Arrrrgh, there’s no more denying it, I’ve turned over a new page. At 35, 36, or even 37, I still didn’t feel like it was settled. Even though I was starting to get ready for it, I still felt pretty comfortable being kind of an eternal adolescent.

Yep, I’ve always been a late bloomer. But now, no more kidding around, turning 39 is serious stuff.
Or not, actually. Because…

What is it like to get older in our time?
Well, the truth is, it’s pretty cool, actually.

There is how we look.

Today, you can stay beautiful all your life. This was true before too, of course. But today we see it in the media: life and beauty don’t stop at 35. Have you seen the latest lookbook for & Other Stories? So cool.

The women I find absolutely stunning are of all ages: Cate Blanchett, Lauren Hutton, Lupita N’yongo. Sophie Marceau on the cover of Vogue Paris this month. I don’t know what they do to be (and stay) so gorgeous and natural (no because let’s be honest : after 30, it’s more work), but I plan to find out and share their secrets with you.

Also, I have to say — wrinkles have never really scared me. It might be because my mother and grandmother don’t have very many, but it’s also because even when I tried, I’ve never been able to find them ugly.

When it comes to style, Emmanuelle Alt and Jenna Lyons are at the top of my list of women who really inspire me. And it has nothing to do with their age: They could be 20 years old and I’d still find them totally amazing.

There is what we build.

Since I was a late bloomer and started working late in life (wondering if I’d ever be able to make up for lost time), I have an anecdote to share with you that just makes me love life.
After a long career being a restaurateur, my mother studied all by herself and became a psychoanalyst at age 53. One day, I’ll tell you her incredibly inspiring story. It’s pretty reassuring for a daughter. You can start over at any point of your life.

I’m happy to be part of my generation.
It wasn’t easy growing up with the threat of AIDS around us, record unemployment rates, and not much left to revolutionize. The 90s were exciting — with a touch of punk no future (the new millennium really scared us, I think) but at the same time, they were incredibly inspiring times, and I threw myself into them completely — so much so that I kind of forgot to work on a career.

And just when I thought there was nothing very exciting left for me career wise, the Internet arrived. It was like a huge wave, a groundswell — the kind of revolution that only comes very rarely in history.

I’m part of the last generation who grew up without the internet. I feel very fortunate to have known what the world was like before. It’s the most unique point of view. One day I’ll tell my great grandchildren that my first boyfriend used to call me from a telephone booth and they’ll look at me like I’m an alien from another planet. And that’s exactly what I’ll be.

Fortunately, the older you get, the more affection you feel for those who are younger than you are. Everyone on my team, for example, is in their twenties, and working with them is one of the greatest experiences in my life right now.

I teach them things, of course, but I also learn things from them every day.

And the adventures of your inner life.

I’m not going to go on and on about how much wisdom you acquire as the years go by.
At 39, there are still tons of things I need to work on.
But I’m less anxious, more tolerant. A lot cooler, really. But still very far from being Master Yoda, and thankfully so.

It’s the same with love. Of course, you learn. But at the same time, let me assure you — you’re just as dumb in love at 39 as you were at 20.

But one of the most interesting of life’s adventures becomes a really pressing issue at 39.

Should you have a baby? Personally, I’m not someone who’s ever felt the biological clock ticking. I’ve thought about it from time to time, without getting too stressed, until last year, it hit me: if I want to have a child, it’s now or never.

And here again, I have to thank all of the women who make it possible to be so open about the subject.

In my entourage, and particularly in New York where people are so incredibly tolerant, I have friends who have made every possible choice. To have children. To not have children. To adopt. To have children late, to have children early. To have a child alone.

Think whatever you like, but all I see around me are very, very happy kids… It gives you, whether you’re with someone or not, a great freedom and a different way to see life’s big questions.

But you know what? In the end nature will decide. And that’s one of the great gifts of aging. The time is now. Live now. Make a decision. Become who you are.

[We’ll see what the future holds for me — it’s much too complicated a subject to go into it here, but a lot of you have asked me about this, so I wanted to at least give some kind of response!]

There are other people’s opinions.

Not one day went by last week that people weren’t trying to reassure me about my age: “You’re so young!” (No.) or “Don’t worry, it’s going to be ok!” (Yeah, I know!) or just the wide eyes of my 23-year-old friends who were thinking something like, “Oh my god, I can’t even imagine, 39 is so long from now” (Nope, actually it comes really fast)(Time just keeps speeding up, actually).

Obviously, it makes me laugh, because I’m cool with it — I worked on it, I prepared myself, I thought about it, I know who I am. But what bothers me is that even with everything I’ve said here so far, there are always so many prejudices about age — especially against women.
People who say a woman is “beautiful for her age” (No. She’s just beautiful). The women who don’t dare tell people their age, or lie about it (lots of guys have this problem, too, don’t think that because it’s easier for them to age, they are less finicky about it)
Or people who call women “cougars” for being with a younger man. Let’s not even start with prejudice at work…

[I have a friend who never tells anyone her age and do you want to know what her problem is? People never stop asking her about it. By trying to protect herself, she turned it into the main topic of conversation about her.]

