I was wondering if anyone else is going on the selection weekend on 14-15 January? Haven't been told much about what to expect for this one so if anyone can offer any information it would be appreciated.

I was at the presentation evening and was suitably impressed with the unit, but circumstances are not quite right for me to join yet. From a friend who was in 3 MI, the selection weekend consists of your usual basic fitness tests (1.5 mile run, press-ups, sit-ups), a series of command tasks (of the how much fun you can have with a plank, barrel and rope variety), and a set of tasks that are more specific to intelligence work (and which probably involve debrifing scenarios).

This may have changed so I would recommend phoning up one of the recruiting staff and asking them what you can expect and how best to prepare. Basically they will be looking for good team members who can analyse and plan but also make quick decisions. Try to take a proactive role in the tasks and look after your other team mates. Ideally try to get your 1.5 mile time down below 10 minutes (the maximum quoted is 13:40, but that is almost walking speed).

I understand you'll be required to sit on a bench in a mock up park at 3 MI's HQ and watch a 'Meeting' between two guys, one wearing a suit and bowler hat and one wearing a brown mac with dark sunglasses, they will be feeding the ducks. You will have to watch them through a hole cut out of your newspaper, which unfortunately due to the Army's financial crisis you will need to supply yourself. I recommend the Telegraph. You will also be provided with a pair of glasses which contain a micro camera, blink to take pictures.

Later you will need to demonstrate your ability to talk into your lapel in public without looking shifty.

You may be asked to look at some pictures of men with beards and swarthy appearances and try and guess which is the Terrorist. This is a trick-exercise, because everyone knows that anyone with a beard and swarthy appearance is a Terrorist.

Good luck, our paths will cross, just listen out for the phrase "the November winds blow a chill through the hearts of our comrades on the Steppe"...

possibly going on the selection weekend in january, had the interview and presentation very impressed. get treated like real people for a change instead of my current unit. i heard there was bit of phys command tasks, aptitude tests then a "social function" ie piss up

I understand you'll be required to sit on a bench in a mock up park at 3 MI's HQ and watch a 'Meeting' between two guys, one wearing a suit and bowler hat and one wearing a brown mac with dark sunglasses, they will be feeding the ducks. You will have to watch them through a hole cut out of your newspaper, which unfortunately due to the Army's financial crisis you will need to supply yourself. I recommend the Telegraph. You will also be provided with a pair of glasses which contain a micro camera, blink to take pictures.

Later you will need to demonstrate your ability to talk into your lapel in public without looking shifty.

You may be asked to look at some pictures of men with beards and swarthy appearances and try and guess which is the Terrorist. This is a trick-exercise, because everyone knows that anyone with a beard and swarthy appearance is a Terrorist.

Good luck, our paths will cross, just listen out for the phrase "the November winds blow a chill through the hearts of our comrades on the Steppe"...

I understand you'll be required to sit on a bench in a mock up park at 3 MI's HQ and watch a 'Meeting' between two guys, one wearing a suit and bowler hat and one wearing a brown mac with dark sunglasses, they will be feeding the ducks. You will have to watch them through a hole cut out of your newspaper, which unfortunately due to the Army's financial crisis you will need to supply yourself. I recommend the Telegraph. You will also be provided with a pair of glasses which contain a micro camera, blink to take pictures.

Later you will need to demonstrate your ability to talk into your lapel in public without looking shifty.

You may be asked to look at some pictures of men with beards and swarthy appearances and try and guess which is the Terrorist. This is a trick-exercise, because everyone knows that anyone with a beard and swarthy appearance is a Terrorist.

Good luck, our paths will cross, just listen out for the phrase "the November winds blow a chill through the hearts of our comrades on the Steppe"...

My advice - having been on both sides of selection weekends - is as follows:

1. Be yourself.
2. Listen to the brief then do what you are told.

Sounds simple but you'd be surprised how many can't manage either.

The fitter you are the easier it is to cope with it all. That said, you won't be failed on fitness but you can't proceed until you've dodged the pies sufficiently to come up to standard.

