Saturday, October 22, 2011

Denial? Depression? Acceptance? What is this stage?

So i'm still in the "i'm giving up" mindset. I've stopped using the ovulation tracker things, I've stopped keeping track of when Hubbs and i have sexy time, I hardly remember to take my prenatals, and I've gained weight. Good times.I just feel so crappy about all of this. Gibbs has been an awesome distraction. Hubbs and i dote on him and spoil him rotten. He has seriously brought such joy and laughter into our house. He is awesome.It'll be another few weeks before my new job's health insurance kicks in, so i won't be going back to the doctor till then. I guess i'll just keep taking my metformin, trying to remember to choke down those really nasty tasting prenatals, and hope for the best.My birthday is next week, and i guess that's something i can look forward to. Not really looking forward to getting older. I think i'll just tell people i'm turning 25 again... which i have done for the last few years. But hey, if i can still get carded at rated-R movies, i figure i can get away with it. Lol.Give me the strength to keep fighting this fight. To actually stick to the medical plan and do the things i'm supposed to. Hubbs and i have been good about taking Gibbs for a walk every day. We're doing a mile now, and hope to up it every week or so. Hopefully we can stick to it even when it's snowing here (which should be in the next few weeks or so)Help me to not cringe when i'm at work and see a bajillion pregnant women waddling around the store. Remember, they're not rubbing their giant bellies in your face on purpose, they can't help it.Take a deep breath. Get your $hit together. You can do this.

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About Me

Went from commitment-phobe to happily married, infertile to pregnant, mother of one to mother of two, then back to mother of one, blogging my way through this lifelong journey from "if" to "when" and "then".