43 Answers from the Community

I struggle with faith so much it's unreal. It's definitely one of the things I feel I'm constantly praying about. One of my favorite sayings are "Faith doesn't make things easy, it makes them possible". Don't give up on your faith. Chemo is rough. It sucks. Makes you sick, does weird things to your body but I can't help but think how much harder it would have been without faith. Keep your chin up.

They say God answers all prayers, they just don't say how. I know that many people find their faith to be a source of comfort and strength, but your reaction is normal, too. I would suggest finding a religious counsellor (ie priest, minister, rabbi, iman, whatever) whom you trust and talk over your feelings with them. If you picked the right one, they will be understanding and compassionate and may help you find the answers you seek.

I am a enormous believer in a positive mental attitude. Yes it's tough to keep. But you can do it. Try to keep your mind off the negative things, off of what you don't want, and concentrate on those things that make you happy, and your ulitmate goal, to be DONE.
A favorite quote of mine is, "Tough Times Never Last, Tough People Do" You are tough, you will last.
Check back here often when you need help, lots of great people here who have been through the tunnel you are in, and came out the other side!

I also struggle with faith. I pray often and He doesn't give me the answers I want most of the time. Sometimes, the answer is yes, sometimes it's no. I get angry, too. But, for some reason, I keep on praying and find comfort in that and in the feeling that I'm not alone.

I here you. I have been having a rough time the last few months. It's so hard some days. I have "joked' that G-d and I are not on speaking terms at the moment, as I am having so much trouble finding spiritual comfort. Mother Tressa is credited with this saying "I trust that God would never give me anything I can not handle, I just wish he didn't trust me so much".

I have started seeing a therapist who specializes in treating people with cancer. She is helping me work through the day to day issues related to my treatment, etc. You might also want to talk to your oncologist about the physical and emotional side effects of your treatment. I spoke with mine and as a result we reduced the amount of steroids I am getting, which has helped some. I also ask for and got the name of a doctor for a Pharma consult to help me deal with my anxiety and extreme anger, lack of sleep, etc.

Keep connect and don't be afraid to ask for help. We are here to support each other.

Hi Kathy: I'm an Atheist and don't believe in God; I believe in our own power to make things right, to help ourselves. I agree with Greg that a positive attitude can really make a difference in how you respond to treatment.

Also, be pro-active--speak up to your onc about any/all problems you have. I told mine the steroids were driving me nuts--and so he cut the dosage in half! When you are pro-active, it makes you feel like you are more in charge of this crummy situation of having cancer.

And find out all about your type of cancer and what the recommended treatments are. This also will give you more leverage with your treatment--you can add OR refuse any treatment your onc sug-gests, but with which you disagree. If you want reconstruction, investigate the different options and find a doctor who performs the type that you choose.

All of these suggestions are bound to help you feel better and let you know that you are moving in a positive way to rid yourself of cancer! Many people (some on this site) have done those things and have been amazed to find the strength inside that they have. You are strong enough to do this, too! Good luck & keep us posted. We care about you.

I was a strong believer then about 3 years ago I found myself so mad about the cancer and the fact that it keeps coming back I got mad at God and abandoned my faith and everything to do with it. With this last phase of my husbands cancer returning I found myself returning to my faith, returning to church and the amazing support system it brings to our lives. I can't say that my prayers are always answered, nor are the prayers of everyone praying for my husband (peroll), but I can say it doesn't so much matter to me anymore. I've come to realize that the prayers mean the world to us, but so do the friends praying. I do bellieve God has a plan for all this and while the answer is not yet the anser I want to see, I don't lose my spirit to fight when I walk in my faith. My faith gives me something strong to hold on to.

I do think that struggling with our faith is something we do go and grow through as we are fighting for a cure and we pray for a cure, and we care saddened and frustrated when the cure is not the result of our prayers. How can we not lose faith when we are in the midst of this? Thankfully for me, it didn't go far I reconnected to become while again.

