Realistic Social Media Notifications

If you’re on any form of social media, you know that you can opt in or opt out of getting notifications any time someone “likes,” retweets, pins or comments on your updates or on the status of your friends.

I generally opt out of getting the emails because too many emails make me twitchy and I really don’t need extra noise. When I go to the site, I’ll see it. The end.

But I might change my mind if I was sent more realistic social media notifications—something more than “Anne commented on your status update” or “Bill retweeted one of your tweets.” I have a few suggestions in case anyone wants to contract out my services.

P.S. Facebook has changed it’s reach AGAIN and only 5-10 percent of people are seeing my updates. To ensure you’re not missing a thing, add my Facebook page to your “Interests” lists, subscribe to my blog or follow me on Twitter.

33 responses to “Realistic Social Media Notifications”

Your new friend on Twitter has just shared 100 pictures of beautiful landscapes, none of which they took themselves.

That animal activitst friend from primary school that you don’t want to delete because of all the mutual friends that you have has just shared 20 pictures of abused animals that will undoubtedly make you cry.

You could add seasonal things too, such as:

Your friend who has a new baby has dressed her child up as a pumpkin/Christmas tree/Easter chick… She has received 57 comments about how cute this is.

Ditto with cats/dogs…

Your friend has just uploaded a carefully instagrammed picture of a Pumpkin Spiced Latte…

Joe just got back from an hour-long trip to the gym, 30 minutes of which he spent taking photos of himself in the weight room mirror trying to get the most muscular-looking gym selfie. #getripped #soripped #beastmode #crossfit #sneakers #shorts #legday #armday #headday #wristday #workingout #iworkout #muscles #lookatmeplease #pleasepleaselookatme

15 of your friends just posted about their OMGAMAZING Scentsy/It Works/Wraps products that they totally believe in.

12 of your friends just became BeachBody coaches and will now write long, lilting statuses about how inspirational it is to work out and drink shakes instead of food and somehow make money selling these ideas to their friends.

The Lol one got me. Too funny. And the couple that feel they have to affirm their relationship on facebook. Unfortunatly, my dad is both a lol user and loves posting statuses dedicated to his new wife. I’m considering blocking him. Can you block your own dad? Its an ethical conundrum.

And I’m cracking up at these and definitely guilty of at least a solid handful. We should hold a Twitter party on tweeting etiquette. Think of the possibilities. Oh wait, there are none. Oops, disregard.

My favorite: “You are now only 15 people away from 2,000 followers and only three friends away from having 3 friends.” And the one about giving up after Justin Bieber tweets about tacos. I also liked all the LinkedIn ones. The other day I got an email someone congratulated me on a work anniversary I didn’t even know I had.