Friday, November 8, 2013

Thanksgiving
is coming up and posting what you are most thankful for on Facebook seems to be
the trend again this year, so I thought I would say what I am most thankful for
through my blog. Let me start off with the obvious things such as Josh and I having
jobs so we can put food on our table and clothes on our bodies and to give my
beautiful step daughter Kae a good life. There are a lot more obvious things
but then this blog wouldn’t be so interesting so let me move on.

I have to
say the thing I am most thankful for is something that I NEVER in my life
thought I wouldbe thankful for and that
is infertility……..I know, weird right? Don’t get me wrong I hate going through
infertility more than anything in this world, it has done a number not only on our bank
account but it has taken its toll on us emotionally and has almost killed me
twice. But this “horrible” disease that is standing in the way of my body ever
carrying a child and makes me cry myself to sleep almost EVERY night for the
past 4 years is also one of the biggest blessings of my life.

Infertility has made my marriage stronger and
has made me love Josh more and more every day. Josh and I have been trying to
have a baby together since 3 days after we got married and after I had 3
surgeries and gone through countless fertility treatments most men would have
said “we just need to stop” my wonderful husband says “we will never give up.”
He has been by my side through everything and he lifts me up whenever I get
knocked down or feel too weak to continue on with this journey. Without his
strength I don’t know if I would have made it this far so I am truly thankful
for Joshua Blaine Henrickson!

Infertility
has made me super close to my family as well; my sister, Mom and Dad have been
so great during all of this by reassuring us that we are not alone and that
they have out backs! My wonderful parents last year hosted a fundraiser to help
us raise money to do an IVF cycle with no strings attached, they never made us
feel like we owed them and we know they did it because they love us and want to
see our dream come true (thank you to all of our family and friends who donated
last year). My sister has held my hand and listened to me cry and has cried
with me more times than I can count, she has been one of my biggest supporters
and I cannot say how much I love her for all that she has done for us!

I was told
once that this journey will make me see who my true friends are and boy were
they right! I have had many friends just kind of disappear or will say things
here and there but not many of them are right by my side calling to see how
things are going and how we are holding up. To me these small things are a HUGE
part of a friendship and when your “friend” is going through hard times no
matter how long they are going through it, you should always show your support.
I now know who my true friends are and who are not and I am sure the people who
are not will read this and wonder if it’s them. To my friends that have been
there for us, we thank you for even just a simple phone call or acknowledgement
that you care, we love you!

This journey has also brought out people who I
was never very close to, they have surprised us by donating to our fundraiser
last year, offering their bodies for 9 months or offering their eggs to us. Words
cannot describe how much these people mean to us! To those of you who were
serious about helping us or who have helped us we want to thank you and know
that Josh and I are forever grateful!

Because of infertility
I have met some wonderful ladies, who have been on or are currently on this
journey. These women have reassured me that what I am feeling is normal and
that I am in fact not alone. Thank you for sharing your stories with me and
giving me someone I can relate too.

4 years ago
we met with our first fertility specialist Dr. Horvath and at first we thought
he was kind of an ass but later showed us such compassion. When I was in the hospital
he came into see me even though he wasn’t my attending, him and my nurse (Amy
Alix) would call me just to see how I was feeling, he made us realize that he
wasn’t in this for the success rate or money but that he really cared and wanted to help us. Sadly Dr. Horvath
was diagnosed this summer with Liposarcoma was given only a few more months to
live. He is a wonderful man and he will truly be missed!

Last but not
least because of our struggles we know the importance of family and when we
finally become pregnant and have our baby we will never take for granted this
gift from God because we have been through hell and back to get him/her! Life of course isn’t fair and it feels as
though we will be on this journey forever but someday and somehow Josh and I
will have a baby together!

Followers

About Me

My name is Christina, my husband Josh and I have been trying to conceive our first baby since May of 2009. We have been seeing our Reproductive Endocrinologist since December of 2009. I thought it would be a good idea to start blogging our journey and show all the ups and downs and in-betweens of what has to be the hardest thing I have ever gone through. I thought this would be a great therapy tool for me to vent what I am feeling and then thought that it would be great to share my story for other women who are going through similar issues. I know how lonely infertility can be and no matter how many people you come across that have trouble getting pregnant you still feel very much alone. I hope to inspire women to stay strong during their journey.