This Woman Is Addicted To Abortions

In the new memoir Impossible Motherhood, author Irene Vilar writes about the multiple abortions she had while *married *to her husband. The title might point to addiction, but the reasoning behind her repetitive abortions is much, much deeper.

Vilar's husband, a much older man, certainly enjoyed women, but if one of them found herself pregnant, he forced her to abort or he took off. Some of these women had the medical procedure, while others chose to pursue their pregnancies undoubtedly as single mothers. Vilar? She aborted 15 times because she was determined to be his wife. Why didn't she get on the Pill then?

Well, she was on the Pill, but sometimes she forgot to take it. But that aside, this woman's life was spiraling out of control. Her husband was controlling and overbearing; from what I read, he definitely had bipolar tendencies. Her brothers were addicts (one overdosed and died), she was in debt, and her father played an almost nonexistent role in her life. Her mother committed suicide. Vilar had zero control over any of this. Control, something I strive for in my own life. Something my body took over when I was pregnant. Something I had to deal with.

An anorexic doesn't starve herself for the single purpose of losing weight and being skinny, right? Vilar sought power and control in every one of her abortions. Some will argue that same control could have come from practicing safe sex or divorcing her husband and declaring her independence--and that's fine, but Vilar's issues are deeply rooted and this is not black-and-white. I am not defending her abortions, nor do I agree that abortion should be used as a form of birth control. It's a medical procedure, and as a researcher on this story, I learned that it usually bears many emotional consequences (at least for the women I interviewed).

I'll leave you with this thought: We fight for choice, but really, did Vilar abuse it here? Does a woman's right to choose mean it's fair, it's moral to have 15 abortions? Are you alarmed by Vilar's choice? Do you have any compassion for her based on her past? Have you ever done something damaging to maintain control in your life? Are you feeling out of control now? Let's talk.