Can She Change?

Doc Love: Can You Ever Get A Woman To Change?

Lana didn’t really come back to you when this other guy dumped her. You took her back after she worked your ego. And by the way, you don’t know why this other guy left Lana. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “Maybe he just hung around for the party.”

Then Lana started with yet another dude and they broke up. Man, this girl doesn’t last too long with guys, does she? Barnes, why would you possibly think she’s going to last with you? And one more thing that you should remember: Like my cousin Sal “The Fish” Love says, “This alley cat doesn’t have an ounce of loyalty in her blood.”

But despite all of the suffering that Lana has inflicted on you, you want to believe her when she insists that she loves you and has changed. Now, let me ask you this, Barnes: If you were a betting man, what odds would you give that she’s really changed?

Guy, the reason you never married this woman is because she had

three husbands. You were fourth in line — not counting the other guys she had dangling on the side.

The only thing that makes sense in your letter is when you say you’re still hooked on Lana. Your Interest Level is in the 90s, and you rationalize everything she does to you because you’re whipped.

Can she change? Not this girl, and not in this lifetime. She’s sweet to the world and nuts with you, and she’ll always be a Jekyll and Hyde. The only reason she can keep luring you back is because your Interest Level is in the stratosphere, like I said earlier. If your Interest Level were 45%, whatever she pulled on you wouldn’t work. Look at it this way: What she pulls doesn’t work when it comes to your friends, who have been giving you solid advice, which friends usually don’t.

Lana isn’t using you until she finds what she’s looking for, because she doesn’t

know what she’s looking for. What she’s after is the next guy, that’s all. Like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “This woman has no sense of discrimination whatsoever.”

Lana stayed with you for six years, then it was over. Now you’re going back and forth with her, but you can’t go back, which you would know if you’d read my book. Your friend is right on — you put up with Lana’s erratic behavior, and you were an enabler.

Is Lana a lost cause? Barnes, she was a lost cause when you met her. Now, let me explain something to you. Neither one of us is a psychiatrist. That’s

why in “The System” we have the Bottom Line Factor, which states that you must go only by the woman's actions and never try to figure out why. To you Psych majors, it’s your ego that wants to know why, because that way you can rationalize her bad treatment of you. That’s the way the male ego works.

Sure, people can change, Barnes. But not this horse.

Remember, guys: What you see is what you get.

To hear my LOVE RADIO SHOW, send me your love questions, or to find out more about "The System," visit me at DocLove.com or call 800-404-2644. For the past 30 years, Doc Love has asked thousands of women, “Why do you stay with one man vs. another?”