School Board President Worried Sex Ed Will Turn Kids Gay, Not So Worried About P*ssy Grabbing

It’s hard to imagine how many Trump supporters there even are in California, being as the state is riddled with sanctuary cities, abortion clinics, and anti-gun activists, and home to the unofficial Gay Capital Of The World. But every once in a while, we’re reminded that there are idiots everywhere, even reliably “blue” states on the west coast.

Today’s idiot is Brooke Ashjian, the president of the Fresno Unified School District. A real man’s man, Brooke actually took his own children out of the sex education classes offered in California, for fear that it would turn them gay. In an interview with the Fresno Bee, Ashjian elaborated:

My biggest fear in teaching this – which we’re going to do it because it’s the law – but you have kids who are extremely moldable at this stage, and if you start telling them that LGBT is OK and that it’s a way of life, well maybe you just swayed the kid to go that way. It’s so important for parents to teach these Judeo-Christian philosophies.”

Man, where do we start with this? I know — I’ll start at the end. Why in the world does Brooke Ashjian refer to his religion in that way? “Judeo-Christian philosophies” sounds a lot like political speech to me. He’s a Mormon. Why wouldn’t he just say “we have to teach them to love Jesus” or something? Well, you know why. Because their religion — not Mormons specifically, but Trump fans — is political to them. They honestly believe that they will eventually be able to legislate their own morality onto others, and that Trump is their best chance to do so.

So then there’s the rest of this bullshit: “Maybe you just swayed the kid.” Um, Brooke… If it were that easy to change a child into something they’re not simply by giving them examples, you should be a little more worried they might turn out like Mr. “When You’re A Star,” who sets a much worse example than anyone I can think of off the top of my head. Lying, cheating, stealing, adultery, rape, and more lying — You could write a lesson plan on how to be a giant asshole based on the life of Donald Trump.

And just for the record: Driving a giant truck with “HILLARY4PRISON” decals on the back window is a “way of life.” Having a mullet and smashing PBR cans on your forehead while you rock out to Nickelback is a “way of life.” Kissing someone of the same sex is just a thing you do when you like somebody.

Featured image via Chung Sung-Jun/Getty Images

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Written by Andrew Simpson

Andrew hates long walks on the beach, glitter, and men's rights activists. He can usually be found with his long-suffering wife, who can usually be found asking him to please not order onions on that burger, babe.