Join the Mile High Club With GILF Sarah Palin!

Famous-for-not-being-a-gross-old-man Governor Sarah Palin is making good on promises to clean up Alaska’s notoriously corrupt politics, and you can help her noble efforts!

Ex-Gov Frank Murkowski bought a corporate jet on “state credit,” after Homeland Security refused to buy him a plane and the state legislature denied the funds — as a result, jihadists secretly took over Alaska, using websites. But now everyone’s safe again and Murkowski’s fat ass was kicked out of office, so Sarah’s selling the jet on eBay! We just made up the part about getting to join the Mile High Club with the former naked beauty queen.