R. Kelly. The man, the myth, the legend. Oh and that guy who also probably peed on/had sex with an underage girl that one time. THERE, I said it- it’s out of the way now. See, I’m a lover of all kinds of music, and when it comes to pop and hip hop, there’s really nothing better than the stupidly weird and sexual early 2000s. I mean, it was a time when wearing bindis was a ”thing”, bands kept trying to sing like Eddie Vedder and it really didn’t work, this happened, and no one liked to wear too much clothes. So I feel it’s only appropriate to think of R. Kelly as a king amongst all that ridiculousness, propped up on a golden throne of his own mystique. Sure, he probably majorly messed up a couple of times, but damn, why we all gotta be so negative all the time? I’d like to look on the brighter side of things with this Throwback Thursday, and take a dive into the complex origins of the world’s most famous hip- hopera- a tale with twists and turns like no other, “Trapped in the Closet Chapter 1″ is a true masterpiece in music.

Though- ask any of my friends- I am a DIE HARD fan of his hit and my go to karaoke song, Ignition (Remix) , I feel that Trapped in the Closet is a far more interesting Kellz song (can we even call it that?) to discuss. This video is the first of a subsequent 33 (thus far) chapters so convoluted and involved, it pretty much tops every soap opera ever made. The actual production value of the episodes are top notch too, with convincing actors spewing out their stories in the unmistakable bounce of a consistent melodic theme in E major. These interweaving story lines have it all: little people, drug deals, lesbians, gun shots, strippers, and true love- all the good stuff. But it all starts out with the age old tale of sex, lies, and one man with his trusty Beretta, forced into the darkness of a closet.