If I’ve learned anything about myself in sixty-one years it’s that I do my best thinking outside. Perhaps that’s why I had so many problems when I lived in the city. Perhaps that’s why I often felt confused and conflicted- not enough time spent outside. Or perhaps I’ve just needed sixty-one years to even care about how I think. I spent, or I might say wasted, most of the first thirty something years of my life caring about how I looked. It wasn’t until I turned forty, moved to Oklahoma, went back to college, and changed careers that my thoughts about my appearance began to change. I suppose some of that is just the “natural order of things”. Any woman over thirty begins to think about how her body is changing and how she needs to respond.

I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that I don’t care how I look. I do comb my hair and try to dress discreetly. Once in a while I even polish my nails! But I don’t wear makeup or whiten my teeth or color my hair. I know I’m wrinkled and fat and imperfect in a dozen ways. I suppose the only imperfection I will admit to consciously concealing is my ugly feet. And I predict that at some time in the near future comfort will win out and I won’t even care about them anymore.

What has changed in the past thirty years is that I no longer strive for some unattainable level of “perfection” or compare myself to other people or let my concerns about my appearance keep me from living my life to the fullest. I recall so many occasions when I didn’t go somewhere or didn’t do something because I didn’t have the right clothes or didn’t think I looked as good as the other people who would be participating. Or I went anyway and then spent most of the time comparing myself unfavorably to everyone else. What a waste of time and energy!

I’ve gained more confidence in my natural self and my true purpose by being outside in the garden and carefully observing nature. Flowers aren’t perfect and they aren’t exact copies of each other. When I’m photographing them I often find the most interesting are the ones that have imperfect petals or unusual coloring. Animals go about their daily lives despite imperfections and injured bodies. One of the rabbits that visits our yard has a split ear. One of the butterflies I admire has a torn wing. There are daily reminders all around me that life is about the things we do, not how we look doing them.

I’ve also gained more confidence by improving my mind and expanding my understanding of people. People might make quick assumptions about you because of your appearance. But first impressions quickly fall by the wayside if you aren’t worth knowing. What ultimately binds us to people is their character, personality, and passion for life.

Gary often asks me where I get my ideas for my posts. I suppose I have been thinking about this topic for a week because I have been at home and paying more attention to television ads. So many of them are about “looking good”: You can have whiter teeth! You can have firmer abs! You can have shinier hair! You can have tanned skin! And then more people will love you! That’s the underlying message we are giving our young people. If you use these products and change your appearance and look good enough, people will love you and you will be happy. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist, or even Dr. Phil, to tell you how that works out! Some individuals just don’t know when to quit; once they start down the path to perfection they embrace anything that promises improvement- from starvation diets to bizarre injections to plastic surgery. After a few procedures even their own mother doesn’t recognize them!

Yes, I know that right about now you are making a mental list of all the things you do to improve and enhance your appearance. None of those things are wrong. I have no deep-seated aversion to people who wear makeup or color their hair or dress in the latest styles. I don’t shun people who have had gastric bypass or cosmetic surgery. I simply think we have to examine our motives from time to time and understand why we do those things. We have to be sure we are doing them because we enjoy doing them, not because we feel compelled by societal expectations to do them. We have to understand where the line is drawn between who we are as a loving, caring, thinking creation of God and a pretty product of our genetics. My mother was intelligent, witty, and compassionate, but she was also insecure and often consumed by worry about her appearance. She habitually rose early in the morning to put on her makeup and style her hair before anyone else could see her in her “natural state”. For some reason she couldn’t accept that people loved her for her heart and her mind.

So I leave you this morning with a Bible passage before I head out to the garden.

I Peter 3:3-5

3. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful.

The verses here do not say it is wrong to adorn your body, although I’ve heard that argued. I believe what God says is that adornment is simply NOT the source of our beauty. We might like it, but we don’t need it. Huge, huge difference in perspective.

This morning’s news report featured additional coverage of the ravaged city of Joplin, but with a more positive spin…the story of a young couple’s wedding. Apparently their church and the location for their reception were untouched by the storm; her dress was saved from a damaged alterations shop, her bridesmaid was found unhurt, and the couple wanted to celebrate their good fortune by going forward with the ceremony. While it seemed a bit odd to them at first, coming so soon after such unprecedented devastation, the couple’s family and friends assured them that it was the right thing to do.

