Tag: advice

How do I avoid burning out?

you have to solve it. first, understanding. being burned out is often ascribed to working too hard. that’s incomplete. if you have a good why you can do the what. being burned out has to do with grinding for the wrong reward, in the wrong way, with the wrong attitude. so i was working hard basically because of all the pressure i was feeling from the parents to do everything, and the physical and emotional attacks. don’t do that.

What should I do?

what you need to do is find the things that you do that renew you. something that in the doing, renews. you grind for the right reason, the right goal. so i have spent time figuring out what that is for me. had to figure out eating, sleeping, exercising first. and i’m still not perfect, but i’ve figured it out to a point where i can see other things. when you are ready to solve the problem in front of you, the teacher will present him or herself. so the other thing i learned is how to make friends. another thing i learned is how to seek truth, instead of seeking to win. you lose, if you win an argument and you miss out on knowledge that you need. and now i am seeing that i can have anything i want in the world. if i just want one thing. that’s the question you should ask yourself, i’ve buried it down here. if you could have anything in the world, but it could only be one thing, what would it be? money is a weird answer because it is always money so you can do something. even business people don’t just want money, they want the process of making a deal and getting an edge. well that’s what they want, if they’re in it for the long haul.

What about working for money?

yes, you need to do that. you need to pay rent, you need ot provide for yourself. this line of questioning is not to find a job that will pay you right now, though it probably will, it is so that you know where to go. well, so that you know the wya to go. so that you don’t spend fifteen years, decades, working on a career, and realize that it was the wrong thing. it was not what you wanted. if you have a plan, that’s good. maybe it makes sense, in your plan, to work hard for fifteen years, amass wealth, and retire. i just want there to be some direction to things, a plan. an attitude, a plan, and never stop.

Would it be the worst to be rich and not happy? If i don’t know what i want, should i just try to be rich?

maybe. it’s up to you. whether you are rich or poor, up or down, you have something that when you do it, you feel a particular, even peculiar kind of good. i call that joy. it is not adrenaline only, it is not only winning. it is setting the rules for yourself. there is a saying first you play the game, learn the rules of the game, then you figure out how to win the game, then you set the rules for the game. reflecting on the happiest people i know, it seems like they have carved out a slice of life that they want. they’ve defined it. it meets their needs. that’s setting the rules for yourself, that’s defining a win for yourself. that’s how you see people who are poor and making shitty art and they are so happy. well just because you find something you are happy doing, doesn’t mean you have to be shitty at it. i had set up a false dichotomy of being wealthy and doing what you love, and then there’s a weird group that RANDOMLY does both, or they do both with insane costs. no, if you execute over time, and have a plan, and never stop, then you will win. and you’ll be ENJOYING it while you are doing it. that’s winning. it is sustainable. i’ve been through lots of things that i thought were ‘the thing.’ but ‘the thing’ has been writing, and now adventure writing, is what is making it take shape. because i met someone that has done it. in fact, i think those people are lazy, or not grinding. they’re not hungry. you will continue to do it because it is good, you have to be smart. the fact that you’re reading this post means you’re looking for information, tactics, and want to win. so you will do that, if even more, once you find the thing.

i was once talking to my uncle about my search for becoming a doctor. i wanted to be a doctor, but i kept asking what it was like. well if you are trying to convince yourself to do something, then maybe you don’t really want to do it. you should consider the possibility that you don’t want to do it. i had all the volunteer experience, and in order to avoid stoking the ego, i’ll leave it out, but if i were honest, i would have said being a doctor seems like something everyone wants me to do, everyone says is a good thing, but the doctors say don’t do it if you don’t want, i don’t know what i want, but i want to do something, because i can’t figure out what i want, i know the doctor thing doesn’t excite me. so will i regret everything by being a doctor? i don’t know, i set out for the path of following the deep longings within me. seek truth. i don’t know, maybe i could have found it being a doctor, maybe i’d be like 10 years behind by now, maybe i would be so confused and consumed i’d have forgotten about it until i was forty. i don’t know. maybe i still would have taken until i was thirty to figure it out, and i would have been better off having financial resources to put into things. maybe i would have figured it out really fast, even earlier, and been able to build a life out of it. maybe i would have really burned out and destroyed my marriage relationship. i didn’t want that. it’s hard to know, i know where i am now, i am happy because i know the life i will have. and the life i see makes me happy. that’s really all anyone wants. hope.