Reality TV

Concept: Ten contestants, picked from a nationwide audition process held in local Bed, Bath & Beyonds are challenged to wash their hands in a public bathroom in a timely manner, with the least amount of splash-residue. At the end of a ten week competition, two will remain — and one will go away with $100,000, a brand-new hi-tech designed bathroom and a year’s supply of Dial Antibacterial Soap.

Why It’s A Winner: Next to climbing Mount Everest and eating three packets of saltine crackers in a minute without water…washing ones’ hands without leaving a general sink/water residue is the toughest skill to develop. Current unscripted TV shows give wannabe-chefs the chance to get a dream job doing what they love… Overweight folks get the chance to lose weight and win money… Even nerds and beauty-queens get the opportunity to exist outside their comfort zone and go home a winner. In comparison to Bathroom Splashers!, these previously aforementioned shows have only half the entertainment value.

What’s Entertaining About It? Bathroom Splashers! brings the most annoying part of using a public bathroom to your home entertainment experience. How often do you walk up to a public bathroom sink/countertop and find water everywhere…as if someone took a bath in the sink itself? That frustration bridges racial stereotypes, financial gaps and religious ideologies in this country (and the world). Everyone knows how tough it is to keep the water IN the sink and OFF the countertop. Everyone can eat a scorpion or a bull’s testicle, but keeping water in the sink? That’s tough cookies, folks. Watching hapless Bed, Bath & Beyond patrons try to win the big money by washing their hands will blow shows like The Amazing Race (or, as we like to call it The American Airlines Ticket Challenge) and Survivor out of the water (no pun intended).

How Can I Apply? Application details will be available as soon as this project is purchased by a major network or cable channel for production. I will keep you updated on this.

What some may or may not know is that one of the Executive Producers of that show was none other than The Hills’ Spencer Pratt. These days, Pratt is consistently being vilified by the mainstream press and rag mags along with his girlfriend Heidi. While I have watched the show and question what’s real and what’s not — I cannot question the fact that Pratt has always been very smart about business and buzz. So kudos to him for that.

While Pratt was definitely a driving force behind Princes, he was also gung ho about his first Producing opportunity and there was a moment I will never forget while we were developing the show that would become The Princes of Malibu. We had been brainstorming for hours about what the show would be, had come up with a board filled with hilarious moments for the psuedo-scripted show, and the following exchange took place:

Spencer Pratt: “Guys, this is awesome! Hey, if we win an Emmy — who gets to go up and accept it?”

Another Producer: “You.”

Spencer nods, excitedly. Then, a thought:

Spencer Pratt: “You know what guys!? When we win that Emmy? I’m taking ALL OF YOU up there with me. ALL OF YOU!!”

Accompanying said clapping with hilarious pointing at the person caught off-guard.

Open mouth, scream “ooooooh” while clapping and pointing.

Knee slapping to bolster oooh-ing, clapping, open-mouthed pointing.

Having to repeat, “no, this is a TV show” over and over again, while knee slapping, bolstered oooh-ing, open-mouthed pointing and clapping.

Joining in on the collective “woot woot woot-ing” that the higher-ups are doing.

Holding up camera that was once hidden as a way for “slower victims” to realize something was actually being filmed, from a hidden location… while woot woot woot-ing and slapping/oooh-ing/open mouthed pointing and clapping.

Let me also say that I had no idea she had a fake leg until I had been dating her for at least three or four dates. She either wore jeans or long pants and I was a respectful gentleman who didn’t go grabbing at her legs too soon in the social experiment. But let me tell you, technology had gotten so good at that point, that the leg itself (all colored and weighted to look and feel like a real leg) was extremely realistic enough to fool me.

But that’s not going to happen when Paul McCartney’s ex, Heather Mills, appears on Dancing With The Stars.

Not only has Brandon and Brody Jenner’s mother Linda filed for divorce this past week from step-dad David Foster, but after only two episodes being aired on FOX — the show is being moved to a less than stellar location called (wait for it)… The Fox Reality Channel!

Heard of it? Have it? Hate it?

Either way, if you enjoyed the show then you’ll be able to catch the remaining four episodes starting this Sunday at 8:30pm ET on the cable channel (DirecTV subscribers have it, I don’t know about the rest of you). If you didn’t enjoy the show then you can revile in the fact that re-runs of The Simpsons will return in its place.