"The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself."--Mark Twainhttp://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=yAHCqnux2fkMy daughter forwarded this touching youtube story to me and I felt the need to share.The story is about a family who discover their one year old daughter is deaf. She has cochlear implants and with a great deal of work is able to speak and hear. Once she could speak, she proclaimed that she was a boy. Now, don't stop reading because you don't like this subject, remember the title is on acceptance.The parents were baffled and didn't know what to do. They thought it was a phase, but it didn't go away, and when their precious five year old child started to display feelings of shame, they knew they had to do something more. They did what every parent does when they don't know how to help their child, they sought the help of professionals and experts and researched everything they could. All those involved came to the same conclusion, the child was transgender. In their research they discovered a startling statistic, that 41% of transgender people have attempted suicide because of a lack of societal acceptance. These parents were not willing to risk losing their child to suicide.

The parents wholeheartedly embraced their child and his well-being. "Relative to the horrific things people have to endure with their children all over the world, this is nothing. We signed up as parents with no strings attached." And because these parents gave their child unconditional love and acceptance, he now thrives.I have to admit, I knew almost nothing about transgender people, so I had to do some research myself. According to Wikipedia Transgender is the state of one's gender identity (self-identification as woman, man, neither or both) or gender expression not matching one's assigned sex (identification by others as male, female or intersex based on physical/genetic sex). Transgender is independent of sexual orientation.

Opening our eyes and hearts to every human being and respecting them for who they are is what acceptance is all about. My favorite part of this story is what the parents say about having "signed up as parents with no strings attached." We often have expectations as parents and want our child to be or act a certain way. We must remember, they are individuals with their own beliefs, goals, and dreams. Understanding, helping, and teaching them how to achieve these things is the best way to parent."Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?"--Henry David ThoreauTake a few minutes to watch the story on youtube and practice acceptance each day. You never know when you will need acceptance from others.

"Winds in the east, mist coming in. Like somethin' is brewin' and bout to begin. Can't put me finger on what lies in store, but I fear what's to happen all happened before."--Bert, Mary Poppins

I watched the movie, Saving Mr. Banks the other night and was surprised by its tone. I was expecting a fun, uplifting movie about the author of Mary Poppins, engaged in playful banter with Walt Disney over the movie rights and the storyline of her book. There were some struggles of this sort, but it was so much more. The underlying message was how your past can influence your present in negative and destructive ways. I know the movie is only loosely based on facts, but the character, P.L. Travers, is haunted by her past. She needs to progress forward, but becomes almost paralyzed with fear. She doesn't want change, but without agreeing to some modification in herself and her work, the world as she knows it will crumble. The movie comes to an end with P.L. Travers accepting what she needs to do and letting go of the past. "Let it go and not have a life dictated by the past; have forgiveness. Restore order with imagination, instill hope again and again and again."--"Saving Mr. Banks""The instillation of hope offers a path back to a sense of possibility in our lives when almost all seemed lost. It’s about relief, restoration, and the chance, once more, to look forward – to wonder, when we’re in a barren place, what might be over the horizon (and to be given the strength and sustenance to keep putting one foot in front of the other in order to find out).Yet sometimes instilling hope is also about looking backward, too. Looking back to remember how you might have handled situations or problems like this one before. To recall which qualities came to your aid at that time, and to know that you can access those again. For the simple fact of having negotiated tough terrain before can instill the hope that you can do it once more."-- Gabrielle Gawne-Kelnarhttp://blogs.psychcentral.com/therapist-within/2010/07/finding-hope-the-instillation-of-hope-in-therapy-and-in-life/

Remember your past, use it to reflect on and learn from. Don't fear what's to happen, embrace change and move forward.

