Somewhere in the ass end of somewhere, there's a lush, green and blue planet. A trail of fire and destruction leads to said planet and ends in a giant crater in the middle of the single, massive super continent that dominates the bits of the planet not underwater. Two figures had then brofisted, high-fived, glared, and then walked out of the crater and off in opposite directions to plot each others downfall.

And now one of them, the one known as Grammer, was hunched in a tree high off the ground and looking at a huge heard of four-legged herbivores. Since it was an apocalypse since last he had eaten, he really could do with some. He was aware that there were other hunters around, but didn't really care. If they came in his way, he would just have to annihilate them, wouldn't he?

The closest dino died before it had a chance to register any danger, the second had time to turn its head before a knife sliced open its gut. In a matter of seconds, the entire herd was dead and on fire. The barbecue could be smelt for miles.

((OOC: In short. Those of you who want to be on my side, come to the BBQ.))

Logged

Cute: Anything that will bring a horrible death upon unwanted visitors.

You know when they warn you about some crazy showing up here? That's me they're talking about. Tea?

Darth Nerd was sitting on the bridge of his Super Star Destroyer, The Exanimus, eating bacon and watching the crew scurry around below him when suddenly the enormous ship gave a lurch and dropped out of Hyperspace.

"What in the hell is going on!?" Nerd yelled at the admiral of his fleet, a Twi'lek named Chell, who was standing below him on the bridge. A small blue-green planet could be seen ahead of them. The viewscreens enlarged the planet showing a large crater in the main landmass that had obviously just happened recently.

"I'm sorry my Lord it seems something has pulled us out of Hyperspace. The rest of the fleet is nowhere in sight though and our communications aren't working. We have no idea what is going on. The only thing nearby is that small planet ahead of us," Chell said wringing his hands nervously.

"Well then find out what happened. I will need a contingent of troopers and droids. I'm taking a trip to the surface of that planet. Perhaps something down there is keeping us in normal space. You are in charge while I am gone. Try to find out where the rest of the fleet is and get them back here. I sense something through the Force. A deep evil even more ancient than the Dark Side. It seems to be coming from that planet," Darth Nerd said. He then spun on his heel with his cloak flaring behind him over his battered red and black Mandalorian armour. As he left the bridge his personal guard filed out behind him. They were dressed in uniforms nearly identical to those worn by the Imperial Guards under that fool Palpatine but Nerd's guards wore black as opposed to red. They also all carried lightsabers and were Dark Jedi personally trained by Nerd though not nearly as powerful and none worthy of becoming his true apprentice.

Nerd stopped by his room and grabbed his helmet as well as his blaster and extra lightsaber. It never hurt to be prepared. He then headed for the hanger bay. When he arrived a platoon each of droids and clone troopers stood ready for departure. They had only to board the ships behind them and they could be off. Nerd signaled for them to do so then leaped into the cockpit of his own modified, red X-Wing starfighter. The six members of his guard all climbed into their own black X-Wings then the ships all lifted off and headed for the planet.

Then , as the sun stood high on the sky , a single Human rose from the scorched earth within the crater, badly burnt and dying from the impact.*What the Duce?As it fell too the ground several identical copies off the first one rounded up around him.They were all dressed in the same clothing raincoats ,gasmasks . cargo pants army boots and combat gloves ,the only thing that differed them from one and other was a marking on their Gasmasks ,it was numbers as the former Number one died , it's number left the mask and almost instantly took up residence on the closest clone,Thereby the transfer was completed and Mpra , was ready for the battle within a new body, As his minions was a copy of himself ,all with their own minds they could complete tactics none other being was capable of all through the aid of a hive-mind like sense within them.The Hive-Mind connected to a controll station hidden deep within the planet where Cloning vats is mass producing more fighters for the front.They grabbed their weapons, all ranging from rifles to sledgehammer to lightsabers.They mounted Dino's and other creatures, They piloted Tanks and planes , They captained Ships and submarines, they stole candy from daycare homes, They went to a zoo, They ate ice-cream and cookies..as their hunger was quenched by sugar and additive material, They began to feel hate. HATE towards every other being on the planet.It was time for warAnd there could be only one outcome

*Because of a large burning bird some of the replicated army's fighters brings firetrucks*

« Last Edit: October 09, 2009, 02:45:30 pm by mineplantingrunaway »

Logged

Common sense? , worthless things like those i have not had for as long as i can remember.

