A Mother's Journey After Loss

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5 Minutes to Becoming a Happier Mom

Lately life has been insanely busy. I take the babies to swimming lessons, Mia to dance, Bo to baseball, Wes to preschool. As I am sure so many of you can relate, I feel like I live in my car. Some times I feel like I am just surviving, waiting for the day to come to an end so that I can just sit and watch TV with Steve. That sounds awful putting it down into words, but it is true, life is sometimes just about rushing place to place and enduring. Enduring is kind of an unpassionate way to live life! I guess what I am getting at is that for those that wake up each morning slightly dreading the day ahead with exhaustion, I want you to know I have had those days sometimes too. Motherhood is hard and losing a child and having to stay on top of my motherly duties is even harder.

At the SisterUp event with Rachel Coleman from Baby Signing Times

This past weekend I had the opportunity to speak at a workshop for women, Sister Up. There were women from so many different industries sharing advice and collaborating on how to run a successful business. I was incredibly inspired and have been thinking about how I can apply some things I learned there into my personal life. If being a mom is a job, why can’t it be a successful business? One woman’s advice stuck out to me so much! Lyn Christianson of Soul Salt gave insight into her daily routine. She explained that every day, right when she wakes up, before she looks at her phone, she lays in bed listing off things she is grateful for for about 1 minute. Then she meditates for 2 minutes and “centers herself” and breathes. Then, before she gets out of bed, she plans her day for 2 minutes and sets goals for the day. A total of 5 minutes of “me time” before her feet even touch the floor.

I have never done anything like this before. I am so complacent with my way of doing things that I never have really given back to myself in such a simple way. She promised that if we implement our own version of this, it will change our outlooks on our business. It got me thinking that maybe I need to apply this to my mornings, to my business as a mom. I don’t wake up everyday to be medeocre and with how I have been lately, I feel like I needed to let go of some of the complacency! Bring back some of the “me” from when Hayes was here. When every day was the most magical, miracle of a day.

I imagine that if the first thing I think about in the morning is something I am grateful for, I can’t help but feel a little lighter as I head into my day. I say I am grateful for things, but really thinking about it…I don’t do that often. If I change the way I am looking at tasks, maybe they will feel less like I am just going through the motions. I have said it before, but I need to say it again, I would have given anything to be home with my kids running them to activities last year. To have a normal boring life and now that it is here, I sometimes forget how grateful I am for it. I am sure most of that has to do with not having Hayes with me as a constant reminder of that gratitude, but I need to honor him with how I live, how I mother.

So here is how it will work, first, when you are still in bed you think about everything you are grateful for. It can be as simple as saying you are grateful for the sleep you just had. It doesn’t have to be huge, but being grateful for small things will help you live a life filled with more appreciation. Then, you set the timer on your phone for 2 minutes and begin meditating. Lyn explained that she sits on her bed in cross legged position, sits erect but also relaxes her body and deep breathes. She said she clears her mind by focusing on her breathing. When the timer goes off she opens her eyes and plans her day in her head. She sets her intentions, goals and what she hopes to accomplish during the day for maybe a minute or two. I have set yearly and rarely monthly goals but a daily goal? I haven’t ever done that. I am excited to live more purposefully during my day.

So, starting today, I am changing. I am going to test it out. If you want to do it with me, let’s start. Every morning, if it means locking myself away from the kids in the bathroom to breathe and be grateful for 5 minutes, it is worth it. Let’s see how much we can improve our outlooks on our business, our mothering and our lives. If it means waking up 5 minutes earlier, I can do that. There is always room for improvement especially when it comes to happiness. And I want to be that mom for my kids. Let’s stop being mediocre! Who is with me?

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5 thoughts on “5 Minutes to Becoming a Happier Mom”

rachelnorcal

Yes!
Having already lived through my first incarnation as a mother (with big boys now 21 & 19) & experiencing the busy-ness of balancing full-time job with kids’ school, sports, etc., I am grateful Every Single Day to be getting this “second chance” at motherhood… And being part of this triplettribe (especially being allowed to witness these heartbreaking/heart-opening journeys of child illness & loss, like you and your family with Hayes) just continues to increase my awareness of “what matters.” The fact that the pregnancy (& “aftermath”) have been so physically challenging to me is another life obstacle and lesson, literally forcing me to slow down and only do what is most important. To get creative about it and to ask for (and graciously accept!) help from family, friends, doctors, strangers, etc.
I love the idea of taking (minimum!) five minutes every morning between waking and actually getting out of bed.
I’ve actually been wanting to establish a more regular meditation practice- minimum 20 minutes/day – and love this book by Sharon Salzberg called “Real Happiness” (it’s a 28-day introduction to basic meditation/mindfulness.. comes with a CD with 8-9 guided meditation tracks, too).
I’m loving your blog, Savanna! Love the variety of topics, always grateful for your willingness to share your ups & downs & in-betweens. You’ve got a beautiful story, message, & voice – keep sharing!!

Let me know what you think… she’s the author of one of my all-time favorites (& I’m sure it’s a bestseller) called “Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness.” It’s a beautiful book – she’s so real & down to earth.
It’s one of my “nightstand books” – it has helped me SO much in the last few years, especially the forgiveness meditations (forgiving others & ourselves, asking for forgiveness).