In the case of Tom vs. Kat, who will gain custody of Suri Cruise and her closet full of teeny designer flats remains to be seen. However, might be important to note that the kid is 6 years old, the same age as son Connor was when Cruise split with Nicole Kidman, and both Kidman and Holmes are Catholic, suggesting that the marriages' ends may have resulted in a difference of opinion on which religion to teach the kid: the crazy one (galactic dictator brought aliens to Earth) or the sane one (man conceived immaculately, walks on water, comes back from dead, is now available for consumption via Necco wafers). [NYDN]

Lane Garrison was released from jail today after two months in the clink due to claims of domestic violence. He posted $50,000 bail in order to be released. He allegedly hit an ex-girlfriend in the face and had already been under parole hold for a 2007 vehicular manslaughter conviction. Ironically, this man is best known for a role on the show Prison Break.[E! Online]

"I know you got raped by a priest," paparazzi terrorist Alec Baldwin screamed at a photographer while squeezing his arm in rage and holding a pink stuffed animal in his other hand. "You gotta back up there, Rodney," he sneered at a black photographer whose name is not Rodney (fucking YIKES). Says his 16-year-old daughter Ireland (whom the actor infamously called a "pig" during a fight): "actually a very mellow guy, and since he changed his diet, he's been doing so much better . . . This is all just wedding stress." So... what's his diet now? Douche pellets? [Page Six]

Carla Bruni, wife of French former president Nicolas Sarkozy is pregnant again ("With emotion?" "With a baby."), and will add to their stable of daughter Giulia, born last October, and Pierre, 25, Jean, 23, and Louis, 15 from Sarkozy's previous marriage. [Express]