(Newser)
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Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg today marks the end of sheloshim—a 30-day period of religious mourning—for her "beloved husband" with an honest and moving post on Facebook. In its nearly 1,750 words, she touches on many aspects of the grief she has felt since Dave Goldberg died last month, along with the revelations it has brought. She writes, for instance, "I have gained a more profound understanding of what it is to be a mother, both through the depth of the agony I feel when my children scream and cry and from the connection my mother has to my pain. She has tried to fill the empty space in my bed, holding me each night until I cry myself to sleep." But while that might be specific to mothers, another passage is more universal: the awkwardness of what to say to someone who is grieving or hurting. She writes:

"I have learned that I never really knew what to say to others in need. I think I got this all wrong before; I tried to assure people that it would be okay, thinking that hope was the most comforting thing I could offer. ... Real empathy is sometimes not insisting that it will be okay but acknowledging that it is not. When people say to me, 'You and your children will find happiness again,' my heart tells me, Yes, I believe that, but I know I will never feel pure joy again. Those who have said, 'You will find a new normal, but it will never be as good' comfort me more because they know and speak the truth. Even a simple 'How are you?'—almost always asked with the best of intentions—is better replaced with 'How are you today?' When I am asked 'How are you?” I stop myself from shouting, My husband died a month ago, how do you think I am? When I hear 'How are you today?' I realize the person knows that the best I can do right now is to get through each day."

What a passive-aggressive stunt! Shes basically telling all her well-meaning well-wishers over the past month how theyre doing it wrong. If i were one, id wish i never said anything to her at all if i knew she was just judging how well i expressed caring. Yeah, that was too soon. Other people cared for her husband as well. Did she comfort them properly? She fails to mention that. I smell another book coming, betcha 5 bux. Yes, because regular people need to hear how the uber rich survive tragedy while their nannies care for the kids as they cry to sleep and limitless funds assure no strain while the rest of us without benefits have to go to work anyway and struggle to pay bills when half the income is lost. We cant simply hire someone to handle arramgements for us and may have to choose cremation without ceremony because else is too expensive and kids need food and pge to do homework. Its sad but Im just tired of these privileged angelina jolies telling us how they "survive" with their limitless resources. AJ discussed her very expensive gene testing normal women cant afford; Christina applegate went on tv to declare how perfect her boobs were after double mastectomy while poor women have to look at their mangled breasts in the mirror every day. Thanks, ya rich jerks for showing us how, that even in your grieving and/or trauma, youre better than the rest of us.

George939

Jun 4, 2015 1:54 AM CDT

I like Biden's story better.

$133083270

Jun 3, 2015 9:03 PM CDT

Some rich guy died, woopi, thousands of poor people die every single day.