When I think of wire hangers. I think of Faye Dunaway as Joan Crawford in a facial mask and housecoat. I also think of old timey DIY abortions done in some seedy halfway house. Well, Carmen Electra thinks of sexy times! Of course she does.

Unfortunately, Carmen wouldn’t say exactly how she uses wire hangers while busting nuts, she only said, “A little pleasure, a little pain. It’s all about fun.”

It sounds like all pain, no pleasure. I’m on Team Crazy Crawford, because I can’t stand wire hangers. I buy the cheap plastic shit at KMart, but it’s still better than evil wire hangers. If my lovah pulled out a wire hanger, I’d call 911. Spank me with a plastic or huggable hanger, but keep that wire shit away from me!

Furthermore, if you need a wire hanger to feel anything “down there,” then it’s time to stick your privates in a Fed Ex box, wish it luck and send it on some much-needed time apart. You’ll tell your privates it’s a vacation, but it’s really going in to get tightened, rotated (clockwise) and re-locked. Jiffy Lube is having a post-holiday special. They sent me a coupon.

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