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Covert Affairs is known for developing its stories quickly. Just when you decide to embrace a new character’s shiny hair and ability to rock a black leather jacket, it’s inevitable that a bullet will end up in a terminal place. For the record, I’m not talking about Security Pete.

McQuaid pays Auggie a visit and is immediately suspicious when he can’t find Pete. Auggie doesn’t answer his door. Annie doesn’t answer her phone. He wisely checks the alley (the go-to of bad-guy escape routes) and finds Auggie’s watch. McQuaid does what any man would do in this moment. He calls Joan.

Annie is in Germany forming an alliance with Olga. She may not trust Olga, but she definitely appreciates that Olga knows where Belenko is headed next. If they work together, their contact may lead them to Belenko so Olga can pop a cap in his designer suit.

Back at Langley, Joan is in full rescue mode. Calder uses his not-from-the-Apple-store iPad to zoom in on footage lifted from the building’s security camera. Hello there, Allen Langer! You remember Allen, right? He was the “dog walker” and mysterious McQuaid employee who interrupted this blessed moment:

Langer has Auggie. I hate him even more now.

The CIA is able to trace the van to a warehouse in Baltimore. McQuaid and Joan (who is wearing PANTS) pull up with 90 other agents and scour the place. The van is empty. But there is a body in the water. Poor Pete.

McQuaid puts two and two together. If Auggie isn’t anywhere to be found, the abductors never meant to kill him. He’s been smuggled out of the country by boat. He calls Annie to fill her in. We simply have no idea where Auggie could be. What we do know is McQuaid looks good in a bulletproof vest.

Annie freaks out at the news and calls an audible in regard to the “kill the bad guy” mantra. Annie wants to force Belenko to give up Auggie’s whereabouts. She approaches the contact, a neurologist, and blackmails him. If he doesn’t give her answers, she will tell Belenko he was a integral part of her assassination plan. The good doctor spills his guts. Belenko has a degenerative disease similar to ALS. The doctor administers regular spinal injections to alleviate his symptoms.

Perfect! Instead of the medicine, he can administer a drug that will knock Belenko out. What could be easier? Once Belenko passes out, all the doctor has to do is wave at the hidden camera, unlock the door to the joining room, and help Annie schlep the murderer to her car. Normally this wouldn’t be a problem, but since we’re dealing with a guy who has an incredibly high body count this season, Belenko quickly realizes that the doctor is up to no good. Annie busts through the door, grabs the syringe, and plunges it deep into Belenko’s neck. Olga takes out the two bodyguards, stuffs Belenko in a laundry cart, and wheels him to the garage. While Annie instructs the doctor to run far, far away, Olga single-handedly puts Belenko in the trunk of the car. Great hair and magically strong? She’s a keeper.

Somehow Sydney is still in the picture. I predict she will end up dead, but it’s not today. Her mission is to bug the Russian guy she’s been (ahem) servicing. After a little light choking, finagling, and flirting, she successfully completes her task. Joan and Calder arrange for the Russian to be kidnapped and make a deal with him.

Meanwhile, McQuaid tracks down a guy named Vostis who just happens to be very good at smuggling illegal things in and out of countries. Well-placed bribes and threatening to publicize where Vostis’ family lives give McQuaid the leverage he needs to find information about Langer. Money does make the world go round.

Back in Germany, Annie is really irritated that Olga is trigger-happy. It all makes sense when Olga tells her Belenko killed her husband. Annie promises Olga that she can do whatever she wants with Belenko after he gives her answers. They zip-tie Belenko to a chair in a safe house, and Annie begins her interrogation. Belenko remains calm. When Annie slowly starts to lose it, Olga steps in. She breaks a finger or two and spikes Belenko’s hand as she unleashes an emotional flood of pain and anger. The only thing they learn is Auggie is still alive. For now.

Annie takes a call from Ryan. Bad news. Langer did leave the country, but suddenly arranged for travel to Germany. His plane just landed. Ryan instructs Annie to leave the safe house. She assures him they weren’t followed. Suddenly, a gunshot rings out.

