Category Archives: For fun

A few days ago I was speaking with one of my intellectual, educated, well established friends about my current station in life. We talked, at length, about where I hoped to go, the things I thought that by now, I would’ve achieved, & the challenges and difficulties it seems I’ve been forced to endure…. Patiently, my friend, took the time to Encourage, Interject practical advise, and above all else, LISTENED!

Since that day, I’ve gained the ability to lose the ‘tunnel vision’ of darkness that has plagued me for far too much time now, and see things from completely new perspectives.

Isn’t it amazing how a few expressed & spoken words can bring forth such a difference in one’s entire outlook? One never truly realizes, how deeply their words or actions can affect another. I guess it’s why the 10 commandments can be summed up, ultimately, into 2 parts… the first being… “Honor God” & The second being “Treat Other’s in the ways in which you’d like to be treated.” In doing these two things, I can bear honest witness and say that “Miracles do happen, each and every day!” It is within us as individuals, to open our minds and our hearts, in order to bear witness.

My mother Always says that “GOD provides proof to the truth!”
And in that regard with the things I’ve been both told and shown I am inclined to agree!Today, for example, I came across a quote by ‘George Eliot’ that literally grabbed my attention as though it was written specifically for me. The words read this —–> “IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO BE WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN!” Upon reading this, I knew that in order to obtain the things that I ultimately want, I must start RIGHT NOW with being who it is I choose to be! It is since I experienced this revelation, that the feelings of inadequacy, the tunnel of darkness & the feeling of being completely out- of- control, has given way… I am ready to do what I must!

Yesterday, and the decisions made then, are now a thing of the past, the only thing one can do is move on from those moments and live in today (lol, as if we really have a choice to do it any other way, anyway).

Sometimes we view life as though it is a courtroom, wanting evidence and proof, to co-sign our decisions to do the things we choose. Other times we just move ahead making rash judgement’s, not necessarily caring about how we affect others, or how later, we affect ourselves,

Now, it is not my place to critique or how ‘you’ live, as for me, however, I think I’ll try a new approach, rather than to keep on doing what I’ve already done and failed to achieve I’m going to try out the alternate and see where that leads.

In conclusion, I’ll leave with this… “What is done today, defines who one currently is! Tomorrow may come, but, for some, it may not. Therefore, I believe it wise to choose, in this very moment to be who you want, and it’s almost miraculously occurs that who you want to be, becomes exactly who you are! ~ Thank you George Eliot, for bringing that all to light.

Isn’t it funny how we as individuals,can come up with prejudices about whole groups of people or things in which we ‘unknowingly’ don’t understand?

As it was just yesterday, that I was sitting here, on the PC as I am doing now, laughing my ass off with tears rolling down my eyes at the post that was being written about my very good friend (we’ll call him “Aluta”), who I’ll mention, is from Ghana, West Africa, one of the main ports in which African slaves were kidnapped from and brought here to the America’s. The people that live there now could very likely be distant relatives to the African Americans that I am descended from, associate with, and live among.

You see, “Aluta” and I belong to a “Special Interest Group” and they actually thought that he might be a homosexual!!! Not saying anything against the LGBT Community but plainly and specifically speaking against the presupposition’s that people make.

Here’s the thing, “Aluta’s” “American English” and understanding of it is a bit different. In the area which he was raised, he was taught to speak “British English” (also commonly known as “The Queens English”). As one should know, there are certain words, terminologies, analogies, and metaphors, that mean completely different things when spoken by a North American to a British Citizen, and vice-verse.

When I told him about the things that were being said about him (albeit, funny as hell simply because his words were misconstrued and misunderstood), he was appalled! As in Ghana, there is (for real) no such thing as being professedly, “GAY” and living a long life to tell about it. As in truth, your family, might be one of the first to String you from a tree!

GHANA is obviously NOT AMERICA & is profoundly different with the acceptance of the things in which the United States ‘outwardly’ pride themselves on not condemning.

