In our culture, quitting is demonized. A person who quits is deemed weak. A failure. We are bombarded with messages, often as early as childhood, to never quit. But, what if… What if quitting leads to an abundance of joy and peace? What if quitting sets you free from bondage?What if the belief that you can’t quit is the source of your bondage?What if quitting leads to life?

My pride wouldn’t let me quit. I was a walking zombie – sleep deprived from fat burners. I was beyond exhausted, from many hours at the gym, and fueled by an amount of food that wouldn’t sustain an infant. I became more and more obsessed with my body. In fact, no mirror was safe. Each mirror prompting the coveted “ab check” – lifting your shirt to ensure your abs are still there.

This girl had something to prove! God kept nudging me to quit but I wouldn’t listen. I valued the opinion of man far above the opinion of God – BIG mistake!

Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the LORD means safety. Proverbs 29:25

Is it OK To Quit?

It’s absolutely OK to quit. In fact, God condones it.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:1 NIV

You are allowed to quit, throw off, any and everything that hinders, or entangles you. Is it causing you to lose your peace? Quit it. Your joy? Quit it. Is your relationship with Christ suffering? Quit it. Are you consumed with thoughts of you, never thinking of others? Quit it. Have you become mean, short-tempered, impatient – no longer recognizing the woman in the mirror? Quit it.

What Does It Take To Quit?

It takes strength to quit. God’s strength.

I wish I could say it was easy to quit bodybuilding. As miserable as I was, it wasn’t. My flesh thrived on the notoriety. For a moment, it satisfied my desire to be seen. To be known. To be valued. Perhaps for you it isn’t bodybuilding. Maybe God is calling you to quit a relationship. A job. A bad habit – smoking, drinking, partying. Your flesh thrives on the way it makes you feel. It provides comfort.

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Isaiah 40:29

Will you be a quitter with me? If the Lord is nudging you to quit, quit. Quit the things that don’t make a difference, for things that do. Things so much bigger than you. I’ve found so much freedom on the other side. I’m confident you will too.

//If this blog post resonated with you in anyway, leave me a comment below, or email me at teawithtiffanyp@gmail.com. I enjoy reading and responding to your comments.

I don’t know about you but I hate waiting – HATE it! If I want something, I do whatever it takes to get it. Not excluding accumulating $10K in credit card debt. Needless to say, I spared no expense.

In this new season of life (recently married and unemployed), God continues to whisper, wait. For a girl who despises waiting, you can probably imagine, it hasn’t been all sunshine and rainbows. In fact, it’s been more like cold, snowy days. You know, when all the roads are closed, and you’re stuck inside the house for days on end. #notfun

I bet you’re a lot like me. You’ve been taught, “Nobody is going to give you anything. You gotta work for what you want.” While I believe this teaching has it’s place, we must be careful. Careful we don’t lump God into the “nobody” category. You see, the gospel is all about receiving. Receiving God’s unconditional love, without conditions – the need to perform.

For it is by God’s grace that you have been saved through faith. It is not the result of your own efforts, but God’s gift, so that no one can boast about it. Ephesians 2:8-9 GNT

My Grand Plan

When I moved in with my husband, I wanted to change everything. I had this grand plan of throwing away all his stuff, and buying all new stuff. In fact, when I visited him during our courtship, I mentally began to make plans for every room in the house. Shhhhh, that’s our little secret. If it were solely up to me, within a month, our home would closely resemble one of the renovated homes on HGTV. Aren’t those homes gorgeous? Being that we chose to become a single income household, I thought it best to file away my HGTV dream home fantasy until further notice.

Can I just be honest for a minute? Promise me you won’t judge. I’ll wait… OK, good. I’m nosey. Like for realzzzzz. My neighbor’s house recently went on the market. I just had to find out the selling price. I told ya, nosey! Anyway, while I was online being nosey, I decided to flip through the photos. As I was flipping through the pictures, I thought to myself, “Ooooooo, that’s nice. That dining room table and china cabinet would look amazing up in here!” Without any additional thoughts, I exited the page.

God’s Grand Plan

God’s answers are never packaged the way you expect. About a week after perusing the photos online, my husband called. He said, “The neighbors would like to know if you’d be interesting in their dining room table and china cabinet.” I was utterly shocked! Like what are the chances of that?

Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5

Perhaps you’re like me. You’re in a waiting season. You wonder,

When is my time coming?

Will God ever answer my prayers?

Does God even exist?

My dear sisters, we must trust. For trusting the Lord never leads to disappointment. I know it sounds cliché – trust God. Like me, you’ve probably rolled your eyes a time, or two, when someone uttered those two words. Be encouraged. Trust is not a one and done type deal. In fact, we must choose to trust minute by minute, second by second.

