How to Give Feeding Advice to a Friend

I am constantly receiving emails from our community (parents,
friends, baby product inventors, therapists, etc.) asking how to give feeding
advice to a friend. Here are a few examples of the questions I receive:

My friend’s toddler is a severe picky eater. I give her advice
and suggestions but she is not willing to hear what I have to say. I can tell
that she is starting to avoid me at our neighborhood block parties and play
dates. What do I do?

I feel like my sister-in-law is the cause of my nephew’s eating
issues. She shovels food in his mouth and at times even holds his hands down to
shovel more food in. He hates mealtime and does not want to come to the table. What
do I say?

My friend’s child only eats applesauce and a few other foods. He
eats the exact same thing every day. I’m worried that if I talk
to her about it she will be offended. What do I do?

Telling a friend that their child might be more than an
average picky eater or that their mealtime style could be adjusted can be
devastating news (even if they might suspect it). I have heard countless
stories of destroyed friendships due to a friend being too involved and/or
opinionated in their child’s eating habits. Bottom line? Don’t give feeding
advice. Let a professional handle that. But here are a few tips you CAN do to
make your conversation with your friend more successful.

Refer: When I explain to families about
the feeding therapy I provide, I use the analogy
of a rainbow spectrum. I treat a spectrum of feeding disorders and challenges.

On one side of the spectrum rainbow, I see the ‘typical picky eater’
that might need a therapy session (or two) to help them overcome an eating
hurdle.

In the middle of the spectrum, I treat a child (and family) that
is struggling at EVERY meal with food refusals, mealtime stress and/or
selective eating.

At the end of the spectrum, I help children with extreme food aversion
(extreme picky eating) or kiddos with medical challenges (e.g., autism) and even children that require tube feedings while they
learn how to eat successfully.

Knowing that there is medical help can ease a parent’s
anxiety. Being aware of the spectrum of feeding issues can help you refer your
friend to a qualified Speech Language Pathologist or Occupational Therapist
that specializes in feeding therapy.

Listen: The most important thing you
can do for this friend (and keep your friendship) is to listen. This is hard
when you REALLY want to help. Just know that feeding issues will eventually
rise to the surface and parents will ultimately seek medical help. I have had so many families that ignored the signs for years
(hoping they would grow out of it), then finally started feeding therapy when
their child was in their teens! Of course, there would have been better
outcomes if their child received treatment when they were 3-years-old, but
progress (and the love for food) can still be made!

If You Just
HAVE to Share: If you feel like you can’t
just listen and you HAVE to express
your concerns, here are a few additional tips.

Be Positive: Share your concerns in an
upbeat, non-judgmental way and don’t give advice.

Keep it Short: Make your comment short and
sweet. If you friend wants to talk more about this topic he/she will let you
know.

Let it Go: Share your concern ONE time and
let it go! Don’t bring it up again unless your friend asks you about it.

Offer Resources: Here is an example for you
to try: “Sally, I’ve heard you express your concerns about Johnny’s food
aversions. I want you to know that I’m here to listen and if you ever want
professional help I know a Speech Language Pathologist that specializes in feeding
therapy. Let me know if you want her information.”

I hope these tips will help ease the discomfort of an
awkward conversation and help a kiddo in your life! Have you been in this situation
with a friend? How did your conversation go? What tips could you share with our
community? #ezpzfun #feedingtherapy

Photo Credit: Paul Joyner Photo

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Dawn Winkelmann, M.S, CCC-SLP

Speech Language Pathologist & Feeding Specialist for ezpz

Dawn Winkelmann, a.k.a “Ms. Dawn”, has treated thousands of kids across the globe by helping families overcome picky eating stages and food refusals, while adding new foods into their diet. Her high success rate is attributed to Ms. Dawn bringing her education, experience, sense of humor and her favorite feeding products to the family dinner table.

You will find Ms. Dawn’s expert feeding advice to be positive and fun for the entire family! She adapts complicated feeding/swallowing research and makes it practical and easy for parents! Get ready to learn the science behind your favorite feeding products and ways to bring happy family mealtimes back!