Jeremy Bilding: “I Am Retired”

Written by Zach June 1st, 2011

Last Friday night, while attending a pre-Grabbys party in Chicago, Jeremy Bilding revealed to The Sword that he had retired. But! There’s a twist.

The bad news is that you won’t be seeing Jeremy Bilding’s dick inside of other men anymore. The good news is that you can still see it inside of women. While Jeremy will no longer shoot gay porn, he’ll continue working in straight porn, where he performs as Ryan Driller. Jeremy’s crossover success and his refusal to label himself as gay or straight has been gasoline on the fire for those opposed to “gay-for-pay” porn stars, but the controversy hasn’t hurt–in fact it likely helped–his career; he’s worked steadily on both sides of the industry since early 2008.

Jeremy was nice enough to satisfy one more gay man by answering some of my questions below, and if you’ve ever seen his blog, you know that he likes to go on, and on, and on, and on, and on. But that’s one of the things I’ve always loved about him (I also loved his penis and the fact that he never bottomed). So, goodbye forever, Jeremy, sort of!

The Sword: Why leave gay porn and stay in straight porn as opposed to leaving straight porn and staying in gay porn?Jeremy Bilding: I just simply felt it was time. I had always said that I would stop doing it when the phone stopped ringing, when it wasn’t fun anymore, or when I just felt it was time. I never intended to be in the industry for a “long” time to begin with. Having stayed around for as long as I have is a total honor. About six months ago, as my straight persona was rapidly growing, I simply got that feeling that it was time. So, I filmed my last scenes, unbeknownst to my directors, producers and co-stars. My decision to stay on in straight porn really comes from my initial desire and intentions when I pursued porn. I just felt that it was time to really move on to the next chapter in my story and focus on that side of the industry at this time.

Gay porn pays men more than straight porn does, so how will this affect your income?
Absolutely it will affect my income. But, I’m a simple man; as long as I can make my bills and have a place to call home, I’m a happy man. That being said, being a performer in porn, on either side, doesn’t particularly make you a grip of money.

Who were some of your favorite scene partners?
Genuinely, this is one of the hardest questions to answer. I’ve had so many great scene partners, that were all so drastically different, that it’s hard to even compare to “best” any of them. But, my most memorable scene partners were:

Chi Chi LaRue- Because, let’s be honest, she really molded the Jeremy that was out there; not to mention, if you’ve been on her sets, she is more a scene-partner in your scene than anyone on camera.

Will you still keep the Jeremy Bilding persona on Twitter and at events?
Of course I will be keeping my Jeremy Bilding persona. I’m not disappearing into oblivion. I’ve been dabbling and learning a great deal of production and directing, and am trying to transition on to that side of the industry. All I’ve stopped doing is performing as a “Porn Performer.” I’m picking back up my writing, and a couple other outlets where you may find Jeremy showing up. I’ll probably still be at events. And, you never know, I may be your PA, director or producer on future sets. Just, after my last seven scenes are released, you won’t see “Jeremy Bilding” in the cast credits anymore.

Does this mean you’re officially straight now?
The question that has “haunted” my entire career…

To be totally honest, I have never not been “officially straight.” Yes, I am straight. I always have been. I feel that I always will be, despite what many people will believe. I poorly skirted around that subject for the past three years, because I didn’t want to give any fans a specific quote to crush their fantasies.

I still encourage every one of my viewers to believe what they want about my sexuality and my persona; that’s the point of my scenes and that was the point to my career. Fantasize about me and my scenes as the personality and person you want me to be. I was never here to revolutionize sex and how you felt about your porn stars. I was here for you to release your desires and fantasies in a safe and comfortable setting for you. If I inspired any of you in any facet, that is sprinkles and cherries on top of it all.

I refuse to say or let anyone say that “I wanted to go out on top” or “I went out on top,” because that is absolutely not the case at all. I went out when it was time. Another performer, ironically, had stated that he was going to put together a “Class of 2011″ montage thing with a collaboration of performers. The irony, is that is exactly how I felt about my “retirement”–I graduated. It was time for me to make way for the incoming boys, and let them take over.

