Archive for September, 2009

After missing out on the postseason for the first time since baseball went on strike, the Yankees started anew by clinching the AL East and homefield advantage in the playoffs. On top of that, thanks to the arbitrary all star game rule (AL won, receives home field in the world series), the Yankees have home field for the entire playoffs.

It’s been a foregone conclusion that they’d make the playoffs this season, but it is still an exciting day to be a Yankee fan, if only for the glorious hive of sexually awkward photos that come from the clubhouse.

I also heard some rumblings in the past week about players celebrating clinching playoff berths. Apparently they didn’t have celebrations “back in the day.” On top of this being not true (players were just as big dicks 40 or 50 years ago as they were today), it’s also terrible logic. Or maybe I’m one of those sassy gen-Xers who doesn’t respect his elders and listens to music too loud. Perhaps we should go back to the days when racism was more prevalent, polio was a legitimate concern, TV was in black and white, and leadoff hitters ran the bases with all the discretion of Kanye West on crank.

That’s a pretty stupid thing to even argue about though since anyone who shares that idea is old, fat, or retarded.

I’m not the only one who thinks the best part about Mike Vick being back on the field is he is playable in Madden again, right?

If I were a prosecuting attorney, judge, or Roger Goodell I am pretty sure this would factor into my decision.

“Those dogs he killed were innocent and helpless.”

“Yeah. But he’s got like 90 speed in Madden.”

“He electrocuted them. He’s a murderer.”

“93 throwing power.”

“Fine. One month.”

He certainly did his time and perhaps it’s just me being naive but he actually does seem sorry. Either way, it would be amusing if the terms of his reinstatement were that whenever his team lost a game or he throws an interception he got waterboarded and electro-shocked.