6 Basic Rules to Live a Truly Fulfilling Life

When you get older and you develop a mundane routine you start do things without realizing it. You become disconnected, just going through the motions.

You may not even know that you’re doing it or how you started until you have that random moment of awareness. The instance when you become intensely conscious of your environment or actions.

That’s what happened to me one day, I was just driving in the car and I became painfully aware that life was very blah. I couldn’t remember the last time I got really excited. I couldn’t think of anything I truly enjoyed.

If was like somewhere down the line my feelings were turned off. I didn’t know how it happened but I just realized I wasn’t feeling it anymore. It definitely felt like something was missing, I just couldn’t figure out what.

As I continued to think about simple things I used to enjoy, I realized that had faded too.

Food didn’t even have the same taste. Dishes that I once loved seemed like they had no flavor. Like, I had somehow become immune to it.

I couldn’t make simple decisions about things I wanted to do. I felt disconnected from myself.

I started to think something was wrong with me.

I was trying to spice things up in all aspects of life but nothing really seemed to take. It was like it didn’t matter, nothing was working.

I knew I had to figure it out. I definitely didn’t want the rest of my life to be like this or worse. I didn’t want to mope around forever or lead a dull feeling life. I realized this was just the beginning, things would get worse, making every day a challenge.

When you start to fall into one of these kinds of ruts it feels like it’s pointless to do anything. Especially when you tried a variety of things like I did with no immediate difference.

At the end of the day you need to feel something in your life to be satisfied, even if it’s small in the grand scheme of things.

Becoming Detached

All these feelings come about when you’re lacking fulfillment in your life. You aren’t happy with anything because there isn’t much for you to get excited about.

You have nothing to be passionate about. There’s nothing you love, your feeling about everything is eh, indifference.

In fact, subconsciously you’re constantly reminded of this which is why your feelings include distress.

Somewhere along the lines you let the things that were important to you fall by the wayside. You let go or forgot about them. You let the routine you develop distract you from your goals.

Now you’re constantly reminded that you don’t have anything meaningful around.

Reconnecting

It’s amazing how the littlest things can make the biggest impact. You don’t have to overwhelm yourself with trying to change the world to feel fulfilled. There are 6 basic things that you can do that impact your daily life that can make all the difference.

Feeling a sense of satisfaction in life is part of everyone’s dream. Living the life you always imagined is fulfilling in itself because it’s your deepest dream and goals coming to life. It’s who you are or want to become.

These 6 basic rules will help you live the life you want with immense gratification.

1. Be true to yourself

Be honest with yourself. Don’t convince yourself that something is what it isn’t. That’s not going to make things any better. In fact it would make them worse for you. Take things for what they are and if you don’t like them change them.

Realistically evaluate what you’re doing with your life. Determine if it’s what you really want. If it’s not, figure out what would make you happy.

2. Get comfortable with your decisions

Don’t chose to do something that you know aren’t going to be happy with. Avoid going with the flow when you know it isn’t right.

Make decisions based on what works for you or makes you happy regardless of the opinions of others. At the end of the day you have to live with the results. Do it because you think it’s right for you at the moment.

Even if you’re wrong, you’ve learned about yourself and you’re still the one in control of your life. That’s much better than being at the mercy of someone else.

If you follow someone else’s orders all you will have learned is not to listen to that person again. And that won’t get you too much closer to your desires or happiness.

3. Get over your fears

Your fears are the result of your mind playing horrible tricks on you. For some reason it’s trying to make you think that the worse will always happen.

Even if things don’t go exactly according to plan, you’ll still be farther along than before and with powerful knowledge you couldn’t have gained any other way.

4. Drop the grudges

You were probably led to believe that holding a grudge against someone affected them more than you. Like it was a way to punish or remind them of something awful they did.

Grudges actually impact you more. You’re the one that’s focused on them and the negative outcome. You’re making all the extra effort, carrying the load. You’re harboring negativity.

Let it go and refocus on the things that make you happy.

5. Go for it

If you want something, go and get it. Stop wasting your time waiting for something to happen, instead make something happen.

Lea is a certified life coach, foodie and lifehack expert. Don’t end up like the millions of people who gave up on their dreams, get unstuck and to the next level. Take the eye-opening Live Your Dreams course now to get moving!

Great one, and much needed for everyone. For me, points 2, 3 and 4 stand out as I could relate them to me. I have always struggled to make decisions by worrying more about their outcomes, fear has paralyzed my pursuit of many things in life and finally, having a grudge against someone has always affected me, and at times made me look like a fool.

I know the feeling. I used to hold grudges against other people also. I though it was so effective in continuing to punish and remind the other person how they wronged me. Boy was I wrong. I just made myself miserable.

I’ve always liked the idea of dropping grudges. If they’re in the past, you should let them stay there. If you’re still holding on to them, then you haven’t quite moved on – and you should. That doesn’t mean you have to let the person back into your life, it just means getting rid of that negative attitude and feelings. Personally, I’d rather look ahead to what awaits me rather than what has already passed.

This is something that I been through quite a few times. And you know what? it really really sucks LOL

But the one that that really got me out of this rut was tip #5. There were quite a few goals I wanted to accomplished in the past but never put myself to do it. There were a couple of reasons for this.

1. I was waiting for the right moment
2. I was waiting for others to join me

And you know there is no right moment, and if you wait for others, usually you won’t get to it.

So I just took the bull by the horn and went through it. And to be honest with you, I felt more fulfilled. I may have gotten some jealousy from others, but I don’t care LOL At least I’ve done something for myself that fulfilled my spirit!

Grudges are tricky because you think you’re hurting the other person but the turth is you are the one carrying the burden. So you most certaintly need to lose them to effectively move on. You should spend much energy on things that do not benefit you. They shouldn’t become you, as you said, it doesn’t define you.

I’ve been there my friend so I can totally relate to what you’re saying. Those that just want to stay in that place won’t do anything about it but we both know that’s not you!

Your tips are very helpful and I agree, stay true to yourself and don’t do something because you just feel you should. Do it because you want to and you know it’s the right direction for you to take.

We all get past this feeling, I think it probably happens to everyone at some point and time. Just recognizing it, think hard on what it is you need to change and then go for it. It’s not always easy but it sure is worth it.

There have been times where I’ve felt detached and things didn’t feel the same as they normally did and your tip #1 is really what helped me out. If you’re true to yourseld, you can get through anything.

Also, an important thing you mentioned here is to get over your grudges. Holding grudges can definintely hold you bac and get you in a not so positive mood.

I really feel like that is the foundation for it all. If you’re fooling yourself you’re never going to be able to get to the place where you feel whole again.

Yes, holding grudges is like taking poison. You think you’re punishing the other person but honestly you’re just hurting yourself. In the end, you’re probably putting more focus on it than the other person, which keeps you in the same stagnant place.

I could resonate with that bla feeling. I had gone through that several years ago myself for a short while. But for me, it was a wake-up call to make changes in my life. Now where can one start doing this in that emotional vacuum?

Well you listed many things that can help get you out of land of the blues to the land of freedom. It all starts with reconnecting as you have said. Yep, that’s where I found my lost “self” and I did have to work on it.

Slowly, but surely I started to change and dug deeper into who I was, breaking through those fear barriers, changing my thought process, oh boy…many things.

This is why I call it a wake up call and looking back it was a true blessing. It is a choice, we can push forward and break through, or stay stagnant. So glad you broke through with a lesson to share with us all.

It is a process but it’s one I feel we all need to go through when the time comes. Life shouldn’t be blah, it should be enjoyable. We aren’t meant to stay in the same place forever. We’re always changing and growing, that’s how you reach new peaks.

Thanks for sharing your experience and process of turning things around Donna.

First I want to say that I’m sorry you had to experience that, but life issues are our learning experiences and you certainly learned from this. Many people feel this way. I was about 42 when it felt like life had no more meaning other than the regular everyday blah blah stuff.

After thinking about what I wanted in my life, I decided to get up and just do something different. Changed my life. As you mentioned, I let go of the fears and started things moving. What a tremendous change that was for me then and even now.

My biggest thing was to go for it all as you stated. That was a great change internally for me and my life became ‘enlightening’ and fun, despite the ho-hum of everyday.

Great article and great insight. Many people can be helped by this article.
Barbara

I had a similar experience to the one you describe a couple years back. The sense of general bland ambivalence to everything. Like, there’s got to be more to life than this. And the 6 steps you’ve mentioned here perfectly outline the process that I went through and that led to me pursuing a writing career.

