I'm an Abortion Doula. This Is Why I Want to Help Women

Patrice Williams, 21, is a student in public health at Rutgers University, a trained HIV test counselor, and an abortion doula with the Doula Project in New York City. She spoke with Glamour.com about working as a doula for the past year. As told to Elisabeth Garber-Paul.

My interest in health care came from hating the doctor’s office. I hated going for annual checkups. I was always nervous, and I was always uncomfortable, and so I think that when I figured out, "Oh, doulas support people through that," I was like, “I wish I had a doula just to go to my primary care doctor!”

There are different kinds of abortion doulas, but with the Doula Project, we're actually able to be with people during their abortions. What we do is we introduce people into the room. We get them set up in their gown and little booties, and we talk to them and ask them how they're doing, and we try and make their room a welcoming space for them and tell them that we're there for whatever they need.

The first thing I'll say is, “How are you feeling today?” A lot of times, people respond with “I'm nervous,” which is normal. This isn’t something people do every day. So then I'll ask them, “Are you nervous about any specific part, or is it just everything in general?” And then sometimes I’ll ask if they want to walk through the procedure. They go through it prior to coming in for the procedure, but sometimes it helps to do it again. A lot of times people ask, “Is it gonna hurt?” And we answer, “Every body is different, so there's no measurable way to calculate that pain level for you. The sensations you're going to be feeling are similar to cramping, so if you cramp during your period, it could be a little bit stronger, maybe it's a little more concentrated in a short amount of time, but that's what you'll feel. But it's 100 percent something that you can make it through, and we'll be working with you through it.” But we talk about the procedure—we don't offer any medical advice, and they also have the nurses and the doctors in the room as well. It’s a very safe procedure.

We have a lot of different techniques to help people relax. We help people remember to breathe. I tell patients they can squeeze my hand, and I ask if they want any music on. We do a lot of talking. A lot of times people want to talk about other things, so we'll talk about what they had for dinner last night, what they’re doing this weekend, stuff like that. That's usually how we start off, and I think it helps people open up. Maybe they don't want to talk about the abortion at this point in time, but to feel like they can talk about anything in the room.

Doulas are really in the work of listening to people. I think a lot of times in healthcare, people try to go so fast, to make it profitable, that patients don't really get to talk about themselves, or to explore their own lives in relation to their healthcare. So when I talk to people, I ask them, “What do you do for school? What do you do for work? What are your goals?” And I hope that I can remind them that their lives are important, their lives are interesting. An abortion is a very complex choice to make, and no one can be labeled as anything in making that choice. I think that doulas bring that to the forefront in saying, the room is for whatever you need it to be. It's OK to feel sad, it's okay to feel angry, it's okay to feel happy, it's OK to feel relief.