The Women Men Marry

Archive for November, 2011

I was reading an article the other day where a woman advised women everywhere that the way to get men to commit to them was to be a bitch. I have to say that in my experience, no guy wants to marry that kind of woman. In fact, that usually kills a relationship rather than deepens it. However as I reflected on her writing I had to give her some credit – there was some truth in some of her less extreme assertions. I think I can meet her halfway; if you want to do more than amuse a guy for a while, at least be someone of substance.

That means you need to have a sense of yourself that isn’t dependent on him, or anyone else, and that you need to be willing to stand up on your own. When you start dating someone, it is only natural that you want to make a good impression. Unfortunately, too many women think that means making themselves into the model of everything he thinks he wants. He likes art? She becomes Ms. Postmodern Art Critic. He likes clubs? She becomes Miss Rave-All-Night. The problem is, after not too much of this, he will notice. He’ll start wondering how genuine she is, or at worst, how far he can push this super-compliant personality. A little later in the relationship boredom will set in and he will be making excuses for distancing himself.

However, if you know what you like and want, and aren’t looking to him to dictate it to you, there will be something about you that will keep his interest. He will find there is a you to discover for himself, and the contrasts between you will sharpen his attraction. This doesn’t mean you can’t make efforts to take an interest in what he likes or wants, it just means you don’t reshape your personality around his. On the other side, you don’t have to be harsh about it either. Being yourself doesn’t require you to shoot him or anyone else down in flames. Quiet strength is the best kind. Simply know that the best way to impress someone isn’t by molding yourself in their image but by being confident of your own.

So don’t think guys want to marry a ‘bitch.’ They don’t. But if they meet a confident girl who knows her own mind and isn’t afraid to make it known, they will make sure she doesn’t get away. Discover more ways to show him you are the woman he has to marry