Potty Training

Yesterday mother and I were playing a game called "Try to Get Pants on Me" when she suddenly sneezed. I knew by the defeated look on her face that it had happened again.

While I've chosen to walk the diapers-for-life path, I'm not opposed to helping those who wish to learn potty proficiency. I'm disturbed that after 8-9 years on Earth mommy still has regular accidents despite insisting on wearing big girl panties.

These disasters can strike anytime but usually occur when she finds something funny, comes to help me find serenity at night, or is struggling to locate house keys in her massive purse so that we can bring the groceries inside.

By the time she's running for the bathroom, it's too late and she's in need of a change. It's very frustrating for me to watch.

One would think that she'd focus reaching fully potty trained status before trying to push me in that direction but no. For those of you with mothers who continue to have accidents, please take heart and read the suggestions below.

2. Give her as much wine as she can drink and have her immediately sit on the potty. If she tries to get up, just gently hold her in seated position. Say "Hey there little one, let's just relax."

3. Create a reward chart based on her personal motivators. Example: One successful pee pee = $1 Etsy dollar. It can also help to give a little treat right after a tinkle. My mom's favorite foods are handfuls of dry cereal and secret ice-cream.

4. If you notice damp pants it is important not to shame your female parent. Just look her in the eye and say a firm, "NO." Allow her to finish the sentence, "We go pee pee in____" (the potty). Have her repeat 3-4 times.

5. It is tempting to want to put paper towels inside of her pants for long car trips but avoid reverting. Just place a cloth towel under her bottom when she's driving and bring a change of clothes for outings. Make the outfit something unflattering so that she understands that what she did is not being rewarded by a glamorous costume change.

6. Oftentimes mothers become so entranced in play that they will wait too long to relieve themselves. Don't hesitate to take her hand and lead her away from Pinterest so that she can sit on the potty and try. Stand right by her knees and stare at her. If you'd like to sit in her lap, that is fine. DO NOT let her get up too fast as mothers typically pee for about one full minute after they're done peeing.

7. Keep your night expectations low. After the moment she uprights herself during the twilight hours she has approximately 3 milliseconds to make it to the bathroom before a urine explosion. Few succeed.

Hopefully within 6-9 months your mother will be completely potty trained. Try not to brag to other toddlers about the status of your mother's progress as this is a very sensitive topic. Ever mom will learn at her own pace.