Dumbest Reasons to Miss Training

I live in southern California, so I spend a fair bit of time at the beach. Usually I don't spend as much time in the sand or the water as I do on the pull-up bars, balance beams, and other lovely fitness stuff they have decorating Santa Monica Beach. And I usually come home not much darker than my northern European ancestors who never left the homeland without their battle axe. But we had some friends visit this weekend, and I spent some time tossing a football around, and without all the climbing activities available at this beach, I then spent a good amount of time in the pond.

In all of this, I didn't consider how much shade Santa Monica has by the pull-up bars, so I didn't wear any sunscreen, because I normally don't burn. This time, sirs and ma'ams, I did. I have blisters spotting up the purplish right side of my body, so like a lazy douchebag, I decided to take the week off judo. And I rage. My heart needs to slam and be slammed upon gaia's fair bosom.

So please, good bullies, tell me stories of other idiots missing out on good training for the crappiest of reasons.

Well about a month ago, I missed class because I got a huge patch of road rash on my arm from a skateboarding accident.

Last weekend, I was training on the deck of a ship all day, and had to wear my hat and sunglasses, lest I end up like you.

I've missed class because I've slept through my alarm.

There's a piece of surfing slang called "the teddybear's picnic". Its what you tell your friends when they ask if you want to surf but you have to do something with your wife/kids. Ex: "Hey dude, wanna head down to Birdrock and catch some waves?" "Nah, I'm on the teddybear's picnic."
I've missed class due to teddybear's picnic.

There's a piece of surfing slang called "the teddybear's picnic". Its what you tell your friends when they ask if you want to surf but you have to do something with your wife/kids. Ex: "Hey dude, wanna head down to Birdrock and catch some waves?" "Nah, I'm on the teddybear's picnic."
I've missed class due to teddybear's picnic.

This doesn't count. IMO it's worse to miss the picnic than to miss the hobby. Only when the training is part of how you make a living, is it more douchey to blow it off for the teddy bears, and only when it makes you a liability.

My washing machine is in my garage, so every night I return from training, I just throw my gi in the wash, then the dryer, then in the boot of the car. Last week every time I got in the car I felt like I was being assaulted nasally by the rotting carcasses of my slain enemies. I couldn't understand it. I removed my shoes from the car, thinking they were the cause, but the smell got worse. I resorted to leaving the windows open, which did nothing. I resigned myself to the fact that maybe I just stank and it was exacerbated in the car.

Then I noticed, in a tiny corner of the boot*, a shiny black thing I hadn't seen in a while. A rashie that had slipped unnoticed into a gap in the boot's corner. Sopping wet from sweat, mine and my training partners, it had begun to fester.

I can tell you right now, it does not impress your lady friends to jump in a car that smells like dirty arse.

This doesn't count. IMO it's worse to miss the picnic than to miss the hobby. Only when the training is part of how you make a living, is it more douchey to blow it off for the teddy bears, and only when it makes you a liability.

You are missing the point. He is a douche. I am a douche. Most of us our epic douchebags. The few of us who are not go on Teddybear picnics. We would like to be like them but we cannot be.

"We often joke -- and we really wish it were a joke -- that you will only encounter two basic problems with your 'self-defense' training.
1) That it doesn't work
2) That it does work"
-Animal MacYoung