Someone call up the Pulitzer people, the Peabodys, the Nobel Committee, the Golden Globes (if they mattered) and tell them to get their shit together and give Paper Magazine everything. Why no one else thought of combining the greatest things in the world — summer, drag queens and swimsuits made for women of a certain age — is a tragedy, really. Rebecca Smeyne photographed some upcoming legendary New York drag queens for the swimsuit extravaganza eleganza, “Queens of Summer.” Throw in some cheap puns — Cher Noble, Misty Meaner and Horrorchata are our favorite drag names — and a high-waisted anything and we’re basically in gay heaven. As we sit to the right hand of God, she prefers “Judy”, take a look at these ladyboys serving Boca Raton by way of Brooklyn realness.

How did you come up with your name?
I have always been obsessed with the Chernobyl disaster and one day I just realized what a great drag name it would be. Not only does it include the definitive queen words, “Cher” and “Noble,” but it is also has nuclear and mutant connotations.

Horrorchata

What’s the biggest compliment you’ve ever gotten on your look?
One time my mom called me and said, “Hijo, you look like Selena. ” I cried. I love my mom!

Thorgy Thor

Do you have a day job or another job besides performing?
Did I mention I’m also a professional violinist, violist and cellist? I’ve been playing violin/viola since I was small and got a scholarship to study in college. I graduated from Purchase Conservatory. I now find most of my work as a cellist, surprisingly, but I teach private lessons to students on each instrument and play for professional orchestras and opera companies year-round. I’ve also had some great opportunities recording albums with some wonderful artists.

Misty Meaner

How did you come up with your name?
I started off as Misty Newaters, then met a queen named “Teena Bortion.” I died, and knew I needed a name that was memorable and catchy. I also wanted to be feared and respected, so Misty Meaner was a perfect fit.

Stevie Zar

[Ed. note: WEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRQQQ!!!]

For more photos and more of the queens’ interviews, make sure to visit Paper.