Family still struggling two years after girl killed in crosswalk

May 3, 2014

Updated May 5, 2014 12:56 p.m.

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Jorge Omar Meza, left, Eloisa Magaña and daughter Grecia Meza, 9, make an emotional visit to the grave of Osmara Meza, a 6-year-old killed in June 2012. The family continues to deal with the emotional and physical pain of losing Osmara nearly two years later. ANA VENEGAS, STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

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Jorge Omar Meza, right, makes the sign of the cross as he passes the intersection where his daughter, Osmara Meza, was killed in June 2012. Grecia Meza, 9, rides in the back seat and has not been told the exact spot where the crash happened. Grecia and her mother were left in a coma. ANA VENEGAS, ANA VENEGAS ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER

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Photos of Osmara Meza are displayed in her family's Santa Ana apartment. Friends and family sometimes ask why they don't remove their deceased daughter's photos. Her mother, Eloisa Magaña, says she feels the need to have them around her. ANA VENEGAS, ANA VENEGAS ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER

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Grecia Meza looks for snacks in the kitchen. The large photo was the last one taken before Osmara was killed. The photo shows Grecia Meza at left and Osmara Meza at right. ANA VENEGAS, ANA VENEGAS ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER

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Eloisa Magana, left, and husband Jorge Omar Meza, right, try to keep a lighthearted mood while slow dancing at their daughter Grecia's birthday party. They fought back tears at the party as they thought about their deceased daughter, Osmara Meza, who would have turned 8 two days before. ANA VENEGAS, ANA VENEGAS STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

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Grecia Meza, right, gets a face full of icing during her 9th birthday party in March. Jorge Omar Meza, far left, and Eloisa Magaña lost their other daughter, Osmara Meza, in June 2012. ANA VENEGAS, ANA VENEGAS STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

Jorge Omar Meza and his wife Eloisa Magaña deeply miss their daughter Osmara Meza. In March, they threw a birthday party for their surviving daughter Grecia Meza, 9. The experience was bittersweet for them, especially since they always had a joint birthday party for their daughters who were only a year and two days apart. ANA VENEGAS, ANA VENEGAS STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

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Jorge Omar Meza and wife Eloisa Magaña relax with daughter Grecia Meza, 9, in their Santa Ana apartment. They regularly drive through the intersection where the fatal crash happened because it's less than half a mile from their one-bedroom apartment in Santa Ana. ANA VENEGAS, ANA VENEGAS STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

Jorge Omar Meza, left, Eloisa Magaña and daughter Grecia Meza, 9, make an emotional visit to the grave of Osmara Meza, a 6-year-old killed in June 2012. The family continues to deal with the emotional and physical pain of losing Osmara nearly two years later. ANA VENEGAS, STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

Charges

Jessicah Louise Cowan, now 35, was charged with murder and other felony charges stemming from the June 23, 2012 crash in Santa Ana. She has pleaded not guilty and is being held at the Orange County Jail in lieu of $1 million bail. She is scheduled to appear in court May 16.

SANTA ANA – Jorge Omar Meza leaned in close to his sleeping daughter, gave her a kiss on the cheek, and then whispered a blessing to keep her safe.

Later, he would remember Osmara, 6, asleep in her trundle bed with her big sister, Grecia, as he made the sign of the cross over her, as he always did when he left.

“In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit,” he whispered, never imagining that these would be his last moments with his youngest daughter. “Amen.”

• • •

They were in a marked crosswalk, holding hands, less than a block from their home in Santa Ana: Osmara, her mother and Grecia. They were going to get pancakes at Norm’s Restaurant, a special treat they had been looking forward to all week.

A silver Lexus IS sped through a red light and slammed into them, throwing them 70 feet. Osmara, who loved purple flowers, ladybugs and butterflies, and who dreamed of being a motorcycle cop, died at the scene. Her mother and older sister suffered severe head trauma and were taken to the hospital in critical condition.

The Lexus never stopped until another car blocked its path a few blocks away. Its driver, Jessicah Louise Cowan, was arrested. She faces a murder charge and other felonies and could go to trial later this year. If convicted, she could face 15 years to life in prison.

The crash and the death of Osmara – who everyone called Omi – brought the community together and was one that veteran police officers never forgot. Nearly two years later, her death has faded from public view, but her family is still broken. They’ve sought therapy, they’ve prayed, they’ve cried, but they still ache for their happy little girl. Meza and his wife, Eloisa Magaña, struggle to stay strong for Grecia, now a third-grader, and hope they can withstand the impending trial.

