t felt
strange not to start breakfast, hurry the others out of bed to catch the bus. But
here he sat, snuggled with Dylan on the couch with early sunlight filtering through
the living room window. Matt moved the infant to the carrier, stood up to stretch
his legs and let out a full-bodied yawn. What a night, he thought, taking the carrier
with him to the kitchen to stare at the note tacked to the fridge. He needed to call
Ethan and Cassie's schools, let them know the Taylors wouldn't be coming in today.

Then he needed to tell Ethan and Cassie they wouldn't be going, and why.

Maybe he should have gotten more sleep, he decided, going back to the living room
to use the telephone for the second time that morning. As if he could sleep with
all this going on.

Cassie padded into the living room just as Matt got off the phone. She went straight
to the carrier, her sleepy eyes brightening at the sight of their new brother.

"Yeah, I guess." Matt scratched the back of his neck, glanced at the clock.
"Get dressed, will you, Cass? I'd like to leave in the next hour."

"I thought you didn't work Mondays."

"I don't. We're going to Beth's house for breakfast."

At once, Cassie straightened, her face thoughtful and sober. "What about school?"

"I called and let them know you and Ethan won't be coming in today."

Cassie blinked, turned to gaze at Dylan with such heartfelt longing, Matt understood
how much she wanted to keep their brother.

"Nothing's settled, Cass. Beth and I want this family to talk about it, and
see what everyone thinks."

"Oh, Matty." Cassie's blue eyes held a sheen of tears. "I'd live in
a cardboard box, if it meant we could keep him."

"You won't have to-- not with the nice house Beth has. Hey, you're not going
to start crying, are you?" With a deep sigh, Matt went to his little sister
and gave her a gentle squeeze. "There's no reason to be frightened. Beth is
trying very hard to make this work."

"What if she finds out she doesn't like us, Matty? What if she changes her mind,
and we have to give up Dylan?"

The string of what-ifs piled into Matt's mind, burdening his heart until he had no
choice but to throw them off. "If Beth hadn't spoken up when she did, we'd have
already lost Dylan. We just have to wait and see what happens, Cass. But don't worry,
God will take care of us."

"You always say that."

"Well, He always does, doesn't He?"

"I suppose." Cassie gave a noncommittal sniff. The tears for the most part
subsided, she went to change out of her pajamas.

Matt took the carrier into the boys' bedroom, tugged the window shade and let it
snap open to announce that morning had arrived. Almost at once, groans of protest
filled the room.

"C'mon guys," Matt pulled at the blanket covering Ethan and Ryan, "you
got to sleep in late this morning, and now it's time to get up."

"Oh, yes, you are. Now get up, before I haul you out of bed. You too, Ryan.
C'mon, guys-- she's making breakfast for us."

Heavy sleep blinked in Ryan's eyes and even the mention of food did little to wake
him. Matt lifted Ryan from the bed, pulled off Ryan's pajamas, then dressed his limp
little body for the day.

The entire lot of them, Dylan not included, showed up in the living room in shirts
and jeans. Gone were the Sunday long sleeves and ties, the pink barrettes and lip-gloss.
Cassie had pulled her short hair into an everyday ponytail, while Matt had simply
run his fingers through his still wet hair in an effort to save time. In a show of
defiance, Ethan pulled on a smelly black shirt as he entered the living room, then
went to change when Matt pressed the issue to its natural conclusion. Change, or
be left behind.

No matter how much Ethan complained, drug his feet and gave nasty looks, Matt knew
the last thing Ethan wanted was to be left out of the decision.

Everyone dressed, fed, pottied and diaper changed, Matt loaded the family into the
extended cab pickup. The small ones in the back, Ethan and Matt sat up front.

Hair tucked beneath a blue bandana, and donned in old jeans and a garden nursery
T-shirt, Beth worked the night through cleaning the house of dust and cobwebs. Necessity
made it easier to force aside the guilt that squeezed her heart every time she moved
through an area that held a vivid memory of Luke-- the books he had piled into the
corner of the second master bedroom, the squeaky hinge he was always promising to
fix.

Vacuuming the hobby room felt surreal, knowing Luke's "guy space" might
soon hold children, and those children, not Luke's. Beth cleaned around the books,
avoided the squeaky bedroom door by leaving it open, and busied herself with work
until exhaustion made the grief more bearable.

They would be here soon. The family that wasn't Luke's, but might soon be hers. They
would step into this house, and into the rooms that others used to call their own.
Only the former owners couldn't object, because they were buried in a cemetery beneath
a cold headstone that both father and son shared.

Enough, Beth thought. She had to keep moving, keep scrubbing and cleaning so she
wouldn't have time to think. The first rays of the morning sun spilled through the
East facing windows, coaxing Beth to leave behind the cleaning and get into the kitchen.
She had promised Matt that breakfast would be ready when they arrived, and she didn't
want to let him down.

With every window thrown open, a crisp New Mexico breeze moved through the house,
filling it with an excitement Beth had never before remembered. It simply wasn't
the fresh air, but something else even more tangible. Maybe it was hope, a second
chance at life within a family, a life Beth had thought forever gone.

It seemed odd to be preparing food for so many, but it felt good, as though she had
a purpose to do some real cooking, and not just the quick meals she fixed for herself.
With only one at the table, the work never seemed worth it. After setting the scrambled
eggs to low flame on the stove, Beth prepared the waffle iron, the mix, and every
strawberry she had left in the refrigerator. Since this meal had been a favorite
with Caleb, Beth reasoned it might go over well with Ryan. She hoped it would. Did
the other two Taylor boys like waffles? Beth's fingers trembled as she cut the few
strawberries she had into thin slices, hoping there would be enough to go around.
If she had been thinking with a mind untainted from the pungent fumes of the industrial
strength bathroom cleaner, she should have gone to the store, picked up a few things
more sure to make the boys happy. Beth hurried around the kitchen, trying not to
think about the time.

They would arrive any moment.

