Gwyneth Paltrow Gets Real: "I Know Who I Am, and I Own My Mistakes"

Gwyneth Paltrow is in a state of deep focus. The new Goop office is under construction—"it's like a dust bowl," she says with a laugh—so today she's helming her company from the kitchen island of her Los Angeles home. Fitting, considering it was at her kitchen table (then in London) that Paltrow, 43, started Goop as a newsletter to friends nearly eight years ago. Since then, she has built Goop into a global brand: It has produced sought-after collaborations with Valentino and Stella McCartney; opened pop-up shops; and brought terms like conscious uncoupling and vaginal steaming to the masses (the first a description of her amicable split from husband Chris Martin of Coldplay; the second, a way to cleanse one's uterus—don't try it at home). Her presence has also unwittingly exposed a dirty little secret: As fans, we provide actresses with wealth and fame, only to scoff when they actually lead that rich and famous lifestyle publicly. We want these stars to be "just like us." But Paltrow's life simply isn't. She won't pretend that she shops at the dollar store for beauty products or feeds her kids, Apple, 11, and Moses, 9, a steady diet of fast food; nor

Gwyneth Paltrow is in a state of deep focus. The new Goop office is under construction—"it's like a dust bowl," she says with a laugh—so today she's helming her company from the kitchen island of her Los Angeles home. Fitting, considering it was at her kitchen table (then in London) that Paltrow, 43, started Goop as a newsletter to friends nearly eight years ago. Since then, she has built Goop into a global brand: It has produced sought-after collaborations with Valentino and Stella McCartney; opened pop-up shops; and brought terms like conscious uncoupling and vaginal steaming to the masses (the first a description of her amicable split from husband Chris Martin of Coldplay; the second, a way to cleanse one's uterus—don't try it at home).

Her presence has also unwittingly exposed a dirty little secret: As fans, we provide actresses with wealth and fame, only to scoff when they actually lead that rich and famous lifestyle publicly. We want these stars to be "just like us." But Paltrow's life simply isn't. She won't pretend that she shops at the dollar store for beauty products or feeds her kids, Apple, 11, and Moses, 9, a steady diet of fast food; nor will she apologize for the lifestyle her success has afforded her. And that mentality has exposed her to a certain amount of snark. But so be it. Paltrow remains resolutely herself, talking honestly to women about her life, sharing her style and discoveries, and inspiring the next mom/entrepreneur/dreamer to ignore the naysayers and stay the course—an attitude that's helped Paltrow push her ever-growing empire forward.

Next up: Conquering the beauty world. As the new creative director of makeup for Juice Beauty, she collaborated with the company on a line of organic makeup this winter. And this month, in further partnership with Juice, Goop marks another first, the launch of its own organic skin care line, Goop Skincare. Paltrow took the past year off from acting in order to focus on Goop; of the company's now 40 full-time employees, 39 are women. Paltrow says she shares her "amazing partner" Lisa Gersh's objective "to make each of these girls a CEO."

All of which means that right now Paltrow doesn't have time for the haters. At home she exudes comfort in her own skin. "I've always done things kind of my own way," she says. "As long as I can keep doing things my own way, I think I'll feel successful." Amen.

Read our interview with Paltrow below. For more, pick up the March issue of Glamour on newsstands, subscribe now, or download the digital edition.

GLAMOUR: First of all, I have to say, I'm from Alabama, so I wear mascara to the gym—

GWYNETH PALTROW: You do?

GLAMOUR: Yes. So I know makeup. I heard that you named the new Juice lipstick colors that you worked on after your friends.

GP: The line is made in California, so I was thinking of my California posse: Cameron, Blythe, Apple, Drew, Reese, Kate, Chelsea.

GLAMOUR: You seem to have a really strong girl gang.

GP: I do. If you were to ask me what my biggest success is, it's that

I've been able to maintain and nourish my relationships. As you get older, you choose friends based on not only what feels resonant and warm but if they're bringing something to your life. My women friends are incredibly intelligent. There's no posturing, no competition. Especially in Los Angeles, I see pockets of friends who are very competitive, and I think, What is the point? I would rather be alone in bed with a book than have a girlfriend who is like that.

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GLAMOUR: So true. For the new Goop Skincare, I heard you've been working closely with scientists on formulations, textures, and aromas; you've been choosing packaging, everything.

