My commitment is to transform our current cultural conversation about cancer from one of fear and dread to one that empowers those of us who have cancer, as well as our friends & loved ones.

I had cancer. Cancer didn't have me.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

I Feel Well Today

Just a quick note. I feel well today. I am sore, but I have no pain. I have not even been home for 24-hours. It's such an odd thing to be a patient at a hospital.

When I heard my room mate speak with nurses or family, I would think, "I'm different from him. He's 87-years old and this is normal." Then some time later it hit me pretty hard. No. He's just like me. He wants to be well and he wants to be home with his wife and his family.

Well last night at the dinner table with my family was one of the most beautiful experiences I've had in a very long time. Now I'm crying again. I'm going to go take a nap. And I hope my roomie from the hospital is doing okay.

2 comments:

Bert--I am so moved by your willingness to feel deeply and to share fully. The example you set of living and feeling in the moment is a true inspiration. Thank you. I am overjoyed to hear that you are cancer free!love, Anke

I'm glad you are feeling well today. I don't know if I'm jealous that you had a roommate or not. My surgery required me to be assessed so frequently that I got a private room, as it would be too disruptive to a roommate. The good thing about that was that I had all the privacy I could want. But after my visitors went home, it was a little lonely.

Still, I'm glad you weren't alone in your room, and that you had another patient you could identify with.

In our Unitarian Universalist church service, we open by lighting the chalice and saying "Life is a gift for which we are grateful. We gather in community to celebrate the glories and the mysteries of this great gift."

That meant a lot to me before this cancer, but it means even more to me now. I can understand your tears at dinner with your family. I often feel very moved by the simplest of moments with the people that I love, especially since my surgery.

"Old Iron Sides"

Our Deepest Fear by Marianne Williamson

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?" Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”