March Madness 2012: America’s Best Drunk College Food

While the rest of you were obsessing over your brackets, Endless Simmer has been evaluating OUR favorite part of college: the food. Yep, we’re talking about that greasy, cheesy, meaty, bacon-y, over-the-top late-night goodness that can only be found in one place: college.

After much exhaustive research, and with March Madness just about to tip off, we’re ready to present our second annual list of all 68 NCAA tournament teams, ranked by their best drunk college food.

68. Montana: Hoagieville Cheese Fries

This esteemed establishment claims to have invented the idea of putting “taco cheese” on top of French fries. And yes, they are proud of that.

66. Kentucky: MegaHo Burger

This triple-decker burger comes complete with gravy, cheese, jalapenos, mushrooms, bacon, tomato, pickle and lettuce. Only ranked so low because we have not confirmed that you can eat this and still walk out the door alive.

65. St. Louis University: The Slinger

A St. Louis tradition that is widely available at 24-hours establishments, although we find it hard to stomach that anyone would eat this before 3am: two fried eggs, a hamburger, a mound of hash browns, a sea of chili and a handful of cheese.

64. Creighton: Mexi Munchers

A place in Omaha, Nebraska called California Tacos serves a dish called Mexi Munchers that has absolutely nothing to do with Mexico or California. However, it is essentially tater tots filled with cheese, so no argument here.

54. Loyola, MD: Stokos Overstuffed Subs

53. Baylor: The Big Randy

1.5 pounds of meat on one bun? Only in Texas. This is not a joke/challenge, but an actual menu item. Three half-pound patties, with American cheese, onions, jalapenos, lettuce, tomato and pickles all the way through.

50. Indiana: Pizza Sandwich

Gotta love how the menu at this Hoosier hangout refers to this dish as a “traditional stromboli” — as if anyone in Sicily has ever chowed down on two giant pieces of white bread stuffed with pounds of ground sausage, mozzarella cheese, onions and “pizza sauce.”

42. University of South Florida: Memphis Mary

41. Kansas State: Tijuana Trainwreck

Basically every Mexican and Mexican-ish ingredient — tortilla, chicken, salsa, chili, black beans, corn, cheese and sour cream, etc — all cooked together in one bowl, and served, for some reason,with a salad.