Dumbass Pages

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Breast Cancer Fundraisers Wake Lady Up! She Throws Cat Shit on Them!

And if you are home right now, please feel very charitable and make a substantial gift to your Fearless Leader by using the "Donate" button over there ----->

Thank you.

Dumbass.

Anyway.....

Nobody does Charity like a Dumbass.

For Example

A bunch of strippers out in L A went to bat for a financially strapped group of Little League Baseball players by offering a considerable contribution. It was refused by the Head Dumbass of the Bankrupt L A Little League Council for Stoopididity because it was coming from Young Ladies Who Show Off Their Knockers and make Horny Fat Guys Get Chubbies!
Charity also begins on a street corner.

Now comes word of a woman in Seattle who made a memorable donation to a recent Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Walk.

Problem is that it wasn't a cash contribution, it was a cat contribution. To be more specific, a contribution from a cat.

Here's the deal....a large number of Seattle's Finest Big Hearted Dumbasses were actually doing something besides sitting under an interstate highway bridge smoking dope by participating in this annual breast cancer fund raiser.

It is my personal experience that when a large group of people, particularly Dumbasses, get together for a good cause such as this, much fun, froth and frivolity ensue. In other words, a passel of Dumbasses having a good time tend to get somewhat loud. And by "somewhat loud" I mean a "noise level somewherebetween a live 1970s Led Zepplin concert and a close encounter with a Boeing 787 as it barrels down an airport runway".
It seems that some that some idjits have a problem with the celebratory atmosphere at such occasions.

So instead of reducing the ambient noise by doing something, oh I don't know, closing a fucking window, the Offended Party chooses another method of dealing with the excessive clamor. And by "another method" I naturally mean "throwing bags of cat shit" at passersby. I find this a perfectly acceptable and logical thing to do to this miscreants. After all they have the audacity to gather in a large group, follow a pre-planned and pre-approved parade route in an effort to raise money for one of the most devastating diseases in the world and are making a shit load of happy commotion in doing so! How the fuck dare they!

I mean this Horde of Heathens could be doing something at least worthwhile - like protesting capitalism and looting and burning local bidnesses! What has Humanity come to???!!!!

What's even worse is that Cat Shit Throwing Lady had just completed a long shift at her Can I Supersize That For You? job and the vile caterwauling of the Let's Find a Cure for Breast Cancer Jackbooted Thugs woke her up!
Quick! Somebody call the National Guard on these cretins!

Hey, Cat Shit Throwing Lady! I have a few wishes for you:

I hope you or anyone you love ever has to deal with the devastation that is breast cancer.