I used to do it every year. Then I stopped. Last weekend, however, I was drawn to make New Year’s resolutions.

It felt really good to list them: Write another book. Create a home study course. Visit my kids more frequently. Get away with my hubby. Yoga class at least 3 times a week.

But when I reviewed the list, I was surprised by my reaction. Instead of being pumped up, I felt uninspired. Huh? These were things I deeply desire, achievements that would surely feed my soul. Why wasn’t I excited?

I remembered a line from A Course in Miracles: “Seek not outside yourself…for you will surely fail.” In other words, I’ll never find what I really want if I keep looking for it ‘out there’ or stipulating where to find it.

Then I have a flash back. New Year’s Eve, 1995. At the top of my list: Finish my first book. Not because I enjoy the writing. But as a published author, I’ll finally feel important. Two years pass. I walk by a bookstore, see my book in the window, and wait to feel important. The feeling never came.

Looking back at that memory, I realize that what I’m wanting isn’t actually a tangible goal. It’s how I want to feel once I attain it.

I make a brand new list: To savor the gratification and joy writing gives me. To relish in the pleasure of working with my team in the creation of something new. To spend more time immersed in the love of my family. And to feel connected to my soul, healthy in my body and experience extended periods of inner peace.

Reading these now, I feel energized, excited for whatever unexpected events or unimagined opportunities the universe may bring.

What if you did the same? Rewrite your resolutions, listing the feelings you wish to experience without insisting you know how to find them, Share your thoughts below.

Wishing you all a wonderful holiday and a healthy, happy, prosperous new year. I’ll be back in 2019.

Last week, I heard from a client who was close to tears. Her husband’s business unexpectedly went belly up. Suddenly, they had no income. She was forced to get a higher paying job.

“Do you think this crisis has anything to do with my
decision to make more money and my lack of action?”she asked.

Obviously, it was a rhetorical question.

I see this pattern all the time. Women who avoid money—making it or managing it—until a crisis hits. Either their world falls apart or feels like it’s about to. That’s when they finally take action.

I did it myself. I waited until a million dollar tax bill almost wiped me out. Not smart!!

How about you? Are you avoiding financial stuff until the pain gets worse than the fear? Are you looking for a way to get moving without having your world violently (or even mildly) shaken?

If so, try this exercise. It’s called Selective Attention,a powerful tool for rewiring your brain. Focus on what inspires you and stop dwelling on what scares you. It’s a fact: What flows through your mind wires your brain…which governs your behavior.

To change what you do, first change what you think.

Instead of obsessing on all the things that can go wrong, try turning your thoughts to what more money will give you. Think about the freedom, the peace of mind, the myriad of choices financial success makes possible. Think about giving your money to causes you feel passionate about,helping your kids, your parents, people you love.

That’s what I finally did. I started thinking about what kind of a role model I wanted to be for my daughters instead of fixating on my terror of screwing up. When I made that deliberate shift, when I forced myself to think about how I would be helping my girls, I had no choice…financial avoidance was no longer an option! I’d love to hear other ideas for getting unstuck. What worked for you? Leave me a comment below.

My gift to you…get my free pdf 12 Tips for Building Wealth During the Holidays.Download Now!

Every time you buy anything—a holiday gift or a cup of coffee—jot down the item and the amount…at the time of purchase.Otherwise, receipts pile up and it feels overwhelming.

Believe me, tracking is not just for those with limited means. Tracking is a powerful consciousness raising and potentially life changing tool. It reveals a lot more than where you can shave and save.

For one thing, the numbers tell a story about your life. For example, when you look at where you aren’t spending—say vacations, doctor visits or new underwear—do you see where you may be depriving yourself?

When you look at where you are spending,do your purchases reflect your values, what’s really important to you? Or are you trying to fill a hole in your soul that no amount of ‘stuff’ will ever fill.

Furthermore, tracking has a ripple effect.There was a fascinating Australian study where participants wrote down every purchase, with surprising results.

Not only did their financial lives improve, but they also smoked and drank less, ate less junk food and even found they were more productive.

“As people strengthened their willpower muscles in one part of their lives — in the gym, or a money management program — that strength spilled over into what they ate or how hard they worked,” the study discovered. “Once willpower became stronger, it touched everything.”

Tracking your spending, it turns out, is a great gift to give yourself this holiday season.

My gift to you…12 Tips for Building Wealth During the Holidays—Download Now!

Have you noticed, in gyms, when guys are lifting really heavy weights, they ask someone, often a perfect stranger, to spot them?

