Monday, April 20, 2009

The Lord Works in Mysterious Ways

Do you ever have those days when you know, without a doubt, that the Hand of God has been on you?

Yesterday was one of those days. I started the day happy as a dung beetle in a pile of horse shit. It was a sunny day in Manhattan. I was off to the gym where I had a great cardio work out. I came home, made a delicious lunch, finished a couple of things I needed to get done online...was preparing for a well deserved nap...and then my partner's ex and his boyfriend came home. I let them know that I would be laying down, and my "roommate" starting cursing at me about me taking a nap and how he wanted to play his music. I again stated, respectfully, that I would be taking a nap and they were welcome to play music, but if they would keep it down, I would greatly appreciate it. I then closed the door and prepared to take a nap.

Then World War III broke out.

I won't go into details, but suffice it to say that these two extremely wounded human beings nearing 50...knowing that my boyfriend was out of town...ambushed me and basically took turns screaming at me and hurling vileness at me with such a deep hatred...that it was obvious...even during it all...that what they were projecting at me was what they were really feeling towards each other and about other circumstances in their lives.

I used every single training experience I had ever been given to de-escalate the situation. I never raised my voice...I spoke calmly...I listened to what they had to say even when they were screaming, even when I was called out of my name. Finally, they left. That is when I broke down.

Knowing that what had gone down was not about me didn't matter. For real...my boyfriend's ex's current boyfriend and I have met two times...and we had never exchanged harsh words. Nor had I ever spoken unkindly about him in any way.

I have never felt so unsafe in my home as an adult.

The fact that I stayed completely calm, acted with absolute integirty, did not demean or debase the people that were attacking me, and showed them respect even as I was being disrespected was a gift from God (and a credit to those fantastic people in my life that have taught me what it means to be in conflict and how to be in conflict without losing myself...I am not always good at it...but yesterday I was flawless...and that fact alone is proof that God was with me).

The rest of the day also was God touched.

I went to softball practice, and I hung out with my new team for the first time. I adore them. I think I remember most of their names, but I sure as hell know that I couldn't attach their names to them all. We had a great practice...my pitching was decent (it can always use improvement)...and then I batted. Now, I have never had a problem hitting the ball. But I have also never been a Herculean hitter. Yesterday, almost every ball I hit was, at the very least, deep in the outfield...a couple of times they would have been straight up home runs. I was in awe of myself. Either the bat was magical or I had an angel swinging along with me. I refuse to take credit for it until I actually do it in a game.

My coach is hilarious. The guys were super welcoming and sweet (and crass and hilarious....sweet God I felt at home). We went to the ultra-bear bar for super cheap drinks. I met Danny O'Donnell...Rosie O'Donnell's brother who is also a NY State Assemblyman...he is a very nice man and very...friendly. He also took me to task for talking smack about Jennifer Holiday's duet with Jennifer Hudson...sorry but the woman was terrible.

I then hightailed it to a borough to a secret location to hang out with some friends plotting an electoral revolution...more to come on that in the future.

It is rare that you have the opportunity to see, in different ways, the good Lord working in such diverse ways...but from the support of my partner, to my conduct during the conflict, to new friends and a great team, to a great evening with my co-conspirators, it was obvious that even though some of the day was extremely difficult and called up memories from childhood that I thought were laid to rest...that I was not doing any of it alone...and that God himself and an assortment of characters that sometimes took the shape of cute Greek first ladies and old friends in new places were right there with me.

My Feet Only Walk Forward

A Bit Of Me in Ones and Zeroes

Named February 2011's Bad-Ass Feminist of the Month by NotYourAverageFeminist.com, BLC is also a poet, playwright, journalist,amateur chef and life commentator doing his bit to put his foot in the asses of the regressive masses, while putting filling and nutritious food on plates of folks that ain't got much and deserve better. And, thank you to MyLatinVoice.Com which named me the #2 Queer Latin@ Blogger on the web for my blog My Feet Only Walk Forward: www.myfeetonlywalkforward.blogspot.com

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All written material found on this blog whether blog entries, poetry, or insane rantings are wholly owned and copyrighted by William Brandon Lacy unless otherwise acknowledged in the body of the text. Please feel free to repost my work as long as you are willing to credit the author (unless of course you are a for profit entity...then you best to be PAYING the author before you use my writing...don't make me get you).

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