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Are we oversharing?

It seems to be a bit of a hot topic currently that we are
oversharing photos of our children across social media. Or ‘sharenting’ as it
has become known as.Which to me sounds
like something you do as a teenager up the rugby field after too much Frosty
Jacks. Cor, did you hear about Lisa? She let Craig give her a good ol’
sharenting at the weekend.As a parent
blogger, and avid follower of many others I do not think twice about how
natural it is for parents today to share photos of their children on their
profiles. There has been a small revolution occurring in the last few years,
one that has changed how we see modern parents and that is the honest accounts
of parenting. Not a set up scene, or a paper of the cracks façade but a real-life
insight into what we all go through every single day. This has redefined the
out of reach social expectations we have been so used to in yester years, or
the ridiculous notion we should not share our struggles and suffer in silence. It
is standard to announce pregnancies with scan photos, celebrate milestones all
via photos on social media. Apparently that 7/10 parents would not share photos
of their children online, and some including actress Romola Gerai said that we
should be prosecuted for sharing photos. As a child cannot consent they we are exploiting
them by using their image which could be taken and used, that by sharenting we
are harming our children and their future.

Sharing to much?

Until I had Elijah I didn’t even have a Facebook account set
up, and I joined Instagram on an afternoon impulse. A way to share photos
(mainly of Elijah) as like any proud hormonal new mum I wanted to share and
show him off to the world. What I didn’t expect was to connect with many other parents
but especially other NICU and CHD parents and in turn their photos/posts gave
me hope. That Elijah could grow up and have a normal life, that there were so
many positive success stories, so many people campaigning for things that would
change the future of parents to come for generations. That they were using
their social media platforms to raise awareness, to get a message out there,
and in some cases just to get through the day in one piece. I have shared
photos of Elijah for nearly three years, and my blog followed. My blog is
called The Honest Confessions and that is exactly what I do. I honestly confess
what it is like to have a child in NICU, to face surgery, to be pregnant, my
birth story and my mental health struggles. Do I see this as oversharing? To me
it isn’t, but to document my daily life and feelings it may be to some. Starting
the blog and writing is a way for me to process everything, the good the bad
and the ugly. If I was feeling like this were other people? Would they benefit
from reading my posts? Could it make just one person feel like they are not
alone? To give them hope as other stories have done for me? One post, one photo
that it is all it could take to save someone from feeling like this. That is
why I share our daily lives.

It could be argued that be sharing so much via the blog and
photos of Elijah and now Harlow could be detrimental to them. That they may not
want to read about the time their mum gave birth to them, or find it difficult when they
read my mental health struggles. Elijah is three and Harlow only a month old
they do not know or understand what I write about or share. However, if when
they older they turned around and didn’t want me to share a photo of them or
write about them as such I would stop. I will always be honest with my boys, so
what I have written before will not come as a shock to them. I will not share
photos of them naked, or something that could affect them personally later down
the line. I am in control to a degree of what I put up on my social media and
blog but I am also very mindful of the fact my accounts and blog are public and
on the internet and I cannot control what people could do to the photos. Some
have asked me before what my partner Greg thinks of me sharing so much and so
candidly online, uploading daily posts and stories and the thing is he doesn’t
mind. At times he actively encourages it, being so open online to strangers
gave me the confidence to face my demons and talk to him about how I was really
feeling. It made us closer when I wasn’t hiding how I really felt and told him
the truth.

An expert said that by sharing photos online of our children
then we are encouraging them to focus on appearance and not their personality. Not
sure if she has seen my Instagram feed but it most certainly is not about appearance
and it is all about the personality (well, normally the weird and wonderful
exploits of a toddler and a new born). That this will in turn make them obsess
over getting the perfect ‘selfie’ and fixate on looks. I do not think it is
parents encouraging this but rather the over filtered, over photo shopped media
and the ridiculous expectations they enforce. I have been sharing my post
partem progress online and it has boosted my self-confidence, and taught me to accept
and be proud of my body.

It is your decision whether you share a photo of your
children, just as it is your decision to follow someone that does but this does
not mean they are a bad parent or any less of a parent if they choose to share
photos or not. Do we need to be prosecuted
for this though? No, why don’t we spend this time and energy on teaching our
children to be safe online isn’t that what matters? Why don’t we use social
media for good for once? To raise awareness of issues, to campaign for change to
make someone feel less alone? To promote body condifence. To save a parent from
feeling low? We are in an age where celeb parents upload daily and
show us their real lives, where people rush to complete stranger’s aid via a
call for help put on social media. Where one photo of a poonami explosion
provides some welcome light relief after a rubbish day, or a photo with someone
else in their PJ’s at 16.00 with more bags than Morrison’s make you feel less
alone. Could you argue there is no privacy anymore, that we share all of
ourselves online? Are we invading our children’s privacy? Perhaps, we do share
too much but for the unity, the support and the fact a lot of us are just
trying to get through parentdom in one piece I am grateful for the sharenters
(seriously who came up with this?).

So yes, for selfish reasons I do sharent, as
it helps me personally and mentally and I hope it helps others and if it does get us through the
day and makes us better parents; I can only see this as a good thing.

I am off to sharent right now, just kidding, the toddler is
naked eating jam on toast.