Annie runs into the room and finds Olga with a hammer in her hand and a tracking device on the floor. She whacked Belenko so hard that it flew out of his mouth. There’s no time to comment on the convenience of this news, because Langer has arrived and is firing shots. One lands in Olga’s stomach. Annie grabs her and runs out the door, leaving Belenko. They rush into the neighbor’s apartment to hide. Once the coast is clear, Annie turns and finds Olga dead on the floor.

Calder and Joan scored tons of interesting files from the Russian guy. Through this intel, they assume that Belenko has taken Auggie to Chechnya. They hire Annie and McQuaid to bring Auggie home. Cut to Auggie sitting beside a train track as Belenko walks up to him.

Auggie: Why did you bring me out here? Why didn’t you just kill me like the rest of them?Belenko: Because you have something I want.

Expression Of JoyThe Brady Bunch: Groovy! The Bradys: Ritual hugging Married…With Children: ”Oh, great.” Thirtysomething: ”Of course I’m happy for you. Really. But what about me? Why does it always have to be about you? The Flintstones: ”Yabba-dabba doo

Expression Of Rage

The Brady Bunch: ”Hmmm…” The Bradys: ”If you back away from something you really want, then you’re a quitter!” (the angriest any Brady has ever been) Married…With Children: ”Aaagh, God, take me from this miserable life!” Thirtysomething: ”I’m not angry, OK?” The Flintstones: ”Willllmaaaa!”

Typical ProblemThe Brady Bunch: Marcia and her rival both want to be the prom queen. The Bradys: Bobby gets paralyzed. Married…With Children: Al doesn’t buy his family Christmas presents. Thirtysomething: Nancy gets cancer. The Flintstones: Fred and Barney are staying out too late.

Typical SolutionThe Brady Bunch: The prom committee decides to have two queens. The Bradys: Bobby gets married. Married…With Children: They hate him. Thirtysomething: If only we knew… The Flintstones: Wilma and Betty decide to follow them.

Attitude Toward SexThe Brady Bunch: Never heard of it The Bradys: Omigod — even Cindy does it! Married…With Children: Peg: Yes. Al: No. Thirtysomething: They didn’t get all those kids by accident. The Flintstones: Prehistoric

How Spouses FightThe Brady Bunch: They don’t. The Bradys: Infrequently, but it happens Married…With Children: Tooth and nail Thirtysomething: They stop talking The Flintstones: Fred and Barney go bowling while Wilma and Betty max out their charge cards.

How Kids Get Into TroubleThe Brady Bunch: Greg takes a puff of a cigarette. The Bradys: Carol’s grandson steals her business cards and sticks them in the spokes of Bobby’s wheelchair. Married…With Children: By committing felonies Thirtysomething: Ethan plays with a forbidden toy rocket. The Flintstones: They don’t.

How They’re Punished

The Brady Bunch: ”It’s not what you did, honey — it’s that you couldn’t come to us.” The Bradys ”Next time, ask.” Married…With Children: By the authorities Thirtysomething: It blows up in his face. The Flintstones: They’re not.

What Family Does For FunThe Brady Bunch: Takes special three-part vacations to Hawaii and the Grand Canyon The Bradys: Has flashbacks Married…With Children: Exchanges insults Thirtysomething: Talks The Flintstones: Attends showings of The Monster at the Bedrock Drive-In

Unsolved MysteriesThe Brady Bunch: How exactly did Carol’s first husband and Mike’s first wife die? The Bradys: What’s with Marcia’s new face and Bobby’s blonde hair Married…With Children: What kind of hair spray does Peg use? Thirtysomething: Why did Nancy take Elliot back? What do Gary and Susanna see in each other? The Flintstones: How does Barney’s shirt stay on if he has no shoulders? Where do Fred and Wilma plug in their TV?

Worst BehaviorThe Brady Bunch: The Brady children once made Alice feel under-appreciated.

Best Reason To WatchThe Brady Bunch: This is what life should be. The Bradys: They’re all grown-ups now! Married…With Children: Terry Rakolta hates it. Thirtysomething (Tie) This is your life. This isn’t your life. The Flintstones: This is what life might have been.

Best Reason Not To WatchThe Brady Bunch: Blurred vision from rerun overdoses. The Bradys: You’re all grown-ups now. Married…With Children: She has a point. Thirtysomething: After a while, you think it’s real. The Flintstones: The Simpsons