When a crisis point is reached regarding a person's drinking or that of a loved one the pain also provides an opportunity. It can break down preconceived notions and serve as a catalyst for change. It might help a person realize that "their way" isn't working. Even better, it might make the pain of fundamental change less than the pain of continuing the same patterns of thoughts and behavior.

Unfortunately, most simply want the pain to stop without having to make fundamental changes in their thinking and actions. For the person with alcoholism, immersing yourself in a program of recovery and making staying sober your "primary purpose" does not come naturally. For the loved one, engaging in a program of recovery for yourself, setting limits, and allowing the alcoholic to experience the consequences of alcoholism is difficult. Their response to suggestions that require fundamental change and surrender is reminiscent of the song by Meatloaf; "I'd Do Anything For Love But I Won't Do That".

A person at an AA meeting once said: "My best thinking caused this crisis yet I still want to hold on to my way of thinking and doing things". The temptation is to do the same things over and over again all the while expecting different results.

No matter how painful the crisis it always creates a "turning point". Can the pain allow for a "deflation of ego in depth" leading to surrender and acknowledgement of a "power greater than yourself" or will it come and go with no meaningful change. A crisis allows a person to ask: "Is my way working?". The sad fact is many can't face that question and just want the crisis to end with no real conversion of thought and action.

Imagine falling into a cesspool. Not having the means to get out you're barely able to stay afloat and keep your chin above the liquid. Hearing people above will you ask "Please help me get out of here!" or will you say "Just teach me how to not make waves!".