Add ‘Fonut’ and ‘Früute’ to Food Product Names We Refuse to Say Out Loud

August 3, 2011

We’ve often dreamed of a world beyond cupcakes, but certain bakers, in their drive to create the next handheld dessert sensation, are presenting us with some fairly post-apocalyptic visions.

As Exhibit A, we present the fonut. As Nation’s Restaurant News patiently explains, the fonut is a “donut-like creation” that mimics the “light, fluffy texture” of cake-style and yeast-raised doughnuts, but is baked or steamed instead of deep-fried. It’s the brainchild of Waylynn Lucas, a former pastry chef who will soon open a shop called Fonuts in Los Angeles.

Whether or not fo– God, we can’t bring ourselves to write it again — ever migrate here, there are encouraging signs that, Magnolia Bakery aside, some bakers may be ending their cupcake binge. Sprinkles, the L.A.-based cupcake chain that was last seen defiling the old Gino space, is apparently branching out with a new concept called Red Velvet.

There are also the pie and ice-cream-sandwich factions, as well as a Los Angeles woman named Yolanda Santosa who’s determined to make itty-bitty fruit tarts a thing. Her store, called Früute (if you give it an umlaut, it looks more professional), sells them in a bunch of flavors for $3 each. “Mini desserts are the next big thing,” Santosa told NRN. “Everyone wants to curate what they eat, and they want flights of different flavors.”

On second thought, maybe cupcakes aren’t so bad after all.

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