Preacher-Teacher: Vol. 4

Share.

Two in one week! Jess wades through custody battles, lukewarm love lives and reader criticism.

By Jessica Chobot

Hey everyone! I just wanted to say "Thanks" again for all of your letters. As you can see, only certain amounts of your letters make it on the site. I've been worried that for those of you whose letters haven't been posted, you are disappointed and miffed thinking that I am ignoring you. Please let me assure you that such is not the case. I read every single letter that is sent to me.

As for answering your queries privately (vs. on the site), as much as I would love to, I'm afraid I can't do that. Time constraints are a BIG factor why that is difficult for me. However, a possible solution is for us is to start a Preacher-Teacher thread on the boards for small questions, follow-up stories and the like.

Needless to say, it's been a joy receiving and answering your email and I look forward to continuing these articles far into the future.

I love your answers, so I felt that you are the one person I should ask.

I am a divorced male. The ex and I have a kid. Well, we have been divorced going on two years and she is living with another guy and engaged. I am now happy, I am meeting some really great women, and I even took one with me when I dropped off the kid to my ex wife. Ever since then, My ex-wife has been calling and she even wanted a background check on the girl I was dating at the time. Now the ex is calling for stupid crap and she wants to talk a lot. And she even admitted to being somewhat jealous, well, I don't want her back and because she bitched, nagged and cheated. Plus, she got mad when I played my video games. Well I want to start over with a new special someone, but I am afraid that this could be potential problems, even though she has dated a bunch of guys since our split.

When I meet someone and I don't want my ex to terrorize her, I was very good to her boyfriends and I expect the same in return for my girlfriends.

I know I have to talk to her because of the kid, but I don't want her to interfere in my life and tell me who I have to date, and I know she is going to hate any girl that I date that is better looking than her. What do I do?

Kerry

Jess: Mistake #1 Kerry is this: I am now happy, I am meeting some really great women, and I even took one with me when I dropped off the kid to my ex wife.

Women are very, very, very territorial. Like I had mentioned in a previous article-no matter how much a woman doesn't want to be with you, what she wants even less than that is for a different female to have found her way into your bed and heart. When Woman #2 has made it on the scene, oftentimes Woman #1 will have a complete snit fit over the fact that she's been replaced, she no longer feels like she has power over you, you don't find her attractive anymore, blah, blah, nag, nag&#Array;..

When you couple this with the fact that you took Woman #2 to Woman #1's home turf (dropping off your love-spawn no less), what truly surprises me is that your Ex didn't full on bitch-slap you.

While I do not condone your Ex's rude behavior to your new g-friend (especially since your Ex has had no qualms about whoring herself out since your break-up&#Array;and possibly before), I do think she has the right to ask you for some background history on the women you bring around your kid. The catch? What's good for the goose is good for the gander, and you have as MUCH of a right to request the same kind of background info on the lovers she has dragging your son/daughter out to their little league matches.

As for how you should handle the assimilation of future loves within your life? Two words: baby steps. Date your new woman on the DL tip for a bit. Don't shove your kid into the mix until you've received your Ex's permission first and the ground rules have been established. Basically, just try to be as "common-sensical" as you can about this whole bundle of emotional crap.

What REALLY bothers me though, even more than your jealous Ex, is that you refer to your kid as "the kid". I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you are referring to this child of God as such because you do not want your letter to be recognized by your psychotic Ex. However, if that is not the case, please, please promise me that you are treating your child the way an innocent little boy/girl who loves their parents unconditionally should be treated. The last thing this world needs is more screwed-up, worthless people-fodder getting in my way.

Hey Jess,

I'm somewhat at a loss. Not too many games catch my attention. I like games with lots of difficult puzzles and theatrical stories. Case in point, short button smashing games rarely can hold my attention, save Street Fighter III, which I am obsessed with. My dilemma is my female neighbor, acquaintance friend, whatever you wanna call it has shown some interest in Soul Calibur 3. She loves it. She comes over and plays it for hours upon hours! Problem is, she's bored with it and has done everything with her favorite character Talim that she can do. The difficulties above hard are waaaay too difficult (even for me sometimes) and no other character interests her. So after thirty or so hours of gaming bliss she has abandoned the game.

Now here is the problem. All the other games I have... you know the long, puzzle-filled, theatrical games bore her stupid or are waaay too advanced. I've tried everything I could throw at her. World of Warcraft, Halo 2, Zelda: Ocarina of Time, Grand Theft Auto, Gran Turismo 3, Mario Kart DS, Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, God of War, Resident Evil 4, Metroid Prime Echoes, Ninja Gaiden. I even tried Phantasy Star Online III.

It seems she likes action and constant interaction. So PSO was faaar too slow for her. However, changing camera angles and moving at the same time as is required of damn near every good action game these days baffles her. She died in co-op Halo 2 five times by jumping of a cliff because all she could see was the sky.

What do I do? Buy a ping pong table?

J.Ward

P.S. Answer this or I'll burn down your building a la "Office Space"

P.S.S. I love that movie...

Jess: "P.S. Answer this or I'll burn down your building a la "Office Space."

I do not respond very well to threats *sharpens her ninja stars* but I do respond to nerds in trouble, so hopefully I can make something good come from this.

Honestly, after reading through your email, it seems to me that your problem is actually rather simple&#Array;.or maybe just the girl is simple? I mean, c'mon! She can't handle WoW!? Can she chew gum and walk at the same time?

Ok, ok, enough criticism on your choice of babe. At least she's playing something. So what other games can you get that will entice her to come over and fill the void in your heart? Each platform has a ton of button-mashers that you could pick up and bribe her with. First one that comes to mind is the Mortal Kombat series. Classic brutality at it's finest. You can even use the "Finish Him" mode as an excuse to get close to her and show her the proper finger-pushings via some Patrick Swayze Ghost action. If the Street Fighter series and its crossovers are too slow for her, try nabbing a Dreamcast system off of eBay and enticing her with the original Soul Calibur. Still not working? While it seems like a loss, her disinterest in your place is actually a score. Why? Use this and your lack of fun fighters as a way to take her out on a date to a proper arcade where she can really put her hand-slapping to the test. If things go well, I have a hunch you might end up mashing some buttons later on as well&#Array;

P.S.S: That is a fine friggin' movie. Best thing Aniston was ever in.

P.S.S.S: Ping-Pong is still an option. Don't forget air hockey either (I have yet met anyone who can beat me at good, old fashioned air hockey-just ask El Jefe).