Search the country for a rich victim. Someone who belonged to a prominent family who could afford to pay a large ransom; preferably someone who had inherited their money because they would be much more deserving of kidnapping than someone who had actually earned it.

Search the Internet for expensive homes in ritzy neighborhoods.

Select a victim. Not a child. Not a woman. That would be cowardly. Select a man and prepare.

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Rent a remote cabin -- one not too far from your victim's home; a couple of hours, tops.

Buy a Taser, some duct tape and wrist restraints.

Watch the house, make sure you know when your victim is home.

Buy some flowers. Pose as a delivery man. Ring the door bell. Taze the rich guy. Bind his hands. Lug him to your rented minivan. Drive him to your rented cabin. Call a family member on your victim's cell phone. Demand $900,000 in cash and gold coins. Get it and ... disappear.

Perfect. Brilliant.

What could go wrong?

Everything.

Tuesday, would-be kidnapper 76-year-old John Felder, who according to his attorney is a former CFO of Spencer Gifts, made his first public appearance since being arrested and charged with the attempted abduction of 50-year-old Robert "Rory" McNeil. That's McNeil as in McNeil Laboratories.

Felder shuffled into district court handcuffed and in Delaware County prison blues. Looking on was his distraught daughter, Janice.

Felder's attorney, Jason Antoine, asked for a bail reduction, citing Felder's lack of a criminal record, medical issues, five children, 14 grandchildren, and the fact that until this "bizarre" incident, he has "always been an upstanding citizen."

Felder has donated thousands of dollars to Christian charities, said Antoine, coached baseball, was a deacon in his Florida church and had the full support of his shocked and bewildered family. He's also a Temple University graduate.

Magisterial District Judge John Tuten was not moved -- at least not enough to lower the $175,000 cash bail.

As Felder was led back to the holding room in the back of the courtroom, he looked straight ahead, failing to acknowledge his daughter's presence.

After his initial arrest and arraignment, Felder reportedly confessed to FBI agents his plan to kidnap an underserving member of America's top 1 percent.

Like many wealthy families with second-generation money, the McNeils try to keep a relatively low profile. Yes, they live in a $1.3 million home, but by Radnor Township standards, that's basically a middle-class abode. They could live larger, but they don't.

Heirs to a drugstore and pharmaceutical fortune, they quietly give away money in buckets to local and national philanthropic causes.

They are so generous that one township resident suggested that if John Felder had showed up at the door and simply told Rory McNeil his tale of financial woe, "he'd have given him the $900,000."

An exaggeration, to be sure. But John Felder is no beggar.

Fortunately for McNeil, Felder turned out to be a very incompetent kidnapper. For all his intricate planning, Felder didn't seem to know that to incapacitate someone with a Taser you need to hold the trigger to keep the electricity flowing. McNeil had the presence of mind to slam the door on his attacker and dial 911.

After fleeing the crime scene, police say Felder headed up to the Poconos. Radnor detectives tracked him down through a parking ticket. Fortunately, he complained to a Wayne flower shop clerk about getting it when he purchased the decoy bouquet he used to get McNeil to open his front door. He was arrested after trying to purchase a handgun and a good thing, too -- he might have hurt himself with it.

I've visited two crimes scene in the last two weeks -- one in Chester and one in Wallingford. One was a step up from the other.

But the McNeils live in another world. Their home is an old piece of the famous Androssan Estate, owned by socialite Hope Montgomery Scott.

Tuesday, as a TV news camera lady set up to take a shot of the place, a golden retriever and a chocolate lab came bounding up the driveway barking, but not very threateningly.

The family, according to one of their attorneys, has taken new security precautions to help prevent anything like John Felder from happening to them again.

Past that, the McNeils are more interested in "protecting their privacy" than in discussing the case.

Radnor police have said Felder had recently experienced some financial setbacks, as part of the explanation for what may have led him to commit this crazy, pathetic crime.

"It's almost like a movie," Detective Tom Schreiber was quoted as saying.

Yes, it does have comic possibilities. That is, until you see the pained face of Felder's daughter.

In the little hallway leading out of the courtroom Tuesday, she waited to see her father before he was taken back to jail.

"He's the best dad in all the world," she said trying to hold back tears, "and we just want him to get some help."

Gil Spencer's column appears Sunday, Wednesday and Friday. Check out his spencerblog every day at delcotimes.com.