Sometimes, you alter life. Sometimes, life alters you.

Remedies/Relief

01/24/2012

Imagine, you're outside walking down the sidewalk. The sun is shining. The birds are singing. The air is fresh. And YOU are completely aware life is a gift and a miracle to be treasured.

Then, suddenly, without warning, you stub your toe...not a small stub either. A BIG stub...like your toe is broken.

You no longer appreciate the sunor the breezeor the beauty.You know they're there,but the toe gets all of your attention (as it should).But, for how long?That's the question.

That is my summation of how Mark Nepo describes life with chronic pain/illness. As a cancer survivor, Mark reflects on his journey in The Book of Awakening which was recently featured on Oprah's Super Soul Sunday. He also recently suffered from a mysterious stomach illness that had him reeling in agony from even the smallest bite of food.According to Mark:

Each of us are ancient flutes made out bones.Our holes, hollowed out by pain, create beautiful music.Still, being hollowed out is never fun in the process.

"Were you afraid to die?" asked Oprah."I was afraid to live." replied Mark.Fear is all consuming with chronic illness...he reminds.

We're afraid of the past...going back to the hospital, being bedridden again, re-visiting old symptoms.We're afraid of the present...having an "attack," not being able to handle an "attack," being misunderstood, being judged, doing too much, not doing enough.We're afraid of the future...What's going to happen to us? Is there an end to the suffering? Will life ever be somewhat normal again?Yes. That sums it up exactly.

How do you overcome/alter that experience?

I'll let Mark speak for himself on that one (well worth the few minutes to watch). In the meantime, I hope this helps your pain becomes a little more "right-sized."

12/29/2011

If you ask me, three sounds like a reasonable number (I chomp, not lick). To others, 10 is far more likely (or conservative). Scientific experiments range from 144-411.

It's funny: defining the indefinable. While we like to think in absolutes, there are always other factors "clouding" the outcome: preferences, sample/data contamination, time, environment, knowledge (to name a few).

Will a fresh, NEW pop break down more quickly that an old one?Good question.What if a person has a really large, wet, acidic tongue? Does that matter?How big is the pop?Miniature? Jumbo? Is that taken into consideration?What's the temperature of your mouth? Is it full of other things?Can't melt candy when your mouth's full of meatloaf.Is the wrapper off?LOL...

While it may seem like a strange analogy, that's the dilemma faced by me and numerous other Lyme/chronically ill patients.

12/01/2011

Ok. Technically, I should have posted this yesterday. Can you tell this day to day thing is getting harder and harder to keep up with? I have this cat on my lap, a daisy growing out of my head, blah, blah, blah.

Ohhh...and I crapped a whole pile of worms--I am assuming from the sodium phosphate in my colonoscopy prep.

Sodium Phosphate (abbrev. Nat Phos.)...is "the remedy of choice for intestinal worms and other parasites."SERIOUSLY...wish I would known THAT before taking horse meds and my last internet purchase.Yes. That's sarcasm.

11/16/2011

In the world of Chinese Medicine, if you want to detox, try an UNDA. Or, in some cases, three or four. Then, pray for progress.

UNDA numbers, a homeopathically prepared low-dose of plants and minerals, drain impurities on a cellular level. Each number targets a different organ or organs. Some stimulate. Some calm. All encourage healing--particularly in stressed, overworked, chronically ill bodies.

Finding your perfect combination of UNDAs is a bit like being Goldilocks; testing vial after vial, until you find the right one. Through a process called muscle testing, you hold small vials of compound and "resist" as the practitioner presses against your outstrectched hand or arm.

-UNDAs that strengthen you (think Popeye and spinach) are considered compatible. -UNDAs that weaken you (think Superman and Kryptonite) get eliminated.

From there, you're prescribed a specific formulation...usually a combination of three or four numbers.

10/29/2011

If you're anything like me, you probably have a closet full of prescriptions. My GU treatment alone, contains 16+ Chinese herbs. There are yeast treatments, vitamins, pain medications, antibiotics, antivirals, sleeping medications, and more...prescribed by four plus doctors.

I rarely take pain pills. Although I could, I don't like how they make me feel. I also prefer to stick to homeopathic stuff. That said, when my left arm had me writhing in tears last night, the Flexiril prescription hanging on my fridge seemed like a God send.

At 2:00 in the morning, I stumbled into Walgreens: no bra, uncombed hair, plaid pajama bottoms, crying, holding my arm.

The Pharmacist: You wanna wait for it?Me: Do you get a lot of people coming in the middle of the night wearing pajamas in tears who DON'T want to wait for it?Him: It'll be right out.

Me (grabbing the bag before leaving): Do you know if these interact with any herbs?Pharmacist: Unfortunately, we don't have a lot of information on that. With the major ones like St. John's Wort or Melatonin, maybe, but not other stuff.

I decided to risk it.

Before doing so, however, I did cross-check this script with others in my stockpile. The results surprised me.

Favorite IV Nurse (examining the Tupperware-like syringe filled with sticky, magenta snot):Tell me what happened. You did the Heparin, right? Were you having trouble pushing? What happened before that?Me (interceding, trying to explain what went down):We used Lidocaine. We also used a vasodilator. When we put the Heparin in, something felt wrong. I became hot/flushed--like I was going into shock and peeing my pants. Later, I got a metallic taste in my mouth. We thought the Hep went in too fast or it was a reaction to the topical stuff...

Worried, we stare at the three-foot plastic tube running from the syringe to the needle to my arm. It's filled with coagulated blood--blood that before we stopped was being PUSHED back into my veins (a part of my twice weekly UVBI treatment).

