It might not seem like it from an armchair, but fast-paced arcade games are a tricky art form, and often it only takes a few key flaws to ruin the experience. As you might guess given that I am starting the review in this way, The Black Hole That Wants to Eat Me has such flaws; it's mechanically sound, but it's ultimately a pretty simplistic and repetitive game that doesn't quite succeed at what it tries.

The game's premise is outlined in a puzzlingly wordy help document - you're a guy trying to escape from a black hole, and you can press two different buttons that help you escape from the black hole. To run away from your imminent doom, you press the Z key as fast as possible; to collect incoming powerups, you jump with the spacebar.

For the first few minutes, I didn't realize that it was possible to jump (this is I guess what happens when you don't read the directions before you play), and I have to say that the game was sort of more interesting that way. In order to collect powerups I was required to let the black hole pull me dangerously close and then scramble to escape, which added a bit of excitement to an otherwise not very interesting game. The game throws powerups your way with some frequency, but ultimately it's safest to just hang around the back of the screen, which isn't very interesting. The game does not reward risk-taking in any meaningful way - the only thing you have to gain by taking a risk is a temporary boost to your, well, ability to avoid risk (speed upgrades and things like that). It's not a particularly well-paced game in the first place, but with this in mind it's downright monotonous.

The aesthetics are a bit on the dull side. In contrast to the almost absurdly fleshed out storyline (given the scale of the game), the graphics are skeletal. Your character, whose existential musings take up an entire page, is represented onscreen by a stick figure. The starry void you're in is just your average starry void; the platforms you're on are just your standard grey platforms. The music fares slightly better, although it's pretty unmemorable considering how blaring the primary instrument's tone is.

This game could be interesting with a faster-paced and more varied execution, but as it stands it leaves me feeling indifferent. But that's just my take - it's well programmed enough to be worth a look if you find the concept intriguing.