You are in a fight with the enemy of your soul, who so desperately wants you to believe that God ain’t good. That He’s not listening. That He doesn’t exist. In those moments of despair may you run towards God. Don’t get mad and storm out of the room. Get mad. Just don’t leave the room. Allow Him to remind you of His many promises.

And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him. Hebrews 11:6

//Are you currently in a waiting season? What are you doing to stay encouraged in the wait? Leave me a comment below. Myself, along with many other women, can use the advice.

More than likely, you’re in one of two camps. The first camp is wondering, Who the heck is Esau? The second camp, while familiar with Esau, hesitantly answers, I don’t think so. Regardless of camp, keep reading. I promise there’s a lesson to be learned.

While I’ve read the story of Esau and Jacob many times, the story resonated with me in a fresh, new way while reading the Made To Crave devotional on the Holy Bible App (If you don’t have this app, download it now!). In Genesis 25, Esau arrives home after a long day of hunting, hungry and exhausted. In Esau’s distress, he trades his firstborn birthright for a measly bowl of soup.

Can I be vulnerable with you? A while back, I erroneously thought food was the problem. When I found myself head first in a family-size bag of nacho cheese Doritos (good, right?) or knee deep in a jar of peanut butter, I took it out on the food. No, I didn’t beat the food up silly. But, in that moment, I swore to never buy chips or peanut butter again. Talk about unrealistic! Clearly it was the food’s fault and had to be exiled from the pantry! Sounds familiar?

In my heart, I knew it wasn’t the food I craved. In Lysa Terkeurst’s book, Made To Crave, she helps women understand how cravings for lasting spiritual satisfaction are often mistaken for cravings for food. When I found a FREE 21 day devotional for Made To Crave on the Holy Bible App, I immediately started the plan. The devotional included the story of Esau and Jacob. I was tempted to skim over this particular day’s teaching. In my limited understanding, I couldn’t see how their story had anything to do with why I was constantly running to the pantry. I mean, Esau ate when he was hungry. Isn’t that the #1 diet rule, “Eat when you’re hungry”?Tried that. Didn’t work for me. Moving on… While my flesh was beckoning me to move on, my Spirit was gently prompting me to be still. To receive what God was waiting to show me.

It clicked. I was just like Esau. While Esau traded his birthright, I traded my desire to be healthy and whole. I turned to Doritos and peanut butter instead of the God of all comfort. I’m willing to bet you’re guilty too. You turn to temporary comfort instead of THE comforter. In verse 32, Esau goes on to say, “Look, I’m dying of starvation! What good is my birthright to me now?” Like you, Esau wasn’t concerned about the future. He was simply focused on the now. What would make him feel good in the moment.

//So, are you like Esau? When it comes to being healthy, are you turning to temporary comfort? What about other areas in your life. Believe it or not, it’s all connected. Leave me a comment below, or email me at teawithtiffanyp@gmail.com, it would be an honor to help you.

“Yes, come,” Jesus said. So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted. Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?” Matthew 14:29-31

Comparison is truly the thief of joy

Some days I walk on water; other days, like Peter, I sink. I take my eyes off God. I look around at what “she’s” doing, which inevitably sparks the flame of comparison. I secretly click through “her” pictures on social media – careful not to like one by mistake, oops!you too? – comparing her highlight reel to my reality. Knowing this doesn’t make me feel the least bit better. My mind becomes bombarded with thoughts – She has perfect skin while I’m experiencing my 100th breakout this month. She has the perfect body while I can’t seem to lose 5 pounds. She receives 100 likes on a photo while I receive a mere 10. Her business is growing while I’m not sure what my purpose in life is. In short, she’s #winning while I’m #losing.

As I was reading Esther 8, the footnote referencing verses 15-17 got me ALL the way together. It states, “Everyone wants to be a hero and receive praise, honor, and wealth. But few are willing to pay the price. Mordecai served the government faithfully for years, bore Haman’s hatred and oppression, and risked his life for his people. He was faithful in obscurity. The price to be paid by God’s heroes is long-term commitment, whether or not they receive recognition. Are you ready and willing to pay the price?”

I stopped and questioned myself: Am I willing to pay the price? Are you? If the husband you’ve prayed for never shows up? If you never receive the promotion? If you’re never patted on the back for a job well done? If the book deal never comes? If the business you’ve dreamed about never comes to fruition? If the family member you’ve been praying never shakes the drug addiction. Will you continue to pray? Will you continue to trust God? Will you continue to be faithful in the present? To whatever God is calling you to today?

