Today is the second birthday of 360 Degree Self! While I first created this blog on Blogger back in November of 2006, my first post wasn’t until more than a year later on February 17, 2008 when I wrote about the tragic Valentine’s Day murders at my old school, Northern Illinois University.

Like any two year-old, I’m still learning to walk and getting acclimated to blogging. I also look at blogging much the way a two year-old approaches the world: with beginner’s mind. Sure, I bring a lifetime of experiences, but I try to write with an open-minded approach.

When I started my blog, I wasn’t sure what to expect. While I didn’t really have many specific goals, I did have visions of lots of subscribers, tons of traffic and perhaps an opportunity to make money. I figured “this blogging thing” couldn’t be too hard. Ha ha, I was wrong! My early intention was to write some sort of personal development/self-improvement/life hack/marketing type blog, but I never wanted to come off here as preachy or as some sort of expert.

I will continue to focus on topics that contribute to well-rounded living…hopefully in an entertaining and informative manner.

What I do know is this: I have met some incredible people through my blog and even met some friends. This absolutely blows me away. I am amazed at all of the connections I have made not only here, but on other blogs. I want to thank you for coming here, contributing and being a part of this little “community.”

When we last left off, Maria Scileppi was describing some of the most notable friends that she met while working on her Peoplescape project, a year-long social experiment. The project culminated in an exhibition at an art gallery last June. To read the first part of this series, see part one.

Who were some of the most memorable friends that you met while working on the project?

I met Kelly, my July 9th, at a strip club. A friend of mine tested me and said I should meet someone at a strip club. We walked into the all nude club and were immediately approached by several women. I was trying to sniff out the friendly-will-talk-to-us-for-awhile vibe. Finally Star, a girl-next-door type, came up to us and sat on my friend’s lap. We talked for a while and I remember being really blown away by how normal she was. She did not seem like a stripper, hard and jaded. She had only been dancing for 6 months and talked about the shadiness that goes on between strip club and employees. She also drives a Cadillac and lives in Wilmette. That image cracks me up. Anyway, we talked for a good 40 minutes and she opened up about her life. I was surprised she spent so much time with us, considering she wasn’t making any money. Towards the end I felt a little unsure what to do. Now that I knew her would it be weird to get a lap dance? But is it worse to not give her any money since she spent so much time with us? She gave me a lap dance and I gave her $20 and a hug.

I met Charles, my July 29th, on the streets of Old Town. It was a Sunday, the hardest day to make friends and I had been trying all day. I was in public spaces hoping to make a friend. I never force it. It was now 10pm and I had just turned to a friend not sure what to do next when Charles came up to me and asked for $15 so he could stay at a halfway house. I thanked the Universe for delivering Charles to me. I asked him to join me for a drink and to tell me his story. He had just gotten out of jail that Thursday. He was convicted of murdering his uncle because his uncle molested his child. He had been in for 11 years and had never been on the internet! He recited some beautiful poetry he’d written while locked up. I gave him my business card which he promptly put into his bible. I realized afterward, that I had just given my business card to a murderer. I was quite embarrassing to tell my boss the next day but I haven’t seen Charles since.

I met Dusica, my August 5th, on Craigslist. I was looking for someone to play tennis with. I answered her post and we met at Oz Park. Turns out she’s really good at tennis and I’m not. We hit the ball around and she told me her story. She is from Serbia but went to high school and college here. She was also planning on opening a crepe shop. After our tennis game she took me to the future home of her crepe place. We decided to go to another crepe place in the neighborhood to do some recon. We met several times to play tennis or to see blues music. She has since opened her “Couture Crepe Cafe” and it is doing well.

I met Bridget, my August 9th, at a Media Bistro networking event. I was fascinated by her career and had a million questions. We became good friends and started hanging out several nights a week. I introduced her to my “October 20th” and they just got married last week in Paris. He is Parisian and they now live in France.

Do you continue to correspond or talk with some of the friends you met on the project?

