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Friday, February 29, 2008

pup-sitting reminds me what it's like to have a newborn baby in the house. you wake up for every sound. every movement. every breath. every anything.

trish & jeff are gone for nine days. NINE. and we have the pups! i barely slept at all last night because i was so concerned that the doggies were gonna freak out, or piss on our wall, or.. i dunno, get hurt or something. every rattle of the dog collar and i was up. every scratch in the carpet, and i was up. every ANYTHING, i was up.

it is like having a newborn!!!!!

the best part was blake casually telling me last night, "mom, toby just tried to pee on our wall." i was like "what? what do you mean? how do you know?? are you sure he wasn't just sniffing???"and he goes, "mom. he lifted his leg to pee on the corner. i told him no. he stopped."great. but really- how could you get upset at faces like these (especially toby. he looks like a grouchy grandpa and it cracks me up)?

Thursday, February 28, 2008

okay so maybe it's more like there is A thing on the wall. or two. or actually 3. BUT STILL. things are going ON MY WALLS!!!!! which means, the house is actually becoming a REAL HOME! (why do i hear pinocchio in my head screaming.. "a real boy papa! A REAL BOYYYYYYYYYY!!!") it's so exciting!!! i can't wait for more!things! although we really need a fucking dining room table man. but anyway-

look!

cranberry decorative curtains! and a curtain rod! and a pretty painting! and pretty candles!

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

normally i have no problems with bumper stickers on people's cars. well, i do think they are a little ridiculous and i have never understood why people insist on putting their political and religious beliefs all over the back of their car. i mean i get it that your car is a really personal part of you and who you are, and if you want to advertise to the world that you think hillary clinton is c word, then apparently, you're entitled to do it. i guess i just don't understand WHY you would want to show strangers your most personal thoughts and opinions? do you just want to be judged? can you put something on your car that is really controversial and then get offended or upset if someone flips you off, or yells at you while you're driving? cause in my opinion, if you do that, then you kind of deserve it. you can't put something on your car to invoke responses from people and then get mad when they do respond.

per usual, i'm straying.

this morning there was a truck in front of me and he had about 20 bumper stickers plastered all over the back of his car. i couldn't help but read them when i stopped because they were eye level with me and pretty much IN.MY.FACE. so i'm looking at all of them, and then i get to the very last one on the bottom of his truck:

send all liberals to afghanistan

and immediately, right after reading it, i was offended.

not just as a person who considers herself mildly liberal (because i am NOT fanatical liberal, or crazy liberal, or over the top liberal, etc) but as a human. as a person. as a woman. as a mom. as a wife. as a friend. a sister. a daughter. does the guy driving that truck really think that? would he really want that? would he truly support doing something like that???? because i can't imagine someone who didn't believe it, would drive around with it on his car. and so it set me off on a tangent (of course) about how truly mean and cruel that is. and how scary that way of thinking is. and do people really think like that? and just how sad. and how mean. and is the guy driving a father? does he have kids? what if they grow up to be liberals? would he then change his mind and take off his sticker? i mean, WHO PUTS SOMETHING LIKE THAT ON THEIR CAR?????

*sighs*

i guess to me, the equivalent would be something like send all pro-lifers to iraq. now wouldn't that offend all the pro-lifers out there? doesn't that offend you (if you happen to be pro-life) just to read it?? wouldn't you wonder what kind of person i was when you drove past me on the freeway, or am i just blowing this out of porportion cause i'm pms'ing? lol

Monday, February 25, 2008

we got royally fucked by our landlord in regards to our initial deposit.

our deposit was close to 1500 dollars and he sent us 499!!!

we lived there for 2 and a half years. he is trying to charge us for prepping the place to paint it, repainting it, carpet cleaning (he said we would be the last tenants on the carpet), a part in the stove plus labor to fix it (it broke while we were living there- he said he wouldn't fix it, so we didn't either), additional cleaning (which he had already called me prior to moving out and said that the place looked perfect), and whatever else he made up.

