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How can I bear the disappointment of getting my period each month?

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Although my husband and I have been trying for a baby for nearly two years now, tests haven't found anything wrong with either of us. I feel depressed and extremely upset each time I get my period. Plus, we can't afford IVF right now -- I'm so frustrated. I wondered if anyone else has been in this situation and how they handled it. Is there any hope for us?

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I am in the same situation. Everytime my period comes around it just breaks me heart. I want to not feel this way. But I don't know how to make myself feel better. And it seems like everyone around me is having babies!!!!

...I already wrote my comment on 7/12/04...I just wanted to add one more thing. For those considering Fertility Drugs, etc. read the article in Oprah's Magazine. It's the February 2004 issue. 'Is this any way to have a baby? The terrifying truth about Fertility Drugs'. I'm sure if you log onto her website (oprah.com) there is a way to get this article/magazine. Anyone that wants to talk, feel free to write me at, thielen11@msn.com...Peace.

Hello Trudy, I'm sure you're aware by now that you're not alone. My husband and I have also been trying for almost two years. I was diagnosed with Endometriosis over a year ago. I'm not sure what your beliefs are but here goes...Faith is what gets us through and keeps us going. Faith, not hope. Everytime you get your period and get disappointed it's almost like you lose faith and you're not trusting God. I don't get upset anymore. It's about God's timing, not ours. It will happen only on his timing. He knows your desires. It's His Will too. It says so in the Bible and I'm gonna hold Him to it! I've had every situation happen around me. Positive and negative. I've got a friend who tried for 2 years and just had a baby (not fertility drugs or nothin). I have a cousin who's pregnant and isn't sure who the father is. But those situations are totally separate from our situation. God has a plan for us. So if you get your period again, just shrug your shoulders and say, "oh well, next month". If you feel the need to cry and get down, allow yourself only 10 minutes, then pick yourself up and stay positive, keep the faith and TRUST in God. And in the meantime, focus on your husband, travel, enjoy eachother. Enjoy your freedom while you can, because it will happen! On God's time. God Bless and Best wishes...Born Again...

Try using the "Instead cup". It keeps sperm close to the cervix and you can leave it in for 12 hours after intercourse. It can usually be purchased at Walgreens or Wal Mart for less than $10 for a whole box of them. Their original purpose was for a period but they have since been found to help with pregnancy. Hope this helps...

I am 27 and he is 31. We have been trying now for about 9 months...I come on babycntr all the time thinking that if I have baby on the brain it is positive energy. Reading these posts slightly alleviates the sadness and pain that comes over me every time I see a neg pg test or my period shows up. The stress is unbearable. They say not to think about it or worry or stress- but it seems I can or am never not worrying about it. Furthermore, each month seems to be going at a snails pace. I want to have a few children and not all back 2 back so I feel like now is the time. Help me less stressed. I long for the day that I can hold our baby and see our child that is a little bit of both of us. I crochet all different things for our first baby. Oh why can't we get pregnant, its draining me. Trying to stay positive... any advice for me?

First off, I'm sorry you are going through this. I highly recommend connecting with other women who share your situation. I guarantee it will at least make you feel better. I've been struggling with a disabling disease for over a decade and recently received a diagnosis...an incurable, painful neurological/autoimmune disease. Now that I have a name to it and have connected w/others like me...having that support system of only those who can relate helps immensely.
Now, on to happier words: DON'T LOSE HOPE! If you've been told that your organs are functioning properly, don't give up. I wasn't supposed to be able to get preggy. So at 34, I'd lost all hope and forced myself to accept never having a baby. So imagine my surprise when I got pregnant! I was told by Dr's I should 'medically' abort my baby. Against all odds, I now have a beautiful, smart, healthy 1yr old. So my point is...you will naturally continue feeling disappointed...but by all means, know that miracles DO happen! :)

This might sound silly to some people, but if you've no aversion to Magic, rituals, and the wearing of religious pendants, there are many ways to achieve conception through Magic & spells. I'm a Wiccan, and when my S.O. and I were having trouble getting pregnant, I looked in some of my ritual books and lo and behold, I found one which increases the chances of conception! It worked; as I was pregnant within a month of preforming the rite. There are many spells for conception that can be found all over the internet, and there are lots of differant types of pendants and jewlery you can wear while trying. I suggest African or Ancient Egyptian pendants, as they work well and don't look too bad, either. Good luck with your conception!

Trudy,
I feel your pain. My husband and I have been trying for almost 2 years now. We were successfull after about 6 months, only to have a miscarriage in the sixth week. I have been devested ever since. I count the days every month, and swear I have every pregnancy symptom there is, only to be crushed again the day my period comes. It doesn't help me when people tell me "it will happen" or "don't think about it". Can I ask any of you how you don't think about it? Even when I try not to think about it, I do. And everyone around me is pregnant too. I have my days when I just cry, and then the ones when I am ok. I just never wanted anything so badly, and this is one of my worst fears come true. For some reason, I had this fear that I wouldn't be able to have children and it kills me that I am having so many problems now. Sorry to go on... I just needed someplace to vent because today I thought about it alot and then I saw this message board. Thanks for listening.

I feel your pain I went through the same thing, but on the bright side there is hope! My husband and I have had two children and I am currently pregnant with a third, it was a long struggle for us as well. We spent four years trying to get pregnant with my first child our daughter. We finely went in after about two years of trying but they could find nothing wrong with either of us. I do have a tendency to skip periods and there very irregular which made it really hard to conceive, like my doctor said if your only having 3-4 periods a year and only get that many shots at conceiving and with the irregularity you can?t even begin to predict when you?re actually ovulating. We ended up doing an oral hormone treatment you start taking it a certain amount of days after you period begins and it forces your body to ovulate during a certain timeframe after your period, it took us about a year of it to get pregnant with our first child. After all you have to wait for your next period to try again and they start with a very low dose and work their way up. We did the same thing with my second child my son, since we couldn?t afford IVF it was a good option for us. We tried to get pregnant for a few years and then went in it took us about a year with him as well so my daughter and son are almost four years apart. This last time it was a breeze though, we figured it would take us at least a year so we started trying around our sons first birthday and we got pregnant our first time around and were now expecting our third in august. My advice to you ask about it, the doctor will want you to try on your own for at least a year but after that it?s a great option. Trying to conceive can be so stressful and emotional, it?s extremely difficult and people that haven?t been through it don?t understand the struggle. I would also plan something, a trip or something that you?re looking forward to, to take your mind off trying. I swear the second I planned a trip or something that I was looking forward to and took the focus off trying I got pregnant. We were actually planning to take out daughter to Disneyland in January when we found out we were pregnant in December needless to say that trips now on hold lol.

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