Oh, Adrienne, I am so glad that you are back, but, damn, you’re making me cry again, woman.

The stark, sad truth of this is just devastating. The pictures are so lovely, but the story you tell with them… how the ripples just keep rolling on outward, unceasingly through time and space, fainter still, but never gone.

I am so sorry that you, your family, that anyone has had to go through this.

How old you were then? That is pretty much exactly how old Ethan & Jake (and therefore, your Carter) are now. I wish I could just pick up eight-year-old you and hold her close, pour the sunshine back into her life. Big sighs.

Last week, a 27-year-old doctoral student at Princeton killed himself. The letter he left behind (detailing the horrible abuse he received as a child) was reprinted widely, and paints a stunning portrait of the darkness he battled every day. You can read it here: http://gizmodo.com/5726667/the-agonizing-last-words-of-bill-zeller

In the letter, he says this:

“People say suicide is selfish. I think it’s selfish to ask people to continue living painful and miserable lives, just so you [meaning his friends and family] possibly won’t feel sad for a week or two.”

Clearly, he had no idea what a long shadow suicide can cast…he may have a niece or nephew of his own who will be affected as deeply and permanently as you were.

This was powerfully and wonderfully written. I’m sorry. For all that pain, but most of all for your loss of innocence and happiness and the belief that everything can easily be made okay. Children should be allowed to live that way and I’m sorry you weren’t.

I had a student commit suicide. A student I barely knew. It still haunts me. There is still a place of emptiness at our school. in his friends. in his sister. I never saw her smile again while she was in school.

my best friend killed herself 12.5 years ago when we were 13 years old. the pain.never.goes.away.ever. family and friends are torn apart in the aftermath, eyes refuse to sparkle again…i am so sorry for your loss.
i blogged about mine on the 12 year anniversary…you can read it herehttp://www.abbiemorrison.com/2010/06/june-1st.html

may folks like you and i continue to tell our painful stories so that others won’t know what it’s like to have their own. keep telling, we’ll save lives.

I’m a suicide attempt survivor. People that try, I can tell you that they have already tried to live with the shame, guilt, and pain….all of it is just pain, and they are ready for it to end, and believe me all they want is LIFE. I’m sorry your aunt did that. She took every reason why she did it, with her.Carolyn recently posted..A firefighters perspective on burning bridges