The “Squatty Potty” Will Drop You On Your Ass… Properly

I know I don’t have to remind YOU that March was National Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month. And if you’re anything like me, you celebrated it by buying your ass hole a present. Mine, was a new ergonomic stool to help me make my stool.

​Doodies. Poo-poo ca-ca. The Number Twos. The first thing that we as human beings are ever good at. But it turns out we’ve been squeezin’ our turds out all wrong since potty training. And yeah–before you ask–I AM pretty darn proud of myself for those last two sentences, thank you very much.

This slickly animated (for a bowel health PSA at least) three minute explanation of the benefits of toilet posture fully outlines how modern toilet comfort ushered in by the rise of Western Civilization has led to a spate of bottom issues that have one simple solution: coppin’ a good ol’ squat.

The squatty potty 🙂 (smiley is theirs, not mine) is a stool (oh, wait, I get it. A stool stool. So hard to maintain any level of maturity in this one, not that I try) what helps elevate your feet, simulating the more natural and apparently more healthy posture of squatting while doing your fecal business. In the squatting position “the puborectalis muscle relaxes…“ and therefore “Takes your body from continence mode to elimination mode.” which “Reduces straining and decreases pressure on the rectum” and “Allows for complete emptying of the bowel.”

She is just going to RUIN those pants…

I’m certainly no anal expert (never even tried it) but this all seems to make enough sense to me. So in honor of March apparently being National Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month, why not buy your rectum the gift of a more comfortable evacuation. Isn’t it the least you can do, considering all the shit it has to put up with?