Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

I saw this guy today. Not particularly miraculous until you consider that he spends 99% of his time in St. Louis or Kansas City or something like that. It's the middle of the country, it's all the same out there.

I've known John since he was a wee lad and he turned out pretty good in spite of that.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Sometimes you have these great ideas. Or at least they seem like great ideas at first. I try to get my students to understand that while those first ideas seem wonderful and creative they should resist the urge to go with their first thoughts and they should give their ideas time to develop and improve. Those who listen eventually realize the truly great ideas come later.

Two weeks ago I had a great idea. Pretty much on a whim I decided I wanted to run a 5k race. I found a local race and pre-registered because this was a great idea.

When you give your ideas time to develop and improve, you realize potential problems and you give your brain the time to creatively solve those problems before anything bursts into flames or before anyone loses a limb. You have the opportunity to bounce your ideas off of other people and often they can provide some helpful feedback.

Like, for example when you tell them you’re going to run a 5k they might tell you that you’re not a runner. Or at least you haven’t been a runner since college and that was a long time ago. Perhaps they’d tell you that normal people actually train for several weeks prior to running a 5k. They might even tell you that it’s December and that it’s going to be very cold when you run. After gaining all this helpful information most people would amend their original idea and sign up for a race in early spring instead.

Yet I was convinced that my idea was great. I did listen to advice from my marathon running friend (who now thinks I’m a crazy person) and I ended up going for a practice run last Wednesday. Big mistake. I thought I was going to die. My legs are still sore from that little excursion and I almost talked myself into being reasonable and putting off the race.

But my idea was still great. So I got up early this morning and tried to convince myself that 28 degrees was not really all that cold for an early morning 5k, even in short sleeves. And somehow I did it. I didn’t have to stop and I kept a pretty good pace and I even finished with a respectable time. I don’t understand why but I might have enjoyed it. It reminded me of running around the Winthrop lake at night when I was in better shape.

Of course I know this was a terrible idea. I just got lucky this time. Or at least I feel lucky while the endorphins are still circulating. Tomorrow will be another thing entirely. I just hope I’ll be able to walk.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

I do not think my creative work has ever been described as angsty or depressing. In high school and college there were always peers who drew inspiration from deep, dark areas of their life experiences. Some of their work was interesting, but mostly it was just depressing. These creative productions were often accompanied with a far too detailed verbal account of how sad their childhoods were or how their parents just didn't understand them. I'm guessing 95% of the people on this planet would not consider the life of the middle class teenager to be a life of suffering.

But I had a great childhood and my parents are awesome. Maybe everything in my life hasn't been all peaches and candy....but I choose to focus on the positive things. My ideas are much more likely to come from silliness and laughing than from suffering. This is why I was not sure I would enjoy Rob Bell's new book.

His book "Drops Like Stars" was advertised as negotiating the connections between suffering and creativity and this made me uneasy. I feared Bell, who has earned my respect with his speaking and his writing, would talk about how all great art comes from those dark places. I planned to disagree with him but I couldn't resist ordering the book anyway. Though Bell is not a visual artist, he has ventured into this creative territory before discussing the connections between spirituality, aesthetics, and creativity. His ideas have been well researched and they always seem to contain a healthy dose of common sense.

The experience of reading this book pulled me in several different directions. I have to refer to this as an experience because this book is about much more than the words on the page. Each page has a visual effect and the entire book is very well designed. But it's also very short. So short that my first honest reaction to finishing the book in 30 minutes was fairly negative. I saw the images, I followed the verbal path, and I felt like someone ended my dinner after only an appetizer. I wanted more. I expected more. But then, like any good minimalist work will do, the book invited me in for a closer inspection. The second time through is when the book really began to inflate itself with meaning and significance. There were things I had missed. There were things in the images I did not see the first time. It was then that it occurred to me that this was more than a written collection of ideas passed from person to person. This was more than a person sharing some interesting images. This was an aesthetic experience that stood a chance at lingering in my head far longer than a plain book would have.

So I intentionally took my time in scrawling down any response to the book in order to give myself the time and space to process it. Then I loaned the book to a friend who made this very intelligent blog post about it.

Bell mentions several ideas in this book that are worthy of exploration. One of the things that made a connection with me was his mention of the musician Warren Zevon who died of cancer a few years ago. Zevon had several rock hits in his career but his life and music changed when he found out he was dying of cancer. Knowing his time was short allowed him to open up his songwriting to a more honest and fearless approach resulting in one final album that was essentially his goodbye note to his family and to his listeners. One of the best songs on this album is "Keep me in your heart" which you can listen to for free here.

