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July 29, 2008

Sexual attitudes in Ireland are changing with the times. It seems the old "Catholic Guilt" may be truly on its way out in Ireland, but not without protests. The Crisis Pregnancy Agency (CPA) found that the vast majority of young Irish adults (aged 18 -25) are now sexually active. The problem is that these young people are taking risks having unprotected sex. The age of first sexual intercourse in Ireland is dropping, and people in that young group were less likely to use contraception compared to other age groups. The main reasons given for non-use were the sex was unplanned or that they had been drinking or taking drugs. Abortion rates for 20 – 24 year olds are higher than rates for any other age group.

The CPA found that nearly ¼ of survey participants felt that "if a woman carried condoms while not in a relationship, it gives the impression that she is 'looking for sex'." CPS chairperson Olive Braiden said that fear of being labeled promiscuous is leading Irish women "to risk unplanned pregnancy rather than protect themselves." Young people should be encouraged to use condoms and other forms of contraception to prevent pregnancy and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases. Being sexually active need not be stigmatized. Women who enjoy sexual activity can be encouraged to explore their sexuality and to enjoy using contraception. Just because a young woman enjoys sex doesn't mean that she should be slut-shamed.

Irish attitudes about homosexuality are also becoming more liberal. An opinion poll by Lansdowne Market Research Limited found that 84% of Irish support legal recognition for same sex marriages. Paula Williams, producer of the Irish documentary "Sex and Sensibility", said that "Irish attitudes to sex have changed substantially over the years." In the '70s and '80s, there were widespread campaigns for contraception to be legalized. Ireland's first sex shoppe opened in the '80s and '90s, a little bit of a late-comer but welcome no less.

Not all attitudes about sex are as liberal as these, though. A small porn cinema that opened behind a sex shoppe called Jade Winters has been under fire and demands have been made to close it down. This sex shoppe received media coverage, but the shoppe itself seems rather small and non-threatening. A few years ago, there were protests outside an adult shoppe that had opened, but this new one did not garner such protests. This shoppe seemed focus on stag and hen nights, with a small rack of videos and magazines, along with a few novelty condoms for sale.

In the late 19th and early 20th century, Dublin's Mondo district was reputed to be the largest red light district in Europe. By the 1920s, Mondo had closed down due to the work of religious groups in the area. Organized prostitution returned to Ireland in the 1970s. While street prostitution had continued all this time, women began to work out of houses or flats in the cities or new 'mobile brothel' vans that toured the countryside. Street prostitutes had drug problems not as common with housed prostitutes. Irish society seemed accepting of discreet indoor prostitution. While advertising in newspapers was illegal, the Internet helped to give rise to organized indoor prostitution as it exists in Ireland today.

Prostitution in Ireland may be found in brothels and clubs, marketing themselves as escort services. Prostitution itself isn't an offence under Irish law. However, solicitation in a street or public place is prohibited, and this offense applies to both the prostitute and the client. While advertising brothel services in the newspaper is illegal, brothels and escort services operate on the Internet, where they find many men who are looking for women who provide sexual and companion services. The Country Report Of Ireland estimates that between one hundred and six hundred women work as prostitutes in Dublin.

According to Ruhama, an Irish organization that helps women in prostitution and sees prostitution as a crime against women, "prostitution is increasingly becoming normalized as a personal choice, and thus a private matter between consenting adults. It is clear that prostitution is increasingly being seen as legitimate sex work. Kesler (2002) argues that prostitution serves men's sexual needs and meets women's economic ones. There can also be an assumption that prostitution is inevitable and that men are somehow "naturally" inclined to use women for sex. The purchasers of sex do not generate the same attention as the women themselves. Research attention has, in the main, focused on women, with their involvement in prostitution considered problematic, while the actual seeking out, and the buying of sex, has been treated as a normal aspect of male behavior."

Prostitution has been criticized for the presence of violence against women. According to Ruhama, 93% of women in a 1993 sample experienced some form of sexual assault. Rape and coerced sexual activity were also serious problems for the women. Another negative for women who work as prostitutes is that they need access to a place to go to and "just be", a place where "they don't need to explain, to lie, to hide, and where they will be seen and accepted as the whole person and not just 'the prostitute'."

