Tag Archives: sex appeal

When I write one of my sexy novel, I work hard on it. I really put my heart and soul into it. There are other feelings I put into it, but those are only part of a much greater effort that doesn’t always manifest in my pants.

The work we put into something is what gives it meaning to us. Even the laziest slob will concede to that. If my novels just magically conjured themselves while I was asleep, that would be wonderfully convenient. However, I don’t think I would be as passionate about them if I didn’t actually put the work into making them.

Take that work out of the equation and what does that change? That’s not a rhetorical question. That’s a serious inquiry because if we didn’t have to work so hard to get fit and beautiful, then are we going to approach fitness and beauty the same way? I believe we haven’t asked that question enough, but the answer is already out there.

When I mentioned recent research that promises drugs that allow users to enjoy the fruits of exercise without actually doing anything, I’m sure there were plenty of out-of-shape couch potatoes out there who got excited. I certainly wouldn’t blame them. The idea that we can all look like we spend two hours a day in the gym is pretty enticing.

However, that means that fit, toned body we all crave now would be much easier to get. You don’t really work for it. You just take a pill, sit back, and let science and biology do the rest. That kind of effort isn’t going to inspire much pride. Hell, that kind of effort is barely on par with brushing your teeth every day.

In a world where being fit is so common, would it really be considered that beautiful in a larger context? If everyone is beautiful, then is anyone truly beautiful? Doesn’t beauty require a certain variation that is difficult for most people to attain?

It’s akin to the inherent contradiction in thinking everyone is special. If you go by the dictionary definition of the word, the entire concept falls apart if you approach it that way. When everyone is unique in the same way, then they cease to be unique.

That raises another question that’s much harder to answer. In a world where everyone is fit and doesn’t need to exercise to incur its benefits, what will be considered beautiful? What will be considered sexy? As an aspiring erotica/romance writer, these kinds of questions are very serious.

That means the concept of what is sexually attractive will gain even greater importance. If everyone around you looks like an extra in a softcore porn movie, then how do you decide which one you want to hook up with? Could this create a paradox of choice situation where find ourselves unable to determine who rouses our loins?

It’s impossible to know since we don’t live in that world. However, unlike our beauty-minded ancestors, other aspects of future technology will impact this effort. Tools like CRISPR and smart blood will allow people to modify and enhance their bodies in ways no amount of exercise ever could.

However, those advances are still a way off. Before we advance to that point, people may have to improvise. It may require that people develop more unique fetishes, of sorts, which I’ve speculated on before. If you think the stuff in “50 Shades Of Grey” or furry conventions are kinky, then you might have to hold your jaw up in the future.

There’s only so much an aspiring erotica/romance writer can imagine. Even my kinky mind has its limits. Major technological advances, from antibiotics to contraception, have already had enormous impacts on our sex lives and how we go about forging romantic bonds. More advances are on the horizon. Some will hit harder than others.

That means there’s also a chance that there will be major drawbacks in a world where the benefits of exercise comes in pill form. Even if people are healthier and hornier, there may be large segments of society not equipped to handle that. It was a burning question in my book, “Skin Deep,” that did not get a complete answer. We probably won’t be able to answer that question until the technology arrives.

Whatever the case, for better or for worse, I will do my part to adapt my sexy stories accordingly. A world full of fit, healthy people is sure to change a great deal with respect to how we think of beauty, how we go about finding lovers, and how we make love.

However, our collective libido is nothing if not adaptive. It’s a big reason why the human race is the dominant species on this planet. That, in and of itself, is a thing of beauty whose form will continue to evolve in sexier ways than we can possibly imagine.

It’s the day after Memorial Day. I hope everyone took some time out of their busy lives, hopefully which involves regularly reading this sexy blog, to give their thanks and appreciation to all the brave men and women who serve their country honorably. Regardless of whether you or a family member have served, it’s important that we honor and cherish their sacrifice.

Make no mistake. Our modern world of fast cars, fast internet, and spray cheese in a can would not be possible were it not for our soldiers. They helped forge peace from the chaos. They put their lives on the line so that the society we’re trying to build is still possible.

