Features

AA Gill’s Table Talk: The Shed, W8

Do you care if there is a horse in your bun? Really? Honestly? When you say “I
could eat a horse”, do you mind if you already have?

Obviously you can’t tell. You have no idea what’s in a burger, you just
assume.

When they discovered that 30% was horse, my first thought wasn’t: “Oh my God,
we’re eating My Lidl Pony.” It was: “What’s the other 70%?” What else don’t
they know they’re selling?

We’ll put more things in our mouths with blind trust than we would ever take
to bed. Even if someone you fancy with an oscillating, ululating frenzy is
standing right in front of you and says “Trust me”, you’d still say: “Yes,
but wear a condom.” If some supermarket that you wouldn’t trust to look
after your jack russell says, “This is organic, free-range, fair-trade,
local, artisanal, heritage goodness,” you just think: “Lovely, I’ll pop