(RE)ENGAGING YOUR PARTNER CONSTRUCTIVELY

Remember Adam and his wife, Nadine, who spent $1,000 on a wedding gift? Let’s imagine that Adam adopted a constructive approach when raising the issue with his wife. The following responses illustrate what a cooperative, dismissive, and defensive response from a partner might look like.

Cooperative Response from a Partner

Adam:

“I wanted to bring something up. Something’s bothering me. I found out how much money was spent on the wedding gift. I’m disappointed, and I want to talk about it.”

Nadine:

“OK, let’s talk.”

Adam:

“I’m confused and disappointed over the cost of the wedding gift. I want you to know where I’m coming from.”