Tuesday, May 26, 2009

I Need A Corridor!

Visited a favorite store for home decor the other night, and you'll never believe what they had for sale - a full suit of armor!!! For the low, low price of $99.99. A bargain! A steal!

Since my discovery, I have lost sleep imagining where in my home I would put such an object. Naturally, it would go best at the bottom of the stairs. That spot needs something with height, and suddenly I'm not limited to a potted ficus.

I was ready to route money from our grocery and household budget to buy the armor, and laughed out loud at my mental image of bungee-cording the suit to the top of my mini-van to bring it home. But then I shared the find with the man I'll call "Mr.-Doesn't-Know-A-Good Decorating-Idea-Even-If-It-Bites-Him-In-The-Butt". His response, when I told him about the "Really cool suit of armor for LESS than a hundred dollars?"

"No way." And then he murmured something about how don't you have to have a corridor to use a suit of armor in your decorating? At that remark, I remembered why I fell in love with this guy. First of all, how many guys think of the word "corridor" in conversation? Second of all, he may be right! Maybe only people who live in castles can decorate with suits of armor. (It occurs to me that an Applebee's restaurant might also try to get away with it.)

Hm. I want people who visit my home (and therefore my suit of armor) to point out how brilliant and avant-garde I must be to choose a suit of armor rather than a ficus since it's unique and symbolizes history and chivalry...and whereas a ficus attracts mealy bugs, the only annoyance with a suit of armor is that a small child might perhaps sever a finger on one of the razor-sharp steel edges.

But since I'm hesitant to model my decorating after a chain restaurant, and since the grocery money has to last another six days, and since, tragically, I live in a house noticeably void of corridors, verandas, sky parlors, and other such romantic features --- I guess I'll price a ficus. Damn.

Teri Love

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