I should probably publish this discovery in Nature or some other peer reviewed journal. But what a hassle, so here goes: Graffiti is visible only in black or white. Yes, people often appear to see red when their homes and workplaces are bombed, but that’s only further proof that despite what you think you see, there is no gray area where graffiti’s concerned, let alone color.

Wake up and smell the Krylon! Actually, I don’t recommend it, though I often do it. Not because I’m into huffing paint, mind you, but because I often roll directly out of the wrapper and up the local bike path past the public graffiti walls at the Venice Beach “Pits.”