August 28, 2007

My Uncle Scott who was serving in Iraq, was killed yesterday. He was deployed last October and was due home September 8, 2007. Please pray for my aunt Leslie and their two children, Tyler and Ally. He knew the Lord so we know he is in Heaven rejoicing with our Father but it is still a difficult time for the family. Thank you for lifting my family up in prayer!

August 22, 2007

Recently Mr. Clean and I have had to walk through something extremely hard. Something I would never hope anyone has to walk through although many have. I share only a little because I don't feel the need to broadcast my heartaches so that people feel sorry for me but I do want to share because God has loved on me and brought me to the other side.

I have to be honest with you, I have sat in church singing about how great God is at all times and how I will trust Him at ALL times. I have walked through trials before and in the midst of them given the Lord complete control and trusted in Him. I have to admit that the trials that I have walked through before were never great ones. They were never life or death or starvation or violence. I am not dismissing them but they were little problems so it was easy for me to hand them over to my Father.

I was faced with a decision to wallow in sorrow and grief or truly trust in Him. I was a mess at first but then the Lord met me one night. I began to speak out the words "I Trust You" and "Your ways are not my ways and I don't have to know why, I just have to know that you love me" and then the next words out of my mouth were "Thank You Lord" WHAT... what was I saying? But at that very moment, the sorrow and the pain lifted from my heart. I'm not saying that it doesn't hurt from time to time but I am not stricken with heartache. I trust Him and I might never know why but that's ok because I know He loves me and that He will never leave me...NEVER! I hold on to that because that's His promise to me.

Thank you Lord for who you are, you never change. You love me with an everlasting love that is not conditional to how I act, what I say, or who I am...You love me for me. Lord I trust you and I ask now that all my sisters out there who don't know how to trust you completely, would come to give you everything no matter what the circumstance. I ask for your perfect love to surround them and that they would know you in your fullest and walk out their destiny. Amen.

August 10, 2007

August 8, 2007

Please pray for me. I have been under spiritual attack the last couple of days. You see I have made the decision to step out and pray for anyone who asks and then some who don't. So, I began by praying for Audit mama's right knee and a couple of days later the pain was gone. I prayed just a few days ago for my husband's right knee and the next morning all the pain was gone. Praise God for taking all their pain away and healing them! 2 days ago I all of a sudden got this pain in my right knee... so bad that I could hardly walk, Mr. Clean had to help get into bed. I knew that this was an attack on me for praying for healing so I rebuked the enemy and claimed healing for myself and thanked God for giving me the courage to overcome and step into His will.

I believe that there will be more attacks on me because I do NOT plan on stopping. I want to be obedient and see how God is healing His people. I am so grateful to be apart of it. So if you think of it please pray for me. I want to accomplish all that God has for me. I know it is not me that is healing these people but totally God. I also believe that there is going to be an outpouring of anointing for healing so be prepared. He is looking for willing, available vessels.

August 7, 2007

So, if you are like me, you are always looking for ways to bless people. I know many of us don't have lots of funds but that's ok. You can bless by praying for the Liberia Team. This team from CCC will be going to Liberia, October 13-22, 2007. The team consists of Tony & Tammy Adamo, Judy Barkhimer, Andrea Bean, Naomi Dudek, Phil & Diana LaRose, Zoe Monserrate, Stephanie Reylek & Anna Peachey. They each have to raise $3500.00 and many are short. Please pray that the money comes in so that each team member doesn't have to be concerned about the finances of the trip. We also need prayer warriors for these people who are going into minister to many people. A list of needs is outlined in Naomi's blog so please take the time to read it and pray, even now, for this team.

August 6, 2007

Four jobs I've held:1. Time share motivator... the person you hate while on vacation...Sorry I needed the money.2. Mobile roller skater coordinator...hahaha I had a job that rhymed3. Greens keeper at a golf course4. housekeeper

Four movies I can watch over and over again:1. Goonies2. My Big, Fat, Greek Wedding3. the sound of music...Don't laugh4. A Walk to Remember

August 2, 2007

I have been reading blogs lately that are just down right honest and I love it... being the truth seeker that I am. I love it when people especially Christians are honest with themselves and with others even when it means telling the world that you don't have it all together. No one really does have it all together so why do we feel the need to pretend or put on a front around our peers that everything is great and we couldn't be more perfect. Yuck even typing that makes my stomach turn. I literally get sick when I hear or I am around fake people... that is how God wired me to be so I live with it and actually like it.

So, now that you know a little more about me than you bargained for I want to share with you my struggle. I am a very secure person except when it comes to the call on my life or when I am forced to minister to people. I say forced because the Lord really does have to force me. I know I know... I'm working on it. I feel as though who am I to pray for this person or who am I to speak into that person's life? I know it is the enemy trying to hinder me from being used as a vessel of the Lord but I can't shake it. I pronounce that it is not me but the Lord using me and that the enemy has no ground but there is still an uneasy feeling and a doubt that rises up inside me. I am a real good behind the scenes person but ask me to step out where I can be judged, mocked and ridiculed and I want no part in it.

Being on the Ministry Team has been a huge step for me and I feel as though I have made huge steps pursing the Lord and honoring Him but I still lack the confidence because I look to my flesh for the courage instead of looking for my God given courage in Him to pursue the next adventure He has for me.

I want nothing more than to go after what God is doing now in this present time. I don't want to miss Him because I am too scared to go after it with everything inside me. I get so frustrated with myself because I can be in front of a crowd and speak, crack jokes and be real with them as long as I don't have to "minister" to them. hahaha I am a mess, please pray for me.