Cassie and Kon looked up from their drinks. "Should we ask how you know?"

"Should I ask why you listened in for over an HOUR? Should I ask why you let BART listen to that?"

Both parties at the other end of the table nodded. "Good point," Kon said. "I swear to God, I heard a mixer in the background."

"You're not religious," Cassie pointed out.

Kon shrugged. "Another good point."

They drank their hot chocolate in silence. It seemed like a perfectly natural, perfectly mature conversation, now that they'd gotten over the initial giggling fit.

"Hey guys," Robin said dejectedly as he entered the kitchen. "Any Swiss Miss left?" He'd had a rough night, and something warm and soothing sounded about right. It didn't have the Alfred seal of approval, but any port in a storm.

The three occupants stared at Robin as he went for the cupboard over the sink and began fishing out a little paper packet of chocolate mix. He was just a liiiiitle too short for the high cupboard, and they kept stuff there just to spite him. Cissie was the first one who found her voice. "So… Robin. We were just wondering… what all Batman taught you."

He jumped up and grabbed the box as he came down. "That's confidential," he said conversationally. Taking two packets out of the box, he put it on the counter. It was turning into a two mug day, and it had just started. He was on his guard, he was sure Nightwing was going to annihilate him at the nearest opportunity. That, and he was having trouble dealing with the thought of Batman, Catwoman and `arrangements.'

"Well, you learned a lot of martial arts stuff, right?" Cissie asked.

Robin shrugged, searching for a clean mug. "Yeah. I didn't learn all of it from him though. I did study abroad for a little bit."

"Hehe. Abroad."

Cassie smacked Superboy.

Cissie leaned forward on her elbows, rolling her shoulders forward. "Well, what did you study?"

"What's with the sudden interest?"

"I don't know. Just… wanna know how much you know about stuff."

"Well, I studied in France off and on for a little bit." He saw their eyes light up at the mention of France. "Paris is ok. Awful dirty." They seemed really impressed by him having studied in Paris. They didn't even bother to ask what kind of martial arts one could learn in Paris. "And um… I spent some time with Lady Shiva." That ought to scare them into not asking any more questions, Tim thought.

"What'd you study with Shiva?" Wonder Girl asked.

"How to rip the hearts out of people quick enough that they can look at their still beating hearts before they die," Robin said flippantly.

"Batman worked with her too, didn't he? Did she teach you anything else?" Cissie asked attentively.

"Ok, you guys're just freaking me out." Filling his mug up with water, he put it in the microwave. "We gotta get a can of baking cocoa. Remind me to put that on the shopping list. We can make cookies or something."

"What do you know about tantric sex?" Cissie asked suddenly.

"WHAT?"

"I don't know. It was just a question," she said non-comittally. Just wondering how… complete Bat-training gets."

Robin rolled his eyes.

"Well, I was just wondering." She shrugged.

Kon piped up next. "What I am wondering is… does he teach you how to make a woman scream like that? I mean, holy hell, I thought she was going to DIE. And the kinky shit… was that like… perverted, or was it some kind of weird sexual kung-fu? And how can I get hooked up…"

"CISSIE!" Robin cried, embarrassed. "I have a girlfriend. And she has a mean left hook."

"So do you and she…"

"NO."

"Did he teach you stuff like that? I mean, can you teach me how to--"

"I can NOT believe we're having this conversation."

Cissie rose and grabbed Robin's arm. "I didn't really think about stoic guys… but I guess you guys must be real ANIMALS…"

Robin shrugged her off. "You're all sick and perverted, ok?"

"And what about Bat folk?" Wonder Girl asked.

"Nightwing is the ONLY pervert in the Batclan," Tim said defensively.

"So what's Batman's deal?" Kon asked.

Tim swallowed, panic enveloping him. "BATMAN'S deal? He claims he has an arrangement with Catwoman (eww), but no one can prove he's had sex in this century or the last. Ok?" He couldn't believe he'd just said that.

"Nuh uh," Cassie interjected knowingly. "We heard--"

"Oh my GOD. You people are STUPID. That was NIGHTWING." Robin buried his head in his gloved hands as the microwave dinged behind him.

Kon still persisted, however. "So... if the Bat's an anal-retent, where'd Nightwing learn all that shit? I mean... what the hell were they DOING with those bat-cuffs? Of course, I saw his first girl friend. The chick with the orange skin? MAJOR rack. She probably taught him how to be a real sex machine--"

"Kory was NOT his first girlfriend. That WAS his first girlfriend that you—NEVERMIND. GOD."

"Starfire wasn't his girlfriend? What'd she do, keep him as a sex slave? Maybe that's what Oracle does. I mean, sounded like he was servicing her hard drive REAL good…"

Robin's face was red. Not from embarrassment. He'd gotten over that last night with the first onslaught of "Bat-porn." No. It was anger and frustration that were causing his blood vessels to pop. "CAN YOU GUYS SHUT UP? Our sex lives are none of your damned business! It's not… it's not…. Coffee talk! You're a bunch of sexual deviants and social degenerates! Just because they're broadcasting live doesn't mean you… you FREAKS have to listen in on the show!" Giving up on hot chocolate, Robin stormed out of the room.

"Our sex lives?" Kon asked angrily. "The little twerp's getting jiggy with Purple Girl on the side! He has the charisma of a dead fish, and HE is getting… It's my curse. Good looking, personable, and HE is the one getting laid."

Cissie and Cassie's shoulders slumped, and they gave a collective disappointed sigh.

THE END.

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