ENCT Blog

Would you like to truly have it sussed when it comes to handling your emotions and persistent thoughts? To feel a resilient, inner confidence and acceptance of pretty much whatever emotions come up for you?

I used to think life around me told me so much about everyone else! I really believed that if they would change I could get over feeling frustrated and upset and on with being happy! Seriously! I put a lot of effort into (subtly) trying to ‘teach’ them better ways of communicating and reacting. So I could be more peaceful and happy.

Depression, anxiety, lack of focus and irritability are signs of being buffeted around by your emotions and thoughts. I had all of those.

Once I realised that I could untangle my inner world and actually did something about meeting my underlying needs – life changed for me. And for those around me 🙂 Continue reading →

Neither rain nor wind nor even flood-waters ! could stop the February ENCT participants from making it to their ‘Intimate Relationships: Returning to Love‘ Retreat. For me, it was one of the best ever, despite the logistical challenges of ferrying everyone in and out in 4WD’s!

What a week; while the weather did its unpredictable thing outside, we cosied up inside for some intensive, explorative, playful and sometimes very challenging work that left me alternately exhausted and exhilarated! From the feedback received, I’m glad to say we’d call it another ‘successful ENCT Retreat’, with most newcomers signing up to continue with the full program including empathy buddying, coaching, webinars and more, over the next 8 months.

Since a measure of ‘success’ in NVC is through ‘needs met‘ I thought you might enjoy seeing how I’d sum up the February 2013 Retreat, based on chats with participants and trainers, as well as my own memories of the experience. For fun, I’ve put some of the needs met in bold. Continue reading →

You had the best of intentions, you got clear on your needs, you imagined what they may be needing, you stayed present. BUT… somehow it actually happened very differently from the sweetness of how you imagined the interaction would go. And perplexed, you may have wondered “what did I do wrong?”

I remember telephone calls with my ex husband where I wanted to work out some new arrangement. I would prep myself by connecting to what my needs are, what his might be, and still… argh! It was painful for both of us.

Sadly it took me many years to work out some of what might have been happening. I hope you may learn quicker than I did. Continue reading →