Thursday, December 21, 2006

True Wife Confession 137 pieces of old hard ribbon candy

Confession #1361

Why am I with you? Why have I stayed with you? I guess I am so attached toyou that you have become a project almost. A self-tormenting project. WhenI met you, you wanted to be better and asked if I would help you become thegood man that you knew you could be. You asked me to help you stopdrinking, gambling, smoking and looking at so much porn I'm surprised youhave skin left on your dick. I said I would because I loved you so. Now, Iam pregnant, and there has been no end to your addictions. I don't evenknow how many times I have thrown you out of my house (thank God it's MINE)to have you BEG and PLEAD about how you are going to make it better. Notonly am I pregnant, but you have now hit me. Oh sure it was only in thearm, but you wonder why my compassion is gone and all that is left isdisdain. Basically, I'm waiting for the baby to arrive and then, you are agoner bud. Don't think for a second I can't raise this baby on my own. Inthe meantime, I'm draining your account. After that, I'll screw you todeath in court. But for now, I love you and am waiting patiently.

Confession #1362

Why do you have to shove my shoes to the corner when they’re in your way! Why don’t you just put them up like I do yours EVERY time!

Confession #1363

I know you cheated the 1st time. I know who those text messages were from. Why did I marry you? Why did I let you talk me in to it. I loved you so much, I done everything you wanted. Why couldn't you have just let me be. You knew you couldn't be faithful, so why did you even comeback? Now that we are divorced, I realize so much. You are still with her, the one that helped you destroy our marriage. I just don't get it. Why do you still call me and tell me this song or that song reminds you of me? Why do you still call me and tell me you would give anything to have things they way the use to be? I have moved on, I am with some one who truly loves me, and b/c of you and the pain you have caused me, I have the hardest time opening up to him. I tell myself I wish you would quit calling, I hate you! But then deep down when you don't call, I miss you, I get sad. When I am driving along and I hear that song that describes us perfectly. I cry, I get mad and argue w/ him b/c your not there. I just wish this confusion and pain would go away. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH but yet I hate you even more! I hate that your with the nasty skank that you cheated with while we were married. You say your coming back to our home state. WHY? Just stay gone. It is easier that way for me. Don't come back and try to screw things up for me and my new life. Let it go, If you .love me like you say you do. Be happy for me and let me go. As i will do the same.

Just wish I could express myself like this to you, instead of giving in to you and babying you when you call me to say hi or tell me how much you hate her.

The past is gone, let it go!

Confession #1364

Being married is alot harder than I thought it would be but not for thereasons that everyone else (myself included) thought.

I knew going into this that money would always be tight and we still had tofinish getting out of each other's debt.

I knew going into this that we still wouldn't see each other very muchthroughout the week because we both have very demanding careers.

I knew going into this that people would say "You guys are HOW old?!"

I knew going into this that I would no longer be at the crazy home I grew upin with all of the noise of people running around, doing homework, playingand listening to music.

What I didn't realize was how easy it is to live without "extras" like goingto the movies, going out to dinner and Ben & Jerry's ice cream.

What I didn't realize was how much more special our time together is becauseour lives are even more busy since we walked down the aisle. Being able tocuddle up with you every night is amazing and I sleep so much better now.

What I didn't realize is how lucky we are to have been brought together andhave our lives in enough order to be able to get married and continue ourfamily.

What I didn't realize (until recently) is how nice it is to be able to comehome and night and watch what I want to watch without having to fight withthe other eleven people in the house over the tv.

We have been together for four years and we have made it through more roughtimes than I would like to admit but we have worked hard to make ourrelationship a success. You have been the greatest father a little boycould ever dream of having to my son.....he's yours now too (officially).Even though you make me want to punch you in the throat for the stupidthings you say and do at times, I can't imagine my life without you. Iconsider myself to be the luckiest woman alive.

You understand me more than any person ever has and you put up with mysometimes bratty ways.

I understand that you are not very good with your words and shove both feetin your mouth at the most inopportune times.

