Welcome

Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and
others concerned about HIV/AIDS. Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the
conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning: Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive
and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a
username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own
physician.

All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators
of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please
provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are
true and correct to their knowledge.

Camms-- Now I know me and you would get along...That is my fave game. I have a Ps3 but I really don't like it because they don't make games I like for it. It seems like the Wii has all the Resident Evil games now. I have Umbrella Chronicles which is for the Wii. Yeah, I bought the Wii. Gonna go to Gamestop and trade the PS3 in for the Wii Fitness. Also, if you're into the Resident Evil movies, the next one comes out in September.

Camms, I take Ibuprofen, 600 mgs up to 3 times a day. I'm also on Truvada, and have had no ill effects. I know all about ES Vicodin. I used to be on that, besides Morphine, Xanax, Valium and an amphetamine, just to keep my eyes open a few hours each day. But, that's been almost 5 years ago.

I've heard Ibuprofen shouldn't be mixed with Truvada; but, as I've said, I've been on both for awhile; Ibuprofen for years and years, and Truvada since last October or November. Nothing bad happening.

Logged

I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

HI GF"S Its been a while I know just took a break from posting. I see we have new members, Shoutout and welcome!!!Hope all is well. I have been busy, church, choir- they finally let me lead a song, interssory prayer group, vacation bible school- taught arts and crafts, sisterhood teen overnite!!!How about I gave my testimony in front of the whole church???!!!!! thats 2,000 active members. the subject was healing and I said I have aids and I don't care who don't like me !!Well I made myself sort of a celebrity after that ,cause everyones been kissing and huggging up your girl and made a lot of new friends! Poweful testimony!!! my pastor said. Then I got to lead a song Fathers's Day and I got a lot of thank you's, you really bless me!WElll hope all is well, Watching Bet Awards, laterps when will be able to post pics?? BTW Lucy says HI, shes 10 month old and sleeping with her mama, spoiled!!!

I guess I will just comment on what is being said here because I really don't have much to talk about. I have decided that sometime in the near future, maybe by the end of summer, I am going to get a little dog. But I can't decide if I want a chihauhua or a Yorkie. I was watching Dogs101 on the animal channel. I am leaning more towards the chihuahua because it is low maintenance. I'll keep ya posted on that.

Netta--- I am glad you are feeling much better and doing all those things.

Queen- Resident Evil films I've actually seen in the movies. I'm a real film snob, but I have a weakness for apocalyptic zombie/horror films. It's shameful some of the films I've watched...Zombie Nazis takes the cake . Silent Hill was another game I played for hours...incredibly creepy.

Betty- Wow that's a lot of pills. Were you taking them all everyday or just whatever you could can your hands on. You've beaten so many addictions. Did you have to go to rehab for the pills? Whatever you did It's incredibly admirable. What worries me is that I'm on Ativan and I know the benzo's are the worst to stop. I have really bad tinnitus, but I hate taking this stuff. I've already started tapering off and yes, I know it will take a long time.

Netta- That sounds like an incredible moment at the church. I remember when a great man came out and told his story. The reaction was similar. What he didn't know is that I was sitting in the audience, newly dx'd. He made me feel that I wasn't so alone. You probably did the same thing. You never know who you affected that day. It also took a lot of courage

Well, have to take my dog to the vet. Oh yes, Queen, go with the chihuahua. I hear some yorkies can be yappers.

Good Mornting, How is everyone??fine I hope. Yes, ladies I forgot to mention, a well dressed young man came up to me after church that day and told me he was positive! He was very encouraged and we hugged.A kodak moment.Ladies has anyone been able to post any pics yet??? I miss looking at your pic avatars!I am going to play around and try. I have been obsessed with learning about growing my natural hair! I am not going to loc, just want to be able to wear different styles. My hair is very thick and I have been using homemade products I learned from the internet.Anyone watch the BET awards Prince really shocked me! I am curious to know if he is hiv+ , not my business, but some things he said made me think....Oh he didn't sing. He looked very fragile, big as my arm,serious, either he is anorexic or something, about 100lbs if that . he was balding on side of his hair, he looked bad, lots of makeup and high heels, I really love him but I am worried about him, This is what he said when he recived the life time acheivement award, "I was wild back in the day, you don't have to make the same mistakes I made" Then he said he would treasure the award for the rest of his life. hummmmm???He seemed sad. What do you all think???

Regarding Prince, he a jehovah's witness now which he continually reflects on his sinful past with shame. He takes it very seriously. However, I think his choice of clothing was his real problem... the little version of himself (little prince) on his shirt was a bit odd. He's had some health issues with his hips, but because of his spiritual beliefs he isn't addressing them currently. I'm sure that's why he may not be looking all that great.

Netta, there is a thread stickied at the top of the Off Topic forum - it's currently second from the top - that tells you how to post photos. You can no longer add them as attachments, you have to do them inline (that means in the body of the post) now.

