If we subbed in some cheaper legs – those of Michael Flately ($40 million), we could bring the price down to ($74.9 million). But this horrible chimeric she-goat with breasts, chest-hair and walrus moustache would also dance about as if it has left the coat-hanger in its shirt, and was trying to kick off its left knee cap with its right heel.

There are a few other savings we could make along the way too, but let’s not get too bargain basement about this.

Also the finished product would look nothing like the androgynous chocolate orange of a crash dummy over there → . It would rather more closely resemble a breasted leprechaun mobster working in a kitchen in the 1970s.

Which would have been an altogether better model for an award statue to boot.

Or given the pace that gene technology is gathering, the American Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences could just clone a fleet of them, and donate one to each worthy celebrity who makes a film with enough marketing clout to attract their attention. Like in Harry Potter. I think. But better insured against injury in the work place.