Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Inviting Singles into the Church’s “Married Community”(2/3)

What does this mean for those who are Single?(1) Stop Looking Down on Yourself
You are a wonderful, unique, and awesome creation of God. You, all by yourself, are a wonderful and interesting being. You do not have to have anyone else to make you whole. You have your own identity, your own interest and hobbies. Develop that identity; deepen who you are in Christ. This will help you know yourself, and help you to build a wider community of friends.

(2) Say Yes to Being the Third (or 5th or 7th) Wheel
It can be odd, yes some married or those in relationships can make it very odd - but the truth is it doesn't have to be. You will be able to find married friends who value you and do not throw your singleness and their married-ness in your face. Invest in friendships with others who want to know you. Also, be willing to be both encouraged and challenged by those whom are married. And most importantly, feel free to encourage and challenge those who are married as well.

(3) Know Married People Have Problems
Like those who are single, married people have problems as well. They have two careers. Two lives they are attempting to mingle. Two sets of good and not-so-good qualities. Just as singles have issues, so do married people. Being friends with married people gives you a chance to stop romanticizing dating or being in a relationship. Yes, have hope and feel free to be romantic, but be realistic and know relationships take hard work and you'll want to have a best friend by your side.

(4) Have Opposite Sex Friendships
I know you are afraid of how it may look. Others might think you like this person (and you may or may not like them). It will be awkward at times. You'll have to work on setting boundaries, especially if your friends are in a relationship or married. But let’s be honest, the real reasons Christians don't do this is because we are afraid other people will look down on us, we may come across as too forward, or we are worried about our own confusions or possible attractions. Here is the question: Do you believe that friendship is worth the risk or do you want your life to be ruled by fear? That is the real question. Besides, what better way is there to work on communication, setting boundaries, and getting the inside-scoop; than having opposite-sex friendships. And who knows, a friendship with a single female may turn into something else.