Motivation Theories, Thoughts, And Quotes May All Be Wrong...Here's What You Really Need

Last Updated April 5, 2018 By Brad Elgan

This kid I once knew grew up very shy. He wasn’t very social, had just a few friends growing up, and told me he never felt like he had the social skills to get those friends and relationships he always wanted. He told me when he was in high school he began serious weightlifting and bodybuilding. Being somewhat athletic, this was a natural transition for him, take his interest in sports to the gym. He told me the real reason he began weightlifting and bodybuilding was to get bigger so people would notice him. He figured he can’t get attention through his social skills, so he would use his physique to do the talking (I recently read that many professional bodybuilders have similar stories). That kid was me. Although its a little embarrassing to admit it, that’s how I got started working out. From about age 16 through about 23, I worked out as hard as I could to get as big as I could, to get more people to notice me because I was too shy to get their attention just by speaking to them. I think back to that with embarrassment, but now realize that’s what started me on my fitness journey. I now maintain a healthy lifestyle forged out of the habits I cemented in my brain during those early years trying to get bigger muscles just so people would notice me. The point I’m making is that it really doesn’t matter what your motivation is for losing weight, working out, or whatever it is you seek to do. The important thing is to recognize that motivation, take action, and run with it. Use that motivation as a start to take action.

Best-selling author and speaker Mel Robbins has a few insights into motivation...

Here's the deal...​People have many different reasons why they want to lose weight. For some they want to look great for their wedding, for others they want to live longer and be healthier, some may want to just fit into clothes to impress someone they havn't seen in awhile, while others may simple starve themselves to lose weight because they’re body image is distorted. Regardless of the scenario, everybody has a different reason for wanting to lose weight. Are some reasons wrong or right? No, it depends on the person and situation.​

If you are motivated to lose weight to fit into your wedding dress does that make your goal any less acceptable than someone looking for long term health and increased longevity? No. The goal is long term weight loss and a sustained healthy lifestyle. If this is initiatiated by a desire to fit into a dress or lower your blood pressure and get off medication, who cares.

However, before you try to lose weight, I do think you need to examine your desire for weight loss before you try and achieve it. Examining why you want to lose weight is just as important in realizing that weight loss gimmicks and mass production of carbs is a part of our culture. There are two basic forms of motivation, and a couple subsets of motivation that are important as you evaluate your desire to lose weight. Intrinsic motivation

Motivation that comes from within the individual. Often believed to be the most powerful type of motivation. The person has the desire to perform a specific task because its results are in accordance with his belief system or fulfills a desire and therefore importance is attached to it. For me, my desire to get people to notice me was a very strong intrinsic motivator. So much so, that I’m still motivated by the desire to look my best even today (age 39). Extrinsic motivation

​Motivation that comes from outside the individual. The classic example is a reward based motivation. Very popular in sales, companies often tease their employees with bonuses or gifts for achieving certain goals. The employee really needs the extra money so the incentive or motivation is there to achieve better results. Generally considered the lower form of motivation and not nearly as effective as intrinsic motivation, weight loss often falls into this category. The classic example for extrinsic motivation for weight loss is a woman who needs to lose a certain number of pounds to look breathtaking for her wedding.​You might be wondering...what are some other types of motivation, and do they fit my needs?

Fear

Fear motivation is based on negative consequences. If we fail to achieve a certain goal or standard, then punishment can occur. Another very powerful motivator, this forms the backbone of our society’s structure. For example, as kids we are taught to always be on our best behavior otherwise we’ll get grounded or sent to detention. As adults, we are motivated by fear to stay within the speed limit otherwise we might get pulled over and get a ticket. Many people, try to lose weight as a means of preventing the consequences of high blood pressure, diabetes, heart attacks, or strokes. Fear, when used as a motivator for weight loss, can be very powerful initially, but often loses effectiveness over time, and many people fall back into their old habits and forgo their weight loss goals. Achievement

Achievement motivation is similar to both intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. We may feel a desire to lose weight or achieve certain goals based on external motivators like looking good in a bathing suit, or internal motivators like achieving a specific number of lost pounds. Achievement motivation is most effective when the motivation is intrinsic. Reaching a certain number of lost pounds due to an internal desire for achievement is much more effective for long term weight loss than achieving the goal of looking good in a bathing suit for the upcoming summer. Growth

Growth as a means of motivation is also very powerful. The desire for growth as a person can excite and stimulate us to try new things, explore new relationships, or even obtain that elusive body you’ve always wanted. Growth as a means of losing weight is a rare motivator, but a very powerful intrinsic motivator. It reminds me of how people often use a new year to make a resolution to finally lose weight.

