Dudes, what is your problem? A rep for AYI told the Daily News that he attributes vegetarians’ appeal to the perception that they’re inherently “healthy” people. Considering there is no way that the vast majority of the men polled don’t feast on the flesh of animals themselves, this whole thing rubs me the wrong way. Remind me again why your date’s diet is any of your business?

Personally, I have loved meat and I have loved men. But if you’re going to make me choose, I will live happily ever after with all the bacon cheeseburgers in the land. Besides tasting great, a bacon cheeseburger never expressed weird, controlling judgments about what I eat — an aspect of my life that has little bearing on anyone else’s. Being an asshole, you see, requires sentience.

Interestingly, the reverse is true of female online daters: the same study found that women are 13 percent more intrigued by male carnivores than male vegetarians. Maybe the salad-eating dudes and steak-eating ladies of the world should consider getting together.