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Well Queen, at least you don't have very much invested into a relationship with Kevin if he backs out. I think it's very un-manly not to call you. Maybe he was just out after one thing. But I don't know, I don't know him.

Cin, thanks for that link. Boy, that really took me back.

I really don't have much to say right now. I'm exhausted and I need to lay down. I've been trying to take a nap, but I only sleep for like 15 minutes at a time. So I'm just going to check out a few other threads and maybe stay off for the rest of the night. Later ladies-

Logged

I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Hey QueenSpencer only has sisters and my sister got a partner ( who I consider my sister in law or sister even) who's a african american who also loves the green, though I don't think she has any boys in the family....but she knows a lot of poz guys of all sizes and colors. I still think we should have an eastern seaboard "getting to know you" as I mentioned before. I think there are a lot of lonely people that could easily meet up....or maybe come up with a really moderated website that is strictly HIV without the crazies. I don't know. You're probably picking out the fabric softener?

Cin- I know the you tube was for betty, but I was laughing my ass off (yes I spelled it out).....I always sing that when we go I'm with friends.

Betty- How is the rest of your day going? This is for you http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zrOTFqtAlgIt's animated the video, obviously not the true video but it's sinead o' connor with the Edge of u2 and the title is Heroine.

Went shopping today. I felt like crap but hubby wanted to go, so we went. Penny's was having an awesome sale!! Got the kids' winter clothes for next year. I spent $53 and saved $172!! Not too bad, I guess. But, it wore me out pretty bad so made PB&J for dinner. Kids didn't care..lol. Rented them a movie that was pretty low budget and boring, but they liked it and it gave me time to rest with my feet up. But, now it's over and I've gotten get them in bed - yes, at 7:30

Nothing else really happened today. We rented "American Gangster" for after the booglets are sleeping. I hope it's as good as the commercials tout it to be. I'll let you know.

I made dinner. Not bad. pork baby back ribs, pinto beans <toot toot> and mac n cheeseRight now I'm just checking in with replys on the site. I'll go back in the living room in a bit and watch some tv with Billy.

I really don't know what the deal is with Kevin. And honestly, I don't care too much and am not going to go through hoops trying to figure out why he hasn't called. His fingers isn't broke and he knew how to call me before. Maybe it is like Betty said and he was after one thing. I promised myself I wasn't going into it for the sex or rush things. Maybe he wasn't feeling me on that despite the foreplay, maybe he wanted more but at this point I am just not willing to give it. Since I have issues with disclosure, I was trying to go about it the right way and not rush into sex. Get to know him first and give him the choice when I was ready to disclose but if he can't go a month without some ass then I wasn't the right one for him. I told my bff that I would give him one more week which would be next Friday. If I don't hear from him by then, oh well. I will stick to my guns but I think I will switch up and strictly look for a poz man. That will cancel out the issue about disclosure and it will truly be about getting to know a person. Not to worry, I am not depressed in the least and I can go back to pornos and my vibrator. Hmm, I better make sure I have some batteries...

Nothing planned for tonight. My roomie went grocery shopping for me so I am waiting for her to get done cooking some shrimp. I am watching Smackdown as I write this(recording it too). I will prolly burn another cd for my roomie. I think I am going to hang late tonight and sleep in tomorrow.

Listen to me, finding a good man when I was in my early 20's was rough. I was married for a portion of my 30s. It's always tough dating before that, I was so particular. . I''m kidding, but not kidding fight club. There must be a group (no pretending) that you can join. MY dog park, i swear, got me to meet so many people. If you told me that 10 years ago I would be friends with a dog park i WOULD have disputed the whole thing...or wow you didn't listen to my bands (public enemy, de la soul, the pixies)

The court (Metaphorically) has many issues dating; it's complicated and its not. The one thing i have to say which is chiche "God Save The Queen"

Wini--- Girl, I know how hard it is to find a poz man especially over here. There are hidden like I am. I have been saying I am going to find one since Christy started this thread. Yep, it's Deja Vu cause I am saying it again. I have given up on neg men and the disclosure issue is too much of a fence for me to be trying to do a balancing act on anymore. I don't need the stress and sure I would like a good stiff one up in me but I will make due with my toy til the right one comes along. I went 3 years the last time so it's not like it is going to kill me.

Camm- Uh, You need to come visit my quaint little town. There isn't jack going on here. I'm not into the bars so I don't go there. Lately they have been shutting them down for one reason or another. And it is winter and I may be a January baby but I hate the cold. Summer is my time of the year and when I am most active. I plan on getting out then for sure. Even if I have to take my laptop into Mcdonalds which I see has gone Wi-Fi now. I'm not the Starbuck's type of person. Uh, can you see me in there with the college kids...*LOL*

I don't know what I'd do if I had to go back to the dating scene. I wasn't so good at when i before and got married when i was 20. Now, at 35 with 6 kids, I don't even think I'd try. Kudos to all of you are putting yourselves out there. You have WAY more courage than i ever could.

Blessed: congrats on Jordan's birth! Look at all that hair!

