GET A LIFE: Don’t be a broken record about your problems

Monday

Dec 31, 2012 at 12:01 AMDec 31, 2012 at 7:47 AM

The arrival of a new year means many people will be making resolutions. But columnist Loretta LaRoche says resolving to make changes accomplishes very little; you need attainable goals and a plan for achieving them.

Loretta LaRoche

Here we go again. Another year is upon us and millions of individuals are ramping up to make changes in their lives through myriad resolutions. It certainly makes sense to evaluate our lives and try to renew our minds, bodies and spirits. But all the good intentions will never be brought to fruition without a plan, attainable goals, a timeline and action.

And – let’s get real – without action, you can expect to achieve nothing. Many of us are masters at talking about what we want to do, but not at doing it. Thinking about losing weight might burn a few calories, but eating less and moving more will definitely make a difference. Telling your friends and family about your lousy relationship day in and day out and how sick it makes you will do nothing but make you sick. Feeling overwhelmed, fatigued and taken advantage of will not get you a place in history but it could get you an earlier demise.

Believe me, I have expended a lot of energy talking about things that left me feeling miserable. Only when I began to take steps toward solutions was I able to free myself from being a prisoner of my thoughts and redundant babble. But, staying stuck becomes par for the course, especially if we have been discussing our problems for years. They become part of us, like a pair of worn slippers. We’re used to them, and getting rid of them means we have to break in a new pair. Changing habits is similar. It’s uncomfortable and often painful. It’s hard to imagine feeling good when you’re used to feeling bad. Especially when you misconstrue overeatingand not being respected, nurtured or cherished as par for the course. Often change happens quickly and dramatically when people face daunting challenges. A heart attack, stroke or cancer often gives people huge incentives to get healthy. Discovering that a partner is cheating often drives individuals to finally move on.

However, we do not have to get to the proverbial end of our rope. There are no easy answers, but what I’ve discovered is that each day is “the day.” Make the most of each day by seeing yourself as someone who deserves to live your best possible life. I know I can keep promises to myself one day at a time. And it feels so much better than a whole list of resolutions that could make me feel guilty and stressed. Happy New Year!