College education

My husbands grandmother drives me CRAZY! Anyway she told my 15 year old I don't need to have any more children because I am not going to be able to put them through college or help them with their first car. My children are 15, 14, 9, 9 and 11 months. We may have another. I am not sure. Anyway do you think a parent is obligated to pay for their child's car or college? For people who are gonna ask, I am not on ga, my husband has a good job and we are in the process of buying a house.

My husbands grandmother drives me CRAZY! Anyway she told my 15 year old I don't need to have any more children because I am not going to be able to put them through college or help them with their first car. My children are 15, 14, 9, 9 and 11 months. We may have another. I am not sure. Anyway do you think a parent is obligated to pay for their child's car or college? For people who are gonna ask, I am not on ga, my husband has a good job and we are in the process of buying a house.

No, I do not feel that a parent is obligated to pay for their child's post secondary education entirely. I think all students should assume some of the burden of the cost of attendance - even if Mom and Dad are Moneybags McGee. That could be through a part-time job or taking on student loans. It would seriously give a reality check to the masses of entitled brats I have to deal with daily.

But... whether you feel obligated to or not, I should just throw out there that the federal government believes you are obligated to help out and calculates financial aid eligibility accordingly.

In order to be eligible for any type of financial aid, a student is required to complete a FAFSA (free application for federal student aid). Students are considered dependent students and MUST provide parent income information unless very specific criteria are met (see below). This is whether the parents are willing to pay or not. So just an FYI.

If your son or daughter can not claim any of these conditions (this is for Academic Year 2011-12), then your income will be considered when determining your son or daughter's financial aid eligiblity

If you can answer No to all of the following questions, you are considered a dependent student on the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA):

Were you born before January 1, 1988?

As of today are you married?

At the beginning of the 2011-2012 school year, will you be working on a
master's or doctorate program (such as an MA, MBA, MD, JD, PhD, EdD, or
graduate certificate, etc.)?

Are you currently serving on active duty in the U.S. Armed Forces for purposes other than training?

Are you a veteran of the U.S. Armed Forces?

Do you have children who will receive more than half of their support from you between July 1, 2011 and June 30, 2012?

Do you have dependents (other than your children or spouse) who live
with you and who receive more than half of their support from you, now
and through June 30, 2012?

At any time since you
turned age 13, were both your parents deceased, were you in foster care
or were you a dependent or ward of the court?

As determined by a court in your state of legal residence, are you or were you an emancipated minor?

As determined by a court in your state of legal residence, are you or were you in legal guardianship?

At any time on or after July 1, 2010, did your high school or school
district homeless liaison determine that you were an unaccompanied
youth who was homeless?

At any time on or after July
1, 2010, did the director of an emergency shelter or transitional
housing program funded by the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban
Development determine that you were an unaccompanied youth who was
homeless?

At any time on or after July 1, 2010, did
the director of a runaway or homeless youth basic center or
transitional living program determine that you were an unaccompanied
youth who was homeless or were self-supporting and at risk of being
homeless?

If you are considered a dependent student, your parents must answer the parental questions on the FAFSA.

If you can answer Yes to any
of the questions above, you are considered an independent student and
information about your parents is not required on the FAFSA .

No, I do not feel that a parent is obligated to pay for their child's post secondary education entirely. I think all students should assume some of the burden of the cost of attendance - even if Mom and Dad are Moneybags McGee. That could be through a part-time job or taking on student loans. It would seriously give a reality check to the masses of entitled brats I have to deal with daily.

But... whether you feel obligated to or not, I should just throw out there that the federal government believes you are obligated to help out and calculates financial aid eligibility accordingly.

In order to be eligible for any type of financial aid, a student is required to complete a FAFSA (free application for federal student aid). Students are considered dependent students and MUST provide parent income information unless very specific criteria are met (see below). This is whether the parents are willing to pay or not. So just an FYI.

If your son or daughter can not claim any of these conditions (this is for Academic Year 2011-12), then your income will be considered when determining your son or daughter's financial aid eligiblity

If you can answer No to all of the following questions, you are considered a dependent student on the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA):

Were you born before January 1, 1988?

As of today are you married?

At the beginning of the 2011-2012 school year, will you be working on a
master's or doctorate program (such as an MA, MBA, MD, JD, PhD, EdD, or
graduate certificate, etc.)?

Are you currently serving on active duty in the U.S. Armed Forces for purposes other than training?

Are you a veteran of the U.S. Armed Forces?

Do you have children who will receive more than half of their support from you between July 1, 2011 and June 30, 2012?

Do you have dependents (other than your children or spouse) who live
with you and who receive more than half of their support from you, now
and through June 30, 2012?

At any time since you
turned age 13, were both your parents deceased, were you in foster care
or were you a dependent or ward of the court?

As determined by a court in your state of legal residence, are you or were you an emancipated minor?

