I’m not doing any Valentine’s gift guides this year because, quite frankly, I can’t even come up with a single gift for my lovely husband, let alone a heartfelt collection that you lot could choose from.

A Twitter friend suggested that I just need to look down to find his gift, I assumed that she was talking about my baby bump rather than my vagina, but either way… after 10yrs of marriage and one snotty five-year old, I don’t think either suggestion will raise more than a sarcastic eyebrow.

However, the one Valentine’s-related release that has made my blood pump a little faster is this beautiful collection of sultry reds from Illamasqua. If you’ve been reading Lipglossiping for more than a few seconds, you’ll already know about my love affair with red lipstick. I only own the one from Illa’s range (Sangers), so to see the ridiculously feisty Maneater in my parcel evoked a couple of mid-air heel clicks.

The new I’m The One Collection* contains a total of four passionate pieces from the British makeup line. Including:

Of all the items in the collection, I have to say that I fell in love with the least likely offering.

Feisty, the brand new lip pencil is one of the most pigmented-yet-creamy red lip-liners I’ve ever had the pleasure to use. With a deep, long-lasting pigment… you usually have to compromise on the texture and a dry, unyielding lip pencil is something that many of us will be familiar with. No such compromises are necessary here, it’s an absolute dream.

I’ll leave you with a couple of extremely pose-y FOTDs featuring the new Feisty Colouring Pencil and Maneater Lipstick.

If you fancy the chance at winning some hand-picked pieces from the new collection, you have until the 15th February to brush off your Social Media skillz and tweet @illamasqua a Red Lipstick Selfie, using the hashtag #ImTheOne – good luck!!

The Illamasqua I’m The One Collection is available to buy on counter and online now at illamasqua.com, priced at £50.00

* press sample

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Surely Illamasqua’s Magnetism from the latest Generation Q collection is the perfect lipstick to welcome the colder weather? It’s like taking baby steps into the vamp. Tiny little raspberry-pink coloured steps. Now, I’m no great lover of Illamasqua lipsticks – I just don’t like the harder formula… of all the ones I’ve bought and tried in the past, I’ve only actually held on to Sangers (bit dry but beautiful colour), Atomic (the violet flash slays me), and Eurydice (because everyone needs a bit of pink neon don’t they?).

But… what I’m trying to say is that… when it comes to lipstick, I don’t go to Illamasqua for their amazing, lip-friendly formulas. Well, not until now…

I mean jeez, dare I say it… it’s almost… almost… buttery.

I don’t think I’ve raved about an Illamasqua product for a while (well, except their eyebrow cake in Gaze, eternal HG) but this… you needs this in your life. I’d stopped looking to Illa to provide any lipstick-love for me, are there any other buttery-smooth Illa lip formulas I’ve missed the memo on?!

Please Illamasqua, please remake all your other beautiful shades in this formula.

I perpetually live in hope when it comes to the Precision Inks from Illamasqua. For whatever reason, my body chemistry and the polymer-whatsits inside the formula repel one another. I also know that I’m in the minority when it comes to having trouble getting them to stay on my eyelids but regardless… here’s a quick review of the latest Precision Ink from the great (Great?) British brand…

The Precision Ink provides a neatly tapered, perfectly controllable “brush” with which to dispense the product along the lashline – it’s well designed and allows both precision and decent coverage without needing to take multiple passes. When you get the hang of how the liquid flows from the brush you can use the angles to your advantage and swiftly draw both thick and thin lines.

The formula is fairly wet and does occassionally attach itself more to my lashes than my lashline… but I find that to be true of most non-pen style applicators, whilst they’re great for providing quick coverage, you may have to do a little cleanup afterward, unless you’re very handy with an eyeliner!

Now, as for Wisdom… what makes it special? What made me hope and pray to the Gods of makeup that the formula and I would finally, magically become compatible?

The shade.

Wisdom is an absolutely beautiful gilded olive/antique gold – it reminds me a little of Urban Decay’s old liquid liner in Honey… but perhaps a little more sheer.

I’ve swatched it above both on its own and over a black liquid eyeliner to demonstrate the depth of pigment. Wisdom makes a fabulous alternative to the usual black and is light enough to work really well as part of a simple neutral, work-appropriate look whilst adding a little “interest” to a look that you might be a bit tired of wearing.

Unfortunately, it just doesn’t last well on my eyelids at all. I don’t know if it’s because they’re hooded and I literally “rub” away the product with my upper lid as the day progresses or… gosh, I really don’t know. Either way, none of the Precision Inks I’ve tried since their launch have lasted longer than around 4 hours for me without flaking off in great chunks and leaving bald patches. Other people I’ve spoken to on Twitter find them some of the most long-wearing eyeliners they’ve ever tried. C’est la vie.

