October 14, 2008

Talk to your Parents

1. Prefacing every sentence with "Lemme give you a little straight talk."
2. Arguing that it's crucially important for a president to be erratic and unstable.
3. Referring to the past 8 years of American history as "The Golden Age."
4. Saying things like, "Sarah Palin is a reasonable choice as VP."
5. Having trouble making eye contact.
6. Wandering and pacing aimlessly.
7. Disparaging Spain for no apparent reason.
8. Delusionally believing all people they meet are "[their] friends"—even though most people are kinda creeped out by them.
9. Being unable to accurately count the number of homes they own, cars they drive, or years the United States should remain in Iraq.
10. Putting a McCain-Palin yard sign in the front lawn.