What the shit is Dwyane Wade doing?

The 2003 NBA Draft was a big one. LeBron, Carmelo Anthony, Dwyane Wade, and Chris Bosh were all drafted within the first few picks, and today are superduperstars and Olympic heroes. LeBron is hands-down the best player in this draft, and you could make a case for any of the other three as number 2. However, recently Dwyane Wade is beginning to lose his fucking mind, as evidenced by his choice of apparel during the recent All-Star Weekend.

Now, I’m not claiming to be a fashion expert by any means, but seriously Dwyane, what the fuck man? I made a big choice a few years ago to buy your jersey instead of LeBron’s, and you are really making me regret that decision. Seriously dude, did you get those glasses at a Bar Mitzvah? And why the hell are you wearing a fucking bow tie? And if thats not bad enough, what the fuck is with the eye patch thing? First of all, everybody knows who the hell you are, so having your name on a sticker ON YOUR FACE is really unnecessary. But to wear that thing regardless of whats on it is just fucking stupid. The Nelly-Orville Redenbacher look is not working.

VERDICT:

please dwyane. you are nasty, and you’ve already won a championship, so i totally understand if you just do whatever you want and don’t care what people think, but for the love of god, you look like a fucking idiot.