Okay, here’s a weird beauty tip. Joan Rivers has a recipe for DIY deodorant involving the preferred flavorless spirit of college kids and Charlie Sheens everywhere:

I always spray my costumes with vodka and water. It’s an old Broadway trick — two-thirds water and one-third vodka, spray your armpits and you’ll never smell again.

I guess that’s one way of avoiding all that terrifying aluminum, but won’t you just trade smelling unclean for smelling like a drunk?

[Ed. Note: I asked Jennifer if I should categorize this post under Beauty Treatments of the Damned and she replied without hesitating, “Yeah. I think Joan Rivers is the definition of a beauty treatment of the damned.”