As determined by a court in your state of legal residence, are you or were you in legal guardianship?

At any time on or after July 1, 2010, did your high school or school
district homeless liaison determine that you were an unaccompanied
youth who was homeless?

At any time on or after July
1, 2010, did the director of an emergency shelter or transitional
housing program funded by the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban
Development determine that you were an unaccompanied youth who was
homeless?

At any time on or after July 1, 2010, did
the director of a runaway or homeless youth basic center or
transitional living program determine that you were an unaccompanied
youth who was homeless or were self-supporting and at risk of being
homeless?

If you are considered a dependent student, your parents must answer the parental questions on the FAFSA.

If you can answer Yes to any
of the questions above, you are considered an independent student and
information about your parents is not required on the FAFSA .

Yeah I had these problems too. I am not saying I wouldn't help out if a. I can and b. If my child was doing their part. Each of my children is different and it will depend on each child's interest and effort.

Yeah I had these problems too. I am not saying I wouldn't help out if a. I can and b. If my child was doing their part. Each of my children is different and it will depend on each child's interest and effort.

i will be providing that for my LO. as long as she has above a 3.0, i will pay 100%.Â

i was offered scholarships (sometimes almost 60%) from many D-1 schools when i was a HS senior. I had to turn them down bc my dad wouldn't pay for the other 40%. i do feel that i was jipped from some amazing opportunities.Â

I could've went to Villanova! Instead I had to go to a community college for two years; then i earned an academic scholarship. Yes, I did learn about hard work and yada-yada. I am, however, still upset about missing out on being on a D-1 team and getting an ivy league education.

btw... my dad totally could have afforded it, he just felt like we all needed to pay our own way for some type of hard-knocks lesson.

i will be providing that for my LO. as long as she has above a 3.0, i will pay 100%.Â

i was offered scholarships (sometimes almost 60%) from many D-1 schools when i was a HS senior. I had to turn them down bc my dad wouldn't pay for the other 40%. i do feel that i was jipped from some amazing opportunities.Â

I could've went to Villanova! Instead I had to go to a community college for two years; then i earned an academic scholarship. Yes, I did learn about hard work and yada-yada. I am, however, still upset about missing out on being on a D-1 team and getting an ivy league education.

btw... my dad totally could have afforded it, he just felt like we all needed to pay our own way for some type of hard-knocks lesson.

No parent is obligated to provide more than necessities for their children. I will take many factors into consideration before buying my child a car or paying for their education beyond high school. If I do contribute financially it will be because my child has earned it in some way.

No parent is obligated to provide more than necessities for their children. I will take many factors into consideration before buying my child a car or paying for their education beyond high school. If I do contribute financially it will be because my child has earned it in some way.

College, yes. But not obligated by law/society, I feel obligated morally to do it as a parent. The thought of sending my 18yo into this expensive 21st century world and expecting them to deftly float their own financial boat with regards to higher education just gives me hives, and I honestly do not and will not ever understand this concept. I am totally on board with kids contributing and learning responsibility and stuff, but expecting them to scrape together thousands of dollars as a still-teenager when I have the ability to help out is just.....no.

And yes, I know it can be done, I know some folks here have done it and expect the same from their kids, and I don't care. Do what you feel is best for your children, I personally will be assisting mine.

Car, no. There's always the bus.

College, yes. But not obligated by law/society, I feel obligated morally to do it as a parent. The thought of sending my 18yo into this expensive 21st century world and expecting them to deftly float their own financial boat with regards to higher education just gives me hives, and I honestly do not and will not ever understand this concept. I am totally on board with kids contributing and learning responsibility and stuff, but expecting them to scrape together thousands of dollars as a still-teenager when I have the ability to help out is just.....no.

And yes, I know it can be done, I know some folks here have done it and expect the same from their kids, and I don't care. Do what you feel is best for your children, I personally will be assisting mine.

I used to work at a very high cost ($50,000+ a year), private institution. College is not for everyone - and I say that without so much regard to intelligence as to maturity. Some 18 year olds can't handle the freedom of being away from home for the first time and make very bad choices. Kids would screw up and piss away their parents' money and have nothing but a .6667 gpa to show for it. I saw it hundreds of times.

I think that's a good approach.

I used to work at a very high cost ($50,000+ a year), private institution. College is not for everyone - and I say that without so much regard to intelligence as to maturity. Some 18 year olds can't handle the freedom of being away from home for the first time and make very bad choices. Kids would screw up and piss away their parents' money and have nothing but a .6667 gpa to show for it. I saw it hundreds of times.