Not all Irish hold such a dim view of escort services and prostitution. One escort service available in Ireland is EscortIreland.ie, the first Irish escort advertising site to secure a dot ie domain. This site has message boards and chat rooms. EscortIreland.ie offers a wide selection of women to choose from. This site has Irish and European escorts that speak a wide variety of languages, as well as touring escorts in Ireland and Irish independent escorts. You may choose the type of woman that appeals to you at EscortIreland.ie. Another Irish escort service is Cork Dreamgirls. You may choose busty escorts, or Asian, East European, transvestite, transsexual, blondes, or brunettes, to name a few types that are available. Other types available include gay, bi, male, fetish/BDSM, couples/duos, agency girls, and independent.

Adult businesses in Ireland are not limited to escort agencies. Sex toys shoppes are not commonplace in Ireland, but a few good ones do exist. One is AdultStore.ie, which specializes in sex toys and adult DVDs. This store has a wide selection of products to please any man or woman. It carries clit teasers, fingertip massagers, eggs and rings, and even nipple clamps. Choose a popular hands-free butterfly clit vibrator for yourself or as a gift for someone you love.

This site has fewer products than what I'm used to seeing, but it has a nice selection of sex toys. There are rabbit vibrators, which are very popular around the world, and G-spot vibrators. Are you in the mood for a little fun in your tub? Choose one of AdultStoreIe's waterproof vibrators! If you are a lesbian couple looking for a dildo harness, AdultStoreIe carries one.

Guys, if you want a masturbator, dildo, or penis pump, look no further. You're in the right place. There are plenty of sex toys for men. There are both male and female sex dolls, so you may choose what suits you.

Looking for fantasy costumes? Choose a nurse, French maid, or even a sexy pirate uniform! Would you like to buy her a pretty set of lingerie? You have several to choose from, including a basque, chain bra, and a floral teddy and stockings.

You even get a free adult DVD when you spend €150 or more!

AdultStoreIe promises safe, secure, and discreet delivery to your door so that no nosy neighbors pry into your business. This store would be welcome in the UK, since UK law prohibits the sale of adult DVDs online within the UK. Since AdultStore.ie is not in the UK, this store can ship your DVDs to you in a way that won't invite prying eyes. While the store does not offer as many products as online stores I've seen elsewhere, it's off to a good start with some high quality products available at very reasonable prices. Give AdultStoreIe a look-see, and you'll like what you find.

Irish attitudes about sex and prostitution may seem less liberal than other countries, but those attitudes are changing. Adult stores in Ireland may offer fewer products than other countries, but these stores are opening and remaining open. Escort services are becoming more popular, especially in Dublin. While some Irish are accepting of these escort services, there are also protests against them. As Irish attitudes about sex change, there will be more adult shoppes and escort services available to suit the people who wish to use them.

June 11, 2008

Susannah Breslin at Salon interviewed sex writers, and asked their opinions on "Sex and the City", both the TV show and the movie. The sex writers interviewed are Lena Chen, Tracie Egan, Jamye Waxman, Rachel Kramer Bussel, and Susie Bright. All were critical of the TV show and movie except for Waxman. I agree with the nay-sayers.

Here is some of what Bright had to say, and I agree with her wholeheartedly.

The women of "Sex and the City," asserts Bright, aren't political. "They're desperate to get married. They obsess about their marital status." And they turned the sexual revolution for women of the new millennium into a business. To make her point, Bright references a recent New Yorker essay, "The Fall of Conservatism" by George Packer, in which Pat Buchanan paraphrased social theorist Eric Hoffer: "Every great cause begins as a movement, becomes a business, and eventually degenerates into a racket." Comments Bright: "'Sex and the City' is the racket part of what once was recognizable as the sexual self-emancipation of the feminist movement." For her, the commodification of the 21st century female sexual revolution hits too close to home. "I can't watch these women, you know, make asses of themselves and be so petty and small-minded about sexual possibility. I take it too personally."

June 10, 2008

The Count told me about Greta Christina's Blog a few weeks ago, and I just started reading it regularly this week. He in particular directed me to her post grousing about the "Sex and the City" movie, and I must say I agree with everything she wrote.

I saw some episodes a few years ago, but the show did nothing for me. I have not yet seen the movie. I'm waiting for it to come out on DVD. I'm talking today about the TV show.

