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13 files left to hand-merge with the Serious Engine open source release. It's
kind of funny to me that I'm back on this .plan file writing about my
progress on Serious Sam, just like how I started writing here. Everything old
is new again!

The nostalgia of all this is overwhelming. I spent so much effort on this
project, at a time when everything was in transition.

At the time, I was working a cash register and scrubbing toilets at a
cybercafe, and racing home to my parents' house after to work on this game
until I passed out from exhaustion and then repeat again the next day.

Everything I was struggling to change in the world evaporated with Loki.
Serious Sam was the only evidence I had that the last two years weren't
a huge waste. The rest of the Loki crew went and got real jobs, either doing
interesting work on important games or got the hell out of the industry
entirely.

But I kept tilting at the windmills, stubborn idiot that I am.

I was broke as fuck, living with my parents, doing menial labor for less than
minimum wage under the table, and holding onto a hopeless dream. I was never
happier in my whole life.

It's nice to revisit. Looking through the diffs, I can see some wild decisions
that I made in response to wild decisions Croteam made. I can see where I
learned so much during that project, and I can see how much more I still had
to learn.

Most people won't care about this source code because they don't have to.
Someone will make sure it works on new platforms and such, the same way that
someone got Quake 3 running on Raspberry Pi, and everyone will benefit without
having to dig deep themselves. And that's great and how it should be. But I'm
pretty grateful to be given this opportunity to excavate the past and live
in this time for a little longer.

I still tilt at windmills. Every goddamned windmill I see. If I'm lucky, I'll
be writing this post again in 2031, too.

--ryan.

When this .plan was written: 2016-03-22 12:21:08
.plan archives for this user are here (RSS here).
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