Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Out, out damn Gleek

I defend “Glee” a lot. Like, a lot a lot. Like there were stretches where I felt like all I did was defend my love of “Glee.” So, in that respect, I feel I’ve built up a close-to lifetime supply of goodwill for this silly little show about a show choir in Ohio with a magical costume and backup dancer budget that makes trickle-down economics seem positively Keynesian.

So now, now I feel like burning through a little of that goodwill. If fact, I feel like setting the whole house on fire and watching the flames lap loudly against my still raging soul. Why? Well, because last night’s episode of “Glee” really fucking sucked.

It didn’t just suck because of the normal inconsequentialities and flagrant inconsistencies that can make “Glee” so frustrating for people who insist on living in a fact-based reality. I’m saying it sucked because for a show that prides itself on sending a message of tolerance and diversity, it sent a message of consequence-free outing and white-male salvation. It was severely misguided to give it the benefit of the doubt, and a few of those dreaded –ist and –istic words if you don’t.

Also, don’t get me started on the fact that the episode was called “I Kissed a Girl” and no girls actually kissed. (That cheek kiss was cute and all, but come the fuck on.)

What “Glee” can sometimes do well is peel back the skin of a significant social issue and expose the beating humanity underneath in a way that helps everyone understand it better and therefore fear it a little less. It’s how things change in the world, by realizing we’re really all not that different.

What “Glee” can sometimes do badly is take a significant social issue and simplify it down to a glib streak of superficial cheerleading and then preen itself wondering why it’s not being slapped on the back and handed cigars for the beautiful bundle of enlightenment it has just birthed unto the world. That’s how people self-congratulate themselves without changing a damn thing.

I mean, the whole show started out on the wrong foot with Santana being punished for slapping Finn. Granted, physical violence – even the deserved kind – is unacceptable and should be dealt with. But Finn outed Santana. And that may not be physical violence, but it is psychological violence. And, no, do not trot out the “Finn didn’t mean to out her and couldn’t know it’d turn into a political ad” malarkey. He yelled it at her across a crowded high school hallway. He’s dense, but he can’t be that dense.

But instead of handling the fallout from this outing. Instead of delving into its ramifications. Instead of showing while, even if unintentional, it was wrong. Instead of all that, Finn is turned into some kind of gay awareness superstar and the episode becomes A Very Special Intervention Outing Glee. Never mind that last season, when Kurt was being seriously bullied by Karofsky and then discovered he was actually also gay, he took great and extraordinary pains not to out him. Never mind that Kurt did this because Karofsky wasn’t ready and it would be wrong to force someone who isn’t ready out of the closet. Never mind that as recently as last episode, Mr. Shue, Coach Sylvester and Kurt’s dad all seemed super concerned about how terrible it was that Santana was being outed.

Nope, instead there are absolutely, positively, unquestionably zero consequences for Finn outing Santana. Not a talking to from Kurt, his gay step brother. Not a lecture from Burt, his super gay friendly step-dad. Not a dirty look from Rachel, his has-two-gay-dads girlfriend. Nope, just a gold star for essentially blackmailing Santana to come out or risk suspension from school. Isn’t he a stand-up guy? Hey, kids at home, out your friends and be a hero. Everyone’s doing it! Yay! Outings! YAYYYYY!

Look, life is better when you are out. This is almost universally true. But there are very real consequences for coming out for some – including but not limited to isolation, violence and worse. And there are equally real consequences for being outed – consequences which weren’t even glossed over. They were entirely ignored.

Also, what the hell was that throw-away line from Santana about: “I told my parents last night and they were actually OK with it.” How many exceptional scenes of the Kurt & Burt show did we have when he was dealing with his sexuality? Granted, it doesn’t and shouldn’t be the same response. But it shouldn’t be an afterthought. We didn’t even get to see Santana’s parents, let alone a whole paragraph of dialogue about their reaction?

The one well-played and meaningful scene in Santana’s entire outing saga was her quiet, powerful talk with her abuela at the kitchen table. That’s what “Glee” can do well, when it wants to. That’s the raw human condition that brings us all closer. That’s real fucking life.

Also, my heavens, how spectacular has Naya Rivera been through this whole mess? So spectacular. I will go down with the Brittana ship. I will be the violinist clinging to the deck as the water pours savagely into the hull. That’s how much I enjoy these characters and these actresses.

But, lord, do they deserve better than last night. In fact, this is the worst-case scenario I dreaded when I first heard spoilers about Santana’s outing. That it would happen in a “it’s for her own good” kind of way without any repercussions therefore sending the message that outing people because “dude, the whole school already knows” is perfectly OK and probably a good thing and possibly something they’ll give you a medal for.

The thing is, you can help your friends come out. You can support them. You can listen to them. You can encourage them. You can be there to dry their tears and squeeze their hand and find their strength. But that’s not outing. That’s not taunting someone with the possibility of the person she loves not loving her back. That’s not calling her a coward. That’s not what happened That’s not the kind of private, careful, meaningful support “Glee” showed. Not even close.

p.s. This would have been a wonderful place for, say, Brittany – you know, Santana’s girlfriend – to come in and privately encourage her. Brittany, who has been so supportive of Santana throughout her whole journey. Brittany who loves Santana more than anyone else in this world. But, no, that wouldn’t fit into the show’s pre-destined hero mold.

Speaking of that and this whole “it’s for her own good” shit, what was with all the menfolk being the saviors for the womenfolk this episode? Oh, I get it. This is the “Glee” where the boys all saved the girls from themselves. Gee thanks, mister. What would those frail ladies with our crazy lady brains have done without the guidance of a Finn or a Puck last night? Poor closeted Santana and poor nutso Quinn might have gone on forever without being rescued. And if men weren’t saving women, women were sacrificing themselves for me. Like Rachel turning herself in for Kurt. And when women weren’t being saved by men, or sacrificing for men, they were fighting over the big lugs (i.e. world’s least likely two points on the bottom of a man-topped love triangle, Sue and Beiste).

Oh, and of course there was the obligatory superficial female empowerment this episode. You know, when all the Glee gals rallied around Santana for a little girl-on-girl power in the form of that ridiculous, ridiculous ode to drunken making out. Still, as much as I hate hate hate that song, I couldn’t hate hate hate the performance because that, again, is the power of “Glee.” It takes preposterous things like a 30-year-old arena power ballad about believing and makes it give you automatic goosebumps. So, yes, I tried my best to set aside my hatred for Katy Perry’s co-opting of lesbian culture to enjoy the unapologetic eye candy of every Glee girl ship, crackship and ship you never knew you shipped cavorting together for our pleasure.

Still, we haven’t even begun to touch on Quinn and her storyline of pure crazy and the Puck-Shelby teacher-student carnival of inappropriateness. If we did, we’d be here all week.

