God Damned Young People and Their Weirdo Haircuts Drive Me Nuts

In my day, a lad had two choices for a haircut – a crew cut or a flat top and both cost 50 cents. You went to the barber every Saturday morning with your old dad, had your ears raised and were grateful to look like every other kid on your block.

But these young people today. They all want to “express themselves” with their weirdo hairdos!

They walk around with their spiky bangs, corn rows, streaky uplifts, mohawks, faux hawks and wigged out sideburns. It’s a carnival freak show but without the popcorn.

If I had ever come home with a multi-colored mullet and a bum fluff goatee my old dad would have used me as a stump and split a cord of wood on my back.

It’s showy and disrespectful. Plumped and preening like a bunch of randy roosters let loose in a hen house. Disgraceful. I say they should round those damned young people up and sheer them down like the sheep they’re supposed to be.

It’s dangerous I tell you and it leads to anarchy and loose morals. It won’t be long before willy nilly hair styles aren’t enough for them anymore and they start frothing at the mouth, burning down post offices, practicing communism and forcing seniors to sport dreadlocks, rattails, moptops and worse.

And mark my god damned words, when that day comes we are all going to be well and truly sorry.

Hmmm, Don. I can’t decide whether I want to strangle you or hug you. If you truly do feel this way about wild hairstyles, I totally disagree. Exactly how would I be disrespecting you by having a wild hair style? And why is it disgraceful? Because you don’t agree with it? Some of the most creative and intelligent people I know either have or have had “expressive” hair styles. I just don’t think you should stereotype someone because of their hair. I think it’s disgraceful and disrespectful for you to take God’s name in vain. Yet, I realize and accept that you have the right to do that. But I won’t be ridiculous and think that just because you choose to do that means you will soon become an anarchist or begin burning down post offices. There’s no telling what you think about tattoos.

You are taking this waaay to seriously. This is called a rant, and is meant for the purpose of being as ridiculous and distraught as possible, while still making a point. Young people are disrespectful and self-obsessed, regardless of whether that is the fault of haircuts, but the point is moot-this blog is freaking hilarious-that’s what it’s for! In other words, take a chill-pill!

Don, I agree wholeheartedly. Crazy haircuts are certainly the merge lane on the super-highway to devilment. Just look at what the Beatles did. They came over here, got the kids wearing those stupid haircuts, and the next thing you know, they’re all smoking the refer, participating in sit-ins, and laying down with anything that possessed a hole and a heart beat. Then it got worse, Disco, bellbottoms, platform shoes, cocaine, bloods, crips, crack, assault rifles, where will it stop?

I’m one of those crazy youths with short, spiky and dark blue hair. Why is it that way? Well, when I meet someone for the first time, I don’t have to wear a white jacket with a red rose in the pocket to be recognised. When I stand in the mile long post office queue with the same expression of “kill me” as everybody else in the building, at least my hair is a little bit wild. Mind you, there was a little old lady with purple hair in front of me the other day. My guess would be that she wanted to hold on to that little bit of individuality.

I think that, as people become just another customer reference number they want to feel that little bit different from every other sheep out there. Perhaps the root of the problem lies in the impersonality of modern day society rather than the youth of today. Maybe we all just want to be able to walk into a shop and be recognised as a valued customer rather than just another addition to their profit margin.

I feel I need to warn you that the post office is the last place you want to wear a “kill me” expression. Sadly, at least in North American postal stations, there can be an element of self-fulfilling prophecy there.

And, while I’m sure you enjoy the blue hair, when the rogue postal carrier finally flips, you may NOT want to be drawing attention to yourself.

Just a little advice from an old man.

Beyond that, you seem like a sensible lass and I appreciate your taking the time to visit with me.

All the best and keep your head low and your eyes open in the post offices.

I’m from Scotland where the worst thing that can happen to you in a post office queue is that you die of starvation before reaching the front of the queue.

If you are right and i am one day targeted by a nut case, I will at least know that the news report will say “a 20 year old girl with amazing hair was gunned down today in a post office queue in the outskirts of Edinburgh. Police say that the rogue postal worker may have drawn his gun because he was jealous of the fact that the young lady’s spikes were perfectly placed”

Hope life’s treating you well Don and that those pesky youngsters aren’t annoying you too much.

The correct phrase is “getting your ears lowered” not “raised” you old Alzheimer crazed coot! I showed my Grandmother Lucille this site and she absolutely adores you. She tried sending you an email via our universal remote but ended up turning on our stoves. Long story short the whole east wing of the house went up in smoke and now she needs a place to live (as the east side was the side of the house the attic she inhabited was located). What do you say there pal? Shes a 4 foot 7 inch foxy blonde octogenarian, the only catch is that you have to refer to yourself as “Don Draper” not “Donald Mills”. She doesn’t mind being called Aggie if that helps.

Now, granted, I made a little gaffe there bcurletta but don’t be calling my faculties into question. Besides, I blame my personal support worker. I think she’s been stealing my cereal and it’s got me damned distracted. I opened a box of Bran Flakes Tuesday and it was empty when I went to pour a bowl this morning. There’s no way on earth I went through an entire box in 4 days. I’ll be watching her close I don’t mind telling you.

But, thanks lad, for spotting the mistake. And thanks for trying to set me up with Lucille but I’m a confirmed bachelor at this point in my life. She sounds like a firecracker though. Be good to her son.

