Let the Words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your site, O Lord.

Monthly Archives: May 2014

Ever have days, when life is beyond overwhelming? When there’s too many tasks & people needing you “right now” and the most important things in your life seem to be suffocating beneath the towel you’re contemplating throwing in!?

Parenting is HARD; step-parenting is harder, and sometimes I honestly feel like throwing in the towel & running for cover!

To read the rest of this post, please join me over at 5 Minutes for Faith where I am honored to be a contributing writer.

As I walk this journey of rest (obedience), I find myself, for the first time, learning to ask for help. I say learning, because I’ve always been one to set a goal, work at it and accomplish it, alone. My career is one where I am the sole admin in an office of engineers, machinists & assembly workers who rely on me for everything. I do it all & love doing it all. Yet in this season of rest, God is teaching me to ask and wait for help.

I think of the story of Sarai & Abram in Genesis 16. God had promised Sarai & Abram that they would have a child. They were getting old, so Sarai got impatient & insisted her maiden, Hagar sleep with Abram, in order to fulfill God’s promise.

{PRIDE} makes us question & doubt God’s promises.

{PRIDE} drives our minds to conger up ideas of how to make God’s promises come into play.

{PRIDE} turns God’s promises into curses (let me explain)

When Sarai doubted God’s promise & came up with an idea of how to make it happen, she turned the beautiful promise from God into a curse from God.

In Genesis 16:11-12, we read what the angel of the Lord spoke to Hagar, who was pregnant with Abram’s child & who as a result, Sarai now hated & sent away:

Instead of the beautiful promise to have a child (Isaac), God put a curse on Abram & Hagar’s son, Ishmael; with whom the Muslim Religion was birthed & continues to be at war against God’s people.

Instead of waiting for help, trusting God’s promise & relying on Him to make it happen, Abram became the “father of many nations”, to which are forever at war (the curse).

How many times does God cry over us, when we impatiently make decisions that thwart his plans?

Waiting for help may not be easy, in our day to day lives, but if we don’t make a conscious decision to do so, we risk habitually reacting to the call of God in the same way, & potentially thwarting His plans for us.

This season of rest God has called me to is one requiring me to ask & wait for help. Spiritual help came through my friend Bonnie Gray.

As many of you know, I am the proud Step Mama to an amazing six year old little boy.

What you may not know, is the difficulties I face as a Step Mama. The challenges, the frustration and the pain associated with this role are ones I don’t often discuss, because when taken out of context, or misunderstood, my words can seem as if I’m miserable, unhappy or as if I don’t want to be where I am and that simply is not the case.

For the past six years, I have quietly searched for a Christian Step Mama’s support group. A place where I can share my heart, receive encouragement, be understood & validated. After searching with no avail, when (in)courage invited me to become a small group leader this Spring, the Holy Spirit reminded me of my own search & prompted me to apply to lead a Step Mama’s group.

I was surprised and excited when I received an email thanking me for my interest in leading a group & giving me the contact information for my new co-leader, Diane. I immediately emailed her! We each shared our story and wept as we read each others words. Oh the joy that comes from being validated, understood, and knowing I am not alone!

This opportunity reminds me of the Biblical story of Goliath, a mighty giant, who everyone feared. Then there was David, a mere shepherd boy. He was small & didn’t appear to have what was necessary to fight the taunting giant. However, God chose David to slay Goliath! King Saul tried to prepare David, by giving him his own armor for protection.

“I cannot walk with these, for I have not tested them.” So David took them off.1 Samuel 17:39

David, with Godly wisdom knew his only chance of beating Goliath was to fight the way he knew best.

“You come to me with a sword, with a spear, and with a javelin.But I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied.
…the Lord does not save with sword and spear;for the battle is the Lord’s, and He will give you into our hands.”1 Samuel 17:45-47

David exemplified what happens when we prepare ourselves with the Armor of God, rather than relying on our own strength, or the strength of men.

