Man Kidnapped At Gunpoint In Car By Three Women & Forced To Give Semen Samples

This story is pretty horrifying so hold on to your hats. A 33-year-old man in South Africa became an involuntary sperm donor when three women forced him at gunpoint into a BMW. They stopped under the pretense to ask him for directions as he walked down the street; that is when one of the assailants jumped out of the car pointing a shotgun at his head.

There were no photos of the actual women available so you will have to deal with this.

Once he was in the back of the car they drove into an alleyway where they attempted to, uh, get him in the mood. When they were unable to spark the excitement of the terrified man through manual stimulation of his penis, they forced him to drink an unknown liquid which quickly gave him an erection.

The trio of sperm thieves were then able to collect his “white gold” which they put in plastic baggies and kept fresh in a cold box. The man was then dumped back in a field near Port Elizabeth. And just if you thought things couldn’t get worse; when the man reported the sexual assault to authorities he was met with laughter and ridicule.

Authorities are saying this might not be the only carjacking off incident. Constable Mncedi Mbombo who is investigating the case says that the women may be part of a “semen harvesting cartel.” Well there is a combination of words you probably didn’t think you were going to read when you woke up this morning… or ever.

Some people enjoy pumpkin harvesting; some people enjoy running drug cartels, but this? Apparently women on the border with Zimbabwe sell stolen semen to “sangomas” –traditional healers who use it in rituals. And you thought your dad wearing that crusty old Giants sweatshirt he hasn’t washed since 1982 for good luck during every game was gross.