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The Chocolate Drawer

There’s the Bermuda Triangle, there’s the Black Hole, and then readers, then there’s the Chocolate Drawer. It has been said that in the Chocolate Drawer, a number of pieces of chocolate of various types and sizes have disappeared under mysterious circumstances. The Chocolate Drawer can be found in a part of the world that few dare to travel to for fear that they will never return and readers, that part of the world, is My Refrigerator.

For those of you daring enough to try to navigate the Chocolate Drawer, be warned and plan your trip carefully. You probably want to avoid visiting during, or immediately after Halloween, Christmas, and Valentine’s Day. These are times when the chocolate drawer is particularly treacherous and may even overflow to other regions of the refrigerator that can also be dangerous for completely different reasons. These regions include The Fruit Drawer, The Refrigerator Door, and even The Freezer.

They say there is an evil ogre who keeps guard over the Chocolate Drawer. She is known by several monikers including ‘She Who Guards the Fridge Evilly’, ‘She Who Holds the Key to the Chocolate Drawer’, ‘Satan’s Guardian of All That Is Chocolate’, and ‘Rock N’ Roll Supermom’. (what??) Also, beware her two winged monkeys who can’t seem to keep their grubby little hands out of the drawer, and can become vicious if provoked.

Very few have visited the Chocolate Drawer and returned. While popular culture has attributed various disappearances, supernatural activity, and even the presence of extraterrestrial beings to the Chocolate Drawer, scientific evidence can only support the occasional staining of clothing, chocolate beards and mustaches, and of course, mild to severe stomach aches.

Those of you who still show interest in visiting the Chocolate Drawer should be well aware of all the risks you are subjecting yourself to. The Surgeon General of the Chocolate Drawer (because there is one of those you know) warns: Visits to The Chocolate Drawer May Be Hazardous to Your Health, Side Effects of Visiting the Chocolate Drawer May Include Addiction, Head Rushes, Weight Gain and of course Death, Do Not Make Eye Contact with Rock N’ Roll Supermom, and above all, Do Not Pet or Feed the Monkeys….BUT I SAY…

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18 thoughts on “The Chocolate Drawer”

I have 3 emergency dark chocolate snickers bars in an secret location known only to me. As Uncle never does anything resembling housekeeping, they are safe. Hmmm, 8 inches of snow this weekend. I sense an emergency in my future.

In my household there’s absolutely no possibility of having a chocolate drawer… it would always be full of wrappers and no chocolate!! 😉 That’s why I keep my personal secret stash… and I have to move the location constantly to avoid teenage or husband ransacking!

Thinking about current things: social, political and cultural issues and their representation in the news media. Things I am currently thinking about: 'theory', philosophy, literature, criticism/critique, media theory, etc...