The sound of a vehicle pulling up in front of the house, sent shivers down Beth's
spine. If she had any spine left, after the bravery it had taken to clean the house
in the presence of her family of ghosts. Luke and Caleb were in Heaven, but that
morning, Beth felt they had descended to follow her every move, to watch as she turned
her back on them by joining another family.

Grief filled Beth as she wiped her hands on the apron tied about her waist. She had
to stop thinking like that. Her heart belonged to Luke and Caleb. Surely, they knew
that.

The doorbell rang, and Beth drew in a long breath to purge herself from the uncertainty
clinging to her heart. She moved to the front entry, put her hand on the doorknob
and prayed. The door opened, and four young faces-- Matt's included-- greeted her
with solemn "hellos" and restive glances. The baby carrier hung from Matt's
hand, Dylan stirring with the slight motion and the sound of voices. Cassie and Ryan
stuck to Matt's side like glue when Beth invited them inside. Ethan wore a perpetual
scowl as he followed Matt into the house, then slumped against the wall and folded
his arms as though he were there out of protest.

"Hope we're not too early," Matt said. His gaze went to her head, and she
could tell he did his best not to smile.

Suddenly remembering the bandanna, Beth tugged it off. "I must look terrible,"
she said, glancing to the entryway mirror. A smudged face with glaring red hair tied
into a messy braid, stared back at her. "After a night of house cleaning, the
place is presentable, but I'm afraid I'm not." She looked away from the sorry
reflection, back to the Taylors. "If everyone is ready, I'll serve the eggs
and start making waffles."

No reaction from Ryan, Beth thought with a dismal sigh. Oh, well. So much for that.

She showed them past the kitchen, invited them into the dining area where she had
set the table for breakfast. Her eyes traveled to the carrier as Matt placed it on
the table. The infant was looking about, his dark eyes going from one object to another.
Ryan claimed the chair on Matt's right, and Cassie took the one on Matt's left. The
small boy kept looking to Matt for assurance, while Cassie seemed content to just
stay next to Matt. In a show of I-don't-care, you-can't-intimidate-me, Ethan took
a chair directly opposite the others.

Despite the almost hostile looks from Ethan, Beth felt her heart beating easier.
Seeing them had that effect on her.

She went into the kitchen, returned with scrambled eggs and a pitcher of milk.

"I hope everyone came hungry," she said, pouring Ryan and Cassie each a
glass of milk while Ethan helped himself to the eggs. "I haven't made Belgian
waffles in a long time. In our house, they were always considered something of a
treat."

Ryan looked at her with cautious curiosity. "What are waffles?"

"Don't tell me you've never had Belgian waffles." Beth opened her mouth
in surprise. "Fancy pancakes with powered sugar and strawberries? No? None of
you? Well, you're all in for a surprise. My little boy couldn't get enough of them."

As Beth went back to the kitchen for the coffee pot, she hoped she didn't betray
undue astonishment. Never had waffles? Of course they required a waffle iron, some
patience to keep up with fast eaters and hungry stomachs, but still, hadn't their
mom ever done that for them? Such a simple thing, and yet, it made Beth wonder what
else Eve had neglected to do for her own children.

The cooking went at a steady pace, the children eating as fast as Beth could turn
out waffles. After letting the younger ones go first, Matt gulped down waffles with
maple syrup, strawberries and powdered sugar. He kept saying "Thank you,"
whenever Beth gave him more, so she continued to feed him until he at last gave a
satisfied smile, and a "Thanks, but I couldn't hold another bite." Ryan
ate with a large sloppy grin, a milk mustache perched over his mouth and syrup dabbled
on his chin. More than once, Matt cleaned Ryan's face, and kept urging the boy to
use his napkin. With full tummies, the Taylors seemed more relaxed than when they
first arrived.

When Dylan stirred in the carrier, Beth looked to Matt for permission.

"Go ahead," Matt smiled. "You've been dying to ask ever since we set
foot in this house."

"My clothes are dirty," she warned, but when Matt only shrugged, Beth got
to her feet and moved around the table to pick up Dylan. "Who's the cutie-pie?"
she cooed to the baby. Gentle hands lifted Dylan and he reached out and grabbed her
bottom lip with tiny fingers. Large, dark eyes followed her mouth as it moved. "Such
a sweet boy," Beth sighed, hugging the baby to her shoulder. "Has he eaten?"

Matt nodded. "I fed and changed him before we left."

Feeling more sure of herself, Beth pressed forward. "Would you like to see the
rest of the house?"

In unison, the children looked to Matt.

"Okay," he said, scooting back the chair as he rose. "I told them
it's all right to ask questions, so you've been warned."

With Dylan in her arms, Beth felt she could brave anything, even the four anxious
faces that watched her closely as she talked about the house.

"This used to be the home of a popular architect in the area," Beth said,
showing them to the right side of the building. "His parents-in-law lived with
him and his wife, so the layout sprawls out to the left and right, kind of like two
separate houses, but with a common living room, dining area, and kitchen."

As she talked, Ethan turned and looked through one of the three sets of glass double
doors, lining the North wall of the adjoining dining area and living room, that offered
a good view of the patio. Ethan jabbed Matt in the ribs, jerked his chin at the patio
with an awed grin. Matt gave him a sharp warning look that even Beth couldn't ignore,
then took a deep breath and continued to listen as she talked about the house.

"There's two main wings and a master bedroom on each wing. This one, the one
on the right, is my room." Beth invited the group inside to look around, then
closed the door when Matt tugged at Ethan's arm to stay where he was. Beth moved
on to the second bedroom on the right wing of the house. "This is-- I mean,
was-- Caleb's room. I was thinking it might do well for the little ones, but then
it occurred to me you might prefer to have the girls on one side of the house, and
the boys on the other." Beth led them inside a neat single bedroom with soft
blue walls and an empty crib by the window. "We could repaint the room to suit
Cassie," Beth offered, leading them to the adjoining bathroom. They looked at
the bathroom, the bedroom, then at each other.

