Week 125 : Ask Backward VI
Tinker to Evers to Packwood
One. Definitely Only One.
The world is my dumpster.
Mickey Mantle's liver
Three men and a crayfish
Apollo 178
Grant's Pants
Colon Powell
Very, very fat mice
[the symbol for Prince, divided by pi]
[Dolly from "Family Circus"]
The sweet smell of defeat
Here's a hint: It's yellow.
Fred and Ethel Van Beethoven
Sally Struthers and Homer, the blind poet
Because it wouldn't work the other way
This Week's Contest: You are on Jeopardy! These are your answers. What are the questions? First-prize winner gets an autographed copy of "Dave Barry Slept Here," his handsome, hardcover volume on American history, entirely in Japanese. Runners-up, as always, get the coveted Style Invitational losers' T-shirts. Honorable mentions get the mildly sought-after Style Invitational bumper stickers. Winners will be selected on the basis of humor and originality. Mail your entries to the Style Invitational, Week 125, The Washington Post, 1150 15th St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20071; fax them to 202-334-4312; or submit them via the Internet to this address: losers@access.digex.net. Internet users: Please indicate the appropriate Week Number in the "subject" field. Entries must be received on or before Monday, Aug. 14. Please include your address and phone number. Winners will be announced in three weeks. Editors reserve the right to alter entries for taste, appropriateness or humor. No purchase necessary. The Faerie of The Fine Print & The Ear No One Reads thanks Ken Krattenmaker of Landover Hills for today's Ear No One Reads. Employees of The Washington Post and their immediate families are not eligible for prizes.
Report from Week 122, in which you were asked to come up with a new plot development for "Peanuts."
But first, a brief logistical note. In the last three years, The Style Invitational has become something of a Washington institution, in the sense that St. Elizabeth's is something of a Washington institution. We have been getting increasingly disturbing mail from persons who are Fine Just Fine Just a Little Bit Upset Is All; they are alarmed at the prospect of the Invitational going on August sabbatical as we did last year. Relax. The Czar has enlisted the services of a trusted toady. She will run the next few contests with the same finely honed sense of humor that has made this contest into a cherished part of the lives of thousands of individuals with borderline personality disorders. And last, thanks to Harry J. Hewson of Dale City, who points out that "Bob Staake" is an anagram for "A B.O. Basket."
Second Runner-Up:
"MY EYES!!!" (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)
First Runner-Up:
Opus: "Seems like everyone in this strip is on vacation...
...I'm subbing for Snoopy, Daisy Mae's in for Lucy..."
Calvin: "Here's your dinner, herring breath!!"
Opus: "...Calvin for Charlie Brown..."
Calvin: "?!! kite!"
Calvin: "I didn't ask to be here! Look at this ridiculous T-shirt! Why do I have to wear it?"
Calvin: "I had big plans for this summer. Hobbes and I were going to do Othello in Boston. My name up in lights this big!!"
Daisy Mae: "Snoopy, have ya'll seen mah brother Linus?"
Opu: "N ma'am, Miz Lucy, I haven't."
Opus: "I don't know about you, but frankly I've been waiting for this for years."
(Story and artwork David Harr, Clifton and Ewa Skoczylas, Centreville)
And the Winner of this framed, signed Bob Staake fax art:
Charlie Brown: "Look! We've finally gotten teeth!"
Lucy: "Cartoon character usually don't have them."
Charlie Brown: "I wonder if they're real?"
Lucy: "This will really weird people out!"
Linus: "Maybe I can have fun like Calvin."
Snoopy: "Is it ... safe?"
(Sarah Worcester, Bowie)
Honorable mentions: Snoopy dies after heroically saving little April Patterson from drowning. (David Avagliano Treber, Silver Spring)
The "Peanuts" strip is the subject of a boycott by PETA when they determine that Snoopy's doghouse does not afford him adequate sleeping space and ventilation. (Dave Zarrow, Herndon)
Spike, the desert-dwelling dog, discovers peyote. (Glenn Conlon, Jennifer Garrison and Henry Kivett, Burlington N.C.)
Snoopy the Vulture eats some rotted meat and dies. (Kevin Cuddihy, Fairfax)
Charlie Brown appears in a charity baseball game featuring Cal Ripken Jr. and beans him, ending the streak. (Kevin Cuddihy, Fairfax)
After years of pining for her with unrequited love, Charlie Brown finally gets a letter from the cute redheaded girl. It is a restraining order. (Paul Styrene, Olney)
Lucy: "Not only are we being forced to go to camp again, but the driver seems to be in a big hurry."
Charlie Brown: "It just seems that way. You always go faster when you're going somewhere you don't want to go."
Linus: "Actually, I heard the bus driver say there's a bomb on the bus and he has to stay above 50."
Snoopy: JOE TERRORIST (Jon Frandsen, Takoma Park)
CAPTION: THE PROCTOLOGIST IS IN (Bill Moulden, Frederick)
Next Week: Why is Poop Funny?