Susun Weeds Wise Woman Forum

Welcome to Susun Weed's open space for discussion. Please make yourself at home and post a message or start a discussion. This place is for you to share your questions, concerns, and comments with other wise women like you.

Of course I am able to control the images and thoughts that I have. I used to restrict everything and have rules about what I thought about. And I have experimented with using orgasm as a way to manifest my dreams...but it just doesn't seem natural to me. It strains my head.

Lately I have been letting my mind go wherever it wants during sex, and I tell you.....the images are beyond dirty...and some are extremely messed up. Should I go there anyway? Is it healing on some level? Am I empathically consuming/receiving images of similar vibration that my partner has as well? Almost without fail, the dirtier my thoughts, the more excited my partner gets and then of course I feel better and better, too. I let my mind go to see where exactly it goes on its own...but then the next day it is kind of awkward for me knowing the disgusting-yet somehow strangely healing in a weird, twisted way-images that I allowed myself to have.

I should add that although I am straight, usually these images are with other women, and sometimes it actually feels as if there is healing going on with our spirits. Many of the women I envision I have been envious of in life and so it seems like visualizing in this way is my being's way of coming to terms with everything and just loving each other anyway and going beyond all of that. At first it was kind of hurtful to be visualizing someone that I am already jealous of and having my partner get more excited when that happened...in reality I guess that would be my worst nightmare...but somehow during the act of sex, the boundaries fall away and my mind is open and stretched and there is forgiveness, love and compassion for all. And it is much easier for me to love those other women in that imaginary circumstance, since I have a lot of anger toward many of them in reality.

I think my partner feels it on a primal level...and so do I, as I accept visions of him having sex with other people. It doesn't bother me in that setting. It bothers me when I see him perk up in real life when a beautiful girl enters the room, but at night I could see him or I having sex with an image of a hot woman and it would turn both of us on.

I know this is a somewhat awkward topic, but I was interested in what kind of feedback I would receive on this forum.

Also, none of this has manifested in real life so far, so I am not so sure about manifesting while having sex, although probably intention is what sets it off, and I am certainly not intending any of this to happen in my outer reality.

It sounds very normal what you are expressing and feeling. I think it is wise that you don't attempt to act out this fantasies. Well, perhaps it is wise anyway, it depends on the person. My partner and I went from similar mental imagery to eventually sharing our love making with others. It can be of course the most erotic experience imaginable; however, it isn't without perils. It takes a very secure and grounded person to be able to watch their partner in the throes of sexual pleasure with another, and jealousy if it creeps in at that depth can be a very malignant force and best never chanced unless both partners know they are secure beyond belief.

I wouldn't even tell your partner about visualizing having sexual encounters with other women as he may get so aroused (a weakness of men much to their detriment) and thinking he will be so turned on encourage you to talk about it and possibly even try it. It can go very badly as the man may become extremely jealous if you enjoy the sexual adventure as it is something that he can never provide you so best keep that genie in a bottle. By the way, apparently for even straight women, one of the very most common fantasies is sex with another woman and women who watch pornography (according to a large Internet study) women make up almost 50% of the viewers and the number one genre they watch is, you guessed it, women having sex with women so I think you are quite normal and very healthy.

what you say about your partner seeming to subconsciously be aware of your imagination is interesting because (while this is more than tame compared to the main juice of the topic here lol) I sometimes imagine our chakras and using color healing down there on myself or him or where we are joined and it seems like it creates more excitement for him too all of a sudden. in truth my mind wanders to mundane or fearful stupid places when having sex so I need quite a bit of work, and better play in this aspect. before my current man who is now father to my first and hopefully only lol baby, I only had a few or five partners and didn't exactly care to have sex with any of them. anxiety issues and also really just not being that into any of them I guess, except the first when I was 20. this man now is patient and good in bed but I know I am holding him back unfortunately. I feel that if I heal myself more physically and in general/emotionally/mentally/spiritually etc. that I'll be able to be freer and more spontaneous and adventurous and such.