Are You An Alpha Male Or A Bully?

Are You An Alpha Male - Or Just A Bully?

Two guys both work at the same corporation. Both are in middle management. Both are decisive, and both seem confident. But one is an Alpha Male, and the other is a Bully.

How can you tell the difference? Is it possible you yourself are one or the other and don't even realize it? Why should you even care?

Well, to be perfectly blunt about it, true Alpha Male guys almost invariably end up with the most desirable women. Women almost always look for Alpha guys for fun and, also, for long-term relationships and even marriage. But a Bully, although he may succeed for a while, will eventually show his true colors, and that gorgeous woman who fell for him initially dumps him and goes off to find a genuine Alpha Male.

Another reason to pay attention: Alpha Males are true leaders. Most Bullies are actually cowards hiding behind an aggressive facade. An Alpha Male is a problem solver. A Bully causes the problem. Which one do you think is more likely to get promoted to a higher position at his job?

For these two reasons alone, it may be worth your while to decide if you are a Bully or an Alpha Male. Let's look at each of them at work:

Scene One:

At a staff meeting chaired by a Bully, a junior staffer makes a blunder in his presentation. The Bully ridicules him, calls him stupid, tells him loudly he may not be on the team much longer if he doesn't shape up — all in front of everyone present at the meeting.

The Alpha Male calmly corrects his factual error, moves on, takes him aside later and explains in detail where exactly the staffer went wrong, how to fix the problem for future, and answers his questions about how to do his job better.

What's the difference?

The Bully always seeks the limelight. He tries to dominate every scene and uses abusive, loud language and aggressive body language to intimidate.

The Alpha Male looks at the job at hand and takes the most direct route to getting it done while always being respectful. Self-image doesn't cross his mind.

Scene Two:

A few guys get together for lunch. The Bully does most of the talking.

The Alpha Male mostly listens and keeps his own counsel.

What's the difference?

For The Bully, it's all about himself and his successes because he cares desperately about whether he is impressing people. He is always worrying about his image.

Alphas don't need to impress anyone. It never even occurs to them to do it.

Scene Three:

As leader of a project team, a Bully dictates his demands, refuses to hear input from team members and threatens dire consequences if his demands are not met. Morale of the team plummets, as guys feel it's a shut-up-and-do-as-you're-told environment.

An Alpha Male leader explains goals, assigns tasks, solicits input from his troops, and leads by example. He assesses the situation and goes directly toward making it happen. Team morale is high, as guys feel they are on a winning team.

What's the difference?

The Bully makes it hard for others to function. Everything a Bully does and says has this question behind it: "What will it do for my image?" Everything else is secondary. Thus, he not only is a pain to work for, but he actually robs the corporation of the full functioning abilities of all the workers he intimidates.