"The only way to make things right is to do the worst, most awful thing imaginable."
"Dip your penis in vinegar." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S02E08)

"Some things might come easier to you if you stop being such a perfectionist, a concept you should become…familiar with."
"Familiar with… A dangling preposition?"
"I'm setting an example. I made an error, and I'm not going to correct it. I'm just going to let it dangle, dangle, dangle." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S02E08)

"Jess brought me a hot lunch lady. What am I supposed to do with that?"
"Do sex with the lunch lady. That's obvious."
"I know how it sounds, but she's, like, a real lunch lady."
"After she has sex with you, she could put food in your mouth." (New Girl, S04E09)

"Rooney is my people." (New Girl, S04E09)

LOOK WHO'S BACK (Degrassi, S14E05)

Drinking beer with a straw (Friends of the People, S01E05)

Young Maurice the god – ha! (Friends of the People, S01E05)

"I'm not wearing any underwear."
"Then how do you block the dookies? Do they just fall out?" (Friends of the People, S01E05)