Garden Menace – What Comes to Mind in the Gardenhttps://gardenmenace.wordpress.com
Gardening related blog where I sometimes cuss.
Tue, 16 Oct 2018 09:16:08 +0000 en
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1 http://wordpress.com/https://secure.gravatar.com/blavatar/1916689ea8a0733d8391969e96005c2f?s=96&d=https%3A%2F%2Fs0.wp.com%2Fi%2Fbuttonw-com.pngGarden Menace – What Comes to Mind in the Gardenhttps://gardenmenace.wordpress.com
What common tree diseases should you report to tree surgeons in the UK?https://gardenmenace.wordpress.com/2017/10/10/what-common-tree-diseases-should-you-report-to-tree-surgeons-in-the-uk/
https://gardenmenace.wordpress.com/2017/10/10/what-common-tree-diseases-should-you-report-to-tree-surgeons-in-the-uk/#respondTue, 10 Oct 2017 11:33:44 +0000http://gardenmenace.wordpress.com/?p=835The most destructive tree diseases shattering the UK in past years are actually non-native. In their natural habitats, the fungi and pests causing them have natural predators that keep the ill-wishers intact. Here, however, the suppressors are absent and there is no balance established.

You will see that, without their native ecosystem’s control, they can almost obliterate whole species of trees here in the UK. Fighting off such organisms takes years of studying and persistence. Nowadays, a timely announcement of the issue may be the key to eradicating it from the plant in question. In order to preserve our woods, a responsible Briton from the capital, for example, should take the matter of a sick tree to a tree surgery London company. From there, the surgeons can estimate the future of the tree and the current development of the disease. These are the most common tree diseases in the UK:

Ash dieback disease in progress.

Ash dieback

Or also famous as Chalara is a tree disease that prevents water from transporting to leaves in ash trees. It’s caused by a fungus named Hymenoscyphus fraxineus. It is most likely spread by careless planting of already sick trees and eventually distributed by wind via the fungus spores. In most cases, if a tree is being struck it’s safe to sign it out. The disease will weaken the tree making it prone to other diseases and pests eventually killing it. Occasionally, however, trees are able to tolerate it and spend many more years under its influence. Unfortunately, it is untreatable. Only young trees that have it are being destroyed. If the appropriate tree specialist sees an older tree has the potential to withstand it they won’t fell it.

Hard to miss the scars of Dutch elm disease

Dutch Elm Disease

Similarly to the Chalara this fungus (Ophiostoma novo-ulmi) attacks the vascular systems and prevents water from reaching leaves. This results in slow but sure dying out of the crown of the tree. The affected trees are wych elms and the Japanese elm. The fungi are spread by the elm bark beetle. This disease has almost wiped out wych elm in the UK with over 30 million trees killed for the past 50 years, according to the Foresty Commission of the UK. Look for traits of the disease throughout the whole summer and in early autumn.

Chestnut blight is easy to spot.

Chestnut blight

This is a fungal disease caused by the Cryphonectria parasitica fungus. It mainly targets chestnut trees, “preferring” sweet chestnut – Castanea sativa. What’s scary about this illness is that it has already destroyed most of the chestnut trees in America, not long ago. During the 19th century, it was accidentally introduced there from Asia. It has reportedly killed over three and a half million trees ever since. Its effect, here in the UK, is not as bad, but it’s notable nonetheless. In some occasions, the fungi are being attacked by a natural virus. The viral infection does not affect the tree but weakens the disease enough for the wood to recover.

Acute oak decline

A disease where oak trees “weep” black sap through their bark. It only affects oak trees in the United Kingdom. Tree experts cannot agree on what causes it – some think it’s bacteria, others think there are abiotic factors. The good news is that trees would often survive and fully heal after being infected. There are cases, however where trees die just 4 to 6 years after contamination. The disease “targets” mainly older trees (around and above 40 to 50 years) and the species it chooses are the pedunculate oak, sessile oak and some of their hybrids.

Knowing more about these tree diseases allows us to react in time and perhaps win the battle one day and save the UK trees.

]]>https://gardenmenace.wordpress.com/2017/10/10/what-common-tree-diseases-should-you-report-to-tree-surgeons-in-the-uk/feed/0genalorainnePotatoes In Barrels – save space but keep the productivityhttps://gardenmenace.wordpress.com/2016/10/13/potatoes-in-barrels/
https://gardenmenace.wordpress.com/2016/10/13/potatoes-in-barrels/#respondThu, 13 Oct 2016 06:09:28 +0000http://gardenmenace.wordpress.com/?p=782Let’s say you really want to grow potatoes, because let’s face it – who doesn’t. Potatoes are a great part of man’s menu because they can be cooked in many varieties, all of them delicious, they are nutritious and last but not least – rich in vitamins. But there’s a small problem with urban gardening – you are poor and lack enough space for a fabulous potato garden. Worry not, because great gardening minds came with the idea of containergardening to avoid such issues and still make your potato dream achievable.
Being a potato is sometimes stressful.

What is container gardening and why should you give it a try?

Container gardening is not only effective for successfully spacing your plants on small limited areas, making way more production per square foot possible, but it also keeps your plants well protected from weeding , unfriendly fungi and pests. Not to mention there is no more damaging your potatoes when trying to collect them but rather you just tip containers over and voila! It’s easy and upon reading further you will be convinced that it has numerous advantages over normal potato growing(Boring!)! Here is what you’ll need to do:

1. Find the proper container for the job

You should choose depending on the available space you have and also mind that the volume of the containers limits your production. Basically any container with holes or one that would not be a problem to cut will do. Barrels of any sort, be it plastic trash bucket, used food-grade drums, even a keg. The 55 gallon drums are perfect. After making the right choice you would want to clean the thing because uninvited guests could have a negative impact on your little barrel garden. A low on bleach solution should do the trick.

Since drainage is what will make your spuds grow healthy in container gardening, it is crucial you drill or cut some holes in the bottom of your barrel and on the bottom side. That will keep the potatoes dry, which is very important for the successful growing process. Roughly 20-25 holes in the bottom should be enough, 8-10 in the sides. Rot is bad, aeration is good! It is well known that potatoes require plenty of watering to grow healthy so it is logical good drainage conditions should be provided. It is very important you lift your container up where the air circulation would suffice and also the water would not be jailed inside the barrel from the ground underneath. So you did not just drill 25 holes in vain. You can just balance it on cinder blocks.

You will also need to make a choice about your soils. There are three criteria your soil should cover

Light. Really try to avoid heavy textures;

Nutrient rich;

Affordable!

Peat soils are best in that matter. The peat is able to stay light while holding the water, and the perlite in it allows good aeration of the soil. You would also want your soil damp, so a good idea would be to just dump your soil on a tarp and water spray it with your garden hose. Shake the sides of the tarp and then spray again in order to mix the soil well. If you have your hands on some worm poop (this came out so wrong) use it as well, because potatoes have no worries growing in almost anything if a good drainage is provided.

Clearly this lady only posed for the photo judging by her clean hands and fingernails.

2. Getting the right plant potato varieties

Spuds aren’t exactly grown from seed. If you don’t have them, go and get them. But this should only be a one-time purchase. Later on, when you have fully grown potato tubers, you can just chit the sprouts that grow out of the “eyes”. That is the potato seed. Wilja potatoes will do particularly good although ratte potatoes will not do bad too. Depends on your preferences.

Now it is time you get started. Put some 6 inches of soil and compost in the barrel and then add another 4 inches of sawdust. Chop the potatoes in slices each of which should contain two eyes and let the chopped spuds dry for about 48 hours. After that you can plant them but mind the soil should only cover them, no need to push them to the bottom. Dampen the sawdust and behold – in just few days you will notice sprouts victoriously making their way through the tree shavings. Always makes me cry.

This shot was taken after her potatoes sprouted.

3. Keep adding soil

Dump another layer of soil each time you see your young stems and foliage grown more than 6 inches. Soak it and always keep the soil damp ,but be cautious not to allow overwatering. Proceed doing so until the sprouts reach the top of the bucket/barrel. This “burying” process creates space for more potatoes to form above the parent eye, each time you perform it. Layer after layer and by the time you manage to fill your barrel with soil you will have around three feet of potatoes ready for harvesting. Quite impressive, right?

4. Harvest time

Flowering and yellowing of the plant usually takes up to 10 weeks(sometimes more). After that it is safe to assume they are ready to harvest. First do a little inspection – gently dig down with your hand to check the upper layer of soil. After that you are ready to collect them. As I mentioned no shovels and spading forks needed, simply dump the barrel on its side, tap it so it all comes off the walls, pour it out and see the magic for yourself. Another bonus is that after harvesting your magnificent spuds you can use the organic leftovers of the material for your soil garden.

Another classic shot of hands holding stuff dramatically. In this case – potatoes.

Some tips:

In order to save money and time for the next year, just save some potatoes from your previous harvesting and use them as seed;

Try combined growing of bush beans and potatoes. They get along really well;

You can try growing your spuds entirely in wood waste. No soil;

I encourage you to experiment! Try different buckets, different watering routines, different potato varieties.

]]>https://gardenmenace.wordpress.com/2016/10/13/potatoes-in-barrels/feed/0sad-potatogenalorainnepotato-barrelpeat1purpose-of-life-2hands-potatoesPeculiar oddities inhabiting your rain guttershttps://gardenmenace.wordpress.com/2016/10/05/peculiar-oddities-in-rain-gutters/
https://gardenmenace.wordpress.com/2016/10/05/peculiar-oddities-in-rain-gutters/#respondWed, 05 Oct 2016 14:25:41 +0000http://gardenmenace.wordpress.com/?p=714Often the most talented fortune teller won’t be able predict what will end up in your gutters. Leaves, branches, and sometimes a squirrel, find their way up there and eventually stop every future flow of rainwater. This does sound like a neat place for animals to lurk right? What do you think you can find up there? A bird, or a raccoon, perhaps? Correct, but that is far from the full length answer. There are mysteries up there you’ve never imagined to encounter in your otherwise peaceful gutters. See for yourself:
Squirrel looks smug.

Did you know:

Sometimes the rotting leaves and other debris, naturally, decay into a nice compost and, out of nowhere – plants! Not only do they grow there, they thrive! Make sure you let NASA examine your clogged gutters before you clean them up – answers to how life has formed 4 billion years ago on our planet are awaiting humanity there.

That of course is not the strangest thing you can find up there.

Did you know:

There might be mice roaming your gutters.

Honestly you probably do. Gross but not surprising. But

Did you know:

Said mice attract predators. Such as SNAKES. Yup, discovering a snake up your dirty gutters is totally normal. Do you feel like cleaning them up now? Don’t you know how all the trouble in the Bible started? Eve found a snake in the rain gutter and from then on it went downhill – forbidden fruits, God’s wrath and whatnot. If only were to properly maintain her property.

“Eve, are you a coward? ‘Cause cowards stay away from that fruit over there, lol.”

And since we’re here…

Did you know:

Frogs are common gutter roamers. Of course, how they get there is conducted in secrecy. Though it’s understandable after all, if the gutters are clogged with mud all kinds of insects can breed there. If you were a frog finding yourself there would literally equal frog heaven for you. What’s even more curious there are cases where the mum frog lays a couple hundred eggs in the gutters. Loathsome, but as loathsome as when the time comes for the little tadpoles to become grown up hopping buggers. Imagine hearing frogs jumping around in your rain gutters. #lol #pukedinmymouth #lolagain

“You seem to be lost, son.”

Snakes and frogs may somehow find a way up there, that seems rather plausible.

But what do you think of this…

Did you know:

EARTHWORMS can be found in your gutters. Now this is a brain teaser. Theoretical guttering scientists claim that…they have no clue how this happens. Some theories say that a bird might’ve eaten a pregnant worm and the eggs would survive after being pooped on your roof, and there you go. This is not confirmed though, and earthworms in gutters still remain a mystery of mysteries.

Underground photo of a earthworm community from NatGeo.

Other animals such as chipmunks and birds, cats even, are some of the logical inhabitants of your rooftop and gutters, no puzzle there, just a honourable mention.

And finally:

Remember that one frisbee that mysteriously disappeared on your roof? All kinds of toys are found up there. From playballs to spider-man action figures. But hey, nothing unusual in Spidey getting up there, I mean that’s his job, acting like…

…Spiders. A nice clogged gutter with life thriving in its stagnant water(mainly flying insects, including mosquitoes) is a perfect hunting field for most spiders. Sometimes lots of them. Statistics are way too frightening to be mentioned here. Too bad that creatures as beneficial for your garden and home had to be made so nasty looking.

“If I were venomous would I have a goddamn smiley face on my back???”
]]>https://gardenmenace.wordpress.com/2016/10/05/peculiar-oddities-in-rain-gutters/feed/0mow-the-roof-guttersgenalorainnegutters-squirreleve-snakewrong-gutter-songummy-wormshappyface-spiderAquaponics greenhousehttps://gardenmenace.wordpress.com/2016/09/27/aquaponics-greenhouse/
https://gardenmenace.wordpress.com/2016/09/27/aquaponics-greenhouse/#respondTue, 27 Sep 2016 08:22:20 +0000http://gardenmenace.wordpress.com/?p=622Aquaponics greenhouses are becoming more and more popular among merchants and buyers. People are looking to buy “Aquaponics veggies” and when there is demand there is also supply. A clear reason behind that:

If you look up “ingenuity” online “Aquaponics” pops up!

So pure.

Both aquaculture(the cultivating of aquatic creatures, for example…um, fish) and hydroponics(growing plants with no soil) have some drawbacks.

Hydroponics requires lavish supplements to sustain the plants, furthermore obliges occasional flushing of the system which can prompt waste transfer issues.

Re-circling aquaculture needs to have over-abundant supplements expelled from the system, typically this implies that a rate of the water is evacuated, for the most part consistently. This supplement rich water then needs to be discarded and supplanted with clean crisp water.

While re-circling aquaculture and hydroponics are both exceptionally effective strategies for acquiring tons of fish and vegetables, when we take a gander at what happens when adding the two up, these negatives become positives.

The positive parts of both aquaculture and hydroponics are preserved and the negative perspectives no more exist. So someone smarter than me and you came up with the brilliant idea of combining them.

Two fish doing fish stuff.

The mix of Aquaculture and Hydroponics is called Aquaponics. Having a greenhouse for your Aquaponics system would be an eco-friendly idea and also a great example you can teach your toddlers about ecosystems with! The investment would totally worth it.

How the whole Aquaponics wonder happen:

I’m not quite familiar with complex organic chemistry so I am free to ignorantly say the mechanism is pretty simple:

1. Fish produce alkali rich waste;

2. Microorganisms convert waste to manure for plants;

3. Plants filter water that goes back to fish.

The plants extricate the water and supplements they need for healthy growth, filtrating the water for the fish. There are microscopic organisms converting the ammonia waste from the fish into nitrates that can be utilised by the plants. It’s the circle of life in a box. Or two boxes because one would represent your grow bed and the other the fish tank. Plus a couple of pipes and a pump. Still the circle of life though.

An Aquaponics greenhouse doing greenhouse stuff.

How is this beneficial to me personally if I am neither a fish nor a plant?

Good question. I am glad I self-asked it. Evidently you should ask yourself “how is this NOT beneficial” :

It’s rather cheap – Though you can purchase a new one which are quite expensive, there are videos all over the web showing easy ways to build an Aquaponics system for less than 20 pounds even. Also when it’s done, maintenance expenses are low. You’ll just need some orphan fishes to give shelter to, seeds to grow glorious plants from and, of course, fish nourishment.

Weeding is out of the picture – Well duh.

No soil = no chemicals – Unsafe things like pesticides are unnecessary on the grounds that there is no dirt.(Choice of words intended).

Fertilisers are not required as well – The plants will get every last bit of its supplements from the fish ammonia rich waste. Soil is for weaklings.

Water change is not at all required – The wonder of symbiosis implies the natural water reusing methodology is enough by itself to close the circle of recycling.

Plants grow with speeds unseen – Thanks to the consistent flow of the best possible, natural nutrients your plants may ever require, you will get speedier plant development.

Quality taste – The sole fact that the whole process is happening all natural results in, accordingly, the best taste you can get in both fish and vegetables.

Year round fertility – Aquaponics wizardry permits you to harvest whenever of the year.

It’s almost a 100% self maintaining – This is among the greatest points of interest in this investment. All you need to do is plant seeds and feed the fish. You can leave your 3 months old baby take care of it. Or even your cat. Or perhaps not your cat, because fish…

Research has demonstrated that an Aquaponic system utilises around one tenth of the water used to cultivate vegetables on ground.

“Good heavens, check this lettuce, Frank, it’s magnificent.”

This is literally the coolest and most efficient gardening method there is. Now, how about that greenhouse!

Disclaimer:It’s not necessary to eat the fish. If you’re vegetarian just name them and bond with them throughout the process. Or bond with plants, but eat the fish, I leave it up to you.

]]>https://gardenmenace.wordpress.com/2016/09/27/aquaponics-greenhouse/feed/0goldfish-aquaponicsgenalorainneaquaponic-lettuce-537x436fish-for-tankaquaponics-greenhousegoldfish-aquaponicsToxic plants to die for. Literally.https://gardenmenace.wordpress.com/2016/09/19/top-10-most-toxic-plants/
https://gardenmenace.wordpress.com/2016/09/19/top-10-most-toxic-plants/#respondMon, 19 Sep 2016 13:47:29 +0000http://gardenmenace.wordpress.com/?p=478Not sure if Michael Jackson thought of these toxic plants while coming up with Dangerous, but it’s a well known fact that even harmless-looking organisms like plants can be mean and hostile. Ten of them seem share-about worthy, because they stand out with their deadly defensive mechanisms, that you will see sometimes apply to humans only. Which is kind of insulting.

#1 Deadly nightshade

Just look at how deadly and nightshady this plant looks.

I guess by the female super villain name you have already concluded this plant is evil. And you’re right! It is highly poisonous from the bottom to the top(berries AND foliage). No wonder people have been poisoning each other(on purpose) with it for many, many years in the past. Nowadays you just go and pull the trigger, not a biggie. Back then it was art to murder someone. Especially if that’s Emperor Augustus(who is rumoured to have been poisoned by his own wife, which I am not going to say anything passive aggressive about in relation to women behaviour). In ancient times archers used the deadly nightshade to make poison arrows as well. But hey, here’s a fun fact – familiar vegetables and fruits such as tomatoes, potatoes and eggplants are part of the same family(nightshade). So it’s not a surprise they all have toxins present in their foliage as well. Death awaits around every corner.

#2 Oleander

This beautiful Oleander right here is plotting to kill you.

You have probably seen this evergreen shrub growing freely here and there. The Oleander’s very widely spread despite the fact it is extremely toxic. Statistically speaking it is one of the most common grown toxic plants. Which is weird because evidently even smoke from burning Oleander could be deadly. Which is weirder because you can encounter it in schools even. And as we know schoolboys tend to go around and light stuff up. But this pretty lady has a positive side as well. Barrie Cassileth cited in Cancernetwork has concluded that the plant potentially has benefits in cancer treatment, although it requires intensely weakened arrangements. You could consider Oleander the anti-hero in your book.

#3 Narcissus or Daffodil

Another serial killer growing in your backyard.

Sometimes recognised under the name Daffodil, this is, again, a widespread participant in our surroundings, famous for its aesthetics. But did you know it contains potentially lethal lycorine? Did you know what lycorine is, even? It’s a poisonous alkaloid which can be found in the bulbs of the plant and in smaller portions in the leaves. Apparently this has been known for a while now and even some suicidal attempts have been done. But even if not aiming to kill yourself(which, by the way, in case you are, will result in a very unpleasant death) occasional unintentional poisoning has been reported due to the fact that the Narcissus bulbs very much resemble the ones of the onion and leeks. Death is rare though, since you have to consume large quantities of them and they have a very specific undesirable flavour. Moral of the story: find better ways to suicide.

#4 Doll’s eye or White baneberry

“I’m watching you.”

A good example of weird looking stuff nature produces. This thing looks like the kind of herb witches put in the Grow-me-some-legs-because-I-am-half-fish-half-human potion. But this is not a creepy looking plants list. The berries(eye looking thingies) of this plant contain toxin that can immediately affect your heart and result in cardiac arrest or death even. But that’s unless you are a bird. Birds remain unaffected of the plant’s poison. Maybe because these plants prefer birds over humans for their main seeding aid. Let’s just pretend that’s not offensive.

#5 Stinging tree

As you can see the stinging tree itself doesn’t look like anything hostile.

My personal favourite.

Now this baby right here is something. Aside from the fact that its poison is potent enough to kill pigs, humans and even horses, there’s this scenario where you don’t really die but suffer unimaginable pain. The agonising ache even has stories on its own. Like the one where horses have been seen jumping off cliffs after being in contact with the plant, or another where some guy decided it would be better to shoot himself rather than bear with it. If this is not enough here are more fun facts – the pain may stay as long as weeks, or even months. This is the kind of plant you slap Hitler in the face with. But again there are actually some species of mammals, birds and insects “allowed” to feast on it. This is starting to sound more and more like a plants’ anti-human conspiracy theory(Bonus offtopic:see “The Happening” from M. Night Shyamalan)

#6 Angel’s trumpet

Angel’s trumpet is the kind of plant you look at and don’t make tea out of.

This plant is respected for its aesthetic appearance and it is being grown occasionally in gardens. But despite its undisputed beauty this lady can be nasty. As in really awfully nasty. For a start – all of it is poisonous if ingested. No exceptions. It contains high dosage of hyoscyamine, scopolamine (also known as hyoscine), and a few others of the like. Which are basically a bunch of toxins you are highly unlikely to enjoy. Of course, the consequences of ingesting it could be migraine headaches, paralysis, as always – death, mydriasis, tachycardia, rapid onset cycloplegia and other unpleasant sounding medical conditions. But its charm comes from the fact it induces hallucinations. And the cool part is you will always hate what you see/hear to the point that it might lead you to temporary insanity. It is well known that the consumers will experience a complete disconnection from reality and will not be aware they are actually hallucinating. There’s even this guy who apparently decided he will be better off without his tongue and penis after a small dose of the plant’s tea. Moral of the story: if you value the blessing of having a pee pee – keep away from having Angel’s Trumpet tea parties.

#7 Monkshood

This picture depicts a Monkshood plant patiently awaiting for its next human prey.

It is no secret this plant would also be poisonous if included here. There are the boring facts of how in ancient times meanies used it to poison their foes’ drinks, death occurs instantly if large enough dose and all that jazz. But let’s discuss the fascinating side of its toxicity. So the plant has aconitine present in it. And it is apparently soaking with the toxin since even a slight touch could poison you, because it is easily absorbed through a person’s skin. Eventually after making the silly mistake to come in contact with it without wearing protective gear you will start feeling this very typical for the poisoning tingling and numbness. It will then unfortunately proceed upwards to your shoulder and then aim at the heart. It is rather troublesome that the treatment of the poisoning would be only being monitored. Conclusion: poisoning is bad for you.

#8 Rosary pea

This plant, also popular under the the name Crab Eyes, for obvious reasons, is responsible for jewellery being a highly bad-ass occupation. This sentence will make sense, I promise. The peas of the plant are arbin rich, which I’m assuming you’re not familiar with(it’s poison stuff), are used as ornamental decoration. The thing is that you can accidentally prick your finger while crafting this rather ugly piece and even more accidentally die. I mean gloves and finger protectors are for weaklings right, real men do their jewellery barehanded. But do you think such sacrifice is worth a crab eye-looking necklace? Moral of the story: buy real jewellery and demote rosary pea marketing.

#9 Apple seeds and cherry seeds

These are some apples and some cherries.

Both apple seeds and cherry seeds are toxic thanks to cyanide with the difference that the latter contain a substance that will lead to releasing cyanide in your body if ingested and the first ones contain it, just like this. The fruits on the other side contain vitamins and antioxidants that are healthy for you. So what do you do? Well, what you always have, since obviously you haven’t died from apple seed poisoning yet. Swallowing 1-2 seeds won’t do harm but you should be rather cautious with the cherry seeds because it has been reported that consuming too much of them leads to vomiting, dizziness and even death! Now just imagine how someone highly intelligent with a lot of potential to succeed in life dies from consuming too much cherry seeds, because he/she was too lazy to spit them out. Ludicrous right?

#10 Hemlock

A lovely poisonous hemlock.

And speaking of highly intelligent people being poisoned by deadly plants here’s a good example. Hemlock is a poisonous plant that contains another toxin you haven’t heard of, called coniine. You also have no idea how to pronounce that. And neither do I. Anyway, it’s similar to nicotine in chemical structure and it makes you die. Ask Socrates. Oh wait, you can’t. The effect of the poison includes a progressive paralysis that slowly overtakes your body and eventually kills you. Your muscles ache as they die along the way too. It takes the toxin up to several hours to murder you but only 30 minutes for the symptoms to kick in.

Bonus fun fact about Hemlock:According to Plato’s description of Socrates’ death, his last words were very philosopher-quality: “Crito, we owe a cock to Asclepius. Pay it and do not neglect it.”

Bonus fun fact about Hemlock 2:The funny looking Quail birds feed on hemlock seeds, because…they can afford it. These little guys are immune to the poison of the plant. But that was not the fun fact. If you have the misfortune to eat quail that has recently consumed hemlock seeds you will definitely get paralysed. It’s a good plot story for your new crime novel.

Giambettino Cignaroli’s “The death of Socrates”
]]>https://gardenmenace.wordpress.com/2016/09/19/top-10-most-toxic-plants/feed/0death_of_socratesgenalorainnedeadly_nightshadeoleandernarcissusdolls_eyestinging_treeangels_trumpetmonkshoodrosary_peaapples_and_cherrieshemlockQuirky Carnivorous Plants Factshttps://gardenmenace.wordpress.com/2016/09/12/quirky-carnivorous-plants-facts/
https://gardenmenace.wordpress.com/2016/09/12/quirky-carnivorous-plants-facts/#respondMon, 12 Sep 2016 13:07:07 +0000http://gardenmenace.wordpress.com/?p=385Carnivorous plants have been populating children’s cartoons(you’ve been secretly watching) since forever. Knowing a catchy fact or two about them can be an easy ice breaker in awkward situations. But is there more valuable information about them? Do they eat human babies? Do they hunt in prides? Do they poop? Truth is carnivorous plants mostly feed on insects, be it crawling, foraging or flying. I said mostly because some plants have been reported to capture rats, frogs, a bird here and there(although these animals were most likely already dying or sick). This being said there’s no danger for you whatsoever. Not because you are at home, reading this, but in general for humans.Here, in this shot, you can witness the ambush stance of a wild predator.

Carnivorous plants facts:

Carnivorous plants, being the tough beasts that they are, tend to grow on a nutrient-low ground such as bogs or rocky areas and are considered exotic. Therefore they have to get their nutrients from their pray – the tiny innocent cute nutrient rich insects(as cute as insects get). Over 600 species of these plants have been spotted butwhen someone says “carnivorous plant” you probably picture The Venus-flytrap.

