You may have always thought that your life would stay the same. You’d live in one place, have one job, one relationship and one family. Or maybe that was just your dream…or the way society raises you to be…or maybe that’s the way your life was growing up. Where everything always stayed the same. While we don’t always see it while we’re in it, things should always be changing. You need to change in order to grow.

There will be times in life where it will seem easy to stay in one place because it is comfortable to do so. Your mind goes back and forth about staying or leaving. The truth is that in order to start over whether that’s with a job, relationship, place to live, etc. we must acknowledge the need to start over instead of ignoring our feelings around our thoughts. You can’t force change and you will probably never be ready for it, but you can accept it.

You can accept at any point in life that you can start over. You can become a new person. You must do the work it takes to accept that this is your life now. You don’t have to be the person you were as a child; the person people believe you to be when they say the negative things about you because you know differently. Only YOU know yourself enough to know what’s true about you and what isn’t, so don’t sit around collecting everyone’s negative thoughts, believing what they say is true. Just take their thoughts as opinions and don’t internalize them. The moment we believe what everyone thinks about us to be true, could make us become overly emotional. This means we’re not living within our true selves because we’re living in someone else’s thoughts by repeating their negative words to ourselves. It is more than okay to let go of the people in your life who do not serve you anymore. When you become a different person your needs and wants change. If whatever that “thing” is in your life that you need to let go of in order to start over is holding you back, give yourself permission to let it go so that you can start over. Even if this is not a person, but your own negative self-talk, let it go.

It is never a bad thing to start over at any age or any point in your life. It is OKAY, wonderful in fact, to start over. You get the chance to become a new person every single day when wake up in the morning. Let that be enough to help you continue to grow and to change every day.

So, to the woman who had to start over, please remember, starting over is a kind of freedom you never knew you needed until you had to do it for yourself. ❤

Do you ever have those days/weeks/years where everything that could go wrong does? You lose your job, your car breaks down, you slept in late, you get sick, your relationship fell apart. Any time that you have a setback, you still need to say yes to yourself. That project you’ve been meaning to work on, hobby you’ve been wanting to start or anything you’ve been putting off, those are the things you need to listen to yourself about while your setbacks are in full swing. The reason being that the things you’ve been wanting to do, you’ve been manifesting and those are the things you need to say yes to. They will drive you out of the negativity while the setbacks are happening.

When you say yes to yourself, you are giving yourself the opportunity to learn, grow and give yourself a small amount of happiness. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have a clue as to what you’re doing, you learn and grow from the start, but the key is to just start! When you say yes, just one time, you’ll learn to say it more. So much more in fact, that you’ll eventually find and meet people who’ll believe in your mission and you. You’ll learn from these people and become best friends with them. They’ll help you and you’ll help them, because we all need people to grow with.

The true importance of saying yes to yourself is simply, knowing that you can say yes. Don’t let people tell you that you can’t or that you aren’t good enough or not smart enough. The longer you say no, the more disappointed you’ll be in yourself until you say yes.
So, what will you say YES to for yourself today?

Happy Monday!

P.S. This post was inspired from purchasing a ticket to Pays To Be Brave, in California this fall. If any of you are going, please let me know in the comments or on social media, at @stylestomakeyousmile on Facebook or Instagram.

Because of social media, we all have preconceived notions of what everyone’s lives look like. The reality is that no one will ever know what your life is like because no one can hear your thoughts. It doesn’t matter if you spend every single day with someone beside you, live with someone or see each other for eight hours a day. The thoughts, feelings, experiences and emotions a person can have won’t always be shared with everyone they know, let alone the internet. So then why do we think we know a person’s life so well? We have no idea how much that person struggled to get to where they are now. Things don’t just come to people out of the blue. Most people work for what they have. And while you may only see their success, they may always remember the failures, the times they were told No, the criticism and that may be the driving force to their success.

So, my suggestion to anyone who believes they truly know what someone’s life is like based on social media, is to just talk to them. Ask them how they got to where they are, why they are so happy all the time, how they became successful, etc. Everyone goes through so much in life and we all have a story to tell about why we are the way we are. Sharing and listening to life stories will change your perception and earn more respect towards people. Learning how to talk to people is better than always being envious over someone’s life. It may even help you understand something in your own life a little clearer.

Once you’ve talked to them you can take the lessons you’ve learned and change your mindset around where your life could go. If for some reason you can’t talk to them, learn from them by what they do show you online. If it’s always happy pictures, quotes, funny videos or their hobbies then take what they’re looking at and sharing daily and do the same for yourself to see how your mindset changes.

The biggest life lesson from anyone is one that changes your mindset to thinking more positively about life. Instead of thinking we know about everyone’s life online, try to take a cue from what they’re sharing and learn to bring positivity into your own life every day.

