Recap: 'Survivor: Philippines' - 'Gouge My Eyes Out'

Pre-Credit sequence. Anybody remember who went home last week? Anybody? OK. Fine. It was Carter. Man-Dana? That other guy who was out there who isn't there anymore? Nevermind. It's back to DangRayne for the Final 5. "Thanks for keeping me, guys," Abi tells everybody, as if an active choice had been made to validate her very existence. "I am over the moon," she tells us, before the editors cut to the moon to show what Abi is not, in fact, over. Abi's unsure if anybody buys her Fantasy Immunity Idol, but she's planning to keep fantasizing. "This game isn't fair," says Blair Warner, who has now fully embraced her "I'd rather go to the end with somebody I can beat" revised ethos. This ethos is concerning Malcolm, who knows that if Blair Warner's head is in the game, she's dangerous going forward. Foreshadowing?

"99 Problems (But Abi[tch] Ain't One)." It's Day 34. Everybody's very concerned about whether Carter is better rested over at Ponderosa. That's sweet, I guess? Abi departs to get water and everybody mocks her in absentia. Malcolm is amused by the "cock-and-bull" story that Abi continues to perpetrate the Fantasy Idol and everybody else sounds equally aware of the fraud. Abi's goal is to break up the Denise-Malcolm alliance, which is exactly what I was saying they should have considered last week. When Malcolm and Denise go wandering, Abi goes over to Blair Warner and whispers in her ear, Iago-style, that she's at the bottom of the Alliance of 4. "I don't believe Abi for a second," Blair Warner insists, though she's determined to continue to use Abi, even if it's "Yucky." I wonder if Abi is a better liar in Portuguese than in English, because in English, she's a desperately poor liar. Blair Warner, meanwhile, thinks she's in control of her destiny and she's biding her time before her big move.

Chutes and ladders. Let's play for Reward. Players have to race up and over a slide into the ocean to collect a bundle of rings and then toss those rings onto a series of posts. Wanna know what they're playing for? The winner gets a helicopter ride to a pizza party on a boat, plus shark-watching. Plus, the winner gets to take two friends to tag alone. Everybody agrees that's worth playing for.The challenge looks like a lot of fun, particularly the slide. Or at least it looks fun the way everybody other than Blair Warner does it. Skupin dominates from the beginning and has a big advantage up to the rings. Malcolm makes it close, but Skupin wins Reward. Skupin jokes that his last chopper ride was when he was evacuated. Who's going with him? Skupin thanks Malcolm for letting Skupin Jr. come back to camp last week. And because the alternative would be a disaster, he also takes Blair Warner. "Abi, you look heartbroken," Probst tells the pouting Abi.

The Odd Couple. Ha. Abi and Denise. What fun they shall have. Abi is still whining, calling herself "crushed." Denise tries to remain optimistic, even though Abi tells us that she's "a horrible person." "It's like the first date with the kid who pulled your hair in kindergarden," Denise says slightly weirdly. And Abi just keeps on whining. "I'm literally the swing vote here," says the confused Brazilian. "You never know what's going to happen at Immunity," Abi says, somewhat more accurately, before ruining things by mentioning her Fantasy Idol. Denise prays for needles with which to gouge her eardrums.

Cage goes in the water? You go in the water? Skupin's in the water. Our Skupin. Did we not even see the helicopter ride? That sucks. Instead, we pick up with the winners, who are enjoying pizza and soft drinks -- or "Pop" as Skupin calls it -- and cookies. We learn now that Skupin doesn't normally eat sugar and that when he does eat sugar he becomes, in Malcolm's words, "like a drunk chick in a bar." Soon, Blair Warner is doing cookie shots off of Skupin's flipper and Malcolm observes that Skupin has become fun to be with. I kinda hope he gets eaten by a shark. The guide finds marine life for them and then they get pushed into the water with flippers and sent to swim with whale sharks. Gracious. Malcolm's petting the darned thing. That's crazy. "A whale shark head-butted Michael Skupin," says an excited Malcolm, who also hopes Skupin gets eaten by a shark. Strategy time, though: Intriguing. Malcolm's argument to his two well-fed chums is that nobody beats Denise at the end. Malcolm figures his best chance to win is to go to the Final 3 with Blair Warner and Skupin. For his part, Skupin smartly recognizes that aligning with Malcolm might actually help him, since Malcolm is always an Immunity threat and would bring him along. Words are given and they agree they're all going to the Final 3. But Blair Warner is prepared to go against the deal she just made, if necessary.

