So you want to know what it is really like to work on your own…If you have been reading the past months posts you can see that it is a roller coaster. Last month I swear I almost got a full time job. I was looking. The pressure almost got to me. But things are finally turned around. Phew! This is not a lifestyle for “The Planner.” I am sure both my sisters (and parents) look at me most days and shake their head in disbelief (or pity?). They are all planners. They have very good full time jobs that they went to school for a long time for, or are still are going to at night, for. My older sister has a masters and my younger sister is getting hers. They both just got new, better jobs after being at the same job for some years. I have so much respect for them, they are awesome and I love and admire them. Funny thing was, growing up no one would have thought this would be the path I chose. I only got straight A’s for 12 years in school. I was at the top of my class and it was drilled into me that you go to college and get a good job. I did all those things, but half way through getting a physics degree I knew it just was not right for me. I loved what I studied, but to study it for the next 10 years? (Most physics majors were on a PhD track – or I surely was going to be) I, the good girl, dropped out. (gasp! the horror!) I am sure my parents saw me as homeless living out of a box. When I enrolled in art school I saw the look on their face that said, “This is a mistake.” To this day I only have an associate’s degree. I still get asked when I will go back to school. Who knows maybe I will, maybe not. I freelanced out of art school, well, to be perfectly honest, not because I knew that the constant hunt for work appealed to me, but because I had to. I graduated 7 months pregnant. But to me, it was a blessing in disguise. I discovered I loved finding work that I could do from home. I loved the satisfaction of doing it myself, learning as I went. (including making design mistakes that cost my client money – so scary!) But mostly it made me realize that this truly was the lfe for me. I am a really tough boss. I don’t stop thinking about my work for a minute. I love it, I really do. And some days I hate it. That is when I have called the temp agency and said, ‘Get me something, anything! I will work onsite for a while!” And they do. I have never lasted more than 4 months at a temp job. I always ended up quitting when they wanted to hire me. It would have been better benefits, most of the time better money, and that holy grail for parents, STABILITY. But it felt like someone was holding out a shackle and saying, “Here, this one is nice and tight, it is perfect for you!” No thank you. And I had one of those freak-out-gotta-get-a-job moments last month. And I am not kidding, I prayed alot! And I told God if this meant it was time for me to be full time I had would do it happily. But I really, really felt like that was not what I should do. And the freelance and paintings came in before any job offers did. PHEW! It was a close one folks. I am happily very busy again and I love it! And next week, maybe I won’t be so busy. Or maybe I will. That is the life of working at home. For me anyway. For right now. And that little voice that tells me one day my silly dog and cat paintings will provide a very nice, stable income? I like to listen to it, and will try not to drown it out with my obnoxiously loud worry voice.

Ok, girls (I doubt many boys read this site, but if they do I apologize for the generalization) we have all done this. My husband and I are going out for Valentine’s Day. We just got past a rough month and I am ready for a nice evening out. I already told said husband I want to be wined and dined, have surprises and gifts. We are even going to a special valentine’s art exhibit at the High Museum! After all, a girl deserves complete pampering every once in a while and what better day to do it?! So yesterday we are at a store for my husband to get some new pants for a job interview. I am looking around at the dresses. (MUST have new dress for romantic night, right?) So I see it. THE dress. I know without an inkling of a doubt that is will look perfect. PERFECT. I make a mental note to come back to that store the following day and get it. Then we go to another store because hubby can’t find pants he likes. I peruse the dresses here. Hmmm, that dress is cute, that one might work. The other perfect dress seems less perfect now, maybe it wasn’t THE dress after all. Hubby finds some great pants at a great price and home we go. I think, ok, I will come back here and go to both stores tomorrow. Cut to today. AI decide, as I leave the house, that I will go to another store in the complete opposite direction and look there. I mean, I am sure they will have a dress at least as good as the others. I try on 3 then 6 then 8. I give up. Wait! Maybe skirts and tops. I find a maybe dress and a could be skirt and top, but they don’t FEEL right. They are ok, but not not perfect. I put them on hold and leave the store. Then, I go ALL the way across town back to the original stores. And STILL I don’t go into the one where the maybe perfect dress was. Nope. I go to the second one and try on about 6 more dresses. Nope. I leave. I am frustrated because I know what is about to happen. I am going to go back to the first stinkin’ store and try on that perfect dress and discover it was indeed perfect. And that is EXACTLY what happened. I laughed in the dressing room at the absurdity of not trusting my instict the first moment I knew that this dress was “the one” and how much time it would have saved me if I had listened. I did the ‘at home test’ and tried it on here. I loved it even more. It is THE perfect dress for my romantic date. And I have to wonder, how much time and aggravation would we save ourselves if we would just trust that little voice or feeling inside of us when we just KNOW something is right for us.

So, the dry spell is over and both my husband and I seem to be non-stop working again. Phew! And so he left at 7am Sunday morning not to be home until very late. That left a day to play. And while I do love Candyland, after about 4 games it gets a tad old. And it is NO fun telling your 5 year old who was just about to win for the first time that day, that they have to go all the way back to Plum Fairy’s forest. (you mom’s out there know that is NO picnic!) So it was up to me to find something we could all enjoy and would take longer than 10 mintues to do. Plus find an activity that both my children who seem to have nothing on this earth in common except that they have the same two parents, can play TOGETHER. And so a puppet show came to be. One with Princess Sophia Louise and her very french poodle Fifi, Sir Knight Noah with his mighty shield and sword (“and that feather thing-that goes on top of his helmet, Mom, don’t forget that!”) and the evil dragon Grendal (they let me pick the name since I had to be him – are they trying to tell me something?) They practiced for hours and in the end took over my part so that when Daddy got home we could both watch in the audience. The play itself was fairly chaotic, but I can tell in their minds it was a just-off Broadway success. They asked me if we could do it again next weekend and I was amazed that we got through an entire day with no (ok, not too much) bickering between the two most opposite children on the planet.

You gotta love a design job that allows you to illustrate when you want to. I made this in illustrator today for a poster design for a children’s festival. It is what my Sophie looked like at about 2. A lil’ chunk o’ love.