Best Friends

When I was pregnant with Oliver, I was a little worried about how Isabel would take to a new sibling. She was – still is – very attached as a child and I thought that having to share me, especially after she weaned unexpectedly during my pregnancy, would be really hard on her. (I’ve probably mentioned this before; I struggle to remember my own name some days.)

Anyway, despite my fears, Isabel and Oliver have got on well right from the start. I have some lovely photos of her cradling him as a baby, and memories of her rushing to soothe him if he so much as murmured. I couldn’t have asked for them to hit it off better.

And yet somehow, despite this, this past couple of weeks they’ve become even closer. I don’t know whether it’s Oliver’s mobility and desire to get into everything Izz is doing, or just the sheer joy he gets from being around her, but they’ve become virtually inseparable. He’s the first thing she mentions when she wakes, she follows him round and helps him reach things, she talks about him at nursery and cuddles him if he “bumps his noggin'”.

teaching Oliver to swim

I don’t know what I did right (assuming this was anything to do with me at all, probably not!) but long may it continue, because watching this brother-sister relationship blossom is one of the best parts of my day.

My siblings and I went through a lot of phases though. It was like clingy siblings, two-vs-one, one-vs-two, hate each other, clingy then now the more mature we love each other but give each other space and still argue from time to time.

Genuine question – how do you feel about the fact that one day your children will realise their childhood has been documented on the internet? As a private person I would’ve been very unhappy if my parents had done this. In my (admittedly quite paranoid) view I am wary about the tendency people have to put everything on FB etc as there is no precedent – we have no way of knowing how the digital choices we make today will impact on our future. When they reach the age of self awareness how will you explain your choices?

I’m guessing you’re new around here, because in the grand scheme of things I talk about my children very little on my blog.

Anyway, to answer your question: probably the same way that I felt when I realised my mother shared every aspect of my childhood with her family, and my dad’s family, and family friends who may have then passed it on to their friends and friends of friends. That in a way I am just part of her stories.

People have shared the intimacies of their daily life for centuries in all sorts of media, it just so happens that the Internet makes it much easier to access.

I don’t line my facebook wall with baby photos. I don’t instagram every waking moment to share on twitter. What you and others see is a tiny snapshot of what we get up to. & I’m ok with that :)

We all make our choices. I share pictures, but no names. I’m careful not to indentify where we are too closely, and as my children have got older, I’ve discussed more and more of what I blog and the older two both blog for themselves too. I’m aware my blog isn’t nearly as interesting as it was in the early days because of increased reticence, but that’s the way it goes.

You were incredibly polite to someone whose name implies they are going around stirring – or is it someone you know?

I genuinely am not trolling. It’s just something I have thought about a lot since having a child – and having to deal with a lot of flack from relatives about not putting pictures up on FB.

I take your point about family stories being shared for centuries etc. But I think it’s different now, more concrete. Choices we make are now set in stone – and I just worry where all this info will end up. (I told you I’m paranoid and have read 1984 one too many times).

I am a casual blog reader, stumbled upon you searching some info on breastfeeding.

As a random note to add to this… I’m friends with Jem/you (depending on who is reading this) on FB and I’ve obviously seen Izzy IRL but beyond that… nada. This is maybe the first picture of Izzy I’ve seen in a year (and it’s blurred) and I couldn’t pick Olly out of a crowd (uh, except for the fact that he’d probably be attached to Jem or Karl). And most people don’t even know what Jem looks like. So, I’d say their identities are pretty well protected and even the stories about them are pretty generalized. Which is good, because… yeah I wouldn’t like my embarrassing photos and stories all over the Internet either. THAT SAID, my mom has posted photos of my first bath while still in the hospital on Facebook, so I guess we don’t always get what we want in life. ;)