As I was sipping from my high-priced stemware that also happens to feature Star Wars characters, I got to thinking about how lucky I was to grab Eric Hosmer in one league. I patted myself on the back and took a dive onto my water bed. As the posturepedic waves crashed over me, I slept. A few hours later, I woke in a panic. Water was dripping from my forehead. Was there a leak in my bed? No. I was sweating, worried I fell for the hype machine like when I bought 10 Gregg Jefferies rookie cards for the incredibly low price of $9. (On a baseball card side note, I was one of those schmohawks thinking baseball cards are only going to appreciate in value. They are going to be so rare! Ooh, a Mark McGwire 1987 card! Better hold on to that one! Wally Joyner has some pop! Stock up! Randy Velarde is the next Bucky Dent! Put that one in a sleeve! Now you can buy 200 cards for a nickel. Alas…) Is Hosmer going to be great with a side order of splendiferous? Probably, friend, assuming splendiferous is a word. But he’s a rookie. A 2007 Ryan Braun rookie season is crazy rare. Most rookie seasons are pretty just a’ight. Some solid streaks, some funky streaks where it looks like they’re playing in a burlap sack. In ESPN, Hosmer went from 1% to over 90% owned in a week. Since 40% of ESPN leagues are filled with abandoned owners, that tells me 130% of fantasy baseballers (<–my mom’s term) are excited about Hosmer. That’s your chance to sell high, you savvy fantasy owner you. Obviously, in keepers, you hold tight. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:

BUY

Justin Turner – I’d have no interest in him if he didn’t have 2nd base eligibility. How’s that for a hard sell? Or is it a hard Buy? Or maybe it’s a soft Buy…

Elliot Johnson – He sounds like a Vice President candidate from the early 1900s. Elliot Johnson is a firm believer in woman suffrage. Hopefully Nucky backs him. It feels like the middle of the Rays infield is a black hole for upside. Hey, is that Reid Brignac floating past the Russian space station? Way to reach your potential! Johnson has decent speed (~25 speed potential over a full season) and some light power.

Jason Bartlett – Speaking of black holes, it’s the Padres offense! “I’ve been hitting the ball well for the last ten days.” That’s a Bartlett quotation.

Carlos Pena – He’s over the ESPN ownership threshold that I usually look for (50% owned), but, even in ESPN leagues where the majority of the leagues are one owner with ten aliases, Pena should be owned more than he is.

Eric Hinske – This is the type of player I don’t like telling people to pickup outside of deep NL-Only leagues because at any moment he’ll either go back to the bench or start sucking from the suckhole.

Brandon Belt – He should be back any day (week?) now. As we saw on his first trip through the majors, there’s no guarantee on how he’ll perform, but he should be better than he was.

Scott Rolen – You know what Scott Rolen is? Gritty! He’s cut from a different cloth than today’s players. And he seems like a total douche. While he’s healthy, I’d grab him. He’s usually good for a short term add.

Rafael Furcal – He should be back within a week, so that puts his next DL-stint ETA at around three weeks from now. Any the hoo! You should own him while he’s playing (assuming you don’t have one of around 20 middle infielders that are better and/or less injury-prone).

Laynce Nix – He’s hitting around .400 over the least week. Him and his brother, Jayson, tend to get hot for about one week a year. Usually they’re pretty layme. “I’m gonna make you eat that mustache of yours!” That’s their drunk, unemployed brother, Jaymes, prank calling me.

Corey Patterson – Started with Justin Turner Overdrive and now we’re talking about Corey “I could easily go 0-for-35 at any moment” Patterson. This Buy post is a barn burner like the posse searching for John Wilkes Booth.

Eric Thames – Don’t you wanna call him Ericus Thames? Hey, maybe it’s just me! He put up some pretty spectacular numbers in the PCL, but, as we all know, hitting in the PCL is like hitting on the moon with an aluminum bat. Thames still has pop… Jose Bautista, “Call me Dad.” Um, okay, Bautista. If I were in an AL-Only league, I’d grab Thames for a little HBI (Hot Bat Injection), but he’ll probably strike out a ton and I’d hold for now in mixed leagues.

Domonic Brown – He’s going to get called up within the next two weeks. Or my name is not Grey “I’ll Admit To Seeing Brian Setzer In Concert…Once!” Albright.

Matt Guerrier/Kenley Jansen – See this morning’s post, it can be found in less than one mouse click. Good luck!

