tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22905810.post279882055080020130..comments2014-12-12T23:32:44.297-05:00Comments on Oh, The Joys: I Don't Hang Out with Your HusbandOhTheJoyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05031731198115388411noreply@blogger.comBlogger118125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22905810.post-92171059635354146362008-03-01T19:31:00.000-05:002008-03-01T19:31:00.000-05:00i think you have to consider the following:How hot...i think you have to consider the following:<BR/><BR/>How hot is daycare dad? <BR/>Does he have a hairy back?<BR/>Are his hands large or freakishly small?<BR/><BR/>After those considerations are carefully examined you still cannot be his friend. Seriously, your husband sounds so cool though. It was a nice thought.lisawho?http://www.blogger.com/profile/13394349903309276732noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22905810.post-89951181732652332502008-02-22T01:18:00.000-05:002008-02-22T01:18:00.000-05:00You are correct; you can't. Not really. Not with...You are correct; you can't. Not really. Not without repercussions and consequence and trickling doubt or whimsy or wonder or wanderlust. Not really. Not ever. Not without resentment or regret. But, it's done all the time. lol!Mommahbear.http://www.blogger.com/profile/06830641369098524799noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22905810.post-60984114093020251742008-02-17T12:57:00.000-05:002008-02-17T12:57:00.000-05:00One question. What are YOU looking for in this fri...One question. What are YOU looking for in this friendship? If it's just companionship and a nice chat, well and good. What's the harm in a nice chat over coffee if you both like the topics?<BR/><BR/>I seriously don't see why marriage should change how you look at friendships. Making rules like that just narrows down things and creates more divides and more hate and way more frustration. You can't, just can't force someone(including yourself) to do what they don't want to!<BR/><BR/>My reaction to the whole series of posts <A HREF="http://the-light-of-happiness.blogspot.com/2008/02/is-it-okay-to-be-friends-with-someone.html" REL="nofollow">here</A>Sukihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08839282055547314024noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22905810.post-67454609187422940342008-02-17T12:30:00.000-05:002008-02-17T12:30:00.000-05:00I seriously see no logical reason why two adults o...I seriously see no logical reason why two adults of opposite sexes cannot be just <I>friends</I> after they are committed/or married.<BR/><BR/>If both want to be friends they will be, plain and simple. If both are unhappy with their married/committed lives, it will give sometime or another.<BR/><BR/>If one is showing signs of something more developing the other has only one option - breakaway! <BR/><BR/>Whether from the friend or the married/committed partner it is up to the person concerned.<BR/><BR/>If one doesn't have enough confidence in one's one level of commitment to another, one shouldn't really make up rules. Also if one's partner is not as understanding that is another problem. It doesn't mean healthy friendships will become a forbidden fruit for married/committed people.<BR/><BR/>Trust and confidence are key words here - not <I>that is the way it is mean to be</I>.<BR/><BR/>You can go ahead and mark me a <I>troll</I> but that is how i feel. It is plain wrong to spread an idea such as this one.the lost_poethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00646539511990813766noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22905810.post-16366234736335414902008-02-12T18:24:00.000-05:002008-02-12T18:24:00.000-05:00its so sad... I get along much better with men tha...its so sad... I get along much better with men than with women. And yea. its a stigma we parents have to deal with. Me being a single mom, even more difficult.Melaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02726231529791645694noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22905810.post-59535983759038377142008-02-11T16:25:00.000-05:002008-02-11T16:25:00.000-05:00It is true. And I hate that it is true. It remin...It is true. And I hate that it is true. It reminds me of Little children.. Not sure if you saw the movie.. <BR/><BR/>But it does suck that you can't just be friends with the dad because of society bullshit.Kimmylynhttp://www.joggingincircles.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22905810.post-90707225458399850682008-02-09T22:48:00.000-05:002008-02-09T22:48:00.000-05:00LOL..I keep thinking of the movie..Little Children...LOL..I keep thinking of the movie..Little Children.<BR/><BR/>I would like to be friends with dads..but for some bizarre reason I do worry about 'what others might think...especially the wivesCrunchy Carpetshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09543476826068578576noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22905810.post-21271518315171777152008-02-09T19:24:00.000-05:002008-02-09T19:24:00.000-05:00I seriously do not get this. If I am with someone,...I seriously do not get this. If I am with someone, then I trust them implicitly. If I can't trust them implicitly, then it does not matter who they want to spend their free time with, our relationship is on life support. If someone does not trust me implicitly or wants to control who I can and can't be friends with, I don't want to be with them. I am not at all interested in eliminating half of the human race from the friendship pool because they have a penis. That sounds ... so ... awful!