The 10 People You’ll Encounter at Your Office Christmas Party

One of the reasons we love the holidays so much is that there are tons of ways we can celebrate. Ugly Christmas sweater parties probably rank at the top of our favorites, just because wearing the ugliest cardigan ever in the name of holiday spirit is strangely fun. So what ranks towards the bottom of our favorites list? Office parties.

People at work are nice and all, it’s just that it’s not the best thing in the world spending a Friday night with coworkers who totally don’t want to be there either. Wait– we take that back; there’s always that one crazy lady who gets the party going with her awful spaz attack dance moves, so at least there’s that entertaining part.

Not all attendees are so bad, but these celebrations can sometimes stink. That’s why we think it’s just best you’re totally prepared beforehand, because you might come across that awkward newbie or drunken dame with no warning, and things can get weird. Fast. Before you head out to that office Christmas party, get ready to keep an eye out for these 10 people.

THE GUY WHO DOESN’T WANT TO BE THERE

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There’s always that one office party pooper who doesn’t take part in any sort of celebrations. It’s that person who refuses to hide in the office kitchen to surprise someone on their birthday and never bakes cookies for the holiday cookie exchange. It’s a complete mystery why this guy even showed up to the company Christmas bash in the first place, but regardless, his Debbie downer demeanor is still kickin’, and everyone around him just feels awkward.

THE DRUNKEN DAME

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A few glasses of wine and a couple of shots in, the thirsty lady of the party lets her wild child side loose pretty early in the night, which would be totally fine… if she wasn’t partying with her coworkers. We’re all about having tons of fun, but it’s probably not the best idea to have a heart-to-heart with the big boss when she’s heading toward tipsy town.

THE AWFUL DANCER

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Dancing in front of any sort of crowd takes a lot of guts, so we have to give it to anyone who’s brave enough to take on the challenge. The office Christmas party might not be the ideal place to bust some creative moves, though. There’s always that one courageous soul who starts boppin’ around to ‘Jingle Bell Rock,’ which soon turns into a full-on spaz attack dance everyone feels super awkward watching, and tries not to be the first one to laugh at. Resist the temptation, people. Resist the temptation.

THE AWKWARD NEWBIE

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Most companies have a couple of newbies they add to the mix every year. They’re at least 10 years younger than the rest of the office, which is awesome for keeping party poopers and office grandmas youthful! But when it comes time to socializing with coworkers, this can become a bit of a problem. The twenty-something has very little to zero things in common with most of the office workers, and so at the holiday gathering, he or she just stands around like a lost puppy. It’s weird.

THE MYSTERIOUS DUDE

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He’s quiet, unassuming and downright elusive. We’re talking about that dude who shows up to the party that we didn’t even knew worked for the company. He’s usually hiding in the corner mysteriously hoarding the chocolate chip cookies or standing by the doorway scanning the room for what seems like hours. Do we know his name? Nope. Have we ever even seen him before? Not a chance.

THE OFFICE GRANNY

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Grandmas are the best. Office grandmas are even greater, because they’re like in-house spirit lifters when we’re having an awful day at work. It’s that adorable older woman who’s been working with the company longer than we’ve been alive, and she’s the one who baked those five dozen chocolate chip cookies, 10 banana breads and even more pumpkin loaf for the office party. Grandma’s adorable and she feeds us. It can’t get any better than that!

THE SUPER SERIOUS BOSS

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It’s understandable a boss has to act like a boss in most situations, but the office party doesn’t have to completely be one of those times. We don’t mean he has to get all drunk on us and go cry under a desk with a bottle of wine in hand, but let loose a little bit dude! Unfortunately, the super serious boss always keeps things super serious, so there’s no crackin’ this one. Party chit chat just turns into a robotic exchange and we always end up feeling like that awkward newbie.

THE INAPPROPRIATE SANTA

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It’s not a true Christmas party without a Santa appearance, right? Although most times, he has a semi creepy vibe going on. We have no idea who the dude is either. Santa might get a little too friendly with the ladies and his breathe smells like cigarettes, so everyone is left wondering if Santa is actually the man from the North Pole or the guy who got fired last month for…well, getting a little too friendly with the ladies.

THE SECRET COUPLE

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Everyone always seems a little bit more friendly at the office party (except for the guy who doesn’t want to be there and the mysterious dude and… the boss), so it’s not all that suspicious at first when Mike from Accounting appears to be getting cozy with Sarah from Sales. They’ve been talking all night, definitely flirting and wait– are they leaving together?! We knew they were a thing! Ok– we didn’t know, but playing love detective at the party distracts us from the boring parts.

THE DESSERT HOARDER

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If there’s one really awesome thing about office Christmas parties, it’s the desserts. Granny has baked like, hundreds of cookies and dozens of breads, so why the heck would we let it go to waste? But there’s always that one person who’s the guilty dessert hoarder. He or she might be a tad bit awkward, so hanging around the sweets table feels like a safe bet. This “hanging around” eventually turns into munching on a few treats to pass the time which becomes us downing 90% of the dessert table in less than an hour, and then we feel super sick afterwards but it’s so worth it. Wait– we mean… okay, so maybe we’re the dessert hoarders. Whatever!

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