It's nice to see this finally released for other people's viewing
pleasure. Ordinarily, I'd leave it alone, but as I promised Ben
vicious dogs would tear it to bits for him, I have no choice but
to throw it into the pit that I readied for him nearly a month ago.
I stocked it with the nastiest, must brutal canines available to
mankind, and I haven't fed them for nearly a week, just to make
them that much nastier.

I guess I don't have any choice but to tear it to pieces myself,
with a little help from a few good clones. Well, one Good one, and
one Evil one; though after rereading this, I'm no longer sure which
one is which.

In theory, however, Eyewrin is the Evil one, and boy is he evil.
Most of the time. Aerin, however, is Good; well, as Good as any
genes from my particular pool can be. This means that she can sometimes
be less than sane, but we love her anyway.

Fic begins in 5 4 3 2

> &&& [Begin Chapter 1.]

Chapter One: Let's take this space time error
out on the road and see who's boss! Or, Just introduce the character
— or at least a part of it.

EYEWRIN: Who's the Boss will be back in a moment — don't stick
around if your legs ain't broken.

> The Atomic Starlight Knight was having
a rather boring day. There hadn't been an outbreak of really nasty
evil badness for Well, since that Moon Kingdom had that clash
with the Nega-something-or-other. That was fun.

AARON: But over far too quickly. (Shines light in ASK's eyes) Exactly
which side were you on, and where were you the night of
the—

> During the past couple of thousand years,
life had gotten a tad too tame. Sure, there was the occasional moderately
evil villain to secretly fight against, but nothing really serious.
Occasionally, he would, for example, sneak into some highly guarded
military installation, and, well, blow something up.

EYEWRIN: "Should we stop that guy in the shiny armor who's
heading for the ammo dump with a glint in his eye, Sarge?"
" Nah, how much damage could one guy possibly—?"

> He really enjoyed blowing things up.
In fact, he was the embodiment of someone else's good-natured extreme
insanity and deep desire to blow things up combined with the love
of generally wreaking havoc with evil, not to mention the occasional
practical joke.

> So, essentially, as far as he knew and
cared, his job was blowing things up. It was quite a fulfilling
job, as a matter of fact. Blasting evil into its component quarks
was, quite possibly, the most fun thing in the entire world. Unfortunately,
it was rare for something evil enough to pop up that required that
level of obliteration.

EYEWRIN: Yes, they really have to cross that line between everyday
villainy and cartoonish supervillainy before he steps in.

> In the meantime, he would do something
else. Occupying his time was the first and foremost thing he needed
to accomplish. Boredom was a dangerous thing; he might end up losing
his mind. That had happened a few times, but not for decades. So,
he always needed something to occupy his time and to give himself
some sense of purpose.

AARON: Role-playing? Owner-operating a small nation with an iron
fist, or at least a bronze one? Model trains — no, on second
thought, I don't want to even think about what the ASK
would do with model trains.

EYEWRIN: Wait a second Losing his mind? Don't you have to
have something in the first place to lose it?

> But today, there was nothing else to
do. No evil to destroy, no new types of explosives to try out —
not even any material science classes!

EYEWRIN: "Bored, bored, bored. No unnecessary sedation, no
electroshock therapy I mean, not even any elevator music!"

> Why was this day so completely and utterly
boring? It was vacation. The Atomic Starlight Knight hated vacations.
He loved his job, but given the periodic nature of his job, he spent
most of his time on vacation.

AERIN: Yes, he does tend to be so efficient that he puts himself
out of work very quickly. The poor dear real-l-ly needs to learn
how to make one supervillain last until the next one pops up. Maybe
he could just shoot one limb off at a time or something

> Over the past millennia, he had picked
up a great deal of knowledge: about hurling explosive blasts, accelerated
self-healing, aura manipulation, energy duplication, and he could
even control his alternate personalities! What he most liked was
his energy duplication capabilities. He could draw upon the reserves
he kept around and copy something he encountered. It was exceptionally
fun when he nearly got struck by lightning; for a while, he started
doing "Thor" impressions.

AARON: Until he got sued for infringement on intellectual copyright;
the ASK sulked for months after he got the subpoena.

> He really had nothing better to do with
his "life."

EYEWRIN: What, is this the hell that is his life?

> Under normal circumstances, when a spiritual
embodiment of a particular aspect of a personality is no longer
needed for a task, they will re-merge with whomever their personality
had been extracted from. However, that was not an option in this
case. It seems that Queen Serenity, at the fall of the Silver Millennium,
wished with the Imperium Silver Crystal (or was that Ginzuishou?
I can never remember) for her daughter and everyone else to have
a normal life.

AERIN: Where did THIS come from? Did the subject change when I
was getting some sodas?

AARON: I think the subject changed right in this paragraph with
no discernable transition from the last subject. How annoying!!!!

EYEWRIN: Isn't this the sort of thing that we should be giving
him advice on instead of heckling him about it? .Nah, let's
just get on with it.

> Unfortunately, his original persona
had not fit into this new "normal" life. Not even a total
memory erasure could have made it so. And therefore, the magic of
the Silver Crystal caused his original persona to have the non-"normal"
pieces removed, while whatever was left got reincarnated. To top
that off, he hadn't even found his reincarnation yet, so he couldn't
even check in to see how they were doing.

AARON: Hey, did you put that popcorn in the microwave yet?

> "Wait, why haven't I found my reincarnation
yet?" he asked himself.

EYEWRIN: Why do you want popcorn?

> "Could it be because, maybe, you
haven't looked?!" another part of himself answered.

AARON: It's traditional. Popcorn is both a tasty snack
and a weapon of scorn; few stories can withstand the pain of having
cold kernels thrown at it.

> "Hmmm. Perhaps. Maybe ."

AERIN: Isn't there a fanfic we're supposed to be reading?

> "That's it! I'll look!"

EYEWRIN: (waves hand dismissively again) Aw, it's just some expository
dialogue to show that the ASK isn't entirely all there, in more
ways than one. Necessary, but not particularly funny, until he starts
banging his head into a wall to shut up the voices.

> "That's brilliant!
But how?"

AERIN: I see! Well, it's Aaron's turn to get up, so he should be
the one to put the popcorn in the microwave if he wants it so bad.

> "Let's see, my existence constantly
being drained from them, the psychic connection should
lead me right to 'em. Unless, of course, I have one of those Moon
Princess Protection plans installed to go along with it."

AARON: Well, okay. If that line is any sample of what he's trying
to pass off as jokes at this point, I won't be missing much. (Gets
up)

AERIN: Was that a joke? I just don't get it.

> "Not last time I looked. Wait,
let me double check Nope, no protection plans. The princess
part is debatable, though."

EYEWRIN: What kind of debate? Any self-inflicted violence involved?

> "But there is a connection,
right?"

> "Yup!"

EYEWRIN: No! I demand disagreement! I must have chaos, and self-inflicted
violence!

AERIN: You know how little I like to down a personal friend, but
the Atomic Starlight Knight does seem to have lost a bit
of his edge.

> "Okay, now, concentrate on yourself.
Any connections to anything?"

> "I feel the sudden craving
for a bowl of macaroni and cheese!"

> "What the huh?!"

EYEWRIN: Dammit, now I'M hungry! HEY AARON, HURRY IT UP WITH THAT
POPCORN!!

> "Yeah Besides that!
I know I haven't eaten since lunch But that's beside the point!
Try again. Don't call back until you're sure." A part of his
mind took a nap.

EYEWRIN: He engaged in more exposition, tossed in a few unfunny
jokes, and made me hungry, so hand over that popcorn!

