Left it too long...

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So many things i wanted to say, Unbelievable love and I closed up. I wanted to share my thoughts and feelings but had years of people laughing when i opened up. I am passionate and i feel it is a weakness in myself. Overwhelming love and care just filled every inch of me, I was the person you wanted me to be but i was too scared to show it. I wanted to tell you I loved you 3 million times aday... I wanted to get married and have children but i was fearful. I listened to everything you said and i wrote down what i wanted to say back to you, i rarely shared it for fear of upsetting you, My heart screamed when you told me your past i wanted to take you and keep you safe but i was wanted to do it in person.. so much i wanted to say and do in person. I saved things that i should have told you for when we were together again. It is my fault and I am sorry if you didn't feel supported.It is my fear that engulfed me, even now i want to jump on a plane, take a week of work and tell you i'm in so in love. I wish i had told you that I was scared, I wish i had told you every time i thought about you, I wish I had the courage to tell you all this now but i am still too scared. Its not you i'm scared of its all my inner built up demons, They were slowly drifting away i was feeling so calm again and comfortable, maybe i got too comfortable.... I am just sorry.