My friend told me about this story a long time ago, but unfortunately she couldn't remember the title or author, and so for a long time now i've been searching far and wide over the sugarquill and i finally found it! yip-dee-doodles! (now i've got to e-mail her to tell her i found it...) anyway, great fic!

Reviewer: myron

Date: 2005-07-22

Reviewid: 127618

Chapter: 1

YES!!! THAT WAS AWESOME!!!!!!!! well... im off to read some more of ur stories!!

Reviewer: to filled with shame by the fic

Date: 2005-06-13

Reviewid: 123886

Chapter: 1

sorry

Reviewer: Stetchnik

Date: 2005-05-14

Reviewid: 122086

Chapter: 1

That was hilarious! I couldn't stop laughing. WRITE MORE, lol.

Reviewer: mother goose

Date: 2005-05-04

Reviewid: 121356

Chapter: 1

I have one thing to say, and that is *gigglesnort*

Reviewer: Kasey

Date: 2005-04-22

Reviewid: 120289

Chapter: 1

I want to steal a star too!!!

Reviewer: Katja

Date: 2005-04-14

Reviewid: 119594

Chapter: 1

I love all the lines people've been mentioning, and thought I'd add another - "Tomorrow became today, and today became yesterday, and last week remained last week because last weeks are funny that way..."Loved your story - this one had me literally laughing out loud!!

Reviewer: Solarius Scorch

Date: 2005-04-12

Reviewid: 119416

Chapter: 1

"'Very well. It shall be tomorrow at sunset. Do not be late.' Snape stormed out of the Hall, stormed back in, took a muffin, and stormed out again."

I won't comment that. I can't comment that. How the hell would my comment, whatever it would be, look next to something as friggin' hysterical as that?

Reviewer: Ambereen

Date: 2005-03-14

Reviewid: 116512

Chapter: 1

Brilliant as ever.

Snape eating a muffin. I'm in love.

Reviewer: Fran

Date: 2005-03-11

Reviewid: 116194

Chapter: 1

Yet another of your stories that had me almost pissing myself with laughter, never ever stop writing. These were my favourite lines

Hello, Severus,” Albus said. He looked at Ron. “Is there a reason you have a half-naked Gryffindor in tow?

Snape stormed out of the Hall, stormed back in, took a muffin, and stormed out again.

Ignoring, of course, the fact that neither duelist had ever heard the word “pong,” and if they had, would probably have tried to imagine it on toast.

Reviewer: US HP Fan

Date: 2005-02-11

Reviewid: 113546

Chapter: 1

I needed a good laugh today. Thanks for providing it. Loved your story (as usual).

Reviewer: She's a Star

Date: 2005-02-05

Reviewid: 113003

Chapter: 1

Hee! That was delightful. :) Very funny, and it's fantastic to see Auriga pop up in the most random of places.

Reviewer: rarereviewer

Date: 2005-02-01

Reviewid: 112649

Chapter: 1

must say i am continually amused by your farcically parodical ranting (i'm pretty sure i made up a few of those words). the theatre nerd in me loved the comment about deus ex machina- thanks. off to grab a muffin.

Reviewer: Chester159

Date: 2005-01-30

Reviewid: 112480

Chapter: 1

i love you.

Reviewer: Gyakutenno

Date: 2005-01-27

Reviewid: 112260

Chapter: 1

Suits of amore? XD I liked the Pong. And Snape losing, poor devil. And Snape and Ron arguing, and... lots of stuff!

Reviewer: hairy_hen

Date: 2005-01-21

Reviewid: 111620

Chapter: 1

Grar! This is too funny. Dude, I think JKR would really like your fics . . . provided she didn't die laughing first. The bouncing Disarming Spell was priceless; I've always sort of wondered if that could actually happen in a duel. Nicely done!

Reviewer: Casey

Date: 2005-01-18

Reviewid: 111331

Chapter: 1

The story is very silly, but it is saved by this line, which I love.

Ignoring, of course, the fact that neither duelist had ever heard the word “pong,” and if they had, would probably have tried to imagine it on toast.

Reviewer: Ara Kane

Date: 2005-01-18

Reviewid: 111303

Chapter: 1

Hahaha! Another brilliant fic from you! Great work!

Reviewer: Ginny

Date: 2005-01-16

Reviewid: 111116

Chapter: 1

I am laughing so hard I can harldy write. Great Story! Very silly, but great! And snogging is a wondeful word!

