When crew members have to point to all the doors during the safety demonstration, the voice says:

“There are eight emergency exits on the aircraft, and the crew will do the Macarena and point them out to you now.” * (Video link at end)

They even joke about the crime rate:

“Please check the overhead storage, the seat pocket in front of you as well as your neighbor's bag for all of your nice goodies.”

* But Kulula still lags behind Southwest Airlines of the US, traditionally the world’s wittiest airline.

Some stewards even rap, like this guy above.

But most just frame the boring announcements they have to make with jokes.

Here are four typical lines:

1) “If you don’t like our service, we have six emergency exits.”

2) “Cabin crew are coming down the aisle to make sure that your seatbelts are on and your shoes match your outfit.”

3) “To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. If you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised.”

4) “Make sure to take all your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.” * Sometimes the witty lines have a purpose. On Southwest, the flight attendants say:

"The button over your head with the picture of a light bulb on it turns on your light. The button with the picture of the flight attendant does NOT turn on your flight attendant so DON'T PUSH IT.”

* But a flight attendant working in Asia told me that there was one Southwest line that she wished her bosses would allow her to copy:

“This is a non-smoking, non-whining, non-complaining flight.”

* But let’s finish with a story that takes us back to the cheery subject of Asian airlines and imminent death.

Picture the scene.

An Air Koryo jet is moving down the runway in Pyongyang, North Korea.

Suddenly it stops and goes back to the gate.

After a two-hour delay, it finally takes off.

A passenger asks: “So, what was the problem?”

The steward replies: “The pilot was bothered by the fact that the engine didn’t sound right. So we took immediate action. It took a couple of hours to replace the pilot.” * Welcome to Asia. Now sit back and enjoy your flight. * T-shirt for Fardel’s daughter * *

Message from Fardel:

This is funny that this video just came out yesterday on youtube. It has been watched by over 4 millions people in less than two days. @Uncle Did you make it?