Saturday, May 13, 2017

How to handle a Kiss Cam

A private friendzoning is a punch to the nuts, but a public friendzoning….well that’s just a drawing and quartering of a man’s soul. Unnecessary cruelty. A day-spa visit to the Chateau imbibing the lessons herein could’ve saved this man such a public humiliation. Not to mention spared him the time and energy he’s obviously wasted chasing a phantom pussy.

There is only one correct way to handle a Kiss Cam, regardless of whether you are a Stone Cold Alpha or a delusional Gamma out with your Dream Girl Who Cries On Your Shoulder.

Make a confused face.

Point at her with your rear hand, i.e. the one on the side away from her.

16 comments:

I think this might highlight the difference between beta orbiter and male friend. If you are a beta orbiter, it's awkward because she is not just not attracted to you... she is disattracted and would be embarrassed/disgusted to be seen romantically entangled with you. Why are you even there? Oh, right, to see the game. And she's there for the free night out.

If you were actual BFFs... OK, let's posit a gay dude or a man-looking dyke who gets caught in the kiss cam with the girl. She may feel no attraction for her ugly/gay friend, but she would probably kiss he/she/it and wave at the camera, laughing. Why? Because she genuinely does not see them as sex objects. A hypothetical straight male friend could get the same treatment.

So this is how you know that beta orbiters are actually being played, and it's not just a hilarious sitcom style misunderstanding. She does see them as sex objects and rejects them.

PDA, especially if it's planned and prompted, strikes me as intrinsically beta. The elaborate, saccharine marriage proposal phenomenon that the Chateau likes to skewer on occasion is perhaps the epitome of this.

I attempted to leave comments about this at Heartiste, but they disappeared in moderation.

My point: First off, why are there even "kiss cams" in ballparks? We're not there for bachelorette parties. We're there to watch the game.

With that in mind, they already have our money. We don't owe them sh*t. We don't owe it to anyone to acknowledge their idiotic camera and performed like trained seals.

Throwing your hot dog and drink at the "kiss cam" and getting thrown out is a more alpha move that performing like an idiot -- even if the girl gives you a long, sexy kiss.

The point is the frame. These fat-lard cameramen and their Beta Losers from ESPN should not be calling the shots for anyone and telling them "Perform! If enough men went Rambo on the kiss cam, it would cease to be. Men need to train these types of other men -- like dogs.

For one, I consider this pretty childish. This is something that people do when they're teens who don't know any better. But we are adults now and bowing to peer pressure to kiss someone on camera is just dumb. Plus, imagine if the script was flipped. If he didn't kiss her, the outrage would be massive. I mean, she's so sweet, why do you humiliate her like that, you misogynist pig!

@DCShe’s also a closet slut... (with any guy with dark triad tendencies and rock hard frame). The hoop earrings are the tell. Every girl Ive ever known who wore hoop earrings had naughty slut tendencies.