A demon lives in my hall bathroom,
and I’m not sure why
thrice before, in vain, I’ve asked him
but I guess he’s shy
I’ve tried before to speculate –
it never sits quite right
he hates when I look in my mirror,
yet only late at night
sometimes, he crashes on my couch,
or loiters in the hall
three years now, he’s lived rent free
god, what fucking gall!
I have tried to evict him,
but he saunters back
I guess that he’s good company,
so I cut him some slack
either way, he’s quite the burden
I wish not to bare,
tonight, I’ll burn the whole town down
to say his tab is square!

Well, I heard a knocking at my door,
which, I swear to you, was a dinosaur!
it took me but a moment to think
that, perhaps, I should offer a drink
I invited it in, and it loudly roared,
thank god no longer am I bored
trust me, this was a great surprise
but this dinosaur, it had glossy red eyes
I poured us some rum while it rolled up a joint,
two three-fingered hands, but the weed was on point
we lit up, and we pounded some shots
then woefully tried some boy scout knots
I grabbed my pipe, and loaded it, fat
but this dinosaur puked all over my mat
passed out in a puddle of rum,
this dinosaur even sprayed my drum!
who cleans up after a dinosaur?
I begged and cried for a meteor!
I guess I’ll deal with this tomorrow,
for nothing comes from today’s sorrow!

Up on a mountain
dazed and high
a thunderbird soared up in the sky
he swooped down
and lifted me up,
then asked if I was wearing makeup
“No,” I said, to my new friend,
“I bathe in baby blood,
a brand new trend!”
“Oh,
I see,
but don’t understand,
either way,
I bet you taste grand!”
we flew back to his ridge-top nest,
me and mine,
my new friend best
he sat me down on an old bone pile,
asked if I would give him a smile
I nodded yes,
and I grinned wide,
he looked at me like I’m his bride
I looked up
as he looked down,
towered over me like a Duke and town
he opened his mouth
oh so wide,
down his throat,
seamless, I slide