Coping With Sexual Abuse

Parent and child sexual abuse help.

The American Academy of Pediatrics defines child sex abuse as any sexual act of touching, fondling, or penetration between a minor and an adult. Child sexual abuse also includes exploitation, which can be anything from using the child to make pornographic images to showing pornography to a child. Sexual abuse occurs in nearly 100,000 cases per year, according to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. The backgrounds of a sexually abused child and child predator are many; they come from poor, middle class, and upper class homes. There is some indication that child sexual abuse occurs more in middle class homes, but there is no culture or religion that is more prone to commit sexual abuse. Many have the belief that only young girls are molested by male perpetrators, however, statistics show that both boys and girls suffer from male and female adults. There is no gender barrier, education barrier, or income barrier when it comes to coping with sexual abuse.

Help coping with sexual abuse can be found through local authorities, physicians, and therapists. There are many ways to get help and there are a range of emotions that the parent and child will feel, many of which require sexual abuse therapy.

Signs of Sexual AbuseAccording to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry there are many signs of sexual abuse that can be seen relatively soon after the victimization. Knowing these signs can lead to quick action and therapeutic help.

The signs of sexual abuse include a sudden and inexplicable fear of people and places, a severe interest or avoidance of “all things of a sexual nature,” nightmares, depression, withdrawal, secretiveness, delinquency, aggression, and suicidal behavior. Another large indicator is verbalization or physical reenactment of sexual activities, especially in a young child. Sexually abused children may not be able to say that they were sexually abused; instead they often use words like dirty, damaged, and hurt to express pain.

Help for sexual abuse can begin after the signs of sexual abuse are recognized. The following are some general signs to look out for:-- Inability or difficult walking and sitting-- A fear or refusing to join gym class or other areas where he/she will be naked with others--Nightmares, night terrors, and inexplicable bed wetting-- A sharp increase or decrease in appetite-- Demonstrates bizarre, sophisticated, or unusual sexual knowledge or behavior-- Becomes pregnant or contracts a venereal disease, particularly if under age 14-- Reports sexual abuse by a parent or another adult caregiver

The Child Welfare Information Gateway describes sexual abuse perpetrators as someone who is “unduly protective of the child or severely limits the child's contact with other children, especially of the opposite sex; secretive and isolated; jealous or controlling with family members.”

Dealing with Sexual AbuseWhen these signs of sexual abuse are exhibited, it is important to begin dealing with sexual abuse so that child sexual abuse help and sexual abuse treatment can begin.

If there is even a minor concern that child sexual abuse has occurred, a parent or guardian should encourage the child to talk openly. Getting a child to communicate openly about child sexual abuse occurs only when the parents or caregivers do not make judgment statements, point blame, or diminish the situation. The child must know that he or she is trusted, valued, and that she is being taken seriously. The parent or guardian should listen and understand first. The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry states that many studies have shown that healing sexual abuse begins with listening.

Coping With Sexual Abuse as a Child

For the child, coping with sexual abuse is difficult. There are a range of emotions that do not make sense, and that change frequently. This is why it is important to give the child lots of assurance and let her know that telling was the right step in dealing with sexual abuse. The child may feel guilty, afraid, or ashamed. These are normal feelings with child sexual abuse, and it is important for the child to understand that she is loved and appreciated, but most of all that she has done no wrong.

The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry adds that the difficulty in healing sexual abuse stems from some children’s belief that they were “hurt” because they were “bad.” In fact, this is a trick used by child predators to keep them silent. Make sure that once the child has verbalized the abuse, healing sexual abuse begins by removing all thoughts of blame and punishment.

Healing sexual abuse also includes letting the child know that he is going to be protected from the abuse and that the authorities will be contacted. This becomes harder if the predator is a family member or trusted friend, but it is a necessary step in the sexual abuse treatment process.

After the conversation, immediately contact child services and the police. This can be done before confronting the child abuser, and may be preferable over direct confrontation. In either case, healing sexual abuse cannot truly begin until the child feels safe.

Coping With Sexual Abuse as a ParentRarely do any publications or journals explain coping with sexual abuse for the parent of the victim. However, coping with sexual abuse is something that the parent must also do. There will be feelings of failure, fear, anger, and hurt. There may be feelings of regret, suspicion, and sadness. This is because as parents, as fathers and mothers, the primary concern is to protect the child from harm. Outrage at child sexual abuse is a normal reaction. There is a caution to ensure that the child is not judged, blamed, or made to feel as though the parent is angry at him or her. Sexual abuse help is available for the parents and children. The best way for parents who must learn coping with sexual abuse is to discuss these feelings with a therapist, and to realize that it is NOT the parent’s fault when the child is sexually abused. Do not directly confront the abuser since this can cause more harm than good. Leave the situation up to the authorities.

Finding Help for Sexual AbuseThere is no doubt that sexual abuse effects are found in the behavior changes of a child. According to multiple reports from government and social services listed on Prevent-abuse-now.com, the sexual abuse effects are numerous and include: post traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, fear of people or relationships, promiscuity or fear of sexual relationships, drug use, alcohol use, and running away from home, as well as long term psychological problems. The list continues on, even including changes in the brain’s hippocampus due to early exposure to sexual stimulation.

The sexual abuse effects are numerous, but they are not a final result. These are only the noticeable side effects of child sexual abuse, and do not resolve the root problem of the psyche. That is why sexual abuse effects should be treated by a professional therapist or social worker. Prevention and protection organizations such as child and family welfare and social services are other excellent resources for finding sexual abuse treatment facilities in the local area.

Child sexual abuse occurs frequently in society, and the cases of child sex abuse have almost no demographic barriers. Sexual abuse affects children psychologically, socially, and physically. Look for the signs of sexual abuse. When speaking to a child about sexual abuse, let the child lead the conversation. Ensure that the conversation is not angry, blameful, or judgmental towards the child or the parent. Coping with sexual abuse for children and parents can be difficult, but there are professional resources that offer sexual abuse help.

Could You be Depressed?Like Picasso, everyone experiences "the blues" from time to time. But if you're depressed, you are experiencing more than just the occasional bad mood or terrible day. Depression affects 19 million people in any given year and is a serious enough disorder to compromise one's ability to function normally day to day. Find out if you're just blue or if you might be clinically depressed.