The answers to both questions are reflected in the atrocious t-shirt you see above. As a tongue-in-cheek reference to its notorious use of jobbers and palookas, the Xplode Fight Series has launched a charity drive called “Tomato Can MMA,” in which it will (allegedly) donate a can of food to a food bank or homeless shelter for every one of its “Melons” t-shirts that are purchased. (Just $19.99 plus $4.95 shipping!) As you read these words, there’s a homeless guy in Escondido farting out two cans’ worth of sauerkraut, all thanks to the philanthropic souls at XFS.

This is the worst MMA-related t-shirt in history, hands down. The phrase on the shirt — “Don’t let my melons get in the way of your CANS!™” — is cringe-worthy, and basically incoherent when you think about it. (Although I do like the ironic usage of the trademark symbol, as if anybody would steal any of this.) Obviously, the message is printed in comic sans, beloved font of dull children and sociopaths.

There’s something to be said about a drug addict who chooses to make money by exploiting his struggles with addiction, all while enabling the addictions of other people. I’m not sure if there are proper words for it, but utterly tragic, pathetic and thoroughly reprehensible are probably good places to start. Case in point: Jose Canseco, who has been dangerously addicted to anabolic steroids in the past (and possibly still is), now dedicates his time to encouraging both current and potential steroid users through a series of videos on Steroid.com. If you’re surprised by any of this, I envy your ignorance.

Oh, and he makes his glorious man boobies dance. Did I mention that part yet? Because that happens.

Back to business though. This week, Canseco touches on the topic of which steroids are “the most awesome steroids,” which obviously are the ones that make your tits bounce, n00b. Naturally, Canseco addresses former teammates who decided not to use steroids in the unfortunately typical words of an addict who refuses to take responsibility for his own actions:

As a baseball player, if you didn’t take steroids you were just a pussy. You were just not part of the team at that time. You weren’t really trying to win. You weren’t doing everything possible to become the best baseball player out there and help your team win. It was like a sacrifice in a way, you really had to do everything possible to help your team win.

Whoever’s in charge of giving away free UFC tickets to hot chicks has really upped their game lately. (God bless you, pervert.) Last week we had the bounce-tastic “Girl in the White Dress,” who entertained us between fights at UFC on FOX 4. And on Saturday at UFC 150, it was the eye-catching blonde shown above — either Melissa Debling or her long-lost twin sister — whose glorious rack nearly distracted us from the vile ginger neckbeard situation happening directly behind her.

But Girl in the Red Dress wasn’t the only memorable seat-filler this weekend. Check out two more ladies trying to make love to the camera at UFC 150 (with varying levels of success) plus a couple gifs from the actual fights, after the jump…

This, believe it or not, is an actual ad for Elite XC and Showtime boxing put together by the clever jerks over at Showtime Sports. I like to think that the moment the song “Hits & Chicks” was written, somewhere Glenn Danzig suddenly felt like killing himself, even more than usual, and he didn’t know why. I also like to think that after the song was set to this video montage of both hits and chicks, one of the advertising executives at Showtime watched it and said, “I don’t know, you think it’s too subtle?”

That’s when they added the phrase “Jugs and Pugs.” Just because they wanted to make sure that they were reaching the all-important ‘morons aged 14-54′ demographic. And here we were thinking that Elite XC wasn’t doing enough to promote this event.

Is it too much to hope that “Busted Ears, Bodacious Boobs” will become Elite XC’s new tagline?

(To the cameraman’s amazement, suggesting she pour water on her boobs actually worked.)

Thanks to his chummy relationship with Octagon girl Arianny Celeste, MMA Rated’s Ariel Helwani got the scoop on what’s going on between Roger Huerta and his former “gal pal” (I read that phrase in Us Weekly while waiting in line at the supermarket and have been dying to use it). It sounds like Roger has done screwed things up somehow:

AH: What did you think of Roger Huerta’s performance against Kenny Florian?

AC: It was OK.

AH: And what about the rumors that you had falling out with Roger. Are those true?

AC: I wish the best for everybody including him but we are no longer on speaking terms. We are no longer friends.

AH: Wow. What happened?

AC: No comment.

AH: Why are you not on speaking terms?

AC: No comment

AH: Some have speculated that Roger and (“That 70′s Show” star) Laura Prepon have a budding relationship. What are your thoughts on that?

AC: I don’t know anything about that.

At the risk of leaning toward celebrity relationship gossip blog territory, I have to admit this makes me wonder. No longer on speaking terms? That doesn’t sound like your average break-up language, even if she wishes “the best for everyone, including him” — which is the type of boilerplate phrase that is certainly not meant to convey any sort of truth. Maybe all the fame and attention has gone to Huerta’s head? That explanation would certainly jive with his outrageous contract demands. At least this means that Arianny is back on the market. Maybe you should give her a call. I think she’d really like you if she got to know you.