Zevon appeared on David Letterman near the end of his life and during the interview Letterman asked about how this cancer death sentence had changed his life. As recorded on page 101 of Bell's book, Letterman asked, "From your perspective, do you know something about life...that maybe I don't know?" Zevon responded, "I know how much you're supposed to enjoy every sandwich." This response indicates Zevon's new focus on every single detail of life. It points to a man who is sucking the marrow out of life, even taking the time to take pleasure in what most of us would consider mundane. I might contend that this heightened sense of awareness of the little things in life led Zevon to create the most beautiful and powerful creative work of his lifetime.

Bell's approach to the connection between suffering and creativity did not focus on the negative. Bell seems more interested in how artists like Zevon turn these negatives into positives.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

That book I was hoping to read is called “The Guinea Pig Diaries” by A.J. Jacobs. If you’ve been reading this thing a while you might remember Jacobs from my comments about his last book.

Jacobs presents himself as a decent, regular guy in his writing. He’s a working husband and father and seems to be constantly trying to find ways to better himself. Some of his attempts at being a better person have led him to his strange experiments wherein he makes himself the guinea pig. This book is largely a collection of those experiments. He spent a month doing everything his wife wanted him to do, he tried to live by George Washington’s code of conduct, and he gave Radical Honesty a try among other things. The thing about his experiments is that the reader gets to experience them through him without going to all the trouble. The reader gets the best parts of the research in a Cliff’s Notes way. (Do they still make Cliff’s Notes?) And since I don’t have a great deal of free time for lab work, I’m happy to let A.J. take care of this for me.

The book is as informational as it is entertaining. And it’s plenty entertaining. I’m not going to tell you I belly-laughed through the whole thing, but there were a couple of moments when I chuckled out loud. Certainly part of the draw for me is that I find myself relating to the guy. He’s a sort of new father, he has a couple of jobs, and he’s constantly trying to figure out ways to create a peaceful, happy personal life. Of course these things guide his choices when determining what things he’ll try next so I’m generally interested in what he learns and if there’s any way I can use some of his findings in my life.

The most interesting chapter/experiment to me is “The Unitasker”. For this project Jacobs attempted to live his life completely without multitasking. He tried to do no more than one thing at a time and tried to truly focus on the project at hand. As with all his experiments he tries to take things to the funniest extreme. This means wearing blinders while talking on the phone to ensure that he keeps his full attention on the conversation. He ties himself to his computer chair in order to meet a book deadline. He requests a dinner in total silence with his wife. When she tells him that this dinner is actually kind of nice, he suggests they kindly keep to the project rules and refrain from talking.

This idea of shunning multitasking is something I’ve circled around for a while now. With several things on my plate at the same time I’m often forced into multitasking and what I’ve learned over the last few years is that I forget things. I forget to do things or I forget to do portions of them until the last minute. This leads to urgent rushing around and generally having to settle for some things turning out less than perfect and the control freak inside me absolutely hates this. Knowing that I tend to underperform when faced with doing 5 things at once prevents me from trying to do anything besides drive my car and listen to my iPod at the same time. I’m still one of the few people who refuse to talk on the phone while driving and if you drive anywhere between my house and Winthrop….you’re welcome for that.

See, the thing is, while we think we’re getting more things done in less time, what is really going on is that we are doing more things at a below average level in less time. And if you believe recent research on the subject, we are also losing our ability to focus on items for longer than a few seconds, we are short circuiting the way our brains normally work, and we are allowing our kids to kill themselves by driving while texting, taking photos, and sending emails. According to Jacobs’ research our attempts at doing several things at once make us more inclined to depression and much worse at developing personal connections. Our attention spans continue to decline to match the time we are accustomed to spending on things. If TV shortened our attention span into commercial sized spaces just imagine how short our attention spans will be after a few more years of instant messaging, Googling our “facts”, and texting our relationships.

*Side note: The state of North Carolina put a new law into effect on December 1, 2009 making it illegal to send text messages while driving based on overwhelming research indicating that dividing your focus impairs your ability to drive.

The really interesting thing is that while we think we’re multitasking, our brains are actually incapable of multitasking. What we are really doing is what Jacobs calls “switchtasking”. Our brains simply toggle between one task and another and each time we switch tasks, we lose milliseconds of time just from the switch. Then you have to sit there like me and try to figure out exactly where your train of thought was heading before the kid jumped out of his chair and landed on the laundry basket launching a popsicle and juice onto the couch. This apparently, is where the forgetting happens.

In the end Jacobs declares himself “calmer” as a direct result of his unitasking. What better argument could be made for putting an end to multitasking? I’m guessing all of us could use a little more calm. But it’s not as easy as just saying you’ll focus on one thing at a time. While Jacobs did manage to reduce the number of things he did at a time, he was not able to maintain any sort of only-one-task-at-a-time lifestyle. There were just too many distractions available to him.

