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These forums are a place where you can ask other young people advice on dealing with tough times and share your advice on what has worked for you. Please remember that it does not replace professional advice.

Topic:
Family isn't always blood

I have created this thread for all the foster kids out there and all of those who are treated badly by their families. I am/was a foster kid in the Australian System. I came to be there because I was physically, psychologically and emotionally abused by my family. My step-dad would lock me in my room for weeks/months on end and if i made the tiniest peep or did anything he deemed wrong. My mum did nothing to help me and my three siblings and through court, even after she told me to stop lying and that she was disappointed in me. before that my siblings and I were physically abused by her previous boyfriend and ex-boyfriends brother sexually abused me and my sister (my mum wasn't aware until years later). I went through the system bouncing from home to home facing abuse almost everywhere I went. My siblings and I were split up and are no longer close. I have gone through years of counselling to bring me to the point I am at now. I forgave my mum and stepdad and they had a child together. even with all that I am now facing homelessness. I'm living at my boyfriends mothers until I can get my own place. I'm now estranged from my parents because the more i better my life the more they seem to pull away and drag me down. My next closest sibling and I have never got along but my parents cant seem to be able to have a healthy relationship with the both of us they always need to be fighting with one of us. Today I have my dog in a kennel being paid for by CPFS because i need him for safety purposes (my bio dad is a heavy drug addict who has tried to harm my family many times), I'm homeless and I have almost nobody I am on speaking terms with that I am related to (my Nanna - bio dads mum - is always there if i need to talk but she lives on the other side of the country). however i have found family in those I'm not related to. My boyfriend and his family. My friendship group and my case manager are the family I have. So if my story is similar to yours don't be afraid to step away from your family if their abusive and you DON'T HAVE TO FORGIVE THEM!!! Just because you are related by blood doesn't mean they can hurt or control you in unhealthy ways. Remember family isn't blood its the people in your life who want you in there's. they are the ones who would do anything to see you smile. You are not alone and there are thousands of us who understand. If you need help then please seek it, you don't need to live with it no matter what.

Hi Funny and welcome to Beyond Blue. One dear family member of mine was born by different parents and left home because of physically, psychologically and emotionally abused by her family. eventually we met and became family because I treated her as such. She was amazed that a bloke could be trusted as much after the way she was treated by blood family. I really hope things work out for you