New Machine. Mostly known to me for putting out compilations of stars‘ early pro-am work, I wonder if they can hold my attention with an original gonzo production. Alex Sanders is at the helm and he has assembled a fine all-star cast of raincoater favorites to fuck. Will it be hot? Will the girls have their working boots on? Will the guys be up to the task of fucking these chicks like they need to be fucked? All these questions run through my mind as I load the DVD into my player. Let‘s get to the action for our answers.

The Action:

Olivia O‘Lovely

“I‘m just one of those girls who grew up with porn magazines everywhere,” says Olivia O‘Lovely (Pussyman’s Face-Sitting Fanatics IV) in her voiceover as she plays with herself and gets undressed poolside. Olivia is blessed with one of those bodies that makes whatever she‘s wearing look great. Here it‘s a white lacy ensemble that provides a magnificent contrast against her olive skin and long dark hair. In voiceover, Olivia continues to detail her earliest sexual encounters while she teases poolside. For some reason, Alex Sanders insists on squeezing some honey or syrup concoction down the crack of all these girls asses. It’s not doing a damn thing for me and I think it looks gross personally but he does it to every girl on the disc, so be warned and get used to seeing it. As much as I appreciate all of the plentiful footage of Olivia outdoors, six and a half minutes of her talking seems excessive. This is taking on a Playboy video vibe now…I’m half expecting Anna Nicole Smith to come walking out any minute or see footage of Olivia standing next to the road sign outside of her home town. Is this classy? Yes. But if you rent a video called “Make My Butt Cum #3”, I highly doubt you’re looking for “class.” Inside, the action finally get underway when Alex lies O’Lovely back to eat her pussy and then he buries his face in her ass. Careful. With that ass, you know Olivia could very well suffocate you and not even know it. You could get LOST in between those cheeks. Olivia looks so fucking good here, it’s a shame she’s “curtain jerking” or opening the video. Out of this cast, you’ve got her and Phoenix capable of opening or closing the proceedings so I guess O’Lovely is as good an opener as any. The sad part is, Phoenix follows Olivia here, leaving Rio to take us home, which is far from the best scene on the disc. See, I’m big on sequencing. I approach it like a rap song with various emcees on it: you send out a strong opener, but not your best, you save him for last. But maintain a steady level of excitement throughout the body, the middle portion and build towards a crazy climax. Make My Butt Cum 3 ends with a whimper rather than a bang because it blows its wad early, putting the two best scenes first.

Olivia’s face-sitting becomes a sixty-nine when she leans forward to swallow Sanders’ sword, taking in ¾ of it with every pass of her latina lips. O’Lovely looks like a Greek Goddess here, her shapely legs and thighs high in the air capped off with sexy high heels and big firm hefty tits standing straight up for Sanders as he drives his dick into her muff in the spoon position. We get some extreme close-ups of the penetration when Sanders floats over to bang Olivia in proper missionary fashion. She lies on her side again, this time crossing her legs while Alex fucks her ass. Alex has his cock serviced a2m a few times from this position before switching to up-and-over doggie while Olivia fingers herself. More a2m here, too, before we’re treated to an excellent POV hummer where Sanders pumps out a wad of the pearl stuff all over O’Lovely’s mouth. Liv does her patented “blow bubbles” with the cum thing and we move on to Lauren Phoenix. ***

Lauren Phoenix

Lauren Phoenix‘s (Double Dip’Er 2) voiceover reveals her to be a self-described “freaky geek“, dabbling in lesbianism in both high school and college. Phoenix says she likes to “wrestle“ and get “physical“ during sex. Having seen her in action on numerous occasions, I would say that‘s an understatement. She loves sucking dick, eat pussy (she‘s rather give than receive), and being choked. “I don‘t mind deep-throating,” she says. No shit.