Thankfully, in 2014, we see women from all generations talking openly about their age. They’re not ashamed. They age with grace and confidence, and have fun with it. That’s the kind of woman I want to be.

It’s a powerful thing to accept yourself in all of your truth. It also takes the drama out of it when you express yourself openly and honestly.

And if you try to cling to a false youth, that just means you’re trapped in the past.
It’s much more liberating to live and enjoy your age, because that’s what opens the door to the future.

Hahaha, yes, love that :-) I’m 34 then ;-) It’s really changing, we get older, we get children later, we take more time for our education, this is a bit generalized, but it speaks for so many. I’m 44 and I wouldn’t wanna be one year younger, honestly. When I think back how I felt with 20…. no thanks! Well my skin for sure was more perfect, but I didn’t feel as comfortable in my skin as now ;-)

big virtual hug for all here in that community and especially for you Garance! Happy Birthday again. xxx

Babies are something wonderful. We can’t own or decide their future. We can only give them life and all our love! But their happiness is not in our hands! That’s what I learned by ageing! Happy birthday (in late) Garance!

Happy Birthday! I’ll turn 37 this year, and I still don’t feel it! I am more self-assured, confident, and oddly, mostly at peace, though there are many things that should leave me restless! I too like that Ive seen a different pace in life, and I continue to appreciate it. I am also greying- a topic I would love you to tackle as well… I know there are soooo many wonderful women who wear this well- my mother did when she first went grey. I love the way I change each year- the trick is in owning it in all its glory and working with it. But as I age I also learn to pay attention to myself- eat well, drink less, and so on and so forth. There are so many perks of aging:) Have a great year ahead!

Happy Belated Birthday Garance. This was one of your most poignant and moving pieces; and it reminded me so much of the reasons you’re admired by so many of us. It’s empowering and refreshing to read a celebration of age and ageing, without it being full of guilt and fear.
Thank you. And have a wonderful year.

the day I hit 50 ? WORST DAY OF MY LIFE
till then you are ok …..and no biological clock for me either and very happy of my choice of not being a mother…I take care of all my friends’s kids , I am the Auntie Paris to them all, I have 4 godsons too .

one word of warning………when you hit 50 you become invisible at parties.

but for the rest all is good….39 is the best best best because you become finally an adult and like in your post : proud of being one.

The year I turned 50 was one of the best and worst in my life. I kicked it off with one of the best birthday parties I’ve ever had, surrounded by two dozen people I loved. I felt the most comfortable in my own skin than ever. In the second half of the year, I required surgery (that my doctors believed was cancer, fortunately it was much more benign) and my mother unexpectedly died in her sleep while visiting me over Easter. So 50 was a year I was happy and relieved to leave behind me! But now just two weeks away from 56, I could not love my life more. 50 frees you from a lot of expectations –your own and other peoples’. I feel bolder, more courageous, and more vibrant and tend to live by the motto, “if not now, when?” Hope you’re now embracing your “second act!”

yes jane…..agree with you all the way….after the initial shock of turning 50 ( which I chose not to celebrate because I was miserable , but will celebrate my 60 birthday for sure ) I am now much happier than i have ever been because as you said : if not now then when ?

also every day I think “this is my life , it cannot get better than this ” because after 50 you start living in the present and not leaving anything to the “maybe future” plans
everything is possible now and you have the experience and wisdom to carry off any ideas and mad projects .

We are the same age, and your post totally hit the nail on the head for me. I love that the friends I have now span a range of ages, and that I can learn from each of them. I love that I can let comments from the judgers slide off my back, and not let them ruin my day the way they used to. I love that as a woman expecting my first baby, I have some life experience that may help me be a decent mother. Thanks for a great start to the day! xo

I am a tiny bit older than you and I have to warn you, even if you dont care about your age, others will remind you about it. Life will remind you about it.
What really bothers me lately is that although I do feel 25, it seems I am not “allowed” to do things “younger people” can. It feels I am running out of time and second-third etc chances…

Happy Birthday (in late) Garance! I am 29 and I see nearly my 30th birthday. The truth is that I feel more comfortable in my 29 years old that when I was 19. So I think that the 39 are the new 29! I love every word of your article, you’re a true inspiration!http://heelsandpeplum.com/

Happy Birthday, Garance! I hope to grow to become even half as inspiring, beautiful and self-assured as you are. Thank you for being a continual source of strength and humor- you are someone I truly look up to :)

happy birthday SuperGarance…you look like a Little girl and you´re going to be this way all your life , Because you are YOUNG INSIDE.it´s clear for me.
wonderfull woman you are. big big kiss from Spain.

Bonne anniversaire Garance and thank you for the post!
39 is the age when you’re old enough to know what you want, but still young enough to get it :)
Your post also made me think of one ‘Sex and the City” episode, where Carrie asks herself if she wants a baby or if she just thinks she should want a baby.

