You approach Satan's wretched city where you behold a wide plain surrounded by iron walls. Before you are fields full of distress and torment terrible. Burning tombs are littered about the landscape. Inside these flaming sepulchers suffer the heretics, failing to believe in God and the afterlife, who make themselves audible by doleful sighs. You will join the wicked that lie here, and will be offered no respite. The three infernal Furies stained with blood, with limbs of women and hair of serpents, dwell in this circle of Hell.

Hmm...

Clean up your act just one level, and you can join our Level 5 party!!!

Looks like I've been sorted into the Seventh Level of Hell. I get the intense pleasure of spending the rest of eternity swimming in a river of boiling blood beside assasins, tyrants and war-mongers. And if I get bored with them, I can slum with the hanging suicides in a gnarled, sinister forest or the blasphemers in a giant, demonic sand-box. Yay.

Guarded by the Minotaur, who snarls in fury, and encircled within the river Phlegethon, filled with boiling blood, is the Seventh Level of Hell. The violent, the assasins, the tyrants, and the war-mongers lament their pitiless mischiefs in the river, while centaurs armed with bows and arrows shoot those who try to escape their punishment. The stench here is overpowering. This level is also home to the wood of the suicides- stunted and gnarled trees with twisting branches and poisoned fruit. At the time of final judgement, their bodies will hang from their branches. In those branches the Harpies, foul birdlike creatures with human faces, make their nests. Beyond the wood is scorching sand where those who committed violence against God and nature are showered with flakes of fire that rain down against their naked bodies. Blasphemers and sodomites writhe in pain, their tongues more loosed to lamentation, and out of their eyes gushes forth their woe. Usurers, who followed neither nature nor art, also share company in the Seventh Level.

Sounds like a whole lot of fun!

Yep. I'll be there, too.

I've heard of Seventh Heaven, but Seventh Hell? Hmmm...

And I always thought I was a nice guy. I really had no idea as to how evil I was.