Suffering, part of the human condition, is little understood today and often poorly dealt with. It makes no sense unless it is put in the historical context of a particular world view. For those of us moderns who still cling to that anachronistic belief in a Creator of all things, it can begin to make sense. As a Christian, I consider that God did not spare His only Son from suffering - in fact, suffering was the reason that His Son took flesh, as it was an integral part of reconciling us to our Maker. God came to meet us where we are, rather than where we needed to be. Think of it this way: those who believe and are baptized (Mark 16:16) are parts of the Son's Body (1 Corinthians 12:27, Ephesians 5:30). We strive to remain in Him and He in us. Just as He offers His Body to His Father on our behalf, we, being members of that same Body, may also offer our suffering to the Father. And, just as our Lord's suffering had eternal value, so can our suffering. But, how do we obtain value out of our suffering? How can it help us, or others? We can present our suffering to God, being members of His Son's Body. We can offer our suffering for purposes both in time as well as in eternity. Have you ever heard the phrase "Offer it up"? This can apply to all forms of suffering, from anxiety and stress to injury and disease. For those who are Christian, we cannot separate ourselves from Him, and so, can offer our suffering while bearing our own crosses, in total solidarity with our Savior. Now, our purpose must be in accord with God's will, but suffering was and is intended to be redemptive in nature. I realize that this may seem to be a completely new way of viewing and dealing with suffering, but it has been used for almost 2,000 years now. In truth, when we suffer, our lives are the most like our Savior's. But, just as our Redeemer did not waste His suffering, neither should we.

There was a time in my treatment when I had been totally beaten down. I had a massive normal flora invasion, my mouth was lined with sores, I was burning a fever, and I had no energy and the desire not to suffer anymore. I said, "Lord, if you want me, take me, I'm ready to go." And my heart took another beat, and then another, and so far....it hasn't stopped. Then there was the time I was riding my motorcycle when an aXXhole pulled out in front of me and I saw clearly that there was nothing I could do to avoid hitting him head on. I said, "Lord, I'm in your hands."
So, remember that story about footprints in the sand? Sometimes you're not walking with the Lord, sometimes he's carrying you.
Let him.

Hi, Kathy. Ugh. Those dark days of chemo when you feel like you are in a deep, dark hole and nobody can reach you. You feel like you are alone in the battle. But, really, you are surrounded by so many who have gone through the same thing, who have felt the same feelings. It is hard to stay positive. I asked God for strength and courage every day; that was my constant prayer. I was afraid to ask Him for healing. Isn't that crazy? Somehow, over the past year, He granted all of it to me. Please hang in there and keep talking to God, even when you are angry about all that's happening to you. Please don't give up on God or on yourself. Together you can do this!

STAY POSITIVE! Check out some of the books on my website: www.cancerkaleidoscope.com. One thing I do is call my best friend every morning. We choose a page from a book called "Now is the Time" (available cheap on Amazon.com) and read and discuss that page. Some are faithful, every page has a great quote on the bottom. Surround yourself with positive people, and if you are still in the hospital, make sure the Chaplian knows and can visit every day. My hospital Chaplain was always full of positivity, and said a prayer for me every day. I also prayed for those past loved ones to come to me in my dreams for comfort....and they did! Blessings and continued prayers to you!

post chemo is awful, i'm 4 months past chemo and radiation, when i felt as bad as you are feeling
i really stuck with devotionals and the bible, never knew how calming it could be.
you are lucky with this website, i did not have access,immediately following treatment, stay connected, it is so helpful to know others are going through, or have gone through what you are.
praying for you.

My husband has those weeks. He was diagnosed 2 years and 1 month ago with stage 4 GBM. I immediately went to my family, church, Facebook with our sadness. Prayers have rolled in from people we don't even know, from all over the country. My sweetie should have been gone a long time ago, but he's still with me and we still make plans to do things. He is disabled and can't work but he's still here. Just pray for God's will. He knows what he wants your life to be. Keep strong, you are more than likely effecting other people's lives with your courage, strength, faith. I cannot imagine how he has made it through 24 Avastin/Irinoteken treatments, but he has. You can do it too.

I'm so sorry to hear you are having trouble with your chemo. My next rounds may find me there the next stuff for me sounds like it's a bit tougher on the body, but as a disciple of the positive thought, I continue to think those positive thoughts and look forward to tomorrow (yup I'll find out or "decide" what's next Thursday). That's right as I've said before I'm a warrior and look forward to the battle. It never seems all that bad when you look beyond the moment.