Reviewer: louisa

Date: 2005-01-16

Reviewid: 111062

Chapter: 1

This story was so funny I snorted tea out my nose! (note to self: do not attempt to consume hot beverages whilst reading Jacks stories.)

Reviewer: Kit the Brave

Date: 2005-01-15

Reviewid: 111019

Chapter: 1

The thought of Snape lurking behind suits of armor to check and see if anyone else has discovered his Secret Snogging Spot will now haunt me...

Maybe I'll go get some Pong On Toast.

Thank you for this story, which was hilarious from beginning to end, including the disclaimer and the author's notes!

Reviewer: Sue

Date: 2005-01-15

Reviewid: 110966

Chapter: 1

"Snape stormed out of the Hall, stormed back in, took a muffin, and stormed out again." Loved the muffin-taking and all the storming.

Reviewer: Jennifer

Date: 2005-01-14

Reviewid: 110854

Chapter: 1

Luckily, a sitcom was on in the background, so I didn't have to explain why I was laughing so hard I was spitting wine on my screen.

Loved it. Simply loved it.

Thanks.

Reviewer: Rose

Date: 2005-01-13

Reviewid: 110817

Chapter: 1

The muffin. The muffin was definitely my favorite part. It shall haunt me for years to come.

Reviewer: Emily

Date: 2005-01-13

Reviewid: 110806

Chapter: 1

Thank you!

Reviewer: Valerie

Date: 2005-01-13

Reviewid: 110804

Chapter: 1

*laughs hysterically, gasps* That was funny![/Luna]"Ron was already there when Snape hurricaned onto the grounds." Heh, yes, fanfic authors DO tend to over use the word "stormed" whenever Snape goes anywhere.Cute and funny parody; I enjoyed it muchly :)

Reviewer: auror

Date: 2005-01-13

Reviewid: 110799

Chapter: 1

that was pretty funny.

"...and last week remained last week because last weeks are funny that way,..."reminds me of douglas adams.

keep the writing up, or up with the writing. i guess it just depends on how you're holding the paper.:)

Reviewer: Daroga

Date: 2005-01-13

Reviewid: 110783

Chapter: 1

"not simply the stupidest plot device since the invention of deus ex machina." It takes a ... special ... talent to make fun of your own plot. Extra cookies or whathaveyou for the Much Ado ref. Smirk.

Reviewer: kayjal

Date: 2005-01-13

Reviewid: 110781

Chapter: 1

:D nice one. as always ichijouji.

Reviewer: CornedBee

Date: 2005-01-13

Reviewid: 110773

Chapter: 1

I'm rolling on the floor, laughing. What else is there to say?

Reviewer: Pineapple Queen

Date: 2005-01-13

Reviewid: 110754

Chapter: 1

"I need it for heavy lifting and such."

As usual, Jack, your stories are priceless. And I ADORE She's A Star's Auriga Sinistra! Yay!

-PQ

Reviewer: Anjerla

Date: 2005-01-13

Reviewid: 110748

Chapter: 1

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

...I may leave a better review once I've climbed back into my chair and healed the stitch in my side. For now, I have just one word:

BRILLIANT!

Reviewer: Norwegian Blue

Date: 2005-01-13

Reviewid: 110743

Chapter: 1

I was going to do the usual thing and pick out my favorite lines, but it would get tedious, and you know all the lines. I loved the whole damn thing. Funny as hell. Especially the Pong part, because I was thinking that right before you said "like some demented game of Pong." Which you probably meant. A bit drier than I'm used to from you, but still funny as hell. *Bows*

Reviewer: Aaran St Vines

Date: 2005-01-12

Reviewid: 110731

Chapter: 1

Thanks for making "hurricane" into a verb and for the conversation before the duel.

Snogging is so revoltingly brit. I know I prefer the more sophisticated American expressions: smacky mouthing, grubbing, tongue tapping, tonsil tickling, lip-locking, smooching, braces-bonding, mouth-mauling, toung-a-lating, smoochalizing, and good old-fashioned, hot and heavy making out!

But I have often been labeled an elitist snob, or at least three of those four letters.

Reviewer: Miss Gypsy

Date: 2005-01-12

Reviewid: 110729

Chapter: 1

Now THIS made me laugh! Hilarious, excellent and very well done. I liked the Pirates-of-the-Caribbean-esque (or perhaps I'm just uncultured and that's a more commonly0used phrase than I thought) summary about snogging.

My favorite line in the story?

“Erm, I suppose it's too late to say ‘it's not what it looks like?’” Ron said hopefully.

