~ practicing & perfecting walking with Christ

Category Archives: Prayer

Oh Lord. Lo davirm indeed. Thank you for last night. The joy that now floods my soul for an evening of community. And love. And fellowship. And delightful children and adults with talent.

It was an evening to remember. And perhaps before I forget anything, I should give a record for the joy that is in me—beginning with my newest Gastonia BFF Alex, who writes music and sings so very beautifully. Yet she began with a belly button song that was priceless. She’s adorable. Thank you for giving me Alex this year. May you continue to flood her soul with your joy and wisdom. She is indeed a soul sister.

Then Ana. (Aaaaah-na to me). She has a beautiful voice! It reminded me of Lily’s. Oh so soothing. She is fun! Lord, thank you for bringing her to us. Prosper her so that she may have a dynamite ministry in your name one day. Yes, she also closed the show with a seminary Spears number that was so fun and clever. She’s gifted. Thank you for gifting her.

And then came a new talent that I knew nothing about until a couple weeks ago – Keith & Olivia Ginn. Oh so very beautiful – and fun (Ikea! Ha!) – and talented! Lord! That was such a pretty song (Blessed Be The Tie)! I could listen to it in eternity. Such a dear couple who truly added grace to the evening.

So, now it’s going to get fuzzy.

Because I can’t remember the order.

But the Lee children! Oh my! What discipline and talent. What a family. Lord, they are beautiful and adorable and excellent. Whatsover is pure, lovely, admirable … surely Hann and Hazel are teaching them such things. I’d love to witness their family life.

And Lucas! Now with his brother Caleb – doing an adorable skit. Makes me giggle remembering them. Lucas is a treat for every show. Thank you for giving me the Browns for a long time. They are forever friends and I never want to lose that. Lily’s voice is perhaps my favorite voice in all the world – and you gave her to me for a long time. She sang an Easter song that silenced the hollers. Amazing how we can go from nonsense to reverence when Lily sings. Prosper them and bless them beyond their wildest dreams. That’s the thing, holy God, the people who participate in the show are truly exceptional in character and not just talent – that is what I see. There is this humility to their talent that impresses me greatly.

Then Elihe and Erin! Oh my. They are growing in grace and talent before our very eyes! Lord! That was incredible! And beautiful and difficult – and then the duet along with cello & violin – lo davrim (that’s no words in Hebrew) – I’m glad they love this show as much as I do. I can always count on them to step it up – and they did so in abundance last night.

Milling! Oh so adorable. Milling is a new pianist who played a number called Say Cheese. It was delightful, which matched her smile and enthusiasm and personality. Oh I’d love to be friends with this delightful girl. I think I’ll work at making that happen!

And that back table! Pedro, John, and Travis among others! Cracking me up! Because they hollered and rooted for them all with great zeal. And what a Student Council! Many of them showed up at 4:00 to help with the meal and twinkling décor. I’m going to enjoy this council. They are truly servant leaders, who desire seminary community, and are willing to make that happen.

Thank you Father, Son and Holy Spirit for gracing my vocation with such joy and blessing.

The messianic program is in place and your circumstances hasn’t stopped it.(source forgotten)

Oh Lord, what a lovely find this morning – and oh how true – especially on a day where many believe that our future lies in the results of our voting today. Do they really? If so, then this is a serious indictment on all who believe in the sovereignty of You. You know what You are doing – and it does seem like You are giving Americans as much rope as they want in order to hang themselves on it – but still – we are yours – You are eternal – life is abundant and You will never leave us or forsake us – never means never. Ah, Lord, I want to be a part of your messianic program – in whatever way you deem best. And at 54 I still don’t really know what you deem from one day to the next – today I think I will clean out the kitchen at the seminary – and enjoy working alongside my enjoyable co-workers. See! – even in the mist of all the messiness this world brings – you bring beautiful things – I must find that quote. Found it.

Who can make trouble when you send me peace. (from Streams in the Dessert)

Oh Lord, can I really get my head around how truly incredible you are and your ways being so high – yet the attention to every detail of my life is noticed by You.

So on this day of elections, I thank you that I am at peace – and that you calm my anxious heart always and completely. May you do likewise for all my sisters and brothers. In the mighty and all powerful name of Jesus, Amen.

My day often starts out in my living room with some much needed and very enjoyable God-time. I’ve never been a fan of the term “quiet-time” even though I don’t talk out loud – and I do like it to be quiet except for the occasional non-lyrical song.

I prefer to think of this time as “exercising-my-soul-while-practicing-the presence-of-God” but that’s a bit hard to sum up in a simple phrase like God-time or quiet-time. And frankly I’m still searching for that just-right-phrase that doesn’t make me sound too sanctimonious for the rest of the world – not that they care – but I digress as usual.

I have a couple practices, during this time, before I culminate the whole process by writing God. I’d call it praying – but as you may know by now it’s more conversational pondering about life in general and specifics.

Like this …

Holy God, why do I seem to forget your ways as quickly as I do? I hate that about myself – I hate being bogged down in my own head with thoughts that are false – and even if they are true – why should I care? Why do I need the approval of others? Is it a natural human tendency that needs to be rooted out daily – one of those besetting sins – that I can never wrap my head around?

Besetting … hmmmm … [trouble or threaten persistently] – yes – I may not remember what the word means but I definitely have the issue.

