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I didn't like it, so sue me: The worst of OLTL 2013:
Hey, Two Scoops readers! Let's make a New Year's resolution to be nice… in a few days. This is the Worst of One Life to Live 2013. Come on in and s... Read the column now...

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After months and months and months, John finally found out that Liam was really his son. The fans have been waiting for this for...well, it seems like forever.

Greetings and a Happy Thanksgiving to you all! I am filling in for Michael this week, and I am again proud to be a guest OLTL Two Scooper, and just in time for Turkey Day. However, I will celebrate, not with the typical and even predictable Thanksgiving column. Oh no! There is something even more important and more traditional than giving thanks, eating tons of food, and being with family members on Thanksgiving Day. Yes, that's right... NFL football!

I mean, surely, you can see the connection between NFL football and One Life to Live, right? Oh, all right, maybe there is no real connection, but I hope to make it my mission to find a connection, no matter how tenuous. So, are you ready for some football…and this week's OLTL developments? The coin has been tossed, the whistle has blown, and it is time for the opening kickoff of the OLTL Thanksgiving NFL football-theme Two Scoops column.

First, Cutter and Gigi, I mean Stacy, seemed to be playing a cat and mouse game in the airport, much like the cat and mouse game that the Detroit Lions and the Green Bay Packers will be playing on Thanksgiving (get it…Lions = cats, Packers = Cheeseheads, and mice love cheese…oh, never mind.) However, I am not so sure that Gigi, I mean Stacy, is the mouse. I just hope that she will not end up being a scaredy-cat like the Lions were when they last played the Bears.

Gigi, I mean Stacy, armed with Cutter's credit card, slipped away from Cutter to book a flight to Rio de Janeiro. She intended to reverse the surgery that Stacy had done, so that she could try to get her memory back, and so that Cutter could no longer use her to scam Rex. However, Cutter realized that she would need to recover after the surgery and agreed to accompany Gigi, I mean Stacy, to Rio.

You know, everything that "Stacy" has done since she woke up from her coma points to the idea that she is really Gigi. Stacy was very self-absorbed and would never have believed that she had ever been "horrible and selfish." On the other hand, Gigi would have wanted to right a wrong, if she had felt that she had committed one in the past. So, here's hoping when "Stacy" finally sees the doctor, it will be discovered that she has never had plastic surgery done before. And then we would all know that Stacy had actually died in that basement, not Gigi.

After seeing the message, "Don't Give Up" on the airport arrivals and departures monitor, Rex spotted Gigi, I mean Stacy, in the airport, just as she was about to board the plane. Rex yelled for her to stop, but she ran behind the door to board. Rex pounded on the door and demanded that the airport let him get on the plane. Rex sadly stated, "Gigi, I can't believe I lost you again." He then talked to the airport clerk about taking the next flight to Rio, which would leave in the morning.

When Aubrey learned about Rex's flight, she decided to accompany him to Rio. As Aubrey put it, Rex would need a con of his own to out-con a con artist like Cutter. Once they arrived at the doctor's office, Aubrey wondered why Cutter would fly all the way to Brazil to see a doctor. I hope that Aubrey continues to be a good friend to Rex, especially since she saw that he still loves Gigi. Rex's heart has been fractured since Gigi's death, much like Lions' quarterback, Matthew Stafford's fractured right index finger. Since it appears that "Gigi" and "Rex" are not making the move online (although I have not heard anything official), it would be nice if Rex could end up with the woman that he loves. And that woman would be Gigi, not a Stacy who looks like Gigi!

While on the plane to Rio de Janeiro, "Stacy" learned more about Cutter. His father, Billy Jo Wentworth, made some right decisions and investments and with a good stock portfolio, reinvented himself as William J. Wentworth. However, Cutter's mother, Alexandra decided that she did not want to be the perfect mother, so she deserted the family. After spending every dime in his search for Alexandra, Billy Jo "swallowed his gun one night." Cutter stated that after he and his sister had spent time in different homes, while in foster care, he had found his sister and had promised to give her everything that she deserved. Cutter had been unable to do that, therefore, he felt that nobody could ever count on anybody, so he asked "Stacy" not to count on him.

At the clinic in Rio, Gigi, I mean Stacy, admitted that nothing about the place looked familiar to her. Gigi demanded to see the doctor, when Alex Olanov stormed out. Alex screamed that the doctor had butchered her face and warned "Stacy" not to let the doctor touch her face. When Alex announced to the medical assistant that her name was Alex Olanov, Cutter realized that Alex was his mother. After Cutter tried to tell Alex that she was his mother, she claimed that she was too young to have a son his age. However, Alex finally admitted that Cutter was his son, and that Aubrey was his daughter, even though Aubrey had not been much to look at.

Funny Alex -- she kept remarking about how attractive her son was, and her only comment about her daughter was that Aubrey had been unattractive. Alex is still as shallow as she has always been. Anyway, Alex wanted to talk to Cutter alone to explain her side, and once they were alone, he began to choke her. Stacy was right outside the door, so I am sure that she will stop Cutter from killing Alex. I do believe that murder would be a much more serious crime than his usual con jobs.

