“Unless I see the nail marks in his hands, I will not believe.”

Why is it that some do not believe? Certainly we do not have the luxury to see with our eyes or to put our hands in His nail pierced hands.

The Jews that ruled Jerusalem, and many like them still to this day, did and do not believe in Jesus because He was nothing like they had imagined. Others, including various religions do not seem to believe because He doesn’t fit what their vision of a King should be.

I’ve seen many that have accepted Christ at a young age in a Christian home, while they were still innocent in their minds and belief, become involved in public education and or start struggling with an issue like homosexuality (which scripture speaks against) and then renounce their faith.

Though I was raised in a Christian home of sorts, I did not understand or receive Christ until I was older at 22 years old. I say of sorts, because what was taught at church did not seem to affect the day to day life of my family and they never shared their understanding of Christ with me personally.

As I got older, I started struggling. The first day of fifth grade was really bad, but it was just throwing bad upon bad. Threw the years I became more and more lost. At 19, I got involved in homosexuality for over three years. It became apparent to me one day that I was searching. I put my hand on my heart and said one day, “I have a void in my heart that I just can’t seem to fill.” I had been going from relationship to relationship trying to fill what I later learned was a God shaped hole.

At that time, I had a married couple reaching out to me. Nothing about homosexuality or God, just friendship, but they clearly had something I did not have and I couldn’t figure it out. Through all my searching, I was open. Thankfully, I was not being presented with one of the many other beliefs that seem to be everywhere: Unitarianism, Gay Christianity through the MCC, and the list is endless.

I was hanging around Christians and they were loving on me. I did not need to see some proof of Jesus. They weren’t even talking to me about God. At the time, again, I wasn’t even sure what it was but I knew there was something different about them. When the gospel was presented, my curiosity became reality and I ran for it and my life has never been the same since.

So many are jaded, not believing, however the actual evidence is actually endless. For me, what’s the irrefutable evidence is meeting someone who’s life has been changed by an encounter with Jesus. It’s infectious. At the time, I didn’t know what it was, I just knew it was what I guessed I had been looking for and I wanted it.

Jesus changed my heart and life forever.

I feel so sorry for those who seem to have renounced their faith from their innocence or refuse to believe, as Jesus and the Bible does not match up with who they are and their beliefs around who God and Jesus are supposed to be. I feel so fortunate that I was not so jaded.

The thing that I’ve learned about Jesus is that He can handle that unbelief, and wants us to explore Him. Some are so jaded because of hurts from the church, and have been wounded far beyond the hurts like myself and others might have endured. The reality is that The Lord is big enough to press in to our unbelief for us to explore Him. He is real, but if we need to study Him more, to research the facts, He is patient for those that need this. The cool thing is that if you do this, you will find that He is real, He is who He says He is.

Sometimes when you speak to some of us who didn’t need such exploration, we might sound very ignorant and very sheep like in our belief. Often our explanation is that Jesus changed our heart and life, we’re not the same, and that’s our evidence that He’s real. I’m sorry if that puts you off.

If you need to put your hands in the nail holes to believe, there is evidence out there for you to study. Get going, dig in, research all you need. Seek Him out with all you’ve got. Try to prove His existence is false. He’s waiting for you at the end of your journey.

However, if you’re tired from all that life has given you. There is rest in Jesus. You don’t have to toil. Believe on the name of The Lord and you WILL BE SAVED. It is the greatest gift you’ll ever receive.

So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!” But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.” Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!” Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” (John 20:25, 27-29 NIV)

(photo is of me and my friends on a pastors’ tour to Israel on the Sea of Galilee in 2008)