AF is still MIA. I had another midwife appointment today, and another BFN.

I actually didn’t think she would do another test so I emptied my bladder before they called me back. The nurse did my BP then put me in an exam room. The U/S machine was on and still had the screen shot of the last patients baby. It was little, only 8w 5d. I didn’t cry, so that is good.

My midwife came in and we talked about my cycles since March. She wants me to up my Met to help with the weight loss. Then she said she wanted to do a repeat test. I told her I had already gone and she said they only needed a few drops. I went and sat in the bathroom and finally got out a few drops LOL.

I stood there while the nurse did the test. She drove me nuts. She kept glancing at it and walking away. Finally after a few minutes she picked it up and tilted the test and squinted at it. I was gonna scream! I did not need her analyzing the test like that. I do that enough on my own. Finally she said that it looked negative and so I walked to the check out counter. My midwife met me there and said that yes it was negative. She wants me to take provera again to induce AF, but I don’t want too.

AF is still MIA. I had another midwife appointment today, and another BFN.
I actually didn’t think she would do another test so I emptied my bladder before they called me back. The nurse did my BP then put me in an exam room. The U/S machine was on and still had the screen shot of the last patients baby. It was little, only 8w 5d. I didn’t cry, so that is good.
My midwife came in and we talked about my cycles since March. She wants me to up my Met to help with the weight loss. Then she said she wanted to do a repeat test. I told her I had already gone and she said they only needed a few drops. I went and sat in the bathroom and finally got out a few drops LOL.
I stood there while the nurse did the test. She drove me nuts. She kept glancing at it and walking away. Finally after a few minutes she picked it up and tilted the test and squinted at it. I was gonna scream! I did not need her analyzing the test like that. I do that enough on my own. Finally she said that it looked negative and so I walked to the check out counter. My midwife met me there and said that yes it was negative. She wants me to take provera again to induce AF, but I don’t want too.

Since we are stopping treatment right now I don’t really see any need to make her come. It is too hot to deal with provera side effects and then deal with AF.

I have been a part of a GREAT photography site for a while, Clickin’ Moms. Yes, it is a membership only site/forum. I originally signed up during a promotion and got a discount. I now pay the monthly subscription and I don’t even miss the $8 I have learned SO much from the women on that site. I am just a hobbyist, but I want to take good photos of my family and friends. I think my photos and post processing have improved since I joined, but that is just my opinion. I did buy my DSLR from a member on that site and saved myself about $200! That alone is savings enough for me.

Yesterday they started a fun new contest for the month of July! It is a photo scavenger hunt! I printed out my list of items and it is about 4 pages long right now, they will be adding items during the month as well. It isn’t too late to join in the fun because you have all month to take your photos and post them. I can’t wait to get out and start snapping photos with my sign.

I will be posting some of my pictures from the Scavenger Hunt during the month. I hope you will join me!

Born in Dallas, TX on June 7, 2010, the first child of Megan and Brent Marshall, Michael Cohen Marshall came into the world at 7 lbs. 6 oz., with a hearty cry and a congenital heart condition. He was known as The Mighty Cohen in his short little life, for he endured multiple surgeries and procedures. For twelve days Cohen fought with the heart of a lion, but on June 18, 2010, his little body could not match his fighting spirit. He was delivered into the Kingdom of Heaven at 8:35pm in his parents’ arms. He was loved and adored by his parents, their families and friends every day of his life. Cohen touched thousands of lives with his story. The world came to know him through Megan’s blog and many felt they knew him long before he was even born. Sometimes the smallest feet leave the biggest footprints in this world and Cohen has left a lasting impression on us all; he was truly an amazing little boy. His parents want to thank all of his supporters, doctors, nurses and prayer warriors for their care, concern, support and prayers. Cohen is survived by his parents: Megan & Brent Marshall; Grandparents; Aunts; Uncles; and countless cousins, family and friends. In lieu of flowers, contributions can be made to the Cohen Marshall Memorial Trust.

How: Bloggers participating will post the Cohen banner (below) or simply post Cohen’s name in large letters on their blog.

Why: July 1st Megan and Brent will be holding Cohen’s memorial service. The moment of silence is an opportunity for Megan’s blog community to stand behind her and support her on this difficult day. Linking up will give Megan a chance to see the support at a glance.

I haven’t POAS since Friday … today is 15 dpo if I ovulated when I think I did (which I based on EWCM). I hate that because I have PCOS being “late” doesn’t mean anything, it could just mean that I didn’t ovulate. My only hope is that I did take the femara this month so I have a good chance the EWCM was ovulation.

AF still hasn’t shown up and I don’t feel any “signs” of her as well. I am very tired. I originally thought it was from a full weekend of activity, but now I am starting to wonder a little. I have also been queasy the last 3 days. Not throwing up, just an unsettled kind of feeling. The fertility friend pregnancy predictor gives me 68pts out of 100pts.

I hate to get my hopes up and get another BFN. This is our last month of “TRYING”. We have a big work convention next year that I need to attend, and being pregnant wouldn’t work (having a baby would actually be easier). So this really feels like now or never (or maybe much later).

I don’t think I could emotionally take a BFN right now, after the announcement my “co-worker” made on Sunday. She and I would have about the same due date. Her pregnancy would be a forever reminder of our last cycle that didn’t work. I hate feeling like the one left behind.

On Friday my appt had to be rescheduled because of a surgery. I decided to test at home with the 1 FRER that I had under the counter. Friday was 11 dpo. It was negative.

I haven’t retested yet, it is day 27 and AF still isn’t here. BUT…

This morning at church one of my co-workers announced that she POAS yesterday and she is pregnant.

She just got her IUD out 2 months ago. This was her first cycle since the IUD removal.

Of course she has no idea that we are TTC and having infertility problems …. but really did she have to talk about it NON STOP for the hour we worked together. I started crying the minute she left the room. I just couldn’t hold it in any longer. Every comment she made was like a stab in my heart.

THEN, I had to go help throw the baby shower for one of my good friends. At least there was only 2 other pregnant guests at the party. I had prepared for the party emotionally, but with the blow in the morning I was much more sensitive.

I held it together till the end of the shower then has a little cry with two of my girls. It helped … as did the slice of Chocolate Fudge cake!

I have decided two things:
#1 – If AF stays away, I am not retesting till my appointment on Friday.

#2 – This will be our last cycle with MA. I will continue on the Met, but I will not be taking Femara or Provera anymore.

This morning my midwife’s PA called me back. I hate talking to this PA. I feel like she never knows who I am when I call and she always sounds confused. I usually end up needing to talk to my midwife anyway because the PA never knows the answers to my questions.

My midwife said the little amount of blood/spotting probably isn’t my period, since it isn’t a full flow yet. She still wants to see me on Friday for my appointment. She said she would run a pregnancy test and go from there. If I am still spotting then she probably won’t be able to do the pap. Hopefully the test will be a BFP, but I am trying not to get my hopes up.