This week, the Parent Pastors
tackle the issue of boundaries, how we communicate our boundaries
to our churches, and why it’s important to our families to make
sure we have solid boundaries in place.

Parenting Fail Segment

Manderson - Mild
Concussion/Headache from Tickling Justus & Silas

Stout - Pastor fail: I called
the SPR chair of my new church by the wrong name.

Bevil - Sophie got a tick. I
tried to remove by force alone; Sophie did it herself with
care!

Topic of the Week:

Setting Boundaries is important
for both the individual, whether it’s the pastor, the pastor’s
family, or the church member, and the church as a whole. It’s also
important to make exceptions sometimes, because if we’re too
boundaries focused, it can cause us to become walled off to our
congregants. We want them to feel like friends, but friends with
good boundaries.

Setting Time
Boundaries:

How
do you decide exactly what to say ‘no’ to?

How
do you communicate to someone that the thing they want you to do
isn’t important enough for you to do right now?

Do
you decide on a case-by-case basis, or do you have a rule for what
you will and won’t do outside of regular hours?

I
think we all know about that one parishioner that will call at odd
times with weird stuff to say. Is it OK to ignore their call,
because you’re pretty sure it’ll be a waste of your time?
What if it’s important?

How
does Sabbath fit into all of this?

Setting Expectation
Boundaries:

People think that just because you’re the
pastor, they have a license to say all kinds of crazy things about
your or your family.

People think that they can expect to just walk
up to you and take your baby from you any time they want.
NOPE!

People may expect your wife to do things she’s
uncomfortable doing because they think it’s something the pastor’s
wife just ought to do.

If
you fail to be firm, it’s not being grace-filled toward your
family.

Most
people, if they understand why, will back off.

Nobody wants a pastor who’s a neglectful
parent, but they’re also not going to prioritize your family for
you if you don’t. The same goes for your overall schedule, your
sermon prep time, etc.

Recurring Segment

We discuss the kid's TV show, PJ
Masks. Are these kids dreaming? Where are the adults!?

Parenting Wins

Pam Anderson calls in with a
win!

Manderson - Justus praying at
the dinner table when cousin was over. “Thanks Jesus for coming
back to life at Easter time.”

Stout - Ruthie has started
telling jokes, and she kind of understands it. She told a joke that
made sense and was mildly funny, but then followed it up by telling
all kinds of nonsensical absurdist jokes.

Bevil - Sophie, Emma, & the
Toilet...

About the Podcast

Matt Anderson, Matt Stout, and Jonathon Bevil, three United Methodist Pastors who are parents, talk about their struggles and their victories trying to balance ministry and family.