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Alabama Jokes

It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.

Dominoes may not be played on Sunday.

It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.

Putting salt on a railraod track may be punishable by death.

Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.

Bear wrestling matches are prohibited.

It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile.

You must have windshield wipers on your car.

You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.

Masks may not be worn in public.

Men may not spit in front of the opposite sex.

You may not drive barefooted.

It is illegal to maim oneself to escape duty.

It is illegal to impersonate a person of the clergy.

Women are able to retain all property they owned prior to marriage in the case of divorce. However, this provision does not apply to men.

Incestous marriages are legal.

Anniston
You may not wear blue jeans down Noble Street.

Jasper
It is illegal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger in diameter than his thumb.

Lee County
It is illegal to sell peanuts in Lee County after sundown on Wednesday.

Mobile
It is unlawful to howl at ladies inside the city limits.

It is unlawful to wear women's pumps with sharp, high heels.

Montgomery
It is considered an offense to open an umbrella on a street, for fear of it spooking horses. (Repealed)

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An Alabama State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-20. He says to the driver, "Got any ID?" The driver says, "Bout what?"
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Q: Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Alabama State Lottery?
A: The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.

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Q: Why did O. J. Simpson want to move to Alabama?
A: Everyone has the same DNA.

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Q: Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Birmingham, Alabama burned down?
A: Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park.

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A new law recently passed in Alabama: When a couple gets divorced, they're still brother and sister.

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Q: What's the best thing to ever come out of Alabama?
A: I-20 and I-10

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Two Alabamans are walking down different ends of a street toward each other, and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy Ray, what'cha got in th' bag?" "Jus' some chickens." "If I guesses how many they are, can I have one?" "Shoot, ya guesses right and I'll give you both of them." "OK. Ummmmm . . . five?"