Morning Free Association: March 23

I’ve been ignoring you this week and I must apologise for that. I’ve had not one, but two catastrophic computer events this week (okay one really bad reset-to-factory-settings and the other denied me access to anything but the internet, which is not handy when you need editing software.) I spent 6.5 hours on Tuesday night backing things up and contemplating using a sledgehammer to my now-useless backup laptop. I’ve been cranky and I hate it when things fail on me.

Speaking of failure: the Bruins have just been unable to get a win or even a call to go their way this week. As of right now (10:38pm Wednesday night), the Bruins have fallen to the 2nd Wild Card slot in the east. The official NHL website has a handy pictogram that shows how the matchups would be if the playoffs started now and it ain’t pretty: The Bruins would play the Capitals in the first round.

The Bruins need a few things:

To win all the games now

To have Toronto and Ottawa make up their respective games in hand with losses

“The Real Don Sweeney” is now talking about trading Rask. We do that, we’re collapsing. I still have no idea who’s behind that account, but this is the dumbest thing he’s said yet.

I’m starting to aggressively job search. I feel a lot better about my application now after working with a career coach.

And I’ve come to the horrid realization that I need to tone down my credit card paying.

Obviously, nothing exciting is going on for me right now.

But…hi!

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 1:03 pm

Member

MadScientist72

I’m starting to aggressively job search. I feel a lot better about my application now after working with a career coach.

Are you planning to apply for the position of Boston Bruins goalie?

Recch2Bag skate

March 23, 2017 1:39 pm

Editor

Miss Muse

Dobby would certainly welcome me.

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 2:16 pm

Editor

phonymahoney

This seems like a good idea.

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 3:19 pm

Member

The London Bear

He/she is someone familiar with this site, or at least with SCoC, because he once referred to “The German Hammer”.

I agree with a lot of what he says but he’s had a bee in his bonnet about Rask for a while now. If Bs trade him (presumably for a D or Forward) – who do you replace him with? No-one else in the system is anywhere near for that role.

Good luck with the job-hunt. Are you looking to get into a new industry?

Recch1Bag skate

March 23, 2017 2:11 pm

Editor

Miss Muse

You sure he wasn’t talking about Seidenberg?

I like Eddie Lack, but that’s because he’s a happy-go-lucky Swede. That has nothing to do with stopping pucks, though.

I’m wanting to stay at the same company, just hopefully with a less micro-managing supervisor.

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 2:16 pm

Editor

phonymahoney

Move! Haven’t you been wanting to leave LA?

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 3:19 pm

Editor

Miss Muse

I sure have, but don’t have the funds for it right now!

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 5:12 pm

Member

Long-Winded Striped Mofo

Hi Muse!

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 3:29 pm

Editor

Miss Muse

Hey there!

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 5:11 pm

Guest

muffinman3

Alright, later guys, work time. I’ll try to stay up for the game, if not I’ll see you when I see you.

Just did some time travelling at work and stamped and invoice “April 34, 2018.”

Recch1Bag skate

March 23, 2017 10:33 am

Member

The London Bear

Is Trump gonna dick around with the calendar next?
“We’re gonna have the longest months, and it’ll be great. So great. April will be 40 days. And May is gonna pay for it.”

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 10:40 am

Editor

Satan 81's Sister

Need to add more days to the calendar so we can get that wall built!

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 10:47 am

Editor

phonymahoney

May says “we’re not paying for no fuckin’ days!”

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 10:59 am

Member

MadScientist72

I think he’ll make the calendar 11 months – 9 with 33 days & 2 with 34 – and cut July out altogether, because “it looks too much like Julio, so it’s gotta be a Mexican month, rite?”

Spoiler

Besides, how better to start getting rid of American liberties than by getting rid of Independence Day – the day that commemorates our winning them in the first place?

Recch1Bag skate

March 23, 2017 12:56 pm

Editor

phonymahoney

If I won’t have a birthday, does that mean I won’t get older?

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 3:23 pm

Member

MadScientist72

Is your birthday in July too?

Yes, you can be immortal, like me!

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 4:23 pm

Editor

phonymahoney

HEY GUYS,

So, I ordered new rollerblades. They were last checked in by USPS at Cubero, NM (pop 289). This place looks as exciting as it sounds.

Recch1Bag skate

March 23, 2017 9:52 am

Editor

Satan 81's Sister

YES ANOTHER RURAL SHIPPING ADVENTURE!

Recch1Bag skate

March 23, 2017 10:01 am

Editor

phonymahoney

I KNEW YOU WOULD ENJOY

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 10:06 am

Editor

Miss Muse

Where are the pictures?

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 1:04 pm

Editor

phonymahoney

On google maps!

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 3:24 pm

Guest

muffinman3

Are you spying on your mail?

Isn’t that like…mega meta illegal?

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 10:21 am

Editor

phonymahoney

Totally like four federal offenses in one!

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 10:30 am

Guest

muffinman3

You must have been one of the really cool kids in the cafeteria.Four felonies
Wow, you must be pretty tough, toughest rollerblader in town I expect

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 10:39 am

Member

MadScientist72

ROLLER DERBY!!!!

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 1:06 pm

Member

Long-Winded Striped Mofo

They were last checked in by USPS at Cubero, NM (pop 289). This place looks as exciting as it sounds.
A booming metropolis compared to Monroe Bridge!
BTW, The Christmas card that was supposed to be with your not so secret santa gift is in my car! It got returned with ” No such address” stamped on it – even though it was sent to the same address as the 5 million jingle bells.
Make the USPS great again!!

