As regular readers know, we at the SPB are tireless in our pursuit of culinary excellence, and many of you share our penchant for gourmet grub, including the pinnacle of pork perfection that is the bacon sarnie.
Last year, you responded magnificently to our invitation to submit nominations for the ultimate sliced-pig-in-bread …

COMMENTS

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I used to be a strong, milk and 3 type of guy and only stumbled upon the joy of pure unadulterated tea on a visit to a foreign country. I was doing well with my pathetic attempt to speak their language until I needed to ask for milk and sugar. Now, it was only stubbornness that prevented me from asking in English, they would of understood perfectly.

Subtle

If the infusion with tea is light (rather than very dark) you can discern real flavour and really distinguish the subtlety of the brew if you do not add milk I too used to drink good quality tea with milk and saw the light when I went abroad (and no milk was on offer).

Ooh...

A serious bone of contention for British IT staff, this. The 'IT' half suggests coffee, but the Britishness obviously is tea. In most places I've worked, there have been some 'ambidextrous' (seriously confused, I call them) types who like both in equal measure. For me, it's coffee all the way. Strong, with a splash of milk and no sugar. At home it's Columbian roast from the coffee maker with the bacon sarnie, but at work it's the standard industrial-sized tubs of Nescafe, as it's free.

Re: It's a very personal thing...

...But my own preference is Earl Grey left to stew until it's almost cold. No milk or sugar. Great in a hot climate."

I wouldn't leave Earl Grey to go cold deliberately, but it definitely benefits from not being rank when left.

I also wouldn't add milk or sugar to any other tea as a general rule - it seems to me that the desire to do so stems either from inappropriate selection (I've normally got two or three varieties on the go at any time) or poor preparation.

WTF?

Re: WTF?

options

I'm very much a mash-a-bag-in-a-cup-to-get-it-fairly-strong-and-add-a-splash-of-milk kind of guy, and would never contemplate sugar in a normal cuppa, but there cases where I'll allow sugar near my beverage...

Arabic style tea with a fair bit of sugar - it's a different drink altogether to the British cuppa

The faitigue-defying nectar that is cofftea (mug of boiling water + 2 teabags, stew to oblivion and add 2 or 3 spoonfuls of good instant coffee...add milk or, ideally, powdered creamer like CoffeeMate). 2 or 3 spoonfuls of sugar are essential for a brew like this.

Re: options

Re: options

Mostly_Harmless,

Infidel! Shame on you!

As chief cook and bottle-washer of the Tea Taleban, I urge all right thinking persons to shun this individual, a corrupter of the morals of society with his capitalist running-dog abomination. Cofftea! I spit upon this vile perversion. May the great teapot in the sky pour boiling water upon him until he's really sorry!

I used to get this from the vending machine at work. The spout of the machine was lowered into the cup, so the tea ended up coffee flavoured, or worse, sometimes cuppa-soup flavoured! Hence I decided to drink only the 'mocha' (hot choccy and coffee thing). That was supposed to taste like that, so as long as you didn't go straight after someone who'd had soup, you got the taste you were expecting.

@I ain't Spartacus

True Cofftea is not merely coffee-flavoured tea or coffee-flavoured tea...it's a beverage all of it's own, and needs to be brewed/concocted as such to be truly appreciated.

My worst vending machine incident was when I accidentally got a 50:50 mix of hot chocolate and chicken soup. Truly vile....although I was several sips in before I realised my mistake, such was the dire nature of "normal" drinks from that machine

Re: @Mostly_Harmless

Arabic style tea with a fair bit of sugar - yes, i see that as a great thing in hot climates, many Egyptians have tried to convince me to buy some dumb alabaster tut over several syrupy teas. Not my tea of choice, but great when been conned to buy a statue that you never ever wanted.

Re: @I ain't Spartacus

Mostly Harmless,

People complain about low wages, off-shoring, poor management, and a little bit of harmless torture. And yet workplace vending machines are allowed to continue in this state! Clearly revolution is the only answer.

