>Be Captain>Fashion nazi it up, jackboots, hos' turtleneck, hos' armored trenchcoat>Everything seems to be going well, walking south of grav gen when suddenly>Run directly into e-bow arrow>Some murderboning tator wasn't even aiming for me>Get stunlocked, e-sworded, manage to scream out for help and the AI sets him to wanted.>Die>Poor CE gets the murderbone too, was just walking around in maint>Brings me to electric maint, loots me, goes to solars and spaces my body>"Dick">Think to myself that he's gonna fuck around with atmos and the engine and pretty much unleash complete hell>He heads south, going through maint, probably to head to science or to atmos>He has to cross departures to get to the other side of the station>BUT WAIT>SOMEBODY IS PATROLLING DEPARTURES>AND SOME SHITISANT WAS IN A LOCKER NEARBY>THATS RIGHT>ITS BEEPSKY>AND MIKU FROST>BEEPSKY GOES IN FOR THE STUN AND CUFF>MIKU GRABS HIM BEFORE HE CAN RUN>Justice has been delivered by the loyalist's favorite radio on wheels and legless assistant.But, in a sad turn of events, my body got trapped in space by the white ship. It did not return to the station. But Beepsky avenged me.

Context:This was on another server. The Captain's name was Nate Alistar.

>Spawn as AI>Install MAGNI>Gangs spawn, gangs get cucked>Get bored> -rename Poly/Nate Alistar/Captain>Captain begins a manhunt with the entire security force to find this "Imposter">Sometime later, inform Captain personally that Poly was the imposter>"How did this even happen?">"Unit is not trained in Parrot Physiology.">Look away, for a second, then come back.>Poly's gone.>Round-end, Captain was still confused how that happened, Poly has been thrown out the airlock.

Here's a story from a few weeks ago that has stuck around in my head for a little while. I tried to include context for exactly what different things mean, since I feel there's not enough good stories of ss13 in this thread that new players can read and understand.

I was manning medbay and wandering the station as Phoebe Lotsu, Chief Medical Officer to the stars. The shift was going pretty quietly while I was taking care of medbay, filling the cryo beakers and making sure that anyone who came in with an injury would be taken care of promptly and sent back out to work without any hassle. While I was handling various menial tasks in medbay, I overheard some things on the general radio, and later, on the command radio about various issues security was having keeping control over the station's crew who had started smashing windows and protesting. On the public radio, people called out about security beating innocent people and overzealously brigging people who committed minor offenses, while the Head of Security and Captain argued over command radio about how best to put down the "riots" they were facing. That' wasn't my concern though, as the CMO, I'm only responsible for making sure the crew of the station were healthy and able to work.

Up until the station's artificial intelligence became aware of a man who had purportedly been severely beaten and locked in the brig by security. While security was very clear in their beliefs that the convict in question was useless trash who deserved the shitty treatment, the station's AI (and my own ethical code) stood in the way, calling it barbaric and unneeded. At one point, an extra aggressive cyborg snuck in and broke the man out, escaping into maintenance with security in disarray.

Thus I enter into the situation, with the cyborg dragging the beaten assistant to me for candid treatment and a place to hide since I had a record for staying neutral and helping people in need. While I was treating him though, the borg ran off, and was summarily detonated by the Head of Security via the remote console in the Research Director's office. I tried to hide the assistant from security, but my efforts were duly in vain, and security stormed in, beat us into submission, then dragged him off. I later heard that he was executed and thrown out an airlock, not that I ever was able to confirm that. He just disappeared.

Distraught by the complete failure of my efforts to save a patient and the last efforts of the borg's going to waste, I wandered the halls looking for their blown out brain jar. After some frantic searching, I finally came across it and scooped it up. After some discussion with the brain, we decided that if he was somehow put back into a cyborg shell (something I didn't have access to, especially since security was fully occupying it at this point), he would just be subverted or blown again for trying to save the assistant. Instead, we decided to give him a new human body from a monkey in genetics, then change their DNA to mine so they could take my spare clothes and impersonate me. Honestly in retrospect, this may have been a pretty poor idea, but for the time I thought it was a noble idea since I identified with their selfless attempts to save that assistant (and also their monkey-man body was ugly as heck).

I send them on their way with my spare set of clothes from my locker, and finally get back to manning medbay with my doppleganger out on the prowl. After a few minutes of manning medbay and falling into a nice, steady cadence, a sudden BOOM rocks medbay and a bomb explodes, taking out most of medbay and one of my arms. I manage to scrape myself out of the wreckage and stumble to a safe spot in the main hallway. Deaf from the explosion, I flag down a security officer and the Head of Security for help, when I am suddenly tased and beaten. After several failed attempts to handcuff me (missing one of my arms, you see), I regain my hearing and surrender, laying down to show I am not a threat, and kindly ask why the fuck I was being attacked out of the blue?

As it turns out, a Phoebe Lotsu had just been in an altercation that reportedly began with her winking at the Captain seductively and flirting with him, somehow lead into the Captain and half of security chasing her down in escape guns blazing, and ended with the captain being murdered and spaced out of the escape airlocks, with Phoebe slipping into maintenance in a clean getaway.

