BABY DIARIES| complete curettage at Week 12 Day 5

On my way to work on board the MRT, I felt a discharge of blood. I checked on myself inside the comfort room, and my underwear was covered with chunks of blood. I washed myself to clean the blood, and I felt something hanging. I gently pulled it, and on my palm beside another chunk of blood was my baby.

She was there so calm and complete. I immediately recognized her round black eyes.

Thank you, dear Lord, for answering my prayers. Despite my doctor’s warning that I might not recognize the baby anymore and everything that would come out will just be blood and tissue, I still was able to hold my baby in my palm, and she went out naturally and so complete. Thank you, Lord.

My little darling, so peaceful and pretty still. So complete despite all the complications.

10:00 am, April 12, 2013

I had my transvaginal ultrasound. The embryo was not there anymore yet my lining, the sonologist explained, was still thick. I asked if it would be something to alarm me or not, she told me that there might still be blood or tissues left inside me that my doctor should attend to.

11:30 am, April 12, 2013

I underwent complete curettage. I remember my doctor told me she needs to clean my ovary and remove everything left from my incomplete abortion. I had my anesthesia inserted from my IV, and a few minutes lost consciousness. I was not able to see my doctor nor talked to her. I just regained consciousness inside the recovery room.

3:47 pm, April 12, 2016

I am nursing my eight-month-old baby boy. God gifted me with a boy after the missed abortion. He must have loved me that much. He loves me still.

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Comments

I am so sorry to hear about your experience. It must have been very hurtful, I can’t even imagine the pain of losing a part of you. I know the loss can’t be forgotten, but I am glad to hear that you have managed to get pregnant again and bring to the world a healthy baby after a few years from your awful experience.

This is very sad. :'( There are a lot who wants to get rid of their babies while some grieve to have lost them. You may have lost him but he will stay in your memory forever. Glad that you have another one who’s making you happy each day. 🙂

Wow, that picture totally shocked me. It must be amazing for you to see your own little baby. It’s hard to loose a baby, I can tell from experience. The more I read online, the more I see mothers speaking about child loss. I had an article today about it actually. Run for KiKa it’s called, if you’re interested. Anyways, how did you say goodbye to your baby? Did you do some kind of memorial ceremony?

My heart breaks for you and this experience. I am sending you all of the loving, supporting, healing, and uplifting energy in this process. I am amazed and inspired by your strength and calm within this. Prayers to you <3

Ohh my, I’m sorry for the loss. And as a father myself, I hurts to see losing your precious child. I don’t know what words to say.. I guess just be comforted with God’s love (and the people around you) and do not blame yourself w/ the miscarriage. And enjoy motherhood w/ that bundle of joy that you will raise with the majority of your adult life.

This really struck home with me. I had a miscarriage a few years ago. I was able to make it to the toilet and everything was released into the bowl. Out of habit I flushed and afterward had the terrible realization I flushed my baby along with all the other blood and tissue. I still feel heartbroken over that. I wish I could have seen that little 9 week old baby. I would have loved to hold it and say goodbye. But shock and habit took that opportunity away from me. I’m glad you got a chance to say goodbye. Good luck if you are trying to conceive again.

Oh my god , I am shivering . How touching is this . So sorry and so happy at the same time for you . How blessed you must feel now , enjoy your little baby to the fullest every minute of his precious life .

It must have been a hard time for you and your family. I’m always lost for words when I hear stories like that. But God’s timing is perfect all the time. 🙂 Now you have a precious baby with you-which I realized is of the same age as my Baby Z 🙂

You know Mommy, I am glad that inspite of everything that happened to you, you are still standing strong and never losing your faith to the Lord Almighty. That’s why you are being blesses with a happy family life. Take care always. 🙂

sis, I am so amazed by your courage.I don’t even know what to do if this happens to me. Grabe, formed na si baby o, usually, I only see this pic online in Google from people I don’t know. This is the first time to see an actual photo from someone I know.

My heart sank when I read your post, your baby is beautiful and an angel right now watching after you. God does work in mysterious ways, at times we might not know why things happen but eventually we understand.

It’s hard for me to look at your picture and read this post. I also lost what would have been my first child. When I went to my doctor she removed the fetus but cut her in half… I was devastated. I’m blessed though because I have 3 beautiful kids.

God bless your little angel…
Lots of hugs to you from all of us in the virtual world. 🙂
God is indeed good for gifting you with your 8-month old baby boy. We’d love to read about your journey with him too. 🙂

This is really heartbreaking. But you’re right, at least you still got to see your baby. I didn’t get that chance when I had my miscarriage. As in blood and tissue na lang talaga yung nakita kong lumabas. 🙁