YOUR STAR WARS NAME: ( First 2 letters of your first name and the first 3 Letters from your last name makes your first name. Take the first 2 letters of your mother's maiden name and the first 3 letters of the city you were born in)AmBar Huevv (sounds weird)

Update on Internet Dating

Well, I've been back on my Internet Date Website for a week now. My friend, Anne, joined the exact same day, so we have been discussing it basically every day.

A few observations after our first week.

1. Men do not read nor do they comprehend well. This match is mostly multiple choice. Yet, they fill out the answers without reading it thoroughly. One guy Anne went on a date with already had selected several races that he preferred, no one of which were Caucasian (which he is too). He didn't even read his own profile to see what he had done. One 55 year old guy winked at me this week, yet if he read my profile would know that 45 is my highest limit. 45 years old is already over 13 years older than I am -- I don't think I can go any higher.

2. People can be funny in their profiles about themselves. One guy's title is smartandrich. Some other guy has a picture of himself in a bunny suit. I have to say it keeps things amusing.

3. Many men will read your profile without doing anything. So, it's hard to say what to do about them. Are they not interested because they think you wouldn't be interested? Or did they see something they don't care for. Anne and I have taken the former stance. We look at their profile, see how the matches line up. Unless there is a significant difference in what they want and who we are, we will wink at them. I figure that if I am okay with any significant problems with their profile, they might have been afraid to wink because of my answers. However, if they have a choice which shows a preference for something different from me and they didn't wink, I figure that means they aren't interested. At least I hope that is what is happening.

4. Men can be just plain rude. They don't use the basic courtesies built into Match. I figure if I am brave enough to wink at them, the least they could do is say they aren't interested. But, it seems to be too much for them. So what happens is that I feel like I put myself on the line and they are blowing me off. If this is what happens to guys, then I understand some of their frustration with dating.

5. People have different reasons and methods for using Match.Anne paid for a one month service, whereas I paid for 3 months. So, she is intent on meeting as many men as possible during this time. She's already been on three dates and has done over 25 e-mails. I've had 9 or 10 e-mails and talked to one guy on the phone about going out this weekend. So, it's interesting to see what's happening. We are looking for slightly different things. I am looking for the "one;" she's looking for "someone." So, our different methods make sense.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Internet Dating --- Here I go...Again!

Of course, I said after the last guy that I wasn't doing this anymore. I said no more Match.com. I've done it twice now, but of course I am not really meeting men otherwise. So, I joined again this week. So, what's the problem? I'll share my frustrations along with some of my friends who are either current or past internet daters.

1. Pictures - Why don't people put pictures on their sites? Yes, we need to know what you look like. If I feel no spark whatsoever from your photo, then I won't wink at you. Yet, it is not like I only wink at blonde, blue-eyed sun gods. I need to know if I feel a connection with you. You only have to be "hot" to me -- not to society. So what if you don't fit the stereotype? I like my men a little quirky and so do a lot of women. But, when you don't put a picture at all, then it says you are either very insecure (which is a turn off itself) or a pain in the ass (who will have to placated). Neither of these is a good first impression.

2. Filling Out the Blanks - It amazes me how guys put "Any" in so many categories. Are they too lazy to pick selections? Are they afraid to come off as snobbish or jerks? When you put "any," you are telling the world that you have no idea what you are looking for. If you put that you will date any woman between 3 feet 1 inch and 8 feet 11 inches, then you just appear lazy and/or stupid. Really you would go out with someone at either end of that spectrum? Really? I don't think so.

3. Not Reading My Profile Thoroughly - I spent a great deal of time writing my profile, being sure to be as explicit as possible about who I am and what I am looking for. I didn't make my choices lightly. So you are wasting my time if you wink at me without having examined my profile. Today some guy winked without even opening the profile (you can tell who has viewed your profile). And guess what, he has three teenage daughters (16-20). I distinctly said I was not interested in people who have children. It's not snobbish, it's accurate. I do not want to be a stepmother to someone 11 years younger than me.

4. Having a Vague Intro - So, you don't like multiple choice, well there is a place that allows you to explain who you are and what you are looking for in your own words. It's not hard. Match even gives you some assistance. For example, if we asked your best friend to describe you in three words or less, what would they say? Mine would say loyal, forthright, and funny. I put that in there. But, a few concrete items as well - my parents are still married. I want to get married. I am not looking to be "one of" but to be "the one." I am ready for a real romance -- are you? Some kind of information would help. Do you own your own home? Do you like to go to NASCAR? Whatever you like to do, a little word would be helpful.

The scary thing is some of these guys obviously have never had an introspective moment in their lives. How can they have nothing to say about themselves? Did they not learn anything from their past relationships? Is this asking too much?

Joy, Joy

Thomas is officially moving out at the end of this month - he found an apartment and picks up his keys this week. Thank God!! I can't wait to have my place to myself.

And for the first time since I bought this house three years ago, the second bedroom will not have an occupant. So, I can actually use it for what I want. It's going to be a guest/craft/wrapping/sewing room. I am excited!!!

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

The Past Month - A Lesson in Extremities for Me

Well, I'm finally back for awhile. So where have I have I been. I'll divide the past month into three segments, the good, the crazy and the bad.

TheGood

G Got to go the beach with two girlfriends. We rented a house, did some go-carting, hung out on the beach, drank a tub of margaritas (the tubarita, we called it), and just lazed around. IT was awesome.