Hubby's making breakfast: bacon, eggs, biscuits..YUM!! #3 and #5 are signing up to play coach's pitch and t-ball today. I'm still not feeling up to par. Feels like things are starting to break up, but with more snow today, lungs'll fill up again in no time.

I checked online and Iceman's plane landed, so he should be calling soon. I played Guitar Hero for 5 hours last night. My big thing now is trying not to miss a note, lol. There are a dozen songs where I miss maybe 2 to 5 notes, its cool, lol.

OK, guess I should comment on the dating issue here, since I have dated and dated and dated until I was blue in the face. I joined Match.com and Yahoo Personals many times, never even looking at the poz sites until last year. I feel that I have gone through what many of you fear -- the disclosure thing -- and I have gone through it many times. I know this is a huge issue for all of us, but I wanted to share, all the same, even though I am in a relationship now.

I guess I never questioned whether or not I would disclose. My husband didn't give me a choice, so being the Scorpio that I am, I was determined to "tell the truth" when it came to dating. My husband passed in August '96 and a mutual friend of ours was grieving with me. He and I had gone to HS together for a few years, and he knew my husband from way back in elementary school, before I was around. He and I started hanging out and watching live bands together, running into each other at the same local hangout, just like we did before, except my husband wasn't around now, of course. One night, the friend asked if I would go to dinner with him. We had our first date in late Nov. '96, only three months after my husband had died.

Can you imagine the emotions that I felt racing through my body and mind? I was grieving my husband's death, oh GOD, was I grieving, but here was someone reaching out to hold me up, who wanted to spend time with me. We started becoming wildly attracted to each other and I knew what I had to do. Our first date was around Thanksgiving, and by Dec. 10, 1996 or so, my first disclosure EVER was staring me in the face. I was diagnosed in Dec. 93 and hadn't told ANYONE yet, not even family. No one even knew what my husband had really died from except for my in-laws who had just buried their son.

So, one evening the "BF to be" told me he was falling in love with me and I knew what I had to do. We hadn't had sex yet, it had only been about three weeks since all of this had started. I was scared to death because I went to HS with this guy, and my town TALKS. This is the town where my HS is, where my parents still live, but I had moved up the road since HS, not far, though.

I disclosed and started shedding tears. I knew I risked rejection, I knew I risked everyone in town knowing if this guy told even one person who would spread this private info. The BF accepted me and we dated for about three more months. We had a lot of fun, and for me it was nice to have someone to talk to. Did he ever tell anyone in my hometown? I don't know, but I seem to think that over the years word got back via speculation over my husband's sudden death. And now since my ex best friend opened her mouth a few years back, I am sure everyone has known since 2002. (Ha, I still look better than any of them, the bitches.... ) Funny, I let this guy go because he wasn't responsible with financial issues and drinking. He was going through a rough patch and needed to pick himself up. I helped as best as I could, but it wasn't for me to do, a new widow, with problems of her own. Still, we had a great time while it lasted.

I'll type the next part of my Dating History in my next post. I guess I want my main point to be this......You have to come out of your shell and toughen up. You have to learn over the years that you can live with this virus and that you still have choices. I never "hid" from disclosing, rather I withdrew from being as social as I could have been with GFs. But I always had dates, I always had rejection, but most of it was from someone new that I had just met, so it wasn't as bad. My heart wasn't "fully invested" with most of these guys at that point. It got easier to deal with cause I knew it wasn't me, it was them, not knowing enough about the virus. Mentally, I became very strong, I think a lot of you know that about me from my posts here. I also believed that "this was the way it was supposed to be." If a man turned tail and didn't call me anymore, then he was too weak for me anyway. If a guy really cared about you, wouldn't he at least have some questions regarding your health and well-being?

Take Jay, from last summer for example. He was scared by the virus, but is/was mature enough to still respect me, and WAS mature enough to admit his fears openly. He gave me the chance to educate him, to speak up and to let him make the choice. I had no control over him, I didn't want to be a leg-humper when he decided being in a relationship would be too much. That's when I found out that he just wanted to have a good time. And that's OK, he was getting out of a 20+ year marriage, and hell, he deserved a breather. He just felt that if we were to take it to the next level and be intimate, that he would have to more committed.

Does that make sense? In the end he respected me by being honest, and I know if I run into him at the mall or a restaurant, I could introduce Iceman to him and all would be well. It takes a mature man to give us women what we want. I think a lot of you will find that out as you get older. BTW, Jay is 49 and Iceman is 45, I am 38. I think that's where the difference has been for me, dating the ones that are a little bit older.

OK, my own little saga will continue next time. I really hope it helps to inspire those of you who are struggling with disclosure and dating. I have been through A LOT, over many years, and it wasn't easy. Just be determined and set your sights HIGH (no, not THAT kinda high, Queen ), but you get my drift here.

Viv, I'm so sorry about your dog. I've had to put a few pets down over the years, and it's always devastating. Thanks for that picture. What a cute little dog.

Alright, about the whole dating thing.......

Maybe I feel like I do because I'm an old, jaded woman. I really could care less about the whole disclosure issue. I try to look at things like that from two-sides. If I was neg, dating someone who was poz and he/she didn't disclose to me, well, it probably wouldn't make a difference. Of course, I'm very liberal and open-minded about such things. I spent my teen-age years and a lot of my 20's at the doctor's office with some new STD. Even got a couple of them from my first husband. Oh well. That was on me for not protecting myself.

