Yes, I did. Last night. Took a nice long piss in that "about to be demolished" house, where so many horriblly abusive act against me took place.By the end though, it felt creepy. Like I awoke some Thing there. Creeks from below.Weirded me out a bit. That 'old fear' started to rise.I got out fast, using my light to keep "it" at bay, as I backed out the door. It called to me in my mind, to come down those stairs. Like a gaping mouth, beckening me.I felt an erge to give in to that call. Seeing the shadows move at the edges of the light. Whispers in the dark of my mind.The sound of movement from the depth."Just an animal".Perhaps....Not all things can be explained by science.Maybe part of me is trapped there still. A young child, terrified, alone. Wanting comfort.Or, its part of 'him'.Restless, waiting, hungry...

I too know that feeling of fear as the abuse victim inside of me awakens because I am prodding him. He likes what I am doing to protect him but then, like being called home he becomes afraid. I was more afraid of my dad then I was of bullies and the Devil. It took a long time and many repressed memories to begin to let the trauma go.

The abuse is over fellow survivor, but not the horror. I am so proud of you for your affirming action. Keep recovering.

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