You Have to Be Rich to Travel (and other lies we tell)

“Go and search for your own freedom. Stay in bed. Read poetry. Or go beyond your doors, perhaps to another continent, and write your own destiny.”

I found this little poem scribbled on the bathroom wall at a coffee shop in Phnom Penh, Cambodia. It sounds a bit like something I would’ve written as a teenager to remind myself about my values when I was older. I did that a lot back then; wrote notes and reminders to my older self to ensure I stayed true to what I really valued. And while some of those priorities have changed (I no longer want to be the offbeat artsy girl on MTV’s The Real World, thank god) many have remained constant. My narrative about myself has been consistently informed by a sense of adventure and a desire to do things differently.

I posted this poem to Facebook, as we do, and was surprised at the responses. The comments were overwhelmingly negative. People expressed their belief that the things listed in that poem were liberties only available to the rich, and that they themselves could not afford such a lifestyle. I was likened to a Republican (??), and accused of not “checking my privilege”. The message was clear– my Facebook followers believed that you have to be rich to travel.

I’m not convinced. Do you have to be rich to travel? Does it actually cost more to prioritize seeing the world than staying in one place and raising a family? Or attending school? It got me really thinking about cultural myths and other lies we tell ourselves to maintain the status quo.

A quick note: Privilege exists

Obviously. For some of us, the system is rigged, and things just aren’t possible. Resources are deliberately made unavailable, education unattainable, and debt overwhelming. This is a reality in our society, and one I think about often.

The meat of this post isn’t for everyone. I’ll let you decide if it speaks to you or not. If your situation truly has you in a bind (like you’re homeless, barely scraping by, and/or seriously need to prioritize your health) some of what I’m about to say may not apply to your life right now. But go ahead and skip down to the bottom of this post, as I believe that income level is not the only factor to consider when determining if someone is rich.

That said, I know my audience pretty well, and the commenters on my Facebook post are among the world’s most privileged. In fact, I met most of them while attending one of the country’s most elite boarding schools, and they all went on to receive high levels of education.

If you’re reading this post and comprehending everything that has been written, you are more privileged than 3 billion people in the world. You are also more privileged than about half of the North American population, who struggle with basic reading comprehension. If you have money in the bank, some in your wallet, and some spare change, you are in the top 8% of the world. In fact, if you made 18,000 dollars last year and then donated 10% of your income, you’d still be in the world’s top 8%.

Saying what we mean

The point of this post isn’t really to discuss whether or not you have to be rich to travel. My experience tells me that you don’t have to have a ton of money to see the world. As I’m writing this, I’m sitting at a riverside cafe in Hoi An, Vietnam, and I just sent in my monthly student loan payment. I’m spending less per day than what I was spending back in the states (in part thanks to a good exchange rate). I calculated my situation, set out a strict budget to maximize living off of my savings, and now I’m sticking to it. I don’t need any more convincing because I’m living it.

The point of this post is to discuss the stories we tell ourselves and each other about what we are and are not capable of doing. Whenever I’m met with strong opposition about a choice that I’ve made, I like to remember that people rarely say what they actually mean. Most of the time, they’re actually defending their own choices– or justifying their fears– by projecting them onto you.

For example, when someone says: “You can’t do that!”
They might really be saying: “I can’t see myself doing that and succeeding.”

Now, sometimes people are right. If you think you’re going to magically grow wings when you jump off a building, you might want to actually listen to other people. It’s important to be reasonable. But if you’ve thought something through, weighed the risks and rewards, and have decided to go off in the direction of your dream, someone’s opposition shouldn’t make too much of a difference. After all, it’s not their dream you’re after, it’s yours.

So really, when I hear “you have to be rich to travel,” what I’m actually hearing is someone telling me that they’re prioritizing something else, that they might even be a bit afraid to change their priorities at this point in time, and that I’m nuts for not doing the same. Fair enough; I’m just gonna keep sitting here with my 50 cent latte and enjoy the view.

Living deliberately

Another favorite passage from my adolescence is the following:

I went into the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to confront only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when it came to die, discover that I had not lived.

This excerpt from Thoreau’s “On Walden Pond” has become a bit of a cliché these days. But let’s consider it for a moment with refreshed eyes.

To live a deliberate life. Meaning, to be aware of the life that you’re living, the choices you’re making, and the priorities you’re setting. The truth is, no one wants to live an unexamined, unchallenged life.

We spend time and money on things we value. Those choices then define our priorities in life– they shape our lifestyles. How many people spend 20-50 bucks a weekend on food and drink with friends? How many of us chose to get married and have kids? How many people chose to buy a house? Or take out more loans to get a masters degree?

Let me be clear: none of these choices are bad. If this is what you’ve chosen and you’re happy with the way things are, great!

But it can be hard to differentiate what is a necessity and what is a choice. There are lots of aspects of our society that are set up to confuse the two. Even with the best intentions at the start, we might find ourselves at a dead-end job, clinging to a savings account because we need that Crate and Barrel furniture to complete our identity as successful, happy adults. We need that house in the suburbs. We need to get married and have a family.

This is a lie we tell ourselves. You don’t really need any of those things. Nothing outside of you can give you lasting happiness, and having a lot of things doesn’t make you successful. There are plenty of materially successful people who lead miserable lives of quiet desperation.

We don’t have to make like Thoreau and go live in a cabin in the woods to live deliberately. Living deliberately can happen here and now. It can happen on our way to work, or before we make a big purchase. It can happen before we go to bed, or right when we get up. It requires some effort, but the reward is worth it.

Instead of writing dreams off as impossible, or criticizing those who do go off in search of their own destiny, we can create our own path by looking clearly at our situation, and making informed choices according to our own values. The result is a happier, healthier life.

Maybe not everyone can do this. But more people can than we’re taught to believe.

You don’t have to travel to be rich

Let’s revisit that poem:

“Go and search for your own freedom. Stay in bed. Read poetry. Or go beyond your doors, perhaps to another continent, and write your own destiny.”

Do you see what I see?

It’s not about travel. It’s not about having a lot of money. But yes, my Facebook followers were right: it is about being rich.

Some of the richest people I know can’t afford to travel. A few can’t read at all. For some of them, the system has been rigged against them. For others, poverty is a result of a conscious decision they made, an unavoidable yet endurable consequence of a priority they set for themselves.

As one of them said to me when we last spoke “My family and I don’t have a much money, we don’t have many fancy things. But what we don’t have, we make up in love.”

Being rich is a matter of perspective. Some of the worlds biggest treasures don’t cost a thing: Staying in bed for an extra minute, watching your kids sleep. Reading a poem on the bus between jobs. Taking a moment to make a stranger a cup of tea or offering directions to a lost tourist. Pulling off to the side of the road to watch the sunrise on the way back from work. Being kind. Living in accordance with your values, spiritual or otherwise. Surrounding yourself with positive people, people who encourage you to dream and to be deliberate with your precious life.

If your situation and priorities align, don’t let the negativity and fears of other people convince you that you’re incapable of creating your own destiny. It’s never too late to go off in the direction of your dreams.

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Comments

Jessi, Very proud of you.Very well written, very interesting. Your Dad sent pictures to me of your travels. It looks like you really are enjoying what you are doing. Be careful in all these strange places. God Bless you and watch over you. Love you Grandma