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This blog is about a family formed through foster care adoption as we navigate parenting children with early childhood trauma, open adoption, and the child welfare system.

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Tough Day

We had another tough day. It started with discovering that the kids had been putting poopy toilet paper in the garbage can instead of the toilet. Sadly, this is pretty common in foster care. Some families don't have good plumbing and this is how kids are taught. We have a dog that likes to dig in the garbage in the bathroom and I don't enjoy finding poop all over my carpet.

Willow met with the oldest girls and told them the visits with the former foster family would not be happening. The kids were sad and angry. Sarah cried and cried. Then she decided to battle us over 1/4 cup of spinach at dinner. She cried her eyes out for over 30 minutes. We stayed calm. We explained her choices. Eventually, she realized we weren't going to cave and she ate her spinach.

The tantrum had nothing to do with dinner. She was feeling the loss of people she loves. Add to that 2 weeks of no visit with Mom and another missed phone call and you can see why she had to let it all out. We just went about our meal. The other kids finished their spinach and got dessert. She controlled the environment for a good while and then realize no one was giving her the attention she was seeking. Even when she escalated to blood curdling screams. (I just calmly said. Do that again and you will be writing 100 sentences.) we all sat at the table with her and did our best to ignore the crying.

Willow told us that neither parent is making satisfactory progress on their case plan. If things stay as they are, she believes that they may have enough documentation to start termination proceedings in the summer. We were shocked. That's still a ways away. They were able to move visits with Sheila to a week night so that will make my life a little easier. The permanency hearing in March should be interesting.

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About Our Family

Full time paralegal and Adoptive Mom to: Stella (12), Sarah (11), Simon (), Smiley (8). Former Foster Mom to Solana (2). Blogging about life as a Mom and support to our former foster kids. Email me at rloveisastateofmind@yahoo.com