]]>https://susanstackpole.wordpress.com/2009/12/12/xerox-helps-you-thank-us-soliders/feed/0susan stackpoleLet's Say ThanksThrival versus Survivalhttps://susanstackpole.wordpress.com/2009/05/13/thrival-versus-survival/
https://susanstackpole.wordpress.com/2009/05/13/thrival-versus-survival/#respondWed, 13 May 2009 11:47:46 +0000http://susanstackpole.wordpress.com/?p=45]]>Media would have us believe that life is hard – health, relationships, spiritual awareness, success, and wealth are all difficult to come by, and if you are lucky, after years of toiling away, you might have something to show for it. On the other hand, there are those people who seem to have everything, and it comes easily to them. Have you ever asked yourself why some people struggle to survive while others thrive?

Below are some points I’ve found helpful in unlocking the secrets of the universe, which when it comes down to it, the universe is actually pretty straight-forward and much like a person.

1.) Manage Well

Are You asking God/Source/Universe for more? Are you receiving more? If not, take a look around your life and see how you are managing what God/Source/Universe has already given you. Are you wasteful? Do you take things for granted? Are you respectful of the things you do have? God/Source/Universe is like a parent – S/He certainly isn’t going to take the training wheels off of your bike before are ready. S/He certainly isn’t going to be inclined to allow you to have two scoops of ice cream on your ice cream cone if you have trouble with one. For some reason, we mistakenly believe something new or having more will make us feel better. Really? Right now, if there are clothes on your floor or a leaky faucet that needs repair or clutter that needs removed, you are not displaying to God/Source/Universe that you can handle riding a bike sans training wheels, and you certainly are not ready to manage that second scoop of ice cream. Start being grateful for what you do have and treat it with respect, which will give you a renewed sense of enthusiasm for what you do have and recharge your vibrational energy so you will begin attracting more good things into your life.

2.) Ask Genuinely and Release

Have you ever had the experience of being a small child who really wanted something – a book, a bike, a doll, a game, a special toy, etc.? So every day, you would pester your parents, saying, “Please can I have this thing I really want?” or “I promise if we get a dog, I will walk it every day.” or “If you let me go to Sally’s party, I won’t ever ask you for anything else.” Have you seen children who do this? What usually happens? Eventually, the parent gets so annoyed that s/he either gives in to something that perhaps isn’t the child’s best interest or gets so sick and tired of hearing about it decides that there is no way the child is getting it. God/Source/Universe is the same way. If we ask earnestly from our heart and trust that God/Universe/Source is working for our good, then it is easy to ask once and trust that the best possible thing is coming to us. Remember that God/Source/Universe’s delays are not God’s denials; however, if we push, sometimes we will get something that isn’t as good for us as if we waited.

Often, ego (Edging God Out) steps in and says, “What if God/Source/Universe doesn’t know what S/He is doing? Maybe we would worry about this so we can stay on top of what’s going on?” So then we start to shift into a place of fear – what if God/Source/Universe doesn’t provide? We begin having thoughts like, “If I don’t get this thing, my life will be over.” If the thing isn’t manifesting as quickly as we’d like, we keep asking more and more, even making deals like, “If you give me this one thing, I won’t ask for anything else.”

If someone comes to you with an earnest heartfelt request, how do you respond? How do you respond when someone asks you repeatedly, tugging at your pant leg, begging you for something? Which feels better to you?

Ask from the heart and release with faith trusting God/Source/Universe is bringing what is best for your highest good, even if it’s not exactly the thing you were wanting. Chances are what you receive will creating unimaginable blessings in your life.

God/Source/Universe is always good.

3.) Let Go

As human beings, for some, one of the most challenging things to hear is, “Let It Go.” or “Let Go and Let God.” Why? Why do we have such a fear of releasing? Often, our idea of self is based on what we think other people think about us or what we want others to think about us. When is the last time you checked in with your heart to see what it really wants? Is it telling you something crazy like, “I’m tired of living in the city. I’d like to move somewhere in the mountains.” What happens when you hear this voice? Ego and Logic jump in and freak out, saying, “What is wrong with you? How will you support yourself? You’ll lose your job and your friends and be miserable. What a stupid idea!” So then you continue going to work at a job you don’t really like in a city that you’re sick of and hang out with a group of people that maybe you realize you don’t have as much in common with as you once thought.

