My 18 month old son wakes up, crying, two or three times a night.
When I go in, he tells me he is hungry and I dutifully will go
with him to the kitchen and feed him yogurt or a banana. A
couple of times I have even made him a scrambled egg (at 2:30 in
the morning! Who is this person?!) The only reason I do this is
because he doesn't eat very much at dinnertime any more, so I
feel guilty that he may indeed be hungry. I know that by feeding
him at night he will come to expect it...and has....but on the
other hand, what if he really IS hungry? How can I get him to
eat more at dinner? I did sleep train him when he was 9-10
months old and is this just another sleep training situation?
I'm exhausted and I need him to sleep through the night like he
used to. So, has anyone ever gone through this and what did you
do?
sleeping over a hot stove

It will not hurt him to be hungry for one night. He will learn
to eat more at dinnertime!

This is a lesson I have recently learned, in a different context.
My husband disappears into our only bathroom for 30 minutes each
morning for his shower, etc. My son would always wait until my
husband was in the shower to want to go to the potty, and we
couldn't convince him to do it beforehand. We are in the middle
of potty training, and of course I want him to go when he has to
go, so I would either knock on the bathroom door and have him go
in (which my husband hates) or have my son pee in a little bowl,
and pour it into the toilet when the bathroom is free. I don't
like using the little bowl. After a few times, my son would ONLY
want to use the little bowl, not the real potty, so he would
intentionally wait until the bathroom was in use. Finally I got
sick of it, and when he had to use the potty and my husband was
in the shower, I said, ''You just have to wait.'' He cried and got
mad, and wet his pullup. But the next day he went right in to
use the potty before my husband's shower, and he has ever since.

So the lesson is, he didn't learn that he couldn't use the potty
when the bathroom was in use, until I really showed him. I think
the same thing will happen when you stop giving your son food at
night. You should say at dinnertime that there won't be any more
midnight snacks, and then stick to it. In the morning give him a
big breakfast, and then repeat at dinnertime that he won't get
food in the middle of the night. I don't think it will take him
too long.
anon

This is one of those lovely times when you get to tell yourself entirely
unsatisfying (but totally true) things like ''I decide what food to offer, and
WHEN, and my child decides whether or not to eat.'' Then you decide
that dinner, perhaps a bedtime snack, and breakfast, are when to offer
food. Tell your son, both before the fact, and then every time he wakes
up, that night is not a time for food, night is a time for sleeping. Repeat it
ad nauseum every time he wakes up. Say it calmly, and say nothing
else. Sit with him and offer comfort if you like. Perhaps provide a sippy
cup of water for him. But under no circumstances feed him in the middle
of the night, not even milk, not even if he ate nothing the day before, not
even if he cries and cries. Kids are way smarter than we sometimes
give them credit for. He will figure out that he better eat dinner if he is
hungry.

If this ''cold turkey'' approach is too much for you, you could choose one
food that he tolerates, but doesn't really like, and offer only that, ever.
No negotiating. For my son, to get him to stop expecting a full meal at
bedtime (in his case, a stall technique to try to stay up longer), we chose
cooked carrots. He just didn't like the carrots enough to make it worth
the effort, and gave up the endless ''but I'm hungry'' thing at bedtime in
about 3 days.
Karen

I think this is probably another sleep training situation, as you
put it. All the books say that as long as toddlers are offered a
reasonable selection of food a reasonable number of times per day
(like 3 to 5), they won't starve themselves. So I hate to say it,
but....good luck with that sleep training.
anon
My 2 yo recently went through a bout of eating less at dinner
and waking up hungry at night. I think she was overstimulated
because of the holidays and the fact that we were experiencing
a change in her daycare schedule. I started minimizing
snacks/juices and doing them around 2 pm instead of 3 or 4 pm,
so she would be really hungry for dinner by 6 pm. I made her
favorite foods for dinner, and then offered snacks before
bedtime (some as late as 10 pm)- yogurt, banana, even ice
cream, until I was satisfied that she'd eaten enough to last
the night. I wouldn't normally go to such lengths, but I think
she might also have been going through another growth spurt and
needing the extra calories. I just ask her whether she wants
another yogurt after she finishes the first one (she loves the
YoBaby, really rich yogurt with full fat). Sometimes she will
down two in under 10 minutes!! But she's not waking up hungry
at night anymore. I think they grow so fast sometimes they
need more than we think they do, and it's not always easy to
know whether they are in a growth spurt or not. Good luck!!

P.S. Don't know if this will work for you, but some foods my
toddler really likes are: steamed-until-it-melts-in-your-mouth
broccoli/cauliflower/zucchini, tofu, roasted sunflower seeds,
plain buttered pasta... All of which surprised me. The veggies
seem to stimulate her appetite for other foods, she fills up on
medium firm tofu in a chicken/garlic/ginger broth, and the
sunflower seeds add extra nutritious calories (although a bit
salty) to any snack or meal - I've used the seeds to fill her
up when she refuses everything else.

P.P.S. If you haven't already, try more finger foods or making
eating interesting using chopsticks - my toddler LOVES
chopsticks, and we found a chopstick ''connector'' to hold the
smaller disposable chopsticks - she uses them like crab
pinchers. Oh, and we also let her add a little salt or pepper
to her food so that she feels more grown up - she eats with a
lot more interest if she's had a hand in ''cooking'' her food!
anonymous