This piece was part of a Scrytch project wherein DMF offered up the opening phrase, “They found teeth in my grandmother’s heart,” and left it to each individual scrytcher to come up with tales to accompany this opening. This story is my submission. More »

Herein you will find a selection of short short stories, guaranteed to occupy very little of your physical time. Messages of a bizarre, ethereal, occasionally disturbing nature are to be found here: images that dance a short while in your frontal lobes and then dissipate before any permanent damage is done. More »

My column for Erowid on psychoactive-related topics: a mix of slapstick, satire, and occasionally serious explorations of how individuals and culture react to the myriad of experiences offered by psychoactives. More »

Many people do not realize that after Timothy Leary’s “death” in 1996, Leary’s body was spirited away by freedom-loving entities from a parallel dimension, but his head was captured and subjected to a massive array of insidious CIA experiments before it escaped in 2001. His head is now the picture of vicious psychedelic insanity, suspended by little rockets where its neck once was. More »

Normally when someone says, "We've got some good news and some bad news," my immediate response is to sucker punch the person with the news, steal their wallet, tie them up with steel safety cables and hang them from a telephone pole. However, I was out of safety cables when I heard it this time. More »

I remember the day I met Special Agent James Kent, publisher of Trip, as clearly as I remember the day I took my first bath in liquid LSD. The experiences were remarkably similar, both leaving me emotionally and psychically exhausted, with strange bruises all over my body, and an unexplainable bleeding from directly behind my ears. More »

During the year 2002, I became enamored of using the notion of a “tri-state killing spree” as a way to interrupt threads on the Scrytch list and generally make an annoyance of myself. No opportunity to use “tri-state killing spree” as a punch line or an inappropriate answer was missed, and eventually, the members of the list were forced to act. More »

At the age of twelve, the twins began dreaming together, sharing the
same dreamspace, and this is where their family history first makes itself
known. One of the twins, Melody, has always been excessively magnetic,
thoroughly charming, dangerously naive; the other, Laurel, has always been
more pragmatic, slightly ruthless, generously vindictive. The shared dreams
presaged the drugs, of course, and the family's latent insanity chose opportune
moments to surface. More »

After nine years of research into incredibly dangerous substances, Dr. Canton Levery finally fled InfiniTek's headquarters in East Berlin and escaped to America. His tales of current drug research are a chilling reminder that InfiniTek remains the undisputed corporate menace of our time (although rumors that InfiniTek began as a tool for disseminating alien technology throughout the world economy are of course entirely unfounded). More »

My weekly column in my college newspaper, senior year: "There is much entertainment and excitement to be gleaned from the adventures of Scotto, his friend Laurel, and her cousin Crank Boy, along with all their pals: the Lord of all Evil Satan, the archangel Gabriel, Beerbelly the Invisible Clown, Old Mad King Ludwig, and celebrities of all stripes, including Paul McCartney, Zsa Zsa Gabor, and of course, Gordon Jump." More »