Bridesmaids' dresses should match formality of bride's dress

Ask CarleyCarley Roney

August 4, 2013 12:01 AM

Ask CarleyCarley Roney

August 4, 2013 12:01 AM

Q The bridesmaid dress I like is sleeveless, and my wedding dress is not. All four of my bridesmaids said they would feel comfortable in a sleeveless dress, and the two maids who tried it on really liked it, but I'm concerned that I'm violating some rule of etiquette. How closely do the bridesmaids' dresses have to match the bridal gown?

A Not so much that this should be an issue.

Generally, bridesmaids should wear a dress that matches the formality of the bride's dress -- and that usually means in length. So if your dress is floor-length and the bridesmaids' dresses are, too, you're pretty much fine. You just don't want to put your maids in casual sundresses when you're wearing a big, formal gown, for example.

But as far as the actual dress style and details (neckline, sleeves, etc.), they don't have to match exactly. If your maids like this dress, go for it!

Q I'm working out a wedding budget, and my parents are deceased. Would it be correct wedding etiquette to ask my siblings, who are all 10 or more years older than I am, to help pay for the wedding expenses that are usually paid for by the bride's parents?

A Asking siblings to help pay for your wedding really depends on your relationship with them. It's not appropriate to expect them to stand in financially for your parents. But if they've been like parents to you, some may be willing -- or may even offer -- to help you out.

Broach the subject by talking -- in person -- to the sibling or siblings you're closest to, in order to find out if they are willing or able to help.