Friday, October 16, 2009

I want to dedicate this posting to MK, Maggie and Kelly, who I meet on website of Raving Athiest. MK, have I learned very much from thoughtful comment you have given on website of Raving Athiest, and Maggie, am feeling that maybe we are almost like friends, if not the case that I live in Russia and you live in the America. Kelly, do I not know you very good yet, but I think you use such beautiful image to tell about your faith.

You all ask me, how can Eastern Orthodox Christian do the porn and the inciting of the lust? Have I never be thinking about such question so much, so I sit down and write very carefully my thoughts that you stimulated me.

First, the porn is important way of keeping men on moral path. Am thinking you know that the men, good Christian man even, they lust after woman (the lusting of the men after th other men, like Ted Haggard, I think is found mostly among protestant heretic, but never with true Christian). But is very dangerous for Christian man, to go to prostitute, no? "For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread" (Proverbs 6: 26), Maggie, this just manner of speaking, no? Does not mean that you should do sandwich with Christian men (do not worry, I am having the tongue between the cheeks for saying this). Also, if the Christian man married, is especially bad because the adultery also a sin: "Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart." (Matthew 5:27-28). So even to look at other woman is already sin! And very often also this can cause disease and death for Christian man, because "the adultress will hunt for the precious life" (Proverbs 6:26).

So what to do? The porn, especially if beautiful porn I think, is good solution, because sexy behaviours is put on film for looking at by the men. So the men they see the actors do the sex and they must not covet neighbor's wife, yes? Also, beautiful porn often show things which are not allowed, like the man-on-man or the doing it from the behind. I will say no more, but if you look at movies I am in, you see many such thing! If they see in porn, this is way for them to rid of such fantasies and keep own sex life virtuous and healthy, I think.

Also for the actress this is good arrangement, because the men, they only see character which she acts, and this character not her real person, is just invented person in movie! So man does not lust after real person, and actress not lusted after by the strange men. So porn I think is good way for Christian man to "take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned" (Proverbs 6:27).

But you say that do I sound very proud of this occupation which I work, and this I think true. Am proud for doing good job, because everyone must find place in life and do best he can, "as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk" (1 Corinthians 7:17).

Finally, for me, the porn very beautiful and enjoying. Was inspired to become porn actress through beautiful Song of Songs. When I study this beautiful part of divinely inspired Holy Bible, I finally understanded that there someting was missing in my life and my love for the Jesus and G-D. I was "a spring shut up, a fountain sealed" (Song of Solomon 4:12). And I wanted to be "in his eyes as one that found favour" (Song of Solomon 8:10), Maggie, "in his eyes", this just manner of speaking, does mean that I want for men to look at my body, not that I want to be inside of the eyes, no? You say my body is temple, and I think this exactly right, because the men, they can worship the beauty that is gift from G-D. My acting, for me it is personal way to "glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's" (1 Corinthians 6:20). When I join adult movie business, I feel as ""a wall, and my breasts like towers" (Song of Solomon 8:10).

I think is forbidden only one kind of porn, which is old-style porn like people use to look at in Medievil Age (many so-call "Christian" painter produce such images, Hieronymous Bosch, if you want example). Because I think porn with the violence or the resising of the woman or the non-consensual, the Lord tells us that this we must not do: “Are ye polluted after the manner of your fathers? and commit ye whoredom after their abominations?" (Ezekiel 20:30). Such adult movies with violence, this I have never done again after I accept Jesus as personal savior. Old movies of such kind, if you still find, please I want you to know, am very ashamed.

Finally, acting in adult movie business for me is position of missionary. My producer, director, the other actors, they are all good Christians, go to local church, they do the tithing, they pray. Sometimes am a little sad, because many of them do not want to heal schism between Eastern orthodoxy and Roman catholic. Many of them say pope has not Primacy, but is just first among the equals. But I study hard the Christian philosophy and show them the full divinity of Jesus is surely true, and pope is direct representative of the Jesus, so how he can be our equal. So in a way is good for me to work in this line for second reason: To teach my brothers and sisters in Christ about one true faith.

I hope this explain the way I try to serve the Lord. Is not perfect, because am I only human being and still must I learn very much about the Jesus and the G-D and holy Ghost.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

The athiest, often they claim that is bad to force religion on the little children. Famous athiest philosopher Richard Dawkins write even that this is like the abusing of the children!

But am I not fully sure if maybe he has his tongue between the cheek for saying so, because it is very beautiful for children to learn about G-D and the Jesus and holy ghost!

I read a very nice story by Christian girl who teached children about G-D and the Jesus at the summer camp in a very beautiful way that not at all is like the abusing of children. First, a man builded a wooden cross that look very much like the cross of our savior.

