Saturday, April 15, 2017

IRL : Glenstal monk urges church to change attitude on sexual ethic

The Catholic Church’s “stifling teachings on sex” need to be dramatically modernised, a Benedictine monk has said.

Fr Mark Patrick Hederman, the
former abbot of Glenstal in Limerick, said the church also needs to
address its subjugation of women and open a national discussion on sex,
celibacy and ethics.

He said the progressive attitude
shown by the nation in the marriage equality referendum have not been
reflected in all parts of society.

“Now that we have legislated for
gay marriage and accepted the fact that sexuality does happen for
reasons other than procreation; now that we also recognise that some of
the most heinous sexual crimes have been perpetrated within the
‘sanctity’ of marriage; it is surely time to take a more comprehensive
approach to the ethics of sexual behaviour,” he said.

“Every or any sexual activity can
be good or evil, and the act itself right through to the moment of
orgasm is always somewhere on a spectrum between selfish egotism and
altruistic communion.”

Fr Hederman (72), a former
headmaster in Glenstal Abbey, said that for centuries sex in Ireland was
only talked about in the context of “the natural law of God and
confined to religious discourse”.

Reality check

However, he believes the time has
come to have a greater conversation and for the church to have “a
reality check” on its ideals.

In relation to a person’s emotional or sexual life, he said in the past it was as if the church felt such a life did not exist.

“It was presumed that it arrived
fully fledged in the marriage bed, the only location where its practice
was permitted. Even the most basic courses on love-making teach that a
man has to train himself to prevent orgasm occurring prematurely before
it can be shared with his partner.

“This does not come naturally. On
the contrary, the natural orgasm and ejection of sperm for a man is
unencumbered and immediate. That is the biological way, the optimum
performance in terms of procreation and reproduction of the species.

“Lovers have to learn, discipline
themselves, and gain a control which will help them to be sexual in a
way that makes them sensitively reciprocal. Otherwise sexuality is the
tool of selfish individuality and autistic monologue,” he writes.

Rejected lifestyles

Fr Hederman is a prolific author and his latest book, The Opal and the Pearl,
is published this week and calls for a more modernised attitude from
the church on sex. The book takes its title from a letter from James
Joyce to Nora Barnacle in 1909.

In it, he writes that Catholics
who wish to remain “conservative and old-fashioned”, should avoid being
“sectarian and supportive of values and lifestyles which have been
rejected by the majority of 21st-century families.

“Otherwise we are categorised as
out-of-date leftovers from a previous era, such as the Amish communities
in America and Canada.”

Fr Hederman said that while he
believes in celibacy and the condition of Christian chastity, “I don’t
believe that everyone who wants to devote their life to God should be
required to be celibate.”