Friday, November 15, 2013

Gizoogle - Patch notes For EVE Online: Rubicon 1.0

Warning for those who have never seen me do this. I run the patch note page through a translation site aka Gizoogle and paste the results here. If you don't find it amusing, skip this post. Its obnoxious and it is hilarious.

The real patch notes are here. I suggest everyone give them a read. For those who want the 'real' version as I call the gizoogled ones they are below the cut.

Siphon Units loot 60 unitz of raw shiznit or 30 unitz of processed material. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Siphon Units can only loot from tha end of a thang chain n' tha Lil Small-Ass Mobile Siphon Unit prioritizes raw material over processed material. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Da unit steals all up in tha same time tha starbase produces, so once per hour.

10% of what tha fuck is jacked is wasted, i.e. destroyed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da rest is stored up in tha Lil Small-Ass Mobile Siphon Unit. Well shiiiit, it can store 900m³. If it is full, it stops jackin.

Anybody can access tha storage of tha Siphon Unit n' remove shit.

Mobile Cynosural Inhibitor

Blueprints fo' a freshly smoked up mobile structure called tha Mobile Cynosural Inhibitor can now be purchased from various stations, mostly up in 0.0 at a price of 150,000,000 ISK.

Each Mobile Cynosural Inhibitor can only be deployed once up in ta space. Once deployed, it cannot be scooped up again.

Da Mobile Depot cannot be deployed within 6,000m of another Da Mobile Depot.

Da Mobile Depot cannot be deployed within 50km of a station or a stargate.

Da Mobile Depot cannot be deployed within 40km of a cold-ass lil control tower.

Pimp Joints

New Anomalies called ‘Pimp Joints’ added ta High Sec, Low Sec, Null Sec n' WH space – one fo' every last muthafuckin pirate faction up in each area. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. See this blog fo' mo' shiznit

All Concord operated Customs Offices up in Hi-Sec is now controlled by InterBus. Interbus stations gotz a tax rate of 17%.

InterBus Customs Offices can be beat down by mah playas.

Players can build a Customs Office orbitin a hood dat has no Customs Office. This is legit fo' all securitizzle bandz yo, but existin hood restrictions fo' Custom Offices (like dem up in Jita) will remain.

Each Certificate now has 5 progression levels n' aint gots nested requirements from other Certificates.

Certificate icons done been revamped; it is now easier ta notice they is different based on tha 5 progression levels mentioned above.

Certificates done been removed from they specific tab up in tha Character Sheet window n' is now available up in tha Skill tab. There, Certificates is sorted by tha same categories used ta filter various skill groups.

Right-clickin a Individual Certificate will open mo' shiznit bout it, includin its description, tha various progression levels n' tha various ships it is recommended for.

Da Certificate Planner has been removed.

It be no longer necessary ta manually claim Certificates when meetin requirements.

Certificates can no longer set as public.

Da Certificate tutorial has been updated ta match tha chizzles, under EVE Help (F12), up in tha tutorial tab n' by lookin inside tha “General” group

Skills also have received freshly smoked up icons ta match tha Certificate chizzles.

A particular shizzle Mastery level is tha collection of all Certificatez of tha same level assigned ta dat hull. This can be viewed by lookin at any shizzle show-info, then goin tha fuck into tha “Mastery” tab.

Each Mastery has 5 levels (each matchin one of tha 5 Certificate levels)

A chronic checker indicates tha Certificate requirements has been met, a orange circle means a shitload of tha requirements is trained but not kicked it wit while a red cross means some game is missing. Individual game may be peeped by clickin each Certificate crew ta expand or collapse dat shit.

Primary, secondary, tertiary requirements n' so done been removed ta avoid unnecessary mad drama. Instead, all mandatory game ta fly a particular shizzle is highlighted up in chronic or red dependin if skill requirements is kicked it wit or not.

Clickin each of dem icon will open they respectizzle tabs n' details, as mentioned above.

Interbus Ship Identification System

A visualization tool has been added ta represent progression n' clear identification of all tha non-unique ships in-game. This shizzle tree, named tha “Interbus Ship Identification System”, may be accessed by clickin tha freshly smoked up button available up in yo' NeoCom, by pressin ALT+& or by clickin tha “Show up in ISIS” button up in tha shizzle show-info. For mo' shiznit, please refer ta dat Dev Blog

Left-clickin on each shizzle will open tha show-info fo' dat particular hull. Right-clickin will allow tha user ta view tha shizzle up in tha market or contracts as well.

