Dare to live your truth

Not so long ago, I was in a meeting with about a dozen of my peers and everyone around me was talking about how great things are in their lives and businesses.

Kumba-frickin’-ya.

When it was my turn to speak I said, “I dare entrepreneurs to live their truth, but I don’t feel like I’m fully living mine.”

You see, I’d spent much of three years working to master the secrets to success in the online world so that I could make millions while I sleep. I had some wins, but never felt like I really connected with people using these tactics because they didn’t feel true to me.

For example, earlier this year I followed a big-name guru’s blueprint for doing a launch and it was a disaster. I didn’t increase enrollments over past launches, and what’s worse is that I burned my relationship with my online community. In fact, my open rates are now HALF of what they were before I followed her advice. (Please forgive me for the error of my ways!) I knew her system didn’t feel right, but promised myself to follow it to the letter because it works for her. BIG mistake.

The truth is that I’m an accelerator. An activator. An artisan.

And I haven’t found an authentic way for those things to translate online. (At least not using other people’s methods.)

The truth is what really feeds me is giving others my full, undivided attention through conversation.

Not copy or complicated email campaigns.

Yes, good old fashioned conversation.

The truth is that I’ll continue to use the internet and email as tools to teach, start conversation and spread the word. But the greatest impact I have on entrepreneurs is listening… really listening to what’s going on and helping you find solutions to your problems.

As an entrepreneur, you must find and live YOUR truth.

Don’t let anyone shoehorn you into doing something that’s “proven” to work if it doesn’t feel true to you.

Here’s the catch…

The critical distinction is knowing the difference between your truth and your fear.

Your truth is what’s deep inside of you. A knowing.

Fear is your ego playing games with you and your truth. It can force you to hide behind excuses.

When you’re resistant to doing something, go deep within yourself to distinguish what’s stopping you. Are you fearful of trying something new? Failure? Success? Looking bad? Or do you have a knowing that’s inside of you… that this action doesn’t support you and your people.

If it’s fear, go take the action. (We’ve all heard the famous quote, “Feel the fear and do it anyway.”)

If it’s the knowing, then follow your truth.

The truth is that pure magic happens when I connect through conversation with entrepreneurs because as an activator, accelerator and artisan… I’m able to inspire, motivate and problem-solve in ways that can’t happen in a mass email campaign.

Thank you, Carolyn! I greatly appreciate your willingness to stand here in truth and share your experience. It’s really hard to get the message out that “do it the way I do it” only works as long as “be the same person I am” is part of the equation.

Your style is to customize the message and the delivery for the individual business owner, which is a lot harder than giving people a template, but a lot more rewarding for that business owner. Glad you found your gifts in your experience and will stand in them!

You’re absolutely right, Steve. Nobody is a one-size-fits-all entrepreneur, but they get herded into one-size-fits-all programs that don’t give space for the individual to absorb, process or tailor it to their truth (aka true self). Thank you for pointing that out!

“The truth is that pure magic happens when I connect through conversation with entrepreneurs because as an activator, accelerator and artisan… I’m able to inspire, motivate and problem-solve in ways that can’t happen in a mass email campaign. ”

Hi Joseann – That is SUCH a great question. It’s taken me a long time to figure out how to do that so I’m going to answer you in two ways:

1. Sit. Get quiet. Listen to what your BODY tells you when you pose a question about an issue. I, personally, get a feeling in my throat/chest area that feels heavy/pushing when I KNOW something isn’t right. That’s my “keep looking for another solution” signal. I get a positive feeling of lightness in my heart when it’s right. Fear feels more in my head than my body. Then I have to say “f*ck” it and do it anyway.

2. Jennifer Urezzio, founder of Know Soul’s Language jennifer@knowsoulslanguage.net really taught me how to tap into learning how to tell the two apart. She started by asking me the question, “Do you want fear to drive your decision?”. I was so unaware that was how I was going through life and making so many decisions based on fear. Working with her further really helped me tap into the deeper wisdom we each possess.

Thank you Carolyn for your refreshing truth in this sometimes crazy online space.
A perfect reminder for us all to be true to our natural and powerful selves. Anything but that feels way too cumbersome anyway – like we are puppeteers in someone else’s body. (I saw the stage production of Warhorse just recently … so that visual is very strong in my mind.)
Bev – Australia

Carolyn,
Bravo! First for telling us about something that didn’t work and the courage to share it. Second for being your bold self and acknowledging how powerful you are. When we actually listen it’s amazing what we hear. I hear YOU! Let’s you and I talk and listen together soon.
Susan

Hey Susan – I’ve made more mistakes than wins… and I’m okay with that. It’s all part of the process. My mantra of daring to live my truth now makes it easier to listen to my instincts. The lesson I got from that woman’s approach wasn’t the one she intended… but definitely more valuable to me and the people I engage with going forward 🙂

Carolyn it’s been awhile since we’ve “talked” on FB about running and what not, so I’m very glad Debra sent me the link to this post. Bravo my social media friend (with good friends in common). Not only for calling out what you didn’t like about this experience and recognizing (reaffirming?) where you make the greatest impact, but also your willingness to set yourself up for “disaster” in the first place.

How many of us have NOT done something that didn’t feel right only to have it end up NOT at all how we wanted. And yet we pick ourselves up and go on.

You took a risk. Even though it’s more ideal to take aligned feeling risks I still admire you for taking it. I say this believing full well that you will build back up that precious asset (your list) in a way that feels fully aligned with your TRUTH. And you’ll attract new wonderful people to your community in the process.

Wow! If I can make a copy wizard like you laugh at my made-up word, I’m feeling damn happy about that!

I sooooo appreciate your perspective, Stefanie. I do believe that the risk, while it didn’t produce the result I expected or hoped for, provided a far more valuable outcome than I could’ve ever hoped for because it taught me a valuable lesson that will serve me and my community for years to come. And it’ll ripple out to their communities from there. So it’s all good 🙂

I love this post because of your raw honesty. It is so refreshing in this online market space. Everyone wants to share what works well and present their business as if all is fabulous. Yet, sometimes we learn more by doing what doesn’t work than by doing what does. I’m happy for you that this experience has left you even more committed to being exactly who you are and inspiring people to grow in ways that feel authentic and true to you. And by doing that, you remind all of us to do so as well. Thank you!

My inside “truth meter” is probably the BEST intuition tool I have. When it’s off-key my mind and body react very strongly so I totaly know what you mean..
When it’s not about business, I find it harder to correct because it involves other people but I guess with truth, as harsh as it is, the sooner the better.
Thank you for the post, it came at the perfect timing!