The first time I saw Jackie naked was the first time I saw Jackie. It was a Friday night at New Haven’s Catwalk Club, and she had taken the stage just as my male escorts and I sat down in some straight-backed chairs off to the side. She immediately ditched her tiny plaid skirt and »

I mean, a B+ is pretty good. I went to lecture, like, twice all semester. I’ve really learned to appreciate new lifestyles. Guys, you don’t need to fast-forward through Jack-drawing-Rose-reclining-on-an-opulent-turn-of-the-century-sofa anymore. After all those naked parties, this stuff is like second nature. Animals (and gluten) have rights, too! You made my favorite baked macaroni and »

Getting caught with your hand in the entryway condom bag. It’s not worth getting them for free. Going to Toad’s for the first time. Well, and every time after that. Opening the gates the wrong way. Somebody’s behind you, and you can’t tell whether to push or pull. Your expensive private-school education never prepared you »

1. “What should I do with my life?!“ It was worth a shot. 2. “iPhone how to get notes to stop emailing your Gmail” We just switched from BlackBerry and can’t figure out how this thing works. Every time we edit one of our notes, it emails our Gmail accounts, and it’s REALLY annoying. 3. »

1. Speaking in a foreign language while intoxicated: Practice makes perfect when you’re trying to learn another language, and the confidence granted by a couple of drinks eliminates the shyness you feel in French class. Look at it as an opportunity to broaden your vocabulary beyond the lyrics to “Lady Marmalade.” 2. Harry Potter references: »

Matthew Artimez is an admissions officer’s dream. In addition to earning excellent grades throughout his years at John Marshall High School in Glen Dale, West Virginia, Artimez is the captain of his school’s soccer team, a member of the swim team, and a lifeguard. He referees youth soccer and participates in a math and science »