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Sports Parenting: Janis Meredith: Focus on resolving situations

Parents, if you cut down on complaining, whining, worrying and nagging, and focus instead on resolving situations and helping to make things better, you and your child will enjoy a much more positive youth sports experience.

Sports Parenting: Janis Meredith: Focus on resolving situations

You may think that you waste your time sitting around waiting for matches or games at your child's tournament. Or you may feel that the hours you spend driving your children to practices and games are a total waste of your time.

Those time-consumers are sometimes aggravating and tiresome, but there are actually much more pointless ways that sports parents waste time. Do you find yourself wasting time and energy doing any of these?

Complaining and Whining: When my kids complained and whined, I used to tell them that it was a waste of time. And it's just as much a time-waster for parents, too.

When you complain and whine about —or to the coach, referee, your child's teammates or the other parents — you are not doing one single thing to make the situation any better. I know that it momentarily makes you feel better, but the Band-aid will come off again. And because the thing that made you whine and complain has not changed, you will be right back where you started, whining and complaining some more.

Instead of complaining and whining, focus on the positive and if there are problems that need to be solved, seek solutions, instead of letting the problem fester.

Worrying: There's so much to worry about in youth sports:

Will my child make the team?

Will my child like his coach?

Will my kid get enough playing time to keep him happy?

Will my kid feel good about her performance?

Will my kid get along with her teammates?

Will my high school athlete get a chance to play in college, if they want to?

Will my kid get hurt?

Can I afford this?

Worry never helps your kids play better and it never offers solutions. Instead of wasting your time worrying, look for small victories and take steps to resolve situations, instead of stressing over them.

Nagging: Riding your kids to practice, work out, be aggressive or work harder is a waste of time if your child doesn't have the inner drive to be the best he or she can be at a sport.

I think that sometimes parents nag because it makes them feel they are doing something — anything — to help their child do better. But if your child doesn't have his or her own motivation, your nagging is going in one ear and out the other.

Parents, if you cut down on complaining, whining, worrying and nagging, and focus instead on resolving situations and helping to make things better, you and your child will enjoy a much more positive youth sports experience.