Just Say No to Valentine’s Day at Southport Pubs

Nobody spends President’s Day bemoaning the fact their last name isn’t Lincoln, Washington or Obama. But Valentine’s Day seems purposely designed to make the lovelorn feel like crap. Haven’t got a sweetheart? What the hell is wrong with you?

The crawl kicks off Saturday, Feb. 11, 2 p.m., at Schubas, 3159 N. Southport Ave., and then heads north, making stops at Southport Lanes, Justin’s, Mystic Celt and Toons. As you walk up the avenue, be sure to thumb your nose at the candy shops and stationery stores selling gobs of heart-themed crap. “Accidentally” stumble into happy hand-holding couples. Make a mental note of every screaming toddler.

The cost of joining your fellow insurgents is $10 (not including beverages), with proceeds benefiting the Make-A-Wish Foundation–just a little reminder that there are worse things in life than being date-less on Valentine’s.