porn

Nurdle, your word of the day. The verb, primarily used in cricket, refers to working a ball away gently. Use this as you will. [Oxford English Dictionary]

Public art plunder: Walt Disney World has removed a bust of Bill Cosby from the theme park’s Academy of Television Arts and Sciences Hall of Fame Plaza. It will not be replaced by the naked Cosby statue with a weeping Fat Albert covering his ding-a-ling. This statue was designed by a precocious high school freshman. [The A.V. Club via The Hollywood Reporter]

Printed Matter names Max Schumann, a longtime employee, to the position of executive director. He’s great, and you’ve probably seen him behind the desk. Next time you’re in, say “Hello.” [Printed Matter]

Chemists have figured out why a yellow pigment favored by Matisse turns to beige. “The research team found that the original chemical compound, cadmium sulphide, which is highly water-insoluble and bright yellow, is subject to a light-induced oxidation process that transforms it into a colorless, water-soluble cadmium sulphate.” [University of Delaware]

Google has released the code for DeepDream, which lets you make images for robots (kind of). Since then, a Reddit channel devoted to DeepDream has gained over 11,000 members, and, as noted by Michael Farley in yesterday’s links, people are now making all sorts of images for robots. Like porn. Your can learn how to feed your own images through DeepDream, here. [Motherboard]

On the difficulty of discerning the major auction houses’ policies on “third-party guarantors” and “third-party partners,” and how these relationships have dramatically changed how auction houses operate. [The Art Newspaper]

The price of bacon is about to go up. (No, this is not an art joke about Francis Bacon!) Pork consumption in the U.S. has been going down since 2009, with a slight rise in 2013. What does that mean for the bacon mongers in Williamsburg? Oh, the world! [Mother Jones]

Someone is using Beastie Boy Mike D’s uniquely-styled Cobble Hill townhouse as a set for Tumblr porn. [Gothamist]

Oh! Apparently the Tumblr couple are art lovers as well. Here’s a sort-of-SFW post with photos of their bums in the impressionist gallery at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. [ourpublicprivates]

There is a really strange modernist floating McDonalds abandoned off the coast of Vancouver. Someone please buy/steal this for us so we can have the coolest office/studio/party house in the history of art/maritime fast food. [She Budgets]

The Internet is abuzz with conspiracy theories surrounding the Bilderberg Conference, a secretive meeting of the world’s most rich and powerful in the Austrian countryside surrounded by armed guards. When I looked for a reputable news source to find out what this is really about, I found this uncharacteristically sensational BBC video… so I guess we really should be getting ready for the New World Order takeover. [BBC News]

Dasha Zhukova, founder of the Garage Museum of Contemporary Art in Moscow on the institution’s new Rem Koolhaas building and the Russian public’s softening skepticism about contemporary art. [Bloomberg]

Canadian PM Stephen Harper visited the Vatican. He and the pope talked about the environment and the abuses of Canada’s indigenous population in Catholic boarding schools. [CBC]

A German artist who goes by the name “1010” has painted a massive crater in the périphérique, the loathed beltway that separates Paris from its working class suburbs. [designboom]

Jimmy Van Bramer, one of New York City’s most active council members, is due to submit a bill that will allow for community feedback on public art commissions. Van Bramer envisions town-hall-style meetings early on in the design process—this is necessary. Re: Public outcry against the Jeff Koons statue in California and here, in Long Island City, Ohad Meromi’s pink-man sculpture. [New York Times]

In Bangladesh, a blogger was knifed to death on a busy street in Dhaka. According to local sources, he had been targeted before because of “anti-Islamic writing.” This incident marks the second writer-related killing in Bangladesh this month. [BBC News]

Either selfies are evil, or people are. Over the weekend, Instagram was filled with people smiling for selfies against the backdrop of the East Village fire. [New York Post]

In related news, both Coachella and Lollapalooza are banning selfie sticks this year. (Coachella reps calls them “narcissistics,” lol.) [Stereogum]

