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As January comes to a close, I'm putting a lot of thought into making the rest of this year really count. Here are some ideas:

1 Give yourself 5 minutes to sit, breathe, and do nothing else.

2 Be polite.

3 Stand naked in front of a mirror for a long time, under unflattering
light if possible. Trace the rises and falls of the little ripples on
your skin — the scars, the dimples, the cellulite — and think about how
much you try to hide these things in your day-to-day. Wonder why you
hate them so much, and if this hate stems from somewhere within
yourself, or as a result of being told all your life that it’s wrong to
have physical flaws (source).

4 Start your own business.

5 Try Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.

6 Send care packages to friends far from home.

7 Set up scheduled payments on all your bills.

8 Meditate.

9 Write a list of things you like about yourself. Add one item to it every day for a month. Hang it somewhere you'll see it, like the fridge or bathroom mirror.

10 Host a dinner party.

11 Learn to walk in high heels.

12 Talk to someone you admire on Twitter, or write them a letter.

13 Try something new.

14 Get a tattoo or piercing, dye your hair or try a new shade of lipstick.

15 Visit the library (and get a library card, if you don't have one already!).

48 Put a small personal touch on everything you do. –
Think of it as branding your work. If you’re funny, add a little humor
into it. If you’re an artist, decorate it with illustrations. Whatever
you do, customize it with a little personal touch of ‘you.’ [Source].

I get accustomed to a motion that lasts for at least a few days... Say, a 30+ hour bus ride or a class or spending a lot of time with someone for a week straight.

When that changes, I'm shaken.

Like today.

I'm so used to this routine of being with my mom nearly 24/7 after our 1 and a half week-long trip, that now I don't know what to do with myself when I'm alone. It makes me anxious. Verge-of-a-panic-attack anxious. And I don't know what to do about it.

Every therapist I've seen has prescribed routine. But what do you do when your routine is not routine? I'm not sure yet.

Leo Babauta's New Rules of Fitness is a brilliant post. Here's my favourite part:Let’s take a cue from how we actually live and think today, and change up fitness... If we take cues from our online world today, here’s how we’d do fitness... In the world of tweets and SMS messages, long classes or gym workouts
or jogging sessions just don’t seem to fit. We don’t have time for all
of that. So toss out the workout, and instead think of fitness as small
as a tweet. Sprint up a hill after getting off the train or parking your
car. Sprint up a flight of stairs as you go into the office. Do some
pushups before a meeting. Do some squats after sitting for 30 minutes.
Pick up a friend, put him on your shoulders, and carry him for a block.
Let’s call it a fitness bit instead of a workout.

I can't believe I've been in Florida for almost a week! Already, though, it's nearly time to go back to Toronto. It's true: time flies!

I'm sad that I'll be heading back to the cold, away from Florida (where I feel so at home). But I'm trying to look on the bright side. A gratitude list often helps me put things into perspective, so here goes:

It was way after my bedtime, but I heard music and wanted to know where it was coming from. I crept into the family room and curled up on the couch, intrigued.

Do you hear the people sing?/ Singing the song of angry men?/ It is the music of a people/ who will not be slaves again!/ When the beating of your heart/ echoes the beating of the drums/ there is a life about to start/ when tomorrow comes!

What ever this music was, it was powerful. It made my little heart skip a beat... It sounded political. I didn't know much about politics, but I thought it was wonderful that Canada's leaders got together to sing about our freedom.

"Why is the prime minister singing, Mommy?".

My parents, totally engrossed in the film, hadn't noticed me until then. They both looked at me, bemused. "The prime minister? This is a musical. Les Miserables".

Okay, so it wasn't the government performing (and my parents still laugh at me for thinking that when I was 7). But that night, my life was changed forever.

+

A few months later, I was sitting at the kitchen table, helping my mom make dinner. I grated cheese as I told her about my day at school.

