No, this is not a post about how to avoid the immigration authorities. It is not about status at all. If you are a non-citizen in the United States, your own poor choices could land you in immigration court. Here are some things you should be doing to keep it from happening:

1) Stay away from places where bad things happen. You know what we mean. The local nightclub where the police are called regularly. The place where the drug deals go down and fights break out. The one you wouldn’t take your wife or girlfriend to. If you and your buddies get into trouble, they will probably spend the night in jail and get fined. You will find yourself in front of an immigration judge.

2) Don’t drink and drive. Ever. This is good advice for everyone. Furthermore, Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) classifies drinking and driving offenders as enforcement priorities. Even if you don’t get placed in removal proceedings, you may find that your next application for immigration benefits just got harder to obtain.

3) Don’t do drugs, or hang around with people who do. Some laws may be changing, but any sort of drug-related conviction beyond one offense for simple possession of under an ounce of marijuana will get you deported and permanently barred from the United States.

4) If you get in a “discussion” with your significant other, tell them that they are right, and apologizebefore things get out of hand. Domestic violence offenders are also an ICE enforcement priority. Most domestic violence assault convictions are likely to be classified as “crimes involving moral turpitude.” This can have a life-long effect on your immigration status, and we don’t mean for the better.

5) Respect the Border. Crossing it illegally has consequences. If you are in the United States unlawfully for more than a year, then leave, don’t try to come back in without being inspected. The departure is a problem, but returning without inspection turns an easy immigration case into an impossible one. More cases have been screwed up by a two-week trip home to see a sick grandmother, a dying uncle, or a sister’s wedding than by anything else.