Sunday, 16 August 2015

Someone Else's Prince

They day I met him was like no other yet, exactly the same as the 7304 days before it. The sun rose in the morning, cast shadows in the afternoon and set in the evening. But when I saw him. When the sun hit his neck as he turned from facing the sea to look at me. His eyes near transparent as the sun shone through them and his skin an orange glow as the rest of the world started to fall dark. The smell of the British waters, the way my heart sunk before I had even heard his name. That was love, before I even knew it.

He towered almost a foot taller over me, always making me feel tiny. At that moment, and every moment after I spent stood next to him I would feel protected. His eyes were small and his jaw chiseled. The type of boy you'd sooner see in the centrefold of a women's magazine than stood next to the likes of someone like me.

“Robin” he said “My name’s Robin”.

He showed me euphoria for the first time. He snubbed my cynicism like a lit cigarette to a puddle. He made that single room in this small town feel like a castle. He made me feel wanted.

I was a fool to think a boy like that could ever love me.

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It's infuriating when the person that broke you gets their happy ending and you're just left behind. Staring at their life from afar as through a mercy window. Looking from the outside in at what you believe should have been yours. Trying to piece together the puzzle of their quaint togetherness. Asking yourself countless questions to which you may never know the answers.

Why her

What did I do to not deserve you

What is it about her that I could never be

Why did you treat me like nothing and her your queen

You see this is reality. Reality doesn't cater to the expectations we learnt from the fairytales we grew up being spoon fed. It's not always fair and sometimes good doesn't win. Good is left lonely, crying to herself sat on the edge of the bath tub. Knowing that she was not a princess and that he was someone else's prince.