She lives beyond the grace of God, a wanderer in the outer darkness. She is vampyr, nosferatu. MONKEY! Everybody's back together at camp. Something weird is happening with Denise's face. She has a stinging pain radiating through her whole neck. There are fang marks on her neck, which is pretty freaky. Maybe Abi's a vampire? "There's stuff everywhere out here," Denise says after listing the jungle's wildlife. Blair Warner's solution is to pray for Denise's venom. Abi feels bad, but she's mostly relieved. "I came here not to be feeling bad for other people. I came to win a million dollars," Abi says. Well, OK! That's just what Dracula would say if he were playing "Survivor." When he wasn't saying, "Oh God, the sun! The sun!"

Malcolm is A-Mazing. Immunity is back up for grabs. Denise is still a wreck and Abi is ready to go after this opportunity. Players have to cross a rope bridge using planks and collecting puzzle pieces and... stuff. Malcolm has a lead, but tumbles off the bridge, giving the advantage to Skupin, Blair Warner and Denise. Lagging way behind, Malcolm's putting in a lot of effort to finish last in an Immunity challenge that he doesn't need. Skupin fails on the puzzle. Denise fails at the puzzle. And suddenly Malcolm's back in it. In fact, suddenly, Malcolm finishes the maze, passes the ball through it and claims the Immunity he didn't need. So now he's safe and he can protect the person of his choosing. That's a ton of power for one Malcolm. Denise thinks the night's vote will be a slam-dunk against Abi. But is it?

Truth or Blair. Stay away from the fire, Skukin! A little spark pops up and Skupin curls up in a ball. Abi is tired and hungry and emotionally weak, but she vows to keep on fighting. Going to Skupin, she says that bringing her to Final 3 is his best chance of winning. "You have to consider every scenario," Skupin says and acknowledges a certain amount of sense to Abi's plan. He's prepared to tolerate Abi if it means winning a million, going to Blair Warner with his contemplations. And Blair Warner loves the idea of going to the Final 3 with Skupin and Abi. Of course, as intelligence would dictate, Denise goes to Malcolm and lobbies for use of his Immunity Idol. "If the situation calls for it," he hedges. "I really have no intention of giving Denise the Idol," he tells us, predicting he'll give the Idol to his mom. Blair Warner makes an interesting point: She'd rather go to the end with Abi, but she REALLY doesn't want to go to the end with Malcolm, so she may want to keep Denise because she'd be more of a threat against Malcolm than Abi will be in a final Immunity Challenge. This is an interesting point. I don't know if it's a GOOD point. But it's interesting. "Tonight's decision, for me, is based purely on strategy," Blair Warner says.

Tribal Council. Asked about the lay of the land, Blair Warner credits Abi with reasonable arguments. Jeff Probst insults Abi for a while, before saying she'd be good to take to the end. Abi agrees and says everybody can beat her. "Definitely. If that's the way you want to play the game of 'Survivor,'" Denise acknowledges. Probst tries giving Abi credit, but Denise figures it's about luck. Blair Warner takes offense at taking Denise's comments out of context. I'm not 100 percent sure, but I think Blair Warner's rant at Denise was completely for the benefit of the Tandang folks on the jury, which makes it semi-brilliant. Go Blair Warner. Abi repeats, again, that nobody's going to beat Denise or Malcolm. "Lisa or Skupin are not winning this game," Abi says, before calling Skupin an idiot. "You're a moron," Abi says when Skupin tries talking. This is the smartest Abi has played all game. "I came this far, I would like to at least make it to Final 3," Abi says, before Malcolm says that her strategy has won a million dollars. Abi agrees that she's a loudmouth, criticizing Denise for playing the game just to "make friends."

The Vote. Abi writes Denise's name and says, "You're patronizing. You're judgmental. You're just not a good person." Denise writes Abi's name. [From the Jury, Penner seems to be flipping somebody -- the editing suggests either that it's Abi or that she's amused -- off.] Nobody plays any Idols, real or fake. Probst tallies: Denise. Abi. Abi. Abi. That's it for ABI. "Good luck to all of you," Abi says. As they exit, Skupin does a happy dance. Did somebody give that guy more sugar? "After the Merge, I was targeted as the Crazy Latina," Abi says. "I guess they beat me on my big Brazilian ass," she cracks.