Birthday love and wishes from San Francisco, Garance! You’re now still 13 years younger than me! :) I’ve been following your blog since 2009. Thank you for your lovely writings that is part of my daily morning coffee routine.

I wish I could add you to my group of diversely aged friends! I was recently reminded of one of my favorite Audrey Hepburn quotes on her birthday….. “As you grow older, you will discover you have two hands; one for helping yourself, and the other for helping others.” I like to think my much younger friends like me around for more than my Auntie Mame effect – that they love that I love taking time to know them. And that I enjoy the shared experiences of my friends from both ends of the wide age ranges…. women and men.

Life – I love how you see it and the way you tell it. I look forward to much, much more!! xoxo

Happy birthday to one of the brightest lights I “know” on the internet. May you never lose your childlike enthusiasm for all things even as you continue to gain in wisdom. In fancy shoes or barefoot, your feet are always firmly on the ground and that’s a big part of what keeps me coming back to your blog, Garance. Have a lovely, lovely birthday.

Best wishes from me! I turned 40 a few months ago and the only thing that I’m concrened about is having a good health. That’s what is important at every age and nothing else matters.
And I have discovered that being happy is a key to being healthy. I’m really lousy at being happy…. But I’m still trying to learn it. :)

Great post Garance. You’ve inspired me to do my own post on turning 35 a couple weeks ago (which brings me to another point, we’re fellow Taurians!!!!). When I look at your blog and the things you’re doing, it gives me confidence to push forward in what makes me happy no matter my age. I think there’s an overall view that “blogging” is for young girls in their early twenties, but I think dreams and dreaming never expire or get old with age. I’m taking patternmaking classes now and my teacher said, “It’s never too late to be who you want to be.” How true!

Love this post Garance. I too, just turned 39 – 2 weeks ago, and decided to celebrate myself by spending that bday weekend in Cabo with my “bestest” friend in the world – my sister. Happy birthday and woo hoo to having fun in life!!

Happy Birthday! I am 47 and 39 seems like it was just yesterday. It goes by very fast it seems from here on out. As long as you continue to do new things and challenge yourself, I think you stay young. Remember, growing old isn’t bad when you consider the alternative.

I just turned 38 and, man, it has been hard for me! Mostly because I don’t feel it (I still feel 21). And because I know I look differently than I did 10 years ago and it’s hard for me to accept. I look to you, Garance, as well as many other women of many different ages, for inspiration and to keep me moving forward. That’s why I loved the blog about the 68-year old woman you had last week! Thanks so much for everything you do. Happy Birthday, Garance!

Can’t wait to read your book dear G! I have the feeling that it will be sooooo inspiring – just like this article! Have many happy birthdays from now on – you spoke of grandchildren…so a little one maybe on it’s way to your life sooner than you imagine…
..I wish you all the happiness in the world!
Kisses!
y

Happy birthday and THANK YOU for the best post :) You are so happy, warm and incredible person that inspires me every day of my life. Age is just a number, nothing more :) Have fun and celebrate each day!
Big kiss from Croatia!

Your post has really touched me because aging (I’ll be 48 next September) has never worried me so much as this year. It is not that I look younger than my age (I’d like to believe so, but it’s difficult when shop assistants in their late 20’s insist on calling me “madam”) but I have always thought I was ready to accept myself and my age naturally. Unfortunately it is not so. I look at myself in the mirror and I hardly recognize the young woman of 35 I used to be and that makes me feel sad and stupid at the same time.
But after reading your post there is some ray of light shining on me again. I should stop trying to be a pretty lady of 35. I want to be the best me of 48 I can. In all senses. Is it not there where true beauty lies?
Thanks so much for being so inspiring.

I am a faithful follower of your blog and all of my best friends are in their 40’s. I will turn 67 this year and let me reassure you that so far every decade has just gotten better as do I. I made major career changes at every 10 year interval and am in the process of making another Beauty is truly timeless and I believe comes from doing what makes you happy, you are truly beautiful! Please keep doing what makes you happy BECAUSE IT MAKES US HAPPY TOO!

Happy Birthday! Garance, you are super cool and there’s nothing younger than that! I hope you have a fabulous celebration, because, why not? I threw myself a party for my 40th! I struggle with being 45 now, and I often forget how old I am – in my mind I am still 35 (or younger), but isn’t that what keeps us young? Our minds? I never lie about my age. It’s harder to stay thin and fit now, and there are days when I have to change my clothes because I feel “frumpy” or old, but that’s an easy fix, right? Do you know this word frumpy? It’s the worst! (I doubt you ever have a frumpy day!) Avoid that, keep a young attitude and you’ll be just fine! Bon chance! Bisous!

