Monday, August 30, 2010

Learn About Me Challenge - Day Twenty-Four

My dad passed away a couple years ago. He was one of the biggest influences in my life. If I ever sensed his disappointment in me, I would feel crushed. His opinion mattered a lot to me.

Dear Dad,
I miss you more than words can tell. I depended on you for a lot of things. Just little things, a lot of times, but still, it was a comfort to be able to call you and ask you silly questions. You always had time to give me an answer.
Your values in life are ones I want to claim for my own. I know I fall short in a lot of areas, but you gave me something to strive for. Even Randall says you were a great influence on him, for the short time he had to know you. He valued your opinions. He wanted to learn more from you, but time didn't let that happen. He regrets not spending more time with you.
I'm trying to help Mom around the house. I'm starting to see what you had to deal with concerning finances. I pray daily for the strength and wisdom to keep us out of debt, to keep the bills paid, and to not lose my temper.
I'm afraid I inherited your short hot temper. But like you, I've learned to control it. Maybe not as well as you, but I find myself constantly biting my tongue, or leaving the house, just to avoid losing my temper.
Just wanted to say thanks, for everything you did in my life. And I love you.
Your baby girl, Sherri

My mother is still with us, in fact, we live in the same house. After Dad passed away, she needed help taking care of the house and bills. This is a touchy subject right now, and I'm not going to get into too many details. But here's a letter I'd write to my Mom.

Dear Mom,
I know you are worried about being broke. Keep your chin up. We can budget and plan wisely and still have free money to splurge. Just not as much as you are used to.
Please stop acting like you are going to sell the house. I don't want to move again. I love it here.
I'm so glad that you are going to retire next year. I know that you've gotten older, and are tired of working long days away from home. I'm happy about your decision. Please don't worry about making less money. I can get a job and help out more. Which means that more of the housework will fall on you, and I'll expect you to help out.
But with FLyLady's systems, we can keep the house clean, laundry washed, meals cooked, and all that taken care of without a problem. Don't worry. I won't dump it all on you, I still expect to do a lot around the house.
Randall and I have so many plans for the house and yard. It is exciting to think what we can make of the place. That's why I get so upset to hear you talk about selling it. It feels like you are trying to destroy our dreams.
I know that's not what you mean to do, so I'm hoping that once you realize the truth of it, you'll stop making those remarks.
I have a deep love and fierce protectiveness for you, Mom. I defend you a lot. Yes, I know your memory is failing. That's okay. It's not to the point of being a huge handicap right now, just a little annoying. *wink*
I want to take care of you, and make sure you are happy. That's a hard thing to do, making you happy. It's always been the one thing I wasn't sure how to do. So help me out a little, okay? Give me a hint?
There is only one thing I ask of you. Please, PLEASE, stop talking about our personal home life to everyone. You promised that if you ever had a problem with something here, that you would come to me about it. Instead, I'm hearing about it from other people, and not from you. Keep your promise to talk to me about what's going on. I'm not the enemy, you know.
I love you, Mom. Please don't take any of this the wrong way.