Opening Bell: 10.25.13

Abe Says Japan Ready To Counter China’s Power (WSJ)
Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe said he envisions a resurgent Japan taking a more assertive leadership role in Asia to counter China’s power, making Tokyo a representative in the region for countries nervous about Beijing’s military buildup and a possible U.S. pullback. “I’ve realized that Japan is expected to exert leadership not just on the economic front, but also in the field of security in the Asia-Pacific,” Mr. Abe told The Wall Street Journal, referring to his meetings with the region’s leaders at a series of summits earlier this month.

Norway’s Sovereign Wealth Fund Shuns Stocks (Bloomberg)
Norway’s sovereign wealth fund, the world’s largest, warned that stock market gains may reverse as Europe’s biggest equity investor said it won’t use new inflows to buy more shares. “Our share in the stock market has been stable or falling even though markets are rising, and that means in practice that we’re not using inflows to buy stocks,” Yngve Slyngstad, chief executive officer of Norges Bank Investment Management, said at a press conference today in Oslo. The fund is preparing for a “correction” in stock prices, he said.

Twitter IPO Pegs Valuation At Modest $11 Billion (Reuters)
Seeking to avoid a repeat of Facebook Inc’s much-maligned public debut, Twitter Inc revealed more modest ambitions, saying its initial offering would raise up to $1.6 billion and value the company at up to about $11 billion. The valuation was more conservative than the $15 billion some analysts had expected for the social media phenomenon, potentially attracting investors who might consider the money-losing company’s listing price a better deal, with room to rise.

Consumer Sentiment in U.S. Fell to 10-Month Low in October (Bloomberg)
The Thomson Reuters/University of Michigan final consumer sentiment index decreased to 73.2, the weakest this year, from 77.5 in September. The median estimate in a Bloomberg survey called for a decline to 75 compared with a preliminary reading of 75.2.

Chicken Decoy Helps Police Nail 31 Drivers In Lake Elsinore (Patch)
A member of the Lake Elsinore Police Department dressed up as a chicken Thursday as part of a law enforcement crackdown aimed at drivers who don’t yield to pedestrians in crosswalks. The department conducted the crosswalk enforcement operation at five different locations in the city; two spots were located in close proximity to Lake Elsinore schools. There have been numerous complaints from the community about unsafe drivers near local schools. Lake Elsinore motor officers monitored crosswalks as the decoy walked through, explained the department’s Sgt. Peter Giannakakos. In total, officers ended up citing 31 drivers for failing to give way to a pedestrian in a crosswalk as well as one citation for speeding, the sergeant reported.

FDIC May Leap On JP Morgan Settlement (NYP)
The Federal Deposit Insurance Corp., a tertiary regulator, is mulling whether it wants to jump aboard JPMorgan’s $13 billion mortgage bond settlement, sources said Thursday. The late arrival of the FDIC, which is primarily an insurer safeguarding bank deposits, has bogged down the settlement talks, sources said. Once thought ready to be signed this week, the JPMorgan-regulator settlement is now not expected until next week. The FDIC, which has about $3 billion or $4 billion at issue with JPMorgan, was brought into the negotiations at the “11th hour,” said sources familiar with the situation.

China PBOC Unveils Prime Interest Rate for Commercial Bank Loans (WSJ)
Analysts said that the new loan rate—officially known as the “loan prime rate”—could eventually replace the benchmark lending rate that currently serves as a key guide for banks. Unlike that rate, which is set by China’s central bank, the new prime rate would be set by Chinese lenders.

You know, I consider myself to be more of an emotional farter. Like, if you tell me to fart – I can't, but maybe say I love you, and now I am ripping ass like middle eastern man on his new child bride. And just doing some reflection, this is probably why I am so drawn to chicks from Columbia and Brown.

I gotta say I am the complete opposite! I just kinda walk around without shame shitting myself. It's very similar to a horse just decideding to walk and shit at the same time. Come to think of it, that is kinda like my calling card. People are like "hey who left this trail of shit" and then they are like "Oh it's that retard Shazaro!"

No need, when I was considering what to do with my gardening leave from DB I entertained taking the MCAT and as a joke asked Jon if I could perform a vasectomy on him. To my surprise he said yes, so long as I gave him permission to use pictags* and "meh," and the rest as they say, is history.

*If I had realized how horrible they would turn out I might have reconsidered

Hmm, so the running average is 5 articles posted after my lunch break in California. 2 of them are amazing Bess articles, 3 are Shazar articles with net 2.5 sentences. All released within the span of 30 minutes. Most have already been written about and commented on for most of the day from other resources.

SAC

Mary Jo White was the top federal prosecutor in New York City during Bill Bratton’s first run as the Big Apple’s top cop, and she learned a few lessons from his “broken windows” theory: Clean a place up a little, and throw the fucking book at the street urchins who are messing things up with […]