Guy Wins Free Trip To Puerto Rico But Couldn’t Take His Wife, Doesn’t Have Single Second Of Fun

Kevin Blandford, a 34-year-old telecomm worker from Kentucky, won a free trip to Puerto Rico but couldn’t take his wife, so he had the difficult challenge of showing her just how much fun he WASN’T having so that she wouldn’t be upset. That’s a tall order when you’re on a free tropical vacation, but he made it work with this silly image series.

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As he revealed in comments on Reddit, his wife couldn’t join him because of their 7-month-old daughter, whom she was afraid to leave alone and couldn’t take with her. Oh well – it’s not like she missed anything, as he clearly didn’t have any fun at all whatsoever.

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There is a beast with heart of cold stone
that dashes like lightning, shreds flesh from bone. //
Bewitched by this beast, I fell to my knees.
My mouth babbled madness and mumbled soft pleas. //
I stared down the ravenous, gnashing dark maw of a cute cuddly kitten with yarn in its paw