I always love it when people take a game with a rushed, unimaginative plot (DMC 3 was the only exception...where the fuck did those awesome writers go?) and then actually do something interesting with it. I especially like how you took Kyrie-perhaps the most neglected DMC character of all-and made her into an authentic character, especially considering what little you had to go on in the game.

One of the things I appreciated about this fic is that it gives the DMC universe enough just depth to tell a story in. Your description of the rank system in what remains of the Order of Knights was a step in the right direction, but I vote to take it a step further. I'd always wondered how alert ordinary people are of the existence of devils, and how that affects their lives. Capcom, sadly putting little emphasis on immersion in the DMC series, never shows us this facet, and being that these are the people that Nero and the knights are trying to protect, it might be a good idea to show a few here and there, if only in passing, as well as to be more attentive to the setting in general. I know it seems like a moot point to talk about the setting when the characters concerned are near-invincible badasses who can cut down scores of demons without breaking a sweat, but as a storytelling tool it could prove very useful for atmosphere, character development (maybe a certain type of setting could remind Nero of “that day” when he got the devil bringer? Just an idea), and especially in creating a sense of special awareness, which is vital when writing the sorts of crazy, over the top fight scenes that are common with DMC.

Finally, the plot potential here is delicious, so try to keep up the momentum and keep us guessing. And remember, we all love surprises!

One thing that bugged me about the fourth game is that Dante changes tune, almost mid-sentence, and gives Nero Yamato for no apparent reason. Holes like that just beg to be filled (Oops, dirty pun) and it looks like you're working up to that.

I also like your take on Kyrie here, although if she's such the expert, wouldn't she already be familiar with all the books Nero's flipping through?

Neat, Nero isn't Vergil is he ? Or can Vergil just influence Nero because of Yamato and his devil bringer ?

Since it has just been a decade or so since Devil May Cry 3, I don't see Nero as Vergil's son. If Nero is just 10 or so years younger than the twins, he could be a half brother or a cousin of theirs.

I do like seeing Dante as an older brother, he can have someone who can give as much trouble as he gave Vergil. But Dante being Dante he loves it and just loving annoys Nero. Somehow I can see Dante actually finding it funny that he is related to Nero, while Nero just curses.

Again, good writing. Your descriptions are spot on for giving enough depth to get a rough image and draw from there as need be. And your characterizations are still top too, particularly Nero. I'm very interested to see where you take this plot-wise, particularly the Faceless Woman. That intrigues me, possibly more than Vergil taking control of the 'half-pint'.

I like what you have so far for plot setup, and your character descriptions and attitudes seem spot on to me. Good to see Kyrie as more than a flat 'help me' sort of tool. Love your dialogues, too, they're pretty entertaining. Keep writing, your work is lovely. :)