KD: “I’d Say I’m Glad Warriors Lost, But Draymond Would Kick My Nuts”

While acknowledging that the Warriors’ loss to the Cleveland Cavaliers in last year’s Finals played a big part in his joining the team, Kevin Durant told reporters, “I want to say I’m glad they lost, but I’m pretty sure if I do Draymond would kick my nuts.”

In addition to a number of late season flagrant fouls for kicking and hitting other players’ groins, the Warriors’ Draymond Green reportedly spent the entire off-season kicking the nuts of anyone expressing joy at his team’s Finals defeat.

“I shouldn’t even be worried, because what I’m saying isn’t even bad,” said Durant. “But then again, I’ve seen Draymond dropkick a dude’s nuts for watching LeBron James highlights on youtube.”

Warriors coach Steve Kerr also commented on Durant’s thoughts. “I’m glad Kev is here too, but he seriously needs to keep his mouth shut or Draymond’s just going to kick the hell out of his nuts.”