D.J. Whetherspoon to add library services to it's portfolio

Further to a story broken this week by budding Newsbiscuit Reporter, Estima about the plans for dole cheque cashing and related services to be integrated with Pub Chain, D.J. Whetherspoon. It has this morning been announced by the Con-Dem Coalition's public services spending committee that with effect from 2011 all public library services will also be awarded to Whetherspoons.

John Smith, a spokesman for the pub chain said "It seems entirely rational to combine this service together with our existing public services. we already provide a safe environment for alcoholics to keep them away from the general public, we provide temporary shelter for the homeless and lets face it, the only people who either have the time or inclination to use public libraries are those unemployed who have nothing else to do with their time." "It makes absolute sense to kill two birds with one stone and provide our customers with a book reading service!"

Great work! You've clearly picked up the essence of my views on this pub chain.

True story - I had the displeasure, and against my will, one Friday afternoon to visit one of these vile establishments as it was across the road from the train station and I was with a group of friends going to catch the train for an autumn rugby international. We got our pints and noticed down one side of the pub, there was a group of around thirty pensioners. As the afternoon wore on, they got more and more rowdy, drinking double brandy,gin and tonic, whisky etc and broke in to bouts of singing. I got chatting to one of them and asked if they were some sort of society/group. The old chap said to me, 'Nothing like that mate. It's just we've all received our winter heating allowance so thought we'd go out for a drink or two'. It looked like more than one or two from where I was standing.