::quickly drops behind the bar as hundreds of pints of Guinness smash against the wall behind me::

Sorry ya drunkards, but the truth is the truth. The allure of MMA is that it features world class athletes actually beating the piss out of each other. I understand that a huge part of both combat sports and Conor McGregor's entertainment value is promotion, but can we maybe stop short of going full WWE? Give me the condescending, slick talking mick that was more likely to smile in his impending opponent's direction after verbally instigating him into a fit of rage than he was to throw energy drinks and half-heartedly "attempt" to hit someone with a folding chair. That scene I just watched of one of the most feared mixed martial artists doing the most disingenuous "hold me back! hold me back!" routine of all time had my eyes-a-rollin'. I don't know if true UFC fans - which I am unquestionably not - get off on that melodramatic bullshit, but there's something inherently cringeworthy about having a clearly fabricated lead-up to a very real fight. Eddie Alvarez throwing a folding chair behind Conor McGregor for seemingly no other reason than for him to grab it and start swinging reeked of ingenuity. Even worse? It reeked of something straight off the script of the soap opera that Conor McGregor has always been so quick to criticize....

I didn't mean no disrespect to the @wwe fans. What I meant to say was that I'd slap the head off your entire roster. And twice on Sunday's.