In short, a few years ago, McSteamy and his wife Rebecca were hanging out with some former beauty queen turned Hollywood madame (alleged). They did some drugs, they took their clothes off, and they turned on the video camera.

Surprise!

The clip leaked online.

A photo of Rebecca with a crack pipe was recently also published in a tabloid, I think the National Enquirer?

Anyway, his lawyer subsequently released a statement:

"This is simply a private, consensual moment involving a married couple, shot several years ago, which was never intended to be seen by the public. Although the participants are nude, the tape is not a 'sex tape.' It is a private tape made for only my clients' personal use, and nobody has the right to exploit it. If anyone exploits the tape, they will be violating my clients' rights and will be exposed to significant liability."

Curious the language, non?

Like they had to go out of their way to insist that there was no sex?

Why?

Some say it’s a behaviour clause in his contract…?

He works for the MiniVan Majority’s favourite show under a Disney umbrella, he’s covering his ass in the event of a corporate smackdown? Right now it’s just a theory.

And of course for public opinion.

Because as you know before these scandals broke the two were trying to sell us on the wholesomeness of their relationship. Last year Eric told Ellen Degeneres that they were working on starting a family.

Totally.

Of course.

Rebecca with her track record and her various nefarious activities and friends would be the perfect parent, right?

Please.

As soon as she gets pregnant and starts mooning about motherhood and the beauty of life, forgiveness and “forgetness” will come quickly.

Motherhood is the great whitewash.

A bitch gets knocked up and suddenly she’s part of the sisterhood. Ovaries unite.