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Funny satire stories about punishment

MUSKOGEE, Oklahoma (ABSNN) - When Oklahoma District Judge Mike Norman sentenced a teenaged youth who caused his friend's death in a car crash to church for ten years, he likely thought the boy would choose an evangelical church like the Nazarenes or...

A feminist caught on camera driving on a pavement to avoid a school bus unloading small, defenseless children will have to stand at a crossroads wearing a sign describing herself as an idiot.
Her car had 100 stickers with misandrist statements ag...

A desperate looking female named Heather Matarazzo has been jailed for 40 years for craving a younger man she victimized.
Matarazzo also known as "The alley cat cougar", because she stocked young men in alleys as they walked home from college, was...

BRUSSELS - Hate Brussels sprouts?
You'll really hate Brussels punishment for lack of budgetary discipline.
That's right.
According to our mole, a janitor at the conference, leaders of the European Central Bank have come up with the ultimate punishment for governments that do not pay back their loans.
Germany was pushing for firing squad.
The French were pushing the guilloti...

Although Manchester City claim that they are in no way worried by Carlos Tevez's claim of unfair treatment over his alleged unwillingness to play against Bayern Munich, it would appear in the latest move that this is not the case.
"We value Carlos...

David Cameron spoke out this week in favour of tougher sentences for smaller crimes, in light of criticism on the handling of looters caught up in riots in the UK.
In an exclusive interview, Cameron was quoted as saying "Well, it is about time th...

KAMPALA, Uganda -- The National Assembly of Uganda entered a recess this week, ending one of the most productive legislative sessions in the country's history. The 375-member unicameral parliament enacted widespread reforms to the country's exhausti...

A recent change in European law regarding the circumstances by which a person can be committed to a mental institution by the state has meant that in future anyone found guilty of smoking a cigarette in a designated public 'no smoking' area could in...

The unexpected success of the Stocks , that quaint, almost primitive medieval instrument of ritual degradation that was erected recently in Newcastle in an experimental trial (now there's a pun, if you like one!) following intense pressure on HM Gove...

Dr. Phil McGraw, known for his sometimes unorthodox approach to human interactions, has just come out with a new pamphlet that he is touting as a breakthrough in dealing with what he calls the "spoiled brat syndrome."
The pamphlet is entitled "Sl...

Troubled Dundee F.C. have been hit by more sanctions in their struggle to stay afloat.
The First Division club , which went into administration in October 2010 for the second time in 8 years, was given a 25 point penalty by the Scottish Football L...

In a move that will please Saudi Arabia's justice system, the Coventry woman who threw a cat into a wheelie bin, will herself be thrown into a wheelie bin for fifteen hours.
"It is a victory for common sense!" Said the cat's owner.
Saudi Arab...

It seems Charlie Sheen has reached an agreement with authorities in Colorado over domestic violence allegations involving his wife, though either party would disclose details.
Sheen has reportedly thrown himself at the mercy of the court over assa...

A girl in Saudi Arabia will receive over 36 lashes for an attempted murder on her female teacher. The religious courts also felt it was necessary to place the girl two months in prison.
The story took place in a female only school. The female teac...

VISTA, CA - As a punishment for her iniquities, reigning Miss California has been assigned to submit the following in writing:
I hate those who cling to worthless idols; as for me, I trust in the Lord.
Psalm 31:6
I hate those who cling to worthless idols; as for me, I trust in the Lord.
Psalm 31:6
I hate those who cling to worthless idols; as for me, I trust in the Lord.
Psalm 31:6...

A mall in Christchurch, New Zealand is attempting to rid themselves of drunken and drugged kids causing them problems by playing the music of Barry Manilow.
The New Zealand city hopes that putting the American crooner's smooth and gentle tones int...

I’ve come to realize one great injustice in this world—and that is the punishment, nay, the TORTURE of being made to wait at a stoplight more than once. How many times have you waited at a red light, watch it turn green, and then wait in agony as the losers in front of you slowly creep toward the intersection? Then, just when you believe that there could be some hope for you to make it through, th...

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John Boehner Admits: I Am a Woman!

John Boehner today admitted what many have suspected for years, he has a vagina. "I have wanted to bring out the truth for so long said Joan through his tears, now I can cry and nave mascara run!

Grumpy Trumpy

Grumpy Trumpy made quite a squall,Grumpy Trumpy had a great fall.All of Ailes' minions and all of Ailes' punditsCouldn't put his Party together again.

Pirates' Cruise Ship Snack Attack

A motley crew of swashbuckling pirates commandeered a luxury cruise ship off the coast of Somalia and demanded 10 million dollars until the buccaneers dined in the cafeteria and died of food poisoning

Snippets on Sale Again

Okay our last sale was so popular we ran clean out of snippets. So now were going to offer a buy-back program. 100 snippets for the price of 1, that's our final offer. Don't be shy watch them fly!

Chris Christi Licks Sickness

As a result of an intensive three-year psychological reconditioning program under the supervision of Rick Santorum and Mike Huckabee, Chris Christi is almost completely cured of his homosexual disease

Self Righteous Wing Extremism

From the summit of Mt. Appalachia with arms raised skyward in a flagrant display of pompous pride and pretentiousness, self-ordained Pope Rick Santorum decreed that he and only he is holier than thou.

US Victim of OPEC Coup

In a sneakily sinister scheme the Oil Pumping Evil Countries (OPEC) dropped the price of crude oil to two cents per barrel, then conquered the US when consumers choked to death from car exhaust fumes.

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