Any Man of Mine

This is an installment of our series, Love Life & Literature: Romance in Real Life. In this series, we (myself and Rachael) will be delving into the ups, downs, frustrations, butterflies, and everything in between as career women who love romance, but are still searching in a world that isn’t all Mr. Darcy’s and Prince Charming’s.

Once upon a time, a decade ago, three girls sat on a careworn back deck. The aspiring author and faux secretary typed away at lists on her new laptop. The summer breeze swung through the green leaves lush with life, and they almost sounded as if they were laughing. At the three young women who thought they were oh-so-mature eating ice cream sundaes and discussing their Ideal Men.

Strict requirements such as no tattoos, must be over six foot tall, want to homeschool children—oh and welcome as many children as God would want, were just a few of such high ideals they purposed not to settle on. Other things made the lists (one numbered over fifty) included being a strong spiritual leader, and must have good foot hygiene.

Oh, how times changed for these three girls. The lists are lost to oblivion (thank the Lord), a few relationships and a few too many awkward singular dates are under their belts now. The aspiring writer/taker of the lists is now published, and is learning continuously that what she thought she needed in a guy—Jesus already is.

But at the same time—there are a few things still leftover from those incredibly lengthy ridiculous lists that hold up today. Things that, through the trial and error of dating with an open mind, and less and less pressure on myself/The Guy to be The One—are still things I am not settling on.

Better be respectful. Of himself, of me and my time, and his parents. Self deprecation, blowing off replies or plans, and borderline ranting about his parents are all instant turn-offs.

He'd better be positive. I'm realizing I need that, because I'm not naturally positive. Now, if he leans more on the negative side that's fine—so long as he's aware of it and strives to be more positive.

Better smile and laugh. Easily. Now I get that this is more on an attraction level than a hard and fast rule, but man. SUCH a world of difference when, even if there are nerves or awkwardness, it's superseded by an easy smile and comfortable laughter—even if it's at one's expense by not taking yourself so seriously.

Better ask about my day—and share his in turn. Or vice versa. Even in the small talk I'm daily employed in (with, yes, admittedly, some handsome guys who come into my office), it leaves a good impression on me when anyone just takes that second to ask about my day. I appreciate it big time.

Better walk the walk he talks. In all areas. I'll be the first one to say I love Jesus but I fail Him daily and that yes, I often do fail at walking the walk of what I talk. But even if it's one step forward, one step back—eventually there's progress. And...

Humility. (see point above). And honesty. These two go hand in hand and make a relationship work. Or so I hope so, someday.

We want to hear from you. What are some things on your Man List? And for y'all married—did your husbands fit your criteria you stood fast on?