A regular contributor to the New York Times op-ed page—where he has opined on such issues as Martha Stewart's release from prison, the fundamental differences between leaf rakers and blowers, and the difficulties of being organic—Bill Alexander had a simple dream: to create a vegetable garden and orchard. He never guessed this would lead him into life-and-death battles with webworms, weeds, and a groundhog named Superchuck. Over the course of his hilarious adventures, Alexander ponders why a 6,000-volt wire doesn't deter deer but nearly kills his tree surgeon; encounters a gardener with an eerie resemblance to Christopher Walken; and discovers the aphrodisiacal qualities of pollen. For this edition Alexander provides recipes for the dishes that make cameo appearances in the text.

"If the idea of a memoir by someone 'who nearly lost his sanity' over a garden freezes the blood, as it did mine, then be prepared to have your preconceptions squashed by this disarmingly witty take on horticulture among the energetic middle-aged.... This is a genuinely humorous book ... a paean to the homesteader who never gets written about, the pioneer whom all of us could have been in another life, the incompetent one."—Washington Post Book World