jessica murray

Friday, December 9, 2016

i spent the morning updating the interface on my blogger sites. there's links on the sides, now. this is something closer to what i what i wanted to exist at appspot, and will eventually make it's way there. it's just that blogspot is so much more convenient...

so, this is where i'm posting until they start deleting shit, again. hope it lasts.

Thursday, December 8, 2016

yesterday was somewhat of a split day. i got a little bit of work done, but i stopped to sleep. ultimately, the appointment yesterday was stressful. i have no idea how i could have gotten hep b. it's not confirmed yet that i actually do, but i can't even figure out how i'd have antibodies.

i haven't had sex in roughly ten years.

the most rational thing, at this point, is actually that there was an error at the lab. it's just about the only thing that makes any sense.

i was up today around 1:30 and spent the first half of it trying to figure out how to respond. i've decided to focus on the record first, then get a full print out of the results and then research what they say a little more closely. i'll make a decision as to whether i want to take a second test afterwards.

if i am infected, i think the most likely place i could have gotten infected would be at the lab. unless roaches spread hepatitis? i think that would be news if it were true...

i haven't had sex in roughly ten years.

i got something to eat a little after four. i needed to wait a bit to get back to work, for good reasons that i will not share. i posted something to google and went to edit it. error.

what? refresh...

gone.

well, the error gave me the heads up. i copied it to clipboard. try a paste. post. refresh.

gone.

i tried this repeatedly, and it disappeared every time. what's going on?

i don't know. i know that i'm not going to post there any more. i just set up a new blogspot site, instead:

Wednesday, December 7, 2016

another short night, tonight. why am i so tired? i don't know. but, my throat has been pretty raw the last few days. and i pooped like eight times today. it wasn't liquid, it was just really frequent. so, maybe my body is fighting with something.

that said, i could probably push myself for a few more hours. but, i want to get a few hours of sleep in now so i don't miss my appointment in the morning.

i actually tried to get the vocal mix done, but what i found was that i was singing too quietly and picking up a lot of static. it's 3:00 am. could i hit that middle point? i dunno. i'd guess i probably could, actually. but, when i say that the guy upstairs is retarded, i'm not insulting him - he is actually mentally retarded. i've picked up a few of his problems over the last few years. probably the dominant one, insofar as it affects me, is that he imagines his own torture and gets stuck in these like masochistic loops. so, if he thinks he sees a bed bug once, he'll see bed bugs everywhere for months afterwards. i'm pretty sure that the reason he has the a/c on in december is that he walked down here once in july and thought it was warm. and if he hears me once in the middle of the night, he will think he hears me every night for the rest of his life.

i can't pretend that this premise upsets me. i just don't want to deal with it.

i'll get the vocals done tomorrow afternoon when i get back. baby steps...

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

i initially unpublished everything because i wanted to rebuild sequentially without skipping anything or finishing anything out of order. with the imminent completion of my second record, i've now caught up to the point where i'm mostly going to be writing liner notes for the next 40 or so releases.

that is not to say that i have now comprehensively completed my discography up to 2003. that would be untrue. but, the general shape of it is clear, and further modifications will be minor. i have every reason to think that i will push through the next phase very quickly and be back to working on "new" material within a few months.

as the liner notes are incomplete, take them with a grain of salt. some of the numbers are wrong. and, in fact, some of the following numbers will change, too.

what has been republished this evening is as follows (numbers best guess until i get there):

Sunday, December 4, 2016

and, we need another update, i think.

near the end of the day on wednesday, i decided that something had to break in the temperature down here, so i turned the heat down while the window was open. i spent the entire day thursday trying to get the thermostat in here to 15 degrees.

i just felt i needed to reset it. these electronic heaters seem to rely more on a relative concept of temperature than an absolute one, and i've come to not trust them as a result of it. you need to recalibrate scales every once in a while. i think that's the right way to think about it. and, i think it was the right choice. but the day was lost...

i had an appointment on friday and spent the rest of the day grocery shopping. so, when i woke up today, i was picking up where i left off on tuesday.

i noticed that the files were too quiet, so i increased their volumes. and, i finished a mastering decision for the seventh track. it sounds like a small amount of work, but it's actually quite large in the scheme of things.

i have re-uploaded 5, 6,7 and 11 with final mixes. i will need to re-upload 8,9,10 tomorrow or the next day. and, what remains is the vocal lead and a couple of undefined extras.

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

i think we need an update, here.

i've been refraining from uploading until i'm completely done. it wasn't supposed to take a long time. but, i've had to cycle back.

i slept on sunday night right after i posted. so, i tried to spend monday doing some real listening. this led me to the conclusion that the mix sounded flat, and i found a mastering error in the source file. but, it was a short day and i crashed quickly.

so, i tried to start the listening process again on tuesday morning with the corrected files and realized it still did not sound good. i spent the day remastering, and only got about halfway done.

i woke up today to more air quality issues and had to keep the windows open. it was also the end of the month, so i had bills to pay and the month to plan, broadly. i decided to keep the windows open all day to get air turned over, and focus on the concert schedule instead.

i've closed the windows, but the air quality remains poor, and i'm about to open them again. it seems like the day is likely lost. this is probably a net benefit, as it will give my ears time to rest.

