The 1,000 Post Descent Into X Men Analogies…

Actually, the total count is less than it should be thanks to some rubbish web hosting company who inexplicably deleted our original site from their server after we crashed it – 1,000 is what we’ve amassed since.

A dark beginning that almost saw the site fold completely, but thanks to the inherent stubbornness Yorkshire people like myself are born with, The Scratching Shed learnt from those early mistakes and a thousand posts later, here we are – still spewing slanderous anti-Bates propaganda, still riddled with inconsistencies dictated by mood at time of writing, still following the ups and downs of Leeds United.

Of course, such milestones provoke a feeling of nostalgia. One can’t help but reminisce on the history of the site and ponder what it is exactly The Scratching Shed represents? I quickly came to the conclusion that the site represents Leeds United – or more precisely, a group of fans’ views on Leeds United – and with that taken care of, I got bored and started to contemplate the following;

If Ken Bates was a supervillain, who would he be?

My initial thought was the Joker from Batman because of how much I hate clowns (Stephen Kings “It” scarred me for life), but that was the only similarity I could draw between the two so instead decided on Magneto from X Men.

There’s the obvious stuff like a profound arrogance and posse of followers hired to do their dirty work (Harvey/Mystique), but the superpower Magneto possesses (ability to attract and manipulate metal) is perfect for Bates. No longer would he have to build bars and restaurants or increase ticket prices to bankrupt us, he could simply draw all the cash from our pockets with his superpower as we enter Elland Road.

Also, Magneto divides opinion amongst his own kind, much like Ken Bates and the football community. Magneto’s not entirely bad, and what he wants isn’t too far out of sync with that of the good guys – he just has different ideas on how to reach that goal. Similarly, Ken Bates isn’t pure evil (I’d say 99% on account of the free programme he once gave us…) and he does want the same thing as the good guys (the Leeds United fans), but his idea on how that should be achieved is totally misguided.

It’s like they were separated at birth!

This is going somewhere, honest…

Anyway, my point is – I didn’t actually have one and am improvising here – that after so many posts I’m running out of ways to insult Ken Bates and poorly crafted X-Men analogies are the best I could come up with.

The day when I ran out of ways to insult Ken Bates was bound to arrive sooner or later, but thanks to the fans that have helped out on the site over the past few years we’ve managed to keep things relatively fresh.

I don’t want this to become reminiscent of an Oscar speech, but I’d like to thank (in no particular order) Timothy Hodge, Michael Green (back by popular demand here), Ryan Parrish, Gary Hartley and all the other writers – there are far too many to list – that have contributed to the The Scratching Shed over the past few years. I sincerely doubt we’d have survived this long had it not been for their contributions, and I’m eternally thankful to them all.

My biggest hope going forward is that our new Article Submission feature continues to prove popular and that the contributions provided by fans will ensure the site is still going strong when we reach the 2,000 mark. Like all blogs, The Scratching Shed is written for the enjoyment of shared experienced (alongside narcissism and vanity of course) and each and every fan that visits, comments and contributes helps facilitate our existence.

Without the fans that frequent this site, the writers would have to find other ways to vent their anger. Cats would be kicked, walls would be punched and mental health institutes would be overflowing. By reading The Scratching Shed you are therefore helping to make the world a better place and for that, we thank you all.

Have to say TSS, in the time I’ve been visiting here, your news stories have been nothing but excellent, and you’re a fair minded honest guy, hope you keep the site going for as long as you can, as it’s clearly in the top 3 Leeds resources online.

Who does the maths for Bates the same bloke who gave barn door billy a 4 year contract! (which is my understanding ) To spend 20 million on players you need 2-3 years in the Premier League – I dont think 150 prawn muncher seats will reach that total – although I have no calculator to hand!!

The Cheese Wedge is now for Leeds fans – like I say I have not got my calculator to hand but roughtly if you had used those seats for a one off family package (2 adults and 2 kids for £50) I am fairly certain the return would be an improvement on a load of empty seats (police costs or not). Then again I am one of those knuckle dragging morons that sit (stand) in the Kop! so what do I know!

Ken I am a season ticket holder….. I am not bothered Ken – I will pay over the odds for the rest of this season (based on the pro-rata cost of my season ticket) – sell the empty seats for £20 sell a family package and fill the bloody ground which is what the team and everyone else wants. I think I can speak for the rest of the season ticket holders (we aint bothered we just want out team promoted).

You may find that this in itself improves the results – Jesus man get the olive branch out and lets get promoted (the hard way obviously)