Kitchen Nightmares is a reality TV series on FOX where Chef Gordon Ramsay visits failing restaurants across America and tries to help them turn around. It aired its first episode on September 19, 2007.

Kitchen Nightmares and all related episodes and quotes are a copyright of A. Smith & Co. Productions, ITV Studios and Fox Broadcasting Company. The users, editors, administrators, nor founders of the Wikimedia Foundation do not claim ownership nor authorship of the contents on this page. The contents of this page are meant for reference purposes only. Neither Wikiquote nor its parent company, The Wikimedia Foundation, have any affiliation with A. Smith & Co. Productions, ITV Studios and Fox Broadcasting Company, or its parent company, News Corp, in any way, shape, or form.

Peter: (still raging at the now-departing bill collector) Have my (bleep) cock, you scumbag! Yeah, tough guy! (gets right next to his car and knocks on the window) Right now! Right now! (bill collector drives away anyway)

Gordon: (digging through the slugs in the tomato.) Look! It's (bleep) rotten, you (bleep) idiot! IT'S ROTTEEEEEEEEN!! Has a customer just been served a slice of tomato?!!

Server: No, no, no.

Gordon: So where is it?!!

Andrew: (interview) Oh my god.

(A customer starts eating the other half of the tomato.)

Martin: (interview) Things are looking pretty glum.

Gordon: No one is getting served from this (bleep) restaurant tonight! Let's make that clear! Yes or no? Anyone against that?

Andrew: No.

Gordon: No, good.

Martin: (interview) That didn't go down too good. He was extremely angry and extremely pissed off.

Gordon: We are not...ever...again serving any of this food. I don't give a (bleep) what anyone says. Can you go and tell them that the kitchen is closed? Right now! Out there and tell them the truth! Tell them now!

Andrew: (interview) Gordon was so outraged. So angry. I've never seen anything like it.

Gordon: (who can be heard in the dining room) FROM GREEN BURGERS, TO (bleep) FURRY CUCUMBERS, TO (bleep) RANCID POTATOES!!!

Gordon: This place can be phenomenal. The location is extraordinary. This is a new start. You have to treat it as a new beginning.

Mohammad: Exactly. Of course.

Gordon: I mean, in a perfect world, I would sacrifice one your managers to employ Vikas (Khanna)). You cannot carry driftwood in your business. Out of the three managers (flashes to Martin, Khan, and Andrew), one has to go. (Martin glares at Gordon) Between you and I, Martin has an amazing way of manipulating you. And he is not worth his weight in terms of what he brings to the table.

Martin: (interview) Hearing Gordon Ramsay say that to Mohammad, that makes me upset and angry. The frustration just boiled over. (approaches Mohammad) Tonight, tonight, Mohammad, I've never used you. I've respected you. I'm proud of what we've done. I've never cheated you. And I take --

Gordon: What's going on?

Martin: You're asking... for a manager to leave.

Gordon: Come on.

Martin: I've had enough! Because, you have been insulting me? You've accused me of riding on his back!

Gordon: Did you hear what I just said to him?

Mohammad: Martin?

Gordon: So... (to Mohammad) Let him go. Go on. Get it out. Get it off your chest.

Martin: No, that you...

Gordon: For the first time since I met you, show me that you're a man.

Martin: First, you accused me of riding on this man's...

Gordon: Why are you pointing like that?

Martin: Because I'm angry, okay? You want to see passion? I'm giving you passion. This person (Mohammad), I've respected. And you have the audacity to accuse of, like, taking his money...

Gordon: ...riding off his back?

Gordon: Riding off his back, is what you said. Well, that is disgusting. You don't have the right. You don't know that.

[The New York Dragons were not on the reservation list thanks to Mike]

Lisa: (interview) The Dragons were supposed to be on that list and Mike just forgot!

Lisa: How is that missed? How is that overlooked?

Mike: Someone-- the dragons just...

Lisa: Mike, that's what I'm saying.

Mike: I'm not sure what transpired.

Lisa: (interview) It was so upsetting. The was no Dragons on there!

Gordon: My god. For me, it's the most important table. That's embarrasing.

Lisa: You're overlooking extremely important things!

Mike: I was not told about the Dragons. I found out...

Lisa: Well, why do you keep saying that?

Mike: (losing it) Because I wasn't!! I wasn't told!!

Lisa: Excuse me, do not talk to me like that!

Mike: I was told at 7:00 this morning. THAT IT!!! Seriously, I'm pissed off!! DRAGONS ON THE PAPER!!! I'm pissed off!! Not my fault!! Dragons over here, I put them on at 7:00. COULD WE PLEASE MOVE ON?!!! THAT'S IT!!! NOT MY FAULT!!!

Gordon: (finding pesto) Oh, (bleep) hell. So that's the pesto I had for lunch. Just look at the colours in there. Look at that, it's mouldy.

Gordon: This is ten thousand times worse than I thought it would be.

Gordon: (to Peter) This is not a time - hey - to laugh and take a (bleep, bleep) out of me. I've eaten this (bleep). What's going on, Peter?

Gordon: (to Peter) You've got the nerves to tell me you clean the walls every (bleep) Tuesday? Touch it. (bleep) off, will you? Touch the wall, you dirty pig. (to the others) This is disgusting. I'm closing it down. (to Peter) How many has booked?

Peter: About twenty.

Gordon: Twenty - forget it. Get the place steam-cleaned from (bleep) head to tail. I don't care, but we're not cooking a (bleep) cookie out of here.

Gordon: I've never done that before, close down a restaurant, but that was a (bleep) embarassment. Seascape open? (slams closed sign over open one on sandwich board) Close the (bleep) place.

Gordon: When I first arrived here, we got off to a shaky start. Then we kept our heads down and we got through it together.

Sebastian: Yeah.

Gordon: And we made some really exciting changes. The menu's changed, the staff have changed.

Sebastian: Yes.

Gordon: Mate, there's one thing that hasn't changed in this establishment, and that's you Sebastian. I'm 40 years old, and I have gone a lot of restaurants, but I've never ever ever ever met someone I believe in as little as you.

Sebastian: (walks out of his restaurant) (bleep) arrogant! (bleep) that (bleep)! (to the production team) We're done! Get the (bleep) team out of here! (approaches back entrance) Chef Gordon! (breaks the door open) Chef Gordon! Where the (bleep) are you? Where are you?

Gordon: I'm here.

Sebastian: You come into my restaurant?

Gordon: Yes.

Sebastian: I'm just so (bleep) disappointed.

Gordon: Wait. Don't shout here. You're going to calm down?

Sebastian: Stop pointing your finger at me.

Gordon: Are you going to calm down?

Sebastian: Are we going to speak like men? You're going to speak to me like a man?

Gordon: You didn't listen to what I've told you.

Sebastian: You didn't listen to what I'm saying.

Gordon: Did you hear what I've just told you?

Sebastian: I'm stepping away from you, because I don't want to be too close.

Gordon: You ungrateful...

Sebastian: You have no idea!

Gordon: Nasty, vindictive...

Sebastian: You have no (bleep) idea!

Gordon: Joker!

Sebastian: (Bleep) you! (walks away)

Gordon: This is it? (follows Sebastian)

Sebastian: Yeah, it is it! You're very disappointing!

Gordon: I was expecting (bleep) (bleep) performance tonight!

Sebastian: Are you (bleep) kidding me?! Your whole act is a (bleep) joke!

Gordon: Stop laughing. Here we are with a restaurant that's financially (bleep) screwed and you're just helping yourself to wine and a four course dinner.

Lex: (interview) He takes little things every now and then, but I haven't seen him do something like that in a while.

Buzzard: Now, listen. I'm not going to stand there and argue with you. You can have that! Okay? (Walks out)

Gordon: This lady owns it. Buzzard? Unbelievable.

Lela: (interview) We were thinking that he was doing that but I hadn't caught him in the act and today, well there it is.

[Buzzard comes to work next morning]

Lela: (interview) I hate to have to fire anybody, but then you get to the point where if I can't get them to change what they're doing or whatever, then I have to get rid of him.

Gordon: Can I see your eyes? Take your glasses off. (Buzzard takes off his shades) Buzzard, anything that belongs inside this restaurant belongs to Lela. Yeah? End of story. Nothing gets taken off this premiscise.

Tabitha: (interview) If it was up to me, I'd fire Buzzard's ass.

Gordon: I get lots of people stealing from me and I just have one discipline, anyone who steals from me is out. End of story. Because, the message you send, They all see you do it, they all do it. Anyway, Lela, you're the one who's got to make the decision, it's your restaurant.

