November 26th, 2005

day 18 @ 10:47 pm

but... seeing that i'd drunk a half bottle of wine.. and read through my journal to remind me of my lustAND had already walked outside..why would i let a gate stop me?

i sized up the fenceand... thought it passable

though, wearing a poncho..

i jumped up on the cement wallgrabbed the top bar of the fenceand pulled myself upoverlet myself down gently..

perfect height for me, really..

ahhhthe windthe rain

i put my hand in the hand-holds on the wall...feeling..

i really had to piss..so i found the phallus that i had righted that morningand pissed at its base... as an offering of course...

then i stood in front of the phallus altarand opened my fly..-- using the memory of walter and greg and felix that i had written about was good enough to get me therebut i wanted it to be more consciousso i climbed up on the back of the altarand undid my pants fullyplacing my balls in the crevice of the glans...the cold stone, the hot flesh

i listened to the windthe rainthe night sounds...

connected myself with the sky and the earth..the past and the present

homagehonor...to give life...and cary it on.

left handright handvacillating between memories and intentionsi got myself thereholding on with one hand or the other to the head of the stonebuckingsquirtingcollapsing over

Great.

what a good thing to do before sleep...

and was it that ritual...or the half bottle of wine that made me feel so tired this morning?

i did some yoga

stood in the shower a long time

sat down with about 10 minutes leftto eat some fruit: banana, pineapple and papaya

talking with Walter...

noticed the big french guy with the curled mustache, shaved head, glassesred shirti wanted his picture..so i kinda followed him out of the dining roomsnapped a few pics of his backgot my stuff together from my roomand posed as if i were waiting for someone ( i was )to get some more pictures of the front of him..i didn't really get any good onesand he looked at me just as much as i looked at him... and i think his wife was suspicious...

we got on the busand headed out of town

the day was heavy and greythe road was bumpywe all seemed out of sorts (as we have every morning here)and were pretty quiet...

Sulema told us what a few things were.. i just couldn't get my self interested.

went by a cattle marketwhere all the locals come to sell their cattle, alpaca, sheep, pigs, etc.."we don't keep money in the bank," she said, " we keep money in our animals."

we stopped off at some old church or otherribbons hanging from the ceiling for some anniversary celebration

we drove on..to the boarder of Peru/Boliviaon a peninsula

we had to check ourselves out of peruwalk across the borderthen check into Bolivia

they tried to give us hassle for only coming for the day, saying we'd have to pay a fine if we weren't staying over night...we were checking ourselves in (our Bolivian guide hadn't shown up yet and our two Peruvian guides were not allowed to be guides here)so Elizabeth played Hard-Bitch and told them we'd just leave if they wanted to be like that.it only took them a second to decide.

once throughi exchanged a $20 bill for about 157 Bolivianos... and bought some chocolate with it..a Snickers for Jimand some other random things i'd never heard of before for the rest of us..

why do they need to put Partially Hydrogenated Oil in chocolate bars?kinda grossi'm glad i didn't eat them all by myself

she said"first, we'll go to the highest point so we can get a good view of Copacabana"

which she explained was not its real namebut something that sounded similar..all the names here were something differentthat the spanish changedto make them easier to say..

the original name meant "the first/best view of the sea"and similarlake TitiKakaused to be "TitiKala"which meant "puma's head"

all well and goodbut we never made it to the highest point:the bus died.

the driver started it back upmade it another ten feetthen it died

tried againanother 5 feetdead.

ohbut it's not overthis went on about 12 times...eventuallywe decided we'd had enoughwe all got offto let him turn around ...Except Jim

why bother?

i was just feeling silly..we saw the view of the city enough..anywayif we got much higherwe'd be in the clouds..

we got back on the busand rode back down the hillinto the citythrough narrow streetspast vendorschurchesto the restaurant we'd have our lunch at..

filled with touristsWalter ordered the same thing for all of usi got him a local beercoz he'd never had it..

it was a terrible beer...

the chili sauce was strong, thoughand the fish was alrightsoup was ... yeah

it was fillingand when we were having fun... all of us were glad today was going so terribly: it gave us a great contrast to show how the rest of the trip had gone so smoothly and wonderfully.

