Getting back to normal…

Cris is finally done with training!!!!!!!!! This is an absolute relief. We are still majorly struggling with money but now there is a light ahead. Once his pay raise starts to come in we will be on our way to financial stability.

I tried working part time to help out but had forgotten how little minimum wage actually helps with real bills. I can’t believe I used to survive off of that.. I only worked for one month before Cris’s job took priority over our transportation situation. Once he returned to town, and needed my car, I had no choice but to quit. Worst part is that my cousin helped get me the job and now is their busy season. I really hurt some people by quitting suddenly like I did. My cousin who helped me, now has to deal with the consequences of my quitting. I put her and my coworkers in a shitty situation and am too coward to apologize since I know it wont help but to add excuses. I hate myself for having had no see-able alternative. Although I hate the situation I put them in, unfortunately it couldn’t be helped. With my little-to-non pay, My needing the car couldn’t be the reason he didn’t go to jobs where he makes daily bonuses. His one-day of pay is equivalent to a whole week of mine. Then there was the added stress of his working so long and so many hours that he has no time to do his laundry, or make himself lunches, and we cannot afford for him to go get fast-food each meal – it only compounds the financial situation. My feeble attempt to go to work would actually be costing us money & stress instead of helping.

So, now we are getting back into the routine of my staying at home while he works. It will be nice when his raise kicks in and the added stress is lifted. I am almost -almost- glad I had that miscarriage in 2011. I can’t imagine having a kid to take care of on top of all of this right now.

(Sidenote)Speaking of kids, since we are still having zero luck I am thinking it is time to have a doctor give us the details. Do I have too few eggs? bad tubes? do I need an oil change? what the heck would be causing my lack of fertility? Everyone in my family seems to have no problem getting pregnant so it can’t be genetic.. Hopefully the doctor doesn’t come back with something weird like surgery is needed, or whatever. That would supersuck. I will be 32yrs old in only a couple months. They say that when you hit 35, your pregnancy becomes high risk. That is crazy to me considering I have only just-now decided I am “ready” for kids….

Anyway,…. we are really glad to be back on top of the situation and hope that our bills will be caught up on very soon. Maybe in another couple months we will have enough for me to get a friggin tattoo!! I have sooo many things just waiting to be doodled on my poor forgotten blank left arm. Also my chest.

I am so proud of my husband for hanging in there for so many months and passing with such high scores. Without his persistence, we could be struggling for a much longer time. But he said he would do it, and he was true to his word. He is becoming the man he wants to be. He wanted to be the man who brought home the bacon and wanted me to be the wife who stayed home and cooked it. lol. I can’t believe he talked me into quitting my job the first time, a year ago, to try the housewife thing. More-so, I can’t believe I actually like it so much. It is a very nice thing to be able to work on your relationship and your home as your main priority. My job is no longer an issue. We don’t have to butt heads because neither has the energy to clean or cook or do chores, and we don’t have to blame each other for making the mess in the first place. All those normal arguments that come with the territory of two working spouses just vanished into thin air when I took care of the house, and he took care of the money. It is a shame our society has changed so thoroughly that his is not an easy accomplishment any longer. I may have uncovered the main reason why divorce is up…its because housewives are down.