i am now on a mission. this is complete bullshit. it would be one thing if i didn't clean the place at all, or totally did some half ass job, but i didn't. i fucking busted my ass cleaning that piece of shit place. i cleaned for 6 solid hours one day and then i went there everynight after work for a week and a half. so, if anyone has any helpful links that i can include in the package i am putting together for him in rebuttal to every single thing he is charging us for, i'd appreciate it. and thanks!

i know this is old, but everytime i see it i laugh so freaking hard i almost pee on my ball at work. if you haven't watched this, watch it. if you have, watch it again. matt damon makes this thing freaking HILARIOUS-

Friday, February 22, 2008

know what's interesting? all the bloggers who long to be a part of a clique.. whether it's the old clique, or the new ones, or the even newer ones.

know what's more interesting? do you ever stop to think WHY you want to be part of the clique? i mean, do you even truly like these people, or do you just want to be perceived as "popular?"

because i'll tell you straight up that there are some cliques that:A- their blogs suck. i can't even read them because they bore me to tears and i have no idea how they have the amount of daily readership that they do.and B- these people have NOTHING in common with me and i would never be friends with them in real life. i mean, not meaningful friends.

yet there are these people who would give their typing hand to be a part of what those people are. and i just don't get it.

i'm not saying i'm better than anyone, or that my blog doesn't suck or that i don't bore people to tears, i'm just saying...... stop longing to be a part of a group who isn't longing to be a part of yours.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

yep. you read right. he's lost the wedding ring. he lost it a few weeks ago actually, but i'm just now coming to the realization that it might actually be gone.

see, he was working on the house.... outside of the house.... and he was wearing it. he was shoveling and doing a bunch of manly stuff that i totally love him for and makes him even that much more hot in my eyes. but then he lost it. and he's not quite sure where. or when. was it in the backyard? was it in the front? he doesn't know.

but you have to love the man that rents a metal detector the very next day with the hopes of finding it. i mean, that's some serious dedication.

but now the reality is starting to set in. the reality that means we may never find his ring again. that his poor ring is sitting somewhere, cold and lonely. all alone. just waiting for us to find it and pick it up. it even sends me dreams. 2 of them to be exact. but i still can't find it. and it's really kind of sad. and i hate the fact that he goes to bed with no ring on anymore. and that we can't do "wonder married powers, activate"... and that he lost the ring we exchanged on our wedding day. when i think about it that way, i almost start to cry. so i don't think about that way.

i'm guessing though that boyfriend isn't the first (and most likely not the last) to lose his wedding ring. i'm just wondering though, doesn't it normally take them longer to lose?? sheesh.

Friday, February 15, 2008

so, i'm sitting here in the airport and there are these 2 guys to my right who look like they are straight outta orange county choppers, or some shit. they are making me laugh. they talk so fucking loud.now they are both lying down in the middle of the airport. sleeping. feet to feet. i'm going to take their picture.oops, i woke one of them up. he asks if i want to join the slumber party. i laugh. and decline, OF COURSE! sheesh!the one i woke up just gave me some bandana of their store. SEE, they are totally like orange county chopper guys! but they're sand guys, or something with sand in the name. anyway, the bandana is cute... you know, if you like scary skeleton guys on your head. whatever, i'll still totally wear it.

the guys i'm supposed to be traveling with are still not here. what if they don't show up? no seriously. if they don't get here soon, we're totally going to leave without them.

ooh, that girl has super pretty hair! and that is pretty much the cutest kid ever. mom's and their sons are funny. "do you want to get a big cookie for the plane ride?" "otay!"i miss when blake was that little. he was so dang cute and funny. now he's just big and funny.

oooh, i see one of my co-workers!!!!! one down, one to go- and we're seriously leaving soon.

uh oh, the sand chopper guy is awake again. he's asking me to email him the pictures i took of them sleeping so they can put it on their website. i can do that. and i guess he wasn't really sleeping now was he? faker face.

oooh, cookies. yum.

