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They're both things which people have famously kept quiet about, I think.

I assumed the robbery was the Great Train Robbery, after which none of the gang ate cheese on the others even as most of them were tracked and arrested. The murder in '73 could be Jimmy Hoffa, the US trade union leader whose death/disappearance and the location of his body have been a secret ever since? Although actually I have a feeling Hoffa disappeared a few years later.

The murder could also be Kathleen Feeney, a 14 year old who was shot dead by the IRA in 1973. The IRA at the time denied it and blamed it on the British forces (even going so far as to kill a random British soldier in the area in 'retaliation'), and the British forces denied it as well, since they had nothing to do with it. The IRA only admitted responsibility in 2005, I think, so at the time the song was written it was just the British Army and the IRA both denying they had anything to do with Kathleen Feeney's death - whoever knew the truth was 'keeping it all in'.

General CommentI think the abuse might be simply figurative, not physical. The 'keeping it all in' is about not really opening up to your other half, not letting them in, not talking to them about anything other than the everyday and mundane.
Or receiving verbal abuse from your partner, how it's described both times as a 'conversation'.

I don't know...every time I look back at these lyrics my opinion changes...

General CommentIn general, I agree with the abuse angle -- though not necessarily physical.

The song feels like a cynical response to a "You keep your feelings bottled in" barb from a "loved" one (and I think they've kept it open ended so that either gender and your adult/ child/ parent can connect): "Of course I keep my feelings bottled up! What do you expect after years of systematic abuse where you neglected, bullied, failed to love me (or years of watching your miserable, failed relationship if you're seeing things from the daughter's angle)?"

I guess, what I'm saying is that the song seems to be about the damage inflicted over time by a vast majority of relationships which causes us to shut down emotionally.