I certainly didn't see Carrie Bradshaw and her unmarried, whining friends as the Be All And End All of American Progressive Sexual Mores. While the show became famous in part for introducing the Rabbit Pearl Vibrator to American women, I found the Rabbit while watching the movie "Better Than Chocolate". That movie was much better, more realistic, and much more progressive than anything I saw on "Sex and the City".

I read the book when I started writing my sex column for nuts4chic. My editor wanted me to write something akin to Carrie Bradshaw's column. I did like the book. It had bite that was conspicuously missing from the TV show. It reminded me in many ways of Olivia Goldsmith's biting satire about relationships, most notably present in her book "The First Wives Club". The movie had toned down her bite and made the women a bit on the fluffy side. I saw the same thing happen in the TV show "Sex and the City". While the book was a biting satire about modern career women, their friendships, their personal outlooks, and their relationships with men, the TV show was about shoe fetishes, commercialism, and traditional male/female relationships masquerading as "progressive". I certainly didn't think the show depicted feminist progress in sex and relationships, despite being presented and commented on in that way.

Greta Christina mentioned in the complete article at The Blowfish Blog how Miranda, the character who is supposed to be the most sexually evolved, didn't even consider non-monogamy when she realized that she wanted to have sex with other men while in a relationship with one man. Here's what she wrote:

Samantha (Kim Cattrall), for those of you who've never seen the show, is the shameless slut, the woman who "acts like a man," the one with the sexual appetites and attitudes of a Casanova. As the movie begins, she's been settled down for years with a man she loves, and loves to fuck. But she's starting to feel restless — for a number of reasons, but one of the biggest is that she still has a roving eye for pretty men. She feels that her relationship is forcing her to suppress an essential part of who she is — the part that likes to pick up cute guys for casual sex. And so she ends her relationship: sadly, regretfully, but clearly believing that it's necessary.

Now. Did anyone else see this movie? And at this point in the story, did anyone else want to stand up and scream, "For the love of Loki and all the gods in Valhalla, will you PLEASE try non-monogamy?"

I'm not saying non-monogamy is for everybody. I'm not saying it’s the perfect answer to all problems in all relationships. I'm not even saying it would have solved this couple's problems. But if a central problem in a relationship is that one of you really likes to fuck around and feels stifled when you can't — if one of you truly loves the other and wants to stay with them, and at the same time genuinely feels that you can't be true to yourself if you don’t have the freedom to be a big slut — then non-monogamy should at least be on the table. It might not work, your partner might not consider it, it might not be what you ultimately want . . . but at the very least, the concept should cross your mind.

But it never crosses Samantha's mind. Samantha — the proud slut, the sexual adventurer, the one of the four friends who supposedly has the most sexual knowledge and experience — seems to have never even considered this option.

And none of her friends suggests it to her.

I think Samantha needs a copy of "The Ethical Slut", which is about polyamory. I was surprised myself to learn that non-monogamy didn't even cross her radar. Or her friends radar. While the man she loves might never take to non-monogamy (I'm thinking specifically of polyamory), they could have at least discussed it. I don't know how Samantha would feel about the man she loves taking on other partners. Would they be a mono/poly couple? The only possibilities seemed to be either Samantha stifles that essential part of her being, or she would leave the relationship. As if those are her only two options. There are other options, but none of them were even considered. If she was truly a sexual progressive, she would have at least been aware of non-monogamy, in particular polyamory. It might not work for them, but they could have at least discussed it.

The other thing that bothered me a great deal about the show was how commercialized it was. It was all about appearances and buying expensive, trendy things - especially shoes. Being a modern, emancipated woman isn't about how many hundreds of dollars you spend on a pair of Manolo Blanicks. I also thought the women whined too much about not meeting decent men. These are unmarried, childless, successful, financially comfortable middle class white women. They have the ability to really improve their lives and outlooks since they don't have to worry about making enough money to cover the rent or wondering how they're going to feed the kids and themselves when they run out of money at the end of the month.

So what do they do?

They complain about how their lives aren't complete because they can't find The Man. That's not progressive. That's falling back on the old saw that a woman is not complete unless she snags herself a man, preferably one who is successful and earns more money than she does. "Sex and the City" had an opportunity to show how successful, young, financially set women can make a real go of it in the world, and instead it fell back on old gendered stereotypes.

