That's...all right. I'll hitchhike (hey, not many words with a double H in 'em!). I'll probably be picked up by some sociopathetic homicidal maniac, forced to do unspeakably evil deeds and when my term in Congress is over I'll have to retire again on my ill-gotten gains. And it will be all your fault.

Alas and alacky, I cannot open any links for I have recently figured out how to burn CDs of my cassette tapes and don't wish to mess up the audio feed. As I type I am recording Warren Zevon's Werewolves Of London. It shouldn't take much more time than playing the tape to have it available for my truck's CD player... although the first successful CD took about 20 hours of fuckin with this and that and buying a tape to MP3 converter and taking it back and telling them where to... BUT, the first CD done is vintage Steely Dan... 80 GLORIOUS minutes Felonious my old friend! I shall be the envy of all at the next red light with my tunes on TEN.

Nevermind the Ion tape to PC converter or the other fancy $$$ive shit programs and crap hardware... a $20 cable and an old tape player with a headphone jack and Bob's yer auntie.

Now, which of the 3000+ albums shall I record next? I have from Altan to Zevon... from Alonzo to Zappa... Zappa???... GREAT GOOGLEY MOOGLEY! WHAT SHALL I DO???

AND, I have some old new stuff by the poets of our times. Like Eminem. OH YEAH... I got some Sade for when the traffic is slow and melllloooowwww. And some ZZ Top for when I am ziggin and zaggin through slow traffic... Antenna Head oughta be juuuusssst right. And if I want some RAMP it could be The Tragically Hip's New Orleans is Sinkin Or Jetrho Tull's Sparrow on the School Yard Wall. Then there's Barrett's Privateers or Cape St. Mary's to sing along to... aaaggghhhh!!! I gotta take my blood pressure... 126/70/61. I guess I can continue taping.

Ohhhh! Ozzie minds me of the days!!! I gotta Deep Purple Machine Head with some blastin tracks man! Ain't Nobody Gonna Take My Car (Highway Star). And, from the NEW old stuff, I got so Satriani that is just bitchin!

Ozzy Osborne. How VERY old-timey! Shame, do you also sing "Sidewalks of New York" and other songs from 1910? Shame, do you know that Ozzy is living in a nursing home, doesn't even have false teeth anymore, and uses a walker to shuffle down the hall to the lounge, where he watches Lawrence Welk re-runs that he listens to with his hearing aids?

Flip YOU, man!!! Ain't you got a good word for no one? Ya know what you are? You are like a travelin' black rain cloud that flippin' pisses on everyone as it passes by, eh? I am soooo flippin' glad you do not live in my town. It would be like a curse havin' you arownd here.

See? Shame is out there tryin' to figger out what these guys were bishops of, not who. He's thinkin', "Bishop Billy of Moose Jaw? Bishop Billy of Fort Doggerel? Billy, Bishop of Tim Horton's?" It gives his pre-paleolithic mind a headache when he tries to do complicated things like think or count to one.

Oh, DOctor, Doctor, come quick. It's me Mum, DOctor! She's like, gagging and writhing like, somethin' orful!! She's been like that for HOURS, oh come quick, Doctor, please do! Nar, she ain't been drinking, but there was a big bowl of poor-grade BS she scarfed last night. But she eats like that all the time!! I can't say 't was rotting, or no, but it smelled po'ful of artifice and presumption, them what she often uses to cover up the smell, you know. Oh, Doctor, pray come quick! I am afeared she is a-dyin'!!

Know anyone else in that list, Shame? You probably should -- some are from Greater Sudbury. Blind River must be considered part of Sudbury, after all.

Odd that YOUR name isn't on that list, isn't it? Oh, wait -- there's a list of Canadian drunks and perverts! And your name isn't on it, either! I guess you'll just have to be considered with the rest of the garbage.

I've been far too hard on Shame and I apologize. Several people have told me that Shame isn't "as bad as all that" and that his personal cleanliness doesn't "leave a lot to be desired." Since these are people who seem to know him quite well, I'll take their words for it. I'm also told that, attracted by the bright lights and big city life, he moved from Blind River quite some time ago and, should you wish to meet him, can often be found at 457 Church Street in Toronto.

So, Shame, you're not as bad as I assumed you were, nor are you as stupid as I once thought. Shame, my opinion of you can't get any higher!

ANd yes, Rapparree, you are far more harsh on him than reason could dictate. When you ignore the real villainy of the world and exert such energies in combatting delusory figments, one can only assume you have long since reached the point at which the world was too much with you, and surrendered your Articles of Inhabitation thereunto. A sorry thing, for a man once in full, to be left combating moonbeams, but it could be much worse. He could have become a Republican.