I know you’ve been there for a long time. Wanting to believe in yourself even when other people didn’t. I know you’ve followed others for many years believing you had to be someone you aren’t because that’s who they told you you had to be in order to be successful and fit in. If you didn’t dress like them you were made fun of, you were told you lacked confidence in yourself, you were told you weren’t good enough. Yet, deep inside yourself and from the recognition of the right people you knew you were confident.

I know you smile and are happy to the world because that’s what you know how to do. And I know people make fun of you for always having a “goody-goody” personality and a “goody two shoes” attitude. Maybe it’s because you’ve always wanted to see the good in people when people weren’t very nice to you. Yet, I know the things people say about you, have hurt you. You just chose not to let those people see it.

So, in order to be free from those words you’ve heard for many years I want you to know that YOU are a confident woman. You don’t have to listen to those people who tell you differently. YOU are good enough. In fact, every single day you are better than before because you are a person YOU love. You stick to your morals and values no matter what other’s say. You consistently make yourself better, put yourself out there, do things alone because you know it is okay to treat yourself to a date. What keeps you going from other’s negativity is that they have NO idea what you’ve been through. They have no right to determine what your confidence level is because they aren’t you. Sure, you can always listen to critiques and better yourself but remember your past is your own and no one else has come as far as you have to be the confident woman you are.

Keep smiling, laughing and having a “goody-goody” attitude. Why? Because life is short. It is better to see the world you live in in a positive light for this short time. It is better to laugh off the lies people tell you than to believe them. Spend more time laughing than crying. It is better to listen to the positive things you say to yourself than the negative things people say to you. Choose to be around confident people who light you up, motivate you, believe in you and give to you.

Remember that today, you are lucky to be alive on this planet. It does not matter what anyone says about you. It matters that you believe in yourself and you see this world in positive ways. So, to the people who’ll try to hurt you next, (because there will always be someone who will try to) remember to tell yourself: YOU ARE A CONFIDENT WOMAN WHO CAN DO ANYTHING YOU PUT YOUR MIND TO AND YOU ARE NOT GOING TO ALLOW THEIR NEGATIVE WORDS TO CHANGE WHO YOU ARE BECAUSE WHO YOU ARE IS A CONFIDENT WOMAN.

❤ Always, Amy Beth

P.S. If I’ve learned anything from all the lies I’ve heard about myself, it’s this: It is okay to be sad that people think of you a certain way, but it does not mean it is true. It’s not good for you to stay in sadness. You can better yourself, be happy and choose what to believe. Only YOU control your mind, so tell yourself you are a confident woman who can do anything and keep going. ❤

When I think of the word HARD, I think of something I can’t do. But when I think of the word Challenging, I think of something that I can do. Anything that is hard is good for you if you choose to see it that way. Whether it is something at work that’s hard, a workout class or learning something new.

A year ago, I had taken Pure Barre’s Reform class and deemed it too hard for me because of the moves that I thought I couldn’t do. So, I gave up because my mind set was that it was too hard. Then, the other night at class, I talked to a friend at barre who told me she liked Reform because it was challenging even for her (we both go to barre all week). That’s when I realized that if she and women twice my age can go to this class, then I can too. If it’s not too hard for them, it’s not for me either. So, this weekend I took my second Reform class and I realized it’s still just as difficult as it was a year ago. I still have trouble using a slider to pull my feet to my arms while in a plank position.

Looking at back my decision to not take this class anymore, I’d realized I was wrong to think this because all my barre classes are challenging. When I first started barre I could not hold a plank for 30 seconds or do pushups, I thought it was hard, but I kept going to class anyway because I enjoyed the challenge. I also enjoy seeing all that hard work change my body for the better. I must push myself in class every time to do my personal best. Even though I was the only one struggling while using the slider during that portion of Reform Saturday morning, maybe someone else was struggling in an area of class that I deemed less challenging. But here’s the mantra my teachers use in class and they are words to live by: WHAT DOESN’T CHALLENGE YOU WON’T CHANGE YOU.

So, today on this Monday morning, I am challenging you to do things outside of your comfort zone that you deem hard. Take the word hard out of your vocabulary and replace it with challenging because when something is hard, you’ll likely give up but when it’s challenging you will push through it. Push through everything that’s hard in life because you will come out stronger mentally and physically for it every time.

Today marks my one-year blog anniversary! Thank you so much to everyone whose read/commented/followed my blog! I’ve also loved receiving all your feedback around the motivation I post on social media – @stylestomakeyousmile Whether it’s a post about a barre class, what I ate for dinner or a quote, I always love hearing from you guys and finding out what helps motivate you throughout your life by providing inspiration.

Motivational Monday – This concept came from an idea I had of learning and sharing a lesson with you all each week. There is something to be learned every day, and I took the most important lessons I could think of to share with you all.

