Wednesday, August 29, 2007

I’ve taken an unscientific survey among gay men I know about toe-tapping in restroom stalls and there was near universal agreement that this was something we knew very little about. And believe me if gay men in New York City are unfamiliar with this, that says a lot right there.

I have to say I learned more about this system of clandestine communication by watching clips of ostensibly straight newscasters and commentators either demonstrate it or talk about their own past experiences.

A lesbian or two also quizzed me about toe-tapping and I had to admit to them that I was also learning about it. They were disappointed and confused at the same time. They were sure after listening to the news the past day or two that this was an experience fundamental to all gay men.

They would be wrong.

What’s my point in even talking about this?

Well it’s this. Toe-tapping in restrooms is about the closet and the behavior of those who live in the closet.

And a CNN piece from yesterday essentially confirmed this suspicion of mine when a police officer stated to a reporter that it wasn’t usually gay men being arrested in restrooms for lewd behavior. It was married men who have families, or, in other words (my words) men living straight lives that are deeply closeted.

If our opponents had their way we would all be living in the closet, living in shame and living in unhappy marriages that are unfair and dishonest to the ones we’ve married. I guess that’s “family values.”

Perhaps then my friends and I would be familiar with the art of toe-tapping in restrooms.