Quinoa, a Blueprint-cleanse-in-a-sippy-cup, already-exfoliating, so-over-Bushwick toddler, is basically a third Gwyneth Paltrow child who only lives in the Internet. She does not exist anywhere but Pinterest (via Buzzfeed) and in the mind of one Tiffany Beveridge, who got the idea from her random musings about wanting to have a little girl solely in order to dress her like a small, poised, neutral-faced woman.

Fortunately, she had a better idea, which was snag shots of angelic, hip-looking teeny-tiny girls and write amazing captions. We are all better for it. Also, someone has TOTALLY named their kid Quinoa already or I will actually eat my cat.