1. Godzilla (1998) - I remember being psyked to see this as they were keeping how Godzilla looked in the film such a big secret. Okay so opening night we are standing in line at the mall after hours so the shops are closed. Of course the toy store close to the movie theater had a prominate display of the toys they set up after closing right in front so we all got a good view of how craptastic Godzilla looked. I should have went with my gut feeling and left the line right then and there, but I was with friends. At least the Japanese got their revenge on Roland Emmerich years later.

2. Speed 2 - Cruise Control - It should have been subtitled: Snooze Control. I fell asleep at work while watching this. Granted it was a slow tuesday morning, but still.

3. War of the Worlds (2005) - Spielberg really dropped the ball on this one. On principle I dislike Tom Cruise, but I am willing to admit he has a few good performances that I do like (Interview With A Vampire, Minority Report, Magnolia). Here his character is completely unlikable, and I get that he was supposed to be an 'everyman/joe schmo' thrown into extraordinary circumstances. The CGI aliens were awful, and but for a few inspired action sequences the rest of it was really dull (there's something really awesome going on just over that hill, but you'll just have to trust me on it )

4. Land of the Lost (2009) - completely misses the fun and the point of the 70's show. Plus I have never seen a film more hyped and marketed towards children before that was not a kids movie!!!!

5. Boondock Saints (1999) - now this might be blasphemy as this film is widely regarded in some circles as a prime example of low budget filmmaking that works. It has an somewhat interesting story, and I like Willem Dafoe's performance a lot. I think this is a case of subsequent viewings the ineptitude of the director comes through for me. Almost every sequence in the film ends with a fade out!. That really annoys me. Plus his general douchery has tainted this one beyond redemption for me. I don't plan on ever watching the sequel.

6. Going Overboard (1989) - Lo and behold Adam Sandler's first film. Try to get past the first 5 minutes...

7. Armageddon (1998) - Now I have a pretty big suspension of disbelief when it comes to science fiction/or action films, but this takes the cake for overblown productions. Ben Affleck's 'I love you!' moment with Liv Tyler is probably the most contrived sequence ever committed to celluloid. If Hollywood had enough brains they would have combined this with the more serious Deep Impact, and balanced out the faults in both and you would have had a decent film.

8. Night of The Living Dead 3D (2006) - completely pointless, and an insult to the makers and actors of the original. Sid Haig should know better, but meat's meat and man's gotta eat I guess.

9. Highlander II : The Quickening - they're aliens??? Whut???

10. House of the Dead (2003) - Uwe Boll, 'nuff said about that one.

11. Alone In The Dark (2005) - Another Uwe Boll masterpiece... this time adapting the great-grandfather of survivial horror games. What could have been a fun Lovecraftian mystery turns out to be a complete unwatchable mess.

12. Batman and Robin (1997) - George Clooney playing George Clooney. Much more enjoyable to watch without the sound turned on.

13. Congo (1995) - I have to agree with an earlier poster about this one, another over-hyped/over marketed film that was somewhat exciting up until they actually arrive at the lost city. Then it all goes downhill. (Note to future filmakers the plot device of a lost land being around for untold millennia that ends in cataclysmic destruction within mere hours of the appearance of white explorers is way overused).

14. Donnie Darko (Director's Cut) - I really enjoyed Donnie Darko, so when I heard there was a director's cut coming out I was excited. Whatever mystique there was for me about the original is just about ruined here. From the unecessary song changes, and explanations tacked on, I just hated it.

15. This is reserved for any film that uses a sequence where the actors suddenly sing along to a nostalgic song to manipulate the audience into some sort of phony emotional response. (Jerry MaGuire, My Best Friend's Wedding...ect)

Whew... that felt good to get off of my chest.

Logged

" Society doesn't accept us because of what we are, so we're an enemy of society. " - Pa Mooney, THE RATS ARE COMING! THE WEREWOLVES ARE HERE!

I don't think HOUSE OF 1000 MANIACS is good by ny stretch of the imagination, but it's the most fun Rob Zombie movie I've seen. It's a true bad movie in that you can laugh at how incredibly self-indulgent it is.

That's the only Rob Zombie movie I've ever seen. So that's actually his best one? Yikes.

hehe... not really, I think he could do better... But its really hard for him to improve when a bunch of tweens think he's movies are the best thing that happen in horror in a long, long time. Although I guess those tweens never seen Mother's Day.

I actually love The Devil's Rejects. Sleaze was Rob Zombie's goal, and sleaze he accomplished. I had a great time watching it. I am actually most worried about disappointing the good Rev., who has an otherwise impeccable taste in movies.

Wait, I thought you lost all respect for my opinions when I only gave UHF 3 out of 5 stars?

