Here is the scene on my counter the last time I made the grocery store run…

They're here...

For me, it looks like a scene out of a horror movie because, to put it quite bluntly, I do not like healthy food. I know, I know…but it’s true, well maybe it’s not entirely true. Allow me to clarify. I do actually like each of the “healthy foods” on their own. Really, I think most food is pretty darn tasty but it tastes infinitely worse to me if someone starts throwing around words like “low-carb” or ” antioxidant” or “protein packed” or the worst, “only___ calories per serving”. Ick. This language is grossing me out right now.

Why do I feel this way you might ask? Did some fruit or vegetable abuse me when I was a child? Did someone water board me while repeating the phrase, “serving size”? Was I involved in some domestic dispute that involved a piece of whole grain toast or a package of skim milk cheese? The answer to all of this is, “Um, no”, but nonetheless, I do recoil at the slightest whisper of these phrases and frankly I think this is a little bit weird. Why do I rage against those things that are good for me to eat and their verbiage?

Well, unless I’ve repressed something in which case we’re gonna need to call Dr. Phil, here is my own self diagnosis of the problem in one word…and another word…in two words:

Sometimes I just feel the need to rail against some of the current trends. And the idea that I have to have some book to tell me that eating an entire family size bowl of Mashed Potatoes or seven slices of Pumpkin Pie is inappropriate, well, it just rubs me the wrong way. I only ate six slices of pie last Thanksgiving and that was without using any book as a frame of reference.

Deliciousness

I have always lived my life with the understanding that chimichangas taste better than brown rice, that whole milk is sweeter and creamier than the blue water that is skim milk and that real Coke tastes a whole lot better than plain old water. I don’t know, I just don’t think taste buds lie.

All this rambling is leading somewhere, I promise…and here it is:

I recently had an epiphany that turned all of this fine thinking on its head.

All of my feelings about healthy food and the words used to describe it were…wait for it…immature. Shocking, I know. Actually, I got started thinking along this line of maturity while reading my Bible. Those of you Fellow Daily Bible readers will know exactly what I mean when I say that I was reading in 1 Corinthians 13, the chapter on love, and instead of stopping in the usual place, in Verse 8 “Love never fails”, I went on to finish the chapter and here’s what I found in Verse 11.

“When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.”

Now, it’s not like I’ve never heard this verse before. No, I’ve been a believer for a long time and I’ve heard this verse many times but this time it carried with it such conviction that I had a hard time moving on from it. I tried to think honestly about the many components of my life. Had I put away childish ways in many of them? In some cases the answer was a sure and resounding, Yes. In others it was a sure and resounding…Kind of. In the area of maintaining a healthy diet and regular exercise, it was an Absolutely not. I realized that I had some immediate growing up to do.

And so, began the process, which I will continue in the weeks to come to discuss in this, my little corner of the world. The all important journeys of learning about how to healthfully feed my family, to truly change my thinking on the way those good, whole foods taste, and to make more active choices everyday have simultaneously begun but infinitely more important is that I think I am finally on the way to permanently putting those childish ways behind me…Now, I’m off to Taco Bell, anyone want anything?

Yesterday, I did try to write you all about these granola bars but the WordPress website was protesting some anti-piracy bill thereby causing every WordPress article to be blacked out and read “Censored”.

Personally, I didn’t care for this at all because it gave the idea that everything one writes about is illicit and inappropriate.

I do want to assure you, Dear Reader, that every effort has been made to keep this Granola Bar article as clean as possible.

Granola bars have to be some of my favorite snack food, maybe my most favorite, but in truth we have always had a complicated relationship. I admire, obsess, plot and plan; the Granola overcooks, hardens, and crumbles. Rebellious is the word that most comes to mind when I think of making Granola Bars because when I ask them to stay together they, quite rebelliously, will themselves to fall apart. I confess I do not know just what granola has against being in bar form.

However, I do know that I have something very much against commercial Granola Bars, not only are they expensive and positively soaked in high fructose corn syrup (wait a minute…so that’s how you keep them together…soak them in chemical laden sugar water!) but they also don’t taste very good. It has been a dilemma of mine for sometime.

