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The Party of "No"

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Rex Ryan talked about going to the White House when he took over as Jets coach
nearly six years ago.

Instead, his tenure with them ended unceremoniously today with a pink slip.

Ryan was fired by owner Woody Johnson as part of a major shakeup that also
included the dismissal of second-year general manager John Idzik.

"After extensive thought and reflection about the current state of our football
team, this morning I informed Rex Ryan and John Idzik that they will not be
returning for the 2015 season," Johnson said in a statement. "Both Rex and John
made significant contributions to the team, and they have my appreciation and
gratitude for their efforts and commitment. Over the years, Rex brought the
Jets a bold confidence and a couple of great post-season runs, which all of us
will remember."

"Getting the Jets back on track is my top priority," Johnson said, "and today's
decisions are important steps towards achieving our goals."

At least this time Johnson hired a football expert to find him a new coach and GM.

Johnson has hired former Houston Texans and Washington Redskins general
manager Charley Casserly as a consultant to help with the search for a new
general manager and coach.

"I am beginning our search for new football leadership, effective immediately,
with guidance and support from respected football experts, including Charley
Casserly and Ron Wolf, two Super Bowl winners with decades of valuable
experience," Johnson said.

Because that executive search firm thing worked out so well last time. Face it,
Idzik was a disaster from the get-go. He essentially set Ryan up to fail. Geno
Smith is not a franchise quarterback. Letting Darrell Revis and Antonio Cromartie
go was a colossal mistake. Not giving long-term deals to standouts like
Wilkerson and Richardson sowed dissent inside the locker room.

The question now is, who's dumb enough to take the job? The Jets are
dysfunctional, the owner is an idiot, and they really need talent.

Sad to say, but Rex Ryan was their best option, mostly because he's the devil
we know. And when it comes to experienced head coaches who might want the nod,
let's just say the pickings are slim.

Jim Harbaugh has 48 million reasons for going to Michigan.

Bill Cowher already told Woody to get stuffed once, he's not going to put his
hat in the ring. Jon Gruden? There's a reason he's in the booth. Ditto for
Tony Dungy, although he does have the quarterback development pedigree in
Peyton Manning.

Possible replacements: Josh McDaniels, Adam Gase, Dan Quinn, Darrell Bevell,
Hue Jackson, Kyle Shanahan, Jack Del Rio. There is no shortage of options, both
those somewhat tested (McDaniels, Del Rio) and those set for a first head
coaching shot. McDaniels, Gase, Jackson, Shanahan and Bevell all would
represent a shift away from the defensive-minded Ryan.

Yawn.

That leaves, Jersey guy Greg Schiano? Puh-lease.

There was an episode of Phineas and Ferb where the boys invent a time
machine and go into the future where they meet their kids, who naturally look
and act just like them. What's the first thing Phineas says? "How are the Jets
doing this year?"

A new color-coded map shows just how much reach your favorite NFL team has
across the United States. Basically, the odds are good that you're surrounded
by like-minded football fanatics — unless your team happens to be the
New York Jets.

The map shows which counties various football fans live based on which NFL
team they "Like" on Facebook. Based on the data, the New York Jets are only
NFL team that failed to win over a single county.

One of Sophie's friends is a big Jets fan like me. She loves to talk football,
I guess because she has something like 17 brothers. Anyway, last week she was
over the house and she said to me that David Garrard was the odd man out in the
Jets' QB rotation. Why? Geno Smith, that's why. Always go with the younger guy.

David Garrard, signed by the Jets as a free agent in March, plans to retire,
according to a source familiar with the situation. The 35-year-old Garrard had
arthroscopic surgery on his left knee last year, and hasn't played in a game
since the 2010 season. That knee still is bothering him, and he has decided
that he cannot continue playing. However, he still is on the Jets' roster, but
that likely will change very soon.

In a text to SiriusXM Radio host Adam Schein on Wednesday, Garrard said he had
to "call it quits" because "my knee is not holding up. Continuing to swell
after practices. Limiting what I can do."