> "Great! Now go find them!"
Atomic Starlight Knight's mind concluded. The search was on! He
blasted off at top speed toward the origin of his psychic link

> *WHAM* And slammed directly
into a wall.

EYEWRIN: A-HA! Told you it wouldn't be funny until he slammed into
a wall!

> Peeling himself off, he turned toward
a new destination, still following the link. It was difficult, partially
because this link wasn't an active one, but mostly because there
were too many things to run into

> So, he walked.

> Anticlimactic as it was, walking while
watching where he was going did reduce the frequency of impacts.

AARON: Bah. It'll only make you stronger, ASK.

> All through this, he kept invisible
so people would not be disturbed at a 6'6" guy in shining green
camouflage armor with combat boots crashing into walls left and
right.

AERIN: Since when did the ASK become a public servant, actually
caring about his image in the community at large?

AARON: Maybe he just wants to avoid someone trying to throw him
in an asylum. His drycleaner is threatening to cancel his account
if he brings in his blood-soaked armor even once more

> He didn't bump into things as a general
rule but desperate times call for desperate measures! Several
hours of this brought him to his destination.

> "There she is!" his mind cried
out triumphantly.

> "Alright, how is Hey, back
up. Did I just think what I thought I thought?"

EYEWRIN: Or did you think you thunk what you didn't think? He's
managed to boil down all the major philosophies, all the significant
religions, into a single incoherent sentence. Props!

> When the view clicked in, it consisted
of two girls in school uniforms who were walking to school. Apparently,
vacation was not in effect for junior high students. The girls were
talking about something or other.

AARON: (tosses popcorn) BOO!!! How would he know when vacation
is?! He's an engine of destruction incarnate, not a card-carrying
member of the PTA!!!

> "Yes, I did. My theory is that
after the fall of the Silver Millennium, her leftover psychic residue,
of which there was a lot, made me. Basically, I'm the aspects of
whatever didn't get taken along."

EYEWRIN: You mean he's yesterday's leftovers, having spoiled long
enough to actually develop sentience? I knew it all along. ^_^

EYEWRIN: He's finally starting to show some of his old
edge. Whew! I was afraid that someone had edited it out
entirely.

> "But I want to blow something up
now!"

> "Yeah, give me a chance!"

> "No."

> "But I want to blow something up
now!"

> *WHAM!*BAM!*WHACK!* "Shut
up, shut up! Everyone JUST SHUT UP!" Atomic Starlight Knight
yelled while banging on his head as hard as he could.

EYEWRIN: Now that's comedy.

AARON: Or an unreasonable facsimile thereof.

> On this school day, which I think was
a Tuesday, Molly had found a new friend. She stood about 4'11"
tall, had red hair in a ponytail, and had an impossibly happy, yet
vacuous expression. Molly had just found out that the new girl had
just moved in from some other country.

AARON: Hey, is Molly still from Joisey in this fic?

> "Really, Terra? What country are
ya from?" Molly asked in her New Jersey accent.

AARON: (tosses popcorn) Booo!!!!

EYEWRIN: Propa Joisey would be: "What country are yaz frum?"

> "I'm from Ireland! Tee-hee!"
Terra Incognito said in an accent that wasn't even close to an Irish
one, giggling, blissfully ignorant of her surroundings. She giggled
again for effect.

AERIN: I'm confused. We're in a dubbed Sailor Moon fanfic that's
also a character-insertion fic? Aaron, is this supposed to be a
hilarious send-up of fanfic stereotypes, or an annoying perpetuation
of them?

AARON: The former, Aerin, the former. It never really crosses over
that invisible line

> "Yeah! Everyone here is just soo
nice and cute and funny!" Terra said. She then went on to detail
how she wanted to grow up to be a big movie star in Hollywood and
have people asking for her autograph, have a cute boyfriend and
such. Molly giggled at that. Terra just smiled and swung her head
side to side happily.

AERIN: Oh my, what a nice girl!

> Someone out of view fell loudly on his
face.

AARON: How about somethin' like, 'The sound of a face colliding
with concrete echoed from around a corner as someone unseen fell
down in shock, twitching helplessly'

EYEWRIN: You're giving too much help.

> "I can't wait 'till you meet Serena!"
Molly said.

EYEWRIN: "Oi cain't wait 'till ya meet Serena!"

AARON: Do you have ANY idea how disturbing it is that you can do
that voice?

EYEWRIN: (Pauses for a moment) Yes. Yes, I do.

> The Atomic Starlight Knight got back
up from his impromptu slamming into the ground and watched and listened
to the rest of the conversation in complete and utter disbelief.

AARON: Something about 'peeled his face from the concrete and'
would be better than just 'got back up'. More visual, Ben,
more comedy!!!!

> "This is NORMAL?!" his mind
asked incredulously.

AARON: Yes. Frightening, no?

> "They CUT OUT HER BRAIN!"
he whispered to himself in horror.

AERIN: Well, most modern lobotomies actually leave a great deal
of the brain intact.

> "That's about the size of it. Who
do you think you are?"

> "Apparently the remnants of a once
proud mind."

EYEWRIN: Well, at least he can can Dammit!
There has to be some kind of pun on "pride" or "prideful"
or "once" that I can stick in here, I know it!!!

> "Well, at least she's happy,"
one voice in his mind commented.

AARON: In that dull, washed-out way of the average Muggle.

> "Yeah, but, look at her!
She's how to put this nicely a complete and total zonked-out,
mindless ditz!" another part replied.

EYEWRIN: Why bother putting it nicely? (Tosses popcorn) I once
again mock the new PC Atomic Starlight Knight!!!

> "That wasn't a very nice thing
to say about yourself."

EYEWRIN: If you can't insult yourself, who can you insult?

> "Well Is there anything I
can do about it?"

> "Hmm Maybe, just maybe, I
might be able to do something," he replied thoughtfully.

AERIN: No, there aren't too many ways to fix a full frontal lobotomy.
Sorry, dear, she's stuck the way she is.

> "Excellent. Care to share it with
the rest of the class ?"

> "If I push hard enough on the link,
it may activate, reawakening memories and restoring her personality
to something recognizable."

AERIN: Or it could brain-fry her even worse

> "Good thinking!" his mind
congratulated himself.

> "Okay, if there are no complaints,
I'm going to activate the link and rectify the problem."

> "Wait!" some random personality
called out in his mind.

AARON: Look, Ben, I know we said we wanted more internal
debate. I know we said we wanted more argument but but
(Starts sobbing just a little bit) we demand action! The time for
talk is past! The banditos are running for the hills, and if we
chase them now we can wipe them out so they'll never raid our peaceful
peasant village again!

EYEWRIN: what the hell are you talking about?

AARON: Sorry, slipped into 'bad Mexican movie' mindset.

> "What is it this time?!"

> "She's happy as she is!" that
small part of his psyche reasoned.

> "Wait. I'm her. I'm not happy as
she is. Therefore, she is not happy as she is."

EYEWRIN: And we aren't happy as she is either. Do something!

> " Wah?"

> "I'm not going to be satisfied
having me running around brain-dead. What do I have to think against
that?!"

AERIN: A lobotomy is not brain-death, ASK; it simply removes
most of the subject's higher reasoning capacity and personal motivation.

> "Well, see her?’Brain-dead'
as you say she is, she's happy! Look at it this way: She's me, and
if she's happy, I'm happy, and well, isn't happiness what everyone
wants?"