About meeting people. I know we can all get lonely. I've always seen sex as a little different from luv. I personally wouldn't have to be 'in love' to have sex with someone. And like Queen says, we all know how to pleasure ourselves. Nothing wrong with that. I can talk very openly about such matters to people. I have a (very) few close friends. And I talk about HIV stuff with them openly. But I'm like that. I don't do internet dating sites. I want to actually see the person, and one's never guaranteed that over the webs; even if they have a picture up, who knows if it's really that person or not. And even though I'm a liberal and open-minded, I don't necessarily trust what someone puts on profiles on the net. I've communicated on pozpersonals a couple times. Nothing romantic though. I've never let it go there. Just made a couple friends who I communicate with sometimes.

Let me add, I'm also pretty happy with being by myself. At this point I don't know if I'd want to invest my extra energy into a relationship. Sometimes they can be a lot of work. I realize we're all at different stages in our lives. Some people feel that a good relationship makes them complete. I'm not one of those people. I'm not downing relationships either; far from it. I think we should all do what makes us happy.

Where to meet people? Who knows. I just know that I'm not about to change for anyone-not anyone. So, whoever wants to get it on with me, has to accept all my sick humor, extreme open-mindedness etc.

OK, I've said my peace. I'll check back in later.

Logged

I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Viv- sorry about your pup, he looks adorable. I have a pound puppy; well she's not a puppy anymore, she'll be 8yrs this Sept 15. Her name is Maggie May.

Yesterday My marked two weeks since my husband's passing, and it was rough. I went to 3 AA meetings just to keep me busy. I'm almost four years sober and i don't want to screw that up.

Betty- i agree I'm pretty happy just being with me at the time being. besides how much alone time can i get with three daughters. But it's nice. I've always been married and now i think I'll just be with me.However i do miss adult conversation. but I get plenty of that from my Meetings. So it balances out.

Mum- you got a good man if he's cooking breakfast. I know how tiring the ball thing can be I have three daughters and they are all playing ball this spring. practice starts tomorrow.

I have a major problem, My husband and i owned our own business and since his death _his brother has been working for me, but come to find out he is stealing jobs and doing them and not telling me , so there for I'm losing out on that money, and I've got to find a way to approach him on this issue with out it blowing up in my face. I know my husband would be pissed off and would fire him. Any suggestions?

But besides all that. everything is good. I hope all you have a great day and I'll check in later.Paulette

Paulette-Sorry to hear your brother in law is doing that to you, that is the last thing you need right now. My suggestion to you would be to tell him straight out that you know what he is doing behind your back and that if he will not under any circumstances be covered by your insurance. I know you mentioned trees in a previous post, I am not sure if it is climbing, all take downs, whatever- there are too many things that could happen that you don't want your business named tied to. If he wonders how you find out say someone left you a message regarding an additional job to one that he did behind your back- something like that. Good Luck! If you don't mind me asking, what state are you in?Good Luck,Snow

I know my husband would be pissed off and would fire him. Any suggestions?

Paulette, that's exactly what you need to do. Fire his ass. He's stealing from you.

I don't give a rat's ass who knows I'm positive. At least I know, which is a lot more than most can say about their status. Foxtrot Charlie was pretty much outed by our local media and wagging tongues in the pub. When we started seeing each other again, the people who only thought they knew about me or guessed had their suspicions confirmed. If they have a problem with it, it's THEIR problem, not mine. I'm happier than I've been in years and the rest can go stuff themselves. They don't pay my bills.... I do.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Paulette - the advice you've gotten so far sounds pretty good to me. I'd certainly let him know you are aware he is taking jobs from the company and working on the side to do them. Its up to you if you want to fire him or give him a warning. Your company certainly should not be liable if he has an accident that's for sure. Sorry your husbands brother is being a tool.

As for dating.... I never dated anyone who wasn't positive after my husband Michael died. I talked to quite a few men online and the majority of the ones I was interested in seemed to live at least 300 miles away. I dated some men locally with only a couple who where remotely promising. I met Billy through my hetero social group. He's older than the men I normally dated. He is 13 years my senior. But he is youthful and I have really enjoyed his company and companionship. Its the best relationship I have ever been in.

I went out socially before I began dating but I never met anyone who I was really interested in. There where plenty of boys around but they where just fun to hang out with. I never told any of them I was HIV positive. It just didn't seem necessary. I think if I'd not been positive I would have likely did more than dance with a few fella's but being positive made me more conservative with my behavior. I didn't have the guts to tell anyone I was hiv positive and risk being rejected. But in my case its a good thing because in hindsight those boys where just too young for me. They wouldn't be able to give me the committed mature relationship I want.

I've been honest about Mini's HIV. When we brought her home from the hospital, the only people who knew were us and my parents. We didnt' want to say anything to the people at church or our friends for 2 reasons: #1: if she ended up being negative, we'd have to go back and explain it them, and #2: I felt that if people "fell in love" with her then finding out she was positive wouldn't change that. Naive, but it was all I had to hang on to at the time. Now, we don't make it a PSA everytime she walks into a room, but if someone asks, we tell them. Most are genuinly suprised. So far, so good.

