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11 thoughts on “So what would help you understand where I’m at if you didn’t read my blog?”

Not sure about cutting and pasting that text into Facebook, even though I would be the type to just turn around and say “oh for fucks sake, don’t you see how hard this is for me?” and I’d go on from there. But sometimes I am not very subtle.

I do however, have subtle ideas. What if a Facebook friend posted on your wall.

I’ve been thinking about you in the lead up to Christmas, and it brings tears to my eyes knowing that you and your children are about to experience your first Christmas without Greg. I know nothing will fix this, and I know well meaning people will tell you that you have to be “up” for the kids, so I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and sending you strength.

(((hugs)))
They’re well aware of the pain you’re in but they’re feeling guilty and trying to get you ‘to lighten up’ so they can enjoy themselves and not feel guilty.
If they are that shallow to say those things to you then they are mere work collegues who aren’t worth your time or energy.
And certainly not worth spending any more time thinking about.
Cos you and the kids are worth a great deal more xxxxx

Thank you all.
I think that’s a great idea Strangeapple & Ms Fifi. That’s more my style too – less In Your Face than the direct posting. I wonder where I’d find friends like that ;)

….and HFF & Jayne I love that you understand so easily.

I did actually take the person who said these words to task last night …. she has been sepparated for year and is ready to move on. I’m not. I think lightening up is part of her grand plan to match me off with someone else so she can start feeling happy about me.
I explained the difference between being in love with a dead man because I never fell out of love with him, and growing to hate your partner over a number of years before finally splitting up . Both painful experiences … but not the same at all.

Lord… I honestly don’t know … I think sometimes it can be easier for others to ignore or forget your situation than to front up and experience some of the reflected grief… esp when they have never been near it before.

Perhaps in realising or remembering your situation too late, they got defensive? I don’t know. Did someone actually SAY that to you directly? Seems incredibly ignorant to me… I think you need only to share your link or those thoughts when you are feeling clear-headed about it. You need to take care of yourself first and foremost.
(((hugs)))
BB

Done, and I hope you know that what I’ve said is not a piece of fiction. I have been thinking of you and my words are from the heart, I may or may not have said them, but I was definitely thinking them.

It just seems incredible that people, knowing full well what you have been (are going) through can think their comments will do anything other than make you feel worse. I am glad that you took the person who made the comments to task. I hope she thinks a bit more carefully befroe she speaks (and spreads the word on yur behalf).

Seriously, people think you should be “okay”? Please. Big massive EYE-ROLL. A tiny modicum of awareness, people!
I think they (really really) need to get an inkling, but it’s best maybe (like my colleagues above say) that you don’t have to be the one to do the educating. This is what friends are for!

Firstly I would have told them then and there to fkkk off! (sorry if that offends anyone but that’s me – just ask Bush Babe) The nightmare you’re living has got to be absolutely bloody awful. I’m divorced and cannot understand how that person thinks that would even resemble being similar to your loving husband being DEAD – that person just doesn’t get it! Look after you and do what you gotta do to make it through a day at a time….. xo