Monday, November 19, 2007

Fixedgeargallery...of freakish folk art.

As a cyclist, perusing the entries on Fixedgeargallery can often be bewildering. However, it is much easier to understand them if you approach them not as bicycles but as rolling pieces of folk art. Fixed-gears have become a mode of personal expression in the tradition of graffiti, tie-dyeing, denim jacket painting, body modification, car and motorcycle customization, and paying companies for the privelege of promoting them by wearing their logos on your clothing. And like so many pieces of folk art, with fixed-gears the original purpose of the object has been disregarded in the quest to make it as expressive and ugly as possible. These recent entries open a window into our culture that should be closed, nailed shut, and boarded up:

This bike reaches a level of customization you don't see too often. Equipment-wise, it's pretty conservative--like most fixed-gears set up for road riding it's missing 100% of its brakes and 60% of its handlebars. It does have a cyclocross tire on the front and a road tire on the back, though, which make it a rolling mullet. But what's really impressive about this bike is the graphics. It looks like H.R. Giger threw up on it.

But there's more to folk art than simply expressing your aesthetic tastes. A true piece of folk art teaches the observer about your worldview. This GT-B is a rolling tribute to the straight-edge lifestyle. If you don't know what straight-edge is, it's for people who like the aggression of punk but still aren't ready to give up their Nikes or their nylon workout pants. As you travel down the road of alternative culture, it forks on the way to self-righteousness: going left leads to veganism, and going right leads to straight-edge. If you still like to watch football, you go right. So while this fixed-gear freestyler may seem like the type of bike you'd see in front of the local dive bar while its owner drinks cheap canned beer, you're actually much more likely to see it locked up outside of GNC while its owner picks up another three pound jar of whey protein powder. And the GT-B is a perfect choice for a straight-edge bike: it's wearing padding and that stiff aluminum frame's ready to beat you up.

We've seen style and we've seen statement. But we haven't seen fabrication--until now. The owner's playful intent in creating what is esentially a Hetchins parody bike does not elude me, nor does the impressive amount of work he's put into making it. At the same time, though, I feel that when a fixed-gear bicycle sports what are essentially fake lugs, some Rubicon of hot, bubbling Velveeta has been forded. Much like the custom motorcycle and auto world, bicycle companies watch what the custom builders are doing, identify trends, and then package those trends. As bad as spinning rims are, spinning hub caps are a thousand times worse. As ugly as custom motorycle paint jobs can be, they're infinitely more tasteful than adhesive graphics kits. Similarly, the existence of this bicycle means that we are one step closer to seeing pre-packaged cosmetic lugs with adhesive backings available from Performance and Nashbar. Let's face it--customizing your bicycle may be American, but putting a fake lug on it is a merkin.

I think I would have died not knowing what a merkin was if it weren't for you referencing one, providing a link, and then me learning about it at work as I check over my shoulder. This might be hard to explain to coworkers. (I'll take the Pete Townsend defense: "I was just doing research.") Thanks BSNYC

You gotta be careful with the straight-edge references, as that term has a lot of history associated with it. Ian McKaye would never ride that bike, but Henry Rollins certainly would. However, Henry liked his beer way too much to be considered straight-edge.

"Hand-done graphics" suggests that someone drew or painted all those pictures on the first bike's frame...but this is decoupage, folks -- well within the realm of 60-year old menopausal scrapbookers! Is that what hipsters want to be associated with? I mean seriously...Carol Duvall (http://www.hgtv.com/hgtv/shows_cds/)?

Clipping pictures out of a book and pasting them onto a frame is something any monkey could do...but I do like bobby's "frankenbike=frankenchrist" logic.

RE: Geiger Bike. It's funny when you see someone you know has a bike on BSNYC. Michael Hosey is a superfast wunderkid from Sonoma Co.,CA and rides semi pro (i think) for Soulcraft. About as far fropm a fixedgear freestyler as you can get. I think his bike is shite though....