Bottom Line: It was a pretty good strategic episode. I like that we've reached this point in the season and nearly everybody appears to be playing a solid long-term game. Oddly, the exception appears to be Denise, who may or may not actually believe the stuff she's been saying about playing the game a certain way and going to the end with strong people. If Denise is thinking about making any sort moves against or around Malcolm, the editors haven't shown us. Since Denise has been strategically active throughout, I won't begrudge her potential laziness here, especially since she was bitten by a vampire. But Malcolm and Blair Warner and even Skupin appear to be thinking and planning, which could make for an interesting finale. Heck, even Abi kinda had her thinking cap on tonight and even if she played the, "I'm repellant and Denise and Malcolm are Gods" card a little hard, it was literally the only card she had, so what was the harm in reminding everybody how repellant she was? I give her full credit for going out with strategic gusto, even if she'd dug herself such a deep hole that there was no game she could really play. I think she went into Tribal knowing that she had zero chance of swaying Skupin and Blair Warner, so she had to go gung-ho. Or maybe I'm giving Abi too much credit [for the first time]. Maybe there actually was wiggle room and she made Skupin realize that five more days with her wouldn't be worth a million? Dunno. If Malcolm and Denise were smarter, they might have considered stabbing Skupin or Blair Warner in the back at this Tribal Council. As Blair Warner's Pro-Tandang rant reminded us, Tandang has a lot of power on that Jury and it could be enough power to give Blair Warner or Skupin a huge advantage that Denise and Malcolm may not be able to overcome. But we'll see on Sunday!

What'd you think of tonight's episode? Who's in the best position for Sunday? Who are you rooting for?

A long-time member of the TCA Board and a longer-time blogger of "American Idol," Dan Fienberg writes about TV, except for when he writes about movies or sometimes writes about the Red Sox. But never music. He would sound stupid talking about music.

Comments

Option 1

Option 2

Option 3

I've been saying it for weeks so I'll say it again, I don't see any way Blair Warner wins this game and now I'm convinced she won't by booting Abi. She had an argument against Skupin, but now having to face Malcolm or Denise takes away any leverage she had. Who is possibly voting for her? I would say RC is her only possible vote IF Skupin doesn't make final 3. Other than that I would suspect Penner, Carter, Pete, Artis, Abi, and Jeff Kent are firmly in the Malcolm/Denise camp.

I would be absolutely floored if she won. Regardless if her celeb past comes up. The move tonight for her would have been to boot Denise. She would have lost a jury vote, but could have had a story for the Jury about why she deserves to win (playing to win, outwit, kept word until had to backstab, blah blah blah). Not to mention Denise is a rational person so she could have gotten her vote back at the final tribal with a solid argument.

Does anyone ever tell people "if you vote me out I will poison the jury pool and make sure you don't win?" I haven't seen anyone use that tactic for a few seasons.

Do we know if it is Final 2 or Final 3 for this one? With four left and two hours on Sunday, I can see this going down to a Final 2. If that is the case then Lisa can win if she brings Skupin with her to the final. She cannot win with Malcolm or Denise. And either Malcolm or Denise beat Skupin. The only tough call is if it's Malcolm and Denise that make the Final 2. I do see Malcolm and Denise trying to get rid of the other one before a final vote as I am pretty sure they know that they can both beat either Lisa or Skupin.

The standard two hour finale has two immunity challenges. They start at 5, immunity, tribal, 4, immunity, tribal, Final 3. So a standard finale episode would put them at a Final 2. It seems like Dana leaving threw them off, but I'd like to see a Final 2...they'll probably just do one immunity and a Final 3 though (Probst mentioned a final 3 in his interview with Dalton Ross on ew.com last week).

We could also be getting a fire-making tiebreaking contest in the Final Four, which would add a chunk of time that isn't normally accounted for. The original vote, the re-vote, and then the actual firemaking contest.

I'd like to think Skupin has a chance, but there was that faction in Tandang that hated him (for reasons that weren't made totally clear). Jeff Kent also has some weird thing against returning players. Malcolm will probably win it.

