Bios

Mike

Mike was an explorer who became lost in the Himalayan Mountains during the 1930s. Stranded in the snow, his hair gradually grew to massive lengths and thus the legend of the Abominable Snowman was born. He eventually made his way across the continent in a completely catatonic state after walking through a poppy field in Uzbekistan. At the Mediterranean Sea, he hopped on a ship on its way to the States, jumped into a cab alongside Clarence Gilyard and found himself in Rochester, NY. Shortly afterwards, some local beer brewers found him rummaging through their hop fields. They gave him a beer and Mike started speaking proper English again. He shaved himself down, surprising many of the locales that he was indeed human. Since then, Mike typically spends his time enjoying craft beer, good food and traveling throughout the states for music fests.

Jim

Originally the head jersey designer for AHL, Jim was a top man amongst his team. Then, one day, he had an unfortunate run in with one of the printing presses. Following the incident, Jim discovered that the machine had rendered his scalp incapable of growing hair. Other than that, he was fine. Distraught over his once beautiful perm, Jim lost his passion for jersey making, took up a job with a cell phone company and began steadily drowning his sorrows in Sprecher’s Cream Soda, which he actually really enjoyed. Then, one day, Jim remembered that he never had a perm to begin with, it was just a wig that he had left on since the year’s previous Halloween party. Stuck at his new job, Jim regardless began working on hockey jersey designs and to this day cannot quell his true passion.

Dylan

Born into a royal family, Dylan was an El Salvadorian prince in his home country. After a long night of alcoholic indulgence, Dylan found himself strolling home when he was jumped by a group of masked men. He was brought to an abandoned warehouse, but upon ripping the bag off his head, the mercenary leader was enraged. Due to a miscommunication, his crew thought they were to kidnap a prince, as opposed to THE Prince, who had been performing that night. With the singer now gone, the mercenaries had no choice but to flee the country, with Dylan in tow. They traveled all the way up Central America, before being apprehended at the border. Dylan, having survived off of nothing but bootlegged Faygo and Cheezits, stumbled out of the van. He was picked up by van full of hockey players bound for New Jersey. Seeking a life away from extravagance, he found work as a liquor store manager and eventually joined up with his fellow podcastmates, Jim and Mike, after a blurry night in Canada…