Sunday, 16 September 2012

crushing crush crushes

This whole business of stalking people on Fb is tiring. First you stalk them, then you add them and then you've to make the first attempt to ping them. The ten seconds in which your crush contemplates about typing a reply, is the worst ten seconds of your day 'cause seemingly your shallow self-esteem depends on it. Oh wait, self-esteem did you say? You lost it way back when you send that friend request. Obviously he knows you've taken effort to find his unusual name on Fb, and if it wasn't that obvious you made it axiomatic by saying 'Hey, Whats Up?' We both know we are not on hey, what's up terms anyway.

So, after casual replies in which it seems I've been typing essays and he giving one-liner responses - the crush leaves (the excuse seems acceptable or I'm forcing my mind to believe so.) But when he does come back online again, do I reply and kill the leftover minuscule self-esteem groping for survival or behave as if it doesn't matter and waste my hours thinking about what if/ why is he/ should I have sort of redundant thoughts.

I read a quote once which said about giving things a try; about getting over a crush once you know him better. All I am doing is putting theory into practice. If I know him better and he no longer remains my crush, will consider the mission successful ; otherwise will have the episodic traumas in which my crush will walk all over me like I usually walk over those who are crushing over me. Don't bring Karma into picture; it has got nothing to do with it.

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Who's that girl?

I'm 23. A girl. Mostly pessimistic but can shock people with my absurd optimism at times. Suffer from extremes - too much or too less emotions. World is surprisingly slow or I am. Most of the time I begin to question life but I get busy doing something else. I would like to remain anonymous. Kthxbai.