Which... led... to this...

Clearly, I had been too busy manning medbay and getting my arm blown off to have done this, and I instantly cursed myself for giving my identity out so quickly and easily. I quickly explained the situation to the security officer who managed to ward off the HoS from executing me on the spot, and even managed to score an escort the escape shuttle which was almost about to arrive. Satisfied that I would survive without being packed into the brig section of the escape shuttle, I took my spot in the cockpit waiting for launch, where who should I see but another Phoebe who had both of her arms! Alarmed, I looked around the cockpit and saw it was completely full of people who hadn't noticed the two identical people (minus one covered in blood and down an arm, of course) who had been accused of murdering and disposing their captain. I whispered quietly to the other Phoebe asking what the hell happened, and why they were sitting there so quietly, when suddenly the HoS burst in and started shooting at me with a lethal laser gun. From here, I was left incapacitated for the next few minutes, and only briefly faded in and out of consciousness from some medical chemicals I had in my bloodstream.

From there, I saw various people from medbay who I had helped tell the HoS to fuck off, the other Phoebe attacking him to stop him, and the other Phoebe eventually being subdued and dragged off out of the cockpit. I never found out exactly what happened to them from there, but I sat there for the last few seconds of the shuttle ride buckled into my chair, my stump arm still bleeding out, dizzy from blood loss, feeling like absolute shit. I'd failed spectacularly at saving the people who relied on me the most, the borg getting blown mid-mission, the assistant being summarily executed and buried, and now my doppleganger assumingly being shot in the back and thrown out of a moving transit shuttle, and to top it off, I was crippled and torn apart myself.

Sometimes bad things happen to good people, and you just gotta roll with it and hope you can do better the next shift.

Whenever I roll a Job on the station I sometimes try to go for the Head of Personnel since it's a job that can effect people's plans and maybe even help people learn new jobs.This time though wasn't as... peaceful.Whenever I start up the day I always instantly close my shutters to get my bearings, I don my gear from my locker, setup a spare ID card, and set Ian on his dog bed.Today however I managed to atleast get my gear on before someone over the radio said "Huh, the HoP's shutters are closed. How suspicious." right before three people started beating on the windows in front of my office.I opened the shutters and told them "You won't get any access like that, fuck off." before promptly shutting the shutters on top of two people trying to swipe any ID card they could out of my computer.They got pulled out of the shutters and an engineer came by and fixed up my windows, I thanked him and gave him the access he asked for.I managed to get through two more people before QM came up to my window and asked for Engineering access. I told him I don't like handing out access to the death engine. He told me he only wanted the metal to fix up holes in the station and that he would need a suit. I told him everything he wanted would be in EVA and I was just about to give him that access when a man with an armblade ran in to my office and beat me to death.I was dragged in to medbay and cloned rather quickly. When it was all done I told, well rather signed, the Chief Medical Officer that I was mute. He went and got me a clean SE to help fix that and something to help with the brain damage I got from being cloned. Just as I managed to say "Thanks Doc." the cloner and the CMO's office exploded.We both wandered through space and in to the surgery theater where I realized I was not only deaf but I was missing an arm.Turns out there was a doctor in the theater working on a few patients already with more coming in. It was beginning to get crowded before the CMO came back with their medical space suit and we headed off. My hearing came back just as soon as we left. Turns out that wasn't the only explosion as someone had also wiped out security.I walked in to EVA to see the Head of Security arresting someone for breaking in, their reason was that the station wasn't safe. I told the HoS that Security and medical were both blown to hell and back, he sighed and uncuffed the man before leaving. I tossed him an airtank and he took a suit before leaving. Now that I had a suit I went around to see if I couldn't find anyone. I went to the bridge in time for the CMO to find me saying they had found my arm and wanted to reattach it in the holodeck.When we arrived it we found a doctor already working to patch someone up with another patient shortly on their way. I got my arm back and started helping the CMO in whatever way I could. He patched up an assistant and gave her a mixture of iron and nutriment to help her bloodloss. Just as we got everyone patched up and on their feet the shuttle had docked at the station and immediately Emagged from three minutes to ten seconds to launch. There was no time for us and we were left on the station.

I died, came back, almost died a second time, lost my arm, got my arm back, and left to float in space with the CMO that did everything in their power to help people.I think I'm going to start rolling for doctor when I play.

Shaps wrote:-Terrible things happening to good doctors-

I like to link stories like these to people so they know what they're getting in to with this game.I'll probably be using this one to show how bad shit happens all the dam time since this one doesn't use so many game terms.

