Londoner

The Ealing born director was the toast of Hollywood last night as his harrowing film 12 Years a Slave won the Best Picture Oscar. 'I'm certain the dead are standing about you and they are grateful and so am I,' said Lupita Nyong'o, who earned the Best Supporting Actress prize, also for 12 Years. Video of McQueen's speech here.

Moggies have their own eatery from Saturday in the form of Lady Dinah's Cat Emporium, a Shoreditch establishment that promises tea for humans and a 'private two-story, cats-only garden' for their pets.

In London to give a speech at the Palace of Westminster to MPs and Lords, the first German Chancellor to do so since Willy Brandt in 1970. Could be a tough crowd. 'The Chancellor has long since come to terms with the fact that there will no longer be a path back to the centre of the [EU] for the British,' according to German sources.

Made a speech about what she called her 'backside' at a business dinner at The Savoy last night. Talking about Will and Kate's wedding, she admitted her figure-hugging bridesmaid dress 'fitted a little too well'. Bummer.

A theme park dedicated to the grumpy ogre with a heart is to open on the South Bank in 2015. Called Shrek's Far Far Away Adventure, the attraction will be placed in the old County Hall, near where you'll also find the London Aquarium and the London Eye.

The atmosphere around the Queen's house is the most noxious in Britain, according to government tests. Buckingham Palace air has nitrogen dioxide concentrations of 152 micrograms per cubic metre, way higher than the EU healthy air limit of 40 micrograms.

CCTV captures the moment an east London shop assistant tried to grab a robber's shotgun. Now a reward of £20,000 has been offered for info on the robber and his accomplice, one of whom shot the shop's owner in the chest.

Became the oldest winner of a BRIT award when, aged 67, he claimed the Best British Male prize for the album The Next Day at the O2 last night, 30 years since his last victory. His gong was collected for him by Kate Moss, who read out a message that included a "stay with us" plea to independence-minded Scots.

The pint-sized tunesmith, 55, is reportedly dating singer Delilah, 22, from Hackney. 'It's little wonder Prince is so smitten with her,' a source told The Mirror. 'They have always been close but things have moved on recently.'

A beer named after the 1970s revolutionary socialist from Tooting has been told to stop using the name after Robert Lindsay, the actor who played the fictional firebrand, raised objections to the use of his image. 'We might put a red star over his face,' said the ale's brewer.

The Wolf of Wall Street star is in town for this weekend's BAFTA awards, where he'll be joined by the likes of Tom Hanks, Oprah Winfrey, Sandra Bullock and Prince William. The ceremony is broadcast on Sunday night.

'I'm not out of my mind,' he hits back, after the UK government says, being American, he doesn't understand the Elgin Marbles, bits of the Parthenon which Clooney believes should be returned to Greece from the British Museum.

Reckoned to be the smallest flat worth £1M, this Mayfair one-bed near The Ritz is about the size of a normal living room. 'A few years ago you could find a property like this for £250,000,' said estate agent Peter Wetherell.