Thursday, August 29, 2013

She sat in her rocking chair, barely moving but for the slow
tapping of one foot as it reached toward the fire and back again. Her eyes were
closed and in her head she heard once more the eerie calling of the song of
Arda, the elven music she had been privy to only once in her long ago childhood
as she wandered lost through the deep green woods. She heard the music and
stopped to listen, hearing the whole tune only once in her life and never forgetting
a note of it. The fairies had found her and led her from the forest that very
afternoon, setting her safely back on the path to home. She sang the song
incessantly for a week after her return, until her father told her he never
wanted to hear it again. After that, it had rung in her head, as it did now.
When she grew and left home, she moved close to the edge of the forest, hoping
to hear the song played by the fairy once more before she died.

Her fat, wrinkled body barely fit into the old rocker now,
and her knees and arms ached with the chill of winter rains, but she could
still move swiftly if she needed to. Her head swayed slightly with the music
that ran through her head, eyes still closed against the sights of her small
and dark cottage home.

The village people feared her, called her 'old hag' and only
came to visit when they needed an herbal potion to still a disease or thought
she should help them to harm another. They knew not what they asked of her at
those times, that she would not comply. Instead she sent them hurrying off back
to the village when she raised her broomstick in anger. They called her 'witch'
and rumors spread of her powers. Those that she sent away, made up stories in
anger, until quite a legend had grown. According to that legend she was now one
hundred and fifty years old and was a great student of the black arts. In
reality, she was neither.

Her head swayed gently to the music, her eyes closed, her
foot barely moving toward the fire and back again. A smile perched gently on
her aging lips and she felt the presence of Arda once again.

She'd seen him but once, on a clear night many full moons
ago, as she sat on her stoop catching the cool breezes after a hot day. She was
humming his song and he came to stand at the edge of the forest, head tilted,
listening. She kept her eyes only slightly turned toward him, feigning
ignorance of his presence as she continued to hum his song. He stood in the
shadows, but the blue of his skin glistened in the darkness. He didn't speak
until she was finished.

"Where did you learn that song?" His voice lilted
across the yard on gossamer wings and landed gently on her aging ears.

"In the forest when I was very young," she
answered shyly.

"You've lived here for many years. I've never heard you
sing it before."

She was surprised that he knew she was here, surprised that
he'd been listening. "I sing it in my head," she told him softly.

"You say you heard it only once?"

She nodded, somehow knowing that he would see her do so even
in the dark of the night.

"Yet you know it without error." It was a
statement, something almost mumbled to himself.

"It's a very beautiful tune," she had said, and
then she had boldly asked, "What is it called?"

"It is my own song, the Song of Arda," he
answered, then he added softly, "You should not sing it aloud again."

He disappeared into the forest then, melting into the
shadows to become one of them. She never saw him again but there was always
hope that he would play for her once more before she died.

She let the music take her away from the cabin then, far
away into the forest, deep within the realm of Arda. The music played in her
head and she smiled a gentle smile. The wind began to mutter against the creaky
old hut and she paused for only a second to be sure she wasn't going to have to
tie down the shutters. But the wind abated and stilled once more. And the music
began to rise.

She stopped breathing and listened. This time it wasn't in
her head. This time it was coming from the forest. She stiffly rose, and
shuffled to the door, bringing it open as quietly as she could, pulling her
tattered shawl around her to try to stop the cold.

Across the yard, over by the trees, he stood, shimmering
blue in the night. He never wavered as the tune was played clear, bright, full
of promise and mystery. His song. The Song of Arda.

Suddenly she realized he was singing. The words. She'd never
heard the words before. Only the tune. She sank to the stoop and listened, her
eyes never leaving him. His lute played softly, his voice sang clear, telling
how he'd been forced to fight in a great battle, the death of his father and
mother, and finally of his coming to the forest, leaving all behind him save
this song. And she understood. She remembered the song because his story was her
own. They were joined by the music in the stories of their lives. Tears rolled
down her cheeks as she listened and remembered. Sorrow for times past rolled
over her as the words told their story.

But the words began to tell more, how his life became peace
in the forest, how life held new meaning and hope, how it was that he could
sing the song without hate or pain because the memories could not harm him any
longer. He had found peace in the forest as she had found it at its edge. Her
sigh of joy was felt across the yard and into his heart and he paused his
singing.

"Yes," he said softly, turning to look into her
face. "Yes."

Then he melted back into the trees, becoming the shadows once
again. She waited for a time, then stood and shuffled back into her hut,
shutting out the cool night breezes.

She sat in her rocking chair, barely moving but for the slow
tapping of one foot as it reached toward the fire and back again. Her eyes were
closed and in her head she heard once more the eerie calling of the song of
Arda. Only this time, she heard the words as well as the music.

Positive
thinking. You’ve heard of it, but what is it really? I'll tell you what it is
not.

It is not answering
the question "how are you" with "I'm great", unless
you actually feel great inside and out.

It is not mentally hanging on to every
"wrong" that has ever happened in your life (perceived or
otherwise) while telling people you are fine.

