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I live in the deep south of New Zealand, where smelly dairy cows are taking over from sheep in the livestock stakes. My hometown is the small but perfectly formed city of Invercargill, which is also the hometown of the original boy racer, Burt Munro. Find out more about me here.

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Are you a procrastinator? I am to a minor degree, but I think that’s just human nature: we’re not always keen to do things that are hard work or a bit boring. Apparently though, it’s something we should cure by taking a course. An online course, in fact. Get The Darned Thing Done – How To Beat Procrastination In 14 Days was given a somewhat glowing review by a reporter for the Mail Online last...

So Christmas is getting ever closer, and we all have that one person on our list who is nearly impossible to shop for. Well have I got news for you! From the “things you didn’t know you needed but can find on the internet” comes a product called My New Pink Button, which has made a few sales on Amazon. I’m glad you asked (although you might wish you’d kept that question to yourself once I’ve explained). My New Pink Button is a “temporary dye to restore the youthful pink color back to your labia”. Yes folks, it’s lipstick for your girly bits. It’s currently out of stock so sorry, if you were keen to try a new shade for summer you might have to wait a while. I think I might need a cup of tea and a lie down.