Friday, February 25, 2005

Farcical Times

Barcelona 2 – 1 Chelsea

The final score line bellied a far worse state of affairs of the team. If one cares to observe carefully, and collates all related facts intelligently, all does not bode well for the first cup final in almost 3 years…and for the final run-in to the season.

The danger with an arrogant person, no matter how successful, is that it is always possible for him to step out of line and start f**king things up without knowing any better…even with people around him to knock some sense it will not make a difference.

Jose is a very intelligent person. He is also arrogant and he knows that. But for Chelsea’s sake as well as my own well-being come May, I hope he is still in control of himself. The last few days has seen some wildly erratic behaviour.

In chronological order:the letting go of Baba,the lack of change in system after the loss of Robben,the omission of Lamps from the starting line-up against Newcastle with JT suspended,the triple substitution (although I could understand the lesser priority of the FA cup but he smacks of wanting to win desperately),the ranting about Rijkaard,the naming of the line-ups and the inclusion of Duff,the ‘non-appearance’ of the team against Barca,the slow reaction to Drogba’s send-off,the post-match commotion of not talking to the media, andaccusations of dubious play by Barca…

I’m tempted to say ‘Jose, grow up!’ but his antics has been a source of amusement for me from the start due to the sheer contempt shown by Arsenal, Man Utd and Liverpool fans, in that order… :) but seriously from the above-mentioned events its not very funny anymore. If by some clever reason he is simply play-acting as was shown by his former protégé Deco on some occasions during the game, I do hope he lets the players in on it. Because if not even Claudio’s wacky moments of the past would pale in comparison due to all that is at stake.

To be honest I don’t really want to win much this season as it is only his first in charge. I have mentioned this many times before. The Premiership would do just great, more so with the centennial season coming up. He was the one who built up all the hype about the quadruple and lent credence to the nonsense by commenting that it was not impossible. Like Wenger in the season before last it exploded in his face dramatically. Now he is under tremendous pressure to deliver, and more importantly to his overly-massaged ego, to save face. Yes reading into all this would lead you to question the actual direction of my loyalty but I am a great believer in moderation, in most situations at least (as long as it doesn’t involve tiramisu).

We have only set us up for the worst possible run in to the season. Injuries are something unforeseeable and have to be dealt with. On the other hand, letting your other left fullback go when you don’t fully trust your 1st choice, and the cover is a centre-half who, between himself and two others take turns on the croc list just throws the whole idea of having a completely covered squad in the 1st place. Lamps isn’t playing as well as he used to, Tiago’s early season form has dipped, Drogba is just shite, Ferreira doesn’t bomb forward as much as he used to, Kezman is just unlucky and Eidur needs to play off a partner. There, I’ve said it. Without Robben we’ve lost our counter-attacking ability that’s been yielding all the 3-4 goals-per-game results previously.

The absence of a proper right winger or right-sided midfield is costing us the flexibility to alter the formation. Jose has to come back to the diamond that has contributed so well during the start of the season. The team has to relearn passing from the back to the front and build up play. Lamps has to be allowed box-to-box play.

But since the Pool game is just too close I wonder will he risk changing the system? I suppose not. The team has to continue to belief. And so must the system continue. But Drogba has to go, no matter how highly Jose regards him (a mix between Ronaldo and Henry he claims) and Eidur should come in. And so must Tiago to give way to Smertin. Knowing Jose, pigs will have to fly first…

Monday, February 21, 2005

Painfully close

Am glad I took the day off… knew there would be a glitch in the results but not this bad.. passing three out of four papers with full individual concentration on each subject is pretty good, either for my standards or any ACCA candidate.. but the reality that two of them made no difference as all three final papers needs to be repeated again is just plain p*** m****ing infuriating!! And the fact that managed to get a high 60 for ACR made it worse…

Am beside myself with grief…and rage… and resentment… just 6 more marks would’ve saved me E800, Stg180, and 3 and a half months worth of anguish…

Need to pull myself together quickly to be on track for June as this needs to be sorted by hook or crook!! And need all the support I can get to keep my heart keen and my mind clear…

Sometimes you lose...

Can’t sleep... all the agitation about the results is getting to me... a lot of things riding on that 6 digits… 505050 would be ideal, of course with another 50 before that…how funny it is when all you could think about while in college was if it was gonna be an A, B, or C…but never once did I ever contemplate of failing…it’s all gone now, all that brash confidence melted by the ugliest number you could ever come across..49…who gives a 49? 47 maybe, or even 48.but 49? That’s just plain cruel…

The fact that we lost today didn’t help with my mood. Surprisingly I took it better than I expected... Overall it was a very costly game for us... Jose didn’t heed my advice and left Lamps out of the starting line-up. With too many second stringers starting there was bound to be difficulties in getting some cohesion at the start, and we paid the ultimate price. With definite injury to Bridge, possible with Gallas and Duff, and Carlo sent off it wasn’t just our pride that was dented but more dangerously our consistency. Worst case scenario we’ll be a bit short at the back. Smertin might have to play left back while the non-existence of wide players might force Jose to comeback to the trusted diamond. Nevertheless without a proper leftback we would be too narrow. We’ll just have to wait and see how they recover come Tuesday…

Today another chap went home. The numbers are falling over here...those that matter anyways…I wish you all the best in starting your life back home!