It is an embarrassment for an entire family to have even one member be perceived as being “gay”. It speaks volumes that resonate throughout the entire Ghanaian Community. Also, It is not thought of as being “funny”, “freaky” or being on the “DL (Down Low)” to see two Men or Women stand in very close proximity to one another, nor is the draping of someone with their arm around the neck of someone else as a conversation is being had. People shower AND Breastfeed their babies, without feeling inhibited, and in some areas it is even acceptable to walk around without clothing to cover parts in which the American culture dare not publicly expose.

I know, that other misconceptions have been made about other people concerning things from sexuality, religion, political affiliation, race, gender, and a wide array of other things, amongst people in which the majority of us share our recent culture and history, simply based on a misunderstanding.

It is the reason that I feel the need to write this post. Prejudice’s to me, are very real and prevalent but are more often than not~ petty, simple minded and just plain wrong. We, each and every one of us, are ALL INDIVIDUALS. and do things that are unlike anyone else. Does that make either you or I inferior to another? I think, No, I KNOW, that it does not!

Stupid prejudice’s cause a wide array of unnecessary dysfunction, whereas if we took just an extra moment or two to ask questions, and attempt to understand another’s frame of mind, then we possibly answer the Late Rodney Kings question: “Can’t We All Just Get Along?”, with an Affirmative. “YES”!

I implore you all to please open one eyes, mind, heart and ears before opening our mouths (or in some cases typing with our fingers out into cyberspace) words, that can NEVER be taken back.

As it is, “When we make attempts to ill- perceive that we often make an ASS out of U and ME. (ASSUME)

BEING A WOMAN… has to be one of God’s most challenging roles. From the moment Eve took the first bite from that apple, we have truly carried the weight of the world on our shoulders.

Men look at us and say that they are the ones, cursed by God, with hard labor. I say, though the words are true, how many men truly follow through with the action???

From the moment we recognized our nakedness, we were damned! Do you think that Eve looked at her body and said… “Wow! I am perfect”? I think not! At the time that she exchanged her first words to Satan and followed his advice, she began to fail to see the exquisiteness of God’s creation. After this, her body became less and less the classic example of perfection and has diminished to what we have today.

Now, we attempt to beautify, our bodies with makeup that ruin our skin, fake hair that pulls out our own, acrylic that weaken our nails, and eyelashes that when loosened will irritate the hell out of you. We color our eyes with contacts, and many times end up with an eye infection and we attempt to painfully contort our bodies to fit “THE IMAGE!” What image? (you may ask) And I’ll answer, “I honestly don’t know! I don’t think any of us really do!”

Contrary to what this sounds like, this is not a rant meant to influence women to change their ways or their attempts at perfection. It is however, something much more…. Please read on.

To talk about how hard it is to be a woman, to speak of raising kids, to comment on how it is to be a wife or to be single, to speak about the trials of working and maintaining a home, or to speak about how men don’t understand us would be redundant. Therefore, it is not my goal to waste your time or mine with repetitive words that we’ve all spoken amongst ourselves, and will undoubtedly hear again.

Instead, my goal is to remind you, how wonderfully amazing, the girl, the female, the woman, the double X chromosome, really is!

Do me a favor… Take a moment for yourself, go somewhere where there is a mirror, and you can be alone. (For the guys, when the female you are with is ready take a look at her and follow these same steps~ when/if she allows you to) Free yourself from all that binds you (yes, that means take off your clothes!) Look yourself directly in the eye, and slowly inhale, then exhale. Inadvertently, your eyes will drop down to the rhythmic rise and fall of your chest. Inside beats the heart of courage, and strength, and within those depths exists life itself, this is your essence! Because, of this heart you have been given absolute power. You have the ability to create life, sustain life, connect the past to the present, and connect the present to the future. With this heart you have the ability to power your mind.

Your mind gives you the ability to conspire and inspire, and with your mind your mouth and your hands have the ability to move. You can and will impart knowledge, speak of peace and love, initiate happiness, or cause great pain. You can be vivacious and full of sass, or you can be quiet and seductive.

