So how can one be pregnant carrying something in their womb but no one notices? That’s what you call spiritual pregnancy. You see every person was sent on this earth with Gods seed of light in them. Carrying a mission and a DNA in them that they only can uniquely accomplish which is called a destiny. Many unfortunately never birth what God created them for out of fear, laziness, comfortability, distraction, pride, etc and many more down right reject Jesus…. the only one who is able to birth the missions into completion. As a believer its important we are aware of this. You are carrying a seed of heaven within you that is meant to impact not only the world but, eternity. You must first recognize that your carrying something to ensure you don’t abort it.

Psalm 22:9-10
Yet you brought me out of the womb; you made me trust in you, even at my mother’s breast. From birth I was cast on you; from my mother’s womb you have been my God.

First Trimester- the most critical (don’t turn back to the world)

So this is the month of conception when you finally say yes to Jesus to surrender all to him and make Lord of your life. The Holy Spirit comes dwell within you and bring life to the seed God has placed in you.

THE BREAKING

This was a time for me of excitement I knew I was called by the Lord but, wasnt sure for what or how he would use me. In excitement I told everyone thinking they would be excited too but realized very quickly spiritual pregnancy is not at all like physical pregnancy. Not everyone will be happy for you or even understand lol It’s okay because the conception was between you and the holy spirit. He actually is very private and loves to work behind the scenes so trust him.

In this trimester there is no number to how long the season will be. So you have to trust even when you don’t see anything growing. You must’n be moved by what people say or seek peoples validation it could cause you to turn back to the world.

Just as you would in your a physical pregnancy you have to change attitudes and create healthy habits for the baby. That’s the same with a spiritual pregnancy in this season. There will be a lot of opposition and spiritual warfare that will tempt you to give up. Don’t fall for it! You have to began some healthy habits of prayer, seeking the Lord, purity of eye, mind and body. So the Holy spirit can dwell in you fully now that your heart has become his home. So press on family you have something to birth!

Second Trimester-Growing in the things of the Lord

THE TESTING & PRUNING

People began to see something is different about you, a “glow” of course the LIGHT OF CHRIST IN YOU!

Once you pass the first trimester season it doesn’t get any easier necessarily but you do gain more trust in God and his promises. In this season you began to see some growth, some fruit showing in your life. Your growing in virtue as the Lord continues to test and prune you.

The only way you can grow is through testing and trials. Don’t be discouraged the more trials you face are opportunities for accelerated maturity in Christ.

In this season I began to grow in my faith as Jesus began to answer prayers. He just left me in awe of him. I began to be sure of my identity in Christ not by what he did through me or even what others said but by His words. I knew I was carrying something in me and was excited to see what God had planned.’ In this season i really learned about suffering and laying down my life for the Lord in order for him to trust me with the gift that is inside of me.

I realized in this season Jesus began to trust me! He trusted me with revelation, secret of his heart and direction. He would ask of me to do things for him to see if I would be obedient and faithful in the small things. So press on family you have something to birth!

Third Trimester-Birth pains (persevere don’t give up, don’t abort)

THE BREAKING, THE TESTING, THE PRUNING, THE WORKING, THE SUFFERING, & DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN lol

Don’t complain began to praise God for what he is about to birth in you. Let your faith arise in expectancy for what your hoping for even if you don’t see!

In this trimester/season people can testify of the work God is doing in you and even the vision God has but, many wont understand the process….I tell you too preserver. Don’t give in to people’s criticism or praise for it will be to your ruin. Unshakable faith is looking only for praise and or correction of God alone. He alone has a just viewpoint of your heart and knows your motive.

In this season God will continue to break you in areas you thought you were strengthen, test you further by stretching you, prune more layers in your heart, allow you to suffer in various ways all while doing work for him. In order to see if you truly desire to live for him and him alone.

You may have a vision or a knowing of the mission the Lord has within you but all the pieces haven’t come together yet. However, you see his footprints in the different steps he has taken you on to get you prepared and ready.

I am in that season now and I believe its the most critical because so much going on around you spiritually for the birth of what God has in you. Many times the Lord will put you on bed rest (a waiting period, where you have to endure patiently until the mission is ready to be birth) In this period is where you will get opinions from everyone else about what you should and shouldn’t be doing. Many people questioning your walk or vision with the Lord because they don’t see the “baby” but you must preserver. Trust in what God has spoken to you and know that this is a vital time to listen and walk closely with Jesus. To preserver in obedience to him and him alone. One wrong choice could cause you delay and leave you murmuring on in the wilderness until death like the Israelites. So endure patiently family something great is about to birth in you for his glory!!!

