Definition of a Socialist (spoken to the tune of “You Might Be A Redneck”)

OK… I can’t take credit for this. Credit goes to Wayne Allyn Root – The Washington Times 6:17 p.m., Monday, April 4, 2011 MugshotIllustration. Wayne Allyn Root is a former Libertarian vice-presidential nominee and author of “The Conscience of a Libertarian: Empowering the Citizen Revolution with God, Guns, Gold, Gambling & Tax Cuts” (Wiley, 2009). He writes at RootforAmerica.com.

Socialist Obama by Alexander Hunter for The Washington Times: “I ought to know. I was Mr. Obama’s college classmate at Columbia University Class of ’83. Our college was dominated by socialists and Marxists who hated capitalism and America.” Let’s look at the facts up close and personal – Jeff Foxworthy style. Mr. Foxworthy leaves no doubt as to “who might be a redneck.” Let me leave no doubt that “Obama might be a socialist.”

If you believe it’s greedy for American taxpayers to want to keep more of their own money, but not greedy to demand that government confiscate other people’s money and redistribute it to those who didn’t earn it, you might be a socialist.

If you don’t understand (or care) that babies scream and cry the moment they are born because they are already heavily in debt and facing a bleak future and lower quality of life, you might be a socialist.

If the only thing you, your Cabinet members and czars know about business is from books read at Harvard Law School, written by Karl Marx, you might be a socialist.

If you want to allocate hundreds of millions to the Internal Revenue Service to go after tax cheats when your administration is filled with tax cheats, including the guy in charge of America’s taxes (Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner), you might be a socialist.

If you think the “White House Party Crashers” are terrible people because they came to a state dinner without an invitation, but you want to give instant citizenship to 12 million uninvited “illegal aliens” who crashed our border, you might be a socialist.

If you think anyone who doesn’t read the New York Times is dumb and ignorant, but think it’s OK for Congress to pass a 2,000-page health care bill without reading it, you might be a socialist.

If you think Times’ columnist Paul Krugman deserves a Nobel Prize for economics and you deserve a Nobel Peace Prize even though neither of you created a job or ended a war, you might be a socialist.

If you think it’s OK to meet with dictators, bullies, tyrants and terrorist sympathizers without preconditions, but have no interest in meeting with conservatives in Congress, you might be a socialist.

If you think it’s OK to give constitutional rights to terrorists, but not to the bondholders, shareholders and secured creditors of GM and Chrysler when you stole the company from them and awarded it to the unions that bankrupted them, you might be a socialist.

If you think Raul Castro, the leader of communist Cuba, in firing 500,000 government employees by telling them “government can no longer employ or take care of everyone” isn’t a hint that perhaps America needs to reduce our obscene number of government employees, you might be a socialist.

If you think George W. Bush’s spending was an embarrassment, a travesty and a sin, but you have no problem increasing the national debt more in one day than the entire 2007 budget deficit, you might be a socialist.

If you think Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar of “The View” represent the moderate wing of the Democratic Party, you might be a socialist.

If you think it was OK for Nancy Pelosi to pass Obamacare so she could benefit from the special clause on Page 1,890 that gives free facelifts to public officials, you might be a socialist (just kidding!).

If you want to convert America to a “green economy” to create jobs, after Spain has proven the green economy destroys three times as many jobs as it creates and leads to 20 percent unemployment, you might be a socialist.

If you think denying someone a job, government contract or entry to college because of the color of their skin is immoral and criminal, but giving someone a job, government contract or college admission because of a different color of their skin is “social justice”, you might be a socialist.

If you want to abandon capitalism and put the economy under the control of government bureaucrats, even though virtually every city, county, state and federal department run by these same bureaucrats is insolvent and bankrupt, you might be a socialist.

If you favor taxpayer bailouts of companies who give you campaign contributions and hide it by refusing to disclose who got the money or how much, and you demand your cronies in Congress pass the 1,000-plus page bailout bill without reading it, you might be a socialist.

If you think spending an extra trillion dollars will save money on health care and reduce the deficit, you might be a socialist (and possibly learned math in public school).

If your solution to Medicare driving the country into bankruptcy is expanding it to everyone with Obamacare, you might be a socialist. If want to lower the cost of health care but left out tort reform, you might be a socialist lawyer.

If you’re a Columbia University professor and gave a student named Barack Obama an A in economics, you are definitely a socialist (and a moron – addition and emphasis mine).

And finally, in the eighth year of the Obama presidency, if Bangladesh is hosting “Aid America” concerts or you’re standing in line for toilet paper, you have a socialist president.

It’s time to stand up and loudly call a socialist… a socialist!

Of course, that’s just One Man’s View. YMMV, and you’re welcome to comment here.