Below each shizzle silhouette is tha Mastery level icon, which indicates how tha fuck well tha user can fly tha hull. Well shiiiit, it ranks from I ta V, n' details may be accessed all up in a left-click, then goin tha fuck into tha “mastery” tab up in tha shizzle show-info. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Ships dat done been straight-up mastered (Mastery at V) will show as golden up in tha ISIS.

Synergy wit tha Compare tool

Da Compare Tool (available by clickin tha “E” icon all up in tha top of tha NeoCom, then selectin “Compare Tool” up in tha drop-down list) can be used ta quickly weight various shizzle attributes from tha ISIS

For this, simply drag n' drop shizzle types from tha ISIS tha fuck into tha compare tool window, then select specific attributes ta be compared from tha left scroll-down tab. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Ships may also be dragged n' dropped from tha show info shizzle model or Market windows.

New launcher maniac wit straight-up high damage output up in a funky-ass burst followed by 40 second reload time.

For details n' rap on Rapid Heavy Launchers look up in dis thread

Rapid Heavy Pistol Launcher I

Fitting: 960 PG, 50 CPU

Rate of fire: 6.5s

Charge capacity: 21

Reload time: 40s

Rapid Heavy Pistol Launcher Pt II

Fitting: 1210 PG, 59 CPU

Rate of fire: 5.2s

Charge capacity: 23

Reload time: 40s

Fleets

Da mobilitizzle ta store fleet setups has been added. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This includes tha number of wings n' they squadz along wit they names fo' realz. Additionally, Message of tha Dizzle n' Free-Move n' Voice settings can be stored up in tha fleet setup. These fleet setups is stored server side per character.

Da mobilitizzle ta mass-invite ta fleets n' mass-move fleet thugz has been added. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This is can be done by draggin pilots from various pilots lists (like fuckin chat, Addressbook, Fleet Window, etc), n' droppin dem up in there Fleet Window where they should be added. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Mass-invite/mass-move aint NEVER gonna make any of tha pilots a cold-ass lil commander.

When pilots join a gangbangin' fleet, they will now enter tha straight-up original gangsta available squad dat has both Win Commander n' a Squad Commander n' shit. If one be aint available, then tha straight-up original gangsta available squad dat has a Win Commander, then first availble squad dat has a Squad Commander, n' then tha last option is tha straight-up original gangsta available commanderless fleet.

Added a freshly smoked up landmark as reward fo' Echelon Entertainment's exploration competition, held up in summer 2013.

Soundz n' Noize

5 new noize tracks done been added ta low sec.

New jumpgate sound implementation ta support freshly smoked up effects (activate, deactivate etc.) - playas can now hear when one of mah thugs enters

Atmosphere soundz from suns - based on type

Added sound fo' tha disruption bubble

Added freshly smoked up "siege mode" sounds

Graphics n' FX

EVE Client supports renderin wit DirectX 11 (though there is no graphical difference right now between DirectX 11 n' DirectX 9). Well shiiiit, it is enabled by default if yo' GPU n' OS support it, n' DX11/DX9 can be toggled up in tha EVE Launcher settings.

Changes

Tech Pt III Ships

Yo ass can now fit subsystems up in space. If modulez need ta be removed cuz of slot chizzlez they is ghon be placed up in tha cargo hold of yo' ship. Note dat switchin subsystems may temporarily reduce tha CPU output n' juice output ta zero which will result up in all modulez bein set offline.

Ship Maintenizzle Arrays n' XL Ship Maintenizzle Arrays will now drop wrecks containin a shitload of they ships. Each shizzle has tha same ol' dirty 50/50 survived/destroyed chizzle as regular loot. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Ships can be individually launched from tha (XL)SMA wreck up in ta space, where they can be boarded like any other un-piloted ship. Once tha wreck is emptied, it can be salvaged like any other. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SMAs will generate killmails showin what tha fuck ships was dropped n' what tha fuck was destroyed (includin shit in/on dem ships). Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. See [blog] fo' details.

Only one shizzle at a time can now be launched from a Ship Maintenizzle Array

Fleets

Da Fleet Composizzle window will now display tha shizzle type fo' all fleet members, not only fo' dem playas whoz ass is up in space

A freshly smoked up column, which shows tha member's posizzle up in fleet, has been added ta tha Fleet Composizzle window.

2 comments:

Warnin fo' dem playas whoz ass have never peeped mah crazy ass do all dis bullshit. I run tha patch note page all up in a translation joint aka Gizoogle n' paste tha thangs up in dis biatch here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. If you don't find it amusing, skip dis post. Its obnoxious n' it is hilarious.

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