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Epitome Of A Horrible Son: Florida Man Smears Dog Poo On His Mom’s Face Cuz She Wouldn’t Let Him Get Slizzard On Vodka Shots

Meet yet another one of those Florida crazies, William B Jenkins, who isn’t winning any “Son of the Year” awards any time soon.

Establishing himself as perhaps the most mature man in all of Florida, 22-year-old William B. Jenkins was arrested Tuesday night after smearing dog feces on his mother’s face because she would not give him a shot of vodka.

When the woman first denied Jenkins the booze, he grew angry and pushed her, according to a Palmetto Police Department report.

Jenkins’ mother then asked her son twice to clean up after their dog, who had defecated outside. The second time she asked, Jenkins said he would only do so if she gave him a shot of hootch.

At that point, he reached down, picked up the poop, and smeared it in his mother’s face.

Jenkins’ mother tried to flee to a neighbor’s house, but before she could he pushed her to the floor.

When she was able to stand again, the mother took her purse and made her way to the neighbor’s home, where she called the police.

“The defendant stated that he did not push her but he did rub dog defecation on her face because she yelled at him,” the report reads.

Sounds like Jenkins, who was slapped with domestic battery charges, is a real momma’s boy. He is slated to appear in court September 11, 2012.

What THEE Fawk is wrong with this guy???? That woman birthed you — you don’t pay her back like that!