Love Always, Amy Beth – This is a new concept I’ll be sharing once a month -they are love letters to you, my readers ❤ I began writing them a few years ago in order to help me get through a difficult time in my life, I thought, what would the strongest version of me say to myself to help me get through this? So, I began writing in a small notebook and decided to write 12 of them, publishing once a month and I hope you love them as much as I do ❤

When I first started the blog, I wanted to be a lifestyle blogger, and I wrote articles on motivation, fashion, food and blogging. The more I wrote, the more I realized what I enjoyed the most was motivational posts. They came naturally to me and it is where I plan to stay with my blog and social media.

While it’s been somewhat of a difficult year in my personal life, I’ve found that blogging was always a way to stay positive and do what I enjoy, and I hope you all can find your passions in life. I find that on social media we all see the beautiful finished pieces of content people have worked on, whether it’s a musician’s music, a book, a popular Instagram account with tons of followers, sometimes we all forget how much work goes into gaining the popularity and the amount of work people do every day to get to a finished product. I’ve learned blogging is not just about creating content, it’s about making connection with others online and meeting them in person. I’ve been lucky to be able to meet some beautiful bloggers who are truly talented and wonderful people and are SO supportive of what I do, and I’m very thankful for them ❤ The other huge lesson I’ve learned is to be yourself online! You don’t have to create the same type of content as someone else just because you see that it’s working for them. You just need to find what makes you happy and share that with the world. Whatever that is is what you will excel at because it’s something that interests you and is what you are knowledgeable in. Nobody is you, has the same mindset as you or can create the same content as you!

I’ve learned that some of the content I’ve put online will take off right away and others won’t. You must put a lot of thought into planning your content and know what you truly want to say. There have been weeks where I won’t put out any content on my blog because I haven’t thought of a good idea or my personal life is too hectic, and I need a break. I’ve realized I’ll always come back to blogging because it is my happy place, just like going to barre makes me happy. The two are similar in that they push me to strengthen my mind by telling myself I CAN do something – hold a plank for 90 seconds or write a new blog post. Do I always FEEL like working out or blogging? No. Somedays I’d rather be lazy and lay on the sofa all day and binge Netflix…and sometimes I need those days or weekends. But I also know I’ll eventually find the motivation to get back on my feet because I’m passionate about what I do.

So, with all that being said, I want to THANK YOU for reading my blog, liking my pictures on social media, following me and engaging with my content. You all have no idea how happy it makes me! I started writing in my notebooks a few years ago and had the idea to create a blog but never went through with it because I wasn’t in the right frame of mind, but I’m so happy I finally started this blog. I’m so grateful to you all for following me on my journey and I can’t wait to share more lessons I’ve learned in the future.

It is SO important to say thank you, to compliment others and to tell them what a great job they are doing daily. Especially, for anyone who is struggling with a difficult situation or going through the motions of their day. It is such a nice gesture to show up on a text message, email, phone call or by mail to make a compliment or say thank you. By doing this, you may have just made someone’s day. You may have made them realize that their hard work is paying off. Even more so, you have may made them feel like whatever you complimented them on means they should continue to do the work they’re doing. If you receive a compliment about your work or yourself, hold onto it. Think about it during a negative situation or share it with someone else. The more you remind yourself of what someone else said, the happier you’ll be.

When someone compliments you for the hard work you’ve done all month or reaches out to say that they’ve enjoyed your work, or was generous with their time or money, always say thank you to them. Saying thank you means just as much to someone as a compliment and it is just as important. Thank you means you’ve acknowledged what they’ve done for you.

I know from personal experience it can be hard to listen to someone’s compliments when you feel stuck. It’s easy to say Thank You and continue to be upset while staying in a negative headspace. However, if someone is taking the time to really say that they are proud of you, will be there for you or just want to make sure you are okay then that is a person you want to hold onto. Knowing they’ve reached out once means you can reach out when you need support.

There will always be difficult experiences in life and there will also be loving people to compliment how well you’re dealing with that experience. When you feel stuck, remember their compliments of what a great job you’re doing while going through hard times and always remember to tell them thank you for thinking of you.

What was something nice someone said to you while going through a difficult time? Or what was a wonderful compliment someone gave you recently?

Change for yourself-You’re the only one living your life, so all of your decisions will be for you. Make decisions that will bring you happiness in long run and trust yourself enough that a change is for the best, because it always is.

You cannot change anyone-Recognizing that everyone will do things on their own time is the key to realizing that you can’t change anyone. People will only change on their own. While you can give them advice, they must do the work to change themselves.

You cannot please everyone-As someone who has been a people pleaser for years, I’ve simply learned this year that I can’t please everyone. There will always be situations that occur where someone will not like your decision and that is OKAY.

Everyone has an opinion-Everyone will try to give you advice on what they think is best for you. The truth is, you’re the only one who knows what’s best for you because you’re the only one who can live your life. Not everything that everyone wants for you is possible, so knowing your boundaries of what can and can’t work for your life is key to recognizing what works and doesn’t work when it comes to someone else’s opinion of you.

Know your priorities-Knowing what you need to focus on for the next year as far as health, finances, personal and work goals are all crucial for a good year. Be realistic with yourself about what did and did not work with each of these and see how you can change each category for next year.

