Are You Wifey Or Are You Pussy?

How do you keep a man? The Ratchet answer would be to give him the best ass he’s ever had. But those who think that are single and currently figuring out what dress to wear to the club this weekend. Women who have locked down men, and I’m not talking about 6 months, I’m talking years, those women brought something to the table much more powerful than good sex.

You think you’re pretty, you think you’re smart, I bet you think you’re the most interesting woman on the planet right? But how do men view you? I’m not talking about does he turn and look when you walk by, let’s go deeper than the physical bullshit girls use as a crutch. Does he think you’re smart? Does he find you interesting? Are you classy in his mind or just another basic broad he’s ran through? Take a moment to think about the last dude you were seriously involved with. What did he like most about you? If it was something like “My smile” or “The way I rode it” you have a serious problem. Are you the type of woman he can spend all day talking to and has a connection deeper than the physical attraction or are you simply Pussy? And by Pussy I mean your only value to that man is to satisfy his physical needs. Your job is to make him cum. Pussy isn’t just the hoe or the slut, it’s also the girlfriend who we have no intention of marrying or keeping around past a year. Men love pussy, but we do not marry Pussy. A man may show Pussy off to his friends. He might buy Pussy gifts. Occasionally Pussy gets to come out of the house and get treated to dinner. Pussy even gets pregnant and becomes the Baby Mama. But he NEVER EVER marries Pussy. All men see women as Pussy initially, but after a few conversations we can decide if she’s more.

Are you the type hewifes or are you just the pussy?

Does he take you out? Stop being the drive thru hoe. Yeah he’s on hard times, his pockets aren’t built like that, but guess what? That nigga has money to buy a $59.99 PS3 game; he can scrape up a few dollars to take you to a restaurant that doesn’t have pictures on the menu. Your homgirls are single and fine dining and you’re taking Wing Stop to go, you’re not winning because you have a man, you’re losing because you have a man who keeps your dumb ass on Dracula duty, buried in the crib, only coming out when it’s time to buy condoms and Dutch masters.

Have you met his family? I’m not talking about his boys at the smoke house who he chills with and you happen to tag along. Has his mother laid eyes on you? I remember sneaking this girl into my mother’s house and she caught me. I was pissed because this girl was dumb as a brick, and my mother is nosey. My mother asked how she was doing and the bitch stood there as if she were asked to name elements from the periodic table. For years she joked me about the “retarded chinky eyed girl”. If he’s feeling you, you’ll meet the people who are most important to him. Being in the car and waving “hi” or seeing someone for a minute isn’t an introduction. Stop being smuggled hoe!

What do you talk about? “We spend all night on the phone talking, we have so much in common”, Bitch please. Do you know how many hours I’ve spent on the phone with girls who I couldn’t stand? I’ve stayed up until 6am more times than I can count, and it wasn’t because the girl was interesting, it was because I wanted what she had and was putting in work. Take away the gossip, the TV show talk, and the sexual flirting; what the fuck did I talk to you about? We both like the same colors… wow. We both randomly know Chauncey the stick up boy… incredible. Spending twenty minutes saying “Did You Miss Me” and having a back and forth on who missed who gets played. The number one question a man wants to know, “When can I see you”. Why? Because you’re Pussy and we can’t get Pussy over the phone.

Are You Jeopardy Girl or Family Feud Girl? You’re not the brightest, you can tie your shoe and put your hair into a bun, but that’s where your genius ends. Stop pretending as if you visit CNN.com before you visit mediatakeout.com. It’s okay to be into basic shit, but be able to put together a sentence. If I say, “So why didn’t you like Black Swan” don’t come at me with, “That was some white people shit”. That’s not a movie review, that’s a woman with poor analytical skills who tuned out as soon as she realized this wasn’t a comedy. There are more important things than who Chris Brown is fucking. If I wanted to date a woman with the life experience of a 17 year old I would have become a gym teacher or a stepfather. Stop being afraid to ask questions, research things you don’t understand, have a desire to be the best dressed at the party and the most interesting.

If a man won’t commit then he sees you as Pussy. You were in a relationship for 3 months, and he started acting funny… Did you really break up with him or did he sabotage the relationship after your Pussy expired? Yes, pussy has an expiration date. It expires exactly 3-4 months after we first hit it. The more you smash the faster it expires. It’s not milk, you can continue to hit pussy after it’s long expired, people are married and love hitting expired pussy, it still feels good. But it will never be at the height it was when it was considered new pussy. As a wise man once said, “There’s no pussy like new pussy, and that’s how a nigga feel”. Being extra freaky or dating during the winter months may buy you an extra two months of that new pussy smell, but that’s it. No matter If it lasts 4 months or 6 months, the man will show signs of cabin fever because you don’t have anything real that keeps him tied to you. This man didn’t suddenly become an asshole, that’s not the real reason you’re arguing after months of lovey dovey shit, he’s tired of your pussy and he’s ready to move on to the next girl because you don’t stimulate him mentally. Sure he may come back to hit it after the relationship is over, but no junkie stops cold turkey. The point is he’s now only using you for Pussy, and that reaffirms that from the jump he saw you as Pussy never wifey! There is no such thing as Marry Me Pussy. No matter how good you think your shot is, there has yet to be a vagina built that can make a man throw a ring on it. Personality, charm, charisma > Pussy. If you want to keep a man, not just have someone to roll around in the bed and eat lemon pepper strips with, look in the mirror and ask, “Would I want me?” It’s like a job interview, the strengths are obvious and often times exaggerated. The weaknesses, those are hard to figure out, it’s not because you don’t have any, it’s because we rarely take a serious look at what’s wrong with us. Other than stupidity which we can’t really cure, there are several things that hold men back from promoting women, but here are my top two,

Are You Boring: No one wants a girl who sits around saying “I’m bored”? If you’re a bored female, that means you are boring. I don’t care how pretty you are I don’t want to waste my time with a boring chick who always needs to be entertained by the most basic shit. I’m bored my phone’s not ringing today. I’m bored nobody’s texting me. I’m bored nothing’s on TV. Guess what? I’m bored after fucking you for a month because all you do is seek attention. Your coochie may be wet, but your personality is dry! There are people that make things happen and there are people who complain that nothing’s happening. Which are you?

Are You Loyal: Yeah yeah you would never cheat physically, but who do you talk to besides him? Who do you flirt with besides him? Men know when a female has an active phonebook. Do you think he’s going to see you as more than a good time girl if you have dudes blowing up your phone? He can say, “cut every other dude off for me” but let’s be realistic, you have excuses to why you talk to these niggas, he’s your brother, he’s your best male friend, you work with him… the list goes on. If you’re not willing to let go of your backup dick, why should he upgrade you from the Pussy to the potential wifey?

If you are a girl who’s tired of the dating game and want something deeper than 9 inches and a text message, then it’s time to get serious and change the way men view you. When you go out on dates have something to say, push the conversation in directions you haven’t taken it before. Show him that you aren’t like the rest of these girls out here; make him feel as if you’re the type of woman he can raise children with… not drop children in. They say that beside every great man there is a great woman. History doesn’t remember women who could do it with no hands; they remember women who could do it with their brains. Stop Being Pussy, that’s how you keep a man.