A Washington DC matchmaker blogs about life & love in the real world

Summer Fling? Or Something More?

There’s nothing I love more than cozying up to someone new during the fall months, keeping each other warm all winter long, and then parting ways come spring. For me, summer has always been about being single, spending time with girlfriends, and taking weekend (and weeklong!) trips to escape the oppressive city heat whenever possible.

That’s not to say I didn’t want a boyfriend, more that the timing just never worked out that way, I suppose.

Anyhoooo, I say all this because we are officially in the midst of summertime, it’s steamy out there, and there’s nothing like a hot hookup after a lackluster workweek #amirite?

Which brings us to the summer fling.

Unlike the boo you settle down with during cuffing season, your summer fling is the guy who looks damn good in a bathing suit, is always game to take you out for drinks, and, most importantly, is there to rub sunscreen on your back. How else are you going to avoid skin cancer than by finding a hot dude to lube you up with UV fighting lotions?

But what happens when the weather starts to cool? Does the fling end? Do summertime guys come with an expiration date? Do you even want to hang out with this guy once he’s got clothes on? If you do, you should probably consider how he feels about you. Has he been sending you hints all summer long that he wants to keep the romance going post Labor Day? Or is it pretty obvious that he’s dunzo when heavy sweaters come out of storage?

There are some pretty clearcut signs that he’s in it for the long haul… if you’re up for something longer lasting than a summer fling.

First, does he talk about you two as a couple?

Any reference to “we” or “us” suggests that he sees you as more than a casual thing. Listen up and see how he describes his whereabouts to friends. Does he tell them that “he’s hanging by the pool” or “we’re hanging by the pool”. Crucial difference.

Does he mention future togetherness?

Maybe you go see the newest action flick together and you see a trailer for a scary movie being released on Halloween. If he squeezes your hand and whispers that you two should go see that in October, he’s probably envisioning you as a couple past the official summer cutoff.

And finally, if he’s there for the non-fun parts of a fling, he may just be a keeper.

The great thing about a summer romance is, it truly CAN be all fun and games. You can go out, laugh, dance, hang with each other’s friends, hook up, do weekends away, and it’s all very light and breezy and casual. There are no expectations for him to “be there” for you in a legitimate way. So, if he DOES step up, say, when you catch a summer cold, or when the family dog dies, you know he truly cares about YOU and not just the fun, physical stuff. If he’s bringing you tissues and chicken soup and sending condolence cards to your parents, he’s probably a pretty decent guy.

In that case, hold on to that fling, girl!

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