Why Is My Ex Ignoring Me Completely? Here’s Why!

Establishing first contact post-breakup can be heartbreaking. After taking some time apart from your ex, there’s really no telling what you’ll be coming back to without confronting the drama head-on.

I’m sure you have already thought of all the worst-case scenarios in your head, but that doesn’t make it any easier on you. This is why, instead of giving into your assumptions, it would be best to approach this with a level head. Silence may be an answer, but that doesn’t mean that it’s the only answer in this situation.

If you are trying to get back with an ex but they’re not responding the way you want or simply not responding at all, then here are just a few reasons why.

Reason 1: Your Ex Still Has Feelings For You

Let’s start off with the positive. Maybe the reason your ex is ignoring you is that he or she still loves you. I know it seems a bit far-fetched, especially if you broke off in bad terms, but at this point, you’ll never know.

For someone whose heart has been broken badly, taking time for themselves is important in order to be able to process the pain. If your ex still loves you, it can be extremely difficult to talk to you again because they can’t fully grasp of their emotions yet. Everyone needs time to heal on their own so try not to make this about yourself. Your ex needs to figure this out on his or her own.

The best way to respond to this silence is to do absolutely nothing. Like I said earlier, everyone needs time to get over pain. Everyone has their own way of processing painful events. You should respect that and let them come to you when they’re ready. If your ex still loves you, they’ll find an opportunity to reconnect again once they’re ready.

Reason 2: Your Ex Is Playing Games

Another possible reason that the ex is choosing to keep silent is that he or she is playing mind games with you or using the nc rule on you. Now, this is only true if your relationship was filled with manipulation from the beginning or if your ex has the tendency toward mind games.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of dating guides out there that advocate this kind of behavior. Some even go as far as using the adage “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” just to prove a point.

On the surface, it may seem to work, but playing mind games will only strain any hope for reconciliation. By playing the silent card deliberately, your ex is showing off his or her true colors. It only reflects his or her need to manipulate in order to feel some sense of control.

So how do you respond to these games? Again, by doing nothing. When you choose not to respond, you’re giving out a clear message that you’re not in any mood to play games with your emotions. You’re choosing to put yourself first and you clearly won’t stand being manipulated. Your ex will contact you any way once he or she gets tired of the games.

Breakups can easily lead to a painful cycle where the one dumped will run after the one who dumped in an effort to shake off the pain. If you were the unfortunate one who was dumped and you find yourself reaching out to your ex any opportunity you get, you might not be giving your ex time to process the breakup.

Try to assess if you’ve been suffocating your ex. Are you constantly messaging them to still feel that sense of belonging to someone? Are you always where they are in the hopes that you will finally get to talk about your relationship?

You may feel entitled to an answer, but if your ex is not ready to do any talking, you’ll only feel like you’ve hit a brick wall. I know that the feeling of being ignored hurts, but try to look at it from your ex’s perspective.

Do you really want to be seen as that clingy, desperate person? I don’t think so. Remember, if you feel like you’ve gone too far trying to reconnect, then you probably have. So what do you do in this situation?

The first thing is to ease up on the communication. I know it’s hard, but you need to learn to let go of your first instinct. You can keep the communication lines open still — just don’t be the one initiating contact all the time. After a while, when your ex is ready, he or she will contact you to talk.

Reason 4: Your Ex Has Moved On

For some people, breaking up means final. They will never even consider getting back together with an ex. If your ex happens to be this type of person, then there is really nothing much you can do about it.

Or maybe the breakup was just too nasty. Therefore, they have made the decision to close this chapter of their life. And if you are really unlucky, you may have encountered an ex who simply disappeared on you.

If your ex has literally moved on, don’t expect to hear any word from him or her. Of course, you may want to try contacting them a few times before giving up.

Although this form of silence may be the most painful of them all, it’s the best sign that you should move on as well. Now that you know that there’s nothing to hold on to anymore, you can move on to writing on a brand-new slate. Don’t feel disheartened or unloved. Think of this as a new opportunity to get out there and meet someone new. Hold on to the promise and excitement of new loves.

