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Stop Me, I’m Talking for No Reason Again

I had a problem with NO ONE LISTENING TO ME the other day. I don’t know why that happens. I don’t think there was anything different in my delivery. Is it because one kid decides not to and gets away with it, and the others know it immediately, and they all go “woo-hoo happy fun do what you feel day!”?

That is really annoying.

It started early, which I guess is how it always starts. Just one of those days. My boys were getting ready for school – let me re-phrase that. I was desperately trying to get my boys ready for school, and I hear Older Son’s newest mantra: “Hold ooo-oooon!” His latest obsession is the Fossil Fighters video game and he can’t put it down when “I’m in the middle of a battle!!!”

I actually heard myself saying, “I will throw that game away if you don’t stop playing!!”

I would never throw my kid’s game away. First of all, that’s just plain mean and ridiculous. But second, I paid for it and it cost a lot of money. It would be stupid.

I think Older Son knows this, because he didn’t stop battling.

I give up on him and move to the day care kids, because at least I can get them loaded into the buggy. Miss D and Miss A are fighting over the front door. I tell them to back away while trying to wrestle Miss C’s shoes on (lately she has decided that only SHE will put her shoes on. Unfortunately, she can’t put her shoes on).

Younger Son is pleading for help finding his show & share object that I told him to find six times already, you know, back when we had an hour to get to school.

Miss D and Miss A are still fighting over the front door and it’s getting to where someone is going to get their fingers slammed. My I’ve-Had-It voice comes out: “CLOSE! THE! DOOR!” They both look at me with that teenage attitude face – Whaaat? Then they commiserate: OMG. I mean really, how dare she!

Finally we are all outside except for Older Son. I heave the buggy onto the street, pulling my back in the process. I yell to him that We! Are! Leaving!

There are times when I’m afraid the neighbors are going to call the authorities on me.

By the time he got outside he was whimpering. I’m not sure whether to roll my eyes or let my heart break into the thousand pieces I can feel cracking in it. He said, “I would have been out here already if my laces didn’t break when I was tying my shoes.”

At this moment I feel two very opposing emotions. Furious that he’s still tying his damn shoes when the bell’s going to ring in five minutes. And the shattering heart, because I could hear the frustration, sadness, and stress in his voice.

Oh yeah, and really really annoyed because now I have to re-lace his shoes and the bell is going to ring in three minutes.

By the time I got to school I told Michelle that I was having a Fossil Fighters burning party at high noon, and did she want to come? She said “That sounds like fun!”

But it was good to hear that she’s dealing with this too lately. I heard her telling her son, “I’m only saying it once.” One of my clients told me that her son’s new thing is telling her, “I don’t have to listen to you.”

I guess it’s “that time of year,” especially with the school kids. They can taste the freedom and they’re done with school. So I’m fighting the usual battle of dragging my boys to school, but now intensified, on top of them ignoring me all morning. Love it!

The next time we were running late and I had to resort to putting them in the car they asked, “How soon until the bell rings?” and I said (with a little satisfaction at savoring the moment of their panic), “One minute.” And they panicked and said, “We’re going to be late!!”

And I said, “When I say something I’m usually telling the truth. I don’t do all this talking just for the sake of talking!”