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Sunday, December 1, 2013

Forbidden Fruit

I knew the moment I met him, that I should not be seeing him at all. There was something about him I just had to have. He was intriguing, funny and at times charming, he wanted to be in my presence often..the first couple weeks of entertaining him were great. Movies, Dinner at places that I couldn't afford and nights full of laughs and cuddling, but he was my secret..my huge secret. Not many people were brought into who he really was or how if some knew about our courtship it would be world war III. So I mad sure that our secret never leaked out. He had memorized with all he came with but a part of me knew that at any given moment that he could and would turn on me and it all would be over. I went against everything I stood for the moment I involved myself with him but the forbidden fruit tasted sooo good. He was actually what I could see myself with..on paper he looked great..good job..no kids..fly...funny and money was never a problem but he was the problem. He came with so much..so many instructions so much drama. he made it clear what he needed from me and what he didn't want to do and even with all that I still was on board with him. All these "rules" he set upon me were all broken by him from not speaking to each other every day to him spending the night I watched him break each and everyone of them and me..well I just played the cards he handed me. I caught him a time or two watching me sleep and sneak forehead kisses when he thought I was in a deep sleep. Even with all these charming things going on I was always waiting for the moment this shit would end and he would turn on me. He actually surprised me how fast he switched up on me, we went from laughing one weekend to acting like we didn't know each other existed the following weekend. He called me out the blue one friday afternoon and i couldn't even follow what he was saying to me at the time but when it was over he ended it all..ended it over something so lets say foolish. I had been prewarned about this moment was told it was going to happen and when it does it was going to take you buy surprise because that is what he does. He was in too deep and had to pull out I assume and thats what he did. The hardest part of it all was not being able to share my sad feeling with my friends because our relationship was a secret and if it got out it would ruin my friendship with a friend or two. That forbidden fruit should have never been bitten, should have never been embraced because I gotta get him out of system..out of thoughts...out of my what if's