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Sandwich beautiful?!!

Sandwich beautiful?!!

I was flipping through the channels, on the TV, stopped for a second. It was a man and a woman on a date. They were on a hilltop overlooking the ocean. They start whipping out food. I'm like "Oh how nice a picnic!"

I said this not knowing what was about to transpire.

THe lady hands the dude a sandwich. He grabs it looking at it, "Oh WOW, this is BEAUTIFUL!" "You do this?"

Now I don't know if he was kissing ass or creating convo... Either way shut the fuck up, you man version of Martha Stewart.

I hope the sandwich lives up to its breathtaking ability and you choke to death.

When I call something beautiful it doesn't ever include eating it after.

(woman voice) "Thats so beautiful! I want to chew it up and shit it out."

I speak English and I don't think beautiful is the correct vernacular for 2 pieces of bread and the contents of a 2 in 1 squeeze tube.

The only time this should be acceptable is if you were just released from the gates of a concentration camp. Even then after a couple your like (hunched clutching stomach) "God damn sandwiches!" Never want to see you again!"

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About

Everyone experiences pain, of course. But a comedian has the ability to use their anger and intelligence to refocus and reconstruct their pain into entertainment. It's so obvious that it almost goes without saying, but comedians are generally more intelligent and sensitive than the average person. It's our undeniably superior (almost god-like) intelligence that made life difficult for us when we were children. We could see through the hypocracy and illogic of our parents and teachers, but because of our age and size we couldn't do anything about it. The more we pointed out the foolishness of our "superiors," the more they kept us down. But just as pressure and heat transform coal into diamonds, it's that frustration, social pressure and the heat of anger that transforms us into comedians.