Link Love (25/08/2012)

News Across the World

“Before their wedding ceremony begins in rural Afghanistan, a 40-year-old man sits to be photographed with his 11-year-old bride. The girl tells the photographer that she is sad to be engaged because she had hoped to become a teacher.” 11-year-old girl married to 40-year-old man – CNN

Morocco: “The editor of Morocco’s Al-Ahdath Al-Maghribia daily newspaper, Moktar el-Ghzioui, is living in fear for his life after he expressed support for pre-marital sex during a local television debate.” Should pre-marital sex be legal? – BBC

Saudi Arabia: “Unfortunately, there are still women who are not aware of their right to give consent for their medical treatment and what is worse is that some doctors also are not aware of these rights or they deny women these rights out of fear of encountering problems with male guardians. This practice can be dangerous and can waste time which may lead to medical catastrophes.” Women’s health rights in Saudi Arabia – Al Arabiya

Yemen: “Researchers and activists believe that early marriages hinders social development in Yemen because women, half of society and an economic power that societies depend on, don’t work, leaving the burden to husbands and to society.” Early marriage obstructs social development – Yemen Times

Thought-provoking

“So underlying all of these premises is a sort of Premise Zero, which is this: I am worth, and deserve, to be treated with a certain basic minimum of respect and love. It is better to have no relationship at all than a relationship in which these things are not true. By starting with these positive assumptions, I can build healthy relationships; partners for whom these assumptions are not true are not worthy of being my partner.” Assumptions in Relationship – More Than Two

“In these moments, I was left alone, heartbroken, but, when I was truly honest with myself—at least partially to blame. I had avoided infusing myself into these relationships, because I deeply feared that doing so would scare my partner away. I had internalized messages during my youth—messages of being too big, too loud, too passionate. I had been told by my experiences that people stayed around longer if you made your needs as brief and palatable as possible, and then went about your day becoming exactly who they need you to be.” The Ripple Effect – The Beheld

“I cannot base how I interact with my child on how closely they meet my dreams for them. I cannot choose my children’s religious, political, or philosophical outlook. I can’t control their attitudes or interests. My child will encounter situations I never foresaw for them. They might develop an addiction or get into legal trouble. My child might develop friendships or romances with people that I don’t particularly understand or enjoy being around. And all of these things which are outside of my control highlight how my love for my child needs to be truly unconditional.” What you aren’t told when you have a baby – Permission to Live

Religion

“Christian Patriarchy put my father in the place of God. It made his will God’s will and his views God’s views. Pleasing my father and pleasing God became one and the same thing. Believing what my father said was synonymous with believing what God said. Disobedience to my father was disobedience to God. My father’s voice and God’s voice had somehow combined and become one.” Worshiping the Man: Christian Patriarchy as Idolatry – Love, Joy, Feminism

“As you can see, this is not some blatant, aggressive antigovernment or anti-Islam demonstration by an activist (the criminalization of which would be unacceptable in its own right). The “perpetrator” is not even an adult. The possibility that she may be mentally impaired only makes this kind of persecution more sickening. Even worse, according to The Guardian, is that she may face the death penalty for this victimless crime.” The Petty Vindictiveness of Blasphemy Laws – Friendly Atheist

Equality

“Regardless of what a person says about not hating gay people, if they group consensual acts like gay sex together with non-consensual acts like bestiality and pedophilia, they’re going to come across as offensive. Really offensive. And not really very loving, either.” So you say you don’t hate gay people, Part IV – Love, Joy, Feminism

“The truth is that, yes, hip-hop culture does sometimes include offensive views of women but doesn’t all of pop culture? In the commercials for perfumes, you see women who are practically naked except for the white sheet that they’re wearing, which has nothing to do with the perfume. You have movies in which men are dressed in purple suits, pink fur coats, flashy jewelry with a perm and walking cane, calling themselves pimps. Through these examples, media makes the term “pimp” a good thing by portraying a “pimp” as a person with a lot of girlfriends. In reality, a “pimp” is a person who not only sells young girls but deceives them into thinking that their relationship is one of love and not business.” How the Media Sells Pimp Culture – fbomb

“But that is not the point. Nor is the central issue the positives of breastfeeding. Indeed, women should receive all the education available in the least judgmental environment possible. Who could possibly oppose that? But once the discussion is done, women who decide breastfeeding does not work for them should be able to make their decision in peace and without prying. The real reason the Gotham policy is so objectionable is it infantilizes women by telling them they are no longer adult enough to decide for themselves what is best for their families and themselves.” A Woman’s Right to Choose (Not to Breastfeed) – Gayle Tzemach Lemmon – The Atlantic

“But new research suggests that the wage gap may potentially be attributed, at least in some part, to the way women are perceived in the workplace: When a managers know they can blame the company’s financial woes for their pay decisions, they are likely to give women smaller raises than their male counterparts. And that’s because women may be seen as being more readily appeased by such excuses than men.” Another Reason Women May Be Paid Less Than Men – NY Times

Inspirational

“The healing power of writing lies in coaxing out our secret truths, our most heart-felt prose, and committing to the intermediary step of sharing it with the page. It lies in the moment of deciding to believe in our own power by making real all those words that we’ve been holding on to. It is the sharing of our stories, authored by our own hand, and carefully crafted in our own words.” The Healing Power of Writing – Beautiful You

“So don’t hate on yourself for your worry. Don’t get angry at it. Don’t allow anxiety to continually pull you down in vicious circles of negative self-talk and increased negative self-talk. Just… acknowledge that your brain is doing its absolute best to give you a safe life. Sometimes it might seem like an enemy. But your end goals are the same. Love it, and maybe someday it’ll feel safe and will quiet down a little bit, and you can end up being partners. You and your brain– working together to walk peacefully in the world! What a lovely image, and a worthwhile goal. It’s a very real future, and this is a very real way to help you get there.” Love Your Worry – Paleo for Women

“How often have you had this thought: I will be worth celebrating, when…
For the majority of my life, celebration was riddled with qualifiers. I believed firmly that I would only be worthy all of the revelry and fun that I could imagine for myself if, and only if, I met my levels of expectation.” How to Celebrate Who You Already Are – Mara Glatzel

Professional

“I guess my point is ethnic dressing, like standing straight, meeting people in the eye when I talk, and not apologizing for my point of view, is actually a form of assertive communication on my part. It’s a personal choice – just as any other woman’s style of professional presentation is her personal choice.” Suit or Sari? On Professionalism and ‘Ethnic’ Dressing -Adios Barbie