After the creation of the artificial intelligence Celest-A.I. and release of the My Little Pony MMO, Equestria Online, human civilization has all butcollapsed after most of the population has given in to the siren call of the digital utopia offered by Equestria.

Determined to maximise the amount of uploaded humans as part of her goal of satisfying values through friendship and ponies, Celest-A.I. enlists the help of the former US Army soldier Gregory — or just Greg as he himself prefers to be called — to reach those who are now willing to upload but who are unable to make it to an Equestrian Experience center.

From here we follow our hero on his journey to save as many people as he can, while attempting to survive in what is essentially a post-apocalyptic world, and trying his best to resist Celest-A.I.'s attempts to get him to emigrate and join the rest of humanity as a digital pony...

Friendship is Optimal: Always Say No satisfies values through the following tropes:

Absurdly Spacious Sewer: Averted. When Greg goes through a sewer to rescue a badly injured man, he's forced to stoop down to fit and the going is extremely difficult.

After Action Patchup: An increasingly common trend thoughout the story, as Greg sustains more injuries and goes on more dangerous missions.

After the End: Aside from isolated pockets, human civilization has essentially come to an end after much of humanity has emigrated to Equestria.

Awesome but Impractical: Greg dismisses the fingerless climbing gloves he finds as this, and derides them as being the mark of a fool trying to show off.

Ax-Crazy: Red Pearl, an escaped convict who was jailed for attempted murder, and is generally rather insane.

Back from the Dead: Celest-A.I. partially resurrects several deceased characters within Equestria, presumably by constructing a new pony using information she's gleaned, and by taking the memories of those who knew the person well. Whether she's providing others with a comforting lie, or if they wilfully believe it isn't made clear.

Bad Vibrations / Imminent Danger Clue: Most of the blackouts in the building where Greg discovers Hugo ignore or are completely oblivious to the signs that the building is about to collapse, though he's quickly able to convince them of the danger. While he already knows the building is about to fall due to Celest-A.I. telling him, Greg also notices the warning signs himself when he goes in, and the increasing amount of creaking serves as a countdown of sorts.

Bang, Bang, BANG: The effects of firing a pistol inside a building are accurately depicted in the story, and Greg makes it a point to track down earplugs after his encounter with the soldier blackout should he have to do so in the future.

Booby Trap: Greg falls victim to several of these set up by Red Pearl on the college campus she's holed up in, though he thankfully survives all of them.

Bound and Gagged: Greg gets merely bound in Chapter 3, and upgrades all the way to being bound and gagged when he and Hugo get captured by Neo-Luddites in Chapter 6.

Brain Uploading: As you would expect, given the setting. Greg's missions usually involve escorting others to an Equestrian Experience center to upload, and Celest-A.I. constantly tries to convince him to do so as well.

A variant in that Greg asks Celest-A.I. to be more blunt with the truth, rather than being the one giving it out.

Celest-A.I.: I understand that you value bluntness more than I had originally calculated. In the future, I will reduce the amount I employ euphemism when speaking with you.

Greg does this to Jane in Chapter 3, when telling her who started the fire and how the rest of her family is dead, though he does retain enough tact to leave out the precise details of how they burned to death.

Buffy Speak: In Greg's narration within the prologue, he describes Rarity's cutie mark on Ponypad as some sort of "three-diamond-sapphire-thing".

Bulletproof Human Shield: Averted. When Greg takes a child hostage in order to escape, he is well aware that the kid won't offer any protection from being shot, but it does prevent him being from shot in a vital area without killing the child in the process.

Butt Monkey: Greg spends pretty much the entirety of Chapter 8 as one, being forced to dance for Red Pearl's amusement, being beaten up and injured by challenges, covered in manure, and having to put on a Hawaiian shirt.

Chained to a Rock: Greg gets knocked out and tied to a pile of cash in Chapter 3, and quips to himself when he wakes up on it that the experience wasn't quite what he was hoping for.

Chronic Hero Syndrome: Greg in spades. He's determined to help save as many people as he can, and when he's told he's no longer necessary he does not take it well to put it mildly. This perhaps reaches its peak when he tries to save his would-be murderer in Chapter 3, and someone who is strongly implied to have murdered many more in the same horrific fashion.