This is a story from last night that as far as awesome goes maybe strays closer to 'or something like it'.Late night basil round, meta station. Mid range population of about 16-20, fair number for 2am. Extended. I decided to run one of my admin gimmicks, 'The Nervous Syndicate Agent', a well meaning, but generally bumbling Syndie who shows up to either steal the disk that bad captains forget to secure, or sets up a shop in maint to sell to disenfranchised Nanotrasen employees; Usually it ends hilariously when security gets in their valids as he triggers his implant to 'avoid capture', sometimes prematurely. Tonight, it's the latter and I park myself in that secure storage room between cargo and perma and setup shop. I do a little remodelling and lay down red floor plating, put up some posters and stock the racks and crates with a variety of goods. Everything from bombs and implants, to various gun bundles and clothing options. I keep the insignificant stuff on the counter next to the window with the more valuable/dangerous stuff in the back, but still on display. Finally, I tweak the access on the door and windoor to syndicate access and give myself a PDA and a lawyer cartridge.

This is always my favourite part of the gimmick. The initial sales pitch. I message everyone at once, "Tired of security spoiling your fun? Upset that Nanotrasen hasn't paid you in weeks? The Syndicate has what you want! Come find out shop in maintenance and join the winning team! Cash only."

It's great, I have the AI immediately message me about harm potential, medbay asking for implants and inquiring after healing equipment, engineers and cargo tech's looking at guns and the science guys like, "all of it. Give me those sweet tech levels" I reply to them as fast as I can.=> AI: We carry a selection for silicon units as well that excel in harm prevention. Garuentee your borgs laws 1/3 with stun upgrades, and x-Ray camera upgrades for yourself! Never again let harm go undetected!=> Engineer: Sure thing, we've lots to choose from, come on down and see if we have anything that catches your eye.=> Security: Sorry, you have the wrong number, this is Space Papa John's Pizza, we are uh... Currently closed right now. Please call again in two - three business days. Beeeeep!=> Cargo: Yes, we can do that. It'll cost you about 5k in straight dosh, or 5 gold bars.

An engineer wanders in, I greet him awkwardly, having given myself the stutter mutation. He asks about the shop and if there was anything I wanted from the bar, I tell him a syndicate bomb would be great! He heads off.My next customers aren't quite so accommodating as the full security force of the station storms into my shop. The HoS, two officers, the captain, and I believe either the HoP or the detective. Guns drawn, tele-scopic shields deployed, and I'm just waiting for the disabler barrage to put me down.Nervous Syndicate Trader stammers: "O-o-oh, hi t-there... C-can I help y-you?"An uncomfortable silence where one of the officers tests the normally free-access windoor. At last the captain pipes up, "how much for some adrenal implants?" And I let out a breath of relief. After that, I was in constant business, and my shop was 'sanctioned' under the command staff. The crew were pretty good about the whole thing! No one tried to steal my stock, and no one got mad when my prices were higher than what they currently could afford.

All this while I'm conducting my business the AI is trying to orchestrate someone to be his hands and deliver the combat upgrade for the xray vision. He has a guy whose willing to make the delivery, but has been dicking around in medbay waiting on a healing virus that is taking forever. Poor AI just wants to enjoy malf powers under Asimov. An assistant comes in with some gold bars, the defacto currency I'm using, and he gets a stetchkin he's super pleased about. The captain comes by and tries to barter with the box of medals. After a few attempts (God bless the stammer mutation) I convey that I won't just take it as a flat payment, and want to see the medals. I value them for their metal worth, and tell the captain he's got to at least provide some diamonds for the equipment they want.

Around this time owegeno is doing his own event, I can see him piecing together the objectives in the admin log. Some suave business lady trying to purchase the station.

I'm feeling pretty good with my event; I haven't been lynched, the crew are interested, and the miners are being valued for more than just science fodder. That is until one of them fucked up.

Admin log: An Ash Drake has been moved to station Z-level via mining shuttle!

I amuse the ghosts watching by having a panic attack inside my shop as fire rains from the sky just a short ways away. (My store is full of explosives, and one bad RNG and it all blows up) but the crew bands together and manages to slay the beastie! Unfortunately, the battle was not without cost. The AI's courier for the combat upgrade got killed in the fight, and they were having trouble finding anyone else who cared enough to deliver the upgrade. After all that time waiting, the poor bastard gets killed a screen away from my shop. I make a few more deals, the captain trades their crown for a few mid-tier implants. Business is good for the Syndicate! At least for me it is, owegeno's merchant isn't having much luck buying the station. And as their sales tactics get more aggressive, resistance to the idea continues to mount. Eventually, a mercenary team is called in to forcefully take the station, and my trader decides that situation is getting a little too hot for his liking, and begins to pack up shop. I sell the Gun Aficionado-detective a sniper bundle and get myself a space suit for the trip back. I plant a Syndie bomb in the shop when the engineer from before comes back.

"What are you doing?"

"C-cl-e-ea-ra-nce-e s-sa-le"

With my literal sack of money slung over one shoulder, I announce to the crew that I'm packing up and that after the initial detonation any surviving merchandise is up for grabs. Hilariously, c4 acts like grenades when their storage container is on fire, so when the dust settled from the FIRST blast, the crew immediately ran into the wreckage only to score me an unintended triple kill as the c4 went off.

At this point, I've been messaging the AI, intending to hand deliver an upgrade. With all the mercenaries running around, the remaining command staff confiscated the combat upgrade, not trusting the AI with it. Feels n somePity for the abused and forgotten AI, I arrive in front of his core and let them know that the upgrade is a special edition variant and traitorize him on the spot before evacuating myself.