Garrard's retirement would leave four quarterbacks on the Jets' roster: Mark
Sanchez, second-round pick Geno Smith, Greg McElroy and Matt Simms. There had
been much speculation the Jets might release Sanchez, who struggled mightily
last season. But Garrard's impending departure means Sanchez is almost certain
to stick around and compete for the starting job.

Translation: The Jets have been shopping Sanchez around but nobody wants his
bloated contract, and the salary cap hit from releasing him would be too much
for the team to bear. So since they're stuck with Mark Sanchez, they'd better
use Mark Sanchez. Drafting Geno Smith made Garrard superfluous. Simple as that.

The stars have now aligned for Mark Sanchez. Matt Simms will head back to the
practice squad. Greg McElroy will once again warm the bench on clipboard duty.
And Geno Smith will be the designated #2 behind Sanchez so folks will gobble up
his jerseys in the hope Rex will put him in after the bye week.

I don't know about you, but I'm already waiting all day for Sunday Night.
Football, that is. Because now we're assured NBC will continue their tradition
of Hot Blond Country Stars Belting Out The SNF Theme Song with the announcement
that
Carrie Underwood is taking over for the lovely and talented
Faith Hill.

Eat your heart out Tony Romo. Because Mike Fisher is one lucky dude.

And since this is National Offend A Feminist Week, why not make some
Womyn's Studies Majors' heads assplode by displaying a few pictures which
demonstrate conclusively that beauty and talent need not be mutually exclusive.

When the Jets first drafted star cornerback Darrelle Revis NYC Mayor Mike
Bloomberg dubbed Manhatan "Revis Island." That was then. This is now —
the Jets voted Revis off his island in a
trade with Tampa Bay.

The Jets have traded unhappy cornerback Darrelle Revis to Tampa Bay for the
Buccaneers' first-round pick in this year's draft and a conditional
fourth-round pick next year that could turn into a third-rounder, according
to the Buccaneers.

Revis has agreed to terms on a new contract with the Buccaneers, according to
his agents, Neil Schwartz and Jonathan Feinsod, who tweeted that news.

Truthfully Revis has always been a thorn in the Jets' side. When he's good,
he's very good. But he's prone to holdouts and injuries and the
idea of "waiting" or "hoping" he'll step up this season really isn't that
appealing. Not with the team obviously rebuilding this year. They're already
released or traded so many of their starters I had one friend snark at my
Jets t-shirt: erase the "J" and "S" 'cause they got traded too.

Ha ha. Real funny. We're still stuck with Mark Sanchez. And Tim Tebow.
Thank God for NFL Sunday Ticket. I can watch the Niners while the Jets
go 4 and 12.

And of course she's doing it right here in New Jersey, at the Jets' practice
facility in Florham Park.

As one of 40 kickers participating in the NFL's Regional Combine at the Jets'
training facility in Florham Park, Silberman's presence as the first female
entrant will likely garner her added attention in the quest to split the uprights.

The 28-year-old New York City resident played club soccer at the University of
Wisconsin before attending graduate school at MIT, where she wrote her master's
thesis about how athletes use video games to enhance their own performance.

Silberman told the NFL Network last month: "For me what's important is to
finally have a chance to fulfill my dreams by trying out to play in the world's
most competitive football league."

She's at least played some football right? Maybe in the LFL? Nope.
Not one game. Her claim to fame is a fan event where she connected on a field
goal. From that humble beginning, dreams are made.

Dreams of Title IX for the NFL, that is.

On the other hand, more than a few of the guys will be dreaming along the
lines of "I'd hit that."

I imagine they'll be lining up to get flagged 15 yards for roughing the kicker
too.

Speaking of penalties, she won't have to worry too much about illegal hands
to the face, IYKWIMAITYD.

With no actual experience she's got zero chance of moving up to the Super
Regionals in Dallas next month.

And since Regional Combines for specialists are limited to 40 kickers and 50
punters, Silberman's little stunt means there's a potentially deserving college
kicker sitting on his couch while she scores points for the Ya-Ya Sisterhood.