Yes, I enjoyed the cheek kiss and thumbs up. And yes of course I enjoyed the big Brittana hug (though hello – NOW KISS). And, hell, I’ll even rewatch that ballot smooch. But, no, I do not have to accept that an episode titled” I Kissed a Girl” featured exactly zero girls actually kissing each other. And, no, I do not have to accept that an episode about coming to terms with one’s sexuality was really about the benefits of outing. And, oh hell no, I do not have to accept that in an episode that should have been all about women, men were its central heroes.

Also, I will never forgive Finn Hudson for ruining Cyndi Lauper for me. Or, as Santana put it so eloquently: “Thank you, guys. Thank you Finn, especially. You know, with all the horrible crap I’ve been through in my life, now I get to add that.”

The only thing I disagree with, though, is the scene with Santana and her abuela. It fell completely flat for me. Naya's a rockstar, of course, but it felt hurried or disingenuous or something. It didn't have the heart that the Kurt-Burt scenes had, in my opinion.

My favorite part is how Finn telling Santana that she's awesome and they all love her makes everything better... when that is EXACTLY WHAT BRITTANY HAS BEEN SAYING ALL. FUCKING. SEASON. I honestly think I'm done with this show.

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for putting in words what i have been feeling inside my head since watching the episode! If it wasnt for Naya and her fantastic performance (the way she looked at blaine when he was singing.. priceless)I really couldnt have cared Two Hoots for this episode!

Beautifully said. Couldn't possibly say it better myself. I wish and hope some Glee writer or anyone associated with Glee reads this blog because it literally sums up what might be the ultimate downfall for this show. Thanks so much.

such a disappointing week for gay shows. No 2 broke girls, Rizzoli and Isles pretty much just broke up with us(so sudden? baby we can be better! I promise we'll stop calling angie harmon a homophobe!) and now glee. Thank God we still have your recaps, its the only entertainment from these shows I'll be getting this week. By the way, saw an interview for 2 broke girls where beth and kat said they are going to kiss on the show...comments?

I don’t think I’ve ever cringed so much during an hour of television. It was painful to watch at times, the blackmail, the “you were my first” and it’s a “part of a phase” scenes were appalling. I’m not even going to comment about the serenade as I had my eyes shut tight as I couldn’t cope with Fin’s gurning. I’m not surprised Santana cried, if that was in my face I would too.

Mr Schu was his usual creepy self, so his actions were hardly surprising but I was disappointed with Shelby’s “yeah, suspend her” attitude (but her moral compass is way off, which could explain it). If in their eyes Santana’s actions were unprovoked then you’ve got to wonder what would be considered as due provocation?

The lack of Brittany made no logical sense, she’s been holding Santana’s hand from the beginning of this process and for the finale she had a bit part. I’m assuming this is down to bad editing but we’ll never know.

Naya Rivera was incredible and I would love to see her in a role where the script/story wasn’t so inconsistent. The scene with her abuela was very powerful and it would be nice to think we’ll have some follow up but you just know that won’t happen

The worst thing about this was that it wasn’t written by RIB, Marti Noxon should be embarrassed to put her name to that piece of writing. I could forgive her shooting Tara but this travesty will take some time to come to terms with

Dorothy, thank you for you for voicing what a majority of us feel. I hope someone listens and learns from this. Give Naya her own show as I want to support this sublime actress. As for Glee, FUVM! I get heaps of abuse from family and friends for supporting this show Mr Murphy. I've seen the light. No more. I call bias. I bet we don't see any top ten chart action this week or your pockets padded because I will no longer spend money supporting this show. You are off my Christmas list. XENO.Ps. My Word Verification to post this was 'suctrood' and so appropriate for this Glee ep.

Yeah, this episode left me fuming as well. And more so because I think the writers honestly thought they were writing an episode about 'how to help your gay friends' instead of writing an episode about 'how to justify outing someone'. It's maddening.

And not that I think the writers put this much thought into it, but the parallels between Kurt and Finn are interesting to look at. Both Kurt and Finn were being bullied, and at some point they both realized they were being bullied by someone gay. The difference is that Kurt is gay and therefore understood that outing someone is wrong, that that is a personal decision that everyone has to make for themselves. Finn is straight and therefore has no idea -- he just sees the end result of being out, not the internal struggle or the courage it takes for so many to come to terms with being gay, even just within yourself.

We've all heard stories, or had friends who have survived horrible accidents, or diseases and have said things like "Cancer was the best thing that happened to me, it made me take stock of my life, get my priorities straight, etc...", and it's true, but that doesn't mean that everyone should get cancer or have a major accident. Not everyone survives that. Out is better than in, but that doesn't mean we force it on people... not everyone survives that.

...okay... so yeah, this pissed me off. And yeah, to echo your point, there are so many people around Finn who should know better, and yet not a one of them said anything. The hell?

I really wish Glee had put more thought and heart into the abuela scene. At least gotten an actress who could compliment Naya and give her something to act against.

The writing really did a disservice to Naya Rivera last night. Despite it all, she managed to work her magic. When you have someone as talented as that, I don't understand not using her to her full potential.

I'm convenienced Naya is too good for glee and her skills would better be served elsewhere. Even as I type this, I still don't get it. If I had the type of depth she has as an actress, I'd write the hell out of it. It boggles my mind.

*sigh* I knew, in my heart after last week that the Golden Boy White guy wouldn't feel anything at all from what he did. I knew it, and yet I had this little hope that Glee would prove me wrong. That they'd step up and even though they released that horrible song it would really be Jill S's version or they'd actually let some girls sing these 'lady's singing about lady's song' (Puck didn't do horribly with the Etheridge, but, other than Santana, who then had to share Constant Craving, it was all dudes singing this week, argh).

But, they failed miserably.

I think that part of my problem with the Abuela scene was that Glee didn't even go all the way. If you want to make a point, in TV, in a book, a movie, you go for it. Have the Abuela say 'it's against my religion, or my moral code' or whatever, don't have her weaselly mouth it and say 'it's not about you, it's about the fact that you told your secret'. That sends yet another horrible message. Have her reject Santana, and then have the rest of a storyline about it, have them have another frickin' scene together later (which I doubt will happen) where growth is shown.

*sigh* Maybe it's that horrible little thing that pops up in the gay/lesbian community sometimes that gay guys think that lesbians don't have it as hard coming out. I've read/heard that more than once. They're guys so it's hard, we're women so it isn't...

Naya, run, run far away from Glee and find a show where they write right!!

To summurise : Rayan Murphy was doing much much better on his own ! All those writers seem to be over rated ! Most of the twitter screams : what a wonderful episode nd damn I just seem to have watched another completely different episode ... Puck - Shelby totally lame nd disgusting ! I love Puck as a character ... All so cool nd thought his best moments were with Lauren :) gosh how much I loved those two :) Quinn - looking good on the background ... Not enough ...Kurt/Blain - so they got together nd became the most boring couple EVER? Nd I was wondering if Darren Criss goes to dance rehearsals at all? His dance moves r screaming for harsh Santana remarks :))And Sanatana ... My sweet lovely Santana ! It doesn't matter how good u r as an actress nd singer u cannot make lines sound real ! Enjoyed only Bitchy Santana all the rest was such a cheap soap opera lines. Finns song dedication was a big WTF ? Even tho the song ,the original version n any other kind of version for me personally is an older equivalent to I kissed a girl - girl kissing girl nd then singing Girls just wanna have fun .. Like its just that nothing serious ... Anyhow that's my very personal opinion about that song cause I never liked it nd now sang by Finn ,... Argh ! Brittana is on ?? In which series cause I don't see it in Glee ! Nothing even close to the emotional and powerful storyline Kurt had !! Outing girls on public is NOT all do fun nd fine is equally painful ! Should be shown this way ! Santana told her parents nd they were ok was a lie lie lie !!!