I am humbled & excited for the opportunity God has provided, for me to co-lead a group of Step Mama’s through this difficult, God-ordained season of life. I may not feel qualified to be a Step Mama or leader, but I serve a God who has armed me with His Strength & Wisdom. He’s given me a heart that longs to create a safe haven for Step Mama’s. A place where we can go when we are hurting & looking to be heard, understood, encouraged & receive prayer. A place to be reminded that just as God has called us to this roll, He will equip us with all we need for the journey! We truly are here, “For Such a Time As This.” Esther 4:14

If you, or someone you know, is looking for Godly support, feel free to sign up or pass the information along by clicking here: Step Mama’s. If you’re not a Step Mama, but are looking to find a small group, with over 70 different groups to choose from, the (in)courage community is the place for you!! Registration opens today, Monday 5/19/2014 & closes Thursday 5/22/2014.

Lately, it feels as if I’m wandering in the desert like the Israelites did: discontent & questioning God’s plans for their (my) dreams.

As I pour my heart out to Him, seeking His direction & peace in the midst of my discontentment & misery, I hear Him whisper to my heart:

“This is your desert. I am leading you to the Promised Land.”

Six months ago, I took a leap of faith & started walking the dream God placed on my heart: writing. During this time, I have watched Him open doors for me in ways I could never imagine. Yet my heart is restless for more. My heart longs to lay aside my current career, to solely focus on the business my husband & I run together, to do more writing & to have a baby.

I’m tired. I’m weary. My heart isn’t in this place any longer & I’m ready for my dreams to unfold into what I call, “The Promised Land”

So I ask God, “Why the desert? Why the hot, dry, miserable heat of the desert? Why not the Promised Land… now?”

Philippians 4:11 comes to mind: “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.“

Ahh there’s that word, “content”

See, the problem with the Israelites & their time in the desert was ATTITUDE.

God had delivered them from Egypt & the rule of Pharaoh & set them on a journey to the Promised Land. Their attitudes created the 40-year wait they had in the desert; not God. They grumbled. They were impatient. They were angry. They missed the familiarity of their past & as a result of their attitudes, they made decisions that affected their journey. Their attitudes extended their time in the desert & for many, it meant they never got to see the Promised Land with their own eyes. They gave up and gave in to the sins & attitudes of the world & it stole their Promised Land experience.

I don’t want that! I don’t want to be so consumed with complaining & grumbling my way to the Promised Land, that I forfeit my own entrance into the dreams God has for me.

I want to enjoy my journey to the Promised Land, not just get there. It’s not the dream that God wants me to focus on, it’s the journey with Him that matters most.

Luke 16:10 says, “If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones.”

If God has planted a dream in my heart, then before I can achieve that dream I must prove to be faithful with the journey I’m on right here & now.

If I can’t be trusted with the mundane things in my life today, how I can be trusted with the beauty of a dream tomorrow?

Jesus, help me as I walk this desert valley,
to keep my eyes on You & the dreams you’ve planted in my heart.
Help me to be ever mindful of the blessings
you have poured into my life & to never take them for granted.
Forgive me for my grumbling, disbelief, lack of trust & impatience.
Thank you for faithfully reminding me
that you are orchestrating the tapestry of my life perfectly:
You’re moving mountains & changing hearts, but mostly changing my own heart.
Draw me closer to you & birth in me a deep contentment for you alone,
So our journey together will be seasoned with joy & not grumbling.
~Amen~

I am so grateful for the opportunity to be part of three amazing writing communities.
Won’t you join me over at the blogs of three of my sweat friends?

I would like to give a second tribute to my beautiful Mom & Best Friend this Mother’s Day. You may read my first tribute here.

As a girl, I remember hearing the deep admiration in my mother’s voice as she shared childhood memories of her grandmother.

My great-grandmother was extraordinary! She was monetarily poor, but she was rich! She had Jesus & a love so deep nothing else mattered.

Having lost her husband to an unexpected death, betrayed & shunned by his family, then left to raise her small children alone, she still showed her faith in God!

The most beautiful thing about this story, is that my great-grandmother was instrumental in raising the beautiful woman I am honored to call my mother.

