Your Friendly Neighborhood Femme Mom Bookworm

You know, no straight guy has hit on me in…ok, a long time. It used to happen woefully frequently (I even used to think I was straight, more’s the pity!), but now that I’m in my 50s, I’m not actually seen as a sexual being out in the straight world. Offensive, actually, but fine with me! However, I work with queer youth, and harassment by straight men is a daily horror for them. I adore and appreciate hearing from young queers like Alyssa about how to navigate the current reality whilst femme!

Deep gratitude for Alyssa for her honesty and generosity in sharing experiences and tips, for her nuanced understanding and explanation of life as a feminine lesbian – “no, I’m not going butch later; no, I don’t need to look like Justin Beiber in order to be gay; sometimes I have to act like a bro to get a straight guy off my back; and if you ask me about my nails I’ll just say, “BAHAHAHA!” – and for her sweet love for lesbians and for all queers.

Every Friday, I showcase a queer femme goddess. I want to feature you! Write to me at thetotalfemme@gmail.com and let me shine a spotlight on your beautiful, unique, femme story!

At the Total Femme, my intention is to post three times a week: Meditations for Queer Femmes on Monday, Pingy-Dingy Wednesday on Wednesday and Femme Friday on Friday. Rather than play catch-up in a stressful fashion on those weeks when life prevents posting, I have decided to just move gaily forward: if I miss a Monday, the next post will be on Wednesday, and so on. Thank you, little bottle of antibiotics for inspiring me in this! (“…ifit’s almost time for the next dose, skip the missed dose and continue your regular dosing schedule. Don’t take a double dose to make up for a missed one.”)