Open Critique Day #13

If you have a HeroMachine illustration or another piece of artwork you've done that you'd like some help with, post a link to it in comments along with your thoughts on it -- what you think is working, what you're struggling with, etc. I will post my critique of the piece, hopefully giving some tips on how to improve it.

Of course everyone is welcome to post their critiques as well, keeping in mind the following rules:

Make sure your criticism is constructive. Just saying "This sucks" is both rude and unhelpful without giving specific reasons why you think it sucks and, ideally, some advice on how to make it better.

Each person should only post one illustration for critique to make sure everyone who wants feedback has a chance.

I will not critique characters entered in any currently running contest, as that doesn't seem fair to the other entrants. You can still post it if you like for the other visitors to critique, but I will not do so.

That's it! Hopefully we can get some good interaction going here and help everyone (me included!) learn a little bit today.

Mr.Chris (1): Looks good! The floating face in particular is eerie and effective, but all the summoned creatures are cool. The energy effects coming off his hands and out of the fissures are a good touch as well, and the design of the figure is good.

Where I think it can be strengthened as an illustration is in the color selection. Specifically, you need to differentiate the colors of the figure and the ground — right now they’re the same and as a result it’s really hard to make him out. You can either go with a somewhat lighter gray for his clothing, or if you’re feeling bold you could go with a totally different color for just the cape (which surrounds him and go a long way to making him pop). Or you could do some kind of dark dark green for the middle ground … although even then I think you need to so something with his cape.

You’ve basically got three planes you need to differentiate: the ground, his cape, and the figure itself. Having the same colors for all three creates visual confusion. And with that being the very center of the image, it really pushes the eye out toward the edges and the nifty (and well colored) phantasms. It essentially leaves a hole in the middle.

It’s a cool image and all the pieces are there, with just a little color tweaking I think you’ll be even happier with it. But you did a great job on it so far!

Rosco: I like the idea of the raincoat, but I think you’re going to need to do something with what she has on underneath it. Without the belt or the ability to see the defining hips, and with her thighs hidden by the coat, she looks like she’s been the unfortunate victim of a magician’s “Saw the Lady In Half” trick gone horribly awry. Also, her right (our left) hand seems a little odd … it’s neither gripping the handle nor supporting it. I think there’s a more relaxed hand that might work better, or even the “trigger” one. Right now it just makes me think “Why isn’t that mallet falling over”?

I’ll throw this pic out for some “hard” critiquing. My son had requested a gargoyle of some sort to show his friends at school. It was a hit with the third grade recess gang, let me know what you guys think.

@Mr.Chris: I’m going to disagree with Master Jeff and say I think Yeah, it might be too busy. What if the moon went away? [Yes, I know it’d totally mess up the tides] Or were smaller?
I totally agree on giving his cape some color; I wasn’t sure what it was for a minute.
And those energy flashes around his hands? Have you tried the circular Background Shapes (am I describing those right?) with color gradations? If you set the inside color at 100% and the outside color and line color at 0, it makes a really nice glow effect, which might suit your intent as well as those radiating-line bursty things you’ve got now. [I’ve never been crazy about those, so perhaps my take on this is prejudiced; by all means go with what YOU like.]
And to further nitpick, what is Mr. Bones at bottom right hiding behind? I want it to be another tombstone, but it just seems too square & regular, iykwim.
Oh and the grave-dust behind the rising skeletons: what if some of that was in front of them too?
Don’t get me wrong. On the whole, I like it. I just talk too much.

@ Arioch: Strong image. The emotion in the face is great. A couple of points 1) EARS? 2) With the skin, try one darker shade for your 2nd color 3) Great choice for his beard, but it washs out on his shirt.

ams (9): I think the third grade recess gang has good taste. The one thing that looks a bit off is the belt, I’d try mirroring it and see if it fits better.

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Dionne Jinn (10): I can see why the legs gave you problems, that’s all kinds of crazy. I think you pulled it off well. Anyway, you might want to try changing the man’s eyes, right now he appears to be looking at the viewer instead of the woman.

@Jeff: I have a suggestion regarding the eyes that I think a lot of advanced users would love. If you created a separate category (Advanced Eyes for example) that had all the eye shapes without the pupils and just a see-through hole instead, and one set of pupils that we could layer behind… That way we could make the eyes look wherever we want and could make even crazier eye color combos. And with a separate category everyone else could still use the eyes the way they are right now. Just my $0.02 😉

Anarchangel (5): Love it! One of the best “Squatty Person” illos I’ve seen anyone do. Tons of personality, the outfit works, the colors are spot-on, and he’s a character you definitely would want to know more about. Great job!

Malfar (8): I think the character and outfit are good as-is. The cape works, the colors are overall solid, and the concept is well-executed. I like the glowing eyes.