How many times have you seen a woman do that? Hardly ever! We’ll hire trainers. But ask another to spot us? Unthinkable.

I always thought this scenario was a perfect metaphor for how many women tend to approach life. Here’s why:

1st, we rarely lift very heavy weights.

2nd, we don’t want to bother anyone.

3rd, we’re determined to do it alone.

Yet, to achieve success, in anything, requires us to lift heavier weights. This is how we build up confidence and strength to climb to greater heights.

And we can’t do it alone. We need spotters—people we trust to have our backs, to encourage us when the going gets tough or high-five us when we finally lift that heavy weight.

Seven years ago, I shared my gym observation with a friend, Suzy Carroll, who, being the leader she is, formed a spotters group with four of us. What a remarkable experience it’s been.

Once a month, we gather after work, or lately, on the weekends, at someone’s house. Each one takes her turn, sharing what’s on her mind, be it a troublesome situation or a thrilling victory. The others offer loving support, candid feedback, often relating their own similar experiences.

Our meetings usually last about two hours. We don’t leave without setting another date when we’re all available. Not an easy task for busy women, but we’ve made it work.

It’s been incredible to witness how each of us has grown, in ways we could never have imagined at the outset. And we know, with utter certainty, we would’ve never progressed this far alone.

I heartily encourage you to form your own spotters group. I swear…it’s truly life changing.

Do you have a support group you’re part of? Tell me about it below.

Looking for support? I created my virtual community, The Wealth Connection to support women in their financial journey. Join today and hop on my Live Office Hours Call! www.husonwealthconnection.com

I intended to write this blog on a completely different topic. But as my hands hit the keys, I heard a voice in my head (honestly!): “If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you…that will be enough.”

I felt that Meister Eckhart was sending me a message (and maybe you too), which I imagined went like this: “Toss the original topic. Focus on giving thanks. Stop looking at what you lack (as I tend to do). Instead, appreciate the abundance you have….and those who’ve made it possible”

So today, in the spirit of Thanksgiving and a 13th century mystic, I’m taking this opportunity to say Thank You…

…to all of you who are reading this blog, even if it’s the only time you ever do, I truly appreciate you reading it today.

…to everyone who’s ever written to tell me how my work has impacted your life, you have no idea how your words have impacted mine. In fact, your notes and emails are hanging on my office walls.

…to anyone who’s bought my books and perhaps passed it onto a friend, this means more to me than you can ever know.

…to those of you who’ve joined my groups or signed up for coaching, I’m endlessly grateful you trusted me to guide you while teaching me to be a better guide.

…to my amazing team—Lynda Jo, Carney, Jen & Ben—for taking care of all the details I abhor and for supporting me in such a deeply loving way. I really would be lost without each of you.

…to my ex who gambled away my inheritance and my father who wouldn’t lend me money, you taught me that, indeed, the obstacle is the path, leading me straight to my life’s purpose.

…to my wonderful financial team, because even if my portfolio is currently down a bit, it’s dramatically higher than 20+ years ago when I first found you.

…to my kids, grandkids and stepson who are traveling on the busiest days of the year to spend Thanksgiving with us. Truly, my cup runneth over.

…to my beloved husband who rarely lets a day pass without expressing his love, appreciation and support for me.

Once again, from the bottom of my heart…THANK YOU ALL!

I’d love to know who’d you like to thank this holiday season. Leave me a comment below.

Give yourself the gift of community this holiday season. Join my new virtual community The Wealth Connection. It’s the place for women to come together to make the move from Stability to Affluence and find support every step of the way!

Today’s Words of Wealth are dedicated to all of us (yes, me included) who would never treat a friend the way we treat ourselves…who have no idea what self-love actually looks like…who are painfully searching for, but never finding, self-acceptance.

I share with you “The Other Serenity Prayer*:

God, grant me the serenity to stop beating myself up for not doing things perfectly, the courage to forgive myself because I am working on doing better, and the wisdom to know that You already love me just the way I am. (Author Unknown)

*Thank you Joan Goldberg for sharing this with me! Please feel free to share this with others.

How do you show yourself love? Leave a comment below.

I’d love to share one way to show yourself self-love. Join me and an amazing group of women in my virtual community, The Wealth Connection.Learn More!

Excuse me while I vent. My insides are seething with rage and frustration. I write this to make sense of it all.

My fury was fostered during the 2016 election with the alarming rise of blatant misogyny, which despite #MeToo, continues to intensify.

