tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134559196024739700.post6650093663329356397..comments2018-12-17T22:36:19.989-08:00Comments on Fern and Feather: Chapter one - "why simplify?"Fern and Featherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06265636404181782735noreply@blogger.comBlogger37125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134559196024739700.post-22530893650619719802013-03-05T08:55:11.474-08:002013-03-05T08:55:11.474-08:00I stumbled upon this post and am intrigued, but do...I stumbled upon this post and am intrigued, but don&#39;t know name of book. Help and forgive my cluelessness. -mom of toddler tripletsCatherinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14101416735168687105noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134559196024739700.post-31733507232514678052012-05-09T15:59:29.003-07:002012-05-09T15:59:29.003-07:00My son is making treasures out of our trash and ju...My son is making treasures out of our trash and junk. He&#39;s really into tape right now and has taped bottle caps and boxes and anything together to make things like movie projectors and airplanes. It&#39;s so fun to watch.Jennifer Woodshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14026687550815976876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134559196024739700.post-32281817614607038842012-05-09T15:49:08.973-07:002012-05-09T15:49:08.973-07:00I want second the husband on board part. I would ...I want second the husband on board part. I would like my husband to read it (you&#39;re awesome Ross), but really mine&#39;s just asked for my synopsis and he&#39;s jumped on board with both feet with what we&#39;ve decided to incorporate into our little family.Jennifer Woodshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14026687550815976876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134559196024739700.post-76937313867270878342012-05-08T15:12:53.355-07:002012-05-08T15:12:53.355-07:00I think it&#39;s such a great idea to discuss the ...I think it&#39;s such a great idea to discuss the book in chapters with a cohost. <br />I really enjoyed the first chapter of the book because, like Melissa, I am a purger. The running joke in our family is if something is missing (keys, camera, remote..), my husband will jokingly say that I probably threw it in the trash.<br />Since children have come into our lives, the purging has become absolutely necessary. In our family, we have a set of grandparents that buy way too many gifts (for any and every occasion). Up until now, I really didn&#39;t have the heart to ask them to stop. However, it&#39;s reaching a point where the toys are getting way out of control. In fact, I think I&#39;m going to go purge some stuff right now.<br />Thank you, Alexis and all the co-hosts, for getting this conversation started. It&#39;s going to be a fun week.<br />PS~I didn&#39;t find this book to be stressful. I realize and know that I am not, and never will be, a perfect parent. All I can do is aim to improve and be better by utilizing advice/tools/tips/books that make the most sense for my family.Theresa / inspirationCOOPERATIVEhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03002811206184372985noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134559196024739700.post-34756166347208549542012-05-08T14:12:02.306-07:002012-05-08T14:12:02.306-07:00Oh Grace, I&#39;m going to say this prayer every d...Oh Grace, I&#39;m going to say this prayer every day! Amen! My husband and I too have learned the hard way, unfortunately many times, that life is short and it keeps things in perspective for us. That is probably the biggest influence in how we parent. We cherish each day and try our hardest not to sweat the small stuff.the girl is crafteehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15096715272178584861noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134559196024739700.post-48427227175227469222012-05-08T13:43:50.706-07:002012-05-08T13:43:50.706-07:00I think your thought that it is a secret is so tru...I think your thought that it is a secret is so true... I can not tell you how scared I was to clean Henry&#39;s room out. I did it one day while he was at school. The anti-Christmas that I was conducting felt wrong. I felt like Henry was going to be angry at me, maybe even not trust me. BUT NO! total opposite. He actually thanked me for &quot;cleaning his room&quot; ever since he has been so much happier in his room. And just like the book suggests his level of creativity has gone throw the roof. He is making games out of trash and junk mail. No really he is kind of obsessed :). <br /><br />thank you for playing along.Fern and Featherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06265636404181782735noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134559196024739700.post-9949211135454973872012-05-08T04:12:09.163-07:002012-05-08T04:12:09.163-07:00*last line should read &quot;worthy&quot; to be lo...