Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Photos not retouched. Your results may vary. This is not a guarantee that your three-year-old will remain in his bed. Your three-year-old may use his new found freedom to wander the house at night. Hopefully ours won't.

Monday, December 29, 2008

I've got this thing for station wagons. It might come from riding in the back of a Ford Country Squire emblazoned with fake wood whilst a young lad, or perhaps those happy moments piloting our 1972 Pontiac Le Mans station wagon - also emblazoned with fake wood - while in high school. That heap would spin its tires all day long.

Station wagons have gone the way of the California Condor in this country: not extinct but very rare.

Anyway, I own a station wagon that I love. There weren't many choices when I was in the market. Audi, BMW, Volvo, and Mercedes cover the high end of station wagon offerings while Subaru, VW, and Mazda cover the medium end of the market. I bought a VW that does not have fake wood on the sides.

Even though my VW has a top speed around 140 miles an hour I can't help but feel that something is missing. Like 372 horsepower. Therefore, my new dream car is the Audi RS6 Avant.

Photo stolen from carmagazine.co.uk

This Audi hot rod packs a twin turbocharged V-10 with 572 horsepower under its hood. It's a version of the motor in the Lamborghini freaking Gallardo. It's all wheel drive and it looks awesome in blue. The reports in the magazine say it's not very agile on narrow, twisty roads. I don't care. I drive the freeway. This car is a rocket.

And it's a station wagon.

What is the Corvette driver going to do when he gets smoked by a station wagon with child seats in the back? I'm guessing he's going to cry.

There's a problem. There's always a problem with cars that I want. It sells for about 150,000 dollars in England. And Audi is not selling it here in the USA.

Apparently Americans don't know a good thing when they see one. I guess the market for 150,000 dollar super-station wagons is too small.

Aidan started puking on Christmas night. Tab had to change his pajamas three times. He was running a fever but by the next morning, the fever was gone. Unfortunately, the intermittent puking wasn't.

Last night we were enjoying dinner at the Macaroni Grill. I was halfway through my Tuscan Rib-eye when Aidan puked all over himself. He even splashed me a little. We hurriedly wiped up the best we could, informed the waitress, and left a 30% tip. We will not be welcome there again.

Today, Aidan seemed fine. We rode our bikes to the park and played in the December sunshine. And then Abigail started puking. At least she is old enough to get to the bathroom in time.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Let's say you are goofing around on the computer (uploading photos on Facebook, blogging) when you really should be watching your almost three-year-old. The silence in the house catches your attention. You call out:

In my continuing series of "Funny Things Aidan Says" I have a new addition:

Ketchup.

For a while Aidan has been saying "sock" thinking it was a bad word. He would walk around the house and say "sock" whenever he was angry or feeling little-boy aggressive. I told him "sock" wasn't a bad word.

Now he has moved on to "ketchup".

Ketchup, the tasty tomato condiment also known as "catsup", has never had a bad connotation until now. In our house "ketchup" is the new swear word.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Grab the book closest to you. Now.* Go to page 56.* Find the 5th sentence.* Write that sentence as your status.* Copy these instructions as a comment to your status.* Don't go looking for your favorite book, or the coolest one you have -- just grab the closest one.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Atheists like to criticize religion and religious people by bringing up all the wars and killings throughout history that have been perpetrated in the name of God, Allah, Baal, Jupiter, etc. As Christians we can look back on our proud past of the Crusades, the Counter-Reformation, the Troubles, abortion clinic bombings, the Conquistadors, and many others.

I say to the enlightened atheist - wait.

You'll get your turn.

Despite the millions who were killed in the Soviet Union, China, and Cambodia by atheist regimes, your body count will rise.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Aidan's real birthday is December 23. That's just a couple of days before Christmas if I may state the obvious. To give a little extra joy to our extra little guy we usually have a party for him before the big day. This year we had the party while we were in Montana to allow the Montana relations the honor of celebrating his birthday.