Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Among our guilty, lowbrow pleasures--pork rinds, the movie Bring It On--we always like to save room for those occasions when Bravo blogger cum VP Raggaydy Andy enters one of his dissociative fugue states and starts talking to himself.

Fortunately for him, he is doing his muttering in Aspen, Colorado, while the Top Chef finale films, rather than wandering through the East Village shaking his fist.

(How do we know he's in Aspen? Call it an educated guess. Andy--well, one of the Andies (Andes?)--says it is 2:55 a.m., and he is "on the set of a hit Bravo reality show" and, as we mentioned yesterday, Top Chef is filming in Aspen right now. Besides, as Scooter Libby so famously wrote, Aspen is turning, and turning in clusters, because its roots are connected.)

The nice thing about these dissociative fugues of Andy's is that his filters are even less effective than usual. And so, we get to watch him play with himself in a game of word association. The most revealing (and not just in terms of being placed right next to each other):

HUNG: hung? LISA RINNA: sphincter

Well, maybe we're leaping to conclusions. After all, as Dr. Freud must have said, "Sometimes a dick next to a sphincter is just that." (We were going to go for a cheap Cheney-Bush joke, but we're feeling cheap enough this morning as it is.)

Andy also reveals that tonight's episode of Top Chef will feature tears (well, duh; after all, Casey Thompson's still in this, but maybe she'll be crying for herself tonight), and we "find out who is Dale's best galpal in the house" (ah, so maybe Casey will be crying because she's been out-faghagged; possum, we warned you about those highlights). In a fight between Casey Thompson and Sara Nguyen, though, our money's on Casey. That pseudo-Pucci scarf she's always wearing? We're convinced it's a garrote. And that smile? It's pure Kathleen Turner in Serial Mom. In other words, we can't wait.