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Friday, 30 May 2014

#fridayflash: the voices

Dear Denise,I hope you get this letter. Casey refuses to let me anywhere near you, and Natasha’s pretty much of the same mind. Even Lex stared at me for a long time and mumbled something about Max and appearances before saying that he’d try.It really doesn’t look good for me, although I have Lex’s word that they won’t press charges. I understand where they’re coming from, though. What else should they think when they found me standing over you, razor in hand, blood everywhere? Don’t worry. I didn’t tell them and I won’t, unless you want to. Tell them what you need to – I can take it. I can bear this for you until you’re ready.I hate the voices in your head that tell you you’re not good enough. I hate the voices that keep telling you that you’ll never be loved, that you’ll never be worthy. That you deserve to hurt. They’re wrong. They lie to you in the worst way. It will be a long battle, Denise, but it doesn’t need to be a bloody one.You don’t have to listen to the voices that tear you down. You have a choice. Listen to me. Keep my words with you, even if you can’t reach me.YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.YOU ARE LOVED AND TREASURED.YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE.You can choose to do something different. Make something beautiful.Every time you forget that, call me and I’ll remind you. Call me, please. Just DON’T DO IT. Please.You are stronger than you think you are, and this one incident will not break you forever. I wish I had been able to answer your call. It was the worst timing ever for me to have silenced my phone. Forgive me, Denise. Forgive me for being almost too late.I fought this battle before, Denise. You’re stronger than I was. You can win this.Remember that even when you hate yourself, I love you still.Mark

Denise stared at the scars on her hands, remembering Mark's voice. He'd taken the razor from her hands. Held her. Whispered to her the words that still echoed in her head, overpowering her own.It's okay to cry. Crying is better than cutting. Crying is better than dying. Itsokayitsokayitsokayitsokay. I love you. It's okay. It's okay to cry.

Such a sad story but at least there's hope shining through, and people who love her. When I got about halfway through I thought for sure Denise was a second personality but am glad that wasn't the case (because I enjoy stories more when I can't guess the ending). (Deanna Schrayer)

About Me

Anna likes to believe that she has something to say. Most times though, those "somethings" stay locked in her private little brain, echoing in its emptiness until it one day breaks out into a deluge of whiny rants on her blog.