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Fast-forwarding through people

Right now, I almost never have to pay attention anything I don’t want to pay attention to. Recently, on YouTube, I found this video of Jerry Seinfeld, Chris Rock, Louis CK and Ricky Gervais talking about comedy. I nearly lost my mind. I watched it about eight times. I forced other people to watch it. Then I realized that I liked hearing comedians talk about what they do. So I fell down the YouTube rabbit hole looking for videos with comedians. And then I stumbled upon WTF with Marc Maron podcast, which is all comedians all the time. Also, I listened to the episode of Q where Jian interviewed W. Kamau Bell about his new Chris Rock-produced show “Totally Biased.” Then I listened to the Fresh Air podcast with Louis C.K. and Tig Notaro about Notaro’s masterful set that she performed after being diagnosed with cancer. Just about everything I listen to is exactly what I want to listen to, commercial-free and available at my fingertips. Remember when this wasn’t so?

I remember listening to the radio, Kiss 98.5, which we received across the border where I grew up in St. Catharines. We listened to their Buffalo accents when they said “Lackawana” and “Tonawanda.” We listened to them talk about The Bills and how they had screwed up whatever Super Bowl they had just lost. We listened to ads for Lockport Gambino Ford, a place it was unlikely we would ever go. And I listened to whatever music they gave me. I remember really not liking Aaliyah. She sounded weird. She was different. Until one day I was listening to an Aaliyah song and I needed to know who sang it and also listen to everything she ever made. And now I love Aaliyah. I had to wade through Lockport Gambino Ford and Bills-news to get to her, but it was worth it. But no more. I still discover things. But I only discover things I am pretty sure I will like. I’m not challenging myself. And why would I? Life is hard. Maybe something that took me longer to get to know would be better for me. But who has time any more?

I thought of all this as I was talking to my sister and we were comparing notes on our Saturday nights and trying to decide who had had a worse night.

“I got hit on by some drunk guy name named Chad!”

“That’s nothing! My guy had a nose ring!”

“Well at least his name wasn’t Chad.”

“Nose ring is way worse than Chad. My guy actually chose to wreck his perfectly good nose with a big ugly nose ring. Your guy didn’t choose his name.”

“Listen, if his parents left him nameless for 22 years and then said ‘pick a name,’ he would have looked in the mirror, popped his Lacoste collar and said, without hesitation, ‘My name is Chad.’”

I thought about how quickly we had tossed our suitors aside. Maybe Chad was a nice guy. He sure was a good dancer and he had a lot of friends with whom he was high-fiving most of the night. And maybe Nose Ring was a good person, too. Plus, it takes guts to just talk to someone at the bar. But because these people had something we didn’t like, we wanted badly to fast-forward through them on to the next person. Trying new things is scary. But what if I had fast-forwarded through Aaliyah? I think it was the sample of the baby in “Are You That Somebody.” I thought I couldn’t get past it. But Kiss 98.5 kept playing it to me. And I’m glad they did.