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Annie: Teenager's friend complains about being left out

Annie's Mailbox

DEAR ANNIE: I’m 16 years old, and I have two best friends, “Krystina” and “Tayler,” who mean the world to me. Lately, Krystina has been full of drama. She often says she feels left out and hurt. But, Annie, we never do anything without including her.

Recently, she’s been pulling this whole “you guys never tell me anything until two weeks later” thing. But I usually tell her everything at the same time I tell Tayler. She even knows stuff about me that Tayler doesn’t. But she claims that Tayler tells me personal things that she doesn’t repeat. That’s not true, and Tayler confirmed that the three of us learn everything at the same time. If we miss something, it’s because it’s so unimportant that we forget.

But I will admit that sometimes I withhold things because I know Krystina will judge me and make me feel bad when I need her support the most. Still, those times are rare, and I always tell her relatively soon. Yet when I say this to her, it’s like we have two different versions of reality.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to lose Krystina’s friendship. I feel terrible that she’s hurting over this, but I have no idea how to change it. I can’t text her every time I dye my hair or buy a hamburger, and neither can Tayler. But then, neither does Krystina. So what do we do? — Stuck in the Middle

Three-way friendships are sometimes hard to navigate, particularly in high school, when hormones are running rampant and emotions are harder to control. Krystina’s reality actually is a little different, and we suspect she feels she is competing for your affection. The best you can do is frequently reassure her that you value her friendship, think she’s a great person and want to stay close.