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Monday, November 2, 2009

Monday, November 2, 2009

I don't usually post name misspellings, because - let's face it - names are kind of a crap shoot. Even really common names have those few screwball versions that mess it up for the rest of us. (I'm looking at you, Jenifer with one "n" and Jerimee with no "y"!) So really, bakers can't be expected to get them all right.

However, there is a point at which names get so thoroughly butchered that your only option is to laugh. These...[dramatic pause]... are those butcherings.

"Let's see, is it Steven or Stephen?"

"Eh, I guess I'll go with both."

This approach also works with the "ie" vs "y" issue:

(Try saying this aloud, and see if you don't sound like you're stuck in a stutter loop. "Criss-ee-ee-ee. No wait, I mean, Criss-ee-ee-ee-eah-crap.")

Those at least have a method to their mistakes, but now we're going to veer into some unexplained territory. See if you can guess the names on these next three:

Did you get them all? Here are the answers: Sarah, Susanna, and Seth. Yes, really. Seth.

Fortunately, sometimes a Wreckerator will recognize that something looks a little "off" with his or her spelling. When this happens, s/he will do the only sensible thing: draw a question mark after the name - on the cake.

Then, when the customer points out that the name in question should be "Jenny" and not "Fenny", the Wreckerator will spare no effort in making a few virtually undetectable corrections:

I couldn't figure out why my page kept refreshing, I guess it was because you were posting the new pics. I suppose it pays to forget to set the clock by my bed back an hour and get up way to early for classes. Have a great day. Debra

That's too funnyie! I guess they are covering all their bases, there, yes? (Reminds me of Stepfanie Kramer . . . when she was registering her name with the Screen Actors Guild, she found out that both traditional spellings of Stephanie (Stefanie) were already used with her name "Kramer." She wrote "Stepfanie," never really expecting it to be accepted, but it was. The rest is history!)

I got Sarah . . . got Susanne . . . never in a million years would have gotten Seth! Seth? Really?

Poor Jfenny! I would have said, "Pfooiey!"

WV: tryet. Always ask the customer for the proper spelling. Tryet next time!

Similar to cake writing, I do writing on ceramic plates for folks. So far I've seen: Madison, Maddyson, Madyson, Maedesun, Maddison, Maddisson and Madson. I would've sworn that there was only one way to spell it, "Madison."

Granted I double and triple check the names I am given, but really, it can be hard on the side where one has to wonder, if the name spelling was done in ignorance or a unfortunate creative choice.

Happy B'day John!-------This is exactly why, when I had to get a bakery cake at the last minute because I was too sick to make my twins' cake as planned, I did not ask them to put names on the cake but just "Happy Birthday". Their names are uncommon (though standardly spelled), and there just wasn't time to fix it, if things went wrong.

My name is pretty basic Anglo stuff and still gets spelled wrong, most recently by my OB/GYNs office. Most people seem to want to cram an extra 'e' into it to make it Kimberley. I keep telling people that I am neither a diamond mine nor a bloody great desert, thanks.

I've actually had to argue about it more than once. Yes, argue that MY name is spelled the way *I* spell it, and no, that I didn't write it wrong on the form. Duhhhhhhhhhh.

As for Sausanna, I think the baker had sausages for breakfast and maybe is also a Kids in the Hall fan. "SAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUSAGES!" A small number of those reading will find this very funny, the rest will be confused, as is the KitH way. :D

Lucky "Shrah"! At least no one tried to create their own version of Hello Kitty. That could ruin any kid's birthday.

And do they still serve beer at Chuck E. Cheese? Because it shouldn't be to the people making cakes, even if they do get employee discounts. The butterfly is on super-straight, and the writing's sliding south-- can't blame that 'h' for jumping ship! Is that other purple thing a big candle?

What amuses and terrifies me about these mispellings is that any of these could be actual people's names.

I've always thought we should imitate the French by legislating that parents can only name their kids from an approved list of recognizable names.

I used to be a copy editor, and we were at a loss when it came to names (unless a very famous person was being named), because people spell their names every way imaginable, and many ways normal people would never imagine. Also, people have words on their birth certificates that most of us would never recognize as names at all. If a name appeared with more than one spelling in an article and we had no way of finding the correct spelling, we just went with the first version.

My mother says that people who have just had a baby (or are about to) are so hormonally disrupted that they develop bizarre tastes in names. That's as good an explanation as any.

Sometime, look at the "Baby Names" section on a forum like Yahoo Answers, and you'll see what I mean. Most of the mothers-to-be (it's rarely fathers) post things like, "I'm thinking of naming my baby Steaming Pile of Dog Dung if it's a boy, or Oozing Infected Pustule if it's a girl. How does that sound to you?" Most of the responses are along the lines of "Oh, that's sooooo cute! You should definitely name your baby that!"

Those bakers may well have been right though. I know a wilfully functionally illiterate teen who insists on abbreviating Abigayle, her given name, to Abbiey. She thinks it's different. I think she needs a punch in the head with a dictionary.

As a Sarah, I recognized that one IMMEDIATELY- if you say "Sarah with an -h", the H is a random letter to be placed anywhere in the name except at the end.Creativity with silent letters knows no bounds.

The first time I read the Sarah cake, I thought they had gone for "Shrek" but misspelled it "Shrak". :D Doesn't make that much more sense though, does it? And Seth? Seth? How did that turn into a, misspelled, version of the Star Wars ice planet with the Tauntauns? 'Cause that's what I saw there. Though to be honest, I think if you're an entire planet, you probably get something grander for your birthday than wrecked cake.

I know theres already a few Sarah's that have responded, but let me add.

90% of the population understands what you mean when you say "Sarah with an H" (which, if you know someone is gonna write your name down I think most would agree that you either say "Sarah with an H" or "Sara without an H") but every once and a while I will say that to someone and I will see their brain function hault and their eyes roll to the back of their head in confusion as they are trying to comprehend what I just said to them. Thats when you know the H will end up anywhere but where it's suposed to be.

My kids all have traditional spellings of their names- but when I had my third child (Army hospital, Fort Stewart, Georgia), they asked me her name and I said, "Christine, just like its supposed to be spelled."

The receptionist in the clinic just looked at me and said, "Last week we had one- C-R-Y-S-S-T-Y-N-E... there is no "just like" anymore."

I got Sarah for #1, but I was sure #2 was going to be Savanna (or some variation).

#3 made me tilt my head, squint, and give up to scroll down for the answer. I would not have ever gotten Seth out of that!

As someone who has always had to spell my name (common name, MANY spelling variations, uncommon but classic spelling) it blows my mind that people still get simple basic names like Sara/h or Jenny wrong. It certainly explains some of the more frustrating customer "service" experiences I have had though.

Spelling names is always a challenge. When I used to enroll children for our library story time we were lucky when parents spelled the names for us. But then we would get hit with the slightly unusual--Jonh (sic), Bbob (sic), Stasci (sic). Come on, people, give your kids a break. There are enough weird legimately spelled names out there.(stepping gently off the soap box and going to look for cake to eat)

Happy Birthday, John. I'd sing, but it would be a wreck of different kind.

Oh. I thought it was supposed to be Savanna. Then I read the comments and everyone kept talking about Susanne and I couldn't figure out what they were talking about! Even though I read the blog, it didn't stick, I guess. And yes... Seth? Really? I also thought it was a Star Wars reference.

Having seen myriad misspellings of my own names, I wanted classic spellings for my children's. I still have to spell them out. Laura, Caleb, Bethany; people seem to not be sure of what classic spellings are anymore, and are afraid to offend.

And now I know why my mom never had my name on my birthday cake unless she put it there! (Non-traditional spelling of something close to "Laura"). I mean, until she realized I like pie and it's just goofy to put frosting on pie. Especially since I don't like frosting.

As someone named Sarah I have seen that misspelling and other similar ones many times. Some people don't know where to put the 'H' but I have received several cards that are addressed to Shara, Sharh, or Shra.

To Lauren @ 12:24: When I was a kid I lived down the street from a girl whose name was Sauna, so I guess there's at least one parent who would do that!

When going thru my mom's papers I found a receipt for one of my birthday cakes that said "Caroline with a Y" on it...I guess that made sense to the decorator since every cake I remember said "Carolyn" on it.

It's kind of depressing to realize that there are lots of fairly common names that people can't spell! I've been spelling my name for people my whole life--not because of the "Elizabeth" vs "Elisabeth" thing, but because apparently the vowels are just too tricky. There's no "u" in "Elizabeth", thanks.

Jen, I got your book this weekend and now my ribs hurt from laughing so much! It's HYSTERICAL! I loaned it to my mom & sisters, with the caveat that they can't have anything in their mouths while they read it (I don't want diet coke spittle all over the pages).

As a Sarah I know exactly what happened. It turns out you can't just say "Sarah with an H" and expect people to know where to put it. (You SHOULD be able to but that doesn't mean that you CAN.) I've had my H all over the place. Sheesh.

I received my Cake Wrecks book today and love it! My favorite part is the Oscar reference! I thought my family and I were the only ones who knew about that movie - we quote it all the time and got my husbaned hooked, too :)

I'm thinking "Crissyie" might actually be legit. In the 1920s it was popular to put an E at the end of any girl's name ending in Y: Marye, Bessye, etc., and I've seen a few modern examples from parents who are either trying to be retro or just plain can't spell.

Awww, John - thanks for sharing your birthday with me! And I'm unusually spelled both for my nickname and full name, so this is a great birthday post. Many are the times I've cursed my mother for spelling it "creatively", but now it's stuck.

We've heard from several ppl who have 'popular' names and get them spelled wrong...how about those of us with uncommon names? Lenore seems like it is pretty straight-forward but I've gotten everything from 'Lenoir' (which is the 18th century spelling) to Leynor and even Leonard. My sister has it worse...her name is Michaeline. You can only imagine what people do that that!

My first and middle names have been on the top 10 baby names list EVERY YEAR since the year I was born (and my last name is always in the top 100, since it's also a first name), so they're pretty common and popular.

Dd and I sooo much regretted missing y'all in KC last night, but she had to start her new job. Fortunately, she'll be working in a place with a bakery on-site...fodder.... Happy Belated Birthday, John!!

What's really sad is that my mom, a former cake maker/decorater,spelled my name wrong on one of my birthday cakes. Me. Her DAUGHTER. Unfortunately I don't have a picture and it doesn't qualify since it wasn't "purchased" but still- cake lady misspells daughter's name on birthday cake. Lovely.

THANK YOU so much for those. I was at the hospital all day with my daughter who had to have surgery, and have been crying all day and sick with worry. This was the first time I laughed all day, and it felt good.

Cake #2 definitely says Savanna. It's still a wreck in that they scraped off the H after finding out it was wrong for her spelling. But as a Savanna-with-no-H I can't tell you how many times I've seen this... *sigh* Give us H-less Savanna's some credit! :)

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