If that was the case I would do it. That's what I meant in my previous post. If my child has put forth the effort I will bust my butt to help them. My daughter is in ap classes and has a 3.9 BUT she half-asses everything, isn't in any clubs or hs sports, has never taken an ap test because she knows she won't pass it. She does no hw on the weekends and only spends an hour a day max on hw. That won't fly in college. She starts her senior year Monday and now she wants to try to do all of that. I used to ride her a5s but after a meeting with her guidance counselor in her 10th grade year he told me to lay off. He said if she wanted it she would do it. He told me she needs to learn to do it on her own and to just not reward her when she screws up. He said if we were going to the movies and she had work not turned in to leave her at home. It has worked a little but not to the point that I think she could get a scholarship. She is very smart and could have gotten a free ride with just the slightest bit of effort. I don't want to reward that behavior.

If that was the case I would do it. That's what I meant in my previous post. If my child has put forth the effort I will bust my butt to help them. My daughter is in ap classes and has a 3.9 BUT she half-asses everything, isn't in any clubs or hs sports, has never taken an ap test because she knows she won't pass it. She does no hw on the weekends and only spends an hour a day max on hw. That won't fly in college. She starts her senior year Monday and now she wants to try to do all of that. I used to ride her a5s but after a meeting with her guidance counselor in her 10th grade year he told me to lay off. He said if she wanted it she would do it. He told me she needs to learn to do it on her own and to just not reward her when she screws up. He said if we were going to the movies and she had work not turned in to leave her at home. It has worked a little but not to the point that I think she could get a scholarship. She is very smart and could have gotten a free ride with just the slightest bit of effort. I don't want to reward that behavior.

"My daughter is in ap classes and has a 3.9 BUT she half-asses everything, isn't in any clubs or hs sports, has never taken an ap test because she knows she won't pass it. She does no hw on the weekends and only spends an hour a day max on hw. That won't fly in college."

Pfffft. Are you kidding? This pretty much describes my 4-year undergrad. If you're smart, you can loaf through 85% of college courses easily.

"My daughter is in ap classes and has a 3.9 BUT she half-asses everything, isn't in any clubs or hs sports, has never taken an ap test because she knows she won't pass it. She does no hw on the weekends and only spends an hour a day max on hw. That won't fly in college."

Pfffft. Are you kidding? This pretty much describes my 4-year undergrad. If you're smart, you can loaf through 85% of college courses easily.

I feel like its my responsibility to pay for my daughters drivers ed & related costs (not cheap! I have a 15 yo as well) but if she wants a car, she will buy her own and pay for her own gas. I will probably pay the insurance as long as she is keeping grades up and finds a small job to be paying for the gas/extras and is proving she can handle both school & work. Driving & having a car is a privilege. Paying for college is a non-issue for me, since I can't.

I feel like its my responsibility to pay for my daughters drivers ed & related costs (not cheap! I have a 15 yo as well) but if she wants a car, she will buy her own and pay for her own gas. I will probably pay the insurance as long as she is keeping grades up and finds a small job to be paying for the gas/extras and is proving she can handle both school & work. Driving & having a car is a privilege. Paying for college is a non-issue for me, since I can't.

Agree - I'm not sure from my earlier post it came across that way. I too will be helping with my kids' education because I feel it is my responsibility. I want my kids to go to college, and will do what I can to ensure their success in college. Most 18 year olds do not have the financial resources to attend school full time and pay for it on his or her own without assuming mountains of debt

That said - I also expect my kids to share some of the burden of the cost of attendance - through a part time job and federal student loans. I think it teaches responsibility. Studies have shown that students who work at a part-time job (under 20 hours per week) actually demonstrate better academic performance because it develops time management skills. Or as my Dad said - it puts hair on your chest.

Agree - I'm not sure from my earlier post it came across that way. I too will be helping with my kids' education because I feel it is my responsibility. I want my kids to go to college, and will do what I can to ensure their success in college. Most 18 year olds do not have the financial resources to attend school full time and pay for it on his or her own without assuming mountains of debt

That said - I also expect my kids to share some of the burden of the cost of attendance - through a part time job and federal student loans. I think it teaches responsibility. Studies have shown that students who work at a part-time job (under 20 hours per week) actually demonstrate better academic performance because it develops time management skills. Or as my Dad said - it puts hair on your chest.

I think it is in the childs well being to do good in high school and get good grades so that they can qualify for scholarships for college. I am about to graduate with my bachelors degree in December, and not once did I or my parents have to pay for tuition or books. I received many scholarships that I even had money left over for me every semester. I also think once a teenager is 16 they should find a part time job so that they can learn some work ethic and responsibility. That could help them save money to buy their own car.

I think it is in the childs well being to do good in high school and get good grades so that they can qualify for scholarships for college. I am about to graduate with my bachelors degree in December, and not once did I or my parents have to pay for tuition or books. I received many scholarships that I even had money left over for me every semester. I also think once a teenager is 16 they should find a part time job so that they can learn some work ethic and responsibility. That could help them save money to buy their own car.