But, despite everything that we have going against us, I think we havefound the secret to a successful marriage.........as long as you get towatch the Bears and I get undisturbed two hour bubble baths at least onenight a week, everything is peachy. ;)

I love you!

Confession #1365

Just when I have left you in my mind, you do something so sweet, so insightful, so considerate that I doubt my reasons for wanting to leave you. I think to myself - "No one will ever know me like he does. No one will ever love my quirks, my oddities, my moods the way he does."

Confession #1366

When you lay down beside me the other night and TALKED to me. Really talked to me. Not about our child. Not about money, not about how tired you are or how sick you feel. But Talked. Real Human adult conversation. Those are the moments that I am reminded why I fell in love with you. I wish you would do this more often.

Confession #1367

I do a lot to "keep my appearance up" for you. I'm growing out my hair, I keep it dark, I shave parts of my body that I would otherwise not pay as much attention to, I work out. So please don't be a fucking baby and act like my attractiveness will be "ruined" if I get another piercing in a place that you're not wild about.

I don't ask you to keep your hair a certain way or wear certain things or to get more tattoos. I ask you to work out to stay healthy. That's about it. I don't tell you, "I won't be attracted to you if you do x", so please don't do that to me.

I'm a big girl, and I'm not going to keep being the me that YOU want me to be. I won't live forever, my youth will be gone before I know it, so I'm going to do what I want to my body now while I can still get away with it. I don't want to wake up when I'm middle-aged and wish I'd done things differently.

Confession #1368

When you make me laugh unexpectedly - I love you deeply. I wish you would do that more.

Confession #1369

Baby,

Thank you for everything you do. Thank you for taking me back even though I broke your heart once before. I know you want to marry me and be with me for the rest of my life. I want the same to. I love you with all my heart. I just wish I could let the past go. I have the hardest time w/ moving on. Mostly b/c of him. I know I take things out on you b/c of him and I hold up our future b/c of that. Please know I will never go back to him, I could never deal with not having you. But i must tell you, he does call me more than you think. I wish I cold tell him to forget about me, move on and quit calling. But I feel sorry for him. Baby I love you and I will be your wife and I will have you children just like you want me to. But I must tell you that it will take time for me to open up my whole heart. he does still hold a piece.

i love you with everything i have. thank you for being there for me through everything.

Confession #1370

How did we get here? When we first got together it was pure heaven / hell. We went through so much just to be together, and it felt like we were partners, and we had each other's back. It didn't matter that your family disapproved. Not to the point that we would leave each other. So what I was with your Cuz first? I thank God sometimes for it, b/c if not I wouldn't have ever met you. You taught me what it was like to be treated well. But that was a long time ago. I thank you for motivating me even though you didn't even know it. I had such low self esteem about myself that I couldn't bring myself to tell you I didn't even have my damn GED. But I got it. And when I showed it to you and confessed, you told me you were proud of me. That to me was worth millions. I don't know if I would be in school if it wasn't for you. You showed me how beautiful it is to be motivated, and want better things for myself.

With that being said, I think what's best is for us to be apart. I've accepted so much from you and been through so much denial that I stuck by when I found out you were talking to your Ex, and other girls. You think I don't know, but I know that you and her still talk. I'll go along with it for now because, I have other more important things on my plate than to worry about your foolishness. The reason you don't want to get married yet is because, you don't want to MARRY ME. Admit it already! I so badly wanted to be your wife that I put up with this. But it's the very reason why I shouldn't marry you in the first place. You don't know that you have a down ass chic and I would do anything for you. I have in the past. Even though we have had our problems, you can't ever say I haven't been there for you. Now HE'S moving down here. The one that got away. The one that despite it all, after all these years still has my heart. HE'S not moving here for me, but if he gave me the chance I'd be with him in a second. It's not like I have anything to look forward to with this relationship. This "relationship" has been over from a long time ago. Man up and tell me that you have already moved on, even though you are still physically here. You don't know that YOU JUST LOST ONE, IT'S SO SILLY-HOW COME?

I've had one foot out the door for a long time. But now both feet are out. You should be afraid. Because once I'm gone that's it. You should know that already. Just ask your Cuz. LOL.