(Cafeteria.)Hi, Paul. Hi, Kevin.Oh. Hi, Becky.Hi, Becky.You want to hear something?I don't care.(To Paul): I know someone who likes you.Big deal. Well, who is it?Well, I can't tell you her name. But her initials are C.H."C.H." - "C.H."- "C.H."?(Paul "thinks".)Big mystery here. Carla Healy - she was the only female in Paul's life who wasn't a blood relative."C.H."?If you're interested, she'll be at the skating rink tonight. (Smiles.)Thanks, I'll keep it in mind. (Frowns.)See you guys later. (Exits.)

*

(At the skating rink, Kevin feigns an injury. Winnie has skated up to him. Kevin thinks she is going to ask him to skate with her.)D-do you want to...(long pause)...do you want to...skate...(another long pause)...with Becky Slater?What?!This is so embarrassing. Becky Slater, she kind of asked me if I'd ask you.(Kirk skates by and grabs Winnie by the arm, taking her away.)Kirk! (Laughs.) Wait, I'm gonna fall!It's hard to describe what I was feeling at that moment in time. Humiliation? Sorrow? Or was it more...intense hostility!?(Kevin heads out on to the ice and approaches Becky.)Becky Slater?! Weeks of waiting in the wings, and all I get is Becky Slater?! I'll give you...Becky Slater!Yes?You wanna go steady?Sure!Let's skate!My first steady girlfriend.

*

(Cafeteria. Kevin and Winnie sit side-by-side.)Well, I suppose you could say that going steady with Becky Slater had gotten me closer to Winnie Cooper.(The camera pulls back to include Kirk and Becky.)Although not quite the way I'd pictured it.(To Winnie, through Kevin): Did you hear about Susan and John Rodgers?What about them?Supposedly, Susan thought she saw John and Gina together, you know, like together. But they weren't together together, they were just studying together. But Susan might break up anyway.No way!I don't know - that's what I heard.I - I can't believe it!She's been giving him the silent treatment, so he's been spending a lot of time with Jessica, you know, like talking and stuff, but I mean...Sitting there wedged between my dream girl and my significant other, one thought kept rolling back and forth through my mind - "Dear God, what have I done?"(Kevin looks toward heaven. More chat and laughter. Kevin laughs, pretending to enjoy the conversation.)I didn't know this girl. I didn't want to know this girl.Hey, Kev-Bo, check it out.(Kirk opens his lips to reveal the skin of an orange wedge covering his teeth. He grunts like an ape. Kevin laughs half-heartedly.)Anyway, I couldn't believe it.

*

(Dinner table.)Whatever happened to Winnie Cooper? I thought you were - Look, I said it was no big deal! She's just a stupid girl that I met at the skating rink. And I didn't even know her. OK? She's just one of Winnie Cooper's stupid little friends, and I'm gonna break up with her as soon as I get the chance. OK?! Are you all satisfied now?

*

(Becky tosses a note on Kevin's desk: "Kevin + Becky" in a heart.)Well, it seemed simple enough in theory.

*

(Kevin hands books to Becky, to put in her locker. Becky is talking nonstop. She spots someone, waves, and drags Kevin off.)I'd just kill off the relationship before it got out of hand.

*

(School steps. Becky talks nonstop to friends, and puts her arm around Kevin.)And yet I couldn't seem to find the appropriate time. It was always one thing or another.

*

(Kevin and Becky are at a skating rink table. Becky blows the sleeve off a straw.)Before I knew it, Becky and I had been going steady for a whole week. That's nearly six months in adult years.What'll it be, kids?I'll have a Coke and some fries.I'll just have some of his.Woof! This chick was gettin' in deep. First she splits your fries. Next thing you know, she'll be moving her textbooks into your locker.(Kevin looks uncomfortable as Becky looks him over.)Kevin? Is something wrong?What do you mean?I don't know. It's like we don't talk anymore."Anymore"? This was the first conversation we'd ever had.Are you mad at me or something?No. Not really. I don't know.Don't be a coward. Break it off clean. One shot behind the ear. She won't feel a thing.(Becky snuggles closer.)I'm really glad we're going steady.Look, Becky, we have to talk.(At exactly the same time, not hearing Kevin): Winnie! Over here!Hi, you guys. Have you seen Kirk around? I was supposed to meet him here.I don't think he's here. Why don't you sit with us?I don't know.(She looks at Kevin.)Hey, hey. What's this? The physical contact too much to take?I don't think I should. But if you guys see Kirk, will you tell him that I'm looking for him?No sweat, right Becky?Sure.Sure you don't want some fries?No, thanks. I'm not hungry.Well, take this.(Kevin feeds a fry to Becky.)And this.(Kevin blows a sleeve off straw. Kevin and Becky laugh.)You guys make a really cute couple.Boy, was she steamed. It's not the same without little Kevin Arnold to kick around anymore, is it?(Kevin watches Winnie as she walks away. Becky snaps her fingers in front of Kevin's face.)Anybody home?What?I asked if you like ketchup on your fries.Sure, whatever you like.(Becky noisily squirts ketchup.)You're so weird sometimes.

