[Time Lapse. Bender comes to the end of the street and sees a white, windowless building ahead of him. He gasps.]

Bender: A blank wall! Fame is mine!

[He runs towards the building, takes his head off and shakes it like a spray-paint can. His legs extend upwards towards the top of the building and he chuckles as he starts to spray something onto the wall.]

[Time Lapse. The next morning, Bender stands back and admires his work. He has sprayed a huge picture of himself onto the wall, along with "Bender Lives Large And Kicks Butt!"]

Bender: There. Now no one will forget how I lived or my attitude regarding butt.

[The building collapses and Bender's picture folds inwards à la Mad magazine fold-ins. The picture of him has turned into a giant butt and the writing reads "Bender Licks Butt". The demolition crew laugh.]

[Bender throws his glass at him. It breaks on his head and Zoidberg cries out in pain. Bender sits up.]

Bender: Come on! Surely there must be someone here who knows how great I was.

[Fry stands up.]

Fry: Yes there is, Bender. Bender was a lot of things to a lot of people. But, looking back, the number one thing I can say about him is this, and simply this: Bender was my friend.

[Bender pauses.]

Bender: What? That's it? Who are you? You're nobody! This is the worst funeral ever! [He pushes his legs through the bottom of the coffin and stands up.] I hope you're all happy. You've succeeded in convincing me life is worth living, by showing how bad my funeral will suck.

[He throws some flowers off the coffin and walks out. The flowers land on Farnsworth's lap.]

[He points to a massive block right next to him that is bigger than the ship.]

Fry: I thought something looked different in here.

[Bender throws down his magazine, mutters to himself and walks onto the ship.]

[Scene: The ship flies towards Osiris 4 with the sandstone block tied to the top of it.]

[Cut to: Osiris 4 surface. It lands in a desert on the planet.]

[Time Lapse. Leela pulls the ropes away from the block. Fry talks to an Osiran and two ancient Egyptian dog-like creatures. The man wears something similar to ancient Egyptian jewellery and his hair looks like it is made of solid gold.]

Fry: Hi. We have a giant stone to deliver. Sign here.

[He hands the man a clipboard and he signs the invoice with an ancient Egyptian hieroglyph.]

Osiran: Ah, very nice. Much like the 10 million identical stones used in the future tomb of our great Pharaoh Hermenthotip.

[He points to a sandstone building which is under construction.]

Leela: Impressive. Who's building it?

Osiran: You.

Leela: Say again?

Osiran: You are now slaves of the great Pharaoh Hermenthotip. Guards.

[The guards shackle the crew to a pole and carry them away.]

Fry: Call it a hunch but I've got a bad feeling about this.

[Scene: Slave Boat. The slaves row a boat down a river past other slaves. The slaves are shackled to benches.]

Fry: You know the worst thing about being a slave? They make you work but they don't pay you or let you go.

Leela: That's the only thing about being a slave!

Osiran: Attention. You are now possessions of the great Pharaoh Hermenthotip, heir to the Tenth Dynasty, bringer of the good aspects of the annual floods.

Fry: Incredible. This place is just like the Ancient Egypt of my day.

Osiran: That is no coincidence. For our people visited your Egypt thousands of years ago.

Fry: I knew it! Insane theories, one; regular theories, a billion.

Osiran: We learned many things from the mighty Egyptians, such as pyramid-building, space travel and how to prepare our dead so as to scare Abbott and Costello.

[Fry laughs.]

Fry: Also Wolfman!

[Bender whistles, impressed.]

Bender: Look at these swanky tombs! These people really know how to die.

Leela: Are you crazy? They worked thousands of people to death to make these stupid monuments.

Bender: Hey, you spend your whole life building a guy's toe and you're gonna remember him. [He looks across at a slave being whipped as he carves a stone toe.] I think I'm gonna like it here!

[Scene: Market. Fry, Leela and Bender walk through the market with the Osiran behind them. A man makes an enquiry at a "Lose Weight Now - Ask Me How" booth.]

[Time Lapse. Fry pushes a block up the side of the tomb and Leela pulls one up using a rope and a pulley. The Osiran stands on top of the block and whips her as she pulls.]

[Time Lapse. Back at the bottom of the tomb, they pull another block.]

Bender: Come on, guys. Pharaoh's countin' on us. Work faster, like this. [He pushes a block up the side of the tomb and the Osiran runs after him, whipping as he goes. He stops to catch his breath.] You call that motivating me? Don't just whip with your arms. The power comes from your hips. Like this.

