My Reflection on Being a Survivor in a Women’s Group

I know it felt like you have been robbed of everything
At the time stripped bare and violated
I realise you do not always want to remember;

At this present moment
You choose not to
And that is ok;

We have survived horrific ordeals that drew us
Into our worst unimaginable nightmares
Situations that were ‘prolonged, vile and depraved’
‘Terrorised with incalculable psychological impact’
No-one should ever have to endure these violations
Nor ever have to carry that burden;

Yet women have had to carry and wear these scars for generations
Shame, humiliation and repulsion
But let’s not disregard the story of others
Because we are frightened of our own;

I know not everyone is comfortable with hearing of sexual violence
I know it can throw us off our guard
We may not wish to be reminded
All I ask is that we please not re-victimise each other;

I know it might be uncomfortable to listen to others
But we are not here to compare or judge others
All I ask is that we try to show each other compassion;

In the future we may have to re-remember
Not because we have chosen to
The memories and pain and hurt that we hide deep inside
to protect ourselves
These may resurface and that is ok too;

When we are ready, if we have the need
I hope there is help and support
It is not a sign of weakness to ask for help
It is a sign of your own inner strength;

We become stronger and live more fulfilling lives
Not because of sexual violence and abuse
But despite it;

We have a voice in solidarity with each other
We have survived and continue surviving
We heal…