*

(Kevin sees Kirk and Winnie kiss in the hallway.)And so it finally happened. My poor twelve-year-old heart finally crumbled into a little pile of dust, and blew away. It was over. I was never gonna to get her back. It was time for a little self-respect. It was time to let go. Time to move on. After all, who needed women? Who needed friends? I'd just walk alone from now on. Yep, that was me, Kevin Arnold - lone wolf.(Kevin looks up and howls to the sound of a wolf. Cut to the bus area. Kevin see Becky.)There was just one loose end I had to tie up. For your information, I don't like Winnie Cooper.Tell me about it.Alright, I used to like her. But I don't anymore.Yeah, sure.I don't!Do you like me?I don't even really know you.Well, I don't know you, and I like you!It's just this whole stupid going steady thing. I didn't even want to go steady.Well then, why did you ask me in the first place?I don't know, it -(The bus pulls away.)Wait!! Great, there goes my bus.Standing there alone with Becky, I felt a warmth - an attraction, a tenderness - for another girl for the first time since I lost Winnie Cooper.You're such a jerk. Thanks for nothing!(Becky starts to walk away.)Wait.(Becky keeps walking. Kevin follows.)How are you gonna get home?How do you think?Well, do you want me to walk with you? It - it's on the way and stuff.Don't do me any favors!No!(Kevin holds Becky's arm and stops her.)I want to.

A valentine?Yeah...except, it's not...(Becky opens her locker, and smiles slightly as she puts her books in it.)Oh, look!Becky - you have to gimme that.I don't have to give you anything. (Smiles.)(Becky closes her locker then walks up the hallway. Kevin shakes his head, then follows her.)Oh, Becky - come on! (Gestures.)Bye, Kevin!

*

(Cafeteria.)It wasn't fair - Paul was getting chocolates, while all I was getting was -Kevin, may I sit down?Becky Slater, out for blood.Sure.Sure, what was it gonna be - blackmail, extortion? The way she was holding that note, you could tell she had one thing on her mind.Kevin, I forgive you.(With narrator) What?!I didn't know you had been carrying the secret around for so long! (Smiles.)(With narrator) Huh?!To think...(sighs)...all this time you've been suffering! (Smiles.)Becky, we have to talk. (Frowns.)I know...(Smiles.)You haven't told anyone about this, have you?Oh please, oh please, oh please!Of course not.Good. Now listen -(Becky kisses him.)I wanted you to be the first to know! (Smiles.)(Kevin looks around the cafeteria as kids start to whisper. He sees Winnie chatting with friends.)The first maybe, but not the last.(Kevin stands up.)Where are you going?(Kevin hurries off.)Kevin?First things first. Right now I had to beat the rumor-ripple to Winnie Cooper before she got the wrong idea.(Kevins trips over Curtis and falls.)Ugh...(A girl approaches.)Kevin? Winnie has a message for you.She does?I hope you and Becky will be very happy together.(Cut to outside on a bench. Kevin is frowning.)Let's see now - where were we? Kevin?Oh yeah - love.Hi. (Smiles.)Yep. My valentine had had exactly the right effect - on exactly the wrong person.I think it's so romantic we got back together on Valentine's Day. Don't you?Well...I mean who would have guessed in a million years that it would happen today? Would you?No!Susan Beecham's having a party tonight. (Smiles.) It's couples only. I thought you could pick me up around eight...Becky, stop! (Frowns.)Oh, yes! (Smiles.)I had to put an end to this. In no uncertain terms.I...I...(flashback to "friends?")...can't make it...to the party.Why not?Well, my family...always has this...big, huge!...Valentine's Day...dinner.A Valentine's dinner? (Frowns.)Oh, yeah - it's kind of a tradition in my house. You know, relatives come, mom cooks. Stuff like that. (Nods.)Yeah. We all stand around the piano...singing Valentine's Day carols...Well...(sighs)...OK. If you have to be there.Oh, I do. (nods.)Who needs a stupid party, anyway? (Frowns.)Huh? (Frowns.)I'd be happy to come! (Smiles.) Seeya tonight! (Winks.)And suddenly, I'd gone from "head-over-heels" to "in-over-my-head".(Library.)Winnie? We have to talk.I told you - there's nothing to -Just listen to me, OK? ...Look -Kevin? (smiles) What time should I be there, tonight?Oohhhhhhh!I'll leave you two alone.Winnie!Kevin? What was that all about?I have to talk to Winnie!Kevin? I don't understand.Becky, that valentine wasn't for you!Oh...Look, I'm sorry, but -(Becky looks at Kevin cooly.)Here...(She hands the valentine to Kevin.)I can be graceful about this. (Exits.)

*

(Outside school with Hobson.)Man, what are you so miserable about? (Frowns.)Hobson, she walked out of my life! (Frowns.)Like I said - what are you so miserable about? Hey, think of it this way - now you can hang out with me!I don't think so. I...kinda want to be by myself.Man, your hopeless. (Exits.)And there you had it. Nothing left to do but wander home and help mom baste the old Valentine goose. After all, my story was told - it was all over.(Shot of a bicycle pulling out, and sound of a bicycle bell.)Well, almost over.(Becky rides on a collision course toward Kevin.)This is what she meant by "taking it gracefully"?(Kevin dives out of the way. Becky swerves and crashes into Hobson.)I guess it was sort of a low moment - for me at least. For Craig and Becky, however, it was a match made in heaven.You OK?I could use some help getting up.In a way, it was a perfect ending to a perfect Valentine's Day.