Diehard "Harry Potter" fans would rather take a punch to the stomach from Hagrid than imagine the young wizard as part of Slytherin, the dorm for d-bags at Hogwarts. But in the first installment of "Harry Potter & the Rejected Scenes," The Fine Brothers envision this and other scenarios that must not be named.

We too have wondered why Harry was so quick to befriend Ron after a random train car ride or why Dumbledore didn't bum rush the school Joe Clark/"Lean On Me" style and throw out all the Slytherin students.

Using Potter dolls and some bad British accents, the brothers reimagine "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone" as a world where Harry and Malfoy are friends, Ron gets kicked to the curb and Harry, upon hearing about Voldemort, utters the words that will crush a million spirits: "Say no more! I'll join him!"