“Trash begets trash.” A guy I was dating once said this while we were picnicking somewhere and noticed an area that was filled with litter. What he meant was that once a few people start dropping their trash on the ground, others follow suit, until you have a real mess. (This was sadly one of the wisest things he ever said.)

There are lots of reasons this occurs. There’s a sociological component here which was demonstrated in a college course I once took. The instructor called one person up to the front of the class and asked her to hop like a bunny. The girl blushed and awkwardly hopped in a half-hearted manner. Then the teacher kept calling others to the front of the room and by the time there were about 5 or 6 people up there, they were laughing and hopping like crazy, and once the whole class came up, it was a hopopalooza. Her point? We are HUGELY influenced by the people around us.

I know, you’ll say, “Not me. I’m an independent thinker.” But I want you to notice how you’re dressed, the programs you watch on TV, the model cell phone you have, and the way you wear your hair. I want you to think about singing karaoke in your local watering hole, or being pulled into a gossipy conversation among friends, or complaining about your boss at work. What influences your decisions here? And why?

The new agers (like me) often emphasize the ONENESS of us all, and while some will roll their eyes and think it’s just incense smoke and mirrors created to avoid the REAL problems of the world, it is clear that the ONENESS of our connected energy is extremely powerful in influencing our choices and behavior. I would expand upon the sociological component here and say it’s the ENERGY of others’ words, actions and even thoughts which can influence our own.

With this in mind, I’d like you to consider your part here. How accountable are you for the energy you’re putting out there? Are you aware of how powerful it is? If you’re spewing hatred and anger, whether it’s on Twitter, in a Facebook rant, face-to-face among friends, or even just in your thoughts, you’re creating an energetic vibration which resonates with those feelings. It doesn’t matter how justified you think your feelings are, they’re still creating a vibrational frequency of hatred and anger, much as a tuning fork vibrates to a C Sharp no matter how it’s struck. And on some level, that powerful frequency is being felt and passed along by those you come into contact with, creating a ripple effect of energy that extends far beyond your social circle.

So does this means you’re never allowed to have a negative emotional reaction to challenging circumstances? Do you have to stuff your anger, hold back your tears, or push aside your fears? Not at all, since working through our emotions is a vital way to grow, heal and evolve. What it means is that there are lots of healthy ways to deal with emotions which don’t involve spewing negatively around like a lawn sprinkler. It means sitting with your feelings and working through them first, before you consider exploding in a rage on social media. It means calling in the assistance of close friends, or perhaps a professional, who can help you see your way through difficult situations you may be dwelling on. It means understanding that your visceral reaction to a perceived situation may not be based on the whole truth, and that perhaps there are other perspectives to consider. It means using your powerful emotions to motivate positive action toward change. It means being careful, thoughtful and compassionate about the energy you emit, as it is a powerful force in the world around you.

Yep, I’ve had my moments of anger, disappointment, outrage, and despair. Yes, I’ve felt lost and alone, broken-hearted and frustrated, misunderstood and foolish. When these feelings arise, I look at them and decide how best to find the gift within them for my highest good, and when I do that, it NEVER feels like the best thing to do is blast them into the ethers as the one and only truth. Once I’ve been able to work through my emotions, adjust my perspective, and return to the truth of love, then I know that I have a story to share which can be based on my true intention, which is to inspire, uplift and empower.