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This was taken while I was on tour for my album Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie. I was travelling a lot and whenever I came back to my hometown, Ottawa, I would rush over to my grandmother’s house.

She was a real maternal force in my life and a very mischievous person, the kind of woman who would drop ice cubes down our shirts when we weren’t looking. My step-grandfather took this photo – I have about 100,000 photos from that time in my life, but this one stands out especially as she isn’t here any more.

She escaped from Hungary with my mother, aunt and grandfather during the revolution in 1956, with just the clothing on their backs. They didn’t speak a word of English and they made a life for themselves in Canada, and my mom eventually became an English teacher. Their vision and fortitude is inspiring to me – she had been through so much but somehow was still giggling.

Looking at this photo, I would let myself know that it is OK to lean on peopleAlanis Morissette

At the time I was living in Los Angeles, but home was in my grandmother’s arms. We would sit on the floor with our feet up on the couch and nap in the afternoons. My grandmother was attuned to me in a way that was comforting during a difficult time. This increased tenfold after she spent 24 hours on tour with me, along with my step-grandad, sleeping in the bunks and all.

At that time I didn’t realise how important her physical touch was to centre me. Looking at this photo, I would let myself know that it is OK to lean on people – back then everyone was obsessed with doing things themselves, and we were, as a culture, celebrated for being islands. I’ve realised only in the past five years that it is OK to ask for help.

We’re at a point where some of my lyrics from that time seem even more appropriate – they’re relevant enough for me not to cringe when I sing them.

At the time radio stations would say, 'We can’t play this, we’re already playing Sinéad O’Connor or Tori Amos,’ as if there was only room for one woman. I’m glad that has changed and that I may have played a small part in this change.

For a long time there was a part of me that didn’t want this lifestyle, because it was too lonely, frankly. I kept going because I could see that people were being supported and uplifted. I feel as though I’m still wrapping my head around that version of fame 20 years later.

I tried to create a little fortress around me, yet slowly I have become more open to people interacting with me online. Now I get to hear their stories, and that is so much more interesting to me than my own story.