I keep wanting to say either his bones or the skullpiece on his chest need to be a somewhat different (lighter or darker) shade of yellow. Having them the same makes it look like the chest piece is part of him. Which, cool if that’s what you were going for.

The only other thing I wanted to suggest is maybe doing something different with the background. I don’t like the plain green-to-black gradient here for some reason, probably because the green has yellow in it, and the bones are a strong yellow already. Or maybe it’s just that the green seems more like a healthy biological type of green whereas here’s this undead guy in front of it.

I’d either go with a dark green-to-transparent (or white) gradient behind him (like in Anarchangel’s little squatty guy upthread), or change the base green to something with less yellow in it, or change it to something like purple (the contrasting color to yellow), or add in some faded-out energy effects to give it some visual interest … Something to make it either a presence in the illustration, or to take a strong supporting role that enhances the figure. Otherwise it’s just sort of there, but it’s too bold a color to ignore like you would a plain white backdrop.

I thought I posted this earlier but my mind must be playing tricks on me. I drew this about 20 years ago and I was never quite sure about the proportioning. Although, I suppose that the babric around the legs needs to be loose to allow for the foot to pass through and would get cinched up by the strap.

ams (10): Ha, that’s awesome! Love the way the wings frame the figure, that’s a a great compositional trick. The whole upper body (including the head) works great, he looks believable and ferocious. I like what you did with the moon, too, it’s also a good framing device for the head, while still looking good as just a part of the background. The gradients (very subtle) on the arms help set the right lighting mood, too.

While it’s still good, I’m not as crazy about the bottom part as I am the top. The nice shading on the top is gone, sort of breaking the illusion you had going on up there. And it seems like the top of his left (our right) thigh would be over the loincloth, not occluded by it.

I also think either the building gargoyle head, or the brick part, or both need something, maybe the dirt Pattern, to give them some heft.

Finally, the smoke effects aren’t as strong as the rest of the elements on the page. They come across as a bit flat, or rushed.

Those are just ideas to make a very good illustration even better, though, you’ve done a great job with it and I’m glad the other third graders got as much of a kick out of it as I did!

Dionne Jinn (11): I got your name spelled right this time! Thank goodness for cut and paste 😀

You’ve put together a nice scene here. The female figure in particular is well done, a convincing pose that’s well-conceived. Even the hand at her side looks right!

Although the male figure looks pretty good, he’s not quite as strong visually as the woman. Something about his face reminds me of Keanau Reeves … I think the fact that he’s staring dead ahead while she’s off to his right might be what’s throwing me off. Not that there’s much you can do about that, unless I do something like what Worf suggested (which is certainly a possibility).

The only other comment I wanted to make was that the straight horizontal line cutting off the foreground grass sward from the forest seems forced … I am not sure how to get something less regular and more natural looking at that boundary, but it sort of reinforces the current sense of something being vaguely “off”.

But it’s an evocative scene and you’ve done a nice job with two tough poses, so well done!

I think you’ve got the whole “warrior in a robe” style down, so I’m going to restrict my comments here. When you’re working all in one color for an outfit, it’s really important to use variations of that color to separate out all the layers. I mean, he’s got an over-robe, an under-robe, pants, and a cravat or whatever. They’re all at various levels of his body, yet they are all the exact same color. And then the accents (belt, boots, etc.) are also very close to that value.

Go up or down a few levels on those various pieces. For instance, the inside of his cape/coat/whatever could be a darker green as it’s in shadow behind his body. There’s a bit of that naturally in the item that I included as 30% drop shadows, but with the base color being the same you lose the effect.

The head on his chest seems to stand out a lot as if it were a seperate object rather than being part of his armor. There is almost to much detail on it because it looks very 3D but it makes the rest of the image appear 2D.

headless general (23) I really like your pose for this character. Probably one of the better poses I’ve seen with a shield actually.

I don’t overly care for the insignia on his chest though. Perhaps its that the color scheme is so varied and the insignia colors don’t seem to match. I would also change the moving atom’s or proton’s halo (for lack of a better name) around the ring to a color other than pink.

@Rozenstal(35): I like the lighting effects, particularly the sky, but his pose seems a little stiff. I’d try maybe bending the legs or moving him to a more upright position… I’m not sure what you were going for but it seems almost like he’s about to fall on his side. I’m sorry but that is really throwing me off….

Watson Bradshaw (21): A hand-drawn character, huzzah! He should have a Kevin Bacon-inspired enemy named “Footloose”.

I like the metal banding and bolts on his chest, and the shading in the metal boots. The screw arm is cool, too, it’s a neat effect and looks good.

The areas that I think need a little work are, first, his right (our left) fist. It just needs to be scaled up more vertically — it looks too flattened.

