About a year ago, I put together a resource post about reporting sexual harassment in science fiction and fandom circles. Given that anything more than a week old is ancient internet history, I figured it was worth reposting.

I want to make it as clear as I can that if you’ve been sexually harassed, it’s your choice whether or not to report that harassment. It’s not an easy choice, and nobody can guarantee the outcome. But I can tell you that if someone has harassed you, it’s 99% certain that he (or she) has done it to others. You’re not alone.

Reporting to Publishers:

As a general rule, if you’ve been sexually harassed by an editor or another employee of a publisher, complaints can be directed to the publisher’s H.R. department. Please note that reporting to H.R. will usually trigger a formal, legal response.

I’ve spoken to people at several publishers to get names and contact information for complaints, both formal and informal. I’ve put asterisks by the publishers where I spoke with someone directly.

Tor*: Report the incident directly to Macmillan Human Resources, or to Beth Meacham, at bam -at- panix.com or in person.

Publishers – I would love to expand this list with better information. Please contact me.

Reporting to Conventions:

Often harassment doesn’t come from editors, but from authors or other fans. If this happens at a convention, another option is to contact the convention committee. Many (but not all) conventions include harassment policies in the program books.

A convention committee doesn’t have the same power as an employer. However, if harassment is reported at a convention, the individual may be confronted or asked to leave. In addition, reporting harassment by guests (authors, editors, etc.) is very helpful to the convention in deciding who not to invite back.

To any convention staff, I would encourage you to make sure you have a harassment policy in place, and equally importantly, that your volunteers are aware of that policy and willing to enforce it.

If there is an instance where someone feels that they have been harassed at a SFWA event or in SFWA online environs, they may contact the board. This should ideally be done through their regional director, or by contacting SFWA’s ombudsman, Cynthia Felice, at ombudsman -at- sfwa.org. SFWA takes very seriously the responsibility to have its events and online areas be places where members and others feel safe and valued.

What to Expect:

Ideally, someone who was sexually harassed could report it and expect to be treated with respect. Her or his concerns would be taken seriously, and all possible steps would be taken to make sure the behavior did not happen again, and that the offender understood such behavior was unacceptable. Disciplinary action would be taken when appropriate.

This is not a perfect world. Employers are required to follow the laws and their own policies, which may mean a report results in nothing more than a warning (particularly if this is the first report of harassment). And of course, there’s always the T. D. factor. You might contact a member of the convention committee, only to discover that they are (in the words of George Takei) a Total Douchebag who blows you off or tells you to get over it.

That said, when I posted about sexual harassment in fandom before, everyone who responded expressed that such behavior was unacceptable. And there were a lot of responses, from fans, authors, editors, con staff, and agents.

As a rape counselor, I saw how powerful and important it can be to break the silence around assault and harassment. However, it’s always your choice whether or not to report. Making that report will be stressful. It may be empowering. It may or may not have visible results.

First and foremost, please do whatever is necessary to take care of yourself.

I had a fan that was crossing some lines with me for a time. He thought nothing of walking up behind me and putting hands over my eyes, of following me so close I could feel his sweat and of inviting himself along to private functions.

I seriously wanted to scream at him to go away, but because I feared the other fans would take this as “she’s just a snotty author,” I just kept trying to avoid him. I will say my publisher at the time was good about making a wall when my publisher realized I was being made uncomfortable by this dude’s behavior.

I did end up sending him a “cease and desist” letter, and he took it as my trying to make it impossible for him to network with other authors and editors and ruin his chances of a “career” as an author. He even took to smearing my name, claiming I was just paranoid and all he wanted was for me to “mentor” him.

I did go to the police. I was told that because he didn’t love locally, they couldn’t do anything unless he actually did something criminal here. They advised me to get a license to carry a gun, something I was reluctant to do (apart from which, if I am going for a weapon, it’s gonna be a sword–I was a fencing champion at one time).

In the end, he made the mistake of doing this to some name writers much bigger than me. And got into serious trouble.

I see him at major cons from time to time. He is still trying to find a “mentor.”

Jesus, Laura. That’s a horrible story. I’m glad it didn’t get dicey, but honestly NO ONE should ever have to put up with that. (and really? putting his hands over your eyes? WHO DOES THAT?

I’m really glad you posted this, Jim. The more we remove the silence and shame that invariably accompanies experiences like this, the safer and more welcoming our community will be.

DOWN WITH DOUCHEBAGS!

SkennedyOct 26, 2011 @ 10:43:29

I understand that there is the potential for this to backfire, but maybe this is the sort of thing you can bring your fans in on – making it clear that these things happen to you, and that, just like your fans, you are sometimes in positions where you don’t feel like you can speak out, maybe that would be a way for you and your fans to stand on the same side, against harassment, rather than lumping the harasser with the fans.

