Well, the actual interview aired this morning, and it is clear now that we all owe Kanye West an apology because clearly he is very normal and his life is the hardest JK just kidding JK JK no he’s not no it’s not! Watch:

Kanye West doesn’t need all the jazz, you guys.

Ugh, this guy. I love a good runaway ego because it’s entertaining to watch, and sometimes there is something to be said for someone who is very popular and successful ACTING LIKE IT. But this is really getting out of control. Like, when he turns over his shoulder and asks people to be quiet? Relax, technokanyewest. You’re in a fucking TV studio, shit gets said into headsets. You don’t ACTUALLY think you’re the Queen of England, do you? Because it’s kind of annoying that the Queen of England thinks she’s the Queen of England, but at least she’s actually the Queen of England, you know? I also like that an international pop star on a highly successful television program talking about a personal conflict he has with a living President of the United States claims that he is “just being real.” Whatever THAT means. And just to reiterate: conducting a morning talk show interview about the MTV Video Music Awards before getting on a private jet to Abu Dhabi continues to not be even remotely similar to the very real facts of GENUINE HUMAN PAIN AND SUFFERING. Asshole.

OH! And just for the record, Kanye, in case there was any lingering confusion: you are NOT my hero NOR my villain savior NOR my sinner Christian NOR my anti Christ. You are just a dude with some songs on my Zune.