Second, that whole arm looks like it’s been separated from the torso and bolted into the covering metal shoulder pad. Whenever I have an area like this where part of the body is covered completely, I draw the figure without anything on it first to make sure all the bits meet where they’re supposed to.

Finally, the top of his head needs to be a bit larger. It might be that the screw top helmet creates an illusion that more of the skull is missing than it really is, but either way he looks a little cranially challenged, if you see what I mean.

Still, a good drawing and a neat character, thanks so much for sharing it!

headless general (23): Neat! A very bold and cool looking effect you’ve achieved here, I really like it. I appreciate the little touches like the different colored glows reflecting off the wall, in addition to the big stuff like the great custom shield, expression, and overall pose. Great stuff!! You’ve managed to pull off a nice looking, convincing scene here.

You might think about changing the red on the atomic energy effect to white; having no other red in the scene, and then this one part being an outline, it sort of looks out of place. I think white would pop more and fit in with the rest of the image better at the same time.

His butt also looks a little large … I’m sure that’s a vestige of having to rotate the legs, but it really is kind of bulbous. Maybe he had one too many cupcakes on patrol, that can happen to the best of us.

Finally, I’m not a huge fan of the helmet. I think it’d actually be a stronger image without it.

Great job, give yourself a pat on the back for this one, it’s really good!

MMI (30): Looks great! I like the patterning of the leather, that’s a nice touch. The shading’s great, the construction is just right, and the design overall works well. I think the proportions are fine.

Here’s another goblin, this one named MacGlennroy. He is a monk, with Radiant Fist as his obvious paragon path.

His story is that he is the great-great-grandson of Matron Brenna, the current queen of the Goblin nation of Dinburra (while no one knows how long a goblin lives due to no record of a natural goblin death, Goblins are known to reach adulthood at around 4 or 5 years of age, thus explaining how his great-great-grandmother is still alive to rule Dinburra), but he rejects the noble lifestyle that this would give him by birth. Instead, he is an ascetic, preferring to wander the forests and caves near the Dinburra territory. He is considered strange by the other goblins, but also highly respected for his wisdom. In fact, it is MacGlennroy who convinced the other Dinburra Goblins to accept Skivuld, the previously-posted Goblin character, as one of them.

Currently, I’m using him in my campaign as sort of a “guardian” for the party, as his connection to the gods allows him to be an agent of fate.

Tarkabarka (43/44) I like the pose which helps the characeter show a defiant attitude.

I would suggest simplifying the image. There is an awful lot going on with lots of gear, multiple tattoos, shorts covered by a gypsi belt and a regular belt, etc. etc. I think a little simplification would go a long way to reduce distraction.

Rozenstal (35): I like it! Very striking use of angles and colors to get a dramatic effect. The setting is really good, and I like the character design very much.

I’ll agree with one of the other commenters, though, and say that given the dynamic thrust of the figure, the pose and some of the items seem awfully stiff. Specifically, the character’s left side (the viewer’s right side) seems off — if he’s leaning that far over, why is his trench coat so straight? It seems like that leg would be bent, and the coat would be either draped over it or tucked behind it, also flared out like the other side.

You’ve done a lot of great things with the rest of the body, angling the shoulders and the hips a bit and using the nice curve of the upper, open part of the coat to add movement, but his left side sort of spoils the effect.

Still, it’s one of those that makes me go “WOW” when I open it, so I mean it when I say it’s really good!

Oh, just for some background on my pic, it was the first time that I had tried to do multiple figures in one pic (where they dominated the pic, at least), and I paid more attention to placement and line flow than in the past.

OK, what we have here is Xipilli, an Aztec Eagle Warrior shot through time as Cortez was whipping out his people, he is now a super hero with a new team and is in love, and while watching loads of Science Channel, Discovery Channel and History Channel his girlfriend decides to watch a movie with him for entertainment and not research, before she knows it … he’s re-enacting the underwear scene from Risky Buisness.

I am pretty proud of this. It’s another exorcise in shading. I did add shade to his bent elbow, but HM3 froze and I wasnt even able to save it i the files at all or even get a screencap of the changes..

At least I had saved the JPG once,
which is how I could tell I had forgot the elbow originally.

(11) Dionne Jinn: I ran into that kneeling-leg issue myself recently. It’s a tricky thing to do. My suggestions are to angle the lower legs up, so they don’t look oddly broken, and to get creative in how you represent the shoes so that they portray the correct angle. It’s tough, since you’re likely going to show the show from an odd side view, or even the soles. Look at various body parts and other items in new ways. (I actually used two forearms to be the bottom soles of slippers!)