The sole survivor of a twin pregnancy, my mother started her life alone, yet strong.

Losing her father to death at a young age thrust her into a childhood of heartbreak.

Loved by a mother who was unable to take care of her, she was graciously raised by her maternal grandmother.

From her grandmother she learned of God, through the life-example set before her:

The deep love.

The sacrifices made.

The working hands, eager to help.

The kind eyes & listening ears.

The heart of gold.

The hymns sung, while comforting arms enveloped her little body as she sat on her grandmother’s lap.

Jesus.He was a living part of her grandmother’s life & thus became the same for her.

My mom learned from her grandmother how to make the best of every situation & how to turn to Jesus for everything.

She didn’t have an acclaimed “glamorous” career; she gave it up to raise me. Yet in my eyes, she had the best job in the world & did it with absolute excellence.

She took on the role of motherhood so naturally! For someone who wasn’t raised by her mother, it’s a true testimony of what God can do with a yielded heart. When I think of motherhood, I first think of my mom & what an incredible mother she’s always been!

This Mother’s Day, I want to honor the woman she has allowed God to make her into: A true woman of God.

When I read Proverbs 31, my mom is the one woman in my life who I can say, truly lives this passage, through the strength of the Holy Spirit.

Like this:

In a few previous posts I mentioned that God was calling me into a season of rest, to which I’ve been reluctantly following.

Don’t get me wrong, my life has been chaotic & busier than ever, yet in the midst of the chaos, I have found deep joy & contentment.

You see, when God called me into this season, I didn’t fully understand what it meant, or even what rest looked like. To me, it sounded like a sunny day, sitting on the beach with the ocean breeze in my hair, a good book in hand, and my hubby beside me.

Ah well, God had another sort of rest in mind for me. {smile}

I entered this season of rest, by cutting back on the one thing in my life that I enjoy the most: writing. It hurt to let go, but I laid it down because God asked me to. Honestly, I did it with some attitude, but He didn’t seem to mind one bit. {smile}

Other than cutting back on my writing, my life actually picked up speed, which made me more frustrated and left me questioning, “Rest? Seriously? You call this rest, God?”

When The Call to Rest Brings Blessings

Within the past month, I have watched the hand of God utterly down-pour blessings I could never have imagined. My reluctant obedience to rest, has yielded blessings so big, my heart is still bursting with joy & gratitude!

God opened the door for us to buy our first home at a time in our lives when we weren’t looking, because we didn’t believe we were ready! He provided in ways we still don’t understand! The home-buying experience was seamless from start to finish, just as He whispered to my heart that it would be.

God filled the longing of my heart to be a part of a community of Christian Step Mama’s, by opening the doors for me to co-lead an (in)courage small group that starts this Spring! I’m looking forward to getting to know each of the ladies who join the group & trusting that He will provide encouragement through me as well as for me!

God has blessed me with incredible friendships as a result of my writing. Friends I didn’t think I needed or even wanted, yet who have embraced me, encouraged me, prayed for me, love me for me & have become like family.

You see, I had to be willing to let go. To obey. By placing my obedient, emptied hands before God, He could fill them with blessings they could not contain. I emptied myself before God, trusted Him with my heart & He blessed beyond measure!

The one thing I have learned in this season of rest, is this:

Rest Is Simply Obedience

Each season of rest God calls us to will look different, as our lives turn here & there. The key is not to know what rest looks like, but to embrace that it is pure obedience to His voice; laying aside whatever it is He’s asking of us, in the current season.

So rest assured my friend; whatever season God calls you to, it will be the best season of your life, for it is a season of obedience!

I am so grateful for the opportunity to be part of three amazing writing communities.
Won’t you join me over at the blogs of three of my sweat friends?

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About Satin

The Purpose

The goal with My Heart, His Words is to encourage and challenge others in their walk with God, bringing the Scriptures alive through life-application.
You'll typically receive a post once a week, but I am open to the leading of the Holy Spirit, so occasionally post more.
Welcome to my journey and thank you for including me in yours!