Month: April 2012

This is about the time of year when ants start invading people’s houses.

Unfortunately, they have decided to invade mine.

They’re all over my room. Every time I turn around, they’re there, slowly crawling along the top of my wall. I am way too short to reach them when they’re up there, and they know it. I have to stand still and wait for them to come down.

When they finally do come down, I’m so pissed that I squish them with toilet paper, light them on fire and flush them down the toilet. I know, you’re thinking, “How could you be so evil!?”

Let me explain:

They’re breaking into my house and crawling on me while I sleep. Then, they’re chewing on my dresser, curtains, and carpet. They don’t pay rent, either. If they paid rent and stayed out of my room, I’d let them stay.

Also, if I squish them and they aren’t dead yet, it would be cruel to just leave them to drown in the toilet. Therefore, the fire is necessary. It kills them instantly and they don’t feel a thing.

It’s no different than some guy crawling into your window dressed as an ant, crawling on you while you sleep. You’d burn him too.

Lucky for them, we are currently broke and have no money for an exterminator! So I hope they enjoy their stay.

One time I got so mad because one ant wouldn’t walk towards me, that I just started swearing at it. This of course, made his little black butt run faster. I decided to name him Gilbert. I followed him around my room until I saw him crawl under the trim around my window.

Apparently he told on me to his friends, because now I no longer see just one ant. There’s always four or five at a time. And I can always squish the rest, because they eventually crawl down to the carpet, but Gilbert will walk into the corner and just sit there so I can’t reach him. He’s mentally torturing me.

I have a feeling the Gilbert will be one of the last ants to die. He’s smart, stuck up, and stubborn. Most of all, he’s one ant out of the whole colony.

The pictures posted below are self explanatory. They understand me. And because I’m an awkward person that likes to make people uncomfortable, (and who’s always succeeding) I give you colorful winky faces.

Within the first few days of school, Mr. Skonecki made us create a WordPress account and told us to write a blog post every day. He told us blogging would improve our writing. While I must admit it has, I believe there is another reason.

Mr. Skonecki, along with the rest of adults, is working with the government to turn us into stalkers. After blogging every day, most of us check other people’s blogs to see what they did yesterday or this morning or whenever. He’s making us do this for a grade too. And without thinking about why we’re doing all of this, we just go right ahead and do it. It has become a habit.

The main plan, I figured out, is to turn us into expert stalkers so we can spy on other countries. After all, isn’t it important to know if Russia is building a bomb, or if Japan is secretly planning to steal our Twinkies so they can have the world’s biggest people? What if Japan and Russia are working together to destroy Twinkie factories? Americans might actually become *dun, dun, dun..* thin.

Ahh… I don’t know. Next time you put up a blog post, think about why you’re doing it and who will see it. The government is tracking our progress on the Stalker Meter.

I think we’re Mr.Skonecki’s favorite class. We start mosh pits on the playground, throw oranges at each other, and make up stories about him secretly being part of the government. He loves us.

This weekend I am again stuck at my mom’s house, and would do anything to be able to stay at a friend’s.

On Thursday, I had to ride out to Jason’s girlfriend’s house because he wanted to go right away. As a result, I got home at 5:00pm and ended up falling asleep on the couch until my dad picked me up. I also discovered this website, Da Causes, that makes t-shirts dedicated to raising awareness about the social causes affecting young people. (I really want the blue shirt they’re coming out with) Emily showed it to me; Apparently it’s run by one of her friends. Check it out:

*I have decided not to post every day, as it is hard to find a topic and I want this blog to be as professional as possible. I have a few readers that are from outside the class. I think either way I’ll get an A if I skip a day because most of my posts are a freaking book. I hate writing about what happened yesterday because every day is the same to me.*

I have thought about the questions people ask me all the time and I’ve finally decided to answer those. So basically, don’t ask me them ever again. Unless I’ve just met you, then you’re an exception. *gives creepy smile*

Why do you always wear black jeans?

