Monday, May 19, 2014

Recycling Day In Our Neighborhood Always Makes Me Feel Weird. Everyone Else Has A Single Plastic Trash Can And We Have That Plus Two Full Bins, Multiple Cardboard Boxes, And Extra Bags Of Stuff On Top. When They Pour It In The Truck The Sound Of Glass Bottles Is Deafening. I Want To Yell "We Entertained And Online Shopped These Past Couple Weeks!" But Then I Realize Probably No One Is Paying Attention To Our Recycling So I Don't.

Mondays don't look pretty over here. Especially this close to the end of the school year. Rather than drill sergeant my way through the weekend, I tend to just let it be. People are constantly coming and going, balls are being thrown and kicked, food prepared and consumed, fire pits lit, blankets carted to the out of doors, papers written, assignments completed, projects forgotten at home that require last minute drop offs, and household tasks started and sometimes finished, sometimes not. It looks chaotic because it is. Sometimes I think I could do (maybe should do?) a better job of just keeping things in line, but if I did, I'd just spend my entire weekend tidying and reminding and scurrying and that just doesn't sound like how I want to spend my time.

So when Monday rolls around I try to regain control. At least the illusion of control for only a few short hours. And this being the last Monday of the school year it has dawned on me that we're entering basically a three month long weekend. Our school year rhythm will leave us next week and we'll be without our academic calendar-imposed structure. I'm working to develop a healthy mindset to prevent the "it's all closing in on me" feeling you get when you feel you've lost control of the place you call home and you just need A MOMENT.

I'm going to live as if we're spending the next few months in a vacation house on the beach somewhere. And that's basically what it'll be like here at home minus the ocean and noting there will, in fact, be regular work going on. But even when you're staying in a vacation home, you still have to keep on top of things - like laundry, groceries, general tidiness, etc. Somehow though, those tasks seem less annoying when you're vacationing. So I'm shifting my brain to vacation mode.

Our pace will change, but since we must remain functional as a group, I'll consciously loosen my grip without completely letting go. And when I do have to dive deeper into family management/organization/bossing around, I'll do it with a more laid back attitude (God willing). I want us to enjoy this time - as our kids get older every minute just seems so incredibly precious - and I don't want to be a shrew. I also don't want our kids to look back on their childhood and imagine they lived in constant chaos so I'll endeavor to find balance. Sometimes I may have to do it with the help of a white noise recording of waves crashing on the beach (there's an app for that) and sometimes perhaps with a wine spritzer or two (heavy on the wine).

But always, always with so much gratitude because these are very special times. Let us not forget.

I'm wearing this:

It's hot and I've committed myself to getting our raised beds functioning ASAP so I'll be playing farmer today. Last year we planted pumpkins too late and ended up with only two and they we're pathetic - I think I saw a robin actually pick one of them up and fly away. It was humiliating.

gratitude: Advil, group texts between the family, online shopping for Geoff, evenings together