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The divorce resources listed below provide helpful information about a range of important topics, all provided by experts and other knowledgeable individuals. Topics include all things legal and financial, health and body, and more lighthearted content like makeup how-tos, music recommendations, and recipes.

Extramartial affairs are consistently cited as one of the top reasons women file for divorce. Affairs are a stunning betrayal of the heart, and the pain can cut through you like a knife. Trust me, though — if you choose to, you can learn from the experience, and grow to become a more mature, independent woman.

Sometimes the most difficult lessons in life are the ones that force us to break out of our box and make a decision. You can either learn from the pain or you can be destroyed by it. Everything depends on where your thoughts are — control what you think about and you will control your life.

Here are 7 Common Signs Your Husband is Cheating:

1. Is your husband paying more attention to his appearance? Is he wearing new clothes, using cologne, and making sure his hair is combed? If this is not his normal behavior, then this could be a huge sign your husband is having an affair.

2. Is he critical of you? Has he been picking fights lately? This is another big sign. My ex was very cranky around the time he was cheating and I couldn't understand why he was so angry with me. I remember one night he got dressed, put on his shoes and brushed his teeth. I thought this was odd because it was late and it looked like he was going somewhere. Instead he sat on the couch. As I was finishing something on the computer, he yelled: "So you're not going to spend any time with me? Fine, I'm, going to my friend's house." And he got up and left. I realized later that he was purposely picking a fight so he could have an excuse to leave the house. His "friend" was, of course, his lover.

3.Watch out if he is suddenly too nice to you. If this is not his normal behavior, then he could be trying to assuage his own pangs of guilt.

4.He doesn't want you using his cell phone. This is how my divorce began. My ex twisted my arm when I wouldn't give him back his cell phone. He knew that I would discover the calls to his lover. Ask your husband if you can use his cell. Watch his reaction.

5.Is he staying up late surfing the Web until the wee hours of the night? He may be having cybersex, looking at pornography, or instant-messaging his lover. If you're computer savvy, you can find out where your husband has been on the Internet (most internet browsers have a "history" function that will show every page visited over a certain period. If this list has been "cleared" recently, that could be another sign). There are also programs you can install on your computer to monitor activity and find out what is really going on.

6. Does your husband have a newfound interest in hanging out with "the guys"? Did he just start a new hobby or join the gym? Is he gone certain evenings of the week? You may want to discreetly follow him one evening and see where he is really going, or use a GPS tracker. My ex started hanging out with one of his buddies several times a week. This is the same buddy he used to see only once every few months. It became obvious later that this "buddy" was his girlfriend.

7. Is he no longer interested in having sex? Did he always want to be with you in the past, but now has little interest? This is another huge sign. Sometimes, though, it can be the opposite: The guilty husband syndrome. He may want to be intimate with you even though he is getting it somewhere else too! I coached a woman who found out that her husband was cheating the morning after he made love to her. Apparently, he had been intimate with his mistress the day before too!

I am not on anybody's side. If you become complacent with your spouse, don't share sexy thoughts to one another, take your spats and don't create a way to change what you arguing about, financially sabotage and spend unnecessary, do not respect, honor or worship the ground your partner walks on, communicate, get rid of your disgusting bad habits, help around the house, take an equal roll in raising the kids, take time out for a date night, take in consideration if the tables are turned how would you feel, then more than likely you are not doing what you are supposed to be doing and you are going to be cheated on or divorced. So don't make it come to you like it is a big surprise! Be complacent at all tmes with your partner. If your partner refuses to change or bow down to your needs then neither one of you belong with each other. Send them out the door to the trash that will put up with it. If you are not willing to make sacrifices and happily share with someone, then why the hell even get in a relationship to begin with! If it was sex we'll make that clear, and don't go selfishly trapping something you know you do not want in the first place!

hi my partner and I live in different states about 4 hour flight. anyway I went to stay there for a month and wanted to clean his room, so I did. I found a backpack and init was latex cloves, condoms, this big round rubber thing, vibrator, which none of these things are what we used.. then I cleaned his car and found a escort card and a business card for a sexy clothing shop really love him

I been married for 2 year and 5 months we have 2 kids, lately he been picking up fights yelling and calling me names.i text him n he doesn't answer my texts. Last night we were having sex and he didn't finish? And just walk out of the room and slept in the couch.

If you need signs in order to tell if you husband is cheating, maybe your relationship is already in trouble. If you can't just ask him about it or he's lying to you, your relationship is probably already in trouble.

He don't do nothing with me but he always with his buddy's but he got google page all kind of apps a fifty year old man never was interested in never new nothing bout google glide then he ask his daughter to set his gmail up but not me and I'm wifey why curious and he carried his gmail info in his pants pocket everyday

Who ever wrote this is being honest. Ive been married 5 long years. With 3 children (with my husband) im currently pregnant with my 4th from my husband. I came into the relationship with my son abel from a previose relationship. I know this man, ive dedicated every minute of my life to my children and my husband. This much i know about him. Before meeting me,he would go clubbing and dating every weekend. He dont dress up at all. Never! During pregnacies with all our children he has gained weight too. His daily hygiene is shower,brush teeth, after shave an deoderant. And babypowder on hot days. He spoiled me rottn. Didnt care if he went without as long as I was happy and the kids had what they needed. He use to rush home to me everyday (and pop up with lunch on his breaks).
We use to could talk all nite an make eachother laugh.

Trust me i know my husband........so much i know what hes guna say or do before he does it.still to this day.
Now my hisband cares how he looks,has a secret cologne in his car that he puts on while "fixing tonys truck" (mind you he fixes tonys truck pretty much 5x a week for years now) it should be more then fixed. He always tells me he needs to loose weight. He says he has to go look at a customers car after work for extra cash. Hes been doing that alot too. Im no idiot were so behind on bills as much as he fixs tonys truck and go look at customers cars we should be caught up. He no longer spoils me. He says he has bills to pay, when he comes home instead of huggn an kissin me...he looks for ANYTHING to bitch at me about. He never cared about a cell phone. Now his cell phone is his "baby". He wont let me even look at it before he turns the screen off and shove it under his leg as i walk up. Hes always checkn his messages when he gets a chance. He takes out all the carseats. Ive found alot of womens make up,rings,a motel towl with make up on it, in the family suburban. I feel like she wants me to know he has her. Twice in a month he wont come home. These nites im up all nite drinking coffee. Im past the crying and asking whys........so i drink my coffee and try to figure out why did i let it get this far. I becme his housewife ,mother of his kids.......im no longer fun. I live for my families happiness. Not mine. He wanted a family,i gave it to him. He still and always has had sex with me twice a day still to this day. Our sex life is great. We do it ALL. i even watch porn and please him. Even tho i have 5 children and ive been pregnant every year...i know im beautiful. Ive been told so by alot of people. This hits me hard. I am good to him. This weekend i recieved a message from some guy saying he wanted to have sex with me all nite to this certain song. I replied that i had a husband an d he wouldnt like that and i loved and respected him too much to do that to him.
The guy replied calling me a bitch and saying he was jokin

I didnt hide it i showed my hub and i was surprised to see guilt in my exspression and he just sat there silent and zombie like for 5 minutes. Then he wrote back to this guy that i was his wife,and basically wanted to kick his ass. But the rest of the nite he held me and it was strange. I dont understand why he puts me thru this. I just want the guy i fell for back. My big papahead.
Hes 43 and im 24.

Hello , my husband and newly weds of 12/17/2012
I am not 21 and he is 25. We were the cutest couple and we were so much in love. I still am but he has being calling me names such as i am crazy and this relationship is not based on love but rather craziness. He said I was crazy because I traveled for two months to another country and his parents traveled to the states to see him. They stayed with him almost all summer. The minute I got back from my vacation, his family sat me down and informed me that he was never home. Not a single night since they got here. They warned me maybe he is seeing someone else. So i got suspicious and I began to ask questions and look for him. To the point that I went to his "buddies" house and looked inside and made his buddy call him and ask him where he was. The answer I heard on the loud speaker was I am still with the chick. So I freaked out and went back to his mom and told her here is what I found out blah blah blah. She gave me a temporary shoulder to cry on and in my absence told him that he is too young to be married and that I am acting crazy. Now since our marriage we have gotten a car which he crashed while I was gone, We got our own apartment which he didn't sleep in while I was gone, and he became legal here. The legal part I told him I wanna do it he was not for the idea in the first place. Now that I am, he is always at work. and I try to go to my parents house often to lessen the arguments. He always complains about my attitude and tells me that I made him look like a kid in front of his family. Most of all he is never in the "mood " to have sex with me. Today I was with him he suddenly began to stroke himself and wanted to get a BJ (sorry for the bad word use) . So for me I say finally and I do it than he asks to have sex and I said I was on my time of the month. He asked to do it from ..... so I tried and it was painful I said ouch and immediately stopped and said he was late to work. When he left to work I realized that a girl has been over our house several days ago and left her account signed in. I began to translate her language which sounded like european ( russian, or ukranian) and I began to read message that had my name mentioned, she also mentioned that they were at the beach on a certain weekend and that now that his parents are leaving she wont be able to see him that often. The problem is I know who the girl is and I have invited her over the apartment before. When I confronted him he simply said I would never do a SLUT like her and that I am crazy digging in people's profiles and on his history. and also claimed that his buddy is the one thats having an affair with her. ! Bottom line is I love him but I cant tell if is being a manipulative asshole or if he is telling the truth . I wanna fix this !

Is texting cheating? I caught my hubby twice texting two women. I feel its cheating because he is being secretive and having inappropriate convos.he apologized but i feel he only did cuz he was caught. I ask him to talk to me,thats what im here for and im confused because these women live in different states.

Just found out my husband is getting messages from single women sites he thinks hes doing nothing wrong.he does not want to have sex with me he'd rather watch women playing with their bodys.its my wedding anniversary next day i feel heart broken .what can i do?

I must agree somewhat with "concerned husband" below. Just because your husband is having more external interests such as hobbies of fitness doesn't mean he's cheating. Five years ago I changed my lifestyle and over time I became a fitness freak and faced some questions from my wife about these changes. There was some suspicion in the beginning but that can be overcome with trust and communication. Trust your husband if he's given you no other reason to distrust him. We as husbands should be open about changes and why we are pursuing them.

The latter is especially important whenever changing your appearance physically (by fitness and diet) to the extent that you're spending a lot of time in the gym or running. She may think that you're improving your physique for someone else if you don't talk about it. If you talk she may just appreciate your effort to look good for her and not someone else.

I strongly believe that your perception of being nice, dressing up, not interest in intimacy, and the finding of new friends means = Husband is CHEATING is wrong. How about if we look at someone that take care of himself, looking to expand his social life or relax in the healthy way (professional, people with family, church goers), and the stress at work that as a result his libido is low.

If the husband receives what he needs from his wife love, care, listen, understanding and intimacy the MAN will never look elsewhere. A wife that knows about the kitchen duties, a wife that acts as a lady in activities, friends and/or around a family members and that is willing to foreplay and release herself during the intimacy is the Perfect Wife.

The same situation applies to a woman when cheating, but women can be more discrete and devious in the tricky way.

I suspect my husband is cheating , we have 2 children. He does not communicate well with the children . He spend most of he's time on computer and phone at home . I try to address this issues to him but he keep getting back at me . He said if I think he's cheating I should keep it to myself except if I want a divorce which I don't pray for . He doesn't like me to talk back at him which I usually do because the way I believe I can get my point across . I love him and he make me happy sometimes we spend time together sometime . Pls what should I do.

I'm newly married and just got out of the military been married 3 months and the week after I got married to my husband found out I'm pregnant. Well everything was fine before I got out of the military and we moved to Missouri we was currently with his mom for a few weeks and they all just gang up on me and be completelmy rude and he takes there side. Well then it became he's not interested in sex anymore with me and we normally have it on a regular basis. Well he then starts fights hides his phone says its his personal property. Yet I'm the one who pays for it and I only asked to use his phone to make a phone call and he flips out getting mad then when we had a fight one night and later comes back to me saying let's go to a friends to hang out I said sure and we. Both went well we went into the house and he turns to leave so I called him where you going he said to my best friend Samantha's well he been trying me all night none stop so I didn't think he'd do anything and the next day we took a shower and he had scratches on the part of his back where he can't reach and parts of the skin was scratched open with dry blood so I asked him why he had scratches and for 10 min he told me he didnt have any and I was like yeah you do look in the mirror then he said why you think I'm cheating I said no I just why they were there and he's like oh I was itching my back is all. Then the other day I was having a conversation with him and a friend on Facebook and then this girl got on calling me names and so I got upset and told her to stop she then start saying she new my husband better and they have more of a history together and then calls me trashy and he was agree with everything she said...and before we moved he was never like that....right now I'm so hurt and no idea what to do...I don't want to end my marriage but this is to much :(

I be been married only yr n half,my third,his second,I always HD suspicion,but cd never prove,I saw a peice of post it a while ago when he first lost his job,with a weird nm on it and a pass word,I wrote it down,Nov 1st,I decided to crack in to it it ws email address,well to my surprise he ws talking with old girlfriend for past yr,I MD hard copies,9 pages,I want gonna say anything but ,the last peice of paper I printed stayed in printer,until he went to turn on printerit popped out,with the amount of pages and where from,so he got mad at me for snooping,I told him he ws wrong,long story short he admitted to talking with ,and he wrote her email telling her they can't talk anymore", he's been kissing ass ever since,I told I wd call her boyfriend.

im a girl my guy friend told me dont randomly believe online signs or whatever you got to see it up front for yourself first. and you can usually feel it if you do feel that your husband is cheating i highly recommend you to let it go and move on slowly then later when he decides to come back he cant cause the house hold family belongs to you.
men who says what if it is co-worker im sure those type of men who are disagreeing to this articles are total cheaters.

girls please ask your're close guy friends about signs for players, cheaters, the guy friends who kept asking you to hangout once in a while, understandings of you, remember the things you say.

My husband constantly accused me of being with family members on his side , he even accused me if being with my nephews friend which is a sick an disgusting thought cuz he's a kid We have kids that age , and this is something that I'm so against.. Then it was just an every weekend thing he start fights and accuse me of the same stuff, he would put me down , say how fat n ugly I was , I was called every name that no woman of a 30 yr marriage should be called I have been so faithful to my husband . And for him to call me these names that u would think he just started dating me for a few months and I was no good for nothing.. I provided 90% towards our financial household bills , and supported our kids when in fact he made double of wat I made. He has never taken that responsibility to be the man of the house but wants to be placed on a pedal stool for doing yard work and maybe giving me 200 dollars a mth , and I would be the one who bought every piece if clothing on his back , from day one..he would even accuse me of being with guys that walked by us , if he went to my job and if there was guys standing outside but not even coworkers it was homes Accross the street , I was having affair with them.., now that I have been on medical leave I started looking into his stuff found a few girls number called them n they both said the se thing oh I don't know him , I been getting calls people asking for jobs, also putting fake names under certain numbers in his phone changed all passwords
And even changed his phone number so I can't see his bill and his outgoing n incoming calls n txt.. He always wanted to check my phone but he would get upset cuz he wAnted me to delete numbers that I have no clue who they were .. But him he deleted all web history and calls... I feel in my heart my husband us cheating and I feel I already went thru the worst part cuz the feeling us so deep and real.. But u have the most hornist husband that can't keep his hands off u then all of a sudden it stops until I brought all of my findings to his attention, now he tries once a week to make love but it's so fake.. And I'm not fat I work out 5 dys a week , but he don't want me wearing jeans don't fix myself up and don't answer the door if it's a guy .. I will throw the towel in if I have solid proof bcuz we are junior high sweet hearts he messed around on me for 6 yrs prior to being married u forgave him but I told him one thing if u commit adultery n take this marriage like it was nothing , n u hve affair even if I find out 10 urs from now I will divorce u!! So I know he will never admit it to me so I need help to spy on his phone

My husband works at a sushi bar and he said he gets off at 11pm when he goes in at 10am and he called me real fast to say this job is weird they have a two hour lunch and the guya just take a nap in this room with a huge couch and black lights the room is dark its a sushi bar so it sounds weird then today he didn't want to wear his work shoes cuz he said they are too narrow so he wore his nice shoes which are way more narrow and he took his cologne with him hes never taken cologne to any job i dunno whats going on he said yesterday he only works 8hours then called to say they just changed it to 12 hours

You think it could never happen to you. After 10 years and four kids my husband decided to take up with a co-worker. Yelled at me constantly, blamed me for his unclean laundry and late dinner. I knew something was up when he would "dissapear" on the phone the same time each night.- Get this - asshole is disabaled. I lost my job due to absences to take care of him.- VNA only goes so far. He bruised my face and still claims that he never had an "affair" because he waited until I left with the kids to have sex with her( in her car) he now says he's " disgusted " with her. I'm completely disgusted with him. No way am I raising my boys to disrespect women. Thank god for their poppy!

hey I am having some doubt about my husband one nite he got dress n told me that he was going to a cousin house got- a phone call sayin that he were somewhere else but I went to see for my else not only that I see him but I had to chase behide him like he was doing something that he didn't had no business so is that a sign that he is cheating

Confused here. I read on the Wed about signs of cheating husbands. My husband has been seen flirting and even girls that give him stuff knowing he's married. His additide becomes way more friendly, open, happy like, and as if he's a great guy type of thing when he's around other females. Shorter point he seems as if he's fake with them. With me I get a total different type of additide with most of the time is more rude, not carring and a whatever style. When something happens that I question with a female he tells me "u can believe me or not". With most of the time I dont believe him. My gut says "male dog" but my mind says "wht if it's nothing and its me looking at it as if Im looking for him to do wrong?". Im very confused and just dont know if it's me or if it's really him cheating. (?)... Help!

My advice to you ladies experiencing the roughness in your relationship: know what you want then direct your actions toward that! You will either, a) put up with your current situation and all that comes along with it OR b) put your foot down and pursue a diplomatic resolution (that, of course is beneficial for YOU). If you pick the latter, and you know in your heart that you have given it all that you can... well, ladies, you know what comes after those words: leave HIM! The choice is yours, of course, only after YOU have fully understood what YOU want in life/your relationship.

He once cheated on me with some whore without using protection.the bitch came claiming she's pregnant n wanted support.we later found out it was a lie n I forgave him but now gone back to his old habits n the worst bit is that my husband doesn't use protection.
Am so confused but love him so dearly.

I just founded out that my husband has been having an affair and the things that he was going with this women he was cheating with was unbelievable. they were meet up on monday's and saturday's and he is a bishop. His behavior toward was very different. the signs are there you just have to pay attention. leaving my husband because I know that I can do better

@Heather Robison, I am praying for you! God can give you direction and insight for your marriage! Lean on God and NOT your own understanding! I will continue to pray for you and your husband! Keep having faith!

My husband always wants a blow job and never wants to have sex. I am a 36 year old woman hey i am in the prime of my life. I need love and affection. My husband always says he loves me but always wants to stay at his mommas on Sundays because he is a preacher. My heart is broke and everytime i try to talk to him its always just drop it. He keeps a password on his phone and I never know how much money he makes and i never know what to say because we have no communication. Really and truly i dont know what to do anymore .

you're an idiot: It's not just the woman's job to keep it hot and sexy. I get attention from men no problem but then a dog is a dog and will sniff until he finds it. The man in the relationship has to look at himself too- Do you have a beer belly? Bad breath from smoking cigarettes or weed? Are you boring in bed and just lay there or get off amd not worry about your woman's satisfaction? It cuts both ways here. The grass is always greener on the other side and you men need to look at yourselves before blaming it all on the woman. My libido is high but when my man comes home high or late it's a TURN OFF. I'll hook him up but in my mind wish it was OVER.

7 signs your husband is cheating: Great article, but you left out a few signs: 8) he buys a shredder to "keep anyone from taking your credit card information" & shreds all the credit card statements about 20 seconds after they arrive; 9) has a credit card that the wife doesn't carry; 10) stops responding to calls & texts(mostly about your kids' well-being) to his cell phone during the middle of the day or after work on Fridays because he, "left his phone at his desk" or "was out with the guys & couldn't hear the ringtone" when he was really on a "date"; 11) tells you the one-night stand you busted him for years ago was just that, a one-time thing, and not one of many nights with prostitutes; and, finally, (my personal favorite) leaves one of at least two secret email accounts open so you can find it in the morning & read about the great time he had the night before & see that he's really setting up a three-way with two paid prostitutes.

Please add them to your list so other women aren't similarly duped by these abusing assholes.

This is why i sometimes hate: This is why i sometimes hate being a woman theres constant competiton with other females then our insecurities get to us there are days when i feel not pretty,but i just dont have time to notice if hes cheating or losing interest to begin cheating i would rather be alone then to start another realtionship...

For a world thats supposedly: For a world thats supposedly more populated by women, I know more single men than I know women. And Im not talking guys who are single by choice. They get rejected left and right.

First off, the "more men than women" argument is outdated and bullshit. It used to be true because women live longer. But in recent years, it isnt true. Women and men live equally now, and in some cases, there are now more men than women. Second, I am married but I have never had a problem attracting a man, or shunning them for that matter. Third, if guys like you are the only kind of nen I have to choose from, barf, get my airplane sickness bag, because I rather be single. Any women who would take your sorry ass up has zero self respect and is a doormat, and any attractive women would never put up with that, only sloppy seconds. You can tell everyone here otherwise, but in reality, you're a bitter, broke, fat, bald man who lives in his mother's basement.

