Just A Few Excerpts From My Life...
Here You Will Find My Poetry (Jumbled Thoughts Usually Written In The Heart Of Volatile Emotion I Had No Other Way To Express), A Collab Or Two, Some Of My Favorite Poems/Poets, Original And/Or Favorite Quotes...A Few Blogs/Brief Essays: Free-Style, Words That Move Me; Strike A Chord In Me, And That I Believe Could Or Should Strike Something In Others...
Take Me In Slowly...I Swim The Depths Of The Soul...And I Am At Home There...
~A

Friday, January 26, 2007

CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT YOU

"Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings."

- Anais Nin -

I JUST HAD TO GET THIS IDEA, SCRAMBLED FEELINGS, THOUGHTS, OUT OF MY MIND... DRAFT ONE of THE MELODY IN MY HEAD...

CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT YOU

And I can't even look at you
When I think of how I loved you
Think of how you hurt me

Can't even look at you
When I think of how I fought fate
How could love desert me

Can't even look at you
And I want nothing to remind me
Don't want to feel, don't want to hurt
Don't want to know
Just want to shirk this off
Like you did love...

And I can't even look at you
When I remember the lost time
And some things still remind me
Of what was

No, I can't even look at you
Don't want to see your face
Don't want to speak your name
Or hear it said

And I've found my peace now
Just as long as I pretend
It doesn't matter
That you don't care
It wasn't real
That I was fair
Long as I fight
The loss I feel
And pretend I am on the only one
Who feels it...

And I can't look back,
And we can't go back,
And you could never take it back
And I could never take you back

And I can't even look at you
'Cause I know that love was real
And, I like how numb I feel
Now that it's gone

And I don't want to look at you
And see how much I'm missed
Or remember one kiss
Or your tears

I can't even look at you
I don't want to turn around
When all hope was shut down
So long ago

And it hurts inside to know
That some seeds just don't grow
And love could never save us anyhow
The pain is just too bad
And I just can't stay sad
And I don't want to know you now.

And no matter how much I know
I know I've moved on
I'm happy and healthy
And so fucking strong
I know it would cut me
And I'd turn to salt
If I turned around...

So I won't turn back...
And I won't reflect
'Cause it's my new life
That I must protect
And when it gets hard
I know I must press ahead...
Put it out of my head.

Because love was not enough
And you were not enough
And it still hurt...