Who am I, really?

I asked myself this question a few years back.

If you had asked me who I was before my divorce, I would have said that I was a practicing lawyer in California. I would have said that I was pursuing my profession, moving up in my career and being a husband.

If you pressed more, I would have told you that I believed in truth, justice and doing what was right in the world. I would have said that I helped balance the scales of justice in my life.

Today, I have a very different answer – keep reading to see what I would say now.

Like you, I have many labels that define me.

We take on so many identities, but how many of these identities are really us?

You and I are both products of our environments, our professions, our parents, our families, our friends and our classmates.

These labels, these representations, these appearances – all ultimately define us.

We are our personalities. We are our pasts. We are the stories we’ve been telling ourselves.

We are our egos.

If I were to ask, “Who are you?” you’d tell me, “Vishnu, I’m not tipsy right now and can’t answer questions that have no relevance to my life. I gotta finish this *^@^&@ work report and get home to finish the House of Cards marathon.”

But at what point in your life do you actually ask yourself this question: “who am I?”

I’m not asking about your nationality, your citizenship, your career or where you live.

This is as deep as it’s going to get.

Who are you really?

If you’re not asking yourself this question or reflecting on who you truly are, you’re likely not getting to your core – your essence.

If you’re not spending time with yourself in silence, you’re likely not living your own life, but rather one that society has dictated to you.

See, it’s way too easy to go through life and have other people influence us. We face a barrage of messages on the daily.

When so many messages – all of them based on someone else’s perspective or generally accepted notions about life – inundate us, we end up living disingenuous lives.

That’s when we start living like everyone else. Start having dreams like everyone else. Start moving where everyone else is moving. Start working in careers that everyone else has. Start eating at restaurants where everyone else goes…you get the picture.

If you feel like you’re done living unconsciously and you want to get to your essence so that you can live more in line with your truth, this post is for you.

Here’s how to find the “real” you and start living your truth.

1) See who you are.

If you’re not you, who are you?

You’re a collection of beliefs, values, labels and identifications.

The first step to getting to the real you is to recognize all these external labels and identifications.

It’s hard to do so because you’ve attached so many of these labels to yourself. For example, you’ve had your name your entire life and believe that you are the person who goes by that name.

You’re of a certain race. You’re of a certain citizenship and come from a certain part of the world. You speak a certain language. You belong to a certain social group, community group or cultural group.

Start taking note of who you are by becoming aware of these labels.

Here’s an exercise to help you get some clarity about yourself. All you have to do is fill in the blank to each of these questions.

Labels – fill in the blank

a) My name is ____________________ b) My race is ____________________ c) My citizenship is ____________________ d) My ethnicity is ______________________ e) I speak __________________________ f) I was born in ________________________ g) I’ve been on this earth for ___________________ (# of years) h) My parents are from _______________________ (country of origin) i) I’m one of ___ children in my family. (how many children) j)I’m a _____________, _________________, ______________. (family roles like mother, wife, daughter) k) I attended ________________, ________________. (schools and universities) l) My religion is ____________________ m) My political party is ____________________. n) I belong to ______________________. (clubs and associations) o) I belong to ______________________. (name of church, temple, mosque) p) I studied ____________________. (your field of study) q) I am a ___________________. (career or profession) r) I am a ___________________. (introvert/extrovert) s) I drive a ________________________. t) My hobbies are _________________________.

Beliefs – fill in the blank

Throughout your life, you have collected, compiled and arrived at a certain world view that now consists of your belief system. If you’re like most people, you’re holding onto your belief system for dear life.

Without a strong attachment to beliefs, you might lose your identity. You might lose who you are and everything you know about yourself.

Let’s go through some beliefs – fill in the blanks below.

a) I believe in the _________________faith (religious beliefs)

b) I believe in a ___________________________ (type of government)

c) I believe that money ________________________ (money beliefs)

d) I believe success comes from _________________________

e) I believe people are always __________________________

f) I believe that happiness comes from ____________________

g) I believe that hard work ______________________ (fill in the blank)

h) I believe the luckiest people ___________________ (fill in the blank)

Values – fill in the blank

Think about everything you value in your own life.

These are the qualities that are important to you: qualities that you base your life upon. (If you don’t know what values are, have a look at this comprehensive list of values to help you determine which ones matter most to you.) List all the values on this list that resonate with you.

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