How to Survive a Sex Party in Berlin

Berlin has earned a reputation for hosting the most wild, perverse and controversial parties, more bizarre and fetish-infused than in any other city in the world. We’ve come up with some tips to help you survive dipping your toe into the city’s underground sex party scene.

It goes without saying that underground sex clubs are not everybody’s thing, but if you really want to experience the depths of Berlin’s underground culture, you should give it a go, at least once. Sex on the dance floor, and the hedonistic debauchery that transpires in clubs that can stay open for three days straight, is all part of the anti-authoritarian freedom that thrives in Berlin.

Before you go, there are a few unofficial ground rules that might help to prepare you for a night like you’ve experienced never before; where sex, art, immersive theatre and mayhem meet.

Always keep in mind that you don’t have to participate in anything if you don’t want to. It’s going to get pretty strange in there, but there’s never any pressure to go beyond the boundaries of what you’re comfortable with. So lift your jaw off the floor and look the other way if you have to, but save your judgments for a different, non-hyper-sexualised reality.

Dress code is important and Berlin’s strict door policies are legendary. Show your skin, leave your pants at the door, glitter, sparkle, shine and get weird, get laced up and tied up, find your fetish, be a unicorn or whatever you have to be to extinguish any signs of conformity. Think of it as a stage to explore your deepest fantasies. Who knows, you might even discover your own sexual liberation. Don’t be nervous, you’ve chosen to be there, so if you feel like it, go for it.

Such reckless abandon and unprecedented nudity might be strange or intimidating at first, but grab a drink and slowly ease into it! Try wearing some kind of costume that helps you get out of your usual self and into character, or a disguise that helps you feel more protected.

While appropriate dress is always inappropriate, your behaviour – especially towards the freedom and safety of others – should not be. For all the hysteria, the one thing that allows these parties to thrive is the unwavering rule of consent that ensures everyone’s boundaries are respected. In fact you may well find that people in sex clubs are more considerate than some you encounter in regular clubs.

This is not a place to be groped and grabbed freely (unless of course that’s on your list of desires). This means keeping your hands to yourself unless clearly given the signal to do otherwise. Failure to comply will see you kicked out of the door, and the carnival will rage on without you.

Whether crossing into hedonism at Berghain, or raving at a fetish-specific party at the KitKatClub, it always helps to do your research on where you’re going. Don’t just rock up without checking what kind of party is happening on a particular night!

Now for the rule of common sense, don’t drink too much or overdo the drugs. That way you will be in control of your desires, and there will be zero chance of you doing something that you might regret later. Make sure you are coherent enough to maintain your own boundaries and make your own decisions. Respect yourself and everyone around you.