While I'm not a big fan of organized religion any more, this is one time when, if you are a fan, you should seek out others in your group including the leaders and pray together. There is real power in community and community is 2 or more people. With what I've said would it surprise you if I told you that I have 2 such "community prayer" meetings scheduled for today? Yes I'm a believer, just not in the bricks and mortar. Also realize that we all question our faith, if not it's blind and worthless. Questioning makes it stronger. Finding a silver lining in last week's black cloud has been challenging for me, but I KNOW it's there. I continue to look and maybe I'll find it tomorrow.

Kathy, keeping faith through difficult times is the most challenging for most believers. But one thing we have to remember, when things are going bad/wrong (ex. cancer, chemo, sickness,etc) and we feel the urge to give up on believeing that is a trick of the enemy (devil) and that's when he gets his joy. During those times when it seems that prayers are not working and God is not listening is when we keep on praying, keep on believeing and keep on trusting.
god doesn't always answer when we want Him to or with what we think the answer should be, but be assured that the answer is what's best for us. I have learned that sometimes our trails are a test of our endurance, our trust and our faith and sometimes it is to help someone else.
When others see us going through and still keep our head up and gives God the thanks for being in our lives, that gives others hope and strength.
So Kathy, don't give up on your faith, don't give up on your belief and don't give up on God. His word says he will never leave us nor foresake us. Start reading scriptures from the book of Psalms. There are many that are very comforting but never give up.

By the way my prayer group includes an atheist, some Catholics, many protestants, several Jews, a couple Islamists, and a Hindu. And yes even the atheist in his very unique way prays with me. They are all wonderful and it does help to be part of a very large community. Remember you are never alone unless you want to be.

Thank you all so much for each and every response. I feel encouraged. I'm day 8 post chemo and its the diarrhea making me nuts. That's how may days have been starting out - today included. I appreciate all of your prayers and the support of you all.

Kathy, I just got up this morning and your's is the first post I read. My first chemo week was brutal. I had friends, family and strangers praying for me. I used to go to church and play an activate part in the community. Something happened, I won't say what, and I lost my faith. After finding out that I had cancer I found myself praying in my bed as I endured the pain. I also listened to "meditation" music to help take my mind off what my body was feeling. While I still have my moments I find that I can get past them easier with music, prayer and meditation. One relegion is not any better than the next, it is what you belive that counts. Please look up "On Eagles Wings" and listen to it. I didn't know that I could do this but I KNOW I can and Know that you can too. Talk with your Doctor and tell him what issues you are having. That is part of their job to help you also. May the peace of the L - - - be with you and may your pain be lifted from your body as you recover.

My Sister in law is named Kathy also and we fight this horrible Monster together. I cannot imagine going thru this without God. I know sometimes we don't understand why but I am always reminded that God is in full control and we have to trust in his time frame not ours. I can tell you there has been so many times that God has brought us through some impossible places. I have seen so many prayers answered in my Sister in laws behalf. There has also been times that I have prayed so hard and see nothing but it doesn't mean that God is not there it just means not now. He knows what is best. Maybe we have to go thru certain things to make us stronger or even to make our loved ones stronger. Stay strong in your faith and know that our God loves you and never stop praying. God's timing is not ours so don't give up and trust Him always.

My Sister in law is named Kathy also and we fight this horrible Monster together. I cannot imagine going thru this without God. I know sometimes we don't understand why but I am always reminded that God is in full control and we have to trust in his time frame not ours. I can tell you there has been so many times that God has brought us through some impossible places. I have seen so many prayers answered in my Sister in laws behalf. There has also been times that I have prayed so hard and see nothing but it doesn't mean that God is not there it just means not now. He knows what is best. Maybe we have to go thru certain things to make us stronger or even to make our loved ones stronger. Stay strong in your faith and know that our God loves you and never stop praying. God's timing is not ours so don't give up and trust Him always.

You have to believe that God is hearing you and answering your prayers. That is faith. It is in your hands, not God's. He has already done his part, the minute you prayed to him. You have to act like God has heard you. Thank God for relieving your pain. Thank God for giving you the strength to get through this. Thank God that he gave his only son that you could be healed. Make sure you are right with God. Follow his commandments. Confess your sins. Maybe you are standing in the way. It is definitely not God. Sending love and blessings your way.

