Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Bike Collabos: It Takes Two (to rip you off)

As a blogger and aggregator of all that is irritating, reprehensible, and fatuous in cycling, I often receive pictures of and links to offensive bicycles from readers. I always enjoy receiving these. I regard them as vile tokens of appreciation, in much the same way as the singer of a band might appreciate having underwear thrown at him onstage, even if they've been worn for upwards of 36 hours, have frayed elastic, and are badly in need of laundering.

Occasionally a bicycle is remarkable enough that a number of people forward it to me, and in the last few months one of the most forwarded bicycles has been the Fuji Obey. Despite the fact that it is indeed a noteworthy bicycle for a number of reasons, I have not mentioned it until now. This has been kicking around (the internet at least) for a long time. But if you haven't seen it yet, here it is:

This is perhaps the most contrived collision between a cheap bike and street art since some guy in Williamsburg intentionally ghost-rode his Schwinn Varsity conversion into a Biggie Smalls mural. If you’re unfamiliar with “Obey,” it started as a “street art campaign” and an “experiment in phenomenology” (according to paradigm of accuracy Wikipedia). And if you’re unfamiliar with street art, it’s basically just pretentious litter.

The Fuji Obey is especially noteworthy because it points to a trend of stylistic “collabos” in the cycling world. There are all types of collabos, but one popular type is when a tired old company attempts to breathe new life into itself by paying someone they’re told is cool to create brilliant new products like this. Or this. Sometimes the collabo is even between two tired old companies, like this. But no matter how they occur, collabos, (or “corporate lame brand offerings”) are tremendously exciting. First of all, they don’t “come out” or “become available.” That’s reserved for boring things like sandwiches, commemorative coins, and heart medicines. Instead, they “drop.” Secondly, collabos allow you to advertise two stupid brands on one product for the price of three.

Collabos are particularly popular in the world of hip-hop, where selling out is not only acceptable but required. Pioneering hip-hop branding collabos over the years include The Wu-Tang Clan and General Foods (Wu-Tang Tang), Ice-T and Folger’s (Ice-T Iced Coffee), and NWA and Kellogg’s (Fuck Tha Police Cereal). And beyond that, collabos have existed as long as people have. Some examples of historical collabos are the Jews and Jesus (Christianity), serfs and rats (the Bubonic Plague), and World War II.

So as fixed-gears become popular with “street culture” enthusiasts, you can expect more and more collabos. Like this one, which is only $6,000, and which I'm surprised Eric Clapton hasn't bought yet:

In fact, even I’m jumping onto the tail end of the collabo pack. After considering numerous offers, I decided to go with discount online retailer bikesdirect.com, for a special limited edition of their Windsor “The Hour.” Here’s the original bike:

And here’s the BSNYC collabo:

Notice the collabo doesn’t have valve caps. I hate valve caps! It will also come with a BSNYC sticker (which you can put on yourself) and will retail for $2,500. (Or about 20 Euros.)

Why does a bike with "new rear track bike dropout system designed specifically for messengers" cost $6000? Why are kinda deep track-ends even considered "designed". They had to have come straight from a catalog.

So I have double pnumonia and bronchitus, do you have any friggin idea how much pain you caused me with "The Wu-Tang Clan and General Foods (Wu-Tang Tang)"? I'm suing!

BTW: Any chance I can get a BSNYC Collabos Conversion Kit for my bike? I can't afford $2500 on a new bike but would gladly pay $1000 for instructions of how to remove my valve stem caps to convert my old bike into new and worthy of being "dropped"?

I'm not even upset about it. Frankly, I'm impressed. I'm impressed (1) at the nerve of those bastards to charge $6k for that bike; (2) that the individuals dumb enough to pay $6k for that bike didn't all die off during the Cambrian era, y'know, when multi-cellular organisms evolved and became dominant.

Yeah, and because of a nearly crapped out, cracked LCD panel on my laptop, the BSNYC Windsor collabo has a nice yellow and red streak on it as long as I display both images on my screen simultaneously!

I saw some dude wearing those Iron Maiden shoes in front of the bike shop on Saturday. He was my age (about thirty) and was wearing a tee shirt with "fuck you" written on it and a giant, complicated pewter belt buckle in the shape of a grinning skull. He looked like one of those infants whose "cool" parents dress like a punk rocker. Seriously, those shoes might as well say Bob the Builder.

How can Fuji possibly justify the MSRP on that thing? Are the Obey licensing fees really that high? Power to the people, right?

I just got a book of Rilke-wisdom called Letters on Life. It's good. My cat is getting better.There's a lot of snow in Chicago.I'm debating whether I want to ride or take the El to class today. I wish I could read on my bike. Without getting hurt, I mean.I think winter might be my favorite season.

