Do you want a wedding?

Mistic Man's post about his ex's upcoming nuptials, along with learning today that a couple I know just got "engaged," has me thinking about the gay wedding issue. (That, and all the media attention Miss California has garnered.)

I've been with my partner for nearly 15 years; we've worn rings for ten, and we're legally registered domestic partners (which here in Broward Co., FL, basically gives us hospital visitation rights). But I feel no strong compulsion for a formal ceremony. So here's my question:Do you want a gay wedding? And what does that look like to you?

Well this certainly complicates things, Calibro.I was hoping you and I would have a very large ceremony with everyone we've ever met invited and then a huge dance party after. I think we should go to couple's counseling and work this out....

bigtallguy saidWell this certainly complicates things, Calibro.I was hoping you and I would have a very large ceremony with everyone we've ever met invited and then a huge dance party after. I think we should go to couple's counseling and work this out....

Oh stud, if you're the guy walking down the aisle with me, we could do it in McDonalds if that's what you wanted. I'll just shut up, let you do the planning, and smile

Yes. If I meet the right guy who falls in love with me and allows me to love him, then yes. In the same manner, my sister and brother wanted their friends and family to see the love of two become one, I would as well. And a reception to remember.

I think i'd do a city hall wedding with our mums (neither one of our fathers is really in the picture) maybe the sisters, i know my brothers wouldnt want to. But i like the reception idea. drinking and dancing. its what the gays do anyway, right?

Good question. My partner and I will celebrate our 30th in September - and we've been debating and debating whether we should use the occasion to get married - with a party (a wedding, I guess you could call it). We own a house in Massachusetts so it could actually be legal .... but we think we'll just have the party and not get married. We've worn rings for 25 years or so - but being married just doesn't seem important to us. So we'll have a party but we won't call it a wedding party.

I want a BIG flamboyant wedding. I've always been drawn to the idea of one even if I'm masc and my partner may be too. I always pictured my wedding as being a tribute to all things gay and the gay in both of us. If I were having a wedding in the first place, I guess that means I would be in a pretty friendly place and no doubt most of my friends would be big queens, I'm a big queen underneath all the hair and muscle so no, a stepford straight wedding would not do it for me.

I like themes, I'm torn between 80's Prom and Gay Rodeo.

Bein able to go full on 80's throwback with the man I love would justa about make my life. I was young during, but the 80's rocked.

We did it, loved it, got rave reviews, and would do it again (and probably will!)

We live in MA, so we're blessed to have the opportunity. We had the actual ceremony at Cambridge Town Hall, surrounded by best friends. It took about 30 minutes total, and out the door we went!

Then, a few months later (when the weather in MA was nice) we had our full families come for a celebration. It was a quick redo of the vows we exchanged (about 20 minutes) after a 1 hour cocktail reception. We then took over a swank restaurant and had enough stunning food to feed an army. It was like a giant dinner party! Lots of food, lots of drinks, lots of mingling and gossip and fun. No stuffy bullshittery like the hetero industry makes you believe is required. No "couple's first dance" no "parents dance" and no spotlight on single folks... GAWD all that shit is uncomfortable to watch.

It's all about you two, so do what you want! Be mindful of your guests' comfort, have it be fun and easy, and realize that you deserve exactly what you want for the money you want to spend.

As we were planning, "the industry" kept telling us to spend $25K+ and we finally said 'Fuck that!' and had a better, nicer, more-enjoyable event than any other wedding we've been to, for far less.

tereseus1 saidi don't want a wedding or commitment ceremony. ill just need the guy. and it would be quite silly to get married then all of a sudden shit hits the fan.. what would i tell my mother then??

You bring up a great point, T. I think there's much profiteering to be done off of gay divorces. You just wait - we'll be hearing all about them soon enough. And they're going to be u-g-l-y!

No, I can't imagine ever wanting an actual ceremony. It seems like its mostly for the benefit of others. The only way it would be considered is if it was truly important to my partner because it's only supposed to be about us anyway, right