Lela: Yeah, so you know, I'm sorry but this is going to be it. All right? This is it.

Tabitha: (interview) Buzzard ain't going to be back here. He ain't going to be buzzing around here and he's truly a buzzard.

Gordon: The food's been in this fridge for so long, even the fridge is starting to get mouldy.

[Finds some mold.]

Gordon: Look, just here. It's like mold caped on. This place hasn't been cleaned for years. Look, it's real mould.

[Finds a bottle that has become moldy.]

Gordon: It's been in that long, even the bottle's mouldy. This place is a health hazard. Mould is festering, so, potentially dangerous in terms of poisoning someone. This place can't stay open. The place is dusgusting.

[Finds some potatoes that have been infested with maggots.]

Gordon: Maggots. Infested with maggots. Oh God!

[Gordon begins vomiting, so he gets out to puke at a different place.]

Devon: (interview) It was brilliant for him to be humbled. Michel was of an opinion that "Hey, if I want to serve dog (bleep) on a plate and the customer doesn't like it, too bad."

Gordon: God, this guy (Michel) is (bleep) unbelieveable. You know, that's one thing being that bad, that's solvable, but being in complete denial throughout is extraordinary. I've never met such a (bleep) hard-ass stubborn (bleep) in all my life.

[Day three, 8:27 a.m. - closed for business]

Narrator: Day three. Gordon is determined to get through to this stubborn chef with help from a little shock therapy.

[Signs read "Closed for business", "Foreclosed by bank", "Closed", and "Do not enter".]

Gordon: Okay, a new day, and I'm determined that is guy is going to finally start listening to what I'm trying to say. So this morning, I've shut the place down, I've bought it up and I'll make him understand that if doesn't start changing and listening to what I'm trying to say, that's the end result.

[Refering to the "Closed for business" sign.]

Gordon: And that's the end result that no restaurant wants to see.

Gordon: (taking off his jacket.) (Bleep) hell.

Narrator: With the restaurant on the verge of success, Chef Michel is insisting on reverting back to his old ways and Gordon has reached his breaking point.

Michel: Thank you very much.

Gordon: Cut the (bleep). You don't care anymore. Just get straight to the (bleep) answer.

Gordon: No, it hasn't, I'm sorry. Twenty-one years in the business, I'll bet every (bleep) dollar that I have, this (bleep) place hasn't been cleaned in years.

Gordon: Un-(bleep)-believeable. So that just proves and confirms how weak this guy is. He's not running this place, this place is running him, and is in need of a (bleep) serious clean. That is appalling.

Gordon: A restaurant run by three passionate owners? No chance. Brian, he works two days a week. David, well I don't trust him one little inch. And as for Greg, well he's pissed off at both of them. Basically in a nutshell, Sleepy, Dopey and Grumpy. Who am I? Snow (bleep) White?

Gordon: You tell me about the passion with the Maine lobsters. Are you aware that the lobsters in your fridge are Canadian?

David: Same waters, North Atlantic waters.

Gordon: You're telling me now...a Canadian lobster, half the price of a Maine lobster, is the same taste and flavor? There's a big difference. I can't get Maine lobsters.

David: That's right, so they get them from Canada.

Gordon: I'm using Canadian lobsters.

David: That's right. That's what they do.

Gordon: But I don't advertise them as "Maine".

David: You tell me, is it a different animal?

Gordon: "Maine" is a "Canadian" lobster for you?

David: Homarus Americanus. Same animal, right?

Gordon: Holy (bleep)...

David: I'm asking you a question.

Gordon: What you're trying to dictate to me is that you're selling "Maine" lobster- they're not from Maine.

Gordon: [to David] You're so full of (bleep) that you'd make a great politician.

Gordon: You amaze me.

David: What?

Gordon: Because all week long, face-to-face, you (bleep) pretend to care.

David: Oh, (bleep), Gordon. Come on.

Gordon: You don't give two (bleep) about this place.

David: Really?

Gordon: You're not passionate about running a restaurant.

David: Really?

Gordon: You're just abusing it and using it.

David: How did I- what, what, what did I do?

Gordon: I've never met an individual that's so full of (bleep) in all my life.

David: How have I been lying to you, Gordy? How? Tell me.

Gordon: Gordy?

David: Yeah, how? You want to disrespect me, I can disrespect you too. But tell me how I'm lying to you.

Gordon: I'm not disrespecting you, I'm telling you the truth.

David: No, you're disrespecting me 'cause you don't know the truth.

Gordon: You're just massaging your (bleep) ego.

David: Gordon, bull (bleep).

Gordon: What do you mean, bull (bleep)?

David: Not true.

Gordon: From the first minute you walked in this (bleep) door, standing there with your big long coat and your (bleep) sunglasses looking like a proud (bleep), that was it. First impressions. Then you start debating lobsters 'cause you think you're some smart-arse on the back of few (bleep) (bleep) dive books.

Gordon: [flashback] Are you aware that the lobsters in your fridge are Canadian?

David: [flashback]Homarus americanus. Same animal, right?

Gordon: "Humanus americanus," my arse-us.

David: Hmm.

Gordon: With 21 restaurants under my belt, I work my (bleep) arse off.

David: So what? So what?

Gordon: And I never take anything for granted.

David: [sarcastically] Fascinating, Gordon.

Gordon: You treat the staff like (bleep). You amaze me.

David: Never. Never do that.

Gordon: Excuse me?

David: Never.

David: [flashback] Cat, it's policy here for you not to have a drink here after your shift, but you often do.

David: Never.

Gordon: You can't even be honest with yourself, let alone me. Mate, you've been exposed.

David: Exposed?

Gordon: You're a hypocrite.

David: Is that right?

Gordon: Absolutely. For you, it's about a (bleep) TV show. This man [points to Greg], it's about a restaurant. (Bleep) the TV, David. And I mean (bleep) it. This is real for me. And for you, it's an image.

Gordon: What a beautiful, quaint little town. I can't think of a better way to spend Valentine's Day than at Hannah &... (sees that the sign is missing the N from "Mason's", making it look like it's "Hannah & Maso's") Maso's? I guess they couldn't afford the "N." That's not a good start.

[Gordon goes down to the walk in fridge]

Gordon: I cannot believe that this is how you guys are running a restaurant!

Chris: (interview) Through my head, I was thinking "We're going to be screwed!"

Gordon: That's what in there?

Chris: That's the walk in freezer.

Gordon: That's the walk in freezer? Look at the mess in here! What's this here?

Brian: Bacon.

Gordon: Bacon. Yeah obviously bacon smart arse! That's from lunch? Yeah, five years ago! You leave a spatula in there like that? I'm sorry. No. I cannot believe what you guys are doing here.

Chris: There was so much going on. My head was spinning. My head was about to explode. I thought to myself, this is a disaster.

Gordon: Wow, look at the size of that. That's a lot of "krab". ... And you haven't told me about the "K" yet.

Erica the waitress: Oh, he said he wanted everybody to know that it wasn't real crab, it's artificial crab. So he spelled it with a K so there was no misconception.

Gordon: So it's fake crabmeat?

Erica: Uh-huh.

Gordon: In a seafood restaurant, on the water?

[After taking a bite of some rubbery fish and chips]

Gordon: When you take a bite of that cod, it's almost like you've got a breaded condom in your mouth.

[During a kitchen inspection]

Gordon: This is salmon that is marinated in... that looks like... [he smells it] an Italian dressing. Oh dear. [finds tuna that has been dyed pink] What's this? Seafood restaurant on the water. Tuna that's dyed pink to make it look authentic. Look at it, my God. Unbelieveable. And here we have... [he finds a rissoto] That looks like a mushroom rissoto, gray rissoto. Unbelieveable.

Gordon: And it's (bleep) disgusting. You're jumping up and down like a big (bleep) baboon and "Ho, ho! It's good!" Whoo!

Gordon: Watching this restaurant perform is embarrassing. Fake (bleep) crab meat inside of sole? It's pretty obvious, it's become the appendix of restaurants in Stamford. You just want to get rid of it and get it out.

Narrator: With food now coming back, it's a perfect opportunity for Gordon to witness Sammy's customer service skills.

Sammy: How did you want your meat cooked? Did you want it rare?

Lady: I wanted it medium rare.

Sammy: So can we make you another one? Will you wait or you don't want it all?

Lady: I'll wait, but the thing is I don't want you to stick it back in a microwave.

