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Cuckoo
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Leaving Sid with Belinda the family goes on holiday to Cumbria though only Ken and Lorna know that it is to find the man Belinda told Ken was his real father - though sadly he has recently died. Soon they are joined by Steve and Ben who have brought Mr Xi and Ling , just arrived from China and with an angry Mr Xi about to make Dale an offer he cannot refuse. Fortunately Ben comes up with a solution to please everybody and a car chase is followed by happy endings all round.
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It's the day of Lorna and Ken's baby Sid's naming ceremony and not only does Zoe bring her new boyfriend, annoying Dylan, but Ken's irritating mother Belinda arrives from Spain, building up Dale's romantic hopes for Ling with her tarot reading and causing Ken to crash the car. When Lorna gives Ken some shocking news regarding his mother he is prepared to change his attitude but it is Dale's performance at the ceremony which causes the biggest reaction.
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Having been dumped by girlfriend Zoe Dylan wants to drop out of university after a month so Ken and Dale head to the campus to dissuade him - and fail. However ken has to claim back the tuition fees - and also fails. Dale stumbles upon a reason to make Dylan stay, allowing Ken to relive his old student days - but not for long. Back home Rachel gets a visit from Ben, who is keen to resume their relationship.
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Ken wants a quiet family evening doing his favourite things on his birthday. Steve invites himself round and a simple quiz turns into an ordeal, with Dale recounting stories of a past life. Lorna and Rachel have their minds on other things.
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Assisted by Dale Ken is enjoying hosting the mother and baby group at his house but is forced to confess to Lorna that he was present when Jess's baby was born, whereupon Lorna demands that he leave the group. Ken is unwilling - until Jess makes a play for him, forcing him to leave her house in a hurry. Unfortunately this leads to a mix-up which requires Dale to sort it out, though he is less amenable when he sees Rachel with a man she has met through a dating agency.
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Tired of her old job Rachel decides to go for a post with the Pegasus Alliance and writes a heart-rending application but misses the deadline. Ken decides to approach Pegasus boss Nina in person but when this fails Dale, taking a leaf out of his Chinese gangster boss's book. kidnaps Nina. To get Dale off the hook Ken has to pass himself off as a fellow abductee with his children and Ben in masks demanding a supposed ransom. but when this idea collapses Rachel decides to make the whole ruse work in her favour. Dale is also offered a job - as nanny to the new baby.
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Lorna's baby is a week late but she also has a great new job lined up, meaning that Ken could be stuck with an unwanted paternity leave. Rachel is still seeing boring Ben so all three are delighted when Dale returns from China, fleeing an irate father. Dylan, his reluctant room-mate, is less enamoured. Lorna's labour is miraculously induced by some bizarre Eastern methods practiced by struck-off doctor Steve but at the hospital Ken almost misses the birth when he gets caught up with another pregnant woman, Jess - who fancies him.
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Whilst Christmas shopping Lorna faints in the street and, on her return home, discovers that she is pregnant. However, seeing the positive testing kit both Ben and Dale believe that Rachel is expecting and both assume that they are the father. At a pre-Christmas dinner Steve wins Connie back from her lover Pepe and Ben persuades a reluctant Ken to play Santa at a charity concert so that he too can take the stage and publicly propose to Rachel. It all goes ahead but everybody is shocked when Lorna, not Rachel, announces that she is the pregnant one (though Lorna is relieved to learn that Ken never had his vasectomy so that hers is not an immaculate conception.) Rachel accepts Ben's proposal but a love-sick, heart-broken Dale drives away into the night and Rachel is unable to stop him.
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Lorna wakes in the night to hear somebody trying to steal the family car but Ken refuses to intervene and Dale scares them off, making Ken feel old and inadequate. The family attends Steve's Neighbourhood Watch meeting where Ken is amused to see Dale trounce Steve in martial arts but a resident's car is stolen. Steve gives chase, with a reluctant Ken, leading to a fight and a misunderstanding though Lorna is proud of her man. Rachel also discovers that she prefers Dale to Ben.
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Ken's boss Charles announces his retirement, adding that he will be supporting Ken as his successor, rather than rival Jane. To scupper Jane's chances Ken takes CCTV footage of her robbing the stationery cupboard but the tape also shows Rachel and Ben having sex. Seeing Charles watching a tape and looking guilty Ken wrongly assumes that this is the sex tape and publicly uses this against Charles to secure his promotion. In the event it was a different tape but now Ken has exposed his daughter and her boyfriend's secret. Dylan is also exposed when it turns out that the poem he supposedly wrote to win a school prize is actually the lyric to the theme from 'Friends'.
