the injuries and arrests.

I could make cases against OU and Florida too, but I'll chill. LSU and WVU still look pretty solid.

THOUGHTS on the Longhorns' first game.

14. Is Howard Schnellendork even the coach at FAU? I mean, the guy never had any assistants or players near him, and he didn't wear a headset. He just seemed to be mumbling like a crazy old angry Colonel Sanders. Anyways, we shut him up—him and his suspenders.

15. Colt looked good. Real good. Maybe it will silence all the haters.

16. The defense was disappointing to me. I know FAU only scored 10, but they should've had more. We were very fortunate to get a couple red zone turnovers. I don't think we got a single sack, which is very unsettling considering how we were supposed to be better in that area.

However, it does appear that Will Muschamp made some good adjustments, or maybe our players got smarter as the game went on. I think the secondary will be OK, but I'm not sure.

17. The offense looked really good in all aspects.

18. Matthew McConaughey might not be a great actor, but he is a cool-@$$ dude.

19. I love Vince Young.

THIS CONCLUDES THE LONGHORN PORTION OF YOUR BROADCAST

20. I really thought LSU might struggle, especially with the early start, but they played well. Maybe they just partied all night, so they were still awake. Glad Gustav was merciful.

21. I still have no thoughts on the Wisconsin football team. But I could go for a cheese-covered brat.

23. After that win, I don't think Bama fans have any problems with the Dark Lord of the Underworld being their coach. Sellouts!

24. I think that if you want your rival to win, for any reason, then they're not your rival. Screw how their success might help you if you beat them. Screw conference allegiance. If you hate someone, you better darn well hate them! Georgia fans, you should've been cheering for UCLA last night.