Sunday, November 27, 2016

this is
the final section of the last proper inri demo, which was written as
somewhat of a suite, but only in a fleeting moment, and then forgotten.
it's a sort of sardonic take on the jesus story, in that it follows a
persecuted person through a suicide and a resurrection, with tongue in
cheek commentary.

initially, it was a song suite about being young and not listened to,
culminating in a rather dramatic overreaction - that i ridiculed as
counter-productive, partly by reference to kurt cobain, whose suicide is
an event that hangs over the childhood of my generation. people that
were adults at the time might want to think of it in the same way that
they interpreted watching kennedy get his brains blown out on live tv.
as i grew up (stated loosely - i was still 17/18, here), i realized this
is a general condition of society that is not limited to young people.
so, i generalized it to reflect the illusion of what we call
"democracy", and gave it an exaggerated persecution complex. the
cynicism was targeted at the clinton administration, but in a broader
sense i'm sort of ridiculing the rather cartoonish perception of
generation x as this kind of raelian mass of fatalist children....

my final vocal edit for viewless focused on a small part of the verse
and cut the chorus out altogether. i then distributed that small part
into the rest of the song by cutting into parts and pasting it in where i
wanted. this drops the more general commentary, which seems like an
anachronism, in favour of refocusing the listener on the direct
storyline of individual persecution. for suicide, i left the vocal track
largely in tact, except to remove the suicide note, which in hindsight
also seems like a giant distraction from the satirical storyline. what's
left is more direct.

i also want to note that there was a conscious decision to move to a
more recited vocal style on the 1999 rerecording (and subsequent 2016
reconstruction), rather than the screamy style that dominates the
initial 1996 demo. at the time, i considered screaming to be sort of
contrived and passe. the recitation is actually a very considered
reaction to something i interpreted as largely cartoonish. i was
certainly still heavily influenced by the screamy stuff i grew up with,
but it wasn't a characteristic of much of anything i was attracted to
after about '97 or so and actually something that i really wanted to
distance myself from.

i've pulled back from insisting on recited vocals in order to minimize
that contrivedness, but the truth is that the vast majority of music
released after about '97 that has screamed vocals very much *is*
contrived. time has only cemented my rejection of falsely emotionalized
vocals in punk-derived genres.

written and demoed from 1996-1999. initially constructed in this form in
january, 1999. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. compiled on nov
13, 2016. sequenced on nov 22-24, 2016 from parts that were rebuilt over
2013-2016. audio permanently closed on nov 24, 2016. release finalized
on nov 27, 2016. this is my second symphony; as always, please use
headphones.

section one ("epilag"): initially created in early 1999. remastered on nov 23, 2016.

section two ("viewless"): initially written in 1996. recreated over 1998
and finalized in dec, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013.
reclaimed july 19, 2015. corrected to control for malfunctioning
electronics on dec 29, 2015. sequenced nov 22, 2016. vocals added on nov
23, 2016. corrected to remove an errand click on nov 24, 2016.

section three ("anticipation"): background noise built in 1996. rebuilt
in late 1998. edited in late 2013. remastered on nov 24, 2016.

section four ("suicide"): initially written in 1996. recreated over 1998
and finalized in dec, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013.
reclaimed july 20, 2015. corrected to control for malfunctioning
electronics on dec 27, 2015. sequenced nov 22, 2016. vocals added on nov
23, 2016.

section five ("resurrection"): initially written and recorded on january 4, 1999.

this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also
eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all
phases of production (1996, 1998, 1999, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016).

this idea of a purely vocal compilation was
going to come up one way or another. i was toying with putting it at
the end of period 1, or even midway into period 2...

...but it
needs to be at the end of period 1.2 and i'm dropping it in right now.
it's not going to be completely done for a few days, as i need to
complete the new vocals for boogeyman and remaster too cold.

Saturday, November 26, 2016

i crashed on the first listen through, but i got some listening done when i woke up. i then lost pretty much the entire day to pulling shit out of my face and then running around in the afternoon. it was a long day, all in all - and i crashed long and hard. i've been trying to get going since about 6 am. i've done lots of ranting, at least...

i want to finish the write-up for inri019 before i eat and then at least finish inri020 by the end of the night. that would make it likely that i'll start editing on sunday night, with a potential upload date of tuesday or wednesday.

on some reflection, i've decided that if the aim is really to dissuade stalkers then the two week target is more appropriate because i tend to talk about what i'm doing a week or two in advance. i'm actually even considering moving it up to a month. if i make that decision, it will be in the new year.

for now, i'd say to expect the vlog for the 15th to come up at 00:30 on the 30th - and for me to hold to at least that kind of separation, moving forwards.

it turns out that i had a click in the track "viewless", and that it had been there from the start. when i finish this, i'm going to do a proper completion of the listening phase i aborted, previously. if i find further clicks, i will address them. but, i've been nulling regularly, so i think it's unlikely...

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

i spent all night fighting with the interference, and specifically ruling out various ways out of the problem. for example, i learned when the power went out that i have two circuits in the unit. is the wiring better, or the load lighter, on the other circuit? nothing worked.

i eventually got a few hours of clear listening in, but all the experience did was uphold my previous hypothesis: the interference is caused by a magnetic field that is generated by electrical usage in the neighbourhood. so, i need to mix when the neighbourhood goes quiet, until i can find some way to block the magnets.

today, that was from about 6:00-9:00 am. that was it. three hours...

i had to take a break to renew my prescription online. i'll be back offline again in a few minutes, and probably until it's done, this time.

as mentioned, there will be no vlogs edited or uploaded until this is completed.

i got a few more tracks up, now. all in all, that's 1-8 + 12. i don't think i'm going to need to listen much in order to complete the mixes for 13-17, which seems to be what i'm doing next (unless the interference subsides, unexpectedly. but i think i'm going to need to wait until at least after midnight.).

