Common Census

I don’t suppose many of the anarchists who protested in London at the weekend will have spent half an hour filling in their census return this morning as I did.

For a start, they don’t believe in government interfering in our lives which I guess would give them much in common with the right wing of the Tory party whose support for law and order extends as far as hanging and flogging, but draws the line at tax avoidance.

And of course, anarchists don’t believe in property either, a state defined as theft by Proudhon, so admitting to home ownership would be a no-no. Being a tenant might pass muster, as long as the landlord is called Rachman to demonstrate one’s oppressed masses credentials.

Then there is the vexed question of religion, or the opiate of the masses. Somehow “None” seems a bit wishy-washy and simply scrawling “Anarchist!” on the form would no doubt be mistranscribed as “Antichrist” on the returns and class them as devil worshippers.

As for employment status, let’s not even go there, but they would probably be quite proud of their academic achievements since many of them appear to be students.

But I really think they’re missing a trick if what they were trying to do was to dissuade those star-crossed lovers, Cameron and Clegg, from their stated intent to slash and burn public spending.

All they had to do was swap houses with each other, just for Sunday night, because then they’d be counted twice, both there and at their regular residence.

Double the count and you double the number of people needing education, benefits, health care, social services etc. Voila, as Proudhon probably also said, double the government investment!

Nobody’s prefect. If you find any spelling mistakes or other errors in this post, please let me know by highlighting the text and pressing Ctrl+Enter.