About Me

Saturday, November 23, 2013

Mirror, mirror, on the wall...

Instead of focusing on our flaws,
how about we appreciate our bodies for all that they do for us?

What do you see when you look into a
mirror? Dark circles under your eyes, a legacy of too many late nights followed
by early mornings? Laugh lines that bear testimony to the good times you have
had? The first flash of grey at the temples that strikes terror in your heart?
A slimmer waist, the results of a no-carb diet regime? Or middle-age spread
that no number of abdominal crunches can banish? Do you see your father (or
your mother) staring back at you? Or do you see the features of your first-born
in your own crumpling face?

Speaking for myself, I must confess that
I don’t dare look too closely. Well, not first thing in the morning anyway. And
even after a shower and lavish applications of moisturizer, it is best to
maintain a safe distance till the kajal and lipstick are in place. Only then,
with a mask of make-up (okay, minimal make-up I grant you, but you’d be
surprised by the difference it makes) to hide behind can I bring myself to look
my reflection straight in the eye and not wince. And even so, I never allow my
eyes to wander below my chin; yes, like Nora Ephron, I too feel bad about my
neck.

These days, of course, the mirror has
been replaced by the camera phone, as the absolute deluge of selfies on social
media makes clear. The world seems to be full of people staring at themselves
in their phone screens, making the requisite duck face (chin down and
elongated, cheeks sucked in to create hollows, and lips pushed forward in a
trout pout) and going ‘click’. The judicious application of a few filters on
Instagram, and voila, you have a new image to send out into the ether that is
the virtual world.

But while camera phones have their uses,
there is nothing quite like a mirror to get to grips with your own image. Donna
Karan, for instance, famously designs while seated naked in front of a mirror. According
to her, this brings into focus all the many flaws that her body – and by
extension, the body of every woman – possesses so that she can work around it.

Because let’s face it: that’s what we see
when we look in the mirror, don’t we? All our many flaws, some real, some that
exist only in our own imagination. And then, we duly beat ourselves up about
it. If only I had bigger eyes, better teeth, a trimmer waist, longer legs,
bigger (or smaller) breasts, life would be so much better.

But here’s a novel idea. How about we get
naked in front of the mirror. And instead of focusing on all the flaws that our
bodies possess – and in our minds, there are hundreds of them – we try and see
the beauty instead. That instead of beating our bodies up for being fat, flabby
and flat-out useless, we treasure them for all the value they add to our life.

Let’s start from the top, shall we? Never
mind the thinning hair; people start losing hair from their 20s onwards. And if
the grey really bothers you, there’s always hair dye. It’s what lies underneath
that you should be grateful for. The brain that helps you remember both the big
stuff and the minutia of your life: the first time you fell in love; the date
of your wedding anniversary; the moment your baby thrust its way into the world;
the last day to file tax returns; where you left the car keys. Imagine, for a
second, that it didn’t work. Yes, you’re not worrying about your receding
hairline now, are you?

And then, there’s your face; what the
world judges you by. But no matter what you think, nobody else is focusing that
much on the wobbly double chin or even the lines on your forehead. It’s the
expression in your eyes that matters; and whether your lips are drooping down
in a scowl or curved upwards in a smile.

But you know what? Never mind what the
world sees and makes of you. There’s plenty here to be grateful for. The eyes
that allow you to appreciate the beauty of a flowering rose; the nose that lets
you take in the delicious smells emanating from the kitchen as your mom cooks
your favourite dish; the mouth that makes it possible for you to appreciate
fine wines, good food, and the fruits of the season.

Instead of obsessing about how your
breasts don’t look like that French lingerie model, just be grateful that they
work well enough to make food for your baby. That while your stomach may not
have washboard abs holding it in, it can take all the junk you throw at it and
still keep you healthy (well, okay, kind of healthy). Never mind the bingo
wings they have acquired of late, your arms can swing the ball a long way on
the golf links. Your legs may sport a bit of cellulite but they can still take
you up that mountain top to witness a sunset like no other. And your feet may
not look pretty but they can soak up the warmth of a beach and make you sigh
with contentment when you soak them in a hot tub.

There’s really a lot to be grateful for;
so just take a moment and say thank you to your body. It’s the only one you’ll
ever get, so make sure that you cherish it.

1 comment:

Anonymous
said...

a great read for anyone(and by anyone i mean me) who have had body images issues drummed into her(or maybe his) head since childhood. Here are 2 examples , d 1st one for me and d second one is being said for a 2 year old girl