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Friday, 24 August 2012

The 'Just Married, Please Excuse' Contest

Since yesterday when I bumped
into this contest by Yashodhara whose debut book has been launched recently, my
blogging fingers itched to jot down few of the weird moments of our married
life. Also, how can I not mention the highlighted words which caught my attention
like “Mamagato”, “Gurgaon”, “free copies of book” and gave me a bleak hope that
being a blogger from Gurgaon might act as an added advantage in my favour. (errr kidding….huh! :-))

As I go through Yashodhara’s blog
and keep reading her previous posts, I regret why I have not been at her space
earlier….Anyway, better late than never!

So here I try to recap few
incidents related to our marriage and just after that.

Our marriage ceremony was packed
with ‘comedy of errors & misunderstandings’. All Baraatis dispersed & went back home
leaving few young cousins and an aunt of SG behind even before the completion
of marriage rituals due to some stupid misunderstandings. The groom side priest
took advantage of the situation and left hastily after them citing some weird
excuses without completing all the important rituals….like Saptapadi or Saat
pheras was skipped completely!!

In the midst of all these confusions,
while my side priest was conducting the ritual of ‘Sampradan /Kanyadaan’,
another funny incident happened which we noticed only when the video recordings
were seen later. SG’s knowledge of Bengali
language is quite limited…while he can speak it mixed with a perfect north Indian
accent, he, kind of struggles and gets confused if somebody speaks in fluent
Bengali. So we saw in the video that SG was trying hard to follow instructions
from our priest about when to repeat the ‘shlokas/mantras’, when to fold hands
and so on. When the priest asked my dad to repeat after him the mantras of
Kanyadaan, he also instructed SG to keep his hand on mine. GOD only knows what SG understood & the next thing we saw
him repeating the mantras of ‘Kanyadaan’ after the priest. So, in case we take
all these rituals seriously( I generally don’t..!) it indicates that my dad
performed my ‘Kanyadaan’ to SG and the ‘SG’
did my ‘Kanyadaan’ to GOD knows whom!!

This second incident falls completely in the category of ‘Just married’ if in case the first one fails to
make the entry because of the fact that we were still not ‘completely’ married
then.

At the
time of my ‘Grihapravesh’ in SG’s house, we had a seriously stupid ritual where
I (bride) had to hold a ‘live’ fish kept in a bowl of water with my hand for
couple of minutes!!!

Here I should
mention that I am a scaredy cat....I am very scared of any living being (except
human) on this earth. Forget about dogs or cats, I cannot even run fingers
through furry coat of a cute rabbit or birds or even pat an innocent cow. A
mouse or mole in vicinity can bring out the most ‘versatile’ dance out of me!!!

Anyway,
I digress. Now, when I had to hold that slimy moving fish I was petrified. Being
a new bride, I was even not able to refuse to participate in it outright. I tried to
put my best brave face forward, but, the very moment my fingers touched that
fish which wriggled away splashing water, all my acting skills botched. I
shrieked, jumped, shouted and people even witnessed that ‘versatile’ dance by
me duly applauded by my perfect hubby in the background!!

The
third incident happened just few days after my marriage when relatives had
dwindled back to their home and we were just enjoying our marriage vacation at my in-laws place.

One
evening I wanted to eat Momos, but in that city we don't get roadside stalls to buy momos easily like we get in Delhi NCR. I thought of bugging SG about it and
also test his ‘hubby skills’ to fulfill wife’s abrupt demands.

As SG
was in FIL’s shop that time so that my FIL can take some rest I tried calling
him on his cell phone. When I realized that he has forgotten his mobile phone
in his room, I called on the landline number.

Then suddenly I realized that it was my FIL’s
voice which I mistaken for SG. And how can I forget that SG is not the only ‘Ghosh’
here but I am surrounded by the whole ‘Ghosh’ clan. I hurriedly hung up and cursed my stupidity
for this ’face-palm’ moment!! When SG came to know about it…..like a perfect
hubby, he shared it with everyone in the family embarrassing me to the core.

While writing this post, I felt that walking down this
specific memory lane is quite fun. Thanks to this contest for letting me revive
this enjoyment.