You’ve Got Some Schizzy

Dr. Jerome Marks was fired from Northridge Hospital last month because administrators and other doctors were not pleased with the way he was communicating with patients; he is now counter-suing for wrongful termination.

Apparently, freedom of speech is something that we value, but only conditionally.

Marks is a proctologist who performs rap and hip-hop music when he’s not in the O.R. Last year he began do raps for his patients to help explain their conditions and treatments. Problems arose, however, when one of the patients, 83-year-old Darma Feingold, a major hospital donor, asked a nurse what Dr. Marks meant when he told her, “You’ve got some shizzy in your hizzy.”

The nurse, an ex-lover of Marks’ lover (and his former backup singer), encouraged Feingold to file a formal complaint and reported the incident to hospital officials, after which they decided to terminate Marks’ employment.

“Patients don’t understand medical jargon, but people really get rap,” says Marks. “If I tell you that you have a squamous carcinoma in your rectum, you have no idea what I’m talking about. But if I tell you that there’s a ‘dawizzy in your bazizzy’ then you know what’s up with that.”

Marks has put together a proctology-themed rap album (“It’s My Duty to Heal Your Booty”) and will be touring in support of it while waiting for his case to go to court.