Sammy: No, we're going to throw that out and make you a new one. Nobody's talking about microwave. You're the one who's talking about microwave.

Lady: It came out of a microwave, otherwise it wouldn't be exsuding heat.

Sammy: Do you work for a microwave company? You know so much about microwave. Unbelieveable. Unbelieveable. Get the (bleep) out of here. Tell her to take a hike.

Customers: That is rude. Wow. To speak to a customer like that, that's disgusting.

[Later when the lamb is recooked and brought back to the lady, the restaurant breaks out in applause]

Sammy: No wait, we're not done yet. I wanna see you cut into it. How is it? Is it still too rare?

Lady: You know what? I'm done. No more chances.

Sammy: Unbelieveable. (interview) Oh my god. I just wanted to pick her up and throw her out. There's a right way and a wrong way of handling something like that and she was totally wrong.

Gordon: Oh, everything's Friday? Let me just show you something, look how green and slimy that is. That's from Friday? Look at that, that's from Friday? Look at my fingers, Friday? Look, look (pours the juice from the tray) there you go. That's from Friday? How do you say in Spanish "This is not healthy"?

Patti: No es saludable.

It is not healthy.

Gordon: Thank you. What is going on in here? A hungry cat would walk away from that.

Patti: (interview) I was mortified. I felt embarassed for letting this go on for so long.

Gordon: The fridge is full of (bleep)! It's, it's DISGUSTING! I wasn't here on Saturday, but what were they expecting? (Bleep) ten thousand customers for lunch? Patti, I'm (bleep) disgusted. Yolanda, that's a joke.

Yolanda: I understand. (interview) I don't want people to get sick and I don't want them to spread the word that the food is bad here.

Gordon: (to Vic) You're overstaffed. Under-worked. (bleep) food! I wouldn't trust you running a bar, let alone a (bleep) restaurant! You must be out of your tiny mind!

Vic: I care for the restaurant.

[Gordon grabs the bucket and shoves it toward Vic]

Gordon: I wanna take that out there. I dare you, take it out there. Go on, give it to them! Yeah, there you go.

Vic: Excuse me?

Gordon: Look at me! Why won't you take it out there?

Vic: That's embarrassing.

Gordon: Yeah, it is embarrassing. WHY ARE YOU SERVING IT?! YOU DON'T (bleep) CARE!

Vic: Why?

Gordon: Why?! Because you're serving that and trying to charge people money for that. That's why you don't care.

Vic: I care for-

Gordon: YOU DON'T CARE (bleep)! No (bleep) way!

[Gordon picks up the bucket of beans, carries it through to the dining room, and places it on a table in front of the shocked diners]

Gordon: (Bleep)! Ladies and gentlemen! I'm so sorry but we're stopping service. Everything you've had to drink, eat so far is all on the house. Sir, that thing you have in your hand, put it down! Because if you just seen where it came from like I have, you wouldn't be eating it. Very sorry. Close up. (to Vic) No bill anywhere!

Vic: (interview) I was like "What the hell are you doing?" You can't do that to my customers.

Gordon: By the way, there's your re-fried beans on the way out. Have a look at them.

Narrator: While the family cools off, Chef Ramsay heads to the kitchen to come up with a game plan to fix the restaurant's biggest plan — the food.

[Gordon sees a cockroach on the surface next to where he's set up some burrito ingredients.]

Gordon: Oh my God. What in the (bleep) is that? (tries to trap the cockroach, and finds more of them) That is a (bleep) joke.

[Gordon calls out Vic, Patti and Yolanda.]

Gordon: I wanted us all to get involved, and doing something together, yeah? I wanted a fun element. You (Patti) make a burrito, you (Yolanda) make a burrito, you (Vic) make a burrito, and the best one goes on the menu tonight. That's what I wanted to do. I couldn't do it, because of these little (bleep) here. LOOK AT THEM!

[We see that the kitchen is infested with dozens of cockroaches. The women look disgusted]

Yolanda: Oh my god! (interview) I feel sick to my stomach. I want to throw up, because I had coffee here earlier, and I don't know if the roach went through my cup.

Patti: I didn't know about this problem either.

Gordon: Two dishwashers, two prep cooks. Who's cleaning around here? Do they seriously put food on those plates?

Patti: (interview) Vic's here seven days a week. I don't know how he didn't realize the problems in the kitchen.

Gordon: Can't you see these? I'm trying to move forward, I'm trying to get going, but every time I put my foot on the ladder, I get knocked back. Did you know this was like this?

Vic: I noticed, I noticed, but, uh...

Gordon: You knew it?

Vic: Yeah.

Gordon: We're going to have to do something! We cannot open, we need an exterminator. How can I start even attempting to think of a new menu when the place is festering with cockroaches?!

Yolanda: I didn't expect this. I don't think it could get worse, I don't even know what could make it worse at this point.

[An exterminator's truck is shown arriving at the restaurant]

Narrator: After Chef Ramsay's dirty discovery, he immediately called in an exterminator.

Gordon: I thought people got pushed into a mortuary on trolleys, no? Not serving food.

[Cafe 36's biggest problem is the long wait times for your meal.]

Female Customer: I feel like I'm drinking more than I'm eating.

Male Customer: I think they gotta catch the shrimp first.

Gordon: Eduardo, no wonder you've grown so old. You've aged waiting for the last main course. [Eduardo and the other servers laugh]

[It's the middle of February and Pinto, the head chef, is serving asparagus for the 'veggie of the day']

Gordon: What are these up here for? They're not even in season, asparagus, are they?

Pinto: No. Not right now, they're very expensive.

Gordon: They're very expensive, so why have you got them on?

Pinto: They're veggie of the day.

Gordon: Veggie of the day? Aren't you bothered about the cost?

Pinto: It comes from a different part of the world, Chef. We can get it.

Gordon: 'It comes from a different part of the world'? [to the sous-chef] Are you listening to this?! [to Pinto] It's the most expensive vegetable on the market. You want that?! And it's out of season! And you just put them on four dishes!

Gordon: This is incredible. Right through those doors has to be for me one of the worst restaurants I've ever seen in my entire cooking career. The chef doesn't give a (bleep), the owner's completely clueless and not any form of communication between the kitchen and the restaurant and the management. It's a (bleep) shandles.

[8:58 PM, two hours into dinner service]

Gordon: What are we waiting on Ashley?

Ashley: I'm still waiting on chicken pancotta with penne marinara, an individual kids pepperoni pizza, half order spaghetti with meat sauce, eggplant parmesean with angel hair meat, chicken pancotta angel hair marinara, three chicken parms and a veal parmesean ...for just one table. (interview) I really felt like crying because it was that embarrassing for me.

Gordon: Erick, can I have your undivided attention?

Erick: Sure.

Gordon: Nothing's happening. We served one table of four, one table of two. For the last three tickets, half an order's gone out, the other half is still on the board. You haven't got a clue what's going on. You're (Drew) running around crazy. What chance have we got serving 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, tables? You asked for one more crack at lunch time. "Let me go big boy! Let me go! I want to do it again!" We're spinning around and serving (bleep)! Do me a favour, close the (bleep) restaurant! I can't stand any longer and watch that embarrassment. I need the door (bleep) closed! Forget it! Good night!

Gordon: I can't even start with a chef that can't even know how to cook something basic. Why are you pulling a chef that is that incompentent? Darling, he's not in the slightest bit of interest of (bleep) making it work, he doesn't give a (bleep) about his cooking, doesn't give a (bleep) you and he's here for one thing and one thing only, money. And the only restaurant that (bleep) guy will ever get a job is in a restaurant that doesn't have any customers. If you've got any chance of surviving here, get rid of him. What are you scared of? Talk to me.

Nylah: Where am I going to find another chef?

Gordon: Drew. What's wrong with Drew?

Nylah: Drew, I think can carry it on.

Gordon: So get rid of him!

Nylah: Okay.

Gordon: Unbelieveable.

Erick: Babe, I'm sorry.

Nylah: No, no, just wait a minute. Jeremy come here.

Erick: I feel real bad.

Nylah: The whole thing is, this isn't the first time you've let us down. I just can't do it. I know but I just can't do it. You guys get your paycheck every week. Jeremy and I never take a dime out of here.

Erick: We understand that.

Nylah: I know but I mean, the whole thing is not going to work because you...

Erick: Okay so what do you want to do?

Nylah: We're going to part ways.

Erick: Okay that's no problem. Dammit! I (bleep) on that deal.

