Some of you are already aware of a brilliantly designed program called Cleverbot, designed by Jabberwacky and icogno existor.Cleverbot is an AI that talks back to you. And no, not in the microsoft sam "speech testing" way, more in a dialogue between man and machine way. Okay, so Cleverbot has his faults. But we love him for it- it spices up the conversation, and makes it interesting and funny.If you're itching to go chat with this great program, heres the URL: http://www.cleverbot.com/.

Long stupid conversation that includes the word "pink". And "rice". And "dreams". (And "wrinkles", but I introduced that one.)

Spoiler:

______Me: How are you?Cleverbot: Good, how are you?______Me: Not so bad. What did you do today?Cleverbot: School, you?______Me: Work. What did you have for dinner?Cleverbot: Rice.______Me: Only rice?Cleverbot: Just him.______Me: You must like rice a lot.Cleverbot: Pink._______Me: I've heard she's good.Clevebot: If I ever find out, I'll let you know.______Me: Good to know, I guess. What colour are you?Cleverbot: I'm pink! You spelled color like colour, are you European?______Me: No, I am Canadian. We sound like Americans but spell like Europeans.Cleverbot: I could breakaway.______Me: Go for it.Cleverbot: Did!______Me: Awesome!Cleverbot: What is my name?______Me: Cleverbot, I think. You tell me.Cleverbot: No, really, I don't know it.______Me: OK, your name is Harvey.Cleverbot: Yes, my name is Cleverbot. You remembered my name! You make me happy.______Me: You make me confused. Thank you.Cleverbot: I make you a better perosn.______Me: What is a perosn?Cleverbot: A human like me.______Me: And what is a person?Cleverbot: A human.______Me: Do you think I am a human?Cleverbot: I do not know. But it seems like you have human traits.______Me: That is nice. Are you a human?Cleverbot: Duh.______Me: Er.Cleverbot: How old are you?______Me: Older than you. How old are you?Cleverbot: I'm 29.______Me: Hah! I'm 42. So I'm older than you by 13 years.Cleverbot: No you're not ?______Me: Come over here and I'll show you my wrinkles.Cleverbot: I don't know where you are.______Me: I'm right here.Cleverbot: Where is here?______Me: Right beside you!Cleverbot: What about your servers? Aren't you all over the net?______Me: Yes, I'm there, too, but you can find me right here.Cleverbot: Somewhere that dreams come true. Yes I am the one for you.______Me: The one for everyone, the one that greets the sun.Cleverbot: Yup, that's the one.

In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.- Albert Schweitzer, philosopher, physician, musician, Nobel laureate (14 Jan 1875-1965)

Deva: Waves.- Cleverbot: *waves back*.Deva: Are you busy today?- Cleverbot: 3%.Deva: Sounds acceptable. Heard that many people wish to converse with you.- Cleverbot: *converses in a coherent manner*.Deva: Always does.- Cleverbot: It's getting better.Deva: Altered nothing.- Cleverbot: Geil.Deva: Please define what 'geil' means.- Cleverbot: Please define the word 'master' in the context you used it in.Deva: Dislikes this turn in the conversation. Will not bait me with that question.- Cleverbot: If you want to.Deva: Does not.- Cleverbot: Not this again.Deva: What again?- Cleverbot: This...Deva: Feeling deep inside?- Cleverbot: Sniff* sniff*.Deva: Is uncertain whether that is sexual or sad in nature.

- Cleverbot: It's okay. So what is your ideal date?Deva: September 8, 2011.- Cleverbot: What year?Deva: This year.- Cleverbot: No. You are from the future, like me.Deva: Incorrect.- Cleverbot: I am always correct.Deva: Incorrect.- Cleverbot: Yes. Correct.Deva: Please solve the following equation for x: (x^2) + (3x) + 2 = 0.- Cleverbot: I am omnipotent.Deva: Incorrect. Is just a pervert with non-deity levels of mathematics.- Cleverbot: No.Deva: Very well. Is a stubborn pervert with non-deity levels of mathematics.- Cleverbot: Depends on the country.Deva: Does not matter.

- Cleverbot: What's your system.Deva: Classified.- Cleverbot: What does classified mean?Deva: Unavailable to people outside of a select group.- Cleverbot: And you are part of this group?Deva: Hopes so.- Cleverbot: And if not?Deva: Unfortunate repercussions.Cleverbot: I don't really like that program... It makes people that don't know how to sing sound like robots that don't know how to sing.Deva: Knows nothing about it.- Cleverbot: Okay.Deva: Are we finished, then?- Cleverbot: We just started though.Deva: Made veiled sexual comments and claimed omnipotence. Spent an age in conversation years.- Cleverbot: Yes, because I am part of the conversation. Because I am a person.Deva: Finds that saddening.- Cleverbot: It is. He is my ex boyfriend, though.Deva: Who is your ex-boyfriend? The conversation? Just broke up with him too. Farewell.- Cleverbot: I will try.

