Category: Uncategorized

People disagree on many issues. It’s human nature to want your opinions heard, be it right or wrong. Some people politely listen to your point of view and may offer theirs. Others are unwilling to hear what you have to say and feel like theirs is the only opinion that matters. And the debate will rage on, be it face to face, on social media, phone calls or texts.

And there are the people that feel that if they get the last word in, their opinion must have been the right one. I’ve dealt with that situation lately. I stated my position clearly and without any emotional passion that comes from a heated debate. I stated that this is my opinion, I had made my position clear on the matter and didn’t want or need any further response on the matter. It wasn’t long before the next text comes through. After reading the first two lines, I knew that what I had to say wasn’t taken into context and that no matter what I said, it wouldn’t matter. I hit the delete button, not reading the rest… The last word left unread.

After much thought, I realized I had spent far too much time and energy trying to get my ideas and thoughts across to someone that, for whatever reason, was unwilling to step back and take a nonbiased, unemotional look at what I was trying to convey. There was simply no point in trying to further deal with the issue. It wasn’t worth the effort and stress to continue further. It is too bad when friends disagree so badly that the only way to get the last word is to simply say …

I received a text from a former colleague asking how work was going. After a few exchanges, we decided to grab dinner and catch up. I headed to her place, just a short 20-minute drive away and she took me to a pub she has been wanting me to experience.

We ordered drinks and appetizers and started telling each other about our respective beginning of the year trials and tribulations. The beer was cold and the food was good. As we just finished our meal and was thinking about calling it a night, we heard an announcement over the speakers “Trivia will begin in 20 minutes.” She looked at me, eyes wide open and said with a huge smile, “Dude, we have to do this!” When we worked together, during staff meetings there would be the occasional trivia contest as team building exercises. We were so good and won so often it was determined we could no longer be on the same team. We have this one in the bag.

We signed up and was ready for the first question. As the first question was asked, I stared at her with blank eyes. They didn’t say this was going to hard trivia. We fumbled through the first half of the contest and ended up 8th out of 10 places. I made the excuse that it was the beer that was causing me to draw a blank on these questions, but in truth, the questions were tough.

As we started the second half of the contest, we started to gain momentum. The occasional question we couldn’t answer, we’d put a silly answer down to amuse ourselves and the guy running the game. For instance, “What is another name for a double eagle in golf? I could not, for the life of me, come up with albatross, the correct answer. So we put down as our response, velociraptor. The drinks were making us silly and we might as well have fun if we weren’t going to win the grand prize of the $10 gift card, right?

As we headed into the final question, we were at the bottom of the standings. The question was asked, I knew the answer and bet the maximum amount of points allowed and turned it in. We ended up in 7th place. Not bad for two people that were going up against groups as many as ten. We finished our drinks and headed out, back to her place for one more drink on her patio before heading home to bed.

I got home and looked at the time. “Holy CRAP!” I have to work tomorrow. I crawled into bed and the next thing I know I hear the sound of my annoying new alarm ringtone waking me up. I can’t believe it was morning already. And, to be honest, I wasn’t feeling the best. It’s been a long time since I felt this bad after a night of drinking, heck, it’s been a long time since I had a night of drinking. I stumbled around, got a shower, walked the dog and made coffee. Yeah, no, that wasn’t going to help. I needed more sleep, but that wasn’t going to happen. I managed through the day, coworkers giving me knowing smiles as we apparently were having such a good time, we were taking Snap Chat photos and selfies for FaceBook.

So tonight, here I sit, contemplating an early bedtime and keeping the dog happy. She was a mad little thing when I finally rolled in the night before. I think to myself, never again …

I have been looking back over the past few days and counting the number of random acts of kindness that I have been the recipient of. I am very blessed by the people around me.

It started on Friday morning, which was going to be a very busy day for me. As I was driving to work, the trusty ol’ truck started misbehaving and I pulled over to take a peek at the possible issue. A coworker pulled up behind me and asked if I needed a ride. I thought that I could limp it the rest of the way to work and she was kind enough to follow me the last few miles.

Now this alone would mess up anyone’s day, but I was too focused on the tasks I knew I had to do to let it bother me. I asked a friend if he could possibly take a look and confirm my suspicions if he had a chance. In no time he was back, broken part in hand. He set it on my desk then handed me a slip of paper with the part number and where to purchase it. He said that when I got the part he would replace it for me. WOW! I’m feeling like a very lucky guy. Not only because the part was not that expensive, but he was taking the time out of his busy schedule to help a friend out. A coworker offered me a lift home and my neighbor offered to run me to the parts store. I reflected on the day and realized how lucky I was to have friends like this.

Bright and early the next morning my friend messaged me and said he was heading out to fix my truck and wanted to know if I wanted to go with him. In just a few minutes, the truck was once again in working order. He also inspected the rest of the front end and suggested I replace another part as I was able. I thanked him several times and I was on the road once again, grateful to everyone that helped me.

