My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

It has been a while since I posted and yes since I have had a chance to be Susan. Life has gotten complicated with my parent’s health and as such I am not able to go out right now, keep hoping for a couple hours here or there but so far not happening. I had to remove my acrylic nails I have had for 16 months as I was unable to get the time to go in and have them done and after 4 weeks growth they were looking bad. I really do miss them and my fingers feel so different. I also had to cancel my Mexican cruise which was so sad as I was so looking forward to it. I really hope our group does it again in the future.

I still do check my e-mail, our group and my Facebook page although not as often so I do keep up with friends. I am not sure when I will get out again but I think about it often. I am sure one of the first things will be to get my nails done again. I may not post much for the foreseeable future but trust me I am still here in spirit.

It is Saturday and yes, I am going to the Escape at least for a little while. It wasn’t till 4 that I thought I could go so I am looking forward to it. I have a lot going on right now so it is harder to plan my Susan time. In a way I think you realize how special that time is when you have to plan a little more to work it out. Susan really is an important part of who I am and it is hard when you can’t express your true self. Any way I started getting ready a little after 4 as I wanted to get to the Escape early. Kate had texted me she would be there so I was looking forward to seeing her as she has not been out for 6+ weeks. Now I took my time on my makeup and tonight I really liked the way my eyes turned out, I wish I had taken a picture just of my eyes. I was done with my makeup and was deciding on my dress, I went with my red one. Now the big choice should I wear my corset. It has been hot the last few weeks and the next 5 days will be in the mid 90’s which around here is really hot but today it is only in the low 80’s so I decided I would wear it and hope I was not to hot. I got it on and I really like the way it looks as it does give me a nice shape, it takes my waist in about 5 inches and the shape of it increases my hips a couple inches so with it on my waist is about 6 inches smaller then my hips and bust, I actually have an hourglass shape with it. The other thing great about it is it makes me sit up straight, I really slouch a lot and I really don’t like it when I do it but I never really think about it unless someone points it out to me, a bad habit. The corset fixes that as it is impossible to slouch in a corset.

I was al ready and on my way about 5:45 and got to the Escape at 6 and went in. Kate was already there so we would get a good chance to talk as we waited for others to show up. I ordered dinner, yes it was a hamburger as I really like their burgers here and it is the first 1 I have had this week. I have been trying to watch what I eat and have cut down on my dairy, Milk, I love milk so it has been hard. I use to drink 2 gallons or more a week not it is less then a gallon and it actually helps. I have lost almost 10 LB’s in the last 3 weeks or so. It didn’t take long for my burger as they really were not busy right now, I had my choice of several parking spots right in front of the door. A quick selfie in the car before going in.

Kate and I talked as I ate it was nice to catch up with her. She has been traveling a lot for work and is also dealing with some of the same family issues I am so we talked about that also. We also talked about how we get ready, what we do first and how we do it. I do my makeup first before I put on any of my girl stuff. Kate was talking how it took her a little longer tonight as she has not been able t be Kate for several weeks and it is true, if you go a while without doing makeup it is a little slower. Now I can get ready in 45 minutes if I have to and everything goes right but I really like to allow 1 ½ hours to get ready, not so much I need it but I want to take my time and enjoy it. Kate and I were both talking about it and we both enjoy the time we spend getting ready and doing our makeup. I really don’t know why other then in my male life there really is nothing to think about, shower, shave, brush my teeth and hair and put my clothes on and for my clothes they are all pretty much the same, pants and a shirt, maybe different colors but all the same. So many more options for Susan. The other night we were talking about our cruise and the formal night and if you think about it for men what is a formal night? A tux or suit, yes there are some small variations of style and color, but for woman it is wide open, so many more options even doing different hair styles. Men never do a different hair style for one night.

It was amazing how fast the night went and soon it was 9, Kate wanted to go check out a place that has some Jazz bands and see which one was there, I stayed at the Escape in case any other girls showed up and sure enough right after Kate left another girl showed up. Now the funny thing is when I put on my corset earlier I was worried about being to hot and that defiantly was nit the case tonight as they had the AC cranked up. I actually got so cold I went outside for about 10 minutes to warm up. Now that is saying a lot as I am usually the last one to get cold, if Cassandra had been here tonight she would have been freezing.

