Front Line Report SXSW

So the Big Red Car received some questions from the 250,000 hipsters, geeks and nerds roaming Austin as part of SXSW.

Big Red Car, what’s up with this weather?

Austin, Texas, has great weather. Even today was a bit warm at 85F it was quite enjoyable. Some of ya’ll need to start visiting a tanning booth before coming to the ATX. The Big Red Car has never seen as many pasty faces, arms, legs and cleavage. Please, ya’ll, a bit of responsible sun worship. Please.

Big Red Car, everyone’s so damn nice. What’s up with that?

Hipsters, Texas is not the South, it is the West and in the West we do not run over pedestrians — not sporting. We do not beep our horns. We Hook ‘Em Horns!

We like ya’ll even if you don’t know how to act. It’s a Texas thang and it’s for real.

Big Red Car, what’s with the “ya’ll” business? Are we in the South?

Nerds, you are in Texas and we like to say “ya’ll” as part of our cultural heritage.

Tonight when you are out and about, try it. Look over at your friends and just bust it out: “Hey, ya’ll, what do ya’ll want to do?” They will look at you and say: “Damn, that was cool.”

Promise.

Big Red Car, where is the Alamo? Can’t find it. Walked up and down Congress Avenue looking for it.

OK, geeks, the Alamo is in San Antonio. Always has been. No amount of Shiner Boch or Peacemaker is going to change that fact.

Big building up at the end of Congress Avenue is the Capitol of Texas. The chick on top is the Goddess of Liberty. She was down for some maintenance — cut, curl, color, bikini wax — a few years ago.

During Reconstruction, Texas told the Union Feds that the Capitol was 5′ shorter than the US Capitol. Penis envy thang. Actually, it’s 5′ taller than the US Capitol. Still a penis envy thang. Sorry. Joke on the Feds. Remember Reconstruction was when the North occupied the South with soldiers. Yeah, nobody likes to talk about that.

Big Red Car, someone said Texas has some basic food groups, what are they?

Grasshopper, they are breakfast tacos, TexMex and BBQ. Also lots of great home grown beers. Drink some Peacemaker if you can find it.

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Not bad. Most folks are walking. The downtown is filled to overflowing and the people watching is exquisite.

It was actually kind of funny to see how folks were dressed. Some went right to the shorts, tee shirts and flip flops while others were bundled up wearing jeans and boots. Most folks couldn’t believe how mild it was.