I feel like talking about age always ends up being very superficial – we talk about wrinkles, we talk about gaining weight, we talk about going gray…Growing old is the process of deteriorating health as well – metabolism is slowing down, we start having less and less energy, menopause around 50 etc. I guess it’s easy to gloss over these issues when talking about turning only 39, but sooner or later wrinkles will be the least of our worries.

i am 26. i am not going to lie…. i have already had moments of little freak-outs about turning 30. whenever people tell me that that is crazy i reply “i think 30 is worse than 40. 30 means your 20s are over and you should kind of be an adult now… 40 is different. i will be 40-and-fabulous!”

i see women all the time that inspire me to get older… the beautiful silver-haired woman on the subway… always sexy uschi obermaier… endlessly bad-ass tilda swinton… and my (50-something) yoga teacher ursula.

it also doesn’t bother me that my friends are stating to get married and have babies and stuff…. because i am all about going-with-the-flow. The most important thing is being happy with yourself and surrounding yourself with lovely inspiring people.

Happy Birthday, Garance!
This is such a great post! Loved the bit about your mother! Yes, please tell us her story!
I’m not sure if I agree to what you said about beauty. True, there are women who are still beautiful when they are older, but most girls just aren’t as pretty in their thirties as they were at 23 or 25. The problem is just that we realize this only later, when we compare ourselves to younger girls.

Happy birthday!! This post was so emotional to me… I kind of felt the tears in my eyes. It brought up some of my deeper thoughts. You put this aging issue so beautifully. I myself am in my late 20s, and I sometimes think about this. By the way you do not look at all as a 39 years old woman, but younger. I wish you all the luck if indeed you want a child :)

What a wonderful post about turning 39. I feel you on so many levels (I also turned 39 this year) not feeling the kind of old I thought I would be feeling… actually, I feel really great, and way, way better than 29.

I also wasn’t sure about babies until a few years ago, having dinner with a friend, I told her, “I don’t know… it doesn’t make me cry when I think about NOT having a baby… maybe I’m not ready, at 37, I have a few years left.”

She told me about her problems having a baby, and how I shouldn’t wait. So I told my husband, “NOW!!!!” Lucky for us, I got pregnant right away, like on the first try. And lucky for the woman who scared me into having a baby that she had her own baby after years of trying. I also have a friend in her 40s who didn’t think she wanted a baby, and then one just came. And for all of us, it’s been amazing. I love my little guy. He’s the best.

Okay….Choose Children…they are a non-stop fascinating and uncontrollable force in your life. If you like the 20 somethings in your studio, wait until you see how you feel about your own kid. Very shocking and very much a life experience…ask your mom…don’t you want someone to call YOU “Mom?”

I too never had the biological clock tick…unlike many of my friends. However I did take the plunge and at 35 had my first baby just 4 weeks ago. My husband and I dated for 10 years before we got married, have since been married for 4 years…traveled tons…drank a lot of great wine all over the world…really had some great times…and you know what…we still intend to do it, just now with our little baby boy (who to be honest, is quite amazing). So has the motherly instinct kicked in yet? I don’t know…all I do know is that I love this little guy so much and can’t wait to teach him so many things, and to take him all around the world with us. Kind of crazy how life takes a big change once there is a little one around…and as people say, it’s a change like no other and you can’t really put it into words. Our “child free” years may be long gone now…but I still plan on sipping champagne in Saint Tropez for my 40th birthday. ;-)

I’ve said this before many times: you inspire me.
I’m 23 and I do hope I will become cooler with time if I work on it. I’m so anxious, I worry about many things concerning the future, I get upset and I find it hard to find my calm. I am convinced that it will get better, that I will find it easier not to worry about what someone thinks and what will happen. I’m sure my thirties and forties will be better, I will have improved mentally. I’m working on it. So in a way I’m not worried about aging at all.

Happy (belated) Birthday, Garance! I love this post!! Just as I love all the posts where you really talk about yourself and your life. I, too, had been wondering whether you wanted children, so thank you for a few of your thoughts on the matter. You would be an incredible mother!!

I feel excited to live at this time too. I turned 39 a few months ago, and I’m actually pretty excited to turn 40. Largely because of all the things you mentioned– you can really look amazing forever now, and 40 feels like an excuse to really get myself into my best shape ever. I love how careers can morph over time as well– I love your mother’s story and look forward to hearing more about it.

There is so much to be excited for now, I think. It is a wonderful time to be alive, and there are so many options for women now (perhaps more than there are for men, in some ways). And hearing more and more people be excited for this time in life makes it all the more true for me. I am so glad to hear that you share this view!

I am 42 and live in belgium. I have a Son and a daughter.
In 2008 my brother had An accident and past away, just like that, he was only 39.
When i had that age it was hard and painfull.
I never complain about my age and i am happy that i have the possibility to get older.
Happy birtthday garance and lots of love from belgium
Bisous

Happy Birthday Garance! 39 is oh-so young!! Love your website and its celebration of femininity in all its glory – it’s my not-so-guilty pleasure once a day. Beauty comes in many guises and personally, I love a real face that speaks of adventure/love/experience. Celebrate!!

I rarely write comments to your posts… BUT this one is special – in a way I like at your blog the most: sincere, graceful, without being too “exposed”… that’s the French attitude – and I do appreciate it.

