22 April 2012

Fevery but fine

www.susanmullenphotography.com

Hey everyone,
I was sick
Della was sick
The computer was sick
and time passed, feverishly, uncomfortably, with the kind of disrupted sleep that is almost funny.
Nights are long this way, so while time was passing, it felt longer than it often does, and that felt like some sort of weird backhanded snotty nosed gift.

Today, computer back from the techs,
Della out with Doug to make room for me to work,
and me? I want to do almost anything else.

Hi Kate -- thinking of you. I've had an exceptionally crappy week and work and it would be so nice to sit down with a cup of tea (or wine) and just chill out. We are having procession of the species here this weekend. Maybe you all will take a trip out next spring to see it. It is remarkably fun. (search procession Olympia and I'm sure you'll see all about it). Hope you and yours are well. xoxoEliz.

About this blog

I started this blog during struggles with infertility--struggles that resulted in countless IUIs, medications, procedures, 5 attempted IVF cycles, 2 pregnancies, one heartbreaking loss, and one miracle baby.

Parenthood left me feeling like I was not sure what to do here, with this amazing community. To talk about parenting felt boastful for those still and forever struggling. To not talk about it felt disingenuous. So here I am. I want to talk about my real life. Parenting. Midlife reassessment. Flailing. Finding myself. Mucking about.

So yes, I am a midlife parent of an amazing child.Yes, I battled infertility and will be forever changed by every single moment of that journey.I am imperfect and life is messy, but it is also so beautiful.

Among many other things, I hope to reconnect to myself through writing here. And I hope to connect with you too. Others out there, parenting maybe later in life. Maybe after struggling. Maybe struggling still. We can all use a safe place and a lot of compassion. That's what I am offering to you. I hope you'll stick around.

Copyright

All content copyrighted by me, please treat it with respect.

inside out

"The key is, starting from the inside out. Often you say, “I don’t know what to do.” True, you don’t know what to do. There are infinite possibilities. And a bunch of them haven’t worked for you. A lot of them have been tried, and they haven’t worked under what you think are the same conditions. And so, you sort of pace around, you don’t know what to do. Sometimes you don’t even know what you want to have. But you always, you always, if you will stop and think about it, you ALWAYS know how you want to feel."