Let’s do this! Let’s torch the whole building!

Ok here it is, June 24th, 2006. 5:25pm. Meet at the regular, Philtheo, pack extra meds, or this time I will tie you up and let the cats kill you. We will go to Mama Mia’s Pizza, at some point, most likely around 6:30pm. Pizza will be had! Let’s think about toppings beforehand, we don’t want to show up to Mama Mia’s and get stomped like the U.S. did by the Czech’s. Bring your A game is what I’m saying. VIVA LA PIZZA!

But alas, I’m torn between my love of softball and my love of pizza. If this debate was between spaghetti and baseball, I would have to kill myself.

P.S.
Am I allowed to invite someone? I know the answer will probably be “No”, but I feel like I should at least make the offer, since I’ll be ditching them to be with you guys (and ditching my whole softball team, but I don’t really care about them because they’re a bunch of turds).

I have terrible news, and I am overcome with grief as I write this. I will not be able to enjoy the sweet taste of Mama Mia. Family is in town, and I must ditch the club to have dinner with them. PLEASE BEFORE YOU ORDER A HIT ON ME THINK OF ALL MY CHILDREN.

F your children, right in the ear! I’m giving up two previous engagements for Pizzaliciousness, and now not only Schulte might not be able to come, but Scooter can’t either? This may go down as the best Pizza Club in history!

Actually, I’m just kidding. I’ll miss those bastards. That’s why I would like to suggest a reschedule. The fewer people there are the more likely I’ll have to sit next to TJ, and I don’t want anyone to die at Pizza Club.

Officially, no, you’re not allowed to invite anyone. In fact, officially, I’m not sure you’re even allowed to come, due to laws and things I don’t understand, like math. There must be some loopholes though, since you keep showing up. Perhaps your blatant disregard for authority is the catalyst for your appearances. If someone would like to plead to Pizza Club for an entry, I dare say this web site would be their platform, but we hold our members in highest regard, so I would say it must be either a super hot girl, or a really funny / entertaining / rich guy. So in Phil’s case, he better be really fucking funny. Kapow! But you can invite your friend to post on this site, they can claim their love for Pizza, and we’ll see what we can do for getting perhaps a temporary membership, on an unlaminated card.

Scooter, it saddens me that you would let your family come between you and God’s gift to you, Pizza. I have heard stories echo through the halls of time about your mother, so I can’t say as I blame you. Did you know that Scooter had fourteen brothers and sisters, until his Mother ate most of them? Some may have escaped and run off, since I clearly have no idea if Scooter actually has any brothers or sisters (alive).

I have dedicated my life to hunting and trapping Scooter’s relatives for sport. Hearing that they will be in town fills me with glee and makes me giggle. Except this time I won’t be practicing catch and release…this time, its for keeps!

And what if, hypothetically, my guest would be a super hot girl? I’ll have to find one and raise some money to convince her to come, but if I did, could she come with?

As far as my membership goes, I do “favors” for some members of the Pizza Club Council, so don’t poke around too much if you enjoy your kneecaps.

The probability of my attending the meeting is unaffected by a Friday versus Saturday date; I decline from voicing a preference, other than my preference that Phil be hit by a bus or arrive at some similar fate.

Friday would work better for me, although I’m pretty sure I could make either. I can’t get stone cold drunk, however, as I have to play softball early. Sorry to disappoint you. But I will still be removing most of my clothes, as you have become accustomed to. I mean, why break tradition?

And Schulte, your terrible comment hit me like a bus, so kudos, you bastard. Just remember that the next time you want the last slice of pepperoni pizza.