Tchaikovsky Sounds Funny

Is this where I put in key words such as sex, lesbians, vampires, Christopher Lloyd and others things to which this blog do not pertain, but by putting them here, I may get hits from all the Christoper Lloyd lesbian vampire fans (and you know who you are)?
This is the primarily humorous and occasionally rambling writings of Leon Tchaikovsky, humor writer. Enjoy.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Rockin' Robin, Tweet Tweet, Rockin' Batman

Are people in Colorado too stoned to realize the usefulness of gun laws?
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 3h
Notice how no one in "Sons of Anarchy" goes to couples therapy. #SOAFX
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 3h
News that men with smaller penises spend more time with their children was not the best way to get more men to spend time with their kids.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 4h
It's only been the first week of play, and already Los Angeles is eliminated from going to the Super Bowl.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 4h
New York Giants decide "you know, maybe we need a running back."
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 4h
I just hope "Sons of Anarchy" doesn't kill off Lady Sybil. #SOAFX
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 5h
One site states Irish men are the worst lovers. Another states porn stars rates Irish men as best lovers. Maybe Irish are just into porn.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 5h
@geneweingarten I shall try. Let's see if I get something by her. I guess what day is best to commit stock fraud is too obvious....
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 5h
@sutterink Do you have any plans if the President blames MC clubs for selling Middle East weapons?
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 6h
@geneweingarten She screens and chooses questions. You should see what she rejected from me. Maybe there is no such thing as Uranus rising.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 13h
@KimJungUn If you don't give your people more freedoms, we will keep sending you Dennis Rodman.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 13h
@sutterink Well, each Commissioner fines at an average rate of...oh, wait, you meant fine for the "word".
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 14h
OK, I could be wrong here, but I suspect George Zimmerman might possibly have anger management issues.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 9 Sep
"Batwoman" will not allow a lesbian marriage Sorry, Batman and Robin, but your time may have to wait a bit longer.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 9 Sep
@carolLUSH Thank you for the favorite. I would love to read JT's and Jax's journals.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 9 Sep
@sutterink Are the JT journals going to be written and published?
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 9 Sep
@LadyGrew Not until all of Pussy Riot have all been released from prison for over a year may the woman may say they as "so last year".
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 5 Sep
During an emergency landing, I think it is beyond rude when the person in front of you refuses to bring his seat forward.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 5 Sep
Well, for someone who has been in three emergency landings, let's see if I can survive a fourth. If not, remember me, the faceless Tweeter.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 4 Sep
Has anyone seen BabySexiestLyingWit while I've been on this computer for the last hour? How far can babies crawl? #BabySexistLyingWit
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 4 Sep
BabySexiestLyingWit can't crawl yet but already has an application for private elementary school and Harvard. #BabySexiestLyingWit
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 4 Sep
BabySexistLyingWit eyeing the dog. Not falling for it, it's you, the baby, I smell. #BabySexiestLyingWit
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 4 Sep
BabySexiestLyingWit just said "ahmalama" because he is too young to talk. #BabySexiestLyingWit
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 4 Sep
If you have a Twitter account in your baby's name, you are spending too much time on the computer and not enough time with your baby.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 4 Sep
I could never be in that "50 Shades" movie. I can't even wrap Christmas presents right.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 4 Sep
If Britain is behind the chemical warfare, I say we invade England, dethrone their Queen, and install democracy there.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 4 Sep
Wait, Britain sold Syria the chemical warfare? I thought only the USA was allowed to do things like that.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 4 Sep
@scottwerner Thank you. Now that Ariel Castro of Ohio has died, may we now normalize relations with Ohio?
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 4 Sep
I have no opinion on Ben Affleck being cast in "50 Shades of Grey".
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 4 Sep
Now that Ariel Castro has died, may we now normalize relations with Cuba?
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 4 Sep
So, when you are testing coffee beans to see if some animal pooped them out, are you rooting for them to have been pooped, or not?
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 3 Sep
Gone from frequently meeting people whose sisters dated Bob Dylan to meeting people whose great aunts dated Bob Dylan.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 3 Sep
@MonicaHesse While McCain plays poker on his iPhone during Syria hearings, Obama plays poker with the world.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 3 Sep
@petridishes Mayor Stubbs was obviously a victim of an international conspiracy. I would be questioning Russian Wolfhounds right about now.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 3 Sep
Anyone remember back when Dianne Feinstein and Al Franken were considered liberals?
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 3 Sep
"There will be no boots on the ground." He didn't say anything about them wearing bedroom slippers.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 3 Sep
@petridishes Remind Dennis Rodman that Kim Jung Un may have executed his girlfriend. Is he sure he still wants to be friends with him?
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 3 Sep
@petridishes Maybe Dennis Rodman likes despots. Get out your "50 Shades of Gray" book and reverse roles.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 3 Sep
@thebobbieoliver I am not an expert here. Avoid people sending cash payment in dimes and nickels.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 3 Sep
@thebobbieoliver I have been telling people for years that Pay Pal is not that easy site it claims. It is not your pal and you will pay.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 3 Sep
@geneweingarten How much money can I get to promise not to fart on an airplane?
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 3 Sep
Did Diana Nyad take a rum ham with her?