Ladies... If your man is cheating and you have kids, get the hell out. After having my kids, I realize theyre the most important thing in my life. I have a fabulous husband, but if he ever cheats, I'll be taking the kids and moving out. Whether or not I find another man, I couldnt care less. Just dont settle for a guy like Mr Guest here, he isnt worth the crap that comes out of his ass.

yep, not interested in: yep, not interested in sleeping with me, joined the gym, sleeps all day long, up all night, new password to fb, lies where our money go, def all signs! We also just had a baby, so there is going to be a looong battle, but I don't need this, I deserve a real love, real man who would hug me at night but not run away :'-(

A) This means men have alot more choices then women
B) it means churches will tell you that being gay is forbidden by god but then you look at all his followers who are men... yeah...
on a serious note
men still get paid more then women
in tight times like this there's a financial reason why women are in need of me
C) we are poisoned to need the physical touch because men don't really offer much to women accept their sex and their money

Laws of attraction are a pretty crucial to know for the sake of knowing if a relationship is healthy and how to keep it that way

cheating spouse?: same boat only im married. Now 4 the 1st time ever in r 5yrs of marriage & 7yrs of being 2gether suspecting husband of cheating. Picking fights with me n r 3 kids non stop, never a apoligy like b4, distantencing himself frm us (fam is r #1 prioty 2 us always has been n will b) very aggressive behavior towards us, coming home late, drinking alot more n alot more often than b4, wont put time on his phn, humualates me infront of every1 including r kids n makes me feel like the biggest pos on earth! Got 2 hve a life saving surgery done in a cple mnths n hes constantly throwing "if u ddnt hve 2 hve a 5grand surgery i wld hve my truck up n runing" in my face atleast once a day.. N ya sex, mnths go by with no intamicy @ all. Leaves me 2 wonder what happened 2 all the love n compassion he had 4 us not 2 long ago..if we r not getn it, WHO IS???!!!???

#4 is correct: considering i'm guilty of the crime, i can say the one weakness that women have is being nieve or not following intuition.

The appearance thing, .... you learn, if your cautious, what things will give you away. If your smart, you have to be aware of things constantly and always be aware of your surroundings. For everything I did, I had a legitimate acceptable excuse for it. When it becomes habit, you feel confident that your smarter than your mate. That's when you leave the door open for the unexpected. I was very good at thinking on my feet and not looking or acting guilty but there were times where I let my guard down and got caught. It's knowing when and where to challenge the lie that is key. If you suspect something, do try and let him mess up and get comfortable with thinking he has fooled you. A smart person won't do the same things over and over and will usually cover his tracks pretty good.

Aside from what ever you think and know and what you have read on how to find the signs of someone cheating, the cell phone is usually the one thing that will bring a man down. if you want to be smart, learn his phone. Learn about the software and what capabilities he has on it. Learn where to find the history of browsers, the software and where or how to hide things on the phone. check the phone records for text or media messages. All messengers will use data more than likely and even though all internet is combined as media, you can still find patterns in the time stamps. it's not proof but it can show unique data patterns.

asking to use the phone is one thing, if you know for sure and want proof, your gonna need time to look through the phone. personally, i would encourage someone to put on a well scripted play to do it. act like something is wrong with your friend on the phone, go so far as to act like yours has died and you need to use his because it's an emergency. take off with it like you have to go help someone and you'll be right back. that's when you will have the time to look through the phone. you don't have to go to that extreme but in my case it would have worked and I would have been had. i would have been a nervous wreck as well. Only because I don't text or use a messenger so just asking for my phone to take a quick look wasn't gonna show much. If she knew where and how to look through the software, I would have been screwed. taking off with it would have been the only way. I considered myself smart and I pulled it off for a long time but the stress and constant attention to detail was very stressful and took its toll. The mind games were a daily routine and it began to unravel to the point where I just chose to come clean and except the consequences. i could probably write the perfect guide on how to not get caught but it was dishonest to have an affair and i wouldn't promote how to do it better.

Is it me? Or did he find someone new?: I have been dating my boyfriend for slightly over three years. We have lived together for almost 2 years and have two cats. In the first year of our relationship, he always would text me cute messages, complement me, give me massages, flirted nonstop with me, always wanted to do things together, and always wanted to have sex (3 to 4 times a day). However, we did go through a rough patch and he had a one night stand. He denied it all at first, until I saw his call list and the night he went missing, there was a call to a guy late that night. I took down the number and called it to find out it was a female. I also deleted her number from his phone when I found it. I confronted him after I confirmed he cheated and he told me that I would not stay with him if he told me everything that happened. He did and I backed away a bit, but he put much effort into getting me back, and considering we were on the edge when it happened, I decided to give him a second and last chance. My feelings for him were too strong to walk away and not see where we would end up.

When I first moved in with him, we had a roommate(his best friend). It was a mistake on my part because living with two guys, one you are not dating, and having to clean up after them is a lot to handle. Plus, he was always in the living room and I confined myself to our bedroom and bathroom. So we were constantly on top of each other, which caused arguments. Our sex lives were not the best, but it still happened. Within the year, his friend got into some trouble and decided to tell us the day rent was due, that he was moving out. I was happy that we would finally be alone, but it was bad timing. Within that same month, I lost my job because I reported a guy for sexual harassment (which my boyfriend urged me to do). I decided with him to talk to a lawyer and go after my old company. It settled out of court, but it caused a huge change in our relationship. I could not find any work, (still cannot in my field), and our sex lives are now demolished. I am lucky if he will sleep with me once a month. And yes, I do keep track. He also began criticizing me about everything, from the clothes I wear, how I put my makeup on, the hours I sleep, how he cannot stand that I cannot do anything by myself (I can, but I like to do things with him), how lazy I am, and how I do not do anything all day (which led me to stop cleaning the house on a daily basis and caused me to get very angry at him considering I tried to keep the house spotless with him and two cats). And the BIGGEST problem he has with me, is that I cannot pay any of the bills, because I do not have a job.

From the time I moved in with him to the time my credit was completely used up, I paid all the bills using my credit cards because he was so behind on them. Therefore, I am still paying a substantial amount of money each month because of this. He does not understand this at all, that if he paid me back for the bills he begged me to pay, I would be able to give him money month to month for the bills.

He has become so nasty towards me and treats me like I am a piece of crap. I try to stay clear of him because he never has anything nice to say. I asked him if he would ever stop hating me, and he told me he doesn't know and asked me if I will ever stop making him do things for me, like kill a spider, take the cat out of the room, hand me my face wash, and etc. He truly hates me for asking him to do anything at all. I believe this has something to do with a girl at his job.

When I went through my issue with the last company I worked for, he told me how he goes out of his way to make sure this girl doesn't feel like he was sexual harassing her. Still to this day, he swears he never said that, and I am still not sure what it even meant? Since the summer, he begun getting friendly with her. From what he tells me, he only sees her on cigarette breaks or during lunch at the office. However, from what I saw on the phone bill weeks ago compared to his phone, he has been deleting messages. When I asked him about it, he didn't have anything to really say. In addition, he decided to go take her to the store recently with her son because she got into a car accident and needed a ride. He left work to help her out, and he didn't tell me about it until he came home. Almost 2 hours after he was suppose to get out of work. He told me this with a grin from ear to ear. And apparently her son's father happened to be at the same store and she had to tell my boyfriend to leave, because her baby's dad gets very jealous. I think this made my boyfriend even more intrigued. Now, he set up a password on his phone and has not shared it with me. I have a huge feeling he did so to hide his conversations with this girl. Considering, that I have no way of looking at them now. I do see on our bill that they have been texting like crazy and everytime I call him at work he is either too busy to talk or is not available. I have never met this girl, but going by the way he talks about her, she seems to be more than just his type.

Any comments about this situation? Am I over reacting or over thinking?

In addition, I just started as a waitress two days ago because he told me things would get better once I had a job, even if it was not what I went to college for. I asked him if he was okay with it before I went through the interview process and he said that if I didn't, he would leave me. Well, the first day I came home in my uniform, after feeling fat all day, he doesn't compliment me or tell me that I look sexy. Instead, I was told that the shorts were a little rediculous. Honestly, I am not very comfortable in them right now because I have gained about 10 pounds by not doing anything for months. I am still thin but not where I want to be. Is it a good if bad sign that he actually had something to say? I was honestly hoping that if he knew other guys would be talking to me all the time, that he would want to make sure I am satisfied with him and only him. I do not know if it will help, it hasn't yet. Can someone please offer some or any advice? I have never been this upset with my love life and I am at a lost on how to fix it? And I never heard of a guy not wanting sex or punishing his girlfriend by not having sex with her. I have been use to the opposite when it comes to sex and relationships.

He has mentioned how he wants a future for us and to get married and have children... Not too long ago at all. Why does he treat me this way then? And why would he want me to ever question the way he feels about me?

Thank you in advance for any feedback. I have been confused for quite some time.

No one is to blame except: No one is to blame except alcohol. When I drink no one wants to be around me or "touch" me. I can only imagine if I had a disablility on top of alcoholism. Hope you get better

Get The He** Away from that Man!!: Girl, Men will do to you what you allow them to do. He has gotten away with so much from you that he knows nothing is gonna come of it and you will keep returning to him.
Hold that Head High and get yourself out of that Mess. A Real Man will NOT Hit a Woman!! For God's sake don't bring a Child to Live in that Helter Skelter..
Wishing you the best in Life, but How you Live it is up to you..Donna

I think my husband might be cheating : I'm not sure but I think my husband might be cheating on me. He has this girl that messages him all day everyday and he says that she just a friend and they talk about sports because she's really into it and I'm not. I told him that's fine that he has a friend that's a female but since I don't know her or even met her I think it's disrespectful for them to be going on all day messaging each other about whatever when he's has me his wife. And she'll be messaging him while I'm tight next to him and he'll reply and he smiles and they send little smiley faces back and forth. He said he's not doing anything but I asked him to ask her server am times not to text him all late at night it at least past 10pm and he said he did but I easily don't think he did because it continues. Also when I'm at work he'll invite friends over witch is fine but he would never tell me he's having company over and when I call or message him asking him what he's doing he would never mention he had friends over but I work five min away from home so sometimes I would catch them leaving when I'm pulling up in front of my house. If he gets Invited to go out for drinks after work he won't tell me until I call his phone wondering where he is then he says that he really didn't want to go but then he comes home smelling like beer and late. I also want to add that he don't like when I go out with friends at night and if I do he wants me home st 12 or its an argument. I'm so confused I need an answer.

7 Signs - LOL, I will give ya one: The first sign your husband is cheating is to look at your self. Are you keeping in shape and giving him the most amazing sex he has had? Are you keeping things fresh and continuing to experiment and further your sexual relations? If not, then he is cheating.

Look - a super deluxe cheeseburger with all the trimmings, side of fries and a good beer is a really great meal. Guys love that stuff. But a super deluxe cheeseburger with all the trimmings, side of fries and a good beer for breakfast, lunch and dinner, all day, every day, for the rest of your natural life... it gets OLD! So old that even a peanut butter and jelly sandwich looks good - your guy will jump on that in a heartbeat.

We won't even talk about what happens if you let yourself go, get fat, get sloppy, plop out a few whining kids, and then a nice, tight, Fillet Mignon happen to fall into your mans lap. He is going to go down on that all day, every day and love it.

If he is smart enough to use a variety of reasons - business travel, the guys, the gym, evening with co-workers, etc. and get his own phone and click the little box that says 'erase history when I exit' - you're never gonna suspect a thing. Just keep rolling along fat, dumb and happy!

I found out about a month ago: I found out about a month ago my boyfriend was having an affair. After getting caught and confessing to everything and begging me to return with him. Although, the phone calls have stopped. He has been having a pornographic affair. Is it because he's bored?

Dont no how much i can take!: My husband and I been married a little over year been together off and on since I was 13. He is my first love and lover. When we got back together in July 2009 it was better then ever I moved in with him after being together for 6 months the beatings started 3 months prior I found out he was cheating from a text he got on his phone at 4:30 am "had a great time today miss you baby" I flipped went after him with a knife and he kicked me out Threw me down the stairs mind u I have no where to go no family except a drug addict mother. I went to my mother house that night made sure I wrote the females (allison) # in my phone first I called her the next day she did not even know he had a girl and it turned out I grew up with her so we met up and talked she swore she would nvr speak to him again. That day he called me and asked to talk i agreed he cried and begged and pleaded for me to take him back and I did the beatings got worse he broke my nose with the arm rest of our car he punched and kicked me even chocked me till i almost passed out 7 months I got pregnant he kicked me out and told me if i dont abort it im nvr coming back so I did when I got bak almost 2 weeks later his son told me that his father had another "mommy" around him so I went on Facebook and pulled up allisons page he said thats her. When He got home i flipped and packed my bags he took me by my hair and dragged me out side in the freezing cold 20 degrees out with no jacket i stayed outside for 2 hours before he let me come back in he promised he would change. He did for a year he didnt hit me cheat on me it was perfect. I started working again I was the happiest i ever been. One day on my day off i went on the PS3 to go on facebook since my laptop had a virus i seen a email i nvr seen before so out of curiosity i put the Password he used for everything n it worked I found messages between him and allison saying is she at work so i can come over n fuk u baby i called the bitch she didnt answer so i went to her house n waited 5 hours for her to come out n told her if she ever talks to him again i will cut her into little pieces and dump her in the hudson river. When i got home he was waiting n beat the crap out of me he never talked to her again. N he never cheated again that I know of. I got pregant again in feb. This year i miscarried at 15 weeks and then i got pregnant again and miscarried last week he supported me and helpped me the whole time. Until I went out this new years eve and one of our friends cousins told me she was fuking him and showed me messages between them. She didnt know i was with him still he told her he left me and since he was away wit his family i had to wait 2 days for him to get home he swear he didnt fuk her but i know he did but i have know were to go and my 17 year old brother lives with me now Im stuck. So i decided im going back to school and getting agood job to leave him im only 21 years old I have my whole life ahead of me and im sick of him. I want to throw up when I look at him.

I'm a cheating man: Well I guess I'm the monster that destroys hearts and families just because my ego is so big I just feel I'm entitled to do so. I’m so self centered I became a serial killer of the heart. Let me let you guys in my particular circumstances. When I got married I did because I loved the woman I married, we had a wonderful beginning but right away we found out that she had a mental condition that placed me as the center of her aggressions. We found she is rapid cycling bi-polar and molested by her father from a very early age and this compounded by the fact that we were trying to integrate two families with two different ethnical backgrounds. She is white from Wisconsin and has two children from her first marriage and I’m Latino from Puerto Rico with also two children that I’m raising on my own. I know it sounds racist but think, her kids wanted mac & cheese at the same time that mime that mine wanted arroz con pollo. We have been somehow successful in the integration of the family, not completely. She still has not really accepted my younger son from my first marriage who is the one most affected in my first marriage. My first wife molested him. The both of us especially me have been the receptors of her frustration and her aggression over the years. There have been beautiful moments too but it always goes back to the arguments. She is cold with me, she tells me she loves me but there are no expressions of affection, no playing until I start and has to be me only the one that starts. We have discussed this issue and she says that she can’t for some reason initiate any kind of play with me even after all this time. Then I met my mistress. She is beautiful, loving, very hard working woman. I’m not blind I also see her handicaps. She didn’t finish her education, been married once, has been an exotic dancer in the past, has used drugs in the past and lost her four year old daughter in a car accident. She also says she loves me but she tells me she will do whatever she has to do to change her life and be with me. To my surprise I found she is. She is very loving as I mentioned, I have forgotten how it feels when she plays with my ears or she kisses me for no reason, or suddenly I feel her warm hands coming from behind me and hugging me. Sometimes we play just like teenagers. Imagine at my age, I’m 49 and I’m playing around with this beautiful blond like 2 teenagers in love. It is very hard, knowing that all I’m going to get out of my wife is an argument, not to run to my beautiful angel’s arms and get lost in her sweet love. I rather be with my wife. I know that if I end with my mistress her past is going to bother me enough to cause us problems. I rather be with the woman I married. I love her and I want to be able to love and play with her just as we did at the start of our relationship. I wish she would come back to me but I think that at this point she’s too far gone and I’m going to be force to start over with somebody else. Do you guys think I’m a monster?

The worst year of my life and still counting.: My husband works as a bus driver/trainer for our school district. He's a great trainer and no one would ever know he is narcissistic sociopath. He lures people with his charm, particularly the ladies, and excellent work ethic at "work," not home. January of 2011 a new "feed" came for training. He immediately took a shine to her. She's reasonably attractive and acts nice. She is 50. He is 66. I had a gut feeling that he was intrigued by her, but put it out of my mind. I never expected they'd end up having a full blown affair.

He started first by stroking her ego and emailing her at first with encouragement about her upcoming road test. She failed twice. He wrote "Show them how to do it." It wasn't until Memorial Day weekend that I realized that they had become VERY close. He seemed so preoccupied with writing on his Ipad and playing CDS and reading a Kindle she had loaned him. I thought it rather odd that he had all this stuff she has given him. The Kindle, particularly seemed an excessive loan. All weekend long he wrote. When he went back to work I actually picked up his Ipad and looked at his e-mails. I had never touched the Ipad and absolutely never would have read his mail.

I was in shock. He had written her 45 long well thought out emails within a 21 day period. He wrote her 1st thing in the morning 4am, sometimes in the middle of the night and last thing before bed. They made references to conversations they must have had in between runs when they'd go for walks everyday while waiting for the kids. He referred to himself as "a bull in a china shop and hope I didn't break the crockery." I still don't know what that was in reference to. They wrote about the books they were reading and music he had loaned/given her. He told her she was by far the most intelligent person at the bus garage, "a true intellectual." I later found in writing her and talking with her on the phone, she not only couldn't spell, she was dumb as a post.

In the e-mails there was a lot of stroking and talks about having a glass of wine at sunset while listening to Ives (a CD he had given her) and "sexy" (lol) Barbara Bonney. She apologized for keeping the music so long. She even said,"Sigh." I guess she was really into it. Though boring and tedious to get through their writing, it was clear they were beyond the "just friends" stage and clearly involved in an "emotional affair." Emotional affairs: I, his wife was unaware of their involvement; they shared intimate thoughts, were excessive in their communications. Bottom line he thought about her 24/7. Meanwhile, I'm left out in the cold. He paid no attention to me-just her.

The day after I read all of these e-mails, I came home to yet another one. In this one she invites him out with friends to the Cafe Lena. It was open mic night. First of all, my husband does not go out. He's a book worm and after a day's work he typically eats and sits in his recliner, which he also sleeps in. When I read that one, where she states: "After all it is a public venue." I started shaking uncontrollably. I started drinking and crying and called one of my friends. Nothing would calm me. This bitch was coming on to my husband. When he got home he got mad at me for reading the e-mails and brushed his teeth, changed his shirt and left. The dog and I were standing at the hood of his car pleading with him not to go. He left. I got drunker and even more desperate.

He eventually, came home. After all it was a weeknight and he gets up at 4am. I asked him if he had relations with her (not my exact words.) I was angry and very hurt. I had greeted him on the outside patio. He slapped my face on both cheeks very gently. I followed him in, when he slammed the door with all his might on my three middle fingers. They immediately turned black and took 4 months to heal. I called 911 and the town of Stillwater cops told him if he did anything like that to me again they would arrest him. They gave me the option to press charges, but I declined. I was concerned he'd lose his job. I was taken by ambulance to the ER for treatment and took a cab home.

I drank and cried and couldn't eat all of June. He did not comfort me or reassure me that he loved me. There was no apology, no empathy, a true sign of a narcissist. I was devastated. I felt as if my life was over. He had spent 5 months of every waking moment thinking about her. I called her on June 7th. I asked: "What's with the e-mails to my husband? In a breathy voice she said," Oh I'm so sorry." She went on they were "just" friends. Funny, I said he never mentioned you except when you came on board at work. He had told her I was disabled. I have weakness in my lower legs and use a walker just for long hallways like at the "Y" and restaurants, but otherwise get around just fine. My balance is affected. People tell me I am a beautiful woman, but needing the walker makes me feel sad.

On June 11th, Lawrence, my husband came up to my loft to report that Julie, the other woman, told him I had called her. He went on out of respect to me, she agreed not to talk or e-mail him anymore and he said he'd comply with my wishes, although he referred to the e-mails as "inconsequential."

June 6th was our 25th wedding anniversary;we did not celebrate. He gave me a card, just signed "love, Lawrence." We ordered pizza to be delivered. That was it. I continued to stay in bed, crying, calling my sisters, my friends. finally on the June 29th, I decided to go to detox . I really didn't want to die, but wanted clarity on the situation. I would later learn that during our anniversary month he wrote her on the apple e-mail that he never wanted her to feel uncomfortable and how grateful he was to her for making his dismal life a bit brighter and he owes her the utmost respect and what a good, generous person she is. And how much he LOVED their walks and talks. All this dribble. was followed by a proposal to open a secret G-mail account to see how their friendship would unfold. I found this e-mail November 12, but it was written in June after he agreed they were "done."

I would also learn on November 4th when he left the secret g-mail page open that: His words-"Good morning, beautiful, my goddess. I love you. I love to kiss you, lick you and feel your hips thrust toward me when we're making love. Next time you won't be able to walk." I had picked the Ipad up to look up a crossword and found that! I felt as if I tripped over a log and was free falling through the air. I starting breathing as if to have a heart attack. I was shaking. I went up to the loft, but other than reading "We'll take it one day at a time and why do I think of you when I'm in Price Chopper," I was unable to read anything more. He followed me upstairs. I sat on the Ipad. He said he wouldn't leave till he got it back. He started crying and foaming at the mouth bellowing that he had fallen in love with another woman, but they decided to break up on November 2. He said he's always loved just me and wanted to stay. Confusing. He said they never wanted to hurt anyone. It was a mistake. The physical affair started while I was in the hospital in July and lasted through November. I have nothing to confirm it's over. But, I view a "mistake" as you're at a bachelor party in Vegas, get drunk and have sex with a random person. Jan through November or beyond is not an error but an intentional breach of trust, complete betrayal. Just wrong.

