#December2014

I know, I know. You think XBL, you think slurs and adolescence. I get it. But still — imagine being the motherfucker who conceived and implemented the gaming juggernaut online service bonanza (at least last generation)? Boyd Multerer is that dude. And he’s outtie-5000 from Microsoft.

Oh fuck! Oh shit! We got ourselves another Zero Cool on our hands. A five year-old recently found a way to circumvent XBOX Live’s security, rigging a way around the need for a password. Well done, little man. No come over here, ’cause I got some porn sites I need you to crack.

This doesn’t surprise anyone, right? That the NSA has spies in World of Warcraft, Xbox Live, and other gaming conduits? I mean, I don’t know how much creepy shit is lurking within the corridors of Iron Forge, but it wouldn’t surprise me if it served as a meeting place for unsavory characters.

Microsoft is dropping their policy of charging game developers for patches, and other updates. Pretty neat. The cost apparently was significant, and if I recall correctly drove away indie studios from patching their games and the such. Was it Fez that gave up being patched? I think? Anyways — neat.

Things that none of us using XBL have ever said: man, I wish that the service had original content. Yet another mind-numbing romantic comedy or the sort. Executives, however, are ever blind to what we actually want.

I don’t usually admit this, but what Microsoft requires you to pay for on Xbox Live is bullshit. Feel a bit guilty in intimating that. It’s double-bullshit now that they have horrible (albeit expected) ads across the dashboard. If the LinkedIn profile of some Microsoft Money Wizard is correct, we ain’t seen nothing yet.

No one really gives a fuck about the Fable franchise besides Peter Molyneux. Don’t lie. You don’t. You don’t. It’s tepid at best. Filler at its least threatening. However in a week of leaks, Xbox.com has let forth info on Fable: Heroes early. First impressions? It’s an arcadey co-op brawler. It looks awesome.

During the wee hours of Tuesdays morning, a dude was engaged in some quality Xbox-ing when his home was broken into. It was dire circumstances! However, thanks to the quality community of Xbox Live (lol right?), the police were notified.

Lucky motherfuckers who got into the Xbox Live Dashboard preview have managed to lay inter-paws on the Mass Effect 3 Private Beta. It’s glitchy and clearly not ready for public consumption. But more than that, it’s got a pretty insipid way of delineating play style.