thank you…

over the last 7+ months countless friends, family members and complete strangers have helped me deal with the loss of my wife, 27 hours after she gave birth to our daughter. i never imagined that i would find such a tremendous support system by simply writing about my experiences on my blog. without asking, we’ve been lucky enough to have been given enough toys, clothing, formula, diapers, etc. to quite literally, fill our house from floor to ceiling. we’ve used what we can and donated what we can’t. also, with the help of total strangers, a 5k run/walk was organized to honor liz and to date, (thanks to $7 donations from many of you), we’ve raised and distributed over $4300 to widows and widowers facing similar circumstances. i can’t tell you what a difference these gifts/donations have meant to me and to madeline, and i’ve been thinking long and hard about ways that i can help spread this generosity in the hopes of helping others who need it more than us.

a little over a month ago, singlemindedwomen.com (a site for which i guest-blog) approached me and asked if i’d like to partner with them to help out a charity of my choice. they provided me with a list of charities, one of which really caught my attention…my stuff bags foundation is a non-profit organization that provides abused, abandoned, and neglected childrenóranging in age from newborn to 18 years oldóthroughout the united states with personal belongings to help fulfill their needs and lend a sense of comfort as they are shepherded through the foster care system. using the online gift registry, charitable givers can purchase essential items like clothing, books, art supplies, and toys, which will be forwarded on to the my stuff bags foundation.

for those of you who’ve gotten to know me over the past few months, you know where i stand politically. if you click through to the site, you may be surprised to find that their spokesperson is someone with whom i disagree politically. despite this, i wholeheartedly support this charity for all the good that they’ve done for abused, abandoned and neglected children. now…i’m not asking for anything here, but if you’re looking for a way to make a difference this holiday season, this organization is a great one. if you’re hoping to send something to madeline, instead please consider donating the equivalent amount to my stuff bags so that other children can feel the love of countless people they will never meet.

Matt-This is so awesome…I will definitely be donating! Thank you for being involved…you are ::awesomesauce::.
A few years ago I got an email from our local Jaycee’s about some kids in the area that needed help at X-mas time. There was one gir in particular that I bought for that just broke my heart. This girl was 12 years old, and she was asking for socks and kitty litter (!). I called the woman who sent the email and she told me that this young girl’s mother was in jail, no father in the picture and she was living with her grandmother, who refused to give her help with anything. The girl had a kitten and her grandmother wouldnt give her any money for it. It made me so sad that I went out and bought this girl all kinds of stuff for herself and the kitty. I never did get to meet the girl, but the woman who sent the email (she was from CYS) said that she couldn’t believe that it was all for her. I don’t think I have ever given or received a gift that was more rewarding than that. So, despite the fact that it might be a harder year for people, financially speaking, I hope that people contribute, to your charity and/or others….

What a wonderful cause! I’ll pass this along after I make a donation. A child in the foster care system shouldn’t have to carry what little belongings they have in a garbage bag (I hear that story way too often).

No matter what political affiliation, I think we all agree that children should not be lacking.

Matt, It’s so great that in a world where people disagree on so many things we can at least all agree that a simple act of kindness can change lives.
You have shown great courage moving forward with your daughter and paying it forward at the same time.
I would only like to add that for those people who can’t afford to donate monetarily that they could volunteer to help out with crisis nursery or even become foster parents.
An often overlooked area is “respite”. Many parents of special needs children need a break. Counties look for individuals or families willing to take a child into their home for a few hours, a day or a weekend, whatever works to give their primary caregivers a break. It is a very worthwhile endeavor for the parents, the provider and the child.
Madeline has brought out the best in you and no doubt Liz would be so proud.
Take Care Matt!

I am all choked up. Great cause. I looked everywhere to see if I could help assemble or pass out bags in the MN. Looks like you have to live in the CA to do that. I am going to have fun picking out items for the bag. I love the choice encouraging creativity. The weather looks so nice in the CA! Freezing ass cold and getting colder in the MN…. I feel like movin….

I just happened to stumble across your blog the other day and I am so glad I did…you are incredible! This is such a great cause and I am so in for doing my part…and that picture of you and Madeline is awesome!

Why must Dads always hang their children upside down? Jason does the same with the boys. Just be prepared, the days lie ahead soon when “again, again!” will be all you hear, and tears follow when you get tired of hanging that adorable girl by her toes!
You both look great in sunny CA.
Take care!
Beki & all

Hi Matt and Maddie~
I have been following your blog for months. I am from MN, also, only waaaay NORTH of the Twin Cities, and also a 4′ 11″ er! (yup, I have heard all the short jokes!)

