Death Panels await those who don’t throw out their food on time! The “suffragents” are losing the war against women! Rejoice — for the Apocalypse is nigh! Welcome to “This Week In Crazy,” The National Memo’s weekly update on the wildest attacks, conspiracy theories, and other loony behavior from the increasingly unhinged right wing.

5. Peter Lloyd

Fox News’ hand-wringing over the erosion of marriage continues. If it isn’t “The Gays” destroying the institution, apparently it’s the feminists, who have contorted it into a demoniacal scheme to filch funds from emasculated grooms.

Fox & Friends ran a segment Tuesday to discuss why people are getting married less. Enter Peter Lloyd, self-proclaimed “suffragent” and author of Stand By Your Manhood: A Gamechanger for ModernMen, a how-to for embattled males to negotiate this world of predatory women. “I feel pretty safe,” Lloyd says, referring to the Atlantic Ocean buffering him from any stateside hostilities, and perhaps also to the fact that he was speaking on a news network that generally welcomessuch views.

Marriage is the “Fraud of the Rings,” according to Lloyd. “It’s a legally binding contract,” he says, “and it serves men not at all. … Men need to be wise to it and avoid it at costs.”

Feminism? “It’s done some wonderful things.” but it has also “prioritized the safety of women over men even though we are all supposed to be equal.”