It feels like everyone at Stanford is in some type of LDR or married, so you'll be in good company (but you'll still probably break up).

I skimmed the thread and I don't think anyone mentioned the different grading systems, which I feel is an important consideration. Less stress = Higher quality of life. Less impact of grades on your potential employment. It helps.

Many people have found that their need-based aid may trump what is offered in scholarships at other schools even if you don't think you're all that needy. Try to file as an independent and your aid will increase. You will have absolutely no problem making it back to the east coast/DC, UVA may have a very slight advantage but it's not enough to worry about. Stanford would probably be a better location for your interest in IP.

MartianManhunter wrote:It feels like everyone at Stanford is in some type of LDR or married, so you'll be in good company (but you'll still probably break up).

I skimmed the thread and I don't think anyone mentioned the different grading systems, which I feel is an important consideration. Less stress = Higher quality of life. Less impact of grades on your potential employment. It helps.

Many people have found that their need-based aid may trump what is offered in scholarships at other schools even if you don't think you're all that needy. Try to file as an independent and your aid will increase. You will have absolutely no problem making it back to the east coast/DC, UVA may have a very slight advantage but it's not enough to worry about. Stanford would probably be a better location for your interest in IP.

Man I love it here but even I won't give it to UVA on this one--Stanford is a much better choice for working in DC than UVA is. The only place where I wouldn't feel at a major disadvantage to a SLS grad for a job would be the South.

I dated my SO four longer than you have throughout undergrad and we broke up in the middle of last semester.

BTW: we both went to the same ivy undergrad and he was at MIT for engineering. Which, is as hard as med school/law school.

You never really know. Do what is safest for yourself. If you break up (which I didn't think we would break up... but law school is VERY different from undergrad... and we did spend summers apart also). You don't want to kick yourself if things don't work out. Do what's best for yourself.

I dated my SO four longer than you have throughout undergrad and we broke up in the middle of last semester.

BTW: we both went to the same ivy undergrad and he was at MIT for engineering. Which, is as hard as med school/law school.

You never really know. Do what is safest for yourself. If you break up (which I didn't think we would break up... but law school is VERY different from undergrad... and we did spend summers apart also). You don't want to kick yourself if things don't work out. Do what's best for yourself.

This.

/thread

What is the lesson to be learned? That going long distance in two hard programs is a bad idea? Or that relationships fall apart so look out for yourself?

I dated my SO four longer than you have throughout undergrad and we broke up in the middle of last semester.

BTW: we both went to the same ivy undergrad and he was at MIT for engineering. Which, is as hard as med school/law school.

You never really know. Do what is safest for yourself. If you break up (which I didn't think we would break up... but law school is VERY different from undergrad... and we did spend summers apart also). You don't want to kick yourself if things don't work out. Do what's best for yourself.

This.

/thread

What is the lesson to be learned? That going long distance in two hard programs is a bad idea? Or that relationships fall apart so look out for yourself?

I was mainly referring to look out for yourself. If you're married, have kids, or whatever, that's a different story, but relationships are too fickle before all that for it to merit ditching Stanford for UVA. I would also agree with the sentiment that LDRs are just bad and should be avoided in general.

OP, I have a story for you. First, please don't take this the wrong way, but we can never predict other people's behavior, no matter how well we think we know them. ITE, it's not an impossible turn of events.

You pass up Stanford for UVA. You and your SO are happy, but sometimes you find yourself wondering about what might have been. Your first year goes well, and you're about median. OCI goes okay, you get an offer or two from a mid-level firm. Or maybe not. Somewhere about halfway through your 2L-->3L summer, SO starts snuggling up to an undergrad (or does something equally bad). In a fit of self-preservation, you dump him.

How do you feel about your career prospects now? Satisfied, or still wondering about Stanford?

I say, don't make your life decisions to accommodate a boy who's not your husband. Hell, even then, don't do it. Did he have this discussion with you before he decided on UVA med?

UVA FTW! In all seriousness though, I think you will get an amazing legal education at either school. If you have the chance visit both of them and then decide from there. I think if you would be a successful attorney out of Stanford you would also be a successful attorney out of UVA.

Nah. Some may say that I am naieve, but I believe in true love, and I sense it in the OP. That is something you can't find just anywhere. If you've found it, you shouldn't ever let it go. Don't let people pressure you believing a breakup is inevitable, follow your heart. Or you may just look back ten, twenty, fifty years from now and wonder the price you paid. The secret to life is finding happiness -- and I just don't think attending a school based on some arbitrary rankings is worth sacrificing a shot at genuine happiness. Rankings and job prospects are not the end all be all, and odds are you will be very successful at either school you choose.

I think something to consider is how your performance in law school would/would not be affected by a long distance relationship with your SO.

LDRs are a lot of work and missing someone takes up a surprising amount of energy. Energy that should probably be spent studying Torts or whatever.

