A blog by a woman who simply can't make relationships work, so instead of wallowing in self-pity, she decided to explore singleness with some humour and honesty.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Just Words

Okay single ladies (and gents)... I need to talk about the power of words. To me, words carry a heavy weight and power to them. They have the power to lift a spirit or to crush it. They have the power to enlighten a mind or to darken it. They have the power to give joy and to steal it. There is no wonder that the Bible says that the tongue is sharp because of the words that it can send out into the world from the heart. And I do believe that while the mind tells the mouth and tongue what to do in order to get the sounds out in an orderly and understandable (well, sometimes orderly and often times not understandable) manner, it is the heart that comes up with what to say (I know, I know scientists in the crowd... the heart is the mind, just a different centre of synapses). So I guess that is why words have so much power. They come from the heart, they come from the core of who you are. Even when you are lying...there is a little truth there. Isn't that what a lie is: twisted truth? And I believe that truth is the essence of who you are, so lie or not, you are in your words.So, with that understanding, or my understanding of what words are, I begin to wonder why people are often so careless with them. I know I have been careless a time or two with my words as well. I have often let the anger in my heart escape my lips instead of taking time to calm my heart and capture my thoughts so that I can speak from my heart in a way that doesn't negatively impact others. But I think that is part of the human condition, to make those kinds of mistakes and to learn from them. I am a work in progress in every aspect of my life and I love to learn so I think I am in the best position to be better in all manners of being. But I begin to wonder about others.Recently, I have come to find out that my past relationship was built on twisted truths. I thought that the love that was expressed from his mouth was truth but it was lie. I thought that the commitment that was spoken from his mouth (he had told me, my family and my friends how much he loved me, that he wanted to spend his life with me and that he wanted to marry me specifically) were truth, but they were not, they were also lies. As he put it, "I know I said words of commitment before, but they were just words and that is all." JUST WORDS?! But words have power and carry weight. Words come from your heart... don't they? Is it different for men and women? For men, are words just things you have to toss around regardless? Or do they also believe in the power of words? I am sure that many men do believe in the power of words and I believed that I had found one, but found out two years later that I was wrong.Lesson for the single: Words are beautiful and ugly at the same time. Guard your heart and mind from the ugly and seek the beautiful. And if you figure out how to do that... let me know.