Reno: “I dunno, man. It’s one of the mysteries of the ramble room.”

Originally Published: 4/18/02 . 31 pages

Synopsis Sephiroth is determined to make Lark break her vow! Will he be successful?

Ramble Milestones Nothing this time.

The beginning is a poke at myself for there being a lapse between rambles. This was the beginning of when I started getting busy with other things and stopped writing all the time. Of course, the worst lapses were yet to come. This was also written when I was having problems with my computer and had to use my first laptop instead. But I like this ramble anyway, it’s always fun to watch Sephiroth scheme. Oh, and enjoy your small amount of screen time while it lasts, Tidus and Wakka.

(meanwhile, in loser land, heidegger is playing the card game ‘war’ with stinky. Kefka is standing on his head, Seymour is reading ‘modern bride’ magazine. Scarlet is flipping tv channels with nida. Hojo is taping a big box shut and kuja is simply lounging.)

Heidegger: *slaps down jack* “Gya haa haa! Jack!”

Stinky: *slaps down a queen and snorts*

Heidegger: “Gya haa haa! Loser!” *eats card*

Nida: “You idiot! You’re not supposed to eat the losing card! The winner’s supposed to take it!”

Heidegger: “Our way is yummier! Gya haa haa!”

Scarlet: “There’s nothing on… …Hojo. What are you doing?”

Hojo: *struggling to get down the last of the tape as the box shakes like mad* “Trying…to…keep this thing….contained.” *sighs and wipes brow* “There. That should do it.”

Heidegger: “Gya haa haa! Licky licky!”

Hojo: “No, actually. This is an entirely new creation.”

Scarlet: “…Okay then. What is KEFKA doing?”

Kefka: “Letting the blood rush to my head! Hehehehehe!”

Kuja: “Good. Maybe he’ll die.” *sees Seymour* “Seymour, what on earth are you doing? Don’t kid yourself. I’ll be a bride before you even get a boyfriend.”

Seymour: *glares at him* “I’ve never seen YOU with a boyfriend.”

Hojo: *goes to speak*

Seymour: “Hojo, certainly, does not count.”

Kuja: “Shows what you know. As a matter of fact, I DO have a boyfriend.”

Scarlet: “Really?”

Hojo: “Are you joking?”

Kuja: “I most certainly am not. In fact, he’s coming to visit today.”

Hojo: *whimpers*

Scarlet: *dumbfounded* “You mean to say you’ve been here for over a year without telling us you had a boyfriend?”

Kuja: “No one asked.”

Seymour: “But you’ve been cheating on him with Hojo.”

Kuja: “No. I’ve been earning a living.”

Scarlet: “And they call ME the whore.”

Seymour: “I bet your boyfriend is ugly like you are.”

Kuja: “Do you honestly think I’D be seen with anyone ugly?”

Heidegger: “Gya haa haa! That’s why he avoids me like the plague!”

Scarlet: “So how did you and this mystery guy meet, Kuja?”

Seymour: “Probably in a plastic surgeon’s office.”

Kuja: “NO. I met him at the mall. We both reached for the last bottle of country apple shower gel and it was lust at first sight.”

Nida: “Who got the bottle?”

Kuja: “I did, of course.”

Heidegger: “Gya haa haa! Apples are yummy!”

Stinky: *agreeing snort*

Kefka: “I prefer deer liver myself! Hehehehe!”

Scarlet: “…Right. So when’s boy wonder gonna be here, Kuja?”

(there’s a knock at the door.)

Kuja: “I’m not sure.”

Hojo: “…There was just a knock at the door.”

Nida: “There was?”

Hojo: “Yes! Won’t you people ever learn?”

Nida: “I thought it was a woodpecker!”

Kuja: “Ooh… Maybe that’s Bloodrose.”

Hojo: “Uh… On second thought, maybe it WAS a woodpecker.”

Kuja: *blink blink* “Pardon?”

Hojo: *nervous laughter* “I think Nida was right, my dear. It was just a woodpecker. If we ignore it, it’ll go away.”

Irvine: “Oh man. He sucks, and yet he STILL has a chick! Why are they together?”

Reno: “I dunno, man. It’s one of the mysteries of the ramble room.”

Irvine: “You better find me a chick soon, man, or I’m bound to have bad sex for the rest of my life!”

Reno: “Relax, man. He got that off one of those internet chain letters.”

Irvine: “I don’t know, man… I think some of that stuff is true. There was this one where they wanted me to think of a number, and then they asked me all these questions, and then they guessed the number I was thinking of.”

Reno: “Man…it’s not true. Hell, if you believed everything you read online I bet you’d think that I was some kind of drunken bum!”

Irvine: “Haha, you’re right, man.”

(moving along, they see bloodrose and kuja coming in.)

Reno: “Hey, Kuja! What are you doing here?”

Kuja: “I’m friends with Tseng, remember?”

Reno: “Oh…right… Well then. Who’s your friend?”

Kuja: “This is my boyfriend, Bloodrose.”

Bloodrose: “Nice to meet you.”

Reno: “Nice to meet you too, man! You’re here just in time for Sex Day!”

This is it. Seriously.

These are my rambles. I don't write them anymore. They were insane and crazy fun to write, but they are over.
However.
I can't seem to take them off the internet. So here they rest, for the long foreseeable future, for anyone who still might get a chuckle out of them.

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