I found it so impressive and I liked his hustle and his sparkle. So now, here we are.

Paul is a self-love coach who wants to empower every living thing to love itself a little bit more.

His podcast episode went up last Tuesday, so if you haven’t listened yet, you HAVE to. He really is a shining star and has so many helpful tips and tricks for self love. I’m so excited to have him on the blog today to share his tips for self love. Here’s Paul:

Oh hey TSC fam! It’s your boy Paul Fishman, resident Self Love Coach and “you do you” activist. So, you read the title of this post and you’re already thirsty for the juiciness that is “not giving two effs” about what others think about you, right?

Well, before I hop into it I want to share that these tips are tools that have worked for me and my clients after using them consistently. Each person has a different story and each person uses these techniques differently. That’s why I created The Self Love Diet which not only gives you strategies to break free from the chains of other people’s opinions, but also teaches you to love yourself for who you are on an unconditional level.

A little about me: I was the boy who lived for every other damn person in my life. I did whatever my parents told me. I sacrificed myself to make my friends happy. I pushed myself and my truth aside to be the Paul that everyone expected me to be. And you know where that got me? MISERABLE.

Over the past nine years I’ve been working on unconditionally loving myself regardless of what others think. I’ve been living that IDGAF life to the best of my ability and real talk, it takes daily work. I ask that you be gentle with yourself as you move through this phase of your life. Oh and remember, you are worth it, you deserve it and you are not alone!

I’d like to introduce you to the P.A.U.L. Strategy which I created to help support your journey to a zero fucks given life in four steps! Ready? Me too.

P – Presence – did you know that 80% of our day is spent worrying about the past or having anxiety about the future? That leaves only 20% where we’re fully present! Anxiety happens when we get caught up in the ‘what-if’s’ and worry about things we can’t control. By getting present you’ll be able to kick the ‘what-ifs’ to the curb and live the beautiful life that you have right now! Think: ditching the cell phone for the first 15 minutes of your day.

A – Accountability – you are in charge of your feelings and your life. If you’re truly ready to love yourself unconditionally you’re going to have to start holding yourself accountable for the stories you’re telling yourself. Start noticing when you’re getting caught up in what others are thinking of you. Make a note of it in your phone. Write down what you were doing, who you were with and any other defining factors that lead to you feeling anxious about what others think!

U – Unconditional Acceptance – yo, if stopping the negative self talk and anxiety was easy the world would be a much happier place. Take a deep breath and realize that you are doing your very best and that’s all that matters! What would happen if you gave yourself permission to be ok with where you are?

L – Love – I’m talking about that self love, fam. The kind of love that comes from within. So you’re caught up in the drama on the ‘gram, the amount of likes you aren’t getting and the feeling that the Instagram algorithm literally hates you. What if instead you sent some love your way and celebrated the likes, comments and followers you already have?! What would that feel like?

Ok, there you have it. My 4 tips to stop giving a fuck about what others think. You’ll notice there is a theme that ties all of these things together and that theme is YOU. You have to make the choice to create these habits. That’s why it’s called Self Love not, Paul-gave-me-a-magic-pill-to-love-myself love.

Oh and one last thing. You have a beautiful community around you that is 100% without a doubt going through the same struggle that you are. If you need support, ask for it. Have a conversation about the hard stuff. That is what really fosters growth. Reaching out and asking for support.

Thank you so much for taking the time to learn more about the P.A.U.L. Strategy and how it can support you in living that zero fucks lifestyle. If you’re interested in working with me to develop these skills and manifest a life of unconditional love for yourself please consider applying for my coaching program The Self Love Diet, A three pillared approach to loving yourself unconditionally.

For a limited time I’m giving all TSC readers 10% off registration by mentioning code SKINNY in your application.

The only issue I had with this podcast was the comments on bisexuality. He stated he enjoys having sex with women and is attracted to women and/or energy, “but we still need to fit inside a box.” So, he identifies as gay. As someone who is bisexual and an activist, it kind of bummed me out. We deal with erasure all the time. In fact, we are the largest group in the LGBTQ+ community, yet only 1 in 4 bisexulas have only ever told anyone they were bisexual. Maybe I missed something, but it just kind of hit me in the stomach hard because I always felt I had to fit myself in a box in the past before I got past the stigmas of being bi and fully loved and accepted myself and said “hey, it’s okay that I don’t have to label myself either gay or straight.” and fight against the stigmas. Everyone was always like “You’re gay.” or “You’re going through a phase. You’re really straight” Partly, I believe because people still battle with the idea of someone being just in-between gay or straight somewhere on the spectrum. Even though, I am more attracted to women than men. I still enjoy both. But I still get boxed or get stigmatized haha.

That aside, I really did love this podcast and I love what he is teaching everyone about the importance of loving yourself. Am interested in what his program has to offer and will genuinely check it out. Just kind of wanted to bring that up and maybe open up a dailogue or open up the mind for healthy communication. All the love. Truly. xx