“When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.” ~ Hunter S. Thompson

Here I am, less than 24 hours before my flight from Hartford, Connecticut takes off for Denver, Colorado with of course, a layover somewhere in the middle because I love flying and the insanity of finding terminals, especially when I’m on a tight schedule (nope, no sarcasm there).

So why is someone who has done yoga maybe twice in his life making the journey out to Estes Park, Colorado for the 2012 Yoga Journal Conference!? The free food of course, duh. Oh and I guess because I’m scheduled to perform this Kirtan thing there Thursday evening with yoga instructor Alanna Kaivalya. And speaking of the Kirtan thing, have I mentioned that I still haven’t secured a drum set to play for tomorrow night?

So to recap, I’m hopping on a plane to fly out to Colorado as a non-yoga practitioner going to a huge yoga conference to perform Kirtan without an instrument to perform it. So um, what the hell am I thinking!? The sort of interesting thing here is that I’m not. I was invited to play less than a month ago by Alanna Kaivalya, an instructor who is out there all week teaching. My initial reaction was that it sounded interesting but the plane tickets were out of my price range and I didn’t really have time to work out all of the logistics so it’d just be easier to say, “thanks but no thanks.”

That didn’t sit well with me however, and not just because Alanna is a super sweetheart who I wanted to help out. Something in my gut was really pushing me to go, and honestly, 9.9 out of 10 times, even though I’m aware of my internal guidance pushing me to do something, I shy away from it. Sayings like, “If nothing changes, nothing changes” or “Carpe Diem” were always just irritating clichés to me, but today I guess that’s changing a little bit.

Today, I’m doing my absolute best to truly live in a more harmonious way with my internal guidance and truly trust in it, hence my decision to bite the bullet, throw caution to the wind and make the journey out to Estes Park, Colorado.

Sure, I rummaged my basement for things to sell for the plane ticket including a massage table, Wii video games and so forth, but I pulled it off. I got the plane ticket and am going to Colorado. I am going to Colorado. I am going to a yoga conference in Colorado. What the f*ck am I doing? Why the hell is my intuition telling me to go? I guess there’s no time like the present to really begin living life and just go with it.

So as I fill my suitcase with jeans and black band t-shirts, and no yoga gear whatsoever (minus my copy of the Gita), I can’t help but laugh at the fact that I’m going to be the most awkward person at this conference. I’ve found some solace in the fact that at the very least, I’ll return home with some good stories to tell, but my intuition…it still haunts me. Why is it pushing me to do this?

Those of you who’ve read my previous e.j. articles are probably expecting some sort of tie in here, or a moral of the story, but there is no moral this time, at least not one that I’m aware of yet. I’m just some awkward weirdo who’s about to get himself into an uncomfortable situation which should set the stage for hilarity to ensue, albeit, not the type of hilarity I may traditionally opt for, but hilarity none the less. And if I leave at least one person smiling from my adventures, or misadventures, then I’ve accomplished a job well done. I’ll be sure to check back in and keep any of you interested in my excursion posted. And if any of you are reading this and will be at the conference, come say hi, or at the very least, point fingers and laugh. I’ll be the guy in black with all the tattoos who sticks out like a sore thumb.

About Chris Grosso

Chris Grosso is an independent culturist, freelance writer, spiritual aspirant, recovering addict, and musician. He serves as spiritual director of the interfaith center The Sanctuary at Shepardfields and created the popular hub for all things alternative, independent, and spiritual with TheIndieSpiritualist.com. Chris continues the exploration with his bestselling book titled Indie Spiritualist: A No Bullshit Exploration of Spirituality (Atria Books/Simon & Schuster). A self-taught musician, Chris has been writing, recording, and touring since the mid-1990s. Follow Chris on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube.

4041697 Responseshttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.elephantjournal.com%2F2012%2F10%2Fwhat-the-fck-am-i-doing-going-to-a-yoga-journal-conference%2FWhat+the+F%2Ack+am+I+Doing+Going+to+a+Yoga+Journal+Conference%21%3F2012-10-03+16%3A23%3A11Chris+Grossohttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.elephantjournal.com%2F%3Fp%3D404169 to “What the F*ck am I Doing Going to a Yoga Journal Conference!?”

[…] the spirit world, love, and Maharaj-ji. To spiritual practices like Japa (repetition of mantra) and Kirtan, but it’s not like Japa is one thing and playing Nintendo is another thing. It’s all just a […]