Our biggest reason is to show other people that pozzies aren't scary, mean, threatening, ugly, deviant people. They are normal people who "happen" to have HIV. We didn't want Mini growing up thinking that she had some dreaded hateful "thing" in her that dominated and dictated who she is. So, we don't keep "it" or her in a closet.

Paulette: if hubby wants anything other than cereal, he better be cooking it This is the 1st year we've played Spring ball. I'm not looking forward to it. Seems like all we do is run run run and I'm not a good runner. No sooner does ball end then football for our oldest starts. That's practise 4 days / week and games every Saturday for 10wks. Some of the games are outta state so loading up the crew and dragging them all over doesn't make for very happy bunch.

Paulette, I am a hard ass and agree with Ann about firing the brother-in-law. He would be getting just what he deserved. On the other hand, perhaps you need him, or would it be easy to hire others in his place? I would fire him. He is being unfair to you, very unfair, taking advantage of you. At least write his ass up for the record.

Win, you are echoing a lot of what I posted earlier today about disclosure. You are dating someone who is older, is mature, and probably has more life experiences to share with you. I'm glad you know what I mean, older guys aren't so bad. Iceman is hyper and bouncing off the walls all of the time! I don't know where he gets the energy!

Speaking of energy, I have skipped the AA meeting that Iceman is chairing. I have become VERY tired tonight, can barely keep my eyes open. A few people had intestinal flu at the office this past week, and said they slept and slept. I feel fine except for being tired. My body doesn't even ache. Maybe I just need my rest. So, I am at Iceman's while he is out at his meeting, being the speaker dude and all. I am so proud of him. We talked about this and we both agreed that we would rather have me attend his regular group where he's been going for years. That way I can meet people he knows. He'll be back in an hour or so, I will try to make us some dinner and not do a header into the oven.

Mum~ I don't know how you do it with all of those kids. I think you have it down to a science by now! What big hearts you and hubby have!

Viv~ Sorry about your puppy, I'm assuming you just put him down, or has it been awhile? I put Casie down in April, I can't believe Cheech and I have carried on 9 months without her. I know I'll see her again, though. I just have to be patient. Hang in there.

Snow - I live in Georgia. And he is covered under the company ins. We are a full tree removal service. I go to the tax accountant and the Probate Lawyer Next week, so maybe they will help me figure the right way to handle this, I can't fire him, a good climber is hard to find. However I did ask him about it and he said that he had a check for me so Maybe he's not trying to pull one over or maybe he knows he caught. I told him i didn't have a problem Selling My company, because my husband wouldn't like what was going on. And really i just don't want to deal with it. It's too painfull, I'm use to having my husband around helping with.

Thank all of you for your support and suggestions.

Moon- i hope your not getting that nasty flu bug going around. Have some soup and get some rest.Mum- i think what you two are doing for Mini is one of the most unselfish things anyone could do. Mini is truly blessed to have loving parents as you.

I'm with Ann I don't care who knows my status, I'm not ashamed of what i have. But I've never had to face rejection either for being positive. Because my late husband knew my status, but was able to look beyond the HIV to see me for who i am and not what i had, Now mind you he was 18 years my senior. ( But momma always said it was better to be and old man's darling than a young man slave.) And i can say my husband treated me better than the other 3 did.

Not much going on Today it's cold and blah outside. Went shopping with my 17 year old for her birthday on Feb. 27th Man they grow up so quickly. Ladies I hope ya'll are having a great Saturday Night and that all is well.Paulette

My little Mabel (the Westie) died in October. I never mentioned it before because I was still "getting to know" you all. She was almost 4. She had a seizure one night and died in my bed. It was very traumatic. She had just started some medication that my other dog had been on many times before. I did not have an autopsy done and I wish I would've. I think it was a reaction to the medication because she was totally healthy. It took a while for myself and my other dog, Vivian to adjust. I totally related to the sadness you felt about your dog, Cindy. Now sometimes I worry about Vivian up and dying. Sigh...I am much better now but sometimes I see one of Mabel's little toys and get sad. I want to attach another picture of Vivian and I am still trying to figure out how to get to my computer...LOL in case you haven't figured it out I am not very "techy"

Going out tonight with an old friend. It started raining here again and I hate it. It sucks for the Oscar's tomorrow because it is still supposed to rain.

Just popping in right quick to say, I have been reading posts and just not saying much. Nothing going on at the moment to report. I was up around 8ish( and I mean am not pm) cleaning the house. I think was possessed by my sister's ocd or something.. Later on today, I will be mopping the kitchen and bathroom floors. Seems like all I have been doing is cleaning and sleeping, not sure what that is about. In between the cleaning, I watch a bit of tv and play my game. At the moment, I am giving my hand a rest from playing the games but I am bored shitless because there isn't anything on tv. I'll prolly be on the sidelines til I have something worth reporting or commenting in the other forums. Just know that I am around...