Your hands have the ability to heal a sick child or friend, to impart meaning with words unspoken. You can cause your significant other to feel a great deal of pleasure OR by applying the right pressure to the right parts, you can incense them with your wrath (lol) causing a sensation of complete distress unlike any other. (not recommended) You, WOMAN hold the capability to make others feel great love for you or be the cause of your own dismissal. You can be admired or abhorred.

Now put your hand over or under your left chest (depending on how far your boobs sag) and feel the strength, the intensity, of all of your virtue, beating just underneath. THIS is your source, your essence.

Now, (for those who aren’t prudish) take a look at that triangle between your thighs, (now I know some of y’all out there thighs kind of cover up the place that I’m talking about, and some of you others have stomachs that overlap.., lol but you know what’s there) Realize this, there is no woman on this earth who was born absent of this part. What it can do, has been, can, and will be done again, by all of the women before you and all that come after. Contrary to what you may have heard, this place is NOT what defines you. This place is just a detail in your anatomy, it holds no real resource, it holds no real meaning, because without your heart, it just becomes a cold, barren, orifice. ( & Unless you have the misfortune of meeting a Necrophiliac, It becomes meaningless.)

Understand this, contrary to what you have been told. You with all your imperfections, your stretch marks, your rolls, your dents, your moles or beauty marks, your dimples, your coloration, your size, your height, all combined, make ONE PERFECT YOU! Realize your power, own it, be it. Remember girl, that you are one Hell of an individual. Although everyday may not be a sweet sample of faultlessness, remember nevertheless, that you are.

Your power is in your heart girl! Do with it what you must, but take it all in Stride.

(Just thought I’d try my hand at a little something more sensual than my norm. Tell me what you think)

I’m that voice in your ear, the memory you can’t erase. I am the alpha and the omega in the most sensual of sexy ways. I am that morning erection, and all the reasons why you came. I am the sunlight that touches your skin, and the blood that rushes through your veins. I am the song that moves your hips, and the beautiful pain of intensity in your workout regimen.

I am the warmth of a good shower, think of my essence as your steam, I am all that you want, I am all that you could possibly need. Who could ask for anything more? I am the one that whose name intensifies love and the one that you adore. I’m That quiver in your abdomen, when your ears are licked, that’s me! My fingers tease where my hands play and I am that, which makes you scream!

I am your imagination a real life made from fantasy, open your mind, prepare your mouth, and breathe in completely ME!

I look around at complete perfection and wonder How can one ask if ‘YOU’ truly exist. I breathe the air that fills my lungs and know that its not a mistake but an amazing gift. I see the details of what you’ve created and think of the wonders you’ve performed for me, and laugh at how Stephen Hawking could ever come up with the simplistic idea of “THE BIG BANG THEORY”. Don’t they understand that you’re far more complex, your existence can’t be explained, but for whomsoever believes in you, their souls will forever be sustained?

I thank you for all that you’ve done for me and all that you continue to do, I believe that mountains can be bent- if that’s what you will them too…. I’ve had my trials, I’ve had my glories, I’ve had my moments of doubt, but I know that its you that delivers me, and its you, I’ve not been without. I come to you on bended knee and ask that you’ll forgive… the sins I’ve committed, the mistakes that I’ve made, and the ways that I’ve sometimes lived.

I thank you for your strong presence & the love that I often lean on, especially when I’ve felt abandoned by man, and enraged at feeling alone. I hold to the promise that you’re near and you’ll never leave my side. I love, I follow, I believe in you, I’m your sheep and you’re my guide. The beauty I see when I view a sunset and again with the sun rise, I understand, how blessed I am, that you’ve breathed into me life.

I sing your glory, I spread your word, and think to do as a good Christian should, I know that I often fall short of your grace, but you know my heart, and I’m understood. I try to uphold no excuses as I know that I have been wrong, in fighting battles that should be left to you, but Lord, sometimes you take so long. The sense in me knows that its your will & your way, you’re never late but always on time, please help me to control my whims and this emotional heart of mine.

