What the hell am I doing?

Wednesday, 12 January 2011

Hello.Long time ay? I apologise for the lack of posts. Not that anyone particularly reads this or is interested for that matter.Ermm, not much has changed really, which I guess, is good. Cause I don't like change.So not much to update y'all on. Got exams at the minute. And I really can't be bothered with them xD they're just irritating, quiet, stressful, headache prone times. The sports hall (where we take the exams) annoys me. Its ALWAYS cold in there. We're too tightly packed in. Its too quiet for too long. Theres always one person with a cough. My stomach always rumbles as they tend to place exams at 1.20 which is normally lunch. Cunts. I want coursework. Personal things; haven't really changed. I don't particularly know what my heads doing. Again, no change there. I feel a bit suffocated, not by anyone. Its no ones fault. The fault is me, well, the decisions I make. I mean, I think the decisions I've made have led to me kinda having a lack of control. For fear of hurting anyone or hurting myself. I don't let ANYONE in. Thats my decision and I have to deal with that. So, what I don't get is how I can feel suffocated without anyone actually being involved. If you know what I mean.I told you I was a fucked up child. Baaaaha. :)Anyway. I'm fine.

Sunday, 24 October 2010

Thursday, 21 October 2010

I'd love some ideas on what to write about, it could be anything; a question, a topic, deep crap or advice (i suck at advice though, be warned) So yeah, if any 5 of you that read this could gimme something that'd be lovely.

So in this entry imma write my favourite lyrics from songs; most of them are Eminem.

He rambles too much, but his lyrics are pretty brilliant and really relative to my life. He's a poet.

'This will be my last confession, 'I love you' never felt like any blessing. Whispering like its a secret, only to condemn the one who hears it, with a heavy heart' - Florence and the Machine - Heavy In Your Arms.

'You don't get another chance, life is no nintendo game' - Eminem - Love The Way You Lie.

'Have you ever loved someone so much, you'd give an arm for? Not the expression, no, literally give an arm for. When they know they're your heart and you know you wear their armour and you will destroy anyone who will try to harm her. But what happens when karma turns right around and bites you and everything you stand for turns on you, despite you. What happens when you become the main source of the pain, 'Daddy look what I made', 'Dads gotta go catch a plane'' - Eminem - When I'm Gone.

'And when i'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn and rejoice everytime you hear the sound of my voice. Just know that, I'm looking down on you smiling. And I cannot feel a thing, so baby don't feel no pain, just smile back' - Eminem - When I'm Gone.

'I'm supposed to be the soldier, who never blows his composure. I know I hold the weight of the hold world on my shoulders. I ain't even supposed to show it, my crew ain't supposed to know it' - Eminem - Like Toy Soldiers.

'And even though the battle was won, I feel like we lost it. I spent too much energy on it, honestly i'm exhausted. And i'm so caught in it, I almost feel like i'm the one who caused it' - Eminem - Like Toy Soldiers.

Tuesday, 12 October 2010

I've started writing a diary.I told my dad that I started writing one. He asked me why I began in the first place. I couldn't answer him. I don't know. Then he said its either because something changed in your life, you feel like you have no one to talk to or you're upset or sad.I reckon its a mixture of them all.I mean, I can hardly call it a diary as such, cause its not what i've done in the day. Its how I feel about things that have happened ages ago. Basically a massive rant about people I adore or dislike. Theres one person that tends to pop up quite frequently, which is odd. Its a he. OMFG right? xD Anyway hes like. cool. So I just ramble about his coolness. Then theres a loada shiteee about my friends, family and shiz. My friends = good stuff, about how incredibly amazing they all are. Family = ok stuff, about how annoying yet amazing they are.I don't know what to call it. Its like a blog but not online and no one can read it :)It makes me sad that you're sad.

Saturday, 2 October 2010

MEET ME HALFWAY xD~anywho.hello.i was just thinking how complicated life is.scrap that.how complicated i make my life.~I need to grow up.~I wish everything could be simple. The world would pretty much rock that way.

So murderers, instead of pleading not guilty, just plead guilty and get the whole thing over and done with. So wars, just end. Just someone make a decision to all be content with each other and end.So love, people should make up their minds, love that person, die together, and voila.So death, instead of dragging it on with painful, pointless things like cancer, just die quickly, to save all the pain.So personal statements, please come into Frans mind so that she can scribble it all down and get into Uni.So poverty, why doesn't someone fly a plane to africa and drop pencils from the sky so that the kids can actually write. Or drop chocolate bars and walkers crisps so that they won't die of hunger.So natural disasters, whats the point. Stop being so natural.

Wednesday, 29 September 2010

So enough of the nice blogs. That's not really why I started this whole blogging thing. I blog to moan, and no one needs to listen, its your choice if you read this. I was intending my audience to be complete strangers. No judgement. Just me ranting.

So I will continue to rant, and if you don't like it. PISS OFF xD

Nice weather we're having ayy. I love England.

Anyway, I was thinking today that its really ridiculous to make assumptions. Some assumptions are of course, correct, but if you assume something that is incorrect then that's just very judgemental. I assume, I'm not saying I don't. I'm stupid. Baha. But what really annoys me is rumours. Like, why do people start them? What is the point? ESPECIALLY when you don't know the person you're spreading shit about.

That ticks me off.

That drives me up the wall.

That does my head in.

And also when people assume/spread if someone's gay or straight or bi etc.. ITS NONE OF ANYONES BUSINESS BUT THAT PERSON.

Sunday, 26 September 2010

So, after a few people have noticed how ridiculously depressing my last few blogs were i've decided to do a very very happy blog.

SMMMMMILE EVERYONE :D

Yeah, so erm apart from having a pissing cold and cough i'm feeling fine and dandy really. Not gonna lie, a few things could be better. But lifes never perfect so i'm very much content :)

I well love Saturday nights on the Tv. I watched walk on the wild side followed by total celebrity wipeout followed by the x factor followed by Qi and then went on Facebook for approximately 3 hours xD. I love staying in on a Saturday night :)

I have SO MUCH homework. Not happy about that tbh. A french essay, 18374 shoots to do in photography with 0 models, an english chapter to read and i CBA to do any of the above. I'm so passing A2.