Your answer to the question is confusing but I agree with the other ladies.

A bride/groomzilla is someone who prioritized their vision over the convenience and enjoyment of their guests and who refuses to be accommodating when an issue is brought to their attention. I am not saying you can please everyone all of the time but a certain level of hosting is required.

Someone who puts their vision and wants over the convenience and comfort of their guests. Easily identified by statements like "It's my day", "But I'm the bride", or "But I've dreamed about this day forrrever".

OP wouldn't a guest nitpicking be a guestzilla? I don't understand your definition.

Agree w PP a bride/groomzilla puts their vision ahead of guest comfort. Like if the bride needs an outdoor fall foliage ceremony, but on wedding day it's 46 degrees and she refuses to move the ceremony indoors, and the guests are freezing, that's bridezilla behavior.

I think OP is saying like, "how do you force a bride into bridezilla territory". Like what factors turn someone into a bridezilla. I think it's a poorly worded question, but that's how I took it.

I think the weird wedding pressure can turn an otherwise reasonable person into a bridezilla. Like someone who goes into the process and gets upsold on unnessecary things they just have to have turn them into someone who's like "why should I PAY for someone I don't even know to come to MY wedding" when asked about inviting SOs, stuff like that

If a bride/groom finds themselves saying things like "well it's OUR day, nothing else matters" or "they should suck it up for the bride and groom" or "this is my day to be a princess" or "it's only one day, people should do whatever I want/say" or basically anything that makes her/him sound like a spoiled brat... I would call that bride/groomzilla territory. As long as a bride/groom are respectful, cover the basics of hosting their closest family and friends, and don't act like spoiled brats, they'll have no problem staying out of that territory.

I don't really think anyone else can push someone into bridezilla territory. A person is responsible for how to respond to people (even if they're being ridiculous) 100% of the time. Great ways to avoid having to deal with ridiculous people/demands are to: pay for the wedding yourself (because those who pay DO get a say, and those who don't contribute do not) and to choose vendors carefully.

My husband and I paid for our entire wedding on our own and had numerous situations where many guests had special requests. At one point it became too much, and I had to start shutting people down. Many guests viewed our wedding as a "party" they wanted to show off for their own personal value and requested plus ones for people whom they weren't even dating for very long or at all for that matter. "So and so cant come, so can I bring this person?". It annoyed my husband and I because we knew they wouldn't be covering their guests plate costs, and we were already on a SUPER TIGHT BUDGET.

We also had a strict "no kids" rule. The event was open bar, and we felt it wasn't a place to have kids running around. 99% of our guests were perfectly OK with it, especially because we gave everyone a year and a half notice. We understood proper arrangements had to be made. I had one family member who was upset and caused a big uproar because I wouldn't make an exception for her son. I found it to be unfair because if I did that for one, I had to do it for all. Our own FG and RB were taken home after the ceremony and they are my husbands little brother and sister! She ended up not coming to our wedding at all and no longer speaks to us. At a certain point there is such a thing as a guestzilla too. Brides tend to immediately get a bad rap and that is a bit unfair.

My husband and I paid for our entire wedding on our own and had numerous situations where many guests had special requests. At one point it became too much, and I had to start shutting people down. Many guests viewed our wedding as a "party" they wanted to show off for their own personal value and requested plus ones for people whom they weren't even dating for very long or at all for that matter. "So and so cant come, so can I bring this person?". It annoyed my husband and I because we knew they wouldn't be covering their guests plate costs, and we were already on a SUPER TIGHT BUDGET.

We also had a strict "no kids" rule. The event was open bar, and we felt it wasn't a place to have kids running around. 99% of our guests were perfectly OK with it, especially because we gave everyone a year and a half notice. We understood proper arrangements had to be made. I had one family member who was upset and caused a big uproar because I wouldn't make an exception for her son. I found it to be unfair because if I did that for one, I had to do it for all. Our own FG and RB were taken home after the ceremony and they are my husbands little brother and sister! She ended up not coming to our wedding at all and no longer speaks to us. At a certain point there is such a thing as a guestzilla too. Brides tend to immediately get a bad rap and that is a bit unfair.

Well, you can't invite small people to your ceremony and then not have them welcome at the reception. That's basic hosting. If the parents (on their own) make the decision that it's best for the child not to attend, that's fine, but you shouldn't have requested it. If it were that all-important not to have children, you can't have children at the ceremony, i.e. no FG or RB.

However, proper and courteous hosting doesn't require that you invite kids, and anyone whose kids are not invited (at all) doesn't have the right to request an exception. Then again, if someone like my sister said "Hey, just so you know, if nephew isn't invited then I can't come" then that's a perfectly reasonable thing too, and the hosts (couple) have to either accept that the sister won't be there or decide to make an exception. That's not blackmail, or guestzilla behavior, but it depends a little bit on how it's phrased. And I think if I decided to leave things as-is, my sister would be validly hurt that it was more important to me not to have a (closely-related) child present than to have her present. For some people whose children are nursing, have special needs, or don't have a huge support network where they can travel OOT without their kids and don't trust an unknown sitter in an unknown city, just "making arrangements" may not be possible.