I don't recall seeing the Rabbit Pearl Vibrator episode, but I know a thing or two about sex toys, since I write for several sex toys companies. I'm glad that the show introduced women to a very good sex toy. Rabbits have come a long way since "Sex and the City" introduced American women to the Rabbit Pearl. I think that women and men can learn a great deal about their sexual likes and dislikes by using sex toys. I, for example, can't find my G-spot without using a G-spot vibrator. I own a Sunflower and a Rock Chick, and both have helped me enjoy some very hot sex. While there is debate about whether or not the G-spot exists, considering my experience and the experiences of women whose testimonials I have read, I believe that the G-spot exists, and that women would enjoy playing with it. "Sex and the City" helped to make masturbation - including masturbating with sex toys - more acceptable, especially for women. I'm also not one of those women who think that the G-spot is a male conspiracy to reduce women again to Vaginal Sex (insert penis here) = Real Sex vs. Clitoral Sex = Immature Sex. Women have both. Let them enjoy both.

Some commenters at Greta Christina's blog made the interesting observation that America is, even today, a rather puritanical country. Sex is discussed in whispers, if at all. Some states even forbid the sale of sex toys in brick and mortar stores. That's not a healthy attitude to have about sex. So, considering that kind of background, while "Sex and the City" isn't progressive to anyone who has really been writing about and investigating sex for quite some time, it did bring a lot of sexual topics to the attention of American women in a safer way. I can see that point, even though I didn't like the show and I haven't yet seen the movie.

Next on my plate, after I write my sex toys articles for the day and work on some erotic fiction, is to write a review of the new TV series "Swingtown". I watched it last Thursday. Not sure what I think yet, although I will say it did entertain me. I was a teenager in the 1970s who was raised in a conservative environment, so the sexual revolution passed me by. I didn't get exposed to it until I was in college in the late '70s, early '80s. I'm curious to see how this series pans out.

May 12, 2008

I have long been fascinated with affairs, ever since I was in college and I realized that some married men would screw anything female with legs, as long as the woman presented herself to him in an appealing manner. I was occasionally that woman. It wasn't just men who cheated on their spouses. Women have cheated countless times throughout history.

In one of my earlier articles for Nuts4chic, I wrote about cyber affairs. Is it really cheating if you never meet in person, leaving your sweaty paw prints all over the computer screen when interacting with your honey? I recall an article about a guy who was addicted to the online role playing game "Second Life", and his real life wife was not happy that he had cheated on her with a woman he had "married" in the game. I found the real life wife posting on the Yahoo group EverQuest Widows, and she was so pissed about the article and all the new things she learned about her husband's cyber affair that she had decided to divorce his ass.

A man I had interviewed for my nuts4chic article described a near-miss he had with his wife. Here is an excerpt describing that incident:

When Tim's wife opened the Valentine's Day gift he had mailed to her, he knew he was in trouble when she pulled an eight-inch purple butt plug out of the box.

That gift was meant for his cyber playmate. The company had shipped it to the wrong address.

He stammered, telling her it was really for him. He's into bondage and sadistic play. She's not.

He likes cybersex. He likes kinky web sites, in particular BDSM web sites. He said that he had done it "often when I had a day job that allowed unfiltered access to the Internet."

He doesn't consider his cyber-relationships affairs.

"They're flirtations," he said. "There's no face-to-face.

Is it really an affair if it's only on the Internet? What about hot, steamy e-mail exchanges? The concensus from my research into that article was that, yes, indeed, a married person who has cybersex is having an affair. Energy, attention, and sometimes even money are paid to the person who is not the adulterer's spouse.

Here are some movies and books that address the time-honored practice of infidelity:

Anna Karenina
Double Indemnity
Casablanca
The Scarlet Letter
Body Heat
Same Time, Next Year
The Bridges Of Madison County
Indecent Proposal
Brief Encounter
The Postman Always Rings Twice
52 Pick Up

Check my blog over the next couple of weeks for information about my upcoming Nuts4chic article about famous sex scandals. Affairs figure prominently amongst the scandals. Former President Bill Clinton is better known today for Monica Lewinsky's blow jobs than for much of his public policy. Ministers such as Jim Bakker and Jimmy Swaggart have seen their empires fall due to their inability to keep it in their pants. Former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer saw his power crumble after the public got wind of his own carryings on with a prostitution ring. I discuss many of these sex scandals in my upcoming Nuts4chic article. Read my blog over the next couple of weeks for news about when it comes out.

