Work is completed…. dinner is consumed… and Ant’s basketball game has been attended

Done

Now I can relax…

and this is what relaxation looks like, to me…

Facebook/Twitter/WordPress/Email

Heaven

I always manage a chuckle or two over the junk mail, received to my AOL mail account…

Let’s take a gander at tonight’s winners…

First off, feel free to grin at my monkeys.. they love the attention

I will have to ask that you refrain from attempting to feed them, though… mainly due to the fact that I don’t want to see you complaining on Facebook about having to clean mashed banana off your computer monitor…. or iPhone

Moving on…

#1- Lint Lizard vacuum thing… probably from the makers of the Pajama Jeans and the Split Ender… I think I’ll pass

#2- Shit… I TOTALLY forgot that today was the day when my special diplomat was going to arrive at the airport!!! How could I be so absent-minded? Hubs is never going to let me live this one down… especially considering this diplomat apparently has $1.7M, which he is ready to hand over… because I’m awesome…. and he probably likes my blog, or something… Thank goodness they gave me the dude’s phone number. Crisis averted.

#3- I think they’re calling me fat. Assholes.

#4- Would anyone like me to forward them my unwanted collection of 50+ singles… I’m married and looking at singles could possibly make my eyeballs bleed… Hubs told me so and I will not take my chances!

#7- Maybe I should write them back and inform them that I have found an even BETTER way to reduce local and long distance phone bills… by getting rid of our phone. Top That!

#8- Window replacement, blahblahblah… you’re boring me…

#9- This is roughly the 897th request from JC Penney for me to complete their survey. They will not win! I denounce this survey!

DENOUNCE!

…and they’re even trying to trick me… I have not taken the damned survey… what the heck are you thanking me for?

denounce.

#10- 500 business cards for $1.99 … I doubt that I even know 500 people who would accept a business card from me… and the ones that WOULD accept the card would most likely end up picking at their teeth, after lunch, with the corners…

This isn’t my first rodeo… I know how business cards work

So, nothing too special in my junk mail….

Let’s take a quick glance at what phrases brought people to my blog, today…

ummmm…

I think, at some point in time, I’m going to end up having to apologize to a rural colony of Beliebers….

But really? Someone out there actually searched for “how-to” instructions regarding writing Justin Bieber’s name in bubble letters?