Just wanted to put this recent interaction out here on the forum (hope I'm putting it under the proper topic). Forgive me, in advance, for this being a bit of a long read.

I have an acquaintance who I worked with many years ago (just over ten years, I think) but we have been in touch over facebook for maybe the last five years or so. In recent years, she and her husband are constantly paying to join some type of new "from home" business (like the selling jewelry, woven baskets, housewares, etc). Her husband recently began selling some type of work-out dvds and is always posting about it on facebook. She sells for some type of company where she's always trying to get you or someone you know to host a party. She is often asking me to be a part of it (whether selling or hosting) and I politely decline.

In recent weeks, both she and her husband have sent me and my husband several personal messages over facebook to switch to this new business venture of their's that offers "green electricity". Again, we declined. Apparently, we didn't decline the correct way because she came after me again today.

She writes: "Hey, I just noticed your post about the recycled flip/flops. It seems like you are very conscious about environmentally friendly products. Did you not get my message to you about switching your electric to a GREEN energy supplier? The company I recently gotten involved with is wonderful and has a higher purpose to allow people to make a difference WHILE saving us some money on our electric bill. If you didn't get it please let me know and I'll resend the details. They are very legit and have made such a difference in helping the environment already. It costs you NOTHING and is very simple to do! Please let me know and I can send you more info. Thanks! S.

My response: "Hi S~ Thanks for the electricity offer regarding (name of company). My husband and I looked into it, and we're not wanting to make the switch.

We found that their price structure has no limitations as to how high the rate can go and they only offer a variable rate. There is really no limit to how high a variable electric rate can go up in any given month, and history shows that eventually the rates will increase drastically. They advertise that they have no contracts, but when it comes to buying electricity, we think it's good to have a contract and/or fixed rate - you don't have to worry about market fluctuations.

We’d rather be locked into a rate for 12 months instead of chancing it. Locking in a low fixed rate allows us to save more and provides price protection as opposed to a variable rate that provides no price protection. Thanks again~ L"

She responded saying: "Actually it's just the opposite! Variable rates float under the whole sale prices which guarantee a built in savings! you just need to learn about that. watch 1 min of this news clip i'm attaching. no 3rd party provider can charge unlimited amounts because it's regulated by the government. (name of company) has not be above (another electric company) ever and can't charge customers more each year because how the hell would they stay in business? LOL they are looking to SAVE customers and help the environment. they have saved their customers almost $7m in 2 yrs and reduced the carbon emissions by 47million lbs! and they are so confident that you won't be disappointed that they don't lock you in. my mom is a great example... she locked into a rate last summer with another supplier but there have been SEVERAL months where the prices went below causing her to pay more. she couldn't get out because they would charge her a fee! she totally regrets doing that! if you're uncomfortable that's fine but i thought you might like to have more info. it's nice to learn stuff we don't realize to make an informed decision!"

I couldn't help but respond, because I was so bothered that she said both, "you just need to learn about that" and "it's nice to learn stuff we don't realize to make an informed decision". I found her to be so condescending and insulting.

My response was: "Hi S~ Thank you, but still not interested. My husband and I do feel that we have made an informed decision about (name of company's) supposed energy savings, and even the company itself. And it appears they can currently stay in business because it's a MLM - something we want no part of. Best of luck in your endeavors~ L."

Her final response was: "That's fine and I'm not trying to change your mind. It's obvious we see things differently. But I will tell you from PERSONAL experience that you are misinformed about MLM's. They are NOT illegal. Pyramid schemes however are. If I had listened to people "warn" me off (the other sell from home company she works for) 4 1/2 years ago because it was a "MLM" I wouldn't have made over $30k to help my family working P/T! They are still around and going strong! Pyramid schemes offer no products but pay people to sign up others... (The other company she works for) me and (the green energy company) DO NOT do that!! They stay in business because they offer a product to people! Do you go to church? It's a pyramid, girl scout's is a pyramid and so is ANY company we've ever worked for including (the company we used to work for years ago)!!! LOL I'm so sorry but I get very passionate about this especially when people don't understand it's a misconception since I've proved this myself! BTW - Donald Trump, Bill Gates and any other successful rich person has been part of network marketing. I don't know about you but I want to be successful like them! I will have continued success and continue to prove people wrong! I will never work for an hourly wage again! LOL"

I find it so interesting the she originally tried to sell me on "green energy" and saving me money. As if she was really trying to help me and the Earth or something. But then, as it turns out in the end, she's just trying to get rich like Donald Trump. And here I mention MLM (multi-level marketing) and she brings up pyramid scheme and illegal? Who said anything about that? But she basically admits that it really has nothing to do with saving me money or helping the Earth, she just wants to get rich and take my money and get her commissions.

Ignore, or say, "Thank, I'm not interested." Over and over and over and over. Giving her reasons tells her there's something to argue about.

