Dan Devine

Kobe Bryant goes 1-for-2 at putting on his fancy pants

Like most basketball-playing males between the ages of 16 and 38, Kobe Bryant(notes) has a simple pre-game ritual: He watches "White Men Can't Jump" two or three times, eats some tilapia sliders and thinks to himself, "Man, I'm totally going to dribble like Sidney Dean tonight." And like most of said males, he doesn't actually do it; he's far too busy being one of the greatest players in NBA history to waste time experimenting with mimicking Wesley Snipes' wholly unbelievable floor game.

You've got to love the precision of it — hard step right to the elbow, face dodge left toward the baseline to create space, one dribble to collect, stop quick, fade back, buckets. The sharp move nearly sent Hill careening into the camera folk (not where any Sun wants to be these days), put the Lakers up 11, forced a Phoenix timeout, opened the door for the now-quintessential jaw-jut and washed away the taint of his previous dishonor.

Turnover and dagger. Give and take. Yin and yang. Balance on the hardwood. Man, Kobe's really been listening to Phil all these years, huh?