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Who gives a damn?

I'm tired of giving a damn or rather listening and taking other people's crap. I'm tired of hearing what I can't do. I'm tired of hearing people restricting me using their words. I'm tired of people demotivating me or just saying how lame I am. I'm tired of people labelling and calling me names. I'm just so tired.

I used to think that I never cared but I was wrong. I did care. I did take in what they say. I did believe in what they say and I was stopping myself. I was stopping myself from improving myself. Their words were like chains. Chains that bind me. Slowly, these chains began to stop me and I just stopped doing things I liked because I feared about what others have said about it.

But not anymore, I'm not going to let that stop me. These chains that bind me, I'm going to break free and I'm going to what I like. And guess what, I don't care what they say anymore. I really don't. I'm going to break free and do the things I love.

And yea, I'm not going to give a damn anyway. And yea, who gives a damn anyway? So I really don't care anymore. So from today onwards, you can say what you like but I'm not going to give a damn.

So yea, 2010 is a new year and a new me is coming to town. Well, not new but a better and improved me. (Gosh, I sound like a product.) So, watch out~~!!

But if you really have things to say that might be able to help me or improve myself, then, maybe I'll give a damn. But I'll only give a damn if it makes sense.

And yes, I'm honestly a little emo. I think like an emo sometimes...(sometimes, not all the time.)

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This is a letter for myself. But this is also a letter for those who find themselves in the same place as I am.

I'm going to admit that life is different from what I initially thought when I was younger.

When I was younger, I assumed that by now, I would have reached or be somewhat close to the life of my dreams.

But now that I reach this point, I realised that I was wrong. I did not take into account that tertiary education took years. Personally, I don't regret my tertiary education because I did enjoy it. Yes, it was insane and difficult but it was fun and I met amazing people there.

It's been a year since my graduation and I find myself being frustrated. I felt disappointed in myself because no, I don't have my own apartment and no, I'm not rocking that cool ass job that I always dreamed of. But no, I don't hate my job either. In that sense, I'm fortunate I suppose. But I feel that it may not be the kind of thing that I want to do.

Man, it feels odd to have people believe in you at the very moment you do not trust yourself. It feels odd to hear people's praises of you when you're feeling incapable. So I guess, it's time for one of my many alter ego to suit up if I wanna win that debate competition!!

Like any other person, I have many alter ego's...and I'm gonna list most of them today.

Ms Drama QueenLikes :Attention and spotlight. She's a diva.Dislikes :People stealing her spotlight or not getting her spotlight.She is : A real drama queen. She whines & complains alot though. She thinks that the world revolves around her.Can't handle :Ms Productive

Ms Arrogant Likes : Winning, winning and winning.Dislikes : Losing and losers.She is : A real mean arrogant person. She really doesn't care about the other people. She thinks she is the best. Mostly, she thinks that her opponents aren't even her equal unless they have proven otherwise. Even then, she still thinks she is better than …

I guess it's time I grow up. When high school is over, I have to grow up, be a mature and a responsible little young lady.There's alot of things I have to learn.

To be honest, I'm a little afraid of leaving graduating from high school.WHY?I mean, I've been going to school for years. And the thought that it will finally end is a relief but also a little frightening.

But it's a new chapter in life. Everyone goes through it. So yea, I'm afraid but excited at the same time. There's so much to do after the graduating. College, driver licence & etc...

I guess I'll miss high school a little. Never thought it would end...but yea, it will soon enough.

Before I left high school, I need some closure. I mean, I made some friends & lost some friends. I do have some regrets. I was such an idiot and arrogant ass last time.So yea, before high school end, I need to send some letters to the few people I hurt.