“Pretty Little Liars” recap (5.21): Prison Barbies

Cheerio, old chaps! This week Spencer put on her jumper, got in her lorry, and drove off to jolly old London-town where A tried to drown her in the Thames. It was ripping good fun.

But before that happened, we open with the Liars at the prison for their Ali apology tour. All except Hanna, who is presumably still dancing out her demons in the rehearsal room. The Liars agree that while Ali may be a bitch, she isn’t a murderer, so now they have to help prove her innocence. They relay the Mona story to Ali, who is understandably pissed off.

Aria, I asked you twice not to wear my harnesses like suspenders

Ali tells Aria that she’ll throw Mike to the defense if it means her release, and Aria begs her for some time to track down the real A. Ali rightly tells them that they’ve been trying to find A for five seasons now, but Aria seems convinced that Cyrus can lead them to A. To be fair, Aria literally just started investigating, so this whole “endless mystery” thing is new to her.

‘Sup new fish? Wanna clique up?

She’s already claimed, bro

Spencer comes home to find Veronica, who is furious that Spencer is skipping school to visit her friends in prison. Wren has come through with an Oxford interview, so Spencer is getting on the next plane to stay with Wren and Melissa in London. Veronica may hate Wren, but not as much as she hates Jonny Artsnfarts.

I’d rather see you in jail than at Burning Man!

Over at Brew 2.0, Emily meets Claire, who is a contestant coordinator for the beauty pageant. Emily forgot to get her mom’s signature, because she forgot she had a mom. Claire assures her that she’s a great candidate, and could have already collected a few glass slippers.

Do you have any trophies?

Mostly just Ani DiFranco CDs that exes have left in my bedroom

The Liars go to casa Hastings to help Spencer pack/convince her to jeopardize her future for more sleuthing. Aria hires Veronica for a dollar (LOL Veronica Hastings dries her tears with dollar dollar bills y’all) and gets some vague legal advice. The bottom line is, Mike could do jail time if the defense finds out he withheld information about Mona’s murder.

What advice can you give me for a dollar?

Emily has fucked half the town with your suspenders. That one’s for free.

Hanna is over all this bullshit and tells Spencer to come clean and get her mom to help them find A. Emily agrees with her, but Aria is terrified of what will happen to Mike. Team Sparia is all about them secrets.