A large bird seemingly made of flame was seen circling the recently made crater. It had watched the two figures crash-land, and then part ways. It wondered what these two figures were up to, and what had brought them here. Well, whatever it was, it seemed something interesting was happening. Which was a good thing, it had been bored lately. The only problem was, it wasn't sure which one would prove more interesting. It stopped circling and landed at the edge of the crater to stop and think. The smell of food cooking was wafting from the direction one of the figures had went, so it decided to head that way.

A herd of herbivorous dinosaurs were grazing peacefully on a wide open stretch of grassland when a loud crack broke through the air and a large gash appeared in the air. The air split open, creating a doorway to somewhere. From within the door came the loud crash of metal on metal as figures began to emerge into the sunlight of the grasslands. An army of armored badgers riding upon armored giant anteaters marched forth into the world, startling the dinosaurs away.

At the head of the army was a man clad in full armor (sans a helmet) with a large sword strapped to his back nearly the same height as the man beneath a deep red cape riding on a giant giant anteater."Lieutenant!" the man shouted as one of the badgers rode over to the man. "Yes lord?" it replied. "Lieutenant," the man said again. "This is the world where the origin of that signal we received came from right?""Yes lord," the badger replied. "A signal registering at a 5342 on the galactic seismic graph, Armageddon class.""Well then, we better go and check out what caused this," the man said and unsheathed his sword. "Onward troops, may whatever we find ahead of us fear the name of Raryn the Badgerlord!"

A soft rumble off in the distance became a deafening symphony of men, each marching in lockstep timed to the movement of the man at the front of this army. "We are on the right planet are we not leftenant O'Conner?" The man spoke softly, his black body armor gleeming in the sun's glare. As he took in a breath of air, the rebreather strapped to his face came to life with a raspy low pitched howl; the sound alone made the leftenant stutter briefly. "Y-y-y-y-yes Commander this is the r-r-r-right planet were we detected the anomaly, s-s-s-shall I dispatch a group of our scouts?" The man stopped and at that instant the army came to a full stop, their boots hitting the ground with such strength that the trees and rocks shook. "No there is no need, I'll go with my elite red sabre guard." The commander took a deep breath and again, the rebreather made another raspy little howl that made the leftenants hair stand on end.

The commander rose his hand and ten men each wearing a faceless mask of such a dark hue that they didn't reflect the light cast upon them so much as the masks devoured it. The armor they wore bared an exact resemblance to the commander's with the small exception of a pair of red sabers etched into the armor's chest piece and on their back's rested a pair of sword hilts, nothing more nothing less. "Set up a temporary camp, while we eleven men find this anomaly."

"You heard the commander. Set up camp, he's given us a short reprieve from our endless march and you would do well to enjoy it while it lasts." As soon as the leftenant turned back around, the commander and his hand picked cadre of ten elites were gone, stalking off into the lush green jungle to find this anomaly as was the way of the commander and may hell have mercy on those who cross his path.

From the depths of outerspace came what seemed to be a slithering body of black. It slipped through space and time, reaching the planet that the anomaly was reported, along with military factions and creatures of all types gathering around said planet. The space-black snake was nearing the planet, when from inside the occupants could see it all. The leader was a creature that could be depicted as and resembles the Egyptian god, Anubis. The only difference being was that the creature was wearing heavily cast lead and gold armor, with demonic and dark aspects like spikes and the lead was painted a dark red. The tall creature, named Jackal Afreeka, sat in a wispy black throne in the center of the vessel. Among him were thirteen cloaked and masked figures, all masks depicting a creature from the universe. The ones in the far end of the space snake had masks like human beings, that had yet come to be on the planet below.

A figure with a horned mask approached Jackal.

"My Lord, we have spotted a fleet of Darth Nerd's ships. Should we engage?"

