Weekly Headlines – 02/04/12

South Africa have defeated India in a surreal, rain-interrupted T20 game in Johannesburg that took place just over a week after India’s Asia Cup campaign, five days before the IPL begins, and less than 48 hours after South Africa had returned from their tour of New Zealand. What I’m trying to say is that it was a well-timed well-organised thoroughly-important game of cricket. The Safricans flogged their way to 219 on the back of Colin Ingram’s 78, and Alfie Morkel’s sixteen runs off the final three balls of their innings. After rain halted play, the Indians couldn’t reach their revised target of 83 from 7.5 overs.

Matthew Wade is set to debut for Australia in their first test against the West Indies, coming up on the 7th of April. Darren Sammy, the West Indian captain, was quoted as saying “Matthew Wade isn’t worrying us too much. I mean, it’s going to be hard enough replacing Gilchrist as it is,” proving that even international players don’t know who Brad Haddin is. The buoyant West Indies are feeling confident after tying the ODIs and the T20s against an Australian team that was far more impressive on paper, but couldn’t handle Marlon Samuel’s offspin.

Jonathan Trott has caused outrage and eye-rolling after labeling England’s batting “a sin”. His local parish pastor has been quoted as saying that “it’s good that Jonathan can play cricket, because he was a rubbish altar boy.”

Graeme Smith, South Africa’s test-match captain will not play for the Poon-eyy Warriors in the forthcoming IPL, after opting to undergo surgery on his ankle rather than be in the same room as Saurav Ganguly and Michael Clarke.

In season 2011/2012, South Australia won their first one-day title in 25 years – but their captain, Michael Klinger, is making way for South African allrounder Johan Botha as the Redbacks’ head honcho. The Redbacks have won only one Sheffield Shield game in the last two years. When the press asked South Australian coach Darren Berry “what Klinger did wrong?”, he responded, “Absolutely nothing. Nothing. Nothing whatsoever. Michael did nothing wrong, nothing at all. Nothing. He didn’t do anything wrong. He didn’t. He’s fine. He’s cool, he’s alright, he didn’t do anything. He’s okay. He’s alright. He understands.” Michael Klinger couldn’t be contacted for comment, as nobody knows where he is.