This post not for the faint of heart or the faint of butt (although that reminds me to catch up on Strongbad E-mails this weekend. Yay, something to procrastinate on NaNo with! And to think, I was going to do something silly like go and see Harry Potter or Rent...):

First, I had a doctor's appointment. I'll spare you the parts about me being prodded in the nethers and asked embarrassing questions about my sex life and lack thereof (although the doctor was amusingly obsessed with diagnosing me with HPV. He sounded almost disappointed when I didn't have it, when I could have told him that). I got told that the last doctor I saw was a moron who made so many mistakes my chart got flagged, which is how I got to see the top doctor in the hospital. He kept my record of getting a shot at every doctor's visit by giving me a flu shot, then told me I have to get rid of my mouse. ;_; I don't know what to do with poor Rip now. I don't know who can take her.

Then I had a dentist's appointment. This is when I start getting graphic, people. FYI: I am terrified of dentists, and I never make things easy for them, second-guessing their every move and finding something to threaten them with or bitch about. In this case, I had to get a broken tooth extracted (it was way in the back so nothing cosmetically damaging). I've had a wisdom tooth pulled there before and I thought I knew the pain of dentistry short of getting a root canal. I was wrong.

I am not sure if it's a good or a bad sign when the dentist runs around the office showing everyone your tooth and exclaiming proudly they can't believe they managed to pull it without breaking it and causing the need for emergency oral surgery because it's the biggest they've ever pulled. *Fails grammar 101 for run-on sentence and doesn't bother fixing.* I guess I should be happy that I avoided aforementioned emergency surgery. This took longer than my last extraction, and I kept being afraid the novacaine would wear off. Now I'm hungry and thirsty and can't eat or drink anything for another two hours, although I was advised to resist the urge to spit out any blood and swallow it instead. And I was warned that they had to crack my jaw in the extraction, so the next four to five days are gonna be full of painful swelling.

So that concludes my harrowing tale of medicine and dentistry. Tune in tomorrow where I TMI you all some more!

That's what I get for being poor welfare scum who has to go to a dental clinic that advertises it does examinations and extractions only. ~_~ I got this Indian (as in from Inda, before the PC folks on my flist freak out) woman who pulled my took the last time, and she didn't remember me being horrible to her and accusing her of pulling the wrong tooth every five minutes (she wasn't, but I was scared out of my mind).

And in case my post didn't gross you out enough, my stitches just came out.