My BF wants me chubby!!

When I first met my BF 3 years ago I was 95kg and was literally a mess. 2 years ago I started hitting the gym and got my weight down to 65kg. With that I noticed our sexual life took a dive as well. My BF rarely talks about something he doesn't like which caused so many problems over the years. Eventually he told me that I need to gain some weight as he finds that more attractive and so I did now 77kg. But it seems this isnt enough for him. Then he told me he is turned on by chubby guys and it is something in him beyond his control. We still have occasional sex but there is no passion in it.

So now he asks me to put on more weight like 10 or 20 kg and he would feel 'comfortable'. I find this weird as I can get 20 year olds now easily but my body is not good enough for him. I am 33 and he is 22 so there is an age gap there and I seriously thought about putting on some weight but I would be destroying all the hard word I had to put to be in shape. I am not sure I love him and want him to be happy and it is not entirely unreasonable to expect ur partner to be in a shape u fantasize about but I am not really sure what to do.

GAMRican saidIf he asked you to be come a heroin junkie...would you?If he asked you to pour acid on your face...would you?

Extreme examples, but relevant.

This and this times a million.You can't change men, you either love them for who they are, or you are a moron. Just last week my long suffering super hot hairless Asian - LingLang - asked me to cuddle with him after some hilarious sex, and I laughed so hard I may have teared up. Don't try and change anyone.

He is 168 cm tall and 62 kg, I'm 176 and 77 kg. His EX was chubby (which was his first sexual encounter) so this might be a reason why he has a thing for chubbies.

At any rate, I understand the bit on "Don't try to change someone", but in fact I did change to the better _because_ he was in my life, I had motivation I never had before. The weight/gym thing was only one thing out of many I improved over the years.

since when is your personal health and happiness negotiable? I would think that concern for your own health and happiness would be of primary concern to a partner . If you are not happy with your weight and are doing it just to make another comfortable, sooner or later you will resent him. If you arent getting anything out of this relationship, dont make yourself unhappy and unhealth. stay at a healthy weight and he needs to either adapt or move on. its called growing up.

Sporty_g saidsince when is your personal health and happiness negotiable? I would think that concern for your own health and happiness would be of primary concern to a partner . If you are not happy with your weight and are doing it just to make another comfortable, sooner or later you will resent him. If you arent getting anything out of this relationship, dont make yourself unhappy and unhealth. stay at a healthy weight and he needs to either adapt or move on. its called growing up.