Send me email updates about messages I've received on the site and the latest news from The CafeMom Team.
By signing up, you certify that you are female and accept the Terms of Service and have read the
Privacy Policy.

Hold that baby! PIOG

When ds was born 6 yrs ago, I was 21 dh was 26. Neither one of us knew what we were doing. I didn't have the internet and I must have forgot about the library. I didn't read anything about parenting or my pregnancy. Just went with the flow. I have a few regrets from his infancy and things I would have done differently. The main thing being not breastfeeding. And the other not holding him enough. Dh thought we would spoil him if we held him everytime he cried. I can remember dh taking him out of my arms and putting him in his crib and letting him cry. He said, he has all his needs met. He's fed and has a clean diaper, he doesn't need to be held all the time. Looking back that just infuriates me!! Before we decided to have another one I told him that this time we are going to do things my way. HOLD THAT BABY!! I now know how important it is to hold your baby when they want to be held. I can't wait to spoil her with all my love. :) Unfortunately, I have to go back to work as soon as I can. I got dh a sling so he can old her no matter what he is doing. In the next four weeks and all the time I am home on maternity leave I plan on burning it into his skull how important it is to hold her. Our ds is a little bit of an emotional wrek and cries quit often. Dh hates it. So I'm hoping that by making it clear to him how important it is to her emotional well-being, that he will spoil her with all his love too.

Well I agree that you should hold and soothe your baby but I disagree that you need to hold her all the time. You will get her used to being in your arms all the time and that means she will cry if you put her down. Its ok for babies to be held but it is also ok for them to spend some time in their crib.

Babies are born used to being held. They are rocked constantly for 9 months. They are warm and hear your hearbeat 24/7. Life on the outside is the complete opposite.

I breastfeed on demand, bedshare from birth, and wear my baby in a wrap during the day. She is 2 months old and very rarely set down. I will never regret holding her so much, but (like the op) I might regret not holding her enough if I was less responsive.

Quoting sweetieiv:

Well I agree that you should hold and soothe your baby but I disagree that you need to hold her all the time. You will get her used to being in your arms all the time and that means she will cry if you put her down. Its ok for babies to be held but it is also ok for them to spend some time in their crib.

I held my daughter constantly. She was pretty much only set down for diaper changes during her first few months of life. Even when she got a little bigger, she still wanted to be held most of the time. She is now a loving, sweet, intelligent, independent toddler. No matter how much or how little you hold your babies, they will grow up and move away from you and towards their own paths. So you might as well hold them, love them, nurture them, show them that you will always be there. They won't consciously remember, but not everything we know is in the forefront of our brains.

Anyway :) I hope your husband listens to you and holds her as much as she needs! And for infants, it is a need, a legitimate need, no different from eating or sleeping.

I plan on holding my baby constantly, I never want to set her down. When I do I'll put her in a rocker or bouncer so it soothes her. I don't believe in the whole "self-soothing" philosophy. When she's a toddler, yes, but a baby should not have to learn how to self-soothe, they need all the love and attention you can give. I will breastfeed and co-sleep and rock my baby to sleep every chance I get because I just can't stand to do anything else.

There is something some people call the 4th trimester. Where you and baby are adjusting. Baby is used to being held and swaddled and cuddled really closely. All of a sudden baby is cold and alone. No more heartbeat no more warmth. Just lots of loud noise and bright light!

For the first several months baby has to learn this strange new place and it isn't easy!! Hold them as much as possible. Even though it isn't your womb, your (and especially daddys) arms are the next best place!

We all have different views. I know it is very important to hold babies as much as possible because they are used to it. I just don't think it is highly important to hold them 100% of the time.

Quoting Randi02:

Babies are born used to being held. They are rocked constantly for 9 months. They are warm and hear your hearbeat 24/7. Life on the outside is the complete opposite.

I breastfeed on demand, bedshare from birth, and wear my baby in a wrap during the day. She is 2 months old and very rarely set down. I will never regret holding her so much, but (like the op) I might regret not holding her enough if I was less responsive.

Quoting sweetieiv:

Well I agree that you should hold and soothe your baby but I disagree that you need to hold her all the time. You will get her used to being in your arms all the time and that means she will cry if you put her down. Its ok for babies to be held but it is also ok for them to spend some time in their crib.

Send me email updates about messages I've received on the site and the latest news from The CafeMom Team.
By signing up, you certify that you are female and accept the Terms of Service and have read the
Privacy Policy.