Jewish Princess Melissa is my name and being a Spoiled J.A.P is my game. I am a hot young 100% Authentic Jewish American Princess, I'm a bitchy, spoiled, gold digging Jewish female; Raised in a wealthy household with a Dominant Diva in Manhattan, Then moved to California only to become a Valley girl J.A.P. I'm selfish, high-maintenance to the point of sheer insanity, stuck-up, deemed the most desirable by all the boys! I may seem to be superficial but I'm actually quite intelligent and very educated. Did I mention Super cool. Don't ask me if I have a job..... I'm a full time J.A.P. My job is to take your money and leave you high and dry.

What makes me the brattiest Jewish Princess of all time?

Let's check out the statistics. Teachers lost their jobs just *trying* to date me. My rich-ass pop's friends blew million-dollar contracts on their knees in my rec room, pleading for my attention. Why? Because I'm the girl you can't say no to--and the girl who says nothing but NO to you. Maybe I remind your of cold, controlling bitch-- or the rich girl in college who snickered at your attempts to "hang out some time." Whatever, like I give a fuck: bottom line is, without a Benz, an Amex Black Card, and some serious real estate, you can lick the stinky cheesy toe jam out of my princess feet--as if I would even let you. Kneel down to kiss my fine, firm, bouncy, gravity-defiant ass and guess what happens: you're gonna see your reflection in it--the picture of a needy, trembly, helpless, broke, ugly, stupid, hundred-proof loser ASS...that is to say: You.