I think the bolded is putting your own feelings onto guest behavior. And if they were dating someone when invites went out (even if it had only been a week, but they considered themselves to be BF/GF) that person needed to be invited. Some of your guests may have merely been correcting your oversight in not inviting their significant other, and the proper thing in that case would have been to say "Oh, I had no idea you were dating X! I'm so sorry for the omission - of course they can come."

My husband and I paid for our entire wedding on our own and had numerous situations where many guests had special requests. At one point it became too much, and I had to start shutting people down. Many guests viewed our wedding as a "party" they wanted to show off for their own personal value and requested plus ones for people whom they weren't even dating for very long or at all for that matter. "So and so cant come, so can I bring this person?". It annoyed my husband and I because we knew they wouldn't be covering their guests plate costs, and we were already on a SUPER TIGHT BUDGET.

We also had a strict "no kids" rule. The event was open bar, and we felt it wasn't a place to have kids running around. 99% of our guests were perfectly OK with it, especially because we gave everyone a year and a half notice. We understood proper arrangements had to be made. I had one family member who was upset and caused a big uproar because I wouldn't make an exception for her son. I found it to be unfair because if I did that for one, I had to do it for all. Our own FG and RB were taken home after the ceremony and they are my husbands little brother and sister! She ended up not coming to our wedding at all and no longer speaks to us. At a certain point there is such a thing as a guestzilla too. Brides tend to immediately get a bad rap and that is a bit unfair.

I think this is a pretty bad attitude to have. Guests are not obligated to 1) give a gift, 2) give a gift of any certain amount, or 3) cover the costs of an event you decided to host and pay, and thus determined the costs.

To be blunt, Knottie#s, you were rude to not invite your guests' SOs (of any length of time!), rude to ban your own niece and nephew from the reception after having them IN the wedding, and in general rude to expect your guests to pay for your wedding via gifts.

Guests gifts are supposed to "cover their plate"? How crass and rude! Why didn't you plan a wedding you could easily afford? Sure sounds like Bridezilla "My wedding vision is more important than my guests" territory, to me!

*snip*". It annoyed my husband and I because we knew they wouldn't be covering their guests plate costs, and we were already on a SUPER TIGHT BUDGET.

*snip*

Pray tell me how the guests are supposed to know how much you spent? It's incredibly tacky to go on about that so people know.

I hate the "cover your plate" mentality. Just because my friends are loaded and could spend $500/person or are dirt poor and could only host cake and punch and spend $5/person doesn't mean my gift needs to be any more or less than what I can afford and what I want to give. You spent what you wanted to spend to host an event, you don't host a reception to recoup your costs unless you're petty and short sighted.

*snip*". It annoyed my husband and I because we knew they wouldn't be covering their guests plate costs, and we were already on a SUPER TIGHT BUDGET.

*snip*

Pray tell me how the guests are supposed to know how much you spent? It's incredibly tacky to go on about that so people know.

I hate the "cover your plate" mentality. Just because my friends are loaded and could spend $500/person or are dirt poor and could only host cake and punch and spend $5/person doesn't mean my gift needs to be any more or less than what I can afford and what I want to give. You spent what you wanted to spend to host an event, you don't host a reception to recoup your costs unless you're petty and short sighted.

I love my aunt's line. "If you want me to "cover my plate" then I get to pick the place."

*snip*". It annoyed my husband and I because we knew they wouldn't be covering their guests plate costs, and we were already on a SUPER TIGHT BUDGET.

*snip*

Pray tell me how the guests are supposed to know how much you spent? It's incredibly tacky to go on about that so people know.

I hate the "cover your plate" mentality. Just because my friends are loaded and could spend $500/person or are dirt poor and could only host cake and punch and spend $5/person doesn't mean my gift needs to be any more or less than what I can afford and what I want to give. You spent what you wanted to spend to host an event, you don't host a reception to recoup your costs unless you're petty and short sighted.

My aunt still has this mentality. She didn't come to our wedding (and wrote me a very snotty email about why), and TOLD US that's why her gift was smaller. But then she had to drive like an hour and a half to my sister's AHR (beer and tacos) and told her the smaller gift was subtracting the cost of gas and because "it didn't cost that much to host." But also my aunt sucks. That's really just an asshole thought process.

*snip*". It annoyed my husband and I because we knew they wouldn't be covering their guests plate costs, and we were already on a SUPER TIGHT BUDGET.

*snip*

Pray tell me how the guests are supposed to know how much you spent? It's incredibly tacky to go on about that so people know.

I hate the "cover your plate" mentality. Just because my friends are loaded and could spend $500/person or are dirt poor and could only host cake and punch and spend $5/person doesn't mean my gift needs to be any more or less than what I can afford and what I want to give. You spent what you wanted to spend to host an event, you don't host a reception to recoup your costs unless you're petty and short sighted.

My aunt still has this mentality. She didn't come to our wedding (and wrote me a very snotty email about why), and TOLD US that's why her gift was smaller. But then she had to drive like an hour and a half to my sister's AHR (beer and tacos) and told her the smaller gift was subtracting the cost of gas and because "it didn't cost that much to host." But also my aunt sucks. That's really just an asshole thought process.

That's the other end of things. If a couple has a reception that costs less do you give them less???