“NY Middle Finger Texas” Is Now Online, Just In Case You Really Hate Texas

July 18, 2013

On last night’s Daily Show, Lewis Black took down Texas Governor Rick Perry’s series of radio ads, which are aimed at luring companies away from all those shitty, freedom-hating states and down to Texas.

“Texas is calling?” Black asked. “Well, good thing I’ve got caller ID.” He then aired his response ad, which extols New York’s diversity, its sushi-on-pizza, and, most importantly, “the fact that it’s not Texas.” It ends with a lovely, multilingual “fuck you” to the Lone Star State. (If Rick Perry had any game whatsoever, he’d respond in kind. But since he’s essentially a broomstick covered in a light dusting of shoe polish and a shiny, shiny wig, we won’t hold our breath.)

This morning, as though dropped on our pillows by a tiny, Goodhair-hating sugar plum fairy, the Internet brought us NY Middle Finger TX. Tagline: “New York–Better Than Texas.” The dancing middle finger gifs really tie the whole thing together. Sadly, two minutes of research reveals that NY Middle Finger was registered by Viacom, aka Comedy Central’s parent company. That makes it slightly less funny.

In the interest of journalistic fairness, I sought out a Texan for a response. I knew better than to try to reach out to Rick Perry’s office, which in my two years of working in Texas never once managed to get to return my calls. He’s more of a blocking-journalists-on-Twitter kind of governor. I turned instead to a Texas ex-patriot, since there’s one living in my house.

‘The World Trade Center was conceived by vested interests, promoted by pressure groups, brought into being by a handful of powerful men for reasons of monetary gain or personal pressure, and indirectly subsidized by the taxpayer’