lunes, 22 de diciembre de 2008

I was very fond of jellied cels, cockles and winkles and fish and chip shops. She was not.

“Take them to him”, she said.

“Bring them to me”, I said.

“Read it to me!”, my niece said.

“Get to the point”, the reader said.

So it was entirely up to me.

2

Business-wise, a conference centre is a great idea but parting is such sweet sorrow!

“Keep up the good work”, my ex wife said.

“What are you planning to do?”, I said.

“So far, so good”, she said.

“When buying fabric for curtains, you have to allow for an extra 5 centimetres for hems”.

“You are right”, I said. “The sooner we get it over with, the better”.

3

He had been up and doing. All my effort went down the drain.

“You don’t mean to say that he’s settled down at last. You must be joking or you will have your little joke or you’re pulling my leg or you’re having me, aren’t you? No, seriously though. I must be dreaming. Pinch me somebody. Well I’m darned or well I’am blowed. Wonders will never cease. Well I’ll go to the foot of our stairs.

4

Young people are often thoughtless without meaning to be:

“I took it for granted the salary you quoted was net”.

“They made me do it”.

5

“Supper will be ready in a tick” (VOICE OVER).

“For the time being, I’m happy living alone” (ME).

“We’ll have to sort out all those papers” (SHE).

They seem have sorted out their problems.

6

Bomb scare at Kennedy Airport.

I’m not in the mood for seeing people.

The children are very quiet.

I wonder what they’re up to?

His spell of duty was almost up.

We got down in earnest to each other.

Years before I’d been down an out.

The firm started to go downhill.

He himself was soon down to his last penny.

His family was convinced it was all up with him.

I’d been sold down the river.

Good heavens good gracious good grief golly.

I’m sorry I don’t quite follow.

7

That song reminds me of my first love

whatever the weather may be like.

I enjoy messing about in boats.

Needless to say I always use the stairs.

8

My word you frightened the living daylights out of me. Goodness me, you almost made me jump out of my skin. How you startled me. You know, you gave me quite a turn. If you go round creeping about like that anymore, you’ll frighten someone to death.

9

It’s useful to have a few phrases at the ready:

a)What do you want to do when you grow up?

b)How long will it take?

10

You could have knocked me down with a feather. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. My stomach turned right over. I went all weak at the knees.

martes, 30 de septiembre de 2008

I have just come home from Bristol. I love this city, but I am in love with Wells and, above all, Glastonbury. I climbed up to the Tor and then knew who I was. King Arthur, druid magic, Sir Lancelott, Guinevière... Avalon was true!... Then Mother Nature came to me and gave me all her power.

One day before I was singing in Wells the Swan Song:"Here in the garden, water and shadows.People and landscape threading and weaving.Out on the benches someone is sittingholding their memories".Cheers!!!

lunes, 15 de septiembre de 2008

I know this abbreviation means "laugh out loud" or "lots of laughs". But actually I mean Love Old Love again... I know when this thing happens because is so rare as a gem. And now I am singing with The Jayhawks:

I'm in love with the girl that I'm talking aboutI'm in love with the girl that I can't live withoutI'm in love but I sure picked a bad time to be in love, to be in love. let her be somebody else's queen I don't want to hear about itthere's too many others who know what I meanand that's why I got to live without it.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkZh2NgF4HoHowever, she is looking at me from my screen saver all the time. She is beautiful, inside and outside. I can see the twinkle in her eyes. I am in Lol with you, Girl.

lunes, 23 de junio de 2008

That train went on to Uzbekistan and I was not there. But I knew our shadows were like DNA chains. Life is a journey and we would be together again along the road. However, I have forgotten this truth so many times during the last years...

Fortunately, last San Juan's night, Varasek said to me I was a rusted boat. And I said:

martes, 20 de mayo de 2008

I have an UK map on my wall.One morning I woke up with a huge hangover and fixed my eyes on it. Then I saw a lot of animals... Below, a rat. Over the rat, a pig, and over the pig a dog (or maybe a witch with a Robin Hood hat on) looking fiercely at the Ulster. And the Ulster seems a dog too.

miércoles, 30 de abril de 2008

After-hours, by Martin Scorsese, is one of my favourite films. The title was translated to Spanish as Jó, ¡qué noche! I hate this expression. It is too much posh... But the film was released in 1985. Then, the expression After-hours was unusual... If the film had come out in our days, I am pretty sure the title wouldn't have changed. You know... Spaniards are very fond of nightlife and, since the mid-nineties, very fond of afterhour too, as we know this period which starts at six o'clok in the morning.Anyway, I prefer the working title of the film: A Night in Soho.