If you need more help than that thread offers, PM me with your specific question or problem and I'll see if I can't help you out.

And way to go with the talk - and getting solos too! I remember ages ago when some woman at your church was somehow blocking you from doing solos. You rock, girl!

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Ok, now I am really going to have to watch the BET Awards. From what I read, it was off the hook. Chris Brown did a dedication to Michael and there was not a dry eye in the house. It sounds to me like he is slowly being forgiven for his past transgressions. I wanted to watch it because Prince got the Lifetime Achievement Award. Someone in Off Topic posted the pic of him on the latest cover of Ebony magazine. He looks good for his age just all those splits caught up with him. That is how he messed it up in the first place.

Camms---Yes, I use to play Silent Hill too. And I have quite the movie collection with some zombie movies in there such as all the Resident Evil movies, Day of the Dead, and Land of the Dead. I want to get the original Night of the Living Dead. I just love George Romero. And is likely how Resident Evil video games got started no doubt. I just went out earlier today and bought the Wii Fitness.

Yeah, I almost forgot to mention that. I have heard nothing but good things about it. I am still a little shy about working out in the gym. It has a BMI thingy on it, that measures fat loss doesn't it? Plus I can exercise at my own rate. For now I will leave Bally's for my bf. It has Yoga, aerobics and a few other things on it I can't wait to try.

Camms, I quit all the pills at once, cold turkey. It's not something I recommend. I was in a mental health facility when I did it, and was pretty freaked out. Actually, the pills had me so far down (plus the doctor also had me on large doses of estrogen and Provera), I ended up in a nursing home. I acted so bizarre that they court-ordered me into the mental health place. And that's when I stopped everything. It was an extremely difficult withdrawal. I was in bed for three days (and I mean, I didn't get out). Then, a couple nurses rolled me into the showers, and gave me, well, a shower. Then I went into an intensive outpatient program that dealt with addictions when I got out. Funny, I quit heroin when I found out I was pregnant, booze when I was 24, but the pills were the hardest things to deal with (or not deal with since I don't take that mix anymore). Like I said, I don't recommend cold turkey'ing from benzos, narcotics and amphetamines. People can end up in serious medical trouble (seizures can happen). I'm assuming the medical staff was monitoring me those 3 days; I was so out of it, I don't remember too much. And it took a bit over a year to get my head completely straight. Example: I went into the outpatient treatment probably 2 weeks after I got out of the mental health facility. I used to wear things like sweat pants with shorts over them (my favorite were Korn shorts). In other words, I wasn't thinking clearly. I'm extremely grateful I can still think some, you know, that my brain still works a little bit.

Queen, let me know how you like the Wii program you got.

Netta, I didn't see the BET awards. I've always loved Prince though. I used to dance a lot of numbers to his songs.

Logged

I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

That sounds really intense. We're you conscious enough to know "I don't want to be here" in the nursing home or you were just so zonked it didn't matter? The amount of ativan I take is about 1-2 mg. I finished the pain killers for my tooth so that's a done deal. I started tapering yesterday and I know it will be a long road. I don't have any personality changes, like gym shorts over my pants or anything else I can think of. Like I said in my earlier post, kudos to you. Those are all serious addictions and each one you nailed. You're a tough woman. I bet you would make a great counselor.

Queen- How's the Wii so far? I love Romero. I met him and Clive Barker (weird dude) at film school. My teacher (roy frumkes) was best friends with him and he was a zombie in dawn of the dead ha ha. Land of the Dead was on last night and G asked "this is right up your alley" and I replied "Saw it!". There is a funny mockumentary about filmmakers who start filming "the living dead". The living dead are trying to make it back into a civilized culture...returning to the things they love. They talk and behave normally. I have to find out the name ....you'll get a kick out of it.

Work today on my portfolio. Take the doggie out first before she starts shoving her head between my arm while on the computer.

Camms, I was pretty much wasted, so while being in the nursing home wasn't fun, I don't think at that time there was any other alternative. It's hard to explain. You would have actually had to have seen me, and how I was acting to know what I mean. I was not fun to either look at nor be around. I was hearing voices through the walls plotting against me, and seeing people come into my room after me. That all stopped once I was off the mix of pills. Believe me, I learned my lesson. And it was one psychiatrist prescribing all that (plus a sedative). I don't believe he still practices.

It's interesting to read about your film school. I bet that was fascinating.

Logged

I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Queen- How's the Wii so far? I love Romero. I met him and Clive Barker (weird dude) at film school. My teacher (roy frumkes) was best friends with him and he was a zombie in dawn of the dead ha ha. Land of the Dead was on last night and G asked "this is right up your alley" and I replied "Saw it!". There is a funny mockumentary about filmmakers who start filming "the living dead". The living dead are trying to make it back into a civilized culture...returning to the things they love. They talk and behave normally. I have to find out the name ....you'll get a kick out of it.

