some would call it funny, especially the aftermath, we pretended we couldn't breath and some of us died and returned as zombies. the teacher told us to all leave the classroom because we kept making jokes. she was a really funny girl so no one made fun of her. she probably would have cussed them out.

In my English class, our teacher split us into groups of 4 and we were to jot down every play we know by William Shakespeare. Then she made each group read off their list. I read my group's list to the class. "Twelfth Night...MacBeth..." etc. etc. then I said Star Wars. The whole class died of laughter and my English teacher thought I was the dumbest kid alive.

When I was in 3rd grade, we were learning about encyclopedias. The teacher gave each of us a topic (I got dogs), and were were supposed to find 2 facts in the encyclopedia, write them on a note card, and then present them to the class. Not liking to write (and being somewhat ignorant of things that should be obvious), I chose the two shortest facts I could find. The first, which I read in front of the class, was,

"A bitch is an adult female dog."

Believe it or not, that was my first exposure to the word "bitch." It may have been the most embarrassing day of my life, but it is quite funny thinking back to it.

I wondered if all the guys in my school had those secretive "suddadick" jokes going on. (where they say "suck that dick" super fast and laugh) I asked one of my friends if they did the same, and he did not hear me the first time. Or the second, third, fourth or tenth. Finally I stood up in the middle of class and pronounced "suck that dick" and everyone cackled and laughed, along with him, and I was sent to the student counselor for my "sexual outbursts."

Not something I experienced personally, but the story involves a guy who cut his hand by accident during a practical test for biology. Turns out he was a Harry Potter fan, because when he went to the bathroom to clean himself up, he thought it'd be clever to write THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS HAS BEEN OPENED on the mirror with his blood. Naturally, the school commitee freaked the F$% out and took it as some bizarre murder-suicide ritual (there'd been such an incident some years ago).

During the stand-in performance of a play I was in, the stand-in was in fact being a little overzealous with me in his amorous acting, so I kind of nudged him too hard, down the stairs, into the orchestra pit...