Saying it will put the country on a path to pain-free sustainable growth for years to come, members of the joint House-Senate deficit committee unveiled their plan this week to hire a rogue trader to balance the nation’s budget through unauthorized trades in equity index futures.

Philip Maddocks

Saying it will put the country on a path to pain-free sustainable growth for years to come, members of the joint House-Senate deficit committee unveiled their plan this week to hire a rogue trader to balance the nation’s budget through unauthorized trades in equity index futures.

“It shows us the way out,” said Sen. Harry Reid, the Democratic majority leader, who said the plan should be satisfactory to both Democrats and Republicans. “It means we no longer have to fight and we no longer have to suffer.”

During a festive, champagne-soaked soiree at the home of Democratic Sen. Mark Warner of Virginia to celebrate the introduction of the new plan, members of Congress, one after the other, praised the deficit panel members for their forward thinking and their refusal to compromise the comfort that Americans have come to expect.

The gathering, which was attended by more than 500 representatives and senators along with corporate executives and economists, left many at the dinner party hopeful for the first time in months that bipartisanship bonhomie and incomprehensible wealth were within reach of everyone once again.

“Rogue trading is the door opener,” said Sen. Ron Wyden, Democrat of Oregon, as he flung an expensive champagne flute into a fireplace behind him. “It is a way to generate revenue that both Democrats and Republicans can support.”

“This is something substantive,” he added, “that is already out there and in use with a real track record.”

Several conservatives, even those who are strongly opposed to using government-imposed solutions, agreed.

“This is the best chance we have,” said Rep. Jeff Flake, Republican of Arizona, as he studied the label of a Cristal Brut 1990. “If one rogue midlevel trader at a Swiss bank can hide $2.3 billion in losses for months, imagine what we will be able to do with our own losses once we get our own rogue trader.”

With Congress now planning to turn the country’s finances over to a rogue trader, the Office of Management and Budget has had to revise its fiscal and economic forecast for the nation to reflect the stupendous revenue that will be realized through the unauthorized trading. The office now says that deficits would likely disappear within weeks of hiring the trader and, even using conservative calculations, the federal government would be looking at a $329 billion surplus “by the holiday shopping season.”

“Whether the rogue trades are done using futures or some other asset-based trading instrument, as long as the true magnitude of the risk exposure is distorted by positions taken to offset them with fictitious, forward-settling, cash E.T.F. positions, we feel confident the government will reach its goal of nearly immediate solvency,” the Office of Management and Budget wrote in its new report.

According to the report, the federal government could be staring at a $1.3 trillion surplus by the start of the next fiscal year, which is equal to 8.8 percent of the economy, as measured by the gross domestic product, putting the nation in a position to fully fund a tax break for the reality series “Jersey Shore.”

The chairmen of the Congressional tax committees — Rep. Dave Camp, Republican of Michigan, and Sen. Max Baucus, Democrat of Montana — are on the deficit committee and have been pushing hard from the beginning for the government to hire a rogue trader, aides say.

“What’s not to like about this,” Mr. Baucus said. “This is Congress facing up to a problem and doing something about it. This is a good day on Capitol Hill. It’s a good day on Wall Street. And it’s a good day on Main Street. How often have you heard us say that in the last three years?”

Democrats said the plan showed that in troubled economic times the government was better equipped than the private sector to create one incredibly high-paying job. And Republicans hailed the move as further proof of their longstanding claim that the budget can be balanced without raising taxes on the wealthy.

The only reservations voiced were delivered by some of the newly elected tea-party-backed candidates who wondered whether this might be a gimmick to keep their colleagues from making real cost-cutting choices. But those objections were quickly quieted by a few more glasses of Cristal Brut 1990.

Philip Maddocks can be reached at pmaddocks@wickedlocal.com.

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