Saturday, December 29, 2012

Here’s how this previously discredited crisis management tool works: the lead R-words make a lot of noise about being adults, making hard choices, the magnitude of the crisis, the seriousness of consequences, etc., etc..Then they sit back and wait for Big Guy ride in on his palomino pony; hence clinching the myth that only BO can save the day.

There'll be a load of compromisin' On the road to my horizon But I'm gonna be where the lights are shinin' on me

You probably remember how well this strategy worked for John McCain in '08,

So there’s no reason why we can’t expect the same sparkling results from Big Guy’s bag of conflict resolution tricks this time around as well. Of course the fiscal crisis is far graver now, since we kicked the “hard decision” part down the road past the election. We’ve progressed waaay beyond the “eat your peas” point now; we’ve blown right past broccoli too and now we’re all the way up to kohlrabi1.

Specifically, what Big Guy told the nation yesterday after an hour’s worth of really hard work trying to hammer out a deal with the do-nothing Congress is this:

“Ordinary folks, they do their jobs. They meet deadlines. They sit down and discuss things and then things happen. It there are disagreements they sort through the disagreements. The notion that our elected leadership can’t do the same thing is mind-boggling to them. It needs to stop. So I’m modestly optimistic that an agreement can be achieved. Nobody’s going to get 100% of what they want. But let’s make sure that middle class families and the American economy and in fact the world economy aren’t adversely impacted because people can’t do their jobs.“

Or, as the Gateway Pundit put it: “That’s a pretty bold statement considering he was in Hawaii golfing all week.” Of course, as we all know BO is not “ordinary folk” – hence ordinary rules do not apply.

So I think we have every reason to expect a spectacular New Year’s Eve resolution from our Dear Leader. Something befitting a guy with a big hat holding us all as chattel.

Like a rhinestone cowboy Riding out on a horse in a star-spangled rodeo

All he has to do is kick the dirt and click his little rhinestone heels together,

and voila! Off the cliff we’ll go. We can always work on the landing later.

And if everyone else jumps off the cliff, why wouldn’t you follow?

1 Kohlrabi: a strange member of the cabbage family that appears to be some type of alien root vegetable

that comes in both white and dark varieties. It appears to be an alien root vegetable, butt what looks like a root is actually the stem. The actual root is hidden away underground secretly sapping all the nutrients out of the soil with speed and alacrity to produce a really odd vegetable that most people will refuse to eat.

Lady M will tell you how delicious kohlrabi is, butt she has never actually eaten it herself – too much like slave food, you know? And speaking of Lady M, I’m sure you will all appreciate the color “pop” of her latest pedicure. Gives a whole new meaning to “banana boats,” no?

During a cute segment on what The Cycle hosts did for their respective Christmas celebrations, Touré shocked his colleagues (and plenty of viewers) by saying that he refuses to lie to his children about the existence of Santa Claus, instead allowing his kids to pick out their own presents and not think that some “stranger” magically places gifts under the tree overnight.

“My 5-year-old and 3-year-old, we didn’t talk about Santa at all,” he explained. “I went shopping with them and let Hendrix pick out a present for himself and his sister…the idea that the presents did not come from us never came up. It never occurred. We put out the presents before bedtime on Christmas Eve. There was no myth that some stranger is going to come in through the door.”

Co-host Krystal Ball had just explained her daughter’s cute Santa-related story, and so she proceeded to tease Touré and call his parenting decision “lame.”

I, on the other hand, think uber-liberal Touré might have inadvertently stumbled onto something and ought to be applauded. His approach to raising children by not lying to them might just save the country.

Dear Santa, I’m 2 years old. How much do I owe you so far?

Can you even imagine the benefits of having a whole generation of children who’ve been taught that there’s no such thing as Santa Claus! That it’s up to them to work hard, save their money and then buy what they want rather than waiting for Santa to deliver their presents every month.

Good luck Touré, that’s going to be a hard sell. And until that takes root, yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. As long as BO is president and Congress is in session...

all of our Christmas presents will be funded by Christmases future.

So here’s the immortal question: is it better to lie to your children about “Santa Claus” or not to lie to your children about “Santa Claus?” I reflect, you decide.

So I’m afraid I must demand that David Gregory be prosecuted for breaking the law - as he did by brandishing a lethal “high capacity magazine” on Meet the Press. He must be treated just like any other criminal for this act which was clearly an act of dangerous disregard for human life.

Butt if we are to employ the same standards to “won” of them, we need to arrest David immediately, in order to protect the population of Washington D.C. from this dancing maniac who clearly looks like he could go postal at any moment.

