I guess when you have a song titled ‘Bang Bang,’ you might as well go for it, right? It’s not like the title and lyrics of this song (ex.: I know you want it, back back seat of my car, I’ll let you have it) are a bastion of subtlety and nuance.

Still, did you have to be so darn blatant with the ‘this song is about fucking’-ness of the video?

Did you have to open with Ariana Grande lying on a bed, holding a megaphone which says ‘Bang?’

That is a … like… whatever the opposite of a metaphor is while still being a metaphor. I don’t even know how to physically describe what the director was going for there. It’s like the inverse of itself.

Plus, none of the women in this video are dressed in any other than bras–except Ariana. Bless her post-tween dignity. Whatever shred remains.

About David Covucci...
David Covucci is writer and blogger for BroBible dot com. He loves Twitter and whiskey. He can be reached at david.covucci@brobible.com.