Say what you will about the military, foreign policy, or whatever else former Ron Paul supporters love to complain about. Our soldiers are one of our greatest assets and they deserve a special place in our hearts and in our loins.

That’s why I want to use today, the day after Memorial Day, to pay tribute to the sexier side of soldiers. I was going to do it yesterday, but that just didn’t feel appropriate. There’s a time and a place to talk about the issues that make your paints feel hot and tight. A day dedicated to the sacrifices of our soldiers isn’t one of them.

Today, however, couldn’t be a better time. Not only have we celebrated an important holiday for our veterans, we also celebrated the beginning of summer. The beaches are now open. Schools are finally closing. The weather is getting hotter and that means less clothing for everyone. I’ve often said the world needs more nudity and this is the time of year to further that goal.

With that in mind, I’d like to combine a celebration of summer with the sexier side of honoring our soldiers. Yes, there is a sexy side. How could there not be? Soldiers should have a lot of sex appeal and I’m not just talking about the badass things they do.

Soldiers don’t just learn how to fire a gun. Soldiers have to run, train, fight, travel, and sweat on battlefields of all kind. Every part of that strengthens the traits that men and women alike find sexy. You can’t be a lazy, unhealthy, undisciplined slob and be a soldier. You need to work, train, and get shit done. Who wouldn’t find that sexy?

That’s why today, I’d like to give a special ode to the sexy soldiers of our military. I’ve already given an ode to hot teachers, who also provide a valuable pubic service. It’s only fitting I give a similar homage to the strong, fit, sexy men and women who help make our military and our country awesome.

I’ll give all the men and women a moment to catch their breath and change their pants. Again, from the bottom of my heart, thank you to all the brave men and women who serve our country honorably. I can think of few more noble causes than fighting for freedom while looking sexy as hell every step of the way.

Good morning from my first day of my beach vacation! If it sounds like I’m more relaxed and more content than usual, it’s because I woke up to a beautiful view this morning. As I type this sentence, I am looking out at a beautiful ocean on a pristine beach that is just about to open to the masses. It’s every bit as wonderful as it sounds.

I’m done following tips for getting into a beach body. I’m done just waiting anxiously for that memorable first feeling you get when you dip your toes in the ocean, see a sexy bikini, or take your first Jell-O shot at a beach bar. I’m here now. I’m ready to enjoy myself. After achieving such a huge milestone last month with the release of, “Passion Relapse,” I am ready for a break.

If this vacation goes well, I’ll come back feeling refreshed and full of new sexy thoughts to share. I’m looking forward to it and I hope everyone else finds a way to enjoy themselves as well as summer officially begins.

It’s almost that time again. For kids who have been languishing in school or adults who have been cooped up indoors, the wait is almost over. Summer is almost here and that means the beaches are almost open. Just writing that puts a smile on my face and a tear of joy in my eye.

I doubt it’ll shock anyone that I love summer and I love the beach. What’s not to love? I’m a man who enjoys sleeping naked and appreciates nudity in general. Many swimsuits these days are basically akin to underwear anyways so being at the beach means you’re basically halfway there. It’s the closest you can come to enjoying nudity without breaking any indecent exposure laws.

Beyond the bikinis, as though an aspiring erotica/romance writer needs any more reasons, the beach has pretty much everything. The weather is warm, the food is good, and beach bars are always a fun place to hang out. There’s music, body surfing, and a general fuck-work-let’s-just-relax type attitude. No matter who you are, you’ll find something to enjoy at the beach.

I say this with an even bigger smile because in a couple days, I’m taking my first major vacation of 2017. With the arrival of the Memorial Day holiday, most of the pools and beaches all over the country will be open. For me, that’s basically my cue to get the hell out of my fancy suits, put on some swim trunks, and get to the beach. After being snowed in one time too many, I’m ready for some warmer, clothing-optional weather.

