my sister has recently been diagnosed with HIV. She had been dating a man for @ 2 years when she found out. The day she found out was the day he told her he has had AIDS for years. He knew he had HIV/AIDS and never told my sister. She's only 26, and I have so much anger for this man I don't know what to do. He's older and pretty much believed that he couldn't give it to anyone. My sister quit talking to him, but now she has been talking to him again. She says she needs to forgive so she can deal with this, but I know she's going to get back with him. Can she get HIV worse if she continues to sleep with him. Also I heard she can become immune to the medicines he is taking now which can do her good later. I am freaking out. I hate this guy and if she gets back with him I know it will tear us apart

I know it is hard to see your sister going through this but if she does decide to get back with him you can not shut her out. He was WRONG WRONG WRONG for not telling her. Family and support are a big part of getting through this. Their is a way for her to become immune to the meds if he was taking them and stopped. There are so many medications out there and keep growing every year. I am going to be 30 and only found out that I was poz 6 months ago. I have technically had it for 8 years from my daughters father who since has passed. If she caught it early her chances are great. Please just do not shut her out. Without my family and husband(who is neg) I do not know where I would be. My sister is my best friend and my rock. Things will work out. Let us know how she is doing. If you need to talk I am here.

Thank you for your response. This guy I just hate his guts. Even before I found out about his status I just didn't like him. I would never not talk to her, but I know we won't spend as much time together. We are really close in age, and have always been very close. When she was with him before it was like that, and I know it will be worse now. I love her to death, and it just kills me for her to go throught this. She just won't talk to me when she's with him, because he's a jerk and treats her like shit. I don't know how she could still love him after what he did to her, and me. I know he'll be gone soon, he's had AIDS for a long time, and I don't want her to watch him die. I don't think she can handle it.

I know the feeling. My sister hated my daughters father who is the one who infected me. Actuaklly my whole family hated him but I did not listen and look at me now. He was using drugs(crack/cocaine) and I was alone. Did not know where to go or what to do. I did see him while he was in the hospital last month for the first time in 6 years. I needed the closure. He did not know I was poz. It was closure for me and I am glad I did it but even through all he put me through, infecting me, never seeing our daughter and never trying to contact me, he still has a place in my heart.Your sister may also think that now with her diagnosis, he is all she can find and that is why she is going back to him. I think she needs to talk with someone who knows what it is like to be in that situation and have this disease. I thought when I was diagnosed my husband was going to fly out the door so fast that I would see fire marks behind him. Well, needless to say, he did not. I know of many people who are in +/- relationships. See if you can get her to talk to someone. Also, does he take meds? Has she been going to the Dr.? Please feel free to PM me if you want to talk.

Yes, my sister has been going to the Dr. since she found out. She is still I guess they say undetectable, so they haven't started her on anything yet. Her T-cells are very stable. They guy didn't take meds for years and years. He used to talk them, but stopped. Now he's taking very strong meds because his T-cells are low. He has had the disease for like 21 years. The doc's don't now how he has made it this long. My sister has had to make him see the dr. He just thinks it all in your head or something to stay well. I'm scared he will effect her health more or something. I don't know I just can't stand to think about it. She dosen't tell me when she's upset anymore. I know she's upset, and she just avoid's my calls cause she dosen't want to talk to me about it.

Well, now a days you can live so much longer then you could before with this disease. I was at a t-cell count of 52. I was diagnosed with AIDS. Now I have a t-cell count of 349 and undetectable. I think it defenitly has a lot to do with support. He does sound like a jerk if he thinks it is all in your head. My ex NEVER took meds until he was in the hospital dying but by then he had so many other problems they just could not fix. It's great that your sister is not in denial and is actually attempting to do what she has to do. I think that you should defenitly reassure her that you are there for her and anythu=ing you can do to help. Get educated on it so you can be there to help her out. I It is defenitly something that is going to take time for her to realize and get through. I still have a hard time but it is a slow process. Good luck!

I understand your anger and pain. But there is nothing you can do BUT be there for your sister when she needs you. She is dealing with alot. When you first find out the depression is unimaginable and you can make some stupid decisions. I started smoking again on purpose cause I thought "why not I am going to die". But that changed. Give her some time and let her make her own decisions. And constantly remind her to use condoms. Because yes, if she does not use condoms it is possible that he will give her mutated viruses because he is on meds. And she could become resistant to any drugs he may be taking. Good Luck and may god be with you and your sister.

--------------------"No act of kindness,
no matter how small,
is ever wasted." AESOP

Unfortunately for you, it is your Sister's decision. Despite him, do not let him come between you and Sis. You will have to be the strong one to tolerate this. Always let your Sister know that you are with her. There may come a time when she may be in need of you to be there for her--and then she can be lucky and do well and stay negative. You can't call which, but you can choose what to do about your relationship with your Sister.

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