Thursday, August 30, 2012

I guess I wasn't supposed to be a matchmaker. I set up five couples, and none of them worked out. Most of them said I wasn't even close. Yet I thought each time that they were perfect matches. I have a friend who has made seven successful matches - and she didn't really know the people that well at all. Is there a secret to matchmaking that I don't know about?

Answer:

Yes, there is a secret every good matchmaker knows. They haven't got a clue how to make matches. Because knowing two people separately has little to do with knowing how they would be together.

The human soul is like the flame of a candle. Every soul radiates a light, a presence, an aura that fills the room. Each person has a flame with a hue and colour that is uniquely yours. This is your presence, the energy you give off, the impression you make, your soul's signature, the light of your candle.

When two people come together, just as when two candles come together, the room is now filled not with two lights, but one. Their respective auras combine to create a new light that is more than just the sum of the two of them, it is a third party, a group energy. I am me, and you are you, but when we come together we create a we that is not just you plus me. Our relationship is a personality, a new being, with a light and energy of its own.

This is why it is hard to predict how two people will get on together. You may know both as individuals, but you don't know that third party, the new light that arrives when the two meet. We may think two people would be perfect for each other, yet when they are alone together the energy between them doesn't work. They may have similar candles individually, they just don't merge together well. Similarly, we often look at a happy couple and think, "I would never have put them together", yet they are obviously well suited. While their individual candles may seem different, together their flames create a harmonious light.

We can't know in advance whether there will be chemistry between two people. Just because they both like baroque music or love Indian food or have an avid interest in communist architecture does not mean they must meet. Rather, if you know two people who share the same values and beliefs, have similar visions for their future family, even if they seem such different characters, introduce them. The rest they can discover for themselves.

Every new couple is a new source of light for the world. Even if you haven't been successful until now, don't give up making matches. With G-d's help, you'll light the right flame.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

I'll tell you why I prefer science over religion. The Bible is riddled with contradictions and inconsistencies. To accept it you have to have faith. Science on the other hand is a rational system. Why cling to old inaccurate myths like the creation story of Genesis when the theory of evolution provides a clear and logical explanation for the origins of the universe?

Answer:

Science and religion have far more in common than most give credit. Both require intense study to be understood correctly, and both can be easily misunderstood and dismissed as inaccurate when studied superficially. A cursory reading of the Torah can indeed lead one to think that it makes no sense. But the same applies to science.

I have not studied evolution theory in depth, and so my understanding of it is limited. Such shallow knowledge can easily lead to perceived contradictions. For example, as I understand it, evolution theory posits that life developed gradually from a simple single-celled organism to complex human beings over millions of years and many millions of generations. To me this is a contradiction. For evolution to occur, you need many generations. But then, how did reproduction evolve? Isn't the reproductive system quite complex? So if it takes reproduction to have evolution, how does reproduction itself evolve? Can reproduction evolve gradually over many generations?!?

I am sure this is a stupid question. I cannot even imagine how this could be resolved, but what does a rabbi know about evolution? I can only assume it has been explained by evolutionary scientists. If anyone knows the answer I would love to hear it.

Just as those who haven't studied science should not be surprised when they don't understand scientific theories, so too those who have not studied Torah should not dismiss it as irrational when they come up with questions. The seeming contradictions in the Torah have been known by its sages for millennia, and each one has been reconciled. With careful thought and detailed study, an appreciation for nuance and language, an understanding of context and style, every question has an answer.

Torah study does not ask a probing mind to stop questioning. On the contrary, it requires clear and critical thinking. And after three millennia of some of the world's sharpest minds pulling apart its every word, the Torah is still intact. And the Torah sages themselves encouraged scientific study. For when both Torah and science are studied deeply, both will lead to a better knowledge of G-d, the author of both.

If you have any questions about Nefesh Membership or the High Holydays services and venues please CLICK HERE FOR FAQ'S.

SERVICES AT NEFESH ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Friday Night

Candlelighting 5:14pm

Mincha 5:25pm

Shabbos Service 6:00pm followed by Kiddush sponsored by Gail and Danny Stein in honour of the birth of their son Toby Aryeh- Mazal Tov! and in honour of the Yartzheit of Jean Barlin's mother Faiga Bat Rivka- Long Life.

Shabbos Day

Class - The Spiritual Parsha 9am

Morning Service 10am -12:20pm followed by Kiddush sponsored in honour of the 5th birthday of Yosi Segre- Mazal Tov! and by Naomi Bentley on occasion of her birthday- Mazal Tov.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

I am currently 7 months pregnant, and a good friend's tombstone consecration is coming up next week. I am not sure whether or not to go. I have been told it is generally not the done thing in the Jewish religion to go to a cemetery when pregnant. On the other hand I do want to be there to honour my friend's memory. Would value your thoughts.

Answer:

This is the single most common question I am asked. Fascinatingly, though it is a widespread custom for a pregnant woman to avoid going to the cemetery, there is no written source in Jewish law that forbids it. This is an interesting example of a tradition that women took upon themselves without being told. And this tradition is carefully guarded and well known, even more than some outright laws. You will see why.

Jewish mothers have known for thousands of years what modern research is only recently discovering. The unborn child is impacted by the spiritual and emotional state of the mother. Her moods, her attitudes, and her surroundings are imprinted on the soul of the child.

This is why the cemetery is not the place for a pregnant woman. When you are creating life, it is better to avoid contact with death. An expecting mother is hosting life in the making, and so the morbid and deathly energy of a cemetery is too starkly contrasted to what is going on inside her. Her focus should remain on the beginning of life, not the end.

Furthermore, feelings of excessive grief or distress may disturb the otherwise peaceful time in the womb. Sometimes emotional pain is unavoidable in life, but we don't have to seek it out. An expecting mother is often fragile and delicate at the best of times. Attending a funeral or consecration may cause an exaggerated reaction which could have been avoided.

Since this is not a law but a custom, there are exceptions where a pregnant woman can go to a cemetery. If she feels that not going may itself cause even more distress, she should go. Some examples would be the funeral of a close friend or relative, or visiting the grave of a parent on the anniversary of their passing, or visiting the grave of a holy person to pray for a healthy birth.

In the end it is left to you to decide what is best. But if you choose not to go, you should not feel at all guilty. Your dear late friend will not be offended. In the world of souls they understand these things. And then in a couple of months, when you feel up to it, you could visit the cemetery yourself to pay your respects.

May G-d bless you with an easy birth and a healthy child, and only happy times.

If you have any questions about Nefesh Membership or the High Holydays services and venues please CLICK HERE FOR FAQ'S.

INTERNATIONAL GUEST SPEAKER THIS SHABBOS

We are very fortunate to have Rabbi Moshe and Mrs Miriam Moskovitz, pioneering leaders of the resurgence of Judaism in Ukraine, as guests in our shul this Shabbos. They will be sharing their inspirational stories with the community at a grand Kiddush and farbrengen after Shabbos morning services. All welcome, please join us!

Kiddush sponsored by Rev and Mrs Amzalak in honour of the forthcoming wedding of their granddaughter Ricky Amzalak to Mendy Gelman, and to congratulate their grandson Rabbi Mendel Moskovitz on receiving his semichah; and by Shevy Feiglin in honour of her birthday and wedding anniversary; and by an anonymous friend to say thanks to Hashem!

Mazel tov, mazel tov!

SERVICES AT NEFESH ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Friday Night

Candlelighting 5:09pm

Mincha 5:15pm

Shabbos Service 6:00pm followed by Kiddush sponsored by Rodney Plaut and Isabelle Soobben in honour of their engagement- Mazal Tov!, and by Graham Hesselberg and John Edmonds.

