Apparently, Bob is Dead

I’d like to firstly point out that all names have been changed in an effort to protect those who may not wish their details to be made public. This includes the name of someone who doesn’t deserve anonymity, but who has been granted it regardless.

All will become clear as you read on.

Bob is a good friend of mine and I’ve known him for many years. A few years ago, he had a fairly major heart attack which scared him and the people who know him. After he’d recovered from this heart attack, the fear of having further heart attacks remained, which is quite understandable.

In September last year, after a short period where I’d not been in contact with Bob, I was directed to a memorial fund set up on his behalf. Bob had died on July 21st 2014 from a major heart attack.

The memorial fund was set up by Samantha, who had been Bob’s on/off girlfriend for around 4 or 5 years. Bob and Samantha had never been a couple in the conventional sense but had what you could call a ‘mutually beneficial’ relationship.

Bob was 42 and Samantha was in her early twenties. Bob had a well-paid, full-time job whilst Samantha couldn’t work a proper job as she believed any potential employer would fear she would self-harm or even commit suicide. She apparently did the odd job here and there, one of which was as a sex line operator, but it was always difficult to believe what she told you as sometimes, things didn’t quite add up. I didn’t dislike Samantha, but her attitude towards certain things used to wind me up.

I remember on one occasion, Samantha had been drinking wine all evening when she took a phone call from her young daughter (whom she only sees occasionally). Her daughter told her she’d been rushed to hospital and was currently there with a broken arm. After the call ended, Bob and I offered to take her straight to the hospital, but she refused our offers and said that she’d simply ring her back later. This struck me as slightly odd.

When Bob died last year, Samantha wanted to raise money to buy a tree or a bench in memory of Bob, so that she could visit and remember the happier times they had shared together.

By September 2014, £80.00 of a £750.00 target had been reached. Most of these donations were from Samantha’s own family, who were utterly distraught and were rallying around for her.

The last donation made to this memorial fund was for £5.00 and was made by Bob, with the comment of “What the fuck is this ? I am not dead” added to it.

That’s right, Bob.

Bob wasn’t dead. He’d never even been ill or suffered another heart attack. In fact, Samantha had been in constant contact with Bob since she set up the memorial fund and knew full well that Bob was alive and well.

Samantha has a long history of mental health issues and had apparently experienced an ‘episode’, whereby reality and fantasy became combined and she convinced herself that Bob had died. In her mind, the funeral and it’s location had all been planned. On one of the updates to the memorial fund, she’d posted:

I was with Bob when Samantha’s mother rang him, pleading for some help. Bob was angry at the time and reluctant to have any further involvement with Samantha or her family, but her mother persuaded him. Samantha still couldn’t believe or accept that Bob was alive. Her mother put the call on speakerphone and Bob confirmed, in his own words that he wasn’t dead. This seemed to do the trick and Samantha finally accepted that Bob was still alive.

Since the whole “Bob is dead” incident, Samantha’s friends and family have been ever so supportive; even those who donated money to the fake memorial fund. It’s sad that some people have to experience and go through this type of delusional, uncontrollable behaviour.

However, Samantha grossly exaggerates and even makes up her mental health issues. There’s nothing wrong with Samantha, except that she’s a calculating little waste of space.

When I came across Bob’s memorial fund, I contacted Samantha to ask her what was going on. I still have the messages on my phone and this is how the exchange went:

Me:Bob died of a massive heart attack? Seriously?? Samantha, that’s a pretty sick way to get a few quid and you’ve betrayed your friends/family too. Not cool.

Her: Lol I suppose you would jump to the wrong conclusions 🙂

Me:What other conclusions could there possibly be? It looks as though you’re trying to raise money and trick people.

Her:Approximately 16 other conclusions, though only two of them are correct.

Me:But surely it’s not fair on those who have donated?

Her:That would probably be true in about 5 conclusions- but not this time. In the future, perhaps simply asking first is probably best. Thanks!

Me:So how did this page come about, considering Bob clearly isn’t dead. You’ve updated the page about his funeral arrangements and written about his death on your blog.

Her:Yes, I have. It’s too late to just ask now, you will have to bide your time and wait for the finale. I’ll give you the heads up before it happens. Fortunately, you arrived pretty late to the game so you won’t have to wait long.

Me:Come on, people are going to jump to the wrong conclusions about it. Do the people who donated know that he’s not dead?

Her:People that don’t know might, that’s true, but most people know me well enough to at least ask me first. Let’s face it, it seems at the very least out of character. Then again, this is what I would call a fully informed and consentual situation. Fear not! I will tell you when to come back and look- it will explain itself pretty quickly!

Me:What’s the plan? I’m quite confused.

Her:It’s okay- I’ll tell you when to check back in. I could explain now but you didn’t want to give me the chance. So now you’ll have to wait until I next message you. Night! 🙂

Me:It’s not about giving chances. You’ve put a whole detailed story about Bob’s death but he’s most definitely alive. Bob was quite shocked about it!

Her:I imagine he was. That is entirely irrelevant though. And you are right, it’s not about giving chances- but a chance, singular, would have been better. But I understand that isn’t your style. Speak soon.

Me:But surely as his friend you should expect me to be confused and perturbed by this…

Her: Nope. Actually I would (and did) expect you to ask.

Me:How could I ask if you never told me about this charade?

Her:You aren’t in my circle, you didn’t need to know and making all the facts public to everyone would defeat the exercise. But when you did find out you should have asked. This won’t make sense to you for a couple of weeks, but fear not, it will soon enough. That’s all I’m willing to share just yet.

Me:Fair enough. You deleted the page?

Her:I deleted Bob’s page, yep. It can’t work if he commented on it. At least you both didn’t get to ruin the entire project!

Me:Is it a social project?

Her:What like an experiment on random people? No.

Me:You must see how this looks from an outside perspective. What on earth is the meaning of this? How will your family react when they find out that this is all made up?

Her:If I told you now, it would put the entire project in jeopardy – and I still want to get paid at the end of it. There are 132 pages in total, I run 8 of them. It’s for a good cause, and that’s all you need to know right now. I would appreciate you guys not ruining the other pages though. This one I can come back from but I can’t afford to lose another page

Me: You’ve never struck me as someone who plays games and you’re certainly not stupid. You and Bob have both done loads for each other and it seems like a bit of a creepy kick in the balls to him. Faking someone’s death isn’t pleasant especially where dragging other people into it is concerned. At the very least you owe Bob an explanation and apology. This cryptic stuff doesn’t make any sense and there’s no way you can warrant it. Is it worth hurting people? Gaining financially for such an awful pretence is wrong on so many levels. Any project aside, you’ve still deceived your friends and family. Is money really more important than alienating yourself?

Her:Youre right- but neither of you gave me the chance to talk. Should Bob want to discuss it I will, but unless he does I’m off to salvage what I can. You both know me well enough to know that I am not the sort of person who would fake a death for money. Just because neither of you did the easy thing and ask doesn’t mean I have to destroy 8 months worth of work.

Me:That’s nonsense- surely you should have told Bob about this ‘project’ before he found out the hard way? It’s unfair to make out that I or Bob are in the wrong for asking reasonable questions about what was found out.

Her:I couldn’t tell Bob about the project, not wouldn’t. And you guys didn’t ask at all.

Despite having this whole conversation with me and despite desperately trying to warrant her actions with this vague claim of an experiment in aid of a worthy cause, Samantha still insisted on pretending to her family that she genuinely thought Bob was dead. It’s strange how Samantha didn’t mention anything about this “project” to her family. It’s also strange that Samantha didn’t fill me in later on as promised, but I didn’t expect her to.

Samantha also wrote an article regarding the loss of Bob on her blog, which was detailed and moving. Obviously the memorial fund and blog entry were removed from the internet once Samantha’s scam had been uncovered. I didn’t think to mirror the blog entry but I did manage to mirror the memorial fund, which you can find here. Don’t forget that every name has been changed.

I don’t know who I feel most sorry for; Samantha or Samantha’s family.

Member’s of Samantha’s family donated to the memorial fund and believed that Bob had really died, but they won’t be angry with Samantha as it was supposedly down to mental illness. One day, Samantha will come unstuck and her family will realise that she’s just an immature, conniving cunt. Until that time, Samantha can blissfully and shamelessly blame everything on mental illness which morally, no one will ever question. She will continue to be one of society’s leeches, who will never contribute anything to our country and will continue to lie and deceive so she never has to work.

I wasn’t going to change Samantha’s name in this post or on the mirrored memorial fund page because she doesn’t deserve the anonymity, but seeing as her family appear to be completely in the dark over all this bullshit, I’ve done it to save them any potential embarrassment.

Faking someone’s death and conning your friends and family is vile, disgusting and on a par with pretending you have cancer. I genuinely hope that bad things happen to Samantha or anyone else who attempts to sink so low.

Have you ever tried to make a few quid from ripping off your own family?

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About Ninja Hedgehog

I’m Ninja Hedgehog, the creator of the Ninja Hedgehog website. I've written various things over the years but started Ninja Hedgehog in October 2011. I write about all kind of subjects but will never write about sport. Ever.