When Beth asked Cassie what she thought, Cassie smiled politely, but seemed at a
loss for words.

"Let's move to the left wing," Beth said, leading them through the dining
area and living room, to the other side of the house. "This is the second master
bedroom, the one the architect's in-laws used." Beth opened the door, showed
Matt and his family inside. "I was thinking you might like this room, Matt.
It has a master bath, of course, and you could be near the boys. The room next to
this is the guest bedroom, and it has its own bathroom and a nice closet. I thought
it would do for Ethan, and the hobby room beside that could be converted into a nursery
for Ryan and Dylan."

Looking intrigued, Ethan went to the glass double doors in the master bedroom and
shoved them open, stepping out onto the small private patio that mirrored the one
off Beth's room. "Hey, Matty, get a load of this."

His face creasing in a conscious frown, Matt followed the teenager outside. Ryan
stuck to Matt's side so hard, Matt finally lifted the boy into his arms, where the
child seemed much more happy.

With an encouraging pat on the shoulder, Beth coaxed Cassie onto the patio with the
others.

"That's a pecan tree," Beth said, nodding to the tree North of the private
patio. Matt had already met that tree, having earlier buried Bailey beneath the shelter
of its sturdy branches. Deciding not to mention that for Ryan's sake, as well as
her own, Beth went on. "The see-through building to the right is a greenhouse,
and then there's the tool shed, and then, of course, at the opposite end of the house
is my patio."

Beth moved down the patio steps from what she already considered as Matt's master
bedroom, and onto the wide common patio that spanned between the two wings of the
house. A Mexican-style breezeway traveled around the edge of the patio, while red
brick paved the patio floor. The backyard had only nominal grass, for most of it
was just dry dirt and gravel, but on the whole, Beth thought it didn't look too bad.

"Well," Beth turned to Matt, each holding a little boy in their arms, "what
do you think?"

Matt blew out a heavy breath. "I don't know. It's all so... so big."

"Luke had plans to remodel, and at first suggested we rent out some of the rooms--"
Beth stopped, bit her lip to control the tremor in her voice. "I never wanted
tenants, so Luke had his parents stay with us for part of the year. They move around
a lot-- Luke's parents, I mean. After Luke died, they stopped visiting." Beth
forced herself to swallow back the grief welling in her chest. "I'm afraid if
we convert the hobby room into the boys' nursery, they won't have their own bathroom."

Matt gave her an unconcerned smile. "They can use mine."

"Is it all right if I look around on my own?" Ethan glanced to Matt, then
Beth for permission.

"Sure," Beth said, "but don't you have any questions for me, first?"

"What's to ask?" Ethan shrugged. "You and Matty are getting married.
I don't think it's a great deal for Matty, but me? I could get used to this."

"Cass," Matt nodded to his sister, "would you take Ryan for a little
while? I need to talk to Beth."

With Cassie and Ryan tagging after Ethan, Matt called to them to stay near the house.

"This place is amazing," Matt sighed, glancing about the patio, then through
the double glass doors that looked back into the living room and dining area. "It's
overwhelming. I don't know what to say."

"Say 'yes,'" Beth smiled.

Looking a bit skeptical, Matt turned to the private patio behind him, then at the
one on the opposite end of the house. "Do you think it's enough distance between
us?"

"As long as we're careful, I think it'll be enough." Beth tried to sound
as positive as she could, though she felt more uncertain than she sounded.

"Right," Matt said with a drawn-out laugh. "You could be on the other
side of New Mexico, and it not be far enough."

The candid remark didn't surprise Beth as much as she thought it would. It didn't
even shock her. Unnerve, yes, but she felt no shock. "What I said before-- about
this marriage being in name only, still goes. But if anything happens to change that..."
Beth bit her lip and felt herself blush at Matt's frank gaze. "We're going to
need another talk before either of us does anything rash."

"I'm not going to break down your bedroom door, Beth."

"I didn't say you were."

"I know where we stand," he insisted. "Don't worry, I won't do anything
to change our agreement."

"That's not what I meant, Matt."

"Well, it's what I meant. You may have different ideas-- I don't know,
and frankly, I don't want to know. I'm only staying here to raise the others, and
to pay you back for your kindness." The Stetson had been left inside on the
sofa, and Beth could easily see the dark eyes that flashed at her without concealment.
"Don't try to get to know me any more than you already do, and don't wish yourself
into my bed; I might not have the strength to turn you away, and then we'd both be
sorry."

In the shade of the breezeway over the patio, Beth cuddled Dylan closer. She felt
as though she had been slapped, but in an odd twist, she could summon no anger or
resentment. Matt had cut himself off, without any hope of even discussing the possibility
of their relationship turning into something more precious.

"Don't look at me like that," Matt leveled her a knowing glare. "I
don't want your pity. All I want is what's best for the others. That's it."

"All right, Matt. I won't talk about it any further." She patted Dylan's
sleeper, then decided to take the infant into the house to give him his bottle. She
had seen the diaper bag on the living room sofa, and started to open a patio door
to go inside.

"Beth." Matt called after her, and she turned to look at him.

Never before did she feel so sorry for Matt, than she did at that moment. He thought
so badly of himself, he refused to even consider his own happiness.

"I didn't mean to bark at you."

"You didn't," she said with a sigh in her voice.

He swallowed, stared at the toes of his boots, then back at her. "The others
need this to work, and I don't want to mess it up for them."

"You haven't, Matt."

He looked unsure. "You're giving up so much, and I have to jump down your throat."

"Would you cut it out?" Beth offered him a smile which he accepted with
only the faintest of half grins. "Stop beating yourself up. I'm not offended
that you spoke your mind, and I think we understand each other well enough to do
the next logical thing."

"Which is?"

"We need to get a marriage license."

He scowled. "I thought you said logical."

"Matt, a few moments ago you admitted the children needed this."

"Yeah, yeah, I know."