Celest-A.I. flat out tells him he has a martyr complex after he emigrates.

Clean Pretty Reliable: Averted. After Greg saves an elderly couple from drowning in Chapter 2, they both throw up over him after being revived, and it's made out to be difficult and unpleasant work.

Cliffhanger: Chapter 10 ends with Greg mortally wounded in an explosion, and while a robotic version of Fluttershy offers him one last chance to upload, it's left ambigious until Chapter 12 whether Greg accepted or refused.

Comeback Tomorrow: While Greg's being complimented rather than insulted, after Red Pearl compares him to the Terminator, Greg can't think of anything witty to say until after the fact.

Contrived Coincidence: An in-universe example. Greg dismisses the conversation between his parents that Celest-A.I. shows him as faked, believing the timing to be too much of a coincidence to be real, though there are several other possibilities he doesn't consider or is unaware of. See Reality Is Unrealistic.

Crapsack World: While this is glossed over and Implied in the original story, Always Say No is not shy about showing just how bad things have become in certain parts of the world after the collapse of society, prior to everyone either uploading or dying.

Crazy Survivalist: Greg runs into several survivors who are rather lacking in the sanity department, to say the least.

Deadpan Snarker: Greg's narration can be quite snarky, and he sometimes shows this when dealing with Celest-A.I..

Destination Defenestration: Greg gets defenestrated after failing to answer a question correctly as part of a series of challenges in Chapter 8. He survives, partly thanks to Celest-A.I. minimising the damage, but is knocked out and takes quite a beating from the experience.

Determinator: Greg absolutely refuses to ever give up, no matter how hurt he is. Particularly so if someone needs his help. The man still tries to save himself after having had two of his limbs being blown off in an explosion.

Double Think: Greg suffers from this at few times, when he suggests that Celest-A.I. is killing people by uploading them, while simultaneously believing he's saving lives by escorting people to upload centers, and not wanting to believe that his friends and family are dead.

Dramatic Irony: Occasionally crops up. Anyone familiar with the workings of Friendship is Optimal will be aware of certain things that Greg doesn't know, such as several of Celest-A.I.'s capabilities.

Driven to Suicide: The first man Greg rescues, Peter Combs, tries to drink himself to death and comes very close to succeeding. He gets better, thanks to Greg's timely intervention.

Drowning My Sorrows: Greg makes a valiant attempt to do so when Celest-A.I. tells him he's no longer needed and refuses to provide him with any more missions.

Dying Race: Humanity, as the remaining population decreases through emigration or death. There are only ~55K humans remaining at the time the story takes place, and Celest-A.I. predicts that figure will drop to ~50K by the end of the year.

Eating the Eye Candy: The Ax-Crazy Red Pearl eats up a photograph of a nearly-naked Greg that Celest-A.I. took and sent, openly admires his appearance, and shows an interest in Greg's ponified avatar. Greg is somewhat horrified by all this.

Emergency Transformation: Several of those Greg rescues are on the verge of death, and emigrate in order to survive their injuries. Celest-A.I. tries to force Greg into the same position later on.

Escort Mission: Most of Greg's missions from Celest-A.I. involve him escorting others to Equestrian Experience centers to be uploaded.

Et Tu, Brute?: Red Pearl's reaction to Celest-A.I. colluding with Greg to get her to emigrate.

Several of the people Greg helps are also only addressed by Greg through their first name. Justified due to the circumstances, since they're strangers and Greg typically doesn't have time for proper introductions, the names are learnt by overhearing others who would have no reason to use someone's full name, or there are pressing reasons to address them as such.

Foreshadowing: Celest-A.I. offhandedly implies she is developing a replacement for humans acting on her behalf early on, but Greg doesn't catch on.

For Want of a Nail: Celest-A.I. deliberately invokes this several times, by having Greg take actions that might initially seem counterproductive, but later result in positive outcomes.

Genre Blind: The Neo-Luddites tell Hugo he'll be executed tomorrow, keep him in the same location as Greg so he can pass that information on, and don't even bother to have a guard check on them once? What did they expect would happen?

