Thursday, September 23, 2010

I work with a great diverse group of people. I have blogged about Bangchi before, she is originally from China and I have worked with her for more than 10 years. She was leaving work yesterday and told me that last night was the Chinese moon festival. Here's our conversation:Bangchi: Hey tonight is the moon festival.Ozzy: Does that mean you are going to moon people?Bangchi: What?Ozzy: Is that where you moon people?Bangchi: I don't understand.Ozzy: Google it.

Bangchi gets on the elevator to leave and about 5 minutes later I get a text, "Y r a bad boy". I knew she meant "U" not "Y".

I get the story from her this morning about how she found out.She gets out of the elevator to leave and greets another member of the department Rodney. This is my understanding of how the conversation went.

Rodney: Hey Bangchi, great to see you.Bangchi: Can I ask you a question, "What is a moon people?"Rodney: What?Bangchi: I was telling Ozzy that tonight was the moon festival and he asked if I was going to moon people.

Rodney, laughing turns his back to her and pretends to pull the back end of his pants down.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Once a year my office travels to a state park for 4 days of training. More than 100 people. Most born in the 80s. Each night there is what turns out to be a late night party at the state park cabins. This year I stayed in the lodge but got a ride to where the party was. After a few beers, I decided it was time for me to leave. I looked at the clock, it was about 12:15. It didn't look like my ride was ready to go yet, so I thought I'd just get some exercise and walk the distance from the cabins (a mile at the most) back to the Inn.

I had stayed in this state park several times before, and I knew the way, piece of cake. A few steps down the road, i realized I had left my cell phone to charge in my room. No biggie people have been walking back home in the dark from bars for thousands of years without a cell phone.

There wasn't a star in the sky and the moon was dark. Walking to the main road was so dark the only way I could tell that I was actually walking on the pavement is how it felt beneath my feet. I must have missed the sign telling me which way the Inn was, because I didn't think I needed it.Somewhere between the cabins and the main road, something happened, I forgot I was at Pickwick State park (where you turn right to go back to the Inn) and Fall Creek Falls (where you turn left). Or vise-versa, hell i don't know. So, I think I am heading back to the lodge, and an old minivan approached me from the opposite direction that i was walking and the man asked if I was having car trouble or needed help. I said, "no, I'm good." I thought, "I haven't even finished this beer I have in my hand yet, I don't need a ride." That was the last car that I saw.

I walked, and walked. I thought to myself, "trust yourself man, you know you are going the right way, just keep walking."

You know one of those gates that they use to close off roads in state parks? I ran into one of those that was blocking what I thought was the road back to the Inn. Here I pondered, "this must not be right." By now I had long finished my beer, and I was getting thirsty. So, I turned around. And walked. I finally came back to the intersection that would take me to the cabins. I found the sign and with my face inches from it in order to read it, I confirmed that I had gone the wrong way.

Now I had to make a decision, do I go back to the cabin, grab a beer and join the party or maybe ask for a ride back to the Inn, or continue on the correct path and finish what I started.

Going back to the cabin is admitting failure, so I began the walk back to the Inn. I was wearing a black shirt and I knew there may be traffic, I knew there would be drunks on the road coming back to the Inn. So I took my shirt off. I had gone about a hundred yards when I was passed by a car. I knew it was someone going from the cabins to the Inn and sure enough, they stopped. Turns out it was Jeremey, who actually brought me to the cabins hours before. As they passed they are saying to each other, "who is that sweaty tattooed idiot walking down the street in the middle of the night? Oh, its Ozzy."