The Lack Of Self Awareness Is Strong In This One....

As readers of this blog may be aware, I like to visit Spain from time to time and I enjoy comparing and contrasting the state of play abroad with the situation at home in good old Blighty – particularly with regards to family values and culture. And one of my ‘pet topics’ (if you’ll pardon the pun), is the prevailing attitude towards children and animals.

Well, it's certainly a lot different in Spain, I'll grant you! Particularly when it comes to animals.

Remaining in the land of beer gardens and drizzle (yes, Blighty), during a recent visit to a popular family pub in Fulking, I spotted a chalk board that stated: “dogs and children welcome”. This caught my attention: note that the canines were placed first, before the kids. Is this some sort of Freudian slip, I wondered? If the sign had read “children welcome” and then underneath “dogs welcome”, that would be preferable in my book.

But it's not your pub, is it? So I fail to see why the owners should feel the need to consult you on preferred signwriting etiquette.

Get your own business, love, and you can have any sign you want outside, within reason...

I recollect another sign in a popular Hanover pub that read “children are welcome in this area if quiet and well behaved” . Hmm! How many toddlers do you know who will sit still for the duration of Sunday dinner without moving or making any noise?

You mean, the pub should welcome children who aren't well behaved? I can't see that going down too well with the clientele, unless they expect to only ever cater for parents like you:

It is the concept of child movement that causes the most serious problems, it seems. Recently, my family was asked to leave a bar on St James Street because the kids were “running around” …

Hmm, let's see: people walking back to their tables with glass bottles and expensive drinks in their hands, bar staff serving hot food with sharp cutlery...

Nope, I can't see a single reason why they'd be at all upset that little Willow and Kingfisher are running round the place at top speed, screaming their lungs out, can you?

… on a recent flight from Spain to Newcastle, an angry fellow passenger complained to me: “how would you feel if a child was standing up on his seat and looking at you?” Well, perish the thought! A child looking at an adult. Sheesh.

/facepalm

Look, sweetie, if this was in flight, you'd have the possibility of turbulance. If taxiing, the pilot might need to brake suddenly.

The reason the other passengers were looking aghast was not because your child had the temerity to look at them, but because in those circumstances, an unrestrained child is a potential hazard. And you are no doubt the sort of 'my kids can do no wrong!' parent who'd then sue the airline!

If the young and the elderly were better integrated into family life, and welcome in the same café/bar/restaurants as the ‘male vertical volume drinkers’ (yes, that is a bona fide alcohol industry term), perhaps the incidence of binge drinking in Britain would be reduced.

I think it'd be more likely to go up! God knows, if I had to share a pub with your badly-behaved, noisy brats, I'd start necking the WKD and Bacardi Breezers like there's no tomorrow...

It also strikes me that, in Britain, we’re far more sympathetic towards animals than children. While I don’t condone the placing of a poor, unsuspecting cat in a dustbin, look at the national media brouhaha caused by the lady in Coventry performing her evil act against cat-kind.

Look at the national brouhaha over Baby P...

I wager that the same crime wouldn’t have attracted attention in other European countries, where people aren’t so sentimental about their pets.

It certainly wouldn’t in the Spain you’re so fond of, sweetie. And I know, as a consequence of that, where I’d sooner live.

Once, in a Northern supermarket, I viewed the results of a charity scheme where customers were given a green token at the checkout and they had the choice of three charities upon which to bestow their token and, hence, their support. At the end of the process, the store would donate money according to which box contained the most tokens.

This scheme is used in Waitrose; even the colour of the tokens is identical. Since when was it a ‘Northern’ supermarket?

One was for a rotary club, and it was almost empty. The other two options involved help for local children or help for local squirrels. Guess which one “won” all the tokens? Yes, it was the squirrels.

There you go, then, love. Can't argue with that.

The market has spoken! It says 'Discipline your children to the point where they don't make our nights out a living nightmare, or whenever we get a chance, what money we don't have to fork out for the like of you in tax, we'll gladly give to tree rats instead!'

15 comments:

This woman sounds like a right tool.I worked in the pub industry for years and I used to hate people like her with a passion. They think their kids can do no wrong and are genuinely perplexed when people disagree with that assessment.After 14 years working in pubs, the only conclusion I can come to is that they are no place for children. There are plenty of places to take your kids. Pubs are simplt not appropriate.Although in the climate following the smoking ban, the traditional pub is gone and they all seem be be being remodled into some kind of family orientated McDonalds that serves booze.They want to wipe out the ‘male vertical volume drinkers’. Might as well stay at home.

Geez, no one ever thought about popping kiddies on the sign as it would have been acknowledged as standard. My mum was born in an Oirish boozer in Hudds and it was one of the only boozers to sell to Navvies.

And WTF was that about 'integrating' older people!! I ran a boozer for a couple of years and the oldies used to drink sweet FA yet we walked over to collect the 'ladies' on Saturday evenings, asked people to shift, took their orders!! Stupid cow.

One of the worst things about boozers shutting down is the oldies not having a place to talk bollox with us 'male vertical drinkers'.

'Discipline your children to the point where they don't make our nights out a living nightmare,!

Actually it's not necessary, a bit of creative parenting allows children to have fun, learn, "be children" without bothering people or letting them play in dangerous places.

Such people are correct when they wish their children to have freedom and fun. The point they miss is that it mustn't be dangerous or get in the way of other people having fun.

They seem to want to continue their lives of eating in gastro pubs going to art galleries etc without realising that they may not do that if it's not the best option for the children or the other people in those places.

They choose to have children and have a duty to look after them without imposing on others. They can only do gastro pubs etc if they have organised fun childcare elsewhere for the kids, or they could just have a picnic in a play park?

I worked in the pub industry for years and I used to hate people like her with a passion. They think their kids can do no wrong and are genuinely perplexed when people disagree with that assessment."

I dob't go to pubs as often as I used to, and unruly kids are one reason.

"I hadn't seen that you'd commented on her previous article before now."

Oh, I'll be keeping an eye on her. She promises to be almost as entertaining as Polly Toynbee annd Yasmin Alibhai-Brown rolled into one!

"If that was the Formby Waitrose near Southport then I'm not surprised that the squirrels won as it is one of the few remaining enclaves of the red squirrel in England."

Aha! That could well be it.

"I'm sick of parents who believe their kids act like trump cards wherever they go."

That, or a meal ticket...

"You might want to have a meal in North Carolina..."

Splendid idea!

"One of the worst things about boozers shutting down is the oldies not having a place to talk bollox with us 'male vertical drinkers'. "

Indeed! A lot of the cafes here have taken up the slack, it seems.

"They seem to want to continue their lives of eating in gastro pubs going to art galleries etc without realising that they may not do that if it's not the best option for the children or the other people in those places. "

Adults these days seem less like adults, and more like children themselves. Selfishness rules.

"They seem to want to continue their lives of eating in gastro pubs going to art galleries etc without realising that they may not do that if it's not the best option for the children or the other people in those places. "

Adults these days seem less like adults, and more like children themselves. Selfishness rules.

And then they complain when their kids act like kids. I know someone who took their 7 year old to Florenceand "oh, he really did play up on that trip". Really? A 7 year old doesn't appreciate the Uffizi? Kids that age should be digging up beaches and kicking footballs around.