HA! I just paid my bill with $22 of crack, two oxys (the kind you can't grind up and shoot 'cause it gets all gelly...so subtract like, $50), my "new" TV, my old Tussin with codine, and a pit bull puppy.

Hammer: How may I help you sir?Rib Joint Customer: How much for an order of ribs?Hammer: Two FiftyRib Joint Customer: Two Fifty? How many ribs do I get with that?Hammer: Ahhh, about fiveRib Joint Customer: Five[does math on his hand]Rib Joint Customer: So I guess that's about fifty cents a rib, huh?Hammer: Yeeaaa, aboutRib Joint Customer: K, lemme get oneHammer: Right on[yells to the cook]Hammer: One orderSlammer: One order of ribsRib Joint Customer: No, no... no, no... one ribHammer: [Holds up finger] One. Rib.Rib Joint Customer: I sure am hungryHammer: Uhhhh, make that... one... rib... to goSlammer: One rib?Hammer: One rib...[sigh]Hammer: What else?Rib Joint Customer: You got any soda?Hammer: [says slowly] One... dolla...Rib Joint Customer: Aww, come'on now... look out for a brotha... man... come'on... Hey check this out, why don't you let me get a sip for fifteen centsHammer: [Pissed] My cups cost more than fifteen cents!Rib Joint Customer: Alright, F - - the cup, pour it in my hands for a dimeHammer: [Grabs him by his shirt] Look you greasy hair Jheri curl wearin - - Pay me & get the hell out of my storeRib Joint Customer: [Takes out change, counts it] ...[Then, pulls out a HUGE wad of bills]Rib Joint Customer: ... You got change for a hundred