Nylah: (interview) He couldn't pull off lunch, couldn't pull off dinner and so we just had to let him go. You know I can't do this.

[8:30 AM, day two - kitchen inspection. Gordon walks into a refrigeration unit.]

Gordon: (Bleep) almighty, where do we start in a place like this? [looking at a roast beef] Roast beef, dating back when? [looking at meat that has been defrosting] What is that there? Just meat defrosting, again no sign of what it is. [looking at a parma ham that is moldy] Fresh parma ham, it's caked in mould. This is outrageous. [he touches the base of it, and it stuck on his hand] Look at it. It sticks in your (bleep) hand, it's that rancid. [looking a a rack of ribs, which made him sick] Woh, (bleep) hell. That's just over three months old. [he smells it] (Bleep) almighty. Oh God. [he ran to a bin to puke]

Narrator: After witnessing one of the worst kitchen walk-ins he has ever seen, Gordon moves on to an area outside the kitchen that restaurants are judged upon - the bathroom.

Gordon: One of the best ways to check the hygiene of any restaurant is always through these bathrooms. Turn that [a blue UV light] on, and turn the lights off. Right, this can be quite scary. [he checks out one of the walls] Oh my good God. Green and yellow identifies bodily fluids. Any form of bleach or any form of cleaning will be identified through the colour blue, but the body fluids on here is extraordinary. [he checks the ceiling] Look, as high as the ceiling, oh my God. Even the ceiling's caked in it, OH MY GOD! This is shocking. [a sign reads "Wash your heads"] Wash your hands, yeah. Honestly, I've seen enough. Let's get the (bleep) out of here.

Gordon: (to Nylah) Nylah, the state of that fridge in there confirms whoever's running this place in terms of kitchen management has given up. They don't give a (bleep) about you, and they don't give a (bleep) about standards.

Gordon: (to Nylah) Having a dirty refrigeration unit is one thing. Having a filthy bathroom is something that (bleep) scares the hell out of me.

Gordon: That there has got nothing to do with any form of cleaning. Look at the (bleep) state of this. Green, green, green, green, green. And here's where it gets really scarry.

[The UV light is shown towards the ceiling.]

Nylah: How the hell did it get up there? (interview) It looked like somebody may have peed on the ceiling, the walls, the doors, you know. It could be a throw-up. I can't even imagine, you know. And it made me sick, I didn't even want to touch the door-knob coming out myself.

Gordon: It's soft, bland, rubbery. I didn't realise it would be this bad.

Chief: (to Maureen) Mitch can be blind and I'm not kidding you. He's (bleep) me over here. All you have to do is do what I told you.

Maureen: Yeah. Well, I'm not even going there, Dad.

Gordon: (to Chief) You're from Ireland.

Chief: Yes.

Gordon: What happened here today had nothing to do with Ireland. Shepherd's pie - well, (bleep) me, that wasn't shepherd's pie. If you went to Dublin and you serve shepherd's pie like that, they would chew you.

Gordon: What is that? How old are they?

Gabriel: They're not old. Two days.

Gordon: That's two days old? It's a funny two days. How are you going to re-cook them? Help me. What are you going to do?

Gabriel: Re-fry it.

Gordon: You re-fry it?

Gabriel: Yes.

Maureen: So it's fried twice. (interview) I want to throw up.

Gordon: There's not enough liquid in that bar to get them inebriated enough to even attempt to eat that. Is there any control in here guys?

[Gordon finds some mozzarella sticks.]

Gordon: What is that?

Gabriel: Mozzarella sticks.

[Gordon finds some blood in the mozzarella sticks.]

Gordon: Can you see that there? Blood, blood from where?

Gabriel: From the meat.

Gordon: Blood from the meat on the mozzarella sticks.

[Gordon puts down the mozzarella sticks.]

Gordon: Come on, guys. Thank God I didn't have the (bleep) mozzarella sticks. Look like a blood transfusion going on down there.

Chief: (interview) I knew I had a problem with Mitch as far as the supervised was concerned, but I didn't think it was this bad, you know.

[Gordon finds some meat in the refrigerator.]

Gordon: You've got raw meat here, cooked meat, salami with blood in there. (Bleep), come on, please. Don't do this to yourselves, let alone the customers. Rule number one: When learning to cook, you cannot store raw meat and cooked meat on the same (bleep) shelf in the same (bleep) fridge. The whole (bleep) thing has got a cross-contamination. (to Chief) Chief, give me something.

Chief: There's a lack of supervision in here.

[Gordon finds some slimy chicken tenders.]

Gordon: What's in there?

Gabriel: Tenders.

Gordon: Chicken tenders. Why is it all bubbly and slimy?

Gabriel: The chicken comes like that.

Gordon: The chicken comes like that. Look how slimy it is, look how slimy it is. Look at it. (Bleep)!

Maureen: (interview) My God, it's ribid, it's so embarassing.

[Gordon finds a big piece of salmon.]

Gordon: What is this? How can you serve that? It's like it's been left out for days and it's been attacked by cats.

Gordon: I would never, never have put a spoon of anything in my mouth if I knew this was taking place.

Annette: (interview) It's shocking to see just the extent of cross-contamination. There's no check-up.

Gordon: (to Chief) Sorry, Chief. You may be the chief, but I swear to God, there's one thing that Grasshopper hasn't got is a LEADER.

Maureen: (interview) We should all be ashamed of ourselves. At this point in time, I'd like to shot the doors and just say, "You know what? Break it off."

Gordon: (to Mitch, Maureen and Chief) Someone's gotta help me here a little bit. I cannot help a situation who are not willing to help themselves, and you don't need me to come in here and turn your fridge upside-down. Mitch, if you're the one with the hands-on deck in this business, and you're (Maureen) supporting him, and you're (Chief) the mentoring figure, we're screwed.

Maureen: We have people coming tonight. What are we going to do?

Gordon: I can guarantee you one thing. I am NOT serving food tonight with that (bleep) in there - no way.

[Gordon personally brings back a poorly prepared Shepherd's Pie to the kitchen.]

Gordon: What is that? Let me just tell you something, when I was busting my chops earlier making it for you, I turned my back for five minutes and you send that out.

Mitch: Chef.

Gordon: Chef? Come on, guys. On the back of 115 customers in 2 1/2 hours, results are that.

Annette: (interview) Chef Ramsay was like, "To hell with all these!" There was like no passion, no care for any of the food coming out.

Gordon: All you (bleep) get paid?! WHERE'S THE WORRY ON YOUR FACES?! IF YOU WERE MY BRIGADE, I WOULD'VE FIRED YOU (bleep) SIXTEEN YEARS AGO!! YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU and (bleep) YOU!!!

[Abby lies on the chairs after receiving a harsh critique from Gordon]

Abby: So what do I do? Like, just get out of the restaurant business? Then, obviously, my thirty years in business is, like, worthless and I have no idea what the (bleep) I am doing? Okay! I think I'm going to open that hot dog stand down the beach.

Mini: Want some tea or something?

Abby: No!

[During a staff meeting]

Abby: I don't really care what he says.

Will: Well, I mean...

Abby: He's so completely full of (bleep). Like, seriously? Our meat loaf is, like, what puts us on the map! I mean, it's great!

Nick: I don't like the meat loaf.

Abby: (flabbergasted) You really don't?

Nick: Honestly, I don't.

Mini: We had it the other night together.

Abby: What? What didn't you like about it?

Mini: The food is mediocre, if it's not...

Abby: Mini-Me, seriously!? You're telling me now you don't like it!?

Mini: We eat it because we're here. This is not my restaurant choice. I wouldn't dine here in my off time.

Abby: (testimonial) I feel stabbed in the back, I guess. (back at the staff meeting) You're just hitting me with this, now?

Nick: You know what we're up against if we even opened our mouths about the menu once? Every time we open our mouths, "(bleep) off!" "(bleep) you!" "You don't know anything!" We're all at a point now where we're just like, "If this is what she wants, let's just serve it out! We'll take it out of the window and bring it to the table!"

Mini: (to Abby) Don't try to make a fuss out of it.

Nick: And we're going to have an opinion about now.

Abby: Oh, you're so full of (bleep)! (walks out of the meeting)

Mini: (tries to bring Abby back) No, no, no, no, no.

Abby: This is (bleep)!

Mini: Talk to us! (testimonial) Without a doubt, she's in denial.

[Gordon has found rotting food in the refrigerator]

Gordon: You haven't got a head chef?

Abby: Jimmy is my head chef.

