Trembling, Max grabbed his Build-A-Bear monkey he named Bananaz (with a Z) and clutched his hand-woven Jewish yamaka atop his head. Slowly, he reached out his hand out and picked up his receiver.

"Ok," bsh1 affirmed, "Axolotl King1 do you know the situation?"

"Uh...no. I"m afraid I don"t." Max replied nervously.

"Ok, this is what has happened..."

Suddenly a loud crash was heard from the other end of the line.

"Big Bish! Are you ok! Big Bish!" Max yelled helplessly into the receiver. Screams ensued from Zaradi"s end of the line. The atmosphere had gotten too intense for Max, so he grabbed Bananaz and his yamaka and made his way to The Safe Room. Scrambling to his bedroom, he crawled under his bed.

It was a tight fit, but he managed to squeeze under. Something brushed up against his leg, it was furry...could it be! No way!

It was Max"s pet hamster when he was a young boy, his name was Tongueston. One day, he had run away, and left Max devastated. It had taken him years to get over his loss, and he had always had the sneaking suspicion that Tongueston still roamed the house.

"Tongueston! How have you been?" Max asked his old-friend.

"Just fine! I"ve been surviving on that Goldfish that you dropped down the side of your bed for 10 years! It hasn"t been the best, but I"ve made it work!" Tongueston replied eagerly.

Suddenly there was a crash as the front door exploded into a million pieces. From under the bed, Max could spot a dozen sets of black boots enter his living room.

"Don"t worry Max! I"ll fend them off! Run!" Tongueston yelled, and with that, he jumped into the fray of black boots.

"NOOOOOOOOOO! Tongueston, NOOOO!" Airmax screamed to his friend.

Lifting the secret latch, he started to climb down the ladder into the dark depths of the escape tunnel, he reached to close the secret hatch shut. Max took the Multi-Use Pen from his front pocket and turned on the eco-friendly flashlight. His slippers made a rasping sound of wood on soundpaper as Max reached the dry and cemented floor of his escape room. He then shuffled over to the inconspicuous rug in the middle of the room and pulled out his Extra-Secret Escape Hatch and began his descent again.

Reaching the bottom of the next chamber, he looked around. The room was a dark crimson, the kind of room that you would imagine to be Sherlock Holme"s living room. He turned to his inconspicuous book shelf and pulled on the book, "Paleo Diet Cook Book". The book-shelf silently swiveled out from the wall, revealing another chamber. Stacks of dry-freezed food lined the walls, enough to last 10 years, all of it thanks to Juggle"s over-preparation for the apocalypse level events that they dealt with every day.

Shoving the crates of food aside he uncovered another secret hatch. Uncovering the lid, he slid down the firemen"s pole into The Safe Room.

Max sniffed the sweet smell of Pine Tree Air-Freshener he had lined the ceiling with years before. He knew each knick and cranny of the place, every crack in the cement, the slickness of the floor, the pattern on the ceiling. He had spent many a nights cuddled up with his various stuffed animals in the corner of this room, shuddering in fear of the various bugs he found around the house.

One night he had been so scared of an earwig he had found on the kitchen table that he had spent an entire month in the Safe Room, too afraid to come out. Until his mother had to come kill the cockroach for him. He is seeing a psychiatrist to this day.

But the room was different this time, especially the...smell.

Startled Max spotted YYW in the corner of the room, doing pull-ups on a bar sticking out from the wall. YYW, startled as well, acted like he hadn"t taken notice of Max. He immediately resumed his pull-ups,

"251...252...253""

"Uhhh, hello? What the hell are you doing here?" Max asked the intruder, bewildered at the anomaly.

"You know...out for the casual workout." YYW, replied, unnecessarily taking his shirt off and inconspicuously flexing his abs. He then strolled by Max, for no particular reason other than to show off the scent of his Old Spice Fiji Shampoo.

Frightened at the fact that Max didn"t seem to be jealous of his muscles or his shampoo, YYW did what he always does when he"s feeling insecure: rant about an obscure topic.

"You know the average gestation period for grasshoppers is actually quite long."

YYW then went on to explain the impact this will have on Saharan ecosystems and Pakistanian politics.

Max waited hopelessly for YYW to take a breath so that he could interject and say something, anything, but he should have known better: YYW never takes a breath.

He continued to outline the effect on Scandinavian 8 year old"s ability to properly digest Fruit Roll-Ups, as well as how it would speed up the loading time of iOS devices, and thus cause a political revolution in Australia.

Many days and nights had passed as Max waited patiently for YYW to come to a conclusion, or for his points to have any purpose.

Finally, when YYW had felt his self-confidence return to his pecs, he stopped talking.

The room was strangely quiet, and rightly so, for silence had not met them in weeks.

"Do you need a glass of water or something?" Max asked, realizing YYW must be parched from that amount of ranting.

"No, I"m fine," YYW replied, "my body is used to it by now. Have you heard about what has happened to DDO yet?"

"No, I haven"t. Bsh1 was about to tell me, but he was cut off by an attack. I hope he"s alright." Max replied.

"Well then we have to do something!" YYW yelled courageously. Feeling the rage run through his highly perfumed body.

Max shrunk up against the wall in fear of doing something, "No, I think I"m going to stay here with Bananaz until everything is ok." Max replied.

Enraged, YYW stormed out of the Safe Room, and into the world. Immediately he heard a high-pitched scream"