The quarterback of the Green Bay Packers, Aaron Rodgers, appears to be at the height of perfection, which cannot also be said of Jessica and Ford. Jessica sees herself as being flawed due to her DID, and Bobby is well…Bobby. Ford seemed to be ready for a real relationship, though, and he saw Jessica as a wonderful sister, mother, daughter -- and woman. Jessica realized that she thought of Bobby as a friend, but they have both evolved into different people. Although Ford feared risking their friendship, Jessica insisted that she was completely over Brody. However, Jessica was worried that Ford still saw her as Tess.

Once Bobby convinced Jessica that being with her was like watching his favorite movie, only with a different ending (his words, not mine), Jessica kissed him, and they made love. The next morning, Jessica insisted that she had no regrets about the previous night, and Ford claimed that she and Ryder meant the world to him. I, of course, would rather have a not-really-dead Nash return, so that Jessica could have her happy ending with the love of her life, but, alas, that will not happen. Since it appears that Bree Williamson and David Gregory will not be signing on with the soap, once it goes online, a Jessica and Ford union is a nice way to end their storyline.

The second football game on Thanksgiving has Dallas hosting Miami, and the Cowboys will try to wrangle in the Dolphins, much like Tina wrangled Cord into getting married again. Well, technically, Cord is the one who did the wrangling, since he is the one who actually proposed. Cord passed his heart to Tina, in the same fashion that Tony Romo tosses the ball to Jason Witten. Okay, maybe that was not the best football/soap connection.

However, this is a nice development for two fan favorites (Cord and Tina, not Tony and Jason) who have had their ups-and-downs throughout the years. And the side betting on if the wedding would really take place -- Nora said it would, Shaun disagreed -- added humor to the ceremony. Tina vowed to never lie or cheat on Cord, and to never yank that ball away from him again. Her words, not mine. See…there is a connection between football and OLTL! With Viki as maid of honor and Clint as best man, Cord and Tina have hopefully found the happiness that they have both sought.

The Miami Dolphins have struggled this season, because of a management controversy, and a parallel can be drawn to OLTL with attempting to make the move from ABC to the new Prospect Park project. As Dawn mentioned last week, AMC will not go online at this time due mainly to finances. Because OLTL is farther along with negotiations, Prospect Park has elected to start off with just one soap, which will be OLTL. There is every indication that if OLTL is successful online, AMC could be brought over at a later date. The characters of Viki, Tomas, Blair, Dani, Clint, Shaun, John, Natalie, Téa, David, Jack, Destiny, and Cutter have already signed up for the show. I am still crossing my fingers that Todd, Bo, Nora, Roxy, and yes, even Victor will sign up as well. I just hope that everything works out, and that OLTL will be ready to make the move, once the soap has finished its run on ABC in January.

The final Thanksgiving Day game has the San Francisco 49ers playing the Baltimore Ravens. This season, the Ravens have played inconsistently, even though they beat the Steelers twice, and inconsistency is the perfect word to describe Todd Manning. After Todd decided that he still loved Blair, he had been unable to declare his feelings for her. So, rather than tell Blair he loved her, Todd decided to just eliminate the other person Blair cared for. Now, that's love!

When Baker located Todd on the docks, Todd had a very interesting proposal for Baker: Todd would pay Baker to get rid of Tomas. Not kill him, because Todd did not want any more blood on his hands. However, Baker claimed that the deed could be done, and Tomas would be just a bad memory. In the meantime, after Blair and Tomas made love, Blair questioned if Todd was still Tomas' number one suspect in Victor's murder. Tomas was rather cagey about it all, even though that was exactly what he believed.

Tomas also told Tea that he was still investigating Victor's murder, even though he thought it was funny that Todd believed that Tomas was only investigating the murder to get Todd out of his love life. Definitely his words, not mine! Baker had Claude trick Tomas into going to the warehouse, so that Baker could get rid of Tomas. I wonder just how Baker intends to get rid of him. Tomas did show up, just as Todd and Baker had hoped, and Todd confronted Tomas on his arrival. Of course, if Victor is not really dead, Todd could not be his killer, so all of this drama would be for naught. I have heard rumors…!

Finally, the big event of the week! After months and months and months, John finally found out that Liam was really his son. Finally! The fans have been waiting for this for…well, it seems forever. Just as the San Francisco 49ers have proven to be the surprise of the NFL this season, the truth about Liam was the surprise for Mr. McBain. Actually, Natalie learned the truth first during her wedding to Brody (of course!) when Tina ran in with Liam's paternity test results, just as Natalie was about to say "I do."

Eventually, Natalie realized that Brody had known the truth all along, and he finally admitted it. Once Natalie declared that it was over between them, Brody decided that even though he had lost Natalie, he vowed that he would not lose Liam. Natalie remembered that John was leaving town to move to Seattle, so she raced out of the church with the test results in hand.

