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Posted Tuesday, August 28, 2012

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Author
Topic: Negative! Can I move on? (Read 13665 times)

The answers you'll get will not be any different from the ones you got posting as nearlythere.

I understand that the day you created the Dan account, you (accidentally, I'm assuming) deactivated your original account by trying to change your email address. However, you should have emailed us instead of creating a new account, which is prohibited under the Terms of Membership, which you agreed to when you became a member. This information is also contained within the Welcome Thread, which you should have read by now. So really, you have no excuse.

You must realize that the answers won't change, no matter how many names you post under.

I would appreciate a reply to this message, and I hope you will commit to using just one account - preferably your original one. If not, you will be banned from further access to the forums.

I can reactivate your original account, disable this one, and merge your threads.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

With my old account, I tried to change the email address. When I looked at my profile I saw that my email address was showing, even though I was asking for it not to, and my email is fairly recognisable to those who know me so I just tried to change it to another. For some reason I can't access the email account I created so I just created a new username. I'm sorry, I realise my actions were disrespectful.In any case, there's no need to deactivate my new account/reactivate my old one. I'll be logging off this evening and I won't be logging on again. I sought counselling and continue to, and it's helped me a lot. But when I thought back to when I took my test, I worried that I took it a few days too soon. I just wanted clarification on that point. The counselling has been great but I can't shake that little bogeyman that says 'test at six months'. But I know I'm being irrational and that there is nothing else you can do for me here.I'm sorry once again. Thanks for all your replies. I won't post, or log in, again

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Well Ann you were right, I'm just like all the others.I tried to stay away but I just can't. I got professional help regarding my anxiety and my inability to accept negative results, and they helped so much. I've found a lot of stuff to work on, particularly my drinking. Things are going really well.Yet the nagging sense persists that I hadn't produced antibodies when I tested. Playwithmeplz really freaked me out, a healthy guy taking a year to seroconvert. It's just that there are a lot of people who claim to take longer than three months. How can we be sure that they're ALL wrong?I'm not afraid of HIV anymore. My anxiety has disappeared and I'm enjoying life again. My question is, how can we be sure that three months is sufficient?I truly believe that three months is sufficient for 99.99% of people and that you cannot get more reliable than that with science. My question is, where do I go from here. I cannot shake the thought that I still might be infected. I'm not anxious, I'm not up all night worrying about this, I'd just like to let it lie. And I can't.

I'd also like to apologise sincerely for changing my login name. I accidentally de-activated my old account the day I did it and should have told everyone. I didn't and I'm really sorry.

Its your dime and your body. Test as much as you like as often as you like. You are negative right now. Others "anectdotal" stories are not SCIENTIFIC proof. They are notoriously unreliable for MANY reasons.

You choose to believe what you want to believe. We have given you our opinion multiple times. What more are you looking for from this site?

We cant make your fears go away. We arent going to change our answers. So the only thing YOU can do is keep seeing a professional therapist (which it does NOT really sound like its working too well YET if you are still here. Just give that time) and if you want to keep testing then by all means spend the money.

I think we have said all we can for you regarding this incident and your testing negative.

Logged

LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safelyin a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT ARIDE!!!

I'm keeping up the counselling. I'm not really afraid anymore though. I'm not even bothered. I suppose I'm just looking for certainty, and that's not really something that exists in science. The view here is that it is impossible to test positive after testing negative at three months if there are no further risks. I really wish I could find the way to accept that, and I know that the only person that can make that decision is me.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Thanks for your reply Ann.I believe my results, it's just hard to let go. It's just quite a few people 'claim' it took longer than three months, but then if you analyze their stories, you see holes. The search for certainty in life is a fruitless one!

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

So I'm going for another test. I really, really hoped I wouldn't have to. But over the last few months,despite my anxiety becoming more controlled, I've had terrible skin infections, mouth ulcers and now the tingling in the hands and feet. These symptoms have been complemented by headaches and constant fatigue.

I have had NO risk since my exposures in September. I have a negative at 86 days. So there is NO chance my test results will change? I visited my PCP at Christmas, soon after my negative HIV test. We did all the normal blood tests, my CBC and WBC were within range. So I'm clinically well. Thank you all for your time and patience:)

LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safelyin a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT ARIDE!!!

It's been a while since I've been on here, and I come for clarification more than anything else. I am now single, and last night I visited a brothel. I had sex with two prostitutes. Both incidents were entirely protected.

My questions are about condom failure and massage oils. From what I've read here, condom failure is a fairly obvious event. So is it really that black and white? I checked the condoms at the end of both encounters and they hadn't leaked. Is it then safe to say that they remained intact and I wasn't exposed to HIV even if the women had been infected?

The second encounter was preceded by a massage. I don't know whether she used oil or lube - new to all this - and she put on the condom with her mouth while I wasn't completely hard (it didn't take long for that situation to change). Again at the end the condom had remained intact. I guess I'm just looking for reassurance that I was as careful as I could have been. Since my early days of drunken risk taking, I'd like to think that I'm doing things right as far as HIV is concerned. Am I?