Saturday, September 20, 2014

Now we know. Confidence is more than a feeling. It’s a brain
state. Link here.

That is, it’s a “measurable brain activity.” It exists
within the orbitofrontal cortex. If you take a rat and shut off the neurons in
this orbitofrontal cortex, it will exhibit less confidence.

No one is going to dispute the evidence. Yet, how much does
this really tell us about confidence?

What if confidence is more than a feeling? And more than a
brain state? What if confidence lies in the way you behave, the way you act…
not in how you feel?

Is there a difference between feeling confident and being
confident? And is there is difference between being confident and acting
confident.

We will grant that if the everyday rat exhibits behaviors
that signify confidence, it probably feels something resembling confidence.
Moreover it probably is confident.

But, among humans things become more complicated. You might
feel very confident and still act in a way that denotes an absence of
confidence.

Researchers posited that a more confident rat would be
willing to wait longer to receive a reward. If the rat was confident that he
had chosen the right door, behind which was a reward, it would be more patient.

Apparently, it’s easier to delay gratification if you know
that you are more likely to achieve gratification. This suggests that there’s
more to it than repression and that people who are good at self-control are
most often confident that things will work out as they wish.

By extension, people who feel compelled to seek instant
gratification are demonstrating far less confidence.

One imagines that human beings can feel confident without
being confident. And that they can feel confident without acting as though they
are.

Then again, an individual should also be capable of acting
as though he is confident even if he does not feel it. This ought to help
someone who lacks confidence build his confidence, but only when his good-confidence behavior leads to a reward.

Serendipitously—for this post—Forbes offers us a column by
Margie Warrell on… building confidence.

I will not summarize them all, but will try to draw a couple
of lessons.

The way to act as though you have confidence is to act as
someone who demonstrates confidence would behave in the same
circumstance.

It’s based on role modeling. It is helpful, as Warrell
intimates, to surround yourself with people who manifest confidence. If all
your friends pursue instant gratification, you will surely find it more
difficult to defer your gratification.

Choosing your friends on the basis of their good character
is always a good strategy.

Warrell also suggests cultivating confidence in small
habits.

Ask yourself this, if you are watching television and would
like a beer, do you jump up to get the beer because it feels like something
that you must have right now or can you, once you identify the urge, wait for a
period of time before running to the refrigerator?

In this case, under the best circumstances, the beer is not
going anywhere. You know that it will be in its appointed place in fifteen
minutes. Why then do you feel a sense of urgency, a need for instant gratification?

If you are lacking confidence, rather than try to talk yourself into being confident, try adopting behaviors that signify confidence... in small, relatively insignificant situations... but where you know that you will receive a reward.

3 comments:

If you are lacking confidence, rather than try to talk yourself into being confident, try adopting behaviors that signify confidence... in small, relatively insignificant situations... but where you know that you will receive a reward.

That is great advice. "Fake it 'til you make it" actually works! As you act like someone more confident, you gain rewards and become confident. I've used it in many situations.

It really works, as long as you don't mistake skill for confidence; you cannot fake skills. If you have the skills and lack confidence, act like someone with confidence. If you don't have the skills and act confident, you are a sociopath.