Wednesday, November 28, 2007

mid week funny - ouch

This email is currently doing the rounds - v funny

> > Brad,> >> > It would be difficult for me to be any more miserable right now, I > > feel like the worst person ever. First, let me start by saying > > that I am truly truly sorry, and I hate myself for hurting you. Of > > all the people in the whole entire world, you were honestly the > > last person that I would ever want to wrong in any way. There is > > no excuse at all or anything that happened, so I won't even try > > other than to say all of us had WAY too much to drink, and I did a > > stupid thing. I can handle you being p1ssed at me, I absolutely > > deserve it, I can even handle the ugly words that were exchanged > > between us, what I can't handle is thinking that you see me as a > > different person. It is weird, The world looked funny yesterday, I > > couldn't crack a smile if you paid me, there are songs I can't > > listen to, and I just feel beyond crushed. I don't know if you > > meant everything you said to me, and I am hoping that you didn't. > > I know that I was wrong on many levels, but I am also hoping that > > this is something that we can deal with. I know it sounds totally > > crazy and stupid, I can't imagine my days without you. It is > > totally strange and weird to say that, and you could say that my > > behavior didn't reflect that, and you would be correct. I hate > > feeling like you hate me, and I hate feeling like all of your > > friends think I am a terrible person, because I am not. I know > > there is nothing I can say or do to take back what happened.> > I am so sorry.> >> > Elizabeth> > RESPONSE:> >> > Dear Elizabeth,> >> > Thank you for your concern. I'll be sure to file it away under "L" > > for "Long-winded diatribes from drunken whores I couldn't care > > less about".> >> > You did a stupid thing huh? No...doing long division and > > forgetting to carry the one is "a stupid thing"; Mixing in a red > > sock with a load of whites is "a stupid thing"; Blowing some guy > > in a bathroom for 45minutes while I sit at the bar wondering if > > you're taking so long because you ate too much bran that morning > > isn't as much a "Stupid thing" as it is grounds for permanent > > removal from my social calendar.> >> > To be honest, I'm not sure if it was more amusing that you went > > and degraded yourself in a public toilet not once but twice in a 2 > > hour span, or that you seemed to think that by saying "Well, I > > didn't F**k him" somehow gave you a clean slate. So forgive me if > > I couldn't care less if the world "looked funny" to you yesterday. > > Since your world revolves around blow dryers, golden retrievers, > > Prada Bags and Jelly Beans, I'm sure it must have been most > > unsettling to actually have to consider someone else's feelings > > for 24 hours straight. The good news for you is that my friends > > don't think you're a terrible person, they just think you're the > > average run of the mill cum-guzzling blond who commands about as > > much respect as your average child porn collector.> >> > By the way, for the amount of time you claim to spend in spin > > class you really must be doing something wrong to sport the > > thunder thighs you do. Watching you parade around my bedroom in a > > thong was a little like watching sea lions mate. Thought you might > > like to know.> >> > PS. I forwarded about 100 people on this email.> >> > Talk to you never,> >> > Brad