"Ladies and Gentlebeings, welcome one and all to the 309th
Intergalactic Song Contest"

Bang-Bang-A-Boom
(Gareth Roberts and Clayton Hickman)

December 2002's seemingly now-traditional Big
Finish Yuletide romp is once again written by Gareth Roberts and Clayton
Hickman, the team responsible for the Christmas 2001 extravaganza and
poll-winning hit "The One Doctor".
But is this antidote to murder mysteries sillier than their last?

This story
goes under the rather strange title of "Bang-Bang-A-Boom". I think therefore
that we have been warned...

And the difference between this story and last
year's seasonal offering - as stated by Gareth Roberts "The One Doctor" was
very picaresque: this is a whodunit with The Doctor as detective." He has also
described "Bang-Bang-A-Boom" as "a homage to those Star Trek episodes where
lots of aliens gather for a conference."

This story is
directed by Nicholas Pegg and it was recorded on the 1st and 2nd October 2002.
It has been written for the Seventh
Doctor and Melanie
Bush and stars Sylvester
McCoy and Bonnie Langford. The story also boasts a cast packed with celebrities
including:

The glamorous Sabina Franklyn, who is more familiar from her
regular roles in sitcoms Full House and Keep It In The Family,
playing the part of Medical officer Dr Eleanor Harcourt. Sabina Franklyn has
also appeared in Blake's 7 episode "Moloch" and as the posh girlfriend
in the famous "Basil The Rat" episode of Fawlty Towers.

Playing the
part of the absent-minded Professor Ivor Fassbinder is none other than Graeme
Garden, who is better known and loved by millions as a member of the classic
comedy trio The Goodies. In recent years Graeme Garden has appeared
in The Student Prince and Peak Practice. He also regularly
appears in the Radio Four anarchic game show I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue.

Taking the role of the warlike Queen Angvia is Patricia
Quinn, whose credits include I Claudius, Fortunes of War,
Monty Python's The Meaning of Life and The Box of Delights -
which also starred
Patrick
Troughton. However, Patricia Quinn is best known for her performance as
Magenta in the cult classic The Rocky Horror Picture Show and, to
Doctor Who, fans as Belazs in the 1987's "Dragonfire".

And finally, the misanthropic interpreter Loozly is portrayed
by Nickolas Grace, who has appeared in television shows as diverse as
Brideshead Revisited, Survivors, Bergerac, Max
Headroom and Absolutely Fabulous. He also played the part of the
villainous Sheriff of Nottingham in all three seasons of Robin of
Sherwood.

Aboard
the giant station Dark Space 8, an advanced monitoring
station floating serenely among the stars, representatives
of diverse species are gathering. As its crew, a dedicated
and highly-skilled group of professionals, calmly going
about their vital work, The Doctor and Mel arrive via
an incoming shuttle completely unaware that they are in
grave danger. Because Dark Space 8 - is hosting
the 309th Intergalactic Song Contest

Amongst
the other arrivals are old enemies: the haughty Angvian
Queen and the gaseous gestalt Gholos. There are other
amusing entrants, stressed-out translators and a jaded
commentator.

After nearly
being blown up The Doctor and Mel find themselves aboard
the space station but a case of a mistaken identity means
that they don't find themselves incarcerated. Assuming
their new identities, The Doctor as a commander and Mel
as a pilot, The Doctor soon takes charge and starts liasing
with the station's medical officer and chief scientist.
Meanwhile Mel gets to meet the galaxy's fifth most famous
person: Earth entrant Nicky Newman.

Tasked
with finding the TARDIS
the station's science officer, Professor Fassbinder, is
having trouble locating it amongst the debris of the destroyed
space shuttle much to the alarm of The Doctor. Then death
strikes on Dark Space 8

Melanie

But who is causing
these deaths. Could the performing rivalries really be
to blame for these macabre murders and can events aboard
Dark Space 8 threaten galactic peace? Could old
political rivalries be manifesting themselves among the
contestants? Is this the work of a breakaway terrorist
faction? Or has someone just got it in for singer-songwriters?

There are many suspects
for The Doctor to choose from: the haughty Queen Angvia,
the gaseous gestalt Gholos, disposable pop idol Nicky
Neumann, erratic Professor Fassbinder and the icily-efficient
Dr Helena Harcourt. But who could it be and what is the
murder's motive?

Why must The Doctor beware 'The Pits of Angvia' and will Mel be able
to stop jumping to hasty conclusions? What role will the
Arbiter play and will the contest ever get underway and
if it does will it have an explosive finale?

With peace in
the galaxy hanging by a thread will Dark Space 8's
unconventional new commander, with the help of his personal
pilot, Mel, find the murderer in time to prevent a major
intergalactic war?

Or will The Doctor's new
found fame go to his head and will he find himself centre
stage?

Dark Space
8 - an advanced monitoring station floating serenely
among the stars. Its crew - a dedicated and highly-skilled
group of professionals, calmly going about their vital
work. Its mission - to boldly host the Intergalactic Song
Contest.

With
representatives from myriad worlds competing, the eyes
of the universe are on the station. But dark deeds are
afoot aboard Dark Space 8... and people are starting to
die.

The haughty Queen Angvia,
the gaseous gestalt Gholos, disposable pop idol Nicky
Neumann, erratic Professor Fassbinder and the icily-efficient
Dr Helena Harcourt ­ all are suspects. Could old
political rivalries be manifesting themselves among the
contestants? Is this the work of a breakaway terrorist
faction? Or has someone just got it in for singer-songwriters?

With peace in the galaxy
hanging by a thread, it's vital that the mystery is solved
­ and fast! Can Dark Space 8's unconventional new
commander, with the help of his personal pilot, Mel, find
the murderer in time to prevent a major intergalactic
war?

Aliens similar to Arabs/Israelis appear in a
clumsily tasteless and specious political allegory

Something funny happens (everyone starts evolving
back into fish or a mouldy cheese eats the ship) and
everybody takes it incredibly seriously in an attempt
to make the dilemma seem realistic, but it backfires
by emphasising its ludicrousness

Something that happened in the show four years
ago is mentioned or no other reason than to make the
day of a socially awkward viewer in New Jersey

We hope we've
done justice to all of the above in Bang-Bang-a-Boom!

Gareth Roberts and Clayton Hickman,
Christmas 2002

Gareth Roberts
has written for Coronation Street, Emmerdale,
Brookside, Randall & Hopkirk (Deceased),
and Swiss Toni. He is currently living in the
land of development, which is next to the land of fiction
but considerable bigger.

Clayton Hickman
is the editor of Panni Comics’ Doctor Who
Magazine, a freelance graphic designer for Big
Finish and BBC Worldwide and the co-author of 2001’s
festive romp The One Doctor. He lives in Lewisham.

Production Notes:

After
the success of The
One Doctor at Christmas 2001, it seemed appropriate
to ask the writers of that, somewhat pantomime-esque adventure
to submit an idea for Christmas 2002. The only criteria
given to them: not to do another parody of the Doctor
Who format, although light, funny and romp were used
as words of encouragement. Thus Gareth and Clayton turned
their wit towards all the kind of programmes with which
ITV used to try to steal Doctor Who's ratings at
teatime on a Saturday afternoon. Added into that mix,
however, was that other perennial favourite, the Eurovision
Song Contest, here given a far broader range to include
the galaxy rather than one, rather limited, continent
on Earth