Victoria: Those big romantic moments... they're great when they happen, but they're not real.Ted: Exactly. Exactly! Like, like just now, when I saw you doing the chicken dance out there, I'm not gonna lie to you, big time thunderbolt.Victoria: Hmmm, you should see me tap-dance. You'd be down on bended knee.Ted: Sadly, not out of character

Ted: Listen I'm calling because last night I met this girl, and I was wondering if you had...Claudia: Oh you have got to be freaking kidding me!Stuart: Oh here we go...Claudia: Twenty-four hours ago you were begging...begging me to bring some other girl to my wedding and now, what, you're over her?Ted: I've moved on