In this case with the players returning because of injury I don't see the big deal, but whatever. At one point Pete said Skupin was the worst returning player in the history of Survivor with no real context around it. Obviously a lot of Tandang hated Skupin but the only thing the producers showed us was them upset with him over the challenge rice trade off.

@Dan, this is Penner's third go-round, which could explain Kent's bad attitude, though he said in his interview with Dan that he wasn't as gung-ho about it as it was portrayed on TV (er, at least I think it was Dan's interview).

I was shaking my head in disbelief. I could not for the life of me figure out what Abi's "strategy" was in tribal tonight. But I guess the feeling is she wanted to be a bitch to show she would be worth taking to the finals. I guess that was one way to go about it. I think i would have tried to be nicer and explain the reasoning rather than antagonizing the tribe. I wonder if anyone changed their mind tonight about their votes? It was a pretty good edit and I wouldn't have been surprised if it went against Denise.

I don't think it was a good decision though. You knew where you stood with Abi but this final 4 is a wild card. If it were me I would want a more predictable outcome. I could deal with G(Abi) for a few more days.

I've met people like Abi before. People without filters who say whatever comes to their mind. I wish someone would sit her down and explain that people dislike her because of that. It's got nothing to do with being honest and people not being able to handle such frank honesty. That girl ain't right.

Good episode though. I'd be happy if Michael, Denise or Malcolm won. For some reason though I don't want Blair to win.

I would like to see Malcolm win, but the only chance he has of getting to final 3 is to win next immunity and that is not a certainty. Both Denise and skupin are capable of winning immunity against him. If he doesn't win it both Blair and skupin will vote him out.

If he doesn't make final 3 I would like to see Denise win. I appreciate what Malcom and Denise have done in this game. Both of them integrated seamlessly into their new tribes by based on their social skills and physical abilities. Skupin's cluelessness has been frustrating and Blair is a female Branden Hantz.

I wouldn't say Blair is like Brandon. At least, we haven't seen her obsess over someone who clearly hits her sexual triggers, as Brandon did over what's-her-name. She is one hell of a god-botherer, though.

I thought Abi was making too much sense tonight for Blair or Skupin to comprehend, as much as they say they're now focused on winning, they certainly haven't acted like it. They (B/S) clearly don't see Denise as a threat to win and are focused solely on Malcolm, which could be problematic.

Blair and her jury pandering has me worried. First she had Skupin make the tough choice and betray Artis/Abi/Pete so she can still save face and "be loyal" and now her ridiculous rant bout luck and Team Yellow. Ugh. I'mma be mad when she wins.

Blair's big worry is that people may find out she was a TV star. Penner knows it so he could have shared that info with the jury at Ponderosa. Skupin could throw her under the bus too if he needed an advantage at Final Tribal. If I were him I'd probably do that.

Even though it worked out, Malcolm should have played the idol this week for Denise. If Lisa/Skupin had turned on Denise and voted with Abi, it would have put him in a major disadvantage and forced him to win immunity. Not only would he have ensured Denise's presence next week to keep balance, but playing his idol for her would have bought some extra loyalty. Now he faces the same three people, only Denise knows in the back of her mind that Malcolm potentially left her in the crosshairs.

I think he really believed she was safe and that it was unnecessary to give her the idol. If he did give it to her and she played it, it would show that he didn't fully trust his alliance. So why play the idol for no reason?

Exactly, Mulderism - if he gives Denise the idol 24 hours after agreeing to a final 3 with Skupin and Lisa, what's that say about him? It didn't make sense. This way, he continues to let Lisa and Skupin think they are in control.

It completely unnecessary to keep the idol as it was the last night to play it, so by hanging on to it he basically told Denise all she needed to know about he loyalty to her. She now carries that into next week, with just much as opportunity to sway Lisa and Skupin to her side, and is a better physical threat than Abi to win immunity.

Had he given Denise the idol, he could have sold Lisa and Skupin on the idea that he was setting her up for the fall next week by making her as confident as possible in her relationship with Malcolm. Now he faces the same scenario with Lisa and Skupin, who had half a mind to turn on him and vote with Abi anyway, only Denise is less in his pocket than she could have been.

