The Next Step5/29/2011 4:30:01 AMMAGIC MAN'S MUSINGSI have been at this process of inner transformation for a long time -- ever since my breakdown in 1971, and my first contact with the universe. I have read almost all the books on trans-personal psychology, magic, enlightenment and self help. While they all offered excellent insights I have found that not every shoe fits all feet.

In the beginning, we all seek advice and inspiration from people we think know, we read books, listen to tapes and such. We may join churches or groups that seek to explore what we are searching for. Sooner or later the politics, personal differences and boredom set in and we are off again on another search. If we are lucky we may meet some genuine enlightened beings on our way and they can be helpful to us on our way, but they too will fail to live up to our expectations in some way and we do leave them in time.

Finally we are left to our own devices and this is what we have been told all along, but feared to accept, because we don't trust ourselves or life at this point. We do not understand the connection between mind, experiences and reality. Because we are cut off from reality by our minds we struggle in the dark and fall over all the furniture. Over time and many trials we may begin to look closely at ourselves and realize that we are the only ones that can solve our problems. The priests, psychologists and self-help guru's can talk about our feelings, help us to accept them, but only we can transform them. That transformation can only occur when we accept full responsibility for our thoughts, feelings and actions. This is the first step to reclaim back your identity and empower you to see how reality and you co-exist.

The encounter with reality is very subtle at first. You may hear and see things, audio and video whispers. Sometimes you may feel you are going crazy, but unless their is a real psychological or medical problem you settle down and learn to observe. Nothing by chance happens in life and unless we fail to learn from our experiences and some do, you will begin to realize that you are going somewhere. There is a reason your world is so crazy and you are not like others. This can be very lonely, but you also discover that others are having similar experiences. The logical world of expectations is giving way to the chaotic world of our individual realities. Further we are asked to question, explore and delve into ourselves.

Little by little the mind loses its grip on us and we reach a place where we listen to our feelings and awareness. At first it is challenging because our mind says it can't be real. We ask, did I really hear that? Did I see that? Why did I have that dream? All of it is so contrary to what we have been doing for years. In our desire to understand these happenings we misread them or fail to clearly understand their meaning and intent. Still we cant ignore them because the old reasoning and thinking does not hold true anymore for us. We are in a new land, a magical, liberating, mysterious and confusing land at first. We have to unlearn and feel. Learn to not trust our mind and judgement and experiment with our new awareness and realizations. To be aware does not mean you stop learning, growing or stumbling along.

The next step for me is to discover in my awareness those gifts, talents and abilities that serve to bond me to a vibrant and living universe and to share these realizations with those who wonder whats next. Evolution does not mean to acquire more refined knowledge and experiences that say we have arrived. It is an awakening to ourselves, a clarification of our identities, a realization that we do know more then we thought and believed. that we are capable of leaving our limited minds and experiencing dimensions within ourselves that answer the aged old question of WHO AM I?