> "Okay. All right. Fine! Just stop
pouting. That really bugs me. So, I'll watch her for a while, and
if all seems well, I go as I have before, and perhaps concoct some
long, drawn-out plan to eventually get to know myself her
whatever better and find some gradual way to reintegrate myself.
If not, I activate the link. Agreed?"

EYEWRIN: So he agreed

AARON: To do nothing.

EYEWRIN: I never read the original, Aaron. Did this happen in that
version to?

AARON: Well, I seem to remember more self-inflicted pain
and somehow, I remember it being more interesting

AERIN: Stop being so nitpicky, Aaron. This scene wasn't that
bad.

> Almost knocking him off his feet, a
chorus of affirmative replies echoed through the assorted net of
constantly firing neurons, or at least the magical equivalent thereof.

AARON: The slight hint that he's a magical creation here; is it
foreshadowing or something unintentional?

> He slowly regained his balance. "Very
well, then."

> "Jedite, come forth!" Queen
Beryl commanded. A blonde man in a gray general uniform appeared
and bowed before her. "Is everything ready?"

AARON: Jedite? Is that how you spell it?

> Jadeite looked annoyed at having his
name mispronounced so badly. "Er, yes, Queen Beryl. It is ready.
And, just in case someone decides to try and stop the energy draining
process, well, I have made a special surprise," he said before
adding, "It was a good thing I decided to actually look
at my plans before implementing them. I was able to see several
weaknesses in the plan I otherwise would not have."

EYEWRIN: The villain isn't supposed to have sense!! The heroes
are doomed if the villain gets smart!

> "Excellent. Proceed, Jedite,"
Beryl replied.

> Jadeite winced, then nodded and teleported
away.

AARON: Ah, I get it now ..I guess that it's funny, if you
still remember the first season dubs.

> When they got to class, Terra was still
happy as ever. They had arrived about ten minutes early.

> Serena ran in a few seconds after they
took their seats. "OhmygoshI'msorryI'msorryI'mlateMsHaruna!"
she called, hurriedly taking her seat. Everyone was quite surprised
at this. As we all know, Serena is typically a late arrival. (So
why am I telling you this? Just because I felt the need to. Thank
you.)

EYEWRIN: Yes, THANK YOU VERY MUCH for the pointless exposition.
(Pause) Jerk. (Clutches at head) Aagggghhh more flashbacks

AARON: (flashes subtle thumbs up to Ben)

EYEWRIN: I SAW that!!!

> "Wow, Serena! You're early today!"
Molly noted, expressing the obvious, of which Serena was not aware.
Ms. Haruna raised an eyebrow.

EYEWRIN: Ig that would be "Wow, Serenah! Yoi're
oirly today!"

AERIN: Oh dear, that's taking the accent a little too far in the
other direction; making it unreadable doesn't help the poor readers
a bit

> "Are you feeling alright today?"
Ms. Haruna asked.

> "Huh?" Serena said, confused.

AARON: When isn't she confused?

> "You made it with a whole ten minutes
to spare," Melvin said, amazed.

AERIN: Well, almost ten minutes.

> "Wait a second! My clock said for
sure that I was about fifteen minutes late!" Serena said and
paused before realizing something, "Oh, I remember! I set my
clock ahead!"

> "See? I told you it would work,"
Melvin said with great enthusiasm.

AARON: Said, said, said 4 'saids' in a row! Try somethin'
else, like "exclaimed" or "stated" or, uh
well something. It's only a little touch, but little touches
make a story.

EYEWRIN: Is that the best rant you can perform? Sheesh.
I feel ashamed that any of my genetic material once belonged to
you.

> Serena blinked. "Hey, you're right.
It did!" she replied. Before Melvin could start going on his
usual offers to take her on a date or some such thing, Molly interrupted.

AERIN: Aww, poor little glasses geek, just wants a date with the
hot blonde main character doesn't he know that she's
destined for some tall, dark stranger?

EYEWRIN: (whispers) Aaron, when did she get so mean?

AARON: (whispers back) I dunno. Guess even Washuu-chan's finest
cloning technology can't make a clone of me completely
Good

> "Serena, now that you're here,
I'd like to introduce you to Terra," Molly said, indicating
the redhead. "She's come all the way from Ireland to be here!"

EYEWRIN: "Serenah, now that yoi're 'ere, Oi'd like ta intraduce
ya ta Terrah! She's come all the way from Oireland ta be here!"

> "Wow! Cool. Ireland. So when did
you get here?" Serena asked Terra.

AARON: Hmmm Maybe just add, "Cool. Ireland. Uh. So,
when did you get here?"

EYEWRIN: AAGGH!!!! That's even creepier than my Molly
voice! How did you sound so air-headed? Oh, wait, I already know
the answer to that.

> "A few days ago," the redheaded
girl said happily.

> "So, do you know your way around?"
Serena asked.

Terra thought about it.

AARON: And thought so hard about it she forgot the indentation?

> "Well?" Molly asked, waiting
for an answer.

> Terra slumped a little and frowned.
"Not really," she said dejectedly, looking on the verge
of crying for some reason.

EYEWRIN: Talk, talk, talk I guess that we have to introduce
the Annoying Insertion Character to the Regular Cast, but still,
I . COMPLAIN ABOUT IT FOR NO REASON!!! Aheheehee. (Throws popcorn)

> Being invisible does not shield your
vocal output. That's what soundproofing is for. Unfortunately, A.S.K.
had not studied that particular area of academia yet. That went
a long way towards explaining why everyone who was sleeping through
class was suddenly not. Everyone that was not sleeping just looked
around quizzically.

AARON: That could be funny, if structured a bit differently.
Hmm . "Invisibility has many benefits to anyone obsessed
with moving silently, be they ninja, tomb raiders, Atomic Starlight
Knights, or ancient withered perverts, but one of those benefits
is not silence. That's why one of the basics of training
in invisibility is to stay quiet.

"However, insanity beats training just like rock beats scissors."
and then continue on with whatever. Well, it's probably not
that funny, but it's a little better than your Plain Jane
attempt. :p

> "Alright, who did that?!"
Ms. Haruna asked, annoyed, and turned toward the class. There were
no responses. "Let's continue, then." She went on to discuss
the next lesson.

AARON: And another scene, over so quickly? Could this be some pleasant
dream??

> Serena and Molly were finished with
school and were showing Terra around. After having confirmed that
they didn't need to be home anytime soon, they showed her the arcade,
the mall, a couple other places, and finally Molly's mom's jewelry
store.

AERIN: All the vital places that every teenage
girl should know? (Spits scornfully) You mock my sex, Ben, and I
will have your guts for garters if you keep it up.

AARON: (aside) Sorry, folks, she's usually not this cruel;
reviewing a fic must bring out the worst in her.

> During these activities, Terra had kept
mostly quiet, but when she spoke, it was stating the blatantly obvious
in such a way as to sound extremely deep, and that was the only
thing that kept A.S.K. from activating the link along the way.

EYEWRIN: What, you mean, like, uh . Sorry, Ben, that sentence
totally does not give me any sort of clue as to the sort
of things that she said which would stop the ASK from doing what
must be done. Maybe it's just my imagination faltering. Maybe not.

> "Oh, it must be a popular place,"
Terra said vacuously, noting the many people clustered inside.

AARON: Wow. I am, like, totally dead to any advice given
about this scene, except describe something!!! The
crowds, pushing everyone from side to side, maybe the smell of fear
and hunger as the women move like a pack of feeding piranha over
the counters. I remember this scene moderately well, and it did
have some crowding before Molly found her mom, no?