Yes, my sisters, the clock does not lie. It's just after 5am and I've been up for a while. #5 had an accident in his bed. Sweet thing stripped his sheets, put them in the hamper, changed his clothes, then crawled into bed with us. AWWWWW! Except he likes to sleep all over the place and his feet were like ice and the noise he makes when he sucks his thumb drives me batty. So, i couldn't breathe anyway and had to pee, so now I'm up trying to get all this crap to drain. I'll be ready to go back to bed just about the time everyone gets up. I'll end up taking a nap this afternoon.

We watched "Michael Clayton" last night. It wasn't bad - kinda slow and not much action, but it had a good story line. I guess that's the equavalent of saying, "he's got a great personality" Tonight, we're watching "Rendition". I did get to finish "American Gangster". It was a really good movie. I wish I had time to watch it again before we have to turn it back in, but it's due on Monday

Other than that, my life is pretty boring. Oh, Paulette, I did want to say that, if I were you, I'd talk to your bil and see what he has to say. THEN fire him! We own our business, also,and I can't imagine the betrayal of someone, especially a family member, stealing from us.

Queen: I've been in one of those cleaning frenzies, too. Not sure what's up with that.

Queen I wish I could get one of those cleaning whirlwind...I really need to...LOL! I am surrounded by paperwork. Well last night I went out to dinner with an old friend. It was nice to reconnect. I ran into her and her mother this summer just when I was starting to come back from pneumonia and wasn't looking emaciated. She asked about me being sick and I just told her what I tell everyone...had pneumonia and reacted badly to the medicine. I did not tell her about my status and I am not sure when I will. I know we have talked about disclosure to guys but what about friends? None of my friends know and I am afraid to tell them. I thought maybe I could tell my partner teacher at school, we have been working together for 7 years, but she made a comment that changed my mind. I was telling her how much weight I had lost and how terrible I looked. I told her how my mom didn't want me to go anywhere and she (the teacher) said, "Yeah, you wouldn't want people to think you were dying from AIDS." Well that is exactly what was happening. Once she said that I knew I could never say anything. So I guess what I am saying is that it is just as difficult to disclose to friends as well. How long did take you to tell people other then your family?

Speaking of being up at ungodly hours. Ugh, I woke up at 8am for no reason. I rolled a doobie and played one of my games for a minute trying to go back to sleep. I felt like I was in some type of twillight sleep. So, I just now crawled out of bed to get a glass of Pepsi and my roomie comes out bright eyed and bushy tailed talking about breakfast. I said what are you cooking? She said I thought you were....HA HA HA HA HA, not likely. I feel like one of the zombies in the movies I love so much. I'm back in bed and watching Purple Rain, I recorded it last night. I think I am going to burn the soundtrack later so I can have something to listen to when I mop the floors later.

I swear I need to buy the Purple Rain dvd....*sings Take Me With You*....Peace Ladies, will be back later...May U Live 2 see the Dawn...

Edited to add some Purple Trivia---- When Prince first formed Vanity 6 (the girl group), he was going to name Vanity, Vagina because she was considered the female equivalent to him..Hmmm, I know we got vaginas but I don't think I would've appreciated being called a pussy....*LOL*..

Hello ladies. Not much going on here, just enjoying a day off work. Actually I have tomorrow off as well. I am going shopping in Greensboro. Viv, I have only told one person , other than family, my status and that was still very hard. It would depend on how much you can trust that person, especially someone that you work with. I do admit I am kinda mistrustful of people but they have proven again and again , that I need to be. Paulette, that is a difficult situation you have. If you can replace him, then fire him. Basically he is stealing from you and taking advantage. Not right. Hop[e you can work it out. Betty, I find dating very difficult. I did decide not to mess with my oldest son's father. Is Liz the same girl you were dating before or a new lady? Whichever, I hope you will be happy. Not much going on, just relaxing. Later, Ladies. Cristy

Paulette, fire his ass! He's stealing from you and you don't know what he's doing on the jobs he takes. You don't want your good name being drug through the mud.

Mum, I totally feel ya on the 'I look like crap, I feel like crap...' Yes, the shower I had today was my only saving grace.

Cin, I hope you don't get sick.

Cristy, I understand it might be difficult to disclose in a job-situation. Especially if you've ever heard an off-the-wall comment about HIV and you need to keep your job. I don't have that problem right now and I just flat out tell the people in my classes, but that's a different situation.

Queen, I don't know if you read my reply earlier on (actually I think it was a little while ago now) that I think I did download the yahoo IM, but I have no idea how to use it. And after I did I got a new toolbar. Did this happen to you? Oh, I love Purple Rain. Did you record it on a DVD? I got a new DVD player 2 Christmas's ago and I never checked out whether you can record with one or not. Hell, I don't even know how to burn a disc off the music I download on my computer. And my computer will do it; I just don't know how to do those kinds of things. I liked Prince ever since his first lp came out with him on the cover shirtless. Do you remember his hair back then?

