Entry 59 cont'd
Trey stepped back from me and held my chin up with his fingers. He gave me a look that asked the question, "Did you just say what I thought you said?"
I smiled, despite the slight pain I was feeling under my right eye.
"I was playing with her when I told her that I was pregnant. I guess she can't take a joke. She started everything, and while we were fighting, she threatened to kill our baby. I fought back as if I were really protecting our unborn child." I told him.
Trey looked as if he hadn't heard a word that I'd said. He pressed his hand against my belly. He asked me if I was sure that I'm not pregnant.
Trey doesn't know that for months I've been dying for that wish to come true, but of course, it hasn't. If it had, he'd definitely be the first one to know. I assured him of that. I asked him how he'd feel if I was pregnant and he told me that there would be no doubt and he'd stay with me forever.
"You would?" I asked.
"Where would I go?" He said.
Of course, I wanted to get started on that baby right away, but Trey playfully stopped my advances. He laughed and told me I needed to heal first.
"Hell, you should see her. That bitch is going to need a neck brace from now on." I told him. Trey walked into his bathroom and turned on the water. He told me to get undressed while he ran a bath for me.
"You need to relax."
I didn't protest. I love it when he pampers me. He knows exactly what to do.
I went into the bedroom to undress. Before long, I heard music coming from the living room. A beautiful song came on. Trey sang the words.
"A tornado flew around my room before you came, excuse the mess it made, it usually doesn't rain in southern California..."
I asked him whose song it was and he told me that his friend Frank had given him a mixtape to listen to. I stepped into the tub and let the soothing music and Trey's voice over the track put me in total relaxation mode.
After the bath, we did make love and I really hope that we made our baby this time.

Entry 59 cont'd
Unsuccessful hands tried to pry mine loose from Jasmine's thick mane. I kept pulling though. I pulled so hard that she was nearly doubled over on the ground beside me. I felt her kicking my legs. I kicked her back. A fury had grown inside of me. I was so tired of that crazy bitch. I really wanted to kill her. She had threatened my unborn child. Never mind the fact that I wasn't even pregnant. She thought I was, and she wanted it dead.
A painful cry came from her as I yanked her head down as hard as I could. Before I knew it, we were suspended in the air. I saw Eric's huge arm tucked underneath Jasmine's frame.
"Let go, Essence, please!" Chrissy said as she tried again to free Jasmine.
Eric and Charles were pulling us further apart from each other, until finally, I let go. My fingers ached from gripping her hair so tightly.
Swiftly, Charles carried me to the car and put me inside. Chrissy jumped into the other side. I watched through blurry eyes as Eric gently placed Jasmine on the ground. He leaned over and said something to her. Jasmine jerked herself away from him. Eric stood over her for a second and Jasmine seemed to cower away from him in fear. Eric turned and walked back to our car.
When he got in, Chrissy asked him what had he said to Jasmine.
Eric just shook his head slowly, anger gleamed from his eyes.
"She just lucky I'm a man. She still gon get fucked up for drugging me in Chicago, though." He said.
Chrissy muttered in Spanish and Charles chuckled a little. Even if I would have understood their little joke, I was in no laughing mood. I still wanted to kill Jasmine, but I was very careful not to speak the words.
It wasn't until I was alone with Trey that I spoke them. He was holding an ice pack to my face, and he told me that I shouldn't be fighting because I bruised too easily.
"I really wanted to kill that bitch. Really kill her." I said.
"You not a killer, E." He said as he held me against him.
"She threatened our baby!" I told him.

Entry 59 cont'd
The exchange between Jasmine and me happened so fast that Chrissy, who had been standing right beside me, barely had a chance to react. She stood in front of me and when Jasmine gained her footing and started toward me, she was ready.
"Back the fuck up, bitch!" Chrissy told her.
I was ready, though. I swiped at Jasmine with my tray, narrowly missing her because Chrissy pushed her out of the way.
"Yeah, you better use that tray, bitch!" Jasmine yelled.
I dropped the tray and tried to leap over Chrissy to get at Jasmine. I caught hold of her jacket, but lost my grip because Chrissy pushed her back again.
"Yo! Take this shit out to the parking lot. Y'all don't want me to call the cops." The manager shouted from behind the counter.
"No need for that, son. We leaving right now." Eric said. He and Charles had rushed into the restaurant from their posts right outside the entrance.
"Yeah, y'all better leave. I'ma get you Essence, watch." Jasmine yelled to me as another customer held her back.
Charles picked me up just as I tried to run back to punch her in her face.
"Don't threaten me you psycho bitch!" I grabbed a drink off of some body's tray and hurled it at her as I was being carried off.
"Missed, you weak ass ho!" Jasmine yelled. She was trying to make her way over to us. I kept searching for things to throw at her. I reached for a potted plant that was on a shelf by the door, but Chrissy quickly moved my hand.
"No, mami, you might hit somebody else." She cautioned.
Charles was telling Eric to start the car. At the same time, a paper cup hit Charles in the back. Jasmine had fired a weapon of her own.
"What the fuck!" Charles put me down abruptly and turned around to see the culprit. That gave me my chance. I ran around him and charged at Jasmine. Fists flew as we pounded each other and fell to the ground.
"I'ma kill that baby inside of you!" Jasmine snarled.
I pulled her head down by a fistful of hair and I tried with all of my might to snap her neck.

