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Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Summertime eReader Giveaway

More than 20 authors will be sharing their best and worst pick-up lines during this EPIC eReader Giveaway! Win dozens of prizes, including swag packs, print or eBooks, gift cards, tote, posters, themed prizes, etc...and of course, a grand prize of four (4) eReaders!

I’m so old I can hardly remember a pickup line. And when you get to be my age, you don’t get them hurled at you any longer, either. My babies are having babies of their own, so I’m not even around that scene any longer. But I do have a few exceptional, colorful memories.

In the 1960’s and 1970’s pick up lines were very simple. The favorite pick up line in my day would have been, “I have some really good shit.” The guy would wiggle his eyebrows. I’d notice his pupils were dilated and I’d declare him truthful.

My answer always was, “Really?”

But I remember well the one line the football player I would not sleep with (he later went on to play for the Kansas City Chiefs) liked to use on me, until he got tired of waiting, “We’d be so good together.” Oh, I knew it would feel good, and he did have the moves, and liked to demonstrate them masterfully. But I couldn’t handle the guy’s hairy chest and all the gold chains. Not to mention, I didn’t have the guts to tell him he smelled like a jockstrap.

One guy I dated casually was 6’11, and he also played professional basketball and sported two championship rings. He had been dating a girl barely five feet. I turned the tables on him before we started dating, using this line, “I saw you walk in that night, with your arm on her shoulder, and my friend and me said, ‘If there ever was a physical impossibility, that’s got to be it.’” He gave me a very nice smile and blushed (yes, this big guy cried on the court and blushed when I was too direct with him, which I later did all the time), when he answered me back,

“Well, it’s not.”

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SEAL's Code Blurb:

Danny Begay has tried to drive out the voices of his ancestors, but his Navajo roots will not die. Summoned back to Arizona to visit his dying grandfather, a former Navajo Code Talker, he knows he has disappointed his hero grandfather. He buries himself one more time in the arms of a stranger before going back to Northern California.

Luci Tohe teaches at a reservation school, safeguarding the health of her ailing mother and little sister’s future, her own life on hold. She doesn’t expect the young Dine warrior she meets to be anything but a distraction from her loneliness.

Danny decides to join the Navy, as a SEAL, becoming the man he knew he was destined to be. Before deployment, he goes back to visit the girl he cannot get out of his mind. A dangerous human trafficking element threatens Luci and her family. Danny vows to protect them all.

NYT and USA/Today and Amazon Top 100 Bestselling Author Sharon Hamilton’s SEAL Brotherhood series have earned her Amazon author rankings of #1 in Romantic Suspense, Military Romance and Contemporary Romance. Her characters follow a sometimes rocky road to redemption through passion and true love. Her Golden Vampires of Tuscany earned her a #1 Amazon author ranking in Gothic Romance.

A lifelong organic vegetable and flower gardener, Sharon and her husband live in the Wine Country of Northern California, where most of her stories take place. When she’s not writing, you will find her in the garden, getting verra verra dirty.

I honestly do not have many stories about great pick-up lines. I do have one.

It begins back in (since I like to time-hop) 1989! No joke! This is a true story that only a few know.

So when I was 15 years old I was introduced to an older guy. He was seventeen. I was really living on the edge!

We were introduced by mutual friends back in high school. This was not among my usual group of friends, but this seventeen year old senior made my shy 15 year old self feel welcomed. Not to mention he was hot. Like a young Tom Cruise but built like a football player.

This senior asked if I wanted to play a game of table tennis, ping pong. Back then, not sure if bong pong (or whatever it’s called) was around. This was old school, straight-up ping pong. Since I had just quit playing softball, after being on a team for years (I was a pitcher and third basemen) I thought, “Oh why not. This can’t be any harder than a stick hitting a ball! Right?

Well, I was wrong.

This “senior” could give Macaroni (my nickname of John McEnroe) a run for his money. No joke. This senior served the ball so fast I didn’t even see it pass me. Not only was it a fast serve, it was an excellent serve.

Okay, that told me what I was dealing with.

So, in our game of table tennis he’s absolutely creaming me and says . . . are ya ready? This is the pick-up line. Hold your panties. This is a good one. Take a deep breath.

As he prepares to serve faster than the speed of light, he says, “You know I used to be the Missouri State Ping Pong Champion?”

Now . . . you may say, “Oh come on . . . how terrible is that? Is that even a pick up line?” And you would be correct. It was terrible, but it was a pick-up line. It’s the truth.

But I, at the age of fifteen, didn’t realize it was a real bona fide pick-up line.

With my hand on my fifteen year old hip, I said, “What? No. Really?”

No joke I considered it.

For the simple fact, I never saw the ball go past me!! Now, again, this is because I played ball. How could this be soo difficult for me? How could it have been that much harder than softball? He must have been the Missouri State Ping Pong Champ!!

And to this day, that “senior” still gives me the best one-liners! He’s my husband. And has been since 1996 when we finally got married.

My husband of 18 yrs, and a total relationship of 26 years long, will still feed me the best cheesy lines.

No matter how stupid, or corny, or cheesy, or just down right stupid his one-liners are, he still makes me laugh. I LOVE that about him. I suppose his “pick-up line” worked!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~Girl Spoken For Blurb

What’s the point of making a New Year’s resolution when weeks later your life goes to the toilet anyway?

Sixteen-year-old Tatum Duncan’s life has turned upside down. Her best friend and grandmother has died, her mother is threatening to send her to an all-girls school for defending herself against a bully, and her abusive boyfriend nearly kills hers. 1989 isn’t turning out to be her year.

But just when it seems like all is lost, Tatum is saved by Zach Bertano, her longtime friend and secret crush. Her dormant attraction to him surfaces with his persistent attention. As her love for Zach grows, she comes to learn that he too has skeletons, and his issues could affect Tatum’s life in ways she never imagined.

She’s always been an animal lover and animal rights advocate. She is certified by FEMA in IS-00011.a Animal in Disasters: Community Planning. She’s also an active volunteer at the Humane Society of Missouri.