Last week, after ABC News talking figure and human alfalfa sprout George Snuffleupagus was finished feeling like a big boy for tearing NBA legend Dennis Rodman a new B-hole over his visit to North Korea, our beloved friend Matt Ufford wrote this takedown of the whole ordeal, and if you haven’t read it, you should, because it’s the good only thing you’ll read about Rodman for the rest of his life.

I say that not to be a dick, but because thanks to Snuffleupagus – whose name I refuse to spell correctly because he was a dick to Rodman – Rodman now thinks that he should travel the world and try to make other people love the U.S. again. And while the idea of reaching out to countries that hate us and probably want to nuke us is great, I could name 1 million people I’d send before I ever even thought of Rodman.

Like I said last week, stop asking Rodman questions about politics. It’s not cute, nor is it funny. Meanwhile, as much as I’d like to rail on the fact that this guy should be detained by the State Department, I want to look at this picture again.

How exactly does one get the job of Dennis Rodman’s umbrella holder? Because I think that would be along the lines of Warren Sapp’s toilet cleaner.

UPDATE: The Vatican was like, “Yo we need to wrap this ish up so he will leave.”