Showbusiness: Curls, drunken model, music award

Probably the best thing about being a celebrity is that you can wow people with a new look. Take David Beckham’s wife – every time she slides a toe out of her front door, all of the neighbours gather outside to see what she might be wearing today. It could be a dress, they whisper. Or might she have trousers on? Some are convinced that skirts are more her thing right now. And, yet, every single time, she blows our minds. In recent weeks, there have been sweepstakes suggesting that she might one day take to the streets in a set of baggy knickers and wellington boots. We live in hope. The latest famous lady to send shockwaves around the planet is Rachel Stevens – once of progressive rock group, S Club 7 – who thought she’d turn up to an awards do with curly hair! That’s right, curly hair! She’s never had curly hair before, insists on journalist in particular. Is she trying to copy someone else who she saw with curly hair? Should we all have curly hair now? Is this terrible news for people who manufacture hair straighteners? Is this ironic curly hair? Or serious curly hair? So many questions to answer, news desks have been left in a state of total panic. The rest of us have been calmly getting perms.

Elsewhere in the world, Kate Moss turned up at the same awards bash as Curly Sue up there, and was apparently very drunk for most of the show. None of this was helped, of course, by the free booze that was flowing… well, rather like champagne at an awards ceremony. And across town, the bearded pipe-smoking women who like to vote on the Mercury Music Prize decided that a young female rapper called Speech Debelle should be this year’s M People. Here she is…

Josh has been a writer and journalist for the best part of twenty years and has written for modern staples like FHM and Cosmopolitan and The Daily Telegraph and The Sun. He has also written a small handful of so-so books that you can still buy.