He paused, looked at the kids' expression and said, So that you’ll listen twice much more than you speak.”

I guess if it was in one of Adam Sandler’s movie, my husband would have said, “So that you’ll shut up and hear me speak!”

This was the topic of our conversation that night because our youngest (9yo) does not seem to run out of things to say. We wanted him to learn the value of listening to others – not just his own voice.

There are a few quotations or phrases that helped me growing up. Unlike my children, I went to school that taught Theology, Religion and Philosophy from Grammar School through College. And unfortunately, I don’t currently belong to a church that engages the creative and inquisitive minds of the young – and the old. (For me, anyway.)

I question my religious affiliation, or is it religous affliction? Up until a few years ago, my kids and I went to church regularly. We even attended the daily services during Holy Week. But something happened that I lost touch – or lost interest.

I missed the days when I get out of the services and I feel “Yes!!”

Could it be that I stopped listening?
Could it be that I was just hearing the words but not really taking them in?
Could it be that I just didn’t stop talking?

And even the kids said, “Mom, I tried…but it seems like it’s the same thing over and over. I don’t get it...what’s the point after all?”

One of the kids asked, “Why can’t the services be more interesting and more engaging like the temple? How come other churches have members who seem to come out jolly?"

So last night when a dear friend was over for a visit, the question about religion came up.

The topic must have been destined to be explored. When my friend asked, “Have you read Ric Warren’s The Purpose Driven Life?”

I jumped with joy because the first time I heard about “The Purpose Driven Life” was during the 2008 Presidential Debate. I wanted to get that book but totally forgot it. So what are the odds of me being reminded of it once again?

I was surprised to hear that my friend has read it – before I did! As he described the experience, I mentioned to him that I have been slowly reading Joel Osteen’s “Become a Better You: 7 Keys to Improving Your Life Every Day” but that I can’t wait to start my 40 day journey of reading “The Purpose Driven Life!”

"It's bashert!" as my mom (in-law) would say.
There are lessons we can learn just by listening twice much more than we speak.

So if you’re about to start to go on the “40 day journey of the Purpose Driven Life”, let us do this journey together.

As the book quoted,“Two are better off than one, because together they can work more effectively. If one of them falls down, the other can help him up…Two people can resist an attack that would defeat one person alone. A rope made of three cords is hard to break. “ - Ecclesiastes 4:9 (TEV)

Emma Love is a gorgeous little 9yo girl who has piercing green eyes and a mop of sandy blonde hair. At 15 months, she was diagnosed with classic autism. She has never spoken a word, cannot dress herself and cannot even perform the most basic forms of personal hygiene.

Her family has not given up hope. The Love family is looking to raise $25,000 for a stem cell treatment at an American clinic in Ecuador. The family will take a trip to the center on November 15th for the four days of treatment.

The Patrick French foundation is taking donations on behalf of Emma Love. Please contact Jenn Love at emmasroadtoecuador@gmail.com or mail in your donation to:

The Patrick French Foundation
Attn: For “Emma Love”
21 Blake Ave
Cranford, NJ 07016
and in the memo spot of the check write "for Emma Love". Any documentation needed will be provided.

I know that most of us are facing some tough financial difficulties. However, any amount will definitely make a big difference!

A parent’s love and determination, faith and prayers with the help of the community can conquer any challenges. Sometimes ordinary people find ways to find different solutions and research to help find cure or an alternative whereas a team of medical experts or government regulations have failed.

As a mother, I feel that my life does not belong to me. My life is my children’s. There is still an invisible umbilical cord that will forever connect my children to my very being.

It’s the same connection that all mothers feel when we see the kids jumping down the stairs that initiate a sensation of being poked with pins and needles; The same reason why mothers don’t truly sleep deeply at night – every silent sound from our children is being amplified directly into my hearts.

So if you can, please pass this along and send in the donations to help the Love family. Let's give the Love family an early Thanksgiving blessing and Christmas presents!

Have you ever tasted something special that used to be an ordinary treat?
Does absence really make one’s heart grow fonder?

Staying over in a hotel – whether be in the city (NYC) or Princeton, used to be a regular weekend treat for us. But with the change in the economy, we have tightened our budget: no weekend getaways; very limited restaurant dining; no shopping just for the sake of it.

Yesterday, with the help of my husband’s parental units (mom and dad), my husband and I had one relaxing day – a break from our crumbcatchers’ regular hectic schedule. Lucky for us, we have parents that love to break away from their regular routine and gift us with a “mini-vacation”. For our past birthdays, mom and dad gave my husband a spa gift card and dinner money for mine. Mom calls them the “save-the-marriage” gifts! I think they are more like spreading “tinker bell gold dusts” at a loving marriage. Yes, happy thoughts were badly needed and a time off is what the doctor ordered!

(Mom and Dad gave us a gift certificate to Short Hills Hilton’s Spa. The spa was closed for 10 months, and it was just great timing that I booked it last week! Or is it bashert or kismet? )

Honey had fun at the hotel’s fitness center while I had the realigning sports massage . And I must say that I totally loved it! This morning, I woke up and I felt so relaxed – no achy bones! I was hesitant at first because most people I know tell me that the massage could be painful. I must tell you: no pain at all – just pleasure! Tightness in my neck, lower back, shoulders and glutes are all gone! The best treat was that the massage was supposed to be for my husband, but he gave it to me instead! I felt guilty (for a second) because I truly enjoyed his birthday present, but then he said,

“My gift to myself is to see you happy. If you’re happy, I’m ecstatic!”

We stayed the entire day just hanging by the pool – reading and napping. And then for an unplanned dinner, we headed to Ruth Chris’ steakhouse. (courtesy of mom and dad’s birthday present to me!)