Now, where mine and owegeno's events conflicted, is that the three people who died in my shops post-blast, where also the most well equipped, access orientated crew. So when his mercenaries boarded the station, they had almost no opposition outside of a crotchety AI. The conflict between crew, AI, and mercenaries reaches a point that a shuttle is called. At some point the tesla is released (???) killing the AI, and I opt to bring the curtain call by activating the nuke, timing it to go off a couple minutes after it docks (leaving room for either the mercenaries or the two emags I sold to be used to safely escape. During all this, an enterprising atmos tech is preparing a plasma flood to kill off the murderous mercenaries.

The shootouts and the saxxing about the station moves with the song, and the battle for increasingly ruined station pitches and tosses, and as the song winds down to a close the nuke goes off and the actors take a bow. The reactions to the event are mixed but overall highly positive outside of a few salty nuts. Who rightly so, complained their was a lack of cohesion between mine and owegeno's events and that the mercs were a little too well geared for a crew at 2am.Overall though everyone had fun, and look forward to the next time they have get to exploring maint to see where the nervous trader sets up next!

Last edited by MimicFaux on Tue Sep 06, 2016 3:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I was one of the assistants loitering near the comfy campfire in medbay, you sold me a stechkin for some space cash and silver bars that I stole from the ORM with a lifted ID. I also forced myself as Captain Miku's attorney and shouted nonsense legal mumbo jumbo at the sketchy lady and attempted to charge the captain several thousand space dollars for the service (cheap ass never paid me)

Really pissed i had to leave to get some sleep before the round came to a head, i could have helped to fight them off. Oh well. That round kicked ass and was amazing

Arthur Thomson says, "Since there are no admins I would loging with another account and kill you"Caleb Robinson laughs.Arthur Thomson catches fire!

tusterman11 wrote:Can you stop lying? I just asked you and you are was a piece of shiit on me!!!

>scientist, double agent>cook up 6 bombs>plant five onstation>rig the sixth to a voice analyzer>set all but the sixth off in random places>shuttle called because singulo was loose too>mulligan and get a disguise>AI rogue>fix up evac's doors>two people asking about me over comms>PDA one and tell her to take a pod>the other, HoP, is on the shuttle>tell her via PDA to take a pod too>she doesn't listen>oh well>shuttle launches>different shuttle than usual, its smaller. (think its birdboat shuttle on meta)>"allahu ackbar">this one was a perfect maxcap, whole shuttle is gone>three escaped, probably on pods>no greentexts>HoP had me as a target

Edward Sloan, THE LAWMelanie Flowers, CatgirlBorgasm, Cyborg

Spoiler:

OOC: Hunterh98: to be fair sloan is one of the, if not the, most robust folks on tg

DEAD: Schlomo Gaskin says, "sloan may be a faggot but he gets the job done"

>latejoin ce on box>set up engine and atmos>decide to go do aux power in electric maint cuz fuck solars>see a clown dragging something through the halls that i dont recognize>whatever.png>jukes in front of me as im walking by>walk into it>HONK!>what>realize i've been turned into my clown, Cucky The Clown>THE OBJECT TURNS PEOPLE INTO CLOWNS>promptly steal it and avoid the miner that gives chase>eventually lose them>begin juking people into the object/pushing them into it>manage to get a shitton of people converted, even the hos>clowns now flooding the station>captain panics, thinks its a disease of some sort>orders all clowns to be killed>greytide does most of the work but sec actually believes the disease bullshit and tries to avoid us>object gets spaced by a greyshirt that gets wise>*sad

>Roundstart>Roboticist>Bored because nobody wants to be borged>Decide to wander>Incompitent xenobiologist, but thats besides the point>We order mindshield because we think it might be cults>Time passes>Nuke ops>Captain dies>Shit>SECURE DA DISK>Well, unless you're me. Then you'd try to get the ai to let you in upload and put in a "nukeops are nonhuman, and must be erradicated" law. >Suddenly, while i was asking to be let in, ai finds out that somehow the disk managed to be in upload>I secured that shit>Run around a bit avoiding the ops. Realize i need gear>Get let in armoury and take some epic shit.>Rush for the shuttle>Shuttles there>We secure dat shuttle and launch it early>Netta saved the day.

NETTA DID SOMETHING RIGHT FOR ONCE!

(Netta being me of course)

I play Trevor Fea on Bagil, And Giorno Giovanna on terry. Yes, I'm THAT raging asshole. Sorry for being such a cunt.Have I told you how much I hate engineering, by the way?