I came back in and they were doing Karaoke and it is fun to listen to but hard to talk any more. Jan and Lynn also showed up so I got to talk with them a little between songs. Well once again it got to me and outside I went again to get warm. I was talking with one of the lady’s ho works here in the Kitchen and she told me their AC broke yesterday and it was so hot inside so today they got it fix and boy did they get it fixed. I went back inside and sat and talked with Jan & Lynn some more. It was about 10 and Lauri showed up, it was good to see her again so we talked a little more. Again, I was freezing so I went and paid my bill and was going to call it a night but Lauri had put her name into sing. Now of course when she put it in it was not that busy but by now it was getting busy. II told her how cold I was and she admitted it was cold in here tonight also so she said I should go outside and warm up, I laughed and told her I had already done that twice so why not a third time.

We went outside and it was still warmer then inside and my cell phone said it was 68 out now. We were talking and Rachel showed up, she is a GG we met years ago at the P-club and after our issue with them she got our group to go to the Sweet home, Bar & Grill. I haven’t been there for a long time as it is hard to get out on Friday nights now but I really do need to go there again as it was a wonderful place. Any way she is a wonderful lady and it was great to see her again. Her wife Heather was also her and it was great to see her also, these really are two special ladies. Well we went back inside and I listened to Lauri sing and she did great and I talked with Rachel for a while, it was great to reconnect with them but again I was getting cold and that was all I could handle so I called it a night. I said my goodbyes to everyone and left right around 11pm. Now I got in my car and yes, I turned the heat on to 76, I have not had the heat on in my car for months and I left it on all the way home. Wow it was cold there tonight. One of the bad things about being female I guess as the clothes are thinner and bare legs and arms and of course open toed heels but still worth it, and it was a great night.

It is Wednesday night and our group, well a few of us are meeting for dinner at the Southland Whiskey Kitchen. We have gone here several times and the food is wonderful and mid-priced, $12 to $25 depending on what you want. I am really looking forward to it as I have not been out since last Wednesday nights dinner, family issues to take care of. Looks like it my Susan time will be limited again so I have to really make the most of it when I get it. But tonight, I will get a few hours with my friends over a nice dinner and what can be better then that. I got home about 4:30 and started getting ready right away. I really do look forward to being Susan, going out with friends and especially getting ready, deciding on an outfit, what dress and heels and of course how to do my makeup. My makeup is pretty much the same as I have found what works for me after years of trial and error, really the only thing I do different is how intense I do my eyes and which color of lipstick. For tonight it will be a little more intense and dramatic. Now it is hard to explain why I enjoy doing my makeup so much as I know woman who hate doing their makeup but for me it is relaxing and enjoyable. I have talked to several girls who feel the same way and yet I don’t know why I feel this way, but that really doesn’t matter. I enjoy it and that is good enough for me.

It was about 6 when I was ready and on my way. I got in my car and opened the garage door and was on my way. I think back a few years and I would carefully look outside and make sure no one was out and if they were wait for them to go inside which during the summer sucked as sometimes I would wait an hour. Now I just go. Now I am not saying I am coming out to everyone, I am not going up to my neighbors and saying guess what I am Susan part time but I am also not hiding it, if they see me they see me so be it. I can’t tell you how wonderful it feels to look at life and who I am this way but it did take me many years to get to this point and a lot of help from my friends.

I got downtown a little after 6:30 and found a parking spot about 3 blocks away and again a few years ago this would have terrified me but I just got out of my car and went and paid for parking and walked to the restaurant, the funny thing is I really wasn’t even thinking about how I was dressed or being Susan, I was just me. I got to Southland Whiskey Kitchen a little before 7 and went in. They were not that busy and the lady asked how many in our group. I said 4 for sure maybe 6, as I was talking with her Melissa n=and her wife came in and Barb right after, this is our core Wednesday night group right now. We got a booth that was big enough we could squeeze 2 more in if we needed which we did. Dee and Gina showed up, Dee is a local girl in our Group and Gina a girl from the Seattle area who was down visiting. They are both going on our Mexican Cruise in October and are sharing a room. I think this was a chance for them to meet before the cruise as Cassandra has been trying to help some of the girls find cabinmates for the cruise to help with the cost. I think I have met Dee before but this was the first time I met Gina and they are both really nice.

We talked for a little bit before we ordered dinner. This really is a wonderful social event as in smaller groups it is more personal and easier to talk with everyone. Don’t get me wrong as I really like and want more girls to come out but if they don’t it is still a wonderful event. Now one of the things besides the cruise we talked about was our group and how to get more girls interested in going out and should we even keep doing the Wednesday night dinners if we can’t get more girls to come out. Now my feeling on this is a big yes, even if it is just a few girls it is worth it. I think going out to these places and letting people see us and interact with us in even a small way is good as they can see we are no different then them, we are just out for a nice dinner and conversation with friends. It takes the mystery out I think. The other reason is to be out with my friends. For me it is not about where we go but my friends ii go with. For those who don’t know I don’t drink, never really have and I am not a bar person. I have maybe gone to bars a dozen times as my male self. Susan goes to these places because her friends go there and for better or worse when we first started going out it really was LGBT bars where we could go and be safe and feel accepted. Over the years that has changed.