I am loving the Wii Fitness. It has a lot of things on it like Yoga which helps with breathing, posture, and stretching. Then you have the option of working on target areas. For me this is my stomach. There is also a hoola hoop game, that is my favorite so far. It has the BMI thing which shows you what normal is and mine is. It says normal is 22, mine is 26. And for my height I should weigh 125, I think that is a little too skinny for me. It weighs you too, I am at 150 right now but it showed me how much weight I lost with changing my diet. I lost 12 pounds just doing that so I know if I stay motivated and work at my own pace I should be able to get down to 135. Thats where I want to be.

Betty- That sounds really terrifying. Once voice, my own is enough to listen too, but when audible hallucinations occur that's enough to make me just feel like curling up. I seriously hope that doctor is long gone because if he was doing it to you, I'm afraid to think if other people were affected by his pill generosity. The altered states that you've experienced is really unbelievable. When you look back at the situation do you think "wow that was some scary effed up stuff, or does it feel like another lifetime? How is the job at this point?

Queen- I started exercising about a week ago. But yesterday I had a chance to realize that I was in need of cardio. I've been thinking about the Wii. I was walking my dog with another person and her dog. She stepped on a yelllow jacket nest and screamed run. I was booking through the woods so fast....full sprint for a half a mile. Her back yard rests on the woods so we run directly into the house. She is stung all over. I didn't get one sting. She smokes 2 packs and was able to keep up with me and I was running out of breathe. I collapsed on the couch and thought I was gonna die right there. I said, 'more cardio is needed in my life'.Have you tried the yoga programs at all?

Film school memories were both an time of learning /art genius and pretentious a holes. I went to SVA in NYC which is a 4 year art school. I met some amazing people some famous some not. I saw a film everyday for a year and sometimes two. I worked in the film business for a couple of years after graduating. But, I'm not cut out for the film business. Lots of sleeziness and back stabbing. You gain relationships with you really come to love and repsect, and then some of these people would take you down just to make themselves feel better about their crappy lives. I know a lot of business have that in general but it's predominant in the film world.

Well have a great day. Hope it's sunny by you Betty. I know us tristate folks are enjoying fall like weather.

Queen- I started exercising about a week ago. But yesterday I had a chance to realize that I was in need of cardio. I've been thinking about the Wii. I was walking my dog with another person and her dog. She stepped on a yelllow jacket nest and screamed run. I was booking through the woods so fast....full sprint for a half a mile. Her back yard rests on the woods so we run directly into the house. She is stung all over. I didn't get one sting. She smokes 2 packs and was able to keep up with me and I was running out of breathe. I collapsed on the couch and thought I was gonna die right there. I said, 'more cardio is needed in my life'.Have you tried the yoga programs at all?

It is day 2 for me on exercising. Yes, I start out with the Yoga for warm up and stretching. It also helps with your balance. Then I usually play the Hoola Hoop game it has which helps with my tummy area. But it is fun too. It has basic workouts you can do until you can do the advance workouts. I do the aerobics and running for cardio. I started yesterday working out for 30 minutes. Today I worked out for an hour. I like how it keeps track of your BMI and weight. Do you have a Wii already? If not, it costs 199. The Wii fitness board and workout game costs 100 bucks,they come together. But if you have an old system or games, you can trade it in for store credit at GameStop. That's what I did. I traded in my ps3 and got 200 buck store credit. I was able to get the Wii fitness and board, my bf got the psp.

Camms, looking back on that period of time, reminds me of how awful addiction can be in my life. There were scarey periods when I shot heroin, and got drunk almost every day, but I never hallucinated. That was some scarey shit. The job is stll here for now. The treasurer's husband was in today, and was looking at what we owe, compared to what we have, and he told the pastor, if there's anyone she can tap for money, to do it. The pastor is pretty lame; I hate to say it, but she is. She lies, and she's a horrible gossip. I know pastors are human, but when people take certain careers, there are certain expectations. So anyway, I'm still employed, but no one knows for how long. It's pretty tense with the few of us who are employed there. The weather the past 4 days has been just lovely. Right now, it's only 76, and hardly any humidity at all. I'm sure in film business there's a lot of back stabbing. How are things with you job wise? This fall, I'm enrolled in a state university (Indiana State, South Bend), to take a Master's Certificate in Alcohol & Drug Counseling. I hope I can make it through that.

Queen, that Wii sounds pretty cool. I've thought before about getting one. The only problem I have, as I know you know, is wth my knees. I can't do any exercise that involves any jumping or running. Is there other stuff you think I may be able to do? All I'm doing right now is working on my arms, and gut.

My sister from Arizona, and niece from Baltimore should be here by the 4th. We're supposed to have a cookout at my sister's in Michigan's (I live about 20 minutes from the stateline). I've also taken Tuesday off, and as you all probably know, the church is always closed on Friday. And they'll be closed on Monday, for the 4th holiday. So, I've got 6 days off. I'd love to do a dance, but I would look ridiculous.