We were seeing a psychologist for marriage counseling from August-December; but Lawrence lied about everything. He was there to save the marriage but sort of omitted the part about he was having a sexual affair, maintaining there was no secret email, just maybe a "hello" in the hallway. His body language said it all. He'd sit on his hands, put his hands in his pockets, not say much at all and when he's start a sentence with "we," I thought he meant him and me, but he was referring to Julie and himself. That felt weird and questionable. Right along my gut told me something was wrong. I had gone to A.A. meetings all of July and August. I thought we'd be close again, but he neither professed his love for me, nor did he apologize for the emotional affair and the toll it took.

I felt a real disconnect. Those Summer months he was working a the "Y" travel camp. He'd come home everyday around 5pm. I commented:"Wow, they're giving you good hours this year!" In years past if it rained or if the trip was shorter than expected, he'd come home sometimes as early as 3. This Summer when he came home, he would not make eye contact. He looked guilty. But they weren't seeing each other, I thought. Yes, they were. They were meeting at the Spa Park. Doing it in the woods, like animals.

Toward the end of Summer August 27, 28, 29 Lawrence went in to the bus garage to train new drivers, usually from 6am til 12or so. On August 30th I needed to have my car inspected. My appointment was at 9am. The check engine light was on. I had a new catalytic converter installed just the year before. Something else was wrong. My mechanic, Byron made an adjustment and asked me if I had an hour just to drive the car, that the light would go out if I drove it. I said sure.

That morning Lawrence seemed frantic to get out of the house before me. He said, I know when you have to go someplace you like your space to get ready. Yet, all I would do that day was to wash my face, brush my teeth, apply a little makeup and dress quite casually. He said he was going to get his change cashed in for paper money, go to the book store and get me a birthday present. I saw a thermos on the table. "What's that for?" He replied: "Oh, yes, um, I might go over to work to straighten some files out."

So, as the mechanic asked me I drove out to Wilton, the mall, through town. Only a half-hour had passed. I decided to drive to Lawrence's work. With the car still running I called him on my cell from his parking lot. He comes all smiles chatting with another guy. There were maybe 5 cars in the lot. Within seconds I see a woman, hair blown out, nice clothes, smiling, self-assured exiting a different door. I asked him. "Is that her? Is that Julie Hill?" "Who, he says?" "That woman walking toward us," I replied. I backed my car up and looked at her like an eagle ready to pounce. She gave me a wave thinking I was polite to give her space to approach her car. Lawrence stood by his car, dumbfounded, guilty, frozen. She did not acknowledge him in any way. Usually co-workers will say:"See ya Monday."

At the top of my lungs I yelled "You F...... whore!" She ignored me, but her car window was up. I drove up next to him and said:" You louse. That's what the big hurry was about-meeting her!" He answered:" Where do you think she's going over and over again, " which I thought was a rather odd question, totally illogical. "She's going to work!," he said. My concern was they met at the garage and spent some "quality time" in the training, which has blinds and a locking door. Narcissists often say things that have no relevance to the subject. It's hard to explain, unless you live with one. I knew when I saw her that day that they were carrying on. It was not over. I relapsed into drinking briefly. I was so hurt.

He tried to cajole me into focusing on my birthday and how we were going to celebrate. Right. He cashed in his change and bought himself a book. It wasn't until my actual birthday Sept 2 that he bought my gift. Lawrence is really into fashion. He has bought me outfits on Christmas and sometimes birthdays. I don't know how he does it, but during the 25 years we've been married, whatever he buys me fits perfectly. The clothing he bought that day not did not fit. They were things I would never wear: baggy khakis with huge space for thighs and hips and way too long. I am petite. These clothes and I told him were for her or should be. They certainly weren't bought with me in mind. Needless to say, they went back to the store.

So although I did not officially know of their affair until November 4, I certainly knew through intuition. It's funny the e-mail proposing the secret g-mail account just popped up on the Ipad, the mechanic just happened to require I drive that hour, when I would see they were to rendezvous that day and the I found the details, he had left the page open by mistake. I believe God has guided me. How else could I have been at the right place at the right time?

It's been Hellish. I cry everyday because of the betrayal. They said they'd stop, but that unfaithful bastard more or less said:" Oh my wife doesn't matter. Let's go, baby!" So humiliating, so insulting, so low. And, then to read the gory details of him touching and licking her and loving her is an image hard to shake. I can't bare the thought.

When I cry or bring it up, he says:"Are you still going on about that?" It as if nothing happened. Just business as usual. He hit me in the head for crying and saying: How could you do this to me. You ruined my life!" There's a temporary restraining order against him that he cannot hit, intimidate, threaten, etc. It's through family court. He already has said he will tell the judge I am an abusive drunk, which is untrue. 6 of the months they were fooling around, I did not drink, nor do I now. He said he will hire the most expensive accountants and lawyers, so I will live poverty. I asked:"Why." He smiled: "Out of spite."

I contacted her husband. He and I discovered everything around the same time with the same conclusions, Although he runs a car insurance agency, he has become one of my husband's trainees. I asked him why would he want to work there? He said to keep an eye on them. I was flabbergasted at his perseverance to control. My husband says he's a jerk, but I think Rich is a descent guy based on conversations we've had. At some point during the affair, Rich had Lawrence come over to the agency to request that he knock it off. Lawrence said he'd try. I asked Lawrence how can you look the guy in the eye. Don't you feel uncomfortable. He said, "No." My guess is he thinks he'd be better for Julie than her dedicated husband of 27 years. Wow.

Divorce is brought up everyday here. He does not want to support me, but because of my age, inability to work and length of marriage, by law he is obligated to give me full permanent spousal support. Divorce would financially destroy us. I can never feel the same for him. The love I felt is dead. Betrayal, lies and images are hard to shake and no attempt at repair has been broached on his behalf. I am so tired, sad, humiliated although I did nothing wrong. It bothers me she thinks she's got it over me, so yes, my pride is hurt.

I feel sorry for anyone who has suffered as I have. It takes the joy. It takes the trust. It takes your happiness. I only hope in time, I'll be able to start living again. I need time, which Lawrence seems confused about. He's "so over it.? I should be. God, he's weird. Peace be with all of you.

Husbands and wives bring different strengths and desires to marriage. For women, feeling cherished and desired is vital. For a man, respect and sex are of utmost importance. Men also have a powerful drive to make their wives happy -- it contributes to their feeling of success.

You might think that your husband is the exception -- that he doesn't care about delighting you -- but he may just be discouraged because he doesn't feel that he can please you. You have the power to transform your relationship by becoming pleasable, which means showing appreciation for his efforts instead of rejecting or dismissing them -- and by extension, him.

When you reject his efforts because they aren't what you had in mind (e.g., a present that isn't what you want, cleaning that's not to your standards, or a compliment you don't agree with), there's nothing he can do to improve the situation, but there is something powerful you can do: receive graciously.

Remedy: Try an experiment for the next two weeks: However small or imperfect his efforts, receive what your husband offers when he is trying to please or help you. Thank him for his thoughtfulness. Notice how quickly this creates more intimacy as you practice the skill of receiving graciously.

2. -Taking the same approach at home as you do at work-

We women can create a gratifying culture of intimacy, if we know how. If all we've ever been taught is how to get ahead in school and career, but not how to foster intimacy, it's pretty hard to change hats when the work day is done and we want a loving, supportive home.

At work we have to manage projects and staff, move the bottom line and get that promotion. At home the goals are different; we want to feel appreciated and wanted and get more help around the house. But if you treat your husband like an employee, he will rebel. Respecting your husband by saying what you want instead of telling him what to do gives him the opportunity to make you happy in a way that no amount of managing ever will.

Remedy: For two weeks say what you want, but not what he should do or how he should do it. Be patient and allow him to find his own way of pleasing you. Remember, he wants to. Let him, and he will.

3. -Withholding sex-

Most men need sex more than women to feel intimate. You are his only source for that vital form of connecting, and when you withhold -- whether to punish or because you're exhausted -- you miss a chance to receive the intimacy that you both crave.

Remedy: Over the next two weeks as you start experiencing more intimacy, consider making yourself available for sex at least once a week in support of your mutual goal of connecting.

4. -Initiating divorce when the problem isn't insurmountable-

Women initiate between 66% and 90% of all divorces. You might think that's because men do things to make marriage untenable -- like cheat or hit them -- but I hear about women divorcing because he didn't help with the baby, he was emotionally unavailable, or because they grew apart. Countless women tell me they divorced because their husbands weren't capable of meeting their needs.

When the women I work with learn intimacy skills, it changes the way they see a previous marriage. Some women tell me that they realize they were married to a good guy, but divorced because they lacked the skills to have a happy relationship. Sometimes it causes them enormous grief.

It is heartbreaking to see marriages end because of a simple lack of skills. It's no different than seeing someone try to drive a car without a single lesson: A crash is inevitable, but it's preventable.

Remedy: Consider taking divorce off the table just for the next two weeks, keeping in mind that intimacy needs safety to thrive. In my experience, any woman who has a good guy can bring her marriage back from the brink of divorce and transform it into a happy, loving relationship by practicing the intimacy skills. You can do the same.

5. -Waiting for him to improve-

You might wonder why there's no article for men explaining what they can do to improve their marriages. Even if there was, you couldn't make your husband read it or do what it says. You can change yourself, and he will respond to you differently.

Remedy: Instead of pleading, criticizing or demanding that your husband change, try the remedies above for two weeks. To learn how, get the free 17-page e-book Six Lessons for Lasting Love at LauraDoyle.org

Some men just enjoy sex talk: Some men just enjoy sex talk cuz it excites them. It all goes bad is when they both go out of their way to meet up to actually go do the deed. They know its wrong but its excitement that they don't receive from you at home. I'm constantly bitching and yelling because he never shows me attention nor to my children. He's constantly on the phone and even punched me for going through it. I come to find out that he ends up hooking up with a coworker and a few friends; of mine who tried helping our relationship out. I'm not a dumbass and sometimes its best to just have family intervene or a professional psychologist or therapist rather than friends or coworkers. They should view both sides fairly and not just judge from what they are told. I am waay too good for the man I am in love with. I'm not perfect but he seen me as being quite close until bitches who were haters and ddnt like to see an actual couple do well and have the love they share for one another decided to intervene and pull some unecessary tests that has ruined our relationship. He is now a drug addict and just got introduced to it by some bitches I know ::cough cough:: u all kno who u are. Unfortunately he isn't as strong minded and strongwilled as I am to stop Nd understand when enough is enough. He resulted to his pain and anger by mentally and physically abusing me and leaving me bruises because he worried too much of what others thought of him. He is now a totally different person and I hope one dayhe will have the courage to be that once loving man he used to be.

Takes 2: It generally takes two people to get to a stage in a relationship where one partner feels so undervalued, lonely and bored that they decide to cheat. I believe that men are basically simple creatures and to keep us happy all you need to provide is food, sex and a little support. Constant rejection and criticism do not make men happy. I gave up trying to please my wife, I do now however please other women.

Hey i just would like someone: Hey i just would like someone honest opinion please!!

I am 23 years old my fiance is 25, we have been together since i was 15, we make 8 years weve been together in april 2013, he was a vigin when i met him and i took his virginity. We have a 3 year old daughter together.

We also have been living together for almost 4 years now! And i find our sex life is wonderdul!!
Well:

I just found out he had sex with a girl hes been having as a friend since we met. And yes she knew we were together, shes older then me like in her late 30s, this happened in 2010, and im just finding out about it now through an old phone he had and never deleted the messages, i confronted him about it and he told me that they did try an have sex but she couldnt get it hard and that is was his worst mistake he ever made in his life!! I love this man with everything i have but it broke my heart soo bad to find this out and being that he kept this from me for over 2 years!! Im really lost and confused.
could this have been that he was just curious cuz hes never slept with anyone else before(r tried to) or should i be worried that hell cheat on me agian?
He is the only person ive ever really truely loved!! And he apologizes everyday for hurting me like he did and that he feels horrible!!,
I wana fogive him i really doo But my heart is still soo broken and i cant stop thinkn about him cheating on me esp when i know the women:/ and i really dont know what to do
Someone please help me and give me advise please
I just want my relationship back like it was before all this has happened:(

Did He Cheat Again : I am 35 years old now but have been with my husband since I was 21 and I had fallen in love with him because he took my children and I as what family members would call "immediate family". I didn't want any kind of relationship with him other than a friendship because I knew raising children at such a young age is not easy and I in no way wanted to put that on anyone. We became friends and later introduced him to my boys who as friends he would go to the park and do all kinds of kid friendly outing with us. He truly seemed to care for my young babies and showed the oldest how to skate,fly a kite etc. he was respectful and maintained a clean friendship relationship.
We did start dating after over 6 months of friendship with my boys and I. I always felt he had a good loving heart and felt he was God sent. That's why everything that has happened after I allowed him in my life and my boys lives has been so painful for me.
He was cheating on me from the very beginning and when he was caught he would never admit it he would just make excuses.When we were dating his excuse for cheating and lying was that we were not married so that's why it wasn't such a big deal. When we were engaged he had the same excuse saying that nothing was official. I do want to mention that he would always promise he would change and never hurt me again but if anyone reading this knows anything about a guy that cheats and lies they always do it again.
I feel he hurt me so much because he never loved me he just saw me as an easier way of life even though I has kids I was well established with 2 cars , nice apartment in a beautiful neighborhood,financially secure,my apartment was fully furnished with almost new everything. He on the other hand lived in an unfurnished humble apartment and had no license let alone even own a car.He really had nothing of his own so I am sadly realizing that he used me and used my children to get into my heart even though he knew it would take a long time due to me being overprotective. His mom also used to when she moved into his apartment by asking for money and to use my cars, going to my home and taking things out to use that they needed. I am realizing I was so young and naive that I didn't see they using me in front of my eyes and I am always so giving and love to help people that I didn't want to see it that way. There is so much to this story that i can't even explain the horrible lies and things that were done in the past that I can't seem to erase and I wish I could because I love him(not what he has done).
Sorry for all the additional I kinda got of course with all my ranting so let me ask about what has recently happened.
He works for a mortgage company and he tells me he can't text or get calls from me on his phone because he can get written up.He tells me he turns it off while he is at work and turns it on when he leaves for lunch etc. Our anniversary was this past Sept 1st and I literally had notices a while back that he would be jumpy about me touching his phone and he would spend a lot of time on the phone. When I would ask why are you on there so much he would say just checking Facebook. On the day before our anniversary I saw many text messages on his phone to two different girls and some of the text messages has picture messages with attached comments that had sexual reference. I didn't feel that it was appropriate to send messages back and forth that have anything sexual ,even if their pre made picture messages that they would find and send each other just because they thought to be funny(so he tells me). I told him its inappropriate for you to be texting these girls and especially the one that just got divorced at all time of the day. he had previously lies and said they were group messages send back and forth between their work group about work related rants. He lied because the bill showed they would text during work all day long and after work all the way till 12 midnight. he did lie about all of that and the largest texting occurred between my husband and the divorced women at his job. I told my husband the day before out anniversary that I founf sexual type messages inappropriate between him and another woman and that I no longer wanted him texting her as it made me uncomfortable due to how much they texted and how late which showed it wasn't work messages only at work within the work group and work related as at 10pm I cant see how your still talking about work.He refused and called me crazy , i was shocked because if she wasn't a big deal he should have said okay no problem. He refused to stop and we got in a big fight. The next day after a really bad anniversary he said fine he now saw it my way and understood so it wouldn't happen again.Needless to say he lied and continued texting her during one of our kids birthday outing and dinner and many other events,she was even added to out Facebook account which I had no idea( i didn't realize because I didn't know who she was). He wouldn't spend time with our kids and me and would disappear to other rooms alone and never wanted to just spend time with me because he wanted time alone to text her all day and all night. when I told him I knew he was still texting her he denied it and said I was an Idiot and I didnt know what I was talking about and locked me out of my own room. I told him I saw the messages on his phone the day he forgot to erase them and he was still saying I was crazy and didnt know what I was saying. When I showed him the proof from the phone bill a couple weeks later he was trying to say the bill was wrong. I told him I feel you are cheating on me ,lying to me, not respecting me as your wife, he still called me crazy...Then he said that I was mothering him trying to tell him what to do so he didnt listen and thats why he kept doing it. He said he never liked this girl anyother way that she is just like one of the guys and that its nothing.
I told him if it was nothing he would not have treated me so bad and lie about not doing it. He to this day claims he did nothing wrong , that all he did is continue texting because I was trying to tell him he could not text and that is stupid to him.
He knew the reason but he lied to me and said he understood and would stop , he had promised.. i was looking at the phone bill today ending 11/14/12 and there are still text messages showing from her recived by him through 11/14and messages he send to her
in Oct through Nov , our anniversary was 9/1/12 and he promised it was all done and that she would no longer text him or he text her.. he hasn't to this day blocked her number like I requested as he lied and said he didn't know how.
I am so upset because why is this such a big deal if he claims she like one of the guys and has promised many times he was not texting and then that it would stop,,IDK what to do or how to handle it properly. He even called her while i was in the bathroom of a restaurant and when I caught up with him turned out he was on the phone with her on our dinner night out (we were trying to patch thing up) I feel so disrespected and unimportant but mostly hurt that someone that I have been with for over 15 years can treat someone he knows about 6 months or so better than me and can't just say baby if it bothers you its not worth it so im pressing delet on the number.thats how I thought it would go when I said I was uncomfortable with the situation. In my life he is always first and I find it sad that I have been shown by his actions that I am far from 1st on his list.

Sorry so long but if someone actually read this can you please tell me what you think ? Did he cheat on me or is it about a power struggle.. i think I want to hope it's nothing bad but deep inside my gut feeling says it's something even worse :-(

What can I do: I've been married for 9 years and as we had argue about him txt co-workers in the past. Now I found out my husband has been text with a female co-worker for days non stop and sending pic messages and talking for hours when I'm not home. I confronted him and yet he said it was nothing,it didn't ment anything and that they are just friends. I call her and she flatly denied been her number and txt my husband as I called her by her name. It turns out that it was her and now I don't know if I should believe my husband or to go with my gut feeling. I don't know what they talked about as my husband can't seem to remeber what their conversations were about. what can I do?

My husband and I have been: My husband and I have been married for a year in a half now. We argued thursday and He supposedly went to his friends house and drink till two am! So Friday I worked sixteen hours, drove an hour in a half home, and he picks a fight because I didn't say hey babe I love you or anything! I was just so tired I wasn't thinking! The argument ended with him sleeping in the living room all night. I truly think he was texting some slut! The next morning he doesnt say two words and stays in the living room till like 12 o clock, then he comes in the room looking pitiful and says I'm going to the hospital my back hurts, so he wanted the car keys. I gave it to him and he stands by the dresser and starts literally crying tears! Keep in mind he never crys, and I've never seen him cry tears from pain lmao, so I say oh come on because I can see his dramatic play to leave the house! So he crys more and plays the victim by saying you don't love me, and I just wanna be with someone that's gonna love me! I can see you don't care about me, as he storms out after showing tears! I know it was just a way to leave and cheat lol. If his back pain was that bad that he cried he wouldn't be able to move much lmao!!!! In getting a divorce before I get hurt! It's not worth it! I mean he's been gone for three hours now, and not once would answer his phone! He wasn't with his friends, do if he comes back with no proof of being in a hospital god knows I'm going with the next guy I meat ASAP, sending him a tape with divorce papers! If this doesn't sound like he's cheating than I don't know what It looks like

Ladies have feelings too not just some men who do shit : You are a sick SOB that is what you are . Must be a man they are all the F******same. Get a life go to church and repent for putting God Last. you P****

First thing I would like to: First thing I would like to say is.... I'm sorry if you HAVE been faithful to your wife and you have been being abused and accused. She has her own issues then, I suggest you seek couples counseling, so that there is a mediator there so you may speak your true feelings. a counselor will he able to help explain what feelings are your true feelings due to men never show them. Re-assurance and comfort is what she needs. On the other hand... Nine time out of ten, most of the women who finally start calling men out on what their actions are speaking to her, she is already at her wits end and does no how else to react at this point. You see... women are a product of their surrounds. If they have been in a relationship for awhile, and something happened a few yrs into the relationship, it was the first time, she forgives, and its never brought up again, (due to feelings of humiliation, pain, stupidity and anger) so.. she let's go of it. But in the meantime, the red flags have been thrown a few more times here and there, and they have built up. He has given her a reason in the first place to make her feel threatened again. If the relationship was all good then all of the sudden she starts accusing you, then either the guy had given reason for her to not to trust him at one point or another,or she is doing something wrong herself. Women don't like pain, humiliation,fear, or to look like a total dummy. We want to believe that our man loves us so much, that he would never cheat on us. How painfully embarrassing,and humiliating to find out otherwise. We don't accuse just for no reason, (with some exceptions of women, that's the only thing they know how to do, is bitch) anyway ... we don't like looking like a clown,or stupid, so unless we have a good reason to all of the sudden but ourselves out on blast as to how gullibly blind and stupid we are of the fact that we are being lied to, looking Like a fool, we aren't going to start the loud speaker just yet. Because ,love makes you do stupid s**t ... and it uses a lot of extra energy to do these dumb things. So we tend to shy away from being the crazy lady of the year. So please step back and check yourself before you go saying that she accuses you for no reason at all. because if you have messed up once in the past, remember, you commuted the.ultimate betrayal, she had trusted her feelings, emotions,and her true self to you. and you betrayed her. even though we forgive the first time, we always have that feeling stuck in the back of our heads. you never mentally forget the pain, warning signs, and most of all fear of it happening again. we don't like to question whether or not we can trust our spouses with our true self. our well being, our feelings, and maybe our safety. Because you have compromised this already. Who knows what horrible things you have told the other woman her. ( not you personally,taking in gen) and or other people. So now she has become defensive,and questions anything you or anyone else says to her. its very sad to see women going through this if you have been there. Because it hurts. So please.. before you start trying to take.the attention off of you by putting her on blast for her actions, or should I say "Reactions" (because her reactions are a direct result of your actions) think about her feelings, and how bad this would hurt if it was you. I can honestly say...."YES.. there are some men out there that would rather die then cheat on their wife, or hurt her in any kind of way. There are men whom have never entertained even the.thought of cheating. I commend them. These are the good men that are hard to find. please be kind to women. We love being loved and protected. its in OUR nature.