As such, I’m making the necessary preparations for my first beach trip of the year. For me, that doesn’t just mean stocking up on sun screen and washing my beach towels. It also means working out a little harder, getting into just the right shape for the summer. That way when I take my shirt off, I can be proud of what I’m showing the world.

Now, I don’t consider myself a real fitness junkie. I’m no body builder and I’m certainly no Olympian athlete. In fact, not long ago, I was about as health conscious as Homer Simpson on a donut bender. It wasn’t until about five years ago when I started shaming myself into being healthier.

Surprisingly enough, I learned that I really enjoyed working out. For some reason, getting all hot, sweaty, and sexy can be very rewarding for a man. Who knew? It may seem so obvious now, but I really had to push myself to reshape my body and adopt a healthier lifestyle.

I started small, going to some crappy gym that cost way too much, at least once a week. It wasn’t much, but it got me started. It triggered in me an unexpected feeling. I felt good about myself. I felt confident in my body and my abilities. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to begin a new process.

Fast forward a few years and I’m now a member of a much nicer gym. I go twice a week, doing a mix of weight training and cardio. I’m also an avid runner. I run at least 15 miles a week around my neighborhood. It doesn’t matter of it’s boiling hot outside or bone-chilling cold. I still do it and I still love it.

It was hard, stressful, and downright agonizing at times. I’d spent most of my life as the kid who dreaded gym class more than calculus. That’s not an easy mentality to escape, but I did it. I did it and I’m a better man because of it and not just because I look better in a speedo.

Now, I know it’s become politically incorrect these days to show off your beach body and preach the value of exercise. For some people, it’s a downright affront to their right to look the way they want, no matter how unhealthy it might be. I’m not here to start another debate on that issue. That’s one of those arguments that can never be won.

Instead, I’d like to just appreciate the joys of going to the beach and looking good while doing it. Summer is here and no matter what your political affiliation or predilection for outrage, a trip to the beach is something we can all enjoy.

So for those looking to hit the beach at any point this summer, I’d like to offer a few tips on getting that beach body you want. Please note, however, that I am an aspiring erotica/romance writer and not a fitness guru. I’m no more certified to give health advice than I am to fix a rocket. However, I can speak from experience though and, as my visible abs can attest, that experience does give me some insight.

Now, I get there are some out there who don’t care to get a “beach body” of any kind. They’d rather stay in whatever shape they’re in right now. That’s perfectly fine. You’re free to do that. For those who aren’t content with their current body shape, though, I’d like to help. I want to help everybody be and feel as sexy as possible. So here are my top tips for obtaining a beach body for the summer.

Tip #1: Look At Your Current Fitness Routine And Add ONE More Workout

It’s a common misconception that in order to get into great shape, you need to train like an Olympian and hire Brad Pitt’s personal trainer. That’s simply not the case. The human body is stubborn, but not that stubborn.

If you’re at all health conscious and you have a workout, then you’ve already completed the most important step. There are a lot of people out there who can’t even get that far. I know because, until a few years ago, I was one of them.

Having a regular workout is a great way to establish a base fitness level of sorts. If that workout helps maintain the body shape you want, then keep at it. If being cooped up all winter has made it harder to maintain that level, then add at least one additional workout on top of it. That’ll strain your body in just the right way.

By straining your body in that right way, you’ll get it burning some extra fat and building some extra muscle. Whether you wear a speedo or a bikini, every bit of sexiness counts, especially at the beach.

Working out is hard enough. Even hardcore fitness junkies will tell you that sticking to a diet is even harder. Let’s face it. We live in a world full of delicious, unhealthy food. You can’t go 100 feet in this world without running into a fast food restaurant, an ice cream shop, or something that reminds you how much you love chocolate.

Keep that in mind as you tweak your diet in preparation for the beach. That doesn’t mean eating only cardboard and kale, though. For building muscle and burning fat, your primary sources of nourishment should come from protein-rich sources like eggs, chicken, and fish.

If possible, throw in some brown rice and use whole-grain bread as well. This will put your body into a fat-burning, calorie shredding mode. It’ll help build muscle and reduce fat deposits.

