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If Father were preaching today, he could choose any of the readings as the basis for his homily. But as a married deacon, I feel kind of obligated to talk about the first reading from the Book of Proverbs, especially if I want to avoid any painful consequences later at home. It’s not that Father can’t talk about the virtues of a good wife. It’s just that I can speak from experience.

“When one finds a worthy wife, her value is far beyond pearls. Her husband, entrusting his heart to her, has an unfailing prize.” You don’t have to be married to understand this statement. I know lots of men who have worthy wives. But, thanks be to God, I can include myself in that blessed group.

“She brings him good, and not evil, all the days of her life.”

The writer goes on to describe other virtues of a good wife and ends by saying, “Charm is deceptive and beauty fleeting; the woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her a reward for her labors, and let her works praise her at the city gates.” All I can add to that is “AMEN!”

Some people in the 21st century will look at this and say, “Wait a minute! This is sexist language. Women aren’t meant to take care of men. We’re all equal!” To that I would say, “yes, we’re all equal in the eyes of the Lord but we’re not the same. Just today (yesterday) there was an article in the Post about remarriage. Don’t misunderstand what I’m about to say. We all know the Church doesn’t condone divorce and remarriage. Marriage is ‘til death do us part. But we also deal in reality and we know that spouses die and marriages end for other reasons. The point is that research has shown that newly unmarried men are almost twice as likely to get married again as newly unmarried women.

The conclusion of the research is that this is because men need someone to take care of them and women aren’t necessarily excited to take on that role again. Another example of researchers spending a lot of time and money to find out something the rest of us already know. Women are the nurturers. That’s why God in his infinite wisdom made women to be mothers.

A case in point. Last week Mrs. Buckley was out of town for a couple of days. I hated it. She makes this trip every year and God knows she deserves time for herself. But I can barely function on my own.

“When one finds a worthy wife, her value is far beyond pearls.”

Forty-six years ago this week, I moved out of my mother’s house and moved into our house. I’ve never lived alond. I’ve never had to fend for myself. I’m not much of a cook. I don’t know how to do the laundry. I’d rather sleep on the couch than have to make the bed. I totally missed an obligation I had on Friday morning because my alarm didn’t go off and there was no one there to get me up. Frankly, I’m pretty useless when it comes to taking care of myself. This may not be politically-correct, but it’s just the way it is.

The article in the Post pointed out that older men who remarry are much more likely to marry a younger woman. I think it’s because older women know better. Been there, done that. They’re not interested in becoming caretakers for another helpless old man. Of course, there are exceptions. Two older riends of mine were married a few years ago. Both of their spouses had died. But, they had been living alone for a while and the husband had figured out how to make it on his own. For the record, they’re very happy. They do things together and they do things separately. God bless them. I think they may be the exception to the rule.

This brings me to today’s Gospel. We all know the story of the talents. The servants who used the master’s money wisely were rewarded. The guy who buried his share of the money in the ground, not so much. God has given all of us talents which we’re supposed to use. Whether we use our talents to earn a living, or to take care of our families, that’s what God wants us to do.

A perfect example of using our talents was on display here at Saint John’s last Sunday. We’re blessed to have some very talented cooks. We have people who can organize things and get things done. We have a deacon who’s smart enough to stay out of their way. Today we have over $6,000 in the bank that wasn’t there a week ago. We also have new friends who came and saw what a group of dedicated people can do when they invest their God-given talents for a common cause. No one person was responsible for our success. It was a group effort and there’s no doubt that the Holy Spirit was present to help us and guide us to use our talents in the most productive way. It’s all about teamwork, and sadly, some people who prefer not to be part of a team chose not to participate. My prayer is that we can continue to work together, as a team, using our various talents and skills to build up the Kingdom of God in our small corner of the world.

Frankly, fund-raisers are a lot of work and can be a pain in the you-know-what. But I don’t look at the events we hold here as fund-raisers. The money is nice but it’s only a way to keep score. We made more money this year than we did last year, so some might say the event must have been a success. But our mission here isn’t to sell goulash and beer. Our mission is to make disciples and that’s much harder to measure. But from what I saw, we did God’s work last Sunday and I know that He will continue to bless us. And make no mistake, our devotion to the Holy Infant of Prague is a big part of everything we do that’s good.

I’m sure some of you are wondering about “the window” and some of you may not even know about it. Late Wednesday night someone threw a brick through our beautiful Nativity window. They tried to break several other windows, but the Plexiglas covering did it’s job, stopping any further damage. We have insurance which will cover most of the cost of the repairs, but it’s still discouraging that someone would deliberately damage something so beautiful Your first reaction is probably the same as mine; anger, disappointment, confusion. As a flawed human being, when I first saw what happened I wanted to catch this person and see that they’re punished.