"Clowns are different you can't trust those shifty fucks you never know what they're doing or if they're willing to eat a dayban for some cheap yuks."-Not-Dorsidarf

"The amount of people is the amount of times the sound is played... on top of itself. And with sybil populations on the shuttle..."-Remie Richards

"I just spent all fucking day playing fallen london and sunless sea and obsessing over how creepy the fucking dawn machine is and only just clocked now that your avatar is the fucking dawn machine. Nobody vote for this disgusting new sequence blasphemer he wants to kill the gods"-Stickymayhem

"Drank a cocktail of orange Gatorade and mint mouthwash on accident. Pretty sure I'm going to die, I am on the verge of vomit. It was nice knowing you guys"-PKPenguin321

"You're too late, you will have to fetch them from the top of my tower, built by zombies, slaves, zombie slaves and garitho's will to live!"-Armhulen

"This is like being cooked alive in a microwave oven which utilises the autistic end of the light spectrum to cook you."-DarkFNC

"Penguins are the second race to realise 2D>3D"-Anonmare

"Paul Blart mall cops if they all had ambitions of joining the Waffen-SS"-Anonmare

"These logs could kill a dragon much less a man"-Armhulenn

">7 8 6WHAT MADNESS IS THIS? POETIC ANARCHY!"-Wyzack

"We didn't kick one goofball out only to have another one come in like a fucking revolving door"-Kraseo

"There's a difference between fucking faggots and being a fucking faggot."-Anonmare

>Be Bagil>Be Ayybductor agent (That was the actual roundtype)>Scientist is on point, finds me an alright disguise in the form of someone who isn't likely to be out in public and tags me for retrieval>Abduct CE and engineer within 5 minutes of one another>Grab spare ID box for a plan that never came to fruition >Plan to abduct the captain>He goes in his bedroom, wait outside in disguise with my probebaton out and on stun setting with my silencer in the other hand>Wait patiently for a good 1-2 minutes>AI sees me, locks down the quarters>Scientist beams me out, Cap's confused and the AI's description doesn't really hint at abductors so they go and interrogate the guy I was disguised as>Decide we need to take care of the AI>After some fiddling around and a little bit of silliness, we manage to antimov the AI who would be an excellent distraction>AI goes full on kill all Humans as planned, we made sure it understood we fiddled its laws>Nearly had a close call when I got tased and our cover got blown but scientist was quick on the retrieval>By the end of the round we managed to abduct ~9 seperate people, 3 more than what was needed>Redtext because coding is silly but we all know it was really a greentext

>someone drops a literal fucking textbook on the fucking ai in laws (can somebody give me the source on this HARM CLUTSER A HARM CLUSTER B fuckery), feel immense regret over stealing the freeform board>give the ai a law telling it to push the crew towards wicca>IT ASKS THEM TO JOIN ITS SILICOVEN>SILICOVEN CARRRL>

>chilling in the bar with my friends>just kidding starting unrest in the bar with a bunch of random lizards>bill defoe sitting closer to the door than normal (THIS IS IMPORTANT)>start chucking the monkey at the bartender>he gets irked and comes out with his shotgun>can't get a bead on me through a posse of naked lizards>comes out to shoot me>grab bill>get him in an aggressive grab>bartender fires>pivot bill in front of me>he takes the bullet at the last second>throw him at the bartender>he connects, disarming the bartender of his gun>pick up the bartender's gun>pop out the shells and toss it aside like a badass>just kidding run away and fire it wildly at him, striking bill again >someone disarms me of the gun on my way out>i don't fucking care i pulled off a HUMAN GUNSHOT COUNTER

true story, i shit you not, i am the real deal, you should have been there.

>start my shift as warden>ops declare war>open up armory to sec team>run to HoP's desk to get all access>there's a fucking ash drake>watch as the line goes up in flames>get hit by a stray fireball and get crit>dragged to medbay>die anyways>time passes, crew eventually kills the dragon>ops show up in the aftermath>the ops have autism>the detective has the disk>ops finally track down and kill the detective>they can't seem to get the disk off him>the detective says in dead chat "THE DISK IS IN MY HAT">dead chat erupts>one of the ops gets critted by a spear to the head trying to find the disk>dead chat erupts again>minor syndicate victory but who cares it was funnyIt was a good round for dead people

SpaceInaba wrote:>start my shift as warden>ops declare war>open up armory to sec team>run to HoP's desk to get all access>there's a fucking ash drake>watch as the line goes up in flames>get hit by a stray fireball and get crit>dragged to medbay>die anyways>time passes, crew eventually kills the dragon>ops show up in the aftermath>the ops have autism>the detective has the disk>ops finally track down and kill the detective>they can't seem to get the disk off him>the detective says in dead chat "THE DISK IS IN MY HAT">dead chat erupts>one of the ops gets critted by a spear to the head trying to find the disk>dead chat erupts again>minor syndicate victory but who cares it was funnyIt was a good round for dead people

Who would have thought that the safest and most secure place to hide a disk would be poking out of the band on a fedora?

The Legend of Scrubs, MDYou are a traitor!Your current objectives:Objective #1: They mocked you in life, a lesser janiborg they said. Now they shall know terror.Objective #2: Hijack the shuttle to ensure no loyalist Nanotrasen crew escape alive and out of custody.

Cuboos wrote:> That god damn engineer who let the singularity loose was a traitor and the only reasonable person on that whole entire station.

