Posts Tagged ‘indescribable’

Its raining tonight, I wonder how long has it been since the last time I actually ‘enjoyed’ this weather. Nowadays the nostalgia that I used to get whenever it rained doesn’t feel the same anymore. Maybe because I’m running out of time, or simply because I just don’t have much to think or feel about concerning the past.

Somehow things have changed a lot over the years; yet in some way nothing much did. I can’t explain that last sentence, I myself am ‘lost’ right now.

Ever had those moments? I mean, you know you have been through a lot of transitions in life for the past, say, 5 or so years. Yet you can’t help but feel like you have been static all this time; unmoving, unevolving, unaltered, not physically, or spiritually; nor mentally. Somehow you even feel, in such an enigmatic way that even ‘time’ doesn’t ‘move’ with you.

Purpose, that is an ‘anchor’ that we all could use in this unending, bizarre & subconsciouslymanifested realm in which some of us are experiencing. Though, I know it will ‘pass’ as is should be for everyone else, maybe one day when my ‘time’ comes and snatch me far away to an immaterial plane of non-existence, while simultaneously clinging unto a galaxy in which the only known intelligent(just because we’re at the top of the food-chain) sentient being would be one that happens to be a carbon-based life form.

Looking outside my window, its’ still raining. But I’m not just looking at the rain~drops(not like I can identify each raindrops that falls mind you); nor am I smelling the wet-earth or the feel of the cold night breeze; it’s more like I’m being a part of it all.

“Yeah, someone is really losing his marbles. “ Don’t blame you for saying that, or thinking that way. I kinda’ think the same. But then again when some is losing his marbles, that person wouldn’t know he is losing his marbles in the first place, would he? Even if a shrink tells him so.

Let me see, how do I put it…it’s like…like being stuck in a ‘bubble of time and space’ while everyone and everything around you kept living, moving, changing within their own existences.

But then again, who knows; it is a long road …and it gets harder to see as you tread upon; so tread lightly whenever you can. Yes it’s true, when you tend to have so many of these questions; one tends to get lost in ones’ own world.

And as your journey gets hazy, you can’t help but feel disoriented from all that life throws at you.

And as day turns to night, the more precarious your journey willbe… the path stretches and coils out to the ends too far for the eyes to see. I’m not looking for a light at the end of the tunnel. Cause right now I feel like I am that tunnel.

What I’ve written…about “Thee”..and know that its pretty ‘Rare’ I do this, because I’m not ‘healed’ completely,and know that…hmmm…’some’ things can’t be shared with ‘Everyone’ actually….

In the darkest corners of the chrysalis of my soul,
I could only hope for a faint light to shine,
A decibel of amusement in this gloom where its cold,
Maybe I did see dim lights through the cracks of this heart of mine.

Not only was the glimmer of hope within my vicinity,
A jovial voice accompanied its beautiful ray,
Maybe if I could reach to that speck of light within this corridor of misery,
I could feel again the warmth that I’ve longed for everyday.

So I dared myself to reach it with every ounce of patience,
Footstep by footstep did I take to get closer,
As I made contact with the small fleck of radiance,
I was a bit taken aback by its laughter.

And how I longed for this kind of feeling,
In this self made tomb of apprehension and madness,
For I never knew within millions of chattering,
A ‘blessing’ came to me and brought me solace.

As I break free from my own chains and of my own cage,
I kept the light close to me without having any fear at all,
No despair, distress, depression nor rage,
I felt happiness and enlightenment as time halts to a stall.

Of this cage I built around me,
Fashioned from my own folly and insanity,
Its slowly falling apart into tiny little pieces and bits,
And before I was even aware; it slowly deteriorates,

I don’t know how you could put my heart at ease so easily,
As you are an enigmatic and mystifying person I’ve ever known,
It’s a gift within you that God has granted unto thee,
For you have done more that what others have shown,

For you are more than just a complete mystery,
And I wish you’d accompany me a little bit longer in my dark-city,
Where neither light nor color exists and no sun shines daily,
Maybe one day my Lady; I’d be free from my anguish and misery.
For I have a special friend now to guide me.

BOOYAH!!.…If you’re at least smiling or [in case of the ‘Panja’-throwing up]…then I know I ‘got’ you…HaaaaHaa!!