'Broad City's Ilana Glazer Earns Critics' Choice Nod but They Missed the Real Star of the Show

On Wednesday morning, the 2014 Critics' Choice Television Award nominations were officially announced, and overall, there were few surprises: Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones, True Detective, and The Good Wife were all appropriately doted upon, etc. Still, the list did include some promising young hopefuls, the most notable — and fist-pump-inducing — being two nominations for the Internet's favorite breakout comedy, Broad City: Best Comedy Series and Best Actress in a Comedy Series for its co-creator / co-star Ilana Glazer.

While this is undeniably awesome news, because the show is fantastic and deserves every accolade and then some, it's hard not to feel like the duo's other half, Abbi Jacobson, got a little shafted. Sure, True Detective suffered the same star-split treatment, with a nomination for Matthew McConaughey (will the McConnaissance never end?!) but not his partner Woody Harrelson; choosing two lead actors from any single series would likely be unprecedented, if not extravagant. Still, the subtle favoring of Ilana over Abbi has become somewhat of a trend across the blogosphere, too — and a bummer of one at that.

Perhaps this skew is due to the fact that, on the show, Jacobson plays the proverbial straight man, a role traditionally given less comedic credit for an often tougher gig. As the fast-talking, crop-top-sporting wild child of the duo, Glazer is usually afforded the more quotable lines and goofier scenarios (and slays them, of course) — see: her grooving freehand in the back of an in-motion U-Haul, while Abbi stays bungee-corded, Odysseus-style, to the side.

And still, Jacobson deserves some serious props for her character, if not more, says I. Because while Ilana is who we hope we might be on our most adventurous (or, um, otherwise medicated) days, Abbi is who we probably are today, or were last week when we wore our bathing suit as underwear and walked 30 blocks rather than shell out for the subway. (Or was that just me? Anyone?)

So, with that in mind, here's a brief list-ode to but a few of the many shining moments of Abbi Jacobson, both in-show and out. Because she rocks.

1. She knows Parkour.

Or, at least, she can approximate it gloriously. Really, her physical comedy is crazy on point — see also: that sly hyper-stoned roll-out from Linton's waiting room.

2. She understands the importance of fine print.

Looking good on a budget never, well, looked so good.

3. In which she sums up my entire relationship to my kitchen.

"Egg with spice" is a delicacy in our household.

4. She rides the hell out of her bike, dress be damned.

Looking like a goddamn warrior princess. I feel like this picture sums up my immortal soul.

5. Meanwhile, real-life Abbi gets stoned like a pro.

Doug Benson on YouTube

If you aren't already a fan of Getting Doug With High, it's time to become one: This web show, hosted by Doug Benson, is essentially your favorite comedians, actors, and musicians getting stoned and chatting. Never will you be closer to having the Workaholics dudes in your living room. Anyhow, while Abbi's Broad City character sets off smoke alarms and punches cardboard cut-outs when chemically altered, IRL Jacobson holds her own and then some, recounting several choice anecdotes, drug-related and otherwise. Set aside 45 minutes someday; it's well worth a watch.

6. Plus, her Interview Answers Just Rule.

In an interview with Bustle (wut wut, *shoulder brush, shoulder brush*), when asked about her and Glazer being labeled "the next Tina Fey and Amy Poehler," Jacobson gave the ideal response, highlighting the ever-pervasive Highlander approach that people tend to take toward women in any given industry (i.e., "There can only be one...!"). And I quote:

I don’t think we need to be the ‘next’ anything. It’s insane to be in the same sentence as them, as they’re obviously two of the smartest, most hilarious comedians of all time, but we’re Abbi and Ilana. People love to compare and come up with the next so and so, [but] there can be more than two women in comedy — in fact there are many, many, many more!

7. ... And are also hilarious.

Of course, I'd be remiss if I didn't point out my favorite answer of that interview — or really any interview that goes the "Marry, fuck, or kill" route. Asked to choose between Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, and Janeane Garofalo, Jacobson responded, “Cannot answer as I’ve already fucked all three.”

8. Three Words: Missy Elliott Suit.

Comedy Central on YouTube

Need I say more? In short, Abbi Jacobson is freakin' awesome, as if you didn't already know.

Meanwhile, major props to both Broad City ladies for the nominations! Well deserved — and we're eagerly looking forward to a season of pu$$y weed and punted rotisserie chickens to come.