Monday, November 14, 2011

gloomies

No one cares about my quest to give up caffeine, but this is a blog, so it's the place I go when I want to write all sorts of uninteresting things. Internet!

Anyway, caffeine. Yes, so for over a week I've been drinking nothing but tea (one cup of black in the morning, one cup of green in the afternoon). No coffee, no energy drinks, no Excedrin-solely-for-the-130mg-of-caffeine. And I've felt super! Really, really great. Definition of great: not anxious. But oh woe is me I caved in today. Why? Gloomy gus. Definition of gloomy gus: me. And caffeine gives me that quick mood boost (followed by a long decline into ohhhh noooo).

Why so gloomy, Gus/Meg? Ya got me. I've got no clue. But for the past day or two I've been on edge, feet draggin' sad, antsy, and uninspired. These could very well be caffeine withdrawal symptoms, but I think that only plays a (small) part. There is something bothering me that I haven't been able to pinpoint yet. Help?

But I'll be okay. I think something important to do is to sit. Sit with the edgy antsy gloomy blues. Don't try sweeping any of it under a metaphorical or literal rug because it'll just come creepin' back out, bigger and badder. I also don't need to try and "solve" anything, at least not right away. I believe what needs to happen is a sort of a "Hello, Melancholy. Who are you? Tell me about yourself." Let it unravel. I'll soon be naked. Lying on the floor. HOLD ON A SECOND... WEEZER! Damnit, I've done it again.

So, yeah. I should examine my gloom glooms, but first I'm going to waste a shit load of time on Tumblr. WISH ME LUCK!!! LIVIN' LARGE!!!