Just a gender-neutral male-biased transboy navigating a gendered society with a penchant for fashion and finding the perfect suit.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

On (not) Getting Older

[Originally posted on March 10th 2010]

To all my friends (who don’t yet actually read this blog)

Porch Nights. Remember those times? When it didn’t matter what else was going on around campus that night. When it didn’t matter if it was the beginning of a new semester, the start of a fucked up summer, or freaking well below zero, with several inches of snow on the ground, we were there, on a porch. Oh, there were a couple porches that go down in history (I’m not naming names…67 you dirty slut) but at the end of a day, or the beginning of a night it was on a porch where we would park it. With liquor in hand, cigarettes a plenty, and words to be said we would arm ourselves against the mind-bending struggle that was college. And we were there with each other, our friends, and we would get by.

So, then I find myself tonight with an overwhelming urge to go out onto my (very small) back porch. And while I am a sucker for having some quiet moments on a porch, enjoying the way nighttime air feels, and relishing the fact that it is not really that warm but I’m a tough New England-er so who gives a shit, overall the experience was not what I was looking for. And I realized, that I was looking for a Porch Night, capitol ‘P’, capitol ‘N’. I was looking for something stronger in my mug than just caffeine, and I was looking for more than just cool night air, I was looking for the friends, I was looking to get by with a little help.

However, don’t fret faithful readers, this is not a nostalgia piece. No, no, reminiscing about college is still a little too “fall down the rabbit hole” for me to do with any frequency. Not to mention I still have my fair share of college-esque displays on a weekly basis. So I don’t have to think back too far. No, this was more of a question. A question of when did we become adults? Or sort of adults. When did college even end? Was I ready for that? FUCK. YES I WAS. For the most part…

But still….where does it go from here? More responsibility perhaps, less time for porch nights, or at least less time to get high - excuse me, BY - with your friends. And the strongest thing you’re knocking back is Metamucil?! Yes, perhaps.

All in good time, my steadfast readers, all in good time.

But while I wait I plan on always living somewhere with a porch. Just in case. And also keeping a bottle of bourbon around for good measure…didn’t you know, hot toddies are an old person drink?