I set my goals high! Yes, I fell hard all the time but time and again have shown me that I landed stronger, to climb again! When you know you are going blind, you wake up everyday not to meet others' expectation, but to work hard for what you truly enjoy and believe in. This is my journey

Month

July 2016

While walking home yesterday, the idea crossed my mind again. Since I am running, why not raise fund for RP medical research? Although I stated here RP because is part of me, in reality, all rare diseases need your support especially in medical research. Is so rare, hardly is money going in and no money means that the diseases will “claim more lives”. I know is not easy in medical research, any research to be exact. My hope is a way for early detection, which gives a way of preparing patients how to handle the disease at a later stage and the detection method is “cheap” to reach to 3rd world countries. Most cases of RP with no family history, only get detected when they are almost blind. Even if they have the money, sample in medical research can be “rare”. My previous post where I donated my tissue sample and blood to Centre of Eye Research Australia and Australia Inherited Retinal Disease Register and DNA Bank.

I would be delighted if you donate for RP medical research but if you don’t, consider donating to any medical research for other rare diseases, something you can place in your heart and be happy about. Most importantly, no matter how small your contribution, there are things that purely depends on you, it always begins with you.

I made asparagus, leek and mushroom frittata but because I don’t have a broiler, when I transferred it to the baking glass, it ended up to be omelette. And last night I really felt like eating risotto. The left over leek, I fried it then added the risotto and chicken stock. Once the risotto was almost done, I stirred in the “omelette”. The taste is wonderful

Is a matter of perspective, I might think your journey is tough but you may think my journey is tough. Either way, all of us have our own journey we need to go through. Be mindful of our own journey, at the same time be mindful of others.

I have been lucky because I am able to join a Mindfulness workshop, organised by the uni, which some how is not being run again. I tried meditation before once, that time with a monk from Perth if not mistaken, back in my hometown. The meditation session was attended by those with experience in meditation. Partially because at that time, my mind wasn’t open enough. Honestly, at that time, I really thought, just sitting there! How can so many people just sit there whole day???!!! After the 5 day workshop, once a week, which was ran by a mindfulness consultant from Melbourne, I start to “feel” the effect of meditation to the body and most of all to the heart. Although mindfulness and meditation are related but once you experience it, only then you can tell the differences. I will not go around and tell you is good for you because I personally being told many times, sat once to try it out and it didn’t work. You really need a guided mindfulness approach to make it works. The consultant provided a guided meditation link which I am going to share with all of you: http://www.drrichardchambers.com/guided-mindfulness-practices/

No harm trying, especially the one on developing self compassion, when was the last time you stop and be compassionate to yourself?

My target now, recover from the cold, generate out the automated text fragments and the reward, I will be running at a location I have never been, for security purpose, I ll post it up only after the reward! Go ping2!

RP patients are mostly not blind yet. We look “normal”, no white cane, although some of us do have our faithful white cane especially at night. Our vision is just less.

When we tell you we have RP, we don’t want your sympathy, just your understanding.

We have dark blindness. When we said we can’t go if it is at night, no, is not because we don’t like you. We like you so much that we know your house and my house are really far, so I don’t want you to go through the hassle to bring me home late at night.

Please, do not leave the cabinet door open or anything on the floor. Our vision is tunnel vision. We are really sorry to the doggies or cats we accidentally step on. We love animals! I knocked on this sign in public lots of time. Yes, we developed ability to laugh at ourselves, but please don’t judge us as clumsy.

When we said we will not see screens, we are not being lazy to check email or work. Our eyes just can’t take it.

Yes, we run, we cook and do everything like normal people do but we might not realised we dropped something and mess the place. When we dropped something, very likely we can’t see it. We will be super grateful if you can help us find although is just “right” in front of us.

If possible, can the steps have different contrast? Dark grey steps makes it super hard for us because we lose our colours slowly. Black, dark blue, dark red, anything dark, the dark side is a black hole! We can never find anything! But sometimes even if the thing is same colour as the background, we too can’t distinguish.

When we say we can’t see, we really can’t see although sometimes we can. If you see me in public and wave but I don’t wave back, it’s not because I don’t like you; it’s because I probably can’t see you. We too are not being rude when we accidentally bump into stranger, we bump into pillars too.

Thank you very much for your understanding! Dearest RP friends, anymore to add? With this, I launch my #RPAwareness. RP friends, family and friends, feel free to share this.

I realised my codes cannot link back to the sentences I extracted earlier after alignment. Most of the time, I just code without proper planning #learnfromOwnMistake. So, now I am going to think of the data structure. Now learning how to use Map in Java and how to link to arrayList, maybe I don’t need this. I am slow but I will put effort to get there! Go ping2

I read somewhere, not sure how far is true, New generation of programmers, don’t really get the architecture or more of like be bothered about it. Java has evolved so much that we no longer worry about memory space, speed, etc. the fact remained. Get the basic right!!! I used arrayList before this. This is a good site to give you a basic comparison between set, list and hash map: http://www.java67.com/2013/01/difference-between-set-list-and-map-in-java.html?m=1

I realised I can do simple things to optimise my code. I work with sentences, where the order of the sentence is important. What I did was numbered the sentences and manipulate from there. Before this I used to compare sentences, grab sentence before, etc, too much memory and slow. Simple thing like number the sentence in integer, works wonder.

It was raining, late afternoon, off I went for groceries. I always see this guy, begging outside the shopping complex. I told myself, I will buy him hot chocolate on my way out. I basically rushed through the shop, fearing it will get dark soon and even forgotten to grab yogurt. When I came out and saw the guy, too late to go back, I quickly search for an apple and gave it to him. He rejected it. I told my friends about it and my friend said he is worried I am snow white’s step mother and if he bites the apple, he will faint and who is going to kiss him?

Although that was a joke, all of us want a happily ever after, openly or secretly. What we really need is a little love. Hopefully he will get it that life can sucks first class but there will always be someone that care. #havealittleFaith

When things are tough, I will think why not just give up since the future is bleak? I had been to a university in Malaysia and now in Melbourne, you can really count the “number” of people with special needs! I really hope is not because of the lack of opportunity but just need some special training. I am almost done with the first part of my computational model! System AND Goal! Visualise the happiness at the end of a hard journey! Go Ping2!!!

I am currently reading Daniel Kahneman’s Thinking: Fast and Slow. How your brain learns: what you see or experience is what your brain learns. I realised I have a “tunnel vision” where I learn only from my own experience, what about learning from others? This is my definition of inspiration from outside world. I will keep updating this page if I find any new blogs which can inspire me.

I have a tendency to push myself because I fear when I can’t see, I will have regrets. Is entirely wrong mindset. I found another blog which keeps me more grounded, I am only human: https://floweringink.wordpress.com

When it comes to my work, I hope I can create more software with Blind in Mind! https://www.ted.com/talks/chris_downey_design_with_the_blind_in_mind?language=en

I am not sure about being a mother because my case is a genetic problem, but we will never know the future http://www.blindintuition.com/

Another Blog I can’t find. She is not RP but lost her vision to another problem. Her then husband divorced her but she picked up again, learning simple things like pour hot water etc. went back to school and eventually re marry a blind musician. Her story let me feel there is a hope of happily ever after…