Vicki from Pennsylvania found us online and a felt compelled to write us with her story filled with wisdom. She is 66 and her youngest daughter is now 21.

My first child was born when I was 29. He was a healthy 8 lb. baby and I was probably a little in awe of this tiny bit of humanity. I went back to work immediately, primarily because I was able to take my son back to work with me. My husband was a veteran who was completing his bachelors degree and was able to take the baby in the afternoons.

Then in 1981 we decided to have another child. Our son was 6 years old when his sister was born. We were sure that our family was complete. When our daughter was 9 years old, and I was 44, I found that I was pregnant with a third child.

This was totally unplanned and happened despite every precaution we had taken to prevent a pregnancy. In fact I was scheduled for tubal ligation surgery in June – a month after I found out I was pregnant.

I was stunned and embarrassed. Here I was with a 16 and 10 year old and I am expecting another baby at 44. I was immediately advised by both my PCP and my Obstetrician that I was a “high risk” mother. Other than a fibroid tumor that seemed to have attached itself to the growing fetus, I didn’t have any problems with the pregnancy.

The birth of our 3rd child, a girl was relatively easy. After completing a full day of work, I came home to start dinner, but my water broke within the first half hour of getting in the door. Our little girl came 6 hours after my water broke.

Emotionally, my concerns were about how I was going to have enough energy to keep up with a baby. The blessing in it all is that I had a very supportive family, and lots of help from both my mother and mother-in-law.

My experience with this late life baby has been awesome. She has grown into a thoroughly capable competent young woman. I believe I was a more relaxed mother with her, and I think that being older allowed me to engage in more thoughtful parenting practices than I used with my two older children.

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We have begun a new column where our readers can write in with their questions. We’ll field the questions to one or more experts in the subject and post the responses typically within 2 weeks. Write Us with Your Question!

Q: I’m 36, healthy and trying to get pregnant for the first time. How long should my husband and I expect it to take to conceive on our own? When should we seek a medical consultation and with whom?

A: Women in their mid-30s who are trying for pregnancy generally have a 10-15% chance of conceiving each month. Approximately 80% of couples will be able to conceive within the first year. However, if there has been no success for many months, the overall chance of pregnancy per month begins to decline – to even 1-2% after a full year of trying.

Women over the age of 35 should consider seeking fertility evaluation if they have been trying for 6 or more months for pregnancy without success. As fertility significantly declines after the mid-30s, it is especially important for those 35 and older to seek prompt fertility evaluation to maximize the chances of success.

A woman is born with all the eggs she will ever have. During her life, she will continue to lose eggs (both through the process of ovulation as well as through a process called apoptosis – or programmed cell death). The eggs that remain continue to deteriorate in quality. It is especially important to keep an eye on ovarian health as a woman approaches her mid-30s and beyond.

Some women will seek initial guidance from an obstetrician/gynecologist (a.k.a. OBGYN). Many OBGYNs are quite comfortable performing basic fertility evaluations and some types of fertility treatment.

Reproductive endocrinologists (REs) are OBGYNs who have undergone 3 years of additional specialization in fertility. They are able to handle all types of fertility treatments – from very basic to very complex. Oftentimes OBGYNs will refer patients to an RE if the basic testing is abnormal and/or if the basic treatments are not working. Some patients prefer to start off with an RE so that they are able to have access to full fertility evaluation/treatment from the start.