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Start Spreading the Pregnancy News?

Question: "I just found out I'm pregnant, and I can't wait to break the news to everyone. My husband says it's too early, though, because he's worried what we'll say if I have a miscarriage. When should we tell?"

Of course you're bursting with the news that you're expecting (and more than likely, bursting with urinary frequency too). There's no more exciting news to share — and it's not surprising you can't wait to alert your friends and family (and possibly the media), especially if this is your first foray into pregnancy. But when to tell is another matter — and a personal decision only you and your partner can make. Some couples wait until the first trimester has passed in case of miscarriage — or at least until the mom-to-be starts looking like a mom-to-be. Others have rushed off to make their bulk e-mail announcements before the urine on the pregnancy test stick has even dried.

As you make your decision, consider the following:

Even if you decide to wait a few weeks, it may be difficult to keep the news to yourself if nausea, vomiting, fatigue, and other symptoms are announcing your condition sooner than you had hoped.

Waiting to tell may allow you and your spouse time to savor the excitement alone before others get into the act. On the other hand, if you're very close with your family and friends (and especially if you're not good at keeping secrets), it may be hard not to blurt the news out the first time you call your mom, sister, or best friend.

If you tell your family and friends early and then miscarry, will it be hard to handle your disappointment under a spotlight? On the other hand, if you don't tell your friends and family, and then miscarry, will you and your spouse miss the support you would have had?

Keep in mind that once you share your happy news, people (even people you don't know very well) will be more than happy to share unsolicited advice, comments about your weight, tummy pats, nightmare labor stories, and finger-wagging critiques of your morning cappuccino. You won't be able to avoid the pregnancy know-it-alls forever (once you're showing, it'll be open season even to strangers), but you might want to postpone the inevitable for just a few months.