HOW DOES THIS VIDEO ONLY HAVE 150 VIEWS?! Maybe it’s going over peoples’ heads. You guys get it, right? It’s a tortoise having sex with a watering can. THAT’S THE JOKE.

(*stares at video again*) (*looks at watch*) How long is this video? Jeez, turtle, 30 seconds? You’re making the rest of us look bad. Whatever. I could probably last 30 or 40 seconds too if I thought I was going to live to 200. Me, I got stuff to do. TRUE STORY: My girlfriend watched this over my shoulder, sighed, and said “Sometimes I feel like the watering can.”