When I first started going out it was to go as a group for safety and support, over the years I have become more comfortable and confident as Susan and pretty mush go where I want and will go by myself. I really no longer need the group for that but I do need them for the friendships I have made. My best friends are in this group, and some are more like sisters, family. The going out now is to see them and spend time with them. I really am lucky to have such wonderful people in my life and I would not be who I am without them.

We ordered dinner and our food came and it was wonderful as always, I would recommend Southland Whiskey Kitchen for a good dinner. The staff here is wonderful and our waitress remembered a few of us from last time, I guess we are a little more memorable then the average customer but still makes you feel good. It was just before 9 when we finished and paid our bills, we did talk a little longer till just after 9 before leaving. We said our goodbyes and I walked back to my car and again I really never thought about being Susan or how I was dressed I was just me. I really think if you can get to that point people accept you better as you come across as nothing is wrong and this is just who you are.

It is Wednesday night and our dinner tonight I at Mothers Bistro. We have gone here several times and the food is always good and the staff wonderful. It has been a long week and I am really looking forward to some time with my friends and of course Susan time. It is so relaxing and enjoyable and always make me feel good. Now I am not sure who all will be there as so far, I have only 2 replies that are yes and 1 maybe so most likely it will be 3 or 4 of us but either way it will be fun. I got home and started getting ready as I wanted to enjoy the time. Now for tonight it will be hot outs as it is in the low 90’s right now. I went with my black & white summer dress tonight. I was all ready by 6 and on my way as I wanted to be a little early incase others showed up.

I got downtown Portland by 6:30 and found a parking soot right in front. I went in and they were really busy, the lady asked me if I had a reservation. I said now and she asked for a name and how many and she would get me on the list. Guess it was good I got here early. I told her 4 to 6 as I really didn’t know. Now a couple times we have been here when they were busier but never this busy. Melissa showed up next followed by Barb and Kimberly so everyone who replied about tonight made it. It was a little after 7 but they were able to fit us in, kind of in a corner but we had 4 seats and could fit 1 more on the end if we had any last-minute arrivals which we didn’t as it was just the 4 of us for dinner.

We all sat and talked for a little while before we ordered. We talked about our Mexican cruise coming up in October and of course Wednesday night dinners. We are trying to figure out a way to get more girls out on Wednesday nights. Should we try to find other restaurants, should they be more upscale or more affordable, the places we go for the most part you can get a nice meal for $12 to $20 maybe higher depending on your drink choice. Should we try different nights which also has good and bad. I really do like the idea of going the same night as that way everyone knows which night it will be. I really wish some of our members would give some input. I do know we do like going to dinner and even if we don’t get more people I would hate to see it go away. Maybe I will do a post to see what our members would like to do. Several years ago, we all really needed the group to go out but Portland has become so accepting it is easy to go out on your own and I think that may have something to do with it.

Our food came and it was wonderful as always. I got to talk a little with Kimberly which was nice as this is only the second time I have seen her out, she is one of our newer members. She actually went to The Escape the weekend I was sick, I think only 1 other girls showed up that night so I feel a little bad about that. It really was nice to be out with my friends.

We finished dinner about 8:30 so we still had a little time before they closed at 9 so we sat and talked a little. As we were talking Dimond Dee, Rachal, and Kim came in. they had been down at CC Slaughters and decided to swing by and see who was here so we talked with them for a little while before the went back to CC Slaughters. When we had bigger groups on Wednesday some of the girls would go here after dinner. I get up way to early in the morning to stay out to late so I don’t. maybe if we ate close I would walk through and say hi to those I knew but that would be it. Any way Wednesday nights are still one of my favorite nights out even though they are shorter as with a smaller group in a more intimate setting you really get to talk more and get to know each other better.

It was a little after 9 when we left. It was a fun evening and it is always sad to see it come to an end but I know I will see them again soon and we will enjoy another fun evening out. I really have made some wonderful friends as Susan.

Thanks for reading and be sure and keep up with what’s new on my blog. My blogs are going to my Facebook page again but I still have no idea whay all of my blog post I shared on my Facebook page before July 7th went away and there is no trace of them and I have no way or idea of how to get them back on Facebook. So sad.

