New York Governor Andrew Cuomo says he's received reports that a 2.9 magnitude earthquake struck today "just west-southwest" of Altamont, up near Albany. Goodness, what will befall us next? Locusts, probably. And volcanoes. Then a collapse into the ocean.

No word yet on whether the mild little quake was a follow-up to this week's quake in Virginia, or if it's just the ground acting out of jealousy due to all the media attention being given to the sky right now. "Although this was a mild earthquake, out of an abundance of caution, I have ordered immediate inspection of nearby infrastructure, including a NYPA inspection of the Blenheim-Gilboa Dam in Schoharie County," the statement says.