Just so people don’t’ve to scroll thru, I’ll put the whole narrative here.
This morning I put up thishttp://www.personbear.com/croquet/calendar/4-Apr.jpg )
and without coat herehttp://s1.hubimg.com/u/1577620_f520.jpg
Jeff said he liked the coat, and I agree, but of course there are problems. I agree it’s hard to tell what’s going on with her bottom half, and others had some good suggestions, which I’ll get to below. He also said the right hand doesn’t work, and I agree. I kept trying to convynce myself that it worked, but something has to be done.

Tarkabarka (43/44): One thing that’s completely thrown me off is the ear, and I think it’s because it’s too high on her head. I went to check it out in the mirror and found the top of my ear is about the same level as my eye, and the middle of my ear is close to level with my nose. I realize she’s an elf, with long pointed ears, but you have the middle of her ear at eye level, I think you should lower it about 2 pixels.

Tarkabarka (43/44): My problem is with all the black on or around the face. You have the star tattoo, the tribal tattoo and the black scarf. For me the scarf and the tribal in particular seem to blend together. Maybe if you change the color of the tribal or give it some outline or change the color of the scarf… something to make those three elements seem separate. Maybe if the hair came under her jawline and over the scarf… just throwing out ideas here…

Whit/55:
Three characters and a composition, so there’s a lot to say here…
Aglaea: I keep getting flummoxed by there not being a hand-on-hip hand. I’ve used eight ovals before, four as fingers, four as fingernails, but it is tricky. Any way I like her, but that weird hand she has doesn’t look like it’s connected correctly, and I’m not sure it could. Also, her shoes might be too modern. Finally, she has an Amazonian way about her (tho perhaps her right arm is too scrawny, comparatively?) but she must be super-huge to be on the bad of the disc and still be that much bigger than Euphrosyne (whose name is misspelt).
Euphrosyne’s face and arms look manly, tho I’m not sure why… maybe the chin? And perhaps lower the arms down a bit?
As for Thalia, I can’t interpret her top. As it is now it looks like she has one breast each in crossed ladles! I think that top has a connecting piece… somewhere. Her face could be nudged a few pixels to the right, based on the way her nose is pointing and the one earring, and perhaps her face should be covering her hair?
Compositionally, I’d say move Thalia down to halfway; the way it is now, Euphrosyne looks a little left out.
I do like the extra paradigms thrown in: Not only the three graces, but also the three primary colors (RGB) and the blonde/redhead/brunette trifecta. Character-wise, I think Euphrosyne is good for mirth and Aglaea certainly has splendor. I do think Thalia could use a little more good cheer!

Tarkabarka (43): I like the general idea of the character and the overall scene. The scarf belt over the blue jean skirt with combat boots is a good urban-warrior kind of look.

I agree with one of the other commenters that there’s kind of a lot going on, especially around the face, and it becomes a bit difficult to distinguish what’s going on. The tattoo there in particular obscures more than it illuminates — try making it either a lighter color or adjust the transparency downward.

Jadebrain (51): My favorite one so far! I love the eye painted onto the headband, the embroidery on that one pant leg, the simple but cool pose, the kilt, the tabard, the colors, all of it. Really nicely done.

I want to say that the overcoat part somehow looks a little plain, but I can’t think of what to do to it to improve it. Maybe some kind of pattern, like maybe the dirt? I dunno … not a huge deal, he looks great as-is.

Panner (22) and Jeff (34) I actually tried to do something about the eyes (after resolving the panic that followed the realisation that I had actually done my picture with the “Undo test version”), but it only got worse. Instead I think I was able to nail that problem with the background. Also improved the legs a bit. How does it looks now?

Whit (55): I like it over all, I think the poses are good and the arrangement of the figures works. I like the banners with their names, that’s a nice touch. I think I like Aglaea the best of the three in terms of the pose and overall look, although the face and head seem a little puffy. I like her belt and loincloth affair a lot.

The main area of concern for me is the Euprhosyne figure. The face doesn’t work for me for some reason, maybe it’s the white above the eyes or the small nose or the open mouth … something about her makes me feel a little creeped out. Her earrings are a little rough as well, and while I applaud your effort with the feet, they end up looking flat and squashed.

I probably could also have used something besides the dark blue plain background. A gradient, glow effect, or some lighter color would help. They are kind of dominated by it at the moment as the blue is so much stronger than any of the other colors the ladies are wearing.

Hope that helps. It’s a really good arrangement and I do like the other two Graces.

Cliff (58): Nice! I can tell it crapped out on you as there a few unfinished details, but man, the meat of it (so to speak — ahem) looks really good! The shadows work great and I think the silhouetted flowers are a great addition.

His arms look a little long in proportion to his legs, but that’s fairly minor. I think you pulled off a great effect here!

At this point I think you’re close to being done. The only thing I can think to suggest is to maybe make the color of the surrounding background elements have more brown in them — the current orangish color is a little too close to the orange of her dress for me.

