Yesterday was crappy. I didn't get as much done as I wanted to,* I argued with Beloved,** and I just had trouble focusing.

Today, however, I have had a better day with the working and the learning and the studying. The sad part is, I skipped going to the gym in order to feel this way. That does make me sad. I've lost a good bit of weight, but I'd like to lose some more, in order to be the svelt Zuska that I was before injuries (minor) and law school conspired to Bloat Me. I haven't lost any weight in at least a month.

Today, I got up at 8, apparently forgetting to set my alarm for 7 last night. By the time I dragged my sorry ass out of bed, it was 8:30, and I was cringing at the visions of not starting my studies until almost noon again.

So I stayed home. I did some BarBri advanced questions (shittily) and then took a shower and took Commercial Paper and the essay book to a cafe. I struggled through Commercial Paper, then flipped to a few Commercial Paper essays and thought "wo! this has NOTHING to do with what I just learned!" and then once again convinced myself that it's the model answers that are stupid, not me. Because I HATE the model answers. And it's not just b/c they tell me I'm wrong, but sometimes, it's b/c I *know* they're wrong. I know it. They answer with multi-state principles despite the fact that we KNOW that Massachusetts is different. They're dumb. I hate them.

THEN I went and got a Chicken Shawarma with EXTRA garlic sauce. Yeah, Beloved's working today. I ate that while studying the chart on comparative and contributory negligence, to the point that I think I may actually be able to puzzle through it all. Now I'm going to go do 50 Torts Q's, then I'm going to review Trusts, and then I'm going to do essays.

I think this feeling of accomplishment was worth skipping the gym. Even though it makes me sad.

Also, I think getting out of the house and going to the cafe, and then the walk to the Shawarma joint really helped me to just feel better in general. I even tossed around the idea of taking the Red Book of Questions (which I am nowhere near even 1/2 way through, even though every one else in the Bar Prep Universe is already 3/4ths through the elusive Blue Book) to the park. In hte sunshine. With some water. On the grass.

Unfortunately, I suspect that I will fall to sleep, and then, during the real exam, I won't do well, what without the sunshine and the grass and all.

* Although I did: clean my room, clean up the kitchen, do 6 loads of laundry and pack for Europe as a run-through to see which bag would work. These things were not done because I had to do them that moment. They were evasive maneuvers.