How To Listen To The Voice Of Confidence

Do you know how to listen to the voice of confidence? If you’re not sure, consider the opposite voice–the voice of a naysayer.

Definition of “naysayer”: A person who says something will not work or is not possible. A person who denies, refuses or opposes something.

The voice of a naysayer can leave you stuck in your tracks, wreaking havoc on your confidence. The naysayer is not an optimist.

So how do you know if the voice you hear is telling you the truth?

When I first started writing Kick-Ass Corporate Wife, a naysayer told me, “peoplemight buy your book, but they won’t read it.” The comment made me Pause and Consider. . .is this the truth? I chose not to listen to that naysayer voice because I knew at least one person would read my book–my mother!

Last month, when I met a new friend for coffee, she also proved that naysayer wrong, as she had just finished reading Kick-Ass Corporate Wife. She was instantly friendly. Her haircut was stylish, and she exuded confidence.

“What do you think of my outfit?” she asked. I told her I thought she looked fabulous!

“I put this outfit together based on the style suggestions in your book,” she said.

My new friend was referring to the style Dos and Don’ts locatedin Chapter 5 that included a few book recommendations.

“I also ordered the book that you recommended by style authority, Lloyd Boston, and I followed his advice. You know why? Because the story I’ve always told myself is thatI don’t fit in.”

Her comment, “I don’t fit in,” was the lie she tells herself. From what I could see, she would “fit in” to any social situation, including meeting me for coffee, yet she allows that voice to continually erode her confidence.

It made me Pause and Consider. . . do I ever feel like I don’t fit in?

At first, I didn’t think I could relate to what she was saying. But sure enough, one week later, I understood how she felt.

My husband and I attended a fabulous party that looked like we’d stepped into an episode of Real Housewives of Orange County. I felt happy and confident when we walked in, but I wasn’t dressed to the nines like most of the women who showed up. We recognized a few people in attendance, but this party’s location was out of our jurisdiction, so we were outsiders. When I went off on my own to socialize, smiling as I stretched out my hand to be the first to engage with unknown guests, the conversations went flat and didn’t last for more than 20 seconds. No one was blatantly rude to me, but I was continually denied and refused.

As I stood awkwardly alone, the situation made me Pause and Consider. . . am I at a party full of naysayers?

Then I heard the voice. It was that same voice my new friend mentioned that said, “You don’t fit in.”

On our drive home from the party, I shared my experience with my husband, knowing he would have the right perspective. He told me that some people don’t like to be around other people who are happy.

I chose to listen to my husband’s voice of confidence!

What’s my point in sharing these stories? The voice you hear can be from someone else or from your own internal dialogue. It’s your choice whether to listen to it or not. Wherever you are, exuding confidence and happiness may leave you standing alone, feeling like “you don’t fit in.” If you choose to let your beauty and confidence shine brightly, some people may not know how to handle it. They may try to project their lack of confidence on you. You have the choice to listen to the naysayers, or not let them stop you, or steal your joy.

When you listen to the voice of confidence, you’ll know because you will find yourself moving in a forward motion–in peace.

Today, if you are feeling that you don’t “fit in” in some capacity, see if you can recognize the lie you may be telling yourself. Don’t listen to that voice–the voice of the naysayer! Instead, you can choose to listen to my voice–the voice of the “Yay-sayer!” The voice that tells you, “Yay!Go forward–let your light shine like a star in the universe!”

What’s the lie you tell yourself? Please share your story in the comments section below.

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