Thursday, July 10, 2008

i never seem to have these things around. i buy them... they run out, and i forget to buy some more. it's a good thing most people keep them out in gandy little dispensers in their bathrooms.

that's right i'm not just using your facilities when i come over. i might be cleaning my ears too.

q-tips are one of the most versatile hygiene products ever created in my opinion. not only do they clean up the yuck from the ears better than anything else ever invented, but they are good for detail cleaning of just about any small area around the house. absolute genius.

only problem with them. they should not be placed inside the ear.

it's dangerous to do so.

it could result in severe injury

or death.

"huh? sorry, i didn't hear that. you see my ears are all clogged and if it was safe to use a cotton swab in my ear i wouldn't have this nasty wax blocking up the works. i'm afraid to put the cotton swab in my ear because the label says it's dangerous." says scary guy wearing the tin foil hat.

that's right.. check the label. those things are dangerous. killers.

i am sure a few people over the years have died, or been seriously injured using a q-tip, but i don't think it's that dangerous. these things have been around for almost 90 years.

when was the last time you heard of a bathroom q-tip incident?

if you are afraid of the q-tip then there is always the candle wax remover. to me that is a little scary, and gross.

after i clean my ears i am going to do some detail cleaning of my remote controls and computer peripherals. many of them are getting a bit gritty. i think it's time.

for a buck83 i can use a whole bunch of them and make one of those monster faces in the mirror... just like lane in better off dead. ok not just like him.. i am sure he was using "real" "q-tips". not some store brand, but as you know a buck64 only goes so far.

The government saw fit to give myself and many others in america a tax rebate in an attempt to stimulate america's floundering economy.

billions of dollars are being sent out electronically and through the mail to responsible americans in hopes that we will together boost the economy with our purchases of big tv's, furniture and other high end merchandise.

I got 600 bucks. which i plan to use to stimulate the economy one day at a time.

600 bucks divided by 365 days comes $1.64383, so I will stimulate the economy a buck64aday.

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rules to buck64aday

1. on the first day of spending i may not spend more than a buck642. if i do not spend the entire buck64 then the remainder goes into the kitty.3. i may not spend more than the buck64 plus the remainder in the kitty.4. the kitty can accumulate as much as i want.5. i may not borrow from future buck64's to increase my ability to purchase any goods or services.6. any monies i might aquire from advertising, websites, book deals, commercials, promotional spots, speaking tours etc. etc. etc. (you get the picture) are purely my own. they will not be added to the original 600 dollar pot and will be for my own personal use. i will purchase whatever i like with this money if any ever materializes. you will applaude me for this and wish you thought of the same idea.