GP: With the skin care line, I'm a little bit nuts. There's no point in making something unless it's better than anything you've ever found. So I gave everyone [at Juice] a run for their money. My head of beauty started calling me the Princess and the Pea; one time we agreed on a sample, and I said, "Perfect." Then another sample of it came, and I was like, "They changed it." Some preservative changed, I could tell, and they were like, "Sh-t." [Laughs.] But in the end, I'm proud of what we were able to do. This is effective, luxurious, and completely organic…. You could eat it.

GLAMOUR: You wouldn't recommend that, though!

GP: I mean, no. [Laughs.] But you could! It's completely nontoxic.

GLAMOUR: This partnership is one way Goop has expanded over the last year. At what point did you go from "I've started this newsletter at my kitchen table" to "I'm gonna scale—let's go big"?

GP: I saw a challenge, and I'm very motivated by challenge. It hit me one day: People have [funding] and structure, but they don't have a brand. Creating a brand is really difficult. I had a brand but no money or structure. I had done the hard part. The authenticity was there—whether you like the brand or not, you can't challenge its authenticity. At a certain point, I went, "OK, I want to see what we can do."

GLAMOUR: You've been eloquent about the criticism female entrepreneurs like you, Jessica Alba, and Reese Witherspoon face when you branch out from acting—and how men like Justin Timberlake or George Clooney are treated differently when they create brands.

GP: I think it's appalling. And the worst part of it is how [critics] try to pit us against each other. The energy could not be more opposite. We help each other; we consult each other.

GLAMOUR: The presumed drama and division. They don't say, "George Clooney said this about Justin Timberlake's tequila."

GP: Right. It's so incredibly sexist. But I think we're in the midst of creating a new archetype of a woman, and we're gonna get there. And I've never minded pushing anything along, taking some slings and arrows. Our daughters will look at us and be like, "Oh, so you get to work and be a mommy and wear beautiful lipstick." I mean, when they have a hole in their uniform, I sew it. I make the food;

I bathe them. And I'm a sexual being and a powerful woman and entrepreneur. I'm all of those things. We now realize that we have permission to be everything.

GLAMOUR: Women have been starting businesses at a higher rate than men for the last 20 years. Do you have any advice for a Glamour reader who is launching a business of her own?

GP: Self-belief is everything. Whether you want to start a law firm or a jewelry business, women get pushback, societally. People will be like, "This is a bad idea." You have to have enough self-belief to see where you're gonna end up and not let anybody derail you.

GLAMOUR: When you face scrutiny—what do you do with that negative energy?

GP: Sometimes I'll get annoyed if someone's like, "Goop is so expensive." I'm like, "Have you looked at the website? Have you seen the range of price points? 'Cause we sell things that are $8." I'm like, "If you want to f--k with me, bring your A-game. At least have all your information." Once in a while, if I'm exhausted and overwhelmed, I'll be like, "Ugh, that bugs me," or, "That hurt my feelings." But very rarely. I don't lose sleep over it. It's my business to live my life and learn my lessons. I don't care what anybody else thinks.

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GLAMOUR: Really, truly?

GP: Yeah, really, truly. Maybe when I was 25 that would have been different. But I'm 43 years old, and I know who I am, and I own my mistakes. They're my business. And when somebody who doesn't know me has an opinion, it's none of my business.

GLAMOUR: It's not like your mom's sitting down and being like, "Gwyneth, we need to talk." It's a total stranger.

GP: Exactly. I remember my dad once sat me down when I was 25 or 26. I was in the middle of this storm of success, and my dad was like, "You're getting weird." [Laughs.] I was like, "Oh my God, I am. Oh, sh-t." I mean, I got it. I thought I was so awesome for a minute.

GLAMOUR: There's nothing like your parents' taking you to task.

GP: He was like, "Let's stop this bullsh-t now." I was like, "Oops."

GLAMOUR: Your mom has said, "I think it's worrisome when fame happens to your child so early." Did you feel that worry from your mother when you were first making your way in Hollywood?

GP: It wasn't like she sat around and worried. But I think it's sort of that philosophical thing at night, when you think about your kids and the trajectory they're on…. I was like, "This is what I'm doing." I wasn't that self-reflective about it at the time.

GLAMOUR: What worries do you have for your own kids?

GP: Right now [knocks on table] they're in a really good space. They're smart, they're funny, they have pretty good heads on their shoulders. We'll see what difficulties come with adolescence and what careers they want. Unfortunately, I think they're both gonna be drawn to perform. They're naturals—they sing, act, play guitar, do stand-up—it's brimming out of them. So I feel like my mother. Whenever I said I wanted to be an actress, she said, "Oh no, don't. You're too smart to be an actress. Do something else!"