Monday, November 21, 2016

i'm back online because my tongue is tingling and i wanted to look it up. the technical explanation seems to be reduced blood flow to my lingual nerve. but it seems to have a large number of possible causes.

what it actually feels like is as though i have giant hair in my mouth. like, a foot long or something. i know there's nothing in there. there's also a mild taste of blood in my mouth.

i first noticed it when i just woke up at about 4 pm on the 20th but it was brief and minor. it's come back after eating.

the precise sensation ceases when i move it around and bathe it within saliva - it comes back when it dries. if it's tingling due to low blood flow, that makes sense.

i'm going to sit still until it passes. presuming it passes.

i spent the night constructing remixes for boogeyman, which is going to have a larger single than initially planned. and that's ok. we'll have to see what happens with my tongue before i determine what's going on with the rest of the day.

one of the things this is associated with is ms. again. everything is a symptom of ms. down the list. but, it could be anything. nerve damage. a blood clot. who knows...

i don't have any other symptoms, except some anxiety. no chest pains. the same mild background headache i've had all week.

i dunno. i know i don't want to have a seizure when i'm doing the dishes. so, i'm staying in bed until it passes.

the only thing i've been able to link it to is high usage periods in the neighbourhood. sunday morning? well, there's a church across the street...

i'm stuck for a few hours, at least. i'm mastering pre-recorded audio and need a stable signal. the fear is that i may end up cranking the treble because the interference is taking the highs out, thereby creating a tinny output.

i can get two or three minutes at a time by draining the cord. but, i need more than that to get any actual work done. and, it's coming back hard and with consistency. i'm stuck.

i have at least finalized the first four tracks. it's a start. i wish it was more. but, i'll have to wait until the power usage around me decreases before i can get back at it.

Saturday, November 19, 2016

i've got the album back on inri018 up, now. totally done.

i'm behind schedule, as always. i've been unexpectedly hungry the last few days. i dunno. but i need to eat again.

the next task is to sequence inri021 (the record) and i'll be heading offline to do it. if all goes well, i should have several completions through the next update - including a new lp and a new symphony.

this track
represents my first serious attempt to break out of the synth-pop sound
i'd been developing over the first half of 1998 and into the more epic
electro-noise-rock that defines the next period. while i'd been
careening in this direction the whole time, and the track is ultimately a
failed experiment, this is really the portal i go through that
ultimately opens the way for what follows.

conceptually, the track was initially meant to mock the news cycle; the
circus riff was tongue-in-cheek. you can imagine wolf blitzer and judy
woodruff getting out of their clown cars and reading their teleprompter,
type of thing. while i've eliminated the vocals from the official
release, and there were never any produced for the re-recording, the
bonus tracks are both early vocal mixes. it's admittedly hard to ignore
the conceptual history of the track in explaining why i have a punk song
built around the circus theme, but by the time i got to re-recording
the track in late 1998 i'd truly moved past the concept.

yet, i wanted to retain the musical ideas in the track and even take it
to a different level. the way the track is sequenced here retains a
memory of how i wanted the track to unfold into a lengthy, multi-part
epic separated by long sections of guitar-effects generated and
digitally shaped ambience. this is not just an idea that would resurface
in my next piece, my second symphony, but also something that would
follow me for my entire musical career. these collages are crude, but
this is where the idea first developed.

conceptual issues aside, i also had a lot of difficulty getting the
guitar tone i wanted for the track - a problem i really hadn't
previously had on this kind of scale. in hindsight, i think i'd just
become a little more aware of the tonal options in front of me. up to
this point, when i ran into the problem of the evasive tone, putting it
down for a few days and approaching it fresh solved it, but that wasn't
working. this track was dragging on for months. i was lost in
production...

then, out of the blue, there was a power outage that knocked my computer
out as i was running a part of the track through an ambient transform.
the track - and all the digital additions i had added to it - were
largely destroyed. what was left was this completely corrupted wave file
of disjointed guitar fragments. i've never been a religious person
(obviously), and i don't want to say i took at as a sign or something.
yet, i let chance assert itself; the corrupted wave file became the
final version of the track, and i moved on to the next thing.

the actual, proper track was then forgotten about for years. i'm only
finally dusting it off now, in 2016, and releasing it here as a single,
along with a collection of experimental collages that approximate what
the track was meant to sound like. this ep should really be thought of
as consisting of two versions of the song, separated by the two minutes
of silence after the fifth track. the track was abandoned for good
reason; the motif is silly. so, my frustrations with the composition
shall have to be recorded in the annals of time.

initially written in 1997. recreated and reconceptualized in late 1998.
salvaged somewhat at the end of 1999. remastered in 2013. compiled on
nov 13, 2016. finalized on nov 19, 2016. as always, please use
headphones.

if i knew it was going to take me a year and a half to get through this detour of remixing material from 1998, i'm not sure i would have taken it. i think the results speak for themselves: this was worthwhile. but, it was terribly time consuming, too.

a lot of the delay was the consequence of malfunctioning gear and environmental noise. i probably would have been dealing with the same problems, regardless.

i have finished the cover art for inri017. it is 100% completely done.

i've closed the audio for inri018. but, in the process of writing up the liner notes, i ended up publishing all of the remaining inri material - except the final sequence on the second lp, which i need to sequence the vocals out of.

Friday, November 18, 2016

these
three tracks were not initially connected in any way, other than being
the lead sequence on my second record. they are not even connected in
time: the first section was written in late 1997 around the ry30, the
second section was written in early 1997 around an octaver and the last
section was written in mid 1998 as a sound design experiment. however,
they've been connected together since they were sequenced together in
early 1999.

it was in early 2014 that i first got the idea of splitting the opening
sequence into it's own release, in order to upload the tracks together
to youtube. i eventually ruled against it as it didn't have a deep
enough conceptual unity to justify.

the idea has come back with the revisitation of my first period and the
construction of a series of experimental singles. for reasons of
chronology, it was somewhat necessary for me to release a single for
idiotic in the summer of 1998. but what made the single worthwhile to me
in this form was the ability to reversion the concept using the
different glitch mixes of the first and third tracks. the result is a
challenging and epic listen, and i hope you enjoy it.

