No matter what slant they decide to put on the news in the UK about just how bad
things apparently are here in Spain they never seem to get it quite right do they? In
fact if you believed the news, whether printed or on TV, then you too would be witnessing the ‘many expats now living on the streets of Spain…’ now, apart from a good few
teenagers who earn the right on a Friday and Saturday night to live, drink, eat, vomit
then sleep on the streets of Spain - I haven’t seen families of Brits, Swedes, Germans
or even French pushing shopping trolleys up the side of the N332 or living in doorways
of banks either.
In fact, the more people I talk to the more positive things seem. In my area of Gran
Alacant alone I can name at least half a dozen businesses that have started up, and are
doing well, and there are many more cases up and down the coast of businesses not
only surviving in Spain but flourishing.
Take our colleagues at The Coastrider who are expanding into Benidorm, or estate
agent Sharon Hulbert, who features in this month’s magazine, who has started her own
businesses helping expats relocate to Spain.
Coys Cars are preparing for an extra busy year with bookings breaking expectations
and our own new venture, Hot Dog T-shirts has hit the ground running (and panting
now…) with orders and enquiries for work wear seeing us heading up and down (and in
and out) of the Costa Blanca.
Most expats living in Spain are doing ok thank you very much and it seems, to me, that
its people who live abroad and rely on their home press to inform that are getting a confusing, a mostly inaccurate, message. So just let them know would you...? A little gloating about how you’re out in a busy cafe with other happy expats and locals enjoying the
sunshine goes a long way don’t you think? And if there are some expats maybe looking
a little scruffy and worse for wear..? It’s more than likely because they want to be...
Things are moving in Spain, despite the doom mongers, and anyway, if we are all skint
– I know which country, out of the UK and Spain, I’d rather be skint in…

ABOGADOS · BARRISTERS
SOLICITORS · TAX ADVISORS
Any legal problems?

My new book is out on
Amazon this month
Available in paperback
(4.95€)
and on kindle (3.79€).

About A LOAD OF BULL
For about half of the time I’ve lived in
Spain, I’ve known Dave, and enjoyed
his off-the-wall writing-style – indeed,
have followed with interest his similar
life-style. If you’re looking for a serious
account of life in this very un-European
country, then perhaps ‘A Load of Bull’
is not for you. But who said that life
here – or anywhere else, for that matter – was serious?
This book is a collection of anecdotes,
many about Spain and the Spanish,
some about the experience of being
an ‘expat,’ (not a term I embrace with
much joy) and others which could occur in Dorking or Dortmund – but certainly not in Deauville, as the author
makes clear his antipathy to our mutual neighbours.
What is common to all Dave’s writing
is his capacity for enjoyment, undiminished by the setbacks he has encountered along the way, and I don’t see
how anyone can fail to be amused by
his accounts.
Dave has also cultivated a profound
love for his adopted Mediterranean
stamping ground – I reckon you’ll find
him dunking croissants into his coffee
in Juande’s in twenty years’ time – and
this shines as bright as the Costa Blanca sunshine throughout this unusual
narrative.
Malcolm Palmer
author & ornithologist

965 480 737 / 606 056 282
info@pellicerheredia.com

contact us on: 96 669 5160 - 606 540 408 - ask@allabroad.es

3

4

QUALIFIED GESTORA

Fiscal help...

Est. 1991

Part 2

Conveyancing

DECLARATION OF
WORLDWIDE ASSETS
IN SPAIN

Notarial deeds

An obligation for residents as from tax year 2012

Fiscal representation

Following my article in last month’s

Spanish probate / Inheritances
Spanish Wills

Property taxes

edition as regards the declaration of

If

worldwide assets for foreign residents

ing 50.000,- € in each block, i.e. a

Power of attorney

in Spain I will give you more informa-

house worth 80.000,- €, bank account

tion as now released by the Spanish

60.000,- € and income as described

Private sales contracts

tax authorities.

for block three worth 55.000,- €, and

Change-over of utility bills

The declaration (Model 720) is to

fine will be 10.000,- € for each block,

inform the tax authorities of values

that means a total minimum fine of

Planning permissions

and assets abroad (outside of Spain

30.000,- €.

a

person

has

assets

exceed-

fails to present the declaration the

that is). The form consists of three
blocks, one for bank accounts situ-

If the person has i.e. a house worth

ated abroad, another for real estate

80.000,- € and a bank account with

and rights on the same, and a third

30.000,- €, only the block for real

one for securities, insurances and in-

estate has to be filled in. Failing to

come that is deposited, managed or

present the declaration would in this

generated abroad. If a person has as-

case result in a minimum fine of

sets for any of these block/s exceed-

10.000,- Euros, for the non-declara-

ing 50.000,- Euros those have to be

tion of the house exceeding the set

filled in.

value.