The detail of a simple flower, keeps me fully impressed, when it comes to creating great things, My God, you are the absolute best- may this truth forever ring. I am but a small cell made in your image of what you say is good, and since all things are as you say, my awe of you is understood. I wonder what makes me a worthy something in which you would spend your time, but then I cringe at my audacity to question someone so utterly divine?

So I’ll take this gift that you’ve given me and live with uncontested faith, that you are in fact, the King of Kings, no one else can fill that space. Oh Lord, please guide me, order my steps, from this moment til I lay stiff in the ground, to praise and uphold none other than you, as you Amaze, Astonish, and Astound.

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It’s so funny, the things that we can advise others on, but when its us, ourselves, facing a problematic situation, the path of resolution evades.. It’s also interesting how easy it is to see things clearly from an outsiders perspective, and ridiculous how, whenyou are the one involved in a specific situation, your judgement becomes clouded, your path narrowed, and when it comes to finding your bearings, your personal GPS, all but fails you and you find it of the utmost difficulty (if not an impossibility) to both see and lead your way out.

Often, when friends ask advice, they start off by saying “If you were me what would you have done if……” (insert their situation here). I’ve not thought of this in-depth before, but for some reason, today, I realize that, if it were possible to become the other person, you would probably have done the exact same (crazy) thing that they did. This is because, it really isn’t at all possible to provide an unbiased, critical, evaluation of ourselves. We just do what feels right at the moment, and sometimes regret that very same action, later.

Recently, I received a call from a friend of mine who was desperately upset about some things that have recently occurred in their personal life. The situation felt somewhat like one of those “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with” scenarios, but somehow, twisted and reversed. Confusing right? I know! Let’s just say, that being caught between two (or more) opportunities of affection may start off as very empowering, exciting, and fun, but can also end with one being deflated, saddened, and confused.

Now, me, being the person that I am, had many thoughts about what this friend of mine had so recently endured, and I freely offered my time, advice, and sympathy, without hesitation. It was so easy for me to provide a soft but sound critique of my friends issues, I thought that maybe I really needed to go back to school and earn a degree in therapy. It was as though I had all of the answers, the ability to suggest or dismiss this thing or that, provide a possible resolution to one’s issues or concerns, and be someone else’s voice of reason, and it felt really good. It wasn’t until a couple of hours after the conclusion of our conversation that I realized that I had some type of nerve, offering up what I thought was truly, good advice when the situation that I was in needed a whole lot of advising of its own.

Have you ever realized how we, often times over extend and exert ourselves with the on-goings of other people? It seems that one can often times talk and advise, for what we view, as being for the benefit of another, as we simultaneously lose control of the situations that impact our own lives? How can it be, that we can be so completely engulfed and opinionated with affairs that don’t truly involve us, but whither up when it comes to providing sound answers for the things that do?

As of late, I have pondered this question, and I have come to the conclusion that instead of constantly providing my opinion with the dealings of others, I will instead become a sort of complex, sounding board. I will listen intently, to the concerns of the one speaking to me, and silently take into account the specific details of what I know about that person. I will ask questions that will, in essence reflect an aspect of what my opinion is but will, at the same time, afford them the opportunity to work out their own conclusions. After all, I do realize that I don’t have all the answers (most of them yes, but all of them…. not just yet, LOL!). I have also decided that I can’t truly say, what I would do if I were someone else, because the fact of the matter is that I am not someone other than myself, and that I can never, ever be.

Currently, as I hinted above, I have situations of my own, in which I honestly wish a step-by-step directory of what to do, and how to do it, could be provided. However, I realize that the vast majority of the issues I’ve been having, started with decisions and choices that I, myself, made. Therefore, the resolution to those circumstances reside completely within me. Sure, I, like anyone else, at times, would like to receive the input of others, but I also understand that when I seek out these opinions, that is strictly what it is… an opinion. Also, I understand that through other’s experiences, I can somewhat find a guideline of what to do with my own affairs, but not necessarily completely act in the ways in which other’s have.

