Chelsea to sign Samuel Eto’o in Anzhi firesale?

By John Ashdown, theguardian.com

You want a four-times Africa player of the year and three-times Champions League winner? You got it! EVERYTHING MUST GO!

Yes it’s the Anzhi Makakakakahachachachkakakala clearance sale, and Chelsea have been camped outside the store since midnight – snuggled in a sleeping bag, Thermos in hand – to be at the front of the queue for a bargain. The man at the top of José Mourinho’s shopping list is Samuel Eto’o, who is on his way out of the Russian club due to what Anzhi are calling a change in modus operandi but many believe to be a bit of a cash crisis.

Chelsea are also back in for Black Eyed Pea and Anzhi No10 Will.I.An, though they face competition from Spurs, Christopher Samba could be lumbering to a Premier League ground near you soon and Lassana Diarra could be annoying the purists once more by having “Lass” on the back of his new Stoke shirt. And playing in midfield while wearing a No2.

Barcelona, meanwhile, are eyeing up new targets after Chelsea knocked back their £34.5m bid for David Luiz. They will now turn their attentions to Liverpool’s Daniel Agger.

Will they sign him? Won’t they? Can he leave? Will they pay up? Has he got a release clause? Hasn’t he? Is he worth it? Yes, it’s time for the latest instalment in the transfer saga of the summer – Bafetembi Gomis’s move to Newcastle. Today’s update: Marseille are looking to hijack the striker’s move from Lyon to the north-east.

In other Ligue 1 news, Tottenham are eager to pip Cardiff City and Atlético Madrid to the signing of the Toulouse defensive midfielder Etienne Capoue. He’ll cost a pleasingly random £8.6m.

Do you remember Mame Biraf Diouf? Mark Hughes remembers and he wants the Hannover striker to join his new-look Stoke. Hannover are keeping their fingers crossed that he doesn’t remember too well and are asking for £7m.

While Anzhi have billboards plastered across the football landscape, a full-page advert in several national newspapers and a TV advert playing during the entire break of Coronation Street starring that bloke who did those action films in the early 1990s (you know the one – winning smile, toned biceps, the eyes that speak of a deep sadness in the soul), Sunderland’s big sale is rather more low key. Paolo Di Canio has parked his battered old Vauxhall Chevette in the Stadium of Light carpark, unfolded is wobbly table and upon it plonked Lee Cattermole, David Vaughan, Phil Bardsley and James McClean. He wants £5m for walking red-card Cattermole, £1m a piece for Vaughan and Bardsley and £4m for McClean.

Once that lot is shifted, the Black Cats want the Besiktas midfielder Manuel Fernandes. Everton, who have had him on loan, and Sunderland are also keen on the Portugal international.

And in Championship news, Nottingham Forest were so impressed by Bakary Sako’s middling performances for relegation-bound Wolves last season that they are willing to pay £2m for his services. They’re also set to offer Celtic £2.5m for Kelvin Wilson. And the week’s slightly-less-controversial Liverpool transfer, the winger Oussama Assaidi is to join Queens Park Rangers on a season-long loan.