I do not think a parent is obligated to pay for post secondary education. If they can though, I think paying part or all of their child's education is a generous thing. I think that it helps to provide your child with amzing opportunities in life and relieves them of the financial burden of being in debt after they graduate. I can't imagine having started my life after university $60,000 in debt.

I am the type of person though who sees school as a full time job for children. I do not expect my child to work during the school year either in high school or post secondary. They can work during the summer. I will encourage my children to apply for all of the scholarships and bursaries they can. They can save up their own money by working during summers. We have a RESP (registered educational savings plan) already set up.

I never worked much during high school. I baby sat on weekends and in grade 13 I had a small part time job. In university I only worked during the year during my 4th and 5th years. I worked full time during the summers and helped pay for my tuition/rent etc. My firht year I took out a $10,000 line of credit and my parents helped with the rest. In no way do I think that this made me a person who felt entitled. Nor do I think my parents failed in teaching me the value of money. I think people who feel like this are sadly mistaken and maybe are a bit jealous or resentful that they paid their own way. I give people who did pay their own way a lot of credit, but in no way do I think they are more deserving or hard working. They just received their education under different circumstances.

I do not think a parent is obligated to pay for post secondary education. If they can though, I think paying part or all of their child's education is a generous thing. I think that it helps to provide your child with amzing opportunities in life and relieves them of the financial burden of being in debt after they graduate. I can't imagine having started my life after university $60,000 in debt.

I am the type of person though who sees school as a full time job for children. I do not expect my child to work during the school year either in high school or post secondary. They can work during the summer. I will encourage my children to apply for all of the scholarships and bursaries they can. They can save up their own money by working during summers. We have a RESP (registered educational savings plan) already set up.

I never worked much during high school. I baby sat on weekends and in grade 13 I had a small part time job. In university I only worked during the year during my 4th and 5th years. I worked full time during the summers and helped pay for my tuition/rent etc. My firht year I took out a $10,000 line of credit and my parents helped with the rest. In no way do I think that this made me a person who felt entitled. Nor do I think my parents failed in teaching me the value of money. I think people who feel like this are sadly mistaken and maybe are a bit jealous or resentful that they paid their own way. I give people who did pay their own way a lot of credit, but in no way do I think they are more deserving or hard working. They just received their education under different circumstances.

I had a lot of friends who were in that situation where their parents made too much and wouldn't co sign for loans. I would never do that to my child. I would at least co sign so that they would have the opportuninty. I think that there is a way around that, but it is tricky and I think you have to declare yourself emancipated or something. Even when I went to university for year 5 I still couldn't get around it.

I had a lot of friends who were in that situation where their parents made too much and wouldn't co sign for loans. I would never do that to my child. I would at least co sign so that they would have the opportuninty. I think that there is a way around that, but it is tricky and I think you have to declare yourself emancipated or something. Even when I went to university for year 5 I still couldn't get around it.

II believe if you are not living at home and/or you enter as a mature student (over 21) then it doesn't matter but I'm not sure about other options.

This guy I went to school with got a $2000 grant and $4000 OSAP loan because his parents were poor.Aaaandd....he bought a motorcycle with the money. He failed his classes, dropped out, and is now having to pay it all back.

I don't think its fair to base it on how much parents make because it
doesn't mean anything in my opinion.

II believe if you are not living at home and/or you enter as a mature student (over 21) then it doesn't matter but I'm not sure about other options.

This guy I went to school with got a $2000 grant and $4000 OSAP loan because his parents were poor.Aaaandd....he bought a motorcycle with the money. He failed his classes, dropped out, and is now having to pay it all back.

I don't think its fair to base it on how much parents make because it
doesn't mean anything in my opinion.

that must be so frustrating! i teach AP & i know it's not easy to do well... so she's has the intelligence, she just needs the motivation. is she in 11th grade this year? if so, a lot of parents see a drastic change this year. Â they start to realize that college is coming. also, parents get to use the car as a motivator (you can use the car if you do x,y,z).

god help me when ryan becomes a teen... she so freaking cute it's hard to say no. i better start toughening up now ha

that must be so frustrating! i teach AP & i know it's not easy to do well... so she's has the intelligence, she just needs the motivation. is she in 11th grade this year? if so, a lot of parents see a drastic change this year. Â they start to realize that college is coming. also, parents get to use the car as a motivator (you can use the car if you do x,y,z).

god help me when ryan becomes a teen... she so freaking cute it's hard to say no. i better start toughening up now ha

The material on this website is provided for educational purposes only and is not to be used for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment, or in place of therapy or medical care. Use of this site is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy

Advertising Notice

This Site and third parties who place advertisements on this Site may collect and use information about your visits to this Site and other websites in order to provide advertisements about goods and services of interest to you. If you would like to obtain more information about these advertising practices and to make choices about online behavioral advertising, please click here