Tired Bill of Rights needs pizazz

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The Bill of Rights used to be a good little set of rules for our nation to be governed by. They were simple enough, they made sense, and they were consistent with the beliefs and values of the time they were written.

But times they are a-changing. So should our Bill or Rights, so that they are more consistent with the beliefs of our society. At one time, the Bill of Rights was the best written set of laws the world had ever seen. Now, the Bill of Rights is just wrong.

Today, our nation is much bigger than it was in those days. Our population has become larger and larger. The value of human life is worth a lot less than it used to be, and our laws have not been changed to accommodate this. It may not sound like a big deal, but if you’ll really pay attention to people, you’ll notice that it’s over-population and nothing else that is causing hate crimes, riots, burglaries, and anger in general. What we need is a way to solve the problem of over-population. What we need is a way to release our anger.

What we need is a new bill added to the Bill of Rights. Nothing huge. Just a small change that can be implemented by this very modest proposal:

Every U.S. Citizen, regardless or race, creed, sex or religion, should be given the right to legally kill another U.S. citizen of their choice every week.

Simple. The population is being cut down to relieve anger on a long term basis, and we are allowed to physically release our anger so that our current unrest is relieved until the problem of overpopulation is solved.

If you feel this step is too drastic, then you obviously live a very sheltered life. People are being killed every day. It’s not a big deal anymore. It happens. We should be used to it by now. We should be using that to our advantage.

If you are morally opposed to it, then it’s time that you started living in the now. It’s not like the Bill of Rights isn’t old and outdated enough, but the “Don’t Kill” rule is originally from the Ten Commandments. The Ten Commandments!! At the time God told this to Moses, he didn’t want us to have to be bothered with the trouble of killing another man. It used to be quite a chore before the advent of the gun. It’s much easier now.

If you are afraid of dying, then it’s time you stopped thinking about yourself. We should be perfectly willing to sell the farm in order to help a friend. Don’t think of it as dying just because someone was having a bad day. Think of it as your neighborly duty. Good neighbors often will visit their neighbors when times are rough, or bake them foods when they are down. If a neighbor is willing to spend all that time preparing a dish, shouldn’t they be willing to do something for their fellow neighbor that will take a significant less amount of time. Getting shot takes about a second. Dying afterwards can also be quick. If we’re willing to give an hour of our lives to cooking for a neighbor, why shouldn’t we give just a few minutes to dying for one.

This may sound extreme, but it’s the only rational way to stop the problem of violence and unrest in our country. Think of it as one small finger pull for man, and one giant shot forward for mankind.