As the saying goes, “No man is an island.” To fulfill your destiny in life, you must find and invest your time and resources in the things and people that will help you get there. If you are going to make a difference in this life, you must get close and find out what needs your special skill set, in the same way, if you want to make a difference in someone’s life, you must get close to that person and find out about how to meet their needs before you transform their life.

You must use the methods that lead to maturity and subsequently, to productivity. We all have wishes but these do not automatically transform to the desired outcomes but by constant doing, pruning, growing, and maturing. Once you master what you need to do, you will grow in maturity and reproduce your success in the lives of others.

Your life is yours and yours alone. What you make of it is up to you, and it will go down in history as impactful or fruitless of the gifts you so freely received. The choice of who or what to invest in must be considered with utmost thought. You must set up a process that tests and refines any and everything before allowing same into your inner circle.

Here I have presented a method (feel free to adjust according to your personal style) to help your pruning and refining process.

Examination. As mentioned earlier, it is important that you cross-examine yourself and Find Your True Self so that you will align yourself to like-minded people and things that will propel you to your dream life. This is the most crucial step, hence, the reason it is at the top of the list. I would like to begin this with your choice of people. You have heard the saying that “You cannot choose your family, but you can choose your friends.” Here is another one “You are the average of the top five people you spend the most time with.” How about this one “Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are.” Ah ha, now you know why you are where you are! From the foregoing, you would agree with me that you are immensely influenced by your company, whether you are aware of this fact or not. For instance, If you associate yourself with poor (poor in this case is subjective) people, you will become poor because over 80% of what you and your friends would discuss would be things poor people talk about, the same thing as losers, gossips, people who only complain and never seek the solutions to their problems but blame every other person but themselves. On the other hand, if you befriend successful people you have better chances to become one. Winning, losing, complaining, failure, success, hate, love, is contagious. Your choices will make or mar you. You have seen how important it is to surround yourself with the type of people you wish to be like. You must, therefore, examine any and everyone who pops up in your life, do not just welcome them into your reserved space, test them against all the parameters you have set for yourself. For instance, what is his/her thought process like? How is a typical day with this person like? What type of future is this person trying to build? What are his/her belief systems, values, and principles? What is his/her purpose in life? What makes him/her thick? Only consider mingling and befriending this person if and only if all the answers to these questions align with your destination and the greater good of you both. Be careful not to be judgmental because everyone is valuable but in diverse ways and you have the free will to choose those you allow into your circle. It would be an insult to our creator for you to write someone off because they do not think like you do; be respectful and polite when you weed out the misfits.

Experimentation. Those whom you choose after the examination period now move to this second phase. At this phase, both parties know the core things that bring them together. This is a good stage to discuss things you would want to do and seek any collaborations. The importance of collaboration cannot be overstated, it is easy to break a stick of a broom but not a bunch. Hence, it is a win-win for those who collaborate because those who are involved bring their strengths to the table. The beauty is that another’s weakness is supplemented by the other’s strength and vice versa. The key takeaway here is to experiment and confirm your winning team.

Choose the best fits. Just like best friends, they are not your friends for the sake of it, but because they have proven themselves worthy. After experimentation, you should know those who deserve to be in your inner circle. Do not hesitate to call them higher, they need to know that you trust them, hold them in high esteem, and expect much from them. Do unto others what you would have them do unto you, so remember that as much as you demand, you must also give back in equal measure.

Remember those with whom you started. You see the human nature is very deceitful. The successful they say has many friends. When you become successful, you will be surrounded by many people who have no idea how you started and arrived at your current status. Some will come just to receive, others, to join the bandwagon and show off that they are hanging out with you, and would seek to create friction between you and your tribe. Most of these people are not committed nor loyal to what you stand for, their praises and clamor are fickle that will dwindle the moment the tides turn and your fortunes change.