Tackling abuse: Jess's message of courage and hope

Adam Cooper

Jess Clark's biggest step stemmed from the smallest thing. It began when she forgot to log out of Facebook on the home computer and her younger brother, Brandon, got nosy.

Soon he approached his sister asking about sexually explicit messages he had discovered, sent to Jess by their stepfather.

‘‘The messages were of such a type that I really couldn't dispute what it was so I broke down and told him everything,’’ Jess recalled of that afternoon two-and-a-half years ago.

Within 24 hours she was receiving support from Centre Against Sexual Assault staff and police had begun an investigation that led to a jail term of almost 19 years for the stepfather, for what a County Court judge described as the depraved, debasing, dehumanising and degrading sexual abuse of a girl from when she was 13 to 17 years old.

Now 20, Jess is learning to function as part of a family with her brother and father, Simon, and wants to make up for years of a childhood that were so traumatic, angry and confusing they are now foggy.

Jess is also determined to encourage anyone who is in the place she once was to find the courage to report sexual abuse. Last Thursday she gave her first public address on the issue, at Reservoir High School, to help promote a booklet for young women who have been sexually assaulted, produced by Northern CASA.

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She shared with a gathering of about 60 some of her story, expunged myths surrounding sexual abuse, highlighted the importance of having people believe victims, and said recovery was possible.

‘‘All it takes is a little bit of courage to take that first step,’’ she told the group.

Afterwards, Jess said she wanted to continue putting aside any trepidation she had about public speaking to help foster discussions about a subject few went near.

‘‘I know a lot of people dismiss sexual assault, so my goal is to get up there and make them realise it exists,’’ she said. ‘‘The only scary thing is talking to people who don't want to hear what I'm talking about. But I'm going to force them to listen to me and understand this happens.’’

Sexual abuse in Australia happens on an alarming scale. By the time girls turn 18, one in three will have been sexually assaulted, while the corresponding figure for males is one in six.

Authorities recorded almost 20,000 incidents of abuse last year, but Charmaine Farrell, the Northern CASA manager, suspected that figure could climb by one-third if all incidents were reported. Ms Farrell said cultural change was needed if more people were to report sexual abuse.

‘‘"It's terribly hard for people who are traumatised because there is a huge overlay of shame because you are weakened by someone else in a way,’’ she said.

‘‘I really felt how wonderful it was to see Jess stand up there and be so strong sharing [her] story. It was an inspiration."

Not all reports of sexual abuse result in criminal action and, of those that do, the effects of courtroom challenges, delays in proceedings and low conviction rates can deter others from speaking up.

Jess told a school counsellor of her stepfather's offending three years before his Facebook messages were discovered. Police investigated, but she was coerced into recanting the report by her stepfather and mother.

‘‘I was done with that [reporting] after the first time at 14, that was it for me. I was resigned to this fate and that it would end where it would end,’’ she said.

Although she now considers herself a positive, extroverted person, her ordeal has had an enormous cost. She considered suicide, became isolated and "not a nice person to be around" and eventually lost her relationship with her mother, who supported her husband over her daughter when legal proceedings began.

The legal rollercoaster brought the fear of waiting to give evidence in court, but the relief of hearing her stepfather plead guilty and ultimately, a large jail term. But in July he had five years cut from his sentence on appeal.

Jess' father had only just reached a better place after a long struggle with depression when details of the abuse emerged. Simon said he called on everything he had learned in the preceding years to avoid spiralling down, even though he felt capable of murder.

Instead, after a few torturous weeks, he and his children chose not to be defined by the horrors they were to confront and together fought for what he calls a "just ending".

Simon has written a book detailing his experiences and like Jess, wants to mentor others, to "give people the opportunity to see that no matter how far you go down there is a way out".

At Reservoir High, Jess was heartened to hear students speak of what they had learned in CASA workshops. Girls admitted they had a broader understanding of their rights and consent, while one boy hoped he and his peers could bring about ‘‘generational change’’ towards abuse.

‘‘If you're going to do anything, let it out,’’ Jess said. ‘‘The most unhealthy thing you can do if you've been abused is to hold it in. It's more damaging to you that way.

"And as a friend, if someone comes up to you, don't knock them back. Believe them. Do something about it. Be a friend to them.’’