Oh, Bon. People did quite love your latest album, didn’t they? Sure it might have been a tad over textural (that absolutely makes sense, believe me) and occasionally strained to reach the unbearably emotional peaks your début hit with assured ease, but it was still good. But wait, what’s this song at the end, it sounds like.. Why, it’s.. It’s the sound of Justin Vernon making madly passionate love to the the rotting, foul corpse of the 1980’s. Good lord this is terrible. Why would you do that Justin? WHY? The only way you could make up for it would be to, oh I don’t know, record a solo piano version of it in session at NPR and then promise never to write a song which sounded like it was created for the sole purpose of sound-tracking people running in slow motion over a finishing line.

Listen to the revamped, prettier version of Beth/Rest above, courtesy of myself (YOU’RE WELCOME)