I love the description of that insipid Kid Robotard bike "built from a mix of Dedacciai , True-Temper and some vintage Tange tubes" Translated:You're an idiot who poses as a messenger while getting checks from mom and dad, so I built this bike out of a bunch of wrecked bikes I had in my crap pile wit some stuff I bought from Aircraft Spruce.

The extra-deep dropouts lets Kid Snobot sell them a really cool gold-anodized tool called a ratchet that goes "clickety click" and has been engraved, sorry, tattooed by Ed Hardy with a grinning Japanese Devil. Price $145

As far as the Obey goes...what year is this? 1999? It's actually a perfect embodiment of the crap culture known as "street art." B-O-R-I-N-G!

I'm surprised you can't buy either of these exercises in Keynes Marginal Propensity to Consume at your local Urban Outfitters.

You could pick one up along with your Vans.

Daniel, the next time you see the guy with the Iron Maiden vans, kick him in the nuts! That's street art!

Man, I gotta get me some Ice-Tea Iced Coffee! And yeah, rappers all seel out, eagerly anticipate it and then want to be CEOs instead of rappers. Chris Rock does a bit about that. "Nobody is a rapper anymore, they are all entrepreneurs. That is why raps sucks right now."

That red, white and blue Project Nemesis bike is hideous. But they had so much fun with the little touches: a Kid Robot keychain (for the custom U-lock keys), a Kid Robot emblem on the head tube, and Kid Robot valve stem caps. But my favorite is the pretentious white ostrich leather seat. And what is that gray thing in the middle of the saddle? I guess it's just a label - placed annoyingly right under your anus. But the hemorrhoids are well worth showing off the saddle brand.

Some more unsuccessful collabos: Flava Flav and Rolex; Luciano Pavarotti and Loretta Lynn (not making that up); General mills and Scott Bakula (Count Bakula cereal, the one with the least memorable taste); and Microsoft and Apple, for the iCrap: the future in on-line shitting.

BSNYC: Did you also notice that (came today) Newsweek magazine has two advertisements featuring bike to sell other products: Toyota is advertising a minivan on the back cover underneath two people playing bike polo in a park: 'big enough to carry all your gear'; as well as a hotel advertising a bike club to entice travelers ? Apparently cycling in all it forms is now mainstream? Or was it always but people forgot ? Does this effect the apoca-watch in any way ?

Tried to look at the lookmannohands site - failed! I just can't read spraybomb. Why is it that everything cool is fashioned in the hip-hop style? I wish I had my own camera crew that followed me around - I could, with my single hand, make redneck fashionable again. I'm both in and out raged..

I have seen the Obey Fuji in real life. "Where?" you ask. Not in a bike shop, nor under a rider. Indeed not even locked up in front of a trendy bar. It is hanging in the window in an "urban wear" store. The kind that sells custom sneakers that just "dropped" and hooded sweat shirts festooned with "$$" and references to illegal business enterprises. Maybe the Obey will become the whip of choice amongst gangstas, hustlas and playas. Cycling will become cool yet! If Jay Z drops another album, you know that he will have to reference his custom FGFer if he has any hope of remaining relevant with the youth of today.

(I know I put Isaiah Thomas and the Knicks in there twice. But have you seen how bad the Knicks are under Isaiah? Only respect for Spike Lee, who seems to think he's a co-owner, keeps me from listing them again. They're that bad).

I just got a book of Rilke-wisdom called Letters on Life. It's good. My cat is getting better.There's a lot of snow in Chicago.I'm debating whether I want to ride or take the El to class today. I wish I could read on my bike. Without getting hurt, I mean.I think winter might be my favorite season.

Don't hate cuz no one wants to do a collabo with you. If the OBEY sux so bad how come every shop that has ordered them has already sold out of them! Why? Cus off the rack it's a good fuckin ride. Fuji didn't just jump on the collabo band-wagon, they actually talked to riders who are in the scene and asked what would work and what wouldn't. Don't pass judgement through pix off the web. If you take a close enough look at the actual bike it's pretty bad-ass. Lugged steel frame, real Track geometry, Miche cranks, Brooks saddle...not to shabby. Yeah it's a little pricey, but with the possibility of it only being available for ONE year...that's the price you pay for limited editions. Just ask you're local Nike nerd, they'll tell you all about that type of shit

Wow you've convinced me. I don't know if it was your mastery of the written word or your obvious finger on the pulse of the hipster generation...I'm going to march right out and get me one of whatever the hell you say will make me cool....cuz I ain't haitin....I'm laughing!

