You are so old, the candles on your birthday cake raised earths temperature by 3 degrees.
You are so old, when you were a kid rainbows were black and white.
You are so old, you fart dust.
You are so old, you sat next to Jesus in school.
You are so old, you walked into an antique shop and they sold you.
You are so old, your birth-certificate expired.
You are so old, if you to acted your age, you'd die.

What is the best birth control method for really-old seniors?
Nudity.
The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.
God, grant me the Senility
To forget the people
I never liked anyway,
The good fortune
To run into the ones I do,
And the eyesight
To tell the difference.
"You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder
what else you could do while you're down there." George Burns.

"He is alive, but only in the sense that he can't be legally buried."
Geoffrey Madan

"A man's only as old as the woman he feels." Groucho Marx.

"People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh
birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit." George Burns.

Wow, this is freakin awesome!!!!

Damn you guys(and very fine young woman hey FA waving frantically!),this is great, this totally made my day(along with several other really cool surprises). I dent know folks here knew my birthday was today.

Sticks, I think your header is quite appropriate considering my behavior as of late. Good show for sticking the hot pocker in my eye.

manlystanly, My friend and mentor Richard "Bassnut" Greene gave it to me. He told me debating with me was like eating a red hot chili pepper with a PH.D. How about that for a comment! It stuck, because that was what he always called me after that.

The thing that amazes me is that you guys do ugly on steroids - some of these pictures truly took my appetite away.

Sticks, I think your header is quite appropriate considering my behavior as of late. Good show for sticking the hot pocker in my eye.

Dudemang, it ain't about calling you out...this is a birthday roast...and it;s only happening cuz yer ol' shrivelling bald head looks like a 90 year old **** that Anna Nichole Smith woulda had in her mouth...oh yeah, I went there...

Originally Posted by Sir Terrence the Terrible

The thing that amazes me is that you guys do ugly on steroids - some of these pictures truly took my appetite away.

Don't be knockin' the supplemention...within 5 years y'all will be on some form of steroid...you read it here first...

So, I broke into the palace
With a sponge and a rusty spanner
She said : "Eh, I know you, and you cannot sing"
I said : "That's nothing - you should hear me play piano"

Happy Birthday Sir T

Dudemang, it ain't about calling you out...this is a birthday roast...and it;s only happening cuz yer ol' shrivelling bald head looks like a 90 year old **** that Anna Nichole Smith woulda had in her mouth...oh yeah, I went there...

Yeah you went there.....is there anything you want to hold back on?

Don't be knockin' the supplemention...within 5 years y'all will be on some form of steroid...you read it here first...

Well, I would but my uncles, cousins and sister advised me not to...
well, no, I wouldn't...especially for a venerated elder who can write a firsthand compare/contrast article for Car & Track for the Model T and the new Lexus Hybrid.

I saw the picture that you recently posted on Facebook...I literally wept with the remembrances of "The King and I"...

...and stop makin' the news ya horny bastiche...

Originally Posted by Sir Terrence the Terrible

I pray to God it won't be cause I am ugly as sin.....!

On a rare serious note...y'all are judging steroids by the 1980's WWF reports...it's much more complex. As a 10 yr veteran of the pharmaceutical industry I can assure you that the situation ain't what you think...

So, I broke into the palace
With a sponge and a rusty spanner
She said : "Eh, I know you, and you cannot sing"
I said : "That's nothing - you should hear me play piano"

Well, I would but my uncles, cousins and sister advised me not to...
well, no, I wouldn't...especially for a venerated elder who can write a firsthand compare/contrast article for Car & Track for the Model T and the new Lexus Hybrid.

I saw the picture that you recently posted on Facebook...I literally wept with the remembrances of "The King and I"...

...and stop makin' the news ya horny bastiche...

On a rare serious note...y'all are judging steroids by the 1980's WWF reports...it's much more complex. As a 10 yr veteran of the pharmaceutical industry I can assure you that the situation ain't what you think...

LOLOLOL, does anyone have a hankey, this is too funny. All of this is making me laugh so hard me stomach is hurting. Some folks around the studio are getting a pretty good kick out of some of this too.

Thanks for the ammo guys, I used some of this on other folks around the studio who had their birthday yesterday as well.