It's Time To Get Things Started

Well, I'm back with my second fan-fic! It's longer than the last one and I think it's pretty good! I'm open to any suggestions and comments. Enjoy.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Intro
The directors of a famous theater sat at a long conference table. Everyone was extremely serious. The star of Othello had just been murdered by a group of angry (and quite possibly mentally deranged) critics.
Of course the theater had been closed and all future musicals and plays cancelled.
"So, Mr. Parker said. "What do we do now? Should we keep the theater? Destroy it? Leave it here to rot for ever and ever and be vandalized by angry teenagers?"
"NO!" Mr. James, a nervous man, cried. "I don't think Uncle Deadly would appreciate that very much! He'll come back to haunt us! YOU KNOW HE WOULD!"
"Well, obviously we can't keep it," Mr. Potter replied. "Him being the star of most of the plays here. I suppose... the-the best thing to do would be to sell it."
"Sell it?" Mr. James asked. "Who would buy it?"
"I'd buy it," said a gruff voice from the shadows.
"Are-are you sure, Mr. Grosse?" Mr. Parker asked.
"What would you do with it?" Mr. Potter demanded.
"Oh I've got something in mind."

OK, I'm back with more of the story!
---------------------------------------------Chapter One "Why are there so many songs about rainbows and what's on the other side? Rainbows are visions but only illusions and rainbows have nothing to hide. So we've been told and some choose to believe it. I know they're-" Kermit the Frog broke off. He was sitting alone in his swamp, playing his banjo, like a typical Saturday. What wasn't so typical was the short, rather large man in a business suit wading towards him.
"Kermit, I bet you don't remember me," he said, sitting down on a stump.
"J.P. Grosse!" Kermit said in surprise. "Of course-of course I remember you!"
"Good. Now, I have a business deal for you. You can take it or leave it. Although, between you and me, if you leave it I'm gonna have to bulldoze this swamp."
Kermit scrunched up his face. "Whatever you say, sir."
"All right. You know the old theater?"
"Y-yes, sir."
"Well, I bought it."
"Good for you."
"Yes, it was a good business move. I'm planning on starting a show of a bunch of crazy Muppets singing and dancing a preforming skits. And I want you to run it."
"I'm touched that when you think of crazy Muppets I'm the first person who comes to mind."
"Watch it Frog! You'd better take it or I bulldoze the swamp!"
"Are you threatening me?"
"Are you the swamp?"
"Um... no?"
"Then I'm not threatening you. So?"
"I guess I have no choice. I'll take it," Kermit replied.
"Wonderful. Now find some acts, would you? We start in a month."
"A month?"
"You catch on fast."
J.P. Grosse walked away, leaving Kermit and his swamp alone.
Kermit picked up his banjo.
"I know they're wrong wait and see. Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection. The lovers, the dreamers and me..."
He stopped playing. Who should I hire, he thought.
"That's it!" he cried. There was a comedian at a club in the city, Fonzie or something. "I'll hire him!"
Kermit left his swamp and walked to the highway where he hailed a taxi heading for the city.

The club was small and not too many people where there. Kermit walked in. Fozzie Bear was telling jokes.​

"So. What do a kangaroo and a zucchini have in common? They both can't ride a bike! Wocka, wocka!"​

