Thursday, November 16, 2017

But will they thank the president? -- Nov. 16, 2017 column

A great American tradition is again about to take
place -- and I don’t mean overeating, arguing over politics, watching football
and shopping.

Before those time-honored Thanksgiving rituals, the
president of the United States will issue a couple of pardons everybody can
agree on.

If all goes according to plan, two photogenic and well-behaved
turkeys from Minnesota will be driven to the nation’s capital. They will spend
the night in a luxury hotel before being delivered Tuesday to the White House,
where President Donald Trump will exercise his power to pardon.

The two lucky birds then will make the trip to
Virginia Tech, where they will join Tater and Tot, the turkeys President Barack
Obama pardoned last year, to live out their lives in a special enclosure called
“Gobbler’s Rest.”

Unlike the other 238 million turkeys raised in the
United States annually, these turkeys will never grace anyone’s dining room
table.

So, naturally, the question on Americans’ minds is: Will
the turkeys thank Trump?

This president loves to be thanked. You could say he demands
it. He asked in a tweet Wednesday whether the three UCLA basketball players
would say “thank you President Trump” for securing their freedom from a Chinese
jail.

The young men stupidly shoplifted in three stores in
China while on a team trip and got caught. “They were headed for 10 years in
jail!” Trump tweeted.

As presidents often do, he intervened and the three
were released. They did thank the president and the U.S. government. Trump then
tweeted “You’re welcome” and urged them to “give a big Thank you to President
Xi Jinping, who made your release possible and HAVE A GREAT LIFE!”

He also advised: “Be careful, there are many pitfalls
on the long and winding road of life!”

Speaking of pitfalls, it’s not true that Trump revoked
Obama’s turkey pardons and ordered the birds executed by firing squad. A satirical
website ran a “news” story to that effect earlier this year and gullible
readers have been spreading the fake news ever since.

But it’s not fake news that the feathered fortunates
traditionally spend the night before their White House appearance at the
historic Willard InterContinental Hotel, where the luxurious rooms cost upwards
of $350.

Rolls of brown paper,
pine shavings and plastic tape are involved in preparing for the guests, Time
magazine reported. No word yet on whether the new
hotel of choice will be Trump International on Pennsylvania Avenue.

When it comes to giving thanks, though, the pardoned
turkeys should be especially grateful to Virginia Tech.

Yes, Trump will pardon, but it would be news if he
didn’t. What happens next to the celebrity turkeys hasn’t been pretty.

The National Turkey Federation started giving
presidents a turkey for their Thanksgiving feast with Harry S Truman. John F.
Kennedy decided to send the turkey back to the farm in 1963, saying, “We’ll
just let this one grow.”

George H.W. Bush was the first president to use the
word pardon. He announced on Nov. 14 1989, the turkey had “been granted a
presidential pardon as of right now.”

Over the years, the freed turkeys were dispatched to Disneyland,
petting farms and Mount Vernon. Sad to say, wherever they went, they often died
months, or even days, later.

“The bird is bred for the table, not for longevity,”
Dean Norton, the director at Mount Vernon in charge of livestock, told CNN in
2013.

Fed a high-protein diet, the turkeys grow large but
their organs can’t keep up. They can’t fly or roost in trees like wild turkeys
and don’t live as long, he said.

That’s why the turkey federation sends two turkeys
every year – in case one falls ill before the big White House event.

The federation contacted Tech last year and said it
wanted to start a tradition of sending pardoned turkeys to universities with
strong poultry science departments, the Roanoke Times reported.

Tech’s Poultry Science Club built the enclosure in a
show barn in Blacksburg and welcomed Tater and Tot about a year ago. Faculty
credit the students’ good care with keeping the turkeys alive and thriving.