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Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Xanax Anyone?

Ever had a job that makes you feel bi-polar? I sure have. Wait, I sure do.

I feel so rewarded when my staff has success with residents living on campus, and when I see all the hard work they invest in decorating their floors and doing great activities with their residents. I feel great when I get good reviews from my supervisors and when I get privileges other people in my position have never had before (getting a dog, for one). And I know that my work ethic is, for the most part, appreciated and that someday... I might get a raise. After 4 years, I might get a raise. That would be great for many reasons, the most important probably being that I actually took a pay CUT this year. Nothing says thanks for all your hard work like taking $100 out of my paycheck every month.

This is where the depressive part kicks in... When I realize I've been doing this job since 2004 and I've never had a raise. It's not just that. It's also having to wear "cute" business-casual clothes to work every day, and then I'm asked to: move mattresses, shovel snow, pick up trash, do mail, move boxes (HEAVY boxes), make signs with dangerously permanent markers (sometimes I get so clumsy and write all over myself)... and so many other fun things that ruin my "cute" business-casual clothes. It's great, lemme tell ya.

But don't get me wrong, I'm not going to quit any time soon. I'm one of those lucky saps who keeps holding out for something better, sticking around until I feel I can get my foot through the door (not in, but THROUGH.) By the time I actually make some progress up the chain of command, I'm pretty sure what's left of my soul will be dead, and I won't feel so manic depressive about my job anymore. Sounds like a win-win, no?

And if I still feel like crying just a little bit, maybe someday I'll get the privilege of a lunch break in my 8-hour day. I'll use that to cry.