A human ancestry scientist is all over the news, bragging his credentials off by telling the world he can prove the Abominable Snowman was/is really a bear. That’s just dandy; he has no proof other than supposition, whereas arguments to the contrary include tons of movies, books, cartoons, blurry YouTube™ videos, novelty T-shirts, toys, shampoo bottles and even themed hamburgers to refute his refution. Clearly, this man is a quack.

So NBC.com reports that after a yearlong quest, “Oxford University’s Bryan Sykes, a British geneticist, says he has matched the DNA from hairs attributed to Himalayan Yetis, also known as “Abominable Snowmen,” to a breed of Arctic bear that lived tens of thousands of years ago. Other researchers say that might be as good an explanation as any.”

Are you kidding me? What’s to explain – one billion Himalayans will swear upon a stack of handmade rugs that the creature roaming the region of Nepal and Tibet is a super tall ape-like cryptid that lives off highly nutritious snow, indigenous to that part of the world. And the key word here is “ape-like.” Not “bear-like” or even “bear-esque.”

So what does all of this prove? That a degree from Oxford University isn’t worth the handmade rug it’s printed on.