4-part heart check

As I pondered, “Am I willing to pay the price?“, the Holy Spirit impressed upon my heart 4 things:

Check your motives. Is it really about God or is it more about what God can do for you? Are you really concerned about the needs of others or is it all a front? James 4:3, “And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong–you want only what will give you pleasure.”

You have what it takes too. You’re lacking nothing! Stop thinking you don’t have what it takes. You have the mind of Christ. You have the Holy Spirit living on the inside of you. You’re powerful! Are you tapping into your power? Acts 1:8, “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you…”

God has a plan for you too. It may seem as if everyone around you has it going on while you’re stuck in “no-purpose” land but that’s a lie from the pit of hell. Jeremiah 29:11, For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

God has assigned people to you too. Someone’s deliverance is tied to you. They need you to get over yourself. Stop thinking, “she’s already doing it.” While that may be true, you are still needed!. John 3:26-27, “So John’s disciples came to him and said, “Rabbi (John The Baptist), the man you met on the other side of the Jordan River, the one you identified as the Messiah, is also baptizing people. And everybody is going to him instead of coming to us.” John replied, “No one can receive anything unless God gives it from heaven.” Both John the Baptist and Jesus served a purpose in God’s great plan of salvation. Don’t deny God the gift of you.

My dear sisters, stop looking to the left or the right. Keep your eyes lifted towards heaven. Fixed on the Jesus. Let Jesus, and Jesus alone be your reason.

//Can you relate to this post? If so, how do you overcome the comparison game? Please share your thoughts in the comments below, or via email at teawithtiffanyp@gmail.com, I would love to hear them.

I had it all and I was miserable

On Sunday evenings, anxiety would build in my chest. My eyes would begin to swell with tears. I’d text a friend, “I don’t wanna go to work tomorrow!” When I first started working at this prestigious engineering company, I had dreams and aspirations of climbing the corporate ladder. I envisioned my picture on the wall, wearing a tailored Brooks Brothers black suit, with “VP of Engineering” underneath. I did everything I was told to do – obtained mentors, volunteered, worked long hours, signed up for additional assignments, made myself visible… I was on track, or so I thought.

The walls of my cubicle were closing in on me. I was bored, unfulfilled, miserable, and unhappy. On the outside, I was #slaying. I drove a BMW, made six figures, wore designer clothes, carried designer bags… But, I was hungry for something money couldn’t buy. I wanted peace and fulfillment. I had a burning desire to impact the lives of women outside of the walls that seemed to be closing in on me. I was wasting time. There were women out there waiting for me. Waiting to hear my testimony. Waiting to hear my words of encouragement. Waiting for me to share my truth. If only I were out there and not here.

God answered my prayers

The opportunity to quit my job and pursue my dreams fell in my lap. Shortly before marrying the man of my prayers, I quit my job. Now I have all the space and opportunity to do exactly what I want. I’m no longer confined to a desk all day. Nor do I have someone breathing down my neck about deadlines. I traded that for a hungry husband who walks in the door and says, “what’s for dinner?” But I digress. Where were we? Oh yeah… I’m able to be creative, set the tone for my day, and set my own hours. God has also granted me the opportunity to encourage women through this blog. Without being constrained to a bullpen all day, the possibilities are endless. You’d think I’d be off an running, right?

Why is it so hard to move forward?

Fear. It entraps me. You too? When I was sitting in that cubicle, I felt like superwoman. I was ready to break free and slay all the giants in my way. Have you ever asked God for something then when He gives it to you, you shrink back? That’s me. Right here. Right now. I wonder: Do I have what it takes? Am I good enough?Others are doing it so well, should I be doing something else? Maybe I should just go back to engineering…

Then they plotted among themselves, “Let’s choose a new leader and go back to Egypt! Numbers 14:4

We must move forward courageously

Just like the Israelites, I have contemplated going back to the same place I prayed, or better stated BEGGED, God to deliver me from. What’s your Egypt?What in your life is so comfortable that you’re willing to risk your destiny for it? For you it may not be a job, but perhaps it’s an old boyfriend or another toxic relationship.

A few days ago, my husband and I were leaving a wedding ceremony. We were holding hands while walking to the car. When my husband holds my hand, I feel empowered. I feel untouchable. Unstoppable. He makes me feel secure. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world… The next day I was standing in the mirror applying mascara. It’s as if God nudged me and said, “The same strength you feel walking hand in hand with your husband, I want you to feel that way with me. I’m always with you.” That’s good, right?

