According to Lindsay Lohan, she and James Franco slept together. According to Franco, that is definitely, absolutely, 100 percent not true. (Unless, of course, it happened while he was sleeping.)

Franco addressed the salacious rumors Monday on The Howard Stern Show. And he got into just about everything with the King of All Media, swearing that he never went that far with Lindsay, and revealing some less-than-flattering details about the former Mean Girls star’s past with Franco. (Oh, and happy 10th anniversary Mean Girls!)

“I will swear on anything you ask that I have never had sex with Lindsay Lohan,” Franco said. “Here’s the problem. I bet you, if we brought her in here, and you asked her to her face, ‘Did you have sex with James?,’ she would say yes.”

“All right, maybe we kissed,” Franco admitted. “It was lame. […] It was so long ago, it wasn’t even the time that we were both at Chateau Marmont. And I was like, a nice guy. I was just like, OK, the kiss is enough. And it was also sort of like, what the hell am I doing?”

Franco insinuated to Howard that Lohan was “stalking” him for a period of time.

“I don’t know what to say other than we were at this hotel during a very dark period of her history. And it seemed pretty damn clear that she liked me,” Franco said. “I was in school at the time… and I’d come home late to the hotel, and she’d find me. I knew which room she was in, and I’d see through the window, ‘Oh, there’s another party over at Lindsay’s,’ and she’d come out to the pool area and find me.

“She even broke into my room one time,” Franco continued. “I would sleep on the couch, so I was on the couch, and I open my eyes, and there’s Lindsay in my room at 3 am. And it’s like, OK, what do I do now.”

But while he admits to being friends with Lindsey, he says there was the “Bad Lindsay.”

At that time, we were friends. I had this period where I’d go to clubs, and she was always there. It wasn’t like, “Oh, I gotta escape Lindsay,” although she would have these periods where, I don’t know if she was using something or whatever, but she would just turn horrible. It was like, the bad Lindsay, and you just had to get away. But we were friends when it was fine to be around her.

“Bad Linsday” also showed up at a class Franco was teaching at NYU, he recalled.

“The last time I think I saw her, I was doing a project here in New York with some of my students in NYU,” Franco said. “And so she was in town, and she said, ‘I haven’t seen you in years, I wanna come see you.’ And I said, ‘Oh, I’m sorry, I’m really busy, I’m in class all day and I’m rehearsing this thing at night.’ And she said, ‘Well, can I come to rehearsal?’ I said, ‘OK, fine.’ And as soon as she got in there, I realized, wow, this is a big mistake.

“You can have other friends come and watch rehearsal, but when you’re in a small rehearsal space and you’re with undergrads, and Linsday Lohan walks in, everything stops,” Franco continued. “And then, she just started being so rude. She started, I guess because the attention wasn’t on her, or I don’t know what, but she just started making comments about the poor undergrad actors.

Eventually, Franco said, he had enough of Lohan berating his students.

“Lindsay, you can either shut up, or you can leave, because we don’t need your comments,” Franco remembered telling her. “I didn’t even want her there; I invited her to be nice. And she just got really mad and stormed off – and we locked the door because I knew it was going to turn into a scene. She was gonna come back!”

But what Franco wanted to make most clear through his interview with Howard was that there was no sleeping with Lohan that he can remember.

“I will swear on my mother’s life that I never had sex with her.”

Franco didn’t just talk about Lohan during the interview:

HE KNEW THE OSCARS WOULD SUCK

Franco told Howard that he was really depressed on the eve of his hosting the Oscars, and it forced him to cancel a photo shoot with Lohan and celebrity photographer Terry Richardson.

“I just knew the show was not gonna be that great.”

SETH ROGEN, NAKED

Franco also gave Howard the story behind why he has painted nudes of Seth Rogen. Part of that story: No, Franco revealed, Rogen has never posed in his birthday suit for those paintings. Franco did give this gem of a quote, though:

“If anybody should paint Seth naked, it should be me.”

INSTAGRAM

Franco gave Howard the story behind the Instagram scandal, where a 17-year-old shared a private conversation she and Franco had over the social media service. According to Franco, he shouldn’t have been portrayed as a “victim-basher.”

“How is she a victim? I was, like anybody, just trying to meet somebody.”

WORK AND PLAY

While he may have in the past, Franco no longer sleeps with his co-stars. And that includes his co-star in Palo Alto, Emma Roberts.

“I don’t think I’ve done it in a while,” Franco said. “I think I’m getting to the point where my co-stars, if they’re playing my romantic co-star, most of them are married or in relationships. When I was young, it was like, ‘Well, yeah, we’re all young,’ or, ‘This is our first movie, oh this is so exciting, let’s get together.’ And then a lot of those don’t work out.”