This article is based on the free eBook “Essential Communication Secrets”

It is difficult to enter into a meaningful relationship with someone without first building a rapport. This depends, however, on the culture of the characters we are talking about. Americans will want to ‘get down to business’ within 10 minutes of meeting with you without appreciating the necessity to establish any rapport. In the UAE, it is customary to establish a relationship before entering into any business and this could take weeks or even months.

Emulating the body language of others

It helps to build rapport early in the relationship, if you use the natural human tendency to emulate the body language of others. When people want to develop a good working relationship, they unconsciously match the non-verbal behaviour and in particular the body language of the other person. Conversely, if someone is mirroring your non-verbal behaviour, you subconsciously view this as a positive sign.

Non-verbal communication signals are not static and it is important to interpret non-verbal signals in their total context and to remember that social and cultural factors also need to be taken into account. Body language research shows that changing a negative body position unlocks a negative attitude and gives a better chance of getting a positive outcome. The following non-verbal signals may be useful in giving clues about internal emotions and attitudes.

Body

Leaning forwards = Interest, attention

Leaning away = Lack of interest

Curling up = Regression

Fig Leaf Position = Closed, protective

Head

Erect = Neutral

Tilted = Interested

Bent down = Judgemental or negative

Eyebrows

Fully raised = Disbelief

Half raised = Surprise

Normal = No comment

Half lowered = Puzzled

Fully lowered = Angry

Hand and arm gestures

Palms open = Open

Gripping arm chair = Holding in feelings

Fingers steepled = Superior and confident

Thumb gestures = Controlling

Hand-Held in pockets = Casual, could not care less

Hand-held behind body = Very nervous, compensating with aggression

Arms crossed = Unapproachable, not open to comment

Wringing of Hands = Nervous, unsure

Now look at the person next to you, your colleague or employee and see what message his or her body language is telling you. Awareness of this type of body language reading behaviour will enable a rapport to be built more rapidly, thus saving time and enabling you to become a more influential listener. This ability to read other people’s body language and respond accordingly will help you build long lasting business relationships. So, let’s start practising.