Girls, I need some help with my Pre-K kid

My youngest is in his 2nd year of Pre-K.† We had absolutely no problems last year, he loved school, yadda yadda.† This year he has been a total nightmare.† Mind you, he is now going in the afternoon, instead of morning, has a new teacher (but the same aid), and the class is now taking RR breaks in the main hall instead of their classroom.† He must say 400 times EVERY morning (going on day 7 now) "I don't want to go to school." and it isn't just a "I don't want to go to school."† It is a make-your-ears-bleed, whining "I don't waaaaaaannnnt to go to schooooooooooool."† At first I thought it was because of the whole bathroom thing...he said he was scared the class was going to leave without him.† But, he had a total meltdown at church yesterday changing Sunday School classes. So, that leads me to believe he just doesn't handle change well.† He is fine in a brand new situation, but when he has in his head what a situation should be, and it changes....he loses it!

Please don't get me wrong and think I am a terrible mother...I know...so many changes, he's only 5, be patient!† I've done the whole extra cuddles, sit on my lap for hours, explain, explain, explain, "mommy decisions" (i decide if you go to school) and "joshie decisions" (you decide if you ride the bus home or if mommy picks you up), rewards, bribery...everything.† I am just so incredibly done with the whining that I could scream.† I love my child more than life itself, but for crying out loud.† GET TO SCHOOL!

Anyone have any fresh ideas?† (I'd even seriously consider anything involving me locking myself in the bathroom until the carpool pulls in the driveway!)

Comments (4)

i can't give you any extra ideas, but maybe i can encourage you to hang in there! my oldest son had a very hard time adjusting to new surroundings. he's still not going to go places with kids he doesn't know (he will only play sports if he has friends who are going to play, too), but he is worlds better. when he first started pre-k i was so happy with how well he went to class. of course, he goes to school on our own church campus and his pre-k teacher had been the nursery/preschool sunday school coordinator foir years, so he knew her well. but even with all those familiars, about three weeks into pre-k something changed. i don't know what. but he did NOT want to go to¬†school. there were days when he would throw all out fits.at the time i was teaching PT at the same school and if he happened to see me across the parking lot or whereever the tears would start again. he was fine, however, after the initial seperation.

i am going to be honest. nothing really "worked" in the sense that it just got better quickly. it just took time. after a little while (a couple of months) he wouldn't cry buckets he would just cling to me. by kindergarten he was just somewhat clingy.

1st grade brought on a new wave of uncertainty. he def wouldn't cry noticasbly anymore, but he would say over and over again when i dropped him off "you're picking me up at 2:55, right?". if i was more than 5 min late he would get upset. now he is 2nd grade and for themost part doesn't worry anymore.

so, my advice. 1. don't overstress this issue. it is HIGHLY doubtful your son has some sort of emotional disorder where he will still be crying when you drop him off at high school.

2. talk regularly with your sons' teacher and helper. they need to understand whats going on so they can try to help your son.

3.use this as an ooportunity to shepherd your son! my son was dealing with fear. fear of a new situation, fear of my leaving him and not coming back. so we read Scriptures about trusting¬†God and about Him never leaving us. we prayed together every morning before school.

4. pray regularly for finding balance between being patient with him as he matures and disciplining him when his reluctance becomes truly sinful. it can be hard to know sometimes, esp when the situation is so frustrating to you as a parent!

5. know that you are not alone! it can feel that way when the other kids just walk right in and wave to their parents with a smile, but lots of children this age have this issue. and remember you are only 7 days into school! it could get better by next week!

I don't know if this will help, but this is what I do with my son (who is 4).¬† I tell him that we choose what kind of an attitude we want to have.¬† I ask him what kind of attitude does Jesus want us to have.¬† Then, when he starts whining, I ask him if he has an attitude that Jesus would like or not like.¬† I tell him he has a choice to make...he can choose to have a happy heart and go to school and have a great day or he can choose to have a disobedient heart and be grumpy.¬† He usually says he wants to have a happy heart and then I tell him to put a smile on his face and have a great day and that I'm proud of him for choosing a happy heart.¬† If he does happen to say he wants to be grumpy, I tell him that I'm sad he choose such a negative attitude and I know Jesus is sad too.¬† And I hope he will make better choices during the day.¬† Also, if the whining continues I tell him that I don't want to hear it and he can whine all he wants to in his room.¬† Once he is finished he can come out and join the rest of the family.¬†

That works well for my son, but he is very social, doesn't like to be alone, and I seem to be able to reason with him a lot.¬† I guess it's just his personality.¬† Maybe try it with¬†your LO and hopefully it will help.

All in all, you are only 7 days into it, maybe he is just having a tough time adusting to school after the summer break.¬† When I had YDS last year¬†ODS started¬†crying when I dropped him off at school...something he never does.¬† It just took a while for him to get¬†comfortable with¬†all the new changes.¬†

Thank you, ladies for your input!!¬† We had a major meltdown last Monday, but then he had 3 really great days.¬† Hopped in the carpool car and did just fine.¬† We just got back home from a long weekend, and the tears started briefly tonight.¬† We'll see how he does tomorrow.¬† Once he gets to school, he is fine (on the day that he had a MAJOR temper tantrum in the yard when his friend came to pick him up, he came home with a "Good Job" note from school saying it was his best day, yet!), it is just the anxiety of getting there we are battling.