Castle Rackrent eBook

of humanity, but it does not, as some imagine, cost
nothing. The time spent in attending funerals
may be safely valued at half a million to the Irish
nation; the Editor thinks that double that sum would
not be too high an estimate. The habits of profligacy
and drunkenness which are acquired at wakes are
here put out of the question. When a labourer,
a carpenter, or a smith, is not at his work, which
frequently happens, ask where he is gone, and ten to
one the answer is—­’Oh, faith, please
your honour, he couldn’t do a stroke to-day,
for he’s gone to the funeral.’

Even beggars, when they grow old, go about begging
fortheirownfunerals that is,
begging for money to buy a coffin, candles, pipes,
and tobacco. For the use of the candles, pipes,
and tobacco, see wake.

Those who value customs in proportion to their antiquity,
and nations in proportion to their adherence to ancient
customs, will doubtless admire the Irish Ullaloo,
and the Irish nation, for persevering in this usage
from time immemorial. The Editor, however, has
observed some alarming symptoms, which seem to prognosticate
the declining taste for the Ullaloo in Ireland.
In a comic theatrical entertainment, represented not
long since on the Dublin stage, a chorus of old women
was introduced, who set up the Irish howl round the
relics of a physician, who is supposed to have fallen
under the wooden sword of Harlequin. After the
old women have continued their Ullaloo for a decent
time, with all the necessary accompaniments of wringing
their hands, wiping or rubbing their eyes with the
corners of their gowns or aprons, etc., one of
the mourners suddenly suspends her lamentable cries,
and, turning to her neighbour, asks, ‘Arrah
now, honey, who is it we’re crying for?’

GLOSSARY 4. THE TENANTS WERE SENT AWAY WITHOUT THEIR WHISKY.

—­It is usual with some landlords to give
their inferior tenants a glass of whisky when they
pay their rents. Thady calls it their whisky;
not that the whisky is actually the property of the
tenants, but that it becomes their right after
it has been often given to them. In this general
mode of reasoning respecting rights the lower
Irish are not singular, but they are peculiarly quick
and tenacious in claiming these rights. ’Last
year your honour gave me some straw for the roof of
my house and I expect your honour will be after
doing the same this year.’ In this manner
gifts are frequently turned into tributes. The
high and low are not always dissimilar in their habits.
It is said, that the Sublime Ottoman Forte is very
apt to claim gifts as tributes: thus it is dangerous
to send the Grand Seignor a fine horse on his birthday
one year, lest on his next birthday he should expect
a similar present, and should proceed to demonstrate
the reasonableness of his expectations.