Take my word for it: what I am about to say is news. There’s a good book out there about San Francisco called Luminous Airplanes by Paul La Farge. It’s Green Apple Books-recommended at that! Mr. Farge says of his book, “It’s about failure. It’s about hope. It’s about big worlds and little ones. It’s about San Francisco in the 1990s. It’s about dance music. It’s about phrenology. It’s about anthropology in the Southwestern United States. It’s about the search for Atlantis, and the hollow-earth theory. It’s about caves. It’s…” And then from there we might as well take a drive to “Etc. Land.” Or read the book.

On Tuesday, October 18, Robert Finigan, noted Bay Area wine critic died at 68. Finigan earned his bachelor’s degree in English literature and master’s degree in business at Harvard. He went on to San Francisco where he proclaimed with confidence that vintage wine was “trash.” He soon wrote a memoir called Corks and Forks which he called “a fine practical education in what was good and what was not,” and then penned Robert Finigan’s Essentials of Wine, known as a literate guide to wine tasting.

Friday, October 21

Amy Snyder reading // There are perfectly sane people out there who decide each year, “I think I will ride my bike from the West Coast to the East Coast. Off I go!” Those people participate in Race Across America. During this race, those who want to win survive only on power naps. Some hallucinate due to lack of sleep. Neck muscles stop working after one keeps one’s head up for too long. (Mother always said not to be too confident.) Lungs self-destruct. In Hell on Two Wheels, Amy Snyder poses the question you are probably asking by now, which is, “Holy dude, who are these people? And why, why, why, why, why do they do it?” // DETAILS: Friday, October 21, 7pm. Ocean Cyclery. 1935 Ocean Avenue, San Francisco

Saturday, October 22

Ozzy Osbourne book signing // The famous writer, high-ranking member of the literary world, and prince of the historical kingdom known as Darkness has written another book. It’s called Trust Me, I’m Dr. Ozzy: Advice from Rock’s Ultimate Survivor. Ozzy says, “If someone had told me a few years ago that I’d end up writing a book of advice, I’d have punched them in the nose for taking the piss. I mean, unless the advice is how to end up dead or in jail, I’m not exactly qualified.” Turns out, he was. One man wrote him asking if he should cut down on his cocaine use “cause he’d just found out he had high cholesterol.” If you want Ozzy’s autograph, buy the book, come on down, and, take some advice: don’t take his advice. // DETAILS: Saturday, October 22, 3pm. Booksmith. 1644, Haight Street, San Francisco

Monday, October 24

Author reading // Henry Rolls, poet and punk rocker, is on a mission to bum us out. In the best, most necessary way possible. That’s why he’s presenting Occupants, his visual testimony of Bangladesh, Burma, Cambodia, India, Indonesia, Northern Ireland, Saudi Arabia, South Africa, and elsewhere over the last few years. In this book, he shows a destroyed Krygyzstan and describes it as, “the enduring power of Father’s love. Father seems angry.” Under Afghanistan’s photograph, he writes, “Welcome, my friend. You have given me a reason to live and a reason to die. We have been expecting you.” Under Russia’s photograph, he says, “When it comes to your homeland, there is only do or die. OK, well, there is also do or have other priorities. There’s also do or don’t show up. Otherwise, it’s do or die all the way.” It’s scary, touching, darkly funny, and you should check it out. // DETAILS: Monday, October 24, 7pm. Books Inc. 1760 4th Street, Berkeley

Book launch party // Cancel your flight to Japan. It will no longer be necessary. That’s because Haruki Murakami’s 1Q84, once only available in Japan, is coming to the United States. Yes. Score. We win. To celebrate, Green Apple Books is staying open until midnight so you can get the book. There will be tacos. Beer as well. Is this heaven? Probably. // Details: Monday, October 24, 12 midnight. Green Apple Books. 506 Clement Street, San Francisco

Tuesday, October 25

Film screening // There is something about a deaf open mic that makes me think, “Holy dude, that’s awesome! I want to see it!” Then there’s also something about a deaf open mic, and the fact that I don’t speak sign language, that makes me wish there was a movie about an open mic, so I could watch the open mic and understand what’s being said thanks to the glory of subtitles. Thus, Deaf Jam, a documentary about a deaf spoken word artist. Go see it. // Details: Tuesday, October 25, 5:45pm. Koret Auditorium. 100 Larkin Street, San Francisco

Wednesday, October 26

Reading series // 98 Woundsby Justin Chin is about the people out there who actually say things like, “Well, I mean, you know, all gays are different. What I’m saying is: there are some good gays, and there are also, unfortunately, some bad gays.” It’s about the social constructs that have people thinking in this framework. In 98 Wounds, Chin uses improbably linked stories to reconcile “the abject, the outlaw, the ostracized, the misfits, and the cranky contrarians among us.” Sounds fun. // DETAILS: Wednesday, October 26, 7pm. City Lights Bookstore. 261 Columbus Avenue, San Francisco

First Person Singular // Patti Smith, called by the New York Times the Godmother of Punk, deserves some celebration. For that reason, First Person Singular is hosting Dancing Barefoot: The Art of Patti Smith. Joshua Raoul, you play the piano. Julia McNeal, you perform selections from her memoir. And then, to quote directly from Pegasus Bookstore’s website, “party follows.” This means, we party. Sing it, Patti Smith: Can’t touch you now, can’t touch you now. Because the night belongs to lovers.” Indeed. // Details: Wednesday, October 26, 7:30pm. Pegasus Books. 1855 Solano Avenue, Berkeley

Thursday, October 27

Grant Writing // The young artist sits, cross legged in her apartment, living on creativity. The world outside? To that, the young artist pumps her fist, and says, “I know of no such world! Who’s he? I AM ARTIST.” Except not really. Artists are practical in some ways, because they must be. For instance, if they want to get funding, they’re going to have to know how to step back from their novel for a second and write a grant. The Artist’s Guide to Grant Writingby Gigi Rosenberg is one such tool, and coming down to ask questions and hear Rosenberg speak is another. // DETAILS: Thursday, October 27, 2pm – 4pm. Foundation Center. 312 Sutter Street, 2nd Floor, San Francisco