Iran unveils 'Penis of Allah'

TEHRAN-- Iran's minister of defense is reporting that the Islamic Republic of Iran will soon unveil its new homemade fighter jet known as "Azarakhsh," -- loosely translated as "Penis of Allah".

Iranian General Mustafa Najar stated that the government of Iran was seeking to demonstrate to the world by its military and defense improvements that Iran is no longer willing to be thought of as 7th century barbarians swinging swords and riding camels.

"Soon the Penis of Allah, will fly into and penetrate the western capitalist nations whom we despise and envy so much," Najar said. "We are also hoping that now we can hold our heads up at the U.N. meetings because we too have a great tool of destruction."

Najar also said that Iran was expecting to unveil a new national helicopter tentatively called the "Balls of Allah".

"Where the Fighter jet will provide the thrust and power to penetrate, the new helicopter will carry the load of our infinitely holy military might to infidels everywhere within its range," Najar said. "Both aircraft will run on a new Iranian developed fuel called the blood of martyrs created in a joint effort between our scientists and our most holy mullahs. With these new and great infallible weapons the world will not dare to chastise us for our irrational tantrums ever again."

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