Lauren is pitted against Billy Blanks and OH MY GAWD, IT‘S WWE‘S BOOKER T~! Wait, no it‘s not…that‘s Byron Long. Lauren briefly shows off her heavenly backside before giving Blanks one of those amazing deep throat blowjobs where she flicks her tongue over his balls once she has his cock all the way in the back of her throat. I bet that trick KILLS at parties. Byron gets the same as Blanks comes around to fuck Lauren doggie. Canada seems to honor a lot of their native sons and daughters who come to the states and make it big, be it actors, comedians, ditzy blondes with big fake tits and even professional wrestlers. I think the country needs to highly consider naming a street or making a National Holiday for Lauren Phoenix. She‘s as good at her profession as any other citizen they‘ve celebrated. It‘s only fair. Show the people of Canada this scene, Lauren bent over, legs spread apart with one shiny black shaft sliding in and out of her twat and the other prick deep in her throat and I DEFY them not to declare her a national treasure. Of course, a scene isn‘t complete until Lauren takes it in her ass and sucks those cocks clean of her ass juice. At this, she has no peer. Everyone else has to get on her level. When Byron pounds her ass missionary you would think he was a priest, his dick was a crucifix and he was using it to exorcise a demon from Lauren‘s asshole. Her head is *this* close to doing a Linda Blair and spinning around on her shoulders and the demon is begging for more, asking for its pink ass to be fucked. Just when you think Phoenix has no more tricks left in her bag, she gets double stuffed like an Oreo reverse cowgirl, her pussy and ass providing the creamy middle with the hard logs of Blanks and Long acting as the outside of the sandwich. And still Lauren asks to be stretched further. Lord, what does it take to satisfy Lauren Phoenix? It’s safe to say that at this point in her career, she’s solidified her status as one of the most plain INSANE bitches in the game -- hands down. You know what you‘re going to get with Lauren Phoenix when she saunters on to your screen. 100% intensity, 100% ass, a 100% man-sized sexual experience complete with tons of anal, a2m and if she‘s got more than one stud at her disposal, she‘s GOING to get DP‘d. This scene is no different. The boys leave their gooey, white lumps of protein hanging around Lauren‘s lips and she sucks both cocks clean like they were glazed with hot Krispy Kreme frosting. ***½

Catalina

The movie begins to diverge from what was the norm (the tease plus voice over) to straight amateurish gonzo now. Alex Sanders is in an anonymous bedroom feeling up Catalina (Azz Fest 3). For those of us who know and are familiar with Catalina, we know her as a love her or hate her type of girl in this business. While she‘s not as fresh-faced and cute as she was when she started and has since had her once-flat chest enhanced, I can‘t deny she gets me off because she‘s just so damn nasty. And really, isn‘t that what porn is all about? Catalina generally does it all and does it all with a natural aplomb that let‘s you know that for her, it‘s not about a check. It‘s about her getting off and getting you off. That, my friends, you can‘t help but respect. You MUST respect it.

Billy Blanks and Alex Sanders join Catalina on a bed where something tells me that before this romp is over, Cat‘s gonna end up with two cocks in her at the same time. Alex grabs the back of her head and starts speedfucking her face, Catalina‘s throat opening right up to allow him entry with ZERO difficulty. It looks like her head is empty (a comment that inadvertently lends itself to an easy joke I’ll spare you) his dick slides in so far so easily. Blanks fucks her pussy doggie but Alex ain‘t hearing that shit today. He wants ass. Straight to digging out her rectum he goes when it‘s his turn. The way Catalina takes multiple cocks with ease is a thing of beauty. I‘m wiping a tear over here, really I am. It would take a normal girl Cat‘s age YEARS to hone her skills to a razor‘s edge the way that Catalina has. Cat‘s simply had the benefit of “working out“ with Max Hardcore, where I imagine he must own some sort of deep, dark and dank dungeon -- a debauchery dojo, if you will -- to train his pupil. That‘s the only way I can think of to explain her otherworldly talents. Even her body is oddly alien now I notice as Alex drives his cock in her ass missionary. She‘s built like a latina Brianna Banks, whom I‘ve heard affectionately referred to as “boobs on a stick“, except Catalina has a big round ass to match the oversized orbs on her chest. The rest of her is as thin as Aurora Snow, Taylor Rain and the like. She looks even more like Brianna when she’s DP’d reverse cowgirl, her long legs hanging over each end of the bed, her ridiculously large high heels flailing in the wind. But Lauren Phoenix must be outdone, so Catalina goes for the DAP (double anal penetration) here, which earns her bonus points but I‘ve got to admit I still don‘t see how two guys can do this and not feel just a tad…alternative.

