Many tales have been spun by your worshipped and dashing
narrator, perhaps it is time for a change. Perhaps a new namesake
shall be taken on the space of my. Something a little less
forceful.

So there I was, minding my own business, and a shimmering light
came across me. Peering up with my one good eye, the thought had
been completed. Perhaps 'twas time for a something new and
improved. Perhaps Th0rn, shall be lain to rest, and a new, less
assuming, less infamous name shall take it's place. Something
more common, less glorious. Something to attract the maidens, yet
still retain thine stoic presence. Remain true onto thyself, me
thinks. Class with a capital K.

Welp, I see that "Dick Dangler" was quickly taken up.
"I taught yur gurl that trick u like", is in popular
use. "Unaboner" has certainly established large mass of
fans. What shall be left for poor, lowly, humble Th0rn.

So there I was, with my new nick, Inspector Kitty. Neither too
brash, nor bold, me thinks. Off in search of adventures anew on
this space of my. The multiverse was now at me fingertips. The
maidens would swoon for certain and untold fortunes would lay in
wait. Posting my favorite Yule comment accompanied with a picture
from Cousin Eddie, "Merry Christmas, Shitter was full."
was the crowning achievement. Destiny was upon the horizon, and
with an Eternal's patient wait, your seductive storyteller was
certain that all was about to change.

A lone emo kid was heard coughing in the distance, and a sad
realization occurred, probably none other than myself had noticed
the change. Remember Billy, its down the lane, not across the
street, Th0rn snickered unto himself. The nick being now changed
back, and no apparent damage done. Did make contact with a new
maiden, Rough Kitty. But that is a story for another time, I am
certain.