Kaldath (69): Nice posing! They look good together. The blue of his armor complements the brown of her leathers nicely. I also really like the simple background colors — there’s enough there to set the scene without being overpowering.

Her right hand doesn’t quite work, as there’s no way the wrist could bend back on itself like that, but of course that’s a limitation of the program. No good hand in that pose, really. I do like his hand on her thigh, that works.

I can’t think of much to suggest for improvements, it’s good as-is. Oh, I’m not crazy about the gray cloud in the sky, but I don’t know what to do to fix it. Black maybe? A silhouetted moon? I dunno. That’s a nitpick though.

Aaron (71): He looks good! Nice simple pose and outfit with nothing fancy to distract from the character, who’s well conceived and well executed.

I’d echo the other commenters and suggest an ear or two. They come in handy for holding up glasses if nothing else.

Also, the color of the back of the coat (the part you see between the legs) bothers me. That all needs to be darker than the rest of the coat and the pants. Right now the legs sort of get lost in everything going on down there.

@Kaldath (69): Picking up on Jeff’s comment, maybe you could try masking that right hand of hers so that only the fingers show and then use some combination of insignias to flesh it out a little.. make the hand look more 3Dish…

https://picasaweb.google.com/McknightHC/HeroCorpsStuff#5582924958368564034
This character is named McKnight, the main protagonist in my (hopefully) up-coming comic series, Hero Corps. Let me know what you think about the costume, whether about functionality, basic looks or whatever you can think of. Not sure If I want an emblem, please give me any thoughts you have on that.

@Jeff and Me, Myself & I: I didn’t notice it until you both mentioned it, but the pink atom outline color did look a bit out of sync with the rest of the picture. I changed it to white and it looks much better so, thanks. I also lost the helmet. As for the big butt I think i’m just gonna chalk that up to too many cupcakes. Thanks again, guys.

McKnight57 (82): I’d have to know more about the character before I could say a lot about how he might work in a story, as genre, setting, and narrative goals have a huge influence on that stuff. I mean, what works for Spider-Man totally would not work for Superman, but both are great, you know?

Just looking at this as a standalone image and character design, my main concern is with the mask. How do you get lips that mobile on one of those? The material looks really thick judging by the eye openings. Basically it looks almost like he’s been painted red, but then you have that vertical line and the eye holes, and it’s leaving me a bit confused.

I don’t see an insignia on that metal breastplate, I think you’re right to not have one.

I feel like there ought to be red somewhere other than on the periphery of the costume, though. Right now it’s on the feet, hands, and head, but nowhere in the middle. That probably shouldn’t bug me but it does.

Anyway, that’s all I can come up with at the moment. It’s cool that you’re wanting to do your own series, though, good luck with it!

https://picasaweb.google.com/McknightHC/HeroCorpsStuff#5582244559387770338
This is the devil, yes, the actual devil will be in the comic. Anyway, if you could let me know what you think of the costume, the skin tone, or the mask, just let me know. Even if you have any questions about how he’ll fit in, just let me know. Any feedback you can give is appreciated and i will answer questions about this or any other character in as timely a manner as I can.

SeanDavidRoss (85): Ha! I love his look, like “Yeah, that was me. No biggie.”

I think in general on the coloring of the background, you should avoid warm colors like brighter reds, yellows, oranges, and such, and instead stay in the cool blues, purples, and blacks. For instance in front of the VW Bug you have a patch of peach ground — I’d change that to black.

The problem with whiting out the background is that yes, it makes the figure pop more, but the background is a major part of why this image exists. Without that, it’s just a guy leaning on a hammer. WITH it, he’s a guy leaning on a hammer who just destroyed a city block. The challenge is not to de-emphasize the background as it is in some other images I’ve commented on, in this case the challenge is to integrate it into the overall composition.

I’d go with a darker sky and I’d lose the line color of it — let the star splotches be their own thing without hemming them in with the lines. And I’d do something besides that peach-like Color2 on the main figure; it’s got enough red in it that it’s struggling against the red in the rest of the figure. Maybe an ivory or a bronze type of color?

Finally, the colors of the smoke in the background are a little off-putting. I’d stick with your basic grayish smoke.

Neat concept! I like it quite a bit. It’s hard to get attitude from an illustration but you’ve definitely accomplished it here in spades.

To answer the question of the mask, I’m seeing it like THE MASK, the Jim Carrey Movie, where it conforms to the face on its own. No powers, but he does have some crazy skills. Here is the background you were wondering about as well.