The best thing you can do is to respect your ex’s decision to move on. Stop playing on the what-ifs and make that conscious decision to be happy for him or her. Make the effort to let go of on any grudges because if you do, you’ll only end up suffering.

The Bottom Line

You can’t force anyone to stop ignoring you. You just can’t control people that way. The only thing that you can control is your response to different situations. So whatever situation you find yourself in, make sure that you put the focus on yourself. Trust me, it will free you from constantly thinking of others.

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68 thoughts on “Why Is My Ex Ignoring Me Completely? Here’s Why!”

hi, my ex girlfriend broke up with me about 7monhs ago….I did the usually begging but it didn’t work after a while I went NC for about 2months in side d (7months) she then reached out to me but I hadn’t healed full and kept bringing it up she tried for a while but she gave up now she ignores my messages what can I do?

My ex and I broke up over issues with my family , she felt I didn’t prioritise her . We have been together two years. We had a good two weeks no contact , then I left a voicemail to say that I’m here if she needs to discuss money and the house and that I had my reasons for keeping my distance.
Then yesterday my ex calls and asks to come over to speak. She came over and we spoke, not about us but about money and the house. The whole time there was obviously massive chemistry, she was staring into my eyes and hugged me twice with such emotion. As she left she was holding onto my wedding finger which has her initial on it and smiling. Then she left. Then she texted me smiley faces, I replied and we exchanged texts sending kisses etc. then she went cold and said let her know when Iv moved out and she will take what’s left.. (We are both moving out). Today I sent two texts and she he ignored both of them. I don’t know what’s going on! She told me while she was at the house that she isn’t doing very well at the moment. She also quizzed me about my move away (I’m moving quite a distance)… She knows I want her back, I asked her if she wanted to go for a drink before she left and she said no. I’m so confused

On one hand, she still has feelings for you. One side of her wants to get back together with you.

On the other hand, she doesn’t want to get back into the same old relationship. What if she got back together with you and the situation is still the same. What if you still don’t put her as the priority?

So before you can even manage to get her back, you need to show her that things are going to be different.

I broke up with my ex cause he was lieing 2 me again I wanted him 2 see that I wouldn’t put up with it again so had a row on the phone told him what will happen that we would end…that was 7 weeks ago we have a 14 week old baby together he wrote me a letter saying he wanted 2 see him so I contacted his friend as I had no way of reaching him he was supposed 2 see his baby and come speak with me but he didn’t turn up 2 weeks later I wrote him a letter still no contact with me all I want is closure and him 2 sort out seeing his baby it’s unfair and I feel in no mans land also really don’t understand wish I could so me and his baby can move forward

Me and my ex broke up after 5 years being together. We had issues like trust, loyalty and communication. I’m 8 months pregnant by him and we are not on good terms. Our relationship ended badly with high emotions and no logic. We both said things to hurt each other’s feelings. I’ve tried apologizing for what I said because it was wrong and deep down I didn’t mean it. But he’s been ignoring me after 5 weeks. No text, no calls and no email. I really don’t know what to do at this point. I know I’m NOT trying to be with him again. I just want a relationship with him that involves our child where we can co-parent and show each other respect. I don’t care if he’s in another relationship. I made myself accept the fact he doesn’t want to be with me and I’m ok with that. What I want now is just to be able to get along with him for the sake of our child and when he wants to see his child, set some boundaries. I think he’s very immature for him to be 5 years older than me and I’m really getting tired of this. Any suggestions?

You said there are no text, no call and no email for 5 weeks. So have you tried contacting him? Don’t just wait for him to contact you. If there is something important about the child, then you have to take the initiative to contact him. If none of you take the initiative to reach out, there will be no progress.

Also, the way you reach out is important. If your message is filled with anger or blame, then he is less likely to reply you. So it is important to check the tone of your message before sending it out.

