Good Orderly Direction

Sailboat (Photo credit: Stephen Downes)

In case I haven’t mentioned it lately, I am 54 years young. The era of my 50’s sometimes seems like the most haphazard of my life so far. I can’t remember a decade when I have felt so much like a ship without a rudder.

When I was a small child, I couldn’t wait to be all grown up. In my 20’s it was all about marriage, making babies and managing top sales in a home party business. In my 30’s it was raising babies and starting a real, bricks and mortar business. My 40’s felt powerful, career and otherwise, with the selling of my business, utilizing my skills, and the start of a personal journey for some much needed balance, serenity and faith.

What can I say about my 50’s so far? Well, I feel rich in blessings, deep in spirit and more comfortable in my own skin. I also feel slightly worn out, like a pair of old slippers that are finally broken in. I have let my hair go back to it’s original (non dyed) color. It is an interwoven mix of silver and soft black. I receive lots of compliments on it and alternately, my share of folks who can’t help but stare at it.

My hair, just like me lately, is a wish to be authentic. To dig down deep and present myself as I truly am.

But back to the ship without a rudder. I’ve been thinking that maybe this is a good thing. I have always had goals, aspirations and dreams. I have always loved a good challenge. Maybe for once I can let the wind take me where it wishes and I can give up steering the ship so strongly for a while.

Good Orderly Direction (GOD) for me is about loving myself enough to follow a path that unfolds as it’s divinely meant to. It could unfold into something bigger than I can imagine, or it may just be the rest I’ve been craving. Hopefully it will be a direction that sets my sails for even greater spiritual awareness.

I remember when I realized I wasn’t enough, and that I had to look outside myself for fulfillment. It was the worst … and best … day of my life. I realized I didn’t have control (making it the worst), and realized that I didn’t need to have control, because Someone Else did (making it the best).

Oh man! Am I ignoring God!? That 2nd pix you have in this post is of a Sunrise in Vero Beach!? I was asked to go to Vero beach not 1x but 2x THIS very month. And almost all of it paid for except the plane tix!?

What is going on here?

I’m just drained tho. I’ve been sick all of Feb – close to 5 weeks to be exact with a cough. It’s almost behind me now but being out of it that long – has made me “outta it.” I just don’t think as fast right now and I feel like I need to build my brain power back up!

Plus the $500 airfare is a little daunting as well.

But isn’t that interesting? I never really heard of Vero Beach before this year.

If this IS my Good Orderly Direction – I think I’ll be seeing much more in the way of miracles to get me there!!

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Hi There!

I’m a Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania blogger, published author, wedding/event planner, and a recovering perfectionist! I love to look for grace in everyday life. Love, marriage, faith, children, and grandchildren are my favorite topics. Join me as I look for joyous moments.

Join me on my graceful journey.

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