Geez. What a day. I had been taking antidepressents for 10+ years until about a month ago. I also take Ritalin for ADD everyday which I don't have a problem with. I went off Zoloft (150 mg) per day back in December 2007. I just felt like it wasn't effective anymore. Discontinuing Zoloft and going onto Cymbalta-that was a real joy. Holidays, switching meds-not a good mix. Anyway, went on Cymbalta up to the max of 60 mg per day-according to the literature in the manufacturer's "sample" box, which the doc gave to me for free-what a chap! Was on Cymbalta for 4 months until I realized I was getting very mean, impatient and wanting to just lash out at anyone/anything who offended me in the smallest way. So, I went off of it after I went to pick it up on a Sat. at the doc's and they were all gone 10 mins. early! What a nightmare. I'm not sure if I was detoxing from 10+ years on antidepressants or what but the withdrawl symptoms were excruciating. Its been a little over a month now and I'm still feeling very quick tempered, impatient and the depresseion hits me about every two weeks-real good. I mean-wanna check out, see ya later good. This is sooooo frustrating. I wanted to try the no anti-depressant way of life-better diet, exercise, spending time with family/friends. The side effects of no meds was sooooooo awful. I still have this lighheadedness at times. I also have like this twitch-like an electric shock-someone had mentioned on this forum. It made me realize how all-encompassing these drugs are and how powerful they are on the central nervous system-almost too spooky for me. Now I know why it is sooooo difficult for anyone with an addiction problem to quit. I just don't know what to do. I don't want to be on antidepressants. It took me soooo long to accept that I needed them. It's so demoralizing. Now I just feel like I'm frustrated, short-tempered and angry all the time. My Ritalin keeps me going and on-focus but I'm fearful about my mood swings. My mother has diagnosed me with bi-polar. I'm a pretty happy go lucky person when my meds are right and this is sooooo hard on me right now. I get angry at the littlest things. I get overwhelmed. Then I get very, very sad-suicidal sad a couple of times a month. I have no insurance. I work for myself. My only way to see a psychiatrist is through a local non-profit where I HAVE to go through counseling again (been there, done that) and will be able to see their psychiatrist in about 3 months. My regualr doctor is no help. I think he just hands out the latest and greatest-whatever the reps are shoving in front of them-hence the Cymbalta. Any comments/suggestions?

Welcome to Healing Well. I think that it is good that you came here. I have to say though by reading your post, it really sounds like you need the medications. It sounds like you were doing better with than without. No mood swings or irritablilty.

Taking meds is something we all wish that we didn't have to do. But we seem to need them. The same with therapy, though I enjoy going to mine, I always feel better afterwards.

Don't feel bad that you need medication and therapy, I think a lot of us do. And it is nothing to feel bad or embarrassed about. Depression is a disease and we can't help it if we are suffering from it.

I hope that this helps you some and I hope that you feel better and keep posting. There are a ton of wonderful members here with a lot of kindness and compassion.

Thanks Karen. Seen a program on PBS last night on depression-DEPRESSION: Out of the Shadows.

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/takeonestep/depression/about.html

I hope its okay to post the link to this show. It has great information and resources and it shows real people of various ages, races, socioeconomic levels dealing with depression. It just starated airing May 21, 2008 according to the PBS website. I was laying in bed, sleeping off and on and avoiding turning off the tv and lights and discovered it was on. I'm so glad I hadn't turned to tv off yet. May have given me the jump start I needed to approach new treatment and new meds again!

Think it was one segment of many on depresssion. This show is so great and so informative to those who struggle with it and family and friends of those individuals. I recommend everyone check their local PBS schedule and watch or tape it. It helped me feel not so "alone" and stigmatized. It confirmed for me, again, I am not the only one who feels this sad, blue and hopeless about life at times. I'm not the only one who feels so debilitated at times. One of the numerous types of depression they mentioned was the one I was originally diagnosed with and talked about the treatment for it. Think I'm going to go to my local non-profit mental health agency and start over. That program made me realize how much stress impacts those with depression also. It immobilizes me. I get so overwhelmed and can't do anything. I don't know where to start. I just have to walk away.

Again, thanks for the help and would appreciate it if you could post the show info in a general area for everyone. I think it would help a lot of people.

Thank you for posting the link. I am happy that you got so much out of the show. I will watch for it on PBS.

I am so happy that you are feeling better about your situation. We all have times where we feel the way that you do. But the more you are on this forum, the less alone you will feel. It is good to know that you aren't the only one going through the symptoms of depression and having to take meds for it.

I am also glad that you are going to hook up with the mental health program that you are talking about. It is a good start. And I hope that they are of help to you.