Let me tell you, once you have deprived yourself of something special, the day you get a chance to enjoy it again is something memorable! Ruth Chris’ was like going to McDonald’s to us at one point. We stopped going a few years back and didn’t really miss it because the last few times we went, the sizzling hot prime rib steaks that are seared to perfection at 1800 degrees and topped with butter - just didn’t make us salivate!

However, last night…the steak was absolutely delicious! We had: carpaccio, chop salad and wild mushroom. Our palettes were enjoying every flavor. We split every thing and we still had left overs! We savored every little bite and you’ll be amazed on how tasty the foods really are!

While enjoying every bite, we realized that our past over indulgences had clouded the little things that we used to enjoy! I shouldn’t say little because there’s nothing little about Short Hills Hilton and Ruth Chris’ sizzling steak. When you over indulge so often, you tend to overlook and take the pleasure it provides for granted, so the experience was just a waste.

I should know better since I grew up in a Third World country. America does allow someone to live in excess that the beauty of simple pleasures get lost at times. It’s not the country’s fault, it’s just human nature.

So I think when we give ourselves a treat once in a while, every little tiny experience becomes so much more meaningful.

Are you a helicopter mom (someone who’s micromanaging every little detail of her child’s life) ?
Are you someone who freaks out about a few changes in your child’s schedule?

As a mother, I try to teach my children to be independent. My first two children are already in college but my two younger ones are in high school and grade school. All my four children have a hectic schedule, but my 15yo on the other hand is on a different level of “hectic”!

As parents, we encourage our children to follow their dreams – emphasis on “their”. The only way for them to be happy is to live their day to day in accordance to what they want to accomplish. When the kids are younger, we tried to expose them to different aspects of life – music, arts, sports, community service.

When your kid has multiple interests, where do you draw the line?

My 15yo is one very busy teen! He already gave up a few activities because there is just not enough time! There are three things he’s still very passionate about: government and politics; taekwon-do and music!

Music takes about 90 percent of his extra time – in between teaching piano, taking lessons and recording/producing his first jazz CD. Just a couple of weeks ago, the producer told us that “most artists live, breathe and sleep the 10 songs he is recording until the album’s completed.” But of course, since my son is only 15, we shouldn’t make the whole process stressful. However, to get the CD completed, he has to focus on the 10 songs!

When there’s extra time, he gets to attend a few TaeKwon-do (TKD) lessons. And on a few occasion, he got to teach TKD to younger students. So when he asked me if he can skip one recording session to attend a high-belt class/training in Philadelphia, my initial reaction was “No way! Where will you find the time? What about your recording schedule? You'll be one week behind schedule!”

He’s been taking TKD since he was 5. He had missed quite a few sessions because of school and recording engagements. However, he really insisted on attending the training.

It would have been easier to convince him that TKD can wait, but since my husband and I disagreed, it was a tougher sell on my part.

After a few exchanges of heated arguments, I realized that I was wrong, and that my son, although 15, has the right to manage his life. It is HIS life after all! I can only guide him and make him understand the consequences of his choices, but it is up to him to make the final decision.

As it turned out, he was able to work it out. So I guess you can say that I got stressed over nothing?

Ay-yayay! Kids these days are very busy. I’m not sure if it’s because the parents are conditioned to raise the kids so that “in the future” they will have a better chance. Every thing we do seems to be geared towards the future!

Sometimes it’s easy to lose track of the fact that one has to live at the present time, too!
So I guess I just over reacted, made a big fuss about nothing.

So here’s to today: Don’t worry, be happy!

On a different topic, I want to say thank you to our new sponsors! Please take time to check them out.

I’m not an early Saturday morning person. Friday nights are usually packed with crumbcatchers’ activities – plus last night, my husband and I did our usual "Friday date night", watched a movie OnDemand, sipped Margarita, munched on chips and salsa and ended the night with brownies ala mode.

However, this morning around 7:30am, my friend text’d me and asked if we’re running the “Run for Mom 5K Run” (www.CancerCare.org).

My reflexes replied, “no”, but then just a few nudge and I finally convinced myself that it would be nice to do it! It’s for a great cause, but mostly it’ll be my first ever race! Sometimes you need a friend to give you that push! And I was so glad, she did!

My friend and I have been training to run for our 5 mile run in November (whether we will actually do it or not still remains to be seen!).

﻿In 30 minutes (more or less), along with our friends, my husband and I ran our first official 5K run (3.2 miles) – and we were not even running out of breath!

It was one gorgeous Saturday morning! Great weather, great cause, and great company!

Aside from my husband, I was so thrilled that my first 5K was with my two dearest friends. And if not for my youngest, I wouldn’t have been close to these two wonderful ladies, two wonderful moms! ( big toast to friendships!)

So even though the run was intended to benefit breast cancer programs, I totally benefited from it!

The Big C has affected a lot of families including my own. My mom had a full hysterectomy a few years ago, my sister-in-law had a mastectomy a few months ago, a couple of my family friend’s parents are undergoing chemo treatments, and a cousin has just been diagnosed with throat cancer. And from all these experiences, there’s no better cure than the unwavering support and prayers from family and friends.

You, too, can make a difference. Now through November 24th, please visit the TicTac USA Facebook page to share how you have helped someone affected by cancer and TicTac will donate an additional $5 per unique user (up to an additional $100,000 to CancerCare!) So please visit www.facebook.com/tictacusa .

﻿Lastly, we all have aspirations. We all have dreams. We all want to branch out to reach for that star!

About GottaLoveMom

I'm Jenjen Furer - As a stay-at-home mom, I started “GottaLoveMom” as a hobby. I write about family, friends and the challenges of motherhood. I believe that “Motherhood is not a job. It’s a gift. It’s a happy simple life.” Learn more