fauxllandaise.

Hey, world.

Depsite what you might glean from my day job (human toilet for emotional vomit, occasional actual toilet for actual vomit) I like taking the path of least resistance. I like doing things the easy way. And by “easy” I mean I’m poor. Oh and lazy.

I also want hollandaise on everything all the time. But all I know about hollandaise is that I’d have to do something with egg yolks and I am immediatly like eff that ess.

So I make fake hollandaise > fakellandaise > fauxllandaise.

Let me paint you a picture:

um ya.

a lot of greek yogurt. a few plops of mayo. a teaspoon of good dijon mustard. juice from half a lemon. a few tabasco squirts. a few WORCHESTERSHIRE squirts. a little shimmy of paprika. salt. pep.

mix it all up in a bowl until its smooth and creamy, let it come to room temperature and drizzle it. you drizzle that.