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Long-distance relationships are hard — especially when the person you’re dating doesn’t even exist! Through an increasingly-bonkers and decreasingly-credible series of events, Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te’o announced that his “girlfriend” Lennay Kekua was not a real person and that he had been scammed. But as the facts continue to emerge, it’s unclear how much Te’o actually knew — and whether he was actually involved in the scamming.

Earlier today, Vice President Joe Biden delivered his report on gun violence to President Obama. Now, we deliver to you a sneak peek at our upcoming back cover. We’re sure that all Americans will want to proudly hang it in their home, though not all for the same reason. Pick up a copy of MAD #520, on sale February 19, to get your frame-worthy print.

Yesterday, Lance Armstrong finally came clean and admitted to being a lying, cheating, drug-using weasel. After years of steadfast denials, what prompted this sudden act of truthfulness? Some say it was the overwhelming evidence compiled against him.

As the Republican Congress and President Obama continue to haggle over raising the debt ceiling, it’s been mentioned that an old Treasury rule can allow the President to skirt the issue by minting a trillion dollar coin. If such a ridiculous gimmick were to happen, whose face should grace this coin? President Obama’s? House Speaker John Boehner’s? We humbly submit that there is only one face truly suited to symbolize the stupidity and dysfunction of Washington, D.C. And that face is...well, you know who!

Yesterday, Steven Spielberg’s film Lincoln received 12 Academy Award Nominations including one for Best Picture. The film is a stirring, wonderful tribute to the Great Emancipator, which is more than we can say about this cartoon from MAD #500. It comes courtesy of the twisted mind of Mr. Duck Edwing.