Friday, December 12, 2008

Mamarazzi Friday: Pete and Ashlee, the clue phone is ringing, and it's for you

So pretty much the first thing I did this morning (after waking up, opening a birthday present, and drinking a little coffee) was refuse to trek up to my daughter's school with her iPod, which she forgot to bring to school today, even though she has a field trip and might get bored on the bus ride.

I know. I'm such an unnatural mother. But I spared her my tales of my poor deprived iPod-less childhood where we actually had spend our time on long bus rides talking to other kids and driving the bus driver crazy by singing "100 bottles of beer on the wall."

And why did I refuse to oblige her? Other than my usual laziness and curmudgeonliness, I mean?

Because I was writing this week's Mamarazzi post, in which I make fun of Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson-Wentz for trying to sell pictures of their (I have no doubt) ugly baby son, Bronx Mowgli Wentz.

Wait a minute. I just realized Bronx's initials are BMW. For that alone, Pete and Ashlee deserve to be pilloried.

But honestly, now. Should I have been more tolerant? More generous? Nicer?

First and most important - Happy Birthday To You! (best not try to imagine me singing it). And, FWIW, I think you did the right thing, mom-wise.

Now, the name thing. You'd think by now that most parents would test any baby names under consideration for 1) all possible shortenings and nicknames with the last name for potential disasters 2) check all name reversals (see comment by cary perk, but for the sake of your monitor, don't be drinking antying when you do). There's another huge blooper waiting to happen on CNN re weather person Jackie Jeras. One fellow anchor got as far as calling her "Jeri..." and then mercifully caught himself.

Well as long as they don't start calling it *Beemer*.... ugh. Poor kid is going to spend his life trying to crawl out of the hole he was born into as it is. What's he going to feel like when he's old enough to find out mommy and daddy tried desperately to make money off his baby pictures... and no one wanted them???

When we were working baby names, we thought ahead to the future: How would that name sound as the child was walking across the stage to get her high school diploma? Or how would it read on her college diploma? How would it sound when she was being sworn in as a Supreme Court Justice or taking the Hippocratic Oath after med school?