About Me

Life takes us many places. It's a box of chocolates and a Hansel and Gretal trail of candy wrappers. I have filmed as an actor in The Happening, Invincible, The Lovely Bones, The Bounty Hunter, The Greek American, Bazookas, Limitless, TV's Its Always Sunny in Philly, Outlaw, New York, The Warrior, The Nail, Game Change, Cold Case, & commercial work includes The Philadelphia Eagles, Septa, Coors, Turbo Tax & Carnival Cruises. Freudian Slips spotlights irony in short story format.

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DISCLAIMER: Fictitious demographic information including names and places are used where necessary to respect privacy. The stories are true unless otherwise stated. The content is intended to offer only a snapshot of the event described to protect identity and preserve dignity. The opinions expressed are not necessarily the views of the author's employer, Ripley's Believe It or Not, or any other affiliation. Viewer discretion is advised.

October 30, 2004

Running for Public Office

With the election right around the corner, I am reminded of my stepson Jimmy's aspirations for public office.

In second grade, Jimmy applied for a peer mediator job in his elementary school. Peer mediators settle elementary squabbles. Jimmy is as fair as the hair on his head and we sensed he wanted to emerge as a leader among his classmates. During the briefest of interviews for the post, a teacher asked Jimmy to name three good qualities about his personality.
Jimmy answered, " I'm playful, I don't like my sister, and I'm hungry."
Needless to say, Jimmy's very first interview did not go well and he didn't get the job. Although it should not be the case, honesty often gets you nowhere in a bid for public office.
Two years later, his fourth grade teacher asked students to each run for President of the United States in a mock election. I don't know how much strategy went into Jimmy's campaign but when he was asked what principles he stands for, he replied in unpretentious fashion. "I'm standing up here to tell you I love to eat cheese."
Running for bigger office, Jimmy simplified his platform only giving food for thought. We hold these truths to be self-evident but Jimmy lost in a landslide to another Big Cheese.