When you ask for something new, chances are you will need to release something old. Most people fear not being loved or failing, which is the underlying fear of letting go of the familiar. Know that you are loved beyond measure just being the beautiful person you are. The reason we come into this world with nothing is because we are beautiful and whole exactly how we are. Every resource you could ever want lies inside you – it’s why humans where created in the image of God/Source/Universe – to manifest and grow. Trust the process.

4.) Trust Your Heart

Small children are conditioned to go against what their hearts and bodies are telling them. “Sit still. Mind your manners. Finish the food on your plate, don’t you know children are starving in other countries? What is wrong with you? How could you be so stupid?” The list goes on and on. We are taught to please our parents, grandparents, teachers, friends, boyfriends/girlfriends, spouses, our own children, etc.. Suddenly, years have gone by and we see someone unrecognizable when we look in the mirror.

How often does the word “should” enter your conversation with yourself or other? “I should take out the trash. I should wash the car. I should do some laundry. I should be more productive. I should finish the report for tomorrow. I should go to the party. I should send a thank you.” When we “should” do something, it means that we are doing it to keep someone else happy, but it’s not what our heart truly wants to do in that moment. Have you ever worked on a math problem or worked to balance your budget and sat for hours without finding the solution? You finally decide it’s time for a break, and when you come back, the answer suddenly seems very obvious.

Your heart has what you desire and what will make you the happiest. We are conditioned to believe life must be a certain way, and any deviation outside of that will result in certain failure. Interesting. Did you ever notice that the people who are the happiest are living life on their terms? Are they doing things you can’t see for yourself but would love to be doing?

Today, begin tuning in and listening to your heart without judgment. Just listen to what it’s telling you. It’s as if you are taking a small child by the hand and s/he is telling you a story. What is your heart saying to you today?

5.) Fear is an Illusion

Have you ever done something frightening – like getting married or jumping out of a plane or moving to a new city or talking to the cute guy/gal that you’ve had a crush on? How did it feel before you did it? Were your hands clammy? Was your heart beating overtime? Were you tongue-tied? How did you feel after you did it – excited happy, relieved, surprised? Interesting that your feelings changed afterwards… if fear were real, then wouldn’t you have the same sensations after as before?

As children, we are taught to be fearful because it protects us. Don’t touch the hot stove, or you will get burned. Hold my hand when you cross the street so you don’t get hit by a car. Don’t talk to strangers because they could hurt you. We learn that fear is a good thing and protects us. We also learn to fear when we get hurt – if we fall off our bicycle or get our hearts broken, we associate the bike or relationships with pain, and so we begin to fear them. Hmm. To never ride a bicycle or fall in love again would truly limit our experience in this lifetime. Perhaps a more helpful approach would be to be aware of challenges along the path and allow for them without taking them personally.

Fear is the same adrenaline rush as excitement. So what if rather than fearing something new, we became excited? What if you said to yourself, “I feel a bit excited about this new challenge.”

Fear tells us something is important to us and is going to offer us a large opportunity to growth. The next time you fear fearful about something, see if you can tap into a sense of gratitude for the fear showing you what is important to you. See if the fear subsides once you have tapped into your gratitude.

Change is our natural state, and so to fear it is unnatural, which is not to say to do something before you are ready. It is simply to say that life happens, and the more you can enjoy the journey, the richer your experience. At the end of your life, you will more strongly regret the things you did not do than the things you did.

You know that thing you keep thinking about doing. Go ahead. Take the chance.

6.) Your Beliefs Determine Your Results

Has anyone ever told you, if it’s too good to be true, it usually is? Do you believe that? Did you ever have a bad relationship experience and begin to believe it’s not safe to trust other people? Do you have some strong beliefs around money – that it’s hard to come by, easy come easy go, that rich people are evil?

The brain has so much information speeding at it at one time, it literally cannot process everything, so it creates beliefs so it knows what to look for. As an example, say you are thinking about purchasing a new car, and you’d really like a silver mercedes benz. Suddenly, you begin seeing them everywhere. Were there always that many? Yes, though your focus was on something else.

You will always, always, always get what you believe. The ego loves to be right, and so it likes when your beliefs are confirmed, even if those beliefs are not in your best interest. If you believe relationships are dangerous and hurtful, then you will be attracted to relationships that will hurt you and left wondering why you get your heart broken. If you believe that life is hard, you will see everything in life as being difficult.