Logged

I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Queen, that Wii sounds pretty cool. I've thought before about getting one. The only problem I have, as I know you know, is wth my knees. I can't do any exercise that involves any jumping or running. Is there other stuff you think I may be able to do? All I'm doing right now is working on my arms, and gut.

They have other things you can do besides the game for running. There is a hoola hoop game, my fave where you move your hips like you were working a real hoola hoop. And you have to stand on the fitness board to play it. There is also Yoga to help you stretch and breathe.

Hello GF's Everyone ok ?Camms- I went to School of Visual Arts also! but had to drop out when I got pregnant. I always wanted t o go back for Art Therapy but never did.

Queen, my grands have a Wii that I helped buy last year. I have been meaning to get the fitness one you have , maybe now I will, just have to get the funds. Betty - glad you have a nice weekend planned !!Hope everyone has a nice weekend. My oldest grand will be 13,on Monday! I am also invited to a cookout an water gun fight by my godson, in the park. I might go, the kids will be at there other grandma and father. My daughter will be with her boyfriend. So that leaves me and Lucy! Btw Lucy was shedding and getting matted so she had to have all her hair cut, she looks like a poodle!! lol she looks cute actually. Thanks Ann /

I hope everyone is enjoying their day today with loved ones and friends. I had plans to go to Coney Island today but changed my mind. It's just too hot, it's in the 90's. I got an outfit, hair done and everything. But I still have a BBq I have to go to this weekend so I'll just wear it then. But going to cook some grilled steak, corn on the cob and potato salad..Yum

sounds good Queen, wish I was there! going to a cookout at the park for a while, just to get out. I am perfectly happy here watching movies! Queen you think its hot there !!!! Hope everyone is having a great holiday!!Camms- I went in 1976 , briefly.

Just briefly checking in. It was hot today, it was 97 degrees out. Thank Goodness I have an ac in my room, the rest of the apartment was hot until around 5. I had to wait for it to cool down in order to cook.

My sister has been keeping me updated on my son. He finally did find a job through a temp agency. But he is upset that the halfway house takes 10 percent for him staying there. And another 10 percent in like a savings for him so that when he leaves he will have a piece of change. He has already missed curfew once, they took away his priviledges for a day. But already his temper is starting to get the best of him. He says he doesn't like the way people talk to him at the halfway house. He had the same problem when he was in bootcamp. I talked to him about this before. And oh yeah, he may have some girl pregnant. She is not sure yet. She has made an appointment with a doctor. Once again, I had this talk with him when I went back home. I am praying it is a false alarm. I am disappointed and frustrated with him. It's like everything I told him went in one ear and out the other.

I told my sister I refuse to let the situation stress me out. Or anyone else in the family. My son is grown. He will learn from his mistakes, I hope. I hate to sound selfish but my only concern is me. There are still some things I need to be doing to be stressed about my son's life. He has already asked to come visit. Though he knows he is still on paper. I was shocked he even asked but I told him not while he was still on paper. My sister I don't get along with is a hater, if she knew he left town to see me she would call his probation officer. But I am thinking why wasn't he thinking like I was? I am also thinking that my son is going to slide back into his old ways. I truly hope not but with this current news, I have to wonder.

Just a small note: I am hooked on the games on Facebook. If I send an invite to you please accept it and just start the game. Even if you just play it for 5 minutes. I will need to add you as a neighbor in 3 games, that is it. So, please can you help a sister out? Tyvm...

Queen, I'm sorry for what your son's going through (and putting you through). I know you say your only concern is you, but I can tell from your post that you're still a bit stressed about it. And who can blame you? My daughter causes me concern all the time. I know I made a ton of mistakes growing up, so I'm sure my mom used to stress about me also. But, we learned from our mistakes, and sometimes it seems our kids don't (learn). I hope the girl's pregnancy test is negative, and I hope your son's situation at the half-way house improves. It's hard being in a place where you have to listen to someone else's rules. This last time I got clean, and was in the mental health facility, I just wanted to be out, to have my own place etc. But, that's the price I had to pay. I'll be thinking of ya, girl, and pulling for your son. And oh, I'm not on facebook. Several people have told me I should join, but I just don't like spending that much time on the computer. Maybe some day.

Yesterday I went to Detroit to see my mom's only living sibling (aunt) and some of my cousins. I went with my sister from Arizona, and niece from Baltimore, and sister and brother-in-law from Michigan. It was a one day thing, and boy, is that a long time to be in the car for a day. Luckily I didn't have to drive. But, it was a good day. My aunt is 86, and still gets around. She drove us to this restaurant where we met some of our cousins. We had a great visit. I'm so glad I went. I was debating on it before, and one of my friends said it's better to go, than not to, and regret it later. I took today off work. My sister and niece, who are in town, were supposed to be coming over here today, which is another reason I took today off. My niece told me yesterday she has to do all this paperwork to get into this graduate (master's) program. So, my sister is supposed to be over sometime, hopefully. Then tonight, we're all supposed to go out to eat. Then my sister (from AZ) and niece are leaving tomorrow.

