Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

Losing the "Love of your Life"

When you feel that you are losing the "love of your life", what truly are you afraid of?

Being alone?
Being financially inadequate?
Other people judging you that you are a loser?

IMO, if you love someone, set him free. Why would you want to stay in a relationship where the other one is not happy? If you force yourself, are you not just being selfish to fulfill your needs (not any better than your cheating partner)? I want my partner to be as happy as I am. The relationship would mean nothing to me if one of us is unhappy because we would only be together for other reasons than love.

Not being alone as much as not being with her to continue our dreams. Let her watch the grandkids when it happens, travel, enjoy each others company. I am afraid of not ever finding that connection again. I am afraid that I might not get to be that everyday part of my kids life again. It sucks, 4 weekend days and 4-6 evenings, 8 days of being with them versus 30, just sucks. I am afaid that I went from retiring in my late 50's to my 70's. I am afraid I won't financially support my wife and kids enough so they don't have to go with out. Most of all I am afraid she doesn't love me any more, afraid to tell me and I am not letting her go.

Yeah and stuff you miss, smell, smile, laughs, humor, compassion, cuddling, and even her snoring. (Boy wouldn't that get me in more hot water if she knew I said!!)

I fear never being able to love like that again! I loved him with all that I have all that I am and with all that i could. And I fear never being able to give that kind of love to someone else again! I fear not being able to look some one in the ees and tell them I love you more then i could ever love anyone and mean it! I mean you can love but to actually be in love is a different story

Yes i am also afraid of never loving anyone as much as i loved him. Totally good and bad even when he has hurt me to the core and abandoned me i don't have that much hate for him. it hurts that he thinks our relationship was not good enough because i was happy. I have actually found myself praying that by some miracle he would realize that his unhappiness (boredom he called it) was within himself and ask to try to work on our marriage. But then i realize that we all probably go thru that stage. The last bit of barganing and denial. It just hurts to not have him in my life. To not have him to talk to and make plans with. To not have his corny jokes. To know that maybe he is all these things to her. Afraid that maybe he has found someone that he thinks loves him better than i did..makes him happier. Afraid also that i just don't have it in me to love that much again. when you move on does it feel like your settling for another life that you did not choose? Does it feel like secondary happiness. Will i ever feel that content again? To actually be in love...that's what he didn't feel for me anymore and he could never tell me why really. I could not tell he was unhappy. Still called each other our little names and made plans about trips we would take and things we would do in the future and the whole time he was cultivating a new romance? Has he found the love of his life? If so that would be worse than losing mine.

I feel like I lost a part of me, like my leg was cut off and thrown away. I miss the image of what I expected life to be. I miss the idea of the kids growing up in a stable 2 parent home. I miss the thought of holidays and vacations as a family. I miss the idea of early retirement (From 55 to now about 64) I miss the friendship, the laughter but mostly I miss the feeling of being in love and being loved back.

I don't buy that, sorry... most people just use that as an excuse. My husband was very happy with his family until he got twisted up in an affair. To make light of it, people always use that &quot;why would you be with someone who didn't want to be with you...?!&quot; I think that is the anything goes mentality and something most people use as an excuse to do whatever they want and not commit to their families or allow themselves to abandon their families, offering themselves mental comfort and what they deem is a good reason. I think I will trust in God on this one and not a flip flop cheating spouse who makes excuses...

I agree with Michelle. Our lives, our children's lives are worth fighting for. Love can be rekindled. It takes time and patience, and God. God is the Author of Peace, the Great Physician, He can fix ANYTHING that is given to Him.

I really don't know a lot about God. I have been soul searching for the longest time and have not found the church where I feel I belong. However, I do know that God gives us unconditional love and the power to accept it or not. He gave us free will.

Maybe if you truly love someone, the true test of showing this love is to be a true martyr...depriving yourself of any mundane and selfish reasons and putting that unhappy person ahead of you.

You sound like you're caught between the feelings that he has for you, and the feelings that you no longer have for him. I have made mistakes here by judging others, but I will not do that anymore. We all have to judge our own actions and be honest with ourselves, if not anyone else.

You don't need justification from anyone if you know that being out of that relationship was the best thing for you and your children. You sound just like me. I go from confident as hell, to self doubt like crazy. The only thing I can tell you, is this is not the time to look for answers. You're just going to have to let it flow and let the answers come to you. My biggest problem was looking for a quick fix, and all it ever brought was a bigger screw up.

Try to work through your problems, but realize you will encounter more along the way.

This is not easy for anyone. In my own opinion, you're thinking about others more than you are thinking about yourself, and that is not a bad thing. But you can make it bad for yourself if you don't ever include yourself.

YOU WILL NEVER FIND PEACE BY QUESTIONING OR FIGHTING YOURSELF. YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE RIGHT OR KNOW THAT YOU ARE WRONG BEFORE YOU CAN TAKE THE NEXT STEP. I'M NOT SAYING YOU ARE EITHER OR, BUT THAT IS SOMETHING YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO DECIDE FOR YOURSELF.

HONESTLY, NO ONE HERE EVEN KNOWS EACH OTHER. IT FEELS GOOD AND IT HELPS TO SHARE OUR PAIN, BUT WHEN WE WALK AWAY FROM THAT KEYBOARD, THERE'S ONLY ONE PERSON LEFT. AND THAT PERSON IS THERE 24/7.

ARE YOU LOSING THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE, OR ARE YOU LOSING YOUR OWN LIFE?

I miss traveling with my husband. Has anyone found a specific site regarding cruising for widow/widowers or any sightseeing trips. Not interested in being with couples and kids,,,I realize a cruise ship will have a portion size of families and couples, but perhaps they also put together a part of the cruise ship for groups of widows/widowers????

A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...

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