Friday, October 7, 2016

It's Okay To Be Sad

Overall, I really am doing well with The Girl Child at college. However, there has been an underlying sadness I can't seem to shake. I go throughout my day, content with life and enjoying my writing. The four of us are settling in to a new daily flow of life.

I'm a pretty jovial person by nature. Sadness isn't my normal MO.

So, it's foreign to me. I woke up last weekend with a relaxing Saturday ahead of me. I lounged in bed reading, got up and made breakfast, then got dressed and went out shopping. It was a beautiful day. 75 degrees and sunny. I strolled an outdoor shopping center near home by myself. (The Hubby was visiting his dad and the boys were still asleep.) It was lovely.

And yet, I found myself teary at times. Nothing sparked it. Nothing happened to make me emotional. I just was. I tend to analyze things. A lot. I tried to pinpoint why I was feeling the way I was feeling. And in that moment I felt God near. As if He grabbed my hand and said, "It's okay to be sad. I'm here. Just be with me."

I learned at an early age that peace and pain can co-exist. In my sadness, God is there. His peace can co-exist with my sadness. I can curl up next to Him and just be. I'm a do-er. A problem solver. But I'm seeing the advantage in letting go and letting God figure out the details.

My husband's favorite phrase to us is "We know the ending."

As I strolled from shop to shop in the sunshine, I accepted that there is a TON of change happening in my life right now. It's a new season. Not just my first child flying from the nest, but decisions to make as a parent of two other children, as well as just...life. And I'm figuring out where I fit in to this new normal. My kids still need me on some levels, but the levels are different than they were before. And that's taking some adjustment on my part. Adjustment can be painful, even sad, but I know the ending. I know God is near.

For now, it's okay to be sad. It won't last. It will pass. Until then, I'll curl up close to God and just be.

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About Lara

Lara is a published author and public speaker with a degree in journalism. Writing stories since she was a young girl, Lara’s dream of being a novelist became a reality with her Men of Honor Series. A lover of movies, music, art, travel, baseball, CrossFit and her dog, Lara lives in California with her husband, teenage daughter, and teenage twin boys.