"In the truest sense, freedom cannot be bestowed; it must be achieved." – President Franklin D Roosevelt"Americans remember the men and women of its armed forces who have died in service every year on Memorial Day, always the last Monday in May. Heralding the beginning of summer in the U.S., Memorial Day is an official national holiday that has its roots in the memorials for fallen soldiers in after the American Civil War, still the country’s deadliest conflict."--Noah Rayman, Time

My father-in-law, Erik Larsen, fought in the Korean War. He was in the first MASH unit as a surgeon. The picture to the left shows him in the forefront, hours before he was blown up in his jeep. This battle was known as the "May Massacre," when Chinese Communist troops cut off and overran their unit on May 18, 1951. Erik, the only survivor in the jeep, was missing for three days before US troops found him. On this Memorial Day, enjoy time with your friends and family, but remember those who gave you this freedom.

Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced. – KierkegaardAccording to Wikipedia, Søren Kierkegaard is generally considered to have been the first existentialist philosopher. He proposed that each individual, not society or religion, is solely responsible for giving meaning to life and living it passionately and sincerely (authentically).You and only you are solely responsible for giving meaning to your life. There is a lot of truth in that statement. If we are always looking for something externally to give our lives meaning and not finding it, maybe we need to look inward. This week I edited a chapter in my manuscript about my son having an existential dilemma. He had been in a residential treatment facility for a year and didn't feel like he was making progress. What I love most about writing this memoir is going through all of my sons journals and medical notes, with his permission of course. He always wrote down what was going on in his head and it has given me incite into how his mind works. A parent couldn't ask for a better tool to help there child in need.

Excerpt: Year II-Chapter 9: Full CircleMatthew was having an existential dilemma. What he wanted would lead to eventual death, while those who cared for him wanted him alive. Matthew questioned the very foundations of his life; whether his life contained meaning, purpose, or value.

“Philosophizing the meaning of life. I discovered the meaning of my life. It is to enjoy this life as much as I can. Death will come naturally when it will be my time to go, yet I still contemplate suicide over and over. Death is so intriguing to me. I am curious as to what will happen next. Will the next life be better or worse? I’m not sure what I believe. I don’t want this to be the only life. Death is sort of a completion of life. I’m anxious about starting my ‘complete’ life. I want to make a decision. I would feel bad leaving my family and friends behind. Although my brain tells me they aren’t real, my heart can connect with them. I love them dearly, and I miss them. I want to choose life, but death keeps pulling me back under and suffocating me.”--Matthew’s journals

Although this passage from his journal is distressing, I have realized that the more my son wrote about his struggles, the better he handled them. After he wrote this and spent time mulling it over, he made progress and was able to move forward with his life.

I discovered that when my son talked about death with his counselor, and wrote about death it meant he was working through it, not just thinking about killing himself. It is always scary to hear and read that your child is thinking about dying, the time when every parent needs to be scared most is if their child isn't talking to anyone.

My daughter graduated from high school this weekend. On Friday evening she had a baccalaureate ceremony. A baccalaureate is a sermon to a graduating class. She attended a church based school, so this is a yearly event. I am not particularly religious, but I believe it is important to have a working knowledge of religion, and she benefited from this environment. The minister that performed the service was an eloquent speaker, who delivered a moving message. She told the graduating class to go out in the world and remember to always do two things each day. The first was to try something you are afraid of--step out of your comfort zone. We often go through life, sticking to a routine, and don't seek out new things because of fear of the unknown. "But the most common fear to really block us is simple uncertainty – our uncertainty about whether it will work out or not. After all if you were certain it was going to work out, what would stop you then? The most annoying and wonderful thing about life is that there are few certainties – the only certainty being death itself. Don’t let the fear of uncertainty (not knowing the outcome) get in YOUR way. Instead get OUT of your comfort zone and begin the life you truly want.Stretch yourself. Take a risk. Try something new. If you succeed – wonderful. And if you don’t, you’ll learn something else instead – the vital skill of handling failure (and believe me, if we all were OK with failure, life would be much more fulfilling and exciting!) Worth going for don’t you think?"--http://lifecoachonthego.com/life-begins-at-the-end-of-your-comfort-zone/The second thing the minister told the students to do each day was play. Spend some time daily doing something fun, energetic, and/or creative. "It’s so important to experience the carefree perspective of a child every now and then as a break from our serious, ‘rule driven’ adult mind. What’s more, it’s easy to do – you just need to think of ways you can tap back into your inner child and let it play without boundaries, so that creative expression is a regular part of your daily life.Have you noticed how kids can have FUN and play, without putting limits on their expression, or the output of their playtime? As adults, we often feel that our time spent making or creating something, has to be within the boundaries of what we deem will be ‘useful’, make money or have a reason for ‘being’. We put ‘rules’ around what should be ‘play’ time.Kids don’t think like that and they’re a whole lot happier for it. I’m not saying your whole LIFE should be like that, but certainly an hour or two a week (or, ideally, a day) will bring you a huge sense of freedom and satisfaction."--http://www.tameyourmindmonkey.com/bring-back-your-inner-child/