God has heard your prayers and answered your prayers. You have to believe this. This is faith. The minute you prayed to God, he heard you and acted. Believe you have received. Thank God for your healing. Thank God for hearing your prayers. Thank God for his son that allows you to be healed. God is not standing in your way. Maybe you are. Keep his commandments. Confess your sins. Is God the number one priority in your life? Strengthen your faith by reading the Bible, pray for others, give praise to God. Sending love and blessings your way.

Your question caused me to examine my faith when I went through chemo. I am a Christian, in leadership at our church as the minister of music / worship leader. There were many people holding me up in prayer, yet there were times when I was so sick and unable to feel those prayers; times when i was so weak I could barely walk or get out of bed. There were nights when I wasn't sure if I would even wake up in the morning, and times where I felt as though God somehow abandoned me. Although I couldn't feel it at the time, it was in these times when the prayers were working, maybe even overtime. Each time when I experienced too much pain to walk, I somehow took those few steps to the next room; each time I laid my head down at night, I somehow woke up in the morning, taking in another breath; God worked through people by delivering meals for my family; I learned not to rely on what I feel, but rather on what I know - that God is by our side and carries us through this journey. I was never alone, and when I was weak, His strength somehow carried me through. Try to get a vision of God carrying you through - just like the famous footprints picture. I look back now and see where I was experiencing God on a whole new level. This is not easy - to believe in something that we cannot see, feel, or hear - and that is what faith is. My last treatment was July 17, 2012, and I still have to remind myself sometimes not to rely on what I feel, but to go by what I know. As a Christian, I know that the words in the bible are true. So I am choosing to stand upon this truth.
You've come this far, I encourage you to not give up ... weeping may come in the night (the night is your circumstance or season that you may be going through), but Joy comes in the morning (when your treatment is over, or circumstance is resolved). I can't imagine going through this journey without my faith.

I am so sorry you are having such a tough time. I agree with those who recommend meeting with your oncologist and discussing your difficulties (In detail, pile on the descriptive language), get medical intervention. I am not much help on the faith end, doing lots of peripheral studying, find self guided imagery helpful. I am post chemo/radiation but remember how bottomless the difficult days seemed. Reach out, experiment, find what best works for you. Lindy

I had Bone Cancer and was tempted to give up many times during my journey. Each time God in some manner would come into my life to give me the strength to push on. I am ten years removed from that part of the journey, but I will never forget it. I wrote a book that might be just up your ally, "A Call to Faith, the Journey of a Cancer Survivor." If you are interested, send me your address and I will give you a copy. Peace.

Hi Kathy. I know it's hard. I've had cancer twice in my life and chemo three times. I had a different chemo each time. I could go on and on about about the pain, pressures, disappointments, etc. but I will not. PUSH=Pray Until Something Happens. Don't look at where you are. See yourself painless and cancer free. Call those things that are not as though they were. You have moved passed faith to healed. I consider myself not just a survivor. I'm CC a cancer conqueror ad you are two. Be blessed my sister. I'm praying for you.

Kathy~ I think a lot of us go through this at some point in treatment. People would say to me be strong. They have no Idea how much pain and suffering you are going through. It's a process we must endure to be able to live. I think it's a test. We learn a lot of thing about ourselves and how to cope with what has been given to us. Then we will help others going through this. So I reach out my hand and lift you up and give you a warm hug, this too shall pass. Love and light my friend.
I have been there too. Jennifer

Kathy I did not go through chemo but did endure bilateral mastecomies with terrible recovery. There were days I could not walk down the hall the pain was overwhelming. I really did not know if I was going to get better or not. But I kept on saying "God I trust you" over and over. It helped me so much. You should seek out counseling, our cancer center provided that free of charge to all cancer patients. Having someone to talk to really helps. Hang in there, and remember there is an army fighting and praying for you and we all love you.

Hi again Kathy. I was just thinking about you as I was reading Our Daily Bread Saturday, October 20 - Watching and Waiting. Please read it. It blessed me. I pray it will bless you to. When you've been blessed, pass it on ( a song by Patti LaBelle).

