Top 5 Name Suggestions For that Dumb Owl

The other day an endangered owl who clearly didn’t realize it was endangered, did it’s best Rams offensive linemen impression and got its owl face smashed in by a fire truck in Wentzville, MO. The firemen said “Screw that. We’re not stopping. Owl wasn’t even on fire.” but when it got to where it was going, it realized the bird was stuck to their truck and then pretty much had to do something about it so it got a shovel and flicked it on the steps of a bird sanctuary. Maybe it didn’t happen exactly like that, but pretty close.

Anyway, now the people taking care of the bird want their names in the paper too, so they are suggesting a “Name the Bird” content. Sadly its not a poll, but something where they pick the best one which means it will end up being dumb like “Wentzvilly the Owl” or “Fire Bird”. Plus they don’t even know what gender the bird is…

One word of caution to contestants. Officials at the bird sanctuary said the sex of barred owls are difficult to determine, so while they think the injured owl is a male, they can’t be sure. Unisex names might be the way to go.

so that can only add to the suck.

That is just unacceptable. Here is what we have come up with

1. “Owlie McBeal”

2. “Owl Roker”

3. “Owl Qaeda” …because it attacked firemen.

4. “Stupid Owl”

5. “Owl Be Stuck in Wentzville Forever Now”

To make your suggestions head to www.wentzvillefirefighters.org which, coincidentally, is also the worst and oldest looking website ever, and makes you want to stab your eyes out with a 3.5 inch floppy disk and then go watch LA Law reruns with your good eye.