Kerry almost lost me tonight with his "reporting for duty" salute. So I blew off the tedious family tributes to go walk the dog. I would rather watch my dog produce sh_t than listen to John Kerry's sh_t.

A short while after tuning back in, I picked up the vibe that we are in dire straits. We need help. Forget W and his corporate puppet-masters, we need help: "America can do better, and help is on the way."

Heh. Don't worry. We're from the government and we're here to help you.

Inspiration struck. What we need is a nanny. A nanny with a funny-talking sidekick:

Update: On a similar wavelength:

"Ok, so if we elect Kerry-Edwards, people will never have any bills to pay, we won't have to work long hours ever again, and there will be no more dangerous wars? And I suppose everyone gets a pony, too?" - The Poliblogger, via Wizbang.

D'oh! a State, a nanny State,
ray, a laser from my gun,
me, a guy who can aim straight
fah, the distance to the sun.
so, I think I'll vote for Bush,
La-La Land is on the coast,
tea? I'd rather have a Busch,
but that'd bring me back to D'oh!