It is Sunday and I am going to get a little relaxing Susan time at Starbuck’s. I really do love going out with my friends as they are so wonderful but I also enjoy a little me time as Susan at Starbuck’s. Starbucks is a place you can go and there really are a lot of people there by themselves. I got home a little after 2 and started getting ready. I got to the Starbucks by my house around 3:30 and parked and went in. they were a little busy but there was one open table by the window so I set my computer on it and went and ordered my drink. Once I had my drink I sat down and got out my computer. This was the first time I really looked around and as I said they were busy but today it was mostly young girls. There were 5 groups of 2 to 4 girls and I would guess the oldest age between them was maybe 15. I don’t know why but this is when I feel the most uneasy as I think young girls are more aware of people around them and I did notice a couple of them looking at me but I just smiled back and that seemed to work.

I started off by writing my blog from last night at the Escape, as I have said I really do like writing my blogs as Susan when I am out as Susan. It just seems more honest and real although I don’t know why. I thought I would ad a picture to this blog from my trip to Diva Las Vegas that I thought was cute. Now it is relaxing here at Starbucks and I seem to get more done as I don’t have the distractions I do at home (TV) plus there is just something about being out as Susan. This week I am looking forward to dinner on Wednesday with my friends as we missed last week because of the Fourth of July, I hope everyone had a happy and safe fourth. It is a day we celebrate our countries birthday, the freedoms we have and remember all those who gave everything for those freedoms. I really do believe we live in the best country in the world, no offence to my sisters in other countries but I am proud of what we have her in America.

Now beside doing my blog, sending an e-mail to our group about our Wednesday night dinner and just playing around on my computer Starbucks is a great place to people watch as you really do see a wide range of people here, young, old, male, female, casual dressed and even one lady in heels and a tight dress. Trust me she could get away with that look anyplace. It is funny as when I am out at Starbucks I am really not thinking about how I am dressed or even about being Susan verses my male self. I am just out being myself. There is just something so wonderful when you accept who you are and just be that person. I really think when you can do that you come across to others more naturally and that helps them accept you.

I stayed at Starbucks till 6:30 when they closed and the I decided to go get something to eat at Subway and I went to the one close to my house. Now this is something that is new to me as I go here also as my male self, but they do seem to have a bigger turnover in employees here. I generally don’t go to the same places both as Susan and my male self. I am trying to eat better as I want to lose some weight before our cruise, I have actually lost 6LB in the last 2 weeks, I have been trying to cut out dairy as I read that is one of the worst things for belly fat and that is my problem area. It is hard though as I really do love an ice-cold glass of milk but it is something Susan needs to do.

It is Saturday and I am looking forward to going to the Escape tonight but first a couple side notes. Somehow this past week all my blog post that had gone to my Facebook page disappeared, there is no trace of them any where on Facebook. Don’t know what happened or if I can get them back on Facebook. The good news is the blog I posted tonight for last week also posted to my Facebook page so any of my Facebook friends if you want to see older blog posts you must go to my blog. I will put some links at the bottom of my blog to the more recent ones. Also, if any of my Facebook friends have any idea why/how this happened or how I can get them back I would appreciate the help. Also, our Mexican cruise is just a little over 3 months away, still time to sign up if you want, you can check out our groups web page for more information. We still have 25 signed up to go and we all have to pay by the end of the month so that is when we will really have a good idea of how many are going.

The second thing is for those following my blog you know I have had acrylic on my nails now for well over a year and for the last several months a slightly pinkish color called wedding dress. Now over that time really no one has said a thing but a lot of the women I work with now have really nice nails. A few that had short no polish or polish half worn off now have acrylic nails. Well Friday one of the young ladies I work with who wears no makeup and has always had short unpolished nails came up to me, mind you I really don’t interact with her that mush at work so I hadn’t notice she got her nails done. Anyway, she asked me how often I get my nails done. I just smiled and said every few weeks as needed. She then showed me her nails and how much they had grown out and said you can really see the grow out and its only been 2 weeks. I just smiled and said that’s because you have color and it shows more like it was nothing. She looked at me and said it is pretty cool though. I just smiled and said looks like your nails grow fast and that was the end of the conversation. Well back to my blog about tonight.

As I said I haven’t gotten out much the last few weeks so I was going to make the most of tonight. I started getting ready a little after 3 as I wanted to get to the Escape early, I wanted more time as Susan and I also needed to write my blog form Last Saturday. I have been lax on writing them partly because of time but also, I so much more enjoy writing them when I am Susan. I took my time getting ready and I wore my long black and white dress that is a little tight. This is an old picture of me in the dress, I guess I need a newer one. I was all ready buy 4:45 and on my way. I got to the Escape a little after 5 and there were all kinds of parking, another reason I like to get here early.

