Be kind to yourselfWhat does being kind to yourself encompass ? I belief if we need to care for ourselves on all levels : mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. How much are we aware of what we need, are we tuned into ourselves ? Our body will always tell us what we need, that means being conscious of our inner lives, our bodies. Even when we are with people who are negative or unpleasant our bodies will feel something not quite aligned. Depending on how in touch we are with ourselves, it could be very faint, but it will be there. On some deeper level we just feel we would rather not be with such people ( but then again that is if we value ourselves if we feel deserving of being with positive and pleasant people ) removing ourselves from company that is detrimental is a positive move, of course it takes courage, but if you can do it, you will definitely feel better about yourself. So that is a kindness to yourself.What about leisure time, do you take time, even with a hectic schedule to give yourself the pleasure of doing what gives you satisfaction. Sometimes it is so good and necessary to relax on the sofa with a cup of tea and a good magazine. Many women feel guilty to do this. Unfortunately we will often be told that we are selfish if we take time for us, when that means depriving someone else of our time. If we say “No I don’t want to do that,” we could very possibly be labelled selfish. But I truly belief and know that the more kind we are to ourselves the more kindness we can bestow on others. Our thoughts are an integral part of us, some say we have something like 60 000 thoughts per day on average. What do they contain ? There can be kind thoughts or critical, judgmental, harsh and negative thoughts about ourselves. This is a choice, and I know it is difficult to changes dark thoughts to light thoughts when we are not in the habit. But I also know we can do it, with a lot of practice and a good dose of kindness to ourselves.I believe that people who are truly benevolent are those who are kind to themselves on some level. We do need to differentiate between the above and those who show kindness because they want to be liked as people or they want to be seen as kind or good people. We could remind ourselves and ask ourselves on a regular basis “Am I kind to myself in this moment ?”Antoinette Steenkamp

Thank you for your article on kindness, it is so true, I often feel guilty when taking pleasure in activities that is so called not "useless". But as you were saying, there is importance in that.
Probably my wife would have a better husband in me if I would allow myself to practice kindness to myself.

Reply

Johnathan

4/17/2011 04:36:19 pm

It is very easy to forget the importance of being kind to yourself. Antoinette's words are a gentle reminder that being kind to others starts with being kind to ourselves first!
Thank you for this!