You Sure Are A Lot Uglier In Person

Inside Counsel Magazinehas a humor feature called Strange Suits. Each month they send me summaries of four oddball lawsuits. I sketch out ideas, the editors pick the one they like best.

And the winner is: Subcribers are suing an online matchmaking company, claiming many of the site’s profiles are inactive or fake. They claim the bogus profiles are used
as bait to get people to join and pay a monthly subscription fee. Scroll down to see the sketches for all four cases.

IHOP, the International House of Pancakes, decided to drop a suit against the International House of Prayer, a church using the same acronym: IHOP. The pancake house had originally claimed trademark infringement, and argued that
the public might associate the pancake house with a particular faith.

A suit involving rival kitty litter manufacturers. An ad campaign claimed that cats prefer one brand to the other. Arm & Hammer is arguing that Clorox’s independent study– which involved cats choosing between two litter boxes– was flawed.

Congressman Dennis Kucinich is suing a Congressional cafeteria over a “dangerous” sandwich wrap it sold him in 2008. Kucinich is suing for $150,000, and claims the sandwich contained unpitted olives which caused dental injuries, pain and suffering.

And here’s the original sketch for the matchmaking site with the phony profiles:

These are great! I once found a pit in a Lean Cuisine entree that had olives in it. I took a pic of it because I thought I should but didn’t do anything about it. Who knows, maybe that could have been my (insert count Dracula voice here) one million dollar law suit? Mooo haaahaaa!

I’ve never received a comment in a, er, Countess Dracula voice. It was pretty scary, but… thoroughly enjoyable! And I’m very glad you weren’t injured by The Pit From The Lean Cuisine– which sounds like a true horror!! Many thanks for your good-humored visit.

Listen, my cats, Pedro and Evita, are willing to testify that in fact one kitty litter is better then the other (to protect themselves they will not identify which kitty litter is better.) My cats are remaining quiet on IHOP issue because I think they too are using that acronym (International House of Pussy). As far as Congressman, the cats he is full of pit. Loved your sketches!

Ridiculous lawsuits are ridiculous! But that’s the American way I suppose. I think the Dating website case could hold up, if they have proof the company put up the fake profiles, instead of subscribers lying about their looks.

Ah, Tim, you’re too kind– thanks so much. Yes, that look of chagrin– I’ve had it many times myself! Being Freshly Pressed came as a complete shock– the best part is, I’ve gotten to meet so many great people. Cheers!

What great stuff! Your style is clean, simple, and expressive. Those are classic traits that a lot of today’s artists seem to forget about while developing their hyperuse of crosshatching. And above all, you know how to tell a story in a single panel.

Why are you trying to memorize cases? Although I use to make up little dittys to remember legal princples like res ipsa locquitor. Anyway the illustrations are top notch. Any chance of setting some of them to music?

Memorize cases? I can hardly remember my passwords… : ) Res Ipsa Locquitor? Sounds like a sure #1 that would, um, speak for itself… : ) The only illustration I’ve set to music is this group caricature of the Dave Clark 5. Just scroll down to the third image and hit the Play button. Thanks a lot for stopping by!

Women think a sense of humor is sexy? I’m glad you told me– I’m going to come out of my corner where I’ve been sitting behind the potted plant… : ) Thanks so much for subscribing– I shall do my best to keep you smiling.

I once found a pit in my TV dinner– boy am I glad I didn’t find a pendulum.
But in all seriousness, I enjoyed the humor in your post. The cartoons require no caption; a trait few cartoonist do not possess.

Aha so what you trying to say is that american society has become based on an single idea, an idea where “sometimes you just gotta say… wtf” is at the core; and the outcome is, naiveness and obscurity. In the sense that petty things, vanity, social stature, social acceptance and who can make the quickest buck, screwing people over flourish and people are no longer real because the true nature of realism in the general populous is the minority, and the pop culture that has become america is worried about their own individual wants, not their needs or the needs of anybody else as a whole. Individualism with the illusion of freedom so in return we are a country of sheep, just following the herd, being comfortable but unaware of our broken society, broken american culture, which is tainted and unrealistic.

