One Man. One Woman. Two Completely Different Worlds …………… (A Humor Blog About Marriage)

Avoidance Tactics?

Sorry I’ve disappeared…. I’ve been traveling for work this week and that always screws up my free time….. dang job!

Anyhow, here’s what’s on my mind this week!

I’m truly surrounded by absurd male behavior. I mentioned last week that I was worried about a having a “mini-hubby” when we found out we’re expecting a boy. But now, I think I’m coming to realize that due to the mere fact that it will be a BOY, even without hubby’s “mini-me” training, I’m just plain screwed. Because men…. pretty much all men….. are just absurd!

As if it’s not enough to have tons of material from my own husband to blog about regularly, the other men in my life seem to love to “step it up” to keep me on my toes (or maybe they are all just hoping they’ll get a blog mention??)

Here’s a little back story.

A few years ago we had a new fence installed around our backyard. We had some challenges with getting our gate to automatically close to ensure that our pool isn’t accessible to little ones and our dog can’t escape. But my Dad, who is a wiz at stuff like this, swept in and fixed the problem for us….. voila…. problem solved (or so I thought).

Fast forward to the end of last summer.

My hubby is doing his summer choresand he goes out to mow the lawn. Afterwards, he comes in and says… “Did you do something to the gate?” “No why?”, I respond. “Well, the closing mechanism is all different than it was last weekend”. Hmmm… well, unless the fairies have now taken on mechanical tasks, there can really only be one explanation.

So, I call my Dad…..

Me: “Dad, do you do something to the gate this week?”

Dad: “Yep, I was wondering how long it would take you guys to realize it!”

Me: “Well, it’s not like we go into the backyard every day….. we do have jobs you know. So anyway, hubby just mowed the lawn and he noticed that it’s not closing right again”

Dad: “Not closing?”

Me: “Yeah, before, Maggie (our dog) couldn’t run away but now it seems that she might have free access to the outside world”

Dad: “Hmmmm, ok I’ll look at it again”

Me: “Uhm, Dad?

Dad: “Yes?”

Me: “Why exactly did you mess with our gate at all? It’s been fine for quite a while, and we didn’t ask you to fiddle with it?”

Dad: “Well, I didn’t like the way it looked. When I fixed it a year ago, I wasn’t totally happy with the closing mechanism, so I came back this week to improve it”

Me: “Interesting….. you didn’t ‘like the way it looked’ and so you improved it??? “But it was fine… AND more importantly it was closing…. and now it’s not. Not so sure that’s an improvement”

So the next week my Dad was back at our house fiddling with the gate. You see, my Dad is a “fiddler”, and he’s also a perfectionist – a potentially lethal combination for a man. He’s always got some sort of a project going on and he likes to tinker around the house (ahhhhh… the joys of retirement!). So, after a few tweaks, the gate is closing again – HOORAY!

Thank you Dad… for fixing a gate that we didn’t know needed any fixing.

Fast forward to this summer.

Hubby goes out to mow the lawn. “Hon” he says, “I think your Dad is at it again.” “What do ya mean?” I reply. “Well, the latch on the gate is different again”

Oh boy… I thought we were done with this.

So, I’m at my parents house.

Dad: “You guys aren’t very perceptive are you…..” he’s taunting me

Me: “Is this about the gate?”

Dad:smirking “Ah, so you did notice”

Me: “I noticed that you are once again messing with a gate that’s working perfectly fine..”

Dad: “Well, it may have been ‘fine’, but now it’s ‘more than fine’. I have improved it!”

Me: “Are we done with this one? Can we move on from creating projects out of things that are not projects? I mean if you’re looking for things to do, I’d be more than happy to make you a list of things that actually need doing!”

Dad: “I think we’re done. I’m pretty happy with it now.”

Me: “Gee thanks, I’m happy that you’re happy…..”

Mom:she pipes in from the background “Well, I’m not happy….. He keeps leaving the projects he should be doing here to go and mess with your gate!!”

And there you have it. Yet another man trading off his time to create projects from thin air just to avoid doing projects on the To Do List! This procrastination, avoidance, prioritization by men is just simply mind boggling!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, how I feel for you!! You will be surrounded by testosterone for the rest of your life just like me. I beg for my sons to bring female friends over so that I can talk to someone with a logical brain!!