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Monday, January 10, 2011

30 Day Challenge

Tiffini's hosting a 30 Day Challenge. She's challenged us to give something up that will make us better people -- feel better, look better, be better.

I'm giving up yelling. I don't feel good while I'm doing it. I'm probably not so attractive when I'm doing it. And doing it does not make me a better mom. Physically or emotionally.

For 30 days I will not yell at my children.

While I'm not sure this is entirely possible, I'm going to attempt it because well, I'm not sure that yelling is really communicating effectively the point I'm trying to make to my children. Plus, sometimes it makes them giggle (another clue that yelling does not become me, and in fact, may actually make me look funny).

So if any of you are non-yellers and employ other discipline tactics, I'm all ears. My plan so far consists of:

Being in the same room when I'm talking to them

To think first about what I want to convey instead of spouting off what comes to mind first

To make eye-contact while I'm speaking.

Following through with consequences immediately.

Telling the kids about the challenge and give them each one goal to work towards, too.

Celebrating our success at the end of each week with a special date with the kids.

So, that's the rough draft of the plan. I would love any input that you have to share!

10 comments
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you are a doll...you inspire me..there are those that your in fellowship with that always lead you to your heart & God's heart. YOU are one of those peopleI LOVE your 30 day challenge! Now I'm thinking me going without sugar is going to cause me to yell more...lol You know what I mean?

Ok, I am with you....right this minute, this is so good! Way to start off my Monday and the next 30 days of my life.And my kids? Oh they will be thrilled, so glad. I love all of the pointers and I am going to take those too. Yah, I am excited until I want to YELL so bad!

...Although ... now that I think about it, we had a House Rule: "In our house, we speak quietly and respectfully to each other." Knowing I had a bit of a short fuse, I invited my boys to remind me of that rule whenever I broke it. (Of course, they had to do the reminding quietly and respectfully, too.) That helped our relationship: I offered the needed apologies and behaved more consistently, while they learned that parents aren't perfect either. They also got to practice forgiveness!

Janice, love your thought. Jen, I recommend counting to ten if you feel yourself about to lost it. Breathing helps too. If I'm really frustrated, I will physically step out of the room for a brief moment to collect myself. If I do any of the above, I find I'm able to calmly communicate the discipline that needs to happen, from a purer heart rather than an angry one.

I bet you will be surprised at the change in your children's behavior when you use a different tone. My Dad was raised by parents that yelled all the time and he forbid that any yelling whatsoever take place in our house when I was growing up. As a result, when I became a Mom that theory stuck with me and there was little yelling that ever took place around here. Now, understand, that doesn't mean that everything was "hunky dory." Certainly not! I had to always be mindful of not having a critical spirit and to always be mindful of our children's self esteeem. There's just no way around it, parenting is NOT for sissies and it is only through God's grace that any of us can do the job He set out for us to do as parents. Blessings abundant to you on your challenge and I have no doubt you can "nail" it!

Congratulations to you (and I'll have to go check out Tiffini's challenge--I've fallen a little behind on my blog reading!). I once talked with my pastor about my regret over yelling so much at my children, afraid of the damage I'd done them. He reminded me of God's grace to them, more powerful even than my angry words. He did say, however, that the yelling was probably not a good thing for my heart and my spirit! In any case, may God draw you closer to Him in this practice, may His grace be ever more precious to you.