My journey is simple. It's the means to help other human beings who are suffering. The problem is that I am torn and at odds with how to do that.

I have begun my own journey through the help of psilocybin. With my depression, anger, anxiety, and other ailments psilocybin seems to be the one constant that has allowed me to 'reboot' and go in a new or more imposing direction. Even my use of psilocybin has been an internal conflict for me. Growing up in a strict, religious household these 'bad' things were never something to even consider. Even now I am torn between my religious concerns and my ethical use of psilocybin.

However, I know my life's calling is to help other people. I changed careers many times just so I can hold a job and say, "I am making a difference." And I know I am. But currently, I am helping the body and the mind; not the soul.

This new conflict arose a few weeks ago at my physical therapy practice. I came out to speak to one of my patient's (a child) parent to provide an update. I saw a grimace on her face and quickly asked what was going on. In short, she needs to have a hysterectomy and is obviously saddened by the reality. Everything inside of me wanted to jump up and make them a concoction that I know has helped me come to terms with so much. I wanted to make something to ease the physical pain so she could work on her emotional pain. I wanted to be a guide of self-healing.

I took a step back mentally to reflect on what my intentions were and try to switch places. Obviously, I can't since I am incapable of carrying a child. So, I began to wonder how her husband must feel and what he might be going through emotionally. Sure, he would put up the 'tough guy' facade and be a great husband, protect his wife, and continue to provide for his family but the reality is: it doesn't mean he isn't emotionally suffering.

Everything in my being suddenly wants to reach out to help (not just these kind people) but many individuals who are suffering and need a guide. Those who have a lot to work through but not a single person can help them outside of themselves. And I am seriously torn on the legality of the helpful medicines that can ease mental suffering and anguish. This isn't medicine for the body or the mind; it's for the soul.

So, in short. Am I alone in this feeling? Am I sitting here thinking of how to help people using nature's resources and stuck between a conflicting legality and ethical concerns. Am I the only one compounding that by bringing in my own personal religious divisions? Seriously, am I alone?

I am not a religious person. I was brought up in a very religious home and was made to attend every time the doors open, so I pretty much know a lot of stuff concerning this. (And one reason I walked away). Here is my rhetoric concerning your dilemma. If god created the world, and everything on earth for us, then he made everything including natural substances. Animals in the wild are known for eating them to get high because they like the way it makes them feel. Why would natural substances be against Gods way if /she/he put them here for us?

I'm definitely in a similar boat as with legal concerns... Not so much ethnical, as I used to be a Lutheran, but organized religion just doesn't give me the spiritual feeling of what I conceive as true enlightenment. I think, if there is a god, or gods. These our our pathway to the truest of understandings, but they aren't the understandings themselves... That my friend is a secret you must discover threw meditation.
Psychoactive substances couldn't have been put here by the devil or dark forces as some organized religions may say. They are living and therefore sacred beings. The devil has no control of life, he's simply greed, envy, gluttony, hatred. Evil is what's within us and something we must overcome, and cleanse. There is no better substances than Psychedelics that can cleanses you of bad intention.
The universe/god/Gods, whatever it may be, created life, in turn us and every living being on this planet and in the universe.
There is nothing immoral in trying to better yourself, or help others threw use of enthogenics plants and fungis. Its natural medicine.

Remember, humans have used enthogenics plants... Well in all of recorded history, and we've even found evidence of it in prehistoric/lost history. They used these to cleanse their soul's, mind's and body's. They weren't savages for this either as popular science would have you believe(this is what the early racist or perhaps religious archeologists believed many modern sciences can explain a different story, which is honestly is much more believable knowing human nature)... These are the people who built the most complicated well built structures in the history of the world. STONEHENGE, The Pyrimids, The Nazca Lines are some examples.
Don't worry about judgement by a greater power, based on consuming a substance made out of the same thing your made of. I think whatever created all of us would recommend it:)

Sending good vibes your way. I know what it's like to struggle with depression, mania and anger.

Strange thing.... 40,000 people died in a year from a legal Rx. many people sitting in those pews are taking just these substances and feel justified by prescription. But give someone a fungus and the law comes ringing? What a weird world.