"We need a marriage license," she said, allowing the necessity of the situation
to lend force to her words, "and we need to get married."

"When?"

"I was thinking later this afternoon, after the children have had a chance to
voice any objections or concerns."

Looking lost and more than a little bewildered, Matt let out a small groan. "Is
it even possible to marry so soon? Isn't there a waiting period for the license or
something?"

"Do you need to wait, Matt?"

"No, but isn't it the law?"

"There's no waiting period in New Mexico. We can get the license and marry as
soon as we want. And considering the things we need to set in motion to keep Dylan,
why not today?"

"Today." Matt sounded hesitant, but then his gaze shifted to the baby in
her arms and he nodded in agreement. "You're sure about there not being any
waiting period?"

"I have a confession to make," Beth said, biting her lip and then wincing
when she realized her lip had become sore. "Last night, I didn't only clean
the house, I went online and did some research."

"I see." A reluctant smile tugged at a corner of Matt's mouth. He took
a deep breath, turned his head and watched the three children explore the back property.
Matt's hair ruffled in the breeze with the look of a boy who wanted to play. Then
his dark eyes turned on Beth, and the image of a child vanished-- but not so much,
she still couldn't see the playful boy in those handsome features. "All right,
Beth. I have to talk it over with the others, but I say let's do it."

Not a very romantic way to put things, Beth thought, looking Matt over in his untucked
shirt and faded jeans, but then, this wasn't supposed to be a romantic moment.

Then why did a nervous-happy tingle insist on dancing its way to her heart?

When he sighed, she couldn't help smiling. "Don't look so glum, Matt. You're
not losing your bachelorhood, you're gaining a house with no mortgage and a roof
that needs repairs."

His brows went up in bemused delight. "No mortgage?"

"See? You're interested." Smiling, she took Dylan inside, and left Matt
on the patio to talk to his brothers and sister in private.

Today. Matt thought it over, shut his eyes and prayed before talking to the others.
He took in the farmland surrounding the property, the furrowed ground, the subtle
smell of fertilizer that gave the definite impression of farm country. As Matt approached,
he saw Ethan and Ryan crouched over an anthill, Ryan dipping a finger into the busy
column before yanking it out with a shout of laughter. Cassie stood nearby, pushing
the windblown hair from her eyes and waiting for nothing in particular. When Matt
joined them, Ethan straightened and stared Matt in the eye.

"Well?" Ethan asked.

The irritation in the teenager's face annoyed Matt. "It's what you think it
is. Unless you guys fight it, Beth and I are getting married."

"I thought so." Ethan folded his arms. "Congratulations, I guess."

"This is for the best, Ethan."

"If you say so." Ethan turned to look at the anthill. "When's it going
to be?"

"Yeah, I guess it is," Matt caught the unspoken jolt of happiness from
Cassie, "but Beth and I have a lot to get done before we can keep Dylan."

The frown on Ethan's face deepened, but he said nothing.

"Cass?" Matt addressed his sister. "Do you have anything you want
to add before Beth and I go through with this? Like I said before, everyone in this
family has to agree."

"I agree," she said with a quick smile. The sentimental hope in Cassie's
voice stopped Matt from probing further. Knowing Cassie, she was weaving romantic
notions he would only have to deny. Much better to leave the whole thing alone, than
to get tangled in pre-teen logic.

"Ryan, what about you?" When the boy continued to play with the ants, Matt
stood the four-year-old up and brushed the insects from his hand. "Ryan, Beth
and I want to get married. Do you understand?"

The small boy puzzled over the question, then his eyes grew wide. "Does that
mean we get to stay here?"

"Yes, but that's not what I'm asking you."

With an impatient groan, Ethan tugged at Ryan's arm to get the boy's attention. "Ry,
Beth is going to be your sister-in-law."

"But I already have a sister," Ryan said, looking to Cassie in alarm.

"You're going to get another one," Matt said, moving the boy's head to
make sure he held Ryan's full attention. "I need to know what you think."

"A sister!" Cassie gasped in unconcealed delight. "Oh, Matty!"

Ryan frowned. "But I wanted a mommy."

"Unless Beth tells you different, you'll have to make due with another sister.
Cass, would you calm down?"

"Calm down!" Ethan gave Cassie a hard nudge with his elbow, nearly knocking
her sideways.

The tension in the air pulled taut as Matt stared down his teenage brother. "What's
gotten into you? You have a gripe, let's hear it."

"Yeah, I got a gripe." Ethan squared his shoulders. "It's bad enough
having one in the family telling me what to do, and now there's going to be two!"

"Is that all?" Matt didn't want to press Ethan, but he had little choice.
Beth had said today. "You told me yesterday that my religion was rubbing off
on you. Is this how you show it?"

Frustration balled Ethan's fists, but he didn't move. "What if she kicks us
out, Matty? Have you ever thought of that? What if she decides she doesn't want us
anymore?"

"Beth isn't Mom."

"But what if she is?"

"Beth wouldn't do that to us. She's better than that."

The fists at Ethan's side opened, his fingers flexed, his system working through
the tension and fear. "Why can't we just take Dylan and leave town? Go someplace
they don't know us, and we tell everyone that Dylan is your kid. No one would bother
us, then."

"I can't leave my job."

"You'd find another."

"How do you know?"

"You're the one always claiming God is looking after us. Let Him worry
about it."

"God is looking after us, and I can prove it. He sent Beth."

Chest heaving, Ethan stared at Matt with a fear Matt understood. They would be placing
a great deal of trust in one person, and if things didn't work out, the consequences
would be high.

"Do you really believe that?" Ethan asked. "Do you really trust her?"

"I do." Matt forced himself to swallow. Make that two people; he was asking
them to not only trust Beth, but to also trust him that this was the right decision.
Matt prayed for wisdom, and felt God pushing him forward when Ethan's fists relaxed.

Eyes still wary, but now a little more trusting, Ethan backed down with a nod of
cautious agreement. "Okay. My vote is yes."

