Me Time (Guest Blogger Brandie Manigault)

As children, many of us dream of the day when we will become a wife and a mom. We play dress up and have tea parties with our dolls. In our imaginary playdates we are always serving our “guests”. From little girls it is in us to “do for others”, and we did it with smiles on our faces, because it gave us pleasure to see our teddy bears happy.

But, as we got older, serving others became more of a chore or a burden than a pleasurable experience. The dreams that we envisioned of our family and careers didn’t include the stress on our bodies, the time constraints of balancing the many variables, or the lack of personal time we would be allotted each day.

The one thing that didn’t change, however, is our commitment to give all that we have to others. As women we take on the burden of being everything to everyone; sometimes it’s a self-imposed burden and at other it comes with the “job”. We wear multiple hats, sometimes one at a time and at other times, two or three hats at once. We give of ourselves to ensure that the people around us are taken care of, loved on, nurtured, comforted, encouraged, provided for, and appreciated.

As mothers we will bend over backwards to chauffeur the children to school and practices, work on homework, volunteer at their school, and squeeze in some semblance of quality family time before bed. As wives we will make sure the house is clean, dinner is made, egos are stroked, our husband feels like “the man”, our “wifely duties” are handled, and all while balancing being an independent woman with being a submissive wife. And these are just our “home” hats. We also wear the daughter hat, sister hat, minister/ and or minister’s wife hat, employee/ employer hat, and friend hat.

With all that we have on us each day, how often do we take all those hats off and ONLY wear the “ME” hat? Not often at all. We have become so consumed with the welfare of others that by the time we get to ourselves we are depleted of all energy, strength, and effort. It is in our nature to nurture, to help, to give, but it is usually directed outward and hardly ever inward.

We constantly rehearse these lines over and over again: “Who will do it if I don’t?” “They need me.” “I can’t say no.” “Let me do it so that it gets done.” We convince ourselves that we have to take care of everything, not realizing that taking care of everything includes taking care of ourselves as well.

Pamela Hines writes in her book The Fabric of a Woman,

“Unfortunately, many women sacrifice their personal care, growth, or development because they devote all of their time and efforts to serving others… but how can we really give ourselves to our families, and to others who depend on us, if we fail to first take the time to get what we need?”.

When we continuously give out and never take the time to replenish, we have the potential to do more harm in our relationships than good. We begin to operate out of frustration, irritability, and resentment for the ones we serve and for the job that we love.

As women we tend to feel that it is not okay to take time for ourselves, but it is okay to be selfish, having “ME” moments. You will be more of what everyone else needs you to be, including yourself, when you have properly tended to yourself. You will be happier, feel better, and be able to do more when you are at full capacity, but you can only be at your best if you place value on yourself enough to invest in yourself.

How often have you passed on getting a manicure because you decided to spend that money to take your children for ice cream, or instead of making a dinner that you want you take a family poll and make what they want? Sometimes you just have to tell everyone else “No” so that you can tell yourself “Yes.” It doesn’t make you a bad wife, mom, friend, etc. when you put yourself first. It just means that you value yourself and want what’s best for you as well as everyone else. Challenge yourself to be OK with having those selfish moments. Give yourself what you always give to others… YOU.

Love Wins,
– Brandie

Brandie Manigault: When. She learns of something good, her first instinct is to share it with the world; whether it is a sale at a store, a beautiful picture, a good book, or a revelation from the Word of God.

Author of “New Day Fresh Start“, a daily devotional designed to unlock a journey of conversation between the reader and the Lord throughout the day, Brandie maintains a weekly devotional blog on social media.

With a Business Degree from Oral Roberts University and a Master’s in Human Services/ Marriage in the Family from Liberty University, she has managed both the administration and the finances departments for businesses, ministries, and churches in Maryland, California, and Texas. She has helped local churches build from the ground up and consults for ministries nationwide.

Alongside her husband, Tim, Brandie co-founded Healing Voice Ministries, a nonprofit ministry whose aim is to be a voice of healing and hope provoking the earth to experience fellowship with God through worship all by His grace and love. Together they serve their local church in California, minister to couples embarking on their journey towards marriage as well as couples in crisis. With all that she has going on, her number one priority is her husband and their three children (soon to be four). Brandie can say with all assurance that there is no other assignment more important, more fulfilling, more challenging or more rewarding than being a wife and mother.

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Brandie Manigault: When. She learns of something good, her first instinct is to share it with the world; whether it is a sale at a store, a beautiful picture, a good book, or a revelation from the Word of God.

Author of “New Day Fresh Start“, a daily devotional designed to unlock a journey of conversation between the reader and the Lord throughout the day, Brandie maintains a weekly devotional blog on social media.

With a Business Degree from Oral Roberts University and a Master’s in Human Services/ Marriage in the Family from Liberty University, she has managed both the administration and the finances departments for businesses, ministries, and churches in Maryland, California, and Texas. She has helped local churches build from the ground up and consults for ministries nationwide.

Alongside her husband, Tim, Brandie co-founded Healing Voice Ministries, a nonprofit ministry whose aim is to be a voice of healing and hope provoking the earth to experience fellowship with God through worship all by His grace and love. Together they serve their local church in California, minister to couples embarking on their journey towards marriage as well as couples in crisis. With all that she has going on, her number one priority is her husband and their three children (soon to be four). Brandie can say with all assurance that there is no other assignment more important, more fulfilling, more challenging or more rewarding than being a wife and mother.

Thank you! This is confirmation for what God is working out in me lately. My greatest joys have been in my family! But, as the death of my only daughter, children growing up and leaving except one and caregiving for my husband is ongoing this message is overdue for my own heart and well being.