Dr. Terri Conley: Changing the Way We Think About Monogamy

Having researched women’s studies and psychology since 1991, University of Michigan Associate Professor Terri Conley, Ph.D., is a leader in the field and has dedicated her life to examining these topics in new ways, particularly monogamy.

Growing up in a small Indiana town with a closeted lesbian mother, she saw firsthand the problems that existed (and still do) within gender differences, monogamy and intergroup relationships.

“I think issues of gender and sexuality, even though I wasn’t aware of it at the time, were influencing me,” she said. “I think I became very aware of those dynamics, and I wanted to explore them more.”

Conley used her personal experiences to build a thriving career she’s passionate about, where she spends her days closely researching these subjects and presenting her findings in a fun and informational way.

“Doesn’t everyone want to get paid to talk about and research sex?” she joked.

Her pioneering work

Conley, who’s been an associate professor of psychology and women’s studies at the University of Michigan since 2008, focuses on three major lines of research, which include:

Gender differences in sexuality

Minority group members’ perceptions of members in other groups

Traditional monogamy compared to consensual nonmonogamy

While she’s an expert in all three of these areas, what’s really taken flight is her research about consensual departures from monogamy – a topic she said that’s seldom studied.

Conley describes consensual nonmonogamy as a form of commitment between a couple who decides, whether separately or together, to have more than two people in the relationship, whether for sexual or companionship purposes. A polyamorous relationship is a good example of this.

“Sometimes the pillars of our current culture are that monogamy is the best, monogamy is the best way to approach relationships, so it’s a firmly held core belief. By challenging that, we’ve threatened a lot of people, but again nothing is to say monogamy is bad,” she said. “It’s just suggesting that for some people in some circumstances, there might be a better pathway. I think that will be really good for people to get different perspectives on how people date.”