(After assisting an elder woman pick out a watch from our display case, I proceed to take her to my register to ring up the rest of her order. I scan the watch first then go to put it in a bag when she stops me.)

Customer: “Oh, could I put that in my purse instead?”

Me: “Sure.” *hands her the watch*

Customer:*takes a closer look at the box, then frowns* “Oh. Oh this is made in China. I can’t buy this.”

Me: “That’s fine. I’ll just take it off then.”

(I remove the watch from the transaction and continue scanning her items.)

Customer:*continuing* “I only buy American you see. Or if I can’t, I’ll get it for lots of money off.”

(The last item she has is a medium sized ceramic pot. As I scan it I look inside it.)

Me: “It’s made in Vietnam, ma’am.”

Customer:*thinks this over, and then smiles* “Oh, that’s okay, then. My husband shot lots of people over there. Besides, I’m only going to use it for flowers anyway.”

(The store I work at has a lot of merchandise from around the world. We sell almost everything from furniture and home decor to food, kitchen needs, and even toys. A lady in her 40s comes up to my register and she’s very friendly. She strikes up a conversation.)

Me: “Did you find everything all right, ma’am?”

Customer: “I did! You guy have so many cool things here.”

Me: “That we do, ma’am. Getting ready for Thanksgiving, I see?”

Customer: “Oh, yes! Actually I homeschool my kids so I thought this was a great opportunity to teach them a little more about history.”

Me: “That’s a really good idea, gives them a little hands-on learning.”

Customer: “Exactly! I’m making it as authentic as I can. A first century Thanksgiving! I want my kids to experience how Jesus had his Thanksgiving.”

(I am so absolutely speechless that I just smile and finish with the transaction. She pays, thanks me, and then leaves. My coworker who is standing close by walks up.)

Coworker: “I’m actually really worried for her children’s education. Especially since she thinks Jesus had a Thanksgiving regardless that it was more than a thousand years after he died…”

Customer: “Do you guys have any of these that can take a real, high-quality cable?”

Me:*confused* “These all take your typical component cables. Some of them take S-video cables. Is that what you mean?”

(I think he might be talking about S-video since it’s higher quality, then I figure he might have been taken in by those “gold-plated” cables they sell at some stores.)

Me: “These will get just as good a video signal as those expensive cables they sell at other stores. Those are just a scam.”

Customer: “No, these all take those little cheap plastic black crap lines. I mean like a REAL cable. Do they even make good stuff anymore, or this is all just crap they make these days?”

Me:*now really confused* “You mean the component cables? The ones that have the red, yellow and white ends?”

Customer: “Yeah! They’re little plastic crap! I have a cable that I’ve used for years, it’s better than any of these things. I bought it with my VCR. It’s big and metal, not this cheap plastic crap. It’s got to be at least a quarter-inch wide.”

Me: “Uhh… when did you get your VCR?”

Customer: “When they first came out. I was right on top of it.”

Me: “You mean like in the late ’70s?”

Customer:*pause, thinking* “Yeah, that sounds about right. It’s so much bigger and heavier than the ones they made after that. It’s got all kinds of buttons on it. The ones they made after that, they’re all light and cheap and break after you use them once. I’ve been using it for years, but you can’t find tapes anymore, so I might get one of these. But none of them take the cable I have. This is all just cheap plastic crap. The one I have, it was real expensive when I got it. It’s silver and big. It’s got to work better than this trash.”

Me: “Well… um… technology changes over time. The cables we use now are smaller, lighter, and more flexible, and get a better picture. They’re pretty much the only ones used with modern electronics. The fact that they’re cheaper, well, that just has to do with technology becoming more affordable.”

Customer: “No, this cable is about a quarter-inch wide at least, probably more, and it’s silver metal. There’s no way you can tell me that some cheap plastic crap is going to get a better picture.”

(This went on until I realized that I just couldn’t help him, I could not convince him that an aged, oversize, long-obsolete cable he bought in the ’70s could be used with a 2000s DVD player, nor could I convince him that a modern component cable would in fact have a better picture and sound quality than his precious cable – the fact that his was big, silver, and expensive top-of-the-line stuff when he bought it three decades earlier was proof enough that it was better than anything out there today. He ended up not getting a DVD player because I was only trained to sell him “crap.”)

(From the time of its initial home video release in the early 1980s, Gone With The Wind was only available as a deluxe package costing roughly $100 or more. This changed in 1998 when, in preparation for its 60th anniversary the following year, the film was finally released at the “sell through” price of $19.99. The video sold like hotcakes; we could hardly keep it in stock. One customer was very excited when her reserved copy came in:)