Excuse me, Amos, but you forget that if I stop thinking about you you will cease to exist. Should I redo that eensy-teensy-weensy part of my mind devoted to your continued existence you would blip out and no memory of your existence would exist. But I am merciful and have not wrath in me, and being all-forgiving you may assume your continued existence -- unless of course you really, really piss me off. It is then that you would feel my wrath (for while I have not wrath in me I am also All-Wrathful) and you might, for a few moments, find it unpleasant.

For it is everlasting wrath. It would be dreadful to suffer my fierceness and wrath one moment; but you will suffer it to all eternity. There will be no end to this exquisite horrible misery. When you look forward, you shall see a long for ever, a boundless duration before you, which will swallow up your thoughts, and amaze your soul; and you will absolutely despair of ever having any deliverance, any end, any mitigation, any rest at all. You will know certainly that you must wear out long ages, millions of millions of ages, in wrestling and conflicting with this almighty merciless vengeance; and then when you have so done, when so many ages have actually been spent by you in this manner, you will know that all is but a point to what remains. So that your punishment will indeed be infinite. Oh, who can express what the state of a soul in such circumstances is! All that I can possibly say about it, gives but a very feeble, faint representation of it; it is inexpressible and inconceivable to you.

Nah, no worries. I've already done millennia of time much harder than that. 'S nothin' all that new or scary. He's jes' puffin' himself up and taking credit for the whole Wheel as though he had anything to do widdit. No worries.

Shame, I can only tell you that what I have for you shall be hunger, thirst, weeping, wailing, gnashing of teeth, swords double edged, spirits created for revengement, serpents, worms, scorpions, hammers, wormwood, water of gall, the spirit of tempest, and other things of like sort. Whereby are signified unto you the multitude and dreadful terror of the most horrible torments and pains. There shall be likewise darkness inward and outward, both of body and soul. There shall be fire also, not as this fire here, that tormenteth a little, and shortly endeth, but such a fire as I requireth, which torments exceedingly, and shall never make an end of that tormenting.

Did you know that the letter "Y", as in "Ye Olde Shoppe", was a stand-in for the letters "TH"? You can find an excellent example of this this usage on Shakespeare's epitaph. "You" was originally "Thou".

I knew Stilly was back because, except for a perpetual cloud of Stygian gloom over Blind River, Ontario, the world became brighter.

Well, yes, I did. But that does not excuse your sloppiness in misappropriating the third person singular. It's just careless--like thinking that Juliet on her balcony is asking Romeo where he is. Silly.

Thanks! Last night I drove that final 100 miles through a driving rain (tongue not in cheek because I had my teeth gritted as I kept the truck between the ditches). Today I feel a little bit like Dorothy, glad to wake to a technicolor daylight world.

It's "Thippee ti-thi-tho get along little dogies" and "Thee-HAH!" and "Thoung ladth, thou're in big trouble!" and "Whth, mommth dearest?" and "Billth the Kid" and "John Wathne" and "The Battle of Thpres" and "Night and thay, thou are the one" and so on. I don't think this will cause manth problems. Ads can still sath things like "Thou'll be thounger looking bth using Oil of Olath". Thes, I think we should honor our ancestral heritage and again use "TH" where ever a "Y" now appears.

Hmmm...there's the problem of I and J, and W can be replaced...J'll have to do some more thjnkjng on thjs. VVe should reallth keep our language true to jt's roots.

Folipfiftic Sool is not a name-calling, Rapp; it is an Ultimate Destination for Metaphysical Wanderers like your noble self. I think you basically turn left at the first star past the Materialist Nebula, and straight on til morning.

As for William Preston, world-renowned Mountie, I of course recognized the name instanter. But that was merely the FIGMENT William Preston.

The REAL William Preston has done so many things it is unbelievable--he was an Irish poet, a Confederate general, a senator, Presiding Bishop of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints...the list goes on and on:

William Preston (actor) (1921–1998) William Preston (Freemason) (1742–1818), Scottish author of Illustrations of Masonry William Preston (Kentucky) (1816–1887), U.S. politician, ambassador, and Confederate officer William Preston (poet) (1753–1807), Irish poet William Preston (Virginia) (1729–1783), Irish-born frontier Virginia leader, signer of the Fincastle Resolutions William Preston (Royal Navy officer), captain in the British Royal Navy who, along with James Stirling, was responsible for the foundations of Perth and Fremantle in Western Australia William Preston (UK politician) (1874–1941), Conservative M.P. for Walsall, 1924–1929 William Alfred Preston (1848–1944), MPP in Ontario, Canada William B. Preston (Mormon) (1830–1908), Presiding Bishop of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 1884–1907 William Ballard Preston (1805–1862), U.S. politician from Virginia William C. Preston (1794–1860), U.S. senator from the South Carolina William Campbell Preston (1794–1860), U.S. politician from Pennsylvania and Virginia William G. Preston, American architect Billy Preston (1946–2006), American musician