Last year, I took these beauties to "Antiques Roadshow". Their expert appraiser informed me they're a priceless, matched pair of one-of-a-kind 18th-Century "Titzelglasz" tart jugs, made in the factory of the noted Dutch avant-garde craft-artist Hans von Boubentwirker. Last week I was a little light on dope money, so I went to Rick Harrison's and pawned them. For all I know, the skinny slut modeling them could be one of Chumlee's sisters.