Blog.

Movember comes to Return On Digital

For those who are not aware – Movember was invented to allow repressed men to dabble with their facial hair for 30 days and not be subjected to the mockery that modern society places upon those who choose to furnish their top lip. To absolutely ensure these people are not ridiculed into submission a charity was set up as a front with the notion that we’re doing this to raise awareness for men’s health. You can happily donate to the charity and support us over the next month but be aware, every audible moustache related jibe in November sent in our direction will result in a man dying, or at least becoming a bit unhealthy, somewhere in the world. Think on.

To highlight what I just said, here is a Family Guy clip:

So onto the Return On Digital office, five of us have decided to get involved in Movember. None of us have done this before, so we don’t know how it will turn out, but it will no doubt fall into one of three categories:

Me:
Facial hair is not new to me, I constantly sport some form of stubble in an array of colours – black, white, ginger (and I’m not even ginger thank the lord). But it’s generally spread evenly over my face, I haven’t sported a tache since my underage drinking days when trying to fraudulently enter the pubs and clubs of Bolton.

There are rules for Movember which I’ve already broke, I’ve not trimmed in a week or so and I will not be clean shaving around my tache in November but it will be kept short and trim at a number 1 setting. I haven’t wet shaved in several years and not even this good cause will bring the Gillette Triple Mach Fusion VIII out of retirement.

In order to encourage us to reach our targets, we have all set ourselves a target based on what we (as in me) believe to the epitome of moustachioed cool. My hero at this level is Jesse Hughes from the Eagles Of Death Metal:

Look at him, he oozes style – woman want him, men want to be him – if you don’t agree, go watching them in concert… then you will.

We will be updating the blog weekly with our progress, but so far this is where I’m up to:

Phil Morgan
As a scouser, the ability to sport a moustache with pride has been ingrained in his family for years so persuading Phil to join in was not a problem. He too has chosen not start fully clean and over the next few weeks we expect to see a number of famous scouse tache looks beginning with the “Joey Barton” named after than none other than Newcastle footballer Joey Barton:

His target for the 30th will be to sport a moustache not seen in Liverpool since the 80s (or more likely 8am) – as seen on Yosser Hughes in Boys From The Black Stuff:

As you can see, he’s got some way to go but we have props in place to ensure that when it gets to the end of the month his rendition of the famous “Giz A Job” clip will be life imitating art and then some:

Guy Levine

There was no way the boss was not getting involved and Guy is doing the whole thing to the letter of the law and has began the month clean shaven. We have set him the target of matching the most famous Jewish moustache of them all, no – not Jesus – it’s Groucho Marx:

Again, there is a long way to go:

Hopefully it won’t be a case of close but no cigar come the 30th.

Rob Hillyard

Like me, Rob hails from Bolton. So we racked our brains for the most famous moustache Bolton has ever seen. Initially we opted for:

But time is not a great healer in these parts and after what he did to our club we decided the best way to raise money for charity was to go for the most lovable moustache in Bolton:

Again, some way to go:

Andy Venables

Andy is a farmer’s son.

Farmer.

Moustache.

Easy choice:

Next week he’ll be wearing his dad’s Barbour’s jacket but for now, here’s how it looks:

Progress

The blog will be updated weekly with our progress, so be sure to come back and see how we are doing. And, of course, feel free to encourage us by donating to the Return Of Digital Movember cause at the link below: