>> >> ALAN, age 10: > You gotta find somebody
who likes the same stuff. Like if you like sports, she should like it that
you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.

>> >> KIRSTEN, age 10: > No person really
decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it
all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

>> >> CAMILLE, age 10: > Twenty-three is
the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. >> >>
FREDDIE, age 6: >> No age is good to get married at. You got to be
a fool to get married.

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

>> >> EDDIE, age 6: > Married people usually
look happy to talk to other people.

>> >> DERRICK, age 8: > You might have to
guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

>> >> LON, age 8: > Both don't want no more
kids.

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

>> >> LYNNETTE, age 8: > Dates are for having
fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have
something to say if you listen long enough.

>> >> MARTIN, age 10: > On the first date,
they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough
to go for a second date.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

>> >> CRAIG, age 9: > I'd run home and play
dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote
about me in all the dead columns.

WHEN IS IT O.K. TO KISS SOMEONE?

>> >> PAM, age 7: > When they're rich.

>> >> CURT, age 7: > The law says you have
to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.

>> >> HOWARD, age 8: > The rule goes like
this: if you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with
them. It's the right thing to do.

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

>> >> THEODORE, age 8: > I don't know which
is better, but I'll tell you one thing. I'm never going to have sex with
my wife. I don't want to be all grossed out.

>>>> ANITA, age 9: > It's better for girls
to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.

>> >> KIRSTEN, age 10: > Single is better,
for the simple reason that I wouldn't want to change no diapers. Of course,
if I did get married, I'd just phone my mother and have her come over for
some coffee and diaper changing.

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

>> >> KELVIN, age 8: > There sure would
be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?

>> >> ROBERTA, age 7: > You can be sure
of one thing - the boys would come chasing after us just the same.

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE MARRIAGE WORK?

>> >> LORI, age 8: > If you want to last
with your man, you should wear a lot of sexy clothes, especially underwear
that is red and maybe has a few diamonds on it.

>> >> RICKY, age 10: > Tell your wife that
she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck.

>> >>

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious
enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court.
In court the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe.
"Didn't you say at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,"' asked
the lawyer. Farmer Joe responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened.
I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the...". "I didn't
ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted, "just answer the
question. Did you not say at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'."
Farmer Joe said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and
I was driving down the road..." The lawyer interrupted again and said,
"Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the
accident, this man told the highway patrolman on the scene that he was
fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client.
I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."
By this time the judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe's answer and
said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say." Joe
thanked the Judge and proceeded, "Well, as I was saying, I had just
loaded Bessie into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when
this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck
right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into
the other. I was hurting real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could
hear ol' Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape
just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a highway patrolman came
on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over
to her. After he looked at her, he took out his gun and shot her between
the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand
and looked at me." He said, "Your mule was in such bad shape
I had to shoot her. How are you feeling?"