YES! I can't believe I didn't mention that. Finn somehow thinks he is the King of Teh Gay and knows all about what Teh Gays need. It's like when white people try and talk about 'the black experience'. Stupid.

And let me just point out that the word verification for this comment is "outed". I'm not making that shit up. If I knew how to screen cap, I would

To think I actually had hope for this episisode,I really thought with marty Noxon it might have stood a chance. I felt the scene with Santanas grand-mother seemed rushed and out of place. Funny, for an episode called "I Kissed A Girl" the only girl I saw getting kissed was Sue. As for Brittana, those few scenes of sweetness with them only served to remind me how much the rest of this eoisode SUCKED.

However, I am so fecking *sick* of the depictions of "boys = saviors" on this show! But hey, heaven knows, what with all that poisonous estrogen in their systems (let alone the fact that breasts are built in storage units for "evil inclinations", don'tcha know) the Glee-gals are simply incapable of being anything other than helpless, crazed, selfish b*tches. OK, I concede that they're not always depicted as such, but too frequently they have been (especially poor Quinn this season).

As to how they addressed the "outing" repercussions, or lack thereof? As someone who has been through that particular nightmare (and is still dealing with PTSD/panic attacks as a result) I was, quite frankly, offended that not only did NO ONE confront Finn and call him on just how wrong that was, but also, the traumatic, emotional impact that Santana/Shue/Sylvester/Burt initially portrayed has been pretty much forgotten/ignored. Oh, and it's all in good fun to have Finn subsequently blackmail Santana with it. Such a rapscallion, him! *rolls eyes

However, I did find the scene with her Abuela intriguing, especially the bit pertaining to necessary "secrets" or that some things are supposed to remain secrets (can't recall the exact quote, sorry). My mind instantly leapt to what sort of secrets "Abuelita" has been forced to keep in her life. Does she and Santana share something very personal in common? Past attractions? Something that caused her to lash out in distancing fear/shame/resentment at Santana?

And lastly, (not even going to get into the wholy insulting song choice of Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl" *scowl) why was there such a lack of scenes with Brittany?? *throws hands aloft in utter exasperation

Ha! Ha! What a hoot! Darling, I have yet to fathom what draw you to these laughably preposterous shenanigans in the first place? The choreography? The cheerleader outfits?

“I feel like setting the whole house on fire and watching the flames lap loudly against my still raging soul.”

Here’s a match darling.

I say Snarks, you do seem *awfully* upset over all this?! Come come they are only a bunch of ruddy high schoolers! Fictitious ones at that. Anyway, I see they’re having a run of ‘Der Rosenkavalier’ at the Wiener Staatsoper in December – that would surely take your mind off all this ‘Glee’ nonsense. What do you say, my treat?

I like your fire analogy because to me Finn is the guy who lit the house on fire then ran around trying to put it out so he could be the hero. Buddy, I saw that episode of Law & Order, you're not fooling anyone.

Everything here, I agree completely. Glee had such a big chance to do something right....and instead they really messed up. It's more than disappointing at this time. I'm honestly not sure it's worth the time to watch anymore, just catch up on recaps to know if I'm missing anything. :-/

So, there I was looking up Rosenkavalier clips (I recommend Renee & Sophie :) ) on YouTube… and what do I find?! None other than a young Sarah Warn in some creaky old production entitled ‘The Fox’!!! Ha! No bloody wonder she started AE!!! :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&feature=fvwp&v=Fc_jE6yIv_E

You want the ‘romantic’ ‘mulled wine in front of a roaring fire’ scene starting at 1:45. I suspect body doubles may have been employed elsewhere? Incidentally, whoever scored that little montage ought to be horse whipped to within an inch of their bloody lives!!!

If the people who outed me in high school came up to me a few days/ a week later and tried to blackmail me into doing something whilst speaking in a super condescending voice and acting like it was for my own good, I would have punched them in the box.

Yes. This. So much of this. It is a sad, sad day for Glee when the Rachel Berry storyline is the one that *doesn't* make me want to throw things at the tv screen. And Finn Hudson--I'm not even going to go into the depths of your douche-baggery, because it's early and I'm too uncaffienated for that, but stop trying to make slowed-down, emotional covers with you on lead happen; it's not going to happen. Everyone's praising Naya's spectacular performance in the scene with her abuela (and for good reason) but if you ask me, forcing herself to emotionally react to that terrible, terrible song was the best acting anyone did last night.

The one point I would disagree with you on is your assessment of Rachel's actions. Yes, they saved Kurt from being suspended, but it was Rachel's fault that Kurt was even in trouble in the first place. I would agree with you completely if Kurt had been the one to compromise the election results, but the way it actually played out, I see it less as 'Rachel throwing herself under the bus for a man' and more of 'Rachel reluctantly taking the blame for her own actions when she realizes the serious consequences it could have for the person she was trying to help'.

I was soooo irritated by this episode. Like, how the fuck do they have Santana coming out to her parents happen off screen (just like her entire relationship with Brittany)? I understand that the big coming out moment was going to be with her grandmother, but why sweep it under the rug like that? This was supposed to be the eps that centered on Santana-and her story has been footnotes.

And have you noticed that the last two episodes have been, like, nine songs and then about ten or eleven minutes of actual story?

This show is becoming a train wreck. Oh, and one more thing that I'm sure everyone's been bitching about: where the fuck was Brittany? Couldn't we have had one nice moment between the two of them in any of these supposedly Santana/Brittana-centric episodes?

My problem is that I wished we had seen Santana come out to her parents instead of telling the whole glee team.But maybe later on in the season we'll see more of Santana embracing her sexuality this might be the tip of the iceberg?

As soon as I got done watching the episode, the first thing I thought was "I can't wait to read Dorothy Snarker's recap". I've never been so disappointed after watching an episode of any show. To say that they totally dropped the ball on this is a very big understatement. I REALLY want to quit this show, but like you said " I will go down with the Brittana ship. I will be the violinist clinging to the deck as the water pours savagely into the hull. That’s how much I enjoy these characters and these actresses." I love Naya and I adore Brittany & Santana. I'm going to be keeping up with the show, but only for them. When I say "keep up", it's going to be reading Dorothy's recaps and watching Brittany/Santana videos that will be posted on tumblr after the episode.

The best thing of last night episode: Naya's performance, by far. She's actually carrying the show on her shoulders and i hope she gets an Emmy nomination,it'll be so well deserved. However, what is wrong with the writers?