Cheating husband: I have beeen with this man for 58 years. We were high school sweet hearts. My first an only love. I thought he was cheating on me but kept myself so busy to escape. I went through menopause and lost my sex drive. He who didn't wear his wedding band and had a vecectomy went off with a customer to her home maybe in her own husbands bed!!! They were lonely!!!!I had told him once after we mad love I would never let him touch me if he had sex with another woman. I don't know why I said it. But after a while he stopped touching me. I know I avoided his advances but I didn't know I was wrong at the time. He (as all men do) blames me. Why didn't I ask my Mother! She had passed away. Or friends! He had taught me everything If he really loved me as he claimes he does; why would he not help me. Instead he went off with his homewreaker whore. I want to know who this woman was. I want her to feel my terrible pain. Why am I the one to be punished. Every night I think of him lying with this woman making love..He does not how to just have sex. I was a beautiful woman, I had men after me all the time. But I loved this man on hello. And I am is so much pain. I have been told my my children and two friends move on. I can't. He was always nice to me but stopped taking me anywhere and never touched me and moved down stairs (blamed it on his health.) He is now crippled with arthritis. Any man I know who has cheated on his wife is either dead or very sick. Irronic isn't it. She had him when he was handsome verile and younger. I am left with a sick old man. Where is she to take care of him. I want to know who this whore is. Any married woman who sleeps with a married man and destroys his wife is a whore. I am beyond hurt and pain and don't know how to recover. My life is destroyed.

Your experience very closely: Your experience very closely mirrors my own. My cheater became very protective of his phone, and then with spidey sense tingling, I came to discover his profile on a hookup site. When confronted, he denied knowledge and said a friend must've set it up as a twisted joke. When I showed him the evidence (he'd taken the pic himself), he reacted with anger and said he just did it "for laughs" and without intention to meet anyone (even though his e-mail address is listed - in chunks - on the profile). He said he wasn't aware of any more profiles on hookup sites. He then changed his passwords (to e-mail and social media profiles - we'd been open before), saying I'd drive myself crazy otherwise . . . all the while swearing up and down that he wasn't an active participant in any discretion.

I then frantically searched phone records and came across several instances where he'd participate in volleys of text message sessions (with pics shared) with phone numbers that would only appear on that day.

I asked him to attend counseling with me to attack what was happening (at this point - under the illusion that he hadn't committed infidelity), to strengthen trust, and he flat-out refused.

Long story short: I found another hookup profile a couple months later (it was created in the same time-frame as the other; he'd said there were no others in existence), that he'd accessed just the day prior.

I found out my husband has: I found out my husband has been cheating three months ago. He left his email account open on my laptop at the hospital, the day after I gave birth to our son and he got an instant message from a woman saying "hey sexy, you at work yet? Message me back I need your smex". Since then, I have found five of his profiles on online adult datimg websites, 3 email accounts he has kept hidden from me, two aliases he goes under, a skype account I didn't know he had and over 150 various women that he has had online affairs with. Some of these women live near us, and he works the night shift alone as a security guard, so I believe he has even had affairs off the computer as well. I have confronted him three times in the last month, but, he denies it, acts shocked that I don't trust him, lies and tells me an ex girlfriend from ten yrs ago created one profile as revenge or he accuses me of creating these accounts to blackmail him or to have a reason to be mad at him. I guess now I know why he would always snap on me and verbally abuse me every couple of months.

Absolutely right, I am a: Absolutely right, I am a woman and we need to look into our own relationships and think if there is something missing to make the husband/boyfriend want to cheat. People need physical intimacy and if there is none, men and women will go looking for it somewhere else.......just saying

Re- men suck: Hun don't blame this on yourself. It takes two to make it work. He wasn't helpin to begin with, then it wasn't ment to be in the first place. I hope everything goes ok for you! Keep your chin up high and always remember that momma is always right there's always more fish in that dang ole sea!!!!

Re-I was fooled: Sorry this happend, but the ugly truth is once a cheat always a cheat if it's not now it will be later on! Keep your eyes open and your heart strong! Hope u well! Men or women that Cheat should feel the same pain back 10 times worse!

is husband cheating: My comments to you may seem a bit rude and blunt but that is exactly what you need to hear.
25 years and no sex for 9!
Are you crazy or just plain stupid?
Who cares if he's cheating ( and he probably is), get rid of him. Ask yourself, "Why is he with me"? Are you supporting him fianancially?
It must be easier for him to stay with you than to leave you. Sounds to me like you have made things to easy for him...What about your needs?
Leave him and get a life...

I was fooled: I was in my relationship for 12 years, since I was 15, and I didnt know him at all. I trusted him so fully that I never spied on him or doubted his word on his whereabouts or phone conversations. Well aparently he had a fake myspace for 3 years, where hes single, and looking for sex. He was using it on his computer at work. I found out because an old highschool friend of his had been in contact through this webpage, then ran into eachother one night, got drunk and had sex. Ill never know why she told me a year later, I wish she hadnt.
He was also talking and flirting with a few ex's on there, I broke in the page and read heart renching messages, and all kinds of other hurtfull, shocking information.

To make matters worse, the girl has been striping for 10+ years, and has done very hardcore porn. Shes also not very pretty. I dont get it.

Im trying to work it out for my kids, I do still love him. Just not the same way.
I dont get men, they always cheat under them. They could have it all, but still it happens.
I dont think my heart will ever heal, like im dead but still breathing.
If it happens again, kids or no kids im gone.

men suck : My BF of 25 years is cheating. I found the proof. It dates back to the earliest days of our relationship so basically he has cheated on me from day one. I had no clue. I was raised in an abusive/religious family and never had a concept of what to look for which made it real easy for him to get away with it. I'm permanently disabled now so what am I supposed to do? I have no money, can't work and we aren't married so no support. Some days I wish I would just die. It's horrible. I don't dare tell anyone because I don't want to be condemned and attacked.

MY HUSBAND IS A CON ARTIST: MY HUSBAND AND ME HAVE BEEN TOGETHER SINCE I WAS WEE YOUNG (12) IM VERY UPSET HE HAS LEFT ME THREE TIMES HE LEFT YESTERDAY AND PROFUSELY LEFT MY MOTHER WHO CAN NOT DRIVE IN A TOWN1 HOUR AWAY WITH NO HOPE OF GETTING HOME I WAS BLIND YOU SEE HE WAS USING A SITE CALLED CRAIGSLIST TO FIND WOMEN IN THE SAME TOWN MY MOTHER WAS ABANDONED IN . HE ALWAYS WAS THERE WAS KIND SHOWED NO SIGNS OF AN AFFAIR HE LET ME SEE HIS PHONE I HAD TO BREAK HIM FROM USING DRUGS WHICH I SUCCEEDED IN DOING SO HE WENT BACK TO HIS EX THE ONE WHO SUPPLIED HIM WITH THE DRUGS. IDK IF HE IS WITH HER OR NOT SHE SAYS IF H SHOWS UP HERE HES A DEAD MAN BUT THEY ALL SAY THAT RIGHT ? LESS THAN A WEEK PRIOR TOO HIM LEAVING HE PROPOSED TO E A SECOND TIME THE FIRST PROPOSAL WAS A PROMISE OF ETERNAL FFECTION AND LOVE THE SECOND WAS A ENGAGEMENT OUR ANNIVERSARY OF ONE YEAR WOULD HAVE BEEN THIS DECEMBER 24TH . ALL I CAN SAY IS FOR ALL YOU WOMEN OUT THERE I FEEL FOR YOU AND I WISH YOU THE BEST IN FINDING ETERNAL HAPPINESS BUT DONT FORGET THIS THEY MAY HAVE THOUGHT THEY WON BUT WE DID THEY LOST THE BEST WE GAINED STRENGTH AND HOPE AND A TOUCH OF INDIVIDUALITY. GO GIRLSSSS!!!!!!! P.S IF YOU READ THIS AND YOU HAPPEN TO BE MY HUBAND JUST KNOW THIS I LOVE YOU I ALWAYS HAVE ALWAYS WILL NO MATTER WHAT BUT UNTIL YOU BECOME THE MAN I KNOW YOU TOO BE I CAN GO ALONG WITH THIS BUT ANYTIME YOU CHANGE AND WANT YOUR LIFE BACK WITH ME AND CAN SHOW ME YOU AND ME ARE WILLING TO WORK OUT OUR PROBLEMS IM HERE FOR LIFE TILL THE DAY I DIE I PROMISE I LOVE U JLC I HOPE U FIND HAPPINESS PLEASE BE CARFEUL AND BEST WISHES BEBK.<3

If he's not cheating, he's wishing he could: I first need to say I'm disabled. I didn't start out this way although we both knew at the time we married that I was sick and it would progress. This has taken a huge toll on both of us.

Anything I say, no matter how I say it, is criticized by him. He constantly insults me, and gets angry when I try to do anything that isn't in a pity me fashion. He stays up late on the computer, with multiple porn sites that he frequents. And, here it is. He's a closet cross dresser. I also knew this when I married him but believed then that if it was kept between us, it would be ok. WRONG. In the past, I caught him having a flirtatious online thing with another x-dresser. I demanded he stop. He promised he would there were tears...blah fing blah.

Last night we got in a huge fight because I was dealing with our son when he apparently already had and I guess he was mad because it was like I went over his head or something. Anyway, I did what I know I shouldn't do. I went on his computer after he left for work this morning. Tons of recent porn sites, a option for "private browsing" open, all his pw for his email and messenger changed, and his own written story about him with a tranny that he just wrote last month.

I changed the pw on his computer. Not trying to be vengeful. I just want answers. Am I going overboard here?

bull (my husband is loving and cheating): U don't need that man. That is the problem woman these day. We depend our husband too much. U are a woman scored with no renup. He don't want u to leave cause he kow that u wikl take him to the bank. I have been married for a year now and I feel that my husband is cheating and I am planning on leaving. He don't apprecate me and awalys want me to stroke his ego. Am 41 and he's 51. I have my own bank account and I don't ask for any finicial help, so when I leave I don't have to worry about it. We don't have sex, he don't get an arection and the lil blue pills don't wk' ne don't try' but all man get horny and make love every now and them. If I wanted I could've cheated, but that is not what I want. I want my husband cause I love him but it gets hard at time. The decision is urs to say, But remember to alway put ur self first and u have nothing to lose.

My husband is loving and a cheater: My husband is very good in playing a role as husband. He all the time take me out for a dinner n movie. When i say all the time i mean like 4-6 times a week. Sometimes whole week we have romantic out. And i found out he have a website. Guess what website? An escort site. He create a website advertisr himself as a fantastic escort for girls. This website was open since 2000 n i just found out last year. We have been married for few months now n have been living together since 2009 n got married this year. When i found out that he got this site he never admit saying this site not belong to him. No proof this belong to him. No pic bla bla. I told him i know this him pls stop n i forget about it. He never admit n keep deny it. This happened last year a year ago when i first knew about it n confront him. Then 2 weeks ago boom i caught him meeting a women who ask for escort service from him. It sex service of coz. I found out by instint at first n confront him..of voz he denied..then i ask give me ur phone n he did. Guess what he didnt earse the email on his cell it was there a msg asking for him through his website. This time he coudnt deny of coz. I ask for divorce direct. He said no give me chance bla bla..he said it was only massage. I laugh coz i know he couldnt massage to save his life..i know he like sex so much n he create the site coz this is perfect. Horny women looking to get laid n pay for it. He didnt have to look one. They will look for him. He got his stable n loving wife n he got extra sex from a confirmed horny ladies. Disgusting yeah. . He is still my husband niw but hey it s just 2 weeks since that caught day..i didnt gave sex with him sonce n he make sure he spend 22 hrs a day with me. I dont trust him. ..i wanna leave him but i am fully dependent financially on him as its been years since iwork..i have good life with him as he have his own biz n we dobt have to go work out that s why we have time at home n he have many luxury hrspls to spend on his hobby as an escort i guess.

Ps:pls excuse the typing error as i type from my cellphone n not good with touch screen keypad.

Ugh......: I think my dad is cheating. I realised that hes texting more and he never texts. He also said he is going out to tennis often. I picked up his phone (cuz thts what i normally do) and he literally screamed at me. I said i was using it for pictures, he literally followed me to watch me take pictures...... he said he was coming back and i jumped in his text messages because i saw them when i picked up his phone and i scrolled throught see stuff "like babe" and "coming home to you babe" and he also uses the comp. late at night.... WHAT TO DO?!?!?!?! My parents are also pastors :(

He might be both.. find out! When I was there I found the truth!: There is no better ammo than knowledge. I used to listen to my husband tell me I'm crazy for not trusting him. After awhile I actually started to question myself. It wasn't until I hired TestmyTrust that I knew for sure how he was acting behind my back. They are this company I found that actually went out and tested my husband.. it was like being a fly on the wall when he had no idea I would find out. TestmyTrust gave me the knowledge and the confidence to face the truth about my relationship. That's something I don't know if I could've done otherwise. I have recommended them since to everyone because as I was saying.. knowledge is power. The worse thing is to have doubts, not know, feel paranoid, and be made to feel like you are at fault for feeling this way. Well I found out I wasn't crazy at least. I want to tell you that a lot of times men are not doing anything wrong when they aren't around... but for me it was good to find out. If I had found out he was a stand up guy behind my back it still would have been worth the money... just a happier ending. Good luck! Give them a try.

Confuzzled, since you asked: Confuzzled, since you asked for advice I'll give it ... you have admitted you've been stuck in this vicious cycle for YEARS now. Sorry to hear that, but I honesty think you should leave. Life is very short and remember ... it gets much harder to leave as you get older.

You sound as though you are still relatively young, meaning under 50 years old. Do you want this torment for another few decades? You'll go crazy. Here's the way I see it: Anyone can make one mistake. Both men and women can "slip up" during the course of a long term marriage, it happens. Often couples can get through that one infidelity and come out stronger providing it was an isolated incident and the trust can be rebuilt.

It sounds as though your husband has been a chronic-type of cheater, meaning more than once. Obviously, your trust with him has been destroyed and doesn't sound as though its been rebuilt yet or even can be.

Breaking up -- getting back together -- breaking up -- divorce papers -- thinking he's being faithful -- then unfaithful ... whew, it makes me tired thinking about it and I'm only behind the computer screen here. What an emotional roller coaster. You deserve better. I think every good, faithful wife deserves to lie in bed with a man - her husband - and have trust that he will honor and cherish HER body, and treat it with respect, not expose it to the harm of disease, etc.

Ladies, women are built with: Ladies, women are built with wonderful "intuition" centers - our gut. They are usually not wrong. If you suspect your husband is cheating, he most likely is. If you have always been a very paranoid person and one to easily jump the gun, well, then step back and realize maybe, just maybe, you are being paranoid.

I was married to a cheater. He loved me very much at one point and we had wonderful physical passion. We were both young, healthy. So the BIG SIGNAL: He stopped wanting or having sex with me. I had to practically beg him to touch me. If your otherwise normal, active sex life with your partner goes from 10 to 0 in a short period of time - and there's no physical sickness that been diagnosed - chances are he's cheating.

I would never, ever stay with a cheating partner and it's not just because of my ego. It's not healthy, very scary what he can bring home. Decades ago, women used to turn a blind eye more often and think if he was a good provider, a good husband, his little flings wouldn't matter. Well, they matter now -- think herpes and HIV ... life threatening. A marriage should be a SAFE place to be in, you are trusting your partner with your body. A cheating spouse has blatant disregard for his health and yours. Even if a man claims he used protection, do you really know? Don't take a chance on your life.

Faithful, or unfaithful?: Thank you i am 27 female my husband has lied to me alot and looked at porn when i was pregnant and has came home mad a couple times and wouldnt tell me what was wrong other than work problems he doesnt seem happy sometimes and deff not like he was in the beginning. So from a faithful man to his wife from your point of veiw on what ive said do you think its possible he MIGHT have been unfaithful at one point or another? My last marriage ended because he was unfaithful, and i dont accuse my husband of cheating hes always been nice and a good father and hes 10 years older than me we only have sex if i want to or if its been a week or two for him. Please help me i love my husband and have always trusted him until he lied.

my reply: first off, i am so sorry that you are going through this situation. i dont doubt that you luv your husband, but i think you should really consider time without him. i kan only imagine attempts to be with him sexually and thinking about him being with that asian dog-faced bitch! maybe you should konsider separation for some time and if you feel that you kan forgive him and move on, then do so. if not, then continue on without him. if you choose to be with him, then set a certain date (totalling 7 days) that will be the last day for you to mention his affair and you have to stikk to it. on the 8th day, think differently by kontrolling your thoughts and dont allow them to kontrol you. think thoughts of moving on and restoring the luv and trust in yalls relationship, if he is on the same page of kourse. wishing you wellness, healing, and restoration!

So you're saying only white: So you're saying only white men cheat on white woman? You are an idiot. This entire page is ridiculous. If you even think you need to bug phones add spyware to computers or hire a PI , your relationship has already ended. Put your big girl panties on either get a divorce, or shut up. Good men don't need their wives reading your completely made up list of " signs" . It makes them paranoid if their husband wants to play angry birds while he takes a duece. Sorry you married a d-bag, but stop trying to make everyone else one too.

Is he too friendly or is he really cheating?? : I have been married for almost 9 years....I feel that my husband is up to no good! I have had to deal with some text message issues. The problem is that he when I saw the messages I soke to the women and they say the same thing "oh my god it wasn't meant for him". My second problem is he doesn't have the time! He is at work all day and then he comes home. I work shift work so some nights I am not at home but my kids would tell me if he went out. Oh and the women are not even attractive. I am so confused. I feel like he is cheating but I also feel like where could he possibly find the time. Help!!

My husband feels the same: My husband feels the same way, tired of me accusing him that is. We have been married for almost 2 years and hes has hurt me in the past. Trust is a big issue. Ive never caught him cheating but when we go out in public he stares at other women and thinks I am just starting a fight, no its called respect. I'm not a super model but very secure w my looks and take very good care of myself. In fact, I have had men, married, single, young and old try to get my attention and I am in love w my husband so they don't phase me.
now when my husband and I started dating up until we married we were intimate 3/4 times a day. He blames his medication for our sex life but yet buys magazines w half naked women, looks up all the whores on his phone through you tube but cant satisfy his wife. Its down to 2 sometimes 3 times a week if I'm lucky. No passion, its almost like why bother.
We don't have kids together, I have 2 from a previous relationship and he has 2 from previous relationships. The time we get alone time he has no motivation. He doesn't work, I do. After a long day at work I come home, cook him dinner and that's it. Sex is on his time and because he is 8 years older than me, I feel like I'm losing out on the best time of my years.
He lies about stupid things which is a big factor of my suspicions. I'm tired and my head has no free space for all this bs that I'm dealing w.
So do you think I'm crazy?

She has more likely been: She has more likely been cheated onion the past. Look her in the eyes and tell her she is the only one for you. Take her out on dates and listen. What she is doing is projecting her insecurity in you and the relationship. Something in her and you are not reaching her heart.

husband: well my husband and i are at a critical point. I have a hard time trusting him and for very good reasons. He cannot keep anything i say to himself. No matter what it is he HAS to tell family, friends, coworkers. Awhile ago i found out he was lying to me about going to strip clubs and about cruising online porn. All of these actions really cause resentment for me. Today i found out he was lying to a friend about the amount of times we had sex and the friend told him to get a "f*" buddy. this same friend has ceheated on his wife numerous times. I get several phone calls a week from restricted #'s telling me that I should have sex with my husband more or i should appreciate him more. Early in our marriage my husnabnd wrote nasty letters to me only he pretened to be another woman. he also sent himself pictures of naked women and told me they were form some woman who was after him. I hired a private investigator to help me figure this out. Now I ahve to deal with him telling me I need to have sex with him more often or he is leaving. He says I never initiate it or that its never spontaneous. Does he seriously think that all his past actions have no bearing on how i feel. He is planning to meet the friend that is a "cheater" for a weekend getaway for the "boys". I know that the "cheating" friend has put my husband back in touch with one of his old girlfriends. I am at a loss. do I say something. and the kicker-tonight he says "i wish you would make love to me more". Get real

me and my husband have not: me and my husband have not even been married 2 years yet and I think he may be cheating or just tired of me one of the two he's not happy thats for sure. Before we got married we were only together for 8 months we talked about marriage in the years to come and even made some not set in stone plans when i got pregnant. because of the pregnancy we got married sooner and I'm not sure he was ready for marriage ... and now we have almost completly stopped any romance what so ever even setting next to each other. If i move by him he moves to another seat. He spends excesive amount of time on his phone and he hasn't been home at all latley he always has excuses this friend or that friend asked him to go fishing or hunting etc. I don't know if he's really going or not I assume so but he doesn't get home till early in the morning like 2 or 3. it scares me but he could just be avoiding me either way I don't think this is good any advice

That's really overboard. : That's really overboard. However, my husband no longer wants to have sex with me & his affection is gone. He's never been a real big affectionate person, he wasn't raised that way, but now he won't even hug or kiss me. There are times he comes straight home & brushes his teeth (which could mean he is drinking again). Tonight he comes home from some buddies & takes a shower then brushes his teeth. To me, it's just suspicious.