--

section 2...

i was violently anti-tobacco in my teens. to an extent, i still am. but,
i was also largely just repeating things that had been said to me,
without the critical filter that comes with defining a sense of
individuality. i think we probably all remember a time when we repeated
things told to us by teachers, parents and the media without fully
thinking them through. we don't, however, all have demos of songs that
we wrote before we'd come to understand who we really are, as
individuals.

looking back at the initial recording, i mostly just wish that i had
articulated myself a little bit better. i never dropped my opposition to
tobacco, not even when i was a smoker. i'm not sure that i ever really
even admitted to myself that i was a smoker. so, i don't want to
distance myself particularly far from the basic crux of my opinion that
smoking tobacco is really pretty stupid - i never really altered that
opinion. what i do want to distance myself from is some of the precise
language and arguments that i used, as they are not reflective of my own
thoughts.

for example, i wouldn't present the health care argument. first, i'm a
strong advocate of universal health care. second, the accounting
underlying the idea is not well defined, and difficult to construct.
third, i reject the entire concept of currency. nor do i think we'd have
to make resource-based decisions about health care if it weren't for
the limits provided by currency. so, i'm retracting that statement -
along with many others.

by the time i got to recording a second version of the track in mid
1998, i'd smoked a few other things and enjoyed them. a purely
anti-tobacco song no longer seemed all that relevant to me; more
relevant to me was a song comparing marijuana use to tobacco use. so, i
hid the vocals through a very heavy vocoder effect and piled a lot of
silly samples, many about marijuana, on top of the track. it stayed that
way for almost fifteen years.

when i sat down to remaster in late 2013, removing samples was a
dominant priority. thankfully, i actually had an archived instrumental
version from back in 1998. this allowed me to replace the track with
only minimal editing.

there were continuity reasons why i went with the sample version the
first time around, but it was against my better judgement, even then. i
should have followed my gut.

-

section 1...

i had earlier recorded a vocal version of this, but i had the good sense
to realize it was awful and replaced the vocal parts with synth
sections, creating an electronic/ambient piece with a liberal use of
noise. it's admittedly a little elevator-music sounding, but i think
that's sort of part of it's charm. it's very precious sounding.

this is one of my favourite early pieces. i used to just sit and play
the simple guitar outro, with drum loop in my sennheiser 440-IIs, for
hours at a time...

the decision to remove the vocals on this track was largely a reflection
of my growing confidence in the quality of the music to stand up on
it's own. over the '98-'99 period, i was largely aware of how
cringeworthy my lyrics were and put them into three overlapping
categories: (1) comedy/satire, in which case i let them stand as they
were, (2) cries for help, in which case i upheld them as they were
hoping somebody would listen, (3) songs that i had no lyrical idea for
but that i felt needed lyrics, in which case i felt trapped by the genre
conventions and upheld ideas that i truly didn't even like at the time
simply so the songs would have vocals. over time, i eventually got to
the point where i had enough confidence in the music that i no longer
felt that the songs required lyrics, and i started to look at it as
something to use sparingly based on whether i actually had an idea to
express. while there are definitely songs in this period that i wish i
had kept instrumental versions of, the final mixes only include a couple
with lyrics that i actively regret. this is the first time i was able
to mentally push back against myself and say "no. this song does not
need lyrics.".

--

section 3...

this is what it sounds like when you open dlls with a wave editor. there
was some strategic reshaping, but that's where the bulk of the sound
comes from.

--

initially written over the course of 1997. recreated and expanded over
the course of 1998. lead track first sequenced in this form in feb,
1999. further remixes generated over the course of 1999. a failed rescue
was attempted in 2013, and another in late 2015. remastered in
november, 2016 from various sources, 1997-2015. finalized on nov 17,
2016. as always, please use headphones.

Thursday, November 17, 2016

my period 1.2 singles are getting more and more absurd as the period closes, but that's a reflection of the material - and largely what i've wanted all along. this is climaxing well...

inri017 is now closed, audio-wise. i'll be writing liner notes this morning.

the release is dated to aug 5, 1998 and picks up where the first record left off, in the push towards combining lush, ambient soundscapes with very harsh types of noise. the proper release, the first four tracks, is the first three tracks from the second record sequenced four different ways - because i had that many mixes of each of the tracks.

Monday, November 14, 2016

i have a monitor!

i guess it was last tuesday that i wanted to
catch up and then put it all on hold until i finished period 1.2. that's
going to be tonight, now. back to work either late tonight or, more
likely, first thing tomorrow.﻿

also, i forgot to update this space saturday night / sunday morning with the new releases:

1) inri017 is tentatively finished, except for the first track:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/the-harsh-truth-is-that-only-idiots-wish-for-happiness

Saturday, November 12, 2016

....but i have
a very small space for a monitor on my desk. i want something in the
13-15 inch neighbourhood. the smallest i can find is 20 inches. very
frustrating.

on the one hand, i'd rather get something used for
environmental reasons. on the other hand, i realize it probably won't
last very long. but, if i can't find a small enough monitor new, i'll
have no choice but to get a used one.﻿

why is this hard? i haven't had a job in a few years, but you wouldn't
expect to walk into an office and see a row of 27 inch monitors. that
would just be an absurd waste of space.﻿

i'm a musician. i don't need a big monitor. i need a monitor, but it
doesn't have to be big. and, conserving desk space is of far greater
importance...

it's a power issue. but, i haven't given up on it yet - or at least not for now. i suppose i'll need to get a new monitor around christmas. sale days are soon, right?