You are right in every sentence here. I agree. And I do like very, very much the way you wrote about the issue, which is still so frustrating – and sometimes THE MOST frustrating for women. But it shouldn’t be that way. Thus, your blog, your opinion as a person, who inspires others counts a lot!

It both feels strange and great to read such personal things about you. My 39th birthday seems very far away, yet it is thanks to insights like this post that I am happy to grow older and welcome years with serenity. Thanks for this. And happy birthday!

Happy birthday. I truly enjoyed your writing & today was an wonderful honor to read your thoughts on turning 39. A fellow Taurus, I celebrated my 45th, two weeks ago as a new health volunteer in the Peace Corps in Ghana. Life seems to become more rich with meaningful opportunities & experiences. It’s quite surreal however so amazing. Continue to shine brilliantly. Many blessings to you

I turned 39 in January and I too was thinking exactly what you wrote! I went to my 20th high school reunion last year and my life was so different than most of my former classmates. It’s so nice to know someone else (like you :D) has the same thoughts and view.

Thank you very much, Garance! And happy birthday – all the best for you!
And thank you from the heart for this blog – it´s a daily inspiration for me.
You thoughts about becoming elder are wonderful for me – yes, we are free to find our own way, with or without children, with or without career, maybe with or without fashion… only to be.
This are my wishes to you: old words from Julia from Norwich, an english mystic woman:

all shall be well
and all shall be well
and all matter of thing
shall be well

Guess what? I just turned 60 and I think it’s fabulous. Sure I look older than I did at 40 or 50 but I love the assuredness that comes with cumulative life experiences. I really feel that this is my time. Embrace it, Garance!

Happy birthday wishes from France dear Garance!
Have a kid when you are bored, I had mine at 42-43 moving from NY to the country side in Europe.
Have a Blast, I am standing right here in your warming rays!
Love you always XO
Eve

Happy birthday gorgeous Garance and many genuine wishes for another inspiring year with delightful surprises!

A lovely article on a conversation I wish we heard more in this honest way. At almost 37 I am seeing definite physical changes and recently having had a baby gives me less time to work on ‘holding back the years’.

As you say there are many beautiful women of all ages, what they have in common though is that they were always exceptionally beautiful. That is never going to change. It’s hard to find solace in the fact that Lauren Hutton still looks great at 60 or whatever. For the more ordinary like myself I have to somehow come to terms with that in terms of physical beauty the peak has been reached; I feel at about 28 or so ;-) Unfortunately I didn’t know at the time and was always waiting to somehow ’emerge’ to my full potential or something.

Feeling comfortable with age has something to do with sense of accomplishment too, I think. If you feel you have achieved and lived a reasonable amount for your age, you can be proud of your years and experience.

Anyway, I am just blathering on without really reaching any coherent conclusion. Thanks for providing more food more for thought…

Happy birthday Garance! This is one of my favorite pieces you wrote. I love getting older, I am honored being my age. And I adore older women, they earned it. We have so many choices these days, we are just very lucky. don’t get 20 year girls who are already using Botox etc. They seem so afraid, Just live!
SimonaSimona/OFF DUTY Be happier, by doing less

Juli (at 2:54) said it all exceptionally well in just 4 lines. I re-read it a few times, it is very profound. Of course, having a child is a very personal decision and in the end, one should be completely content with theirs. In my opinion people should never despair getting older, we ought to feel lucky and blessed to be alive at any age, especially on reaching old age, many many millions of people never get that opportunity.

Thank you Garance,
I loved that post! I tell people I am 55 a lot! But wonder if I shouldn’t… But that’s who I am and I want to be one of the inspiring old ladies.

It’s hard though, I reckon it’s much easier to be a bit yuk when you are old… Salad in your teeth somehow looks worse and I think you can’t wear grunge or boyfriend jeans so easily because your skin is already grunge and boyfriend haha.
Still, thank you for inspiring me :)
Claere

I am 28 and recently we had a long text conversation with my best friends (all of us in different parts of the world) about turning 30 in 2 years (I know what you think but leaving 20es is kind of stressfull). They were worried about how they look now, their relashionships, marriage, kids you know all the usual stuff that MAY come with turning 30. I actually told them what you also think. I definitely feel better with myself now than 10 years ago. And I also believe that you have to do at every age what you think is better for you as you wrote because if you do what society wants you to do , you will definitely regret it later and this may have far worse consequences.

Happy Birthday Garance, your transparency is very humbling. How wonderful it is to read comments from 50+ year olds. I will be turning 56 in three weeks time. I am single, never married, childless and love my life. I have travelled extensively since the dawn of democracy in South Africa, when ravelling abroad became more accessible to us, and plan to travel some more. You say your career started late; at 57, I will be changing my career, leaving my current job to study for a year trusting that what I have learned form my 30 years experience will stand me in good stead.

Here’s to your next 10, 20 years of being fabulous towards turning 50.

Thank you for a great post! I’m your age too and agree with a lot of others here in that you really are an inspiration. Your blog is one of the few I’ve read daily for years now.

