The new ABC sitcom "The Neighbors" is dumb and unfunny, placing it even below "Partners" as the worst of the fall season's new shows. BOB D'AMICO, ABC

Channel surfing with the Watcher ...

•When the Watcher declared last week that "Partners" was the worst new show we had seen so far this network season, I honestly did not expect any other series to evict it from the basement.

And then came "The Neighbors."

ABC's sitcom about a family that inadvertently moves into a subdivision filled with extraterrestrials was tragically dumb and unfunny. (Except for the bit about the aliens naming themselves after famous athletes.)

Sadly, the aliens-stranded-on-Earth premise has been done so often that it qualifies as a subgenre. And with the exception of the 1990s hit "3rd Rock from the Sun," they rank among worst series TV has produced: "My Favorite Martian," "Mork & Mindy," "Alf" and now "The Neighbors."

It's time to rid the planet of this concept.

•ABC scored the rare double crown, producing both the worst and best new shows. The pilot for "Last Resort" was phenomenal. For the Watcher, it ranks with the premieres of "Lost," "30 Rock" and "Arrested Development" at the top of the all-time list.

But now what?

The pilot was all setup: A U.S. Navy submarine goes rogue after its crew refuses a mysterious order to launch a nuclear strike against Pakistan. The crew commandeers an island resort and sets about trying to save itself and solve the mystery.

Now comes the inevitable decline, as the writers try to stretch what should have been a six- or eight-hour story to 13 episodes for certain – 23 if they get a "back order" – and still leave the story hanging in case the series gets renewed. (Which, given the ratings for the premiere, probably won't happen.)

"Last Resort" and NBC's "Revolution" would make excellent one-season series. But the broadcast networks don't do business that way, which is a shame.

•While the Watcher is beating up on ABC, let's discuss "666 Park Ave." This modern gothic tale ranks as a big disappointment. It's not creepy enough to be a good horror series and not sensible enough to work as pure drama. Our faint hope that we might get a TV series in the vein of "The Shining" or "Rosemary's Baby" flickered out about 15 minutes into the premiere.

•Meanwhile, on cable, Showtime's "Dexter" and "Homeland" served up terrific premiere episodes. "Dexter," in particular, hasn't been that good since Jon Lithgow made his unfortunate exit. With those two and "Boardwalk Empire," my drama card is filled on Sunday nights.

•I'm back to complaining about "The Amazing Race," a once-great reality series that is teetering on the brink of the shark tank. Season 21 began with two challenges that were simply too simple. Neither had any effect on the order of finish, which makes the tests irrelevant. At least this time it wasn't the cab drivers who decided the outcome, but the producers need to figure out how to make the Race a race again and not "The Amazing Lottery."

•If, as the Watcher does, you worry about the decline of intellectual life in America now that "Jersey Shore" is going away, you can relax. "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" has been renewed for a second season. Now, if only we can get Honey Boo Boo into a tanning booth.

THE WATCHER'S TOP 10

What the Watcher is watching this week.

1. "Sons of Anarchy" (FX, Tuesday) – Back on top

2. "Survivor: Philippines" (CBS, Wednesday) – Poor Matsing

3. "Dexter" (Showtime, Sunday) – Yvonne Strahovski arrives

4. "Homeland" (Showtime, Sunday) – Strong start to season 2

5. "Project Runway" (Lifetime, Thursday) – Two-part finale begins

6. "Modern Family" (ABC Wednesday) – Lily starts kindergarten

7. "Boardwalk Empire" (HBO, Sunday) – Al Capone unleashed

8. "The Amazing Race" (CBS, Sunday) – Disappointing start

9. "The Last Resort" (ABC, Thursday) – Stick with it awhile

10. "Nashville" (ABC, Wednesday) – We'll give it a shot

Contact the writer: Write me at ocrwatcher@gmail.com. To read more, visit pedrowatcher.ocregister.com. Follow the Watcher on Twitter @WatcherofTV and on Facebook (The Watcher).

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