To be precise, each block is to be

Important to know is that the informa-

considered as a separate obligation

tion of bank accounts abroad with a

although all the information is taken

balance exceeding 50.000,- Euros on

in the same form.

31st December has to be given even if
there is more than one account holder.

In case of non-fulfillment, the mini-

In this case the total balance is given

mum fine for each block in which

with the indication of the percentage

the information was not presented is

of the holder.

10.000,- Euros.
I hope this has made things a little
I will try and make this a little bit

2 Bed, 2 Bath Town house, 1
Bath is W.C and hand basin
only, Lounge diner, Open plan
kitchen, Solarium with
great views over open country
side, 2 Good size bedrooms, Com swimming pool.
ONE ONLY REMAINING AT
A GREAT PRICE OF ONLY

55,000€

PHONE US BEFORE
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Having established themselves in the world of real-estate, specialising and assisting in the selling and investment in property located
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and through this new website clients will find the answers they need
without having to spend all day on the computer going from site to

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Options include (space permitting) Prime spot advertising with click-

The ultimate aim of 1st Choice World is to provide a complete range

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of property and home services to Real Estate professionals in multiple
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a “one stop shop” for potential buyers and investors. That is the intention at 1st Choice World, to provide the full package of information
requirements, and just by taking a look at the website you’ll see that
they have thought about just what visitors to the site need.
For the Agents, buyers and sellers, there are promotions to look at,
also featured properties and a very handy mortgage calculator which
allows you to work out monthly payments including the interest rate,
a translator to give the site a truly multi-national feel and allowing potential buyers and sellers full access to the comprehensive resources
available from 1st Choice World Limited.

listings – all at very economic rates. For example you can choose from
the basic package, Plan No.1 – BRONZE which means you can get
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1st Choice Spain provides an excellent medium, to reach a wide
spectrum of potential customers looking for all the associated services
necessary for the property buyer. Various plans are available and 1st
Choice welcomes the opportunity to discuss your needs.

For everyone
For professionals the website offers an exciting, and different, opportunity to showcase their Property Portfolio or Classified Goods and
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1stchoicespain-classifieds.com
Classified ads for all purposes
The new classified advertising site is aimed at the normal householder. How often do you wish you could find that elusive service or how
to sell that unused article or perhaps you’re looking for a good quality

They also offer an opportunity to join them, and be among the first
to offer your customers a new marketing tool, with a
no obligation 90 day trial on their
Property
Portal,
and with
advertising
packages
that are
very competitively
priced
( can be

item? Maybe you’re looking for a job? A good value car? Or perhaps
need repairs done? Take a look at this extensive and comprehensive
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Charities, Religious organizations, Animal rescue services, Jobs to offer – guess what? You can advertise FREE! Private sellers with goods
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Check it out for yourselves here:
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If you need to get in touch with 1stChoiceSpain.com for any reason
here are our contact details:
Telephone: +34 966790169
Mobile: Alan Hawksworth – +34 622446384
Mobile: Roy Hayes

Moving to Spain? Buying a holiday home on the Costa Blanca?
Looking for a bargain property?
Moving back to the UK? Having
trouble selling in Spain? Need to
find a builder, a lawyer, a fiscal
representative, can’t read the latest electricity bill because it is in
Spanish? The list goes on.

Real Estate Solutions offers a
standard of service, experience
and advice that all home-buyers

Working
smart for you
and sellers can benefit from.

I have been asked all these questions and more during over nine
years of living and working in
Spain. In fact, my office gradually
became not only a local meeting
point but a service centre for anyone needing assistance with expat
life in Spain. Sharon.

Gran Alacant is one of those few places where old Spain blends with modern Europe; the hill is home to a wide
range of Europeans (other nations
are well represented too amongst the
populace but Europeans (especially
The British) make up more than 50%
of its current population meaning that
the area is a cosmopolitan mix of people, shops, bars and businesses unlike
most places in Spain.
In 2001 the boom started in Gran Alacant
and the ‘hill’ began to fill very quickly with
foreigners, Spanish residents and holiday
makers ready to take their place in the
sun and following on from the those early
homes all of a sudden many more urbanisations were being completed, and all of
them (bar none) sold out well before they
were actually built.
Modern meets old
Although some may describe Gran Alacant
as a ‘modern’ area it has some history too
and established urbanisations - as well as
the more recently built ones – offer fantastic views, especially at night. The bay of
Alicante is like a flame to a moth for many
(especially if you find yourself in one of the
rooftop bars overlooking the city) and Elche
and Santa Pola offer an attractive and al-

14

ternative view too.