I cannot thank everyone enough who has been there throughout my time in front of the camera: T-Ball, my first fan and friend; Amy, one of the friendliest and greatest fans/friends and Den Moms we could ask for; Twitter friends “PornBiatch” and “Skekoa,” the two people who pushed me to be more than just a pretty face, and “ChrisM799,” who debated and respected so many heated topics amongst our industry with me; Cody Cummings, for teaching me how to pace myself and work the system a little; Chi Chi and Jake, for teaching me about the industry and how to really be a performer and not just some model; Tommy Stone and Laura, for showing me more of the industry than you’ll ever know you did; Ash Camerazzi, for being my partner in crime; Austin Wilde and Ryan Raz, for showing and playing with me as we figured out “How Do We Make This Happen (Patron)”; NextDoorStudios for really starting it all that fateful St. Patrick’s day week in 2008; and of course the fans–thank you for being you and for showing that you wanted me around.

Of course I have to thank every director I’ve ever worked with: Brian, Sunny, Stephen, Jake, Tracy, Jasun, Chi Chi, Doug, John, Jett, Chris, Mocha, Steve, mr. Pam, April and the others whose names I have briefly forgotten right now (asshole moment). I couldn’t have done it without you.

To every co-star I’ve worked with, thank you for being there for me.

To all the bloggers who have helped create and push me on your readers, thank you for everything there.

To Zach, who has always been there to support and defend me, I do consider you more of a friend than a “faceless” name in cyberspace. Thank you for all you’ve done, and will do for all of us in this industry.

Most importantly, to Howard Andrew, the best uncle anyone could have in this industry. I say uncle, because only your uncle would push you to do half the stuff we do, be there to bail us out when we need it, and none of us are afraid to go to for advice, or with our tails between our legs. Howard, your dedication and compassion for your boys is surpassed by no one else. From the moment I met you in NYC to when I called you that day to help me and rep me, and cater to my high-maintenance needs and demands. I am forever in your debt with my gratitude and loyalty in an attempt to be half the man you are to us all.

With that, I’ll cut myself off from rambling on anymore…and say that “I went out as a Top” (please read in the joke it’s meant to be) ;-)

I see just as many straight male porn stars moaning about lack of work on Twitter as I do gay ones, and I assume the opportunity to cut the competition down especially if they’ve done gay porn is there and prevalent.

While I agree with Alan that this interview is classy and makes me appreciate him, I can say with assurance I never ever got aroused on a scene of his. Attractive? Yeah although not *that* hot but his performances were very dull. And I am sorry Zach but the fact you like the fact he never bottomed is troublesome to me. I don’t have a problem with people who top only on film but I do have a problem with people who make a point of it. It offends me … as if there is something “lower” about bottoming.
But I won’t hate because he proved himself to be incredibly gracious and he did manage the hatred in the straight world with incredible loyalty to the gay side which is to his credit.
Not my favorite porn performer but definitely a good guy from what I can tell. So good luck to him.

And you picked the perfect picture by using one from Lucas Entertainment. Lucas Entertainment whose head, Michael Lucas claims he knows for a fact that Blacks are more homophobic.

WRONG!

As I’ve said before, it’s not as profitable for Blacks to internalize their homophobia such as whites like Jeremy Bilding has in order to work for things like Michael Lucas, Chi Chi LaRue, Jake Cruise, and others.

So with Jeremy Bilding’s internalized homophobia, where is he going to direct it now that he’s no longer allowing himself the “excuse” of gay porn anymore?

Loved the fact he never bottomed? Hum. I am not sure if I should be offended. I think he did not want the stigma that would have come along with it. However, it may have loosened him up…literally! He is beautiful, but always seemed like they were waiving his paycheck just beyond the frame.

I totally called it. He is on the PWL hit list for his role in the Axel Braun movie. Because he filmed gay scenes, especially bareback, and he escorts it will be MUCH harder for him to find straight work.

I say good luck and could you try and ask that you convince the rest of the gay4pay trash to go with you.

You sure did Alex. Interesting he says “about six months ago my straight persona was rapidly growing”. Other then the two times he played Superman, the only things he pops in for the most part are low rent straight productions where they pay the male mopes almost nothing. Also back when Patient Zeta broke, one of the bigger porn agents sent out a letter to other agencies advising them not to work with talent that had shot gay porn in the last six months. I wouldn’t be surprised if he timed his last gay scene six months ago so he could say he hasn’t hasn’t shot gay porn in over six months in order to try and get more work. Ironically this same agent has two girls on his roster that he regularly books for Next Door Hookups and started in gay porn himself.

