Happy Chinese New Year, You're still single?

Beijing: In China, the Lunar New Year is a time of family reunion and celebration; vast distances are travelled so people can be home for the most important holiday on the calendar.

But it is also a time of dread for young singles, aware their homecoming will be met with an inevitable, nagging refrain from parents, grandparents, distant relatives and kibitzing neighbours alike: "Have you met someone?"

The pressure for young Chinese, whether male or female, to get married is incessant. So much so the phrase bihun, or "forced to marry" has surged in popularity and inspired legions of online memes, news articles and satirical videos ahead of the New Year holiday, which starts on Saturday. A group of students and artists have even pooled their cash to buy advertising space at a busy Beijing subway station, extolling the virtues of singlehood while protesting the societal pressures they face.

Many traditional households will forbid dating or even close friendships with the opposite sex during high school and university. That flips on its head almost immediately upon entering the workforce, and reaches a crescendo if a credible suitor is not found by one's mid-twenties or, heaven forbid, late-twenties.

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Aspiring actress Zheng Dandan is dreading the questions she'll be asked at home.

Photo: Liu Sanghee

China already has arguably one of Asia's most thriving online matchmaking scenes. But a cottage industry of rent-a-partner ruses has also sprouted, where the truly desperate can arrange to take a fake girlfriend or boyfriend home to meet the family. Prices typically start from 1000 yuan ($216) per day, but can rise dramatically depending on appearance, length of time and travel, and other demands.

"I don't sleep together, I don't kiss, and don't drink," read one online ad, purportedly from a 26-year-old who listed her services for 1200 yuan a day. "I've been hired many times to pretend to be a girlfriend, deal with parents, and attend parties."

Anxious parents are also not shy about thrusting potential paramours in front of their children, urging them to meet their colleague's son, or their neighbour's niece.

"My mum will send me photos, saying 'this guy's not bad, he does this job, why not go meet him'," says Zheng Dandan, who left her home in the steel production hub of Tangshan to pursue an acting career in Beijing. "I'm dreading going home a bit, I'm struggling to come up with what to say to my parents."

It's easier to go home for Chinese New Year if you're bringing your family along.

Photo: Liu Sanghee

While couples tying the knot later in life are a worldwide phenomenon, the changes in large Chinese cities have been brought on more abruptly due to the pace of economic growth in recent decades – leading to a generational gap in expectations.

With those in rural China still mostly marry in their early-twenties, more than half of China is now urbanised. More young people study at university for longer, and move to larger cities for work. While a gender pay gap exists, women are also more financially independent and not beholden to marry for greater financial security.

Millions of Chinese return home every year to celebrate Chinese New Year with family.

Photo: Liu Sanghee

Living away from home also means that, for many young Chinese, the New Year holiday represents the longest amount of time spent with family back home; and for parents, it presents a prime opportunity to condense their year's worth of anxiety and advice over the course of a week.

"My parents married in their early-twenties, and they're slightly old-fashioned," Zheng says. "They feel you should put starting a family before having a career, but young people now want to have a career before settling down."

Rush to go home: passengers stranded in Guangzhou on February 2. China's travel rush ahead of Lunar New Year was disrupted by rare snowfall in central parts of the country.

Photo: AP

The average age for first marriages in China was 24 for males and 22 for females in 2010, according to the latest nationwide census. But data from the civil affairs bureau in Hangzhou showed the average first marriage ages in the modern, well-off city was 28.8 and 27.1 for men and women respectively last year – about one year older than just the year before.

While usually only a passing source of frustration, the mismatch between the previous generation's traditional mindset attributing non-negotiable importance to starting a family and having kids can cause strain in parent-child relationships – especially when trying to make it alone in a big city can be challenging in itself.

The original subway advertisement protesting pressure on young singles to marry. It was rejected by authorities and substituted with a "gentler" design.

"I'm not going to play tricks this time, or appease them by saying I'm trying to look hard [for a boyfriend]," one friend, in her late-twenties, told me. "I will listen to their views but will tell them I just want their support. All I need is their support."

It is not just marriage that is on the minds of Chinese parents and elders, though, and chances are there will be other issues to fixate on even after the wedding bells are run (or rather, after the wedding fireworks are lit).

State broadcaster CCTV crunched online search engine data to determine the 10 most frequently asked questions over Chinese New Year. The top two were "Have you met someone?" and "Are you getting married?", closely followed by "Are you having kids?", "Are you planning to have a second child?" and "When are you having kids?".