eat, move, think, feel

I feel like I’m in the midst of a major test right now. Stress raining down like bowling balls, and the test is: will I turn to food? Will I be able to wriggle out of this one without gaining significant amounts of weight? I feel like I’m in the SATs, the MCATs and the LSATs all rolled into one. Please cross your fingers for me that I am Prepared enough to get through this.

Thank you.

Edited to add:

Well, if it was a pass-fail test, I think I passed. If it was a letter grade, I’d give myself a B-. Maybe a C+. I managed to get through the hardest day because I was being super-mindful in the midst of my stress. I kept telling myself, “Food won’t fix it.” I kept reminding myself how much WORSE I would feel if I ended up binging out on some food, and that it would, in fact, ADD to my stress.

The problem with such reasoning, of course, is that often in the midst of an emotional crisis, one just plain doesn’t care. (I was there a ways back, for a little bit) Who cares if I gain weight? Who cares if I feel worse later? I WANT THIS NOW. Sigh.

Anyway, I did manage to get through the worst of it pretty well. It felt good then to exercise the next day (yesterday). I thought I had gotten through it. But then what? I let my guard down. I thought it was “over.” Then, another sneaky, different stress came and attacked me. I was Unprepared. I slipped into I Don’t Care mode. I was just tired.

I was emotionally in a bad place. I had about 15 minutes to get something to eat before teaching (not WW) class. I went to Quiznos. I just got whatever I wanted, without regard to anything. Just looked it up. 1030 calorie sandwich. NICE. Then I had a couple of madeleine cookies from Starbucks.

So it wasn’t, like, a complete and total disaster. In fact, this is something I would have considered reasonably “healthy” a year ago. But it is not the choice I’d make if I was on target.

I think the mistake I made was thinking I’d somehow “made it through.” I got distracted by the fact that I’d had a good workout. But I wasn’t “out of the woods” yet. I was still feeling kinda funky, then I was sideswiped by something I wasn’t totally expecting.

The moral of this story: stay awake.

What else could I have done last night? I don’t know. I could’ve talked myself down somehow, probably. I could’ve gone to CPK and gotten that asparagus soup.

I also am going thru “stress” but I have been woofing down food for the past 3 days. Like totally not caring. Its a comfort to see how you handled it. YOU are right re feeling worse afterwards because now I feel worse, have to lose about 6 pounds I have gained and I know better. What kind of an example am I for my members. Not sure if I feel even more guilt because Im a WW leader that I still have not mastered emotional eating. Im really hard on myself. I have to remind myself I have lost 129 pounds –your up by 6-7 pounds–big deal! Get it off now. Thanks for a great post

THANKS everyone for the support. I appreciate it, from the bottom of my heart.

Natalee, I do think that emotional eating is THE hardest thing to “master” and I don’t even know if that’s completely possible. I do keep my members in the front and center of my mind as much as I can. I want to be honest with them and it helps me a lot to think of them, and think, would I be willing to stand up there and report this?

How long have you been leading? Try to think of your own “inner member” and be as kind and supportive to yourself as you would with any of your members. You can do it.

Great reply. Thanks for your support. Sometimes its hard to talk with local leaders about struggling with weight. I even find it hard to get to a meeting and share my struggles as I either know some members in the room or I dont feel like its a group I feel comfy with. Not sure why that is in my territory. So..I keep in touch with great leaders from New Jersey that i went to leader training with and they help. I also will reach out online to fabulous folks who have maintained. So I have gotten great support online.

well… I have been a leader 3 years this June. Hard to believe. I will never forget my first meeting gosh was i so NERVOUS! I even had my husband come and sit in the back. what a guy! ha.

Looking back I can’t believe how nervous I was. I think it took about 9 months for me to feel my leader stride and be full of confidence. Now I LOVE it! I loved my BLS training and every training since. I even loved leader training. Do you like being a leader? Only thing is …I wished they paid us more as I think Leaders drive the business. But maybe there are too many of us? I dont get it. It really is Peanuts.

I can tell your a good leader based upon your advice to me. I love your blog to and have been lurking but your post just moved me and I had to confess my stress/eating/week.