One more thing. Don't miss out Shine a Light. Scorsese + Rolling Stones.

martes, 29 de abril de 2008

A couple of weeks ago I visited my mother's house, as I do once a week, on saturdays to be strictly accurate. After having lunch, I usually take a stroll with my sister Pilar and her daughter, my cute little niece, and as long as the Wild Carmela, as she likes calling herself, goes on the swings, my sister and I talk away for hours. Last saturday, I boasted about my high level of English. However, when I started singing Because the Night, by Patti Smith, my sister said categorically: "Ok, high level, but this is inglés de Vallecas".

If you don't know what I mean, please, hear the song Aquarius (Raphael's cover, of course), and you will know why...

lunes, 7 de abril de 2008

This morning I have been to the hospital with my friend Raquel. While waiting for the results -fortunately, she is OK: 18 out of 30-, I have come across a fun sign above the toilets: "Ass Cab". Some vandal taxi-hater had removed several letters from the Spanish original: "Aseos Caballeros".

miércoles, 19 de marzo de 2008

At the beginning of the nineteenth century, there was a Spanish general of Irish origin who was executed by firing squad not because of his surname. Quite the opposite, he was a very active and liberal career soldier. In fact, he defended the Spanish Constitution of 1812.

But if you don't know his biography you will think he was an idle person. According to a Spanish saying, "Cría fama y échate a dormir". The English translation would be: "Give a dog a bad name". A friend of mine who lives quite near to Reina Sofía Museum, said to me last night he felt a bit lazy when started walking by General Lacy street on his way home.

The funny thing is that Lacy is not a corruption of the word Lazy. So actually that general was very transparent, as his deeds and literal surname show. This is why I like go walking by that street at sunset. Then I feel light as a feather.

domingo, 9 de marzo de 2008

One week ago, my six-year-old niece Carmela gave me a bunch of little mushrooms she had come across in the park. Carmela's mother, my beloved sister Pilar, said immediately those mushrooms were fairies. So I could make a wish. Of course, I did... Last new moon, the clear skies of love left its doors wide open.

jueves, 6 de marzo de 2008

You are not Peter Pan anymore. You are in Madrid now. You have to be "logical, responsible, practical" (SUPERTRAMP).However, I get back to Kansas every time I open the first page of In Cold Blood, by Truman Capote, and read:"The village of Holcomb stands on the high wheat plains of western Kansas, a lonesome area that other Kansans call 'out there'".So "get back to where you once belong" (The Beatles)

Literature is always 'out there' whispering in your ears:"I wonder if I shall fall right through the earth! How funny it'll seem to come out among the people that walk with their heads downwards" (Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, by Lewis Carroll)"It is the fairy language. You ordinary children can never hear it, but if you were to hear it you would know that you had heard it once before" (Peter Pan, by J.M.Barrie)"Si tu aimes une fleur qui se trouve dans un étoile, c'est doux, la nuit, de regarder le ciel" (Le Petit Prince, by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry."I'am seventeen and I'm crazy" (Clarisse to Guy Montag in Farenheit 451, by Ray Bradbury)."He never stopped talking, and what was awful was, he never said anything you wanted to hear in the first place" (The Catcher in the Rye, by J.D. Salinger).I believe in Literature even more than in Billy Wilder. So I will always live in Kansas.

miércoles, 5 de marzo de 2008

I had been working for that travel agency since the early 2000's and I felt really bored of my job. Besides, it was in the middle of the busy season of tourism. Totally disgusting, but one day S. came out of the blue.S. was young blood, fresh air and all this kind of stereotyped shit. Nineteen years old and nineteen years younger than me. At the time, my last girlfriend and I had just split up and I felt a little hopeless. So it was very easy to fall in love with that newcomer workmate. S. was not only young but pretty, a really cute angel with brand-new wings. Unfortunately, she was always talking about her handsome boyfriend, their trips to the mountain on the weekends making barbacues and stuff like that.S. used to come to my desk to take the stamp of the agency once or twice an hour. I was the person in charge of keeping the stamp in good fit. To top, I had to go after the stamp when my workmates forgot to give it back to me. This sort of repetitive deeds forges our daily and sad reality, but we are always hoping a miracle, a sexual miracle at least. But miracles are for believers and I only believed in Billy Wilder (as Fernando Trueba said Oscar in hand).

However, the miracle began to crystalise when S. changed the pace of her visits to my desk. Now she came four or five times an hour. At first, I thought she was mocking me. But one week later I noticed she watched me much more than the usual.

One night I had a dream. I could see S. naked in the toilets of the office. Se was laid on the cold floor, pointing at me with a sensual finger. Her long painted nail was a scorpion's tail inviting me to go for a dip.

I got undressed and one minute later fell down upon her. I could notice her tiny and tender breast below me. Suddenly I realised that my lips had stamped kisses of ink on her whole body. Then I knew she would always be mine.