i became convinced that i couldn't get it to power on because it had cooled down, so i cranked the heat in the studio up. this worked. but, the result is that the monitor had it's mind blown out, or something - it's become a fucking vegetable.

i get an immediate flush of white light, followed by a fade to grey and then a black pattern fading back in. it stops when the screen goes all black. and, it's repeatably demonstrable - so long as i don't let the monitor cool down too much. so, wtf?

i am confident the other components are functioning. it seems to be a regulation issue. and i don't know if it will resolve itself or not.

i know that, if it does, then i'll leave the monitor on, no matter how hot it gets.

what if it doesn't come back?

well, the only other monitor that i have is my tv, which should in theory receive a signal. the thing is that i'd need to set it up first, which means i need a monitor out. if it comes back, that will be a high priority. i cannot swap video cards because the studio pc does not have a legacy pci in. so, i will be unable to use that computer.

i spent some time this afternoon backing up my music drive via a sata-to-usb bridge, and now have everything i was working on accessible from the laptop. this should hold me for a few days, worst case. but, i cannot connect either laptop to my sound card (no firewire ports....) and resolving that would be more expensive than a new monitor.

there is only one possible path, and that is to connect the soundcard to the living room pc with the tv as the monitor, which probably means moving it into the recording room. this is the only other firewire connection that i have access to. but, the specs are arguably too weak.

it will be worth a try, at least. if it doesn't work, i'll just have to wait until i get a new monitor.

Friday, November 11, 2016

my monitor is out again...

i cycled it yesterday and it was fine, so i turned it off until i could go back in. it was hot and hissing. but, it's not coming back on. so, if i can get it back on, i'm never going to turn it off again....

i'm going to wait until the morning before i decide to move the tv back in or not. i guess i'm filing for the night, in the mean time.

that was a disappointing weekend, but i can't do anything but move forwards.

i think the short term solution for the smell down here is going to be to keep the door closed for the bathroom, along with the window open. i'm convinced that they've essentially got the furnace exhausting into the vent, and it's depositing shit into the bathroom. yeah. fucking idiots.

i would estimate a near zero probability of convincing them of this, but i think i should be able to force them to install a carbon monoxide detector, which i'm going to hope is also a natural gas detector. and i'll go from there.

for right now, my head is feeling better. but i have an appointment this afternoon, so i'm not going to get anything started today until i come back.

so, it took a few tries for me to wake up this morning. bad air? apparently. it's at least nice enough to have the windows open and the heat down....

so, how am i doing this?

i'm going to work in the order of the record and slowly spin off eps. there will be no write-ups or anything of the sort just quite yet - that will happen at the end of the process, when i sit down and close them one by one, just like last time.

this one isn't done yet, but likely will be within a few hours.

"there is the actual remastered lead track & an early version coming. i'm not sure yet if i want the early version from cd-r or from mp3. the mp3 may have better dynamics; i may have run the cd-r through a normalization process. immediate purchases will have to re-down in the near future.

i cannot reclaim this from tape, but i had sufficient source material for a reasonable reconstruction."

i'll have plenty to say about this when the time comes. but, for now, this is inri017 in an embryonic form.

i'm in the dangerous circumstance of not being able to tell if the smell is from a gas leak or from the pollution outside. i'm keeping the windows closed despite the headache; i'm waiting until the weather comes up a little, so i can see if the smell dissipates with the pollution. if i get light-headed, i'll have to open them.

i'm going to get something to eat and then get mixing. today must be productive. and i think it will be.

Friday, November 4, 2016

i'm crashing a little earlier than i wanted to again. the air quality down here is bad. headaches. stomach aches. so, i have the windows open. but, it's not like it's a short day, really - i was up at 1:30 am.

i have a tentative mix for the lead single for the record done, but i'm going to sequence the entire record before i drop any singles. it just has to do with the rational way to remaster the tracks. the singles are going to be a little rough, eq wise - they all are. but, the record needs to flow properly. that's going to mean ensuring everything blends well.

i already have reconstructions for most of the tracks, so the task is primarily to build the segues. and i think this should actually be fairly quick.

so, the record will no doubt come up before the singles do, and then i'll have to go back and reconstruct. that's fine.

right now, i need at least a nap. it's pointless to try and mix tired.

there is a clear gas leak upstairs, so i'm stuck with the windows open and the fans on and the heat up until they fix it. they put a gas furnace in upstairs to save money. so, i'm hoping that wasting money pisses them off enough that they fix it. and, i don't have any empathy, either. moving from clean electricity to dirty natural gas was a step backwards, and i hope they do pay for it. in the mean time, this may have the effect of slowing me down due to temperature issues. i may need to turn the machine off. we'll have to see.

ok. so, i'm shutting the browser down and heading to the other room. i think i should get a rough idea of inri017 planned out by the night, at least.

i'm going to have to do a mild remix to balance it out. i remastered the second part of it for inriclamed, but it was already instrumental, and the source was corrupt. the first part didn't get touched at all - and iirc the source is incomplete. what that means is that i have the task of resplicing a few files that are basically already dealt with. but, i'm going to be thorough.

