SCP-#### is currently contained via a a 1.5 meter thick steel wall, wrapping 1.6 square kilometers around the anomaly site.

You do realize how much steel that would involve, right? Also, you don't specify how high the wall is supposed to be. Anything more than 1/2 meter and it's going to likely take more steel than is available on the planet. I have not done the math, but I know it's a LOT of steel.

The perimeter wall alone is a huge use of resources. As mentioned above, it would use absurd amounts of steel. As well, you mentioned "a sentry turret every 6 meters". If the wall is 6km long, that's hundreds of likely expensive turrets. As well, it seems like a generic "enemy spawner", something you might find in a video game. As well, throw out the "hunter from Halo" reference. It seriously degrades the article's credibility. However, I did find it interesting, and I see a lot of potential in it. One suggestion: try having all of the spawned entities have some sort of trait in common, maybe working in a coherent plot. Keep trying, I know you'll get it!

Usually first SCPs are short (I know mine are [at least my drafts]), but this one, I can sense promise in it. You have everything you need right in front of you to make a great SCP, but it can just as easily be steered in the other direction with a botched plot/execution. My advice? Be patient. You won't make a good SCP if you rack your brain for some sort of idea, then pick the best fitting one. Instead, just give it some time, and eventually an idea will pop into your head that fits perfectly.

You have everything you need right in front of you to make a great SCP, but it can just as easily be steered in the other direction with a botched plot/execution.

This advice is vague and unhelpful. What kind of plot is necessary to make this work? "Execution" is basically how the article is written—unless the author has a blank page, one can immediately discern how the execution of the current material is.

Just read your edit- it's getting better, though it needs to be cleaned up. Also, something like that, it might need to be Keter. There was this one, I can't recall the number, where there is this portal to an alternate universe, the Foundation accidentally unleashes a sterility plague on them, and they keep sending WMDs through now. Anyways, that one's similar to yours, and it is a Keter. Just keep that in mind regarding object classes. Regardless, I like those recovered notes. They are interesting, but remain mysterious enough to leave me wondering. Good job on that.

There's a problem here larger than any kind of writing itself, and that's the fact that you take an idea that could potentially be interesting (portal in some area of the forest, people/animals/machines coming out of it) and turning it into a typical, fairly boring road of something that's hostile to us. The rare bits you throw in there to try and lead us to what these things are doing don't provide any sort of answer whatsoever (the messages you include sound "mysterious" and "spooky" without actually being spooky and sound like a typical mysterious culture kind of thing).

The interview log doesn't add much either. We get a perspective from a member about them attacking but… nothing much really. In fact, you cut off the interview before even describing anything interesting going on, and it feels like a cop-out.

The way these people act isn't exciting as well. They're just hostile and try to kill us for some unknown reason, and during the incident report they manage to destroy 982 security personnel, 241 vehicles, and 124 MTF personnel (which, holy shit, might be overdoing it?) because… of a "BK-Invasion attempt" (which is incredibly vague and you never elaborate or expand upon this in any useful way). The whole execution of this idea then just seems to be vague and not elaborate on anything. Essentially, there's a whole lot of writing and reading to do for very little payoff, which bores the audience quickly and makes people not want to read your thing before they even get halfway through. (As a side-note, this is definitely Euclid from the get-go, maybe even Keter. No way we can predict what this thing could do if we leave it alone.)

Take a step back, and think about this from the larger perspective. What can make this interesting? What narrative can you tell to make it not boring to read? What kind of emotions can you instill on the reader? This is a very dead piece as far as emotions are concerned, because I feel nothing reading this. Even if an SCP lacks narrative, if I can't feel anything from it, it's a failure. Try rewriting with this in mind. Even if I went through and pointed out tone or grammar or format fixes, it wouldn't matter if the idea + execution doesn't work.

It would sound better to put terminated here instead of "killed", and observed from instead of "on"

These additional patrols will be stood down only at the order of Site-Command

I guess relived would work better here.. but I know there's a better word for it.

Note: All personnel with potential destruction ideas are to be reminded of Incident-####-1.

Decommission ideas??

My Overall Thoughts

Like the others were saying I also think the space and protection material needs to be remeasured. Since they suspect that some cloaking craft may or may have not made it through did they attempt to have some type of ceiling cover for this space? Or do they have some type of detection for invisible craft?

It states that, "in which SCP-#### detects and differentiates human life from other life entering the containment zone, is as of yet unknown. " are you referring to when there are random instances in which the scouting party has entered and exited, or when a human somehow makes it into the containment zone which activates the portal?? Was there another entity that has went by the portal? Did they test this with other beings??. Did they use any D-class to test out this instance, then other animals opposed to just deeming it too dangerous to try?? It's a good idea but not interesting if you don't play with it a little. Make some tests, infer some logs in which they tried this.

It's a good idea as whole but needs to be re imagined in a lot places. It seems like you're just "talking" about it. There's one instance of reaction, no testing, actual testing. It just states there's testing and a incident where a jeep was torn. That they enter a rage state with high pain tolerance, that's it. What's the point of checking a body after it has been detonated? They are also burnt you know? How would you do a reasonable scan of the body from that? Also the fact about SCP-####-2 being basically unaffected by tranquilizers. Do they also enter a catatonic state? How do you go about preventing casualties from that??

This idea needs to be played with more, it's left too open ended in a lot of areas.

Was there another entity that has went by the portal? Did they test this with other beings??. Did they use any D-class to test out this instance, then other animals opposed to just deeming it too dangerous to try?? It's a good idea but not interesting if you don't play with it a little. Make some tests, infer some logs in which they tried this.

It's a good idea as whole but needs to be re imagined in a lot places. It seems like you're just "talking" about it. There's one instance of reaction, no testing, actual testing.

Was there another entity that has went by the portal? Did they test this with other beings??. Did they use any D-class to test out this instance, then other animals opposed to just deeming it too dangerous to try??

I feel like if the author added this many points to the SCP document, then the skip would begin to drag on.

Most likely, a lot of the answers to these questions are 'no'. Personally, I'm unsure if I could up-vote an article that listed a ton of tests that weren't performed.

Make some tests, infer some logs in which they tried this.

If all these were performed, once again, I think the skip might get a bit boring due to over-testing.

Additionally, we have many SCP articles where D-Class are thrown into some dangerous portal to another realm and are needlessly lost.

I feel like the author would need to approach this with a different form of execution.

Also on the off-chance the author misses "infer" they may write full testing logs, which may just needlessly lengthen the SCP even further.

Also note it's really hard to make interesting testing logs.

It's a good idea as whole but needs to be re imagined in a lot places. It seems like you're just "talking" about it.

Are you referring to the tone and how it could be improved clinically, or is this a lead-in to your next sentence? It's unclear.

If your referring to clinicality ([sic] I made up a word today ~ Def: How clinical the tone is.) then please be specific about what they should be changing.

If this is a lead in to your next sentence:

There's one instance of reaction, no testing, actual testing.

Many well written, high-voted skips have nil redactions.

Other well written skips additionally have no testing logs (the way this is written infers you want testing logs).

Both of these aspects are difficult to execute, and neither of them are an obligation for good writing.

The two instances of redaction I see, look poorly done. To ask the author to write more could be somewhat misleading. Although reviewing blackbox-redactions, they look fine, however they are in no way necessary when it comes to improving the document.

Sorry Bl4ckJ4ck if this came out harsh, but I'm just making note of a few of the potentially misleading aspects of your critique so that next time you can make an attempt to word your intentions better.

Additionally, this is for Hi_Im_Connor to review so that the user is aware of the minefields that he/she has to go through when/if they apply the recommendations you've entailed.

I think you are he, cause the name in Conner, but I have no way of knowing.

Edit:

I guess relived would work better here.

*relieved
That's probably what you meant. If your going to give a specific recommendation then make sure it doesn't create any new issues.

I've found that tabview is the best solution for organizing this post in a compact form.

I don't mind being actually critiqued myself since I'm very new to this thing; though majority of the time I read through this I felt more could be built on.

There is no actual way to experiment on instances of SCP-####-1 and 2. Simply detonating the captive entities and testing their remains… a lot can be lost in that, and shouldn't be held as the basis for testing.

If you tested on the entities terminated through direct confrontation, it's good.

Also the way on containment is sloppy. Even if there was enough steel to barricade this area like Connor stated they have cloaking ships and whether or not they used this way as a means to exit the portal is unknown defeats the purpose of the wall entirely if they stick to just that. If he imagines a way that can detect cloaked hovercraft than can be built with a long enough range away from the portal without activating it would be good.

I also don't believe I put any redacted suggestions.. just underlined some words than can be changed.