"No, no need to fight. Not yet, anyway. We are here to establish ourselves as gods and the first intelligent races on this planet. And in some time soon, to fight. But right now, we must wait for The Great Devourer to appear. Already, we know him as Criccthulu, but I have yet to spot him again. Keep your watch for the The Great Devourer. Until then, keep the Graak Snake in close proximity to the fleet and the planet below. I need time to meditate and relax. Everyone else should do the same."

The horned figure nodded and returned to his seat. They all were nervous, except for Jackal, who was grinning to himself. He knew that not all of them survive this war, and that who ever did would be forced to fight each other for rule over the planet. The events would unfold, just as was prophesized back on his home planet. This world would be the last chance for the races of the men and women on the snake vessel, for every single race had failed to live in unity and they have destroyed much of their galaxy.

The Graak lessened the distance between the planet and the Imperial space fleet.

High in the sky, a solitary black bird flew. It circled above the crater a few times, then passed over the site of the barbecue. It took in every detail, then flapped away. Seamus had some news for his master.

Shortly after his winged friend had scouted the scene out, a rather hairy chap, festooned with weapons and wearing chainmail, made his way through the forest, a large sack slung over his back. It clinked every now and then. He was engaged in amiable conversation with a young woman in leather armour who looked like she could be his sister. The only thing that might cause one to think before making this assumption was that she had wings. He, on the other hand, did not.

Eventually they reached the site where the once-mighty beasts were being roasted. Kyrie, the lass, waved at Grammer. Cheez, the bloke, called out "Alright mate? Mind if we join you? I've got bread and mead, you're welcome to share it!"

Seamus swooped down and landed on the sack. He hopped from foot to foot and triumphantly announced "KAW!"

Grammer was busy with eating a leg when two figures and a bird appeared and called out to him. A quick glance confirmed that none of them were the space people he had felt arriving, and they did not bear the stench of Criccthulhu. The lass waved at him. He waved back.

"Go ahead, help your self," he said, and gestured around with a thighbone that dwarfed him. "As you can see, there's plenty to go around."

Since he was finished with the dino he had been eating and wasn't really able to start on a new one just yet, he patted himself down to check his weapons. Parrying dagger and the Lifestealer were where they should be, assorted throwing knives were all over, a metal fan he had picked up somewhere was tucked up his left sleeve. And a paper fan, about as long as his arm, was in a hidden pocket in his coat. He pulled it out. There could now be no doubt that Cricco would get a thwacking.

"Is it wrong of me to want to beat people people to death with a harisen?" he asked himself, before wandering towards the new arrivals to confirm that mead bit.

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Cute: Anything that will bring a horrible death upon unwanted visitors.

You know when they warn you about some crazy showing up here? That's me they're talking about. Tea?

"Is it wrong to want to beat people to death with anything?" Cheez asked, raising an eyebrow.

He then put the sack on the ground, Seamus hopping off of it just beforehand. It fell open to reveal many bottles of golden liquid. Their labels revealed that they were indeed mead. Cheez and Kyrie took and opened a bottle each. Then nomming and drinking commenced.

The phoenix dropped out of the sky and landed in a clearing before it was within sight of the figures at the barbecue. The fire dissipated when the bird touched the ground, and a boy, no taller than four feet, with short black hair and gray eyes was standing in its place. He was wearing worn, and slightly burnt, leather clothes. He had a self bow across his chest, a belt quiver full of metal arrows, and a knife. He stretched for a while, and then started running towards the smell of the food. Not too long afterwords he slowed down, and walked the rest of the way, stopping before he was out in the open, and watched the figures gathering, particularly the one with wings.

The soft sound of footsteps, confirmed the arrive of Commander Zedriel and his personal bodyguard at the Barbeque. "May we join you?" He spoke up softly, taking off the re-breather revealing a scarred visage of a man who's seen one to many wars in his lifetime. "You must be the anomaly my men detected while we were making our way through a slipspace portal." He spoke with little emotion beyond amusement, upon finding someone this powerful in existence. "Of course, we will need alot more food. I've got a small army nearby, and I'm sure they must be pretty hungry by now."

