Sunday, November 21, 2010

Joseph8:57 pmHaha.But seriously.I was molested last night after you left.Katie8:57 pm...

by whom?

the homeless woman?Joseph8:58 pmNot this time around.You remember the douchebags on the third floor?Katie8:58 pmyesJoseph8:58 pmWell they were getting crazy and they had people coming in and out for a while.Around 1:30 I was in bed and I heard the buzzer. Taylor called my name.Joseph8:59 pmShe was like, "These douches outside say they were locked out."T_TI go out to see who it is and I open the door.These two guys come in stumbling.The one grabs me in a bear hug face to face and starts humping me against the wall yelling, "YOU A BIIIIG MUTHAFUCKAAAAAA!!!!!"I stood there like, "T_T....Get the fuck off of me."Katie9:00 pmhahaha woooooowJoseph9:01 pmThe other guy went upstairs and the humpydude followed but started talking to Taylor.I was like, "GOOD NIGHT."Joseph9:01 pmAnd slammed our apartment door in his face.</rape>Katie9:01 pmhahaha well thats awesomeJoseph9:02 pmI was super pissed.Katie9:02 pmI don't doubt it!Joseph9:03 pmI was tired, and I was trying to play this sweet Shawn the Sheep game and we get a douche delivery overnight shipping.Joseph9:04 pmThe worst part is that I think he had a boner...

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Joseph8:54 pmA squirrel barked at me today...Katie8:54 pmI feel like you are probably hallucinatingJoseph8:55 pmIt was real life.Seriously.Well, listen to this monstranity.Katie8:56 pmMust I?Joseph8:56 pmT_TKatie8:56 pmFine. ContinueJoseph8:57 pmI woke up this morning feeling incredasick.Joseph8:57 pmYes I just said incredasick.The combination of incredibly and sick.Katie8:58 pmI still don't see how this justifies a barking squirrel Joseph8:58 pmDOES YOUR INCREDULOCITY KNOW NO BOUNDS?!And yes, I'm making up words today.>_>Letcho boy finish.I got up on the wrong side of the bed, so that's a pretty good indicator that the shit's gonna hit the fan.But I just brushed it off.Joseph9:00 pmWent to Mosaic.Feeling nauseous.Have you tried giving yourself a anit-vomit peptalk?Katie9:00 pm**facepalm*Joseph9:00 pmNo one is there to cheer back at you and it just makes you feel worse.By the time orgo lab rolled around at 12:30, I felt like I was dying.I finished the prelab quiz in 2 minutes, ran to the bathroom and threw up.It was THE WORST.Glasses almost fell in the toilet.Katie9:05 pmAww I'm so sorry! I hope you skipped the rest of your classes. Joseph9:05 pmWell luckily lab was the last thing.Katie9:06 pmOh well thats goodJoseph9:06 pmI went back and I felt better forlike2 seconds.Then I had to sit on the floor.My lab partner was like, "Whaaaat is wrong with you."Katie9:06 pmThe floor? Why the floor? I would have been pretty concerned tooJoseph9:06 pmI was like, "Et tu, Brute?! @_@"Because labs don't have chairs!So I bounced out of there pretty fast.I don't know how I made it down the stairs because everything started to look distorted.And when I went outside I heard this noise.Katie9:07 pmWell, you live in the city, so that's not that strangeJoseph9:07 pmIt was a barking squirrel.It was barking at me.And then it started chirping like a bird.I was scared.It took me 40 minutes to walk home.And I witnessed a traffic accident along the way.Katie9:09 pmI feel like you are making this up and if you aren't then it probably wasn't safe for you to be roaming the streets by yourselfJoseph9:09 pmLook it up.Squirrels bark.Taylor didn't believe me then I force fed her words back down her throat.And I just needed to get home.Joseph9:10 pmI brought a blanket, pillow and laptop into the bathroom and camped out there for a while.Fever.Vom vom vom.Vom nom nom.Too soon.Katie9:10 pmthats nasty, but I hope you're feeling betterJoseph9:12 pmAnd you want to know what was the worse part?Katie9:12 pmdo tellJoseph9:12 pmMy mosaic professor didn't know who Wishbone was.Katie9:12 pmthe dog?!Joseph9:13 pmThe freaking dog.The best dog of my childhood.Katie9:13 pmblasphemy!Joseph9:13 pmAgreed.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Joseph8:53 pmI finally got my headphones.Katie8:53 pmooo yayJoseph8:54 pmI didn't tell you but I checked online for the shipping status around 3:30 and it said they tried to deliver it at 3:10I had been home since 12.No one knocked or buzzed.They didn't leave an info notice.Fuck them.Katie8:54 pmhahahaha

those liars!Joseph8:54 pmSo I drove down to the UPS center and the place is PACKED.Joseph8:55 pmI was angry at that point and I was like, FUCK THAT SHIT.So I went to the front of the line and was like, "Give me my damn package, you damn, dirty apes."Katie8:55 pmhahahahahahaha

i love this story and its not even overJoseph8:56 pmThe only thing that made everything better was the fact that everyone waiting in line was playing Wheel of Fortune together.We were all screaming "BAKED BANANA BREAD" at the TV.Katie8:56 pmhahahahahaha