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m
"Moon!" yelled the other. "Moon!
Why tell me the name of that so
ciety again!"
"The Summer Hotel Improvement
Society," said Mr. Smithers. "What's
the matter? Aren't you feeling
good?"
"No, confound you. Why, they
both came from the same shop."
"Darling," said Arthur Allen,
"where shall we go for our vacation
next year? Do you think the Adiron
dacks are played out yet?"
"I guess not," answered Bessie,
snuggling up to him. "Perhaps we
might try the Catskills, though, this
year. Isn't it glorious having free
summer holidays, Arthur? I don't
know what we'd have done without
them; and we'd never have gone
away since our honeymoon."
(Copyright by W. G. Chapman.)
merelycom"ment
"Rep. Ryan's primary election bill
was BRANDED a good bill by a ma
jority of the House." Examiner.
BRANDED a GOOD bill is right. As
soon as it is discovered at Springfield
that a bill is a good one it is branded
so it won't pass.
Have a libel suit on Andy Law
rence! Now that all the newspapers have
fallen out, it looks like we were going
to hear a little truth about them.
Possibly it would be a good idea
to have a course of vocational train
ing for would-be legislators in our
schools.
Even if the experiment failed, it
couldn't give us worse legislators
than we get now.
"Of the 300 Princeton graduates
nearly one-half smoke iobacco and
more-ifhan one-half correspond with
girls anaadmit'they have kissed girls
other thalu their sisters." The
Wheeling Register.
And 'twas f ifcom this den of deprav
ity that Woodreow Wilson came.
In his tax schedule Mayor Harrison
gays he only lias 25Q n cash,
Carter had better start saving up
a little money. $250 is a mere no'th
ing these days, and it's mighty near
1915.
There seems to be sort of a "gen
tleman's" agreement at Springfield
to pass all the administration's bad
bills and kill all its good bills.
Gov. Dunne has signed the bill ap
propriating money for the Butts com
mittee's investigation of the vote ma
chine scandal.
Another vote machine investiga
tion in our fair city will certainly add
to life's little amusements.
Especially when it is of the inevit
able brand that will bring on another
newspaper war.
By the way, why not lock up all
the newspaper publishers and their
hired sluggers and let 'em fight it
out?
I'D LIKE TO,
BUT-
o o
"What I want," said a young man, '
"is to get married and have a peace- -ti
ful, quiet home." "Well," said bis.',
uncle, "sometimes it works out t&Sat
way, and sometimes it's mirefhkp.
-!:: ji-ji ! iu
yuijiui a uuvuj gy vi"-f t