McKnight – Michael Alan Colt, or MAC, was born in 1750 near Rome, Georgia. He was the first person from the Navy chosen to help form the United States Marine Corps in 1775 and has since fought in every American war, always serving as a Marine. He has fought alongside General Washington and the Swamp Fox, as well as Generals Lee and Grant, Eisenhower and “Chesty”. He is a professor of History at the Naval Postgraduate School, specifically in military history, which is a two-part class, split into 2 semesters. He has quite a bit of knowledge on Medieval history as well as the Roman and British Empires in particular. He is a fierce combatant,skilled acrobat and expert in all sorts of weapons though he prefers blades and pistols. He has also spent time with the Creek Indians of North Georgia as well as the Anasazi or Ancient Pueblo peoples of the Four Corners region of the South West. After Vietnam, an officer actually witnessed him “come back to life” after being shot by a sniper. He quickly sedated McKnight and got him into the government program that would study him. After 8 months of being studied, poked, prodded and stuck with needles, he escaped. During Vietnam he was experimented on, given that he cannot die and has a healing factor (though not quite as efficient as that of Wolverine but almost to the level of Deadpool’s) his mental capacity was boosted, making him a genius.After so much torture in the name of science, he was somewhat scarred psychologically. Thus, while he is a bit crazy at times (and realizing that he is in fact in a comic book), he is also a genius in many respects, with a great memory and knowledge retention. In his last stretch with the Marine Corps, he was in the Criminal Investigation Division (CID) and the mentor of another member of the Hero Corps, Frank Marion, a descendant of the Swamp Fox and a Civil War soldier. He is currently a respected historian and professor of History at California State University of Monterey Bay (CSUMB.) Most of his classes, however are online with one Friday course that he teaches in regard to military history.

Vampyrist (93): Very nice! The two of them together look great. I like that her blade is gold while his is silver (iron, gray, steel, whatever), it makes them stand out well. The pose works, too, very convincing.

I like his blade but after looking at it for a bit, I realized I didn’t quite understand what’s going on with it. Is it strapped to the inside of his wrist? But then the blade is on the opposite side as if it came out of the back of his hand. Or maybe the guard is on the underside but wraps around to allow the blade to attach? I dunno.

I’m not crazy about the background element. I think it’s a much stronger image without it — just removed completely.

I also think you need a slightly lighter color either for the black part of his hair or its line color. It’s hard to tell where the mask ends and where the hair begins.

But, a great image and one of the nicer couples I’ve seen. I mean, not “nice”, since they look like they’d take out a division, but “Nicely composed”.

As for the contest, I’d seen that one before, hadn’t I? I remember really liking it. It didn’t make it into the Finalist folder before getting left off, as sometimes happens, I can say that, but without going back through every entry I can’t tell you how close it was. I can say it’s a great image, though.

This is a tarot card, six of pentacles to be exact. You know how pentacles usually represent the physical body and material possessions? Well, in my version they represent man’s struggle against nature, usually ending with swift and bloody death.

Notice how all the animals except the monkey want to see the hunter dead. Even though it brings the monkey to tears, he remains passive and doesn’t help the hunter. This could symbolize the power of peer pressure or the conflict one feels when two of one’s friends are fighting.

Hi, guys! I’m just stopping in to share some of the changes I made, since last week, to my Orc Bar Wench character. I’ve been busy: I’ve adjusted the colors, her facial features (esp. her eyes), virtually replaced her lower half, and FINALLY figured out what to do with her hands!
I’ve yet to come up with a suitable setting or background, but I kind of like the expression I gave her, like her customers are out of their minds. And to the latter end, here are some possible captions/dialogue:
“You want me to HOLD ye chickens?”
“PIGLET: Ye Olde Bar Wench”

I gotta say Mr. Chris I love the character, but the background is way too dark. I suggest making the sky dark red instead of black which will bring out your character’s legs more, but still give you the spooky dark look your going for. I do love the skeletons and ghosts well done.

McKnight57 (82): I had one major thing that bothered me about it. The ankles looked somehow way WAAAAAY too thin. After playing with it I know that that is the way Jeff drew them but… Anyway, incorporating what he said about the red (and I agree) and taking care of the ankles, I actually like the mask the way it is. Anyway, I did this for you to see both changes:https://picasaweb.google.com/ricardo.m.almeida/Stuff#5582945629535714114

In case you like those “ankles” better, those are the first boot tops from the second screen, second row on FootRight masked to a square insignia (invisible) to get rid of the top part.

This is a difficult one to critique, as it’s for such an unusual purpose. Having said that, there’s an awful lot of detail that I think would be hard to see on a card. And the upper half seems a lot more real than the very abstract lower half (with the exception of the figure). That clash of styles might mean something, like the hunter comes out of a sea of ideas or something, but just visually speaking it’s a bit off-putting.

