I hate this month. I'll lay it right there, O Best Beloved, I hate this month. I hate Q3 call where I'm in-house for 24 hours and most of the time spending 22 of those 24 hours running. I hate the uncertainty and I hate the fear that comes with being tired and unsure. I have the nicest doctor in the whole world for a proctor today, and I hope that I will prove to him that I am not incompetent. Perhaps that will take away some of the fatigue.

It wears on you, Q3 does. It eats slowly away at your reserves, and no matter how much sleep you get it isn't enough and yet it's too much; the days are gone and glittering away before they begin. This is Monday. It will be nothing, sleep, no more. Tuesday will be in clinic. Wednesday will be spent here. Thursday will disappear into the ether. Friday is my day off. Saturday here, Sunday gone, Monday clinic, Tuesday here, Wednesday as soon as I leave I'm going to Kansas City. And that's it. At least next month will be easier.

Two vag deliveries, one circ, and an adrenaline rush when we realized just how preeclamptic the patient I was admitting really was. I need to sleep now, or I would tell you about it. My reserves are running low.

I hope this month goes quickly for you, I know how stressful that kind of shift must be. I still don't understand the logic of making you guys work shifts like that but maybe they know something I don't.

I'm almost two years out from medical school, here in Indiana where I was born and grew up. I used to write poetry - still do, sometimes - but now I've taken to spilling my heart out in prose. I'm balancing family, expecting a new baby, and working as a second-year family medicine resident. I'd like to take you along for the ride.

My updates are erratic, dependent on my mood, my current work schedule, and my ability to motivate myself. You are warned.

Expect a narrative of my days on shift. Anticipate good experiences and bad. Almost everything I write, personal or not, is a public entry, so be prepared for things that you don't quite understand.

There is a list of those who really do want to know more about me than the general public desires to see. Flip down to "spin a web" and click the link there to get in on that list.