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Profess your love for friends this inaugural Pal-entine’s Day

By Ryan PorterEntertainment Reporter

Thu., Feb. 4, 2016

You shouldn’t have to be a Golden Girl to say “Thank you for being a friend.” On Thursday, Friday and Saturday, the cinema-sassing collective Drunk Feminist Films are raising their glasses in celebration of champion chums with the inaugural Pal-entine’s Day.

“There’s a lot of focus in our culture on romantic love and I think that friend love gets short shrift,” says Gillian G., one of the four founders of DFF. “Relationships are great, but even the best relationships require the support of a strong friend network.”

Inspired by Galentine’s Day, the earnest lady-brunch Leslie Knope throws every Feb. 13 on Parks and Recreation, the collective have set Pal-entine’s Day as a designated day of appreciation for their friends of all genders.

“I really love the rise of putting friendship on the same level as a relationship,” say Natalie Amber, a life coach who is speaking about friendship at the sold-out female friendship summit Girl Crush at the Gladstone Hotel on Feb. 10. “Instead of saying, ‘Who is Taylor Swift out with this time?’ in terms of the guy she is on a date with, say, ‘Who is she out with?’ in terms of who her friends are. It becomes just as important and relevant a role in her life.”

Amber will speak about “friendship fluidity,” an extension of concepts such as sexual and gender fluidity that encourages people to not get caught up on labels. “We may have hierarchies for relationships with other people,” says Amber. “But you might share a really intimate moment with a stranger on a bus and talk about something that you’d never said to anybody.”

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While Galentine’s Day has become an unofficial holiday over the past five years, DFF hopes that Pal-entine’s Day will celebrate all types of friendships.

“In general, culture doesn’t leave a lot of space for sincere male bonds,” says Amy Wood, another DFF founder. “We see a lot of surface male connecting over sports and shared interests, but I think those deep emotional bonds that men need between each other, we need to celebrate that.”

And while couples may get all the love on Valentine’s Day, it’s actual hearts that break when you don’t celebrate platonic relationships. Dr. Elizabeth Page-Gould, Canada research chair in social psychophysiology at the University of Toronto, says people with thriving friendships “show better health and resilience to future stressors over time.”

“You can become isolated if you don’t have a very strong social network outside of your romantic relationship,” Page-Gould says. Extreme loneliness even increased the chance of premature death in seniors by 14 per cent, according to research by the University of Chicago’s John Cacioppo.

Loneliness isn’t defined by the number of friends, either, says Page-Gould. “They don’t necessarily have fewer friends,” she says. “But they don’t feel as close to those friends or as connected to those friends.”

So by all means, harness the spirit of the season and make a pal feel extra appreciated. Drunk Feminist Films is encouraging heart-on-your-newsfeed declarations of friendship by offering a prize to thoughtful friends who tweet about their BFF with the hashtag #DFFpal.

“I definitely think a lot of people are interested in transforming these traditionally very exclusive holidays like Valentine’s Day, but also Christmas and Thanksgiving, to include friends in their chosen family,” says Amber. “Who are the people who are actually supporting me? Friendships are now maybe on par with romantic relationships as needing love, attention and support.”

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Five ways to celebrate Pal-entine’s Day in Toronto

These upcoming hangouts are perfect excursions for experiencing the true meaning of Pal-entine’s Day. A construction paper heart is optional.

Give me an F! The founding feminists of Pal-entine’s Day rah-rah for platonic relationships with three screenings of cheerleading classic Bring It On (two in Toronto and one in Kitchener). Featuring live commentary from the quick-witted hosts, who’ll cue you to drink (or holler, as is the non-alcoholic option) at depictions of gender both glorious and ghastly.

In celebration of Pal-entine’s Day, DFF is encouraging everyone to tweet the praises of their champion chums using the hashtag #DFFpal with a chance to win a prize (don’t worry, the prize is not just the joy of friendship; founder Gillian G. promises “something delightfully underwhelming”).

Formalize your blood brotherhood/sisterhood by getting your white T-shirts Jackson Pollock-ed in the carnage-coated splatter-zone at Evil Dead: The Musical. Plenty of blood has already been spilled over Dead’s two Toronto runs (the 2007-2008 revival played 300 performances), but director and co-creator Chris Bond is promising an even gorier splatter zone for the schlock horror comedy musical’s upcoming remount.

“In Toronto we’ve been the bloodiest, so we have to keep kind of topping the last time,” he says. “It’s not easy.”

In the market for a lighter shaped like a lipstick or a Wild West-style shirt heavy on the fringe? The so-hip-you-won’t-believe-it’s-on-King-St. Midnight MRKT, located above ping-pong club SPiN, is your place for handcrafted kitsch and savvily selected individualisms.

“It’s definitely more of a friend thing to do than a couple thing,” says Chloe Castonguay of 2nd Floor Events. “You trust your friends to tell you what you should and shouldn’t be buying.” Come hungry: the MRKT houses over two dozen food stalls, all washed down with tiki cocktails served in pints to ensure that organic cotton candy isn’t the only thing that leaves the building half in the bag.

Finally, the classic story of random creeps saying the most awkward things on dating apps comes to life. Live readers bring the best of their worst dating app stories to the stage, where they read their messages aloud alongside an actor, who plays the part of the “antagonist.”

Event organizer Stephanie Avery has been so overwhelmed with amazingly terrible stories from Tinder and beyond that the event has been extended over three nights. “If you’re having a good experience because of Valentine’s Day, that’s fantastic,” she says. “But if you’re not having a good experience, at least you can laugh about it with a bunch of like-minded people.”

What better place to celebrate friendship than at the festival that showcased early performances by Toronto’s own band of superfriends, Broken Social Scene? The annual not-for-profit musician showcase celebrates its 16th year with Montreal’s alternative folk-rock duo Thus Owls, ambient duo Prince Innocence and Versa, a rock band paired with a visual artist that uses sound waves to rattle ink into psychedelic patterns.

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