ABOUT THIS ALBUM

What can I,Art Paul Schlosser say about me ? I am who I am so the songs speak more than I can explain. listen to my songs and see what you think and if you like it buy it. Here are some of the lyrics:

1.A Poet I Am

A poet I am but more
For my imagination shows the door
People can see many things
When they float in their mind with wings

Imagine yourself
Poor or with wealth
Near or far
A mountain or a star

I am a clown
A painter
A mayor of a town
Or a deer

Imagine yourself walking in space
Now this can be any kind of place
For you are the director
As well as the actor

2. Colors By Voice

Hi, I’m Art Paul and this here tape or CD or whatever we’re doing here I thought I would do something interesting now.
I going to do something called Color’s by voice.
Here we go.
No just imagine if you can’t see what color looks like what it would be if I describe it as voices.

I think yellow-yellow would sound like this
And orange-orange would be kind of like this
And red-red would be like this
It would be kind like this you know
And brown-brown would be like this
Or black, black, black
Purple, purple, purple
And then gray would be more like this
And then blue-blue would be more like this
Well anyways just imagine

3. Our Roof Leaks

Our roof leaks
Our roof leaks
Our roof leaks
Our roof leaks

I didn’t mean to take a shower, I guess I had no choice

Our roof leaks
Our roof leaks
Our roof leaks
Our roof leaks

The cat is learning how to swim

Our roof leaks
Our roof leaks
Our roof leaks
Our roof leaks

Last night we had a terrible rainstorm today it’s in the house

Our roof leaks
Our roof leaks
Our roof leaks
Our roof leaks

Drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip

Our roof leaks
Our roof leaks
Our roof leaks
Our roof leaks

We’re sailing on the kitchen table through the river in the living room

Our roof leaks
Our roof leaks
Our roof leaks
Our roof leaks

I didn’t mean to take a bath, I guess I had no choice

Our roof leaks
Our roof leaks
Our roof leaks
Our roof leaks

4. Just For You

I wrote this one kind of slow
I know what your saying you’ve got to go
But many who will not listen
Will miss out on my foolish wisdom

But maybe you’re better off anyway
I couldn’t think of very much to say
I was just sitting around with doing nothing
When I thought I write a song to sing

It’s not about Politics or Crime
But I thought I’d like to make it rhyme
So now what your saying is what is it about
I haven’t quit figured that out

But if you think this is weird
That I write songs kind of queer
It’s not because I do drugs
Or that I take beer
And I’m not related to your friend Doug
And I don’t wear gigantic mirrors
It’s just because I had nothing else to do
But to write a song just for you

Now stand up high and still eat a meal
Jump up and do a cart wheel
Said if you like what you hear
Give a loud clap and a loud cheer
Said if you like what you hear
Give a loud clap and loud cheer
Said if you like what you hear
Give a loud clap
Okay don’t clap
The Best of Art Paul Schlosser(The Sequel)

5. Interesting # II

There are no lyrics to this song.

6. A Bit of Logic

Today and only today
Get this saw and will also send you these 3 other items you don’t want
Lacking the ability to be wise
Yes my name is not wise
I’m Sam Foolish and I have been standing in rain without a raincoat or umbrella
Meanwhile back at the ranch
3 headed cat claw eating monster was trying to chew Buffy’s nails
Uh And so I say if we turn the left knob a little to the right
But then again some people are allergic to pepper
60 years ago some lady walked into a church near Belleville
So never eat poison ivy in a Cadillac Rolls Royces car
This and all other spaceships
Was brought to you by CIA spying foundation
Where spying is more than just a way of life
Sincerely your friend Pippy

Some people ask me
Why I ever wrote this song
In the very first place
What is the real reason

I don’t really think I know
I don’t really think I know
I don’t really think I know
I don’t really think I know

Maybe I was
Just having fun
Just fooling around
Just having a good time

I don’t really think I know
I don’t really think I know
I don’t really think I know
I don’t really think I know

8
7
6
5
4 3 2 1
4 3 2 1
4 3 2 1
4 3 2 1

That was the take off of Apolla 99

9

8. European Girls

Is this a dream
Am I for real
Something strange is happening
Is this a seal

European Girls
European Girls

There's cow bells on the ceiling
There's cowbells on the ceiling
Have I told you yet ?
There's cow bells on the ceiling

European Girls
European Girls

Have you tried this new gum
It taste real yucky
All your friends chewing it
Don't you want to conform ?