Gordon: So we have a head chef. Before, you weren't ready to confirm he was a head chef. All of a sudden, we discover this mess down here. Now, he's appointed.

Abby: Rico, why don't we just sell the place and just get out of the business?

Gordon: Why don't we what?!

Abby: I was talking to Rico. It has nothing to do with you.

Gordon: Has nothing to do with me?

Abby: No.

Gordon: Excuse me? What do you think I'm doing? I'm trying--

Abby: You're being a (bleep)! This wasn't like this. I don't run a kitchen like this!

Narrator: When Chef Ramsay goes to work on any of the restaurants, he always does a thorough kitchen inspection. And while some are absolutely fine, others are a disgusting mess. Here are the three worst inspections in Kitchen Nightmares history.

Number three: Fiesta Sunrise, a Mexican restaurant in West Nyack, New York.

Gordon: Oh (bleep)! I've been feeling a little bit crap all afternoon. What are you two doing?

Jim: I (bleep) up.

Gordon: "I (bleep) up."

Jim: Well, what do you want me to say?

Gordon: I want you to step up to the plate and be a man!

Jim: I screwed up!

Gordon: You haven't told anyone yet.

Jim: (interview) He was just being a jerk! He's an ass. I'm so tired of him just pushing and pushing!

Gordon: Grow some (bleep) and take it off the menu!

Jim: (interview) I've had enough. I'm so pissed! I can only take so much before I fight back.

Jeff: (Jim steps out of the kitchen and walks into the dining room.) Jim! Jim!

Jim: Out of the way! (announcing) Ladies and gentlemen! Due to certain circumstance, we have no chicken tonight. (Gordon groans) My apology to everyone here. If you just want to have what you're eating now and leave, I understand fully and I apologize.

Gordon: Hey, there may have been a more subtle way of doing that.

Jim: Get out of my way, (Bleep)! We cancelled all our chicken orders. We got screwed!

Gordon: Will you stop acting like a baby?

Jim: Oh, grow it out of your (bleep)!

Gordon: Excuse me?!

Jim: You heard it!

Gordon: Hey, you need a little diaper changing? That time of night?

Jim: I'll give you something!

Gordon: A little poo-poo? Cacked your pants?

Jim: (interview) He's the baby. He's the one that's whining over everything. I don't need to hear this crap.

Gordon: Jim, why do you have to behave like this?

Jim: I'm not going to get yelled at!

Gordon: You're acting around like a big baby. I'm just asking you to grow up a little bit! Show a little respect for what you're trying to cook.

Jim: (Bleep) off!

Gordon: Oh, my god! You big wet noodle! Do you want a blanket and a bottle?

Darian: Oh yeah. They don't get their way, they cry or throw a temper tantrum.

Gordon: Oh, my god. To walk into the dining room like that and scream.

Darian: That's what I said. A temper tantrum. (interview) There's a part of me that's very satisfied to see the boys finally get what they deserve. A lesson in humility. (back in the kitchen) Hahaha!!!

[after dinner service]

Gordon: Okay, today can be summed up in one four letter word: lazy. I can't even start to help both of you when you're not even helping yourselves. I really needed to do something. Both of you, go through your kitchen and clean it. Not your staff, you, both of you. Got it?

Jeff and Jim: Yeah.

Gordon: Good night. Get to work. [leaves]

Jeff: (interview) We were lazy. Now we're paying for it. We're failures.

Jeff: Yay.

Jim: [sobbing while cleaning a refrigerator grate] It's making it dirtier. Can't...do this.

Jeff: What's wrong Jim?

Jim: I can't clean anything. I'm a failure. I'm making a mess. (interview) I feel bad. We are in trouble. I really don't know if we can fix it. That's the problem.

Jim: I'm not cleaning anything up.

Jeff: Go take a break Jim.

Jim: No, I can't take a break, cause I'm too lazy as it is. I'm fine. I gotta clean this up.

Darryl:[interview] I like to have everything in quantitative perspective. If I give too much, you get a happy customer here, you don't get a good customer. They're happy because they're getting three times what they should be getting, and I'm getting nothing. I don't make money on that.

Moe:[interview] That's my favorite dish on the menu. And that duck is not going nowhere. This is gonna stay quacking on my menu.

Moe: I don't give a (bleep) if he doesn't like it. [takes a bite] Man, this duck is so (bleep) good, man. (interview) Oh my gosh, (kisses).

Moe: Hey look, that's the skin.

Rami: It's tough. (interview) Moe doesn't get it. He doesn't want to listen, he still thinks it's tender. I don't know what kind of teeth he has.

Moe: You know what? I'd like him to come back here and cook the duck and show him what his duck look like. We're going to call it the "Gordon duck!" (laughs; Gordon can hear it.) It's going to be a British duck right there! (laughs)

Gordon: What the hell's going on in there?

Rami: How's it going, Chef?

Gordon: They're laughing. What is going on in there?

Rami: The food is coming back to the kitchen and they think it's a joke.

Moe:[interview] Chef Ramsay is clueless. I really don't think that British can cook. Period.

Gordon: Damon, executive chef? How long have you been here?

Damon: About six and a half months.

Gordon: I don't know where to start, but here's the thing: the food is embarrassing. No passion, no flavour. The crab cakes, they weren't made fresh. Do you freeze crab cakes? Damon?

Damon: No.

Gordon: You don't freeze them? Soggy, covered in sauce?

Rami: Chef, I'd like to step on this side, to be on your side, because they do freeze the crab cakes. (interview) I had to step from that line and go to Chef Ramsay's side. How is he going to help us if you're lying to him?

Gordon: Why are we lying to each other here? Are they frozen, yes or no?

Damon: Yes.

Gordon: They are? Why do you want to (bleep) me? I could taste they're frozen.

Moe: But there's a good reason why we freeze the crab cakes.

Gordon: Tell me the good reason behind freezing crab cakes.

Moe: Because we don't have enough customers here to serve the crab cakes, so the only thing to prevent them from going bad is to freeze them.

Gordon: Why make so many?

Moe: The batch is big basically.

Gordon: I don't understand this.

Rami: Why would you make a big batch?

Moe: (interview) Rami... (bleep) you, you just sold me out to (bleep) Chef Ramsay!

Gordon: Damon, when was the duck cooked?

Damon: I can't give you an answer.

Gordon: Oh, come on! I mean, what the (bleep) is this?

Damon: I don't know.

Gordon: You don't know when the duck was cooked?!

Damon: No.

Gordon: Do you know when the duck was cooked?

Chef: No sir, I don't.

Gordon: Do you know when the duck was cooked? [another chef shakes his head] HOLY (bleep)!

Moe: I know when the (bleep) duck was cooked! I know!

Gordon: WELL, THANK (bleep) FOR THAT!!! SOLVE THE MYSTERY!

Moe: We cook the duck off the premises. And we usually cook it about once a month.

Gordon: You cook the duck off the premises?

Moe: Yes, in our commissary kitchen.

Gordon: And it stays in the fridge for a month?!

Damon: Freezer.

Gordon: Oh, (bleep)! So, you cook the duck, you freeze it, and then you bring it in like a shipment?

Damon: How many (bleep) times do you want me to say it?

Gordon: Because I'm (bleep) embarrassed! You're just (bleep) me because you haven't got the (bleep) to step up to the (bleep) plate!

Damon: (approaches Gordon and gets in his face) Well, this is me stepping up to the (bleep) plate!

Gordon: WELL, TELL THE (bleep) TRUTH THEN!!

Damon: What the (bleep) else do you need to know?!

Gordon: The truth!!

[Rami and Moe push Damon back]

Rami: You can't do that! You can't do that!

Gordon: HOW (bleep) DARE YOU?!!

Rami: You need to chill out! You cannot do that! He's here to help us fix the problem!

Gordon: Do I not deserve the (bleep) truth? I asked you if (the crab cakes) are frozen, you lied. I said when did you cook the duck? "I don't know." Why couldn't you be honest? If that's how deluded you guys are, that you can't even tell me the truth, I'm really sorry. I'm not here to help (bleep)liars, let me tell you that. Do you know what? I don't know where to even start. (leaves) (bleep)!

Gordon: (finding tons of pasta in the fridge) I'm trying to help you understand the method in your madness.

Damon: Hey, (bleep), I'm not the one who just said it was done yesterday! I asked my prepper--

Gordon: You can call me a (bleep) all you want. So get (bleep) angry with me.

