On Dec. 1, when NFL commissioner Roger Goodell was told by the league’s head of security that Jovan Belcher, a linebacker for the Kansas City Chiefs, murdered his girlfriend and then shot himself in the Kansas City Chiefs parking lot in front of his coach and general manager, he remembers his disbelief. “My first thoughts weren’t about football at all,” Goodell told TIME in his first public comments since the shocking incident. “This is not a football tragedy. It’s a human tragedy that impacts families, loved ones and an innocent child left behind.” Would the Chiefs play their game against the Carolina Panthers the next day? “It was ultimately my decision,” he says. “But it was important to get the views of the players and honor their wishes. [Chiefs chairman] Clark [Hunt] got back to me and said [Coach] Romeo [Crennel] and the captains felt that playing the game–being together as a team and a community — was important. So that’s exactly what we did.” The Chiefs beat the Carolina Panthers 27-21.

This week’s TIME cover story, which subscribers can read here, is an in-depth profile of NFL commissioner Roger Goodell. The Belcher incident is just the latest challenge facing the commissioner. Goodell needs to make football safer. “It doesn’t take a lot to jump to the conclusion that constant banging in the head is not going to be in your best interest,” he says. Just this week, a new study from Boston University detailed 33 cases of chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE) — 15 of them previously unpublicized–in deceased ex-NFL players. (CTE, a debilitating brain disease associated with head trauma, can be diagnosed only post-mortem). Meanwhile, he’s trying to preserve the core of a game that is our national obsession — and a hugely profitable business. His job is, as he says, a “balancing act.”

Fans and players have objected to many of his decisions, like locking out the referees this season, and handing down severe punishment for the New Orleans Saints players and coaches in the bounty scandal. Saints quarterback Drew Brees, for example, says he’s “disappointed” in Goodell. “Really a lack of accountability from the top down,” Brees says. “Also, I feel like, in large part, this bounty scandal, so to speak, is a big facade and a way to cover up the shortcomings of the league with regard to player health and safety over the last three years.”

Goodell doesn’t buy such criticism. “I don’t do things for public relations,” Goodell told TIME. “I do things because they’re the right thing to do, because I love the game … If you want to do the popular thing, be a cheerleader.”

One idea that Goodell predicts will get more consideration: eliminating kickoffs. Fans may object to this rule change, since kickoffs produce thrilling returns. TIME sat in on meeting between Goodell and Rich McKay, head of the NFL’s powerful competition committee. Goodell brought up a proposal promoted by Greg Schiano, coach of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers: after a touchdown or field goal, instead of kicking off, a team would get the ball on its own 30-yard line, where it’s fourth and 15. The options are either to go for it and try to retain possession, or punt. If you go for it and fall short, the opposing team would take over with good field position. In essence, punts would replace kickoffs, and punts are less susceptible to violent collisions than kickoffs. “The fact is,” Goodell says. “It’s a much different end of the play…It’s an off-the-wall idea. It’s different and makes you think differently. It did me.”

TIME’s profile also details Goodell’s road to the commissioner’s office. His father, Charles Goodell, was a congressman from New York, appointed to the Senate after RFK was assassinated. As a Republican who opposed the Vietnam war, Charles Goodell fell out of favor with the party, and lost his seat in the 1970 election. This principled stand guides all of Roger Goodell’s decisions, especially the ones that fans, players, or even owners don’t embrace. “He loved being a United States Senator,” Goodell says of his father. “My personal view is, he never got over that. And that’s sad to me on a lot of levels. But he did what was right. He knew the consequences. He knew it was going to end his career. You can’t buy a lesson like that.”

