my heart is an empty room: notes on family

I have to admit it: it’s just not a concept I can get behind. I’m trying to decide exactly how horrible of a person that makes me.

Related:

Is it possible to love someone but not respect them? I can’t decide. I can’t decide if I think it’s possible at all for anyone, and if it is, if it’s possible for me. The rate at which my heart closes down is directly related to how much I respect someone, I know that. It’s hard to keep my heart open when the respect isn’t there. I think this is where unconditional love should come in.

Related:

When someone is deeply hard-edged person at their core, and another person is deeply soft, can these two ever have anything but a surface friendship? Exactly how much deep down bedrocky stuff do two people need to have in common in order to have a deep bond?

My relationship with a close friend is shifting under my feet. We used to be in one place, and as the years have passed I’ve opened my eyes, and now I see that we’re somewhere else, somewhere a little dangerous.

I’m trying to be really smart and wise about it, trying to stay openhearted and gently skate over this delicate unknown patch until we find ourselves on terra firma again. It’s achingly hard, but I’m up for the work.