Sir David Attenborough's Fucking Wildlife Page

Hello! I'm Sir David Attenborough and I fucking love wildlife, man. Well into it. Been all over the fucking place looking at monkeys, polar bears and shit. Hanging with Hyenas, chillaxing with Chimps, mooching with Macacques - I have done the fucking lot.

On this page I will be posting mildly interesting wildlife facts, anecdotes and pictures for the benefit of ESB's readership, along with details of my sexcapades with willing (and sometimes not so willing) females. There will also be occasional rants against people I don't like, such as the fucking Burmese.

Feel free to add your own interesting wildlife stuff, but make sure it's not boring. You wouldn't like Sir David Attenborough when he's bored, fucking believe that shit.

05/12/2011 - Pandas

I'm fucking sick of Pandas. They're useless. On that note, I'm off to Johnny Kingdom's to snort a load of blow and watch some fucking otters.