March 26, 2008

Coffee Snorterz: Caged Panda Heat Edition

The Princess is late to this party. She did notice it yesterday, but inexplicably her employer seems reluctant to fork over a paycheck if she doesn't put in this thing called "work"...

Go figure. But while the blog princess labors under the eye of Phoebus in a vain attempt to cram her mouth with distressful bread, the assembled villainry will be glad to know the Balance of the Universe is preserved. Somewhere in a sandbox far, far away, BillT is still fiddling about with women's undergarments:

On the bright side, our USAF Official PX/BX Thong Monitor reports that two-thirds of the thongs nestled coyly between the SWAT-style pistol lanyards and the "Writes Underwater!™" Pens appear to have been purchased. Back to you, Cassie.

On the even-brighter side, the warmer weather (it hit 35C at 1000) has encouraged those contractors of the female persuasion to dress in a somewhat breezier style, resulting in some amusing near-collisions in the chow hall between guys paying more attention to the scenery than to the guardrails lining the salad bar at just-below-belt-buckle level...

Regular readers of this site may remember that several months ago, we covered the story of the sexually incompetent panda at a zoo in Thailand, who was being shown panda porn to get them [sic] ready for breeding.

Well, now video has emerged of exactly what the panda's sex education sessions look like - and it turns out that he gets shown the porn while in a small cage, with photographers looking on, and men pointing to the screen and telling him to watch it.

Obviously the Chinese pr0n perveyors are not regular readers of this site. Not a disco ball in site. And while there is a *jungle* gym, where's the egg salad? I mean seriously, they're already dressed in their best (albeit distincly furry) *French Maid* outfits, where is the champaigne and cherries?
Puhleeeze.
Where's Hugh Hefner's progeny when you need them?

"Testikles was the greek god of brash overconfidence, also known as "ballsiness".

He had a descendant in the early part of the 20th century named Glass... The story goes that if Mr. Glass trousers were tight to the point of causing friction among the brass ones they would play Stormy Weather and lightning would exit the arse of Mr. Glass.

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