They took my cork screw away from me. I told my wife I had picked it up at a wine conference we had flown back from without problems. My wife pointed out that we had flown OUR AIRPLANE back from that conference...ooops.

Last week I went through and had a cheap (disposable) pen in my shirt pocket. It didn't set off the WTMD but the agent insisted I go back and put it in a bin. Screw it, you keep it.

When I read stories like this I think back to the time I had to go through a Chinese security check. I was pulled to a side room with four airport security officers inside two female and two male. I was made to strip completely nude and one of the female officers preformed the inspection without any protective gloves. This female officer took hold of my penis like a person would if they intended to masturbate me and she lifted it up down and to both sides with her other hand doing the same to my testicles. Giving that I have an extreme libido, her face close enough to feel her breath and she wasn't quick about it I became erect which in no why deterred her actions. When she completed her inspection she stood up and then proceeded to ask me a lot of questions as I stood there nude with an erection. Eventually the two male officers left the room when something came in on one of their radios and I was left with the two female officers. The reason I was told that the two females were present is, because they spoke English and I will stop the story there. It seems some guy's gloved hand touching my penis through my clothes is no real big deal to me so these stories come off as more of an attention grab.

That's why the whole thing makes no sense. If you have your own plane, or charter a plane, you aren't even in the same part of the airport as those clowns.

If it's your plane, either owned or rented, you can bring a shotgunon board if you want.

Actually, while it's probably true you could, in real life, walking onto the flight line with anything that even looks like a gun is going to cause you some problems.

Of course, if you have your own plane, chances are you aren't at a big airport. Chances are you are a few miles away at a GA field where there is NO security beyond a fence, and the worst thing you have to worry about is the fuel truck operator being late.

Cewley:i'm thinking that if the tsa screenings are keeping people from doing bad shiat, then that's the price we have to pay. this twinkee can take the farking bus if she has a problem.

And we could frisk every newborn baby on the 1 in a BILLION to the power of a GOOGLEPLEX off-chance that one of those little farkers could have smuggled a shiv out of the vagina (fashioned from a long forgotten IUD).

But is it REALLY worth it though to be so PARANOID that you impose your paranoia on EVERYONE else (the VAST MAJORITY of which are totally innocent)?(That's a rhetorical question btw.... that answer of which (for those too dense to understand) is NO.)

RobSeace:Kahabut: Joce678: Cewley: i'm thinking that if the tsa screenings are keeping people from doing bad shiat,

But they're not.

When was the last airliner hijacked? When did the TSA start?

You were saying?

This is the same exact logic that proves the effectiveness of the tiger-repelling rock... Namely, faulty logic...

/Or, was that the joke?

I'd say it was halfway between.

I'm making fun of the op's logic, by using something equally spurious.

That being said, in all seriousness, there have been no hijackings since the TSA started... which is at least suggestive that they are doing something right, but certainly not conclusive, or even correlated. In the real world, nothing is black and white. The TSA might be stopping hijackings just by existing, despite their apparent lack of skill, acumen, or intelligence. The fact is we don't actually know. So it could be either way. (and in either case, it's probably not worth it.)

"Seriously though why not offer Americans an actual choice between flights with full screening and ones without any screening at all?"

In an industry that operates in perpetual bankruptcy, this would not be feasible

"And we could frisk every newborn baby on the 1 in a BILLION to the power of a GOOGLEPLEX off-chance that one of those little farkers could have smuggled a shiv out of the vagina (fashioned from a long forgotten IUD)."

This is the result of political correctness and not racially profiling people. We can't racially target a group no matter how many times they pull shenanigans.

"Unfortunately in the US the TSA pockets the money from selling confiscated or abandoned stuff at security."

Is this supposed to mean the TSA employees are taking pocketknives to the local pawn shop? TSA collects the items and change and rolls the money back into their funding. If it didn't come from there, congress would carve that out of a school lunch program for blind kids.

"The TSA is never going to keep up. Its just a union of low paid largely unskilled and low IQ employees going through rote repetitions of federal guidelines."

Unskilled and low IQ, is that the new code for black people? There was a time when i might have shared this opinion out of ignorance. I just participated in the training of almost 200 TSA officers at Atlanta. The nation's busiest airport. As a whole, a pretty sharp group of people. I was surprised at how many had bachelors and associates degrees. I think the impression is that these people are hired at the same jobs fair that McDonalds uses. These are vetted employees of the government. Complete with extensive background checks and clearances. They take their jobs pretty seriously. Unfortunately retards get through any process and with TSA they get weeded out in a public manner.

TSA is a big dumb slow bureaucracy, but it is trying. if they didn't give a shiat about us we would still have naked body scanners in the airports. We also wouldn't have training rooms being run all day long so officers could learn how to appropriately treat people in wheelchairs.