[He takes the whip and whips himself. The rest of the slaves arrive with the block.]

Leela: Bender, quit giving the slave drivers pointers!

Fry: Yeah. Remember who your real friends are.

Bender: I'll tell you who I remember. [He points at some tombs.] Anopsis ... Pleotut ... Whatshisname. He was the greatest of all.

[He salutes the tomb. Some horns blow.]

Osiran: Pharaoh Hermenthotip approaches.

[The slaves bow. The horn blowers are whipped and they blow again. Hermenthotip's boat is carried from the water by slaves who were below the water line. They gasp for air.]

[The slaves haul the nose onto the tomb. Hermenthotip walks off the boat and the slaves bow. He walks past them and looks at the tomb.]

Hermenthotip: Excellent work! I am very proud of all you slaves.

[Bender stands up and cheers.]

Bender: Viva Hermenthotip!

Hermenthotip: And now, I have a grand announcement. In honour of your achievement, you're all hereby--

[The nose falls off the tomb and crushes him. The slaves gasp.]

Bender: [screaming] No!

[He runs forward and lifts the nose away from the Pharaoh.]

Hermenthotip: [hoarse] Tell the slaves they can all go--

Bender: Go faster? I told them but they're so damn lazy.

Hermenthotip: [hoarse] No. I mean they are all free--

Bender: Free-loading off you? I agree.

Hermenthotip: [hoarse] No, I--

[He dies. The slave driver puts a sheet over his body.]

Osiran: Pharaoh Hermenthotip is dead.

Bender: [crying] He's whippin' angels now.

[Time Lapse. Night has fallen and hundreds of slaves are gathered for Hermenthotip's funeral. Fry, Bender, Leela, the Australian man and some other slaves carry Hermenthotip's coffin and lower it into a hole.]

High Priest: We commend the body of Hermenthotip to the abode of the damned. The damned good looking! [He grins but no one laughs.] Pharaoh commanded me to tell that joke at his funeral.

Bender: [crying] I'll always remember you, Hermenthotip!

High Priest: To equip Pharaoh for his journey, we bury him with his favourite possessions. Such as his heart and liver. [The slaves lower some canopic jars into the hole.] And the many goods he left in his royal garage. [A pickup truck back up to the hole and tips Hermenthotip's stuff into it.] Also, this bag of cats our culture considers holy.

[He tosses in a bag of live cats.]

[Time Lapse. An pseudo-Elton John singer plays a piano and sings a song dedicated to the Pharaoh.]

Singer: [singing] Pharaoh my God-king,
You are cold and deceased,
I used to have him sing...

[Time Lapse.]

Singer: P-P-P-Pharaoh and his pets...

[Time Lapse.]

Singer: But the years went by,
And Pharaoh died,
Suzie will have joined him in the afterlife--

[The High Priest pushes him into the hole.]

Osiran: Hermenthotip is gone. The time to designate a new Pharaoh is at hand.

[The tomb lights up.]

Bender: Wow!

Osiran: At dawn tomorrow, the high priest will consult the Wall of Prophecy to determine Hermenthotip's successor. [He points across the river at the illuminated wall. Bender hoots.] That concludes the funeral. You don't have to go home but you can't stay here.

[Scene: Liberty Meadows Slave Quarters. The slaves sit around in a room.]

Fry: Can you believe it? Pharaoh's dead!

Slave #1: Yes! Tonight we are slaves to no one, except the rhythm!

[He plays bongos. The Australian man stands up and plays some panpipes and another slave plays a tambourine.]

Leela: Yeah! Play those bongos!

Fry: I'm gonna spin till I fall down!

[He spins almost once and falls down. Bender cackles and sneaks out.]

[Cut to: Outside Liberty Meadows Slave Quarters. Bender sees the dog-guards. Their backs are turned to him. He takes a ball out of his chest cabinet and throws it. The dogs see it and run after it, barking. Bender runs off in the opposite direction.]

[Scene: Wall of Prophecy. Bender sneaks around to the front of it and takes a hammer out of his chest cabinet.]

Bender: We interrupt this ancient prophecy to bring you late-breaking bulletin. He hammers the back of his head and creates and imprint of himself on the wall.

[Time Lapse. The next morning, the High Priest and four other priests stand in front of the wall and the slaves watch.]

High Priest: Great Wall of Prophecy, reveal to us God's will that we may blindly obey.

Priests: [chanting] Free us from thought and responsibility.

High Priest: We shall read things off you.

Priests: [chanting] Then do them.

