Moderation in Sex

Question

I am unsure about how to practice moderation of sex, in my marriage. Ever since I have been spiritually inclined, over the last year or so, I have lost my interest in sex. My husband however is at a different stage in life. I somehow feel wrong to say NO to him but at the same time I wonder if it is going to hinder my spiritual progress.

—Prabha, Australia

Answer

Dear Prabha,

This is a very difficult question and there is so much I don’t know about you and your particular situation, but I will do my best to answer. If you have a good marriage and you love and respect your husband and he loves and respects you, you should be able to talk about this together. Let him express what his needs are and you in turn express your desire to practice moderation. Ideally you will come up with something that can work for both of you.

There are so many things that you can do to advance on the spiritual path. Why focus on this one aspect that is so difficult when you are married and your partner is not in step with your inclinations?

Focus instead on developing greater devotion, meditate regularly and deeply, inwardly offer your life to God and ask that he guide you in all things. Try to realize God as the doer, and offer everything to him.

When you are with your husband try to bring your relations to the highest place possible, loving God, in him.