The Things I Want Without The Man

Listen, I am at a point in my life where I am totally fine being single. Although I am fine not having a boyfriend I must be honest and say that there are a few reasons why it would be helpful to have a man around. Hell, I like being all independent and shit but damn I’m still a woman.

Firstly, I am tired off taking out the fucking trash

Bitch, I hate killing damn bugs

I am tired of sweating my eyebrows off while changing a hot ass lightbulb

I am all for helping the neighborhood kids make money but I would like to NOT pay someone to cut the grass and rake my leaves

I don’t want to take out the trash. PERIOD! Oh I already said that

It would be nice to have a little testosterone around the house

A bitch just needs some in house dick sometimes. My wrists and hands are starting to hurt and batteries are expensive. I also get tired of looking through my contacts for someone to come through for a night cap, I need him on demand like Comcast

Shit breaks in the house from time to time and I get tired of turning to YouTube to learn how to fix things

I am not into video games like I used to be so I need someone to help entertain my son

My car needs to be washed and I don’t plan on doing it

I hate sitting in the auto shop waiting for my car to get serviced. I need a man to take my car so I won’t get cheated out of my money

I prefer to sleep on one side of the bed and I’m pretty sure my mattress is wompsided

I need someone to look for my remote when it gets lost

I like my stomach rubbed when my period is on

Someone should share my bills with me lol

Annnnd I am pretty sure there are other reasons why having a man would be nice but I can’t think of any right now. Ladies, if you have any reasons why you would want a significant other around without the significant comment below