bachelor family

Welcome to my weekly blog series: Tuesday Walk of Shame. Here I hang my head low as I admit to having watched the previous night’s episode of The Bachelor / Bachelorette / Bachelor In Paradise (or whatever the newest spin-off happens to be) and provide my own personal commentary. I’ll tell you what I loved. I’ll tell you what I hated. And most importantly, I’ll tell you what I would have done differently.

Hello everyone and welcome to the new season of The Bachelorette! Kris isn’t able to write this week so I’ve taken over to tell you my thoughts on the very first episode. Don’t worry, she’ll be back next week with her regular Tuesday Walk of Shame, but hopefully this can tide you over. Let’s talk about Bachelorette JoJo’s premiere!

I’ve just finished the inaugural episode of the new season, and so far, I think I’m going to like it. I wasn’t the hugest fan of JoJo on last season of The Bachelor, but I think she seems fun and real when stepping into the shoes of The Bachelorette, and I think I’m going to really like some of her men. But more on that in a minute. First let’s look at this episode’s Top 5 highs & lows:

1.?￰ﾟﾌﾹ? Meeting Jordan for the first time… and I don’t just mean for Jojo, I mean for us. Our viewing party group collectively swooned over this guy and apparently Jojo agreed. After all, she awarded him the first impression rose.

2. ?￰ﾟﾍﾾ? Robby giving Jojo a bottle of wine: “It’s the family tradition right? Drinking right out of the bottle?”. JoJo: “My Mom will like him.” Yes JoJo, we think she will.

3. ?￰ﾟﾏﾻ?￰ﾟﾍﾻ Daniel. Just in general. I have so many questions… why was his occupation “Canadian”? Why did he feel the need to strip down and jump in the pool (wait… I might have answered that after finding his instagram account. Turns out he’s pretty into himself shirtless).

4. ? ❤️? Wells with the win! Bringing All-4-One was a classy move. Yeah, I was pretty into that.

5.?￰ﾟﾘﾅ? The Bachelor superfan is intense. I’m not sure they should allow superfans to also be contestants. I was legitimately concerned this guy was going to go into some sort of overload when he was getting ready to talk to Chris Harrison during the end clip.

And now for some more general comments on the men:

I won’t fully rank them, since I feel like that is Kris’s job and we might have totally different opinions. Wouldn’t want to skew her rankings or anything! That being said, I will tell you that I’m pretty into Jordan, Luke, Wells, and James T. I’m calling it now. Luke wins, Jordan will be the next Bachelor, and Wells and James T. make it close to the end but go home heartbroken. And on the opposite note, Chad feels very #VillainsGottaVill to me. That’s not necessarily a bad thing (Clint and JJ are some of my favourite previous Bachelorette contestants to follow nowadays), though it probably won’t bode well for his time on the show.

But here’s what I really want to talk about. Why can’t the Producers bring in any awesome Canadian men?

I swear, every time they get a Canadian on The Bachelorette, they are the most awkward, strange individuals. The Producers have had some luck with Canadian women. After all, previous Bachelorette Kaitlyn Bristowe is a BC/Alberta girl, and people absolutely adored her. We’ve also had Sharleen Joynt and Jillian Harris, to name some Canadian female contestants of note. So why are the men always so strange?

This year we had Jonathan and Daniel. Jonathan tried to be relevant by wearing a kilt (is this a thing? Does this make you more awesome?), but it wasn’t good enough to make it through to the next round. Then there’s Daniel. He was too drunk, self-obsessed, and barely even spoke to JoJo. How on earth did he get a rose? I’m thinking this was a Producer pick… but hopefully he doesn’t stick around long.

Come on, Bachelor Producers! Give us Canadians a better name. There are good guys here too.

What did you think of Bachelorette JoJo’s premiere? Kris will be back next week to kick off her thoughts on this season of The Bachelorette, but in the meantime, we’d love to chat in the comments!

Cheers,
KG

TWoS: Bachelorette JoJo’s Premiere was last modified: May 24th, 2016 by Kristin Glass

Welcome to my weekly blog series: Tuesday Walk of Shame. Here I hang my head low as I admit to having watched the previous night’s episode of The Bachelor / Bachelorette / Bachelor In Paradise (or whatever the newest spin-off happens to be) and provide my own personal commentary. I’ll tell you what I loved. I’ll tell you what I hated. And most importantly, I’ll tell you what I would have done differently.

Have you heard of the 5 Love Languages? It’s a theory that there are 5 ways in which people express & like to receive love. The tricky thing is that you tend to show love in the ways that you like to get love, which isn’t necessarily the way your partner (or loved ones in general) want to receive love. Hence the reason it’s important to know your Love Languages & those of the people you love. On this season of The Bachelor JoJo made a comment that made me think about how difficult it would be to comply with all of the Love Languages on this series. To see how you’d fare on the show take the quiz at 5lovelanguages.com to see which of the 5 languages are important to you.

Words of Affirmation

This is the language that JoJo brought up in regards to her relationship with Bachelor Ben last season. She literally used the term “Words of Affirmation”; she must know her love languages. But what are Words of Affirmation? These are the things you say – the ‘I love you’s, the sweet nothings, the compliments. Sure the Bachelor(ette) can’t say ‘I Love You’ back (not that the rule stopped Bachelor Ben from saying it to two women) but words of affirmation are abound on these shows. The contestants are constantly told how beautiful they are. They are told how smart and kind and vulnerable they are. And the Bachelor(ette) is showered with praise centring around “I’m so glad it’s you”s and “you’re my dream come trues”s.

