Tuesday, February 16, 2010

The Sixth Sense

Well, it's always hard to go back to work after a long weekend. We, as you know, went to Ottawa and then came back to a busy day of cooking and watching the Olympics. Three day weekends seem to pass by more quickly than your run of the mill Saturday and Sunday. As I sat down to do my blog, I did a search of 'disability' jokes and found that there were several disability blogs and disability sites that had humour sections. I chose two jokes - both published on disability sites.

Here's how I chose them ... I read a few out to Joe and we used the good old laugh a meter. If you don't find them funny, please direct your comments to Joe. As for me, it was fun to see that disabled people and disabled blogs still had a sense of humour. Because dear me, that may be the most precious sense we all have ... enjoy ...

A guy walks into a pub and sits down on one of the stools at the end of the bar. One of the "regulars" walks in and asks the bartender who the new guy is. The bar keep replies that he doesn't know, but that he is quiet and seems nice. The "regular" decides to be nice and buys the guy a beer.

Another "regular" walks in and he asks the bartender who the new guy is. The bar keep again says that he doesn't know, but that he is quiet and seems nice. The second "regular" decides to be nice and buys the guy a beer.

A third "regular" walks in and he asks the bartender who the new guy is. The bar keep again says that he doesn't know, but that he is quiet and seems nice. This guy buys him a beer too.

When he finishes the three beers, the man gets up and approaches the three men.

"I am Jesus" he says, "and I want to thank you for your kindness." He approches the first man and touches him on the head.

"WOW!", he replies, "I have had a headache for 15 years and now its gone!"

He walks up to the second man and touches him on the elbow.

"WOW!" he says, "I have had terrible arthritis for years and now the pain is gone!"

As he approaches the third man the guy jumps back and says.

"Don't touch me, man! I'm out on disability!"

OK, OK, here's joke that's a little more ADULT ...

A 98 year old man and 98 year old woman struck up a relationship in a nursing home.

She would hold his penis each night while they watched TV in her room until it was time for him to return to his room.

It wasn't much but it was all they had.

One night he failed to show up.

When he failed to show up the second night she assumed he had died.

Later she saw him in the sitting area. "Where were you the last two nights?" she asked.

"I was with another woman." he replied.

"You found someone younger and prettier than I am?" she said.

"No, he replied, She is 98 and looks the same.

"Then what does she have that I don't ?" the old woman asked.

He smiled as he answered....."Parkinson's"!

Alright, here's the discussion - can jokes about serious issues (disability equals lazy ... a stereotype that is devastating) or about otherwise serious issues faced by people with disabilities be funny. I think so. Do you?

Hi Dave, not sure where to send an email to guarantee you'd read it, but I've come across some very serious allegations of sexual abuse of a young girl with Down's Syndrome and the alleged cover up/arrest of the investigating journalist. I plan to research further this afternoon but I know this is your area of expertise and wonder if you could help?The blog I picked it up from is http://bit.ly/bw4RBm and there are various links to follow for more information from there.

Should this turn out to be the case I think we in the disabiliphere need to pull together and make sure this story cannot be suppressed. If you want any further details please email me benefitscroungingscum@hotmail.co.uk

I have always figured that most people who swear disability has to be deadly serious all the time with no room for humor, are nondisabled.

Here's a real life example that had me and a friend laughing hysterically:

I have a movement disorder that can cause me to freeze in place for a long time, or to have only limited movement sometimes. My friend has a very painful spinal condition, and used to work as a home health aide. Both of us use wheelchairs.

We got back from a walk years ago. I had frozen up and there was not a staff person in sight. My friend told me she was trained in how to transfer people and she could tell I'd be more comfortable on a mat she had rolled out on the floor.

So she tipped me forward and dumped me face first onto the mat with my legs tangled in the footrests. Then she realized she had reached her limit for standing and had to get in bed without being able to adjust me.

Neither of us could move well for a few hours but we spent most of those few hours laughing our asses off at the sheer ridiculous slapstick value of the situation.

At another point in my life I attended a conference on how to get rid of institutions. Very parent and professional oriented, self advocates were used but used is the operative word mostly. A disabled woman showed a video tape of a comedian with a severe disability who had falling out of his chair as one of his acts.

There was a reaction panel by parents (not for disabled people). They responded to aspects of the conference. One man got all serious and said "I hope my son will never grow up to see falling out of his chair as funny.". I may be no expert on tone or body language but that man radiated contempt and disgust for disabled people who laugh about aspects of our lives. I found myself hoping the son had a better sense of humor than the father.

But really. Even if disability were all deadly serious all the time, it's the serious things that we need humor to cope with the most. If I couldn't find something funny about lying for hours in urine, or driving my powerchair through an oven door, or being dumped on my face by another gimp, my life would be hell. It's why medical professionals have "sick" senses of humor too. And anyone who wants to take humor away from me will do it over my dead body.

Hi my name is Ally Attwell from New Zealand. And I had the pleasure of meeting Dave at the World Down Syndrome Congress in Dublin.

I really loved your jokes and I will be share them with my family and friends along with this great blog. I have only just found your blog but I believe I will now be a regulay here :) !!!!

Now I believe that if you dont laugh you cry and laughter is MUCH more fun!!! Many parents that I have meet that tend to be copping with life tend to have a wapt sense of humour. I feel it is how we cope with what life throws at us. However these jokes being told need to be told out of love if not that is when it can become damaging.

I guess I am the only one who is concerned about how these jokes might further stereotypes. I guess it depends on who tells it and who the audience is.

Over 25 years ago now, I was at a business party. One of the people there was a man who I knew fairly well. He had a little girl with significant developmental disabilities. Someone at the party, not knowing about his little girl, told a joke about people with developmental disabilities. Everyone laughed. I will never forget the look of hurt on that man's face.

So I guess, just like any other kind of humour, in the right time and right place they could be funny. But in the wrong time and wrong place they could be devastating.Colleen

Also, to "benefitScroungingScum," because mainstream media barely registers the outrageous abuses of people with disabilities as a blip on the screen and doesn't acknowledge that it's pervasive, others need to make all the noise we can about it!

I think that context, and intent, and audience all matter. A joke that points out a difference, but does so gently and without cruel intent....generally funny

These jokes don't belittle "disability", they put a positive spin on what some may assume is a negative. That is surely funnier than any joke intending to make another person feel less than, or small, or undervalued.

And, as far as I am concerned if an individual belongs to any "minority" group(s) ("disability", other-sexual, race, ethnicity, whatever), they are free to tell any jokes about their minority groups that they find funny.....and still be upset when people outside of that group tell them in a cruel way!

I don't mind my girlfriends and my gay male friends making fun with my steroetypical dykeness - cause they love me and take me as I am, but a straight man spitting it at me with disdain and probable feelings of disgust (tinged with just a wee bit of envy) doesn't make me want to laugh!!!!!

Let's hear it for those with parkinson's and their very happy partners!

I do happen to know a woman on disability whose "disability" changes like the wind, while she rides horses, throws hay bales, walks her dogs, travels long distances, stacks yard debris, sleeps all day, and lives the life of riley. So yeah the one about disability is funny to me. the other one is funny too but more because I can picture the grin on the old guys face thinking how he got his rocks off.

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Joe and I live in an apartment right smack dab in the center of Toronto. I have worked in the field of disability since graduating from university over 30 years ago. I became disabled a few years ago now and use a wheelchair when out in the world. For those interested, most of my books are available through www.diverse-city.com and if you are wishing to book a lecture or consultation you may do so by emailing daveandjoe@hotmail.com

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There are those who have affected the course of my work and my career. I wish to remember them here:

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