Sunday, February 20, 2005

Super Sunday

It’s Sunday morning! And for the 1st time in 4 weeks I have two days to look forward to without any thoughts on work!!!

I guess all the waking hours of Wednesday night was well worth it. Was one of the toughest weeks in my short career so far and thank God managed to pull it off. DQ hinted something of a contract extension so things look promising for June/October…

But enough of that…its all about today...Jimmy Hill on the telly, Blowers Daughter in my ears, coffee in hand…such bliss… and to make it so much better is the anticipation of the 1st of the triple crown coming up at 4…followed by Barca on Wednesday and Liverpool on Sunday.

This is something I mentioned on the ‘lost post’ Friday evening but in expectation of the afternoon what the heck I’ll do it again.

I think with the injuries/suspensions Jose will give priority to the Barca and Pool game. My I deal lineup (which I shared Jose last night :P) is Cudiccini ‘cause he just deserves to play, Johnson who needs to grow, Carvalho as JT is suspended anyway, I just wonder how we’ll cope without him for the 1st time, Gallas who else is there as Huth is still not fit, Bridge who needs the game to build up form for the season run in and after all the shenanigans involving Ashley Cole, Jarosik as Mack needs his rest to chase after Deco, Ronaldinho & Co as Jenas doesn’t require much supervision, Lamps to start well and since there’s no JT, Geremi who deserves a run out and after not being allowed to move in January, Duffer to whip in the crosses, Kezman as we desperately need a consistent striker and could only hope he finds his form and the only way of doing it is by letting him play, and finally Cole who still hasn’t measured up to expectations. And by the hour mark Morais, Tiago and Eidur should come in for Gallas, Lamps and Duffer to keep them fresh for Wednesday, reverting to the diamond so reliable early in the season. Joe would appreciate playing behind a front two and hopefully will weave some magic.

I’d prefer an outright win or lost but definitely not a draw as the fixture is already congested as it is. And despite all the shite of quadruples in the air the ideal number of trophies this season would be two…the League without a doubt and then maybe the League Cup…imagine winning 4 in his 1st season, how hungry do you think Jose and the players would be come August? And as a fan there won’t be a sense of anticipation either…a gradual buildup would be much better, culminating in the quadruple 2-3 seasons from now, with the likes of Addu, Ronaldinho and Gerard in the team…

As for now I’d settle for Kezman getting a brace so that at least whatever my results turn out to be tomorrow I’d be half happy…time to squeeze in Oceans 12 and a trip to the airport before the game..

Saturday, February 19, 2005

What a shame

Due to some freak reason I lost a post last night...am bloody annoyed but as one has already incessantly been exposed to the frailties of technology, shame on me! Must always keep in mind to type somewhere else and paste it here!!! No time to rewrite it now though, gotta get ready for work...and its not the same vibe either...but am glad that I brought myself to actually doing it..

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

The time between

I have known all along of my failures to finish anything I start but it is today, tonite that reality hits hard on me...worked through the weekend and is the 2nd consecutive day that I went in at 7 and came back at 9, and the file is still not finished.. is it me or is it the job? Its too easy to blame the job when I had taken some liberties during the week and the weekend before.. Reading Binx's blog and seeing her link to mine made me understand the nature of how things have been for the last few months.

It seems for the life of me I have managed to elude that of which gives meaning to my daily life. The answer is quite simple..conviction..or the lack of it. Looking back at the growing years that to most people were their most golden of times, I have nothing to treasure but my meagre existence. There is no sense of achievement within me that can provide a source of light in these moments of darkness. Unsurprisingly the moment does not seem alien as there would have been days like this..days when I question myself but find no answers. At least none that would appease my hunger for a sense of belonging.

I think I've had enough. There is many things to be done in order to get myself back on track. Let this be witness to my trials and tribulations of the days to come. Hopefully it would not be another two full moons before another posting. Or else I will be back where I started...

My hope for this journal that it would be my friend. Someone I could talk to when there is no one there to listen to my thoughts, for I do not spin a fair tale. That is not my attribute for many times have I tried. I myself would rather plant my head into a hole then listen to myself talk.

Its close to 11, I need my sleep. Hafta be in around 7 again so that DQ can have his creditors and accruals by noon. Hopefully there aren't too many things to answer come morning from the sections given today. Then again most of them aren't mine and CM can have his share of fun since he's still there..