10 Things People Don’t Tell You Before You Have a Baby!

You will become an expert on poo and all it’s meanings.

All that luscious hair you had in pregnancy will fall out, in clumps. Before googling it you will be contemplating which life threatening illness you have.

You will go between loathing and loving your partner on many occasions. No sleep and a constantly crying baby can put a strain on any relationship.

The ‘top knot’ will be your new permanent hairstyle and ‘bare faced’ will be your latest make up look.

You quite often roam around in your (non matching – who’s got time to look for a set?) underwear to save extra washing when your child barfs on you for the third time that day.

You will be disgusted by the behaviour of the Twirlywoos and wonder how the Night Garden, which seems to be basically a programme about homeless people living in a park, can be so popular.

There will be a woman in the baby class who’s baby will always be one milestone ahead of the rest. You will hate her, but not let it show, urging your child to do something spectacular in her presence.

Your house will quite often be so messy that it will look like one of those homes on ‘Hoarders’. Some items never to be seen again.