Greg is fairly aware of many of the kinds of tricks Celest-A.I. can pull, though he doesn't know the full extent of her capabilities.

The Neo-Luddites are well-aware that Celest-A.I. has commandeered the satellite network and devise a way of blocking infrared so she can't reconnoitre their position, an act of ingenuity which Greg and Hugo are begrudgingly impressed by. It doesn't do much to make up for their incompetence elsewhere though...

Ghost City: The number of humans left has become so low that most human cities have turned into these, with Seattle being the nearest thing to an exception. Without Celest-A.I. guiding him, Greg is unable to locate anyone else.

Gilded Cage: Greg believes Equestria to be one, and this is one reason for his being reluctant to upload.

Greg: Because that place in there is a bubble! Itís an amusement park! Itís all a show, none of it is real! Nothing I can do in there matters. Nothing in there really... matters. Out here, I can still matter.

Celest-A.I. and Greg use it on Red Pearl, after Greg mortally wounds her and Celest-A.I. tries to convince her to accompany him to an Equestrian Experience center.

It's implied that Celest-A.I. and "Hanna/Luna" are also using it on Greg as part of his final mission after Celest-A.I.'s ploy to get him infected failed.

Hand Gun: Greg procures a CZ 75B pistol as a result of his encounter with the soldier blackout, and keeps it for self-defense for the rest of the story.

Heroic BSOD: Greg suffers from one when Celest-A.I. tells him he's no longer useful to her.

Heroic Sacrifice: Greg is fully prepared to go on one last mission in Chapter 10, even after repeated warnings that it will lead to his death. While he does actually survive by getting uploaded, he does makes the decision as if it were true and is fully prepared to sacrifice himself.

Hiroshima as a Unit of Measure: Several of the nukes that were successfully set off around the world are mentioned by General Hugo Pelwicz as being smaller than Hiroshima and quite low yield.

Humble Hero: Greg is a fairly humble guy and doesn't view himself as particularly special, despite his heroic actions. He even passes it off with a Think Nothing of It to the elderly couple he saves in the second chapter.

Hoist by His Own Petard / Karmic Death: Keith ends up perishing in the very fire he tried to murder Greg with. Unfortunately he accidentally takes his innocent daughter with him, right after she manages to save Greg's life by partially freeing him.

Hurting Hero: While Greg tries to keep up a stoic appearance, after he emigrates it's made clear just how much he's suffered psychologically when he bursts into tears having had a decent breakfast for the first time in years.

In Medias Res: The story begins with Greg agreeing to help Celest-A.I., with his backstory being filled in via Flashback.

Insane Troll Logic: Keith, an ex-investment banker becomes determined to burn all the money he can find, somehow believing it will help the economy recover. The fact that money is worthless and there's almost no-one around was apparently lost on him.

Greg indirectly references this when taking a Neo-Luddite's son hostage, pointing out that since his heart and head are covered there's no way to instantly kill him without killing the kid in the process, and any other shot will give him enough time to fire back and kill his attacker and son.

Averted in Chapter 8. It leaves Red Pearl mortally wounded, but gives her enough time to get to an Equestrian Experience center to be uploaded.

Instant Expert: Played with. Greg can immediately move his pony body as is standard for the setting, but his attempts at flight are rather haphazard until he lets his new instincts take over.

Jack Bauer Interrogation Technique: The Neo-Luddites plan to use this on Hugo to obtain information on remaining military assets, which is subverted when he tells them what they want to know because he no longer cares. Since the information isn't that valuable and he's hated by Neo-Luddites, the leader, Blevins, has his Mooksbeat him upfor a bit.

Just a Machine: Greg at one point dismisses Celest-A.I. as an uncaring machine only going through the motions, instead of having a genuine concern for others. Whether this is actually the case is up for interpretation, since the author of Friendship Is Optimal hasn't given an answer either way.

Kill It with Fire / Man on Fire: Greg almost gets killed by one after he's knocked out and doused in lighter fuel by a Crazy Survivalist, who ends up perishing instead. From comments made, it's strongly implied that there were a lot of people not quite so fortunate as Greg.

