LGBT

In this conversation on race, LeRon talks to Simma about why it’s often draining for him to talk to a lot of white people about race. Simma and LeRon agree that allies are important and that it’s more effective for a white person to talk to another white person about race and racism in order to educate them, and raise their level of understanding.

LeRon and Simma both believe that you have to go where people are at and not assume they know more than they do. However, people need to be called on racist, homophobic, etc. statements. Being an ally and intervening can mean losing friends and even family members who want to hold on to hate. LeRon says he won’t sit with certain family members who insist on making homophobic remarks.

It’s usually more effective for someone to hear about race issues, racism and bias from someone who is more like them in some way. That’s true for LGBTQ and homophobia. A straight person will be less defensive and more open to listen to another straight person.

Other topics are the challenges of talking about race and racism, race and d vegetarianism and whether Chicago pizza is better than New York pizza.

Joel Brown talks about the need to allow people to grow, and the problems that arise when they are not given a chance to change. Racism doesn’t get eliminated by attacking people who want to stop racism but may say the wrong thing. That’s different than someone who is a racist, supports racism and takes actions to perpetuate racism.

Everyone is going to make mistakes. What is the point of having conversations if we can’t do that? Joel says it’s making him tired. While some of these issues are valid, they don’t call for canceling people out. We need to be savvier.

When do we allow benevolence to be a good thing? When the billionaire keynote speaker at Morehouse said he would pay off everyone’s school loans, someone asked on social media “why didn’t they do that for Spelman?”
People are angry, not being heard, and want to be heard. Other people are cosigning because they don’t want the other person to be in pain.

There is a hypersensitivity to issues that have not been addressed. At the same time, there needs to be room for conversation.
The USA has not dealt with its history of racism and slavery. We need to figure it out, or nothing will change. By calling out every single thing someone says, and putting so much energy in shutting people down, we end up not dealing with systemic racism.
It’s easier to deflect from our own issues by making someone else “the enemy” when they are on our side. If we want to eliminate racism, we need more dialogue, conversation and education.

Conversations on race can only happen when people are open to listening, learning and talking.
If we want change, we have to look at manifestations of racism. Ex. At a high school white kids had “thug day,” and dressed up as their stereotype of Black rappers. The white woman who exposed it was getting death threats. More attention needs to be on those issues and why this is going on.

Different issues need to have different consequences. We need to address how egregious is it? What were the intentions? How willing is the person to listen, learn and change?

Joel also says that it’s essential for people of color to learn about each other, that Black people need to learn about Asian people, Asian people need to learn about LatinX people, etc. Just because people consider themselves a person of color doesn’t mean they understand or have any contact with people from other groups and may have biases about other groups.

There is too much conversation and too many people saying that Democratic candidates for president are not “gay enough” “Black enough” or made a comment 20 years ago. If we want to defeat Trump, we will need to get behind whoever is running. Change and progress don’t happen under repression. Racism, loss of rights, gender inequality only gets worse. Hate crimes go up.

People can create change under a liberal government. It’s up to the people to take power together. Even under Obama, changes like gay marriage happened as a result of people putting pressure.

Increase in tribalism makes it easier for people to be co-opted, particularly white people who are alienated, many of whom are being targeted and recruited by white supremacists.

Solutions
Look at ourselves
What part do we play, what do we need to change about ourselves?
How do I heal myself?
Hold politicians accountable, even those that look like us
Everyone needs to vote- think of the most vulnerable
Have the conversation
Have more conversations on race, real conversations beyond social media
We need to be in the same spaces and think about things differently
See the “other side.” We need to listen and hear the basis for other people’s thinking
People who are privileged have to look at what part they play and look at imbalance
We all have privilege and power in some level and need to share
Recognize when someone is making a good faith effort and be patient and educate
This is different than someone who is an active racist?

My guests were in this episode are Paoi Eulalia and Alessandra Stevens from MXD Magazine.

MXD Magazine is a publication that celebrates LGBTQ People of Color (POCs), non-conformists, and allies. Both Paoi and Alessandra are Filipino-American but represent different genders and generations.

One of their objectives is to fight racism masked as sexual preference, among other façades. Too often LGBTQ people of color are either objectified as exotic sexual objects or are totally invisible. We discuss the different ways LGBTQ people are seen as sex objects and not as real people.

MXD Magazine aims to celebrate and bring LGBTQ people of color deal with issues that concern them.

It’s still all too common that LGBTQ people are presented in the media as all white men. Not only are people of color in general missing from the conversation but also Transgender people who are most often targets of violence and discrimination are discounted.

Within the LGB community there is still a lack of education, bias and transphobia. MXD Magazine is all-inclusive and features several people who are transgender. The magazine is still in its infant stages and most of the articles and features are male focused but by bringing in Alessandra and other women they hope to change that.

We discuss how the right therapy and therapists can make a difference in people’s lives for self-acceptance, internalized homophobia and transphobia. Both Alessandra and Paoi see the importance of increasing the amount of LGBTQ therapists who are people of color and eliminating the stigma that some people still have regarding therapy. They each share their own experiences as to how therapy has helped each of them become the healthy emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

We agree that there needs to be more attention paid to intersectionality in the LGBTQ community in order to have the conversation on race and other differences. No one is just one identity, or just LGBTQ. People are from different cultures, generations, religions, races, etc. Those multiple identities can create commonalities and connections if we are willing to look at them. No conversation on race, gender identity, or sexual orientation can be meaningful without understanding intersectionality.