But since Thursday morning, the story was covered by Channel 2 News and the outpouring of support has been amazing. We’ve heard from current and former members of the community who want to know how they can help. We’ve found out that we have a lot of support in the community. We’re fortunate that the company who originally created the windows is still in business and they’re dedicated to restoring the window to its original glory.

The publicity generated from this unfortunate event has been very positive. While it’s only human nature to be angry with the person who did this, we have to understand that this person has some serious issues. A person who would attack a house of God needs help. Rather than be mad, it’s important that we pray for this individual. God creates good out of evil and it’s up to us to make that good happen. We’ve gotten support from friends and strangers in South City and from throughout the Saint Louis area. Even a friend of mine, a protestant minister who lives in Wyoming, offered his condolences.

Thanks be to God that the damage can be repaired and that no one was hurt.

Saint Louis is bracing for potential violence and property damage on a much bigger scale when the Michael Brown grand jury verdict is announced. If and when it happens, we at Saint John Nepomuk should have a greater insight into the bigger picture. Everything happens for a reason and great good can come from evil. As Catholic Christians, our task is to pray. Pray for our city and pray that the basic goodness of people will win out. We must also be vigilant. While Ferguson may seem like a long way from us, violence and property damage can happen anywhere, even right here at our own church.

I’m going to end with a personal story. My son and his wife live on Nottingham in South Saint Louis. Nottingham is one of those streets where Halloween is a big deal. Jan and I were there to help give out candy to nearly 800 kids. The neighborhood is almost entirely white but most of the kids who were trick-or-treating were either black, or Hispanic, or Muslim.

There were no problems. The kids were well-behaved and polite. There were times when there were thirty or more kids lined up at my son’s house to get candy. There was no pushing or shoving. Frankly, it was an awesome experience. I couldn’t help wondering, where was CNN? Where was Channel 5? Where was Mayor Slay? The media has painted Saint Louis as the epicenter of racism and violence of the entire country. Yet, something as simple as Halloween brought all these different people together just to have a good time. That’s our city. That’s who we are. A few agitators, many of them from out of town, have given us a huge black eye. But we know better.

Jesus said “a little child shall lead them.” Maybe when the Grand Jury makes its announcement, we should all give out candy. Wouldn’t that be nice?

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3 Responses

Hi- I would like to request prayers for the victims of rape and abuse by members of the Catholic Church. Many of them were children when they were attacked or abused. This is also an ongoing crisis, with new victims each year, worldwide. I will remember them and their stories forever, but for the healing to truly take place, it will take the voices and efforts of many. To paraphrase a poem by an Indian schoolgirl, “Too many Catholics, in too many countries, speak the same language– of silence.” Thank you.

Ordinarily I send anonymous comments to the trash, but in this case I’m making an exception. I agree that we all must pray for the victims of rape and abuse, no matter where these crimes occur. I also agree that too many Catholics are silent, preferring to look the other way. On the other hand, I believe that at the present time the Catholic Church is a very safe place. No one has done as much as the Church to prevent abuse, especially where it relates to our children.

Catholic clergy, including deacons, are under a microscope. Even though my particular congregation has virtually no children, I must submit to an annual background check. I’m also required to take a monthly quiz on issues of abuse. Granted, the Church has handled many of these cases poorly, they have definitely stepped up their efforts today. Many of the so-called “new” cases of abuse are actually people coming forward claiming abuse that happened decades ago.

These people certainly have a right to be heard. However these continuing revelations, highlighted as they are by the secular media, give a false impression of the current situation.

I’m afraid many of us, especially clergy, too often remain silent, not just on this issue, but on many controversial topics. After all, we don’t want to anger any large contributors. I agree with “anonymous” that those of us who have large megaphones should speak out about sin, wherever it is and whoever commits it.

But, please don’t throw out the baby with the bath water. Our faith shouldn’t depend on the actions of sinful human beings. We must all work within the Church to effect change. Thanks for the comment and please don’t be afraid to tell us who you are.

I received that same anonymous comment on my blog. Though I deleted the comment from the combox I decided to use it as the focus of a well researched (in my humble opinion) article on the abuse crisis that our world (not just any one church) faces. I think you (“Anonymous” or anyone else) will find it to be an open, honest and fair look into the real crisis of sexual abuse in our country.