Weekend Watch List: SHARK WEEEEEEK!

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Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things on TV to watch while you stay at home and eat your All Bran. LET’S GO!

GREAT WHITE INVASION – 9:00PM Sunday (Discovery) When it’s the dead of summer and there’s nothing left to fill the time until school and football begin, where do you turn? I’ll tell you where: SHARK WEEK. Discovery Channel’s annual paean to those cold-blooded seamurderers is back, and at just the right time. Kick off Shark Week with this hour-long special explaining why great white sharks are swimming closer to our shores than ever. FACT: You are going to eaten by a shark. There’s no two ways about it. Even if you don’t go in the ocean, the shark will evolve feet, come to your door, pose as a candy gram, and then devour you. There’s no escape, my friend. Sharks will soon take over everything. ANTICIPATION: SHARK WEEK!

OUTNUMBERED – 11:00PM Saturday (BBC America) I’m excited for this one. It’s the UK’s answer to “Modern Family,” and it’s been getting excellent notice from critics since it screened. So rejoice, for there is now something on Saturday night besides terrible made-for-TV movies. ANTICIPATION: HIGH!

AGE OF THE DRAGONS – 9:00PM Saturday (SyFy- an NBC/Universal network) Speaking of made-for-TV movies, here’s one with Danny Glover! This one’s a knockoff of Moby Dick, with Glover playing Ahab and a weirdly CGI’ed dragon playing the part of the white whale. I assume Ishmael will be played by an elf of some kind. Or maybe a dwarf. ANTICIPATION: GLOVER!

AGAINST THE WALL – 10:00PM Sunday (Lifetime) Have you missed Treat Williams ever since the end of “Everwood”? Well, he’s back again, playing the father of Abby Kowalski’s internal affairs detective in this new Lifetime series. You have to love a man who spends his entire life going around with the name Treat. ANTICIPATION: TREAT!

MTV2’S 120 MINUTES WITH MATT PINFIELD – 1:00PM Saturday (MTV2) Back when MTV played actual music, they aired “120 Minutes” late every Sunday night to showcase the hottest college and indie bands in the world. Now the show is back, and to prove their new-found commitment to music, MTV2 is airing the show ONCE A MONTH. Once a freakin’ month! Are there more valuable properties they have that have to go into that 1AM Saturday time slot? Could they really not stand having Pinfield come in on a weekly basis? Come on, man! Give us something to work with! ANTICIPATION: ALT-ROCK-ALTNESS!