Monday, September 18, 2006

Babies have no shame

I have noticed since Liam was born that babies have no shame. This is a good thing I guess, but who teaches children shame? Their parents, right? That is kind of sad to me, but when I think any deeper about it, I realize shame is necessary for our children to learn what is good and bad. I mean, Adam and Eve were ashamed when they were found naked after partaking of the fruit. This is a good lesson. They were suddenly aware of their nudity when they partook of the fruit from the tree of knowledge. They suddenly had that awareness because of partaking. It was that simple and necessary for them to learn.

Babies barf, poop, pee, sneeze, cough, toot, spit and smack. Because they are so small and new, it's okay that they do these things. (It's even cute sometimes... and even funny to we more immature parents.) We moms even lower the standards of our conversation subject matter to the bodily fuctions of our children. It's a time of "no shame" for the baby and the parents. We know what's going on and how weird it is that we are used to these daily clean ups. The babies, though, haven't yet learned how ill-mannered these things are (to most folks). So in the meantime, we just deal with it and worry if our baby is constipated or gassy (sometimes privately, sometimes publicly). What an odd step back we adults take when we bring new poopers into the world.

Another thought on shame: If I don't know what someone says, whether they mumbled or spoke in broken English to me... I DO NOT assume I know exactly what they said. Babies, on the other hand, can either understand us completely or take a wild and confident guess with no shame. I talk to Liam all the time. I ask him things, tell him things and tease him. Ian teaches Liam things too. Does he understand us? I tend to think he does when he's doing exactly what I ask or immediately does something we taught him. Or is he just guessing?

I think we could all live with a little less shame. Why do I feel so ashamed all the time when the house isn't clean or I haven't gotten dressed and it's 1pm or my kid is saying weird stuff that he learned from me. On the other hand, if I had no shame, well you can only imagine.

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“Boys are found everywhere on top of, underneath, inside of, climbing on, swinging from, running around or jumping to."

~Alan Beck

"I am more afraid that this people have so much confidence in their leaders that they will not inquire for themselves of God whether they are led by Him. I am fearful they settle down in a state of blind self-security, trusting their eternal destiny in the hands of their leaders with a reckless confidence that in itself would thwart the purposes of God in their salvation, and weaken that influence they could give to their leaders, did they know for themselves, by the revelations of Jesus, that they are led in the right way. Let every man and woman know, by the whispering of the Spirit of God to themselves, whether their leaders are walking in the path the Lord dictates, or not. This has been my exhortation continually."