The Rather Creepy, Yet Strangely Educational, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Magic Booger

Scruffy is a Border Terrier. His coat is brown with a few dark patches on his ears and the tip of his tail. Mittens is a medium sized, black with white feet American Shorthair cat. They have been together since they were 10 weeks old. They ran away from home when they were 6 months old. They are very good friends who always look out for one another. Both are male and neutered.

Scruffy and Mittens are not quite normal. In fact, they aren’t very normal at all, which is part of why they tend to avoid humans. To start with, they are as smart as the average human. Actually, they are probably smarter than the average human. Additionally, they have incredible regenerative powers…so much so that a couple of years ago, when Mittens lost her tail to a pitbull, it grew back in a mere two weeks. This also explains why, at age 11, both of them are still as active and healthy as much younger animals.

The strangest thing about Mittens & Scruffy is that, every once in awhile they transform into 30 foot tall ancient Native American guardian spirits, who then destroy people and places responsible for polluting the environment. This happens maybe three times a year and only if they are actually near the area being polluted. Any humans that survive can usually count on being insane for a few years. The US government has videotape of several of the attacks, but oddly, whatever is doing the destroying and killing does not show up clearly on camera.

Scruffy & Mittens enjoy traveling and have been to all 50 states, all the Canadian provinces and all of the Mexican states. When last seen, they were heading towards Central America.

The Doclopedia #46

Our next canine/feline pair weren’t always so quadrapedal.

Dogs & Cats Living Together: Alphonse & Gaston

On March 12th, 2008, an experiment at the top secret Area 54 research facility went horrible wrong. The experiment was supposed to allow a human to control an animal via mind power alone. Instead, it left the minds of Dr. Chandra Bannerjee and Dr. Gregg Emerson trapped in the bodies of Alphonse (an Irish Wolfhound) and Gaston (a Maine Coon cat). Luckily, they were able to escape before they were put into cages. Unluckily,that made them both the object of a government Locate and Destroy mission of the highest level.

So far, Alphonse & Gaston have eluded their pursuers, but how much longer that can go on is anybody’s guess. They have at times stayed hidden for weeks, but the Feds always seem to find them. Gaston thinks they are using a drug enhanced psychic to hunt them. He’s partially right, except that they are using two psychics. Soon, they plan on setting something a bit more dangerous on the trail.

Since their original bodies were destroyed in the accident, they are probably stuck in their present bodies unless they can figure out a way to get into new human bodies. With this in mind, they are working their way across the U.S. so that they can stow away on a ship heading to the island nation of Al Amarja. See, they’ve heard rumors that science there might have what they need. How they’ll manage once they get there is anyone’s guess.