The chimichanga wars

When I set out to cover the confirmation of an obscure Hispanic jurist, I had no idea I would spark the Great Tex-Mex Takedown of the 2012 presidential race.

“Line of the day from WAPO’s Dana Milbank,” President Obama’s campaign manager Jim Messina tweeted when the column appeared in the newspaper on Wednesday. “ ‘The chimichanga? It may be the only thing Republicans have left to offer Latinos.’ ”

The conservative Twitterverse ignited in condemnation of Messina’s dissemination of this “racist” and “insensitive” remark made by, um, me. The Republican National Committee and the conservative Hispanic Leadership Network demanded he apologize.

Holy mole sauce! The flap spread, to CNN, the Drudge Report, the New York Times, Comedy Central. “Chimichanga is the New Macaca,” said Michelle Malkin. Eventually, calls came from the blogosphere that “both Jim Messina and Dana Milbank should apologize.”

To those demanding my apology, I say: That’s nacho place. I flauta your demands. In the chimichanga wars, I will taco no prisoners — and that’s for churro.

The line in question, at the end of a column about how Republicans are alienating Hispanic voters, was inspired by a debate on the Senate floor over a Cuban American nominated to an appellate judgeship. Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) was stalling the vote, and his fellow Republicans refused to fight him. Instead, Sen. John McCain (Ariz.) gave a speech about his home state, where, he claimed, “it’s believed that the chimichanga has its origin.” From a party that had offered Latinos so little, the mention of the chimichanga during a confirmation debate was an apt juxtaposition.

The spat over the fried burrito gets at one of the most annoying components of our decaying political culture: false umbrage. Liberals created this form of identity politics, in which an underrepresented group claims persecution, but conservatives have embraced it. One of its most common expressions is the demand for an apology. It’s phony by definition — an apology can’t be sincere if it’s answering a demand — and the reflexive demand (like a demand for a resignation) serves only as an excuse to keep a news story alive. Sorry, but it’s time to put this tired gimmick to rest.

As for the chimichanga apology, I’m pleased to report that Messina had a good answer to those demanding his contrition: Not so fajitas. A follow-up tweet said: “Tweeting someone else’s words caused a stir, but the GOP is on the wrong side of every Hispanic voter priority.”

In fact, I hereby demand that the RNC and conservative critics end this sorry episode by apologizing for demanding apologies. If they do, I would consider making an apology of my own: to the chimichanga, for bringing the innocent entree into this cauldron.