Tuesday, May 28, 2019

Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.

[Climate Change] “Being open to data, facts and science doesn’t make you a liberal. It makes you literate. Scientifically literate. It means you favor data, facts and evidence over conspiracy theories, manufactured misinformation, and cherry-picked industry spins.” Meteorologist Paul Douglas, who is an Evangelical Christian and wants to persuade his fellow Christians to accept the evidence for climate change. The quote in the meme comes via the article, but is originally from his recent book, Link

[Catholics Under Attack] Four people have been killed at a Catholic church in the north of Burkina Faso, west Africa – the latest in a series of attacks the government blames on Islamist militants. Eight armed men targeted the church in the town of Toulfé during Mass on Sunday. Earlier this month gunmen killed four people taking part in a Catholic procession just days after a priest and and five parishioners were shot dead in a church in the northern town of Dablo. Several jihadist groups have become increasingly active in Burkina Faso frequently attacking villages and towns in the east and the north of the country. Nearly 400 people are reported to have been killed since 2015.

I thought the neighbors might be interested in attending this meeting on Tuesday, May 28th about 1668 Bogie Drive (aka the old “Lower Keys Property Owners Association” building) located across the street from the Bill the Kayak Guy and the Old Wooden Bride fishing camp.

Dreaming of world peace and population control is Utopian, but it sure beats the nightmare of war.

[“High prices in the Keys”] I get a kick from people who use the old, “Well it has to be trucked down here so it costs more” excuse as to why things costs more in the Keys. Tell me where in this country do things not need to be shipped 150 miles from a major port of entry. Hell, we are closer to the port of Miami than most places in this country are to any major port. The real reason that things are higher here is that the sellers realize that you will not be traveling out of the Keys to make your purchases. Simple supply and demand assure that those who wish to take advantage of us will profit above and beyond for their trouble.

[“New boat gas station”] Strike Zone has been on that canal for over 20 years. Why all of a sudden are people complaining that the new owners are not thoughtful of their neighbors.

[Dive Bars] I’m done with dive bars. I’ve been attracted to them all my life. Three times-ago visiting a famous dive bar in Marathon I had bugs in my drink. The last time I was there I figured I could outsmart them and ordered a rum and coke. Rum–sealed bottle, coke–sealed container. What could go wrong? The ice had dirt in it! I’m done. Three strikes–you’re out!

[“Vietnam War”] Not only did Secretary McNamara lie about our enormous causalities, what’s even worse, President Johnson knew the war was lost long before the public did, yet he continued to kill American boys because of political concerns back home; he had legislation pending the would have been rejected if he ended the war at that time. So, he actually let hundreds, if not thousands, of Americans die in order to achieve some political thing at home. I think it was the Civil Rights Act, important, but not worth more lives

[Keys Disease] A woman was so intoxicated on drugs and/or alcohol in Key Largo Thursday night that when Florida Keys police asked her to call a friend or relative to pick her up, she held her hand up to her ear and had an extended conversation. Link

[Memorial Day] I watched the history of Vietnam yesterday and almost cried. Killing so many of our young for no good reason but politics was awful. Lying about it was unconscionable. They showed Nixon saying, “I will never listen to protesters [the youth of our nation–Americans], ever!” That’s how they thought in those days. History should have been respected because almost all of modern history’s great changes have begun with the young, educated kids.

I went to Vietnam in 2000 and learned the Vietnamese call it the “American War” and they lost 3,000,000 countryman.

I’m a self-made man, and I have the receipts from Home Depot to prove it.

[Books] Can’t any author write a book in chronological order? Every damned modern book of fiction I read is nothing but a jumble of jumping back and forth in time. Some even have two different stories jumping back and forth.

[Smile] People respond better to people’s smiles if that smile shows teeth.

[Technology] I was watching TV and playing with my cellphone on YouTube when I hit a strange button and, wow, the YouTube video was on my big screen Samsung TV.

[“Privacy”–What’s That?] Every time you ask Alexa, Siri, or Google Voice Search something, your voice and what you said are recorded for future use. Tech companies match your voice with your picture and your address book to form a complete picture of you.

[Politically Correct] Last night on “Midsomer Murders” they called a group of gypsies “Travelers” being politically correct in these days of touchy-feely goodness.

[Sewer Break] The force main takes wastewater from the Village of Islamorada to a treatment plant at mile marker 101.5 operated by the Key Largo Wastewater Treatment District as part of an inter-local agreement. It is the second time since March that the pipe burst in basically the same area. Link

[Conspiracy of the Week] People ask me if it would be possible for some unscrupulous developers to spread mold spores in the wind to get properties infected and buy them up cheap. Wow, I said, “You guys should stop drinking and smoking that stuff!” Then again, why couldn’t it happen? Some of these bums would do anything for profit.

[Jap Navy] This map of all sunken Japanese ships during WWII is absolutely mind-blowing. By the end of the war, however, the Imperial Japanese Navy lost 334 warships. This came at a cost of 300,386 sailors. That’s almost as many soldiers as the total fatalities the United States suffered during the entire war, and here we’re just talking about the Japanese Navy. Link

In 1830 a man was crucified in Mississippi. I thought that only happened in Bethlehem.

[“It has to be trucked down here so everything costs more”] That’s partially true because unlike the rest of America, trucks leave the Keys empty. We produce nothing and export nothing. So we have to pay for that empty truck going back up there.

Israel’s ofﬁcial calendar is the Hebrew one. According to Jewish counting, on September 24, 2014, we entered the Year 5775, that is – the supposed 5775th year since the world was created on Saturday night, October 6, 3761 BCE. Who told them that?

If I see one more person texting and driving, I’m going to roll my window down and throw my beer at them!

[$50 of Free Food] My receipt for Winn Dixie included a free $50 worth of groceries the next time I spend $50. I like that.

[“AirBnB”] A grandiose idea for landlords who can’t afford to live in the Keys and will sell or rent their souls for grub money. How low can you go? Why not just scrape off your property and make more trailer trash parking lots? In reality, the Keys never had any class anyway — ever! Will this happen on Shark Key too?