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Description

After hearing these guards say those lines for the 1337th time, I started to think about what they are saying. Who's shooting the adventurers in their knees and why? Who's stealing all the sweetrolls and why? Why are the scimitars called scimitars when "curved swords" are much more descriptive? Why haven't the dragonborn met the guards' cousin yet?

If you are like me, stop asking yourself and hit subscribe! This mod adds a bunch of "missing easter eggs" that lets you encounter these memes as you explore Tamriel. In detail:

-- Version 1:
* A headquarter for the knee shooters, in a very secret place (hail Sithis!).
* A storage room for stolen sweetrolls, close to a book that explains the concept. Can be found with its thiefs.
* Changed the name of scimitars to curved swords.
* 7 new load screens.
* Various books in different places. Seen in pictures.
-- Version 2:
* Bug fixing.
-- Version 3:
* A letter from the guards cousin, held by the guards themselves.
* A chance to find a strange note when looting a dead dragon.
* The guards' cousins. One at Kynesgrove Burial Mound (found during main quest), one at Shimmermist Hills Burial Mound (close to Pale Imperial Camp).
* Bug fixing.
-- Upcoming:
* A reason why the guards cannot have their bellies full of mead.
* More books.

Works with and without Dawnguard and/or Hearthfire. Feel free to report bugs, spelling mistakes, or even new ideas.

Thank you for subscribing and long live Skyrim!

CAUTION: Milk drinkers with butthurt in the comments! Use any shrine in case of infection!

teh guards say curved swords because they dont know the proper name of it, only how it looks. It's not like those Alikir fleabags are exactly holding public education classes about redguard weaponry heheheheh