I heaved myself from under the oh-so-heavy, oh-so-warm, oh-so-I-don’t-want-to-leave you duvet. I reluctantly slid my feet into my flip flops and shuffled to the door.

“Yes?”

Silence. Interesting thing about this hotel. If staff knock at the door, they won’t speak to you until you open the door. I opened the door.

“Good morning, madam! You have the iron?”

I stared at her. Was she asking me if I had the iron, or I wanted the iron? What did it matter, the answer to both was no.

“No,” I said sleepily as I shook my head.

“You do not have the iron?”

Now I’m wondering why a hotel with 40 rooms only has one iron. Surely there is a misuse of an article happening here.

“No, I do not have the iron.”

“You really do not have the iron?”

“No, I really do not.”

She appeared completely perplexed, not sure what to do next. She looked at me, then with utter amazement said, “You were sleeping?”

Yes, I was sleeping. Which I don’t find that hard to fathom, considering it’s 6:30 in the morning. Yes, it’s light outside, but still. Yes, I requested a wake up call, from your establishment, at 7:15. Which would indicate that I would be sleeping until that point in time.