Acts of Service

Acts of Service include the little things someone does for the person they love. It’s not buying presents or saying kind things, but the small acts that are performed unasked & unprompted. It’s going home and realizing the dishes have already been done! It’s also going on a special date – perhaps getting this week’s one-on-one. It’s being pulled aside first at the cocktail party or going to a special, secluded, rooftop spot where you can make out. If you pretend the Producers don’t make all of the plans and that everything comes from the brain of the Bachelor(ette) then Acts of Service are constantly being dished out.

Receiving Gifts

I think the definition of Receiving Gifts is pretty clear, but it’s important to clarify that these don’t have to be diamond ring/new car level gifts. Small things count too! The Bachelor(ette) is pretty low in its Gifts score. Maybe one girl a season will get a dress or necklace on something which they’ll get to keep after a princess-style date. And the occasional Bachelor will create a small present to show a woman he cares, like Ben and his hair clips for Amanda’s kids or the photo he had printed of him & Lauren. But most Bachelors aren’t Ben and you will rarely experience the Receiving Gifts love language on these shows. Unless you count a rose each week…

Quality Time

Quality Time is one-on-one time spent together. It is dates and activities, but also sitting around in comfortable silence… and it’s a complicated language on The Bachelor. Quality Time is a commodity that you judge your relationship by, your connection with the Bachelor(ette), even if you this isn’t one of your highest rated love languages. One-on-one date. One-on-one time during a group date. Being the first to talk to your Prince Charming/Perfect Princess during a cocktail party.

Physical Touch

Physical Touch is, again, exactly what you would expect. It is make out sessions, hugs, and high fives. It’s a pat on the back, a hand on your elbow, or a kiss on the top of a head. And physical touch is another of the love languages that is in no shortage on The Bachelor. I wasn’t even phased by how many women Bachelor Ben made out with this season. And yet, at the same time, a contestant spends a lot of time away from their Bachelor(ette). Group Dates are spent with 5 other suitors between you. You need to be good with short bursts of physical contact, then long dry spells.

I personally have quite a high rating for Words of Affirmation & Acts of Service, followed by Quality Time, while my Receiving Gifts score is very low and my Physical Touch rating is almost non-existent (I don’t like to be touched…). So maybe I’d be alright with the whole Bachelor scenario?

Until next week (because Tuesday Walk of Shame will keep going strong until the next episode)…
Love & Luck,
Kris

Welcome to my weekly blog series: Tuesday Walk of Shame. Here I hang my head low as I admit to having watched the previous night’s episode of The Bachelor / Bachelorette / Bachelor In Paradise (or whatever the newest spin-off happens to be) and provide my own personal commentary. I’ll tell you what I loved. I’ll tell you what I hated. And most importantly, I’ll tell you what I would have done differently.

On last week’s After the Final Rose special we learned who the next star of the Bachelor franchise would be: Welcome Bachelorette JoJo. Of course, I have opinions to spare on this selection. I’m a big fan of the Pro & Con Lists, so let’s break it all down to see whether JoJo will give us the season of The Bachelorette we all deserve (especially after watching weeks of Vanilla Bachelor Ben).

Pro: She has a Personality

After Vanilla Ben chose Vanilla Lauren I am desperate for some spice. Yes Ben did a great job of renewing our faith in The Bachelor and how we could make it through a season without hating everything about the central ‘Prince Charming’, but he did it at the expense of excitement. The dual ‘I Love You’ scenario was not enough to make up for how much less drama he inspired than Farmer Chris or Juan Pablo. I trust JoJo to stir the pot a bit; she’s bound to make her men a little crazy. And even if she’s not ideal, she’s better than alternatives of Vanilla Caila & Beige Amanda.

Con: She’s not Ashley I

As much as JoJo will add a bit of color to a white-washed year of this show, she’s still no Ashley I. Last year My Fangirl Life publicly stated our position on #TeamAshleyIforBachelorette. We have not given up on this. She is an iconic member of the Bachelor Family and she deserves her time in the spotlight. No only do we want her to finally find her one true love (and for her to get over Jared, who appears to be stringing her along whilst not actually being that interested), but I know that she would bring the fight, fire, water-works, and sass that we all hope to see from a strong Bachelorette.

Pro: Her Family is Totes Cray

Remember JoJo’s hometown date? I do. I remember it so fondly. It was the most drama-filled part of the entire season. First there was the love letter from her ex… which she had to get through a full page of before she realized it wasn’t from Ben. And then we met her insane family. Remember how her brothers attacked Ben? The one accused him of have the girls brainwashed? (And this was after the guy had competed on a cheap Bachelor rip-off show!) And her mom guzzling wine straight out of the bottle? Those were the good times… good times I hope to see repeated.

Con: Shouldn’t she be Heartbroken?

I am adamantly opposed to the runner-up being the next Bachelor(ette). I am riddled with doubts about the validity of relationships forged on this show, and yet even I find that making your ‘first loser’ into your next star cheapens the ending. Isn’t JoJo supposed to be heartbroken? They are trying to sell the connection between the Bachelor & his finalist as real, yet I’m also supposed to believe that JoJo is just fine to throw herself into it again already? I like the idea of the second place finisher needing time… time to lick her wounds and get over the rejection she faced on National television. But instead it appears that her connection with Ben was fleeting – momentary and easy to recover from. And that’s without even touching on the fact that she, the woman who was blindsided & dumped in front of the entire world, is fine with doing the same thing to another man (actually more than a dozen other men) six months later. It’s all a bit hard to swallow and leaves me with a bitter aftertaste.

The Verdict: I don’t think I’ll mind Bachelorette JoJo… I just wish she’d been 3rd or 4th on Bachelor Ben’s season.

