Wednesday, November 13, 2013

HUMP DAY PUMP UP

But then I got an IM at work. For those of us in the unknow - an IM is an INSTANT MESSAGE. #Technology

The long and short of it is, this lady at work heard a certain song on her drive in. An earworm. And she shared the glorious news with me, the Bringer of the PUMP.

What song was it?

Here's a clue...and it's a real PUMPER. A tune so PUMPY and so catchy that you will be forced to sing along in a PUMPY manner.

Oh, that's so 2012? Too GODPUMP BAD, MOTHERPUMPER.

It's cold out, and in a couple hours, it won't be. We are fighting winter here, and we're winning. If that's not reason to get PUMPED, then I don't know what is.

And cause I'm in a PUMPY MOOD right meow, here are some more untapped PUMPJAMS, PUMPGEMS, to get you through the rest of this week.

Oh you think I'm nuts cause I went from Carly Rae Jepson to Rancid? Well my friend, that PUMP can be elusive, and we're not one to discriminate here. (Haha actually we are), but when it comes to the PUMP, and getting PUMPED UP, we have to be open minded. BUT THOSE ARE THE ONLY TIMES YOLO

Let me ask you this: are you here to pass the time, or are you here to kick the shit out of the rest of the week and have the best weekend ever?

If it's the former, please reread, rewatch, and relisten to the above PUMPMATERIAL. If the latter, PUMP YEAH and PUMP ON, friendo.

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where you from, shawtie?

tall man on the loose in tampa area

True story, there is a tall man terrorizing the Tampa area. This weirdo usually hangs out around parks, trying to find pick-up games of basketball - during which, he will grab the ball and maneuver around so that you come into contact with his stinky, naughty bits.

Truly an unpleasant experience.

His signature move is the "bait and switch junk grab". As you're grabbing for the ball, his junk magically appears. In the way of your hand.

Another one of his famous moves is to let the ball go loose, then as you scramble for it, his sweaty ass gets in the way. Of your face.