Ed Balls to be questioned over Diana’s death

Following hit and run allegations being made against him, Shadow Chancellor Ed Balls has also been questioned by police regarding the tragic death of Princess Diana in 1997.

Balls maintains he was in was in Calais at the time in question, purchasing large quantities of wine and cigarettes in order to claim back in expenses at the UK value. Should he be convicted of the crime, it is likely he will face a public tea-bagging by anyone who was affected by the tragedy.

Balls has also been linked with the sinking of the Titanic in 1912 and his defence of not yet being alive at the time is still unsubstantiated. The iceberg itself has been unavailable for questioning, though allegations that it has changed its name to Eric Pickles may also be investigated.