Another Prick In The Wall

A man in his 40's has been charged for indecent exposure and disturbing the peace, following a truly bizarre incident, yesterday afternoon.

Mr. Kunst, a German National visiting the UK, was spotted appearing to engage in a sex act upon a hole in a wall, in a side-street in Little Bindon, Sussex.

"I have never seen anything like it", said local man Mike Keane.

"At first I thought he was trying to peek through the wall or something; but then I realised he was actually pushing up against it"

The shocked passer-by decided to look closer and got a nasty shock in the process.

"...So I went over to see exactly what the guy was doing and just as I was about to ask, he turned round and I saw his trouser zipper was undone - and that his Johnson was dangling out, too. I didn't know what to say - I almost laughed!"

Mr Kunst proceeded to launch a tirade of foul abuse at Mr Keane and then ran off before being confronted by police some 30 minutes later. Other locals were still in shock and have been left scarred by the incident.

"It's a quiet village" said Mrs Vickery, the local postmaster.

"The last thing we need is a filthy pervert running loose - I wouldn't be able to sleep at night; you have to wonder what he might do when he tires of walls - God help us!"

Police have released Mr Kunst on bail but have yet to release an official statement.

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