Fernando Salas – Looks to be locked in as Cards closer, which, obviously, means he could get replaced by Sunday.

Wilton Lopez – Melancon is good to poop on, I wouldn’t even waste my waste on Lyon and Lopez is buried in the bullpen of a team that doesn’t win. It’s not great, but that’s why they call it SAGNOF.

Jamey Wright – SAGNOF!

Jake Arrieta – People are starting to catch on at ESPN that Arrieta should be owned, so be careful because that means he’s due for an explosion like you after a meal at El Torito.

SELL

Josh Johnson – No, don’t trade him for an autographed picture of Phyllis Diller. But, yeah, I don’t like his injury history and he just had a forearm issue. Everyone is saying he’s fine, and I believe them. That still doesn’t mean another injury isn’t right around the corner.

Chipper Jones – Glass Chipper puts his pants on like everyone else. One leg at a time. Only he pulls a hamstring when he does it. I’d drop him in most mixed leagues.

Justin Morneau – Hit his 2nd home run yesterday. As Arnold used to say about his lover, “I love four baggers.” We all do, Arnie. But Morneau still doesn’t look right. He’s too skinny. Is he prepping a model chic look for Milan? He looks malnourished like you should be sending a dollar a month to Minnesota to get him clean water and a bowl of rice. I don’t know if his concussion led him to a diet of raw foods and Master Cleanses but something is up. That’s between me, you and the guy behind you who’s photocopying his hand while he reads over your shoulder. So you parlay this “Morneau is back after his home run!” chatter and see if you can pawn him off for anything to another owner. Now is your time to sell– nay, it’s your duty to act. Go forth, young, socially awkward man and prosper!

@Grey:
I still have a sealed box of 89 Upper Deck. I also treated baseball card collecting in the late 80s/early 90s as a real way to make money. Before the botton fell out of the industry (mass production—thanks Donruss) I actually had a blast trading and selling cards.
BTW–do you want to by a 100 lot of Bob Hamelin, Pat Listach or Jerome Walton rookie cards. LMAO!!

1 : who do you like more for the rest of the year in a 12 tm al only keeper: Danny Duffy or Derek Holland (nice outing last night, but mad inconsistent)

2 : If you were to trade one you like the least (out of holland or duffy), what would you be asking for in return. (I’m trying to get an OF). Is the JD Drew area probably the best I’d be able to get (#3/4 OF)?

I still have thousands of baseball cards from childhood. And all the little tally sheets with their card number, worth (in like 1992) etc. I loved Cecil Fielder, and have pages and pages of Cecil cards… I think I started a binder for only Cecil cards. I should get those out again in memory of my youth.

@RazzNation:
Favorite baseball card collecting memory?
Mine was when my buddy chipped his tooth on the powdery gum stick from an ancient pack of Topps. Followed closely by pulling a Ryne Sandberg (rookie) card out of my first pack of baseball cards, and drawing over his face because I hated the Cubs.

@Dr. Stats: i remember trading three ’88 fleer “changing of the guard” (mike greenwell, ellis burks, todd benzinger) cards for a 1967 mickey mantle. must have been like 12 and grew up outside of boston. as soon as i got home and showed my dad he made me go back and give the card back…do kids even still collect baseball cards??

@BKK: sure. i’ve quietly boosted ethier here and there, and the hitting streak was nice, but so far he doesn’t seem inclined to bring back the power from early last year. if granderson’s really made adjustments against lefties (and you know how much i love to hear about swing adjustments) he ought to be really good.

remember how excited everybody was about granderson last year because he was going to the yankees? he might finally be having that year. just needed a little time to settle into his tiny new york apartment. everybody gets seven free houses in detroit, so he was probably staying up until 3am every night in his storage unit in the bronx trying to decide what to get rid of.

@Smokey: yeah you’re right. i just threw these 2 offers out there to the same guy:

offer 1
I give Duffy, Felix Pie, Jarrod Dyson (minors) : I get hosmer and Rich Thompson (I doubt he does this, but he needs pitching and i know he likes Duffy)

Offer 2
I give Duffy and Casper Wells, i get Mark Trumbo and rich Thompson.

Smokey, what’s your thoughts on Andy Dirks? You think he gets sent back down to the minors once Maggs comes back up? Seems to me they’re playing him more then they’re playing Casper Wells at this point.

what to do with Aaron Hill? Still has yet to hit a homer, and he’s hardly run since coming back from the injury. He’s showed some doubles power lately, looks like he might be trending the slightest bit in the right direction. Am I selling low on him if I move him now, or is this what he’s going to be? If he gets hot would you try to sell high then?

