The Politically Incorrect Alzheimers Poetry Blog

Dear Social Services

To whom it may concern, I’m writing to you,
In regards to my mother-in-law – ref 36112,
We spoke in this respect some months ago,
Asked for assistance; the computer said “no”.

Now we are some months along down the line,
Paying for private agency carers on our own dime,
She’s since deteriorated with Alzheimers disease,
Would you now be willing to re-assess her needs?

I know all your questions, so I will just pre-empt,
Yes, she can dress herself – she’s fairly well-kempt,
Yes, she is continent; yes, she’s mobile,
This is all information you can add to your file…

Yes, she can cook – well at least microwave,
Yes, she can independently shit, shower, shave,
Yes, she can shop, and still partially clean,
The problem is all the little bits in between…

No, she cannot stop herself from constantly calling,
Her short-term memory is absolutely appalling,
She breaks her appliances left right and centre,
Defunct her TV, phone and remote will daily render…

No, she doesn’t take her medication most days,
No, she can’t remember through the Alzheimers haze,
No, she won’t stop knocking next door on the neighbour’s,
Constantly calling on them for various favours…

No, she’s no longer quite safe around gas,
No, her MMSE test she can no longer pass,
No, honestly, I don’t trust her to drive,
I’ve referred to DVLA – we’ll let them decide…

And she has paid taxes for all of her life,
Ok, that’s a lie – still it cuts like a knife,
That husband and I should be in a constant struggle,
Attempting both full-time work and caring to juggle…

I know your answer already – I won’t be surprised,
When this comes back again as “Application Denied”,
But, oh, Social Services! – can you not see??
It’s not mum-in-law who needs the support – it is me!!!

So thank you once again, for taking the time,
To read this lyrical submission of mine,
And though you will probably decline to this letter,
Yours sincerely, best wishes, etcera etcera…