This was supposed to be an episode dedicated to women, but what did we get? A scenario where actually MEN are: victims (Kurt, nothing weird), winners (Burt) or heroes (Finn, seriously, after outing someone like that? not even an apologize?), meanwhile we have a defeated Sue, a girlfriend (Britt) who seems to have nothing else to do, rather that hug Santana, a guilty Rachel, Shelby the poor woman who can't take the responsability of a child by herself and who needs a teenager to help her, and finally, just a little screen time for such an important process as coming out. Santana's parents are OK with that? that's it? We dealt with too many Kurt/Burt, so it's not fair. And i'm not gonna start with the "I kissed a girl" song, that's just so rude. Glee writers, screw them!

There's gotta be an effective way to send them all this opinions and let them know how angry and disappointed some fans and specially women are feeling right now!!!

I was yelling I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore after this episode.

I thought the song choices were poor, other than having enjoyed Naya singing Constant Craving.

I was angry that the show made Finn into some kind of savior.

I was mad that this episode was so rushed. Why couldn't Glee dedicate the whole episode to making this a genuine and honest and heartfelt coming out for Santana instead of giving her all these throwaway lines.

I enjoyed the I Kissed A Girl performance, but thought it was a horrid song choice and so out of place for a coming out story.

Don't even get me started on the joke of using Girls Just Want to Have Fun and having Finn sing the song. What the F*CK? What, Santana just wants to have a little fun? I mean come on!!

I would have thought with more writers onboard this season and an out lesbian writer to boot, we might have gotten a really well thought out episode instead of the schlock mess we ended up with.

Thank you Dorothy for being better able to express the outrage that I imagine most of us felt or should have felt after last nights episode.

OK - can we just say the new writers have done nothing for continuity? It's the same old binge of rushed story lines and too many cast members. I thought with more female writers we would get away from the "poor woman" "hero man" bit but apparently not. And what was the Santana tears with Finn (hated that rendition)who actually outed her and yet being bitchy with the gay guys who never would have outed her? What did I miss

“I feel like setting the whole house on fire and watching the flames lap loudly against my still raging soul.”

This latest Glee contratemps is more than "disconcerting".

I saw some full-on weird in that show last evening. (I've only just started watching the Glee, btw) Why is that guy singing my Etheridge song? And why is that guy singing my Lauper song? Weird. I thought, well okay, he's just trying to be a "HELPER". That's nice. Next week, will he go on full drag and sing Adele like Santana did in previous episode? :)

Sorry lesbians, but this show? I love the Santana and her backtalk and they just took that fucking away. All under the umbrella of paterfamilias protecting us.

this show, for me, has become almost as fun to watch as the later seasons of The L Word..anyone who has seen The L Word knows that's NOT a good thing. when finn outed her, i had a knot in my stomach that made me feel like i was going to throw up. because i had such a strong reaction (which, judging by remarks online, i'm apparently not the only one who had such a strong reaction) i was expecting a strong storyline to develop from it. the fact that it didn't happen, and instead turned into the disaster this episode was, makes me angry..and then finn had the nerve to mention the 'it gets better' videos..seriously?!?! these are the kind of situations (his outing santana) that lead to the young kids feeling like it's NOT going to get better.this "let's gloss over everything and pretend like it's all okay because i'm gonna let you sing some girl songs" episode has killed glee for me. i think jennifer beals pretty much sums up my feelings when she simply says fuck you.

This is a pretty good assessment of the episode. I mean, there were definitely some good aspects of this episode, but my God, they really just don't trust their fans at all, do they? A lot of it was cheap and I know a lot of us feel cheated. As a lesbian, i kind of felt insulted.But I've learned to take Glee with a grain of salt. They've proved to us time and time again that it cannot be taken seriously. This from a show that USED TO bring me to tears every week. That being said, I've managed to find a few good things about the episode, at least. Well, good according to "Glee" standards.

Glee made me realize I'm bi. But this episode didn't help me feel like telling anyone about it yet. Now I'm just scared that someone will force me out when I'm not ready and even more scared that this is exactly how my "abuela" will react... I think my friends and my parents will be ok, but how about the rest of the people I love?!

I agree with everything you said. There's NO WAY they have female writers on that show, NO FUCKING WAY!! If there are those bitches need to turn in their vaginas, because CLEARLY they are males trapped in the female form. It's a damn shame they should have, could have done so much better by these amazing women. Iguess what I'm trying to say is FUCK GLEE!

This episode.You have said all the things I wanted to say. You have already pointed out all the things that made me go WTF over and over. I mean, seriously.

Finn. Not only does he RUIN a good song with this horrible, terrible, awful, unbearable rendition, he comes up with the worst plan EVER. "We're going to sing at you until you go ahead and come out of the closet for reals." In other words, torture.

Santana. I can't believe that all we got of her coming out to her parents was a single off-screen throw-away line. The scene I desperately wanted to see, and it was hand-waved away with a "they're okay with it."

The kiss. In an episode called "I Kissed A Girl" there was no sweet lady kisses. Just that cheek-peck that was easy to miss. Come on, Santana and Brittany deserved it, and we as an audience deserved it for putting up with the crap for so long.

The Beiste/Sue/Cooter plot. Really, this is what our time goes to? Because it didn't involve Beiste snapping and killing them both. You could spin these three off into a mediocre romantic comedy movie. Great actors, crappy story.

The Puck/Shelby/Quinn thing. NO NO NO. Dear GOD, No.

All the many extra characters in this show. Sugar, in the background with her no lines. Rory, in the background watching his 7-episode contract slowly expire while he does nothing of any significance. Artie and Mercedes, Tina and Mike, all just hanging around waiting for their chance to shine again. Everyone secretly dreading the return of Sam, the introductions of the other Glee Project winners, because it'll be more characters with 5 minute plotlines. And where is Lauren Zizes, anyway?

I see that this episode was written by one of the new staffers, Matthew Hodgson. I don't know who he is or what he's done, but he needs to be... something. Something acceptably punishing for his role in this mess.

This episode needed to be so much more, so much stronger, so much better, and instead it was something we'll all remember as one of the worst disappointments of a show that's admittedly littered with misfires amidst moments of genius.

AMEN. 16 hours later and I am still so angry at this stupid stupid show. They had an opportunity to do something great with this storyline and they just threw it all away to let Finn be the hero. Naya Rivera was gorgeous and wonderful, as usual, and now she is *really* the only reason I'll continue to watch.

"the-morrioghain said...

However, I did find the scene with her Abuela intriguing, especially the bit pertaining to necessary "secrets" or that some things are supposed to remain secrets (can't recall the exact quote, sorry). My mind instantly leapt to what sort of secrets "Abuelita" has been forced to keep in her life. Does she and Santana share something very personal in common? Past attractions? Something that caused her to lash out in distancing fear/shame/resentment at Santana?"

I thought that too. I'm not confident we'll ever see Abuela again but if we do I hope there is some resolution between them.