​Many people simply say they will make a new years resolution to lose weight, but using the motivating power of personal growth to lose weight carries much more substance and an increased likelihood of staying with a new lifestyle rather than ditching the gym in February when the new years resolution euphoria has worn off. ​

​Power

The motivation of power can either take the form of a desire for autonomy, or the desire to control others around us. The desire to have more power, control, and autonomy in your life can be an incredibly powerful weight loss motivator. Take control of your own diet and fitness program, don’t let other people dictate your health. Do not listen to infomercials telling you how their juicer is going to help you lose 50 lbs, or don’t buy bread or pasta at the grocery store because it is cheap and plentiful. Take control and use power as a motivator to “fight back” against unhealthy influences and finally gain control of your health. Use this motivator with a “me against the world” mentality to help you in your journey to a new lifestyle.

Social

​Social motivation is very common. This may be a desire to belong and to be accepted by a specific peer group or a desire to relate to the people in our sphere or in the larger world. We all want a connection with others and feel a need for acceptance. This was a motivating factor when I started working out, trying to get more muscular so people would notice me and accept me. Within the context of weight loss, the need for social acceptance is extremely powerful. We don’t want people to notice our fat, our chubby stomach, our flabby arms, or the extra chin. This is an external motivator that probably accounts for over 80% of the reasons why people want to lose weight. But, even though its an external motivator, it carries a lot of substance. If losing weight to fit into a bathing suit is what you need to get motivated to lose weight…use it. The goal is a healthy lifestyle, use whatever motivation you can to set the wheels in motion for that goal. What happens if you think about your motivation to lose weight and you come up empty? You can’t think of a legitimate reason you want to lose weight, or just can’t see yourself taking the steps towards obtaining a healthy lifestyle? If this is the case, you may NOT be able to lose weight. Examining your goals, desires, and motivations is very important to any new endeavor, and if you cannot come up with thoughts that will spur you into taking action, than you may have to face the fact that you will never lose weight. If you jump from one weight loss gimmick to another, never losing weight, you’re likely influenced by external motivators that are out of touch with your real internal motivators. You may examine your real motivation and realize you need to take a new approach to weight loss, or maybe even give up the dream. Or, maybe you’re lacking what is perhaps more important than motivation…​

Motivation Is Good, But Having Drive Will Get You Results

One of my favorite books is called “Living With A Seal”, a true story about how a regular guy hires a navy seal to jumpstart his exercise routine. I give a thorough review here. The navy seal, David Goggins, is one of the toughest people on the planet and has the resume to prove it…

Completed 4,025 pull ups in 17 hours

Completed the Kona Ironman World Championship

MiWok 100k race

Leadville 100

Badwater Ultramarathon, 3rd overall

Ultraman world championship, 2nd overall

These are just some of his many accomplishments, with the majority being extreme ultramarathons that push the participant to run 100 miles.

His physical accomplishments are amazing and make one wonder how that’s even possible. How can someone run 100 miles when I can’t even run 3 miles without stopping?!

David Goggins attributes his success to having an internal drive that pushes him beyond his limits. He has different motivators to get him started, but on many occasions he even says motivation is overrated and crap. He has the internal drive that many people lack that keeps him going. The drive to keep running at mile 70, when there are 30 miles left. The drive to keep doing pull ups to break the 24 hour pull up record.His examples are extreme, but the point is that motivation is great and will get you started, but having a strong drive to accomplish a goal will keep you going. If weight loss is a goal, having a strong drive to keep going despite obstacles in your way will get you to your goal. When you’re in the middle of a tough workout, of course it will suck at times, but the drive to keep going has to be there to push through and finish.Once you examine your goals, desires, and motivations, make a plan. If you think you will be internally motivated by personal growth…use it. If you think you will be motivated by power…use it. If you think you will be motivated by social acceptance…use it. The important thing is to take the motivations and build upon them. Use your motivations to your advantage, but tap into your drive to really make a change. Motivation, whether its intrinsic, extrinisic, or whatever is great to help get you started, but its your drive that will keep you going. Develop a strong drive, an internal voice that keeps you going when things get hard, and you’ll be well on your way to your fitness goals.