Good news, nerds! It's only three more days until national Talk Like A Pirate Day, and look! The guys over at Hobo Trashcan have an interview with its creator, Cap'n Slappy. I don't know about him, but personally if I'm gonna be a pirate, I'm going by Captain Morgain. No shortened monikers for me. (Hobo Trashcan)

Are you a hardcore foodie? Prove it by taking on this Litely Salted quiz ... If you dare! Yeah, I'm hungry all of a sudden. I want a meatball sub. (Litely Salted)

Just because Stacey isn't here anymore, doesn't mean we'll be stopping the Dexter love anytime soon. Therefor, here are the fifteen most satisfying kills on Dexter. I'm not gonna lie: I needed to light up after watching a few of these. Was it good for you too? (UGO)

It's one thing to acknowledge the south's history of slave owning and bigotry; it is another for a South Carolina representative to throw a costume party that involves dressing black people as slaves and selling them at a mock live auction. Guess which one happened. (AngryBlackLadyChronicles)

So Tim Gunn taped a guest spot on Gossip Girl a little while ago, and Taylor Momsen couldn't remember any of her lines and wouldn't get off her Blackberry, so Tim Gunn was all like "get off your fucking Blackberry, you little ho." And that's why I love Tim Gunn. (popbytes)

Here's the story of how Allie Brosh managed to go to a children's birthday party while heavily sedated. I won't go into details because this is hysterically funny, but I will be saying "PARP!" randomly for the rest of the day. (HyperboleAndAHalf)

Here are the best cast TV siblings. I honestly thought it couldn't get better than Niles and Frasier Crane, and then I got to the Bluths and I realized that yes, yes it could. (Unreality)

Here's an interview with James Silvani, the guy behind the new Darkwing Duck series. That's right bitches, Darkwing Duck is fucking back! Suck many dicks, Gizmo Duck. (The Flickcast)

Alright, so fun fact here: Facebook has a fan page for people who want to unleash attack dogs on "sluts". Which strikes me as odd because a lot of my fellow cock-jockeys have had their Facebook profiles taken down for the sole fact that they do porn. So for the record: Gay sex = bad. Having your dog attack women = a-okay! (Zelda Lily)

So Javier Bardem thinks his penis is small, and... Ummm, yeah, I don't actually have a joke about this one. I just wanted an excuse to talk about Javier Bardem's penis. This is the sort of shit you can get away with when you write Pajiba Love, people. (Agent Bedhead)

Oh how cute, for the 100th episode of American Dad, they decided to kill off 100 characters. Know what would have been even better? If you killed off the show itself. (Screen Junkies)

Hey Mel Gibson, you know what's a great way to disguise yourself? With a fake mustache you bought at the dollar store! Oh, wait, sorry, that only works in children's cartoons where all the adults are legally brain dead. (Evil Beet)

Oh joy, Anna Kournikova is going to have a spread in Maxim! In 3D! I'm sure I would care about this if I were straight. Or cared about tennis. And it was still 2002. And 3D weren't just a lame gimmick meant to sell copies of a shitty magazine. (Yeeeah!)

Here are eight celebrities who used to work at Hooters. Ummmm ... Yeah. I count only two actual celebrities on this list. Although I think we can all agree that Amy Adam has lovely hooters, doesn't she? (The Frisky)

I'm sure you're all still reeling from the video yesterday (for those who haven't seen it: YOU HAVE BEEN SPARED) so today you're getting a video from Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw reviewing Mafia II to cleanse the palate.

Jeremy Feist is a freelance writer, maker of lovin', and an average-everyday-sane-psycho. You can check his NSFW blog here, or email him here.