My dear sisters, God is with you. With Him you’re empowered. Untouchable. Unstoppable. Secure. The luckiest girl in the world! The next time the devil tries to intimidate you with fear, stick your chest out, lift your head high and be encouraged by what your daddy says:

This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand. Isaiah 41:10

Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you. Psalm 32:8

//What’s one thing you’ve been afraid to do? Will you step out in faith and do it afraid? If so, I’d love to hear about it in the comments below or via email, teawithtiffanyp@gmail.com

To make you feel more comfortable, I’ll go first. For years I’ve done a lot of talking and dreaming about creating workout videos that include God’s word. I’ve been sooooooooooooo scared to put myself out there. Me? On camera? Talking about Jesus? I’m no expert in the scriptures… A few weeks ago I recorded my first video. Lemme just say, it won’t win an Oscar for best picture! But, since we’re stepping out in faith and doing it afraid, what better time than the present? You can find the video here. Though totally imperfect, I pray it blesses you.

I called off my wedding. It was two months prior to my big day. The date was set, bridesmaids chosen, venue booked, and wedding dress ordered… I just couldn’t do it. I’d dated this man for years. It made sense that the next step would be marriage but I had doubts. I knew something was missing but I couldn’t put my finger on it. After a brief (11 months), courtship with my now husband, I couldn’t help but consider what was so different this time around. How is it that I could date one man for years, have doubts. Date another man for 11 months and have zero doubts?

Perhaps you’re like me. You’ve been dating a man for years but deep down in your soul you know there must be something more. Something better. You’re not 100% convinced he’s the one but you’re comfortable. Change seems just to scary to bear. You’re toying with the idea of settling. You’re slowly beginning to accept the idea. You try and comfort yourself, “It’ll get better after marriage.”

I knew what “wrong” felt like. It was marked by uneasiness. In my gut, I knew something was missing. At the time, I just didn’t know what “right” felt like. After meeting my amazing husband, the pieces of the puzzles became extremely clear. I can confidently say, you know when it’s wrong, and you know when it’s right. If you haven’t reached a place of certainty, perhaps you need to pump the brakes. In pumping the brakes, you may discover, just as I did, the missing pieces of the puzzle.

Can I just be honest with you for a second? I started writing this blog post about a month ago. I just couldn’t finish it. I struggled with being vulnerable. With being so transparent. What would y’all think? After all, I’m sharing a lot of my personal business. For the past two days, the Holy Spirit has been prompting me to finish. Honestly, I have no idea why. If I had to guess, I’d say it’s for you. Perhaps you need to know you’re not alone. Perhaps you need the confirmation to let go. Perhaps He’s using me to confirm what He’s already spoken to your heart. Know this, God can be trusted. He’s a good, good Father. He’s leading you along the best pathway for your life.

As I reflect back over my many years of dating, God taught me some very valuable lessons. Naked and exposed. I’m sharing ’em with you… So, is he the one? I can’t answer that. Only God can. What I can offer are thought provoking questions to consider while making the decision. After answering these questions, it may become evident, or it may not. Either way, go to the Father. He’s awaiting your arrival.

4 Questions To Consider:

Does he know God or “know of “Him?

John 2:3, “And we can be sure that we know him if we obey his commandments.” To know God is to obey Him. There are many temptations in life. There will always be another woman who’s prettier, smarter, more fit, has bigger hips… If a man truly knows God, He’ll be more inclined to do right by you. He won’t leave you guessing. He won’t play games with your heart. He won’t play disappearing acts. He won’t be here today and gone tomorrow. You won’t be inclined to check his phone. To stalk his social media pages. My dear sisters, you’ll never be able to watch a man 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Your presence is limited; however, God is omnipresent. He’s everywhere at the same time. Knowing your potential mate is being held accountable to a higher power brings a level of comfort. I’m not saying this man will be perfect, because He won’t. You and I aren’t either. I’m simply saying, obedience to God doesn’t lead to sin.

Does he pray with you?

James 5:16, “…The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.“ I was 33 years old and had been engaged twice before I ever had a man (outside of deacons or pastors) pray aloud with me. I was in relationships where I was told praying was happening but I never saw it. I won’t say they didn’t do it. I can only attest to what I saw. Anyway, I was on the phone with Chris, who wasn’t my husband at the time, for the very first time. Prior to hanging up the phone from an enlightening conversation, he asked, “Can I pray with you? Is there anything you’d like me to pray about?” Wayment! What? I was taken aback. Like alllllllll the way back! I was totally blindsided on that one. Jesus had jokes that night. Something stumbled out of my mouth like, “Ummmmm, pray that God gives me wisdom for my business.” #offguard When Chris prayed, I observed the ease of the words flowing from his mouth. Prayer wasn’t something he learned to do before he called me that night. He was comfortable. His tone was relaxed. He’d been here, at God’s feet, before. It was comforting to know I could count on him to pray for our family, if there ever was to be one.

Will he wait for you?

Ephesians 5:27, “He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault.Sisters, lemme just tell ya! Closing your legs will weed ’em out faster than you can blink your eye! I have an image in my mind of roaches scattering when the lights come on. I’m not saying he’s a roach but he might scadadle. #peaceoout A man who’s willing to deny his flesh to honor you and God, is a very special man. True love, as found in John 3:16, is sacrificial. It requires giving something up. Sacrificing the pleasure of his flesh, may be an indication he desires a future beyond the bed with you. More importantly, he may just be in love with God.

Is God orchestrating the relationship or are you?

“If he calls me back tonight, we’re meant to be together.” We have a tendency to play these juvenile mind games with our lives. You know he’s going to call you back but you skip away erroneously interpreting this as confirmation. I tried to help God in past relationships. I even shacked with a man for 3 years! I believed it was my only option if we were to ever be together. I took matters into my own hands. Fast forward 7 years, I was living in Colorado. Chris lived in Alabama. How in the world was this going to work? I vowed to God I wouldn’t put my pretty, lil hands in it! If Chris was my husband, He would need to be the gentleman and open all the doors for us. If He didn’t, they wouldn’t open. In my eyes, all the doors were nailed shut!! God blew our minds in so many ways! I must share this one story with you; otherwise, we’d be here all day! Soooooooo (smacks lips), a month after Chris and I met, we hopped on a plane to St. Louis and ate lunch at Sweet Pie’s. On our way back home, the same day, there were some delays and the airline was seeking volunteers to give up their seats. We didn’t have anywhere to be so we volunteered. Long story short, we each received a $1000 voucher. Chris and I had both volunteered before but neither of us received that much money! God opened the door for us to see each other, on Him!! We flew to a different city every month until we were married. Chris spent the last of his voucher when he flew to Denver to drive me back to Alabama to be his wife. Ladies, ladies, ladies… If it’s meant to be, it’ll flow. You won’t be required to chase him. In fact, God will send him to chase you!!

I’m not a relationship counselor, nor do I profess to be. I’m simply sharing from my own experiences. It’s my offering to God. It’s my obedience. As I sit here practically terrified (I’m revealing so much of myself). I trust that He will be glorified. I pray this post blesses you in some way. If it does, I’d truly be encouraged if you left me a comment, or emailed me at teawithtiffanyp@gmaill.com. I would really love to hear from you.

A friend and I were on our way to the park a few days when the topic of intentional living came up. Ironically, I’d been having the same conversation with God for a few weeks. The excitement in my voice as I spoke was very apparent. When I finished speaking my heart was racing, I sat there quietly and thought to myself, “That’s passion!”

Close your eyes for a second. Go ahead. Do it. When you closed your eyes, you were immediately aware your vision was gone. What if we had that same awareness when we’ve taken our eyes off God? When we’ve allowed the flesh to control our actions?

If you’re anything like me, you’ve often wondered, “Where is God?” The truth is, He’s right here with me, and there with you. Scripture says He’s always with us. If He’s always with us, but we fail to recognize Him, that means, you and I are not always with Him.

While wandering through the wilderness, the Israelites depended on God to provide food. Today we say we depend on God, but do we really? For example, before eating, my husband and I give thanks. I began to question if our hearts are really postured towards true dependence on God as the source of all things. Has saying grace just become habit? Did God really provide the food or did we work and provide the food ourselves? In the busyness of life, it’s easy to go about our day, rushing from one place to the next, going through the motions on autopilot. But, does it have to be this way? Can we cultivate nearness in a busy world? Can we cultivate complete dependence on God in a culture that promotes, “every man for himself”?

What if, like loss of sight, we’re instantly aware when we’ve ventured from the sphere of His nearness? What if we slowed down and really postured our hearts towards absolute dependence and appreciation of the gift Giver? … I get it. It’s hard to slow down. We have so many things vying for our attention. The pressure of getting things done weighs heavily on us. As a result, stillness with God is deemed unproductive; however, the stillness is where awareness is found.

“Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Exodus 14:14

“Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act.” Psalm 37:7

Stillness is intentional. It’s not something that just happens. It’s something that must be practiced. Like with anything else, if we want to be great, we must practice. Being still is no exception.

