Musings on collecting, watches and the internet

1- A watch is an evil mechanical device which makes you spend more than you can afford on something you don’t need.

2- “My collection is complete, this is the very last watch I will EVER buy” is the watch collector’s favorite joke.

3- No you don’t need to buy a Malte Chronograph to go with the new shirt you just bought.

4- You don’t need to buy the whole set of Les Masques to celebrate independence day of Zwaziland…unless you are from Zwaziland.

5- On the net the watch one possesses is superior to anyone else’s watch: even though the two are the exact same watch.

6- On the net everyone else’s watch photos look better than yours.

7- A tourbillon is a device for turning your pockets inside out.

8- A Grand Complication is the situation in which you stand when you have to explain to your better half why the kids’ college money was spent on above mentioned tourbillon.

9- A split seconds chronograph times the interval between the moment you tell said better half about the tourbillon and the moment the frying pan smacks you right in the face.

10- A chronograph is a device used to time your attention span.

11- “Its cheaper to buy a watch than to have a mistress” is an excellent excuse if you find yourself in situation 8 above

12- A dual time watch indicates home time and office time.

13- A world timer is mostly used to learn names of cities which you don’t have the slightest idea where they are.

14- The seconds hand is always on a resting position, it only starts moving once you look at it and sometimes with a lag.

15- Chances that the brand’s whole strategy will be re-thought because your watch gains 7 seconds a day are low.

16- The ultra rare watch you have been looking for finally shows up and you buy it at a premium. Immediately after the market seems to be full of the same model substantially cheaper than what you paid for it.

17- Your most recent watch is the ne plus ultra in terms of movement and design. No one else’s can come close (unless they have the exact same model).