So, I've been off work since last Friday. And time flew by way too quickly. Tomorrow it's back to normal, whatever that is. Have a good one.

Logged

I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Glad everone had a good weekend! the park was nice. plenty of food, but I wasn't hungry!! lol We stayed till evening and watched the fire works. Monday I cooked on my grill for my grandaughters birthday. she turned 13.Queen- don't get stressed about your son, and NO he cannot come to visit yo uwhile he is on paper !!!!!! dON'T GIVE IN! Don't help him get himself in any more trouble!!You have your own life to live, just pray for him. He has to learn to eat humvle pie till he can do better!!! Glad he found a job!BTW the lawyer called and said I have to wait till end of August to get court date. oh well! and BTW2- Lucy has gone into heat ! help! she started her period! help lol help!!! I can't wait till nex month to get her spaded! I bought her baby diapers but she tears them off, help !!! the pet store diapers were too exspensive but I guess I'll have to get them anyhow/ help !!!!! lol

tendai

netta - dogs menstruate? funny i didnt know that...wonder if they have doggy-tampons.. ha ha. great to hear about your testimony at church, im sure you touched a lot of hearts and lives

your majesty - im happy to hear u're all set up in your new apartment. sorry about the trouble with your son. you're right though. he is grown and should be responsible for his own actions. but as a mother you probly cant help but worry huh

BT- yay you! good for you going to college again.

life here is same ol' same ol'. EVERYBODY is telling me im getting fat and i hate it. im trying to diet but its hopeless. guess i have to drag my fat ass to the gym coz that may be the only way i may lose the extra fat. i blame the meds. yeah thats it.

looking forward to sunday for the world cup final! my boyfriend picked netherlands to win. i was so sure Germany would win but thats out the window now. so now i have to support spain to win. and also becoz Paul the Octopus say so..

I'm finally caught up on this tread. Good to see people coming back and posting.

Netta, lol, my Lab Lucy came out of heat a few weeks ago and it's no fun as you know. All in all it takes about three weeks to be over with. Take my advice and buy the special panties. They are adjustable and just buy cheap pads from a drug store (or panty liners). Don't let the pet store talk you into buying the special doggy pads. I had to change Lucy's pads after several hours. Change regulary or they may try to eat the pad! I know this is gross but I have gone through 3 heats with her. At one point I had to stop putting pads in the panties (just wash the panties and dry on low) because the pads kept disappearing and of course she had eaten parts of them. That can't be good, so just keep an eye on her. Anyway, good luck, LOL!!!

I may post more late, just kind of tired now, but you ladies have me looking at my Wii that has been sitting untouched for quite some time. Time to break out the Wii Fit again I guess!

Logged

Diagnosed July 28th 2003

'I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I just lived the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well.' -Diande Ackerman

'Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is?' -Frank Scully

Haven't been posting due to the heat really. Not much going on here. I am still working out though I had to take a break when the heatwave came through last week. But I have been using my bf's AB-rocker since I have been over his house. When I go back home tomorrow, I will get back to the Wii Fit. Too bad we can't work out together, Holly on our Wiis.I have also decided to cut back on toking the good green. I realized I have been smoking too much and I also have quit smoking. It has only been 2 days on the smoking but I am going to try to stick with it this time. I don't have anything stressing me out so I should be able to do it.

I knew dogs got periods cause my bff's cat has them when she goes into heat. And the sounds she makes can drive you crazy. My bff sticks her cat in the basement when she starts making the noises. Then all the boy cats would mark her porch. That's why when I get animals, I get males.

Good to hear from you, Tendai. I am not into soccer like that but it amazes me how people have gotten into it. I went to Burger King the other day and they had it on in there. I was more interested in where Lebron James was going in basketball. And I predicted it would be with the Miami Heat. So basketball season is going to be looking good. I get bored when the same team wins every year.

Queen, congrats on the smoking! Tomorrow will be one month for me (though when I was smoking this last time, it was only 7 cigs a day). And about the cat/female animal thing.... I get my animals fixed, or make sure they've been fixed when I adopt them (male or female). I couldn't stand to listen to female cats in heat. I have one kitty, a female, but she was spayed a long time ago.

Nothing going on here, really. It's been awfully hot, but that's most of the country right now. I hope everyone has a good weekend.

Logged

I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

I hope all is well with you all. I woke up today on the right side of the bed...lol..I feel really good today for some reason. Not that I am complaining but I kinda feel at peace. Goddess knows I haven't felt like this for awhile. I am just gonna roll with it. Maybe I have a little extra energy due to working out, Idk.

Just sitting here watching the soaps, listening to music on my ipod, and posting here. I spent the last few days over my bf's house. We go to both our places but he likes me to be at his house so I can save on my electric bill. He doesn't have to pay utilities. It wasn't but 46 bucks last month which I was surprised considering that I run an ac when I am there.