O Outside in Phoenix at a conference, I spent most of my time. I had to teach 6 hours over a 4 day period. Besides that, I investigated the water park and the pool each day. I even have a bit of a tan to prove it.

O Ogled some shoes and clothes both at the beach and while visiting my parent. Picked up some great stuff including some fun beachy thong shoes with mirrors on them, a great Ann Taylor blouse, and a new suit jacket from Casual Corner. And at parents, I shopped with my aunt and mom - so my aunt payed for everything!

DDid get to meet the new niece, Katie. She's adorable. I saw her at about two weeks old and she was already lifting her head up and looking around. She's so sweet. Also, attended my niece's 7 year old birthday party. My parents hosted at their house, they even rented a moonbounce (only $100 for the day-can you believe that?). And the kids loved it!

The Crazy

CConsidered actually smacking my dad's mother. The woman (who is 5 foot, 4 inches max and weighs like 250 pounds) had the nerve to ask me if I was pregnant since I had "put on a few pounds." I just looked at her and told her she was mean and I didn't appreciate it. I didn't know 7 pounds was a sin.

RReally got mad at the same grandma when she suggested my 4 year old niece was heavy. She is not even close. I told her that my niece Dani is a fine, normal healthy size, not a ounce of extra fat on her. My mom at that point just said we had to leave.

A Actually, my sister and I rented a Chrysler Sebring convertible for my second trip to Indiana this month. It was fun, although not exactly appropriate since we were there for a funeral.

Z Zeroed in on 4 convertibles that I am considering for my new car. I am looking at the Chrysler Sebring convertible, the Toyota Solara Camry convertible, the mini-Cooper convertible, and the Volkswagen Bug convertible. I drove the bug and decided there is just not enough trunk space. I own a home, so the car must be able to hold my 3 bags of mulch/dirt practically every visit to Lowe's.

YYou know it's nuts when people start making jokes about whether you work Fridays anymore. I haven't worked a Friday in over 6 weeks and I am not working these next two either!

The Ugly

U Unfortunately, my 94-year-old great grandmother passed away. She had lived alone until a few weeks ago when she went into the hospital for a heart attack. I did get to see her a few days before and mentally she was all there, but she just couldn't physically carry on. While I do feel a certain sadness, I am not really that sad - she really wanted to go. She outlived two husbands, 1 child, 2 grandchildren, and 1 great grandchild. She's been saying that she would be ready whenever God needed her up there (she was very religious). So I am actually happy for her. But, I will miss her - she was a sharp lady and interesting to talk to.

G Granted I've been gone from work more than I planned this past month, but not that much. However, my team lead Nut has decided to continue making me crazy. We have a bi-monthly report due on the 7th of every odd month. It takes a lot of work to get it finished. So, I started it over two weeks ago. She was here three more days than me. Did she even make a dent? No. We have to review over 45 projects -- she looked at two. And of course, Monday the boss lady said she needs it ASAP. So, I busted ass -- skipped the gym Monday and Tuesday and worked overtime (unpaid) for an hour last night. Finally I got it finished and gave it to the boss. Nut stops by during her lunch (she's conveniently in class yesterday and today) and acts like she had no idea it was such a big deal. Then she sends me an e-mail saying she felt we needed to divide the work more. You're Kidding! I just rolled my eyes and didn't even reply. I am so tired of her excuses. She always acts like she is so busy whenever I'm not here. But, I don't know what the hell she does. God knows she's not helping with any of the paperwork!

L Likely to end up with a dead roommate (Thomas) soon. I came back from my parent's on a Tuesday and had to go back on the Wednesday for the funeral. So, I was home less than 24 hours and I was back on a plane. I was exhausted. I get back on Saturday and that jerk hadn't bought any canned food for my cat - he said he fed her from the emergency rations in the basement. They are extra cans from food we tried and she didn't care for. And it's for emergencies like hurricanes, not "I'm too lazy to take my ass to Target!"

Y You know how sometimes you just want to kill people, well my dad's mother is making her way up my list. I just found that she gave my grandfather's flag (the one she got at his military funeral) to her oldest son, who is not the biological child of my grandfather. My dad is his oldest biological son and the most like him in general. I can't believe she gave it to him.

So sorry I've been gone...I'm still catching up on everyone's blogs. I'll be better.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Quick Update - I know where have I been?

This month has been a bit nuts. I don't have a computer at home, so I can only blog at work and I have been extremely busy. I just have a few moments.

So, where have I been? On vacation last week. I went with two girlfriends to a beach house on the Atlantic Ocean. Really relaxing. I went go-carting which was fun. I also really enjoyed taking a trolley tour of all the Victorian homes in a nearby town. Mostly, I liked just being able to lay around and do not much. I read like 6 books - had to buy two more because I ran out. Below are two really good ones...

Two Books to Recommend:

The United States of Europe - Highly interesting look at how Europe and the EU are becoming a bigger superpower than the U.S. It's all about how we are reversing places in some ways and the U.S. government is really giving them their due respect. Check it out!

Freakanomics - Highly interesting book on how/why things are happening. Do you want to know one of the big reasons that violent crime has dropped? The book perpetuates a theory that it is wrapped up in the Roe v. Wade decision - maybe kids who are predisposed (either genetically or due to the home they would have) to be violent simply aren't being born. It's a wild read.

I'll put some more time in next week. I'm off today until Tuesday -- going to visit the folks.

Single 31-year-old, Washington DC area resident. Work for the government, but not a fan of Dubya. Interested in travel, my friends, and world events. Oldest of four. Own a small fixer upper, which is still being fixed up.