European Girls
European Girls

There's cow bells on the ceiling
There's cowbells on the ceiling
Get those cow bells off
I don't want them on my ceiling

European Girls
European Girls

What's the meaning to the chorus
Have I got foriegn girl firends
No there's no meaning to it at all
I just made up out of my head

European Girls
European Girls

9. Kiss Me Darling (I’ve Got Aids)

Kiss me darling I’ve got aids
I never intended to die this way
Just one of things that happens in life
You make a decision it don’t turn right
I don’t what was going through my head
If I had it all to do again maybe I would still do it again
She was so pretty that’s for sure
And how could I say no to her
Kiss me darling or at least hold my hand
Help me to cope, understand
I made a mistake but I still need love
Forgive darling and pray to God
For others to count the cost of their life
And not throw it a way for a thrill over night

10. Your Love and Friendship

Don’t think it’s your beauty
When it’s Your Love and Friendship
Don’t capture me with your beauty
Without offering Your Love and Friendship
I want Your Love and Friendship
I need Your Love and Friendship
If your beautiful I’m not quite sure
But that isn’t even why I came here
I came here for Your Love and Friendship

11. We Don’t Have To Have Sex

We don't have to have sex
Just to be friends
We don't have to have sex
Come on listen
We don't have to have sex
To have a good conversation
We don't have to have sex
We don't have to have sex
We don't have to have sex
But we can have fun

We don't have to have sex
Just to be friends
We don't have to have sex
Come on listen
We don't have to have sex
To have a good conversation
We don't have to have sex
We don't have to have sex
We don't have to have sex
But we can have fun
Just cause I'm good looking
Don't mean I'm not smar
Just cause I'm good looking
A huh A huh

12. At The 400 Bar

Okay this is dedicated to s certain people in Minneapolis.
I might mention Walt Mink and some other people especially this one person that I met there at the 400 Bar. I won’t mention her name I think she knows who she is and ah this is just some song I wrote afterwords and stuff.

We dance at the 400 bar and I bought you a coke a cola
Light were like sparkling stars and everyone wanted to know you
Hope you didn’t forget me cause I could never forget you
Hope you can only say that I could never forget you

There was music in the air and magic in the moment
If I told you that I care could you say you know it
Hope you didn’t forget me cause I could never forget you
Hope you can only say that I could never forget you

You sent me this funny looking card with cats all over it
With love and a kiss you did sign it
Hope you didn’t forget me cause I could never forget you
Hope you can only say that I could never forget you

13. Detox

You do to much drinking
Then your life starts stinking
Maybe you should start thinking
What ! You want to end up in detox the rest of your life ?
What ! You don’t want to end up in detox the rest of your life ?
Do you want to end up in detox the rest of your life ?

You say it’s cool but you fail to see
That once your in jail it ain’t that easy
And when your parents have to bail you out they say:
What ! You want to end up in detox the rest of your life ?
What ! You don’t want to end up in detox the rest of your life ?
Do you want to end up in detox the rest of your life ?

You say all your friends are doing it
And it’s crummy your willing to admit
But you know your just trying to fit in you know get stuck
What ! You want to end up in detox the rest of your life ?
What ! You don’t want to end up in detox the rest of your life ?
Do you want to end up in detox the rest of your life ?