Prayer: Most gracious God. Help us to be still. May we stop striving to do more, be more, have more and just be still and know. Help us to live intentional lives, always with You. Open our eyes to see You. Open our hearts to receive what You’re doing right now. Today. In this very moment. Our souls long to commune with You. We’re so grateful for your unending grace and mercy. All praise, glory, and honor belongs to you. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

How can you live more intentionally aware of God’s nearness? How can you practice being still? I’ve committed to being still, without any distractions, once a day. I’ve been lying on the floor, on my back, with palms open. In this posture, I envision myself receiving everything God has for me. In these sacred moments, it’s just He and I. His love and presence consumes me. Today, I’ve also scheduled a lunch date with God. When I sit down to eat lunch, I will turn my phone off, sit in complete silence, and allow Him to speak to me. Now it’s on you. I wold love to hear your plans for being still in the comments below, or via email at teawithtiffanyp@gmail.com. I’ll respond either way. Talk soon!

“I feel fat!” If you’re anything like me, you’ve uttered these three words far more than you care to admit. While we know fat isn’t a feeling, it doesn’t stop us from using it to express emotion. What do we really mean when we say, “I feel fat”? Today I’ll share what I discovered. Perhaps you’ll find, you mean the same thing too.

I became a detective and investigated the causes of “feeling fat”. I uncovered the following scenarios led to this false emotion:

Eating an “off limits” food

Overeating

Weight gain

Tight fitting clothes

Comparing my body to hers, or a past version of myself

Stomach jiggling as the car hits a bump in the road (Yours too?)

When I say “I feel fat,” I really mean, I’m disappointed. Good or bad, consciously or subconsciously, we hold ourselves to unrealistic standards. We somehow convince ourselves that we should be the same size we were in high school. That we should never gain a pound or go up a pant size. That if we just had more willpower, we wouldn’t overeat. That if we try hard enough, we’ll eventually love kale salads as much as we love cheeseburgers. #lies Unfortunately, when our reality doesn’t match our fantasy, we’re disappointed.

There’s nothing wrong with you. You.are.human! I know… I know.. You already know this but it’s worth elaborating on… Humans gain weight. Humans overeat. Humans have fat on their bodies. Humans grow out of their clothes. Humans compare themselves to other humans. Humans have flesh that jiggles. It’s OK. All these situations are perfectly normal. You are normal.

I only felt fat once in my life… said no one ever. As women, many of us wrestle with “feeling fat” all the time; however you can’t allow your feelings to dictate your identity. Who you are isn’t found in the number on the inside tag of your jeans.

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5

You know how to lose weight. You know what to eat. What not to eat. How much to eat… Have you ever considered, “If I know all these things, why do I continue to feel stuck no matter what I weigh?” It’s because you haven’t mastered your mind. The battlefield is in your mind, not on a scale. You know a lot about changing the outside but nothing about changing the inside. You can be in the best shape of your life, but if your thoughts don’t change, you’ll never be content. Your thoughts will scream you’re not good enough at a size 22 and a size 2. What will you believe? Can your thoughts be trusted? Are they true? It’s the unchanging truth in God’s word that sets us free from “feeling fat”. He says,

Sisters, what God says about you will never change. When you feel fat and begin to think insecure and ugly thoughts about yourself and your body, take those thoughts captive. Remember how God feels about you–we are free! In our body image struggle, He has already won. In God’s word, there’s perfect peace and great contentment even on the days when we “feel fat”.

Can you relate to anything mentioned in this post? If so, I would love to hear about it in the comments below. Don’t feel comfortable writing a public comment? No problem. Email me at teawithtiffanyp@gmail.com. I’ll respond either way. Talk soon!

Prior to crying myself to sleep that night, I ate uncontrollably. Sure I’d been under eating and over training for months but I wasn’t eating to satisfy hunger. I was eating to fill a void. … It wasn’t food my flesh craved. It craved attention. I wanted to be seen. To be known. To be valued. As I lie in bed, uncomfortably full, I wondered, “How did I get here?” …I’d allowed my own desires to drag me away.

“Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away.” James 1:14

One day while scrolling my Facebook timeline, I saw a transformation picture of a college friend. She had the body of a fitness model. “Oooo, I wanna look like that!”, I thought to myself. If she could transform her body, I could too. I hurriedly sent her a private message. I needed all the deets (details)! I learned that she’d just competed in her first bodybuilding competition where she received a first place trophy. I explained to her that I didn’t care about winning, at least not initially. I was after the body. The abs and muscles would be my trophy. Within hours I was online searching for a bodybuilding coach.