Location

along with its wonderful setting on top of
Good looking

the cliffs of Santa Pola, Gran Alacant also

Along with a good aspect from one window

boasts a close proximity to the historical

or another (or the terrace), most proper-

sea port of Alicante and its modern airport

ties in the area have access to a modern

and the quaint and charming city of Elche;

swimming pool (some have tennis/football

both of which are just fifteen minutes away

pitch too) for residents that are be well-

by car and with Benidorm (45 mins) not too

maintained throughout the year.

far away the things to do list may well need
to be extended a little.

Security
Closed urbanisations offer great security if
you have little ones running around and all
swimming pools have a gate to keep them
in the complex and your eye safely upon
them or if hitting the beach is your choice
then you will be spoilt for choice as Gran Alacant has some of the best beaches available on the Coast and if you include Santa
Pola in the equation it can boast around 16
kilometres of clean sand and a sparkling
sea.
Facilities
The area is fully covered by all services
these days with its own post office, town
hall, local police station and doctor’s clinic.
A modern primary school, a petrol station
a 24 hour chemist along with spas gyms
and much more, Gran Alacant is modern
Spain at its best – it even has its own lighthouse, proving that here old Spain really

Eating out
Foods from around the world and around
the corner (fresh Santa Pola seafood) offer the adventurous gourmet a rich menu
to choose from but if all else fails to keep
the little, the kids will find a McDonalds five
minutes away!

does meet the new.

Be Original - ALL ABROAD! -TEL. 606 540 408

Discover the Costa Blanca!

Where Europe meets Spain
Nearby...
Santa Pola

fast of toast and coffee on the Med’?

Santa Pola quickly takes you back to Ro-

the Stamp Fair - parking isn’t too much of

are rarely if ever full, and both are only a

man times. It was here where the Portus

a problem and the two car parks alongside

short walk from the town hall where you’ll

Illicitanus, the Roman ruins, were found.

the port (after Panoramis shopping centre)

find antiques, stamps and much more.

The Roman House of the Palmeral which
was built during the Low Imperial era and
the Roman factory for pickling and salting
fish from the 4th century B. C. are also reminders of the era.
Santa Pola extends from both side of the
Renaissance Castle-Fortress built in the
16th century to defend itself from pirate
attacks. Found in the city centre it has a
military appearance and houses the Archaeological Museum where you can find
Iberian and Roman relics. Also located here
is the Fishing Museum with a wide selection of maritime objects and an interesting
aquarium.
Elche
Small but well endowed....with history, architecture and of course restaurants and
cafes!
As the great bike-maker Sir Walter Raleigh
once said, ‘There are an awful lot of benefits to getting on a push bike and riding
around a city…’
you can rent a bicycle in Elche city for next
to nothing and take a touristic trip around
the city and stopping off at the odd café
for something refreshing and a bite to eat
means you get to see just what there is to
see in Elche – without having to slow down
in the car and endure the wrath of an impatient bus/car/lorry driver.
Alicante
north of Gran Alacant is Alicante, full of
all the usual delights of a city and one
where (on a Sunday) visitors can rummage
around at the antiques fair before crossing
time (and a road) and discovering just one
of the things that is so good about modern
Alicante...the Beach Clubs.
There’s nothing wrong with stopping on
the way at the Chill Out Bar in Urbanova (5
minutes), great views and a lovely beach,
and who’s going to begrudge you a break

one of the best entertainers on
the Costa Blanca singing songs
from Neil Diamond, Robbie Williams, Frank Sinatra and many
more 50s 60s 70s to up to date
tunes for dancing, he also always interacts well with audience to ensure they have a good
time.
My favourite part of Andy’s
shows are his tributes to the
West End Musicals with absolutely fantastic renditions from
Phantom, Les Mis, Miss Saigon
and many more, he is also repeatedly asked to sing Nessun
Dorma and Time to Say Goodbye which are truly amazing.
So please if you get the chance
get out to see Andy in any venue
he is performing you will not be
disappointed.
So if you’re a bar or an entertainer and want to appear in the gig
guide then please contact me by
email on mandy@starsinbars.
org or call me on 685302529 or
just visit my website www.starsinbars.org

Mandy x

EVERY TUESDAY
Curry Night
Gran Alacant TASTY!

