$2,000 Birthday Party Isn't Wrong?

November 7th, 2007 at 04:29 pm

Commenting on the blogger who recently wrote in about his or her friend spending $2,000 on a 2-year-old's birthday party. Of course this amount is absurd...except if you're the parent throwing the party and feel justified in doing it. It seems glutunous and immoral in some way to the majority of us. But what people forget is that money is an emotional thing...it's not based on what's responsible or the most cost effective at times. It's just based on feelings and what we are wanting to do with it at the time we spend it. Of course most of us aren't spending $2,000 on a child's birthday party, but we're buying things we think are important, which others would find absurd. We all do it. We all spend money emotionally, but we don't want to admit it.

The bigger question to ask here is not "why did the parent spend so much money on such a thing?" But instead "can he/she spend that kind of money on such a thing and still take care of basic needs, pay debt, etc., without going into more debt?"

Remember, you can have anything you want, you just can't have everything. That means you can have whatever you heart desires, even if it's something others consider stupid such as a $2,000 birthday party, but it also means that you will have to give up other things you need and want in order to have that party. You can't have both, or in other words, you can't have everything.

You personally may not spend $2,000 on a birthday party, but be honest, you've spent a chunk of money on things you thought were important to you, emotionally, and felt justified. The thing that's more appalling than what money is spent on, is spending it without thinking when you don't really have it to spend.

Be honest, when was the last time you spent money emotionally? The truth is, every time we spend, it's emotional. Every time. Until we deal with our emotions, we will never get in complete control of our money.

Also, some things are cultural. I live in an area where some parents take out loans on their homes to give their daughters a "quince birthday'. In the Latin culture, the 15th birthday is a coming out or right of passage time of life. My son happened to be one of the 7 couples (14) and the father had had 3 other daughters which he had taken out mortgages on his house and he was so glad that this was the last daughter to do this for. These parties are no different than the debutante parties of the wealthy. So, so much is more than money, when all of their friends are doing the same thing.

The party that my son attended had the girl coming out on stage in a carriage with smoke. Some girls don't have the wedding like these girls's parties. But, it was very beautiful.

It was $3000, I am sure that people including myself have had plenty of wasteful spending days but in doing so what are we really trying to prove? In most cases like with the party, "mine was better than yours" and what could she be possibly teaching this kid , that just because you have it (in her case not) that it is ok. I think that is what's wrong with kids today "competition" always triyg to out do the others. Bigger and better parties, name brand clothes, all the updated tech toys, nicer cars and the list goes on and on

I agree that it depends on what you value. I am perfectly guilty of spending on electronics in an amount that non-gamers or people who aren't technology fans would probably find shocking but I do try to get something tangible from my money (my value not other people's I know). I just find it shocking anytime someone spends a lot of money for a moment in time. If its something you can use over and over again, I have no problem with people spending large sums of money.

That said, I do think income is an important part of the equation. I have no problem with a billionaire saying he drinks bottles of $2,000 Scotch but I think my acquaintance who makes only slightly more than me while driving a new car, having a huge apartment and going out every night telling me the same thing makes him an idiot headed for bankruptcy. (And yes, I did suggest to him that I thought anyone who paid that much for alcohol is an idiot, I am not exactly subtle.)

The difference is in the lesson given to the 2 year old...I happen to think it was the wrong lesson...and many think my main splurge (I stay home with the kids full time) is the wrong lesson (what will my daughter think not seeing mom get paid to work...personally I hope she realizes getting paid isn't the only goal in life.)

anyway..still their money, still their kid, just...not really the lesson I want to pass on to my kids.