01/01/2013

What do you have to do to impress a woman? I ask because there's news from Slovakia of a man who returned from the dead, and his wife still didn't want him back.

In her defence, the vows say "till death do us part", and she'd kept her side of the bargain. Read the small print, buster.

47-year-old Igor Faber disappeared while on a hike in the Tatra mountains near his home in Poprad, Slovakia, in 1993. After months of searching he was presumed dead.

But he was recently found, which shows something. If you rise from the dead after a few days people think you're the son of God, but if you drag your heels for 19 years you're just a loser.

As it turns out (spoiler alert) he never actually died. He had secretly walked out on his wife and children to start a new life. He was found living in a homeless shelter in Prague during a routine check for missing persons.

Being walked out on must be terrible, but being walking out on to live in a homeless shelter is a real slap in the face.

His former wife Renata refused to take him back when she was contacted by the police, for some unfathomable reason.

She said: "How can I take him back after all this time? Life has moved on. The children have a new father, I have a new husband. If he couldn't be bothered to contact us, then I don't see why I should change my life again. Clearly he didn't want us, so now we don't want him."

You go girlfriend. Plus, if he's come back from the dead he's technically a zombie. So if you see him again, aim for the head.