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As I wrote yesterday, the bed was expected to be delivered today. But without the nightstands, we were going to wait to put it together.

Today, five large boxes arrived at our house on a pallet. Three boxes contained all the parts for the bed as well as the two drawers that go underneath the bed.

The other two boxes contained the nightstands.

O.M.G.

Furthermore, the construction of this furniture is unbelievable. I’ve unpacked all the pieces in preparation for assembly tomorrow. It’s almost like people who knew BDSM designed this thing. It is unbelievably sturdy and solid. I’ve never purchased assemble-at-home furniture of this quality. It’s a bit shocking.

Furthermore, it appears that I will not have to reinforce The Drawer. I can see from the pieces that it should easily support my weight. And once in it, there is no way I could escape it if I was locked in it. Real wood, most pieces a full inch thick.

Mistress is already looking forwards to me sleeping in The Drawer tomorrow night.

This is likely to be my last post as a biological male. Please feel free to follow my gender transition progress in more detail at my BloomingTime blog here on WordPress. When I next post, I’ll have traded my penis for a vagina. I’m quite excited to take this final step (Gender Confirmation Surgery)! In other news…

My wife / Mistress has been talking more about wanting heterosexual intercourse herself. My penis has not been functional (due to the feminizing hormones) for over year now. I, of course, desperately want her to be happy in all ways. So we keep talking about her having sex with men.

Even though I’m transitioning from male to female, I still want a woman for my LTR. However, I also love to have sex with men. Mistress knows this. She’s arranged for it before, and it will be up to her to decide what men will have me in the future. She also knows I have both rape and gang-bang fantasies.

Last week she sat me down so we could watch a few videos together. They were about swinging, something she’s done in the past (before we met). She also knows a couple who hosts swinging parties. At some point, once I’m fully healed (6 months?) she’s talked about arranging for us to both attend one of those parties. She’s even pondering us going to one of the larger swinging conventions/events. Wow.

Last weekend Mistress and I attended a BDSM play party for the first time in about a year. The location was new, and the dungeon was smaller. But there were a lot of people there we knew, which was awesome. We brought a friend for his first exposure to real-life, serious kinksters. We call him our “kinkling”. He got to see a few scenes and meet some great folks.

Although we brought two of our “toy bags”, Mistress had decided that we wouldn’t play with our kinkling present (it would be too awkward for all of us at this point). But she couldn’t help putting me into one scene when we came across one of the dungeon rooms.

Just off of the main dungeon was a little room. It had brick walls, and concrete for floor and ceiling. All it contained was a metal bed and mattress. But the mattress had an institutional 4-point restraint system at the ready. My knees got weak.

Institutional Restraint System

I’ve had fantasies about these kinds of restraints for decades, but I’d never experienced them personally. Mistress saw to that when she realized the effect they had on me.

Fully clothed, she had me lay down, and she quickly tightened them around my wrists and ankles. She kissed me on the forehead, smiled her evil smile, and left. I was “alone” and quickly determined that I could not reach any of the ties, so I literally could not escape. Easy and 100% effective full-body bondage.

Over the next 15 minutes, my mind went wild. I fast forwarded to being post-surgery, naked, and exposed to anyone. My ankles were apart, so I couldn’t close my legs. The feeling of vulnerability was stunning, and the fear this evoked surprised me. In my mind I was blindfolded or hooded and left as a plaything for whoever wanted to explore or use my body. At times I fought and thrashed and struggled against my bonds, of course to no avail.

I was sweating by the time Mistress returned and released me. It took me some time to get fully back to the present, it was that intense. She said she could see it in my eyes; she knows me well. I can’t imagine what the next time will be like. But she said I will certainly experience them again.

She also told me that a DM (dungeon monitor) talked to her as soon as she left me “alone”. She explained that she wanted me to think she was leaving me there (a mind-fuck she has used on me before), but that she would be keeping a close eye on me. I knew in this case that I was 100% safe, even if she had gone upstairs to mingle and munch with others. But it was nice to know that good dungeon safety protocols were being followed and enforced.