14. You Gotta Be Cracked

You got to be cracked if you want to try crack
Cause once you try it-it'll be hard to come back
addiction will get you and that's a fact
You got to be cracked if you want to try crack

Crack will get you like a poison snake that bites
And once it bites you-you'll have to fight
Cause if it can it will take your life
Crack will cut you like a very sharp knife

You got to be cracked if you want to try crack
Cause once you try it-it'll be hard to come back
addiction will get you and that's a fact
You got to be cracked if you want to try crack

You know there was once a famous high school basketball star
It look like he was determined,he might go far
But one day he thought he'd try some crack
He's dead and that's that
You got to be cracked if you want to try crack

15. Confessions of a Pinball Adict

Confessions of a pinball game addict:

Pinball was a joy and a pleasure when I first started playing it
I would play one or two games on a Friday or Saturday
One time I didn’t play
Then I played 5 games to get the highest score
But mostly it was just the thing to do once in a while
Just for fun

Then later
About a year or two
My favorite nerf ball team lost the championship
What a drag
I was a real bum out
So being game gamer in sports and stuff
Oh
Being bum out
I went to cadilac gamer sports

Then there was the time my girlfriend left me

And after a while I found myself playing pinball almost everyday
I even invited my friends and relatives
But the way
By the way
By the way I gotta go and play again
Do you have a quarter
I need one now
I’m going insane

Let’s all get down at the Non-Alcoholic Dance floor
All your friends are there and they greet you when they come into the door
They got beautiful lights and wonderful music
And once you now that we’re not drinking we don’t have to worry about getting sick
And let’s all get down at the Non-Alcoholic Dance floor

Said let’s all get down at the Non-Alcoholic Dance floor
Who says in order to have fun you have to drink some liquor
They’ve got nice food and soda pop too
And over in the corner there’s a girl that wants to dance with you
Let’s all get down at the Non-Alcoholic Dance floor

16. Non-Alcoholic Dance Floor

This is really the song High Low and the song Non-Alcoholic Dance Floor is part of Confessions of a Pinball adist which is the tract before this one.

This is the highest note on my guitar
This is the lowest note on my guitar
This is the highest note on my guitar
This is the lowest note on my guitar
High-Low
High-Low
High-low

17. Time Goes So Fast

Time goes so fast
Time goes so fast
It was midnight
But now it's dawn

Time goes on past
It does not last
Before you know it
Time is gone

You were so young
When life begun
But now it seems
You are old

And the song you sung
The song you sung
Is no more
A story told

Time goes so fast
Time goes so fast
It was midnight
But now it's dawn

Time goes on past
It does not last
Before you know it
Time is gone

Could it be that
Could it be that
Life in time
Does change

And the cat
And the rat
Are dead now
Does this seem strange

Time goes so fast
Time goes so fast
It was midnight
But now it's dawn

Time goes on past
It does not last
Before you know it
Time is

18.I Am Me

Why should I want to be you?
Why should I want to be you?
I am me
Can’t you see
If I was you
Than you would be two
Who would be me?
Who would be me?
Unless you would be
But if I was you
And you were me
Than we could not do
The things that be
And if we are to be true
To the vision we see
Here is one clue
Here is one clue
This mystery
That you must be you
And I must be me
I must be me
Why should I want to be you?
Why should I want to be you?
I am me
I am me
I am me

19. Ban the Klan

Ban the klan
Ban the klan
Put down racism
Ban the klan

Make a stand
Make a stand
Put down racism
Make a stand

Ban the klan
Ban the klan
Put down racism
Ban the klan

We don't need no hypocrites
We don't need no hypocrites
We don't need no hypocrites

Ban the klan
Ban the klan
Put down racism
Ban the klan

Make a stand
Make a stand
Put down racism
Make a stand

Ban the klan
Ban the klan
Put down racism
Ban the klan

We don't need no hypocrites
We don't need no hypocrites

20. Deception

Deception
Deception
Deception
Deception

There are alot things
In this here nation
They look so good
But there just temptation

You make a friend
You think you can trust him
He tells you lies
And looks so handsome

She kiss you on the lib
But she stab you with her hand
She look like a sheep
But she’s a wolf in sheep’s skin