I'm in a LDR with my own SO and we're making it work. She's in Japan for the semester and I'm in Chicago (for the moment -- I travel a lot myself for work and there have been times when she's been in Japan and I've been in Munich or she's been in Atlanta and I've been in London, etc). It can be done. But I know I'm better able to focus when she's around. And I know that I want her with me when I go to law school because I'm just better when I'm with her.

Plus, it's nice having someone to come home to. I think it gives me the balance that I find necessary to succeed. If I've got nothing in my life but law school, I'm not going to do well. I need a life to keep me sane and I need to stay sane if I want to do well in school. So having her there facilitates that.

You obviously know your situation better than anyone else, but I can relate, so I'll share what I would do if it were me.

I've been with my boyfriend since first semester freshman year of undergrad, and now we're seniors. We're both looking at law schools, but we're from two completely different parts of the country. This complicates things even further, because we have completely different home markets. Pending our LSAT scores (he already took it, but I didn't), we might very well be shooting for different levels. Who knows. Our GPA's are on slightly different levels after all. We're both applying for Fall 2012, and all I know is that I'd choose going to the same school as him over HYS or CCN for sure.

We have also survived 3 years together including two semesters abroad and being 1000+ miles apart every single break from school. If you know you want to be together, I don't see the point in torturing yourselves, at least if you're like us. We help each other study and focus on school and do better. Does your work ethic benefit from your s.o.? You'll know since you've spent those semesters and summers apart. If so, like I said, don't torture yourself. Be there to support and encourage each other.

Hypothetically, if my s.o. were to get into a better school than me and were to choose it, no I wouldn't dump him, because obviously that wouldn't help anyone. But I would be upset, and I think my work would suffer from it. Med school and law school are rough and will keep you guys busy. It will be hard to find time to keep it together and support each other from thousands of miles away. But if you go to school together, and ostensibly live together, you don't even have to go out of your way to spend time together. You can get positive energy and support from each other, just by being around each other, no matter what you're doing.

If you spend those 3 years apart, does that guarantee a break-up? Absolutely not. You'll have break at least every few months and you'll get summers together. You guys are obviously serious if you have an understanding that you'll get married to each other some day, and you're smart to wait until you're financially independent. The most important question is how much you guys benefit from being around each other and how much of your success is hinged on it.

Honestly, I don't think you can go wrong with UVA. It's cheaper, solid, and you're returning there. But Stanford is Stanford. If it's meant to be, it will work out no matter what you choose. Go with your gut. There is peace of mind to be gained with either decision. "Turning down Stanford" is still quite prestigious, and turning down Stanford for love is romantic.

Sorry for the ramble, but I feel you. Best of luck! You truly deserve it.

framboozer wrote:You obviously know your situation better than anyone else, but I can relate, so I'll share what I would do if it were me.

I've been with my boyfriend since first semester freshman year of undergrad, and now we're seniors. We're both looking at law schools, but we're from two completely different parts of the country. This complicates things even further, because we have completely different home markets. Pending our LSAT scores (he already took it, but I didn't), we might very well be shooting for different levels. Who knows. Our GPA's are on slightly different levels after all. We're both applying for Fall 2012, and all I know is that I'd choose going to the same school as him over HYS or CCN for sure.

We have also survived 3 years together including two semesters abroad and being 1000+ miles apart every single break from school. If you know you want to be together, I don't see the point in torturing yourselves, at least if you're like us. We help each other study and focus on school and do better. Does your work ethic benefit from your s.o.? You'll know since you've spent those semesters and summers apart. If so, like I said, don't torture yourself. Be there to support and encourage each other.

Hypothetically, if my s.o. were to get into a better school than me and were to choose it, no I wouldn't dump him, because obviously that wouldn't help anyone. But I would be upset, and I think my work would suffer from it. Med school and law school are rough and will keep you guys busy. It will be hard to find time to keep it together and support each other from thousands of miles away. But if you go to school together, and ostensibly live together, you don't even have to go out of your way to spend time together. You can get positive energy and support from each other, just by being around each other, no matter what you're doing.

If you spend those 3 years apart, does that guarantee a break-up? Absolutely not. You'll have break at least every few months and you'll get summers together. You guys are obviously serious if you have an understanding that you'll get married to each other some day, and you're smart to wait until you're financially independent. The most important question is how much you guys benefit from being around each other and how much of your success is hinged on it.

Honestly, I don't think you can go wrong with UVA. It's cheaper, solid, and you're returning there. But Stanford is Stanford. If it's meant to be, it will work out no matter what you choose. Go with your gut. There is peace of mind to be gained with either decision. "Turning down Stanford" is still quite prestigious, and turning down Stanford for love is romantic.

Sorry for the ramble, but I feel you. Best of luck! You truly deserve it.

Over/under on how long before this relationship ends in a bitter break up?