"I've worked myself up from nothing to a state of supreme poverty." (Groucho Marx)

"Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms." (Groucho Marx)

"Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you." (Groucho Marx)

"Quote me as saying I was misquoted." (Groucho Marx)

"The only real laughter comes from despair." (Groucho Marx, The Groucho Letters)

"Until TV, nobody knew the caliber of the clowns governing the country. It's impossible to observe these chowder heads in action with their funny hats and balloons, without feeling sure we're destined to go the way of Rome, Greece and big-time vaudeville..." (Groucho Marx, The Groucho Letters)