• Homeland Security ripped the Secret Service over the latest fence-jumping incident at the White House. There have been forty fence-jumping incidents at the White House over the last five years. Half of them were intruders trying to get in and the other half was President Obama trying to get out.

• Russia announced their long-range bombers will fly on reconnaissance missions from the Arctic Circle to the Caribbean to the Gulf of Mexico. It's one of two things. Russia is either flexing its military muscles or they're so broke they have to make extra money by doing Christmas deliveries for Amazon.

• President Obama vowed to legalize five million illegal aliens if the GOP Congress doesn't pass immigration reform. There's no middle. Congress is considering making Major League Baseball's Opening Day a national holiday, and that's the closest the Republicans will get to immigration reform.

• New York Mayor Bill DeBlasio declared New York Ebola-free Wednesday after the Ebola-infected doctor rode out his three-week quarantine. Dallas was also declared Ebola-free after its exposed patients made it through the three weeks. Apparently the cure for Ebola in America is for the election to be over.

• The National Geological Survey reported a five-point earthquake struck the Southwest Tuesday which was felt up and down the state of Oklahoma. It's a sign of the times that the politicians won't mention. The economy is so bad in California that even the earthquakes are moving back to Oklahoma.

• Joe Biden announced a new U.S. government program at the Inter-American Conference Friday which will grant refugee status to Central American children who walked to the U.S. from Guatemala, El Salvador and Honduras. We must to protect these kids. They represent the future of U.S. soccer.

• Obamacare architect and MIT professor Jonathan Gruber was caught on tape five times braying that voter stupidity was vital to passing Obamacare. Who's stupid now? Every politician who ever had to shake a hand for a vote is looking at Jonathan Gruber and can't believe he's the sperm that won.