Robin Skone Palmer

Robin Skone Palmer

How old do you think I am?

Today I was visiting a wine website and because it’s alcohol-related, they want to know how old you are. I guess they want to make sure that you are of legal drinking age before you look at their stuff. (Like you couldn’t lie on-line. Hmmm…)

But you don’t just type in your birthday. No, you get to choose from a drop-down menu. I sort of get a kick out of this because I can click on whatever month, day and year appeals to me at the moment. I can make my age anywhere from 25 to 95 — or older. And although I am not into astrology, I could change my “sign” from a Capricorn to a Leo or a Gemini with a click of the mouse. Not that anyone would care.

But it’s the scale for the birth year that intrigues me. It goes back to 1900. Really? Do you think if I put in, say 1905, as a birth year would they accept it?

And then there’s the other drop-down window for your credit card expiration year. Does anyone really have a credit card that doesn’t expire until 2025? The most they allow me is two years — sometimes three — and I’ve been good, I promise. I always pay my bills on time, so surely I should qualify for an expiration date into the next decade at least.

Then this got me thinking about other drop-down menus and some of them truly annoy me. For instance, when you go to put in your state. If I dare to start typing, as soon as I put in NE, Nebraska pops up. Then I have to stop and click on the menu and scroll down to Nevada which sometimes is before North Carolina and sometimes after, depending on some standard that I’m not privvy to.

Sometimes when I’m answering a survey (“get $3 off your next visit to PetSmart”) there are other drop-down menus for things like your age, income and ethnicity. I click something different every time — I doubt anyone is actually keeping track of any of this, but if they are, they might be confused that I’m American Indian one month and a Pacific Islander another time; that I’m 25-35 in January, but come July I’ve aged considerably to “over 65.” My income, however, remains consistent: MYOB. I guess they’re trying to figure out who to market their stuff to — although I think having a dog, cat or hamster would be pretty universal. Obviously, I don’t know much about advertising.

But back to the wine website. If I had put in a birthday showing I was say, 5 years old, would they blackball me? If I then went back next week and put in my actual birth year would I find myself locked out of their website? How about if I put in a birth year of 1910?

It really doesn’t matter, because I have a wine cabinet full to bursting anyway, but I’m just curious. Who