Hope you’re reading this from the comfort of your beds, I intend to still be fully tucked up when this post goes live – probably with one eye on Franny’s Feet, Mike the Knight or whatever else is showing on TinyPop that will grant us an extra half hour in bed in the morning. Sweet, sweet children’s T.V. Once that’s over and done with I’ll be heading to my parent’s house to eat my Dad’s birthday cake celebrate my Dad’s birthday. Possibly with a little trip to the supermarket on the way back. Not the most exciting of Saturdays is it?

Whatever you’re doing today, I thought I’d give you a little heads up to a rather tasty free delivery offer that’s gone live over at Illamasqua.com.

The deal lasts until Monday morning and is valid on both domestic and international orders with NO MINIMUM SPEND.

If you’re interested in checking out some of my favourite (and not so well liked) Illamasqua goodies, click here for an archive of Illamasqua-inspired posts. Also worth checking out is the Illamasqua Perfect Pout bundle; The Retractable Lip Brush, any colour in Medium Pencil and any colour in Lipstick for the price of just £38.00, originally £47.50.

I know that some of you will be reading this with your neatly arched brows raised in curiosity at just what on Earth could be considered “terrifying” about eyebrow hair. The rest of you (more normal types) will be reading this, twirling your brow hairs around your index finger.

Left to their own devices, mine grow like wildfire – and I’m not talking Cara Delevingne grandiose brows here; more… Dennis Healy. Given an extra coat of brow set, you could zip wire from here to Lands End on one of mine.

This ultimately means that I take the business of beating them into submission seriously. I’ve stopped shaping them myself because, like a two-year old with a biro, I simply cannot be trusted with a pair of tweezers and a magnifying mirror. Instead, I get them threaded every 5/6 weeks and this is enough to keep the arch well-defined. Preventing them from thereafter developing into McDonald’s ‘golden arches’? Well that bit’s up to me.

These are the brow tools that I simply couldn’t live without.

01: Mascara Spoolie. You can either buy these as purpose-built cosmetic tools or (more thriftily) clean an old mascara wand and use that instead. Either way, a spoolie is an absolute necessity in the fight against unruly brows. Comb through the stragglers before snipping and brush them into place before filling.

02: Brow Set/Gel. You can buy brow set products but I use a clear mascara. The Maybelline Great Lash in clear is perfect for the job because it holds the hairs in place without making them feel crusty and it doesn’t leave behind a telltale ‘wet look’.

03: Brow Powder. Much easier than pencils in my opinion. My holy grail is the Illamasqua Brow Powder but the most important thing is to find a good shade match in whatever you use and unless your brows are naturally auburn, beware of warm-toned browns. Many women use eyeshadow… any powder is fine.

04: Sharp pair of eyebrow scissors. These are nothing special, I bought them years ago off eBay but they’re brilliant. Super sharp with a precise point that trims the hair without pushing them ineffectually along the blade. Always brush the hair upward toward the hairline and trim any that stray outside of the bulk of the brow area. Go easy, you can always trim more but you can’t stick them back on!

05: Tweezers. I favour the brand Tweezerman for my tweezers, particularly the wide-grip style. There’s nothing more frustrating than a pair of tweezers that fail to pluck. Particularly when you’ve psyched yourself up to grab an eye-watering one only to find that the points have clutched at nothing more substantial than air. Don’t be afraid to attack anything that looks like it may contribute to a mono-brow or those random ones that appear to be sprouting far closer to your eyelid than your brow-line.

06: Angled Brow Brush. A fairly stiff brush is best for running the powder through the brow area. Always start filling-in from the middle of the brow to avoid depositing too much product on the inner third. Unles you’re going for the scouse brow/Katie Price look – in which case, just dispense of the brush and grab the nearest Sharpie pen. Also, get off my blog.

What steps do you take to keep from tripping over your eyebrows? Do you thread and then leave them be or are you a serial tweezerer?

Want some tips on creating the perfect ‘flick’? Need some guidance in mastering your smoky eye technique? Well cancel any plans you’ve made for this Sunday because Illamasqua are holding their inaugural Beauty School Drop-In at their Beak Street store.

The brand will be running a series of 15-minute makeup classes to give you the confidence and know-how to wield your makeup brushes without causing any traffic-stopping beauty faux-pas! And best of all? It’s completely free to attend!

The class timetable is available online now, so click through and take a look – you can attend as many or as few as you like, though don’t be surprised if the store gets kinda busy!

