Oh please let go of that penis!- part 1: size

Is it too small? Too curved? Too quick? Not made of steel? Have I got the news for you…

I’m blowing my top off today about dick drama. After cleaning up about 300 penis size & Viagra spams out of my mailbox this morning (all addressed to “Webmistress”), I run into yet another penis scare web site. Enough!

This is my personal take on penis, so YMMW – but I’ve done a lot of sampling ;-), talking & reading. The most common myths, one by one:

Myth#1: Women love huge dicks. Yours must be at least the size of the Empire State Building, or all the girls laugh behind your back.

Truth:Yes, we do love huge dicks. To sometimes look at. Just like you sometimes like to look at the 66KK breasts of the latest porn star called Maceys Zeppelin.

Get this guys: Excite a woman and she’ll be happy with *your* penis.

——–Short humor break for all you size queens out there. Rest of the sermon below. ——-

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Most of you got hands, right? With the fingers at the end. Wiggle those where it counts and make your woman happy. Deep kissing, dirty talk, other tongue action, hanging off the chandeliers, ropes and belts and feathers oh my… You know, your penis is really, really not so all-important to our pleasure, no matter how much we adore it and love to play with it.

Except for some major size mis-fits (women vary in width/depth as much as men do in girth/length), we are built to happily adjust to each other. When a woman gets excited, her vagina gets tighter (actually, soft tissues get engorged, just like in penis), lengthens a bit, and most definitely, gets more sensitive. This means she’ll feel you just fine if you’re on the smaller side. It also means that she’ll be able to take you even if your trouser snake is an anaconda, so big guys, you’re not off the hook – nothing feels worse than a clueless man with a huge dick trying to powerfuck a poor, bone dry girl. Really.

While some women enjoy having their cervix banged up, for some of us it feels just as enjoyable as a fist into a guy’s groin (yes, I know some men enjoy that too. More power to the few, the brave… ). Not to mention that giving head to a really large man requires breath control of a Japanese pearl diver, a double jointed jaw and a gag reflex control of a sword swallower… Can it be done? Yes. Is it loads of fun? Not necessarily. Can it be done well? Hmmm…

So you see, a humongous penis in not going to get you girls with biggest boobs, a new convertible and that promotion. It’s nota magic wand that will make a woman cum at the sight of it, unless she’s as serious a size queen as you are. Yes, it may make her beg you to stop, *for all the wrong reasons*.

Casanova, the greatest (known) lover in the whole history, was not known for the size of his penis. How did he conquer all those women?

“He wooed, that is, by kindness and generosity rather than brute force. He soon lost interest in women who obviously didn’t care for him, and he found the verbal aspects of love-making so essential a part of its pleasure that he spurned ladies with whom he had no language in common. Far from being heartless, he fell passionately in love with striking ease (and out of it with similar ease, a sceptic might add). He maintained that “four-fifths” of the joy of sex was in giving pleasure to one’s partner, and he seems to have had the enviable knack of staying on good terms with many of his former lovers, often for many years. “You were born to make people happy,” wrote one of his “conquests” in a mood of fond nostalgia.” - from RedOrbit

If you want to know the size women *really* like the best, look at the size of the (unattached) penises women buy for themselves – the most popular vibrators are in the 5.5″ to 6.5″ usable length (don’t forget that one part’s, unlike the real thing, used as a handle). Just head to an online sex shop that includes the “Most popular” list & get a gander.