Luxuria: sex in, on, and of the mind: all articles

The notion of "Sex Positivity" is one that we are all familiar with: it encourages an accepting, celebratory attitude toward sex and sexuality. There are times, however, when sex positive spaces can turn sour for their participants. Some feel pressured, while others feel ignored, and with these mounting concerns going largely unaddressed, there is a real need to band together, combat this "elephant in the room" and keep our spaces and ideals safe and welcoming for all.

Every time I'm on cam, there are people who make me want to tear my hair out. There are also people who I would so love to high-five, as well. Want to have your cam girl love you? Here is a list of what to do, and, of course, what not to do!

Being shy in the bedroom can sometimes feel like you're just plain boring; even if you have an amazing imagination, you are too reserved to share. Here are some tips on how to spice things up, and how not to feel like you're putting yourself out there to get embarrassed and let down.

It often has been the case that my non-vanilla-ness has lead to people looking at me in another light, and not in a good way. I thought this would be the case every time I brought it up in conversation, and had almost resigned myself to be considered a pervert every time. As luck would have it, though, things changed quite dramatically a few weeks back, when an unexpected conversation lead to my sex toys taking an unexpected trip to my workplace.

If you're kinky, you may have heard of sub-space, or a sort of euphoric state that subs occasionally cross into during a scene. When I first found my kinky side, I thought just being part of a scene was causing me to dip into sub-space, but then I actually fell flat into it, and it was amazing.

When most people think of the term "Solo Sexuality", it probably has a negative connotation to them. I, on the other hand, have always found it fun, interesting, and often an exciting alternative to engaging in sex with someone else. Masturbation has always been one of my favorite pastimes.

Many guys think that strip clubs are just for men, and that is very untrue. There are strip clubs for women, as well, and here is the interesting part: some women enjoy going to a strip club with their partners and buying them a dance.

There is so much porn, both on and off the internet. Why would anyone choose to look at drawings over real people? With a guilt free conscience, knowing that there are no reluctantly recruited actors, and no awkward feelings about watching strangers get down and dirty, many people choose hentai as an alternative. Plus, kinks and fetishes have no restrictions in hentai!

Since the 1970s, the connection between thought and orgasms has been a hot topic (Masters & Johnson)...Mental orgasms, Energy Orgasms, Thinking Off, Thought-gasms, Thought-induced orgasms. I am sure many of you have seen the show “Strange Sex” on TLC, specifically the episode about Thinking Off, but has anyone really thought about it? In this article I highlight my own experiences with thought-gasms, that they are in fact real, and what exactly you might want to know about them.

The phrase “porn for women” is thrown around a lot these days, sometimes mockingly accompanied by a photo of a man doing the dishes, but you might be surprised to learn that there is a massive community of porn – real, explicit, kinky, delicious porn – created by women, for women. I'm talking about fanfiction.

I’m a huge fan of orgasms. Huge. Hell, I’m a damn groupie. I’ll pursue orgasms like deadheads used to follow the Grateful Dead—and then Phish after Jerry Garcia died. You’d be hard-pressed to find someone who likes the “big O” more than me (though admittedly, you’ll find plenty of people who like them just as much as me).

Over my time, I've heard a lot of people talking about how sex and help when you are depressed. Being one who like sex and hates feeling depressed, this very much intrigued me and I wanted to find out more. How does depression affect one's sex life? How could sex possibly help one's depression? Is it all really that simple? So, I decided to start some research and find my answers.

Sex is a very personal thing and sometimes we get caught up in our own pleasure. While you may think you're entirely giving in bed, there are still ways to open up and consider your partner more, which in turn will help draw you closer.

Do you like sex? Do you like ambiance? If there's one thing we learned from ice-cream sandwiches, it's that good things are always better combined. (Or, well, usually, at any rate. We received quite a different message from jalapeno jelly beans.)

You’ve probably all seen it by now, the remarkable study that reveals how the more sexually aroused a woman becomes, the more willing she is to swallow her scruples. Well, in case no one had noticed, men are no different.

As odd as this concept might be. I have actually seen some sexy looking zombies. One was in Return Of The Living Dead. This one girl with a punk hair coloring job got turned into a zombie and in one scene is walking fast through some fog and then attacks a homeless guy.

In Egyptian mythology, ib or heart portion of the soul was placed on a scale balanced against the Feather of Ma'at. The feather a symbolizing truth, in the judgment of the dead. All of our deeds, sins and contributes laid in the weight of the heart and if heavier then the feather the heart was gobbled by Ammit.

It happens to the best of us. You're in the moment, fully enjoying every kiss, stroke, and lick...until you're not. You start thinking about the laundry that needs to get done or that fight we had with whoever or the bills that need to get paid and before you know it, you are just over it. Sex? Not anymore. These three steps are my sure-fire way to move through those moments and back to your pleasure...fast.

Imagine you’re just meeting someone new. It could be in person at a party, someone you bump into while going about your daily business, on a first date, or it could be on an online dating or social networking site.

Let’s spend a moment on Oral Sex. We don’t mean the licking, slurping, sucking kind; although we love that kind too! We mean opening up your soft, warm lips and sending luscious vibrations through those little white chords that say, “I want you to fuck me. Slow. Fast. Long. Hard.” And, “Please, make it hurt… just a little.” Want to talk about that? We do.

