Friday, February 3, 2017

Genericide Update: Little Orphan Jimjerroo

And so, I triumphantly
return once more to the noble tradition of filler blog updates! That’s…that’s a
thing that can be triumphant, right? And noble? I mean, not that noble, obviously. It’s not like I’m
saving any starving orphans with these filler update posts. Although then again, who am I to say? Perhaps poor
little orphan Jimjerroo, already driven to depression by his hilariously
stupid name, only needed one more obscure filler blog post to keep on living. And
that blog post is mine.

If that were the case,
which for simplicity sake we’ll just say it definitely
is, why then this blog post would be conclusively
proved to be the best thing ever. Proved so conclusively
that it would require a frankly excessive
amount of italic text. Yeah, what
can I say? I’m just a natural humanitarian. The Red Cross should really be
allocating more of their budget in getting me to write about how JRPG stories
are a load of butts. It’s just the most logical way to save mankind.

Speaking of loads of
butts, remember how once a year I write about some terrible MMO? Remember how that
article is already over two months overdue? Well stop remembering that second
one, I’m declaring it non-canon. The new canon is that I never do anything wrong
and you’ve decided to mail me free ice cream right this second due to my
natural charisma and lackadaisically charming smile. I’m glad we’ve all agreed
to make this our mutually accepted headcanon of reality, therefore irrevocably changing
the fabric of the universe in my favor.

So yeah, another load of hot MMO-flavored bile is getting served
straight to your table at the Genericide Café, sometime in the near future. And
in a similarly vague unit of time after, a familiar face will be returning to
the blog. Or perhaps not familiar, because it’s been over six months since they’ve
been here. Not to mention, we never saw much of their face in the first place.
Is there any type of unified model of familiarity out there we can rely upon to
determine okay look it’s Oblivion okay?
There will be a bad MMO post and then an Oblivion post.

Ahem. Y’know, maybe I
should just start summarizing the actually useful content of these posts at the
top. In the magical dream universe where I have regular readers, I can imagine
them wanting to pass out on my nonsense but know when actual content is coming. As for the rest of you, I’ll keep on
having literary seizures all over your internet for as long as you want. Which
is possibly zero hours, but until you say otherwise I am all over that internet word seizure train.