Post by GABFRAB on May 6, 2013 21:38:28 GMT -5

I live on Planet Craigslist. I come across scuzzy and wonderful posts there every day. Most of them have to do with indulging a fetish like being babysat as an adult or getting jerked off as ya guzzle breast milk. If I were a girl CL would've made me rich by now haha.

I've picked up work from CL, found apartments, gotten laid, and sold tickets last minute with no hassle. I've advertised as a guy who'll come to your yard in spring and shovel the accumulated dogshiz of winter. I've scooped up hitchers in my car who use it to find a place to sleep after I drop 'em off. It's a planet with many functions and wonderful oddities. Let's share some good CL findings. I'd suggest employing screencaps as the ads will eventually be flagged or expire and thus we'll lose our goofy archive.

Also, I troll on CL with ridiculous ads so let me start off with that:

The best responses:

1. "Hi I am Daniel and would love to come to your treehouse to eat your delicious s'more send a pic"

2. This guy sent a pic of a fat dude in his fifties surrounded by weights:"OMG..love to eat your p*ssy...until you cumm and cummm omg....wow.

3. "35yo, 210# 6'7", very fun guy to hang out with. I love making women scream for more. Especially if you got a s'more down there.

Brock"

4. "Hey babe, interesting fantasy, let me say that I am more than game to help you fulfill it... please let me know if my looks appeal to you; the pics are a few years old, so I'm 45 and have put on some weight in the past couple of years...thanks,-Marvin"

5. "Hi,29 swm, 6'3" dark hair, brown eyes, athletic build, good-looking and d/d free.I have to say this might be the greatest post I have ever seen.I would love to be your "Squints" and you can be my Wendy Peffercorn.I really would love to do this.

Ben"

6. "it's too bad i'm not pudgy. I am old tho. 49 white male. fit. loved the movie. love s'mores. love p*ssy even more. love making out even more than the rest. I live for goo. all of my favorite things together sounds like nirvana to me. fireplace good too."

7. "we had a treehouse in the woods when I was young"

8. This guy sent me a photo entitled "funeral." In it was a fiftyish dude at a funeral parlor in a suit with sunglasses hanging from the front pocket:"I will do it but you'd have to come to my place in Excelsior."

9. "I lost a good friend this week and it would be nice to have some fun"

Post by GABFRAB on May 8, 2013 0:35:20 GMT -5

All of the people who responded to that listing presumably live in the same county as me, which is frightening to say the least. Genius post though!

Those cold Hennepin nights breed lots of s'mores eaters.

Okay so this Shakespearean actor posts his ad almost every single day. I like how he plays up his hideousness and that he specifies his inability to get erect:

This gorilla also posts his ad every now and then. I suspect that he might be the dude from the first ad. Their physical aspects and fetish are similar, along with the way they format their paragraphs.

Sometimes he won't post for a few weeks which makes me think he finds someone to do the work. He used to be more self deprecating in his ad, talking about how gross his body is and that he'd sign wavers allowing himself to be filmed. I tried getting Madeline to stomp on him and let me record it while pointing a Big Mac container at that wondrous sight. Unfortunately it wasn't quite up her alley haha. If I were a chick I'd trample this poor dude til I punctured something that ain't meant to be punctured.

In my last apartment this girl who lived below me had parents who owned and S&M club. One of their regulars was a dude whose legs were amputated. His thing was getting trampled with high heels. They built a little box with hand rails for him to lay in as girls walked all over what little body he had left. My neighbor got to do that to him which I thought was badass. Again, if I were a girl I'd have made a fortune off CL by now.

What you got back home, little sister, to play your fuzzy warbles on? I bet you got little save pitiful, portable picnic players. Come with uncle and hear all proper! Hear angel trumpets and devil trombones. You are invited.

Post by FuzzyWarbles on May 8, 2013 11:10:07 GMT -5

What you got back home, little sister, to play your fuzzy warbles on? I bet you got little save pitiful, portable picnic players. Come with uncle and hear all proper! Hear angel trumpets and devil trombones. You are invited.

Post by Longinus on May 9, 2013 8:14:02 GMT -5

ok...this is not craigslist related, but I discovered this website recently and it has brought many lulz:okcgoldmine.com/Fans of this thread should appreciate it the most so I'm posting it here instead of creating a new thread or letting it get buried in random thoughts thread.Forgive me if it has already been posted on this forum somewhere and I missed it.

edit:also this one got me the hardest because it looks JUST like a friend of mine:

Post by o'neil on May 9, 2013 9:38:07 GMT -5

ok...this is not craigslist related, but I discovered this website recently and it has brought many lulz:okcgoldmine.com/Fans of this thread should appreciate it the most so I'm posting it here instead of creating a new thread or letting it get buried in random thoughts thread.Forgive me if it has already been posted on this forum somewhere and I missed it.

edit:also this one got me the hardest because it looks JUST like a friend of mine:

Post by GABFRAB on May 9, 2013 15:02:01 GMT -5

I used to read okcenemies before they shut it down. I'm glad to see something has risen up to take its place. That def belongs in here as it's another tool for people watching on the internet. Thanks, dude.

This guys is another frequent poster who probably has trouble having his fetish fulfilled:

I still produce milk from Baby Sasha. Unfortunately my breasts weren't large enough for this dude. More for me I guess. My milk leaks and curdles in the bra. I scrape it out with chips to make nachos. I'll bring some to brunch.

Post by o'neil on May 11, 2013 23:37:26 GMT -5

I have been known to browse CL for entertainment, but then I get terrified. it seems like every guy in this area who posts is either looking for a hook up with a lactating female (seriously, what is that about?!), BBW, or a man on the DL. the first time I went on that site I had to google the shiz out of some abbreviations.