Author Comments

EDIT: Daily first and front page again! Thanks guys! I was worried for a bit that it may not have lived up to the work I put in, so it's a relief to know you all enjoy it! Also, a quick note, even if I don't respond to many comments, I read all of them and consider all suggestions, and any simple ones I'll make an effort to fix.

OH MY GOD, I am so glad this is finally done. This is my first cartoon to use some new animation methods I learned, so it took FOREVER. I think it was worth it, though. The animation is smoother, the art is cleaner, and in the end, this WILL end up helping me work faster. For all the work I put in, it does seem just a tad short to me, but it was a fantastic learning experience. I hope you all find it to be...spectacular.

Also, I'd like to give a special thanks to Jazza for lending his voice and helping me a couple of times when I got stuck! :)

F.A.Q.

Q: What is that anatomical structure attached to his chin?

A: I don't know. It has been speculated that it may be a biological straw for drinking coffee while yelling at people.

Reviews

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars2011-09-02 23:54:22

The work you put in it paid off extremely well. The graphics are simply perfect. Good way to animate, good way to draw, good way to present(nice SFX and both menu's are nice too), etc.

What was missing however is an awesome script.

You had good parts like the mechanics, you kept yourself to the "not joke on the same thing more than three time or the audience will get bored" rule which is important for a comedy writer and the third time was good too.

But you started to fail towards the end.
There were two things before that; the red suit(really dry and bad joke) and the fact that we do not feel negative emotions towards fernando while the captain says he hates him. You have to make fernando something we do not like, like an idiot(just look at the minions in Mastermind) or handsome ego guy.

The biggest mistake however was the end. You just ran dry and made the end a drag. The end should be a climax, a punchline. Instead the last couple of scenes were a drag(not funny enough) and the ending, even though you patched it with the coffee joke, sucked(sorry to say so).

Most stories do not have a happy ending because everybody loves a cliché

, they have them because bad endings are negative

and audiences love very witty turn arounds. Just think of cool turn around endings in films you like.

And in films that do end bad, there's some scene after the end that makes it all up. Your coffee joke wasn't funny enough to do that.

It's a nice cartoon, you could impress girls with it. But you have potential to do better, to achieve a greater amount of awesomeness.

Make your next one a master piece, without flaws, just like other masterpieces like Bambee by El-Cid.

Just take into accounts the small yet spoiling mistakes you made here
and succeed in achieving epic funny perfection in the next one.

Write an awesome script for the next one as you draw it as comic, and perfect it into pure awesomeness.

Well, I appreciate the honest review and all the suggestions, and I'm happy you enjoyed the animation at least. I'm a still a bit inclined to disagree, though, not just for ego's sake, but because most of the things mentioned were entirely intentional decisions that I felt fit a goofy comedy sketch rather well. I personally find deviation from norms refreshing, especially with the endings. As an example of the depressing ending that stays depressing to the last minute, I offer one of my favorite comedy short films, "Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog."