Wandering the double mazes of infertility and living in a foreign culture.

Monday, 4 July 2011

2WW 3dp3dt

It's hit me this morning... the negativity. I was doing my usual round of ALI blogs as I do most mornings and read someone's 26 week update. Then I had a bad FB moment with a friend's newborn pics (which I hid).

I'm having trouble sleeping properly, and am getting up to pee all the time, which isn't helping my mood. Also my work schedule has suddenly changed and two mornings a week I'm going to have to get up at 5.30! For the next six weeks. I am so angry about it but there is nothing I can do. But I'm really worried that being really tired is going to affect the cycle negatively. I'm going to try to take it really easy on the days when I don't have to get up early, but then I just have too much time to obsess about things.

My dh and I have been discussing whether we want to move apartments in August, when our contract ends on our apartment now. Not sure I can handle a move to be honest.

I've also been thinking about our 3 freezies. If it come to FET, I'm thinking about doing eSET (if my doc will agree). It's very common in Europe, and doesn't actually significantly decrease the chances of implantation. Also, it would mean we would get 3 more shots instead of probably 1 (though I know it's more complicated than that as it depends on whether the embies survive the thaw etc etc). It would also mean we wouldn't have to do another fresh cycle for a while.

I know I should be more positive, but planning for the next step is how I deal with the massive disappointments that come with IF. I also keep going back and forth on whether I think 30% means we're in with a chance on this cycle, or not. If there was a 30% chance of rain, I would take an umbrella, wouldn't I?

3 comments:

Hi there.. hope the negativity isn't getting the better of you - I just know how easily that can happen, particularly when you're tired. But I also deal with things by anticipating and planning for the worst, so I totally get that approach.

Crappy work schedule, but don't worry about it affecting your cycle.. the embies are in their own little world right now (as weird as that sounds) and there's not much you can do that will affect them :) Presuming you're not mainlining hardcore drugs?..