Category Archives: Fashionista

I’m one of the most minimal people y’all will ever know. About the only constant piece of jewelry I wear is my wedding band. But like a magpie, I do love, and I mean love to own bling. And mostly the fashion stuff. Who doesn’t love a huge neon pink rock on their finger, right?

That’s why the Ring Pop lollipop is so popular, my friends.

Anyway, like all women I have my favorite jewelry lines. Depending on the occasion my taste in bling changes. If I have a formal to attend (and those may be in my near future again, much to my feet’s chagrin), I tend to pick very bold pieces. If I’m going to a tea, I favor more whimsical items like flowers. If I’m going to lunch with Hubby, then I opt for just earrings. Even if the occasion is cleaning the bathroom, I do wear something blingy, like a tiara. Don’t judge me.

A few weeks ago, I was shopping for upcoming birthdays and decided to get my nieces some pretty fantasy jewelry. They loved my dragonfly necklace and I thought it would be nice to get them similar necklaces. Kirks Folly™ is my favorite jewelry for whimsy. So I go to their website…. and there is a “Thank You” posted to all their customers for a great 35 years. Undeterred, I go to QVC, and find it GONE!! As if this wasn’t bad enough, my favorite jewelry company, Lia Sophia™, declared bankruptcy a few months back! I’m in a total panic now. I do a search for Nolan Miller’s line, and….. gone. Kenneth Jay Lane? Discontinued. And with the passing of Joan Rivers, I worry that her line will also go the way of the dodo. I love her bee pins, and I am angling for her grape cluster pin before they discontinue it.

Now I have to go shop around for whimsy. Again. Which is fine since shopping is one of my gifts.

I’m a wife and mother. Picking battles is something I do often. I have a 50% success rate, which is not bad considering.

You try dealing with a band director.

Anyway, I am slowly making some updates in the house. The floor was the latest. It was a five year wait, but completely worth it. Unfortunately, the contractor vetoed my plan to burn the Berber carpeting. He did let me stab it a few times, though. I thought he might think I was crazy but he told me his wife did the same thing. Yes, I am well aware that doesn’t rule out insanity. But it’s something. Anyway, one of the things I really, and I mean really want to do is the fireplace. It’s brick in a tan…beige…dun… blah color with blah mortar. I mean it’s there, but doesn’t stand out in any way. And that is supposed to be a feature in the living area. At first I wanted to take it all out, and replace it with slate, which is fantabulous. But the floors were paramount (not the movie company) and that was an expense we couldn’t afford. So then I decided why not paint it, right? And this is where Hubby just looked at me like I had grown another head and said I was nuts no, too much involved in doing it. So then I was casually asking my contractor how I could repaint or stain the brick on the fireplace, to which he replied that it wasn’t a great idea because of the time and amount of ventilation required.

Suffice it to say, everyone is against me.

It was grating on my nerves, dealing with the boring drabness of the fireplace. I watch Property Brothers on HGTV and see the Flynn Ryder twin repainting fireplaces all the time!! But I was vetoed. GAH!!! As I sat there, wondering which house some Canadian couple was going to buy from the dapper twin, I saw it: a bold, beautiful BIG glob of glass sitting on a shelving unit in the background. And as I looked at my fireplace, I noticed something: everything, and I mean everything I had decorating it was in the same color range as the damn brick. Browns, beiges, tans, ambers…. no wonder that fireplace was so awful. That glob of glass stood out like a gorgeous preening peacock screeching LOOK AT MOI!!! And I knew, sure as the sun will rise, that I had seen it somewhere before.

Behold Ikea’s Stockholm vase. Actually, it is one of three Stockholm vases they carry in different styles and colors. Which begs the question: why call it the same name when they are different? Well, it’s Ikea. That’s what they do to mess with the customer. I recalled seeing the vase back on Mother’s Day when I last went to Swedesville. I liked them but had no idea where I would place them in the house. So I passed on them. Fast forward a few months and I am upstate for my nephew’s wedding, and my brother’s lovely girlfriend offers to entertain me by obliging my jones and taking me to Ikea, which is only 20 minutes from her home, unlike mine which is about 2 ½ hours if I’m lucky. So now Phase One of Fireplace Redo is complete, because I bought its taller, greener brother as well. Hey, one for either side of the fireplace, ok? I know it’s female logic, but it works. Trust me 😀

I took Little One shopping for clothes this past weekend. Seems she is growing and I can no longer ignore the fact that she is not a little girl. That meant taking her shopping to places were I like to shop.

For myself.

Don’t freak out. I restrained myself. I didn’t get anything.

