Question

How can I be more patient with my toddler?

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Sometimes I feel so angry when my son doesn't cooperate or makes messes. I've even spanked his bottom, or forced his legs to the changing table when he keeps pulling them up to his chest. I feel horrible about doing this. How can I stop?

Mom Answers

I have to remember that my 2.5 year old is being a 2.5 year old. My frustration needs to be directed at who it should be. The teenager who won't put his clothes away. The spouse who won't pick up a dish or clean the yard. I have learned to pick my battles. If my teenager wants to live like a pig I change the WiFi password. If the yard is a mess I take the little one to the park. When I finally do it all myself I throw it all in the garbage.

I think a lot of people even ones I have seen commenting here, have way to many expectations for your toddlers. They are TODDLERS! you are adults. No child that small should be hit for what ever reason. Sorry to be blunt but it is true. it is our jobs to teach them, the only thing they are learning from you hitting them is to fear you, in that way they can not look up to you nor can they actually respect you. They may only listen out of fear of being hit but not truly respect. You all have to remember these are just small children, they have not been in this world very long at all, we as parents have to be the ones they can look up to and trust, by hitting them is teaching them its ok to hit for one thing and 2 that they have no one to trust/love them. I know that no human being is perfect even adults but sometimes we as parents need our own time outs, if you feel like hitting and yelling, take a time out for your self, leave the room if your at home and put your child in a safe place.

hi....Autism is a developmental disorder that causes problems with communication, social interactions and behavior. The delays in these three areas in autistic children result in special challenges for teachers, since learning does not occur the same way as with their typical peers. Teaching toddlers with autism takes patience and persistence, since it takes time to find a teaching method that works for the individual child. http://www.gymflooringuk.co.uk/

Try to keep in mind that every behavior a child does has a healthy impulse behind it... it is either developmentally normal behavior, curiosity, or attempting to resolve an unmet need. The key is to figure out which of these is the cause, and find a healthy way for them to express the impulse.
Just remembering that their intentions aren't bad (it is the behavior that sucks, not the reason for it!) can help change your perspective.

The messes drive me nuts. I have a two sided head: I let my child make messes but in my heart, I can't stand them. I know they are important for child development. Family and friends say I have incredible patience. No, I don't, I contain my true feelings. I just know this is the way it should be, has to be, and that this will pass. I know I can get through this with one child but one child only (and I can't have anymore so no problem). I know I could not do (all) of this again so peacefully. Mop, sweep, pick-up and again and again and again and wash clothes and make special child dinners. Sorry folks, there is really a side to having a child that is not fun at all and is exhausting and will take you to your ------- fill in the blanks with what you feel. My mom had senility. I could see the wear of taking care of her on my Dad although he infinitely loved her. The same for a child, although a child is "future" and senility is "futility".

I can relate. My 22 month old never wants to go into the highchair or car seat. Sometimes I have to hold him down to get him buckled up in the car seat. I feel so bad cause he starts screaming but I have tried everything from toys to cookies. I get so frustrated I start yelling at him and he just crys louder. And sometimes when he is not getting my attention he just screams and it gets on my nerves if it happens alot in the day. I just want to pull my hair out. I just yell and tell him to be quite but that of course works for 5 seconds. I dont have much patience which I really need to learn. He is my one and only child and I feel like i am being a bad mom. After I cool down I think of how lucky I am to have him and I feel so bad. I need to appreciate him more but when I am in the angry moment I forget. I really just need to learn how to be more patient. I am the adult so its up to me and its not his fault.

I love the hug time out thing where mom counts slowly to 10 during a big hug but I am afraid there are some days I just might squish them in a bear hug or scoop them up too fast. I am online reading these things when I should be sleeping. I got 4 hours of sleep last night. I will probably get 4 tonight. I have a teething infant and a headstrong toddler. I love them both, lately I have been beginning to fear that my older son has developmental issues and may be a special needs child but I will cross that bridge when I get to it, he has doctors appointments lined up and the best thing for me right now is to stop worrying and trying to look things up until I am convinced and paranoid. I yelled today. I feel terrible. I didn't yell AT either child, but I yelled 'SHUT UP!' at the ceiling. No wonder my older son doesn't talk. All he does is make a terrible muffled droning noise and flap his arm. Yes, I know this could be autism, and yes I know that makes my yelling even that much worse. :(

WOW! I joined this site 10 minutes ago looking for....SOMETHING! Thank you all for your honesty here as I have been feeling like a failure due to my frustration with my 2 girls, almost 5 & 3. I have been so short tempered & on edge I have been considering medication (which I DO NOT WANT OR THINK I NEED) but thanks to all of the honest answers to let me know THIS REALLY IS NORMAL FOR MOMS! I don't feel so alone now & am ready to go home & face the whining & crying & meltdowns & tantrums with a new attitude. I really am not alone anymore. Thanks moms!!!

Its very relieving to know that we aren't going through this alone and aren't the only ones. I tried the first comment with lowering my voice and no kidding it worked just like that! I am not a patient person by any means and my son pushes my boundaries very much so. Redirecting has helped me calm him down from tempertantrums but Ive found that it doesn't teach him by any means what im trying to get him to do. Like calm down, or the sign language. But it is good when trying to get him to stay away from sockest stuff like that i tell him no and give him a toy.

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