> A.S.K. was still following Terra as
she went into the store. He instantly perked up at something he
sensed.

EYEWRIN: Pie?

> "Hello, is that EVIL I smell?"
he thought as the prospect of blowing

EYEWRIN: Evil pie?

> something up would soon become an option.
He shook the feeling off as his jaw dropped when he saw Terra purchase
a diamond.

AERIN: Whatever do you mean? (Sarcastically) Diamonds are a girl's
best friend, right? Grrr You're walking awfully close to a
line you don't want to cross with me, Ben.

> "Maybe she comes from a rich family
or something."

> "I really doubt that."

AARON: I don't. Insertion characters always have lotsa
money. Well, either that or they kick the main character's arse
in martial arts. ^_~ Don't take my Insertion insults too close to
heart, Ben, I don't mind her at all.

> "I can't stand it anymore! I'm
activating the link!"

> "No, wai—" The thought
was cut off as the link was finally established. It was disappointing,
really. Instead of a full-on memory restoration, what he got was
a few links to some various portions of her mind.

AERIN: See? I told you that her lobotomy would affect
it! Now, how are you going to squeeze that lump of brain back in
her nose..?

> "Aww, now look what'cha gone and
did. It's not even a perfect link!"

> "Better than nothing, I suppose.
Perhaps we can boost her intelligence a tad. Maybe add a little
emotional strength, too."

EYEWRIN: w00t! Some intelligence in this fic for once! Hold
on, intelligence? From the Atomic Starlight Knight? It doesn't
seem possible!!!

> "Can she handle it?"

> "Uh, hey, what are you planning?"
a still small voice that A.S.K. never listened to anymore asked.

AARON: So why did it say anything at all?

> "I don't know, but I'm about to
find out."

> "What's that supposed to mean?"
The small persona asked, then gasped. > "You can't be serious
WHAT ABOUT A NORMAL LIFE?! YOU'LL RUIN HER HAPPINESS!"

> Pointedly pulling down his right lower
eyelid, blowing a long, loud raspberry at that voice, and shouting
"BII-DAH!!!" at the top of his lungs, the tall, green-armored
knight set the link to MEGA-ULTRA SUPER-PULSE MIGRAINE-SHOCKWAVE
for fastest results.

AERIN: Well, if she wasn't actually lobotomized before, I bet this
does the job! And if she doesn't have a personality after this,
Ben, you'd better be looking over your shoulders for the rest of
your short, miserable lifespan.

> "Thank you, Mrs.—" Terra
broke off, just as someone shouted something very loud behind her.
Before she could pick up the diamond she had acquired, she got a
major jolt to the brain as her I.Q. suddenly shot up against its
will. "ACK! MIGRAINE! Migraine! Bad migraine! Ow!
Ow! Ow!" She went down to her knees, holding her head and wincing.

> "Are you okay, Terra?" Serena
asked, rather worried at her new friend's behavior.

EYEWRIN: "Well, I'm on the ground, clutching my head and screaming.
What do you think, Ms. Blonde Genius of the Year?"

> Terra looked up at the pigtailed blonde
and smiled pleasantly. "Oh, perfectly alright, except for the
fact that my—" Her smile turned into an intense grimace
as another mental shockwave hit her. "Brain feels
like it's about to explode!" She paused as there was
a momentary break in the pain. "But, I really think that I
need to get home." She slowly stood up and brushed the dust
from the floor off her skirt.

> "Can you make it home by yourself?"
Molly asked.

EYEWRIN: "Could ya make it home by yoirself?"

> "Well, maybe," Terra said
thoughtfully, and then held her head in agony as the shocks resumed.
"AAH! I don't think so!"

> "I'll take you home!" Serena
said quickly.

AARON: Contrived plot device to get the real main character out
of the way so the ASK can do his thing? Naaaahhhh .

> "Thanks," Terra said with
a smile. Serena took the wincing girl by the arm and led her out
the door.

> "Wait! You forgot your—"
the shop owner urgently began to say before Molly interrupted her.

> "So, mom, what's with the sale?"
the young girl asked, casually glancing around at the few new people
behind the counter, "And who's the hired help? And why are
there so many of them?"

EYEWRIN: "An' what's with tha tentacles outta yoir back, Ma?"

> A.S.K. was feeling a tad better. He

was improving his own intelligence. Now if
he could only get himself herself themselves
to go and blow something up. Perhaps if they had similar interests,
he might be able to rejoin.

AARON: Tea ceremony, macramé, high explosives having similar
interests is the secret to any successful relationship.

> Now, after a great deal of inner conquest,
he had devised a plan for doing this: Training — lots and lots
of heavy-duty martial arts madness. If he somehow managed to get
her to go into that, and enjoy it to the right degree, then he would
be even less necessary than now, and would have a much greater chance
at being able to reintegrate.

EYEWRIN: What? Now he's displaying foresight and planning ahead?
What kind of insane bloodthirsty superhero has the ASK become, I
ask?

> But, in order to survive this rigorous
training, Terra would need a little more — or a LOT more —
in the way of basic offensive and defensive capabilities. There
was a way for relatively fast, easy, and reliable results, and for
this purpose, he had awakened an old friend, a true specialist in
this area, from a small sleeping capsule.

AARON: Could it be..?

> Come to think of it, two others appeared
to have been opened recently: One within the past few years, and
another within the past few days. But that's a discussion for a
later date. First, he'd have to adapt Terra to combat.

> "That evil I detected back at the
shop would do very nicely for this purpose."

> "Roight," the creature said
in an odd accent before fluttering off, humming an innocent tune.

AARON: Yay! 'Ere 'e is! Rioghtchooare!

EYEWRIN: Who was that, Aaron?

AARON: Oh, nobody in particular (Hums innocent tune)

> Terra thanked Serena and said goodbye
once she got home. She went directly to her room, jumping directly
on her bed and wrapping her pillow around her face, completely forgetting
about Tylenol and all other pain-relief medicines which is
really too bad, because it actually would have helped her a great
deal in this instance.

AERIN: Aspirin really IS magical, if it can help overcome the effects
of a forced lobotomy reversal.

> "Mufflt UI WeuF of mffduff!!"
she screamed into the pillow.

> And then, suddenly, as if by magic,
the throbbing stopped. Terra stopped, put down her pillow, blinked,
smiled, took a deep breath, and then relaxed onto her bed.

EYEWRIN: Shouldn't that be the point at which she becomes most
suspicious, if her intelligence is really increased?

> Her first impulse was to try to take
a nap to recover from the experience, but dutifully remembering
her homework, she sat up and pulled it out.

EYEWRIN: And Ben expects us to believe that the vapid Terra enjoyed
doing homework?

AERIN: Actually, Eyewrin, that kind of character often
is very dutiful about doing anything school-related.

> She had the entire eight hours worth
done in one. It wasn't due until next Friday, and it was a Tuesday,
but she just felt the need to finish something.

> "Aaah! That's better." She
was just getting relaxed again when a small seal, about eleven inches
in length, fluttered inside, using its tail in much the same way
as a hummingbird uses its wings. The color scheme on the seal had
green dominating on its back It kind of looked like camouflage,
but only if you were in a snowy, lush, green area. It had soft white
fur where it wasn't green. It also had a golden crescent mark on
its forehead.

AARON: 'Ello, 'ow are you, mate?"

> "'Ello. 'Ow are you?" the
creature asked in a strange European-Irish-Scottish-English sort
of accent.

EYEWRIN: Suspension of disbelief fading losing interest
in story

AARON: Fer cryin' out loud, three new characters get inserted into
a Sailor Moon fic and you're losing interest? You've done
worse personally!