Also, the checkpoint is the most visible face of TSA. The people who man it do so for 8 to 10 hours. That's 8 to 10 hours of enduring miserable assholes who just spent 15 minutes waiting in a line, while being under the pressure of being fired a thousand different ways. I'm surprised it does not get ugly on a daily basis. You get what you give. Be cheery on your next trip through and maybe you'll have a better experience. It's never going to be pleasant, but it can be not full of suck

Kahabut:That being said, in all seriousness, there have been no hijackings since the TSA started... which is at least suggestive that they are doing something right, but certainly not conclusive, or even correlated.

That's why the whole thing makes no sense. If you have your own plane, or charter a plane, you aren't even in the same part of the airport as those clowns.

If it's your plane, either owned or rented, you can bring a shotgunon board if you want.

Actually, while it's probably true you could, in real life, walking onto the flight line with anything that even looks like a gun is going to cause you some problems.

Of course, if you have your own plane, chances are you aren't at a big airport. Chances are you are a few miles away at a GA field where there is NO security beyond a fence, and the worst thing you have to worry about is the fuel truck operator being late.

At the airport where I am (Albany NY) , where I've taken flight lessons, you use the same field as the big airlines and shipping companies, but all the private and chartered planes are boarded from a separate TSA free building. You walk outside to your plane.It's a fairly large airport that hosts jumbo jets, and even Air Force One on occasion.

Kahabut:RobSeace: Kahabut: Joce678: Cewley: i'm thinking that if the tsa screenings are keeping people from doing bad shiat,

But they're not.

When was the last airliner hijacked? When did the TSA start?

You were saying?

This is the same exact logic that proves the effectiveness of the tiger-repelling rock... Namely, faulty logic...

/Or, was that the joke?

I'd say it was halfway between.

I'm making fun of the op's logic, by using something equally spurious.

That being said, in all seriousness, there have been no hijackings since the TSA started... which is at least suggestive that they are doing something right, but certainly not conclusive, or even correlated. In the real world, nothing is black and white. The TSA might be stopping hijackings just by existing, despite their apparent lack of skill, acumen, or intelligence. The fact is we don't actually know. So it could be either way. (and in either case, it's probably not worth it.)

The only single hijacking that originated in the United States for 2 decades prior to 9/11, was of a FedEx plane, by a disgruntled employee.

Someone needs to explain to this girl where the vagina is because it seems damn near impossible for that screener to actually stuck her thumb up there. If anything, she may have made contact with her vulva but even still it's clear to me this is an unintended consequence of the screening process.

That being said, while I think this whole ordeal was done in an effort to intentionally bait TSA agents (and there was no fault on the part of the agent themselves) I find this whole circus act to be completely ridiculous and I hope it comes to an end at some point. The fact that I need to be felt up and damn near molested to board a plane these days is offensive and its high time we reconsidered the policies that put this in place from the beginning. For the record though, the TSA agents themselves are not the problem, it's the people passing laws who tell them to do this that are the problem. Baiting a TSA employee to showcase your rights violations is akin to convincing a police officer to shoot you so you can debate gun laws.

Kahabut:That being said, in all seriousness, there have been no hijackings since the TSA started... which is at least suggestive that they are doing something right, but certainly not conclusive, or even correlated.

How often, exactly, do you think planes were hijacked from the US in the 10, 20, 30, whatever, years before the TSA was formed?

Satanic_Hamster:Kahabut: That being said, in all seriousness, there have been no hijackings since the TSA started... which is at least suggestive that they are doing something right, but certainly not conclusive, or even correlated.

How often, exactly, do you think planes were hijacked from the US in the 10, 20, 30, whatever, years before the TSA was formed?

Did you even read the rest of the sentence or do not understand those words?

Profedius:When I read stories like this I think back to the time I had to go through a Chinese security check. I was pulled to a side room with four airport security officers inside two female and two male. I was made to strip completely nude and one of the female officers preformed the inspection without any protective gloves. This female officer took hold of my penis like a person would if they intended to masturbate me and she lifted it up down and to both sides with her other hand doing the same to my testicles. Giving that I have an extreme libido, her face close enough to feel her breath and she wasn't quick about it I became erect which in no why deterred her actions. When she completed her inspection she stood up and then proceeded to ask me a lot of questions as I stood there nude with an erection. Eventually the two male officers left the room when something came in on one of their radios and I was left with the two female officers. The reason I was told that the two females were present is, because they spoke English and I will stop the story there.

Like HELL you will, you sonofabiatch! This is Fark, not your grandma's sewing circle!

Okay, you were nude, erect, and in a room with two extremely hot Chinese female security officers, one of whom had just released your penis.