Lauren Silberman has a unique talent. Kicking a football nearly as far as a
quadriplegic.

Silberman is the first (and probably last) womern to try out for the NFL. She
tried out as a placekicker but had only two kicks of 19 and 13 yards. NFL
kickers routinely kick the football 60+ yards. Pee Wee football kickers
routinely kick the ball 19 and 13 yards.

She wants a second chance. Because she was "injured." Maybe she pulled her
vagina?

Rumors that the Jets had slapped a Franchise Tag on Silberman could not be
confirmed at this time.

It's time to bench Rex Ryan. And GM Mike Tannenbaum. Signing Fumbles to that
outlandish contract extension ($8.25 million guaranteed next season)
was undoubtedly the dumbest move ever made by a team that invented
the dumb move.

Is Greg McElroy our guy? Who the hell knows! But he's Not Mark Sanchez, and
that's what the Jets need right now. Actually it's what the Jets needed on
Monday night, when he just might have done what a quarterback is supposed to
do — throw the ball to his own guys, and hang on to those snaps from
center.

As for Fumbles' guaranteed millions? They should cut him from the team and have
Woody Johnson pay him out of his own pocket. To earn his keep put Sanchez to
work parking cars. Of course, he'd probably screw that up too.

Actress Eva Longoria ended her romance with New York Jet Mark Sanchez last
week, and the quarterback is devastated, sources tell
The Post's Page Six.

The 25-year-old NFL star has been telling friends that he and the "Desperate
Housewives" star, 37, decided to end things before Sunday's game, after four
months of dating.

Longoria, ex-wife of San Antonio Spurs star Tony Parker, was absent at the Jets'
loss to the New England Patriots on Sunday, tweeting the Malibu sunset.
Yesterday, she was campaigning for President Obama in Nevada.

She dumped you for an older man Mark. A guy who makes promises he can't keep,
and who's wooing millions of other women to boot. You can do better than a
floozy like that!

What kind of "girlfriend" dumps her guy hours before a big game? She couldn't
wait until Monday? I guess he wanted her to be there for him, and she said
"no." Mark's GQ charm was no match for Dear Leader's dedication to protecting
her lady parts. He whispered "I'll tax the rich!" and she swooned.

At least now we know why Sanchez fumbled in overtime. He was missing his gal.

You can do better Mark. She was too old for you anyway. Hang with Tebow.
He'll introduce you to some girls with class. The kind of girl you can
proudly take home to mama.

We hopped the #71 bus to Newark Penn Station at 4 PM. The NJ Transit web site
said it was the best option. What it didn't say was, #71 goes all over Hell's
three acres. And back. I think there was a stop in Pennsylvania. Or maybe it
was Delaware. It was hard to tell. But at 5:30 we finally pulled onto Raymond
Blvd and into the Penn Station bus lanes.

Whew.

From there it was smooth sailing. As soon as we got off the bus two kids
saw our Jets jerseys and started the J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets chant. We
high-fived 'em and made a beeline for the ticket window. The clerk was
a Jets fan! He got us set up with train tickets lickedity split. Well,
ticket. Turns out kids under 12 are free on weekends.

Thanks NJ Transit!

Hop the train on track 1, get off in Secaucus, and switch to another train
for the short hop to the stadium. I must say, the NJ Transit station in
Secaucus is amazing. Helpful staff. Clean. Big, bright signage.
Did I mention the helpful staff? We're strolling along and a woman says
"you better hurry, the train is leaving in one minute". It helps to wear
a Jets jersey! Sophie started running and I huffed and puffed to keep up.

We made the train. What fun! There were Jets fans everywhere, all pumped
up for the game. Everyone had beer! That's what I call traveling in style.

The game kinda sucked though. Same old Jets. Sophie had a good time though,
hanging with Dad and eating her way through the game. $8.50 for a hot dog?
But she proclaimed it the Best Hotdog Ever so who am I to argue?

Mom picked us up after she got off work (Yea Mom!) and we stopped for quick
bite at Jose Tejas on the way home.