> Terra blinked, then shrugged and responded.
"Oh, just foin, just foin now," she said, doing a perfect
imitation of the creature's accent.

> The green and white creature looked
impressed. "Not bad."

EYEWRIN: He may be impressed; however, I am not. I can sound like
a bad mélange of every British Islands stereotype too, and with
half the calories of a regular uh whatever that seal
thingy is. Dammit. That joke would have been funny, if
I knew what to call that flying abomination!

> "Um, thanks."

> "So, ya doin' foin, roight?"

> Terra thought about it. "Well,
I just got over a really nasty headache, but I'm fine now
Except for the fact that now, I seem to be hallucinating,"
she said sweetly. While her intelligence and emotional strength
had been improved, she was still as happy as ever.

AARON: Uh. I think a better line might be, "but I'm fine now,
aside from the hallucination that just asked me how I'm doing."
.Never mind, that line sucked too.

AERIN: Don't be so hard on yourself, Aaron. You're just trying
to make a line that could be funny actually funny.

> "Oh, a mushroom farma' too, eh?"
the seal asked.

AARON: "Oh, a mushroom farma' too, eh? P'raps ya added a bit
too much salt ta yer batch of Rollin' Rockhead Mushrooms, ya think?"
I love the ArbyFish, Ben, and you should never miss a chance to
refer to the One's unique 'shroom batches.

EYEWRIN: A-HA! It's called an ArbyFish! .What's an
ArbyFish?

AARON: Yes.

EYEWRIN: That doesn't answer my question! Are you being deliberately
annoying, or are you really not able to describe what one is?

AARON: Yes.

EYEWRIN: Rrrggh! > _<

> Terra raised an eyebrow. "No, I
was actually referring to you."

> "I'm not an 'allucination!"
the odd thing said indignantly.

AERIN: "the odd thing said" I really don't think
the ellipses work right there, dear.

> "What are you, then?"

> "I'm an ArbyFish!" it said,
fluttering in the air for effect.

EYEWRIN: That did not answer either her question or mine.
I need facts! Documentation! An extended study in their natural
habitat!

> Terra frowned, processed this information,
then returned to her usual happy self. "An ArbyFish? How nice!
What brings you here?"

EYEWRIN: (sourly) Well, it's nice to know that someone
doesn't care about what the hell an ArbyFish is.

> What a nice little ArbyFish, or whatever
it is, Terra thought, continuing to smile. "Of course I'll
help you!"

> Arby smiled back at her. "Roight.
Now, use this." He made a series of flying barrel rolls, after
which a pendant of some sort dropped into Terra's hands.

AERIN: (covers her face with both hands) Oh, spirits above, Ben,
you did not just do that. You'd better not have
done that, for your own sake.

> Not knowing what else to do, she wore
it. "What would you like me to do now?" the redhead asked,
again very nicely.

AERIN: Shoot yourself in the head before submitting to the indignity
that is Magical Girlhood?

AARON: Why are you so opposed to that sort of thing, anyway?

> "Hmm?" Arby asked, looking
up from his examination of the pattern of the quilt on Terra's bed.

AERIN: (scowling) Because magical girlhood is a very sad statement
about power. Power of any sort, magical or not, doesn't just land
in your lap in the form of a pendant or wand or cute mascot animal;
you have to reach out and find it! Anything else is just lying flat
on your back, passively waiting and waiting for something that will
never, ever happen unless you make it happen.

> "Was there something you needed
me to do?"

AARON: And destiny? What about that, eh?

AERIN: Tripe. Make your own destiny, and try to enjoy your fate;
marry a tuxedo-wearing bucket-headed moron unless you want
to, not because some half-dinar psychic tells you that you're going
to marry him anyway.

> The small, green-patterned seal blinked.
"Loike wot?"

EYEWRIN: Er, as much as I haven't enjoyed your little
debate on the validity of a massively popular genre, there is a
story here we should be paying attention to. I suppose this scene
is important, or else Ben wouldn't have introduced yet another
new character.

> Terra giggled at the creature. "Well,
you did mention something about evil and mushrooms."

AARON: Good point, Eyewrin .Wait a second, I'd think that
evil would be great for some of our friend's more
specialized mushroom brand names. The Kaos Kharma Khreamer, the
Blooddrinking Morrocan, the Ayanami Robot Fabreeze Dino-Ninja —
all of them scream out for evil influence.

> The ArbyFish smiled at that last part.
"Ooooh. That. Wot I think ya need ta do is Well,
I think ya need ta I dunno." He shrugged. "Oh, just
say, 'Earth Power!' n' follow me."

AERIN: Ag. This had better be good, Ben. And no nudity!

> "Okay," Terra replied, picking
up a pencil and writing a quick note to her parents.

EYEWRIN: "Off to save the world, hallucinating that a flying
seal is my magical mascot animal, my homework is already done for
the night so don't worry about it — Love, Terra"

> "Come along, then," Arby pressed.

> "Earth Power," Terra whispered
sweetly.

> And the transformation sequence began,
just as Terra's mother walked in.

AARON: D'oh! That's the end of poor Terra's mother. Nobody must
know the secret identity of the newborn Sailor Sailor
what kind of Sailor Sen— er, Scout would she be with a call
sign like 'Earth Power'?

AERIN: Aaah! Not my old friend forced to do a cameo in a third-rate
insertion fic! How low will Ben sink!!!

AARON: Now, now, now don't be so hard on Ben. It isn't so
bad! Cameos are a fanfic bread-and-butter! And besides, you shouldn't
underrate this fic. It's close to second-rate. (After a long pause)
Kind of close, anyway

> The sequence continued. Sunlight gathered
around Terra. A white leotard with pink bows remained as the sunlight
finished. A swirl of autumn leaves came, forming the white, pink-rimmed
gloves and pink boots, then more leaves appeared, forming a pink
miniskirt. More pink bows formed on the back. A glowing circle flashed
on Terra's forehead, sprouting a golden tiara with a heart-shaped
pink jewel in the center. Finally, she gave a smile, and the transformation
sequence was complete.

AERIN: (grudgingly) Okay, no nudity tastelessly described by the
perverted imagination of a twisted author I'll let you slide
on it this time.

> Waving to her mom, Terra left, following
Arby.

> "See you later!" the sailor-suited
girl called back happily.

> Kasumi almost frowned and picked up
the note, which read,

> "Mom, gone off to fight evil.
Be back in a little while. —Terra

> P.S. Don't worry, okay?"

EYEWRIN: (snaps fingers) Damn! I was so close!

> "Oh. Oh my!" Kasumi said in
surprise. She looked out the window, watching her daughter rush
off, and paused to consider the implications of what had just occurred.
Then, after a few moments, she merely shrugged and smiled. "Well,
as long as her homework is finished, I guess it'll be all right."

EYEWRIN: (laughs hysterically) No way!!!!

AARON: (reaches out and pauses the story, laughing almost as hard
as his Evil Clone while he turns to the audience) We're writing
this on the fly, ladies and gentlemen, as we read this; Eyewrin's
comment above bears only a coincidental resemblance to exactly what
the author wrote. That's just (Wipes a tear away) too much
(Turns the fic back on)

> She went back to her work, humming a
cheery tune. "I hope that fuku is warm enough for her. It gets
a bit chilly at night."

AERIN: Any well-dressed Magical Girl should always remember that
tights are not only warmer than bare skin, but also go with almost
any seifuku design. Over ninety Magical Girls a year would avoid
colds if they'd just remember this basic fashion tip.

