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September.

The numbers were acting tricky. Super high pressure zone my head was. To top it all there was a shuffle in the team. The new team is driving me crazy. There was an embarrassing face-off (rather, e-mail-off) which clearly got things started on the wrong foot. Now we don’t talk. We only e-mail. And we forward them higher up to pull the bridge apart.

Impending shuffles were causing more distress. Suddenly the ears were getting extra sensitive when words like jobs/ vacancies/ interviews/ resumes floated around. We assume we are in a safe cocoon, and then life throws a stinky surprise ball at us, breaking the bubble which we believed would keep us safe.

A girl friend bribed two of us to watch a movie that no sane person would even agree to watch for free. We shamelessly hooted dialogues down, and ripped the first half of the movie to bits. We walked out, only to run into the hero of the movie putting up a brave front, accepting half-meant congratulations. Made us seem like mean bitches.

Suddenly found myself on this emotional roller coaster. Heard from people I had painfully shut out of my life, got some relationships validated, understood that some others would remain just the way they were, and would never be any more or less.

And to top it all, instead of the usual fortnightly travel, Monday dawned with the info that I would be travelling twice the following week. That was the final straw. It was enough to seal my belief that the world was going against me, and that nothing could ever be normal again.

So here I am, sour and sullen, on my way to the airport when a friend suddenly calls. Not only did he remember that my favourite sweet in the whole wide world was putherekulu, he actually got it from THE authentic makers in AP! That his swell surprise fell flat did dampen his mood, but that little act of kindness pushed bleak clouds away; everything has been only getting better since 🙂 Thanks Em.

Onam found me in Kerala, alone. I am a big fan of the sadya. I can polish off helping after helping of pineapple curry before you blink your eye. So I saved myself a lot of tummy space before settling down for the hotel’s much advertised lunch. Last year, one of my best friends had her first Onam after marriage, and she prepared the entire sadya from scratch. What I had at the hotel was a poor copy of Nithya’s amateur attempt. Adding a little love to your cooking sure works wonders.

I realized just how much I missed ‘good morning’ messages when somebody started sending them. It is pretty awful falling sick when you are alone at home, but it is amazing when you have people checking on you every now and then. Some revelation it was. I had decided staying single and alone was no big deal for me, in some way, one weekend alone at home proved me wrong. Some of us are cut out for it, rest of us aren’t. Which is okay 🙂

An outburst by the brother made me re-phrase my own expectations better. We think these young things know nothing, and then they decide to surprise us. Met friends I have known for over 10 years now. Aside from the shock of aging, the easy silences and the happy reminiscences make you believe that no matter what, everything will sort itself out. No sweat 🙂

The lat twenties are catching up on us. The very thought is depressing. But like a friend said yesterday, ‘idhu varkum aadnathellam aatam ille, inime than thodangum’ 😀 bring it on!