Hi,
My exboyfriend broke up with me after a 7yr relationship together. He told me that he fell out of love because we dont spend much time together because i was too busy with my career. We were together for 4yrs then the remaining 3years were LDR like its a 6hr drive from his place to mine. I asked if he has someone new he said none. He also told me that he has a lot of insecurities because i earn more than what he is earning….i asked him when did he feel that he didnt love me anymore, he said since May 2015. He broke up with me on June 17, 2015. i want him back but im not sure if he still loves me. I’ve been on NC rule since June 18 but he first texted me saying that his mom wants us back so i replied and i just said that my family also felt the same but thats not what he feels for me and after that he didnt send me messages anymore but i really want him back. Im on NC rule for 8days now. Will this work?

My ex is hanging out with a recent x friend of mine I am worried but I know that she still cares somehow I can just feel it….the last time we split she did the same thing to make me jealous. …so she may b doin that idk. Any advice!!!!!!!!! Thanx

My ex b.f. is in minimal contact. He calls but selectively responds to texts, not the ones where its clear a reply would be nice. Also, I had to move out of state. He claimed 1st that I wasn’t the only one hurting. We parted as friends & he said he wants/desires to get back together but he wants what God wants to let the creator decide. I get that but he killed me last night when I said I miss him did he even miss me? He said yes but that the decision made was for the best! I said oh so were never getting back together? He said he didn’t mean it that way that he wants what God wants. May I mention he’s a recovering alcoholic and relapsed in October 2015 this time he has taken sobriety serious after 36 years of on & off sobriety. I’m grateful but his sobriety is what broke us up. So I’m beyond hurt we had 6 years together 2yrs friends w/benefits we loved each other strongly & I still love him, his last words to me were he loved me. So I don’t know to do have hope, give up, I’m miserable & miss my hm & friends terribly. CAN SOMEONE PLZ REACH OUT TO ME?

I broke up with my ex 8 months ago but a couple of months after the break up we decided to stay friends. We get along pretty well of course we do have some disagreements sometimes but nothing we can’t fix. For some reason when we are together he wants me to be always close to him so he can hug me and touch me. I love it because I still have lots of feelings for this guy. About a month ago we had dinner which is the first time I pay after a year together. We had a great time but at some point during the conversation I mentioned how I finally understood that we were only going to be friends and nothing more than that. His reaction was’t what I was expecting he said he didn’t want to hurt me, that i was the last person he wanted to hurt and was starting to cry. Until this day I can’t understand why he reacted that way. A couple of weeks from today he went to Florida for a week and during his stay there we had a small conversation and at the end he said we needed to talk. It’s been 2 weeks since he came back home and he hasn’t contacted me at all, worse he has been ignoring me for those whole 2 weeks he reads my texts and I get no reply. I decided to call him last night and nothing. I am so hurt and confused I don’t know what all this is about. I love him and I don’t want to lose him again. Please help!

I’ve come on too strong with the guy I’ve been dating by being clingy. He has been ignoring me for three days and I have asked him a few times if he wants to end the relationship or keep going. I’ve asked him if I need to come get my belongings and move on and he always ignores the question. What’s the hidden message here? I’m guessing he wants to try again but he wants me to prove that I can go a day or two without texting him. Like he wants proof that I’m not dependent on his companionship. I wrote him a letter today and gave it to him in person today. I only saw him briefly and he asked what it was and I just asked him to read it. In the letter I once again asked for some kind of response so I’m not left wondering and he has yet to respond. So I think my theory of him wanting me to prove to him is correct. I hope anyways.

Listen mate its hard
I had the horror story wife
Met her rich left her poor
Some girls are un fixable value you know you are a fucking ledgend and all things will work out
Im with a total babe now who truly loves me you will find it mate trust yourself know who you are AGAIN and love being you

I was engaged to a man I fell deeply in love with… We were together for 8mths and I was supposed to move to Italy with him… He is obsessed with his mom and can’t make any decisions without her input. Well she came to visit and stayed for 4mths! (Yes she’s married) His mom gossiped a lot and I internalized a lot of things I didn’t agree with her. We got into a huge fight to the point it got physical… His mom came into the room and started yelling at me and called the police on me as if I was the attacker!!!! They both lied to cops and he threw me out of the house… Mind you I gave up my job and military career for him and packed to move and start a new life with him before we got engaged…. He won’t listen to me or let me explain my part and his mom said she will disown him if he forgives me. I know we love each other veryyyyy much but we never had the chance to be alone and grow together because of his mom. He cried to me and seemed so confused on what to do but he left to Italy without me and a week before he left we finally talked and he told me he was sorry and he loved me and that he’ll talk later. It’s been 3wks and he will not return my calls or emails! I’m devastated! I’m back home trying to get my job back and picking up the pieces…. I’m heart broken and I feel like I’m not going to get through this…

