Marlboro Man has been building some new fence around our hay barn. This will provide a more formidable fortress around the precious hay, it will allow him to tear out some older, and more unsightly, barbed wire fence that’s cluttering up the general area near the Lodge. I’ve been doing most of the work (as usual) but since I needed to document the process with my camera, I asked Marlboro Man to put down the bonbons and come look busy for twenty minutes or so.

Here’s how you build fence.

1.Figure out where you want the two corner posts to go. Marlboro Man usually likes his fences to be square with the world—straight north and south, or east and west, or parallel with the road, or the barn, or whatever happens to be the dominant feature of the fenced area. Here, he and Josh are devising their plan.

Actually, it’s my plan. I just asked them to stand in and act like they’re devising one.

Sorry. I’ll stop that now.

2. Plant the two corner posts. This involves…

a) Digging a post hole.

Now, because there will be so many holes to dig and Marlboro Man’s rotator cuffs are 41 years old, he’s using this skid steer with an auger attachment.

I have no idea what that means. I just know it’s right.

As the auger goes into the ground, it pushes dirt and rocks out…

So Josh is there with the shovel, getting the stuff out of the way.

My name is Marlboro Man. And I have an auger attachment.

I’m told this is an auger attachment.

Imagine what this would do for one’s earwax!

And belly button lint? Fugghetaboutit!

The next thing you need to do is b) set the pipe in the hole.

Then, once the pipe is in the hole, you need to c) anchor it with cement.

And here’s how that goes. Marlboro Man holds the pipe in the hole while Josh pours in some dry cement mix.

Then Josh screams at my ten-year-old daughter and tells her to hurry up and bring a bucket of water.

Okay, he didn’t exactly scream. I think he actually said something along the lines of “pretty please with sugar on top”.

Josh is such a softie.

And it did the trick; she scampers over and grabs the empty bucket.

Then she runs over to the sprayer truck (which is used to control prairie fire in the spring) to grab the water.

And she enjoys a moment or two of sunshine.

Then she grunts and groans and hauls it back over to Josh before he hassles her for being too slow.

Seriously, you’ve got to be tough as nails around here. If you don’t steel yourself on a daily basis, you’ll crumble.

Then Josh grunts and groans and makes his way over to the post hole with the water bucket.

Then he pours some water right on top of the cement mix, sticks his bottom smack dab in the camera, and stirs the mixture with a stick.

Meanwhile, my girl smashes some larger rocks into smaller pieces.

And Josh throws some rocks into the hole, both for stability and as filler.

All the while, Marlboro Man is carefully ensuring that the post remains level.

Marlboro Man likes to do this part. His reasoning is simple: later, if a post is out of alignment, he’ll have no one to blame but himself.

It’s like the cattle rancher version of “the buck stops here.”

He even fired himself once. It wasn’t pretty.

Okay, after the posts are set and the cement has completely dried (this usually takes about 24 hours) you 3. Tie a string from one corner post to the other, running the string on the outside of the posts.

Here, the father of my children is unraveling the bright yellow string as he makes the long, long walk to the other corner post.

He wraps the string around the other corner post, then pulls it tight (taut?) and hammers the stake into the ground with a nearby rock.

Next…4. Measure and mark where the line posts will be set. We (and I use the term “we” very loosely here) were setting the posts 11 feet apart, marking each spot with an old welding rod.

Once the all the post spots have been marked, you can move the string and hit the ground running with the following steps:
5. Drill the holes

6. Put line posts in the holes and set them with concrete

7. All the while, make sure all the posts are level

Here’s a long line of vertical posts—as you can see, both the string and the level did their job. Nothing’s sticking out!

And here’s a line of posts on the other side. Good job, Marlboro Man!

This little line of posts…well, there was one post in this line that got a little…out of line.

And if you think Marlboro Man didn’t lose hours of sleep over it, you don’t know Marlboro Man very well.

He paced. He paced much.

And that’s it! After that, it’s up to the welders to attach the horizontal bars and complete the fence.

Aina On Thursday, January 28 at 10:20 am

We are amateur farmers and I thought it was JUST my computer day job techie husband who used a level. I swear I thought he’d never get our fence up for that dag blame level! I was ready to hide it or break it. What he wouldn’t of done for an auger! My Honey is 63 and this job nearly killed him! What a man will do for love!!!!!

