Why Snow Is Absolutely Racist!

With the UK currently experiencing mass hysteria over the hailstorm of snow and ice currently causing widespread transport disruptions all over the country, there seems to be a frozen ice-covered elephant in the room that has yet to be acknowledged, and that is the real issue that snow is morally, ethically, absolutely, undeniably… racist!

Yes, those white ice crystals you are currently rolling up together to build a life-sized heterosexual white privileged snow man is the representation of the daily struggles that people of colour have to endure and suffer on a regular basis.

Snow isn’t just cute puffs of white cold ice that falls from the sky, it is the symbol of the systemic racism that the UK has been built upon for centuries. The UK currently isn’t just covered in snow, it is covered in a deep-rooted system of oppression that forces deprived black children to build glorified frozen statuses of their white suppressors.

While privileged white children are ushering in their white privilege by throwing white snow at one another in a display of white solidarity, black children from underdeveloped areas are forced to wither emotionless and freezing in the blitzing cold, all the while shivering in zero temperatures and feeling the pain and numbness of white snow on their black, under appreciated skin.

The UK is a society that is built on the spoils of racism, and that continues to benefit from inequality in all its forms. Slavery and colonialism, at the hands of white supremacy has played a huge part in shaping the United Kingdom and much of the west into the racist superpower that it is today. Those black slaves that were huddled together in chains were not in the position to go sledding or stomp through the snow and make footprints, but instead were forced to work in glacial conditions as their white masters roasted nuts by their lavish fireplaces.

In western society, we are all taught that lighter is better, snow is now a representation of this. When the first signs of snow appear, people are instinctively excited, this implies that the colour white instantly makes people happier. Yet, when the snow that has fallen on the roads and pavements becomes black due to footfall, traffic, and pollution, people have a negative preconception.

Black snow is not given the same enthusiasm as white snow and is treated differently, this case study exemplifies racist behavior. The prejudice that black snow receives highlights that we are still living in a society where dark things are devalued and white things are valued.

Don’t even get us started with white Christmas, another symbolic reality of racism, all festively sprinkled with drops of white snow and white privilege while Mariah Carey is ripped off, culturally appropriated, and not receiving the recognition and Christmas royalties she is owed.

In a white privileged society, covered in white sprinkling snow, all the while rooted in white supremacy, those inconsiderate and racist falling white puffs of snow, that fall from the sky and violate black existence is just another piercing reminder that we exist in an oppressed white society that is designed to benefit, prioritize and protect white people before anyone of any other race.

The snow is just the icing on a white privileged cake, but don’t just take it from us that snow is a bona fide racist, there’s a lot of evidence to support the claim that snow is oppressing black people. For example, you’re six times more likely to have a snow ball thrown at you if you are black, people of colour are also more likely to slip on ice as a result.

Our society has structural inequalities that benefit white people over people of colour, the fact that snow is more likely to fall on black people indicates just how racist snow really is. It falls more harshly on people based on the darkness of their skin, so this is definitely racist!

Of course, any logical and remotely sane person knows that snow is not actually racist. Throwing snowballs does not instantly make you a white supremacist, and laying in the snow making snow angels does not make you an enabler of white privilege (though it may make you transphobic, if you assume that your snow angel had a vagina at birth)

We unfortunately live in a society where everyone wants to be offended by something, we are sure that snow is not prone from that offensive outcry. So if you are one of those politically correct, easily offended, and leftard triggered snowflakes that are literally melting while reading this article whilst looking to make any household compliance or act of weather remotely racist… HO! HO! HO! You’ve been had!

Now, let’s all stop being offended by absolutely everything, and just enjoy the snow while we have it. Maybe we can all build some non-binary, feminist snow transsexuals together!