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Funny satire stories about contest

DENVER - The director of The Colorado State Cannabis Coalition, Lucy "Sinsemilla" Coxcoogan has just informed the press about the state's 1st Annual Marijuana Smoking Contest.
Miss Coxcoogan said that the one-of-a-kind event will be held in Denver...

OSLO, Norway - Onni Ristopani, 36, has always had a tremendous fondness for sardine sandwiches and now, it has finally paid off.
Ristopani has just won The 57th Annual Oslo Sardine Sandwich Eating Contest by devouring a total of 313 sardine sandwi...

NEW ORLEANS - The Louisiana Department of Festivities has just announced that a 61-year-old high school geography teacher from Lafayette, Louisiana has just won first place in the 1st Annual Louisiana Twerking Contest.
Noranelle Grainquist was the...

POCATELLO - The director at Pocatello's Au Gratin Potatoes Senior Citizens Home, Artie Knoxmelon, 49, has apologized to the families of 19 of his residents.
Knoxmelon told the news media that he had seen Miley Cyrus twerking on a television show a...

TULSA, Oklahoma - Local resident Emily Normina Sarkensiggle, 43, was both thrilled and saddened by a recent event.
Miss Sarkensiggle who is engaged to Darnell Oldenheimer, 51, won this year's National Tabasco Drinking Contest, which is held every...

MILWAUKEE - Little six-year-old Milly Cottondandy had no idea that she would win The Heinz Ketchup Sports Drawing Contest when her mother Leslie told her to draw a picture of a soccer player.
Milly, who is a devoted fan of Manchester United and es...

LITTLE ROCK, Arkansas - Claire "Cookie" Starkdiffy, 79, told the local authorities that she had no idea that what she did was against the law.
Mrs. Starkdiffy, who was divorced in 2010 by her husband Wardley Starkdiffy after 51 years of marriage,...

This week a furor of verbiage over who, what, when, and why a nation is "indispensable" has swarmed across the globe very quickly.
In fact, the very latest updates indicate a global contest is already underway.
The world's smallest island nat...

MILWAUKEE - All of her life, Millicent "Milly" Sauerbraten has said she's wanted to do something that would go down in history.
Well the 68-year-old grandmother has now achieved that goal. Mrs. Sauerbraten participated in the 73rd Annual Milwaukee...

Boston, MA - The Boston Tribune's randomly chosen entry into The Best Letter from Mom While You Were at Camp Contest appears below. This week's entry was submitted by Debbie Jones of Dover, MA.
Dear Debbie,
Dad and I (and the admin that I suspect is Dad's new mistress) are so happy to hear that your summer "job" at the Big Game Reserve in South Africa is going well (especially since Dad and...

YUMA, Arizona - The 19th Annual Arizona Wet T-Shirt Contest was held in Yuma and this year's overwhelming winner was Loribelle Tantaletti of Flagstaff.
But Tantaletti's victory was short lived as Governor Jan Brewer soon learned from an unnamed so...

SAN ANTONIO - The United States Drinking Society Federation (USDSF) has just announced that the winner of The 2013 Best Drink in America is the Margarita.
The name Margarita was also chosen as The Most Popular Female Name of The Year.
USDSF spo...

JONESBORO, AR--As anticipation for the long-waited movie adaptation of Suzanne Collins' bestselling novel The Hunger Games reached a fever pitch on Monday, local Arkansas radio station 100.5 FM The Eagle knew it had to take advantage of this incredib...

The United States Commission on State License Plate Slogan Approval has just granted ten states permission to change their vehicular license plate slogans for 2013.
The executive director of TUSCOSLPSA Winnie Leona "Tags" Tagliobissi stated that they had to reject the slogans of two states and ask that they submit a secondary entry.
The commission rejected Arizona's slogan "The Non-Hola Stat...

In front of a large studio audience, human Brad Rutter tied an IBM Computer named "Watson" at a game of Jeopardy on the first day of their battle over who or which is the smarter.
"Watson", the IBM Computer, even got a question right about the Bea...

A fairy in a pink wig (and certainly not your usual straight, nerdy, Scrabble player), has shocked the world and won the UK's Scrabbler of the year contest.
The guy or girl (?), big fan of Lady GaGa, unshaven (a dead give away) and looking pretty...

Takeru Kobayashi is a free man after a New York judge ruled to dismiss all charges against the skinny Japanese speed-eater accused of crashing a hot dog eating contest.
Human python Kobayashi holds records for eating:
63 hot dogs in 12 minutes...

The World Gobbing Festival will go ahead as planned on 17/07/09. Below are the entry categories (beginners and foreign gentleman welcome by the way).
Cough and Gob Distance Contest:
Current UK record held by Maurice Heave of Chelmsford, 5.7 metres.
Consecutive Gobs over the Rugby Post:
Current UK record held by Mary Griffiths of Clwyd, North Wales. 57 Gobs of varying sizes and textures.

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