Under the radar: Roadrunner’s greasy pole

This weekend I will vacate London for a nearby coastal county where, among other things, there will be a greasy pole competition.
Contestants (I won’t be among them) have to ease themselves along a greased telegraph pole, suspended from one end horizontally over the sea, with the goal of grabbing a flag.
The winner receives a prize ham and a whole year’s worth of envy from the other villagers.
Whilst watching this seaside …