Overall this has been a pretty great year. I feel really blessed and I could have never predicted that my life would look like it does now when I first wrote these goals down at the end of last year.

Breakthrough Realizations in 2013

I had some amazing realizations about myself and worldview this past year. Here are the ones that stick out to me:

1. The most important thing to me in the world is people and my number one emotional need is love.

You can build all the castles in the world, but ambition is worthless if you have no one to share its spoils with. (tweet this)

Once I realized this, I started spending more time on my relationships with people that I care about and romantic life.

Guess what? I’m way happier.

*This is simply what makes sense for my personal emotional needs. There is definitely people out there who are happier slaving away at achievement for achievement’s sake than enjoying the love of family, friends, and romance. That’s just not me.

2. Speaking of the S word Success, I’ve gotten better about internalizing that Success is actually something that you define for yourself…

There’s lots of people out there who’ve sold big companies, have bigger audiences, and wield more ripped abs than me. But despite achieving all these things that society tells them equates to success, they’re regularly unhappy, stressed, and empty.

If that’s what being “successful” looks like I don’t want it.

Where I screwed up and where most successful, yet unhappy people do is that they fail to properly “define and align.”

They typically fall into one of these camps:

1. They fail to define their own personal version of what a successful life looks like.

2. They define it, but it’s actually not in alignment with what creates true happiness for them. Sup pile of gold!

3. They actually define personal success properly, but fail to align their actions so that they’re living out a successful life regularly.

An example of this would be someone who defines a successful life as one that’s balanced and contains the company of great people. Yet despite this definition, they prioritize majority of their energy towards career advancement or making more money (often for no finite purpose.)

Their actions are not in alignment with the pursuit of their success definition RIGHT NOW.

Success for me is about being the person I want to be and having an abundance of freedom and people I love in my life.

Yeah, I still work a lot and do things I don’t like sometimes. But I try to enjoy the process and maintain balance because success is now! It’s not some destination I’ll eventually get to once I accomplish a certain number of things.

The sooner you realize “you’ve already made it,” and grow to savor the journey, the quicker you’ll become a happy clam.

3. Most people’s sustainable dream lives can be achieved without the egregious amount of wealth we tell ourselves we need.

I come from the lens of someone who doesn’t have a family to support and I’ve paid off my student loans. I get that peanut gallery! But I still maintain there’s an astounding unbalance of people who have the capacity to live out their perceived dreams and those who actually are.

For more on this idea read this article on The Fallacy of Money As A Means. There’s no need to save life’s deserts for when your fat and 50! Live some of your dreams in your prime.

4. The most important quality for cultivating charisma and attraction is energy. If you learn to master energy and charge conversations with it, people will want to follow and be around you. The words that come out of your mouth are far less important than the force you carry yourself with, at least in a social setting.

The interesting thing about energy is one of the best ways to build and maintain it is by being happy : )

5. Credentials are a trap. Yes, they help. But you’re a sucker if you don’t at least try to pursue your most grandiose ambitions because you don’t think you have credentials.

Many things I’m doing like writing a book and getting paid to speak I thought were only reserved for people who’d built rocketships. I realized this was really just a B.S. excuse I created to protect myself from trying.

When you start taking on grand pursuits you’re going to catch a lot of flack because most people possess the limiting beliefs I mentioned. Many people prefer to put others down than look in the mirror and ask themselves why they’re on the sidelines which is why getting heat is INEVITABLE. Just stay the path and smile big when you climb the podium.

In a few days, I’m going to share my goals for 2014 as well as the methodology I used to create them.

If you want to see the 7 step process I use for crafting holistically ambitious goals, you can download it here:

Re: your comment “The most important thing to me in the world is people and my number one emotional need is love.”, if you haven’t already seen it, I highly encourage watching the movie “Into the Wild.” Two of the more popular quotes — which are highly relevant to your path/(apparent) interests:

“Happiness is only real when shared.”
“The core of man’s spirit comes from new experiences.”

Huge fan of your honest, insightful writing. Keep it up, and here’s to an even more exciting, challenging, fulfilling 2014…

Have you been to a Tony Robbins event in person? If not, I’d highly suggest you put that on your list to accomplish in the near future. It’s definitely right up your alley. Happy to chat about it if you have any questions.

This was an amazing post, I’ve actually become extremely biased about your blog but then again, I just love everything you write about and how it interestingly enough is relevant to my life at most points. But I’m so glad you completed your goal and the things you thought about to help, instead of going for “instant doom syndrome” which a lot of people do. I’m proud of you Nicole, and thank you so much for posting about your experience. http://ilivetoinspire.com/make-the-world-give-you-what-you-want-anytime/ This can make you understand that everything is possible in a persevere man’s point of view.