Trailer Mash 11-23-12

What better way to celebrate Thanksgiving than with a 3-D movie that uses the medium to artistic ends rather than as a bludgeon with which to bash you into a cinema seat. At least, that is the hope for (and if James Cameron is to be believed, the reality of) Ang Lee's adaptation of Life of Pi. It says something for the film that even a small 2-D snatch of action in the trailer immediately conjures the hyperreal state that envelopes readers of the very odd and remarkable book on which it is based.

What better way to celebrate Thanksgiving than to recall the Communist paranoia of the 1980s with the long-delayed release of the pointless remake of Red Dawn. The enemy may be Korean rather than Chinese, but we know what they mean, right? Would have been a great way to celebrate a Republican victory, though with hindsight that was as likely as a Korean land invasion of the U.S. Stupid trailer for an execrable movie.

What better way to celebrate Thanksgiving than with a by-the-numbers CGI fest featuring the voices of the few celebrities not already roped into one. This time we get Jack Frost teaming up with Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy to fight Jude Law. Strangely disaffecting quality to the movie's title, though. Within a few seconds of watching the trailer, it becomes impossible to remember what the title Rise of the Guardians refers to. Some Chinese Kung Fu flick set in the 12th century? A horror movie about orphans? A documentary about stalagmites?

What better way to celebrate Thanksgiving than to watch Marian Cotillard swimming after she's had her legs bitten off by a killer whale. Also featuring a French analog of male model Tom Hardy doing a lot of shirtless boxing, the trailer for Rust and Bone evidently does not consider itself adequately overwrought, hence a string and piano score that can only have been performed by musicians wearing the expressions of constipated gargoyles.

What better way to celebrate Thanksgiving than to relive the moment Alfred Hitchcock pretended to stab Janet Leigh to death in a shower. Mimicking Hitchcock in Hitchcock with transparent relish, Anthony Hopkins looks happier than he's been since he played Nixon in Nixon, Helen Mirren is a joyfully unconvincing frump as his wife Alma Reville, and Scarlett Johansson once again displays a cheering sense of humor about herself in the role of Janet Leigh/Marion Crane. More than enough good humor to make for a very enjoyable holiday afternoon, at least according to this trailer.

What better way to celebrate Thanksgiving than with a 3-D movie that uses the medium to artistic ends rather than as a bludgeon with which to bash you into a cinema seat. At least, that is the hope for (and if James Cameron is to be believed, the reality of) Ang Lee's adaptation of Life of Pi. It says something for the film that even a small 2-D snatch of action in the trailer immediately conjures the hyperreal state that envelopes readers of the very odd and remarkable book on which it is based.

What better way to celebrate Thanksgiving than to recall the Communist paranoia of the 1980s with the long-delayed release of the pointless remake of Red Dawn. The enemy may be Korean rather than Chinese, but we know what they mean, right? Would have been a great way to celebrate a Republican victory, though with hindsight that was as likely as a Korean land invasion of the U.S. Stupid trailer for an execrable movie.

What better way to celebrate Thanksgiving than with a by-the-numbers CGI fest featuring the voices of the few celebrities not already roped into one. This time we get Jack Frost teaming up with Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy to fight Jude Law. Strangely disaffecting quality to the movie's title, though. Within a few seconds of watching the trailer, it becomes impossible to remember what the title Rise of the Guardians refers to. Some Chinese Kung Fu flick set in the 12th century? A horror movie about orphans? A documentary about stalagmites?

What better way to celebrate Thanksgiving than to watch Marian Cotillard swimming after she's had her legs bitten off by a killer whale. Also featuring a French analog of male model Tom Hardy doing a lot of shirtless boxing, the trailer for Rust and Bone evidently does not consider itself adequately overwrought, hence a string and piano score that can only have been performed by musicians wearing the expressions of constipated gargoyles.

What better way to celebrate Thanksgiving than to relive the moment Alfred Hitchcock pretended to stab Janet Leigh to death in a shower. Mimicking Hitchcock in Hitchcock with transparent relish, Anthony Hopkins looks happier than he's been since he played Nixon in Nixon, Helen Mirren is a joyfully unconvincing frump as his wife Alma Reville, and Scarlett Johansson once again displays a cheering sense of humor about herself in the role of Janet Leigh/Marion Crane. More than enough good humor to make for a very enjoyable holiday afternoon, at least according to this trailer.