2 - slices of bread, preferably the cheapest, most un-enriched, whitest you can find
1 - jar of mayo
1/2 cup - fruit loops
1 - large knife
3 - balls (the extra is recommended for this dish, but not a requirement, so you can get by with only 2)

Directions:

-Remove Bread from its plastic sleeve or bag, lay out on a cutting board of either plastic or wood (not metal)
- Handling the knife carefully, and having previously removed the cover form the jar of mayonnaise, begin to spread the white tangy goo on both slices of bread. Be careful to only spread on one side of the bread, unless your hands require the extra lubrication while you are eating.
- Once the mayonnaise quotient is to your liking, grab your Fruit Loops and sprinkle them using your thumb and index finger over the mayonnaise covered side of the slices of bread.
- After this point it is time to assemble both sides of the bread into its final sandwich form. To avoid accidents it is recommended that you have already removed the knife from your grasp, for if you do not, the flipping required in this step will result in a nasty gouge and a painful trip to the emergency room.
- Using your elbow for leverage, obtain a firm grip on one slice of the bread. Keep the slice at a parallel angle to the floor on which you stand while raising it above the counter or table. Now repeat the same process with the other slice of bread. Try to use your palms as rest places for the up-right slices of bread, and with the utmost of haste, quickly clap your hands together, forcing the two slices to fuse directly in front of your chest. At this point you might receive a slight about of mayonnaise splatter, but this would depend on your earlier preparations.
- Gently lower the fused sandwich to the plate below.
- You are now ready to enjoy your Fruit Loop and Mayonnaise Sandwich. Take the time to enjoy the delicate mix of flavours and textures, and don't forget to chew 42 times before you swallow each bite, otherwise the ghosts of Captain Billy Pitt will haunt your next ferry trip.