ALICANTE REGION
ROJALES
Studio 17 weekly life drawing
classes Fridays at studio of
Martin the artist in Rojales.
Although these are generally
running most weeks, we are
having difficulties getting female models sometimes, so
please check if the class will
be running or not.
More info 648 535 165 or martin@martin-enterprises.eu
PEGO
March 12, 2013 to April 9,
2013
10:00a-12:00
Watercolour course for beginners (five weeks)
Art Studio
See website for full details
www.artstudio-paintingclasses.co.uk
For full details see website
www.artstudio-paintingclasses.co.uk
Thursday, March 21, 2013
10:00a-4:00p
Pastel painting class - animals
Art Studio
www.artstudio-paintingclasses.co.uk
Step by step instruction for
painting animal portraits in
pastel. See website for full details
www.artstudio-paintingclasses.co.uk

POLITE NOTICE:
Dear customers, please do
not confuse us with a Spansih
company with a similar name
who sell stamps. We work directly with Royal Mail & are
fully legal.

Try us!

• You will be amazed at just how cost effective it
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• No language barrier - we speak your language
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• FULL worldwide postal & courier service
• DISCOUNTS for bulk mail
(50 letters or more)
Renew your
British passport
FREE document check
prior to sending
DAILY service to the
British Consulate in Madrid

‘aving a laugh...
DO NOT
ARGUE
WITH AN
IDIOT.
HE WILL
DRAG
DOWN
TO HIS
LEVEL
AND
BEAT
YOU
WITH
EXPERIENCE.

WANT
TO DIE
PEACEFULLY IN MY SLEEP,
LIKE MY GRANDFATHER.. NOT SCREAMING AND YELLING LIKE THE PASSENGERS IN HIS CAR.
I ASKED GOD FOR A BIKE, BUT I KNOW GOD DOESN’T
WORK THAT WAY. SO I STOLE A BIKE AND ASKED FOR

SEX IS NOT
THE ANSWER.
SEX IS THE
QUESTION.
“YES” IS THE
ANSWER.

THE LAST THING I WANT TO DO IS HURT YOU. BUT
IT’S STILL ON THE
LIST.
LIGHT
TRAVELS
FASTER
THAN
SOUND.
THIS IS WHY
SOME PEOPLE APPEAR
BRIGHT UNTIL YOU HEAR
THEM SPEAK.
IF I AGREED
WITH YOU
WE’D BOTH BE
WRONG.
MEN HAVE TWO
EMOTIONS:
HUNGRY AND
HORNY. IF YOU SEE HIM WITHOUT
AN ERECTION, MAKE HIM A SANDWICH.
WE NEVER REALLY GROW UP, WE ONLY LEARN HOW TO
ACT IN PUBLIC.
WAR DOES NOT DETERMINE WHO IS RIGHT - ONLY
WHO IS LEFT.
KNOWLEDGE IS KNOWING A TOMATO IS A FRUIT;
WISDOM IS NOT PUTTING IT IN A FRUIT SALAD.

GOING TO
CHURCH
DOESN’T
MAKE YOU A
CHRISTIAN ANY MORE THAN
STANDING IN A GARAGE MAKES YOU A CAR.
WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY WHERE PIZZA GETS TO YOUR
HOUSE BEFORE THE POLICE.
WOMEN MIGHT BE ABLE TO FAKE ORGASMS. BUT MEN
CAN FAKE A WHOLE RELATIONSHIP.

All makes, petrol and diesel, Serviced and Repaired
The Diesel Centre specialises in mechanical and engine repairs from
routine servicing to repairing manual gear boxes, alternators, starter motors,
Re-building complete engines, also up to date diagnostic fault finding,
Head gaskets, timing belts, clutches, brakes, welding and air con.
We also carry out pre-ITV inspections and take cars for the actual ITV tests.
Mark, the owner, has more than 25 years experience as an Engineer,
and is joined by Technicians Steve, who is a Ford trained Master Technician, and Tom,
who is Mercedes trained, so you can be assured you are being served by the best in the area.
The Centre’s reputation is built on expertise and quality of service, and many
of its customers are referred by word of mouth recommendations.

