I made up my own word.

Recently, I decided I was stuck. Ever get that way? Where you know you need to move right or left but instead you choose to do nothing? So, a friend gave me the name of “somebody” and suggested I talk with her (you gotta pay “her” of course!). So, I decided to check it out to see if she had any thoughts on my stuckness (Ok, it’s not a word but I like it!).

The first time was like a blind date – I needed to fill her in on all my “facts” – the people in my life, my job, my childhood, etc. You know the drill!

The second time she asked me where I thought I was stuck. When I told her she gave me some homework: “Visualize where you want to be when you get unstuck. What will it feel like?”

I’ve now given it a week’s thought and here’s what I came up with:

When you are unstuck (whether it be a relationship, job, other situation) you feel respected. You see the sun even when it’s cloudy outside. You know that your flaws don’t seem to be called out as much. Do you know what I mean? Life just seems better.

I did feel relieved (slightly!) when she told me that many smart and successful people stay in toxic jobs for years, miserable relationships for decades and dead-end situations for lifetimes. Ok, so at least I’m stupid in the company of others!

Most of us get stuck in the what ifs, in the fears and our devotion to the idea that if we do nothing – someone (or something) else will change. Yet, by living like that, we lose sight of the here and now because we are waiting for guarantees that never materialize.

Here it is in a nutshell: There’s only thing we can be guaranteed — if we take a step, any step — it will turn out to be the right step. It always is. Doing nothing simply keeps us in the same position tomorrow as we were yesterday and today.

Things are only different when we make them different. Let’s stop worrying about the what ifs and instead start thinking why not! Why not take that new job? Why not move and get a start fresh? Why not end this bad relationship once and for all? Why not stand up for yourself in an entirely different way?

Change is scary, freeing, exciting and powerful. Whatever you change, you’re likely to be surprised by the results. Hey, the beauty about change? You can always change things again!