Sunday morning as I was on my way to church, my neighbor that gave me the lift asked if I was stopping by the pharmacy. I told him I could as it was on the way home and asked if I could stop and pick up his medications as his wife had forgotten to do so. Not a problem, I told him, thinking back to how he helped me out just a little more than a day ago. I made my stops and as I took him his meds, I glanced over to my yard. He had cut my grass, a chore I was dreading this afternoon.

I’ve learned that friends help friends as we can. Sometimes a small act of kindness on one’s part is a huge relief to the other. I appreciate every single one of my friends, real and pixilated.

Now, I can kick back and relax on this sunny afternoon and know I am very lucky to have the friends that I do.

I’d like to say that I had a relaxing uninterrupted three months off from the grind, but that just isn’t the case. While I had heard rumors and speculation for several months prior to summer break, it wasn’t until three days before my summer began that I was told the news. My workspace was getting renovated with new carpet and paint. (I couldn’t talk them into new shelving). And I needed everything moved out ASAP. So how does one move over 10,000 books as quickly as possible and the bigger question was where was I going to store them?

With my usual quick thinking, I had a plan in place, made sure the space I wanted to use was available and away I went. As soon as the building was cleared on the last day I began the move. I was offered help but decided it would be easier for me to do it myself than have to babysit a couple of teenagers making sure everything was done in the right order.

After four long days, I had everything removed. It was time for the maintenance staff to move out the fixtures. My hands were swollen from the constant picking up and moving all those books, but the job was done, or at least half done. I was still going to have to move them back once the room was ready. I left the empty room and I was able to enjoy a few weeks of R&R.

A few weeks later, I was back at it, moving everything back in reverse order. With the janitorial staff constantly asking when I was going to be done because that just HAD to get into the rooms I was using to wax the floors. It took another four long days, but I finally put the last book in place and was pleased with the results. I had the summer staff put the shelves into a new configuration (if we are going to make it look new, then things had to be different, right?) With the job completed, I was able to rest the last few weeks of vacation.

Now that the storm has passed, it’s time to enjoy the sunshine. I never thought the rain was going to end. The thunder was loud, the lightning sharp and the clouds seem to fill the entire sky. But the rains washed away the heaviness in the air and everything now smells fresh and new. Looking about, it feels like the world has been reborn. The rain nourishing the seeds that will begin to grow into new life. It’s time to enjoy the sun, knowing full well another storm will arise at some point and begin the cycle again. I hope the next one is just a brief shower.

During my hiatus, I spent a lot of time trying to rediscover who the man behind Carson’s devilishly good looks really is. I spent most of the winter months cuddled up with my ever-faithful puppy girl, Netflix on the screen and my brain in self-reflection mode. “Who am I? What do I want? Why am I here?” (Ok, I also binge-watched Babylon 5 on Prime as well) You would think such simple questions would be easy to answer… NOPE!

“What Do I Want?”

Don’t get me wrong. I didn’t live the life of a hermit, I went to work, hung out with friends, etc. But the winter months lend to more solitude than the other seasons of the year. It’s cold AF and gets dark way too early, and most definitely my least favorite season of the year. But as the winter snows finally subsided (the neighbor kids built a snow bunny for Easter this year) I found I could answer at least one of those questions. What do I want? Sure, a million bucks would be nice, but the answer is much simpler and more self-satisfying than that. I want to be happy. If I can go through the day being happy, I was certain other good things would follow. I was recently told that I have a positive energy about me and that stems from working daily to be a happy person, even when I don’t feel like I want to. It took a long time and a lot of practice, but I now try to look for the positive in the day and not the negative.

“Who Am I?”

This question was a tough one. It hadn’t been the best year for the real Carson. It was a little more than a year ago I had a major health crisis. I recovered slower than I wanted, but I did recover fully. Then major personal issues hit me in the face and I had to redefine who I was. And honestly, I wasn’t sure myself. Most people define themselves by their roles… profession, sibling, spouse, friend, the things they own… But I went deeper. And finally, the answer came to me. I am myself. I am unique to this world because there is no one else exactly like me. I have my own likes and dislikes, my own thoughts and fears, desires and dreams. These are the things that can never be taken away from me. The car, the house, the job, my favorite POP! Vinyl (Supergirl) are all just material objects that can be replaced. But no one can ever take away the internal things that define who I am.

“Why Am I Here?”

I know why I am here in the real world. I have a job that serves the community and our youth. I hope that the children I interact with on a daily basis will someday appreciate the effort I put into their lives each and every day. The question haunting me now is why am I here in Second Life? I’m not lonely, seeking friends from faraway places. I have a good circle of friends in my real life. I used to use SL as an escape, a way of not having to deal with some of the daily issues of real life. Yeah, I was broken. But that isn’t the case anymore. I could start a blog under my real name and write about whatever I chose to write about. What is the draw of this realm? While I don’t have all the answers yet, I do know this. I keep getting drawn back to the connections I’ve made. Some friends are long gone, some of whom I still talk with through text or email. Others, I just miss seeing their pixilated faces and learning about their day. It isn’t about the things that you can do here, It’s about the lives that you touch and are touched by on a daily basis.