I'm sorry : Everything u wrote describes my personality! And my hubby has gotten violent with me because of my jealousy issues and he is real faithful and never found anything weird this 5 years. I live in a fantasy thy seems real but I know sooner or later all men will cheat including him. Good luck !

reply: Sounds just like how my almost ex-husband! i found out the hard way there are two types of affairs. Physical and emotional. Get into counseling ASAP. Stay in his face. I didnt and now its divorce time. I should have kicked him our or packed my bags at the first sign. the book "love must be tough" is a good place to start. Dont turn a blind eye and"hope" it goes away. it just gets worse. I would already be thru the divorce if I had just spoke up sooner. Get that phone. Get one that looks like it if he puts it on a charger. if the phone is a phone with yours and his together go online or call and get a detailed phone bill. I did. the whole thing hurts we have a child together too. i would have never imagined my husband would do this either.

He wont stop seeing her so I have no choice. Dont let him have his cake and eat it too. While you wash his clothes, etc she's getting the "kicks and giggles " as i call it . Some men just cant be faithful. Thier ego is too big. it has to be fed. I wish ou luck. Get help dont go it alone. DO NOT WAIT! I am sorting thru our belongings, filing papers etc . He"s hardly saying a thing. he keeps texting and seeing her though!!!

It sounds odd. I suppose: It sounds odd. I suppose it's possible she is having issues with her husband and turning to his father for support. However, I have to say that the bigger issue here is that your DH hasn't touched you for nine years and gives you no affection? After the first six months barring something going on that's terrible in his life (death, depression, dismemberment) I would have served him divorce papers. This is not a marriage an no woman should ever have to beg for love and affection.

Sick of being accused.: I have been with my wife for almost 5 years and going on our 4th year of marriage. She is CONSTANTLY accusing me of cheating when I have been completely faithful and am violently opposed to infidelity. She becomes obsessed with the idea after reading web pages like this. This page makes it seem like ANYTHING a man does or does not do is suspicious. If a man is nice to his woman....that's suspicious. If he is not nice to his woman....thats suspicious too. If he suddenly wants to improve his hygiene and dress.....thats suspicious. Sometimes a man may just get tired of being unkempt and looking bad and may want to improve himself. My wife reads things like this and she thinks I start arguments so that I can leave. The truth is she ticks me off when she acts suspicious of me and accuses me of things and I get extremely angry at times. Then she TELLS me to leave forcibly and I linger for a while until her abusive behavior becomes intolerable and I feel the rage in me boiling to a point where I could get violent. I have never hit my wife but at times I sure have felt like it. Thats when I get away from her for her own safety and to keep myself out of jail. My wife will hardly ever even kiss me because she thinks Ive been with other women. Her suspiciousnes is absurd and based on an unreality. But its real to her. She treats me like I am this horrible person. Our relationship is completely disfunctional. She hates my sister and has accused me of incest with my own sister even though I had very little to do with my sister in the beginning of our relationship and now I have nothing at all to do with my sister. Its weird....my sister was the one who got my wife and I together. If my brother wants to sell me something he isnt using anymore my wife gets mad if I buy it for fear it may help my brother. I am not allowed to do anything that will in any way benefit my relatives because she thinks I should invest ALL resources in her. There is no room for anyone else.....ever. I can not have any friends. I was spending time with a friend of mine and she started accusing me of having a homosexual fling with my friend and even though I dont hang around anyone anymore she still accuses me of such things. My word of advice for people would be to trust your spouse and NEVER accuse them of being unfaithful unless you have 100 percent solid proof. If and when you KNOW they are cheating THEN confront them about it. Dont try to look for tale tale signs and then treat your spouse bad because you THINK they MIGHT be cheating. That will destroy what could otherwise be a very good relationship. And no matter what signs you may think you see there are always more than one explanation for them so if you conclude something negative you could very likely be way off.

28 years is a long time!: 28 years is a long time. I would at least go to counseling to see what can be done, if anything. Usually counseling will help you both at least figure out what you want and how to make that happen. I would not trust that the affair is over. Trust will take a long time to regain, but if you really both want to stay together and he was committed for the rest of the time during the relationship, there is hope. Good luck to you.

I would file for divorce. He: I would file for divorce. He already had his second chance and to give him a third chance creates a pattern. There is no point in continuing the marriage. He does not respect you or want to be committed to you. You could - and will - do better.

Is husband cheating: I have been married 25 years, and the last nine he has not touched me, I have to ask for a kiss, which I no longer do, he is lways on the phone or with his daighter-in-law, I work 5 days a week, quite a distance from home, I have been told she is at our house or he is at hers, this has been going on for about 2 years, if I say anything I am being stupid, he says he would not do anything like that to his son, yet she calls him or he calls her 10 times or more a day, and they see each other several times a day, am I wrong to think something is wrong here?

Phone with him in the toilet: If he's like teen-agers who bring their phones inside while using the toilet to listen to music , well that's ok, but, if he's not then it looks like he must be in a relationship.
Observe more and if things become strange then I think you really need to talk to him privately, be honest with everything, and ask him what does he want with your marriage. Does he want to work it for a better relationship or does he want it to destroy...questions like these could help so he could think and may drop the other woman if he has. Try to have a calm conversation like having an office meeting - hold a pen and a paper and read to him what are the strange things that you have observed in his behavior. Then, write his reply, and check which are things that he denied, or yes or no. When you talk about it, just be sure that your emotions will not take you into like a monster, stay cool and whatever his answers will be, take them like a student's answer sheet. If emotions take place, most probably the conversation will turn out bad. Take care and stay cool.

good wife gone bad: Think I'm going to take after you. My husband treats me like shit. We've been married only almost 3 years, our daughter will be 3 in sept. I lost my job in february and he got job in february before I lost mine. He treats me like crap because I am unemployed. I took care of him and myself and baby for 4 years while he was unemployed. He beat the crap out of me like a week ago because I didn't fk him and followed him to bathroom b/c he took 4 hundred dollar phone I paid for to bathroom to watch porn. Have told him it is cheating on me in his heart, he is still doing it. He broke my finger, burned my arm by twisting it, choked me and I almot fell and busted my. Head on the toilet. I believe he is cheating, he shows me no affection and expects me to jump at moments notice, he doesn't pay any attention to our daughter, plays xbox from time he gets home from work til he passes out with game still on, then gets up and watches porn secretly on his phone in other room til he leaves for work. Found dating sites on his phone and craigslist personals section highlighted when I went there to look for jobs. He said he accidentally downloaded those, whatever. Gotta get a job and leave him. My shoes have holes in them, my feet literally touch concrete when. I go anywhere but he bought himself some new shoes just two weeks ago. He calls me a whore if I wear anything that actually fits me, even the pants I wear that are 7 sizes bigger than my body he says are too tight. I feel fat and ugly. Somone thought I was homeless and asked if they cld pray for me and if I needed money because I have to dress like a bum. He is so controlling. If he thinks I'm looking at some man on tv he freaks out but its okay for him to masturbatewhile watching other naked women. Wtf. I am so sick of this

he put cell phone down so i: he put cell phone down so i can see who been calling him I know that he is still cheater on me 54 year old I should be lol but i give thisman my heart and soul never will i every be a fool again love what is love I told him never to say that he love me again cause he will never have cheater on me if he love me

re: Unbelievable - Regaining Control (correction): Oops. I wrote " Each day I felt that I was truly content in our relationship I called myself "married." On days that I was (hurt), I called myself "single." Here's the clarification.... On the days I called myself single, I wasn't only feeling "hurt," it was that I was wasting my time in trying to continue, not happy with what I was getting out of the relationship, fed up of feeling lied to, frustrated with the lack of progress, feeling stuck in limbo for the sake of the family. That's what I felt on the days that I called myself "single."

re: Unbelievable - Regaining Control: I completely identified with your thought that "the one person I trusted and believed love me like no other, doesn't." After 20+ years and two children with my spouse, I too discovered he was cheating and I felt exhausted, lost and muddled. Now, 7 years later, I am on my own, much happier and saner for having moved on. I'm not here to advocate leaving but you give you back some control.

When women get cheated on or think they are being cheated on, there is an expectation on the husband to act a certain way in order to bring relief to your broken heart. There are a plethora of options from spend more time at home and make me a priority to therapy, open lines of communication or flat out give me total access to your phone/emails... and things that while you think will help, actually don't soothe your soul.

The problem you face now is that you don't know if you can trust him at work with "her" there. You aren't ready and having her at work everyday must be outside of your comfort zone. You want reassurances from him that this won't happen again, but the truth is that even if he gives them to you in writing, in tears, on his knees or in therapy, you will never really know. That trust has been broken. The ugly truth is you will never fully trust him in the same way again.

In truth what happens is that your expectations from him are marginalized. You learn that your salvation lies within yourself and not him. More important that what he thinks is what YOU think ...What do YOU want? Do YOU want him? Can YOU live in this new reality?

Every single person on the planet has a comfort zone and if you find that you are spending most of your life outside yours because your spouse is constantly stretching its limits, it may be time to call it quits...

During my time of uncertainty I made a daily contract with myself. Each day I felt that I was truly content in our relationship I called myself "married." On days that I was hurt, I called myself "single." I found that I ran a gamut of emotions over the course of the next year and I could see the pattern. I had increasingly more "single" days than married. I had my answer.

To Unbelievable: My heart breaks for you...After 18 years of marriage and 4 children; I too learned my husband had cheated on me. My advice to you would be listen to your gut; not your heart. Your a smart person, and he will make it seem as if you are the crazy, untrusting one. If he is truly sorry/broken you will feel it and know it. The fact he still works with her is ridiculous HE needs to make the moves and fix the situation and continuely prove to you that you can once again trust him; if he is unwilling, he is not sorry.
Unfortunately, I had to fall out of love with my husband and see him for what he really was a cheater and a liar and will always be one. To this day my heart breaks even with continual counseling; I doubt I will ever trust again. I wish I had better news for you, but the reality is most men won't change and will only put on a more cleaver front in order to deceive you.
Best of luck to you and your children....I'm so sorry.

tip: if he is getting phone calls, i bet he is also getting emails, and chatting put a key logger in your computer, ( google it, and u can find a bunch for free) get all his passwords and find out. btw there are ways to bug his phone too, but you will need put your hands on it for at least 5 minutes... I am sorry for you, this situation of your sucks too, because sometimes not knowing for sure is worse than knowing... hope all the best for you

my husband cheated, should I get even?: I been married for 7 years, have no kids, my husband got a new job, then when he started working in this place, he found a Ex girlfriend from college times working on the same building , At the time I didn't knew that this Chinese woman was his Ex or nothing, but the damn woman keep calling him in his cell phone almost daily, she is also married and have a kid. I got mad at him and said i didnt want this goddamn woman calling him all the time, specially because i work night shift and have to sleep, he use to works nights too at the time. I ended up meeting this woman, because he keeps forcing me saying she is a friend from work and that is very lonely, that I should get friends with her ( can u imagine )? when the woman saw me on the mall parking lot, she ran, and didn't comeback for a hour, I even laughed at time, I think she was intimidated and afraid of meeting me... what hurts is that she is ugly as a dog, and I really don't understand how ?! my husband started with the BS, saying I work too much and I am always busy, I am also getting a 2 degree. yes my career is very important to me, however i don't think I was neglecting him when all that happen, he swears he didn't slept with her, but i do not believe him, he says it was an "emotional affair" because she was a friend that "listened him " , yeah that I believe , plus the bed thing. I hacked his email, got all passwords and even recovered part of his yahoo chatting with that whore, got his old phone card also, recovered all data and confronted him to get the true, he confess that he had had lunch with that woman sometimes 2 x a week, and that he even got to her house, ( to see her kid)... how innocent.... buying that? Its been over a year since it happened, we went thru marriage counselors, which still didn't helped much cuz, I still fantasize hitting her with a truck, have no trust on him whatsoever, honest I am not even sure If I still love him anymore, I hate have sex with him because i keep thinking of her, it gives me stomachaches , I avoid to kiss him too , and the worst is that I am depressed, I feel like shit, I am aware I am still very attractive, however i look myself in the mirror and think I am crap, I feel like as if I were dead inside, I fake smiles, because I feel like i just can't be happy anymore, there no joy in nothing, not even in shopping new clothes or shoes. I am aware and afraid because I know I am becoming bitter, and nothing seems to help. I am still so mad, ( its been over a year) that I wonder if I go and cheat on him too, if it will make me feel better, alive like a woman again because with him I feel dead and disgusted.

i think my husband might be cheating..: it just recently started that my husband doesn't want sex anymore. usually everynight, he'll either ask me if i can give him oral or have sex but all of a sudden it just stops. and then he's been getting ingoing and outgoing calls that i've never seen before. the unknown calls have been going on since i had my daughter in March..now it's june. he always has his phone on him for some odd reason...even when he does and takes a shower he would take it with him...it's basically like he'll go to the grave with his phone!!!i dont know if he's cheating or not because in my head i feel like he is just because when we were dating he's lied, cheated on me. i feel like he's too smart for me because there's no way of me finding out, what if he's deleting numbers in his phone? ppl say, a cheater will always be a cheater...please help me..what should i do?

Is this happening again?!: I found out my husband was cheating on me 5 months after we got married. I found out by a receipt from Mother's Day. He bought us the same thing. After I found out it took a while but he agreed to never have contact gain. I forgave him and we moved on...or so I thought. I found out another 6 months that he never stopped. I left him again and again he promised to do right. I kicked him out Neil he was ready to come home and act right. After another 8 months we tried one more time. We went to counseling and started communicating more. Things seem to be going good for 10 months. I noticed today that he left his email up so I started going through it. I didn't think it was a big deal because I am now allowed to go through his phone whenever I want and his email is linked to his phone. I found old emails that really made my jaw drop. It proves he hasn't been honest about past vents. I felt the hurt and pain all over again. I texted him at work and told him what I found and h immediately got mad. I feel like we can't really move on because "His Truth" was all based on lies. Am I overreacting and should I let it go?

I was a devoted wife. I was: I was a devoted wife. I was young and hot. He treated me like hell. I cried. He looked at other women. Flirted with others. I cried. He emotionally abused me. I cried. He physically abused me. I cried. The second time he attacked me, I called 911 before he could break my phone again. I didn't press charges, but made out a report. Then I told him if he touched me again I would press charges for the past abuse and make a new report of abuse. He stopped being so violent. I have broken him down. He has cheated won't admit it. Spent money on other women while I was pregnant with his babies. Bought himself nice things all the time while I did without electricity and water. I told him I will leave and take all his money in the form of alimony and child support if he didn't put me on the account and let me manage money. That was ten years ago. I use an out of state bank so he can't get to the money easy.

I have a game I play now when he looks at other women called the coach bag game. If he looks at another woman while we are out, I get a new coach bag. A few weeks ago I got two in one week. Then I told him about my little game and laughed. I have torn this angry SOB apart slowly.

Before I began feeling this way I was trying to have a baby because he wanted another child, carried my baby for 38 weeks and he died two weeks from being born. I was crushed, I delivered a stillborn baby. I tried to get pregnant 6 months later and did. He cheated while I was sick and pregnant with this child. He strangled me and beat me up and I had the baby early. He threatened to leave me and take the baby from me. He would play keep away with my baby and torture me.

Now I am beautiful and skinny again. Men look. I wear designer perfume. I buy whatever I want. I have a collection of purses. The best camera that money can buy. I do the same for the children.

He promised our oldest an ipad for a year and traded with people until he got one. He gave it to the child then stole it back and pretended he didn't know what happened to it.

I got online and bought the child a brand new one and told him don't grow up to be like that _______. The child compares him to the men on the Steve Wilkos show. I am glad the child knows who he is, and doesn't want to be him.

I will continue to drive this dirty rotten scum into the ground and enjoy every minute of it. This a-hole messed with the wrong woman.

He flirted with a woman in a store a few months ago and told me I should not be so jealous. So I introduced him to my new texting friend and told him not to be so jealous. The rage. You wouldn't believe this was a man who has cheated for ten years with everything from internet porn to any woman willing on craigslist. He has literally preached to me about how immoral it is to send pictures of me to another man. His secret text are not immoral apparently. His secret internet life is fine by him, but mine is terrible.

I have spyware on all his computers. So I know exactly what is happening online from now on. It's called PC Pandora, great program, I have used it for years.

If I knew my man was going out to get laid with another woman, while he was sleeping I would paint a message on his ass for the other woman.

Why divorce the sorry sob's when you can stay and torture them?

I wanted to be a wife and mother. I liked cooking and cleaning. I liked being a wife. I supported his career fully, gave up mine for his. I gave him children. I gave him love. I did everything around the house. I tried to be the best woman I could be and he ran over me like a semi-truck. I've been married twice, first husband did the same thing.

Women who are good are not what men want. They want sleazy women. Women who are desperate. Women who are willing to lay down with them in a parking lot and cheat on their wives.

I was so depressed a year ago, I wouldn't look at myself in the mirror because I was convinced I was ugly. I posted my photo online and men went crazy over it. I am not ugly, he made me feel like I was. I've been hit on by MILF seekers, it's not my thing though.

My husband nearly killed me through years of abuse. It was slowly killing me. I was to the point I didn't buy clothes for myself unless they were falling off me from rot. He didn't like that either. Was always wanting me to fix myself up so he could brag about his beautiful wife to others, although he never says it to me, he brags to others, like I am a shiney penney.

My car motor blew up when we were first married and he abandoned my car. He bought himself a car, and tells me we can share it. I've been stuck at home for ten years. I have money stuck back for brand new car. Told me when he retires we can share car then too. His way of making sure the world never lays eyes on me. He drives me everywhere grocery store, shopping, dr. From this day forward he goes nowhere I go. I threw wedding band out window the 3rd time he laid his hands on me. As far as I am concerned I am no longer his wife.

Speaking of that, this dirt bag never divorced his last wife so we are not legally married. I called the courthouse and figured this out on my own, because one of his relatives spilled the beans. So I am literally not this _______'s wife. Isn't that great? He can say you are cheating on me, and I can say you are still married to someone else, so we are not legal. Talk about a tangled web he weaved.

The problem with us women who are victimized by these fools is that we stay hurt and they control us through the hurt. I don't love him anymore. That is the most dangerous wife to have. It's not about his well being anymore. It's about the comfort of kids and me and saving plenty of money for the future.

I am also secretly creating an income for myself. When I married this inhuman being, I was working. I had a stock account, savings, car, my own place, was doing very well on my own, I was 25. I had to sell stocks at loss to provide for the children. I slowly lost everything. It took years. So maybe it will take a few years to put myself on my feet but it will happen. Then I will have 0 reasons to be here.

I am currently saving for the kids college. He foams at the mouth over that money, like a sick dog. There is no judge in this country going to take a kids college savings and give it to him because he wants to blow it.
I like watching him foam over it though. He never cared enough to start an investment like that for his own children. Wants his nasty hands on the only decent thing he has ever been forced to do for his kids.

One day this sorry excuse of a human will wake up without wife and kids. He lives in his own reality unaware of what is coming, not caring what I think or do. Not wanting to know how I feel. That is a dangerous game when the other person you have manipulated wakes up from your nightmare. I hope he reads this one day.

Wow!your an ass! Why is it: Wow!your an ass! Why is it always the female that has to please the damn male. Even when women keep it interesting men still love to snoop. Maybe if you guys took better care of yourself then the female might be more interested in keeping you happy! I love myself to much to let a man drag me down. If you are miserable then get the heck out of the relationship. Even when there are children in the marrige believe me it will not make their lives any easier watching mom and dad fight. Even if you dont fight or argue children can still sense the distance between you. And as far as the non white male giving the caucasion female crap excuse. I have dated all types and believe it or not i had the worst luck with african american males and them holding down employment or taking responsibility for their actions. Caucasion men are just as bad for the lying, sneaking, and cheating as any other. See how i do it is Im definitely better than them at it. Dont do it while you are still in the relationship but break it off instead of living miserable. You have got to love yourself enough to say enough. Then when you do meet a guy your interested in dont run off to introduce him to your folks or kids. Have fun playing without becoming serious. Just play safe! For the life of me I cant figure out why folks want to be married. I love being single and i am middle aged at that. Friends with benefits makes alot more since. Prozac i guess is not for me and im not gonna let a man pull me down that bad. Confidence is number one! Men are so miserable about one thing.... not being able to conquer a strong willed female who is confident.... most men cheat on women who have low self esteems.... if they think they can walk over you then they will.... stand strong and proud.

cheating: is my husband cheating, some times back he changed his life style, he use to be very carefull with his looks before he left the housei.e staying long with the mirror, most of he time when we are at the house he use to put his phone on silent or voice mail and he could say he doesn't want friends to stress him till one day i got a message from a lady saying how he loves him. we quarreled for some time and he promised to change of which I forgave him. Last week as we were about to sleep his phone rung but he did not picked it but I saw the name which was saved in way that it was unisex , after he s;ept i decided to call the number but did not talk and the voice was for a lady saying that he was in a nearby pub and if my husband could go there. When I asked him his first response was that he was a guy after proofing to him he said that she was just a friend does it mean he hasn't changed, please help

Husband might be cheating: I think my husband might be cheating or maybe don't find me attractive any more, we been married 3 years I'm 34 weeks pregnant but he use to live being around me, always hold me in bed or move close to me, buy me stuff all the time... But he changed he doesn't hold me any more bought me my own iPhone cause I use to use his. He never mentioned he didn't like it. Just surprised me with it, we never have sex any more maybe it's cause I have a big belly I didn't gain a lot of weight I think I look pretty good but he makes me feel like I'm gross or something he use to want oral constantly now barely wants it. Idk what is going on maybe it's my emotions screwd up and TO DAY WAS ON THE PHONE IN THE CAR....... A couple times i tried to give him oral on my own he didn't want it I'm 21 he is 20, can some one please give me advice asap

it means he a f******: it means he a f****** cheater, and liar, and that hes screwing someone else, because hes clearly "getting bored" its the old cow new cow thing... A bull only sleeps with the same cow ONCE and then goes off to find something new... thats ur man!

