What Men and Women Fantasize About (They Have a Lot in Common!)

Women fantasize about accepting Ryan Gosling's marriage proposal, while men imagine getting it on with the latest Maxim cover girl ... right? Not so much!

A recent study from the University of Granada, to be published in the Spanish journal Anales de Psicologia, finds that both sexes have intimate and romantic sexual fantasies about the same thing — not celebrities and Victoria’s Secret models, but rather, sex with their partners!

The researchers, who studied survey questions answered by 2,500 Spanish men and women who had been in heterosexual relationships for at least six months, found that men and women largely fantasize about the same things. Plus, nearly 100 percent of respondents had sexual fantasies, which means fantasizing about sex is most definitely not just a guy thing.

“As sexually empowered women, we know that we are visually stimulated,” Amy Levine, sex coach and founder of Ignite Your Pleasure,
tells HealthySELF, adding that she’s not surprised by the results of the study. “Women can — and do — fantasize often.” Levine says that there’s an impression that men and women have different types of fantasies, but this study points to that not being the case.

However, it does seem to be the case that men spend more time fantasizing than women do, as reported by the study researchers, who found a few other differences between the sexes: women have “pleasant romantic fantasies” more frequently than men, while men fantasize more frequently about exploratory sexual activities, such as group sex and “being a swinger.”

No matter what you’re fantasizing about, it’s a healthy, normal activity that Levine says can help your sex life. “It’s absolutely natural to have sexual fantasies, whether you’re alone or with a partner,” says Levine. “Fantasies can amp up your arousal, escalate sensations that are happening in real time and bring you over the edge,” she says.

“Fantasies also allow you to explore a realm of pleasure that you may not feel comfortable trying in real life,” adds Levine. “Fantasizing can also help you envision how a certain situation may play out before you give it a try.”

Feel like you’re not good at fantasizing? You’re not alone! “I do think a lot of smart, articulate, savvy women don’t know how to fantasize,” says Levine. However, she says, the only “rule” is that there are no rules. “It’s just an image of a sexy clip in your mind that can last a few seconds, or a longer mental movie that can be incorporated into your life at any point — during your commute as a type of daydream, alone in bed or when you’re with your partner.” (Because you know he’s doing it, too!)