Sophie slept until noon.

And the paper confirmed what anyone with brains could see during the game,
Wayne Hunter is not up to the job at right tackle. Dude, eat some freakin'
Wheaties! Tammy thinks it's because he cut his hair, he's not scary anymore.
Maybe. Sanchez is dead meat if Hunter can't block and right now everybody
knowns that Wayne Hunter can't block his grandmother. If I was the coach I'd
put Wilkerson into that spot because they need a big guy to stop the pass rush.
Any learning curve on his part can't be as bad Hunter repeating the same
mistakes he made last year.

Dude's gotta know he can't phone it in, guaranteed contract or no guaranteed
contract. Or this time next year he's coaching high school football in Idaho.

In other news, today was yard work day. Thrilling, I know. Yet, necessary.

The weeds are winning. I'm pretty sure they know that.

Why is it that the deer eat my tomatoes and my flowers and my shrubs but
not one single stinkin' weed? Are they in cahoots with the weeds? Is it
some kind of conspiracy? I have a hunch they're out to make me crazy.

The NFL will start hiring and training possible replacement officials with a
deal not yet completed with the NFL Referees Association.

The league said that regional training sessions for replacement officials would
begin this month "to ensure that there is no disruption to NFL games this season."

"Our goal is to maintain the highest quality of officiating for our teams,
players, and fans, including proper enforcement of the playing rules and
efficient management of our games," the league said in a statement.

The NFL's search would target retired college officials and perhaps current
ones who would be qualified to work professional games.

On the one hand, where do I sign up? Because I could so do that job!

I reffed a flag football game once; that's gotta count as "experience," right?
And I can yell at the TV better than anyone so I'd be ideal for the replay
booth too. C'mon commish, I'm waitin' by the phone…

OK, on a more serious note, the zebras do work their butts off and it seems
silly to shortchange them. That said though, there's no indication from the
article of what the impasse is about, so it's hard to say which side needs
to budge. But it's crazy to try and run an NFL season with anything less
than the professional referees we've come to know and hate
love.

Figure it out guys. Or don't complain when a blind blogger from New Jersey
muffs what (to you) should have been an obvious call.

Any resemblance between that commercial and my pending NFL officiating debut is
purely coincidental. Honest.

The Jets pulled a reverse Friday night, and Mark Sanchez was the beneficiary.

After making headlines for their pursuit of free agent quarterback Peyton
Manning, the Jets turned around and gave incumbent Sanchez a three-year
extension. Sanchez had two seasons left on his five-year rookie deal, so
that means he will be under contract to the Jets through the end of the
2016 season.

The three-year extension is worth $40.5 million according to a source, with
the five remaining years worth $58.25 million. There is $20.5 million in
guaranteed money.

Finally, Gang Green gets one right! Peyton was never gonna play in the same
stadium as his little brother, no matter how much money Woody Johnson dangled
in front of him.

So, how about a little flight crew love for Mark?

Hopefully they freed up enough cap space to go out and get some guys who can
(a) tackle and (b) block. Last season's woes weren't entirely the fault of
Santonio Holmes you know; the offensive line was weak and Sanchez often had
no time in the pocket. Eat some Wheaties™ fellas! And tackling from
behind is no way to win football games. Maybe the coaches could work on
that during the off-season.

Meanwhile Peyton is
visiting Denver (so much for Tebow-mania, eh?) and he'll flirt with Kansas
City before heading back to Miami to talk to
the Fish.

OK Giants fans, you can stop texting me now. I get it. Your team won. You've
got playoff tickets. I've got a front-row seat on the couch next to my remote
control. Now call me when you beat a team that isn't dysfunctional or
quarterbacked by a cripple.

Yeah, that was a cheap shot. So sue me.

As for the Jets? It's said there's no "I" in Team. There ain't no
Santonio Holmes neither.

That's always been the Jets' problem. Prima donnas. They attract 'em like
white on rice, and let 'em run wild. For all his bravado, if Rex Ryan can't
control his own locker room, how in the hell can he expect to reach the Super
Bowl?

