Subscribe to this blog

Subscribe by Email

Search This Blog

Bad News Blogfest: "Till Death Us Do Part"

Thank you to the lovely Francine atRomancing the Blog for hosting the Bad News Blogfest. There are no hard rules but the piece should be about a character receiving bad news with lots of emotional impact. Here's my entry - its a snippet called ' Till Death Us Do Part.' I have to warn you, it's rather lengthy vs. a normal post so if you want to skip, please do. I shall catch up with you on my next post! If you do read it, I hope you will enjoy it, please let me know what you think.

* The following contains adult themes and the 'f b words', if this causes you serious discontent, please avert thine eyes and ears and read no more, I don't wish to offend anyone. Thank you *

Judith played with the small set of china figurines that sat on the tray gathering dust on the hallway table. She passed them by daily without a second glance however; today they seemed to call to her. Picking up ' the Wife of Bath' figurine, she traces the lady's features. A present from her mother, an old family keepsake, it was her reward for graduating with honours in English. Definitely dusty. She'd have a word with Maddie, remind her what proper damp dusting entailed. With unsteady hands, she fiddles with each of the figures, turning them just so. And she knows the reason her fingers are shaking is not because Jack had left her bed barely two hours earlier. The sheets were still warm, she thought as she'd pulled the bedroom door shut.

No, the shakiness was due to the fact that Camille, her oldest friend from university, and Jack's estranged wife would darken her doorstep, wanting to pick over their broken down marriage. Sure, she was sympathetic, and yes, she loved her old friend but Judith couldn't let Jack go. Not this time. They were in love. And, he was talking about coming clean with Camille this week. That thought sent Judith's mind spinning out of kilter. How could she face everyone? She'd forever be branded the scarlet woman, home wrecker, and husband stealer. Whore. She pleaded with Jack this morning to wait, give it a few months, let Camille move on, but he'd been adamant. This week, he would tell Camille.

The intercom buzzed noisily from the kitchen and she hurried along to answer it. "Hello?"

"Its me." Camille's cheery voice floated through the receiver.

"Come up." Judith buzzed her friend in through the lobby. She looked nervously around the room before flicking the on switch for the electric jug. They would have tea first, and then she would break the news to her. She patted down her sandy blonde hair, fixed her lipstick and walked gingerly, like a woman condemned to her own front door. Actually Jack, you're wrong. Judith smiled to herself as a silly thought slipped into her mind. This would be the day. She'd tell Camille herself.

A quick rap on the door, and Judith's bravado dissolves as she opens it. Camille, a tall svelte brunette, dressed in casual biege chino's and a navy blue blouse sweeps into the hallway, camel coat tossed over her shoulder. Both ladies 'air kiss' each other.

"Darling! You look wonderful!" Camille studies her old friend for a few seconds before releasing her. "There's something different about you."

"Unhealthy? What on earth do you mean?" She pauses, flicking her head. "Wait a minute, is there something you're not telling me Judith?

"No, why?"

"You seem a little too sure...I can't put my finger on it. Has...Jack said something to you about me?

"Whaa-aat? Jack? No!"

Camille's chocolate molten eyes scrutinise Judith at length, she places her teacup on the table before turning towards her friend. "He hasn't called you? Jude, I know you guys were close at varsity before he and I got together." She leans into Judith who shies away, backing up against the sofa.

Judith shakes her head, desperately trying to collect her thoughts. "Gosh, a few months ago." She'd met Jack for a drink, and they had talked for hours, washing away the years, uncovering the spark of attraction that they'd both felt before but had been too coy to act on.

"And?" Camille demands loudly, bringing her back to the present. "Why didn't you tell me? What did he say?"

"Look, I'm really sorry. I don't know how to say this."

Just.Say.It!"

"He's moved on; he doesn't love you anymore." There she'd said it out aloud.

"What?" Camille looks at her as if she were a specimen under a microscope. "Who?"

Judith signs, staring back at her teacup. "I-I don't know. He wouldn't say. Honestly, I think its someone from his office."

"Liar!" Jack would never cheat on me." She stands, challenging Judith.

"Camille, you were having an affair when Jack left. What's with the double standards?"

"Double standards? I thought you were my friend." She snaps angrily at Judith.

"F*** You. I'm leaving. Seriously Jude, if you're taking Jack's side on this..." Camille's hands are on her hips, her nostrils flaring, she grabs her coat and strides purposely to the hallway. Judith watches silently from the safety of her sofa, her heart beating wildly. This time she counts down from ten.