Until next week (because Tuesday Walk of Shame will keep going strong until the next episode)…
Love & Luck,
Kris

Welcome to my weekly blog series: Tuesday Walk of Shame. Here I hang my head low as I admit to having watched the previous night’s episode of The Bachelor / Bachelorette / Bachelor In Paradise (or whatever the newest spin-off happens to be) and provide my own personal commentary. I’ll tell you what I loved. I’ll tell you what I hated. And most importantly, I’ll tell you what I would have done differently.

Another season of The Bachelor has come & gone. Another man has found a potential wife. Another relationship hangs in the balance…will they last forever? Or will they be broken up within weeks? Anything is possible…although, at least they’re still together now. It’s not surprising though, since they are the most vanilla couple ever. But more on that in a minute, first let’s look at this episode’s Top 5 highs & lows:1. ?￰ﾟﾘﾮ? Chris Harrison promised us “the most dramatic finale ever,” but I thought it fell short. The second last episode was much more dramatic.

2. ?￰ﾟﾚﾽ? That being said, I LOVED the scene with JoJo crying on the bathroom floor. I know we couldn’t see her but I like to imagine she was crumpled on the ground across from the toilet, mascara running down her cheeks. It was so perfectly done that I am almost certain it was staged, except I doubt that JoJo & Ben are that good of actors.

3. ?￰ﾟﾘﾳ? BUT why was JoJo crying not he bathroom floor? Yes, it’s dramatic…but as dramatic as a completely confident woman being sent home? I think not. Every girl knows that the Bachelor cannot say “I Love You” so both women should have been certain they were winning. If neither had even entertained doubt it would have been crazy to see how the loser would have reacted.

4. ?￰ﾟﾑﾎ?￢ﾝﾌ Chris Harrison tried to pressure Ben & Lauren into getting married on After the Final Rose. I always claim to not be invested in the outcomes and I occasionally cheer for the manufactured couples to split up, but all I could think was “Please don’t do it! Please noooooo.” They may be destined to break-up but let’s avoid a messy divorce.

5. ?￰ﾟﾒﾔ? JoJo is the new Bachelorette…really? Shouldn’t she still be heartbroken? After all, she was “in love” with Ben very recently.

But now for our new couple: Ben & Lauren…

Has a more vanilla couple ever existed than Vanilla Ben & Vanilla Lauren? Don’t get me wrong, I like Ben. He’s perfect. Gorgeous, kind, fun…gorgeous. Lauren is the equivalent. And together they are magic. It’s like they were genetically engineered in a lab to be perfect people. Perhaps they were engineered by The Bachelor to be the perfect contestants. And then the perfect couple. It’s great that they’re renewing people’s hope in The Bachelor. It’s nice that they’re giving the show a good name. But it’s soooooo boring!

Yawn. Even though I was #TeamLauren I couldn’t help but feel like it was so predictable. Where’s the excitement? Some people are satisfied with a perfect Prince & Princess story but I like twists. We can’t change this now, and I’m happy Ben & Lauren are happy, but maybe, now that the show’s reputation is intact, we can have less vanilla and more flavour next season? Pretty please Producers?

Until next episode…and I guess next season… (although Tuesday Walk of Shame will still exist over the break!)
Love & Luck,
Kris

Welcome to my weekly blog series: Tuesday Walk of Shame. Here I hang my head low as I admit to having watched the previous night’s episode of The Bachelor / Bachelorette / Bachelor In Paradise (or whatever the newest spin-off happens to be) and provide my own personal commentary. I’ll tell you what I loved. I’ll tell you what I hated. And most importantly, I’ll tell you what I would have done differently.

Happy International Women’s Day! I can think of plenty of ways to celebrate that would be better than discussing The Bachelor’s Women Tell All episode… but considering it’s Tuesday Walk of Shame day, Women Tell All seems like a fitting topic. In honour of this day of feminine strength I am going to discuss everything the ladies did right in last night’s typical bitch-fest:

Lace

During the first few weeks of Bachelor Ben’s courtship process, Lace acted like a crazy person. Even she’s admitted it. But Lace did a wonderful job of showing a different side of herself last night during the Women Tell All special. She stuck with her “you can’t love someone else until you love yourself” line, but filled it out with more background & substance. She showed Chris Harrison and all of us viewers at home how much a person can grow from this process, even if they don’t find love. She convinced us that she is not crazy – she was just overwhelmed… and I would be too.

Jubilee

Jubilee may not have been sure why she was apologizing, but I appreciate her trying. She really did want to mend fences and to try to see other perspectives. The show left me feeling like Jubilee spent so much time feeling misunderstood that she stopped understanding others. Last night she tried to break that cycle. Good for her.

Amanda

Amanda has been consistently sweet-as-honey throughout this entire season, but during the Women Tell All episode I also found her uncharacteristically confident & concise. She felt as if she was wronged by Olivia, but rather than bitch & moan or go on the attack, she expressed her concerns in a clear and level-headed fashion. She told Olivia how she felt (that she’d apologized for only part of what she had done wrong) in an emotional, yet logical way. And could she have given a better speech to Ben? No anger, no resentment. Just love… the kind you’d expect from a mature, loving mother.

Olivia

Love her or hate her, Olivia had some heart-strings moments last night. On occasion she tried to drive the message home too hard and it feel very flat, such as the blurt out of “I was bullied a lot as a child”. But when she opened up about having to give up her social media accounts, or when she was faced with the legitimate claims of emotional harm from her fellow Bachelorettes, we all saw the real women beneath the hard, shiny exterior. I applaud Olivia for being strong & confident, but I also applaud her for her moments of vulnerability and encourage her to let the world see that version of Olivia more.

