I think with all of us being adopted, I've formed a "wall" between me and the two of them through the years. Some of it was out of necessity, while the other, survival. Neither seem to be happy with life in general, and I refuse to get bogged down like that. It makes me standoffish with pretty much everyone -- giving in a little bit, but always withdrawing when I get too close. It's taught me, sadly, autonomy. It's also taught me strength, understanding, how to let go of no-win situations and tolerance of stupidity. Nicccccccce.

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Autonomy is a most excellent survival skill, so long as it doesn't prevent you from forging relationships with people you actually LIKE.

I have three full-blood sisters. One older, two younger. My older sister is a dominating, controlling, spin-doctor attention-freak nutcase whom I keep at a polite distance, even though she's the only one of my close family who lives in the UK. I learnt very early on to clam up in her presence, never to talk too freely about dreams and aspirations or even my stories (I was always writing or thinking through stuff) because inevitably she would bring these things out in front of friends and family, twisted slightly to make them ridiculous, and she would watch me squirm in humiliation...

So having her as a sibling has from my earliest days made me cautious of people, slow to trust and confide, and quick to withdraw into a protective shell should they start talking too quickly or resemble her in any way.

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Words.

Here is Belladonna, the Lady of the Rocks,The lady of situations.Here is the man with three staves, and here the Wheel,And here is the one-eyed merchant, and this cardWhich is blank, is something that he carries on his back,Which I am forbidden to see. I do not findThe Hanged Man. Fear death by water.I see crowds of people, walking round in a ring.Thank you. If you see dear Mrs. Equitone,Tell her I bring the horoscope myself;