Herein lies the video to the almighty Manowar’s “Gloves of Metal”. You know how hard it is to do anything in gloves of metal? Pretty hard. Try squirting ketchup onto your plate of tasty fries…you can’t! Your fingers don’t bend! So you know if someone is rockin’ gloves of metal they are about to rock your face with metal. Or something. Anyway…wait for the special effects at 3:30.

I have only been able to watch approximately 28 seconds of "Randy Jackson Presents America's Best Dance Crew", but that has been enough for me to realize these "crews" certainly ain't no Solid Gold Dancers. Doing backflips to Rihanna just doesn't stack up against Hall & Oates-induced shoulder wiggles and jazz hands. But wait until you get a minute and fifteen seconds into this clip from Season 5 of Solid Gold. Try that off a table the next time you try to impress the innocuously grooving girl in the corner with the bottle of Peroni. Superman that ho? Bitch please! Look at these dudes sassy-snap their fingers and tell me who be gettin' more unitard tail. Perhaps the most startling revelation in this clip comes when they introduce the #3 song. Which is by Jermaine Jackson. Jermaine Jackson. Jermaine Jackson had a #3 song. That people were paid to dance to. Ronald Reagan and Jermaine Jackson. Ahhhh the '80s!!!