This
is written as a warning to anyone out there that is not totally and
utterly prepared to have their brain completely scrambled. It is a
warning not to browse unsuspectingly through the on line papers
looking for interesting articles, and I urge, no implore you not to
go near the science section unless you are very, very clever and
have lots of degrees in things like physics.

I
made this mistake and am now paying the price.

It
started when I came across a piece that caught my eye because the
headline involved a cat. I like cats and began to read mainly
because being in the science section I assumed the worst for the
cat.

The
said cat belonged to a man called Schrodinger who was an Austrian
Physicist. In 1935 he came up with a thought experiment to
challenge an article written by Einstein, Podolsky and a chap named
Rosen. This
is where my ability to follow the story ended.

I had
unwittingly and without any warning been drawn into the world of
quantum mechanics

Now I
had heard of quantum mechanics but had no real knowledge of the
subject. I have done my share of Radio 4’s “In our Time “ with good
old Melvin Bragg. Normally I would be able to brush off my
inability to understand this kind of subject with “Oh well I am
driving, lost my concentration there for a mo” Unfortunately there
is no such escape from the written word. I confess I read this
article twice and was still was no further forward. Thus my
understating of Mr Schrodinger’s cat is as
follows.

His
experiment involved the idea that if his cat which sadly always
seems to be nameless were put in a box it could be in a state of
being either alive or dead at the same time and that its state
would only be determined by the act of observation i.e. Opening the
box. This was then described as being a paradox. There was also
mention of introducing a sub atomic particle in with the cat to
further complicate the story but I think I had glazed over by this
stage. So despite my very best efforts the only thing I learned was
that Mr Schrodinger had a cat and he used to think about putting it
in a box. Hardly what the article probably wanted me to
conclude.

I
suppose the question I should be asking myself is: – Am I just
reading papers beyond my intellectual capabilities? Had I been
reading a tabloid instead of a broad sheet would I be reading about
“Austrian Man Named and Shamed in Cat in a Box Cruelty
Crime” much more up my street.

To
test this idea further I am including a quick summery of what
quantum mechanics is about courtesy of Wikipedia. (Where would we
be without it?)

Quantum mechanics, also known as quantum
physics or quantum theory, is a
branch ofphysicsproviding a
mathematical description of thewave–particle
dualityofmatter andenergy. The theory was
developed in 1925 byWerner
Heisenberg.[1]Quantum
mechanics describes the time evolution of physical systems via a
mathematical structure called thewave
function. The wave function encapsulates
the probability that the
system is to be found in a given state at a given time. Quantum
mechanics also allows one to calculate the effect on the system of
making measurements of properties of the system by defining the
effect of those measurements on the wave function. This leads to
the well-knownuncertainty principleas
well as the enduring debate over the role of the experimenter,
epitomised in theSchrödinger’s
Catthought
experiment.

Now
that to me means nothing, other than giving me a very strong
feeling of being dumb. If you have read it and can understand it –
congratulations you are either a) A complete geek. B) An alien or
C) Both of the above.

I
know these branches of science exist but my inability to understand
them is very frustrating. I am completely in awe of the people who
can grasp this stuff and to a degree appreciate the massive
contribution they make to our world.

I
have therefore concluded that in the interests of preserving my
sanity the most sensible thing I can do is limit my exposure to
this kind of information. This in turn will allow me to remain
deluded in the belief that I am not completely thick.