Actors are also well known for their affairs. Katherine Hepburn has long been known to be Spencer Tracy's lover, but his wife would not give him a divorce because they were Catholic. Elizabeth Taylor cheated on Eddie Fisher with Richard Burton, and later married Burton. Twice. When Billy Bob Thornton met Angelina Jolie, he was living with Laura Dern. Dern had once stated that "I left home to work on a movie, and while I was away, my boyfriend got married, and I've never heard from him again." Angelina Jolie made the news again when she was linked with a very married Brad Pitt. As anyone with a pulse knows by now, Pitt left wife Jennifer Aniston and hooked up with Jolie. They are still together, and Jolie's pregnancies and adopted children have made gossip columnists very happy.

While affairs in literature and movies are often tragic, they can be very funny. My new short story "Caught!", published by eXcessica Publishing, involves an affair between Kevin and Betsy. The problem is that while they are busy doing the nasty, Betsy's husband Dean arrives home early from work. Will Kevin and Betsy get themselves out of this mess, and how will they do it? You'd be surprised when you read the book and see the creative way Kevin has of handling his dilemma. Keep in mind that the seagull on the book's cover is very important to the plot.

So, affairs are common, but they can also be devastating. I've never been with a man who cheated on me, but I have been involved with married men when I was younger and much more reckless. For any woman who is considering the idea of having an affair with a married man, I can tell you due to my experience that he isn't worth it. For one thing, it's likely that he would cheat on you should he leave his wife for you. Then again, most married men don't leave their wives for their mistresses. You're in for a lonely life if you have an affair with a married man.

Affairs have been great fodder for literature and movies for many years, and they will continue to draw crowds. If you want to read a comic take on an affair, read my story "Caught!"

April 20, 2008

At 4:02 p.m. April 10, two women went into the Federal Way police station claiming that over the past two years, a paranormal person has been placing sensors on their bodies and visiting them in their house at 28600 block of 25th Place South. They said that the ghost has been having sexual intercourse with them. One woman said that these incidents started in Kent and continued when she moved here. The other woman said that this just started now.

Some of my erotic short stories involve ghosts and sex, and I have heard of people who claim to have been raped by ghosts (think of the movie "The Entity"), but this is the first time I've seen news coverage of such a thing.

April 10, 2008

I was cruising the Interwebs yesterday when I saw that Vir Magazine, a new men's magazine, is looking mighty fine! It isn't ready to launch yet, but it's getting there. I hadn't heard from the owners in awhile, so I wrote to them yesterday. Things are looking great, and I expect to be writing for Vir again soon. I am Vir's sex columnist, and I expect to have out one article per month, as far as I know.

I already have an article up at Vir, and it's so popular that Google picked it up. It's about the lure of those sexy older women - cougars. The most famous cougar at the moment is Demi Moore. She married her younger man, Ashton Kutcher. Other famous cougars include Susan Sarandon (and Tim Robbins) and Naomi Watts (and the late Heath Ledger). The cougar who seemed to have started it all was Anne Bancroft as Mrs. Robinson in "The Graduate". However, cougars aren't viewed in such a negative manner any more. The television show "Medium" even covered cougars, with Rosanna Arquette as a cougar who wrote a best-selling book about how older women can find those hot younger men.

Being a cougar is all about enjoying your age and not being ashamed of it. Sexy older women have rejected men their own age who have tossed them aside for younger women. Since cougars invade older men's "I will date younger people" territory, that makes the older men feel a bit slow and old. Here's an excerpt from my cougar article at Vir that looks into cougars:

Valerie Gibson’s book, “Cougar: A Guide For Older Women Dating Younger Men”, lays out the cougar in all her juicy splendor. You know what you are getting with this book because of the luscious tongue licking a pair of bright red female lips on the book’s cover. Cougars loathe commitment, and according to Gibson they view their men as “prey”.

When most people think of May-December romances, they think of a silver-haired older man with a young, lovely creature hanging on his arm. These men reject women their age for younger women. Older women today have fired back at men their age who overlook them in favor of dating nubile young women. Some older men feel threatened by cougars, since cougars make them feel slow and old. Cougars invade the “I will date younger people” territory that has been held by older men for aeons. Gibson wrote that separated and divorced older men “are a major source of hostility when it comes to older women dating younger men.” The cougar merely turns her head away from these older men, and gives them the brush-off that they have been giving to older women for years.

