Question

What will people think of my toddler's bumps and bruises?

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My 15-month-old is always falling over and getting bruises -- recently he's gotten two big bumps on his head and even a black eye. I try to keep him safe but I don't want to discourage him from exploring and playing. I'm also worried that doctors at the hospital and people who see us out in public think I'm mistreating him. What can I do?

Mom Answers

I've got three sons! I can relate! I think most people who work with toddlers know that children get hurt and don't make a big deal of it. They look for more than just one sign beforing crying "abuse!" All little toddlers get their share of bumps and bruises and scrapes. Others are usually quite sympathetic without pointing fingers.

Wanted to say 2 things:
1. My 17 month old is the same. Thats what toddlers to, investigate, climb, fall, bruise, & climb some more. Don't make excuses, just be honest and try to remember that people are just being concerned.
2. People on this particular board are so sympathetic and supportive I think its wonderful! Sometimes people get defensive or downright nasty with touchy subjects~this being one of them~and of the 15+posts I read everyone is being kind, logical, empathatic, and helpful. Give yourselves a hand.

i worry about the same thing. my boy recently became obsessed with looking at the ceilings in restaurants, which is fine until he brings his head back forward and rams his cheek into the table giving himself a black eye! (we learned pretty quickly to use our arms as table guards when we see him practicing this).
my personal opinion is that you should not make too big a deal of it when you go to the doctors. obviously, if the injury is something you're concerned about you'll want to mention it and you can explain if the doc asks, but if someone goes on and on about something (eg-"can you believe he gets all these bruises at daycare... i think he's an easy bruiser... he must have kicked himself in the middle of the night") that would send up a red flag to me. if you're not doing anything wrong and you're doing the best you can to keep him out of harms way while not inhibiting him then you have nothing to fear. thats what i keep repeating to myself anytime i imagine that someone is staring at my son's bruised legs.

I don't have any real advice, just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone! Recently my little guy fell and got a black eye and the looks people gave me when we went out shopping...someone actually asked me what happened!
I tried to keep a sense of humor about it, and dressed him in a shirt that says, "I do all my own stunts"!!

I have that same fear. My dd is 21 months old and has had more than her share of scrapes. Her most recent was tripping into a pointed ridge on my dresser, which resulted in a quarter sized bump with a cut through the center, all right in the very center of her forehead. There was some bleeding, and we are learning the joys of band aids, but we didn't even go to the doctor with this. I have learned the signals to look for with head injuries (bump goes out, not in, the crying does not last more than 10 minutes, pupils same size and react to light). I have called the doctors office so many times with other injuries, that now I am a pro, I don't freak anymore either. People will comment with things like "oh poor baby, what in the world happened" and if I tell them they respond with things like "what was she doing that for?" and "didn't you see her". Of course those are strangers who do not know me or my child. The staff at the pediatrician's office know us and kids, so they know kids are rambunctious, and they will get hurt, I think they understand accidental wounds and intentional ones. You just have to keep your faith in yourself and not let anyone get you caught up in the worry of what people will think. I know this now, and will be sure to keep in mind when my even wilder ds (8 months) starts walking.

First i think you should talk to you childs doctor to make sure that there is nothing wrong with your childs balance. also it all depands on how careful you are actually being with the child for example letting him run around with socks on tile flooring, or trying to rearrange furniture while the child is around to play. you will not discouarge him by setting certain boundries it is for his own good.

my son is the same way he fell off our back step which is concrete and got huge scrapes and cuts all over his face he was pushed down at daycare and got another huge scrape under his nose he is always scratching his face because he hates having his nails cut he fell at daycare and hit his head on the very sharp corner of a shelf they had and i had to take him to the er he also falls sometimes and gets bruises and people stare and im sure talk about us behind our backs but i sometimes worry that they too are going to report us to cps and you know what i finally just say to myself is let them then they can ask anybody or come to our house and do any exam or whatever they feel needs to be done and then they are going to look like the biggest fool for assuming that a toddler is being beat or abused because of some scrape or bruise as long as you know that its because of some accident people will see that too if someone was beating their child they act completely different so dont be worried and when people asked what happened to my son unless it was family or friends i just said he fell and then they would start in with a story of how there child did the same so yours isnt the only one that falls and gets hurt

If you've done all you can to toddler-proof your home, then there's not much else you can do. Doctors are trained to recognize abuse. They know what types of injuries are common in those cases, and what they look like (i.e. a spiral fracture comes from their arm being twisted severely, which is abuse). If the other people are parents, then they understand what toddlers are like.
Not saying you do this, but it is worse if you don't get proper medical care for your child because you are concerned about what they think. That would be considered neglect. Again, it doesn't sound at all that you are like that so you should be fine. If they have any concerns, they may do a home study, but that's nothing to be nervous about, and they'll likely only do it if something in your story doesn't sit right with them or is contradictory. Just be honest and open and you shouldn't have any problems.
You babyproof and watch them as much as possible, but the nature of toddlers is that they get hurt a lot.

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