Friday, December 19, 2008

Revolting Queers, my FAVORITE MPLS queer activist group is throwing their monthly party PEGASUS tonight at the art space MEDUSA. Below is a line-up from an email sent earlier today. Clearly, I'm a total mess thinking about the fun I'm missing...

Becky as Roseanne doing the national anthem

Act one of the Nativity: The virgin Mary has sexual relations with the village. This scene will include my trusty donkey and whoever else wants to spread their seed

Act two: Your personal Jesus. Birth. This scene will include Jamez shinning brightly, Scotty as Joseph, Peat as a Goat. Bethany as a Donkey People as Shepherds, the magical Angel Walter.

Act three: Take it off for Jesus. Jamez leads the three kings to the stage, they present their gifts, it cuts to Grace Jones and then the clothes come off. Ryan, Warr and Jarred are the kings.

Bash Back! is ecstatic to announce a national radical queerconvergence to take place in Chicago, May 28th through May 31st of 2009!We’re pleased to invite all radical queers to join us for a weekend ofdebauchery and mischief. The last weekend of May will prove to be four solid days of workshops, discussions, performances, games, dancing and street action!

We’ll handle the food and the housing. Ya’ll bring the orgy, riot,and decadence!

Sunday, December 7, 2008

I know what you're going to say. It's a Tuesday night. You're broke and there's no way you can be out that late. Snooze Cruise people. Seriously. This sort of attitude is exactly why New York City is way more boring than it used to be. Don't succumb to the dick-wads! It's time for Tuesday Rage!

You HAVE to go to at least on of these two events, if not both. They will change your life.

=========================

SKOAL KODIAK -at Death by AudioMy sweaty memories of Skoal Kodiak are numerous and fuzzy, voted by me to be the best Minneapolis band since the Replacements and/or Husker Du. This kid Marcus is a genius who creates this series of weird touch sensor pads in a empty Clorox bleach bottle that he sings into. It's dancy, noisy, filthy, sludgy, and will absolutely make you lose your mind.

They used to play at The Church in Minneapolis, a huge, beautiful, decaying church where a bunch of bike punks and art kids lived, made noise, and played badminton. Before they finally tore it down, the bestest farewell party in the whole world was had, headlined by Skoal Kodiak. My crew, the Revolting Queers, sent off the Church in classic style - Victorian drag, thongs, and water balloons down the pants of unsuspecting straight kids. The evening ended as you would expect, me in denim booty shorts pulling yards of taffeta out of Jerry's jammed-up bike gears.

I know, right? So sweet! The Cock is turning 10. What better way to celebrate 10 years of indiscretions and amazing music than with an evening celebrating Ms Jones, presented by the man who gave you "Feeling Cunty."

This will be a late one, but sometimes, we must be weary to know that we are still fighting.

While I'd like to avoid international financial deterioration as much as the next fellow, I can't help but be emboldened by the innovative discussions I've been having regarding the ways in which we can re-envision new collectivist economies. Here's a couple ideas we've been batting about.

Bart(end)erIt's hardly a new idea, but I desperately want to create some new opportunities for a barter economy. I also want more opportunities for delicious, low-cost cocktails. Picture it: a space for you to bring your goods and services to trade with others. And a space for tasty, adult beverages. I serve as both bartender and barter-tender. And while craigslist has set the tone for this sort of exchange, nothing beats in person, slightly inebriated haggling. Who's in?

Kredit KidzBasically, we'd gather a collective to throw in a small amount of money to join, and then a monthly pittance to maintain and grow the pot. A designated group would oversee any applications to join the group, and requests for interest-free loans from members of the collective. Loans would be granted based on need, ability to pay back, and size of the request.

I'm sure there would be lots of by-laws that could be written and mindless paperwork to fill out.

Kredit Kidz will be a sort of credit union. So it's not that Krazy of an idea. Except ours will be sexy, have fun parties, offer whopee cushions when you join, and encourage clothing optional Fridays.

Also, I don't think you can just get any old loan for any old thing with Kredit Kidz. You either REALLY need to have it, or it's for something REALLY awesome, and to start, you couldn't take out too much money.

Think less Individual needs ($10000 for a car), and more repayable collective good ($500 to throw a fun party which could be paid back thru beer sales). I think part of Kredit Kidz is responsible lending. You shouldn't have stuff you don't need that takes 10 years to pay back. That's why I have shitty credit. And that's why I need (and love) Kredit Kidz.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Just pulled a card to see what today would be like. I got the Six of Wands. This card represents very good news, a message of hope and victory, and may indicate gifts about to be received. Can't complain with that as you walk out the door.

Boris RULZ!!! Japanese noise trio that I've seen a couple times and have lost my mind on both. The first was at Walker, when they opened for SUNNO))). It's never been louder. I saw them again in Milwaukee at this teeeny tiiiny club, filled to the brim with LARPing dudes and their heavily mascara'd ladies. All of a sudden, living with my parents was AOK.

Sorry to post the same venue, but you NEED to go see them. like need to. They're the opener for the Teenagers, so don't try to pull any fashionably late nonsense. Why they're opening for someone on a Thursday night is beyond me. Body, face, look, fashions, sounds, rhythms. They're giving it all with ferociousness. When Karyn and I stumbled into their show a couple months ago, we were convinced we were seeing the B-52's in Athens, GA in 1979.Heloise - Illusions

Flux Factory is a NYC-based arts organization that used to house work-live residency spaces for artists doing rad stuff. They were kicked out of Williamsburg, and have just been evicted out of their Long Island City space. They're getting together to raise some bucks. No one has any money, just like you, but we've got to help out. Pull it together and show some love.

===================================

Saturday, Dec 6Bowie BallSantos Party House

I started chatting with this sweet little tranny that comes into my restaurant, and it turns out he throws BowieBall. They've got some trannyfagdyke LEGENDS participating including Michael T, Michael Formika Jones (of Squeezebox fame), Miss Guy, Dirty Martini, and Tigger. Oh, and Stella B Zotis from Project Runway, but I haven't had cable for a while and can't speak to if she's awesome of not. Also, the delightful Pixie Harlots will be prancing about in their signature post-everything outfits. You would be enchanted.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Ok, so I know this is yesterday's news, but I can't stop listening to this song. Long story short, a few weeks ago was the 18th Annual Night of a Thousand Stevies. Trannies, fabric, fingerless gloves, tambourines... the whole Stevie Nicks regalia. Linda James, side kick on the podcast Gay Pimpin with Johnny McGovern, did a remake of a deeeeeeeeep cut, "Desert Angel" - Stevie's response to the first Iraq war. Go visit her myspace to hear the song. It's how I start most of my mornings.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Howdy. At the encouragement of Kelly R, I have decided it's high time I start a blog. I can no longer deprive the world of this faggotry. Let's start things off the way God intended. With an Anne Geddes/Celine Dion youtube video. I hope this will inspire you as you prepare for my Super Sexy Anne Geddes costume party.