(Closed) Newbie with a wacky budget

Hi ladies! I’ve been lurking on the boards for a few months, and I figured its time to say hi! I’m definetly stuck on that wait list, firmly in the girlfriend zone, but Mr. Bear and I have had many a conversation about weddings and houses and babies, oh my. He knows where the perfect ring is, and I know he’s gonna try for it or at least something similar (it’s waaaay more than we should spend but I’m in love with it). The only catch is I have no idea when he’ll finally pop the question. Could be this summer, could be a couple years yet. Anyways. We’ve actually gone as far as to mention a budget to each other and set savings goals.

It seems like he’s most comfortable staying around $10k, including everything (rings, honeymoon, ect) and that amount is contingent on us having an equal amount saved for a down payment. I’d like to spend $16k, half on the wedding, half on the honeymoon, because I currently manage all the finances and feel we could ramp up our monthly saving to have $30000 within 2 years (half of which is for the house).

Now. Here’s my idea for a budget breakdown. After much discussion, I feel the rings and honeymoon should be our biggest spends. After all, the rings are with you forever, and they honeymoon is all about us, whereas I see the wedding becoming totally about the families (which is still cool). But I feel like if I can’t have my dream ring I’d rather just get something that good enough and splurge on something awesome for 10yrs. Mr Bear has little opinion on where to spend, as long as a good time is had by all. My percentages are way off “the recommended” so I’m curious if I sound crazy – will I regret not splurging on a professional photog or a band? will our grandmas feel cheaper out on, being the proper society girls that they are? will we miss the whole wedding dinner official-ness?

We’re thinking an in the park picnic, mid-morning swingin’ brunch

About 80 guests – could easily be 120, right now almost all close family, struggling with whether to invite cousins, kids and +1s

So far, no favors, no dj (we’d love a swing band, but can we afford it… Hmmm?), I’m doing my own hair and makeup, we’re getting ready at families houses so no need to pay for hotels, no bachelor/ bachelorette parties.

In my mind, I still have about $2000 to play with. Do I slush fund it? Add it to an existing category? Is there some expense I’m leaving out?

*OR* Do I scrimp even more, up the budget by a couple grand and go for that dream ring?

Thank god for anybody who hung in there, I know that was a raged of a long post. Any advise ido much appreciated!

My first thought is why do you have table decor for a blanket picnic? Is this crockery/cutlery? And if not, are those items included in your caterer quote? It all seems quite low for that many people, so are the costs for booze, food, benches (which I would think are much more exxy), ceremony/celebrant actual quotes? Dress and suit costs could also be too low.

Also SE Asia is very very cheap after initial costs for flights. Have you done a budget for this? I had a 2 weeks holiday there last year and only spent about $1500 on food, hotel, scubaing.. You might be able to save more there and reallocate to rings.

In general though I think a picnic brunch is a lovely way to celebrate your marriage, I know plenty of other bees have done this before you to save on costs or to have something a little less traditional.

Sounds great for a budget wedding! I do think $300 is low for alcohol unless you’re planning on people not drinking much. Also make sure you have at least $500 contingency in the budget because you WILL go over budget for something or another, or you will think of something else that you didn’t plan for. The honeymoon sounds really expensive to me though, there’s gotta be a way you can do that cheaper.

I think a few of your estimates are rather optimistic, but it really depends on the area and your expectations. If a diamond is a large component of your dream ring cost, personally I’d just get a moissanite or something and upgrade the stone at 10 years if you feel the need. Weddings generally have a bunch of little expenses that can add up fast (things like undergarments, or extra decorations, transportation, crockery, etc.). Also bear in mind that many parks do not allow you to bring seating or tables, so make sure you check the rules for your area.

Firstly, good on you for setting saving goals! Secondly, I’d agree with others that your wedding costs are a little optimistic and incomplete. There’s definitely one key thing missing – marriage licence and officiant.

Costs will vary from region to region but if you’re focus is on a low budget wedding then definitely hit the blogs geared towards that kind of celebration (young house love, 2000 dollar budget wedding, etc, etc). As for a honeymoon, $8000 could give you 3 weeks in Europe. SE Asia is increadibly cheap – even if you want to luxe it up. Check out tripadvisor to get a better sense of budget and how far your dollar will stretch. <br /><br />Finally, I’d agree with others about the dream ring alternatives – especially if you want to buy a house. Every extra dollar counts towards a smaller loan which economically will mean an even more outrageously beautiful ring at 10 years. If you can stomach this reasoning go for it. Otherwise splurge on the ring to save yourself stewing for 10 years about it 🙂

kikie.bear: I think food and drink may be a bit low. Good beer and decent wine is pricey on its own. Unless you are going to do very traditional picnic foods, $1,200 may not feed 80 to 120 guests as well as you’d like.

I found that when I first started thinking of budgets, I had a very reasonable, sound figure. Then I started pricing things out and realized that I was grossly underestimating things. I would start putting your feelers out to get a firm idea of costs. What will the local bakery sell you 300 finger sandwiches for? What can you buy a case of champagne for? Will you need permits for the park? For the booze? How about renting extra tables and chairs and even a tent?

kikie.bear: I think daytime weddings are lovely. With that said, I would advise you to avoid planning until you are actually engaged. Your boyfriend may end up wanting something completely different from what you envisioned, so it’s better not to get too attached to any one idea.

$12/person for even picnic foods is incredibly optimistic, plus I have a hard time seeing such low amounts spent on the guests followed by a high-dollar honeymoon. I think it’s kind of cold to host your guests with the bare minimums only to turn around and splurge on yourselves.

This sounds very low to me. We are doing a beer and wine bar as well, soda’s and non-alcoholic drinks provided by caterer, and we’ve already spent about $600 on alcohol. Our headcount came in at 86ppl. We have kept the wine cost to around $10 a bottle, so nothing extravagant, but it still adds up.

I also had a $500 dress budget, totally doable, but I blew it on a $1300 dress… I love my dress and felt it was worth it. So, keeping a budget is doable, but you have to be REALLY disiplined.

$100 gift for each photographer is waaaay low. Photography is $$$$ and it’s pretty uncool to give them $100 or a $100 gift when they’ve saved you a couple grand. You also need to budget prints, framing, etc of those photos. If you’re not even engaged yet, how do you know all these people are willing to do all this work for you for free? Being a wedding photographer is really hard work and in lots of cases, if Ted is a close friend of the groom, Ted would rather be a guest than a photographer so he can enjoy the day.