IS MY HUSBAND CHEATING??-YES HE IS : These are ALL the tell tale signs

WHAT YOU WON'T DEAL WITH IS THE FACT THAT SOME CAUCASIAN WOMEN ARE REAPING WHAT THEY HAVE SOWN IN THEIR BIAS AGAINST NONWHITE MEN IN THAT THEY DID NOT SELECT THEM. SEEDS PLANTED ARE MEANT TO BE REAPED. YOU EVENTUALLY WILL REAP WHAT YOU SOW.

Riley Freeman Is A Retard and a Pervert With No Sense At All: 1. If you have to substitute your woman with porn which contains visual images of women you cannot even perhaps meet in real life then you should even be with your woman in the first place.

2. I Agree about the nagging but men CAN nag too as well.

3. If you need a woman to keep you in check when YOU YOURSELF cannot keep your own self in check and cannot keep your own self under control-THEN YOU ARE NOT A MAN BUT YOU ARE A LITTLE BOY STILL IN NEED OF A CHILDHOOD AND IN SERIOUS NEED OF EMOTIONAL HELP.

4. YOU won't talk about the consequences that some Caucasian/White women WILL reap and ARE reaping because of their absolute bias against GOOD (note I said Good) nonwhite men. What you sow you reap eventually.

Peace Out-But I wish No Peace For Retards or Perverts like the one named : Riley Freeman

To: This sounds just like my: You won't however emphasize the fact that because of the bias of some Caucasian women against nonwhite men that this can be the reason why they are now reaping the clear consequences for their actions. Bias against good nonwhite men does reap its own harvest in the end. Life has a plan for you and that is to harvest the seeds you have sown or planted against men who are nonwhite because you DID NOT choose ONE.

AGAIN I SAY LIFE DOES INDEED HAVE A PLAN TOO FOR YOU AS WELL-AND SOME CAUCASIAN WOMEN FALL INTO THAT PLAN BECAUSE OF THE SEEDS THAT THEY HAVE INDEED SOWN IT SEEMS.

THIS MAN IS PRETENDING TO NOT: THIS MAN IS PRETENDING TO NOT BE A CHEATER WHEN HE IS SHOWING CLEAR SIGNS THAT HE IS ONE-However,

If you are a Caucasian woman this statement definitely applies: "Some of you Caucasian women who have bypassed nonCaucasian men in some cases you also got some of the consequences for your actions. Had you found a good nonwhite man then the potential for this happening to you would not of course occur. Sad but true ladies.. Sad but true."

To: I hate to say this but that-CORRECTION: "THESE ARE THE CONSEQUENCES FOR SUCH CHOICES-INDEED ONE DOES REAP WHAT THEY DO INDEED SOW." is what I was trying to say. The word "Read" should be changed to "Reap" but the point still applies and the TRUTH indeed is STILL spoken.

To: I hate to say this but that: if you are a Caucasian woman this statement definitely applies: "Some of you Caucasian women who have bypassed nonCaucasian men in some cases you also got some of the consequences for your actions. Had you found a good nonwhite man then the potential for this happening to you would not of course occur. Sad but true ladies.. Sad but true." THESE ARE THE CONSEQUENCES FOR SUCH CHOICES-INDEED ONE DOES READ WHAT THEY DO INDEED SOW.

To: Wow: if you are a Caucasian woman this statement definitely applies: "Some of you Caucasian women who have bypassed nonCaucasian men in some cases you also got some of the consequences for your actions. Had you found a good nonwhite man then the potential for this happening to you would not of course occur. Sad but true ladies.. Sad but true."

To: what a wanker: If you are a Caucasian woman this statement definitely applies: "Some of you Caucasian women who have bypassed nonCaucasian men in some cases you also got some of the consequences for your actions. Had you found a good nonwhite man then the potential for this happening to you would not of course occur. Sad but true ladies.. Sad but true."

To: Cheating or just thoughts?: There is clear indication that your "husband" is in fact cheating on you by being him being ultra-defensive in the matter. This sometimes happens when you deal with blended families. You made the choice to enter into a blended family situation and these are the consequences for your actions.

This is a tough issue-you may have to: (1) eventually distance yourself from him if it comes to it by divorce or (2) separate from him for a time as a wake up call to wake him up or (3) Both of you submit to a counselor. (DON'T CHEAT ON HIM YOURSELF-TWO WRONGS CANNOT EVER MAKE A RIGHT)

However, if you are a Caucasian woman my former statement still applies: "Some of you Caucasian women who have bypassed nonCaucasian men in some cases you also got some of the consequences for your actions. Had you found a good nonwhite man then the potential for this happening to you would not of course occur. Sad but true ladies.. Sad but true."

To: Unbelievable : If he says that it is over then he must prove that this is over. Here is a way to gauge his reaction-Go to his workplace if you can and either observe his reaction to you at his workplace. If it is one of awkwardness then "something" might be going on. If it one of warmth and welcome then you can probably begin to trust him again. Also as well to reiterate "if you are a Caucasian woman my former statement still applies: "Some of you Caucasian women who have bypassed nonCaucasian men in some cases you also got some of the consequences for your actions. Had you found a good nonwhite man then the potential for this happening to you would not of course occur. Sad but true ladies.. Sad but true."

To: I'm married or almost 2 yrs,: Tiredness in the relationship is the issue here it seems as well as the fact that he gets defensive anytime you check his phone. It could be that he is starting or has started a relationship with someone else. Clear signs for the potential of being cheated on. Also as well to reiterate "if you are a Caucasian woman my former statement still applies: "Some of you Caucasian women who have bypassed nonCaucasian men in some cases you also got some of the consequences for your actions. Had you found a good nonwhite man then the potential for this happening to you would not of course occur. Sad but true ladies.. Sad but true."

i want to know if my husband is cheating: my husband's phone goes straight to voice mail, he is always hanging around his cousin, who has a lot of females and i just want to know what is going on, we have 2 kids our sex life it's o.k. but lately he just does not want to spend any time at home. he's buying new clothes and he always is on the go! there's is this saying anything he can do i do it better; so do you think it's wise that i cheat on him so he will know how it feels.

I'm married or almost 2 yrs,: I'm married or almost 2 yrs, we are both young(21yrsold).. Few months back my husband do not allow me to check his phone, he said it is his privacy and I do understand that.. Another thing, he said that having too much sex w the same person, we eventually would get tired. What does that mean?

Is he cheating or am i paranoid?: My husband of 2 years has been acting really strange lately. We went from having intercourse daily to rarely doing anything. In fact we are going on 5 weeks of not having intercourse at all. He has me please him in other ways but won't so much as touch me. We have a child and 6 months ago he started a new job that has him traveling a lot! I've looked at his phone because he tells me he has nothing to hide but his computer is a company computer and I can't get on it. I've asked him what the problem is and he uses excuses "I have a thyroid disease and it lowers my libido" or "I work and you stay at home" I grew up watching my father have affairs on my mom and am terrified that it is going to happen to me. Am I just being paranoid or do I have a reason to be concerned?

Unbelievable: i married my high school sweetheart and almost 28 years and three children later, on this past Valentine's Day, I learned that my husband has been having an affair. After my complete emotional breakdown and a prescription for Prozac, I am trying to be rational and civil and optimistic that we can rebuild from here. He says that its over for them, but they do see each other every day at work. I'm struggling with trusting that he is where he says he is and that he isn't wishing he was with her instead of me. On the surface, it looks like we are trying...but I feel as though I'm not being honest about how hurt and devastated I am...my whole foundation has been ripped out from beneath me...the one person I trusted and believed loved me like no other doesn't...and I simply feel exhausted and like I'm just muddling through. I'm not even sure what's realistic to hope for at this point...

cheating??: Ok so I'm not exactly sure what to do. I think my husband has been hiding something && keeping stuff from me. I went through his phone and there was a text to 36500 but not sure what it is. Also he will walk away when he is on the phone. I've looked at he resent calls and there is nothin new I feel like he is deleting something. What should I do?

Wow: Soo if a woman doesn't nag that often then they won't cheat? Look I'm the primary breadwinner in my house. I take care of the household cleaning and cooking and laundry an I give him bjs all the time and take it up the back door. I have to beg for sex most of the time and I don't snoop he gets himself caught because he lies and says he was at a friends house and when I mention it his friends don't know what I'm talking about... But I somehow brought him cheating on me on myself? Classy

Please go with you gut. You: Please go with you gut. You are not dumb and those are definitely not normal or appropriate behavior for a husband. If he leaves in the middle of the night and doesn't let you know and sometimes answers the phone ans at other times he doesn't... I am telling you that ins't normal. I tell you from my own experience. Get a GPS tracker or start sleeping a little lighter sweetie. Turn your inner radar on.

I hate to say this but that: I hate to say this but that sounds exactly like my soon to be x-husband. I trusted my husband 100% and was shocked to find out he was cheating. One day he didn't come home until late the next morning and I was worried something bad happened. A girlfriend of mine asked if he has used his phone since he has been missing. I looked up his cell phone usage online and called the unknown numbers and ended up talking to more than one woman he was cheating with. I made sure I had all the facts before I confronted him and he was then forced to admit it.

You couldnt be more wrong: Well. I see my comments have really made a splash. Just want to point out a couple things. I am bi, but I'm a top sooooo.... and I'm sorry but it is in most cases the woman's fault that a man cheats. Hell even my woman agrees. I know it isn't the most popular thing to say but its the truth. And its not just men, when I was younger I would frequent a local bar notorious for being a meat market. A place where married women go to pick up one night stands. You are just as guilty as we are. Its just the perception that's different. Think about it. Any time a woman in media cheats its about her finding herself and her sexuality, freeing herself from her oppressive husband. But when a man does its dirty and he sneaks around without thought or remorse. Women have double standards just like us. Hell I used to love having sex with married women. They would let you do things to em they wouldn't let their husbands like it was their way of punishing them. Not only that but they know the score, they know I don't care about them they're just a receptacle to shoot it into. I got a little off topic there, I say mean shit to you ladies because you talk down about men when you are just as bad as us. Being a woman does not somehow make you more pious or holy.

You need to leave if you're: You need to leave if you're truly this unhappy. The damage that the divorce of your parents caused you is the damage that causes you to stay. Should you allow the damaged part of you to make your decision? Ask yourself why the divorce "ruined" your life? Divorce doesn't always "ruin" people's lives. Ask yourself how you can divorce and do it better than your parents did. Children living with parents that are miserable together can be just as damaged by that. A marriage with no trust and constant instability is NOT a marriage. It is hell on earth. How much longer would you care to spend waiting for it be better? Another year? Another ten years? Another thirty years? You can keep waiting as long as you'd like, and maybe... maybe... things will change. But they probably won't. I know it's easy for a third party to make a snap decision, but the reason for that is that a third party is not emotionally involved. They can see the situation from the outside, with much more clarity. Try doing that. Try imagining yourself as a friend. Imagine a friend telling you all the things that you just told us. What would you tell that friend? How does the situation look from THAT viewpoint? Lastly... be brave enough to follow through on your decision. Going through with a divorce can be terrifying. It can feel like the end of the world, but guess what? Only the end of the world is the end of the world. Things will settle, the sun will come out, and everything will be fine in the end. Life always finds a way of balancing itself out eventually. Don't fight it. Do what's right for you and your life. You will find freedom and happiness, and you will wonder why you waited so long.

I was in a relationship with: I was in a relationship with my sons father for 3 years. He would accuse me of cheating all the time. Accuse me with his father, brothers, friends. He would accuse me with jesus if you let him. Not to mention i was pregnant at the time and working 6 days a week while he stayed home on his ass. I always ignored him when he would accuse me.It finally got to the point where im always being accused so i mind as well do it. BUT, I never did. I really wish i had. I think constant monitoring and accusing can lead it to the road to cheat. But just because there is a issue with trust doesnt give someone the right to cheat regaurdless if they are being accused. The one saying I always keep in my head "you reap what you sew" I live by this motto. One day you may find a women that your in love with and would do anything for and she treats you like a dog and cheats on you while the your doing right. People need to seriously think of the reprecussions for thier actions. Your reprecussions may not neccesarily be with the person your dating but with future relationships! People, make sure you have decent proof of infidelity before you accuse! On another note make sure you and your spouse both have a clear understanding of what cheating is. Just because you may think flirting is cheating doesnt mean your man does too. So with that being said make sure ou both are on the same page

There is no excuse to cheat.: There is no excuse to cheat. If your unhappy in a relationship or want out then do just that. Lack of sex, bordum are all cover ups for cheating.I dont understand how a man can blame the women or even think its thier fult in anyway. Just because theres something wrong with a marriage doesnt mean you get a one way ticket to cheat, thats what communication is for. If people are this childish then why are you getting married in the first place? Do people even understand what vows are?

I think he's cheating but I'm I just thinking wrong??: I've been married to my husband for 10 years. We've had our ups and down and things can be good one day and the next they are the worst. Things have always been this way but lately he has been laid off his job and so he sleep thru the day and at night he's up surfing the next or the worst he leaves in the middle of the night just out, he doesn't do it everyday but it happens. I've woken up in the middle of the night and realize the TV in the living room is still on and the lights are off and he is nowhere to be found at home. I will call him or text him and at times he does answer and at times he wont. When He does he claims he is at Walmart or went to go get something to eat. He does bring something back from where he was supposedly at but could it be just a cover up?? I don't know. I confront him about it saying its not right for a married man to just jet off in the middle of the night without telling his wife it's looks suspicions. and he just think I am being a drama queen and I'm just dumb for thinking that. But my gut tells me different. HELP I'm i really just causing problems for nothing.

Become what age wants: If I may, I highly suggest reading a book called "The Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011". It explains exactly why your wife isn't having sex with you. She wants sex too, just not with you. Make the changes she needs (not what she says she needs, but what the book says she needs-mainly, be more of an alpha-male) and she'll start wanting you again.

I just dont know what to do...: Ok i really need some serious advice about my marriage. My husband has cheated before... almost the entire relationship. The only reason i stayed was because we have kids and i grew up with divorced parents and it basically ruined my life. I wanted to
make it work, and i got over it all and forgave. He has been constantly "getting the divorce papers" and
then wanting to make it work. To make matters worse i was assaulted by another man and our marriage
has had problems, because the cops havent done anything, so he is hesitant to believe me. He
has been loyal for the last 6 months since he turned to God but he gets very angry when i ask him if
Something is going on. There are times where i know he isn't cheating anymore, but he still shows
the signs. Should i believe he is telling tbe truth and just getting upset that i dont believe him? Should i even keep trying when he keeps breaking up and getting back together? I really want this to work, because hw is the only man i trust to be around after my assault, and he my kids dad. I have been stuck in this cycle for many years now, amd im young... advice please?

I have to interject : How was your sex life? Were you keeping him happy at home? That is one thing that will drive most men to cheat or even consider it.

Women tend to lose sight of how important physical intimacy is with their husbands. Sex becomes infrequent or none at all... and you end up with a cheating husband.

Yes, I know... Some men are just animals and will cheat for no reason at all. I get that.

I can just tell you from my own experience, that I've considered cheating, came close to doing it... Still I'm here on the internet trying to fix my marriage and I come across this site. Counseling may actually be saving my marriage and our sex life is improving as my wife finally seems to get that I don't want to cheat and that I love her and just want to be intimate with her. I'm still wildly attracted to her, but regardless of that, her lack of sexual interest was a real downer, and there is only so many times a husband can be rejected by his wife before he starts to consider finding something on the side or ending the marriage - period.

All I ask, is that before you proclaim total blame on your husbands for cheating... look inward to your marriage and find what the trigger was... It will be enlightening.

He kicked u and yo.kids out: He kicked u and yo.kids out Christmas eve u should have left him then but I understand how a good woman forgives but u cant change a person he just gone do da same shit ova and ova and any man dat put yo.kids out in da cold dnt lovme u your kids are part of u move,on and find better but us as women have that problem tryin to hold on to what not meant to b and what the lord is tryin to get away frm in order 4your blessing gud luck

This sounds just like my: This sounds just like my situation. Especially with the part "he even asked me what I thought about naming our son this one name I fell in love with I was totally going to name our baby it ...... it was her sons name"

I found this girls picture on his phone and he convinced me it was his cousin. Of course it was some girl that he was doing an internship with over the summer and was having sex with (this was the summer that he got me pregnant). She had a son too named Gabon or something. That was one of the names that he actually suggested to me to name our son! Of course this was before I knew that she wasn't his cousin or that she had a son or that he was a lying cheating a-hole.
You will find someone that loves you and your son for who you are. Until then just focus on raising your son and helping him be the best person that he can be. By the way, something good did happen to you (you have a beautiful child). He deserves to have a mother that is completely focused on him. After me and my sons father broke up, I put my son first and things just started to fall into place for me. I started seeing a great guy that I used to date(we are now married), I finished school and now I have an amazing job and family. Just put all of your trust in God(I can not over emphasize this enough). He has a plan for you and your son, and it's a great plan with a future filled with happiness.

nasty: You really did help me thank you I have been with my sons father for three years we got preg after eight months of being together I DID NOT know him good enough he's a lier and cheater and just flat out ass hole he has cheated on me from day one and by day one I mean day he had a girlfriend I knew nothing about when we got together but the worst was when I found out about the hussy that worked next door to him that knew about me and didn't care the whole pregnancy the whole first year of my life she was seeing him SHE KNEW ABOUT ME AND MY SON he even asked me what I thought about naming our son this one name I fell in love with I was totally going to name our baby it ...... it was her sons name the part that stood out to me is life is too short and sex is not everything I try to keep in mind that not every man is like this but after being burned so bad I find it hard to trust and always think men are out for one thing and I just keep getting hurt over and over again but I'm still young 26 and believe that one day something good will happen to me because I'm a good person and desurve it :)

I'm sorry hunnie, but it: I'm sorry hunnie, but it seems to me that he is simply looking for prime opportunity to cheat! It is nothing, to let you check his phone. Delete your search history, calls and naughty texts. Also,...cheaters save phone numbers under a completely different name, so if a guy is cheating on you,...he will save her number under a guy's name or some common name that doesn't draw attention. So,...I wouldn't put too much faith in him allowing you to see his phone. What you do is: don't ask to see his phone. Wait a good 3 weeks or longer. Don't even eyeball his phone. Then you pop the question. "Baby,...I need to use your phone a minute.", and see his face fall. If he has any interest in getting another woman's number,...he has interest in sticking his hose in someone else. He isn't properly emotionally attatched to you, in the same way I assume you are to him. He may not be able to be emotionally attatched, but chances are,...he is capable of it, but simply isn't attatched seriously to YOU and therefore remains on the market, shopping for gewdz! So to speak! Lots of men do this. They don't wanna pay for sex, and most bums couldn't anyways, so they fabricate a 'love' affection for a woman they feel control over and bunk up with her and get all they can from her. She ends up pregnant, while he is still shopping. The typical guy, looks and looks and will continue to look for 'strange', for excitement, for anything! All cheaters need is,...opportunity and someone willing. You want, and deserve a real, lasting, powerful love that is not cheap and damaging. Men are capable of both loving you, in an allover general sense of 'love', and are, at the same time, capable of animal sex, without attachment! (Madonna/whore complex) you (and all ) need to decide,...am I okay with my man, screwing other chics on the side and then lies upon lies to deny it and cover it, or am I better off having standards and loving myself enough to accept nothing less than a real man, real love, real respect, real honesty and a person who actually owns a conscience! It is HARD to swallow and it hurts to drop a burning red pot,...especially when you have been holding onto it soo long, that it has melted your skin onto itself. But,...the true pain, is when you are approaching the end of your lifetime, and you then realize how you waisted your time, heart and happiness, because you spent allll of your time heart and love on sadness. The regrets dig deeper and deeper as the time runs out, and after you 'waste the pretty' on some unworthy asshole garbage, you find yourself wishing,...just wishing you had the courage to love yourself strong enough to have the courage to kick cheating trash to the whore houses they are saving their money from by using decent woman up, like yourself. Take courage, accept nothing less than TRUE human to human relation(s). And take a chance and gamble on yourself to find and ultimately have the *true love*. It exists, and decent human beings exist! We don't have forever to play games and wait for someone who deep down inside believe's we are cheap and stupid, or worse, free and stupid enough to continue buying lie after lie after lie. If all of us women, kicked garbage to the can, men simply wouldn't have anything to discuss and laugh about amongst themselves. Cause believe this,...they brag about how much they get, and how free it is, but they laugh the hardest at recanting the lies they sold you! Get angry and fight for your self .