That report was followed by a grim reminder that Japan is still struggling to return to normal life and currently faces daunting challenges in attempting to clean up debris.

We know many other areas of our country are struggling with the aftermath of recent storms, floods, and fires.

Today people around the world are remembering our veterans and some are suffering fresh grief over soldiers recently killed in action.

So…is it okay to go ahead with something as joyous as a wedding? If today is your birthday should you celebrate? Is it okay to just be happy because you are NOT a part of any of the tragedies?

When my mother died it was just before Thanksgiving and I wondered how we could possibly be “thankful” without her. Then we had to get through Christmas. Then the New Year. Then a series of family birthdays. But each event was nearly as joyful as it had always been. Of course there were the “wish she was here” moments. But though her absence was felt, her presence remained in those of us she nurtured and loved. And Mother loved holidays and dinners and celebrations! I knew it would have been disrespectful to her memory if we hadn’t celebrated the life she gave us and taught us to cherish.

As I watered my flowers this morning I thought about what it would be like to face life with nothing left except my body, family and friends. It is almost impossible to fathom. I’m sure it would be terrifying! We spend most of our lives accumulating things that bring us comfort, security, and happiness. But I also thought back to the few times in my life when I’ve felt heartbroken and helpless. What got me through tough times was staying connected to friends and family. I learned early in life that “everyone has a story” and if I paid close attention I could learn from the triumphs and tragedies of others. No one goes through life unscathed by hardship or heartache. However, it’s the going on that is important. Life isn’t about what happens to you…it’s about what you do after it happens.

So, is it okay to be happy?

Yes.

I’m thrilled to hear that someone got married in Joplin. A return to the normal events and celebrations of life gives us all hope of a brighter future.

What could be better than the sight of a fresh ripe tomato grown in your own little patch of dirt? Okay, lots of things, but let’s just be excited for a moment anyway. This is the earliest we’ve ever had ripe tomatoes! In past years I’ve been slower to put them out in the garden, and there were a few late freezes this year that I feared would prove I was too eager this year. But here they are and many more are on the verge of joining them at our table! Now I have to be patient for cucumbers, squash, tomatillos, okra, and peppers.

I was lazy yesterday. I did a few minor chores in the yard. I read for a couple of hours. I watched an old movie. I did some laundry. I napped. I worked on my next book. I took a few photos. A great way to end the week!

I almost missed a great photo opportunity! I went out to fill the birdfeeders and didn’t take the camera with me. Buddy was napping in the shade under the live oak tree and as I got closer to him I heard an odd noise. I looked up in the tree branches and there was a squirrel, clearly giving him a piece of her mind for blocking her escape from the tree! I quickly and quietly went into the house, got the camera and some cat food and lured Buddy away from the tree. Then I snapped a couple of shots before realizing the poor creature was truly scared, so I retreated to the patio and she returned to the huge bois d’arc where she usually stays.

I decided yesterday as I did a little weeding and deadheading that I’m not your typical gardener and I do a lot of things that would drive a sane person crazy! I call my gardening style “passionate chaos”. I am truly passionate about gardening and I can’t imagine not being able to watch plants grow. Even when we lived in the city I had pots of plants on the porch, front step, patio, window sill…whatever we had. I am also passionate about color and continuous blooms. I love critters and creatures. I like fragrance and lovely shapes. However, I have gotten very tolerant of weeds and I am no longer physically capable of having the pristine garden some of my friends consider the status quo. I like garden plans, but I seldom plan anything. I just have a “feel” for where something should go, although I admit to being wrong a few times. There is one spot in my garden that I refer to as “the black hole” because nothing will grow there for more than six months. If I tested the soil I might know why!

