January 22, 2012

Ant #29. Alone or with somebody?

I haven't been in relationships (in normal relationships) for so long.
I even cannot remember when I was in them for the last time. I guess 3 years ago.
It doesn't mean I had noone, of course I had a few partners. I had girls, boys, even married couple. But they meant nothing for me. I never told them these 3 words "I love you". Never.

You would ask me, what's hard in these simple words? Yes, I easily can tell my friends or parents that I love them, but I cannot tell anybody them if I don't believe I'd give my life for this person.

There are not more persons than fingers on my hand who heard "I love you" from me. And I proud of me 'cause these words from my mouth never turned into the trash.

So now what? I'm single again and I'm opened to the world. I can look around and see all the amazing people who really love me. I know them. They haven't gone.

And I ask myself once again. Do I have to look for someone special (maybe a few years like it was the last time) or should I be more ordinary? Give me the answer. This is a lifetime question.