Rick Santorum told a crowd of supporters today that charges from the left that his tendency to ignore facts in favor of just saying random made up shit that supports his preselected belief system means that he's anti-science are wrong— so wrong, in fact, that the very opposite is true— it's those liberal elites that hate science, not him! He's trolling us, right? He's got to be trolling us.

He told the gathering in eastern Ohio that he "comes from the coal fields," which, as CBS's Rebecca Kaplan points out, is truth stretched out further than facts at a creationism museum. In fact, Santorum's parents were a psychologist and a nurse, and Santorum himself is a career attorney and politician who has never worked in a coal mine. In order to find Rick Santorum basking in the fields of coal, at one with the fossil fuel like some sort of beautiful sweatervested human charcoal briquette, you'd have to go back two generations. By that logic, I'm a construction union organizer in North Minneapolis. You might be, too.

But the global warming denier who thinks that a fertilized egg is exactly the same as a full grown human adult and that America is heading to an age of guillotines wasn't done yet. He went on to tell those listening that charges that he was against science were absurd. After all, he's in favor of using all the science we have to plunder the shit out of the earth and drain it of its resources. Demmycrats who don't want to fuck the environment in the face are the ones who are to blame for turning their backs on the brains and sense the good Lord gave them. No, Rick Santorum loves science. That's why everyone in the coal fields call him Dr. Science.