Jeremiah 1:5“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart

I found myself this weekend kind of avoiding my alone time with the Lord as my heart and mind were swarming with thoughts of discouragement, frustration, weariness, discontent, and confusion. For the past couple of days I have been having difficulty in hearing from the Lord clearly and I would seek him for a rhema word yet not really understand what he was directing me to do. I was getting words from him about “Laziness” twice in a row (eeeh I hate getting that besides sin and pride, makes me cringe) The rhema book provided scriptures on slothfulness so anytime the Holy Spirit gives me laziness it definitively not a good thing. He then also gave me rhemas about specifically being given priceless gifts from heaven and I need to use them or on that day before the Lord I will have many sorrows. So I felt the Holy Spirit telling me I am being passive or lazy about work, ministry work to be exact. Not utilizing my gifts for the kingdom with the time he has given me. The confusion came because I am not working at this time which I strongly believe was a commission from the Lord to trust him to open the door to the place he wants me at and not just any job. Then he gave me another rhema of “Submitting to Authority” I began to see how serious he was thinking what have I missed because I have been patiently waiting for 8 months, so getting this word twice threw me in a spat of confusion. Which of course opened the door to the enemies oppression.

James 4:7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

I began to entertain lies from the enemy and get in my flesh. I found myself complaining and honestly being frustrated with the Lord ( I know) but, I was. It has been difficult this season being back home believing it was God’s will. Babysitting watching my nieces pretty mush the whole half of the day whiles my sister works. Then trying to squeeze ministry work in late at night even staying up way into the AM just to get things done. So as I began to resist the Lords admonishments I opened my heart to receive all the arrows of the enemy saying ” I missed God”, “whats the point”, “everything I am doing is in vain anyway” “what I am doing is not good enough”, “He was the one who told you to come here so how can he expect you to be focused in this environment”. Yes I began to entertain all these thoughts and lies, as I did I began to run to food for comfort as well in the midst of my fast, just feeling like throwing in the towel to give up already. Thoughts of overwhelming sadness, my heart hurting, disappointment grief, and condemnation came over me. So I knew I had to rush into prayer to repent, ask the Lord to clean my heart but I had been avoiding this the whole day. I knew Jesus doesn’t condemn but, I kept thinking oh how I bet he will be disappointment and I deserve this oppression and to be honest I just didn’t feel like praying .

(SIDE NOTE: SPIRITUAL WARFARE 101 Whenever in your walk with the Lord you don’t feel like praying that’s when you NEED TO PRAY all that the more!)

However, when I finally stop fighting my flesh and got into prayer so I can pour my heart out before the Lord in tears. I saw a picture impression upon my heart, of course it wasnt a mad God who had his finger pointing at me saying “how could you”, I am mad at you, or even disappointment. No, I saw Jesus with the sweetest smile just waiting and before I could say or do anything I felt him say “Come hear” and he held me ever so tightly so close to his heart as my head was under his chin. All I could do was began to cry and cry. After a few of him holding me I wanted to let go and look him in the face and he wouldn’t let me as if to say. Its okay, just rest hear don’t be so quick to do anything but just stay right here and He held me even more tightly with the greatest compassion and love. I was like Jesus I don’t deserve this, and he said your right you don’t but its my mercy and love for you, that will never change. We had the sweetest communion and of course the Holy Spirit picked the best songs about falling short, stumbling into sin and the last to not give up!

I realized in prayer that I had been walking in a posture of entitlement before the Lord which the root is all pride. That in giving my whole life to the Lord and upon walking in obedience in the midst of this suffering I deserved some things and If they were not coming I had every right to be frustrated. I couldn’t believe how nasty my heart was, wow that I felt entitled. I felt the holy spirit tell me “We don’t deserve his goodness or his judgment”. Wow, we don’t deserve neither, when the Lord saves us, transforms us and even reveals himself to us its all by his mercy. We don’t deserve any of that and when we walk in condemnation, guilt or shame and we believe or the enemy tells us we deserve consequences that’s a lie because we don’t deserve that either. Jesus took upon the cross all of these things so we can walk free freedom as a son or daughter of God without condemnation. How many Christians feel that way in their hearts sometimes and both thoughts make us run away from God rather than too him. The beautiful thing is what we are entitled too as Christians is Free grace, mercy, love, compassion, and companionship because of the sacrifice and blood of our sweet Jesus! SO RUN TO HIM NOT FROM HIM, YOU ARE FORGIVEN!