13 movie dialogue rules to write great dialogues (part 6)

And it's one of the main reasons for a screenplay to get tossed instead of read ?

So, if you wonder if YOU broke any of these 13 rules, or how you can write an original dialogue, check this series of articles.

It's practical and full of movie scripts and video examples.

Movie dialogue rule #11. Don't love me back

We asked our dialogue expert, David, aka Blablator, to lead us through the 13 movie dialogue rules.

If you missed the first five parts of this series, you may want to check them out first. Here is the link to Part 1, where it all started.

What a script!: What do you mean with this rule #11 "Don't love me back"?

Blablator: A movie dialogue is meant to fulfill specific functions. And to do that effectively.

It may however happen that some screenwriters go through the motions while writing movie dialogue.

The result? poor and predictable lines.

I have a quiz for you to illustrate what I mean. It's called: Guess what's next!

I'll start 5 sentences and your job is to guess how they end. Ready?

One: A character is in love with another one and says to him/her: "I love you" and the other character responds: "..."

Two. A female character shares with a friend that her partner / teenage son / boss has been mean to her. She says: "It hurts." And the friend responds very understandingly: "..."

Three. A man helps a woman. She says: "Well, thanks a lot, Mr...?" and he responds: "Frank Smith, but ... "

Four (submitted by Tom Jackson, from San Francisco, through our contact form). A woman kills her husband's mistress by shooting her a few times. She gets arrested by the police and says about her killing: "And I must admit ... "

Five (submitted by Nancy Tucker, from New York, through our contact form). A woman shoots at the man who raped her when she was young but the rapist gets saved by the hero who jumps at him and gets him on the ground. The shooter says: "Why, why did you save him? ". The hero responds using the trigger dialogue technique: "I was not saving him ..."

Think of what is expected - turn it around and see if it fits your character

Two examples.

1. The scene takes place in a confessional. We hear the usual sentence: "Forgive me father, for I have sinned."

Well, Cameron Crowe brought a twist to it in "Almost Famous".

POLEXIA APHRODISIA Forgive me father, for I may sin tonight.

2. We've all seen scenes when a character finally declares his love and says the expected "I can't live without you".

Ted Griffin wrote an interesting variation in "Rumour has it".

SARAH I didn't come here to tell you that I can't live without you. I can live without you. I just don't want to.

Invent new expressions and words - or ways to say them.

One of the most famous expressions comes from Star Wars, written by George Lucas: "May the Force be with you". In the Star Wars world the Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It's an energy field created by all living things. It binds the galaxy together.

The phrase got used in many episodes to wish luck or good will, especially to someone facing some imminent challenge.

Another famous example comes from Donnie Brasco (screenplay written by Paul Attanasio ), and the use of the expression "forget about it", pronounced "fuhgeddaboudit", combined with the "repetition" movie dialogue technique.

Last but not least, introduce a conflict.

For example, it's unlikely that the lines "I love you" get a response "I love you too" in a conflict situation. They might even generate the opposite effect and reveal any unspoken issue in the relationship.

This is a short extract from Good Will Hunting written by Matt Damon & Ben Affleck. Skylar and Will are in bed. She caresses his back gently and tells him she wants him to come with her to California where she will study.

Will gets upset as he's afraid that Skylar will dump him after a while and he will end up on his own over there. She then says to him:

SKYLAR (beat) Look, Will if you're not in love with me, you can say that.

What would be expected from Will is something along these lines: "C'mon Skylar, you know I love you." But that would be inconsistent with who he is at that moment of the screenplay. The closest he can come to, using the "avoidance" movie dialogue technique, is:

WILL I'm not sayin' I'm not in love with you.

A fight follows about Will's fear and ends up with these lines.

SKYLAR ... I just want to be with you. I love you. I love you!

Will does not say the expected "I love you too", which would release the tension. Instead ...

Will, full of self-loathing, raises his hand to strike her. WILL Don't bullshit me! Don't fuckin' bullshit me! SKYLAR (standing up to him) You know what I want to hear? I want to hear that you don't love me. If you tell me that, then I'll leave you alone. I won't ask any questions and I won't be in your life. A beat. Will looks Skylar dead in the eye. Lowers his hand. WILL I don't love you. He walks out.

Again, Will cannot say "I love you too". This would be inconsistent with who he is and his view of life. Check the movie dialogue rule about knowing your characters to find out more about it.