Another Life ... I wish I were someone else

In 1978, Erma Bombeck wrote a book entitled "The Grass is Always Greener
over the Septic Tank." It was a most humorous read, at the time. Of
course, this title falls in line with the idea that "the grass is always
greener on the other side of the fence." But, her sentiments hit the
idea head on in noting that there must be some specific reason that the
grass is greener "over there." While the top layer is nice, plush, and
green, what is it that boils underneath?

In our very early years, we all strive to be like "someone else," as
we're not really sure who we are at the time. Eventually, we reach an
age, a level of maturity, where our role models change and we become,
well, us. However, in so many situations, we still strive to be like
someone else or we envy or hate others because we are not like them ---
a most peculiar waste of time on our parts indeed.

Sometimes we strive to be like others because of the situations or
challenges that we must deal with every day. Indeed, it would be
spectacular to drop everything in life and simply walk in someone else's
shoes into what we picture as our "ideal situation." However, did you
ever stop and think about that other person's situation? You only see
the positive aspects that "attract" you to this other person's life, yet
there are always negative aspects hiding beneath the surface

You must realize that each and every life path comes with its share of
challenges. Someone who "appears" better off than us actually has a
different "class of challenges." Yet, it's not how "challenge free" a
life can be, but how those challenges are managed that makes a life
fulfilling.

Realize that we sometimes hold on to challenges as an excuse to not move
forward in life. Whether we like it or not, we sometimes like to "hang
in place" because our current situation provides us with a safe, comfort
zone with which we are familiar. Familiarity not only promotes a
comforting feeling, but it also breeds lethargy. To turn you life into
something more fulfilling and change your challenges, you must decide on
the challenges you will undertake.

You must determine what it is that you want in your life and then define a path to achieve --- specify your goals to reach your ultimate Vision. Then, evaluate your challenges to
determine if those challenges you are tackling will propel you toward
your Vision or hinder your progress.

If we sit still in our lives, we "create" personal challenges as a
mechanism to keep us busy and to fool our souls into believing that we
must remain stationary due to numerous setbacks. Many of these
challenges have to do with unsatisfied desires and lethargy including
absorbing the problems of others and living in your head to satisfy the
needs of the soul.

However, when we're moving forward in life, we encounter challenges as a result of change and momentum where the Universe must create balance in our wake. In the long run, it is easier
to only manage forward-moving challenges than to have to create and then manage our own challenges.

As you can see, challenges can be changed from "problems" by merely
altering their purpose. It is a change in perspective that changes our
attitude to those challenges that we face everyday. However, this
change in perspective can only occur if you have a plan in place that
allows you to look at things from a different angle. To do so, you must
determine if the resolution of a challenge will be a benefit to your
desired direction.

If not, then the challenge might not be essential to
resolve, except for purposes of ego. Yet, ego is only a false protector
that comes into play when we lose our way. Once we have a direction in
life, ego can be replaced with self-esteem to allow you a chance to
build and move forward.

In the long run your desire for someone else's life will merely bring on
someone else's challenges. If you do decide to take on someone else's
life, although their current destination might be appealing, their path
might not be something that will satisfy your desires. Become your own
hero and stop envying the lives of others as, in most cases, they envy
your life as well. As you plan and define your direction, you will find
that your life is truly unique. Learn to love yourself and your life
and take the time to "turn it into" everything that you desire.

--- About the Author ---

Edward B. Toupin is an author, life-strategy coach, counselor, technical
writer, and PhD Candidate living in Las Vegas, NV. Among other things,
he authors books, articles, and screenplays on topics ranging from
career success through life organization and fulfillment. For more
information, e-mail Edward at: toupin@toupin.com