There’s a bodyguard who wrote a book called “The Gift of Fear” that explains why C&D/restraining orders often make things worse, and what to do instead. My day job (video games) involves a lot of personal contact with customers who overlap with the SFF community, and I know of a lot of stories like Laura’s. I can’t recommend Gavin de Becker’s book enough to authors and artists.

Briefly (well, not really, I just reread the book in order to advise a client so it’s fresh in my mind ;)):

– Do not concern yourself with being nice. The loser is counting on that. (And Laura, if you’re reading this – your loser calling you paranoid was, according to this book, absolutely entirely predictable. It was *never* about you or anything you said or did.) The first time you feel uncomfortable, it’s your intuition telling you something very important.

– When you tell someone to back off, you don’t smile (mixed message), you don’t yell (tells the offender that he has power over you), you don’t say please (your request is not optional), you don’t explain (your job isn’t to educate him), and you keep it simple so it can’t be twisted. “Do not touch me.” “Stay on the other side of the table.” “Do not call.”

– Each contact with someone exhibiting stalker behavior/unwelcome persistence buys you six more weeks of harassment. Even negative contact such as “I told you not to call me again” or a restraining order.

– Building a wall is exactly the right thing to do. Don’t even make eye contact. The book goes into a lot of ways to build that wall, and this post is already too long, but short version, you can ALWAYS build a wall no matter your resources.

Hope this helps someone!

SkennedyOct 26, 2011 @ 11:43:09

Kathleen, if you don’t mind, I’d like to quote you in my g+ (I go by S Kennedy there) where I’m referencing this post.

** Er – build the wall AFTER you make your simple declaration of no, I should have said.

JenettOct 26, 2011 @ 12:25:31

The other one I found really helpful in _Gift of Fear_ was the I->we shift.

People who are looking to get inappropriate access will shift something you were doing on your own to something that you are doing with them. The example he gives is someone carrying a bag of groceries up the stairs, and dropping them, and the loser stepping in, and saying “Do you need help with that?” She declined, he persists, notices some cans of cat food, says something else, then shifts to “We’ve got a cat who needs to be fed.” and then goes on from there.

It’s a weirdly subtle shift if you aren’t looking for it, but it’s a really good flag, in my experience, for “pay attention, this person might not mean well – and is tromping all over your boundaries anyway”.

He also talks a lot about useful intuition vs. needless fear (i.e. how to pay attention to the actual stuff that keeps you safe, not just the stuff everyone has Major Warnings about.)

@Jenett – Yes! It’s a red flag that even a really smooth loser will accidentally fly.

Anita K.Oct 27, 2011 @ 10:44:49

Nicely summarized!
I LOVE that book, it really helped me to understand more about what my mind is doing with fear, and how to pay attention to that and use it to stay safe. Seriously, I can’t recommend it enough either.

Plus, it’s a very interesting read; when I first read it I expected it to be boring and full of lists that I couldn’t hope to remember but instead it’s very interesting. Plus instead of lists of warning signs or whatever, it almost just changes the way you think–it becomes common sense to you!

My therapist recommended “The Gift of Fear” to me as well. It’s on my “to-buy” list. My experience was of being stalked by a fellow fan. Unfortunately we have several mutual friends, all of whom were trying to tell me I was reading too much into things–until one day, this person showed up in a location where he knew I’d be. One of the people I was there with–an aforementioned mutual friend–said, “Up until this very minute, I thought you were just being paranoid.”

As if getting a friend drunk in order to obtain my new home address, showing up at said new home unannounced when I was there alone, repeatedly going to my workplace, following me down the street, and calling me and hanging up was just my overactive imagination or something. *eyeroll*

His friends got him to back off after I threatened a restraining order. We still see each other at conventions. He makes a point of coming up to me and saying hello, of forcing me to acknowledge him. This is a subtle but frightening attempt to have power over me. After the last incident, that’s when my therapist recommended Becker’s book. With all the good feedback here, I’m going to go ahead and order it.

DorothyNov 01, 2011 @ 09:21:43

Okay, wow. I found this posting from Lilith Saintcrow’s blog. I nearly fell out of my chair reading the title of this article. Unsure of what I’d find, I read it. I’m in a predominantly male work industry and sexual harassment is just a given which I deal with on occasion. Do I ever report it? No. Because like Kathleen mentioned, it’s like a C/D and just causes more trouble in my opinion. Instead, I generally kick the guy’s ass and tell him “don’t touch me unless you want those fingers broken”.

I’m a bit taken aback by the police’s recommendation to be licensed to carry. I guess that’s another reason for me to get that license. I digress.

I’m commenting on this article because I thought it was more about a person “hitting” on another with lame pick up lines or saying off coloured jokes. So many times I find the PC stuff making it awkward for people and overly sensitive. Then to see in the comments it’s actually a stalker more than just sexual harassment, it’s eye opening. I feel bad for the authors that have to be “nice” so they come off snotty. This is unfortunate. I’m going to check out that book recommend by Kathleen. Looks pretty good.