Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Interview With the Vapid

Had a job interview this a.m.
Cleaned up really good-looking sharp! Gathered all my documents and letters and set out.

I was lead to believe I was applying for a temp-to-hire 'supervisory document specialist' (boss file clerk). That's cool-last job started that way and within months I got promoted into claims (that's when I started blogging, by the way), so I figured I'd give it a shot.

I'm an impeccable ten minutes early. A security guy walks me back to a conference room, where I'm greeted by three interviewers- a white guy, a black guy and an Asian woman.
Believe it or not ,this is an often-used tactic when interviewing applicants,it's used to gauge the applicant's reaction to different genders and races. (Hint: If you get one of this interrogations, the best way to respond is to directly respond to the person who asks the question, while making eye contact once,but no more than twice, with the others. -This is the kinda shit they teach you in Government Supervisor School-really).

Well, Mr C, what sort of managerial style do you prefer?

I give my spiel about first assessing the goals desired and the resources available to work with-establishing workflow, consistent, yet flexible, blah, blah blah. I'm pretty good at this pitch.

And relevant experience?

I was directly responsible for all the out-going and incoming Census 2000 field assignments. The same for over 10,000 property claims after Hurricane Isabel et. al.
Here are letters from my last three bosses, and a certificate of recognition from the Census for my superior efficiency rating.

Gotta admit-it's a pretty nice spread.

They say they're very impressed, but that the position has been filled. They are , however prepared to offer me a position in shipping/recieving:loading and unloading for $9 an hour. Fuck! Unemployment pays more.

Thank god I put on my application that I cannot perform lengthy heavy lifting (bad arm), otherwise I might have had to accept this job.
Hmm...don't they read these applications?
Maybe they did, saw I can't do heavy labor, and made the offer -knowing full well I couldn't take it.
I bet they did a background check.
Fuck!

Space Is Deep

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