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Quick Definition: A list of imagined “legal” rights of being a pick up artist or a guy who is learning to be good with girls and what he should feel proud to do, written by Neil Strauss via mass email.

Full Definition:

In 2013, in response to a ridiculous post by the Toronto Eaton Centre in Canada, Neil Strauss wrote a mass email to his list about the ability to practice social interactions without being harassed. He also in light made fun of the seriousness of the Eaton centre staff:

THE GAME BILL OF RIGHTS

We hold these truths to be self-evident that:

1. Most single people would like to meet potential romantic and/or sexual partners.

2. While some men and women are comfortable interacting with people they’re attracted to, many are not.

3. Some people are naturally charming, interesting, and attractive; others are naturally awkward, nervous, and uncertain.

4. Those who are not naturally comfortable around people who interest them have a right to learn to improve their social, conversational, emotional, and attraction skills and intelligence.

5. Similarly, those who are approached have a right to their own space, to decline an unwelcome conversation, or to choose not to meet someone new.

6. People’s biggest fear is social humiliation. Whether you are approaching or approached, treat others as you would like to be treated yourself.

a. As the one who is approaching, do not make others uncomfortable, harass them, invade their personal space, or be dishonest with them.

b. Similarly, if you’re approached and do not want to talk to the person, remember that he or she is probably just as sensitive as you are and be polite. If you feel compelled to be rude, consider instead providing constructive feedback about their approach.

7. It is not intrinsically bad to seek casual sex, nor is it intrinsically good to seek a relationship. Neither is morally better than the other. What is important is that both people’s expectations are the same.

8. Consent is crucial and non-negotiable.

9. If you want to learn how to attract the opposite sex, you must start doing things that are attractive to them. These include being more interesting, confident, humorous, self-aware, empathic, authentic, positive, well-rounded, and spiritual. Ultimately, to form relationships with others more successfully, you actually have to become a better person.

10. Although the most common fears of meeting and dating involve rejection, not only does nothing good come from these fears but it gives others false power over you. Rather than seeking validation and esteem from others, get your esteem from within.

11. Do not let yourself be shamed out of trying to improve yourself. However, be empathic to those who are critical of the community. Some women feel less safe in this culture due to some of the men in it. So anything that appears to empower men even more is going to be unwelcome and quite possibly terrifying.

12. Date responsibly. Every approach, every sexual encounter, every romance you are in, do your best to ensure that the person not only doesn’t regret the experience but is better off for having had it.

13. Safe sex is mandatory. However, there is no such thing as safe love. It is a risk of the heart. But it is well worth the reward.

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When I wrote The Game, I planned to neither defend nor attack the community, because it can be both helpful and hurtful. But as I read what’s going on, I feel compelled to speak up because in the end it changed my life in such a positive way. Since I was a kid, I wanted to get married and have children. I also of course wanted to have fun along the way. I often think that if I hadn’t learned this, I’d end up old and alone. Or, even worse, with someone who I don’t love or who doesn’t love me.

There are many men and women in this world who feel alone. There are many who are frustrated with and often angry at the opposite sex. There are many who go through months or years or even a lifetime without ever having the connection they yearn for, while they watch others who seem to be having all the fun or all the luck.

They need support, not shame. They already spend enough time shaming themselves as it is. And they need good advice that helps them, because one bad experience with a phony pickup artist or dating coach can lead them to end their journey to passion, happiness, connection, and self-actualization before it’s even started.

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