One Million Mustached Americans March on Washington

On Sunday, April 1 in Washington, D.C., the American Mustache Institute, H&R Block and the Flavor Savers led what the National Park Service confirmed was a good-looking crowd of 1 million Mustached Americans and interested third parties in the Million Mustache March for the proposed Stache Act legislation.

Beginning on the northeast front of the U.S. Capitol, the march proceeded down Constitution Avenue and then up Pennsylvania Avenue to the White House, with chants of "Don't filibuster our cookie dusters!", "Occupy the upper lip!", ""Support our staches, Shave our taxes!", and more.

Upon arrival at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., AMI delivered a very loud message to its resident, President Barack Obama, as AMI chairman Dr. Aaron Perlut read a proclamation that encased the photos of Americans who had 'stached their pictures at StacheAct.com in support of the revolutionary legislation.

"Whereas the Million Mustache March is the greatest gathering of Mustached Americans since Geraldo Rivera look-a-like contest was held in a firehouse near a police station during a motocross race in 1989," Dr. Perlut read. "... all men are created equal, but some are endowed by their creator with the ability to grow totally awesome lip sweaters."

Representatives from H&R Block, which supported the effort, were reminded of the greatness of America.

"We are proud to have supported such a noble, groundbreaking effort," said a bare-faced Scott Gulbransen of H&R Block, whose company will contribute to Millions From One for each person who either 'stached a photo at StacheAct.com or participated in the physical march. "This is one of those days where it makes you proud to be an American, even if you're only here with a green card."

Marchers came from all around the U.S. -- North Carolina, Tennessee, California, New York, Delaware (still a state), St. Louis and Chicago -- and there were reports that it may have been "the best looking crowd of people to ever collectively participate in any effort in the District of Columbia," according to U.S. Capitol Police.

According to AMI officials, lobbying for the Stache Act will continue moving forward, but now will shift to more closely aligning with Congressional leadership.

"We have a strategy in place and will follow it with great precision and good looks," said Dr. Dan Callahan, AMI director of research, fiscal policy and dance. "We are making America a better looking nation one mustache at a time, and the Stache Act can only further this effort."