Listen to your body-Mental and physical health are SO important to living a long life. When you can recognize what your body needs such as: certain foods, sleep for eight hours, knowing when you need a break to be alone and recharge and how much exercise to get each week, your body will feel good. Once you can recognize all of this you’ll know when your body feels off.

Find Supportive People-The people in life you can talk to, accept you, challenge you and help you be your best self are worth keeping in life. They’ll believe in you, give you advice, make sure you are okay and listen to you.

Knowing when to end something-It’s always good to know when to end or leave something that is no longer working, whether that’s a relationship, job, home, etc., you’ll get a feeling that will tell you when to let go. Sometimes letting go of something can take years, but it’s all about doing things on your own time.

Know your worth-Always be confident in knowing your worth and value to anything and anyone.

Acceptance-Accepting where you are in life, what you need to change in order to make you happy and make decisions for yourself.

Don’t play the comparison game- You must do the work inside yourself to figure out what is causing you to compare your life to someone else’s. If it’s looking at someone else’s life and believing they have more than you, then reach out to them to see what their life is REALLY like, because I promise, no one’s life is as perfect as it seems. If you are on the receiving end of someone comparing your life to theirs, it is up to you to make peace within yourself of the way people perceive you.

Perspective is Everything-Life does NOT have to be SO HARD. It doesn’t have to be filled with anger, jealousy, hatred, sadness or negativity. Life can be whatever you want it to be. Choose to be happy, positive and believe in yourself. Make the best choices for you. You’re the only one who can live your life. Be nice to yourself, treat other’s well and be happy with your life.

If there is one thing I have learned from this entire year of 2018, it is that people will always do things in their own time. No matter how many people we seek (or not seek) advice from, people will always give their opinions of what you should or should not do with your life. The thing that I have learned is that you will only do things when you are ready to do them. Some decisions may seem simpler than others, however once you process them and can justify your own needs that is when you will make your own decisions.

Once you’ve decided to begin something, it can be easy to look back and wish you’d started earlier. However, you can’t start anything new if you aren’t in the right mind frame.

Sometimes dramatic events need to take place for your life to change and other times, you can get caught up with living a certain way until you are sick of it and decide to change. I think we become so used to making excuses for things even when we have a small interest in doing them, when if we would just start it might end up leading into something we’ve never dreamed of! Or that we might fall in love with doing whatever that thing is. If starting whatever it is that you want to start is seeming difficult, try taking small steps-write out what you want to start, begin for a short period of time to see how you like it and go from there. Whatever it is that’s on your mind that you want to begin, will continually come up until you start it! It’s your brains way of telling you what you NEED to be doing with your life! Whether that is eating healthier, going to bed earlier because you feel exhausted, starting a workout routine, changing jobs, beginning a hobby, whatever that feeling is, here is your permission to start.

I hope that for the New Year of 2019 you will look at things as easy to start because you listened to what you needed. I hope that whatever your desires are or feel your calling is, you can listen to yourself and begin to change. ❤

 I promise to listen to myself. You know those ideas that your mind keeps thinking of? They won’t go away until you listen to them and put into play what they are. The longer you ignore them (day after day, year after year) they’ll sit in the back of your mind. When your mind becomes clear they’ll appear. It is when you take action that those thoughts will be released. Once that happens, you’ll be able to drive upon those ideas and turn them into dreams and plans for yourself.

 I promise to always do what is best for me. Listening to yourself is the most important feeling in the world. It goes beyond what everyone else is doing, what the trends are-diets, clothes to buy, workouts, etc. You must know what makes you and your body feel the best then keep doing that.

 I promise to keep going. Dreaming is one thing but having plans are another. Your dreams can only go so far without a plan to action. Short or long term, all dreams and plans are important because you can’t get to one without the other. And, while everything seems hard in life, you must keep doing the work. If you give up, you end up going back to where you started. So, if you’ve already chosen to give up the life you’ve lived before, why would you want to go back? Remind yourself of this when times get hard and I promise you won’t want to go back.

 I promise to hold onto the people who get me. No matter what you do in life, everyone is going to have an opinion that you should be doing something different (even if you’re already doing what you enjoy). Very few people in this life will get you, so hold onto the one’s who do. The one’s who believe in your work, dreams and passion to fulfill your desires of doing more than you already are. Learn from the people who are in the midst of and accomplishing their dreams-manifest their lessons of the good times, the mistakes and hardships of what it takes. Listen to all their advice. Most importantly, cheer them on because they are the one’s who’ll continue to push you to your best self.

Recognizing that I’m the only person who can control my mood, mind and life.

You don’t need to compare your life to anyone else’s. Why? Because everyone’s life is different. No one can have the same life. Even if theirs is a life you envy right now, it may not always be that way, or it may appear different than it actually is.

Every loved one I’ve ever lost has reminded me that life is so short. Look at their life and replicate the things that made them happy.