I find it funny that people talk shit on vegan straight edge. I guess no one wants to be told they are wrong, if you eat meat/animal anything and see someone who Abstains from doing so, that is like them saying your wrong. and boy do people hate it. fuck Krishna. I think its fucked up for you to take a blog that pokes fun at peoples bikes and then take shots at what people believe. if you dont think a drug free lifestyle is something that's good for anything thats fine, but, I think you should change the name of the bolg to; "Bike Snob NYC - Belief shit talker" I'm so glad that there is someone like you out here on the internets that knows everything. Because we all know that every person that is straight edge is a macho fucker.

Great job (finally) recognizing that many fixies are rolling folk art (nice that you would see beyond your utilitarian framework), followed by an unfortunate piece of fascist claptrap suggesting that this window to our culture should be nailed shut. Those who don't want to look don't have to.

When your wit is lampooning those of us at the extremes, be it fools who imperil pedestrians through their anarchistic riding style, or the pretentious "give me 650B or give me death" crowd, you are at your best. When this same wit is aimed at the creativity expressed in bikes like the three you selected today, it's mostly meanness covered with the merkin of cleverness.

It's true -- there are non-drinking, non-meat-and-dairy-eating fixie riders out there who don't act like haughty members of an ultra-exclusive alterna-country club. But let's face it -- there are a lot of very visible folks who do act like that, and they seem to want to be seen as special and unapproachable, not to change people's minds.

Step one toward rejoining the human race and presenting cycling and vegetarianism as appealing and available to the ordinary person? Get a sense of humor and stop taking yourself way too seriously.

Holy crap! I just realized it's NOT RAINING here in Seattle, and I'm sitting hear at the end of the work day typing on my computer. Evil Bike Snob, release me from your tentacles so I can ride my fixie to my favorite vegan restaurant!

So it's OK to laugh at riders' bikes and not their beliefs? And it's OK to laugh at the brakeless and the 650B crowd and not anybody else? For some, the closer a joke lands to home the less funny it is. But in my opinion the more sacred something is to you the more responsibility you have to be able to laugh at it as you embrace it.

Encasing your own ideals in plexiglas and elevating them above all others can be dangerous. It's like having a bike you never ride, just polish. You don't know what I ride and you don't know what I believe, and there's a reason for that. But if it makes you feel any better then know I couldn't make fun of half this stuff if I wasn't often making fun of myself as well.

I hope you can appreciate that and read and enjoy rather than make the mistake of taking it seriously. Thanks for the comments.

--BSNYC

PS: Sorry to get all serious, but I think you guys deserve an honest reply.

...gotta agree wit ya, on the serious note, snobster...sometimes being a little self-effacing leads to people considering you in a more serious manner cuz they realize you're not so full of yourself...

...& there has always been a thread of that running through your postings...even if it's not always obvious to everyone...

As much as it is fun to make fun of Oregon, I hate hippies too, some 15 years ago my friend in Eugene started manufacturing merkins, restoring a long-lost but noble tradition. Apparently one of her "clients" going through chemo (who recovered) was delighted with her nether region "rug." In addition to being bike friendly, the state deserves credit for being the home of a number of eccentric proponents of DIY. NYC, I am afraid, is too expensive for oddball experimentation. At one time Brooklyn Black Label struck me as part of a similar tradition, but most of those characters are originally from Minneapolis.

Greg - If you respond like that to someone making a mild joke about the straight-edge lifestyle, you're coming across as one of the "macho f'ers" you mentioned. If you're not willing to accept that people are going to disagree with you, then your "movement" isn't worthwhile. Think about it.

And if it still bothers you, maybe you shouldn't read the "internets."

Word to your description of straightedge. I somehow found myself at a straightedge hardcore show a few years ago where the lead singer started talking about the prostitutes he'd seen on his drive to the show and what worthless whores they were.

Wow... Idiots like Greg are the reason I left behind the Straight Edge scene. I had friends in high school and college that drank and we always made fun of each other. In college I got so sick of the youth crew shit and right wing politics of the increasingly violent straight edge scene that I refused to identify myself as such. Most of the folks I have talked to that were part of the original DC scene and maintain the "lifestyle" want nothing to do with being called straight edge anymore. I don't blame them. It was a rebellion against "Rock N Roll Bullshit" as the GIs would say, not against normal folks who can responsibly enjoy a beer or whatever other social lubricant they like...