Chapter Two
The members of the Electric Mayhem were chilling on their tour bus.
Zoot and Janice were sitting on the couch with their arms wrapped around each other.
Dr. Teeth was playing his keyboard, trying out the new song he'd written.
Meanwhile, Animal, who was chained to a wall, was eating the old TV Floyd had saved from the neighbors trash.
"That's all there is so eat it slowly!" Sgt. Floyd Pepper reminded him.
"SLOWLY! SLOWLY! FOOD! FOOD!" Animal cried wildly, devouring the TV. Then he looked up at Floyd. "Thank you, Floyd."
Suddenly there was a knock on the door.
"Coming!" Dr. Teeth called. He opened the door. It was Kermit.
"Hi-ho, I'm Kermit the Frog."
"Hey, dude, come in," Dr. Teeth said. "I'm Dr. Teeth and this is the Electric Mayhem. Zoot, Janice, Floyd Pepper and-"
"ANIMAL! ANIMAL!"
"Yes, that's Animal," Dr. Teeth said. "So, what's up, Kermit?"
"Well, you know the old theater?" Kermit asked.
"Fer sure," Janice replied. "We had, like, a couple gigs there."
"Well, it was sold to J.P. Grosse and he wants to start a show there. I'd like you to be the home band."
"Absitivley, posolutely!" Dr. Teeth said. "How long has it been since our last gig?"
"Three months, seventeen days and six hours," Zoot replied.
"You got yourself a band, my main frog," Floyd added.
"BAND! BAND! BEAT DRUMS! BEAT DRUMS! EAT DRUMS!"
"NO!" Floyd said sharply. "Beat drums. No eating drums!"
"Beat no eat!"
"Would you like us to audition?" Dr. Teeth asked.
"Sure," Kermit replied.
"OK, band. Let's show him the new song. We haven't got any lyrics worked out yet," he added to Kermit.
The grabbed their instruments and began playing a very catchy song *yes, it's the Muppet Show theme*.
"That was great!" Kermit said when they'd finished. "Oh, yeah. Um, Fozzie Bear wanted me to give you a letter." He handed Janice the letter A.
"Like, thanks. We haven't seen Fozzie in like, ages!"
"Well, I'll see you around," Kermit said stepping out of the bus. "Hey, do you know of any other Muppets who might be interested?"
"There's, like, a singing dancing pig nearby," Janice replied. "I've got her address if you, like, want it."
"Great! Thanks," Kermit said as Janice handed him a piece of paper.
Twenty minutes later, Kermit was inside a large, brick apartment building. He walked over to the front desk.
"Hello, I'm here to see Miss Piggy," he said.
"Ah, oui," the man at the desk said. "Mademoiselle Piggy is one of our favourite residents! She's in room 12b!" He lowered his voice and leant down to Kermit's level. "Whatever you do, don't touch her chocolates!" He straightened up and said in his normal voice, "Have a nice day!"
Kermit wandered along to room 12b. He knocked on the door.
"Who is it?" came a sing-song voice from the other side of the door.
"It's Kermit the Frog. I'm here to see Miss Piggy with a job offer!"
"What?" came a shocked voice. The door opened and Miss Piggy came out in a white silk dress and a blue wrap, with her hair loose around her shoulders.
"Hello," Kermit said.
"Bonjour," Miss Piggy replied flirtatiously. "Welcome to my happy home! Now," she said, trading the sing-song voice for one that meant business. "You said something about a job offer?"
"Oh, yes, you see we're starting a show at the old theater. It'll be on TV, with a live audience and I was wondering if you'd like to be in it."
"Oh really? Oh Kermie, that would be wonderful!"
"Kermit."
"Whatever. Here is my resumée!"
"Oh, thanks."
She handed him and eighteen page laminated booklet.
"Good grief!"
"Yes vous will notice that the special skills category is rather long."
Kermit read the resumée as fast as possible.
"Well, this looks great! You know, I was a little concerned about coming here. Janice told me you were just a singing dancing pig!" he laughed.
"Janice of the Electric Mayhem, Janice?" Miss Piggy asked.
"Yes."
"She said I was 'just a singing dancing pig?"
"Um... maybe?"
"WELL YOU CAN TELL JANICE SHE'S JUST AN OVERRATED GUITAR PLAYING VALLEY GIRL WHO LOOKS LIKE MICK JAGGER!"
"Oh... all-all right," Kermit said, edging his way toward the door.
"Oh, and flipper face."
"Y-yes?"
"Was Floyd Pepper there?"
"Uh-huh."
"Give him this for me!" She karate chopped Kermit so hard he went flying across the hall. "Oh, and Kermie?"
"What?"
"See you at the show!" she called happily, then shut the door.
"Sheesh."

