Honestly, I’m not even sure if this commercial was part of yesterday’s Super Bowl commercials. I missed the first quarter or so of the game on television, and all I know is that this was a finalist for Doritos’ annual SB commercial competition. It sounds like the winner was the creepy finger sucking commercial, so I’m giving an extra shout-out to the birthday commercial, which is equal parts silly and inappropriate. Let’s break it down:

Boring old dad looks eerily similar to Maps and Atlases singer Dave Davison. He also is goofy and acts like a silly little kid.

He suddenly pulls a dick move on his “son” (that kid looks nothing like the parents) and blows out the candles for a box of Doritos.

Around the age of eight, I was pretty much living in hell. That was a point in time when TV, movies, fireworks, and other kids all scared the crap out of me. I wouldn’t develop my love of spoofs and tolerance of horror films for eight years. I wouldn’t have a video game system for three years. Midget wrestling wouldn’t be on TV for ten years. During that time spent as a child, books were the best way for me to escape from the horrors of being a sheltered white boy. Hence, this post.

Now, to be perfectly honest, it’d be pretty easy for me to make a post with my five favorite books, put a mini-essay on why each one is more important that your children with that list, and then post it under my name and my name only. But what if Jackie wanted to tell the world about her favorite books? Or Trevor, or Emily? Jimmy doesn’t know how to read, so I’ll leave him out of that. I think you see where I’m getting at. Instead of four different posts all about the same thing, all of the authors are coming together and putting their opinions onto one big post. Follow us after the jump to see everyone’s top five favorite books!