Troy McClure: And now I'd like to introduce the man who will put the "you" in "impr-you-vement"--Brad Goodman!Brad Goodman: Thank you so much, Troy. And by the way, I'm not happy you're still drinking. But at least you're down to one from more than fifty.

Hello, I'm actor Troy McClure. You kids might remember me from such educational films as Lead Paint, Delicious But Deadly and Here Comes the Metric System. I'm here to provide the facts about sex in a frank and straightforward manner. And now, here's Fuzzy Bunny's Guide To You-Know-What.

I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such movies as "Today We Kill, Tomorrow We Die" and "Gladys the Groovy Mule." But today you'll see me in my greatest role - your video tour guide to Rancho Relaxo!

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Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!Homer: D'oh!

Mr. Burns: Men, there's a little crippled boy sitting in a hospital who wants you to win this game. I know because I crippled him myself to inspire you.Milhouse: (to his mom and dad) I hope they win, or Mr. Burns said he's coming back.