Seated on one of the living room sofas, with Dylan snuggled in her arm and nursing
on a bottle, Beth heard a patio door open behind her. She looked up as Matt and the
other children filed inside.

"We've got the go-ahead," Matt said, shoving his hands into his pockets
while a beaming Cassie settled on the sofa beside Beth. "I guess I'm ready when
you are."

"Dylan is almost finished," Beth said, noting the difference between Matt
and Ethan's sober expressions, and that of smiling Cassie's. "Are you all sure?
Once Matt and I do this, it won't be easy to undo."

A grunting, "I've got a question," came from Ethan as he dropped into the
sofa next to hers. "What if Mom won't give us Dylan, after all? What then?"

Taking time to think the question over, Beth removed Dylan's bottle, then moved the
newborn to her shoulder for an after meal burp. "I want to be a part of this
family for as long as you want me."

"Which means?" Ethan asked.

"It means," Beth paused, choosing her words with careful consideration,
"this will be your home for as long as you want it, whether Dylan is here, or
not. This arrangement isn't just for the baby, but for everyone."

"But if Dylan wasn't in the picture, this wouldn't be happening, right?"

"Yes, that's probably true." A small burp sounded in her ear, and Beth
lifted the baby back into the carrier. She turned to face Ethan and the others. "I
admit Dylan is the primary excuse for this arrangement, but he's not my only excuse.
To be honest, I don't want to live by myself. I want to belong again, to be really
needed by someone besides employees and bill collectors. Perhaps you think it was
selfish of me for proposing to Matt the way I did, but I keep telling myself that
I won't be the only one to benefit. If you choose, Ethan, you could go to college.
I can't promise it will be an Ivy League education, but I'll do everything I can
to help you get into the best school we can afford."

"We?" Ethan slumped back on the sofa. He slanted a look at Matt, who remained
quiet and standing. "Just for the record, no one bought my vote. I didn't say
'yes,' so I could get anything out of this, but Dylan."

Beth smiled. "I appreciate your honesty."

The suspicious gleam in Ethan's eye didn't fade, but he held his skepticism at bay.
He said nothing as Ryan climbed onto the sofa and asked to hold the baby.

"Matt?" Beth offered Dylan to the oldest brother, and he stepped forward
to accept the bundle. "I'll let you decide what to do about Ryan. Right now,
I need to shower and get changed for the wedding."

The baby cradled in his arm, Matt looked Beth over. "Do you want me to go home
and change into my Sunday clothes? We're going to look kind of silly, you all dressed
up and me in my shirt and jeans."

"Please, Matt," she moved to her feet, and he stepped back to give her
room. "I don't want to get married looking like this. I've been up since two,
maybe even earlier-- I can't remember-- I'm covered in dust and grime, my nails are
filthy and so is my face. And besides that, I smell."

"You look fine to me," Matt said, nodding to Ryan as the boy tugged at
his shirt to hold the baby. "Shower if you want, but I was only saying, we're
going to look lopsided if you get dressed up and I don't."

"Please, Matt."

He grinned. "I take it, you want me to change. All right, Beth, if that's what
you want. Ethan, Cassie-- watch the little ones while I go home and get ready."

"Can I hold the baby?" Ryan directed the question to Cassie when she stood
up to take Dylan from Matt.

"I'm getting hungry," Ethan said, checking his watch and groaning at the
lateness of the day. "It's almost noon."

"Help yourself to whatever is in the kitchen," Beth called out before disappearing
into her bedroom. She had a lot to do, and not a lot of time to do it in.

Today, she was getting married. Beth only hoped Luke didn't mind.

The drive home passed quicker than Matt thought it would, his mind somewhat dazed
by what was happening. He jogged to his room, picked Sunday's clothes out of the
hamper, then twisted on the shower. If Beth wanted things to be a little special,
then so be it. She wouldn't be getting a big wedding, or anything nice, so if she
wanted the groom to be at least presentable, Matt could hardly blame her.

The groom, Matt thought in numb wonderment. What in the world was he doing? And what
would Pastor Mark say, when they showed up to ask for an impromptu marriage ceremony
in a small corner of the church? He'd probably talk them out of it, or at least try
to. After all the talking they'd done to get themselves into this situation, to find
the courage and actually go through with the marriage, Matt wasn't so sure he wanted
the added challenge of convincing his pastor that this was what God wanted.

Someone was going to a lot of trouble to keep this family together, and if it wasn't
God, Matt didn't know who. Not even Beth, in all her loneliness, could orchestrate
these special circumstances to fall out the way they did. And after taking into account
the studying he had done early that morning, combing God's Word for wisdom and direction,
Matt felt more sure than ever that he understood God's will.

In all probability, Pastor Mark wouldn't see it that way, but Matt sure did.

In ten minutes flat, Matt had showered and dressed. As he tucked the long sleeved
shirt into Sunday's blue jeans, he wondered if he should kiss Beth. At the end of
weddings, the guy was supposed to kiss his wife, wasn't he? Just because there wasn't
going to be a honeymoon, didn't mean he couldn't kiss her, did it? Pastor Mark would
expect a kiss, and so would everyone else. The alternative flashed through Matt's
mind, and he pictured himself shaking Beth's hand after the ceremony.

Nope, Matt needed to kiss her. Perhaps just a peck on the cheek? He frowned as he
grabbed his keys, locked the front door, then hurried back to the pickup. Maybe the
direct approach would be best-- smack on the lips. Oh yeah, Matt thought, he could
do that. For a few dazzling moments, he imagined what that kiss would be like, how
it would feel to have her close.

Reality tumbled Matt back to his senses, or what was left of them after his fantasy
lifted. Disappointment pulled at him as he remembered he had to live within the boundaries
of their agreement. Kisses were dangerous-- Matt knew it, understood it without question,
and yet, this was their wedding. If an exception could ever be found, surely today
would be the occasion.

