Drawing the Line

My daughter called me from her Dad's house yesterday. I always get a good night call, but early on, I'd get daytime calls, too.

"Mom, can I come home? I don't have any friends here and Dad is mad because we were fighting and I'm hiding in my room and I don't want to be here."

"Honey, you know its Daddy's weekend. He doesn't get too see you very often, and I know he wants you there. Think of how much it would hurt his feelings if you left."

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"I know," she says, forlornly. "I just get so bored here. And I miss you."

"I miss you too." I swallow hard, so my voice doesn't crack. "But this is how it is now. You'll make friends soon enough, and it won't be so boring then. Did you ask your Dad to play with you?"

"No. He's probably busy."

"He won't be too busy for you," I say, praying it's true. "Ask him."

She did, and they played Wii and all was fine. I got a few of those calls early on, but then they morphed into her calling me in protest every time they had a falling out. Yesterday's was: "Mom, Dad said we might go somewhere today but then he changed his mind because he says I've been too mean to David, and haven't been listening and he thinks I need an attitude adjustment."

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Oh, my. One the one hand, I know firsthand how her father's temper can be. On the other hand, I know she also has a tendency to not pick up after herself, fight with her brother, and sass back when you call her on any of it. I took a deep breath and answered her.

"Honey, this is between you and Dad. You need to work it out with him."

"But Mom –"

"Anna, you can't call me just because the two of you had a disagreement. I will not take sides, because I'm not there. This is between you and your Dad, and you should keep it that way. It's not respectful to him to go behind his back and call me this way. You wouldn't like it if he called me to complain about you, would you?"

"No. I guess not."

"I love you, Anna, but you need to hang up and go talk to Dad."

This single parent thing is not for the faint of heart, let me tell you.