Sunday, June 22, 2014

Birthday Boys....A Piece of Cake

We've had a busy week. For one thing, it was Carson's birthday week (yes, we do birthweeks, not birthdays around here), so that started several days ago with just a few boys at Buffalo Wild Wings and a big cookie cake. There's no more appropriate way to welcome a boy into early manhood than with a party involving teeth ripping meat from the bone and fifteen big screen TVs all playing a different ballgame.

Davis, Blair, and I sat in the bar area, pretending not to know who they were as we felt this was the best way to chaperone a 14 year old party. Not that we were over there boozing it up or anything...it was just that the bar was as far as we could get from them and still remain on the premises. This may come as a bit of a shock to you, but we don't do much bar sitting, however, we found it to be lovely enough and tried to bring a bit of decorum and class to the area. In that, I feel we were successful.

There's just really not that much you have to do when chaperoning a boy party except keep the food coming and pay the bill, of course. Boys are just so easy. In fact, here's a picture of Davis getting some work done while simultaneously hosting the party. It's obviously been a long time since Davis sidled up to a bar, because I'm pretty sure he was the only one there with a laptop, a briefcase, and a large stack of papers.

Girl parties are like, "Take my picture with her and oh, take a group picture and I need a picture with her....oh my gosh, you've got to take that again.... I look awful!" Boys, on the other hand, scatter like roaches when you bring out a camera, so there's not much documentation of this birthday event. I did send Blair in there with the camera once, thinking that they wouldn't mind being photographed by his college age sister, but in the picture, they all look like they'd prefer to be having their bone marrow harvested. I did get a picture of the cake....which I found out later Carson had been in there selling to strangers who asked to buy a piece and adding a little height to his already impressive stack of birthday money. Meanwhile, we were "those parents"......the oblivious kind over in the bar swigging their pilsners of sweet tea and water with lemon.

After that, we went back to our house where the boys immediately went outside and we never saw them again, which was a good thing because I could NOT wait another second to floss my teeth. I'm pretty sure I had chicken between each and every one. Anyway, every now and then, we could see flashlights whizzing by the windows or hear a basketball pounding on the driveway, which let us know that all was well. After everyone left, I noticed Carson had a big gash on the side of his nose near his eye. He'd ran into a wire in the darkness as they cut through the neighbor's yard. No big deal. Not even worth mentioning. Boys are just so "whatever".

It hasn't been too long ago, we were hosting his sister's girl parties. The memories........and my wounds are still fresh. Girl parties are complex events with undercurrents of hidden emotions, deep relational conflicts, and fragile moods that can turn on a dime. The inner workings of hormones, insecurities, competition, chemistry, and moon phases can tip your girl party one way or the other. All combined, they can prove to be very laborious and stressful for the hosting mother.

Girl Party Summary.......What starts out as an outdoor event quickly moves inside because "Oh my goodness, it's soooo hot out there!" Josie mysteriously disappears and the hosting mother learns that she's in the bathroom crying as her boyfriend has just broken up with her via text. The planned activities that were counted on to fill, at least, an hour are over in 6 minutes, quickly leading to a chorus of "We're bored......What can we do now?" Mary becomes mad at Suzy because she looked at her wrong, so she and Cindy start to whisper about Suzy's outfit, causing three of the partygoers to side with Mary and Cindy and two to side with Suzy, which then leads to more whispering. Lisa asks if she can call her Mom, because she is homesick and wants to go home, while Janet is most upset because she has spilled punch on her new top and is convinced that it is ruined. Meanwhile, Betsy wants Julie to come home with her after the party, which upsets Darla because she wasn't invited. Michelle is teary because she didn't get the purple party favor, but got the green instead. Lisa's mom comes to pick up the homesick guest and apologizes while whispering "it must be that time of the month", while you scramble to find someone who will trade their purple party favor for a green one. Betsy's mom comes to pick up Betsy and her overnight guest, Julie, which sends Darla back inside crying, so you extend a spend the night invitation to Darla in order to pacify her. Josie comes out of the restroom finally as she's found out that Mary was messaging her boyfriend before the breakup, but thankfully, Mary's mother rings the doorbell before that flame gets out of hand. You try to find the spot remover for Janet, who won't stop talking about her new top, while some of the girls ask you to retake their picture for Instagram. Minutes pass like hours and hours like days. The house feels like it's 130 degrees, your face is flushed, your head is pounding, and your heart is racing. You, my friend, have just hosted a girl party.

Boy Party Summary......."Boys, here's a football and a pizza. I'll be inside if bleeding cannot be controlled or bones protrude through the skin." Parents return 3 hours later and the doorbell startles you from your nap on the couch. You've just hosted a boy party.

I have to say that I am enjoying the simplicity of a teenage son. I wouldn't trade my years as a teenage girl mom for anything, but the shift to a lower, more relaxed gear is admittedly nice.

After a few more days of gifts, food, family, and a batch of Blair's cupcakes, Carson's birthday week is officially over.

6 comments:

There is such a difference between girls and boys and I laughed at your description of the parties. Way more emotion and drama going on with the girls! :) Glad you had a fun week! Happy birthday to Carson!

First off, I am trying to stop laughing because I know that you are so right! I don't remember my birthday parties being like you described but knowing the friends that I had, I'm sure they were that full of drama also. Haha!Now I have a son and a daughter. My son is the oldest so I'll have the relaxing parties first. I just want to say thank you for letting me know what to look forward to. They don't tell you these things when your babies are born. :)