Just a reminder that everything in my blog is completely true. I am so thrilled to be living this life. I love my wife / Mistress with all my heart. Thanks for coming along on this journey with me.

Things are getting so exciting! Today I sent my paperwork to the surgeon that I’ve selected to do my Gender Confirmation Surgery. Within a week I should have a tentative date for exchanging my boy parts for girls parts. I’m so excited!

My hope and plan is to create some additional pages here about the FIVE surgeons I interviewed as part of my selection process. Everyone has have different criteria for such a choice, but I know it helped me to read online about other peoples’ information and experiences.

The second thing I’m excited about is that my wife is planning a special event for me now, just prior to surgery. This is a BDSM event that is likely to be one of the peak experiences of my life. In many ways, another dream come true!

My wife and I have met Ms. Cleo Dubois (and her fascinating partner Fakir Musafar) in person at an intense local BDSM event several years back. We also have several of her movies (Tie Me Up, and The Pain Game — both awesome). My wife also did a little phone counseling with Ms. Dubois much earlier in our marriage, related to our budding Dominant/submissive relationship.

Anyway, my wife/Mistress has decided that she is going to arrange for Ms. Dubois to have a BDSM scene with me before my surgery. All the details are up to the two of them, and she has said she won’t be telling me anything about it.

Now a regular kinky scene with someone else in our local scene is usually very nice — intense, wonderful, painful (and of course fully consensual) — all those things a good BDSM scene should be.

But I can’t put into words the commanding presence and energy that Ms. Dubois brings to a scene. You can get a sense for it in her movies, and we were fortunate enough to see it in person.

My wife and I know that we have the intense level of energy exchange during our play that will make this an utterly amazing scene. We know because other people have seen it as they have watched us play, and afterwards they seek us out and let us know. So I feel confident that I can be a worthy plaything of Ms. Dubois, and make my Mistress proud.

My knees get weak just thinking about submitting to her. My behavior will have to be perfect, in order to please both her and my wife. It’s erotic and frightening, thrilling and scary.

I sure hope my surgery date isn’t too far in the future. I’m not sure how long I can stand the anticipation of both of these amazing events!

My spouse, Mistress, and keyholder took me to a kinky party yesterday, but left me in chastity. However, I was luckier than another guy we saw there.

It’s been over 5 weeks since my last orgasm, and 23 days of continuous lock-up in my JailBird + PA-lock. Last night, though, I watched a poor guy get teased to an unbelievable degree — and he’s been denied orgasms for 57 days.

His owner had bound him (naked of course) to a suspended leather sling with plastic wrap in the dungeon at this party. She then proceeded to sexually tease him for a solid hour, stroking his cock and stopping before he could orgasm. A small audience watched.

If he got too close, she would give him some “distracting pain” to “help” him avoid an orgasm. Things like slapping the head of his cock really hard with her hand, or grabbing his balls and squeezing them hard. He got close to cumming time after time after time. But he never spurted.

I’m not sure what their agreement was, but he was begging not to orgasm. In the end he got his wish, but not before what seemed like an unbearable amount of substantial penile stimulation. His owner knew how to get him off, her hand-job technique was clearly effective. He was hard the whole time, and making the most interesting noises throughout.

His scene was still going on when Mistress decided it was time for me to submit to her and our friend. She took out our lightest leather bondage hood and secured it tightly around my head. It has a snap-on blindfold and a snap-in gag, which she left out initially.

She led me over to a bondage table, with webbing for dozens of straps to bind the limbs and torso. I’d been on it before, and knew what to do. I removed my clothes and got in position to be tied down.

Mistress kept it simple, using just 5 of the thick nylon straps to secure my wrists, ankles, and waist. Our friend joined us, and I was then blindfolded and gagged. They wasted no time and started tickling me mercilessly. I recognized the voice of the owner of the other chaste male who was tickling my feet and really enjoying watching me thrash and squirm and (try to) yell. Mistress and our friend were at my sides tickling my ribs. I felt completely out of control as my body tried uselessly to move away from the excessive stimulation. They all seemed to have a great time.