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Cheryl Sheeran On Thursday, January 28 at 10:55 am

O.K., I have a sick little boy at home today and you just made both of our days with this post. Thanks Ree and family!

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Sharon On Thursday, January 28 at 10:56 am

I cannot believe I read that entire post…happily and with great joy.
I cannot believe that I also read every comment. You guys are all so cotton-pickin’ funny.

Ashley F On Thursday, January 28 at 12:10 pm

I helped my hubby build a fence too. I will tell you we had a post out of line and he didn’t sleep well either. He ended up fixing it the next evening. He’s a chiropractor, so we were fence building at night. It was interesting. We also used the same string method for building our raised garden.

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Bambie Shipman On Thursday, January 28 at 1:14 pm

I have also painted alot of pipe fence on my Dad’s ranch in northern OK. He used it as punishment for staying out after curfew!!

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ML On Thursday, January 28 at 3:17 pm

A skid steer? Is that anything like a fork lift? I noticed that Josh was spilling the water your child had worked so hard getting into the bucket. Shame! Shame!

That auger attachment sure would’ve been handy last fall when I ripped out the old falling down horse fence and to put up a new one. I dug 30 some post holes. With a manual post hole digger. By myself. While my husband was at work. On the upside, I have fabulous arms.

I am totally jealous of your skid steer and auger attachment. I’ve had to dig all my holes by hand (arms?); consequently, my fence runs are short. And wood.

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Sherrilyn On Thursday, January 28 at 7:56 pm

Did MM have to approve all the facts before you could add this post? LOL

I have a question about your (and others’) phrasing: why is it “build fence” and “paint fence”? That sounds funny to me. “Build fences” or “build a fence” sounds “right”, but “build fence”?

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Darell On Thursday, January 28 at 9:23 pm

Level is the term you use for horizontal and plumb is the term you use for vertical. This information is respectfully submitted by Darell the carpenter. I love your take on things. Good humor and wholesome fun. Please keep up the good work.

EmmyLou On Friday, January 29 at 4:33 am

I actually found this insanely fascinating and read every word… due in no small part to your awesome photographs accompanying the descriptions, I’m sure.

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Her husband's John Deer gal On Friday, January 29 at 11:16 am

Today is my first reading of your blog! Got three of your cook books for Christmas and recent b-day, guess family and friends see a similarity between us!
We’ve done fence w/ our kids too and while they disliked it (alot) and hardly stopped complaining, they did a fantastic job! The younger ones figured it out first. Work hard, be quiet and ask what they can do to help; this will put themselves in mom and dad’s good graces. They got to finish the short lengths and run home(1/2 mile) and be done w/ it all. The older ( know it alls – aka – teenagers)continued to gripe and gripe, so they got the 1/3 mile length of 5 strands to check tie and tidy up. My husband and I left them to fuss while we went home w/ the other two This life is awesomely hard and rewarding at the same time. Part of the reward will come later when we look back, but for now I’ll enjoy the fresh eggs in my outdoor frig (chicken house) and the cows who come up to me like I’m the most famous person they’ve ever met!
God blees you Ree and thanks showing me there are other’s like me out there!

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Sharon Fitzgerald On Friday, January 29 at 4:20 pm

Wow, I wish my husband had an auger attachment, then the kids wouldn’t have to hold the post while he pushes it down with the bucket on the excavator. MM’s approach is much safer!

Could have used that augur attachment about 40 years ago in Arizona. We did everything you guys did to build fence except my brother and I hand dug the holes. I bet it goes a lot faster with the augur.

Nothing more satisfying than watching men do real manly work! I work in a hardware store and love tools! I know, I’m a girl, but power tools are just awesome. I think the only think hotter than men working is men riding. Am I right or am I right?

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Deena from Iowa On Tuesday, February 2 at 1:28 pm

Lordy Lordy I was exhausted after reading all of that. What a good man you have! Mine is setting new posts this spring I am going to suggest the Auger on the skid loader maybe I will just leave this post open and then he will think it was his idea!
Have a happy day
Deena

We are putting in a fence this spring – it’s a little shorter than yours – it requires 4 post holes!! We are digging them by hand. On second thoughts, maybe you could send Josh and his perfectly ironed striped shirt around for the weekend to dig them for us. I can send my husband off to do chores then I’ll just sit on the steps and watch Josh dig.
Your daughter has the most gorgeous long legs and she’s only 10? – wish mine were that long – beautiful.

