ManFlu - The Parody.....

I started medical school in University College Cork in 1991. Six years later I started working as a junior hospital doctor in Cork, Limerick, Tralee and Mallow. I completed my intern year, two years of internal medicine and three years of GP training. I have worked in Cork City as a full time GP for the last 12 years. It is safe to say over the years I've seen a few things that would make the hair stand on the back of your neck. We had bird flu, then swine flu (which it was predicted would result in a significant number of GP deaths - thankfully for yours truly that turned out not to be the case!) and we've had the seasonal flu epidemic every year. Now in all that time I have never once diagnosed a case of Man Flu! I suspect, however, that I have suffered from Man Flu on occasion and certainly my wife has told me on more than one occasion that I have the Man Flu!

So just what is Man Flu and how is it diagnosed?

The first criteria for diagnosis is that the patient does actually have to be a man! Ladies - thank your lucky stars you cannot suffer from the Man Flu! As a GP this does make our job somewhat easier - if a lady comes to see us we can be sure that whatever affliction the poor thing might have she does not have the terrible Man Flu.

Furthermore the patient will look okay - from across the room he may not appear unwell at all.

He will however feel terrible - he may feel like he will never see another day at work... he certainly will not diagnose this as the Man Flu.

The poor fellow will take to the couch - this is vital. No couch - No Man Flu! If he phones in sick to work but after breakfast feels bored and heads to the man-shed or to his train in the attic this is not the Man Flu. So there he is on the couch, TV remote control in hand waiting for the grim reaper... but something is missing in the Man Flu equation?

A woman! There will be a female carer in the picture - sister, girlfriend or wife (normally not mother-read on). At the start of the day this lady will be very sympathetic offering to help, bringing hot drinks, tending to his every need.... As the day goes on this sympathy will gradually be replaced by sarcasm until the sarcasm cannot be controlled any longer and this once sympathetic carer will call it - "Get up for Heaven's sake...It's only the Man Flu!"

Where did it come from and what are the treatments for it?There are several theories surrounding where Man Flu came for. It has been suggested that ladies are protected from the terrors of Man Flu by hormones or even that evolutionary processes have protected women due to their vital role in reproduction. However the theory gaining most credence currently is that the the Irish Mammy is actually to blame for Man Flu. Picture Mammy's golden boy (of which I thankfully was one!) growing up. At every sniffle from the little pet Irish Mammy is reaching for the tissues, pouring in the paracetamol, running to the doctor, tucking him into the couch... The poor devil grows up totally unskilled when it comes to dealing with even the most minor illness! Thus when Man Flu strikes he takes to the couch.

Treatment and recovery time really depends on the quality of care the poor Man Flu sufferer will receive from his nominated female carer. Now this lady may feel helpless as she watches the victim in misery suffering on the couch. The Man Flu victim can ease this lady's feeling of despair by showing signs of improvement as she cooks his chicken soup, wipes his brow with a damp cloth, brews the tea, gets his newspaper and ensures that his TV watching is not disturbed (especially important if there are children in the house).

Thankfully full recovery from Man Flu is the norm and within a day or two most Man Flu sufferers are on the mend and back to work!

Dr Nick Flynn IMC is Medical Director and a GP working in Union Quay Medical Centre.