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Life is really a whirlwind, isn’t it? It’s almost 2015 and I feel like nothing has changed and everything is different at the same time.

I go to work every day. I have a job that I have fun going to. It wears me out, but I feel accomplished at the end of the day. A little stress never hurt anyone, right? I also get to see really great people day in and day out, which is kind of cool. I’m like a real adult now. It only took me 27 years.

I recently moved from an apartment to a condo *cue Drake’s “Started from the Bottom”* which is like, really exhausting. Granted it was probably more exhausting for the two men who transported everything I own with their bare hands, but like, I had to unpack it all so…yeah. Our new pad is pretty luxe–we have a dishwasher. Need I say more?

I’m also getting mentally prepared to go on a Hawaiian vacation with my family. I’ve never been to these magical islands that everyone speaks of, but they sound too good to be true. Is the recession still happening? Because my family didn’t get the memo, I guess. I’m not stoked quite yet though, only because I’ve had a rough go with United flights this year and of course I’m booked with my arch rival airline. In a moment of weakness, after my last flight was cancelled, I tweet-yelled at their company. Yikes?

Why do employees have to be nice to customers? It’s so fake. Customers obviously don’t want to be talked to because whenever they enter a store, their eyes dart around the room to avoid the burning gaze of the employees.

I realized today that I’m the worst at pretending I’m interested when I’m really not. I think the people I work with have taken note of this because I get comments like, “So have you worked in merchandise before?” or “Do you want to organize those t-shirts?”

I think my supervisors try to give me jobs where I don’t have to talk to people. Which is fine by me. I got to Windex some shelves today and it was definitely a highlight.

I love talking to my co-workers or should I say my co-volunteer-ers. I actually talk to them for most of my shift. Ignoring customers is a gift that I have. It’s just that whenever I ask someone if they need help finding anything, they say “nope” or “just browsing” or give me an intense death stare. So then I just leave and wander around some more. I don’t understand why no one needs my help, but then they’ll strike up a conversation with one of the other employees.

The thing is though, whenever people do have questions for me, I never know the answer. Unless it’s “How much does this cost?” I’m the champion of finding prices. People are always scared to pick up delicate things. Hell, I’ll juggle it if that’s how you find the price.

Could I force people to buy things if I break them trying to find a price for them?

I have a lot of good conversations with the people that I work with, but I don’t have anyone to make fun of customers with. I noticed this today actually. A guy with a really gross long beard came in the store and I needed to comment on it desperately, but everyone I work with is too nice. So I had to make fun of old long-beard in my head. It turns out that he didn’t speak English so I could have just said how gross his beard was to his face and smiled. But that’s just too mean. I would be like the Vietnamese women who give me pedicures. They say nice things to your face–“Ohh you so tall, you should be model” but then all of a sudden they start laughing and speaking Vietnamese. Borderline abusive behavior.

No one ever warns you about your feet and legs hurting from all that standing. Mine always hurt after I work. I feel like a modern day Cinderella but instead of an evil step-mother and step-sisters I have a supervisor and co-workers. And instead of being forced to clean, I’m forced to talk to random people about Native American art. My life is basically a Disney movie. Actually one of my co-workers told me that I reminded her of Cinderella. Not my top choice of Disney princesses, but I’ll take it.