A precocious, theatre-obsessed 10 year-old, I put on 'shows' for my family at all our get-togethers. I made costumes, choreographed dance routines, memorized songs and made flyers, enlisting my cousins to perform with me (they sometimes complied).

Most of the time, my relatives would watch for five minutes, then go back to their Cribbage games or hors d'oeuvres, causing me to stamp my little feet and cry, "the show must go on!".

But one Saturday, wearing a little pink chiffon nightie, smeared rouge on my cheeks and flowers in my hair, I sang, "I dreamed a dream in time gone by /when hope was high and life worth living...". For some reason, they listened. All eyes were on me. I kept singing, finishing the song with a high note, crumpling to the ground, 'dead'.

I don't know what made them pay attention that day. I know it wasn't my voice (which has always sub-par, killing the dream I dreamed of being a Broadway star... but that's another blog post). Perhaps it was the conviction with which I sang the words of a tragic classic? I've always been full of emotion, and an old soul.

+

In junior high, I was a drama nerd. I was a lead in the school play, wore elaborate costumes on a daily basis, and spent all my extracurricular time in the drama classroom. So of course, I was first to find out that our class was going to see Les Miserables at the Canon Theatre.

I screamed. "Mr Matheson, that's my favourite musical!". My friends knew that already (and were aware that I had had the whole thing memorized since I was 8), so they just rolled their eyes.

It wasn't my first time seeing a live Broadway show, but it was one of the best experiences (at a theatre and in general) I've ever had.

+

I was in Alexandria, pacing around my hotel room and fiddling with the TV remote. I was feeling anxious, and hoping a morning in (preferably with something good to watch) would help. Turning to PBS, I froze. The 25th Anniversary performance of Les Mis was on TV! Just what I needed.

Happily sinking into bed, I realized: this musical has been part of my life for as long as I can remember. It's helped shape my world view (not to mention my taste in music). I consider that a blessing.

+

This is the longest Music Monday post I've ever written. But last night, I finally got to see the 2012 adaptation of Les Miserables, and I have to talk about it, or I'll burst!

To sum up how I feel about it:

+Best Gavroche ever. EVER.

+Eponine was amazing. For the record, she's my favourite character.

+I love Colm Wilkinson (see above). His cameo made me smile. I'm glad the film gave lifelong Les Mis fans a nod by casting him as the Bishop.

4 But use them sparingly. The right adjective can breathe life into your writing... [but] two adjectives to a single noun are usually too many, and even one is risky (source).

5 Use sentence fragments. Occasionally. But, be sure to use them only in certain situations, and for emphasis.

6 If the piece you're writing is informal (say, a blog post or a penpal letter, rather than a business letter or a college essay), use contractions. Doesn't 'I'm having a party and you're invited" sound friendlier than "I am having a party and you are invited"?

As 2013 begins, setting goals is on my mind. I don't believe in resolutions, but mapping out an idea of what I want to work towards this year? That's an idea I can get behind! Here are my 5 main goals for 2013:

1 A 365 project. I tried the 365 self portraits project in 2011 and only got to 70 before losing motivation. This year, I'll aim to take one photo each day, of anything: myself, my friends and family, my projects and surroundings. Here's hoping I'll beat my previous accomplishtment.

2 Earn more income from freelancing. I know (and know of) freelancers who are making 5- and 6-figure salaries! I'm relatively new, especially to charging for my work (I've done quite a few unpaid, but worthwhile projects as well as some paid projects), but I feel 2013 is the time to really make a leap in terms of supporting myself creatively.

3 Buckle down and get my other projects, like my mental health coaching, and Stars and Stripes Eh on their feet.

4 Travel! This is obvious, but I feel the need to list it, all the same.

5 Get healthy. I often feel hopeless about this, because it seems I have the odds stacked against me-- chronic fatigue, PCOS, Panic Disorder-- but I'm determined to fight for my health. I want to eat more fruit, vegetables and whole grains, and exercise more. Weight loss isn't my goal; fitness is. And I'm determined!