Get Coached Today!

All of us go through events in our social life where we fear being negatively
judged by others. Perhaps you have made your own judgments throughout your life
about certain people and what you think of them.

Making
judgments about others is something the human brain likes to do. From an
evolutionary standpoint, we had to judge others as “friends” or “foes” to
protect ourselves from people who might be a threat to our tribe or community.

Those
who were disliked or viewed as a threat were eventually ostracized, punished,
or killed. So most of us have a hard-wired response to try and be liked and
accepted by others, which explains many fears and anxieties associated with our
social interactions.

Despite
this tendency, we can find ways to get over the judgments people will make
about us on a daily basis. We learn to become less sensitive to them and not
let them so easily get under our skin or make us upset. This article will cover
these different aspects of how to let go of people always judging us.

Accept that everyone has an opinion

The
first step is recognizing that everyone is going to have an opinion about you,
for better or worse.

We
often think of “judging” as a negative thing, but when someone tells you they
like you, or that you’re smart, or a cool person, that’s a type of judging too
– it just happens to be a very positive one.

Throughout
your life you’re going to meet many different people, and some of those people
you’re going to “click” with better than others. You can’t expect to win over
everyone, so be willing to accept that some people won’t like you, and some
people will.

Anyone
who puts themselves out there and let’s their true personality shine through is
going to have their fair share of critics. Once you begin to expect it, it
doesn’t become as shocking or bothersome when someone says something insulting
or cruel.

Become less judging of others

Usually
people who fear judgments the most are the ones that are very judgmental
themselves.

If
we have an excessively judgmental attitude against people, and we’re always
trying to compare individuals as “superior” or “inferior,” then we project that
attitude onto others, believing that they too are always judging us as
“superior” or “inferior.”

Try
to be kinder and more understanding toward others, and you won’t have such a
hostile and cynical view of the world. You can find the good in anyone if
you’re willing to see it – and once you cultivate this attitude, you’ll be more
likely to expect others to reciprocate this attitude toward you.

We
are all susceptible to what is known as fundamental attribution error.
This is when we overestimate the influence of personal factors when someone does
something “stupid” or “bad,” and we underestimate the influence of situational
factors.

Remember,
everyone is capable of making bad decisions in the wrong situation, and even
you yourself aren’t always perfect. This will allow you to be gentler in your
judgments toward both yourself and others.

Move past bad first impressions

First
impressions can have a strong influence over how people view us, but they
aren’t set in stone.

If
you did something wrong the first time you met someone (insulted, mocked, or
offended them), then it may be appropriate to apologize before you can move on.
However, most of the time we can move past these first impressions simply by
making better second, third, and fourth impressions.

The
more time someone spends with you the more they get to know the real you. No
one can tell everything about you when they first meet you, it takes multiple
interactions to really learn about someone.

As
people get to know you more, their first impression of you will become less
important. I have friends today who I didn’t always get off with on the right
foot, but now we look back on those experiences and just laugh. You just have
to be willing to take a longer view in your relationships.

Avoid people who are too negative (if you can)

We
all have our limits and some people can be unbearably negative and tiresome to
be around.

If
you have a choice, sometimes the only thing you can do is to avoid the person
more. If you know they’re going to be at a party, then don’t go there. If you
work with them, try to limit interactions to just work-related talk. And if
it’s a negative friend, you may want to consider finding new people to hang out
with.

It’s
not the most pleasant solution, but it may be necessary if you can’t find
anyway to tolerate a person’s negative and overly judgmental attitude.

Achieve
Your Full Potential! Book a complimentary session at http://www.denisedema.com to get the
support you need to excel in your professional and personal life.

As a Business and Life Management Coach for over two
decades, my national coaching practice specializes in the development of human
potential and personal effectiveness for professionals and individuals. More
now than ever, organizations are focusing on their future leaders Emotional Intelligence
abilities. Executives, business owners and entrepreneurs all need to develop
their EQ beyond their IQ in order to be successful, increase productivity
and/or gain promotion within their chosen fields.

Emotional intelligence (EQ), as it is known today, came into
the spotlight when Daniel Goleman published his book “Emotional Intelligence,
Why It Can Matter More Than IQ” in 1995; however, the study of different forms
of intelligence began long before that book, with some research papers dating
back to the early 1900's. Since that time, many researchers, training and development
professionals use tools to implement EQ concepts and to build individual EQ.

Emotional intelligence is the ability to sense, understand
and effectively apply emotions to facilitate higher levels of collaboration and
productivity.

Intrapersonal Skills
refer to the ability to understand oneself, form an accurate concept of the
self and apply that concept to operate more effectively. There are three
pillars that make up the intrapersonal side of EQ:

Self-Awareness is the ability to recognize
and understand your own moods, emotions and drives as well as their effects on
others.