If you want a good laugh Don you should see the kids come into basic with those haircuts. Seeing their eyes in just utter dissapointment when their crazy 50-100 dollar haircut gets chopped off with a pair of clippers. Although, I do envy those young kids with the hair to do those syles. I personally have been getting a bigger forehead every year. I just tell myself that its my bodies way of making room for more knowledge. I’m not a big comlainer of the hair styles. If it isn’t greasy and it looks taken care of I couldn’t care less, but looking repectable is always something that a kid needs to think about before he/she goes through with it. Ask yourself; Can I really get a Job with this?

I’m sorry Mr. Mills but I’ll have to go ahead and disagree with you on this one.
Crazy and disgusting haircuts have always existed and have never been exclusive to the younger demographic.

In my humble opinion, they depend much more on socio-economic class than they do on age. You don’t see the Ivy League kids wearing mohawks and green dye. It’s always been about class and education, not age.
I myself would never even think about getting one of those haircuts, simply because I want my workplace to be somewhere other than Wal-Mart.

That being said, there does seem to be a significant growth in the use of these “haircuts” (if you can even call them that), but truth be told, even if you’re young, there will always be people with education who will know better.

Well madlove, first you must understand that money does not necessarily equal class and education (as any rapper will clearly demonstrate), but the reality of it is, in general terms, people who are brought up in well educated families just don’t go out and get outrageous haircuts. Or any other form of excesive body modification, for that matter.
I didn’t mean to come off as an elitist at all, and I’m sure the rule does not apply to all cases, but madlove, those stereotypes exist for a reason.
I just felt the need to clarify that is has less to do with age than Mr. Mills suggests.

I like it that people like Mr. McConroe have ordinary haircuts. It makes it much easier to distinguish them from the interesting people. Not that ordinary hair makes one uninteresting, necessarily; it’s just an intriguing advertisement to have crazy hair. But to say that the under-educated are those who choose unusual hair indicates nothing more than living a very sheltered life.

I’m a chemist. I’ve shaved my head, had a mohawk, and have had more colors in it than I can remember. Normally, one anecdotal incident does not negate a stereotype. I’m just saying that the stereotype is shifting, so Don is correct. It’s more about being young-ish.

I wanted to say something funny, but now I’m all, what is this? Everyone is taking this all too seriously.

I agree. Strange hairstyles are just an indication of the the breakdown in the value system in America. Canary in the coal mine thingy. And what’s with guys going to beauty salons and “spas” to get a haircut? I’ll take a real barber shop any day, striped pole outside and the combs in the blue fluid. My barbers name is Norm, not Norma!

My grandmother is now a daily reader of your blog. I believe that you may have even inspired her to start her own blog, once I finish explaining what a blog is to her, but boy does she agree with every word you’re saying. Have a good one.

hey Don, (little wave)
Just wanted to let you no that i enjoyed reading your posts they say the best medicine is laughter and I feel im getting better all ready. I dont mean to disrespect you in anyway but i am one of those teenagers with a sweet hair cut. im currently 19 years old with 2 kids and I just got both of her names faded into my hair the other day. theres still a little bit of hair and i dyed the part that has there names pink and blue for both of my kids. Thought you would like to no that im being a responsible 19 year old father. I work had to give them everything they need (I sell some illegal substances) but my little boy his name is jacob he has a mohawk. Just keeping it real.
your A COOL man don. keep livin

It’s just a haircut.Somebody likes roses somebody loves tulips, people have different tastes in everything but that doesn’t define them as persons.You never judge a book by it’s covers.People are different.I have a crazy haircut , and I am young, but that doesn’t make me stupid.I don’t have a cazy haircut because I want to be special, I have it because I like it. I don’t care if somebody won’t like me, or gets offended by a trivial thing like a haircut, I don’t adjust to others because I don’t live for other people.Anyway,it’s just a silly thing to get upset about.

I think it’s humorous how much I disagree with you on every one of your posts. Without being disrespectful, I think you’ve become too fixated on what used to be, and need to keep an open mind to the citizens that will soon run the country when you are gone. Reading your opinion of what’s “wrong” with youth today makes me laugh, only because I imagine how intolerant you are of others. You forget that these “God damned young people” are human beings like yourself. If you grew up in the same environment that they did, you would be exactly the same…

Communists supported standard hair styles. So if those young people, whose hair choices you dislike so much, start practicing communism, they will all have to get hair cuts you are so fond of.
Mysteries of life…

I can’t stand kids today either, and I’m a kid! They’re always fighting each-other, drinking, cussing, getting babies and being sex-obsessed. I respect my mama and try very hard not to let her do anything that will strain her. I try a lot to repay my aunt when she buys me nice things, and I also try not to be too overbearing and ask for anything too expensive or out of our way. It upsets me to know how kids are these days. I wish they were more like me.

When I was a lad I was just grateful to have hair. Now that I no longer have any, looking back, I should have been a damn sight more grateful. These youngsters today engage in all kinds of tomfoolery designed to make us older folks pull out what hair we have left. It’s a conspiracy if you ask me, and those damn new age weirdos are behind it. Keep up the good work Don, and God bless you.

Just saw a crazy fauz hawk on a young person the other day! It was pink. Truly is one of the problems with young people today… You’d enjoy my photo blog, http://www.omgg.org
OMGG = Oh My Goodness Gracious!

My husband and I couldn’t believe our eyes when, during the late 90s, kids starting wearing Mo’s bowl cut from the Three Stooges. And to make it worse, our two son’s insisted on the cut. We now keep an old photo of their stooged heads on the piano for all to see.

First of all, fuck you. Don’t expect that just because the beauty of African hair is above your 90 year old boring ass that is jealous of the creativity of millineals and Z – Genners that everyone will have a boring haircut. Why would you want to look like everyone around you? Are you an ultra communist or something?