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The Most Important Relationship You Can Have Is With Yourself…Unless You Can Be Friends With Oprah…Always Choose Oprah…

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First week back, folks…first week back.

(While prepping them to write a friendly letter to themselves, about what three New Year’s Resolutions they’d like to take for 2015.)

Me: “Before you start, I want you to jot down three resolutions that you’re going to include in the body of your letter. Remember, two things you want to change…one thing you want to learn. Would any of you like to share one of your ideas? I’ll start with one of mine…I’m going to read at least twenty-three books before school ends in May.”

D’Avonte: “Twenty-three books!?”

Me: “One for every week between now and summer.”

D’Avonte: “That’s crazy.”

Me: “Well, what did you put?”

D’Avonte: “Keep bein’ fierce, become famous, and get myself a man.”

Me: “I need you to pick two things you’re going to CHANGE, and one thing you want to learn. What do you want to learn?”

D’Avonte: “If I tell you what I want to learn, you’re going to write me a referral.”

Me: (sigh) “Then I suggest you think of something that WON’T get you a referral.”

D’Avonte: (rolling eyes) “Fiiiiiine, ‘learn to drive’.”

Me: “Thank you, sweetie.” (walking away)

D’Avonte: (under her breath) “Like that’s more important than learning to be better in bed.”