Eventually they stopped, and Mistress directed our friend to help calm me down with “smoothing” hand motions on my skin. My breathing slowed, and I settled down.

Then I felt her start stimulating my nipples. Mistress whispered to me that she wanted me to orgasm in front of everyone in our new special way. I nodded to let her know I understood and would try. At this point we’ve only done it a few times, and I wasn’t sure I could do it there in the dungeon. But, wanting to please her, I was going to try.

The nipple stimulation continued, and I continued my deep breathing, focusing not on my cock but on the growing sense of sexuality throughout my body. My cock doesn’t get very hard during these experiences — it’s not a penis-based orgasm. I felt the sensual energy building inside of me.

Then she was biting me. Mistress’ teeth dug into the flesh of my chest as her fingers continued their very arousing motions on my nipples. Then our friend began biting me on the other side, and licking my nipple as she sucked my breast skin into her mouth. The pain mixes with the pleasure for me, taking me deeper and farther.

I heard Mistress ask me if I needed more, and I nodded. The two of them continued stimulating me and biting, until finally I went over the edge. My body shuddered and I felt flushed. I strained against my bonds as I tried to arch my back and spread my legs as the orgasm spread through me. They continued stimulating me and pushing me on, until I went limp. Mistress reminded me to continue breathing as I recovered.

I wasn’t sure what to expect at the party, but it was a very nice scene. Mistress seems very interested in exploring this alternate way of pleasure for me, and she continues to show no interest in my cock. I think it’s her way of encouraging my new female sexuality to emerge.

A number of people seemed surprised when I got undressed before the scene. But I wasn’t sure if that’s because they didn’t realize I was a guy (I was wearing a new hot dress for the party), or if they hadn’t seen a stainless steel chastity cage like mine before. Either way, I was fully on display for quite a while. Being blindfolded, I have no idea who was watching during our scene.

A short while later I was dressed again, fetching Mistress some food and then massaging her feet as she chatted with others. A little while later we were back in the dungeon watching several other scenes, while I was Mistress’ footstool. It was a wonderful evening.

As mentioned in my last post, my wife and I went to a (BDSM) party last night. She looked incredible. She had on a black and silver outfit in an asian style. It was open below her neck, temptingly displaying her cleavage. It fit tightly down to her upper thighs, and her black tights highlighted her very sexy legs. Her black strapped boots sent this message: “I’m in charge.”

I followed here in carrying our things. Upon entry I put on my thick leather locking collar. After greeting friends already in attendance, she sat down on a couch and I knelt at her feet. After several minutes of general chat, she directed me to bring her a small plate of food. I retrieved a few treats, knelt again next to her, and held the plate as she nibbled and continued her conversations.

After a while she told me to retrieve the sign and our handcuffs. She put her finger through the ring in my collar and led me into the dungeon area. She backed me up against a thick wooden post that ran from the floor to the ceiling. “Take off your clothes,” she said, and I complied.

She pulled my arms back and around the post, and locked my wrists together with the handcuffs behind the post. Then she hung the sign around my neck, which read “Take a look at my new piercing!”. The handcuff key was on a carabener, which she clipped to my collar ring – visible to everyone but well out of my reach. She took a step back and looked me over, smiling. “Have fun,” she said, and she walked back to the socializing area.

There wasn’t much I could do but stand there, naked and on display. I could see through the doorway between the dungeon and the mingling room, where my wife sat back down on the couch and started chatting with a friend. Others looked at my predicament and grinned.

Over the next hour just over a dozen people came over to me, read my sign, and took a look at the 8 gauge ring running through the end of my penis. Some just smiled and said “nice”, others asked questions about it. When asked, I admitted that the intention is to utilize it in a few weeks for 100% secure chastity.

Mistress (my wife) stopped by briefly a few times to check on me, and to point out how small tiny was. Without stimulation I was flaccid, and I couldn’t have kept it up for over an hour anyway. To “help me be less embarrassed”, she stimulated my nipples as I stood there. I was able to get about half hard, reinforcing my sense of inadequacy. She whispered to me about some women there who were giggling about how small my cock was, and then she left me there for another while.

