I have heard the word mindfulness at least 15 times this week (ok, maybe it was 3 times), so I started wondering what the hell it is.

Here is the dictionary definition:

The quality or state of being conscious or aware of something.

A mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.

Mindfulness is being in the moment, fully present. Living in the digital age with our smartphones being an extension of our hands makes this difficult to achieve. Is it really that important? Is this a craze like “self-care?”

If I hadn’t accidentally fell into mindfulness earlier this week, I would’ve shrugged it off and cracked some jokes about it and that would have been that. I shattered my phone screen at the office on Tuesday, because I am a total klutz, it was so bad I cut my hand on the glass – nice job Bode (Genius Phone Repair to the rescue). I dropped my phone off to be fixed and was told it would be about 30 minutes, since I wasn’t going to sit around and wait, I decided to go grab lunch.

I ATE LUNCH ALONE ON A PATIO WITH NO PHONE. This really happened, and I am so glad it did. I sat out on the patio with a pad of paper and a pen, wrote down some thoughts, actually tasted my lunch and observed my surroundings. Holy shit, it was awesome!

We use our devices as a crutch, if we are in situations by ourselves or simply feel uncomfortable, we turn to our phones. Embrace the uncomfortable, relish in it and you might just learn something about yourself.

I walked away from that lunch with a commitment to try to live in the moment versus worrying about everything that could possibly/maybe happen….and maybe set my phone down every once in awhile (baby steps).

I’ve made a lot of mistakes along this small business journey and leadership is at the top. No need to rehash for the purpose of this blog, don’t worry they still haunt me, instead I want to share the steps I am taking to be the best boss I can be.

A little over six months ago, we began implementing the Entrepreneur Operating System or EOS. If you haven’t heard people talk about this program before, you will now. I encourage you to read the book Traction and learn for yourself what this program can do for your business.

One of the key components in EOS is ensuring you have the right people in the right positions. I have known for awhile that my talents are best utilized out in the community and working with our clients, I am a visionary. I can outline systems all day long, but when it comes to the implementation, I leave a lot to be desired.

I knew I needed a change and my role had to evolve.

Outline your current responsibilities. What do you love? What do you dislike? What do you absolutely hate?

Next look at the list, where do your talents lie? Circle the responsibilities that you can delegate. For me, this was to our managing director. If you don’t have someone to delegate to at this time, this is a good list for the future when you can afford to hire someone to assist you.

Create an org chart and define each staff members role. By outlining what they do on a day-to-day basis you can identify holes and capacity. Be sure that you are not identifying responsibilities by person but by position. The person should fit the role, not the other way around.

Set aside time to think big picture. I was so caught up in the day-to-day that I lost sight of the overall vision of the business. Build time into your schedule and your role to strategize, your business depends on it.

Lead. Whether you are directly managing your staff or not, you still need to lead. You need to give clear direction, provide the necessary job tools, let go (delegate & trust), acknowledge the bigger picture and give yourself time to define that bigger picture.

There are a lot more steps that full under each of these items, however this gives you a good overall picture of what you need to work towards.

Don’t have a heart attack, but I currently have 1,215 emails in my inbox. Are you hyperventilating? Take a deep breath, here’s a paper bag – I hear you can breath into it and it helps.

If it makes you feel any better, I don’t categorize or file my emails. If I am at 1,214, I know that I have 0 unread emails. I have a system, it is just a system that gives other people anxiety. I sent an article around the office the other day by Tim Herrera of Smarter Living; the article addressed procrastination. If we are honest with ourselves, we all put off the tasks we like the least. I bet you just thought of that task right now…

So how the hell do we go about changing what is so ingrained in us to naturally do?

To steal from Nike, JUST DO IT. Start out your day tackling the one thing you have been putting off for heaven knows how long. Schedule time on your calendar, say an hour or two to focus on that one task.

If it is a larger project, then spread it out over a few days or weeks (as needed – don’t get carried away). My suggestion would be to do it first thing in the a.m. that is when I am at my most focused. It probably has something to do with the mass amount of caffeine I have consumed.

If you are feeling truly introspective, you can write down all the reasons you have avoided that certain task. Is it time? Does it require confronting someone? It is something that does not come naturally to you; such as writing?

If you take my inbox as an example, I know it will take me HOURS to organize it and there are other tasks that are more pressing. Here is the deal though, it hangs over my head and I know that it affects productivity because I spend a lot of my time searching for certain emails. If they were categorized by clients or type of communication, I would be able to find it in less time – leaving more time for those other important tasks.

What do you think? What tips do you have for avoiding procrastination (get it)?

Negotiation is a part of every aspect of our life. In your personal life it could be trying to get your spouse to do a chore or run an errand. In your professional life it might involve a raise, increase in a client’s budget or a lease on new office space.

