Taking steps to suspend my studies during the remainder of the pandemic. This hurts me deeply, but my ability to research and write is dependent on a strong in-person support network and sadly everything I've done to try and stay on track hasn't been enough.

What's happening on the fedi in regards to BLM, anti-blackness & harassment, is leading Blk folks to leave and shift gears in response to how ppl are behaving.

This is not about white folks & how embarrassed or sad they are that ppl are leaving. It feels like its making mammies out of Blk thinkers on here. Dont. Theyre not here to provide you labor in any capacity.

This also isn't abt NBPOC-white passing folks. This exodus is not abt you. Most likely you've benefitted from it all anyways

PV deals with soooooo much shit, probably the half of which you all don't even know. The fediverse has good people but it also has a MAJOR whiteness problem that makes it incredibly uncomfortable for BIPOC here, & it's not always as outright as someone shouting slurs. There's overt white supremacy but there's also a lot of shit that is deemed socially acceptable that is covert white supremacy. Honestly ya'll are lucky af to be in the presence of BIPOC here

fellow white people: it's time to donate, not to just talk about how sad and angry you are. no one needs to hear it. put your money where your mouth is. you know your finances. if you know you have spare cash, time to put it to work. give to bail funds or just directly to black people requesting mutual aid.

(if you don't have spare cash... understood, don't feel bad about it. there are other ways to help. this post isn't aimed at you)

I'm exceptionally proud of the work I've done on PV and the new connections I've made (you know who you are) because there isn't another admin on the fedi that could keep this shit going like I have in the face of such consistent hate and abuse.

But the fedi as a whole is garbage. Not because it has to be but rather because it chooses to be.

The fedi enables hate just like any other social media network for the sake of numbers.

People talk all this bullshit about SUPPORTING BLACK artists but I still mostly fund PV out of my own pocket. @ArtistMarciaX has given y'all a master's level education FOR FREE on here and she still struggles to get basic shit.

Meanwhile projects led by racists pieces of shit like Pleroma, Pixelfed and even Masto itself have no financial issue.

I've been on this bitch for almost three years and this context has barely moved an inch despite the work of some supremely talented people.

The idea that you must be the best or nearly the best for anything you do to have value, or for your work to have value it must itself be "the best work" in a field, is a mindset that breaks people and deserves to fall apart.

The worst thing about having an academic background besides sounding pompous as hell whenever I go into detail about stuff is I try and listen to someone else who's written about stuff I've studied and my brain just goes "Wrong! Naive! Not critical enough! You've missed the point with Foucault's work by paying too much attention to the man Foucault and what he "really meant" instead of the work and what they're trying to build towards with geneaologies as critical projects!"

I'm begging you to stop treating leftism like a fandom and actually fucking contribute to a local group. I'm begging you to actually give a shit instead of posting "i am very smart" over and over again every day.