<BR/><BR/>(Over from Julie's, by the way.)<BR/><BR/>Speaking from personal experience, it's not the girls your husband gets together with for lunch or drinks you have to worry about. It's the ones you don't know about that are the potential problem. And even then, it's not them--it's him.<BR/><BR/>Just two weeks ago I went out to dinner with a good male friend who happens to be living with a girlfriend of mine, from highschool. We had a fabulous time. He used to be in love with me, too, it's not like there was never any history there. But now? Great friends, that's all.Andreahttp://www.andreamcdowell.com/Beanienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22905810.post-37024884709353217432008-02-09T13:49:00.000-05:002008-02-09T13:49:00.000-05:00I'm with K. One of the great joys of being married...I'm with K. One of the great joys of being married is making friends with wives of friends. My married status somehow lowers my "threat rating". Rather than being "dull man with dandruff who must be avoided" I become "husband of the lovely P".Moobshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10432830480757383871noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22905810.post-61499461377104082432008-02-09T12:13:00.000-05:002008-02-09T12:13:00.000-05:00All these rules sound very complicated. Will someo...All these rules sound very complicated. Will someone explain?Jean-Luc Picardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01689798190618944262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22905810.post-27226596285297502672008-02-09T11:58:00.000-05:002008-02-09T11:58:00.000-05:00Good grief the comments...you struck a nerve there...Good grief the comments...you struck a nerve there J!<BR/><BR/>I totally agree with your logic...it is a slippery slope indeed.Jeniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13100043209000589029noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22905810.post-59112565958332443192008-02-09T11:30:00.000-05:002008-02-09T11:30:00.000-05:00OMG, I so have this problem, but made worse that t...OMG, I so have this problem, but made worse that the guy is 1) divorced 2) really hot.<BR/><BR/>So *I* have the rule that we have to be friends with couples...I don't trust women and have been in really ugly situations where the "friend" makes a play. SO I just don't do it/allow it as part of our marriage thing.<BR/><BR/>But now I have a professional friend who is awesome, totally a great guy on a personal level (totally into his kids, smart, funny like my husband) and would be a great friend to my husband (and to me). <BR/><BR/>So I have tried to create some "dates" for them but it hasn't taken. I don't think my husband really hangs with the guy friends. It's too bad, because I would love to hang out with this guy too.<BR/><BR/>So crazy.Little Monkieshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13901936001658736763noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22905810.post-27376353296464776272008-02-09T10:06:00.000-05:002008-02-09T10:06:00.000-05:00Lots of guy friends before marriage - most still f...Lots of guy friends before marriage - most still friends after. New guy friends after marriage = too weird, even tho my husband would not care. Sometimes I feel like trying to form "couple" relationships is a lot like arranging play dates for kids. A lot of work and they might hate each other's guts.dlynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518006230881878861noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22905810.post-85068880957027282532008-02-09T09:51:00.000-05:002008-02-09T09:51:00.000-05:00Sorry, did Bossy trail off to sleep and wake up te...Sorry, did Bossy trail off to sleep and wake up teleported back to 1954?BOSSYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12137297805742498961noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22905810.post-6704165959556942552008-02-09T08:07:00.000-05:002008-02-09T08:07:00.000-05:00You can be friends with the dad, but only if you h...You can be friends with the dad, but only if you have a long-standing friendship with the mom first. The kind of friendship where you can fart in front of her and she laughs and calls you a pig rather than trying to pretend that she doesn't smell it.<BR/><BR/>But even then, it is a tightrope walk. The husband can never be the primary friend.<BR/><BR/>Unless, of course, they are both men: a same sex couple. Then I think you're on solid ground. But K. might be in trouble.Jodihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15470838213627459743noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22905810.post-24342724980134301202008-02-08T23:03:00.000-05:002008-02-08T23:03:00.000-05:00This is a touchy one as is evidenced by an overwhe...This is a touchy one as is evidenced by an overwhelming 102 comments (it seems like I'm always the 103rd wheel.) To sum it up neatly, you're right about who can make friends with wom once marriage enters the picture. Unless of course he's a park ranger and she's an oil wrestling cheerleader, in which case I say go ahead and take the initiative.