￼Rituals are often thought of as familiar ceremonies like baptisms, weddings, and funerals. But I like the idea that any act or symbolic behavior, when performed regularly, can be called a ritual.

Rituals can be as simple as walking the dog, making coffee, playing a game, or writing in a journal. You can share a ritual with others or alone, in a special place or out in the open. The point is you can choose something, anything and declare the time spent holy.

Rituals are not just abstract ideas or expressions; they affect your world.

Several years ago, I participated in a discussion course from Northwest Earth Institute with a group of women called Healthy Children Healthy Planet. We didn’t know each other. We were mothers who came from different backgrounds, religions, and ideologies. Some of us were working moms, others stayed at home. We were vegan, vegetarian, and omnivores. We acknowledged that we didn’t have all the answers, but we were willing to come together, open up, and listen. The weekly discussions enriched my life. And our conversations opened my eyes to new possibilities, especially when it came to rituals.

Incorporating rituals and celebrations into daily family life can be enriching.

I think families, especially, can get the simple acts in life that are the most important rituals to us. I learned from my group discussions that I could take the most mundane rite or task in my life and make it more meaningful just by giving it presence of mind. After reading several articles on family rituals and celebrations, I considered the acts I performed regularly. Writing and snuggling with James came easily to mind. When James was a toddler, he would awake around 7 a.m., stumble into my upstairs office where I had been writing since 5 a.m., and climb into my lap. Together we snuggled for several minutes. James expected me to be there every morning at my desk writing – and I was. Those precious moments became a ritual for us. The women in my group also shared their rituals, from game night, to telling stories in Spanish, and to having a “beast feast” (feeding the animals at Thanksgiving, instead of eating the animals).

“Anything can be a ritual if the family puts energy into making it meaningful. Ritual sanctifies time.” – Mary Pipher, author of “The Shelter of Each Other”

I realized that I had performed more rituals than I thought: having picnics in the family room with silly food, building a plastic animal zoo, chasing James around the house to catch and tickle him, and singing and dancing along to the “Bare Necessities” song from Disney’s “Jungle Book.”I tried a few new rituals at home such as lighting a candle at dinner and then blowing it out and sharing what we were thankful for. James liked the candle-at-dinner ritual because it reminded him of birthday parties – without the presents.

Happy rituals make us happy.

I learned that all the rituals the women in my group shared were simple, meaningful, and connective. Performing rituals seemed to bring us happiness, and many everyday rituals are surprisingly effective.
Now that he’s 12, James doesn’t climb into my lap anymore, but when he’s willing, we snuggle on the couch or big chair to read together, or watch a movie. And James still likes me to chase him around the house with my minion Beck to capture, tackle, and tickle him. It lets us unwind from our day, and makes us happy.

Which rituals work best?

It depends on you. Exploring a variety of rituals, and examining alternatives to elaborate celebrations and gifts can enrich a family’s experience. We can get happy by simply spending meaningful time with ourselves and our family.

What’s your ritual? Why do you need it? Why do you think it works? Thanks for reading. If you enjoyed this post, please share this story with others, or post a comment on Facebook.

For more than two decades, Kristine Bruneau has made a career from writing and marketing communications. Her commentaries, stories, and reviews have appeared in a variety of publications, including Rochester Magazine and Rochester Woman Magazine. She posts regularly to her Mommy Musings blog at kristinebruneau.com where she explores lessons learned from her son on motherhood, love, and life. Kris is currently working on a book inspired by these lessons and their resulting conundrums. She loves feedback, but hates spam – send her a comment.

Let’s hope that Mother Nature doesn’t fool us again! Although it’s quite possible we have 5 feet of snow in 3 days. But as long as the weathers nice, get outside with the family to enjoy it as much as possible!

Dust off the bikes and helmets, lace up the boots (slide on the Wellies) and hit the trails for some fun in the mud! Hey, you’re doing something together and washing machines were invented to get all that dirt out right?! Check out http://www.trails.com/activity.aspx?area=15097 for a map of bike trails around Rochester!

My parents just came back from a Garden Convention in Philadelphia so now’s the time to start planning that garden! Allowing kids of all ages to be involved in the process can be a great teaching tool. And something that will keep them busy! If they pick their favorite flowers or crops, they can help you plant/water/harvest them throughout the year! It not only teaches responsibility but educates them on the natural processes of plants and where their food comes from!

If you’re planting flowers, the same applies but kids can pick the flowers to give to teachers, grandparents, friends. Drying flowers is a great craft project and the possibilities are endless when the flowers are dried. Cards, collages, 3D frames all allow for creative engineering.

My parents have both a beautiful flower garden and garden that grows food. I love being able to pick fresh produce off the vine because it tastes so much better and I know where it came from (aka no crazy chemicals were applied and no fuel was used to ship it to a store).

I’m planting a “window box” outside my apartment with peppers, herbs, and cherry tomatoes (small space) but hopefully expanding to some land around our driveway! Check out these Window Farms for those of us without soil space (apartment dwellers)! So amazingly cool, I will buy one eventually!

Sustainability is our future! Are you doing anything as a family to reduce your carbon footprint or live more self sustainable? Please share!!

I may not physically be a Mother, but I’ve lived and experienced the “mom role” for a little over a decade (wow, that’s weird that I’ve done something for a decade…!). Any person that works with kids knows what it feels like to be needed, depended on, and looked up to every second they’re with a child or a group of children. The only difference is we get to say good-bye (with a tear in our eye, smile on our face, or sigh of relief) at the end of the day.

