Marching Band Student

By Anonymous, Coral Springs, FL

Image Credit: Laurie R., Phoenix, AZ

The author's comments:

Original based off of Girl, by Jamaica Kincaid

March smoothly and gracefully; roll your foot from heel to toe; play as if you are not moving; use more air; hold your horn correctly; stand up straight; keep your eyes on the drum major; keep your hips faced to the front side lines; don’t bounce; always look good; memorize this music; use technique; march in tempo; ignore the heat; always run off the field; make your crescendo obvious; double knot your Dinkles; gush and go; but I need more water; wear a white shirt with black shorts for rehearsal; wear your show shirt and long socks for competition; bring a sealed water bottle; remember everything on the check list; stay for the full twelve hour rehearsal; lift your knees high for high mark time; step off on time; flex your feet; you will be sore; put your hair up in a bun with a bow; spray it- no fly aways; with weakness or complaints comes pushups and a lap around the field; with lateness comes a lap or clean up duty; with breaking of rules comes another lap and the infamous club 34; don’t bend your knees; don’t lock your knees; don’t slouch over like the slacker I know you are so bent on becoming; don’t put your head down; don’t play wrong notes; don’t look around; don’t walk- march; don’t show weakness; don’t wipe your sweat off of your forehead; don’t move when you are at attention; don’t keep one dynamic level; don’t look tired; don’t be irresponsible; don’t eat dairy for breakfast; don’t pout; don’t show your pain; no make up; no jewelry; don’t wince when you have to kneel in the parking lot; and do not even think about complaining like a slacker; don’t be the last one on the field; this is how you backwards march; this is how you jazz run so that you not look like an ape; this is how you horn pop; this is how you should stand; this is how you play this phrase; keep your chin up; look strong; make more dynamic contrast; lift your toes higher; ignore the rain; but I am soaking; hold your flute parallel to the ground; keep your feet in time; hold your notes out full value; keep your shoulders back; jazz run like you are not a slacker; drink a lot of water during break; keep good posture; this is how play the correct articulations; put your bag across your left shoulder without covering the eagle; this is how to put your shako on so it is just above the eyes; make a dot book and attach it to a shoe lace; keep a straight face; practice at home; always wear gloves; represent your band correctly; always be mature; be a good role model; always play and march like you are grand champion; but what if the band doesn’t win?; you mean that after all you are really going to be the slacker that makes the band lose at states?

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I'm SO excited for marching band next year (and a bit scared!) I hope it turns out to be super fun, but as for your writing, I liked it! The listing was nice, but I didn't really like all of the questions in between. Maybe try and space it out more..?