Negotiation is a bit like conflict resolution, it makes people uncomfortable. Asking for more money or a concession is not easy, what it is…is necessary and part of life.

So…how do you become a better negotiator? Here are a few tips from me and Harvard Business Review (HBR), we’ll see if you can tell the difference.

Use humor. Not everything in life has to be so damn serious. The first thing I do when entering an awkward conversation is admit it is awkward. This usually sets people at ease and opens the floor for an honest discussion.

Change the setting. Go grab a beer and review that contract. Taking someone out of their everyday setting can lighten the mood and loosen everyone up. I mean, a cocktail or two helps lessen the tension.

Smartness or as they say IQ. According to Harvard Business Review, people with higher IQs tend to approach negotiations in a more cooperative or collaborative way. They also have some really witty, intelligent responses. Some people are just good on their feet. For those of us that are not, refer to #1.

Self-awareness. HBR has this to say about those of us that are self reflective – we all have mental models to interpret other people’s behaviors, and awareness of these models is key to influencing how people think of us. What this also means is narcissistic individuals are at a disadvantage, as they have no ability to see past themselves.

The deal is you get the ability to choose how you approach the convo, what you say and ultimately how you react.

I think everyone should have a blog, whether it is personal or company focused. I started Small Biz Musings, so I could talk about my journey as a business owner and the success and failures I encounter. Whether you want it to be specific to the industry you are in or a lifestyle blog, start one.

Why? Because I said so…and 5 other reasons.

Therapeutic: When I sit down to write a blog I am able to write my thoughts and perspective on a certain topic. Even if no one reads it, I was able to put my opinion out there and maybe help someone else in a similar position.

Education. Before I write, I research the topic to see what other people are saying. There will always be someone else who has written on the same thing. Be sure you offer your point of view and how it differs from others. Take the time to educate your readers, the 3 that you have.

Visibility. If you are smart about how you push your blog out once it is written, you can gain a lot of visibility. By using your personal social media channels you can post your articles and drive traffic back to your blog site. It takes time to build an audience, so don’t be discouraged. Also set up an email service that will notify your subscribers when you post a new blog.

Fun. It really is fun to be able to write something and then publish it yourself. I have no idea how far-reaching the blog is, or if that many people read it – although my traffic says people do – but it is incredibly rewarding personally.

Courage. It takes serious kahunas to put your thoughts out there for all to read. By allowing others to read your thoughts and critique, you are building character. It isn’t always easy to take the feedback that others give us and look at it constructively, however that is how we learn and grow.

I really do encourage you to start a blog, no matter what is happening in my life, I find time to publish at least once a week.

Most of us crave leadership, we want to be looked upon as an expert and someone that others look up to. But what does it take? You don’t wake up one morning and say “I am going to lead today!” Honestly, it really isn’t your decision at all, regardless of your job title. A leader is chosen, by peers, colleagues and those that report to her/him. I was listening to the podcast Entre Leadership last week and Dave Ramsey made a great point about leaders (if you could get past all of his yelling). He said “someone is always watching.” A bit creepy, yes, but the fact is that it isn’t just what you do when people are watching, it is also what we do when no one is looking that defines you as a leader. And lets be clear, someone is always watching. We live in the technology age, someone is always there to capture a screw-up or misstep especially if you are in a leadership position and you can’t compartmentalize leadership.

You don’t get to choose when you want to lead. There are days I wake up and I just don’t want to adult but the best leaders lead by example and that means you show staff what you expect from them by your actions. I don’t believe there are any set characteristics that make up a great leader, not one person is the same. I do believe that you aren’t afraid to learn from those you hire, acknowledge failure and get out of the way of those you lead.

This same time every year, I question my decision to run my own business. Why? Because…taxes. When you are paying out an unGodly amount at the end of the year, even though you paid quarterly throughout the year, it is hard to justify the choice to run a small business. Then comes the joyful time where you need to estimate the quarterly you will pay the following year, and then realize that the 300% growth you experienced in the last year, will actually cost you money. Who knew? Growth is expensive.

It further reiterates the fact, that no one (the government) seems to understand how much money growth costs in salaries, insurance, benefits, operational costs..etc. So, why do it? Why run your own business?

Quite honestly, I don’t know how to do anything else and that isn’t to say that I am doing this exceptionally well…but I have been doing it so long that I can’t possibly comprehend a change.

It is during tax time that I have to constantly remind myself of 834’s accomplishments in the short time we have been around. I have to hold on to the feeling I get every day walking into the office and realizing that all of that is a direct result of hard work, anxiety attacks, frustration, anger and stubbornness. Not to mention the support from friends, colleagues and family.

Running a small business really does suck sometimes, but not all the time. So hold onto that and remember “this too shall pass.”