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Friday, July 8, 2016

"Bye-bye," she whispered in the sweetest voice as she stretched out her little arm and clasped and unclasped her hand towards Mr. Maisy, the same way we had been showing her for months.

Funny how her goodbye sounded more like a hello to a whole new chapter.

But this wasn't her first word. I'm counting it as her second. Her first word will go down in the baby book as Mama. Actually, it's more like Mamamamama. But still. Close enough. It happened on Father's Day. As Wade kept telling her to say Dada, she started (and kept saying) Mamamamamama. Sweetest words to this tired mama's ears.

And now she's scurrying after us as we walk around the house, pulling herself up on my leg, and clapping at herself after she mimics the gestures to "Itsy Bitsy Spider" while I sing. She's my little shadow....who has quite a mind of her own.

How did we get here? She's 10 months old today? I've only posted her 1-6 month photos, so surely we can't have jumped ahead in time this far.

But alas. Here we are. Halfway through the summer and more than halfway through this little one's first year.

Tonight I'll take her 9 month photos, because I've gotten into a bad habit where I take her monthly photos on the last day of her technically being in that month. And I just realized I already missed it by a day. Close enough. I'm going to have to up my timing, though, and take the 10 month ones in a few weeks. That will get me back on track.

Now there's a first birthday to think about and also push out of my mind. It's too soon. I have so much more to document. It makes me wish I would have kept the momentum up in this space, to have written down more in the moment, but then I was either busy enjoying the moment...or sleeping.

We've taken Everly on three road trips so far: to Chicago to surprise my sister for her birthday (the big 4-0), to Iowa for a reunion with my family (man, it was so wonderful to see everyone in one place), and back again to Iowa to see Wade's family (in our new van--the most comfortable ride there is). Each trip we think she'll like the car more, but each time she proves that she hates being confined for more than 15 minutes.

I think about this space often. I think about how hard I worked to cultivate it into something I felt proud of. At times I feel ok letting it go, but there are other times when the thought of not having this outlet feels like a failure. Like I'd be letting go of a piece of my pre-mother self that I'm not ready to do. Not that the two are mutually exclusive, but sometimes it feels that way.

I have a few drafts of posts with pictures from moments that have gone by. I overthink what I should say. If it's thoughtful enough, funny enough, worthwhile enough.