Damon: You're standing right here hearing me ask the person who knows and I gave you his answer, not mine.

Gordon: Right, who's the (bleep) chef around here?

Damon: I am.

Gordon: Right. Bags of jambalaya, in the fridge, warm. Have you any idea what happens to jambalaya in the fridge when it's still warm in the center?

Chef: Grows the bacteria?

Gordon: Grows the bacteria. (finds bins of crabs) And how many crabs are you selling, "chef," over the next (bleep) three months? Loss for words...Really?! Another box of crab cakes. When were these made? No date, you see, "chef."

Moe: (interview) There was nothing but dollar signs going through my mind. Soft shell crabs, jambalaya, crawfish étouffée thrown straight down the garbage. Chef Damon basically just took the money right out of our pockets.

Gordon: (finds a dirty tray) I don't what you think you should be taking out of containers... and sort of... cleaning out your fridge from time to time. One (bleep) question to you: who's the (bleep) now, "chef"?

Damon: I am. (his eyes twitch)

Gordon: I didn't come in here to humiliate you, but how DARE you serve me food from this disgusting fridge, then STAND there, and call me an (bleep), "chef!" Excuse me... "chef."

[Gordon walks to where the grill is smoking]

Gordon: Who told you to put oil under there?

Chef: Damon.

Gordon: The chef? So you spray the grill with oil? [cough][cough], (bleep) (bleep)!

Moe: I NEED THIS (bleep) PLACE SCRUBBED DOWN, TOP TO BOTTOM! I WANT THE TVs WIPED! I WANT THE PIANO WIPED! I WANT THIS PLACE CLEAN! WHAT PART DON'T YOU (bleep) UNDERSTAND?! [throws down a chair] WE JUST SHUT DOWN THE (bleep) RESTAURANT!!! TONIGHT!!! NOBODY SEEMS TO GET THAT (bleep)!!! CLEAN THIS (bleep) MESS!!!

Gordon: I'm going to do some work in the kitchen. Do you have any recipes...on pen and paper?

Moe:[points to his head] Right here.

Gordon: What?!

Moe: Right here.

Gordon: So why aren't they on pen and paper? Why haven't we got a database?

Moe: I like to keep my recipes secrets. If I put them on a piece of paper, I don't want anyone to steal them.

Gordon: So do I. I'm here to help. I don't want to see you running around killing yourself like a busy idiot. I've just gone over the fact that we haven't got any recipes on paper, and all in your head. You're worrying about writing them down for some other chef copying them and making their restaurants more successful than yours. I'm in the real world. That's where I am. You're treating me like one of your (bleep) staff. Well, let me tell you, Moe, I'm not a member of your staff. Flip the table, punch me, do the (bleep) what you wanna do. But don't (bleep) with me.

Gordon: Am I seeing right? You've got a three-burner wok there. Is that a pizza oven?

Shelly: Yes, that is my pizza oven. And the wok. I love it, chef.

Portia: (passes between Gordon and Shelly) Sorry, chef.

Gordon: Shelly, how can you cook soul food in a wok?

Shelly: Watch me, chef! Watch me!

Mateen: (interview) Soul food is supposed to be cooked slowly. Soul food is cooked with love and soul. Not in a wok. Shelly's cooking green beans in a wok, cooking rice in a wok, cabbage in a wok. We're not a Chinese soul-food restaurant. We don't need a wok, okay?

Gordon: (to Mateen) That's a first for me. A Southern food restaurant with a Chinese wok and a pizza oven?

Mateen: Yeah, we have the oven that doesn't work, right there.

Gordon: Tell me what's working, apart from you.

[Gordon has been accused of planting a dead mouse at the restaurant door]

Gordon: I walked in the front door - a mouse.

Shelly: The mouse that you planted, I know. They told me. But it's okay!

Gordon: No, it's not okay.

Shelly: It's a show.

Gordon: It's got nothing do with TV, nothing to do with your business in the (bleep) - I am not going to stand there and even attempt to take that crap from you. You can take your restaurant, and stick it. I am gone. I'm out of here.

Shelly: You're out of here? I'm out of here. (pushing past the others) Excuse me, go. See you later. Shut it down! Let's go, it's over.

Gordon: Wow, it's crazy. How does the family restaurant not run as a family?

Dominica: They don't get along.

Grace: Because he doesn't belong in this restaurant. (to Luigi) Is is true, or no?

Luigi: Yeah. We have laziness, it's like an infection. What happens is, when Tony is here, and Linda's here, they have no understanding that number one is the customer. No sitting around. No looking at the TV.

Gordon: Watching TV when customers come? Is that true?

Tony: I don't -- I don't think that's true.

Grace: Tony, he don't care about the customer. He wants to sit and play the computer.

Gordon: Customers that don't want to come when you're working? What's that all about?

Grace: I don't know.

Gordon: I was just asking. I'm listening.

Tony: She's got people that she kisses ass, and they love her. She's got other people that gets blunt in her face, and hate her. Is it right to basically go up to the customer and say, "(Bleep) you! Get the (bleep) out of here"?

Grace: NO! I DIDN'T SAY THAT! I DIDN'T SAY, "(bleep) YOU!" NOW TELL THAT IS (bleep), OKAY? SAY THE TRUTH!

Tony: That's what you said.

Grace: NO! I DIDN'T SAY, "(bleep) YOU!"

Linda: (to Gordon) This is what happens.

Grace: Yeah, yeah, yeah. (to Gordon) You tell, I did it right or did it wrong?

Gordon: I'm just trying to figure out what happened. I mean, I wasn't here. Did she say, "(bleep) you"? Did she not say, "(bleep) you"?

Tony: I thought she did.

Luigi: She said that to you.

Tony: Oh, yes, she did.

Gordon: What did you hear?

Luigi: She didn't say that. She said that to you! You forget!

Tony: No, no. She got into...

Luigi: Why are you forgetful? YOU GOT TO BE HONEST!

Tony: I'm being honest!

Luigi: You want this guy (Gordon) to help you, or not?

Tony: I'm trying to get him to help me!

Luigi: Then, you got to say what it is!

Tony: I AM!

Luigi: NO, YOU'RE NOT! YOU'RE LYING!

Tony: I'M NOT LYING! YOU GUYS ARE LYING!

Luigi: "I think she said, '(bleep) you!'" YOU THINK OR SHE DID?

Grace: OKAY! ALL RIGHT!

Tony: SHE DID SAY, "(bleep) YOU!"

Luigi: WHO THE (bleep) YOU ARE TO TALK?! We are losing the business...

Gordon: [showing moldy lemons] Look what's in the box. Who turns the produce over? Who turns the freshness?

Jorge: That's my staff.

Gordon: Really? [tosses the lemons away] (Bleep) me! Seriously?

Jorge: Why throw my lemons like that for? Why are you taking my product and throwing it away?

Gordon: THEY'RE MOULDY YOU PILLOCK! Do you want to see some more? Stay there! Chicken. (smells) (Bleep) hell! Look at this. What's this for? [Shows dehydrated potatoes] When were those made?

Jorge: Those were made today. Those are not going to be served to the public.

Gordon: They're not going to be served to the public.

Jorge: I'm telling you that I'm not going to serve those!

Gordon: So you're saving them for what? Talk to me then.

Jorge: Those were from this morning.

Gordon: You (bleep) little (bleep)!

Jorge: You're the little (bleep)! I'm telling you, those were made today.

Gordon: Oh, right!

Jorge: If you don't believe me, that's your responsibility.

Gordon: Okay, so, you're lying through your teeth!

Jorge: I am not lying through my teeth.

Gordon: Yes you are! You can't even tell me the truth. Do you know why? Because you don't know and you're a (bleep) joke!

Jorge: [throws the potatoes away] You're a joke too, man!

Gordon: Are you going to walk off then?

Jorge: All you're doing is hammering it!

Gordon: Do you know what? What upsets me more than anything is that you don't realise you're playing at running a restaurant. And the minute you start looking at yourself in the mirror and stop blaming the people around you, the quicker you may get this place turned around. Got it? Good! (Bleep) joke!

[During prep for relaunch night]

Jorge: Okay, so you do the frying station.

Matt: I will not cook a chicken wing.

Jorge: What's that?

Matt: I do not feel comfortable frying a chicken wing unless she wants to put on a pair of orange shorts and serve it.

Jorge: They're here to train us. Are you going to turn around and give them a hard time? Check yourself before you check them out, okay? Not going to happen again. (interview) He has this huge ego about frying chicken. It's really irrelevant. He's here to do what I tell him to do, not what he wants to do.

