Questions from recent brides

Engaged couples always have a plethora of questions regarding the wedding planning process. Most of those questions can be answered quickly, so they never make it into an article. Every few months, I like to gather a handful of those easy questions for anyone planning a wedding who reads this column.

What is the traditional order of the ceremony processional? Traditionally grandparents of the bride and groom enter, followed by the parents of the groom. Then the mother of the bride is ushered in. After the parents and grandparents are seated, the processional will begin with the bridesmaids, followed by the maid of honor, the flower girl, and the bride and her escort. As always, no one is required to follow this template.

Do I have to write and distribute a schedule? You don't have to hand out a schedule, but it's definitely helpful. A schedule will give your wedding party and important people an understanding of what needs to get done. You will have to put together a rough schedule for certain vendors, such as your DJ and photographer. If you don't want to create something elaborate, you can always distribute the same schedule to your wedding party.

What do I do first? In what order do I book my vendors? I apologize in advance for giving the most annoying answer ever: it depends. What you book first will depend entirely on your priorities and how much time you have before your wedding date. In a perfect world, you'll have 12 months or more to plan your wedding and all your preferred vendors will be easy to book. In that case, you typically start with your venue and photographer. Then you move on to all the extras you'll need such as florists, entertainment, caterers, etc. However, occasionally a couple has a certain vendor they must have. I see this most often with a couple's favorite band or favorite photographer. In these cases, the preferred vendor may book up quickly and you'll need to reserve your date with them first, and then worry about finding a venue open on the same day. There's no perfect way to go about it, but definitely keep a list of who you need to book. You won't want to leave anything out on your list.

Should I give a gift based on the couple's age? I recently caught a story on Good Morning America debating whether guests at a wedding should take into consideration the couples' age when deciding what to give as a gift. Specifically, the cast was discussing whether guests should give smaller monetary gifts to couples who are older, already living together, set in their careers, etc. While how much a guest gives as a gift is a personal decision, wedding gifts should never be given on a contingency. Unlike the bridal shower, a wedding gift is given to celebrate the couple's unity, not to help the couple build a home for themselves.

What's the difference between a wedding planner and a day-of coordinator? There's actually a huge difference between a day-of coordinator and a wedding planner. Most wedding planning companies, however, offer a variety of services a la carte, including day-of coordination. Wedding planners organize the planning of your wedding from the beginning. They help hire vendors, choose décor and organize contracts. Day-of coordinators show up the day of the wedding and handle all the details to make sure the day goes smoothly. They'll deal with the little crises so you don't have to and keep everyone on schedule. While I believe hiring a wedding planner should be decided upon based on priorities and budget, I fully support day-of coordinators. Whether you hire one or appoint one, a day-of coordinator will cut your stress level in half.

How do I thank someone for a monetary gift without seeming rude or awkward? I get this question pretty often, especially since most wedding gifts are monetary these days. Never mention the amount that was given to you. Always thank your guest for his/her/their "generous gift" or other vague description. However, describe what you plan to do with the gift to personalize the card. For example, "thank you for your generous gift! We look forward to using it to help renovate our dining room. We'd love to have you over for dinner when it's finished!"

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