Thursday, January 18, 2007

Reed Krakoff Double Whammy (City)

SELLER: Reed KrakoffLOCATION: East 61st Street, NYCPRICE: $14,995,000 (list)SIZE: 5+ floors, 4 bedrooms, 3 full and 3 half bathroomsDESCRIPTION: (considerably reduced from listing agent's website) The splendid building was just gut renovated and entirely rebuilt by C-Square under the close supervision of the present owners. It contains several stunning features: a double height living room with a 26' wall of glass over a planted garden, an exquisite master floor, a second master with a terrace over the garden, and a top floor loft space flooded with with light. An elevator serves all five levels.

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Okay children, settle down, Your Mama is going to tell y'all who this Reed Krakoff is and how it is he has so much scratch he is able to live in such tasteful and expensive opulence. This man is the "Divisional President" of Coach. We don't know what a Divisional President does either, so don't be emailing and asking us about that shit. This man previously did stints over at Tommy Hilfiger and Polo/Ralph Lauren but ultimately, this is just one of several houses all your medium priced handbags and wallets bought.

In his capacity as king of the leather carryall, Mr. Krakoff earns enough of the green stuff to make all your heads spin right off your bodies. Are you sitting down? According to Forbes, $26,183,375 in salary, bonus, and exercised stock options was deposited into Mr. Krakoff's bank accounts in the fiscal 2006 year. And puppies, this does not even include the $24,361,284 in un-exercised stock options he also received.

It was widely reported in the New York papers and publications that last September Mr. Krakoff and his interior designer wife Delphine purchased another townhouse over on East 70th Street for $17,000,000. This is the same fancy pants block that Mr. Woody Allen and his much younger wife/daughter/whatever currently live in their $25,900,000 townhouse.

So up for sale goes this palace of pulchritude. According to the listing, "an army of French craftsman" carved, fabricated, and worked over this townhouse to within an inch of it's life. The results have been lauded, cheered, and swooned over in peacocky publications like Vogue and House & Garden.

Your Mama rarely comes across a property we'd move into lock stock and barrel. But babies, even though we're not Upper East Side types, we'd pack up our Chelsea duplex and haul it uptown quicker than Jack the Ripper could slit a throat.

The listing states the parquet floors on the first and second floors are Louis XVI and were imported from France. Hunnies, you know it takes some serious effort and cabbage to haul parquet floors across the Atlantic. We're adoring the excessively high ceiling in the living room and that wall of ivy in the back courtyard has us peeing our pants. We're a little curious about the choice for such a petit dining room in such a large house, but as we've mentioned in a previous post, Your Mama actually likes to take our meals in smallish rooms, so it's just fine by us.

Up a floor in the elevator to the second level is a library/loft area leading to a quiet study facing the street. The master suite occupies the entire sweep of the third level. In the en suite, a delicious Louis XVI fireplace, one of nine in the house, is flanked by twin vanities.

On the fourth level, family bedrooms include a large suite with dressing room and en suite, as well as two smaller bedrooms and another bath. No doubt the Krakoff's housed their trio of progeny on this level. While it would work for us because we've only got our two little bitches Linda and Beverly to shelter, we imagine the Krakoffs were looking for a little more square footage for their multiple kiddies in their new townhouse.

Up one more level and the Krakoffs have designed an all-white aerie that is causing Your Mamas pits to sweat and heart to skip a beat or two. We know all that white furniture is totally impractical and impossible to keep clean. And we understand some people find white walls to be stark and unfriendly. But not Your Mama. We're happy to ride on that cloud of plain and peace, thank you very much.

The Krakoff clan is also selling their Bridgehampton beach house. Stay tuned now because we'll be bringing you the 411 on that property in our next post so all you children out there can see how the New York leisure class summers.