Light Switch

I mean yeah
We could go out but
If we do, I’m gonna order whiskey neat and a beer back
and then I’m going to find the Jukebox
and play a bunch of Incubus songs in a row
then more than likely, I’m going to be ready for another round
before you’ve even gotten halfway through your first super eclectic ultra special classy club kid drink
And some lady who is beyond fucked up already
is going to cozy up next to me
and she is definitely going to compliment something about my appearance
and challenge me to a shot or a drink off or just buy me what she is having for the sisterhood
and while you’re considering your second drink, I’ll be on round three, outside the bar with her and her friends, smoking cigarettes and laughing like we’ve known each other for years
and they are going to buy me loads more drinks before you even realize where I am
and when you come out I’m going to tell them how hot I think you are and ask them all to rate you and say if they think that we should kiss that they should buy us shots and they will so we will and we’ll drink more and kiss and high five everybody
and we’ll go back in and play more music and play a couple of rounds of pool but I won’t be playing I’ll be working the room and touching every pretty boy I see and smelling their necks and running my fingers through their hair and giggling at every dumb thing they say and letting them buy me more drinks and tell me how cute I am and sing karaoke duets with me and they will say just put her tab on mine cause they’ve already sent thousands of dick pics to my phone like they always do and I’ll keep drinking so much that I lose my phone and you go look for it and while you look I’m probably vomiting somewhere and smoking more cigarettes and doing more shots and at closing time the whole bar knows my name and I’m all over these strangers Instagram feeds and Facebook posts having a blast that I will not remember and you’re still sober and you’ll be drinking water because you drove and we’ll come back here to mine because you have to drop me off and I will literally be too drunk to fuck you and when I wake up I’ll be shitty that you’re even still at my place and kick you out in a very abrupt way and probably never ever call or text you again.
So if you’d rather just stay in
and cuddle on my sofa
with your hands between my legs, and talk about the future, while we tell childhood stories and get high
and drink a couple of brews and listen to Pandora awhile and maybe order a pizza…
that’s cool too.