The psychological damage done to you by that chocolate chicken soup is profound, as has caused you to countenance this cofftea abomination. It'll probably require years of therapy to cure you. What's worse is that we've grown to accept this awfulness as a normal part of the working life. Hence you taking a while to realise that your chocolate was worse than the normal level of awful.

If, however, we lynched a few facilities managers we would have drinkable coffee, tea and chocolate in offices throughout the land in no time flat. Productivity would increase, the country would rise out of its slump and into the kind of levels of economic growth to make China jealous. Then we'd have sufficient spare tax income to properly fund our armed forces and could use them productively, to impose acceptable global standards of tea availability at gunpoint. It's the only language Johnny-Foreigner understands!

Re: options

In a state of dazed exhaustion the other week I went to make myself a rare cup of coffee ("decent" coffee but reserved only for emergency use). It was only when I started drinking it that I realised something was wrong... I'd gone and put tea leaves into the cafetiere! The taste was truly sickening, I still haven't quite got over it yet. Every time I go to make a pot of tea now (Yorkshire or Co-Op 99 loose naturally) I have to double check I have the right tin, in case an even worse mix-up occur...

Re: options

Re: options

coffee and tea isn't actually that bad... if you have the right tea and right coffee.... needs to be chai tea and proper expresso... very popular in (the 'home' of coffee) Ethiopia - they call it "chai spris"

A former colleague once told me how his Dad (formerly of the Royal Army Medical Corps) and his mates made tea. Take one billy can, lay 12 tea bags in bottom of can and fill almost to top with water. Boil for 20 minutes. Pour in 1 tin of condensed milk. Serve.

Re: NAAFI break

Tea bags? I remember it, in the middle of a cold and windy Salisbury Plain, on army exercises with cadets and also a "sea day" with the RN: spoon large amounts of loose, strong tea into a large container of boiling water, stir and leave to brew/simmer for a longish time. Add condensed milk and sugar to the tea maker's taste. Always tasted good, even if now I drink it pure, black, unsweetened.

Actually, in HK, a favourite with Chinese colleagues on boats was Twinings loose tea with condensed milk, usually the sweetened kind.

Re: No Milk No Sugar

Re: No Milk No Sugar

Whoops. Forgot mine.

Loose Red Label tea (teabags are for girlies). Very little skimmed milk, no sugar, strong as hell. And in a bloody big mug (in my case with a picture of Dennis the Menace on it). I'm so damned butch - but then I do live oop North.

Re: Assam only

My perfect tea is also Assam:

0) Get a large mug and I do mean a large mug. I like my tea delicious and in gargantuan quantities. Tea cups are for folks that want to sample different blends of tea, rather than brewing a drink. Besides, Assam is the way to go. Samples are unnecessary.

1) Boil a kettle and make sure the water is *actually* boiling, not lukewarm.

2) Add *two* bags of Twining's Assam tea to the mug. The double bag ensures a rich strong flavour permeates all through the water but more importantly does so *rapidly*, so that you don't lose heat while waiting for the flavour to build in strength.

3) Add the boiling water to the mug. Ensure space for a small amount of milk.

4) Add one or two teaspoons of sugar depending on the gargantuan-ness of the mug.

5) Stir the tea bags in a circular motion at first and once the water starts to darken, then squeeze the tea bags with the spoon, probably no longer than about 30/45 seconds worth of stirring.

6) Remove the bags and add the milk. Ideal colour should be a slightly-pale tan. If it's starting to look even remotely white, you've screwed up.

7) Sit at desk and enjoy. Feel free to make contented slurping sounds if it will irritate the asshole working next to you.

Pro tip: Never, ever add the milk before the boiling water. If you do this, it causes the tea leaves in the bag to clump together and you lose most of the flavour. Don't ask me why it does this, it just does.

Re: Assam only

Although Assam is the king of tea and should always be the one to go for - if you can't get it (i.e. live somewhere outside the UK and India) then Ceylon would be my second suggestion. Not as good as Assam but OK.