PEOPLE, LET’S STOP WITH THE CUPCAKES. I mean, really? Yesterday was National Pro Life Cupcake Day, which I’m pretty sure is not a real holiday, on which you’re supposed to give out tasty cupcakes to promote an end to abortion. How anyone can eat a cupcake while thinking about an abortion is beyond me. But maybe that’s the point! Or maybe it’s a pathetic attempt to capitalize on a trend and ride the cupcake train all the way to the supreme court, baby!

Also, I think there’s a reason why they chose cupcakes instead of something more topical (maybe King Cake, which has religious origins AND HAS A TINY BABY INSIDE, just like your sinning uterus). To quote the website’s magnificent “Why Cupcakes?” section, (apostrophe abuse preserved)

“Bring in a tray of cupcakes for any group of people and you will find that they will flock to get them. As soon as they take a bite they will probably ask, “Who’s birthday is it?”

Then you answer. “It’s no ones birthday. These cupcakes represent the 50,000,000 children who weren’t allowed to be born, who never had a birthday.” The cake in their mouth will become dry and the moment will hopefully become quite somber. Then you say, “If you and I were aborted we wouldn’t have a birthday party either.”

Ouch. I hope they weren’t Red Velvet.

So for me, leaving aside some bitchy comments about how the cupcakes are TOTES FUG ANYWAY (I mean really? Is that from a box? And shouldn’t it be “shalt?”), this just makes me hate cupcakes and anti-choicers, which are two things I didn’t care for in the first place, so there you go. And they kind of go well together. It’s like everything I hate about the cupcake trend, with its day-glo frosting and childish appeal, paired with the preachiness and logic fail of the anti-abortion crowd. It’s like peanut butter and chocolate! Except, y’know, one is an annoying bakery trend and one is a legal movement to take away reproductive rights. I know, right? Tasty!