I’ll admit I didn’t do it out of ambition, or for the sense of attaining this lofty goal I’d set myself. I did it for survival. Like there was a part of me dying, and this was the only way to keep myself from flatlining. And I’ll tell you, it’s been tough at times but absolutely no part of me regrets choosing to, as you say, ‘go after it.’ To be honest, it almost didn’t really feel like a choice anyway.

But I think the thing is this – we never really regret taking risks when they come from point no.1 – being true to ourselves. And I know for myself however things turn out (they’re turning out pretty well at the moment but I’m aware this is a precarious business I’m in) I’ll always feel way better about having taken the plunge than I’d have felt about playing it safe and letting that piece of passion inside myself die its slow death in a career I was not intended for.

Thanks so much Micah! Omg, I’m so glad they correlate, that same process worked for me too.

Exactly, when you’re doing things like that for yourself it can be deemed a risk but it’s really something you need to do. When playing it safe isn’t really working what other choice do you have, ya know? You have to explore and figure out what works for you.

And since your career is a big part of your life its so important to do something that you enjoy. Good for you Micah!!

Thank you Lea for such a great uplifting post. Recently I have been feeling just the way you described it here in this post. I got so caught up in work and things that really was not adding value to my life but was sapping my energy. I lost passion for what mattered most to me.

I began to miss all the things that I had been doing that speaks to my purpose. I realized that I was not being true t myself. Now I am giving myself time to be me, and to be free to do what I enjoy the most.

Thank you Yvonne for reading it. It is so easy to get lost in the day to day, making less and less time for what you’re passionate about. I’m so glad you are working to get back to your true self.

Thanks for commenting, much appreciated.

~Lea

Ilka Emig

Thank you Lea!

This was a really great reminder to focus on the here and now and to be thankful and aware of the good in our lives. And letting go of grudges is the best thing you can do for your peace and yourself 🙂

Very true. The 7th rule I’m working on is “Be kind to yourself”. I do tend to “beat myself up” when actually if I stop and think about what I’ve achieved, it’s better than I give myself credit for. I also tend to drive myself really hard, so I’m working on allowing myself more free time, and time to do things I really enjoy.

You’re exactly right. It reminds me of a time when a friend wanted a new job but wasn’t doing anything about it. It wasn’t until he lost his current job that he finally took action. I still believe that if the former hadn’t happen he never would have done anything.

That’s great Neamat! I’m happy you took action. I’m sure you’ll be able to enjoy that achievement soon enough.

I’m so glad you enjoyed the post and am happy you stopped by also! You as well, enjoy the weekend.

I think a lack of fulfillment comes often for me when I’m not really true to myself, like you say in point 1. It’s not something that really happens deliberately, but it happens when I’m concentrating on meeting perceived responsibilities that take me away from what I really want to be doing with my life. Doing what doesn’t matter instead of doing what really does. Even just a little injection of doing what really matters tends to lift my spirits immediately.

You have given us some useful tools we can put in our tools box. It’s a must that we’re true to ourselves. This way we’re respecting ourselves and it’s really the only was we can practice the other five rules you listed.

And usually something is going on in our life that’s making us feel blah. But don’t be surprised when you’re feeling this way and everything in your life is going well. The key is trying your best to keep a positive attitude.

Absolutely right, Lea. There are also phases in my life where I am not feeling the right vibes. But, life is all about moving ahead by leaving all grudges behind. Wonderful post…Thanks for sharing your lovely story..

Hi Lea
Thank you for sharing your personal experience..I think a lot of people can relate. Like you said, it is easy to fall into a routine, and just get sucked in by life, not even realizing you are not happy.

Those moments of clarity can be quite powerful, but also distressing as people become more aware of how unhappy they have been. The good news is, though, that is the worst of it, and moving on from there, the pressure can ease with a commitment to taking some sort of step towards their more desired reality.

It may not be a huge thing, but anything that gets us into a better feeling space will be hugel beneficial and we will gain momentum from there.

Yes, those moments are quite eye opening but I think sometimes we need that to move forward.

Exactly, little things can have quite an impact. And when it comes down to it, if it makes you feel better its really not that small, it’s quite important actually.

~Lea

Lea

Welcome to the Leading Edge, I'm Lea. Here is where you'll find the support you need to get over the roadblocks and live the life that only seemed possible in your dreams. It may seem far fetched now but believe me it's not. I'm living proof! Read More…