MAN OF THE DAY

Fernando Torres kept it consistent by again taking one step forward then 12 back. His cracking goal and properly diabolical lunge on Mark Gower secured another weekend's headlines

RUNNER-UP

Demba Ba broke his Newcastle duck with a hat-trick. Alan Pardew said his slow start at the club was due to a lack of eating. "It was Ramadan. But now he looks terrific"

IMPRESSION OF THE DAY

Phil Jones marauded forward against Stoke like a cross between Franz Beckenbauer and Juggernaut from X-Men. Once he gets going, good luck to anyone in his way

PUNDIT OF THE DAY

Jamie Redknapp declared that David Silva "literally floats around the pitch". Manchester City might have more money than everyone else, but surely even they don't have enough cash to buy each player their own magic carpet

BEST FASHION STATEMENT

Mario Balotelli celebrated his new shaved-pattern haircut with a goal. So is the run-over-by-a-car look a self-mocking nod to the reports earlier this year that he has clocked up over £10,000 in parking fines? Maybe. Maybe not

STAT OF THE DAY

Peter Crouch became only the sixth player to score for six different clubs in the Premier League after his Stoke equaliser against Manchester United

HARDEST REF

14: Number of red cards Martin Atkinson has shown in the Premier League since the start of 2010-11 – more than any other official. Blackburn's Martin Olsson went for two yellows: one for a foul, one for dissent

PLUS: ANSWERED QUESTION

Can David de Gea do it on a Saturday evening in Stoke? Not entirely. Handled himself well but was no match for a flying Crouchy