Advice for the heart: Marry a smart woman

Thank God I married a smart woman. And one who majored in English. Commas, colons and semicolons are a puzzle to me. I'd still be, were it not for her, wondering whether to use "a" or "an," "affect" or "effect," "escapee" or "escaper." I'll die before I know the meaning of a compound noun. This column wouldn't have lasted one year if I'd married a not-so-literate wife. But, just as important, I might have died long ago from heart disease. A new study shows that marrying smart is good for the heart.

Investigators from the Institute of Nutrition Research at the University of Oslo analyzed 20,000 married men over a 14 year period. The men, ages 35 to 56 years were part of a study looking at a number of risk factors for cardiovascular disease.

Researchers obtained information about their cholesterol levels, blood pressure, smoking habits, weight and exercise routine. They were asked if they had a history of heart disease or angina and if they were taking medication to decrease blood pressure.

But these researchers prodded further. They wanted to know which men had married bright women and who had walked down the aisle with a not-so-well-educated bride.

Out of the 20,000 men the wives of 6,000 were less educated than their husbands, 5,000 wives were better educated and the rest had similar education levels.

The result showed that the men with intelligent wives had the jump on cardiovascular disease. They had lower blood cholesterol, smoked less, exercised regularly and were less likely to be overweight.

But how does all this brilliance in women affect (or is it effect) us men? Dr. Haakon Meyer, the main investigator, provides the answer in the International Journal Of Epidemiology. He says that our wives make all the decisions about food and family lifestyle.

In the majority of households they decide what goes into the supermarket cart. Will it be homogenized or skim milk? Will it be loaded with cookies and soda drinks containing sugar? Will they choose any vegetables? Will there be more fish or more meat in the basket? And which cooking oil will they choose? In the end Dr. Meyer reasons that better educated women make healthier decisions.

Now in the clear light of dawn I wonder why Dr. Meyer had to study 20,000 married men to know what every man already knows. That wives have always made such decisions for us. But how many of us knew it would save us from coronary attack?

Some readers who know I had a heart attack four years ago might be saying, "Why didn't your wife's intelligence help you? Or maybe she's not that bright." But it's wiser to conclude that without her I might have had a coronary 20 years earlier.

If you've been lucky to marry a smart woman there's an additional benefit. She's not only going to live longer but also stay smarter longer.

Researchers at the University of Leiden in Holland studied 599 men, a combination of married couples, unmarried, widows and widowers all aged 85. They discovered that the women were mentally quicker and sharper than the men. In word and number recognition tests the women gave speedier responses. They also beat the men in memory tests.

But another and more disturbing finding for men surfaced. Researchers found that 70% of the women tested had had little education while more than half the men were well-educated. Yet the men still lost out to the women!

Investigators concluded that social factors did not account for this difference in intelligence. Rather, that men lost out biologically. It was a polite way of saying (in these proper times when we cannot profile anyone) that women were born smarter than men.

Do I feel depressed with this finding? Not at all. I can live with the fact that my wife knows what a compound noun is and I never will. Or hearing her say, "You can't say that in your column!" After all, if she had allowed me to say everything I wanted to say I'd probably be standing in the dock. So I say "Amen, and thank heaven for smart wives."