@trick dad: Liriano,Wood, Peavy, Baker, Stauffer. Though i dont think Liriano is fully trust worth his potential to be good has to keep him ahead of the gusy listed.

@xopchipili: By all means if he gets hot sell. He will hit 12 HR’s the rest of the year, with 20 sb’s total. He has 7 RBi’s in 10 games back so there is hope. Add Lind back into the lineup and it helps him even more.

would it be crazy to start Omar Infante over Elvis Andrus today? I’m mainly hoping for a steal from one of them and normally that would mean always starting Elvis but he’s going against Halladay and I’m worried he’s not going to get on base. Infante gets a much easier task in Sonnanstine and he has gotten a few steals here and there. I also have Aybar on the bench as well. Thoughts?

I’m not feeling the offer as I think Beckham will be able to turn things around once he remembers to have patience at the plate eventually.. so I’m not in a hurry to deal him. But do any of the others offer more upside than Beckham can provide in years to come to make it worthwhile?
Take the trade? Counter? or be patient with Beckham?

Because I’m a man of poor constitution and need constant affirmation, I throw this to the Razzball masses — In a 12-team, highly competitive Roto league, I just completed the following trade:

I GAVE:
Berkman
Kuroda
Wandy

I GOT:
Dunn
Ubaldo
Nunez

This was instead of shopping around a Berkman/Liriano combo for a Josh Johnson/Morneau type deal for an ace and struggling bat (since my offense can wait it out). I needed another closer to compete in saves.

In reference to your question this morning, interlock is that thing they put on your car when you get a DUI that you have to blow in to be able to start your car. Basically you have to pass a breathalyzer before you can start your car.

Danks just hit the waiver wire in my 12-team H2H league. In a vacuum, he’s worth grabbing, but I’m not sure I’d give up any of my starters (Lester, Kershaw, Filthy, Morrow, J-Z, Beachy) for him… except Anibal Sanchez, who I’m not at all sold on. So it’s between Anibal, Alex Gordon and Bleh-tran. Who would you lose? I’m thinking Gordon, since I’mma have to lose his not-really-all-that-good ass sooner or later.

While we are admitting to concerts we are ashamed of attending: I once took a girl to see Richard Marx in hopes that would get her in the mood…apparently I was C-B’ed by the opening act: Wilson-Phillips!

Looking at my squad and I’m in second in a 12 team 5×5 league. 11’s in all hitting categories except BA which I don’t chase. Fine in wins, saves and K’s but am around 4 in ERA and WHIP which is keeping me out of the top spot. I could gut my hitting for an ace but I kind of feel some bad closers and some poor managing (sat Chacin and DLR vs. Philly this week) is hurting.

So the question is, does this staff need a serious upgrade in a 12 teamer?

anyway,just curious,does anyone have any confidence that Ubaldo will be anything close to what he was the first 1/2 of last season?….the fact is,he has been average at best the rest of his time in the majors.I own him in a 10 team 8×8 h2h keeper.I love the K’s,but the rest….

if there are any barney owners out there who are glum about his recent slide, i’m watching the sox/cubs game and 2 of his 3 outs tonight have been absolute shots down to third that youkilis made plays on, a hard grounder and a low line drive. both were actually better contact than the double, which was an opposite field dunker that hit just inside the RF line and bounced into the stands. so he’s actually hitting lester and looks pretty good, even though his line tonight isn’t breathtaking.

Am I giving up too much or should i do this? I am giving up Lo-Mo, Tabata, Farnsworth, and A.Hill for M.Holliday and Garland. I would have Kemp, Upton, Holliday, and Torres as my OF… And I would pick up Espionza or continue to play Roberts at 2B

Guh, friggin Ozzie…following, so Santos blows the save (his first earned run of the season), and then Ozzie sends him out there in the 10th to promptly give up 3 more runs in a third of an inning. Why the hell would you send him out in the 10th at all?!?

I’m wondering if anyone has any experience with this? I’m in a ESPN H2H league with a Max IP limit set. If I’m an inning under on innings pitched on a Sunday but still have starts/saves to go for that day any idea if my stats from those innings will count on that day? The same idea as maxing out your innings on the last day of a roto season.

