(I feel so bad for corrupting this but* The headache fucks off, as you go to the doctor, and he tells you that you have a major sinus problem, and have to take expensive medication for the rest of your life....

Granted. You're paranoia disappears, and you let your guard down. The gremlins stalking you realize this is the perfect time to poison your drink, giving you horrific stomach pain and diarrhea. You should have been more paranoid.

(Oh the ways I can corrupt that... but this is PG-13 only... a pity.)Granted! You are in the man of steal movie. Only, it's not a movie. It's a documentary. And you're the one getting your hands cut off.

I wish that Earth was no longer destroyed (kinda surprised that no one did this earlier...)

Granted...instead of being destroyed, it is merely corrupted into a tar-pit of pollution, collapse of governments and economic systems, and overriding base instincts among the majority of the planet, resulting in genocide, planet-wide slavery, and the reduction of life expectancy everywhere to twenty-four.