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luke On Thursday, February 4 at 12:07 pm

Not a bad job for folks north of I-40. my wife loves your blog thing here and told me to check it out. you do a good job of making your treeless, wal-mart poor, semi-yankee area sound and look good. wink wink nudge nudge? keep up the good work and try to stay warm up there on the tundra.

oh my…my husband is anal when it comes to building fence as well! Heaven forbid a post be off lol

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Mike Evans On Thursday, February 4 at 4:25 pm

Having spent this past summer putting up 2500 ft of high tensile woven wire fence and 114 post holes I am just a little curious. How deep did Marlboro Man make his post holes? By the way what is Marlboro Man’s first name?

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Sherrine On Saturday, February 6 at 10:50 am

All I kept thinking was, “What a beautiful blue sky!”

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Jessica On Saturday, February 6 at 6:19 pm

Another humorous and educational post. I especially love how Marlboro Man is wearing an Arizona State hat. :0D That makes me smile!

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Heather in TX for now On Monday, February 8 at 8:02 am

My husband and two of teenage boys are in the Ozarks right now building fences. So that we can move to our farm soon with our animals. But my husband does not have an auger attachment. He has a handheld post hole digger, and a long pointy rock breaking metal bar and a sledgehammer. I expect my boys to come back looking like men. Kinda sad about that.

E On Tuesday, February 9 at 12:10 am

I used to shudder at the thought of a farm….and being born and raised in NYC I’ve still never stepped foot in one but this fence making seems fun!

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lisa On Tuesday, February 9 at 4:44 pm

My husband, father-in-law and oldest daughter are digging holes for a customer’s deck today…. the hard way. HOW my husband would love one of those !.. He used to be in charge of snow removal around the nursery when we lived in Canada and regularly threw our skidsteer round like it was a racing car or some such thing. But he never had an attachment like that!!!!

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David J On Wednesday, February 10 at 3:13 pm

This will probably make MM sick, but up here in northern New York, those round bales that i caught a glimpse of in one off your pics, the farmers roll these up year after year until they get soooooo many that they start laying them end to end down their fence lines and using them as field dividers. I think this is such an awful waste of time and resourses. To bad that couldn’t find some cheap way to ship it to the farmers that need it.

Great job MM but all of you that need a dirt auger and don’t want to buy one, you can rent on on a daily basis from your local Ditch Witch dealer. Oklahoma has a dealer in Edmond and one in Tulsa. http://www.ditchwitchok.com

careful of those augers…. if they catch your shirt or jacket… you will become one with the auger. (I don’t mean that in a good way either:( )

The post just next to the corner post is called a ‘dead man’… it’s the support post.

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Judy On Tuesday, February 16 at 3:52 pm

You’re doing a 300-year fence! It will be there long after your descendants are forgotten about! My fence contractor would be very proud of MM.

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ignore_me On Thursday, February 18 at 2:13 pm

Ma’am… with all due respect to your hijacking Marlboro Man’s fence work project so amusingly….. you’ll look MUCH more credible if you learn that everything in this post was about CONCRETE and not CEMENT… (cement is the “glue” that combines with the rocks/aggregate to make the hard stuff called “concrete”).

ChickPea On Friday, February 19 at 4:00 pm

Yep, Lisa H above said this… she also said it again today at lunch– PDub- she and Josh would be a match made in Heaven, but she can’t do that bachelor thang…cmon — that’s crazy! If he does not find who and what he is looking for, I feel these two would rock it – she is a country cookin’, ridin’, fence fixin’, horsebreakin’ gal.. and needs a Josh to love.. I’m not a matchmaker by trade, I just play one online.
Ha! MJP ‘ck-p’

Jon Woodland On Tuesday, February 23 at 10:45 am

My wife loves this website. I look occasionally, usually at her request. Having spent some time as a fence installation tech. I must say that is a nice fence. My Dad would be proud everything he did had to be square with the world as well.

