Barack Obama, NASA, and the Hopelessness of Attempting to Satirize Him

By: Jim Byrd

The truth of the matter is, Barack Obama cannot be satirized. His character is in possession of a deftly insurmountable and impervious force-field, such that his being on the business-end of a joke is statistically improbable.

Sun Tzu, in The Art of War, describes one of the tactics for battle regarding the enemy: “If you are much weaker, evade them.” How can any comedian, humorist, or satirist assail, with the expectation of a well-received zinger, when they are the weaker opponents? How do you satirize someone who has manifested into a continuous exercise of self-parody? Obama has emerged as a headline grabbing, non-stop burlesque routine. His self-parody routine is not limited to just his antics, but his entire administration is an ensemble of harlequin jesters, and even encompasses the Apostle of Iniquity, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi.

There are two primary reasons humorists and satirists don’t spend much time deliberating Obama. First, they will always be behind the eight ball. As sure as they are putting the finishing touches on a paramount quip, a headline news story regarding Obama will surely appear, and preempt their pursuit. Example: Perhaps one was working on a satirical piece regarding Obama and his apologetic disposition to the Muslim world, then mid-script, this actual headline appears: Barack Obama re-Directs NASA Away From Space To Reach Out To The Muslim World. How do you follow that on stage? Especially with the fear a second headline appearing: Obama To Present Leaders Of The Muslim World With Pearl Handled Box Cutters. Second, with Obama’s pathological obsession and defense of Islam, one would have to be wary of ending up, as have Salman Rushdie, Kurt Westergaard (the cartoonist depicting Muhammad), or Geert Wilders (Dutch Politician who is not particularly fond of Islam), on the to-do list of infidels who need to be emancipated from their heads with a knife by a peaceful and loving agent of Islam.

For brevity’s sake, only Obama’s mandating NASA to reach-out to the Muslim world will be autopsied at this time, as the voluminous requirement to examine the entirety of Obama’s and his cabinet’s self-parodied aberrations in his first two years would be both time and cerebrally prohibitive.

Barack Obama directed the new NASA Administrator, Charles Bolden, to abate NASA’s Constellation program, which would have put our astronauts back on the moon, and he has asked, as was the Enterprise, NASA to go where no man has gone before: to a peaceful, fruitful, and beneficial relationship with the Muslim world. Obama believes, according to Bolden, that a better interaction with the Muslim world will advance our space travel. “It is a matter of trying to reach out and get the best of all worlds, if you will, and there is much to be gained by drawing in the contributions that are possible from the Muslim nations,” said Bolden. Bolden made the declaration while in the Middle East to Al Jazeera news agency.

Two questions instantly assailed my already gyrating speculations: why is the head of NASA in the Middle East on the behalf of Obama, and why is he being interviewed by Al Jazeera, the voice of terrorism?

Obama wants to help other countries start space programs, and he especially wants to partner with Indonesia. Bolden stated, “We really like Indonesia because the State Department, the Department of Education (and) other agencies in the U.S. are reaching out to Indonesia as the largest Muslim nation in the world.” This is an interesting statement regarding Obama’s stance on Indonesia considering the official position of the State Department seems to contradict his disposition: Due to the possibility of terrorist attacks directed against American or other Western citizens and interests, the Department of State urges American citizens to evaluate carefully the risks of travel to Indonesia. Yes, Indonesia is precisely the kind of country upon which we should be bestowing state-of-the-art rocket skills. Just imagine the wonderful possibilities if a nuclear Iran had the capability of launching a rocket thousands of miles with pinpoint accuracy.

The Obama machine’s modus operandi has attached itself to Bolden like a tick. Once the NASA/Muslim connection gained traction, professional prevaricator Robert Gibbs stated that Bolden was wrong about Obama directing NASA to reach-out to the Muslim world. Awkwardly for Obama, it is his and Gibbsâ€™ word, both of which are currency with no value, against the esteemed career and character of Charles Bolden, White House spokesman Nick Shapiro, and Rep. Pete Olson, the ranking Republican on the Space and Aeronautics House Subcommittee.

Shapiro, in a written statement, stated Obama, “…wants NASA to engage with the world’s best scientists and engineers as we work together to push the boundaries of exploration.” A large section of the world’s best scientists and engineers have been working effortlessly, at the behest of some empire that Obama adores, to devise a method of blowing the United States from the face of the earth, or at least into a nice state of submission. Exactly the type of partners in which all countries should invest. Islam’s greatest contribution to the civilized world in the past 30 years has been the perfection of roadside bombs, car bombs, and suicide bombers. I think the United States had enough of Islam’s own reaching out on September 11, 2001.

Olson confirmed that Obama told him last June that reaching out to the Muslim world would be NASA’s new objective. Olson said, â€œHe confirmed it to me.” Olson believes, regardless of what Obama or Robert Gibbs says, that was NASA’s objective until the “uproar” became viral; i.e., this caused Obama to duck for shelter, and called for the official bus to be brought forth for the Bolden throwing-under ceremony.

Charles Bolden has now been relegated to a very crowded place: under Obama’s bus.

With less than two years in office, Obama has displayed bizarre and pathological patronage for Islam and the Muslim world at the expense of the U.S. economy, America’s national security, and American sanctity. Asking NASA to reach out to the Muslim world is akin to Kennedy asking NASA to reach out to the U.S.S.R on May 25, 1961. During his speech at Cairo University last year–which was pregnant with unadulterated lies and anecdotes about the history and accomplishments of Islam–Obama stated the following: “The U.S. and Islam share common goals of justice and tolerance and the dignity of all human beings.” This being said about the peaceful religion that hacks off heads for sport, stones women and children to death, and relegates females to a status subordinate to farm animals, in the name of peace and harmony, of course.

So the question is not should NASA reach out to the Muslim world, but who will reach out for the American people to this analogous facsimile of the Muslim world residing at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue?