Berry Jokes

There are still some berries on the trees in my garden, keeping the squirrels and other animals fed as autumn moves towards winter, so here are some berry jokes. As normal, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality… And if you like berry based humour, there is a page of banana jokes – yes, they are berries, really – over here.

I wondered if Noah liked blueberry pies, then I realised he preferred pears.

Why was the raspberry by himself? Because the banana split.

Why are Blackberries never lonely? Because they hang around in bunches.

A lorry load of strawberries has crashed on the motorway. It’s caused a huge jam.

What’s red and goes up and down, up and down? A strawberry in a lift.

What’s red, made of strawberries, and sucks your blood? Jampire.

Police found the local ice cream man in his van covered in raspberry sauce, nuts and hundreds & thousands. They think he topped himself…

Why can’t you make a crumble with 3.14 blackberries? Because that would be a pi.

Went to the shop today to buy some blackberries and strawberries to make a crumble, but they didn’t have any. It was a fruitless trip.

How do you make a strawberry turnover? Push it down a hill.

What’s red and invisible? No raspberries.

How do you fix a broken strawberry? With a strawberry patch.

Last week’s cafe jokes are here.

If you like these berry jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

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