As Camille fumbles with the door, her gaze lands on the small tray of china figures in the hallway. "F****** witch!" She screams, and with a sweep of her camel coat, she sends the entire tray flying, the china crashing into pieces on the floor. A horrifying noise like an dying animal fills the hall from behind her. Judith steps forward carefully, her bright blue eyes staring in disbelief at the broken china.

"Oh my god. That was my 'Wife of Bath' from my mother. You knew how much that meant to me." Her face is twisted in anguish, fists clenched at her sides.

"And the fact that some whore is screwing my husband means nothing to me?" Camille spat. Her eyes ablaze, her voice coated in hatred, dripping with accusation. Judith shudders, her eyes widen as her hand automatically flies to her lips. Covering her terrified groan. A knot tightens deep down in her stomach as she feels the bile rise to her throat. Oh my god, she knows. Somehow, the b**** already knows.

Oh thanks Terry! I love your comments. You keep telling Judith what to do, she's a little indecisive. ;) In fact, she's going to call Jack right now...well after she's cleaned up the mess his ex has made.

The truth is Jack and Judith would've got it together years ago whilst studying however the vivacious Camille caught young Jacks eye at the time, something he regrets now of course. *sigh*

Love the post amazing narration and its drama at it's best i also favor Judith here maybe i feel sorry for her..but Camille she's cold i have to admit. Thank you for stopping by and the lovely comment you left as well as following me. So am giving a follow back too :)

Hello Wild Rose, thanks so much! *blushes* It's different to other pieces I've written, I wanted to take a really sensitive scene and layer in the emotions. Thank you for visiting and for following too. ;)

Oooh a very dramatic scene. I was interested how your writing style changed, sometimes it sounded almost like a screenplay and at others more in the style of a novel.The pace kept up all the way through and I loved the Wife of Bath symbol. Great stuff. :O)

@Madeleine, you're the only one thus far to comment on the Wife of Bath. I was tortured by Chaucer many years ago and the WoB left an impression. ;)) Thank you so much for your feedback, I'm still honing my writing so really appreciate it.

Hard. Core! Love the realistic dialogue and the way the scene started one way but went into an entirely different direction, revealing a new layer to Judith's personality that I didn't expect. Well done!

@ Liz - hello! Thanks so much for your wonderful feedback!! Am very chuffed! This is very different to my other pieces, possibly a little shocking, but I wanted to keep the language realistic with what two female adults in that situation would say. I liked changing gears with the scene, keeping the reader thinking. ;)

Female intuition is a powerful thing. Camille's mind is racing right now, she's putting dates, snatched conversations with Jack, and Judith together...her mind is piecing together those niggling parts of a jigsaw. She may have a little self denial here too, but her gut feeling tells her she's right.

@Clara - Thank you! ;D I was wary of the wordcount so the scene kind of escalated as soon as Camille arrived. I would've drawn it out under normal circumstances though. Glad you enjoyed and thanks so much for stopping by. ;)

Wow, the characterization is amazing. You could completely leave off dialogue tags and still know which person was talking. I really wanted Judith to woman up and tell Camille what's up, but that's complete fantasy. Doesn't happen like that in real life, especially when the circumstances of Jack and Judith getting together are complicated. Of course she'd feel guilt, though in my book o' morals, she shouldn't. This dialogue was wonderfully realistic and intense. Well done!

Thank you for such wonderful feedback! I'm completely blown away and greatly appreciate it. ;) I really wanted to keep the dialogue real with this scene and the characters. Judith does need to stand up for herself but I think that would follow naturally. Right now, she's got to kick Camille out of her house. Am very happy you enjoyed it.

Thank you for the follow too, I shall look forward to 'talking' more with you! ;)

Great twist! I loved the POV from the "other" woman (even though technically, she wasn't). I could have just strangled Camille and was anticipating Judith doing so!!! It feels like it should be a larger scene. I'd love to know what happens between all three characters after that little teaser. :)

Jacee - Thank you! ;) LOL! I think there's a queue to strangle our feisty Camille. I agree, it's easily a larger scene, I would normally draw this out however with the blogfest I was conscious of the length. So glad you want to know more about the characters! I'm going to let them simmer a while. I suspect Jack will need to be prepared as estranged/ex wife, is about to storm his office. TBD. There will be fireworks no doubt. LOL:)