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Sitting here, Right
now – this very moment – Many
people come to my mind…

Some
of them are far, far away… And,
some are not so far; Some
are alive, And,
some are no more.

I
am in touch with The kind of feelings My
heart experiences Whenever
my mind stops at Each
of these persons. I
feel extremely happy, Elated, privileged and secure When
I think of some; And,
when I think of some other, I
feel sad, angry, Betrayed and extremely insecure. My
mind swings like a seesaw … Sometimes,
I am on ‘Cloud Nine’ - Very up-beat… And,
sometimes, in doldrums - Very, very down.

I
am not a rock… I
am a human with a heart. My
heart needs care, Reassurances of love… It
longs to find an anchor, Time and time again. I
need some good souls in my life To
tell me with all their heart – That
I am a fine soul… That
they accept me With
all my mortal flaws. I
need some good souls In my life To
whom I can say, Even
in the dread of the night… “Dear,
I feel good about myself Just
when I think of you… I
feel very, very secure!” An…

She
is just twelve… and she is the only child to her parents. Two years ago, her
mother died in a road accident. The father always loved this little girl and
treated her more like a friend rather than like a daughter. She would talk to
him about anything and everything. But, now, he is a lot worried. He had come to
talk to me, this morning.

“Sir, she listens to you,” he
said. “I want you to talk to her.”

Talk to the little girl about
what?

The girl doesn’t talk to her
father the way she did before. Whenever he tries to talk to her, she either
doesn’t open up or argues, yells.

“What is wrong with you?” he
screams at her angrily, “Why do you behave like this?”

If only, she knew - ‘Why?’

I am not a psychologist or a
psychotherapist. Nor am I a psychiatrist. I am just a normal teacher… and, I
didn’t even have a daughter to raise and, thereby, know why the little girls
change, why they sulk, why they rebel… yell back at their parents.

When I first came to Mumbai, my cousin’s wife helped me get a job in an Insurance Company. It was just a temporary job; but, for a struggler like me, it meant a lot.

I was not interested in any office work, as I was dreaming about a teaching world. But, the hard reality was that I was alone in Mumbai and I had to earn… I had to accept any job that came my way… Yes, I had to be ‘practical’.
So, there I was… in that office doing a job not of my interest. Naturally, my heart was not in it.

What I still remember about that short stint in that office is: there were two very senior colleagues around me; they have stayed in my mind for two different reasons.
The first one was a very rude person. He was unapproachable… extremely critical and for my every mistake - like little children in school do - he would run to the Manager’s cabin to complain. It was a daily scene… and, I would dread to think about this man… So, negative he was!

Let me tell you very honestly. I had asked this man, casually, as I generally do.

“I am blessed,” was this man’s response.

And, it hit me like a bolt, suddenly!

I looked at him… into his eyes, particularly. Why did he say that? Was he saying that mechanically, the way I did?
“I am blessed!” Wow, what a way of telling the world, “I am fine”!

I knew this man. Last year, he went through a hell lot of problems… He lost his young wife to cancer, and then, he lost a huge amount of money in business. After that, we lost contact.

Last afternoon, when I met him, I never expected him to respond the way he did. There was loss, there was pain… and it wasn’t so easy to recover… It wasn’t easy to put oneself back on track, so fast… So, if someone had asked me in such a state “How are you?” would I have responded the way this man did? I wondered.
It wouldn’t have been that easy for me!

“I liked the way you said, ‘I am blessed!’ ” I told him feeling very happy on what I had heard.
“I …

“I will wish you on Christmas,”He said.“Wish me now,Today is Christmas,” I told him. “Don’t be a fool, my friend;”He said irritated,“Every day is not Christmas.”I did not want to seeMy friend irritatedWith what I said… So, I said,“Yes, friend,Every day is not Christmas.”When Christmas comes, Bells will chime…Snow will fall…And, Stars will be bright…There will be music, There will be dance…And, there will beA never-ending night!Yes, that is the time, Someone wants to wish me:“Merry Christmas!”Not, NOW!There is music in my heart…There is dance in my soul…The bells are chiming…The snow is falling…And, yes, the Stars are bright.My heart longs to wish, “Merry Christmas, my friend… Please, don’t wait.”

GERALD D'CUNHATHANKS:The brilliant images used in this Post are by Ashok Ahuja. He is a professional Photographer and a very dear friend of mine. He is also one of the founder members of The Dawn Club, and, along with his gifted-artist wife, Sudha, has been helping me, and the Club, right …

Fear is not true… it is a lie.”Well, I have heard the Wise-men say…And, often, playing a Wise-man’s role, I have said so, myself!Now, is Fear really a lie?This morning, I left home, Feeling that lack, all over again…Maybe, it had something to do With those two scary dreams I dreamt last night… Maybe, someone somewhere Had stopped praying for my well-being… I do not know…But, I did leave my homeFeeling a bit scared… Like a little child leaving for school… Yes, on ‘some days’!Does Night exist?The night which brought me scary dreams Is a lie - the Wise-men say…They say – it is only the absence of light!“Oh! Yes, yes, you are perfectly right…” I say without even blinking.The same feeling I getWhenever these Wise-men say, “Boy, the Fear is not there…It is only the absence of Faith… Absence of Trust!”But then, this morning, I began to doubt this wisdom … for a while…“Fear is there… It exists,” I began to argue.Then, I came here and wrote…“Fear is not true… It is a lie,Last night…”The last n…

It is one of the brilliantly shot chase scenes of Indian cinema. The honest and tough Super Cop is chasing the most wanted Don. Someone has tipped the Super Cop that the Don will be at the airport … and the Don has been tipped by someone that his nemesis, (his rival Don) would be at the airport trying to flee the country. So, the Don is after his nemesis… and the Super Cop is after the Don. In those last some minutes, the Don manages to hoodwink the Cop… shoots down his nemesis in one of the most inspiring scenes… And, now, it is Don's turn to be on the run… He runs into the runway… towards the aircraft which is all set to take off… and, there, we hear the Cop shouting… warning the Don, “Stop… Else, I will shoot you down,”… “I will shoot you down.” Then, he does. The Don falls… and, the Cop has him…. But, strangely, the Cop has him in his arms! “No, Vijay…No…,” “Kuch nahin hogo tuje… Nahin. Nahin..,Vijay.” “Dad, magar… Nahin dad…” the Don is dying…“Nahin, Vijay...” The dad does no…

Every material thing,Around me, Is relative in value!Everything looks pale, worn-out and outdatedAs Time passes by.And, many a times, Even Time is not required to make things Look pale, worn-out and outdated…My mind is enough!The cell-phone that I useIs just an ordinary Nokia one.The other day, I asked a student of mine:“Where can I change its battery?” “What battery sir,” the young one shouted, “Change your phone; buy a Blackberry… You can afford one.”For a while, I hid my embarrassment. Then, I murmured in my mind, “Dear, my son has one… The one better than yours.” Then, feeling strongly for it, I grumbled in my heart, “But, dude, ‘I’ paid for it…

'Passionate about Life.'... That's how I see myself. For me, the term 'passion' has a special meaning. It is living life with its totality... With all its hues and confusions, with all its triumphs and defeats.
I consider myself as a little kid, still groping in the dark -- trying to find a way out of this great maze. Sometimes, I wonder: whether there is a way out at all? Whether the maze itself is the way?
Thus, as a kid awe-struck by this amazing mystery called LIFE, I have a lot to share with my fellow kids. I believe, it would be an exciting and fulfilling journey, each morning...
I am, indeed, looking forward to each dawn, with fresh eyes... And my fresh note to share...
Love,
GERALD D'CUNHA