January 15, 2014

birthday girl

Yesterday it was her birthday. A celebration of 12 years of waking up with her, 12 years of kisses goodnight.

She was my first baby - my first reason to waken in the dead of night, one of four reasons to keep me waking even in the dark of life.

When once it was my turn to visit her, crib-side and holding breath as I listened for hers, it is now her visits to my bed at night with questions and fears and experiences to share that keep me grasping for answers, more truth, clearer vision so that it is with wisdom that I answer. It is her visits, happy steps plodding flat footed down the hall, in the morning that greet me with smothering kisses and optimistic eagerness for the day that breathe anew wakefulness and readiness in me.

We have each taken our turns playing nursemaid by the other's sickbed, each cheered the other on in games and hard fought life battles. She encourages me with assurances first uttered by me. Because she has forgiven so much of me and the errors I've made as mother, she is daughter easily pardoned and reconciled.

What I thought I was solely to her, a life-line and life-support, she has in turn been doubly to me, a soul connection to life itself.

As mothers we say we are giving birth to life as pounds of flesh pass through us and into this world. But as her mother, as the mother of many, I say that we become reborn from the moment we first make introduction to our children.

They are purpose and passion personified. She is grace and light and hope and truth murmured over and over and over again through the cycles that change me from nursemaid to best friend and her from dependent suckling to favorite companion.

:: Her gift was a major room overhaul. Dog corkboard inspired by this. Headboard done on the cheap after realizing this one was a bit ambitious for me. Pillows covered in a JoeFresh dog sweater dress and heart bedazzled Gap t-shirt. Blue fabric was scrap from kitchen curtains. Desk lamp and new chair found this week on clearance at Target. New clothes collected off clearance racks over the year were hung on her over-door hanger. Birthday girl was happy!! :)

Comments

Yesterday it was her birthday. A celebration of 12 years of waking up with her, 12 years of kisses goodnight.

She was my first baby - my first reason to waken in the dead of night, one of four reasons to keep me waking even in the dark of life.

When once it was my turn to visit her, crib-side and holding breath as I listened for hers, it is now her visits to my bed at night with questions and fears and experiences to share that keep me grasping for answers, more truth, clearer vision so that it is with wisdom that I answer. It is her visits, happy steps plodding flat footed down the hall, in the morning that greet me with smothering kisses and optimistic eagerness for the day that breathe anew wakefulness and readiness in me.

We have each taken our turns playing nursemaid by the other's sickbed, each cheered the other on in games and hard fought life battles. She encourages me with assurances first uttered by me. Because she has forgiven so much of me and the errors I've made as mother, she is daughter easily pardoned and reconciled.

What I thought I was solely to her, a life-line and life-support, she has in turn been doubly to me, a soul connection to life itself.

As mothers we say we are giving birth to life as pounds of flesh pass through us and into this world. But as her mother, as the mother of many, I say that we become reborn from the moment we first make introduction to our children.

They are purpose and passion personified. She is grace and light and hope and truth murmured over and over and over again through the cycles that change me from nursemaid to best friend and her from dependent suckling to favorite companion.

:: Her gift was a major room overhaul. Dog corkboard inspired by this. Headboard done on the cheap after realizing this one was a bit ambitious for me. Pillows covered in a JoeFresh dog sweater dress and heart bedazzled Gap t-shirt. Blue fabric was scrap from kitchen curtains. Desk lamp and new chair found this week on clearance at Target. New clothes collected off clearance racks over the year were hung on her over-door hanger. Birthday girl was happy!! :)