Sunday Journal: Chit-Chat … 52 List For Happiness [List #15]

Hello Friends and Happy Sunday. I was glad to have a day just to be still and relax. I haven’t been able to nap during my down time in weeks + but Friday + and Saturday I was actually able to take at least a hour on each day to nap. Let me tell you that my body needed this. October has been an extremely busy month for me + and my body let’s me know that I’m doing too much in the way of aches + and pains. Rest is so vital make sure you get plenty of it.

This week begins with List 15 which asks … “List the things you want to say no to” …

Taking on work projects that are not practical.

Medicines to control my health.

Working with certain co-workers or staff.

Some family obligations.

Teaching people that don’t want to learn.

TAKE ACTION: Did you include the words fear or guilt on your list? [No] So often we spend so much time worrying about whether to say yes or no to a person or an experience that we get lost in the guilt and worry. It’s ironic since the root of having a hard time saying no is that we are afraid of feeling guilty! This week follow your gut and practice saying no to the things you don’t have the time + energy + or desire to do. Skip the guilt phase and enjoy feeling assured of your choices.

This weeks list is interesting + because we all feel guilty when we say no to someone because in your heart of hearts you want to help + and guide people. #1 is interesting because when I write in this journal I’m always a week or two ahead + and this week I was asked to do something at work that isn’t my responsibility. Now of course this person is retiring after 25 years [I guess that’s were my guilt was supposed to kick in] and her office is so discombobulated it’s crazy. So when I was asked to “help clean it” my stubbornness kicked in first and then I thought about my knees + and my back. The person[s] that asked me to do this project know that I have limitations + but yet and still they asked me to do this task anyway. So I didn’t feel guilty for saying no + I got angry that I was asked in the first place.

#2 is a big one so I wont spend too much time on it + other than to say … I play ring-around-the-rosie when it comes to medications that control my Type 2. I’m told to take a certain pill … 2-times per day + it makes me sick so I tell the doctor this + they adjust it [and it still makes me sick] + then I tell her I can only take it once a day + and now I’m told once a day is enough so we will have to try something else. The trouble with this story is that I’m borderline with my numbers [meaning I’m right at the edge of good] + and I’ve done this with just 1-pill per day + along with diet and exercise. However I’m told that this isn’t enough because they are trying to get my A1C to some number according to some demographic that I’m in. Damn me … or my body … let’s just get to this number + no matter the stress that it puts me through. Whatever happened to diet and exercise alone to control this + the reason why doctors are trying so hard to push medicine is because they assume people are too lazy to do the work involved in staying healthy. So yes I have a big problem with this whole situation … it’s not resolved + but I’m working out what I need to do.

#5 I’m all about showing people something that they didn’t know + I have no problem at work or at home teaching + because that’s how I learned. The difference in me learning is that I actually absorbed the information + and put it to work within my environment. I’m always asked in my job to “help” someone or to “work with” someone when they have a big project + or a conference. It’s my job + I don’t mind helping … my problem is helping people that don’t want to learn + and learning myself to say no without feeling some type of way. If I show you something + I expect that most folks don’t pick it up the first time. But … if I tell you + or show you once a month every month + for the next 6 months + and your still not learning + it means you don’t want learn. I see this as you playing on my emotions … and hoping I’ll feel guilty + and just start doing it for you … and that’s simply not the way I roll. Everyone needs to learn … and I do mean everyone.

So my issues are not the result of guilt … mine are anger. I’m learning to control my anger + but I also know that people aren’t mind readers + and if you feel some type of way about something … speak up and say it. I can’t be passive about what I feel because then I’ll carry that anger + and frustration around with me. My motto is to NEVER bring any of that shit home … and yes I’m too damn old to not say what I feel + when I feel it.

With that little rant [lol] … I’ll end this post … Thanks so much for visiting my blog today + and with each post for this list + I hope that I can bring some of my happiness to others + because if you have joy in your heart + then you spread that joy to others. – [Know Thyself] Wye