Maybe that‘s Catalina’s strange appeal: I can totally see myself cruising the seedy, bad part of town late one night and picking up a girl like Catalina -- not totally hot but not at all unattractive -- and her letting me bang the holy hell out of her every hole ‘til the sun comes up, just like Cat does with Alex and Billy here. Where did she learn to fuck and suck like that? We don‘t know and we don‘t really want to, we just enjoy it while it‘s going on. That‘s how you have to watch Catalina. After the DAP, the fellas let the gunk fly, landing it all over Catalina‘s mouth and chin where she blows bubbles with it and lets it erupt over the sides of her mouth like a cum-spewing volcano. ***½

Elizabeth Lawrence

We return back to the regular format for Elizabeth Lawrence (Spread‘em Wide), a tiny Aussie brunette, who again talks to us in voice over as we get tease footage. That makes Catalina‘s scene all the more awesome if the DVD took a turn specifically to suit her and her straight gonzo background. Catalina‘s not a chick you‘re going to see in a feature, believe me. Elizabeth Lawrence has an amazing ass; I can‘t believe something so huge is even attached to her body. That is a LOT of ass. She‘s not quite as gorgeous as Michelle Wild, but I‘m picking up some similarities. Elizabeth has a really, really nice body and today, Mark Wood gets it all to himself. Mark Wood is really one of porn‘s unsung woodsmen (he even won an award declaring him such) and I‘ve never had a problem with him being in a scene. He plays his part, he knows his role. He does his job, he doesn‘t draw attention to himself, he doesn‘t have wood problems and he produces decent loads when it comes time to pop. What more can you ask for? He‘s the guy to call in a cinch, if you ask me, if someone can‘t make a shoot or hell, he‘s definitely good enough to be your first option. Were I a director, I‘d have him on speed dial. Lawrence does a masterful job of sucking his cock until all the blood has rushed to where it should be, then Wood lies her back and spreads her wide for a mish pounding. You know, I spent nearly a year in Australia and I never ran into any chicks like Elizabeth. I saw plenty of smelly aboriginees, but no cute, slutty. pert-titted, six-pack sporting hotties like Lawrence. Maybe I went to the wrong clubs…or whorehouses. It‘s legal over there, you know. I wonder if Elizabeth can drink me under the table or calls kids “anklebiters” like so many over there did. But back to the action, Lawrence‘s mouth is so tiny it looks as if she can barely fit Mark‘s wood into it to suck her pussy cream off. For some reason, that‘s hot. There‘s something strangely satisfying about seeing a chick trying to shove a huge prick down her throat and struggling to deal with the girth or length. Mark Wood soon targets Elizabeth‘s “land down under“ nailing her in the crapper doggie while she rubs her pussy raw with her electric blue fingernails. I know for sure she‘s an Aussie now. Those people have no fashion sense. Right before Lawrence begs for cum in her mouth (and gets it in the eye) she trips over a bit of her “spontaneous“ dirty talk as she‘s being fucked. Classic. The camera pans down to all the cum on Elizabeth‘s chest before moving on. ***

Rio

Have I ever reviewed a movie with Rio in it before? I know I‘ve SEEN plenty (Lex Steele XXX) but I don‘t think I‘ve had the opportunity to say my peace about her in print, for everyone to see. Rio is someone I like A LOT. But that said, physically she‘s everything I don‘t normally like. I think she has a very cute face (albeit a tad manly), a great smile (one of the best and it’s a plus that she smiles so often) and on top of all that, she is a really cool and nice person. But there‘s something about her that‘s off-putting about her for me. And it’s not the flat-chest (which has been surgically corrected as of late) even though I consider myself to be a breast man. I think porn has inadvertently trained me to think certain ways about people that I shouldn‘t. For instance, when I see Rio, a woman who when I first saw, couldn‘t wait to see fucked, I now think that she‘s going to pull down her bikini bottoms and produce a glistening glorious prick that‘d put mine to shame. I know that Rio‘s not a tranny but for some reason, it‘s in the back of my mind. I see the bronzed Brazilian skin, the flat chest and the somewhat masculine face and I just KNOW she‘s going to bust out a “surprise“ one of these days. I think I need a break. Rio is pretty much the US porn market‘s token Brazilian; I can’t think of many others that are used on as regular a basis as “Rio.” Even her very name quickly identifies her nationality. Sweet and cute as a button in person, though, so Rio if you see this, *crosses fingers* I love you, honey. No hard feelings, I still want to bang you.

