I just want to make beautiful things…

Push

I’m in a bit of a funk. To spit it out plainly, I have hit that brick wall moment of realizing that even though I like my job and love my coworkers, I don’t make enough money. $9.34 an hour pays the bills and lets me eat, but sometimes I still depend on mom for groceries here and there. This is predominantly due to the Disney trip in two weeks, because as you know my car broke down and I had to buy a new one. These car payments are kickin my butt on top of replenishing my Disney fund.

I’m looking for work elsewhere. I’ve had two interviews at one place, but it’s hard to read if I landed the position or not. Only a wing and a prayer will tell. I’ve tried to just lift it up to God and let Him take it from here, but I’m still nervous. I have a timeline to preferably find something before the lease is up and I move out in March, but I would much MUCH rather find something now, and not later.

I’m really looking forward to finding a place for myself next year. I don’t regret moving out of my parents house. I like the leg room, but I’m really leaning on the side of having just my own one bedroom apartment. Other Rachel is fine and all, but I would just rather be alone now that I know what living away from my parents is like.

Basically: I just want to roll around in my personal yarn cave. Maybe get a pet angora rabbit.

I’ve been trying to work on my personal development with learning better ways to deal with my frustrations and priorities. I’ve finally put all my bills on paper to track my finances, and even getting better at cooking…that’s kind of a start right?

I also started a challenge called the 30 Day Push. It’s organized by a lady named Chalene Johnson and you should seriously google her…she is an amazing motivator and fitness trainer. This challenge is actually based around priorities and personal growth, and I’m only in day 2, but I think I’m going to be much more organized and make a lot more healthy habits after it’s all done!!

In knitting news:

Cleo has been very helpful this week while OR is in North Carolina on vacation. It’s just been her, me, my yarn, and the thermostat down to 74* and it’s been complete bliss. I’m working on some BFL/silk blend but it sheds worse than Cleo does!! I’ve also dyed up some more Lake Springfield fiber. I’ve got two four ounce braids, one is a little pulled out because I man-handled it in the pot while it soaked, the other is perfect. Getting better all the time!