My schedule demands that I set aside certain blocks of time to work on sculpture and drawings and I typically refuse to allow anything infringe on those times. (Well, there was that one time when I needed about one more hour to finish a sculpture and my wife insisted on having a baby right that instant.) When I’m in a production mode it does me no good to try to read a book or become interested in research. I simply am not able to focus on all those things at one time. I’ll forget what I’ve just read and I’ll miss the best solutions to the sculptures. Multitasking just doesn’t mix well with my creative work. When I block off my time and focus on one specific task my brain is better able to absorb each situation

Despite my attempts, I’m not exactly a shining example of unitasking either. While trying to read that particular chapter of Jacobs’ book on vacation I had to calm a crying baby, watch the final moments of a football game, go out on the balcony to watch some passing dolphins and get Blue dressed and ready to leave the hotel to meet some friends. The reality is that it’s very difficult to give your focus to one thing at a time.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Donovan came to town for the holiday. I think he tried to eat our baby.

He brought his new friend Alyssa along for the tour stops. She's cool. We approve.

When we were introduced the first thing she did was comment on my creative work. I was a bit caught off guard. I suppose I'm geared to expect art talk at school or in a gallery setting, but when I'm home such talk is rare. I could almost feel my brain shifting sides. Of course I realize that this could have simply been a ploy to win my respect instantly...and if so....well played Alyssa. Well played.

I've neglected my sketchbook in the madness that has been the last few weeks. I need to start a new drawing but I also have a new book I want to read. I bet the book is going to win and if I can make myself remember, I'll tell you why later.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

There’s been a video going around the interwebs that reminded me of a funny and interesting story. The video is an animated short built around the hilarious storytelling of Doc Ellis, a Major League baseball pitcher who enjoyed the height of his career in the 1970s. In the video Ellis explains how he came to pitch a no-hitter for the Pittsburgh Pirates while high on LSD and amphetamines. Ellis had earned the reputation as a troublemaker in professional baseball with his frequent antics even before this event. Ellis was black and after hearing a derogatory racial shout from the bleachers during a minor league game he made his way into the cheap seats and sat down amongst the fans shouting the same racial comment, stunning everyone into silence. He also says he had a pistol in his pocket at the time and it’s that kind of frightening honesty Ellis was known for. He was deemed a loose cannon by many of his coaches and other MLB officials because he was not afraid to speak his mind and he never feared repercussions of any kind. When MLB officials complained about his hair style he took to the field wearing a head full of curlers.

When he made the all star team in 1971 he announce to the press that his manager would never start him as pitcher b/c the opposing team had just named their starting pitcher who happened to be black. Ellis said there was no way the coaches would let both starting pitchers be black sparking a huge, fiery debate about whether racism still existed in America in the early 1970s. Ellis was no dimwit. He was quickly named the starting pitcher of the All Star Game and this helped solidify his reputation as a squeaky wheel.

My favorite story was after the Pirates were mocked by the Cincinnati Reds after a championship game, Doc Ellis vowed revenge. The next game he pitched against the Reds he told his teammates he was going to hit every single one of them with the ball. His teammates dismissed this as another joke and laughed with him about it. Ellis took the mound and beamed the first 3 batters. He continued trying to hit the next 2 but walked them as they dodged chin high fastballs. Everyone finally believed him and he was yanked from the game. I know this sounds mean, but before all the rules and regulations and sanitizing of baseball, hitting a batter was simply a part of the pitcher’s strategy. Part of what made Ellis so good on the mound was that a batter never really knew when the ball was coming for his head.

But there were other things bothering Doc Ellis. His greatest problem was fear. Fear of failure and fear of success. In baseball he learned the way players were dealing with this fear involved drugs. According to Ellis 90% of professional baseball players were playing on amphetamines at the time. As he grew to need more and more pills to get high enough he also explored other more powerful drugs.

Enough back-story, I think you get the idea. In June 1970 Doc Ellis had an off day in Los Angeles before a double header in San Diego. He took a hit of Acid on his way home and by the time he arrived he was what he called “high as a Georgia pine”. He tripped, did more drugs, slept and hung out with his friends. When he woke up around noon still enjoying his LSD he walked into the kitchen where his friend was reading the paper. She laughed and told Ellis the paper said he was pitching that night in San Diego. Ellis argued and told her he was sure this was his off day. She explained that his off day was yesterday and he had to leave NOW if he was going to make it to the stadium on time.