> At the same time, Serena was receiving
visitation by a certain black cat.

AARON: Certain black cat? That covers a lot of ground, despite
what Ben implies. (Rubs chin) Who could it be?

EYEWRIN: Jiji, maybe? No, wait, this isn't high-class enough to
have a Ghibli character cameo.

AERIN: What about Kuroneko-sama? He's black.

AARON: Nah, my money's on Ura the Armor Cat. Come on,
he's the coolest pet ever! Finally, a use for felines! Living armor

EYEWRIN: But he's not black, Aaron. Idiot.

AARON: Maybe he just fell in some black hair dye. (Defensively)
Hey, it could happen!

> "Wow! Is this for me?" Serena
asked, indicating the pendant.

AARON: Aren't you going to complain more about mahou shoujo stuff,
Aerin?

AERIN: No. Serena is the sort of girl who deserves to
be a Magical Girl.

> "Yes," Luna replied.

EYEWRIN: Ah! Luna! I never would have guessed! Well, he didn't
say anything about a brand from the El Rancho Crescent Moon on her
forehead, so it was kinda easy to make that mistake

> Serena wasted no time in putting it
on the bow of her school uniform. > "It's so pretty!"

> "It's not just a piece of jewelry,"
Luna noted.

AERIN: Shouldn't she be talking with a slightly snobbish
Brit accent, if this is the English dub?

EYEWRIN: Yeah, but how do you transliterate something like that?
Gutter London, Welsh, Scots all those are easy to write down,
but upper-class? It's defined by the fact that it pronounces the
words correctly in the first place!

> "What is it?" the blonde girl
asked.

> "It is something that will enable
you to become Sailor Moon!"

> "What's Sailor Moon?" Serena
asked quizzically.

AARON: Should be, "What's a Sailor Moon? And can you eat it?
I'm huuuuungry "

EYEWRIN: (shudder) And you say my Molly accent is disturbing when
you can do that???

> Luna sighed. "Just say, 'Moon Prism
Power.'"

AARON: "Moon Shazbut Nower?"

AERIN: "No, Moon Prism Power!"

AARON: "Right! Uh Noon Grizm Glower!"

AERIN: "Moon Prism Power, you utter blithering defective waste
of human genetic byproducts! Fine, dear, that is it. I'll
find someone who actually has the brains of a dead mackerel to be
the Sailor Sensh— er, Sailor Scout of the Moon."

EYEWRIN: Wasn't she supposed to say, 'activate'? I'm sure that
was the line in the dub

> What will henceforth and forever be
known as a Standard Sailor Moon Transformation Sequence occurred.
Sailor Moon looked at herself in a mirror. "Whoa! What's going
on here?!"

EYEWRIN: Don't you watch anime? Come on, girlie, you must've seen
this hackneyed plot play out a dozen times through a childhood of
intelligence-destroying cartoons.

> "You are now the Sailor Scout of
the Moon."

> "Huh?"

> Luna gave a summary of what she was
supposed to do: fight evil, find the other Sailor Scouts, find and
protect the Moon Princess, etc. A few seconds after that was finished,
the jewel in Sailor Moon's right "meatball" flashed.

AERIN: Why are they called meatballs, anyway? Meatballs aren't
round! I always thought they looked kind of like little pork buns,
myself.

AARON: No way, they definitely look like she painted a couple of
those superball things yellow and stuck them to the side of her
head. You know, the ones that bounce off of anything?

EYEWRIN: That hairdo always resembled some sort of elaborate cooling
system to me; who knows how stupid she'd be if her brain overheated?

> "Help me!" an ethereal voice
called.

EYEWRIN: "'Elp me, Obi-Won, yer my only hope!"

> "Hey," Sailor Moon said, "that
sounds like Molly."

> Luna gasped. "Your friend is in
danger!" she exclaimed. "We have to leave and help her.
Now!"

> "Uh, right!"

> They left immediately for the jewelry
store.

> Jadeite held the glowing ball of accumulating
energy

AARON: The crystal was shedding its light silently

EYEWRIN: D'wah?

AARON: Oh, never mind.

> Meanwhile, Molly was feeling extremely
uneasy. Everyone who had bought a diamond from the sale had collapsed.

EYEWRIN: What fascinating and visual description, Ben. (Yawwwn)
Look, I know that everyone who reads this has already seen Sailor
Moon, and probably knows what's gonna happen from here, but adding
a bit of scene description would not be amiss.

> "Mom, what's going on?!" Molly
asked. She was shocked when what once appeared to be her mother
slowly changed into Morga, one of Jadeite's lackeys.

AARON: Booo! (Throws popcorn vigorously) How does anyone know what
she is! Heck, I didn't even know her name! This scene reeks of narrative
laziness, Ben! Describe SOMETHING, for Serenity's sake! Even if
it's just Molly's shoelace!

> "It's all very simple. I'm an evil
vampire from the Negaverse. I drain energy. I drained the energy
of those you see around you. And YOU'RE NEXT, LITTLE GIRL!"
Morga said, taking glee in Molly's horror, diving at her.

> Molly dove out of the way. "Help!"
she called out to the 'hired help,' who merely stood there and smiled.
She tried to back off, but was caught by the youma, who began draining
her.

EYEWRIN: Ah, Ben, you used the word 'dive' two paragraphs in a
row. 'tis a basic mistake, but come on! You know better
than to be lazy like that! (Fires a handful of popcorn)

AARON: Argh. This scene is where the "Deep Hurting" starts,
I suppose. Had to be somewhere .

> Then Sailor Earth stepped in.

AARON: And it ain't gonna end any time soon.

> "What am I supposed to do?"
Sailor Earth whispered to Arby, who was sitting on her shoulder.

AERIN: Pose in a silly fashion, point at them, then explain their
crimes against "X" species to them, if you're into the
traditional style of things. If you're more into personal safety
and ease of combat, then go for the 'blasting from the shadows before
they know you're there' technique. Less noble, more effective.

> "Hmm Make a speech and stop
'em from drainin'," the seal replied indifferently as he concentrated
on balancing a mushroom on his left fin. "Ya know tell
'em why ya gonna blast 'em. Stuff loike that."

AARON: "Hmmm well, as far as I remembers, ya gots ta
make a speech, point a bit, then blast 'em. They gots ta know why
yer blastin' 'em, othawise it just tisn't fair, roight?"

> "Well, alright," Earth whispered
back, took a deep breath, and then said in a commanding voice, "I
am Sailor Earth, and you have taken the life energy of many people.
Diamonds are for use in jewelry and drills, not for draining! On
the behalf of the people of Earth, you must be stopped!" She
instantly felt a twinge of guilt for being so pushy.

AERIN: A twinge of guilt for using cheesy dialogue would've been
a better waste of precious paragraph space.

AARON: Well, it wasn't that bad. Sheesh.

> Morga stared, absently releasing Molly,
who scrambled away.

> "Ins-pa-rational!" Arby said
with great enthusiasm.

EYEWRIN: And what he's really thinking is, "I gots ta write
that gal some dialogue afore she embarrasses herself loike that
again "

> Sailor Moon entered right then. "And,
I am Sailor Moon! Champion of justice. I right wrongs and triumph
over evil, and that means you!"

> Luna sighed at the speech, then perked
up at the sight of another Sailor Senshi. (Mention a reference to
Senshi vs. Scouts) "Who is she?" she asked under her breath.

AARON: A-HA! He left a note to himself! You think that in the final
version, Ben will fix this?

