A chronicle of life with debilitating, daily migraines, trippy auras, and all of the challenges, obstacles, struggles, battles, disappointments, and, once in awhile, blessings, that come with this life...

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

I am interested in so many things and try my hand at so many things, that I stress myself out because I want to do everything my absolute best--from parenting, to writing, to scrapbooking, to Tae Kwon Do--it has all been so overwhelming! The other day, my daughter asked me how come I never watch T.V. I looked at her, perplexed. I do, I said. No, she pointed out, you kind of listen to it, but you are always on your laptop or your phone or writing something or reading or doing laundry or something. It hit me--she was so right! I almost never allow myself to do one thing at a time! Why? Why in the world am I doing this to myself?! I realize that I do this because I am so afraid of not getting something done because of the migraines that I force myself to get everything done as quickly as possible. I understand now why I do it. But, I gotta tell ya, this is no way to live! I thought I had gotten past this, I thought I had evolved and was accepting my limitations. I was fooling myself. Now that I know this, I pledge to myself to do better. No, not do more things. I have had to cross some things off my "have to do" list permanently (eek!) and others I have moved to the "will do if/when I have time list." I have decided that I will do one thing at a time as much as possible and try to be "in the moment," as they say. I am freaked out about doing this. I have been trying it the past few days and it is weird and it is scary, but I know it is best for me. And, I have actually had time (and the energy) to do some cool crafty projects, with glitter, of course, and it relaxes me and the sense of accomplishment completing a project brings me is an awesome feeling! So, I will glitter on! And rest when I am tired and stop making so many damn lists!