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First Dirigible Conservatory to Land at Mabel Tripp Gardens

Commuters will witness a curious sight floating amid the Central Corridor’s skyscrapers tomorrow morning: a transparent dirigible filled with greenery will be seen making its northerly approach from its current week-long stop at New Heath’s Horticultural Center and Casino. The dirigible SS Wassermelone is currently on a transoceanic goodwill/window shopping tour after making several stops abroad.

Controversy has dogged the dirigible’s travels since the tour’s official launch last fall, as many complaints have been made by pedestrians in several cities of peach pits, banana peels and melon rinds raining down upon streets and rooftops, allegedly left in the dirigible’s wake. Although Herr Ambassador Kloop, head of the city’s German consulate, has insisted that such incidents were isolated and nothing more than ballast mishaps, it’s been rumored that the crew may be acting out in a passive-aggressive manner in response to their captain’s leadership style. It must be noted here that Captain Stachelschwein has been characterized in the international press as an uptight, monocled prick with a pointy helmet, hornlike moustaches and a mechanical hand that seems to malfunction at the most inopportune of moments. Reports of his incessant tuba playing have also not yet been verified.

In anticipation, Mayor Wilders has put the city’s composting crews on alert throughout the weekend.

The airship will be moored near the Edwin Halstead Horticultural Center at Mabel Tripp Gardens through Tuesday.- Victor A. Crawford III