To be simultaneously funny, sexy, seductive, and shocking is no easy task, but burlesque dancers manage to get a rise out of an audience, one way or another. New York’s Museum of Sex celebrates burlesque, past and present in the their recently opened exhibition "The Nudie Artist: Burlesque Revived," which not only explains the history of burlesque, but how it has become an art form in itself.

Not everyone is a “roses-n-chocolates” kind of lover. Some of us are even irked by the idea of a greeting-card-industry “holiday.” But that doesn't have to stop them from making the most of the sexy mood permeating everything from grocery stores to restaurants come February 14. Here are some suggestions for enjoying V-Day for those of us with darker tastes & kinkier vibes (including singles)!

Have you ever walked alone into a darkened room and got that anxious, foreboding feeling something shouldn’t be there; something in the shifting shadows just out of sight, something with unknown motive and malevolent intent? Or does imagination just get the better of us sometimes?

The journey music takes from the time it enters through the ears to when it arrives between the thighs is informed by factors of both culture and physiology. (Yeah, we knew there had to be a reason why only the few and the kinky have sex to the tune of "Jive Talkin'"...)

Another week, another hot topic, another 140 characters of steamy micro-erotic excellence. Presenting our weekly winner, runner-up and the outstanding entries for last week’s topic: “Embracing the Strange.”

What is erotic? Ask the question of 100 people, 100 different answers volley back like flaming arrows toward a castle under siege. Each is as unique as the stripes on a tiger, some markedly more dangerous, all indisputably valid.

One week, 140 characters...and your imagination. Presenting our weekly winner, runner-up and the outstanding entries for last week’s topic: What is the taste of a woman that's most enticing to your tongue?

A dozen years have passed since a curvy intern and the President of the United States launched an infamous sex scandal that left a mark infinitely more indelible on our culture than a telltale DNA stain on a blue dress.

In a marketplace geared toward the design-conscious consumer—in which you can customize everything from your tits to your license plates—there are still two items that almost always default to black: luggage and kinky sex gear.

It might be a graceful phrase from Anais Nin or Pat Califia, sought out or stumbled on, but as with any sexual attraction, once it chooses you, your heartbeat quickens, you’re aware of your breathing, and you become a bit stupid with horniness. That’s what reading erotica does to you—at least good erotica.

There is a thriving trade here in this whimsical Arizona desert town, an otherworldly place of nearly supernatural beauty. Towering crimson cliffs and blood-red buttes stand sentinel over the errant souls who have been seduced by Sedona’s mystical allure, but few know its well-kept secret. Sex for salvation is nothing new, but here it has become a craft.

I won’t lie: Sex has saved me. From myself especially. From going so deep into the spirals of my own brain which could drive me crazy. But when everything is perfect, there is no mind in sex. There is just feeling; just the body, moving, stretching, pulling, reaching, opening, pulsing, listening, taking, giving; just sensation.

Sex magic may be witchcraft’s greatest open secret, and very much real. When I first undertook the writing of this article, I thought it was something I wanted to explore with my partner. As I dug deeper, I realized sex magic is something very powerful, and best left to practitioners with more skills and knowledge than me. Nonetheless, it’s a fascinating topic, and one worth exploring.

My sex life was completely, 100 percent, definitely no question about it attributed to my high and low moods. So, I stepped away from the computer and told a doctor in real life. I was easily diagnosed as bipolar, in part because of the record setting, in addition to the fact that I was unbalanced and moody. Since, bipolar has been written on my metaphorical psychiatric permanent record.

Jay realized he was asexual by the end of high school and came out during college. Like most anyone who falls outside of the sexual norm, he spent a long time wondering what was wrong with him. “I knew I wasn’t experiencing something everyone else was experiencing, but I didn’t know what that meant. There was a pretty strong indication from pop culture that sexuality is a big deal.”

I used to be a prude, but I didn’t know it. I had what I thought was good sex. My husband then (now ex) and I played around a little bit, did things like “69” and the occasional blindfolding. Seemed shocking and kinky at the time.

Have you ever wondered about the term sex positive? If you’re like me, you see it all over the place, especially on sex-related sites. I confess I use it way more often than I should. It’s become one of those industry buzzwords that has, over time, become so fuzzy around the edges that to some, it’s now virtually meaningless.

No matter how you say it, it seems everyone is talking about body size—either their own or someone else's. Fatspeak is a national obsession. So much talk is meant to belittle that it’s easy to give offense where none was intended. Here's a quick lexicon on Fat Language. Consider this a travel phrase book to the land of Fat where the roads are often dangerous, unmapped and slippery when wet.

Being a sex-educator isn’t all glamour all the time. And for Sarah Sloane, it’s more about being a sex-positive gypsy, traveling the highways and byways to deliver the good word—sort of like an evangelist, with a strap-on. In her first column, our heroine reflects on life, long-distance sex, and the evils of cheap hotel beds.

I’m often asked about my work as a sex therapist. I’m surprised at how few people have any sense of what we actually do. While I can’t speak for all my fellow therapists, I can tell you a bit about my own practice.