Self-Regulation is the ability to control
or redirect disruptive impulses and moods. This includes the propensity to
suspend judgment and to think before acting.

Motivation is a passion to work for
reasons that go beyond money or status and to pursue your goals with energy and
persistence.

Interpersonal Skills
refer to the ability to identify and understand how to effectively relate to,
work with and motivate others. There are two pillars that make up the
interpersonal side of EQ:

Empathy is the ability to understand the
emotional makeup of other people and the skill to treat people according to
their emotional reactions.

Social Skills is the proficiency in
managing relationships, building networks and the ability to find common ground
to build rapport.

Emotions are carried down an organization’s hierarchy,
basically affecting everyone. If you want to positively affect or even change
an organization’s culture, it’s vital to start developing the EQ of its
leaders. Enable them to be more self-aware and empower them to manage the
emotions of others.

Working with individuals that are primarily business-focused,
I offer coaching and consulting designed for leaders, managers and executives
striving for promotion. Mentoring is geared towards people who set the tone for
interpersonal interaction within the organization or within a team. Training
develops communication effectiveness, conflict resolution, sales effectiveness
and relationships to name a few topics. It is often paired with Behavioral
Modification techniques that add the behavioral component to emotional
intelligence development.

To learn more about how you can improve your professional
career and skills through developing your EQ, book a complimentary session at www.denisedema.com.

Many people are grappling with this year’s depressing
and disturbing news—meaning, they want to turn away, but they just can‘t.

The constant focus on partisan politics—as well as
murders and mayhem—is taking a real toll on peoples’ psyches.

The surgeon Dr. Christiane Northrop says our nervous
systems simply weren’t designed to handle a daily barrage of bad news which
contains the worst of humanity, brought to you from every corner of the globe.
The inundation is too much for most people.

The trend toward sensational bad news on television
began in the 1990s. At the same time as the U.S. homicide rate was dropping in
that decade by 42%, television news coverage of murders skyrocketed—rising more
than 700%, according to the Center for Media and Public Affairs.

During that time, TV network news audiences and
newspaper circulation began to fall. We can only guess that this was due to the
increased focus on crime coverage.

Instead of gorging on an endless media diet of
conflict, some people have taken drastic action, by closing their eyes and
turning off the news altogether. (They are also unfriending their angry
brother-in-law or friend whose partisan posts contaminate their Facebook feed.)

Completely tuning out the news, however, is not a great
solution. To be an informed citizen and voter, we need to know what’s going on.
Instead, I recommend that people become “selective sifters”, choosing what kind
of news they take in daily. Headline news from the BBC or NPR, or perusing
newspapers and magazines is enough to provide the basics.

Most people will need to make a conscious effort not to
get sucked into the rancorous trivial debates of the day, like how much Melania
Trump’s jacket costs when she travels into a poor neighborhood—and the
inference that it should make anyone angry if they are a Liberal.

It’s not enough, though, to just sift through the bad
news.Norman Cousins, a political journalist and 30-year
editor of the Saturday Review said, “If news is not really news unless it is
bad news, it may be difficult to claim we are an informed nation.”

There is another crucial step that people can take to
relieve some of their anxiety around current events. They can write themselves
a prescription for a daily dose of good news. Like a “Vitamin G” in their media
diet it can provide some balanced nutrition beyond the negative news menu.

A
Happy You prescription - book cover

I look at it this way: If a child is only given junk
food, then that’s all he knows and wants, but if he is given some sweet
carrots, watermelon or apples, he learns to appreciate them, and gets the
benefit of an enriched diet and healthier body.

Thomas Jefferson said the job of journalists was to
portray accurately what was happening in society. As a former TV news
freelancer, I created Good News Network (GNN) because the media was failing to
report enough of the positive—and it was simply too hard to find good news in
large enough quantities to make a difference in one’s mental health.

An overabundance of pessimistic, depressing stories can
create a perception of a crime-and-greed-filled-world that is out of proportion
with reality.

Benefits
to Physical Health

According to letters from GNN readers, the website is
playing a major role in relieving depression and anxiety symptoms—and basic
physical health, too, can be altered when you make an effort to balance the
depressing news. Scientific studies have shown the startling benefits.

In a study of nearly 3000 healthy adults, a London
University found that those who reported upbeat moods had lower levels of
cortisol—the ‘stress’ hormone that leads to high blood pressure, weakened
immune systems, and even abdominal obesity. In the study, women who reported
more positive emotions were less prone to chronic inflammation, which is
related to heart disease and cancer. The authors of the paper published in the
American Journal of Epidemiology in 2008 said, “People need to recognize the
things that make them feel good.”