Emily & Haylie

I have never claimed to think the twins are the most intelligent members of Bachelor Ben’s ladies, but last night they may have proved me wrong. While they are still young and a bit more emotional in their responses than some of the more mature contestants, each of the twins brought up legitimate concerns and made value-added commentary during the course of the Women Tell All episode. And I loved when Emily (???) brought up that some of the other women, not just Olivia, read! lol

Here’s where we sit going into the finale with Bachelor Ben:

Get ready for the “most dramatic finale ever” next week … but actually, for real, the MOST DRAMATIC!

Until next episode…
Love & Luck,
Kris

TWoS: What the Women Did Right on Women Tell All was last modified: March 8th, 2016 by Kris Padget

Welcome to my weekly blog series: Tuesday Walk of Shame. Here I hang my head low as I admit to having watched the previous night’s episode of The Bachelor / Bachelorette / Bachelor In Paradise (or whatever the newest spin-off happens to be) and provide my own personal commentary. I’ll tell you what I loved. I’ll tell you what I hated. And most importantly, I’ll tell you what I would have done differently.

This week Bachelor Ben toured the country from Oregon to Texas, California to Ohio, being the perfect house guest. He smiled and made the perfect first impression, which is what Vanilla Ben does best… yet he didn’t win over everyone. It was Drama City last night in every hometown (obviously mostly with JoJo’s family) but Ben handled it like a champ; were I the Bachelorette I can think of at least 5 ways I would have acted differently… but first let’s look at this episode’s Top 5 highs & lows:1. ?￰ﾟﾏﾻ?￰ﾟﾒﾋ Obviously JoJo’s mom and the on-camera, straight-from-the-bottle, I’d-rather-be-anywhere-but-here, champagne swig… but more on that later…

2. ?￰ﾟﾔﾨ?￰ﾟﾏﾻ Did anyone else feel like building a toy house would not actually be that fun? It was a thoughtful idea but I think there was some acting in the whole “this is such a great time” aspect of the work. If I was Ben I’d much rather be eating out of food trucks with Lauren.

3. ?￰ﾟﾓﾜ? The moment JoJo realized the heartfelt, handwritten letter wasn’t from Ben. That “Oh Shit” face. Side Note: Does she not recognize either Ben or her ex’s handwriting? I know she hasn’t known Ben long, but I’m sure she’s looked at each of her date cards a zillion times. And she was in a serious relationship with this Chad character; perhaps he just never wrote anything down while they were together?

4. ?￰ﾟﾒﾔ☺️ Ben is so good at break-ups. Amanda told him she wished he’d ended things with her at the hometown, rather than waiting for the Rose Ceremony. Ben earnestly validated her concerns, then explained his choices and point of view without being the least bit argumentative. It was textbook perfect… like everything else he does… ?￰ﾟﾒﾤ?

5. ?￰ﾟﾘﾍ? Remember when JoJo’s brother told Ben he had these women “brainwashed.” I loved that. So very much. It’s like he has both never seen the show before (What do you mean he’s dating other women at the same time?) and knows all of the inner workings (Tell me all of the interesting ways the Producers have played with your emotions.) I feel like I would make similar outlandish-yet-true claims if I was a family member on a Hometown Date.

Here’s where we sit at the end of Week 8 with Bachelor Ben:

If there is one thing I am certain about if I was the Bachelorette, it is that I would not be the cool customer that Bachelor Ben is. For Bachelor Ben hometowns are a breeze. He always says and does the right thing, so there is no need for concern. It makes us all very secure in our love for the Vanilla Bachelor (and more & more convinced that he was grown in the Bachelor Lab) but it doesn’t provide for the best television. This is an argument I’ve made against Ben before: He’s too perfect to induce drama. Drama must come from external sources, such as the women or their families. You can always count on this to happen but with Ben we lack escalation.

Usually when I start discussing “If I was the Bachelorette” scenarios it’s in regards to how I would approach the men or the show format; I’m going to give a different example of why I’d be a breath of fresh air for this program today. Today, I’m going to give you 5 clear reasons why the viewers would love me as their Bachelorette… and I’m going to do it by showing 5 moments where Ben did everything right, and thereby did everything wrong:

1. Ben keeps a Mom all the way to Hometowns

Ben would never send a woman home because she already has children from a past relationship. It would be unsightly of him to not want to deal with the drama of custody and catering to a parent you don’t even know. I, on the other hand, would be much more open to sending someone home purely because they are a parent. There is a big difference between being ready to get married and being ready to be a father. I believe Ben is ready for a wife… but he is far from ready for a child. He just broke the heart of a nice single mother while figuring that out. Boooo. I, on the other hand, would win the hearts of America by having earnest conversation with the contestants with children about where I’m at in terms of having kids… where I’m at being “totes not ready.”

2. Ben cries while telling Lauren’s Mom why he Likes Her

Ben! What are you doing? This is such a rookie mistake. You’re playing your hand too soon. As an audience we already know that your connection with Lauren is stronger than with anyone else. Now you’ve cried to her mother about how much you like her? We like there to be at least a little question as to who the front-runner is. Also, displays of emotion are the worst. No one wants to see that or have to deal with you while you’re being like that… Or is that just me?

3. Ben doesn’t resort to Violence with JoJo’s Brothers

Ben didn’t sock one to each of JoJo’s brorthers. He didn’t hit them right in their argumentative mouths. He didn’t even fight back verbally. At this point you’ve obviously already lost the family’s approval (considering they are attacking you & your character) so why not put on a show. Start a brawl. Throw some things. At least get in a stellar shouting match. Make this show worth tuning in to. You can’t let the family members (whose names I’ve already forgotten … Oh! There was a Ben, wasn’t there?) do all of the heavy lifting when it comes to ratings grabbing.

