Saturday, April 26, 2014

Grumpy as a Lifestyle

Greetings readers. I am Chester L. W. Stephens. This is The Daily Bone, and I have a bone to pick.

How's this for a grumpy face?

It has come to my attention that there is a certain cat called Grumpy Cat who is getting a lot of internet coverage lately. Just put “Grumpy Cat” (don’t do it yet!) in your search engine and tons of stuff will come up. Wow, that cat is sure famous! She even stars in cat food commercials. All this just for looking like she’s grumpy. I can do that!

Grumpy?

I’ve got the down-turned mouth and big eyes. Is this not grumpy? But you know what? Being famous and starring in ads means I would have to travel. I don’t like cars. I’m a home-body. And I’m not a grump. I could make a snarly face, but humans usually don’t care much for snarling doggies. I guess I’ll have to think of some other way to become rich and famous.

Oh but wait a minute! My serious and stodgy associate Joseph (Joey dog) Stephens would like to challenge Grumpy Cat.

Go Joey dog!

Grumpy

Grumpier

Grumpiest

But seriously? There is too much grumpy-ism in this world already. There’s hardly anything in this country that hasn’t been labeled by the media as either one political extreme or other; and if you’re not for them, you’re against them. Grump grump grump! You can hardly say anything without arousing the PC police. Grump grump grump. The news is almost always bad news. Grump grump grump. Plane crash, ship sinking, Russians invading, wasteful spending, shrinking middle class, too many taxes, government over-regulation, terrorists, the oceans are rising and the earth is doomed. Doomed I say! Nuclear proliferation! Middle East crisis! The Pipeline! National debt and student loans! The apocalypse is coming! Be grumpy! Bwahahahaha! Grumpy is the new black. Grumpy to the max!

OK. Enough with the grumpy for now! Life is better if you’re optimistic. The world is not such a bad place unless bad is the only thing you look for. Go chase a squirrel! Play with a squeaky toy. Take a walk. It’s finally Spring! It’s grilled cheese appreciation month! Even Grumpy Cat says, in her other video below, that grumpy is just how she looks. Don’t worry, be happy! Have a nice nap. And that’s a memo.

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About Me

My name is Chester L. W. Spaniel, registered cocker spaniel and chairman of the Squeaky Party. I write The Daily Bone almost every day; well, sometimes every week, but I keep at it. I get my inspiration from the humans I live with and the stuff they watch on TV. I believe squeaky toys will make the world a better place, and everybody should have a squeaky toy.