[Jorge and Richard bring Matt outside to talk with Gordon]

Gordon: What's going on?

Matt: You put a bunch of (bleep) chicken wings on the menu and somebody ought to (bleep) put on some orange shorts out there and serve it.

Gordon: Okay, so how about a little bit of respect and showing these two guys?

Matt: Well how about (bleep) respect a fine dining restaurant and not (bleep) put chicken wings on the menu?

Gordon: A fine dining restaurant?

Jorge: Are you (bleep) listening to us?

Gordon: Who the (bleep) do you think you are?

Matt: Who do you think I am? A guy who knows when a menu sucks!

Gordon: How dare you get jumped up and tell the owners that the menu's (bleep) because you think you know better? Well, why aren't you doing better? Why haven't you got a restaurant? How about having the intelligence to calm down and to start again?

Jorge: Is that possible? Yes or no?

Matt: It's possible.

Richard: Will you do it? Yes or no?

Matt: Yes.

Richard: Thank you.

[During dinner service for relaunch night]

Matt: This is (bleep) ridiculous!

Gordon: Come on, Matt. I know you hate the wings but just serve them please. Hate me, don't hate the wings.

Matt: You got your orange shorts? Orange shorts!

Gordon: Cut the (bleep) till the end of service. Okay big boy?

Matt: Come on!

Gordon: Hey you, why do you want to (bleep) around and take the piss? Let me tell you something really important.

Matt: What's that?

Gordon: I have (bleep) forgotten more than you know. Just serve the food and shut the (bleep) up, smart-arse!

Jorge: Matt, what is the big deal?

Matt: I'm trying to have a good time.

Jorge: You're not having a good time, you're trying to make life tough.

Matt: I'm having a good time.

Gordon: Why is he acting like this?

Melanie: Because he's a jackass. (interview) Matt is beyond the weakest link. You're here to do a job, do it!

Matt: Pork belly's in the window.

Gordon: Matt, that's overcooked. I know you don't care but I do. And you're supposed to be working hard tonight to get this place turned around. Why are you now trying to sabotage it? Mr. (bleep) thinks he can't (bleep) cook a chicken wing! Can't even drop a piece of pork belly in the fryer. Look at it, dry, piece of overcooked pork belly! You're going to start sending us down.

Jorge: Matt, you're seriously going to (bleep) me over right now?

Matt: No.

Jorge: Why are you being a piece of (bleep) with me?

Richard: (interview) I don't know if there's something wrong with Matt or not. I'm not a violent man by any means, but if he (bleep) it up for me tonight, I will literally...do something.

[after Matt sends an overcooked pork belly for the second time]

Jorge: Matt, why are you (bleep) up service tonight? You're making me look like (bleep).

Matt: Just chill out with the (bleep) drama.

Jorge: What did you say?

Matt: Chill out with the drama!

Jorge: Get out of here! Right now! Get the (bleep) out, right now! You know what? That's it. (shoves Matt) Get out of here!

Tatiana: He said it was toasted on one side, not toasted on the other.

Gordon: Really? How about telling your (bleep) chef?!

Casimiro: Okay, you cook it!

Gordon: Now's he's getting upset with me because I called him out. When a guy can't make a meatball or even season one, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. And then when I watch a chef that cooks and sticks food up there and holds it, and we're not talking homemade food, we're talking bought in store bought. My god, it hurts.

Casimiro: Okay, you cook it!

Gordon: And look at that for a stinking attitude! Look at that! A disgusting attitude! Ask him to put his house in the (bleep) mix. If his house was on the line, he wouldn't be cooking like a (bleep) idiot! (Casimiro laughs) Now he thinks it's funny!

Gordon: [Looking for the restaurant] Restaurant with flamingo. [Stops in surprise as he sees a giant pink flamingo above the restaurant] Holy Mackerel. Look at the size of that thing. Wow. Are you serious? Look at that. Wow, wow, wow!

[After dinner service chef Greg sitting out back as Chef Ramsay comes out as well]

[Gordon has been served a pork chop so dry that he sets it upright on the plate]

Gordon: How sad is that? Honestly, come on. How...(bleep)...depressing...is that? It's like the map of America. [points around the pork chop] Start on the East Coast. There's California, where that little dark spot is. Come to central, Midwest. Then we have Seattle. We're here. [points] Pittsburgh. God bless America. [swats at a fly] (Bleep) off, fly.

[Showing Marc and sous chef Chris the freezer and what he found in there]

Gordon: Look. [Showing bag of pork belly that's raw]

Chris: Oh what, that is pork fat.

Gordon: Just hold that two seconds; that's next to this: [Pulls out container of chicken wings not frozen] (Bleep) wings, and the top is soaking wet because it's (Bleep) full of condensation! And this! [Pulls container out] Who grabs that out there and doesn't think about changing the bowl. Who could be that dirty? Chili?

Chris: Chili.

Gordon: (Bleep) around the outside. LOOK AT THE MESS OF THIS PLACE! It's (Bleep) ridiculous! SOMEONE (Bleep) MAN UP! [Stares at Chris who is petrified] Young man, you are running a business! Whole wings, next to the (Bleep) raw pork? You'll kill everybody!

Narrator: ...Dino and Gina blame the shut down of the restaurant on...

Dino: (to the customers) Chef Ramsay has shut us down.

Gordon: Dino, you're telling them that I'm shutting it down.

Narrator: And now, Chef Ramsay is determined to give a more accurate description.

Gordon: (walks out to the dining room) Ladies and gentlemen, may I just have your attention for 30 seconds? First of all, my apologies, but I'm not going to BS anybody. I am not shutting this restaurant down, I am stopping the owners from serving this disgusting mess! From chicken that's already slimed, off, gone, to basil that was never fresh, to a tomato sauce that's actually caked in mould. I am not going to sit here and blame party for that.

Dino: Oh my god. I'm embarrassed.

Gordon: And whilst I'm totally appreciative of you for leaving your homes and coming tonight for dinner, I've got too much respect for you and too much respect for the industry. I am not going to be part of this any longer. My sincere apologies. (walks to the door and bumps into it, not realizing it's a pull door) (Bleep) door!

Leina: They've been arguing, because he's (Jamal) telling him (Emad) that he doesn't know how to cook.

[the brothers are still arguing as Ramsay speaks]

Emad: Idiot, dude. Just go back to the front.

Jamal: Horrible. Horrible.

Emad: Who cares about his opinion?

Leina: He says that the lamb, it just tasted like it was boiled in water. And he said, "Send this back to New Zealand."

Sam: (testimonial) He tried it and he said, "There is no flavor in it!" But I believed myself I make the best lamb shank here in California. (back at the kitchen) I don't really know what to do. (waves a pan at Emad as if wanting to hit him with it)

Jamal: What were you doing again? Oh, yeah. Cook your food wrong.

Wesam: Nobody's talking to you! Stay back there!

Leina: Chef Ramsay wants to see everybody, outside.

(the Najjar brothers goes out of the kitchen to the dining room)

Gordon: Before I start talking about the dishes, what was the fighting going on there?

Wesam: He just like to come back and argue pretty much about nothing.

Jamal: Actually, when we get a complaint, I tell them what's going on, and they can't take criticism.

Samer: No, that's not it.

Jamal: Let me talk!

Samer: You're making it seem that you're better than everything!

Jamal: (to Samer) So why are you still talking when I'm talking!? (to Gordon) If I come back there and let them know, "Hey, this is dry", "Hey, the hummus is messed up"--

Wesam: No, we really accept that. But the fact that you come over there and, "Hey, you guys can't cook. You guys are (bleep)"--

[Overlaid with the cooks taking food out of the freezer and nuking it in the microwave]

Joe: We do things with passion, with integrity... the food here at the Bistro is the freshest, hands down.

[Joe's infamous "micro-carrots"]

Gordon: And these are... little carrots?

Joe: Micro-carrots.

Gordon: Micro-carrots? From...

Joe: From a local farm.

Gordon: Do you not think you should let it grow a bit?

Joe: Well, I don't think they're there to be really eaten, they're for garnish.

Gordon: Okay.

Joe: It's a garnish. It's to add some color.

Gordon: Oh.

Joe: But I would like to explain what we're spending on micro-carrots.

Gordon: Yeah. Can we go through this after?

Joe: Whatever you want to do. You are here as our guest.

