Prisons can't cope with influx of contraband due to UK riots inmates

The already fragile micro-economic trade systems within the UK prisons has been put under increasing strain with the introduction of over 1,000 riot inmates in recent weeks.

The delicate system of arbitrage that have developed in the UK prisons have started to falter as more products are entering the supply chain, with the recent incarceration of over 1,000 rioters and looters.

"The bottom has fallen out of the snout and crisps market" claims Big Terry from C wing. "The demands we could make three or four weeks ago for luxury items has disappeared, I can no longer demand personal gratification for items that were my everyday stock in trade."

Gerald Williams, spokesperson for The Prison Officers' Association, has also voiced concerns on behalf of his members, who have a near monopoly on logistics for such goods. "It speaks volumes for this coalition Government's contempt for the working conditions of the ordinary Prison Officer", he said "At a time when the large number of our members are on their third 2011 holidays, at their second homes in souther Europe, we have to deal with this massive increase in throughput". He did not rule out industrial action and a decision on this is expected just as soon as there are enough Prison Officers back from leave to make up a quorum at local branch meetings. "Bringing in an extra few dozen grams of smack, wrapped in clingfilm and stuffed up the arse, we can cope with, under our contingency arrangements, but bringing in a load of extra iPhones is stretching our capacity beyond what is reasonable to expect."