Roger’s a hard act to follow, but I’ll rise to the challenge and cast some words out there for crewing on C2K. Five’s the minimum number of tips you’re supposed to give and still be credible, so here goes.

1. Aussie police have some really, really dumb ideas generally, and they reach something of an annual pinnacle in the C2K. But, here’s the rub — C2K is not the place for civil disobediance. Paul and Diane have made the rules they have to: follow them. Simple as that. To the letter. You like the race, so don’t be part of it being cancelled. Follow the rules. And the general road rules, too — especially try not to run anyone over. There was that time ….2. Plan your meals. Seriously, take some time to have lunch and dinner: your runner won’t mind you being stationary for a while: get out the car, set up a table, eat a proper meal. It gives you a break and ensures you eat properly. Also, I’m going to come around and take videos of you fighting off the flies as you eat.3. They’re going to be awake the whole time, so the least you can do is make sure you’re alive for the whole time. Monitor yourself, and take naps when you need them: don’t listen to others about sleep, don’t compete about sleep. Be awake.4. Swallow, don’t spit. It’s a long way, a long time, and a small space for crew and runner: lots of chance to get really shitty. If you’re getting shitty, don’t spit at anyone, just swallow it and get on. It’s not about you, and it’s not about the asshole who’s pissing you off.5. This is a unique race, put on by a unique couple in Paul and Diane. Get into the spirit: we’re all C2K family, and we’re all out there together to enjoy it. Be nice.6. There’s not supposed to be six are there …?