NOT, OH, LEERY OF COWS IN CHICAGO

Got milk? No, but got a cow. Several Chicago agencies are participating in the city's "Cows on Parade" art exhibit, decorating life-size fiberglass cows scattered throughout downtown. Among the herd: Euro RSCG Tatham's "PiCOWasso" and Foote, Cone & Belding's mirror-coated cow, based on the theory that advertising "reflects" the consumer. The latter was created by a mosaics artist who also happens to be an FCB maintenance worker.

Close to vest at Time, Conde Nast

The news that Turner, Time Warner and Conde Nast Publications are teaming to create a women's TV and online network to rival Geraldine Laybourne's Oxygen Media was a surprise to many, including Time Inc. CEO-Prez Don Logan. The day the deal was announced, Conde Nast publishers, gathered at their yearly publishers meeting with President-CEO Steve Florio and Chairman Si Newhouse Jr., naturally assumed they would be filled in. However, they weren't given too much more information from their fearless leaders. Newhouse, one attendee reports, stood up and read the Turner-produced news release and then announced that he would not be answering any questions.

Computing future of PC trade-ins

Gateway shook up the PC market with its offer to let new owners trade in their Gateways on the latest models after two years. The first trade-ins come due next May, so what's Gateway going to do with a warehouse full of slightly used PCs? "What we potentially will have is a whole new segment," says Anil Arora, chief marketing officer. "My analogy is the automobile industry. Until something like 15 years ago, they did not have this kind of trade-in element to the industry, and all of the sudden you had this huge secondary market" for almost-new used cars. One idea being explored: moving Gateway's used PCs into schools, which could deliver a lot of good will.

Freshening up old bodies

Good news for olfactorily sensitive Gen Xers! Thanks to Shiseido, aging baby boomers won't have to smell so bad. The Japanese cosmetics colossus says it has discovered a substance that causes a body odor unique to the middle-aged and elderly. It also has learned how to thwart it. Next September, Shiseido will launch in Japan-using a brand name other than Shiseido-products including body shampoo, body powder and body lotion that will "freshen the body odor that is particular to senior citizens." No word yet on ad plans, but Adages would be happy to pass along readers' 2-scents worth on potential taglines.

That's Mr. Whiskas to you, mate

Seeking to fill his team's kitty, Australian Rules football star Garry Hocking officially changed his name to Whiskas, after Mars Inc.'s cat food brand. The sponsorship deal will raise up to $120,000 for the cash-strapped Geelong Football Club. A portion of the money also will go to an animal shelter. Hocking-er, we mean Whiskas-says that while this commercialism has "outraged" football traditionalists, he sees it as a "bit of fun." And he plans to change