Change can be very challenging, but of course, it can also feel exciting. It obviously depends on not just the circumstances in which the change happens, but in the level of control we might have over how, or when, the change occurs.

Change can mean loss, and it can also mean gain, and in most cases it means both! Some of which depends on the material aspects of what is altering (moving house, for instance, or buying a new car) and some of which depends on the emotional spin off from the change. For example, after bereavement or divorce, although there can be tremendous sadness, lowered self-esteem and confidence, there can also be a sense of relief and maybe excitement and anticipation about the future.

A change in circumstances around health, bringing change in lifestyle, often requires acceptance and adaptation. We are mostly not in control about what happens to our health, although we can attempt to stave off certain conditions (to do with age, for instance), but when things ‘happen to us’, we can feel like victims and that can signify a loss of control. However, we can take back control through how we adapt.

Change can mean something different to us when we are children. In most big changes when we are dependant on others, we have no control about what happens, and this can lead to difficulties when we later face change as adults. Change, or the prospect of change, can lead to fear and anxiety, avoidance or denial. When we notice that we have strong feelings about change, feelings which make change impactful in a debilitating way to our lives, with a sense that there can be nothing positive or hopeful about it, then it might be time to think about seeking professional help.

Lue Glover Wilson works in an integrative way under the humanistic umbrella. Specialisms include loss and bereavement, relationship and work issues including abuse, stress, anxiety, and eating difficulties. Recent training has included couples counselling, coaching within counselling and the ASIST program (Applied Suicide Intervention Skills).