Next morning, S. didn't go to work. At the end of the day, someone called to the office and said that S. was dead. She had been found in her apartment totally naked. My company's name was stamped all over her body.

lunes, 3 de marzo de 2008

Everyday I make a short walk before starting to write. I am embarked on a fantasy novel. I have already finished two out of three parts of it. Apart from the novel, there are a lot of things nagging in my mind: money, love... It's always the same story. Fortunately, I saw this morning a writing on a wall: "Acepta". That's true. I am fighting for my dreams. I am a richman who don't have anything. That's all.

domingo, 2 de marzo de 2008

It was on a sunny sunday afternoon of March. I was in a park close to my apartment reading The Times as I do every sunday since I discovered it is more useful to learn English than to read Shakespeare's works. So I was reading Alice Miles' article when I realized that a cock pigeon tried fucking a nice dove. As a backdrop, there was a gang of tramps fighting for a bottle of plonk*.I felt a mix of happiness and bitterness. On one hand, the weather was marvelous, but on the other, a strong feeling of hopelessness began to dominate my mind. At the time, I was fed up with living alone. I had lived alone for two years and I couldn't stand it anymore. Then, I cried to myself, "Is there anybody out there?".(silence)Suddenly, I was the defeated cock pigeon or, maybe, I was the tramp fighting for a burning sip of plonk. The nice dove flew away into the sky.

In UK most of people has a very keen sense of humor. A band was named after the UB40 (Unemployment Benefit, Form 40). However, there are names that are not at all funny. I am thinking of B-29 Enola Gay. Anyway, it deserved a song by OMD. I mean... Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark. When I think of this name, I can't help seeing myself in the dark of a cinema kissing my first love. The atom bomb of reality is falling outside.

viernes, 22 de febrero de 2008

The first words I learned from English were Yes and No. From one word to another there was un unknown but fascinating world. So I decided to look for more words. Where? Of course, in the books. At first, I read a lot of best-sellers. Children of Tender Years, by Ted Allbeury, for example, was very useful to me. These are some of the words I learned from it:1.Tears2.Cello3.Spring4.Upset5.Soggy6.Soil7.Displeased8.Dirt cheap9.Tearoom10.Cigar box

Of course, I used those words to make up a brief tale:"It was a luminous spring morning, but the soil was soggy. In tune with that, I felt upset and displeased. With tears in my eyes, I took my dirt cheap cigar box out from my pocket and lit a cigarette. When I got in the tearoom, she started playing her cello".

A blank question means "una pregunta directa". So, would you like to marry me?SHE: I would if you didn't wear tank tops. Your armpit smells like herring.ME: Sorry?SHE: I was just trying to divert your boredom.ME: In that case, why don't you go to hell?SHE: Ok... You are out of humor.ME: Not exactly, but I’m not in the mood for jokes. Besides, my proposal of marriage was sincere.SHE: Oh, I see... Well. I accept it.

miércoles, 20 de febrero de 2008

It is more than a movie by Woody Allen. I met you last summer. You were my teacher and I was your devoted student. You said I had pronounced the word success perfectly well. But we are both losers. You are a cute-cool painter who is drifting far from her crenelated country, and I am a wanderer writer without homeland and flag. I wonder if you would like to share the next trip to nowhere with me.

lunes, 18 de febrero de 2008

I went with my uncle Mariano and my cousins Ana & Inesita to the premiere of Grease. It was in 1978. Since then, this movie has been one of my favourite films. Of course, it is uncool if you are a fan of Bergman as I am myself. But this movie has had as influence on my life and artistic taste as The Seven Seal.I know almost note by note Grease soundtrack. But I never understood well its lyrics.Now, you can compare what I understood then from You're the One That I Want and what the lyrics really mean.

TRAVOLTA: I got chills. / They're multiplyin'. / And I'm losin' control.ME AS A CHILD: I catch you / this maladjustment. / And I'm blue as a troll.

TRAVOLTA: 'Cause the power you're supplyin', / it's electrifyin'! /ME AS A CHILD: Close the flower with a player. / It's Alan being fire.

OLIVIA: You better shape up*, / 'cause I need a man / and my heart is set on you.ME AS A CHILD: You Bernstein pop / cozy needle / and my heart is zero on you.

OLIVIA: You better shape up; / you better understand / to my heart I must be true.ME AS A CHILD: You Bernstein pop / you Bernstein tampax / to my heart I must be cruel.

TRAVOLTA: Nothin' left, nothin' left / for me to do.ME AS A CHILD: Nothingness, nothingness / for mink to do.