Then the children, they were having to write about their sin on pieces of paper:

Then, when we went back to our cabins, we all wrote down our sins on a small piece of yellow paper. The girls struggled with this, but as girls will do, as they shared their papers with each other, they came up with more ideas to write down. As they trust me, they shared their papers with me. Some of the sins were sex, abortion, swearing, cutting, trying to get pregnant, hating God (past sin not repented of), envy and drinking and smoking.

I think this are very bad sins, especially the envy and the smoking. The sex, is bad sin if people are not married! (When I act in adult movie, is different, because this is just job which I working for money).

But this is not important part of story. This come next. After they watch emotionally upsetting movie about crucifying of the Jesus, they were having to nail the yellow paper writings to the cross. This is very beautiful, I think, because nailing is such peaceful:

After everyone had nailed their sins, the leader took them all down and placed them into a container, where he poured symbolic blood over them all. We went back to the cabins in silence, a deep awe and reverence covering the kids.

The pouring of blood, I think this unrelated to abusing of children. Is very beautiful and not very scary for the children at all!

Also, religion very good for teaching the children about moral life, because they learn that the bad behavior of them, it is made better by nailing the yellow paper to the cross:

We talked about the truth that our sins were truly washed away by those sins. Some of the girls were unconvinced that their sins were actually gone until I showed them the scripture verses about re-crucifying Christ by not accepting His forgiveness.

Is a little bit silly the unconvicing, but maybe did not the girls know that the Bible, it says very surely that nailing the yellow paper is good for making better the sins.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Still I am learning from highly smart person MK, who make insightful discussion to website of Raving Athiest.

One person, with naughty name, say that athiest must not proof non-existence of G-D, because is it impossible to proof the "negative". MK give a very smart response for this:

Here try this one on…We Christians don’t believe in God. We just don’t believe that God doesn’t exist. So we don’t have to prove anything, because we don’t have to prove a negative!

Good Lord, you are priceless.

I won’t even bother explaining to you yet again, *sigh*, that you cannot prove something scientifically that is not of the physical world. That is the job of Philosophy and Theology.

At first I do not understand rightly, because still I must better my English (please do the cutting of slack for this!). At first I think MK do not believe in G-D! But of course, is just a manner of speaking, to teach dim people! MK just say that if Athiest cannot proof G-D does NOT exist, then Christian cannot proof that G-D does NOT NOT exist. Is beautiful logical, no? Athiest and Christian is exactly the same and cannot proof the negative. (My English teacher, she say you must never use doubly the negative, because twice the negative makes the positive, but I think she probably wrong because MK is good English speaker.)

Also, MK is very truely right when he say G-D is non-scientific: “And he said unto them, Ye are from beneath; I am from above: ye are of this world; I am not of this world.” (John 8:23). Science cannot prove non-scientific argument! Non-scientific argument belong to Theology and Philosophy only.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Some days ago, I read interesting riddle by the Raving Athiest about a pink cube. The riddle is to guess what is inside pink cube. I do not know what is inside, but in my mind there must be beautiful porn, because I love porn and I love our savior Jesus Christ and I know Jesus Christ cannot be inside the cube. He cannot be inside cube, because he is in heaven with father and holy ghost. The riddle is interesting because it tell us that there many things that cannot be in a pink cube, like Amazon river. By the way, I play in adult movie once with amazons who could have sex without the man.

Some very bad people wroted some comments for Raving Athiest, they say that G-D cannot exist. This makes me very sad because even Raving Athiest accept G-D even though he is athiest! Any way, one very smart person also wrote comment and explain why there must be G-D. This person, name MK, who is good Christian man, say that if there is pink cube, then must be someone who put pink cube into existence! So, he say:

But once we agree that the most reasonable explanation is that SOMEONE put it there, we can now begin to look at ways of discerning “WHO” put it there.WIthout looking deeply, you’re right. All possibilities are equal. BUT, if we slowly, methodically, look at the bits of evidence that have been collected over the last 6,000 years or so, some “who’s” begin to emerge as more likely than others.The three largest religions, Christianity, Islam and Judaism…have all come up with the same someone. Even the Kabbalists have the same source. Buddhists don’t really claim to know the identity of the who, they just focus on the “How” to live your life.Which leaves us with Hindus, pagans and a few assorted other faiths like scientology, or Latter Day Saints.

Of course, pagans and Later day Saints, they do not count. I think MK is having his tounge between his cheeks for mention them (am I using this idiom rightly?). So is completely logical: Christian and Jewish and Muslim all agree that G-D put pink cube into existence, therefore, G-D must have put pink cube into existence. If he does not exist, he cannot put cube into existence! But cube IS exist, therefore, G-D is exist!

I feel so happy when I can hear smart men such like MK to explain the logic of Christianity. Only other time when I feel so happy is when I am acting in adult movie (but I will say about this more some other later time).