Also, if you’re going to drink anything, drink water or calorie-free soda. Stay away from energy drinks or fruit juice. If you need energy, just simple black coffee will do the trick.

Tip #3: Spend An Extra Half-Hour Out In The Sun Before You Hit The Beach

This isn’t so much a fitness tip as it is a tip to make your beach experience less painful. Now if you’re not the kind of person who gets sunburned easily, you can skip this. For others who are of a very pale complexion and burn easily, like me, skip this at your own peril.

There are two kinds of people in my family, those who tan without even trying and those who burn. I’m the latter. When you’re pale, it doesn’t take much for the sun to scorch your skin like burnt toast. Sometimes, applying sunscreen only goes so far. One year, I slathered myself in sunscreen, but still got burned on the tops of my feet where the lotion washed off. That was not a pleasant feeling.

Beyond sunscreen, just spending some extra time out in the sun, getting a base tan of sorts, will go a long way towards easing any burns. You don’t have to spend hours on end outside. Just spend a half-hour at most, getting some rays to add some color. Trust me. Nothing is more painful and less sexy than a full-body sunburn.

Tip #4: Get Extra Sleep In The Days Before You Go To The Beach

There’s so much to do and see at the beach. Between the bikinis and the beach bars, there just aren’t enough hours in the day to enjoy it all. What’s the point of going to the beach if you’re too tired or stressed to enjoy it?

This is where sleep comes in. It doesn’t just rejuvenate your mind and give you awkward boners in the morning. It’s very important to your health. A lack of sleep can negatively impact your weight and your overall fitness. That’s why waiting until you’re at the beach to catch up on sleep will cost you half your vacation.

To ensure you have the energy and vitality to enjoy the beach, try getting some extra sleep in the days leading up to your trip. This won’t just help with whatever fitness routine you’re doing. It’ll ensure you have the time and energy to maximize your beach-going experience. That means less time sleeping and more time soaking in the sun, drinking lemonade, and admiring the bikinis.

At the risk of overwhelming people on a topic that should be inherently relaxing, I’ll stop the list here. If you have your own system for enjoying the beach and it works for you, then don’t let me stop you. Go for it! Do what you know works for you. These are just tips for those looking for other ways to maximize their beach-going experience.

I’m already in the process of preparing. I’m already looking forward to that moment when I step on the beach, take off my shirt, and strut my manly stuff. If anyone out there can think of a better way to begin summer, I’d love to hear it.

Break out the maracas and pour yourself a glass of tequila because it’s that time of year again. No, I’m not talking about a politically incorrect Halloween party that is sure garner unwarranted controversy, as Hillary Duff found out last year. I’m talking about Cinco de Mayo, the Mexican equivalent to the 4th of July.

Yes, I understand it was two days ago. Yes, I understand some are still sleeping off a tequila hangover. No, I do not care. It’s a holiday that involves drinking, celebrating, and beautiful women dressing up. That’s all I need to know.

I understand we live in sensitive times. This is a period in our history where any discussion about any culture that wasn’t prominently represented in 1950s sitcoms tends to generate the kind angry vitriol usually reserved for the comments section of Justin Bieber music videos. I’ve no desire to turn this blog into that kind of digital waste dump.

Mexico has been in the news a lot over the past couple years, albeit for some less-than-flattering reasons. It’s likely to be an ongoing shouting match for the next four years and beyond. Until Elon Musk gives all our brains a badly-needed update, we’re kind of stuck with this sort of insipid hatred.

For now, though, I want to set that all aside and just celebrate one of Mexico’s major holidays with another entry of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts. Even if you don’t care for another country’s holidays, at least appreciate the sexy thoughts they inspire. Those thoughts transcend cultures for all the right reasons.

“If eating, sleeping, and sex are basic needs, then do wet dreams count as multitasking?”

