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(to Jasper) Hey, Mcbutt the Crime Dog, I heard you and your litt...

Stewie: (to Jasper) Hey, "Mcbutt the Crime Dog", I heard you and your little chew toy getting it on last night. Keep it down.Jasper: Sorry, little guy, we were playing Clue and he got me in the bedroom with a lead pipe.

Mr. Pewterschmidt: (indicates his wife) Look at my wife! Do you think I love her?!Lois Griffin: Wait a minute. Are you saying that two straight people who absolutely hate each other have more of a right to be married than gay people who love each other?!Mrs. Pewterschmidt: Well, that's what we raised you to believe.