4. Ben avoids grabbing the Champagne Bottle out of JoJo’s Mom’s Hand

When faced with a family like JoJo’s I would be taking her mother’s approach. Where is the closest bottle? Would I like a glass? No! Who needs a glass? Frankly I would have taken this approach with all of the families. Even without accusations of brainwashing, a few sips (or full bottles) would help calm the nerves.

5. Ben Reciprocates Expressions of Love

Ok, so maybe this one didn’t happen this episode – that’s why it’s the Bonus – but we did see the dramatic (shall we say “most dramatic yet”?) teaser for next week’s. Ben tells not one but two women he loves them. Tsk tsk. This is going to get him into trouble. Women will cry. He will cry. Hearts will be broken. Will it affect how the audience sees Perfect Benjamin?

This show is a free pass to not say it back yet he’s spewing it out like verbal diarrhea. If I was the Bachelorette all of the men would know that (a) I’m not allowed to say “I Love You” and (b) they shouldn’t expect me to say it back until at least 2 months after the show has ended, when we’re approaching (although still not even at) a more appropriate time to be making such a serious declaration.

What do you think? #KrisforBachelorette? Or we can still to the good old hashtag campaign of #AshleyIforBachelorette… you can guarantee she’d be at least as big of a mess as I promised to be!

Welcome to my weekly blog series: Tuesday Walk of Shame. Here I hang my head low as I admit to having watched the previous night’s episode of The Bachelor / Bachelorette / Bachelor In Paradise (or whatever the newest spin-off happens to be) and provide my own personal commentary. I’ll tell you what I loved. I’ll tell you what I hated. And most importantly, I’ll tell you what I would have done differently.

Another dramatic week for Bachelor Ben & his ladies. He took them home, showed (some of) them where he grew up, and gave us all a taste of just how All-American he really is. He also put us through another one of the most awkward Group Dates to ever take place… but before we get into that, let’s look at this episode’s Top 5 highs & lows:1. ?￢ﾁﾉ️? The women use the term “validation” an unnatural amount this season. It’s new but possibly important. Do we need to add this development in vernacular to the Bachelor lexicon? It will end up somewhere between “Right Reasons” and “Villains Gotta Vill”. And more importantly, do we need to do a Fangirl Glossary: Bachelor Edition?

2. ?￢ﾝﾤ️⚔ Becca doesn’t want to “feel this way” with someone she’s “trying to fall in love with”. Well sweetheart, perhaps that’s why you went home: because you are “trying” to fall in love. Everything about this show is manipulating your feelings to make you love him; you shouldn’t have to try so hard. Your competitors are, in contrast, trying to put up walls to slow down how fast they’re falling.

3. ?￢ﾝﾌ? JoJo is “more Team Ben than I’ve ever been”. Me too JoJo, which is killing me inside. Usually I hate the Bachelor by this point, and that’s how I liked it. Admittedly, I’m more Team Bachelor than I’ve ever been before, which makes me feel horribly ashamed.

4. ?￰ﾟﾑﾸ?￰ﾟﾌﾴ Ben’s mother literally cried at the thought of Emily being her daughter-in-law… and not in a good way. I think this is a first. Two thoughts on that: (1) any girl who wants to marry Ben better stay on Momma Higgins’ good side and (2) how much money would you bet that Emily (& Haley) will be in Paradise this summer?

5. ❓?￰ﾟﾏﾼ❓ We’re far enough into this season of The Bachelor to start the discussion of the next Bachelorette, right? Who will is be? My money is on Lauren B or JoJo… which ever one of them doesn’t end up winning. As long as it isn’t Amanda (too much vanilla!). Although My Fangirl Life is still campaigning for #AshleyIforBachelorette.

Here’s where we sit at the end of Week 7 with Bachelor Ben:

Is it just me or have things become unusually awkward in “Contestant Mansion” lately? I realize that the women have been “freed” from the house arrest and are now into the portion of the show where they travel about, being sequestered in new & exotic locations, but I am using the term “Contestant Mansion” to refer to whatever house/hotel/suite/etc. the women are currently being locked away in. I’ve watched more seasons of The Bachelor & The Bachelorette than I would care to admit and I don’t remember it ever being this tense between the Final 6. Yes, they still chat and act as if they are supportive but there’s not the usual carefree gaiety we have come to expect from the desperate airheads who compete on this show.

Take the conversation we saw between Lauren & Amanda the morning after Amanda’s magical McDonalds-filled date. Lauren asked what the mother-of-two and Bachelor Ben got up to, wanting to hear the romantic details. But you could hear the edge in her voice. She was acting nice but inside was judging Amanda’s connection versus her own… and not in the normal over-analyze-everything-that-happens-because-we-have-literally-nothing-else-to-do sort of way. These are genuinely good people who try not to attack or confront or hurt each other, yet they are too aware of the competitive aspect of this show.

And this has lead to the weirdest Group Dates to have aired in any season I can remember. I don’t mean weird like when Farmer Chris has the ladies in bikinis riding tractors downtown or when the last Bachelorette, Kaitlyn, dressed her suitors up in sumo wrestler diaper thongs. I mean awkward, quiet, just-not-gelling weird. The women are all hyper aware of each other and of Ben. They know exactly who he is with for exactly how long, including when it’s their turn for alone time. It makes comparisons glaringly obvious, and then everyone even more awkward as a result.