Betty, I stopped smoking Newports but from time to time now I will go to the store and buy a Black n Mild when I get the urge for a cigarette. Not because I am stressed now but simply out of habit. I notice I want to smoke when I get up in the morning and after I eat dinner. And I just found out cigs went up again, now they are like 11 bucks a pack. It's definitely time to stop.

Well, I am going to keep riding out on this good vibe I am feeling. Have a good day ladies

Queen, wow, you took me back with the mention of a Black & Mild. A friend of mine and myself used to smoke those when we would play cards. I haven't had one in awhile. And yeah, I notice wanting a cigarette mostly in the morning, when I have coffee. Sometimes after meals, but more in the morning. Hang in there! I agree, they're way too expensive. And you pay more than I would here in Hoosierville.

Logged

I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

HI GF'S how is everyone? fine I hope. Nothing much here but heat and rain! last nite was a bad storm, lightining, thunder, rain. we had all the candles ready, lights went on an off and of course the youngest grand is scared!!!Tendai Glad to hear from you!everyone have a nice blessed day.

Wow, I see it has been majorly slow up in here. I haven't been posting much because I have been on Facebook a whole lot lately. And I usually chat with a few of you ladies there. I hope everyone is doing ok.

The heat has been hell over here too. I went to a BBQ over the weekend and thouight I was going to faint. But I ended up having fun. Has anyone experienced heat bumps, I guess that is what they are, where the bumps seem to get big and fill up with a lot of blood? I have been experiencing this a lot and they are very painful. I seem to get them in the worst places, the latest being towards the back of my va-jay jay. If anyone can help me out with this problem I would appreciate it.

Now to change the subject, has anyone been peeping RuPaul's Drag U on Logo? Tonight was the first episode. I sooooooo want to be on that show. What can I say, I am a fag hag if you didn't know by now.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Thanks Ann for the link. I talked to my oldest sister about it. She seemed to know what I was talking about and gave me the medical name for it. I can't remember what she said it was called but it is common in diabetics. She told me it was a good thing that the "bump or boil" burst. She said if I had gone to a doctor that they would have cut it open so that it would drain. It is still draining but I still feel some hardness around the area where it burst at.

My sister has a hard time with Facebook too though I do not understand why. It seems quite simple to me. Since being on there I have found a few old friends and a lot of family on there. But I like playing the games too. You have to be patient like I told my sister and just mess around on it.

I have just been hanging out with the kids and trying to get stuff done around the house. We had a big tree fall in our yard from our neighbors house, we are waiting for them to come home from vacation so they can see it and see if thier insurance will cover the whole thing or ifwe will have to take care of the tree in our yard. I really don't have the 500 to cover the deductible to replace the fence.

Hey gfsJust driving bye and thought I would stop and say hi to everyone. Trying to stay cool in all of this heat I am still with my guy, things are going good for us. Will stop back when i have some time to write.~Mary

Snow, I hope you don't have to pay for the clean-up of the tree. I read in some other thread, where you posted about dancing. That's funny, because last year, I used to do that sometimes. It was a way to exercise, that wasn't boring and repetitive.

Mary, glad you and your man are doing alright.

It's been steamy here, just like it has every place else. Work is, as usual, unstable, but whatever. I get tired of worrying about it.

I got a bit bold today and made this chicken recipe I saw on t.v. It's boneless, skinless chicken breasts, stuffed with pecans, blue cheese crumbles, and green onions, and wrapped in bacon. I won't know how they are until tomorrow, since I've already eaten today. I got them from a show on the Food network. I hope they're good.

Ann, I'm sending you a pm about posting avatars now. I can't figure it out, and am not techy in the least. Hope everyone has a good weekend!

Logged

I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

No, I am not just getting up. I have not been to sleep yet. I just couldn't go to sleep for some reason. Maybe it's because of the date I went out on last night, Idk. Yes, I went out on a date to Times Square with someone I met off of the personals. I had fun even though we got caught in the rain. And I can actually say I forgot what it's like to have fun. We made plans to go to the movies next week. I am not sure what we are going to see yet. He is going to surprise me. I feel giddy as hell, it's been a long time since I felt this way. Not to worry, I am not rushing into anything, neither one of us is and I think that is the beauty of the thing. Usually after a break up I get all depressed and shit but not this time. I have not shed a tear and I am proud of myself for that. I am not bitter but I consider it another one of life's lessons. All I can do is learn from it and move the hell on. I even wish my ex the best even though he has some demons. Maybe the next woman he gets with can help him with that, more power to her if she can because she is going to have her work cut out for her. That's for sure. I know he likes to jump on here and read my posts. So let me say THANK YOU for DUMPING ME, you did me a favor!!!!! I am single again,drama free, and happy as can be.

Well, it's going on 8am. I am going to try once again to go to sleep. My new avy is one of the pics I took while in Times Square......Have a good one, ladies!!!! I know I will....

