Monday, June 22, 2009

just survin' these tough times, man

FML man, I was browsing msn.com and came across an articleabout how to haggle prices at stores. Like at the grocery store, department stores, boutiques, jewelry stores, among other places. The jist of the article was that you can haggle almost anywhere, you just have to know what you're doing, and follow a loose set of guidelines.

Some of the appropriate times to ask for a discount are when you're buying in bulk, when the product is on it's way out, when you pay in cash, and then I got to this one:

"when you're dropping a small fortune"

It get's worse, the article went on to elaborate exactly what a small fortune is (warning, wtf content below):

At high-end department stores, if you spend more than $15,000 or $20,000 in a single visit, you can usually get 20% off the entire purchase, Delilah said. "Stores that sell Christian Louboutin shoes (who? fuck you), you can say, 'These are very expensive. Is there any way you could give me something off?'" Delilah said. "In this economy, everybody's looking to crack a deal. If you're 'spending bank,' there's going to be more flexibility." (from msn.com)

I don't know, I guess there's not really anything funny to be said about this, cause yeah, if you're spending $15 - 20k at one place, yeah, maybe you should get a discount. But then again, if you're spending $15 - 20k at one place, then you're probably buying like a dinosaur that shoots lasers out of its ass, or something. And at that point do you really need a discount?

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tall man on the loose in tampa area

True story, there is a tall man terrorizing the Tampa area. This weirdo usually hangs out around parks, trying to find pick-up games of basketball - during which, he will grab the ball and maneuver around so that you come into contact with his stinky, naughty bits.

Truly an unpleasant experience.

His signature move is the "bait and switch junk grab". As you're grabbing for the ball, his junk magically appears. In the way of your hand.

Another one of his famous moves is to let the ball go loose, then as you scramble for it, his sweaty ass gets in the way. Of your face.