“You must not make for yourself an idol of any kind or an image of anything in the heavens or on the earth or in the sea.” Exodus 20:4

My body had become my idol (Note: God revealed this truth to me during an 8 week faith based wellness program, now Wellness Revelation). I spent thousands of dollars on coaching, hundreds of dollars on supplements, hours in the kitchen cooking, hours lifting weights, and hours and hours of cardio. Finally! It was show day. I was nervous and excited. I was excited to show off my hard earned work. Surprisingly, I walked away with two first place trophies and an overall win that night. That was a BIG deal! Most competitors don’t place at their first competition. I quickly went from having no expectation of winning to striving to become a professional bodybuilder.

I was totally obsessed with my body and overflowing with pride. In my mind, I was the best! I went into the next competition confident I would leave a professional bodybuilder by securing first place. There was no doubt in my mind. I quickly shelled out a couple more thousand dollars for coaching, flights, a hotel room, tanning, makeup and a photo shoot in preparation for the competition. It wasn’t a big deal because I just knew it would pay off. I would become a professional bodybuilder, obtain endorsements, quit my job, become a fitness model, travel the world, and live happily ever after. … So I thought.

I stood on stage anxiously awaiting my number to be called. It never was. Myself, along with a handful of girls, tied for last place. I was devastated! I cried myself to sleep that night. That night, I made it my mission to prove to those judges I would become a professional bodybuilder. Five competitions, and an emptied savings account later, I finally reached my goal. I was awarded the coveted “pro card.” I expected to be on cloud nine. I wasn’t. I ended up where I started this blog post, lying in bed, uncomfortably full, crying. I cried out to God, “How did I get here? Why did you allow this to happen to me? Where did I go wrong? I was so stupid!”

After earning my pro card, people anticipated I would compete at the professional level. After all, why would anyone subject themselves to everything I’d gone through if I was never going to compete professionally? But, they didn’t know the pact I’d made with God. That night in my dark hotel room, I surrendered. I didn’t want to lead anymore. For two long years, I’d been in the driver’s seat. That night, I pulled over and God returned back to His rightful place, head of my life.

So, how do you know when to walk away?

So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31

If it doesn’t bring glory and honor to God, it’s time to walk! Point. Blank. Period. That goes for anything in life – friendships, relationships, jobs, etc. My pursuit of becoming a bodybuilder only honored me. I don’t care how many times I posted a picture to social media, showing my abs, with the caption, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,” it still wasn’t God.

People may be pure in their own eyes,but the Lord examines their motives. Proverbs 16:2

All that time, I was searching for something I already had through Christ. I’m known (Psalm 139:1) and I’m a winner (Romans 8:37). Have you been like me, searching for something you already have in Christ?

Most gracious God, thank you for being a wonderful Father who loves us unconditionally. May we come to know, and experience, the glorious gifts we already have in You. Strengthen and empower us by your Spirit to walk away from anything that doesn’t bring glory and honor to You. It’s our desire to please You more than anything in this world. We love You. In Christ name I pray, Amen.

Have you ever had to walk away from something big? I’d love to hear your story in the comments below.

By day I was #bodygoals, praised by family and friends for being fit. By night I was a tiger on the prowl, ravenously eating everything in sight. I was covered in shame in guilt. I felt dirty. I was living a lie. On the outside it appeared I had it all figured out. On the inside, I was miserable. I cried out to God frequently, “Lord, why can’t you just fix me? Why can’t I just be normal?” The truth is, I wasn’t ready to accept where God was leading. I wasn’t ready to give up on the idea that just maybe I could have it all – an intimate relationship with God, ability to love others well, a healthy relationship with food, and a ripped body. I wanted to be healed. I really did BUT I wanted abs too. My flesh and my Spirit were at war. God had my heart but I was keeping my body to myself.

For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other… Galatians 5:17

Living this double life was taking a toll on me mentally, physically, and emotionally. I was physically exhausted from trying to out train the binge eating. I was mentally and emotionally consumed with all the guilt and shame. When I reached one of my lowest points, God directed me to Revelation Wellness. Revelation Wellness is a non-profit ministry that uses fitness as a tool to spread the gospel message. This ministry offered an 8 week, faith-based wellness program, Weigh Less To Feed More, that taught participants how to live healthy, whole lives in Christ. I purchased the program, and signed up for an instructor facilitated online group. During Weigh Less To Feed More, God showed me that it wasn’t abs I was after. I really just wanted to be loved, appreciated, and valued by others. Mistakenly, I thought a smaller body would grant me those things.