LA MARINA
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24

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all BORED? all BORED? all BORED? all BOR

A
BIG
PAGE
of

PUZZLE
FUN!!

riddles

1. Isaac and Albert were excitedly describing the result of the Third Annual
International Science Fair Extravaganza in Sweden. There were three contestants, Louis, Rene, and Johannes.
Isaac reported that Louis won the fair,
while Rene came in second. Albert, on
the other hand, reported that Johannes
won the fair, while Louis came in second.
In fact, neither Isaac nor Albert had
given a correct report of the results of
the science fair. Each of them had given
one correct statement and one false
statement. What was the actual placing
of the three contestants?
2. At a family reunion were the following people: one grandfather, one
grandmother, two fathers, two mothers, four children, three grandchildren,
one brother, two sisters, two sons,
two daughters, one father-in-law, one
mother-in-law, and one daughter-inlaw. But not as many people attended
as it sounds. How many were there,
and who were they?
3. 97 baseball teams participate in an
annual state tournament. The champion is chosen for this tournament by
the usual elimination scheme. That is,
the 97 teams are divided into pairs, and
the two teams of each pair play against
each other. The loser of each pair is
eliminated, and the remaining teams
are paired up again, etc. How many
games must be played to determine a
champion?
4.
Your sock drawer contains ten pairs of
white socks and ten pairs of black socks.
If you’re only allowed to take one sock
from the drawer at a time and you can’t
see what color sock you’re taking until
you’ve taken it, how many socks do you
have to take before you’re guaranteed
to have at least one matching pair?

1.Answer:
Johannes
won; Rene came in second; Louis came in third
2. There were two little
girls and a boy, their parents, and their father’s
parents, totaling seven
people
3. 96. All teams but the
champion team will lose
a game exactly once
4. Three. In the worst
case, the first two socks
you take out will consist
of one black sock and
one white sock. The
next sock you take out is guaranteed to
match one or the other.
SOLUTIONS:

With the title race all but over, the battle for the top four and for
top-flight status has become the main focus in the Premiership.
Leaders Manchester United have been in imperious form. They have managed to build a massive 12 point lead over second placed City. It would take
a very confident man to bet against them taking back the Premiership title
from rivals City, despite the Citizens impressive 2-0 win against Chelsea
last weekend.
With City all but safe for a top four position, they have nothing left to fight
for this season. There are many teams, however, that do.
Tottenham, Chelsea, Arsenal, Everton, and West Brom are all still contending for third and fourth place in the Premiership. All teams would love to be

Phone Eddie

TEL: 963
865 144
663 049
258 - MOBILE: 648 786 708

part of the Champions League, but for Spurs, Chelsea and Arsenal it would
be a catastrophe should they fail to. The three London sides have strengths
and weaknesses and a lot to lose should they fail.
Firstly, you have Spurs who are currently sat just above Chelsea in third
place. Largely thanks to the stunning form of winger Gareth Bale, they have
won their last three EPL games. Their manager is producing the goods in
his second year as Premiership manager following an unsuccessful spell
at Chelsea. Spurs certainly have the quality to qualify for the Champions
League, and yet there are still worries over what would happen to them
should their talisman, Bale, get injured.
Chelsea have been in poor form. 5 wins and three losses from their previous 10 games is not good enough, and could cost them a vital fourth
place after losing third to Tottenham. It could be argued they have the
most quality out of the three London clubs and in Juan Mata they have
their own midfield maestro. Despite the Spaniards stunning form, Chelsea
still have some blatant weaknesses. They lack a brilliant, 20-goal striker.
They are also leaking too many goals, which has cost them many points.
Their inability to hold a lead is also worrying for under-fire manager Rafa
Benitez. A failure to qualify for the Champions League for the first time in
the Abramovich era would be a disaster for the Blues. Chelsea fans’ dreams
of Jose Mourinho returning would be dashed if they failed to qualify for
Europe’s greatest prize.
Arsenal also have an under-fire manager, with their long-reigning boss Arsene Wenger being booed at several games this season. Despite this, and
despite having the weakest squad out of the three London sides, they are
only two behind Chelsea and have won 4 of their last 5 EPL matches. Not
qualifying for the first time in over 15 years would spell trouble for the
manager, though. Out of the three London sides they are the least likely to
get in. Despite this, we’ve seen them do it before and not many would put
it past them roaring back again.
With QPR seemingly resigned to life in the Championship again, and Southampton almost out of the relegation scrap, we also have three teams who
are dangerously close to the drop. One point separates Reading, Aston Villa
and Wigan. Although I’d expect Reading to go down, I cannot decide between Villa and Wigan. Wigan have the experience of being in this situation
before and the intelligence of their manager, Martinez, but Aston Villa have
some players of real quality. These players could be enough to keep their
EPL status - as long as they start trying!
Thanks for reading and I’ll catch you later after Easter.
PS: Congratulations to Swansea on the cup triumph!!