What is truly important though, is that we start to take an in-depth look into the lives that each one of us individually live. Is your life perfect? Are there situations that have completely ‘thrown you through a loop’ and left you dazed? Have you got everything all figured out? If your answers to these questions are No…, Yes…, No…, then it seems that one should provide as detailed a critique into of ones own life, as we would do to that of a friend who has asked…. What do you think about this, OR, What would you do about that???

In my opinion (not that you asked), we can only ascertain the right decisions to make, by living the lives in which we, ourselves, have. There is honestly no right, and no wrong. The only answer resides in not what you would do, but rather within these two questions~ What are you doing now? -AND- What will you do next?

Thank you for reading,

Ms. T.M.Garrison/ A.K.A Trenni

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Ahhhh, this life that we live, this crazy, crazy, life that we live. We drudge through it, and we fight in pursuit of it, going day by day, until suddenly, we have no more life left to live. and…While we’re going through the ‘not so mundane’ motions of ‘living the life’ we come across some particular challenges. Especially from those things that we, ourselves, created, called offspring.

These kids nowadays, will put you through the wringer, send you to the depths of hell, and then, in the end, to exhibit the type of parent you’ve been, send you close to something akin to the Euphoria of Heaven. But oh, the trials and angst thow at one must go through to get to that ‘euphoric’ point.

I have a teen, and a pre-teen. The other day, I came upon the news that my teen, through the kindness of the school administration, received 2 days of detention instead of a full days suspension. The reason, why such a thing occurred in the first place… ??? I’ll tell you, but I promise that the end of the story will have you surely Shaking Your Head!!! As it stands…. There is only 1 full week and 2 days left until the end of the school year, and my genius teenager decided that it would be a wonderful idea to cut class, to play basketball in the gym… the class he cut??? STUDY HALL!!!

Now WTF??? Only a complete fool, mixed with a bit of Jack Ass would do such a thing. Yes, one of those, OR a 15-year-old hormone flushed teenager.

Now let’s talk about the pre-teen, the 11-year-old brat, (that yes, I helped make a brat) who uses the fact that she is the ‘baby’ of the house, to wrap us all around her finger and bend to almost her every whim. She is hormone(ic) too, I believe. As I was her age when my personality, my body, and my life completely changed. Now, I like to tell everyone that I was a perfect child but, as I think back on it, I might have presented to my very own dear mother (bless her heart, as I pray that God blesses mine) one or two minor problems.

The pre-teen female that I have, is currently having issues with her attitude, mouthiness, allegiance to friends, etc., and is about to get very well acquainted with the back side of my hand. She, at the beginning of the next school year will be entering Jr. High School, and I dread, knowing what is soon to come my way.

Lately, there have been some, changes in our household and the home life we’ve grown accustomed to. Our family dynamics are changing, and along with that our interpersonal relationships. My mind has been wrapped around thinking about so many issues, that perhaps my ability to be as perceptive a mother as in previous times is also having some effect on how things have been going. If that isn’t enough of a story to tell, recently I’ve been going through a very specific and individualized issue and its possible that my emotional status, can be an eensy weensy bit questionable. But seriously, am I deserving of the angst that seems to be constantly coming my way, via, the two ‘crazy, nut jobs’ that I bought into this world?

My car, as I look at it, is in pretty bad shape. Now, don’t get me wrong, for the most part, when looking at my vehicle from the outside, one mostly sees a nice wine colored paint job, primed to a shine, that glistens in the sun. However, when looked at from the inside, one sees black leather interior, that burns your ass to the 2nd degree in the sun, particles of crap intermingled into the black carpet, dust fragments of mostly DNA, skin cells, and crap, on the doors handles, the dash-board, the speakers, and everywhere else. Oh, and did I mention, the pieces of paper that bear the names of my teen and my pre-teen that have been stuck in the sun visors, seat and door pockets.

