Grits are a food made from corn that is ground into a coarse meal and then boiled. It is particularly popular in the United States; a country that also likes guns, white heterosexuals, guns and white heterosexuals with guns.

Coincidentally, the Indianapolis Motor Speedway is located here and happened to have a work placement space which the Spaniard said he would take whilst carrying out his number 1 priority of filling up on the oatmeal/polenta substitute.

“Of course, I’ve tried making it here in Europe but it’s just not the same,” Alonso continued.

“I need to go to where it’s made where I will consume my own body weight in the stuff to sate my craving.”

“Coincidentally also hitting the average driver weight for the 500 in the process,” he explained.