"Tomorrow became today, and today became yesterday, and last week remained last week because last weeks are funny that way, and it was time to duel."

oh god jack, i do so love your ramblings! :P

"“Protego!” Snape yelled, raising his wand to block the spell. It ricocheted off the shield and headed back to Ron, who made his own Shield Charm when the hex came his way. It bounced again and headed toward Snape, and then back to Ron, like some demented game of Pong. Ignoring, of course, the fact that neither duelist had ever heard the word “pong,” and if they had, would probably have tried to imagine it on toast."

lol, again with the ramblings, and i think *someone's* been playing a bit too much playstation/xbox/whatever harry potter games (haha i should talk - only game i ever bothered to finish)

ahhhh, thanks again jack for making me laugh so loud i disturb people who are trying to sleep at some obscene hour of the night.

*kneels down and offers candy to almighty god of Potterverse parody*

Reviewer: ella

Date: 2005-01-12

Reviewid: 110674

Chapter: 1

As usual, you, Jack my dear boy, has made my day.

You just never fail to make me laugh so hard.

(Oh, and I am sure JKR would die laughing if she read your fics. She won't "cry tears of blood and acid".)

Reviewer: Gufa

Date: 2005-01-12

Reviewid: 110671

Chapter: 1

Yes! I knew that was a She's a Star (brilliant, isn't she) reference. And really, there's not much to choose from between you as far as very funny writing goes. I don't know why your irreverent writing [:-)] is so hilarious, but it is. Very funny indeed!

Reviewer: Lana

Date: 2005-01-12

Reviewid: 110658

Chapter: 1

Yes for the Much Ado About Nothing reference! Brilliant!

Reviewer: Erin

Date: 2005-01-12

Reviewid: 110653

Chapter: 1

<i>“Her? The Astronomy professor?” Hermione asked, not really expected an answer. To her mild surprise, one was provided.

“Yes. Not that it's any of your business, but we frequent that... spot. She once threw a coffee mug at me,” he added, apparently talking to himself.</i>

I LOVE "Lamentations" and I literally howled when I read that. Once again, you inspire and induce hilarity.

Reviewer: Erin

Date: 2005-01-12

Reviewid: 110651

Chapter: 1

<i>“Her? The Astronomy professor?” Hermione asked, not really expected an answer. To her mild surprise, one was provided.

“Yes. Not that it's any of your business, but we frequent that... spot. She once threw a coffee mug at me,” he added, apparently talking to himself.</i>

I LOVE "Lamentations" and I literally howled when I read that. Once again, you inspire and induce hilarity.

Reviewer: Dorian

Date: 2005-01-12

Reviewid: 110650

Chapter: 1

Fabulous as always. I laughed out loud in the computer lab :-)

Reviewer: harpinred

Date: 2005-01-12

Reviewid: 110640

Chapter: 1

“Peace!” Benedick

Can I tell you how much I love you for throwing Much Ado about Nothing into a Harry Potter fan fic?

Excellent as usual!

Reviewer: story645

Date: 2005-01-12

Reviewid: 110602

Chapter: 1

This fic ROX. Sorry I can't say anything intelligent, but this fic is just awesome. You take all these ridiculous cliches and make them fun. I love the ping pong duel and you have Ron and Hermione bickering, so cool. I also loved your take on the snogging scene and the word itself, and just great fic. I love Snape's line about feeling sorry for Harry, and his total disgust at the scene. By the way, I totally Snape/Sinastra just one of THE Snape ships.

Reviewer: Angharad

Date: 2005-01-12

Reviewid: 110583

Chapter: 1

Brilliant! And was that a line from "Much Ado about Nothing?" I will now, forever, imagine Ron as Kenneth Branagh, and then freak because that means Ron will look like Lockhart, and won't that be scary!

Reviewer: Vala

Date: 2005-01-11

Reviewid: 110581

Chapter: 1

Once again, Jack whatever-your-name-is that I still don't know, you have managed to make me spit water all over my computer screen. *cleans it up* Funny stuff, as always. Your sense of humor is priceless so don't lose it!

Regards,Vala

Reviewer: Jennifer

Date: 2005-01-11

Reviewid: 110575

Chapter: 1

SQUICK, SQUICK, SQUICK, SQUICK...

I had to use one irritating word in a review, right?

That was good, silly, and...eeewwhhhh, Snape snogging. Snogging is a great word, but not in the same sentence as Snape!

The Sugar Quill was created by Zsenya and Arabella.
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