Being a cougar is a fun thing for the women who like it. I personally gravitate to older men, and I have as long as I've been interested in men. Still, I wouldn't turn down a younger man. Some have been interested in me, and I liked the thrill of being viewed as sexy by a man ten years younger than me.

Here are some good things I've noticed about younger men, when I was in the dating scene. I'm married now, but I can still look. Keep in mind that these observations are coming from a woman who has normally gravitated towards much older men. I guess I like men of all ages.

* Younger guys like the same type of music I like.

* Younger guys are more likely to like the quirky films I like, especially horror movies and cult films. Every time I raved about how much I love those gory Dario Argento Italian horror flicks, it's been a younger guy who raved with me.

* Younger guys lavish attention on sexy older women who are with them.

* Younger guys don't treat their cougar like a child. However, they do like to be spoiled.

* Younger guys tend to not have ex-wife and kids baggage. There's nothing like a bitter, divorced, middle-aged man to put a damper on the sexy fun.

While the sexual "prey" aspect of the cougar is attractive, I think that there is much more to being a cougar than dating younger men. Cougars are not afraid of disagreeing with anyone or stating their opinion without feeling that they have to have approval, especially male approval. They are financially independent, or at the very least they are earning money doing something they love. They enjoy sex, and they like to experiment. They are intelligent, and they enjoy learning more about life. Cougars are in control. Poor self-esteem is not one of their problems. Cougars are comfortable being themselves, no matter what anyone else thinks.

So, head on over to Vir Magazine and read my article. Once Vir is definitely up and running, and I have new articles up, I will post here giving you directions to read and leave comments.

March 19, 2008

I've reported on something I've called "The Face" in older posts on my old blog. Everyone by now has read about Eliot Spitzer, the dogged former attorney general and current governor of New York and his prostitute scandal. Spitzer was well-known for being a tough law-and-order prosecutor when AG, especially when he busted at least one prostitution ring. According to Susie Bright, who has been following the story, "only a few years ago, in 2004, Spitzer spoke "with revulsion" after announcing his arrest of eighteen people who ran an escort business out of Staten Island. [...] This was a sophisticated and lucrative operation with a multi-tiered management structure," Mr. Spitzer sputtered at the time. "It was, however, nothing more than a prostitution ring."" Yes, this same Spitzer who was repulsed by an escort business has hired one himself.

Funny how things turn out.

Below is a photograph of him admitting that he had spent thousands of dollars and time on a high-priced hooker named Kristen. Notice that expression. I've seen in very often in (mostly) men who get caught doing something wrong. This "Face" is not regret or a way of apologizing for past wrongs. It means, "Shitdamn, I got caught!"

Here is a "Face" photo of Spitzer with his wife by his side, doing her best impression of the hang-dog, humiliated spouse who Stands By Her Man.

Here are some other politicos wearing "The Face":

This face could be nothing more than photographers taking advantage of men caught with their pants down, so to speak, but I've seen it so often that I think it bears notice. I don't expect to see it disappear any time soon.

January 27, 2008

You can always count on Tess to come up with a hot blog entry. She has a new blog, entitled Sex 'n Sass, and her first entry is in honor of upcoming Valentine's Day. She talks about a topic dear to all of us straight women - food, sex, and men.

One thing she didn't mention was combining chili peppers and dark chocolate. One of my favorite movies, "Chocolat", had talked about this. It stars Johnny Depp, and Tess and I fight over who gets to have dear Johnny for the night. Har! He is so hot! Putting chili pepper into hot chocolate originated in Mexico, and the flavors mix surprisingly well. Talk about giving a kick to a mug of hot chocolate! Now I want to go to my favorite chocolate web site and buy some cocoa nibs...

She mentioned mead in her post, which is a honey wine. Tess, I can speak on the alluring properties of mead. That was my drink-of-choice when I was in college, and I preferred red mead to white mead. I occasionally pick up a bottle of it to this day, especially in winter. Sadly, the only mead I can find is white mead, but it's still good. If you find red mead, buy it! Some liquor stores carry mead. The best mead I've ever had needed to be warmed, and it came with a packet of herbs. You drop the herbs in the bottle, and let the bottle sit in a pot of warm water until the mead warms up. Warming up alcohol increases its ability to get you soused. This wine will catch up with you because it's sweet, so don't drink it too quickly. It's very tasty, and it can definitely lower inhibitions. You and your man can play Serving Wench/Dashing Lord while you drink your mead and feed each other chocolate-covered strawberries. A little role-playing can go a long way.