@Panner(95): I think the illustration is just awesome. However in the context of a deck of cards, for me, it’s missing some kind of frame to tie it into a deck. I mean, if you have done others, and just post them all for us to see WITHOUT saying it’s a deck of cards I’d never see it. Hope that helps… Otherwise really cool. Love that red moon.

This is a fascinating idea for using the program, and I congratulate you on having used that “withered tree” background more effectively than I have (the “reflection” in the ice is particularly effective).

I do think that the eye is drawn to the top half more (perhaps due to the divergence in color scheme?) and in particular, is inclined to overlook the pentacles (which are REAL subtle), in favor of those creepy-looking animals (who are assembled very well, by the way, except that the chimp’s eye-color is different).

I’d suggest carefully modulating the color of the trees’ backlighting, the ice, and the moon, to be more generally consistent, while still trying to keep them from blending into each other (like the moon & the trees so); this WILL be tricky. Brightening the “hunter” up will make him/her more visible, and I urge you to experiment with more eye colors for the animals, even if you come back to what you’re using now, so that we don’t overdose on red.

This is an image I submitted to the Aquarius contest, but since that is not long and past I was just wondering what kind of feed back I would get on it. I love the image because it is peaceful but I’m wounding if I should have done more. . . Oh well.

unknownblackpaper (109): I think it’s lovely, absolutely. The pose of the body, the flowing clothing, the overlay of water, it’s all very good. I said earlier that getting a mood out of an illustration is very difficult and you’ve definitely done that here.

For me, frankly, the thing that would keep this from being a winner or in the final tier of Finalists is the line of the water overlay. It needs to be knocked down to like 10-20% alpha. Right now it sort of destroys the illusion of water and instead looks more like a net.

That’s pretty much it. I really think changing that one thing is all this needs to be truly stellar, even though as-is it’s really really good.

Nick (96): Looks good, she’s believable as a half orc barmaid. I have to say though that her hands look a little on the small side. It could just be me though.

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Jeff (99): I’m actually glad you noticed it, I wanted the bottom half, with the human, to represent the human world – calm and uniform. The top half behind the animals represents the brutal wilderness – chaotic and unreliable. The wilderness is kept out of the human world, but it can still cast looming shadows.

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Worf (101): Thanks, that’s not a bad idea. I’ll try adding a frame and maybe a big ‘VI’ somewhere, that should hammer it home.

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Nick (103): Thanks for the feedback, I couldn’t help but look into this immediately. I made the moon darker and removed its black lines, I think it’s better separated from the trees now. I also toned down the overall redness. I have to say, I like the new moon a lot more, the color adjustments are, well, I’m not sure. So yeah, thanks!

Ok everyone, I’m pretty wiped out, so I’m going to close this edition of OCD. If you all want to keep discussing what’s been posted so far or adding new ones for each other, go for it, it’s just me that’s bowing at at this point.

I’d like to agree with Nick (107) about your ability to keep up with the posts this week. OCD has become particularly active the last two weeks, and it was already a fairly active weekly feature here.

Jeff (78): If it’s a matter of contrast, I would probably rather go with a lighter color for the wood elements in my background. I’m trying to make it ironically bright and cheery looking, despite the fact that she’s likely just been sampling a batch of Botullism that she’s been cultivating.

Dionne Jinn (75): Nice spooky background you’ve created.

Nick (95): if there was one comment I wish I had made last week, it was that Piglet didn’t appear “beastly” enough for a half-orc. Tusks and snout aside, she looked like someone I wouldn’t be uncomfortable bringing home to meet my parents. The simple changee you made this week (especially the mouth selection) sell her inhuman background better.

@Panner (112):
It’s coming along very well! The changes to the moon are very good, and the surface looks much more real now. At the same time, you’ve managed to add a “cooler” color to the mix, esp. the ice, and yet it looks more consistent! That’s tough.
Keep tinkering with the backlighting; remember that it’s a rather subtle kind of glow. That, however, is my only firm suggestion now.

@Tuldabar (116)
Aw, backstories are half the fun! go easy on yourself, will ya?;-)
Meanwhile, good work with the character’s skin tone, and with assembling the lightsaber. Try to create a little more contrast between his skin and the Sith lightning, though.

Thanks again, Jeff, and enjoy your evening. For the rest of you who commented on Piglet, thank you. I lucked out almost right away, stumbling upon the right mouth entirely by accident. I *am* still working on small details like her hands and feet, though: mostly, they’re sized as they are in order to blend with her wrist joints neatly. I *have* seen a naturally muscular (and quite cute) girl with meaty wrists and small hands, but I gave Piglet such damn huge FEET that they don’t match up (which is probably what you noticed). I’ll keep tinkering.

I’m not sure that he’s still reading, but I’ve wondered about that: it would allow for the making of much larger, panoramic pictures. Or maybe we *can* use it that way, and we just don’t know the procedure yet…..