TRAVOLTA AND OLIVIA: You're the one that I want (you are the one i want want), o, o, oo, honey. / The one that I want (you are the one i want want), o, o, oo, honey. / The one that I want(you are the one i want want), o, o, oo. / The one I need. / Oh, yes indeed.ME AS A CHILD: Joan of Arc that I want (Joan of Arch I want want), o, o, oo, Johnny. / Joan that I want (Joan of Arch I want want), o, o, oo, Johnny. / Joan that I want (Joan of Arch I want want), o, o, oo. / The Joan I miss. / Oh, yes indie.

TRAVOLTA: I better shape up, / 'cause you need a manOLIVIA: who can keep me satisfied.ME AS A CHILD: I Bernstein pop / 'cause jonny a mum / who can kill me satisfied.

TRAVOLTA: I better shape up / if I'm gonna proveOLIVIA: You better prove that my faith is justified.ME AS A CHILD: I Bernstein pop /is Angola proof / you Vader proof that my face is just a face.

TRAVOLTA: Are you sure?TRAVOLTA & OLIVIA: Yes, I'm sure down deep inside.ME AS A CHILD: Are you sugar? Yes, I'am sugar dandy side.

TRAVOLTA AND OLIVIA: You're the one that I want (you are the one i want want), o, o, oo, honey. / The one that I want (you are the one i want want), o, o, oo, honey. / The one that I want(you are the one i want want), o, o, oo. / The one I need. / Oh, yes indeed.ME AS A CHILD: Joan of Arc that I want (Joan of Arch I want want), o, o, oo, Johnny. / Joan that I want (Joan of Arch I want want), o, o, oo, Johnny. / Joan that I want (Joan of Arch I want want), o, o, oo. / The Joan I miss. / Oh, yes indie.

I would have never seen Friends if I hadn't had to learn English. I am very fond of this series now, almost a fan. It is really good for practise English and learn a lot of idioms.Let's see the pilot:

ROSE: Stop cleansing my aura.

Of course, Rose is not talking about "spiritual cleansing". Later, he says: "Why does everyone keep fixating on that?".I think he means: "Come on, guys. Let me alone. My pregnant wife is in love with another woman. You are true friends of mine, I know... but don't nag me all the time".

JOEY: Strip joints!

In Joey's opinion, Rose should pay for a private strep-tease rather than to depress himself. Let alone the literal sense, it is an invitation to look on the bright side of the road.

RACHEL: I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry. And then I really freaked out.

Rachel alucinó (She freaked out). I think the word freak is as freaky in English as in Spanish.

RACHEL: I didn't know where to go, and I know you and I have drifted apart.

I like this word a lot. To drift is "ir a la deriva, sin rumbo". Neil Young sings Comes a time when you're driftin'.In this case, it means: "distanciarse".

ROSE (To RACHEL): You probably didn't know this, but back in high school I had a major crush on you.

To have a crush on somebody means "estar chiflado por alguien".I have an orange crush from time to time.

viernes, 15 de febrero de 2008

A preguntas necias, respuestas sordas. Pero a veces no te queda más remedio que contestar cuando un desconocido te aborda en medio de la calle y te pregunta:-Do you know where Tom has gone?And you reply him:-I don't, I am sorry. Anyway, it is easy to find out.... But before looking for him, I will tell you a story... I first met Tom shortly after he released his one hit wonder Sex Bomb. "Sexbomb, sexbomb, you're my sexbomb. And baby you can turn me on*". In those days, he wasn't in love with anyone. So he felt horribly unhappy. You could find him in some dirty bar drinking till the break of day. One of those alcoholic nights I approached him. "Dear Tom. I don't want to have your autograph, but I wouldn't refuse a cup from you". "Sure, not problem" (Tom's answer). That first cup was the beginning of a beautiful friendsip**.

It's very common either in English or Spanish to speak more than you should. Esta historia lo demuestra.

jueves, 14 de febrero de 2008

I true friend of mine said to me last night: "¡Qué de phrasal verbs y false friends!".Es curioso que un amigo verdadero hable de "amigos falsos", ¿no?Anyway, he is right. Loco English is based on false friends and phrasal verbs in a 70 %.Of course, false friends here are deliberate.Anyway, I prefer a true friend who uses false friends to a false friend who speaks English perfectly.

El inglés me vuelve loco. I am crazy about English.Siempre he estudiado inglés a salto de mata. I had always been studying English hand to mouth.Escribo inglés mejor que lo hablo. Are you sure, Enrique?I am not sure about what is sure in English... Pero...

De eso se trata, de volverse loco con el inglés, de jugar y, de paso, de aprender todo el inglés que podamos aunque sea a lo loco. You know... My parents didnt' send me abroad when I was fourteen. They wanted me to be a peasant... It is a joke. They hadn't enough money.