Review: Game of Thrones SE6 EP7 – The Broken Man

A cold opening on Game of Thrones usually means DRAMA, and one could sense a big reveal coming with a sequence of mysterious body shots in a non-descript area of Westeros.

SPOILERS AHEAD. BE WARNED

Enter The Hound, now a simple labourer chopping wood for a born-again Septon played by Ian McShane. Still sporting a limp from his bust-up with Brienne, The Hound pretty much played out the entire plot from Unforgiven and, without trying to give away too much about that Eastwood classic, Sandor had enough of the simple life after about 10 shagging minutes. Somebody’s in trouble because The Hound has an axe and a dream. A dream of killing people with that axe.

Ready to mess your shit up

Margaery’s up to something. And her new-found obedience to the Faith of the Seven is such a well-constructed sham, she’s even got the High Sparrow fooled. After discovering that she hasn’t been giving Tommen the obligatory royal knee-trembler behind the bike shed, Margaery slipped a coded plea into the Queen of Thorn’s hands to leave Westeros at once. It simply read: “Don’t worry Granny, I gots this”. Margaery has been training all her life for the Game of Thrones, and this might be her Rocky II moment.

Arya, while trying to arrange a boat back to Westeros, was ambushed by that stick girl doing the classic kindly crone act. Arya was gutted like a fish, but managed to pull off something resembling an escape. I really don’t get this, did Arya just leave a notorious cabal of shadowy assassins and then completely misread their capacity for understanding? It seems so counter to her low, vengeful cunning. At least she seems on the right track now, provided she doesn’t fall into the care of a notorious cabal of shadowy nurses who slowly heal her over the course of 2 seasons.

Is that the direction all the story is happening?

Theon doesn’t have a penis, so Asha eventually clocked that motorboating a prostitute in front of him was a tad insensitive. Asha, forcing Theon to neck an ale of consolation, outlined her plans to sail to Meereen and offer their services to the Dragon Queen. It makes sense, Daenarys needs boats and the Greyjoys need to feel relevant after 6 seasons. Ahoy!

Jaime must have access to Littlefinger’s jetpack, because he made seriously good time to Riverrun. After having some top banter with the returning Bronn and giving the Freys’ pathetic attempts at a siege the contempt it deserved, Jaime took over proceedings and tried to reason with the Blackfish. Needless to say, Catelyn’s uncle wasn’t receptive to making peace with the people who violently slit his niece’s throat and threw her in a river, so he politely declined Jaime’s offer.

Jaime Lannister: Slayer of kings and wearer of 21st century haircut

And lastly, Jon, Sansa and Davos are struggling to get the numbers for their imminent attack on Winterfell. Initially, the utterly badass girl-commander of Bear Island was reluctant to chip in with any aid to Jon’s seemingly pointless war effort. However, after failing to be won over by Jon’s mumbling, Davos stepped forward and won the precocious youngster over with his grandad charm. Unfortunately, Bear Island’s contribution amounted to a whopping 62 men. No wonder the only two Mormonts we’ve met up until now were scattered to the far reaches of George R.R Martin’s fantasy world. They were lonely.

Sansa, realising that any attack on Winterfell would have to happen soon, reluctantly wrote to arch-fiend Petyr Baelish, who now has the might of the Vale behind him. It makes sense. Material concepts like walls and distance are no obstacle to Littlefinger, who will no doubt be knocking down Ramsay’s door yesterday.

This week’s episode of Game of Thrones, like many this season, teased more than it delivered. While too slow-moving to be nourishing, it was just about quick enough to leave us wanting more. The welcome return of The Hound and Bronn, added to the fantastic Diana Rigg’s spiky portrayal of Lady Olenna Tyrell, at least peppered proceedings with some charisma and screen presence. And not before time, most of the characters who had those qualities are either dead or hanging out with assassins. Game of Thrones traditionally waits until episode 8 or 9 to blow its budget all over your face and leave you cursing the year you have to wait until the next season. Though the pacing is relaxed, it still feels like we’re heading somewhere. For this reason, and in recognition of The Hound’s return, I’m giving this week’s episode of Game of Thrones, “The Broken Man”: 3.5 motorboating pirate queens out of 5.