Tuesday, November 23, 2004

*sigh* still no time (or is it motivation?) to write about my deep thoughts from Angels in America and 'the Bell Curve'. Still thinking about it...

In the meantime, exercise...

Weds 11/17 (I was bad!) pickup hockey 6:45-7:45am, hockey practice 8-9
Thurs 11/18 Off day
Fri 11/19 weight lifting
Sat 11/20 Hockey practice 5-7
Sun 11/21 Hockey game, 3:15-4:45. Hurt my shoulder, so didn't go to vball practice
Mon 11/22 Vball league playoff game 7:15-8. We lost. So got to go home early. I was glad because I didn't want to injure my shoulder, but at the same time I ate a ton of mini chocolate bars at work (600 cal worth!) so I kinda wanted a bit of exercise to work that off. Better to rest my shoulder.
Tues 11/23 Hockey pickup 6:45-7:45.

Went to see the doc about my lack of periods on Friday. She's doing some tests for hormone levels. We'll see. I'm also having an ultrasound because my uterus is 'a bit far on the right hand side'. Whatever that means. M- always teases me about being crooked (one of my ears is quite a bit higher than the other one, so my glasses have to be bent so they look straight on my face), I guess I'm more crooked than I thought! That's tomorrow afternoon...

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

So, I've been watching Angels in America over the last couple of days, and it's really made me think... stuff I want to write about. But I'm tired, and I managed to sign myself up for early morning hockey again tomorrow morning, so I'm going to have to save that for another entry.

Thursday, November 11, 2004

I had a really crappy day at work today. Three months (just about) into my new job, I suppose it's about time. Spent all day in completely useless meetings. Four hours of presentations by an outside vendor that I had already seen. Grrr... I don't mind being stuck in meeting so much when I feel like I'm learning something, but to waste my time like that? It really pisses me off. So I ended up leaving work early (yeah, at 5:20 - not really so early!) 'cause although I had a ton of stuff to do today I was just sitting there being pissed (after I got back from the meeting at 5pm) so I decided to come home and do fun things instead.

I'm a pissy driver when I'm frustrated. Not good. People who feel the need to come to a complete stop before making a right turn? Idiots! People who can't stay in their own lane? Morons. Those who drive below the speed limit up to a traffic light that's green, only to have it turn red before I get there (of course, THEY make it through!!!). Imbeciles! Usually I can take these things in stride, but when I'm already in a bad mood, forget it. So much worse. So I get home in a pissier mood than I was when I left. Tonight I could feel it happening and tried my best NOT to choose to be pissy... worked a bit. Not completely though.

I think I'm also getting a cold, which sucks.

And I've been eating GARBAGE over the past week or so. I decided that perhaps I'm not getting my period because I undereat / overexercise, so I thought I'd try not being quite as concerned about the calories I'm eating. Of course that translated almost immediately into buying chocolate and candy. And proceeding to eat it in vast quantities. I really don't know why - yes, it tastes good at the time, but afterwards - who even remembers? Except the scale, of course. ha. I have to get back to writing everything down. Not for losing weight, but just so I'm not eating all this crap.

I'm sad today. I don't know why. Maybe tired.

Weds 11/10 - walked 2 miles, hockey 11-12.
Thurs 11/11 - nothing!
Fri 11/12 - planning on lifting in the morning.
(I need to write this down beforehand so that when I get up tomorrow morning I don't tell myself I don't have to go. I started lifting two years ago, and I've been SO good about it, going almost religiously 2 times a week, up until this new job. Where I can no longer wander in at 10am. So now I have to drag myself out of bed at 6:30 to go and lift, and it's somehow much easier to talk myself out of it at that time rather than at 7:15.)

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

So I'm thinking about starting a family, have been off the pill since July without getting my period. Funny how things like that happen - we spend so much of our young lives trying not to get pregnant, and then when you want to, you find out all the precautions were for nothing. ha. joke's on you!

Anyway, I've been wondering if I'm not getting my period 'cause I'm exercising too much. I keep telling myself that I'm not, but I get talked into things / sign up for things because they sound like they'll be fun... and next thing I know, I'm overdoing it! So I'm going to try keeping track of what I'm really doing, so I can figure out how to control myself.

The whole journaling thing really helped me lose weight back in May - perhaps being more concious of the exercise I'm doing will help me to cut down on that as well. If I really find that I need to. We'll see what the doc says in a week or so....

About Me

Thought I would "get healthy" in preparation for having a baby. Lost 20lbs to a BMI of around 20 in May-Jun '04. Went off the pill right after that, and surprise surprise, didn't even get my period. Diagnosed with hypothalamic amenorrhea. Gained some weight, cut exercise, didn't have anyone else with HA to ask questions of, so ended up moving to injectables, 4 BFN cycles. Surprise natural pregnancy while waiting to do IVF (and having gained those 20lbs back, cut my exercise 50%). DS#1 born 08/2006. Cycled fairly normally 1 year later, DS#2 born 09/2008. Cycles returned 10 months later. M/c 06/2010, then DS#3 born 04/2012 through IVF.