A Premise Salesman with Some Things on His Mind

Dead Snow and the Decline of Conservative American Politics

Well, shit’s going to hell in a hand basket out there and I don’t know what think. Anyone pooh-poohing the Zombie Apocalypse hasn’t been paying attention to the GOP, that’s for damn certain. I only wish they would kills us in the old fashion zombie brain-eating way rather than this slow, tortured death. Seriously, our destruction isn’t even in good taste, instead it unfolds like a bad Vincent Price film filled with unnecessary theatrics and a crying Speaker. It is downright pathetic.

Such Well-Behaved Boys.

More pathetic still — when we delve into the plot — we can see that the Boehners, Cantors, and McConnells of the world are the zombie masters. The zombies are you and me, or more specificallly the zombies are those of us who march with the political dead casting votes for regressive conservative masters. How else do you explain a vote for Bachmann? There has to be a zombie involved somewhere.

Zombie bites have consequences, very bad consequences.

Oh,but then there are the masters master…the ubermeisters…reigning over the obedient Boehner et al. The concentration of power — the fasci — tying industrial might to political power and ordering a bunch of ortsgruppenleiter about. Oh wait…best to reign it in a little. People will get all indignant over any hint of a Third Reich references. (I wouldn’t dare.) Slandering opponents as Nazis is reserved for the geniuses of the Tea Party anyway, and only then when insulting the sitting President of the United States. No one dare suggest that there might be a little fasci at work behind the doors at Koch Industries, for example. That would be scandalously unpatriotic, even unfair. (How dare I?) I can’t spell sturmabteilung anyway. Heil!

What’s this?? See…We all can have a little fun.

Anyway, no one needs to freak out. You can have intolerant fascists without the Nazi part. Remain calm.

I write this only to remind myself to watch that really strange, kind of lame, Norwegian zombie film, Dead Snow (2009), and see if I can draw any connections between that and the really bad episode of current American politics, the 113th United States Congress.

Like Congress, Dead Snow takes forever to get going and when something finally does happen, it is a lot of senseless — and very predictable — mayhem featuring zombies who happen to also be Nazis. Leave it to the Norwegians to provide the allegory.

And is there an allegory? No, not really, not in Dead Snow, at least. It is a teen zombie movie, a budding cult classic. That’s all. But who cares? The hint is apt.