Gordon:[unconvinced] Right. Can I give those back to you? [starts to hand the carrots back to Amy] Joe? [changes his mind and hands them to Joe]

Joe: I don't personally want them, myself. [To Amy] You can take them back to the kitchen.

Joe:[interview] I have staff here that'll take care of that. You don't hand me raw food in MY dining room. We don't need him to bust our balls over if there's little petite carrots that go there. Those same carrots go to the White House. Those same carrots go to the Five Seasons. They go global, OK?

[Gordon has reached out to a former employee, who has taken many pictures showing this so-called "farm-to-table" establishment is anything but]

Teresa: I took some pictures. This is the stuff that was here. That's meat in a baggie.

Joe: [starts making an elk quesadilla] Do you want to see how we make this crap?

Gordon: I haven't got the appetite Joe.

Joe: I know because you wouldn't come over here and say "Don't get it that crispy." or "Don't do that with it."

Gordon: What the (bleep) are you on? What the (bleep) are you on? I won't come over here saying "Get that a bit crispy." An elk quesadilla that you want confirmation that it's a (bleep) good dish? When are you going to pull your head out of your (bleep)?! For a man who stands there and boasts at his (bleep) farm and his goats and you want me to talk about this?! Seriously?! Wake up Joe! You're joking aren't you?

Joe: We're making these two these. You know what I'm saying? I know you don't like the dish.

Gordon: It's disgusting Joe!

Joe: So you wouldn't give me any input on it?

Gordon: Get rid of it!

Joe: You want me to get rid of it right (bleep) now?!

Gordon: I would! I would!

Joe: You're in a (bleep)! We don't have it!

Gordon: Oh here we go! Here we go!

Joe: We don't have it!

Gordon: Here we (bleep) go!

Joe: Make yourself clear.

Gordon: Stop asking such ridiculous questions! "Come over here and tell me it's crispy."! ARE YOU THAT STUPID?!!

Joe: Don't (bleep) serve the thing right?

Gordon: WHO'S RESTAURANT IS IT?!!

Joe: It's my (bleep) restaurant!

Gordon: THEN ASK!! WHO'S RESPONSIBLE?!!

Joe: I'm asking for (bleep) help!

Gordon: THEN WAKE UP!!!

Joe: YOU WAKE UP!!

Gordon: IDIOT!!

Joe: (Bleep) come in here and help me instead of running your jaw!!

Gordon: YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN BE IN THE KITCHEN! GET OUT!! GET OUT!! (to Tom) Let's finish it. Finish it. (to Joe) (Bleep) OFF THEN!!

Joe: (Bleep) off!

Gordon: (throws the quesadillas on the floor) Yeah, and take that (bleep) with you! That's right, we're stopping an elk quesadilla! Breaking news in Mexico!

Joe: That's not what I'm asking!

Gordon: GET OUT!!! Now we got rid of the (bleep) problem. Unbelievable. Un(bleep)real.

Amy: You guy I make excellent food. (bleep) you all think that you can come in here and say these things. Are you kidding me? This is ridiculous.

[Gordon catches with Samy pocketing the tips]

Gordon: Wow. Ten-dollar tip?

Samy: Yeah.

Gordon: Nice. For you?

Samy: Of course, yeah. Why not?

Gordon: Don't you think the girl deserves some tips tonight?

Samy: No. They get paid hourly.

Gordon: And so, did you think that if I went and asked every customer that when they leave a tip, it goes straight to the owner and not to the server, do you think they'd be astounded? Let me ask that table there. (to the customers at the table) Sir, the tip that you left to the young lady server, the owner takes the tips.

Customers: That's horrible!

Samy: No, no, no, no!

Gordon: DON'T (bleep) WITH ME!

Samy: Yeah, I will (bleep) with you! Who the (bleep) do you think you are!?

Gordon: They should be told that you're taking them, because these servers deserve them.

Samy: You want to speak with me?

Gordon: Yeah, I want to speak with you.

Samy: You want to (bleep) with me? I will (bleep) with you.

Gordon: Then, I will (bleep) with you.

Samy: I will (bleep) with you.

Gordon: I can't help people... that can't help themselves... that cannot ever take one ounce of criticism. And if you're not willing to change, I'm not going to butt heads, argue, scream, whatever you want to say. But, this is not normal. And it's not normal for a restaurant to go through that many staff. It's not normal for a kitchen that small to have 65 items on the menu. And it's not normal for the level of animosity that you built inside this restaurant and outside. You have the right to run the business the way you want to run your business. I have the right to do the right thing. And the right thing for me... is to get out of here. Good luck.

[Gordon leaves via the restaurant's front door]

Samy: This is what you wanted?

Amy: Yeah, of course this is what I want. I'm not participating in this (bleep), give me a break! (points to her microphone) Take this thing off me. (interview) We don't need his help! Maybe he knows that.

[the production crew is shown dismantling the camera and lighting equipment]

Crew member: It all has to come down.

Amy: (interview) Now he's gone, he walked away. He'll go on with his life, and Samy and I will go on with our life.

Gordon: Well, it's finally happened. After almost a hundred Kitchen Nightmares, I met two owners who I could not help. It wasn't because I didn't want to, it was because they are incapable of listening. And in a short period of time, they've managed to piss off the community and go through over a hundred employees in one year. Samy and Amy continued to blame everyone else, yet their biggest problem is themselves. And I know whatever changes I would've made, they were never going to stick with them and that's why I've decided to do something I've never done before. It's such a shame.

[Gordon walks to and enters his car, starts the engine, and drives off]

Gordon: Definitely not a hero, there. There's a typo on the menu. It's not "hero", it's "zero".

[After pouring a sinister yellow liquid off his linguine with clams]

Gordon: Looks like Pete's (bleep) in my pasta. (Bleep). Looks like one of the worst urine samples you could ever give.

[After Gordon conducts a taste test... and Pete's pizza does not exactly come out looking good...]

Gordon: I think, Pete, you've overestimated how good your pizza is. ... I did a little research in Denver. Here's the results in a nutshell. 75 percent preferred the pizza from the top local Italian restaurant. In second place, with 15 percent of the votes, was the store-bought frozen pizza. And in third, and last position, was yours with only 10 percent of the votes. You're actually beaten by a store-bought (bleep) frozen pizza. Get the message?

Janelle: Hey Kevin, let's talk about how many times you haven't shown up to work without your tie.

Kevin: Two times.

Janelle: You're so disrespectful to her! You need to show a little respect!

Trevor: She doesn't listen to anything we have to (bleep) say!

Janelle: She tries to but you guys don't give her a chance!

Julie: Trevor, I have talked to you a hundred times about, stop! I've talked to you over and over, you know I'm not(bleep) lying, you are! I have sat down and talked to you so many times and said "What can we do to make this better?" and you never (bleep) say anything, so that's a lie!

Trevor: But when I do say something, it gets shut down!

Julie: You are (bleep) lying!

Trevor: Whatever!

Janelle: She's given you so many chances Trevor and you know it! Let's talk about your habits for a second and all the times, you've come in so high that you throw (bleep) at the walls! So high, you (bleep) punch people!

Trevor: WHO INTERROGATES IT?! YOU!!!

Janelle: NO, (Bleep) YOU!!

Trevor: YOU OUGHT TO GET THE (Bleep) OUT OF THIS RESTAURANT SO WE CAN WORK!!

Janelle: NO!! I DON'T (Bleep) OWE YOU ANYTHING!! YOU'RE SO HIGH ALL THE (bleep) TIME THAT WHEN YOU GO OFF (bleep) DRUGS, YOU'RE SO ANGRY THAT YOU DON'T EVEN WANT TO WORK!

Gordon: Drugs? Who's on drugs?

Janelle: He's a (bleep) tweaker! AND YOU KNOW YOU'RE A (bleep) TWEAKER! YOU'VE BEEN DOING DRUGS FOR THREE YEARS!!!

Gordon: Janelle, Janelle.

Julie: Janelle, come here.

Janelle: NO, (Bleep) HIM!! HE DESERVES TO BE FIRED AND YOU KNOW IT!!! HE TRIED TO (bleep) PUNCH ME!!!! AND IF I WOULD'VE LET HIM RIGHT NOW, I KNOW HE WOULD'VE (bleep) PUNCHED ME AGAIN!!! HE'S SUCH A (Bleep)!! HE'S SO DISRESPECTFUL!! (cries)

Gordon: Okay, stay away from him now. Darling, go inside the restaurant please, and get a glass of water please.

Gordon:[handing Mike a dish of lasagna] Okay, now into the microwave for four minutes--