Sorry, Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes are Still Doing It

And now they’re doing it in PARIS. Isn’t that just sultry and smoky and romantic? Doesn’t it make you think of patisseries and antebellum-like architecture and gold-leaf patterned cafe-ware? It should. It should also make you think of Ryan Gosling sticking it in someone who probably can’t rub two brain cells and a book of matches together to cause a spark enough to power the wheel that the demented-assed mouse runs on inside her pretty little head and it should make you angry.

Shit, I’m 40 and have a problematic fascination. Actually, can I be honest. I just don’t like Eva Mendes. I’ve never seen anything she’s been in, I have no reason to not like her, but I’d really rather see him with anyone else but her. Of course, I come at the front of the line, but seriously, ANYONE else!