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What is your chief characteristic?
I’ve been told I’m funny, but I don’t believe it.

What do you appreciate most about your friends?
They have been able to withstand years of my stupid jokes and bad advice.

Who is your favorite fiction character?
Tie: Thor and Conan the Barbarian

Who is your favorite non-fiction character?
Arnold Schwarzenegger. Although he has been on the bad side of the news lately, he represents the American Dream to the fullest and reminds us that anything is possible through hard work and dedication. If you want it, earn it.

What is the best thing you have ever won?
My wife and kids. The best prize a guy like me could hope to receive.

What is the worst idea you’ve ever had?
Creating a Facebook page. Those things are nothing but trouble.

Which talent would you most like to have?
I wish I could shred on the guitar. I’ve been playing for 16 years and I’m terrible.

What movie do you love to watch repeatedly?
That’s a tough one. I’d say “Rolling Kansas” or “Big Trouble in Little China.”

What was your most embarrassing moment?
I went to an open mic comedy show at Play. What was supposed to be five comics turned into 12, and I was last. By the time I went on, well after midnight on a Monday, people weren’t much in the mood for comedy, so it was pure crickets in there. And since I had a few too many beers before hitting the stage, I cursed them for pretentious weirdos and broke out.

What TV show is your guilty pleasure?
“Man vs. Food.” Team Adam!

What is the last book you read?
“Darkly Dreaming Dexter.” I love the show, so I had to check out the books.

What is your theme song?
“Rock Hard, Ride Free” by Judas Priest. Either that or “You’re the Best Around” (Theme From Karate Kid) by Joe Esposito.