Not a great day in some ways. The slumping Alize Cornet knocked out top seed, defending champion and fantastic blogger Andrea Petkovic 62 75 in Bad Gastein. Then JJ rolled her ankle against Anastasia Yakimova and was forced to retire 1-0 down in the third set.

In Hamburg, Kolya was pretty much taken to the woodshed by Andrey Golubev, 64 64. The scoreline doesn’t look as terrible as it was, from what I saw.

Have a classically ridiKolyous photo to make up for it.

Kolya’s loss means that there are just three seeds left in Hamburg after last week’s things Almagro and Montanes also lost. Luckily for me, two of said three seeds are Boss and Nose Job …

Stick with me while I attempt to catch up on everything that I missed at Wimbledon while I was there. (And yes, I know I may be stretching the definition of ‘upset’ somewhat with some of these …) This is who we’ve lost so far that we wouldn’t have expected to …

Sam Stosur and Francesca Schiavone crashed out to Kaia Kanepi and Vera Dushevina respectively. That’s an entire French Open final gone right there. You’d almost think it was played on a different surface or something.

Verdasco lost to Fognini in five. And still needs a haircut.

Damn Croatians. You’re supposed to be the reliable one, Marin! Although why anyone thinks that, I don’t know. Anyway, I watched this match. It made me sad.

Oh, Boss.

Please don’t let that be your last Wimbledon, OK?

Grass is not Shahar’s best ever surface, it must be said. She lost to Angelique Kerber in three. Still, I’ve been vaguely touting Kerber as a thing-in-waiting, so there’s that.

Big win for bronzed god Daniel Brands, who took out Kolya in straights. Kolya is another one who doesn’t thrive on the grass at all, though. Plus that whole fractured wrist thing.

If a result doesn’t upset anyone, is it still an upset? I’ve decided that this qualifies on the basis that Robin Haase did the upsetting, which means he actually won a match. Shock face.

Not sure what’s the bigger not-really-a surprise, Mel losing in the second round or the fact that she made it.

(If you didn’t know ‘Nikolay Davydenko’ is an anagram for ‘Avoid Lanky Donkey’, well, now you do.)

Sad news for the Kolyanation: Nikolay Davydenko was forced to withdraw from his third round match with Viktor Troicki because of a broken left wrist. Kolya has been suffering since he fell on his wrist during Rotterdam, but the injury was apparently misdiagnosed and he tried to play on until pain and swelling forced him to hand the walkover to Troicki. An MRI scan then revealed a fracture that had been missed.

Kolya will apparently be in a splint for four weeks and who knows how much time he’ll miss. Which really, really sucks. Get well soon, Donkey; we miss you when you’re gone …

First up: further to my previous post about this tie, the Israeli team are due to arrive in Coquimbo on Wednesday. They’ve been stuck in Buenos Aires up till now which only gives them two days to train – and consequently allows them to ask for the tie to be postponed, as they are theoretically guaranteed four days. I’m not clear whether the ITF are obliged to grant the request, and in any case the tie would only be postponed until Saturday or Sunday. Still, that could be an important day or two.

Secondly, further to the tweeting of a couple of the Indian players, Nikolay Davydenko is in serious doubt for the Russia-India tie due to a wrist injury sustained in Rotterdam (either I already blogged this or I’m having major deja vu). According to Tarpischev, “his chances are very, very small“. If Kolya can’t play, he’ll be replaced by Igor Andreev.

Thirdly, the U.S. team have arrived in Serbia.

Welcome to Belgrade, boys.

Go with me here: Patrick McEnroe = Joss Whedon.

Are you coming with me?

Anyway, let’s be honest. This whole post was basically an excuse for me to indulge in one of my favourite things: photos of Novak Djokovic wearing his glasses.

More pain for the top seeds in Dubai today. Literally, after Kolya was forced to retire with a wrist injury, trailing indistinguishable German Michael Berrer 6-3.

And Jo-Wilfried Tsonga lost to Ivan Ljubicic in straight sets in a match that I’m bloody glad I didn’t watch.

Not all bad news, though. Marin may look like he was constructed out of pipecleaners and wet spaghetti with no particular care taken during the process (and I love it, before the hatemail starts), but he’s holding up surprisingly well despite it, managing to beat Stefan Koubeck in straights; Baggy took care of Somdev Devvarman, and Nole meandered to a victory over compatriot Troicki, 62 in the third.

Semi-finals are set in Rotterdam and it’s a very decent lineup. Nole has somehow sneaked his way in there despite only playing one match after getting a walkover from Florian Mayer. He’ll face Mikhail Youzhny, who won a highly entertaining against Gael Monfils. The commentators were intent on casting it as Russian meticulousness and tenacity against French flair, which does something of a disservice to both their games, but in the end Youzhny was that little bit more focussed in the end.

In the other half of the draw, Nikolay Davydenko and Robin Soderling both progressed in straight sets. Kolya calmly saw off Jurgen Melzer, 63 62.

Talk to the hand.

I would like to pinch your cheeks, Kolya. Take that as you will.

Robin Soderling, however, put in the most dominant performance of the day, utterly dismissing Julien Benneteau 60 61.

In conclusion: Victoria Azarenka really impressed me in toughing out a three-set win (including a bagel) over Vera Zvonareva; Jo lost his five-set virginity and didn’t seem to mind too much; Serena was on terrifying form; and Kolya goes into his showdown with Federer with his aura of invincibility more than a little battered.