Let’s face it. We all have busy, hectic lives. Even our most basic needs will sometimes slip our minds. There’s a lot to worry about, but when it comes to basic needs, I think our bodies intrinsically try to compensate however it can. A wet dream may lead to messy sheets and an awkward conversation, but it ties into two basic needs. In that sense, I think it’s a uniquely efficient function of the human body.

“Isn’t it ironic that men will put on fancy suits and women will put on expensive dresses just to entice someone else into take it off for them?”

I love wearing fancy suits as much as the next guy. When I put on a suit and tie, I feel like I just got a kiss from Jennifer Lawrence. They can be expensive as hell and a pain to keep clean, but that’s the price of looking good, I suppose. For women who invest a lot of money into a dress, I imagine the sentiment is similar.

Even so, there is something to be said about the unstated goals of looking good. Wearing fancy clothes and looking good is one of the many ways we let others know we take care of ourselves. It’s also one of the many ways we let others know that we’re interested in boning. So when part of that process involves getting our clothes off, I think that says something about the subtle undertones of fashion.

“The cleanest pair of male underwear will never be as sexy as a dirty pair of women’s panties.”

Now I love panties as much as the next heterosexual male. They’re just one of the many beautiful garments that exemplify the female form. I don’t know the psychological mechanisms behind their beauty, but I know that there’s just no way that male underwear, or male garments of any kind, can ever compete.

“When you consider the fact that we’re all naked underneath our clothes, public nudity laws are both unenforceable and redundant.”

This is a sentiment I often find myself contemplating whenever I see someone freak out over public nudity or something on TV that was just too damn sexy. From Janet Jackson’s nipple to pretty much anything Pamela Anderson has worn, there are some people who just get so uncomfortable at the thought that someone out there is naked.

At the end of the day, we’re all still naked underneath our clothes. I’ve made my sentiments towards nudity clear so I don’t think it should surprise anyone that I have such a cynical view of anti-nudity laws.

“The day someone declared sex to be immoral is the same day someone else found a loophole.”

This is just human nature. Tell someone they can’t have something they really want and they’ll find a way to get it. Some will bend the rules more than others. Some will flat out ignore them. When it comes to sex, one of the most basic drives in nature, the incentives for finding a loophole couldn’t be greater.

It shows in the way some people try to get around a society’s prudish norms. Abstinence only education may do everything it can to scare the shit out of teenagers who are already horny as hell, but their response is to just delay it a bit longer or try anal sex. Put in all the rules you want. When someone is that horny, they’ll find and/or make a loophole.

“Beautiful women and attractive men have many advantages in life, but under the influence of sufficient alcohol, we’re all equally sexy.”

This is just a basic function of alcohol. We’ve all heard about the “beer goggles” effect. There is even some science behind it. I think it’s nature’s way of bridging the divide between kings and peasants.

No matter how rich and sophisticated you are, alcohol will make you and everyone around you as unrestrained and immature as a 13-year-old boy who just discovered internet porn. Honestly, I kind of take comfort in that. It shows that we’re all more equal than we think.

“Anyone who says talk is cheap probably never called a sex hotline.”

I feel old in that I remember the days when sex hotlines was the closest you could come to hearing sexy women talk in sexy ways. Maybe cam girls are the modern equivalent. Whatever the case, they function they function the same way. They charge you money to hear beautiful women talk dirty. That’s right. You’re paying for words and if your credit card statement tends to get awkward, then chances are it won’t feel that cheap.

” Ice cream is great. Orgasms are great. So would ice cream that gives you orgasms be even greater or redundant?”

This is more a philosophical question than a curiosity. I love ice cream. A lot of people love ice cream. For some, ice cream is right up there with orgasms. For a select few, a tub of ice cream is on the same level as an orgasm. So what would happen if you combined the two? Would it be redundant or would it double the fun? It’s hard to say, but it’s fun and sexy to contemplate.

Thank you and muchas gracias to all of Mexico and all those who appreciate any holiday that gives us an excuse to drink, dance, and wear sexy outfits. At a time when we have way too many excuses to hate each other, we need as many of those days we can get.

