Thursday, March 5, 2015

CORELLIAN SYSTEM - Spotting the freighter craft of the notorious spice smuggler Han Solo, Millennium Falcon, Imperial gunners reported having shot down this infamous craft. Search crews are combing golf courses throughout the system looking for debris.

The Empire has placed a bounty on the capture of the smuggler, as well as an 'incompetence penalty' on Imperial units failing to apprehend this fugitive.

Solo is reported to be in the company of a Wookiee and a protocol droid notorious for predicting that ships will not evade Imperial gunners. It is clear that the droid in question was optimistic in this instance.

Scurrilous reports of Han Solo's obese weight being the cause of the downing are to be considered unpatriotic towards our Imperial gunnery crews.

Speedy revovery, Harrison. Stop doing these sorts of things to yourself. We want to keep you.