Go through life looking for opportunities to step out of your comfort zone and release your inner child. Relax your boundaries on "play" time and seek out ways to conquer fears you may have, whether they are public speaking, trying a new activity, or taking a leadership role. You can't go wrong if you are moving forward. And if you fall down and scrape your knee, get back up, dust yourself off, and try something else. After all, what is childhood without a few skinned knees?

Everyone has a mother. She may be your best friend, your worst enemy, or anywhere in between. Despite our feelings, either good or bad, for our mother, she gave us life, and for that we should be grateful. "According to Jungian approach of psychology, some highly developed elements of the collective unconscious are called 'archetypes.'In the unconsciousof the male, this archetype finds expression as a feminine inner personality: anima." --WikipediaTherefore, the mother is a figure of immense primordial power for men. She is an expression of their inner female that is often repressed. That is why boys generally have a closer relationship with their mothers than their fathers. This isn't always the case of course, but it is often accurate. Carl Jung defines the qualities of the mother archetype as, "Maternal solitude and sympathy; the magic authority of the female; the wisdom and spiritual exaltation that transcend reason; any helpful instinct or impulse; all that is benign, all that cherishes and sustains, that fosters growth and fertility. The place of magic transformation and rebirth. . .are presided over by the mother."This last sentence is a powerful one, "The place of magic transformation and rebirth. . .are presided over by the mother."Psychology Today states, "Mothers are the emotional backbones of the family. They provide the holding place for everyone’s feelings and do their best to keep us from being hurt."

My son and I, Spring 1995

Everyone's mother is different, and from those differences we can find strength in ourselves."The real religion of the world comes from women much more than from men — from mothers most of all, who carry the key of our souls in their bosoms." ~Oliver Wendell HolmesSo today, and everyday, honor your mother and be grateful for the life she has given you.

"For 65 years, Mental Health America and our affiliates across the country have led the observance of May is Mental Health Month by reaching millions of people through the media, local events and screenings. The 2014 May is Mental Health Month theme is “Mind Your Health.” Our goals are to build public recognition about the importance of mental health to overall health and wellness; inform people of the ways that the mind and body interact with each other; and provide tips and tools for taking positive actions to protect mental health and promote whole health."--Mental Health America http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/may

Mental health is extremely important to your overall physical health. This is a subject that is very close to my heart, but it can be immensely difficult to deal with. Don't do it alone, get help from family, friends, and organizations like the one above. May is a great month to do something for your mental health or another's. Remember, those who are suffering with mental illness may not tell you what is going on with them. When my son was going through an intense depression that resulted in a loss of reality, this is what happened:Keeping true to Matthew’s ability to bury his emotions and thoughts deep inside, he was consumed with stress, anxiety, unsafe thoughts, and acute feelings of detachment, yet he said, “I’m fine.” He experienced an intense emotional overload that threatened to overwhelm him, and we didn’t even know. “Death is the only thing I think about nowadays. Daily frustrations and then there is suicide. Happiness and then there is suicide. Suicide, suicide, suicide.”--Matthew’s journals

My son was feeling all of the emotions I wrote in the paragraph above, but he said, "I'm fine." He didn't want to burden me or he was worried about rejection or judgment. Now if he tells me he is fine, I say, "Really? Tell me more about how you are feeling." And he does, good or bad. It took a long time to connect with him and know how to talk to him about how he was feeling, but it was worth it in the end.