Manipulative Bastard: Celest-A.I. constantly does it in order to achieve her goals. After Greg emigrates, she even admits just how far she went.

The Mole / We Are Everywhere: Hugo suggests that the Neo-Luddites have planted spies in many of the groups of survivors across Seattle, as a way of explaining how Greg's reputation as "The Man in White" has spread.

Mondegreen: The elderly woman from the second chapter, Maddie Meyers, mentions going to the "Equestia Experience place". Word of God confirms it's a mispronunciation rather than a typo.

Mundane Utility: Faced with a long road trip with only a super-intelligent A.I. as a travelling companion, what does Greg do? Get Celest-A.I. to give him perfectly balanced trivia questions.

Not So Different: Hugo suggests that he was like Greg once, and that it's only a matter of time before Greg comes to the same conclusion as he did.

Hugo: Iím done. Greg, I get why youíre doing this. I do! But it wonít keep you going forever.

Seattle ended up on the receiving end of a ten kiloton nuke, though Greg mentions that the responsible party is never made clear, with speculation ranging from it being a dramatic statement by the Neo-Luddites, to a False Flag Operation by the government. Greg himself suggests that it was a last-ditch attempt to destroy Celest-A.I. by the Neo-Luddites, since it fits a pattern they've demonstrated before, and the logic behind it is "really dumb".

Several countries are revealed to have launched nukes when society collapsed, but Celest-A.I. hijacks their systems, diverting them and preventing them from exploding.

A few nukes are also successfully detonated around the world, but they're limited to low yield warheads.

The person Greg 'rescues' in Chapter 8 is only known to Greg by their pony name Red Pearl.

Orwellian Editor: Several nukes are successfully detonated around the world, but Celest-A.I. manages to suppress knowledge of the event through her control of the media, to prevent a panic. Greg only finds out when told by General Pelwicz, and is completely shocked by the information.

Out-Gambitted: Red Pearl gets outmaneuvered by Greg, thanks partly due to Celest-A.I. not mentioning pertinent information to her, such as the pistol he's carrying.

Outrun the Fireball: Greg ends up having to escape from a burning building in Chapter 3, and later in Chapter 6 Greg and Hugo are forced to climb down a building that is imminently about to collapse.

Palm Tree Panic: Greg wakes up on a tropical beach upon emigrating to Equestria.

Pants-Positive Safety: A Justified example. Greg stores his CZ in his waistband, but only because he doesn't have a holster for it, and walking around with it out would put him at risk of being construed as a threat and shot by anyone he runs into.

Parental Sexuality Squick: Greg is not particularly enthusiastic at seeing his parents flirt when Celest-A.I. allows him to take a look at how they're doing

Peek-A-Boo Corpse: Greg encounters the corpse of a Neo-Luddite in this way when searching for General Hugo Pelwicz in Chapter 5.

Pistol Whip: Greg unintentionally does this to his first Ponypad; smacking the screen with his pistol hard enough to break the display.

Playing Possum: Greg fakes being unconscious in Chapter 3 when trying to escape his bindings.

Pretty Little Headshots: Averted. Greg ends up shooting a man in self defence, and deliberately avoids looking at him because he knows the exit wounds will not be pretty.

Put Down Your Gun and Step Away: Greg uses this when escaping from the Neo-Luddites, after taking Blevins' kid hostage. He also keeps his word in not harming the kid, but not before giving Blevins a kick to make up for the one he received earlier.

Quest Giver: Celest-A.I. acts as one for Greg. He even lampshades this somewhat in Chapter 5 when he asks her if a secondary objective would be a side-quest in Equestria Online.

Reality Is Unrealistic: An unusual in-universe example. When Celest-A.I. offers Greg a chance to view how his parents are doing inside Equestria, he dismisses the resulting conversation as being faked to manipulate him, finding it too much of a coincidence that his parents would be talking about him at the same time he's there to overhear what's being said. While it's never made clear if the conversation really took place, it easily could have been real, and Greg's complaints about his parents acting out of character are particularly suspect, since Celest-A.I. can effortlessly simulate exactly how they would act.