Dorothy, you rock. I love reading your blog and stuff on AE. I adore your snark, your wit and your eye for pretty women! Truth be told, I may have a wee bit of a crush.

That said, I don't get the outrage over last nights Glee. Punishing Finn for outing Santana would have been a boring efing episode. I was satisfied with the slap last week. That did it for me. It was a douchey move and he took one to the cheek for it. It's Glee. I don't expect much from it. Cheap entertainment with the added bonus of two really pretty, very talented female characters in love. I dig it! I'm happy with sweet pecks on the cheek, holding hands, hugs and coy smiles. It is what it is and for now, it still entertains!

I was pretty sure that it was Brittany who said she told her parents and they were okay with it...I don't think Santana has ever meven entioned her parents before. She has said before that she was raised by her abuela.

here's the thing... though I mostly agree with your soapbox, and I am in no way condoning Finn's actions, Santana's behavior up to her outing is never addressed. Is she not culpable for the malicious ugliness that spews from her mouth (regularly)? If memory serves, she instigated the events leading up to Finn outing her. How are her hateful words anything short of bullying in and of itself? This is not addressed, but is nonetheless, bullying. Does this justify Finn's behavior? No. But, her behavior is equally abhorrent. And, it too is usually ignored.

1. Santana's parents did not appear and were 'fine with it'. They were Fine With It. Fine. 2. Who got to say 'I love you' to Santana? Finn got to say 'I love you' to Santana'.3. Who didn't get to say 'I love you' to Santana? Brittany didn't get to say 'I love you' to Santana.4. The abuela scene was abrupt, rushed and cliche. We have never seen Santana's abuela before. We have never seen how 'important' she is to Santana.5. We have also not gotten a scene where Brittany, who we have seen is very important to Santana, comforts her, as the only solid rock in the raging sea of Finns and Mr Schues and central American homophobia and happy-clappy-just-accept-yourself SHIT. I do not want a kiss between Brittany and Santana. I want an honest to god RELATIONSHIP and TALK.6. I feel cheated because other characters: Quinn, Finn, Kurt...COACH BIESTE have received better plotline treatment in the past and for some, in this episode.7. I feel terribly, terribly sad because this episode had so much storyline potential (the parents thing could have taken 3 episodes and a Brittana-love scene) and serious content potential. Glee threw it all away along with Quinn's sanity, Brittany's brilliance and Santana's integrity as a character. 8. However, my main reaction is of anger. I do not blame the actresses in any way. The writers must be lined up against the wall of the Fox parking lot and SHOT *lol jokes*

I want anyone who reads this to know that this vitriolic diatribe is meant to be said in a low, spitting, derisive and thoroughly disappointed tone of voice.

Finn's 'It gets better' video comment? More likely than not he killed himself because he was outed before he was ready. Before he was able to truly accept who he is and surround himself with the people who he trusted and would love and support him. He wasn't ready Finn, and HE KILLED HIMSELF BECAUSE HE WASN'T READY, FINN!

And seriously? This is the third straight episode that reminds us that they slept together. Like, what is that?? For real, what are they trying to say by constantly reminding us? And don't get me started on this mystical you-were-my-first-and-therefore-have-some-deep-bond bullshit. The whole point of that ENTIRE episode was that it meant nothing to him.

As long as Finn remains on this show I'm done with it. It's not his character, its the condescension, the infallibility, and the privilege with which he is written that I will not take anymore. I will absolutely go down with this ship, but I feel less like the violinist and more like the guy that falls 200 feet and smacks into the propeller.

PREACH! I totally agree with what you had to say here. Thanks for posting it online. I just wish the glee-writers would get a fucking clue. but sadly it seems they're too stuck up their own asses and probably think they're doing an amazing job, BUT THEY ARE NOT.

Seriously, when the F are we going to get our Brittana kiss?? I've been waiting since May, since the season finale. I know that was overly optimistic to think it would happen then, but this is f*cking ridiculous. Seven episodes in, an episode title "I kissed a girl" and we still don't have our kiss. Makes me irate.

I find Puck's interaction w/Shelby to be disgusting especially w/all the press being given to the latest college and high school molestation cases. I realize that's male on male but still his affair w/Shelby is at the very least inappropriate and gives a tacit nod to OKing these types of relationships. Idina Menzel, how you have fallen! She can't find a more suitable person to boink? I realize it's the writers that write this utter pap but "Glee" is cringeworthy now.

You wrote: "Still, as much as I hate hate hate that song, I couldn’t hate hate hate the performance because that, again, is the power of “Glee.”"Well I also hated the performance because I had the feeling the whole time that the girls were really just dancing for the guys - to make them jealous, to turn them on, whatever. It was not like it often used to be: Part of the glee group sings something that gives a person strength and cheer and the rest of the crowd is radiating acknowledgement and cheering at them for their braveness or support. No - this time the boys in the crowd had a different look on their faces, they were lusting, getting turned on by the insinuated girl-on-girl-action. That was disgusting. And it was not only devaluating the coming out, but also devaluating lesbian love compared to gay love. When the girls cheered for Kurt at the time it was because they were proud of him, supportive and happy for him. The guys here were just horny douchebags mainly. And Kurt and Blaine filming the dancing with their mobiles? WTF?

Finn outed Santana in the hallway last week. Some cheerleader who apparently didn't know (how could she not???) told her uncle. A commercial is going to end up on TV. I AM NOT saying outing is okay. It isn't. At all. Finn should be absolutely ashamed for outing her. HOWEVER, we have to remember that she was going to be outed on television. Finn couldn't stop that. No amount of apologising could stop that. It was going to happen. No. Matter. What.

Isn't it important for Santana to know that her friends love and care about her? And isn't it better for HER to tell her family than an ad on TV?

Finn f***ed up. Obviously. It WAS WRONG. He shouldn't have. But he did. And it ended up being more destructive than it would be for most. It's going on TV.

I, just as I'm sure we all do, wish that Santana could have come out on her own terms. But with the ad that was going to air, she wasn't going to get that chance. Isn't this better?

*I had forgotten that Finn blackmailed Santana with the whole slap thing. But still, I do think his intentions were in the right place. Just horribly, horribly, shown the wrong way.

**I agree that Finn ABSOLUTELY should have been punished. Santana being in trouble for slapping him and him not even getting one word said to him? WRONG.

***I don't mind that Santana's parents weren't in it. I think not showing them serves a huge purpose: showing who in Santana's life is going to make the biggest impact. She might have been worried about her parents' reactions, but it wasn't going to be earth shattering. Her abuela's reaction was. We got that scene because that was the important one.

Very well put. I almost threw up when Bieste was singing Jolene. It shows you it is still a patriarchal world. It also shows that the man who recruited Chris for the show is quite fascinated with the Kurt character probably on and off screen. It has been brought up before that the Brittana ship was not going to continue but that fan support protest or whatever kept it going. Obviously the writers, producers whoever are not nearly as interested in lesbian outings as they are gay outings. The show was a suck-fest.

