Our Vektor’s a pixelated pink dude who’s stuck inside our Vita.
Hopefully he doesn’t break anything important tromping around –
although it could explain why our rear touchpad spontaneously cuts
in and out of workingness.

Anyway, apparently it’s kind of desirable to help him get the fuck
out of there, especially considering the myriad greeblies and
nailed-down nasties trying to blow him – and by default us - out of
the, erm, screen.

If you’re hoary enough to remember classic arcade star Amidar,
that’s basically this, but funkified. As such, it also conjures
reminiscences of Qix, Tempest and even Pac-Man. If you’re going
“Huh? Spluh? Wha-now?” then, umm, this is a wholly original thing
that’s a credit to good old Aussie ingenuity. Yep.

Basically, you’re faced with grids made up of more white lines than
Grandmaster Flash ever imagined rapping about. You’re essentially a
‘greater than’ symbol (or ‘less than’ if your outlook’s more Gothistic) that shooms about these grids painting them. When
completed, you can get the hell out, hopefully nabbing a speediness
medallion.

Sure, you initially face a simple square, but before long you’ll be
confronting maps that look more like schematics of the Vita’s
innards than game levels. Greeblies greeble, cannons cannonise,
electrical switches electrify... and you’re hardly even into the
game. Your defences increase as you level up versions. You’ll then
speed up, explodinate greeblies and, eventually, conjure momentary
invincibility. You’ll need these.

Somehow, escapeVektor almost perfectly skates the line
between addictiveness and wanting to hurl your Vita towards
something hard. Think of it as gamingy ‘just right’ porridge.

Stuffed with leaderboards, Near functionality, annoying
gyroscopicness that can mercifully be deactivated, innumerable
upgrades and mega-oodles of replayable levels, escapeVektor’s one of
the acest Vita titles yet – and it’s dead cheap.