How cool is Johnny Depp? When he (or his publicist) got a letter from an adorable British third grader requesting pirate Captain Jack Sparrow's help in rising up in mutiny against teachers at Meridian Primary School in Greenwich, south-east London -- where J.D. just happens to be filming "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides" -- 'ol John boy knew just what to do: keep the Sparrow dreads on after work and swish on down to the school for some real-life pirating. After regaling the kids with some swashbuckling songs and dances, Depp wisely counseled the tot to hold off on the mutiny, since, you know, the authorities were keeping an eye on him.

That just got us thinking about how awesome it would be if Johnny dressed up as some of his other legendary characters and paid in-character visits to other totally inappropriate audiences.

Don Juan DeMarco Visits the Carmelite Sisters
DJD heard there were a whole bunch of ladies hanging around with no other men in sight, so he figured that was just the place for him to show off some of his patented loverman charms… until he found out they were celibate nuns.

Edward Scissorhands at the Petting Zoo
Poor Eddie Sciss, he can't ride in hot air balloons, is banned from the jumpy at Chuck E. Cheese's and is absolutely never again allowed to go tubing on the river. Imagine his dismay, then, when he went down to the local petting zoo and, well, you can imagine.

Raoul Duke and the Driver's Ed Class
The one person you absolutely, positively don't want as your driver's ed teacher is that perpetually hallucinating, substance hoovering, cigarette chomping "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" lunatic Raoul Duke. Though he is apparently a hell of a parallel parker.

Willy Wonka and the 'Biggest Loser'
You thought Charlie Bucket was disappointed when Willy initially told him he had blown his chance at that lifetime supply of Wonka bars cuz of that stunt with the fizzy lifting drink? Imagine how the weight-obsessed contestants of "The Biggest Loser" would feel if the trippy candyman showed up to surprise them with a truckload of Wonka treats?