According to physics, nothing ever quite touches. When you lay your hand on something, there is a microscopic amount of space between the atoms of your hand and whatever you're touching... so no, officer, technically I'm not jacking off right now

I think you'd have to massively take that out of context to be offended by it (cue swathes of people who are suddenly outraged by it).
Also, is that spoofed? That's not the Beeb's usual font!?!?

Very interesting article though.

You're right. As it says in the link. its from CNN.

According to physics, nothing ever quite touches. When you lay your hand on something, there is a microscopic amount of space between the atoms of your hand and whatever you're touching... so no, officer, technically I'm not jacking off right now