Halloween is the time of make believe, when children (and sometimes adults) dress up as something they are not and pretend. It’s generally a happy time, but if you’re the Dallas Cowboys masquerading as a playoff team, take note to avoid Detroit in October: there are goblins and ghosts at Ford Field, enough to make the most ardent Dallas fan run for cover in Dearborn.

Two seasons ago, as you may recall from this column, Tony Romo had a horror movie of a game, throwing three interceptions, including two that were returned for touchdowns as Dallas squandered a 27-3 lead. That loss eventually cost the 8-8 Cowboys the NFC East title.

Sunday Romo’s trick-or-treat bag was mixed (14-for-30, but three touchdown passes), but the Dallas defense played the part of Boris Karloff in a second-half Frankensteinian meltdown, a 31-30 interconference loss.

Failing to find an answer to stop Calvin Johnson, Dallas allowed the Lions nonpareil to put up 329 yards receiving, the second-most in an NFL game ever, only seven yards fewer than the Rams’ Flipper Anderson registered against the Saints in a game in 1989.
How does a Monte Kiffin-based defense allow over 600 yards total offense? How does a defense that has invested so much money and picks in its secondary get roasted for 24 fourth-quarter points and fail to adjust to Megatron’s career performance?

To quote an exasperated Cowboys fan who called me moments after this Freddie Krueger-like horror, it begins with the prevent defense, which as he so eloquently stated ‘’doesn’t prevent nuthin’.’’ If putting even less pressure on a quarterback who was sacked only once in 49 dropbacks seems crazy to you, you’re not alone.

But this game wasn’t lost by one person or one scheme, but rather untimely errors, which seem to be Dallas’ pattern in recent seasons.

For example, the Dallas offensive line had a big part in this missed opportunity that saw Dallas drop to 4-4, still in first place, but very much within range of the revitalized Giants (2-6). With star back Demarco Murray injured, Dallas still ran the ball 26 times, but notched only 62 yards, a sorry 2.4 yards per carry average (with a best of only nine yards). That’s a lot of poor blocking.

And that wasn’t the worst of it. With an opportunity to run out the clock in the final minute, tackle Tyron Smith was called for a clear holding penalty that stopped the clock and saved the Lions 30 seconds of clock time. Not surprisingly, the Lions won the game on a touchdown with 12 seconds left.

Incredibly, Dallas lost a game in which it won the turnover battle 4-0, which exhausts every Halloween-based metaphor this writer can muster and with games still looming against the pass-happy Saints and Packers puts the Cowboys in a very unsavory position heading into November.

WORST GAME EVER?: It’s been a week, but it’s almost inconceivable how poorly Vikings quarterback Josh Freeman played last Monday against the Giants. In fact, we have been able to dig up some ignominious stats that even the fine folks at Elias and espn.com missed in making the case that Freeman’s performance was among the worst ever turned in by a starting quarterback in the history of the NFL.

An exaggeration? Consider that since 1960, 218 NFL or AFL quarterbacks have thrown the ball 53 times or more in a game. Freeman (who was 20-for-53) achieved the unthinkable, becoming the first quarterback under those circumstances to not lead his team to at least one point offensively (remember that Minnesota’s only points were achieved on special teams).

More bad distinctions: Freeman was one of just 19 passers of that 218 to not throw at least one touchdown pass. Of those 19, he registered the fewest passing yards (190) and of all 218, only two had fewer yards. His yards per attempt? Fourth-worst of the 218.

Given that Freeman was going against one of the league’s worst pass rushes, one of the worst overall defenses, a winless team and was doing so on a night where weather was not a negative factor in any way, Freeman’s effort (even considering that it was his first game with the team, learning a new offense) defies belief.

ODDS AND ENDS: As bad as the Vikings and Bucs are, it’s difficult to imagine a worse squad than the Jaguars, who are not only 0-8, but have been outscored 101-35 over the last three weeks. The Jags entered Sunday’s 42-10 thumping in London at the hands of the 49ers last in both rushing categories (offensive and defensive), last in point differential by a wide margin and have scored 10 points or fewer five times. They are the odds-on favorite to land Louisville’s Teddy Bridgewater as the top pick in the 2014 NFL Draft in May, but will have to discover a way to protect him fast, though incredibly San Francisco defenders failed to sack Chad Henne once in 45 attempts yesterday ... Can the Chiefs go undefeated? In a word, no. For the second straight week they defeated a below-average team by a narrow margin and Alex Smith’s inability to get rid of the ball quicker (six sacks) would appear to be a fatal flaw. But is there a more intriguing set of showdowns this year than their two pending showdowns with the Broncos, Nov. 17 and Dec. 1?