10 More Great Zingers from Law & Order’s Lennie Briscoe

Even in a show so eminently quotable as Law & Order, Jerry Orbach’s character Dectective Lennie Briscoe stands out—fans waited for his endless string of hilariously cringe-worthy one-liners week after week, and they were never disappointed. Get ready to laugh out loud, we’ve uncovered a new batch of quotes from Detective Briscoe.

“No, this was done by someone who knows the neighborhood. Satan’s not a local.”

“Great. If we knew who it was, we’d know who it was.”

“Hey, they pay me good money to look like an idiot.”

“Some alibi—’I'm an extortionist, not an arsonist.’”

“Johnson’s the 43rd cabbie killed in the last 12 months. These guys have shorter life spans than fruit flies.”

“Maybe some guy didn’t wear his aluminum hat and some rays told him to knock on doors and kill people.”

“My daughter could go through my family fortune in a day and a half.”

“You remember the seven rings of Saturn? Well, these are the two rings of Rikers.”

“Maybe you’d like to check your files before you trip and hurt yourself.”

“You know, if I didn’t already know you don’t have kids, I’d know you don’t have kids.”

“I told you, you should have gone to bed with her. You’re getting the grief without getting the gravy.”