I’m sorry. I know it’s been a really really long time since I’ve actively updated this business (and I don’t really count my IKEA Bus posts, even though that’s probably why most people haven’t bothered to unsubscribe yet). For a while, I was just taking a breather from writing. I think I ran out of ideas, and out of energy to make new ones. Unpaid blogging, yo, it’s exhausting. For a long time, I didn’t want to write (or do anything) at all. But after I watched all the good shows on Netflix (I’m 3 seasons down on Orange is the New Black), I managed to pull it together for a few scattered creative endeavors.

So today, on what accidentally happens to be the 6th anniversary of this blog (because I’m a dork and I put “blogiversary” on my calendar), I thought it was time to kind of update what what I’ve been up to these days. Sort of a kindergarten style show-and-tell of my last 3 years.

GETTIN PAID.
I originally moved myself over to MaineToday.com (the final death rattle for Broke207) thinking that I could blog for them for money. But I was hitting the peak of my emotional tuckered-ness at that point, and I just could never meet the quota that they wanted me to write. I was so ashamed about falling short that I never billed them for what I did write. Which, is too bad, because I wrote some pretty good stuff for them.

But, this January (amidst the Phoenix vs. Dig meltdown situation), I got surprise recruited to write for the Phoenix (after all their regular staff abandoned ship). I’ve got a monthly column called “The Register” where I sort of write about what I used to write about here. Say what you will about the Phoenix and whether or not you think they’re a-holes, but they let me write what I want and they send me money in the mail every month. It’s nice. And, even though I’ve been writing publicly for years, my dad seems to think that this means I’ve finally “made it.”

MAKING OUT.
I might have also found myself a pretty spectacular boyfriend during my 3 year absence. There are a lot of things about him that are great that I could list, but I don’t want you trying to steal him, so I’ll keep it to myself. What I will say is that we see a pantload of movies together. And after 3 years of hitting the Nickeoldeon at least once a week, we decided that we should write about it (even if nobody else ever reads it). On Movie Makeouts we both write separate reviews of the same movies (he’s smarter and more analytical, and I swear more and make more snarky comments about people’s hair). We also have a plan to watch every single movie ever nominated for a Best Picture Oscar (all 524 of them), an do a series of one-line reviews for movies so bad that they don’t deserve more. It’s a super new work-in-progress, but where I’ll be focusing most of my writing chi for now. So, if you miss me, you can find me there.

SOME OTHER JUNK.
Then there was all this other wonderful/awful stuff:

I wrote, directed, and produced my first play ever for Portfringe this year. It’s about realizing that you hate someone you used to love (plus there’s a puppet).

I had a hysterectomy (exactly as unfortunate as you think), got a fancy new job but had to leave one that I really loved, and found a new apartment that I can afford all by myself. I met this guy. I got a Nancy Drew tattoo. It’s been a weird 3 years, and I’m still trying to figure out why I’m 38 and not impressed with myself yet.18 year old Allie figured she’d be famous by now (or at least have her driver’s license). I’ll keep trying.

so there was a little mix up down at the old swapmaine farm, and two of us accidentally wrote a post about the same thing. the solution, the crazier of the two posts (surprise!) has been quarantined to this blog. maybe you’ll enjoy it, it’s about unitards. however, if you’re looking for more dignified fare… the real post is scheduled to be released into the wild at midnight tonight on the swapmaine blog. perhaps you can write a 5 paragraph essay comparing & contrasting them.

T-minus 2 weeks until the swap, and you’ve probably been spending a lot of your free time running sprints and practicing packing and unpacking bags in preparation for the big day. Well, if you want to be truly prepared for the blessed event, you also need to consider the perfect functional attire for the zero hour.

I would like to recommend the unitard.

Perfect for its speedy lack of wind resistance, and its sleek ability to fit seamlessly under any garment, the unitard is the ultimate solution to the clothing swap under-dressing conundrum. Coming in a variety of colors, types (mock turtleneck? full body?), and levels of shiny-ness, the only real feature that I find to be lacking is pockets. well, pockets and the fact that nobody actually looks good in a unitard…

So let’s be practical here. You probably don’t own a unitard (and that’s tragic, but let’s try to stay positive here), but the concept can be translated fairly easily into real-life apparel that will make your swapping experience a little bit easier:

1. Wear something close fitting. There aren’t really fitting rooms at the swap, so if you want to try things on, you will have to try them on over your clothes. If you’re wearing cargo pants and a bulky sweater, the effect could be misleading and infinitely less than cute. Leggings and a tank top, or even skinny jeans and t-shirt work pretty well as a functional base layer.

2. Wear something lightweight. You’re going to be lading yourself down with sacks of new clothes, and any extra layers to carry around will just be burdensome. Also, all that swapping action is likely to generate a little heat. You don’t want to be sweating all over the swappables, or get tired and go home early because it’s hot and you’re cranky. Swapping is all about endurance.

