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Renee DeFranco

December 22, 2014

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Abusive Bosses

No one deserves to go to work each day and deal with their version of Thomas Harvey. He was the notorious high-level male manager at the National Education Association’s (NEA) Alaska affiliate who subjected three female employees to daily verbal abuse, profanity, and physical intimidation. He’d been known to shake his fists at women, grab their shoulders, and come within striking distance. What’s worse? His company stood behind him, promoting him to executive director despite the women’s complaints. But in 2001, the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) filed a lawsuit against NEA-Alaska, and the $750,000 settlement awarded sent a powerful message: Workplace abuse targeted at women is unlawful and will not be tolerated.

According to a recent study by the Employment Law Alliance, 44 percent of U.S. employees say they’ve worked for an abusive boss. While dirty looks and snide comments are fast becoming the office norm, one day your superior may cross the legal line—and you can, and should, take action. “Whenever your supervisor’s treatment has a negative impact on your ability to perform your job, you have an obligation to yourself and your employer to turn that situation around,” says Kirstin Muller, an employment attorney in Santa Monica, Calif. “Our most common complaint is yelling,” Muller explains. “Throwing things is another big issue.” Below, some ways to handle an unhealthy relationship with your blowhard boss.

Know where to draw the line. If your boss makes a derogatory statement about your religion, ethnicity, or gender, it’s a given that the behavior’s completely unacceptable. But what about the gray areas, like subtly embarrassing you during a staff meeting or outwardly grabbing your shoulder? “Anything that’s generally a put-down rather than constructive criticism is generalized harassment,” Muller says. Basically, if you feel uncomfortable or threatened in any way, take the issue to Human Resources. The sooner you face the problem head-on, the quicker and easier it’ll be to reach a resolution.

Befriend HR. While it would be ideal to head off your dilemma directly with your boss, without the involvement of a third party, that’s usually not the best game plan, warns Muller. That’s because abusive managers are more likely to retaliate, since they lose their cool so easily. It’s a better idea to go to HR, since theoretically, it’s their job to stand up for your rights as an employee. Don’t worry about whether you feel comfortable with HR, Muller explains: “HR professionals should be able to handle your complaint in a professional manner, even if they’ve never spoken to you before.” And they should do so in a timely fashion. In fact, the moment you walk into their office, the investigation should begin, and steps should be taken in the coming days or weeks.

Arrive armed with specific examples. When it comes time for a meeting, leave your emotions at the door and come equipped with concrete examples of your boss’ abusive actions. Evidence of nasty e-mails and detailed documentation of humiliating experiences, with context and witnesses noted, will get HR on your side more quickly—and you’re more likely to score points for professionalism, too. Then, explain how this situation impacts the bottom line. Make the connection between your boss’ actions and how they’re reducing the productivity of yourself or your team.

Don’t be afraid to go over their heads. On the other hand, if your HR department is just as dysfunctional as your relationship with your boss, consider taking your grievances to the president of the company or a higher level of management. And if they too aren’t responsive, then think about taking it to court—which, unfortunately, requires even more patience. Expect a wait time of one to four years, since they’re overwhelmed with cases, Muller explains. On a brighter note: “The greater the abuse is and the less the company does to stop it once you’ve exhausted their internal complaint mechanisms, the greater chances for success and financial victory,” Muller says.

Know your rights. Right now, 11 individual state legislatures are considering laws to specifically prohibit abuse in the workplace. “These cases are just starting to hit the courts,” Muller says. Meanwhile, there are organizations that protect workers’ rights, such as the EEOC and Equal Rights Advocates. It’s important to speak up and do your part to make change. Explains Muller, “The majority of employees accept a lot of behavior because they don’t think they can change it. But they can.”