What I don't understand is... when you owe a bookie a lot of money, and he, say, blows off one of your toes, you still owe him the money. Doesn't seem fair to me. Especially when he's gonna kill me in four days anyway.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Entertainment Tonight

Apparently I've been writing about too much soccer lately... sorry. I thought I'd take the time now to provide you Noobs with an entertainment report. Here is what you should be watching, reading, and listening to:

TELEVISION:

Entourage - Unequivocally the best show on Television, Entourage has started off it's third season with a bang. The five main characters are absolutely world class (Vince, E, Drama, Turtle, and Ari), and this is one of the funniest shows of all-time. I highly suggest that if you have HBO, you start watching it (Sundays at 10 PM EST), and if you don't have HBO, it's worth getting if only for Entourage. Yes the show is that good, I feel it's the best show of all-time.

Here's some love for those Ari Gold fans out there:

*** Spoiler Alert ***I'm kind of upset with the newest episode and the introduction of the character "Dom." This piece of shit New Yorker friend of theres from their child hood just got out of prison and has come to ride the coattails of Vince's success. Everybody wants him out, except Vince, who ended the last episode by saying he was making Dom the head of security. I am furious over Vince's decision, and want Dom off the show as quickly as possible. As my roommate Laura said "Dom is ruining my Sunday nights, I feel like he's intruding on my family."

Lucky Louie - HBO's newest comedy is Lucky Louie, and it airs right after Entourage. It stars actor Louis C.K., and is taped in front of a live studio audience. I didn't have high expectations for this show, but it's actually really funny. Plus, in the last episode, there were two instances of frontal male nudity... which is a total bonus. Without ruining anything else, I suggest that you give the show a chance; you won't be disappointed.

Dog Bites Man - Another show that didn't look too appealing at first is Comedy Central's "Dog Bites Man." It's a show about a 4 person news team, and it's absolutely hysterical. New episodes air Wednesday nights at 10:30 on Comedy Central, and they're definitely worth checking out. The character Marty is over the top funny, and he gets funnier every time I watch an episode.

MOVIESWaking Life - Essentially an intro to philosophy class, this movie is really, really good. Waking Life follows the main character through a number of dreams meeting different people and discussing everything from the purpose of the universe, to relationships, to the meaning of life. I highly suggest getting a little stoney and letting the trippy animation and deep intellectual conversations wisk you off to your own little place where you can learn more about life. Not that I've done that or anything...

BOOKSA Short History Of Nearly Everything - Written by Bill Bryson, this is an excellent book. Basically, the title explains what the book is about... a history of nearly everything. From the creation of the cosmos, to a discussion of how old the world is, to Volcanoes and everything in between, this book takes what you've read in science books and puts it into a very readable and entertaining novel. I'm about 3/4's of the way through the book, and it's outstanding. Read it.

MUSIC

RX Bandits - The RX Bandits released a new CD a couple days ago... and it sounds like it will be fantastic. You're probably not familiar with the RX Bandits, but trust me, they're awesome. If you like Sublime you'll like the Rx Bandits.

Anyway, check out their website (www.rxbandits.com). They have a handful of songs on the left in their "Music Player" so that you can familiarize yourself with their music. Their new songs "Crushing Destroyer" and "Only For The Night" sound awesome, and I'm sure the rest of the CD will as well. They have CDs available only on their website, and they're $14 including shipping and handling.

While we're here...

Noob Sports Offensive Text Message Of The Week - goes to David Daniel Gutierrez, a long time friend of the Noob Sports family and protector of our freedoms. He sent me this shocker after the USA lost to Ghana.

"Too bad we're not Arab... we could have started a Jihad over that (penalty) call. Pity, as I have many guns."

(SEL tugging at shirt collar)

Noob Sports Quote Of The Week - goes to my roommate Tom. Well known for his quick wit and angry remarks, he delivered this gem while watching the France vs. Switzerland soccer game. A Frenchman was on the ground writhing in pain, and trainers were attending to him.

"Awwwwww, waaaaaaah! Why don't you just pour some wine on him, and he'll be fine.... FUCKING PUSSY!"

has anyone else noticed that Dom actually was already on tv, starring in a true life episode on MTV, the Jersey Shore one, in which "Dom" was a meat headed construction worker who partied on the beach every weekend.

Entourage, which is a great show, is great for three reasons. 1) Piven. 2) Johnny Drama. 3) Because it really, really makes you wish one of your friends would hit it big enable you to live the lifestyle about which one could only dream.

But come on, best show on tv? Best show ever? I mean, half of the main crew are cardboard(Vince and E). Try watching the show that precedes it if you want to get into a "best show on tv" conversation.

The guy who plays Dom (worst episode of the series) is also a main character on the show The Wire, which if you want to actually see the best show ever made, you would do well to watch. Everyone has sex with The Sopranos, but The Wire is more engaging, authentic, rewarding, dramatic, intense, entertaining, and bad-ass than David Chase could ever hope his inferior show could be. Seriously, check it out. You won't be disappointed.

Finally, great work on this site. If you posted more often, I'd probably check it before deadspin.

I agree that Entourage is awesome for the reasons you stated. 'E' might not be a very diverse character, but he plays his part perfectly. I agree with you on Vince that he's kind of blah, but he's such a hawtie how can you not like him?

As far as the other HBO shows you mentioned are concerned, here are my thoughts. 'The Wire' is great. I, like Nate, watched season 1 and loved it (in fact, I think we watched a lot of it together at Old Style).

I also love Deadwood. Unfortunately, I am about 4 episodes into season 2, and haven't caught any of the new ones. It's a great show.

Here is how I rank the HBO shows (obviously I'm being super-subjective here):

1. Entourage - No contest.2. Sopranos - Yes I know everybody has sex with the show, but I really enjoy it.3. The Wire - Would probably pass The Sopranos if I watched more of it (which I really should)4. Deadwood - See above... I enjoy The Wire more though. Plus I was thoroughly devastated when Wild Bill Hickock died (yes I know the show is historically accurate, but Wild Bill is a fucking legend). 5. Curb Your Enthusiasm - A Wildly underrated show, very entertaining. 6. Ali G Show - hit or miss... when it's on, it's out of this world. When it misses... boy does it miss.7. Everthing else that I catch occasionally (Carnivale, Six Feet Under, Sex And The City, etc.)35. Big Love - Just a shocker of a show, garbage television at it's worst.

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