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Sunday, May 13, 2012

Firsts…

Blogging about firsts sure takes one on a ride. Wow, talk
about walking in the past through the halls of the future. I remember so many things, and not necessarily
all of my “firsts”.

I do, however, remember my first true love. I met him when I
was twelve, was “dating” him when I was fourteen and broke up with him when I
was nineteen. I wore him like a second skin most of my life. I, because of this
experience, completely understand Romeo and Juliet and the passion they shared.
I totally understand teenage angst and how it feels like the beginning or end
of the world. He was a part of what shaped me. Those years formed who we became.
He took me for a ride I’ll never forget. I hope he won’t either! There is a
French song, “Une Lettre” by Jean Jacques Goldman which is about a man writing
a letter to his first love and in it he asks; did we live the same story? I
asked myself this many times and found my answer to be that even if we didn’t,
whatever story we lived was amazing, frightening, painful and full of life. Isn’t
that what it’s all about?

The first song that I remember loving, listening to until I
knew all the words, and then still trying to understand them, was “Suzanne” by
Leonard Cohen. The album which carried this song was played in my home from the
time I can remember, and the woman in chains among the flames on the back of
the album only increased my interest in it. My mother’s name is Sue. I equated
the mystery of this song to the beauty and mystery of my mother. The song
talked about Suzanne as if from a distance and how magic she made one feel. It seemed
to fit my mother. I still LOVE this song. I still think of my mother as a
mystery.

The first “movie”/piece de theatre that I fell in love with,
that marked me, that I went right out and bought the soundtrack to was “Hair!”
I saw it on stage when but a youngster, and then saw the movie in 1979 when it
came out. I’d seen “Woodstock”, but Hair
took me to places I’d never known were possible. I really fell for the story,
the music, and the characters. I couldn’t get enough of it.

The first story/book that made an impression on me was a
short story in Ray Bradbury’s “R is for Rocket” or “S is for Space.” The image
of a young boy standing at the fence looking through it to see the rockets
blasting off and dreaming of being an astronaut haunted me for a very long
time. I read everything Ray Bradbury wrote for years. He has a way of telling a
story that I would bleed to be able to, not copy him, but write as well and
distinctly as he does in my own way. His words, his narrative has punch and it
got me in the gut all the time. Still does.

Ray Bradbury is the man.. he is such a great writer. I loved reading his short stories. It was really good reading about your first love. It sounds like it was fiery and true. What you said about love really feels right. It is like that when you are going through it!

Oh, that first love story is EXACTLY what I was craving at that age. It didn't work out that way (possibly why I am so cynical about love--I didn't have the two way version when I was young enough to still believe--I mean... I believe in love, I just don't believe in the two hearts beat as one version). And I like Ray Bradbury, too--definitely weaves a good tale.

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