Ok, I got ONE shirt.

And PJs. Stop judging me!!

Moving on, she got quite the haul: jeans, shirts, sweaters, camis, and PJs (she’s my mini-me, after all). She was very amiable to my advice for once, until it came to getting accessories of any kind. It was like she became a burro. Seriously, THAT stubborn.

Me: You should get a nice purse to use in high school, honey.

Mini-Me: Why? I don’t like them. Besides, I think policy is changing to all-clear bags.

Me: What did you say??

Mini-Me: All-clear ba–

Me: No, before that!!

Mini-Me: I don’t like purses.

Me: WHERE DID I GO WRONG???

She just rolled her eyes and laughed at me. But that got me to thinking (I do that on occasion, you know). Why are most women so hung up on purses, and shoes as well? Think about it: they are utilitarian items that we take to fashion extremes. Shoes are mainly used to protect our feet, and purses are used to carry stuff we need that we can’t fit in pockets easily. That’s it. Most men have under four pairs of shoes. But not most women. It’s like a drug. You get one pretty pair, and you just HAVE to get another, and another, and another until your closet looks like Payless™ puked. And the same for handbags! Witness what happened to me, remember? It’s like a moral imperative. And as I thought for the reason as to why we are so enamored of such accessories, I finally came to a not-very-flattering conclusion:

We buy the purses and the shoes in order to justify purchasing the outfit.

Tell me I’m wrong. Someone, PLEASE tell me I’m wrong!!

Because the shirt I bought this weekend really goes well with my new sandals, and I’m hoping I’m not that shallow 😀

Sometimes, I’m amazed I don’t throw my back out when I try to justify my logic.

Yesterday I went to the outlet mall in search of a gift for my sister-in-law, and a Mother’s Day gift for my mom. It was a gorgeous day, and I was on my own so I didn’t feel rushed by anyone. Not that Hubby ever rushes me while shopping, but I do want to take his feelings into account. The kids’, not so much. Anyway, I had recalled that there was a Coach™ outlet store, and my mind made a quick calculation:

Handbag + Mother’s Day = Happy lady

Eh, works for most women, yours truly included. Women are all about the accessories. You know why? Because it gives us the excuse to go shopping for the outfit to match. Ask any woman. Accessories are a gateway drug to the closet. So with that in mind, I go over to the store in search of a handbag for my mom. And I am quickly overwhelmed. Seriously, I have no idea what to get my mom. Every woman has different criteria for her handbag. For example, I need inside pockets for my phone, glasses, and change. My mom prefers a large roomy inside to having myriad pockets and compartments. But they have a clearance section and that’s where I head to do my shopping, because THAT is every woman’s criteria.

I find a couple of handbags that may please my mom: a hobo-style with room enough for a kitchen sink, and a smaller tote style handbag that she can use for church and other social events. I call my sister to ask her which one I should get mom. Hilarity ensued.

Me: One is like your hobo but tan, not pink, and the other is smaller like for church.

Sis: Why are you wanting to buy her a purse??

Me: Doesn’t she like purses?

Sis: I already got her a Coach™ purse.

Me: YOU DID??

Sis: Uh, you were with me…

Me: *sighs*…. what am I supposed to do now?

Sis: You can buy yourself one.

Me: Hm…but I can’t decide!

Sis: Good luck with that!

Here’s the thing: I don’t own any fancy purses save for two. Ironically, one is by Coach™, given to me almost twenty years ago by my late brother-in-law, Draco. And guess what?? I have my niece’s wedding to attend. I NEED A NEW BAG!! But I still couldn’t decide. Apparently my dilemma was obvious to the salesguy, because he sauntered over to let me know the clearance section was on sale for an additional 40% off. So I did what any sane woman would do.

AND the wallets were on sale, as well. Don’t they look good against my pots??

You may be asking what I will be doing for my mom instead. I have a back up plan. Well, I usually have a few back up plans just in case. She may not get her gift by Mother’s Day, but better late than never, right?

I will be the first to admit that I loathe to wear makeup. There are days I don’t even comb my hair, much less think of getting rid of the gray white. If I am not leaving the house, what’s the point, right? Kids don’t care and Hubby thinks I look just fine as I am. Something for which I am devoutly thankful.

But then I hear everyone telling him how young he looks, and I kinda get a wee bit….. discomfited. I have no problem growing older, or even looking older. But I do want to at least look the same age as he does. And it certainly doesn’t help when my friends counsel me to “look like an officer’s wife”. At least I already act like one, so I have that going for me. But Vanity reared her beautifully coiffed head, and so in a panic I got new makeup during the Black Friday sales.

