Mike Grella scored the fastest goal in league history, and Metro ran off easy winners against a terrible Philly team, 4:1. The win clinched Metro the regular season East title, gave them a spot in next season's CONCACAF Champions League, and keeps them alive in the Supporters Shield race.

The fans barely got a chance to sit down and take in Jesse Marsch's lone lineup change (Lloyd Sam returning for Gonzalo Veron), when Grella scored. A lazy Philly back pass off the opening kickoff was intercepted by the Metro attacker, who raced downfield. His shot took a bounce that slipped past the still-asleep Worms goalkeeper Andre Blake, and the record books had to be rewritten. Grella's seven second tally was one quicker than Tim Cahill's in 2013 against Houston.

Not even three minutes later, Metro got the second. Damien Perrinelle headed down a Sacha Kljestan corner kick, and Bradley Wright-Phillips was left alone on the doorstep. It was that sort of a day for the terrible Worm defense.

Grella got his second in the 17th. Off a Philly turnover, Dax McCarty got the ball to Grella, who walked into the box, duped a defender, and slotted it to Blake's short side. In the 44th, Metro got their forth, when Kemar Lawrence got on the end of a McCarty cross. It was the Jamaican's first MLS goal.

The Worms pulled one back in the middle of the second half, but that was mostly irrelevant. Metro now goes into the regular-season finale with awful Chicago knowing that a win will get them the Shield...