Monday, March 24, 2008

An A For Effort

The Chinese have already won the gold medal as far as we're concerned. In what you ask? Oppression of course! No one beats Steven Seagal in the kitchen and no one beats the Chinese in beating down opposition.

The Chinese government has ordered a crackdown on ticket scalpers known as yellow bulls before the Olympics by threatening up to four years of "re-education through labor". Take that, gulag.

"(Offenders involved in) the counterfeit, alteration, and illegal selling of tickets for major events can be detained according to (relevant) laws," the [Beijing News] quoted the unnamed spokesman as saying.

"Those deemed to have seriously disturbed public order can be detained for re-education through labor," the spokesman said.

The Chinese are willing to go to any end to ensure a perfect Olympic Games even if it means putting thousands in jail. Add the touts to the list of Tibetans, homeless and Three Gorges Dam blockers. Soon the group of people being crushed by the government will be picked as randomly as Stalin's purges.

Add this to the decree that there will be no live broadcasts or telecasts from Tienanmen Square, constant surveillance during the Games and the fact that the US and other governments are going out of their way to say the Chinese actions are not related to the game and we have the makings of the best Olympics ever!

Then again, we could be making a big deal out of nothing. I've seen Hogan's Heroes a bunch of times and that didn't look so bad. I'm sure Chinese labor camps are just as cool as the Nazi POW camps. That Colonel Klink sure had a heart of gold.