Year-round Yuletide oddities

Category Archives: swing

Singing is part of the Christmas holiday. Hark, what did those herald angels do? Some songs even mention the act, in a fun ironic meta kinda way. No, they are not easy to come across, and some lines will be blurred in order to celebrate thusly.

Go with it.

Riders in the Sky have some virtuosic levity with the connectiveness of all carols with “The Last Christmas Medley You’ll Ever Need to Hear.” It’s largely instrumental, but they’re the cowboys who can swing it. JJ Dion has a “2.0 version” (now with a second verse) that really sings. Schticks to your funny bones.

Wendell Ferguson goes more melodic with “Why Does Every Christmas Song Have So Many Chords?” Slow country swing, deceptively so.

Once we get to the actual presents for Christmas, we must bear in mind, some of the worst, schmaltzy, banal, time-wasting tripe in Christmas song is the I-WANT-YOU cliche. If that’s all you want for Christmas i hope you didn’t meet her last summer and wasted all Fall pining. And i hope you don’t think some magical Santa sack is gonna enslave her to your will, you pathetic wanna-be rapist. If, on the other scummy hand, you NEED-NO-OTHER-PRESENTS then you should take another look at the whole Western Civ notion of the holiday, ‘cuz either yo’ broke or unimaginative. When you’re more romantic than materialistic, why even observe the Big C? Don’t even cheapen the Hallmark moment with that word ‘presents.’

But…

Some pretty cool songs do metaphorize the gift for the giver. I submit to the saccharine for a week.

J B Summers grooves you back to the ’40s with “I Want a Present for Christmas.” Wailing pre-rock ‘n’ roll jazz band wanting on that present, ‘cuz he’s tired a’ bein’ alone. Tiny Grimes‘s verzh is more approachable, less raw.

Do wop that “Christmas Present” with Raymond Peace. You’ll be glad you did. It’s a song that money can buy.

Swing with Jon Aley and “The Best Darn Present in the Whole Wide World.” I’m glad i did. It’s a song i posted.

Hank Thompson and the Brazos Valley Boys is going cheap this year, ‘cuz he’s gonna “Wrap My Heart in Ribbons” for you this Christmas. It is the most he can give. Gentle country swing is the least he can do.

Tromp tromp tromp, whew! Hack hack hack, hooboy! The extraction of the right evergreen is almost as hard as giving virgin birth!

Take this word of warning to heart through Erik Darling’s “Revenge of the Christmas Tree.” Frolicsome bluegrass, yes; but beware, boyo! The tree might bite back.

With a little help, p’raps it could be jolly. Dick Gardiner offers the twanging country tale of a little boy who follows a stranger into the woods with “Santa Helped Me Cut a Christmas Tree.” (I’m not sure, but i think the little boy was institutionalized while his brothers moved on…).

For those who axe, Maple Leaf Learning teaches us counting and clear cutting with “Three Christmas Trees.” Xylophonically childish!

Jug band hee holiday fun from Max E Voltz who wants to go out and cut down “A Natural Christmas Tree.” Consider my knee slapped. (But watch out for the twist ending.)

Brassy jazz from Danish Big Band Radio (feat. Mads Mathias) might remind you of smokey joints without family values, but “Chop Chop (The Xmas Tree)” wails and nails it down home.

Grampa Frank Sinatra was really something back in 1957. His “Mistletoe and Holly” gives him a co-writer credit. He owns this old time piece of holiday celebrating, I’ll tell you that. His voice is a sensuous waltz of seduction. Brrrr.

Kidz Bop clunk together some youngsters’ harmony for their version. It’s Frank clone.

Leigh Nash injects some welcome innocence in her turn. Pop that oldie, girl.

Ms. Waskin and Radio sass up the girl parts of the next one. They sound like they’re waitin’ for a bus.

Faith Evans turns up the asthma attack with her breathy, overly percussive arrangement. It stops short of actual soul and lands in the toy department.

Just about my favey-fave is the warbling abandon from Jenny Daniels. She loses herself (and her metrical place) in this bows to the nose belt-down. Weee!

The other multitudinous mash-ups aren’t worth repeating. (Not even The Hot Sardines‘ big band finger-popping bit.)

Let’s turn this on its head for a surprise twist ending: Jim Lauderdale, a CW songwriter of note, good-ol-boy-ing “Holly and Her Mistletoe.” Not the same old hat standard at all, gang! It’s a down south dive dance tune with just a hint o’ nasty to it.

Swing has evolved to become boogie woogie, jitterbug, and rock. But jazz and blues N’awlins-up “Santa Swing Me a Christmas Tune” by Banu Gibson and The New Orleans Hot Jazz. Just a dash too much Dixieland, dawlin.

Leaning more heavily into the jazz, Duchess Di and Dave Keyes make “Swing into Christmas” sultry and slow-dancing, and gee–not so swing. But saxy!

Also, not quite there–but not to be missed–the Mother Ukers ukulele band wit up “Santa’s Xmas Ukulele Swing” giving us a soundtrack to clap to if not sashay. (Sorry for the fragmentary sample… just had to hear it.)

Some cool chick Sylvia Aimerito decided she could sing as cool as any other jazz chanteuse, so we got “Swingin’ Santa.” Not complaining, but with a little money this could be a cool cool song.

Scatting out “Swing into Christmas” some music by committee group (Smashtrax Music LLC) has latched onto the messiness of jazz with brass, electric guitar, and velvety vocals. It’s tunes for the business class, but i am susceptible to its charms.

Jolly joyful music has now become codified as novelty nuttiness. Ho ho ho.

In terms of stright comedy, this year Tom Lehrer recorded his “Christmas Carol” both live and in studio. Once more, a reminder, how much the 1950s shaped novelty Christmas music.

Unintended comedy sounds like “Wistful Willie” by Jimmy Rogers. This was a clear miss despite the jazz drums and upbeat story. The guy just couldn’t learn from Jimmy Dean’s Sandy Sleighfoot.

We find another over-orchestrated promo 45 from Line Materials (this time w/word-jazz narrator, Ken Nordine): “The Kinds of Christmas.” Do kids today get such manipulative messages for free?

Unfortunate comedy results from Russ Regan triying some more of the Chipmunks’ schtick with “Dancer, Prancer and Nervous” The Happy Reindeer Song. Wow, that’s bad.

By 1959 The Three Stooges have dwindled to Joe DeRita trying to look like ‘Curly’ Howard. But kids’ shows are big bucks. So it’s a wise guy renaissance. Their shorts are making the rounds, full-length movies and cartoons are just around the corner. Hence, novelty tracks like “Wreck the Halls.”

Despite the hit-and-miss laughs, i’ve got to highlight a country-swing-rock mix from reliable Johnny Horton. It ain’t what i’d call funny. But “They Shined Up Rudolph’s Nose” is fun for kids, twisting teens, alcoholic dads… durnitall, it’s jolly and joyful for one and all. That’s music!