[Essay] Would you please correct my LOR for admission into PhD in Pharmaceutical sciences...

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Would you please correct my LOR for admission into PhD in Pharmaceutical sciences...

I am delighted to acquaint you with one of my outstanding students Ms. M. Siri of high caliber, whom I know since 2004, who is keen to pursue her graduation, Doctor of Philosophy in Pharmaceutical Sciences at your esteemed university. She was my Postgraduate student during her M. Pharmacy in the Department of Pharmaceutics, Rajiv Gandhi University of Health Sciences, when I was working as Head of the Department in XXX College of Pharmacy. She was under my close supervision for the period of two years from Sep’04 to Sep’06. I taught her Preformulation and Production management in the first year of this course, and she also worked directly under my supervision during her research work of “Development and Evaluation of Aceclofenac Controlled Release Matrix Tablets”. This interaction with her provided me sufficient information to gauge and asses the intellectual capability, technical and research skills that she had developed during this period.

First of all, considering the all-round performance of Ms. M. Siri both in academics and extracurricular activities I am convinced to rank her in the top 2% of the students in her batch.Second, I found Ms. M. Siri to be ambitious and hard working. Commitment towards her course and regular hard work secured her grades in her course. This I can explain with an instance which I could not forget over these years. For her research work, she needed Acelclofenac, a new and not easily available drug, which could not be found in the college sufficiently for research at that time. She wrote to many Pharmaceutical companies, which were working on that drug, in different states in India (most of them had not get back, even though she never gave up) and had also traveled to directly meet some managers, explained them about her research proposal, and finally made some of them to sponsor not only the main drug but also some excipients needed for her work. I was really impressed by her determination and positive attitude. Her sharp intellect along with her keen sense of reasoning enables her to handle the most abstract concepts with ease. This supplicated by her practical approach towards the theoretical concepts makes a bright prospect for research work. I would like to mention here, that Ms. M. Siri is accurate and thorough in her research, pays attention to details and has no dread of routine work. She possesses a very good insight into problems on hand and displays superior logical and analytical skills. Among all of her batch, she is the only one who received appraisal from the External Viva Organizer, for her error free research thesis.

Third, Ms. M. Siri is a wonderful member of a research community. She was always ready to help others in her batch (though she did not use this to avoid doing her own work as I have seen some do!). And she did more than help – she showed the makings of a great teacher and supervisor. Indeed, I had seen her instruct college students, graduate students, and other faculty members. She was patient yet demanding. She also was often the person who ordered material that was about to run out, making sure that common areas were kept clean, and other sorts of things that all too often are not done and cause friction within a research group. She had also actively participated and presented seminars and different journals in the Department of Pharmaceutics at the satisfaction of the students and staffs of the department. She also has habit by going through different types of Pharmaceutical journals to update her knowledge. She has attended various Indian Pharmaceutical Congress Association programs held in different parts of India, which suggests her keen interest in the latest advancements in the field.

Finally, I should add that Ms. M. Siri is extremely personable. She got along with everyone, from the most junior lab aid to the department chair. Always a smile and a good word, never the sort of doom and gloom that one all too often encounters in a student struggling to finish their thesis and move on.

As Department Head, I understand and respect her genuine interests and strong commitment to further study and research in your esteemed institution. Considering her performance in her research project, proficiency in English language, flair of creativity, unflagging enthusiasm for learning and sharing which were high lightened during her seminars makes her right choice for the PhD program in your esteemed institution where she can develop and apply her bright talents. Thus, I strongly recommend my student Ms. M. Siri for the PhD program in your esteemed university along with the possible financial aid you could provide her, and would like to recommend her to qualify as a teaching/research assistant in your university. I am confident that Ms. Siri will add diversity and uniqueness to your academic community. I will be pleased to answer any additional questions you may have.

Re: Would you please correct my LOR for admission into PhD in Pharmaceutical sciences

You have posted this same letter twice, once here and again in the Letter Writing section. It's not appropriate to duplicate posts - it can get very confusing, and would be frustrating if someone took the time to correct one of them, only to find that someone else was doing the other one.

Please decide which one you would like to keep and I will delete the other. If there is no further reply to this thread in the next couple of hours, I will simply delete the one in the Letter Writing section and leave this one to be dealt with here.

Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

Re: Would you please correct my LOR for admission into PhD in Pharmaceutical sciences

Ms. Siri, this is not an actual edit, but I was just trying to make an attempt and if the actual editor sees it fit, they could use my version, which I believe will be easier to edit. If this has somehow made the process difficult for the editor, please do forgive me.

"I am delighted to acquaint you with one of my outstanding students, Ms. M. Siri, of high caliber, whom I have known since 2004, who is keen to pursue her graduation, Doctor of Philosophy in Pharmaceutical Sciences, at your esteemed university. She was my Postgraduate student during her M. Pharmacy in the Department of Pharmaceutics, Rajiv Gandhi University of Health Sciences, when I was working as the Head of the Department in XXX College of Pharmacy. She was under my close supervision for the period of two years from Sep ‘04 to Sep ‘06. I taught her Preformulation and Production Management in the first year of this course, and she also worked directly under my supervision during her research work of “Development and Evaluation of Aceclofenac Controlled Release Matrix Tablets.” This interaction with her provided me sufficient information to assess the intellectual capability, technical and research skills that she had developed during this period.

First of all, considering Ms. M. Siri’s all-round performance both in academics and extracurricular activities, I am convinced to rank her in the top 2% of the students in her batch.

Second, I found Ms. M. Siri to be ambitious and hard working. Commitment towards her course and regular hard work secured her grades in her course. I can explain this with an instance which I could not forget over these years. For her research work, she needed Acelclofenac, a new and not easily available drug, which could not be found in the college sufficiently for research at that time. She wrote to many pharmaceutical companies, which were working on that drug, in different States in India. Most of them had not got back, but she never gave up. She had traveled to directly meet some managers, explained to them about her research proposal, and finally made some of them to sponsor not only the main drug but also some excipients needed for her work. I was really impressed by her determination and positive attitude.

Her sharp intellect along with her keen sense of reasoning enables her to handle the most abstract concepts with ease. This, supplicated by her practical approach towards the theoretical concepts, makes a bright prospect for research work. I would like to mention here that Ms. M. Siri is accurate and thorough in her research, pays attention to details and has no dread of routine work. She possesses very good insight into problems on hand and displays superior logical and analytical skills. Among all of her batch, she is the only one to receive appraisal from the External Viva Organizer for her error free research thesis.

Third, Ms. M. Siri is a wonderful member of a research community. She was always ready to help others in her batch (though she did not use this to avoid doing her own work as I have seen some do!) And she did more than help – she showed the makings of a great teacher and supervisor. Indeed, I had seen her instruct college students, graduate students and other faculty members. She was patient yet demanding. She also was often the person who ordered material that was about to run out, making sure that common areas were kept clean and other sorts of things that all too often are not done and cause friction within a research group.

She had also actively participated in and presented seminars and different journals in the Department of Pharmaceutics at the satisfaction of the students and staff of the department. She also has a habit of going through different types of pharmaceutical journals to update her knowledge. She has attended various Indian Pharmaceutical Congress Association programs held in different parts of India, which suggests her keen interest in the latest advancements in the field.

Finally, I should add that Ms. M. Siri is extremely personable. She got along with everyone, from the most junior lab aid to the Department Chair. Always a smile and a good word, never the sort of doom and gloom that one all too often encounters in students struggling to finish their thesis and move on.

As the Department Head, I understand and respect her genuine interests and strong commitment to further study and research in your esteemed institution. Considering her performance in her research project, proficiency in English language, flair of creativity, unflagging enthusiasm for learning and sharing, which were highlighted during her seminars, makes her right choice for the PhD program in your esteemed institution where she can develop and apply her bright talents.

Thus, I strongly recommend my student, Ms. M. Siri, for the PhD program in your esteemed university along with the possible financial aid you could provide to her and I would also like to recommend her to qualify as a teaching/research assistant in your university. I am confident that Ms. Siri will add diversity and uniqueness to your academic community. I will be pleased to answer any additional questions you may have.

Re: Would you please correct my LOR for admission into PhD in Pharmaceutical sciences

This text is too long to be edited with the software used here. I suggest that you break it into at least three sections. In addition, consider the value of ending a sentence rather than going on and on and on. Write one idea and stop. Next, write the next idea.