Suddenly , a few of the Mpra's clones emerged from their burrows .They surrounded the barbeque, without alerting any of the unaware consumers of flesh they crawled closer and closer,As the raw smell of burnt flesh filled their noses.

Suddenly Nr.1 appered seemingly out of nowhere just behind the large being which seemed to be the strongest of the invading forces.

The being refereed to as Nr.1 removed the lower part of his mask reveling a small human jaw filled with sharp teeth.

Nr.1 spoke *For traveling through space and time you seem like rather... barabaric races.Nr.1 looks on the raw unrefined meat , smirks*I would have thought that space faring beings would at the least use spices to prepare their food.

Could we also ask you not to kill of more of those creatures, their race is already endangered , and someones crashing into the planet didn't help their repopulation.

We keep , some lowly race of breeded cat's , and dog's which are used for meat on this planet.

Seeing as they reproduce and becomes mature quickly they are a fine source of food.

Mpra's clones hastily drags away any living dinosaur from the vicinity,They also leave several plates and containers stuffed with "meat".

You should enjoy these, And i do not want to se any of you harm any more of these creatures.

Mpra turns around and faces Grammer*

And i have heard of your deeds before, note that destroying this planet or completely making it void of life is out of the question, Be my guest and kill of the other scum,but when you are done, Leave.

Turns and face the rest of the crowd*Unfortunately your several search partys and raiders may not return to their bases tonight.

mpra walks into a tunnel and dissapears.

As a few guards from the assembled encloses on the cave it abruptly collapses*

Logged

Common sense? , worthless things like those i have not had for as long as i can remember.

Then more people started appearing. There was the Phoenix in the woods, but as he didn't attack, Grammer figured he could be ignored, at least for the next few minutes. And there was the matter of the military unit marching up and asking for food.

"Feel free to dig in," Grammer told them. "But you're telling me a herd of about a hundred multi-ton creatures, all nicely barbecued, won't be enough to feed your people for a while?"

And to make matters worse, the masked locals appeared. And gave a rather ridiculous speech, before they disappeared, taking with them a minor fraction of the perfectly done meat. He used the shadows in the Earth to track their route. Seemed like a bunch of guys it would be fun to play with later.

Finally, the matter of the Phoenix person. He stepped behind himself and disappeared, only to reappear, sitting, next to the Phoenix. "You're welcome to join us, you know," he said, and then got himself back to the food, the same way he had left it.

Logged

Cute: Anything that will bring a horrible death upon unwanted visitors.

You know when they warn you about some crazy showing up here? That's me they're talking about. Tea?

"I'm sorry I just keep forgetting that where I come from, roughly a few hundred thousand men is considered a small army. Right now I had roughly a quarter of them with me, the rest are in orbit on a few dozen of my diablo class cruisers. But I digress a good guest would bring gifts, one moment." Zedriel punched a few things into a wrist mounted computer and in moments, seven large containers that could hold half a dozen people appeared side by side they began to open revealing smaller crates.

Two of the containers were labeled as holding alcohol, the rest had munitions, food and one of them had a nice supply of explosives. Of particular note, were the gravity bombs being held in the back by a stasis field. "Please, accept this gift. We have several crates of high quality spirits. Explosives, which are always fun and the food stuffs; of particular interest is the elephant. I hope this appeals to your sense of good taste."

He paid no attention to these masked baffoons. They weren't even worthy of a second glance personally he'd have obliterated them right now, but maybe later he could use them for some tests with the gravity bombs.

Before long the rest of Zedriels troop arrived, cutting down several groupings of trees to make a more effective camp the clearings were no where near Grammer and Zedriel. Each grouping could hold roughly two hundred people. Once the some twenty five thousand men got settled in, they began radioing for defensive emplacements; nothing more then eight foot tall steel barrier walls, one or two watch towers per cluster and the occasional pulse turret with a three hundred and sixty degree axis.

"Guess they couldn't wait, but they are fast at setting up their camps and barracks, quick and quiet too and they mostly use the planet's natural resources to set it up, building walls and using the metal barriers as support that's when they began to really get to work because you can't have an army without happy, well rested soldiers."