Glee is a show conceived,written and controlled by gay MEN. Gay men do not 'get' lesbians or lesbian relationships - period. Some of my best friends are gay men, and they're the first to admit this. Ok, the producers should AT LEAST get the 'how shit it is to be outed' thing, regardless of gender, but NOPE, they're too busy conceiving the show with their dicks. Ok, that sounds wrong, but you know what I mean. And my, my, don't they just love the male romances. Blegh. Total unintelligent crap.

But as much as I hated the storyline, I actually liked the performance of Jolene and Constant Craving (and ok, a little of I Kissed a Girl, too).

And let's not even start with Rachel. She's SUPPOSED to be the star of new direction, right? But she didn't even had a solo yet in S3 and thanks to the suspending from Section, it doesn't look like there's one coming...BUT COME ON!

Get a life! You all get so worked up and stressed over something so meaningless. Stop trying to relate what is going on in the show to your life; it isn't real. Watch something else if you are looking for reality and inspiration. Writers are going for ratings, that's all. For all of you saying you won't watch again, BS! You can't get enough of the mindless highschool drama the show feeds you.

As far as the name of the episode goes, if you weren't busy foaming at the mouth for a lesbian make-out scene, you would have noticed there was a whole song about "I kissed a girl"! You seem to be capable of analyzing every little detail and extracting meaning out of it (whether the writers put it there or not) that I don't understand what the fuss is about.

I wish I could say that I didn't agree with you but everything you said was completely and utter 100% true. I've never been so disappointed with an episode in my life. it wasn't great. it really upset me and and I love Glee but last night's episode was complete and utter crap.

Here's my opinion on the matter. The episode was hastily written with the intention of outing Santana immediately and going forth with the Sectionals episode. However, I feel like Glee has been lacking on the amount of episodes its been shipping out. This is Glee's last season with the original cast. And I feel, strongly feel, like they shouldn't be taking ANY hiatuses whatsoever. This episode was horrible. Plain and simple. I don't like Finn's characterization as this "heroic" football player because he isn't. He's a jerk, and a social climber. The thing is, this episode should have focuses itself on Santana, only Santana. The writers should have created more episodes to reach to the point where Santana comes to a serene point and finds that she needs to come out to her parents and her abuelita. This episode was doing too much. It was dealing with Santana's sexuality, the class election, Beiste-Menkens-Sylvester love triangle, and the Quinn-Puck-Shelby dilemma. It's called "I Kissed a Girl" (title should have been different), but it needed to focus on Santana more than anything. I don't like what they did, and the writers need to make more episodes this season. I don't understand the writers' fascination with Finn. He's not a good character. He's the antagonist for the past two episodes, in my point of view. The episode should have focused on Santana and SANTANA ONLY.

That was adorable and brilliant the way you, Ms. Snarker, alluded to Shakespeare's Lady Macbeth. :)

"Lady M. Out, damned spot! out, I say!"

And it was a running theme throughout your critique. They, the writers? really did murder this very serious subject of outing/lesbian love.

Also, more importantly, I remember a quote from a very cute show you have mentioned on this very blog, uttered by that lovely rascallion, J. Murray's Aphrodite in "Valentine":

"Love is a scary business. Savage and exacting, and has the power to raise cities and bring men to their knees. It spoils good taste and social mores, cutting across borders to make enemies of friends and friends of enemies. It takes what it wants, does what it wants, goes where it wants. Love is a damn beast. But I can see how a young college girl facing raw uncut true love for the very first time, especially a love that asks her to question everything she thought she knew, and decides to run away."

I was disappointed in last night's episode, and I agree with a lot of what you say. It's absolutely absurd that the episode that was supposed to be about the woman was so male-centered. Though, I don't agree that Rachel sacrificed herself for Kurt...if she wouldn't have been a dumbasss in the first place and stuffed the ballot box she would not have had to "sacrifice." And like many commenters have already said, the abuela scene was awful, really made me cringe. Their relationship was not believable, and Santana's dialogue just didn't seem right. But most importantly, I don't blame Finn for outing Santana. Of course, no one deserves to be outed. But also no one deserves to be verbally abused, and how Santana was treating Finn was also psychological violence. As dirty as it was that Finn yelled down the hallway, Santana pretty much deserved it. It doesn't matter if you are gay, bi, straight, transgender, whatever, if you are just plain mean, you better expect that people are going to be mean right back, spill your secrets, and say things that will hurt you, just as you have hurt them. Why should Santana's decision to keep her sexual identity a secret be respected, when she didn't treat any one else with respect? I would not have said what Finn did, but given the circumstances, I just couldn't feel bad for santana. but maybe i'm just bitter that she's sharing sweet lady kisses with brittany and i'm not :)-Angela

I hate Finn so freaking much. This episode was horrendous, though I really shouldn't be that surprised that a Latina lesbian's coming out story was ruined and made all about the white men. Even the girls' number near the end was all about the male gaze with the constant flashing to the guys' reactions to their dancing. I so wanted Santana to sing a song that would convey how she is feeling and simultaneously tell off Finn, but so much for that. Also, for someone who ran on a platform of anti-bullying, Kurt sure did absolutely nothing to make Finn realize the error of his ways. And what the eff was up with most of the "lady music" being sung by men?

It just sucks wait two weeks for this episode. I mean, this was the opportunity to do something good and I don't get why nobody is hating Finn for what he did. It's just weird and makes no sense at all.By the way, you had me at "Keynesian". I loved the mix with economics.

Ok, I definitely understand what you're saying, and I know coming out is a big deal and should never be done for you, but you are forgetting that Santana has exactly one redeeming quality and that's brittany. And that's it. Don't get me wrong I love her character, she is hilarious, but also kind of evil. She has been mean and vindictive to absolutely everyone on the show. Finn was wrong, and absolutely deserved to be slapped and more, but what he tried to do to make up for it was right, and something Santana really didn't deserve, and something SHE would never do for someone else. Yes, everyone deserves to be comfortable with who they are, but isn't the whole point of that is what you said, being gay doesn't make you, as a person, that different. I'm judging her on her personality alone and I really don't understand why sweet wonderful brittany even likes her in the first place.

She shouldn't have been outed - but she also shouldn't have gotten the wonderful support she did afterwards, as a person, she doesn't deserve it.

I actually disagree. why is there no backlash at Santana for continually and persistently harrassing Finn in the hallways? her blatant verbal assault is bullying, in the same way that Kurt was last season. There is no excuse for her hostility and incredibly cruel statements about physical appearance, and other traits, and his reaction to attack her was a natural response after her constant aggrivation.

You've pretty much covered everything. But what I cannot get, what I cannot fathom, is how the writers ignore Finn's outing of Santana (no, it probably wasn't done maliciously, no, he didn't mean for it to end up in a smear campaign broadcast across the state, but the fact remains that he did it in a public place, where several people clearly heard him).

And not only did they ignore that, but they actually CHAMPIONED him. I can put up with his entitled attitude and dialogue - that is his character. He's a privileged white boy who never gives any really deep thought to consequences outside of how they might directly affect himself. What I can't put up with is the fact that the show and its writers refuse to call him out on his behavior towards Santana. When he called Kurt's decor "faggy" was he a hero? No. Burt said it, Kurt said it, the tone of the episode said it - there was no excuse for such homophobic language.

