Sarah Burton Still Can’t Talk About Kate Middleton’s Wedding Dress

Maybe it’s because I’m reading “The Hunger Games” (DON’T JUDGE ME), but there are two news stories out today that really have me wondering about the PR death grip that the Palace exerts over anyone that has anything to do with the royal family.

First, there’s this interview in Interview magazine with Sarah Burton, who designed Kate Middleton’s wedding dress. Let’s all recall, shall we, that Middleton’s wedding happened almost a year ago, and also, that we’ve all seen the dress by now. The secret is out. The cat has exited the bag. And yet, when asked by interviewed Sarah Jessica Parker (fun fashion twist!) what it was like to design the gown, Burton replies:

Um, I mean . . . I’m not actually allowed to talk much about it at all. It was a precious, magical time that I’ll always treasure, and I feel like she gave me a gift in many ways. I feel incredibly privileged.

That’s some Big Brother shit right there, folks. What could she possibly have to say about the dress that would get anybody in trouble? Was the lace made from the hides of endangered species? Did elementary school children stitch it together? And what kind of penalty will she incur if she does talk about it (other than pissing off the Palace and not being able to design for them again, which I guess would suck)?

So, that happened, and it’s a little weird. But then, also, peep this video of Pippa Middleton being interviewed after completing a 56-mile skiing race in Sweden. I would say that maybe Pippa hates being interviewed, but the Duchess’ doesn’t strike me as the kind of girl to dodge publicity. Instead, it looks like she’s operating under strict instructions not to talk to the media, and like if she does, she’ll get her tongue cut off (that’s a Hunger Games reference. Sorry.).

Anyway, I think it would reflect better on the royal family if they stopped operating like this was the 1800s and they were constantly under siege by neighboring kingdoms or at risk of being overthrown by villagers. It’s fucking 2012. Their role is almost completely ceremonial. Maybe it’s time to loosen up a little.

I’m going to need to see a Royal Family Twitter feed, or I’m going to be forced to start a fake one.

Amy

Pippa Middleton isn’t a Duchess.

And to be honest, I don’t see the problem here. I don’t think anything sinister probably happened in the making of the dress, it’s probably more that the Palace don’t want things like Kate’s exact measurements or her knicker preferences revealed to the Press. Not that I think Sarah Burton would reveal things like that, but the Palace might as well cover their backs and just ask her not to talk about it at all.

As for Pippa, I’d guess she just doesn’t want to talk about her sister to the Press, or talk about herself either. It might be standard for most celebrities’ family to sell them out to the Press or for minor celebrities to bang on about themselves, but some still have standards, I guess.

Less “we’ll cut your tongue out if you divulge our secrets” and more “we want to respect Kate’s privacy by asking you to keep your mouth shut”. The Press have already had a hand in the death of William’s mother, I doubt the Palace want the same to happen to his wife.