May 3, 2009

Like sand goes through the narrow confines of an hourglass, warmth escapes my soul, slowly but surely, leaving nothing but a cold vestige of my former self behind.

I think I was a much better person a year ago.

On some days I look at myself and I wonder what happened to her. And then I look at a picture of you-and-me-and-everybody-else from the days that once were. And I know.

I wonder if I should thank you for twenty-five years in which you indulged me, convinced me that there was nothing I couldn't do, excused my flaws as if they didn't exist, held my hand when I hurt, made me laugh when I cried, laughed at me when I threw a tantrum, or two, or ten, protected me from the world but more than that, protected me from myself.

Or I wonder if I should blame you for leaving me alone now. Unprepared (and most unwilling) to face the 'real' world.

Followers

About Xeb

"Hmm. How to describe a Xainab K. The fact that she prefers an X to a Z should say something: this girl is unconventionality personified. Xeb is the most in-your-face person I've ever met, and she pulls it off with the most amazing balance of brains, beauty and sass that after she leaves, you stand and blink a little before moving on- and don't think that she's particularly bitchy or evil. That's not part of her dictionary (unless you piss her off, of course, and then I'd imagine getting caught in a swarm of locusts a better fate). Neither is thinking twice, 'I don't know' or 'I can't do it'. Xeb is supergirl. When she speaks Gujrati she sounds like an angel. She would thumb her nose at the world and sail away in a sieve at any given time ('pah! who says you can't do it? of course you can!') and not only be automatic captain of the pea-green sails and boss everyone around, but also be bailing water and singing mad sailor songs too....and then dare everyone to skinny-dip in the sea. She's like that. Glass and metal, water and sand, wood and wind. She'll yell at you for trying to talk down to her, and then make you carry her books. And you will, because she's Xeb. Fiercely loving, completely self-assured and unapologetically confident, elle est la look- and how! It's such a unique joy knowing you Xainab, you're an adventure every day. Here's to so many more years of writing a birthday note for you, beautiful Jumblie :)"