Thursday, October 27, 2016

i also need to take note of this before i move to inri017. sort of. this
is actually what i did between inri017 and inri018, but the track that i
contributed to it was done in july. so, i'm going to post it now....

i'm
not labeling or distributing this because it's not my release. but, the
full track (not the edit, here) ends up released on a covers disc dated
to the end of 1999.

the
backstory is connected to a covers compilation put together by
cleopatra records called "hymns of the warlock", as well as a remix
compilation put together by nettwerk records called "remix dystemper".
this compilation was put together between the releases of those two
compilations.

the easiest thing to say is simply that there were
always two different types of skinny puppy fans, related to a now
historical split in electronic music between those who preferred "ebm"
(that is electronic booty/body music) and "idm" (intelligent dance
music). ebm is only reasonably listened to in clubs because it's
simplistic and repetitive; idm is the kind of thing you put on when
you're doing homework or reading a book. the separation has been much
maligned, but it is intuitively obvious that there are some types of
electronic music that do not have much depth (and yet are fun to dance
to) and some types of electronic music with dozens of layers to
disentangle (and may be less danceable), so i see little point in
getting silly about it. skinny puppy existed in a middle point; they
always had the ability to attract both audiences because their music was
both highly danceable and yet also in an art rock and political/punk
rock tradition. this is not unique within electronic music, but it *is*
rare. they're not considered to be the high point of electronic art
music in the modern era for no reason.

throughout the 90s, skinny
puppy fans connected with each other and discussed various topics over
the epilogue internet mailing list. within this list, there was much
derision directed at the cleopatra compilation due to it's
over-representation of the ebm side of the band's sound. the more
musically inclined members of the list claimed they could put together a
better record, were challenged to do so and eventually did.

i
was a fairly recent addition to the list and volunteered for
distribution for the sole reason that i had the tools to do so (cd
burners were still relatively rare in 1998). the cover art was put
together by other members of the list and sent to me for reproduction.

while
i would argue that the disc more accurately represents the experimental
aspect of the band than either of the officially released compilations
did, i listen to it now and wish i would have been more selective. the
reality is that i didn't really have the standing necessary in the list
(you have to have an understanding of 90s internet communications to get
that, i guess) to act as a filter on material coming in. nor did i
receive enough material to have the luxury of cutting tracks. there's
some interesting remixes/reconstructions, but some of it is very
blatantly the work of amateur musicians. i should also point out that i
considered some of those amateur musicians to be my friends.

it's
up here, as is, for listening ears. should either of the kevins express
an opposition to this (i doubt that, but i am not able to tap into
their consciousnesses from a distance), they own it and get to make the
choices.

this is something i did between inri demos. i needed a break from structured writing. just wanted to make some noise...

i suppose this is the biggest sample collage of them all, but it's best
not to take it too seriously. the idea here eventually morphed into a
project called "fuel true anarchy in the americas" (jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/ftaa), a play on the ftaa trade agreement, which itself got toned down in scope.

there's everything from science docs to hitler in here. it's meant to be
a passive trip through real and imaginary time that is experienced with
the aid of psychedelic drugs, rather than any kind of political
statement. it's quite consciously absurd, often juxtaposing ironic
statements with their contradictions.

the core of the ambience was produced by a program called sound raider. i
then took the sound it created and shaped it by adding in vocal
samples, looping certain parts, running things through effects,
sequencing the noise into a more melodic shape, etc. it's consequently a
sort of a collaboration between myself and the machine, rather than the
work of the machine itself.

no sane person could really listen to this passively. you basically *need* drugs to get anything out of this at all.

...and i think i'm probably the only person that ever experienced it properly. hey, it's never too late...

created in the summer of 1998. released as a standalone ep on nov 16,
2013. audio permanently closed on oct 12, 2016. release finalized on oct
27, 2016. as always, please use headphones.

Wednesday, October 26, 2016

that was an unexpected detour, but it came out of the process of closing inri015 and i do think it was necessary and productive. that is the first two aleph discs. there will be a third up on the inriched disc, relatively soon - but that's the disc i'm turning over to.

i'm on try #4 in a row for an all nighter tonight, and i think i'm kind of required to do it, as i have some shopping to do in the morning. i need to finish the liner notes for aleph-1, then get something to eat and should finish the liner notes for inri016 by the end of the night, too. i may get started on inri017.

inri017 is largely about compiling existing sources. i do not think i have any actual remixing of any tracks to do.

flac dvd containing material originally recorded from 1997-1998 and
completed between 2013 and 2016. inri003-inri007, inri009,
inri011-inri015, inri030, inri046 & extras. numbered with a cd
printer and shipped in a jewel case. inriℵ1.

/extras:- original loose mp3s from 1997 & 1998- flac cd-r rip of original 1998 version of inri015- 320 kbps mp3s of failed 2013 remaster of inri015- phantom of the opera (washing machine mix)

total disc size is 4.607 gb.total running time of official releases is 12:30:11.absolute total running time is 16:14:57.

purchasing this release comes with the immediate download of inri015 only.

inri003:
created in mid 1997. sequenced and converted to stereo in november,
2013. released on nov 9, 2013. corrected in september, 2014. finalized
on july 5, 2016.

inri004: originally written in 1997 and first
created in 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. finally
reconstructed in the summer of 2015 and extrapolated upon over the first
half of 2016. released on july 4, 2016. finalized on july 5, 2016.

inri005:
initially written in 1997. recreated in jan, 1998. a failed rescue was
attempted in 2013. reclaimed july 1, 2015. deconstructed dec 18, 2015.
released on jan 4, 2016. finalized on july 6, 2016. lead track added and
refinalized july 20, 2016.

inri006: originally created in 1998. a
failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reconstructed in the summer of
2015 and then manipulated further in the summer of 2016. released &
finalized on july 7, 2016. hidden track added and re-finalized on july
18, 2016.

inri007: initially written in 1997. recreated in feb,
1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed july 5, 2015.
remixed july 12, 2015. electronics added on july 16, 2015. released on
jan 4, 2016. sequenced on jan 6-8, 2016. finalized on july 10, 2016.
hidden track added and refinalized on july 21, 2016.

inri009:
initially written in 1994. first full recording in 1996. recreated in
mar, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed &
remixed on july 18, 2015. released jan 5, 2016. sequenced jan 6-8, 2016.
finalized on july 20, 2016.