Best read of the week, and possibly the month: “The Rise of the Cryptopticon.” Siva Vaidhyanathan, a media studies and law professor at the University of Virginia, tracks the legal history of privacy and surveillance in the United States, from the 20th century to our digital age. [The Hedgehog Review via Alexis Madrigal]

Finally! Macaroni salad and plain Jello are cool again. Drop that kale and get yourself to a Denny’s because normcore food is a thing now. Supposedly. [The Awl]

Yep, art by famous artists = still really expensive. Roy Lichtenstein’s “The Ring (Engagement)” is expected to fetch around $50 million at auction at the Sotheby’s Contemporary Art Evening Sale on May 12. [Huffington Post]

You too can get laid like a Lannister. British sex toy company Bondera released their “Game of Bones” product line, a Game of Thrones-themed lineup of dildos and bondage gear for sci-fi/fantasy and cheesy innuendo lovers everywhere. God, their copywriters are so lucky. [Flavorwire via Mashable]

Chicago jack-of-all-art-trades Shannon Stratton named the new chief curator of the Museum of Arts and Design. You’re welcome, New York. [The Observer]

Speaking of rats, Conde Nast battles infestation; looses. Particularly titillating is the image of Anna Wintour refusing to enter the building for fear of rats, and their feces. [New York Magazine]

Speaking of animals, Pope Francis opened up the gates of heaven yesterday when told a little boy that his dog will go to heaven. [The New York Times]

Fuck it: after a lifetime of shitty photos, I’m finally going to follow clickbait’s advice on selfie guidelines. As it turns out, natural smiling has been a major pitfall. NO NATURAL SMILES. [Answers.com]

Timeout London lists best new art. Yeah that pretty much looks like Chelsea. [Timeout]

A much-needed trip down memory lane: ANIMAL New York reminds us of George W. Bush’s torture legacy by commissioning a series of paintings, in the style of Bush’s dog paintings which helped to whitewash his administration’s atrocities. Bush passively allowed the CIA to commit horrendous acts of torture. Remember? [ANIMAL New York]

Thieves broke into a commercial gallery near Museo del Prado and stole 50 paintings overnight. The loot is worth approximately €400,000. They did so by punching through the adjacent wall of a former bar. [artnet News]

The Brits know how to protest. Outraged by new restrictions on online porn content, which forbid “face-sitting” people have come out to sit on each others’ faces and sing the Monty Python song “Sit on My Face”. This is wonderful. [Guardian]

Canadian Heritage Minister Shelly Glover and Foreign Affairs Minister John Baird announced that Canada’s National Art Center will get $110 million for renovations. Glover praised Conservative Prime Minister Stephen Harper for his commitment to the arts, which is the biggest load of horseshit we’ve ever heard. This is the guy who complained government sponsored art events were all shrimp platters and limos. The reason the museum is getting money is because it’s been lumped into a larger program that provides renovations for defense buildings. Who ever it was who managed to arts organizations on that funding package needs to be thanked. [The Globe and Mail]

The damage from Sony Pictures hacked email just keeps going. The latest revaluation reveals Maureen Dowd showed her column to a Sony Exec prior to publishing. In many publications this is cause for firing – let’s hope that finally happens. Did Thomas Friedman and Mark Bittman send any incriminating emails too? Anything to force a little house cleaning on The Times abysmal op ed section. [Buzzfeed]

Benjamin Sutton writes a news story about a stolen Kinkade bronze bust of Jesus using the structure of “It Was The Night Before Christmas”. <3. [Hyperallergic]

Marina Galperina writes about what artists are doing with Oculus Rift, a virtual reality headset. [Baku]

In “I Read Bigfoot Erotica for Research,” writer Robin Hardwick goes where so few would want to go, or bother to go…to the topic of Sasquatch rape. [The Toast]

One, two times a book! Slate music critic Carl Wilson’s much-loved book on Celine Dion and kitsch has been given a second printing. This time around, it includes some new essays by the fellows over at n + 1, Owen Pallett, and for some reason, James Franco. [Bloomsbury]

