Work 4 Peace,Hold All Life Sacred,Eliminate Violence! This is my often neglected blog mostly about my travels across country in my mobile billboard truck as I attempt to engage in dialogue with people in hopes to wake us up and inspire action to change our country and communities and selves. And it is froth with my opinions, insights, analyses toward that end of holding all life sacred, dismantling the empire and eliminating violence while creating the society and life we want

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Before I tell you what happened....

I will go to court this week to face the violent white man stranger who punched me in the face a year ago. He is pleading "not guilty" and the d.a. is going ahead with the trial.

Here is the piece I wrote after he battered me:

Before I tell you what happened, I have to tell you who I am

I am a strong womon, a womon who does not cower, a womon who
confronts bigotry

Before I tell you what he did, I have to tell you how I
stand in the world

I stand tall on Mother Earth, her black richness absorbed
thru my feet, (my feet rooted in her
black richness) my being flowing from the womyn who came before me, the
womyn who are here, the womyn who are to come

Before I tell you the story of violence, I have to tell you
the story of survival

I am daughter, granddaughter of survivors of the Holocaust;
I am the survivor of the isms: racism, sexism, anti-lesbianism; I am the
survivor of my husband’s violence

Before I tell you the story of my husband’s violence, I have
to tell you how I ended it

His angry footfalls booming warning up the outside stairs;
my baby, three weeks old, whisked off hidden in the bedroom closet, begging her
not to cry; the square, aluminum-clad electric frying pan filled with steaming
sloppy joes, the red arrow purposely being twisted from warm to high.

Before I tell you what he did, I have to tell you how I
would not allow it to happen

I face him, no longer pregnant, my very being now directed
from protecting the life inside me to protecting me … 43 years ago

Before I tell you what happened today, I have to tell you
who I have become

I am a womon who does not allow men to touch me, let alone
to make me weak

I am a womon who chooses to be me in the world, despite the
pervasive hovering dominance of white & male violence

Before I tell you what the violent white male stranger did
today, I have to tell you what my violent husband did then

He swept my wooden broom resting in the corner next to the
metal garbage can, into his huge, angry hands, advancing towards my back as I
slip the plug out of the frying pan and with my two determined hands, grab the
handle and whorl around to sling our now boiling dinner, his favorite meal, at
my seething husband.

I am a womon whose 19 years old self, no longer pregnant,
defends herself with scorching hamburger bits and blistering blood red sauce,
slung, not onto the advancing fuming
face of the man brandishing my broom, but at the last second, diverted to fly millimeters
left of his head.

But it is enough, the hot pungent mixture grazing an ear,
splattering a U.S. Air Force uniformed shoulder, to splat sizzling into kitchen
corners and onto the garbage can, not even slightly burning his body, but it is
enough to lower his hands, to halt his hostile advance mid-step as he looks at
me in shock when words fly with our dinner, you ..can ...not ..hurt ..me ..anymore.

I am a womon who does not allow men to hurt her; a womon who
knows self-defense; a womon who puts circles of protection around herself, her
child, her home.

Yet when the white male stranger stormed on his path toward
me today, I did not even see his fist let alone fathom his calm willingness to
casually haul off and punch me.

I wish I would have, after failing to block his blow,
thought to stick out my foot and trip him smashing his face into concrete as he
smoothly, safely, continued passed me into his house. I have amazing reflexes,
but they failed me today.

I wish I would have jumped on his huge back and pummeled his
round, balding head as he steadily marched across the sidewalk and then up the
stairs into his house.

The police, when they arrive, assume he is my
boyfriend/fiancée/husband/ex-intimate partner, my “other half” they say –
assaulted once again, this time by a white male face infused with kind smiles
and violent weapons.

“What did I do to provoke him” – this officer knows a
million ways how to ask that question without using those words; my thinly
disguised distain silences him:

·???My provoking stance: I do not cower when he
jumps out his car to threaten me, I do not lower my eyes and tremble when he bullies
me, I do not remain silent when he shouts at me

·???CODE provoking pink: has he seen me on the
news protesting marines, war, killing?

The officer ‘arrests’ him: i.e. he gets a piece of paper
with an ‘order’ to appear at the jail…at his convenience…to be finger printed,
photographed, given court date.

He punches a womon he doesn’t know & gets to get
processed “at his convenience”; I get arrested protesting military recruiting
of our youth, I get arrested attempting to protect our youth from the war
machine, I get handcuffed & hauled off in the back of a police car to be
detained in a jail cell after being photographed, fingerprinted, thoroughly
searched, questioned, and info recorded.

Assaulted once again by a system that protects and values
white male violence much more than my well-being.

Since I’ve told you what happened, I have to tell you how I
stand:

I stand tall on Mother Earth, her black richness absorbed
thru my feet, (my feet rooted in her
black richness) my being flowing from the womyn who came before me, the
womyn who are here, the womyn who are to come

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About Me

i'm now a 66 yr old (still with a golden age pass to get into national parks FREE) jewish lesbian anti-racist mother - and grandmother - striving radical womonist/feminist; daughter & granddaughter of survivors of the holocaust, mother of a young amazon healer & amazing human being, lover of wimmin & student of conscious living............even tho i am the one actually driving the truck, i could not even head out from home if it were not for the support of many, many, many wimmin (and several men as well). i am now working on trying to publish my book "But What Can I Do? A Handbook for change: myself, my community, my country. I still continue to offer Racism Awareness workshops geared for White people, NO DRONES workshops, and any other that is needed. if you want to help support this journey, please click the "Make a Donation" link below- it's secure!