Wilton Lopez or Guerrier (after Matt blew his chance tonight) or cut E Sanchez and get them both?

I love it when I tell someone “There’s only one site that I even consider listening to their advice” on the same day Hinske and Rolen hit their buy list. Although those 2 do go with my theory that old guys hanging on are the only one’s willing to risk blatant steroid use because they are out of the leafue without them. (Konerko, Berkman, Soriano, Vlad just to name enough to make you wonder).

Just dropped Melancon for Moustakas, just to make sure I have him. Will be dropping David Murphy (worthless stand-in, he failed to take advantage of Hamilton being out) for Brandon Belt in about a week, if I can wait that long. Gotta squeeze one more homer and a steal out of him before I dump him.

I can’t believe all these impatient owners on my dynasty league. Loving it.

Having survived the Rapture (not to mention a 6yo birthday party), I feel I should let you know that an exploding post-it note just told me that Morneau has had a couple of cortisone shots in his neck/shoulder this year, the last one about 10 days ago.

@Grey: Mornin’ Grey… quick question…I have Farnsie and Santos and nothing else at closer…like the idea of buying low on Venters, speculating that he will eventually be the closer …. is Cueto for Venters too much? …. would offer Lilly but that is certain to be rejected at this point….second option is to drop Gordon (my only offensive bench player), Lilly, Piniero or Bedard and pick up Capt. Wilton (Parmetter) Lopez. Of course, the third option is to lay low, do nothing and stop watching F-Troop reruns….much obliged.

@Dat Dude: sounds like he,ll play center for them,see if he can hit which will get him ab,s,and yeah he will steal some bases,gets caught stealing a bit more than a typical sb guy,so that will play a part in his running also,early success is the only hope id think

@knighttown: uh, if colon’s still a free agent in your league, i think you should pick him up. who knows if he can stay healthy, but as long as he’s physically capable of throwing the way he has been so far, he’s going to keep on getting good results. this isn’t luck. he’s throwing hard, locating, and his two-seamer has insane screwball movement that lets him backdoor hitters all day and so far they’re not dealing with it.

maybe they adjust eventually, but the chance of colon turning back into something close to what he was seems like it has a lot more upside than picking up some random ratios reliever. you can always do that later.

News/Analysis Headlines Preseason Outlook
Alvarez headed to disabled list? : Pittsburgh 3B Pedro Alvarez missed another game on Saturday with his quadriceps soreness and is now likely destined for the disabled list. The Pirates called up infielder Pedro Ciriaco but have yet to make another roster move. That move could be sending Alvarez to the shelf.
(Updated 05/21/2011)
I

So Frank-Frank took an ugly loss last night. Not sure if he was unavailable for today’s early game (probably so), but Rauch came in for the save opp and gave up a run before getting the hook for Dotel, who got the save. How many guns would have to be held to your head for you to pick up Dotel? Where does he rank among the current crop of bottom-of-the-barrel SAGNOF speculative picks, like Wright, Oliver, etc?

@chata: number 1 pick im thinking,albert is not even hitting doubles,walks are down,k,s are up,hanley be lucky to hit 20 this year ,both of those guys will and should be top players,but im taking bautista number 1

I was just thinking about trying to acquire Stubbs and decided to look at his HR profile on hittracker- it’s crazy: Stubbs has 6 “Just Enoughs,” out of 7 HR. Leads the NL in JEs. So people might want to temper their expectations regarding his power. Last year around this time, I think that McGehee was leading the NL in JEs, and this year 3 of his 4 HR were JEs. Cust kayin.

My once strong OF is scuffling, so I’m starting Ludwick in place of Coghlan, and this is a 16 team H2H PTS league, so Espinosa is a top ten fantasy 2B in my league, and I picked him up. I plan to start him at 2B and move Prado to OF to replace one of my struggling guys there. Sound stradegy? And who do I sit….Alex Gordon or Cameron Maybin?

@Grey @All: at this point do we rank Bernadina over Bourjos? I’ve got Rogearvin “The Shark” (according to Baseball Referance) in 14 team and I’m itching to grab him in big money h2h. OF currently is Bourjos, Gardy, Rasmus, Joyce with Span the 5th/platoon guy. OBP counts and the shark’s got good eyes!

So before we were separated by our respective brahs I found myself belching the following line out at a young Yankee fan who was decided he was going to start shit with me (a fan of the Metropolitans) at tonights game in the Bronx.

