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Friday, October 3, 2008

Friday, October 3, 2008

Some cake designs are so popular, I get to see all kinds of Wrecky variations. I'm having way too much fun with it, too; the other day I was positively giddy when I received my 5th Costco Princess & the Frog themed Wreck (stay tuned for that post). Yep, I need to get out more. In the meantime, though, let me share my Transformers Wrecks collection with y'all.

First, the "official" design, for reference:So no matter what, you know someone's going to have purple poo in the morning.

Here's Wreck #1, or as I like to call it, Magma Madness:

But, you know, orange magma... red flames: at least they're related.

Next, Wreck #2: the Crackling Blood Bath:

Kinda hurts to look at, doesn't it?

And finally, behind Wrecky Door #3:

The Bubbly Stuff That Would Not Be Named. I think it's growing, too; it seems to be creeping insidiously up over the inscription.

Beth W., Cades, & Jennifer N., your cakes may not have gotten their flames in icing, but at least they got flamed here on Wrecks. Eh?

If you took away the Optimus Prime truck... I don't know that I could have had a clue of what they were going for. That last one almost looks like the red coral thats a popular dainty pattern right now.. dainty and transformers just don't seem to mix!

I'm having flashbacks to watching Volcano. Because the only other thing that says "Wreck!" as much as the cakes you feature, is poorly executed disaster movie with completely unrealistic selflessness such as Drew Carey's TV brother jumping off a subway car into molton. hot. mag-ma. thereby killing himself to save a guy he can barely lift, yet somehow manages throw several feet ahead of him to safety as he's melting into the molton. hot. mag-ma.

so, the original cake appears the flames are airbrushed, yes?cake #1 did a pretty good job considering it was all frosting.cake #2 is the closest in regards to the airbrush technique. a BAD example of airbrushing. the colors are BLEEDING! ick.cake #3- eh. nice try, i guess. it DOES look like coral (as it's been pointed out).

So I did a google image search to see if I can find any advertising for this cake, see how Wal-mart are plugging it, or if I could find a well-executed version that someone was really pleased with by way of comparison.

And I found this:http://craighub.blogspot.com/2007/11/as-promised-worlds-ugliest-cake.html

Oh, the colors, and the hideous magma. And even in the original---shouldn't shooting flames come out of the truck---not toward the truck? Maybe a firetruck attacking the flames would be better? Brings new meaning to "Wrecks" as there was a car wreck somewhere to cause all those flames.

I think my favorite part here is that most of the "decoration" is created by sticking a postcard on the cake. Heck, I could do that, and I have no artistic ability whatsoever.

I'm sure it doesn't matter to the target age group for these cakes, but it seems kind of... I know! It somehow reminds me of those cheap Halloween costumes where the shirt has a picture of whatever it is. Hello? If I want to dress as, let's say, Tinkerbell, I want a floofy tutu and wings. I do not want a shirt with a PICTURE of Tinkerbell on it. That is not "dressing up as" Tinkerbell. Does Tinkerbell go around with a picture of herself on her shirt? Well, she's not Paris Hilton, so, no. I know it's not exactly the same concept, but this is nevertheless the cake equivalent.

One problem with those grocery store-ordered cakes is that the customer wants it to look EXACTLY LIKE THE PICTURE. Unfortunately, as most people know, red icing is near impossible- if you get a deep red color, it's bitter and stains teeth, children, clothing, and even dog poo. If reddening buttercream isn't bad enough, try it with whipped icing that most cheap stores use. I would guess that is why orange and other ugly red variations are used.

The second cake brings back vague and terrifying memories of the movie they showed us in driver's ed. Optimus is just sitting there so smugly amid the carnage.

@kansas girl - you're right about the stupid postcard. It's like those awful Halloween costumes they used to make with the stupid mask and then a plastic smock with artwork of the character. Which wasn't at all the same thing as dressing up as the character but it was good on the cheap. Which I think is what these cakes are going for...

Oh my goodness... when I first saw this post, I thought the "official design" was going to be the wreck. I ordered a Transformers cake for my stepson's 4th birthday in April, and what I got was pretty close to that (I know I've got a picture of it someplace).

I HATED IT!! I mean... a postcard stuck in the cake? For what I paid for it, I could have done better than that myself!

Looking at the wrecks of this cake, I can see that they are indeed awful. But I gotta tell ya - the original design of this one wasn't a big winner either.

I feel sorriest for poor Kenny. Back when I was about his age, the boys at the party would have looked at something like that and laughed wildly and said "Should I, or have I?" and then make noises I have since come to associate with my cat working on a furball.

OMG, did these poor people actually pay for the cakes? Do people mention that when they submit photos? I think I would pay for #1 (even though the orange flames are kinda puffy looking) but definitely not the other two.

(Shamefaced look) I ordered this cake for my son this year- well, actually, he picked it out, those colors and food just... eek. Luckily they did a decent job with it though, nothing like these wrecks.

I will testify that the blue dye does NOT come off of fingers and, er, cough, the "aftereffects" ended up dark green. For a week. o.O

omg- my ex had this cake for my son this year for his 5th birthday- and it was effing terrible!! my ex complained (they even wrote 'rickey and jay' when my son's name is 'rickey jay') and ended up getting the cake for free. hot mess, for sure.

Look at the first stab at the reference cake. You see how the "flames" are seemingly spewing from Optimus? It looks like he's vomiting orange soda, hitting the edge of the cake and splashing back at him.

The sadest part about this one is that my mother ordered this from Wal-Mart for my brother's 8th birthday party a few weeks ago. They put her order in for the wrong week (the week after the party) so it wasn't done when she went to pick it up. In 5 minutes, while she waited for it, they created the cake EXACTLY as it looks in that promo shot. So how did those wreckerators manage to screw it up?!

Ha, my boyfriend got that cake this year from a Safeway in Tacoma, and, amazingly enough, it looked almost exactly like it was supposed to! I was quite impressed, and it almost distracted me fromt he fact that he was getting a Transformer's cake for his 18th birthday...

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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

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