Negativity has gotten the best of me.

Well don’t get me wrong, I am not always angry. I just feel like such a negative person. I complain a lot, and I do very negative things that I would tell others not to, and to be the bigger person.

For example, I can be extremely hypocritical, I will yell at my boyfriend for saying something completely rude and do something similar in the next 30 minutes. To be even more honest with you, there are 100 other examples. I tell myself that it’s not fair, and I wish I wasn’t that way, I don’t like being that way. But I guess it’s important that I know it’s wrong.

Other times, for some awful reason, I really like to start arguments. Believe me it is not my proudest ability. I don’t know whether it’s the attention or the feeling of “winning” but I like to argue. It usually starts out as me wanting to talk about a problem or my opinion, but ends up with me screaming or something else that is completely idiotic.

I feel like this makes me sound like a completely awful person, I think it is important that I acknowledge things about myself. That I know how have an area to work on in my communication skills and that as I grow and learn things will become easier.

Does anyone else feel disappointed in themselves for not necessarily being the person they tell others to be?