Post navigation

Beckham To Sign For AC Milan

Every day, late in the afternoon, I receive an email. I look forward to receiving this email every day. Why? Because it always puts a smile on my face. It has a very British, irreverant sense of humour. The latest to arrive into my inbox was no different, it contained the following, which I thought I’d share with you.

The Designated Player Rule in Major League Soccer allows every franchise to sign one player whose personal terms are not affected by the league’s salary cap regulations. Allowing clubs to compete for the very best talent in the international game, it is known colloquially as the Beckham Rule, and shatters the myth that Americans don’t do irony.

Possibly fed up with being a figure of fun across a whole continent [Europe], Beckham has seemingly decided to leave LA Galaxy and join AC Mil… oh dear.

Will you look at the state of their squad! The spine of the team – club captain Paolo Maldini, star striker Gianni Rivera and Brazilian goalkeeper Moacyr Barbosa – are all getting on a bit. Defensive midfielder Emerson is, according to Wikipedia, 70 years old (
http://guardian.chtah.com/a/tBI-0vMAY30QpAe9jDF$Pk9T82h/fvr22 ). And Andriy Shevchenko, 53, hasn’t scored a competitive goal since 1999 (the same year, coincidentally, lynchpin defender Philippe
Senderos is last thought to have closed his mouth).

And now they’re adding Becks to a heady mix that also includes the silky talents of Ronaldinho, when he can be bothered to use them, which is not often, bordering on never. “Beckham wants to train and play for Milan,” announced Adriano Galliani, the club’s vice-president. “Football today is about full stadiums and sponsors and superstars like Beckham fill them up,” Galliani went on to explain as part of a lecture entitled “Why Football Is Not Worth Bothering About Any More”.

Of course this move, to be effected on January 1, doesn’t mean Beckham is no longer an object of extreme irony. For Milan is known as the style capital of the world, and will therefore be an interesting home for a man sporting a tattoo which looks like someone has gaffer-taped a house brick to the back of his neck.

My sincere thanks to The Fiver for another excellent “tongue-in-check” exposé!