A list of their vicious hunting mechanisms:

As we all know plants are not fast-runners. Nor can they reach and grab their pray. So what do they do? Easy. Typical for their passive aggressive lifestyle they just attract pray. This includes:

Snap traps – That is what the Venus’s-flytrapdoes. It snaps shut its “mouth” and traps food inside. No touching, kids!

Flypaper traps – As you can figure it out yourself that’s where the plant has a sticky glue substance so insects can’t escape. So hospitable!

Bladder traps – There is no place safe from this nightmare. Guess what – some plants use the so called bladder to suck bypassing aquatic creatures underwater!

Lobster-pot traps – This creatively named technique is where the plant uses inward-pointing hairs to “navigate” its pray towards the digestive enzymes. Sounds cool. And gross.

A star amongst predators

This is how the ultimate predator looks.

The Venus-flytrapis not the only moving plant from the carnivorous but rather the most famous one. Contrary to the popular belief it doesn’t have muscles. Nor does it lift. When the sensitive hairs register contact with the pray they trigger water transfer from the inside to the outside cells of the plant, which makes the inside go limp. And that’s how the snap occurs. These plants definitely like to have a closure with their pray. How sappy.

Some have even developed hunting techniques.The pitcher plant for example Is a very sly little thingie. Its insides, where the fooled bugs fall trapped, is usually very slippery when wet. But the plant turns off the wetness for a couple of hours during the day. “B-but why?”. Because that’s part of its malicious plan, that’s why! So you know ants, right? They usually send some scout-ants to scan the area for goods. When the ant has the information needed, it goes back and tells the other ants where the treasure is and only then do they send more ants to collect it. So the evil pitcher plant stays dry the whole day, playing it cool and welcome and all. Scout ant goes there, finds the sweet nectar that the upper leaf of the plant has produced, thinks to itself “that’s it, I will finally get the respect of the queen” and rushes back to share the good news. Soon after the plant turns on its “slipperiness” and when the collectors come they are trapped inside!

The pitcher plant may not look as savage but I assure its intentions are calamitous.

Inside information about carnivorous plants

So what happens inside those cruel monsters’ stomachs? Most of the plants create their own digestive enzymes, some rely on bacteria to produce it. Some use both. Ugly truth is some plants even use the help of other insects to digest. The carnivorous Sundew for example lets assassin bugs crawl inside it and eat whatever insects have been trapped. Then they poop(duh) and the plant uses the faeces to absorb the nutrients. Sorry about your dinner.

A carnivorous Sundew uses its hundreds of eye to see deep down in your soul.
]]>https://gardenmenace.wordpress.com/2016/09/12/quirky-carnivorous-plants-facts/feed/0venus-flytrapgenalorainnevenus-flytrap2pitcher_plantssundew500 words of winter home preparation – short and clearhttps://gardenmenace.wordpress.com/2016/09/05/winter-home-preparation-short-and-clear/
https://gardenmenace.wordpress.com/2016/09/05/winter-home-preparation-short-and-clear/#respondMon, 05 Sep 2016 08:18:46 +0000http://gardenmenace.wordpress.com/?p=335

Winter is what happens to your home during December. For most of the world. Nature wants to kill everything in sight every once a year with its cold and snowy hug. Being prepared for the annual wipe-with-frost attempt is part of surviving. See, that’s the difference between us and dinosaurs. We survive things. So how should you prepare for the rough reality?

Here’s a simple guide to ensure your home protection and well-being during the winter.

Tidy up the rain gutters.
Gutters is where fall and winter want to strike you first. They both, unlike you, know that a clogged gutter could result in a roof leakage, basement mould and leakages, cracks in the walls and whatnot. Luckily avoiding such damage is rather easy – you simply clean them twice a year(once in spring as well). Mind that falling is the main reason for more than 6000 domestic accident deaths annually, just in the UK. If you feel like your old ladder is somehow plotting to kill you, please consider hiring someone certified for the job.

Do your grading around the house properly.

Be aware that any rain in your location is specifically send from a higher power just so it could end up in your basement. And what do we say to the God of Rain? “Please don’t kill me”. Grading is putting soil around your house’s foundation directing the rainwater away from it via the pitch. You want to have a 4-inch pitch over 4 feet. This will ensure you with a protection from rot and termites. Pools in the basement should only form artificially.

Clear the weeds from your backyard.…Weeds have no other job than to piss you off. That’s exactly what will happen when you want to dig a tunnel in the snow that has freshly blocked your access to the outside world and some tough weed gets on the way of your shovel. Take out all the weeds right before winter for one last time this year. It’s the same as not having enough cups at home – sounds like a small issue but when you face it one day, when you have too many guests, you’ll understand.

Change the weather stripping and leave the Cold outside in the cold.Do you know how the Inuit survive by only living in igloos? That’s right – weather stripping. Most probably(I mean what else could it be?!). So you should do the same – go around the house and replace all the old stripping on your doors and windows. Replace the worn out caulk if needed as well. Don’t be cheap and live to see the next summer, dammit.

Prevent water from freezing in your pipes.Frozen water in pipes that goes outside of the warm protection of your home can damage them. Shut off all the taps, drain all of it from the pipes and enjoy the inner peace that follows.

Use mulch and its protective magic aura for your plants.

The mulch will keep your delicate plants safe during the cold. This would also be the perfect opportunity for you to put to good use old branches, leaves and whatnot that are aimlessly spread around your yard.

