Hi I am a newbie, My name is Diana. I have started getting chubby during puberty. I remember when I was 12 my weight went up to 138 Lbs I am a touch over 5 feet tall My mother took my to the doctor and he put me on a 1,000 calorie a day diet. I remember my mother counted the calories and posted it on side of refrigerator. I hated it. I lost 30 lbs and I weighed 108 lbs. Through my 20 and 30s I never got over 115 lbs. When I hit 40 I started to well get fat. By the summer of 2008 I was up to 150 lbs. I had a big event coming up in September I went on a strict diet and vigorous and I lost 39 lbs, I weighed 111 pounds for the event. People were commenting that was was too thin. I felt great about myself It did not last long. I am now bigger then I have ever been in my life. I am afraid to get on the scale. I was wearing junior clothes not I can not even find Misses ****s to fit me. I am wearing men's tee shirts.. How could have done that to myself. I had to go out and buy new clothes because even the few fat clothes I kept did not fit . I must have gained at least 50 lbs I am back on a 300 calorie diet I can not walk because I sprained my ankle. I gain back more then I lost I could I do that to myself. My problem is when I am eating I am not thinking especially when it comes beer. I am so angry and disgusted with my self. When I lost that weight back in 2008 I said to myself I will never get fat again but I did it. I had to get that off my chest, I bore other people when I talk about I hope I did not bore you

You've been binging & starving for most of your life, are you ready to decide to love yourself and learn to have a GOOD relationship with food? If so, people here can help. Food is not the enemy. Self-hatred and using food to perpetuate self-hatred is the enemy, IMO.

300 calories ! Stop it right now ! You are starving yourself. You cannot be getting nearly enough nutrition with only 300 calories a day. You have not bored me, alarmed me would be more like it. You need to be on a healthy diet. Any diet that you will follow. I am just 5 feet tall and I lost on 1400 calories a day. I counted calories but do what you can do, but be sure it is healthy.

I'm like you sacha -- I really hope that 300 calories was a typo. Even if it was 300 calories A MEAL I'd be concerned. And the weight will definitely come back on with vengence if you are not taking it off a healthy way. I know some people who must drop pounds fast in order to be at a healthy weight for much needed surgery but never should it be done otherwise.

I can tell through your words that you are desperate to get this weight off and KEEP IT OFF. So the first thing you need to do is find a weight loss plan that is sustainable long term and it is a plan that can be easily tweaked for when you are ready to maintain.

I think your doctor did you a huge disservice by restricting your calories to only 1000 at that age. Even any age for that matter. And your mom was just following his orders. But you are now in the mindset that the lower the calories the bigger the reward. Short term, yes. Long term, no. So you need to shift gears mentally and remember that it is all about the long term. Otherwise you'll be yo-yo'ing and struggling with your weight for the rest of your life.

You found a great site here and I strongly recommend you do a lot of reading and posting and venting. You'll find the help and support you need.

Good luck sweetie! Hugs to you.

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1/4/15: Restarting my journey exactly 4 years from when I first started in January 2011. Reached my goal weight in 2012 and regained half of it back.

Diana, I would suggest that you get an appointment to see a Registered Dietitian. These are professionals who are knowledgeable about nutrition and weight. They can evaluate your situation and help you with a plan that you can sustain. It may take longer than what you would like to lose, but if you stay with it, it will work better than crash dieting followed by regaining. See if you need a doctor referral, but in any case, spend a little money and get some help, rather than spending it on beer...

Yes 300 calories a day less now that I can not exercise the way I want to. I have been doing this for a week and the pants are still tight when I sit. I really wanted to use the name 2fat2live because the is how I feel. but I thought that was too depressing I know I need help.. I want to this weight off me immediately. The less I eat the easier it is for me to stick to it. I can not eat five saltines with my soup I will end up eating the whole sleeve Better not to eat any. That is how I gained all this wait back. One dish of icecream became two and then three. Four slices of bacon became 10 . One beer becomes three then six I do feel helpless I can't even watch those weight loss commerical I want so much for that to me it hurt too much to watch Right now I fatter and more depressed then I ever had in my life. I want this weight off me Thank you for your support

It doesn't come off immediately. It takes one meal at a time, one bite at a time. You can lose weight on sustantially more caloreis than 300 a day. Does your doctor know that is what you are doing ? This is not helping you it is hurting you and will make it more difficult in the long run. I agree with JayEll that you need help not only a nutritionist but a counselor perhaps.

300 calories isn't suitable for anyone, and definitely not you whether you're exercisings or not. Have you been to a nutritionist? You should look into it. They'll work out your calories and foods for you in a healthy way and you don't have to feel guilty about it all.
Why the 1000 calorie diet when you were only 138? That's not fat! I'm "a touch over 5 feet" too at 5'1" and 135 is my GOAL weight for pete's sake! Anything lower is a bonus to me, but 135 is not perfect but it's not fat or terribly unhealthy. What a terribly thing to do to a growing child. My mom is my height too and she's always been around 100-105 pounds and she is wayyyyy too skinny.
You should try a nutritionist if not anything else the other people on here have suggested. Good luck.

I know the tremendous effort it can take to make the first steps in "getting help". It gets *so* much easier. Please take the advice everyone here is giving you. Check with your doctor, and ask about getting counseling. And keep exploring this site for support.

Sounds like things are very tough for you right now and you need to get yourself some help rather than starving yourself, and 300kcal a day is starvation. The way you talk about what has happened makes me think that you have some really severe issues with food and body image and I think a good step would be to go and see your GP.

I spent a good deal of my life binging and purging, and in my 20s I was diagnosed with Bulimia. I relate to a lot of what you have said but life can be better than it is right now. I went on anti-depressants and saw a counsellor and a dietician all of those helped me get to a place where I wasn't consumed by my weight and food any more and yes I am still fat and I still need to lose weight but I don't hate myself. Somedays I can even joke about being a fatty!

I really feel for you, please go and talk to someone who can help you with the way you are feeling.

Today I had soup and a salad. I have weights so I have been stretching in a chair. I went to the orthopedic doctor and in addition to a ankle sprain I have tendonitis I have to go to physical therapy but I still can do my power walking. I have seen 300 calorie diets on line. Have any of you ever heard of the Rotation diet? My friend lost weight with it but she goes to Weight watches now. The doctor was concerned about my weight because I asthma. This worried my mother. That was over 30 years ago but thinking about it. I think it may have been a factor in me developing this problem. When I was in my teens I go got down to 88 pounds. Now my mother was worried about me being too thin. I went to the hospital and therapy and . I gained wait which was torture for me even though I was so extremely thin. I was able to straighten myself out and I never got over 115 pounds. A few years ago after I passed 40 I started gaining weight, I was appalled and with the before mentioned 300 calorie diet exercise 2 hours a day and power walking six miles a day I lost almost 40 pounds But I was not able to keep the weight off for six months. i was not even eating that much. I am in a worse spot now then I was back then. Plus I am a few years older. I can't believe I spilled my guts on such personal stuff. I hope you don't think I am a nutcase. I lost a friend a couple of years about because she I was an anorexic nut job and she could not deal with it.