Looking to spice up a corporate event or lengthy meeting agenda with some laughter? A writer who can inject a script or column with some desperately needed personality and punch? A wedding MC that will refrain from weirdly hitting on bridesmaids if and only if you add it as a clause in a written contract?

What about a welder? Do you have welding work? A volleyball line judge? Someone to teach your kids how to park their cars on hills? A government lobbyist… is that what you need? Someone to make flautas? Totally doable. Streetcars need drivers, and seriously, you’re just going to track down someone to do that without consulting a personal website? You’re gonna learn Tagalog from a perfect stranger? It’s 2016. IT IS THE YEAR THAT IT IS, FOR CHRIST’S SAKE. Just reach out. Because, essentially, everyone on LinkedIn has no talent. That’s an actual thing. There was an article all about it in The Atlantic but you probably missed it. Really, you’re doing yourself a favour by reaching out.

To inquire about booking Sean for your event, or for any of the other weird inquiries you might have, e-mail seanhebert AT gmail DOT com. If you want to tell Sean that you really expected him to amount to more in life, call his parents at 416-438-2279. They love talking about that stuff.