It is not telling
others that you are "wonderful" while thinking or feeling that
you are not.

It is not pointing
fingers at others and saying "that one made me feel this way" or
"that one made me do that".

In
fact, positive thinking does not have a great deal to do with outside forces.
It has to do with YOU, internally and externally. Positive thinkers are not
necessarily the happiest people you meet, although most are content with their
lives. They are not necessarily wealthy nor do they pat everyone on the back,
although they do try to be supportive. Positive thinkers view their life and
all of the experiences they have as completely their own. This means they take
full responsibility for every thought, feeling, and activity in their lives.
Here are my personal beliefs on this important topic.

Whatever
you want to hang onto about other people, you're going to. No one can stop you
from doing that. However, you must take responsibility for that action, which
means, you must accept that whatever you feel, YOU are allowing. No one else
can hurt you. You allow yourself to hurt. No one else can make you angry. You
allow yourself to be angry. No one can give you fear. You are the one who takes
on the fear. No one can make you feel bad. You allow yourself to feel bad. On
the other hand, no one can make you feel good. You allow yourself to feel good.
You cannot blame… or credit… anyone else for the way you feel.

There
is nothing for it but to accept that, and then to ask yourself why you are
forcing yourself to feel that way. Does allowing yourself to feel pain or hurt make
you feel better? It usually makes people feel worse, but some people seem to
rather enjoy the pain that they allow in their lives. Some people use it as an
excuse to do things. Whatever your reasons, they are yours and yours alone… so
if you want to stop hurting, then stop. It truly is that simple. I don't need
(or really want) to know your reasons or hear your arguments about this. You
must work it all out for yourself and then you must do whatever it is you
decide is best for you. I have said this many times… "YOU CANNOT CHANGE
ANYONE ELSE. YOU CAN ONLY CHANGE YOURSELF!" Change your thoughts and you can
change your life. Once you change the way you react to people and their words
or actions, people usually change the way they treat you. Right now, your
reaction to negative actions or words is to take on negative feelings. Try to
be positive (or at least neutral) instead and see what happens. You do not have
to suck in the negative. You can exude positive reactions instead. Even if the
other person is being a jerk!

Meditation
is a good way to reach inside and make changes to yourself. If you have never
meditated, it isn't difficult. It is simply relaxing into a state of
near-sleep.

1.Get yourself a nice soft, soothing CD or tape and
listen to it. Music is good… but make it music without words so that you don't
sit listening to the words instead of meditating. Sounds, like bubbling brooks
or ocean waves, are good too, but make them "pure" sounds without any
music in them.

2.Find a comfortable place to sit or lay down.

3.Now, as you listen to your soft music or sounds,
imagine you're walking very slowly down a huge winding staircase. Your hand is
on the banister and you pause on each step for several seconds. Look around and
take note of the things you see. Count the number of steps. There are twelve of
them. When you reach the bottom, you will find the prettiest garden you've ever
seen. Go ahead and explore it for a few moments before you begin talking to
yourself. You may meet one of your guardians here if you wish. Just ask one to
show up and then look for him or her.

The
first few times you meditate, you might fall asleep. Don't worry about it if
you do. Try not to meditate just before you go to bed or you will never get to
the point where you can talk to yourself. You want to relax to that “almost
sleeping” stage, but not actually go to sleep. Then you can talk to yourself
and see what's up.

Don’t
ask me "why" this and "why" that. My only answer is… How
should I know? I am not here to figure out the "whys" of this world
or its people. I sincerely don't care what they are! Perhaps God, the universe,
mother nature… whatever you want to call that "higher being"… knows.
Perhaps he/she/it doesn't. Perhaps he/she/it cares. Perhaps he/she/it doesn't.
What the universe or anyone else knows or thinks has little to do with me. The
only opinions or thoughts that matter in my life are mine.

One
thing that you need to accept in order to move on is… You are the most important person
in your life. If you can't accept that, you will never move forward.
This is your life. It is the only one you get. You, and you alone, are
fully responsible for what happens, for what you feel, for what you do, for who
you associate with, for everything that goes on in your life. You can
have good experiences with others or you can have bad ones. The choice is completely
yours. Most people will not accept this fact and most people go through life
blaming everyone and everything they encounter… or giving them credit… for
everything that happens in their own lives. It's really too bad they do this
because they would be so much more free and happy if they took full
responsibility for their lives.

There
is something that I believe is helping to make most of your troubles appear. My
belief is that we draw negative things to us because of negative thinking. Let
me explain...

The
universe is there, waiting to give us everything our souls desire to make our
lives everything we want them to be. However, in order to give us everything we
want, the universe watches to see what it is we concentrate on the most. After
all, it is only logical that we would concentrate mostly on those things we
truly desire… right?

So,
when we constantly think about negative things, we are drawing more negative
things to us. That's the way the universe works. It knows no other way of being
and it does not hear our occasional little pleas and prayers for good things.
It sees us concentrating most of our efforts on negativity… it assumes that
this is what we truly desire… and it brings us our souls' desires (what we
concentrate on the most) in as large quantities as it can without overloading
us.