Aside from the weeds here and there, the real “chaos” in my garden comes from the fact that I love aggressive, invasive plants and I plant things in odd combinations. I won’t import an invasive plant from another area, but our own wildflowers serve me well. They require little water or care and attract insects. I also like to plant veggies in my flower beds! Lettuce, basil, rosemary, and oregano add interesting foliage and make good flower companions. Carrots and dill have pretty blooms and attract insects. I planted okra at the edge of a flowerbed that needs a little summer shade. I planted bush beans in between my daisies that will soon stop blooming. I planted a squash in the middle of a young flower bed that needs some time to mature. By the time I’m eating zucchini the young perennials will have spread a little. Next year they probably won’t tolerate a veggie companion. But this year…why should I waste the space?

So the old grandma is a little crazy! Works for me!

Yesterday was the official start of summer for a lot of folks! This is a long weekend filled with family, friends, and food. Unfortunately the holiday also means traffic, drinking, and fatigue. Just be careful out there!

A walk to the pond is usually relaxing and restoring, except when it’s NOT. Lol Last night as I was going through the gate between the two pastures I kept thinking that I should have brought along my walking stick. My “snake radar” was going crazy because the grass has gotten so tall, and I was feeling a little less than confident. I remember thinking, “I’m either brave or stupid”.

Well the first thing I did was startle three big bullfrogs. I heard one of them croak just as I got to the edge of the pond and then I watched as all of them entered the water. Huge creatures! I hope that I may be able to photograph one this summer. At least I now know their favorite hangout.

I walked slowly along the bank and watched baby fish play in the sunlight. I also kept my eyes on the three or four rocks that I have learned are favorite spots for a turtle sunbath. Sure enough, the last one had two local residents basking in the warm light. But as I snapped off a couple of shots we had an unexpected visitor! He didn’t seem to bother the turtles, but he sure surprised me!

You know I’m not fond of snakes, but my hope was that he was quite content to stay in the water. So I didn’t panic. I just turned back and walked slowly toward home. Not more than five steps later a movement in the water caught my eye and this even larger snake came rushing toward the bank. Well, just for the sake of documenting my story, I took some photos (thank goodness for a telephoto lens), but I was sure thinking about that stick again. And my steps toward home were just a bit faster than usual.

So, next trip down to the pond: I’ll walk softly, but I’ll carry a big stick!

Summer vacation is a glorious gift of time that I can use as I wish. And I promised myself that this summer I would not plan every moment of it like an army sergeant.

So this morning when the rabbits started a little argument outside the office window I went out in my robe and watched them. It was barely light outside so I wasn’t able to take photos of the actual confrontation, but one bunny was the obvious winner after a few excited lunges and jumps and a little face off, and the other returned to the woods.

Then I spent an hour answering emails and editing some photos I took yesterday. I especially love hearing from people who are descendants of Caddo pioneers. It is nice to be able to help them with family research.

I had a bowl of cereal and watched the morning news. I finally found some coconut milk, and although it is enjoyable, I will definitely return to almond milk after this carton is empty.

I ironed Gary’s shirts for the weekend.

I cleaned one of my aquariums.

I went to town and spent an hour planting petunias in one of the flower beds.

I visited with my dad.

I took photos of the wildflowers in front of our buffalo statue.

I took the long way home and checked on some wildflowers near a friend’s house.

I stopped by our cattle guard to watch the new calves and take a few photos.

I ate some crackers and cheese and looked at the morning’s photos. I’m trying some Laughing Cow light garlic and herb cheese spread. Tasty!

I warmed some pulled pork for Gary’s lunch and talked with him before he left for work. Yes, I still cook meat for him.

I read a chapter of “The Lost Symbol”, by Dan Brown. So enjoyable to be able to read again!

I took a thirty-minute nap.

I cleaned the bathroom.

And here we are…mid afternoon. No plans. No pressure. Just several more hours to do whatever I want to do at whatever pace I choose. I will probably do some genealogy research, work in the garden, repair the fence, and take a walk down to the pond before dinner.

I don’t need money or fame. Just give me the gift of time and I’ll think of something to do with it.

Durant has a new library and will celebrate its grand opening tomorrow with pomp and ceremony. However, it has actually been open to the public for a few weeks and I was happy to see a large crowd there yesterday. Despite technology and our progress with electronic readers, there is something satisfying about being in a room filled with real books.

The new library has several interesting features and much more space than the old facility. It has more light and more seating areas. There are lots of sculptures and beautiful artwork. There are many more computers and quiet reading rooms. But of course the most important thing it has is more shelf space for more books!

