I'd say the worst part is where a third of the staff was fired, or in one case, quit, and after that having my job title be amongst those advertised, with a team meeting of reassurance but not too much communication after that, that would probably be the worst part.

90% of me says: if they weren't all happy with what I'm doing for them, I should have been out as well; I think they're happy with what I do, and it makes sense to have two of what I am in this office, and they're not going to find another me anyway.

10% of me says: don't feel comfortable? ~##~*fiztz* panic ~# abort^~#

...because i feel like a beat dog; because i'm facing daily anxiety again after being off the meds for 4 years; and to go from the narcissist to public workstation #1 is still a very jarring feeling.

the job market for people like me is very cyclical and right now it is in the up cycle. in theory, i have nothing to worry about. although i have thought that before and been wrong. hence the worry

Well, you're not alone. I worry at times, and I've been here 12 years. Insecurity is a good motivator.
It's good that you have a marketable skill. There's job security and there's industry security. If I ever got launched, I figure I could have a job lined up in hours. Every day you work there adds to your resume. Don't panic. Maybe you'll be the boss of the new guy and get a raise.

If you're doing the best you can, and they're not happy, there's nothing you can do about it because you did the best you could. If you're not sure you're doing what they want, you can asked your boss, even if it's in a round about way, if he's happy with the direction you're going.

Well, august 9th will be 12. I think I'm 5th in seniority in the front end. I figured I'd be here 2 or 3 years. It's a rare gig, though, and it has been the only constant through some tumultuous times. I appreciate my fortune in having this job, but if it ever should end, I know I'll get by. I'd like to progress to higher levels, but I'd have to do that by leaving here. There are only 2 jobs above mine, and neither of the current positions are in any danger of being vacated. I would most likely also take a pay cut. I guess I'm stuck here happily for now. After June of 2018, things will change for me financially. I may be willing to take that pay cut at that point.

My first office mate is a fail. New hire coming soon. I really have trouble being balanced socially at work, I'd rather do my job and get out. Sharing an office is just weird for me. Oh well I guess I'll go heavy on the ear buds. No way could I do that open office thing... Maybe a big red flag for when you can't be pestered.

__________________
If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you.
- Louis D. Brandeis

Well they have been creeping up for the last two months. Little things happen, like waking up with my heart racing... driving down the road and suddenly having just terrible ridiculous thoughts about whether they love me or hate me at work... wondering whether another ruin is just around the corner...

It's work, except for the percent that is my own panicky brain trying to undermine me. Like, when I told them I wasn't coming back in today, I felt way better in five minutes.

I'm putting all the blame on the open floor plan, because that is a huge part of it. It's not just the plan. It's that I sit with my back to my boss's office. Like, my monitors are the first thing he sees when he walks out his office door.

We've got a diabetic on our staff. He takes multiple insulin shots each day. Needs to do them at different parts of his body to move the needle wound around, so sometimes he will pull his pants down and do it in his thigh.

Anyway, he has bad habits with his health. He smokes, and sometimes doesn't do the shots, or doesn't manage his food properly. We've had to call 911 a couple times over the years for him.

He's being put into a shared open office space in a couple of months when his floor is renovated. There's a sick/nursing room that he can use to do his shots, but it will be on a different floor.

This guy already has bad habits. Is it such a good idea to be placing additional burdens in the way of him being able to do the shots? What if a mom is nursing on her lunch break when he needs to get an insulin shot so he can have some lunch? The answer: he won't get the shot then. Maybe he'll do it later, or maybe he'll forget.

The big boss doesn't care. Sick room is provided.

It's amazing the culture that is taking over in the economy. The middle class is dying off.