Delayed rape reporting not uncommon: column

Recently a family was telling me how when they talked about their daughter, who was a victim of dating abuse and sexual assault, other adults said things like, "It can't be that bad because she didn't report it right away."

It is important to understand that delayed reporting is common in sexual assault. In fact, the majority of sexual assaults go unreported; some estimates state as many as two-thirds of assaults go unreported. When they are reported, it is common for the report to be delayed for some time after the assault; sometimes it is not disclosed for years. Given the way victims are often treated, and the way perpetrators are often excused for their behavior, it is no wonder victims don't tell.

Being a victim of sexual assault is extremely traumatic and most victims just want to forget it ever happened. They feel ashamed and often blame themselves. In a culture where we still teach girls how to protect themselves instead of teaching boys how to respect girls, we blame victims and make it difficult for them to disclose.

We have boys who video record themselves sexually assaulting a passed-out girl, bragging about what they did. They were not taught to respect girls.

In a recent study of sexual assault on college campus in Massachusetts, 1,800 college men were interviewed and 120 of those disclosed they had raped (equaling over 400 incidents of rape), though they did not see it as rape because "they didn't wear masks or wield a knife" – instead they used alcohol as their weapon to make their targeted victims vulnerable. Not one of those disclosed rapes were reported by the victims.

Additionally, this research unveiled that the rapists' friends assisted with the assault by helping facilitate the intoxication of the victims. They knew that their friend intended to rape a young women; not only did they not intervene to prevent the rape, they helped the rape occur.

There are many reasons victims do not report sexual assault right away, the attitudes toward rape being one of the most significant. Just because an assault was not reported right away (if ever) does not mean it did not occur.

It is important that we all understand the impact of sexual violence and learn about the myths that continue to surround this devastating crime. We can all make a difference if we intervene.

The Women's Community has decades of experience serving victims and understanding the dynamics, we can help you understand too. We also can help you know you are not alone if you have been a victim. Whether it happened recently or long ago, we understand and we are here to help. Call us 24 hours a day, 1-888-665-1234.

Jane Graham Jennings is the executive director of The Women's Community.