You go to vote
At the next election
You think you made a good choice
But it’s a wicked crooked politician

21. Our Flag

Our Flag

Why tear it
When you can wear it

Why burn it
When you can cover furniture with it

Remember recycling is important

22. Trash Blues

Trash a trash a trash a trash a trash a trash blues
Trash a trash a trash a trash it’s not what I choose
Trash a trash a trash a trash a trash a trash blues
Over here
Over there
Before you know it-it gets right in your ear

Trash a trash a trash a trash a trash a trash blues
Trash a trash a trash a trash it’s really bad news
Trash a trash a trash a trash a trash a trash blues
In that place
In this place
Before you know it-it gets right in your face

23. 13 Reasons

1.Because it's on a Friday
2.Because it's not on a Monday
3.To have a 3 day weekend
4.There's not enough national holidays
5.Look at all the great people that were born on Friday the thirteenth (Not that I can think of anybody,can you think of anybody ?)
6.So people can go to Ho Chunk and bet all their money away
7.It's better than a poke in the eye
8.To commemorate our thirteenth president Mildred Filmore, don't you remember what he did for our country ?
9.To give people another day to put their flags up
10.Actually did you know the number 13 is patriotic ? There are 13 stripes on the flag representing the first 13 states
11.With all the other laws and legislator nowadays why not ?
12.So that hotels that have the number 13 will do better business and hotels without the number 13 will be laugh at
And the 13th and finale reason is: Because I couldn't think of anything thing else to write but Baker's Dozen

24. I Don’t Like To Argue

I don’t like to argue
I don’t like to quarrel
I don’t like to argue
About silly useless morals
I don’t like to argue
I don’t like to quarrel
I don't want to yell at you
Don't want you to yell at me
So let's just forget about it
And come back tomorrow

Some people like her because she's got red hair
Some people like him because he's got green hair
Some people like her because she's got no hair
Well it doesn't really matter
If love is what your after
Who cares about the hair we need to love and share

I don’t like to argue
I don’t like to quarrel
I don’t like to argue
About silly useless morals
I don’t like to argue
I don’t like to quarrel
Don't want to yell at you
Don't want you to yell at me
So let's just forget about it
And come back tomorrow

Well I used to be a know it all I used think I knew everything
I used to be a know it all I'd cuss holler and scream
I used to be a know it all I used think I knew everything
Now I realize
I wasn't very wise
I used to be a know it all,now I just sit here and sing

Some people tell me this song is much too long
Other people say my voice is really wrong
Some people tell me this song is much too long
Well even if it's not okay
I'll sing it anyway
And if you want to,you like to, you can sing along

I don’t like to argue
I don’t like to quarrel
I don’t like to argue
About silly useless morals
I don’t like to argue
I don’t like to quarrel
Don't want to yell at you
Don't want you to yell at me
So let's just forget about it
And come back tomorrow

25. Now That the War is over

Now that the war is over
Or is it ?
And what about that H Bomb in your closet
Have you seen El Salvador ?
And if you haven’t
Then why are the Irish Catholics killing Protestents ?
You say your not prejudice yet
But how do you know ?
What would you say if a Chineese, Korean, women, black, Hindue, Muslem, American Indian ran for Mayor ?
Governor ? President ? or Congressman ?
Anarcy or Communism won’t take away violence and stress
You say your cool
But do you love too
I don’t care what you believe
If your destroying others and that helps you succeed
Then all that matters is power and greed
And from war you’ll never be free
Now go and kill peacefully
And see the World die

26. Hand Guns Illegal

Don't you think it's time we made hand guns illegal
All my friends have got one I know
Every time I get paid they say hand over the dough
Don't you think it's time we made hand guns illegal

My neighbor bought one late last week
He was cleaning it up to make it look neat
All of a sudden a bullet dislodged and hit my window
Don't you think it's time we made hand guns illegal

Don't you think it's time we made hand guns illegal
All my friends have got one I know
Every time I get paid they say hand over the dough
Don't you think it's time we made hand guns illegal

