the same but different

As we come into Thanksgiving and are positioned into moments of forced gratitude, a little bit of reflection is apt to happen. Even for someone who attempts to practice daily gratitude I feel like I've been living with a 1000 pound gorilla on my chest.

Much like my favorite MBTI blogger thoughts today, this year has been tough to feel thankful about. I traveled more than I dreamed to explore in a year, survived my first #MovementDetriot, got that new job to kickstart my career, and braved opening my heart again, but instead of finding happiness and peace, I found myself in a lot of pain, re-learning a hard lesson from last year.

They say the definition of insanity is "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result." The truth is I've been stupidly insane this year. One could say the writing was on the wall, but as much as it seemed similar, there were differences as well. The rational part of me says I need to forgive myself for the mistake, move on, and never let it happen again. The emotional part of me wants to sit in a room and cry until I can't shut my eyes.

Of course the rational part has history on it's side, and history says "this too shall pass." But it still sucks in the meantime.

“We need, in love, to practice only this: letting each other go. For holding on comes easily; we do not need to learn it.” -Rilke