As an example of how beliefs shape one’s experience, considering the following scenario:

Driver #1 – middle-aged person, happily married with three beautiful children – happily driving a beat-up fifteen year old ford camry knowing by driving that car he’s putting more money into his children’s college accounts

Driver #2 – successful advertising executive, living the high life in a large city, friends with people because of their shared-status, driving a brand new porshce that isn’t particularly comfortable but is impressive to everyone who sees it.

Drivers #1 and #2 are in a rural area of New Jersey headed home late one night. Driver #1 is coming home from a second job and Driver #2 is leaving an advertising awards ceremony and excited about just having won a huge award. Driver #1 is extremely tired, and Driver #2 is extremely happy. Neither driver is paying full attention. A thunderstorm makes the windy country road difficult to navigate. Both cars are traveling in opposite directions coming around a sharp curve. Driver #2 had a little to drink at the award ceremony and is repeatedly crossing the center line. Driver #1 is working hard to stay awake, though keeps drifting off and swerving over the center line. Coming around a particularly sharp curve, both drivers cross the center line, and due to their impaired states, have no ability to react and crash into one another. Both are rushed to the hospital and walk away with minor injuries, though both vehicles have been totaled.

Driver #1 is extremely grateful for having survived the accident and has a new lease on life, happily returning home to be with the family.

Driver #2 is extremely irritated that the new car was totaled in the accident and that the facial abrasions are going to be unsightly for the morning meeting.

Driver #1 believes “Life always has a way of working out.”

Driver #2 believes, “Nothing good ever lasts.”

Isn’t it interesting that Driver #1, who has significantly less, who lost their only car without means to buy a new one, working two jobs for the children to attend college is much happier than Driver #2 who has every material desire satisfied and yet is still focusing on all the things wrong in life.

Look at the results in your life, and that will tell you what you believe. If you want the life someone else is living, found out what they believe, and begin incorporating those beliefs into your life.

Begin testing your beliefs to see if they are actually true. The way to do this is try on a new belief, and see if that’s true. For instance, many people were raised with the adage, “money is the root of all evil.” Hmm. Is that true? It seems like it takes money to fund medical research and children’s charities and help people in third world countries. Is that evil? If a homeless person who lost their home in a fire suddenly is given a couple dollars to afford a small meal, is that evil? If your child suddenly needed millions of dollars in medical care, and you have the money, is that evil?

I’ve found that money tends to reveal a person’s true heart condition and their self-beliefs. Some wealthy people change the world for everyone, some just change it for themselves. What kind of person do you need to be to create and sustain a wealthy lifestyle?

We always get what we expect based on our beliefs. What you believe is what you will achieve. Change your beliefs. Change your life.

7.) Allow Yourself to Receive

Do you feel worthy? Do you feel deserving? Do you love yourself the way you wish someone else would love you? Sometimes, we aren’t always treated with love or respect. If this happens, especially during childhood, it is easy to internalize the belief, “I must not be worthy of love or good things.” We take on other’s inabilities because it gives us a sense of having control over an uncontrollable situation.

Someone who does not love and respect self is only capable of loving and respecting you at the same level at which s/he loves and respects himself/herself. If someone does not love you, it is not personal. It’s simply something they are unable to do at that time.

As a child, if someone didn’t love or respect you, it is because they were incapable, not because you were unworthy or unlovable.

Many people have two lists of what they would like in life… List #1 is the list of things they really want. List #2 is the list of things they feel they deserve. Often, people subconsciously shift their desires to meeting List #2 because subconsciously believe List #1 is unobtainable or that they aren’t worthy. Which list are you living by?

Have you ever given someone a gift, and they tossed it aside if it didn’t mean something? Do you realize that when you have things in your life you treat disrespectfully it is tossing away a gift from God/Source/Universe? Do you know that when someone is giving you a compliment, and you disagree with them, saying ,”oh, no, I’m not that talented’, that it’s actually rejecting a gift someone is trying to give you? You don’t have to agree with what the person is saying; however, they are sharing from their heart, and you can simply say, “Thank You for sharing”, and allowing yourself to receive their thoughts/feelings, even if you don’t agree.

…a little story.

Once, there was a flood, and all the houses were submerged. A man had climbed to the top of his roof, which was barely above water, where he prayed to God to help save him. A while later, someone holding onto a large log floated by and offered to make room for the man to float with him. The man said, “Oh, no, God is going to save me.” An hour later, people in a raft came floating by and asked the man to hop aboard. The man said, “Oh, no thank you, God is going to save me.” The water kept inching its way up, and the man was submerged up to his waist standing on top of his roof. A man in a motorboat came toward him and said, “Jump in before you drown.” The man replied, “No, Thank You, God is going to save me.”

