Light in the Strangest of Places

At a Grateful Dead concert one Chanukah, I felt like the only Jew in the world. Then an amazing thing happened.

I had been spending Shabbat after Shabbat with Jonathan and Julie and we'd become close friends. Then one Shabbat lunch, Jonathan asked me out of the blue: "You've been enjoying Shabbat meals with our group for so long now, but I don't think I've ever asked: How did you find your way here?"

So I told him this story.

About a year and a half previous, it was Chanukah, and to my delight, The Grateful Dead were playing four shows in a row, two of which coincided with nights of Chanukah.

I took my candles and menorah to the "Dead show" so I could at least light them in the parking lot before going into the concert.

At the time, I didn't feel very connected to Judaism or the Jewish community. Even so, when I went to the "Dead show", I took my candles and menorah with me so I could at least light them in the parking lot before going into the concert. My non-Jewish friends were bemused, mostly because of the chocolate gelt and dreidels I brought. But they didn't really share in my "celebration." I felt very alone and sad, like I was the only Jew in the world. But later that night an amazing thing happened.

Between the band's first and second set, I was walking around the arena, when someone handed me a piece of paper. I looked down to see a picture of the Grateful Dead icon skeleton wearing a kippah and lighting a menorah! Written on it were the words to one of my favorite songs:

Once in while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right

I glimpsed again at my little flyer and reflected on its meaning. The message seemed so clear to me. Chanukah comes around during the darkest part of the year. And it is during this intense darkness that Chanukah tells us to always have hope, just as the lights of our menorahs break through the bleakness of the dark. When we gaze at the flames, growing brighter each night, we sense not only the miracles that occurred for our ancestors, but also the miracles that we experience in our lives today. No matter how down or stuck we feel, or even how disconnected we seem, we should never give up or despair -- because we can find the light even in the "strangest of places" -- if we keep our eyes and hearts open.

I broke away from my intense thoughts, trying to locate the guy who handed me the paper. I wanted to express my gratitude. Was that him walking away? He glanced back at me for a moment that seemed much longer, and all I saw was this big, sweet Cheshire-cat kind of grin as he disappeared in the crowd.

Suddenly, I felt so connected and special. Who was this Chanukah messenger who made me feel a part of the Jewish people again?

A few months later, my friend, Janeen, dragged me kicking and screaming (okay, maybe just kicking) to a Shabbat dinner at her friend Stuie's apartment. The thought of spending a Friday night with a bunch of "religious" Jews didn't sound so great to me at the time. Finally, she said the magic words, "Stuie's a Deadhead, too, you know."

"Hmmmm, alright," I thought, "one little dinner won't kill me."

What an unforgettable night! I knew I would have to come back again. Everyone was singing the most beautiful tunes. Even though I had never heard them before, I felt like I had always known them. And then there was this rabbi from San Francisco. I had never heard a rabbi speak so deeply, yet humorously at the same time. Afterward, I felt compelled to tell him about my special Chanukah experience. He laughed and asked my host, Stuie, to tell me how he and Stuie had met.

Stuie wanted to spread a Chanukah message to all the Jews at the Grateful Dead concert.

Stuie related a story of several years previous, at Chanukah, when he was in the Bay Area for some Grateful Dead shows. The band played the song, "Scarlet Begonias" and when they came to the line, "Once in while, you get shown the light, in the strangest of places, if you look at it right," he had an inspiration. He thought it was a perfect line for what Chanukah -- the "festival of lights" -- is all about.

Stuie had an idea to make a little flyer and spread this Chanukah message to all the Jews who might come to the concerts, but he wanted to put a reference phone number on it. So Stuie asked this particular rabbi if he could put the rabbi's number on it. Thus was the birth of not only their friendship, but the flyer that meant so very much to me. I couldn't believe that I was having the most awesome Shabbat dinner at the home of the very guy who conceived of that flyer!

The following Shabbat, I came back, even though my friend Janeen couldn't join me. And slowly I started to come more and more -- first once or twice a month and eventually, every week.

"So," I explained to Jonathan and Julie, "That's how I got here..."

When I finished my story, I looked up at my friends. How could I have missed it? There in front of me was Jonathan sprouting that big Cheshire cat grin, as he said to me, "I'm the one who handed you that flyer."

The opinions expressed in the comment section are the personal views of the commenters. Comments are moderated, so please keep it civil.

Visitor Comments: 28

(23)
raizel,
February 20, 2012 10:58 PM

name of song

Its Sugar Magnolia not scarlett begonias....

Batsheva,
April 20, 2012 6:08 PM

Check again

Hey Raizel,
Both songs are about awesome women, so it might be easily confused. But check again- it is definitely Scarlet Begonias. Although I love both songs S.B (and a Scarlet/Fire combo) is my favorite!

(22)
Michelle Conniff,
December 21, 2011 5:54 AM

I also got that flyer, at the Oakland Coliseum, New Years run, 1987.

I have always remembered that flyer and may still have it in a "memory box". Happy Chanukah!

eriknathan,
December 22, 2011 10:26 AM

One of the greatest stories Ive ever read!!!!!!!!

