Blog Brother Episode 20 – Please Don’t Yell At Him

GUYS! THE FINALE IS AIRING IN 5 DAYS! I CAN’T DO THIS! But I’ll try anyways! NEVER GIVE UP!

Previously on BLOG BROTHER!!! Boogie and Ashley were evicted! THAT’S IT! JK, but seriously, that all I’m mentioning.

They’re flashing back to show what went on between the double evictions. Frank is PISSED at Ian, claiming that he owed Boogie. And of course, Ian won the HoH, despite the fact that he tried to throw the competition. Dan drags Ian into the um… special small room? Then Frank drags Ian aside and tells him that he won’t come after him. Then Britney and Shane drag him back in and tell him that it’s got to be Frank and Ashley. Then Ashley goes in and says “I didn’t really have anything to say, I just don’t know what’s going on.” Then Joe enters and Ian goes “What do you want? Now.” Joe tells him that he’s on his side, so Ian throws up Frank and Ashley (as we already knew). Frank is PISSED. AGAIN. And of course Frank wins when he’s motivated. Ian’s talking about how they should have tried to backdoor Frank… so why didn’t you? Frank takes Ian aside again and Ian goes “We have to get Joe out now” but Frank doesn’t think they’ll do it. And he’s right. Frank tells everyone to vote out Joe. Ian’s angry now because he listened to Dan and Britney and they were wrong. Frank tells Joe that he should be the big man and let Ashley stay. Joe’s not impressed. SO MUCH DRAMA!!!! Of course, it’s Ashley who goes home, and I can only imagine that Frank is going to murder someone? Ian feels bad because this was not how the night was supposed to go. Wow. Britney’s taking this really hard. “He doesn’t have the emotional strength you do, PLEASE DON’T YELL AT HIM!” Awww, mommy Britney!

Ian feels awful. He’s saying that he’s a bad person and that he’s going to burn in hell. Dan tells him that he’d hook him up with his sister and he tells nobody that. Dan tells Ian that he’s a renegade. CBS cues up gunshot noises. #CBS

Frank pulls Danielle, Shane, and Britney aside and asks them to partner with him. He says that if they’re with him and he wins HoH, it’ll be Dan and Joe going up. If not, it’ll be Dan and Shane. Danielle can’t take that Frank wants Dan gone. She can’t go against him. Frank tells her not to worry about it. He’s calmed down now and is handling things with a more level head. Britney makes the deal. THE QUACK PACK IS DONE (maybe).

HoH time. “Pull Some Strings”. The houseguests are playing for more than just Head of Household though because the winner also picks one person to be a have-not. There’s a board with a bunch of numbered slots in it. There’s a wooden board with strings attached to the sides. They pull the board up with a ball and try to deposit it in the highest numbered slot. Each board gets increasingly more difficult. After the first round, they are ranked and the two-lowest seeds have to compete head to head to get their ball to the top of a slotted board first. Dan blows it by being way too ambitious and he must now compete 1-on-1 against Frank. Frank, of course, wins. Now he has to face off against 5 other people. Frank Vs. Jenn. I know my descriptions of these competitions make no sense. That’s why it’s a TV show and not a book. Frank beats Jenn. I sure hope he comes back and wins this. What a beast move that would be. Boom. Frank beats Britney. Not even close. Frank’s done this 3 times already. He gets to the top so quickly. Nobody can compete with him. Danielle is eliminated. It’s down to Joe and Shane now. Joe’s eliminated. Frank Vs. Shane, for the win. If Frank wins this HoH… he deserves to win this fricking game. No contest. Frank wins handily, as he won every. Single. Round. Nobody else even stood a chance. Is this Frank’s 3rd HoH win? Frank makes Dan the Have-Not for the week. He’s apparently never been a Have-Not before.

Frank tells Britney he’s putting Dan and Danielle up. Sounds like they’re making a final four deal. He claims to trust Britney more than anyone else in the house, which isn’t saying a lot.

Time for Pandora’s Box! If you don’t know what Pandora’s Box is, I don’t care. Okay, I do a bit. The HoH walks into their room and there’s a door at the back of the room with a question mark in it. The HoH has the option of opening Pandora’s Box and potentially getting something out of it, but he’ll also unleash something upon the house. Sometimes the house benefits and the HoH doesn’t and sometimes the HoH benefits and the house is punished. IT’S PANDORA’S BOX! This time they’re claiming that there is over $10,000 in the room… Frank opens Pandora’s Box. There are a bunch of cubes. Frank can open 3 of them and he’ll be locked in the room for an hour. Frank picks $1.05. $7.11. $3,333.33. Congrats Frank, you just won $3,341.49. The houseguests have now been alerted that a second Veto has been released in the house. In order to get it, they need 50 cents. All of a sudden, plastic balls start falling from the sky. They need to find some quarters that will allow them to use the claw machine in… the claw machine room. Dan finds the first set of quarters but misses the Veto ball. Ian’s up next. Nope. Britney’s up next and she has it! BUT IT DROPS! OOOOHHH!!! People are diving for these balls. Dan’s acting like a real dick. He’s chastising people for trying to compete. Slamming doors in people’s faces. Ian has coins, but he wants someone else to try to get it first so it’ll be in a better position for him. He comes back out and pretends to have attempted it. Dan moves to go back into the house and Ian follows him. “I’m gunna go get her right now. Nope, cause I know you’re waiting for me to do it. I’ll rat you out in a second.” Danielle goes “I wish you would rat him out cause he’s being an ass”. I… think she’s referring to Dan? Anyways, Ian goes right into the room and gets it. Boom.

Frank’s talking about putting Ian up so that he has to use the Veto on himself. He wants to backdoor Shane so he can’t compete, but he’s worried that Ian’s going to use the Veto on Dan. Britney suggests that Ian wouldn’t use the Veto on anyone if Frank told him that Britney would go up if he did. She’s trying to work it out so that Ian doesn’t go up on the block. That way, if Dan and Danielle get put up on the block and either she or Shane wins the Veto, they can use the two Veto’s to save Dan and Danielle, ensuring that Joe and either Shane or Britney (whoever didn’t win the Veto) are on the block. They’ll then have the numbers to send Joe home, ensuring that all five Quack Pack members remain in the game. Pretty sneaky Britney.

I really don’t get Ian’s game plan here. He refuses to commit to anything and that makes people really nervous. “You do you. That’s all I’m sayin’ is you do you.” “But I thought we were doing we?” Doesn’t he want anyone to trust him? “It’s just… I get scared whenever I have to make decisions…” Oh Ian.

Alright. Nominations. Jenn is safe. Ian is safe. Joe is safe. Britney is safe. Shane is safe. Dan and Danielle are nominated for eviction. No surprises there.

Well that was an exciting episode. And there was just about no snark. Sorry about that. I’ll try to be more of an ass next time on BLOOOGGGG BROOOTTHHHEERRR!!!