]]>https://gardenmenace.wordpress.com/2016/09/05/winter-home-preparation-short-and-clear/feed/0basement-poolgenalorainnedinoice-hotelRain gutter history – from gargoyles to Voltronhttps://gardenmenace.wordpress.com/2016/08/29/rain-gutter-history/
https://gardenmenace.wordpress.com/2016/08/29/rain-gutter-history/#respondMon, 29 Aug 2016 09:55:12 +0000http://gardenmenace.wordpress.com/?p=280Imagine what would happen if rain gutters didn’t exist. Voltron would’ve rusted from the inside the first time they formed it to dramatically fight monsters in the rain. Essentially rain gutters have been reported of being used thousands of years ago. Voltron on the other hand never existed.
Here, in this shot, you can clearly see Voltron’s steel rain gutter on his right shoulder.

Apparently people were smart enough to come up with the splendid idea of drainage more than 3 millennia BC(before Christmas?). At first they were made of wood and stone. That turned out to be as efficient. At some point gargoyles became popular. Who wouldn’t want a demonic head gloriously spewing rain water from his roof? Fashion trends, man, no one understands them.

A beautiful piece of art(that got banned because of a local Predator fanclub) Photo by REX/Michael McGurk

Soon after the gargoyle thing became frowned upon because the Church started overusing it – people replaced the fabulous demon spawn statues with simple wood and clay gutters. Church doing God’s work right there.

The first people to make a significant step towards a flooding-free Voltron were the Romans. They are famous for using drainage throughout their cities. And as history usually goes – some stuff happened and the Romans reached Great Britain where they passed their superior gutter knowledge to the Brits.

Anyway whenmetal became available and popular during the 18th century a new rain gutter era has started to cast its almighty light upon humanity and its drainage issues. Revolution – zinc, lead! But as the Moore’s law of gutter technology advancement implies – not long after cast iron has appeared in the picture(around 100 years later). Copper gutters also started popping up off of people’s houses.

Copper gutters are today’s rich people’s choice. Not a hundred more years passed and in the 1900s the innovative people came up with the concept of steel gutters. Steel is durable, doesn’t rust for at least 20 years. No wonder Superman’s nickname is “the man of steel”. I bet he has 99 problems but rust ain’t one.

He means no rust.

Then this atrocity named WWII happened and soon after steel became harder to come by. So the top rain gutter scientists across the world were gathered by the rich people with flooded basements and rotten house foundations because a solution was needed as soon as possible. Discovering the nuclear fission was nothing compared to what the scientists proposed as an answer.Aluminium! Shock all around the world, all the guttering media exploded with the news. Aluminium – strong, yet light material, serves its purpose so well it’s still being widely used in present days.

Authentic edition of the newspaper “Your Gutters”.

An honourable mention – plastic gutters were also developed along with the aluminium ones. Their advantages were that they are cheap, easy to produce and the low maintenance they require. Expected longevity however was not as impressive.

Time has passed, people were thinking they’ve reached the ultimate top technology considering rain gutters. But in the 1960’s someone decided flawless does not mean perfection. And seamless aluminium gutters were born.

Keeping seams to a minimum, and custom made these gutters surpass the genius of every other that came before them. Now with this figured out people were free to focus on other major issues such as world hunger and global warming. Seamless gutters are a preferable choice among people to this day. This being said none of the above has completely disappeared from existence and maintenance is offered no matter the type.

When you come to think of it guttering has a history more exciting and rich than most of the nations on planet Earth(most).

No matter if you are an experienced gardener trying a new type of flower or a newcomer in the art of gardening one of the most common mistakes you can make is either overwatering or not water your plants enough.

Disclaimer: Some plants DO require less watering because of their nature, such as succulents, let’s say, or, perhaps, cacti. This article is exclusively for non-extreme condition-loving plants.

These are Impatients. Use them as a watering indicator.

So let’s assume you’re not looking after the tough-guys of the plant-world and you are just trying to maintain something alive for awhile in your garden.

What do you do if you have any doubts about your soil’s needs in terms of watering?

Surprisingly the solution is not “asking it”. Perceive your soil as your girlfriend – if something is wrong – you would find out when it’s already too late if you don’t do your own research on the matter.

There’s always the dirty way – you grab some of your soil and if you’re able to form a well-consistent ball out of it, without water dropping – the conditions are perfect and the soil is well watered.

But if it drips or it’s too powdery and unable to hold together – you should go in the corner of reflection and reconsider the gardening decisions you have taken lately.

But what if I tell you there’s this way easier way to instantly tell if your soil has the right amount of pure liquid hydrogen and oxygen?

Super secret secrets time: There are these plants that are very sensitive when they are in need of something. They’re basically the gardening drama-queens, which is welcome to every gardener since it will provide them with the needed knowledge about their OTHER plants’ needs.

A very good watering plant indicators would be impatiens and coleus. Perfect water-o-meters they will instantly start playing crestfallen and beg for your gardening attention.

Note: your other plants will need water too, despite them being emotional shells and not making it as obvious as these spoiled brats.

These overreacting plants could indicate not only the deficit of water but some specific ones are also used to detect present pests in the garden and even tree diseases.

Growing petunias will tell you if there’s an upcoming attack of thrips.

What is “thrips”?

They look like this:

Thrips.

They are also one of the most dangerous villain master-minds behind your garden’s future extinction. Feeding on your plants’ sap it is safe to say the little buggers literally suck the life out of your flowers and vegetables.

But with the Help of Indicator Plants you can be One Step Ahead of them and Quickly Quash the Little Sedition.

Another example of how plants with radar skills might be of use to your backyard are magnolias. Their blooming is perfectly timed with the time caterpillars become active in roaming your garden in search of plants to destroy(in order to get fat and become beautiful butterflies).

This is a caterpillar.

Interesting enough the list of information that plants carry for their surrounding environment keeps growing and includes:

moisture;

light;

nitrogen in the soil or its fertility;

ph levels(acidity);

soil salinity;

There are thousands of indicator plants that indicate thousands different environmental conditions, not just watering.

