Review: Steel Panther – All You Can Eat

Steel Panther is your favorite heavy metal band, whether you like it or not. They’ve got the moves, the talent and the looks, but they lack the ability to be completely serious, which is especially true of their music. The heavy metal motto is “Sex, Drugs & Rock N Roll”, they’ve got that in spades and they aren’t the least bit shy about singing every intimate detail to you. Their album, Balls Out, which was released in 2011 contained such gems as “Just Like Tiger Woods”, “It Ain’t Gonna Suck Itself (featuring Chad Kroeger and Nuno Bettencourt)” and “Supersonic Sex Machine”. One things for sure, you can’t ever tell these lovely gents to tone it down or else you’ll get their newest album, “All You Can Eat”.

The cover art for the album stirred up a bit of controversy among those of the Christian faith. It depicts the band at the “Last Supper” setting, only surrounded by beautiful women. The title, “All You Can Eat”, becomes apparent when you open up the booklet and look at the back (or get the CD/DVD version, which has an insert with that particular picture as the artwork). The album opens up with an acoustic strumming, followed by an explosion into frontman Michael Starr’s 80s-esque vocals as the band begins the aptly titled, “Pussywhipped”. Of course, the title of this song should make the lyrical content quite apparent but if not, let’s sum it up. Men who jump when their woman says to do something, for fear of being left or otherwise scorned, are coined a certain term. What is it, you ask? You guessed it! Pussywhipped! This track is calling out all of the fellas who are so beat up by that pink treasure in between her legs, that it forces them to do things they’d otherwise never have done.

The next song I want to talk about is the first single from the album, “Party Like Tomorrow is the End of the World”. Again, the lyrical content of this track, along with any other track on the album, should be quite apparent. This one pays homage to the ultimate party experience, the day before the end of the world. The video, which is included in the stream linked below (NSFW), depicts the band partying after the devil informs them that the end of the world will be tomorrow. However, at the end of the video, he’s depicted snorting cocaine and quoted as saying “Fuck it!”, making it appear that SP saved the world. The instrumentals, especially the solos, make this track pop a bit more than the rest of the album.

Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought, “Damn, I’m gorgeous!”, so has Michael Starr and he wants to tell you how much of a hassle it can be. I’m talking, of course, about the track “The Burden of Being Wonderful”. These guys have a way of making songs so catchy that you can’t help but learn the lyrics and sing along, despite the subject matter which is always farthest from anything serious. This is what makes their brand of comedy hair metal so appealing to fans the world over. They never take themselves too seriously, they live for what they do and they’re not shy about it. “The Burden of Being Wonderful” is about those days you just feel so damn good about yourself, you find yourself feeling sorry for those you meet. That video is also included in the stream linked below.

The last track I want to talk about is “Bukkake Tears”, which is a track for all of you porn afficionados out there. There are those groupies out there who will do anything for the band they’re following. This includes having a train run on her, being covered with hot, sticky white goo and keeping a smile on her face. However, this track is about those who regret the decision afterwards, but who go through with it anyway. “There was so much love on your face, I couldn’t see the tears”, those lyrics pretty much sum up this track. It’s more or less a love ballad that’s literally about being “loved” a little too much by the boys in SP.

I don’t want to spoil all the twists and turns this album has in it, but suffice it to say that arenas will be filled with screaming women showing their best assets, fans screaming their silly lyrics right along with them and a new love for their unique brand of heavy metal. There is a reason that Steel Panther is at the top of the food chain and has become a household name worldwide. If you don’t believe me and you love 80s Heavy Metal, pick up your copy of “All You Can Eat” or check out the stream below! You won’t regret it! Check them out on tour, including the upcoming KQRC Rockfest in Kansas City, KS on May 31st!