Wayne Rooney had to be taken to hospital after suffering the mother of all gashes to his meaty bits during Man Utd’s win over Fulham today – with Hugo Rodallega’s slashing Rooney’s thigh open in a freak accident…

Thank heavens that Dr Welbeck was on hand to treat the injury…

Now, we have no formal medical training as such, but something here ain’t right. The inside is mainly on the outside.

Seriously though, it would appear that the Roonster will be out for at least the next four weeks while that thing scabs over and heals up.