Osborne: sleeping with Ryan Giggs was Plan B for economy

Irish newspapers this morning defied a UK super-injunction and alleged “a prominent British politician with special responsibility for the economy” was the lover with whom Ryan Giggs conducted a passionate six-month affair.
The revelation forced Chancellor George Osborne to admit that the Irish press had inadvertently revealed his Plan B for the British economy – become a soccer WAG and use Premiership wages to prop up the Budget.
He told a hastily-assembled press conference that Nick Clegg was under strict instructions to woo John Terry, but said Frank Lampard had so far refused the amorous advances of Vince Cable.
Osborne told journalists: “I’ve always had plans all the way down to Z, so it’s no good senior economists telling me I need a Plan B.
“Putting petrol up all the time was Plan E. Blithely insisting everything was all right when every economic indicator showed we were going further and further down the pan was Plan N. In fact, I don’t want to alarm anybody but we’ve already used Plans right down to S.”