friday morning headlines

ANGELINA JOLIE - has no plans to adopt another child while in Haiti this week. They should get her drunk. Girls tend to be much more receptive to new ideas once they're good and drunk. (cnn)

INGLORIOUS BASTERDS - is closing the gap on 'Hurt Locker' and 'Avatar' and is now a legit threat to win the Oscar for Best Picture. Who would have guessed that a movie depicting Jews as ferocious men of action would be so well received in Hollywood? (la times and la times)

ALICE EVE - Her new movie has some ecards for Valentines Day, but even better is that the ad now has shameless closeups of her amazing chest, exactly as I suggested two weeks ago. I should be a Hollywood movie executive. I saw her huge tits and thought, "Hmm. If only there was some way to convey to the audience that she has huge tits, but how?" (ecards)

ALEC BALDWIN - attacked a photographer as he left the hospital yesterday and had to be restrained by police. It was either because the photographer was crowding Baldwin, or because he's fat and the photographer was dressed like a pint of ice cream. "NOM NOM NOM", Baldwin said. (daily news, inf)