If you’ve been following this blog for a while, you may remember a few posts I made that talked about the unique knife niche of “movie knives” that actually never appeared in the movies they are supposed to be from, such as the Punisher Sword, The Spider man Sword and Dagger, and, of course The Batman Sword…

Well, our enterprising movie knife creator, not content with laurel resting of any kind, probaly looked at the success of the Spiderman sword and dagger and thought “Well lessee here… What’s the latest greatest superhero movie that I haven’t fully exploited yet…?” Well… I’ll give you one guess what it was… Here’s a hint: The Joker is wild…

Yep, none other than the latest incarnation of the BATMAN franchise, The Dark Knight! Except for one little problem. They had already pimped a sword, Batman style, in his “honor”. There was nothing for it but to go all out and hope for the same “success” the had with the Spidey set… (or so I’m guessing) And thus was born…

Yes, ladies and germs, what we have here is the 100% bona fide reproduction of a dagger from the vault of Dark Knight himself, based on a movie weapon… That never was. Yeah… Kind of anticlimactic eh? Yes, I know…

Sadly, the pics do not show the blade itself, but the hilt is actually kind of interesting, if maybe a little too busy for my tastes… The guard is more or less a fancy, scaled down version of the Batman sword guard motif. The rest of it…? Heck If I know… The pic didn’t exactly give me much to work with… And Let me apologize in advance for the rant that must follow.

In all honestly, I think the aesthetics, (or lack thereof) of this piece (of “you know what”) is of little relevance compared to the sacrilege being committed here. Seriously. I can understand if someone creates a blade, calls it something unique, and says it was inspired by something else. But to blatantly put a big name on a nondescript blade? WTH!?!?

I mean, it reminds me of a couple of times when I bought what I thought was supposed to be the soundtrack to a movie on CD, only to discover that it didn’t have any of the actual songs from the movie on it. NOT ONE!. What kind of addle brained, dunder headed, cannabis induced nonsense is that? Last time I checked a soundtrack to a movie was supposed to actually have TRACKS FROM THE FREAKIN” MOVIE!!! Yes? OR am I taking crazy pills?!?! And what killed me was that this has actually happened to me more than once!!!

It might have been tolerable if any of the tracks on the stand ins were any good, but Noooo… They all had to be some garbage I really didn’t want to listen to… And blades like these are no better. There are a few that are actually not bad, (like the Punisher blade) but they were still not “the movie” blades, and should never have been called such.

Do so, and you are a blasted bald faced liar who should be strapped to a rack, and flayed with your own movie swords… (Perhaps you can tell that whole CD incident had me rather miffed…) Anyway, please people, If you’re gonna make a movie blade, either make an accurate reproduction of a BLADE THAT WAS ACTUALLY IN THE FREAKIN’ MOVIE, or call it something else…

Ok… I’m done. Dunno if the insurance is gonna cover all the flame damage that resulted from that rant, but it had to be done… My apologies, again, to the sensitive among you… 😛

2 Responses to “The Phantom Movie Knife Maker Strikes Again!!!”

Well I must say, at least from the hilt and sheathe it is really wicked cool looking, but completely stupid that they call it a “batman” dagger, when there is no such thing, Batman does not use a dagger.

As far as the music goes, what has happend to me, is I will get a CD that has the titile of the movie on the front of it in bigger letters, and coverart from the movie, and it will look like a sound track from the movie, but than in tiny little letters it will say “music inspired by”

True, you are correct I will admit that upon detailed inspection of the jewel case art, (often requiring with a magnifying glass), the words “Msic inspired by” can be found on those CD’s of loathesome infamy. It’s still rather annoying.

However no such disclaimer is ever posted on blades. And even if they could be, it would still be a travesty… Bah humbug… 😛