Weigh Less to Feed More has since evolved into a book, Wellness Revelation. When the opportunity presented itself to be part of the book launch team, I didn’t waste any time applying. In fact, I was walking out of the bank when I received the email. I stopped dead in my tracks and didn’t look up again until I’d completed the application. I thought about waiting until I was home to apply so I wouldn’t be limited to the small keypad on my iPhone. I was too anxious, I couldn’t wait. It was extremely hot and humid that day but I stood there. Right where I stopped in my tracks, outside the bank, and pecked away on the iPhone keyboard. When I finally finished, I was a sweaty mess! After being selected as part of the book launch team, I’d say the sweat was worth it. Thank you Jesus!

Stay with me. This is going somewhere; I promise!

After finishing chapter one of the book, I had an aha moment, “This is the formula for the perfect body!” Then I immediately thought of you. I knew I had to share. It was just too juicy to keep to myself. So, that’s exactly what I’m doing today – sharing the formula for a perfect body. Before I jump into that, I must offer you a full disclosure. I was NOT paid to write this blog. I’m blogging about this ministry and book because I firmly believe in ’em. I personally invest in this ministry out of my own pocket. When I believe in something, I invest it. I’ll receive a free copy of the book for being on the book launch team; however, I’ll be giving it away to one of you (details to come). Now that that’s out the way. Let’s get started.

Chapter one is titled, “Embrace God’s Purpose, Desire, and Design. That’s exactly how you get the perfect body, or better yet, how you come to know you were born with the perfect body.

Embrace God’s Purpose:

Exodus 9:16, “But I have spared you for this purpose – to show you my power and to spread my fame throughout the earth.” Alisa Keeton explains God desires to show us His power. Most times, especially when it comes to weight loss, we go about it in our own strength. It becomes a very self-centered endeavor. I’ve definitely experienced this in my own life. When I was competing in bodybuilding competitions, it was all about me. How lean could I really get? How much could I deprive myself? How many hours could I go without eating? I mistakenly thought if I just had enough willpower, I could sustain the most uncomfortable situations and all would be well in my soul. I was wrong. Unlike willpower, God’s strength is an unlimited resource. We’ve got to learn to rely on His strength. The perfect body is one that depends on God’s strength. Not it’s own.

Embrace God’s Desire:

1 Peter 1:16, “For the scriptures say, “You must be holy because I am holy.”” God desires for us to be holy. Alisa Keeton shares in the book that the Hebrew word for “holy” means “set apart”. In essence God desires we be set apart from the ways of the world. Again, I could so relate. A few days ago, I was thumbing through the images on my phone because I was almost out of storage. Don’t you hate that? Anyway, I noticed I had A LOT of selfies – mostly standing in front of a mirror, shirt lifted up, showcasing my abs. There was a time, I’d post these pictures on social media for attention. I started to conform to the world’s standards, “Look at ME, ME,ME!” Being set apart means I make the conversation about something other than myself. It doesn’t mean I’m better. I just know God wasn’t calling me to promote myself. As Paul says in Philippians 2:3, “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. The perfect body is set apart by God.

Embrace God’s Design:

Jeremiah 1:5, “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart…” God created each of us. Who knows its creation better than the Creator himself? I’ve been guilty of jumping from diet to diet. Nutrition plan to nutrition plan. Guru to guru. Workout plan to workout plan. I was seeking the opinion of everyone else but God. Those people didn’t know me. Before we were formed in the womb, God created us for a purpose. I realized my obsession with my body was a distraction. It hindered me from uncovering God’s purpose for my life. If I was consumed with me, there would be NO room for He. The perfect body is one that is confident in God’s plan for it.

God loves you. He longs for you to embrace your true identity. If you’re struggling to embrace God’s purpose, desire, and design for your life, I pray that God opens your heart to receive His perfect design. May you come to know, without a doubt, His immense love for you. He’s a good Father who wouldn’t dare withhold anything good thing from you.

If you’ve been struggling with your weight and accepting your body, I encourage you find out more about the book, Wellness Revelation, here. I must warn you. Like anything else, you get out, what you put in. You must be ready to do the work. If you decide to purchase the book from Amazon, please consider using my affiliate link, here. By doing this, I’ll receive a small commission of the sale, from Amazon, which helps keep my site up and running.

Hey, I’m Tiffany!

I've been waiting for you. Thanks for stopping by! I'm a southern girl, residing in Sweet Home Alabama. I'm a Christian, wife (married to the most amazing man, Chris), health and fitness enthusiast, and blogger. I'm eager to share what God has placed on my heart. Why Tea With Tiffany P? I'm spilling all the tea! Click on the picture above.