AJ and I were shopping at the mall, and it seemed like he had a comment for every guy that walked by us. This seemed like the perfect opportunity to try and rid of him of his CBQ-ness.

AJ: But I like being this way! It shows that I'm witty and confident.ME: When done right, it does. When done poor, as you do it, it makes you sound like a Chuck Bass knock-off.AJ: Isn't that the point?ME: AJ, everyone's a little catty from time to time, but you do need to know when to flip the switch. You sound defensive when nobody's even on the offense.AJ: So you're saying I should be nicer?ME: I'm saying that when you're bitchy, it makes it harder for people to approach you, especially nice people.VOICE: You should talk.

We both turned around--

ME: Oh damn.

--And there was Miles.

MILES: You coin the damn term and then you try to get the boy to quit it? Are you for real?ME: I'm sorry. I didn't realize we were shopping at the Crab Shack.AJ: Kevin--ME: I mean, hi Miles. How are you?MILES: See? Even you can't cut out the bitchiness.ME: Of course I can, but there's no point wasting kindness on steadfast assjockeys.AJ: Forget it. I'm not quitting if you're not.ME: OKAY! Okay. I'm quitting.MILES: Really? Hey guys!

Sure enough, the Dick Clique was within walking distance.

MILES: Look who I just ran into here at the Crab Shack.LOGAN: I thought this was a Borders?ME: Hi guys, how are you?MATT: Better than those jeans you're wearing.

Oh boy.

ME: AJ, why don't we head out?AJ: No way. I want to see how you handle this without being bitchy.ME: It's like you're asking me to handle a crockpot without oven mitts.AJ: If you can't do it, how am I supposed to?

Time to put my moxy where my mouth is, I guess.

PRYCE: So, where did you buy that shirt? TJ Maxx?ME: Actually, it was on sale at--

I wanted to say--Your Mother's Brothel, but I bit my lip.

ME: Never mind.RICKY: Those glasses make you look like The Nutty Professor.