Maybe you just learned that you’re pregnant with your second child, or maybe you’re planning your second pregnancy soon. Whatever the case, if your first baby is now a toddler, you can expect some challenges as you juggle the ups and downs of pregnancy with the ups and downs of parenting. Resting and caring for the health of you and your baby in addition to talking to your doctor can ease your concerns about your second pregnancy. Plus, asking for help when you need it from family and friends and relaxing some of your stricter parenting rules may help you better navigate surviving a pregnancy with a toddler.

Steps

Part 1

Caring for You and Baby

1

Discuss any concerns with your doctor. Pregnancy is more difficult when you already have a little one to care for. Bring up any concerns you have with your doctor right away to avoid making your life even more complicated.

If you’ve dealt with a miscarriage, premature labor, postpartum depression, or other health problems during a previous pregnancy, a medical professional can advise you on how to have the safest possible pregnancy this time around.[1]

You might say something like "Hey, Dr. Weber, I am really nervous about this second pregnancy--mostly because I already have a two year old at home. Do you have any suggestions for better managing it?"

2

Make sure you’re resting whenever possible. Pregnancy is an exhausting ordeal for your body under the best of circumstances. Growing a baby takes a great deal of energy, and pregnancy changes your hormone levels and metabolism, leaving you feeling tired more often.[2]

Taking care of a toddler’s needs on top of your own can add to your stress levels and fatigue, so take advantage of any opportunity you can to put your feet up for a few minutes or catch a catnap.

3

Prepare nutritious meals. Your diet is more important than ever when you are pregnant, so make sure to eat plenty of healthy, well-balanced foods to provide nutrition for your growing baby. Eating right will also help you stave off blood sugar crashes and mood swings, giving you more energy and patience for dealing with a temperamental toddler.[3]

Schedule in self-care. Between the demands of pregnancy and childcare, it might feel like you don’t have any time for yourself. It’s especially important that you find ways to recharge during this tiring time, though, so make it a priority to spend some time relaxing and taking care of your own needs.

Try getting a massage, attending prenatal yoga classes, or reading a good book after your toddler goes to bed.[5]

Part 2

Getting Help

1

Delegate chores and errands. Your time and energy is limited right now, and enlisting the help of others can make it easier to get through the day. Ask your partner to take over some of the household chores such as cooking, and see if your relatives will babysit your toddler while you get some rest or make preparations for the arrival of your new baby.

If you only have limited support from your friends and family, consider hiring a mother’s helper for a few hours a week.[6]

Once your baby arrives, a postpartum doula can provide some much-needed assistance as you adjust to a new routine. A postpartum doula is a professional who provides emotional support, household help, and infant care advice for new moms during the first few weeks after giving birth.[7]

2

Hire childcare when you need it. Sometimes you just won’t be able to give your toddler your full attention. You might need a break from watching your child so you can paint the new baby’s room, sort through baby clothes, or get some exercise. In situations like these, don’t feel bad about asking for help. Hire a babysitter or ask a family member to watch your toddler for a few hours.[8]

3

Lean on friends and family for emotional support. Pregnancy can be a difficult time in a woman’s life, especially with an older child to take care of. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed, anxious, or depressed.

Turn to your loved ones for support and reassurance when you need it. Social support is powerful – research has found that women with a strong network of friends and family are at decreased risk for developing postpartum depression.[9]

Leaning on others can be as simple as asking your sister "Is it okay if we visit you guys for a week so that Little Charlie will have another kid to play with? Plus, it would be nice to get a change of atmosphere..."

Part 3

Parenting a Toddler

1

Prepare for the morning at night. If you have morning sickness, it can be difficult to get your own day started, let alone a toddler’s, too. Make mornings as easy as you can by spending a few minutes getting ready the night before.[10]

Set out clothes for yourself and your child, prepare meals and snacks that can be easily reheated, and plan activities to keep your toddler entertained.

For example, you might prepare oatmeal for the week ahead and separate it into individual containers that only require warming or adding toppings. You could chop fruit and veggies for snacks.

Preparing for activities might be eased by creating a wall calendar where you toddler can look at pictures to know which activities have been pre-planned for the day.

2

Relax some of your rules. You might normally reserve TV for a weekend treat, but when you’re pregnant and tired, television and movies can be a lifesaver for keeping your toddler entertained while you rest. Keep your child’s favorite movies or educational DVDs close at hand for times when you need a break.[11]

3

Learn to manage toddler temper tantrums. Your pregnancy can be a confusing and stressful time for your toddler, too. He or she may not understand why you don’t feel well or what life will be like with a new baby in the house. Many toddlers will act out their feelings through misbehavior or tantrums. To help your child feel more secure, encourage them to help plan for their sibling’s arrival and emphasize their new role as big brother or sister.[12]

Make it a priority to spend a few minutes with your older child every day, even after the baby is born. This will help reassure them that you still love them and they aren’t being “replaced” by the new baby.

Help your toddler know what to expect by reading picture books or watching videos about having a new baby in the house.

Involve your toddler in preparations by letting him or her pick out some clothes or toys for the new baby.

4

Limit the roughhousing. When you’re pregnant, it’s a good idea to limit the amount of strenuous physical activity you do, both for your unborn baby’s safety and to avoid pulling muscles or ligaments. When you play with your toddler, choose activities that allow you to sit down.[13]

Playing board games, reading, or watching movies together are a few good options for activities that won’t tire you out.

5

Lower your housekeeping standards. When you’re pregnant and have a toddler, you’ve got more to do than usual, but less energy with which to do it. This might mean that keeping your house immaculate isn’t a realistic goal anymore.

Focus on getting the basics done, like washing dishes and doing laundry, and forget about deep cleaning or keeping up with a demanding list of daily chores – you’ve got more important things to worry about.[14]