For years I have been curious of all drugs and try as many as i can find at least once, and around the end of Janruary 2001 I got my hands on 25 grams of Amanita Muscaria off of a botanical website. To say the least it was the worst single experience of my life.

My night started with me eating 10 grams of the shrooms. I have been told this would give a medium to strong hallucinogenic trip, so I ate them with no problem with the taste and an excited feel for trying something new. After 3 hours me and my sitter decided that it wasn't going to work, no effect had taken place and no horrible taste as we had heard came with the shroom. We made the stupid decision to have me eat the rest in 30 minutes if it didn't set in. Well, the time came by and I decided it was down the hatch for them, and I ate all but three of the grams that were left over, and again I waited. Then the horror began in an odd visual, a small fire began crackling on top of the halogen lamp in my living room.

At this point I got drowsy and as much as I tried to stay awake, I could not. In a few minutes, as far as I can figure, I woke up with a sense of understanding that to the day I die I will never be able to tell with words, but the best explanation I can give is that I was traveling from different times to other different times and memories all the way to my death only to repeat the cycle when I died. At this point I had the genius idea that I had died and my life was flashing before my eyes. I panicked. I stood up and ran into the middle of the living room, but could not see one part of my house any longer, it was a full blown visual hallucination. I got close enough to the sitter and could see the slight image of his face, at this point I began uncontrollably screaming and crying, falling to the floor and the changing of visuals began again. I couldnt grasp on to one visual and panicked yet again and tried to run anywhere to get away, but only ran full speed into a wall and collapsed.

Two of the three people at my house now tried to restrain me. The horrible visuals stopped and I relaxed thinking it was over and lay down, so confused that I had no idea that I was under the influence of a drug only that now was the peace I needed. Unfortunately the same hallucinations started again and I somehow found my way to my room where the third person at my house was.

I had not said a word in over 3 hours at this time and the people now feared that I would die under the influence of this as I had been staring, crying, and been in a vacant state as if I had given up on surviving. I had been moved to the couch somehow and rested there, still without the reassurance of speech to my friends, but now began what I thought was a game of spitting to make the visuals stop. And strangely it was working, and finally I was responding to their yelling at me. Most people think this is the comedown of my trip, and if I were only that lucky, it would be, but I now began to watch my friends die before me in horrible ways such as having their necks ripped open by unseen things and people melting. Everyone I held close now went through a sequence of death, and a normal human reaction was displayed after this: I vomited. I would not let this vomit out of my mouth however and one of my friends had to tear my jaw open with his hands in my mouth to let it out so I didn't suffocate to death. At this point I finally began coming down.

I woke up feeling fine and didn't even fully remember the experience for the next month. Through all my experiences with drugs, this was my worst. I believe it as more of a poison than a drug, and I would wish this on no one, not even my worst enemies. This was however my wake-up call to be more careful in my drug use from now on, and the true value and importance of sitters and friends.

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