How To Wreck A Burger

I was down in southeast Ohio today and on my way home I stopped at a small diner along Route 33, just north of Logan named, strangely enough, the 33 Diner. (I'd been there before, about two years ago, but it had shut down and now had new ownership.) I went in, sat at the counter and ordered a cheeseburger -- no lettuce, tomato, onion, pickles -- anything. Just the burger, medium rare, with some mayonnaise on the side. The waitress asked if I wanted fries. I said no.

I watched the cook throw this machine-formed patty on the grill, and saw him salt it enough to help out the ocean. I then waited and waited and waited. He cooked it on one side for just over seven minutes, then flipped it and cooked it for another ten minutes before adding the slice of cheese, and cooking it for three or four more minutes.

When it was finally served to me it was accompanied by fries. I had to ask the waitress for mayonnaise, and she gave me one of those little plastic squeeze packets. Needless to say, the burger was well, well done and as dry as sawdust. I ate a couple of bites, finished my glass of sweet tea and went to pay the check. Turns out the cheeseburger was eight dollars and the tea was two dollars.

Oh, and they had a little card in a stand in front of me on the counter showing how much to tip for various amounts.

At least I know now why I hardly ever see any cars parked there when I go by.

I should have stopped at Dee's Diner near Nelsonville. The food would have been just as bad, but it would have been a lot cheaper.

Hey Michael, I am surprised you didn't complain. $8 for shoe leather is crazy. Well the old 33 Diner will be closed again THAT'S FOR SURE. oN THE LAST NIGHT THE HELP WILL WONDER WHAT HAPPENED---RIGHT ON THE HIGHWAY, SHOULDA-COULDA----sorry bout the caps---i didn't did it---it did it itself. Blame it on the humidity.

Mr. Hoffman, after watching someone do that to my Burger. I would not have had the patience you showed. I would have refused it, asked for another or just a refund. I think if you order a Burger cooked a certain way, and what is served is not a bit close to what is ordered, I have the right to ask for a replacement, or refund. Burning a burger like that is just wrong... The over kill with salt... not edible ..JMHO. Did they give it last rites before the sacrifice?

5 Guys may be somewhat well done, but they are pretty juicy somehow. They make a good burger, and their fresh cut fries are good as well. What Michael is describing sounds nothing like a burger from 5 Guys.

Mr. Hoffman, after watching someone do that to my Burger. I would not have had the patience you showed. I would have refused it, asked for another or just a refund. I think if you order a Burger cooked a certain way, and what is served is not a bit close to what is ordered, I have the right to ask for a replacement, or refund. Burning a burger like that is just wrong... The over kill with salt... not edible ..JMHO. Did they give it last rites before the sacrifice?

Frankly, I was tired. I'd just spent some time on a couple of trails in a rather hilly state forest and didn't have the energy to fight.

I LOLed at the mention of DEE's places. I feel the same about the place. I do alot of work in the area and have had a bad time finding anything respectable. The Coffee Cup came recommended, but the 2 times I have been there its been real slow service and the food was just ok. Seems reviews of the coffee cup have droped the last cpl of years. When you find a good burger in the area let me know. For now if I am in the area I hit O'bettys for a hot dog in Athens or Millers for chicken.

5 Guys may be somewhat well done, but they are pretty juicy somehow. They make a good burger, and their fresh cut fries are good as well. What Michael is describing sounds nothing like a burger from 5 Guys.

I agree...5 Guys gets a bad rap around here by some...but ,at least speaking about our local one, the burgers are juicy, and have great flavor..not burned and salted as you descibed at that horrible place!!!

I LOLed at the mention of DEE's places. I feel the same about the place. I do alot of work in the area and have had a bad time finding anything respectable. The Coffee Cup came recommended, but the 2 times I have been there its been real slow service and the food was just ok. Seems reviews of the coffee cup have droped the last cpl of years. When you find a good burger in the area let me know. For now if I am in the area I hit O'bettys for a hot dog in Athens or Millers for chicken.

I've not stopped at The Coffee Cup in several months, but I've always found it to be good. Granted, sometimes the service leaves a bit to be desired in terms of qujickness, but otherwise I've enjoyed my visits there. Have you tried Bush's Family Restaurant in Logan? I've enjoyed their country fried steak, among other things. And in Nelsonville, don't forget the Sonic.

