How Long Will It Take to Get Over Your Breakup?

Being deeply hurt by someone you love can leave you in complete anguish. Your whole life feels like it has fallen apart, the heartache never seems to end.

You blame yourself. You go over and over what you could have done differently.

You could have been more loving… more patient… less angry… less jealous… more tolerant.

The list goes on and on. You wonder, how long will it take to get over this?

The reality of a life without the one you love is sometimes more than you can bear—even when you know he was the one who let you down. Some people never truly heal their heartbreak. They become closed off and protective, never fully opening themselves to love again. Sometimes they become so angry, bitter and cynical about love that they end up sabotaging future relationships.

A few years back, I found myself in your shoes. The man I thought I was going to marry broke my heart. I cried, prayed and cried some more while trying to figure out how I would move forward.

Finally, I realized if I wanted to be happy again, it was up to me. I’m not here to tell you it’s as easy as flipping a switch, it’s not, but it can be done. If you’ve been trying to recover on your own and feel that you aren’t making progress, working with a therapist or coach can help you tremendously.

Within three months, while working with a therapist or coach, you should be emotionally stable, meaning; you don’t cry or feel guilty when you think about your ex, or think that you should go back to him. You would be able to see clearly and have peace with why the relationship ended.

Within nine months, you should be “back to life,” feeling emotionally stable, resuming your life and enjoying the things you did prior to the relationship, like going out with friends.

By 12 months you should be fully in your sweet spot and ready to move forward. Feeling confident and happy is the key to being able to move on and try a new relationship. While these are guidelines, there are exceptions to the rule. Some women heal on their own, but with the work of a coach or therapist, you can uncover some of the deep feelings or insecurities that can lead to the negative cycle of bad relationships.

Whichever way you choose, taking time to heal, building your confidence and rediscovering your favorite activities are stepping stones to healing. If you are struggling and can’t seem to make any progress, please seek guidance and support – it’s the healthiest thing you can do!

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I would love to hear your comments below! How long do you think it should take to get over a breakup?

Want to work with me 1-1, call (864) 559-8181 to schedule your appointment.

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about suntia

Suntia Smith is a Masters Level Clinical Social Worker with years of experience helping couples in conflict reconnect, rebuild, and fiercely protect their happily ever after. She’s known for her unique and refreshing therapy style, which swirls together straight-shooting honesty, nail-on-the-head intuition and empowering couple cheerleading.

Since earning a Bachelor Degree in Psychology and a Master Degree in Social Work from the University of South Carolina, Suntia has offered individual, couples and teen counseling to show others how to deal with everyday life and relationship struggles better while still preserving their personal integrity. Her specialties include rebuilding trust after infidelity, anxiety, resolving family conflict, repairing relationship trauma, and learning how to build confidence.

In addition to her private counseling practice, Suntia is a Board Approved Clinical Supervisor, and trains social workers who are seeking LISW licensure. Because of her amazing ability to inspire others, Suntia continues to be a highly sought after motivational speaker, life coach and workshop presenter. She lives in Greenville, South Carolina, where she can often be found Zumba dancing or planning her next global adventure.

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about suntia smith

SUNTIA SMITH, LISW-CP is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker & Couples Therapist who uses proven emotion-focused techniques and cognitive behavioral methodologies to help her clients deal with everyday life and relationship struggles better. By taking a positive, proactive and practical approach to emotional well-being, Suntia teaches others how to develop a stronger sense of self, so they can love deeper and live lighter.

Contact the office to discover how you can have the relationship you want with the one you love.