It’s personal

‘Don’t take it personally.’ It’s a phrase
that screams danger; here comes a criticism, here comes a judgment. Sometimes
it’s hard not to take it personally. You comment on my carpet? Meh. It was
there when I moved in. You comment on my family? Ouch. That cuts deeper.

Some things it’s hard not to take
personally. The personal nature of God’s teaching about men and women is one
aspect that often makes it hard to digest. It’s not externals but my identity,
who am I? This Word impacts my perception of who I am, and who I think I am
impacts how I hear this Word. Men and women alike. The last part of Dr Claire
Smith’s book captures highs and lows with a personal touch and personal impact.

Claire gives a thoughtful and pastoral
response to the great and inexcusable distortion of relationships where one
party harms the other. ‘There is no biblical justification for domestic abuse’
(Smith, 186). Amen, sister. It has no place in God’s design for relationships
of men and women. Sadly, if you live in our broken world this kind of issue is
likely to cross your path in some way. Abused, abuser or concerned person, I
pray that this chapter may bring help, grace and truth into the situation.

The last text Claire brings to light is
Proverbs 31; the proverbial A to Z of the ideal woman. Claire notes about this
portrait, ‘men love it and women don’t’ (Smith, 195). She’s right. It’s hard
not to feel self-conscious when standing next to a stunningly beautiful
specimen. Knowing that Proverbs 31 is the air-brushed ideal with all the
wrinkles of life removed perhaps helps explain the feeling. It doesn’t mention
what this woman said when she stubbed her toe getting up in a sleep deprived
state to the latest crying child at 2am one night. It’s not trying to say
everything. The beauty of Claire’s treatment is that she reminds me not to
write this woman off. She’s still got plenty to teach me, even as an ideal. The
Proverbs 31 woman is, under everything, a sister in faith. Here’s a woman who
fears God. Here’s an industrious, strong, wise, thoughtful, loved and loving
woman. Here’s a sister living out her faith. Perhaps, rather than
self-consciously skipping the page I need to pause, pray, and consider God’s
Word in Proverbs 31 more deeply.

The final section of Claire’s book is also
worth pausing over. The power of God’s Word is evident throughout Claire’s
work. Here is testimony to God’s power in her own life. The tug-of-war for and
against biblical roles for men and women has played out over decades in
Claire’s life. I come away feeling thankful that Claire would share so much of
herself and her own journey with me. This path has not all been smooth sailing.
Yet there has also been much joy along the way.

I can also bear witness. God’s Word
personally impacts me as a woman in Christ, sister, daughter, church member,
and full-time member of a ministry team. As for Claire, it has been those with
deeply held complementarian convictions who have most encouraged, supported and
cherished me as a sister in Christ. I have never been at a loss for
opportunities to serve Jesus and his people. I work alongside two godly
faithful men and their wives. These blokes actively seek to protect and nurture
and lay down their lives for their families. These women respect their husbands
and help them stand firm and serve in Christ. Their ministries together have
highs and lows, as all relationships do. Still they teach me that God knows
what he’s talking about. Likewise in our church life, God has blessed us with
many godly men and women who serve in a wide variety of ways. There are a
particular bunch of blokes, our elders and bible study leaders, who take a
fatherly role in our congregation. They teach us, they lead us, they take care
of us. As they work in unity, rather than competition, with the women in our
midst they’re a great blessing. The women serve Christ in so many, many ways.
None of this service is aimed at taking over from the men. I have great respect
for our church leaders. I’m thankful for them. We’re on the same team and
working for the one Lord.

Of course, it’s never as smooth and ideal as
all that all the time. But, for me, working within this pattern has freed me
from the ‘battle of the sexes’ and allowed me to get on with serving Jesus. I
teach kids about Jesus each week. I regularly teach the kids in church, as
their parents look on. In our kids church we learn from the same part of God’s
Word as the grown ups week by week. I feel like things are going well when I
can support the preacher by teaching the children the same as he’s teaching
their parents. I’m not trying to steal the spotlight or get in first or say it
my way instead of his. I’m trying to assist God’s work in His family. Perhaps
as Dad turns around in the car on the way home and asks what the family learned
this morning the kids church lesson can tie in with the preacher’s message. As
mum gets another, slightly scrunched up piece of paper with coloured bits and
stickers, perhaps she can see how the kids church idea fits in with what she
heard from the pulpit and start deciphering it all. Whole families together are
hearing God speak. The strength and graciousness of godly men in our church
frees me to serve rather than stifling me.

I’m still convinced that God’s design for
men and women includes different roles within the one glorious salvation. All
are needed to bring in the harvest. The fields are still white. I pray that
many men and women might read Claire’s book and live more and more for Jesus.