Parenting Tips for Single Mothers

After divorce, some single moms may have an identity crisis combined with feelings of loss, disappointment and frustration. Single mothers often feel as though they can not make a clean emotional break from the marriage because of frequent contact and continuing arguments with ex-husbands.

Depression may be an issue for some single moms after divorce. Some divorced mothers may feel guilt about a failed marriage and may also suffer from low self esteem, especially after a particularly rough or painful divorce.

When fighting between parents continues well after the divorce, single mothers may be worn thin and feel defeated. Coping with divorce can be a complex and sometimes lengthy process, but eventually single mothers recover and move forward by effectively parenting the children.

Separate Lives, Same Parenting

For divorced parents to each play a role in raising happy, healthy children, there must be open communication. Single mothers should try to create a lifestyle with emotional independence, as well as healthy dialog with their ex-husbands regarding the children.

Although it's difficult to keep the peace between a divorcing couple, parents should try to have a child friendly divorce to protect their children. Once the divorce is finalized, it's best to avoid any behaviors that may cause parental alienation and wreck the relationship you once had with your children.

Absent Fathers and Disappointed Children

Despite a single mother's best efforts and intentions, some fathers may not keep in touch with the children. This can be particularly hurtful and disappointing to children and extremely frustrating to a single mother.

Besides dealing with unpaid child support or trouble collecting an alimony award, single moms must help their children cope with an absentee dad. This can be extremely difficult in the best of circumstances, but is almost impossible if a single mom is also suffering from depression and has not sought treatment.

Tips for Single Moms after Divorce

Experts may have a whole range of suggestions for single moms when it comes to parenting, including:

Keep children out of communications with an ex-husband. Children should not be allowed or expected to deliver messages between parents or listen to any arguments.

Don't rely on ex-husbands for advice or emotional support. Single mothers should avoid any emotional entanglements with their ex-husbands and keep the contact short and sweet.

Discussions between divorced parents should focus on the children.

Insist on being spoken to in a calm and respectful manner or not at all by the childrens' father. Any phone conversations that escalate into shouting matches should be ended immediately.

Single moms and dads should communicate when conversations can be civil. When there is tension, divorced parents may communicate in writing if a phone conversation isn't possible.

Child support is ordered by the court in order to provide support for the children. It is not a gift, a luxury or a bonus for single mothers. Children of divorced parents are entitled to support from both parties and single mothers should not feel guilt or remorse for accepting court ordered child support payments.

In some cases, divorced fathers who are ordered to pay child support may attempt to shame or pressure single mothers about child support issues. If a father is ordered by a family court judge to pay child support, the mother shouldn't be concerned how he will come up with the money or if it will cut into his spare change.

Child support guidelines and child support factors determined by the state consider the income and financial obligations of both parents and ordered accordingly. If there are enough financial problems for the father, me can petition the divorce court to modify child support.
A single mother can also ask for an increase in child support, if the
financial circumstances have changed since the divorce decree.

It Is Not Easy Being Mom

Single mothers with sole child custody often are the ones to enforce bed times and curfews, homework is done, rooms cleaned and every rule is followed. When money is tight because of finances or unpaid child support, the mom will have to try to provide for the children as best she can on her own.

Single moms have to deal with their children's hurt feelings when dads show up hours late or not at all for a scheduled child visitation, without speaking badly of the father.

As many challenges as there may be to raise children in a single parent household, the rewards are also great. Single mothers can take great pride in knowing that they are working hard to raise great children who have all the potential to grow into secure, successful and happy adults.

Connect with a Local Divorce Attorney about Parenting after Divorce

A local divorce lawyer can help you figure out what needs to happen after your divorce decree is final. Learn about any future legal needs you may have, as well as resources that may help you in being a single parent. Speak to a divorce attorney near you by calling 877-349-1310 or filling out a divorce case review form. Protect your relationship with your child by getting in touch with a divorce lawyer today.

The above summary is by no means all-inclusive
and is not legal advice. For the latest information on divorce issues,
speak to a divorce attorney in your area.