Sanders focuses on Rio’s feet to start the scene so you foot fetishists out there ought to enjoy that. Next he fingers her pussy until she can barely keep her eyes open or keep them from rolling back in her head. I thought Sanders was going to have to run and get a spoon to shove in her mouth to keep her from swallowing her tongue. I don’t know if there’s a such thing as a fingering fetishist, but if you are one, you’ll dig seeing Rio’s rock hard abs tense up, her upper lip curl and her brain drift off into la-la land as Alex digs her fingers deep in her pussy. Alex doesn’t even bring his cock near Rio’s mouth, instead he plunges right into her pussy where Rio uses one of her hands to guide him in/jerk him off as he fucks her and the other hand to hold her legs back, her knees touching her shoulders. I don’t know what you cats call this position, but back in the day, me and boys used to call it “The Buck.” And no, that’s not for Buck Adams. I don’t even know how it got that name, who told me it was called that or if anyone else called it that, but “The Buck” is when you put a chick’s legs on your shoulders in the missionary position as you fucked her. I don’t know what it does for the guy other than feed his ego when he’s screwing a chick silly like this, his cock going all the way up to her brain if you’re big enough and causing her extreme discomfort by leaning all your body weight on the back of a chick thighs, threatening to snap both of her hamstrings simultaneously with one wrong slip. But hey, some women dig a little pain. Actually, a lot of them do, but that’s for another day. Sanders spoons Rio next, cupping her little firm handfuls through her hot pink bikini top, which she still has yet to remove. Clothes are the last thing on her mind at this point, however, as she slides Sanders’ tool from her snatch to her ass and plucks at her clit like she were tuning a banjo. Sanders fucks her for a while here (a LONG while and Lord knows, “spooning” isn’t the world’s most exciting filmed porno position) and I give up all hope of seeing a Rio blowjob. It just doesn’t look like it’s going to happen. Sanders’d rather LIE ON HIS SIDE and fuck Rio from behind. The lazy prick finally gets to his feet to fuck Rio’s bung up-and-over doggie, Rio’s feet very nearly obscuring the view. Again, hot for you feet people, not so hot for me. I enjoyed the camera training on Rio’s face and her reactions here but I would’ve appreciated a side view that showcased her entire body, not just switching from one end to the other: close-up on her face or close-up of the penetration. Sanders pulls on his cock while Rio licks his balls until some cum runs out of his dick and over his knuckles into Rio’s mouth. No reverse cowgirl makes CJ an unhappy reviewer. This was like watching some married couple fuck after work on Friday night. Their heart just wasn’t into it. **½

Extras:

Sixteen-minute Behind the Scenes featurette, a VERY nice photo gallery (Olivia O‘Lovely and Lauren Phoenix looked especially good), six trailers (Wet Inc, Make My Butt Cum and The Younger The Better series; be careful of the trailer for part one of The Younger the Better…the faux-camera flashes are enough to make you fall out clawing at your eyes into an epileptic seizure), and website/company info.

Comments:

I‘ve got to be honest and admit that I wasn‘t expecting much from New Machine. Having been somewhat disappointed with their compilations (Exposed and Friends) and amateur productions (Up and Cummers, Real Female Masturbation), I didn‘t have high hopes for their original gonzo productions. I‘m man enough to admit that I was wrong. Very wrong. I’d gladly purchase the other volumes of Make My Butt Cum and after seeing the trailers, The Younger the Better, as well. (I could’ve done without the tease/interview segments which were overly long and the syrup in the ass crack, too) While the overall look of the production is not on par with some of the higher-end companies making comparable movies today, this was a valiant effort that worked well within the confines of what they were trying to do. No, it doesn‘t look like it was shot on film, nor is it especially bright or eye-catching. The menus are simple and the male talent could have been more varied. But look at that female cast. No, really, look. Olivia O‘Lovely, Lauren Phoenix, Catalina, Elizabeth Lawrence and Rio Mariah are all here and all of them are ON THE JOB, doing what they do best (even if the low-budget look makes it seem like they all took half a step back at times). They don‘t care about production values, neat little bells and whistles or technical merits (like the feature not all be included on one “title“ of the disc). They came to get fucked in the ass and they all do just that. And isn‘t that what you care about, too? Seeing five of porno‘s best do PORNO? If that‘s what you‘re truly after, something tells me you won‘t be disappointed with Make My Butt Cum #3.

The opinions expressed in this review of Make My Butt Cum 3 from New Machine are not necessarily the opinions of Adult DVD Talk. Adult DVD Talk provides a public forum for consumers to post their DVD reviews. Adult DVD Talk does not edit these reviews.