Unless he has some kind of other income coming in straight porn isn’t going to pay the bills, he will have to get some kind of non porn job or continue to escort for men (which will hurt his straight porn career) I can’t see him having much success in the straight porn industry other then in the low rent stuff he does now (the Porno Dan type work) and that isn’t enough to pay the bills. Will Ryder the other big director of the straight porn parodies said publicly that he wouldn’t hire Driller/Bilding. I see a dumpy studio apartment in Canoga Park in his future. Cal/Osha may be coming closer to making condoms mandatory on all porn sets in California so a move may be in his future.

For all the screeching he and Tucker Scott did on twitter about PWL both went silent about it once more personal details about them started popping up.

@Alex. Do you even know what you’re talking about? No you dont. Just because something isnt released yet doesn’t mean he isn’t shooting content on the straight side or that it isn’t already in the can. If you are going to leave a comment pretending to know things about his new and past career then do your research.

First off, I wasn’t attacking either of them merely stating the homophobic way the crossover performers are looked upon. He isn’t like Seth Gamble or Chris Stokes who did a few lackluster internet scenes. He was in major productions from major studios and even had a dildo molded under the name Jeremy Bilding. Sorry, but he will always be seen as a crossover performer.

You also shouldn’t assume to know what I might to might not know. The comments I made are from what I know to be true, what I know about how things work behind the scenes, and also what I know has happened in the past. It is called a logical deduction. Sometimes a person can make a logical deduction, like I might deduce that you are Tommy Stone from your name and the way you defended your friends, against what you thought was an attack, and not take offense since I admire loyalty.

I don’t have any issues with Jeremy or you. I have issues with the gay porn industry allowing straight men to shit all over and the straight porn industry’s homophobia. I would like nothing better than for the two industries to allow performers the freedom to move between them but that is the straight side’s issue more than the gay side.

Jeremy waited until he was leaving gay porn to definitively state his sexuality. Why? Because he want the straight side to know. He hasn’t been concerned with gay men questioning his sexuality. Now it needs to be clearly defined since he wants to work on the straight side? I’ll say again I have nothing against him, personally. I don’t care for any of the gay4payers that play that “I’m just sexual” game. It’s bullshit.

I loathe gay4pay just as much as you but I think you are being slightly unfair to him here. As stated above, I have never been a fan of his but you have to give him credit that unlike many of the other crossover guys (or those who hoped to crossover) that shall remain nameless, he has been incredibly respectful of his gay work. Long after he was cast in those big straight productions, he has kept attending gay events and to my knowledge never said a bad word about the gay side of the industry. He seems even grateful!
Yes, it is an absolute disgrace how eager the industry is to hire straight guys who obviously don’t enjoy gay sex and even probably loathe it a little internally but if they are to hire guys like that, I would much rather they hire someone like Bilding who is very gracious about it and has not felt the need to throw his straightness in our face while he was active. You seem to be angry he waited until now to say it clearly that he was straight but frankly reading interviews of active gay porn performers who feel the need to remind you they are really straight four times every paragraph is much more insulting to me. I blame the studios for enabling jerks with internalized homophobia but Jeremy Bilding really does not seem to be that kind of person.

It’s too bad he never bottomed. I always hoped that someday, he’d get a good old-fashioned pounding from someone. He could have saved it for his last video and had the suspense build up until then. It would have been great to see him be paired up with Cody Cummings in his last video, and have Cody top and Jeremy bottom. That would have been two firsts in one video!

I guess his bottoming premiere will be right around the time rent is due for the month of October, if not sooner.
Never watched one of his movies as he never appealed to me, and I can’t say I’ll miss him in the crowd.

The nicest thing about this I can write him leaving gay porn is “Good Riddance”. I don’t hate much, but him I did. The sooner he’s forgotten the better and I hope he has a good career in straight porn so he never is coming back.

