WVU has a bye week? Yes, please!

My deepest apologies for leaving you all to suffer through almost three weeks of this wretched WVU football season alone. My absence could not be helped, I’m afraid. I was off in the Land of Family Obligations, both fun and not-so-fun. Fun: my brother, his wife, and their two doggies were our houseguests for a few days of merrymaking. Not Fun: my mom was in the hospital for a week having (maybe, but let’s hope not) cancer removed from a part of her body I promised her I wouldn’t mention in my post. Supremely Not Fun: my grandma died. So, I would like to begin by saying a hearty, “Screw you, Fall of 2013, and please to stop sucking!”, and proceed to commence football commiserating with you fine people.

You guys, I don’t even understand what is happening with West Virginia football this year. Due to the above mentioned family stuff, I was only able to catch bits and pieces of the last two games as they happened to be on in the background. Which, really, was a blessing.

How about that Oklahoma State upset?

WVU went into this game fresh off that humiliating defeat by Maryland. It was our worst shut out loss in my lifetime (I’ll be 40 next month, so… that’s a long time). Not only that, we had lost eight of our last twelve games – our only wins were against Iowa State and Kansas last season, and William & Mary and Georgia State this season. Everyone, including your mother, knew we were going to lose.

But then… unicorns appeared and sprinkled magic fairy dust all over the field Oklahoma State made several costly mistakes and essentially handed us a win on a silver platter. Thanks, guys! Hope you enjoyed being #11 for a while! I’m not saying WVU didn’t play a decent game – Trickett did quite well, despite having a pretty painful looking shoulder injury, and I dare say our defense was killing it. But, if the Cowboys hadn’t left so many points on the board, I don’t think we would be having the same conversation right now.

And in true classy Mountaineer fashion, there were not only riots and burning couches, but overturned cars. Way to act like backwoods hoopies, y’all. Why don’t you just write the West Virginia jokes for them?

How about that Baylor loss?

Fortunately, I wasn’t able to see much of the action on the field during this game because my eyeballs were blinded by those shiny, shiny Baylor helmets. Apparently all I missed were a few Holgorsen temper tantrums, some serious clock mismanagement, and WVU giving up more points than any WVU team has allowed since 1904. Oh, and potential recruits for next year are deserting us like rats from a sinking ship, or whatever your favorite applicable cliche might be. I’m looking at you, Devante Averette.

So, now what?

Stop with the Fire Dana talk. This is a rebuilding year for a young team that has seen enough coaching changes in the last several years to make anyone’s head spin. This article sums it up quite nicely.

I’m sorry, but the ex-mental health specialist in me would like to kindly suggest that Trickett and Holgorsen attend some sort of counseling to improve their communication problems. Because “Why won’t you just tell me what you want?!” and “You never listen to me!” and thrown headsets aren’t getting the job done.

Enjoy the bye week with your heart and vocal cords intact. I recommend a hate-watch of the Pitt/Virginia Tech and/or the Penn State/Michigan game. No matter what, a team you hate will lose this weekend!