Christian Right Celebrates Year of Fear

Concerned Women for America, a conservative outfit often represented in the media, by, uh, a man (named Robert Knight, no less), has emailed its supporters a list of 2005 “accomplishments.” Not too many surprises: creationism in Kansas, John Roberts, the profoundly unethical and dishonest — and yet successful — fight to block FDA approval of over the counter sales the “morning after” pill. But perhaps the number one feat of which the Concerned Women boasts is… “Values (pro-life) voters are now feared… by liberal politicians.” 2005 — the Year of Fear. May there be many more.

What will the new year bring? Concerned Women are still to busy making scary faces at each other to announce its plans, but the Christian Coalition has is already looking ahead with a 2006 agenda emailed to its supporters. Top priority: passage of a law that will require cable and satellite companies to carry Christian broadcasting. That’s not scary, it’s ironic, since the Christian Coalition never made a peep when its favorite politicians cleared the way for big media consolidation. The Christian Coalition considers deregulation a godly principle — except, uh, when they need a special law to keep their favorite programs in permanent rotation. You must be “Touched By an Angel,” thus sayeth the Lord.

What else is on the list? More regulation, the “Broadcast Decency Enforcement Act.” You WILL be decent in 2006. If not, we can always call in the Concerned Women to teach you the meaning of fear.

Don’t get the wrong idea about the Christian Right. It’s not just about big government and jackbooted women. It’s also about small government. All things to all people, right? Number three priority for the Christian Coalition? “Making Permanent the 2001-2003 Federal Tax Cuts.” That’s straight out of the gospel of — or, wait, the book of — the epistles — aw, fuck it. That ain’t in the Bible, but who cares?

In closing, Merry Christmas — or else. We leave you with glad tidings from a column titled “Violent Night, Holy Night,” on Christian conservative leader Chuck Colson’s “BreakPoint”: “Seen in its larger spiritual and historical perspective, Christmas is best compared to D-Day and the invasion of captive Europe. The first Christmas witnessed the sudden irruption of a new order into a world kingdom of slaves and blind men. It was an act of violence that would be met with violence and would issue in violence as the eternal order of righteousness, peace, and joy in the Spirit made its way against the retreating realities of a vanquished domain.”