I’m lucky to have been blessed with the “kids-like-me” gene or the “I-can-tolerate tantrums-and-poopy-diapers” gene or the “I-have-loads-of-patience” gene. Whatever it may be, I have had the opportunity to work with so many amazing families and learn an incredible amount of priceless knowledge about kids, their behaviors, the way they think, how they play, etc! I’m telling you all this because in NO WAY do I assume that I know what a Mom feels or goes through day in and day out with their kid(s). I’m just putting it out there that… “I get it”.

With that being said, my blog is going to contain information for you; the extremely busy, smart, passionate, entertaining, awesomely fantastic, healthy woman you are or want to be. I’m an athlete, so I appreciate feedback, ideas, and requests of others, in hopes of working together for the health of ourselves and our families!

It’s amazing how fast our calendars fill up this time of year. School doesn’t end until next Tuesday, but summer already feels as though it’s passing by too quickly. My husband and I didn’t help things any when we had all three of our kids within five days of each other… at the beginning of summer.

Tyler, Lucy and Ella enjoying each others' company

Tyler will be turning seven at the end of June. Ella will be turning three on the same day. Despite my best efforts, little Lucy broke the trend and came on the 4th of July. Our little firecracker will be one this year. In addition to the birthdays, our 5th wedding anniversary is July 1. I’m out of breath just thinking about the festivities!

We’re heading to Ocean City to celebrate this year, just the five of us. In trying to plan a big birthday party for them, though, we had two choices… do it a couple weeks early or wait until the middle of August. So, this weekend we’ve got a few friends from school coming over to celebrate Tyler. Then we’ll celebrate all three kids with my side of the family. We’ll have another birthday party with my husband’s family on July 4th. At that point we can start saving for Christmas. Thankfully that holiday is spaced a perfect six months out, so we don’t need to take a second mortgage out on our home.

We’ve got camping trips planned for later this summer with our extended families. Then we’ve got swimming lessons, a fundraising benefit that I’m putting on for the Dream Factory in August, a baptism, gatherings at friends’ houses, my grandmother’s 90th birthday and hopefully a golf outing or two.

Enjoying a picnic in the front yard

The summer is jam-packed already, but full of fun. It’s ready for memories to be created and Kodak moments to be had. I won’t even think about all the scrapbooking I’ll have to fit in after it all. I’ll be lucky to have books of the kids through age five completed by the time our youngest graduates high school. That’s okay, though. Right now that’s not important. The family time and the fun… that’s the priority.

Before we know it, the kids are going to be off doing their own thing and not wanting to be with boring old Mom and Dad. I’ll take every precious minute we can get and cherish it all. I know I’m not alone in that. I’m sure everyone reading this has rattled off their summer list of fun by now. Our calendars may differ with events, but I’m willing to bet they’re just as busy.

So, however you’re spending your summer vacations, try to remember to live in the moment, so it doesn’t all pass you by too quickly. And if your kids are driving you crazy, just send them over to my house. I can watch them in my spare time.

Contributors

For more than two decades, Kristine Bruneau has made a career from writing and marketing communications, working for ad agencies, nonprofits, and small businesses. Her commentaries, stories, and reviews have appeared in a variety of publications, including Rochester Magazine and Rochester Woman Magazine. She posts regularly to her Mommy Musings blog at kristinebruneau.com where she explores lessons learned from her son on motherhood, love, and life. Kris is currently working on a book inspired by these lessons and their resulting conundrums. She loves comments and feedback, so send her a note at kristinebruneau@me.com.

is an award-winning communications professional with 25 years experience working in journalism and public relations and with social media. She is also a comedian and has learned that weaving humor into all situations makes communication and life more enjoyable for all involved. She is an adjunct college professor and recently started her own company, Dresden Public Relations, to enable her to be a more-present mom for her two young daughters. One is adopted, one has cerebral palsy, both are beautiful and extraordinary, and life at her house is a fabulous adventure.

Claire Goverts is a working mom to a curious toddler girl on the go. A Buffalo to Rochester transplant, Claire enjoys exploring more of the area, which suits toddler fine. The zoo is a current favorite. She enjoys trying new things with daughter, including crafting ‘new’ play items. Such as coffee can turned drum, container, and mirror. She also shares a love of nature and the outdoors with her daughter.

And in her spare time Claire enjoys creative pursuits. Be in drawing, photography, jewelry making, and of course writing. She would like to publish novels one day, and has several National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) wins under her belt.

Tree Marino is a 30-something mother of tween/teen daughters. She works full time, while her husband stays home with the girls. This was not always the case. When the girls were younger she was a stay-at-home mom (who rarely stayed at home). Tree works toward making her family more green without ruffling to many feathers (inside the family and out). You might find her planning a casual event for her daughters' school or running her small business.

is a busy single mom of two busy boys from Brockport - Brice, 7, and Brady Patrick, 4. A graduate of the University of Rochester, she writes freelance articles and The Brockport Blog for The Democrat and Chronicle. She is also a contributing writer to Rochester Woman Magazine and a former reporter for Messenger Post Newspapers. Caurie enjoys being a hockey mom, photography, swimming, and life guarding at the YMCA. Look to her Mom Blog for pieces on parenting a child with special needs and parenting as a single mom. You can reach her at www.caurie.com or caurie@urgrad.rochester.edu

Debra Ross is publisher of KidsOutAndAbout.com, an online resource for parents who want to know about the cultural, educational, and recreational opportunities for kids in their local area.

She is a weekly guest on two morning radio shows in Rochester, WARM 101.3 and Fickle 93.3 and also appears often on local television. She and her husband, David Ross, a professor at RIT, home school their daughters Madison, 13, and Ella, 11. They live in Brighton.