Hi there. I was just wondering when people felt happy to leave their babies for the first time. I left my little one for two hours for the first time a few weeks ago and I didn't want to but had no choice now I don't want to leave him with anyone. He's 5 months old and my friends say that isn't normal. I just don't want my baby to stay at other people's houses. Also he is intolerant to milk and no one else takes it seriously and we've started weaning so worried they will give something I haven't prepared which could have milk in.

Is this normal or are people right and saying there is something wrong with me. In my eyes my child doesn't need to be with his grandparents I am off work to look after him not to palm him off on other people.

Sorry for the rant. X

Mon Jun 30, 2014 8:40 am

ClaireL069

ED frequent user

Joined: Sun Nov 17, 2013 2:02 pmPosts: 167

Re: leaving your baby.

Finally, someone that is on my wave length!!My son is 3 years old and has never had an overnight stay with grandparents etc because there has never been any need to. I'm a SAHM and my partner works shifts and weekends, so we don't often get the opportunity to go out and when we do, we tend to do it as a family rather than as a couple, but as I don't work I've never felt the need to 'palm him off' either. You're not alone or weird in your thinking, at least not to me!!I have left him with grandparents for a few hours during the day for various meetings with my old work and other bits and bobs, but also found he was fed full of sweets chocolates and biscuits instead of the sandwiches, fruit and snacks I sent him with, didn't have cream applied at nappy changes which resulted in a very sore bottom and didn't have his nap so was a very tired and grumpy little boy when I picked him up, but this was all during his first year rather than more recently

Mon Jun 30, 2014 9:04 am

becki_wallace

ED newbie

Joined: Fri Nov 11, 2011 9:07 pmPosts: 7

Re: leaving your baby.

Im the same my 4yr old and 2 yr old dont go anywhere without me.they are my kids and thats how I think it should be.i dont even like leaving them with their dad(we live together and I dont like having a shower n leaving them with him) its not that I think ppl cant look after them, I just dont feel right without them.my 4yr old starts full time school on September he cant wait and im dreading it x x x

Mon Jun 30, 2014 10:08 am

becki_wallace

ED newbie

Joined: Fri Nov 11, 2011 9:07 pmPosts: 7

Re: leaving your baby.

Im the same my 4yr old and 2 yr old dont go anywhere without me.they are my kids and thats how I think it should be.i dont even like leaving them with their dad(we live together and I dont like having a shower n leaving them with him) its not that I think ppl cant look after them, I just dont feel right without them.my 4yr old starts full time school on September he cant wait and im dreading it x x x

Mon Jun 30, 2014 10:08 am

cookiej90

ED newbie

Joined: Sat Apr 05, 2014 9:13 amPosts: 1

Re: leaving your baby.

I'm on the other side of the coin. My little boy is 5 months and has stayed at grand parents a couple of nights and often goes for a few hours a week. I am going away for a weekend and my partner will have him for the weekend and vice versa later in the year. We are attending a wedding in October which the couple have specified no children so my little boy will be with Nanny and pappy for the weekend. I trust my parents and believe we should attend our friends wedding.

The key is doing what you feel comfortable doing. I wouldn't leave my little boy if wasn't comfortable doing so and didn't think he was going to be ok. He has slept through from 2 weeks and is in his own room. He is not clingy to mummy and daddy which helps.

I also believe that although he is our baby he is a joy for the whole family why not let them Enjoy this time too. We are not abandoning him he is a happy baby and me and my partner get some alone time which I think is important too. Yes we are parents but we have a relationship too.

In the end do what feels best for you and your baby. You know best. Don't feel like you are doing something wrong every situation is different. Xx

Mon Jun 30, 2014 10:49 am

charb86

ED newbie

Joined: Wed Feb 27, 2013 11:54 pmPosts: 8

Re: leaving your baby.

I can completely understand both sides of the argument. I do not think it is weird to want to be with your baby, I believe it is a natural drive. But I do agree with cookiej more.My daughter is 10 months old. The first time I went out without her was for a few hours was when she was 5 months old. She stayed with my mum and dad for those few hours. The first time she was away from us overnight was when she was 8 months. Again she stayed with my parents.She then stayed with then again when she was 9 months. So my daughter has spent a total of three nights away from us in just over 10 months. As above I think it's great that my parents had that all important time with her (they live three hours away so don't see her as often as they would like to). But when my daughter did stay with them we were only a short drive away if we needed to come back quickly. I think it's important to foster that grandparent relationship, I didn't really have that as three of my grandparents died and my grandad was blind so couldn't look after me alone. So happy that my daughter has that special relationship. As cookiej also said i agree that it is important for my partner and I to have to very occasional couple time. Think it is a little strong to say spending time away from children is "palming them off". What about parents who work and whose children are looked after by others? But the only people I would trust with my daughter are my parents.

Mon Jun 30, 2014 12:22 pm

vjm88

ED newbie

Joined: Thu Jul 18, 2013 7:47 pmPosts: 1

Re: leaving your baby.

What I mean by palming them off is when there isn't a need to. I don't want someone else to look after him when they don't need to. When I go back to work someone will have him other than his dad.

I am also pleased that I not the only one that feels like this. I was starting to feel like I was wrong about in doing it but now feel a bit happier. I love spending time with him and don't want to miss any of his first things.

Mon Jun 30, 2014 7:18 pm

zarajolly

ED newbie

Joined: Mon Apr 29, 2013 7:53 pmPosts: 1

Re: leaving your baby.

I don't at all trust my in laws with my LB. My parents in law are foster parents and have some horrible kids living with them. They put all the kids in the conservatory toy room and just leave them alone to play, shutting the bottom half of their stable door. I'm not having that happen to my baby. My sister in law and her husband are so irresponsible, I won't even leave my baby in the same room alone with them when I'm upstairs. They have a 3 year old that spend more time with her grandparents than with their parents.They all keep saying 'you'll have to leave Elijah with me and go out' 'give him to us and go out' 'well babysit' etc. we left him with my parents at 2 months to go for some pizza, have a little date night, but we lived with my parents at the time, and so it was my sons home, and he knew my parents very well. My dad watched him while I showered, and cooked tea, or whenever I left the room. I get incredibly anxious leaving my baby, my OH suspects mild PND. I'm going out with my friend tonight, and he's staying with my OH, and I'm anxious already! I have left him a total of 4 times for myself, excluding driving lessons every week.