I brought home five books to keep me company over the next few weeks. I’ve already read six chapters of one and I love the mystery and suspense of it. There is nothing as magical as the world created by a good book!

I’ve written often about my love of books, but what you may not have noticed is that I haven’t read very many during the past year. My eye problems, surgery, and subsequent “floaters” have made reading difficult for me. My corrected vision is good, but often blocked by the cloudiness of a passing floater. I find myself turning my head or re-reading a line to make sure I’ve read it correctly. But I decided recently that a good book is worth the effort. If I can read what I need to read for work and for genealogy, then I owe it to myself to make the same effort for my own entertainment and enlightenment.

Not many photos today. It is difficult to find things to photograph when the wind is blowing at 30mph. I am thankful that at least we are still here and safe. More storms due tonight. Pray that they are mild and do not harm any more towns.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I have been a somewhat reluctant convert to vegetarianism. I happily joined the meatless crowd decades ago and was a vegetarian for a little over a year, but it was more or less just an experiment in alternative lifestyles. At that point in my life I didn’t have any serious health concerns to motivate me. Fast forward to the latter third of my life and I find myself almost forced to seek solutions for my health problems; I think I have found them within the plant world. My cholesterol levels are out of control and the medication I took for years is no longer compatible with my body- too many side effects for too long. My doctor allowed me to try three months of meatless meals in hopes that my diet would lower my numbers, but alas, I seem to be in that small group of people who have a genetic propensity for creating their own cholesterol at impressive levels without the help of meat. So, yes, I’m on a new medication. However, my thinking is that if my body is already creating too much cholesterol, and I’m taking medication to get rid of it, why should I feed it more? That would be totally illogical. Permanent vegetarianism seems the best course of action.

I admit to being a bit lazy and no longer a fan of elaborate cooking. I’ve joked for a long time about not being able to cook, but the truth is that after years and years of cooking for a family I just got tired of it. And what is the point of cooking complicated meals for two people? Simple, fast, and easy has been my cooking style for the past five or six years. A piece of meat, rice or potatoes, vegetable, salad… done deal. Thank goodness I have a husband who is not a picky eater! Tacos or pizza once in a while and a restaurant meal once or twice a month and we were both happy.

With that bit of information it should not come as a shock to anyone that my first attempt at adopting a vegetarian diet was to simply substitute a “fake” meat for the real thing. I tried lots of brands and types and found about three that I like. So I continued with the same basic meal planning and cooking; just cooked in two different pans so Gary could have meat. I’ve also read that many people add more bread or pasta to their vegetarian meals to give them a greater sense of fullness. That fortunately has not been an issue for me. I don’t normally eat a lot of bread and I prefer brown rice over pasta, so I’ve stayed with my usual preferences there.

My eating has evolved over the past few weeks into a diet that I think will carry me through the summer and then I will probably make a few changes in order to have a portable lunch for school. You won’t find me eating sea weed or stocking up on wheat gluten any time soon. I’m not a “save the planet” vegan. Just trying to save me. Not even totally adhering to vegetarianism because I still eat fish once a week. But I have made some changes that I think will benefit my health and also help me to lose weight. Yes, I’ve lost a few pounds in the last month. Hoping that being home and walking more will mean an even greater loss. However, if I never lose another pound I will still continue to eat this way for one very selfish reason: I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER!

So here are a few changes that are becoming permanent components of my new diet:

Oil. I’ve used olive oil sporadically for years. Now it is all I use for my own cooking. I keep two kinds- one for sautéing and one for drizzling on salad.

Butter- Don’t buy, don’t use. Switched to Smart Balance light spread with extra virgin olive oil. I’m not one to use much of this for anything. Gary likes buttered toast.

Cheese- My weakness, so I started buying Kraft fat free cheddar singles. Still looking for other cheese alternatives- if you have some let me know. I need low cholesterol, low salt.

Milk- This was the big switch for me. I watched a news program on milk alternatives and finally tried almond milk. Great on cereal and I really don’t need to “drink” milk, although the almond flavor would be good with cookies.

