Welp, You Can Officially Buy a Jon Snow–Inspired Dildo Sword

If you've ever found yourself watching Game of Thrones and thinking, "Damn, I could really orgasm to this," Geeky Sex Toys is here for you. The Australia-based company just released a dildo inspired by Jon Snow's sword—no, like his actual one—Longclaw. The dildo is aptly named "Game of Moans: Long Shaft" and is perfect for anyone looking to get it in the Westerosi way (that is to say, get impaled by a sword).

"Have you been dreaming of a long, thick shaft?" the product description reads. "You know nothin' until you've experienced orgasmic sensations with this dildo sword." According to Geeky Sex Toys, the sword's handle allows for maximum penetration and pleasure. Sounds promising, and I honestly wouldn't expect anything less from a sex toy inspired by a man who invented cunnilingus during his first sexual encounter.

The "Game of Moans: Long Shaft" dildo sword retails for $110 on the Geeky Sex Toys website, and it's one of a number of sexy Game of Thrones products on the market right now. If Winterfell isn't your style, you can purchase a bullet vibrator encased in a very Targaryen dragon egg container (also sold by Geeky Sex Toys). Or you can find some gnarly looking dragon vibrators through Bad Dragon, a company that specializes in, well, dragon-themed dildos.

If you time your purchase right, you might get your dildo sword in time to ensure that Jon Snow heads South in more ways than one during Sunday's finale. (OK, I'm done now.)