Monday, November 26, 2007

Spring Cleaning for the Mind

I've been taking classes at night, and through correspondence, in order to groom myself for university. I took Physics last spring, and surprised myself by enjoying it, and doing well. I recall hating it in Grade 11, and of course, I thought the intervening 20 years might not serve in my favour. I think they did, though... there's nothing like time and experience to teach one the value of education.

After I finished physics, it was the summer. DH was deployed and I needed to keep busy and keep in the habit of study. I knew the university I chose would look at my top four Grade 12 (or 4U, as they're called out here) courses so I decided to take another course to bring up my average. I chose Philosophy as a nice, easy basket-weaving course to bring my grades up. I signed up for a correspondence course so I could pick my best times to study, and that way still take the night-school class in Calculus in September that is my sole requirement for the program I want.

I'm now half-way through the course... almost exactly. I submitted and received marks for the essays I wrote for the second unit of four on Sunday. And while this course is certainly going to bring my average up as hoped (ridiculously, I received 100% on all my assignments to date, almost 40 pages of essays), it has been anything but mindless or easy.

The first unit was on the nature of God and associated questions. Now, I abandoned Christianity years back... a few years back I converted to another religion because it made more sense to me than what I had been brought up with. I'm no stranger to questioning religion and God, but this course pushed me further then I had gone before and radically changed my thoughts yet again. I still consider myself nominally within my chosen faith group, more for the continuation of community and fellowship than anything, but many of my views don't parallel that faith anymore. Or any faith. I think I'm colouring outside the lines at this point in time...

My next unit was on the nature of truth and reality. Damned if it didn't do the same things to me. I got so involved in the questions, stewing them over for weeks, that they changed the way I thought on many topics.

This course has been, and is continuing to be, spring cleaning for my mind. There's not a stone that won't be looked under and the findings analyzed. Whatever remains, remains because I've put hard thought into it and decided it is worthwhile and valuable and true. Whatever goes, was tested and found wanting.

I didn't expect this. I thought it would be an essay here, a little reading there... I didn't think a simple course would change me so deeply. What a wonderful, difficult ride it has been and will be.