Possibility. People always speak of standing at the “edge of possibility.” Yet this phrase befits Possibility with inherent characteristics to which I take issue. An edge grants Possibility too much shape. That in fact, Possibility is maybe a downward trip, as if at the edge of a cliff. Or that Possibility is a mere shift from one state to another, that you before you were not in Possibility, but now you find yourself there. Possibility is most certainly not a locality.

The coherent image of Possibility presented leads one into a state of false comfort. Not that Possibility should be feared, lest one shirk away from its potential. But nor should it be so easily approached as to think it conquerable, for if anything, Possibility is the unconquerable. It’s not an edge to be jumped, only to look back and say, “I survived!” Just as you finish your triumphant fist pump and turn to continue along your way, there is Possibility, leering at you, willing to put up with your exuberant naiveté, just don’t do it again.

Imagine yourself weightless, darkness all around you. You have lost all sense of direction, and all that was absolute a minute ago is now lost in sea of relativity. Then, all around you, lights begin to shine, stars almost, pinpoints, the beginnings of Possibility.

These points of light, they grow, they feed on your affinities, your pleasures and whims, your fantasies. Yet they also feed on your dislikes, your animosities, your horrors. As they grow they begin to snake out, to intersect one another, small threads making their way through this dark nowhere, illuminating this realm in your future.

Despite the increasing illumination, you still cannot orient yourself. You catch site of a Possibility out of the corner of your eye, yet just as you take focus it has reshaped itself, perspective and attention drastically affecting the growth of an individual Possibility. Attempting to bring another individual into this realm only serves to malform and mutate the Possibilities at an exponentially increasing rate. Shoo, you just make it more confusing.

Grasping one Possibility, for better or worse, you try to follow it to it’s completion. Though the threads of light are all around you, any individual thread vanishes in the not so distant future. Was it heading over towards happiness or despair? I couldn’t tell, it just went over there. Not for me.

Coming to this realm too soon leads you to madness, as the Possibilities only grow until they crowd you out, no longer in control, no longer responding to your thoughts and desires. Coming too late and Possibilities have started to die off, shriveling up, yet in their death leaving you none the wiser of their final destination. You leave defeated.

Coming at just the right time does not exist, for you will never convince yourself, in the moment of decision, that whatever you choose is the perfect choice. You may lie to yourself, but that is just human nature, to lie to yourself. The only benefit of coming after too soon but before too late, is that you have not been blinded by their light for so long, spiraling into madness while Possibilities die.

Seizing upon another (was it pulsing quickly with excitement and adventure or slowly with comfort and familiarity?) you begin your journey toward the unknown. The guidebook you hold in your hand is abruptly torn from your hand, the power of Possibility denying you any right to foresight. Preparation might protect you from all but the strongest buffets as the energy courses over you, but you will never be fully guarded.

Hindsight will justify your decision in the end, don’t worry. Making the decision is the most difficult part, though for future reference, most any decision will do. The trip might be short, it might be long. Others may grab onto the thread as it makes its way along. Take them as they are, for like you, they are happy simply to have made a decision, unlike so many of their peers. It truly is a small bunch that actually seize a thread of Possibility so surely and hold on throughout its course. It’s almost as if the thread itself exudes an aura of camaraderie, a bolstering effect, uniting the disparate individuals together for the journey.

Possibility itself is neither good nor evil, wishing neither to factor in malice or benefit. It thrives upon the energies of those it surrounds, some feeding it more than others. From passion it draws power, from apathy it shies away. Ultimately, it is you who creates Possibility from the nether. Once conceived, its life becomes its own, only its primordial transition is initiated by you. Seizing upon it, once grown, is the least you can do to fulfill its existence.

Disclaimer

This blog is an account of active Peace Corps service in Kenya from 2008 to 2011. Please be advised that what I write here are my own opinions and observations, which do not reflect the official views of the Peace Corps. Kenya diggit?

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