April 2009: Provide a different perspective or new way of looking at something.

Think of a time when you’ve felt stuck in making a decision and someone helped you reframe your thinking around the options. You were likely looking at the situation from an either/or perspective, which limited the 10,000 possible different choices down to few. We forget that there are other ways of looking at things and other possible avenues to take. It can be a huge gift to have our limited beliefs expanded by an outside observer.

As you go through the month, notice in conversations where a colleague, friend or loved one has a limited belief. After listening to the situation, offer a different perspective. There are many ways to do this. Some of my favorites include “What’s another way of looking at that?”, “That’s one way of looking at it,” “What other possibilities exist here?”, or “How can you reframe this decision from an either/or to a both/and?” Notice what shifts happen when you offer the reframe, in your partner’s body, language, and emotions. How does offering another way of looking at something build your relationship?