One thing you can bet your bottom dollar on - when it comes to being wacky the Liberal Democrats won't disappoint.

The president's duck is a popular attraction

As hung-over delegates wander bleary-eyed between the conference stands they are being urged to handle sex toys, pick up condoms, buy garish yellow baseball caps as well as sign petitions calling for an end to university fees.

At one stall raising cash for the party's candidate in Michael Howard's seat, Peter Carroll, delegates are being asked to beat the Tory leader in a Bruce Forsyth-style play your cards right game.

The Help Beat Howard stand invites players to put a series of Mr Howard's "gaffes" - written on the back of playing cards - in chronological order.

Players have to predict whether cards pinned to the wall will reveal whether the supposedly dodgy statement happened earlier or later than the last one revealed.

Vibrators

Three correct guesses and you win a lollipop, while those successfully reaching the end wins a 'Help beat Howard' T-shirt - but not one that you would wear.

Mr Carroll's campaign helper Miranda Piercy says: "Obviously people can see the humour in it but there is a serious point too."

The Family Planning Association draws giggling delegates in with a couple of items not normally seen in polite company.

Helping to beat Howard

"The sex toys are partly about attracting attention but it's also about promoting the positive side to sex," says the FPA's Caroline Davey.

"It can be a bit boring just giving out condoms and talking about sexually transmitted diseases," she says.

"The condoms are going steadily I think they're going faster at the end of the week than at the beginning. I don't know what that says about all the conference parties," she adds.

I was disappointed to see the Countryside Alliance here. They practically back on to the League Against Cruel Sports. If they were any closer, outright war might break out

Gary ScottEssex councillor

And then there's the Liberal Democrat Image stand where there is more yellow than I have ever seen in one place.