Monday, August 01, 2005

Anger Management

When I left the apartment this morning, I was in a tender mood. It was a good weekend. The weather is beautiful. I am knitting a fluffy white baby scarf.

By the time I reached the office I was a budding maniac. Apparently, today is Get Franklin Day in the Chicagoland area. Or at least, Keep Franklin From Reaching the Office Without Smacking Somebody Day.

Since at some point a court-ordered therapist is going to ask me to do this anyhow, here's a little chart showing all the lovely people I encountered, and what I imagined doing to each of them.

25 comments:

Sorry your commute was so bad, at least you can talk about it and that does help. I think you handled it great. Don't let it upset your day. Glad you had a wonderful weekend. I can't wait to see a picture of the baby scarf.

Unfortunately motherhood is like an endless loop of Rugrats while getting shot with a supersoaker of juicy juice.... so that wouldn't be too much of a punishment for her...... Sorry your day started out so bad..hopefully it will get better!!

Hi, Franklin's mom, if you ever communicate with my mother, which is not as unlikely as it might seem (did she send you xmas cards for ten years after meeting you once for ten seconds at graduation? she did that to some friends' parents) could you um, not tell her about my blog? That'd be super, thanks!

(Yes, clearly Franklin has a healthy grown-up relationship with his parents, while clearly I'm stuck somewhere around age 15 with mine.

I also realize that the world doesn't revolve around me, and that the chain of events I fear is particularly unlikely.

Normally I lurk, but I had to tell you I loved this post. It made me laugh out loud. The same stuff happens to me almost every day in NYC.

Imagining their punishments is a lot healthier than acting it out. I've pushed some yuppies down the stairs in the subway and had screaming matches with over-entitled mothers and it doesn't really assuage the anger.

Yeah.. you are going to have to pick something more annoying that rugrats sorry dear!! But hey the punishment for those Aplha Moms is to have her trade places with some poor mom in the middle of no where with no car and 7 kids and NO TV!!!HEHEHEEH EVIL eh?

The latest, most insanely annoying childrens' program on the face of the earth is "Boo-bah." Think Teletubbies without even the benefit of guttural two-year-old nonsensical talk. They spin around and make weird noises and in general make you wonder how it is that childrens' television programmers get away with taking so much LSD on the job.

I am a parent. My kid has been known to do idiotic things. But jaysus, I don't understand how other parents don't give a flying f*ck when their kids do something idiotic to strangers. Where is the decency? Where is the sense of responsibility? More importantly, where is the flamethrower?

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