That's why the whole thing makes no sense. If you have your own plane, or charter a plane, you aren't even in the same part of the airport as those clowns.

If it's your plane, either owned or rented, you can bring a shotgunon board if you want.

Yes; but fail to file a flight plan and, more and more, you run the risk of having the DHS meet you at the end of your flight with guns unholstered. This is no joke. This is no longer a free society - and that is the meat of this story.

Kahabut:In the world you live in, does something not happening yesterday make it impossible today?

So, again and again, how many sky jackings from US based flights do you think were happening? Enough that they can be commended from stopping the wave of them?

Ten years, I started masturbating four times a day, every day. Since then there hasn't been a single rape of a NFL football player on live television. Under that logic, my jerking off is just as effective at its job as the TSA.

Satanic_Hamster:Kahabut: In the world you live in, does something not happening yesterday make it impossible today?

So, again and again, how many sky jackings from US based flights do you think were happening? Enough that they can be commended from stopping the wave of them?

Ten years, I started masturbating four times a day, every day. Since then there hasn't been a single rape of a NFL football player on live television. Under that logic, my jerking off is just as effective at its job as the TSA.

You've just demonstrated that you don't know what logic is. You've previously demonstrated that you don't know what correlation or causation are.

In short, you aren't educated enough to have a meaningful conversation with. Your inability to understand the point, the logic, and it's relationship to the subject at hand is making this not only fruitless but pointless.

I sometimes wonder if I was the only male who paid attention during that portion of sex ed class, while the rest of the boys just sat there, slack-jawed, staring at the pictures with a vague buzzing ringing in their ears.

Yes, you are a special little snowflake.

Yes, I am. Sorry to hear that you don't know where the vagina is located. Maybe some day, you will have sexual intercourse, and you'll learn these things. It's all kinds of awesome, let me tell you. Having sex with actual other people is great; I wish you the best of luck! I hope that you get a chance to do it some day.

Kahabut:You've just demonstrated that you don't know what logic is. You've previously demonstrated that you don't know what correlation or causation are.

In short, you aren't educated enough to have a meaningful conversation with. Your inability to understand the point, the logic, and it's relationship to the subject at hand is making this not only fruitless but pointless.

And you're previously claimed that businesses should be able to refuse to serve to blacks.

I was just being sarcastic and poking fun at your moronic example and premise.

gibbon1:Maturin: I would suggest that we have two types of flights available; flights cleared by the TSA and, for the people to skittish to be patted down and terrorists, flights not cleared by the TSA.

Seriously though why not offer Americans an actual choice between flights with full screening and ones without any screening at all?

Barricaded Gunman:Profedius: When I read stories like this I think back to the time I had to go through a Chinese security check. I was pulled to a side room with four airport security officers inside two female and two male. I was made to strip completely nude and one of the female officers preformed the inspection without any protective gloves. This female officer took hold of my penis like a person would if they intended to masturbate me and she lifted it up down and to both sides with her other hand doing the same to my testicles. Giving that I have an extreme libido, her face close enough to feel her breath and she wasn't quick about it I became erect which in no why deterred her actions. When she completed her inspection she stood up and then proceeded to ask me a lot of questions as I stood there nude with an erection. Eventually the two male officers left the room when something came in on one of their radios and I was left with the two female officers. The reason I was told that the two females were present is, because they spoke English and I will stop the story there.

Like HELL you will, you sonofabiatch! This is Fark, not your grandma's sewing circle!

Okay, you were nude, erect, and in a room with two extremely hot Chinese female security officers, one of whom had just released your penis.

WHAT.... HAPPENED... NEXT?

You can find the entire story in Penthouse Forum, issue #2,344,556."I never though this would happen to me,,,

Satanic_Hamster:Kahabut: You've just demonstrated that you don't know what logic is. You've previously demonstrated that you don't know what correlation or causation are.

In short, you aren't educated enough to have a meaningful conversation with. Your inability to understand the point, the logic, and it's relationship to the subject at hand is making this not only fruitless but pointless.

And you're previously claimed that businesses should be able to refuse to serve to blacks.

I was just being sarcastic and poking fun at your moronic example and premise.

"I was just kidding" is the last resort of the weak minded. You can't even stick to your OWN point.

Kahabut:Satanic_Hamster: Kahabut: You've just demonstrated that you don't know what logic is. You've previously demonstrated that you don't know what correlation or causation are.

In short, you aren't educated enough to have a meaningful conversation with. Your inability to understand the point, the logic, and it's relationship to the subject at hand is making this not only fruitless but pointless.

And you're previously claimed that businesses should be able to refuse to serve to blacks.

I was just being sarcastic and poking fun at your moronic example and premise.

"I was just kidding" is the last resort of the weak minded. You can't even stick to your OWN point.