Friday, February 24, 2017

OLD MAN GRUMBLES

Old women
can complain about things; but it doesn’t come off the same way as old men
grumbling. When we grumble we are
looked at differently: advancing senility
– crotchety old bastard – old man yells at clouds…..

My wife and
I went shopping yesterday and she complained that I kept bitching under my
breath.

So here it
is: am I wrong?

1.We were food shopping in Walmart and
two women were in with dogs: one with a boxer on a leash and another carrying
this little harry bastard in her arms.
The dogs took one look at each other and went bat shit. Why the hell would anyone carry a dog into a
shopping center – especially one with food?
Are they looking for attention?
For every person that comes up and says ‘what a cute dog,’ there are
twenty that are looking and thinking ‘what an asshole, dogs don’t belong in
here.’ Don’t even get me started about
dogs in restaurants.

2.Women are absolutely unconscious when
they are shopping. They park their carts
in the middle of the isle and then stand in front of a display and meditate
while people are lined up on both sides waiting to get by – they seem totally
unconscious that there are other people around them. Either that, are they run into friends and
stand at an intersection talking and unconsciously blocking traffic from every
isle.

3.Huge women driving motorized shopping
carts are damn right dangerous. They
come down a narrow isle with the attitude of ‘get out of my way, can’t you see me
coming?’

4.This seems to be a rave against
women; but in actual facts men don’t do these things. However, I get really confrontational when I
see a man packing a pistol in a public place.
I would walk up to him and offer to protect him until he gets back to
his car, just in case the Walmart greeter or one of the women cashiers try to
attack him – but I know I have to go home with my wife and would catch hell.

5.Then when we checked out the young
cashier puts my bag of Fritos (the other food group) in the shopping bag full
of can goods.

I figure once
a man has moved into his seventies and beyond he doesn’t owe anybody an apology
for ole-man-bitching. It is one of our
last pleasures.

7 comments:

You're entitled to bitch about anything if we women are. David sometimes bitches under his breath when he's upset. I let him do it, otherwise if he holds it in there will be a supernova going off in Texas like no other in space. As for the inconsiderate women shoppers, I just move they're carts out of the way. Too bad if they don't like it.

Sometimes there is a lack of common sense when it comes to packing a grocery bag. For example, stop bruising my pears!! It gives them a life span of approximately 20 minutes once I get home. There is also lack of shopping cart etiquette. Pick a side of the aisle, please. We could bitch together. -Jenn

The funny thing is, I never experience any of these things! Our shopping place doesn't even have motorized cars. Also there are never enough people to block the aisle for anyone. We're lucky to have two people there.

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