Life really does go backwards at 40

My teenage fashion faux pars

We thought we were the bee’s knee’s and to be completely honest I had some serious fashion faux pars!

In the early 80’s I was 14, weighed about 6st wet, size 2 and was straight up and down apart from the hair which was big and looked a bit like Leif Garratt, whatever happened to him….don’t ask!

Chatting with a friend recently I remembered my first pair of red stilettos, I saved up money to buy them from money I was given for babysitting. Oh my days I adored those shiny red patent 3 inch shoes however I couldn’t walk in them. Thinking back I staggered, although in my mind I was convinced my walk was up there with the top cat walk models.

The place to be as a 14 year old was Ulceby Disco, which happened to be the next village along from where we lived.

The Disco was held in the above village hall every Tuesday and the entrance fee was 20p. Everyone at school would spend the week discussing what we would wear, the red stilettos got an outing combined with my hair fluffed up to the biggest it could be, drain pipe jeans with white piping down the side, remember those? A black batwing jumper which had a repeat pattern of cerise roses and this was finally topped off with a red batwing leather jacket to match the shoes, you guessed it……fashion faux par!

The following week the red shoes got another outing to Ulceby Disco this time combined with a bright red rara skirt, a white blouse with lots of ruffles and yes the red leather jacket came out again. You guessed correct……another fashion faux par!

I then discovered monkey boots after spending hours looking in Chelsea Girl, remember that shop?

At the time I was really into Adam and the Ants, oh my goodness I don’t think swoon is the right word….

The rara skirl got another outing this time combined with a white t-shirt with the Ant logo on, black tights, monkey boots and not a sign of the red leather jacket no this time a Harrington jacket. Yep another fashion faux par!

However the back of my jacket had been personalised, I spent hours embroidering the Ant logo on the back of the jacket, I loved that jacket and unfortunately a few weeks later it was stolen from the Disco.

Later that year and as part of my French studies I was selected for our school exchange. My paired student Fabrice arrived with his French fashion, tight brightly colored clothes, lots of scarves and hair gel. Fabrice it would appear came from a very strict family, he wasn’t allowed much freedom and decided to make the most of his time away from home and flaunt every rule the school or his exchange students parents gave him.
So with Friday approaching and my Mother driven mad by me begging to let me go to the Disco, I remember suggesting to my Mother that Fabrice could stay with her, I would have sold my soul to be allowed to go to the Mecca that was Ulceby Disco, not much happens in villages….

Off we went, me this time in a Jumper dress, footless tights and the monkey boots, Fabrice in a velvet jacket, jeans and a multitude of scarves we both thought we looked fabulous.

Unfortunately Fabrice was sent back home to France the next day, bless him I am not sure how or who served him in the village pub but a 14 year old French exchange student who lost the ability to speak any English when drunk wasn’t a usual sight in the wilderness of Lincolnshire or Humberside, can’t remember when it changed from Lincs to Humbs back to Lincs…
Unfortunately due to Fabrice’s behavior I wasn’t allowed to go and stay with his family and experience the French fashion scene, I was banned from the Disco for 2 months as my Mother thought I should have looked after our guest and been a better ambassador!
As a sweetener I was given some money to shop and oh my days you’ve guessed it fashion faux pars at its best however I never felt the need to wear a shell suit, I was in fact banned from owning, borrowing or wearing one because my Mother considered them to be a fire hazard!

I now look at my teenage daughters and some of things they wear, I just sigh, I’ve been there, done that and just wish I had kept the t-shirt…..

That is such a cop out not using proper photos of you…. I so wanted to see you in all your finery. At least you weren’t a 70’s teenager like me …. maxi dresses, platforms and a dreadful ‘spider’ cut !!! Can see why your mum banned the shell suit, if anyone was going to spontaneously combust wearing one of those it would be you. Love ya xx

And the worse thing? They are wearing the same awful fashions – boiler suits, patent shoes, all-in-ones, ra ra skirts. It sounds as though you and I may well be of a similar age…I had to beg my dad to allow me for a ra ra skirt – he thought they were ‘fast’!