Why do clueless bozos often man the kitchens in South Indian restaurants? Is there a conspiracy to give the nice South Indian food a bad rap.

Do the cooks take a peek at hapless patrons from their safe perch in the kitchen and have a sadistic laugh at their plight?

Convenient Location, Modest Decor

The epicenter of our bad Karma lies at the intersection of N Cass Ave and Ogden in Westmont, IL. For that’s where Shree South & North Indian Cuisine Vegetarian Restaurant is located.

Things started out well with easy parking and quick seating.

Perhaps the near-immediate seating at 1 pm on a Sunday should have set off alarm bells that a more alert diner would have heard and beaten a hasty retreat.

The restaurant appears quite modest from outside with the typical clutter of Indian magazines and Desi newspapers. The interiors are neat and simple.

The tables were well arranged and water was served instantly.

Shree Menu

To my cheap desi dismay, the Lunch Buffet is available only on weekdays.

Schade!

The menu was neat but the first thing that caught my caviling eye and evoked a chuckle was how they misspelled Vadai as Vedai.

That was the last time I laughed at Shree.

Shree's awkward menu packs a random selection of South and North Indian items. It has a confused and incomplete feel to it perhaps due to the owner's ambivalence on whether to go all out South Indian or not.

Tell me, was the owner jerking off to desi porn while deciding the menu and prematurely ejaculated this list. How else can you explain these glaring anomalies:

* Special Vegetable Rice but No Vegetarian Biriyani
* South Indian Thali but no North Indian Thali
* Dal Kandhahari but no Dal Makhani / Yellow Dal
* Chapati but no Naan/Roti

Why?? Tell me, why??

And before I forget, they have a travesty called Prantha. I'll come to it later.

Being the forgiving kind, I decided to ignore these egregious blunders mistakes and focus on ordering what they offered.

The Food

Rose Milk and Badam Kheer gave us a promising start that camouflaged the devilishly bad experience that was about to unfold.

Rose Milk
While neither of the drinks gave us any orgasmic fits, they were fairly good, especially the Rose milk.

Badam Kheer was fine but a little thin for my liking.

Badam Kheer
The drinks were followed by Vegetable Soup, a barely palatable salty concoction of Tomato and Carrot puree which we hoped was a onetime aberration.

Little did we know of the further miseries on the road ahead.

Vegetable Soup – A No-No
Our hunger and anticipation was somewhat insulted by the appearance of the Vegetable Cutlets.

I asked him for a plate of one Iddly, one Medu Vadai and one Masala Vadai and charge me accordingly but the clown stood there completely bewildered and went on to decline my request with the apologetic shit "My owner does not allow mixing orders, sir". He also went on with a most absurd story "Our customer order combo of Dahi Vada and Sambar Vada and the owner asked not to take such orders".

Verdict – Avoid Shree

There are numerous Indian restaurants in Shree's proximity that serve far better South and North Indian food.

Shree's patrons are either completely unaware of what is Indian food or they must love crap.