Jack Black Lands Coveted Friar’s Roast

When I was a kid growing up, being roasted by the Friar’s Club was indeed an honor. But that was back when the Friars were guys like Don Rickles and Dean Martin. Comics who knew how to be funny without stooping to gratuitous vulgarity and profanity.

Now, unless you wait for it to be re-run at 2 am, the roast is so punctuated by bleeps you can barely make out what they’re trying to say.

Being “honored” by the Friars simply recognizes that you are officially a nobody in the entertainment industry. You have sunk so low, you’re off the radar. Your 15 minutes of fame is OVER.

And who the hell are the Friars these days? If not for the Friar’s Roasts you’d never see their faces on a TV screen. You’d have to pay a $3 cover charge to get into some sleazy comedy club to see their standup routine live (along with the other 2 dozen drunks who only came because it’s wing night).

Check out this snarky malarkey…

Jerry Lewis, the Friars Club ‘Abbot’, adds, “We only roast the ones we love, and with Jack, we love his comedy, we love his music and we love his enormous talent.

Now THAT was old school sarcasm folks.

Anyone who wasted a dollar at Redbox to rent “Nancho Libre” or “Year One” knows beyond all doubt that Jack Black is neither funny or talented. Need proof? I wasted an hour looking for a funny picture of Jack Black and the best I could come up with is the thumbnail image on the homepage. Can anyone think of a funny original joke ever uttered by Jack Black? Surely he must’ve had some memorable line? Even Scotty on Star Trek will be remembered for “I’m givin’ it all she got captain.”

All I know is, if I was a D-list comedian and got an invite to be roasted, I’d just spare myself the shame and take an overdose.