6 reasons why gamer chicks are hot

For years, I have wondered why my biggest crush was Shalonda. She was attractive, but what really got me feenin’ was her love for the Nintendo Entertainment System. She LOVED playing “Super Mario Brothers.” I watched in awe as she blazed through level after level like a boss. Some crushes come and go, but for years after, Shalonda had my heart because how she rolled with the Italian plumber.

Fast forward a few years. I read horror story after horror story about how women were tired of their men playing video games. There was this dandy – a pro tennis player DUMPED by his girlfriend over … gasp … video games. It seems like there are so many stories of women, neglected by their husbands and boyfriends, whenever the new “Madden,” “Call of Duty” or “Halo” drops.

However, there is a growing trend among the ladies, who see the value of acquiring one key asset in the game of love – getting their proper game ON. I’m not talking about watching your man play or running game at your local bar/club/pub. No, I’m talking about grabbing a controller, playing your man on co-op and enjoying it.

That, my friend, is hot. Very hot.

I have several women as friends who are gamers, and I have noticed common traits among them. Even if they aren’t absolute knockouts like Katherine Webb, they are ALL cuties – but they know what’s up.

First, they get it. Yes, they get it. You don’t have to explain to them what an FPS is, what a camper is and Lord knows, you don’t have to turn the controller the correct way in their hands. They get it. They may not be experts on games but know what’s going on and are great sports about it. They don’t get ticked off when their man spends 8, 10 hours beating a game. They don’t fret when their man is at their homie’s house with a “Madden” or “Gears” marathon. No, they let them get their game on – heck, they may even be in the midst of them!

Second, they understand compromise. This. They understand you can’t win all of them. If their man decides to play a game instead of doing something important, like meet their future in-laws, they won’t get mad. They will reach an agreement to remedy situations (“I know you are terrified of meeting my folks – maybe later?”) Just don’t cross them again. Please.
Third, they are unique creatures. No two gamer babes are the same. Each is a one-of-a-kind. It’s even cooler watching them interact with other gamer spouses, gamer girlfriends and female gamers. It’s like watching art in motion – they talk about headshots, flash bangs, cutting off opponents and capturing flags but without the elevated male egos and testosterone. They talk about beating a song on hard on “Dance Central 3,” dunking over Kevin Durant in “NBA 2K13” or the different endings in “Call of Duty: Black Ops 2.”

Willie Jefferson / Houston Chronicle

Fourth, the way they talk trash is sexy. My wife got me on this. Playing a game, she whipped me, spun around and rolled her rump in front of me.

“How you like me NOW, baby?”

Hot.

You go online, play some COD and get OWN3D by the same clown over, and over, and over again. At the end of the match, you hear a mic unmuted and this:

“You just got own3d by a girl!”

END. You replay the moves in your mind and then, you hear this pretty voice on the other end telling you “that just happened.” I’ve heard some women talk trash so good, they’d get guys hitting on them – and getting rejected – on public chats. And don’t let the woman be somewhat attractive. Watch out, guys – you could be on the next “Catfish” episode on MTV.

Fifth, they are the ultimate homieloverfriend. Imagine – your gaming partner also being your best friend and your lover. It’s rare to have all three of those qualities in one beautiful package, but gamer babes are just that. After they beat you in “Call of Duty,” you can hit Golden Corral, roll back to the crib for hot coffee. #Winning! Don’t get me wrong – sometimes after you got your butt handed to you, the last person you want to see is the person who did the bidding, but tell me, guys – can you truly turn down her pretty smile?

Cody Duty / Houston Chronicle

Sixth, they get you. I’ve been around the block quite a few times. I’ve seen women change to lure a man, then flip the script and turn into their true selves. I’ve seen men reel a woman in and turn back into the snake they were to start off with. However, most gamer babes are true to character. If you listen to them chat, they’ll tend to be real with you. They understand teamwork, especially if they play with a clan or play online often. They also understand just how important video games are for Gen Xers and beyond. We grew up with video games – we were latchkey kids who often came home to empty houses but could find comfort and an escape from gangs, drugs and yes, even girls (raising hand) through video games.

Now, we are bankers. Journalists. Doctors. Lawyers. Pro ballers. Trash men. Pilots. Police officers. We are taking care of our responsibilities, but after 8 hours of work, often stressful, it’s great to come home, check on the children, make sure our spouses are good, then retreat to our caves to play a couple video games. That doesn’t happen because most wives are downright jealous of video games. That’s reality. Here’s a clue, wives: Let your man play video games. If he’s a provider, let him play. Matter of fact, play video games with him. Don’t do it because you think it’s what he wants – do it to spend time with him. Who knows? You may find yourself enjoying the game and gaining a deep bond with your man.