inri011: originally created in
april, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed july 4,
2015. remixed july 15, 2015. vocals added jan 6, 2016. released on jan
6, 2016. finalized on july 23, 2016.

inri012: initially written
in 1996. recreated in the spring of 1998. a failed rescue was attempted
in 2013. reclaimed june 29, 2015. corrected to control for
malfunctioning electronics on nov 26, 2015. sequenced on jan 10, 2016.
released & finalized on july 24, 2016.

inri013: written and
demoed from 1994-1998. initially constructed in this form in june, 1998.
a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. sequenced on jan 6-7, 2016 from
parts that were rebuilt over 2013-2016. released jan 7, 2016. finalized
on july 29, 2016. symph001.

inri014: initially written in 1996.
recreated mostly in feb, 1998 (schizoid, terrorists) but also partly in
june, 1998 (abusive). sequenced in this form in june, 1998. a failed
rescue was attempted in 2013. "terrorists" was reclaimed june 28-29,
2015 & remixed july 15, 2015. the main mix was corrected on nov 19,
2015. "schizoid" was reclaimed on july 12, 2015 & reprogrammed on
dec 31, 2015. the main mix was corrected on jan 3, 2016 and remixed
repeatedly jan 3-5, 2016. the lead track was sequenced on jan 5, 2016
and split back apart on jan 8, 2016. released on jan 5, 2016. audio
permanently closed on aug 1, 2016. release finalized on oct 9, 2016.

inri015:
written and demoed in multiple stages from 1994-1998. initially
constructed in this form in june, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in
dec, 2013. reconstructed and resequenced jan 6-10, 2016 from parts that
were rebuilt over 2013-2016. re-released jan 10, 2016. audio
permanently closed on aug 10, 2016. finalized on oct 10, 2016. lp001.

inri046: written
june, 1998. reimagined june, 2001. slightly rearranged and re-rendered
at the end of july, 2014. released july 24, 2016. rearranged again at
the end of may, 2015 and one last time at the beginning of jan, 2016.
audio not yet permanently closed. release not yet finalized.

originally
created from 1996-1998. this compilation is dated to june 21, 1998.
slowly remastered, reconstituted, compiled, reconstructed, released and
finalized from 2013-2016. compilation finalized on oct 26, 2016. as
always, please use headphones.creditsreleased June 21, 1998

i'm rethinking my aleph-discs and introducing a flac disc of inri000-inri014 as inriℵ0. this is 13 hours and will run for $130. i'm also bringing in an inriℵ1 around inri015 that will be 10 hours and run for $100.

these are the new rules. until i make different ones. but, with the discography stabilizing, i think this is likely final. the fact that i'm making it flexible also means it's like final, unless i start noticing patterns and just lock some prices into place.

the idea behind the aleph discs is that they're dvd sized torrents. that's what people do nowadays, right? they just download torrents. well, here's a kind of concept of how much these torrents ought to actually cost, if split into dvd-sized chunks of data.

and, who would buy these? it's not going to be long before i have some mp3-dvds up for well over $200. wtf? well, think of it like this - i'm giving you the opportunity to send me money in a larger chunk of cash than $7. it's a donation to an artist. you have to think of it like that. and, have you seen what people pay for ink blots?

i think there's a kind of deeper concept to this, too, though. the internet is eliminating the music market, which is going to force artists to rely on larger donations. the future is probably not spotify because nobody gets paid. it probably looks more like this.

releases are categorized conceptually, rather than by length.
there are 70 minute eps and 65 minute records.

compilation formats (dvd, bd) will be priced at $10/hour of music.
so, a 7.5 hour dvd flac disc will be priced at $75.
i've been unable to derive a flat pricing that makes sense.

types of compilation discs will be:
- dvd flac "box sets" of all singles around an lp. max 10 hours.
- dvd/bd flac "period discs" of all releases in a period.
- dvd/bd mp3/flac compilation discs are a running chronological total with no overlap.

note that flac is higher quality than mp3.
therefore, mp3 discs contain more music.
pricing is relative to length, only.
be sure to purchase what you WANT.

shipping:
$5 - can
$10 - us/intl

shipping rates are flat to the max, meaning i may gain slightly but i
won't lose on shipping. it's otherwise about $3 to make a package. 20%
of the sale price goes to transaction fees. this is as cheap as it can
be while still being worthwhile to produce. if you buy a very large
package (five cds or more), shipping will come down substantially and
i'll contact you to talk about ways to make it more fair.

for right now, all discs will have planned limited edition, numbered
handmade runs and will be made on demand up to 5000 copies sold, at
which point they will be professionally pressed without numbers.

if you want me to send you something twice, you'd better be able to prove it got lost. there will be very few exceptions. sorry.

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

i made it to the post office yesterday, only to realize that it was thanksgiving in canada...

caddywhompus was last night. solid. they didn't play last, though. there was a band called "mover shaker" that played last and also delivered a very strong set.

i got the package out today.

fwiw, i haven't really slept in two days. there was a short nap yesterday before the show (2:30-5:30, much of it awake) and a short nap this morning (3:00-6:30) that i expected to be sleep, but didn't take. i woke up about 9 pm on the 9th.

that's ok - i love this, actually. i like these long, winding days. and, they make for good vlogs. but i do prefer them to be a tad more productive. hey, the concert in the middle is pretty cool, right?

i'm going to have another long day starting thursday night and taking me all the way to saturday afternoon. two concerts. a bus ride to lansing. life is good.

for however long today lasts for, and for tomorrow, i need to do a lot of loose ends. budgets. cleaning. editing.

i promised i was getting back on track, and i will be starting on sunday. i don't expect to get anything done the rest of the week.

