3.28.2008

Now that it's almost April I suppose I should talk a little bit about the past couple of months which have just seemed to fly by. We've managed to keep pretty busy as of late. Mom came to visit in mid-February and we had such a great time. We got a lot of stuff done around the house and took time to have some fun, too. Of course I think I gained a few more pounds having Mom here because she spent a lot of time in the kitchen baking lots of goodies that pregnant girl couldn't control herself around but that's okay. Now is a good time to gain a few pounds anyway, right;)? I also have to say how lucky Jeremy and I were because he didn't clean the cat litter the whole time Mom was here and I didn't do the dishes! Talk about spoiling us! It was so nice having her here but lonely now that she's gone:) My friend Tracy and I have talked about how being pregnant and starting a family makes you miss your own family even more and boy is it true. I didn't realize how hard this part would be. Trace went through the same thing as she got pregnant shortly after she moved out here and away from her parents. I suppose it makes you appreciate the time you do spend together though even more...and look forward to it more as well. That's the most positive thing I can say about being afar. As Forrest Gump would say, "and that's all I have to say about that..." **sigh** :)

Here's a pic of me and Baby Girl. This was a couple weeks ago so I'm a little bigger now but haven't taken a recent picture. I'll try to update soon:) I was about 23 weeks in this picture and I'm now 25 weeks. I look angry in the picture but I assure you that I am really quite delighted. I am just trying to be cool. Only three more weeks to go and we'll begin the 3rd trimester. It's hard to believe we'll be meeting our new little Holmanian in just a few months!

I also participated in an art project by a local Portland photographer last month called 'Skeletons in the Closet'. Check it out at http://www.fritzphoto.com/art/ If you go to the website, make sure to click on the introduction to read what it's about before you go through the pictures. My picture and story aren't up yet but I'll keep you posted. It is a grant-funded work featuring men and women who currently (or at one time in their lives) have struggled with eating disorders. As soon as I saw his work I knew I wanted to participate in it but it took me a lot of time to get up the courage to do it. As some of you may know, I used to be anorexic/bulimic. I wanted to participate in this project for a couple of reasons. I wanted to "come out" so to speak and tell my story because I think that hearing about someone's healing process can be extremely healing to others whom are still struggling. I also wanted to revisit my own body issues and I felt like this was a really powerful way to begin this process. Both to praise myself for how far I've come and to remind myself that I still have a lot more work to do when it comes to truly loving my body. I'm hoping to hang one of my pictures up somewhere where I can look at it every day to remind myself to not be so damn critical when I look in the mirror. I think being pregnant has really made me think about the issues surrounding our body images a great deal. And being pregnant while doing the photo shoot was even more meaningful because I am developing a deeper respect for my body each day for everything that it is currently going through. I can't say that I'm not having a hard time with my body changes and gaining weight but I can also say that it's helping me to view my body in a different way. In a "Women are so awesome! We are freaking SUPERHEROS" kind of way! You ladies know what I mean!

I have to run now but I'll post more soon. I have to put all the pictures up from Mom's visit and Jeremy and my 3rd anniversary trip, which I have yet to talk about! Man, was I ever behind on the blogging! I miss you all so much and love you to pieces! Drop me a line, I'm lonely out here in the big woods!

2 comments:

Indeed, our bodies are so complex and amazing...so they certainly need to be treated with the utmost care, respect, and love. And then, when you think of your own body sheltering the growing life of another little being, it's more than amazing...it's truly a miracle.

I think you're brave to face your own "Skeletons in the Closet" by participating in this art project, especially since you'll soon have your own little girl to guide through all the intricacies and difficulties of growing up.

I really admire you for sharing your story. I think accepting yourself is a hard place to get to even into adulthood. The fact that you are willing to open up and talk about it will be a gift (I think) to someone going through those same difficulties and even a gift to one who may be trying to understand what their loved one is going through.