What My Teen Daughter Taught Me About Hair Extensions

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My 15 year-old daughter, Grace, has pop star hair. It's long. It's lush. It cascades over her shoulders in a glamorously nonchalant way. It's really something to see, this hair. And oh, how I wish it were hers. But no. Most of it belongs to Christie Brinkley.

You see, Grace has been rocking the supermodel's clip-in hair extensions for months as her naturally thick and curly hair is "under construction." (Her flatiron obsession caused her long hair to break off at an alarming rate. It was a bad time.) Grace's devastation over her (unwanted) new bob got me into supercharged beauty expert mode. I hid all of the irons and handed her a package of Viviscal. I instructed her to use only super-hydrating shampoos and conditioners—Creme of Nature Natural Oil-Infused Hydrating Shampoo ($8.99, harmon.com), followed by Pantene Cleansing Conditioner ($6.99, at drugstores), has been the best combo so far—and only I could blow her out. We've seen some improvement, but still. Her hair was short, barely brushing her collarbones. Her teenage and Latina desire for long hair was overwhelming. She complained. She cursed the hair gods. And she researched and researched. And just as she discovered hair extensions, she spotted the box of Brinkley extensions that I'd brought home for myself.

At first, I was hesitant over this beauty turn of events. Letting her wear a cat eye to school was one thing, but fake hair? Aren't extensions for adults, I wondered, and even then, aren't they something to wear only occasionally? But after seeing how natural they looked, and how much they helped protect both her confidence and her natural hair, I decided that perhaps I should stop being parent-y and get with the program. Besides, they look so good that I'm considering taking them back from her. Here, my daughter's reflections and tips on the subject:

Hair extensions aren't just for celebrities.

"I only recently realized just how dependent celebrities are on their extensions. And they're using them for the same reasons everyone else does! I mean, they're normal people. Some have heat damage. Or their hair doesn't grow very quickly. Now that I'm using them, I can tell you how they make you feel: Complete."

Hair extensions can look natural.

"I noticed on Instagram that people wore extensions at natural lengths. Certain bloggers who I follow, like @mylifeaseva, would tag hair extension companies and hair vitamin brands, and I would check those out. It's important to me that my natural hair blend in with the extensions. I didn't want them to look silly. I wanted them to look as natural as possible. When I first wore them out I knew that my hair looked real, so I was happy. And it was something different! But I was a little self-conscious, too, because you don't know what's going on in the back of your head or what it looks like from other people's point of view. Once you stop worrying about that, though, you can enjoy them. Knowing that people aren't staring you down 24/7 takes the pressure off."

Hair extensions sometimes carry a stigma, but they shouldn't.

"Extensions shouldn't change how people perceive you. The first time my older cousin saw me with extensions, she was surprised, but she later commented that she wanted them too. Celebrities should also have a choice whether or not to reveal to the world what's going on with their hair. Even Beyonce!"

Hair extensions can tide you over until your natural hair grows.

"The extensions are a temporary solution until my hair gets to a good length. My hair is doing its thing. There's probably some growth going on, but it's not very visible right now. I'm so excited to have my own hair be really long again. I never noticed how beautiful my hair was. I probably needed more maturity to really appreciate it."

How to Care for Your Extensions, According to Grace

1. When they start to get ratty-looking, wash them. Regular shampoo and conditioner works.

2. Brush them out only when you want to change the texture, i.e. from straight to curly. A brush with both boar and synthetic bristles, like the Olivia Garden Divine Care & Style brush ($26.95, ulta.com) is ideal.

3. Set your heat tools to a maximum of 300 degrees. And when curling, it's important to hold the piece for at least 10 seconds to set.