Which of the classes is taking your fancy and will you be attending beauty school this weekend?

Well, not entirely monstrous, but green is not a colour that I can pull off with much success. Mr. L, who never comments on my makeup (other than to tell me I look lovely when I drop enough hints that he ought to be saying something), readily agrees that green is not a colour I should allow into my makeup-playing repertoire too often. About halfway through the day I asked him, “Have you noticed that I’m wearing green on my eyes today?”.

“Yes. *pause* It doesn’t look too bad does it?”

And that ladies, clearly means that it looks amazing. Or not. I’ll go with the former.

Do you ever get the feeling that you’re getting a bit old to wear bright colours on your eyes? I do. I mean, when I was 27…. I thought I was getting too old, but now that I’m 30 and I’m looking at the photo thinking, “I think it doesn’t look too weird” but, I surround myself (online) with beautiful women who love to have fun and enjoy a passion for makeup. What must women who don’t share our creativity when it comes to slap think?

Of course, one totally shouldn’t care what other women think and I’m neither fishing nor asking for validation here, it’s just that being on the cusp of the wrong side of 30 makes me hesitate. Nothing more and nothing less, I guess it comes down to the fact that you can’t really pull off the “cute” thing once you reach your thirties, and so there’s no room for error in the same way as when you were younger.

“Should know better”. I’d like that on my headstone… along with “One Day”, a long-held shot at faith.

I usually only have time in the morning for the basics when it comes to makeup but Mr. L has been super-generous with his time in the run-up to releasing his next game, so you can expect a few more FOTDs than normal simply because it feels lovely to walk out of the house in a proper made-up face once a week you know? The type where you’ve played and pontificated over choosing what to apply rather than reached for the quickest, most fool-proof things you own.

These trio of eyeshadows from Illamasqua’s latest Human Fundamentalism* collection landed on my desk this week and I thought I’d post up some swatches. The three matte shades are: Vernau (yellow ochre), CanCan (bright lilac purple), and Pivot (yellow green). Get ready for some piccies… (I dunno why I always say that like it’s 2001 and you’re all hitting X so as not to max out your 56k dial up *shrugs*)

The shades have fair to good pigmentation (for mattes) and blend nicely. The pick up is powdery but again, this is something you often have to contend with when you’re using a matte formula. On with the swatches…

Each shade applied with Illamasqua’s Sealing Gel* (as you would for an eyeliner application).

My attempts at a FOTD sadly ended with me looking at myself in the mirror and declaring “you look like a twat in those colours”.

But…. and this is where it gets interesting…

I went to the bathroom to remove my clown face and upon scrubbing with face wash and warm water….

The swatches done with the Sealing Gel would. not. budge. I mean, they really wouldn’t budge. I’m sat here 5 hours later and they’re still looking at me.

So my review is being thoroughly hijacked because I can’t coo over a trio of eyeshadows in shades that I wouldn’t be seen dead in (did I mention Illamasqua will makeover your dead body?). However… I can get excited over the Illamasqua Sealing Gel which would be a phenomenal addition to your makeup routine if, like me, you have hooded eyelids and can’t stop eyeliner from transfering up to your hairline when you blink a bit too hard.

The shadows are ok, if you’re gonna get all hot and sweaty over them… you probably don’t read my blog anyway to be honest. But check out the inconspicuous looking bottle of sealing gel next time you’re near a counter. I already own/use a mineral-makeup branded sealing gel… this is 100x better.

Illamasqua’s sealing gel is priced at £10.50 and can be purchased on counter or online. Also, if you haven’t seen them already – check out Illa’s pretty glorious moving swatches on their new-fangled website. The Human Fundamentalism Collection can be seen here.

My poor, poor face. I’m in the middle of a snot fest and I’m now understanding why I was brought up on a diet of haliborange. Throughout the year I’m not a terribly sickly person (I was as a kid) which is just aswell because I’m the biggest wimp you could meet (probably). I even have a ‘cold’ voice – you know that weak-sounding, more-than-slightly whiney tone that resonates through the nose more than the throat? My poor family. Anyway, this week’s cold has been particularly frustrating because of how beautiful it’s been outside! The whole family have had it and thus we’ve been mostly quarantined indoors through the weekend. I decided to make a break for it yesterday and thus needed a face of makeup to disguise my ravaged skin. It’s so dry and dull, combined with the snot-induced nose flakes and hormonal jaw-line mega zits? Not pretty.