Now, there’s something I feel I need to comment about the post’s baby part. My first thought after reading your post yesterday was that “how on earth can people, let alone many people, ask this blogger, who they don’t know IRL, about something that personal?!” Where I come from, even though I live in a quite liberal part of Europe, it’s nowadays considered seriously nosy and thoughtless to ask pretty much anybody (woman or man) about their baby plans. First of all it’s really nobody else’s business. Second, what if the person in question wants but can’t for some reason have kids, or she/he really doesn’t want any but don’t see the reason to open up about that to others, or there might have been a miscarriage, relationship issue, etc.

However, it’s of course only natural to wonder about this, be it a friend, relative, co-worker or even a beloved blogger, who admittedly can sometimes feel like a real friend. But it’s one thing to wonder in one’s own mind or with someone else and totally another to actually ask about it from someone.

Although it’s nice that you wrote briefly about it, I hope you don’t feel you have to touch the subject *only* because some of your readers want to know. On the other hand, I don’t think you would. :)

Belated happy birthday wishes, Garance.
Juli (at 2:54) said it all exceptionally well in just 4 lines. I re-read it several times, it is very profound .Of course, having a child is a very personal decision and in the end one should be completely content with theirs. In my opinion people should never despair getting older, we ought to feel lucky and blessed to be alive at any age, especially old age, many many millions of people never get that opportunity.

I am genuinely touched by your post and the line of comments following. Conversations like this make me believe in womanhood and I am happy that even just being strangers in offline world we can build such an inspiring community online. It is beautifull.

Although I’ve been reading your blog regularly for a long time, this is the first post I comment on. I’m turning 30 in 3 days and reading this was balsam for my soul and also cleared my head. Thank you and happy birthday!

You are such an inspiration Garance, I am so thankful for your blog. I sincerely hope I have the opportunity to meet with you one day so you can impart your wisdom to me. Here’s to a fantastic year ahead for you. Lots of love from Oz. xxxx

Garance, this is one great letter…cuz i can’t call it article (it feels too personal to call it an article). Anyhow it’s amazing to read this and then to once again realize (a millionth time) that we – women share so similar ideas and fears and it’s scary but so empowering at the same time. On the other hand, age never ever bothers me and I don’t quite understand the whole fuss about it. It’s the number in my passport and that’s about it. I am in my mid twenties, but I couldn’t care less of what age I am and yes sometimes people say that I maybe should behave ‘according to my age’ but that’s just mad and I ignore it, unless I know I am going over the top :D so age doesn’t bother me at all, although I do notice that my skin , well wrinkles…are showing up slowly…which I am not sure if I am liking. Actually I am not. But that has nothing to do with me feeling bad about getting older by numbers.
I actually remembered reading ‘the little prince’ years ago. I had to find the quotation to share it with you (although I am pretty sure you know it too well, but it’s a brilliant one) – Grown-ups like numbers. When you tell them about a new friend, they never ask questions about what really matters. They never ask: “What does his voice sound like?” “What games does he like best?” “Does he collect butterflies?”. They ask: “How old is he?” “How many brothers does he have?” “How much does he weigh?” “How much money does his father make?” Only then do they think they know him. –

I’m at that age where I struggle with ‘getting older’ and at the same time, paradoxically, have never felt happier in my life! Like you, I did a lot of things after everybody else (I studied for a long time and then changed careers a couple times because I was so undecided – still am). Today, I work with people who are way younger than me (they’re in their early 20s and I’m in my late 20’s – and who’d have known there could be such a huge mentality shift in these few years!) and when I talk with them I feel like they have their entire career figured out, they know exactly where they’re going, when I’m still searching. It scares me a little, both because it makes me wonder why I’m not there yet, and also because I find it a little scary to have everything figured out by 23! Recently, I caught myself wanting to pass for younger than I was. I realized how ridiculous I was being. There’s nothing worse than trying to be who you’re not – that is, a girl just out of college!
So THANK YOU for this very personal and very beautiful post. Because in this society where being young is so overrated, it’s good to be reminded that some very good things only happen with age/wisdom. Because it’s true! I may be too old to be the next young prodigy, but I’ll never be too old to change careers or reinvent myself if I want to.

Also, thank you for sharing your personal thoughts about kids. As a new mom, I’ll tell you this: kids change your life because your personal freedom becomes limited by your child’s needs (suddenly you won’t be able to just pack your bags and work 24/7 at a Fashion Week – and you probably won’t even want to!). But that small limitation is nothing compared to the immense joy you’ll feel when you spend time with your baby. I had no idea it was possible to feel that way. And to have zero regrets about leaving your pre-baby life behind! So yay to growing up, yay to knowing what we want, yay to not having everything figured out yet! And a very happy birthday, Garance.

happy birthday Garance. Thank you for sharing such an ernest and lovey piece. It’s refreshing and cool to hear that life is beautiful no matter what stage you’re at, who you’re with or not with and what you do. It’s a great message to send out there especially at a time when women especially get caught up in society’s expectations. Have an awesome bonne anniversaire!

