Time to Get Along

Day uuhhhh, 2008?

Now the work begins. Have to call the estate attorney and see about getting through he surrogate court crap and start the executor stuff. Been googling the process for here in New York. Good Lord, there’s some hoops to jump through. I’ll probably be stopping in here to bitch about it some.

Things started out innocently enough. Went to Eric’s graduation ceremony in Syracuse. He did a pretty stellar job in the academy. Finished as his class Salutatorian (#2 academically) and also finished #2 in firearms by a whopping 0.1 points. Got pictures galore, got to meet the Sheriff, even got a tour of the jail. We were surprised to learn that they use a ‘pod’ system, where Eric is locked inside the pod with 50 or 60 of Syrause’s finest individuals. No other deputies, no weapons, nothing but his charm, wit & training. The good part is that these are guys being remanded, waiting for grand jury indictment or their regular trials. Any misbehavior on their part makes things worse for them at trial, so they have some incentive to keep their noses clean.

Took the clan out to dinner and made the drive back home. Got settled in, watched a little Survivor, then got the phone call that started it all. Bob’s temp was up to 104, breathing was rapid & shallow. He had been constipated to the point his abdomen was distended earlier in the week, but the staff managed to get things flowing again. I was thinking that maybe not quite everything made it out and he’d ruptured something and that had caused a gigunda infection. So off we went to the nursing home to see what was up. Called Cindy’s brother and he came in too.

Stayed there till 3:30am when it became apparent that Bob had rallied a bit and was resting more comfortably. Went home, got a whopping 3 or4 hours sleep, made some phone calls and headed back in. Friday was just one long slide.

By Friday afternoon family had started gathering in Bob’s room. Old wounds between brother & sister were forgotten. We pent the vast majority of the time catching up, reliving some of the goofier stuff we’d done. Bob was usually involved, either as the straight man or the perpetrator of the act. I’m sure he heard us, sitting around sharing stories and really having a pretty good time. I hope that relaxed him.

We’d read a book on the dying process, so we knew a little of what to expect. The speed with which things progressed was amazing. Temp up, temp down. Breathing fast & shallow, mottling of the skin, apnea starting then — nothing.

The staff was compassionate to a super human degree. I can not fathom how these people do this on a regular basis. I am in awe. I hope they like the cookie tray they’re going to get tomorrow.

Evil by-product of all this? Too much eating out. Tried to be good but no exercise doesn’t help either. Plan to get back on track tomorrow, get some calls made to start the executor process, then arrange for time off from work to accomplish some of my more fun tasks. Gonna be a fun month. At least I get a commission. Someplace in there I need to dig out at work too. Then I keep hearing something about a Philly style snow storm for up here by the end of the week. Rumor has it that we’ve had 70 inches of snow so far this winter. That’s too bad, means we have 35 to go to hit our average. Could be a brutal March.

Wow. First – about the “pod” situation – yikes!!! OJT! Congrats to you all, glad you made it before the call. Second, it sounds like Bob’s passing went pretty well, bringing the family together like that I mean. Still tough to go through, but I bet he would be happy that his children came together and seemed to reconcile. Good luck these next few weeks. Losing a parent is so hard, even when it’s for the best.