Kurt is bullied, physically assaulted, gotten a death threat from a boy who turned out to be gay, and yet over the course of several episodes and opportunities, Kurt refuses to out his oppressor. BUT IT'S OKAY IF FINN DOES IT TO A GIRL, BECAUSE EVERYONE ALREADY KNEW ANYWAYS (and if everyone already knew, why did Salazar's niece share that piece of info with her uncle days after Finn yelled it in the hallway? Why not earlier, like at the start of all the campaign mudslinging?) AND YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT LEZBO WAS BEING A TOTAL BITCH TO HIM ANYWAYS. SHE CALLED HIM FAT. ALSO, HE'S REALLY HER FRIEND AND IT WOULD LIKE, SUCK AND STUFF IF SHE KILLED HERSELF WITH ALL THAT REPRESSED CLOSETED LESBIAN RAGE. HE WAS TOTALLY DOING HER A SOLID. HAHA, I TOTES SAVED YOUR LIFE SANTANA! YOU WERE SO READY, YOU JUST DIDN'T KNOW IT. (BY THE WAY, YOU'RE JUST A GIRL WHO WANTS TO HAVE FUN.)

You know, I get that no matter how good the writer it is damn near impossible to place yourself completely in the shoes of a different gender, a different ethnicity, a different sexuality, but they have supposedly two gay writers on staff, how can something like condoning an outing be okay? Be championed? Be encouraged? I recognized that Glee had a shitload of problems from the get go, and I'm usually one to let things slide off my back, but I have honestly never been so disgusted and appalled by a TV episode as I have by this one.

Glee has two gay writers and claims to represent the underdogs, the diverse, those who feel they don't fit anywhere, the "other." Kurt is openly gay with the most wonderful supportive father who would do anything to protect and encourage his son. Rachel has two gay dads she loves and cherishes and is not ashamed off, no matter how the social ladder stomps all over her. And yet, to all these people, real and fictional, it is suddenly somehow okay to out someone. Sorry Santana, but you know what? Finn really does know more about being a Hispanic lesbian teen in Lima, OH than you do. Why don't you just suck it up. You know, before you kill yourself like that kid in that video.

(I'm sorry, this was really gonna be a shorter post, but my rage is so, so...full of rage, and caplock abuse, sarcasm and run-on sentences tend to be side effects.)

You've pretty much covered everything. But what I cannot get, what I cannot fathom, is how the writers ignore Finn's outing of Santana (no, it probably wasn't done maliciously, no, he didn't mean for it to end up in a smear campaign broadcast across the state, but the fact remains he did it in a public place, where several people clearly heard him). And not only did they ignore that, but they actually CHAMPIONED him. I can put up with his entitled attitude and dialogue - that is his character. He's a privileged white boy bumbling around who never really gives any deep thought to consequences outside of how they might directly affect himself. What I can't put up with is the fact that the show and it's writers refuse to call him out on his behavior towards Santana. When he called Kurt's decor "faggy" was he a hero? No. Burt said it, Kurt said it, the tone of that episode said it - there was no excuse for such homophobic language. Kurt is bullied, physically assaulted, gotten a death threat from a boy who turned out to be gay, and yet over the course of several episodes and several opportunities, Kurt refuses to out his oppressor.BUT IT'S OKAY IF FINN DOES IT TO A GIRL, BECAUSE EVERYONE ALREADY KNEW ANYWAYS(and if everyone already knew, then why did Salazar's niece Share that piece of info with her uncle days after Finn yelled it in the hallway? why not earlier, like at the start of all the campaign mudslinging?), AND YOU KNOW WHAT, THAT LEZBO WAS BEING A TOTAL BITCH TO HIM ANYWAYS. SHE CALLED HIM FAT. ALSO, HE'S REALLY HER FRIEND AND IT WOULD LIKE, SUCK AND STUFF IF SHE KILLED HERSELF WITH ALL THAT REPRESSED CLOSETED LESBIAN RAGE. HE WAS TOTALLY DOING HER A SOLID. HAHA, I TOTES SAVED YOUR LIFE SANTANA! YOU WERE SO READY, YOU JUST DIDN'T KNOW IT. (BY THE WAY, YOU'RE JUST A GIRL WHO WANTS TO HAVE FUN.)

You know, I get that no matter how good the writer, it is impossible to place yourself completely in the shoes of a different gender, a different ethnicity, a different sexuality. But they have two supposedly gay writers on staff, how can something like condoning an outing be okayed? Be championed? Be encouraged? I recognized that Glee had a shitload of problems from the get go, and I'm actually one to let most things slide off my back, but I have honestly never been so disgusted and appalled by a TV episode as I have with this one.

Glee has two gay writers and claims to speak for the underdogs, the diverse, those who don't feel they fit anywhere, the "other." Kurt is openly gay with the most wonderful supportive father who would do anything to protect and encourage his son. Rachel has two gay dads she loves and cherishes and is not ashamed of, no matter how hard the social ladder stomps all over her. And yet, to all these people, real and fictional, it is suddenly somehow okay to out someone. Sorry Santana, but you know what? Finn really does know more about being a Hispanic lesbian teen in Lima, Ohio than you do. Why don't you just suck it up. You know, before you kill yourself like that kid in the video.

(I'm sorry, this was really gonna be a shorter post, but my rage is so, so...full of rage, and capslock abuse and sarcasm and run-on sentences tend to be side effects.)

For all those people who keep saying Santana deserved it and is in an evil bitch:

1. Bullying is wrong, no matter what form or from who. Finn certainly did not deserve to be picked on by Santana. But if you accept that Santana is in the wrong, so must you accept Finn was in the wrong. You can't have it both ways.

2. General consensus among Santana fans is that yes, we hate Finn. But as far as I can see, none of us say that Santana was right for bullying Finn, or that he even deserved it, like so many people say Santana does. We think he deserves the slap, certainly, but not all the verbal digs at his appearance. And if you think the slap was such a big deal, please remember Finn sat on top of Puck and straight up punched him in the face repeatedly, on the ground, in season one. And that was their second fight, to which neither boys were disciplined.

3. Being outed is not the same as being called fat. It's like comparing being punched and being shot. Both are crimes of assault, hurt the other person, but do very different levels of damage. Santana punched Finn. It was wrong. She shouldn't have done it. In retaliation, he took a gun and shot her. (Or, if you think that I'm being too dramatic, he used a bat and hit her with it. Is that better?)

4. Finn is constantly touted as the "hero." Santana is always cast as the villain. Even more importantly, Finn BELIEVES he's the hero and a "leader," Santana claims upfront she's, well, a bitch and a villain. If Finn is meant to be the good guy, then yes, he must be held up to higher standards. If the show wanted him to be just a normal guy who screws up sometimes and has as much "bad" as "good," then I wouldn't be so angry. But he isn't. He's cast as a role model, as the guy to look up to and follow, so him being allowed passes where other characters are not is hypocritical and unfair. As mentioned before, he was punished for the use of the word "faggy." He was not a hero there. There were no excuses. Why is he suddenly a hero for outing Santana? Both are verbal attacks rooted in homophobia. No one agreed that Finn was justified using that word.

