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Disability: TWO YEARS

Hi love. I hope you all are well. Can you believe it's already 1 December?!

September 7th. Surgery Date.

It has been officially two years since I came home from London. Sometimes it feels like two months where and sometimes it feels like 20 years. Either way I looked back at the last two years and have to shake my head in amazement and frustration and in some ways also gratitude. The crazy part is so when I came home December 1, 2014 the doctors said that I had post viral fatigue and will be back to school by the end of January 2015. Look at us two years later and I am gone in circles with doctors, different diagnoses, surgery, and let's not forget about the constant pain and my legs, arms, hands, back, neck, etc. etc.

I really hoped two years ago that by this time I would've finished my schoolwork, started my career, been pain free, and all of this would be a distant distant memory. We have had some progress that I won't deny. For instance, my vision has gotten better where I no longer see blurry lines but actual words on the page. Unfortunately I still cannot Focus on said words. Cannot talk about how annoying Siri can be when dictating what I'm constantly fixing errors I repeated myself 10 times over. It's a wonder that I'm blogging it all LOL.

I have also seen process in my legs. Surgery has been successful in the fact that I don't walk like a drunken sailor anymore. LOL. Sure my walking is still very slow and I had a horrible accident at the airport last week thanks to Dallas Fort Worth airport employees and American Airlines employees. But that is a post for another day.

I didn't mean things supposed to be quite the downer is turning out to be. What's so frustrating is that even though I have a new diagnosis of cervical stenosis and degenerative disk disease, and I had a great surgery with my surgeon Dr. Raymond Hah whom I cannot recommend highly enough, my pain is still through the roof. Just now I've poured myself a glass of water into a plastic cup (because lifting heavy glasses are a no deal) and the pain in my right wrist and hand while carrying the cup to my chair was excruciating. It's almost laughable if it wasn't so painful. And yet here I sit looking at and letter from social Security disability saying that I am fit for work. I guess they think that I can do work that does not require my hands arms or brain etc. etc..

To end this rather dreary post, I would like to just make a shout out to some really amazing friends and family who have shown true colors and loyalty and love during this time:

Mom and dad. It's not still the national adoption month but I don't know what I would do without them. They have really stood by me through all of this and been so very patient even when I am at my worst And grumpiest.

My girlfriends (Misty, Natasha, Laurie, Ashley, Heather) who have made the effort to stay in touch with me even if they are miles away, prayed for me, and even driven numerous miles combined to come see me when I am unable to get to them. They have taught me what true friendship is. At time when I cannot always pursue friends or reach out to to as I bike to do, they have reached out to me countless times. I am literally at the verge of tears because of how grateful I am and how amazed I am they stood by me all this time.

My doctors. God has truly blessed me with some great doctors minus the one bad exception. They have all been so caring, concerned, willing to listen, and eager to help me find Solutions and answers. I will definitely be sharing more about my doctors and future posts.

My prayer Angels. I have had some lovely friends, pastors, strangers even say that they are praying for me and my family. Even people that don't know me have come up to my mom at work with prayers, offerings of wisdom from their experience, and love. When I am at my lowest of days I think of these random acts of kindness and my prayer angels I'm realize how surrounded I am bye love. I am so blessed.

So on the positive note I will wrap up two crazy years of disability, pain, questions, tears, and miracles. Here is to another year. I'm really hoping they God will help me through it as he has before. And to all of you who have stood by me this post is dedicated to you. I don't know what I would do without you guys!!

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