I love seeing that your daughter does tough physical work. Wish more kids would do that. Wish more parents made them do that. It builds character and a great a work ethic, and arm muscles that will last forever. I KNOW from experience. I’m 47 and still have the muscles I earned from helping my daddy build fences as a child. Thanks dad!

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marsaili On Sunday, February 28 at 1:37 pm

Wow, that’s great! We have to rent a two man auger from Home Depot as we don’t have any big toys yet—of course we only have 6 acres! The guys got about 15 posts in before they pooped out!

Rebekka On Wednesday, March 3 at 7:23 am

Your outfit did a great job on the fence!! My wife and I live in northern Wyoming, and we’ll be looking for one of those bobcats and augers went we start to put up our pole barn. We both like visiting your website. Spring is almost here.

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California Girl On Friday, March 5 at 11:27 pm

I think you’ve got a one-man ranch-hand calendar in the making with ol’ Josh and the auger there. They sure make ‘em cute out wherever you are.

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April On Saturday, March 6 at 3:52 pm

As one who has put in a fence, and used an auger, I’m thinking that auger attachment is really sweet. I’ll need to drum one up the next time we need to replace a fence.

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Sirena On Monday, March 8 at 6:17 pm

Woulda loved this as a kid! Watching your daughter helping – that’d been me, too. And the old army truck!! My 3 sisters and I grew up cutting wood with Daddy, and he used an old dually, cab-less army truck for climbing up/down the steep places to get to the wood. We’d haul armloads of wood to the truck and throw brush while he ran the chainsaw. Exhausted little kids at the end of the day, but happy. :o)
Really enjoy your stories and pictures!

Ahhhhh I can’t wait for summer, we have a ton of fence to build! Except we get to drive t-posts by hand, not pipe the whole way. By we I mean WE

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Pia On Monday, March 15 at 8:50 pm

came across your site for the first time through Southern Living on facebook. I live just west of Ft Lauderdale in Florida do you think Marlboro Man would like to bring his little hole digger down here and put two washing line posts up for me in the backyard? He seems to be exactly what I’m looking for. All joking aside reading this has given me an idea. Thank you so very much. Looking forward to reading the entire blog.

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pleximus On Monday, March 15 at 11:17 pm

nice fence… I built a few in my day… but that …. that is a nice’un.

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Greenjeans On Tuesday, March 16 at 3:27 pm

Makes me miss my Marlboro Man. He has been gone for 17 years but I never see a straight fence that I dont think of him. Please soak up every minute of him and your wonderfull family. Your cook book is wonderfull.

Anonymous On Tuesday, March 16 at 5:37 pm

Oh my goodness – not only a great auger attachment but a cool water truck!

Wish these guys would go on a “road tour” and finish my fencing!

Farmerj

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Julie Curtis On Tuesday, March 23 at 6:33 am

How come you only get 350 posts on how to set fence posts and when you give away a prize you get 10,000??? LOL! All you had to say was you’d draw one name to get a free fence post and there would be thousands. We (the fence post posters) are your TRUE friends!

Sharon On Wednesday, March 31 at 2:10 pm

Asked hubby about a garden fence. He said, “Go to it!” and brought out his hand held post hole diggers.
I hated him.
Anger got that fence up in rapid order – only 6 posts, but I have 57 year old rotator cuffs –
and now, babeeeee, I’m buffed so I love him again.
Am impressed with your kids’ work ethics. Keep ‘em going!

Trish G. On Thursday, April 1 at 7:51 pm

Auger attachments are GREAT! We have one for the bobcat and it is used often…not sure what for, but I have used it just to check the soil on varies parts of our land….no reason at all, just to know what soil was where…lol!

Daughter gave me this blog address saying I would love the recipes and that’s how her daughter got interested. I saw MM’s post hole digging episode and said to myself, “yea, right!” I’m in. Very nice reading and photos. Love it!!!!!

Daughter gave me this blog address saying I would love the recipes and that’s how her daughter got interested. I saw MM’s post hole digging episode and said to myself, “yea, right!” I’m in. Very nice reading and photos. Love it!!!!!

