What has running taught me?

Around about this time of year everyone reports on the miles consumed for last year and the plans to come for the year ahead.

Don’t worry, as I type this, WordPress have sent me an e-mail summarising the number of under employed easily distracted runners out there who lack the moral fibre that prevents them from clicking on this blog regularly. I’ll share the details with you and prove that, like the connoisseurs of a rare wine or micro-brewed beer, you are a select few.

I have been thinking about my end of year blog post and I have been trying to distil it down to a single piece of advice. I’m conscious that some non-runners read this blog so I’m not going to tell you that I’ve learn something like optimal nutrition and the correct insoles will allow you to perform to your potential (eat well and wear good shoes).

Has it taught me that through running I would get fitter, healthier and happier? No

Has it taught me that I would meet may ordinary people with extraordinary abilities? No

Has it taught me that with dedication, suffering and determination anything in life is possible? No

Has it taught me that life is a race and it’s against yourself? No

Has it taught me to enjoy the moment because it passes so quickly? No

Has it taught me that I could have had a great career writing fortune cookies? No

No, what running has taught me- and running long distances in particular- is that there are only certain leaves you can wipe your arse with.

I’m not talking about anything crude like grabbing a handful of briars or nettles but some leaves just don’t work. There are three basic problems:

Cheapo tesco-own-brand single ply leaves that are normally not up to the job.

Hoop bigger than leaves syndrome.

Leaves that avoid problems 1 and 2 but leave you with a ring of fire as some sort of botanical revenge.

That is something you will not find in any textbook (nor on any other blog).

Remember where you heard it first.

Happy New Year and enjoy your life in 2013 – remember you only get one of them so don’t waste it.