Join us as we discuss verbal and emotional abuse, why it occurs, and how you can stop it. Anyone can join in by making comments on the different blogs we post. This blog is based on the work of Dr. Mike and Shelly Marshall and their book, respect-me
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Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Here is a sports hero who actually took responsibility for verbal abuse--it wasn't his lady and he didn't have any consequences, but you know, this is adult behavior! (well, after the fact). I really wish we had more "role models" like this. Kudos to you Malkin!

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Laura Cowan survived life in a very abusive situation--it was physical as well as verbal and emotional--She sent us this...I think she has totally turned her life around and now she gets the respect she deserves, what can we learn from her? she sent this in to show us all that if she can turn things around in the worst of circumstances, so can you! Check out what she has to say:

I'm a volunteer at the Domestic Violence Child Advocacy Center of Greater Cleveland. I'm a community activist, and a domestic violence advocate and a survivor of domestic violence. I've appeared on channel 3, channel 5 and channel 19, I was nominated and won for my community work in domestic violence from the American Red Cross Hero's award. I survived one of the most notorious domestic violence abuse cases in recent California history. My encounter with the twisted logic of abuse began in 1995 outside a motel room in Riverside. That’s when a spate of bad luck led me into a bizarre, four-year odyssey of polygamy, torture and psychological trauma. The case, involving 19 victims, made national headlines, even CNN, earning the abuser seven life terms in prison. As outrageous as it was, my story fits a typical pattern. It’s a story of fear so intense it strips victims of everything but the will to survive. Now a speaker, counselor and forceful advocate for abused women I would like to bring awareness to Domestic Violence. The LA Times did a multimedia piece on my story. please click on the links below to view it. The video, multi-media piece and story that the LA Times did on me and my family, are all the links below (there are 3 parts): http://framework.latimes.com/2011/11/10/laura-cowan/ http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-laura-cowan-20111109,0,4263212.story

Friday, January 4, 2013

I just picked up a flyer from Yucca Valley's admin office here is California. It intrigued me because it was titled , "Social Host ordinance." This is yet another law to deter drinking in underage youth. Basically, this ordinance makes it illegal and you libel if you serve alcohol to minors. According to the pamphlet over 90% of teens say home is the place where they get and drink alcohol.

I have trouble with this on many levels but the first is that you cannot legislate family morals and values. Once again government is stepping into our homes to take over, because they know better than us.

For all the parents I work with, they already KNOW that it is illegal to serve and host illegal drugs and alcohol to minors. They know this. so the the new "ordinance" does exactly what?

I am for parental responsibly, yet adding another layer of laws to control families (for laws that already exist is not the answer). OK, it makes the city council members feel good--like they have "helped" their community, but what they have actually done is added another layer of nanny government and accomplishing nothing.

Education is a much better solution. I like the little pamphlet but abhor the creation of bigger government to "save" us from ourselves.

Consider this In the 1960s, 7 percent of new female drinkers were ages 10 to 14. Today the figure is at 31 percent.And our "War on Drugs" (ie more enforcement, more laws, bigger government) is questionable "Despite a high incarceration level for drug offenses at both the federal and state level, the effectiveness of the anti-drug strategy is questionable. On the supply side, drugs continue to be widely available at lower prices on the street. At the user level, the dramatic reversal of American drug use which occurred in the 1990's has changed and the percentage of Americans regularly using drugs remains high. Lifetime drug use by high school seniors has fluctuated between 40% and 55% over the last 20 years" Here is MADDs take--I support social responsibly and their guidelines, just not making government bigger.

MADD - Social Host: "What is Social Host?
Social host refers to adults who host parties where alcohol is served on property they control. Through social host liability laws, adults can be held responsible for these parties if underage people are served, regardless of who furnishes the alcohol. Teen parties are a primary setting for underage drinking for high school and college students and high consumption of alcohol and binge drinking."

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

When you practice learning self-respect and how to force your partner to respect (which doesn't involve force at all), you don't have to worry about leaving them--if they can't learn to respect you, they often are the ones to leave. I know, because when I set my boundaries --ie, you will not run naked around the neighborhood and you will seek help) he chose to leave me. I insisted we live apart while he get therapy--and us together -and once we were in therapy, we could decide if we had a marriage worth saving. He decided he would leave me because "I would not stand by him." Well, I saw it as me going above and beyond, but he saw it as desertion...

Go figure. In any case, yes, I'm glad he left, although it was not my first choice--below read about a woman who left her abuser--good story.

Life With An Abuser vs Life Free to Choose| Verbal Abuse | Emotional Abuse | About Domestic Violence: "I left my life with an abuser almost three years ago, and the real roller coaster ride revealed itself. On the uphill climbs" I feel simultaneously excited and worried about reaching the top. Sitting on the peak, before the thrilling plummet, I feel on top of my game, as if nothing can break me. The ride down leaves me breathless, heart pounding, and then, as everyone whose ridden a roller coaster knows, there is a period of hairpin turns and loops; during this part of the ride I feel out of control and uncomfortable.