Magic’s Eggin’ On Dirk

So, Magic Johnson said Dirk Nowitzki needs to walk up to a Warriors player Thursday and smack him.
He said the Warriors took Dallas’ heart last year, and the Mavericks have to get it back. Magic said the way to do it was to start a fight. Just straight up punch somebody and prove to the Warriors, to his team and to the NBA nation that he is not a soft superstar.
For the record, this is a crazy idea. I get what he’s saying, but this is about as absurd a suggestion as you’ll ever hear. We don’t need a Brawl III. But I don’t need to wax poetic on that. It’s a given his suggestion is a bad one.
Never mind the poor sportsmanship, it wouldn’t work. If Dirk did what Magic proposed, he wouldn’t be showing he has heart. He would be conceding he’s the NBA’s Tin Man. The way to prove he and the Mavericks have the mental toughness to be in the class of San Antonio and Detroit, etc., is to get it done in crunch time, in the postseason. Dirk punching a Warrior would be the equivalent of Mike Tyson biting Evander Holyfield’s ear, or my dad backing me down and bulling me over when I was 12 and one basket away from beating him one-on-one for the first time.
That said, it is an interesting thought Magic proposed. One thing’s for sure, if Dirk is going to fire on someone, now is the time to do it – while Stephen Jackson is stuck watching the game on TV from his couch. Jax might completely forget about his newest tattoo.
I can’t help but think, ‘If I’m Dirk, who do I prove my manhood against?’ Well, here are the top candidates. Who are you voting for Dirk to punch?

Monta Ellis: He’s fraile and short, which plays right into Dirk’s hands. But Monta is super quick. Plus, he’s from the ‘hood of Mississippi, so you know he has heart.

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Matt Barnes: Maybe that’s a bad idea. Barnes is obviously not averse to mixing it up.

Patrick O’Bryant: He has a reputation for being soft. While he’s comparable in reach, Dirk is quicker. This could go really bad for Dirk if Patrick goes Bobby Bouchet and starts envisioning Nellie’s head on Dirk’s body.

Al Harrington: He’s one of the nicest, most jovial guys in the NBA. But Harrington is in great shape, he’s stronger and he’s friends with Stephen Jackson. Bad choice.

Baron Davis: It’s been said if you want to prove a point, walk up to the leader of the click and clock him in front of his boys. That would be Baron. But again, this is one of Jackson’s best friends, which means he may get a surprise visit later.

Andris Biedrins: Dre may resemble Jim Carey’s character in Dumb and Dumber in this photo, but does Dirk really want to challenge a tough Latvian? Beans is a cool cat, but he strikes me as the type you don’t want to make mad.