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Tuesday, January 21, 2014

The Little Kumquat

I look forward to the day to where I like food again.Despite my petite size I have always been
rather fond of food.But since the Flu
of Last Week nothing sounds good.In
fact everything sounds gross.Any
thought of food makes my stomach get tight and the gagging begins.

I eat…barely.And I
feel horrible for this tiny baby girl relying on me for her nutrients.Nutrients I so desperately want to give her
as I force feed myself small bits of things and hope I can keep it down despite
the massive gagging that nearly always follows.

Working right now is the worst.All I want to do is curl up in bed in sleep
since my body is so deprived of food and energy, but that won’t do any
good.So I go to work.Exhausted, nauseous, achy, and starving and
unable to eat.

Fabulous.

Is it worth it? I ask myself that daily…multiple times a
day.

Then I see her.I
watch her little arms and legs squirm and wave.I listen to her heartbeat and an overwhelming joy touches me to my core.

She is SO very worth it.She gets a chance at life with a family that has been longing for her
for so long.I’d feel miserable for
years to know that this baby is alive and well and growing.

So little one, suck up every last bit of energy I have
because you are worth it.I’ll get over
it eventually.

I had my last ultrasound and appointment today with the
fertility doctor.I’ll miss the Dr. and
Nurses…they are wonderful.

I got a DVD of her moving around, but sadly I have no way to
get it to you guys so you’ll have to just accept this picture instead.

10 weeks, 2 days.The
size of a kumquat (who even knows what size a kumquat is??? I mean really…who
eats kumquats regularly enough to be like, “oh I know what size that is?)

Here is what babycenter.com say about the baby this week:

“If you could take a peek inside your womb, you'd spot
minute details, like tiny nails forming on fingers and toes (no more webbing)
and peach-fuzz hair beginning to grow on tender skin.

In other developments: Your baby's limbs can bend now. His
hands are flexed at the wrist and meet over his heart, and his feet may be long
enough to meet in front of his body. The outline of his spine is clearly
visible through translucent skin, and spinal nerves are beginning to stretch
out from his spinal cord.”