Monday, November 9, 2015

A writer friend asked me if my memoir
was about how motherhood influenced me as a college student or was it how
college influenced me as a mother. While
I realize that this is just one aspect of the memoir, it is a good question for
it helps to frame the memoir.

I think the memoir is more about how
motherhood influenced me as a college student.
Yet the reverse can also be true.

Let’s take the first part of the
equation. How did motherhood influence
me as a college student?

Parenthood is a lifetime career. It’s not something we stop doing once the
children become adults—even if we wanted to.
At the time I started college, I was the primary care-giver to children
in grades 2nd through 8th. It
was my job to help these children become successful in their education and any life
obstacles they might encounter. This was
no easy task with my oldest daughter having learning and social problems. I needed to be there for them.

I took the parenting job
seriously, maybe even obsessively. I
wasn’t free to think only of my own trials in education. I had to be home for them in the
beginning. This is what made attending
college so difficult in the early years of my ten-year journey. After devoting my life to my children, I
needed to allow time for college work.

Yet motherhood affected my college
journey in other ways, too. Because I
was older, because I was a mother, sometimes I saw the wants and needs of my
fellow students at the community college.
I would ask their questions in math class, study with them, help them with
their essays. My husband said that I had
gained more children going to college, and perhaps he was correct. I didn’t mind. These young students helped me with technical
difficulties and math or science concepts I hadn’t experienced recently in the
basic skills classes I needed to supposedly bring me up to college entry. My children were too young; hadn’t had this
upper level education.

And because I was a more mature
student, running her own home and family, I brought a commitment to my college
education that a few of the younger students may have lacked at the community
college level. My fellow students
permitted me to be the group leader in projects.

Now because I was a mother, I
brought home my newfound knowledge to my children, not that they always
appreciated it, of course. I took the
notion of parents being the first teachers of their children seriously—again
obsessively. It was my job to be sure
the children could survive in today’s world.
I also wanted them to be properly prepared for college as I was
not. I demonstrated time and again what
professors were looking for in essays, what was necessary to study to do well
on a college exam.

Wow!
When I look back on all this I can see why my family is glad that I
graduated. Hopefully the children will
see my mothering skills as a good thing in their lives. Only time will tell.

What do you think? Did I answer my friend’s question
completely? Do you have any questions
for me about my journey as a mother of five attending college?