Tuesday, March 23, 2010

I have set myself a personal goal: To write. Not only to write, but to do it daily. And I told my self "no excuses." I told myself to write at least 500 words a day, to post my prompts daily, in all essence: to get lost back into the world of writing. That was a week ago. And, oh my, I was doing well. Every day I was posting my prompt of the day, along with other insightful little tidbits I discovered along the way. And I was feeling great! Words were already coming easier, though some of the prompts had proven to be difficult. Yet still, they came. And I found that even within that short time, I couldn't finish a day without writing.

So what is the issue you ask?

Well, if you scroll back through my posts, you will notice something very sad. The last two days...there has been nothing. Not one post. While my mind was constantly laying in wait in writing land, I never took the time this last weekend to plop the words down into existence. And I must say, I am disappointed in myself. Oh, I do have explanations. For one, we had out of town friends visiting. Two, I am a mommy of a two year old and am now 29 weeks pregnant with little boy number two. I am stretched as it is (no tummy-pun intended). Three, I am addicted to Facebook. Ok, maybe not addicted. But as soon as I sit at my lovely computer, the first thing I tend to do is check that wretched site. Most times it is in the sad hopes that a friend will be on and will talk with me (I get lonely...). Then I find myself - *gasp* - farming. Yes, Farmville farming. I hang my head in shame. Ok, and fourth...the tv just pulls me in. As soon as the kiddo is in bed, I am shot from the busy day of keeping him content. Even now, I find myself glancing at the clock, knowing that in a few short minutes American Idol will be starting.

Distractions are too easy to come by.

So what do I do? Do I proclaim I have already ruined my goal and that this is a lost cause? NO. I apologize for the missed days, but must also realize that in my life, there WILL be missed days. That's a given. My husband is very supportive of this goal of mine. He loves to read my newest creations (and, sadly, by the looks of it...may be the only one out there reading them.) But I cannot always disappear and write nonstop while he is home with the kiddo. I need him-time too.

(Oh, and on the topic...is anyone out there reading this? I know I know. I am truly doing this for me. But I am a creature of support. When I find others are enjoying my writing. Wanting it. Or at least encouraging me by casually glancing over the words...I feel a stronger urge to keep going. Call me human. So really, an occasional comment here and there really wouldn't hurt...I am just saying.)

A great discovery though. I feel the "pain" from not writing. When, in the last few years, I would go for months without once sitting down to write a word, the last few days I knew I was missing the writing every second. Though I had no time to sit and do it, I was constantly thinking of it. Creating stories. Pondering plots. So, this goal of mine is working. Maybe it won't be daily here on the blog. But I feel something growing. Something that has lain dormant for far too long: My passion.

Writer friends out there, do not be discouraged. If you find a "block." If you find you have gone for a while with no writing. If you feel like you have no support... Don't give up. Try harder. Its all there. But you have to find it, it won't just knock on your mental door and announce "Here I am!"