It bugs me that you can't read what my posts are entitled. It tends to be a good segway into whatever I end up talking about. I half-heartedly promised myself that I would do a recap of the year post and then I told Janie so I feel somewhat accountable. Sadly I didn't organise my time properly today, so as usual, in writing this on the bus.

Today is new years eve, I'm feeling a sense of urgency because I'm currently broke. Up with Tim. We stupidly ended it the day b4 new years eve. We're retarded. Having someone to kiss at midnight has always been really important to me, it's a stupid tradition but even when I haven't been dating people I still would always kiss people on the cheek. It feels so wrong to not spend my new years with Tim =( plus he leaves tomorrow on a road trip. I feel like I haven't said my goodbyes yet...especially since we broke up over Skype.

I called this post: The end of an era?Then I had to look up the definition of era because can 3 years really be considered an era but technically it's not defined by the amount of time, just a moment in time that can easily be distinguished from the next. So if you haven't understood what Im talking about I mean the era in my life where I was with Tim. If we really do end here, I guess it would be pretty neatly wrapped, I started (sorta) and ended uni with him and now we've ended 2011 together. They're very distinct periods of time in my life even if Tim hadn't been around. So sooooooooo much has changed since we started going out, I am a completely different person, parts of me would be unrecognisable if I were to time travel from 2008 until now. I've done so many things I never thought I would do, I've grown so much, I've thought about things in such strange ways.

I wish I could recap this year properly with photos and by using my calendar but alas, poor Yorick! I don't have the resources or time for it. I can't even attempt to remember, I only realised yesterday that I had been at uni first semester...I could have sworn I had the time off but apparently not. So there are about 6 months missing. Looks like I will have to try tomorrow.

On another note, I know I'm brushing over the break up But my heads not really come down to earth yet. I'm going to blame it on being in complete denial. It's been made easier because Tim said we could still hang out... So I think I can deal with that. It's complicated. The point is, I love him and I'm not ready to have him eradicated from my life. If things don't work out romantically, I have great hope and trust that we can remain friends, I've never done that with an ex b4 but Tim is special. I don't think anyone knows me more or has carried me through tough times like he has. He's an amazing guy.

Happy new year guys! I hope everything works out for everyone, lots of people seem to think 2011 was pretty terrible but I've had much worse. Good luck everyone. I hope I can keep calling my friends friends by this time next year and have a whole bunch of new people to add to the count. Here's to having a happy and safe future <3

Party hard!! Xx

Ps: sorry for the typos. My phones messed up and I can't be bothered trying to fix everything.

I'M FREE! sort of...not really =( I get 3 weeks off from prac for xmas + new years but I still have to do a couple of assessments during that time. Blah. At least when I return to prac it's just 3 more weeks and then I'm done...FOREVER.

No more of this stupid uniform:

I don't even know what I want to say anymore, I thought I would be writting for ages but there's not much to say. Like I mentioned before I feel really detached from everything at the moment, I think it's because being on prac takes complete hold of my mind while I'm there. Nothing at all crosses my mind while I'm working that isn't directly related to what I'm doing. I like it in a way because it means there is no time for negativity but that strange state of mind seems to be bleeding into my everyday life too. It sort of feels like when someone tries to talk to you and you're half asleep and then you wake up and can't remember what you spoke about at all. I feel super self-involved at the moment even though my headspace right now is mostly just fog.

Christmas is going to come and go without a big fuss again this year but then again I don't think xmas has ever been a HUGE deal to me, even as a kid. This year however I don't even know what I'm doing. My mums husband's family invited us to spend it with them but I'm not going, and Tim wants me to spend it with his extended family but that sounds soooooooo boring. I hate family things. I just want to get drunk or something...or u know, just pretend it's another day. Sleep the day away or watch shit online. I wish I could sleep that easily, that way if I was ever bored I could just 'turn off' and wait until something fun happens. Everyone is always with their families for xmas, it's always such a bummer coz I wanna do something fun with friends but they're all being loving and shit with their blood ties. BORING.

New years feels like it will be a problem too. I have no definite plans, no one I know/like is having a house party (which would be my ideal location to spend a new years) and I don't wanna do it at my place again, that was dull. So some of my friends are going into the city but that sounds like suchhhh a hassel. And that's all I know for now, I don't even know what Tim's doing but I'm guessing I won't spend it with him since he leaves that morning for the beach or something. Blah. I can tell it's going to be shit already.

So apart from prac I've not been doing a great deal. I went to look at the xmas lights in guildford last night with tim and his friends but that was blah but we both knew it would be. The only thing that made it nice was that me and tim are almost equally as scroogey as each other. We spent the whole time complaining about the children and traffic and plotting their deaths. It's always a good feeling hating on something together with someone else. The lights weren't even that pretty =.= Except for the last house, they had a nice window display thingo:

Nat's tea party was kool, that was a wierd weekend though, I spent a lot of time with people I don't usually talk to on both days. It's wierd being able to hang out with tim's friends without him there. I guess it has almost been 3 years so...inevitable I guess.Errmmm what else, there's been a few dinners here and there, jamrock, drinking, gyming with Warren and Tim. Going to the gym is heaps fun with other people =D

anyway I should get ready, tim's coming to get me to go to the gym again.