“Relax son, I was across the street getting an autograph from Greg Nettles while you were still swimming in your daddy’s balls. Sit the fuck down and enjoy the game.”

While the stadium feels much like Dick Cheney’s idea of a Roman arena, built in Las Vegas, I give props to the draconian security for throwing the douchebag out. It didn’t even come to punches thrown. Boy times have changed…

I guess you guys are right. I missed the draft in this one and my team autodrafted and it’s floundering as expected. Longoria was one of the few bright spots selected which made his DL stint sting more and as I said, I have no OF really. Just looking for a spark but I guess holding him for next year as a keeper would be best.

Romero (@NYY, CWS): scary matchups, but he’s been good lately
Garza (PIT): scratched from his start today, so it’s not a sure thing he’ll even make that start
Bailey (@ PHI)
Ubaldo (STL): curious to see how he does tonight

I might be begging for a WHIPping, but I’m leaning towards Romero for one spot. If Ubaldo looks OK today, I think he gets the second spot. If he gets shelled, I guess I’ll go with Bailey.

I apparently am blessed with the world’s most boring ability to see into the future: I dreamt last night that the Tigers called up Furbush. Seriously. How freaking boring is it that when I dream of fur/bush it’s about fantasy baseball?

@Grey: Yeah Bourjos is fast as hell and he’s got pop plus he plays a great CF, so he should keep his job unless he’s absolutely awful at the dish. I think he’s better long term but Bernadina’s the more advanced hitter right now.

@Grey: H2H, I’ve got 62 innings pitched this week, Tied in W, Up over a run in ERA, up big in K an QS. WHIP is close, with me leading 1.04 to 1.11.

He’s got noone starting today and I’ve got Ubaldo, Liriano, Jackson, Kuroda and Porcello. All I need is a W and I don’t want to blow WHIP. I’m thinking of sitting Ubaldo and Liriano. Kuroda and Jackson play each other, so someone should get a W, right? Porcello’s against the Bucs.

I need to start giving you guys advance notice of when I’m going to dump a player. Dumped Buchholz a couple of weeks ago and now he looks like he’ll win the Cy Young. I dumped Delmon Young a couple of days ago and now he’s is 7 for his last 17 and had his first homer of the season today.

A guy just dropped Hosmer for Jamey Carroll in my league (I know wtf?)

I already have Moreland, Butler, and Ike Davis with 1b eligibility. Does it make sense to try and add Hosmer? Seems like he would have a lot of trade value if he continues to stay hot, but then again there’s only been 1 trade in our league thus far so thats probably a moot point.

Good Evening Grey,
Asked this a few posts ago but you were traveling and my long winded post got mixed up in your answer I think.

Rotoinfo and others are hinting toward Mauer soon joining in on a 9 and under T-Ball game so I think he’s getting closer to returning. Another team in my league has him on the block and they need OF and SP.

Want to offer my 5th Of in LoMo and a Sp for him. These are my Sp from top to bottom. Want to start low but get his interest. At which of my Sp would you say it’s not worth it?

@Grey: well my trade for Heyward sure worked out well… here’s my question: I’ve got him I’m my 8 team h2h keeper. I’ve already got Lind and Stras on the DL. I can plug Morrison into his spot, so I’m not really TOO short handed. But do I drop Stras or Lind to pick up someone like Gordon, Frenchy, Maybin, Gardner, Damon? I honestly can’t imagine picking any of them up for either Stras or Lind.

so , in my 12 team /keep 9 players (my 5th best keeper was soto ..
who i dropped) where i’m looking to improve on last year’s roto score of
20 points …. i offer jair (my #6 keeper) and tomlin for his heyward .

Would you dump either Ike Davis or Moreland in favor of Hosmer or would you look to lose someone else? My only other remotely droppable guys would be Brantley, Kelly Johnson and Dominic Brown (who I just added.) Also, we have 75 move limit and I’m leading the league with 28.

@Grey: the reason I’ve still got him is because we do offseason trades. If nothing else, he’ll hold some value there and I could deal him for draft picks or package him with someone else for a keeper. That being said, do you hang onto him, or drop him? If I’m dropping, who’s the pickup:

“I think everybody has to step up and start getting some runs,” Volquez said. “The last five games, we’ve scored how many runs? Thirteen in five games? (Actually 12). It’s not the way we were playing last year. We’re better than that.”

You’re kidding me, right?

I just dropped him for Collmenter in a 16-team league and that officially rids me of him in every league.