What you don't want to know about Kimmie ;-)

I'm engaged to the love of my life and we both just happen to be spankos. I met him on Fetlife and have been with him since August 5, 2010. Spankings are a pretty regular thing for me these days! We've made a few videos which are available on Spankingtube. We enjoyed making them and we hope to make more someday! Anyhow, I love being spanked (well, sometimes I don't...depends on why I'm getting spanked)!! I am a Senior Psychology major and plan to get my Master's Degree someday! I also love to write short stories and poetry. Dance in the rain. Listen to music, Play around on the internet, Blog, and most importantly, have fun! kinkylynxproductions@gmail.com

Monday, July 26, 2010

*Please don't go, I want you to stay*

Okay, so I have a problem and in my crazy mind this is a huge problem. This post will probably be pretty disorganized because my mind is running rampant.

I recently met a guy that seems so amazingly perfect for me. Apparently there were some communication problems and I guess he thought that we were supposed to be in a relationship or something? I really don't know.

Here's the thing. I'm currently in a state of extreme non well-being (yeah, that's probably not the best way to put it but you know what I mean). I need help getting my ass back in gear. I absolutely HAVE to finish this final college course that I'm working on and I have not been able to achieve this on my own. I know, I shouldn't have to use other methods to get things done but that is how I feel it needs to happen right now. I have a very good friend that I trust very much that I have been seeing in order to get some spanking action in. He is just a friend. I believe that if I decided to go towards the discipline aspect of things for my problem, he would be more than willing to help and I would trust him to do this.

Now, here's the BIG issue. The new guy that I'm interested in being in a relationship with is living far away at the moment and will not be moving here for 6 months. He says there are other ways we can go about helping me with this problem (with talking it through and self-spanking). Now, that has NEVER really worked well with me before. I've been thinking about it and I just do NOT think this will work. I need real time discipline for what I'm going through because this is a highly pressing issue (the school work) that needs to get done NOW (and my dumb ass can't do it by myself!). A lot of my problem is self-confidence issues as well. There's a lot to it but I won't go into that.

The new guy wants me to not see or get spanked by anybody at all until he gets here. Now, in my head I'm thinking..."but what if the relationship doesn't work out?" "what if I end up not receiving my diploma because of this?," "what if he is just another liar," etc.

I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to try to make it work with this guy but we've only just met, and I've been hurt before. I guess I'm at that point where I am ready to settle down. Which in another way sucks, because I've been interested in others before and such. But he'll be living here in 6 months.

If I tell this new guy how I feel honestly and he doesn't accept it, then I lose the chance of the possibility with him forever.

I don't know what to say anymore, I don't know what to do. I'm so sick over this.

Hi Bonnie!You're right, my first priority at this time is to finish this course, no matter what it takes. I don't want to snuff out the possibility of the relationship at all but he doesn't seem to want to talk to me if I decide to have a friend that I know and trust discipline me. So, what choice do I really have? I could continue to talk to him and get discipline from my friend but I would end up feeling like I was lying to the new guy by not telling him. You know? He just doesn't seem to want to listen to me and that worries me a lot. Thank you hun,