Once upon a time, there was a hotshot offensive coordinator. Got his team to a Super Bowl and then was hired as a head coach by a conference rival.

But it was a tough road. The young head coach ran into problems and was fired after just 20 games.

“I remember a lot about it,” Kyle Shanahan said.

The 49ers’ rookie head coach is 2 years older than his father was when he became head coach of the Los Angeles Raiders. The elder Shanahan had a rocky start to his career. He clashed with Al Davis, was accused of micromanaging and was fired four games into his second season.

“I remember coming home and him being on the couch on a random Monday or Tuesday,” said Shanahan, who was in fourth grade at the time. “That was weird. I’d never seen my dad on the couch at 3 in the afternoon during the football season.

“I ran up to my room and ripped Raiders posters off the wall. Then I tried to put them back up because I ripped down Marcus Allen and I still liked Marcus Allen. I acted like a little kid.”

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The little kid grew up and absorbed the lessons of his father’s career. Though Kyle Shanahan disputes that Mike was a micro-manager, that was his reputation, at least in the context of the rebellious Raiders. Mike didn’t want players sitting on their helmets during practice or spitting sunflower seeds. He also inherited Tom Flores’ assistant coaches and infuriated Davis by firing or clashing with some of the Raiders’ greats.

“That was a little different situation than most head coaches have to deal with,” Kyle Shanahan said. “I’m similar to him in that you try to hire the right people and then let them do their job.

“I’m not (a micro-manager) at all.”

It appears not. In his first months on the job, Shanahan has brought a confidence and authenticity to the job. He is not trying to give the impression that he knows everything, the way so many young coaches do.

He is not blustery or self-aggrandizing. The man who famously lost his backpack (and game plan) at the Super Bowl for a few hours, recently was secure enough to admit he forgot that he had to name game-day captains.

Shanahan does not appear to be a super control freak, the way most NFL coaches are. Consider his words on the issue that NFL teams desperately want to control.

The 49ers’ Kyle Shanahan does not appear to be a coach who’s a control freak.

Photo: Marcio Jose Sanchez, Associated Press

“I’m not going to tell anyone what to do or not to do,” Shanahan said Thursday, when asked about potential anthem protests. “I see stuff on TV also, things that are going on in this country and this world. And I think anybody that sees that stuff and doesn’t get the feeling that they would like to do something about it, I think something’s wrong with you.

Though Shanahan said he personally stands for the flag “because it’s something I’ve always done,” he also said he’s so locked into his job during the anthem he might not notice what his players are doing. He doesn’t need to be informed of a protest ahead of time.

“It doesn’t matter to me,” he said. “It wouldn’t distract me.”

He added that though he hasn’t addressed the issue with the team, he would hope to engage in conversation with his players if they chose to take action.

“I think everyone wants to make a change,” he said. “I’m not going to sit and tell people how to do that. That’s up to them. That’s why our country is the best country. If someone does decide to do that, I’ll talk to anybody about anything. I’d like to know what our players are thinking.”

For the record, this is perhaps the most reasoned, calm response I’ve heard any head coach or NFL boss give to the issue. The fact that it’s coming from one of the youngest, newest coaches in the NFL is telling.

Shanahan has been preparing himself for this job his whole life, absorbing lessons along the way, particularly from his father. One gets the feeling that Kyle’s career might not have as rocky a start as his father’s.

Born in San Francisco and raised in Marin County, Ann Killion has covered Bay Area sports for more than two decades. An award-winning columnist and a veteran of 11 Olympics, several World Cups and the Tour de France, Ann joined The Chronicle in 2012. Ann has worked for the San Jose Mercury News, the Los Angeles Times and Sports Illustrated. She is a New York Times best-selling author, having co-written "Solo: A Memoir of Hope" with soccer star Hope Solo,"Throw Like A Girl" with softball player Jennie Finch and two middle-grade books on soccer, “Champions of Women’s Soccer” and “Champions of Men’s Soccer.” She was named California Sportswriter of the Year in both 2014 and 2017. She has two children and lives in Mill Valley.