Before I hire someon to work in my kitchen, I make them cook one of our hand pattied 1/2 lb, locally raised and butchered, 80-20's. rare, med. rare, medium, med well, and well. the staff eats them on a dibs basis, I can eat rare or well , so the point is, if the burgers aren't perfect, or the potential employee presses down with the spatula on burger, they are told, see ya. That's one of a few hoops they need to be able to jump thru, to be considered for a job here. I have fired on the spot a few who made the cut then decided it's a swell idea to press down on the burger with said spatula, to "help along" the cooking process. People who just don't give a damn, shouldn't be in business, and in most cases usually aren't after word gets out about them. LOL, Greymo!

Bush's Family Restaurant in Logan gets my . I noticed on the menu they had fried chicken sandwiches and a grilled pork tenderloin entree. Out of curiosity I asked if they could make me a deep-fried breaded pork tenderloin sandwich (not on the menu). They readily worked one up for me, and being true tenderloin and not pork loin, it was one of the best I've had.

The Coffee Cup in Nelsonville serves a decent above average breakfast. Never tried them for lunch or dinner.

Before I hire someon to work in my kitchen, I make them cook one of our hand pattied 1/2 lb, locally raised and butchered, 80-20's. rare, med. rare, medium, med well, and well. the staff eats them on a dibs basis, I can eat rare or well , so the point is, if the burgers aren't perfect, or the potential employee presses down with the spatula on burger, they are told, see ya. That's one of a few hoops they need to be able to jump thru, to be considered for a job here. I have fired on the spot a few who made the cut then decided it's a swell idea to press down on the burger with said spatula, to "help along" the cooking process. People who just don't give a damn, shouldn't be in business, and in most cases usually aren't after word gets out about them. LOL, Greymo!

I remember when my youngest was in the management training course for Max & Erma's restaurants more than 20 years ago, and she had to work every kitchen station. One of the things in her manual -- in all caps, bold letters -- was to never, ever, press down on a hamburger patty when cooking.

Bush's Family Restaurant in Logan gets my . I noticed on the menu they had fried chicken sandwiches and a grilled pork tenderloin entree. Out of curiosity I asked if they could make me a deep-fried breaded pork tenderloin sandwich (not on the menu). They readily worked one up for me, and being true tenderloin and not pork loin, it was one of the best I've had.

The Coffee Cup in Nelsonville serves a decent above average breakfast. Never tried them for lunch or dinner.

Although I'm not a fan of pork tenderloin sandwiches, that one you got from Bush's looks really good. In fact, it might change my mind.

My grandson used to love the chocolate chip pancakes at The Coffee Cup.

Oh ancient one, I like barbeque, and I like hamburgers. But I do not like hamburgers that have been pressed flat with spatulas and cooked till they are ready for a 911 call to the fire department. Five Guys presses and incinerates its burgers.

Oh ancient one, I like barbeque, and I like hamburgers. But I do not like hamburgers that have been pressed flat with spatulas and cooked till they are ready for a 911 call to the fire department. Five Guys presses and incinerates its burgers.

Hi Michael, the first thing I teach my cooks is, let the grill cook the burger, your only hear because it can't flip its self.........................

I usually visit the location by UCF on Alafaya and never had a bad meal. The meat is juicy with a nice smoke flavor and ring, the beans are excellent, service is fast and friendly(usually UCF Students) and the prices are very resonable. I'm no Q expert, but I think Sonny's is good Q.

I don't know how they do it or what their secret is, but Five Guys does produce a juicy, tender hamburger. When it comes to a well-done burger, they do the impossible. As for Sonny's, it's quite good. That's one bbq chain that I have no problem with.

While I have never been there, my husband went to 5 Guys recently and really liked their burger. And I like to think Bob knows his burgers as he knows little out of he way places that serves them.I recently had an experience like Mr. Hoffman at a local restaurant we frequent, and the meat was soooooooo overcooked-hard and no flavor. Didnt complain, just took it home and gave it to Bo, my golden retriever. Now he was pleased!