LeBron James Will Stay With Heat, Say Handful of Random NBA Players

No one knows if LeBron James is staying with the Miami Heat or if he's bolting via free agency next summer.

But that didn't stop ESPN the Magazine from going ahead and asking random current NBA players in an arbitrary poll anyway.

And according to 71 percent of these players, LeBron is going to stay with the Heat.

We're going to take a wild stab here and say they were 100 percent guessing.

The 26 NBA players polled remained anonymous. And they said things about LeBron. And ESPN printed those things.

For instance!:

Perennial All-Star on LeBron's 2014 decision

"Honestly, I think he's going back to the Cavs. They're kind of like Miami was for LeBron in 2010; the Cavs have the talent to be really good for the next six or seven years. It makes sense that he'd want to return and win a title."

and,

Western Conference forward on LeBron's leaving Cleveland

"I get it that fans were heartbroken and he was a hometown kid and all that. But who else in this world isn't going to take a job in the best possible environment for you to be successful?"

And, of course, the inevitable:

Eastern Conference guard on LeBron, MJ or Kobe taking the shot

"That's like ranking the shortest giant. I'd want the ball in LeBron's hands at the end of the game, but I'd want him to pass to Kobe or Jordan for the last shot. And don't forget, LeBron is not a great free throw shooter either."

All in all, we learned nothing new about LeBron. Although we learned stuff about these anonymous players. Namely, that they're just like everybody else when it comes to comparing him to Michael Jordan.

We also learned that 23 percent of them think LeBron will be considered the greatest player of all time when it's all said and done and that 15 percent of them would take a pay cut for the opportunity to play alongside him.

Actually, that tells us more about Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh in relation to these players.

But mostly, it tells us nothing new.

Also, 26 players isn't exactly the pulse of the NBA.

So, to recap: ZOMGERRR What Is LeBron Going to Do in the Summer of 2014??? has OFFICIALLY become the most annoying narrative of the season.

And it's only the second week of preseason.

Can't wait for the other 800 billion articles tackling this very subject that will surely take the internet by storm!