Living Better While Spending Less – Secrets of America's Upper Class

I Sleep Just Fine at Night – Here’s Why

Every day there’s a panic-stricken headline splashing across the print and digital headlines. Russia’s on the brink of economic collapse. Japan is not far behind, so they say. Blogs breathlessly recant the previous night’s exploits of celebrities and wannabe’s. Some person or some event has “stirred controversy”, whatever that means, and it must be reported. Not only must it be reported, the self-appointed cultural and political pundits must respond to it with righteous indignation, like roosters who think the sun comes up because they crow.

At the end of each day, though, I roll into bed and fall soundly asleep. I am not oblivious to it all. I am not callous to the tragedies and crises that happen–and may happen–in the world. If the world goes to hell in a hand basket tomorrow, I won’t be safely ensconced in a “Atlas Shrugged” style gated community, removed from it all. In all likelihood, I’ll be in Los Angeles or Boston, right in the middle of the madness, like many people.

But still, I don’t worry. I sleep soundly at night. And I’ll tell you why.

Because we live in the Age of Talk. People think, largely due to the influence of the internet, that to hold an opinion, no matter now uninformed or inarticulate, is to have taken action. It is not.There is an old Chinese proverb that says, Between what is said and done, there is an ocean. Believe it. Websites have to constantly post new content. Much of it is a waste of time to read, much less consider or accept as actionable fact. Refine your search. Narrow your results. Worthwhile news and credible information are rare in this era. Journalistic standards have plummeted. Be aware of that.

Personally, I limit my Daily Internet Exposure (DIE, if you will). I keep myself informed, but with select, credible sources. I cut out the noise and avoid the trash. This habit moderates worry about things I can’t control. It also frees up time for me to take action and accomplish some of my goals for the day/week/month/year/life. I’m happy, focused, informed, and productive. Most of the time. (Hey, I’m honest.)

The second thing I endeavor to do is to live on principle, not on circumstances. By that I mean that I work to make most of my choices based on a set of principles that I’ve inherited, adopted, and refined over the years, rather than to act “depending on the circumstances” as people say. I’ve articulated many of these principles in The Old Money Book.

Having a code that you live by is much less of a headache than facing a moral dilemma every time a temptation pops up. We’ve all heard the term “slippery slope”. It’s a place you can find yourself if you don’t plant your feet on solid ground.

Finally, I balance my definition of success between commitments and accomplishments. This means that I work to honor my commitments as well as accomplish my goals. The sum of those two determines the level of my success to me. I repeat, to me, and no one else. Why this 50/50 split? Because I can, most of the time, control honoring my commitments to the people I care about. I can’t always control the elements that contribute to accomplishing my goals. (Other writers, can I get an Amen?)

Furthermore, my success is not a comparative or competitive situation. It is an individual situation. It’s what I know I do, or do not do, on a weekly basis usually, to accomplish my goals. If I’m successful, I know it. I don’t look to see if I’m more successful than someone else because I realistically can’t ever really know that. Another person may have other, private failures that cast a large shadow over their visible “success”.

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4 thoughts on “I Sleep Just Fine at Night – Here’s Why”

Fantastic post, Byron. I wholeheartedly agree. It’s also my experience that when I focus on my personal definition of success, not someone else’s, I’m happiest. And, greater success is a natural byproduct of that choice. How wonderful that peace and fulfillment is the result of such simplicity.

I had a friend who once told me that success is not the moment where one is standing on top of the mountain or has received the gold medal but every moment that they chose to move forward on the path that led there. Conversely failure is not the moment that one is caught in a scandal or has proven themself to be less than what is required for a task but all of the choices that led down that path.

I quite like that knowing one’s principles and values allows one to remain steady despite changing situations. It eliminates anguished decision-making every time a choice comes up. It allows your actions and behaviors to simply fall into place.