Lessons from Shiloh … Embrace your Incompetence

Today, as Shiloh and I were hanging in the park, this idea of embracing incompetence came to mind.

I know what you’re thinking…who wants to feel incompetent!

We want to feel like we have it all together, we know what we are doing and all is under control, right?? I invite you to look at it in a different way today. When I say embrace your incompetence, think about it as an opportunity to learn.

Being or feeling incompetent is…

A call to action to learn

An opportunity to go deeper

An indication to practice more

A nudge to change our outlook

If you’re feeling incompetent about something new you are trying, it’s ok to roll with that and feel the emotions that are coming up. It’s human nature to not want to try something new if we don’t think we are going to be good at it, or we are afraid of looking silly or stupid, so we give up too soon.

How many times have you given up too soon?

I know I have, especially when I was trying to learn golf. I thought, “how hard can it be to hit that little ball?”…it was harder than I thought! I didn’t really like it because I wasn’t good at it right away, I didn’t give it a chance. Maybe I need to revisit that little white ball. 🙂

Think about what that might be for you. The feelings of frustration, insecurity, not looking good or not feeling smart can swirl in our head and reinforce or create beliefs about ourselves when we feel incompetent around something.

If you have judged yourself as failing or incompetent around a particular aspect of your life, whether it be with your health and fitness, your relationships or your career, it’s time to shift that perspective. Negative judgment and beating yourself up will only keep you more stuck and feeling more incompetent.

Look at it as an opportunity to learn, an opportunity to grow, an opportunity to step out of our comfort zone and often it’s an opportunity for us to have a little giggle at ourselves. We often take ourselves to serious, but if we can have a laugh, dust ourselves off, keep going, admit when we need help, then we get more competent and as we get more competent, we build more confidence.

There is something in psychology called the competence/confidence loop. This demonstrates that the more competent we are at something, the more confidence we gain and as that grows and the confidence to go deeper and try new things is reinforced.

What can this be for you today? Something a little out of your comfort zone, maybe something you tried in the past, you want to revisit or something brand new that has been calling to you…It’s time to listen to the whispers, get curious and remember when the judgments bubble up, have a little giggle.