Today, I have a very important announcement to make. No, it has nothing to do with the release of my upcoming book, “Passion Relapse.” That’s still coming out on April 18th though. Yes, I’m going to promote the hell out of it in the coming weeks so get used to that.

This announcement is every bit as important as my first book. It may even be more important. Since I’m a long way from success as an erotica/romance writer, I don’t say that lightly. However, I do feel that this is worth saying. It needs to be said so brace yourself. This may shock a few people.

It’s OKAY to be sexy!

I’ll give everyone a moment to recover from the shock. Take all the time you need. I know. This is a startling revelation, but hang in there. We’ll get through this together. I promise.

Okay, that’s enough sarcasm for now. I’ll ease up on the melodrama, but it was necessary for a reason. I say it’s a good reason too because this is one of those topics that has no middle ground. Either people just shrug it off or they’re downright hysterical about it.

Since I’m trying to break into the erotica/romance world, this subject actually affects me and could very well affect my future career. The stakes are higher for me is what I’m saying. So what exactly makes this announcement so vital?

Well, to answer that, here’s some context. It wasn’t that long ago that people didn’t make too big a deal about characters in movies, video games, and comic books who were overtly sexual. I’m not saying some people got their panties in one too many knots. I’m saying that, for a time, it really wasn’t high on the list of things that pissed us off.

That time wasn’t too long ago. For reference, allow me to cite one of the most iconic female characters of the past couple decades, Lara Croft. She’s always been one of those characters with a special kind of sex appeal. You could argue that her sex appeal helped make her an icon. How could it not? This is what she used to look like.

That’s pretty sexy. I won’t deny that it’s somewhat impractical for a soldier or a fighter, but Lara Croft is still a badass, globe-trotting fighter who happens to look good in short shorts and bikinis. There’s nothing wrong with that. As a man, I greatly appreciate that sort of visual appeal.

Then, back in 2013, her character was essentially revamped and rebooted. The sex appeal was downplayed, if not outright purged. Lara Croft went from being a badass, globe-trotting fighter with a sexy attitude to just a badass, globe-trotting fighter. She’s still a beautiful woman by most objective standards, but she’s not allowed to be quite as sexy anymore. This is what she looks like now.

Now I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with how Lara Croft looks now. That hasn’t made her video games any less enjoyable to play. However, the removal of her sex appeal is somewhat jarring.

Well, like Lara Croft, she underwent a change too. No, she didn’t become any less likable. Yes, she’s still a character who will make men hate women on some levels. The only difference now is that she doesn’t show as much cleavage.

It’s part of an ongoing story in the Spider-Man comics to make Black Cat more of a crime lord than a vixen. The story has been mediocre for the most part. I won’t say it’s bad, but I will say that it has done nothing to change the parts of Black Cat’s character that make her so unlikable. Whether she’s fully clothed or wearing a G-string thong, she’s still a character that make men say stupid crap about women.

I find this trend somewhat troubling and not just because it means less visible boobs. It troubles me because for some reason, the image of sexy women is somehow a bad thing. Granted, sexy women have always made people feel a bit uncomfortable and not just in their pants, but this is getting into dangerously regressive territory.

Whether it’s due to concerns about body image or female representation in media, there’s a new moral crusade brewing. This time, however, it’s not being led by clerics, mullahs, monks, and popes. It’s being led by ordinary, educated people who have somehow convinced themselves that being sexy or admiring sexy things is somehow wrong.

I’m here to say that’s simply wrong. It’s okay to be sexy. It’s okay to admire sexy images. Whether you’re a man or a woman, you’re not a bad person for enjoying things you find sexy. You’re just a healthy mind in a healthy body. There’s no reason to apologize for that.

I originally had another topic I wanted to discuss today, but then something came up that just felt more pressing. By “came up,” I mean this literally just popped into my head last night while I was working on one of my novels. I admit I tend to think strange, twisted thoughts after a certain hour of the night. A lack of sleep and a couple glasses of whiskey will do that to a man, especially if he thinks a lot about romance/erotica.