and while we were eating and having this conversation..the sun had come out..and somewhereour guides had found a Bolivian guide..

surehe couldn't speak englishand they pulled him out of his classroom where he taught Artbut now we had one..

we walked up to the squareto the Black Madonna church..

everything in this town was owned by one guy..the bussesthe churchthe hotels..

this church was completely remade a little over ten years ago..for the tourists...

coz madonna wasn't blackand there were a million copies of herwith enough donations of costumes (they changed her clothes three times a year: never repeating a costume) to last her for 32 years...... get into heaven..

every day they have a blessing of the cars..Twice.

the street in front of the church was filled with vendorsselling toy cars, houses, shops, grain, babies, crosses..anything you might want in your lifebuy the iconand have the priest bless it..but it wasn't just the priest blessing itit was also a local Shaman

Yeah..

i left the tour pretty quicklyJim hardly went along with it at allsitting in the square..watching..

i did follow them into a candle hall, thoughsmelled like urine-- disfigured homeless people at the gate

it was all painted blacklooked like a subway tunnel... or a converted one: a bar from the 80'scandles everywhereand luminescent blue madonna at the end.

...we saw the cars being blessed...i took some pictures of the fat guys..then went to buy hats... i got three different varieties for 100Bolivianos...after shopping around a bit..i was quite pleased..

and it was time to go..no icecream for us, though we triedthe day had got hot and sunnyhow nice..but it was back to the busback to the boarderback through the checkpointsback into Peruback on our buss (more pictures of fat guys first)then on our way back to the Hotel.

such a bumpy roadbutdamn the lake looked prettywe got out on a cliff and stared at it a bit... almost like an ocean..but mountains over there...and fish farms.

we let the vibration of the road lull usbut no one could sleep on that road

and back at the hotelmost packed their bagsi scrambled to copy pictures onto Metche's computerand burn a copy of Pancho's pictures...while writing the first half of this entry..

then Dinnerfilling and overflowing as always... we felt like a family at this pointall of us talking about our pros and cons of the tripmore pros, reallyso appreciative of eachotherand Walterdeciding it was time to go to bed... or over to the party at the new hotel down the street owned by this same company..

Elizabeth & Dietmar and Judy & i walked over with Walter..got shown around the hotelbeautifyfancy decorations...with little attention to detail:in the fine wood panel finishall of the black speed screws they had used to fix them were visibleeverywhere..

the cheap plywood (ceiba?) along the stairs... stapled on..

but beautiful rooms!beautiful view!the same band that was playing last nightplaying down stairs in the dining roombut dressed much nicerall black and white

we sat upstairs on the large couchesgiven free drinkspisco sourmuncha sour (mint)something other... that tasted like Eggnog (i got that one)

and i really felt it was not my sceneso after talking with Judy about her relatives and friends... and minewe headed back up the hillhuffing and puffingto our hotel.

i got back to the room just after Jim had layn down , i guesshe told me i could turn the light on..so i didand packed my things..then took off my clothesand lay down to rest..

but i couldn't..the fertility temple was calling to me again...

i got back upput my clothes back on.. having packed my ponchoi put on my heavy shirtand went out into the night..

not rainy this timei was invisibleno one could see me...i went to the same gatelockedsame fencejumped itthe same wayand walked towards the temple

feeling it out more this timeresonatingfeeling the stonestaring at the starsactually seeing themfor the first time on this trip.. still, many yellow lights around me..but it's the best view i've had..and is that the southern cross?

is that orion?what's he doing down here?

where is the Puma's Jism?

i took my pants down and sat on the small phallus in front of the altarplacing my cock in the crevice at the base of the penis, this timeworking with just the feeling of being therewith the energythe connection to the skyearthpastpresentfuture..

working myself upinto an offeringgrasping at the shaftkissing it

and saying good night

appreciative

i sauntered down the stairsacross the yardand jumped a different part of fence.. it was just like a ladder

and the big black dog, Ponchowas barking at mehe and his friend attacked melicking mehumping mebiting at methen eachothersurrendering to a growling mess at my feetas i passed them byback into the hotel

no one looking at me

back in the roomi washed my handstook off my clothesand lay down in bedhaving done my best