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 3 Sep
@petridishes Dennis, be careful. I hear she read that "50 Shades of Vincent Gray" book. Who knows what immoral ideas she picked up from Gray
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 2 Sep
"All the news that fits" is now Facebook, where people may fit as much as they want.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 2 Sep
@thebobbieoliver Thank you for the favorite. I was glad to be told something we wrote together 39 years ago remains a favorite piece.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 2 Sep
Time eradicates all the great loves, Love is for the present.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 2 Sep
One of the great wits I ever met loved to jump on commuter trains and ride them. He was a wit who died way too young falling off a train.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 2 Sep
Wow, medieval serfs had more time off than we do today. History will judge us as they real servant generation. Happy Labor Day.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 2 Sep
@sutterink Did you receive my comment on your blog? If not, I congratulate you on excellent work. For the challenge, I hope you will drop by
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 2 Sep
I have reached the stage that I need to rest before I can go to sleep.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 2 Sep
Tommy Morrison was one of the good people to have known. Tommy, you were great as your work.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 2 Sep
@one_time_tweet Thank you for favoring a tweet, It was a shy tweet and feared no one would notice it.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 2 Sep
@Virdinpvvv Thank you. As a 80 pound anorexic I would love to lose 23 pounds in 26 days.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 2 Sep
Muscat Love in Heat #RejectedYankeeCandles
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 2 Sep
New York Yankees Locker Room #RejectedYankeeCandles
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 2 Sep
Christmas Trees in February #RejectedYankeeCandles
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 2 Sep
New York Subway Station Supreme #RejectedYankeeCandles
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 2 Sep
@Rinangnp Thank you for the link. Since I don't know you I didn't click it. But I appreciate your thinking of me among others.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 1 Sep
Can you be a good Christian if you believe "let Allah sort it out", because doesn't that mean you believe there are two distinct Gods?
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 1 Sep
I have reached that stage in life where I need to wear glasses in order to find where I put my glasses.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 1 Sep
My condolences to supporters of Nelson Mandela on the mistaken Internet belief he died.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 31 Aug
"I don't believe you can tell a what kind a person he is by the kind of wine he drinks" said they guy sipping with a straw from a boxed wine
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 31 Aug
LBJ would have been one of our greatest Presidents had it not been for Vietnam. History often repeats. Sorry, did I write that out loud?
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 31 Aug
To the person selling chocolate covered bananas out of his car: You are supposed to peel the bananas.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 30 Aug
Soon it will change from "all the men out there are married or gay" to just "all the men out there are gay."
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 30 Aug
Facial recognition data means what some most feared: TMZ will be able to find out who got plastic surgery.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 30 Aug
The rise of the Krispy Kreme Cronut confirms we are a commercialized society.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 30 Aug
Has the era of insult joke comedy fallen and now replaced by the era of foul language joke comedy? Discuss amongst yourselves.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 30 Aug
Kim Jong Un: Worst Concert Attendee Ever.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 30 Aug
Creating element 115 is huge: Comic com nerds won't stop yapping about it for months.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 30 Aug
"It is easier to fight for your principles than it is to live them." AES. During Civil War, cotton trade continued between North and South.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 30 Aug
South Carolina wins. Everyone in North Carolina is now required to live their lives in total shame.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 30 Aug
On the Internet, no one knows you are a dog. Yet people will quickly figure out if you are an idiot.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 30 Aug
If you turn down a speaking invitation, don't then claim you were never invited. Sorry, Fox News, I forgot facts are too hard for you.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 29 Aug
@TheFix @FixSean Henry Scoop Jackson, Tricky Dick Nixon, Tippecanoe William Henry Harrison, Boss William Daley, Arnolld Gubernator
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 29 Aug
Kim Jong Un just won Worst Boyfriend Ever
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 29 Aug
Sorry for the previous tweet. I do not mean to take too much time from the Miley Cyrus discussions.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 29 Aug
Is there anything more American than getting having people killed in war in a foreign country where our presence is a detriment?
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 29 Aug
If I make the Trump University football team, they suspend you if you don't charge for autographs.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 29 Aug
How is it my old Twitter account I haven't used in a year and a half gets more new followers than my active account?
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 29 Aug
Turns out I did not graduate from Trump University after all. I flunked the final.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 28 Aug
This is magic: Whisky turns into bourbon when it goes into Kentucky.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 28 Aug
She wrote all she could find in Georgia were guns, uncontested divorces, and strippers. What was she looking for?
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 28 Aug
OK, time to remove my teaching at Trump University from my resume....
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 28 Aug
It is against college rules to "douse freshmen with urine", which is something most upperclassmen didn't think of until they read that.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 28 Aug
Now trending: #HappyHumpDay would be a #BadStripClubNames
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 28 Aug
I love how Twitter automatically adds an accent to some words It makes me appear less dumber than I is.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 28 Aug
If you were shocked by Miley Cyrus, you should have seen how risqué Elvis was in 1955
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 28 Aug
@SallyMullins1 Glad to do the kickstart. Although I must admit I do not remember buying you a motorcycle part.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 27 Aug
Rick Perry is running for President, and will go to Iowa, New Hampshire, and that other state he is trying to think of.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 27 Aug
For the next year, "Girls Gone Wild" will instead be filming "Guys Gone Wild."
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 27 Aug
@SallyMullins1 See what happens when you wear the right shade of blue in front of a green screen
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 27 Aug
@socueme Thank you for retweeting the tweet about running. You have helped it run even further.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 27 Aug
Shortest sound bite competitions #DCOlmpicEvents
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 27 Aug
Running for office #DCOlympicEvents
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 27 Aug
Retirement Home Follies #BadStripClubNames
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 27 Aug
The Hanging Chads #BadStripClubNames
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 27 Aug
Miley Cyrus's Teddy Bears #BadStripClubNames
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 27 Aug
@RSt3w4rtW Thank you for favoring a tweet. Mother always liked that tweet better.
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Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 27 Aug
@jaxcqxln Thank you for the favorite. The tweet's self esteem has improved enough that it got dressed and went out of the house.
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