#1 “Is This Cake Batter?!” *dunks Entire Head In*

#2 Angry Cockatoo Tears Down Anti-Bird Spikes And Throws Them To The Ground

#3 Yoink!

You might be willing to give our flying feathered friends a pass, but there’s plenty of evidence to suggest that birds can be real cretins. Just like some people. Sometimes worse. From aggressive behavior to unquenchable greed, one look at these birds will have you thinking its an apt representation of what human society would look like after the Apocalypse. And if birds are distant descendants of dinosaurs, I’d rather not think of the dastardly pranks that a T-Rex and his pals would pull if they were ever cloned!

#4 The Australian Firehawks

Australian firehawks proactively spread wildfires. Observers report both solo and cooperative attempts, often successful, to spread wildfires intentionally via single-occasion or repeated transport of burning sticks in talons or beaks. After succesfully spreading the fire, the “firehawks” are able to pick out fleeing prey or mung on the charred remains of those critters who didn’t make it out in time.

#5 The Cement Wasn’t Dry Yet..but Who Cares If You’re This Bird…

#6 Classic

It’s not just us who think birds are idiots. Scientists are on our side. Taki’s Magazine writes about the very worst flying egomaniacs who don’t care about anyone but themselves. Take hummingbirds as an example. The males are so greedy, they claim bird feeders, and won’t let anyone else near them. Not even for a taste.

#7 Who’s Laughing Now A**hole?

#8 Sometimes When Billy Is With His Friends He Can Be A Bit Mischievous

#9 Mr. Steal Your Fries

Now, are you ready for something spooky and chilling about crows? I warn you, you’ll never look at them the same again. Crows are, apparently, the living embodiments of gluttony. They eat everything. And I mean everything. From garbage to tiny, beautiful baby birbs. Crows have a special appetite for robins and bluebirds. I did warn you.

#11 I Don’t Think This Bird Can Read

#12 This Area Was Re-Seeded And Roped Off To Keep People From Walking On It To Allow The Grass To Grow

Oh, and if you thought that the majestic bald eagles are exempt from criticism, think again. They’re such jerks that even other birds think they’re jerks. Bald eagles are so inept at hunting, they usually steal other birds’ prey or eat carrion, like vultures. Yuck.

#13 This Goose Is Fery Angry

#14 This Hawk Has Approximately Zero F**ks To Give About The Bees

#15 So.. Did The Bunny Grow Wings And Go To Heaven?

Not to mention some of the biggest meanies around — Canada geese and swans. Canada geese are legendary for their aggression and are known for how often they attack people. Though, according to USA Today, they only do so because people are expanding into their territory and getting too close to their eggs or newborn birbs. The same goes for swans: though they’re graceful and beautiful, they will stop at nothing to defend their kids if anyone gets near them.

If you ever see a hummingbird eyeing your ice-cream or a crow looking at you funny — drop everything and run. Hide. And lock the doors. Otherwise, you might be another victim of jerk birds.