Back in November/December I was bored and not feeling a lot of knitting projects and a friend casually mentioned wanting knit Christmas stockings. After some back-and-forth on what she wanted in particular, with a pretty vague “I just want something simple” request, I ended up designing my own. Worsted yarn on size 6 needles (probably could/should have gone down a size) and a few attempts to design my own snowflake chart and letters and… well, here it is. If I end up making this pattern again I might change up a few things – needle size, being one, but overall I’m pretty pleased with myself on these.

They will end up lined, as I’ve learned with the knit ones I made for our family that presents stretch them out and snag the yarn a bit. Plus they need a tab sewn in to hang them with.

The upside to all this time off from the holidays has meant lots of extra knitting time I otherwise never get. I’m a little worried by how spoiled I’m becoming about it – next week we go back to Real Life, which means back to our normal schedules and normal stresses and, sadly, back to less knitting time.

First up, we have some mitts. The husband’s job has a fundraiser auction each year, and the theme the last few years has been Super Heroes. I’ve wanted to make a pair for the auction for a while now but baby knits took up most of my time, so I made a point to cast these on and get them done while I was in a lull of knitting before I jump head-first back into kid knits. Yarn is Knit Picks Palette, and the size I made was the larger one (given that I don’t know who will be receiving these, I opted for the larger size to fit a man’s hands – I might have enough yarn to knit a second set in opposite coloring for a woman, though, so that may be next year’s project).

Second, some slipper socks in gorgeous Madelintosh tosh chunky (color is Robin Red Breast). I knit these for the very sweet woman who spent the last few years coming to visit my grandfather every day. She’d take him out to eat, take him shopping, and when he could still get around they’d even go dancing together. ♥ With death in families there’s always drama that pops up, and this sweet lady has been severely under-appreciated for all that she did. I wanted to do something nice for her, and since handmade gifts are how I show my love, I decided to order this gorgeous yarn and make her some slippers to help keep her feet warm this winter. I can’t wait to pop them in the mail tomorrow and surprise her!

Next up… toddler sweaters. All from the stash, thankfully. 2016 is going to be the Year of the Stash. For real. Please stop laughing. I really mean it! Ok, well, maybe most of the year? If I actually make a good dent in my stash I’m totally okay to buy yarn come November’s yarn sales, right? Maybe I should just make a goal… say, if I get through 3,500 yards of yarn? My total 2015 numbers with destashing and then my new purchases ended up with a total overall of about 3,200 yards out, so if I can get through 3,500 that puts me over 2015 AND makes a large dent in the stash, yes?

Well, it’s done! It was all finished before the end of December, so it still counts as a holiday gift. All in all, knitting a sweater for the husband wasn’t a horrible undertaking, but in the future I’ll definitely choose my patterns a bit differently. Preferably the top-down variety that requires less seaming, plus the benefit of being able to have him try it on. The sleeves are a tad long, you see. But it’s done and waiting for him to wear it (at which point I’ll try to get a proper in-action photo – the lighting today really is pretty horrible so I had to make do with close by windows). I picked up buttons for it from Knitting Temptations, where I originally told myself I was going in for buttons only and then came home with 3 skeins of yarn plus buttons. Oops. I really am trying to go “cold sheep” (meaning no new yarn purchases) this year so at least those 3 came in on NYE?

After a long, emotionally exhausting week I can officially say that we are near the end of the husband’s Christmas sweater. I spent several hours on the road, going back and forth between home and the funeral home, and managed to get the bulk of the 2nd sleeve knit (don’t worry, the husband was driving). And then, yesterday, I spent the majority of my day standing and knitting in an attempt to finish the last portion. Because, of course, you can’t sit down and knit with a toddler – there’s apparently some unwritten rule in toddlerdom that if mama sits down that’s your sign to pester her. (Seriously, I’m kneeling at the computer right now rather than sitting in the chair because as soon as I do that his independent play is over.)

This morning I set about to washing each of the pieces and blocking them in hopes that I can spend Sunday stitching it all together and Monday-Wednesday working like crazy on the collar and button band to have it done in time for Friday. I’m not impressed with the amount of dye runoff that came out of the individual pieces. The yarn was the basic Knit Picks Wool of the Andes, so it wasn’t like I spent a ton of money on the yarn (wasn’t my choice, however – I offered to knit it in nicer wool but husband is cheap and insisted the cheaper yarn would be fine). I laid towels down on my bed to keep it from getting stained as well. Oh well. Next time I’ll persuade him to go with a nicer yarn. Either that, or I’ll just pick it out myself and not tell him what I bought or how much it cost.

My 95 year old grandfather passed away over the weekend. I can’t say it was unexpected – his quality of life deteriorated significantly this last year or so, but these last weeks it all became much worse and much harder on him. His mind was sharp, but his body was starting to give out on him. Which, of course, bodies do when they’ve been on this earth for 95 years. Tuesday he told my uncle he was “done”, and by Saturday morning my dad was rushing in to spend time with him in his last moments. I’m told he hadn’t moved from the couch in several days and kept his eyes closed and was not engaging in conversation.

I’ve cried a fair bit, I admit. Despite knowing it was coming, and being “okay” with it (meaning that it was for the best that his suffering and pain ended), it’s still hard to not cry when I think of him. We have a photo ornament of my grandfather holding the baby when he was 2 weeks old. We’ve been working with the kiddo to point to me when we say “mama” and to the husband for “dada” and to himself for “Declan.” He never points to himself. Except yesterday, he pointed to the ornament of grandpa holding him and did it. And I about lost it.

My natural urge, when it comes to grief, is to bake and craft. I seek out those things that comfort me. Maybe there’s some symbolism there in the fact that life is varied and full of change and, generally, baking means the same results with the same recipe (and, similarly, the same knit stitch will produce the same stitch result). There’s a bit of meditation in the kitchen or behind the needles. It’s where I go when I need to think. To take some “me” time and reset.

But there’s no time to grieve when you have a one year old under foot. They neither know or understand what is going on outside of their little bubble. They don’t care that mommy needs to be in the kitchen alone to bake and cry. Or to sit in a corner with some yarn and knit and think. Which makes this whole grief thing impossible. How do I take time to grieve when I’m catering to a toddler? How do I take care of myself and my own needs?

I’m sneaking in knitting every chance I can get. 5 stitches here, 10 minutes there… whatever I can squeeze in to be that comfort I need right now. It’s not ideal, of course, but it kind of works.

Welcome

Pardon the garden. A phrase I’m most likely to utter anytime anyone visits the house during the growing seasons of spring through fall. Sure, there are pretty flowers and delicious veggies in there somewhere, but they might be a little hard to find amidst the mess of overgrown grass, dandelions, and weeds that have found their way in there and haven’t been pulled. Read On