Thank you for this post. I am a couple of months older, so I have too turned 39 this year, and had all the same thoughts (especially about children), and it is so comforting to know that other women – and the ones I admire as well, – have them too….. Happy Birthday!

Garance I’ve been reading your blog for years now and I’m always inspired and uplifted by your writing. I guess perhaps because it’s a genuine kind of inspiration: fresh and real and unpretentious. Whatever happens next for you don’t stop writing. Happy Birthday xx

Happy (belated) Birthday Garance! We have a lot in common – both Taurus (mine is on May 12th!), I’m turning 43 this year (ok, a bit older than you but of the same generation), and I don’t have kids either. It’s too late for me but I love how you wrote about it because that’s exactly how I felt about it. I’d think about it. I knew time was ticking but never felt I HAD to have a baby. I left it up to nature and nature chose no, and I’m totally cool with that. And my partner is totally cool with that (as he was about us not getting married). And I’ve never forgotten that you said you like sci-fi. I love your blog and everything you do. Have a wonderful year and keep up the great work!!

So happy to read this post Garance! It makes me feel like I am truly not alone on the baby thing and the age and career thing! It’s been years since I left fashion school and years since I actually worked in fashion. I moved to a place I love dearly but that sadly has no fashion industry. Every day I hope that something will come up and even when I’ve had some tiny bit in it it does not seem to last in the area. One day I just decided that I would not “cry over spilled milk” so to speak. I love where I live and I love my life here so what if I don’t live up to creative potential in this area of the US? It’s hard to swallow sometimes but I have been lucky to have opportunities where people took a fashion grad and allowed her to work in technology;)

That said at this age…36 I do t think there is anything wrong with loving yourself as a gorgeous woman and an accomplished one in whatever field it ends up being in. Today is only today and I love the comments others have made about changes later in life. So many things come and go but a happy positive spirit, confidence and a killer manicure can make every day better.

Happy birthday!
I completely agree with your post. I am 44, and I only started feeling at ease with my body a couple of years ago. I started thinking I had the right to be who I am without conforming to society’s ‘requisites’ for a 40-yr-old woman, and this gave me enormous confidence. I am sexier now than I was at 20, because I’m confident. I am learning (driving a motorbike: done, studying a foreign language: done, …). I am growing, I am opening up to life’s beauty, I am not afraid, not of ageing anyway.
Don’t feel pressured into having kids, listen to yourself and the right decision will come.
I’d love to read your mum’s story!
kisses

Thanks Garance -I needed this post! I’m just a year older than you (just turned 40 on May 2nd)
and find your words couldn’t be truer; I also notice with each year I grow more sure of who I am, and more open to all the possibilities life has to offer and surprise me with. And you are so right! It’s never too late to reinvent yourself and evolve (my grandmother taught me this valuable lesson by going back to school to get her high school diploma & then later, her degree, at the age of 60, in 1978!). Like the women in your life, you too are a wonderful role model of being, simply, fabulous. Now, and at any age!!

Happy Birthday fellow Taurus! Thank you for your continued honesty and inspiring thoughts and words. You rock! <3

Happy birthday Garance, Thank you for this honest and down to earth article. Life goes on, time flyes, we change troughout the years, but if we keep reinventing ourselves and love ourselves age is just a number. Im 46, and always say to my daughter that I will always lipstick, even when I get old. All the best
PS_ Have a baby, don,t think too much…

Bon anniversaire, que l annee entiere te soit douce et legere (i live in English but i much prefer the french song, it has meaning)
Vive 1975, best vintage ever !! Well it has me and you !!
So yes have turned 39, but i stopped feeling old a few years ago when my friend who is finishing medical school -yes it s ok to change career in your 30s, even to embrace a very difficult one – told me ‘i work in hospitals, let me tell you you are not old’
That said i now try lots of things i would have never tried (hair extensions, eating weird things…), so yes try motherhood !!!
I leave you with this quote from J. eugenides
‘i hadn t gotten old enough yet to realize that living sends a person not into the future but back into the past, to childhood and before birth, finally to commune with the dead. You get older, you puff on the stairs, you enter the body of your father. From there it’s only a quick jump to your grandparents, and then before you know it you re time traveling. In this life we grow backwards”
D accord c est un mec mais oui je crois qu on devient toutes un peu notre maman en vieillissant euh plutot grandissant parce que meme si on ne grandit pas par la taille, on grandit quand meme hein, et en approchant 40 ans la vie de maman, la vie de mamie, qui elles etaient et celles (et ceux) encore avant prend de plus en plus d importance, et finalement c est toute l humanite qu on comprend mieux. Vive la sagesse, vive grandir

Happy Birthday to our Garance. (I say that because I really feel that you are in our lives, like a friend.)
I turned 50 this year. I don’t look it, maybe it’s because I act like a kid. I enjoy the wisdom that has come my way, I really wish I would have had it back “in the day” when I was making my mistakes. I only have one regret-and I know I’m not suppose to say that but I do. I regret that while I was still acting young and not looking or feeling my age, that my biological age crushed my dream. I forgot to have kids when I was young enough to have them. I thought that if I looked this way and felt this way, that my body would cooperate. Not so. Stupid me. I know this is “a wee bit” much to share on a post. But since we’re friends, I figured it would be ok. Advice I wished I’d have been given: Freeze an egg, be on the safe side. Do it as a precautionary measure. I know it’s not romantic advice but it’s practical. Once you do that, your options are open. And you can wait as long as you want.