A gay for pay guy like Jeremy Bilding leaving gay porn is kinda like when you hear that a right-wing Republican has left politics, initial happiness followed by disappointment when you realize there are lots of republicans ready to fill his shoes and there are even more idiots ready to support him.

There is nothing wrong with being “gay-for-pay” or “straight-for-pay.” Life is short and sex is fun.

There’s only something wrong if you deceive people about what you like the most or who you really are — from the closet cases to the heterosexually oriented models who don’t think we can handle the truth that they prefer chicks.

As for the gay terrorists who think everyone that has gay sex must also have a gay orientation — go fuck yourselves. At least you’ll always know you were with a gay guy.

Jeremy has a great dick and he conveyed a convincing amount of pleasure and passion in his gay performances. They’re hotter than 80% of other gay-for-pay models who can’t get hard or have fun.

Gavin honey time to get some therapy to deal with your borderline psychotic self loathing issues. Gay terrorists Gavin, I think that term comes from GOProud or some other awful gay republican organization.

A few points dear.

1.) There are producers who tell new models to say they are straight and tell them if they don’t do so they won’t get more work by either them a number of other companies. It’s about marketing yourself.

2.) Argue all you want, but in the real world, almost no one will believe that someone who took a bunch of dicks in their ass, mouth, or ate a bunch of assholes in film to be preserved for all time is straight. Especially with what is being paid now by most companies.

3.) A lot of people don’t share you view on his performances or his looks. That is OKAY and but your histrionic meltdown over a gay porn star isn’t.

4.) Most straight men would never think of doing gay porn for any kind of $$$, that is a fact so it is natural to question someone’s sexuality when they have their face buried in another mans asshole.

5.) If you think the comments here about G4P performers are bad, then why don’t you check what is being written about them over at porn wikileaks, luke is back, XPT, GFY. These are are praises compared to what is written over there and guess what, those comments are written by straight men, so are those people “straight terrorists”. Judging by your over the top anger about gay people I’m guessing the answer is no.

I don’t think it’s view his or anyone else’s retirement with cynicism, since many of them come back or at least try and come back. Nor do I think it’s odd that people question how successful someone will be in the straight porn industry when there are many things he has going against him. After Patient Zeta, the straight industry scapegoated performers that are currently or had in the past worked in gay porn. It was done on twitter, on industry webboards, blogs and now the infamous PWL where not only are their legal names revealed but the names of their family members, their family members social media profiles, and addresses. The harassment of James Jamesson wasn’t done by “gay terrorists” it was done by straight industry people who don’t want gay??? men working in straight porn. With no universal testing in gay porn like there is in the straight industry, some of the concerns have merit to them. Patient Zeta may be a big catalyst in the entire porn industry having to use condoms in all of their productions gay/straight/tanny/bi. Personally, I think all porn show be condom only and a big chunk of the gay industry does as well. The straight industry however, is vehemently against it and feel it will destroy an already sagging bottom line and drive porn production out of California, and Burts and the other guys that dabble in both sides of the industry are the ones that are being blamed for it.

“Convincing amount of pleasure and passion”? Have you watched his work? The majority of it had a robotic feel to it…especially his bareback stuff. The penis was erect, the eyes were open, but no one was home. If you are not going to be in the moment, then don’t do porn. It may just be fucking in front of a camera, but give your audience the courtesy of being “present” in the scene.

Jeremy, words can’t really express how great it’s been to meet you, work with you and know you.

Whether it was shooting you fucking a guy, trying to dodge your ticklish feet when I had to clean them, drinking in that bar late at night in New York when it was just you and me and the bartender, putting together IKEA Furniture or just having a laugh at whatever event we were at, you were always someone who made so many great memories better.

I think we all knew that this day was going to come when you’d move on to just straight porn and kinda like Bob Dylan’s fans felt when he plugged in an electric guitar for the first time, some fans won’t be able to see your old work the same now. Pity, you always put on an amazing performance and always made everyone on set feel great. The most popular scene we did together was the one where you made Parker London cum three times but my favorite is still the “Tickle Torture Teabag” which started out with you and Kelly tickling each other’s feet and then later you fucked him until he blew his load without touching himself. I just remember laughing so hard that day I almost coughed up a lung.

Congratulations on the first part of your career… hope the second is as much fun for you.