ETA: I really don't have a problem with her wanting to make money. That's why people work. I heard this a lot when I was a waitress: "Oh, she just wants to make tips." Well, yeah, but I also really loved my job, and I take pleasure in doing it well and talking to people. It really bothered me. So don't bring that up with her, either. She may really be trying to help the environment, and she may really love the home business aspect of what she does. That doesn't mean it's legit, but I do think her motivations are a moot point. People have many different reasons for doing one thing.

Thank you both lady_disdain and MrsJWine for your responses. Forgive me, lady_disdain, but I'm unsure what Don means - but I love your etsy shop. I'm a huge etsy fan and love shopping there for one-of-a-kind jewelry for both my mother and mother-in-law. I've marked you as a favorite and will shop with you in the near future for gift giving!

MrsJWine ~ I couldn't agree with you more. That was my original response to her and her husband. But I got so fed up with the constant asking whether over private message or posting on my wall. It just became too much, so I "snapped", in a way, and ended up responded with more than a, "No, thank you". I'll try harder next time! (Hopefully there won't be a next time!)

You don't mention any interaction with this couple other than their attempts to sell to you or get you to joining their latest MLM. Is there a reason you would keep them as facebook friends after all these attempts?

You don't mention any interaction with this couple other than their attempts to sell to you or get you to joining their latest MLM. Is there a reason you would keep them as facebook friends after all these attempts?

That's a very good question and I guess I've recently been asking myself the same thing. We used to invite one another to baby showers and children's birthday parties, but that somehow, somewhere ended. We send one another Christmas cards, but we no longer see one another in person. We'll interact a bit on facebook, aside from their new business ventures - like commenting on photos and whatnot. But I guess none of us has "severed the ties". Perhaps that's the next step.

I think part of the problem is you're giving her reasons. "I'm sorry but we're not interested because of A, and B, and C..." gives her a chance to explain how wrong you are about A, and B, and C (and no doubt her MLM teachers have given her scripts "how to deal with customers who bring up unpleasant facts").

Try "I'm sorry, but we're not interested." Period. If she whines "But WHHHYYYY?" the answer is just "Because we're not". She can't argue against reasons she's not given.

Logged

My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

I think part of the problem is you're giving her reasons. "I'm sorry but we're not interested because of A, and B, and C..." gives her a chance to explain how wrong you are about A, and B, and C (and no doubt her MLM teachers have given her scripts "how to deal with customers who bring up unpleasant facts").

Try "I'm sorry, but we're not interested." Period. If she whines "But WHHHYYYY?" the answer is just "Because we're not". She can't argue against reasons she's not given.

Thank you for your response, Twik. I think you're one-hundred percent right! I tried that with earlier messages from her, but didn't stick to my guns and started giving reasons. I will definitely try to stick with your plan!

I think part of the problem is you're giving her reasons. "I'm sorry but we're not interested because of A, and B, and C..." gives her a chance to explain how wrong you are about A, and B, and C (and no doubt her MLM teachers have given her scripts "how to deal with customers who bring up unpleasant facts").

Try "I'm sorry, but we're not interested." Period. If she whines "But WHHHYYYY?" the answer is just "Because we're not". She can't argue against reasons she's not given.

Twik is 110% right. Don't engage because you already know she isn't going to listen.

Thank you both lady_disdain and MrsJWine for your responses. Forgive me, lady_disdain, but I'm unsure what Don means - but I love your etsy shop. I'm a huge etsy fan and love shopping there for one-of-a-kind jewelry for both my mother and mother-in-law. I've marked you as a favorite and will shop with you in the near future for gift giving!

MrsJWine ~ I couldn't agree with you more. That was my original response to her and her husband. But I got so fed up with the constant asking whether over private message or posting on my wall. It just became too much, so I "snapped", in a way, and ended up responded with more than a, "No, thank you". I'll try harder next time! (Hopefully there won't be a next time!)

Agh! The internet monster ate my reply. It was nice and thought out too, but boils down to don't give reasons, don't engage

I am glad you like my shop! Feel free to contact me at any time and I will do my best to help.

I might not defriend them, but I would definitely block their posts. Who needs that sort of aggravation? If they email again, it's probably easier to just say "No, thanks" and not give them ammo for a rebuttal.

Logged

I assume you heard the way she spoke to me at dinner.Of course, but how does it help to answer rudeness with rudeness? --Downton Abbey

I got conned into an MLM and the woman who did it was able to overcome every objection I had. She gets an A for being well versed. Bottom line though, I lost a ton of money and later found out "part time" meant 60 hours a week and a lot of funny bookkeeping.

However, I learned an important lesson: "No" is a complete sentence.

Just a few days ago a woman approached me (I must look like a sucker) with how great I would be selling X. I politely said, "no," but she persisted. I said it again several more times, same tone, and finally she said, "well no means maybe and maybe means yes!" I'm not sure why but I said, "is that what rapists think when their victims are shouting no?"

She actually stopped talking and that was it. No drama, no more high pressure, she just stopped.