i bought some vitamin water, and i've never bought that shit before and i bought the one that was labeled "energy" but of course i don't look at the type of flavor it is... i take one sip, and it tastes like mango, or peach, or kiwi, or some shit i do not like. i throw it away. the whole dang thing. in the trash.

now i'm really starting to worry cause where the heck is gc?!?!?! i am going to call work to get his cell phone and find out where he is!!!!!

ok i'm back. gc did not answer his phone. i'm calling again. OH he answered! he said he just woke up! which reminds me that i totally had a dream last night that me and gc were shopping for valentine's day presents for his wife and we missed our flight!!!!!!!! now he's laughing and saying he's at the airport- OH, THERE HE IS! YAY!!!!!!!

phew. the gang's all here.

gc just asked if he has time to get a coffee. i told him yes, but now we're boarding the plane. and he's getting coffee. lol... the best part was, when i sat down in the plane, i got a text that said "where did you all go???" HAHAHHAA.. oh man. poor gc.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

i'm curious how many of you celebrate valentine's day. if you do, what do you do? if you GET something from your significant other, what do you expect? are there things that are totally unacceptable for v-day in your opinion?? are you a low key, or high maintanance v-dayer? what do you give?

now i think valentine's day is kind of stupid. i mean, why is society telling me that i have to celebrate on a day that is no different than any other plain old day??? valentine's day holds no special meaning for me and boyfriend. we didn't meet for the first time on v-day... we didn't get married, or engaged, or anything significant on this day- so why does february 14th require all this crap???? WHO MAKES THIS SHIT UP??

so while i do think it's sorta dumb... i freaking participate in it every year. because i'm a sucker, and there is a part in me that could NO WAY completely ignore this day. but in my relationship, i'm the only one. i will tell you, out loud and in public, that boyfriend has NEVER, in the 5 valentine's days (tomorrow) that we've spent together, ever, gotten me a single thing. not a piece of candy. not a single rose. not a card. NOTHING. and every fucking year i buy him something. granted, it's a stupid something- BUT IT IS STILL A SOMETHING nonetheless. i either bake for him, or get him candy, or a stupid stuffed animal- just something to acknowledge the day. it's not spectacular, or fancy, but it's sweet. and he knows that i will do something. he knows that i can't do nothing. yet he is completely fine in doing nothing for me. and i guess that's the part i can't quite figure out. maybe i just say valentine's day is stupid, but deep down i really don't mean it??? maybe there is something to having a day that means nothing, to show that they mean something? i don't know!!! all i know is that i am a little bitter that i get totally jipped outta valentine's day when everyone else around me gets the fucking works. and hell, i don't even want the works- i just want something.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

you see, i have been working here for 2.5 years. i've been with this department almost since it was born. almost. and the whole time we've been working on something that has been "secret" .. kept under wraps and totally not talked about in public....

until today!

and i so badly want to scream it to the world that THIS IS WHAT WE'VE BEEN WORKING ON!!!!this is what i've been a part of!!!!!! but i feel like i can't.. or that i shouldn't... and that makes it really hard because I AM SO PROUD!!! so, so proud!!!! and i want to share it with everyone! i want to show you the press release and i want to talk to you about all the hard work and numerous hours everyone has put into this to make it the amazing product that it is.i am truly in awe of everything this group has accomplished. it's mindblowing to me. it kicks ass! it looks so good! it's so fun and awesome and AHHHHH- i love it!!! and i am SO excited for everyone's reactions to it! i think you'll all love it!!!!!

and i just wanted to acknowledge it. in a weird, roundabout, non specific way. that's kind of annoying huh?

ps- if you know what i do, please don't post specifics in the comments- if i felt i could talk about it openly here, i would be doing that.... but i don't. and i don't want to get fired. and i don't want to get in trouble. and i really wish i could tell you more. i really wish i could tell you all, but i just don't think it's best. :)

Friday, February 08, 2008

the gas pedal is the large one on the far right. step on it. it is your friend. so, for the love of my sanity, if there is no plausible reason for you to be driving 10 miles under the speed limit, DON'T.DO.IT.

isn't the law now that if you're going to talk on your cell phone, you must have an earpiece? i realize they did this, because one cannot talk and drive at the same time. the moment your car goes from 75 to 50, i know you're on the phone, and i want to run you off the road. invest in a $10 headset, dumbass. and oh yeah, get outta my way.

i guess i only had 2 more. cause they all revolve around the fact that i need you people to step on the gas pedal. i loathe being stuck behind slow people who are going slow for no good reason (unless you're older, then i truly forgive you for just about everything.. ask boyfriend)...

