My heart aches. My soul cries. It isn't for myself, though. No, I haven't fallen victim to a wretched fate. The pain I feel is for all of you. Because I, my friends, have been saved. I now know the satisfaction that comes from experiencing Puyo Puyo Tetris in all its glory, thanks to the benevolence of a friend who recently visited Japan. Yet, this jubilation is tainted by the fact that so few others know the pleasure that I have experienced.

Truly, this is a puzzle game descended from on high. Puyo Puyo Tetris is a game of the gods. Zeus and Hera surely use it to duke it out after he gets drunk, turns himself into a bull, and decides to have some fun with the humans. It doesn't seem like it should work. After all, it's a mashup of Puyo Puyo and Tetris, just as the title suggests. But work it does. Flawlessly and beautifully, it offers all players a chance to school their opponents in Puyo Puyo, Tetris, or both at the same time. And by both at the same time, I mean that the player and opponent both have Puyo Puyo and Tetris fields. The game automatically switches back and forth between them, and pieces continue to fall even when that field isn't "in play."

It's siren song is undeniable. For two nights in a row, I've been up playing it until 1 and 2 in the morning. "Just a few quick matches before bed." "I want to clear a few more story levels." "If I lose this challenge, then I'll sleep." These are the kinds of thoughts that race through my head as I dive deeper into the best puzzle mashup in the history of ever.

Especially Puyo Puyo Tetris' Adventure Mode. It's just so... so... charming! There's a story here and while it is both silly and simple, it's somehow magnetic. Tetris aliens invade Puyo Puyo land! Everyone can dig that! Especially since the Puyo Puyo side is represented by classic characters like Ringo, Amitie, and Arle, while Tetris has T, I, J, L, and other characters all named after Tetrimino shapes. Which is fitting since they are from the Tetrimino Planet and T is the future king.

I guess the joy of Puyo Puyo Tetris is that it's a challenging puzzle game that still somehow feels effortless. It's easy to get into and fall in love with it. Hence my heartbreak that only those unafraid to brave the language barrier can enjoy it. That's because Sega has yet to make a move concerning Puyo Puyo Tetris in other realms. This beauty is locked away, like Helen in Sparta, and importers who can't resist its charms are like Paris, waiting to steal her away.

It's absence is inexplicable, as Puyo Puyo Tetris would be a perfect candidate for worldwide puzzle domination. While Adventure Mode is seven chapters long, it wouldn't be a challenging localization endeavor. The dialogue is quite simple, as I mentioned earlier. It wouldn't take much time to prepare it for the English speaking world.

Not to mention it's scope is impressive. With the translation efforts done, Sega would have a game ready for 3DS, PS3, Vita, and Wii U owners. Even if Puyo Puyo Tetris was released as a digital exclusive, Sega would have no problem turning a profit on this title. The only possible reason for hesitation would be the upcoming, December 2014 release of the game on the PS4 and Xbox One in Japan, but even that could be countered. Sega could have put a translation together and made December 4, 2014 a worldwide Puyo Puyo Tetris day!

My exultations make it clear, Puyo Puyo Tetris is an extraordinary game. It's appeal would be universal, given the popularity of both series worldwide. Sega's neglect of regions outside of Japan is inexplicable. Because as one who has been obsessed with Puyo Puyo Tetris for going on three days, I know this is a title that would make 3DS, PS3, PS4, Vita, Wii U, and Xbox One owners happy. If any Sega employees are reading, please hear my plea. Mend my broken heart, because others need to experience this game. Don't you want Puyo Puyo and Tetris fans to be happy?