Parti Rhinoceros 1984

Parti Rhinoceros 1984

The Parti 1984, a series of free-time programs by Canadian political parties.

Now speaking on behalf of the Rhinoceros Parti is National Campaign Director Charlie McKenzie.

Charlie McKenzie:Source: L Y B I O . N E T
Good evening my fellow Canadians and mes chers amis Nordiques. Thank you for inviting me into your home this evening to deliver this very important address to the nation. Here it is. Recently the Parti of Rhinoceros commissioned me to chair the Ronald McDonald task force with a mandate to pose three vital questions to our 1.3 million young unemployed people the yuppies. Should we repeal the law of gravity, should sex drugs and rock and roll be developed as natural resources. And last but certainly not least, do they have any spare change.

The response to the first question was an emphatic no. We shouldn’t repeal the law of gravity until they get their feet on the ground and at least one foot in the door.

As for the second question whoever said the state has no business in the bedroom as a nation didn’t have an open mind, he had holes in his head.

We have a plan to develop sex as a natural resource however prime time television is hardly the appropriate forum to lay it out. But to give you some idea of where we’re heading the Washington based Democratic National Policy Institute provided us this chart.

A worker having one sexual contact per week creates a rather limp $15 productivity per hour while his or her luckier co-worker with eight such contacts per week generates a whopping $105 with the productivity per hour. Sex as you can see is more than just good clean fun its sound economics as well.

For full details and how will introduce Canadians to the guaranteed annual orgasm and eliminate frustration, violence, prostitution and pornography, simply send $5 to Fuddle Can to this address.

PARTI RHINOCEROS
BOX 189. STN. N
MONTREAL
H2X 3N2

Drugs remain a controversial topic of course especially on the prairies where folks get up in the morning to grow groceries which remains such a vital part of our nation’s food supply.

We discovered however, that nearly four million Canadians are currently spending $2 billion a year on the same stuff cows eat, while their government spends $150 million a year trying to stop them. To find out how we can save $150 million of your tax dollars while generating $2 billion in new government revenue send $5 to pot can care of this address.

PARTI RHINOCEROS
BOX 189. STN. N
MONTREAL
H2X 3N2

The development of rock and roll is already well underway. But government help is urgently needed to meet growing market demands.

Fortunately the politics of dancing leads us straight to the heart of rock and roll and Canadians realize that ‘men without hats’ are ‘men at work’. It takes 250 people in the stage, one rock concert, security, graphics, merchandising, technicians, et cetera. If we develop one such concert per week in each of our 282 Federal ridings we create 70,500 new jobs, and a good rock band needs six persons and they should be supplemented by at least two backup bands, there is an additional 5,078 new jobs for a total of 75,578 new jobs for young Canadians. And that’s just the beginning.

Add to that the various subsidiary industries, guitar factories, or high-tech enterprises and so forth we could have Friday night videos seven nights a week.

As for our national deficit I’m confident that with one or two Boy George’s and a few dozen Michael Jackson’s we could eliminate the national debt in a matter of months.

The final question in the Ronald McDonald task force asked the unemployed Canadians was of course, do you have any spare change, no they said but we’d sure like some. That ladies and gentlemen is the very best reason to vote Rhino on September 4th, for the change.

That was a program by the Rhinoceros Parti. The Parti 1984 is a series of programs by the federal political parties presented in time made available by the CBC. This is CBC.