He says he doesn’t remember much about the trip. There was a plane and a taxi and soon he was sitting in the dugout hoping the game would be called because of misting rain. Ellis downed around 12 amphetamines to try and counter the acid trip and a few minutes later he took the mound trying to make sense out of his hallucinations. The ball in his hands felt like a golf ball one minute and a balloon the next. At one point he dove out of the way of a line drive that turned out to be a lightly tapped ball that didn’t even make it to the mound. Sometimes he saw the catcher and sometimes he didn’t. Much of the game he doesn’t remember at all. Hoping to could hide his condition he didn’t speak for most of the game and he avoided his teammates. He walked 8 batters and struck out 6. Richard Nixon and Jimi Hendrix made appearances near home plate and perhaps most surprising of all Ellis broke the age old superstition and actually talked about having a no-hitter going during the game.

Ellis’ telling of this story is very entertaining. In keeping with his frightening honesty he holds nothing back. Major League Baseball would have loved nothing more than to keep this story quiet. Instead, Ellis tarnished one of the most impressive feats that one can reach in baseball by telling the truth about it and revealing that he was high on drugs during the game. But while the animated video and Ellis’ story are extremely funny to consider, I think it’s important to make sure that the whole story is told.

After retiring from baseball before the 1980 season began Ellis was still completely dependent on drugs and alcohol to get through each day. Then, as he describes it with the same honesty he uses to tell the no-hitter story, Ellis says his son was born and one day while holding his infant son he realized how messed up his life was and that he needed to get well. He entered drug treatment the next day and officially retired from drugs and alcohol. Well, sort of. This is the point in every other story where you’d have to talk about relapses and broken families, but that is not a part of this story. Ellis did return to drugs and alcohol but when he did he was on the other side of the table. His knowledge of the power of drugs and reasons some people depend on them gave him the insight to become an effective drug counselor. Ellis worked as a drug counselor for baseball’s minor leagues and for a prison and helped countless other addicts turn their lives around before it was too late. Suddenly this feels like an After School Special, doesn’t it? It’s odd how the bad behavior is entertaining but when the mess gets cleaned up we don’t care anymore, huh?

Doc Ellis was a really good baseball player when the public was watching. But it’s what Doc Ellis did after his baseball career that made him great. All the self absorbed, money grubbing, ego maniacs with MLB contracts could learn a lot from Ellis’ example.

If you’re still here, and I seriously doubt that you are, you’re probably thinking there’s no way this relates to art. You would be wrong. In fact, there are two things about Doc Ellis’s story that appeal to me in creative terms. First, I love that Ellis’ life was changed dramatically by a single, specific and ordinary life experience. He didn’t have an encounter with a beam of light or a flaming shrub or have a conversation with a donkey (bonus points if you get all 3 references). He just picked up his kid. He had held his son many times before and he’d hold him many times after. This was a common experience for him and yet it was in that moment that something clicked in his head and a moment he’d remember some 20 years later as a transformative moment. I find it very interesting that ordinary objects and experiences can have such an impact on our lives. When these moments occur we often associate particular objects, colors, textures, or sounds with that moment when everything changed. These images become personal symbolism. When Ellis recalled his moment he specifically mentioned holding his son, wearing lots of jewelry and holding his son’s arms - three specific images that communicate his narrative.

The second thing that interests me about this story is the two very different sides presented of the same person. You have Doc Ellis the crazy drug addict who hit Reggie Jackson in the face with a fastball (hilarious) and caused all kinds of trouble in Major League Baseball. Then you have Doc Ellis the nurturing father and reformed drug addict who spent 20 years helping people get sober and stay that way. This is the kind of duality that exists in human beings that I find so compelling. There’s this idea orbiting every person that these completely opposing qualities can be fighting to surface and you never know which one will win out. The most respectable quality may surface in the life of the most abominable human being and then the most highly regarded person in the community may end up smoking crack in a back alley. And because of this uncertain and unpredictable human characteristic we have to withhold our desire to judge anyone too harshly because, lets’ face it, even in your spic and span life a secret trip to Argentina might be just around the corner.

To see the funny video, just go to YouTube and search "Doc Ellis". There are also a couple of good baseball songs you should check out that tell Doc's story. One is by Chuck Brodsky and the more recent one is by Todd Snider.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Photos from 11-12-09 @ GalleryUp and The Loading Dock Gallery. I have to level with you....my photos are terrible. I'm still getting used to just having a cell phone, not to mention remembering it has a camera inside, and remembering to touch the screen where I want it to focus. And I'm not a great photographer anyway so I used the fake Polaroid App to make the most of the fuzzy photos. How's that for an introduction?

Winthrop Senior Photography Thesis Exhibit 2009:

Ashley Walker photos

Ashley Walker. She smiles like this as she tells me how much she hated my classes.