*I really cannot write Mock-Swedish at all, so that's why the Swedish Chef doesn't really have any lines *Chapter Three
Kermit went to the newspaper office to place an add in the paper, then returned to his swamp, exhausted.
The next morning, Kermit's add appeared in the paper. Around ten he got a phone call from his old friend Jim.
"Hey Kermit!" Jim said. "I saw your add in the paper! I know someone who'd be perfect for you! His name's Rowlf and he plays piano."
"Oh, thanks Jim!"
They talked for a bit then hung up.
After lunch, Kermit headed off to Rowlf's. Rowlf lived in a little cottage in the country, a short bus ride from Kermit's swamp.
Kermit knocked on his door.
"Coming!" Rowlf answered the door in a pink flower apron. "Oh, you must be Kermit! Jim told me you might be stopping by! Come on in. I hope you don't mind that I have company. Kermit, this is my friend the Swedish Chef. He's from Sweden. He's been teaching me some new cooking techniques!"
"Nice to meet you too," Kermit said. The Swedish Chef waved to Kermit and said something in Mock-Swedish.
"So, Rowlf, would you like to audition for the Muppet Show?"
"Of course!" Rowlf ran to the piano. "I will sing a classic song called 'You and I and George.'"
"You and I and George went strolling down the park one day. And then you held my hand as if to say I Love You. Then we passed a brook and George fell in and drowned himself. And floated out to sea. Leaving you alone with me."
"Well..." Kermit said. "Your singing and piano playing are very good. You're hired."
"Excellent!" the he bent down and whispered, "Kermit, I was wondering if you could hire the Chef too. He hasn't had a job since he was deported from Sweden."
"Deported?"
"Yes. I can't really make out why. I think he was joking about the Great Donut Massacre of '52... Please give him a job!"
"Oh... all right," Kermit replied, making a mental note to hide all the donuts. "CHEF! You're hired!"
The Chef dropped the food and grabbed Kermit in a giant hug, thanking him in Mock-Swedish.
Chapter Three will be finished ASAP and the last 2 chapters posted soon after that!

Interesting. So this is like a different version of how everyone met and how The Muppets got started? Much different from The Muppet Movie. (I can tell because Zoot and Janice were still going out at that point)

Hey! It's Kermit and Rowlf team-work from their first friend Jim Henson. The song "You and I & George" is hilarious. You pick really good songs and I know you went deeper into how the Muppets got together for the Muppet Show. Sweeeeettttt!

Chapter Three (cont.)
"So, Rowlf," Kermit said, once the Chef had released him. "Do you know of anyone else who might want to audition for the show?"
"Well... there were some rumors in the chicken coop about a purple hook nosed... thing planning to blast himself out of a cannon across the Grand Canyon."
"Did he?" Kermit asked in awe.
"He made it half way."
"Did he die?"
"Die? Of course he didn't die if he died what would the point of this story be?"
"I don't know, Rowlf."
"Anyways, he's in town. You should look him up."
"Great, what's his name?"
"They're calling him-" *shifty eyes* "the Great Gonzo.

​

A limo pulled up outside of the fanciest hotel in town.​

"That must be him!" Kermit exclaimed.​

The doors opened and out stepped...​

"Hey..." Kermit said. "Isn't that that guy from that movie?"
"You bet it is!" came a voice from behind him. "I wonder if he wants my autograph!"​

Chapter Four
At eleven o'clock am exactly, Kermit's phone rang.
"Hello. It is I, Sam the Eagle."
"Hi-ho Sam, I'm Kermit the Frog."
"Kermit. Kermit. How very un-American. Are you German?"
"Um... no. I was born here."
"Really? How wonderful! Now, to business. I saw your add in the paper and my clients-"
"Clients?"
"Yes I am an agent for the wonderful Wayne and Wanda! They sing. I'd like you to come to my office so we can talk, beak-to-face. How's three o'clock?"
"That's great. Just give me the address!"

