Mike Nadel: Curse those cursed curses!

You are too smart to believe in curses, and I respect your intelligence. So from this point forward, my Cubs columns will not include references to the Three B's: billy goats, black cats and Bartman.

Mike Nadel

You are too smart to believe in curses, and I respect your intelligence. So from this point forward, my Cubs columns will not include references to the Three B's: billy goats, black cats and Bartman.

I also will resist reminding readers that the Cubs haven't won a World Series in 99 years or a National League pennant in 62 seasons. If you love the Cubs, hate them or are just a casual baseball fan, you know: IT'S BEEN A LONG FREAKIN' TIME!

Besides, you don't need me to remind you because everybody else will. With the Cubs in the playoffs, you won't be able to escape the incessant blather about the cursed Cubbies.

ESPN will drive you ESPNutty. Sports talk radio will be even more banal than usual.

Many of my print colleagues will explain away every loss with, "Because they're the Cubs," and pat themselves on the back for their cleverness.

Believe me; I understand the obsession with curses. Fans seek explanations that go beyond "one team played better than the other." Curses provide water-cooler talk. I get it. I simply refuse to fuel it.

When Lou Piniella and his players say they don't believe in curses, many folks chuckle and say: "Sure, they don't."

But you know what? They really don't.

Sure, some ballplayers are superstitious. But stepping over the foul line or wearing a favorite undershirt is different from thinking that some metaphysical force controls the outcome of games or series or seasons.

"There are no curses," reliever Scott Eyre said Saturday, a day after his Cubs wrapped up the NL Central title.

"Someone cooked 'em up and they get talked about every time the Cubs get into the postseason. Or every time the Cubs don't get into the postseason. It gets old.

"I mean, the Red Sox had the Curse of the Bambino. So now it's gone because they won?"

Exactly. Did the Red Sox do something special to rid themselves of the Curse of the

Bambino? Did they see a witch doctor, sprinkle fairy dust or set fire to a Babe Ruth photo and launch the ashes into outer space?

Or did they simply play better than the Yankees to win the last four games of the 2004 ALCS and then annihilate the Cardinals in the World Series for their first championship in 86 years? (Yeah, I know: Boring!)

The previous October, Steve Bartman reached for a baseball, Moises Alou reacted as if somebody had stolen his sippy-cup, Mark Prior unraveled on the mound, Alex Gonzalez booted a double-play grounder, Dusty Baker's boys blew what seemed a sure World Series trip, and curse-lovers everywhere couldn't have been happier.

"In 2003, we had a great team and we were surprised we didn't get it done," said Aramis Ramirez, who along with Carlos Zambrano and Kerry Wood are the only active Cubs remaining from that team.

"It wasn't because of a curse or the billy goat or anything else. We just didn't play good enough ball to win. And the Marlins went on to beat the Yankees in the World

Series. Were the Yankees cursed, too?"

Come to think of it, the Yankees haven't won a championship since 2000. Their "bad luck" began when Mark Grace and Luis Gonzalez beat previously unbeatable Mariano Rivera in Game 7 of the '01 World Series.

Poor Yankees. How will they ever overcome the Curse of the Ex-Cubbies?

Saturday in Cincinnati, I had this wonderful exchange with first-year Cub Alfonso Soriano:

Nadel: "Do you know who Bartman is?"

Soriano: "Who?"

Nadel: "Bartman. Steve Bartman."

Soriano: "Never heard of him."

We all should have such blissful ignorance. The past is the past. As Eyre said: "There's no magic DeLorean. We can't go into the past with Doc Brown and change things to make the future better."

The events of 2003, 1969, 1945 and 1932 have nothing to do with 2007. I'm beyond bored with Bartman, the black cat that scampered past Ron Santo, Billy Sianis' goat and Babe Ruth's Called Shot. I'm guessing you are, too.

I'm not naive. I know it's unrealistic to expect fans to act rationally. I know that if Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter boots the baseball it's because he screwed up, but if Cubs shortstop Ryan Theriot boots the baseball ... "We're doomed! We're the Cubs! We're cursed!"

Maybe I won't be able to live up to my pledge, especially if a fan pulls a Bartman in a postseason game. I mean, I would have to refer to the original, right? But whether the Cubs win it all or get swept in the first round, I'll do my darnedest to provide real insight about actual baseball.

Or at least I'll make up some crud on deadline that will have to do.

Either way, it won't be: "The Cubs are the Cubs and they'll always be the Cubs."

You deserve better than that.

Mike Nadel (mikenadel@sbcglobal.net) is the Chicago sports columnist for GateHouse News Service. Read his blog, The Baldest Truth, at www.thebaldesttruth.com.

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