Entry 59
I had a run in with Jasmine today. It seems like every time she disappears for a while, she always resurfaces when you least expect her to. This time we ran into each other at a fast food restaurant. I had ordered and paid for my food. As I turned from the counter with my tray, there she was. At first she acted all surprised, as if she couldn't believe it was me. Then she tried to give me a hug. I put the tray in between us.
"If you don't get the hell away from me." I hissed, trying not to draw attention to us.
She looked surprised again, but she told me that she was really glad that I was alright.
"What the hell is up with you, Jasmine? This concerned act you're putting on is as fake as that necklace you're wearing." I snapped.
She felt for the necklace and for a second, she looked hurt. Then she gave me a crooked smile and leaned toward me.
"You're calling this necklace fake? Well you obviously don't like Trey's taste. He gave this to me after he found out that I was carrying his child. The intertwined hearts symbolize him, me and our baby." She spoke in a low voice, and her tone was steady. Her eyes were cold.
I wanted to knock that smirk off of her face, instead, I decided to play with her mind.
"Really? Well, I guess I'll be getting a necklace soon. I hope he chooses the same design, but I want mine in diamonds and platinum. He can afford that now." I held my tray in one hand and gently ran my hand over my belly. My smile was colder than hers. If looks could kill, I'm sure that I'm sure that I would have been dead on the spot.
She looked at my figure, then at my tray. Jealousy was written all over her face.
"You don't deserve to have Trey's baby growing inside of you. You're already poisoning it with this crap." Jasmine took her fingers and swatted at my tray. My milkshake and fries toppled to the floor.
I pushed the hard plastic tray into her chest and shoved as hard as I could. She stumbled backwards into the people on the next line.

Entry 58
Trey picked me up. The police still have my car, and I don't want it back. I told Daddy that when they're finished with it, I'd like for him to auction it off, and donate the proceeds to a charity that supports families who've lost loved ones due to senseless acts of violence.
Trey's Escalade is bulletproof and I've always felt safe riding in it. Daddy promised to buy me another car this week, and in the meantime, he's renting an armored car for me to travel in.
He was going to get CoCo one too, but she said that Evan already sent her car in to be customized with armor.
Daddy apologized to me and he told me that he should have had my car done in the first place.
I told him that he'd done enough by buying me the car in the first place. How could he have known that the car would end up being some jerk's target practice?
When we got back home, we found ourselves in the middle of a media frenzy. Not for me, but because one of my neighbors is doing publicity for a movie she's in, and it is now rumored that while they were still filming on location, she and her co-star had an affair and their is speculation that she could be pregnant by him.
It felt good not to be the intended target for the media for once, but I still felt bad for her. It's as though the word privacy has no meaning anymore.
We tried to sneak discretely into the building, but a reporter spotted us, and that was it. I watched as my neighbor threw me a grateful look, but she got the hell out of there. Kenny and Eric made sure that Trey and I had enough room to walk through the building's doors.
They reporters weren't permitted into the building, but still they called out questions and the camera men continue to record their footage.
I felt a little nervous, but the feeling subsided once we were in the elevator. Eric and Kenny left once we got inside of Trey's place, We didn't have any plans to go back out, so they didn't have to stay.
I got comfortable right away. It feels good to be back home.

Entry 57
I'm going home today. It's not that I don't love being back at home again, it's just that I miss my own stuff too much. I know that Ma is more worried than she's letting on because I over hard her telling Daddy that she feels I'd be safer if my bodyguards could live with me. Here, they'd have use of the guest apartment over the garage, and they could take shifts staying there. In my apartment, they'd be lucky to get a futon in the living room.
I keep telling her that I'll be extra careful whenever I go out. Of course I like having the freedom to just walk around on the property, and really feel secure because no one can get to me here, not even a sniper. But I want to go home. Besides, I have to face the world again one day.
Ma still wants to take me to Canada, but I found out that there's a very important charity event coming up, and she's the co-chairperson. She has to be there, not just for the event itself, but to oversee the planning for the event.
"You're my daughter. Don't you know that you're a hundred times more important to me?" She'd said.
"I know, but Ma, your foundation is important too. You plan this event every year, and you've never missed one. Those families you help, depend on you to be the face they see all the time. You've touched most of their lives on a personal level, so they're really like an extended family to you. Please be there for them, again." I told her.
Ma nodded her head, but she was still a little reluctant when she agreed. I told her that I'm looking forward to getting away, but I can wait. CoCo and I were blessed to not have been born with a brain disorder such as Autism, but through Ma's foundation we've met people our ages who were born with it.
Ma's tireless efforts through the years have brought a lot of help and hope to the families and people who live with Autism everyday. It's her passion to help as many as she can through her charity events and this year should be no different.
So, I'm going home today.

