Saturday night and you're still hangin' aroundLooking for "Man Ass" in your one horse townyou'd like to find a little hole in the ground,for awhile..
So you go to Lansdale in your Wal-Mart jeans
And you stare at Elephant Boy and the Kielbasa Queen
It's like some pornographic magazine
And you smile

Captain Janks will be getting high tonight
And he will go to his special island
Captain Janks will be getting by tonight
Just a little push, and he'll be smilin'

Oh yeah,...

Your sister's gone out, she's on a date
You look at firemen and masturbate
CNN's phone is gonna ring soon, but you just can't wait
To make that call