Who needs the Torah when we have the Times?

Not long ago, a friend asked me to substitute for him at one of those after-public-school "Talmud Torahs."

To break the ice, I threw out a simple question: What is Judaism's primary text? Seven hands immediately shot up. I called on a boy who was waving his hand more enthusiastically than the rest. With smug self-assurance he pronounced: "Why that's simple! It's the newspaper."