I'd
always been told to be myself. I lived by that until now … Now that
I've learned that who I am is unacceptable.

I've done something
terrible. I was blinded by my selfish, unholy desires, and I have
been shamed.

I've failed my
family, my friends, and God.

As far as I'm
concerned, I have no right to be alive right now. I keep thinking
back to it: my mother crying, my father unable to look at me.

I can't believe I
was so stupid. I should have known. I should have known the moment I
kissed her. I should have known that it was wrong. I should have
known that girls shouldn't love other girls.

It just felt so right
…

No.

I can't say
that. That is Satan speaking within me. That is my failure to
overcome this weakness. It's a sin. The love I feel for her is
unholy. Loving her is a sin.

Love … is a sin.

I know what I must do.
I need to stop lying to myself. I don't love her. I'm not in love
with a girl. I don't like other girls.

I'm going to stop
lying and leave the darkness of my bedroom. I'm going to go
downstairs and apologize to my mother. I'll give her a hug and tell
her that she doesn't need to keep crying. It's over now. I'm
better.

Tomorrow is Sunday.
I'll go to my Sunday school class with the other
elementary-schoolers and I'll ask God to forgive me, too. I'll
explain to Him that I was weak, and that I strayed from His path.
I'll ask for His guidance and love.

Love …

Love is a sin.

The author would like to thank you for your continued support. Your review has been posted.