Sasha Answers: Wedding or Holiday?

Dear Sasha, My husband and I have a bit of a dilemma we were hoping you could help us sort out. A bit of a backstory first...we've been together for 3 years and married for just over one. Since we met we have gone through multiple family issues, such as the death of grandparents, and cancer...lots and lots of cancer. His father was diagnosed not long after we met, and while we initially thought he beat it, it came back right after we were married (we actually found out while on our honeymoon). We've spent the past year travelling every weekend to see his parents, putting everything on hold to be with family and make the most of the time we had with his dad. Sadly his father passed away a few weeks ago, so now we are trying to pick up the pieces and find our new "normal".

Which brings us to our dilemma....since his dad's relapse we had to cancel multiple little trips & get-aways, fun little weekends that newlyweds would love to have together. His mother just told us yesterday that she would pay for us to go on vacation with her & her brother & sister-in law at the end of August to California, which is amazing as we are tight on money living off one income...but the vacation spans over a weekend we have friends getting married. We have already told our friends we would go (even though only family will be at the ceremony, friends will show up later to a reception/party downtown), and we love them dearly.....but a fully paid vacation sounds like just what we need right now. So what do we do......miss the wedding to get a fully paid vacation in with family, and spend some time together....or go to the wedding and miss out on another vacation? P

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F-ck, now ~I~ actually feel guilty having to make this decision too. Thanks a lot.

Okay, well I think we can all agree that while both options are good in their own right, this still presents itself as a Lainey Sh-t or Diarrhea situation, so I'll flush this one down quick – GO on the trip!

The last few years for you and your man have sounded like a nightmare, and I am sorry to hear that your father-in-law lost the battle. I f-cking hate cancer so much, but what I hate more is that we are forced to make sense of it.

Anyway P, the bottom line is that we all need a goddamn break sometimes and lord knows you two do. Had you been a bridesmaid or something like that I would have given you a different answer, but seeing as that’s not the case - get the hell out of dodge.

My only suggestion would be to make sure to call the bride and groom instead of emailing or texting or whatever rude asshole kids do these days. Also, don’t forget to mail them a heart-felt card that has a heart-felt cheque inside. Wink, that’s right, buy them off.

Look, if they’re close enough friends not only will they understand, they’ll be happy that you’re going and if they’re not, then they’re kind of dicks.