Dildos Are Now Racist. You SERIOUSLY Can’t Make This Crap Up (Very NSFW)

The kicker in this? A professor at a major American university actually conducted a study on this. Probably got a grant for her research and published her findings in a professional journal that is being read by other scholars and researchers. And treated as an important and legitimate source of information.

I honestly don’t think I can deal with this much stupid right now. Or ever.

According to this, Professor Amy Sueyoshi at San Francisco State University (THAT doesn’t surprise me) is teaching a course based on her OH SO VITAL findings that the designs of dildos are racist. In that, dildos that look like white penises are designed to look appealing and desirable and sensual. And dildos that look like black penises are big and mean and scary. I seriously DON’T know how she decided what “dangerous” versus “sensual” looked like – frankly, I don’t WANT to know (I just figured they used the same mold regardless of what color the dildo was). From the article –

Professor Sueyoshi does in fact dig into race, dildos, and American culture. In fact, she dedicates an entire week-long discussion to “Consuming Sex” by offering the reading, “Little White Lies: Race, Dildos, and American Culture” This can be found in the syllabus in week 13, right before “Latina Sexuality”

In case you don’t have the time to read the entire article, the reading dives into comparing white and black dildos. The author, Allison Alavi, makes the claim that through a content analysis study, a clear racist discourse presents black penises and black men’s sexuality as dangerous and sinful when compared to the white dildos which are portrayed as sensual and erotic. Alavi also claims that stereotypes of black men having abnormally large penises were interpreted by white Europeans as a symbol of hyper sexuality and was used as one more way white slaveholders could justify slavery. She claims black males needed “enlightened Christians to help them control their sexual urges”

Does Amy realize that dildos also come in colors like purple and hot pink and tie-dye? (And please – for the love of all that is good and holy – do NOT ask me how I know that.) I mean, how does she account for her obsession with racism behind every turn and corner when you are getting your rocks off with a plastic dong that looks like it came off a cartoon character?

Basically, everything is racist. Even dildos. Welcome to 2015, everybody.