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Monday, May 17, 2010

A Weight Loss Story

Once upon a time there was a woman who wanted to lose 20 pounds in 2 weeks. She wanted to lose said 20 pounds while eating ice cream and lounging in her fuzzy pink robe, but the woman was told that her dreams were idiotic and that she needed to count calories, quit considering dessert the most important food group, and begin an exercise regime that involved sweat. The woman did not think diet and exercise sounded very awesome. She did not want to eat vegetables unless they were chocolate-covered, and she did not want to exercise unless she could do it while she was sleeping. The woman brainstormed some ideas on how to lose 20 pounds fast and came up with:

1. Liposuction2. Wrap herself in saran wrap to sweat the weight off3. Spend a few weeks shipwrecked with only water to drink4. Develop a severe case of stomach flu with a touch of diarrhea5. Swim across the Atlantic6. Become a drug addict7. Chop off her arms

The woman did not think those ideas were very ideal, so instead, she decided to lounge in her fuzzy, pink robe, eat ice cream, and pretend the unwanted 20 pounds disappeared overnight. She was an imaginative woman, so that worked just fine, and she lived happily ever after.

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Quotes from the Woods

"The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in from of a candle making shadows of people on a tree." -Stephen Wright

“Nothing is more beautiful than the loveliness of the woods before sunrise.” -George Washington Carver

"If a man walks in the woods for love of them half of each day, he is in danger of being regarded as a loafer. But if he spends his days as a speculator, shearing off those woods and making the earth bald before her time, he is deemed an industrious and enterprising citizen." -Henry David Thoreau

About Me

This is the random blog of a random girl. Pictures, stories, recipes--it's hard to tell what randomness might show up in this erratic woods. As you try to make sense of it all, you'll probably gather that I'm a stay-at-home mommy and am blessed with an awesome little boy, Colter, and my wonderful husband, John. At least you should gather that. Because I am.