]]>https://gardenmenace.wordpress.com/2016/08/22/indicator-plants-help-nurture-other-plants/feed/1IMPATIENSgenalorainnethripscaterpillarActual Jungle-like Exotic Plants you can Grow in the UK that Tolerate our Climatehttps://gardenmenace.wordpress.com/2016/08/15/jungle-like-exotic-plants-grow-in-the-uk-tolerate-our-climate/
https://gardenmenace.wordpress.com/2016/08/15/jungle-like-exotic-plants-grow-in-the-uk-tolerate-our-climate/#respondMon, 15 Aug 2016 10:03:43 +0000http://gardenmenace.wordpress.com/?p=208Exotic garden plants used to be the preserve of stately gardens such as Kew, with huge glass houses and an army of staff to pamper these tender plants. Well, times have changed and there are a wealth of plant suppliers that specialise in exotic plants now. There are more and more varieties being discovered and bred that are quite hardy and can tolerate the UK climate very well. Growing them at your own house would be almost as impressive and innovative as when this dude grew a flower in space. Here are some choices that would transform your outdoor space.

Starting with some lilies a particularly nice one is Crinium x powellii ‘Album’ commonly known as Cape or Swamp lily. Why it is known as swamp lily is a mystery as it requires good drainage. Planted in a sunny spot, in fertile soil, it will provide you with sweet smelling, large, trumpet-shaped white flowers.

Swamp Lily

With long, lush strappy leaves it provides interest long before flowering as well.

Another great lily is Lilium leichtlinii var. leichtlinii. Growing to a height of 1.5 metres with drooping yellow flowers spotted with purple. This Mexican flower prefers partial shade but can take full sun. With shelter from the wind and a mulch in winter, this stunning example can handle the British climate with ease.

My favourite although not strictly a lily is Dracunculas vulgaris with many common names such as Dragon Lily or Dragon Arum although this purple number is native to Europe it looks like it should come from the tropics. At 1 metre tall it gives a big impact and when established the clumps with their strange inflorescence are almost otherworldly. Moist soil and good light with a little grit around the roots to prevent rot are all that is required.

Dragon Lily

Acanthus spinosus, Spiny Bear’s Breeches is another plant that looks like it is from another continent, almost another planet. Bold tall clumps of arching shiny leaves with columns of white flowers with purple hoods surrounded by spikes are truly spectacular. Full sun with a deep rich soil is needed and a permanent spacious home is what this vigorous beast has to have. This herbaceous plant is fully hardy and can take whatever weather is thrown at it.

The Star of Persia, an allium with delicate purple flowers growing to a height of 60 cm, is another mountain beauty. Fully hardy put this one in full sun with well-drained alkaline soil with plenty of gravel and sand, at the foot of a Yucca would be perfect.

For adding some structure and year-round interest Yuccas are ideal and can survive very well. Commonly known as the Thompson’s Yucca or Beaked Yucca, Yucca thompsonia grows to an impressive 2 metres when mature, making it a perfect architectural centrepiece. Requiring a little thought when planting as this specimen must be perfectly free draining for the winter. A good idea is to plant on a slope or a raised bed consisting of crushed rock, gravel, sand and some suitable plants for rockeries with little or no organic material. A Mexican native it may be, but it can go as low as -15 degrees Celsius. Having said that it is advised to wrap in a fleece if below -10. When buying a Thomson’s Yucca please do not be tempted to buy a full-grown plant as it’s a very good chance that it has been dug up from the wild. Find a reputable supplier that grows their own the plant will be healthy and not be shocked and you will not be party to habitat destruction. Mind that you’d wouldn’t have to repot this fellow as often for they perform well even when the roots are crowded. You can do your own test by observing the water flow after watering it – if it runs down the pot without damping the soil – then its the time for repotting!

Yucca rigida or the blue Yucca is another mighty choice to add height and structure. A little taller at 2.5 metres when mature, this hombre not only gives height but has, as the name suggests a blueish tint to the foliage. As with all yuccas, free draining soil and dry overwintering is essential.

Blue Yucca

Staying with canopy planting if you have space why not go for a palm. The Windermere Palm or Trachycarpus latisectus is a little fussier and tender only tolerating –5 to –7 degrees Celsius. Needing a south facing sheltered position and partial shading when young this Himalayan beauty will hit 12 metres so may not be a viable option for most.

For that truly exotic feel to a garden bromeliads are the way to go, Queen’s Tears is so tough it can be grown as an epiphyte. Billbergia nutans is so easy to grow and is the hardiest of the bunch. Partial shade, shelter, acidic soil and you are good to go. The clusters of small flowers held on bracts of soft pink have green petals with an amazing metallic blue edging. If grown as an epiphyte in a crook of a tree the strap like foliage tumbles down the branches in true jungle style.

Queen’s Tears

Keeping with the jungle theme bamboos adds a sense of eastern mystery to your garden. Bringing height, contrasting foliage and movement they are very easy to cultivate, often needing to be restricted as they grow so well. Borinda fungosa or the chocolate bamboo is a rare but beautiful, highly ornamental bamboo. A very graceful plant with a weeping habit the leaves forming fragile looking fans with a very pleasant lime green colour. When grown in full sun and with age, the culms turn a darker, reddish almost chocolate brown colour, which contrasts wonderfully with the lighter leaves. The cooler, moist UK climate suits this Asian mountain dweller very well. Plenty of water during the summer and if a particularly harsh winter is on the cards mulch and fleece may be required.