3. Wear something cute. This in fact might be the most critical factor of all. Not only are Nate & Laura from Fore Front Fashion going to be wandering around snapping all the action, but you’ll also have the opportunity to get famous in our Swapperazzi photo booth. Just throw together your best swapped ensemble, step into the booth, and the fine ladies at Swap.com could put your picture up for the world to ogle. So yes, cute shoes. (I personally will be throwing elbows to get to these).

in other swapmaine related news…

the swag bag donation list is getting sexier every day. although if these earrings don’t turn up in the bags, it’s because i stole them all.

i hate watching myself on film. i hate my voice. i make funny squinty faces and wave my hands around too much… it makes me cringe. but every now and again, a girl has to get on camera for the greater good. (and no, girls gone wild does not count as the greater good).

well, i’ve been posting on the wcsh6 around town blog for a while, and a couple of weeks ago their fabulous community web producer asked me if i would be in a promo spot for the website.

scary, right? but who am i to turn down free publicity, and the opportunity to help out someone who helped me out.

the process was actually really fun and totally not traumatizing. the producer and camera man came over to my house, microphoned me up, and asked me a bunch of questions. i tried not to look like a fidgety spaz. the best part was when we were done filming and we all hung out and talked about nerd stuff. i also love that in the final cut, my apartment is heavily featured.

i promised a long long time ago, that i was going to add a budget fashion feature to the ole broke207. well, i lied! totally! i’ve been trying all year to figure out how to get it going, and i just couldn’t figure it out. i would start and stop and reconfigure, but the post just never… posted. well, a few weeks ago, i had an actual revelation! perusing a guest post on the goodwill of northern new england blog, i realized that maybe the fashion post didn’t belong on broke207, and that’s why i was having such a hard time writing it.

well, i decided to nut up and contact goodwill, and see if they were interested in a potential weekly fashion feature. you never know unless you ask, right? well, they received my idea very very kindly (thanks for being awesome michelle!), and my very first post is up today! if they like it, it will be a continuing thing. if they don’t, at least i got a totally sweet outfit for $10.49. it’s a win win!

so anyway, go and check me out, and maybe even leave a little comment love so they let me do it again. and if you’re really lucky, i can talk some of my favoritelocalfashion bloggers into doing it with me.

i’ve always wanted to write a guest post. i didn’t have any idea where, or about what, but the honor of being asked by another blogger to write for them just seemed like it would be totally awesome. as it turns out, i was correct! the very amazing chris over at part time vagabond recently gave me the honor of writing a little article about budget travel tips that made its debut this morning. what i love about PTV is that it’s grounded in reality. it isn’t all “let’s jetset to morocco for a long weekend”. it’s about the eternal struggle between wanting to aimlessly wander the globe while still tending to the responsibilities of things like jobs and pets and property ownership. chris is all about escaping when you can, and finding adventure in even the shortest jaunt. it’s everything that is amazing about travel, translated into real life. anyway chris, you rock, and thank you for letting me get my stink all over your kick ass website!

chances are if you are visiting my blog today, it’s because you got here from the wordpress.com landing page. you know, the one with the “freshly pressed” section where a random selection of blogs with provocative or interesting articles get a little pimp every few days? well, in case you’re in the 1% of my regular readers who didn’t wander here via the wordpress train, I AM ON THAT SHIT RIGHT NOW! (and i’m totally peeing my pants about it).

as it turns out, a lot of people have A LOT to say on the subject (some people’s responses were longer than my post!). at 62 comments and counting, i’m feeling completely overwhelmed (in an awesome way) by the response, but even more shocked that the majority of it has been positive. ok, one guy called me an idiot, and another person told me that my uneducated daughters would grow up to be whores (hand to god, you can not make this shit up), but mostly i was feeling the solidarity of so many people who just wished that they had put the secondary education on pause for a minute while they did some growing up.

i have every intention of answering all 62+ of those comments as completely and thoughtfully as i can. that said, it will probably take me a while. so while you wait, in the absence of any neil diamondesque elevator music, please just accept my humble thanks for coming to visit and bothering to have anything to say (good or bad) about my insane ramblings (or if my thanks isn’t enough to keep you busy, maybe you can go look at this for a while). this has been the best blog day ever.

which is probably not that big of a surprise, since i’m fairly certain that’s how the majority of you got here today (thank you for coming!). but anyway, the very awesome justin ellis over at the PPH interviewed me on friday, and here i am in monday’s paper (print & online versions)! i am pleased to report that i didn’t make too big of an ass out of myself, and that he was able to pull out at least a couple of quotes that didn’t involve overt swearing or the word vagina. as a final testament to his awesomeness, justin decided to close with the voltron quote. the voltron quote! who said that newspapers were dead?