If I Were Free

I'd sleep until the sun
forced me out of bed and
I'd stay up to hear the velvet rustle
of white moonlit trees
and howl until I felt alive.
I'd eat chocolate and all things sweet
whenever I wanted.
I'd eat with my fingers
and lick them clean.
I'd strip myself bare,
lie on the sand,
spread my arms and my legs
and try to swallow the sun.
I'd wear long flowing dresses
and let my hair grow wild
and never worry about make-up
or shaving anything.
I'd twirl until I was dizzy,
swim until I was tired,
sing until I was hoarse,
and dance naked around a full moon fire.
I'd lie on the grass
and look at cloud dragons
and pick lavender
and gather sea shells.
I'd save treasures like a magpie:
acorns, pods, strange looking driftwood,
shiny baubles, a tender collection of moments.
I'd take long afternoon naps in the shade,
and then wade in cool streams
with my skirts tied up at my waist.
I'd eat peaches ripe from the trees,
and pick blueberries and raspberries
and eat them by the handfuls
until my mouth was stained magenta.
I would feed my appetites,
honor abundance,
and feel sated.
I would laugh out loud
and scream when I wanted to,
and squeal like a girl when I was excited.
I would tame wild animals
and feed them from my hand.
I would stand naked under waterfalls
and drink in my fill.
I would bury my feet
and draw spirals in the sand.
I would make up silly songs
and sing them
out loud
and put daisies in my hair
and dance in fields where wheat grew,
golden sway as tall as me.
I would plant a garden and tend it.
I would let it all go,
every hurt, every disappointment,
every failure, every fear.
I would toss them into fire
and watch them burn to ashes
and dance with forgiveness
and love over them.
I would open everything:
doors, gates, boxes,
lockets, windows,
wide open and flowing,
letting everything in
and everything out.
I would take long walks
just to see where a path led
and I would let my heart bleed
or sing in every moment
without fear or judgment.
I would be kind to myself,
and loving,
and tuck myself in,
and congratulate myself,
and hold myself with tenderness
and I would be joyful.
I would pray every day,
every movement, thought, or task
made an offering,
a gift to the divine.
I would relax and surrender
and let myself be
in the moment
every moment
for all time.