I went in and got our table and set up my computer before going up and Ordering dinner. Yes, I had a Hamburger but it is my first one in a week. Lindsay was working tonight, it was great to see her. She used to work her all the time but got another job and now only fills in when they are short staffed. Really all the staff here are wonderful. I went over and sat down and wrote my blog from Saturday. My dinner came and I ate it as I worked on my blog. Now they were not really busy tonight as there is a big jazz festival going on downtown at the water front. I finished my blog and then just played on the internet as I passed rime waiting to see if anyone else would show up.

It was a little after 7 when Michelle showed up so at least I wouldn’t be here by myself. We talked a little she had gone to Reno a couple weeks ago for a few days and we also talked about our Mexican cruise and of course our group and Wednesday night dinners. Cassandra use to send out text messages which we have stopped and are trying to get our members to go to the group and see what we are doing and where instead of texting them as that is a lot of work. It was just Michelle and me for a long time but a little before 9 Jan & Lynn showed up so we had 4 of us. We talked a little more about our cruise, Jan is growing out her hair for the cruise and tonight she didn’t wear a wig. Her hair is still a little short but it really looked cute on her. She will be luckily not to have to wear a wig on the ship. I have always been torn on this as it would really be nice and a lot easier to have my own hair long enough to look feminine but it is also really nice to be able to change my hair style as easy as choosing a different wig. There are good and bad about both.

Karaoke started a little after 9 and there were some new people here tonight to sing and they all really did well. It was hard to talk though with the music but as usual I sang along with the songs o liked. It was about 9:30 and Narcissista showed up. She is not actually a member of our group but comes here every few weeks. I got a chance to talk with her a little between songs. Laurie also didn’t show up tonight and she shows up almost e very Saturday around 10, missed seeing her even though I usually leave shortly after she arrives as I am not the late-night girls I use to be. Also, haven’t seen ate for a while. I texted her last week and she has been traveling a lot for work but should be back soon. Looking forward to seeing her again. Also, haven’t seen Julie for a while as she has been on Vacation. I am hoping she will make Wednesday night dinner this week as I really miss talking with her. I really do have some awesome friends (sisters) and I really do miss them. Cassandra is still taking a break and I really miss her also, I would love to get together with her also even in m ale mode if necessary. They are such a big part of my life now, my family.

It was a little after 11 when I called it a night, but it was such a fun night. I am going to try to get out Sunday for a little Susan time and write my blog and relax as Susan. Thanks for reading and be sure and keep up with what’s new on my most recent blog.

It is the last Saturday of June and I am really looking forward to going out. Between being sick and other obligations, my Susan time has been limited. Now my plan as usual is to try to get to the Escape early between 5 & 6 as this gives me a little more time out and parking is way better. I got home around 3 and started to get ready and of course the first thing I notice I a chip on my nail polish on my toes, it has been at least 6 weeks since my last pedicure. I also noticed one of my nails had what looked like a crack but was really just where the corner was separating from the acrylic. yes, I needed to go to the nails salon. I called Dream nails and it turns out they were busy and Anny couldn’t get me in till 5:30. Now I had a decision to make, be late to the Escape or not get my nails done and I am sure you can guess my choice. I told her I would see her at 5:30 and finished getting ready. I was all done with my makeup and picked a more neutral lipstick, a mauve color and now it was time to get dressed. Now as I was getting a pedicure that would mean no panty hose and flip flops so I picked my white and black summer dress, here is a picture of me from our trip to Hoover dam wearing the same dress.

Now I had another dilemma, it was only 4:15 and I was all ready and I really don’t like just sitting around the house all dressed up so I decided to go to the Starbucks by my house till it was time to go get my nails done. It only took a couple minutes to get there and I went in. they were not real busy so I had no trouble getting a table and got out my computer and took care of some work, wrote my blog from Wednesday, and just relaxed as I waited till it was time to go to the nails salon. Now people came and went and a few sat down at tables but it never really got really busy. It is a good place to people watch though. It really was funny how fast time went. Soon it was 5:15 and I decided to leave and go to the Nail salon which again only takes a couple minutes.

I parked and went in and yes, they were busy, 2 getting their nails done and 5 getting pedicures and 2 waiting but I had an appointment so I only had to wait a couple minutes. Anna would do my nails but another girl did my pedicure, she has done my pedicures several times and always does a great job but I do not know her name and feel bad asking so I guess I will just go on not knowing. I really do love coming to the nail salon and getting pedicures, so relaxing. Sad most men will never experience this simple joy in life. She did a wonderful job and soon it was time for the polish, I had picked out a really bright red called Ferrari which I have had before and really love the color, so wish I could do my fingers in the same color. Soon my feet were done and looked so pretty and now it was time for my nails.

