I’m So Glad You’re The One Taking Care Of Me Today (PART 1)

It’s been eighteen years (today) since my dad died. It’s hard to even put those words together. He’s someone who hasn’t made it easy to ‘just get over.’

When you love someone so much and then lose them, it changes everything.

I know I’ve mentioned in previous posts the story of my dad, but for new blog followers and my own thought process (and anyone else) here we go….

I depended so much on my dad when I was growing up because he provided for our family, and with my mom’s epilepsy he took good care of her.

He was ridiculously talented with art and carpentry.

*Both of these are drawings he did, but I photocopied them onto plaques.*

He ran a bit on the wild side from his teen years to his mid thirties, meanwhile taking pride in his work as a self-employed roofer, doing indoor (house) construction as well, and raising/selling bearded dragon reptiles on the side.

Eventually my dad gave up the party scene and replaced it with church. Dirt bike racing became a hobby in the summer months for my dad but since the races landed on Sundays his church attendance was put on the back-burner.

The first race season ended along with his new passion; a miscalculated double jump left him paralyzed from the neck down (quadriplegic) and ventilator dependent. He was thirty-seven at the time…only two years older than I am right now.

My dad lived in a rehab facility for the next few years (four hours away from us) where we visited him frequently. It was meant to be a temporary living condition as we were in the middle of selling our home with plans of moving and building a new home. The new house would be located in the same town as where my dad’s rehab housing was, making it easier to have access to proper health care, plus the house would be handicap capable and he would begin living full-time with us there.

Occasionally we brought my dad the fours hours home to visit for a long weekend.

His last trip home was just under two years shy of his bike racing accident. He was home for the Fourth of July celebration. He wasn’t even supposed to visit that weekend, but a falling-out with one of the staff sent him in a rage and mom came to his rescue and brought him home for a few days.

It was the morning of July 8, 2001. My mom was doing the busy tasks of caring for my paralyzed dad, and getting him packed up to go back to rehab life. During that time it was as if they’d reversed roles. My mom became more independent and was able to see just how much my dad actually needed her.

As she cleaned him, dressed him, adjusted his ventilator, and so on, he looked her in the eyes lovingly and said, “I’m so glad you’re the one taking care of me today.”

I’m so glad you’re the one taking care of me today.

None of us knew it’d be the last time.

We left later that day with me driving but after a few hours on the road I fell asleep behind the wheel.

My dad didn’t survive the accident. A blessing in disguise, really. He had also told my mom earlier that day that ‘he didn’t like living this way and didn’t want to do it anymore.’

Oh the irony.

I miss him still. A lot.

I’ve beat myself up over and over because of how selfish and naive I was during that time. I’ve wrote over and over how I was a mess as a teen. I wasn’t really present to my family and took more interest in spending time with friends…and partying.

And it makes it really hard when I consider the fact that I now have a husband and kids…and my dad’s not a part of this.

He would’ve been crazy about them.

I have to push those thoughts away though because it becomes a combination of day-dreaming and false-hope.

PART TWO to follow…with a happier ending, I promise…because I feel like I just rewrote my dad’s obituary…seriously though!!

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Author: alimw2013

About For His Purpose~
My name is Alicia and I'm a thirty-something year old who loves Jesus.
Only through God’s amazing grace and mercy I have been redeemed from past regret and shame. Reading His word has allowed me to look past Satan’s forceful lies, to see myself for who Christ says I am in Him.
Through writing I have learned why I made the choices I made in my younger years and I now have a better understanding of why I desire to love God like crazy these days.
Despite my daily failures, God remains faithful always. I am reassured of His unconditional love for me by every ink-drop spilled out on paper, each committed prayer as I cry out to Him, and deep understanding reflected through reading His word as truth.
Yes keeping a blog will make me vulnerable to others’ opinions- there will be some who don’t understand, some who may criticize or judge, but on the other hand if just one piece expressed through my writing grabs someone’s attention and directs them to God, then pouring out my heart in a blog for the world to read is worth it. I choose to glorify Him alone through words streaming across a glowing screen.
And it wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t reveal the fact that I’m incredibly quirky; I’m my loving husband’s best friend, my vivacious kids’ craziest cheerleader and spiritual trainer (3 John 1:4). I love anything farmhouse and rustic style. I think cupping a warm coffee mug in the palm of my hands is more satisfying than the contents within. I share a common obsession with my husband for the mountains, but I would (without a doubt) settle for waves crashing against my legs at the Atlantic Ocean just as well, and I almost always have a Yorkie curled up on my lap while writing.
*All photos are photographed by forhispurpose.blog and therefore may not be stored or photocopied in any manner.
View all posts by alimw2013

I missed this blog and wow oh wow. I love how you shared your heart all the way through and girl that was not easy! I am a caregiver for my elderly Aunt and she said recently, there is only one job harder than being a caregiver, it’s needing the care. What a sweet blessing your Father’s words were to all of you that day and how he knew how much you loved him. Thank you for sharing this story again, Alicia, it truly was beautifully written.

Oh yes that’s so true, my brother realizes that he needs the extra help..I just never want him to feel like he’s a burden!!
Thank you so much for your kind words about my dad, I think deep down he must’ve had a feeling ..or God was preparing him for that moment 😌❤️