Re: AshLee F - B17 NO SPOILERS

Originally Posted by mesachick

Sure everyone is different, but I still stand by my feelings. As an adopted person myself, I am if anything, proud to be adopted. That proves, if nothing else, that you ARE wanted, and you ARE loved. Two people in the world searched to have a child and it turned out to be you. You aren't a product of an unwanted pregnancy, but a product of two loving people who CHOSE you. To think otherwise is just not healthy. If you find the issue to be such a problem that it is getting in the way of your relationships, which it clearly is with AshLee, she needs therapy and she needs to move on, or she will be a lonely her whole life. That is sad for her. She may like the whole *I am a victim* persona though - who knows.

Re: AshLee F - B17 NO SPOILERS

Originally Posted by Fanny Mare

I don't know her story.

Her story - she was in foster care until she was 4. Then she was adopted by a very loving family, who has been nothing but loving and supportive to her. She's had a wonderful childhood. That's what SHE said to Sean during their date at the amusement park. Yeah, she needs to get some therapy if what she is focusing on is the part before she was loved. Some kids don't even get that. I really think she just likes the woe is me part and is using it to try to make Sean feel bad for her. I don't feel bad for her at all. Look at her life now. That's what matters. I hope she gets some help soon so she can flourish in a real relationship.

Re: AshLee F - B17 NO SPOILERS

Originally Posted by mesachick

Her story - she was in foster care until she was 4. Then she was adopted by a very loving family, who has been nothing but loving and supportive to her. She's had a wonderful childhood. That's what SHE said to Sean during their date at the amusement park. Yeah, she needs to get some therapy if what she is focusing on is the part before she was loved. Some kids don't even get that. I really think she just likes the woe is me part and is using it to try to make Sean feel bad for her. I don't feel bad for her at all. Look at her life now. That's what matters. I hope she gets some help soon so she can flourish in a real relationship.

I only see what they allow me to see, I'll make my own mind up. Foster care for a year , let alone 4 can mess a kid up. Not every story has a happy ending. I am glad you found your happy - lets hope she does.

Her father said she'd been in 5 foster homes within one year - I'm sorry but there is something wrong here.......

Some children are abused, some are not, but some are .I doubt at her tender age, anything was her fault - maybe thats why she seems so needy

Re: AshLee F - B17 NO SPOILERS

She was never abused, she has said so. Her issue is of abandonment. Again, her words. Of course nothing was her fault. And yes, let's hope she grows strong and finds happiness. But she is no longer a child, far from it. At some point you need to focus on the many positives she's had, and less so negative. She obviously needs help in doing so. She is in no way ready for a relationship. I wish her well in overcoming her issues.

Re: AshLee F - B17 NO SPOILERS

Originally Posted by mesachick

She was never abused, she has said so. Her issue is of abandonment. Again, her words. Of course nothing was her fault. And yes, let's hope she grows strong and finds happiness. But she is no longer a child, far from it. At some point you need to focus on the many positives she's had, and less so negative. She obviously needs help in doing so. She is in no way ready for a relationship. I wish her well in overcoming her issues.

I think we all wish that for Ashlee -my mother is 82, and she still has feelings of neglect. Has she had help? yes, some things never leave your life, never.

Re: AshLee F - B17 NO SPOILERS

Young childhood trauma is always with you no matter what the circumstances in your later growing years. It may be suppressed and then explode at some point or a person, when they reach adult status, thinks they may be able to control the emotions. If the trauma happened before the age of five, it is pretty much hardwired and difficult to deal with even with therapy. It can be done, but it depends on predisposition and whether one can focus and not get side-tracked.

I speak from experience, but don't wish to drag my personal life into the discussion.

Re: AshLee F - B17 NO SPOILERS

Originally Posted by Fanny Mare

I didn't mind Ashlee this time .I have been on( and off ) the fence about Desiree- there was just something about her. Tierra was a blatant forced drama. Ashlee is not
My mother grew up in foster care ( a home) and then lived with her foster family . I would loathe for someone to tell her even today to **get over it. ** She has often said she doesn't/hasn't felt loved, and yet she is, very much

I would NEVER say "get over it"... How can she? Haven't experienced it myself... but I can be sympathetic about her situation. However, having said that... just because she was in a foster home until age 4 then adopted... I don't feel that should consume her. (BUT, I am NOT her and can't tell her HOW she should feel OR how she should handle it). She WAS adopted... she HAS parents that love her. So many foster children can't say that. In fact.. there are MANY children that can't say that of their own actual families.

Maybe this is why she hasn't found love (other than Sean)... because thats allllllll she talks of. After a while... even that story gets old.

But then again.... maybe its all in the editing... maybe she is speaking about soooo many other great things... the show is ONLY showing us this side? Her sad side?????

Re: AshLee F - B17 NO SPOILERS

I think it's great that this phlegmy family (dad was painful to listen to, he really needs an introduction to Claritin or something) reached out and welcomed AshLee. I think, though, that the damage coming from having a minister as a father is what's showing through here, not abandonment.

Re: AshLee F - B17 NO SPOILERS

Originally Posted by I'm here

I would NEVER say "get over it"... How can she? Haven't experienced it myself... but I can be sympathetic about her situation. However, having said that... just because she was in a foster home until age 4 then adopted... I don't feel that should consume her. She WAS adopted... she HAS parents that love her. So many foster children can't say that. In fact.. there are MANY children that can't say that of their own actual families.

Maybe this is why she hasn't found love (other than Sean)... because thats allllllll she talks of. After a while... even that story gets old.

But then again.... maybe its all in the editing... maybe she is speaking about soooo many other great things... the show is ONLY showing us this side? Her sad side?????

This show is all about the editing.( often really bad and choppy editing) They ask a myriad of questions, and they put them in the show wherever they see fit..That's why they are often on a date, or doing something, and there is a PI of them with completely different clothes on. Ashlee will be known for one thing throughout this show- however, if she is not the F1 or even the F2, she will be able to voice what she wants at a time that is good for her. I do know about adopted children and foster care, but like Arielflies ,I don't think I need say more than I have.

Re: AshLee F - B17 NO SPOILERS

Originally Posted by Fanny Mare

This show is all about the editing.( often really bad and choppy editing) They ask a myriad of questions, and they put them in the show wherever they see fit..That's why they are often on a date, or doing something, and there is a PI of them with completely different clothes on. Ashlee will be known for one thing throughout this show- however, if she is not the F1 or even the F2, she will be able to voice what she wants at a time that is good for her. I do know about adopted children and foster care, but like Arielflies ,I don't think I need say more than I have.

I think if AshLee isn't picked... she might be the next bachelorette. OR I was thinking Sarah would be....