Observations of the illusion through the eyes of wonder…

“Because I said So!” #1linerwednesday

“But why can’t we go swimming with the Wood ducklings? They get to have all the fun.”

“Why do we have to listen to her? We can just go when she isn’t looking. Should we bring Teenie?”

“No way! She’s our decoy! On the count of three we go for it. Thanks Teenie!”

Mothers need eyes in back of their heads. (I know I have mine. It costs a fortune for glasses) And a word to all young mothers who have decided to let their children rule the household without any direction. There really are times when you don’t owe them any explanations. You may just save a life, or at least a few more gray hairs from popping out.

“Because I said so!”

This post is for Linda Hill’s #1linerwednesday prompt. Do visit her page and join the fun!

😀Thanks Amy. I never said it a lot to my boys, didn’t want to wear it out. They knew why we had certain rules. But as older teens they often wanted things that I simply had to say no to. Limo riding on graduation night with friends and the one mother who wished she was still a teen and actually called my son one day to “chat” and invite him to a movie. He was 16 at that time. Driving a car at fifteen with more than two people. Sometimes we don’t owe any explanation other than, “I couldn’t live with myself if things went wrong and don’t want you to have to.”

All I can say is thank goodness with age comes a wee bit of wisdom except for “some” people. Sigh. Honest to Pete. Some peeps don’t know how to grow up. I would bet your sons as teens did not appreciate your “wisdom” but in hindsight I bet they do now. 💖

They had their moments but all in all they were not rebellious. The “baby” was the slowest to realize we actually are pretty wise. We talked to them a lot about what parenting meant and didn’t just have rules. They’d do anything to avoid a lengthy “educational” lecture! 😂

Thanks Amy. Coming from a divorce withe the first three still being young, we spent a lot of time apart due to visitations lasting a year with each of us. We all appreciated the precious time we had together. Oh there were issues but they were always resoleved.

Cheryl, some parents do not know how to communicate with their kids in a healthy way. You need to pat yourself on the back for learning how to keep the communication lines open. Good for you! Today especially disrespect is viral with kids or kids being the adults instead of the adults. It’s nuts!

I know Amy, I have prided myself on being able to identify with young people during the generations but I am suddenly feeling a huge gap with the youngest adults that are becoming parents. The problem I feel spans two generations and stems from an honest attempt at kinder, gentler parenting that turned into over indulgent apathy. I know so many young parents that seem helpless to direct their children with their own parents doing nothing positive to help. Young people are treating their children as though they are already adults and most don’t know what it means to want or to wait or to be without. That leads to a sense of dis-ease in a person. Part of personal growth lies in the need to create, to build something out of nothing, to have something to show for a job well done. I truly think that is where a lot of the general anger in many young people stems from. To be angry that you have student loans to pay?! I couldn’t get such a thing when I graduated. It was either a scholarship, which I didn’t qualify for-or grants, which I didn’t qualify for-or wealthy parents, which I did not have. End of story. No college. Now everyone can go. But I am not sure everyone needs to go. Seems like another racket for the government. Many of these grads end up with regular jobs, paying no more than if they had no degree. Oaky, getting off of my soapbox now.

Oh wow, Cheryl, you are seeing the same things I am and boy do I love the way you think. I do the same thing. This “me” generation or should I say generations? No one wants to work towards anything but just wants the handouts. Kids getting into things they have no business getting into while parents are busy playing around. I have a neighbor with a 4 year old son who actually bosses his mother around. Shocking to observe for this woman has not a clue how to discipline or when she does she lets the “anger” build and then she blows. There is little if any direction in today’s kids and you are right about the college … I knew an 18 year old young girl and all I heard was complaints on hard college was and how wrong the teachers were etc. OMG! I worked my butt off in college and yeah, I did have school loans but that is because hubby and I didn’t even have 2 nickels to rub together. He a car’s salesman (not a very good one) working for commissions and I was a cocktail waitress until school. So we lived on one income barely and saved to build our house at the same time. We ate a lot of pasta. Oh yeah. And let me swing back to this young woman …. lots of anger because well, she doesn’t have what she wants. Give you an example. Her train of thought since she has her cosmetology license that entitles her to open her own shop in her mother’s house. No experience, mind you, and the attitude she just was the best. I talked her into getting a college education in business and advised her to get experience but no go on that one. She was already good enough. Yeah right. In the meantime she is paying bills while her mom is having fun with match.com and conniving to get the richest guy and snag him. These family structures are a nightmare with roles reversed, no discipline, no sense of togetherness, everyone out for him or herself. I really tried to be the sensible adult in this young woman’s life but when she began to dabble in the occult I said bye bye. There is SO much dis-ease in mind, body and soul with the last two generations it scares me. What’s the answer? Beats me. Thank YOU for listening as I know you are on the same wavelength here. Embrace your family and be so happy that you did the impossible in today’s world that is so messed up!

