I am not a victim

I am not a victim
Ever since I was in Kindergarten, I've been bullied. I was called "four-eyes", "pirate" and "annoying". Yes, I had glasses. Yes, I wore an eye-patch. And yes, I had ADHD. My earliest memory of school was when a student wrote "kill me" on a shirt. I was devastated.
Skip to Middle school, and things were more miserable. My best friends ditched me, and everyone began to date around me. I was called a "prude" for not dating. In 8th grade, I got accepted to Rosary High School (a local, all-girls, Catholic school). I was thrilled. That thrill quickly dissipated when I was being called a "lesbian" for choosing this school.
At Rosary, I really had a hard time assimilating to the culture there. Everyone had a friend group already picked from the beginning of the year. I finally found my niche with a group of girls who sat at the "peanut-free" table at lunch. I instantly sent my body into "good-impression mode". I began to lie about every little thing. This instantly raised a red-flag to my friends, and they "excommunicated" me from the friend group. During all this, I found that I was being talked about in a crude manner behind my back, by not only the girls at Rosary, but the boys at Marmion as well. In October of my Junior year, I was expelled from Rosary for a lousy choice I had made. I prayed and prayed, and I chose to not give up. I registered as a Junior at Batavia High School (the public school in my town). I promised that I would live with no regrets.
At Batavia, adjusting was hard. I had made a few friends (not including my sister), but I wanted more. I believed that the more people that surrounded me, the more I would be liked. I soon found out that belief was false. I wore clothing that was inappropriate for school, and I used my body to get attention. I was still bullied and I didn't know why. Eventually, the bullying got to be too much, and I enrolled in an alternative school called Joan Treland and Associates. This school was my saving grace. I graduated from Batavia High School in the Spring of 2011. Walking across that stage, with my gold stole, was the greatest thing I could imagine.
Currently, I am seeking counseling for my depression, ADHD, anxiety, and Autism. I can honestly say that the LORD has blessed me with my amazing family, great friends, and the gift of Music. I encourage anyone struggling with being bullied, to pray, and to remind yourself that bullies say things to feel powerful. Life gets better.
I am no longer a victim.
I am a survivor.

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