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Thursday, December 17, 2015

Comics Rant: Batman #46

Super? Heavy? Superheavy? Yes, folks, the storyline that sent shockwaves throughout the Batman offices, since, well the last fucking storyline is still going strong. Jim Gordon is still the goddamn Batman, wearing what can only be described as Bat-workout gear and a mecha Batman suit. Seems like Scott Snyder has been watching too much Mobile Suit Gundam. Amirite? Okay, enough with the jokes. I got a rant to dive deep into.

Mr. Bloom has attacked. Okay, wait, that's too strong a word. Hmm, okay he's shown up at a fundraiser for new Gotham PD Commissioner Sawyner and Geri Powers, who runs Powers industry and created the new Batman program. He does the whole James Bond villain thing by talking to everyone, but just for a bonus, he kills some of the guests, too. Well, here's hoping homeboy had a check list of whom to off.

But just like in some comics, the hero, Batman shows up to confront Mr. Bloom. I'd like to give Greg Capullo cred for creating a legit scary new villain in Mr. Bloom. Props. Geri Powers is a total moron. Batman saves her life, but all she can bring up is that she fired his ass back in Batman #45. Uhm, not the best time to bring that up there, Geri. Just saying. Batman gets a bit overpowered by Bloom, but the Bat Mecha suit comes busting through a wall to save Bat-Jim's now-in-shape-ass.

Bloom runs cuz he's not gonna stick around and fight the Bat-suit. Good for him. Geri Powers wants to send a whole giant armada of Bat suits to go after Mr. Bloom. Gordon figures that this is a bad idea. Since everyone in Gotham City is still on pins and needles from when the Joker came to town with his whole plan to uhmm, Ma... that Joker story happened so long ago, I forgot. I think it had something to do with drugs and killing everyone in Gotham and knowing that Batman is Bruce Wayne. The fuck? I wonder how many drugs were taken during the making of this storyline.

Bat Gordon talks Geri Powers into sending him after Mr. Bloom and not the Bat Armada. As a show of... uh... force? Yeah, I don't get it either. Gordon's argument is if he dies the city gets a new Batman. But if he doesn't die, the city will still get a new Batman since he got canned. Yup. And that's not even a joke. It's really a legit part of the story.

Side plot time. Bruce is nude in a shower and asks Julie Madison to marry him. The fuck? Not digging Bruce in the buff here, and where the hell did Julie get all those tattoos and tramp stamp from? What was she? A teen in the late 1990's? Ugh. Let's move on to the main story, eh?

Bat-Gordon gets inside his Bat-Gundam and goes to confront Mr. Bloom. He's got this new device to de-power Bloom. But surprise! That shit don't bother Mr. Bloom. He countered Bat-Gordon's tech and has some of his own and takes control of the Bat-Mecha suit and he's ordered it to kill Gordon. Oh, no! Tune in right back here in 3 to find out what happens. Or you could just go buy the damn book. Either one works for me. I'm Tash.