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Hittites & Damage Control

EMBARGOED until April 1st:
This just in from the Diocese of New York:
Rt. Rev. Mark Sisk, Bishop of New York, has called on the Standing
Liturgical Commission to expunge 2 Samuel 11 and 12 from the canons of Holy
Scripture, as well as any subsequent references to the narrative therein.
"King David violated professional boundaries, and it is regrettable that
someone decided to memorialize his sorry affair with Mrs. Bathsheba Hittite
and her cuckold," Bishop Sisk explained.
In a letter to be read to all parishes in the diocese next Sunday, Bishop
Sisk notes: "David did not understand the enormity of his sin. Look at the
overrated Psalm 51, for example. In it the king says, 'Against you and you
only have I done any wrong.' The king does not acknowledge any offense
against Mr. U. Hittite or the Hittite family. Instead, he married the
'widow.'"
Last month Bishop Sisk brought similar objections to THE BISHOP's DAUGHTER,
a book he takes to be about boundary violations by Bishop Sisk's penultimate
predecessor.
Bishop Richard Grein, Bishop Sisk's immediate predecessor, could not be
reached for comment. While still the ordinary, Grein divorced his wife and
shortly thereafter he married his canon pastor. The couple are rumored to be
in flight to Aruba lest there be additional pastoral letters from
1047 Amsterdam Avenue.
#30#
Louie Crew, 377 S. Harrison St., 12d, East Orange, NJ 07018. 973-395-1068
http://andromeda.rutgers.edu/~lcrew