*last line should read &quot;worthy&quot; to be loved and respected and imitated &quot;by&quot; my children. It&#39;s 4am so I am half awake. Okay back to bed! xoxo~Grace Happens~https://www.blogger.com/profile/03188548061551729635noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134559196024739700.post-16580457916463818242012-05-08T04:08:35.020-07:002012-05-08T04:08:35.020-07:00Thank you Alexis for your reply. I will definitely...Thank you Alexis for your reply. I will definitely read the book as I know I can certainly benefit from it. Especially as I start all over raising a new child (who I am CERTAIN will be the tantrum queen!). And I also agree, SPOT ON Karina!!! That is my biggest issue right now with my son. He is slow to do everything, and I find myself constantly saying &quot;hurry up&quot;, when I should just step back. I have always been fully aware of living and cherishing every single moment of childhood, marriage, life etc, as I have learned the hard way that life is so short. This has made me okay with sitting for long periods just watching my son sleep, breathe, play because I want to take it all in. But contrary to that, I still find myself constantly rushing around to do things around the house and around town, and to be somewhere at a certain time and I hate that! I can&#39;t wait to read the book and gather the inspiration I need to just slow down. Alexis, I wanted to share a prayer that I read all the time which helps me get through the days...It&#39;s called For My Children...<br /><br />Heavenly Father, make me a better parent. Teach me to understand my children, to listen patiently to what they have to say, and to answer all their questions kindly. Keep me from interrupting them or contradicting them. Make me as courteous to them as I would have them be to me. Forbid that I should ever laugh at their mistakes or resort to shame or ridicule when they displease me. May I never punish them for my own selfish satisfaction or to show my power. Let me not tempt my child to lie or steal and guide me hour by hour that I may demonstrate by all I say and do that honestly produces happiness. Reduce, I pray, the meanness in me. And when I am out of sorts, help me, O Lord, to hold my tongue. May I ever be mindful that my children are children and I should not expect of them the judgment of adults. Let me not rob them of the opportunity to make their own decisions. Bless me with the bigness to grant them all their reasonable rquests and the courage to deny them privileges I know will do them harm. Make me fair and just and kind, owrthy to be loved and respected and imitated to my children. Amen.~Grace Happens~https://www.blogger.com/profile/03188548061551729635noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134559196024739700.post-11696477982702895052012-05-08T03:28:33.137-07:002012-05-08T03:28:33.137-07:00I was looking so forward to this discussion - I ho...I was looking so forward to this discussion - I hope it is not too late to comment. I blog early in the morning and yesterday the post was not yet up:)<br />We have recently had to simplify our life out of financial necessity and have moved from a big home in the suburbs to a skinny city house. In the process we had to rid ourselves of so many possessions including a load of toys. Compared to many friends and family members we didn&#39;t have a lot but it still seemed like too much. My family now is so much more like the family of my dreams. We have removed so much &quot;clutter&quot; from our lives. Now when I go into big houses filled with stuff, I find myself stressed out and I wonder how it must be for a small child. At the same time I feel like I am in on a secret - one that I am so grateful to know - and that my children will benefit from. This chapter confirmed that what I am feeling and what we have started is a good thing. <br /><br />Thank you for this book recommendation and this opportunity to discuss it!Tarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05361156266769772312noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134559196024739700.post-30796114867163953442012-05-07T23:09:24.867-07:002012-05-07T23:09:24.867-07:00I love everything both of you are saying actually ...I love everything both of you are saying actually and can completely relate to it. Cody and I were just talking about this actually. I love the idea of clearing out the clutter, but thats more from a visual standpoint {LOL} as far as our children are concerned and the way the family rolls we feel it&#39;s working really well so why change it. I am going to read the book and look forward to more inspiration to come from it, but also think that with the montessori style of learning in the early years of our kids lives that they do not long/need for the toys they receive as gifts. I can&#39;t say my kids have never had tantrums, but I can say that as they grow and as we rarely see a tantrum. Anyways, I just had to say that I completely agree, a not so simple life can function just as well as the simple style, but I think the book will be immensely helpful in all aspects of life. :)nicole {Coastal Family Living}http://www.coastalfamilyliving.