Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Every year at this time of year it is a very difficult time. You see, my birthday is in just over a month. (May 27) This is, of course, a happy time but it's also very difficult. You see, there are those that would say that I'm difficult to purchase presents for. This is probably due to the fact that whenever I want something I buy it (obviously within reason, but someday I'll be wealthy enought to abandon reason.) This leaves me in a position where if I really want something then I have already bought it.

So, 4 or 5 years ago I came up with a brilliant plan to serve those who want to buy me birthday presents. (For the record, this plan also happens around Christmas time.) The plan is what I call the purchase freeze. It means I am not allowed to buy anything for myself for a month or two. Also, when I go into this mode I make sure that my amazon wishlist is up to date. In this way, I can fully support anyone who would desire to get me any sort of gift.

For those of you who are scoffing at the idea that I need to go into a special mode, and especially for those that are looking down on me for the fact that I'm writing a blog about my own birthday and my own presents I want you to know how difficult it has been historically to refrain from buying things during this time. It's significantly easier now that I'm married since we've put ourselves on a stricter budget, especially since I can now just tell Robyn anything I really want. But I want you all to know that I go to great sacrifice to allow you to have plenty of options in what you can buy me.

At any rate, I just wanted to announce that I am officially in purchase freeze mode and my amazon wish list is fully up to date. Also, I have setup my amazon wish list so that it doesn't tell me what people have bought from it during this time as well. You are now fully empowered to buy me birthday presents, early Christmas presents or happy Thursday presents.

Friday, April 17, 2009

So a few weeks back Megan wrote a blog post about all the words/phrases that Shakespeare added to our language. This got me thinking about words, I remember reading that Isaac Asimov coined the word positronic and the phrase "positronic brain" which is used in all sorts of science fiction. I started thinking, "what words have I contributed to the English Language?" We may not have created as many as Shakespeare but I thought I should share the ones that Robyn and I have created.

Moniversary - This is the first one that came to mind. I have been writing my Moniversary series and I was pretty sure I came up with the term on my First Moniversary post. For the record, the definition is the day on a monthly basis that commemorates an event. Much like an anniversary, only every month instead of every year. Well, it turns out I wasn't the first to use this term. It is found in the Urban dictionary.

Guracious - This one is totally mine. I even googled it to be sure. Nearly every page that comes up is in another language. That means I coined it in English. What does it mean? It's original meaning is "of or like a guru" but it's usage has come to mean something like "cool" or "awesome." You can also talk about someone's guracity, which would be how guracious they are.

Furfy - This is a Robyn original. It means "messed up" or "incorrect." A common usage is when she will say, "My hair is furfy."

Woofy - This is another Robyn original. To be honest, I'm not sure exactly what it means. I think it means "heavy and soft." Because she uses it to refer to her "woofy blanket" which is both heavy and soft.

So, as you can see, Robyn and I have not yet reached shakespearean levels but we are well on our way. I will keep you all updated as we continue to expand the english language.

Robyn stole my toothbrush One night I came into the bathroom to brush my teeth. Since we now have the Sonicare toothbrushes, our toothbrushes look exactly the same except that we have labeled them. Well, she was using mine. I picked up hers and said, "If you liked mine better you could have chosen it from the beginning."

See's CandySo Robyn's parents had given us a certificate for a half pound of See's Chocolates. Robyn went and picked them up. However, when she got them we opened it up and she told me which ones I was allowed to have by saying such things as: "You can have that one, it's not very good." Thanks, I clearly didn't want anything good.

The Exploding OvenA few months back the broiler element in our oven died. We bought a new one and put it in. This time the bake element died. I unplugged the overn and I pulled it out and examined it so that I could make sure I was buying the right one. After doing that I plugged the oven back in (because the stove still works) and I decided to store the element in the bottom of the oven. The problem with that was that when I closed the oven it pushed the element against the wires that were formerly attached to the aforementioned element. This cause some sort of a short circuit that generated a great flash of light. Unbeknownst to me it caused the rest of the house to lose light for a few seconds. Robyn came running in to the kitchen to see what happened. We discussed it and decided to just get a new oven.

St. Patrick's DayI thought she had forgotten that it was St. Patricks Day. But she made some delicious green potatoes.

Won WonWe have these friends, Natalie and Ron. I've been friends with Natalie for several years and I've been friends with Ron since he started dating Natalie. (They've been married a little over a year.) We had planned to hang out with Natalie and Ron on a weekend. Robyn and I were talking about something and she said something about Won Won. I told her that we were going to get to see Won Won (that's my nickname for Ron, I got it from Harry Potter) Robyn started getting super excited about that. I was excited to see Ron, but I was a little jealous about how excited Robyn was getting. After discussing it a little more I discovered she thought I was referring to the next Harry Potter movie coming out where we'll get to see Won Won. I felt much better about that.

Friday, April 3, 2009

I know the title of this post is a little dramatic. You're probably wondering what kind of suffering I could be experiencing that is coming to an end. Well, you see I've had a terrible problem for quite some time. This problem is that I've never been to Hawaii. In case you think that's not that bad, you need to realize that everyone in my life goes to Hawaii without me. For your judgment I present the following as my case:Exhibit A

This is my friend Laura, if you look at the picture you'll notice my friend Laura, you'll notice the ocean in Hawaii, but you'll notice a distinct lack of me.

Exhibit B My BFMMFF (Best Friend with the Most Mutual Facebook Friends) is depicted here enjoying the plantlife in good ol' Hawaii. It's hard to pick it out but if you look closely you can see I'm not there.

Exhibit C This is Tracy at Secret Beach on Kauai. Well, I'm sure you've already guessed but it's no secret that I wasn't there.

Exhibit D Here is Robyn. Even she went to Hawaii without me. She was gone the same time as Tracy last year(shown above.) This is her floating in the serene ocean. There's a whole great big ocean and I'm not anywhere in it.

As you can see, this has been a problem for a long time. Many people have seen fit to be in Hawaii without me. Well, Robyn has seen fit to make up for her crime by going to Hawaii with me this time. Yup, we booked our plane tickets and we have the place we're staying. We're gonna be gone June 23rd-July 1st. The only other person who has really paid for their crime was Jared when he broke his neck in Hawaii. I think Robyn's choice of how to pay for her crime was a better one, Jared's fine now so I suppose his choice wasn't all bad.
Well, the good news is that this time I will not be left all alone. Last year while Robyn was in Hawaii I had to find comfort somewhere and I was reduced to this: