Why oh why oh why does everything start working again after I've broken it and it doesn't matter anymore? As Tom would say, oh the irony. Not true really, it does matter to me that we stay friends, a lot more than everything else at the moment (which probably isn't the correct focus to have in exam term, but Cambridge taught me that people were more important than mathematics - or at least that I had a vague if small chance of understanding people, whereas maths? Nah...) So grateful he invited me round to dinner last night, and made such an effort to be nice to me... no, I think that's wrong, I think it was that we weren't having to make such an effort all the time, all the pressure to make it work and not snipe at each other wasn't there, so we made bitter comments that somehow ended up in laughter, as it all wasn't important anymore.

So strange to start with though... I mean, whatever of the more or less flattering labels you file me under, from "incorrigible flirt" to "a very tactile person" I normally greet most of my friends with a hug. A pause instead, followed by some complicated dance round the kitchen trying not to touch or quite look at each other as noodles were cooked, was not a good substitute. But it seemed to sort itself out through the evening. Or maybe that was me, pushing things. I'm sorry if it was...

Anyway, it was strange, and wonderful, but a little bittersweet. And I miss him more now. Still pretty certain I did the right thing, the great doom between us has gone (to be replaced with a whole new shiney and much more subtle type of probably fixable mild doom) Eventually he went off to an assassins party and I went off to bed. Other news? Still failing to do maths, so resorted to tidying my room instead, so I did finally find my ring I'd been stressing over. That was a relief. Tom was right as always.