(We’ve recently gotten a new coworker who I can tell is not going to work out. Our store caters to a wide variety of sizes, and our plus size lines are very popular as it’s hard for bigger women to find decent looking but reasonably priced lingerie. My co-worker constantly finds a reason not to serve these women and then makes fun of them as soon as they leave, much to our disgust. She’s been spoken to by our supervisor and our service staff manager, but usually cries until they feel bad and send her on her way. Being a slightly larger woman myself at a size 18, she makes me very uncomfortable and often makes disapproving noises at me while I’m eating in the office on my break. She also constantly flirts with customer’s boyfriends or husbands, often right in front of their girlfriends or wives. A very, VERY attractive man in his mid-20s comes into our store, looking around, a little embarrassed. This is pretty normal. My co-worker sees him and instantly makes a beeline for him, even though she is supposed to stay on the register.)

Coworker: “Hi there! Welcome to [Lingerie Store]. I must say I’m a little sad to see you shopping in here. Does that mean you’re spoken for?”

(She says all this breathily while batting her eyelashes and standing way too close. The guy is clearly uncomfortable.)

Customer #1: “Uh, well, yes. I’m married.”

Coworker:*giggling like an idiot* “Aww, that’s too bad…”

Customer #1: “Uh, it’s my wife’s birthday next week, and she really hasn’t felt too great about herself since she had our daughter a few months ago. I’d like to get her something that would make her feel pretty.”

Coworker: “Oh, women absolutely ruin their bodies having children. I’ve never had any, so I’m still perfect all over!” *winks*

(At this point I’d like to go and help the poor guy escape, but I’m helping a customer. I can see that the two women standing by the front door looking at the racks are listening.)

Coworker:*finally realising he’s not taking the bait* “Hmm, okay, if you say so. Do you know her size at least?”

Customer #1:*visibly relieved* “Yes actually, I checked the tag in one of her bras. She’s a 24; she used to be a double D but—“

Coworker: “She’s WHAT size?!”

Customer #1: “A 24?”

Coworker:*steps back* “Ew, that’s disgusting! Get out of here you sick freak!”

(At this point I drop the bras I’m holding and RUN to the customer.)

Me: “Sir, I am so sorry!” *to coworker* “What the h*** are you doing?!”

Coworker: “Get him out! There is no way a guy who looks like THAT would marry someone like that unless he’s one of those freaks who gets off on it!” *shouting at customer* “You sick freak! Get out!”

(The poor guy is standing there, mystified, when suddenly one of the customers from the entrance comes over.)

Customer #2: “Sir, I would like to sincerely apologise for the way this woman is acting. I assure you that’s not how we do business here, and if you’d wait just a moment for me to deal with this, I will get you anything your wife would like, on the house.”

Coworker: “Excuse me, who the h*** do you think you are?”

(The woman flips out the lanyard from inside her shirt. On it hangs one of our store IDs, with the words REGIONAL MANAGER written under her picture.)

Customer #2: “Hi. I’m your boss’s boss. Well, not anymore. You are officially being let go. Get out of my store, NOW.”

(My boyfriend and I work in different departments of the same place. On a night we are both closing, I finish my closing tasks before he does, so I go to sit and wait for him. I open up the new Pokémon Go game and see something.)

Me: “Babe! There’s a Squirtle outside! I’m gonna go walk around the building to see if I can find it!”

(I’ve been working at a fast food restaurant for a month and a half at this point, but I have yet to learn everything. I’m making an iced coffee with flavoring when one of the managers comes over to the drink station with an order of her own.)

Manager: “That’s a lot of stuff in there. What did you put in?”

Me: “Cream, flavoring, and liquid sugar. Why?”

Manager: “Oh God, dump that out. You only put the liquid sugar in if there’s no flavoring.”

Me: “Oh, okay.”

(I dump out the concoction and start doing it correctly while my manager works on her drink.)

Manager: “That was going to have too much sugar. That was practically diabetes waiting to happen.”

(I’m male and have a lot of female friends I’ve never been romantic with. I’m also a massage therapist. This means lots of hugging and shoulder rubs when I go hang out with my friends. One of my friends invites me out to lunch once a week or so and we go to a popular sandwich chain. While waiting in line, my female friend and I are rubbing each other’s shoulders and giving each other a hard time. When we got up to order, she goes first and I notice the lady behind the counter giving me a look.)

Me: “I’ll have a foot-long [Sandwich] on wheat .”

Employee: “Uh huh.” *gives me the weird look again*

(I ignore it and give her my condiment toppings as we move down the line. When we get to the register, my friend has her wallet out to pay for her meal.)

Employee: “Your total is [total].”

Friend: “Oh, no, our orders are separate.”

(She gives me a harder look and I just stare back, confused.)

Employee: “Your boyfriend there should be paying for your meal.”

(My friend and I both stop, look at each other and start laughing. The employee just looks confused for a moment until I can compose myself.)

Me: “Oh no, we aren’t…”

Friend: “No, no, no… we’re just…”

Together: “Just friends.”

Employee: “Oh, I’m sorry. You guys are in here together all the time. I thought you were a couple. I just kept wondering why he made you pay for your own food.”

(I just laughed it off and went to have lunch with my friend, making jokes about it and wondering why her being my girlfriend would mean I’d HAVE to pay. A few weeks later, my actual girlfriend and I go to this restaurant together and get served by the same lady.)

Employee: “Where’s your other girl? The one you’re always in here with.”

Me: “Well, that just sounds bad.”

Girlfriend:*jokingly* “You mean you eat sandwiches with other girls?”

Me:*also jokingly* “Nah, baby, you’re my only sandwich girl.”

(The employee had the decency to get embarrassed, but I had to wonder if she was trying to out me in front of my girlfriend. A week later, my friend, girlfriend, and I all went out to eat together and laughed about that lady.)