Spirited satire `Scream Queens' could use some editing

B-movie actresses who make a living by dying on screen in horror movies need three things, according to playwright-director Scott Martin.

First, they must have an ear-shattering shriek. The other two attributes are, well, of an anatomical nature.

Martin's "Scream Queens," the latest effort by the Kentwood Players, is loaded with bawdy, racy jokes, and it's heavy on revealing costumes. What's lacking is an editor and some sharper direction.

This amusing concept and Martin's giggle-worthy songs are weighed down by unnecessary additions, which leads to a nearly 2 1/2-hour production that limps to an ending.

A music revue, "Scream Queens" is set in 1998 (around the time the show premiered) at the International GlamaGore Screamicon convention in Para Heights, Ohio. Six actresses host an event where they show clips from their old movies, sing about their lives, and beg a never-seen director for a role that might boost their careers.

The PG-13 language in the titular opening songs explains all you need to know, as the women dance provocatively and talk about shaking various body parts. From there, it's more of the same. The characters are virtually interchangeable, with the exception of age or accent.

Tonya (Azeen Kazemi) is the young one. Richelle (Amanda Majkrzak) is one of the most popular queens. DeeDee (Alison Mattiza) references her adult film career. Nadine (Victoria Miller, who also is the choreographer), is the veteran. Bianca (Jennifer Richardson) is Southern. And Alexis (Susan Goldman Weisbarth) is a producer.

Martin's strongest attribute is as a songwriter. "I'm Alright, Mama" is Bianca's missive trying to explain her Hollywood life to her country-living parents. Two other funny numbers are "Gotcha Cornered" and Weisbarth's enjoyably performed "Don't Open That Door," which refer to a scream queen's life running from psycho killers.

Other high points include video-projected segments of movie highlights, which feature some actors who have been seen in other Kentwood productions. Almost all of the videos successfully satirize classic, low-budget horror movies. The funniest has babies attacking the scream queens. But don't worry, they're dolls, not real babies, which makes it even more laughable.

Though she has the show's weakest voice, Miller's easy, spirited dances add to the humor, in particular the "Fay Wray" number in which the actresses partner with stuffed apes.

But "Scream Queens" is damaged by its everything-but-the-kitchen-sink mentality. A couple of segments bringing audience members to the stage for clunky bits are awkward and lengthy. There's also a section where the queens take questions from the audience, and read a few prepared questions.

Another of Martin's ideas, having the queens pose in freeze-frame like famous queens of the past, takes too long to set up for a small payoff.

Add to these moments a generally sluggish pace and "Scream Queens" becomes the equivalent of a poorly tuned car that stalls and lurches just when it appears to be running smoothly.

Martin's cast has all of the attributes to make "Scream Queens" click. It's Martin, as playwright and as director, who needs some assistance.

Jeff Favre is a freelance entertainment writer based in North Hollywood.

Scream Queens

When: 8 p.m. Friday and Saturday, 2 p.m. Sunday through Oct. 20.

Where: Westchester Playhouse, 8301 Hindry Ave.

Tickets: $23, $21 for seniors, students and the military; for mature audiences.