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Tag: I cant find a job

A dream job could turn into a
nightmare when you have a boss who seems to go out of their way to be a jerk to
you. Sometimes, they seem to get some twisted pleasure in making you miserable.
Some environments have such a toxic culture; the employees have come to think it’s
normal for their bosses to behave this way. Worse still, they believe it’s a
rite of passage.

Dreading Monday

It can be so bad that you get depressed
the moment you realize after a beautiful weekend that you have to resume work
on Monday. The thought of sharing the same building with such a boss is incredibly
depressing and can ruin your mood for the rest of the day or the whole week. You
even get the feeling your boss hates being at work almost as much as you do.

My boss is a jerk

You know the one: No matter what you
do, it’s never right or enough. You could be on your own, doing your own thing,
or you could be asked to perform a task. You give it your best shot, but all
you get is a barrage of complaints and criticism at the end of the day. It
doesn’t matter what industry you are working in; jerk bosses can be anywhere.

Then there’s the one who probably has
no life of his own and expects you to stay after hours to do things that could
quickly have been done during the workday or are entirely above and beyond your
job description AND pay grade!

To put things in perspective, Robert I. Sutton provided a robust definition of who a jerk
boss is. He is quite knowledgeable in this field as he’s a Stanford University
professor and New York Times best-selling author of The No-A$$-hole Rule.
He is referring to the manager who leaves
you feeling de-energized, disrespected, and demeaned.

In a perfect world, you have a great
boss and love going to work. If you
don’t, you might want to consider a career change. In
the meantime, when you have no other option than to go to your hellish job so
you can survive and pay the bills, consider these career
tips to make it bearable.

Take
it in Stride and kill them with kindness.

Usually, when people treat others
poorly, it stems from deep insecurity and fear they have of their leading
potential. They somehow confuse
intimidation with leadership. Meeting
them with anger and resentment only makes things fester and get worse,
especially when they have the power to make your life miserable. According to Sutton, in such a situation, treat
them with respect, kindness, and give them genuine compliments. At the very least, you’ll confuse them, but
chances are, you will gradually soften their brashness and create a better
space for yourself.

This move may not work in all
instances if your boss is a power-hungry and derives joy in treating people like
dirt. In that case, it’s a defensive move—think of them as the miserable person
they are, feel sorry for them, smile,
and move on! Or, in your mind, see them
as a comical figure. By doing this, you create an emotional distance. It’s not worth getting upset or angry at The
Joker so just laugh (to yourself) at
their irrational behavior.

Limit
interaction to the minimum needed to do your job.

You tried. Remember, you only have
control of how you act and react, not how other people receive you. Their attitude is not going to change, and
there isn’t a thing you can do except take care of yourself.

You have to figure out a way to survive,
and we recommend space and distance.
Create as much of it as you can so that their negativity does not
pollute your psyche.

Give yourself kudos for not stooping
to their level. Be graceful about the situation and act like their hurtful
words little spit-balls that a 6-year-old would spew out. In time, you’ll develop a thick skin, and it
won’t affect you as much.

Consult with other colleagues or
managers when you need help as the first line of defense. When there is no way around dealing with
them, be polite and respectful but get straight to the point so that your
meeting is as brief and professional as possible.

Take
advantage of modern technology.

Here’s another easy way to create
space and distance: instead of having face-to-face interactions, try to
communicate electronically whenever it is useful and appropriate. It’s much easier to brush off sarcastic
comments when they’re online, and if you get heated, you have time to pull
yourself together before engaging in any drama.

If they send several unpleasant
emails—don’t reply to them immediately. Get yourself together, compose a short
and polite reply to that email. Try not to get into the vicious cycle where you
keep getting angry and offended by everything they say.

Know the situation and the jerk you’re dealing with.

Take a moment, sit down and do a
thorough analysis, ask yourself;

How much power or control do I have over the
situation?

How much am I suffering? How can I look at this differently for my
sanity?

If you have a boss who is insulting
you, dumping on you, and being disrespectful, try not to retaliate or fuel
their anger. Sometimes, when you look
closely at the situation you find yourself in, you realize your boss is criticizing you
because the job is beyond anyone’s control, or it’s entirely a broken system. Instead, approach them when they’re calm and
express your irritation as polite as you can.

If you believe that won’t work, bypass
him and go to their superior or directly to Human Resources to file a
complaint. It may be better to bond
together with your coworkers experiencing the same problem, form a coalition,
and try expressing how toxic and hostile the workplace has become a group. This
way, it would become difficult to push people around or single out one person.

When you document and complain as a
collective group, you’re more likely to get the problem sorted out than when
you try to do it alone. Don’t rush, get your facts right, get concrete proof,
and make sure there’s no dissent among you. Then present your evidence to an
impartial person in authority.

Don’t
quit in rage

Don’t hesitate to resign if you no
longer feel safe at your workplace, or you’re being demeaned and insulted constantly.
But don’t make any decisions in rage. Plan a departure so that you can leave
the company on the best terms possible, you never know when you may need to use
them as a reference, and if you storm out, you’ve burned that bridge.

Consider your options and make a plan.
If you’re unsure how to come up with a sound
strategy, consider working with a career
coach.
They are skilled at helping you clarify your goals and putting into
action a plan that brings results. One
of the most grueling experiences in life is the job-search, and having the
extra support of a professional will help you stay focused and sane through
this tedious process.

It can be so bad that you get
depressed the moment you realize after a wonderful weekend that you have to
resume work on Monday. The thought of sharing the same building with such a
boss is extremely depressing and can ruin your mood for the rest of the day, or
the whole week. You even get the feeling, your boss hates being at work just as
much as you do.

You know the one: No matter what you
do, it’s never right or enough. You could be on your own, doing your own thing,
or you could be asked to perform a task. You give it your best shot, but all
you get is a barrage of compalints and criticism at the end of the day. It
doesn’t matter what industry you are working in, jerk bosses can be anywhere.

Then theres the one who probably has
no life of his own and expects you to stay after hours to do things that could
easily have been done during the workday or are entirely above and beyond your
job description AND pay grade!

To put things in perspective, Robert
I. Sutton provided a robust definition of who a jerk boss is. He is quite
knowledgeable in this field as he’s a Stanford University professor and New
York Times best-selling author of The No-A$$-hole Rule. He is referring to the manager who leaves you feeling de-energized, disrespected
and demeaned.

In a perfect world, you have a great
boss and love going to work. If you don’t,
you might want to consider a career change. In the meantime, when you have no other
option than to go to your hellish job so you can survive and pay the bills
consider these career tips
to make it bearable.