Just once, he decided, tensing his hands around the steering wheel as he headed back
to Beth's house. Just this one time, he would relax his guard and kiss Beth.

A grinning idiot caught his attention in the rearview mirror, and Matt decided to
ignore him. He needed to be happy, to let whatever joy existed in the moment, carry
over to help pacify future disappointments. A marriage of convenience. Beth had all
but called it that when she talked to Ethan, and it made sense to Matt. Was this
a fair exchange? Right now, despite the sacrifice of not being able to marry for
outright love, Matt felt as though he and the children were getting the better end
of the bargain.

Except, of course, for that painful line drawn at Beth's bedroom door-- the door
he promised not to break down.

"I have totally lost it," Matt breathed. "But crazy or not, I want
that wedding kiss."

Wrapped in a bathrobe, Beth inspected the walk-in-closet and tried to picture herself
getting married in one of those dresses. A knock at the bedroom door had her shouting
to ask who it was.

"It's me-- Cassie."

"Come in, Cassie. I'm in the closet."

When the young girl came to where Beth stood at the racks of clothes, Beth gave her
a smile. "I'm afraid I'm not ready yet. Is Matt back?"

With a shy nod of her head, Cassie leaned against the closet door. "He's in
the kitchen with Ethan and Ryan, making peanut butter sandwiches. I hope that's okay."

"There was better than peanut butter in the pantry, but it's all right with
me. I told them to help themselves, and that goes for you, too."

Cassie shrugged. "I'm not hungry."

With a small laugh, Beth resumed the dress hunt. "Leave it to a man to eat on
the verge of making a life-changing commitment. Oh, well, maybe you can help me make
a decision of my own. I can't decide what to wear to the wedding." The words
sounded surreal to Beth's ears, prompting a quick pinch to the arm to ensure she
wasn't dreaming.

"Beth?" Cassie tilted her pretty blonde head to one side. "Can I ask
you a question?"

Somewhat alarmed by the serious tone of the request, Beth nodded to Cassie. "Ask
away."

"Matty said you're going to be my sister. Is that true?"

Feeling more relieved then she realized, Beth blew out a small sigh. Of all the questions
Cassie could asked, that one seemed safe. "Technically, I'll be your sister-in-law,
but if you like, I have no problem considering you as my sister." It warmed
Beth's heart to see the delicate smile on Cassie's face, the way the girl stepped
forward to give Beth a heartfelt hug. "You're a sweet girl, Cassie. Thank you."

"I'm so happy," Cassie said, brushing the tears from her eyes. "I've
wanted a sister for so long..."

"Now, now," Beth hugged the girl in the hopes of calming her down. She
had seen the way Matt handled Cassie with great gentleness, and endeavored to do
the same. "Try to dry your tears, Sweetheart. I think I understand. I have an
older brother and a younger sister, and I can't imagine not having them around when
I was growing up."

Cassie dried the tears and gave Beth such a sincere smile, Beth had to hug her once
more before letting go.

"Aren't you still close with your brother and sister?"

"Not especially." Beth turned to face the dresses instead of the question.

"Why not?" Cassie asked, coming to Beth's side to stare at the same racks
of clothes.

"Oh, many reasons, I suppose. They're both doctors, with successful careers
and growing families. It's difficult for us to keep in touch, and when I'm around
them, I often feel left out." Beth startled at her own honesty. She had yet
to really admit that to herself, let alone to Cassie.

"You feel left out because your husband and little boy died?"

"Yes, I think that's true." The admission caused Beth pain, and she squeezed
her lips together to stop from saying more.

With Cassie's help, Beth chose a soft gray, one-piece dress with long sleeves, matching
high heels, and an elegant string of white pearls to wear at her throat. She put
her hair up in an elegant French twist, applied makeup, added a touch of perfume,
then announced she was ready to go.

What on earth was Beth doing in there? How long did it take a person to shower and
change? His lunch eaten over an hour ago, Matt and the others waited on the living
room sofas for something to happen. And then it did. Beth and Cassie came into the
room, and Matt couldn't take his eyes off of Beth. She had that flaming red hair
fixed in a fancy braid again, and a gray dress fitted over her slender curves.

"Well?" Beth asked. "What do you think?"

When Matt tried to swallow, his mouth felt as dry as New Mexico's famous white sands.
"I-- I think you look fine."

"I'll take that as a compliment," Beth said with a smile. She placed her
purse on the coffee table. "I've been thinking it over, and before we leave
for the county clerk's office to get our marriage license, we need to make two calls.
First, we should call our pastor and ask if he's available to preside over the wedding
ceremony. Second, I need to call my parents and let them know what I'm about to do."

Pulling out his cell phone, Matt stepped into the dining area and speed-dialed his
pastor's number. Matt already had a good idea of what the man would say, and tried
to brace himself for the impending conversation. When Matt discovered Pastor Mark's
cell phone wasn't turned on, Matt couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief. They
could always find someone else to marry them. Then Matt thought of trying Pastor
Mark's home number, and he dutifully made the call. When an answering machine announced
Pastor Mark wasn't home, Matt decided to hang up without leaving a message.

There would be plenty of time to talk to him later.

Tucking the cell phone back into his hip pocket, Matt went to the other side of the
open space, and waited for Beth. Through the glass doors, he could see her outside
on the patio, an expensive looking cell phone pressed to a lovely ear. Her eyes trained
on the red bricks, then turned upward. She shook her head, folded away the phone.
When she stepped into the living room, he saw the bright smile on her lips.

"Mom and Dad weren't home. All I got was an answering machine, so I suppose
I'll have to let them know after the fact, instead of before."

"Did you try their cellphones?" In all good conscience, Matt had to ask.
If Beth could be talked out of this marriage, it would be better to get it over with
now.

A smile curved Beth's lips. "They don't carry phones."

"Did you try your brother, your sister?"

Beth shrugged. "I'll tell them later. What about Pastor Mark? What did he have
to say about our plans?"

