Like this:

Hey guys, Xero here. I’m posting this to let y’all know that there may be light-to-zero posting until maybe next week. At least from me. Crista may still post some things, but..

We’ve had some pretty terrible weather. The area we’re in is not nearly as bad as some places below us in Texas, but still kinda bad. My garage is flooded and my backyard is a swamp. So, I have to get all that shit cleaned up. Also, there is a 50% or greater chance of even MORE rain over the nex three days.

Another thing is, Crista is planning a wedding. Her wedding. She’s pretty much on schedule, but might take a few days to dot Tees and cross Eyes and whatnot.

Like this:

So, some months ago, some guy was going about his night-on-the-town business of doing what people do when they’re out on the town. He was dancing. Until some fuckwads started filming him while hurling body-shaming insults at him. Here, watch.

The above video is not the original viral video. We’d like to think ‘from embarrassment’ is where the original went to die.

The original video went viral. For reasons entirely contrary to the original intent, probably. See, the Internet said, “Whoa, that shit ain’t cool. Let’s do something about it,” jammed the Awesome-mobile into gear and set out to find this man using social media and the hashtag #FindDancingMan.

The Internet being what it is, and Awesome People being what they are, he was found. The aforementioned Awesome People also decided, “this dude needs a goddamn party, so he can dance however, and for however long he wants to, without a gaggle of jerks running off at the mouth.” So, that’s what they did.

As you can see by the above video, this was a PARTY (and might still be going on!).

His name is Sean O’Brien, and he dances. As for the assholes who shot the original video, it probably sucks to be watching this guy having a fucking blast at a giant glitzy party, because of you. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Like this:

Grecia the Toucan [via fusion.net]
People are awful sometimes. And some of them were super awful to this beautiful bird.

The 1-year-old toucan’s upper beak got hacked off by a group of miscreants who left the bird for dead after ruining his handsome face. For the past four months, the half-beaked bird has been nursed back to health at Costa Rica’s Animal Rescue Bird Zoo, where he’s learned to feed himself by scooping and guzzling mashed fruit with his lower mandible — not unlike a pelican.

Enter Science! and Awesome People. Some folks started an indiegogo campaign to get this guy a new goddamn beak.

Thanks to the collective ingenuity of Costa Rica’s tech sector, and $10,000 in funding from an Indiegogo campaign, the injured bird is about to get equipped with a new 3D-printed prosthetic beak — or “toucan dentures,” as nobody has called it.

They are going to 3-D print him a beak!

“It’s really special to be able to help an injured toucan with 3D printing technology and show the world that Costa Rica has the skills and potential to do something like this,” said Mariela Fonseca, manager of Elementos 3D, one of the three Costa Rican firms working to build the toucan a prosthetic chomper.

Currently, the good people attending to Grecia are figuring out how, exactly, to attach his new beak, and how it will impact him once they do figure out the best way to attach it. Whether humans like it or not, the bird does have a say, and he might say, “hell with this, I’m doing okay for now.”

“If we put the beak on and it stresses him out or causes any pain, it’ll be better to take it off again,” Soto told Fusion. “Because instead of improving his life, we’d be doing the opposite. But we have to try in any event.”

They are still deciding on colors for the new beak. The article mentions a Toucan Sam scheme, but I’d say let the bird decide. He may think Toucan Sam is a douche.

“This isn’t much of a big deal to me,” said Abraham, who graduated with a 4.0 and three associate’s degrees just one year after Today reported that he had successfully completed California’s early-exit high school exam. [bold is ours]

His sister? Also a goddamn genius.

Abraham’s 9-year-old sister Tiara is on a similarly prodigious path: She’s also a member of Mensa and started taking college classes at age 7, too. [bold is ours]

We welcome our preteen overlords. We are also fully behind the repeal of “time-outs.”

Like this:

Now a lot of people love a drink every now and then, but some people like it a little too much. Let’s not let this article be misconstrued as an excuse to binge drink your favorite brew, absolutely nothing is good for you in excess. BUT if you are feeling guilty about knocking back a couple with your buddies, breath easy! Cause it turns out that the hop filled nectar of the gods is actually GOOD for you in moderation! YAAYYYY!

Here are some new excuses to give anyone that’s standing between you a frothy mug…

1- IT’S GOOD FOR YOUR HEART!

There are more than 20 well-done, large international studies that all demonstrate the heart benefits of moderate alcohol consumption. One study, conducted by the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA) noted a 20 to 40 percent decrease in coronary artery disease in moderate alcohol drinkers.

Drinking beer responsibly is drinking healthy. Moderate consumption of beer (alcohol) results in an increase in HDL (good cholesterol) and a decrease in LDL (bad cholesterol), along with an improvement in both HDL and LDL particle size.

2-IT’S FULL OF VITAMIN-Y GOODNESS!

A Dutch study showed a 30 percent increase in vitamin B6 in beer drinkers, which makes sense because hops are loaded with the vitamin. This is important because vitamin B6 helps to battle heart disease.

Alcohol is also an antioxidant, which may contribute in part to the decrease in heart disease.

3-DECREASES KIDNEY STONES!

The Journal of Epidemiology revealed a 40 percent decrease in kidney stones among beer drinkers. This is most likely secondary to the hydration from the beer since we don’t note a similar finding with other alcohol consumption.

4-SPECIAL BENEFITS FOR LADIES!

The National Osteoporosis Risk Assessment followed more than 200,000 females and found that drinking alcohol decreased the incidence of osteoporosis (7). All of this leads to a decrease in hip fractures in elderly females, which is important because hip fractures after the age of 65 are associated with a significant increase in mortality.

So there you have it guys (and gals)! Enjoy a couple on us! (Not literally of course, but it’s the thought…) ;D