Having a support system is the best thing in life-I’ve learned who I can trust that will listen and give advice and then be that person for others when needed.

I’ve learned how to be resourceful when it is necessary. When your entire life turns upside down and you must start from the beginning. It’s made me realize that everything will always be okay.

You know the quote, “Missing someone gets easier every day?” It’s not true. It sucks to miss someone you’ll never see again. I’ve learned to hold onto their memories, laugh about the good times and think about them often. Remembering all the things that you do to make them proud always helps me to do better in life.

People will let you down in life but know that you don’t have to be upset over it forever and can move on.

Realize people can change. Even when they’ve done hurtful things. Everyone can change but it is only on their own time. You can only do so much to help them. Only they can help themselves.

I’m thankful to recognize at 32 that I can live my life how I want and not under the pressure of anyone else. Everyone will have an opinion about my life but I’m the only person who knows what I need when I need it.

Most importantly, I’m thankful for the life I’ve lived because it has taught me that positivity is the only way to get through life. The day will end, and tomorrow is a new day. Spend each day doing things you enjoy, there is always something good in every day. ❤

I was once screamed at for telling someone that I didn’t know something. They yelled, “Stop saying, I don’t know!” Having people in my life who’d yell at me when I didn’t know something made me feel bad about myself. I internalized their words by taking it out on myself and not ask for help.

That all changed when I had someone tell me that they say they don’t know something but can always find the answer. This made me realize that it IS OKAY to admit when you don’t know something. Asking people for help is good. You won’t know how to do everything in life, especially when starting something new, whether it is with work, cooking, working out, etc., you will spend your entire life learning. I’ve realized I’m attracted to people who are smart and the people who’ll tell me when they don’t know something but can find out the answer by asking the right people or researching the answers. I always feel better when I have people, I can rely on to ask questions or talk myself through the answer with someone else. You might even be the person someone reaches out to when they don’t know the answer, so be patient with them and help them learn.

Sometimes people get into a habit of telling others to do things but not explaining how. I’ve realized it is everyone’s job in life to speak up when they do not know something. It does not mean you are not smart, stupid or have no confidence. To be a confident person, you must ask questions. If people put you down for that, that is on them and not you. I’ve learned to ask how to do things then take notes to remember. If you don’t do the same things every day, chances are you won’t always remember them. I can barely remember what I did an hour after I’ve done it, ha.

I hope what you’ll take away from this is to ask questions, be the person someone else can talk to, always say thank you when someone helps you answer your question and remember: saying you don’t know does not mean you are not confident, it means you are being honest. Confidence comes when you let your walls down, admit what you don’t know but that you can always find the answer ❤
Happy Monday, Loves!

There are many types of self-reflections that work for people such as journaling and gratitude lists. One night I realized that I haven’t made the commitment to doing these, so instead I thought I’d do some mental self-reflections of how my day went. Reflecting on the day from start to finish. Being proud of the things I accomplished throughout the day or check off my to-do list. Recognizing what I could have done better to accomplish more or change my mood around certain things in my life.

When self-reflecting at the end of the day, this will help shed light on where your mood shifted throughout the day and when you build upon it to change for tomorrow, you’ll know better how to deal with that situation. Mindset and mood go hand in hand, so if you have a positive mindset your mood will reflect this. Although I will admit that not every day can be the best day ever because things will happen, but I’ll bet at the end of the night you can find one good thing about the day.

I’ve recently realized how much I say yes to others for fear of letting them down. I am set a bar for their expectations and am told not to let them down and not to let someone else rise above me. Because they expect me to do better than them from the results I’ve showed in the past.

So, why do I sometimes let myself down? I find that I am not always setting the bar for myself with personal goals. I let things go unfinished, don’t follow up, leave things hanging for a week or more until I get to it again, I’ll think of ideas but not write them down. This is the complete opposite of how I act with others, but why? Why am I giving myself permission to be one way to others and another way to myself? Why don’t I put myself and my goals on a pedestal the way others do for me? I should. We all should because our dreams and ideas matter. What we do for others matters just as much as what we can and should do for ourselves.

Let yourself be seen the way others see you. The way you should show yourself to them in your best light is how you need to show up for yourself. My cousin gave me great advice to set deadlines for myself once I think of an idea. This makes sense as I always set them to get things done for others. Besides a lot of the time, if I don’t do something for myself the first time around, it will manifest in my mind until I release it.

So, will you begin setting the same expectations for yourself as you do for others? I hope so. ❤

When I was young I had the privilege of growing up around people who were older than me. I got to know these people on a personal level and because of this, I saw them for who they really are. However, once I hit adulthood and began working I saw so many people in my life be afraid of their bosses, co-workers, instructors, Corporate bosses and even friends. I saw people break down in front of these people because of their high demands and I also saw people get extremely angry behind their back, claiming they “weren’t afraid of them.”

If you’re afraid of people you won’t be able to ask them for help when you really need it.

