Section eight

Sheen. Brando. Air cavalry raids to the tune of Ride of the Valkyries. Apocalypse Now is the benchmark by which all wigged-out soldier movies are measured. Martin Sheen gives a nicely deranged performance as a captain sent in to "terminate with extreme prejudice" the renegade Colonel Kurtz (Marlon Brando). In the end, it's a question who is more nuts: Sheen, who mutters darkly about "every minute I spend in this room, the weaker I get" and has no problem shooting wounded civilians; the acid-dropping, dope-smoking soldiers on his PT boat; or the obese Brando, whose lair is tastefully decorated with the bodies of his enemies. I love the smell of napalm in the cinema.

PLATOON (1986)

On a philosophical level, Platoon explores the battle of good versus evil. On a more practical level, it explores whether the biggest arsehole is the one left standing in the end. A young recruit (Charlie Sheen) is forced to choose sides between two charismatic sergeants: the "crusader" Elias (Willem Dafoe) and the plain sadistic Barnes (Tom Berenger). When Barnes orders the torching of a village and starts shooting its inhabitants, it's on for young and old and psychotic.

FULL METAL JACKET (1987)

Vincent D'Onofrio might today be the star of Law & Order: Criminal Intent, but once upon a time he was a fat, blubbery private named Gomer Pyle. His bete noire is Sergeant Hartman (R. Lee Ermey), a sadistic drill sergeant who systematically destroys his self-esteem. When the rifle-toting Pyle finally snaps, you can almost hear it.

SAVING PRIVATE RYAN (1998)

Spielberg's masterpiece is best known for its scorching opening scenes, but it also explores the darker side of World War II. American soldiers shoot surrendered German soldiers, loot their bodies and, with the aid of flamethrowers, torch them in bunkers to cries of "let 'em burn". Nasty.

THE DEER HUNTER (1978)

Robert De Niro plays a Vietnam vet who just wants to go deer hunting, but the ghosts of war refuse to let him go. In particular, he's haunted by the memory of having to play Russian roulette with other American POWs in Vietnam. Fortunately, he won. Christopher Walken isn't so lucky.

THREE KINGS (1999)

Aided by an "Iraqi arse map", four soldiers led by George Clooney steal a multibillion-dollar stockpile of gold. They don't keep it, though.