I dig the first bike (The Giger Vomit) & adore the last (The Psuedo Hoopty). I'd ride either and be a very happy man. Come on, faux lugs are no big deal; they are mere ornaments to present an overall effect. Does your bike have a sticker on it? Do you care about your paint color? If yes, then you care about your bike's appearance. Don't make me give you the M Streep speach from Devil Wears Prada about the utility of fashion.

For once, Bikesnob, you're off, way off. And I suspect you know it, deep down. OK, may be not that deep, but about halfway down, you know it. And no number of tittering comments by sycophants in the above toilet roll should convince you otherwise.

Still, thanks to you, now I know what a merkin is. I assume the well-known critic Daphne is not the eponym.

Hey!!! I just realized my Grandma is Straight Edge! I better tell her, then she can tell everybody else. We'll have to put some x's on her cane. Its important that everyone knows here life style choice.

The lugs on the Hoopchins are not fake. It was a lugged frame to begin with, and the embellishments were brazed on and hand-finished with a file. You all wish you had the skill to pull it off you jealous bitches. It was built for a contest where you had to build the best bike you could, for the least amount of money.

"I had friends in high school and college that drank and we always made fun of each other." oh, and what changed...? you gave in. the cool club moved and so did you.

as for "violent straight edge scene" it looks like you let other people push you around. why let dumbass kids change what you think? Just like fixed wheel bikes. just because people make it into something way the fuck over the top does not mean you also have to be over the top. get real stop following.

social lubricant huh? if you cant have fun with your "friends" with out a "social lubricant" then your life must be pretty dull.

no need to get all puffy, just go drink the problems away. or better yet we can match bowls bra.

Hey BikeSNOB,Keep up the fine "snobbing"...despite your self professed lack of photo ability, you can and should compensate by becoming more of a photo snob. Many of the darkish "craigslist" pictures on your site can be "fixed" at the press of a button (...ok, maybe two). Exhibit A of GT-B fixer:original image

The same people who make your blogging gear (and Google )now have a simple set of terse (&free) editing tools named Picasa with a 3 page tutorial.Like "Google" it has some highly original twist on tracking, viewing & virtual edits (original is untouched in all it's darkish glory) of pictures all making for saving disk space and using up less of your valuable time...what's not to like.

Where in post did I say drink now? I just choose not to identify myself with the straight edge scene. It is nothing more than a label and an excuse for crews to beat up kids for smoking cigarettes at hardcore shows. If that is what you stand for, so be it. I won't judge you any more than I judge the kid that gets trashed and passes out on the floor. Just as long as your not hurting anybody or pushing your beliefs on others and you are willing to accept the same criticism that anybody else takes for living the way they choose. Otherwise I will piss all over you for being an elitist bag wind.

I like the fake lug thing, it would be better if it was on a welded frame though. I've toyed with the idea of doing this to my old cannondale beater for a while. not out with some notion of making it "classy" but more to confuse or irritate.

To set the record straight, my comment using the big bad n-word was entirely a joke with no actual racial overtones whatsoever. I guess it was somewhat irresponsible of me to ignore the fact that such a hot-button can easily overshadow satirical intent. I apologize for my lack of sensitivity, wasn't trying to offend.

That said, I was pointing out how when some people miss a joke and get offended they respond with disproportionate harshness and genuine malice. Unfortunately you did nothing to prove me wrong, with your threatening tone and name-calling. So whether I'm an actual racist or just an asshat making a stupid joke, your anger has brought you down to my level. A pox on both our houses!

hahaha fuck ya the bike matches the x's on my leg and the taste matches my complete lack of judgment. side note, there is no such thing as "was" straight edge you either always are or you never were. get it straight ya freaks before i post the next one in all caps. and whats a bag wind? i always thought it was wind bag but some people get over excited and ahead of typing when themselves ya know? exactly

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About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!