Doing a New Old Thing

I don’t even know where to begin. There are so many thoughts in my head as I try to figure out this whole missional thing. I’ve had a few conversations with a few different people where my question has been the same. I’ve asked them very simply: where are the gaps?

And most of these people want to tell me what to do. That I should see where the interest is within the church. That I should be doing that church thing and not wading into these conversations. That’s when I have to clear my throat and ask again: where are the gaps? Because I could start there. And, truth be told, that’s what my church is doing. They are dreaming about all of the things that they could do or might want to do. But, I want to know what the needs really are. What’s missing? Where can we fit into that God-shaped hole?

In each conversation, I haven’t taken notes. I wanted to listen. I wanted to be fully engaged. I didn’t want anyone to worry about what I was writing down. But, this is problem for me. Because I’m a visual learner and unless I write it down, it doesn’t stick. So, I revived an old prayer practice. One you have seen before if you have followed my blog because for a little while there were lost of these prayers like here and here and here. That’s when I was still painting and my painted prayers looked like this. But, I haven’t done it in years. Four years to be exact until I sat down to try to think about these conversations. And this came out.

I turned the page and what came out was this.

I hesitate to post these because they have names and information that is pertinent to this community. I don’t want anyone to think that I’m not supportive of these people and their institutions. But, these are the things that I’ve heard. These are the things I’m wondering about and how I’m trying to prayerfully ask others into conversation so that we can discover the gaps — and maybe even try to fill them. Maybe. But, right now these prayers live as questions. Questions that I’m trying to talk to God about and waiting to hear what she says.