Can’t Get It Up: 10 Foods That Might Be Choking The Life Out Of Your…Libido

Recently we stumbled across several stories about food that kills the fun the in bedroom. Though some of these claims sound like they could be fugazi, it never hurts to hear them out. Besides, some of them are just funny!

Flip the page and take a look at the stuff you need to stay away from if you plan on getting some action after breakfast, lunch, or dinner.

Image via MadamNoire

Corn Flakes

The maker of Corn Flakes, John Harvey Kellogg, thought that bland cereal without sugar would keep the sexual desires to a minimum, boy was he wrong.

Gin and Tonic

According to Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg this is EXACTLY what you need to get the party in your pants started. But upon further review, the quinine that is in tonic water is associated with lowering testosterone, and we all know what too much alcohol will do to a drunken man’s member…

Soy

Although there is no strong medical evidence that suggests that soy is an anti-aphrodisiac, monks have long-believed that it would decrease sexual desire. And if the conspiracy theory needs more gasoline on it’s unproven fire, Morningstar Farms is one of the biggest producers of soy products and it is owned by the aforementioned Kellogg Corporation.

Mints

Might be good for your breath in the PROCESS of trying to get some, but it definitely will leave you a lil short when it comes to CLOSING the deal. The menthol in the mints is said to reduce testosterone and “cool” off the body. Might wanna stick to the toothbrush if you plan on “swinging an episode”

Cilantro

Again, credit to this theory goes to monks that believed that this herb would curb the lust that burns inside of men from time to time (or all the time).

Graham Crackers

Rev. Sylvester Graham is credited with “inventing” this semi-sweet snack in the mid 1800’s because he believed that eating meats caused a ravenous appetite for other “flesh” and thus created a bland, flour-based food that would “cure” folks of their raging hormones.

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Licorice

It is claimed that licorice can inhibit one’s freaky feelings, but a LOT of it would have to be eaten to notice in significant change. But this shouldn’t be a problem because most people hate licorice…

Okra

Okra tends to be a food that people have a love-hate relationship with. But we have found rumors and claims that this too will kill your chances of a “happy ending” to your date. Our advice, skip the soul food spot and take your lovely lady to a seafood place and fill her with oysters!

Salpeter

There is really no good reason to be ingesting saltpeter. For those that have never heard of such a substance, saltpeter is a powder that was formally mixed when “tonics” and other medicines were popular. It was said to work like a muscle relaxer. The Army was rumored to have slipped this into soldiers food to keep their mind off of boot-knockin’. Who knows, but it’s far from tasty so just stay away regardless.

Granola

Great for fiber, digestion, nutrients, but terrible for gettin BUSY!

Here was a hilarious story behind this “chop”-blocker food:

In 1863 (so about four decades after Graham), a guy named James Caleb Jackson made the first cold cereal in America. He called it granula — it was basically crushed graham crackers — and, he believed, its grain-based tastelessness would help make people less sexual.

One of the people who liked Jackson’s ideas was Ellen White, the eventual founder of Seventh Day Adventism. She started the first sanitarium in Battle Creek — the one that Kellogg would ultimately run. And when he did start running the place, he liked the idea for granula so much that he stole it and started marketing it.

Jackson sued him over the name, so Kellogg changed it to granola… did a better job of marketing it… and eventually became the go-to guy for granola.