Denver police seek the dirty Thong Bandit

TO Sloan’s Lake, Denver, Colorado, where police are seeking a man wearing a thong. Oddly, police have nicknamed him the Thong Bandit, although he appears to be sporting his own knickers.

District 1 Commander Paul Pazen tells us:

“We’re looking for an individual who we have titled the ‘Thong Bandit’. He is fully clothed somewhere in the mouth of an alley, will disrobe down to a thong and expose himself further in front of female citizens in northwest Denver. It’s a crime to expose yourself to folks. We need to make sure that he doesn’t take that next step.”

The next step for a man who stripped down to a thong would be, presumably, to go back and pick up the rest of his clothes.

The underwear colour has changed over time, police say. Initially they were looking for somebody wearing a pink thong, most recent report indicate the thong is now black, or a dark colour.

Someone tell the underwear checkers!

Putting on our sleuthing hats we can deduce that this is definitely his own thong. It was pink and now – get this – it’s a darker colour. What odds this man lives alone without a washing machine?