FAR SIDE OF PERFECT/Lessons learned on playing field

Friday

Sep 28, 2007 at 12:01 AMSep 28, 2007 at 10:13 PM

Each spring and fall, I eagerly await the start of soccer season.

Diane K. Danielson

Each spring and fall, I eagerly await the start of soccer season. Even though I’ve finally hung up my cleats, it’s just as fun to be a soccer mom (and sometimes coach). Now, I had the good fortune to ride the Title IX wave and have sporting opportunities that were unavailable to many of my peers. This meant that as I hit the workforce, I was able to bring many of the lessons I learned along the way into the office with me. So, for those of you who didn’t have that opportunity (or who want to have a few good reasons as to why your kid should try a sport), here are a few business lessons I learned with my cleats on.

The importance of being a team player.

On the field, everyone has an assigned position, which you play to the best of your ability in order to help your team win. In a crisis, you may play a different position or cover for a teammate; but that helps you appreciate their role and play your own even better. And yes, there are always standouts on every team. But even a leading scorer needs someone to feed her the ball (standouts who forget this usually remember after the rest of the team stops passing to them). A true superstar on the field or in the office knows that he or she is only as good as the team that surrounds them and their own ability to be a team player.

A personal penalty hurts the whole team.

An indoor soccer player who misbehaves (let’s say screaming curse words at an opponent young enough to be her daughter), can be sent to the penalty box for a “time-out” or tossed out of the game completely AND no one fills either vacancy. I admit it. That incident was not one of my finer moments (even if she was deliberately fouling me and taunting us with comments about our “mature age”). But, while I was cooling off in the penalty box, my exhausted teammates had to play part of a championship game down a player. So, much like in the business headlines, one person’s behaving badly can hurt the whole team.

Shake hands with the competition.

In soccer, the other team’s goals are (literally!) at cross purposes with yours. Yet even after the roughest games, it’s customary for opposing teams to shake hands. (In World Cup play they even trade sweaty jerseys … but that may just be a guy thing.) Shaking hands is a universal way to say that the match is now over and it’s Miller time for everybody. Similarly, when it comes to run-ins or tough negotiations in the workplace, like an athlete, you need to advocate your points, accept the final outcome, shake hands and leave the competition behind in the boardroom.

Everyone may not like you, but they all can respect you.

I can’t make everyone like me no matter how hard I try. But, I can earn everyone’s respect by coming prepared, trying my hardest, working with the team, playing by the rules and, most of all, being a good sport. (Note to self: No more cursing like a sailor at the opposition.) Not everyone you work with is going to be your best buddy, but they can all respect your intelligence, contributions, dedication and work ethic.

Just because you lose one game, doesn’t mean you quit playing.

Sometimes you lose. And I’m the first to admit, I hate losing. Losing is about as much fun as having your car break down in a rotary during rush hour. You feel frustrated and helpless, and unable to shut out the a**holes who seem to think you planned this on purpose just to personally mess up their day. But, you don’t quit driving, do you? No. Because we all know that breakdowns, accidents, and flat tires come with the territory. Likewise, for every successful athlete or businessperson, there were hundreds of losses, slumps, setbacks, “crawl in a hole,” “just kill me now and put me out of my misery,” sort of days along the way. Yet they stayed in the game. Why? Because every once in a while the skills, the practice and the experience all come together and a group of “old ladies” can whoop the pants off a bunch of college students half their age. And there ain’t no better feeling than that in the whole wide world!

This column is dedicated to all my soccer mates over the years, and especially Shawn Gager (1970-2007), who took the lessons she learned on the field and in the ice rink with her wherever she went.

Diane K .Danielson is a Cohasset resident, proud soccer mom and CEO of www.DowntownWomensClub.com. She’s also the author of the new book, The Savvy Gal’s Guide to Online Networking (or What Would Jane Austen Do?) now available on Amazon.