A column about writing columns

Posted 3/19/19

So, what do you write a column about? As the new year began at the H-C without Bob McMillan, longtime Herald-Citizen columnist (among other things) who retired, the three editors, Lindsay McReynolds, …

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A column about writing columns

Posted
Tuesday, March 19, 2019 10:03 am

So, what do you write a column about? As the new year began at the H-C without Bob McMillan, longtime Herald-Citizen columnist (among other things) who retired, the three editors, Lindsay McReynolds, Kate Cook and I began talking about how to replace the unreplaceable.
I volunteered to write a column as often as I can, which so far has been about twice or three times. Not all that reliable.
I warned them that I'm not Bob. Bob can weave humor in and out of a column. I'm more of a one-liner guy, and a lot of those I stole from Bob. So when he left, I got a lot less funny. (The folks in the newsroom might argue that I couldn't get any less funny.)
So I'm not really filling in for Bob, I'm just filling up 500 words of space on the Opinion page.
See, you just read about 150 words, and I still haven't really said anything. Apparently, that's what column writing is all about.
So, what to write about?
Politics? Not in the current climate. Nobody wants to discuss anything. They just want to get mad and unsubscribe and yell at you.
Religion? See politics, above. Also, wrong section.
Sports? Wrong section, plus, when I write about sports, that just ticks off athletic directors and coaches. Over the years, I've even offended the ambulance service.
Family? They didn't sign up for this. Plus Susan Ray has family covered Wednesdays on the Living page.
And we've got quirky covered with Jenny Ivey each Sunday. She even wrote about pimento cheese.
Space program? I grew up in the '60s, the golden age of space exploration. Most of the rest of you just don't care anymore. But since this year is the 50th anniversary of Apollo 11, there will be a space column this summer.
Traffic? Been there, done that. However, that's an easy fall back if I get stuck for a topic.
Pets? Since they can't read and react, this may be the perfect topic, but that's another section, as well.
The weather? A promising topic, but still, no one will do anything about it.
Food? We've got Drucilla Ray for that (Thursdays on the Living Page).
I edited the Opinion page for several years, and read a lot of columnists trying to get the right mix of content on the page. And I greatly admire those who crank out columns, some two or three a week.
What do they write about? Umbrellas and strange shopping trips and holidays with family. Politics (they don't have to answer the phone, or run into their readers in the grocery store). People they know, or knew.
So, what am I going to write about? You just never know. But let me give you a hint. I have one column about Cookeville drivers that I'm holding in reserve for one of those weeks when I have no idea what to write about.
If you see something about turn signals, you'll know I couldn't come up with anything.

Don Foy is news editor for the Herald-Citizen. His email address is don.foy@herald-citizen.com.