Armin Van Buuren: Intense

Armin Van Buuren

Intense

Armada

The opening, title track is nearly nine minutes long and we have everything we’ve come to expect from Dutch trance producer Armin Van Buuren condensed down into the one track. There’s a gorgeous string opening before the pulse kicks in, it’s almost stadium dance music at one point but it’s also still got a touch of the basement club non-sheen to it. Oh, don’t get me wrong – I think it’s awful. God-awful.

But then I’ve never liked his music – I don’t consider it music.

On and on it goes, running laps around itself on the track, never improving, not growing fitter, simply existing, sweating, breathing and – given the length of this album, an absurd 80 minutes, you would also have to say breeding. For from that almost sublime (but nonsense) opening track we get the pop-song This Is What It Feels Like and the ballad with icy bits, Beautiful Life. And then we circle back around again and again. For more and more (and sadly more) trance. Hard to believe this ghastly non-music hasn’t been outlawed.

I thought I’d left MTV on and there was a marathon of the one dance music track they play between their reality TV show marathons. And then I realised I never watch that shit. Just like I’ll never listen to this shit ever again.