“It’s just the way we are”

H came home from school today. “I was convinced I was getting the class frog to bring home today, I really was. I’m so sad” she announced.

I breathed a sigh of relief, as nobody really looks forward to it when you’re a parent. Do they?

“I really did think I was getting it this week, but A did instead. But I have to get it before M does!” she blurted out.

and this worries me. She’s not a competitive child in any way, and yet this year she’s definitely wanting to do ‘better’ than her friend – her best friend. I told her it doesn’t matter, and that doing your best is the most important, and if you really have to be competitive, then just make sure you get the class frog before the naughty children do.

But I’ve seen it a few times now. They play together wonderfully, but every now and then H will point out that her friend did something before she did, and my heart sinks. It shouldn’t be about doing something first, it should be about doing it – it doesn’t matter when. I’m sure all children do it, and I know what has caused it – being at school. You’re always competing against someone for something at school aren’t you, at this age?

I’ve heard her say many times how she wants to be on a higher book band than her best friend, and it’s silly. She should want to be on a higher book band because she enjoys reading. It’s all still so black and white. We were moved up to gold level a week ago, and so far we’ve had two books, rather than a new book every two days which is great. The books she has are now ones we can google to find out more facts, which she’s finding interesting too.

Quite frankly, she’s challenged by these books in a really good way – it’s the perfect level for her. I think we’ll stay on these ones for a while now, and that’s a good thing.

I asked her why she gets so competitive with her best friend when it actually doesn’t matter. “because it’s just the way we are” she replied. Yep, I bet there’s a class full of competitive 5 year olds… I could never be a teacher!!