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Hello. We’re Anya and Saran. We’re stand-up comedians – but unfortunately we’re also real life people. Because of this, other people expect certain things of us. They want us to be great listeners, solve problems, be warm, caring and empathetic; to provide a shoulder to cry on here, a “there there, you’re not a bad person” pat on the head there, and fuck knows why, but people always – ALWAYS – want our advice. The thing is, you probably ARE a bad person. And so are we. We are dorks. We are dickheads. We don’t suffer fools gladly, but we’ve spent a lot of time listening to them (mostly) without screaming – and finally, we’re done.

So what do you do when you couldn’t care less but people keep expecting you to? Build a self help empire, of course: By our powers combined, we give you Saranya – your friendly neighbourhood psycho of an agony aunt column. We have terrible ideas and none of the answers, but since you all just won’t stop asking, we’re ready to sort your shit out for you. Write us an email. Ask us a question. Tell us your problems. Then sit down, sunshine, and shut the fuck up. We’ll advise whether you like it or not.