Why We Eloped (and Do Not Regret it)

I married my husband Clifford only short of a month ago. We had been dating for over a year and life pulled us to get married and elope. That was not our plan, by the way.

We were engaged at the 10 month mark, and were going to get married this November. However, life happened. When Clifford was gone on trips, I lost my position at our job (we worked at the same company). The company terminated the whole department I was in and 3 people lost their jobs. I was given a three month severance package. Those three months basically covered my rent until my lease would end. (I am very grateful!)

I had a choice, move in with family members or with Clifford. We’ll the only options to move in with family quickly became dashed due to conflict and disrespect toward myself and Clifford. At that point I felt like the Lord was trying to push Clifford to marry me in all honesty. We had been struggling with sexual sin and neither of us had the will power or support to get us out of it. ( I know there will be people judging based on my word choice. Everyone has a choice to sin or not obviously but situations, people and circumstances affect those choices and I am not sharing every specific detail.)

Anyway, at one point we even considered eloping just so we would live in “sin” anymore. It was tearing us both emotionally. Now, here I was- lost my job. I believe that energized Clifford to want to come through for me. He knew the situation with my family would not be good for our relationship due to manipulation attempts on me when Clifford was not around. Well, I told Clifford I would not live with him unless I was his wife. He agreed with me and we shared our elopement with a small intimate group.

We were definitely talked about- whether our choice was right or not. Personally that really hurt me. I have had to come to a place where I let the opinions and judgements of people go. People will look on outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. (I don’t think the scripture just applied to physical appearance.)

In this specific situation, God knew I was crying out to him. You see, I grew up with the Church swallowing a prescribed pill of how things were to work and if you do X and Y you will get Z, especially when it came to dating, engagement, and marriage. Well, nothing about my relationship with Clifford went how I was taught. There was no do X find Y to get Z. There was no formula.

And guess what? God was still evidently in it. (Even with the bad choices we made sexually. Shocker)

I believe God saved us both from a lot of hurt and disappointment. I firmly believe to this day, that he used my job loss to pull us together in marriage. We made this choice to honor God and he has blessed our relationship. I believe he will continue to do so. Clifford and I will never regret this choice and are benefiting from it.

As we told more people that we were married, we realized later on that we have more people supporting and loving us than disagreeing. People were happy for us both. It was so encouraging.

I thank God for my husband. For the life that he has given me. Once I was working hard to support myself and now he has given me such a hard working man that I am able to stay at home. I spent many years of my teenage and young adult life trying to survive from abuse and manipulation. Now, God provided me rest and a home that I can call my own with a man who is truly my best friend. I am amazed by God.

My next adventure is discovering God’s will for me within marriage. ( Posts are sure to come)