A column published today in the Salt Lake
Tribune relays complaints by single people about the way they are
perceived and treated in a family-oriented society. Health
Columnist Liz Hale asked readers to share their views. Here is
what some of them had to say.

D.
Olson of Salt Lake City writes, "I've had it up to my eyeballs with the
invitation to bring that unclassified 'guest.' When you know I'm
unmarried and not dating anyone, just exactly who do you expect me to
bring? You might as well address the invitation to 'Ms. Jones and The
Easter Bunny' because whether you party-throwers realize it or not,
bringing a friend, a first date, your little brother or grandma, just
does not feel kosher - no
matter how much you try to reassure us singletons that it is. So sorry,
I'm a no-show this year. My guest and I have other plans!"

Peter Iccabazzi of Salt Lake City has this perspective: "I've been
single and it's the only way of life I know so I cannot speak for those
who are divorced. From the time we're young, it seems we're taught to
find that 'special someone' and have a family like everyone else. When
we don't do that, people assume that we're not 'getting out there'
wherever 'there' may be, or we've had bad experiences, or we're scared,
gay, have low self-esteem, or whatever thought comes to mind. Finding a
significant other seems such a societal norm that when those of us who
choose not to follow what society does, it's deviant, anti-social, and
so on. Being single is like being married . . . in that a choice is made
to do so. Which, is more acceptable with my generation that that of my
parents. Don't worry, mom and dad, you're not a failure; I've turned out
OK."

Leo Jenkins of Salt Lake City writes, "Some people . . . believe
[they can] motivate someone who is single to get unsingle. Some people
feel that they have tried to help and that [their efforts] should count
for something. In my opinion, they aren't taking enough time to
understand the plight of the single person in order to offer advice that
shows understanding. I've learned from my divorce that life can be cruel
to that which isn't understood. Divorce is not understood by many and is
feared by some, or it's just too taboo to talk much about it. I found in
dealing with divorce that you can gain an understanding of anything if
you are patient. When someone tells me I'm a 'menace to the
neighborhood' because I'm over 21 and single, I now know that they
haven't taken their . . . time to understand before opening their
mouths. It's tragic that some people can age so gracefully and yet be so
ignorant of life around them. Can you trust them? I can't. With time, I
overcame what scared the hell out of me, initially. Why can't they? They
have a better place from which to learn about divorce Ð that is to say,
learn before it hits home!"