Apparently there are people out there who think this newly identified species of monkey looks like Jake Gyllenhaal. I do not see it and, frankly, am shocked that no one is comparing it to that ruined painting of Jesus. Love that monkey, though. -Hypervocal

Ellen Degeneres’ company sold a single-camera pilot to NBC about a single woman who was confident before but now she’s afraid she’s going to die alone again or something. #birdie4thewoman-Deadline

Look at this scary PSA about parents who drink and are drunk around their kids. Guys! Let’s not drink and be drunk around our kids, it seems like a nightmare! -TheDailyWhat

Here’s some devastating news for famous-corgi fans everywhere — the Royal corgi who appeared in the James Bond sketch during the London Olympics Opening Ceremony passed away earlier this week. Noooo! -WarmingGlow

FilmDrunk have gotten together the eight creepiest roles of Philip Seymour Hoffman’s career. It must have been difficult narrowing down every role he has ever had to only eight. -FilmDrunk

Want to know a bunch of stuff about Larry David’s upcoming HBO movie? You should! It’s going to be great, I bet! Or at least good! -SlashFilm

Speaking of HBO, have you guys watched the trailer yet for HBO’s Alfred Hitchcock movie? You should do that, too! And then read The Week’s talking points about it. And then talk about it with a friend. -TheWeek