Logged

"The basic plot is that Donna Speir and Hope Marie Carlton, the two undercover DEA agent Playboy Playmates from the last movie, are still running around in jungle shorts, cowboy boots and spaghetti strap T-shirts, firing their machine guns at drug smugglers, Filipino communist guerrillas, and corrupt federal agents while their two friends, Lisa London and Miss May 1984 Patty Duffek, lounge around the pool a lot and talk on speaker phones that look like fax machines."-Joe Bob on SAVAGE BEACH

14. Donnie Darko (Director's Cut) - I really enjoyed Donnie Darko, so when I heard there was a director's cut coming out I was excited. Whatever mystique there was for me about the original is just about ruined here. From the unecessary song changes, and explanations tacked on, I just hated it.

Yeah, I can see that. I wouldn't say I hate the director's cut, but the changes made the movie worse for sure.

Logged

"The basic plot is that Donna Speir and Hope Marie Carlton, the two undercover DEA agent Playboy Playmates from the last movie, are still running around in jungle shorts, cowboy boots and spaghetti strap T-shirts, firing their machine guns at drug smugglers, Filipino communist guerrillas, and corrupt federal agents while their two friends, Lisa London and Miss May 1984 Patty Duffek, lounge around the pool a lot and talk on speaker phones that look like fax machines."-Joe Bob on SAVAGE BEACH

Ladies and Gentlemen...I have witnessed the absolute worst movie EVER. Nukie, Manos, Uwe Boll's filmography...all have their fans. This is hellish, cancerous tumor was meant for an audience of I would say 13-15 year old girls that wish they were 17-18 year old girls. My sister waited all day for it to come one Nick-at-Nite, even she, a 15 year old girl, was at a loss for words.

Ladies and Gentlemen...I have witnessed the absolute worst movie EVER. Nukie, Manos, Uwe Boll's filmography...all have their fans. This is hellish, cancerous tumor was meant for an audience of I would say 13-15 year old girls that wish they were 17-18 year old girls. My sister waited all day for it to come one Nick-at-Nite, even she, a 15 year old girl, was at a loss for words.

BE-F**KING-WARE!!!!

Meant for 13-15 year old girls, you say? Looks like it's aimed at pedophiles!

Logged

"The basic plot is that Donna Speir and Hope Marie Carlton, the two undercover DEA agent Playboy Playmates from the last movie, are still running around in jungle shorts, cowboy boots and spaghetti strap T-shirts, firing their machine guns at drug smugglers, Filipino communist guerrillas, and corrupt federal agents while their two friends, Lisa London and Miss May 1984 Patty Duffek, lounge around the pool a lot and talk on speaker phones that look like fax machines."-Joe Bob on SAVAGE BEACH

Speed 2 has always had a place in my heart since I saw Frank DeCaro's Daily Show review. "Sandra, put down that coke spoon - look what it did to Captain Stubing!" And then the epic slo-mo of Willem Defoe making the creepiest face in history. Awesome.

The movie itself is terrible, but I always smile when I think of it now.

Ladies and Gentlemen...I have witnessed the absolute worst movie EVER. Nukie, Manos, Uwe Boll's filmography...all have their fans. This is hellish, cancerous tumor was meant for an audience of I would say 13-15 year old girls that wish they were 17-18 year old girls. My sister waited all day for it to come one Nick-at-Nite, even she, a 15 year old girl, was at a loss for words.

BE-F**KING-WARE!!!!

Meant for 13-15 year old girls, you say? Looks like it's aimed at pedophiles!

I could see that too, since it tries to like high school nowadays but they had to keep it PG-13 (the word "bimbo" is used, in absence of "ho", I presume)...so there is a lot of 15 legs and skirts barely showing off the butt.

Ladies and Gentlemen...I have witnessed the absolute worst movie EVER. Nukie, Manos, Uwe Boll's filmography...all have their fans. This is hellish, cancerous tumor was meant for an audience of I would say 13-15 year old girls that wish they were 17-18 year old girls. My sister waited all day for it to come one Nick-at-Nite, even she, a 15 year old girl, was at a loss for words.

Ladies and Gentlemen...I have witnessed the absolute worst movie EVER. Nukie, Manos, Uwe Boll's filmography...all have their fans. This is hellish, cancerous tumor was meant for an audience of I would say 13-15 year old girls that wish they were 17-18 year old girls. My sister waited all day for it to come one Nick-at-Nite, even she, a 15 year old girl, was at a loss for words.

Ladies and Gentlemen...I have witnessed the absolute worst movie EVER. Nukie, Manos, Uwe Boll's filmography...all have their fans. This is hellish, cancerous tumor was meant for an audience of I would say 13-15 year old girls that wish they were 17-18 year old girls. My sister waited all day for it to come one Nick-at-Nite, even she, a 15 year old girl, was at a loss for words.

13. Congo (1995) - I have to agree with an earlier poster about this one, another over-hyped/over marketed film that was somewhat exciting up until they actually arrive at the lost city. Then it all goes downhill. (Note to future filmakers the plot device of a lost land being around for untold millennia that ends in cataclysmic destruction within mere hours of the appearance of white explorers is way overused).

But they shoot monkeys in it...with machineguns.How can you not love it?