Shabbos Day

Class - The Spiritual Parsha 9am

Morning Service 10am -12:20pm followed by extended Kiddush and farbrengen (see above)

I have a problem with organised religion. Light candles, go to shul, eat this, don't eat that etc etc. What sort of G-d demands these things from us? Surely we can find our own path to G-d within ourselves without being told what to do. Why does it make someone better or worse by just following instructions? It all seems crazy to me...

Answer:

I was recently addressing a group of women, discussing the topic of relationships. I told them that they should not be ashamed to tell their husbands exactly what makes them happy. Don't leave the guys guessing. If you do, they will never get it right.

A man cannot read a woman's mind. Even if he loves you deeply and is devoted to you with all his being, he needs to be told what you like. Women would prefer men to just take the initiative and do things spontaneously without being asked. But if you leave it up to him, he will do what he thinks a woman wants. And a man's view of what women want, without female input, is clouded by male thinking.

One woman said, "But my husband does do things for me without me asking, and he knows exactly what I want..."

I responded, "Your husband is a very kind man. But he only knows what you want because you have told him at some stage. Left to his own devices, he would give you many things and do many favours for you, but not necessarily what you wanted. Think back to the early stages of your marriage, before he learnt what makes you happy. Like the time he kindly put the washing away, not realizing the importance of folding the clothes before stuffing them into the drawers. And what about that surprise birthday gift he bought you. As sweet and unexpected as it was, a pet rodent was not really an ideal present."

She agreed.

If a man cannot read the mind of a woman, certainly a human being cannot read the mind of G-d. Unless we are told exactly what G-d wants from us, we are clueless. That is why we have mitzvos. A mitzvah is a command, a clear and direct instruction from G-d as to what He wants us to do and not do. Without it, our attempts to connect to G-d may be sincere and pure, but they don't reach beyond the limits of human experience. We are doing what we think G-d wants, and that is something we have no idea about.

When we do a mitzvah, no matter how small it seems in our eyes, we are doing what He asked us to do, and we are connecting to Him. A pet rodent is a lovely gesture, but a mitzvah is all He really wants from us.

Nefesh is offering the chance for new members to sign up this week. If you are interested in becoming a member and booking a seat for High Holydays, please email office@nefesh.com.au for an application form.

If you are a current member and didn't receive your renewal form via email, please email the office to receive it.

SERVICES AT NEFESH ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Friday Night

Candlelighting 5:04pm

Mincha 5:15pm

Shabbos Service 6:00pm

Shabbos Day

Class - The Spiritual Parsha 9am

Morning Service 10am -12:20pm followed by Kiddush sponsored by Friends of Nefesh

Thursday, August 2, 2012

DONATE A MACHZOR (high holiday prayer book) in memory of a loved one or in honour of a special person or event. CLICK HERE

SEATS FOR HIGH HOLYDAYS see below

Is It Cool to be Married?

Click here or on image above for a 3 minute animated discussion on marriage in modern culture

In honour of the Jewish Festival of Romance, Tu B'av

In ancient Israel, it was the custom that on the 15th of the month of Av (corresponding this year to Friday August 3rd) the young maidens of Jerusalem would go out and dance in the vineyards wearing borrowed linen garments (so as not to embarrass those without beautiful clothes of their own), and single men would go there to find a bride.

Talmud, Taanis 31a

May the energy of the day help those who are looking for their soulmate to find them, and those who have already found their soulmate to appreciate them.

Nefesh is offering the chance for new members to sign up this week. If you are interested in becoming a member and booking a seat for High Holydays, please email office@nefesh.com.au for an application form.

LAST CHANCE BOOKINGS CLOSE

NETWORK AND NEFESH FRIDAY NIGHT DINNER

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SERVICES AT NEFESH ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Friday Night

Candlelighting 4:59pm

Mincha 5:10pm

Shabbos Service 6:00pm followed by Kiddush sponsored by Nick Levy in honour of his grandfather Don Levy's birthday - Mazal Tov!