"He wasn't home."

"Did you try his cell phone?"

"It wasn't on."

"Did you leave any messages?"

"Did you leave a message with your parents?"

The two stared at each other, and Matt knew she hadn't. He had to chuckle in spite
of himself. "If we're about to make a tragic mistake, no one is home to stop
us."

"Do you think we're making a tragic mistake?"

"No, I don't."

"Then let's go get married."

It sounded reasonable enough, though Matt wasn't sure how reasonable he felt when
everyone went outside to his pickup truck and there wasn't room for Beth-- not with
Dylan's carrier in the backseat. Driving her sedan, Beth led the way to the Doña
Ana County Clerk's office in Las Cruces, while Matt and the others followed in his
pickup.

Matt didn't remember getting out, unstrapping the baby carrier, following Beth into
the building with his brothers and sister close on his heels. Ethan had to help him
remember his address when it came time to fill out the paperwork, and when it came
down to it, Matt couldn't even remember his middle name. It was Logan.

With no blood test, no physical exams, and no waiting period, Matt and Beth soon
left the office with their marriage license.

He blinked at her, and she took a deep breath.

"Does this mean you guys are married?" Cassie wondered out loud.

"No, now we need someone to actually preside over a wedding ceremony."
Beth dialed information on her cell phone. When she hung up, her face was sober. "There's
no Justice of the Peace in Las Cruces. It looks as though we're going to need a licensed
minister."

"His cell phone isn't on, Beth. I tried."

"Try again. Unless you know of someone else, we need Pastor Mark."

"I don't think he'll do it."

"You could always ask. If you're too afraid, I'll make the call."

"I never said anything about being afraid." Scowling at Beth, Matt pulled
out his phone. "His cell phone is off, and he's not at home. It's just that simple."

"But you didn't even leave him a message."

"Hey, I didn't see you tying up your parents' answering machine."

That silenced her. Biting her lip again, Beth's absent fingers toyed with the strand
of pearls about her neck in an unusual show of nerves. Finally, a crack in the porcelain
doll. Matt swallowed any satisfaction he had at knowing she was just as nervous as
he was, and tried Pastor Mark's cell phone number again. If they both were this nervous
just calling up their pastor, how would they ever make it through the ceremony? That
is, if Pastor Mark ever let them get that far.

To Matt's reluctant relief, the call answered.

"What can I do for you, Matt?" Pastor Mark asked in his usual upbeat voice.

Turning his back so Beth couldn't see any fear, Matt took a deep breath and summoned
courage he didn't know he had. "I was wondering if you'd do me a big favor."

"Name it. Are you short on rent money again?"

Matt took a quick glance at Beth in her soft gray dress, classy high heels, and observed
her attentive expression. She was listening to every word Matt said. "No, I
don't need any money. I was wondering if you'd be willing to marry me and Beth."
There, he had said it. Matt rubbed the back of his neck, grateful the moment was
over.

Relief turned back to raw nerves when Pastor Mark fired a string of rapid questions
at Matt.

"Marry? You? I didn't even know you were dating. Who is Beth? Have I
met her?"

"You know Beth-- Beth Carter, the woman who comes to our church. She and I want
to get married. We have the marriage license, but now we need someone to make it
official."

"I'm sorry, Matt, I need to sit down. Am I hearing you correct? You... and Beth
Carter? The same Beth Carter who owns and operates the garden nursery downtown? Your
boss?"

"Yeah, that's the one," Matt shifted in his boots, unsure how to take his
pastor's incredulity.

"And you proposed to her?"

"Pastor Mark, Beth and I want to get married. Is that so hard to accept?"

The minister gave an audible sigh. "I suppose this is more of a shock than it
should be. I knew you and she were getting to be good friends-- you were confiding
in her, that much I knew-- and I admit to entertaining a thought about that developing
into something more. But your call stuns me, Matt. I never considered it seriously,
and especially not so soon after you two met. What date have you set for the wedding?"

Matt gulped. "Today."

"Today? What's the rush? Is someone in trouble?"

"I suppose, in a way, someone is in trouble. But it's not what you think,
Pastor Mark. Beth isn't pregnant, but there is a baby involved." Doing his best
to stay calm, Matt explained the situation to the bewildered minister, not holding
anything back or the fact it would be a marriage in name only. When it was over,
Pastor Mark gave an audible sigh.

"I see," the minister said after another long pause. "Have you and
Beth given this prayerful thought? Have you asked God what He wants you to do?"

"I'll pass the phone to Beth, so you can talk to her yourself, but I've asked
God for help, and He answered. I've prayed and read my Bible, and talked it over
with the others. Beth and I are dead serious about this."

"Matt, I'll be honest with you. I have grave reservations about this arrangement.
You say it's a platonic relationship, but you'll be living together in the same house."

Indignant, Matt forgot he had an audience and his voice rose several notches. "If
I say Beth and I won't have sex, then we won't have sex! I'd never lie to you about
that!"

"Don't be offended, Matt. I trust your sincerity, but I need time to think this
over. Please pass the phone to Beth."

Matt turned to see Beth staring at him, her lips parted in waiting anticipation.

"He wants to talk to you," Matt said, shoving the cell phone into her hand.
He took a few steps back, paced and watched Beth's face as she spoke to the pastor.

Beth nodded. "Yes, we're serious."

Feeling a burst of self-conscious awareness, Matt turned to see Ethan with the baby
carrier, Cassie and Ryan rooted quietly at Ethan's side.

"I didn't say a word," Ethan grinned.

The phone passed back to Matt, and Pastor Mark told him to bring everyone to the
church office. They needed to talk things over before any decisions could be made.

Somewhat over the hill of middle-aged life, Pastor Mark had a full head of salt and
pepper hair, a stomach that bulged (though he was losing weight with the help of
the Lord), and lines that creased his face more and more over the years. When Beth
saw him sitting behind the desk in the church office, she wondered if he looked older
than his years because of the challenging situations his congregation got themselves
into. With that patient greeting and tired smile, he looked as though he were yet
again being tested by God through the people to whom he ministered.

