Call to shatter the silence on abuse

LENA KASPARIAN still carries in her purse a photo of the man she was accused of murdering.

She says that man, her partner Marc Zartarian, could still be alive if others had not turned a blind eye to their violent and volatile relationship.

To coincide with White Ribbon Day, Ms Kasparian, 33, has spoken about what she said was an 18-month nightmare. It began the night Mr Zartarian attacked her before he was rushed to hospital with fatal injuries, and finished with her Supreme Court trial, where she was found not guilty of his murder.

''I never thought in my wildest dreams I would be in such a situation or be charged with murder,'' she said. ''It was a nightmare. I came home one night thinking I was going to put the kids in their pyjamas and put them to bed.

''An hour later I had my arms in cuffs, my children were screaming for their mum and I was taken and locked up in a cell.''

During her trial in September, Ms Kasparian said Mr Zartarian had been drunk and aggressive as they drove home with her two young children from a birthday party on May 1 last year.

When they got to their Wetherill Park home in Sydney's south-west, she said he hit her with a stainless steel saucepan and she picked up a knife to protect herself.

She allegedly told him to get back but he moved towards her, saying: ''Stab me, stab me, just do it.''

After the knife entered his chest, Ms Kasparian locked herself in the laundry while Mr Zartarian walked around the house making phone calls. When he called out that he was having trouble breathing, Ms Kasparian said she left the laundry and phoned triple-zero. Mr Zartarian died five days later.

Since that fateful May evening, Ms Kasparian has learnt that people in the neighbourhood heard and saw the events that unfolded in her home. She has learnt that friends were concerned about the verbal abuse to which she was subjected.

Ms Kasparian said Mr Zartarian could still be alive if others had spoken up rather than ignoring it. ''Neighbours said they heard screaming … and saw him kicking down the door but everyone turned a blind eye,'' she said.

''If you hear that, call the police. You call the police and can remain anonymous. You're not getting involved in someone else's life.

''Marc would have still been alive and I wouldn't have had to go through the whole legal process if people had done that.''

Others have questioned why she chose to stay in an emotionally abusive union. ''I was stuck. I didn't want to neglect him because I cared for him but I knew there was no end to it.''

Since she was cleared of his murder, Ms Kasparian has been involved in a public feud with Mr Zartarian's family, who believe she should have been jailed.

But now she wants to talk with women who also are victims of domestic violence in the hope they will not have to go through a similar ordeal.

''I want to sit with them, have a talk, share a laugh and cry,'' she said.