Scary Movie 5 Still Happening

So, Scary Movie 5 is officially happening. You already know that though. In fact, the Weinstein Company told you just as much two years ago, but since the initial announcement, there’s been almost no forward progress whatsoever. I suspect most casual viewers even forgot it was happening, but today, the company released a Facebook Message telling us the fifth cycle is a go. Woohoo? Are we supposed to be excited for this? Clearly, no one was in a hurry to get things going. This whole thing feels like one of your alcoholic friends telling you he’s going to quit drinking. Yeah, yeah, sure. I’ll believe it when I see it.

Here’s the thing though: your idiot friend quitting drinking is a good thing. I’m not so sure Scary Movie 5 will be a positive in anyone’s life. When news first broke back in 2009, it was widely assumed director David Zucker would be back for round five, but seeing as how several years have passed, I can’t officially confirm that. If he is, expect some potshots directed toward Child’s Play and Paranormal Activity. He’s publically expressed an interest in spoofing them before, but once again, a lot can change in two years. For all we know Scary Movie 5 could be a shot for shot remake of Psycho. Wait, that was already tried.

I’m definitely over the Scary Movies, but then again, I was never that on board to begin. They could wait twenty years, and I’d feel the same way. Still, if history is any indication, millions of people will show up.