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134559196024739700.post-85728819791821672312012-05-07T23:01:20.929-07:002012-05-07T23:01:20.929-07:00SPOT ON! I am so glad that you brought this up... ...SPOT ON! I am so glad that you brought this up... this is such a powerful powerful part of chapter one. I feel like as parents it is our job to cultivate and protect our children&#39;s childhood. It is the only time in their life that it is okay to just be a kid. Why would we ever take that away. I think this also has helped me to be more patient. As much as I love watching the clouds move... we have places to go people!! :) This is such a perfect way of reminding me to savor this time and stop trying to rush it a long. THANK YOU so much for this comment... so right on. oxFern and Featherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06265636404181782735noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134559196024739700.post-19877683080185285802012-05-07T22:25:52.249-07:002012-05-07T22:25:52.249-07:00Powerful first chapter. One thing that I keep in m...Powerful first chapter. One thing that I keep in mind when reading parenting books or blogs for that matter, is to look to them for inspiration and not comparison. If we look outside ourselves at books, blogs or &quot;experts&quot; and begin measuring ourselves against them, we will always feel like we are falling short. But if we use them as a tool, one of many, our intuition being first, then they can inspire us. There are many great ideas and tips that can enhance our lives and I feel like this book is definitely one of them.<br /><br />One thing that struck me from the first chapter was the quote, &quot;The pace of our lives is increasingly misaligned with the pace of childhood.&quot; Childhood is waking up slowly. It is sitting on mama&#39;s lap, warm from a night of dreams, snuggled in, drinking a sippy of morning milk and asking, &quot;what day is it and what are we doing.&quot; Childhood takes a l o n g time to get ready. There are many happy distractions on the way to &quot;find your shoes, we need to go.&quot; This chapter reminded me to slow down. To align my world with their pace when I can. This is their time and their life as much as it is mine. When there are five rolly polly&#39;s to be gathered on the way to the car, I remind myself about my childhood and how important that &quot;work&quot; of collecting things in nature was to me and I try and give them the time and space to do it. Many moments are rushed, so I make a conscious effort to have others that aren&#39;t. <br /><br />Thanks for the discussion!Karinahttp://blog.clusterart.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134559196024739700.post-85292049803021026372012-05-07T22:22:59.820-07:002012-05-07T22:22:59.820-07:00(one last comment :))... realized i didn&#39;t fin...(one last comment :))... realized i didn&#39;t finish my sentence. meant to say- it has been challenging- in such a positive, good, and powerful way... not in a stressful way, by any means. in fact, just the opposite. :)Torriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17903591819503011886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134559196024739700.post-28180870800401837782012-05-07T22:15:11.476-07:002012-05-07T22:15:11.476-07:00omg... LOVE it. {and love that your parents can re...omg... LOVE it. {and love that your parents can relate, understand, and appreciate your stance on this}... you&#39;re totally right. we (ryan &amp; i) are on the exact same page- which definitely helps.Torriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17903591819503011886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134559196024739700.post-52404081983814512422012-05-07T22:13:49.996-07:002012-05-07T22:13:49.996-07:00Neeks... I think you will like the book a lot... I...Neeks... I think you will like the book a lot... I am so looking forward to hearing what you think... especially with older kids... I only have Henry and Conrad to use it with and I think it will continue to get harder as they get older.... oxoxo!!!Fern and Featherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06265636404181782735noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134559196024739700.post-87153469759525971582012-05-07T22:12:27.741-07:002012-05-07T22:12:27.741-07:00Hi Erin... do you think your husband would read th...Hi Erin... do you think your husband would read the book? Ross is listening to it on his commute {on double time... which is pretty funny}... any way I don&#39;t think I could do it without his support. I think every little thing would be a battle between my parenting style {trying to do Simplicity Parenting} and his {the way we have always done it}..........Fern and Featherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06265636404181782735noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134559196024739700.post-11616278911414699462012-05-07T22:10:19.539-07:002012-05-07T22:10:19.539-07:00... when we start to see &quot;entitlement&quot; c...... when we start to see &quot;entitlement&quot; creep in (after too much over-indulgence/family time)... we make it our mission to turn things around a.s.a.p.Torriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17903591819503011886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134559196024739700.post-77951191506165045722012-05-07T22:09:42.159-07:002012-05-07T22:09:42.159-07:00Torrie... I feel like I may be repeating myself {b...Torrie... I feel like I may be repeating myself {because I am} but I think as long as you and your husband are on the same page and you feel like you are doing this to protect your kids you just have to ignore the comments that your family will give you. I feel really lucky that my family is on board. I think a lot of that is because my parents had a similar issue with my grandparents. I will never forget that one Easter my grandparents gave us all bunnies {live bunnies} and send us home on our 5 hour drive, 5 bunnies, 5 kids on Easter Sunday through LA traffic. I mean really???!!! could you imagine? So my parents have been on board.... ALTHOUGH.... they all sneak gifts in. What can I do?? I try.Fern and Featherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06265636404181782735noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134559196024739700.post-3121440240774996592012-05-07T22:07:30.570-07:002012-05-07T22:07:30.570-07:00AMEN :).AMEN :).Torriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17903591819503011886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134559196024739700.post-41520964389542574542012-05-07T22:02:40.322-07:002012-05-07T22:02:40.322-07:00Estelle &amp; Alexis~
I ordered the book a while ...Estelle &amp; Alexis~<br /><br />I ordered the book a while back, and although I knew I *needed to read it, I also knew that it would be pretty intense and powerful- in a good way, but also a potentially overwhelming way. Since it was a pretty chaotic time, I knew that it wasn&#39;t yet the right time to dig into it. So I set it aside and when life had calmed down a bit- when I knew that I&#39;d be more open to its concepts (rather than stressed by), I picked it back up. It has been challenging- in the sense that it is pushing the buttons that need to- w/out a doubt- be pushed... as a wife and mother (totally agree with you in regards to its relatedness to marriage).<br /><br />Alexis- loved your comment... oh boy, that sounds eerily familiar to my house as of late. it&#39;s amazing that even the smallest changes in regards to our attention, energy, focus, and time with our children make such a huge impact on their attitudes &amp; behaviors. Empowering.Torriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17903591819503011886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134559196024739700.post-52469315914166067762012-05-07T22:02:17.795-07:002012-05-07T22:02:17.795-07:00Hi sweetie... so the hardest part and I just told ...Hi sweetie... so the hardest part and I just told Amber {the girl is craftee... and she is ;)} is getting family involved. This would not be possible if Ross was not 100% on board. We have seen to many people be victims of entitlement that for us this is our biggest challenge. We have so much family and so much family that would give our kids the world if we would let them, but this is not good for them. I know that I have been the bad guy. I know that I am a wet blanket but I feel like I have to protect my kids from this over indulgence. And again... the stuff is just a fraction of what the book talks about. There is amazing stuff about &quot;pausing&quot; with your children and how to have intimate parenting moments. Or things about giving your child rhythms in their day to make them feel secure. So many things that I have never heard but is exactly the way I want to parent. oxo!!Fern and Featherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06265636404181782735noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134559196024739700.post-88880307649962746022012-05-07T21:56:47.605-07:002012-05-07T21:56:47.605-07:00Amber... it is not scary... I think when I say tha...Amber... it is not scary... I think when I say that I am really speaking to the idea of getting all family members on board. Luckily {and I highly suggest it} Ross has been listening to the book on his iphone so that we have been &quot;reading&quot; it together. It is amazing how we both hear things differently. It has been an amazing way for us to talk about how we want to parent and how we want our family to look. One of the things {and I will talk about this on day six &quot;Filtering Out the Adult World&quot;} we started NO SCREEN SUNDAYS... one day a week where there is no Instagram, no computer, no emailing, no TV... I mean of course you will have to make calls and things will come up but the fact