Norwegian Court declares Breivik is "a complete cunt"

After lengthy deliberations, a panel of five senior judges at a Norwegian court have declared that Anders Breivik, who murdered 77 people in a killing spree last year, is "a complete cunt".

The judgement comes as a disappointment to the prosecution, who were arguing for terms such as "fucking psycho wanker" and "shit-for-brains" to be applied officially, it is not yet known if they will challenge the verdict.

Breivik, who has already admitted to being "a bit of an arsehole", had stated he would appeal if he had been officially tagged by the panel as "last one off the special bus", as had been proposed.

In a final statement to the court, Anders Breivik (who pronounces his first name with some bizarre Nordic lisp) announced that "The court has found in favour of my right to prove to people that I'm not some crazy whacko, and that I am simply a murderous evil cunt with odd facial hair. I hope now that the people of Norway can just lock me away and move on instead of being concerned about my mental health."