Bondage 101 Guide: Tactics

Pulling the Emergency Rope: Your Emergency Kit & What It Needs

One thing of paramount importance to any rigger is the issue of safety, and how it applies to you and your partner in bondage play.

Be aware that anything could happen.

In case of any accidents, you have to be prepared. Bondage play requires a level of safety and awareness that you don’t usually need in other kinds of play, and as the rigger, you must be prepared to be responsible should anything out of the ordinary occur.

You may think that this doesn’t apply to someone who only uses gentle and safe forms of bondage, but this isn’t true. Even in the case of a single hook tie, there’s the chance, no matter how small, that you could have a heart attack, or stumble and be knocked unconscious and unable to free your partner.

Your partner should be able to undo the ties herself.

If being able to release herself is an element she truly doesn’t want to have (as many subs do not), at least enable your partner to be able to call for help if she has to. Put a phone with at least two numbers of 911 dialed next to the bed, rig up an intercom, or set some sort of alarm timer to go off if no one has disabled it in a certain amount of time.

Have a safe word and a safe gesture.

Many people know the importance of safewords, but not everyone has heard of them before. A safeword is a word that your partner can say any time and for any reason that will end a scene immediately.

No matter what scene you’re currently playing, saying the safeword will end it immediately. The safeword is the submissive’s ace in the hole, their one and only power card in the most submissive of situations, and any Dominant who doesn’t make sure that a safeword exists or that their submissive is free to use it at any time is not worthy of a proper sub.

A safeword needs to be unrelated to the situation, no matter what situation may arise. Couples may set the safeword every time they play a scene, or they may always have a constant one that they use.

A safe gesture is less well-known, but also needs to exist in case there is any time at which the submissive’s mouth is not free to say the safeword. Some common safe gestures include holding a ball that can be dropped in case of stress, or having at least one hand free to snap twice.

Make sure you have talked about quick release ties.

Some partners will not be fond of quick-release ties. A good rigger and Dominant will be good at making sure your partner can still enjoy herself even if you’re using quick release ties.

These ties are the kind that bind your partner’s hands, wrists, ankles, etcetera, that your partner can quickly and easily untie by herself if she should feel the need, or if anything should happen to you.

We’ve said before that the most versatile and important tool for bondage you have is your brain. Make sure you’re making full use of it, and don’t forget that your partner needs to have a good time while being safe, and should be able to free herself if something happens to the person currently in charge of her health and safety—you.

Emergency scissors are also good to have.

If you’re not very practiced and skilled at tying quick-release knots, make sure to have emergency scissors nearby that are (ideally) accessible both to the rigger and the submissive. Also good to have are water and an emergency medical kit at the ready.

Never leave your partner alone and bound.

You may not get a drink of water. You may not use the toilet. You may not answer a phone call. A scene with your partner is the most intense and important thing you will do all day, and if you’re not fully committed to being a part of it, you’re going to be missing all the good parts—and you’re going to be endangering your partner.

Check on your partner often—during and after a scene.

You should not only be asking your partner how they feel, but more specific questions as well. For example, it’s important to ask your partner how their bound extremities or other body parts are feeling. Check the temperatures verbally and physically (with your hand).

If you feel coldness in your partner’s extremities or your partner reports feeling cold, release them immediately. If they say they aren’t feeling well, no matter if they’ve said the safe word or not, make sure to bring them down or release them. If you can do it with quick ties, you’ve saved yourself a rope. If not, cut the rope immediately.

It’s important to find partners who understand this very important aspect of bondage. Please follow our website recommendations for the best partners.