It had been over an hour by the time she came to release me. Other scenes were in progress around me, all women in bondage – I was the sole male submissive on the dungeon floor. She had me dress and then attend to her again in the social area. I was happy to be free of the post, holding her plate as she again nibbled on food I had fetched for her.

Fast forward to being home after the party – in bed with her biracial daughter (doll). My wife spent a long time teasing me about not being the father of her “baby”. The doll was between us in bed, her coffee colored skin looking so beautiful against our light colored bedsheets.

I was stroking the baby’s skin and hair, and looked up to see my wife looking at me and smiling. I remarked that she looked happy, and asked her what she was thinking about. She said “Oh, I was just remembering when she was conceived.” I asked her if she wanted to talk more about that. She did.

“It was wonderful. Her father is black, as you know, and I find his body very hot. He is strong, muscular, and has a nice large cock of course.” I asked if it hurt to have something so big inside her. “Oh, not at all,” she said, not missing a beat. “I get so aroused by him, so incredibly wet. He slides into me very easily, and it feels just amazing to have him inside me.” She sighed and I noticed her move one hand down between her legs. “After my first orgasm my pussy juices were just dripping out, on your side of the bed, of course.” I said, “Oh, that’s what that was” and she just smiled.

She went on. “That day, you were at work of course. We were here in our bed, and he was doing me doggie style.” In my mind I saw them both on all fours right here on our bed, his muscular black frame enveloping her petite white body, his hips bucking as his massive black cock slid in and out of her hot, wet, pink pussy.

She continued, “He’s so virile, you know. He pumped so much sperm into me. It’s no wonder I got pregnant. I can feel his powerful spray on my cervix, like this hot blast deep in me. Oh my god, that feels unbelievable.” She stared at me, probably seeing a mixture of shame about my inadequacy and happiness for her pleasure. “So much better than the impotent squirts from your tiny thing,” she added. I looked down, feeling ashamed.

Changing topics, I asked “Does she get to see her father very often?” Without hesitation, my wife explained the situation. “No, he’s not involved. He understand that, as my husband, this baby is now your responsibility. That leaves him free for other things, like spending more time with me. You do realize that I take care of my needs while you’re at work all day?” I replied “Yes, Maam, that’s appropriate.”

“It’s more than appropriate,” she snapped. “Since your wimpy white cock is useless, it’s your fault, and I need to find men who can do what you can’t. Isn’t that right?” I lowered my eyes again and said “Yes, Ma’am, of course.” She went on “It’s not easy for me, you know. I probably have ten, twelve men that I see on a regular basis to keep me satisfied. I’ve been thinking of cutting down to three or four…” her voice trailing off as she seemed to ponder all her lovers.

“Oh, but back to her father”, she suddenly said. “His balls are amazing. They are huge, about the size of peaches. Well, they’d have to be to hold all the black cum that comes out of them. It’s quite a difference from your puny, non-functional, peanut-sized testes.” I could feel my face turning red from the humiliation.

She’s kept all the teasing up consistently lately. Talking about her lovers, my inadequacy, my responsibilities for housekeeping and childcare, etc. She also has been reinforcing that she really has no need for my cock inside her anymore. I’m getting a little worried that she actually means it. Maybe it is her plan, once I’m locked up, to get serious about cuckolding and ignoring my genitals long-term. It feels so strange to want whatever it is that will make her happy, even if it’s that.

I did not accomplish the requirements that my wife/keyholder set out for me to perform at the party last night. I did offer to give BJs to five guys, that was easy. Three said no right away, and there were two maybes. But they didn’t pan out as the evening went on. One had an orgasm with someone else, and the other turned out to be locked in chastity like me.

So I did not get unlocked. I did get put on display for everyone, naked except for my chastity device. She put me in some bondage, and then stimulated my nipples, which is extremely erotic for me. I can go to full erection in under 30 seconds with nipple play, but the cage just turns it into torture. I was bucking my hips and begging to be released — just the spectacle she wanted.