Although the Bahamas pig date was pretty bad, this week might take the cake when it comes to uncomfortable viewing. As if the 3-on-1 portion wasn’t bad enough, but the break-off into a 1-on-1 was downright disastrous. First of all, I don’t understand the logic of deciding you are sure you want a girl to stay and then spending your limited decision time with her. You already know you like her and you gave her the rose to ensure you’ll have bonding time the next week. Shouldn’t the Bachelor then spend the rest of the time deciding which of the women he’s unsure about is actually a keeper and which can hit the road? But even if you do hold fast to the standard Bachelor reward system of rose = time, could Ben have been any less sensitive to the feels of the dumpees when leaving with Amanda? It was so very blunt (and so very un-Ben-like). Perhaps he was just feeding off the toxic energy created by the Group Date experience?

What do you think? Is this season different or am I just looking at the past through rose-colored glasses? Let me know in the comments. In my opinion the best group date idea would have been for Ben to just take them all to his favorite dive bar… because who doesn’t love a good dive bar? And who doesn’t loosen up when liquor’s involved?

Until next episode…
Love & Luck,
Kris

My Fangirl Life’s Official Bachelor Contestant Ranking:Notes: (1) I really like Emily, so much more than I ever imagined I would, but this was her time to go. The poor sweetheart needs another 2-5 years before she’s ready for this, which was drilled right in with the way she was edited this week. ?￰ﾟﾏﾼ (2) I liked Becca last season. She was boring, but good boring… this year she turned into kind of a blank canvas bore… and being a blank canvas is far worse than being Vanilla (a la Ben Higgins). ?￰ﾟﾘﾴ?

TwoS: Bachelor Ben, the Perfect Small Town Man was last modified: February 16th, 2016 by Kris Padget

Welcome to my weekly blog series: Tuesday Walk of Shame. Here I hang my head low as I admit to having watched the previous night’s episode of The Bachelor / Bachelorette / Bachelor In Paradise (or whatever the newest spin-off happens to be) and provide my own personal commentary. I’ll tell you what I loved. I’ll tell you what I hated. And most importantly, I’ll tell you what I would have done differently.

If The Bachelor and Survivor had a baby it would look a little like this episode. There was drama & heartbreak (like Mommy Bachelor) and plenty of islands & people being kicked off them (like Daddy Survivor). Plus enough interpersonal drama to keep both parents happy… but before we get into that let’s look at this episode’s Top 5 highs & lows:1. ?￰ﾟﾑﾙ? Hot Dogs. Bikinis. And Wild Pigs. I am sure this is exactly the dream date every girl had in mind when she signed up for The Bachelor.

2. ?￰ﾟﾘﾇ? I love when this show doesn’t even try to hide how horribly the Producers are controlling what is going on. Are we supposed to believe that Vanilla Bachelor Ben would (a) want to do a 2-on-1 at all? and (b) take two completely different girls like Olivia & Emily on it? The Producers know how these two feel about each other (way more than Ben does… like waaaaay more) and wanted to pit them against each other. Plus it was a perfect recreation of the most successful 2-on-1 ever: Kelsey (crazy like Olivia) and Ashley I (such an Emily).

3. ?￰ﾟﾤﾔ? “I’m different. I like to read…and think….” -Olivia … Olivia is different you guys. She likes to think.

5. ?￰ﾟﾏﾼ?￰ﾟﾏﾝ Nothing makes me happier than when the Bachelor leaves a woman “stranded” somewhere after breaking up with her. Remember how Chris left Kelsey & Ashley I in the middle of the desert after dumping both of them on their 2-on-1 date? Classic. And now Olivia will be left on that island until eternity. She’ll be fine though; eventually a wild pig will swim over and his aggressive nuzzling will be a sure sign that he’s into her. After fashioning a veil out of fishing net that washed up on shore they will be married in a private ceremony on the beach.

Here’s where we sit at the end of Week 6 with Bachelor Ben:

I think the phrase “I didn’t come here to make friends” has been uttered in every reality show ever. Yes Nameless Contestant, we know that you are here to win… but why can’t you also make friends along the way? I’m not naive; I realize backstabbing & manipulating are part of the game. These aspects don’t easily lend themselves to making friends, but I do them when playing board games and my friends still talk to me (even Justine who usually gets manipulated the most). In a reality show I think you should be open to making friends along the way. And this has never been more true than during The Bachelor.

I get that all these other bitches are also dating your boyfriend. It’s awkward and weird. But you’re also sequestered in a house together for months (potentially… if he likes you) and you will go crazy on your own. So make friends! Here are my top 5 reasons it is worth it (even if you are someone who hates everyone … like me!):

1. To Pass the Time

You have been put in a beautiful mansion in the Californian countryside, or a gorgeous suite in an exotic locale, which seems like a dream. And yet you are barely allowed to go outside. Like a toddler, you can’t even cross the street without a chaperone and your excursions are limited to playdates arranged by the Producers. To make matters worse you have no phone, no internet, and no tv. You need friends or else you’re going to end up drawing faces on spoons to have someone to talk to . Which brings us to #2…

2. For Your Sanity

You will go crazy with nothing to do and no one to talk to! Make friends with the actual real-live people instead of inanimate objects. Plus your shared experience will make you feel better about how thoroughly “Stockholm Syndrome” the situation I described in #1 is.

3. To Prevent Backstabbing

Olivia is the prime example of how not making friends blows up in your face. She has been playing this like a game; something she needs to aggressively work at winning. And with no friends to have her back, all Ben hears are bitchy comments. If no one will speak nice of you then you will go home.

4. To Lure the Ladies into Thinking You Won’t Backstab them

I’m going to call this one the Leah approach, although she executed it poorly. Leah fit in with the other ladies so when she started talking trash about Lauren B this week no one could be certain it was her. Leah’s timing was brutal so it was pretty obviously her, but were she stealthier she totally could have gotten away with it. Being loved by all means your opinions are trusted, by both the other women & the Bachelor, so you can get that chick you don’t like sent packing.

