Let’s Talk About Porn Stars

June 13, 2012

Female porn stars have forever been kind of un-chic until now, because I am henceforth declaring them to be chic as shit. Let me explain: every year my best gay Roman and I attend the AVN Awards in Vegas. Roman’s dad lived in Vegas for years, and has been getting us tickets to the show since we turned 18. It’s one of the events I look forward to the most because I can wear a super slutty Hervé Léger look, drink champagne, and watch porn without feeling the weight of the world’s judgement upon my frail little shoulders/collarbones. For example, this was my outfit for the past awards show:

And then I changed into this outfit for the afterparty:

I got so drunk, Ron Jeremy hit on me. It was major.

Anyways, I’m a huge advocate of porn. Not only is it one of the only industries where women get paid a ton more money than men, but it’s also helped me get through some very dark periods in my life. There’s nothing like an all female Eiffel Tower orgy, complete with double-ended dildos to lift you out of a major depression, am I right? Male porn stars and gay porn stars crossed over into chic territory last year, and Sasha Grey and James Deen are doing their “acting” thing, but I feel like female porn stars have yet to really feel their moment in the sunshine of chic. So let’s celebrate them! Porn stars are just like you and me. They hang out next to pools, they tweet, they ride around in sports cars while smoking cigarettes and drinking iced coffees. The only difference is that instead of making some shitty sex tape that their ex-bf’s put on the internet, they have sex on camera and get paid thousands of dollars. Also, and don’t stone me for saying this, but I’ve always considered supermodels to be bonier, bitchier versions of porn stars.

I’m going to give you my top three porn star obsessions, and then I’ll leave you to your own fantasies because I’m already 20 minutes late to therapy, and writing this post while I’m driving is not safe for anyone:

1. Nyomi Banxxx

Fun Fact: Nyomi won the Urban X Female Performer of the Year in 2011. Also, that name? Everything.