I like to go see a movie
But I don't want to go if their going to be shooting
I paid good money for this picture show
Don't you think it's time we made hand guns illegal

Don't you think it's time we made hand guns illegal
All my friends have got one I know
Every time I get paid they say hand over the dough
Don't you think it's time we made hand guns illegal

What else is legislature for to do
They just sit around collecting taxes from me and you
What would it take before, maybe they get robbed by their niece or nephew
Then maybe they make handguns illegal

Don't you think it's time we made hand guns illegal
All my friends have got one I know
Every time I get paid they say hand over the dough
Don't you think it's time we made hand guns illegal

27. We Took a Pole

We took a poll
I'm not sure if it was a telephone pole or not
And we found 90 % percent of the people we didn't ask believed polls are incorrect
And of the 90 % percent you know that we didn't ask
50 % percent believed scientist were interviewing sparrows
20 % percent of the 90 % percent that we didn't ask
Believed our Grandma oh Our Grandmas made up the poll
Or maybe Elvis
And the remaining 10 % percent were vacationing in Antarctica for spring break
Or was that Florida
The moral of the story is:
Never look for a penny in the corner of a round room

28. Is He For Real

Just cause he says he's friendly Lyle
And acts so nice to your child
No mean it's safe to walk on the tile
No mean there's enough gas to make the next mile
Cause even the best have lie once in awhile
Just cause he has a friendly smile
His hair is combed his nails filed
Don't mean there's no deceit or guile

Is he for real or just acting
When he gets on the stage to sing
I never know, I really don't
Sometimes I'm afraid to vote

He could be a viper in disguise
He could Satan as an Angel of light
Just cause he has such pretty eyes
Don't mean his teeth won't bite
So when you go to elect
The next President
Remember to expect
Words are often bent

Is he for real or just acting
When he gets on the stage to sing
I never know, I really don't
Sometimes I'm afraid to vote

Promises are compromised
All the more to eat you my dear
Lies are truth and Truth are lies
And nothing really is that clear
So vote for me and I do this
I'll be the very thing you wish
I'll bow to you-your feet I'll kiss
But once I'm in office my words I'll twist

Is he for real or just acting
When he gets on the stage to sings
I never know, I really don't
Sometimes I'm afraid to vote

29.Health News

Doctors discover high salt, high sugar, & high cholesterol is good for you.
Eat lots of junk food but stay away from vitamins.
These nasty bandits (Vitamins) can destroy your brain if your not careful.
Be careful when eating vegetables and fruit they might lower your high blood pressure to normal.
Going without breath can lengthen your life providing you don’t suffocate.
But don’t exercise you might lose that excess flab that makes you so attractive.
If you must exercise keep in mind that the best exercise is over exerting so that your heart will explode.
Never worry about what’s in your glass as long as it taste good
Cigarettes before were said to cause cancer now have been discovered to be the cure to the common cold.
The more you cough the healthier you are.
Staying up will keep you awake and then you will be alert.
Drink lots of coffee or jolt or even better:{Too much of a bad thing is good for you}.
Poison Ivy when eaten will help you itch.
But stay away from that diet food it taste funny and they removed the chemicals.
If you lack energy eats lots of candy and sit around watching Tevo,TV.
Never worry about calories and as long as the food taste good.
Your Doctor Ralph Phony.

30. Life is Grand

Fred a workingman sudden relaxes
Because he’s got to pay his taxes
Although he like to go on vacation
He regrets he can’t afford inflation

Life is Grand
Life is Grand

The local grocery super market
Is hunting for him for a target
They’d like to put on his back the cross
Of all their expenses and all their costs

Life is Grand
Life is Grand

While crucifying the farmer dies
He can’t afford to buy supplies
They pay him less but prices rise
And no one stops to wonder why

Life is Grand
Life is Grand
Now lets rejoice about nuclear waste
The house by the plant is a lovely place
I like the scenery by the lake
By why did that poison have to leak