We’re talking new eyeshadows, nail colors, lipsticks, mascara, the works. If that doesn’t polish me into a semiprecious, rough cut topaz, I don’t know what will. But no matter what anyone says, I am keeping my gray. God kindly gave me highlights, and you just don’t mess with perfection 😉

In my family, there are four girls, and one boy. The boy came much later. Anyway, growing up we were often dressed alike (we had no choice on the matter). Looking back at photographs, we certainly looked pretty cute.

Then we grew up.

Anyway, one thing my mom would do is make or buy the same style of dress, but in different colors. And inevitably, my color was always yellow.

Now, I have nothing against the color yellow. It’s the color of sunshine, and summer, and smiles, and happiness.

It’s also the color of corn, an angry bird, and Spongebob.

Most people can wear it and look awesome and happy as clams. Me, I wear it and look like a squash, no matter how thin I am. I remember wearing a yellow shirt to a doctor’s appointment, and he ended up testing me for jaundice. NOT FUN. And the last time I wore yellow, someone said I looked like a corndog, which here in Texas may be a compliment, but not to me.

And if I look jaundiced wearing yellow, I can only imagine what I would look like wearing orange.

Nor do I wish to be. But sometimes out of necessity, I have to step out of her shoes.

Last evening Little One came up to me and asked to try on my sneakers. This is highly unusual for two reasons: 1) she does NOT like other people’s shoes, and 2) I have smaller feet. However, I complied and let her try them on. As she walked around, my spidey sense went off (a bit later than usual, because I was still enjoying my sandwich from Subway™). So I asked her why she needed to try on my shoes.

Turns out she lost her gym shoes.

Monday.

But told me Tuesday evening, 20 minutes before the mall closed.

Not Monday after school, when I had time to take her to get new ones.

So that means I get to dress up to go grocery shopping instead of relying on sweats and sneakers. And by “dress up” I mean wear jeans and boots.

Well, not really. But some of y’all wanted to see the flowers I was going to make from my wondrously wonderful felt.

It’s a dahlia. I am loathe to wear them because when I was little my grandmother taught me one of the Languages of Flowers and dahlias were considered the Flower of Death. But I can fool myself into thinking this is like a chrysanthemum, right? Anyway, I was going to make it into a brooch, but I think I will just make it into decor for my purse. Now I need a black purse so I can put this on it.

I can always find some way to justify anything.

Anyway, the sheet of felt was large enough to make this four inch beauty, plus plenty left over for another few flowers, as well. Which by the way, have been claimed by Little One. But not this behemoth. This one is all mine!!!

I went not once, but twice to the outlet mall this past weekend. And the sales had nothing to do with it.

I have a gift card to a barn and pottery place and went to search for my wineglass chandelier. Alas, they didn’t have it, but they did have a lot of their lighting on sale for an additional 25% off the redline, so I got myself…. a cord kit. Lamps were pretty, but I want to make a ceiling light fixture that speaks to me. Then I went to get some *ahem* supportive wear (not that I need much, but I still hadn’t replaced the one the trauma team scissored off), and after that, went to see what manner of handbags Vera Bradley™ had on sale. The answer is none, but at least they had a tote bag for Little One to use at school.

Anyway, as I was returning home, I was trying to talk myself out of the chandelier. I really, REALLY want it, but I also want a pair of cowboy boots. And in the greater scheme of things, boots are needed far more than chandeliers. So, I was mentally tallying up how many wineglasses I would need to purchase, along with the cost of the iron base. And my heart sank as I realized it would be a pretty penny.

Until I realized the gift card had most of the money still “in it”.

And that I had enough cheap wineglasses to fill it.

Math may not be my friend, but the total cost of the iron base would be $40, with tax. WINNING!!!

Christmas was a big hit around here. We spent it at my folks for the first part of the day, then drove home to open the gifts in the evening.

When Eldest asked if I wanted my gifts wrapped, I knew it was going to be fun. Seems that *ahem* people forgot to wrap my gifts. No matter. I told her it was a waste of time and effort and to just put it in the bags they came in. Hubby had taken the kids to shop for me. I will never let him do that again, because apparently the kids did the choosing.

A hoodie to wear at football games, or whenever I please….

Don’t get me wrong. It’s very cool, and very warm! It was the Sithy gift.

And this was the wino gift.

Taste wine? What a novel idea…

The Wine Tasting Lolita™ glass! I didn’t have it, so that was a plus, because I hate, hate, HATE returning and/or exchanging anything. So I got Sithy and wine gifts for this Christmas. All in all, people know me well.