What are your qualifications? My real qualifications are the life experience I bring to create a unique ceremony that best serves you. I am a retired social worker from the City of San Francisco. Outside my profession, I lived in the poetry world for many decades. This is actually a marriage for me, a union of my ability to serve others with empathy and a love of words and poetry. Each ceremony gives me an opportunity to create a moment that is unique and fulfilling. No two stories are alike, and while they all speak ultimately about love, to be able to share what makes your story special, and also be a part of your story for that moment, this is a tremendous honor and a true joy for me! In the past, I was often a featured poet or host of poetry events, and in social work I spoke publicly at many fundraisers, so performing ceremonies comes quite naturally to me. Over the years, I participated unofficially in many Commitment Ceremonies before my Gay & Lesbian brothers and sisters could legally marry. Though I only joined Kenna at NC Secular Weddings last year, I feel as though my whole life has brought me to this amazing opportunity to help others. Couples who have chosen me for their ceremonies did so because of my own story, not because they were looking for a credentialed minister.

I became a member of The American Humanist Association last year and spent almost a full year to deeply consider their endorsement process. I not only became become a Humanist Celebrant, but also decided to be more involved in the AHA. This has been a real journey of defining who I am in the world, what I feel I need to express in our world, especially now with so much at stake in so many ways that directly effect all of us. Now is the time to love even more boldly, compassionately, and to take action!

I also have an online ordination through Universal Life Church Monastery (ULC). Their mission is to offer ordination to anyone, though primarily used by those who wish to marry couples. ULC is a non-denominational, non-profit religious organization with headquarters in Seattle whose mission is to empower those from all faiths, as well as Atheists and Agnostics, to minister ethically in the manner of their choosing as mandated by the First Amendment. This gives me the legal right in North Carolina and most other states to solemnize a wedding ceremony for the marriage license requirements. It also gives me the authority to refer to myself as a "Minister", if a couple feels the need to fall back on that for whatever reason, as long as I'm not expected to perform a religious ceremony.

Are you associated with a traditional religious group? Please refer to Kenna’s FAQ for her wonderful description of the rich history of The Humanist Society and what it means to be a non-religious Humanist Celebrant. While I am not associated with a traditional religion, I can and do embrace the faith traditions of others, so long as that expression does not impinge upon the rights or freedoms of others. At NC Secular Weddings and NC Secular Services we hold the tenet that each person’s spirituality is as unique as a fingerprint. One of the main reasons I chose to become a member of AHA is to align with a group that works to maintain the true religious freedom this country was founded upon, which includes the right to choose Atheism, or define as Agnostic. This freedom necessarily includes the separation of Church and State, to which this organization dedicates much of its resources.

How is a Secular Humanist approach to a wedding ceremony different than a traditional religious ceremony? The actual ceremony might look very similar, as many of the wedding traditions are more cultural than religious. The approach however, is about your love, and what makes this ancient ritual soulful and meaningful for you and yours, rather than following a set of guidelines a particular faith tradition has outlined as necessary. The State has requirements to be legally wed, mainly regarding the marriage license, and states vary in their requirements. In North Carolina, the one requirement of the ceremony, other than those for the marriage license, is the statement of intention (to live together as a wedded couple). This leaves a lot of room to be as free of traditions as one chooses! That being said, most couples actually want a version, albeit more uniquely their own, of what they have seen and known throughout their lives as a celebration of the union of two people committing to the journey of creating a life together. My task is to determine how to make this ceremony the most meaningful and soulful one that expresses your love best. We are all unique individuals; no two couples are the same, so this approach is a very personalized one.

How did you get started as a Wedding Officiant? I often thought about becoming a minister as an alternative to social work, a very stressful profession, where the responsibilities weighed heavily on me and society’s inequities challenged those I served every day. This was not a serious thought, because going to seminary school was not really an option and I could never commit to a religion anyway. Rather, I longed to serve people during the profound moments of their lives: the births, deaths, weddings, all the rites of passage, and milestones. I knew people in California who were creating their own spiritual communities and officiating weddings and other services with an online, easy to obtain ULC ordination and I wanted to do this too. However, it wasn’t until I moved to North Carolina and turned 60; on that 60th birthday, I said to myself, “I know I have to do this. What am I waiting for?” Since that moment it is as if the power of intention swung the doors open to invite me in. My next-door neighbor introduced me to Kenna; she sent me two referrals for weddings on dates she was already booked. They both went so wonderfully well that if I needed encouragement to continue, I got it. The opportunity to join forces with Kenna at NC Secular Weddings sealed the deal. There is no going back. The education and support provided by the American Humanist Association to their Humanist Celebrants is a huge benefit which gives this new endeavor a more solid foundation upon which to grow. I couldn’t be more excited about this time in my life and what I have to offer others through this vocation.

What other services do you provide? ​Our sister site, NC Secular Services, focuses on services other than weddings. Memorials are a primary focus for me, as death has been a big part of my life path. I considered, even researched, attending mortuary school (more seriously than I ever considered attending seminary school). I also spent a year prior to becoming a social worker as an arrangement counsellor for a cremation and funeral service company. Creating meaningful rituals for all the moments that define a life, and then continue to live in the heart as memories, this is my deepest desire and my mission.