Funny you should say that, since I was captain during a nuke op round recently and a peacekeeper borg hid the disk in the upload for me. I come back to get it after the shuttle arrived, and I find the borgie has put dozens of cookies on the same tile. Nearly crashed trying to pick it back up.

the best strat for hiding the disk is to have a service borg plop it onto his tray. if the tray module gets disabled he will drop it, but because borgs have no slowdown to damage or whatever and are completely spaceworthy/turret immune, he can just run around in the upload/AI core or throughout the station whilst bolting doors behind him.

-Round starts. Netta stafford, Priestess of tiamat.-Suddenly gravity fucks itself-Engineering goes to investigate-BLOB-We fight it for a bit-It ain't being stopped by nobody-FUckit, Gonna go to the hotel-Or not.-I Have a plan-"Ai, Disable the safties on the holodeck"-Plasma fire sim due to the blob being close to holodeck via growth.-BURN BITCH BURN-I died in the end, but so did the blob. I opened a path for the strike team to finish it off.

I play Trevor Fea on Bagil, And Giorno Giovanna on terry. Yes, I'm THAT raging asshole. Sorry for being such a cunt.Have I told you how much I hate engineering, by the way?

So yeah, thanks to Incoming we had sweet stand fights, I turned a few people into skeletons and tried to find them injectors and we had a bunch of fights. I sorta regret not recording it because it was pretty crazy.

Timestop with the antique laser is hilariously fun, do it if you ever get the chance. Though stun them first so they don't dodge out of the way like a badass.

bandit wrote:we already have a punishment for using our code for your game, it's called using our code for your game

The evil holoparasite user I can't believe its not DIO and his holoparasite I can't believe its not Skub have been defeated by the Spacedust Crusaders, but what has been taken from the station can never be returned.

OOC: TheGel: Literally a guy in a suit with a shuttle full of xenos. That's a doozy

Start of an average day on a spacestation as a space botanist, I follow my usual routine of stealing plants and bothering chemistry for some Unstable Mutagen.An engineer comes by and wants to have a... private chat. I tell them I'm busy tending to a plant that might die if I take my eyes off of it for more than a second.But he remains there, chatting it up with a detective who wonders by. I suddenly noticed he's an engineer and could help me out by hacking my machines!So I ask him to and he says "On one condition." and slips me the Head of Security's gun in my hands, I quickly stash it in my backpack before anyone could see it.He wants me to hold on to it for a second saying it's a bit dangerous to be carrying 'hot product.' then hacks my machines. I tell him sure and he walks on out.Later he comes by and I slip the gun in to a backpack and hand it to him. He commends me for keeping it safe for him and want to talk to me some more in the back room.He says that he has another job if I'm interested. I tell him "Being a botanist isn't exactly my dream job, let's say I'm listening." he says good and tells me that I need to listen for the code phrase "Fat Bluejay" and then I need to pick up a dead drop. We go in to botany's maintenance tunnel and he takes a look around, he says this will suffice. He reminds me the phrase is Fat Bluejay and someone will knock on the window four times, if all goes to plan I might be looking at a better paying job. We go our separate ways and I continue working on my plants, I mix a few genes together to make apples produce Unstable Mutagen all in all, pretty successful. I sit and wait, chatting with my co-worker and an armless engineer that hung out with us when the shuttle docks at the station. Right at that moment I hear "Has anyone seen that Fat Bluejay near the brig?" and hurry to the back room, I hear four knocks on the window and open the door. On the other side was a dufflebag and a mysterious figure walking away, I take the bag inside and open it up. Inside was the Head of Security's gun, a welding mask, and a note. The note read "Logistics has been compromised, all drops are cold, do not attempt to contact." so now I'm sitting around with a gun and no orders with the shuttle docked. I rush my way on to the shuttle, sat, and waited.

Turns out he had more people involved in this:>Allen, I had set up a whole supply chain from cargo through science>But for some reason cargo stopped responding>tfw your black market trade in questionable materials gets cucked by cockwork cultists

It's moments like this where I love the game and the players.

Last edited by One Seven One on Mon Oct 03, 2016 5:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.

>be clown>slip people >slip a doc with pda out>nab pda>decide to send heads threatening messages for HONK>oh shit its a syndi uplink>broadcast the owner with my clown megaphone>give it to sec>doc gets summarily arrested>all in a day's HONK

Deitus wrote:>be clown>slip people >slip a doc with pda out>nab pda>decide to send heads threatening messages for HONK>oh shit its a syndi uplink>broadcast the owner with my clown megaphone>give it to sec>doc gets summarily arrested>all in a day's HONK

Lie. I tried making a whole buncha clown PDAs once and they didn't slip shit. Coder probably got dunked once and removed it, or maybe it's a bug.

