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Sunday, January 6, 2013

AARGH! The itching! SO MUCH ITCHING!

There's pain. Of course, I have fibrofuckingmyalgia, there's ALWAYS pain. But today, while the pain sucks, this itching is driving me insane. My legs and my shoulders are in a fairly steady race of "Let's see who can itch the most constant and the most intensity" and my feet and hands are having the race of "Let's see who can itch the most randomly and shocking way so it interferes with what she's doing now".

It makes me want to hug a cactus. And I can do it too, the Disabled Guy has a lot of cactus plants. I could go over there right now and hug a few of them. But I won't, because that would mean getting up and walking over there. Just now, as I was typing, the palm of my left hand and the big toe on my right foot jolted an electrical itch through themselves. (and my ankle still hurts and now my wrist- on the opposite side- hurts too, so if I had to walk with a cane, I'd be completely screwed).

So, we've deduced that I'm a superhero for my amazingly fast healing powers and that "what doesn't kill us makes us stronger" bullshit. I'm convinced that this itching with the electrical-jolt thing is me trying to turn into a robot. Because robots need electricity. I know this for a fact because these three robots and a human or two sing about "Electricity is in My Soul" and who would know better about robots than an actual robot, right?

So, I'm a superhero robot with rapid healing ability and electricity in my soul trying to escape through my skin. I'm a walking stun gun! YES! No, wait, that's terrible. Who would want to be that? What an awful Superhero Robot.