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19 March 2013

The Diary of June Gardens

I just kind of feel like I'm the only one who cares when The Real
Housewives comes on. These animals don't understand that it's the most
important show of our lifetime. And SEASON FINALE AND REUNION SHOW NEXT
WEEK!!!! dyingdyingdying!

You notice how I can't direct any attention to Edsel without him perking right up? she look at me? most excelint gurl look at edz? love edz? kizz edz? oh most excelint girl, pleeeeese love edz.

We
could also accuse Iris of looking at me, but she can't look at
anything, smartie. Just just over there swinging her head and singing
Isn't She Lovely.

Before I start getting concerned emails and comments, she was right above me, Lily was. Far from the maddening crowd. Similarly ignoring The Most Important Show of Our Lifetime.

Speaking of shows, tonight Ned and I are going to see the guy who invented Post Secret. Every Sunday I get excited because it's another week of post secrets, where people mail in post cards with their deepest, you know, secrets. They should also have Post Sucrets, where you mail in about your cold. I'd have sent $12 worth of post cards this winter. And you'd have all known it was my cold, because my cold was The Most Important Cold of Our Lifetime.

At any rate, the guy who came up with the whole idea is going to speak, and we are v.v. excited to go, and we figure if we can't get in because of the crowds, we'll just go to the homes of all the people present and read their diaries.

Have you ever read anyone's diary? Once an old boyfriend read mine then had the nerve to get mad about what was in there. When Marvin came to my house a few months back, after his dentist appointment in my neighborhood, he was here for an hour or so before I came home, and knowing this would be the case I cleared my browsing history on my computer, put away cards from Ned, looked around for anything incriminating, then LEFT MY DIARY RIGHT NEXT TO MY BED. I have no idea if he read it or not, other than the part where he loves to do things like snoop through people's things, often with hilarious results. So.

I must go, as it is late AGAIN and I KNOW. I never start writing my blog until it's one minute before work anymore. Last night I was up late on Facebook, IMing with Miss Doxie AND Ned. I was bi-texting. I went both ways.

I leave you with this, which a faithful reader sent me. Apparently there are people out there with our blog names. Or they really, really like this blog and my romance with Ned. Which would be not at all creepy.

June, not needing to tell secrets to a website because she tells them all here.

P.S. I really like that new housewife, the one who thinks her husband is king. Okay, that part is luducrous but other than that she's sort of real. As real as those women get. I also continue to like Brandi despite her name.

Comments

The Diary of June Gardens

I just kind of feel like I'm the only one who cares when The Real
Housewives comes on. These animals don't understand that it's the most
important show of our lifetime. And SEASON FINALE AND REUNION SHOW NEXT
WEEK!!!! dyingdyingdying!

You notice how I can't direct any attention to Edsel without him perking right up? she look at me? most excelint gurl look at edz? love edz? kizz edz? oh most excelint girl, pleeeeese love edz.

We
could also accuse Iris of looking at me, but she can't look at
anything, smartie. Just just over there swinging her head and singing
Isn't She Lovely.

Before I start getting concerned emails and comments, she was right above me, Lily was. Far from the maddening crowd. Similarly ignoring The Most Important Show of Our Lifetime.

Speaking of shows, tonight Ned and I are going to see the guy who invented Post Secret. Every Sunday I get excited because it's another week of post secrets, where people mail in post cards with their deepest, you know, secrets. They should also have Post Sucrets, where you mail in about your cold. I'd have sent $12 worth of post cards this winter. And you'd have all known it was my cold, because my cold was The Most Important Cold of Our Lifetime.

At any rate, the guy who came up with the whole idea is going to speak, and we are v.v. excited to go, and we figure if we can't get in because of the crowds, we'll just go to the homes of all the people present and read their diaries.

Have you ever read anyone's diary? Once an old boyfriend read mine then had the nerve to get mad about what was in there. When Marvin came to my house a few months back, after his dentist appointment in my neighborhood, he was here for an hour or so before I came home, and knowing this would be the case I cleared my browsing history on my computer, put away cards from Ned, looked around for anything incriminating, then LEFT MY DIARY RIGHT NEXT TO MY BED. I have no idea if he read it or not, other than the part where he loves to do things like snoop through people's things, often with hilarious results. So.

I must go, as it is late AGAIN and I KNOW. I never start writing my blog until it's one minute before work anymore. Last night I was up late on Facebook, IMing with Miss Doxie AND Ned. I was bi-texting. I went both ways.

I leave you with this, which a faithful reader sent me. Apparently there are people out there with our blog names. Or they really, really like this blog and my romance with Ned. Which would be not at all creepy.

June, not needing to tell secrets to a website because she tells them all here.

P.S. I really like that new housewife, the one who thinks her husband is king. Okay, that part is luducrous but other than that she's sort of real. As real as those women get. I also continue to like Brandi despite her name.