2011-2014. The original blog that got it all started. It represents reflections I had and sharing I did, during a time period in my life, freshly post autism diagnosis, worsening illness, though I wasn't yet clear on things. I was trying to process and going through a lot of hard learning. There's some good stuff in here, which helped others, and there's also some stuff that no longer reflects my situation and/or evolved insights. Please read with this in mind.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Entry 8: Mama, Wife, Lady, Girl, Autistic …

I
get creative when I'm broke. I've soaked this package of dried
Mexican chestnut lima beans that I had sitting around, as I'd been
meaning to make them. Based on the description, they sound pretty
good. Apparently they're not your drab and ordinary lima bean, they
are much richer in flavor, and sweeter with a more starchy texture
like a chestnut. Hmmm…

They're
also quite big, so I’ve got the image and taste in my mind of those
big yummy tomato-based baked beans that you get from the deli. I am
now trying to mimic that in cooking them combining it with a little
light Mexican hint…I guess like Mexican home cooking or something?
I wouldn’t know for sure.

Tomato
sauce and water, grape seed oil, lots of garlic, onion, chili powder,
herbs (cilantro, basil, marjoram), stevia, bay leaf and black pepper,
it smells really good so I'm sure it'll turn out well. I'd love to
record recipes but it's just too much work for my autistic lightspeed
brain, to slow down and figure out what exact amount I put of what.
It's all like Google images flickering before me. It’s like Temple
Grandin describes, except they're also in categories going back to
the origins of spices i.e. from what continent/country/region.

I
had a childhood fixation with comparing and contrasting ethnicities,
particularly cuisines. Conveniently I still (because if I eat
something it's either really yummy, or I won't eat it) remember much
of what I read. So I'm always cautiously pondering how this and that
may mix together and= Yum! Or, how this and that would= Ugh! (I
almost hear the X buzz, like as in a game show, for wrong!) I'll add
it's all with love too! I guess this is what happens when you mix
feminine and autistic) Female interest, autistic execution. Heh
heh!