After another hour, the water had risen so high, that the man could no longer stand on his roof. He treaded water for as long as he could, though his arms and legs finally gave out, and he drowned. Upon dying, he was greeted by God. God said to him, “My son, why did you not save yourself?” The man said, “I trusted that You were going to save me.” God said, “I sent three people who offered to help, and you did not take it. What else could I have done?”

Remember that when you ask for something, often God/Source/Universe may present it in a way that’s different than your expectation. Be open and allow yourself to receive blessings. Consciously seek the blessings in your life, and you will receive more.

Asking for something and being ready to receive it are two different things. Are you ready to receive?

8.) The Art of Life

Especially in America, we do everything fast – fast food drive through, wal-mart shopping, instant music downloads, movies streamlined to our computer, etc.. We are misguided when it comes to understanding the art of life. We have forgotten how to savor and appreciate the good. We rarely do one thing at a time, yet emotionally we are emptier than ever. Why? We settle for partial experiences, expecting them to fill us up, rather than setting our sights on something really filling and meaningful. We would rather eat at McDonald’s ten times in a month than save up and go to a beautiful restaurant with good quality food that will nourish our minds and bodies. We would rather watch reality television than perhaps a foreign movie that would challenge us. We would rather watch television than read. We would rather complain about the traffic than spending that time being grateful for our blessings.

Always opt for the deeper experience. Stop settling and begin living the life you really want to experience. Your life is happening now! When you change, the world changes.

Begin asking yourself, “How can I create the life I want?” and refuse to consider anything that is not in alignment with what your heart truly desires. Allow yourself to experience the richness in small moments – watching the sunrise/sunset, a hug from a small child, a phone call from a close friend, slipping into your favorite jeans, etc.. We are moving so fast to get somewhere that we think is going to feel better than now, give yourself permission to feel good now.

Someone shared with me the idea of using the words “manifest” and “allow” versus “earn” and “have”, and this changed my life in a big way. God/Source/Universe has already created everything that was, is, and will ever be. Anything that man manifests or creates is simply a shift of the creative energy that already is, which is to say, it’s simply a matter of allowing different energy to flow into our lives. Allow yourself to be blessed. Allow yourself to feel good. Allow yourself to feel loved.

9.) Take Responsibility

For some, this seems to be a huge challenge. It seems that many people are conditioned into a victim mentality without ever realizing. We are taught that validation comes from the outside… meaning we put more faith on other people’s opinions than in what God/Source/Universe is telling us. We are created in the Divine Image of God/Source/Universe, which means we have an awesome connection to help us when we find ourselves not knowing what to do.

Blaming others disempowers you, making you a victim, not a victor. Successful people take ownership of everything in their lives because they know if you own it, then you can change it. If your whole life is dependent on what others do or don’t do, then you might as well give up now because you will always find a reason not to have what it is you say you want.

Remember – everything in your life is a reflection of you – a thought, a feeling, an idea that you have had. Look how powerful you are to have manifested such amazing things in your life. By being accountable, you begin to recognize your power is directly aligned with God/Source/Universe, and you can begin creating what you do want instead of what you don’t.

Be the person you want to be today. If you take care of yourself, you can take better care of those you love, and you are one step closer to living the dream in your heart.

Remember…

Be gentle with yourself. Accept the good. Allow your heart to live its truest desires.

Thank You!!! Here’s to Your Thrival! (-:

♥ ~ ♥ ~ ♥ ~ ♥ ~♥ ~ ♥ ~♥ ~ ♥ ~♥ ~ ♥ ~♥ ~ ♥

]]>https://susanstackpole.wordpress.com/2009/05/13/thrival-versus-survival/feed/0susan stackpoleWhat You THINK You Want Is a Lie – Learn How To Get What You REALLY Wanthttps://susanstackpole.wordpress.com/2008/12/24/hello-world/
https://susanstackpole.wordpress.com/2008/12/24/hello-world/#commentsWed, 24 Dec 2008 09:39:43 +0000]]>Hi People! Happy 2009! I’ve deemed it “Year To Shine”… so twinkle, twinkle like the big, bright, beautiful star you are!

