Is this a spider thread? I have an awesome spider story. You may have read it in another spider thread!

I was smoking and reading a book on the back porch late one night when I lived with my mom and it was well after midnight. I felt something brush my cheek and just wiped it away and didn't think anything of it. A few moments later it was back and I brushed again. After the third time I was getting suspicious, so I looked up to my left there, slowly falling towards me like like they're Easy Company and the rest of the 101st airborne parachuting into France, is a large cloud of black widow babies falling at me. I was pretty freaked out for the rest of the night and would randomly start brushing myself furiously when I felt anything.

/other than that I love spiders, they kill real bugs so I don't have to//csb

Spider beard...I read this and thought "WTF? Is this like a bee beard? Is this a case where a boy spider and another boy spider love each other very, very much and one has a female mate solely for keeping up appearances?"

But no, just a guy with a very waxed beard that looks spidery.

I declare this spider thread and hope to see some jumping spiders, damnit :D

/actually saw the first black widow of the season today...wouldn't have minded except she was right by the door to get in, so she had to go//My spider rules: Brown recluse spiders get to die in a fire. Black widows are tolerated as long as they are far away from human habitation (i.e. can't walk in with us--backyards are OK, if it's not where humans will stick their hands in a web by accident) and are not welcome on toilet seats. Other spiders are welcome outside but not inside (due to SO having an allergy to spider venom--were it not for this, they'd be allowed inside within reason)--they eat the bugs I really don't want indoors, and we do get the occasional orb-weaver who makes the occasional gift of Outdoor Spider Art Best Appreciated In Mornings. Tiny adorable Tachikoma-esque jumping spiders are fully welcome and overtly encouraged because hey, Nature's tiny Tachikomas :D

Sprag:Thanks for the obligatory pic of the infamous 'spider clock' image. I expect nothing less from fellow farkers.

Now I await the subsequent, follicularly themed image of 'woman scaping' wherein her landing strip is similarly fashioned 'rancid halibut' formation. At least that'd be a valid, applicable visual that co-aligns with the actual encounter/interaction.