Monday, June 18, 2012

Crappy summer to you all! While we're sure you are anxiously anticipating barbecuing burgers, our mouths water thinking about grilling some terrible films. And what better meal to serve up than 1989's "Ghosts Can't Do It".

How can you not have magic when you combine Oscar-winner Anthony Quinn, and 80s icon Bo Derek in a comedy about ghosts? Quite easily, actually. When Bo's elderly husband kicks the bucket, he decides he's not done boning her, and appears to her a ghost. They concoct a plan to find a young host body for his ghost to inhabit, allowing him to continue living with her. So much for "'Til death do us part." Bo treks from a snowy Wyoming ranch to a tropical paradise to Hong Kong in her pursuits of maintaining her dead husband's business, and cultivating a corpse for him.

It's stunning this movie was marketed as a romantic comedy. It would imply it would contain romance, unless your idea of romance is an evil ghost barking orders at a horrified woman in a bikini. As for comedy, everything funny in "Ghosts Can't Do It" is unintentional. Bo's "sexy" dance at a seaside bar is laughable, as are the reactions from the priest looking on (what is a priest doing in a tropical bar anyway?). And every conversation Bo has with Ghost Anthony Quinn (she's the only one who can see/hear him, natch) is off-the-chart wonderful, especially when she's screaming at the sky during his funeral. Director John Derek brought his requisite misogyny in metric tons, and even bamboozled Julie Newmar to perform in the film (along with a surprise cameo from a former businessman/current reality TV star).

We're launching a full-frontal (pun intended) assault on the weekday -- Monday will never know what hit it. Our command center will once again be the glorious NerdMelt Theater. Get your tickets in advance at this link, and you get 'em cheaper than at the door.

Of course, HMN wouldn't be HMN without your riffs! The funniest one-liner of the night will win a prize, so bring out your best laser-focused jokes to bathe in the glory reserved only for victors. We'll also have the improv loveliness of The Omelettes, who will create scenes based on the movie, and your suggestions. BYOB and everything will be extra funny. Do it!

Keep up with our antics on Facebook, Twitter, and our email list. We'll also soon be launching our pre-movie caption contest, so those of you who can't attend our L.A. show can get in on the action. Stay frosty, kids, and we'll see you at the show!