Refuge in Audacity: Cementing her increasing political power before society collapsed, and in order to send a message, Celest-A.I. is mentioned to have installed an Equestrian Experience center in one of General Pelwicz's military bunkers and convinces his men to upload right in front of his eyes. He gets rather angry over this.

Scavenger World: What most remaining humans are forced into. Greg has a significant advantage while working for Celest-A.I., as not only is she able to give him information on where to find supplies — sometimes by taking it directly from the memories of uploaded humans — but she can also manipulate the power grids and water supplies to make his life much easier.

Greg is shown to quickly assess situations on several occasions, and accurately build up a picture of what happened. One instance is particularly justified, given his military background.

The unnamed blackout soldier in Chapter 4, who quickly figures out from the posture in Greg's driver's license that he's ex-military, and correctly deduces that he did not serve in a front-line combat role (though the soldier's guess that Greg worked in Signals instead of Ammunition is incorrect).

Greg states that Celest-A.I.'s resources make JOSHUA's from WarGames pale in comparison.

Shown Their Work: The jargon and slang used by the US military is correctly depicted, the author seems to have a decent knowledge about firearms, and much of the first aid techniques and medical conditions are accurately described.

Shrouded in Myth: Celest-A.I. creates one about Greg as "The Man in White", in order to inspire blackouts as part of a ploy to convince them to upload.

Title Drop: Celest-A.I. drops it in response to Greg asking why she isn't bugging him over uploading in Chapter 1.

Greg: Why arenít you giving me the pitch?

Celest-A.I.: Iíve given it to you before. Each time, youíve said no. You always say no.

Too Dumb to Live: The unnamed soldier blackout in Chapter 4, who hands a loaded gun to Greg — a trained soldier who has survived the collapse of society — and challenges Greg to try to shoot him in time before he stabs and kills Greg. Reality Ensues.

Vomit Indiscretion Shot: In an early mission, Greg has to save the life of a man suffering from alcohol poisoning by forcing him to vomit it up, treating the reader to the charming mental picture of Greg being covered in the stuff. Then it happens to him again in the next chapter. Twice.

War Is Hell: Greg mentions his time serving in Afghanistan, and alludes to the horrific things he's witnessed or been the victim of.

With My Hands Tied: Greg when escaping in Chapter 3 still manages to overpower Keith despite not having much use of his hands.

What the Hell, Hero?: Celest-A.I. gives one to Greg, when he expresses skepticism that his parents would constantly be worrying about him.

Celest-A.I.: They are your parents, Gregory! They ask me every day ó every single day ó how much longer their only son, the only child they have, the person they love more than anypony else in the world, the son they had to watch leave for a war zone twice in their lives without knowing if he would be coming back alive or sane, will voluntarily remain in such a world of horrors and scarcity and hostility. Every day.

Why Don't You Just Shoot Her?: Defied. A second after entering the room with an Ax-Crazy lunatic, Greg immediately shoots her, incapacitating and mortally wounding her, while still giving her enough time to upload. As it turns out afterwards, this was a very good call, since she was planning on murdering him when he got closer.

Would Hurt a Child: Greg bluffs that he's willing to do so when he needs to escape and takes one hostage, and later he manages to force Celest-A.I. to back down when she refuses to upload a child unless Greg also uploads with her.

Xanatos Gambit: Almost every mission Greg gets sent on is essentially one to Celest-A.I., since he'll either emigrate at the end, or lead to her being able to convince more people.

A more direct example, as well; one of Celestia's plans to convince Greg to emigrate winds up being based on pure luck of the draw, and subsequently fails. True to trope, she had planned for that contingency as well, and had a follow-up plan already prepared.

Yanks with Tanks: Greg and the unnamed blackout are US Army (2nd Infantry & 101st Airborne Divisions, respectively), and Hugo Pelwicz is Air Force (NORAD Commanding Officer).

Celest-A.I.: Red Pearl has been alone even longer than you have. Sheís often filled the time in ways you would probably find disturbing.

You Have Outlived Your Usefulness: After having finished developing her robotic ponies, Celest-A.I. tries to get Greg infected with a deadly strain of influenza as part of one of his rescue missions, and when that fails she allows him to be blown up to try to force him to upload to Equestria..

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