Gov. Rick Perry has retained a high-profile Austin defense lawyer to represent him in a criminal investigation into whether he illegally withheld money from the Travis County district attorney’s office, the American-Statesman and KVUE-TV confirmed Sunday.

Rick, Darlin’, Matlock couldn’t get you off.

You can check some background here, but it appears that Governor Perry might be in some manner of trouble and whatnot over threatening a public official when he got all “Me jogger. You Coyote” on District Attorney Rosemary Lehmberg.

The bottom line is that Perry threatened to withhold funding from the DA’s office unless the Lehmberg resigned. And, yes, that is a whole lot like what Chris Christie threatened to do with withholding Sandy relief funding, but poor dumb Rick didn’t get somebody to do the threatening for him under the table. Nope, this cowboy drew a crowd and threatened her on the steps of the capitol and in the damn newspaper. He is that macho and dumb.

Honey, be kind to both Christie and Perry because they can’t help it. It is some kind of strange chemical reaction between testosterone and Axe Body Spray that causes them to act that way

The only reason this isn’t drawing as much attention as the Christie deal is that nobody – including coyotes – takes Rick Perry seriously any more.

Between the mess in Indiana, Raphael Cruz (also crazier than a shithouse rat), this asswipe from below hell, and so many of the other Religious Right Loonies out there (from Santorum to Perry to Brownback to the now faded-Palin), the Progressives need to shove all the craziness that these deluded zealots have wrought.The Repukes climbed into bed with these pukes, thanks in large part to Saint Ronnie Raygun, and those of us who aren't insane need to make them fucking OWN it!