Bigger is better: Parents with four or more children happiest despite chaos, research finds

Families with four or more children enjoy the greatest life satisfaction, a five-year study by Perth's Edith Cowan University has found.

Bronwyn Harman, a lecturer in the School of Psychology and Social Science, asked parents from different family types about resilience, social support and self-esteem.

She found that parents with four or more children had the best ratings in each of these areas.

The second-highest life-satisfaction scores, separated by just 0.25 per cent, were parents who identified as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or queer (LGBTQ).

"With large families, we think they have social support within the family," Dr Harman said.

"The kids are never bored, they have someone to play with and they get independence quite early on."

Everyone — chill out. What is important for kids are things like consistency, boundaries and [to] know that they are loved, no matter what.

Dr Bronwyn Harman

Dr Harman's research revealed most big families were planned, but parents with many children described regularly being asked if they were Catholic, if they had a television and whether the children all had the same father.

The disadvantages of having a larger family, such as the expense and time pressures, were balanced out by the joy their children gave them.

"Parents accept that there is chaos in their lives but it does not negate the happiness they get from their families," Dr Harman explained.

She said the effort it took for LGBTQ indentifying parents to have children, using IVF, surrogacy or adoption, could explain their high life-satisfaction rating.

"These children are not accidents — the parents have to go to a lot of trouble and expense and forethought — so the child is very much desired," Dr Harman said.

"They see the child as an absolute blessing and something they may not have considered as being possible for them."

Mother of 16 children would like to have more

Such parents were also facing few pressures from the wider community around their sexuality.

"Stigma about same-sex parents is becoming lessened as we become more understanding of diversity," Dr Harman added.

Jeni Bonell has 16 children, aged one to 25, and agreed that her extra large family had made her and her husband very happy.

"I've just found over the years that I have truly loved having all these babies and watching them grow," Ms Bonell told 720 ABC Perth.

"We try really hard to make sure everyone gets individual time with mum and dad.

"They also have all this amazing support from their brothers and sisters as well."

Life can be chaotic and the family's weekly food bill can be up to $700, but she said the older children did most of the cooking.

"Every Sunday night, the older two that don't live here and my mum, come round for a roast dinner," Ms Bonell said, adding that she would like to have more children.

"We have this great big mass of people and we just laugh and tell jokes and it is so much fun."

Although Dr Harman's research found family type did affect parents' life satisfaction, it did not necessarily make a difference to a child's upbringing.

"It's not the family make-up that makes a difference to how a child is parented, it is the family processes," Dr Harman said.

People can parent well irrespective of their gender, age, relationship status, sexuality or income and the lesson was for parents to stop worrying about such things.

"Everyone — chill out. It's not important," she said.

"What is important for kids are things like consistency, boundaries and [to] know that they are loved, no matter what."

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