Internet Home Of The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy

When the mighty Kerry struck out on Tuesday, San Francisco Bay Area voters in
their Dump Bush T-shirts found themselves on a salt shore. Of the eight patients
San Francisco psychotherapist Frances Verrinder saw Wednesday, seven were upset
and frightened to the point of tears.

Vicki Cormack found her neighbor on her knees, weeping. Ron Armstrong of San
Francisco is waiting for his upstairs tenant to come out of his depression so he
can ask him for the rent check.

Bruce Bottom told his psychotherapist for
2 whole days, I layed in the corner drooling & making weird sounds...When I
awoke very early Thursday morning, I remember making coffee and sitting down
with a cup at the computer machine....then, everything turned bright white, then
completely black. I felt a dull thud, and heard a sound like a pumpkin smashing
against a side of beef.Every few hours, I would drift back into lucidity,
just long enough to realize I was laying in the corner of the living room with
spittle running down my cheek and into a large puddle at my chin. and I could
hear a weird voice off in the distance. I later realized it was my own voice,
but I didn't hear words, only groans and occasional burps.One time when I
blurred back into almost consciousness, I saw my dear wife, Bobby, over at the
edge of the room, but he looked like he was 20 miles away, and I remember that
the sensation of time passing had vanished, and I seemed to be locked in a
ripple between time and space.I got the vague blurred impression that I was
curled up in the fetal position, and I could see a dust bunny in the corner in
great detail, but I knew that dust bunnies didn't talk, as this one did. It kept
echoing a phrase or mantra that I couldn't quite make out...'mandate'...'exit
polls'....Kerry-Edwards....'massive turnout'...'4 more beers, 4 more
beers'.....then the silence of the grave.

On a related note: In spire of Hip Hop Mogul Sean Combs' "Vote or Die" campaign, of the millions of eligible citizens who chose not to exercise their civic duty, there have been no confirmed non-voting-related deaths. As to the number of Sean-Combs-related deaths during that time, officials remain unsure until all the statistics have been compiled.

In another part of town, Joyce Renaker began "eating chocolate and speaking
in obscenities."
"Where do we hang our hope? For years I've been hanging it on the election,"
she said. "I'm floundering, disoriented."