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Okay – so why is what you THINK you want a lie?

I bet some of you are thinking “Who is she to tell me what I want is a lie? She doesn’t even know me.” Well, read on…

This exercise works best on paper, though you can do it your head as well… Grab a sheet of paper and something fun to write with – it can even be a crayon. This is a dreaming exercise, so be daring !!!

First – Write down (or think of) three things that you REALLY want. If you had these three things, you would be very happy in your life. Write them down, and leave a bit of room in between them. You’ll see why in a moment. Take your time. Make them as bold and grand as possible – as if you can reach out and touch them. Pretend a genie has come to just grant your wishes, and you only get three. DREAM BIG, people. This is YOUR LIFE we are talking about.

Do you have them? Are you excited about these things?

GREAT!

Now …write down all the reasons why having these things will make your life complete. For instance… you might write – if I had a new job, I would be happier at work and more productive, which would boost my confidence and make me a better spouse, friend, etc. Be very descriptive in how your wishes would enrich your life. Write down a detailed description for all three. Keep dreaming big!

Did you do that for all three?

GREAT!

Next …Think about the feelings that having each of those three things you really want is going to give you. For instance, returning to the job idea …having a new job would make me happy, confident, financially secure, safe, etc., etc., etc.. Take your time, and really think about all the feelings each thing would give you.

See that list of feelings you want? Those are REALLY what you want. Think about it for a second. The only reason we usually want someTHING is because of the FEELING it’s going to give us. I dare you to dispute this and welcome any compelling arguments to the contrary.

Okay – now that you are on board with knowing you want THINGS so you can FEEL something, let’s go to the next step.

We want things because we think we need to have permission to feel. I will say that again – we want things because we think they will give us permission to feel whatever it is we think we are lacking. You may be wondering what I mean. For instance – going back to the job. If having a new job would make you feel financially secure, safe, being a good provider, happy, etc., I would imagine you would also feel worthy/deserving as well. So, isn’t is safe to say, if you already felt financially secure, safe, being a good provider, happy, etc. that these feelings would no longer be dependent on getting this new job? What if you allowed yourself to feel those things now? You may be thinking I’m crazy, asking “How in the world do you expect me to feel those things now when I’m struggling?” Well, what if I told you, feelings something is just a matter of giving yourself permission to do so. Yes, it literally is that simple… a few examples…

Let’s say someone new comes into your life, and you really adore this person. As a matter of fact, you loooouuuuuvvveeee this person. I’m talking bouncing off the walls, can’t think straight, thinking them leaving the toothpaste cap off is cute love. One night, you are at dinner, and this person that you looooouuuuvvvvveeee reaches across the table, grabs your hand, and gazes deeply into your eyes, saying, “I love you.” Do you feel differently? Sure you do. Your “lovability” has just been validated. What has changed in your life? Your FEELING about yourself. In actuality, the only thing that really changed is someone said something to you, and you attached meaning to the words they said. I’m sure, if a biker bought you a beer, and said “I love you, man”, you would attach a much different meaning than your sweetie gazing lovingly into your eyes, saying “I love you.”

Another example – find or imagine a black and white picture of a couple dressed in their Sunday best. This photo is at least 80 years old and crinkled. You notice the couple is in their wedding attire. Does this change the feeling you have about the picture? What if I told you the couple were your great, great grandparents? How do your feelings about the photo change? See – suddenly knowing they might be your relatives shifts your perception and ultimately the way you feel.

Pretty cool, huh?

How about this …by giving yourself permission to feel whatever it is you want these things to help you feel, you will attract them to you much quicker. (-: Yes, it’s true – if you don’t believe it, do it and see what happens; however, you must FEEL as if you already have it – no doubting, otherwise it won’t work. Allow yourself to feel powerful and successful and loved and worthy and fabulous NO MATTER what is going on around you, and watch how the world begins to shift.

Now that you have this new found knowledge, what are you going to do with it? Hopefully, your mind is taking all this in, and you are already feeling better – sitting a little straighter in your chair, breathing deeper, and feeling wonderful.

To recap…

What we want is a lie because we don’t want THINGS, we want the FEELINGS we THINK those things are going to give us.

Give yourself PERMISSION to FEEL what you want NOW, and the things you desire are destined to show up in your life.

REMEMBER – the reason you are seeking something is this – that which you are seeking is also seeking you. It’s already on it’s way – so sit back, relax, and enjoy!