So I repent – confess – and ask You to uproot it and destroy it so that I would quit it – I do long for that. Funny how some sins we love and others we really hate – and I wish I hated all the others as much as I hate this one. I love you Lord – may I rest in your light and glory and not try and create something in my own mind – but allow You to excite me with your ways – they truly are higher. Amen.

… now to the rest of the day …

rushing to get ready … very low maintenance woman … jump in my car … 45 minute drive to my work place … listening to the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir … music that truly aides in lifting my emotional well-being.

My “aha moment” comes 24 hours later …

It was the next morning when I realized how grand yesterday was – because! … I realized that God had taken my sin (that besetting one) and replaced it with His grace and goodness! He let me take my eyes off myself – and my need to win everyone’s approval – and put the focus on him and others. Now that – in my opinion – is truly miraculous. And extraordinary and not-so-typical-kind-of-day.

And – best of all – incredibly FREEING!

Can I just tell you how free I felt all day?! My trek home was even more enjoyable than my trek in (and that was listening to XM’s Bridge station).

So, this is what I wrote God just a moment ago:

Oh Lord, yesterday started off so icky – and by the time I arrived to my work place I was high on You – and it was good – to just revel in You – and to forget the world for a while – and to focus on Jesus – and His love and goodness to me – oh how refreshing it was – the whole day – to truly “rise above it” – practicing your presence and reveling in the knowledge of you – thank you for that – restoring my joy to overflowing – I wish I could maintain that level of emotion every day of my life – but somehow I don’t even think it is practical – it takes the struggle and lessons to make me more like Jesus – and often that doesn’t look like a day to feel so positively free – that is what it was – this freeing day.

It reminds me of the verse in Galatians: It is for freedom that Christ has set us free, stand firm then and do not let yourselves be burdened by a yoke of slavery. (5:1)

Lord, I wish I could bottle the freedom that is found in Christ – it is the greatest freedom in the world – that raising yourself above everything that is inferior.

[back to the reader]

And now you are caught up to my pondering of how and why yesterday was simply glorious.

It reminds me of a favorite quote:

“Raise yourself above everything which is inferior to God Himself, if you want to be what he wants of you – and in doing this you will find peace in your whole being. If you would act according to the being in which God has created you, your nature would be so noble that there would be no pains which you would shun, it would be so valiant that you could not bear to leave anything undone, but you would reach out for that which is best of all, for that great oneness which is God, knowing that to be your only riches. And then in mercy you must give your riches to others, and make rich those who are poor, for those who love truly will never fail in their free gifts to those others who wish with all their heart and all their will have surrendered themselves to God’s love. True love has always given what it had to give, always conquered what it had to conquer, always withheld what it had to withhold … That is why you must choose and love God’s will alone in all things.”

I don’t normally go on twitter first thing in the morning – but often I check e-mail. That’s when I saw I had a new follower – I’m up to eight – thank you Catriona. But once there – you probably know how it goes – you click on things that can render you ineffective and unproductive for a good-morning-God-Time. However, today was different. I saw a tweet from Nancy Lee DeMoss telling you what she prays for herself. It was very good – and it made me want to do my own top ten – which I did – and here it is. That’s the sort of God-Time I can totally get into!

In reflection, this is what I often pray for — hoping to become:

1. One of God’s intimates – Years ago I read in Bruce Demarest’s book – Satisfy your Soul – that God doesn’t have favorites, but he indeed does have intimates – ever since – I’ve asked God if I can be one of his intimates.

2. A Self-Controlled Woman. This one comes up way too often. And I find that I often lose the battle.

5. The Nearness of God. I love to feel God’s Spirit. I don’t want to just know him in my head – I want to feel him in my heart.

6. His leading. I often think I’m going in my own strength once I finish my morning God-Time. Hence, I often close my prayers with “Lead on O King Eternal.”

7. Make me into the kind of woman You enjoy rejoicing over. I can’t help but think about that stadium filled with saints – and that verse in Zephaniah (3:17) where the Lord will rejoice over you with singing – and C.S.Lewis’ quote that we are working on becoming everlasting splendors.

8. Don’t let me be a heretic – and lead anyone astray. In my current vocation, I have young women who come to me daily for guidance. And I am not your typical black and white type thinker – I love being “grey” in my thinking and landing on the fence with many issues that are not salvific in nature – “all things to all people” sorta woman – that’s me. Hence, “Lord, don’t let me be a heretic.”

9. Help me to love those I have a hard time loving. This is a biggy for me. And probably the one I fail at the most.

10. That I bring Glory to God alone. Wow – can I get in the way of this one. Not that it’s my love language – that would be “time” – but affirmation is so lovely – and wouldn’t it be nice if we only needed the applause of One?

11. Make me a grateful woman always. I would have to say that my prayers/conversations with God are more in the gratitude category than the petition category. I know I am a blessed woman.

12. Keep me from evil. How could I forget this one?! One week later I am adding #12 to my top ten. Because I just prayed it. As a child, my mom would do our prayers with us. This is the one request I remember the most. I didn’t even know what evil was – and my childlike brain thought “eagle.” To this day i realize how very much God has answered this prayer.

So, with this said – regards my petitions/prayers – thank you Nancy Lee DeMoss for the inspiration – I have one further comment – my prayers are more like conversations – they are very self-absorbed in nature – and filled with gratitude and repentance and begging God to let me be a part of his kingdom advancing activities on earth.