The following are actual letters
that Abigail Van Buren (Dear Abby) herself admitted
she was at a loss to answer:

Dear Abby, A couple of
women moved in across the hall from me. One Is a middle-aged
gym teacher, and the other is a social worker in her
mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together,
and I've never seen a man go into their apartment
or come out. Do you think they could be Lebanese?

Dear Abby, What can I do about all the
sex, nudity, language and violence on my VCR?

Dear Abby, I have a man I never could
trust. He cheats so much I'm not even sure this baby
'm carrying is his.

Dear Abby, I am a twenty-three-year-old
liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years.
It's getting expensive, and I think my boyfriend should
share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough
to discuss money with him.

Dear Abby, I suspected that my husband
had been fooling around, and when confronted him with
the evidence he denied everything and said it would
never happen again.

Dear Abby, Our son writes that he is taking
Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian
home turn against his own?

Dear Abby, I joined the Navy to see the
world. I've seen it. Now, how do I get out?

Dear Abby, My forty-year-old son has been
paying a psychiatrist $50 an hour every week for two-and-a-half
years. He must be crazy.

Dear Abby, I was married to Bill for three
months, and I didn't know he drank until one night
he came home sober.

Dear Abby, Do you think it would be all
right if I gave my doctor a little gift? I tried for
years to get pregnant and couldn't, and he did it.

Dear Abby, My mother is mean and short-tempered.
I think she is going through her mental pause.

Dear Abby, You told some woman whose husband
had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor.
Well, my husband lost all interest in sex years ago
and he is a doctor.