5. Don’t you think your man will want to know that you can make friends?

Did Olivia really think her inability to connect with the other women would be a pro to Ben? She tried to play it off like she was too intelligent to relate to the masses, yet wasn’t she the one who made a Teen Mom comment? Is there any lower form of television than Teen Mom (except maybe The Bachelor)? If you think about the situation critically you will come to realize that the group of women you are competing against might be a lot like you…. in fact, the same man is attracted to each and every one of you. So try to get to know them. Plus the Bachelor should recognize that you are getting along with your peers and know that you will probably be able to assimilate into other groups, like with his friends or his family.

And all of that is coming from someone who tries her best not to have to make new friends. Ugh. People.

Until next episode…
Love & Luck,
Kris

My Fangirl Life’s Official Bachelor Contestant Ranking:Notes: (1) Amanda … ?￰ﾟﾒﾤ?. (2) Olivia might be crazy but that works as an excuse for her actions… there’s no excuse for the downright bitchiness of Leah this week. ? (3) Bye-Bye Jennifer

TWoS: Who will Bachelor Ben Vote Off the Island? was last modified: February 9th, 2016 by Kris Padget

Welcome to my weekly blog series: Tuesday Walk of Shame. Here I hang my head low as I admit to having watched the previous night’s episode of The Bachelor / Bachelorette / Bachelor In Paradise (or whatever the newest spin-off happens to be) and provide my own personal commentary. I’ll tell you what I loved. I’ll tell you what I hated. And most importantly, I’ll tell you what I would have done differently.

Another week, another episode, another vanilla Ben. I keep calling him that: “Vanilla”. Do you think it’s harsh? Because I think it’s perfect. Vanilla is a flavor… but not a very exciting one. It’s predictable, but comforting. It makes you feel good and at home… while providing no spice or excitement. It’s Ben! But before I get into why having a Vanilla Bachelor is unexpectedly problematic, let’s look at this episode’s Top 5 highs & lows:1. ?￰ﾟﾏﾼ?￰ﾟﾏﾼ?￰ﾟﾏﾼ Remember that time when Ben woke all of the ladies up at 4am in Mexico City? Lauren H had her mouth-guard in. Lauren B had zit cream on. Yet Amanda, Little Miss 1-on-1 herself, looked like a Disney Princess roused from slumber by cheerful woodland creatures for her day with Prince Charming. Either Amanda was tipped about Ben’s early arrival or she sleeps in lip gloss (it’s possible… we all know Britt did it).

2. ?￰ﾟﾏﾼ?￰ﾟﾏﾻ? “I feel like it’s an episode of Teen Mom.” -Olivia … I can’t decide if my favourite part of that was Olivia trying to back pedal and fix it (“You know… like the show…”) or that she may have seriously thought that this was a way to contribute & connect with the other women.

3. ?￰ﾟﾏﾼ?￢ﾙﾨ️ Ben takes Olivia to try the mint. Who just samples mint at random? Perhaps the girls aren’t just being catty and Olivia does actually have bad breath. Does anyone else desperately want to meet her purely so they can smell it???

4. ?￢ﾘﾺ️? Model Ben brought the smolder! Seriously. I would not have expected anything so fierce and fabulous from our vanilla Ben. I mean I knew he was good looking… and intense (about love at least)… but he can also be hunk-tastic in a brooding runway star way too.

I’m pretty open about my feelings regarding Ben. I have been right from the start… the very start in fact. When Pre-Judging Kaitlyn’s men for her season of the Bachelorette I said (and I quote):

“Hello Ben H. Wow, what a hottie…”

– Kris

Throughout the season I continued to rave about him; he seemed so perfect! And he is.

Seeing him now as the Bachelor, I can’t help but think he was genetically engineered by the Bachelor Producers to be their ultimate Prince Charming. He was made in a lab, given to the perfect loving parents (possibly actors?), and placed into rural USA. From there his whole life has been manipulated to give him the perfect backstory: quarterback of his high-school football team, a few (scripted) heartbreaks to make him seem ‘damaged’ (but not so much so that you can’t save him!), and then placed on the Bachelor right when the franchise needed him most. Juan Pablo soiled the Bachelor name worse than ever before. Farmer Chris, seeming a nice guy in the start, turned out to be a douche-in-disguise. Kaitlyn… man she was great, but not in the least bit ‘on-brand.’ And their real brand hopeful (aka Britt) fell flat with both the television audience and the men they brought in for last season’s Bachelorette. Luckily The Producers had an ace up their sleeves. Ben. The man they had been waiting his whole life for. He would bring back the magic and restore the good name of The Bachelor. He would make us all believe in “the right reasons” and that people reallycould fall in love on tv.

It’s all very “Vanilla”. Ben is sweet and soft. Like the simple fragrance. He adds a bit of flavor to your dish, but not so much as to be overpowering or unexpected or exotic. He’s comforting, like a vanilla candle. He’s that extra bit pleasant, like a vanilla latte. He takes you back to a simpler time, like a vanilla milkshake. And he takes you back home, like your mother’s chocolate chip cookies. Vanilla is good, but it doesn’t make for good tv … Or does it????

Those ‘perfect’ traits that The Producers have carefully created in Ben (through tampering with both nature & nurture) could actually be his downfall. They wanted a Bachelor who was cute, lovable, and loving. But is Vanilla Ben too much so?

“He just gets me and I’m not sure anyone ever has”

– Lauren H

Lauren H is not the only girl to have expressed this sentiment. We heard it from Jubilee after their 1-on-1. Lauren B has told us this same thing. And just this episode, Amanda uttered this phrase in her own meek way. And then there’s Olivia:

“There’s no doubt in my mind that I’m in love with Ben.”

