Saturday, October 24, 2009

You know you've reached your potential when you get arrested for driving your RECLINER under the influence.

I'm not making this up. I promise.

Some extremely (bored) creative man in Minnesota not only thought it would be a good idea to make a portable recliner with parts out of his old lawnmower motor, but he actually had the nads to drive the thing out in public while intoxicated. Oh, and get this, he was arrested for DWI after he ran his white trash lazy-boy-mobile into a parked vehicle. I love it!

Seriously, who does that? I honestly want to know the thought process that went into making such a mode of transportation?

I can only imagine...

"Yew know what Ima gonna do? Ima turn that old lawn mower motor over yander into an EN-GIN for this here lazy-boy. Then I'm drive this thang to Bills beer shack and pick up all the fly ladies, cause ever-body knows I'm the sheeit when I roll up in this bad boy. So what if I only got 2 teeth? It don't matter no more, cause I can get hella booty in this here motorized re-cliner."

I'm not sure if it's possible for me to get intoxicated enough to be caught dead riding in a portable recliner. Although, it does have a cup holder and a stereo, so that's somewhat enticing. Perhaps if it was rolling on dubs, I'd think about riding along. Maybe...

So tell me, what idiotic move has landed you in jail, or at the very least, should have?

People do that all the time here in Mayberry. They may not have a portable recliner, but they do have their fancy schmansy designer golf carts that they ride around in or their gazillion dollar ATV's. Even the teenagers get drunk and drive their motorized scooters around. It's sad really..

You already know what landed me in hot water (and out of a concert) too much beer and not enough port-o-potties.

Believe it or not the very first post that I ever did was when a guy in Ohio got a DUI while driving a motorized bar stool. It was April 1st of this year, and I knew at that moment that I couldn’t keep my smart-assedness to only myself and my close friends any longer. You did a great job with breaking down his thought process!

We had so much fun laughing about that at work (I'm a bartender) this weekend. The funny thing is, some of my customers were talking about the "how" behind making them... Some of them have motorized bar stools - for racing. Yes, it's a real hobby!!!

I understand it's fairly common for people to get nailed for DWI on their lawn tractors. Especially in small towns, where the local bar is farther than walking distance but closer than driving distance. Not that I would know anything about that...

Oh, I defintiely should have gone to jail a few times. But I am proud to say that I have never driven a recliner while under the influence. And if I ever do, the cops are very welcome to take my ass away and lock it away for the rest of my life.

Inspired... too bad he blew it. I was made to endure the Soap Box Derby in Akron, OH for all of my youth. (Borrrr-ring) Electrified recliners sound a great deal better. The Chamber of Commerce should jump on this, if you ask me.