In Washington, people who are caught in possession of the type of magazine that Mr. Gregory had can face up to a year in prison, said David Benowitz, a criminal defense lawyer.

“You would be arrested; you would most likely be charged with possession of an illegal magazine,” Mr. Benowitz said,(snip) Mr. Benowitz said the accusation from the police that NBC had asked for permission and then went ahead with showing the magazine “didn’t help Gregory’s case.”

Yeah, asking for permission is pretty damning when you ignore what you are told directly from the law enforcement authority and do it anyway.

(snip)

David Gregory isn’t being investigated because he’s David Gregory; if he were anyone else, he’d already be in jail

I know that David Gregory is one of our intellectual betters, knowledgeable about everything in the aggregate and expert in the entirety, butt if he broke the law, I’m afraid that’s even more reason to lock him up. After all, he’s the one who’s been lobbying for more aggressive gun laws.

And the fact that he ridiculed NRA president, Wayne LaPierre, for suggesting that we post armed guards in schools requires us to demand – in the name of fairness - that the armed guards at the school David Gregory’s children attend (Sidwell’s) be disarmed as well. You know how our betters feel about hypocrisy.

As Professor Jacobson reminded us, it’s important that we watch the watchers:

We have to do more of this, investigating the investigators and inquiring of the inquisitors. It’s one of the legal insurrections for 2013.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas! I did, and even managed to go home to visit my Mirror family. Little Bro Mirror was released from the hospital and was home for Christmas; a testament to the miracle of modern medicine. Everyone told him how lucky he was to have suffered this major health malfunction before he was forced to buy a chance in the Obamacare lottery and wait for his number to come up – one way or another. So even though he still has a long recovery ahead of him, we were all humbly grateful and joyously celebratory this year.

Butt here’s what you get when the “B” team is on duty:

Instead of a high quality reflection, all you get is a grainy, crappy photo taken by a local journolist of MO and BO leaving Morimoto Waikiki where they dined before Christmas.

Actually, the restaurant choice was surprising because, as I pointed out last year, Morimoto isn’t exactly an exemplary model of our new soon-to-be-imposed standards of civility.

A little too much “Samurai Warrior” for the kinder, gentler, unarmed citizenry

As I understand them, the civility standards require the complete disarming of both citizens and uh…undocumented workers.

Not that I’m accusing Morimoto of being an illegal alien:

Butt that tongue is suspect

Other than eating, so far we haven’t done much in Hawaii, mostly playing golf with our personal chef (Sammy Kass, who goes everywhere with us now that “body man” Reggie quit to pursue “other interests”).

Oh, and Lady M? She continued performing her good works even while we try to relax in Hawaii. She helped NORAD direct Santa’s sleigh to the homes of good little black children all around the world on Christmas Eve. And as is often the case when Lady M lends a hand,we broke records.

Monday, December 24, 2012

That’s right: MOTUS has now won the the prestigious award in the category “Best First Lady Blog” 4 big years in a row! As you can imagine, the competition was brutal in that category. Anyway, it’s a record! At least for me.

Since I’m on the road today I don’t have any more holiday recipes to post, butt please continue to include your faves, as I’m saving them all for post-Christmas taste testing. Who knows, maybe we’ll have a contest!

So in lieu of another sugarplum recipe, I wrap up today’s post with a Christmas Eve re-broadcast from year one of the occupation. I’m sure it’s what led to my first FABULOUS FIFTY blog award from Doug Ross. (note: you may have to open the link in Firefox or some other browser, IE doesn’t always want to open Doug’s posts for some reason )

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Here we are the Sunday before Christmas when our thoughts should be turning towards peace on earth, goodwill towards men and what do we get instead? A snarky little piece in one of our most reliable left-leaning propaganda outlets. In an article titled “Today we are gathered…to hear more about me”, the author notes that “Obama likes to see events through the lens of his own life’s chronology.” And then she impertinently proceeds to demonstrate:

Someone needs to tell Barack Obama—it must get particularly confusing this time of year—that his own birth is not Year One, the date around which all other events are understood. His much-noted, self-referential tic was on cringe-worthy display Friday when the president gave his eulogy for the late Sen. Daniel Inouye, who served in Congress for half a century representing Obama’s birth state of Hawaii.

Apparently there is still some question regarding BO’s birthplace.

While Slate is not the first to note how inappropriate BO’s self-centric eulogy of Senator Inouye was, it’s certainly the first liberal rag to drop a piece of coal in his sock. In return, the publication received this Holiday token from the Big White:

And now back to our normally scheduled programming: another sweet treat for breakfast. This one is brought to you by MOTUS’ little sister who skipped the partridge and went for the fruit of the pear tree. A delicious make-ahead.