I knit a pair of socks when my sister died; I had to have a small, portable project to keep my mind focused, to give me something to do, something to keep from crying all the time, and socks seemed to fit the bill. These socks are from Done Roving's "Tapping Tootsies", a heavy fingering weight made from 60% superwash merino, 30% bamboo, and 10% nylon, in the color "Tangerine Twist". "Tangerine" by Jimmy Dorsey and his orchestra was the number 1 hit the day that Rachel was born. It seems fitting, somehow.

I have been working on the pink lacy cardigan out of some of Rachel's yarn. I fixed the tangling problem, but I was still struggling. There were so many stitches, the back and both fronts (including the button bands) are knit together, and I don't have the luxury of using a circular needle, so all those stitches were crammed onto one 14" needle. I left it languishing on the table a lot (on the up side, I got a lot of reading done!). However, as soon as the lace border was completed, the stockinette portion was a little easier, and it is going along well now.

It seem like an eternity of knitting, but I will be up to the underarm soon, and I'll be done the whole body of work; that's equivalent to the back and half a front done. The tops and sleeves should go quickly! I really like this pattern -- if it wasn't in mohair, it would be easier to handle. I would knit this cardigan again.

I am slowly coming out of my fog. It's hard to lose a sister as wonderful as Rachel was. Recently I looked through Ravelry at patterns and found a lot of projects I'd like to make, for Christmas, for myself, and just for fun. It's a good sign. I used to always knit Rachel something special for Christmas. Now I can knit for other people, with her spirit just over my shoulder, laughing at my many mistakes!