Author
Topic: Missing Judy.. (Read 1747 times)

Today's the 3rd anniversary of Judy's passing. I miss her as much as I ever have.

My son and I went to the cemetery, met Judy's two sisters there, first time I've seen or spoken to them in around 3 months (she has three sisters, but one is no longer speaking to anyone, I don't really know what happened). I took a single red rose...she loved roses and I have bought bushels of them for her over the years. Her nickname to her sisters was "Rose".

All came back to my place for a very short visit, then everybody was off to do whatever it is normal people do. I could have used a few hours of conversation, but that's the way it is. I'm sort of getting used to it.

I'm sorry you didn't get the conversation. I know how starved we can get for it. People who haven't gone through this type of loss never seem to understand that we have lost our primary source of conversation. I actually never even had anyone give me the chance to talk about what my husband and I experienced to the end. That was the primary reason that I started to journal. It helped me have an outlet for my feelings. I used it to say the things that I would have shared with my husband, or just whatever feelings I was having.

I'm glad that things are a little better for you and hope that you will make it through this time of year as well as possible.

Hey Dave, I haven't been going through my journey as long as you but I know what you mean already. Pretty much everyone that I know has their significant PERSON in their life still. This is just the 7th week anniversary for me. I will be happy when I can lose track of weeks and just focus on months. Right now its just to soon. I don't guess there are any good answers for the lack of conversation. Anyone that has not been through the loss of a spouse will NEVER understand even if they try. Our loved ones were so much more than a wife/husband. Now you have a new friend with me and I will converse anytime you want.

Thank you everyone for taking the time to comment and offer support! I appreciate it. This is the kind of conversation I don't get anywhere else. I've been really busy at work this week, which helps distract me, but I manage to come back here every morning and read comments. Next week starts the big "winter hibernation" at work that lasts through the new year, so I'm already trying to figure out what I can do for distraction. Hoping everyone here has a great holiday!

My sister-in-law called this evening. She and my brother helped me through the loss of my wife two years ago this coming February.

As a fire fighter, she has seen death. Diane was not close to me or my wife, but she was there for us in the end. Seeing what I was going through, she thought she understood death of a loved one because she had seen death. Yes, for her at the time it was a "This is life end thing" She was sad for me and Arlind, but not attached to the event. Now she is starting to learn the real emotion of death.

Diane survived melanoma cancer. Her husband, my brother has bladder cancer, her mother is diagnosed with the reoccurrence of breast cancer, her best friend now has only a year or so to live before a brain tumor takes his life.

After all the death, and life threatening things she has experienced, only now is she showing the signs of grief for what will or may happen to the ones she really loves, those very close to her.

People do not want to talk about death until it knocks on their door. Death, the visitor we all do not want to let in, but in he comes.

There is no keeping him out in the end, a sad truth no one wants to admit to, but that is the way it is.

And in the end, they all know it will eventually come to them, and that is why people do not want to talk about it.