OBAMA WADES INTO POP-SODA DEBATE

January 5 2010

Washington, D.C. – There are few Presidents in the history of the United States that have jumped so readily into so many problems so early in his term as Barack Obama. From health care reform to a flailing economy to the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan
President Obama has taken on virtually every issue he discussed in his campaign and attacked it with aplomb. Some of those issues are things that could not have waited and others are a little less pressing. Nonetheless the President has taken on all comers much to the chagrin and delight of his critics.

Now the President has weighed in on an issue that has been pestering the country for decades, much longer in fact than the concerns over health care, and aims to further combat the divisions that still plague the country. The President has finally stepped into the conflict that frustrates soft drink lovers and manufacturers alike, commissioning a special committee to try and determine an official name for the beverage. Already critics are up in arms against the plans with many claiming that the President is attempting to homogenize the country and bring it closer to Socialist ideals. Despite that uproar the President seems intent on moving forward with or without the help of the Republican Party.

“For too long these kinds of divisions have existed amongst Americans. For too long these divisions have made us afraid of our neighbour, segregated us from our fellow Americans. We are living in a time of great understanding and compassion and we must express that in the most unequivocal of terms,” said the President. “Coke, pop, soda, even tonic are all words that make up the mosaic of American society. No matter what state you pass through in this great nation you are treated to the beauty of the American experience. We cannot, however, allow that diversity to inhibit our growth as a nation and as a people. While we support individual expression I am commissioning this committee so that all Americans can feel comfortable no matter where in this great nation they happen to find themselves.”

Obama stressed that he has no particular preference in the debate. His birth state, Hawaii, uses the term soda while Illinois uses pop. Obama stressed that as a son of two different worlds he has equal investment in both terms and will let the commission decide which one will become official.

“The President has brought this country together in ways that no one ever thought possible. The gap between the have and have-nots and the erasing of the line
between races is the President’s greatest legacy. This committee will further that vision and make America a stronger and prouder nation than ever before,” said House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. “I grew in a world segregated by names, names that can be hurtful. My life growing up Baltimore we were exposed to all types of names for soft drinks. We would often not know how to order in a restaurant, which caused a great deal of embarrassment and heartache. Whatever the committee decides it will bring our country further together and eliminate the unnecessary separation caused by your choice of words.”

Drink, cold drink, and soda are used in Maryland, Virginia, and the Carolinas. Pelosi has spoken in the past about the pain such soft drink segregation has caused in her personal life and in the lives of people she grew up with.

“In these hard times the last thing the President should be spending the American people’s time and money on such a frivolous escapade. This is one more example of the President attempting to do away with the diversity that makes up our country. In his attempts to do away with the rich mosaic that make up the American experience he is compromising the country’s future,” said Louisiana Senator David Vitter. “President Obama has once again shown his true colours and sacrificed the country’s future in favour of his legacy. The President’s attention should be on the pressing matters affecting ordinary Americans not on their manner of speech or their choice of beverages.”

Vitter, born in New Orleans, uses the term Cold Drink, a term seen as an unlikely candidate for official endorsement.