Looking for the worst Christmas special of all time? I can't say for sure that Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny is that film but if there's something worse I don't want to know about it. It's worse than the Star Wars Holiday Special, and I don't say that lightly. Some evil bastard must have thought this would be a great way to get kids to commit suicide for the holidays; forcing them to watch this should be considered child abuse.

Best place yer brain in a jar while you indulge in this stupefying chunk of childish fantasy-ham starring Michael De Mesa as a smarmy circus magician called Jamir who is not only handicapped with a bad beard and a fat side-kick Bojok (Tom Tom), he’s utterly shite at magic and accidentally makes his daughter ‘really’ disappear during a show one night. Shocked and dumfounded (not really), Jamir then spends the rest of the film farting about like a tool in another dimension searching for the missing girl, but don’t cheer just yet... this low budget stinker from the Philippines is sadly, as dumb as they come.

Westerners Nick Reece, Trudy Calder and Lucas Byrne star in this totally insane far east cocktail of exploitation super trash that defies sense, reality and logic to such an extent that you may suffer an out of body experience while viewing it.

A colourful and crazy example of whacky horror cinema from Indonesia starring (Australian) Ilona Agathe Bastian as Cathy, an American student in Bali who wants to learn the secret of Leak (’Lee-Ack’) black magic so she can scribble a dull book about it. With the help of her effeminate boyfriend (Yos Santo) and some stock footage of genuine ritual shows, Ilona is soon shaking hands with a mental witch in a field where she’s quickly cursed, possessed, hexed and up to her 1980’s fringe in trouble.

I've got questionable taste in films but fortunately for everyone the world is safe from me ever making one. You can all sleep a bit easier at night knowing that I have no desire to inflict a film on you.

The same can't be said of Kim Jong-il. Yes, that Kim Jong-il, dictator of North Korea, who also happens to be the country's film dictator. Did I say dictator? I meant Happy Fun Time Coordinator. Not only does he love crappy movies more than I do, he's willing to go to incredible lengths to make them, including kidnapping a director and his wife to make a Godzilla ripoff.

Like me, you’ll be wondering how much LSD was dropped during the writing of this cheap, crazy post apocalyptic production which transports H. Ryder Haggard’s mythical character ‘She’ (Aisha) into the 23rd century after the ‘Cancellation’.

Sandahl Bergman (Conan The Barbarian -82) is the very sassy, limber, future-god who controls a vast army of loyal savage sisters that help her rule the barren, tribal wasteland where everybody dresses up in a mix of clothing stolen from hookers, pimps, housewives, baseball players, medieval knights, camp priests, mimes and especially American footballers!

What do you get when you throw Apocalypse Now and The Wizard of Oz in a blender? Something like Apocalypse Oz.

Dorothy Willard, delinquent Amerasian offspring of the Vietnam War, lives with her horrible aunt and uncle. Desperate to get the hell out of Kansas, she accepts a mission to go deep into the desert to hunt down an insane, renegade US Army colonel codenamed 'The Wizard' and terminate him with extreme prejudice.

Yep. Satan actually shows up, and when he does, he's dressed like a horned disco dancer with a trident and a tail! Meanwhile, an evil minion called the 'Prince of magic' hangs out with a gang (dressed like waiters) and uses his satanic powers to spin heads and bully a village of nice Christians who whip themselves bloody for Jesus.