OK ladies, I had a really good weekend. A friend of mine came in from out-of-town, and let's just say everything went really, really good. Nuf said. Well, that person left about 2:00 this afternoon, and then I went to an NA sponsor/sponsee lunch. It was all good. People seem to respect us all when we go out somewhere. I guess they know better than to mess with the NA sisterhood. I'm off to check out the rest of the threads. Tonight my brother comes over for 'The Wire.' I haven't breathed a word of anything to him. Have a good one ladies.

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Just had dinner at Iceman's, we have been a couple of hermits all weekend. Let's just say it was a very warm morning, didn't get breakfast until 1230pm. I don't feel sick with a bug or anything, but have been sleeping a lot, maybe its just because we've been on the couch all day. Maybe I need to refuel from being blasted into my new job and kicking ass.

Hi everyone,I can't believe the weekend is already over. I hate that ABC's Extreme Home Makeover wasn't on tonight because of the awards, that is one show I look forward to. We went and met my parents for lunch and picked up my mothers dog so we can "dogsit". My parents got divorced back in 91 and my father recently left his wife and he and my mother have started talking again so it is really strange to see them back together. They aren't together together they are just talking, I guess. I then took my older son ice skating. It was his first time and my first time in like 10-15 years, I am going to be in so much pain tomorrow. He did really good though but he picks all that kind of stuff up really quick. I just took the dogs out to the bathroom and it is beautiful night out with tons of stars in the sky.

If the relationship I am in doesn't last, there is no in hell I am getting into another one. I am SO done.

I disclosed to one male friend that I used to work with and he took it well, he kind of had an idea for some reason, I think because I had to go by him to go to the bathroom, the one million times I went. It went OK but then it didn't because then he wanted a relationship with me even though he was married. Not a good scene.

I sure wish I had a relative in Georgia and they were the winner of the 200 million mega million drawing. That would be so sweet.

Mini- I hope you are feeling better.

Moon- sounds like you had a nice restful weekend Glad to hear Iceman made it home safe and sound. I have a John Edwards book I just read that was pretty good, if you want me to snail mail it to you. It's the Crossing Over one.

Betty- Glad you had a good weekend, sounds like it was just what you needed.

Viv- Your doggy was so cute, I am so sorry to hear she passed away.

Paulette-See if your BIL wants to buy you out, so you don't have deal with the BS. You are right, good climbers are hard to find. That type of business is too dangerous to have someone working for you whose head is not 100% in the game(your game). It took just one time for the ground man to walk toward the chipper with my line tangled in his load and me in the tree, for me to give my notice. He was a good one for throwing his chainsaw around in fits of anger, so it was time anyway. I wish you the best in whatever you figure out, hopefully you can get some sound advice this week from your attorney.

cjc- Hope you have lot of fun shopping tomorrow. Shopping can be very theraputic

Camille- I used to like PE and De la too. I crashed my truck into a tree in an ice storm while I was playing 911 is a joke It was very sad. I used have a big crush on Big Daddy Kane.

I see a lot of us are in our 30's. Does anyone else have problem with breakouts or acne? I had acne when i was in high school and it has reared it's ugly head again. I have been under a lot of stress lately so that maybe why but I was just wondering if anyone else has any problems.

Snow - I rarely had any skin problems when I was a teen. The last few years and especially this last year I've consistantly had at the very least one zit somewhere on my Tzone. My chin, nose and forehead. I couldnt tell you how many I have right this minute but its a bunch. Most of it I can easily cover if I wear makeup but I hardly ever wear any unless I'm going out or expecting my picture to be taken.

Billy and I took Amber (expectant mommy of the grandbaby) out to lunch today. She is at the hospital right now having her labor induced. I have no clue how long it will take for her to have the baby. I know she is certainly ready to have the baby out of her. LOL

Yesterday it was sunny out, today it's back to being grey. I guess that wouldn't be so bad if it weren't so damn cold. I have got to do laundry today. I've been putting it off long enough. I did get my ethics paper done at like 1:00 a.m. Today I have to study for an exam in my social psych class. Not something I even want to do. But, I need to quit fretting about it and just do it.

Queen, I saw 'The Wire' last night and I must say I'm surprised about how Omar was killed. I didn't even recognize who that kid was that shot him. And it looks like some shit's going to hit the fan in the newest episode. There's only two episodes left, I can't believe it. Hey, if you didn't yet, read my last entry here. I said a couple things about yahoo IM.

Snow, I had problems with breakouts when I was a teen. I've not had them in my adult years (oh, I'm 42). However, I just started the Depo shot and I understand it can cause problems with such. I hear you on the relationships things. I'm not in one myself, but they are tons of work. I'm not knocking relationships for those of us who are in one. What I'm saying is that they're too much for me. At least right now in my life. I don't want to have to worry about another person either (how they're feeling, will they like this etc.). I hope yours works out, if that's what you want.

Wendy, I'm anxiously awaiting to hear about your daughter-in-law. It can't be far off now.

OK ladies, I'm off to check out the threads. I'll check back in later-

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Not much still to report. Kevin called today but I didn't even answer the phone. I guess I just felt some type of way that he waited a week to call me. You would think he would've left a message but he didn't. And now all of a sudden his fingers work, huh, go figure. An explanation would've been nice.

