Would lke some comments on cremation. Carl brought this up, suddenly and unexpectedly...I told him I don't think I can do this to him...He said it is what he wants...no funeral, just the cremation and his ashes scattered in Hawaii...

Thank you for responding. I guess it just hit me hard that he made this decision, since we have not had a cremation on either side of the family. He said he just doesn't want a viewing, or to have family spend the money to travel such long distances for him.

I am still trying to wrap my heart around this...I realize it is not uncommon, but it is in our family!

My mom was cremated per her wishes and my husband and I both want the same. We are very practical and realize that the end result is the same no matter the burial method. It is the memories we leave behind that is our legacy, not some casket or headstone (although those are lovely monuments).

As hard as this conversation was, I did feel incredible peace knowing that I was honoring my mom's wishes. It would have been very hard to decide what to do had she not told me, so whatever you do, have the conversation and let your loved one's wishes be known.

My husband also wants to be cremated. I do not. We have discussed this at length and we will both do our own thing, so to speak. Just because you are cremated doesn't mean you can't have a memorial service. My brother in law was cremated and a few weeks after his passing my sister held a very nice memorial for him with special photos and she placed a necklace he wore around the urn. He had died from complications of heart disease and diabetes and had both his legs amputated. His last months were difficult and he didn't even look like himself. I believe not viewing him as he looked at the time of his passing was best. His ashes were interred and he has a head stone. My best advise is to talk over with a funeral director, they are wonderful at helping meet everyone's needs.

We are both planning to be cremated....Every member of our families had wakes - with viewing - , funerals, burials - the "works"....Until, my forward thinking mother decided she did not want that....Her cremation was the first in our family, and I must say, it was a good thing. My sister and I share her ashes, they are with us forever, until we decide where to scatter them - if ever. Difficult decision, but, in our case, it was a relief when we made it.

Most of my family has been cremated and that's what I and my husband want. My very Catholic mother also decided to be cremated after the church said it was ok. We had a memorial service for everyone. Some of the ashes were buried, some scattered, some are sitting on a shelf somewhere.My mother in law, however, had the whole nine yards. Rosary, viewing, mass, burial in a fancy casket. It was incredibly expensive, but that's what she wanted.The main thing is, you need to make your wishes known, and know what your loved ones want too.

My husband is also going to be cremated at his request. I have donated my body to UCSD Medical Center. It's a good deal, whoever is with me at my death just needs to call UCSD, they come pick up my body, and it's done.

Hospice pushed me to make final arrangements for my husband. It's for the best - it makes it easier for them to know who to call when he passes, and I have to admit it takes a load off of my mind as well. It's terribly sad, but I'm glad I did it now instead of waiting until the time came.