Saturday, January 23, 2010

First Crush

For the past few months I've been getting more comfortable with being into dudes and with the idea that being gay would be something really cool. I am not in the same position as many other gay/bi kids are in for me it wouldn't be that big of a deal to come out of the closet and say i am bi or gay because well my parents have dropped hints ever since i was 11 years old saying stuff like we will always love you no matter what you grow up to be and if you are happy that's all that matters to us.

So why haven't i done it yet? well like i said its only been a few months since the idea of being with a guy isn't something i felt was just me being a horny kid and since I've talked to other gay guys and realised that being gay isn't just about guys fucking each other just because they can and that's what so many people think of the gay community.

I now know that yes there are people that do that but so do straight ones but finding someone you can have that special connection with same sex or not that you can trust is an amazing thing and i look back at my first crush on a guy and yeah i was freaked out and i would cry about it because it was wrong but very time i saw the dudes face i couldn't stop smiling and how in any level can being that happy be wrong? i cant say that i am ready to come out to the people around me but knowing that i am not a bad person for feeling like this and that there is nothing to be ashamed about its going to make it a whole lot easier.