Angry adoptee

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The Adoption Camp Saga Continues….

The bad lady from Holt was all smiles when she approached us. I think she must have thought she had a couple of live ones when she saw us. I’m in my early forties and didn’t have a kid with me. I imagine I fit the profile perfectly. She went right after us.

I was pretty nervous and it was very loud and hot in the building so I may not have the sequence of events or exactly who asked what straight, I’m just going do my best as I recall.

Holt Lady asked us if we needed any information.

We said we did.

Holt Lady then asked us if we knew anything about adoption.

We both answered that we did.

She then pointed out the tired looking new adoptive mom sitting in the chairs, and I asked her if she had just adopted. She said yes they had just returned from Korea. She had a little boy, I’m not sure how old, but he was just wearing a diaper and was dozing on adopto mom’s lap. He looked absolutely exhausted and stunned. I felt sorry for him. I tried to engage her in conversation, but she didn’t have much to say.

About this time Holt Lady went into what I assume is the standard spiel they give all PAPs. How long Holt had been in business, how they started in Korea and now offer children from many countries. How ethical they are, blah, blah, blah.

At some point one of asked about medical histories for the children they placed.

Bad Holt Lady started going on about how healthy all the kids were. That they were all checked out at the orphanages and that we didn’t have to worry about alcohol or drug exposure. She said that all the children were AIDS tested since that was such a worry.

I tried to clarify and say that I was asking about family medical history.

She enthusiastically assured me that all the birth mothers were 100% healthy in every way. She mentioned no drug exposure again. She did say if there was any diabetes or heart disease it would be noted in the child’s file.

I asked how medical information was updated, mentioning that some things haven’t shown up in the young mothers yet.

She said there was no way that could be done since most mothers disappear after giving up rights to thier children. She said there was no way that they could be found ever again.

It was subtle but the way she said that the mothers could never be found again sure made me feel like she was telling me that I’d never have to worry about the birthmother coming back into the child’s life. I tried not to show any emotion, but I’m pretty sure that I did. Bad Holt Lady must have thought that I was worried about birthmother involvement because she was saying something about how poor the countries were, and how they just couldn’t relocate these people. She said this in a very cheery way.

Yes, please continue – I’m dying to hear the rest! How did you manage to talk to them and keep your cool? I would have been screaming incoherently…

So Holt’s monitoring online adoptees? Goody, they must be scared, then. Perhaps they should go into the business of marketing products that can’t speak for themselves. It’s so gauche when the goods return decades later to say they didn’t appreciate the purchase process.