﻿Many bloggers have a weekly post that focuses upon a recurring theme. I have long thought I should start one, but then I always remember that I suck at blogging on a schedule and give up on the idea. When I started blogging one of my goals was to help other moms feel good about themselves. It is part of human nature to feel better about your struggles when you see someone else struggles too. In real life, stories about my oldest son's early childhood have always had a real knack for helping other moms at playgroup feel better about their own child's hideous behavior. I figured that could be extrapolated into helping moms feel better about their parenting, housekeeping, or life in general. I finally realized I did not HAVE to pick a specific day of the week and post regularly to do short, themed posts and the "Random Day of the Week Mini-Post Helping Other Moms Feel They Have It Together Better than This Mom" was born. It's like a public service really.
P.S. I do love my life despite the fact that I just discovered my hand smells like poop right now. It's all about perspective.
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I was sweeping this up in the kitchen lamenting the fact that we apparently still had a mouse. I laughed to myself thinking that those had to come out of one big a$$ mouse! Then I realized that maybe they were not mouse droppings. Upon closer observation (yes, getting my face within a few inches of what I thought was mouse poop) I realized they were bugs. Then I looked behind the fridge and thought, "Wow, that would be one heck of an obstacle course for a mouse!" It was a definite we-belong-on-Hoarders moment. Needless to say, pulling out the fridge has just made a massive leap up the spring cleaning to-do list!

Today's moral: Even if you have never pulled out your fridge to clean, if a plethora of bugs is not crawling out from underneath it, you are doing just fine.

Plan outings your child likes, but don’t take themKids are capable of learning to dress themselves around the age of two and a half, but not unless they have a good reason to do so. Kids this age tend to go through an “I doot” phase. It is critical to take advantage of their desire to do everything and allow them to figure out how to get dressed. If you miss it, you may be dressing a kindergartner some day. My technique has evolved over the years but with my last couple of kids, I have been intentional about using the following method:

The first time I ask my child to dress himself, I tell him it’s time to go to the park and hand him his clothes. As long as the child puts in some effort trying to do it himself, I help a little with the armholes or make suggestions such as, “Try sitting down to put on your pants.” You know, rocket sciencey stuff he doesn't seem to be figuring out alone.

If the child flat refuses to take any shot at it, the park trip is off. When he asks about going to the park three hours later, I remind him that he decided not to get dressed, and people do not want to see him at the park in his underwear. Laughing about underwear takes a little sting out of missing a trip to the park, but still reinforces the point.

Throughout the next month or so, I gradually help a little less. I realize that not everyone’s pregnancy spacing is going to work out ideally for this, but I find that beginning this process during the last trimester makes it easy to help the kid less because I am more tired. Going to a friend’s house, playgroup, out with Daddy, or over to Grandma’s are some other fake-if-need-be excursions I make him get dressed to attend.

If you are reading this after already having a new baby, do not dare try this plan right now. Suggesting a brand-new older sibling is suddenly old enough to do a big kid thing all alone is the equivalent of ordering them to regress to the most helpless state of being possible.

The only downfall of this plan is that I may have to take my child some places I would rather not have to take him, but it pays off every single day for years, so it’s totally worth it.

I tread carefully with this plan, if there is a place I absolutely must go, I do not suggest that the child dress himself. That can set up a major backfire when the kid is jumping up and down in his tighty-whities, cheering about how he does not have to go because no one wants to see him in his underwear at (insert place you must go here.) I dress him myself on those days and explain that I do not have time to wait for him to dress himself today.

Sometimes I get lucky and the kid insists he can do it really, really fast and I let him. I make sure this happens consistently for at least a month before I dare quit trying to dress him myself. Toddlers are fickle. Expecting one to do something he did yesterday takes audacity.

Sometimes I don’t get lucky, and almost always, the child attempts to regress at some point, usually after a whole year or two when it isn’t an awesome new skill anymore. The next technique is the cure.

Plan to dress your child in clothes they do not like

My next step in autonomous dressing is to figure out which clothes or shoes my child hates the most and try to put those on him when I am sure he will not want to go where we must go. I always make sure to give myself an extra hour to three days before needing to leave the house when taking a crack at this plan.

If you are one of those people who, before now, thought you were sooo lucky that your kid never cared what he was wearing, buy an itchy sweater. The itchy sweater is kryptonite. (My kids have all had ridiculous reasons for hating half the clothes they already own, so I have never been forced to go to these lengths.)

When a child begins to complain about the not cool, ugly, stupid, tight, itchy, skinny, poop-facey, or schmidgey* clothes I try to put on him, I explain that he is welcome to pick out his own clothes by himself as long as he puts them on by himself. Notice the repetition of the words ‘by himself.’ It is intentional.

The biggest downfall here is that when you let children this age pick their clothes, you will see quite a bit of repetition of the same few favorites. If you cannot stand to see your child in alternating Paw Patrol and dinosaur shirts or alternating Frozen and kitty cat shirts, this method may not be for you. Also, if it is going to bother you that not one item the child wears matches any other item the child wears, this method may not be for you. The more kids you have or the more heavily pregnant you are, the easier it is not to care about those things, so you could always try that.

*Apparently this is an adjective for 'clothes I don't like for no apparent reason, so I have to make up a new word.' Anyone raising a kid with even the slightest sensory issues probably already figured that out.

If all else fails, put the kid in the car in his underwear with clothes along for the ride. I have only launched myself over the backseat of my SUV in pursuit of a naked child and then forcibly dressed him in the preschool parking lot a handful of times. Every time we were late enough that no perfect, amazing, super moms were around to witness it anyway. Now, when I threaten to drag my elementary-aged kids into the school building in their underwear, they are reasonably sure enough that I would actually do it that I have never needed to decide if I should follow through. (Yes, I am knocking on wood as I write this.)

And if you want to help along the learning process, try the great products advertised below:

Author

I am the mother of seven children ranging from teens to a toddler, living out in the middle of nowhere, USA. I aim to hone the craft of giving advice without pretending to have this whole mom thing figured out. I am Christian, but not the really nice kind that is good at it. I am also conservative, but I promise not to be in your face with political agendas very often. I like to infuse humor into my writing, so don't freak out if you are offended or ﻿appalled by what you read here. There is a very fine line between serious advice and sarcastic hyperbole.

​Disclaimer:Some posts contain affiliate links and advertisements for which I may be compensated. My opinions are my own.