If the OBEY sux so bad how come every shop that has ordered them has already sold out of them! Why?

Word 'em up dude. That's some seriously impeccable logic. And Huffy, Nickelback, and Danielle Steele also turn out top-of-the-line products. Look at their sales!

Fuji didn't just jump on the collabo band-wagon, they actually talked to riders who are in the scene and asked what would work and what wouldn't.

What scene? I don't recall being consulted.

Don't pass judgement through pix off the web. If you take a close enough look at the actual bike it's pretty bad-ass. Lugged steel frame, real Track geometry, Miche cranks, Brooks saddle...not to shabby.

Yeah, just like a cheapy conversion with a hundred-dollar saddle and new cranks. Plus, it's probably easier to sandblast the stupid-looking finish off an older bike before you powder-coat it.

Yeah it's a little pricey, but with the possibility of it only being available for ONE year...that's the price you pay for limited editions. Just ask you're local Nike nerd, they'll tell you all about that type of shit

Very limited... Just like those Franklin Mint plates my grandmother collected. Dude: they're limiting them to the number they can sell, and they're only making those bikes for a year because by next year, anyone who might have bought one but didn't will have moved on to some other ridiculous fad. And asking someone who collects tennis shoes about anything seems like a pretty sure-fire way to obtain a useless, nonsensical response.

And I thought that I had latched onto the cool bike scene and might cruise with some babes on the streets. By the looks of the young lassies on NY Times I have been chasing the wrong bus. Any one want to buy a sparkling black road bike as I am going back to the mini golf circuit as plaid covered caddies are looking good. Also where is the Cogs Kiddie as being at the pointy end of a trend is his turf

I think snob logged in as Ano-5:43 PM just too stir the pot; the whole post led from one hitch to the next zing to the next rim shot. Masterful! As usual, I'm always swayed during a discussion by those that use the 'z' in place of an 's' and the x in place of 'ctures.'

Dearest Clayton,You will have to excuse my brother, Quentin. Please do not be furious with him. He thinks that he is in love with me! But what he really loves is death. My other brother thinks I smell like leaves! They are so silly!-Caddy

jeremy: thanks for the info on the Pivotal Seat - an elegant design with an achilles heel: the allen wrench access hole on the top of the seat. But if they go with a cutout saddle design they're golden.

Thanks for the Blackberry/Vandermark mutual ass-licking session. Vandermark looks EXACTLY like 99% of the people who ride his bikes. They look like, well, engineers and professionals who don't ride bikes.

Sevens "disappear under the rider" because most Seven owners have more than enough adipose tissue to hide nearly any vehicle under their ample posteriors.

Yeah, right on brother! Artist should stick to art and bike companies should stick makin bikes! The two should never mix! They should both remain PURE! The combination of the two mediums will create an inferior culture of in the world of the bike nerd! So I say DOWN WITH DIVERSITY! DOWN WITH CREATIVITY! DOWN WITH FREE ENTERPRISE! AND UP YOUR BUTTT WITH A COCONUT! SEIG HEINY! HAHAHAAAA

Wow, I am all about bikes and riding but you guys are a bunch of wankers. This is my first look at this site. While I appreciate the humor and sentiment, it shouldn't be taken personally. You guys posting comments on here need to go pedal your ass around and stop whining about what Fuji and Obey are doing. What possible difference could it make in your life?

Wow, I am all about bikes and riding but you guys are a bunch of wankers. This is my first look at this site. While I appreciate the humor and sentiment, it shouldn't be taken personally. You guys posting comments on here need to go pedal your ass around and stop whining about what Fuji and Obey are doing. What possible difference could it make in your life?

The "custom designed" dropouts on that Kid Robot monstrosity look very similar to the dropouts found on the #250 complete Cayne Uno Track bike, the house brand for J&B distributors.Nothing says custom like ripping of J&B.

Hello bikesnob Blogfirst off let me say thank you for generating over 2500 hits to my web blog over the past 24 hours!

The comments comprised here are absurd .First off let me remind you of a few things you all might have forgotten.

ART: by definition is perceived in the eyes of the beholder.Art should spur discussion and controversy Thus you have all done this for me , so thank you for legitimizing my ART bike.

Kid-Robot spec'd the outrageous price of 6K What hasent been mentioned is the amount of time and hand labor that went into building this bike , EVERYTHING was either custom painted or modified in some way.The frame is a one off hand built 1 of 1 custom , build in the USA from the best materials possible.STOCK Nemesis Project frames range from $850-$1500The retail value of the parts alone is well over $2500 not including custom paint of the frame .

