My Story: Why Does The Society Force Us To Fall In Their Standards Of ‘Coolness’?

“There’s something which has been bothering me for months now. In most social groups, I am either uninvited or made fun of.

I am a girl who neither drinks and nor smokes.

There are many people who think I am ‘abnormal’ because I don’t fall into their category of normalcy, defined by drinking and smoking. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t consider them a sin, but personally, I don’t prefer doing either.

Sadly, my preference is becoming my hindrance these days.

I find it difficult to make new friends as a lot of people believe that the best way to approach someone is by asking them for drinks. I also find it difficult to keep up with my existing friends as they think don’t fit in their group these days.

I fail to understand why drinking is becoming the marker of social acceptability? Why is it so hard to accept that there are people who don’t drink and maybe won’t ever

Let me share an instance:

When I first came to Delhi, I was asked by a bunch of people – “you drink?”. Obviously I said – “no”, and as a result I was not invited to my first party in Delhi.

Next time when the same question was asked by a different set of people, my answer was, “Oh yes, I do, and a LOT!” My mission was accomplished – I got invited to the party.

But this is when the tough part started. Since I had said yes, I had to drink. But how could I when I don’t like it? And ended up becoming a party spoiler.

It’s been a long time since, but it’s becoming very difficult for me to survive every day.

My college is over, masters is over, and now job. But why am I still being judged by my drinking habits?

If you don’t drink, you are not cool enough, if you drink a lot, you not don’t have values. People come to me and say, “you know alcohol is not bad, have you seen Americans, they drink beer instead of water.” Some say that I don’t drink because I can’t get that ‘sanskaar’ thing out of my head. Had that been the case, I would not have not coloured my hair green, or worn a bikini, or stepped out of my house late at night.

According to some people I can never be a good girlfriend/wife because my better half won’t have a company while he drinks. I have queries coming up like, ‘what is the pickup line for a person who doesn’t drink?’, ‘I have to meet my mother-in-law, how should I pretend that I am averse to drinking?’, ‘how do you overcome a breakup?’, ‘oh it would be so great for a person who takes you on a date, he can save so much money which otherwise would have been spent on drinking’ , ‘you are so uncool!’

Why is coolness dependent on the number of pegs you take down? Can a person not be cool enough in his/her own skin? A drink in his/her hand is the only proof of their ‘coolness’?

I have seen so many people who have started drinking just to fit themselves in “THE” group and I have also seen people loosing their lives because of excessive drinking.

Why can’t a person’s choice be respected? Why does the society force us to fall in their standards of coolness? Is it too difficult to fathom that there are people who don’t drink and they are ‘normal’ like anybody else?

Peer pressure is one of the leading reasons for teenage depression and suicides. It is my earnest request to every person to not judge another on the basis of their personal choice.”

Story By – Meghana

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Partner Story

An Army Colonel Is Changing Lives Of Thousand Of People From North-East Using White Bullets

Retiring after spending 32 years in the Indian Army, Col Chris Rego is helping change the destinies of hundreds of children in conflict-affected North East India through his “White Bullets” initiative. With this initiative, he hopes to bring peace and progress to communities across North East India.

Luminouswanted to bring out the Colonel’s story to the world to inspire and motivate others as it believes that education is a strong tool to empower women. It is supporting Col Rego’s cause through an initiative called #Luminaries – the brave people who stand up for causes like girl child education and make a difference in the society.

Col Rego’s journey started over a decade ago in Manipur when a tribal woman knocked on his door pleading for support for her daughter’s education. Touched by the woman’s story, Col Rego and his wife delved into their savings and arranged for the money for the girl’s education. Two years down the line, the woman returned, this time with a small pumpkin and a shawl that she had knitted, and all the money she had borrowed. Moved and realizing that their money could make lives rather than earn paltry interest, Col and Mrs. Rego embarked on a journey to arrange for sponsorship of many more underprivileged children.

Retiring from the Army, Col Rego took over as CEO of Sunbird Trust, a not-for-profit organization which he founded in 2014. The Trust now sponsor over 1,000 children in 21 locations acrossNorth East India. The centre of Sunbird Trust’s activities is at beautiful Ijeirong, Manipur.

Recognizing Col Chris’s immense work, Luminousacknowledged him as their first Luminary. Through this, they hope to bring more power to his elbow in the notable work he is doing. The Luminousteam travelled to remote Ijeirong village and installed solar products. These solar products will help in providing power to the entire campus 24/7 for the very first time.

The Logical Indian salutes Col Christopher Rego for his untiring efforts and leadership. His efforts are already having a cascading effect on people from across India joining the “White Bullets” endeavour. Quite amazingly, education, in itself so empowering, is merely a means to PEACE. We hope the path illuminated by #Luminary Col Rego and his Sunbird Trust team acts as a beacon for others to follow.

If you too have stories of change, share them with us. And if you want to connect with Colonel Rego, click here.