Peter Ainsworth's mystery cure

Don't worry about the broken society, it is quite incredible how quickly things get fixed in Cameron's Britain.

Yesterday, Peter Ainsworth, the Tory environment spokesman, was on crutches hobbling around the Birmingham conference with one leg suspended, as if he had suffered a really serious injury.

But today, Ainsworth sprung onto the stage with the rest of the shadow cabinet without even a hint of a limp. Striding towards his seat with confidence he then leapt up two steps, like a mountain goat, to his allotted place.

Cameron went on to say he didn't have "miracle cures" for anything, but this was an impressive turnaround indeed.