@Tuldabar (116): Jeff is out for the day, but I’ll take a crack at it… First I gotta ask, is that red and black “mark” on his right shoulder (our left) supposed to be a tattoo? If so it somehow seems too flat and also it should be under the “shirt”… maybe a little darker red…

The tattoo on his torso bleeds onto the armpit and seems to need “something”… maybe repositioning it? a little farther to the right (his left) so we can see more of it?

Also, the scratches on his arm… the lowest one seems somehow out of place… It’s like this, unless he was scratched when his arm was exactly in that position they’d not line up like that and it makes it look weird… I know that unless there were some “single” scratch for you to mask there, there’s not much to do with that item, but….

The good thing is that those are all details, overall it’s a very strong picture. The background, his outfit, his blue skin with the highlights all work very well.

I actually came up with an idea for a Power Rangers-like TEAM of characters, which I would have needed widescreen mode to pull off. But like I said, I may be missing something obvious; I’ve never used widescreen much.

Invisiboy (131): Check out the first page of Tops-FemaleDresses, you might be able to make one of those work, with some modifications. Other than that, I’d really like to have different colors on the wings and clothes since they are adjacent, but to be honest I don’t think any other color than white would fit either. You might be able to separate them using shoulderpads, but I’m not sure it would fit the character.

Invisiboy (131): I concur with the suggestion to look at Female-Dresses; there arelots of relatively Greco-Roman-looking items there. The only trick is fitting them onto a male character. However, I DISagree that the colors have to be white: back in Medieval art, there was plenty of precedent for showing angels in many colors… and in then-contemporary clothing. So, you might want to consider some very simple, medieval or Biblical-inspired outfits, like a simple tunic or loincloth. Otherwise, you may wind up giving the character a sex change: cruel fate!!!

My only real suggestion, since I don’t know quite what effect you’re aiming for, is that wings on his feet are superfluous when he has them on his back. You might try a pair of sandals, instead.

Panner (95)–
I so love that you went with a tarot card! I’ve been wanting to do the same thing but I know very little about the symbolism of tarot. If you’re on the UGO message board, I’ll try to hunt you up there so we can talk more about this.

I agree with Jeff that most of this detail–esp the tear on the ape–would be lost if shrunk down to card size. Also, it took me a minute to realise that the shadows on the bottom were shadows of the trees. The way you did it would work better as a reflection. I’d stretch out the shadows vertically, as they’re lying against the ground, and would stretch out quite far with the kind of lighting you illustrate.

Whit (134): I’m currently working on finishing the entire suit of pentacles, and you’ll definitely be seeing that up on the forums as soon as it’s done. That might take a while though, I’m having a really hard time coming up with good motives.

And yeah, there are small details, but I’m not planning on printing this to actual cards (or do I…) it’s just for fun. I’ll likely only do the pentacles suit, plus maybe some cards from Swords that I have a few ideas for.

Asder (136): I really like it. The lack of black lines really gives your art a distinctive style. The picture itself looks very anime-esque, like Tenchi Muyo. Not sure if that’s what you were going for, but that is what I’m seeing.

@Mr.Chris (18): Sorry, dude, I went away for a while. How rude when you’ve asked me a question.
So it’s an opening in the ground, obviously. In Backgrounds-Standard, right near where you got your tombstones, are some holes in a wall (actually they seem to be plaster smashed off of brick). Rotate them into place and stretch them into narrow cracks, add some judicious coloring, and boom, instant yawning graves. Problem might be getting the skeleton to look like it’s coming out from inside, but I’ll bet there’s a way.

It is certainly POSSIBLE to have the widescreen interface still active, at least for dragging things around. But that wasn’t how it was intended, it’s supposed to just be an uncluttered “see it all” kind of peek. I’d have to bring forward all the tool buttons, which would then make it not that kind of uncluttered view at all.

Plus, it would hide the ad (whenever we get an ad), which I am sure UGO would not like very much.

Regarding traffic, my little corner of the UGO world is barely noticeable, I’m afraid. They value how dedicated you guys are, but overall we’re a fairly tiny blip.

Which is kind of nice, because that leaves us free to do whatever we like!

@ aaron (153): If I may elaborate on your idea of open critique weekend, how I might do it (luckily it is not really my problem), would be to have people posting their pictures and comments on friday and saturday. You could keep commenting and posting re-doings till sunday, but new posts would not be taken in. I don’t know if that would work, but just a thought.

Blackjack (157) I think you might be right regarding the colors. I think less would be more in this case. There are a lot of layers and depth in this image but it seems more two dimensional because of the colors. If you reduce the number of colors and make the objects different layers different hues (Eg. darker in the back, lighter in the front) it would help make the layers pop some more.