Discipline don't no what to do

Ok so my son who's 14 months is very determined when he wants to do something and when he cant or I tell him no he gets very mad. Screaming crying, throwing himself around on the floor. It gets bad sometimes. I live with my parents right now. My ex husband is not in the picture. So tonight my son had one of his fits now normally they last a few minutes and he's over it, but tonight my dad was home and he kept yelling at him to stop and stating no and telling him he's a bad boy. That's not how I do things. I don't yell at him I raise my voice but not to a full blown yell and that's what my dad was doing. So when he would yell at my son he didn't like it it was scaring him and it was only making his fit worse. I wasn't happy with my dad and am still not. I told him to not yell at him that's not how I do thing and didn't care.. So I got the baby calmed down and put to bed. But I don't know how to do deal with this...

Ok so my son who's 14 months is very determined when he wants to do something and when he cant or I tell him no he gets very mad. Screaming crying, throwing himself around on the floor. It gets bad sometimes. I live with my parents right now. My ex husband is not in the picture. So tonight my son had one of his fits now normally they last a few minutes and he's over it, but tonight my dad was home and he kept yelling at him to stop and stating no and telling him he's a bad boy. That's not how I do things. I don't yell at him I raise my voice but not to a full blown yell and that's what my dad was doing. So when he would yell at my son he didn't like it it was scaring him and it was only making his fit worse. I wasn't happy with my dad and am still not. I told him to not yell at him that's not how I do thing and didn't care.. So I got the baby calmed down and put to bed. But I don't know how to do deal with this...

I do not think it is ever justified (or productive) to yell at a small child out of anger, frustration, "disciplining". You are right to express your opinions to your dad. probably best done separate from the event in a calm sensitive way. You are the mom. I would thank your dad for trying to help but state that you are uncomfortable with his method and you would prefer to handle any discipline yourself. While you are happy to listen to his concerns and ideas, you want things to be consistent, so that is why YOU to be the only you wants to be in charge of discipline. Then (this is the hard part) actually listen to his ideas in a respectful and grateful manner even if you use none of them.

I do not think it is ever justified (or productive) to yell at a small child out of anger, frustration, "disciplining". You are right to express your opinions to your dad. probably best done separate from the event in a calm sensitive way. You are the mom. I would thank your dad for trying to help but state that you are uncomfortable with his method and you would prefer to handle any discipline yourself. While you are happy to listen to his concerns and ideas, you want things to be consistent, so that is why YOU to be the only you wants to be in charge of discipline. Then (this is the hard part) actually listen to his ideas in a respectful and grateful manner even if you use none of them.

I agree with ffrosti. I really don't believe a 14-month-old really has any concept of discipline or even being bad. I don't think they have much control over their emotions at this point. And yelling only models for your son that that's how you should behave in situations you don't like--plus, it must be very scary for a baby to be yelled at like that. I would explain that to your father (calmly, if you can!) And when your son is having one of his fits, I'd take him into a safe room alone and let him get it all out. I know when my son wakes up from a nap in one of his uncontrollable crying fits, there's not much I can say or do that calms him down. I just hold him, comfort him, and try to distract him until he stops. Good luck!

I agree with ffrosti. I really don't believe a 14-month-old really has any concept of discipline or even being bad. I don't think they have much control over their emotions at this point. And yelling only models for your son that that's how you should behave in situations you don't like--plus, it must be very scary for a baby to be yelled at like that. I would explain that to your father (calmly, if you can!) And when your son is having one of his fits, I'd take him into a safe room alone and let him get it all out. I know when my son wakes up from a nap in one of his uncontrollable crying fits, there's not much I can say or do that calms him down. I just hold him, comfort him, and try to distract him until he stops. Good luck!

Thanks for the advice! My dad since apologized and he feels really bad for doing that. But we talked about what happened and how I want to discipline my son and yelling at him is not how I want him to be disciplined. And he agreed. And said he won't yell at him again. But I am still not happy with him for doing that.

Thanks for the advice! My dad since apologized and he feels really bad for doing that. But we talked about what happened and how I want to discipline my son and yelling at him is not how I want him to be disciplined. And he agreed. And said he won't yell at him again. But I am still not happy with him for doing that.

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