Wow, I can't believe how quiet it has been in here. I guess everyone is just that busy. Let me say that the tears finally did come, I guess they needed to. And the guy I went out with to Times Square, I had to kick to the curb. And then another date cancelled out on me. Why? Because I would not sleep with him on the first date. I was truly like WTF? Don't men have any morals anymore or is all about a quick hump? If that is the case, I guess I am going to be alone for a long time. I have never been one to sleep with someone on the first date and I don't plan on doing it now. Even if I am feeling a little bit lonely.

I am thinking maybe I need to take this time to do some other things I need to do. I mean I was single and independent before I had got with my ex. But at the same time I can't help but miss him. I think maybe I am going about this the wrong way. In order to get over him I don't need to get with someone else but then too much time to think about shit can be a dangerous thing for someone like me. But I truly am all alone and feel that way more than ever.

Queen, it's always been hard for me to get used to being alone when I ended relationships. It takes (unfortunately) time, that's all. Getting with someone else won't truly help you get over your ex, if you miss him that much. At least for me, only time will. I remember when I used to split frequently with my first husband, and went with other men. I still missed him.

It must also be hard for you, because of being in a city you're not totally used to. Do you have any other friends there you can hang out with? Have you contacted an ASO, and maybe see if there's any support groups. You're in New York, I'm sure there are lots of support groups. I'm not saying you have to go and pour your heart out; but it may be a place to make new friends. Just a suggestion, I'm not, of course, saying you have to do it.

Have you found a doctor yet for the HIV and the diabetes? That would take up some time also.

I hope you get to feeling happier. I'm thinking about you, as always.

Logged

I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Thanks Betty. I appreciate the advice. I really don't like doing groups, I am more of a one on one person. I have been thinking about seeing a therapist, maybe the one I saw when I was in the shelter. I have her card somewhere, I am going to have to try to find it somewhere. I liked her and she explained to me once why I have the problems I have with men. Last night was a rough night for me, indeed. I have been chatting with a few guys on Yahoo or on my phone. But I have been keeping it real with them, explaining that I am not trying to be in a relationship. Some people feel it is alright to rebound but I just can't do it because I don't feel it is right.

No, I have not found any doctors yet. A friend told me about one in Manhattan. He said when I was ready to go that he would take me. It's where he goes and he says the doctor is good. Thanks for the support, I really appreciate it...

HELLO LADIES! , I'm still breathing in this 100.degree weather, lol. been keeping busy, mostly the pc and keeping cool staying in. I went to my ID doc Tuesday. Had to get blood work, since its been a whille. I was told I have a fatty liver and should watch my diet ! ok I am happily 140lbs ! the nutritionist said to lose 10lbs! NO way!!! it took me long enough to get here! lol,Remember I was losing weight and muscle mass when I was going thru with the husband, and I was down to 127 lbs ? I looked wasted, everone was concerned. Oh thy put me on colestoral meds also, which I have yet to take, been taking omega fish oil and flaxseed oil.Grands are gettin ready to go back to school next week !!! August 3rd. WOW time goes fast.I am in a new gospel singing group that my girlfreind started and it is awesome! just rehearsing so far. I am also in the intercessory prayer ministry and starting a gospel mime ministry with the teens at church. Once my background check has been approved. I am so excited about it. If you've never seen gospel mimes got to you tube and type in gospel mimes, you will be in for a treat. I had to write a proposal and meet with youth pastor, who is also excited. My grandaughter did a gospel mime t her camp awards cerimony last week.

Queen- you need to go back to therapy, believe me it works !!! Knowing you are not sleeping tells me you are not taking your antidepressants! which is bad. Please know you can't stop and start them, because the side effects will mess you up !!! you will be on an emotional rollercoaster!!!!! There are many differnt ones so if one you don't like, tell your doc and theywill try another. I take Zoloff and have for years. If I try to stop on my own, it would be like witdrawing from herione !!!! Yes its nothing to play with. I am happy tobe on them have drastic mood swings and anxiety attacks anymore. I still get anxious somtimes but not to the pointI can't breath. When I broke up with my last husband, I signed up or therapy at mental health, I am still waitin for them to call me, lol itsbeen six months ! But I am fine, did self help. I hop everyone has a nice blessed weekend.

Wow today has been a helluva day. I still have not gone to sleep but to get out the house, I went and tried to take care of some business at the Social Security office. To no avail since I needed a copy of my lease which I didn't have because my Hasa worker took it when I first moved into my apartment. But I did get in some heavy duty walking which was exercise enough for me.

I did take all my Remeron which my psychiatrist at the shelter prescribed for me. I even took it a step further and emailed her hoping that she could see as a patient since leaving the shelter. But she can't, she can only see people who are in the shelter. Bummer!! Her and my social worker from the shelter suggested I go to the Emergency Room but I do not want to go there. I don't want to go because I think they would try to admit me. I have a few nice things in my place and though I live in a nice quiet neighborhood, I just don't trust it. You never know who is paying attention on the block and may notice that I have been gone.

