real life stories while slinging drinks. sarcasm included.

change is good

You are the most hated day of the week. Yet, I love you Monday. You and Sunday are my faves! You are my Friday Saturday. This morning, I sat back sipped my coffee and read all about how much Mondays suck for all of humanity on Facebook. Sorry 9-5’s this is payback for all your jolly TGIF posts.

Since its my Friday I started to clean. Fun, yes I know. I began with my dresser since it’s a cluster of bills, which I hate looking at. I came across my plastic cups full of change. This is the pit stop the change makes. I’m too lazy to walk into the closet and fill my water jug with them. You know like the water jugs you drink out of at the doctor’s office ? Yes. That kind. There’s about three plastic cups filled to the rim with change. Why all this change you ask?

Well, it’s not from my purse. It’s from the tips of those who still think it’s 1950.The ones who think the slot machines, that talk to you, still spit out coins from the bottom. The ones who think a phone call is still 10 cents. Wait, when is the last time you even saw a pay phone ? How did you get here sir, by horse? You do know the beer your drinking is about 5.50 at the bar and you’re getting it for free ?

(Side note: when you gamble at a casino you can order complimentary drinks. One per player and there are exceptions to what you can order. You must be playing meaning cash in machine people.)

One time this lady turned her purse inside out onto my tray. I literally picked LINT out of the pile of pennies. Maybe even a xanex. The best is when people have a guilty conscience. They will actually say, “Sorry this is all I have .” Me “It’s ok thank you.” Translation uh no it’s not you have about 150 dollars in the slot machine. Not ok.

I try to boost my self-esteem with the mantra, “It adds up girl, it all spends the same.” In the back when the girls (aka co-workers) ask how was your station tonight? My response is always lets see how heavy my tip cup is. If it’s light, I’m winning. If it’s heavy you know what kind of night I had.

Now that my coins are in order and my life feels lighter, I hope you all have, are having, or had a great Monday.