RANT OF THE MONTH: ANNOYING EBAY TWATS

This month, the Angry Man has been getting mostly pissed off about… those annoying dicks on a well known auction website…

“COLLECTION ONLY AS TOO BULKY TO POST! HI MATE, CAN YOU GIVE ME A QUOTE FOR SENDING THE ITEM TO UZBEKISTAN? NO MATE, BUT CAN I GIVE YOU A SLAP IN THE MOUTH?”

eBay is a godsend for buying parts, or other stuff for that matter. I mean is there anything that isn’t available on the auction site? I bought a spare part for my mum’s tumble dryer the other day – and that thing is older than my grandad.

But when you want to sell something… Well, that’s when everyone who contacts you thinks it’s their god-given right to become the world’s most ignorant bellend. It’s as if they choose to ignore specific descriptions in the listing. “Cash only” obviously means, “Can I pay you with stamps?” And “part exchange” obviously translates as, “Do you wanna swap it for my Dacia Sandero?”

These people seem to be at their worst when ‘buying’ a car, when it apparently becomes totally acceptable for them to send offers that aren’t even half the car’s value. “Hello mate, would you take £450, TODAY, for your one-owner Audi R8?” Erm NO! I wouldn’t take £450 for one of its fucking wheels, but thanks for the oh-so generous offer!

If you’re one of these bellends, please take yourself off to a dark room and have a serious word with yourself!

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed herein are not necessarily those of Fast Car or the publisher. If this has caused offence. Please go fu… (oi stop that! – Glenn)