While growing up, Goodell was especially protective of his younger brother, Michael, who was the target of bullies. “Absolutely, he would beat the crap out of people,” says Michael. “Roger was not Atticus Finch.” When Michael Goodell, who came out after college, hears about gay kids committing suicide because of bullying, he reflects on how he could have been one of them. “I was the type who would have been beat up a lot,” says Michael. “It would have been humiliating. What would that have meant if I did survive it. Would I have done drugs? There are all sorts of things you can turn to because of self-hatred and loathing. But none of that was even a possibility, because I had this support around me. So, yeah, Roger is very much a hero figure for me.” During an with an interview with the commissioner, I read Michael’s words to him. Roger Goodell teared up. “Ha,” he says, sniffling, not able to say much else. “That’s the first time I heard that. I didn’t know it had much impact on him.”

In high school, Goodell — a three sport captain at Bronxville (N.Y.) High — enforced the type of player conduct code that he would later create as the commissioner of the NFL. At Bronxville, athletes were required to sign pledges that they would not drink or otherwise get into trouble. They hated when Goodell showed up to a party. “All of a sudden it was like an alarm went off,” says Michael. “They were running out of the back door as he was coming in the front door. It was like Prohibition.”

Roger excelled in sports, but he was far from the polished presences we see today. In high school, Goodell rarely hit the books. “He was a big dumb jock,” says Michael. “He played that up. He was walking around in his letter jacket, with his girlfriend on his arm and stuff. He was big man on campus.” Michael laughs. “And one of the things we used to tease him about, he just used to grunt. You know, ‘hey, Rog, how are you today? ‘Grrrr.'” Goodell cops to his academic ambivalence — though in college, he took school more seriously, and thrived. But he says he doesn’t remember the grunting. Though a couple of NFL staffers say it sounds familiar. “He just wears a different jacket now,” says one.

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This is not Roger Goodells game. This is a game seeped in tradition, and hes already destroyed much of it. The DEFENDING THE SHIELD practice has changed the game so horribly, manufacturing instances where a player is more likely to be sued because it could cause a player to be suspended. In this fact, the Defending the Shield mantra has completely backfired. More news about off field behavior is covered BECAUSE the player can be suspended.

Similar stupidity occurred when Goodell was made the sole proprietor of NFL DISCIPLINE. This should clearly be held by a group of men, not one single man. The Rice situation of a two game suspension is laughable to say the least. A group would be less likely to make such huge errors, as a single mans judgement would.

All in all, i long for the football days before Roger Goodell, where football was not a tabloid journalists dream. Time to cut the cancer from the body and replace Goodell before his actions cause any more harm to this game.

I understand the reasoning for eliminating kickoffs but don't think the move will go through. Greg Schiano (former head coach at Rutgers)proposed this rule change to Commissioner Goodell after witnessing one of his former players, Eric LeGrand, was injured.

This "feel good" piece is not warranted for Goodell. For all of this bull around him being principle based around player safety we have an expanded season and football on Thursday nights. Look at the injuries that occurred this week compared to the last two. Also, look at the injuries which will occur over this next final two weeks of the regular season. The stats don't lie. It is pretty sobering. Plus, the risk of injury playing an NFL game after such a short period to recover and such a short time period to prepare on Thursday is a reflection of pure bona fide greed. Talk is cheap and Roger has no problem with that part of it. Goodell is nothing more than a puppet for the owners. I love the game and am increasingly angered as I watch a clown like him allow it to get torn apart because he doesn't have the stones to do the right thing. This article is propaganda horse______.

Eliminating the Kickoff will be a huge sports fail like these http://bit.ly/VYm2jx By eliminating the kickoff you put hundreds of players out of work and eliminate one of the most exciting plays during the game, I understand its safety but these players no what there getting into and are getting paid well enough for the risk..What Goodell needs to eliminate is this http://bit.ly/U7Om0C

I applaud Mr. Goodell's efforts to protect and preserve the game. I believe his idea to replace the kickoff is a good one that will be met with much resistance from many fronts. I, for one, endorse it. It adds a whole new dynamic to the game, an evolution. It is disturbing to learn about the links of CTE to the NFL, so Mr. Goodell is doing what any good leader would do: mitigate the risks involved.