The very thing that you feel is going to destroy you may be the thing that will make you, and what you feel may be the end of you, may well be the beginning.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Mr. Maybe?

So I posted on FB the other day, then removed it after a day or 2 that status didn't get any replies but the status that followed it did... The post that followed it went something like : "FYI ,The Previous status was not about YOU or YOU or YOU!"
The status that made me write that one, went something like! Never fails... Murphy's law, I dumped $$ into a date site, (live and learn) and the very next day (go figure) Mr. Maybe starts to text me again, haven't heard from him since July... IDK We shall see...
Well now after I posted that I got to thinking a certain few who do read my status may think I was talking about them since they sent a few text around the same time Mr Maybe did...
Not to many make their way here, So I thought I would just get my thoughts out here.
They were all in my head when I went out for a walk now they are all gone, I hate when that happens...
Now it won't come out the way I really wanted it to, but here goes anyway.
L it wasn't meant to you, your friendship means the world to me , and I don't want to scare you away, thinking that the post was about you.
K, ugh wasn't towards you either... there are days I wish we could get our "stuff" together...
Mr Maybe (?) currently has no Internet so he says... when he first came to face book back in early spring we talked and kept in touch almost every day, until the day he sent a letter saying he moved out of state...
Well Thursday morning a week ago, I opened my profile back up on a date site, it was telling me I have letters and flirts and winks and to see them I had to pay, Well something in side of me said who knows, I've done the on line thing before and met a few great friends that way "L" ... Well I did @@ I thought they were going to take it out monthly but they took it out all in one lump sum ....
The very next night my cells dings it's Mr Maybe "I want to see you!" ME: "I thought you moved?" Mr Maybe: "Are you kidding me? It was a joke!" Me: "ha ha" (insert sarcasm ) .... these text went on for the next 24 hours non stop even ones at 4 am.... Mr Maybe: "Are we dating?" Me: "Idk, r we?"
So now we are "seeing!"
I don't know though... I'm confused... been riding solo for 9 yrs kinda of like it, it took me awhile to get to this point in my life. Although some nights I miss being with someone. Riding solo isn't that bad.
I went out with Mr Maybe way back in the day, before David ( the ex) we were young 14 & 15... He broke up with me for another girl... maybe that was my kamra though cuz I broke up with K to go out with G but like I said we were young....
back in May, June and July of this year when we were talking, he mentioned me moving to be with him, He in so many words said "move here!" I told him "I can't afford it!" he said "I can"
but that kind of was dropped... BUT I am NOT comfortable with uprooting my kids for a man... What IF ( nothings guaranteed in life) things didn't work out and he tells me to get my shit and get out and the kids and I are left homeless? I feel like if a If a man wants me, nothing can keep him away.
I've lived here in this house for 20 yrs the same house the same town, my kids have grown up here. This is their home and I won't up root them for anyone.. If a man wants to be with me and cares about me he would understand this. Until my kids are grown and out on their own I am staying put.
So since Monday the texts have slowed down they are few and far, he did have his kids last night. So who knows... I am not sure what to do! Do I stay on the date site, I paid for it, UGH! If I didn't pay for it this probably wouldn't of ever happened.

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About Me

My name is Sharon, and I am a single mom to 4 wonderful children!I Live In Pa,
have all my life! my now X husband who thought the grass would be greener on the other side! He left us 6 yrs ago (2001), after being together for 18 yrs (married 11 dated 7yrs before marriage).
At the age of Nine the Dr's discovered I have Scoliosis... In 2005 a Intrathoracic meningocele on my spine,
I also have this genitic disorder... neurofibromatosis.
IN NOV of 2007 I was found to have GIST - (GIST is a rare type of sarcoma found in the digestive system, most often in the wall of the stomach. Some GISTS are benign (not cancerous) but they can become cancerous if not treated. Generally speaking, the larger the GIST, the more likely it is to be cancerous.)My GIST was cancerous. The Dr's got it all and So far so good!
That is Why I named my blog... I'm a Survivor... For all I have been through in 42 years!