Eggs- I’ve used Egg Beaters for so long that I don’t even think about the real things. I love scrambled eggs with sautéed spinach and cheese!

Meat- I prefer Morning Star substitutes over any others that I have tried. Only use the burger, chicken patty, and sausage patty fakes. They make a dozen other products but I just don’t need them. I also eat fish, mostly tilapia or salmon. Yesterday we went to a restaurant and I had shrimp. I was more concerned about the extra salt than the seafood!!

Sauces, etc.- I still use a little barbeque sauce, mayo, mustard. I alternate salad dressing with plain olive oil- depends on what is included in the salad. I switched to fat-free sour cream. Nothing is better than peanut butter! I use Simply Jif.

Ice cream- Another weakness, but I have found that what I truly crave is the cold. I make my own vanilla ice cream in the summer because I know exactly what is in it. Also like frozen yogurt- the Whipped kind freezes right in the carton! I like frozen fruit with plain (not vanilla) yogurt. I don’t thaw the fruit first, so it tends to freeze some of the yogurt. The key with these is portion control.

Snacks- I’m supposed to increase my potassium intake, as well as a few other key vitamins and minerals so I’m snacking on dried apricots, walnuts, almonds, prunes, grapes, bananas, and chocolate. Yes, I seldom get through a day without at least one piece of Dove dark! A woman has to draw the “substitute” line somewhere!

Breads and cereals- I prefer oatmeal, Cheerios, and Kashi Cinnamon Harvest. I like the little sandwich rounds and wraps and whole wheat anything. Just have to read the labels for extra salt and fat. There can be so much difference in the salt!!! Love Special K crackers! Yummy! I prefer brown rice or couscous over pretty much all other side dishes.

Everything else is about the veggies, and fruits. I’m getting picky now! I prefer fresh, fresh, fresh and I hope our local produce market delivers their best this year until my garden starts producing. I planted lots of tomatoes, okra, squash, beans, cucumbers, and peppers, plus a little lettuce and chives.

That was probably more than you ever wanted to know about my eating habits, but maybe you read something that appealed to you and will encourage you to make a few changes or try one meatless meal per week.

Hope you are enjoying a great weekend! Please pray for the latest storm victims.

I have often wondered about the origins of some of our foods. My first childhood inquiry was about olives. We picked olives for years, so I knew they could not be plucked from a tree and enjoyed raw, although I once saw a visitor from New York try to do just that. Olives are nasty and bitter fresh from the tree! They can take months to cure properly. So that made me ask “why and how?” Why would you want to make something edible that so obviously wasn’t, and how would you figure out how to do it? Olives were eaten and oil pressed from them in Biblical times! Who had the bright idea to cure them and/or press them in the first place?

My next food investigation was hominy. Why on earth was hominy invented? Why take something as wonderful as corn and turn it into hominy? I looked for information and found that hominy was used by the Indians and is mentioned in traveler’s journals as early as 1620. Probably had something to do with storage and prolonging the “shelf life”, but really…yuck! I’ve always hated hominy. I find the taste and texture gross. But I may just be having flashbacks, because my grandmother made her own hominy.

Yes, some of my least favorite memories of childhood are the “hominy days” at Gran’s house! Hominy literally took at least a day or more to completely process. And it was done using lye- something I knew she also used to make soap! Hated the smell, hated the time and effort it took to make the stuff, then hated the end result.

I thought my memories of the process must have been a childhood exaggeration until I ran across this item in the Caddo Herald yesterday:

Hominy, Lye Method

(from The Caddo Herald, September 22, 1944)

To each quart of shelled corn add this solution: Dissolve two tablespoons concentrated lye in one gallon boiling water. Add corn and boil until hulls loosen (about 30 minutes). Rinse corn through several changes of water to remove lye, then rub vigorously or churn. Remove hulls and black tips. Let stand in fresh water two or three hours, changing the water three or four times. Drain. Cover with boiling water, adding one teaspoon salt to one quart water. Cook for 15 minutes. Pour into hot tempered jars. Process 60 minutes at 10 pounds pressure.

Note that the “shelled corn” step was often my job. Then add up the times listed here. Good grief! You’d have to LOVE hominy to do all of that! And Gran did.