It's not meant as some complex psychological exercise full of trips and traps, it's designed to get a good look at you. If you've never done anything military before we won't expect you to act like a veteran, and if you have been in we'll expect to notice that from your behaviour. In some respects planning too hard for it can work against you, as you'll come over as trying to game the system. Best preparation is running, reading the papers and getting in a positive state of mind rather then trying to find out what you'll be doing at 14:00 on Saturday.

And if you want to join because you fancy abseiling from a helicopter wearing black coveralls and putting your underwater ninja knife fighting skills to good use - don't bother turning up. It saves us all some time.

Finally, if we decide you're not suited for us and recommend another unit don't go off in a strop, ring that unit up and go along. We're not just being polite.

I found the whole selection thing an utter waste of time staffed by the very worst the Corps could put to use for those weekends. I assume anyone with any decent skills was out doing something far more interesting than beasting me - lot's of PARA's were trying out at this time so we got them for PT and admin stuff. The three subsequent weekends were not much better either. On the initial weekend - I did a general knowledge quiz in which I was asked who was Formula One world champion etc. Useful stuff that and I had to figure out how to make a bridge out of planks and buckets while being photographed by some old boy from the Corps. We then had to keep facing away from SAS(R) delegates while they pushed Land Rover's up a hill at Pirbright - we were repeatedly told not to look at them as it would comprimise security..!! Every morning - some L/CPL would come into our hut and throw our belongings all over the hut - he carried on doing this until a lad from the RMP belted him outside the phone box behind the huts. I was also shown how to brush my teeth and clean my balls so I did not get an infection. The social thing is to see if you get pissed and act like an arse - there's usually someone senior around and they are making notes about your interactions. Don't act like a twat and you'll be fine.

I was also involved as a newby in the famous f&&ked up Gurkha 100k walk of 1999. If you get asked to do this - tell them you are mowing the grass or something - tell them anything. Anyone who did it will know all about the numpty dick PARA rupert hoping to tranfer in who sacked it after 30k's because he had jungle boots on and his feet were bleeding through the eyelets. This same dick was then put in charge of scoff for the participants from Int & Sy Gp (V) but rather than feed us and meet us at checkpoints - he spent most of the remaining 16 hours attached to a Scottish female rupert in back of the minibus - despicable dick - I'm not saying anything else about that though as just thinking about him makes me want to vomit. The point I'm making here was that this was endemic of the crap trying to join at that time and the support on offer.

Don't forget your caring and sharing qualities either - you'll be spending lots of time hugging female delegates who burst into tears at the first sign of anything remotely physical/demanding/scary. The 2X 1.5 milers first thing on Sat morning are great for watching the girls get upset - the stretcher races are better though. You'll also have to listen to all the numpties who tell you this is the first step towards them joining the SAS or like that gimp who travelled on the same train as me from Brum and slept in the next bed to me on weekends used to say - 'I'M ON MY WAY TO A SABRE SQDN MATE - I'M BEING FAST TRACKED'. I met many like this during my time.

I've seen this from both sides - I've worked in my civ role with the Reg Int Corps - all very good guys/girls with excellent interpersonal skills and analytical skills - made to feel like a member of their team both home and away. I saw nothing - on reflection - from my time with Handel St et al alumni that would make me consider that they could even get near the regs. Int & Sy (V) as it was seemed to attract some very strange types who were convinced they were going to be living in a bin outside of Bin Ladins house and using their obscure degree's to go to TA Sandhurst. WHATEVER....! A plus point though was that it pushed me in the direction I wanted to go career wise - so I'm very grateful for that.

Switch on - listen to what you are told and don't try to think outside of the box - there's time for that later and they will just think you are a clever dick - you do not want to draw attention to yourself. I suspect they are looking at people now with operations in mind - so bear that in mind too and be the grey man. Don't turn up and tell everyone you want to be an officer either - they'll let you know if you are what they want. I never met anyone who was.

The thing I remember most was summer 1999 - it really sticks in my mind - I was tasked to work as a clerk for a week at Quicksands to assit on a course running at DISC. I was asked to move a table along with my colleague to a van we parked at the front. I recall a Corps visit from students in their last year at university and were thinking of joining who commented upon what I was doing. One of them said quite loudly 'We won't be doing that - we've got degree's and we've been in the TA'.

How I laughed and laughed and laughed at this chinless dick - I thought how I'd just graduated that summer too AND I was in the TA (Dripping with Sarcasm) and here I was moving a table.

F**king place was full of idiots like this on visits who thought they were joining Box and not the Army.

I'd forget it mate and join something else. I did it - served for a bit and moved on - I never regretted joining but I'm happy to have moved on to other things.

What is wrong with wanting to be an Officer anyway? It's not like it makes you superior to anyone else, infact you end up being everyone's bitch in a way, all in all it's just another job. If the topic comes up it's not something you should try and hide as for them telling you if you're what they want, well you need to show some initiative too and ask them if you are what they want. Obviously don't shout off about it all the time like a mong, nor try and lord it over everyone else - would be like saying "I want to be a driver/siggieoperator! I'm better than you!" at random intervals.

What is wrong with wanting to be an Officer anyway? It's not like it makes you superior to anyone else, infact you end up being everyone's bitch in a way, all in all it's just another job. If the topic comes up it's not something you should try and hide as for them telling you if you're what they want, well you need to show some initiative too and ask them if you are what they want. Obviously don't shout off about it all the time like a mong, nor try and lord it over everyone else - would be like saying "I want to be a driver/siggieoperator! I'm better than you!" at random intervals.

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Oh dear - where do I begin then?

Do you speak Navaho? Do you have an obscure and irrelevent degree? Do you have no interpersonal skills? If the answer is yes - then go ahead and ask to be an officer.

Int is an interesting trade thing in the other two branches of the reserve forces - have you considered Naval Int through the RNR - super interesting stuff with a real international flavour - I wish I had pursued this myself.

My advice - having been on both sides of selection weekends - is as follows:

1. Be yourself.
2. Listen to the brief then do what you are told.

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OOTS, do you remember that bizarre gang-show type skit we had to do on our selection weekend? WTF did that have to do with the price of fish? Do they still do it?

Spacker's amusing rant does unfortunately remind me of the soggy end of the Int & Sy Gp (V) in the early 90's. I'm sure it's got better. Well, I fcuking well hope it has. Some of the clearly-bullied-as-children Trg Coy staff were on a power trip that would give any half-decent psychiatrist an aneurism.

My advice - having been on both sides of selection weekends - is as follows:

1. Be yourself.
2. Listen to the brief then do what you are told.

Click to expand...

OOTS, do you remember that bizarre gang-show type skit we had to do on our selection weekend? WTF did that have to do with the price of fish? Do they still do it?

Spacker's amusing rant does unfortunately remind me of the soggy end of the Int & Sy Gp (V) in the early 90's. I'm sure it's got better. Well, I fcuking well hope it has. Some of the clearly-bullied-as-children Trg Coy staff were on a power trip that would give any half-decent psychiatrist an aneurism.

V!

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Dear God yes. How could I forget the mong ex-para with zero trade skills who beat his girlfriend up then left to become a fireman. The walt who carried a picture of some SS officer with him and always put it out on his bedspace. The saddo seniors with zero trade skills who tried to cop off with the recruits as they were all hard and army - if they succeeded they got blown out as soon as the girls got a look at the real army. The tubby Doris who sweated enroute to the pie shop but shouted at recruits who flagged after tabbing around all day. The bloke who managed to work a "meet" in a pub into every exercise regardless of the aim. Some were good though, don't think it was universal.

The purge that removed was some of the best entertainment I've ever seen. Personally I think it was the dramatic increase of regular contacts with the regs as mobilisations started for the Balkans (started 1993 or 94 ?) that raised everyone's game to the extent that they were revealed them as numpties to the hierarchy - the rest of us had already spotted it. And, following a run of bloody awful TA RSMs, the shift to a reg in the slot.

And skits serve two purposes for the DS - firstly they help reveal what people are really like, secondly they're a laugh. Walt spotting and removal is sadly a high priority so anything in this area helps.