Monday, September 17, 2012

My Plan for the Zombie Apocalypse

There's been lots of talk lately about the zombie apocalypse. Obviously it's a fear we all take seriously. Stores and websites have popped up with survival kits and advice. Even the CDC has joined the fight with a novella promoting preparedness.

In case you didn't know, zombies are mindless corpses who have been reanimated. Their sole purpose is to eat humans and they will do whatever they can to accomplish this goal. They have no sensations or fear, so you can cut off an arm or leg and they will continue to pursue you. The only way to kill a zombie is to cut off its head. This is serious, people!

The fine folks at Deadliest Warrior did all the research I needed to make an informed decision regarding my plan for the zombie apocalypse. They pitted vampires against zombies, testing everything from biting power to motivation. Through a variety of ratios and comparisons, they created a level playing field and ran a bazillion fight simulations. You can watch this enlightening episode here.

**spoiler alert**

Although the odds seemed unfair at the time (approximately 65 zombies per vampire), the speed, strength and slashing power of the vampires won out. In the end, one vampire remained.

Since vampires were victorious, it is clear to me that I need to find a vampire to turn me at the beginning of the apocalypse (after all, I don't want to be a vampire until I have to). Once the apocalypse starts, I'll slash my way to victory over the zombies.