Benjamin Preston

If you're going to steal a car you've never driven before, it's a good idea to know how to drive stick, just in case. The three teenagers who carjacked Jebelle Yaunk's Honda CRX didn't and made fools of themselves as they fumbled helplessly.

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Being a tough Nebraska sort, Yaunk shrugged off the fact that they had smacked her in the jaw with the butt of a pistol and laughed at the three young criminals, who set off the car's alarm, and then had trouble getting it started because none of them could drive stick very well. She likened the trio to the Three Stooges.

The death knell of the Stooges' criminal career was sounded when one of them called his parents to tell them he was on the run from the law. His parents called the police and the boys are now in a juvenile detention center.

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The fact that a group of teenage idiots ended up in a mess isn't what ruffles my feathers, though. Yaunk obviously took really good care of that CRX — a great little car that's getting harder to find these days — and they messed it up. During their flight, the thieves damaged the undercarriage. The car is leaking fluid now. Maybe the judge should send them to Cleveland for a fitting punishment. (Hat tip to akb2397032!)