I massaged my freshly-washed skin with a combination of Liz Earle SuperSkin Concentrate* and Alpha H All For Eve Age Delay Facial Oil* in an attempt to revive some life. Kinda like a cardiac massage for the face before giving my driest spots (flakey bits) at light cover of Lucas Paw Paw Ointment (this stuff is great for disguising nose flakes). I went with the spring-like weather and injected some colour onto my face with a bright streak of blue under my lower lashline. This is my favourite way to wear the shade and I do it quite a lot in the Summer. Anyway, enough talk. Here’s my Springtime in the Sahara FOTD:

I think I could have done with a touch of highlighter but I’m otherwise looking fairly perky considering I felt like DEATH. Like my Tammy Faye Baker eyelashes? Tough – I do! I never put that much on my lower lashes normally but now I’m gonna (until I get bored of it).

Illamasqua have been at it again with their Autumn/ Winter collection, ‘Theatre of the Nameless’, being yet another which has had the blogosphere abuzz. Inspired by the dark, decadent creatures of ’20s Berlin who owned the night with illicit acts and wild looks, the ‘Theatre of the Nameless’ is an unapologetic nod towards Illamasqua’s original inspirations.

To my surprise, when Charlotte received a few ‘Theatre of the Nameless’ items to review, she sent them my way since such ‘odd’ shades are pretty everyday for me! Especially lipsticks, with Illamasqua ‘Disciple’ (inky navy blue) being a firm favourite.

‘Kontrol’ lipstick (£15.50) is a medium dark, blue toned purple with a twist of grey and extremely impressive pigmentation. One swipe and this baby is as opaque as they come. To me, ‘Kontrol’ is the perfect ‘night on the town’ colour if you’re a little…um…gothically inclined? Alternatively natured? Heck. If you’re up for wearing something more interesting or ‘edgy’ than primary red or hot pink – this is for you!

I love ‘Kontrol’ with a strong, opaque, sharp application, but it also looks lovely dabbed on and coated with a sheer gloss for a more forgiving finish. This lipstick will last as long as you do, I’ve gone entire days (and then well into the night) wearing this without it fading or smudging – very impressive indeed!

‘Kink’ polish (£13.50) is one of four from this collection, all of which have the same ‘rubber-look’, waxy finish. The new texture (for Illamasqua at least, I recognise the finish as satin/ semi-matte) is bound to be love it or hate it with all who try it. Personally, I’m a fan, though my opinion may have been swayed by the gorgeous, deep green colour! ‘Kink’ was extremely thin (managed to drip it down my jeans – oops), opaque in two coats, fast drying and lasted two days before any chips appeared – which, for me, is average. The best thing? It’s called ‘Kink’. ‘KINK’. Who doesn’t want to say they have a bottle of ‘Kink’?!

All in all, another fascinating and boundary pushing (green gloss – need I say more?) collection from Illamasqua, but by now – would we expect anything less?

I’m usually the woman who loves the fragrances that others hate, so reading Julian Kynaston describe the brand’s first foray into perfumery as:

There’s no middle ground with Freak. The name, the packaging and the fragrance will polarise opinion to simply love or hate.

I can’t help but feel tremendously excited. I’m really hoping for something that strays wildly from the well-trodden, mass-appeal fruity-floral, mild musk that proliferates the market today.

Illamasqua’s Freak lists top notes of: Black Davana, Opium Flower and Belladonna followed up with heart notes that include: Poison Hemlock, Datura and Queen of the Night (are they making these florals up?) sitting on a base of aromatic Frankincense, Oud and Myrrh. Finally, something I can grasp at, and although I’m not the world’s bigest fan of Frankincense, I do love (quality) Oud and Myrrh. Freak will be available to purchase only in 75ml bottles and will be priced at £59.00.

I have a niggling concern that Illamasqua Freak has the potential to demonstrate a classic case of style over content. Everything about the fragrance has been so carefully constructed to fit with the brand’s ethos and whilst that’s clearly not something to be criticised, I hope that the sum of these individual (edgy-sounding) notes add up to something that represents and rings true for their fans. I don’t actually care if I hate it, I just want it to be engaging enough to make me care one way or another. I also want it to be powerful, with great sillage and turn heads regardless – it wouldn’t be Illamasqua without that quality. The fact that it will be released exclusively as an EDP has me hoping.

First impressions based upon the campaign film and images alone? I dislike the name, love the film and adore the bottle.

So there we have it, Illamasqua’s first fragrance. On paper, it works. On the fragrance blotter and under our noses? Time will tell.

Freak by Illamasqua is available for pre-order from the 3rd October online at Illamasqua.com before it launches on the 20th October.