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 10:40 am

Member

Long-Winded Striped Mofo

Also, roller hockey is a thing. But, if you think falling on ice sucks, you’ll hate the rug rash that sport court can give you!

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 10:42 am

Editor

phonymahoney

It is a thing. Very little of it here, other than pickup, though. Rollerblades are the more natural feeling for me even though ice definitely offers more control.

I just spelled “ice” with an S.

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 11:01 am

Member

MadScientist72

Recch2Bag skate

March 23, 2017 12:59 pm

Editor

phonymahoney

Hahahahahhahah

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 3:24 pm

Editor

phonymahoney

Hilarious!
I swear I live there!

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 11:00 am

Member

Long-Winded Striped Mofo

The Bruins are finding that it’s hard to get back to the playoffs once you’ve Claude your way to the top!

Recch1Bag skate

March 23, 2017 9:40 am

Member

MadScientist72

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 1:37 pm

Editor

Satan 81's Sister

Morning all. Was going to try an organize my life this week but work decided to be a dick so next week maybe?
Glad my cold finally went away so there’s one win for the week.
SatanDad’s birthday was postponed to tonight because he and SatanMom have been horribly ill. I need to remember to get cupcakes.
Who doesn’t slip and fall on the ice but slips and falls in her own apartment? This girl! Slippery floor + snowy boots = Sister Down.
I think I now know how it feels to be a long winded mofo!

Recch1Bag skate

March 23, 2017 9:24 am

Member

Long-Winded Striped Mofo

It happens more often at home than it does on the ice!

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 9:38 am

Member

The London Bear

Ow! Get well soon SatanFam

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 9:42 am

Editor

phonymahoney

Wow! I hope the wonderful Satans are feeling better. Have fun singing and caking!

Try to stay upright, huh?

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 9:57 am

Member

The London Bear

We don’t want to play the Caps in the first round.

OR DO WE?

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 8:10 am

Guest

muffinman3

…Do we? they’re slumping but Holtby has been a Bruin killer from the start

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 8:20 am

Member

MadScientist72

Yeah, I’d like to avoid Holtby if possible.

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 1:53 pm

Editor

phonymahoney

I could go either way on this. But, that could be said about most opponents.

I always want to play the Habs, though. They don’t scare me. It’s fucking Hockey Christmas.

Recch1Bag skate

March 23, 2017 8:23 am

Member

The London Bear

Bs-Habs in the playoffs — it’s been too long. And we’re due some payback!

Recch1Bag skate

March 23, 2017 8:30 am

Editor

carvinbass18

I couldn’t care less about who we play. I just want to be in.

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 8:31 am

Editor

Satan 81's Sister

This. GET THE KIDS SOME PLAYOFF EXPERIENCE!

Recch2Bag skate

March 23, 2017 9:25 am

Member

Long-Winded Striped Mofo

Kayak polo took a lot of the sting out of the way the Bruins and (especially) the Striped Mofos are playing.

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 8:23 am

Member

The London Bear

The Mofos goalies must have had a shocker last night. I’d given up on the goalie categories but Greiss’s performance last night helped (unfortunately for the Bruins…)

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 8:30 am

Member

Long-Winded Striped Mofo

Cam Talbot did not goalie well against the Ducks and even though I have 4 Ducks on my roster, those guys didn’t get it done.

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 8:35 am

Member

MadScientist72

the way… the Striped Mofos are playing.

Is this a fantasy hockey comment, or a critique of NHL officiating? Or both?

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 1:52 pm

Member

Long-Winded Striped Mofo

Good Morning All!!!!
Kayak polo is the shit!!! As much fun as hockey, but with the danger of drowning!!!
Lots of checking, boats slamming against each other and people trying to push you over. There are breakaways, takeaways, plenty of exercise, and yeah, you work up a thirst!!!
I couldn’t sleep when I got home – so much excite!!!
On tap – who gives a fuck? Maybe back to bed!!!!

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 8:09 am

Member

The London Bear

Sounds like a blast!
Do you have goalies?

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 8:11 am

Member

Long-Winded Striped Mofo

The first person on the backcheck plays goal. The goal is suspended above the water. Goalie blocks shots with the kayak paddle extended straight up.

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 8:16 am

Member

Long-Winded Striped Mofo

play is 5 on 5, including goalies.

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 8:16 am

Editor

phonymahoney

This sounds fucking great.

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 8:17 am

Member

Long-Winded Striped Mofo

Rules are very similar to hockey. No offside, except on faceoffs.
No checking from behind, holding, slashing, etc. You do that – two minutes. You go to the box …. and, you feel shame!!!

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 8:14 am

Member

The London Bear

Just had a look on YouTube. It looks insane! And exhausting!

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 8:15 am

Member

Long-Winded Striped Mofo

It is exhausting. Maybe the greatest work out ever!!

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 10:44 am

Guest

muffinman3

What about tripping? Or is it tipping?

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 10:40 am

Member

Long-Winded Striped Mofo

Tipping is legal! Any restraining is not.

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 10:43 am

Guest

muffinman3

Thats probably for the best haha

Recch0Bag skate

March 23, 2017 10:47 am

Editor

Satan 81's Sister

For some reason this is making me think about this crazy wrestling company in Japan, DDT Pro Wrestling. They have a huge wrestling match at a campground with guys going down the river in kayaks beating each other up. You would be perfect for this!