What now? A lil insight: I understand what your going through.. I to have been going through the same type of thing.. before making a life changing decision seek counseling then if that doesnt work try a temporary seperation and if all that fails then its obvious that this may not be the relationship you thought it was. It takes two to argue but one to cheat.. So if you know your not doing anything wrong then you two should be able to make it with just some counseling and maybe a lil more communication on a calm civil level.. I'm in the process of trying to put my assumptions behind me and doing counseling to see if we just in a rough patch. Hope it works out for the best whichever way that is. Sometimes us woman try to hard to make our relationship work when it is only one sided. Hate to break it to all hurting hearts but you can only hold on so long. Being alone isn't that bad if you cant fix the issue just be happy and be strong and indepentdent a good man doesn't stray he sticks by your side and talks about things and compromises fairly. Hope this helped.

I need advice!!: I have no real proof he actually cheated but since we been married I have caught him dogging me on the phone to a chic friend....which he asked to be his new wife... then once we moved found facebook messages to a few old girlfriends of his saying I was a cheat and couldn't bare children for him..both statements untrue.. then he kicked me and our four children out on christmas eve so we spent christmas and my birthday at a family member house... then ... while we were there he answered craiglist ads for women seeking men on a cold lonely night...omg... but I forgave and forgot and we were doing good so i thought??? Recently we went back to our home state for ten days.. on one of the nights he picked a fight told me to leave so I did... found out he called like four escort services and yes one of them more than once and got a return call from it... but I have no proof he actually cheated just that he thinks about it and looks into to his options... What do I do.. I love him 100% but he is pushing me away and hurting me... Is this cheating or just thoughts???

Cheating or just thoughts?: So me and my husband are going on two years of marriage we have a total of four kids. One together and three are from previous relationship. In the past two years I have found phone calls, texts, and recently phone calls to escort service. Whenever confronted he gets very defensive and it turns into I'm a cheat... wtf.. he reassures me he hasn't cheated so if thats true why call an escort service? why facebook old chic friends? why tell his family i'm a cheat?? I'm in love with someone who might not love me the way I love him.. What to do?

what a wanker: well i'd hate to tell you but I'm very adventurous take it all ways and love sex all the time and guess what buddy my hubby still cheated you men are disgusting and most of you need a bullett give them nothing ladies that's what they deserve there mostly all pigs!!!

Frank the pathetic man...: Oh ladies.. this "FRANK" is looking for attention.. a fight.. something to get him going................... Something to get him hot... all us "trollops"... seems like "FRANK" is all alone..... and needs to get himself off... pathetic... I so laugh at this "FRANK" ten cents....

Girl all i know is u deserve: Girl all i know is u deserve better than that!!! If he's so l lonely shouldnt he be callen u or emailen u...!t U sound like a sweet pure hearted woman ,i just found out my husband of 12 years has been lyen and cheatn for awhile ,
Ur heading down that road...!BE HONEST WITH URSELF U DESERVE THAT!

I am one hundred percent: I am one hundred percent certain that my boyfriend of fifteen months is cheating on me. His recent odd behavior points it out. Before we used to talk all of the time (he lives two hours away) now we talk less and he texts me less often. Sometime he'll send me a text around five or six PM saying "I'm going to take a nap", then I won't hear from him till the next day. Before that was unheard of, he would never miss a chance to talk to me. And a couple of times he has made comments to me about something we supposedly laughed about, and yet that never happened between US. We are seeing each other less often now because he supposedly has to "work" on the weekends, now, and when we do see each other, he always has his phone with him, when before he would shut it off and leave it in his car because he was with me. When we are out and about at the mall, or somewhere, he rarely used the restroom before, now he can't pass a restroom without needing to duck inside and "use it". Yeah, use it to privately text or talk to someone, likely. Everything is pointing towards his infidelity. But here is the odd thing; instead of being emotionally distant, he is getting more affectionate and loving. After sex he holds me and tells me how much he loves me, and I can tell by his voice that he isn't just saying it. In fact, he tells me constantly how much he loves me, and is starting to talk marriage. I truly believe he loves me, yet I truly believe he is having an affair. So what am I to realize, here? Is this type of behavior normal for a guy? To be cheating on his gf, yet still want to marry her? I mean, why does he want to marry if he wants to be with someone else, too. Seems counterintuitive.

Cheated-Married 22 Years-Still Lying "Just Friends": We are a very good looking couple who have been together 22 years with 3 girls...Always had great sex never an issue....I've been accused of cheating for years..Never once had the thought occured to me...about 7 years ago he started missing alot of work....he was a General Foreman and decided to quit...he laid around for 8 months until I had a break down..We had always had whatever we wanted, savings account etc...He goes back to work and calls out alot..decides on a career and leave the Union...We go into partnership on a great company..I resign from a big Corp position of 10 yrs (big bucks)..to relocate to another state....IRS comes in a takes it down from prior issue on partner & I find out my husband hasn't secured our investment and we loose it all......Now neither have jobs and house that I have been paying for would be paid off in 2 more years, we are about to loose....Save the home and then marraige falls apart because I am angry..with right...we decide he needs to move out, I am thinking it want take long and he will realize what he's put us through..RIGHT....No..Wrong....hes at our home cutting the grass one day Im at work and daughter calls to tell me a friends ex-girlfriend stops by our house...Husband tells her we are seperated and he's not living here...She say's Can I have your number....that was 1 week after he has moved out...20 days later I left my cell at office and needed a number..logged into our cell phone account and curiosity got the best of me and first sight was a 77 minute call....I pulled the texts and calls down in excel and sorted...I was in SHOCK...430 minutes talking and endless texts messages...I call him after I call the number and find out who it belongs too...He tried to play it off as you know so and so...We are Just Friends...The calls and texts told the story..when they were together...all of it...He has lied thru his teeth, forgot the lies hes told..I was devastated to say the least...He came home swearing on Marriage Counseling which I begged before he left..Never happened of course..I used websites for helping myself...because I thought I was going crazy...He slept with her the 3rd day...met her that first day when she stopped by MY home....and the 21 days has destroyed 22 years of marriage...Its been six months now and he wants it all to go away..sweep it under the rug...Just Friends means..Shut up, I don't care about your feelings..Don't bring it up again..I want it all to go away..He is such a manipulator he almost had me convinced what was in black and white on paper isn't what I really saw...It changed me..and he still hasn't cleaned up the financial mess he created..so the house is on the market and it is over..Marriage is more than Sex Ladies..All this dumb crap these men are writing on here is SICK...to be able to connect emotionally to a partner and lift them up..Respect them etc....Great Sex follows...A roll in the hay will kill you now and I am not intrested...We are living in the last days and life is too short...Im not playing cheating games...Thanks..hope I've helped someone with my experience...

I appreciate all of your: I appreciate all of your comments and pretty much feel the same but what if I knew about your past cheating record and felt insecure you may do it to me.....? Trust me I am just as sexual as you are so that would not be of concern but with what you have shared you seem to have a record of cheating.....why not break up then go elsewhere.....?

Cheating/ Lying Husband: My husband of 3 years started acting very strange about 7 months ago. He's a firefighter & used the excuse that he's gone from our home so much because he's either on call or going to hang out with the "boys" for coffee while they wait for a call. 7 months ago, he started giving off odd clues that made me notice that something was going on. It's was so many little things he was doing differently that had made me think he was cheating. One of those things was he started calling me daily from inside his truck. He had never done this before. He also stopped chatting with me on the phone in front of his friends. He seemed to be coming from somewhere when he called me or waiting someplace parked or he was driving home from somewhere, but always calls inside his truck. These were days where he wasn't scheduled to be working either. I became very concerned. He blamed all of my concerns on the fact that he works a lot but he worked a lot before so why is his work causing us so many problems now? I mean, how do I fault him for running out the door at 2:00 AM if he really is needed at a fire or a rescue? I went away for a few days to visit my sister & when him & I were chatting on Skype, I could here in his voice that he was somehow distracted, like he was reading something, then when I asked him what he was doing, all of a sudden, I heard 3 texts messages come through on his phone. From what I can gather, he was talking on the computer with me but he was texting someone on his cell then waiting for their reply. This has happened many times. Once again, he said it was his "buddies" trying to get a hold of him. He carries a fire pager so those were NOT his buddies. One day while he claimed he was at the "coffee shop" with his buddies, I decided to drive there without him knowing. Since we have just this one coffee shop in town that everyone goes too, I kept him on the phone while I drove there, telling him I was going to the grocery store in the opposite direction. I could tell by the way his cell phone was echoing, he was once again sitting in his truck, not inside a building. Was he sitting in his truck perhaps meeting his lover in the parking lot at this coffee shop? I wasn't sure. Anyway, as I got to the coffee shop, I drove the parking lot to look for his truck. It was nowhere in sight. So, I parked, went inside & looked around all the while keeping him on the cell phone. Nope, he wasn't in the shop & neither were any of his "fire buddies." So, I told him I had to get off the phone & I'd call him later. Then I drove down the road to the fire house. I went inside & asked where he was. Two of his buddies who were suppose to be with him that afternoon were sitting there watching TV in the common room. Neither of them had heard from him in a few days although he just got through claiming to me that he was with them. I could also tell they looked mighty guilty, they knew I knew something was up at that point. From there, I drove over to a few other places in town that I might find him at but I wasn't able to locate him that day. I didn't bring it up his lies when he got home late that night. Instead, when he left for a 24 hr shift the next day, I picked up a close female friend of mine & her & I went & hired a private detective. Despite the high cost, I gave them a check & they gave me my answers.

Within a week, they had enough evidence to show me. We caught him cheating with a 24 year old woman from the next town over who had been using excuses with her husband to drive to our town to hook up with my husband in that parking lot. My soon-to-be ex-husband is 43 years old. I'm 34. From everything I knew, my marriage was great right up until he cheated. Him & his lover had been meeting at the coffee shop parking lot as I had suspected then heading off to have sex. Since he had claimed to meet his buddies there an average of 3 times per week plus nights & weekends, they must of been having a lot of sex.

I followed my gut ladies. If your fears inside are telling you he's cheating, don't let him fool you or talk you out of it. He is cheating. I know you don't want to believe it. I went through the denial too. The biggest clue I got was he started constantly accusing me of cheating on him even though he knew my daily whereabouts all the time. It was his own guilt that gave him away in the end by doing that. He also had told me that I'd be better off meeting someone else yet here we were married? I found that kind of talk very strange behavior coming from him. My husband & I tried to sort it out in marriage therapy but I just couldn't forgive him. A month ago he moved out & him & his mistress got a place together. She left her husband for him & she also abandoned her (2) young kids for him. I filed for divorce & I notified her husband what his cheating wife was doing with my cheating husband this whole time. Her husband has filed for the children & also a divorce from her. I asked my husband why he cheated on me. He said because he was bored. I asked him, "Bored with what?" He said he was bored with marriage & that he was jealous of all of his "single" buddies. Some hero huh? :(

riley hit that nail on the head and I'm a woman: I don't know about anyone else, but I appreciate this frank and honest answer from this person's point of view.
I also agree with him from this woman's point of view that if a man wanted to lose my fidelity, do those things riley mentioned. nuff said. thanks sir!
I for one crave b-jaying my man and I go for it on my own and try not to waste a drop, because I want all of him. We watch porn together and apart and we both pleasure ourselves together and/ or alone. I couldn't be happier. If he decides to cheat, it's definitely his personal issue, but he says he'd be crazy to. My suggestion would be to stop being a snobby and stuck up prude and please your man the way he needs to be pleased and find your pleasure in it also, don't forget to know how to pleasure yourself better than your man does, stop being so controlling and leave him the heck alone and he won't venture too far. Oh, keep that body up; after all, you should look good and feel good for and about yourself before you even think about looking good for him.

You are just a DOG! Making an: You are just a DOG! Making an excuse for your uncontrolled sexual perversion! You can't control IT, IT controls you! So you tell yourself its healthy and normal, when in actuality YOU NEED HELP! Cheated on every woman you had...oh boy. Dont know how old you are, guessing still fairly young, You'll probably wind up old and alone with kids here and there, that dont know you exsist or do, and think the least of you. Thats if you make it to an old age if your peepee doesn't rott off first.

Snoop was right, they do be crazy.: Wow, as a dude. This list is insane, if your man is bitchy, he's cheating, if he's to nice... Cheating. Tries to look too good, cheating. And what's this crap about goin through your mans phone. Really ladies, come on now. I'm a cheater, proud, unrepentant, and very successful cheater (cheated on every woman I've ever dated). Was only caught once in a way I couldn't talk my way out of. And as a regular cheater I can tell you, undeniably, and with every fiber of my being, 90% of the reason for cheating... The woman. Now before you broads get up in arms and start pmsing everywhere, hear me out. I cheated because women would nag, bitch too much or just ride my ass to the point I either wanted hate f*ck her and break up, or go pick up a piece of trim and blow off some steam and go back home. Hell I had an affair with a girl BECAUSE I was being accused by my woman of sleeping with her. Hell I figured if I was getting punished I may as well have some fun. And don't act like it's all men who cheat, said affaur and I were each other's piece on the side. We helped each other with problems in our respective relationships, and it helped. Sh*it, we're both still in our relationships. You really want to know the secret to keeping your horse in the barn? 1.Cut down the nagging, not all of it, we men need your girls there to keep our asses in check. Just tone it down a bit. 2.Su*k some wang, not kidding, a study found that an overwhealming percentage of prostitute patrons sought out a hooker simply because they wanted a knobber and their women at home wouldn't do it. See also, dont act like a b-jibber is such a chore.And3.Dont fault men for watching porn. We are visual creatures, that's what revves our engines. Porn is where we get ideas and vent frustrations. It's healthy, and normal. Damn I don't care if I'm getting sweet sweet loving on a daily basis, I will still jerk it four or five times a week, it's a connection women just don't understand.... I hope this very frank and honest comment helps some couples and doesn't offend anyone too much. I love all women, you are all beautiful unique creatures that deserve love. But love is also influenced by sex. And when one wanes, the other is not far behind. Night ladies.

what now: So I am looking for some honest feedback. 2 years ago after just giving birth I found out some things about my husband that I can't seem to deal with. First he was using porn while I was in the next room with our children during the day. We were at the time having a constant sexual relationship so i m not really sure what was going on first he claimed he was just watching something a friend sent him then he said he was just bored. Then he said he uses it so he last longer when we are together. This all just sounds like crap to me. Second problem he works nights at a resturant. A resturant mind you that we go to together we hang out with others that work there as a family but for some reason he got some girls number and called her twince after hiding the # from me. He said he just wanted to see if he could pick her up. So then why did he call her twince then he said he asked her to met for drinks but she said maybe some other time. So in my head he asked for sex but she turned him down. Am I right? Third I asked him to leave this job so I won't be worrying about this all the time. He didn't. Just to be clear he does have another job .now here we are 2 years later and he has done nothing to make me feel better. He does let me check his phone. But he still works in the resturant he can't seem to understand why I want him to move out. He says I am destorying us. I think maybe he is just one of those guys who just can't be honest. ? A little feedback please. If you really love someone I don't think you would do these childish things. What do you think?

Men were born cheaters: I think th emain problem is that most men want us to be nice and stay at home, take care of everything, while they can have all the fun. Have your ex call you once on the phone and speak nice to him, and immediately your husband makes a big scandal. But it is normal for him if from time to time his secreatry gives him a nice BJ or if he stops by at the massage parlour to 'relax' for an hour or 2. I told him, we are equal. I do what you do, I don't do what you don't. Be frank and open to me: I will never say no to you, but I will do exactly the same.
And for BELLA who writes about her worry: would it be possible that your husband started to like men? His attitude sounds strange really. But not like a cheating man.

Is he cheating: It all started when i was pregnant, i was admitted to the hospital on bed rest with our set of twins while my husband was in AIT for basic training in the army, he came home on leave and always had his phone on him an this girl was always texting him and even in front of me,once i called the number back an she jst didnt answer an texted "im with my boyfriend right now, i cant talk. later n i made him get a new nmber befor he went back for training an his leave was up, a few months later after i finally had the kids we moved down to texas with him to live an got married then he deployed an he was argementative alot befor he left bt never went ot with out me an just went to work his few army hours then wold come home on lunch even sometimes. while he is deployed i googled him an found he had a myspace with all these females on it from around or area and it said he was there for dating/friends an his stas was single, i noticed one of the girls was the same girl that was texting him befor he left, he told me we were in a bad fight an he was lonely that he got her number an they talked an shes married an he told her it wasnt gonna work that he was married an so was she, i was like what do u mean its not gonna work? what did u do? he said he never met her an then deleted the account for me an appologized an said he was just lonely at the time because we werent there, then i find out a few months ag while his still deployed he had created another myspace again with all females an some were on his aol instant messanger an so many of them but he said he did it again because he was lonely an never was gonna meet them. is he planning an affair? im so lost, hes deployed s its hard but hes comming back home on leave soon and we have been doing great ever sense the new yr but now im afraid he has more sites that i dont know about and i have no way of knowing or tracking him because hes gone an deployed.

is he cheating: Its been three months and he has not said I love you to me. And when I tell him he dose not say nothing, and he always has is cell phone and don't want me to see it. And won't talk to me on facebook!!!! I don't know what to do cause he allways mad at me. And won't kiss me. Culeless

communicating: Does anyone know if it is possible for someone to communicate with a "paramour" using short codes? I keep seeing texts, both sent and received to short codes on our phone bill. I am wondering if it is google voice, twitter, linkedin, yahoo or some other social media that forwards messages to cell phones via short codes.
The codes are : 141-008-0001 and 121

What do I make of it: Ok so my husband of 6 months works
At a pizza place and washes dishes
Has started buttering up to me just
Handing money over to me to get
My hair done and stuff but there
Is this girl he works with that keeps
Telling me I'm jealous of her and always
Flirting with my hubby.. He says nothing
Is going on but she all of a sudden want
To fight me for no reason we have a 7
Month old boy and if I find he's cheating
I'm not sure what to do but what do I
Make of this girls attitude???

Do you have an iPOD or smart: Do you have an iPOD or smart phone if so go to mobile spy software and download the free one after the trail you would have to purchase it for a $1 or $2 I have it and I tried it....he's here and it tracked him here.....so it works...good luck.

smart phone mobile spy software: Please send me this information on purchasing this devise. I would love to find out what my husband is doing at the gym with friends until 1-2 in the morning. We have 3 kids.

What an awful way to feel: What an awful way to feel when u r pregnant. Im so sorry he is such an ass! My husband has never even let me look in his phone. He actually has it locked w/ a code I don't know. Many times I've asked him if I can use his phone and he will make up some excuse. We have gotten in to many fights over this. Then he has the nerve to accuse me of cheating! Constantly, for 6 years! don't ask me why I put up w/ it. I don't deserve it. I've never cheated on him. We have 3 children. The kids make it harder for me to leave and move on:(

Go with your instincts: Massage palors are notorious for under cover prostitution. They make them look like the real deal.If you walk in, you will just get a massage, if he walks in, there are (extras) if you know what I mean. Cleaning up his phone records is another (Huge) hint. My husband did this too. He was caught cheating. Ask him to clean the house again out of the blue. Watch his reaction closely.

Ive been there.: Unfortunately everything you stated that your husband is doing is exactly what mine did. And mine was caught cheating.He told me I was insecure too. First it was strip clubs, then instead of fantasy it progressed to cheating. He was always angry at me and very critical of EVERYTHING I did. He did not want me to touch his cell phone suddenly when before it was ok with him. One Sunday he was gone for 7 hrs and when he came home he immediately jumped in the shower without even making eye contact with me. He had his cell in his pants pocket and the pants were right in front of the shower door wher he could keep an eye on them. When I reached for his phone from his pants, he bolted out of the shower and grabbed his pants angrily and asked what I was doing? He was suddenly untrusting of me. We had been married for 22 yrs when this occurred. I told him I neede to borrow his phone because I had forgotten to charge mine. He looked as if I had smacked him in the face or something and angrily told me that I'll have to wait for my phone to charge then so that I could learn a lesson and keep it charged. He had changed the cell phone statements to paperless. I did'nt even realize that he had done that a year ago and it all started to dawn on me. Needless to say, I signed up for an account online with his phone number and when I finally got access to his cell phone statement my heart jumped to my throught so fast I almost choked on it. I found the number he had been repeatly calling for 8 months and his 22 yr old mistress answered. There were text messages with him calling her a princess even. He never knew how to text before.. She taught him. He is 50 and texting like he is 15. Another sign to watch for. After I found out he drained 30k from our bank account and left me broke with 3 kids. Never thought this would happen to me. It's true what they say about "Rose Colored Glasses", I wore them. P.S. Don't load the gun. Their not worth it and your kids need you more than ever right now

This Is how To Catch Them Red Handed: Unfortunately if you don't know that your husband is cheating it will be a bit hard. If this is his first time you can only pay attention to his action. Watch all the things he does, if you notice that his cell phone can't be found, that will be one of them. Your the only one that can tell what kind of changes he have, like how many times does he shower each day, or if he ever shower everyday. Does he start wearing cologne but he never does before. Have you ever seen the cell phone statement. These are a few ways you can tell. I found the most useful way to catch them cheating is with this information. After going through this is was sooo easy and i finally got to put my emotions to rest

Has your husband had an injury or is he using drugs?: Dear Missy, A couple of things really send a flag to me about your husband. He has been showing this distrusting behavior for four years and I am wondering if he had any kind of head injury around the start of his behavior? Don't know in what part of the country you live but has he ever been bitten by a tick? Lyme disease can manifest itself with paranoid/delusional behavior. As far as your husband's claim about STD and cheating print this page or show him this link about your vaginosis. http://www.cdc.gov/std/bv/STDFact-Bacterial-Vaginosis.htm. If he is cheating HE could have given it to you! Also, from the way you discuss your questions to your husband you seem overly solicitous in your behavior with makes me think you have low self esteem. Your best bet is to find some family counseling and present it to your husband as "I want to make this family work and if you want to also then you will go to counseling with me and I'll even find a male marriage counselor." Then, if he refuses to go with you, you should realize that when confronted with the truth he will back down. You need to stand up for yourself and your boys and remember that you are the example of the type of woman your sons will seek later in life. Show them what a self respecting woman is...I am so sorry that your husband ignores you and his sons. He really needs help. Good Luck!