It’s certainly not all men. But reading the news is both infuriating and deeply painful. I feel like my heart is being ripped from my chest every time I witness another woman being belittled, harassed, marginalized or disparaged.

As one who’s devoted my entire career to women’s liberation and empowerment, I feel inexpressibly sad. And deeply disturbed by what I see. Even Lean In author Sheryl Sandberg recently announced that women’s progress has essentially “dragged to a halt.”

And she issued a dire warning, reported in the Wall Street Journal: “We’re at a really critical moment. Women are entering the US workforce in the highest numbers in decades, but gender parity isn’t improving.”

Yes, we’re “liberated.” We’re free to work…or not. But alas (heavy sigh) we have yet to be respected, valued or treated as equals.

If, as Sheryl cautioned, this is a critical moment, what can I, what can we do?

The instant I asked that question, I heard Gandhi’s guidance. What if we, as individuals, intensify our efforts to become the change we want to see in the world?

What if we each focus on strengthening our own sense of self-respect by ceasing to belittle, marginalize, or disparage our self?

What if you and I genuinely valued all that we bring to the table, especially those gifts we take for granted? What if each of us commits to reaching our fullest potential, despite the obstacles and fears?

Is that the solution for transforming our divisive culture into one of mutual respect? I have no idea. But it’s a place to start. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this issue. Leave me a comment below.

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The stock market took quite a tumble last week. I instantly flashed back to October, 1986, the first time I invested on my own. My broker would send me all these reports and statements, which I didn’t understand, so naturally, I threw them away.

A year later, October 1987, the market crashed…big time! I freaked out, called my broker, insisted he sell everything. He begged me not to.

“The market will go back up,’ he said, “It always does.”

Of course, I didn’t listen. I wanted my money in cash, where it was ‘safe.’ Sure enough, within days, the market rocketed back up. If I stayed put, I’d be a lot richer now. But I learned my lesson.

Fast forward, 10 years later. October, 1997. My book—Prince Charming Isn’t Coming—had been published. I knew a hell of a lot more about investing. The market crashes again almost to the day.

This time, I’m on the phone, first thing in the morning, calling Schwab. My now 2nd ex-husband was upstairs, pacing the floor. He got very nervous when stocks fell. My teenage daughter comes downstairs, sees me on the phone, asks me what I’m doing.

“I’m buying stock” I tell her.

“But Mom,“ she says, “The market’s crashing.”

“No, Anna” I say. ”It’s a sale!”

I had learned my lesson: Price swings only matters when you sell. Everything else is just ‘noise.’ You know, the sound of the market doing what markets are supposed to do… up, down, up, down, boing, boing, boing.

I finally understood that eventually the market would go back up. I didn’t know when, but I knew it would. It’s called the Rule of the Roller Coaster: You only get hurt when you jump off.

The goal of the Underearning Game is Not to Lose, which means you must focus on playing it safe, looking good and staying comfortable, avoiding anything that could possibly be scary, awkward, embarrassing or (gasp!) lead to failure.

The goal of the High Earning Game is To Win by going as far as you can with all that you’ve got. And when you fall down, you get back up and keep going. Which means, despite your fear, you keep playing full out.

Problem is, it can be tough to tell which game you’re playing. There are times when I swear I’m giving my all, but later it hits me. I was fooling myself by holding back (even just a tiny bit means I’m playing it safe).

So, I devised the following list to help assess if you’re really playing to win.

5 Signs I’m Playing Full Out (check what applies to you).

I know what I want and am committed to getting it. (And if I don’t know, I devote time and energy to figuring it out).

I’m so focused on my vision that I don’t get distracted (at least not for long) by irrelevant, draining, or conflicting tasks.

I’m willing to experience whatever it takes—defeat, discomfort, even humiliation—to achieve what I want.

I don’t say ‘yes’ when I really want to say ‘no,’ even if it means upsetting another.

Every time I’m afraid to do something, I force myself to do it anyway. (And I catch myself when I justify not doing it.)

I’d love to hear: How many did you check? Is there anything you’d add to this list? Leave a comment below.

If you enjoyed this Words of Wealth,click hereto receive a copy in your inbox every week.

Meet Barbara Huson

When a devastating financial crisis rocked her world, Barbara Huson knew she had to get smart about money… and she did. Now, she wants to empower every women to take charge of their money and take charge of their lives! She’s doing just that with her best-selling books, life changing retreats and private financial coaching.

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