After it didn’t work for us, we talked a few times after we broke up. I felt that its my opportunity to express my deep love for him. His response to my long message was ‘okay’ lol. I just didn’t want to regret not saying to him how much I love him even if we won’t continue together. Another response to me when I said to him my love is bigger than the universe was “will you cover your face and quit working if we get married?” lol
I still love him but I am not going to bury myself alive :)
The weird thing is that he is an American!

hi
me and my boyfrd love each other but my family was against that relation, so i accept my parents wish and marry another man. unluckily my marriage life was not successful. now after 6 years i contact with my ex back. we talked for one month. now he is ignoring me.
can i get my ex back

Is your ex in a relationship now? If he is, is he happy in his current relationship? If he is already in a happy relationship, then it is obviously going to be very difficult for you to get your ex back.

Why is he suddenly ignoring you? What have you talked about?

Are you still married? If you are still married, then he is definitely going to hesitate to get back together with you.

My ex broke it off with me after about a year because he didn’t feel the spark anymore. We had both been pretty busy and it was our first rough patch. We had never fought or anything. After he broke it off I begged for him to give us a chance to at least try but he refused. 3 weeks later he was (is) with a new guy. Personally I think this is fast but I’m not sure. We went NC for a month and then we were supposed to meet up. He didn’t show. He said he wanted to remain friends and that I was very special to him but why is he now ignoring me? I’m still hurt and confused :/

The new relationship might be a rebound. So you probably don’t have to worry about the new guy.

He is ignoring you probably because he isn’t ready to talk to you. The way you reach out to him may also be the reason for him ignoring you.

As you mentioned, you are still hurt. Perhaps he can somehow sense it, maybe because of the way you write your message. Therefore, he may feeling a sense of guilt.

Those are some possible reasons that are causing him to avoid you. Therefore, you should consider taking some time to heal first. Most probably, more time is needed before he is ready to talk to you again.

My ex bf broke up with me in July (2015) and his reasoning was “I just can’t do this right now”, “it’s not you its me”. It was very all of a sudden and he never gave me a reason for breaking up with me. The worst part is, is that he broke up with me the same day i gave him my virginity, and told him something personal about myself. We go to the same school, so I’m going to see him from time to time. He keeps ignoring me, although he said he wanted to be friendlier. I’ve asked him if he wanted to talk but he just says he has to go and never answers the question. I just don’t understand why he is ignoring me, or what he is thinking. I never got any closure either.

We were together for 4 years. I do love her but I made lots of mistakes during relationship. she broke up with me on her birthday I cried I plead but it’s all doesn’t one work i tried to get her back for nearly 7 months now she completely moved on and don’t even care about me! What should I do? We are in long distance now. She said she will never come back now! she don’t text in last two weeks I love her a lot :(

Basically my ex (hard to call him that) he doesn’t want to be with me ever again, he said he love me less and his moving on. But, he did cry to my friend and said he still loves me. The root of our problem is me. I had depression and anger issue. I have mentally abuse him to a bad point, I realize that now. And it was a traumatizing experience for him (even he admit to my friend). He doesn’t talk to anyone in depth about our relationship as far as I know. He actually never told me this, he told that close particular friend of mine. He gave me totally different reason. I begged him for almost 3 months, I’ve been in nc for a 11 days. Last convo we had, i told him i was seeking professional help and he is happy but we are never getting back together. Have I lost my chance is it too late. I’ve been going through therapy and he knows about it but still he won’t change his mind. I’m scared.

There are people out there with situation much worse than your but they still manage to get back together somehow. So you have a chance too. Your situation is not as bad as you think. There are definitely people who got back together like 1 year after the break up. Therefore, I don’t think it is too late for you.