Thanks Amy. I get what you are expressing. I just think the generation with small children now was, and continues to be, overindulged by their own parents and have nothing to draw upon but trying to give their kids anything and everything they want and keep them happy with material things so they don’t think too much or are in any way miserable. Money, money, money. Not for food and needs but for new phones, toys, makeup, etc. Trust me, it wasn’t an easy thing to explain to my youngest son, after we actually moved to another state for him to attend the film school he chose, why he didn’t have season passes to Disney and Universal Studios like his friends at the college who either borrowed more money or had parents with bottomless bank accounts. It has taken him some hard knocks and us stopping the helping him out at every turn to give him a sense of self worth and accomplishment. It is not easy being a parent. It is a job. My guys are my friends but not because I took myself to a child’s level but because they have grown into that comfortable place with us as beautiful adults. I never looked at my children as my possessions but them having been placed in our care to help them grow into the kind of adults able to function on their own and be loving, happy people in the world.

Coming to the “cutting the chord” to teach your children now it is up to them to achieve and gain, is not easy, Cheryl. Parenting is the toughest job on the planet when done correctly. We all required hard knocks in order for us to grow up, so the coddling has to stop some time. I have never been a human parent, just a cat parent, so my experience is just from observation. No I don’t understand how tough it is to be in your shoes or how deeply satisfying it is to know you’ve done a great job, your best. You give me hope that the nightmares I see all around me are not all there is out there. I have so little patience with these kids who think because they want it they get it. I have a knack with kids, but lately I’ve been very shaken because I don’t seem to be making the contact I used to. So I step back and seeing the bigger picture I undestand why. Let’s hope that more people start to wise up. I know I “saw” my mother and how she acted and I vowed to myself that I would not be like that. That is the kind of thinking and doing it’s going to take to turn this vicious cycle of me me me, now now now around into a better direction. I really pray I do make a difference with all I do both in my life and on my blog. My goal is to live by example in real time and on my blog get people to think, and I mean THINK. I’ve got to at least try as you do. Darn, I’m gonna have to practice making a mean old fashion. It’s been a while but I’m sure like riding a bike, once on I’ll remember how. LOL 😂

It’s all about the whiskey Amy. You do make a difference through your words, your example, living your truth. It isn’t always evident as we are working what things grow from the seeds we plant. I had a neice live with me for one year at the age of twelve. I wish she had been with me from the time she was a toddler but her uncle, my then husband wouldn’t allow it. She was abused by her stepfather and suffered emotional scars from it. Sadly she went back home after that one year. We are still as close as possible although we connect only rarely. But she has told me that it was that one year that meant something to her and tha she is a good mother because of being with me and the boys during that time. So I never give up hope that what I try to do will someday matter. We can never do with rewards in mind but simply because it is what is right. Hugs Amy. I look forward t someday having that Old Fashioned with you. I’ll be the one beinging you yellow roses. 😊

Aww those ducklings are so cute 🙂 Mama duck looks a bit scary.
You’re very right. Children need ground rules or they do silly crazy dangerous stuff. Like play with matches or lean out a first story windows.

I never wanted to disappoint my parents. I was that good child. I avoided the spankings my brother got that way. I always said when you have more than one you only have to swat one for the others to get into line. Lol

Good for you Dan. Society talks too much these days. No consequences, no firing, no answering for errors. It scares me to think what will happen eventually with no one held accountable. I almost never had to spank my children. As Mary said, they knew at an early age what their boundaries were. Children need boundaries. Having said that, when we went to a movie on Sunday there was a couple with a 9 yr old or so son. She sent him to the flat section before the show began where he frantically ran around all the seats half a dozen times before landing in his seat in front of us. She told the dad she was letting him “burn off” energy. 🙄😳

Yes. At first I thought maybe he was challenged or even autistic but no. After he smarted off to them a few times I realized he was just overindulged. The Mom actually thought that was cute. So what if ten Moms with a dozen kids all had the same philosophy? Don’t get me started. He sat perfectly still for the whole movie. That was just a performance.

Exactly. Poor Lee. Then there was the woman who, although there were four seats between him and the folks at the end of the aisle, came and sat right next to him. It was kind of creepy. Eventually someone joined her but you couldn’t have left a seat between you? He has the worst luck at movies. That’s why I like to go early. Snag our seats up top against the wall. Knocks out half a dozen potential problems for him. Lol

Not a mother, at least not to a human, but I suppose it’s similar in that there comes a time when the little one realises that it pays to do what you say, in a number of ways. For the dog it’s: I GET FOOD. 😀

Conditioning is also universal. I have seen parents trying to reason with a two year old in the middle of Walmart over the most trivial things. I see a child begging for boundaries and a parent who doesn’t want to be the bad guy. It’s a no win situation.

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Observations in the Illusion

Hi,
Cheryl here. I can hardly believe how quickly the years have added up since I first began blogging, with life events that saw me migrate from the US to Paradise and back-twice! I would not give anything for the rich experiences we had in Costa Rica and I miss it every day. We will visit every chance we get; however, life is rarely a straight and wide path and for this portion of it we are back living in the states. I am fortunate to be living in a place rich with wildlife, beauty and wonderful inspiration. If you hang around I promise I will keep sharing with you and hope you find something to enjoy in what my camera and I manage to capture. My deepest desire is to find and show the common vein that connects us all. We live as one, breathe as one, were created as one. If we could just combine all our brilliant thoughts into one fine idea, what a wonderful world we would have. Love and Light. My tropicalaffair site is full and so I have moved. You can still read about our adventures here or hop over to my new place at https://dreamingreality646941880.wordpress.com/2018/01/12/first-blog-post/ I hope to see you there!

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