Author's infos

Introduction:

this is my first story and its about some of the fantasys i had in highschool, please comment and tell me how i did. i was thinking about making a series if this gets good comments.not all will be lesbian.

* ding dong, ding dong* the bell goes off signalling the end of math and my perverted teacher, ironically named Mr Cox. Monday my next class, sport. I head down the stairs to the locker room to change.
My name is Sasha, i'm 15, toned abs, skinny, long brown hair and brown eyes. When I get down to the locker room my best friend Eva is waiting for me.
Eva is slightly shorter than me, also skinny, wavy black hair (dyed) and blue eyes. Eva can be out spoken when annoyed or bored but she is mostly shy. She is really stubborn. I’m sure if she wasn’t my friend she would have been kicked out by now for back chatting teachers by now. you see there is a rumour going around that I give great blowjobs and will keep my mouth shut about it so male teachers like to look(well oggle) at me and wont look away when I notice.
I had spent the weekend at Eva’s and I was pretty sure she would have some questions about what we did. "Hi Sasha, can I talk to you quickly?" Eva asks shyly.
“Sure." I walk to my locker and start changing. I was pretty late to class and was sure I could flirt my way out of it. “What do you want to talk about?" I asked though I knew already.
“Saturday night. First can I say that there was quite a bit of drinking and some things probably shouldn’t have happened. Not that it wasn’t one of the best experiences of my life it’s just not the kind of thing that you want the school knowing about" Eva said still only half facing me and never looking at my face, clearly she regreted bringing it up.
“You mean when we fucked and screamed in ecstasy?" I said seductively, my shirt off and C cup breast almost bursting out of my bra. I had turned to face her and saw her glance at my breasts, look at my face and quickly look down to the floor again. Her cheeks were flushed.
“yeah, th-th-that" she said stumbling. She had never stumbled over words before and I was shocked to see how much this bothered her.
her shirt was still on but i could picture massaging her B cup breasts in my hands like on saturday night.
I tried to fix the problem the only way I knew how. I pulled her face to mine and kissed her. She tried to pull away but I held her face in place with one hand behind her head and one on her shoulder. After two seconds she gave up being responsible and kissed me back.
We stood there kissing. I opened her mouth with my tongue and started exploring. She return the favour by exploring my mouth and then got really into it. Eached time our tongues touced it was like a small electricution but plesureable. She hugged our bodies close and undid my bra. I sat her down on the nearest bench and undid her shirt. She started to play with my bare breasts. I pulled her shirt off and undid her bra. We sat there grouping each other half naked. her naked bodie on mie was the best feeling i have had since saturday when we were exploring each other for the first time.
I removed my lips from hers and started kissing down her neck. She started to lay back opening her legs and gasping for air. I kissed her breasts. I grabed the right one and sucked the left one. after half a minute of this i would swap. My tongue tracing circles around her nipples. She started to rub her clit. She was moaning softly. I took my mouth from her breasts to start kissing down her body again. I got to her belly button (witch is really sensitive) and licked. She squealed then covered her mouth quickly with the hand that had been rubbing her clit. She sniffed then licked her hand and then started rubbing her breast.
I made it to the top of her skirt and growled at the material that stood in my way. She giggled and I quickly took of her skirt and panties. Her beautiful cunt was shaven (from the weekend) and glistening wet. I took one last look and dove in with my tongue.
Her pussy tasted delicious. I sucked at it trying to keep the taste in my mouth. She was starting to get really worked up. I moved my tongue to her clit and started flicking that with my tongue. Each time I flicked it her body would spasm. It felt amazing being able to do this to some one I was so close to. I rubbed her slit opening and she tensed. We hadn’t gone this far before and I think she was having doubts. “Is something wrong?" I asked her.
“No but I was wondering if me could '69'? I feel like I’m getting pleasure and your missing out." Eva replied. I found it funny that she always put others before her self. I kissed her lip quickly sat on her face and resumed my attack on her pussy. I could feel her licking up and down my pussy lips and that made me even more excited (if that was possible).
I resumed licking her clit and started slowly fingering her. She was moaning into my pussy and I let out a moan into hers. She took a page out of my book and started to finger me while licking my clit. I pulled my finger out and shoved three in. she moaned deeply, bucked her hips to meet my fingers and did the same to me.
It didn’t take to long until she was holding my face against her pussy. I knew she was close to and orgasm so I intensified my licking and fingering. Almost 5 seconds later she was screaming into my pussy and bitting my pussy lips to stop herself. Her pussy gushed juices and they tasted so good it pushed me over the edge too. Our orgasms lasted a minute each.
I rolled off her and onto the floor to catch my breath. Once we were breathing normally we got changed into normal school clothes, forgetting completely about sport. We sat down and just talked in the locker room waiting for the bell to go. "Thanks for that Eva. I’m sorry I kind of forced it onto you but I just can’t stand seeing you sad."
"It’s ok. I enjoyed you using your force against me, kind of exciting. It was really good. But I have to ask where you learnt how to do that?" Eva asked.
“well first I learnt from some porn movies online, then I first tried some out on Saturday with you, other then that I guess I'm a natural at eating pussy’s, though I think you should be the judge of that.” I said
“You were really amazing, best I have ever had”
“I’m the only you ever had.” We laughed then the bell went. We walked out of the locker room before anyone else even came back. Arm in arm we went to sit with our friends, still thinking about each others naked bodies.

There's a real basis here - some good description, a sense of immediacy and some convincing dialogue (though I agree with the comment that it being only the two of them in a school locker room needs explaining, how come they don't think someone will walk in?). But there are some things you could do to make it much more effective: (a) just now it reads more like a scene from a story, than the story itself - I would suggest more description of both girls, and more 'back story' - you allude to the weekend events, wouldn't it be better to start with those and have this as Chapter 2; (b) type it out in a program like Word and spell-check it before you post it - this will avoid mistakes (like 'grouping' when you mean 'groping', and 'bodie on mie' instead of 'body on me' - or was it 'on mine'?) which matter because they distract the reader from the story. Anyway - a nice start, do keep writing and post some more.

good except for them being the only two in the lockerroom I couldn't quite believe that. I had to reread and you did mention something about her being late but it was sort of hard to notice. I'd read more.