Helping Your Child Reduce Self-Harming Behavior

Self-harm, or inflicting physical harm onto one’s body to ease emotional distress, is not uncommon in kids and teens.

In fact, according to clinical psychologist Deborah Serani, PsyD, in her book Depression and Your Child: A Guide for Parents and Caregivers, about 15 percent of kids and teens engage in self-harm.

There are many forms of self-harm, including cutting, scratching, hitting and burning. Many kids and teens who self-harm also struggle with depression, anxiety, eating disorders, physical abuse or other serious concerns or psychological disorders.

These kids “don’t know how to verbalize their feelings, and instead, act them out by self-injuring,” Serani writes. Kids might self-harm to soothe deep sadness or other overwhelming emotions. They might do it to express self-loathing or shame. They might do it to express negative thoughts they can’t articulate. They might do it because they feel helpless.

Research has found that self-harm is an addictive behavior. “Clinical studies link the role of opiates. When a child self-harms these feel-good endorphins flood the bloodstream. The rush is so pleasing that a child learns to associate self-harm as soothing, instead of being destructive,” Serani writes.

Self-harm is called non-suicidal self-injury (NSSI) because there’s no intention to commit suicide. However, as Serani cautions in her book, self-injury can lead to deliberate suicide.

If you notice signs of self-harm, take your child to a therapist for a professional evaluation. A therapist will determine whether self-harm is suicidal or non-suicidal by administering a suicide assessment (and ascertain if other concerns are present). They’ll also teach your child healthy techniques for dealing with painful emotions or situations.

In addition to taking your child to see a mental health professional, there are other ways you can help them reduce the urge to self-harm. In Depression and Your Child, Serani lists these valuable tips.

1. Create a coping kit.

Put positive and uplifting items in a shoebox or another container, which your child can use when they get the urge to self-harm. This can be anything from a journal to art supplies to upbeat music to photos of friends, family or their heroes. Include anything your child finds calming or inspiring.

2. Model positive imagery.

Visualizing a beautiful, serene place is a great way to reduce anxiety or painful emotions. When you practice positive imagery in front of your child you help them strengthen these skills. Serani suggests talking aloud as you describe a soothing landscape – like a beach – or positive memories of a place you’ve been to. Use vivid details in your descriptions.

3. Talk about triggers.

Help your child better understand the types of situations and stressors that trigger their negative feelings. As Serani notes, “If it’s a test coming up in school, a social event or a dentist appointment, talk about how the days leading up to it can feel stressful.” This helps your child be prepared and have the necessary skills at their disposal. Also, talk about your personal triggers and the healthy ways you cope.

4. Suggest using less severe behaviors.

If the urge to self-harm is still present, Serani suggests “using less severe activities,” such as “holding an ice cube, tearing paper, shredding a sheet, snapping a rubber band, sucking a lemon peel and pounding a pillow.”

5. Suggest engaging in physical activities.

According to Serani, the rush of adrenaline in physical activities, such as running, dancing and playing chase with their pet, actually produces the same chemical surge that self-injury does.

6. Be compassionate about setbacks.

Stopping self-harming behavior isn’t easy, and it’ll take time. Your child may have setbacks. The best approach if a setback occurs is to offer nonjudgmental support. “Research shows that shame, criticism, or overreaction when parents see a wound causes children to withdraw back into self-harming behaviors,” Serani writes.

Again, if you think your child is self-harming, make an appointment with a therapist for a professional assessment, and support them in practicing healthy coping strategies.

Overcoming self-harm isn’t easy, but, with effective intervention, your child can stop these behaviors and get better. The key is to get help.

allaboutmanners.wordpress.com

I rubbed my eyes As I jumped out of bed. ”Brush your teeth,” My mother said. I opened my curtains wide, I could not believe my eyes. I saw a very large frog Absolutely full of spots Floating. Or wait! Could it be a dog? Is it barking? Or is it croaking? Then […]

Reading should be a shared experience between parent and child in order to ensure a love of books from an early age. Ensure your child sees you reading regularly whether it’s a book, a newspaper or a magazine as it will instil a love of reading for pleasure. Let your child help you choose the […]

Look right, Look left and right again Before you start to cross the highway For if a driver fails to stop “Ouch” is the last word you may ever say Zebra crossings were not made for animals But to ensure we can cross in safety But if a driver fails to obey the […]

My daddy looks tough as nails And hard as metal. But the truth is easy to tell He’s sweet and loving And can always understand me Patient he is And he always makes a big difference in my everyday life. Always managing to put a smile on my face. Even when his days aren’t so […]

This fun and entertaining book will engage children for hours, whilst the characters support children in developing their manners. Age range 4-10 Available from http://www.amazon.co.uk Price £6.95Filed under: New books we have published Tagged: always wash your hands, elbows, fruit and veg, Gillian Sims, say thank you, Waterstones.com

Whilst the lilies blaze In the summer rays The butterflies dance In their summer romance The robin awaits The fresh worms to escape From the ground They tease,until they are found Where gardeners sow Fresh veg to grow Potatoes,leeks and marrow The scarecrow stands so proud Thankful for the sunshine now He watches with an […]

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, […]

I know this man Who is dear to my heart Suddenly one day It was torn all apart This man taught me everything That I needed to know But I never really listened Until he had to go He gave me love And touched my life It’s all over now He no longer has to […]

1. Parents just don’t understand that not all teens like Justin Bieber and One Direction. Parents, sure a ton of teens are Beliebers and Directioners (just look at how many followers they have on Twitter!), but I can assure you, there are plenty of us who aren’t exactly happy about the fact that if Biebs […]

Traveling to another country is exciting, adventuresome, and sometimes rude – if you are not familiar with the culture, that is. To help travelers prepare for overseas trips, Nikko Hotels Internation […]