Monday, June 29, 2009

changes, changes.

Not too big of a change, but my usual resilient self is a little more fragile than normal.

Surgery day, was scheduled for this next Tuesday (7/7). The hospital called today, and moved it up to Monday (7/6). So, now pre-op is Thursday instead of Monday.

So, we shuffled around, and now are coming to terms with going one day early. For Derek, the sooner the better. For me, each day brings me closer to hyperventilating. But I'll get there. I started making my lists today. What to bring, what to pack in each bag, what I need to pick up before we go. I'm a planner. I think because it makes me feel safe, knowing I'm prepared. Surgery brings much anxiety because I don't know what to expect. Yes, we've been there. I know the hospital. I know the shortcuts through the maze of hallways. I know what happened last time. But this time around, everything could be different. Dr. Devaney, our talented surgeon who will be stopping Evan's heart, cutting into his chest, and attempting to fix his mitral valve (Which, for the record is the only part of Evan I'm not completely in love with. There's many day I actually hate it with a passion.) , doesn't know what he'll be doing til he gets into it.

But God does, and I rest assured in that. For now though, I'll continue making my lists. Praying a lot. And trying not to breakdown. Now preparing for Monday's surgery. Not Tuesday. Tuesday, God willing, we'll be helping Evan recover from open heart surgery #2.

Well I will make lists, pray, not breakdown, and share some photos of my sun-loving, mischief finding, little corn eater.