Good Love vs. Bad Love

Is there a difference between Good and Bad Love?

Abso-freaking-lutely!

February is Teen Dating Violence awareness month. Did you know that 1 in 3 teens has been abused in a dating relationship?

ONE IN THREE!!

If you have kids, think about your child and two of their friends together. One of them is likely to have already been abused, or will be. I don’t know about you, but that’s just wrong to me on so many levels. I have a fourteen year old, and we talk about it often. I make sure she knows the signs of abuse, and I watch her carefully when she not only talks about herself, but about her friends.

Did you know that only 1 in 9 will seek help? WHAT? One in nine! And with that only 33% of abused teens have ever told anyone. So three out of 9 told someone, but those other two who didn’t get help probably made the person they told promise not to say anything. I mean, teens like secrets, and swearing on each others privacy, right? Oh, no!

Abuse isn’t something to keep secret. Nope. Not when you are 6, 12, 18, 23, 37, 49, or 70. Abuse is never okay to keep secret.

But let’s talk about some of the signs of Teen Dating Abuse. This is a list of WARNING SIGNS:

Checking your cell phone or email without permission (Digital Abuse)

Constantly putting you down

Extreme jealousy or insecurity

Explosive temper

Isolating you from family or friends (HUGE WARNING SIGN)

Making false accusations

Mood swings

Physically hurting you in any way

Possessiveness

Telling you what to do

Let me just give you a few facts to keep in mind:

Girls and young women between the ages of 16 and 24 experience the highest rate of intimate partner violence, almost triple the national average.

Among female victims of intimate partner violence, 94% of those age 16-19 and 70% of those age 20-24 were victimized by a current or former boyfriend or girlfriend.

Violent behavior often begins between the ages of 12 and 18.

So what do you do if you think your child, or your friends child is being abuse?

YOU SAY SOMETHING!!

To them, their parents, a teacher, someone who can help that young person see that what is happening is abusive and they do not deserve that. Because let’s face it, victims think they deserve it. I did. I know a lot of other survivors who say they thought the same thing. So we need to make sure they know they are not the cause, they are the victim.

Want more information? Check out http://www.loveisrespect.com where they talk in depth about dating violence and abuse. They have some great resources there, too! They also have a QUICK EXIT in case you’re a victim who is looking for help and your abuser shows up in the room.

Here are two quizzes they offer to see if you are in a healthy relationship or advice on how you can help.