An insight into the world of films from a girl obsessed with jellyfish

Day 102 – Aliens

I don’t think there’s much I need to say to start this review off. Just that it is the second in the Aliens marathon I’m having. So, let’s get right to it. Day 102.

Aliens. Set 57 years after it’s predecessor, we follow Ripley, the only survivor of the original film, as she goes back to outer space to fight some more aliens.

According to Rotten Tomatoes, this film is supposed to be the superior film. Better than the original. This is something that even James Cameron thought it would be good to announce on his Director’s Cut edition of the film. So, surely I’m going to like it more than the first one? Right?

No. Just…no.

Let me tell you the first thing that made me realise that I would dislike this movie. James Cameron. His comment on his stupid DVD edition about how he made a better film than Ridley Scott is just not on. How arrogant do you have to be? I’ve seen plenty of Director’s Cuts, and none of them have been that arrogant. Sure, I will allow you to say ‘I think I made a great film.’ Not denying that at all. But to say that you made a better film than the original? Just go jump off a cliff now. Just go. I’m done with you.

I’ll breathe now.

The other thing that bothered me was that he said that the film had more suspense in it than the original. If suspense is making me shout at the screen, begging for something interesting to happen, then yes. You achieved that, mate. I was so bored throughout this whole damn film. Nothing interesting happened. It was just oversized guns and whiny little children. Why is that interesting? God!

You know another thing that bothered me? In the original film, there was only one alien. That alien seemed pretty much invincible. It was badass, and the bitch wouldn’t die. This film? Kill all the aliens! There were swarms of the damn things, and they were getting killed off so easily. Why is that intense? Why is that scary? Sure, there’s lots of them. But Scott did just fine with one alien. Did you really need to make swarms of the damn things? It just over-complicated everything and honestly I just lost interest in it. It worked so well in the last film, and this film it just ballsed up for me.

Even the acting wasn’t great. Weaver again was good, but even then I got annoyed at her. Mainly because of the moaning child that she inherited from a crash site that just did my head in the whole way through the damn film by trying to be cocky and badass and all those stupid things that a child shouldn’t be but she was because she went all tribal and stuff so it’s totally acceptable to be a bitch until you really need help and then you start screaming like an idiot *deep breath*. Can you tell the child annoyed me?

I think the only character that I liked was Bishop. The android. And the reason that I mainly liked him is because I loved the evolution aspect of it. David was the first android, who you could pretty much tell that he was an android from his calm tone of voice and stiff walking. Then there was Ash, who completely fooled everyone in the first Alien movie, so obviously the creators of the androids found a way to make it even more difficult to tell a human from a robot. And then there’s Bishop. The first of the Alien androids not to have some motive to hurt anyone. In fact, he can’t hurt a human. So, you know. Progress. I like it. I may have gone way too deep into this whole thing, but it fascinated me, and definitely was the best thing of the whole film.

I know. I know. I’ve left out the Queen. But you know what? It’s not that great. Sure, it’s a massive alien that gives birth to a whole bunch of other aliens. But it’s really not that amazing. I’ve seen bigger and scarier things in films. I just don’t know. I don’t see the big deal about it. I think by the time she turned up, I’d lost all hope in the film and was willing everyone to die. But there you go. If you thought it was a big meanie, then okay. It was. I just don’t care.

You may have gathered that I didn’t like this film. And I’m sorry if you are one of those people that think it is far superior to the previous. But no. You’re wrong. The first film is better in pretty much every way. One alien is much more scary that a million and their queen. A cat is a bigger priority than a child. And James Cameron is a dick.