I break the silence with my voice
And everyone turns ’round
To see the source of all the noise
And here I stand
It’s not as though I mean to upset you
With the things I say and do
I should know better but I
Said so anyway
It’s easier to play a part
And read your lines
Than freely speak what’s in
Your heart and your mind
Is it me
Who says these things that so offend you
Inappropriate and loud
I’d say I’m sorry but it’s
Hard to speak with both feet in my mouth.

All hail the king of dunces
You best hold on, I’m opening up my mouth
Bring out the May pole
And tie me up and shut me out
Devil knows what possessed me
To shoot my arrow straight into the sky
String me to the mast and
Hoist me up and hang me high
I put no blame on you
I brought this all upon myself
It’s just this thing I do
At times like this I wish
I was someone else.
Well, there’s a lever inside my head
Between my mouth and my brain
Keeps me from hearing what I’ve said
‘Til it’s too late, now it’s too late
Smear my lips with Vaseline
Yes, I’m a vocal libertine
I’d try explaining but then
Even I’m not quite sure what I mean.

All hail the king of dunces
You best hold on, I’m opening up my mouth
Bring out the May pole
And tie me up and shut me out
Devil knows what possessed me
To shoot my arrow straight into the sky
String me to the mast and
Hoist me up and hang me high
I don’t know what to say
I was only trying to make you smile
And bring some needed levity
To your world for a while
I never meant to make you cry
But I did it all by myself
It’s just this thing I do
At times like this I wish
I was someone else.

All hail the king of dunces
You best hold on, I’m opening up my mouth
Bring out the May pole
And tie me up and shut me out
Devil knows what possessed me
To shoot my arrow straight into the sky
String me to the mast and
Hoist me up and hang me high
All hail the king of fools
The boy’s been bad
Best keep him after school
Send me to the black board
And write a hundred times
“I am the dunce”
Devil knows what possessed me
To shut my mind and open up my mouth
String me to the anchor
And watch me drown in myself.