Click Here to Vote for My Band to Do Absolutely Nothing

Support local music! If you click above, my band, Mortal Cinnamon, could win a chance to play at 8:30AM on a festival stage that will later be shared by some of rock’s greatest acts that the festival could afford. If we win, we will devolve into a screaming match the night before the show. As a result of that screaming, only the drummer and bass player will show up to the stage.

The festival’s sound crew will be put in the unfortunate position of informing the drummer and bass player that they will not be allowed to perform “as a two piece.”

This will come as devastating news to drummer Daniel, who will have spent the last hour setting up his extensive collection of drums and cymbals after frantically asking any crew member he can find if they have a spare drum key. He will eventually be forced to set up his kit using a pair of vise grips loaned by a gentleman on the facilities staff.

He’ll then begin his complex double bass foot warmup, which begins with some light yoga and ends with Daniel on his back, legs in the air, feet wiggling furiously. Onlookers can be forgiven for thinking he is miming a turtle flipped over on its shell. He’s not. He’s just warming his feet up.

Bass player Dustin will take the news better. He’s the most laid back. He says it’s because his mom makes him go to bed early so he gets good rest but he’s never been the same since the motorcycle thing a couple years ago.

So click here. Like, share, retweet! Actually, you have to click here, then click on “share” then let the web page tweet for you, then get someone to retweet that for it to count. It’s easy, though.

Editor In Chief, Founder, and Admiral of Smugness at The Atlanta Banana, Jim Hodgson has an ass for news. Follow him on twitter at @jimhodgson
He is the author of the hilarious Science Fiction novel Dangerous Dan, available now on Amazon in Kindle and Paperback.