I moved over to Anna’s table and she started on my fingers. She removed the old gel polish and filed them down to get them ready for the acrylic fill and of course noticed the bad nail before I pointed it out to her so she removed all the acrylic on that nails. It really is a fun and relaxing time. She asked if I wanted them shortened and I said yes even though I really didn’t. She put the new acrylic on my nails and shaped them and got them all ready for the polish. Of course, I used the same color I have been for months, Wedding dress but I kept thinking about the pretty red on my toes and so wished it was on my fingers. Now they were busy the whole time with people waiting, so glad I always call for an appointment. It was 6:50 when I was all done and left the salon with my pretty nails.

I got to the Escape about 7:20 and as I feared all the parking was full in the lot so I parked out on the street, I don’t think I have ever had to park on the street here as I always get here early. I went in and Bobbie was there at one of the tables closest to where they do Karaoke, are normal table was full. I talked with Bobbie a little before going up and ordering dinner. I noticed Lee was here at the Bar so I went over and talked with her a little, she was here with another lady and was not sure if they were on a date so I only talked to her for a few minutes before going back to the table. My food came and I ate my dinner they really do have great food here.

I was just finishing my dinner and Robyn showed up. It was nice to see her out she is coming here on a more regular basis now which is always nice. Now as it got later it started to get busier as this is the last weekend of Pride and it was going to be a big night I think. Another girl from our group showed up so we had 4 of us now. By 9 it really was busy and we had others sitting at the other end of our table which I really don’t mind as I didn’t think we would have any more girls show up but Lauri. And it is nice to kind of chat with them. They have 2 long tables that sit 10 and then several 4-person tables and they were all full.

Karaoke started and it is fun although it gets loud and you can’t really talk any more. Those who sang did really well and even the few that didn’t we still clapped as they had the guts to get up and sing. Several of the songs I had never heard before and a few were ones I really likes and those I sang along with, quietly from our table of course. It was almost 10 when Lauri showed up. I stayed a little long but I was getting tired. I can remember a few years back when we didn’t go out till 9 and we closed the bars down. Now by 11 I am done. I paid my bill and said my goodbye’s and called it a night. It was so wonderful to be out with my friends and also get my nails done. I really do need to try to get back to getting my nails done on a week night though.

On a side note this week for some reason all my blogs I shared on my Facebook page disappeared and I mean disappeared. I can find no trace of them. I checked my activities log and even downloaded my history file and there is no trace of them. I am not really good with Facebook so if any of you out there have any ideas what happened please let me know. I will see if this one post to it and if not, I may try and post in manually and see what is going on. I tried to contact Facebook but that is harder then finding the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow so I don’t know what to do now.

Well it has been a busy couple weeks and part of it I was sick and couldn’t get out, actually didn’t feel like going out so it has been almost 2 weeks and I am really looking forward to dinner out with my friends. I am actually planning on getting there early just to have a little more Susan time. I got home from work and started getting ready right away, I wanted to get there with my computer by 5:30. It was just before 5 when I was ready to leave and took time to double check that it was McMenamines and then I packed up my computer and I was on my way. I got downtown Portland and had to drive around a little looking for a parking spot but finally found 1 right across the street and parked.

I went in and they were really busy, the busiest I have ever seen them by a long way so I got a table in the corner room and set up my computer. I then went and ordered a drink and some Scooby snacks (mini corndogs) so good. It was so wonderful to be out again, can’t tell you how much I miss it when I can’t go out. I spent the next hour on my computer catching up on e-mails and the things I didn’t do when I was sick. It was about 5:50 and I texted Melissa to let her know how busy they were. She texted back was looking for parking so I waited. It was 7 when she texted me she was here with Nicole and was wondering where was. Now this made me wonder so I quickly checked our web page and sure enough I was in the wrong place. We go to several McMenamins and I thought it was ringlers pub at the Crystal Ballroom when in fact it was the Tavern and pool hall. I had looked and just saw McMenamines and Crystal Ballroom and miss where it said not the one at Crystal Ballroom. Luckily, they are not far apart so I texted back I was on my way and quickly paid my bill and left. I got to the correct one about 7 :25 when I got there so it was fine but I felt a little silly.

