PSYCHOLOGY BUSKING a la wordswords is meant for those interested in Buskology -- the study of human behavior while busking with a guitar and harmonica or a didgeridoo or a pencil and sketchbook!

Sunday, March 23, 2014

FREEDOM: THE FAT OF REALITY THERAPY AND THE SKINNY OF ZEN

It is minus 28 degrees with a 13 mile per hour wind.Though I’d rather be busking than
woolgathering (again), I must express what is right now on my cloistered and
meshuggener mindset.

Everyone has a story
to tell … Make a friend … All behavior is based on the need for love,
power, freedom, or fun … We do what
we choose to do.These are some heuristics
of REALITY
THERAPY (RT).

Admittedly, I’m an old school Reality Therapist.When I studied RT there were but four basic
needs: Love, Power, Freedom, and Fun.And now there is a
fifth, Survival.

I’m an old school Reality Therapist who had
not really studied CHOICE THEORY,
probably because of that corny car metaphor the good Doctor Glasser employed.(I still chuckle when I think of it – and that
metaphor is still employed in his teachings!)

I’m an old school Reality Therapist
who loved his POSITIVE ADDICTION, a book
with a strong premise inspired by weak research -- I loved it I think because I
am a long-distance runner and the contents praised such endurance.

I’m an old school Reality Therapist who loathed his
CONTROL THEORY IN THECLASSROOM, a book filled with nonsense
-- I hated it I think because I am a classroom teacher and the contents
condemned the style of my classroom management.

William Glasser (author of both mentioned books) is neither
a runner nor a school teacher, yet he purports to be an authority on both.Even so, for whatever crazy reasons (Glasser
does not believe in crazy), I quite like most of his notions.

Make a friend. This is rule number one for a counselor of
Reality Therapy.The conversation
between counselor and client ought to seem very fluid and informal, as if the
client is chatting with a friend.It is
incumbent upon the counselor to create a counseling atmosphere of ease and
candidness, so the sessional discourse is emotional and truthful, so seemingly and seamlessly as a conversation between two buddies.

Everyone has a story
to tell.We are gregarious story-telling
creatures and the stories we tell one another are really the projected themes
of who we are and what we consider to be important.We can pretty much determine peoples’
interests according to their oratory themes.Some people always boast of their past heroics (attempting to re-create
a situation that is at present not so positive).Some people exaggerate about their children’s
accomplishments (as if somehow the listener should attribute the credit to the
speaker).Some people brag about their
mates (at the expense of their personal insecurities being obvious).

Alfred Adler (founder of Adlerian
Psychotherapy) suggested all behavior is purposeful. William Glasser (founder
of Reality Therapy) believes all
behaviors express the need for love, power, freedom, or fun.The love
factor is simply the need to love and the need to feel loved.Power,
in the Reality Therapy sense, references the need to perfect a study or skill
of whatever sorts, be it academic or pragmatic. Freedom and fun are the needs each of us have for
free choice and the ability, then, to enjoy our lives according to these
choices.

This particular blog entry is about the fat of Reality
Therapy (freedom of choice) and
the skinny of Zen (to live is to suffer).Combine the two and we must realize that most
of our suffering through interpersonal relationships is likely the direct
result of the choices we have made.

According to Zen, as long as we live, we
shall be suffering something.According to
Reality Therapy, we control only ourselves, and our past is important only as a
source to reveal our patterns of behavior to date.According to both Zen and Reality Therapy,
the only way for anyone to realize a positive life change is by making certain
choices.

Jean-Paul Sartre insisted we are condemned to be free, and
therefore we must admit ownership for all the choices we make or do not
make.

No matter our belief system, all of us know that the
consequence for our freedom of choice is either flush with joy or replete with
heartache.

We choose, choose, choose.

We choose to be the person we want to become.And the person we become is the person we
present to others. We choose our careers and avocations. We choose to be blue
collar or white collar, pencil-pusher or action figure. We choose where we
live. We choose to be urban or campestral. We choose how we live. We choose to smoke or not; we choose to drink or not; we choose to exercise or not. We choose to be démodé or bon
vivant. We choose to be congenial. We choose to be celibate;
we choose to be promiscuous.We choose
to be bellicose.We choose to
praise.We choose to besmirch.We choose to be capricious.We choose to be cockalorum.We choose to be humble. We choose our friends. We choose our lovers.

We choose to be chin-up. We choose to be chopfallen.

We choose, choose, choose.

Sooner or later we realize that everyone has a gift to offer
others, an acquired skill that is unique to that individual.Sooner or later we realize that we need not
be passionate about our chosen profession or work station.Sooner or later we realize that giving
provides more joy than taking. Sooner or
later we realize there will always be clarity to what is at present
confusing.Sooner or later we realize
that our interests will be many and varied as we age. Sooner or later we
realize that health and relationships are more valuable than money.

All of us try to imagine purpose for our lives. All of us acquire, through personal endeavor,
unique gifts and skills to help us achieve that imagined purpose.

We are all blessed and accursed ... as we all shall
continually thrive and suffer throughout all the days our lives ... especially when it comes to love ... and in this regard we have no choice at all.

About Me

I imagine myself to be a real cowboy. I've roots in Clay County,
Missouri (next to Jesse James); I've been shot off a horse while
crossing Notekeu Creek; I've ridden across 27 sections of Turkey Track
Ranch to meet a girl at a rodeo in Herbert, Saskatchewan.
I imagine myself to be a scholar. I've a Master's Degree in Educational
Psychology; I've a private HYPNOTHERAPY and PSYCHOLOGY CONSULTING
practice in downtown Regina SK
(PHONE 306-591-7131);
I'm a part-time university Psychology instructor and full-time high
school guidance counsellor.
In a line ... I'm an Americana fair-weather faux busker and a
self-proclaimed certified ... Buskologist!