However it came to me, it’s something that needs further contemplation. It has to do with a very specific trait pertaining to male sexuality and no, it has nothing to do with the size of certain organs. It has to do with something that we, as a society, can’t seem to decide whether is sexy. So for your consideration, here is the burning question I have to ask.

Is chest hair on a man considered sexy?

It may seem like a trivial detail. There are far more relevant traits and behaviors that improve a man’s sex appeal. We can cook, dance, sing, fight, play sports, play instruments, and shave our asses on a dare. Those are all perfectly valid mechanisms for moistening the panties of women and/or gay men, but what about chest hair?

This isn’t just relevant to my work as an erotica/romance writer where I have to be exceedingly graphic about all those sexy attributes that make a male character want to ditch his shirt. It’s also personal. I come from a family where most, if not all, of the men have a modest to abundant amount of chest hair. For the women in my life, present and future, that makes this somewhat pressing for me.

Yes, I do have chest hair. I’ve actually had some amount of chest hair since I was 19-years-old. I’m won’t I was the first guy in high school to get chest hair, but I’m fairy confident that I was in the top ten percentile. Over time, the amount of chest hair has grown. I’ve never shaved it, nor have I felt inclined to do so, but I find myself asking should I?

It’s a surprisingly difficult question to answer. Chest hair on men is one of those oddly neutral features. Men can have chest hair and be sexy. Men can be as waxed as a newly-minted Ferrari and be just as sexy. Women and gay men in general don’t seem to care either way.

Despite this, the issue of male grooming is still an ongoing discussion. There are no shortage of products and tips for men seeking to shave their chest. Sure, the discussions aren’t as heated as those surrounding pubic hair, but it’s one of those discussions that nobody seems to finish.

We can joke all we want about pubic hair. I’m sure I’ll do a post about that at some point and I doubt that post will be SFW, but chest hair should be less taboo because genitals aren’t involved. Even so, it’s still a topic we refuse to take seriously.

In fact, the closest that recent popular culture has come to addressing this issue was in an old episode of Seinfeld. It’s actually one of my favorite episodes of this show, among many, but it’s a nice metaphor for the issue at hand.

Jerry finds that some women do appreciate a clean-shaven chest, but as he so often does, he finds a way to complicate things. Kramer offers insight, albeit the eccentric type. It’s not entirely relevant, but it is funny.

As a rule of thumb, I think that when a topic finds its way into an episode of a sitcom, then it’s gotten to a point where we, as a society, are stuck on this issue. We can’t figure it out so we make a few jokes about it. It’s immature and goofy, but it can still be funny and that’s better than nothing.

This is also one of those issues where applying caveman logic just doesn’t seem to work. Body hair isn’t so much an integral part of our biological wiring as it is a holdover from our hairy ancestors. For a time, hair had its uses. It provided insulation from cold nights on the savanna. As conditions changed and evolution responded, this just wasn’t necessary anymore.

As a result, evolution basically stopped giving a shit about body hair. It didn’t do a way with it. Evolution is not that efficient. It can be downright eccentric though. Humans are unique in that they’re one of the few primates that lost most of their body hair and science isn’t quite sure why, but there are a few theories.

Whichever theory proves correct, it doesn’t change the fact that we’re still stuck with body hair to some extent. Evolution is basically taking the stance of a dismissive teenager going, “Sure. You want to keep it? You want to ditch it? Do whatever the hell you want.”

That makes for some frustration, but at least it leaves men a bit of flexibility. Hair isn’t like a limb. Cut it off and it grows back. If one lover hates chest hair, you can shave it off and not worry about missing out on lovers who prefer it. As a man, I appreciate and value flexibility in my personal grooming, but I’m still somewhat torn here.

So for the ladies and gay men out there, what say you? Is chest hair sexy? Is a lack of it sexier? Under what circumstances is it sexy? At what point does it cease being sexy? As an erotica/romance writer, I really need to know these things. Any help that anyone could offer on this issue would be greatly appreciated.