Sunday, December 09, 2007

Dangle Wrangle 2007

I got back from a Guitar Hero rockin' trip down to Tacoma this morning at about 1am. The drivers in Seattle are crazy around midnight. I got to drive the new Saab, and that thing has some getupandgo! I would be motoring along with the speed of traffic, assuming it was around 65-70, and I'd look down and be going 80.

The drive back from Tacoma was pretty funny. I'm not the craziest driver out there, but unless I'm distracted, I usually follow the "Nine you're fine, Ten you're mine" cop slogan when driving. I came across an unmarked cop car about five miles outside of Tacoma, and slowed down and trailed it from a ways back. Not a minute later, this car comes zooming up two lanes to the right of me, and passes a semi on the right side (semi was in 2nd lane, crazy driver passed in far right lane). The unmarked cop car swerves from the leftmost lane across three lanes of traffic and passes the semi on the right as well, then proceeds to ride the crazy driver's ass for a good quarter mile.

So I'm wondering if the cop just didn't get a gun on the driver, or if the unmarked cop car is even a cop at all. The car looks identical to a cop car, but it doesn't even have the little bulb of a side mirror that gives away all the other cop cars. I couldn't see a big antenna anywhere either. The crazy driver slowed WAY down after recognizing this "cop" swerved across three lanes of traffic and was riding his ass at 90+ mph.

I kept my distance for the 20 or so miles I trailed the "cop." What was funny is that at least six other cars came ZOOMING past me, and then would practically screech their brakes once they saw the "cop" car. The cop led our little pod of me and crazy drivers, all driving 65mph and exchanging glances at each other in between glances at our speedometers and the road.

If that dude actually wasn't a cop at all, that would be hilarious!

Today was also a bit crazy.

As much as I wish I could be in Vegas with the other bloggers, that just wasn't the smartest option for me. So instead of cooping myself inside all weekend, I headed down to Tacoma yesterday and played in the Sixth Annual Dangle Wrangle frisbee tournament. It is an all-men's hat tournament (which follows yesterday's all-female "Chick Flick"). I played in the tournament three or four years ago, and we had a very solid group of guys and won it. I wasn't planning on playing this year, but I haven't gotten out as much as I wanted to this last month--and wasn't going to Vegas--so I signed up earlier this week.

The best part about Dangle Wrangle is the mandatory spike rule. Spikes are usually considered bad spirit (think touchdown dance but with a little more taunting and less crowd play). For Dangle Wrangle, if you DON'T spike the disc, you don't get the point. The Tournament Director split us into 8 teams of action heroes, ranging from Clint Eastwood to Chuck Norris.

My team was Wesley Snipes. Boo-yah! Although not a very big action movie like Demolition Man, Blade, or Double Impact, my favorite Wesley Snipes quote has to be from "White Men Can't Jump." Woody Harrelson and Snipes are betting money on 3-pointers, and Woody needs to make the last one to tie Snipes. Snipes walks out in front of Harrelson and shakes his butt from side to side and says, "The wind moves the ball six to eight inches." Harrelson misses, and Snipes grabs the cash and scoots.

So yeah, I brought out that spike. Other favorites today were using the frisbee as Blade's sword, and slicing down everyone else on the team who became vampires after the score. A spin on that was that the vampires take Blade's sword, then promptly get their hand chopped off from the kick-ass fingerprint verification on the sword (best part in the movie!).

We played against the Jean Claude Van Damme team and brought out some obscure references, like "Sonic BOOM!" because Van Damme played Guile in the Street Fighter movie.

But my favorite... has to be... the cheer we did for the Steven Seagal team. One of the guys on my team knew the Family Guy episode where Seagal fights the baby seals, snapping many baby-seal necks in the process.

"You bastards come into our village, kill our fish, pollute our water... I'm going to send you back to hell where you came from!"

The worst part about today's frisbee tournament would have to be the fact that we were playing on a frozen tundra, and in the snow. I've never played frisbee in the snow, at least not organized frisbee. It was fucking cold! Ah! But that reminds me of my Beowulf cheer where after scoring, I took my four layers of shirts and sweatshirts off (which took longer than I anticipated), and screamed:

"I... AM... BEOWULF!!!"

Then I played a couple points with no shirt on, in the snow, to prove my manliness... like I know my good friend Beowulf would have done.