It’s no secret that I’m in a wonderful relationship. I tell everyone at every opportunity. I struggled for ways to show Michael how important he was to me. I couldn’t find that one thing needed to express my love for him, then I asked him to marry me. He said yes.

Marriage is an important milestone for us. We can’t do it in Australia. Fundamentally we aren’t really changing anything about our relationship, we are simply publicly expressing the importance of our lives together.

So when I yet again read something from the Australian Christian Lobby that attempts to undermine my relationship with Michael I get a bit upset. Not just for me but for others who so desperately want to get married.

But the Greens, who cite changing the definition of marriage as one of their top priorities (along with euthanasia), are chipping away.

Recently they set up a Senate inquiry into a bill to recognise same-sex marriages conducted overseas.

This is clearly a tactic to put pressure on parliamentarians as part of the Greens’ misguided assault on the rights of children to have their mum and dad, wherever possible.

Whether or not you think the Greens are misguided is a political judgement, they are doing what they should be doing in a democratically elected parliament, attempting to represent those that voted for them. However, to suggest that somehow marriage equality is an assault on the rights of children is just insane. This notion that somehow allowing Michael and me to get married will mean that kids won’t have a mother and father is madness.

The truth is there is no discrimination against same-sex couples in Australia. Keeping marriage between a man and a woman does not change this.

Well, lets test that, I assume Lyle is straight and married to a woman. I assume that they love each other and the reason that they got married is because they love each other. Lyle has married the person of his choice. I love Michael. I want to marry him. Michael is my choice for the person I want to marry. Yet, I’m not permitted under Australian law to do so. Why not? It’s because we are both men. That, to me, sounds like discrimination. Feels like it too.

But if Australia capitulates on the definition of marriage, our cultural assumption that a child has the right – wherever possible – to her or his biological mother and father, will be lost.

What is it with these guys that they continually place children as the central reason for marriage ignoring all those who decide to either have children out-of-wedlock or not have children at all. There is no requirement to have children as part of a marriage and there is no requirement to be married to have children. And just once it’d be great to see Lyle show us just where this right that apparently is a cultural assumption is written down.

A civil and unselfish society puts the rights of children first, no matter how emotive the arguments against this are.

I don’t know which society you live in Lyle, but our society is very selfish. Sure, there are lots of great things happening and lots of selfless people about, but really, there are poor, hungry, homeless children living amongst us. You could be working with those families that need support instead of picking on the gays. The unsaid thing here, however, is this notion that somehow gay people have children as some sort of trophy or possession. That we only want children so we can somehow show them off. Nothing is further from the truth. Every parent I’ve met, regardless of their sexuality, is a selfless parent who would do anything for their children. Just because you’re gay doesn’t stop that fundamental biological urge to have children and raise them as your own. It’s part of being human, and mostly our sexuality doesn’t diminish that drive any more than the rest of the population. That same basic instinct is the same that drives straight couples to start families.

It’s easy to over look the role that Lyle Shelton as the Managing Director of the Australian Christian Lobby plays in this debate. We need to be taking that into account in all their lobbying. Although Lyle makes no mention of it, religion is the driving factor here. He pretends that it’s about the children, because for the ACL that’s the emotive argument. The way they continue to justify their discrimination is to pretend that it’s not biblically based. The reality is that the ACL is about forcing their version of Christian ethics on the rest of the population. Their ethics are orthodox Christian values. They believe that gay people are sinners, the work of demons and just plain evil. The Chairman of the ACL, Tony McLellan said this in a report on Lateline in 2012:

TONY MCLELLAN: It’s against the kingdom of God by the Devil. The Devil doesn’t like God and doesn’t like everything God stands for. I would say that people who are trying to change the definition of marriage, which has its roots in Christianity, are obviously trying to deconstruct Christian’s views of what marriage should be. And they well may be motivated by the evil one to do that.

No doubt there are plenty of reasons to deconstruct Christian views in our society. The churches have used and abused their position when it comes to the well-being of children. Reality is that religion isn’t going away any time soon. But then neither am I. Nor are the hundreds of thousands of gay Australians and our supporters.

The ACL have tried to shift this ‘war’ to the well-being of the children. For generations children have been raised in a variety of ways, through mothers only, through villages, through dads only, with the use of wet-nurses, adopted parents, orphanages and with both parents. There should be no doubt in your mind that no matter what happens to marriage, people will continue to breed and raise the off-spring. The way forward is not to tell us who can and can’t do it, but to support those who want to be parents. As a society that is surely the way to do it.

The ACL in shifting the debate is being dishonest and disingenuous. At the root of all their rhetoric only one thing matters to them, bringing about the kingdom of their god. They honestly believe that it is their duty to push their ethics onto the rest of society because they think they’re right. If we don’t agree with them we are deemed to be a demon, be influenced by a demon or just plain evil.

We don’t hear that sort of talk from them, it’s not going to win them any support. The last thing that the ACL really cares about is your children, or the rights of the children. They only care about their faith. Nothing else matters.

How selfish of them.

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You can voice your support for marriage equality by making a submission to the Senate Inquiry for the Recognition of Foreign Marriages Bill 2014 at the website for Australian Marriage Equality.

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