​

At five to three Kermit found himself outside an old brick building. He walked inside and strode over to the front desk. The receptionist was an old lady in glasses and a green dress.​

"Hello, I have an appointment with Sam the Eagle."
"Room eighteen," she said automatically without looking up.​

Kermit walked over to Room 18 and knocked on the door.​

"Enter."​

Sam sat at a big desk at the back of the room in front of a large window. On the walls were portraits of all the American presidents to date in chronological order. An American flag stood on his desk.​

"Ah, Kermit, how are you?" Sam continued without waiting for an answer. "Now Wayne and Wanda are not available for a live audition as they have a job. But I have a tape here to play for you." He pulled out a tape and slid it into a radio. ​

"On a clear day, rise and look around you. And you'll see who you are! On a clear day, how it will astound you-" Sam turned it off.​

"I believe you've heard enough."​

"But I wanted to hear the end."
"Ah, the end is much the same as the beginning and of no importance whatsoever!"
"OK. So, Sam-" Kermit was cut off by the wail of sirens as an army of fire trucks rolled by.​

"Ah, that would be for them," Sam muttered, glancing at his watch. "A pity. They almost made it to the end."​

"What?"
"NOTHING!"
"Well, you'll be happy to know I've decided to take Wayne and Wanda for the show."​

"Wonderful. But on one condition."
"What's that?"
"You take me too. I shall be on the show to monitor their progress and help you keep this running as smoothly and civily as possible." ​

"Uhhhhh..."​

"Well?"
"Oh, all right."​

"Wonderful, I shall see you at the show! God Bless America!"​

​

When Kermit returned to his swamp he was surprised to see someone was already there.​

"Hi. I'm George."​

"Well, hello George."​

"Yeah, I saw you're add and I'm really into show business."​

"What do you do?"​

"I'm a janitor."​

"A... dancing janitor?
"No, a sweeping janitor."​

"Ah. I thought you where interested in show business."​

"The show's up at the old theater, right?"
"Yeah?"
"And it's gonna be on TV?"
"Uh-huh."​

"That's show business."
"You know what George? You're hired."​

​

Kermit's phone was ringing. Again.​

"Sheesh," he said as he picked it up.​

"Hi Kermit, this is Mildred Huxtetter. I saw your add-"​

"What do you do? Sing? Dance? Act? Sweep?"​

"Actually, I was interested in sponsoring the show."​

"Good grief! Really?"
"Yes. But on one condition."​

"Oh. You're one of those people."​

"You let me be on the show occasionally," she said at the same time as Kermit said:
"I let you be on the show occasionally."
"Yes."
"Oh, OK, Mildred," Kermit said, a sudden idea coming to him. "Say, what do you know about ballroom dancing?"​

​

The next day Kermit was touring the theater with J.P. Grosse.​

"And this will be your office." J.P. opened the door and Kermit jumped. Sitting in his chair was an orange haired kid in glasses.​

"Hey Uncle J.P.! Hey Kermit!"​

"Kermit, this is my nephew, Scooter. He's going to be working here as your go-fer."​

Chapter Five
After a couple more weeks of auditions the cast was complete. Some new members where Thog, Sweetums, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and Hilda the wardrobe lady.
The show was just about ready to start and ticket sales were better than expected.
"Hey, boss!" Scooter called.
"Yes, Scooter?" Kermit could get used to this whole 'boss' thing.
"I've had a great idea to boost publicity! Why don't we hold a contest on the radio to give away two free balcony seats for life?"
"Well... That would raise publicity... and your uncle owns the theater... so... why not? I know a guy who works on the radio who'll host the contest!

​

"And lucky caller number nine is... MR.STATLER! You have won two balcony seats on the Muppet Show, free for life!"​

​

"Well, Waldorf, we won."​

"Nice alliteration."​

"Thank you."​

"At least it'll give me a chance to get away from Astoria for a bit."​

The two old men laughed.​

"The show should be good though," Waldorf added.​

"Yes, but nothing compared to that party after the end of World War One..."​