Minions will cower and tremble in fear when they meet the all-powerful GnarledJaggedPlaqueLaden Teeth Eyes! Hey, I get the appeal of colored and themed contact lenses, particularly for Halloween, cosplay, and other costumed events worthy of shaking things up with one's irises. But I already think eyes are scary as all get out--like Anaconda eyes and the eyes of that witch in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves and when Nathan Fillion as Caleb the horrific black-eyed pastor stuck his thumbs in Xander Harris' eyes--so why do people have to go and double the quantity of my cold sweat by putting demon teeth in them? Also, these are ridiculous. Ladies, you can buy contacts that will make you look like Selene from Underworld or a lovely blue snowflake. Please don't buy the ones that will send me running even before you point out your 6'4", 240-pound boyfriend whose Rambo costume includes an M60 that may or may not be a prop replica.

Halloween--or everyday, depending on how you roll--contact lenses come in over 100 different colors and styles. Some recognizable favorites include: Link from The Legend of Zelda; Gremlin; Hellraiser; Werewolf; Walking Dead; and Cheshire Cat. Novelty lenses sold by Lens.com are FDA-approved for eye safety.

Wise shoppers know that when buying a gift, you should choose something for the recipient that you would never choose to buy for yourself. In that vein, this smokin' hot, 12-gauge clear plastic TRON corset lined with...

The fear factor of these scary Halloween masks lies somewhere between disturbing and spine-chilling. Between nightmares for the night and nightmares for the month. Between Ugh, what is that? and CAN. NOT. UN. SEE. I'm...

It's The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants' most famous defector in living, non-Anna-Paquin form! This milliskin Rogue jumpsuit is made to order in your choice of kotobukiya with green details, classic with black details, and...

You love Batman, but you're a loyal Star Wars fanboy. Halloween is coming up and you have a difficult decision to make. Can you betray Darth Vader for your new crush on the Dark Knight? Good news. You won't have to. Mash...

GlassUp. They're a pair of HUD smartphone-linked glasses that flash texts, emails, news updates, directions, any messages for which you would normally look down and consult a screen, right onto the glass in front of your...

Oh what I would give to wear this Alien Mind Control mask to work. I'd just ride the lobby elevator up and down all day long, standing there ominously to greet, and soil the pants of, everyone who gets on. I'm almost...

Cretaceous Period meets the Wild, Wild West in this ride-on T-Rex costume, one of the most outstanding Halloween costumes I've seen this year. And one of the most outstanding mixed metaphors I've seen ever...

While Firebox will personalize these Freak Masks with your own face, or the face in any photo you upload and send them, I smell a branding opportunity here for hip-hop artist Ski Mask the Slump God. Ski masks of Ski Mask...

I compiled a list of the best Halloween candy for adults because I figured some of you, like me, would want something more than just sugar-dipped sugar with a gooey sugar center to pair with your candy corn Jell-O shots...