The Dream of the '90s Is Alive at SunFest

When we think of the '90s, our chemically damaged brains get flooded with remembrances of outdoor music festivals, tattoo-covered girls, excessive body piercings and poorly-kept facial hair. It was a simpler time, and George W. Bush was just another guy in Texas. SunFest promises to transport those of us that haven't the patience or energy for Ultra anymore back to those uncomplicated feel-good days.

In an era where music festivals are riddled with drugged up circus freaks covered in neon and guys dressed as toothpaste desperately looking for some bitch named Molly, this year's SunFest is a much-welcomed throwback. It allows us all to revisit the unadulterated joy of rocking out with endless booze, sweaty, sexy people. And of course there's Billy Corgan belting out simultaneously angry and melancholy verses from his shiny, alien-like dome.

Sun-kissed bikini bodies and sunburnt beer bellies, floating barges with masses fueled by Captain Morgan, hot and indulgent edibles, the Robinson brothers' ever flourishing beards, and the world's largest paint party: These are just some of the things you can expect to enjoy while jamming for five days to an impressive musical lineup. With about 275,000 people stretching out along Flagler Drive, facing West Palm's picturesque intracoastal, you really couldn't ask for a better setting. We're betting, based on bands and location, SunFest will generate a significant spike in birth rates nine months from now.

Over 50 bands will be performing, with headliners that include Train, Smashing Pumpkins, the Offspring, the Black Crowes and Less Than Jake, just to name a few. You can pretend you're 17 and skank out during Less Than Jake's set. And no... That doesn't mean what you're thinking.