Thursday, November 26, 2009

Hi everyone and Happy Thanksgiving! I know you've been wondering about me so I thought I'd post today and say hello. It's nice and sunny here in Miami, so I climbed off the window sill where I was sunning myself to make my post.

You know, "some people" think that I don't post as often as I should and they're probably right, but you have to remember that I've got seven toes on each front paw and typing isn't my forte. Nevertheless, I am posting today to say hello to everyone and bring you up to date on what's happening in my life.

Things are laid back and life is good. You-know-who always seems to be busy with his new toys. He just got a digital camera and he has no idea how it works. Instead of reading the instructions, he just keeps taking pictures of me and then mumbles under his breath when the camera doesn't work the way he thinks it should.

The fun part for me is when he tries to practice by taking pictures of me. I always strike cute kitty cat poses and just when he gets ready to take my picture, I move or look away and that makes him say bad words and yell at me. I always act like he hurt my feelings, but inside, I'm cracking up. I hope they find a good home for me when they take him away to the home.

Sometimes, there's just no pleasing him. He's got a new recording studio and spends a lot of time recording his songs. I sit there patiently and listen to him, but every time I want to add a "meow" to the song, he gets bent out of shape. Personally, I think I sing pretty well for your average cat, but he doesn't seem to think so. I guess there's just no accounting for good taste.

My Pictures: I thought that these pictures of the various animals were funny, so I thought I'd show them to you. These photoshop people really do a nice job. Maybe when what's-his-name figures out how to work his new camera, I'll show you some of my current pics.

He says I'm getting fat just because I tried to jump up on the counter the other day, but I didn't quite make it and had to abort. It kinda strikes me funny when someone calls someone else fat and that certain someone has to inhale to button his jeans!

The Cats Meow And Puppy Dog Tales: Two prawns, Justin and Christian, were constantly being threatened by sharks that inhabited the area. Finally, one day Justin said to Christian, "I'm fed up with being a prawn. I wish I was a shark, then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten."A large mysterious cod appeared and said, "Your wish is granted." Lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate. Time passed and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely. All his old friends simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realize that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.While swimming alone one day, he saw the mysterious cod again and he asked the mysterious fish if he could change him back into a prawn. The cod agreed and he found himself turned back into a prawn. With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail.Looking around the gathering at the reef he realized he couldn't see his old pal. "Where's Christian?" he asked. They replied, "He's at home, still distraught that his best friend changed sides to become a shark."Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain, he set off to Christian's abode. He opened the door and shouted, "It's me, Justin, your old friend. Come out and see me." Christian replied,"No way man, you'll eat me.Justin cried back "No, I've changed. I've found Cod and I'm a Prawn again Christian."

A man came home with a birdhouse one day. His wife kidded him, asking how many birds could afford deluxe accommodations in our suburban neighborhood. "Leave that to me," he repled.. Soon that birdhouse was dangling from a tree with a neat sign that read: "Room for wren--cheep."

Two guys were walking in the woods one day, and they all of a sudden came across a bear. The bear noticed them, and started to chase one of the guys, who, as it turns out, was from Czechoslovakia. The bear soon caught up with him, and ate him alive. The other guy turned around and ran for his life.A little while later, the second guy found a park ranger station and told his story. The ranger took his gun, and they both went out in search of the bear, in order to destroy it. Soon, they came across two bears, one male, and one female. The ranger turned to the other guy and said, "Quick, tell me which bear ate your friend!"The ranger aimed his gun and got ready to shoot. The other guy said, "I'm not really sure, they both look similar." The ranger said, "Make up your mind!" The other man said, "O.K., it was the male." The ranger promptly aimed and shot the female bear. The male ran off.Using his knife, the ranger cut open the belly of the female and found the body of the other man's friend. He said, "But, why didn't you shoot the male when I thought it was the male who ate my friend?" The ranger replied, "Well, I never trust anyone who says that the Czech's in the male!"

A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. "I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink."

The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks were delivered.

The man stood up again and made another offer. "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try." A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A old woman timidly spoke up, "I'll try, but don't hit me on the head with that beer bottle."