Thursday, July 28, 2011

Dear Uraeus (from journal entry 7-27-11)

When I was growing up I used to overhear grownups and grownupish folks say "Don't let your mouth write a check that yo ass can't cash."

I was born a storyteller so I found the phrase catchy but I didn't really really know what it meant in real world terms. On the playground it meant, "if you keep talkin' smack, you gon' git yo butt kicked after school (at recess, at lunch, whatever)."

Now, in the real grown up world I see how wise that statement is. In the world of right and wrong, if you knowingly do something "wrong" ask yourself if that wrong is a wrong you can cash. Meaning, is that wrong a wrong you can look the offended person or people in the face and completely and honestly say "I did this or that."? And then stand there without blaming someone else or defending your actions. If you can't, you are not ready for that wrong.

Before you answer whether or not you are ready to walk into a wrong, remember how tricky and greedy the ego is. The ego will tell you that you are ready to own up to it and take responsibility for it. But don't listen to the ego. There is a voice inside of you that knows when you are lying, knows when you want your truths to be lies and knows when the lies you tell yourself are really true. That voice inside of you knows you. It's up to you to know that voice.

Now keep this in mind, there is absolutely no wrong you will ever get away with. Ever. But knowingly committing a wrong you are not brave enough to own up to will only produce more wrongs you are not brave enough to own up to.

This of course is not your permission slip to seek out wrongs to do in your life, rather a guidance, if you will, on taking responsibility for the wrongs that you do.