I guess, though, that ‘such is life’. Things often times look better, grander, smarter, more efficient, and economical from the outside, but when you take that closer look, you see that the resulting viewpoint can show evidence of details that may have superficially been missed. Whereas, a little team work and agreement amongst the passengers riding, cloth for cleanup, and some soap and water for beautification end up with an amazing result…

It took me a few days to post this blog, but when I wrote the majority of it I was in my hometown, under the care of my mother, as she fretted over some recent personal occurrences of mine. The time came though, when I needed to go back home to the place that my husband and I reside with my kids. The from the North to the South, was smooth and uneventful, until….. I got off the highway and on to the road of the very road that beholds the door that opens with the turn of my house key. It was then, that I noticed my car smoking and the temperature gauge shooting up and fast approaching the point of the read area “H”. The sweet smell of antifreeze started to mingle with the air, and I was compelled to get out. On the ground was a beautiful color of liquid green collecting in an immensely growing puddle. Of course, at this time, I’m thinking and shaking my head, what in the world am I going to do…. ? What a day, what a time, what a week, what a life!!!

Oh, did I forget to mention, my dear friends, that this day just happened to fall on one that is recognized as a national holiday??? Now I just want to scream, and scream, and scream, to the top of my lungs… DAMN! SHIT! WTF….. is next???

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Although on most days, so many things go right, I can still count just as many things that went wrong. There are moments when I could just break out in a fit of laughter or break out into a convulsion of tears. I swear, the range of emotions I can go through makes me feel like what a paranoid schizophrenic high on Valium and crack, soothed by marijuana, drunk, and flying head first off a building and upwards into the stars, must feel like.

Ok… that might be a bit extreme but nevertheless, don’t we all get those days when we feel just down right Loopy and out of Sync with the rest of the world??? Well, even if you won’t admit it, I know you do and that is precisely the reason I am writing this.

Everyday, we find ourselves attempting to cope with the situations that life throws at us. We deal with relationships, sickness, work issues, kid issues, friendship issues, car issues, home issues, bill issues, etc. etc…… These things, at times, generate the all too well-known word… STRESS! This little six letter word can cause you to do all kinds of uncharacteristic things.

You may get annoyed and yell at someone, when the instance probably, didn’t quite, call for that. You talk to yourself, you get dizzy, you sleep, you awake from terrible nightmares, you drink, (hopefully you don’t drug, but some of y’all probably do) you feel like punching a wall, and you can’t stand to be around anyone else. You feel like you are going completely out of your mind, and just when you are being pushed to the edge and thinking about picking up the phone and calling for some professional help… A sense of calm comes, and relieves you of the intensities in which you’ve been so recently overwhelmed. It’s almost Euphoric.

Ever wonder why things happen this way? I bet you’re thinking that I am going to go my usual route and talk about how God knows just how much we can bear, and that when things get tough it only proves that you are, in fact, strong enough to handle it. Now, while these things are indeed true, I think that I’d like to take you towards another way of looking at it all.

Being a little bit crazy sometimes can be a whole lot of fun! Besides being intoxicated, at what other time in your life can you get away with doing totally uncharacteristic things that your associates can quickly forgive and dismiss, as your world being just a little bit off course? When you’re crazy, you tend to feel a certain type of freedom that allows you to say what you want to say and do things that you’ve held yourself back from doing?

Being crazy isn’t even something that happens to just a select few. I mean, everyone, at some point of time in their lives, break down and just let loose. In fact, it is those few, who claim they never lose control, that are completely insane. . . . I don’t even have to name celebrities (like Lady Ga Ga, Elton John, Nicki Minaj, Leonardo Davinci, Whitney and Bobby, and of course, Tyler Perry’s, Medea, Charlie Sheen, The Octomom etc) to exemplify how being crazy just might not be so absolutely ridiculous..

So, my final thoughts to you on this subject is this. Go ahead, don’t comb your hair this morning, smear your lipstick past your lip lines, wear mismatched socks and tennis shoes, slur when you speak, miss your mouth when you drink. Just let go and have fun! Who knows? Afterall, being crazy just might make you famous!!!