Friday, July 6, 2012

Vampiress Review: "Rockula"

The Gist: A vampire named Ralph, who is cursed to see his true love reincarnated and killed is determined to change destiny

Clarification: I believe this movie can be classified as a Rock Opera or Musical Comedy. Basically the main idea of the film is dealing with Ralph who is an unconventional vampire and his neverending attempt to finally get some from the same girl every 22 years as she's reincarnated and reaches that age. What makes matter worse for the guy is his mothers ability to seemingly get some whenever she wants thus making him feel pretty bad about himself or possible the fact that he is not good at ANY aspect at being a vampire.

Selling Point: If you like shows like Glee or High School Musical or just movies with casts consisting of obscure 80's musical references then this is your movie.

Female Vampire Factor: This film gets a Vampire Beauty Rating of 2 out of 5. It would've got a 1 but the lone female vamp in the film is 80's music icon Toni Basil of "Hey Mickie" fame with much less makeup than she had in that video. That in itself is good for an extra point.

Vampiress Cast

Toni Basil (Phoebe)

Ralph's hot mom. The more stereotypical vampire other than her ability to break character from being a seductress who feeds on the blood of the living to play "mom" to Ralph. She's very popular with the guys , hisses a lot and isn't very fond of the woman who her son has spent an eternity obsessing over.