Luckily, Natalie was able to catch John, before he boarded the plane. She announced that her wedding to Brody was off, and that Liam was John's son. Natalie explained that Marty had admitted on her therapy tape that she had changed the test results, and that Brody had erased the tape. Once Natalie showed John the paternity test results as proof, they hugged each other. John and Natalie walked, arm-in-arm, out of the airport to see their son.

However, once John and Natalie arrived at Llanfair, they discovered Nigel on the floor, unconscious, and Liam gone from his crib. John sent out an Amber Alert that Brody had kidnapped Liam, which the airport received as Brody tried to purchase tickets to Sydney, Australia. Needless to say, Brody had a quick change of plans, which included getting a new residence for Brody and Liam.

In their search for Liam, John received a tip at the police station that Liam had been spotted at a bus station. When John and Natalie left to check it out, they discovered that the tip had been false, and that the baby had been much older than Liam. However, when John checked his computer, he felt that he knew where Brody had taken Liam, once he saw the Brody had been depositing part of his check each pay period into a savings account. John also discovered that Brody's sister, Nadine, still owned a house in Niles, Michigan. I wonder if Nadine cheers for the Detroit Lions….

Anyway, John and Natalie headed out to Niles, which, of course, is exactly where Brody took Liam. Brody also found Nadine there, who tried to hit him with a frying pan. Brody's not a Navy SEAL for nothing, so he was able to ward off her blow. It did not take long for Nadine to realize that Brody was on the run with Liam. Since Nadine had just been released from prison, when a Niles police officer arrived to ask Nadine questions, Nadine asked Brody to be gone by the time she returned.

As Brody opened the door to head off towards Canada, he discovered Natalie and John on the porch. Really, how far does Brody think he will get with a baby in his hands, since he has already been discovered?! I am just glad that this storyline is finally moving along, and I hope that we all have a resolution soon.

In other highlights from the week, Vimal and Rama agreed to let Neela stay in Llanview, and Jack admitted to Neela that he had started the fire at the Sun, because he did not want Todd to have it. Destiny worried about being a good mother, after Shaun grabbed her junk food from her and insisted that she be more responsible. When Destiny claimed that she wanted to be a good mom, Shaun reminded her that she had her family for support.

Clint asked Shane to please call him grandpa or Clint, and Shane felt more comfortable with Clint. Clint is showing more heart these days, as he asked Shane for his advice, while Viki listened at the door. Viki is starting to see more and more the man that she had fallen in love with so many years ago. And Tomas learned that Téa is pregnant with Victor's baby and is happy for her. He even gave her his baby bracelet, as a gift to her baby. The bracelet supposedly wards off the evil eye. Considering his circumstances, maybe Tomas should have held onto the bracelet!

The MVP Award for the week goes to Ilene Kristen, who has proven to be an outstanding supporting and character actress. First, Roxy was at Brody and Natalie's wedding and tried to stop it, but she remembered her promise to Rex that she would not tell Natalie that John still loved her. Roxy then covered and stated that she was thrilled to be Natalie's maid of honor.

Later, at Llanfair, Roxy played nursemaid to Nigel, after he had been found unconscious by John. When Roxy suggested giving Nigel one of the flavored teas, "Tummy Tackler," "Deep-Coat Throat," or "Bedtime Berry Berry," Nigel claimed that he would only drink proper English tea. Nigel wondered if Roxy had been fine with the way their relationship had turned out, and Roxy explained that she had known that Nigel had always wanted to "buttel," and that she was happy to have received a hotel out of the deal. Roxy exclaimed that Nigel was the best, because he had done everything he could to protect her grandson.

Finally, Roxy had a heart-to-heart moment with Viki on the Llanfair staircase. Roxy noted that Natalie had gotten her leadership qualities from Viki, and Viki stressed that Natalie had gotten being resilient (Viki had to explain that meant Natalie's ability to bounce back whatever it took) from Roxy. Viki agreed with Roxy that between the two of them, Natalie had become a good kid. Roxy is quite often the humor and the heart of the soap, and Ilene does a wonderful job bringing out the most in the colorful character of Roxanne Balsom.

Thank you again for allowing me this chance to express my views about my favorite soap, One Life to Live. At this time, I also would like to give thanks to my family, friends, co-workers, the food on Thanksgiving, and yes, even football. In these uncertain times, it is always best to remember what is important, and what you are grateful for. And I would also like to thank J.R. Martinez of AMC fame for keeping me entertained on Dancing with the Stars. Hey, if J.R. can thank Justin Bieber for his perfect 30, I can thank J.R. Even if he does not win the Mirrorball Trophy, J.R. has proven, week after week, that he has been the best non-professional dancer this season. (And yes, that is my totally unbiased opinion.) Thanks to you all, and have a terrific Thanksgiving Day!

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.