Justice is blind — but not humorless. Especially here, where we have some of the craziest court cases in the country.

“I think New York has chutzpah in its DNA, and we get the wackiest lawsuits imaginable. We just do,” lawyer Stephen Meister says.

“We’re just a melting pot of all different types, and when you put all those different types of people together, you’re almost guaranteed to have craziness at every turn,” longtime lawyer Steven Sladkus adds.

Sometimes, the melting pot reaches a boiling point — in the courts, where 4 million allegations make it onto the docket in a given year. Or, to put it another way: “It’s the beauty of New York,” attorney Richard Hershman says.

Here’s a look at some of the city’s most unusual cases:

Dead Wrong

Grace Funeral ChapelsGabriella Bass

A Brooklyn woman planning her mother’s funeral got the shock of her life when she received an e-mail so abhorrent it would make an undertaker shiver.

“We would like to thank you for allowing our directors to f–k the hell out of your loved one,” the e-mail read. “There is nothing like a dead piece of a–.”

Pamela Johnson, 46, is suing Grace Funeral Chapels, claiming she got the message from an AOL account once used by the Cypress Hills business just two days before her mom’s funeral.

“How do you get past that? Even the thought of someone violating your mother . . .” Johnson told The Post.

The funeral home says its e-mail was hacked. The case is ongoing.

Butt Heads

Mark Moody sitting on his windowsill.J.C. Rice

This Marlboro man enjoys a cigarette while sitting out on the windowsill of his lower Manhattan apartment, but cops mistook one of his smoking breaks for a suicide attempt.

Officers busted down the door of Mark Moody’s Peck Slip apartment — where the window is just 12 feet above the ground — and hauled him to Bellevue Hospital.

A doctor quickly released him, and Moody, a lawyer, took the city to court for the 2010 mix-up. He walked away with a $45,001 settlement.

He Fought the Law

A man had taken to standing out in front of a Long Island courthouse, badmouthing attorneys and the legal profession in general, lawyer Marjorie Mesidor recalled.

“Totally exercising his First Amendment rights,” explained Mesidor, who wasn’t connected with the case.

But the man was sued — by an attorney.

“You can’t beat the irony,” she laughed.

Figar- Oh, no!

Baritone Stephen Kechulius in “Tosca.”Anne M. Peterson

An Upper West Side woman sued her neighboring landlord in an attempt to bring the curtain down on an opera singer and piano player next door.

Elizabeth Connors went to court to shut up her neighbors on West 85th Street, alleging that they engaged in “disturbing” opera singing and piano playing at all hours.

New York City Opera star Stephen Kechulius and his Juilliard-trained pianist wife, Carol, who were not named in the lawsuit, were stunned by the complaint. The landlord, Philip Roitman, was perplexed, as well, and asked, “Why not just talk to me like a neighbor?”

Connors didn’t pursue the legal claim.

House Heist

Enrico Mancini’s house in Brooklyn.(Angel Chevrestt

Enrico Mancini was hard of hearing, nearly blind and couldn’t speak, read, or write English when he died at age 98. But that didn’t stop his Brooklyn neighbor, Benjamin Herbst, from claiming the man had signed over the deed to his house for free.

And Herbst didn’t just take the house; he tried to merge it with his own.

Mancini’s only living relative, his daughter-in-law, sued Herbst after she visited the Borough Park home and saw construction work had begun to join it with Herbst’s huge abode.

“He’s a recidivist fraudulent deed preparer. He just keeps doing the same things over and over again,” said lawyer Stephen Meister, of the firm Meister, Seelig & Fein, who has a different case against Herbst.

Herbst had filed a deed, later canceled by the court, claiming the Mancini home had been transferred to Herbst’s son. The ensuing construction “totally destroyed the garage and driveway…and has caused the structural integrity of the premises to be severely impaired,” court papers say.

A judge awarded Mancini’s daughter-in- law $570,000 in damages and ordered Herbst to cut down 13 beams connecting the structures.

Rock Bottom

A city proctologist got rich touting himself as “M.D. TUSCH” in subway ads, but his reputation bottomed out in court.

Jeffrey LaVigne — whose ubiquitous ads in the ’90s promised “No Pain. No bleeding” — cruised around in a lavender Bentley, lavished his lovers with jewelry and threw big parties in the Hamptons.