Seeing all of this made me realize, whatever happened to just talking to people? You know, being nice to people, having a good conversation about life. Everyone in this life is truly the same. We are all people, we all eat, sleep, get dressed, work and have lives. It made me realize that everyone is just a person, and no one scares me. It doesn’t matter what position they hold at their job because the people you work with are there to collaborate with and learn from. If you’re hanging out with a friend who you’re afraid to give your opinion to or speak up against when you don’t want to do something, then try giving your opinion anyway and see what they say or if that person is toxic to your relationship, it may be best to part ways. Or, if you see someone you admire but are too afraid to say hello. Go up and say hello anyway. Yes, it might be awkward to meet someone new, but I bet they’ll appreciate you for saying hi and you’ll feel good once you talk to them.

The point is, don’t allow yourself to be afraid of people. You don’t have to go off on them by yelling to get your point across, you don’t have to tell everyone to be afraid because of the job title they hold, and you definitely don’t have to hide from them. Learning from others is the best thing in the world. It can make you smarter, open new doors for you and open you up to seeing things in a new light.

In the first half of my career I heard the saying, Fake It Till You Make It, and because of this I HATE this saying. Let’s be honest does anyone REALLY enjoy being fake? No. If you don’t know how to do something, learn, research, ask, do anything BUT pretend you know what you’re doing. If you don’t know how to do something just admit it (I had no idea what I was doing when I started this blog, but I learned and never pretended I knew).

While growing up I was a huge victim of not asking people for help. I never told myself I would “fake it” I was just either too stubborn or embarrassed to ask for help. In my current position I get thrown into a LOT of situations where I have to learn how to do things from the ground up. So now, reframing from my old self I will ask every. single. question that comes to my mind because I realize I need to learn and grow. I’ve sometimes been on the phone with people for hours learning until it makes sense to me. And I can’t thank those people enough for helping me ❤ So I guess you can say I’ve grown out of my stubbornness.

In the world we live in it can be hard to stand out so sometimes people tend to follow what others are doing-they are being fake to themselves because they think what the other people are doing is best and it’s what’s working for them so why not follow them instead of being yourself. DON’T DO THIS. The WORST thing you can do for yourself is to NOT be yourself. YOU have a talent that you are supposed to share with the world, so SHARE IT. No one has the gift you do, whether that is teaching, writing, designing, coaching, cooking, etc. No one else is you. People like certain people because they are being themselves-genuine, real and vulnerable.

Having confidence in yourself and being fake are two completely different things. Confident people don’t have to “fake” something instead they’ll ask for help. Eventually being fake will grow old. If you’re following what everyone else is doing and they all decide to do something you don’t like, will you continue to be like them? Or will you have the courage to stand on your own and be yourself?

I hope if you are reading this message and can recognize that you aren’t being yourself, that you will show people who you are with your own special gift and break free from being fake. No more Fake It Till You Make It. Be Yourself and You’ll Make It. Happy Monday! ❤

Close your eyes Girl.
Take a deep breath.
Dream Big.
Now open your eyes and face your reality.
Make those dreams come true.
Dream BIGGER.

My body awoke at 5:30am. Before I even opened my eyes, I dreamed. I dreamed about what my life could be (and should be). I dreamed about sharing my gift with the entire world. I thought about the life I want for myself. The REAL life I want.

My dream is to make people more confident within themselves. I need to share my thoughts because they are important, and I believe they are worth hearing. I need to share my gift with the world. I want women and young girls to have the confidence in themselves the way I now do. Confidence is getting up every single day and doing the things you love. Confident people are consistently finding ways to better themselves. They are not the people who have all the answers. They are the people who are constantly asking questions, researching and believing in themselves. They seek answers and when they find them they share them with the world. If no one ever shared their gifts this world would be boring-their wouldn’t be concerts to go to, beautiful things to buy, incredible food to eat and no one to learn from. So, what are you waiting for? Go share your gift with the world and don’t ever stop dreaming ❤ Happy Weekend!

Limiting beliefs are the lies we hear and tell ourselves, but it is up to us to not to listen to them. There are limiting beliefs in the world that you can only do so much. Sometimes people will tell you what’s best for you because that’s all they know. However, if you decide to expand your mind, learn new things and trust yourself, you’ll know there are no limits to what you can do. On the other hand, the limits we tell ourselves are true are there because of what we say to ourselves- “I can’t do…insert activity here.” For a long time, I told myself I couldn’t hold a plank for 90 seconds while working out. Why? Because it was hard. I limited myself. Why? Because it was easier than dealing with the pain that comes with working out. Yet, I continued to go to class four times a week, and you know what? I CAN hold a plank. I changed my mindset around the belief that I couldn’t do something to telling myself I can. And I have strong teachers who push me to do my best during class. To be honest, I don’t want to disappoint them much less myself. All of this has helped me realize, you motivate yourself first then you need to be around the people who motivate you.

In the newest thirty second Nike Ad, a women age 81 was told she was crazy for running a marathon. But guess what? She did it anyway. Why? Because she believed in herself even when no one else did. The point is you don’t have to believe everything everyone tells you. Her mantra in life is Why Not and her thoughts to those people who told her she was crazy is, “But that’s the great thing about being old. I can just pretend not to hear them.” I hope at 81 I can still be as active as her and still pretend not to hear any limiting beliefs put on by myself or others.

What you need to do to gain confidence, is push their words out of your mind. Instead of telling yourself what THEY say, tell yourself what YOU say. YOU’RE the only one who knows what you’re capable of. Once you begin to show everyone around you how confident you are and that you can do whatever it is they are saying you can’t or shouldn’t, they’ll change their minds. Put positive words and mantras in your mind and the limiting beliefs you have within yourself will start to fade.

**Remember: Time will always be there, you just have to decide when you’re going to believe in yourself, even at age 81.

What are some limiting beliefs you’ve told yourself or that you’ve heard from others?

Today, I wanted to share my mission for my blog and the community who reads it ❤ Enjoy!

My mission is to provide realistic lifestyle tips to everyone.

Everything from tips on blogging advice, ways to take care of yourself, and most importantly, motivation. Each Monday I share a Motivational Monday post that is a lesson I’ve learned throughout the week, that I believe should be shared with you all, my community. My hope is that these lessons will manifest into a positive mindset.

I want people to recognize that you can have a happy, healthy and positive mindset and lifestyle.

If you’re wondering where this motivational mindset came from, it has grown out of years of negative mindset. I was believing lies people told me about myself (one of them being I have no confidence). Until one day when I decided I needed to change myself and be a better version of me for ME. I then began working out regularly, managing my money, eating foods my body craves, listening to what my body needed every single day-rest, work or a dance party while getting ready for the day, writing daily and surrounding my life with people who motivate me (especially through online communities!).

I hope you find this community I’ve curated a place for you to learn more about yourselves. It will be motivational and supportive as we all walk our own journey of life together by providing a realistic lifestyle.

Remember: You are NOT the lies people tell you. YOU are the person you BECOME.

I believe to be happy you must spend time with yourself to learn what you enjoy and listen to what you want and don’t want anymore.

I know it’s important to take yourself on vacation and treat yourself with good food, shopping and hotel. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.

I believe you should always continue to learn, it’s how you’ll become successful. I also believe in mentors-I’d never be as successful as I am without them.

I know that changing yourself is always best.

I know you learn the most about yourself when you’re alone and try new things.

I believe when given a challenge you must take it and not complain, there’s a reason the person giving you the challenge believes you can do it, it’s because they believe in you.

I know that if you are tired of being the person you used to be that you’ll find a way to change yourself. Unhappiness gets old. And when you tell yourself you don’t want to be sad anymore, you’ll do what you can to change.

I believe you need to do what’s best for you.

I know confidence comes with a combination of standing up for yourself and finding the right people to guide you.

I know spending time with loved one’s is one of the most important things in this world because you don’t know when anyone’s time is done.

I believe that death can give you a push to make you realize your dreams. It reminds you how very little time we all have here.

What are some things you believe and know in life? Please share them with me in the comments below or on social media, at @stylestomakeyousmile

Joining the Sisterhood of Style Collective has been one of the best decisions I’ve made since starting my blog. Read more HERE on why I joined Style Collective. As soon as I found out Annie, the owner of SC was holding a conference during New York Fashion Week I knew I had to go!

Style Collective has the best community! Right away after joining I met bloggers who I follow, support and talk to weekly. This attributed to wanting to go to the conference because I knew I’d meet more like them and even met a few during conference! It was amazing to be in a room full of women who all have the same likeminded values and goals for their blogs. Meeting the women from SC who I’ve been following on social media was a big deal because these women were exactly who they portray themselves to be online. They were friendly, nice and I got to know them on a personal level.

Being able to hear from speakers who are in the industry is an incredible bonus! Annie had a variety of women speak from influencers, life coaches and an author. These people are here for you to learn from and ask advice. None of the speakers held back on the truth about the blogging industry, they shared the ups and downs. One of the speakers I was dying to meet was Cara Alwill. She’s the author of Like She Owns the Place and has written seven other books, plus has a podcast-Style Your Mind. I’m a huge fan of hers because she’s honest and authentic.

Amanda Berlin

Cara Alwill

I received a shout out during the opening of the conference from Annie which transferred onto her podcast, The Becoming Fearless podcast. This shows just how close Annie and I were before meeting in person. Annie is amazing in the way she connects with everyone in SC because she truly cares about you and your blog/business.

There was a contest during the conference for posting pictures from the day and I won a beautiful blue Mon Amie watch! I love the color, the diamonds and that it’s iridescent. Also, we were provided an amazing swag bag of goodies!! We received everything from jewelry, makeup and skincare products from various vendors.

We received a workbook to write in during the conference. Inside were lined pages to write notes in and a quiz to help you determine the purpose behind your blog. I had written about five pages of notes, jotting down things that I wanted to remember that the speakers said, quotes and important websites to reference.

Throughout the day we were able to get our hair and makeup done by Be Glammed. They also gave everyone a gift certificate to use at their stores.

At the end of the conference, VIP members were to write a letter to themselves that Annie would mail to us. I literally sat in my chair frozen because I was so emotional. I thought to myself, I NEVER WANT TO FORGET THIS MOMENT. This moment of being happy and doing something for myself that was completely out of my comfort zone-planning a trip to NYC and navigating the city, meeting new bloggers (some I’d been following online for a few months and it was surreal to meet them in person, like they actually exist!), meeting Annie and the speakers and overall having a wonderful NEW experience. I learned in that moment that it feels AMAZING to allow yourself to be apart of new experiences. Yes, it can be scary to put yourself out there, but I met incredible women because I went to conference, so you see the outcome outweighs the stress of going. It can be so easy to freak yourself out by telling yourself all the reasons you shouldn’t do something, but if you just do it I guarantee it will be worth it in the end.

Will you be joining the SC Sisterhood ? I hope to see you at the next conference! Follow me online @stylestomakeyousmile & let me know if you’re an SC Sister and I’ll connect with you 😊

This weekend I made a list of the lessons life has taught me at age 31 and I thought I’d share some of them with you all. These lessons I’ve learned have helped me grow into the person I am. I hope they help you grow into the person you want to be no matter what age you are. ❤

Take a break when you need to. Whether it’s from work, school, and your busy schedule or from someone you love. Your body will tell you when you need one-physically or if you’re like me, your mind will be saying, I need a day off to be left alone. When you take that time for yourself, make sure you do things you enjoy to help you recharge.
Your body will change physically. When I was in my late 20’s I found my first gray hair and I now have just a few more 😉 Haha. I’ve always loved to sleep but now I’ve realized getting sleep helps me to function during the day. Having a routine where I go to sleep around the same time each night helps. Certain foods I used to eat I can’t eat anymore because they upset my digestive system, instead find the foods that give you energy.

Write things down as soon as you think of them. This also goes for doing things as soon as you think of them or you may forget until later. Stopping what you’re currently doing to do what you’re thinking of is okay because you’ll remember to go back to what you were doing originally.

It’s okay to do things alone. Just like I learned to go to events alone, see in this post-Learning How to go to Events Alone & Painting Tips Being alone in public is okay. I love going for walks at the park by myself so I can think or not think about anything and just enjoy being outside. I’ve also learned to go to cafes alone so that I can blog.

You’ve probably faced dealing with a friend or family member dying of a disease or sudden death, whether they’ve lived a long life or were a child. Unfortunately, I’ve seen many people I love pass away. The lesson I learned from this is to do what you love before your life is over. The person who passed would be so proud of you for it. Life is too short not live how you want, so if you want to be doing something, go out and make it happen however you can. I know that money can hold people back from their dreams but find small ways to start and go from there.

Everyone in your life is struggling with a battle you may not know anything about until or IF they decide to share. And if they share their struggles it may make you realize why they act the way they do. Things always make sense when you know more information about a person but until you do, don’t judge them, just remind yourself that they may be struggling with something and ask if you can help in any way even if it’s just to talk.

Learning to deal with people who don’t like me has taken most of twenties to deal with. It wasn’t until I found the right people who liked me and appreciated me that I realized who matters. Don’t ever hold yourself back from being great just because someone doesn’t like you or tells you aren’t good enough to do something. DO IT ANYWAY.
Listen to advice. I have always loved reading people’s stories in books and listening to them online/TV. Everyone is on a journey and it may be similar to yours. Their advice may make you realize things about yourself that you need to change (even if someone close to you has been telling you the advice for years, sometimes if you hear it from someone else’s perspective it will click with you).

Confidence is something that I’m working on every single day. I’ve learned that it comes with believing the positive advice/things people say about you, finding a great mentor such as a friend/family member/therapist/coworker and most importantly believing in yourself. Confidence is NOT something that can be forced onto someone, so as much as you’re seeing someone else struggling with confidence, you can give them advice but know that they have to make the choice to be confident on their own.

Travel and go to as many events as possible. Getting out of the house is important and it’s FUN to do new things. Seeing how other people live is important and can put things in your life into perspective. You may even make new friends from going to new places simply because you’re interested in the things they are.

Decide what’s important for your life. People may not agree with your choices or understand what makes you happy but that’s okay.

Put your all into the things and people you love. Starting my blog has given me something to look forward to every day, I believe everyone needs this. Everyone needs people who care about them, so find the ones who do and treat them well.

HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE. Just like I’ve talked about in my blog post, Motivational Monday: Live the Life You Want you have to live the life you want to live and not listen to judgement, only positivity. Focus on what makes you happy because life’s too short not to.

What are some things you’ve learned at your current age? Please let me know in the comments! ❤