Parker and Jeremy were about as perfect a match as I could think of. Within about a minute, they were joking around and finishing each other’s sentences like two guys who’d been best friends for years. I didn’t have a crew on that scene so I had to keep running about the room moving and readjusting lights and while I was doing that the two of them just kept laughing and telling jokes.

The best thing about that scene was that Parker actually came three times. Jeremy’s dick is famous for it’s shape, being just a bit thinner at the base and how it curves in such a perfect way that it hits the guys right in “the spot.” Even guys not used to bottoming love to bottom for Jeremy. Kelly Taylor blew his load in about 4 minutes without even touching himself.

If Zach will be so kind to let me link this, here’s a BTS video we shot while shooting that scene…

I, uh, am not seeing what all the sturm und drang about Jeremy Bilding is about. He seemed to be a pretty egalitarian partner, aside from not bottoming. Which is fair, some people just don’t like stuff up their butts. Nobody busts on Spencer Reed for not bottoming.

He could, when properly directed, create a really nice sexual dynamic. And he was pretty cute.

Nothing against Jeremy, but I honestly don’t see him getting much of a career on the straight side of the industry.

You see, the guys at Pornwikileaks (who are straight) are pretty intent on their crusade against cross over performers. And they are succeeding pretty well. Sites who used to hire cross over performers, like Naughty America and Bangbros, will not longer do it.

Top sites, like Brazzers, Vivid, etc. didn’t even do it to begin with.

Unless he finds work in the bottom of barrel studios out there, his chances are pretty slim.

Actually, his most noteworthy straight sector role was for Vivid. They were the producers & distributors for Superman XXX. And, failing his run at mainstream straight porn, several of the indie/female-lead porn productions work with talent who have worked in the gay sector before. Jeremy has the looks to appeal to a female audience, so I imagine there will always be some kind of work for him. Maybe not a great amount of it, but perhaps it’s time for him to start making plans for a larger scale exit.

I was going to say the point that out about Vivid. It was also before Porn Wiki Leaks and Patient Zeta so I guess it remains to be seen. Vivid has become a joke with the ridiculous offers to “celebs” to do porn (Pippa Middleton, Octomom, Amber Portwood, Carrie Prejean)and now they have brought back wrestler Chyna to do porn. God how much does it suck to read about Vivid “offering” Pippa Middleton $5 million to do a porn when you are making less then $1K to do way more then what Vivid is asking some of these “celebs” to do. Naughty America I think may be scaling down their male talent to just a handful for their sites. There is one guy who did quite a bit of work for them a few years ago (Gabriel D’Allesandro) who now regularly turns in in SX Video productions and other bareback companies.

Remember when PLAYGIRL offered Ricky Martin money to pose nude for them last year or when Michael Lucas wanted to have infamous reality TV douche Spencer Pratt in one of his movies? I believe these offers are more PR than meant to be serious.

You may be nice but you are a typical straight guy who got his whole start in gay and than dumped it as soon as you got discovered by vivid.. keep making crappy movies for them we do not need more boring gay for pay actors

Jeremy-Bilding leaving gay-porn 4 str8 it’s party time so get over it al-ready.Jeremy-Bilding he’s full of his own bull-shit the only reason Jeremy-Bilding aka Ryan-Driller decided 2 stay on the str8 side of the porn-indusrty is because of the homophobic website Porn-wikileaks exposing cross-over male porn stars like him.As well as other str8 porn website & blogs ratting these guys out 2 the str8-porn industry about their work in gay-porn if it wasn’t 4 that a lot of these guys would continue 2 work both sides of the porn industry gay & str8 2 make more money but they can’t because str8-porn won’t let them do it.Just ask some other guys who recently tried 2 cross-over 2 str8-porn & fail badly & other who came back 2 gay-porn because they couldn’t make enough money fucking bitches in str8-porn.As 4 Jeremy-Bilding aka Ryan-Driller this from a guy who’s been telling difference lies about his sexuality every since he’s been in gay-porn he never gave a str8 answer about his sexuality until now why because he want do str8-porn full time now & retire from gay-porn.That don’t make-up 4 all the time he played mind games with his sexuality while did gay-porn as far as money goes he knows he won’t be making the kind of money in str8-porn he made in gay-porn guys make less in str8 & more in gay-porn but if he can’t make enough money fucking bitches in str8-porn than he better get a part-time job.2 support his income because I don’t want see him on some gay escort site trying 2 leech off of gay mens 4 money & then try 2 lie about it in order 2 stay in str8-porn.No thank you I don’t want see his str8-porn films or on the gay-side during porn events either he is a G4P liar let make his money off of str8-porn not gay mens he’s not our problem he’s their now let them deal with him end of story.

