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When is the last time you told the truth?

I like to remain on the side of positivity and happiness. The last few years I’ve made that my mantra, my goal, and my daily prophecy so to speak.

I was recently asked, “Do you ALWAYS smile?” Why yes…yes I do…or I at least try to!

But some days. Days like today when the temps are plummeting and the skies are bleak, I catch myself lying. I caveat this statement with the fact I haven’t slept more the 2 hours each night in the last several nights yet am a creature who requires 5-6 hours of sleep each night, so my judgment with what I share could possibly be swayed.

I digress…

I hit a few bumps in the road of positivity today. I caught myself looking in the mirror investigating the 42 years of ‘stuff’ that was now imprinted on my face in the disguise of wrinkles, pores, and fine lines that are no longer regarded to as ‘fine.’ I listened to myself speaking to my children in a way I swore I never would, and suddenly I found myself feeling very old…and very sad.

Where did I go?

Have I been lying all along when I say I’ve embraced aging?

No…I am telling the truth.

But it isn’t without struggle to see my youth pass me by…to see the once lean and fit body start to deteriorate. The sagging skin, the droopy eyes, and the night sweats are truly for the birds. Yes, I am missing my early/mid 30’s terribly, I won’t lie….

LOL right?

I dug up pictures from 20 years ago tonight. Maybe in efforts to remind myself of the youthful and spunky spirit I once had…maybe more so to remind myself that I didn’t always look and feel so tired or hide my bags behind my unwanted glasses. I am also listening to my favorite early 90’s music. Don’t judge.

There I am, on the left without a care in the world.

But I’d be lying…if I said I didn’t miss that girl. Man, I had such fire back in the day. I was fun. Sure – I was troubled. BUT I lived on the edge…always. More digressing…sorry, y’all…

So here we go…

My fire is still there…refocused, rechanneled, and in need of a good recharge…

AMEN!

I will continue to run, and delve in to my gazillion other passions. But a part of me will always, miss, that girl.

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16 thoughts on “When is the last time you told the truth?”

Awh honey.
You’re amazing. Still stunningly beautiful both inside and out. I understand though, I had the same feelings tonight as I was snappy with the trio and just generally yucked out by my appearance. But it’s what’s in our hearts that counts. Always be you, the laugh that makes others smile, the person who can light up a room. She’s still there. Xo

It’s tough to age… But I try my best to focus on embracing aging with grace….yes, sometimes easier said then done! 😜 I am 52 and feel no differently ( and in some ways) better than I did 10 years ago. You’re bee-autiful and also an inspiration to many women! 🐝💨

You are still are just as amazing now but MUCH MORE SEASONED and WISE!!! That inner fire is what will keep you going … that fire in the belly keep it churning!!! Age is just a number and we got this Michele that why I’m determined that 2016 is going to be my best running year ever because put the work in and continue to get faster with age. You have many passions that I know you will excel in them all. Age is power, wisdom, and beauty and we have all of that chica! 🙂

I love that pic of you from back in the day! But, I think you look more beautiful now than you did then (saying that as a runner friend, don’t want trouble with hubs!). Today is all we really have, so let’s enjoy this one the best we can! 🙂

We lost a pet family member today after 17 long years. Smokey the cat had a long, wonderful life and we sure are going to miss her. But life goes on, and we will remember her sweet nudges on our chins. 🙂

Love this. Turning 50 was a real challenge for me. I still have the fire, but oh man, the physical changes really brought me down. I’m telling you, this crossfit/lifting thing has been the fountain of youth for me. I just couldn’t accept the aging process. I’ve still got too much fire in me!

Welcome to my Blog!

My name is Michelle and I am a retired Air Force Master Sergeant. I have found a passion for running, cooking, writing, photography and all things that move my love for life! I've ran 3 full marathons, with a PR of 4:25, and 13 half marathons with a PR of 2:00:11 (yup-missed sub 2 by 11 seconds, lol). 2016 will be all about tackling the hard things and embracing the good things while my hubby is deployed overseas! Thanks for joining me on my journey!