Spoiler:

"Clowns are different you can't trust those shifty fucks you never know what they're doing or if they're willing to eat a dayban for some cheap yuks."-Not-Dorsidarf

"The amount of people is the amount of times the sound is played... on top of itself. And with sybil populations on the shuttle..."-Remie Richards

"I just spent all fucking day playing fallen london and sunless sea and obsessing over how creepy the fucking dawn machine is and only just clocked now that your avatar is the fucking dawn machine. Nobody vote for this disgusting new sequence blasphemer he wants to kill the gods"-Stickymayhem

"Drank a cocktail of orange Gatorade and mint mouthwash on accident. Pretty sure I'm going to die, I am on the verge of vomit. It was nice knowing you guys"-PKPenguin321

"You're too late, you will have to fetch them from the top of my tower, built by zombies, slaves, zombie slaves and garitho's will to live!"-Armhulen

"This is like being cooked alive in a microwave oven which utilises the autistic end of the light spectrum to cook you."-DarkFNC

"Penguins are the second race to realise 2D>3D"-Anonmare

"Paul Blart mall cops if they all had ambitions of joining the Waffen-SS"-Anonmare

"These logs could kill a dragon much less a man"-Armhulenn

">7 8 6WHAT MADNESS IS THIS? POETIC ANARCHY!"-Wyzack

"We didn't kick one goofball out only to have another one come in like a fucking revolving door"-Kraseo

"There's a difference between fucking faggots and being a fucking faggot."-Anonmare

>Rolling for scientist>Roll captain>Uh, okay.>Mister Pepperoni the Librarian is waiting outside the bridge doors, asking that I order a pizza from Centcomm>I tell him fuck no>Borgy teleports in walks towards the door>"Borg no!">He opens the door>Mister Pepperoni runs around the bridge, demanding I order a pizza>I shoot my disabler at him>Well, attempt to>I'm a shit shot>Eventually the HoS comes in and he tosses him out>"AI, open this door." demands Pepperoni>"AI, ignore Mister Pepperoni." I say>Mister Pepperoni is back on the bridge before I even know it>But so is the HoS>Pepperoni gets tossed out again>I walk to the brig to check on things and head back to my office>"Mister Peppernoi is annoying me" says the AI>"He's in the captain's office.">God>Dammit>I head in to my office and disabler him for a third time>I Cuff him and take him to the brig>Ask the HoS what we should do with 'em>"Gulag, 250 points.">"But I just wanted pizza!">"100 points still.">We're right next to the door to gulag when suddenly the interrogation's room door opens!>Out walks Central Command Officer Vannessa.>What's that in her hands?>IT'S A FUCKING PIZZA.>We drag Mister Pepperoni in to interrogations and set his pizza down for him>We uncuff him and walk out, he finally got what he wanted.>BOOM>"Nothing to see here." says Vannessa>I head back to my office and message centcom "Say thanks to Vannessa for the pizza.">"Mister Pepperoni says it was a real treat.">So ends Mister Pepperoni>Or so I thought>A few more minutes later I get>Central Command Announcement "There's uh.. something strange in the captain's office.">Fucking dammit>I walk in to my office>So does the HoS, the HoP, two Engineers>Have you people ever heard of privacy?>In my office I came face to face with..>Mister Pepperoni's Ghost>"GOD">"DAMMIT">"NO, NOT THIS SHIT AGAIN">"WE BLEW YOU UP ASSHAT">The 'ghost' has this fucking video on it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNeKqxaXn34>The corner of my office starts.. glowing?>Oh.. fuck.>IN COMES THE SYNDICATE DROP POD>GUNS ARE FIRING AT US>EVERYONE WITH A GUN TRIES TO SHOOT 'EM>DOESN'T DO SHIT>OUT COMES AN OP>WE ALL DIE>Ops come in and grab the disk>The one with the disk doesn't even know how to switch their suit>They die and blow up from space damage>The disk relocated because of it>The disk ends up in xeno>Admins start playing another PIZZA song>Admins reskin the disk in to a green pizza>OPs finally get the disk>Station is gone in minutes>All because I wouldn't order a pizza

i was the CE that round, i had no idea what the fuck was going on since i was trying to use temperature pipes to cool down plasma. just as i finished the station blew, so fuck me i guess

anyway>tator cargo tech>admiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiins>"what">lemme trade for ninja>admin gives me shapeshift spell, tells me to go ED bot>go around enforcing THALAW and catching CRIMINAL SCUM>admin makes my taser rapid-fire>the yellow bolt's wrath fills the halls, literal streams of taser shots>clown trespassing in kitchen? CRIMINAL SCUM>jani not using wet floor signs? CRIMINAL SCUM>push fight in hallway? CRIMINAL SCUM>admins rename me "Shitcurity Prime">changes my taser to the projectile launched by the banana staff>still rapid fire>streams of bananas everywhere>nobody is safe from my conquest>CMO who ran off with the clown i caught earlier comes into view>knock her down with a good long stream of bananas>CRIMINAL SCUM REEEEEEEEE>drop her off at brig>she eventually comes back with hulk and a stick up her ass >tries to kill me>[air horns intensify]>drop off at brig again>keep catching CRIMINAL SCUM when some guy hits me with bluespace tomato>cant move now, must be a bug>change back to tech, then back to ED bot>only normal one now>admins too busy with stem cell homework to give back powers>call them a nerd>CMO thinks they killed me, i tase her as she's shouting her triumph over comms in the hall>she gets away though>comes back soon after with hulk>taser dont do shit>baton dont do shit>slowly move to sec with the cmo pummeling me the whole time, losing health at about 7% per hit>she actually follows me in>warden, hos, and an officer spring into action>disable her and cuff>walk off and board shuttle>JUSTICE HAS BEEN SERVED

Happend within the past 3? Days. I've lost all conception of time sleeping through days.