Yes! I have about 30 people from the project in my phone. I have several that are very good friends and I run into people in my project about 70% of the time I go out. I went to a party this past Saturday and saw 3 people from my project. One guy, my April 18th, is from Australia but I met him in Barcelona. He was on his way to Dubai and I to Paris but we spent a few hours at a pub. We stayed connected through irregular IM chats. He was visiting the states for the first time and passing through Chicago. He asked about hostels but I offered my couch to him. I only knew him for about 5 hours, two years ago and now he’s sleeping on my couch! I do feel a bond with people in my project no matter how fleeting the moment was.

Did the Peoplescape project exceed your expectations?

Hell yeah it did! I had no idea how many people cared about the concept. Pretty much everyone I tell is fascinated and has many questions for me. It has also gotten other people to take on projects of their own, many have taken on 365 day projects. I also learned a lot about myself, I had no idea I had this in me.

What are some of the things you’ve learned as a result of this project?

It has changed my life and it will never be the same. I have created a rich world around me through the people I connect with. The project also taught me to dream big, sounds corny but I never believed I could do anything I set my mind to, until I tried. The project also helped me realize that I have something powerful to offer the world. I don’t have to live a cookie cutter life like so many other people. I can leave my mark on the world and make the world a better place in my own way by encouraging and promoting friendship and connecting with others.

Would you consider doing this again?

No. Absolutely I could not do it again. It was the perfect time to do it because I had just moved to a new city and had no friends. I had nothing else to do with my time. I also was naive (which I think is a great weapon) about just how much it would require.

For anyone reading, do you have any recommendations about how to meet more friends?

Yes. Most of the time people came up to me and started conversations. I think it was because of my body language. An “open” posture draws people in and lets them know it’s okay to approach you. Show up to life. I said yes to pretty much everything I was invited to. I used Meetup.com and lot and heard about things going from Craigslist, Going.com and Time Out magazine.

Is there anything more you want to say to anyone who wants to learn more about your project?

Once again, I’d like to thank Maria Scileppi for taking the time to tell her story. She has inspired me to get out there a little bit more and has reminded me that I need to work harder at maintaining my existing friendships. The fact that two friends she met on this project have since been married also reminds me how interconnected we really are.

How about you…other than the internet or other social media tools, where do you go to meet new friends?

Let’s face it, these days through social media tools such as Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter, we can meet friends, followers, and contacts in a matter of seconds. How many of these “friends” and “contacts” do we really feel a sense of connection with?

About a month ago, I wrote a post about a Pecha Kucha event I attended. In it, I mentioned that I was blown away by the final speaker of the night. Not only did she blow me away with her amazing delivery…after all she practiced about 60 hours on the six minute, 40 second presentation…and it showed! But she also blew me away with a brilliant project she participated in. It was a social experiment, called Peoplescape, where she met and befriended one person a day for a year. Her name is Maria Scileppi and I feel honored to share her story with you here.

I feel a deep sense of admiration for Maria because she took the time and energy to get to know the people in her project a little bit deeper. I also feel fortunate that I had the opportunity to meet Maria in person and talk with her more about her Peoplescape project…

Why did you decide to do the Peoplescape project?

I had just moved to Chicago and was starting fresh in every way- new city, new career and I didn’t really know anyone. Even though I’m from Chicago it had been eight years since I lived here. I also remember the moment I fell in love with the city and wanted Chicago to embrace me. I knew the only way for this to happen was if I embraced Chicago through its people.

Please describe the interactions: did you have a minimum amount of time that you spent with your new friends?

I had three simple rules for this experiment: It had to be a significant social exchange, I had to hold off as long as possible before revealing my project and asking them to be in it, and I couldn’t go home until I had made a friend. Sometimes I felt a connection with someone after 30 minutes, other times it took many hours. There were times it would take several hours just to start a conversation with someone. I never based the friendship on time, but rather through feeling the connection.

How did you document this project?