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With Rachel and Ben away on holiday Ken takes Dale to a book-shop where they meet Ken's old tutor Dr Rafferty, who borrows a valuable first edition from Ken, Unfortunately he dies before he can return it so Ken takes the family to the funeral to retrieve it. The relatives take to Dale, despite his bizarre funeral oration, as they wrongly believe he is the doctor's American lover. However Rafferty's niece Sandra is irate when she catches Ken trying to steal his book back, nor does it help when the family discovers that Dale is not the lover and Dylan is caught having sex with Sandra's virginal daughter, leading to the family's expulsion from the occasion.
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After finding a nude Dale in bed with them Ben and Rachel aim to set him up with one of her friends, Natalie, who finds him gorgeous and fascinating. They date but nothing happens as Dale does not believe she is the Special One. Medic Steve is facing a tribunal for gross misconduct and blackmails Ken into representing him or else he will tell Lorna the vasectomy never went ahead. Unfortunately Ken has ingested some drugs and acts very oddly at the hearing, his boss Charles taking over and winning the case.
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Ken is going away for a reunion weekend and Dylan persuades Lorna to go to the theatre with Connie so he can throw a party and lose his virginity to girlfriend Zoe, Connie's daughter. Dale has decided that his destiny is to take over Cuckoo's potato wagon so Dylan asks him to provide food for the party. Dale is a wow with the girls, including Rachel, and the food he serves up with its special sauce is a hit. Unfortunately the sauce, which he found in the garage, is well past its sell-by date and by the time Connie turns up with Lorna in tow to stop her daughter having sex all the party-goers are throwing up.
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Two years after learning that Cuckoo died in a climbing accident in the Himalayas Ken is celebrating the fact that Dylan will be leaving home to attend university and Rachel moving in with staid boyfriend Ben. He is less overjoyed when Lorna suggests he has a vasectomy. Then Dale Ashbrick, a hirsute American youngster, arrives at the house, claiming to be Cuckoo's son, searching for the father he has never met. Like his father he is odd, believing that aliens will end the world next day. However he is wrong and, to the menfolk's annoyance, Lorna and Rachel ask him to stay.
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Rachel and Cuckoo learn that their Thai marriage ceremony was not legal and plan another wedding in England. Steve,angry that Connie has gone off on a singing tour,offers to help Ken sabotage the nuptials by being best man and,along with Dylan,they take Cuckoo for a stag night,aiming to get him drunk and film him snogging a prostitute,Rachel getting to see the result,but Ken loses heart for revenge when Cuckoo tells him how he loves him and the family. Ken even thwarts Steve's plan to get Cuckoo shipped abroad in a crate and,come the big day,is happy to give his daughter away and act as best man at the same time.
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Ken is annoyed when Lorna asks Steve and Connie for dinner on their wedding anniversary,the more so when Cuckoo encourages Connie in her desire to be a singer,even though she is awful. Following a row with Steve Connie moves in with the Thompsons to general inconvenience. Nonetheless when Cuckoo gets Connie a job singing at Alexandro's Pizza Palace Ken persuades Stve to support her but even he is surprised by her performance.
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The family goes to visit Lorna's father Tony for his birthday. Finding that he has taken in a stray cat,Floxie,Cuckoo tells Tony he is certain Floxie is the reincarnation of his late wife and Tony happily agrees. Unfortunately Ken has an accident with Tony's rifle and unwittingly shoots and kills Floxie. With Dylan's help he attempts to hide the evidence but inevitably and inadvertently he is exposed by Cuckoo.
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Ken's hopes of being accepted on the council are minimised when Dylan beats up Neil,son of leading Liberal Democrat Nina. At Lorna's suggestion Ken agrees to a bonding evening with Cuckoo. It begins badly but,after Ken has taken what he believes are pain-killers for his bad back but are actually Ecstasy tablets a bizarre evening follows with Ken and Cuckoo,both high as kites,gate-crashing a party where they save Dylan from reprisals by Neil. A disastrous encounter with Nina,however,dashes all hopes of a political career for Ken.
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After finding a nude Cuckoo meditating on the kitchen work-top Ken calls a family meeting to air matters. This leads to Cuckoo asking him to remove his books on Nazis from the study but,when this is put to the vote,Ken needs Dylan on his side,so he bribes him by persuading Zoe,whom Dylan wants to date,to Rachel's home-coming party. Things do not go to plan when Zoe's parents,Steve and Connie,find pictures of Zoe in a swim-suit in Ken's camera and it's left to Cuckoo to bail Ken out.
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When Ken and Lorna Thompson welcome daughter Rachel home after her gap year they are not expecting her to have secretly married,and are introduced to her husband,Cuckoo. Cuckoo is a hippy who has no apparent desire to work and who spouts mystical clap-trap about his many journeys,both physical and spiritual. Lorna is flattered by him but Ken and son Dylan are unimpressed and Ken tries to bribe Cuckoo to go away. However,when Cuckoo reappears having spent the money on a van from which he plans to sell jacket potatoes Ken has to pretend that this had been his intention in paying Cuckoo all along.
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