But “he was doing these procedures on people without anesthetic,” lawyer Richard Hershman recalled. “We sued him for pain and suffering, and suddenly,[victims] came out of the woodwork.”

At least 49 patients sued him for malpractice, and the feds got him on tax evasion. The state Health Department probed LaVigne when it realized his medical license had been suspended in Washington state.

LaVigne attempted suicide and, after losing his medical practice, told a Brooklyn judge in the tax-evasion case that he had been reduced to selling used cars in Seattle, according to reports.

Bad Bar Tabby

A New Jersey woman stopped in at McSorley’s Old Ale House in the East Village for a drink but instead got into a catfight — with a cat.

Cheryl Sibley sued the legendary 150-year-old bar, claiming she had to be hospitalized after its beloved resident feline scratched her in 2009.

The city Health Department later barred Minnie the tabby from the bar during drinking hours.

The case was settled.

Whopper of a Case

This Burger King on the Lower East Side got in trouble after it charged a large Coke for 89, instead of 69, cents.Helayne Seidman

A New Yorker marched into a Manhattan court seeking $100 in damages against Burger King.

Her beef? The fast-food chain’s location three blocks from her home sold a large Coke for 89 cents — but one six blocks away priced the same drink at 69 cents.

Steven Sladkus, a law student at the time, accompanied his dad, Harvey, an arbitrator, to Manhattan’s Small Claims Court that night about 20 years ago.

Harvey Sladkus, now 85, said the case stands out in his memory even after decades of working in New York’s legal community.

Stunned, he asked her, “Why are you suing?”

“Well, I had to walk two extra blocks,” she replied.

“Madam, it was your choice to go to either place,” he recalled saying.

His son said Burger King didn’t even bother to show up, even though skipping a court appearance “exponentially” raises the odds of losing a case.

Burger King won anyway.

Oh, Deer

ShutterstockUsually in collisions between deer and humans, the deer gets the worst of it. But it was just the opposite for one Staten Islander.

Paulette Cheuvront was baby-sitting at her daughter’s Huguenot home in 2006 when she went into the garage to fetch a baby gate — and was smacked in the face by a buck, according to lawyer Ed Pavia, of the firm Jonathan D’Agostino & Associates.

“A mounted deer head dropped eight feet from the wall, with its antlers striking her in the face,” Pavia said. “It was a traumatic incident.”

The son-in-law, it turned out, was an avid hunter.

Cheuvront, then 60, sued her daughter’s homeowner’s insurer and got a $135,000 settlement.

Look out below!

The tenants of a West Village building found themselves in a stinky situation.

A tenant in this West Village apartment building was sued after repeatedly throwing poop out of their 11th-floor apartment window.Helayne Seidman

“The people would wake up in the morning and see excrement all over the sidewalk. It kept happening, and then it started not to look like dog excrement,” Sladkus recalled.

Surveillance cameras at the Christopher Street building caught one of the building’s own tenants tossing tissues full of poop out the window of their 11th-floor pad, including six times in a single two-hour span, court papers say.

“I had to bring an emergency motion and get an injunction to stop these people from throwing feces out the window!” said Sladkus, of the firm Wolf Haldenstein.

The tenant and his girlfriend in the 2001 case “engaged in conduct which simply does not befit human beings,” the building’s board declared in its legal filing. “It is impossible to conceive of any injury [the defendants] will suffer from being required to immediately stop throwing excrement from the window.”

A judge granted the request. The tenant, who later sold the apartment, agreed to keep his poop in the house.

Woman scorned

Ling Chan was fired and later sued after she wrote an inordinate amount of love letters to coworkers.Supplied

After getting fired from the Financial Industry Regulatory Authority in 2012, a Brooklyn woman flooded the organization’s online job board with 574 applications for 82 jobs using 150 accounts and 11 e-mail addresses.

Ling Chan had been fired after allegedly haranguing a co-worker with repeated requests for coffee dates, Facebook friend requests and gifts. The co-worker refused the overtures, but it didn’t deter Chan.

Hauled into human resources for sexual harassment, she asked the HR rep to pass a love note to the object of her affection.

When FINRA refused to rehire her, Chan refocused her attention on HR manager John Braut, allegedly signing him up for porn and gay magazines and writing posts on Craigslist and other sites saying she’d “love the opportunity to push [him] in front of a taxi or bus.”

FINRA took Chan to court and won a permanent injunction to get her to stop.