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Reader’s Dilemma: What Do I Buy a Friend When What’s Left on the Registry Feels Too Impersonal?

Registries take the guesswork out of gift-giving. But what happens when all the good gifts are taken and all that’s left is a paper towel holder and a mop?

Writes Christina: “I’m unable to attend the wedding of a girl who was once a very close friend (we're still very friendly; we just grew apart). She is registered, but her registry is sparse. And since we used to be so close, all the gifts that still need to be bought seem very impersonal. To top it all off, I’m strapped for money right now, so I can't spend very much. Help!”

Here’s what I think: I once bought a scale for a very close friend’s engagement. I repeat: a scale. If she weren’t stick thin, I’d be scared that gift would send the wrong message. But when I apologized for getting her something so silly, she told me there was nothing to be sorry about. In fact, she much preferred my scale over the countless vases she hadn’t registered for that friends and family had bought her. So while what’s left on the registry may seem strange to give, the couple wants them, otherwise they wouldn’t have put it on their wish list in the first place!

If that's not an option for you, try these:

Buy items that coordinate with registry gifts. Paul and I registered for wine glasses with these adorable etchings (the Cheers style by Mikasa if you’re curious). My mom’s friend got us matching cordial glasses. We hadn’t registered for those because, well, cordial glasses weren't something I thought to register for. But guess what? I did actually break out the cordials at a recent party in my apartment. And how fancy did we look with our coordinating glassware?

Chip in for something fabulous with other guests. I’m not sure if you’re close enough with anyone else on the couple’s guest list to initiate this conversation, but when you’re broke, pooling funds with other broke people can result in one fabulous gift.

Go the sentimental route. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: A DIY gift is always a winner. If anything that’s left on the registry is in your budget, you can get that and give a present you make with it--scrapbooks, photo collages, and a book of marriage advice from friends all count.

Treat the couple to a night out. Do a little digging to find a delicious, inexpensive restaurant in their area. Then get them a gift certificate toward a meal there.

Do you always buy off the registry, no matter how impersonal the gifts seem? Which of the above options do you think is best for Christina? Any other ideas for this cash-strapped guest?