Now, the big question...Did the clotted blood come from me or go into me?Neither seems like a good scenario.

Favorite IV Nurse:I don't think it's YOU. I'm 99.9% sure this problem occurred in the line. Based on what you're telling me, I don't think you were given Heparin. I think you were given Magnesium. That's the only thing I know that would cause flushing like that...

Cliff note: Heparin is a blood thinner administered during UVBI to prevent clotting.

More confusion.

Snoogs (looking horrified):I'm sure I used Heparin. I remember looking at the bottle.

Me (trying to understand the impact): If we didn't, then what?

For a few minutes, I'm given the rundown/once over: How magnesium won't hurt me...how this amount is less than I would have received in an IV nutritional...how I should stay for a while...just to be safe.

In between, there are thermometers, blood pressure cuffs, pulse checks, and stethoscopes.

A little ways in, the coast seems clear. Then, as I get up to go to the bathroom, I notice it: a stabbing pain in my right thigh.

Favorite IV Nurse: How you doing???Me (getting scared):I'm not sure. I have this really weird pain in my leg.

Snoogs (forgetting I can hear her): CRAP! Do you think she threw a clot???Immediately, the doctor is called. While we wait, I think of every clot horror story I've ever known: My former boss who died when a clot went to his brain...A previous customer who got blood clots in his legs after being on an airplane...A girl I used to work with at Pizza Hut in 1988...

Doc: I don't think it's a clot. If it was a clot, it would travel from the IV site (my arm) to your heart or your brain.

Me: This leg pain's not normal. If there was a problem, how would I know?

Doc: You would know.

Me (half joking/half not): Sure...if I died from an embolism. Other than that, what should I look for?

He rattles off a bunch of stuff: swelling, chest pain, headache, cold hands/feet, area that's hot to the touch. For a more complete list of things, go here.

Snoogs: Should we give her Heparin?

Doc: You can take baby aspirin...it shouldn't be a problem though. Clots dissolve naturally in the body.

The tension was palpable.

As I leave, I try to comfort Snoogs...who looked sadly like a frightened four-year old.

Me (not wanting her to blame herself if I die in my sleep): We don't know what caused this...if you mixed something up or something else. Either way, it's ok (making her look me in the eye). Stuff happens.

It's been a scary 24-hours: a parade of friends babysitters, telling Angel (who's in DC) what to do in case of emergency, debates over whether to go to my general doc or the ER, stopping herbs, starting baby aspirin, watching for symptoms, researching the impact of injecting clotted blood into the body.

10/16/2011

What's orange, gross, and cost $35? My foot bath..of course, but it didn't start out that way. In truth, I wasn't expecting much from the process...just some R & R time with my girlfriend. Still, give me the opportunity to detox or feel better and I'm in. Happily, I set my alarm for 9:30, got dressed, and drove across town.

Three tolls later, there I am--feet first in a plastic tub full of warm water. Inside are sea salts and some electric generator looking unit. To my right, what looks like a dying car battery. For five LONG minutes, the technician gives what I can only assume is her standard foot detox spiel...

The motor makes a current. Blah, blah, blah. It pulls out toxins. Blah, blah, blah. It's not regulated by the FDA. Blah, blah, blah. It doesn't cause a healing crisis.

I interrupt to ask if it does anything to address heavy metals.

The short answer? She can't say that. The long answer? "A man with parasites expelled worms through his feet once. His wife did too. They were on vacation. It was the craziest thing. Detox baths are good for you." Not exactly answering the question, but interesting.

The process doesn't hurt. It's even relaxing. For a while, my feet sting and go numb, but that happens in my La-Z-Boy...none the less in a tub full of hot liquid. By the end, my water's thick with black flecks....a sign I'm expelling toxins--I'm told. Except for a headache (which is probably unrelated), I feel no different.

Detox foot bath, before and after.

Update: I did sleep like a rock last night. Don't know if it was because of this or something else, but, if this had anything to do with it, it was $35 well spent.

Altered Today: Toxic Sludge (hopefully), Girl Time.

PS To learn how Ionic Foot Baths work, go here. To see why people think they are a scam, go here.

Note for the scam video people. Next time, run the unit without the carrot. After all, carrots probably have toxins...don't you think???

Me (to my friend):WOW! That is A LOT of information. My eyes are already bugging out my head. I think from the chart. My Friend (God Bless her researching heart):Skip the chart, go directly to the A1289C information, grasp it and then read from the beginning - it will be so much easier.

Not one to completely follow directions, I go to the instructed page, look at the first sentence, then skim down...trying to get to the good stuff. All I see? Another list of foods to avoid.

09/17/2011

It's 6:24. I'm in my chair, ready to write a blog post. The only problem? I'm preoccupied. I can't think about cats or cuddling or Lyme or life. All I can think about is how my tongue feels like it's going to fall off. Yes...it's true. I am battling a horrific case of oral thrush (otherwise known as Candidiasis).

Now, if you've never had oral thrush, let me just say this: It's not fun. Your mouth feels like it's on fire. Your breath stinks. Eating is painful. And, it's a bear to get rid of.

Option #3--CandidaEX (recommended by a friend). She SWEARS this is the only thing that helped her. I'm just concerned it will react negatively with the herbs I'm taking (which, by the way, are ALSO supposed to be eliminating this nonsense).

ALTER EVERYTHING What do you get when you combine a creative, Type A personality with Chronic Lyme Disease? A choice: A) Be swallowed whole or B) Reinvent yourself--daily.
Alter Everything is my quest to respect "A" and embrace "B" as much as possible. Here, I recount my daily adventures in pursuit of an altered life. –Kathy Tagudin