tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-187020532015-02-25T01:53:03.410-06:00What Makes Narcissists TickAbout the malignant narcissism of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Explains why narcissists behave the way they do - viewing others as prey to treat like dirt or tear down in order to prop up their delusions of superiority. Share your insights and everyday examples of narcissistic behavior.Kathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10159241410692201321noreply@blogger.comBlogger338125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18702053.post-61738663318490369132008-04-15T09:29:00.005-06:002008-04-15T09:55:23.294-06:00Playing it Safe on the WebI'm sure most of you know this, but for those new to the subject, here is some practical advice.For people as self-absorbed and seemingly uninterested in you as malignant narcissists are, they are very snoopy. They go through your drawers and papers. They are looking for dirt, and they are trying to find out if you're on to them. Hence, like all abusers, they often spy on and stalk their Kathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10159241410692201321noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18702053.post-3529908490182906562008-04-14T09:54:00.005-06:002008-04-14T10:36:00.962-06:00A Malignant Narcissist's Shock TacticsOne of the most glaring outward signs of malignant narcissism is the way narcissists malign others. They are constantly improving their own image at someone else's expense.Another very red flag is perverted reactions to things. This red flag can't be missed, because it's downright shocking. But you witness it infrequently, and it's so perplexing that people unfailingly disbelieve their very eyes Kathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10159241410692201321noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18702053.post-79366613741047378402008-04-11T10:23:00.006-06:002008-04-11T13:54:55.018-06:00Blaming the Victim of NarcissismThe first thing the victims of narcissists need to know is that they are not to blame. Not one bit.In other words, he didn't get mad because dinner was was late. She didn't blow up because you are "too this" or "too that." You didn't "ask for it" by speaking up and saying that you deserved some attention and respect.The narcissist attacked you just because you are there, period. Don't you have a Kathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10159241410692201321noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18702053.post-51815880630485657862008-04-10T12:40:00.005-06:002008-04-10T13:03:46.650-06:00Narcissism: Vandalizing the Images of Other PeopleTo create the work of art that is their grandiose false image, narcissists often cheat. That is, they don't make themselves seem great when they can get away with just making themselves look better than others the easy way = by comparison = by making others look bad.This is why every malignant narcissist is also a character assassin. His or her line is "I'm good because So-and-So is bad." (Sound Kathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10159241410692201321noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18702053.post-46935982724797853982008-04-04T22:30:00.000-06:002008-04-04T22:52:58.578-06:00More on Whether Narcissists Are HappyContinuing with this discussion about whether narcissists are happy and when their happiness leaves them.For example, I know a narcissist who turned viciously on her sister and parents within weeks of moving away to college. She tried to get herself adopted by the wealthy people who owned a college bar and restaurant she worked at. She told the cadre of students who belonged to that place Kathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10159241410692201321noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18702053.post-71110201140698400342008-04-03T09:09:00.003-06:002008-04-03T11:08:28.706-06:00Are Narcissists Unhappy?The discussion at the post Cruel and Unusual Punishment took an ironic turn that you might like to check out.To briefly summarize:The post pointed out how narcissists suffer when they are alone. This happens when their sources of narcissistic supply dry up and they can't find another host. No mirrors, no mirage of a false self to identify with . . . they cannot keep unwanted knowledge and Kathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10159241410692201321noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18702053.post-89956264155484222612008-04-02T14:43:00.003-06:002008-04-02T14:53:53.771-06:00Technical ProblemsWe are experiencing spring floods, which raise the high water table (because they have filled in too much marshland for parks) and apparantly cause problems with the phone lines. Even voice communications are scratchy at times. Connection to the Internet is unreliable. And, for much of the day, I am stuck on a dial-up connection.So, please understand if your comments are not moderated quickly andKathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10159241410692201321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18702053.post-44687560241455702842008-03-31T14:08:00.002-06:002008-03-31T14:15:54.983-06:00Everyone's Deepest fearA narcissist I knew found herself taking a Basic Studies course, Speech 101, during her sixth year of college (when her mother finally forced her to graduate).She told me that the other students (freshmen and sophomores) were naive. That they took things for granted and — well, it sounded like she was saying they thought life a piece