Lead character from a sitcom you’d have begged your parents not to let you stay up and watch, Paul Nuttall, has confronted the lies on his CV by denying that he is a politician.

“I’m a pathetic Walter Mitty who enjoys claiming he has a doctorate and masturbating over fantasies of a wholly privatised NHS exclusively run by and for white English men, with a side ward for when the Doris needs looking at,” Nutall told journalists. “The idea that I’m a credible voice in British politics is as absurd as it is false”

He then abruptly ended the press conference by claiming to have seen a bat signal in the sky and that that was his cue to don the costume of his alter-ego and fight crime. Leaving everyone to agree that it’s easier to believe he’s Batman than someone who has the remotest clue how to run a bath let alone the country.