Happy Birthday Garance, thank you for this grounding post. It is also my birthday this week and I’m wrapping my head around turning 36 (I’m also a late bloomer). Life could not be better, really glad to have made it this far.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this story. I am turning 36 in a few days and even though the things you mentioned have been an internal moto of mine for years, for some reason, this year I’ve allowed outside influences to pick at my self assured happiness. Thanks again for wacking sense into me. Can’t wait to celebrate!

Happy birthday!! My grandmother and mother both age beautifully. My mother always taught me that wrinkles are testimonies to the life you have lived. She has a beautiful skin and some lines around her eyes and mouth, those are there because of all the times she laughed. So I sure hope I will have wrinkles when I grow older because it means I will have had a lot of fun whilst trying to figure out how life works.
Bisous!

We are the same age! It’s really inspiring to know that it’s possible to do what you love at any age now. Last year I quit my job to return to full time study and change my career so at 39 I’m stepping out into a brave new world and I’ve never felt better! Although I do find it completely ridiculous that we will be 40 next year. There’s no way that’s happening… x

The wise and wonderful Gloria Steinem has the best response for all those who, upon her 40th birthday, felt the need to tell her: “You don’t look forty!. Her response was plain and simple: “This is what forty looks like.” Classic Steinem! I recommend that all women take that phrase to heart and use it for any and all birthdays from here on in.

I rarely reveal my age, not because I’m worried about how people will perceive me physically, but because I’ve noticed that people often judge what they think I know or have experienced, based on my age. They presume to know the cultural references I’ll understand, whether or not I should be getting married or having children, or where I might be in my career. It just generally opens up a can of worms that isn’t anyone’s business other than my close friends.

I can’t remember having read such an -for me- inspiring article. And sooo encouraging!
Thank you so much!
And yes, nature will decide! Or free quoting Seneca : we can help with the beginning, the rest is in fates hands.

I love your posts. Feel serene after reading. Fact is that trying to keep up with everything, even with own ambitions makes us (or me) miss the whole picture: sometimes it takes a little to be happy, slow down and enjoy life. Bottom line: I’m happy with me getting older, it means my son is growing up.
Thank you Garance and happy 39 (I’m almost 32)

Happy birthday:) Well, I´am 34 y.o. and I feel better, I look better than I did when I was in my twenties. Actually I do not know that person from the past anymore:). I am a late bloomer too:) In my twenties it scared the hell out of me, that everybody around me had already established carriers, boyfriends, they knew 100% who they were, when I was just wondering who I really was and was really struggling in finding any job. It took me some years and some bumpy roads, to become myself, to feel good in my skin, to learn who I am and to find my way. But it was worth it:)
I suppose there is no such things as time limits. You are as old as you feel yourself. Absolutely everything is possible. The most important is to follow yourself and that´s it.
By the way I love that advertisement company from &other stories. It gives really good vibe and affirms that we can do anything at any age and the older we get the more fabulous we become:)
Thank you for your post:)

Happy (belated) birthday. I find your post (and other posts related to age) really refreshing. We should celebrate people of all ages. Personally I feel as I get older I get calmer, more self assured and really appreciate my life, instead of being a big stress-ball!! I hope you had a fantastic birthday. xx

what a wonderful post, happy birthday garance!
as a teenager i was looking up to the witty and stylish characters of sex and the city, and i think these and so many other women (like the ones you mentioned) have already done so much to show that its up to us to stay fabulous no matter the age! particularly at this stage its women in their thirties and forties that i admire, and amazing people like costanza who make you curious and confident about the future =)

My first boyfriend’s mother used to lie about her age. She would add fifteen years to it and flash her Mona-Lisa-smile as they gush about how wonderful she looks. She knew “for her age” was always the unsaid context but she also knew that it didn’t matter and that she wouldn’t be locked in a box with other people’s mothers and ideas of what a woman of her true number of years on earth should look like, how she should act. She wore her hair piled high with heels always, scant makeup but bold lips. She advised 14 year-old-me to get a tattoo and fast to fix my uptight parents. “Just one- something small and tasteful to make a point” she cautioned. I should have taken her advice. I kept locked up far too long. Though I’m making up for it now..

So honest, so open-hearted, so humble. You sound like a wonderful person! Rapidly approaching 54 myself, my only piece of advice? Try your best to stay healthy. It can truly enhance your experience of aging. And I’d love to hear your mom’s story, since I’m contemplating the very same thing!