You just need to be patient. You have just broken up and the negative memories are still fresh in his mind and the fact that you begged him for 3 months probably push him a little further away. Give it some time for the tension to settle. Just remember, next time when you reach out to him, don’t push.

Understand that when it comes to relationship, nothing is cast in stone. People can fall out of love. But people can fall back in love too even in the worst situations.

Your situation is far from the worst I have seen. So don’t worry too much.

Right now, your most important task is to focus on yourself and your therapy. You need to heal first so that you have the emotional strength to save your relationship.

My ex dumped me after 6 months together. Before we dated, he never so much as said hi to me because he was that shy. He even had to get a sibling of his to ask me out for him. We texted and went on dates and he said he thought i was very pretty and a nice smart girl and he liked me ever since he saw me. During that time, (we go to the same church) he ignored me when he was with his friends. I didn’t expect him to be with me the whole time, but it was like he didn’t know I was even there. Other than that, It went well up until two weeks before the breakup. His responses over text were reduced to a few words and he didn’t seem to want to meet. He is naturally a shy and reserved guy, so i was a bit worried but didn’t want to say anything. He sent me a long text message saying that i am a sweet girl but he didn’t think that dating me was God’s plan for right now in his life. He said maybe in a year or two it would be God’s plan. After that he completely ignored me, and has been for the last 4 months. I know this means he’s over me, and I had no reason to like him so long after he dumped me, but even so I still hoped we would be together. The thing is, I don’t know if I’m completely over him or not, but I am almost positive that he is over me. I have no idea what i couldve done to make him change his feelings for me in that short amount of time. I would very much appreciate some feedback, on anything about what happened and why he’s acting that way, and even if not, talking about it helped too. Either way, thank you for taking the time to read this, I can assume your very busy.

Well, I don’t think it has got anything to do with you. Perhaps something happen in his life? That’s why he decided to breakup? You mentioned that he is a very shy and reserved guy. So he is probably not someone who open up easily and I don’t think he is telling you the truth. I think God’s plan seems more like an excuse, a way to let you down gently.

Anyway, I think it is pointless to try and figure out why he’s acting that way. It doesn’t really lead to any positive outcome. It is probably more constructive to spend the time figuring out what you really want. If you figured out that you still want him back, then you can start reaching out to him and focus on the emotional connection.

When the emotional connection is strong enough, a relationship can happen again, regardless of the reason why he chose to breakup in the first place. When the emotional connection is strong enough, he is more likely to open up and tell you the truth.

Trying to read minds here is not going to help you learn the truth anyway. At most, you can only make educated guess.

I can’t get over an ex and it’s been 4 years now. He rebounded, and properly stonewalled me, never once checking if I was ok even. And I saw his social media recently he has married the rebound girl. I can’t believe this is real or happened to me, feels that should have been me, only I was swapped out.

I’ve been stuck all this time, how do I get out from being stuck? :?

It’s just so unfair, and the betrayal of trust, he broke up with me on my birthday and said, it’s as good a day as any other.

I’m stuck in my life and I can’t seem to shake it off. How do I? (I think the reason I am finding it hard is that I couldn’t accept it, that it was real, he was doing that to my life, messing it up).

You can consider practicing present moment awareness. When you are in the present moment, you are actually training yourself to let go of the past and future and only focusing on the present.

In a way, you are practicing letting go. If you are consistent, after practicing for a period of time, say one month, you may find it easier for you to start letting go.

The reason why it is so hard for you to let go is because you have been training yourself not to let go. You keep on thinking about the past, how much he hurt you etc. You keep on replaying the same scenario in your head over and over again.

That is why you need to start breaking this pattern and bring your focus to the present.

My ex boyfriend and I have a rocky relationship for many years. Because of this I was reluctant to move in together (I have 2 kids). Recently we discussed moving in…the conversation didn’t go well. We ended up in a big fight and had limited contact for a few weeks. Admittely I was stubborn about talking about moving in again. I said something that I didn’t mean. Finally after a weeks I realized I was the one being stubborn and owed it to him to talk about everything. He would barely respond to texts. I asked if he met someone, he said “don’t ask”. He asked if I was hurt and that it was nothing compared to how Ive hurt him. He stopped all communication after that. It has been 2 weeks without a word. I have left many messages, telling him I was sorry, that I loved him, that I didn’t want to lose him and we need to talk. Not a word. Not one single reply. I have no idea if he is punishing me, or has met someone and moved on. A month ago he wanted to move in a marry me. I’m heartbroken and so are my kids. Further attempts to contact him seems like it would be futile and a huge mistake.

