A Guide to 'The Hobbit''s Dwarves, As Described by Your Completely Uninterested Grandpa

As a many have already noted, telling all 13 of The Hobbit's dwarves apart from each other can be difficult. It's not so much that they look identical, it's that there's more than a dozen of these guys, and half of them don't really do anything.

Sometimes an outside perspective can help things, however. To that end, I asked my grandfather, who has no idea what The Hobbit even is, to describe each of them in his own particular fashion. Hopefully this helps ... though it probably won't. Actually, it definitely won't.

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