Former Playboy model Brandi Brandt has jetted off to Australia–for a glamorous court appearance in Sydney today to face cocaine conspiracy charges! How can that be? Well, we have to assume that Brandi Brandt is innocent until proven guilty. Especially when you look into her adorably innocent eyes. Let’s still note, however, that Brandi used to be married to Motley Crue bassist Nikki Sixx. Hopefully, that fun fact won’t be admissible in court.

Anyway, thanks to the miracle of time zones, the gorgeous Playmate of the Month for October 1987 has already appeared in a Sydney court. Did she enter a plea or apply for bail? No, she did not. It’s a cruel world, though, since Brandi wasn’t allowed to just bat her eyes at the judge and walk free. Instead, she was remanded in custody for a December court appearance.

We kind of hate to even bring up the charges. But if you want to get all gossippy–you know, like the judge did–then we’ll note that Brandi is being accused of having smuggled in plenty of cocaine on flights from Sydney to California. To which we’d say, “Your honor, our client has also brazenly imported her enduringly beautiful bod to Sydney from California, and is that some kind of a crime?”

The manly country of Australia that we know and love would then let Brandi walk right out of court. But it is not a perfect world, and so we await Brandi Brandt’s fate in the court of law. Even worse, we also have Playboy Playmate Colleen Shannon having to turn herself in by December, so this is pretty much looking to be the worst Christmas ever. Here are some pics of Brandi to cheer us all up…