I went into parenting with eyes wide open.
I always knew that it was not going to be a pampers commercial.
I always knew the first year of life would be the easiest, the less amount of parenting.
I knew once toddlers were here, the rough of it all was quick to follow.
The making decision.
The actual parenting.
Decision that would impact you, impact how you viewed the world.
The talking,
the talking back,
the walking,
the running,
the running away,
the tantrums,
the sass.
I knew I would trade it bottles for time outs.
I knew I would trade in diapers for frustration.
I knew that the longer hours I got to sleep, the more tire I would be,
I knew that exhaustion came with the deal.

But, my biggest surprise was how much good there is.
My biggest surprise is finding my childhood,
in you.
My second chance, wrapped up in little.
My biggest surprise is how much I love this.
God, I love being a mom, I adore being your mom.
I thought all of it would be "have tos" and there are many of those.
I thought all of it would be heartache, and there is plenty of that.
I thought all of it would be fear
and worry
and anxiety
and concern.
Yes, there is much of that.

Who would have guessed there would be this much love?
Who would have known that I love to watch you sleep?
Who would have known that I would fall in love, harder, every day.
Who would have guessed all of the pride?
Who would have guessed all of the traditions?
Who would have known I needed you?
Who would have realized that you saved me?

It's such a surprise.
I love loving you.
I love being your mom.
Thank you for the surprise of my life.