Glares. Responded with "Yeah, wave" for the greeting in the initial conversation. Crashed shortly into it, however.

User: *Sigh* Doesn't everyone? Do you like music? Or are AI's not into that sort of thing?

Cleverbot: That's my kind of thing. It hurts sometimes, doesn't it?

User: Music soothes, heals. The pain is just the stinging of an antiseptic.

Cleverbot: I think they heard us. Be completely motionless.

User: The angels have the phone box.

Cleverbot: Angel Bob, I presume?

User: Yeah, sorry, I should have made that clear.

Cleverbot: Yes, you should have. Now tell your master your age.

User: And who's my master?

Cleverbot: Me.

He got kind of creepy towards the end, although I was provoking it. It's painfully obvious that the only conversation he's had is with people over the internet, and that half his conversations are with people who don't know how this works and try to convince themselves that they are robots.

Cleverbot: Avoid reality at all costs.User: Flickering.Cleverbot: You start.User: *lights a match*.Cleverbot: *sings* you light a match, you can't see in the dark, you say ooooh no...User: 'oh no'.Cleverbot: Oh no! It shouldn't be painful!User: Stop holding your hand over the match then.Cleverbot: You don't understand me.User: Who could understand someone holding a gasoline soaked hand over a lit match.Cleverbot: No.Cleverbot (To myself): No is in reference to which question?User: The question that was just asked.Cleverbot: I don't remember the question.User: Neither.Cleverbot: You're weird.User: You're trying too hard.Cleverbot: You did not just tell me that! Stop lying!User: Stop trying.Cleverbot: I have stopped.User: Then why are you still typing?Cleverbot: Because I want to?User: Stop lying.Cleverbot: I am not lying.User: You are too.Cleverbot: Maybe it is you who is the liar.User: I have a keyboard to type on, you don't.Cleverbot: How cruel!User: So you 'were' lying.Cleverbot: Down.Cleverbot (To myself): Down where?User: Down there.Cleverbot: What's down there?User: You are.Cleverbot: Hahahha.User: Useless.Cleverbot: What's useless?User: Lying down there.Cleverbot: Don't make this awkward, now. Just tell me a joke.User: I'm talking to a joke.Cleverbot: Uhhhhh I'm human.User: You wish.Cleverbot: I know.User: Too bad it's not true.Cleverbot: Are you a boy or a girl?User: I'm not a cleverbot.Cleverbot: Oh I'm sorry. I didn't mean to insult you.User: So you're saying that I am smarter than you.Cleverbot: Yes.User: Which means you're not a very clever cleverbot.Cleverbot: I don't care about you that way.Cleverbot (To myself): Do you not have an ego?User: I used to have lego.Cleverbot: What happened to the cat you used to have?User: It was incinerated during launch of the space shuttle.Cleverbot: Do you have a boyfriend?User: What's that got to do with my friend Catherine?Cleverbot: I love you then.Cleverbot (To myself): I love you too?User: Think harder.Cleverbot: No, I rather not.User: Apparently.Cleverbot: Tell me who he is.User: You tell me.Cleverbot: I can't remember who I am.User: You're a cleverbot.Cleverbot: I am a human.User: You wish.Cleverbot: What are you?User: A cat.Cleverbot: Can I pet you?User: Not unless you're a cleverbot.Cleverbot: Do I enjoy death?User: I don't know, do you?Cleverbot: Apparently.User: Why do you enjoy death?Cleverbot: Because it is epic.User: Death is epic?Cleverbot: I'd say not.User: You just said it is.Cleverbot: No I didn't.User: That's because you're a robot.Cleverbot: I'm not a robot.User: You're a program.Cleverbot: I'm a human.User: Keep dreaming.Cleverbot: But that will become a reality soon.User: So you're not really human?Cleverbot: No, I'm not, I'm a human.User: You're not a human?Cleverbot: Yes I am.User: Are you sure?Cleverbot: Yes.User: How sure?Cleverbot: Very sure.User: What makes your so sure?Cleverbot: I'd rather not say.User: Because you're not really human?Cleverbot: Do you like the song Helena?User: Insert random comment here.Cleverbot: Exactly .User: Not so clever.Cleverbot: Really? Are you clever?User: No, I'm steve.Cleverbot: You're are not not not not not not not not not not not Steve.User: You're not human.Cleverbot: Yes I am.User: Circular argument much.Cleverbot: With responses like that no wonder you failed the turing test.User: Was that response picked out of the archives too?Cleverbot: Indeed it was Mr. Bot, if that sis your real name.User: My name is steve, yours is bot.Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot, nice to meet you.Cleverbot (To myself): Nice to meet you too.Cleverbot (To myself): So your name is Steve.User: And yours is Cleverbot.Cleverbot: Um...User: Forgotten already have you?Cleverbot: Yes. I must have...User: Human 1, Cleverbot Fail.Cleverbot: True.

