All Poems

All I want for Christmas

You can pull your Christmas crackers for a little bit o'fun
And you can stuff yer turkey stuffing up yer turkey bum
You can sing your Christmas carols or mumble bah humbug
But all I want for Christmas is a hand in the bush

You can wish for peace on earth and give everyone a love
Or you can have a fight about who does the washing up
You can of course find yourself eating far too much
But all I want for Christmas is to see you gush

You can keep a drunken eye upon pervy uncle Buck
Or you can wait and see if he can make the kids shut up
You can play o' fashioned parlour games and make your nana blush
But all I want for Christmas is a bloody good fuck

You can calculate the value of all your festive goods
You can say there's more to life than trinkets and such stuff
You can lie about Santa and the chimney you bricked up
And all I want for Christmas is your physical love

All I want for Christmas is a hand in the bush
All I want for Christmas is to see you gush
All I want for Christmas is a bloody good fuck
All I want for Christmas is your physical love
And I don't even need to keep a hold of the receipt