My daughter who's 14 has started going out with a 16-year-old lad. She's dyed her hair black, wears black make-up and has become moody and withdrawn. She's been talking about getting piercings in her ears. I'm worried she'll get into drugs. What can I do?

Angie O'Connor London

Coleen Says: YOU need to start trying to be a parent. At 14 your daughter is still a child, lives in your house and must stick to your rules.

You need to toughen up. Perhaps she is doing all this to find out the boundaries - because there doesn't seem to be any. Sometimes kids push and push because they want you to show some parental responsibility. It is a difficult age and she's rebelling.

With the clothes and the make up she's obviously testing out the Goth look. Tell her: "I'm letting you wear those clothes because you like them", but if you don't want her to have piercings then that's a no. If she does get it done, punish her. Your daughter needs to know that she can't push it.

As for the older boyfriend, if you are fine with it there have to be rules. Explain to your daughter the consequences of having underage sex. There should be curfews and you should always know where she is. If he's a nice enough boy he should respect that.