La photographie a un prix!

07 November 2011

Signs and portents

So there are choices, many choices, for which I should be grateful. But how do we choose among such a variety of abodes, each with its own particular benefits, as well as imperfections??!!

It may surprise you to know I've never owned a house! As a journalist, all my adult life has been nomadic, moving from city to city; from country to country. So our current quest for a permanent home in the Netherlands is proving an emotional minefield, as I try to come to terms with the idea of stability (!); of finally unpacking all that baggage, real and imagined.

Am trying to trust my instincts. But just when we think we've found the right place, unexpected problems are revealed: a leak that needs repair; a window that requires attention. A 1920s ground-floor apartment with original stained-glass windows seems too small and narrow. A beautiful 1934 bungalow is located on a busy city street. A charming 1930s maisonette is close to a train station, with an enthusiastic noise level to match.

A light-filled mansion is located in a nondescript neighbourhood, with sweeping views of - other houses! A gorgeous house is amiss in a modern, Stepford-like bedroom community, devoid of character. A place near our current maisonette that ticks most of the boxes is jaw-droppingly expensive. A spacious three-storey house has a tiny, closet-like kitchen. A former schoolhouse converted to a loft has light and space to spare, but would need major renovation and euros to burn.

We've viewed about two dozen places in different cities and neighbourhoods - as well as probably 100 online listings - and it seems our search isn't finished. Meanwhile, we edge a week closer to a late January move date, with no set destination. Perhaps we'll be traveling without reservations?

Catching up on all your posts, but this one resonated. You are wise to wait for the right thing. It's one thing to make minor repairs or repaint or manage things like this but to live in the wrong neighborhood, have the nagging view that displeases, too little space or too much noise are all big things. You will find the right thing -- this I know. And when you do, you will make it even lovelier than it already is!

Everyone fears making a wrong choice especially when it's something as huge as buying a home (and when you've always lived the nomadic life!) You want to feel you're making the best possible choice, right? But how do you KNOW? Maybe you've already tried this but just in case, here's how I make big, difficult decisions (I used to do stuff like this with coaching clients, too):
1) Make a list of all the things you'd want in your ideal home. Just brainstorm without censoring anything (don't worry about cost or other factors).
2) Then, out of that list, PRIORITIZE. First pick your top 5 most important must-haves. The deal-breakers, the things you absolutely cannot and will not compromise on.
3) Next, pick 3-5 more things to add to the priority list, but this time permit yourself to be a little more flexible in terms of how essential they are. So, they're still super-important but maybe you could flex on one of them if you had all the other stuff.
4) After that, you're dealing with what I call the nice-to-haves: the extras, the bonuses. Once you've satisfied the majority of your must-haves, of course you want to try and check off as many of these as you can to make the decision even more satisfying.

Doing an exercise like this will help you narrow down the list of possibilities to a much smaller number because you can usually rule out several of the choices right off the bat based on the "must/essential" criteria you've established. It helps you determine what really matters the most to you; for example are you willing to trade a better neighborhood for a better living space? Only you can answer that.

At the end of it all, once you've got it down to a few choices, you have to just go with your intuition and how the place "feels". Can you visualize yourself living there? Decorating it? Waking up, going to sleep, sitting with a cup of tea, entertaining friends on the holidays? The pick the one that makes you light up like Times Square when you think about it!

This may sound silly but I believe once you and David walk into a space you will "know" if it is the one or not. You can feel it in your soul. We are recently owning a home for the first time, too. It can be frustrating and yet wonderful in so many ways. I am sending good karma across the pond that your search ends well...and soon!

I have found the more you look, the better the odds are of finding something you will love. When we walked into the house we are in now I wondered why our realtor sent us here, as from the outside it wasn't at all what I wanted. I walked in the door and it had everything on my list except the outdoor personality. It does get frustrating at times, but you will know it when you see it.

Sheris, thank you. It might still work out - we're negotiating. But some repair issues need to be resolved. Meanwhile, nearly all these places are along a canal (but not as pretty as the one I photographed). :)

1) Ownership is always more expensive than you think it'll be-- but incredibly satisfying once the deal falls into place.

2) Know your undertones. The wrong ones side-by-side will make living in your new home seem like fingernails on a chalkboard until you can get your neutrals coordinated. Which might take years if you're replacing counters and appliances.

3) Cheap is as cheap does. If one aspect of the home has been done half-assed, you can be certain that other areas were done just as poorly. Walk away from this property even if it seems perfect.