my Jesus calls me to be the Voice of the Face-full and to keep changing the Faith until it tastes just the way I want it to. That's why, in addition to calling for a boycott on "obesity engineering" for children, I'm calling on all you closeted Jolly readers to join me in the struggle to bring the Church into the 21st century by finally throwing off the shackles of the Dark Ages and facing the need for re-visioning the Sacrament of the Eucharist to celebrate and embrace the gifts we Jollies bring to the Church! When will the Church realize that the gift of Jollity is not about shame-based nonsense like the "sin of gluttony," but rather about the joyful appetite for wolfing down as much life as possible without regard for dry Dark Age pedantries about "natural law" and "the common good"? The Church's views on food and eating may have made sense in an era when people were stupid and medieval and poor. But in this day and age, when we are smart and living now and have a lot of food, I can't see why we need to practice outmoded notions like temperance. All that matters is love, and I love Ding Dongs.