EYEWRIN: Ten bucks he doesn't.

AARON: You're on!

AERIN: (hums a little tune)

> "Get them!" Morga called out
to her henchmen, previously the several 'hired helpers,' who morphed
into various creature/human monstrosities.

EYEWRIN: (monotone) Oh no. The scary monsters have shown their
true forms. I am terrified for the helpless Sailor Sensh— Scouts.
They will surely (yawns again) perish. (Suddenly throws a huge handful
of popcorn, which bounces off the computer screen) Describe
something!!!!!

> The drained customers stood up, going
after Sailor Earth, followed by one of Morga's henchmen, chasing
Sailor Earth out the door.

> Everyone who remained began attacking
Sailor Moon.

AERIN: Yeah! Go for the stupid blonde!

> "WAAAAAAHHHH!" Sailor Moon
cried as she dodged a volley of varied energy blasts, thorns, and
other painful attacks.

AERIN: Kill her, kill her, kill her if you just execute her
right now, you can save a whole series worth of trouble
for your Evil Overlord.

> "Sailor Moon! Take your tiara and
throw it at them while saying, 'Moon Tiara Magic!'" Luna cried
out. Sailor Moon was too occupied to do anything but dodge and panic.

EYEWRIN: But man oh man, is she great at it!

> "I don't like this game anymore!"
Sailor Moon whined.

AARON: Then hold in the reset button as you press the power —
oh, wait, you're in real life, not a game. For a second there, I
was confused!

> A whirling energy blast came from behind
her, creating a focused fireball upon impacting two of the youma,
vaporizing them. Everyone looked around.

> "Oh, come on! You can take these
things!" a voice called out. Sailor Moon felt her confidence
rising at this.

AERIN: Her confidence rose so high, in fact, that she didn't hear
this voice say anything about her being an idiot or having all the
character of a dead walrus, so I guess that it all worked out for
the best.

> "NUCLEAR BOOT TO THE HEAD!!!"
the voice yelled. A shadow launched itself from behind Sailor Moon,
its foot slamming into the head of the youma closest to her, knocking
it out cold. The shadow rebounded from the kick, doing a quick spinning
flip to land beside Sailor Moon.

EYEWRIN: "DAN-DAN BOOT TO THE HEAD!!!!" .Okay,
obligatory Twoflower reference: complete. (Pulls out little checklist
and marks one of the lines off)

AARON: You're keeping a list?

EYEWRIN: And checking it twice.

> The shadow was revealed to be a tall
man with short black hair, wearing green armor with a sheathed sword
and had a golden circlet around his head. The circlet had a blue
jewel at the forehead.

> He smiled at her.

> Sailor Moon sighed and went into her
'heart eyes' mode.

AERIN: Someone should doink her in those eyes.

> "Greetings. I'm the Starlight Knight.
May I ask who you are?" the man asked.

EYEWRIN: Atomic Starlight Knight. Sheesh, you'd expect
him to know his own name.

> "Ser, er— Sailor Moon!"
Sailor Moon said, transfixed by his blue eyes. On second thought,
she considered, maybe this isn't that bad after all.

The Starlight Knight quickly shook her hand.

AARON: Indent, sucka, indent, before I make an indent in your forehead.

> "Wonderful to meet you, Sailor
Moon," he said before a growl attracted their attention again.
"Shall we continue?" Sailor Moon shook herself out of
her daze and nodded, smiling.

> The Starlight Knight unsheathed his
sword and, giving a nod to Sailor Moon, began combat with a heavily
armored lobster-like youma.

> "Good work, but keep an eye out
behind you!" Starlight Knight said, hurling his sword past
Sailor Moon, and directly into a youma that was sneaking its way
behind her, disintegrating it.

AARON: I guess that throwing away his weapons and fighting barehanded
is part of his, ah

EYEWRIN: Idiom, sir?

AARON: Yes! Idiom!

> Sailor Moon's tiara came back to her,
and she caught it.

> Starlight Knight, now lacking a weapon
capable of fending off the pincers from the youma, was dodging,
but also seemed to be enjoying the entire experience immensely.

EYEWRIN: Of course he does! It's in his, er, uh

AARON: Idiom, sir?

EYEWRIN: Yes! Wait! Didn't we already do this joke?

AARON: Any joke worth doing once is worth doing over and over and
over and over until the people reading are sick to death
of us.

> "Moon Tiara Magic!"

> The second throw obliterated the lobster
and another youma behind it. Starlight Knight felt the
energy used in the tiara as it passed by.

> "Yikes! That girl's packing some
power!" Starlight Knight whispered to himself before asking,
"Can I duplicate that energy?" His mind responded affirmative.
He turned his head, smiled and nodded to Sailor Moon, who smiled
in return. He sensed something coming at him.

> "Atomic Sucker Punch!" Starlight
Knight yelled, and drove a glowing, energy-enhanced fist directly
into the face of an oncoming youma, driving it back a few meters.
He'd have gone for his sword, but that was too far back, and behind
Sailor Moon, so that wasn't an option. He went for trying to duplicate
Sailor Moon's attack.

AARON: Always taking the easy way out why doesn't he just
rip a youma's arm off and beat it to death?

EYEWRIN: Because he wants to show off the ASK's neato ability to
learn. It's called 'writing', Aaron; you should figure out how to
do it sometime.

> He took off his circlet.

> The green-armored knight held it, charging
it with energy.

> "Stellar Circlet Disintegration!"
he called out, finding a nifty new name for the attack he just mastered.

AERIN: Ig. That attack name is nowhere near nifty. It's
barely worthy of spiffiness. How could Ben have lost his ability
to rate cool attack names so quickly? Doesn't he know that niftiness

> Then, he threw it.

> Direct hit! The circlet tore through
the youma he had been fighting and disintegrated it. There were
now only two youma left: Morga, and a biker-type-guy with knives
for arms. Starlight Knight caught his circlet and put it back on.
He found himself once more beside Sailor Moon. He picked up his
sword.

> "I'll take the biker, you take
the 'goldfish,'" he whispered to Sailor Moon.

AARON: Goldfish?

AERIN: Probably just something that we missed, dear.

> "Okay," the blonde girl replied,
with only a little hesitation.

> Outside

> "What would you like me to do now?"
Sailor Earth asked Arby happily, expertly dodging the youma's energy
blasts in front of the jewelry store while keeping the mind-controlled
people from getting hurt in the process.

EYEWRIN: Very accurate and succinct suggestions from the ArbyFish
indeed.

> "Alright," Sailor Earth replied,
not knowing how, but somehow analyzing the power that the transformation
had given her before deciding on a course of action.

> "Earth Sunlight Happiness Purification!"
she said, gathering energy, then releasing it, causing the area
to light up in a pure, white glow. The youma cringed while the people
sighed contentedly and collapsed. (After the fight was over, they
woke up feeling like a million dollars. "I love you, man!")

EYEWRIN: Hah!

> "Oh my!" Sailor Earth said
in surprise, noting the effect.

> "You'll pay for that!" the
youma said, recovering from the 'attack,' if you could call it that.

AARON: "Sure thing. Uh, in what currency? Sorry, all I have
is a check for some Hardcore Whoopass; can you cash it if I endorse
it to you?"

> "Good work. Now, watch out for
the monsta'," Arby advised. As soon as he did, Sailor Earth
dodged another energy blast, only to be caught by the youma. The
beginnings of anxiety began to creep up in her psyche. She kept
smiling, of course. Maybe, she thought, the big scary monster just
needed a hug.