Researchers at the Harvard University School of Public
Health found that optimism cuts the chances of developing heart disease and the
rate of lung-decline as we age. They followed 1300 men in their early 60’s for
ten years. “Lung function declined significantly faster in pessimists, even
taking into account major biological risk factors.”

A Dutch study of elderly men found that those who were
identified as “optimistic” were associated with a stunning 50 percent lower
risk of cardiovascular death during the 15-year study.

Benefits
of Mental Well-Being

A study by J. P. Harrell in 2000 found that when
participants watched concentrations of positive news and media, they had
decreased levels of stress and anxiety. A study by Huffington Post and Harvard
Researcher Shawn Achor showed that if people watched even 3-4 minutes of
negative news, 27% of participants were more likely to be depressed for the
next 6-8 hours of their day.

Testimonials sent to Good News Network provide
self-reported anecdotal evidence that supports the notion that positive news
can actually improve your health.

15 year old Lisa says, “Daily, I was affected by panic
attacks which were triggered from the news and all its negative content. This
site has helped me tremendously.”

Mike says, “I suffer from depression and paranoia. I
feel like I can never truly be happy as I always get this sense of encroaching
doom and most of my fears are heightened by media sensationalism. Your website
is JUST what I need to focus.”

And finally a clinical and police psychologist, Dr.
Kevin Keough, wrote this, “A 13 year-old boy was depressed and suicidal as he
entered my office. He cited TV news as proof that there was no point to living,
‘Everything is out of control, it’s all bad news, people are killing each
other, terrorism, corruption, kids being slaves.’ After I let him cry, I
explained how TV news worked—that it didn’t reflect reality accurately—and I
showed him your site. He started to cheer up. He smiled and gave me a hug. Life
was okay again.”

Tal Ben-Shahar was a lecturer at Harvard University and
his positive psychology course was the most popular class on campus. Author of
‘Happier’, and ‘Choose the Life You Want’, he believes the Good News Network
can benefit everyone: “It’s an extremely important initiative. I recommend that
each person makes it a habit to visit the website at least once a day to
counter the barrage of negativity in the media. Being exposed to positive
information benefits us emotionally, physically, and mentally. It can
contribute in a meaningful way to a happier and healthier life.”

A 2005 study by Bayer concluded that an overwhelming
93% of Americans wanted more good news, and 77% percent believed there was not
enough good news offered by mainstream media. The study also showed that people
believed they are more productive in their jobs after hearing good news.

Fortunately, good news is now easy to find at GoodNews
Network.

What
we think in our minds directly affects our health. Through the mind-body
connection, our thinking leads to stress or happiness. It is your choice—and
your health depends on it.

Expand
your knowledge and enlighten your mind with tools to help you excel in life.
Complimentary Coaching Session at: http://www.denisedema.com/

Want
to be successful in life? Know this: It takes a special kind of
fortitude and it’s what separates the elite from average performers.
When the going gets tough, the tough don’t get going—they reach for a
winning prescription called mental toughness.
What’s mental toughness all about? It’s been described as the “ability
to work hard and respond resiliently to failure and adversity; the inner
quality that enables individuals to work hard and stick to their
long-term passions and goals."

Vince
Lombardi believed that mental toughness was one of the most important
leadership skills you could attain. Psychologist Angela Duckworth based
her life's work on it (she refers to it as grit) and believes that it’s a
true predictor of success.

The “4 C’s to Mental Toughness”

Psychologist Dr. Peter
Clough developed the “Mental Toughness Training Model,” a psychometric
assessment measure, which enables users to assess mental toughness in
four core areas:ConfidenceChallengeControlCommitmentHere’s how you can use the components to your advantage and become more mentally tough:

1. Confidence

Do you believe in yourself and your
abilities? Can you effectively navigate conflict and challenges? Do you
have well-developed social skills?People who are
self-confident believe that they can achieve success, despite any
obstacles they encounter. They work hard to develop themselves in
competitive environments. They are proactive, decisive and courageous in
spite of fear. Take Shark Tank’s Barbara Corcoran for example.
She had a terrible fear of public speaking, but she knew that she had to
embrace it, rather than run from it, if she wanted to become
successful. Her strategy? She thrust herself into every possible
speaking opportunity she could find and worked at it like crazy. Today,
she’s in demand on stages all around the globe. Regarding
self-confidence she says, “Don’t be afraid. Stand up and shout loud and
clear enough for everyone to hear: “No, I am NOT stupid.”