So, I decided to go back to the drawing board and the ever obliging internet was chock full of information on the subject.

Okay, so through my research I have come to find out that the first rule of Granola Bars is that we do not use regular oats. And that the second rule of Granola Bars is that we do not use regular oats. We always use quick oats, instead. If you don’t, the bars will instantly crumble into a delicious pile on the counter when you cut them and then, like me, you will be sorry. My understanding is that you can use regular oats if you whiz them around in the food processor a couple of times to break them up a bit, which will help them stick together more. But why waste your time? Since most of us have access to quick oats, my advice would be to use them.

(Will Probably)Stay Together Granola Bars

2 1/2 C. quick oats

1/2 C. semi-sweet chocolate chips

1/2 C. brown sugar

1/2 tsp. salt

1/2 C. canola oil

1/4 C. honey

3 T creamy peanut butter

1/2 tsp. vanilla

Combine all the ingredients, except the chocolate chips and mix until they are very well combined and look a bit crumbly. If the mixture is too dry at this point you can add a bit more oil or honey. Then, mix in chocolate chips and press mixture into a well greased 8×8 pan. I did what the author suggested and used a bit a parchment paper so I could get the bars out easily and I would highly recommend it so after you spray the pan, cut a piece of parchment paper big enough to cover the bottom of pan, up the sides, and to stick out a bit from the top so you can use it like handles to help loosen the bars. Now press the mixture into the pan and bake at 350 degrees for about 21 minutes. Bars should just be starting to look a bit golden on the top.

The next step is to leave them overnight. Really. I read this and thought it was a joke but it was not. If you don’t they will crumble into a delicious pile on the counter. If you do, they will stay together in the shape of bars. Like this…

Cut into bars using a long knife and store in airtight container or ziploc bag.

Or, you can wrap them in wax paper and seal them with a sticker or with tape and a ribbon…the kids LOVED this!

Gogetem’Broncos!!!

Remember when you were a kid, I know for some of us that is ancient history but try to think way back to what it really felt like to be a kid. Can you remember the feeling of utter starvation after a hot summer day of swimming when it felt like you might really die of hunger en route from the pool to the dinner table? Did you ever come home from school on a snowy day, smell something amazing wafting from the kitchen and decide on the spot that your mom was the best mom…ever? Remember when you had to ask your parents before you turned on the tv or wore your new sweater or had another cookie? I can remember thinking, “When I grow up I will eat as many cookies as I want!” (a philosophy that has not served me well, I might add, but that is a story for another time). Oh, and Christmas! Remember Christmas as a kid…the smell of turkey (when you didn’t have to cook it!), the twinkling Christmas lights (everywhere!)…the anticipation levels so high you almost couldn’t take it, every wrapped gift had such possibility!

And do you remember that feeling of joy in its purest form when, once in a while, you were given the perfect toy? Not the toy you wanted because all your friends had it or the one you begged for because you saw it on tv but the toy that you got and instantly it became a beloved part of you, just like that. For me, it was a beautiful Madam Alexandra doll named Alex and for my kids, it’s been The Sled.

Who knew that when my parents gave my kids sleds, they would hit the Perfect Toy Jackpot?! I remember enjoying sledding when I was a kid, but I’d get cold pretty quickly and want to head inside…this is nothing like that. These guys are hardcore. The kids have officially become meteorologists…it’s like living with Al Roper. They check the forecast everyday, willing it to say “Snow”! In fact, they have become so interested in the weather that I have stopped checking altogether for myself, no need. If I need to know what the forecast is I just ask one of the kids. On Sunday, Lauren informed me that I was inappropriately dressed because the high was “going to be 50”. On Monday, Sam asked his dad if he thought his Wednesday evening cello lesson would be cancelled because it was going to snow (Adam had no idea it was going to snow on Wednesday).

When it snows, Sam and Lauren, who generally are not fast movers in the morning, get up early to hit the hill before breakfast and I do suppose that most of their physical education credits this year will be derived from the great sport of sledding.

Their sheer joy and elation has led me to believe that the only real advantage to growing up is that you get to get married and put together your own little brood of Sledders, or Snowboarders as they call themselves (even though they are usually seated and do not own any actual snow boards)…