to take my 5 year old into changing rooms/toilets with me

I take my 5 year old DS to Karate at a local sports centre on a weekday evening. Sometimes when we are short on time he has to get changed there, other times he just goes for a wee before the lesson starts.

Anyway this week I just took him into the female changing rooms to use the toilets as it is hard for him to get his belt off etc and also he does not like to go by himself into the mens he is a bit scared and shy I think.

There were a couple of young girls in there say about 7 years old getting chaged for gymnastics but we did not hang about just went round the corner where the toilets are then out so DS wasn't staring at them or anything.

Later on while DS was having his lesson I went into the reception area to read the notices etc one of the girls came up to me and said 'your little boy is a pervert cos he came into the girls toilets' I was quite shocked and said 'no he is too young to go into the mens by himself'. She just skipped off to her friend and they were laughing and sniggering looking over at me.

I can't decide wether to think that this little girl is just repeating things she has heard adults talking about etc or if maybe at this age DS should not be coming into female changing rooms/toilets with me?

I have never seen a 5 year old (or an 8 year old for that matter) leering at women in changing rooms. My DS (just 9) has been using the mens toilets on his own for a year or so now, but 5 is too young to send them on their own, I know my DD (just 7) often had trouble with flush handles being too stiff for her to manage, also push taps until fairly recently.

That she feels it was ok to even say that to a stranger us a bit.. Well.. Odd I think. It's fine unless you pick up on ds being uncomfy. Then I would find a toilet for him to change his clothes. I wouldnt be happy sending him alone to males changing room tbh

cheeky little baggage!!! How on earth does she think that it is ok to talk to an adult she doesn't know like that?? What did you say to her? I would have given her a piece of my mind and be on the look out for her parent and telling them how rude she had been.

Ds1 is 7.6 and we're preparing for him to change alone in the gents when he hits 8. It's more the lockers that are the issue rather than the changing tbh but when he first does it no doubt I'll be a bit anxious.

Ds2 is 4.7 and is no where near being ready to change and organise himself and his stuff independently.

Of course he is alright at 5 yrs, but by 6 yrs he should be starting to manage in the right changing room/toilet. To the person who said they had to change their 6 yr old-of course they don't! They go swimming in many schools in year 1 and of course they manage when they have to!

My one contribution. Not letting a NT 8 year old go into the appropriate gendered changing room or loo is seriously bonkers.

I think it had better be my one contribution too. You wish that all DSs stood up for themselves like my nephew and said 'I am a man you know' and just went -it is the only way to deal with over protective mothers! I am seriously surprised that 8yr olds put up with it-mine wouldn't.

Our leisure centre has notices all around that says children under 8 must be accompanied at all times in all areas. YANBU and in our centre I would have reported those rude girls for being without a parent/adult.

HIS CHOICE.It was an open changing room, (ie no doors but two walls so you couldn't spy on them) .There were plenty of staff and all the other boys in his class did the same, which was why he wanted to.

But I wouldn't have sent him where I/He didn't feel safe.

The girls have probably been seeing all the Saville coverage on TV? Not realised the seriousness of what they were saying?

My one contribution. Not letting a NT 8 year old go into the appropriate gendered changing room or loo is seriously bonkers. If a NT 8 year old needs help getting changed and organising his/her stuff, then something has gone wrong somewhere. However, not letting a 5 year old go into whichever changing room matches the gender of the accompanying adult is equally but differently bonkers. Thank you and goodnight.

YANBU - I used to go swimming with my dad and go into the men's changing rooms with him. We always used a cubicle.When I was 6 (and quite tall) the pool staff stopped us on our way in and asked my age, when my dad said I was 6 they said I had to go into the ladies alone.

I remember it well - i remember crying hysterically as I couldn't work the locker and just generally found it all a bit overwhelming. A nice lady helped me.

I did get the hang of it all but to wait until 7 ie Junior School would have been better.