>botantist>boxstation >coworker, Harvey, and a not retarded chef.>aight a real botany round.>snag my setup and large beaker from our grinder.>go to chemistry and get mutagen>immediately get Gaia and grow that shit>meanwhile Harvey is growing like 15 plants already>we grow bananas with no slip genes.>clown happens to come by.>praise the HONKMOTHER!>takes a few and leaves.>we grow shit for the next hour and a half>nothing eventful>we harvest our shit but don't put it in the fridge>if we look in the kitchen we see the lone chef swimming in an ocean of shit>RANDOM RECALL NO ONE WANT>wait 2 minutes as everyones calling for recall>go up to the bridge.>ai doors please>walk past the captain. (Who called) and the ce and hop>still in botany clothes, go up and cancel the shuttle.>simply walk out>okay that was weird.>10 minutes later capt calls again>hes the only one who wants to leave>says the dead count yadda yadda>science is pushing out toys, borgs, and mechs like no fucking tomorrow>Yeah the dead are happy>recall it twice more before he realizes people don't want to leave just yet>o back to botany>"It's time to stop now." Admin write on the vendors in botany>ahelp whats going on>owegno says to pack our shit up, we're lagging the server>o-o kay, we put everything in the smartfridge>at this time start my own pet project making my gimmicks God apples.>Harvey needs mutagen>I go over to chemistry and say fuck it chemistry aint doing shit and both of them are dead in there.>ai open, drag em to cloning.>steal one of their id's,>take a chem dispenser to botany>Harvey starts making an ass load of shit,>egg-eggplants, blue-space bananas, blue-space tomatos, death weed, slip grass, walking mushrooms.>cool. I'll just sit here and be lame trying to figure what has sabumatol.>after like 8 tries get it down.>get my gold apples made with various shit>hugs has acquired a portal gun and God knows how many fucking metal foam names.>keeps fucking shooting portals all about in botany and the hall.>eventually the chef and Harvey have had enough of his shit and beat him down to crit? Never figured out what happend fully>ooooh a portal gun on the floor.>Yoink>shove it in my bag>hugs terrorizes botany for it back i refuse.>shuttle call, cap wants to leave.>as my job of botany, we are not leaving till the crew wants to!>use portal gun to get inside, recall shuttle>cap says next person to touch the console is dead meat>is that a challenge?>ai or borg taunts the gods that nothing can make us call the shuttle.>Yes yes, taunt the gods!>hos Skylar tells me to get ghost chili>Oh we already have it sir>gives permission to fuck about in rND>5 minutes later>NUKE OPS!>by now I have 299 of my God apples>destroy the tree.>go to rND and grab a taser that was on the table and get something else I forget.>nuke ops in science as I'm leaving. Hahaha fuck that>he targets me and starts shooting me with a saw.>hurting like a bitch, pop down an apple>go south to toxins. He follows>found Rd's body. Open his shit for anything.>im in a corner, nukie coming in my 1x1 way out besides pushing a canister >push the canister, he's on help intent, swap places with him and push a canister in the way>run out tell the closest mech nukie in toxins>we both go back in and start smashing/shooting the nukie to death, take his headset>hugs is back to botany harassing harvey.>"this is for earlier" uses dragons breath ammo on her.>preceeding to sax about for 10 minutes while a scientist helps hugs.>we ignore eachother as the shuttles about to leave.>I hide in the cargo Bay of the shuttle>round ends>at some point I stole the caps gun which his office was completely open but no one took it oddly enough>everyones fighting the in the silence of my room it was just hugs. And me>we shoot at eachother.>my caps gun empty stomach for a second>walk into a room to the south. Pop 2 apples and hugs comes in>we have a shoot out in a 5x5 room>make it outside to the main docking area>bombs going off, I'm getting shot up>go into crit, hahaha implying .>apples heal me up right good>hugs took my gun whist I was down. Shoots me more. And then switches to execution shots as i go into crit again>finally ends me>end of it all>"I thought you were trying to kill me">"no, I was trying to keep you as a pet like rin does."Good shit. That round lasted 3 hours

The Legend of Scrubs, MDYou are a traitor!Your current objectives:Objective #1: They mocked you in life, a lesser janiborg they said. Now they shall know terror.Objective #2: Hijack the shuttle to ensure no loyalist Nanotrasen crew escape alive and out of custody.

Cuboos wrote:> That god damn engineer who let the singularity loose was a traitor and the only reasonable person on that whole entire station.

The Legend of Scrubs, MDYou are a traitor!Your current objectives:Objective #1: They mocked you in life, a lesser janiborg they said. Now they shall know terror.Objective #2: Hijack the shuttle to ensure no loyalist Nanotrasen crew escape alive and out of custody.

Cuboos wrote:> That god damn engineer who let the singularity loose was a traitor and the only reasonable person on that whole entire station.