Competitiveness

I'm kind of on the fence about competitiveness. Despite what they may claim to the contrary, competitive people typically care alot about what/how other people think about them - perhaps too much. You'll frequently hear super competitive folks trying ham-handedly to justify their tendencies with statements like "I don't really care about what other people think, I'm mostly in competition with myself to be the best I can blahblahblah..." Yeah. Right. Typically, the only folks being deceived by these kinds of comments are the folks that speak them.

Super competitive folks may suffer from some deep-rooted insecurity or identity crisis feeling constantly compelled to compare themselves (and their worth) to others, but like most every human attribute, there is a sort of yin/yang sin/corresponding virtue thing going on. The fact is, competitive people usually DO achieve higher degrees of excellence than their live-and-let-live oriented brethren and constantly push the limits of acheivement. The world is undoubtedly a better place for their efforts.

Are you a particularly competitive person? If so, do you ever find yourself 'creating' competition in different activities in your life (work, play, etc)? Do you find that you tend to think of people as falling into 'winner' and 'loser' categories? Do you think the field of planning lends itself to competition and if so how/where does it play out?

Does anyone live with a 'competitor'? How's that working out?

Last edited by Maister; 30 Jul 2012 at 5:37 PM.

People will miss that it once meant something to be Southern or Midwestern. It doesn't mean much now, except for the climate. The question, “Where are you from?” doesn't lead to anything odd or interesting. They live somewhere near a Gap store, and what else do you need to know? - Garrison Keillor

I'm kind of on the fence about competitiveness. Despite what they may claim to the contrary, competitive people typically care alot about what/how other people think about them - perhaps too much. You'll frequently hear super competitive folks trying ham-handedly to justify their tendencies with statements like "I don't really care about what other people think, I'm mostly in competition with myself to be the best I can blahblahblah..." Yeah. Right. Typically, the only folks being deceived by these kinds of comments are the folks that speak them.

Super competitive folks may suffer from some deep-rooted insecurity or identity crisis feeling constantly compelled to compare themselves (and their worth) to others, but like most every human attribute, there is a sort of yin/yang sin/corresponding virtue thing going on. The fact is, competitive people tend usually DO achieve higher degrees of excellence than their live-and-let-live oriented brethren and constantly push the limits of acheivement. The world is undoubtedly a better place for their efforts.

Are you a particularly competitive person? If so, do you ever find yourself 'creating' competition in different activities in your life (work, play, etc)? Do you find that you tend to think of people as falling into 'winner' and 'loser' categories? Do you think the field of planning lends itself to competition and if so how/where does it play out?

I'm mostly a live and let live type of person. But, I really like a challenge. I want things to be in a state where I can succeed, but I have put in a solid effort and think carefully. Otherwise I'll just be bored all day.

I don't think of myself as competitive....at least with respect to most things. My wife was a high school athlete (gymnastics) and is competitive to a degree. I like that about her, I think we're a good mix. I have sometimes wished I were a little more competitive and driven, so I'm glad that the kids got some of that drive from her.

I don't really consider myself competitive to those around me. I know what I'm capable of doing but it doesn't really bother me if I don't demonstrate it or those around me are unaware of it. Although I do not like being in situations where I'm not ever able to demonstrate what I'm capable of since that can get rather boring.

Now it does bother me when I'm unable to achieve personal goals I've said I wanted to accomplish. That to some extent means I'm a bit insecure regarding where I am in life since I'm not where I want to be yet.

I am very competitive about things I have a decent shot of winning. Like trivia at the bar - I am a pro and will take on anyone. The problem is that it is due to others' opinions yet those same folks don't really care how well you do. I'm not sure if it all stems from depression or what, but I've found those who "try the hardest" are sometimes the most depressed and use it as a mask. I often don't think people like me when in reality I'm just being anxious.

My competitiveness really has to do with the context. In sports (which I don’t play a lot of these days) I can be pretty competitive, but not to the degree of being an arse. I just like a good game. I’m actually a pretty competitive ping pong and soccer player. Also with biking and running, though that’s either solo (can you compete against yourself?) or with a good friend. My biking buddy and I push each other, but all in good fun. I ran in a 5k recently and I will admit that I worked to pace with a guy much younger than me for the whole race and then smoked him at the very end. I guess was feeling pretty competitive that day.

I am not, however, a person that needs to always be right or the victor in conversations/discussions/arguments or the ultimate authority on things. Not my style. Getting along trumps being right for me much of the time (unless its something important). I don’t have a lot to prove, I guess. I’ve also mellowed with age. Like a good cheddar…

Same here. If it's a competition, I compete. I don't go out of my way to prove that I'm better at (insert context here) but if challenged, I'll do my best to win. I have no interest in or patience for "competitions" where everyone links arms and sings Kumbaya.

“Death comes when memories of the past exceed the vision for the future.”

People who are very competitive, but don't want to blow their cover, might not necessarily vote a Yes option.
People who are not competitive, but may not want to appear to be wet blankets, might vote a Yes option.

I am extremely noncompetitive in just about everything I do. On our bowling league, our team is the perpetual basement dwellers, but we always have a lot of fun. My favorite part of my fantasy football league is our annual auction night where I normally blow through my money much faster than everybody else and spend the rest of the evening socializing. When I run in races, I routinely stop to take pictures if I see something interesting or hangout with spectators on the sideline. In the Marine Corps Marathon a few years ago, a buddy and I even decided to hit up a few bars in Georgetown mid-race. I've never been known as a sore loser or an ungracious winner. There are more important things in life to worry about.

I am extremely noncompetitive in just about everything I do. On our bowling league, our team is the perpetual basement dwellers, but we always have a lot of fun. My favorite part of my fantasy football league is our annual auction night where I normally blow through my money much faster than everybody else and spend the rest of the evening socializing. When I run in races, I routinely stop to take pictures if I see something interesting or hangout with spectators on the sideline. In the Marine Corps Marathon a few years ago, a buddy and I even decided to hit up a few bars in Georgetown mid-race. I've never been known as a sore loser or an ungracious winner. There are more important things in life to worry about.

I'm kind of the same way.

I use to be hyper-competitive. But after having kids, I'd rather enjoy the scenery than worry about where I finish.

"I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany"

I was never competitive at work, although I saw many cut-throat types, and maybe that was a failing of mine. I couldn't believe other planners could be so mean.

I was never personally competitive athletically because I am no athlete and therefore had no reason to be competitive.

I admit to being a tad competitive when I was the kid's soccer coach, but I coached by the rules (exact same playing times for all players, no matter how talented they were), unlike other coaches in the league (and I thought that was so selfish of them), whether we won or lost, and boy, did I get a lot of flack from the parents of the better players. I guess I was able to overcome my competitiveness and I am glad of that. I think that since I have to athletic ability, it made me more sensitive to kids who, well, had the same problem...