David Joselit is complaining about Hans Ulrich Obrist’s scholarship. (It’s about time someone did.) Ulrich Obrist has organized an exhibition with art star Marina Abramović at London’s Serpentine Gallery exploring the subject of “nothing” but has not offered up a lineage of artists who have explored this topic. Specifically, Joselit thinks the work of Mary Ellen Carroll, a New York-based conceptual artist, should be credited, as she’s been working on the subject of “nothing” since the 90’s. [The Guardian]

Mark your calendars, there’s a new art fair around. Moving Image, currently held in London and New York, will be expanding to Istanbul this fall. According to fair co-founder Ed Winkleman, the Istanbul edition might mark the first of many roving fairs to come. [The Art Newspaper]

The 9/11 Museum removes a “never forget” cheese plate from their gift store after it was described as the tasteless item in the store. What makes this piece more distasteful than the twin tower Christmas ornaments or any other item in the store was never explained. What’s the big deal here people? The Holocaust Museum has a gift store too. I bet they sell cheese plates; most of these places do. [Gothamist]

Museum conservators are trying out a new way to conserve paintings: light. If a Rothko, for instance, is damaged, the conservators will shine a light (from a digital projector) on the dull spot so that it matches. [The Atlantic]

There goes experimentation on the Upper East Side (or, at least, it falls more to Higher Pictures and Venus Over Manhattan). Alex Zachary Peter Currie, the converted duplex gallery of Gavin Brown protegé Alex Zachary, reports that it’s “winding down operations over the next month and will not reopen.” They last told Gallerist that they were looking for a space in Harlem. [GalleristNY]

This explains a lot: The New York Times exposes Twitter’s underbelly of fake accounts dealings, helping us understand why people get 20,000 new followers overnight. They’re “now getting into the retweet business.” [The New York Times]

Estée Lauder deepens its relationship with the Met. In a move compared to the Rockefellers, and the Annenbergs, Leonard A. Lauder has promised the museum his billion-dollar Cubist collection, said to be one of the greatest in the world. Incredibly, Lauder tells the Times that when he began his collection forty years ago, “a lot was still available, because nobody really wanted it.” [NYTimes]

Target deepens its relationship with art. Target, already a major supporter or the Walker and MoMA’s “Target” Free Fridays, now sponsors MoMA’s educational programs. [MoMA]

My tits are so going to win Animal New York’s Very Short Film Festival. In honor of all those kids taking their tops off on Vine, the latest “it” app that allows users to easily shoot and share six second video clips, Animal New York is doing something special: offering a hundred bucks to anyone who can woo them.

Carol Vogel writes about the Met like it’s fallen into a doomsday scenario: “the fountains are leaking, the sidewalk is crumbling, and the trees are dying.” [The New York Times]

Junk Jet just released its newest issue about all things “net-heart!”. You can see most of the issue on Junk Jet‘s Flickr; and it includes essays and images by a “who’s who” list of net-aware writers, curators, and artists like Nicholas O’Brien, Artie Vierkant, Rafaël Rozendaal, and Bea Fremderman. Oh, and it includes an essay by our Editor-in-Chief, Will Brand. <3333s! [Junk Jet]

One of our Associate Editors, Whitney Kimball has an expert’s eye for painting. Here, she reviews Sarah McEneaney’s show at Tibor de Nagy. [New American Paintings]

Facebook won’t allow its users to post photos that show breast feeding. Moms are mad; protests have been happening outside of Facebook offices worldwide. [Tiny Nibbles]

You Tube’s full of hidden goodies. It’s not just funny puppies and cute kitties – or cute puppies and funny kitties; it has oodles of early computer animation to sift through. Not to be too hipster in my choice of subject matter, but Chromosaurus, a mesmerizing video of shiny dinosaurs, is a great place to start exploring the corners of early CGI. [YouTube]

Andrew Andrew, one of our nominees for the AFCRPAAaA*, give a feisty video review of the downtown theater scene, chock full of banter ranging from what ants eat for dinner to sticking a dick in a plant. [Paper]

Many thanks to another one of our AFCRPAAaA* awards nominees, Adam Lindemann, who just gave AFC a new tagline: “What you do is great, if somewhat misguided.” Yes, these are words of wisdom. [Twitter]