Speaking of Todd Wellemeyer, Bruce Bochy's genius move in matching him up with the other team's no.1 starter means that über-ace Tim Lincecum gets to face Jaime Garcia! Sure, the youngster from México who had Tommy John surgery in the off-season has already beat Brewers ace Yovani Gallardo and matched zeroes with the Mets Johan Santana, but this is April, and strange, unnatural things happen in April baseball. I don't think Giants fans should worry about (1) the boys facing a rookie pitcher they've never seen and (2) being in a massive slump and hitting off a guy who has 13 IP, 10 K, 5 hits allowed and a 0.69 ERA. As Stephen Colbert said last night: no problemo.

The rest of the weekend against the 1st-place-mirage-who-do-think-they-are-kidding-with-that pansy-lineup-and-weak-ass-starters St. Louis Cardinals has Barry Zito matched up with Adam Wainwright and Matt Cain against TBA. It's Brad Penny's turn (he pitched Monday), as Carpenter was used last night and Lohse the night before. This is LaRussaLand, though, and I can only assume it is some kind of deep gamesmanship to avoid announcing your Sunday starter. I'll leave it to you, me buckos, to noodle on the significance of Penny's return to SF where he, when all was said and done, salvaged his career. He's yielded 4 runs in 21 IP in 3 starts for the Cardinals in 2010. Like I said, it's April.

Just to make my point, let me reiterate how pissed off I am. It is one thing to lose to Clayton Kersheiser, he can be awesome (although, irritatingly, usually for only about 5 innings). It is quite something else to lose 3 games and score a total of 4 runs against the San Diego Non-Entitidres. Regardless of their record, these guys suck. They are among the worst teams in the National League. I grew sick years ago of seeing the Giants make AAA pitchers look like Cy Young, and HEY! we are right back doing the same damn thing. Velez is doing the exact same thing he did all last season, throwing up a statistically superior game every now and then and being absolute death every other game. Andrew Baggarly said it well, "He couldn't be more of an out-making factory if he owned an industrial stamper." Because he goes 3 for 5 with a home run and a double at least once in 10 days, his stats are fairly decent. I am really, really looking forward to Freddie Sanchez, on the condition that we can put Velez somewhere where he can't do much damage, like an occasional pinch running role. Probably won't happen - we'll see Bowker or Nate, not both so Velez can keep his confidence level up. By the way, someone should tell Bowker that WE DO NOT DEVELOP TALENT - WE favor NON-EXISTENT TALENT. If anyone does not know the difference, please see Mssrs. Bochy and Sabean. I predict a panic-induced trade that will make us worse by May 24. I did not expect a sweep of San Diego, however, the appalling lack of being able to execute any damn thing is disgusting. We wasted one superb and several decent pitching performances, any team with any cojones at all would have at least made games of it. By Wednesday, they should have just taken the earlier flight, forfeit and let San Diego get in a good practice. Bah! Yes it is April, and a damn shitty one it is shaping up to be. May 24, you heard it here first.