Feeling like a single parent...

Anyone else feel like they're literally doing everything by themselves due to oh not helping out at all?? I get that he works 8 till half five every day of the week, but he doesn't even help out with our little boy, and doesn't help out around the house, I am struggling to do everything on my own.. no matter how many times I say he needs to help out more with lo and around the house nothing changes! In the evenings I give him lo so I can at least have a shower, but as soon as I'm out he's desperate to pass him back to me. I ask him to sterilise his bottles and I get massive sighs and a groans.
He doesn't ever help out at night not even at weekends when he's off work. He always says to me wake me up for night feeds and I'll help out but when I do all I get is abuse thrown at me, or he'll take our lo but moan after five minutes because he's soooooo tired and lo "won't settle for him" he doesn't even try!!! It's like it's all just a massive chore that he can't be bothered to do, I may as well be a single parent!😕
I don't think it helps that his mum would literally do everything for him when he lived with her, even make him a sandwich if he was hungry and couldn't be bothered to do it himself, which was always!
and when people ask us how we're getting on with lo like with having less sleep and that he goes on like he does everything and he's so tired and he can't wait for lo to start sleeping through so HE can get a decent night sleep, he doesn't even stir when IM up with lo all night long!!!!

Sorry more of a rant than anything but I need to get it out as I'm so stressed and pissed off with him! And it doesn't seem to matter what I say, nothing changes😩😩 anyone else's oh like this or am I just really unlucky??xx

Comments (22)

My OH (other half) is on and off. I’m breastfeeding so he can’t do night feeds but he kinda rolls his eyes at me when I give him our girl so I can go to the loo or have a shower! I’ve just started trying to do couch to 5k to get fitter and lose some weight and it was fine this week as he was working nights so as soon as I got home from the school run I put Lilly back to bed and went out for a run. She was still asleep each time I got back. But this coming weeks he is on days so I will be doing the runs in the evenings so I’m not sure how that is going to go. As for house work, on my god!!!! He is so messy but never does any tidying or cleaning. And like your OH (other half) when he lived at home his mother did everything for him. He tells me to ask him to do things but when I do he groans so I just get on with it, and I would also like him to actually do things without me asking sometimes, even if it’s just taking the bins out!!!!

My OH (other half) works away all over the country and hasn’t been home since 2nd of jan and it is very hard, and then when he does get home he will spend a couple of hours with me and LO (little one) and then go out to catch up with his friends and it is a real struggle doing it on my own sometimes. But at the same time I’m really enjoying the time I get on my own with my baby cuz she’s already learning and growing so quick and I feel more bad for him and all the things he will miss out on with her xx

My OH works away all over the country and hasn’t been home since 2nd of j...

Posted
13/01/2018

My OH and then go out to catch up with his friends and it is a real struggle doing it on my own sometimes. But at the same time I’m really enjoying the time I get on my own with my baby cuz she’s already learning and growing so quick and I feel more bad for him and all the things he will miss out on with her xx

This isn't the case at all in our house. We both decided to have a baby therefore we both share the responsibility when OH (other half) gets home from work. Last night he said he would get up with lo because it's the weekend and he doesn't have to get up for work in the morning.

It's not fair on you to be doing it all by yourself when you both decided to have a child. It's a shares responsibility and he needs to step up. It's hard but he needs to get on with it or he will regret not doing his share when lo is older. xx

Try not doing things for him like his washing, shopping and cooking meals if he sees you’re too tired and busy looking after the kids he might realise he needs to pitch in. I think we just get on with things and men just hear us moan so if it actually effects him he might take notice xx

I could have written this, I'm honestly thinking about leaving as if I'm going to do it all alone anyway I may as well be happy and not verbally abused constantly. It's at the point where if he has to hold DS (dear son) while I make a bottle by the time the perfect prep machine is done he's already at the door waiting to give him back to me. All he does is shout at me and DD (dear daughter) and bring the atmosphere of the house down constantly. There are good flashes but they're getting fewer and fewer.

I have been up since 4.30am and hub got up at 9.30am. He came downstairs in a foul mood. After much investigation (nagging him) turns out he's jealous of my bond with baby. "He never smiles for me like he does for you". I tried to explain to him that he's at the age where you have to interact with him to get smiles, not sit with him lying flat on his back in one arm with the PlayStation controller in the other. It also prob helps that I have him on my own for 12 hours a day (hub has a very easy job) & I do the majority of the feeding, changing, night feeds, etc. Now he's moaning he's tired & apparently we're never having any more despite this being our first.

I could have written this, I'm honestly thinking about leaving as if I...

Posted
13/01/2018

I could have written this, I'm honestly thinking about leaving as if I'm going to do it all alone anyway I may as well be happy and not verbally abused constantly. It's at the point where if he has to hold DS and bring the atmosphere of the house down constantly. There are good flashes but they're getting fewer and fewer.
No advice but you aren't alone, sending hugs xx

This is not good!! Ask him to think about whether he'd like his daughter to end up with someone like him when she's older.

Learn more

Your growing child

11 month old, fourth week

If your baby isn't walking yet, she's likely to take her first independent steps soon. You can encourage her to walk by standing or kneeling in front of her and holding out your hands. Or hold both her hands and walk her towards you. Read More

1 year old

Happy birthday, baby! Your first year is over and babyhood is behind you. In the coming months, your little one will seek more independence, discover the world from an upright position, find his sense of humour, and learn to say he loves you. Read More

This Internet site provides information of a general nature and is designed for educational purposes only. If you have any concerns about your own health or the health of your child, you should always consult with a physician or other healthcare professional. Please review the Terms of Use before using this site. Your use of the site indicates your agreement to be bound by the Terms of Use.

This site is published by BabyCenter, L.L.C., which is responsible for its contents as further described and qualified in the Terms of Use.

You are passing a message to a BabyCentre staff member.
For the fastest help on community guidelines violations, please click 'Report this' on the item you wish the staff to review.
For general help please read our Help section or contact us.