Your Favourite Christmas Movie According To Your Star Sign

By Jessica Best - 24 Dec 2017

You’re either groaning or cheering that we’ve come back full circle to the festive season (probably groaning if you’re a Cancer #soz). So we’ve put together a decisive list of what you need to be watching this season based entirely off your star sign #accurateastrology.

Here are your favourite Christmas movies according to your star sign.

Home Alone

It’s cult Christmas films and nothing else as soon as the jolly season hits. A natural Netflix binger, no doubt you wrap yourself in tinsel, munch on some candy canes and bunker down to watch every Home Alone ever (and only you know there’s like five of them to feast on and a conspiracy theory to boot).

Polar Express

Life is hard. Christmas is harder. Discounting the minor issue that you’re currently having a gingerbread-induced internal meltdown because none of the online Christmas gifts you ordered have arrived and you’ve never made pudding in your life, Polar Express is your nice lil’ safe sanctuary of nostalgia during these stressful jolly times.

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

Apart from the fact you low-key have the feels for Chevy Chase (no judgement here, as it happens you’re most compatible with someone who has a sense of humour), you’re actually pretty damn adventurous, hilarious and impulsive, which is National Lampoon to a tee.

A Christmas Carol

You’re all about a complex plot. Period. And everybody knows this retelling of Charles Dickens’ classic novel is layer upon layer of self-redemption and gets deep AF when you side it with a glass (okay, bottle) of your fave tipple.

Elf

As a massive kidult, this shouldn’t come as a surprise. Especially since you still eat cheerios for breakfast, legitimately still write and post your wish list to the North Pole, and leave out milk and cookies for the big red man, the legend, himself.

The Grinch

Yeah, with a heart that’s two sizes too small and a general distaste for society, the Christmas rush actually gives you clinical anxiety. Plus, if Aunt Maura asks you to pull a Christmas popper with her one more time, you’ll have to straight up drown your sorrows in eggnog.

Love Actually

You’ve been wearing mistletoe over your head all year around. Yep, break out the cheese platter and a box of tissues, Christmas time is the season to vicariously live your love-life through this English classic #vomit.

Miracle On 34th Street

In your eyes, it’s never too early to start pumping the Bublé tunes but ‘Frosty The Snowman’ will always be your go-to sing-a-long. You wait all bloody year to drive around and see the Christmas lights, have your wrapping sorted in September and send out holiday e-cards to everyone in the office #weirdo.

The Santa Clause

Let’s be honest, Christmas is just another excuse to get sloshed for you so taking a drank every time Charlie is just stupid annoying, or a sexual innuendo is made, are both key to surviving the festive season and prevailing over the endless cycle of Christmas carols.

The Nightmare Before Christmas

Even though you’re totally anti-holidays (here’s looking to you Easter and Halloween), you still kind of suffer from FOMO. Cue your X-mas feels via bats, ghouls and goblins. Does this even count as a Christmas movie?

It’s A Wonderful Life

It’s really no coincidence you were born so close to the festive season. As one of the lucky ones who get to indulge in the practicality of having a birthday well-before December 25th, you think the more celebrations the better, so going all out in Chrissy classics is a must.

Pulp Fiction

What? Just because Christmas is coming doesn’t mean you have to watch re-runs of reindeers flying and kids maybe or maybe-not believing. Why would you celebrate the one holiday that has robbed you of countless birthday celebrations anyway? That’s just effin’ rude.

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By Jessica Best

Harbouring a slightly, unhealthy relationship with sashimi (like bees to pollen), Jessica is a born and bred Sydneysider with an irreparable habit of never emptying the dishwasher. Spending much of her life with salt and sand tickling her skin, she can’t get enough of the ocean and fresh seafood. Hidden talents? Undefeated Scrabble champion and playing The Sims (that counts, right?).