Just a little side note:
Y''all know how I am about my typos, lol, well I found another one. Originally, I'd written that Essence's mother's name was Myrna and Lovey's mother's name was Eva. I messed up by calling E's mom Eva too many times to re-tract it. So if you're a new reader, or if you're re-reading, or just catching up, and you notice the mistake, please bear with me.
Lol, okay, on with the story.

Entry 56 cont'd
Trey called me a little after twelve to show me his bowling score. He pointed his phone at the electronic scoreboard. I told him that I was impressed.
"We could use you on our team." I told him. I showed him our bowling game in full swing. My team was down by a few points, mainly because CoCo was too tipsy and she kept rolling out gutter balls. But we had Eric, so he kept us from losing by much.
Trey told me that he should have stayed here with me. I told him that it was ok, because I know that he needed to get out.
"Baby, I'ma crash at yo crib tonight because I don't wanna show up at your parents' house in the middle of the night."
I thought it was cute that he'd be sleeping in my bed, even though I wasn't going to be there. I reminded him that he's welcome here anytime, day or night, but I understand his reasons. He told me that he'd call me when he got home. I let everybody say good night to him, and I took my phone into the next room to say good night to him.
I must have had some kind of smile on my face when I got back to the others, because CoCo blew me up.
"I know Trey must have told you something really good just now, because that's the first real smile you've had in days." She said.
Everybody oohed and awwed at her comment, and Ma told them to leave me alone, because I'm in love.
Lovey's mother, my godmother, had also come to visit and she told me that there's nothing wrong with being in love, especially with Trey. She said that we really do make a great looking couple.
"Thank you, Mama Myrna." I said.
"Trey's a good dude." Eric agreed. "Wish he was here, so I could beat him in that boxing game." He said.
Daddy came in a little while later, and he decided to wow every one with movies of me and CoCo while we were younger. Every one laughed at our goofy adolescent antics.
"Don't laugh, you're in some of these too." CoCo said to Lovey.
Daddy showed one of Lovey, Chantal, CoCo and myself in a school talent show. It was hilarious.

Entry 56
Ma is the best. Daddy wasn't home when I went downstairs, but Ma offered to play with me. She's in great shape, and she bowls a helluva game. She even asked if I felt like having company come over. I didn't mind her inviting anyone over, so she invited Lovey, CoCo, Unique, Juicy and Chantal over. Chantal asked if she could bring her friend, Belle, and Ma told her the more, the merrier.
Since Nicole is still in town, I invited her over, and of course I invited Eric, Charles and Chrissy over.
Tiffany was supposed to be spending the night out, but Ma found out about her cutting school, so she's grounded.
She pulled me aside and begged me to ask Ma if she could invite over two of her friends. Of course, Ma wasn't having that.
"You'll see your friends during school hours on Monday. You're lucky I'm not cutting out your cheer leading practice. Now go to your room." Ma told her.
She shook her head at me as Tiffany walked up to her room, mumbling under her breath. It had been a long time since I'd seen that side of Ma. She's usually the nice one, but when CoCo and I got out of line, she was the one who disciplined us. Good for Tiffany. She needs to learn her lesson.
Ma had Millie, our maid, make snacks for our guests and I volunteered to make pitchers of pina colada and strawberry daiquiris.
Ma and I bowled two games while we waited for our guests. We talked about my feelings on the shooting. I let out all of my fears and feelings to her.
"Even though Frank thinks that any one of us could have been the intended target, I can't let go of the feeling that the shooter knew exactly where to aim the gun, as if he'd really expected me to be in the car." I said.
"Well everything is going to get taken care of. You know that Frank is going to keep me posted on everything, and believe me, that creep isn't getting a moments peace while he's in that jail. Remember, I have friends in high and low places." Ma told me.
I raised an eyebrow, but I won't ask any questions.

