This video was made on a day when I was truly unsure of myself and what I was doing and why any of it mattered? I was really afraid of putting the video together because I know a lot of you watch Self Love Saturday for guidance and inspiration, but I thought it was important to also acknowledge the moments of discomfort in your life and how you feel in those times. The discomfort can be used as inspiration as well, it’s difficult to find it in the moment but trust me, it’s there. Check out my video below.

This video is for the liars. For anyone who is wearing a mask, who is tired from having to keep up an image of yourself that isn’t accurate. Today’s video is my story on the little lies I used to tell myself.

Creativity! If you don’t have it already, you need an outlet, you need a release and something that is apart of your life that is purposeful, challenging and creative. Adding creativity, talking about creative endeavors, putting an expectation and a plan on your life or day, no matter how small or big is such an important part of Self love.

I am blessed to be a full time creative but I’ve seen the importance of having a creative outlet has been for my friends who aren’t like me, so again, my message is simple, be creative, find something creative for yourself!

I love lipstick! I grew up with the influence of it from my Mom and my Grandma and it has become a staple part of my beauty routine. I often get asked what color I’m wearing or where I got it so I decided to do a video featuring Maybelline Lipstick and some of my favorite colors and a little piece of My Lipstick (Love) Story! Check out the video below and let me know, why do you love lipstick?

Today’s video is inspired by a few experiences I had in late December/early January. I’m a natural helper and a “fixer”. I have a slight Olivia Pope complex and will gladly take over your problems in hopes of solving every single one. This is not right, it’s very unhealthy and is apart of my regular self sabotage of taking on others problems as if they are my own and feeling all of the pressure and stress along with it. Basically being one of those people who says, “I don’t like drama” but I’m all up in the mix. Taking on all of their bags, and getting caught up in the drama because now I’m in the position of “savior”. I’m learning that just because I like to help that doesn’t mean the kind of help I’m giving is useful or even needed.

Apart of Learning self care means knowing when to admit that what you’re doing is not right, I can look past my own ego and say, though I want to help, what I can offer is not helping you because you’re not growing or learning but rather just becoming dependent on me. As a friend I want to help you and I want to remain sane so lets talk about the right options for giving you support. Check out my video below and let me know if you’ve been in a similar position.

How often do you check in with yourself? How often do you ask yourself if you’re okay? Self examination is a critical part of “Self love” and regularly having a conversation, whether its spoken with a friend, in your head, out loud or written down about how you’re feeling, what you need, what you want and if you’re feeling happy and grateful is important. This video is all about about “the check in” check it out below and as well, catch up on a couple other videos I released this week from my youtube channel.

A couple videos ago, I asked you guys to leave me a comment with some of your video ideas or suggestions that you’d like to see from me and one comment was from RochelleSays asking for “the important lessons I learned in my 20’s.” I thought this was a great suggestion! I loved my 20’s, I’ve grown so much in the last decade and learnt a lot of valuable lessons, there was too many to put in one video but here it is, just some of the most important lessons that I learned in my 20’s.

Trust Yourself: It took me a long time to learn to trust my voice and my ideas and my plans. The more I learned to trust myself, the more my life started to come together.

Not All Friendships Are Forever: I started my 20’s with close friendships that didn’t last me the entire decade, and the guilt and the anger took a toll on me. I’m not sure why I put this expectation on myself that these friends were supposed to be with me forever, but as I evolved I realized some friends are only meant to last one season and THAT’S OKAY. Enjoy the lessons, the jokes and good times with them and if it doesn’t go any further than that, you’re not a bad person, you’re just growing up.

You Can’t Eat Everything: It took me awhile to realize that I was no longer a teenager, in the early half of my 20’s I was barely working out and just eating whatever I wanted and I gained a lot of weight. By time I was 25 I felt like I looked completely different and it was simply because I wasn’t taking care of myself. I had to take the time to learn my body, understand my habits and start to respect the body that I was in.

You Control Your Beauty: Within my 20’s I learned (and I’m still learning) that my “beauty” was in my hands. Yes there was your God given genetics that played a hand too, but it wasn’t as big as I thought it was, because I realized that when I started to treat myself right, with healthy food, meditation, prayer and exercise than I felt better. And feeling better made my naturally look better and that made me want to dress better and it went on and on. And this became “the beauty” that people began to see and react to. I was in control of my beauty.

What Do You Want?: One day I asked myself this question, like seriously, WHAT DID I WANT? And I wrote it out, I brainstormed, I dreamed and I took the time to let it really come together and once I finally had it all written out, I looked at it clearly and then I began the process of executing.

Being You Is Enough: This was hands down the most important lesson I learnt within my 20’s. I took the leap of faith on MYSELF. I started to believe in me, and accept myself for who I am and just be 100% me all the time. Sometimes were tough but in the end, I felt better and life seemed to work out better the more I was myself.

Tell me in the comments below what lessons you’ve learnt so far in your 20’s or if you’re out of your 20’s what lessons did you learn?

Hopefully by now you have had a chance to check out my 3 part docu-series that I released earlier in the week, but if not, no fears, the videos are below! 😉 I gotchu boo! Today’s #SelfLoveSaturday video is all about why I did this project, why I chose the ladies I chose and why self love is important to me. Watch the video below and in the comments let me know, “what is your magic?” and “when did you find trust?”

I wanted to make a documentary that focused on Self Love and the beauty of Black Women, below you’ll find A 3 part series, “Finding Magic” “Finding Joy” & “Finding Trust”. I was privileged to have open honest and inspirational conversations with writers, singers, actors, artists and cool girls who shared their experiences with me and I am so happy with how it turned out. Thanks for the love it’s already received and please let the questions sit with you and let me know? What’s your magic? What’s your biggest fear and when did you find trust for yourself?

This post is going up late because I was speaking on a panel for The Toronto Black Film Festival on “How to Make A Web Series” It was a great panel with a packed room and it gave me a good boost. Literally last night I was feeling a little doubtful and confused and today I was reminded that I’ve done a lot of work and still have more to go. I’m grateful.

Anyway today’s video goes with my thoughts for today and I ask a simple question? What Do You Need To Succeed? Once you think about it, then ask yourself if any of this stuff currently in your life? The environment? The people? Whatever it is, whatever you need, start today.