This Site contains the stories of over 650 courageous survivors. Because stories are submitted at a much faster rate than I, and the kind volunteers, can possibly read them, we are momentarily closed for new submissions. If you wish to add your story, please come back in a few weeks or go to aftersilence.org. You may NOT publish, distribute, extract, re-utilise, or reproduce any part of these stories.
Proceed with caution as many of the stories can be highly triggering.

Now I don’t want anybody to think my dad is a bad guy, he is not, he is wonderful, I love him very much but sometimes I can’t stand him. I was about 10 when it happened for the first time, I fell asleep in my father's friends bedroom, I woke up and I felt somebody touching my vagina, just feeling it and I was whispering Wally because that is who I thought it was. Then I kind of thought it was somebody I didn’t know. I was moving around trying to stop him touching my vagina. He took my hand and put it in his pants. I pulled my hand out and got out of bed yelling Wally! But it was my dad. I was quiet for abut a year, and then it happened at our summer house when I was 11. I fell asleep in my dad's bed and woke up to him touching me. I told him to stop. He felt my breast and then stuck his tongue in my mouth, I pushed him away and then he stopped. My mom walked in shortly after and my dad said to my mom, "I thought that she was you" I have never talked to anybody about this. Thanks

I was sexually abused when I was only 7 years old. I remember my parents getting divorced and I had to stay with my uncle. He made me do strange things like watch porn with him while he abused me. It felt so disgusting but he said it was so I could learn to do new things. He also slept with me. He would often go into my room and make me strip so he could abuse me. Not only did he do that to me but he would rub himself on me and make me perform oral sex on him.

I was 11 when my step-father started to molest me and make me have oral sex with him. I thought it was okay because the first time he started to do things to me he said "It's okay, I am your step-father and to me you are like a daughter and this is okay." Finally, I realized what he was doing was wrong. He was doing it to my older sister and she told my mom and I overheard the conversation. My mom didn't believe her and she stayed with him. My sister decided to move out and she was only 17. She’s now 22. She was pregnant by her boyfriend so my mother made her get married, but my step-father didn't go to the wedding. Everyone asked me if he had ever done anything to me. It had been going on for almost 2 months. My mom said she would leave him, but she never did. I finally decided to tell her (I'm 15 now), she was supportive to begin with but now she secretly is seeing him, even though there is a restraining order. She then started to blame me for her having to work so much. We were wealthy only because of him, but she had to get a job and work extra hours. She would call me a liar, a hypocrite, and other names. I finally decided to commit suicide and took 48 Tylenol Pm pills and slit my wrist. I was in the hospital for two weeks and passed out for the first 2 days. She promised to never talk to him again or see him. I had been out a week when I soon realized she lied to me and has been seeing him. I now live with my aunt, take counseling and see doctors every week. I have flashbacks because he sexually abused me every day. I had never had a boyfriend until recently, and he is kind and supportive. I am going to live with my sister as soon as all the court hearings are over and I never want to hear from my mom if she goes back with him. She only wants his money. That is how he threatened me. I would be responsible for sending my family into poverty, and since my mom used to be abusive he said that she would kill us both. Everything he has said is true. He sexually abused 4 other people, but the sad part is I had to take a lie detector test. He refused. I hope he gets what he deserves.

When I was 16 I was friendly with a group of girls and we used to go to town on a Saturday night. We must have looked older than our years because we never had any trouble getting into pubs and clubs.

That night we'd had a lot to drink and it was after midnight when we left the club. Usually we used to queue at the taxi rank outside the bus station but it was cold and a guy who was parked opposite asked us if we were looking for a taxi. We shouldn't have got in but there was 4 of us so we felt safe enough, but my house was the last stop and I ended up alone in the car with him.

As soon as we were alone his manner changed. He started asking me personal questions and telling me how sexy I looked. I started to sober up as the danger of the situation hit me. I pleaded with him to drive me home and he reassured me he would but then started driving in the other direction. I panicked and tried the door but it wouldn't open. Even if it had he was going so fast that I couldn't have got out anyhow.

He drove further and further out of town until he finally turned off down a secluded track. He climbed into the back and I knew what was coming next. I pleaded with him to let me go but he put his hand to my throat and told me not to fight him or he'd really hurt me. Then he lifted my dress pulled my knickers off and climbed on top of me.
He was so rough with me that I cried out in pain. He put his hand over my nose and mouth and I could hardly breathe. Thankfully he stopped after a couple of minutes.

He got back into the front and told me I'd been a good girl so he'd take me home. I was too scared to argue. We hadn't been going very long though before he turned off down another track. He ignored my sobbing and pleading, parked up, telling me to take everything off. By this time I was on auto-pilot. I kept telling myself that if I did what he said I might just survive.

He ordered me outside and made me bend over the bonnet of the car. I gasped in shock and pain as he forced himself into my rectum. It had never even crossed my mind that he'd make me have anal sex. Words cannot describe the agony or the humiliation of this. The pain was so great that I lost control of my bowels but he continued regardless.

Just when I thought I couldn't take anymore he grabbed me by the back of my arms and made me kneel down in front of him. He chastised me as though it was my fault that he had feces on him. He grabbed me by my throat, slapped me and then made me lick and suck him clean even though I was retching the whole time. I still can't believe anyone could be that cruel.

After this final humiliation he was obviously satisfied because he got back into his seat and drove off leaving me there naked and bleeding to find my way to safety. I could hardly walk but eventually made my way to the main road, flagged down a car and was taken to hospital.

The police are still looking for my attacker but it’s been over a year now so it doesn't look as though I will have any justice. I don't know if I could stand up in court and go over all this anyway. My life has changed so much since then. I don't go out at night anymore and the thought of having a boyfriend is too much, let alone having sex with anyone.

I sometimes think why me? But then it isn't just me, there are hundreds and hundreds of people on these sites who've gone through the same thing. I only hope that one of these days I can find the strength to take control of my life again.

by Hannah on 8 May 2005

Well today at 12:00 in the afternoon I was going upstairs to my aunt’s apartment to pay her for babysitting my nephew. There were 2-7 guys hanging round, 2 were in the elevator and 3-5 were at one of the stairs blocking all but one exit. I gave her the money and ran the hell out of there and next thing I noticed they were chasing me. I got to a store that was huge and hid in the girl’s bathroom for at least 2 hours. When I got out they were at the front of the store but I saw my best friend Jasmine and ran to her and her mother, with the 7 guys behind me. I went next to them and since her mother was a cop they all went away saying “we'll get u next time baby”!!

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