Ten Things I’ve Learned in Paris (Part Trois)

France looks after its own, as well as halfling expats. After job-seeking for the larger half of last year, the benefit system allowed me to not only live and pay rent but to stay in the country I call home. Thank you la France. I’ll make it up to you.

The horrific Paris attacks in November united Parisians in the best way possible. The #tousaubistro movement, created by French restaurant guide Le Fooding, saw thousands heading back to the terraces to show solidarity. With wine, without fear.

Food in Paris doesn’t just pertain to bread, thick stews and frites. Latest recommendation is Trois Fois Plus De Piment where you can order the menu according to your penchant for spice (levels 1-5). Main meals are between 7-12€, and a starter of dumplings is obligatory.

After a week of intensive research, the best boulangerie in Paris I found was a tie between the neoclassical, Sébastien Gaudard, and the traditional, Tout Autour du Pain. Read up on my croissant trail here.

Chatelet, Les Halles makes any other train station seem like a walk along the Yellow Brick Road. Sending my poor father into that person-flooded labyrinth —at rush hour, alone— is not something I’m proud of.

Comment déouper le fromage is an inflammatory discussion around a cheese board.Lengthways, diagonals, crust on or off? Doing it wrong is a surefire way to irritate your host. Bring a protractor and hope to God you don’t break the slice.

No French person acknowledges the existence or point of Dry January.
Recent reactions to my decision include: uncontrollable laughter; confusion (“So just on Wednesdays, right?”); and quizzicality (“Mais, pourquoi ?“).

Which brings me to my Dry January feedback. “Woah, steady on the water there”, raised eyebrows, and a happy boyfriend with a less depleted wine cellar.

My French accent is still unbearably English. Which makes it even more pleasurable when someone thinks I am French. NB: rare and usually a fellow foreigner.

This eternal use of this map. Thank you dearly, Thrillist (*Use currently on hold due to point 7).