The Tao of Mom

Mother's Day is a time for reflection on values gained, lessons learned, love shared

May 11, 2013

Flowers, breakfast in bed and handmade cards from the kids are expressions that make Mother's Day special, but for most of us, the holiday taps into something much deeper. Thoughts of Mom spark memories of the person who dried our tears as children, set boundaries for us as teens, counseled us as young parents, and celebrated our adult successes. Mothers give us something few others can: unconditional love.

The lessons we learned from our mothers shaped our character and helped make us who we are. And even after our mothers are no longer with us, we call up our memories when we need a lift, a word of encouragement, a voice of reason. Whether we need to hear "you can succeed" or "I'll love you even if you don't," the inner voice of Mom can sustain us in the most troubling of times.

On Saturday, we featured the voices of readers who shared the most important things they learned from their mothers. Today, we share the lessons learned by area leaders. To all mothers everywhere — and the many women who have served as mother-substitutes — we offer our gratitude and appreciation for your patience, kindness and sacrifices.

"My mother's greatest lesson was to take life seriously but to never take yourself seriously. As a result she set an example of grace, strength, humor and empathy for her fellow man."

Hampton Mayor Molly Joseph Ward

"She taught me that you treat others the way you want to be treated."

Newport News Mayor McKinley L. Price

"Of the many wonderful things my mother helped me to understand, the most important is to be kind to others: Listen to what they are saying, engage with them, put yourself in their place, and before you do or say anything think 'How would that make me feel?'"

Williamsburg Mayor Clyde Haulman

"My mother's large, loving family came from Spain so she and her siblings were first-generation Americans. As they started families of their own, get-togethers were like a mini United Nations. My cousins and I knew nothing about cultural diversity; we only knew that we were surrounded by adults that loved and respected one another. My mother's health was fragile, having contracted rheumatic fever as a young adult but she was always the center of every get together. In what was otherwise a loud and boisterous group, she was the person that family turned to for advice; every child with a scraped knee came for her kisses to make it better. Her intellectual curiosity, her loving nature, her respect for everyone; all these examples had enormous impact but I think that it was her complete lack of self-pity in the face of all she had to endure that has served me best in life. As she would say, 'Don't complain; celebrate what you have.'"

Walter Zaremba, Chairman,York County Board of Supervisors

"The most important thing that I learned from my mother was to be kind to others and treat them the way that I would like to be treated. My mother is the kindest person that I know and has and continues to have a positive influence in my life."

Gloucester Sheriff Darrell Warren

"I'm so grateful for my mom for teaching me the true value of education. Growing up in Alabama, my mother, who is Japanese, didn't speak or write English very well. At times, the language barrier brought her challenges, but her perseverance and dedication to me and my siblings showed me how an education would be critical to my independence. I never wanted to be dependent on anyone for my well-being. Her strength really gave me a lot of inspiration and drive in my education and in my career path."