Oh, you thought I was talking about 2012 and Rep. Paul Ryan? No, that would
be a pretty cool combo too, but right now Governor Awesome is happily singing
the praises of another famous Ryan — Rex Ryan, Head Coach of
"New Jersey's Jets!"

From the press release:

During a press conference in Newark on Tuesday Governor Christie said that
although Rex Ryan was not born in New Jersey, there are few people who are
more like New Jersey in so many ways. A Jets fan, the Governor said he hopes
Rex Ryan takes "New Jersey's Jets" to the Super Bowl.

It'll be Jets - Steelers for the AFC Championship Game, just like I predicted.
Tom Brady and Bill Belichick can only get to Dallas if they buy a ticket. I
hope your couch is comfy fellas; you'll be spending a lot of time on it.

The Jets defense flummoxed Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, sacking him five
times and intercepting Brady for the first time since Week 6. And the offense
made plays when needed, led by Mark Sanchez efficiently throwing for three
scores (and no interceptions) and the running combination of Shonn Greene and
LaDainian Tomlinson eclipsing four yards per carry.

The NFL has thoroughly examined Jenn Sterger and her allegations of inappropriate
sextual advances on the part of Brett Favre. And really, who wouldn't want to
thoroughly examine Jenn Sterger?

Ms. Sterger, a former NY Jets game hostess, alleged that the future Hall of Fame
quarterback sent her explicit text messages and photos, including a picture of a
penis, during and after his tenure with the Jets.

But it wasn't until Favre left the Jets for Minnesota that Sterger's story
got legs. The league immediately opened an investigation, which finally
concluded today.

Brett Favre will be fined $50,000, not for any alleged misconduct, but for
failing to "cooperate" with the NFL's investigation.

In the end they couldn't prove Favre sent the photos, or that the photos in
question were even of his manly bits.

So they got him on a "Martha Stewart" — a trumped up charge of (maybe)
not fully telling the truth.

Meanwhile Ms. Sterger has continued exploiting her 15 minutes of fame, first
with a risque Maxim photo shoot, and then by leaving nothing to the
imagination for Playboy.

I guess a Jenn Sterger Sex Tape is not far behind. Not that I have any
direct knowledge of a Jenn Sterger Sex Tape, no not me. I've never seen a
Jenn Sterger Sex Tape. If there were indeed a Jenn Sterger Sex Tape I don't
think I'd actually get a copy, let alone show it to you guys.

But on the off chance that some teenage perv is Googling away in search of
a mythical Jenn Sterger Sex Tape I'm not above lusting after the hits.

The Mexican reporter who claimed Jets players made inappropriate comments at
her now says she "never felt attacked" by what happened in the locker room.

Knockout TV correspondent Ines Sainz claimed Jets head coach Rex Ryan, one of
his assistants and some of the team's players allegedly pestered her with goofy,
on-field antics and locker-room catcalls.

But in her piece for Mexican TV station DeporTV that ran last night, Sainz said
she never felt offended and that the whole situation was taken out of context.

"In my opinion, I never felt attacked, nor that they reacted grossly toward me,"
she said. "I arrived in the locker room and there were comments and games. One
of the other reporters came up to me and apologized for what was happening, but
I thought [the players] were joking around."

I thought all along this incident was much ado about nothing. Sometimes guys
and gals just goof around. It's not sexual harassment. At most it's harmless
flirtation; the kind of thing that happens when hot sexy girls mingle with
warm-blooded athletic men.

Nobody ever said that football players had to be monks. And there is zero
chance that anyone will confuse Ines Sainz with a nun. She's got it goin'
on, and she flaunts her assets at every opportunity.

Sure Ms. Sainz is a serious sports reporter. She spends 3 hours preparing for
every game. Five minutes to study the stats, and 2 hours and 55 minutes
to pack her booty into those skin-tight jeans.

That picture on the left, it's the actual outfit she wore at the Jets
practice facility.

Yowza.

All work and no play makes Ines a boring girl. Ines Sainz is not
boring!