“I just hope she didn’t suffer,” Meza, 35, said in Spanish. “I think about that.”

He was working when he got the call. A relative said something had happened to his family and urged him to come home. He noticed a helicopter circling overhead as he exited I-5, its traffic at a standstill.

He jumped out of his car and ran toward the intersection. Police officers stopped him, but he caught a glimpse of a small body covered with a white sheet.

Grecia was taken to one hospital. Magaña went to another. They were both in a coma, and Meza prayed to God to give them back.

“You feel like the world is coming to an end,” Meza said. “It feels like everything stopped that day.”

• • •

Magaña was still in a coma when family and friends gathered at Fairhaven Memorial Park in Santa Ana. Osmara was buried in the same pink floral dress she had worn weeks earlier to her kindergarten graduation.

Meza visited her grave almost every day, in moments of pain and whenever he wanted to be close to his little girl.

“I would go and cry at her grave, and then I had to go to the hospital to see Eloisa,” Meza said.

Magaña, 49, was in a coma for six weeks and went home with a feeding tube; she still bears the scar of a tracheotomy on her neck, and suffers debilitating headaches and bouts of dizziness. Her husband took a six-month leave from his job at La Jolla Group, an Irvine apparel-licensing company, to care for her. She stopped going to her physical-therapy sessions because medical bills kept pouring in; her brain surgery alone cost $89,000, and Meza makes less than $1,000 a month.

Her last memory of her daughter is her kindergarten graduation, and the celebration that followed at a nearby restaurant.

“She told me she loved me a lot and wanted to sit with me,” Magaña said. “I miss my little girl very much. People tell me she is in heaven, but I don’t want her in heaven. I want her here.”

• • •

Grecia suffered head trauma in the crash and was in a coma for two weeks. She has a metal plate in her cheek and scars on her right knee and back.

She sees a therapist once a week to cope with the loss of her sister. She and Osmara were inseparable, their parents said. They used to play with their dolls together, watch “Hannah Montana,” and talk at night until they fell asleep.

Grecia would cry every night after the crash, and said she didn’t want to be home without Osmara. She told her mother she didn’t have anyone to play with.

“She was my best friend,” said Grecia, now 9. “I miss her a lot.”

• • •

Sometimes, Magaña sits in the living room of the family’s second-story apartment, just thinking about her “smart, witty and loving” daughter. Sometimes, she tries to sleep away her physical and emotional pain from the crash.

She says there’s no more music in the apartment. No more dancing, no more laughter. Only pain and sorrow.

“I feel like I’m going to see her,” she said. “I feel like she is going to come home.”

She and Meza have been married for 14 years but say the death of their youngest daughter has shaken their relationship. The stages of grief don’t necessarily follow in strict order – denial, anger, bargaining, depression – but both agree they are far from the final stage, acceptance that Osmara is gone.

The tragedy “tore me to pieces,” Meza says. He struggled to stay strong for his surviving daughter and wife, but fell into a deep depression that he still struggles to overcome. During his darkest moments, he began drinking and felt that the world was collapsing around him.

He drives through the intersection where Osmara was killed almost every day. He always makes the sign of the cross.

The pain of his daughter’s loss hits him every time he comes through the front door after a day at work. His girls used to hide behind the door when they heard him coming, and Osmara always wanted a piggyback ride around the living room.

The family hasn’t washed the clothes that Osmara wore before she died. On the bad days, Meza smells them to feel close to her.

“He says they still smell like her,” Magaña said with a smile. “He doesn’t want to wash them.”

• • •

Magaña couldn’t bring herself to visit her daughter’s grave for a year after the crash. “I still think it’s not true,” she said. “I feel I’m going to see her and we are always going to be together.”

The family now visits Osmara’s grave once a week and on special occasions. They bring flowers – usually pink and purple roses and pink carnations – and tell Osmara they will never forget her.

“I tell Osmara that she is always with us,” Magaña said. “You are with us at home and you will always be there. Don’t feel like we are leaving you, because you are always with us.”

Last month, they celebrated Grecia’s ninth birthday with balloons, a princess cake and music. She and Osmara were only a year and two days apart, so they had always had a joint birthday. This time, it was only Grecia laughing and playing in a purple Rapunzel dress glittering with organza and tulle.

The family celebrated Osmara’s birthday two days earlier, at a grave site decorated with butterfly balloons, a bouquet of roses and dandelions. Osmara found great joy in blowing fluffy dandelion seeds into the wind, her mother explained with a smile.

As they turned to leave Osmara’s grave, Meza gave his daughter a blessing, just like he did every time he left her side.

“In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.”

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