“Our love language is something all our own.”

“I’m in a relationship with Ben and it’s great.”

– Olivia

Sure she’s crazy but perhaps her totally psychotic claims about her connection with Ben aren’t all her fault. Vanilla Ben is too sweet. Too comforting. Too lovable. Too familiar. And too loving. Every girl feels like she is soooooooo special. At this point there are 10 girls dating the same man, which never ends well. But it’s worse than normal. Throw in a Bachelor who makes each of them feel loved in their own unique way (the way they desperately need to feel love, I might add) and you have a recipe for disaster. Vanilla Ben is too Vanilla, both in the way that I am not getting any excitement out of him and that he is causing too much affection in the women. I guess I shouldn’t complain; it’s going to be a dramatic conclusion!

What do you think? Are you Team Vanilla Ben? Or just Team Ben? Let me know in the comments!

Until next episode…
Love & Luck,
Kris

My Fangirl Life’s Official Bachelor Contestant Ranking:Notes: (1) I realize that Amanda’s 1-on-1 date was supposed to make me like her more but I find her very boring. Vanilla Ben cannot marry Vanilla Amanda. Vanilla is a great flavor but there is something to be said about too much of a good thing being bad. (2) I just like Emily more & more each week. She’s not the brightest but she’s well-meaning… and not vanilla. (3) Ben & Lauren B making out all over Mexico City while the other girls sit around waiting for them to come back: priceless. These two have great chemistry and I’m feeling like I hitched my cart to the right wagon.

TWoS: Bachelor Ben Gets You… Like No One Ever Has was last modified: February 2nd, 2016 by Kris Padget

Welcome to my weekly blog series: Tuesday Walk of Shame. Here I hang my head low as I admit to having watched the previous night’s episode of The Bachelor / Bachelorette / Bachelor In Paradise (or whatever the newest spin-off happens to be) and provide my own personal commentary. I’ll tell you what I loved. I’ll tell you what I hated. And most importantly, I’ll tell you what I would have done differently.

Viva Las Vegas! This week in Sin City some of the ladies were winners and others were losers… some parts of the show were a win, while others made me gag. But before we discuss my thoughts on how The Bachelor approached the city of glitz & gambling let’s look at this episode’s Top 5 highs & lows:1. ?￰ﾟﾑﾨ?￰ﾟﾌﾹ The “Manwich” Commercial! You all saw that too right?!?! All commercials during The Bachelor should be specifically Bachelor themed. Brilliant.

3. ?￰ﾟﾙﾀ? Olivia’s panic attack had nothing on Kelsey’s from last season… just saying…

4. ?￰ﾟﾏﾼ?￰ﾟﾏﾼ? The twin 2-on-1 was not as dramatic as I’d hoped. But of course it wasn’t… plain vanilla Bachelor Ben is just too sweet. Imagine how Juan Pablo would have handled that situation? … Probably have asked for a three-way… again, just saying…

5. ?￢ﾜﾋ?￰ﾟﾘﾡ JoJo was about ready to slap a bitch tonight. I wanted her to ask someone to hold her earrings while she “took care of” the “Olivia problem.”

Here’s where we sit at the end of Week 4 with Bachelor Ben:

Why do they keep saying Las Vegas is a place where people find & fall in love? No one believes that, right? Maybe a place to have repeated one night stands or get drunkenly married only to get it annulled the next morning? I’m not saying I think Vegas was a bad Bachelor destination, because I actually believe it’s brilliant, but they should embrace how it’s fun & full of adventure & experiences… which could easily parallel the Bachelor journey. Don’t try to make it into something it’s not.

In the show’s defence (am I actually saying that?) the “actions” were in line with my thoughts. It was just Ben & Chris’ words that didn’t match. The dates were on point:

The group date was especially so, as seems to be the norm for this season. Yes it was cringe-worthy, but so is EVERYTHING ELSE ABOUT THIS SHOW. It was very Vegas. Performing in front of a massive, live audience. Doing silly, crazy, things that are also mortifying. This is 100% a date I would orchestrate if I was the Bachelorette.

The first 1-on-1 was neither here nor there… frankly it was just a snorefest. ? That’s not JoJo or Ben’s fault (it’s a bit Ben’s fault because he’s so very vanilla ?), it’s just that the 1-on-1’s have become pretty predictable. Becca’s 1-on-1 was pretty perfect. It started off a bit mean with the wedding dress/proposal prank… more like my style than Ben’s. But just perfect for balancing out the sickly-sweet wedding-vow filled rest of the date. It was a bit romantic for my version of Vegas, but fit right in with one of the most well-known Vegas “pastimes”.

All-in-all, the Vegas episode was about fun & drama… like any Vegas weekend. So why does Ben think people go to Vegas to fall in love??? What did you think? Let me know in the comments!

Afterthought: I haven’t discussed Bachelor Live in this series yet! That’s because it is painfully awkward most of the time… until last night. I LOVED this week’s edition. Allison Williams & Michelle Collins were the perfect guests! And Chris Harrison is a legit good live host. ❤️❤️❤️

Until next episode…
Love & Luck,
Kris

My Fangirl Life’s Official Bachelor Contestant Ranking:Notes: (1) Who knew going in to this season that I would end up liking the twins so much. Obviously not me.(2) Did Lauren H not go home last week??? I would have put money on it that she did. (3) Lauren B looks so fabulous at the cocktail party, so much so that I had to comment here. (4) Could Caila be cuter with “The Cookie Game”?

TWoS: Bachelor Ben on The Strip was last modified: January 26th, 2016 by Kris Padget

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