Once I asked someone to be my “person for the day” I would take their picture and jot down a few notes. I also documented their name, email, occupation and the answer to the question, “Why are you here?” which they could answer on any level, i.e. literally, figuratively, metaphysically. That night I’d go home and write up the story of our encounter. The material was showcased in Peoplescape – the exhibition on June 13, 2009 and the Pecha Kucha presentation. Currently, I am working on other forms of expression for Peoplescape, the concept.

Please describe more about the Peoplescape exhibition that took place last June. Where did it take place? Did all of the friends you meet become friends, too?

The first (and only at this point) happening took place on June 13, 2009 at Flatfile gallery. It was definitely not the typical staid art show. The cost of entry into the event was answering the question, “What have you done that no one else in the room has done?” When they turned this in they received someone else’s answer. Their mission: find the person who’s answer they have. Many people found their person but even if they didn’t, they now had a reason to walk up to any of the 350 people at the event and start a conversation. The answers were amazing and all over the map. I cried I was laughing so hard at ones I was able to hold onto afterward (see Happening card below) 88 of the 412 people (sometimes I documented more than one person in a day) in the project came to the opening.

Describe the pressure you felt in trying to meet one friend per day.

I didn’t realize how much pressure I felt each day until I had met someone for the day and felt the weight lift from my shoulders. It was always scary because meeting someone wasn’t something I could rely on myself for it required someone to say yes to me, which was out of my control.

Who were some of the most memorable friends that you met?

Brett, my January 20th, was a distraught honorably discharged Iraqi vet. I was at a Starbucks to meet a blind date. Brett was sitting next to us and it was obvious he needed a friend STAT. I shifted my focus to him and listened to his story. My date left and I continued to listen and console Brett. He’d just come back, his stuff hadn’t even arrived yet. The military was his life and his identity and now he didn’t know what to do or think. He’s a drunk (his words) and he stays away from his family because he doesn’t want to embarrass them. He was feeling guilt and at one point went into the Starbucks bathroom to drink a 1/5 of vodka so he could muster the courage to tell me how he accidentally killed a civilian family in Falujah. He haunted me for weeks. We had a couple email exchanges and I tried to be a support for him. I fear that he is now on the streets.

Jessimy, my March 19th, is now my best friend and was the catalyst for the exhibition. She had just moved to Chicago and also didn’t know anyone. We hit it off and became partners in crime. She found my business card, explaining the project, in her bag and didn’t remember meeting me so she emailed me. I also didn’t remember meeting her but told her if we met up, she could be in it. Turns out we had a brief conversation at a roller derby pre-party at Cobra lounge. We started hanging out on a regular basis and she was with me when I met many of the people in the project. I was at a point where I didn’t think I had it in me to do it. She said yes you have to put it all together and you have four months to pull it off but It’ll help you. She became my editor and producer for the show (see below).

I met Peggy, my November 8th, on a flight down to Austin. She was sitting next to me reading, “Starting a Museum: The Essentials”. I was intrigued so I asked if she was starting a museum. She wasn’t but she does write historical plays for different communities and has the towns people act it out. She really liked the concept of my project so we chatted the rest of the flight. I got an email from Peggy a couple weeks later telling me about her flight home. She sat next to a woman but never talked to her. Then as they waited for their bags they were standing beside each other. Peggy, wanting to kill time, decided to tell the woman about meeting me and my project and the question I always ask: Why are you here? The woman then blurted out, “I’m here because my sister has cancer.” They bonded and hugged when Peggy revealed her sister also has cancer. This was a huge moment for me because it was the first time I felt the ripple affect of what I was doing. My friendship was spreading.

As you can tell, Maria’s project was fascinating. To read more about her project, please check back on Friday. Maria will share more stories about the friends she met and will share some of the lessons she learned as a result of this project.

This video is not new, but it’s probably the best example of an unlikely friendship that I’ve seen and one of my all-time YouTube favorites. It serves as a great reminder that we can find friendship in many shapes, sizes and places. Enjoy the rest of the weekend…