~ God is up to something

How Long Do We Fight?

When we love…and it feels like the other doesn’t show it back but they said that they did and that they wanted to navigate…how long do we fight for it? How we decide that it’s worth it? When we feel like they are walking all over us and will talk to anyone else but us…how long do we put up with it? How long do we make excuses?

We are all going through a fight…we all have an assignment. We all have a lot going on in life. But sometimes, you have people who literally just want to be there for you. And you don’t let them. You push them away and you hurt them. They are the ones who are truly expecting nothing in return.

But they wonder….do you want them to fight for you? Do you want to go through it all on your own? I know that you feel like sometimes you do have to go through it on your own but as I keep reminding you I am in your corner. I will and want to keep fighting for you.

I know that you have been hurting. You think you hide it but you don’t. You don’t talk to me anymore. I think it’s because I’m part of the stress. You used to talk to me. You told me how important communication was. Yet we can’t seem to connect right now. You can’t even look me in the eye.

I don’t even know if I can come up and talk to you at church. I don’t know that I can handle this. I am trying to. But I need you. Why do we push the ones away that we supposedly care the most for? It’s such an oxymoron and makes no sense to me.

Love makes us do crazy things. I find myself thinking and over thinking and just wanting to talk to you but you keep blowing me off. You don’t respond anymore but supposedly we are fine. You said you would tell me if something changed. Why do we say these things and not back up our actions?

I know that there is so much more to this story than just this part of it. The you and me part of it. I know that you are doing a lot of other things. But please make time. Please have a conversation. Please let me in. Please let me in…

So how long do we fight? We fight when we have nothing left…we give even when it hurts. Even when they have nothing to give. We don’t run away. If we know it’s right and it’s worth it and they are worth it…you don’t give up.

You go on long drives screaming and crying at the Lord. You make yourself hoarse. You show up at their house. You keep telling them how important and special they are. People need to be encouraged and lifted up.

I’m learning how to love how the Lord is asking me to love you. Sometimes the human side of me gets in the way and I overstep. But I know that his timing with the conversations and the interactions is perfect. I just wish I wasn’t ignored and made to feel like an insignificant person.

So keep fighting. If the Lord has laid someone one your heart. You keep fighting. Even when the battle gets tough and it seems like the devil is trying to destroy every bit of energy and strength that you have.

I will keep fighting for you. I will keep cheering for you. I will keep loving you. I will keep encouraging you. I will not give up. Please don’t ask me to give up. Please don’t push me away. Please let me listen to you. Please listen to me. Please let’s navigate. Please let’s try. Please let’s fight. I told you I was strapped in for this ride. As crazy as it was going to get. I am here. I’m not going anywhere.

I hope that other people don’t walk out on people who are hurting either. It’s not easy to love someone who can hardly love themselves but it’s important. They need the love the most. Love is a choice. It’s a daily choice. You have to determine if it’s worth it. For me it’s worth it. Even in this season, it is worth it. You are always worth it. I wish that you would see that you are worth it.

And I apologize that with the blog I have been going back in forth in what person I am writing in. I know that it’s not the correct way to write. But I felt like some of it needed to pointedly direct at the person. Thank you for baring with me as I write. Thank you for reading.