I write here to those who I cannot write to, Here you read from those who don't write to you.

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Lust

A constant sadness, a disappointment is pulling me down every second, the dissatisfaction of not getting what I need, the hopelessness about the future, this is my current situation.

Current is an interesting term. It not only denotes the present, a given time, it also denotes a continuous flow, something I’m constantly feeling nowadays. Amidst all this negativity, the pathos, the absence of any progress, the uninteresting tomorrows, suddenly there is a current of attraction in my life. Attraction towards someone known, and yet unknown. The heart suddenly beating faster, a growing desire to catch a glimpse, an even stronger desire to grab your attention, the constant hope to meet, to talk, to walk together, the bold attempts to touch, an innocent throwing of my hands on your shoulder, a simple brush against your arms, dropping hints on what I like, probing you for your likes, your goals, your life in short. Always have been on the receiving end of a proposal, I never knew just how hard it was. To feel so strongly for someone, and just not do anything about it at all. I’m waiting for a small gesture, few words, or maybe just a call that tells me this is mutual or just something that shows there is some hope for me after all. With all the pessimism surrounding me, and an accepted fact of my dull and unappealing appearance, this seems like an one way street, an imaginary world where only I live, and you’re here unaware of my dreams of a beautiful tomorrow with you. And yet deep within, a hope exists, a hope that keeps this kindled flame alive, the flame that’s messed up my current to more than I can bear. This flame must be extinguished for there is so much to do already. The flame just pulling me back even more! But if only the flame kindled within you too, ah! Then everything would become easy, you would make me work, finish every task, face every problem with a smile. You would truly complete every incomplete aspect of me. But how do I kindle the flame in you or at least blow off the flame raging within me.