Forced Into Your Way

I wrote this as a response to just living here in the South and feeling out of place. I hope people relate.

My bones are not my own, a fact I learned when I was grown. “You’re special,” they said to us kids before bed, and we believed with full intent that our souls were heaven-sent because teachers were always right and mommies knew how to calm at night. Taught not to question the system, taught the realm of narcissism, cuddled in the lies, and couldn’t realize. Well, science crept in in adolescence, taking too long to assert its presence. Now here’s a shocking revelation never told by the congregation: It’s called anatomy and what you are is what you see. My bones are not my own might just be King Tut’s big toe can’t find a part of me that wasn’t part of somebody. Did you know that atoms recycle? I never knew anything but the Bible. School taught me I’m specialer than anybody Why? Cause God made me, see No need for questions and all that jazz I’m happy with all the vague answers the Bible has I’ve got a bookmark in there and bony fingers in my ear thinking of perishable things I hold dear, saying there is no skin or bone that other people used to own, saying there’s a soul and in this chaos, control saying but you told me so, realizing how little teachers know, realizing answers start with me, in those answers reason should be. Realizing we are on our own til those teachers’ minds are grown. Realizing skin and bones withhold a brain, which I can’t regard longer with disdain, because though fragile it may be, because of it I can see a vast world, beautiful and frail, with its science discovered and with wonders never scaled See, whoever my bones belonged to had their time, but forget them, this is mine and I’m sure whoever owned these atoms signed their own petitions and sang their own anthems but none of them had a chance to take your tuxedoed hand in dance, and I’m glad they never looked in your eyes, stole my time and won my prize. This the world is fine without the fairy tales I learned about As scary as most of it is, I’m honored to say that I’m his. Yet my personality is all mine, because honestly I’m just a shrine to everyone who’s left their mark carved into me like hearts in tree bark. They spent so much of our parents’ money and all our time trying to save us from the facts of life when really, they’re encouraging and they only sting when you spend your whole life thinking it’s forever and what’s the point of any endeavor? And science smacks you in the face cause it was never given its rightful place and you realize you have less time to make your mark and love your life. I’m finally there, but it took years, of rejecting your teaching and fighting my fears. It took me to a special place, one I’ll leave someday but one I’ll hopefully impart on those forced into your way.

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