it took eighteen years and multiple attempts at a construction, but this
record is finally permanently completed as an instrumental electronic
work and i am finally proud to refer to it as my first record.

while
most of these songs have defined concepts underlying them, i have
ejected these concepts from the final recording and left them in a
series of singles. i would prefer that this album be understood solely
as the instrumental recording of electronic music that i am presenting
it as.

written and demoed in multiple stages from 1994-1998.
initially constructed in this form in june, 1998. a failed rescue was
attempted in 2013. reconstructed and resequenced jan 6-10, 2016 from
parts that were rebuilt over 2013-2016. audio permanently closed on aug
10, 2016. finalized on oct 10, 2016. this is my first official record;
as always, please use headphones.

the original, unaltered files
are also available (along with the original 1998 cd sequence, the failed
2013 remasters and the final reconstructions - all in flac) as 112 kbps
mp3s, as i found them, on inriℵ0:
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/merch/inri-box-set

this
release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also
eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all
phases of production (1996, 1997, 1998, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016).
credits
released June 20, 1998

Sunday, October 9, 2016

i'm moving slower than i'd like, but here's the first one, anyways:

--

this single was created by running tracks 9,10 and 11 on the cd
together; it was never meant to be a unified track. 9 and 11 are proper
tracks, whereas 10 is an experimental segue directly into 11. the
process of compiling singles kind of accidentally led to this
construction as a very natural combination and i'm now very content with
it as the permanent home for both of these pieces.

these songs
were both always musically driven, with kind of throwaway vocals that i
don't really have any meaningful analysis for. neither of these tracks
was ever conceptual or confessional or ever meant much to me on a
personal level, so they don't have the kind of stories or explanations
that the other tracks that were important to me do. i have not remixed
the vocals into either of these songs; all of the tracks on the physical
release are entirely instrumental. why bother releasing a single, then?

the
reason is that i ended up with a number of mixes for both of them and
just needed a place to house them. of course, that's not actually any
kind of an interesting concept to build a single around. it was
precisely because there was no retained concept underlying either of
these tracks that the singles seemed pointless. but, once they were
connected via the segue, the purpose of a single became readily apparent
in that connection, itself.

the decision was sealed by a curious
synchronicity in time. they were both originally written for the 1996
cassette demo, and separated there by a guitar/bass cover of "mellon
collie and the infinite sadness". the entanglement is probably not
entirely coincidental; i have a vague recollection of checking the tape
to ensure i didn't forget any songs, and i may very well have repeated
recording them in succession for that reason. however that happened to
be, the synchronicity is a big part of what allowed me to create this ep
the way that i've created it as it allowed me to label demo versions of
the track with the same title.

while neither of these tracks
have meaningful vocals, they are both important in my musical
development. schizoid features my first multi-part string accompaniment
and terrorists is a serious step forward in harmonic complexity. even
the segue (titled "abusive") is something different: it's my first run
at a 909 emulator, and a step out to lunch in abstract sound design.

so,
as the last piece completed for my first record, this is somewhat of a
portal to transit through, in terms of the developing complexity in my
compositional abilities. but, it does not and never did have any
worthwhile conceptual meaning to me. as such, there is no story to tell.

initially written in 1996.
recreated mostly in feb, 1998 (schizoid, terrorists) but also partly in
june, 1998 (abusive). sequenced in this form in june, 1998. a failed
rescue was attempted in 2013. "terrorists" was reclaimed june 28-29,
2015 & remixed july 15, 2015. the main mix was corrected on nov 19,
2015. "schizoid" was reclaimed on july 12, 2015 & reprogrammed on
dec 31, 2015. the main mix was corrected on jan 3, 2016 and remixed
repeatedly jan 3-5, 2016. the lead track was sequenced on jan 5, 2016
and split back apart on jan 8, 2016. audio permanently closed on aug 1,
2016. release finalized on oct 9, 2016. as always, please use
headphones.

the album version of this track appears on my first record:
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inri-3

this release is compiled on inriℵ0.
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/merch/inri-box-set

this
release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also
eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all
phases of production (1996, 1998, 2013, 2015, 2016).

i got some sleep yesterday, and this was good. i'm unfortunately a little slow transferring over, as i have some conservatives trying to win an argument with me on youtube (they're persistent, anyways). these are trained propagandists. i can tell by the talking points. they're trying to talk me into caring about deficits, but i frankly don't think they even realize how wrong what they're saying is. if they did, they'd just give up.

--

this individual was (is, i guess) a fiscal conservative. he insisted i
take a position that defends the liberal party of ontario. what he was
trying to do was constrain the discussion to a "legitimate debate"
between liberals and conservatives.

but, i am not a liberal - i
am a socialist. and, i was resisting this attempt to "legitimize" the
discussion by avoiding his bait as long as i could.

i
accidentally took the bait, and there wasn't a way out. but, i need to
be clear: i didn't want to have this debate. it's not a topic i'm
interested in. and, it's very hard for me to have these debates because
i'm so far to the left that i constantly have to redefine terms with any
opponent.

the bit about money being an artificial construct, for
example. i understand his point, from his perspective. but, if you
reject the concept of money, my position does follow.

you might
suggest that i have no business having a detailed policy discussion
about the liberal party's budget if i reject the concept of money - to
which i would respond that i didn't want to have that discussion in the
first place.

if this was in real life, i would have gotten up and
walked away. you can't do that online. you can't ignore somebody. you
have to block them.

--

it was a long exchange, and it took me all day and now i'm hungry again :\. i hadn't eaten in a few days, and filled my stomach up quickly so i only had half what i usually eat...

but, i am going to be back to finishing the write-ups for inri014 and inri015 by the end of the night. i plan to ship in the morning...