Worth

Why do I turn my back
from those who really love me?
Why don’t I tune my heart
to those who really care?
I am worried that if I love them too
I’ll drag them into what I’ve been through
that they will run and they will hide
because of the emotions I keep inside.
I’ll scare them away
and no one will stay
and my heart will be broken
and stay that way.
For as long as I live,
I will think like this
because of being broken before
and left at the door
of someone’s heart,
knocking, pleading that
they will let me in once more.
I didn’t hurt them,
I only trusted too much.
Thought they were worth
my love.
But they weren’t
so how do I know there you will be
How do I know you won’t leave me?
How do I know that you won’t flee
from the things that build up inside of me.
How do I know that you really care
besides saying you’ll be there.
There hasn’t been a reason to yet,
maybe there never will be
but sometimes I bet
myself that I’m not worth it,
to have friends I mean.
Not worth it to be loved.