In a prominent bar in Secaucus one dayRose a lady in skunk with a top-heavy swayRaised a knobby red finger - all turned from their beer -While with eyes bright as snowcrust she sang high and clear

Now who of you'd think from an eyeload of meThat I once was a lady as proud as can be?Oh I'd never sit down by a tumble-down drunkIf it wasn't, my dears, for the high cost of junk.

All the gents used to swear that the white of my calfBeat the down of a swan by a length and a halfIn the kerchief of linen I caught to my noseAh, there never fell snot, but a little gold rose.

I had seven gold teeth and a toothpick of goldMy Virginia cheroot with a leaf it was rolledAnd I'd light it each time with a thousand in cashWhy the bums used to fight if I flicked them an ash

Once the toast of the Biltmore, the belle of the TaftI would drink bottle beer at the Drake, never draftAnd dine at the Astor on Salisbury SteakWith a clean table cloth for each bite I would take

In a car like the roxy, I'd roll to the trackA steel-guitar trio, a bar in the backAnd the wheels made no noise, they turned ever so fastStill it took you ten minutes to see me go past

When the horses bowed down to me that I might chooseI bet on them all for I hated to loseNow I'm saddle each night for my butter and eggsAnd the broken threads race down the backs of my legs

Let you hold in mind girls that your beauty must passLike a lovely white clover that rusts with its grassKeep your bottoms off bar stools and marry your youngOr be left - an old barrel with many a bung

For when time takes you out for a spin in his carYou'll be hard-pressed to stop him from going too farAnd be left by the roadside, for all your good deedsTwo toadstools for tits and a face full of weeds

All the house raised a cheer, but the man at the barMade a phone call and up pulled a red patrol carAnd she blew us a kiss as the copped her awayFrom that prominent bar in Secaucus NJ