<BR/><BR/>On that note, I thought of you recently when I was having brunch with my in-laws at the Amicalola State Park lodge. There was a park ranger at the buffet who had dark hair, brown uniform, gun on hip even. Damn, she was hot!kevinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16230395836824145578noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22905810.post-4134154107317562922008-02-08T21:14:00.000-05:002008-02-08T21:14:00.000-05:00Yeah, sorry.Too late afternoon Soap Opera.Or a the...Yeah, sorry.<BR/>Too late afternoon Soap Opera.<BR/>Or a the beginning of a very inappropriate "Dear Penthouse" letter...moosh in indy.http://www.blogger.com/profile/12536663032282865725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22905810.post-84857276840024181662008-02-08T19:32:00.000-05:002008-02-08T19:32:00.000-05:00There's an award for you over at my site, because ...There's an award for you over at my site, because I love your Mayor and Rooster adventures!PixelPihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13784078775130185200noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22905810.post-59330326448136200302008-02-08T18:50:00.000-05:002008-02-08T18:50:00.000-05:00I guess but SB has female friends and I have male ...I guess but SB has female friends and I have male friends and this has never caused an issue. I also hang with a Daddy in the neighbourhood. I must add that his wife called me after we started hanging out thanking me for including him on playdates BECAUSE the other moms were leaving him out. We go to the park with our little ones and trust me, there is no issue with me, SB, him or his wife. I don't think I thought about it until this post. I guess it is different. Makes me kind of sad.motherbumperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16053978199395919666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22905810.post-32303034901573606272008-02-08T18:30:00.000-05:002008-02-08T18:30:00.000-05:00I think there can be a friendship with a dad provi...I think there can be a friendship with a dad provided there is an equally strong or stronger friendship between the moms or the dads. I think it's when the familiarity is overly weighted on the opposite-sex-friendship that you start getting into danger territory. Having said that, I am not a parent with those new kinds of social situations to navigate (yet).<BR/><BR/>It's a rule for me not to spend time 1:1 with men who have ever shown interest in me (or whom I've thought about <I>that way</I>. I wouldn't want to give my dear M a reason to worry, and I wouldn't want to give another man any reason to think I'm interested in him. Given that you and K have been through something that started out one way and ended up in a whole other ballpark, I'm surprised K is not more sensitive to the dangers. Can I say that?Ponygirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03881158904262294151noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22905810.post-26361197037328100702008-02-08T17:35:00.000-05:002008-02-08T17:35:00.000-05:00Just watch when Harry met Sally one night and that...Just watch when Harry met Sally one night and that whole scene about how men and women can't be friends.Heatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06021115136487735411noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22905810.post-56315262379297525822008-02-08T17:14:00.000-05:002008-02-08T17:14:00.000-05:00This was why staying home was so much tougher for ...This was why staying home was so much tougher for DH--none of the SAHM's would talk to him... :(bfmommahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03644598269801019948noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22905810.post-35199074979108430212008-02-08T16:47:00.000-05:002008-02-08T16:47:00.000-05:00You are right. And it is strange how all of that c...You are right. And it is strange how all of that changes when one gets married -- especially once kids enter the picture.Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08527762200993175239noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22905810.post-17892349388049146592008-02-08T16:25:00.000-05:002008-02-08T16:25:00.000-05:00My husband and I are in FULL AGREEMENT on this iss...My husband and I are in FULL AGREEMENT on this issue!<BR/><BR/>As is our circle of friends.<BR/><BR/>I had one friend who was the bread-winner while her husband took care of the kids.<BR/><BR/>His "play dates" led to an affair...and divorce.<BR/><BR/>Why play with fire?Angellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04084789720358907986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22905810.post-33622180079723807242008-02-08T16:22:00.000-05:002008-02-08T16:22:00.000-05:00I'm with ya, girl. The last time I befriended the ...I'm with ya, girl. <BR/><BR/>The last time I befriended the dad, well, let's just say that it didn't turn out well. <BR/><BR/>Recovering alcoholics don't hang out in bars, and I make a point to NOT spend time alone with men I have much in common with, except for the Mr. Cuz I'd like to KEEP him the Mr. for as long as possible. That is, until he realizes what a freak I am and high-tails it for the hills. <BR/><BR/>Although he does like my new piercing...TSM-terrifically superiorily mediocrehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08342104775312559739noreply@blogger.com