Now Melissa, Nicole, Barb, and Kris were already there so I joined them and we talked for a little while before we ordered. It really was so nice to be out again with my friends. We talked a little about our web page, our cruise coming up in October and of course Diva Las Vegas, Esprit, and just where we would like to go out for dinner and if we should try to mix up the nights to see if we can get more girls out. We all ordered dinner. The food here is good although it is bar food but still a fun night out. We were just finishing up dinner and Stacy showed up so we actually had 6 tonight in all. After we paid our bills we sat and talked for a little longer. It was after 9:30 when we called it a night. It really was fun and so great to get out again.

It is Sunday and yes, I am getting some Susan time. I seem Sunday is turning into my Starbucks day. I don’t know why I enjoy this quiet time so much but I do. I was trying to think back to my first time going to Starbucks and I think it was late summer of 2009 about 9 years ago. At that time, I would go about 7 pm and stay there till they closed at 9. It is funny as I would drive to a Starbucks about 15 miles from where I lived as I was so afraid of running into someone I knew. Back then I would just go and surf the internet on my computer. It really did help me grow as it was one of these nights I first came across the Diva Las Vegas web page and decided to go in the spring of 2010. It really doesn’t seem like that long ago, time really does fly when you have fun. It is hard to believe I have kept this blog since 2006 although back then there really were not a lot of entries and they were pretty short. It is fun though to go back and read the early blogs and remember what id did. I still think keeping a blog or diary about yourself is a wonderful thing to do even if you just keep it private so only you can read. It really is a window into your past and your life. My friend Nicole is doing a blog and w=she keeps it private but she was having fun with it as she can post pictures of her and also track how many times she goes out. You really don’t think about things like that and a blog is a great way to track that. I post in my blog every time I go out as Susan or at least try to. Now there are a few times usually at Diva Las Vegas where I break a day up into to blogs just so they are not too long, I try to keep them about 1,000 words but is still gives me a good idea plus early on I didn’t always write about going out. This is blog 1081 and my 83rd blog of 2018 and we are not yet half way through the year. That means I am averaging about 3 times a week going out as Susan.

Well back to going out today. It was a little later when I got home and I briefly debated if I should get dressed and go out, well not much of a debate really as Susan always gets her way. It was about 3:45 when I got to Starbucks. They were not really busy inside as far as people sitting but there were a lot of people coming in and getting drinks to go. Now the main reason I almost didn’t come out today as it was really hot, almost 90 degrees out and bright sunshine. Susan does not do well in really hot weather as my makeup tends to melt. The Starbucks I go to faces the sun and so it really does get kind of warm inside plus I like to sit by the windows as I can plug in my computer plus I like the view.

I got my drink and the first thing I did was write my blog from Saturday, I really do like writing my blog when I am out as Susan as it just seem more personal to me. Once I got my blog done I logged onto my Princess Cruise planner, I have the app on my phone but easier to do things on the computer. I am trying to get all my information in it as Cassandra says it is way easier and faster if you can have all this stuff done before the cruise. I got some of it done but my passport is at home so I will do that later. I really wasn’t paying attention and it was about 5:30 I looked out and it was raining, the sun was gone and the temperature had dropped by about 15 degrees as my phone now said it was 76 out. Wow this is strange weather we are having here the last couple days. I stayed here till they closed at 6:30 and then went to Subway just down the street to get something to eat. By the time I left Subway it was partly sunny again and 80 degrees out again. I got it to go and went home to eat. It was a pretty ordinary day out but I got some things done I needed to do and had some Susan time as well so it was a great day.

It is Saturday after a long and trying week and I am going to get some Susan time. But first a reminder about our Mexican Cruise our group the rose city t-girls are hosting. We have 29 people signed up but there is still room and time to sign up, just go to our web page and get the information. Now I haven’t been out since last Sunday as I have been sick all week and today is the first day I feel better and don’t have a red nose or at least not so bad that some makeup can hide it. If that is not bad enough it has been almost 3 weeks (tomorrow) since I got my nails done. Now don’t get me wrong they still look great but are rather long and have noticeable grow out so that is a priority as I am not sure if I would have time this week to get them done and I defiantly can’t wait another week. Now usually I try to get to the Escape early so that gives me a little time to work with.

