Reliable forecast: his foster-father Fidel is due to join him soon. And his tio Raul too. The only good thing about death is that bad guys are not immune to it.

Anyway…. the big news: Venenozuelan vice-president Nicolas “Saddamito” Maduro announced late this afternoon that Hugo Chavez is dead. Earlier in the day he had charged that Hugo Chavez’s fatal illness was caused by “the enemies of the fatherland.”

“Without a doubt, he was attacked,” said Maduro. “It was all planned by a national and international conspiracy.” Maduro also assured his Venezuelan audience that “at the right moment in history” a “scientific commission” will someday get to the bottom of this crime.

As far as the “conspiratorial plans” of the enemies of the fatherland are concerned, the heir apparent to the throne of Caracastan warned that he is taking “special measures” against all “destabilizing projects.” To prove his point, he announced the expulsion of David del Mónaco, an American diplomat engaged in nefarious ‘destabilizing’ activities.

Turning to the subject of Chavez’s condition, Maduro launched into what can only be interpreted as a quasi-eulogy and a foreshadowing of the divinization process that is about to be unleashed on Venenozuela as soon as Chavez’s death is officially announced.

“He is facing his most difficult hours,” said Maduro about Chavez , preparing Chavistas for the worst. Referring to serious complications of a pulmonary sort, the heir apparent went on to say that Chavez was in a “very delicate state.” A few hours later, he announced that El Caudillo was dead.

Referring to Chavez as “the great redeemer of our fatherland,” Maduro praised him for “having dedicated the best years of his life” to his native land, “even from the time when he was still almost a little boy.”

Yes, he is already being turned into a Messiah. No news yet on the reaction from the 60% of the Venezuelan population that firmly believed that Chavez would recover and assume the presidency again.

I can’t get this tune out of my head —
Ding Dong! The Prick is dead. Which old Prick? The Wicked Prick!
Ding Dong! The Wicked Prick is dead.
Wake up – sleepy head, rub your eyes, get out of bed.
Wake up, the Wicked Prick is dead. He’s gone where the goblins go,
Below – below – below. Yo-ho, let’s open up and sing and ring the bells out.
Ding Dong’ the merry-oh, sing it high, sing it low.
Let them know!

And yes, it’s Evita redux, if they can pull it off. The ponderous, bombastic, cheesy vulgarity and mendacity of these people is surreal, because one simply cannot believe they’re really THAT far over the top and over the line, as if the world consisted of cretinous morons who’d simply open their mouths and swallow any BS fed to them. Alas, to a very significant extent, the Latrine world fits that description, which is why it’s been falling for the same recycled bunk ad nauseam. Truly pathetic.