GLAMOUR: But it worked out OK for you.

GP: Yeah. [But] the landscape of everything is changing. When you think about it from a pragmatic point of view, it's like, "OK, how are you gonna pay your mortgage?"

GLAMOUR: I've read that your parents essentially said to you, "We're gonna provide you with this beautiful childhood, great education, and then you're on your own." Will you do that with your kids?

GP: Yes. Exactly. It's the most motivating. People think, "She's just a rich kid." Until I was 18, I was. Then I was broke. I've never taken a dime off my parents. I'm completely self-made.

GLAMOUR: You had your days of weird roommates and ramen?

GP: Of course! I went to UC Santa Barbara, and when I quit to try to be an actress, my dad was like, "That's great, but I'm not gonna help you." I was like, "Yeah, right." And he was like, "No, I'm not." So I got an apartment with a roommate; I worked as a hostess at a restaurant; I would scrounge quarters to buy Starbucks—and walk there to save gas. I remember once asking my dad for money, like, "Please, I'm really stuck. Can you help?" And he said, "You're more than welcome to come over for dinner." That was it.

GLAMOUR: Good on him.

GP: Those were the days. Enough to know the value of money.

GLAMOUR: You'll have been working in film for 25 years by the time this article comes out.

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GP: Oh my God. Is that true? F--k.

GLAMOUR: Your first films—Shout and Hook—came out in 1991. Is what you have now what you envisioned success to be back when you were getting your foot in the door?

GP: Yeah, I think so. You do look back and think, How cool that I'm Margot Tenenbaum in The Royal Tenenbaums. Those iconic films. [But] I wanted to create a career where I had success and freedom. Part of that freedom has been making a crazy left turn and starting a business.

GLAMOUR: Switching gears, let's talk about conscious uncoupling. It was a crazy phenomenon, but the message behind it was one I don't think people talk about enough: How do you go through a divorce and stay a family?

GP: Right. And isn't that the ideal? Well, the ideal is to stay married. But if you can't stay married, wouldn't the ideal be that you could still be a family and you could put aside your own stuff long enough to explore—what is this new family and who am I in it? And Chris is a great ex-husband 'cause he's a very, very willing partner in how to do that. We're constantly putting aside our own stuff and trying to reimagine something that we don't personally have an example for.

GLAMOUR: "A great ex-husband." What does that mean to you?

GP: Well, if you have children together, number one is a dedication to what's best for the kids. We put a lot of thought into how to do it so that the damage would be minimized.

GLAMOUR: What does remaining a family look like these days, for the Martin-Paltrow clan?

GP: We spend a lot of time together. He's been away for two weeks [promoting his album]. Last night he got in at midnight and slept here so he could surprise the kids in the morning, we could all have breakfast, and he could take them to school. So…we're not living together, but he's more than welcome to be with us whenever he wants. And vice versa: I sleep in his house in Malibu a lot with the kids. We'll have a weekend all together; holidays, we're together. We're still very much a family, even though we don't have a romantic relationship. He's like my brother.

GP: That was based on the time after my father died [in 2002]. I was so traumatized by his death; one of the things that surprised me so much was how the world kept going in its complete flurry of events. I couldn't reconcile it, I was so devastated, and my heart was so broken. I wouldn't say I wrote the lyrics. I would say that concept inspired Chris. Then he said, "Will you come and sing?" So I went.

GLAMOUR: I'm not going to pry into your current romantic life [with her reported boyfriend Brad Falchuk, a TV producer]. But I'm curious: Do you like the independence of being single, or do you feel like you're someone who thrives in relationships?

GP: I've always been very independent. Even in relationships, I'm focused on the quality of my life and not enmeshing myself so much with somebody else's experience. But I think there's incredible value in being married.

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GLAMOUR: So you could see yourself getting married again?

GP: I don't know. I guess so. I mean, I believe in marriage. But I'm not even divorced yet! So give me a minute. [Laughs.]

GLAMOUR: Okay, okay. [Laughs.] You said in 2015 that you weren't going to film anything and needed to focus on your business.

GP: I'm having so much fun building this business, and it's a huge responsibility. It's not a side job. The more it can run without me, the more I'll be able to go back to acting. For now, I feel fulfilled.