This morning I learned there will be other requirements now before I can be unlocked. She has yet to decide on them and tell me. Today is also a “bath day”, where I will be briefly unlocked to clean “tiny” and the cage. I’m going to ask permission to trim or shave my hair there as well for comfort.

The other man in chastity at the party last night had been locked up for weeks. My wife described in detail, several times to me, how much she enjoyed watching his attentiveness to his keyholder. She clearly wants me to be even more like that to her.

I had some hopes that I might have already had some relief, but no. She may be serious about not letting me have sex with her until next year. At this rate it seems like I may be lucky to have even one orgasm before then. It’s up to her, she has the key.

Saturday was quite a special day, both for my wife/keyholder/mistress and for me. Her birthday was that weekend, and she decided that I would receive birthday spankings on her behalf. Rather than use her age, she set a high goal for me to earn release from chastity and an orgasm: 500 spanks.

With her help we made a little progress towards that during the week: 15. Only 485 spankings to go.

On Saturday we attended a play party with friends. This was a kinky party at a friend’s house in their BDSM dungeon. About 30 people attended. I picked up a Byerly’s birthday cake that was decorated with roses. I asked them to customize the frosting with her name, and to add thorns to the rose stems, which they did.

After we arrived at the party, my wife suggested that I let people know about my predicament. Most folks I asked were happy to help out by spanking my ass. So with my pants at my ankles and my CB-3000 visible, I received scores of birthday spankings. Most used a nice leather paddle that my wife prefers (similar to this but red). However, a few used their bare hands. Before very long I had over 300 and was pretty sore and pink.

Soon a special friend arrived at the party. I had phoned R earlier and asked her to participate in a special scene that my wife had wished for. A short while later the three of us were on the dungeon floor, where R and I stripped and laid down next to each other. My wife put on gloves and proceeded to fist us both at the same time. I was still locked in chastity, but during this scene R had three orgasms. My wife/mistress loved having one hand inside R’s pussy and the other inside my ass.

After that scene we cleaned up and then mingled with our friends some more. I asked for additional spankings. My wife said I had to stop at 480 so she could take over. I suspected she might quit at 499 and leave me locked up for the night. Indeed, at that point she administered the next 19 herself and stopped. I begged and pleaded for one more. To my surprise, she layed into my red rear with one more hard one, bringing my total to 500.

I asked to be unlocked, and she instructed me to retrieve the key from her keyring and ask someone else to unlock me. As it turns out, the couple who introduced my wife and I to each other were at the party, and I asked him to unlock me. He was happy to, as I suspected he might be, since he is also locked up at times. He knew what it meant for me to get unlocked.

Back in the dungeon, my wife had me strip again and lay in a leather sex sling with my legs up (like this but without the ropes). Apparently my orgasm would be here in front of everyone watching. She whispered something to R, who disappeared for a short while. My wife produced our largest dildo (similar to this), ready with a condom and lube. She held it at her waist and started fucking my ass with it. Due to it’s size, this is a very intense experience for me.

R returned and my wife asked her to masturbate me at the same time. A minute later my wife told me to close my eyes, turn my head, and open my mouth. I did so, and someone shoved their cock down my throat. He grabbed my hair and proceeded to fuck my face. I can’t do justice to how amazing this was – to be simultaneously used at both ends and jerked off. With so many sensations going it, it took me a few minutes to focus on the orgasm that was building. But before long I came and came and came. Having been locked up for a week, it was a wonderful orgasm, and the additional penetrations made it even more intense and incredible.

I opened my eyes and recognized D, a substantial presence in the local scene, as he took his cock out of my mouth. We both laughed, since I had sort of owed him this for a while. About a year ago I was crossdressed at another party here. Sitting in his lap, I got him all turned on but then had to run to a scene when my mistress called. Since then he had teased me about “finishing the job”.

Of course I’m locked back up now. My wife has been very appreciative of the dual fisting scene I helped arrange for her. And I’ve been so grateful to her, not only to have had an orgasm, but to have realized such an incredible fantasy with her. We are both aware of how fortunate we are to be together.