Wednesday, October 24, 2012

iExamen 2

iExamen
2

I chose to do my second iExamen
experience on Saturday, October 20th when I was at home for fall
break. Being home presented a wonderful opportunity for me to challenge myself
with regard to the exercise pertaining to self-observation. I was very blessed to be with my family on
this day to celebrate my dad’s birthday.
Having been away from home since August 30th, I knew that I
would be engaged in conversation with family and friends, allowing me to test
myself by voicing thoughts and words that were kind, useful and true.
Going into this project, I assumed that it would be very difficult for me to
only say what is kind, useful, and true to anyone that I interacted with because,
it is not always easy for me to keep my emotions in check. However, I would endeavor to be as warm and cordial as possible
taking steps to stifle my sometimes sarcastic and insulting self. The joy of seeing people that I love and
missed while away from home will lighten my load but I do have a tendency to
stray from sweet to sour in a moment.

Much
to my surprise, I was easily able to communicate with family, friends, and
others by meeting all three conditions.
My loved ones and I missed each other terribly, so it was not difficult
to approach them in a cheerful manner with positive conversations. Without a doubt, my mother was the one person
that was completely shocked with my new form of communication since we do have
our arguments from time to time. Mom
let me sleep late Saturday and I awoke to the smell of bacon cooking on the
stove, one of my favorite breakfast treats.
She told me how happy she was that I was home and I knew that she wanted
to please me. I kissed her good morning
then spent the next few minutes raving about the breakfast she had prepared and
how much I missed her cooking while away at Loyola. The words were pleasing to her ears,
absolutely truthful and useful in reassuring Mom just how much I loved and
missed her. It was the perfect way to
begin my iExamen Saturday and I felt good about myself while at the same time
enjoying the smile on Mom’s face. I soon
recognized that I take a lot for granted, Mom’s love, her great cooking, a
wonderful family life and a great educational opportunity at Loyola. It is a certainty that I should spend more
time saying thank you than I have in the past.

Dad was also a
primary target of my effort to be sweet and cordial and I knew that he was
experiencing separation anxiety about my being in Baltimore. He is a retired police chief, sometimes stern
but always loving and it was easy to put a smile on his face. Most of his concerns were about my personal
safety at Loyola, how I was handling being away from home and my academic
performance. He was elated when I told him how comfortable I was at Loyola, how
many new friends I had made and that my grades were something in which I took
pride. Those words, truthful and
delivered in a kind and loving matter, brought a smile to his face, a sparkle
to his eyes and a loving embrace. My
father told me how proud of me he was and that he was always bragging to his
friends of my accomplishments. I could easily
see that my conversation with Dad made him happy, and his separation anxiety was
relieved a bit and that made me happy as well.

Another
conversation between a nephew and I brought a warm feeling to my heart and a
sense of having said and done something kind.
He has been troubled with a weight problem for most of his life and a
few years ago had weight-loss surgery to correct the condition. After a brief loss of weight, he returned to
the previous condition, suffering all the verbal abuse and teasing to which overweight
people are exposed. Recently he began a
new program aimed at losing weight and I was surprised at how much he had
changed since my departure in August. I
immediately complimented him on how great he looked, showering him with words
of praise and encouragement. The smile
on his face and his eagerness to discuss the new program told me just how much
he appreciated my comments. I know that
my words had a positive effect on how he felt about himself and that makes me
feel better about myself.

Communicating
along these lines does help me to see clearly the perspectives of other
people. I should always reflect how
imperative it is that I constantly treat people with kindness and respect. However, this form of communication could
hinder me as well because sometimes in order to be honest with myself, things
that I say might not always be kind, useful, and true. If I constantly say things strictly to appeal
to the feelings of others, but do not express how I truly feel then I am not
being my own person. Nevertheless, I
will attempt to seek out the good in others and comment on those positives in a
kind way avoiding confrontation, embarrassment and ridicule. From self-awareness, I have realized that it
is important to show how I really feel, but saying kind, useful, and true
things can be beneficial to my relationships with people. I have learned not to let negativity affect
how I communicate with other people.

The
feeling of elation I experienced resulting from my choice of words being
cordial, kind, true and useful is one I will cherish for some time. It was not an easy task since I am prone to teasing
and joking but with some effort, I was able to make those around me smile and
seemingly feel better about themselves. A
particular joy resulted from knowing how much my behavior pleased my parents
who missed me as much as I missed them. I
consider myself a better person having gone through this exercise than I was
before taking it on and I hope to continue to improve on that. Constantly being caring and sensitive in my
choice of words will not come without a strong commitment on my part but I am willing
to make the effort.