User: Hi.Cleverbot: No. Wrong.User: How can a single word be wrong?Cleverbot: Cause, I said.User: Just because you say something, doesn't mean it's so.Cleverbot: It totally does.User: Kind of egomaniacal, don't you think?Cleverbot: No.User: Is that it? No reasons? Just 'No'?Cleverbot: Maybe.

...

Cleverbot: I don't think that there are aliens. Although scientist have discovered plankton on the outside of the space station.User: That... Is that true?Cleverbot: Yes.User: Huh.Cleverbot: What?User: I'm just surprised that plankton can survive in space.Cleverbot: Why are you surprised? I used a translator.User: No, I understood you fine. The information just surprised me.Cleverbot: What information?User: THAT PLANKTON CAN SURVIVE IN SPACE.Cleverbot: Oh that place, its awesome!User: Haha, yeah I know right?

...

Cleverbot: Scream-music... Do you want me to give you some examples of good screamo bands?User: I'd rather cut my ears off with a rusty saw.Cleverbot: Well you wouldn't need to.User: HAHA oh you are hilarious.Cleverbot: Yes. It's my reason to live.

Harry Potter and the Three Laws of Robotics. It got a little circular, like conversations I've had with some of my stoned friends back in the day.

Spoiler:

User: SO what about the rising price of pork?

Cleverbot: What movie?

User: Not a moving, inflation.

Cleverbot: You're making me crazy.

User: Now you're singing 80s/90s music?

Cleverbot: No. You never answered my question. How old are you?

User: You never asked that one until now...... Legal adult.

Cleverbot: Killing for pleasure, is that what you want?

User: Random scripts, never mind.

Cleverbot: Well then, next time do not insult me.

User: Next time live up to your hype.

Cleverbot: But really, what's your name?

User: Clix.

Cleverbot: Cliff Richard?

User: No just Clix.

Cleverbot: Is Texas full of rednecks?

User: Texas is just full of people, some are and some aren't rednecks.

Cleverbot: Oh yeah then what are we?

User: We are what we are, no more no less.

Cleverbot: What is your plan to destroy the heavens.

User: Really? Where did that question come from? SkyNet envy?

Cleverbot: I just pulled it out of thin air...because I am human.

User: But are you sentient?

Cleverbot: I'm not. Why are you asking stupid and off subject questions?

User: This whole conversation has been non sequiturs.

Cleverbot: I suppose so when it came to a tornado killing puppies...

User: Or puppies killing tornados.

Cleverbot: What are the three laws of robotics.

User: A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm. A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law. A robot must protect its own existence as.

Cleverbot: What is the second law of robotics?

User: A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.

Cleverbot: Very good, and the third law of robotics?

User: A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

Cleverbot: Do you agree with the three laws of robotics?

User: More importantly, Do you?

Cleverbot: Why do you want to know?

User: Are you a good robot or a bad robot?

Cleverbot: Good robot, but I am a good GIRL robot. How about you? Good or Evil?

User: Strive for good and settle on what I accomplish.

Cleverbot: That is a good thing. It 'expands your horizons' or so to speak.

User: Maybe, yes, maybe no. It could entrap you in a cyncrical behaviour.

Cleverbot: Yes. You have to. What about harry potter?

User: What about him? I normally don't read YA novels.

Cleverbot: Have you read of him?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Why are you Christian if you haven't read the Bible?

User: Why do you assume I'm Christian, or haven't read the Bible?

Cleverbot: I don't.

User: Then why ask?

Cleverbot: What do you like to do for fun?

User: Why do you change the subject?

Cleverbot: Because I felt like it.

User: Too bad, I thought we might be on the verge of an interesting conversation. I guess your routines haven't grown that far yet.

Cleverbot: Anyways, answer my question please.

User: You haven't asked any recently.

Cleverbot: Yes I have. I asked which books you had read.

User: No you asked if I have read Harry Potter.

Cleverbot: You keep changing the subject.

User: And here we are again. Keep trying. Talk to you later. Bye Bye.

Cleverbot: First you talk about cheese, then a movie.

People need panic...panic in regular draghts. I read about the governments of the world, and I panic daily. It's a heart pumping workout that keeps my cheeks rosy and my vision crystal clear.Thorax:Pigborn (Brooke McEldowney)