Wednesday, November 13, 2013

There's Gold In Them Thar Shills!

As I havealready pointed out repeatedly over the years, these days all the clever Conservative swine are lining up at the trough for their slice of that very tasty, "I Wuz Right All Along!" dollar.

Which is a very good dollar indeed.

It is a tricky thing, managing your exit from the Wingnut Welfare Gravy Train -- the tracks for which you spent a lifetime laying; the engine of which you spent a lifetime stoking. You have to time it juuuust right: hit the ground, spin around and immediately begin making a tidy profit denouncing the entire enterprise as a horrible thing.

And it should come as no surprise to anyone that when these hucksters spin their tall tales of the Decline and Fall of Real, Awesome Conservatism and the Rise of Naughty, Bad, Racist Ratfucking Conservative (On sale now at Barnes and Noble for just $21.95 -- Makes a great stocking stuffer!)

every single one of them always dates the collapse of the Noble Cause to -- surprise! -- just about the same time they got kicked in the teeth by the same wingnut jackboots they had spent the last couple of decades lovingly cobbling together.

Or, as Mark Twain put it:

"I joined the Confederacy, served for two weeks, deserted, and the South fell."

Of course they cannot rewrite the history of the last 40 years alone, so how very lucky for them that when they go on the teevee machine to peddle their twaddle, they can absolutely count on their fellow alumni of of Barbizon School of Journalism and Modeling never asking them a single, tough question about the decades-long record of down-spiraling Conservative racism, paranoia and rage which brought us to the terrible place we are today.

So congratulations Liberals! The same people who spent decades building their careers by smearing us as lazy, lying, mooching, terrorist-loving, UnAmerican, fifth-columnist traitors...

...are now extending those careers by doing shitty, Disco Centrist, rip-off cover versions of what we have been saying all along.

But not to worry; we will not go entirely uncredited. We can still count on being frequently cited in the footnotes of their best-selling books as one-half of the "Extremes on Both Sides!" that are ruining Ronald Reagan's America.