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June 29, 2007

One feels quite helpless when this eerie sensation of feeling totally lost in a whirlpool of ghastly unanswerable questions takes over ones feeble mind. However fate has its own way of adding spice to a zillion such moments! It’s a pitiable sight when a modest group of adolescents are trying their level best to scrape out their way through the gamut of mind numbing math questions. And adding up to their worries is the master of all mind benders… enter CAT.

So me and my friend are the slaves of the same master. Trying our level best to at least make it to the coaching classes on time, so that the guilt of not trying our level best doesn’t bother. The countdown had left us with roughly four wholesome months to prepare for the terror of all lives… “CAT”! I know, its not that bad. But poor me and my poor friend have no hopes. But why let go when you have enough stamina to hold on to the rope. So we decided to attend all classes at least to give our conscience some relief. Struggling our way through the busy and merciless traffic of Pune roads, we were trying to find an auto-rickshaw to drop us at the institute right on time. Somehow managing through the rains, we ended up in the classroom exactly 15 minutes late. The class seemed to have taken aback upon our untimely entry. But then we meekly descended towards a corner where me and my pal tried to camouflage ourselves into an unfamiliar group of students. Probably the familiar faces had chosen to bunk their way out of this to-be disaster of all classes.

All this while my heart was screaming out to God, “Please don’t let this class be a quantitative ability class!”. But the rains seemed to have drenched my prayers. There stood before us a supercomputer with a storage capacity to hold a database of the selected chosen questions, whose answers were probably left behind solely by the almighty Albert Einstein, being bombarded at us poor souls. Somehow my comprehension was off for a six for this particular class. Leave alone understanding the solutions, my brain turned its face away even from comprehending the questions themselves. Amazingly all students seem to be bright enough to come up with answers and had “Probably” schemed up something to make me feel like a royal dunce in this particular class. Trying to pacify my scared soul I turned a glance towards my friend, my ray of hope. Seemed like she was in the same situation as I was. She returned back my glance with a pair of confused eyes which just managed to save me from committing suicide. Grinding my teeth in jealousy of those who managed to save themselves from this really catastrophic class, I managed myself alive through the class.

Completely drained by the end I vented my frustration by digging into a scrumptious submarine. Truly! There is nothing like food in this world that can really cheer you up in times of real crisis like this. Completely fulfilled and rejuvenated after the wholesome dinner, both of us marched our way back home. The class had completely opened my eyes and shook my soul. Promising myself to work harder, I reached my hostel room. But to reinforce the authenticity of this promise I had to sit down and start studying. And it surely did make me feel a lot better too. The feeling of being an idiot and not knowing anything had embarrassed my soul to the extent that no voice was escaping my throat. My concentration was at its peak, when my sweet little devil friend barged into my room. “Anisha! We attended the wrong class today!” she shrieked. She had just had a talk with one of our batch members.My fingers let go off the pen that I was holding. My brain did a somersault. The past few hours came crashing back when we realized that that evening we had managed to attend a math tutorial for the engineering students!!!But truly, what had happened was the funniest thing that had happened in a very long time and just managed to lighten my heart which was so burdened by the sorrow of clearing the CAT.

June 16, 2007

It just struck me one evening, while I was gazing outside my 6th floor apartment window at the lightning and thunder in the dark skies, as to god’s miracles are ubiquitous. In the fast pacing lives of today no one has the patience or time to stop by and think about them. But some people (like me) do sometimes come across thoughts which they are usually too lazy to share or pen down somewhere for others to bump into them and ponder over! And I think writing is a good habit, so here it goes…Well the word “Apocalypse” literally means the lifting of the veil. So it quite flatters the actual understanding of the word. It technically refers to the unveiling of God, in his guise as the Messiah. Now such terminology materializes in all religions in different outlines, for example in Hindus its considered the ‘Pralay’.

As of now, I have no idea whether such a day will come in the near (or far !) future, or will I be a witness to it or is it just a belief or a myth. But when you come to think of it, it does make sense. After all, all things have an end… and so does the world. Doesn’t it? Some people take it like a waste of time to ponder over the future so distant and unpredictable and some take this thought as a fun spoiler. Now come on! Who wants to bother about negative aspects like these and worry for nothing. Life is not about worrying any ways! But I feel this issue is worth a thought.

I wonder whether it’ll be a slow painful process or just a millisecond long “KABOOM!” I know its not funny… but the latter seems much better right? There wont be survivors claiming to say… “Been there, seen that”! No 24*7 news updates flashing headlines on after effects. No fundraiser concerts or T.V shows for survivors. No politicians to give or share sympathies. No compensations. No mourning. No grief. No pain. No dreams. No goals. ‘Coz it’s the “END”! Does give shivers down the spine, doesn’t it? Actually its God’s way of saying “Game Over!”Its hard to imagine billions n trillions of dreams being crumpled away and never being realized again! The billions of expecting mothers never getting what they are expecting, millions of aspiring youths never accomplishing their goals. A zillion souls with a fire to do something in this world and never proving their worth. The wait of crores for something they’ve waited for ages probably will finally be over with nothing in return. How weird are the ways of God? Who knows what the great plan of God is for mankind. Maybe it’s the curiosity that kills the cat.

There are so many things man is unaware of, that exist around him or “maybe” above him! His constant greed to outdo nature and overlooking the finer things in life will maybe satisfy his ego but eventually take its toll on him. There will be a time when God will get tired of giving signs and run out of last warnings. Perhaps that’s the day not much awaited and not well thought of.No matter, how many people read this piece of thought and consider it, or maybe just ignore it, the fact remains the same… the day will surely come. Perhaps a few years from now, perhaps next month, perhaps tomorrow or maybe this instant! But I surely don’t want to be a witness to it. I want to be remembered, thought of and be present even when I am not there. I don’t have a clue what He has in mind for me… or for anyone, but I know something is surely cooking!