of cake. Kinda like the American Dream: if you do your best, doKathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10159241410692201321noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18702053.post-20556626501581320102008-03-27T10:26:00.006-06:002008-03-27T11:35:21.715-06:00The Poor Narcissist Feels ThreatenedLet's take a look at this line that narcissists aren't really bad, that they lash out at you because they feel "threatened."This idea begs the question "Threatened in what way?" and "Threatened by what?"If you're the victim of a narcissist, you know that this "threatened" excuse is a farce, because the narcissist attacks precisely when you are anti-threatening him or her. Like when you are tryingKathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10159241410692201321noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18702053.post-22019459439039331212008-03-25T07:26:00.002-06:002008-03-25T07:42:04.890-06:00Cruel and Unusual PunishmentSometimes I think that the worst torture one could devise for these freaks would be to lock them in a room all alone for about three days. After about an hour, they would probably have their socks on their hands like puppets, just to have someone to lie to.Anonymous @ 6:44Technorati Tags:narcissistic personality disorder narcissismKathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10159241410692201321noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18702053.post-4316254138700629932008-03-22T10:10:00.009-06:002008-03-22T14:10:37.347-06:00The Obduracy of Malignant NarcissismNarcissistic personality disorder is aptly characterized as a "disorder of the self." That's because the narcissist can't stand his or her self. But instead of reforming the true self, narcissists cheat. They just project a false image of their self.And the first person they tell this lie to is themselves. It's just a stupid mental game (of self-delusion) that anyone could play. They believe the Kathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10159241410692201321noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18702053.post-89866006259348239512008-03-19T10:12:00.006-06:002008-03-22T05:06:10.722-06:00Pathologizing and Treating the Victim Instead of the NarcissistWhen confronted with the facts about the mental healthcare industry, many people are justifiably skeptical, asking, "Now why would they do that?"That's a fair question, because the answer isn't obvious. This post will explain what is going on.Let's say that you are a psychiatrist, psychologist, or other clinical therapist. While you're hanging out your shingle, you're thinking, "I wonder how manyKathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10159241410692201321noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18702053.post-37106595154198357202008-03-18T14:39:00.010-06:002008-03-18T19:38:31.205-06:00The Rat GameIn a psychological experiment, you can take a bunch of lab rats, put them in a cage, and equip it with a button that delivers a treat when they push it.You know what happens: soon those rats will learn to push it like crazy.Then alter the button so it sometimes delivers a painful electric shock instead of a treat. Those rats still keep pushing it. Then alter the button some more, so that it oftenKathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10159241410692201321noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18702053.post-91185056717215567412008-03-16T13:44:00.011-06:002008-03-16T23:45:57.926-06:00Does Codependency Therapy Help or Hurt?It seems to me that the adult children of narcissists who learn of NPD and then go through the natural process of dealing with this stunning revelation fare better than those who get involved in codependency therapy.You are at first enormously relieved, because your instincts were right and the brainwashing was wrong: it wasn't your fault, and you weren't the defective one. But then come the Kathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10159241410692201321noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18702053.post-43062626076215551682008-03-15T08:47:00.013-06:002008-03-15T22:00:49.267-06:00"Responsibility" Wrap: Narcissist Hurts You to Make YOU Guilty of the Sin of Feeling the PainRemember when you were a child and you used to say that "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me"?Even little children instinctively know enough to hide their pain when someone has hurt their feelings. This instinct is good, even when the enemy isn't really an enemy - just a friendly opponent in a tennis match. Don't let the emotional effect on you of bad things show. Kathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10159241410692201321noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18702053.post-15989885974724144722008-03-14T12:53:00.006-06:002008-03-15T11:42:07.934-06:002nd Banality of Sounding Smart AwardThis deserves another Banality of Sounding Smart Award.First, the facts: The Guardian, Wednesday March 21 2007: A "sadistic" foster mother was found guilty yesterday of subjecting three children in her care to a horrifying catalogue of physical and mental abuse over 20 years.Eunice Spry, 62, beat the children with sticks and metal bars, scrubbed their skin with sandpaper and forced them to eat Kathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10159241410692201321noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18702053.post-3507129304277547432008-03-14T11:28:00.005-06:002008-03-15T11:42:07.935-06:00Update on CodependenceA additional note on the previous post.Do check