I'm a twenty something striving to become the person I want to be "when I grow up". Yes, I may be a wife and mother, but my adventure is just beginning. My motto:
"Live Stronger. Live Greener. Live Simpler. Love."

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Paleo is short for paleolithic which refers to the hunter/gatherer age of humans. It operates off the idea that evolution has not prepared the human body for the types of food that make up a lot of our diet and that if we eat like our ancestors, we will be stronger and more efficient and skinnier and blah blah blah.

So what do you eat?:

Think caveman! Meat, fish, eggs, fruits, nuts, any veggies that you can eat raw (though you don’t have to)

What do you avoid?

Processed sugars, starches, grains, breads, dairy products, legumes

So we will minimize the amount of the bad things and focus on lots of the good things (oh no! fruits and veggies!) So today’s menu:

Tomorrow Evelyn and I are going to work out like cavemen…which consists of running like we are being chased by a T-Rex…cuz humans and T-Rexes lived during the same period of time (right young earth creationists?)

Sunday, May 13, 2012

So, the TIME magazine cover is drawing crazy amount of hype. While most of the controversy is around the 3 year old that is breast feeding on the cover, I think that the title of the article is what is worth discussing. That question:

“Are You Mom Enough?”

What a horribly accurate representation of how I feel as a mom. Before my second child was born, I felt like I could throw a resounding “YES!” at this question and run through the house in my supermom cape. I felt sexy, sophisticated, professional, and above all, I felt like I was a kick ass mother.

Now…I think there are so many days where I feel like I’m good, but not good enough. Sure, having a child with extra needs adds some stress, but I think most Moms hit a point where we feel the weight of this question.

Am I doing enough?

Truly, I think my insecurity with this question arises when I look at my two children. Little Bird, who is a coming into her own as a small adult, and my Wolfling, who is developing quickly now and smiling more everyday. Managing the high needs of one while trying to meet even the most basic attention needs of the other has been my daily hell. I constantly feel like I am not doing enough for at least one of my children.

But, I can’t expect too much of myself, right? I’m only human.

When we brought Wolfling home, they told us he was too much to care for. The nursing staff told us that when we couldn’t handle it they’d try to find us other options.

There were no other options for us. He is our son. He should be here with us no matter what.

In the beginning we had SO much help. Meals were brought daily, people ran errands for us, we had visitors to keep me sane…

But we are going on 5 months now, and the help has dwindled. Most days now, it’s just me. I get a few hours of sleep at night between returning Little Bird to her bed to replacing Wolfling’s canula and giving meds. I can only drink so much coffee. …and someone is always crying.

I push myself and PUSH – because my biggest fear is that I will look back in a few months at that question, and my answer will be “no.” I will have failed Little Bird and she still won’t be potty trained. I will have failed Wolfling who still won’t eat orally or sit up…

What if I fail my kids?

I have my own situation, but I am sure that there are other mothers out there thinking the same thing. “Am I Mom Enough?”

And then I remember…my mom is human. Despite how super human she seems to me, she is a person, with weaknesses and faults. In my eyes though, she is superwoman. I’m sure she made mistakes. I’m sure she felt like she wasn’t doing enough…but I don’t remember my childhood that way. She always tried.

And so that is my goal. Am I mom enough? I hope so. But more than I hope that I am…I hope I can stop thinking about that question. I don’t have time to feel guilty. Little Bird will be fine. Wolfling will be fine. The only one who will remember this time period and how distraught I felt is me. I am my own biggest critic.

Friday, May 11, 2012

I was inspired by President Barack Obama’s speech on Wednesday as well as the hit song “I Believe” from The Book of Mormon currently running on Broadway. When I think back to me at 20 or even me at 15, I realize that there are a lot of my ideas or beliefs that have evolved. Something I thought might be fun to do is to track my beliefs over time. So I am starting this with 25 (a nice round even number).

At 25, I believe:

That all people are entitled to equal treatment by their government. This includes but is not limited to gays, lesbians, transgendered, black, white, child of illegal immigrant, etc. Gay marriage and adoption – this means you!

I believe in the separation of church and state.

I believe no one needs a push up bra that add 2 cup sizes. At that point you are wearing a costume.

I believe in holding hands.

I believe organic tomatoes taste better.

I believe in using vinegar or vodka as a house’s primary cleaning products.

I believe in 5th day jeans.

I believe that a woman should have the right to have an elective abortion, while I hope that they do not elect to do so without mitigating circumstances. On that note, I believe in sex education.

I believe knowledge is the sharpest and most effective weapon I can arm myself or my children with.

I believe that I should pay taxes – and a fair amount of them.

I believe that pre-teen TV is complete trash.

I believe in Ron Paul’s Golden Rule foreign policy.

I believe that children in public schools should be exposed to all different ideas – even if they are different from their own – and that our differences should be celebrated and never swept under a rug.

I believe I voted correctly when I cast my first presidential vote for Barack Obama in 2008.

I believe my family can survive anything.

I believe that rib meat is NOT an acceptable way to flavor chicken breast (::cough:: TYSON ::cough:: )

I believe that I will not live in Oklahoma forever.

I believe all parents need locks on their bedroom doors and should make use of them at least three times a week.

I believe that Firefly will be made into an Anime series because all the actors will be too old by the time the series gets a second chance.