Hey Rachel, I met this guy at a party a couple of months ago through mutual friends. This guy is a player. I know I should run and probably never look back. I don't know...

I met this guy at a party a couple of months ago through mutual friends. This guy is a player. I know I should run and probably never look back. I don't know why I like him but I do. I used to be the girl who ignored players but there is something about him that I just can't let go of.

All our communication has been through texting. And since I'm in love with your blog I know that you think that "technology is part of a relationship, but it's not a substitute for one" and that is true but we don't really have a relationship.

Every time we have texted I've been the one to start but then we usually keep it going for two hours or so. He said that I can't know if a player wants to "settle down" or not and I told him that I know that he plays his games and that I'm over stuff like that and he said that I'm already a part of "the game." So, before this turns into a he-said-she-said, the texting stopped with him saying that I should think of a day when I wanted to meet up and call him. But he never really directly asked me out and I never called him because I felt like I always was the one who took the first step.

A few weeks later, I had a lonely "watching-Bridget-Jones-diary-and-eating ice cream" night and I texted him at 2 am asking if he was sleeping. I felt like I was doing all the talking, that he was cocky, and he would say stuff like " you are weird but cute" and that offended me.

I'm totally clueless and I don't know what to do. Writing this I'm realizing that he is actually a bit of a jerk. So, I like a jerk. What do I do? Do I get over him? And how do I do that? Do I contact him? Will he ever contact me? I'm thinking about this guy every second of everyday and it is driving me crazy. Help, please.

Cindy.

Hey girl,

Since you already know me so well J, I'm going to answer this in a different way. Because I think you know what I'm going to say about this guy: lose him. Eliminate. Delete, adios, later, tty-never again. Et cetera.

The bigger question here is this: why are you into players at all? And why, for that matter, are so many of us? Why do we like jerks?

The answer almost always has to do with how we grew up. What we learn in our earliest and closest relationships usually becomes the template, or model, for the way we have later intimate connections.