Anonymous,
April 20, 2012 6:10 PM

The original year

Michelle, I think that '87 Oakland show was the very year Stuie Wax first made the flyers!

This gave me a great feeling about the chanukah celebration. I also had a similar experience in my youth.Now we celebrate chanukah with my children with great joy. thank you for this.

(19)
SharleneAncellKark,
December 15, 2006 8:45 AM

Your story brought a special light to our house.

Batsheva, your story brought a special light to our house as I recall how connected I feel to you and to Janeen and to your wonderful families. You sculpt beautiful images with your words.Happy Hanukkah. Sharlene Ancell Kark. Boulder, CO.

(18)
JanSteinhauser,
December 11, 2006 9:00 PM

Once again I was spellbound by Batsheva's story.

Though I'm not religious, Batsheva's true tales about life's "coincidences" have convinced me that there is some force that is truly at work for us.

Rabbi Moshe pesach geller,
December 21, 2011 8:57 AM

Coincidence?

Holy Woman, Jan, It is all One! There are no coincidences. There are only people who don't have the 'eyes' to see. That's why we need Light. To see into dark places. We tend to look outside ourselves. But if we look into the dark and hidden spaces deep inside, we find Light that transcends all the supposedly rational and logical. And these are such limiting places. We must embrace all the attributes bestowed by the One and Only One to truly 'see.'
I bless you with great Light.

(17)
Anonymous,
December 10, 2006 4:32 PM

inspiring

I i enjoy these stories. mansis.

(16)
Anonymous,
December 10, 2006 9:01 AM

I love this. Love, love, love it.

(15)
haidee,
June 13, 2006 12:00 AM

i really like your web site

(14)
L. Caber,
December 30, 2005 12:00 AM

I love the story. Thank you so much for sharing it.

(13)
Jessica K.,
December 24, 2005 12:00 AM

WOW!

Awesome story of Divine Providence! Just goes to show, there's no such thing as coincidence...

(12)
GIDEON,
December 23, 2005 12:00 AM

VERY COOL STORY

Thanks for sharing!

(11)
Yachad (nee Jamie Haber),
December 23, 2005 12:00 AM

Blessed with Jews at Dead shows, too

Having grown up near SF, I reached adulthood with little Judaic background. As an adult, I started spenindg time with the Langers and Chabadnics of SF. I met them through a course of Jewish meditation. I spent wonderfully fun Shabbat mealas with Stuie and his crowd both when they came to SF and when I went to LA to play. B"H, because of all that (and MANY Dead shows), I now have 2 kids in Yeshiva Elementary and am making aliyah this summer! THANKS TO ALL OF YOU.

(10)
laurie,
December 23, 2005 12:00 AM

Grateful Dead and Kiruv

There's a famous story in our community of a couple of young people who were "set up" for a Shabbat lunch with a local religious family.

During the meal, they got to talking about music, and all admitted to being Grateful Dead fans.

"So many wierd things happen at Grateful Dead concerts" one of the young visitors exclaimed. "I was at one concert many years ago, and a couple got up on stage and got married there".

The host couple glanced at each other, and said "that was us".

(9)
Hyam Singer,
December 23, 2005 12:00 AM

What a long strange trip it's been...

As a black-hat-wearing Orthodox Jew who still listens to a Grateful Dead tape or CD every once in a while in my car, this article was both appreciated and refreshing. I always felt there was sprituality in the Dead's music. I was also shocked to recently find out that Mickey Hart is Jewish!!

Anonymous,
December 21, 2011 8:59 AM

Mickey Hart Is Not....

Mickey is not Jewish. His father was and mother was not. His father became 'born (died?) again.'

(8)
Bea Hollander,
December 22, 2005 12:00 AM

A Message Of Hope

I am going Blind..due to one of my cancers..breast or blood cancer (WM) My husband is also very ill..I was siting at my computer tears flowing from my eyes..When I saw this story..I was able to see it enough to be able to read it..Miracle Of Miracle it felt like the HaShem was giving me Hope..
Thanks from my heart..
Bea Hollander

(7)
Yom Tov,
December 22, 2005 12:00 AM

knew it was Jonny

I knew who that Cheshire cat was in the middle of the story. Cool to see I was right. That's some grin! Jonny, your the best.
Love,
Yom Tov
ps. I met the Rabbi Backstage New Years 1991 (with Jonny).

(6)
lisa,
December 22, 2005 12:00 AM

I loved your article, I have heard that there is a lot of kiruv done at Grateful Dead Concerts, I am so glad to hear of someone who found there way from it!

(5)
Asi Spiegel,
December 22, 2005 12:00 AM

It would be really nice to mention the rabbi's name: Rabbi Yosef Langer from Chabad of San Francisco.

(4)
Lizzie B,
December 19, 2005 12:00 AM

What a fun story! Miracles seem to come in all shapes and sizes.. :)

(3)
judy,
December 18, 2005 12:00 AM

wow

wow!!!!!

(2)
The Krazz,
December 18, 2005 12:00 AM

A light in the strangest places is a spiritual awakening!

What a truly awesome spiritual experience. More proof that spirituality can be found everywhere. We do not look for it, but can only to recognize it, and open our hearts and souls to it!