Moms at work

'I've always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom'

'I've always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom'

September 01, 2008|Emily Arthur-Richardt, earthur@aberdeennews.com

This week, the American News chose to examine the social dynamics of two mothers - one a stay-at-home mom and one a working woman. Here's what they had to stay - in their own words - about making the choice between staying home or going back to work. Name: Rachel Hemke Where do you live?: Aberdeen Age: 28 Family: Husband, Fred, 41, and Charlotte, 7 months. How long have you been a stay-at-home mom?: Since May. Why did you chose to stay home with your daughter as opposed to taking on a full-time job outside of the home?: Both my mother and my husband's mother were stay-at-home moms. I've always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, and my husband always wanted his kids to have a stay-at-home mom. We both felt that it was the best thing for us and our daughter. What's a typical day like in your household?: Busy. We wake up early and have some breakfast. We play together or read. Hopefully, Charlotte takes a morning nap, and then I try to get some housework done. We play and read a lot during the day. The Baby Bjorn that some friends gave me is a life saver! I can do a lot of different things while Charlotte rides along in it. During the summer we went to the pool almost every day. After the pool, we'd come home, give Charlotte a bath, eat a little more and she would go to bed. Then I have time to do things around the house or read, visit, or watch a movie with my husband. Do you ever plan on going back to work?: Not right away. Hopefully, we'll be blessed with at least one more child, and I would stay home while they are in school. What are the benefits of being a stay-at-home mom?: I don't miss any milestones. (Tuesday) afternoon, Charlotte did her first crawling. If I had been at work, I would have missed it. Also, I don't have to worry about her catching a cold or something from other children at a day care. Staying at home gives me the opportunity to teach her things she might not get at a day care. We listen to a lot of music, and sing and dance. She even plays her own little piano. Also, the cost of day care can be overwhelming. When you factor in the costs of going to work, like clothing, gasoline for the car, daycare expenses, staying home seems like a better idea for my family. Are there any negatives?: Not for me. Some people feel that they would miss adult contact, but we spend a good amount of time with other adults with and without our daughter. Some people say being a stay-at-home mom is a full-time job in itself. What are your feelings on that subject?: I agree 100 percent! It is a 24-hour-a-day job. Even if the baby is asleep or with a babysitter for an evening, a mom is always on call. I honestly don't know how moms with full-time, out-of-the-home jobs can do it. If you weren't able to stay home and take care of your daughter, what would you be doing? Did you leave a different profession behind?: I taught music in the Aberdeen Public Middle Schools for three years. I really enjoyed working with the students, but I wanted to spend my days with my little one, and fortunately my husband and I are able to make it work. Do you ever feel like you're missing out?: No. I had the opportunity to teach for three years. I am able to do almost all of the things I did before I was a full-time mom. I can't really think of anything I'd rather do than raise my own child. Is it difficult to find time to yourself?: Sometimes, it is, yes. I won't say that being a mom hasn't changed anything. I think that when you have a child, you should know going in that you are going to have to make some sacrifices. If I can't give myself a manicure, I'm not really missing out on that much. What is it that you enjoy doing (hobbies) when you do have the time?: I enjoy theater (both going to and participating in), reading, walking and cooking new recipes. I also enjoy playing the piano and singing for fun. I am a bit of a movie-holic, too. Oh, and Facebook...that's a new vice. 'I try to get ready for work and out the door before the kids wake up' Name: Amy Troske Where do you live?: Northville Age: 31 Family: Husband, Dylan, 32; Nicholas, 5; Rhianna, 23 months; and expecting a third child in January. Have you always been a working mom or was there a time when you stayed home with the kids?: I have always been a working mother since giving birth to Nicholas. Why did you choose to have both a career and a family?: Dylan and I have certain goals for the future. I don't believe we could obtain those if I wasn't bringing in additional income. What's a typical day like in your life?: I try to get up and ready for work and out the door before the kids wake up. It tends to go easier in the morning with just one parent versus the kids. I am at work at approximately 7:30 a.m. and work until 4:30 p.m. I have to be back to Northville by 5:15 p.m. to pick up the kids from day care. The kids and I always try to play and spend time together before dinner at 6:30 p.m. since I typically haven't seen them since the night before. Dylan will usually arrive home after dinner. Once finished, we have baths, book time and then kids are in bed by 8 to 8:30 p.m. Any tips for anybody else who is trying to make time for both?: You don't have to attend every event or social gathering just because you feel you should go. Learn when to say no and just stay home to spend quality time reading or playing with your kids. They grow up fast. I know I will have plenty of time for all those social events later on. What are the benefits of being a working mom?: I get that breather from the kids to spend time in the adult world. I have the chance to use my education and degree in solving problems for the customers my company serves. The kids benefit by playing with children their own age and learn to become more outgoing with their peers. By having a small-town day care right here in Northville, the kids travel only two blocks to Sheri's house! And with Dylan working right in Northville, too, he is readily available for the kids if one happens to become ill during the day. Are there any negatives?: The main negative is looking back at pictures, realizing how fast the years really do go by, no matter how slow this week at work really seemed. Those are the moments I wished I was home more with the kids. Is it difficult to find time for yourself?: Always...but the two- to three-hour nap time on a Saturday afternoon is glorious. What is it that you enjoy doing (hobbies) when you do have the time?: I truly enjoy scrapbooking and interior design. I love to paint, decorate and shop for items for my children's bedrooms. I love making them feel their room in the house is the most special place to be. Editor's notes: "Who We Are" is a regular Monday feature about cultures in the area and various socioeconomic situations found in the region. If you have a story idea for "Who We Are," e-mail ameyer@aberdeen news.com. We want to know what is important to you.