A few of you have commented on the dropouts These are by NO means catalogue rip offs , but 1000% one off designed drops .Please see attached link below for pic's of the solid works renderings of the drops that were one off CNC'd for this bike .

ART: by definition is perceived in the eyes of the beholder.Art should spur discussion and controversy Thus you have all done this for me , so thank you for legitimizing my ART bike.

art –noun 1. the quality, production, expression, or realm, according to aesthetic principles, of what is beautiful, appealing, or of more than ordinary significance.

I don't see anything about the, uh, "eye of the beholder" in there. Or discussion and controversy. Nor do I see anything of more than ordinary significance in the bike, except the price tag and the ridiculous paint job. That thing is not art, anymore than my bike is art. Just because you made it and you think it's neat doesn't mean it's in the same category as, say, "JUPITER AND SEMELE". It's just a bike. It has a weird paint job. That's it. Of course, if you're referring to the definitions farther down on the page, I might concede that there's an element of art to what you do:

Trickery, you know? Like telling people True Temper is the "best material possible" (well, I suppose they did use it to build some awesome low-to-mid range Trek in the eighties) or that the retail value of the parts on that bike is over $2500 (is, ahem, "Kid Robot" selling them?)

If art is in the eye of the beholder Brad, then the comments here aren't absurd, they're just what we're seeing when we look at your project.

Personally, I don't see a lot of craftmanship or any real understanding of what bike is or does. I see something that has a particularly non-distinct form which has almost completely supplanted all function, and looks much like any hipster fixed gear I see here in the Mission. But of course costs way more.

If I was going to drop the kind of money you guys are asking for this bike, I'd go with these guys (and probably still have some change leftover)...

http://www.vanillabicycles.com/

...as to your comment about art spurring controversy, I think you're leaning a little heavily on that cliche; after all we've been criticizing the price you're asking not some underlying theme you've explored or some innovative technique you've used. Maybe you're aspiring to be the Andy Warhol of fixed-gears, but that's hardly controversial in any substantive way.

But hey, these are just the thoughts that come to mind when I see your project.

Ahhh, a discussion of what is art with a reference to the art versus artifice conundrum!

And in a bicycling blog no less!

To Daniel's and Anon 12:45's insightful comments, let me just add the following reminder.

The term "BS Artist" can refer to (a) credibility and a lack thereof, (b) the artist's disappointing aesthetics or skills, (c) a person whose advocacy abilities are so advanced that he can convince someone else to pay a substantial premium for a bike because it comes with a colorful patter and back story, or (a)someone one who works with cow pies.

Notice I used "(a)" twice. That was not a typo.

Rather it was a bold aesthetic choice demonstrating that I am not enslaved to the accepted conventions of alpha-numerical progressions and their related epistomologies.

Or it could be evidence that I too am capable of some modest BS Artistry.

>Blogger ZiP said...>my fav collabo:>DQM and Trackstar last year.>Question though: how much were those Bianchi Pista Concepts they had fixed up?>I see one or two around here in the Lower, they're pretty.

Yeah, but you're likely not getting the joke that they may not have realized they made.

All those collabos had late 80's/early 90's freestyle stickers referencing bikes that slammed the door on the era of the really cool BMX bikes and style. By the late 80's companies like GT, Hutch, Schwinn, etc were no longer built in Santa Ana or Chicago or Florida, but outsourced to Taiwan. With some exceptions, the only thing remaining of the product that made them famous in the first place was the name on the sticker. Predictably, as the quality went down the tubes and interest in BMX moved on to MTB, BMX's relatively reserved chrome and candy colors were replaced with neon.

Does this story sound familiar to anyone? I think Trackstar is actually fairly prescient in predicting their own demise.

Swobo has a bike customized by Sub Pop and Jeff Kleinsmith.Jsut a bike covered with stickers. Not for sale though. Although that would the ultimate fuck-all.You could sell a Tange prestige crapmobile constructed of vintage tubing and covered with limited edition stickers.Why the stickers alone are one of a kind handmade on my printer.By themselves they are worth thousands.Hey Kid Robot, wanna sell it?

i agree with a lot of what was said. i think its a bit contrived to label all "street art" as pretentious. if you want to talk about pretentious you should read your own blog. youre a biker, not an artist so stick to what you know.

interesting enough, super touch has posted a response to all this obey plagarism:http://www.supertouchart.com/2009/02/02/editorial-the-medium-is-the-message-shepard-fairey-and-the-art-of-appropriation/

There are four different Fuji Newest bikes in the market. The Newest 4.0 which is the cheapest of the range. Fuji makes some very nice bikes, their top end frames are very good. http://www.bikecyclingreviews.com/faq/Do_We_Know_Fuji_Bikes.html

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About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!