CUPS stadium will from here on out be referred to ‘Dr. Pepper Stadium at CUPS confines‘, and we’ll all be wearing ‘Comcast’ patches on our left sleeves. The post-game show will no longer be referred to as ‘CUPS Tonight‘, but instead will be referred to as ‘CUPS Tonight, delivered by Dominos Pizza‘. Also, if you’ve got the chance, do your best to work Coors Light into any post-game interviews. I mean, it’s not vital, but with Coors Light being the official beer of CUPS, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to try and kick ’em a little bit of extra exposure when we can. Rick ‘Taco Bell’ McNamara OUT.

My favorite rallying cry for the last several years at work has been ‘well, whatever, I know it’s frustrating/difficult/confusing, but it’s comforting if you think about just how useless this whole project/issue is, and that someday we’re all going to die and none of this will matter’. For a while I thought that my co-workers thought this was funny, so I kept saying it. More recently, though, I have come realize that people probably don’t see this as humorous, but I keep saying it anyway, because now I think that I believe this viewpoint on life to be true.

Skyping someone from the bathroom when you’re hungover is just the most obnoxious sort of call you could ever make. I’ve simultaneously been pooping while on the phone a solid forty times in my life, but this whole thing that Rita’s doing is just straight up rude as hell.

Not pictured: Whatever Rick’s been doing for the last several hours. Like, here it is, 8:15 in the morning, and it sounds like his day is up, moving, and already having unique characteristics. Did he not go to sleep? Is he one of those insufferable people who never get hungover? Did he maybe get up, boot, rally, hit up the McDonalds and is just now finishing up a small Madden session before attempting to make contact with the real world? Alas, this is something that will probably never have an answer, unfortunately, because I don’t feel like delving deeper into that portion of the storyline. Sorry, guys. Sometimes you just gotta let the background stay a little bit blurry to make the foreground stand out.