Did you know that celery is an aphrodisiac? I went "wha...?" the first time I read that, too. I hate celery, although I like the taste of it. I don't like the consistency of the veggie. When it's not crunchy, it's soggy. Ick! I do like it in soups, but only if it's wrapped in cheesecloth and removed once cooked. Here are a few quotes from an old post I wrote about food and sex. Apparently, celery is an aphrodisiac, according to this article from Pravda, of all places. Are the Russians more up-front about sex than Americans? The article stated that "a cluster of celery stems was traditionally hung above the bed of newlyweds on the first marital night. The plant was believed to act as a powerful erotic stimulant."

Learn something new every day.

I agree that scents make a different in setting a mood. Tess recommended some well-known sexy scents to make sure your lovemaking is at its most intense. To quote her: "Lavendar and patchouli. Sandlewood and jasmine. Gardenias thick in the air." Patchouli is already established as the lover's scent. Buy the scents she recommended as oils, and use them as perfume. I own an oil I bought from a Voudou web site that is called "Fire of Love", and it packs a wallop! I also own patchouli oil that I bought from the same web site. Dribble a few drops of the oils on candles to release their scent.

Another scent tied to love and lust is bergamot, which is a chief ingredient in Earl Grey tea. Serve your lover a glass of iced Earl Grey tea, and let the fun begin!

I'm going to celebrate this article by drinking a glass or two of port, which is a type of red wine. I think I'll put on some "Fire of Love" oil and see what awaits me for the rest of the day.

January 22, 2008

Feminists do it again - they are behind the drive to allow topless swimming at a swimming pool in northern Sweden. As one man said, "We're used to naked people. Nobody cares." It would be great if that kind of attitude existed in America. Women breastfeeling babies are given the hairy eye-ball in this country, and they are sometimes ordered to a restroom so that they don't "offend" anyone. I would not eat in a public restroom, and I don't expect to be told that a baby deserves to eat in such a place.

According to a survey by Gametart (I love that name), women who play video games have sex more often. Alright!! I haven't played games in awhile, but I have been curious about Second Life for several months now. Once I have a book or two ready to sell, which is only going to be a matter of time now, I would love to open a store in Second Life to sell my books. I also want that bed that simulates multiple sex acts. That game is so subversive it's been semi-bashed on TV shows like "CSI". Hey, free advertising!

Man boobs on flabby guys - bad. Pec implants to make the average sunken male chest look like Adonis's torso - good! More men are getting pec implants. I suppose that kind of rock-hard chest is harder to achieve with weightlifting and exercise, but what's with the war rhetoric? Here's a quote from the article: "A guy with a great chest looks like a warrior, wearing armor for battle. Nothing can penetrate that hull." There's also the not-so-subtle sexual innuendo with the word "penetrate". So maybe men are getting to be as neurotic about their bodies as women have been for aeons.

Tricky Dicky's is the first pole-dancing club to open in the UK that features male pole dancers who dance for a straight female clientele. Men are not allowed in, except for the nearly two dozen male dancers. Will straight women be drawn to such a club? I need to check on the first brothel in Las Vegas that caters to women. I wondered how that would work out, since it is men who traditionally pay for the services of a brothel. When I was in my early twenties, I was offered a pole dancing job at The Block in Baltimore. I was flattered that the owner thought I was attractive and sexy enough to pull that off, but I could never do something like that. I didn't like the "fringe benefits". Plus on The Block pole dancing seemed sleazy. Strippers manage to find me anyway, though. When I worked on an indie horror film in North Carolina, my makeup assistant worked nights as a stripper. She was a very good makeup assistant. I trained her. I knew she went on to work as a production assistant in local films. I don't know if she got more work in movies, but I always wished the best for her.

An exploration of current trends in paranormal romance. The panel discusses which trends they like, which trends they hate, and which trends might be the next big thing. What are the best reads currently available?

Sex can be a beautiful, poetic expression of love, or a passionate display of lust, but sometimes it can be a comedy of errors. A funny look into where you put that leg, what was that sound and satin sheets sound romantic until you slide off of them.