9 Things We've All Done

Video games are such a unifying medium. Gamers by and large enjoy a lot of the same interests , perhaps because we've been through a lot of the same stuff. Here are just a few things we're all guilty of.

Refused To Delete A Save: The PlayStation era and all my memory cards come to mind. It's not so bad now, what with our huge hard drives and cloud storage, but there was a time when game save space was very limited. You had to make some tough choices. Even so, there would always be that one save file that you just couldn't bring yourself to get rid of, even though you didn't even have the game and were probably never going to play it again anyway. Do you really need that Driver 2 saved game that's only 16% complete? Couldn't those two blocks have been put to better use? Of course, this has a corollary: the second you delete said file, somehow the game magically shows up at your house, and you have to start from scratch.

Gave Up On A Game: I've done it. You've done it. We've all done it. And it is perfectly okay. Sometimes, despite countless hours and energy poured into a game, you just can't finish it. Maybe you get stuck on a puzzle and are too stubborn to look up a guide. Or perhaps a power surge knocks out the last four hours of play time, and you just can't force yourself to trudge through that same content again. Whatever the reason, sometimes you Just... Can't... Do it. And let me reiterate that that is perfectly okay. There are a ton of great games out there, and nobody expects you to beat them all. Quitter. Of course, this also comes with a corollary...

Completed A Terrible Game: ...everyone has finished a game they really didn't care to. Despite knowing it was awful thirty minutes into it, you mindlessly plunge through it like a zombie in search of its next meal (I'm looking at you Dead Island.). Usually you do it just to see how the story pans out, but in most cases the story wasn't even that good in the first place! Sometimes it's just simple pride though, and, even though you would rather spend time watching grass grow than play another minute of that game, you plow on like a hero. For that, I salute you. Now seriously, read a book or something.

Scored A Tetris: And oh how satisfying it was the first time you did it. Even non-gamers have played Tetris at least once in their lives, and the elegant simplicity of the game allows everyone to experience the joy of landing that long piece snugly into its home, and knocking out a full four rows of clutter. There is something primal in the absurd amount of happiness I felt the first time I pulled it off, and I'm willing to bet that more than a few of you feel the same way. For those of you reading this who haven't scored a Tetris, get a life loser.

Blamed The Controller: Look, I'm not saying your button didn't stick, and I suppose it's possible the cord came out of the system for a few seconds, but for one reason or another you have blamed a video game shortcoming on the piece of hardware in your hands. And probably at least one of them was a blatant lie. Hey, sometimes loss is hard to admit, and since the controller is really just an agent of your will being manipulated by..okay, you know what, I'm done trying to rationalize this away for you. There's NO WAY that controller "temporarily" came unplugged, you just got sacked. Note: This whole paragraph is void if using Mad Catz brand peripherals.

Screen Watched: We love to call people and berate them when we catch them obviously watching your screen (ignoring the fact that you caught them by watching their screen), but the truth is it happens. Nobody likes that guy who openly stares at your part of the screen while sitting isle in his own, but a glance or two away from the top left corner is to be expected. It's not like there's a ref. Serial screen-watchers be warned; people will eventually take matters into their own hands if you leave your habit unchecked. Repercussions can include nobody playing with you every again, repeated punches to the shoulder and being forced to turn around while I'm picking my damn plays.

Spoken To The TV: It could be everything from a standard "Come on!" to a full-blown parade of curse words, but you have at one point talked to nothing but your television. Everything from getting spawn-killed to failing the same jump thrice in a row can trigger a hostile verbal barrage towards your tube, but remember that what's been said can't be unsaid. Televisions have feelings too, you know. Nah, I'm just kidding, yell away at them. That's what they're there for. If said television responds, however, take a deep breath, put it on mute and continue playing.

Pulled An All-Nighter: Sometimes a regular gaming session isn't enough. I haven't pulled too many straight all-nighters lately in my old age, but back in the day I saw the sun coming up over my television a few times. One that comes to mind is my all-night domination of Breath of Fire 2 when I was but a wee lad. More recently, I chugged through the first BioShock when it was released over about an 8 hour session, and it was quite refreshing. Every gamer has, or needs to, experience the thrill of doing nothing while laying in bed at night.

Shot The Dog: Or tried to, because, as we all know, you can't. Nothing is going to stop him from uttering his demon laugh at your incompetence. Few video game characters have provoked so much rage, yet he has managed to escape any form of righteous retribution. Nintendo, isn't it about time you made a new Duck Hunt with some new functionality, or may I even suggest a Dog Hunt? It's time I got some payback for all these years of regressed danger.