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Monday, July 9, 2012

Awake

It's almost 4 AM and I am sitting in front of my laptop, sleepless, tired. I am cold and warm and sweaty and I have cramps -- this time not from laxatives. This time it's from the craziness that surrounds me. The hot weather, bugs flying around me, eating and purging and awful chest pains that scare me to death: what if I die? So I wait and wait and wait, still hot and tired. I will try to sleep in the morning, but I know that I will fail because the weather won't get any colder; no, it will get hotter. I will feel worse and I will die, drowning in my own sweat and acid and tears and water.

I don't know what to do, I can't go to sleep. I have been reading, surfing the internet, stalking people on the net, reading stupid useless articles and watching series, but nothing works. I have cramps, why the heck do I have cramps? I need to write to distract myself..