Life is Grand
Life is Grand

God made a lovely world here
But man had to go and make it prettier
With chemicals and scientific spells
It might be safer to live in hell

Life is Grand
Life is Grand

And on the subject of Christmas time
Say what is the meaning of the rhyme
Buying of coarse the commercial’s say
And bother are kids day after day

Life is Grand
Life is Grand

With toys they want and toys they need
Toys they’ve got to have if they ever will succeed
While selling us toys that break
Toys with mistakes our wallets they rape

Life is Grand
Life is Grand

Now you may say that this is bad
For me to sing about things so sad
I must admit it could be worse
Any moment a nuclear bomb could burst

I don’t love you because you love me
I love you because of Jesus
I don’t love you because you make me happy
I love you because of Jesus
I don’t love you because your nice to see
I love you because of Jesus
I don’t love you because your so pretty
Your pretty because of Jesus
Because of Jesus
Because of Jesus

I don’t love you because you got lots of money
I love you because of Jesus
I don’t love you because your real funny
I love you because of Jesus
Whether your here or far across the sea
I love you because of Jesus
Whether the sky or cloudy or it's really sunny
I love you because of Jesus
Because of Jesus
Because of Jesus

I don’t love you (you know) because you love me
I love you because of Jesus
You know you maybe in prison or very much free
But I love you because of Jesus
You maybe blind or able to see
But I love you because of Jesus
You know no matter what your nationality
I love you because of Jesus
Because of Jesus
Because of Jesus

34. I’m a Clutz

When I saw you dear
I knew you be true
I knew I could love you
Then I spilled a malt shake on your shoe shoe shoe

I’m sorry dear
But I’m a real clutz
I tell you that I love you
Then I drive you car into a bus a bus a bus

Ask my boss
He’ll tell you just the same
The other day when I went to work
I broke the window pane pane pane

Could it be the day I was born
Hey could it be my parents
Could it be the fact
I eat to many carrots carrots carrots

Kazoo~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well let’s go out tonight
We’ll dance and dance and dance
We’ll rock around the clock
Oops I spilled my soda on your pants pants pants

I’m sorry dear
But I’m a real clutz
I tell you that I love you
Then I drive you car into a bus bus bus bus

35. If I Must Die

I hate to do this to you, to do a funny song and then stick you with a very serious poem but I'll do this poem any how.

If I must die
Let me die for a worthy cause
Let me not commit suicide
Let me stand tall and strong
Let me fight brave and long
Let me not give up
No matter how rough
The road may be
I must remember and see
That God has a plan for me

And if I must die
And we all know we must die
Let me die with dignity
For that is the best destiny
Not a scolar
Not a pauper
Or a Queen
Could ever be free
Without dignity

So if I must die
Let me die with the dignity
That I did something
To make the world see
And then I will die
Most peacefully

36. This Brain I’ve Got

1.This brain I've got
Won't last forever
No matter how
Smart or cleaver
And though I kiss you darling
That's just for today
Who know's what
Tomorrow may say
These mortal bodies
That we are in
Are only temporarely
They rust like tin
And though we think our life will last
One day it fades just like the grass

2.We are so blind
To the truth
We cling to things
Like they've got root
Before our own
Very eyes
Things pass away
Friends say goodbye
And though we hope
And though we dream
We can't keep forever
The grass green
So say farewell and hug me once more
Before we fade from this shore

37. About Things

Now because I have runned out of things to say
I'll say alot of things
And in speaking of things
I thought I'd speak about things
What kind of things will I talk about ?
That's a thing of a question
And when you question things do they answer ?
What kind of answers to things give you ?
Talking about giving things
I gave this thing to my girlfriend and she hasn't spoken to me since
Do you think she had a problem with something ?
It's a thing of the past
Talking about passing things
I passed this thing on the way to work
It was a coming
And I was a going
I don't know what it was but I wasn't prepared for just anything
You know not everything that is affordable is always practical
So don't just settle for anything
When you can get something good

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