Can
you see this happening in your life? It has likely been happening for many
years now... and you are still concentrating on the negative. If you want to
see big changes in your life, you must make big changes in your thinking. If
you change, if you begin to concentrate and think about more positive things,
then the universe will gift you with more positive things. This will take time,
however, because, firstly, you will not change immediately and secondly, you
have loaded your "wish list" with much negativity... and those
"wishes" will be supplied before the universe will switch to your new
"wishes" for positive gifts.

At
this point most people lie to themselves and say "But I am a positive
thinker". Be honest with yourself. Look deeply at what you say and think
about the people, places, and things around you. Listen to what you say and
think... truly hear yourself. You will see that you are probably not a positive
person.

Another
thing that you need to do in order to move forward in your life is to forgive,
even if you cannot forget, and toss out all of your garbage. The only person
you are hurting by hanging onto the garbage you drag around is you. All
that garbage you're carrying around in the form of "dislike, hate,
discomfort, bad memories, etc." is just that… garbage. Visually put it
into a green garbage bag, take it out to the curb, and wave good-bye to it as
the garbage men take it away. It's not worth hanging onto. No matter what, all
that stuff only hurts one person… that would be YOU in your life! No one else
cares and no one else is hurt by it... although constantly making it part of
your conversations with others will make people want to stay away from you.
Positive people attract others to them like flies to honey. Negative people are
often lonely and alone. Ditch the garbage, think and speak more positively,
forgive anyone who has "wronged" you in the past, and you will be a
happier person. Hang onto it, and you will continue to be sad, sorry, and
lonely.

Another
thought on your whole situation is this… perhaps you are going through some of
this sh*t because you still haven't "got it". It is my belief when I
am experiencing the same sorts of things over and over, that I must change
something about the way I am reacting to it. When I finally "get"
whatever it is I'm supposed to be learning, my life begins to move again. Until
that moment, the sh*t continues to happen in my life. So, the sooner you figure
out what you need to learn, and "get it", the sooner your life can
get back on track. Again, it is a matter of taking full responsibility for your
life. It isn't where you live or who you meet or what others say or do that has
any bearing on how you feel, unless you allow that to happen. It is only how
you react to what or who you encounter that affects you. Learn the lessons
quickly and your life will continue to flow smoothly. Learn them slowly, and
you will continue to experience the same things until you understand and learn.

Yes,
there are things that come into our lives that aren't pleasant. There are
illnesses and there are people and experiences and all the unpleasant things
that life can bring to us. Personally I believe that these are our lessons and
tests. Some, just like tests in school, are more difficult than others. It
isn't what they are that matters. It's what you do with them.

There
is always a negative and a positive way to look at things. There is always a
"bad" and a "good" in everything. Find the good and you
will have a good experience, despite the circumstances. Find the bad and you
will have a bad experience… again… despite the circumstances. The
universe teaches and tests us all the time. These are the things that help our
souls to grow. Without the lessons and tests, we can't grow spiritually. Since
spiritual growth is the main reason we're here, it follows that the lessons and
tests are going to be with us throughout our lives.

People
who have few tests to endure, do not have less to learn spiritually… they might
have more or they might be learning their lessons quickly. As individuals, our
spirits can only endure so much, so we are given lessons and tests that we can
handle. Remember that, when you are going through a particularly difficult test
or series of tests. You can handle it spiritually. The trick is to figure out
the lesson or answer as quick as you can and come out a winner with it. Once
the lesson is learned, you move on to the next stage of your life... and the
next series of lessons and tests.

That's
about all I have to tell you for this time. Don't get mad at me for saying any
of this. Don't get scared either. The sooner you take your life back from the
outside world (and remember… you gave it up!) the better your life will
be. Your life truly is what you make it. In my opinion, anyway.

About Me

Friendly, accepting of others, intelligent, and very relaxed in life... that's me.

What do I do in retirement? Mostly I play. I play computer games (I like city builders and non-combatant types). I play at cooking and baking (we eat low carb, so I enjoy revamping recipes). I play at loom knitting (scarves and hats mostly). I play at writing (but not much the past couple of years). I play at housework (which means I put it off until necessary to do).

Retirement can be very good and very bad all at the same time. Aches and
pains are part of normal life. Does it mean I live stress-free? Not in
the least. The stresses are just different. But I enjoy retirement
despite the aches and pains and stresses of getting older... because I have a freedom that I have
never had before. Freedom to choose to do or not to do.

Retirement means that I can stay up as late as I want and then sleep in as late as I need to. It also means that every little thing that happened to my body when I was young has come back to haunt me with a vengeance. It means that I can work on things as I want, that I do not have to do anything quickly... which is a good thing, considering that my body determines how quickly that I can accomplish anything! It means that no one tells me when to get up, when to eat, when to sleep, or when I can play. The only time I have to be somewhere at a certain time is when I have an appointment.... usually with my doctor. Retirement is freedom... with restrictions. My motto these days is "There's always tomorrow... and if there ain't, it don't matter." I love it!