Monday, May 5, 2008

Chasing the Impossible Dream!!

So as I type this it is Monday Night here, I have just returned from my little Island Hideaway. You know the one where girls cannot get too.

But its time to poor my heart out............ .

Today I have mixed feelings as it is the One year Anniversary of me 'Almost' Making it in the Animation Industry. For me its always 'Almost' never has 'did' or 'am' been in the vocabulary.On this particular time I lasted exactly 8 hours at the only animation company in Tasmania before being kicked out on my ass. I was devastated. The subject of which I shall reveal in a future blog. But anyway after I had licked my wounds that night I went on a Bender, I drank alot.

I don't know why I Fail? I just do! I was speaking to someone the other day about this exact problem and their solution was that 'Maybe you should seriously think of doing something else with your life rather than wasting it on a Dream that always ends in failure'

Its tough for me to hear that, But I understand why they say it. Alot of people ask me why I put myself down all the time when it comes to my artwork. And the simple answer is that I have worked really hard to get to the level I am at but its not enough....Its never Enough.

Why? I cant answer. I think I'm talented in my respective field thats not to say I see others who are better than me because I do. I feel however that I am beginning to feel that I am wasting away and so is my talent my passion for it is waning and although it makes me feel good when I get wonderfully talented artists comment on my work that are where they want to be and I'm not.

Is it my fault??

Probably, all I know is that besides all the jobs I never get paid for or never get I die a little more inside. I cant tell you how much it hurts me to say it but it might be time and to let the dream go.

But my question to you is, Is the world better to not have never known Matt Pott and his artwork?

Onto other things and yes I still havent seen Iron Man yet, I won tickets at work and I am taking my friend Marty on Wednesday night as I return the favour for taking me to see Transformers last year. I shall give a little mini review but I know I shall enjoy it!!

Well I thought I'd end on a high note after re-reading what I had earlier wrote. oi I cant believe I said what I have said!! Let me know your thoughts!!

3 comments:

You know, many's a time when I've felt this way. That I've been a fool for believing that anything I could have ever done, been, dreamed up, or created was worth something to anyone.It just eats at you a bit, y'know?You have these Technicolor dreams of fantastically funny and amazing adventures, things that entertain and mean something. Which is rare these days, something that has a voice and looks enticing enough to hold your attention.

After these dreams and ideas fill you up with enough motivation to feel like you can take on the world and just about anyone or anything who opposes you, life comes along and swiftly boots you in the man bits. A minor setback, money's tight, things are super busy and you have to drudge through a nine to five, instead of sitting in front of your drafting table or your lap desk and just feeling those ideas fill you up and literally make you smile, on the inside and the outside. It's like being in love again, or giving birth, for god's sake. You feel alive and you know that your putting in some work, but the clock really doesn't matter, all that does matter is getting the line weight right, or stretching a character's expression to the point of unnatural hilarity, just to get that emotion inside of you out to get that joke out.

Should you give up?No.Not just no, but fuck no, my friend.The world needs people like us. People with voices.Voices that scratch away at people's memories and leave a lasting and important impact on them as they grow in their lives.Sometimes it doesn't hit right away, and believe me, I know.Sometimes it does, and it makes all of the bullshit and self-doubt worth it.I've had people who remembered some of the sketches that I'd done in high school, or some of the comic pages I'd done back then, tell me how funny they were and how much those sketches and comics meant to them.I've had students that I've taught recently contact me through MySpace and let me know that even though I was a substitute teacher at their High School for just a short few months, I'd made a lasting impact on them; that my recent sketches were motivating to them, that the advice I'd given them really made their lives better, that they truly appreciate how much more I'd cared than the teachers they have had all year long.

Don't give up.You owe yourself, and the kids out there that are growing up, just like you did more than then self doubt and being unmotivated. What if your favorite comic books and cartoons were never made because people were unsure of their dreams?I may not have that much time, or energy to sketch and draw as much as I'd like to, but I'll never give up. Even if I have to design logos for companies I don't own instead of drawing comic strips or cartoons.I hope that you won't either.