Choire

Now that Britney and Lindsay have retired from crotch shots, it's time someone filled the unwanted nudity void. And who better to do so than incredibly overexposed trannie Amanda Lepore and her rock hard nipples? As punishment for their sins, we sent Intern Stephanie and the one-and-only Nikola Tamindzic to Taschen's SoHo store where photographer-music video director-celebrity loverboy David LaChapelle and his favorite shemale gal pal autographed copies of his most recent collection, Heaven to Hell. View our gallery here or Nikola's here.

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A mob of hipsters wearing red fishnet tights or black leggings took up an entire block on Greene Street. The line wrapped the corner to Prince Street. Immediately, Amanda Lepore had a nip slip. That's probably not an issue for her.

The Taschen store is a bizarre combination of Urban Outfitters and Alice in Wonderland. So. Many. Bright. Colors. The DJ was on pop songs from the early 90s.

Dave LaChapelle lip-synched "Hot in Here" by Nelly while the freaks and geeks in line looked at each other with bewilderment. Up next were two *N Sync songs: "Bye, Bye, Bye" and "Tearin' Up My Heart." Dave took a break from signing to do the "Bye, Bye, Bye" dance.

The after-party resembled the cafeteria of "Mean Girls." The cool Asians hovered in the corner. The desperate wannabes danced to "Billie Jean." The burnouts alternated between staring at the desperate wannabes, their RAZRs, and their drinks. After someone started square dancing to "Don't Stop Movin" by S Club 7, it was time to carry our four-pound Taschen books home.

Dave signed mine, but his handwriting is impossible to decipher. Hope he said something funny. Or nice. Like a high school yearbook. BFF. Something.

At midnight, Ms. Lepore was seen at 14th Street and Seventh Avenue, perhaps leaving Plumm. She was all in white, and escorted by what looked like three fellas from Staten Island. Of course she was!