I called Dream Nails and Anna was able to get me in at 4:45 so that was good but now I had the bigger issue. Going to the nail salon I try to be casual but going to the Escape I usually wear a dress and heels and of course my red lipstick. I am going to have to find some common ground. I decided to go with my black skirt and sweater top and my ankle boots that have about 3″ heels which is kind of a business woman look and I figured it would be good for both. Now was the lipstick choice and yes, I did go for the red. I was ready at 4:30 and drove over to the Nail salon. There were only a couple cars but they were actually pretty busy. 4 woman and a man getting pedicures and 2 women getting their nails done. Anna was ready so I actually got in a little early which was nice. She started on my nails and it is always such a fun and relaxing experience. She removed the old gel polish and got them all prepped for the new acrylic and then asked me if I wanted them shortened. Of course, the answer was yes even though deep down I didn’t. she shortened them up and then put the new acrylic on filling the area that had grown out. About this time the man and woman getting pedicures were leaving and as the man walked by me he said you ladies have a wonderful day. Soon it was time for the gel polish and once again my nails looked perfect although shorter. It was about 5 :15 when I was all done. Now here is the funny thing. When I left how it was clear skies and about 75 but as I am getting over being sick I brought my sweater. As I walked out it was dark skies and raining, it had only been 45 minutes, what happened.

I drove to the Escape in a heavy rain, I guess that is the Pacific Northwest as they always say if you don’t like the weather wait 30 minutes. I got to the escape and was able to park right in front which with the rain was nice. I went in and got the table I try to get in case others show up. Really not sure how many we will have tonight as it is Pride weekend and lots of things going on downtown. I did know Nicole would be here as she is in town this weekend, always nice when you know you won’t be alone. I ordered dinner and got out my computer. It was just after 6 and I had just finished eating when Nicole arrived. It was great to see her again and get a chance to talk with her. It was just a little later and Jan and Lynn arrived, they had been downtown at the Pride event all day and left when it started to rain.

The 4 of us sat and talked for a while mostly about our cruise this October which really is coming up fast now. We are all looking forward to this as it will be so much fun. This is my first Cruise and the fact I get to do it as Susan makes it all the better. Now we were discussing what we are taking in other words how much luggage. Now I am doing the whole trip as Susan as are many of the girls as I have always wanted to fly as Susan. But another reason is this will help keep what I need to take down as it will just be stuff for Susan to wear. Now I think I can get it all in one big suitcase and one carry on which will be nice. My only concern and this is because I don’t fly much how do they classify carryon. It has been several years since I was on a plane and I took 1 carryon and my laptop on the plane. But as Susan I will also have my purse so now I am looking at 1 carryon bag, laptop and purse. I am guessing I will have to call the airline and get an answer to that before the flight.

Now it was a little slow here tonight as I think a lot of people are downtown so it may get busier later but as I am getting over being sick I don’t plan to be out to late. A little later another one of our girls showed up so we had 5 of us tonight. A little after 9 the Karaoke started and of course it gets loud and hard to talk. Nicole was the first to leave, always sad to see her go but she will be back in about 10 days and is planning on going to our Wednesday night dinner which will be fun. It was about 9:45 and Lauri showed up and it was nice to see her again, she also had been downtown at the Pride events. I wish I could have gone but it was late when I was able to get out and getting over being sick probably wouldn’t have been a good idea to be outside. I talked with Lauri briefly before paying my bill and calling it a night. It was about 10 pm when I left for home. It really was good to be out again.

About

HI all my name is Susan Miller and I am a crossdresser in my mid 50’s. I live in the Portland metro area of Oregon in the beautiful Pacific Northwest. I like to dress up as a woman and go out with friends. This does not mean I am gay, far from it. I am only attracted to genetic woman sorry guys. I just have a love of all things female, makeup, dresses, high heels and long nails, acrylic nails. There is nothing like going to the nail salon and having your nails done.

Some people may not understand my way of life so I thought I would create a blog to write about it to try to help explain why and how I feel when I am Susan. This will also serve as a record for myself of my life as Susan Miller.

I am not a woman trapped in a man’s body and I have no desire to be a woman full time but I do have a woman inside that needs to be able to express herself. I guess the best way to explain is that I have both a feminine and masculine side to me and both feel right and comfortable to me although I will admit that I probably lean more to the feminine side. This means I am more gentle and caring and more soft spoken and I enjoy a lot of what society would call feminine activities. I just really like being Susan sometimes and I love dressing up and wearing pretty clothes and makeup. Women are so lucky. They have all the cute clothes and shoes while men get plain boring stuff to wear.

Please feel free to read my blogs and leave comments, but please be respectful. I do not judge others and respect your right to agree or disagree with the way I chose to live. I would love to have you post a comment and you may agree or disagree with me and my life and I will not delete it as I think it is important to have all views but if you leave a disrespectful comment I will delete that. Also any crossdressers or genetic girls that are okay with this please feel free to contact me. Also if you have any questions please feel free to ask and I will do my best to answer them but remember any statements made here are the sole opinion of Susan Miller and no one else.