Entry 55 cont'd
Almost immediately, my tweet was re-tweeted, and I began to get thank-yous. When they tweeted for more details, I just told them that it's been hectic for the last couple of days and that he'll send them a confirmation soon. I wasn't worried about speaking for him because I know that Trey loves his fans and that he will be tweeting to them soon.
I got tweets from reporters who want to do interviews with me. I referred them to C. Nicole, my PR girl for a formal statement.
Someone re-tweeted @JazTreyzbabymumma. I don't follow Jasmine, but there was no mistaking who the twitter name belongs to. The tweet said that she hoped all was well with me and Trey and she wishes me and my family comfort and peace.
Her tweet was met with a lot of resentment. Other tweeters told her to go to hell, go kill herself, and other vulgar things she could do. They told her to leave me alone and leave Trey alone. I appreciated all of the support.
I called Trey to see if he was feeling better. He told me that he was at the bowling alley. As soon as the words were out of his mouth, people began tweeting it. I even heard screams coming through the phone. I laughed and told him to have fun.
I went to Trey's website so that I could read my favorite fan fiction story about Trey. The story was just getting good, but the author left us hanging again. I left her a comment to keep up the good work and to please post again soon.
Nothing is on TV, and I don't feel like sitting through a movie. I miss my own house. I miss Trey. I know that I would have had fun with him at the bowling alley, but just the thought of all of those people being there, watching our every move, shooting at us...
Okay, now I'm sounding paranoid, even to myself. I'm still shaken up, but I have to keep in mind that not everybody wants to shoot me. I'll just keep telling myself that.
I need a distraction. Maybe I should ask Daddy if he wants to bowl with me in our game room. He'll probably even let me win.

Entry 55 cont'd
I didn't really want to lie to Marco, but I didn't feel comfortable disclosing my actual location to anyone. I feel safer knowing that no one knows where I really am. I'm not worried about anyone finding me here because Daddy has this house guarded like like a fortress.
I sent Marco a text telling him that I'm alright. I thanked him for the ecard and apologized for him not being able to see me at the hospital. I told him that I'd definitely speak to him in a few days when I was feeling a lot better.
I got a few more emails from people wishing me well. One email stood out because I hadn't expected to see it, but then again, I wasn't surprised. It was from Jasmine.
The crazy chick told me that she hopes I'm alright and that she wishes she was in town so that she could make sure. She said that despite everything, she still cares about me and she's over Trey. She wishes us all the best and she hopes that one day we could all be friends again.
Honestly, I don't know what to make of it. I know that she's lying and trying to throw me off of her trail. She must think that I'm really dumb if she wants me to believe she's over Trey. Why even bother with me anymore, if she's over him? She shouldn't care whether I'm dead or alive, especially since there are still charges pending against her.
I wanted to curse her ass out, but I didn't feel like getting into an Internet war with her. I definitely wasn't going to call her. I chose to ignore the message.
I felt the nervous feeling I'm growing used to having intensify, and I didn't like it one bit. I don't like feeling like a scared little waif. Closure has to come to this situation, really soon.
I went to Trey's website and I noticed that he hasn't updated it. His fans all wanted to know if he'd been in the car with me and if he was alright. The Angels were frantic. One Angel wrote that she's been crying all day because she fears the worst has happened to Trey. I got on twitter and told everyone that Trey is fine.

Entry 55 cont'd
There's no doubt in my mind that the shooter really thought that he was shooting at me. The police don't want to entertain conspiracy theories, they have to go by the evidence that gets presented to them. They're not overlooking the possibility of me being the shooter's target, but I'm not the only one who rides in that car. They have to consider all angles.
Frank told Ma that my bodyguards were questioned about their personal lives and whether or not they may have enemies out there. He even asked Ma if they'd been receiving any unusual attention lately.
I bet it won't take long before the cops are questioning Trey also. Bringing that up when I was trying to calm him down would have only made Trey start to blame himself. He had been all for me getting the bodyguards in the first place, due to the haters and stalkers. He hated that there were people out there who hated me just because we're together.
The paparazzi and stalker fans have been keeping their distance as of late, but now this has happened, and the last thing I want is for Trey to be on a guilt trip. I know I put him through a lot when I accused him of cheating, but since we've let that go, I really thought that things were going to be great for us.
Anyway...
I finally got Trey to calm down. When Kenny and and the guys showed up, I made Trey promise me that he wouldn't do anything reckless. He promised that he wouldn't and offered to take me to the movies.
I felt bad about turning him down, but I wouldn't go out in an armored truck right now. I'm just not ready. I made up a quick excuse, but I told him to go out and chill with his boys. I promised that if he comes back, I'd show him where Coco and I used to hide with the boys we would sneak into the house.
After Trey went out, I checked my email. Marco sent me a get well soon ecard. It's really cute. He said that he had tried to visit me at the hospital, but the nurses told him that no one was allowed in but family.
Aww, I feel bad. :(

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