I don’t know why this tool is constantly trying to remind himself (and everyone else) that he’s straight.

Sorry, he’s not and for the reasons outlined above! He’s sucked more cock than most hookers on Sunset Blvd., but still thinks he’s straight…it is to laugh. The real reason is he was considered suspect zero in the recent AIDS scare and many starlets won’t work with him. He’ll be back to cocksucking very soon. He won’t be able to work much in straight porn. The women won’t work with him…he’s too well known in gay porn.

Good riddance. I hate really beautiful gay-for-pay guys who steal all the work from real gay guys. And he promoted the double standard of doing bareback with women and not with men, which makes me feel like a disease. I like gay porn that doesn’t make me feel bad about being gay.

Saw him tonight at the gay film festival with Steven Daigle. The two are perfect for each other. They both have the double standard of barebacking with women. Steven should also retire and go off in the sunset hand and hand with him and they can bareback each other.

Wow you guys were rough on Jeremy. Well, if he never makes another porn (gay or straight) I think he’ll always make his rent. He was a model and a beautiful one at that before all this porn stuff happened. He can always fall back and use his real name…. Good luck Jeremy (*_~)

Too late to have this ever read but my big question is: what part of a three letter word (GAY) those dickheads don’t understand? “Straight persona”, quit making a fool of yourself! There is not such a thing as “homosexual acting”. The sex engagement between two of the same sex, is by all meanings HOMOSEXUAL. You cannot say you are not homosexual while a dick is pounding deep into your ass. I have many friends that discuss freely sexual situations and sensations. Straight friends, some are very frank about it and state that if the right opportunity at the right moment would present ifself, they probably would try same sex engagement. Others say, clearly also that they could not ever cross that barrier. Not because of prejudice but simply because is not in their NATURE!!! And I understand that totally also.
It is not in my nature to have sexual desire for women and although I had sex with women, I never lied to them that I was a gay man. And always, always I returned to men. It’s my nature! That said, if these “gay for pay” existed really, what I seriously doubt, they would not be vomiting (as Malachi arx declared recently in an interview) after something so “unimportant” as a gay sex scene: they vomit because their emotions run face foward against their façade of real machos. You cannot ever play with your body so much and have that not reverberating into your soul and mind. They vomit out of disgust, yes they do, but they are mainly disgusted about themselves, their coward selves who cannot admit they love the forbidden fruit even more than the money they receive. Poor disgraced souls!
Gay meant happy but these idiotic guys make it into another three letter word: SAD! They are sad to be gay and play the act of “migrating to straight” to save their selfloathing from coming out.

I kind of wish people would stop bitching and saying nasty things about this man. I think the guy was massively respectful in what he said and how he left. He didn’t pull a Malachi Marx and say “I puked after my first sex scene with a man”, he didn’t go on an anti-gay porn rant and instead he actually complimented his first male sex partner. I am not a big fan of gay for pay, but I appreciate the way this man bowed out. He didn’t feel like he had to take gay people down a peg or two when he did it and instead of bashing us, he has thanked us. I have respect for this guy.

Thank you. People are misplacing their anger with the industry towards someone who seems to be very respectful and grateful to us and our support of his career. I never thought he was gay, because he would never cum from fucking and it would usually take awhile for him to beat off, but nonetheless, he hasn’t been nearly as repulsive in exiting as other performers leaving.

I never thought he was robotic. The very first time I saw him perform was with a woman and I saw his first scene with a man (Patrick Rouge) and he identified as straight, even then. I love how the gay guy above your comment says that you can’t not be gay when somebody is pounding your ass (despite Jeremy not bottoming anyway) but in the same rant says he has had sex with women but isn’t straight. Cause that makes total logical sense….And fuck Malachi Marx with his bitch ass!