When the pastor spoke, however, it wasn't weariness in his voice, but caution.

"I've been sitting here, thinking and praying over your plans. I want you to
be aware that when you both take these vows, in the sight of God, myself, and everyone
else, you two will be married. Though it's in name only, this will mean a sacred,
lasting commitment."

"But what if we choose to have our marriage annulled in twenty or thirty years?"
Beth asked.

With a low groan, the patient, tired lines on Pastor Mark's face deepened. "In
all honesty, do you expect people to believe the marriage has never been consummated
in all those years? It's a lot to ask of anyone. What I suggest is this: enter into
the marriage with the sincere intention of staying together, abstain from sex if
you both so choose, but don't be surprised when people refuse to believe your relationship
is platonic. Truly, as long as they know you're both in this for the long haul, it
doesn't really matter what they think. You're married, and what you choose to do,
or not do, is your business. To a certain extent, you'd also be safe-proofing your
marriage by not placing undue temptation in each other's way. Keep the marriage in
name only, but make the marriage last. It's the best advice I have to offer."

Beth nodded. "Matt and I need to talk this over."

"What's to talk about?" Matt asked. "Unless you tell me you want out,
I say we go for it."

"Are you sure, Matt? You'd be making a serious commitment without love."

"So? You'd be doing the same thing."

"This is big, Matt. Very big."

"No offense to you, Beth, but I don't have much of a choice. It's either give
up Dylan, or go through with the marriage."

"In name only?" she asked.

"Yup," he nodded, "name only."

"Okay," Beth sighed, turning back to Pastor Mark, "we agree to make
the commitment."

The pastor looked at each with a steady gaze, then closed his eyes as though in prayerful
thought. "Matt, I don't know if I've ever told you this, but I've been petitioning
God to give you a helpmeet to share in your burdens."

"You have?" Matt looked surprised. "I wish you'd told me that sooner.
God might have worked things out differently if I had put a stop to those prayers."

His eyes opening, Pastor Mark smiled for the first time since their arrival. "Just
as God called you away from drugs for a purpose, I believe all things will continue
to work together for your good. Never underestimate Romans eight, twenty-eight."
He remained silent a few moments, then beamed at the carrier hanging from Matt's
hand. "What a tiny newborn. May I hold him?"

With a smiling shrug, Matt placed the carrier on the office desk, then scooped out
a blinking Dylan with both hands. Matt lifted the infant into Pastor Mark's awaiting
arms. "He has my Mom's eyes, and the rest I guess I have to credit to Wade."

"God must surely get the credit for such a child as this," the pastor said
with marked tenderness in his voice. "So this is the reason two people are forever
changing their lives. Such a small person, making such a great change." Pastor
Mark looked up, smiled first at Matt, then Beth. "It would be my privilege to
marry you."

Fifteen minutes after calling the needed witnesses for the ceremony, (Pastor Mark's
wife and a next door neighbor), the two volunteers arrived in a hurried bustle of
congratulations and apologies for being late. They admired the baby for several moments,
prolonging Beth's nervousness over the life-altering commitment she was about to
make. Matt looked patient but eager to get it over with, and after assembling everyone
in the office in their proper places, Cassie as maid of honor and Ethan as best man,
Pastor Mark began the ceremony while Dylan fussed in the pastor's wife's arms.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God, and in the
face of this company, to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony..."

Beth felt her palms grow moist as she listened to the words. When Pastor Mark asked
Matt, "Wilt thou have this woman to thy wedded wife, to live together after
God's ordinance in the holy estate of matrimony? Wilt thou comfort her, honour her,
and keep her in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, keep thee only
unto her, so long as ye both shall live?" and made no mention at all of love,
Beth understood Pastor Mark had left it out on purpose. It hurt more than Beth thought
it would, but she knew it was for the best. They were making promises that could
be kept, not ones that were fancifully out of reach.

Matt gave a sturdy, "I will," and then it was Beth's turn.

"Wilt thou have this man to thy wedded husband, to live together after God's
ordinance in the holy estate of matrimony? Wilt thou obey him, and serve him, honour,
and keep him in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, keep thee only
unto him, so long as ye both shall live?"

"I will." Beth admitted her voice sounded shaky, but she had said the right
words. The sacred words that would make her part of a family again.

Then came time to exchange vows, and Matt and Beth quickly realized they had no rings.

"No matter, it's legal without them," Pastor Mark said, and continued on
with the ceremony. Matt repeated the pastor's words, again leaving out any references
to love, and then Beth did likewise. Afterward, Pastor Mark prayed, asking God for
His divine help and grace, and then came the announcement,

"You may kiss the bride."

Matt stepped forward, and Beth lowered her head, his lips greeting her forehead in
such awkward momentum, it felt as though they had bumped into each other by accident.
When Beth looked up, she saw a frown forming around Matt's mouth. His eyes refused
to meet hers, and he said nothing.

A gasp of fear lodged itself in Beth's throat. Was he experiencing second thoughts?
Matt, who had shown no doubt during their talk with Pastor Mark?

Whatever passed through Matt's mind right now, the deed was done.

They were married and Beth suddenly found herself Mrs. Matt Taylor, and no longer
Mrs. Luke Carter. The startling realization unsettled her, filled her with sharp
guilt until Dylan rested in her arms and the guilt turned to gratitude.

Luke, please don't blame me, she thought, as both witnesses signed the marriage certificate.
You still have my heart, Luke.

It's still yours.

Her poor dazed heart pounded so hard, it created a painful need for comfort. Clinging
to the newborn until she dared not tighten her hold for fear of hurting him, Beth
strengthened her resolve to remain practical.

Luke had her love, and Matt had her future. Somehow, she would make it work.

Legal Disclaimer: The characters and events depicted in these love stories are fictitious, and should not to be interpreted as medical or psychiatric advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.