AERIN: Or maybe he needs a boot to the head. Wake up,
girlfriend!

EYEWRIN: Did you just call her 'girlfriend'?

AERIN: It was sarcasm, okay?

> There was a red flash as a rose flew
in and imbedded itself in the asphalt between Sailor Earth and the
youma. It released her and backed off a bit.

EYEWRIN: Roses? Roses? WTF is he doing throwing flowers
around? Does he think this is some kinda opera? Flowers just aren't
scary. Well, unless they're the kind that let you blow fire out
your nose like an overweight world-saving plumber.

> A man in a black tuxedo came out of
the shadows. He wore a top hat and a white mask that covered his
eyes. He also had an ornamental cane to go with the ensemble.

AARON: First flowers, now mushrooms what the hell do you
think this is, Ben, Super Sailor Mario Scout Brothers IV?

> The monster in question was now advancing
toward them. Sailor Earth took action, an unknown reflex taking
effect.

> "Earth Thunderstorm," she
intoned sweetly. A cloud gathered in the area. A wind blew into
the youma. Multiple lightning strikes hit, doing a nice job of electrocuting
it. It crumbled into dust. Sailor Earth gasped and held a hand to
her cheek as she saw what happened. "Oh my!"

AERIN: How does that first taste of real blood go down, dear? Starting
to feel a bit more like your old self again?

AARON: A-ha! That's the ArbyFish incoherency that I've grown to
know and love from those lovable little mouldy seals! I couldn't
understand quite what he was saying, but it was so fun to read him
saying it!

> The redhead blinked. "Oh. Okay."
She looked at where she last saw the tuxedoed man go. What a nice
man, she thought, her mood brightening.

> Back inside

> Sailor Moon prepared to throw her tiara
again. Starlight Knight was preparing to pull out another weapon
in his arsenal.

EYEWRIN: "WORLD DESTRUCTION BEAM!!!!"

AARON: No, that comes later in the series. Othawoise it just wouldn'
be propa.

> "Moon Tiara Magic!"

> "Magical Ginsu Sword!" Starlight
Knight called out, making a second sword appear in his left hand.
He held them together, gathering a charge, then slashed the swords
in the air, releasing the charge at the knife-biker youma. It braced
itself for destruction.

EYEWRIN: "No, don't kill me! I have so much to live for! Eighteen
tiny daemonic spawns in my home dimension! A chess tournament that
I have to win! An ARRRGGGHHH!!!"

> Sailor Moon's tiara vaporized Morga.

AERIN: What, no taunting call of "Moon-dusted"?

> Starlight Knight's attack merely impacted
in the center of the youma.

> The youma, feeling that it wasn't destroyed,
felt itself and began to laugh at the knight, and then exploded
in a brilliant display of fireworks.

EYEWRIN: Do not laugh at the Happy Fun Atomic Starlight Knight.
Do not taunt the Happy Fun Atomic Starlight Knight.

> The energy ball Jadeite held vanished.
He looked more annoyed than surprised.

> Jadeite appeared in front of Sailor
Moon, scowling at the defeat of his plan. His entire task force
had been obliterated!

AARON: And teleporting so quickly meant that he didn't have a chance
to change his uniform; the pizza stain on his lapel was driving
him insane!!

> Sailor Moon was surprised because she
hadn't adapted fully to the oddity of someone appearing out of nowhere.

> "It's amazing that one such as
you could be such an annoyance. Don't worry, I will not underestimate
you next time," Jadeite said, then disappeared.

AARON: (Serena voice) "Oh, wow, who was that? Well, I guess
that he can't be that important, or else he would have told me his
name in that villainous villainous "

AERIN: "Idiom?"

AARON: "Yes, idiom!"

EYEWRIN: (plugging ears) Nooo! Stop it!! Stop it!!

> "Wait, was that who I think it
was?!" Atomic Starlight Knight thought as he watched the scene.
A.S.K. had activated his invisibility as soon as he went into the
shadows then doubled back to check up on Sailor Moon.

AARON: Let's see if he can keep from spoiling it by slamming his
head into a wall to keep the voices at bay.

> "Sure looks like it. I guess that
means that the Negaverse is back!"

> A.S.K. smiled. "This just keeps
getting better and better. So I can teleport now?"

> "Right."

> "YESSS!" Atomic Starlight
Knight said triumphantly. He had always wanted to be able to teleport.
Well, as long as he could remember, right off hand.

AERIN: About fifteen minutes, then.

> He wasted no time in trying it by teleporting
to what he had designated as his home base. Due to its being located
deep within the atmosphere of Jupiter, he hadn't been able to go
back there for quite some time now.

EYEWRIN: That's what you get when you buy budget real estate.

> He hoped that his starship was still
there.

> On her way out, Sailor Moon had freed
Molly's mother, and given a dramatic goodbye before leaping off
into the shadows. A couple of leaps later, she slammed directly
into Sailor Earth.

AERIN: Did their heads crack together and sprout those cute little
bandages? I love those gag shots!

> "Humph," Sailor Earth exhaled,
having the wind knocked out of her as she was also pushed down.

AARON: I don't know why, but that sentence just feels like a redundant
repeating of stuff that's been said already. Could you reword it
or something?

> They both got up and dusted themselves
off, and then gasped when they finally noticed each other.

EYEWRIN: What did they think that they'd bumped into, a brick wall?

> "Hello," Sailor Earth said
brightly.

> "Hi!" Sailor Moon replied
in a friendly manner.

> "Weren't you back at the jewelry
shop just a few minutes ago?" Sailor Moon asked Sailor Earth.

> "Yes! I was outside. I met someone
nice: A man in a tuxedo!"

> "I was fighting evil inside! The
whole place was filled with monsters! Someone in green armor helped
me. We got all of them!" the blue-skirted warrior
for love and justice said, sighing inwardly at her memory of Starlight
Knight. They then talked about more details of the whole experience.

EYEWRIN: I guess slaughtering a band of helpless youma who never
even stood a chance is a bonding experience for young teenager girls.

> Luna cleared her throat. "Perhaps
we could continue this at a later time," she said. "I
need to discuss some things with Serena now."

AARON: I dunno. Can't be too much longer. The episode
is coming to an end soon, and how much farther can he stretch it
past that?

> Sailor Moon and Sailor Earth looked
at each other, then turned back to the cat and nodded in agreement.

> "How about you meet me before school?"
Sailor Earth asked.

EYEWRIN: Hey, how does she expect that Serena, Ms. Late-To-School
of the Year, would be able to meet her before school?

> "Okay, I'll see you then!"
Sailor Moon replied.

> They then went their respective ways.

> Before the Tuxedo Mask persona was completely
submerged, he had a thought. During the fight, he had felt as if
who he had been helping was not quite the right person But
he shook that off. Who else would he have defended? At least now,
he knew visually who to look for when something like this happened.
He would remember that.

AARON: Hah!

EYEWRIN: Hey, that's my line!

> "MAN, what a workout!"

> Back at his designated 'home base,'
Atomic Starlight Knight was reviewing what he had seen and was considering
his options. His starship was still there, and the automated systems
had even repaired the structural damage made from his first encounter
with this particular solar system. The repair systems had repainted
it chrome, but he didn't mind. He wasn't thinking about that right
now, anyway, so let's shelve that flashback for a later chapter.
Right now, he was thinking about Terra.

EYEWRIN: Yay! He's wrapping it to a close! We won't have to read
the flashback now!

> "First of all, why a Sailor Senshi?"

AERIN: Uh you do realize that if he doesn't do it
now, he'll do it in the next chapter, right?