Hey as you can see, I'm still in bed, I'm writing in an attempt to stay awake this time. I've turned off 5 alarms now. Plus I started a post yesterday but couldn't finish it.

I've got to get ready to go to prac, my ride will be here soon. I missed yesterday because I got food poisoning, it wasn't terrible but any excuse not to go into prac lol. My day was sort of wasted though, I was meant to do this assessment stuff and catch up on sleep. Instead I caught up with my aunty and hung out with Tim. Which was good but not what I was supposed to do. I ended up more tired than if I had gone to prac.

Tim came with me to get a medical certificate, lol except I felt really awkward because the receptionist asked me if I was in a relationship and I just said single to make things less complicated. Plus I assumed she meant married/defacto. So when Tim showed up I was like WAIT OUTSIDE, or I'm going to look like a liar lol. But he came in anyway lol. So I was all paranoid and was making a a conscious effort not to seem too comfortable around him. It was wierd, it was a reminder that I don't think we could ever be friends if we broke up. It felt so incredibly wierd not being able to hold his hand/lean on him/hand on knee. I get paranoid about stuff no one cares about a lot. Like the other day the elevator door shut before someone could get on and I felt so guilty that when I got to my floor, I bolted because I was worried I would run into the person that the door closed on and he probably thought I was a bitch for not keeping it open and if I saw him again be might death stare me or something and then I would feel even worse. Plus I couldnt apologise because it's such a stupid little mistake and I didn't want to seem even more psycho and admit that I don't know which button ur meant to press to open the doors b4 they close, or that I was still thinking about it do much. O.OYeh...see, proof! My brain is always in over drive analysing the most mundane little incidents.

Tim and I tried that ugly little cafe that's sorta opposite cabra station. The Rise Cafe or something. It always looks so busy so I thought maybe the food is good despite the terrible ClipArt logo and derro location. I got a chicken burger and chips for like $9 and it was really nice, not amazing but it was all fresh and the mayo they used wasn't annoyingly tangy. Tim got the steak which is what the advertise outside on a big banner but he was dissapointed. I thought the meat was pretty good o.O but he left like half of it and didn't like the mash coz he said it tasted instant. Oh wells. Not a 'hidden gem' by any stretch of the imagination.

We also finally got uncharted 3 and played the first couple of levels together which was sorta nice =D lol its the only game I like/can play so that's something. It was funish. It was so good just spending the day together not in a rush or really doing anything planned. I'm glad I took the day off. Then at like 3am I realised today is officially out 2years and 6month anniversary. Lol we're not the greatest at keeping ontop of that, big dramas over anniversaries have never been our thing. Ridonculous, I wonder if we'll make it to 3 years.

So one day I was hanging out with Kurt and we realised that there are some pretty wacky sayings in the spanish language.
Each Spanish speaking country has their own sayings, metaphors and similies but these are a few that I have collected over the last year or so.
Every time I hear my mum or grandma say a new one I text Kurt XD It has become somewhat of a little tradition for me now =]

Saying: La negrita astuta vende fruta.Direct Translation: The (Astute, cunning, sly, crafty, fraudulent) cute/little black girl sells fruit.Meaning: This saying is said as a sort of warning that you are/someone else is a cocktease

Saying: No calientes el agua (si no vas a tomar té)Direct Translation: Don't heat the water if you're not going to drink teaMeaning: This is also a sort of warning to someone who is being a cocktease. Kind of like, don't flirt and lead someone on if you have no intention of hooking up with them. It is also a play on words because in Spanish (Chilean at least) the word calentar (to heat) is also used informally as a way to say 'make horny'. So 'estoy caliente' = I'm hot BUT it means I'm horny. If you wanted to say I'm hot (because of the weather) you would say 'tengo calor'

Saying:Buscarle la quinta pata al gatoDirect Translation:To look for the 5th leg of the cat Meaning: Looking for problems when there clearly aren't any in that situation, so you're over thinking it and overcomplicating yourself.

Saying: Para ser bella hay que ver estrellasDirect Translation: To be beautiful you have to see starsMeaning: I'm guessing this is a fairly old saying because my grandad said it to me once, I kind of fell in love with this little rhyme/mantra. It means that no pain is too great to endure in order to look your best, this particularly refers to women having to wear painful shoes (stilettos) because it makes their legs look hot, wearing tight clothing to show off curves, waxing, plucking, dying hair, and I suppose nowadays you could extend that into getting cosmetic surgery. Just to clarify, my grandad wasn't a dick, I remember the saying coming up because we were watching a show with really attractive women and I was in awe of them and he explained that constructed superficial beauty comes at a price =) Oh and if you don't get the imagery, it's based on seeing "stars" when you hit your head/get dizzy, like if you've ever seen the cartoon representation of stars around the head when they get hit.

*To be continued

To Do.

Here's a list of some of the things I would like to do or accomplish or places I want to visit in my lifetime =]

* I have already been there, done that or started to read that but would like to do it again or complete the task
-- The task is completed and I don't feel the need to do a repeat