A: insists on wearing her seat belt during sex
B: goes to rodeos with the intent of having sex with a rodeo cowboy
C: goes to all you can eat restaurants and undoes her belt
D: dominitrix’s who whip bad lil rabbits into submission
E: a girl who rides mechanical bulls in her underwear

A: going to rodeos with the intent
of sex with a rodeo cowboy
B: having sex while standing
in a store’s walk-in meat freezer
C: drinking while intoxicated
D: having sex while drinking
while intoxicated

.

.

The same chemical responsible for the
ecstatic highs of love and
sexual attraction, phenylethylamine:

A: will make you go blind
B: is also found in chocolate
C: is used as a steroid by speed eaters
D: is too hard to pronounce to be a real substance

.

.

Oneirogmophobia is the fear:

A: of commitment
B: of wet dreams
C: of Rosie O’Donnell
D: of having a wet dream
about Rosie O’Donnell

.

.

Orgasms act as a:
A: reason to get out of bed in the morning
B: natural tranquilizer
C: reason to go out with the
amazing three tongued man
D: all of the above

.

.

Freud believed that “mature” women
have orgasms only when:

A: she was having sex with a bearded German guy
B: her vagina, but not her clitoris, is stimulated
C: she felt like it
D: when she appeared in MILF Magazine

.

.

It is apparent that sexual desire
and performance depend on
some threshold level of:

A: how hot his partner is
B: testosterone
C: how many Viagra’s he’s taken
D: how long it’s been since the last time

.

.

The G-Spot is said to be a:

A: the spot that makes you have to “GO”
B: sensitive area just behind the front wall of the vagina
C: the spot that makes you want to say “GEEEE”
D: a night club in downtown Paducah

.

.

The term “Blue Balls” refers to:

A: the rental balls at the bowling alley
B: pelvic congestion, when more blood and lymph flows into
the genitals (during sexual arousal) than flows out
C: tongue piercings
D: a night club in downtown Alberquerque

.

.

Which is not a real town name in Pennsylvania?

A: Blue Ball
B: Sphincter
C: Bird in Hand
D: Intercourse

.

.

Therapists say that the size of your penis:

A: ain’t NEAR big enough
B: has no relation to sexual
pleasure or performance
C: ain’t NEVER big enough
D: determines how much of a weeny you are (literally!)

.

.

Which one of these is a genuine rule for SAFE sex:

A: wash the goat first
B: never reuse a condom
C: use only non-fat whipped cream
D: replace the batteries after every use
E: wash the whipped cream off the goat