High Priest: Your words guide us.

Priests: [chanting] We're dumb.

[The slaves watch from below.]

Fry: You know what else stinks about being a slave? The hours.

[Leela covers her face with her hand in disbelief.]

High Priest: The prophecy is strange and crudely drawn at best. It indicates that, we are "here" and our next Pharaoh is over there, near some ... tents.

Bender: [shouting; from reeds] Those are waves, jackass. It's supposed to be a river!

[The slaves murmur to each other.]

Fry: Hey. I think I know who the next Pharaoh is!

Leela: Oh, Lord!

High Priest: We hear your voice, oh, great Pharaoh. Reveal yourself to us.

[Bender stands up.]

Bender: Behold! I have emerged from the place of spells and fairies!

High Priest: It is he. Just as the Wall of Prophecy prophesied. [He points at Bender's imprinted face on the wall.] Long live Pharaoh Bender!

[All the slaves except Fry and Leela bow.]

Slaves: [chanting] Long live Pharaoh Bender!

Leela: This society is a bunch of idiots.

[Scene: Outside Pharaoh's Palace. The High Priest and priests stand on a balcony addressing the slaves.]

High Priest: People of Osiris 4, please welcome a man who started as a slave but worked his way up to Lord of All Creation! Our new Pharaoh, Bender!

[The crowd cheers and Bender dances out to a riff of The Bangles' Walk Like An Egyptian.]

Bender: Citizens of Me! The cruelty of the old Pharaoh is a thing of the past. [The crowd cheers.] Let a whole new wave of cruelty wash over this lazy land.

[The crowd cheers then realises what he has said.]

Leela: What did he say?

Bender: Hear the word of Pharaoh. Build unto me a statue of ridiculous proportion. One billion cubits in height ... [The priests gasp.] ... that I might be remember-ed for all eternity. And be quick about it!

[The slaves are whipped.]

[Scene: Bender's Statue. Fry and Leela crawl along the floor with Bender sat on a throne on their backs. An old slaves struggles as he pulls some logs.]

Bender: Lowly slave, why are you not working?

Slave #2: I am.

Bender: I meant yourself to death.

Slave #3: Mighty Pharaoh, it hurts when I breathe.

Bender: Well then what do you think you should stop doing? [He taps Fry and Leela with his foot.] Crawl, pigs!

[He whips them.]

Leela: Ow!

[They crawl forward.]

Bender: The Pharaoh has spoken.

[Montage: The slaves haul the massive leg of Bender's statue upright as he watches from his palace. The ground shakes as the leg is moved into position. He whips two architects as they look at the design for the ass. Fry takes a "1" to a "-- Days Since Last Accident" sign but, instead of hammering the "1" on, he hammers his hand to the sign. The "1" falls to the ground and Fry bends down to pick it up but can't reach it.]

[Scene: The statue is almost finished. The foot is positioned so it looks like it is about to crush Hermenthotip's tomb. Up in space, the slaves, in spacesuits, lift Bender's antenna ball to the top of the statue. Bender floats near them wearing a jet pack.]

Bender: Your task is nearly completed. Don't let down Pharaoh now.

[He whips them and glides away.]

[Scene: Bender's Statue. A stage has been set up at the foot of the statue and the Osiran and the priests stand next to something covered with a sheet.]

Osiran: The great monument is finished, oh Pharaoh. And now, the unveiling.

[He pulls the sheet away revealing Bender underneath it. Bender looks up at the statue. Skeletons are sticking out of the foot. The statue speaks in a booming voice and its mouth lights up with each syllable.]

Leela: Did you really think you'd need all this junk in the afterlife?

Bender: Afterlife? Pft. If I thought I had to go through a whole other life I'd kill myself right now.

Leela: Well rot in peace. Fry and I are leaving.

Bender: Sorry, but we're totally sealed in. [He knocks the wall.] Nothing can get in or out. Except millions of snakes. [Snakes pour in from the eyes on a picture of Bender à la the snakes in Raiders Of The Lost Ark. Fry screams.] Here, have a pomegranate schnapps from my private distillery and start sharing fond memories of me, Bender.

[Fry sips some and spits it out.]

Fry: What proof is this? Some huge number?

[Leela lights the drink and it explodes.]

Leela: It's explosive! Maybe we could escape by setting fire to the distillery and blowing this whole place to rubble! [She jumps onto a wooden statue of Bender.] Let's get a little kindling going!

[She breaks away part of the leg and stacks the wood underneath the distillery. Bender dives in front of her.]