If you want to save your relationship, it is very important to learn how to manage your emotions and look at things from a more logical point of view.

For example, you said “Further attempts to contact him seems like it would be futile and a huge mistake.”

Is that true? Or is it because of the way you are reaching out to him?

How you reach out to him is going to make a huge difference. Right now, he is not replying you because the messages you sent are too heavily laden with emotions. It is extremely hard to reply these messages.

With that said, I am not asking you to contact him now. You are still too emotional now and he probably is as well. Therefore, it will be better if you wait till you are in a better place emotionally before you get in touch with him again.

The first thing you need to do is to give yourself the time to heal. If you are still emotional, it will reflect naturally on your actions and the words you say. You will also need to take the time to learn new relationship skills before you try to get him back.

Without new relationship skills, even if you manage to get back together with him, the relationship will probably continue to be rocky and that defeat the purpose of getting back together.

Hey, my boyfriend and I got back together a month ago after 2 months of being apart. He told me how much he missed me, how he never was anyone elses etc etc.
He made me promise him stuff to make sure I wouldn’t make the same mistake again. ( I was addicted to an online chat) SO I promised him and I am clean sinse then.
After a week of being together again (and everything was perfectly fine during that week, we were happy and he even told me ‘Always be like this, no matter how busy either one of us gets’ ). After a week we had a fight because a friend of mine told a friend of his how we were struggling etc. He got mad because he thinks I tell everything that happens between us to that person, which is not true.
He told me he d talk to me later that day, but he started to ignore me and it s been a month that we didn’t talk like we used to.
After a week of him ignoring me, I asked him if we were breaking up, he said ‘no..’ and went right back to ignoring me after that.
An other week past and I got mad and texted him and asked him to make a choice, he told me he wasn’t sure if he wants a serious relationship now or not. So I felt used and got mad and told him that if he wanted to continue with me he had to make a decision that same day if he respected me even a little bit.
So he replied saying ‘ What’s up with u pushing me to make a decision that s so important to me without thinking etc. and what has all this to do with me not respecting u’ SO I said ‘because u keep pushing me away.. I only want u’
So this continued that day till he stopped answering me AGAIN. An other week passed and he texted me saying ‘My Phone went broke, I ll get it back next week. ‘
I said ‘ Np, I can’t talk anyway, take care’ and he replied ‘You too take care’ It’s been 6 days and no word from him . .. He ll get his Phone back this week idk what day tho..
I don’t know what to do, I am not the kinda girl that gets mad and wants revenge.. I know he s not alright and I understand that he needed time to think.. but at the same time he hurt me.. I am just afraid he got over me..
I am afraid he doesn’t have feeling for me anymore cuz it s been a month.. I am afraid he ll break up with me .. I don’t know what to do.

My boyfriend broke up with me after 13 years together. He was in another relationship not long after knowing I wanted him back. We have a 7 year old daughter and it’s breaking her apart seeing us not together. He ignores me and he says he wants to go see the girl in Ohio to see if he likes her. If not he’ll come back to me. How do I cope with this? It’s killing me.

Sometimes, people have the “grass is greener” syndrome. If he wants to go to Ohio, there is nothing you can do about it. Just let him go. Most probably, he will realize that the grass is not greener after all and will regret his decision of leaving you and your daughter. Then he will want to come back.

Meanwhile, you should focus on improving and working on yourself. Become a better version of yourself and when he see your improvement, he will start chasing after you. With that said, you should set a boundary as well. It is probably not a good idea to just take him back immediately when he starts chasing after you. This is not about playing mind games. It is about letting him know that he cannot just walk in and out of the relationship as and when he likes. Otherwise, he may take you for granted.