Anybody hellbent on a certain sex?

Bookmark Discussion

emorgan8200 wrote:

I am desperatly hoping for a girl but all my friends and family keep saying oh its a boy its a boy.... like no. i find out on the 1st of november what it is but i just really really dont want to be dissapointed. i dont want anyone saying well you should want a healthy baby or that youll love it regardless. i already know all this im just worried ill be let down like always... anyone else in the same boat? nervous nervous nervous.

I feel the same way except I'm hell-bent on a boy. I really can't imagine this baby being a girl. I have a 3 year old daughter who I love more than anything but I'm seriously dying for a boy. I even got scolded a little bit last night by my MIL for beginning to plan the nursery for a boy theme, lol. I find out today when my anatomy scan will be and then even after that I have to wait for the gender reveal. I'm dying. I keep telling myself that I will be just as happy and in love with a girl, and I know that will be true. But in the beginning I won't blame myself if I'm a little disappointed because I've read and talked to lots of women who have experienced the same thing.

yeah this is my first baby and when i was 2 my mom died and my dad remarried when i was 3. my step mom pretty much raised me but we had a terrible terrible relationship. like we dont even talk or see eachother ever. not even for the holidays so i think maybe thats why i want a girl so bad... that way i can show her the love i feel i never received

we were really hoping for a girl this time around (my oldest is a girl and she has 3 younger brothers). We really hoped she'd have a sister - so was she! We found out this week that boy #4 is on the way. My daughter cried, I cried, but an hour later she was hugging my belly saying that even though it was a brother she still loves him!??So either way, we are blessed! I'm still a little sad that she won't get a sister, but now we just pray for health and strength for our little boy... and sanity for myself and my daughter!??

No. Why would you be? There’s nothing you can do to pre-determine the sex of your baby (unless you pay lots of money to do). We tried for over 2 years to get pregnant, so I’m happy just to be carrying a child! As long as baby is healthy there’s no reason to be upset over the sex.

I did the same prior to the last ultrasound: kept telling myself it was a boy (likely mom kept telling me :-() when I was really hoping for a girl Turned out that it's a girl! it was so exciting to see my wish realized when I had convinced myself it wouldn't!!

I was not hellbent on having a boy, but I was positive that I was having one and that is what I have always wanted so I think that played into my "gut feeling". Then yesterday, I found out that I am having a girl and my husband and I are over the moon! Realistically, I knew it was not possible to choose so I never let myself get so set on it that I would not be happy either way. I could not be happier! I have never been so excited in my life! What an amazing surprise to know that I am getting a beautiful little girl that I am lucky enough to call my daughter. <3

I understand how you feel. I’m not “hell bent” but since I have a 13yo boy, it would be nice to experience raising a girl. I find out today at my gender reveal party so I’m uber excited. Deep down— I feel it’s a girl but I could be wrong because it’s what I want. I know that God knows best so if I’m having a boy then I’m okay with being the only queen in my castle, lol!

I think your response was wonderful. I agree, it's 50/50. And really, in my opinion anyway, hellbent means you're determined to make something happen and you have no control over the sex of your baby. If there's anyone to be mad at, it's your SO since their sperm decide lol. Is it really something to be angry at your family about if the baby is a boy?

I'm not trying to be rude, and I don't judge anyone so please don't take this that way. I've had a miscarriage and it was by far the worst tho g that has ever happened to me. I was severely depressed for about 7 months afterword and thought about suicide. After a really bad day I was laying awake in bed and thought to myself how many of my antidepressants it would take not to wake up in the morning. Thank God I prayed and I didn't do it and eventually things got better. Now I'm pregnant again, 21w5d now, and everyone kept asking me what I wanted and some even accused me of lying when I said I just wanted a healthy happy baby. After losing a baby you don't care what you have as long as you can hold it and love it and be a mom. If it helps you, try to think of the pros of each. Girls you can dress up and do mother daughter things with, and wear matching outfits. Boys are more often mammas boys, and mom's don't clash with them as much, they don't fight as much as mom's and daughters, and boys aren't generally as expensive.

I always envisioned myself with a boy even before I was in a serious relationship with my husband. We're having a girl (our first) and I was a tad disappointed at first but realized I am also excited and extremely happy for all experiences I can have with a daughter.

This is my third pregnancy, I’m really having high hopes for a baby boy as we already have two sweet amazing girls. My husband gets so mad at me for saying I’m hoping for a boy since this is our last.

He says he doesn’t want me to be disappointed if it ends up being another girl, which I don’t think I would be but yes there’s a chance I may be. I find out in November 9 at 20 weeks 5 days. Yes, of course we are happy our baby’s are healthy and we will love them but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with hoping for one over the other.

Well...you might have a boy or a girl...50/50 chance and all. I think it’s important to remember that. A little perspective goes a long way. We have women on this board who are desperately trying to keep their babies in their body until the point of viability. Those women just want their healthy baby. Hell, they’d even take a seriously premature baby so long as it survived. Hearing about these situations make gender disappointment seem trivial.

Of course you’re entitled to your feelings and deserve validation for any fear or disappointment you might feel. Just process and move on. In the grand scheme of things gender doesn’t matter. I think many people become unrealistically attached to a dream that may never pan out (like planning a daughters wedding, doing mother daughter activities, etc...). Don’t invest so much time in the “what could have been” and focus on the “what is”.

The material on this website is provided for educational purposes only and is not to be used for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, or in place of therapy or medical care. Use of this site is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy.