22nd

Exchange-a-gram

Paramour

There’s a certain push I see in life. That moment when all of your problems and heartaches just vanish like the shells by the sea. With each ravishing wave the sea makes to the shoreline, it’s like life pushing you to the limit till you become the person you should be, like how the beach was ever beautifully created.

In over a period of 2 weeks, I have experienced the worst ordeal a student should ever experience in the academic side. With just half a year on your student clock comes the very unimaginable strike of the 5th number. With no chances left you just go on walking, running, jumping, crying, celebrating, regretting everything or for everything that has been happening in your life. Affixing signatures of different authorities here and there inside a gigantic university is helplessly difficult, especially when it’s like the whole world is against you. It was probably my worst week yet, was meaning it has ended. And the sigh of relief, the celebratory shout of “YES!”, the nights I can sleep well, at last I can be wishful again. But all of this are by my fault, my regrets, my actions, my thinking and of course doing. Nonetheless, I salute myself for not giving up from the hardships that had been there bashing my every hope of not taking up all of the rest of my deficiencies. Here’s to Erick, for a good job done! Or so my mother says.

Amidst the feeling of regret and relief, there’s nothing more I feel in life. I’ve become so numb that the song of Linking Park namely Numb has been ringing in my ears for quite a while now. It’s devastating to think about it, if I could but that’s just how I go with everything. It may seem I fake every bit of laughter I show in school, but it’s just a matter of self-defense of the stuffs that had come by my predicaments.

Anyway the rest of these 4 months take me, I will exceptionally take it like I am. A man. Goodnight.