Blogowitz #3

Yiddish banned in the U.S. Congress?!

According to the New York Daily News, Representative Anthony Weiner has been reprimanded for using Yiddish in Congress. The infraction arose when Wiener was discussing the current health care reform proposals and said "We're not going to take hundreds of billions of dollars a year and give it to insurance companies who give us bupkis." Chairman Henry Waxman pounded his gavel and responded "The gentleman will speak English." Waxman was obviously referring to Weiner's use of the word "billion" which comes from old French and was coined by Jehan Adam in 1475 as by-million. Or perhaps it was Weiner's use of the word "company" which comes from the Old French compagnie. Or maybe, just maybe, he was referring to Weiner's use of the word "bupkis" which comes from the Yiddish word which technically means "goat droppings." It's certainly possible and makes sense in the context of the sentence. After all, why would the U.S. Government pay hundreds of billions of dollars per year to insurance companies in exchange for goat droppings? Doesn't seem like a fair trade to us.

Why would the U.S. pay hundreds of billions per year to insurance companies in exchange for goat droppings?

If you build the Pyramid, they will come

The New York Post is reporting that fees charged by the law firm Baker and Hostetler to oversee the bankruptcy and liquidation of Bernie Madoff's phony investment firm could total $250 million. Victims groups are understandably outraged by the sum which they feel should go to those who were swindled out of their life savings, not a Manhattan law firm that is effectively charging a million dollars per week. Baker and Hostetler spokesman Irving Picard says the victims have nothing to worry about as the firm has come up with an investment vehicle to raise the requisite funds to pay their fees. Investors join on with a $10,000 minimum payment and are guaranteed a 10% return. This return is funded by new investors and their initiation fees. Says Picard, "This investment method – a ‘pyramid' as I like to call it – will leave its mark on the financial industry for years to come."

Cash for Kugel?!

Columnist John Crudele points out that since the Obama administration has found success for their "Cash for Clunkers" program why not bail everyone out? How about a Cash for Comics program to help comedians get their own sit-coms. How about a Cash for Losers program to help revive Las Vegas. Or closer to home how about a Cash for Kugel program to force synagogues to make some new kugel for those Shabbat luncheons as opposed to recycling the same three pieces of kugel that go uneaten each week. Now that's change we can believe in.

The Authentically Israeli Experience

25 Republican congressmen took part in the largest ever Republican mission to the State of Israel. The lawmakers of course met with Israeli politicians such Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and President Shimon Peres, but also wanted to engage in authentically Israeli experiences. As a result, their Israeli hosts had them eat falafel at an establishment with questionable hygiene standards, illegally exchange currency at the "Kent" cigarette stand in Jerusalem, and go to the bank to cash travelers checks for the approximately 15 minutes the bank is open each day. 10 of the Congressmen were able to cash their checks before the bank closed. For the duration of the trip, the other 15 were forced to ask strangers on the bus for spare change if they wanted to buy a popsicle.

These Muslims are Angry

A terror plot to bomb an army base in Australia has just been uncovered. The terrorists are connected with the extremist Somali Muslim group al-Shabaab which has close links to al-Qaida. Can we speak the truth and say that this is the official turning point for Muslim terrorism – that they've gone from being ideologically motivated to being just plain angry? Seriously, what could they possibly have against the Australians? Are they are too friendly? Too tanned? Are their accents too darn cute? Maybe all these al-Shabaab terrorists need is a little anger management therapy. Think about it – instead of trying to defeat terrorist in the "War on Terror," we could offer al-Qaida members shiatsu massages and acupuncture accompanied by some aromatherapy. The Israelis could even provide some Dead Sea mud masks for Bin Laden and his friends. Maybe all we need is a little cross cultural coddling. Then again...maybe not.

About the Author

The opinions expressed in the comment section are the personal views of the commenters. Comments are moderated, so please keep it civil.