Thursday, February 07, 2008

i guess it's moments like these that hit me just how fucked up i am on the inside about everything that has happened with my dad. i was listening to the radio this morning and i heard a song. the words made me keep listening and before i knew it, i was totally crying. it was a song about a guy coming to ask the father for permission to marry his daughter & how the boyfriend sees her as this amazing woman and how the dad will always see her as his little girl.. (all the lyrics are here) i can't listen to songs like that anymore. hell, i can barely get through "i loved her first" without completely losing it. and when that happens, i realize how tragic and sad this whole situation truly is. and how i'm simply not okay. because if i was okay, those damn songs would not bring on the waterworks that they do. i would not be brought to tears on my freaking way to work. dammit.

*sighs*

i guess the saddest part for me is knowing how close my dad and i used to be. how i was the epitome of a "daddy's girl." how he was the only MAN in my life for almost 30 years until i met my husband. and how i know now that my husband is more of a man than my father ever was, or ever will be. but it still affects me. i find myself worried about things i don't think i would have worried about if my father hadn't left my mother. i mean, who the fuck leaves their wife when they're that age? i don't want to be the person who thinks her relationship could end at anytime... that my husband might leave me when we're 60 for some whore 20 years younger. i don't want to think about these things. i don't want these scenarios in my head. my husband is not my father. i know all of this. i promise you i do. but how can my father's actions NOT affect me?!?! please, someone tell me if you know how to seperate the two.

while things like this make me sad when i sit down and think about them, i have to clarify. i think that the sadness i feel is more like a type of grieving... as if i'm mourning a loss. the loss of having my father in my life. the loss of the father i thought i knew. the loss of respect. the loss of innocence. millions of seperate feelings that all link together. i'm not angry anymore that my dad chose not to attend my wedding. that too, is in the "sad" category. not sad for me really, but i think it's sad for him- as a father and as a person. it's something i'll never understand. but that's because it's something he'll never truly admit or own up to the real reasons for not attending. he'll project his not coming onto me and blame me until he dies probably. and even that doesn't make me mad anymore. it's just pathetic. it's sad to know that i'll never have the kind of relationship i once did with my father. it's sad to think that he'll probably never really be involved in my life, or my kid(s) lives again. it's sad to feel as if my father has left me and that i have no father at all anymore (i know that's not really fair and kind of fucked up, but his actions have made me feel uncared for, replaced, and abandoned). it's sad to know that i can't think of another word for sad.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

this morning while i was driving to the airport, the following jackasses drove in front of me:

some chick READING A MAGAZINE and attempting to drive at the same time. lady, you cannot do both. do you understand this?? you cannot READ A MAGAZINE and operate a car, asshole.

some jerk smoking with his windows down, blowing the smoke out the windows and right into my car. sorry smokers, but i loathe the smell of cig smoke. then he tossed it out the window as if the freeway was his personal garbage can. jackass.

some punk who literally cut me off and then SLAMMED on his brakes. if you're going to force your way in front of my car (whose name is sam by the way), you better step on the gas, not the brake. asswipe.

Sunday, February 03, 2008

i don't even care about either of those teams, but i really wanted the giants to win. don't ask why, because i'm not entirely sure. maybe i didn't want the team who got caught "cheating" at the beginning of the season to go undefeated. maybe i wanted the underdog to win. maybe i have no reason or excuse at all, but that game rocked and i'm happy the pats lost. sorry pat fans.