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Benna Wasson On Sunday, April 4 at 5:31 pm

A friend just showed me your website — you are just the best. I was reading your fence building tale just after talking to my hubby (i am visiting my sis) and he told me he had drilled (with an auger) the hole in the wrong spot for the fence post. I think I should have been there to measure– even if he thinks i am not a got fence helper. At least i try! I’ll keep reading.

I can SO relate to this! I grew up on a Quarter Horse Ranch, and my Dad would not allow barbed wire. He built all our fences, corrals, and runs out of pipe and cable fencing just like this, and he was WAY worse than MM about making them staight and level. He was so uptight about it he even did the welding himself. It was his 3 daughters’ job to paint them all, which needed to be re-done every few years. Here’s my advice: DON’T PAINT THEM WHITE! It looks pretty but sucks for upkeep. (Canadian winters are harsh on paint)
BTW: Tell MM I like his horse. Reminds me of one I used to have.

What a wonderful write-up. If we tried this in Northern San Antonio would still b digging the first hole. Our hole for our pool took 2 weeks with a jackhammer/backhoe. Oh how I miss fertile soil…….

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Jennybean On Sunday, April 11 at 5:58 pm

Koodos for doing these chores as a family :0)
Please get your baby girl a set of safety glasses before she smashes rocks next time, probably would be good for all involved to have a pair. You only get one set of eyeballs.

Love this website of yours!

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Maria S. On Friday, April 23 at 6:03 am

So now I know how to build a fence! Not that I’ll ever build one, considering I am a 43 year old stay at home mom in a suburb of Dallas, TX and our fences are brick…but I would know how to do it, if I ever needed to!
This post was incredibly funny and entertaining! And your daughter? She ROCKS!!!!!

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Shelley C On Friday, April 23 at 6:10 pm

Showed my hubby your fencing ‘tools’ (he’s so envious), and what he told me to tell you was “Are you going to cover the top of those pipes? Because if water gets in there and then freezes (as it does here in northern Maine) it’ll damage the bottoms, and they’ll rust alot faster at ground level. Just his two cents. Farming is different all over the land is it not?

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sd rancher On Wednesday, May 5 at 9:09 am

Just looked at the fence post tutorial…..How fortunate for you to live somewhere that a post hole can be dug in January. I had no idea that a ranch wife could participate in fencing by just taking pictures…..

AHHHH….fencing….that has been the naughty word of the year on our ranch. We bought property that wasn’t fenced so we have done it all ourself! It is amazing the time and cost that goes into it. We do have an auger which saves my firefighter husbands body (even though it is broken down at work on a daily basis). It does look nice and pretty once the job is finished!

Y’all, if I was rich I would get this attachment to my fiance. I am a city girl about to become a farm girl in Colorado and had my first experience with fences because ‘I wanted to get my hands dirty”. Is there a more city-gril comment than that? Anyhow, fences are no joke! And trying to do it in the type of soil he had is hard as heck!

OK. My name is Sandi and I am clearly live in a cave. I had to admit in front of one of your stlakers who was meeting one of your friends that I had not heard of you. I know this alone will get me banished and punished by the entire interweb world. So with that admitted and said. I have read your blog now, and Love you. DUH. I also am in need of a fence for my dogs, but I am also in need of the Marlboro man to put it in, cause I think watching him do it while I sip a mint julep from the porch would be the best method for me. Glad to be in the Pioneer loop now, please do not have me keeled for my lack of knowledge. Thank you in advance.

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Heidi On Saturday, May 15 at 4:18 pm

I love seeing this! Right now we are putting in the telephone poles (16 footers) that will be the beginning of my new pole barn for my cows, as well as be the fence posts along 2 sides. As my hubby and I are dealing with 4′ deep x 1.5′ wide holes, I look around at all the other telephone poles that we put in about 16 years ago for the stock fence… It’s amazing the difference a few years makes! If only we still had an (unbent) auger! At least the excavator to set the poles is better than the old way! Since I’m leaning toward your style of fencing for the next field, it was great to see the how-to!

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Terri Baker On Saturday, May 15 at 9:21 pm

My husband and I had the honor of working with a local artist on a sign project and the artist said his favorite color was RUST!
I never thought of rust as a COLOR until that day. We have lots of rusty horse drawn equipment on our farm for yard ornaments. On that day we decided our rust colored pipe fence was already a beautiful color and it matches everything else.