They played for the sake of play alone, and their only concern was the ultimate evolution of their game.

Sunday, February 27, 2005

Waiting for What, Exactly?

It is important to always remember that those you love may very well belong to others as much as to you. And if you cannot get used to their other obligations, you're sunk.

Hey, man, it's nothing but a good thing if your loved one is a useful and needed soul, even if that means others often take up their time seeking help, advice or company. I suppose it can be a challenge to maintain a close relationship with a popular and well-loved person, but *really*.

If you have self-esteem issues, this relationship absolutely requires you to get over them.

Here's an idea: Try to direct your unspent energies towards activities you find fulfilling for *yourself*. I'd advise you spend some time working against begrudging the time someone spends with others. In my opinion? Your best bet is to have a life of your own.

Seems like advice too obvious to need stated but why don't you fill the hours you could spend 'waiting' with activities that interest you, make you feel wanted and challenge your intelligence? There are many many many successful relationships wherein each person goes his or her own way most of the time.

And if you are "waiting" for me, quite frankly you may be waiting a long damn time. And to what end gain for me? I come back and there you are standing exactly where I left you with nothing new to show me and no new means to hold my attention this time, either.

Yes, I agree with you. And if for whatever reason you *choose* to 'wait' then of course it should be a conscious act of something, some sort of growth or even just *rest*, I'd be fine with that.

My problem (and annoyance) was with that sort of unconscious, twiddling thumbs, 'don't know what else to do with myself/*can't* do anything else with myself' sort of waiting. I suppose a lesson is learned, *eventually*, even there and even if only subconsciously.

But, yes, I do not deny that waiting offers *tremendous* opportunity for growth but I suppose that is only if it is a chosen thing and not a default state due to lack of direction.

"I am the seasoned traveler
Of the Labyrinth.
The genius of alacrity,
Wizard of the impossible.
My brilliance is yet unmatched
In its originality.
My heart's filled with potent magic
That could cast a hundred spells.
I am put together
For mine own pleasure.

I am the Monkey."

Seems pretty apt.

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"My friend, every sorceress is a pragmatist at heart; nobody sees essence who can't face limitation. If I wanted only to hold you

I could hold you prisoner." -- Circe's Power, Louise Gluck

"My story is not a pleasant one; it is neither sweet nor harmonious, as invented stories are; it has the taste of nonsense and chaos, of madness and dreams -- like the lives of all men who stop deceiving themselves." -- Demian, Hermann Hesse

"The Muses are vindictive deities: they avenge themselves without mercy on those who weary of their charms." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

THE RULES: As a general rule, and most of you already know this, I prefer annonymous comments on this blog. Here is where I like to talk more "idea to idea" than person to person. I've got another journal wherein I get all personally chatty, but here I like the idea of ideas being separate from the contructs/biases/"personalities" behind them. Because those things color us all, don't they? Anyway, it's not a hard and fast rule, so feel free to comment however you like. Caro can never help giving herself away and, of course, Aspyre is always welcome to comment with identity because when Ladarna and Aspyre talk, it has always been idea to idea anyway. :)