Visitor Comments: 6

(6)
Joey,
September 10, 2009 10:42 PM

Heh-heh

That last one had me snickering. Thanks and God bless!

(5)
Feivel,
August 21, 2009 3:05 AM

Bupkis - goat droppings?????

What a disappointment; I thought that it was coined by Marnie Winston

(4)
Irving Bloch,
August 14, 2009 6:12 PM

I agree with Errols comment but take out the word humorous.

There are too many clowns in Congress. They are making a joke out of our governmental system. Al Franken the newest senator is by profession a comedian. What is wrong with the people that elect these jokers?

(3)
dave,
August 11, 2009 7:35 PM

hillarious

somebody play the Looney Tunes theme....

(2)
ERROL,
August 11, 2009 6:59 PM

Precisely

There should be no Yiddish in cogress.It is a language of love, caring,understanding and humour,and you will find none of that in that woeful forum

I've been striving to get more into spirituality. But it seems that every time I make some progress, I find myself slipping right back to where I started. I'm getting discouraged and feel like a failure. Can you help?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Spiritual slumps are a natural part of spiritual growth. There is a cycle that people go through when at times they feel closer to God and at times more distant. In the words of the Kabbalists, it is "two steps forward and one step back." So although you feel you are slipping, know that this is a natural process. The main thing is to look at your overall progress (over months or years) and be able to see how far you've come!

This is actually God's ingenious way of motivating us further. The sages compare this to teaching a baby how to walk. When the parent is holding on, the baby shrieks with delight and is under the illusion that he knows how to walk. Yet suddenly, when the parent lets go, the child panics, wobbles and may even fall.

At such times when we feel spiritually "down," that is often because God is letting go, giving us the great gift of independence. In some ways, these are the times when we can actually grow the most. For if we can move ourselves just a little bit forward, we truly acquire a level of sanctity that is ours forever.

Here is a practical tool to help pull you out of the doldrums. The Sefer HaChinuch speaks about a great principle in spiritual growth: "The external awakens the internal." This means that although we may not experience immediate feelings of closeness to God, eventually, by continuing to conduct ourselves in such a manner, this physical behavior will have an impact on our spiritual selves and will help us succeed. (A similar idea is discussed by psychologists who say: "Smile and you will feel happy.")

That is the power of Torah commandments. Even if we may not feel like giving charity or praying at this particular moment, by having a "mitzvah" obligation to do so, we are in a framework to become inspired. At that point we can infuse that act of charity or prayer with all the meaning and lift it can provide. But if we'd wait until being inspired, we might be waiting a very long time.

May the Almighty bless you with the clarity to see your progress, and may you do so with joy.

In 1940, a boatload 1,600 Jewish immigrants fleeing Hitler's ovens was denied entry into the port of Haifa; the British deported them to the island of Mauritius. At the time, the British had acceded to Arab demands and restricted Jewish immigration into Palestine. The urgent plight of European Jewry generated an "illegal" immigration movement, but the British were vigilant in denying entry. Some ships, such as the Struma, sunk and their hundreds of passengers killed.

If you seize too much, you are left with nothing. If you take less, you may retain it (Rosh Hashanah 4b).

Sometimes our appetites are insatiable; more accurately, we act as though they were insatiable. The Midrash states that a person may never be satisfied. "If he has one hundred, he wants two hundred. If he gets two hundred, he wants four hundred" (Koheles Rabbah 1:34). How often have we seen people whose insatiable desire for material wealth resulted in their losing everything, much like the gambler whose constant urge to win results in total loss.

People's bodies are finite, and their actual needs are limited. The endless pursuit for more wealth than they can use is nothing more than an elusive belief that they can live forever (Psalms 49:10).

The one part of us which is indeed infinite is our neshamah (soul), which, being of Divine origin, can crave and achieve infinity and eternity, and such craving is characteristic of spiritual growth.

How strange that we tend to give the body much more than it can possibly handle, and the neshamah so much less than it needs!