For that I have a simple answer: Because I’m not rich and black is the only color that looks good on me. Blue jeans are so… normal. In case you haven’t noticed, I am not normal, nor do I come from a normal family who can teach me how to be normal.

What is your goal in life?

My goal in life is simply to be happy. Wealth, material objects, and a thousand Facebook friends don’t make me happy. Real friends, on the other hand, do. They make me want to move on with life and are probably the only reason I’m talking to you right now. If you ask me that question referring to jobs, I’m not sure yet. I was thinking of becoming a lawyer because when I actually want to stand up for something, I’ll say what I need to in order to win an argument. Not to mention the pay is great and would surely get me a big house in northern Wisconsin where I can raise a happy family and be happy myself. I know, these are big plans for a thirteen-year-old girl. At least I’m thinking big, so I’m more likely to live big. Other than that, I have no goals or plans in life other than to live it and die satisfied.

Why are you failing? You’re actually really smart.

The fact that people say “actually” scares me. Don’t I sound intelligent to you? Or did you have to look at my WKCE test scores to figure that out? I can usually tell someone’s intelligent by talking to them for five minutes or so. Anyway, a lot of factors go into that. The classic drama affected me in the beginning of the year, stress with my whole freaking family being in the hospital affects me now (I’m tired of hospitals. They smell like sadness.), and the everlasting problem of my mother has affected me my whole life. ADD is just a cherry on top of the sundae from hell. After going through the experience of dealing with my brother after his car accident, though, I realized that it’s better to get over things and live with them. If they don’t change, then you’re used to it. If they do, great. Throw a party and sing show tunes. Read my post, “Positive Outlook, Worry, and Taking Things Too Seriously” to understand what I’m trying to say.

Why are you obsessed with Jenna Marbles?

Alright, there’s a difference between being obsessed and just being a really big fan. Me discovering Jenna Marbles on the internet is like you discovering your twin sister who is 11 years, 10 months and 27 days older than you. So no, I am not obsessed. But if you want to know why I’m a big fan of hers, it’s because she’s awesome, thinks like me and she’s like an internet friend. You know, those creepy, one way friendships where you know who they are but they have no clue you exist? Yeah, it’s like one of those. But don’t worry, I embrace my inner creepy. You should too.

When did you get hot?

This question is mostly asked by guys… key word being mostly. I have… a stalker who has two moms and is following in their footsteps… But to answer your question, I must say this: In my eyes, my life began at the beginning of this year. I’ll admit that with all of the stuff I’ve gone through so far, it probably wasn’t the best place to “start a life”. But this is when I stopped caring about other people (In a good way, not being selfish.) and started caring a little more about myself in looks, personality… you get it. I just have more self respect. So if you find that “hot”, then there’s your answer, sorta. Otherwise I have no clue what you’re talking about.

Do you really think depression is a choice!?

Believe it or not, more than one depressed friend has asked me this. They ask it rather… forcefully, but I’ll give them an answer: Yes and no. No, it is not a choice to have to go through whatever may be stressing you out and launching you into a state of deep depression. I understand that. However, it is up to you to deal with that stress and blah, blah, blah. I sound like the health book now. Sure it may be up to you to deal with that stress the right way, but it takes experience to learn how to do that. So the real question isn’t stated above, it’s “Is it really my choice to figure out how to be normal?” No. It’ll happen eventually.

What is wrong with you? (Why can’t you be normal for five minutes, etc.)

This question goes back to number one. I have no one in my life to teach me how to live, act, and think like a normal human being. My brother, my cousin, my best friend, and my dad are my main influences, and they are far from normal. We do weird things and say inappropriate stuff in front of inappropriate people and such. It’s like every day is that weird event that happened at the family Christmas party.

I hope I answered your questions. If you have more weird questions that you are just DYING to know, then ask. I may be way too lazy to answer them, though, so if I shrug my shoulders at you and give you a “Meh.” Then consider yourself one lucky duck.