that we want to dedicate one day to just being with each other is so exciting for me. This is something that I would have dreamed of when I was rubbing my belly planning for being a family :). I hope you do read it and I hope we can talk about it one day. oxo!!!Fern and Featherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06265636404181782735noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134559196024739700.post-24112524191242453202012-05-07T21:51:15.715-07:002012-05-07T21:51:15.715-07:00Grace... I think the issue of stuff is just a frac...Grace... I think the issue of stuff is just a fraction of what the book is about. Knowing you, knowing Harper and seeing you as a family I think you do many of the things that the book offers... most of the people who are saying that the book is stressing them out haven&#39;t read the book. It truly is the exact opposite. I think because you and Harper had that time at Waldorf you have been doing most of the things that have been new ideas for me. I totally know that you can have a happy child with lots of stuff. I can only speak for my family and the issue of stuff is actually where this all came from. A few weeks ago I wrote a post about &quot;Choice&quot; and how I feel like it is not good for Henry. Since I started reading this book I have tried to implement everything I could... giving time to &quot;pause&quot;, &quot;clearing out the stuff&quot;, not giving choices when it comes to food, what we are doing today or what to wear... every single thing I have tried has worked for Henry. It has been a few weeks and I have started to believe it isn&#39;t a fluke. He really does seem more content and at ease which is my goal. Of course we can not create a &quot;perfect&quot; environment but I do believe that I need to protect Henry&#39;s childhood and keep it as pure and clean as possible. <br />There are so many amazing points in this book that I think you would love... mostly because you do them already but also because it is such a great book just for life, our marriages and just keeping life as simple as possible.<br /><br />oxo!!!!Fern and Featherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06265636404181782735noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134559196024739700.post-29287337765376049432012-05-07T21:44:32.178-07:002012-05-07T21:44:32.178-07:00p.s. Mel~ I&#39;m inspired by your persistent (and...p.s. Mel~ I&#39;m inspired by your persistent (and firm) stance on this. I remember when we had a little twitter conversation about this a while back, and I told Ryan the next day- she&#39;s just like US!! I was excited to know that we are not alone in this, and I felt empowered to remain firm &amp; strong in the face of resistance :). Love the detail (and transparency) that you shared here in regards to your approach- purging, toy-buying, television, activities, etc.Torriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17903591819503011886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-134559196024739700.post-68224563223428695872012-05-07T21:34:53.737-07:002012-05-07T21:34:53.737-07:00Mel &amp; Erin~ This is the same issue that we hav...Mel &amp; Erin~ This is the same issue that we have, and continue to deal with. I can relate entirely. On one hand they are completely loving &amp; nurturing towards our children (&amp; supportive in regards to helping us with whatever we may need, babysitting, school events, etc), but on the other hand it&#39;s been an uphill battle when it comes to gifts, video games/tv, toys, activities... I agree entirely that kids simply want to spend time with their loved ones- it doesn&#39;t have to involve over-indulgence, letting them do whatever they want (even if what they &quot;want&quot; is to watch tv all day). I&#39;ve found that family members have an even more difficult time relating with kids once they are older- not knowing *how to spend time with them or even what to talk to them about- which seems to result in more stepping away and letting them do as they wish- as opposed to creatively trying to come up with valuable, interactive activities- or even just sitting around the table with them over a cup of hot chocolate and a good conversation.<br /><br />{just a little venting: my family members (a few of them in particular) hate when we get rid of/purge toys... i can tell that it physically bothers them, and they think it&#39;s insane/cruel that we are &quot;throwing&quot; away their stuff... they think that they&#39;ll only be little for so long, and that we should &quot;let them be kids&quot;- which i guess means- place no limits/restrictions/boundaries in place? one time I heard my aunt say that she never knows what to get my kids since they&#39;re not really &quot;in to toys&quot;- implying that their rooms are bare and toy-free- which has never been the case... they&#39;re just not filled with &quot;junk&quot; ;).}Torriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17903591819503011886noreply@blogger.com