John Otway takes stock

After some serious discussions about Otway The Movie with its star, I decided that John Otway should take stock of the situation, as today’s photo shows, at the Kings Arms Old English Fete in Arundel yesterday. I had half an idea to volunteer myself to go into the stocks at the fete with all proceeds going to the Snowdrop Trust, the idea being that I should donate half of the of the sale price of my book to this worthy cause, for anyone willing to pay £10 for a copy and to have the opportunity to show their faith in my writing by showing their appreciation in the stocks. Wisely, I decided that, on balance, anyone with the foresight and taste to want to buy my book would baulk at the idea of abusing the author, so a quick stock take resulted.

Earlier, my old pal and madman Nigel “Medina Palms” Rowley and I had gone for a walk around Arundel which took in the Iconic Arundel Castle Cricket ground, before meeting up with Currencies Direct customer John Otway for a pre fete pint. I think Splat The Rat was the other highlight of the event (although to be fair, perhaps not for the rat) before, with the fete duly officially opened by Mr Otway, we heading back to the White Hart for a late lunch. A less accomplished writer than myself may have made a joke about it being a fete worse than death for the rat, but as regular readers will know my now there is very little chance of my mentioning any joke like that.

Otway in the stocks

So today, the brief sojourn in England will come to an end, sadly not enjoyed by that Really Not Very Well Nice Lady Decorator, who has struggled through flu like symptoms throughout. Gatwick calls and the delights of the south of France await.

I have sent the Madman from Medina Palms ahead, loaded down with Pimms and Salad Cream, as he will be arriving in Valbonne on Wednesday. Anyone with any taste knows that the French version of Salad Cream, a vastly inferior concoction known as mayonnaise, is a pale and unsatisfactory substance which cannot hold a candle to the real thing, but as it is very expensive to buy in France it is always advisable to have people driving down to Provence with vehicles, load up with their valuable merchandise. The same is true of Pimms, especially as That Nice Lady Pimms Drinker now has a dedicated new container with a tap for serving it.

So this is farewell to the UK for a few weeks, and thus it was vital that I should have one last evening communing with English beer. Several pints of Harvey’s were sent to meet their maker last evening at The White Hart. I had planned to be at the last night of the Arundel Festival as Screamin’ Lez was scheduled to appear, but seeing around 40 local musicians on stage, and faced with a crowd 4 deep at the bar, my resolve crumbled and I thought fish and chips and a pint would be a fitting end to the English section of summer, and so it would have been had the chippy been open after 9pm. What utter commercial stupidity! Many hundreds of hungry festival goers had to throng the Co-op, which had sensibly remained open until its normal 10pm closing time, because of the commercial ineptitude of the chip shop owners. Perhaps they did not know it was festival night? Maybe the owners are French? It is the sort of commercial suicide one might see over there. I would have said they could have sold 100 meals had they remained open for an hour.