Demogorgons Attack the Fairfield Mirror

The Fairfield Mirror office was under attack on Tuesday April 17, striking a cold and deep fear within the members of the staff. It all began when sports editor Patrick Getz ‘19 was working away on the week’s issue and started receiving strange notifications from the office’s desktop Mac that he was using. At first, this was met with only a small concern from our heroic editor-in-chief Alicia Phaneuf ‘19. She and executive editor Cara Lee’19 took the issue in stride and began instructing the staff to save their work to the desktop of the computer, to ensure nothing got lost via the failing server.

Problem solved, right? Wrong. Suddenly, it was as if the whole office was sent into the Upside Down. And just like that, the Demogorgons attacked, ruining more than one computer and sending the entire staff on a mission to not only save all of the hard work they had done, but also to ensure a paper was going to be put out the next day.

As the Demogorgons roared and destroyed everything in their paths, managing editor Deanna Carbone 19’ was forced to stand up and use Farrah Fawcett hair spray to give herself the extra confidence to make an ungodly amount of phone calls to Adobe to troubleshoot. Lee continued to work on the computers, trying to read the blinking Christmas lights she had put on the office walls. Phaneuf’s nose may or may not have started to bleed while talking to IT at some point in the evening, scaring away some of the scary monsters that were threatening her beloved Mirror.

Meanwhile, Getz’s work was destroyed four times before he was finally able to escape the wrath of the Upside Down. Running to Xavier Hall with Lee, he was able to finally finish the Sports Section and defeat the Demogorgon’s threatening to ruin the entirety of the issue.

With the help of Adobe, IT and the perseverance of the Mirror staff, an edition finally was able to be finished and ready. No thanks to Officer Hopper, who never showed up to help.

Furthermore, Fairfield University has promised your beloved Mirror new computers since the treacherous incident. To those reading this who made the promise: Friends. Don’t. Lie.