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Were now at week three of my Birthday project! if you skipped week one please go back and start with Age 19.

Age 21

You think this year would be about drinking and partying especially when living in NYC. But it wasn't at all. This year I had fallen deeper into a self hating spiral. As my relationship became more mentally and physically abusive I became more angry at others. Partially for not saying anything and some for being able to replace me so easily. I was fed lies that I was in my situation because I wasn't good enough. I obsessed over everything wrong about me and everything great about everyone else. I was drowning myself by trying to be this beautiful flower when in the end I was just another weed. The thing that stuck out most this year was a lavender plant my boyfriend had kept from another girl. I hated it so much that I think how I felt was eventually what killed it. It was a constant reminder that I would never be enough.