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01/15/2008

Yesterday we brought you the wonderfully hopeful news that Florida's gay marriage ban supporters had fallen short of the signatures needed to place the question on the 2008 ballot, but also with the caveat that the supporters of the historical misstep do still have two weeks to collect the 22,000+ needed signatures. And now anti-gay legal beagle Mat Staver is telling us how, exactly, his ban-happy team plans to get those sigs in such a short amount of time:

"There is no restriction on pastors and churches," he told Baptist Press. "What I would encourage pastors to do is to distribute a marriage petition to every single member in the congregation and set aside a few minutes to walk them through how to fill it out, and then have the ushers collect those and get them to Florida4Marriage.org by Federal Express. I would not simply have a table in the back, because you could have a several-thousand-member church and only obtain a few hundred signatures that way. We don't have time to do that anymore."

Oh, and if there's still time -- then talk about Jesus, loving your neighbor, bettering humanity, and treating others with a sense of decency. But only if the really important work, banning gays from basic civil equality, doesn't take up too much prayer time. Life is, after all, all about prioritizing.

[::Writer rolls eyes so sarcastically, he imagines Staver will encourage pastors to preach the sermon: "Why We Must Ban Gays From Scoff-filled Eye Gestures"::]