Just a guy with anxiety and his thoughts

Tag: antisocial

Hey guys I’m sorry about this I’m not in a good space lately. I’m feeling kinda drained out. I just don’t have the motivation or energy to do anything. I’m getting bored easily. I can’t sit still. It feels like I’m being pressured by my own mind. Over crowded with thoughts and makes me feel like I’m going insane. I don’t seem care about anything these days.

Can’t remember the last time I texted my friends without them texting me first. I’ve become so antisocial. I’m completely burnt out. All I want to do is sleep whole day and hope I wake up to a life where everything feels good. I don’t really know what caused me to fall back into depression but all I know is! I need to get a way from my job, home and just go on a holiday where I don’t have to think about anything.

Its feels I just wanna die right now! Crazy I know! This is kinda of an out bust but writing how I’m feeling when I’m feeling that way helps say the truth. Maybe I will get over this or maybe I won’t. Clearly I’m having a break down or some sort. Guess I’m saying is. Be patient with me.

Its been a while since I’ve been out and last night my friend was having a movie production meeting for a movie his doing and asked me to tag along. In the past I’d jump at the opportunity but now I’d have to think about it because they will be a lot new people there and that kinda makes me uncomfortable having anxiety an all. Anyway I did go.

Sure I went with close friends so that was just perfect because I had no problem making conversations with my friends.
Slowly people I haven’t met before started arriving at the meeting! In my mind was thinking “I don’t even have anything in common with these people because they doing a movie and I’m just a graphic designer not even as a career ,but I just love it and still don’t know! What am I doing here?”

Of course I felt intimidated but I wasn’t going to show it. I kind of learnt this technique from a youtube video on how to be more charismatic. Simply listen to what they saying and ask how, when why that happen etc to make yourself more engaging which I did. Sure on the outside I may of looked normal but on the inside I was nervous and anxious as hell!

There was times when I was thinking I wish I stayed at home in bed because I felt so strange meeting these new people. The thought of being rejected or what if I don’t hit it off or they don’t like me. These thought plays out in my mind you know.

After the meeting we all went out for coffee and of one the guys there was a movie director slash graphic designer and he showed me some of his work. A poster his done for a movie his doing and it was impressive but I thought I’d be more intimidate by it when I saw his work but I was actually hyped because I realised I don’t do graphic design to compete with other graphic designers. I do it because I have a passion for it.

On the up side of being out for coffee. The coffee shop was across a club called cuba lounge. The view was amazing women dressed half naked walking pass by me to get to club was all the motivation I need to get out more .

Still last night made me realise I need to work more on my social skills and get out more often. Unfortunately knowing myself I’m going to avoid going out for a while till I’m ready again to go out.

I’m sure you think this is a strange title for a post but I assure its true. I can’t remember the last time a friend or family member has called me. This exactly proves the theory of people becoming antisocial. The way we communication is using instant messengers like BBM or whatsapp to talk which gives us no reason to actually call.

To be honest using instant messengers makes me feel like I’m talking to strangers especially if you haven’t spoken to a friend in a long time. We say all we need to say on instant messengers right so that stops us from calling people. This is just my opinions I guess.

If it was your birthday would you rather have someone call you or text you? Text’s are fine but phone calls makes you actually feel like you talking to someone like they actually there. Maybe its just me whose starting to hate texting. All I know is texting made me a antisocial zombie and now I want live human contact interaction.

Explaination!

The best way I can put it is! Would you rather enjoy phone sex or real sex. Of course you choose real sex right! Because you get to interact physically. Life has become so static that we do not interact with one another but hide behind technology to do everything for us. No wonder people are so lazy and unfit its because we depend to much on technology.

Facebook to me was another world where I lived in. Today facebook is just another way to waste time. Nobody comments or writes on my facebook like they used too! People only seem to like my statuses which is a very lazy attempt, besides i mostly chat to my close friends on instant messengers like whatsapp or bbm. The reason i used to use facebook was to make new friends but its seems other people are not as open minded as I taught. People on social networks seem to be antisocial.

I been spending more time on my twitter these days so I guess I have some negative feeling towards facebook. The thing that ticks me of the most about facebook is when you add someone as friend and they accept your invite, when you write on they wall and they will ask you stupid questions. Well for example questions like? Do I know you. If you read their profile and say to them I see you into horror movies. Guess what they will think you stalking them, when you just read from they profile about their interests. I mean what the hell are profiles for then.

Facebook has its good and bad qualities. So I’m gonna sleep on it and think about weather or not to de-active my account. 🙂

Nerds? Why do people associate that as being uncool. Maybe it’s an american stereotype, I don’t know. Frankly I find nerds to be cool and rather interesting. I wish I was a nerd. Nerds are smart, brilliant, intellectual, tech savy, intelligent. Who wouldn’t want to be all that. If nerds was so uncool why is it that there is such a popular tv show like the big bang theory. Why? Because people can relate. Perhaps secretly people are nerds and maybe they hide they inner nerd to avoid social ridicule.

Here in south africa being a nerd isn’t much of an issue like in america. In south africa if you are a nerd! you will be everyone’s go to guy ,but sadly you will get used and abused for your skills. Because everyone wants to save and avoid spending money, for example a pretty girl next door doesn’t want to spend money to repair her computer, so she decides I’ll just use the nerd next door to do it for free.

I don’t buy the nerd stereotype. If being smart is a crime! Arrest me. Maybe nerds need to work on their physical appearance when it comes to clothes and glasses they wear! In my own way I’m nerdy and love comic books, comic book movies, technology and gadgets without the nerdy appearance. There’s nothing wrong with having an inner nerd, just know how you use it. I’ve seen lots of nerdy guys dating models and beautiful girls. If anything the radical of the nerds is over.

THE TRANSFORMATION, I AM A NERD!!!

It is an new era where nerds rule. Now days having the latest technology and gadgets is such a trend and without even knowing it people have become nerdy. Think about it? besides having technology and gadgets notice how people are socialising like nerds on social networks ,instant messengers, chatroom’s and being antisocial. So don’t you notice the change in you or are you afraid to say it out loud! I am nerdy.

Facebook used to be a great way to communicate but now days its just a tool to waste time. When facebook first came out, it was new and exciting. Has facebook lost its purpose? It would seem so. Facebook is more antisocial than I taught! because people only talk to people in their own social circles, and these people are the same friends they already have on their instant messengers like Whatsapp and BBM.

How boring is it to talk to the same friends everyday using these new technologies. I love using facebook to make new friends that are from around the world ,to find out what are people doing for fun in Japan, Canada or anywhere I haven’t been. Come on doesn’t it sounds more interesting reading a facebook friends status from another country than someone you know.

Its just seems to me that we abuse the technology because it has become apart of our daily lives. Today I logged in my facebook and was so annoyed about how stupid statuses people I know put! They status wasn’t even anything they wrote, it was quotes copied from twitter posts. Seriously you posting that as a status. Social networks are about sharing your own taught’s and to connect to world outside the one you already know. I’m sorry to say that people are just wasting valuable time stealing other people statuses! And quotes.

#From all I’ve written you can see why I hate facebook so much. I could go on about how I hate facebook but I think you get the point.

Hi guys, ladies and bloggers as you can see above you is a little comedy clip of me and my friend being anti social. Instead of chatting to each other we on our phones updating our facebook status. So watch this video and see the crazy stuff I get up to.

#ViDEO DAIRY PT1# «—and thanks ZAK for showing me this style. Its a cool way to end a blog post.