I had to do a cardio stress test at Sheikh Khalifa Medical City this morning, a residual checkup from a chest pain scare I had last year (it appears I just pulled a muscle, no worries) and it seems that a cardio stress test is really, really hard for some people. For me it was a quick nine-minutes walking increasingly fast at an incline on a treadmill, thank goodness, and all appears to be well. But the nurse kept holding the small of my back, while she and the doctor kept asking if I was okay and I felt as though I could continue.

And though they kept telling me to look forward (maybe to derive inspiration from the giant "PERSERVERE" poster on the wall, accompanied by a tiny picture of that old woman doing the vertical splits on a bus stop – inspiring words: "If I can do it, you can"), I couldn't help but look around, too, much to the doctor and nurse's chagrin. How looking straight ahead has any impact on the results of a stress test is beyond me, but …

"I moved here. I bought furniture. I have kids in school. You need people like me in this country, not Indians who live six to a room"

Hard to believe someone could utter this nonsense then go work it out in a combat class, isn't it? It was so hard for me to believe I immediately typed it into my phone and sent myself a text so I wouldn't forget.

I guess that's the kind of peace of mind having a completely deluded and utterly asinine world view gets you.