This is all very frustrating to me because due to me not being able to hear on the phone, I am unable to make any kind of doctor's appointment. And I need 3 doctors---hiv,primary, hearing, and gyn, make that 4 doctors. It is very frustrating and upsetting. I didn't have this problem back home because I had a friend who would take me to my appointments and be my ears. I have no problem being independent, it's just that the people here in NY is quite rude even when I tell them that I am hearing impaired. This shit really sucks, majorly!!! And I am at a loss of what to do about it....*Sighs and smh* I try to take one step forward and gets pushed 10 steps back!!!!

Queen, I'm so sorry all this shit is happening to you right now. You certainly don't need that. So, you have a social worker? If so, does she know your need to see doctors, especially regarding the HIV? It just seems like she would help you, unless she's lazy. I don't blame you for not wanting to go to the ER. I wouldn't even venture a guess as to whether they would admit you or not, but I guess I would feel as you do-that I wouldn't want to take the chance. But, if the situation gets desperate enough, I sure would go. What I mean is, if I felt like there was no other way for me to get help, I would try in any way possible to get it. Does that make any sense?

I wish the people where you live were more friendly. You sure could use a friend there right now. Could you possibly find out where the nearest ASO is, and go in and talk to them? A lot of times, they can hook a person up with good doctors. That's just a possibility. And they can help with other things also, like benefits, etc.

As usual, I'm thinking about you, and pulling for ya. Please take care of yourself, as best you can.

Logged

I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Well, I finally got some good sleep last night, with the help of some good green. I do admit that I do feel better today. When I was feeling down yesterday, Netta was there to hold me up. Thanks a bunch, I love you for that. Also, I have someone who is going to make the call to Mt. Sinai so I get another hearing test done.

No, I don't have a case worker anymore since I left the DV shelter. She wrote me because I had written the therapist at the shelter, telling her how I was feeling and if she took patients out of the shelter. And she doesn't, so I have to find someone else. I thought my Hasa worker would help but she just gave me numbers to hospitals. I did notice that there is a medical clinic close by me too.

I have been trying not to mope too much because I notice that I start thinking too much. I met up with someone off of the personals last night. I don't know how I was able to pull that off with no sleep but I did. It was nice. Neither one of us are looking for relationships right now. We just want to find someone to hang out with. So, that is cool with me. I also had another date scheduled that I totally forgot about. So, I had to cancel that one but he knew I had no sleep.

Sp, I am taking the weeknd up til Monday to just relax. I have already washed my clothes and cleaned the house. I have a steak sauteeing right now. I would write more but this screen is jumping around. I don't know why I clicked on the Compatibility thing. Ohe well.....

Well, I finally got all of my doctor appointments made, a friend made the calls for me. I really appreciated that and it made me feel a little better. Now I have to go to the social security office once my landlord brings me the lease. My benefits are suppose to go up, that's what the agent said on the 800 number. I hope they do cause I can really use it.

I have been getting out the house a little bit more. I met up with a friend and we went to Harlem. It was a nice get away from the house type of thing. Of course, I forgot my camera but it was a long train ride for me. And riding the train for long period of time makes me sleepy but for the life of me, I can't fall asleep on the train. I would miss my stop but I see people doing it all the time.

Yeah, Queen! That is great news, I hope you like your doctors and you get more money. I doubt I could fall asleep on a train either, I don't trust people enough to do that. I can't even sleep in the car, I always feel like I have to keep the driver entertained so they don't fall asleep. LOL, he probably wishes I would go to sleep, I ramble on and on about shit that he has no interest in, like what I saw on Oprah.

I went last week and got my numbers back. It seems I might be having another blip, I wasn't undetectable. They drew again and told me to call back in a week but neglected to mention they were on vacation. LOL, just my luck. Hopefully, I haven't built up a resistance to the Atripla, around the time I got my Aids diagnosis they were concerned there was nothing left for me to take cuz I had built up a resistance to everything out at the time. I did lose 8 lbs,so that was good.

Other than that, trying to survive this heat and the summer. Everyone take care!Has anyone heard on Mum and Mini are doing? or any of the other MIA women?

I know I haven't heard anything from Mum lately. I often wonder how the other ladies are doing too..Ms. Newlywed, Cindy over there....Drag got married then disappeared, I hope she is doing well. Then there is Wishful who peeks in from time to time. Just so many. I remember when this the women's forums got started, now you're lucky to get a peep. I almost feel like people are leaving the nest. But it is good it is here, I'd be lost without you gals.

Queen, that's great about getting your doctor's appointments. I hope you get more cash. That's always nice.

Snow, good to hear from you. Like you and Queen, I don't know if I could fall asleep on a train. But, now that I'm getting older and older, I probably could. I almost fell asleep in the landermat yesterday.

Not much going on, except the heat that seems to have gripped most of the country. I hope everyone's alright.

Logged

I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow