If
there ever was just one sentence that could perfectly describe
the Balkans in all its intricacy, this would be it: Just as
one thinks that things could not possibly get any worse, they
do. As said before here, the veins of irony and misery seem
to run deep and bitter throughout the beleaguered peninsula.
So pervasive is their presence that despair seems the order
of the day every day, and laws of logic apply only
to those labeled insane. See for yourselves.

The
British Are Coming!

Bosnia-Herzegovina
is getting a new viceroy in May. According to the BBC, the
new Lord Protector will be former Liberal Democrat, Paddy
Ashdown. Having been ruled by a Swede, a Spaniard and
an Austrian (again), Bosnia
will finally experience the joys of British rule. Yet given
Albion's record of administering foreign lands, one might
forgive the people of Bosnia for being less than enthusiastic.

Cyprus;
India; Iraq;
Ireland; Israel ("Palestine mandate"); Kuwait; Nigeria; Pakistan;
South Africa; all of these territories were governed by the
British during their Great Imperial Experiment  which the
current Empire so eagerly wishes to replicate. In all instances,
between arbitrary borders and ethnic/religious favoritism,
these areas went from bad to worse and have never recovered.
Where the British actually settled, such as in North America,
Australia, and New Zealand, the native population was simply
exterminated to the point where they could no longer make
trouble. Something close to a billion people in this world
have good reasons to rue the day the British Empire came to
town. Will Bosnia now join the list?

Putting
The "Vice" In "Viceroy"

In
all fairness, Ashdown should not be judged solely by his ethnic
identity. That's what the Empire does. So let him be judged
by his accomplishments.

He
got involved in the Bosnian war very early, as one of the
first European politicos who saw posturing in the Balkans
as a means of scoring political points at home. After some
initial statements that
clashed with the "party line" of the world press at the time,
Ashdown, being a good politician, adjusted his tune. By 1998,
he was testifying of the "international nature" of Bosnia's
civil war at the
Hague Inquisition, andwas an active cheerleader
of the "humanitarian intervention" in Kosovo, as Tony Blair's
special envoy.

This
is really the first time that this position is filled by someone
with such unabashedly prejudiced positions on the Bosnian
situation and the Balkans crisis in general. With the near-absolute
power in the job description, politicians and bureaucrats
around the Empire should be fighting tooth and nail over becoming
the overlord of Bosnia. So why Ashdown? Were there no other
takers  highly unlikely!  or was he chosen deliberately,
because of his prejudice?

For
six years, Bosnia has had to put up with foreign overlords
who redefined the letter of the Dayton Peace Agreement any
which way they wanted, ruling by decree, dismissing elected
officials and dictating laws to the legislature. Bosnia's
Constitution was reinterpreted ad absurdum to mean
something it could not conceivably mean, or simply ignored,
all for the purpose of creating a central state. Ashdown has
already announced that his goal would be helping Bosnia "achieve
full statehood in Europe." Never mind that in the current
EU statehood means very little, Bosnia's actual
"statehood" would mean an end to Ashdown's job. And which
political office has ever abolished itself?

Operation
Embarrassing Truth

Last
Saturday, a Macedonian police patrol fought and killed seven
gunmen. Five were identified as Pakistani citizens, armed
with automatic weapons and in possession
of UCK insignia.
According to the Macedonian police, these were some
of the mujahedin
who fought alongside the UCK (NLA) last year, and were now
planning to attack Western targets inside Macedonia. The mujahedin
also fought alongside the UCK (KLA) in Kosovo, with NATO's
help. According to the head of Albania's intelligence service,
Osama Bin Laden
was in Albania just a few years ago, before he became
"The Evil One."

The
event was grudgingly acknowledged in Empire's European reaches,
though some cast
doubts on its veracity. Certainly, the more interesting
topic was the squabble between
NATO and the EU over who would get to take charge of occupying
Macedonia.On this
side of the Atlantic, the news was more interesting from
the perspective of potentially embarrassing the close friendship
between the US and the militant Albanians in the region.

Either
way, the Macedonians cannot seem to get an even break. So
what if they were right all along? Being the Empire means
never having to say you're sorry. Given the previous Balkans
experiences with admitting the obvious long after it could
do any good, things in Macedonia are likely to stay the same
 and more's the pity.

Heroes,
NY Times-Style

Given
the Al-Qaeda link to the Albanian militants in Macedonia,
allegations end evidence of their involvement with the UCK
in Kosovo  a much bigger operation  seem a lot more serious
now. What a bitter irony for all, but especially "Taliban
John" Walker Lindh, if he had a chance to read the March
4 New York Times. Consider this: he
went to Pakistan, joined the Taliban there, got caught last
year, and now awaits trial for treason. Yet 400 other American
citizens established an entire brigade of the KLA almost
four years ago and went to fight in Kosovo, unhindered.

Three
of them, the Butyqi brothers, were buried in New York this
past weekend, with full honor guard of uniformed KLA (which
was supposedly "disbanded" in July 1999!). The New
York Times celebrated them as freedom-fighting heroes,
who bravely fell for truth, justice and the American Way (as
Senator Lieberman put it).
Representative Engel (D-NY) came to their funeral. Their caskets
were escorted by none other than William Walker, the famously
"neutral" originator
of the "Racak massacre" hoax. The Official Paper
of Record even had them compared to the Sullivan
brothers of World War Two.

Both
the Butyqis and Walker Lindh were US citizens, fighting for
foreign militias that were recognized as terrorist and engaged
in documented atrocities. Yet Taliban John is now in jail,
and the Butyqis get a heroes' funeral. Why? Because the KLA
was  and still is  a US ally, and thus by definition good,
virtuous and immune to charges of terrorism, no matter what
it does, or what it really
fights for.

Yes,
so just and noble was the Butyqi brothers' cause, they were
killed while (allegedly) helping three Roma men escape the
"freedom" they  with a little help of NATO bombs  helped
achieve. Does irony simply have to be so cruel?

A
Forgotten Discovery

After
fourteen days of proceedings against Slobodan Milosevic, the
Hague Inquisition has only managed to prove its penchant for
embarrassing incompetence. Not used to having its power challenged,
having previously dealt with meek defendants willing to cut
deals or blame others, it has faced shockingly strong
and competent resistance from Milosevic. Most of its witnesses
have been revealed as either ignorant, perjurers, or both.
This most likely necessitated the use of "protected"
witnesses last Friday, in closed proceedings. Since no
transcripts were made available, no one knows who these people
were, what they spoke of, and whether their claims could be
verified in cross-examination  assuming one was allowed.

The
press was more interested in reporting on the agony
of those Serbs who eagerly
supported the Inquisition, or spinning last
week's testimony of one Halit Barani, a "human rights
activist" who supposedly parried with Milosevic. Had they
known who Barani was, they might have thought twice.

On
New Year's Eve 1999, some 6 months after NATO's occupation
of Kosovo, the Wall Street Journal carried a report
debunking many lies about the alleged Serb "genocide" of Kosovo
Albanians. Many claims were exposed as fraudulent in the article,
among them the notorious
lie about thousands of Albanian bodies thrown into the
shafts of Trepca mines. The purveyor of this claim was one
Halit Barani, a "human rights" activist who worked mostly
with the help and resources of the KLA.

Nebojsa
Malic left his home in Bosnia after the Dayton Accords and
currently resides in the United States. During the Bosnian
War he had exposure to diplomatic and media affairs in Sarajevo,
and contributed to the Independent.
As a historian who specializes in international relations
and the Balkans, Malic has written numerous essays on the
Kosovo War, Bosnia and Serbian politics, many of which have
been published by the Serbian Unity Congress. His
exclusive column for Antiwar.com appears every Thursday.

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