ZOO WARNS VISITORS NOT TO BOND WITH CHIMP BY MAKING EYE CONTACT, AND NOT TO LEND HIM ANY MONEY

ANTWERP, Belgium - The Antwerp Zoo is urging visitors not to bond with a certain chimpanzee named Cheetah by making eye contact with him. "But more important," said zoo spokeswoman Ilse Segers, "under no circumstances should visitors loan Cheetah money." The zoo claims that Cheetah has bilked unsuspecting visitors out of thousands of dollars that he never intends to repay by passing worthless promissory notes."It is for very good reason Cheetah is behind bars," Ms. Segers cautioned.