Thoughts from the interface of science, religion, law and culture

After spending several years touring the country as a stand up comedian, Ed Brayton tired of explaining his jokes to small groups of dazed illiterates and turned to writing as the most common outlet for the voices in his head. He has appeared on the Rachel Maddow Show and the Thom Hartmann Show, and is almost certain that he is the only person ever to make fun of Chuck Norris on C-SPAN.

EVENTS

Ooh, a New Conspiracy Theory

Well, it’s new to me anyway. I’m familiar with the litany of conspiracy theories about the Bilderbergers, the Council on Foreign Relations, the Trilateral Commission, the Freemasons and the Bohemian Grove. But the Alfalfa Club is new to me. Thankfully, Devvy Kidd is here to enlighten us at the Worldnutdaily:

One will recognize very prominent names who belonged to that organization since its beginning. But, there is far more to the treachery if one keeps digging. Individuals who belong to secret societies are molded to leadership positions and sold to the American people as upstanding Americans who have only our best interests at heart. Nothing could be further from the truth. Seemingly harmless groups like the Alfalfa Club draw little if any attention, even from the compromised “mainstream” media. The Alfalfa Club meets once a year for a big dinner – 200 attendees who pay $200 per plate and no media. The official list of inductees (not invited dinner guests) is an eye opener.

Past presidents, both Bushes and the current impostor president, Barry Soetoro, aka Obama, have attended Alfalfa dinners. If you haven’t made the inner circle of elites, don’t expect an invitation. In 2012, attendees included John Boehner, John Kerry and out-going club president, former associate justice of the U.S. Supreme Court Sandra Day O’Connor, who, in the infamous Lawrence v Texas sodomy set-up case didn’t deny homosexuality is a voluntarily chosen lifestyle.

Notable attendees in 2013 were Willard (Mitt) Romney and his wife, Rep. Paul Ryan and Henry Kissinger, who betrayed our POWs in Vietnam and is famous for saying: “The illegal we do immediately; the unconstitutional takes a little longer.” Back in the 1970s, several revelations surfaced naming Kissinger as a Communist agent dating back to World War II. Tricky Dick Nixon personally intervened for his friend to waive Hank’s background check; Kissinger is the only appointee known to receive a special presidential waiver in his first term. Why? I can tell you: He was “fast tracked” by the CFR.

She thinks Henry Kissinger is a communist agent. Because clearly a communist agent would lead a war against communism that kills millions of people and overthrows even mildly socialist elected leaders around the world. That’s exactly what a communist would do, right? But come on, how can we take you seriously if you don’t include the Illuminati?

Ha! I know what these guys are up to. Joseph Heller exposed this conspiracy in Catch-22 – I bet they all don’t grow alfalfa:

His specialty was alfalfa, and he made a good thing out of not growing any. The government paid him well for not growing any. Thee government paid him well for every bushel of alfalfa he did not grow. The more alfalfa he did not grow, the more money the government gave him, and he spent every penny he didn’t earn on new land to increase the amount of alfalfa he did not produce. Major Major’s father worked without rest at not growing alfalfa. On long winter evenings he remained indoors and did not mend harness, and he sprang out of bed at the crack of noon every day just to make certain that the chores would not be done. He invested in land wisely and soon was not growing more alfalfa than any other man in the country.

Funny how the fact that the elite of the two major political parties aren’t at all hostile to one another and are in fact pals who belong to the same clubs only make sense to these nuts when it’s painted as a left wing, homosexual conspiracy.

When I was young, people like Ms. Kidd could be found on street corners in our largest cities handing out mimeographed sheets to any passerby who didn’t move fast enough. Pedestrians would often leap into oncoming traffic just to get away

Now, through the magic of the internet, she can distribute her rantings to millions without leaving the comfort and safety of her bomb shelter. Meanwhile, our sidewalk pedestrians are slowing down and losing some of that spark and casual disregard for life threatening situations that made this country great

In fairness, that’s probably one of the most terrifying things most WND readers can imagine. During the actual Hippie era, loony bigots like Hal Lindsey (still a WND contributor last I checked) were accusing hippies and anyone remotely like them of being followers of the Antichrist.

“One will recognize very prominent names who belonged to that organization since its beginning. But, there is far more to the treachery if one keeps digging. Individuals who belong to secret societies are molded to leadership positions and sold to the American people as upstanding Americans who have only our best interests at heart. Nothing could be further from the truth.”

Like the founding member and first Life President of the Alfalfa Club, (the man who makes Joe Stalin look like Mother Teresa and Pol Pot look like Mr Rogers), I mean this nefarious individual!

You’re all missing the most important part: they have dinner together! Once a year! Where else can you imagine a couple hundred Washington power players getting together to schmooze over an expensive dinner?

She thinks Henry Kissinger is a communist agent. Because clearly a communist agent would lead a war against communism that kills millions of people and overthrows even mildly socialist elected leaders around the world.

well, she has a point: Kissinger and Nixon did more to discredit the USA and render the rest of the world hostile to the USA and make communism look good tin comparison han any avowed communist did.

I am not impressed with all those big shots paying only $200-a-plate for an annual big fancy dinner. That might be big money at a Mississippi county Tea Party fundraiser/bingo game at the VFW post, but its chump change for this Gay Muslim Atheists Space Lizards.

Kidd failed to mention the really nefarious things that Sandra Day O’Connor didn’t deny in her SCOTUS decision. Apparently even he stands in terror of the awesome powers of— The Golden One Alfalfa Club.