out the links at the end. One thing they show is that codependence theory started out sensibly as the realization among the family members of alcoholics that their behavior "enabled" the alcoholic.We all likewise see how our behavior enabled our abusers until we caught on.The problem with this idea came with pseudoscience. You get a bunch of Kathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10159241410692201321noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18702053.post-61168551181923748252008-03-14T00:04:00.003-06:002008-03-15T11:46:32.912-06:00Nonsense Check on CodependenceThe preachers of codependence say that you are to blame for how the narcissist's abuse makes you feel. They say that no one can make you feel anything. That if you feel bad about abuse, it's your fault. Specifically, you lack self-esteem. Shame on you. That makes you a victim. And it's bad to be a victim.If that isn't blaming the victim, I don't know what is. I ran across this example on the web:Kathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10159241410692201321noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18702053.post-54394025116324379642008-03-13T12:08:00.005-06:002008-03-13T12:39:30.707-06:00Doing Justice to the Normal Children of NarcissistsAs I mentioned before, I am the child of a malignant narcissist. Now, can I have a sister of nearly the same age who is a malignant narcissist? Of course. But how could that ever happen if conventional wisdom is correct?Indeed, if having a parent with NPD causes NPD, how can there be so many normal children of narcissists?I think it's about time us normal children of narcissists demand our due. IKathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10159241410692201321noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18702053.post-69142054825013571742008-03-13T04:20:00.004-06:002008-03-15T12:34:29.312-06:00"Understanding" the EvildoerAnna Valerious at Narcissists Suck in Angry with a Narcissist? Read On..." You don't have read much of Sam Vaknin's fanciful ideas of what creates a narcissist to see how he relieves himself of responsibility for what he is by his explanations. Mother, society, genetics, abuse, neglect. Never is Sam Vaknin ultimately to blame for choosing to be a parasitic life form. Because he feels he can Kathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10159241410692201321noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18702053.post-38715181169007982442008-03-11T13:37:00.004-06:002008-03-11T13:56:54.907-06:00Narcissists and ConflictOne simple but easy-to-forget thing about narcissists is that, unlike normal people, they don't mind conflict. They enjoy it. Conflict makes normal people uncomfortable. We try to minimize it in our dealings with others. Oddly, we love it in fiction (Conflict is the gunpowder of fiction, and it's near relative - controversy - is the gunpowder of journalism. Maintaining constant conflict is the Kathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10159241410692201321noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18702053.post-14440498103664524862008-03-09T09:07:00.008-06:002008-03-09T21:25:21.640-06:00Malignant Narcissism and EvilThere's much ink wasted on the subject of whether narcissists are evil.Well, yes, obviously they are. But they don't fit our traditional concept of the evil.In our traditional concept, the evil one is evil because he loves evil and wants to be evil. He does evil for its own sake, just to do evil.Narcissists aren't like that. They do evil for the same reason an alcoholic takes a drink - because itKathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10159241410692201321noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18702053.post-2692966871080909052008-03-08T12:00:00.002-06:002008-03-08T20:05:58.163-06:00The Myths about NPDIt harms the victims to tell them that narcissists are victims "suffering" from the disease, that they don't mean to hurt people, that they feel bad about it, that they are just touchy and lash out only when they feel "threatened" by you ... that it would be mean to abandon or shun them, that they aren't responsible for what they do, that it's genetic, that it's abnormal brain chemistry, that Kathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10159241410692201321noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18702053.post-28141873398278006642008-03-08T08:52:00.003-06:002008-03-08T09:02:44.198-06:00Character Study of a Malignant NarcissistA political psychologist, Maria Hsia Chang, has looked into NPD and done a study on a Harry Potter character, Voldemort. You can see it on this website for fans and writers of fantasy fiction.A Study in Evil: Voldemort, the Malignant NarcissistTechnorati Tags:narcissistic personality disorder narcissismKathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10159241410692201321noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18702053.post-70122219597332137712008-03-06T14:03:00.004-06:002008-03-07T09:06:57.505-06:00Cure for independent-thinking-related mental-health disorders!Audaceous hope via The Onion:"Many individuals today lack the deep, abiding affection for drug makers that is found in healthy people, such as myself," Pfizer CEO Hank McKinnell said. "These tragic disorders are reaching epidemic levels, and as a company dedicated to promoting the health, well-being, and long life of our company's public image, it was imperative that we did something to combat Kathyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10159241410692201321noreply@blogger.com8