Betty-- You don't have to have the Yahoo tool bar when you download the messenger. I thought there was an option that you could've chosen to not download it. I believe you have Vista on your computer, right? Just click on the Start button. If you don't want it still, you can go into your Control Panel and click on the add/remove programs, it'll show a list of everything on your computer, highlight the Yahoo tool bar and click remove. It will not affect how your messenger works. Sorry for not answering that earlier for you.

The young buck who took Omar out was one of the kids on a previous episode who commented on how he didn't see why everyone was scared of Omar and called him gimpy as hell. I thought Marlo put him up to killing Omar but he didn't, the young buck did it to make a rep for himself and pretty much saved Marlo the $250,000 hit he put on Omar. Damn only 2 episodes left, I'm going to be lost now til The Tudors come on Showtime on March 30.

Congrats is in order for Grams Winiroo. Was it a boy or a girl? Did someone mention Public Enemy? God, I was so into them back in the day. I loved Chuck D and Terminator X(the DJ) and I thought Flav was funny as hell even though I liked his song with them called Cold Lampin with Flav. I liked De La Soul too but especially Me, myself and I. But til this day, I still love me some Tupac but the stuff he did when he was alive not the shit they put out after he died. I have his alias Makaveli tatted on my right leg, I got it done shortly after he was killed. I have his 2 documentaries he did, 3 lighters and a chain that I had got for my bday this year from my bff. At the moment, I am listening to his song, "Are U still down" with Jon B. I made the cd yesterday along with some Digital Underground, the group he started out with. My roomie is out today so I have my walkman on my ears just bobbing around the crib. Next up is some Ludacris and Tony,Toni,Tone (winking @cindy).

I bought the walkman yesterday. I am motivated to do things when I got music on my ears. Once the snow melts, I will be doing more walking. I talked to my sister yesterday so she is going to bring me the application to the Y so I can start working out. Gotta have some buns of steel for them dukes when it gets warm...

Well, I'm on my way out of here, listening to some 50 cent w/ Ludacris, "I get money". Don't I wish... Peace-----

Hey ladies..AWWW Queen you must have not watched the newest On Demand of the WIre...i wont ruin it for u but im upset...

Nothing to report here either..oh accept that i got into a fight with bf's baby mama..the bitch was asking for it but I was totally outta character... *shame on me*.. Anyways ill be back on tomorrow..Have a wonderful night..

Sorry to hear you got into it with the bf's baby mama. Sometimes when you try to not get involved, hood rats take it as a sign of weakness. It may have been out of character for you but sometimes you have to put your foot down, Wishful. For the most part, they usually aren't doing anything but selling wolf tickets. When dealing with men who have that issue, I like to tell them they should deal with it before I have to. There are boundaries and when the hood rats overstep it, I am there to tell them to back the fuck up and find another way to deal with their problems without stepping over the line, ya know.

I thought I got caught up on The Wire. I watched it last night and it was the same one as what is On Demand. Here it is episode 58.

Queen, the new ones come on at midnight...i usually have an insomniac attack about 2-3 am and when it happens sunday night /monday am i watch the Wire....Yes girl watch it right now!!! You can tell its the last season..I wish it wasnt

Oh yeah and baby mama was just askin for :oit..talkin about, "tell her ...., tell her..u dont want to be with her" and she got mad when he didnt say it..and im not one to argue so i punched her upside the head so she could shut the f up...

Queen, the new ones come on at midnight...i usually have an insomniac attack about 2-3 am and when it happens sunday night /monday am i watch the Wire....Yes girl watch it right now!!! You can tell its the last season..I wish it wasnt

Oh yeah and baby mama was just askin for :oit..talkin about, "tell her ...., tell her..u dont want to be with her" and she got mad when he didnt say it..and im not one to argue so i punched her upside the head so she could shut the f up...

Ah, so you laid the smackdown, huh...*smiles*. So, it's drama about him being with you and not even involving their kid, don't you hate that shit.

I did get the laundry done. So glad that's over. The laundermat wasn't really all that crowded. But the girl who was working started this long, boring conversation. I tried to keep it short & simple. I've studied a couple times for the test I'll be taking tomorrow night. I'm not going to stress over it. Whatever happens happens.

I'm thinking Wendy must be at the hospital with the new babe & mother. I hope everything went alright.

Queen, do you remember Prince's first album where he was shirtless? I loved his hair on that album (still have a visual of it). Right now I'm listening to 'Black and Blue' by Van Halen. I just love sex songs.

Wish, sorry you had trouble with what sounds like a wretched woman. Sometimes you just gotta put people in their place and stand up for yourself.

Other than that, nothing else to report. I'll probably check back in later. Have a good one ladies-

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Tired tonight, air didn't work right at the office, kept blowing too warm. By 430pm I was delirious and sick to my stomach (ready to take my clothes off, too), so I left earlier than planned. Sugar woke me last night with a cold sweat at only 40, today it was up and down and then the hot air thing just zapped me of any strength I had.

Going to go shower and then talk to the building maintenance man to fix that shit tomorrow. I can't work or control my sugars when my body is trying to cool down and it can't. It was like a sauna in there, no windows to open. I am going to be a smart-ass and take my thermometer with me tomorrow. I am VERY sensitive to a warm office. I get all prickly and feel like I'm gonna hurl.

