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OvercomeBullying.org Newsletter #010

Why Me?

Hi,

One question that almost always comes up once bullying starts is "Why Me?". Why do bullies go after one person instead of another? It is as if we are asking "What is it about me that I need to change so I won't be bullied?". That is where self-doubt starts and some begin to wonder what they have done to deserve being bullied. This is exacerbated when those in authority, management, HR, unions, etc. do nothing to stop the bullying and even support the bully while threatening the target. It can cause you to doubt yourself and your whole perception of the world. That's why I really appreciated a contribution from one of our readers who sent in a list of reasons for why targets are selected by bullies. If you are going through this now it's important to remember, it's not your fault, you are not alone and you are not crazy. Although trying to make sense of the insanity of bullying and the reaction of those in authority may drive you around the bend.

All the Best,

Anton

Anton HoutFounder, OvercomeBullying.org

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The new edition of "What Every Target of Workplace Bullying Needs to Know" is now available and is proving to be very popular. This version features new chapters and a special section by counselor Glynis Sherwood. Many targets are shocked and horrified by how they are treated by those in authority who could make a difference.

Don't Learn the Hard Way!

Workplace Bullying has been referred to as "the slow poison" and with good reason. It can sneak up on you and before you know it your career, your health, your marriage and even your life can be in jeopardy. Don't wait until workplace bullying and harassment takes its toll on you and your family.

Send Me Your Testimonial! If you have read the book already please send me your thoughts. Did you find the information useful? How did it help you? What would you like to see included in future versions? You can reply to this newsletter or use our Contact Us form on the website. Thank you.

Bill 168 was passed in December of 2009 and will take effect in June of 2010. Subsection 1 (1) of the Occupational Health and Safety Act is amended by adding the following definitions: "workplace harassment" means engaging in a course of vexatious comment or conduct against a worker in a workplace that is known or ought reasonably to be known to be unwelcome. This expands on the narrow definition of "harassment" as it only applied to protected groups previously.

While this development is to be applauded and is seen as a move in the right direction it is important to keep in mind that legislation is not a solution to workplace bullying. Indeed such laws could even be used as weapons against targets by bullies.

In many cases of workplace bullying, including my own while employed at the Calgary Herald, bullies eventually claim that complaints about being bullied constitute harassment of the bullies themselves. Go figure. But this is not a rare response by bullies. When confronted with bullying many will feign shock at being accused of bullying and will play the victim. These laws tempt these bullies to use them against targets who dare to speak out.

While legislation provides some tools and hope for targets the real cure for workplace bullying is awareness on the part of workers and management about the destructiveness of bullying on the individual and the organization. As long as workers look the other way and there is no leadership from managers bullying will continue -- business as usual -- except now targets will also face legal action for daring to "harass" bullies by complaining about their abusive behavior.

So we will have to remain cautiously optimistic. The good news is that awareness about the seriousness of workplace bullying and mobbing continues to grow.

Meditation is a way in which you can get acquainted with virtue in your mind so that you can have a calmer and more peaceful feeling. Having a peaceful mind is beneficial in helping you become free of your worries.

This is not to say that you won’t worry about things, but you develop a more effective way of dealing with stressful situations in your daily life. You will be able to understand them in a different light and be able to see them for what they really are. When your mind is not at peace, it is hard to be happy even under pleasant circumstances.In some forms of meditation, you can analyze the thought processes that pass through your mind. When you concentrate deeply on the thoughts and situations of your life, you can reach the point at which you find your own answers to your problems.

Today many types of meditation are recommended by health care professionals as a way of cleansing the mind and emotions of negative thoughts. By meditating, you can benefit from improved concentration and memory. It also helps to help you develop a greater understanding of stressful situations in your daily life so that you can have a greater understanding of the real cause of the problem. This helps you approach your problems with less stress because you do not impulsively become angry. This, in turn, helps you get along with others much better.

Your body also benefits from meditation. When your mind is clear, you are better able to bring healing to the parts of your body that are ill. Meditating helps to improve the overall functioning of your immune system so that your body can fight off disease. As your body becomes more relaxed, your blood pressure lowers and your heart can pump the blood to the organs of the body.

The aim of meditation is to give you a sense of inner peace that you will use throughout your day in all your dealings. This is why it is recommended that you meditate in the morning as soon as you awake. The positive feelings that you bring into your mind and body will then help you cope with your day.