Greater New Orleans

Ten Benefits of Sleep Deprivation

10. You can speak your mind. Well, you’re tired and you’re grumpy,
right? So you can say whatever you want, and just follow it up with,
“Sorry, I’m tired.” Sure you may get “the look,” but you’ll be
forgiven. Use this opportunity to say those little things you usually
have the good sense not to say. You know you want to. Be a little rude
and grumpy, and enjoy the new found personal space.

9. More time for productivity. If you’re not sleeping, you might as
well be doing something. Got a book you need to catch up on? A movie
you’ve been meaning to watch? 2 am is a great time for productivity!
So go ahead! Put those shelves in you’ve been meaning to do! Vacuum
the hall, or go clean out the attic. It’s time to get things done!

8. It lets your family see your emotional side. I don’t know about
you, but when I’m sleep deprived my emotions are fragile. Sure I get
grumpy, but I also get my feelings hurt easy. Guys, this is a great
time to show your wife your emotional side. Bring out the chick flicks
and let the tears flow! Cuddle up and let her comfort you! If things
go well, you may have a very good reason to remain sleep deprived for at least one more night!

7. Lack of rationality can lead to creativity. It has been said by
Merit Antares that “The only cure for writer’s block is insomnia.” I’m
at my most creative when I am at my least alert. Why? Because my
subconscious brain runs amuck. And my subconscious brain can come up
with some really weird stuff. It may be out there or a little silly,
but once you finally get some rest and start thinking rationally you’ll
appreciate the creative genius sparked by lack of sleep.

6. It gives you an excuse to try gourmet coffee. If you’re going to
be sleep deprived, you need something to sustain you through the day.
But drinking the same old thing gets old. So start trying good gourmet
coffee! The flavors and aromas are bountiful, and unless you’re in a
situation where you need constant variety, you might never get to try
them all. So start sampling!

5. It gives you an excuse to nap. And who doesn’t like a good nap?
Especially on a cool Sunday afternoon, with a blanket to curl up in on
the recliner, and a football game on the tele. What a great sleeping
opportunity! So stay up all night, and enjoy the pure wonder and
enjoyment of a nice nap!

4. It gives you a free pass on forgetting important information.
This is perhaps one of the most useful benefits of sleep deprivation.
Whether you’re a single-minded guy or a scatterbrained girl, a frazzled
mommy or a daddy with a honey-do list a mile long, if you haven’t had
any sleep, nobody expects you to remember everything. Did you forget to
take out the trash? Sorry, I haven’t had much sleep. Did you forget
to bathe the children? Sorry, I haven’t had much sleep. Did you forget
an anniversary or birthday? I’m sorry, what day of the week is it? I
can’t remember, I haven’t had much sleep. Mmm… such a useful tool.

3. Time passes quickly in boring situations. When you’re sleep
deprived, something has to be real engaging for you to pay attention,
right? Well, if it’s not engaging, that means I’m not that interested.
It’s going to be a long meeting or… sermon. Know what I mean? Well,
revisit point number 7 and let your creative juices take you to a
foreign land. Before you know it, it’ll be time to go home! Instant
time machine, and you probably got some great story ideas at the same
time!

2. It can give you a pretty good buzz by the end of the day. No need
for alcohol, crack, weed, meth, or anvils, sleep dep can give you all
the buzz you need. It has the same effect. Loss of memory, impaired
judgment, slurred speech, and you get this nice buzzing sound in your
head. It can be a real rush! Easy, free, and LEGAL!

1. You can see the sunrise and the sunset in the same day… everyday.
Ok, so you can do this without being sleep deprived, but honestly who
does? And besides, some of the fun of doing this is being awake the
entire time it’s dark. If you go to sleep, it’s almost like it’s
cheating. So, stay up all night and get some stuff done (see point 9),
letting your creative juices flow (see point 7). I promise, near the
end time will fly (see point 3). You’ll have a nice buzz (point 2), and
you can share the emotional experience of seeing the sunrise with your
spouse (see point 8). And when she reminds you the next day that you
forgot to do the dishes (see point 4), you can insult her and get a free
pass (see point 10). Go get you some coffee (see point 6) and take a
good nap (see point 5).

As I write this, I am currently sleep deprived. It’s a quarter to
midnight, I’m going on about 5 hours of sleep the day before. And I
still have one more hour to go before I can crash, only to have to get
up with the sun in the morning for another long day. I do hope this
blog has been coherent and not too fantastical or creatively bloated.
But those things can be fun the next day, much easier than a hangover,
so I’m going to post it before I get the good sense to revise this crazy
list.

Good night.

-KN

Keven Newsome

Keven Newsome is a graduate student at the New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary, where he is pursuing a Master of Arts in Theology specializing in Supernatural Theology. He writes stories that portray the supernatural and paranormal with an accurate Biblical perspective. He is the author of Winter, a thriller published by Splashdown Darkwater. He currently lives in New Orleans, LA with his wife and their two children. Keven is also the founder and administrator of The New Authors' Fellowship. Find him on Facebook, Twitter and on Youtube.