5. Santana is being punished. She got banned from New Directions (as temporary as it was), almost suspended for the slap (which again, hypocritical considering all the fights that happen in previous seasons). She's mean and insulting, and to that end clearly lacks the friends that Finn has, as only Britt (and seriously, where the hell was she this whole episode? you know, as the awesome supportive girlfriend who stood by her since before Finn even knew Santana was gay?) and possibly Quinn could be truly called her friends. So yeah, she does reap the oats she sows. Why can't Finn?

Brilliant commentary. Thank you. Outing is an act of violence, a raping of one's identity. To have it treated in any other fashion is to reinforce the idea that closeted gays are waiting for the "salvation" of outing. It's no different than a Christian telling a Jew or Muslim in front of her children that she is going to hell unless she accepts Jesus as her personal savior and then smugly bragging about that alleged "good deed." Those acts change nothing other than the evangelist/outers' feelings about themselves. Outing = Identity Rape

In response to anon. with the 4 points. Certainly, Finn was also in the wrong. I agree that he is far from a "hero" and it definitely bothers me that he is (again) being portrayed as one. And yeah, why are there no consequences when the boys fight?????I absolutely disagree that being outed is worse than being called fat. It completely depends on the person. Granted, I went to a super liberal high school and no one cared that I liked girls, so I don't exactly know how being outed would have felt, but I did struggle with a serious eating disorder, and if someone in high school had called me fat, it would have DESTROYED me. So basically I just disagree with the victimization of Santana. But you're right, she is being punished in many ways. I think there are many lessons to be learned from this episode...unfortunately the poor execution makes me think that it won't do much good for current high schoolers. -Angela

I'm afraid we'll have to agree to disagree, but I will at least explain my side of the "outing is worse than being called fat" point.

Let me preface this by saying how glad I am for you that you lived in an environment where your sexuality was a non-issue. I can only hope that in the near-future, every member of the lgbt community will experience that same acceptance. It is also not my intent to demean what people with body issues can experience, but to put forth what people who are outed can experience as well.

As mentioned before, and we both agree on, bullying about appearance - weight in this particular dialogue - is horrible. As in your case, it could be terribly damaging, and there is no excuse.

However, in judging between these two one must take into account the potential of harm involved. This is important, so important that it is worked into our current legal system. For example: drunk driving. It is illegal whether or not you crash the car, because of the possibility that you would. No cop is going to say, "well, you're drunk, but you didn't run anyone over, so hey! No harm, no foul, be on your merry way!" So with this in mind, I will compare weight bullying with outing someone. Because I apparently love numbered points, I will continue to use them. (Don't worry, there are only 2.)

1. Internal (Psychological) Damage: This we both seem to agree on. Making fun of someone about their weight can cause extreme emotional distress, to the point of physically affecting their bodies and/or behavior. For example - eating disorders, anxiety, self-harm, suicide, etc. But please know, people who are outed can also suffer from these symptoms.

2. External Damage: First, to clarify what I mean by "external." I mean physical damage or harm that originates from someone or somewhere other than "yourself" - other people, basically.

This is where "outing" becomes "worse" than weight bullying. And also where I cannot resist the use of sub-points.

a. Community/peers: Overweight teens and gay teens are both at risk for being physically assaulted. However, being overweight is still much more "acceptable" than being gay in most of the country.

b. Family: 1 in 4 gay teens are kicked out of their homes. While I am sure there are some absolute shit parents out there who would kick their kid out for being overweight (or otherwise failing to meet their warped standards of outer beauty), there is no comparison in the percentages between the two. In fact, curious about the numbers I did some light research but could not find any surveys or reports on teens who have been kicked out of home for being either overweight, or bullied for being overweight. The fact of the matter is, when you go home to your parents after school and tell them you've been bullied about your appearance, chances are they won't disown you and toss you to the curb.

(Oh goodness, I actually had to cut this comment into halves. I am so sorry for the wordiness)

c. Religion: Religion is a hot-button topic, and one that can very well convince someone you thought was a friend or family against you. It's rather unlikely that your Catholic bff will turn to you in disgust for having body issues. Moreover, I'm pretty sure there aren't many churches out there preaching intolerance (or outright hate) of "fat people" like they do of homosexuals.

d. This point will differ a bit as I address an issue many lesbian women find themselves dealing with - the issue of rape. How many times have gay women heard the line "you just need the right dick," or other variants? There is a sentiment, spanning all the countries in the world, that lesbians are sick, and can be cured by being raped by men. In some countries it is even a legitimate, legal treatment, and even in countries which state unequivocally that rape is wrong, individuals bigoted enough, violent enough, think this too. And I have to add in my personal feelings here, because if some man - taller, bigger, stronger than myself - came up to me and told me I just wasn't f****ed right and that he could "fix" me, (which actually did happen to Santana, albeit with PG language), one of the firsts thoughts running through my mind is "is this guy going to follow me home and try to rape me?" I cannot speak for those who've been bullied for being overweight, but I do not think woman being made fun of for being "fat" having those same initial thoughts.

So to sum up, We must measure being outed vs. weight bullying not by the individual outcome (because as you said in your post, it differs person to person), but by the POTENTIAL for harm. Being outed and being bullied because of weight can both result in intense psychological damage, but being openly gay (whether by choice or not) has the much higher potential for being physically harmed. And so I must conclude that being outed is worse than being bullied for being overweight.

And that will be the end of my comments. You may take from this what you will, but I feel as though I've hijacked Ms. Snarker's blog overly much.

"I Kissed a Girl" was literally painful to watch. I've already drained myself of a good deal of anger against that maligned episode on my Tumblr. http://ryureblog.tumblr.com/

Seriously, I so much to criticize. It's like the show has actually gotten worse even though they supposedly hired more female writers. Like where was Brittany? Where was Santana's parents? We may never know.

I'm still going to watch tonight for Santana and Brittany and Brittango. But I swear if they just drop Santana's storyline and don't even address how Brittany feels I will hit a wall (figuratively, and feel bad literally). http://ryureblog.tumblr.com/post/13663455988/dont-underestimate-brittany

As a former victim of fairly severe bullying throughout 13 years of school (the most serious incident was being duct taped to a pole for 24 hours at age 11), I'm seriously annoyed that people actually think Santana actually "bullied" Finn and therefore she deserves it or she's a bad person. Are we living in a world where free speech and sporadic instances of sarcasm are considered "bullying"? If that's the standard we have to apply to, then every single person on that show is a bully. Even precious Kurt. Especially precious Kurt. Anyone who thinks that outing is worse than being called fat a couple times really needs to grow up and experience life. I really have no sympathy for people who whine over being on the receiving end of sarcastic comments.