Monthly Archives: October 2016

My human has finally seen reason and gave up on this Alois guy (for now, she says). But instead of finally tending to my wishes she found something else to occupy her time: indoor gardening. Yes, she also has to do what she calls ‘work’, which from my point of view is no different to what she is doing the rest of day: computering. Or whatever you call that stuff. Me doing it right now, too. Hehe.

Anyway, she-human insists that we should be more eco-friendly. We had that before, remember? And how did that go? Don’t ask. But I finally saw a way to get her attention (I’m a sucker for my human’s attention, but I guess you figured that, right?): I help her with the green stuff.
Growing our own veggie stuff, is what she means by that. Producing lovely green orcs as offspring is what I would mean by growing green stuff, but never mind.

Myself being a wonderful shade of green I consider myself an expert on everything concerning that color. So, I joined in, cutting the giant plants. And in order to make it more fun I pretend there is a monster hiding in the green onions. That reminded me of the time when I went into the giant chives in order to get the monstrous fluffy spider. That was outdoor fun, now we’re indoors. Winter is coming. Again. I became rather fond of central heating I have to admit. Pretending to hunt the green onion monster was fun, at least for a bit. I moved very silently through the green jungle on the window sill….

And guess what? There it is. A green onion monster, I mean. Me. Muahahar. Pathetic? Yeah, well…, it is hard to be the only monster of my kind. I feel lonely, but does my human care? Well, she does, to be honest, but not nearly enough for my liking. Human monsters are so weird in their monstrosity that I can’t even tell them apart from the more friendly specimens of the species. So I stick to my human and her weird ideas about eco-orcs and orcish gardening. Or something like that.

Now I will prepare her breakfast. My fellow orcs must never know that I am so docile. Shut up, you.