Back to School With Arnold: Imagining the Course Prospectus for USC’s New Schwarzenegger Institute for State and Global Policy

The University of Southern California has long been known for its top-notch film school. Which is why the recent announcement of the Governator’s new post as a co-founder and “think tank professor” at the aptly named Schwarzenegger Institute for State and Global Policy makes perfect sense. With hundreds of film credits he’s wracked up over the decades, he’s practically earned a PhD from IMDB. An action star capable of crystallizing complex movie plots into indelible catchphrases, one can only imagine how he’ll tagline his vision of “creating a new era of post-partisanship.” (Let’s start with “Hasta la vista, Kofi.”)

In the interest of helping The Terminator become The Tenured-ator (and since a remake of one of his most famous flicks is out this weekend) we’ve come up with a proper USC course prospectus that puts the sweaty tank top into that think tank: Below, the blockbuster course load at Arnold Academy.

It’s NOT A TIMOR! Seminar On Conflict In Southeast AsiaCourse Description: Think you can declare yourself a sovereign state? Learn how Indonesia told the Democratic Republic of Timor-Leste to “Talk to the hand.”

Total Recall: Dream Vs. Reality In The 2003-2011 California Political LandscapeCourse Description: It’s mind over matter in this 6-week survey of practical political strategies when you have no specific government credentials. In just two months, students will be trained (and encouraged!) to run for election as the next Governor of California. (Gubernatorial election will count towards internship requirements. Freshman welcome.)

Pumping Iron (And Other Minerals): Course Description: Extract mineral resources to create the laptops, cell phones, and other electronic gadgets that are ubiquitous to modern life. At what cost to third-world nations? Who cares.

Rise Of The Machines: Building A Global Digital Defense NetworkCourse Description: Senior-level course in cyber-security and artificial intelligence. Course includes recruitment opportunities at job fair sponsored by Skynet.

Kindergarten Cop: Juveniles And The California Prison System? Pardon Me!Course Description: In the past decade, courts have been increasingly willing to try and sentence juveniles as adults. Does the punishment fit the crime? The former governor looks at the benefits and drawbacks of treating youthful offenders like grownups. Final exam will include successfully denying several pleas for clemency.

Got an idea for independent study? Feel free to leave a suggestion in the comments below.