How To Improve Intimacy In A Relationship

Sometimes even in the best relationships, it’s possible to lose the special feeling of intimacy with our partners. Intimacy isn’t just about sex. It’s about connection and attraction. Knowing “why” we’re with our partner. It’s about understanding why you’re together and strengthening your common bonds.

It’s easy to get distracted with work, with money, bills, kids and after school activities, television, and social media.

(Hint: Treat your one on one time like a meeting. You’ll have the best results if you set an “agenda” for your alone time.)

Here are 50 ways to increase intimacy and enhance the physical and emotional connection with your partner.

The first 10 are completely non-sexual, though they can certainly evolve into sex. The next 30 are ways to increase your intimacy during sex, and the last 10 are ways to increase your intimacy after sex.

12 Ways to Increase Non-Sexual Intimacy and Romance in a Relationship

1. Take turns giving each other massages with sensual oils. Listen to soothing music.

2. Read to your partner while they take a long, soothing candle-lit bubble bath. (Remember what you discovered in Stroke of Genius, even men love to be adored and pampered.) Have him read to you the next time.

3. Talk about how you met and what you initially liked about each other. What was the attraction? Was it purely physical? Was it intellectual? Talk about what you didn’t like about each other, and how you came to fall in love. Recall your first dates and your best times. “Remember the time we [insert blank here]?”

4. Lay in bed spooning while talking about your best shared memories. Does he make you feel safe? Tell him. Does he make you feel desired? Do you desire him? Tell him. Verbal communication combined with physical contact creates a unique, almost unbreakable intimate bond.

5. Go to the gym with your partner. Role play like you don’t know each other and ogle each other flirtatiously while you’re working out. Let people see you ask for his phone number, and leave together like you’re about to hook up. You’ll get a big thrill out of people’s reaction.

6. Text each other short messages about why you love each other. Or what you find most attractive. Send him pictures taken when you first started dating, or at important moments, like graduations and weddings.

7.Talk about the first time you made love. Maintain eye contact while talking about the first time you made love. Hold contact for at least five minutes while you’re talking.

8. Take turns planning secret dates. One of you does all the planning, and the other has no idea where you’re going, what you’ll be doing, or for how long. Put serious thoughts into these dates — don’t “phone it in.” Plan your dates around romance, and shared sentiment. Was your first date at a nice restaurant or a seedy dive bar? Can you arrange sitting at the same table? Possibly having the same waiter or ordering the same dessert? Keep these dates just about the two of you. Avoid talking about money, children, or anything stressful. Turn the phones OFF!

9. Share a long, passionate kiss before leaving for work in the morning, and when you see each other again at the end of the day. Ask each other about your favorite (or worst) parts of the day. Maintain eye contact. Listen, empathize and respond.

10. Create a distraction-free, media blackout zone! Mark at least one day per week where you make your one on one time a priority. No social media, no phone calls, no text messages, no television. Just the two of you.

11. You’ve heard of family game night, but how about a game night just for you and your man? No, I don’t mean down and dirty games either. I’m talking about poker, dominoes, Halo on your PlayStation, or whatever floats your boat. Remember, this guy chose you as his partner ‘cause he thinks you’re pretty cool to hang out with. Remind him every now and then!

12. How ‘bout a nice, hot shower together? Make it intimate and sensual, but not sexual. Let the whole bathroom get steamy, lather each other up, and talk about anything and everything.

Carving out time for yourself and your partner isn’t always easy, but if you’re consistent, you should feel an improved connection within days of implementing some of these tips.