ShoeGuy: Get Over It Already

ShoeGuy runs low on sympathy

One of the ShoeGuy’s great pleasures is to give the running shoe companies a hard time. They’ve earned it in so many ways—replacing great shoes with mediocre ones, fumbling around with fit so much you wonder what kind of simian foot they use for a model, and dreaming up technology that would work better in a ski boot than a running shoe.

To their credit, however, out of the chaos created by big egos and small budgets, they somehow always manage to build the shoes that make it so people can run. And without runners and their shoes, there would be no ShoeGuys.

Speaking of which, ShoeGuys, too, are another favorite target. Hard as we work, skilled as we may be, there’s still plenty of material for the occasional well-deserved zing. Such self-deprecation is a sign of a healthy self-image, I always say. Whether that’s true is up to someone with a couple of graduate degrees, and that would not be a guy who makes a living lacing up shoes. There you go.

But maybe it’s time to go after another very promising source of limitless material. While I may be biting the foot that feeds me, this time around, my friend, it’s your turn. Your number one complaint about running shoes is that just when you find the perfect one, it’s discontinued, right? Right.

Up until now, I’ve been your greatest defender, casting blame on the shoe companies for blowing it, or your local ShoeGuy who failed to steer you to a suitable replacement. But the time has come for us to recognize a third option for this ancient and ongoing dilemma. That would be you getting over it.

Look at all the replacements life throws at you — great quarterbacks retire, good TV shows are cancelled, and your quiet next-door neighbor of many years sells his house to someone who raises dogs bred to bark. You’ll notice that another great quarterback always comes along, the networks eventually come up with another "West Wing," and the dogs, well, let me know if you find an answer for that one.

But when your sacred running shoe succumbs to the inevitable planned obsolescence, suddenly the sun may not rise tomorrow. You cuss, you scream, you abuse your ShoeGuy (yep, that explains the scars), and then you load up your closet with every pair of the oldie in your size that Google and eBay can track down.

OK, so the stash strategy works since most running shoes these days will retain their qualities for months, if not years, when stored properly. But multiply your usual mileage life for a pair by the number of boxes in your closet inventory, and you can predict the day you’ll stop running, right?

Of course not. You’re only delaying the day when you’ll have to find something new. It seems like it would be easier to just get it over with now instead of maxing out your MasterCard on the museum piece of the month. Dead-shoe hoarding has other downsides including fires, floods, tornadoes, and other natural disasters that tend to be hard on houses and the things stored in them.

Or it’s possible that your feet or biomechanics may suddenly change. Feet sometimes spread out a bit with age, or may develop issues unrelated to running (hard to believe, but true) like bunions, hammertoes, and so on. Or perhaps your clumsy brother-in-law steps on your foot on his way to your refrigerator, snapping a metatarsal or three.

All of the above can require a different fit, a different kind of support, or both, and there you are, only halfway through your leaning tower of shoe boxes. It’s back to the shoe search again, leaving you stuck with several pairs of perfectly new and perfectly useless shoes.

So get over it. There are only so many great adventures in life, and trying a new model, a new brand, or heck, even a new ShoeGuy might change your world for the better. Yeah, it can be expensive if you make a poor choice, but isn’t that how you found the former greatest shoe on earth?

When a beloved oldie kicks the bucket, give the replacement model a try. About 90 percent of the runners who loved the last year’s version will be happy with this year’s. Believe it or not, the shoe company guys really do try to pay attention to what worked and what didn’t in the old model when developing the new one. But even with their best efforts, usually about one runner in 10 will fall off the back of the truck.

If you find yourself suddenly sprawled on the pavement, try a competitor’s model that was designed to chisel into your oldie’s market share. Every super-successful running shoe has a herd of wannabes ready to step in and be laced up. Actually, every super-successful running shoe was at one time one of those wannabes. You could be onto the next big thing here.

Finally, be reasonable with the expectations. We’re talking about running shoes here, not nuclear medicine. Unless they just feel awful at first try on, give your feet a chance to fall in love with their new home, first a few steps, then a few miles at a time. Feet can adapt to almost anything given time, patience, and judicious training. One look at the shoes we ran in 30 years ago is proof of that.