Win- Mine have mostly been on my cheeks especially when I get my period. I have started to use makeup to cover them and the bags under my eyes I guess it's time I figured out how to wear makeup? Hope everything went well with Amber and the new baby. Is Billy excited?

Betty- I love your new avatar too, that is funny! You must be happy to get your paper done. As far as my relationship goes I hope to be able to figure some stuff out in therapy and get his ass to go too. If things don't change then I am just going to have to change things, if you know what I mean. If I am going to be talking to myself, I mights well be alone

Wish- I know you hate to go there but sometimes you just have to shut people up. Nothing gets on my nerves more then someone repeating something over and over and still not making any sense. That sucks you have to deal with that shit. Have you thought anymore about culinary school?

Queen- Wasn't the kid that got Omar the same one that stole the stash from ( Damn, I can't remember his name, his daddys in jail, he had a pony tail and then had it braided, ended up living with the ex-cop that was teaching) I can't wait to see the next one, hopefully tonight. Maybe that is what I need to get one of those things you can put all the songs onto and start walking again. Remember Chubster, Wrecks N' Effect, Kwame- they were all like one hit wonders My memory is shot but I am going to have to do some digging. I loved Tupac too. OOOhhh....Too Short, his lyrics were always nasty

I didn't get much done today. My son threw up at school so I went and picked him up and then took him to the doc. His back was still hurting so they x-rayed him and took some blood. The x-rays were fine, we will find out about the labs in a couple of days. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. The irrational part of me always thinks OH OH, I hope he didn't make him sick someway, but I think that is always going to be in the back of head no matter how many times I tell myself not to think that way. I read to the kids before bed and then got some good pics of my daughter laying on my moms dog like she is a pillow. My daughter has done that since she is little and it always makes me smile. Take care everyone...let's all start thinking spring-ful thoughts maybe it will come sooner Snow

Queen- Wasn't the kid that got Omar the same one that stole the stash from ( Damn, I can't remember his name, his daddys in jail, he had a pony tail and then had it braided, ended up living with the ex-cop that was teaching) I can't wait to see the next one, hopefully tonight. Maybe that is what I need to get one of those things you can put all the songs onto and start walking again. Remember Chubster, Wrecks N' Effect, Kwame- they were all like one hit wonders Smiley My memory is shot but I am going to have to do some digging. I loved Tupac too. OOOhhh....Too Short, his lyrics were always nasty Smiley

I'm not sure about the kid stealing the stash, I must've missed that one. I watched episode 59, the latest one tonight, per the request of Wishful. All I will say is that the shit is about to hit the fan. Betty, did you watch it yet or are you waiting on your brother?

All this old skool rap is bringing back memories. Uh, the Chubster was Chubb Rock, right? I loved his song "Treat 'Em Right", Wrecks N' Effect it was "Rump Shaker" and I thought something else, and I just adored Kwame with the polka dots and his song, "Only Ewe" but I also liked "The Rhythm". And I have always liked Too Short his one song, "Bad Ways" is still my anthem!!! I also like EPMD's "Please Listen to my Demo", the one they did with LL and a whole bunch more. Do you remember 3XDope and their song, "Funky Dividends?" And how about 3rd Bass which had the Jewish white boy who could dance. I remembered they came here with Public Enemy once and P. E. got booed off the stage. I was pissed!!! Ah, so many memories, I could go on forever. I was at the height of my popularity as a female DJ back then....*sighs*

Yup. Chubb Rock.Oh yeah...see I loved all those... I am going to have to see if I can find them. You were a DJ? That is cool, you are definately the one to ask about songs then I guess I liked some of the old Queen Latifah and MC Lyte, too. OOOhhh....Ladies first, ladies first. Not that they were rappers but for some reason I just thought of the whole Mili Vanili scam...ha, ha. They used to make me laugh dancing around in thier tights , God, there were some other white guys that had a couple of good songs, they used to play into the ground. I can't remember who they were, oh, this is going to bug me. Jump around? maybe? I don't why I am trying to remember back then I can hardly remember yesterday.

Cin, I hope you get to feeling better. Do you have one of those little fans you can take in and put on your desk?

Snow, I hope your son is doing better. I don't want a relationship because of all the work they require. I'm not dogging them. Just sayin' it doesn't fit in with my schedule. I hope things work for you for the good. I know they will. You just hang tough, girlie.

Queen, I haven't watched the new episode of 'The Wire' yet, but I hope to tonight. I might not be in town this weekend. NA is having a convention in Indianapolis and my bff has offered to pay for it for me. I haven't decided on it yet; I hate to owe people. I bet you had a lot of fun being a DJ. Would love to hear some stories about it. I'm sure you have a few.

I don't really know the groups you all are talking about. I remember when Run-DMC first came out. I loved their music. I also bought the soundtrack from 'Colors' when it came out. I loved it and wish I could remember who sang that song from the movie "Go On Girl." If anyone knows, I'd love to see if Napster has it and download it.

I don't really have anything new or exciting to report. Just another night. Have a good evening ladies-

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow