Not so much a general sports blog as an irregularly updated desperate plea for help.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Sean Avery once again saves a slow hockey news day...

Sean Avery's brilliance is beyond question. Through the use of non-violent resistance, he managed to ...

Give New York Rangers coach John Tortorella a rhetorical wedge; you can hear the, "Avery can't do anything because he's a marked man in this league," already;

Give the sports broadcasting industry that has, thank you Kelly McParland, "committ(ed) itself to hours of airtime every day, whether or not it has anything of interest to report," something to talk about for the next news cycle; good on him for doing it on a night when there were only three games on the NHL docket, then;

Keep his teammates from having to address serious questions about how they can manage to get into a higher playoff seed with a remaining schedule that consists of Carolina, Boston, Montreal and Philadelphia, twice;

Took hockey hammerheads' minds off the Sunday Times feature which called him a "fashion-fascinated dandy";

Cheesed off the New Jersey Devils.

Avery is far from the only reason to pay attention to the NHL, but he sure can liven up an otherwise dull night where there were only two other games on the schedule. Greater minds have said this already, but be glad there is a hockey player who will, when speaking for the record, refer to a recent tussle with Cal Clutterbuck of the Minnesota Wild as, "... the most honest moment of clarity I have on any level of life, as funny as that sounds. Before I went away and after I went away, it's still the quietest time I ever have in my head — when I’m about to engage someone in that manner."

That beats the hell out of hearing, "It's part of the game," every day of the week. It shows there is one guy out there trying to be somewhat original in a sport, which in Canada at least, is strangling the life out of itself. That McParland editorial in the National Post was just a wee bit withering, but it got at how the way saturation coverage of the NHL is killing the golden goose, for a lot of people who like a varied sports diet:

"in the age of 24/7 sports coverage, intelligence is way down the priority list.

Cable is a great invention, but it's ruined hockey. Maybe all sports for all I know, but hockey in particular. Televised hockey coverage consists of inane softball questions, rehearsed responses and panels of nattering heads.

" ... The players have been conditioned to expect such pap, and trained to respond in kind. Any young prospect with promise undergoes media conditioning in which they're coached on a handful of key methods for filling 20 seconds while saying nothing. Most barely make eye contact; few bother to break out of a monotone. It's excruciatingly dull, but you can't blame the players. The industry has brought this on itself by committing itself to hours of airtime every day, whether or not it has anything of interest to report. The time has to be filled, so pointless interviews, repetitious replays and mindless banter become crucial to filling gaps between the commercials.

The players have been conditioned to expect such pap, and trained to respond in kind. Any young prospect with promise undergoes media conditioning in which they're coached on a handful of key methods for filling 20 seconds while saying nothing. Most barely make eye contact; few bother to break out of a monotone. It's excruciatingly dull, but you can't blame the players. The industry has brought this on itself by committing itself to hours of airtime every day, whether or not it has anything of interest to report. The time has to be filled, so pointless interviews, repetitious replays and mindless banter become crucial to filling gaps between the commercials."

It's a reminder why the best time to be a hockey fan is during the Stanley Cup playoffs, which are not so far away. The game speaks for itself. Turn the TV on in time for the opening faceoff, shut it off when the game ends, go on living your life. Bliss.