2. Challenge

Do you thrive in environments that constantly change or present new opportunities for learning and growth?People
who embrace challenges tend to have an extraordinary ability to think
and work outside the box. They enjoy exercising creativity, exploring
innovation, and accepting some degree of risk. Why? They are keenly
focused on achieving positive outcomes. Spiritual teacher and The Power of Now
author Eckhart Tolle, teaches that challenges, difficulties and
uncertainty, all concepts that point to change—and upset the status
quo—are natural parts of life that should be embraced. He notes that, “Change is absolutely necessary and offers a new way of being in this world.”

3. Control

Do you feel that you have control over your
life and the power to shape your destiny? How do you deal with the ebb
and flow of life’s ups and downs?People with a strong
sense of control over their lives tend to be more relaxed and
self-confident. They are more connected to their emotions,
self-regulating and motivated to achieve results. They believe that
they’ve got the power to influence their outcomes, and lo and behold
they do. Peak performance expert Tony Robbins developed a five-step process
aimed at helping others develop more control and achieve greater
results. It’s totally worth taking a closer look, especially as part of
developing an overall mental toughness strategy.

4. Commitment

Are you committed to achieving your outcomes? Do you set goals and work consistently to achieve them, even when you experience setbacks?This
is also known as “stickability.” Misty Copeland showed the world she
was committed to becoming a prima ballerina, even in the face of
unmistakable adversity. Her advice? Stick with it and persevere. It may
seem counter intuitive, but “the path to your success is not as fixed
and inflexible as you might think,” she says.Feeling less than mentally tough? What’s
true for sure is that we all need it to succeed, no matter our
background or what industry we’re in. It’s the secret sauce for
performing at the top of your game, especially during tough times. And
just like a lot of other important leadership traits, mental toughness
is not something you’re born with. It’s developed over time it by
focusing on the key components, little by little. Work with a Business and Life Mangagement Coach to start using the 4 C’s and you will be well on your way to achieving mental toughness—and greater success. Book a complimentary session at www.denisedema.com

Change the game by changing the way you think.

What’s the biggest difference between those who succeed and those who don’t? Mindset.
It’s a small thing that makes a big difference and is the primary
catalyst driving your feelings of self-worth, competence and confidence.

Make no mistake, the most successful people have it.
And if you intend to ascend to those coveted ranks, you’re going to
need it, too. Are you willing to do the work and elevate your mindset to
achieve uncommon success?

Consider the following elements to help you develop a successful mindset:

1.Self-Talk

Ever think the only conversations that matter are the ones you have
with someone else? Not quite. The conversations you have with yourself
are the most important ones you will ever have. To be clear, we talk to
ourselves all day, every day. Eventually, all that robust data adds up
to create our individual self-concepts. Be careful what you say to yourself. Plant seeds of positivity and inspiration, rather than criticism and doubt.

2. Intentions

Your intentions set the tone for how skillfully you navigate personal
and professional success. Have you set yours high enough to challenge
the status quo? If not, think bigger and push past your comfort zone.
Get comfortable being uncomfortable, because that’s where the real
growth happens. Setting your sights high and believing in the most
remarkable outcomes you can attain changes the way you show up in the
world. Believe me, no one has ever regretted embracing the power to
think big.

3. Grit

When it comes to success, world-renowned psychologist Angela Duckworth says, “Talent counts, but effort counts twice.” Got grit? If not, know this: Both passion and perseverance
are vital to your long-term success. Experiencing initial excitement
when deciding to pursue a New Year’s resolution is quite common. Less
common and far more difficult is the sustained focus and
drive—throughout long periods of time—needed to achieve it. Grit helps
us push past the desire to give up, especially when things get rough.
Fortunately, it can be learned and continually developed over time.

4. Strategy

Declaring a goal, without more, will do little to ensure its success.
Only substance and structure will successfully ignite and move it
forward. Begin by chunking
your goal into smaller segments to organize it, making it more
manageable. Then create a strategic plan with scheduled activities and
outcomes that will help to assure its success. Notice what works and be
proactive about tweaking key elements where necessary. Be open to feedback and embrace innovation along the way.

5. Execution

Creating a strategy is one thing, but executing it is another. Decide
in advance that taking strong action will be the litmus test for your
success. Sure, there will be days when you won’t feel like working or
perhaps even be discouraged. No matter. Your goal is to take bite-sized
pieces of the apple until it is finally consumed. Whether making a phone
call, sending an email or physically maneuvering to achieve the next
steps, dig deep and take action.
Execution helps you build trust in yourself, as well as reflects
successful past performance, bringing you one step closer to your
desired outcome.

Are you ready to stack the odds in your favor by mastering a successful mindset? Book a complimentary sessionwith a Business and Life Management Coach at www.denisedema.com and achieve your full potential Today! Source: Success