Hello Kathy. I was diagnosed 10 years ago, at the age of 26, as terminal. Since then I've had many radical surgeries and over 6 years of chemo. I was raised in church, my mother teaches Sunday School, and my father-in-law is a pastor. I do know you might not want to hear this, but I will put this out there and know you will not judge me. I did lose my religion. I remember the day it left completely. A little girl named Alex on the Today show trying to raise money to fight cancer. Too weak to walk, she was in a wheelchair. I could see her port. I knew that she had never worn her hair in a ponytail because she had never had enough hair. When Matt asked if she would come back in a year when she had raised the money, she looked up and weakly said, "If I can..." A six year old? You very well may not need any of this right now, but I wanted you to have a variety of answers. Just be patient with yourself and understand that your questions are fair questions to ask. I don't think God could be insulted by questions. Who with any kindness could fault you? Good luck to you.

This is really a great question. It is one of the fundamental questions of faith. It is known as the Problem of Pain or Why does God let bad things happen to good people? The inspired author of the Book of Job tried to answer this question and I certainly don't think I can improve on that.

But I have been thinking and, while I am sure I don't have the answer, maybe some of my thoughts might help.

Maybe, bad things happen because the alternative is worse. For example, pain itself serves a function. There are people who don't suffer pain. They have a disease called Hansen's Disease. This might seem ideal but, in fact, those who suffer from Hansen's Disease have to be constantly on guard lest they suffer terrible injuries and infections. Their bodies do not warn them of damage. Another name for Hansen's Disease is Leprosy.

In the case of cancer, maybe we look at cancer the wrong way. Cancer isn't an excess of death. It is, in a very real sense, an excess of life. One of the characteristics of cancer is that cancerous cells don't die. If they did, cancer wouldn't be as much of a problem. All cells, except cancer cells, have a lifespan. Our bodies constantly replace old cells with new cells. With cancer cells, the mechanism that causes cell death is turned off. They just accumulate and grow. Maybe a world without cancer would be a world without life.

I don't pretend to know the mind of God. Maybe my reflections on this approach the truth, maybe they do not. I can't say. But, I am sure that God does not want pain and agony for us. The world is as it is. I'm sure, if a better world were possible, then God would want that for us. But, that is what faith is about. We don't know and can't know. We can only trust.

Great posts here! I just want to add that having chemo & feeling so crappy can really affect our moods. After my first round I cried a lot. I wasn't even sure that I knew why really. I thought I couldn't do this cancer thing. But I did drop to knees one day & cried out to God give me strength. It seemed to give me a sense of peace. I am 2 years out from treatment for Breast cancer & 3 for colon cancer. I show no evidence of disease. You will feel better later! For now, be patient, rest and fight like a girl with all you've got! Good luck to you!

These posts have had a huge impact on my journey in a good way. I need to thank you all again. Today I'm getting my hair buzzed and I continue to have a renewed Godlike strength and I feel I owe it to all of you that responded at one of my lowest moments. God Bless.

Due to a stage 4 diagnosis, a poor prognosis, a lack of standard treatment, an eight-drug dose-intensive chemo regimen, an immediate relapse and a dropping of my prognosis to "very poor", I had to ask for strength on a daily basis. And, each day I received it. During this journey, I had to confront death twice. I was within about three months of dying at diagnosis, with no guarantee that any combination of chemo would work. After my health was taken to the tipping point by the chemo, and when the cancer immediately relapsed, there remained nothing except even less-effective chemo and hospice. Realizing that the end might very well be drawing near, I faced the fact that I had not given life to myself, and that I was not the one calling it home. I had been holding onto my life so tightly that it was squeezing through my fingers. At this point, when death would likely arrive within a few months, I simply let go of all claim that I had on my life, and told God "Do with me as You will". I forced myself to trust Him. And, unbeknownst to me, in the moment that I trusted Him, He handed my life back to me - waiting for me to trust Him. A clinical trial of an experimental drug aimed exactly at my rare, relapsed T-Cell lymphoma appeared at that time. I entered the trial and my cancer hated the drug. It went into complete response and I have had no evidence of disease for over 3 1/2 years now. There was a succession of miraculous occurrences that simply cannot be coincidence. As well, I no longer believe in coincidence. My faith sustained me through all of this and it has been made clear to me that my job now is to offer hope to those for whom there appears to be none.
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