The Receiving Principle

Trauma changes us. Without our permission — or even a head’s-up — trauma alters and reshapes the central structure of our personality.

We become somebody diffferent than we were before, often beyond our control. Symptoms manage our lives. Bonded relationships seem suspect. We are unable to be soothed, consoled. Our sense of empathy becomes occluded by inexplicable anger. Or, we lose the empathy boundary and become such bleeding hearts that we give everything away.

What is more profound, for those who suffer from Post Traumatic Stress, is that we fight the cure.

We cannot let in what needs to be let in: Soothing, joy, confidence in the next moment, letting go of fear. Defenses are too important.

The Receiving Principle. To be able to receive what will heal us, we must allow ourselves to let the good things in. Receive and accept openly, on a deep, personality-changing level.

The trauma did that — so why not allow ourselves to be changed by the positives?

The Receiving Principle is simple: Let it come in. Be available and responsive to soothing, joy, a place of peace in a place so far inside that nobody but ourselves can see it.

Trusting and willing to allow ourselves to be changed by the healing things we receive. Not keeping them on the outside, not just going through the motions, not participating at arms-length.

But letting go, welcoming in and allowing what we receive to alter the Self.

We will become different as a person. Get curious about who that might be.

Letting go of ourdefenses will feel like we are allowing ourselves to be stupid, standing and exposed targets.

Trusting in at least a suspension of fear is a start. We can always go back to our defenses if it backfires.

This is the Receiving Principle in short – form:

1. Restorative Acts. Make a running list of what restores your spirit and body, mental clarity and emotional fluidity.

2. Allow those restorative acts to change you. Be available and responsive — instead of rebelling, let yourself be molded.

3. Remember the mantra: Renew, Repair, Restore.

Trauma invaded us and changed who we are. Allow ourselves now to receive something — of our choice — to change who we are for the better.

A rebirth. Like childbirth, rebirthing is messy and painful and scary. Allow the passage into newness with all its humble earthiness. Permission to rebirth out of the mash of symptoms and often, wreckage.

Instead of defensiveness — get curious. Approach the Receiving Principle with a sense of adventure and wonder.

Learning to receive, and be changed by it, is a healthy developmental task for everyone all through the lifespan.

Congratulate yourself on engaging in this learning curve that most persons without PTS won’t consider.

We will have so much more to offer, if we learn to truly receive.

Heidi D. Hansen is a retired child-family therapist and is currently an artist and freelance writer. ReceivingPrinciplec2014HeidiDHansen. email: ad.dogs.unleashed@gmail.com

FINAL DRAFT
Trauma changes us. Without our permission — or even a head’s-up — trauma alters and reshapes the central structure of our personality.

We become somebody diffferent than we were before, often beyond our control. Symptoms manage our lives. Bonded relationships seem suspect. We are unable to be soothed, consoled. Our sense of empathy becomes occluded by inexplicable anger. Or, we lose the empathy boundary and become such bleeding hearts that we give everything away.

What is more profound, for those who suffer from Post Traumatic Stress, is that we fight the cure.

We cannot let in what needs to be let in: Soothing, joy, confidence in the next moment, letting go of fear. Defenses are too important.

The Receiving Principle. To be able to receive what will heal us, we must allow ourselves to let the good things in. Receive and accept openly, on a deep, personality-changing level.

The trauma did that — so why not allow ourselves to be changed by the positives?

The Receiving Principle is simple: Let it come in. Be available and responsive to soothing, joy, a place of peace in a place so far inside that nobody but ourselves can see it.

Not keeping them on the outside, not just going through the motions, not participating at arms-length. But coming away changed by what we have received.

Letting go, welcoming in and allowing what we receive to alter the Self.

We will become different as a person. Get curious about who that might be.

Letting go of our defenses will feel like we are allowing ourselves to be stupid, standing and exposed targets.

Trusting in at least a suspension of fear is a start. We can always go back to our defenses if it backfires.

This is the Receiving Principle in short – form:

1. Restorative Acts. Make a running list of what restores your spirit and body, mental clarity and emotional fluidity.

2. Allow those restorative acts to change you. Be available and responsive — instead of rebelling, let yourself be molded.

3. Remember the mantra: Renew, Repair, Restore.

Trauma invaded us and changed who we are. Allow ourselves now to receive something — of our choice — to change who we are.

A rebirth. Like childbirth, rebirthing is messy and painful and scary. Allow the passage into newness with all its humble earthiness. Permission to rebirth out of the mash of symptoms and often, wreckage.

Instead of defensiveness — get curious. Approach the Receiving Principle with a sense of adventure and wonder.

Learning to receive, and be changed by it, is a healthy developmental task for everyone all through the lifespan.

Congratulate yourself on engaging in this learning curve that most persons without PTS won’t consider.

We will have so much more to offer, if we learn to truly receive.

Heidi D. Hansen is a retired child-family therapist and is currently an artist and freelance writer. ReceivingPrinciplec2014HeidiDHansen. email: ad.dogs.unleashed@gmail.com