“When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man’s concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses, for art establishes the basic human truths which must serve as the touchstone of our judgement.” JFK

As someone who has used online dating services in the past, I believe there is a bait and switch mentality going on, or that some of the “profiles” aren’t real. How else can I explain lack of responses? lol

Point taken. Early on, I tried different settings, including those completely outside a courtroom. However, the editors have always preferred a courtroom scenario, and over time it’s become the standard for the feature. Many thanks for stopping by.

Great stuff!
I did some internet dating: in fact, met my wife that way, but I did meet a fair number of mis-reresentations as well . . .

The very idea of ‘rival kitty litter manufacturers. ‘ made me smile!

My favourite lawsuit was when Philip Glass sued Audi for using a piece of music for a TV commercial, taken from one of Glass’ works. The judge rejected the claim on the basis that he couldn’t see that the music of Philip Glass had anything notable or distinctive about it . . .

Mark Loved the blog!! Congrats on being Freshly Pressed, well deserved.

I love cartoons. I have an animated cartoon that I do every Saturday on my blog, I use xtranormal, so I don’t have any original drawings on there, but maybe you can draw me singing or something…..I would like that .

very inspiring and well thought!
nice illustration as well ! i guess it was from such as great sense of humour that the truth behind the sketches was not so bitter to swallow but fun to accept and work on to make the world a better place…
Keep it up! really love it^_^

What a lovely compliment, thank you. There’s a place for satire and biting humor, but I think the best (healthiest) laughter comes when we laugh at ourselves (universal human foibles) rather than at other people. I fear you’re giving me too much credit, but I shall try to live up to your very kind assessment.

i am subscribed to “freshly pressed”. Now guess where i find this blog? Your illustrations are awesome. I wish the local newsletter in Ethiopia has humor feature called strange suits, which will probably be empty week after week. The lawsuits in here are as fun as in America anyway. But you are absolutely right: Humor multiplies its power 🙂

After reading your comment, I shall always think of Ethiopia as a place where humor is alive and well– because you, my friend, are living there. Thank you for your kind comment, and for helping to multiply the humor here at my blog! : )

I enjoy the chance to work in B&W that this feature gives me. I’ve always liked the classic pen and ink wash look of “golden age” magazine cartoons. Like old films, they seem to have a kind of power one can’t capture with color. Thanks for your very kind comments, I sincerely appreciate your support!

Wow! I’m always amazed when someone can put ideas onto paper in the way that you do. Much as a baker makes an amazing cake, but you don’t have a recipe! I’m truly impressed! Are you syndicated? Your cartoons should be in newspapers across the land! Peace, T.

After reading your comment, I’ve decided to wear a chef’s hat while I work… : ) Must confess, not all my recipes work– I’ve had many cakes that fell flat! Never had any luck with syndication, sad to say, but bolstered by your enthusiastic support, I shall press on… : ) Thanks so much for your lovely comment.

Thanks, Jean. Yes, recognized you straight away as a fellow TT fan. Getting “pressed” has been quite an experience. Wonderful to think there are so many kind and supportive people out in cyberspace– you being an obvious example! : ) Keep cycling, and thanks so much for your kindness and encouragement.

Thank you for your very kind comment. I’m flattered. I’m glad you found the site helpful, you are always very welcome here. It’s hard getting started, but don’t get discouraged. One step at a time. –or should I say one sketch at a time? : ) Good luck, and thanks for stopping by!

The Suing Culture… yes, welcome to America! Perhaps we should replace the Statue of Liberty with a Statue of Litigation– she could be holding a big gavel instead of a torch… say, that sounds like a good idea for a cartoon! : ) Many thanks for your kind comment.

You’re very kind, thank you. Do you draw yourself, then? FWIW: When I look at drawings of mine from years ago, I feel embarrassed. They seem very crude and unsophisticated. But I can see now that it was a stage I needed to work thru. If you draw, keep at it, and remind yourself that you are “on the path.” Cheers and many thanks for stopping by!