Malcolm should realize that he must win to make the finals. Any of the other 3 would be ignorant to take him. Really its a wash whether or not he gives Denise the idol. I'm guessing his thinking is that if Denise was to go home, they had a good enough relationship that he would still have her vote. Maybe he was less confident that by going against the final 3 with Lisa and Skupin, that he could potentially lose one of their votes.

I have no clue where anybody's jury vote will go other than Malcolm if he's there.

There are a lot of Tandang on the jury, but the only two remaining in the game were on the outs with those people, except maybe RC.

If I was to rank the chances of the 4 remaining, I'd say1. Malcolm2. Lisa3. Denise4. Skupin

The only reason I have Lisa over Denise is that if it came down do it, I am certain that Abi would vote Lisa over her or Skupin

I'm surprised they weren't warned about getting too close to the whale shark. Although they don't eat people, they can accidentally kill you with a swat of that massive tail. Of course, leave it to Skupin to get injured by a gentle giant, LOL.

So glad Abi is gone. I really want Malcolm or Denise to win, so I hope one of them gets immunity next week. Loved that Malcolm used the "goat" terminology--a true student of the game, that one.

The problem with trying to explain to Abi that her "honesty" needs filters is that she's also mean, so she probably wouldn't listen. I'm sooo glad she has to stay silent for most of the finale!

If they have a final 3 deal with Malcolm, then they should have wanted to vote out Denise before Abi.

Holding off to vote out Denise at #4, ONLY hurts Lisa/Skupin, and not Malcolm, considering:
1) Lisa/Skupin's chances of winning immunity are less vs Malcolm/Denise than Malcolm/Abi.
2) Denise is more likely to work with Malcolm (who they should and maybe do view as the #1 threat in the game). Abi is a complete wildcard, who has no alligance to Malcolm.

Nice job by Malcolm though, immediately changing the narrative of who the biggest target is onto Denise. Not sure if that is actually true or not, but he needed to try to get the spotlight off him.

Also, I'd be VERY worried about how former tandang jury lit up like xmas morning when Lisa was talking about how dominant and great their former tribe was. Will be interesting if Malcolm rethinks wanting Lisa out at #4 instead of Denise.

100000 percent agree about the Abi thing. Just stupid gameplay especially this late. As I said Denise is rational so you could get her vote back and wouldn't automatically be a lost jury vote.

That Tandang thing could also be editing in how they showed that. They didn't even show Denise's rebuttal (which I assumed she did) about how ABI was lucky to not go to tribal, not the rest of the group.

No one has yet to lay out who is voting for Lisa to get enough votes in any scenario besides going against Skupin one on one.

Duncan,
Agree with you on the possible edit at work. But it's pretty clear that Denise has only air time has been in regards to her explaining how Abi is annoying everyone, and nothing that would prove to viewers that she's a huge threat to win the game.

Which is obviously a disconnect from how Malcolm talks about her, and how Lisa/Skupin at the very least see Denise as the #2 biggest threat to win the game behind Malcolm.

But beyond Abi's spoiled brat routine, Penner's awesome sauce, and Lisa's crazy pants, it appears as though any storyline around Denise was sacrificed big time.

Based on the edit, it seems Denise is playing something close to what Sophie did to win last season, being the number 2 to the dominant player running the game, Malcolm (Sophie had Coach), and hoping that the jury will be angry over lies that they will vote for her instead. But I don't see Malcolm standing for "honor" and all that, like what doomed Coach in the eyes of the jury last season.

I think it goes to final 2, for reasons I stated above, so I've got.

Malcolm beats everyone.
Denise beats everyone, but Malcolm.
Skupin can only beat Lisa (but it will be close, based on the Tandang thing, which I'm definitely reading too much into).

As you said, I don't see how Lisa gets any votes from a jury member. I had Lisa as the least likely winner behind Abi last week, and that hasn't changed.

I will be very surprised if Lisa wins. Despite buttering up Tandang last night, I don't think she's got their votes locked up because of how wishy-washy she was, and how much they didn't like her when they were all on together. Plus, the thing about her being a big TV star back in the day should come out and I think it will hurt her significantly.

@Jobin00, I agree with your assessment of how it would go in all those scenarios.

I don't think that her secret past of being a child star is that big of a deal honestly.

She can easily explain that was a VERY long time ago (as evidence by only the 40+ people on the show knew who she was), and she doesn't have any money left over from that due to some combo or it not being that much money to begin with, her parents, etc.