My boyfriend and I are 22 and 19 and we’ve been dating almost a year, and living together in his dad’s house. The problem is, we’ve been fighting a lot, our sex life has gone from almost every day to once a week if we’re lucky and every time we have an argument he ends it and tells me to move to my mother’s house. I will admit that some fights have been due to me catching him using dating sites. I know, I was snooping, but I stopped because I don’t want to know what he does anymore, I just want to be happy with him.

I can’t even talk to him about it because it ends up in fights and breaking up, like tonight for instance, he broke up with me and I almost had a panic attack I was so upset. I don’t know what to do. I’m a first timer at this, so while I don’t want to leave him but I’m starting to think I have no choice but to move on. Koda

Oh honey. This is not a good situation on any level. You know that, right? Moving on IS the best thing for you – not least because the guy is trawling dating sites in his spare time! Ignoring that crap because you just ‘want to be happy with him’ is nuts. You can’t be happy with someone who lies and cheats and breaks up with you every second day. You deserve better than that.

I get that you’re young and you’re new to this and sure – the pressure to make it work when you haven’t much relationship experience can be all-consuming. If it doesn’t work, we think we’ll never get over it. But I promise you, Koda, you will. You may even look back on this experience in years to come, shake your head and say, ‘What the hell was I thinking?’ (I’ve done that more times than I can count). So pack your stuff and go to your mother’s place. Tell him it’s over and not to contact you. Read my tips on plugging back into life after a break-up. And know this: you’ll be okay.

Love, reality chick

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4 Comments

Totally agree with all above. I don’t even know you Hun but I already know you don’t deserve to be treated like this. Don’t validate his appalling behavior by accepting it anymore. You owe it to yourself and the wonderful future relationships you will have by drawing a line in the sand and ending it. The longer you stay the worse the damage will be. Sadly we have to kiss a lot of toads before we get our prince but it’s time to stick this toad in a blender 🙂

This guy is telling you to get away almost all the time, so for your own peace of mind and (probably) personal safety, you should pack up and leave.
Don’t believe in the basic lie that “Fifty Shades of Grey” has been peddling all along: that a good woman can turn a bad man into a good one by putting up with his abuse. It doesn’t work that way. The longer you stay with your current BF, the more dangerous (yes, my dear, dangerous) the whole situation may become.

Yoohoo, people

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