Even though it feels as though I cannot adequatly express my thoughts and feelings, I just had to tell you how absolutly AWED I am by you. You never cease to amaze me with your gut wrenching words, your beautiful, funky pictures and the way you honor your wife with your whole being. You are an inspiration and you have a whole lot of people who admire you and love you to pieces!!!

What an amazing charity! Children have always been very sacred to me and I would love to do more on my part. I am going to share this with all of my friends and family. I am going to see if I can get my kids Brownie/Boyscouts or 4-h groups involved. We usually make boxes for other causes but I feel I “need” to get some “My Stuff Bags” out to these kids or maybe we can make the blankets. I knit hats for the preemies/newborns at our hospital and was just about to make some blankets for Project Linus!! Chelsea was given a blanket from this organization when she was undergoing alot of her medical treatment/investigation and it really helped ease the anxiety and insecurity the doctors put on her!! Thanks so much for being such an amazing soul and making a difference! You are the best!!

This is a great charity. The cool thing about you picking this charity that Michael Reagan is the spokesperson for, is that it goes to show how MANY OF US have different political views, yet often share the same heart for worthy causes. Even though you and I don’t share the same political views, and probably have very little in common (except that we are both parents in CA), I still am drawn to your blog, and to some amazing qualities about you. Politics are not everything!

just looked at your flickr. looks like you’ve been in sf! the skywalker ranch, awesome. i’ve always wanted to go there…well mostly work there or with films related to…well, you know. there aren’t tons of big budget freelance options in sf. wondering if you were there for work…

It’s so nice to see how you’ve decided to give back. I miss your updates, but I hope the slowing in posts means that you’re easing into an everyday life with Madeline and starting to develop a good routine. Even if it’s sporadic, I hope you continue to update us on your adorable, growing baby girl.

Of course, props to ya for bringing such a great charity to the fore! Now I know where I can send blankies when the craft bug hits. But about the pic: I have never seen such a relaxed, nonplussed little one. She looks so at home that I think it’s a trick photo, and SHE is right-side up, and YOU are upside down!

oh, come back Matt! … missing the beautiful pics and love story you’re telling….waiting for a new post is like waiting for the next book in a series to come out. (ok, maybe not a whole new book, but it definitely seems like a new chapter has started. hope it’s a good one)

Matt, I want to tell you about a friend of mine who just lost her husband in a tragic accident at work. Her name is Andrea and she lives near Buffalo, NY. She has two children ages 4 and 17 months. She is going through a really rough time right now. We belong to an Internet group of women, the majority of us are moms and we are all like sisters. Several members of the group are flying and driving in to be with her for the funeral this week and many of us have planned trips to visit her over the coming weeks and months. Andrea is displaying amazing strength during this time. Because you have been in a similar situation maybe you could be a comfort to her in the coming days and weeks. I don’t want to post her contact information here, but her name is Andrea Row, and if you email me I can give you her email address, etc. Thanks Matt.

still checking obsessively to see if you’ve updated. part of me thinks you’re done with us and part of me thinks you couldn’t just leave us hanging without a goodbye. i just can’t imagine not knowing what is going on with you but i would understand if you decided to hang up the blog..or well, i wouldn’t understand but really who gives a shit about that

Heidi,
I saw your posting about Andrea Row. I work with her at The Gow School. I went to the funeral this morning and I bet you were there too. It is just such a tragic loss. It amazes me how strong Andrea is right now. I think she can use Matt L. as an example and see that she will survive and life will go on for her and the kids. It’s so sad though.

I got turned on to your blog from reading Chrissy’s over at Storked! Just a note to say that I think it’s a great thing you’re doing here, and while politically, I’m probably right there with you on the leader of the My Stuff thing, it is a terrific cause. I didn’t know Liz, but if I saw my guy carrying on with life and teaching my sons the way you are Madeline, I would be touched and proud beyond words.

Matt –
Your are the best brother that a sister could ask for. You are my rock. I can’t believe how strong you continue to be. Even though I am your big sister, you influence me more then words could ever say. I love you and Maddy so much.

soaring spirits loss foundation

Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation provides Internet based programs, an extensive on-line resource library, annual events, and peer-based support for people grieving the loss of someone they love. Visit www.sslf.org to learn more about the programs we offer.