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Melina Greenport specializes in provocative tastes of fiction designed to let your imagination play where her words leave off.
She is currently working on a collection of short stories intent on page-turning, lusty fun.

BLOG LOVE

Pammy Corrigan Gets Her Wish

Town Mayor: Here in Holyrood, Kansas, we’ve never had a Powerball winner before. Not ’til now. First thing I did when I saw the news was call up the Corrigans. Gary and I go way back. I asked if he’d be investing some of that capital in the city. We’re talking. We’ve got some ideas.

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Bakery owner: Oh I remember that day well! Pammy Corrigan called me and asked me how many cupcakes I could handle in a single order. Said she wanted to send a treat to every child over at the elementary. Of course, she charged it on her Visa because the big checks hadn’t started coming in yet.

Baker: They don’t send checks. They wire the money.

Bakery owner: Wire, schmire. They know what I mean.

~

Uber driver: Like, I’m the only Uber driver in town. It gets kind of awkward because everybody knows me. So they’ll text me all, “Come pick me up down in Bushton.” And I have to be like, “Dude, use the app.” Everyone wants to bypass the protocol. Eventually Pammy just hired me on a day rate for her shopping trips. She doesn’t ride in my car, though. I drive theirs. They got a sweet XL Denali last month.

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Real Estate agent: Gary and Pamela Corrigan. Yes. I know them. No. I can’t tell you if they have plans to sell.

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Stylist at Gray-B-Gone: First I got a beautiful bouquet of flowers delivered just like it was Valentine’s Day only it wasn’t. It was smack in the middle of April. The note said, “Thank you, dear. Love, Pammy.” And then nothing. She just stopped coming. I heard she gets her hair done by some stranger in Wichita.

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JobMarmot Jobber #1: Yeah, it’s like TaskRabbit only we do jobs instead of tasks. You know, odd errands here and there. I go grocery shopping with Mrs. McMurphy twice a week. She likes to get out. She likes Cherry Fizz and they keep that up on the top shelf so I’m there to make things like that easier for her. The Corrigans? Yeah. I’m not. I shouldn’t really talk about that.

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JobMarmot Jobber #2: OMG. So the assignment read, I kid you not, “Come clean and bring bubble fluid.” I was like Waaahht? I texted Dana and she was like, OMG, I GOT THE SAME ASSIGNMENT. I go, WTF is bubble fluid? She’s like, you know birthday party hippy shit. I’m still clueless. She’s goes, YOU BLOW THEM. Oh! Bubbles! Turns out eight of us got called to the Corrigans’ new house that day.

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JobMarmot Jobber #3: The Bubble incident? Look. I wasn’t going to turn down that kind of cash.

JobMarmot Jobber #2: I wasn’t either! I was like, when can we come back? Easiest money I ever earned.

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Pammy’s Maid of Honor: I haven’t seen Pammy socially in years. We’re polite when we run into each other. Come to think of it, we blew bubbles at their wedding. Instead of throwing rice. Rice kills the birds somehow. I don’t really know how.

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JobMarmot Jobber #2: OMG, it was unhinged! So, like, we show up. First Mr. Corrigan offers us champagne. We’re all in the–what’s it called? The foyer. I’d never been in their new place before. Part of me wanted to go, “Hey Gary, what’s up?” But it’s not like that anymore.

JobMarmot Jobber #3: Not even close.

JobMarmot Jobber #2: But we get paid.

JobMarmot Jobber #3: That we do.

JobMarmot Jobber #2: So what happens is, we drink the champagne. Then we have to take off our shoes. And we go into this bedroom.

JobMarmot Jobber #3: The master bedroom.

JobMarmot Jobber #2: Yeah, that. And Gar–Mr. Corrigan has us stand on each side of the bed. Long-short, we end up literally BLINDFOLDED, blowing bubbles. And, like, I hear Pammy–

JobMarmot Jobber #3: Mrs. Corrigan.

JobMarmot Jobber #2: The lady of the house come into the room. So, like, I peek down and tilt my head back–those blind folds were for shit–and they’re all fucking too busy fucking to pay attention to us anyway and I can see EVERYTHING.

JobMarmot Jobber #3: I didn’t look.

JobMarmot Jobber #2: Oh, I so fucking looked. That shit was lit. They’re just like going at it and the bubbles! I’ve never seen so many bubbles in my life.

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melina greenport

Melina Greenport writes provocative tastes of fiction designed to let your imagination play where her words leave off.
| For mature audiences only; not intended for children.
View all posts by melina greenport