Depends on the state in which you live: Dear Erika,
Depending on the state in which you live you may be entitled to alimony. Domestic abuse can be grounds for divorce and restraining order (to keep him away from your or your children; or to provide for supervised visits) but you must show to the court through police reports/psychological counseling that your husband has abused you. Mental anguish means you have a difficulty functioning with daily tasks...if you have a job and have been working steadily with no signs of poor performance than you show the court that you are "functioning" and mental anguish is difficult to prove.

Also, I really recommend that you seek a consultation with a reputable, female divorce attorney. The way you talk about your relationship with your husband makes me cringe that the tension in your household is unbearable. You can't change his behavior. It will only become more painful for you. It is unhealthy living in a relationship that is covered in distrust and deceit. Life is too precious and too short and it's the only one you've got. good Luck!

Should I load the gun?: My husband of 9 years, recently started behaving funny. He has always had a porn problem and I am afraid he is beginning to take it to a whole new level. He recently began searching "Free online dating", he hides his phone, and he is taking special outing trips with his best friend and not including me. I am 36 weeks pregnant with our 4th child, and I feel alone and neglected. He tells me I am just insecure and I need to give up. Yesterday he came home from work a little late, didn't even say hello to me, jumped right into the shower, and had taken his phone into the shower with him. When I looked for his phone and found it in the shower with him I asked why and he got mad, telling me to back off. We have been fighting for weeks now about him being shady. I am afraid. Every promise he has made me in 12 years has turned into a lie, I don't know when I can trust him anymore. He says he loves me and I am the only woman he wants in his life, but I just don't believe him anymore. Is he cheating, or just having some long term commitment freak out? HELP!!!

My husband and I have been married for 4 months now, and I suspect my husband is cheating one me. He firsts doesn't pay too much attention to me anymore, he is verbally abusive to me, he gets angry for no reason. He started this new thing where he loves buying new clothes and dressing up and looking at himself in the mirror to make sure he looks good before he leaves the house. He recently met this girl at the mosque who apparently helped him to look for work, he hid it from me at the beginning, then told me afterwards. But the thing is, the girl keeps on texting him and him too, two days ago, I saw a text from her on his phone talking about her day and putting smileys on it, I just found it weird for someone he just met. Even when I comfronted him he still replied to her text. He keeps on going out a lot these days and dressing up. I know for sure he likes the girl, as she's all that am not. I don't no what to do. I thought a lot about getting a divorce.

Your husband is verbally abusing you, manipulation isn't cool: I suggest the book THE VERBALLY ABUSIVE RELATiONSHIP by Patricia Evans. I'm not into self help stuff but this book showed me how to spot the subtle and very relationship specific abuse. I may or may not leave my husband but this book made it possible to see how if I stay I am choosing the more difficult path, and may never be truly happy. It also gave me power in a relationship where I had none. Withholding is a form of manipulation this book will end it's effect on you.

Husband's a cheater: Now I know for sure! Thank You sooo much!.The signs ARE there.He guards his cell phone with his life,he doesn't hold my hand in public,just this past Sunday,I suggested we spend the day together to no success.he eats dinner super fast,just to go back on his cell phone,he no longer kisses me good bye or hello when he is home from work.He carries his phone with him all the time,he sleeps with it also!!!.I think he met this girl at some stupid game website he joined in.It is like some avatar-like-game thing or so.Not long ago I cought him talking on the phone with her,he swore up and down she was just a "friend".She heard my voice I made CLEAR she did!.He tells me I scared her off.Supposedly.If I request divorce is he entitled to pay me Alimony since he is a Cheater? Can I prove Domestic Abuse and Mental anguish?.I have been with this Man 14 years!.

Is he cheating or just crazy?: we have been together for almost 11 years married for 10 months. for the past 4 years my husband has been accusing me of cheating on him. he only does this when he is mad about something else that has nothing to do with us or if we are haveing financial problems. i am a stay at home mom of 4 boys and if i go to the ban and make a check for 30 or 40 dollars to get something we need he goes crazy...whiy didnt you call and ask me? do you expect me to trust you? you are always steeling money from me!..I dont think i am steeling money from him. we are married, we are a family. he is not my father, i dont feel i need to ask "daddy" for money. this is when he begins to accuse me of cheating on him. then it gets to where he goes a few days without talking to me..then he is fine..he says he has proof that i have cheated, but whan i ask him to show me, he says "oh its coming just wait". I ask him if he is seeing anyone else and he says if he was he'd tell me to get the hell out. all of this has been going on for the past 4 years.....as of yesterday 8-12-2011 he came in from work not talking to me or the kids didnt eat supper, left in the night time for a while...came back at a very decent time 9:30p, stayed in the basement with his brother watching tv then went to bed at 11:30..this am, still not talking to me or the boys i ask him if he want breakfast-No- he says, do you need me to make your lunch for work today-NO- again...he said no before i could even finish the questions....so i fed the boys...he goes and makes himself a noodle cup and i ask what is wrong? he says "nothing, it is my problem". I said there is something bother you you havent talked to us and you are walikng around all frowny faced. He said you know what it is you never change you keep doing the same thing. When you had the infection the last time what was it...I have had BV-bacterial vaginosis 3 times and he thinks that it is some kind of horrible STD...that he is going to get...i tried explaing to him what it was and talking to him as before that i have never cheated on him and he got mad and threw his bowl of noodle at me and left.....I love this man, i just dont know how to get him to understand that i've never cheated on him. Either he is the cheater or someone really feeding him some BS that he is believing......what do you think?

I came across this page looking for answer. I have been married to my husband for two years but just lately I noticed something different. At first he lied to me about going for a massage because his reason I might get insecure then I just let that go. One day after that, I came home late from work and the look of the apartment was so different. Well of course he isn't there because he is working at night. Anyway, that day I came home with a house cleaned, which he will never do unless we have visitor, my necklace and clothes on the top of my dresser in our bedroom has been kept and al my things on the living room is hidden. And one more thing is the bed is tidied up but its crumpled on top of it which looks like somebody rolled and lay in there. So of course I confronted humans he said nobody came then I checked his phone and everything is deleted (search history, text msg and phonecalls). My question is, is he hiding something from me? In addition to that, I caught him watching porn many times. Please give me advice. Thanks a lot.

Phone Spy: I want to share one experience here. I had this boyfriend who was really nice and romantic in the early days just like every relationship. But lately I started to notice that he was behaving kind of weird. He would make every possible effort to keep his cell phone away, if he’ll go the washroom he would take it with him instead of leaving it behind with me alone. And then one day while we were going out in his car, I saw a delicate bracelet in his glove compartment, I got really suspicious, upon asking me he just started bushing around. I was really worried and heartbroken but then one day one of my friend consoled me and encouraged me to take control of the things and I did. She told me about this smart phone mobile spy software (StealthGenie) which I bought form the internet and I spied on my boyfriend well now ex-boyfriend. I got to know that he has just been playing around. I read his messages and got to know that what big pervert and lousy character guy he was.

With the help of that mobile application, StealthGenie, I located his GPS location; I caught him red-handed while he was with one of his lover cuddle and getting intimate. I didn’t see him since then.

For all the ladies commenting, please girls take control; kick these liars and cheaters out of your lives, live a free and happy single life instead of worrying about someone who doesn’t even worth you.

Is my hubby cheating: I've. Been married two years now and everytime I get off work my husbands phone is sitting beside him but they light is on like he just got off of it. When I ask to use his phone he gives it to me but he deletes things first. Lately he has been playing WORDFUED on his phone and he has been more intrested in it than me. I lay in the bed practically naked and NOTHING. WHENEVER HE go to a certain club he don't wwant me to go with him he always say he goin to his mom house but he ends up there. (Noticed this Friday) and he's been kinda anti social toward me all this week. What do I need to do? (Oh yeah u can CHAT on WORDFUED) maybe y'all should send him a request and flirt and let me no what happens.

It doesn't sound like he is: It doesn't sound like he is cheating, it sounds like he is just hanging out with her for companionship/ self-esteem boost.
I wouldn't get mad...
But if it bothers you so much, ask your husband if he can hang out with her less or cut off contact because she makes you feel uncomfortable. Doesn't sound like you have anything to worry about, though.

is he cheating?: me and my husbands relationship started off onthe wrong foot. i met him during a time he was seperating from his first wife. we began dating,from the beginning he started off witholding things from me. well a year into our relationship i find dirty picturs from a co worker of ours sent to his phone.he says it had to do with a bet and hes sorry he made the mistake. months later i find a number i his pocket,at the time i was 5 months pregnant.took it really hard but he pleaded that he had her number for work purposes. 4 months later i give birth and it seems like everything is starting to change.he even admit once the baby was born he startd taking our relationship serious.a year and nine months later pregnant with our second child he starts acting real ugly,starting fights for no reason and would rather be workin than at home.after every argument he says if you dont like it you know what to do.he says im to controlling and he doesnt have any freedom.when he did have it he stepped all over it. what can it be? has he lost interest in us?is he cheating?am i paranoid or insecure like he says?

he is acting secretive...: Well-iam a stay at home mom and my husband is always working. my problem is that he is always lyeing about everything even the small things he lies about. i tried to use his phone the other day and he squeezed my hand so i would not take it from him. he gets agitated and does not have good communication with me or the kids, he always wants sex from me but thats it. i never give it to him because he acts strange. he is always at work and just recently he blocked his friends from his facebook so i could not see his friends. so now i blocked my friends from him so he cannot see either. i never know what he is doing and i know there is a girl that works down the street from him that is related to a co worker of his and him and the girl are friends on facebook but i cannot get to her anymore because he blocked his friends from me. i dont know if he is cheating or wants to cheat-but i will not give him sex but i want to get a divorce because my kids and i dont deserve this from anyone. what do you'll think?

Is my husband cheating?: My husband is always nice to me.We are married for about 11 months,he always said he loves me very much,he will always be there for me forever,and i'm the only one for him.He treated me so nicely and we don't even have an argument since we have known each other until we now,I admit we've always been good together.We already have pretty little girl,she's 1 month old plus...my husband came from work with a very nice gift...a mosses basket,cardis that were knetted,loads of different dresses for newborn...and then i asked my husband if he bought it all and then he said no, this gift is from a lady friend of mine,who worked with him and his dads before,,my husband said,she is a very close friend...then i said to him..oohh she is very generous,,she's given our child loads of things,,why did she do that?and he said,she is just very nice and maybe she likes babies...then he said to me maybe we can go to her place to say thanks to her...and then we went on her place,we bring our child with us...when we are on her place already,,i started to feel different because he already knows where this lady lives and he even know how to open the door because that door needs a password to open...and then he knows where is her room already,,it very clear for me that he's been there already before because he knows it all,,but i really love my husband so much...even though i started to suspect him that maybe his cheating..i still trust him and my feelings wont change...but one night i ask him of what's the story about that lady,,he always says she's just a friend...he said to me are you jealous sweetheart?then i said no,i just want to know about her...then he said you don't need to be jealous because why do i want her,she is old and you are young and you know that i really love you so much and we have a child already,we both do things together,i didn't go out with friends,and if im not at work im with you,and most of all nothings changed with me,and we also didn't argue...but what makes me think is that yes if he is not at work he is with me all the time,,but what if he is at work then maybe on his break time he is with this lady,,because i checked his phone,,he phone this lady on his break time,,and then it registered on his phone that this lady also phone him,,then i ask him why this lady phone him,,then he said just saying 'hi' as a friend...i really don't know what to do,,and what to believe,,is my husband cheating?is all he told me are lies?please help...i need an advice of what to do....i'll be very please if someone will give me an advice for this because i can't stop thinking about this all....thank you and god bless!!!

is my husband cheating with my friend: Me and my husband have been togeather for 5 yrs now. But lately Im not sure what to believe. I have a friend that is my neighbor. But she is a big whore she sleeps with men while her steady boyfriend is at work. Now I'm not sure if its just because she sleeps with everybody that she comes in contact with or is it that he could really betray me. I never put nothing past anybody & I do some trust issues but even when i'm at work i think about if hes is doing something with this lady.. See i work mon -fri 8-6. He gets off at 2-4 most of the time he gets off at 300. Now I have found out that he has been calling her while we are at work and I ask him why did you call her He tells me something like oh i just wanted to see what she was doin or wanted to talk to somebody & your at work, or sometimes oh why are you juluse that im calling her. So I blow that off but heres the thing when I see her later that day she wont say anything to me about him calling her. Now I know if her man was calling me even just to talk I would tell her. So now I cant believe her. Lately he has been very moody, I came home from work one night & he was at her house but he was outside so I didnt have a promblem with well he came home yelling me & the kids and I didnt know what to think becausse we just walked through the door. Now I have no proof of it but I feel something is not right with this. What should I do?

How I caught him cheating!: I was cheated once by my ex bf (he is my ex since then hehehe). I was smart enough at that time to buy myself one of these software that track mobiles. I was suspicious already, but that day he told me a series of events that didn't really match together. So when he went for his supposedly meeting, I tracked him and located him in another part of the town.

So I went there thanks to that spy software, i knew the building because we went there a few times to some parties organized by one of his female colleague (married). I gave 50$ to the security to let me in saying i want to make a surprise to my friend. I got there, the apartment door was not even locked, the lusty bastard was probably too much in a rush to get laid, so I went in with my video on on my mobile and broke into the bedroom where he was just about to release his load in her mouth. He turned and released his load all over the place. They were very surprised indeed. And I caught it all on cam hahahaha!

Needless to say that he never saw me again after that day, despite the Gucci bag he sent me, a few pairs of shoes, bunches of roses, and even a nice necklace. I sold them all on eBay (except for the roses).

If you suspect your man to cheat on you, just be confident. Don't think too much. Act! Take things in hand, if you are interested in this tracking soft you can always check it out there: http://bit.ly/eYzY5P (and the funny thing: I bought it with his credit card at that time hahahaha!). I highly recommend it. Go to the "crime scene"make them understand that you are not a fool, and just turn the page.You will probably get some nice presents too but don't fall for that! You deserve them.

How can I move past this?: After 35 years of marrage I am pretty sure my husband caught an STD that is life long while in Vegas for work. It has been 2 years now and we have had sex 2 times. When he first came home he told me something was wrong and went to the Dr after usual Jock itch creams didn't work. He said the Dr told him he caught body lice from the motel sheets or robe if he had been faithfull...and he said he was. Well then he got sick..couldn't breath...but we did see that one coming as he was a smoker. So I patiently waited for a whole year...waiting for him to be well enough to be intamate with me...Well, he got better and even though we are both early 50's and things are slower then the old days I Know they aren't over. Anyway, Then I try and he says I think I have a urinary infection and found out he had been back to a DR. Now a year later he finnaly gives in to me and comes to bed with long johns and t shirt on as well as a condom ( I can not have any more kids ). Says something about urinary infection again and how he is concerned I would catch it. Presure to see a Dr is met with yes yes until he really has time then it is ok but not right now I'll call later. Supposedly there is no burning or hurting or leaking going on. I think he would be so full of puss that it would take a fire hose to put it out when he urinated at this point and I know in my heart that It has all just been a put off.
This man is the love of my life and for better or for worse. I have been with him since I was 15 and in the earlier years we stuck through both of our growing pains. Our kids are grown. I am no longer atractive or at least not what I once was. Over weight, Body giving out, plain out old. I can't work anymore..... I am totally dependent on him. Should I fell gratefull he is still sticking around a supporting me or should I push for at least the right to yell scream and cry? Should I leave and move home to mommie after all these years? He comes home every night but every other weekend I belong to a card club and because we have one car I get dropped off and picked up...he NEVER answers his phone during these nights. If I give up my club I am tottaly isolated and house bound unless he takes me to eat or something. I just plain hurt! If he caught something he can share this with another woman? I truelly think he still cares about me because of little things but.....the things that really matter like intemacy are not in my life anymore.

Make your spouse your number: Make your spouse your number one priority. With work and kids demanding your constant attention, it's easy to cut the other adult in your life. But someday it will again just be the two of you, and you are going to conceive that you no longer really know the person sleeping beside you. Take a second each day for your mate and let them know you're thinking about them throughout the day.

He wants to try again: He cheated, not the first time he wants one last chance. Is it wrong to want details? I wanted to see the history on his phone and and his email. I wanted to see who he was talking to.

I want to put a program on his work computer that gives me every stroke he enters, and I want full access to his cell phone. (although he will get a new throw away if he wants to) He also has to come clean with his family and go to therapy 2 times a week.

Hi everyone ... Join the divorced women's social network here : A friendly hello to all of you who posted comments here, and to let you know that if you join the FWW social network and post your comment in the "blogs" section, you'll be able to connect and find support from many women going through many of the same things you are. It's a private, secure social network for women contemplating, navigating or moving beyond divorce. There's a very supportive community of women going through what you're going through, and if you post your issues or challenges there, you're bound to get honest, sincere advice from the women of the network.
Just go here and sign in: http://community.firstwivesworld.com/?page=home
I hope this helps! It certainly helped me :)

No man is worth it.: I have been married to my husband for almost sixteen years and I can't take another day of lies. He has never told me the truth in our entire time of marriage and now I think the lies are protecting his girlfriend. I believe in marriage forever and ever, but the grim reality is it in just what you make of it and one person can't make a marriage. I have three boys with this man. I knew he lied about almost everything he tells me, but I never thought it would be a lie about another woman. Just didn't think it could happen to me. He loves me, he comes home to me every morning. He touches on me when we are together in a store and makes me feel like a stupid teenager. He can't cheat on me. Wrong!!!! Family trip to Orlando, my boys rode with my husband. At the end of the trip, my fifteen year old son tells me his dad needs to grow a set and tell me the truth. My heart was in my throat. The most horrible feeling of betrayal. He would not do this to me. I talked with him, he cried, and I took him for his word. He starts losing weight, dressing different. He tells me he is trying to get healthy. He even wore cologne. I cried a little and took him for his word. My mom owns a uniform shop. He goes with me to get some scrubs for around the house. I notice he put something in his arms and left the store. I followed him and asked about what he had. I found a xsmall top, pretty yellow. I cried and we talked and I took him for his word. Just last week, we went to the shop again and I saw him putting something up is shirt. I questioned him and he denied having anything under his arm. I went and lifted his shirt and he had a xsmall scrub top, pretty pink. I screamed a bunch, cussed him, and told him to take me home. Now I asked him for the password to the cell phone account and he tells me he will give it to me, but this won't help us. I will just cause another problem and will start checking other things. He says I will never be satisfied. I am crazy. Obviously, I guess I am. I am crazy for loving him, believing him, trusting him, sharing my most intimate secrets with him. I am not happy. I can't shake depression. I was losing weight, but with my stress level, I can't think rationally. I keep thinking things will get better and that I might be over-reacting. Not a chance. The signs are here and I am not seeing them. Is there someone that can give me some advice? I know what is right and what is wrong, but I am not good at cutting ties with someone I thought would be my life partner. I believe married should be for life. You have to make it through tough times, but with each other, that should be enough.
Help, overweight, not dumb!!!!!!!

when you have a husband who: when you have a husband who always chooses conflict with you rather than conflict with his ex-wife....what does that mean????????? he calls ME paranoid...but he has always sided with his ex over me....he callls me the 'love of his life' but in any situation (many many situations) he has always picked HER - how can i believe this man???? he wants me to belive him. am i a fool? i think i have been a fool. i have a baby with ithis man....a beautiful INNOCENT babt. WHAT SHOULD I DO? my soul is dying with this man...i have alwyas been faithful imy heart mind and body, but he has not shown me the same. help

IS MY HUSBAND CHEATING??: I been married for 3 n half yrs and i know my husband for 7 n half yrs I love my husband with all my heart but lately I felt like sometime is not right about him, my friends and family think he can be an ass hole time to time and I can related to that but in the same time he can be a sweetheart.
about 2 month ago I had fight with him and we did not talk to each others for weeks and there would be a time I would come home late and he did not show that his mad or upset that I stayed late hanging out with my friends, we started talking again not that long ago and I notice something different about him that his way to nice to me and we hardly fight and he become more kind and willing to cooperate, considerate and also willing to communicate he been treating me like a princess which is a plus but there is some thing I’m not happy about him is lack of sex, we hardly have sex lately every time I come on to him he always making excuses either he don’t feel good or his tired and I confronted him if he sleep with some else or if he still attractive to me he respond is he never cheated on me and still very much attractive to me I mean he always with me on week days or weekend I mean I work 9-6pm and he work from 6:30am- 4pm he never leave my sight when we together, we used to have sex everyday at least twice a day and is not like that anymore and it really get to me I mean every time I changed in front of him he always touches me and now he don’t even care, there would be in the middle of the night he would touch me and he won’t even be intimate with me like he teasing me, I mean he been treating me so great but in the same time the sex is not there anymore.
My brother notice that he change a lot and he been so nice which is I don’t know if that a good thing, I’m really worry about him cheating on me because we planning to have a family very soon and I don’t know what to do?? I mean sex is not everything but is just so weird from wanting having sex all the time and out of sudden just stop, i dont no if i being paranoid or stress Please help me……..Thank you.