the raindrops of life… some warm, some storm

Big ticket worries

When it comes to worries, I’ve noticed lately a bit of a shift.

I’ve started worrying less over the day to day provision… even if it’s meant way more meals of spaghetti, and mac and cheese, and grilled cheese, and scrambled eggs…. and anything else extremely cheap than I would like.

And I’m getting over worrying as much about the month to month provision… though sometimes how the bills are going to get paid is still a question, I have at least some small degree of confidence that either they will or we will make due without.

But now there’s sort of a shift towards the big ticket provision.

Up to this point, there have been a lot of things that have only been minor repair worries. But now, as I’m getting closer to 2 1/2 years with no real flexible income, it’s sort of becoming more of a worry.

Especially with the prospect of it being 3 more years before stable income happens.

I’m thrown enough of a loop with having to replace a tire. But do I trust my car to reliably last 3 more years without major repairs?
On a 11 year old car with over 100k miles? No… I’ve got enough common sense to know that things will go wrong in that time.
Do I have any idea how I’d pull off paying to fix them? Not a clue.
Do I trust that transportation will be taken care of? I know that I should… but its still on the worry list.

My computer is another one. It’s 4 years old now. I’ve gotten through the past few years with only one repair that was something simple enough I could do it myself, even with as big of a pain as macbooks can be to take apart.
Do I trust it to make it to 3 more years? NO way!
Seriously, I had trouble juggling even to replace the cord when it went out recently… and I know from the display acting a bit goofy that there’s another repair in the near future that is hugely costly in the shop… but one of the pretty high difficulty level ones to fix on my own.
Could I make it through 2 more years of classes without having a computer for internet access and typing papers? Well, I was a bit amazed how much I actually could do on my phone when I had to… but it’s still a really big stretch with some classes.

It’s just so much easier to trust that spaghetti will turn up than it is to trust that a computer or a car repair will.