I'll leave it up to the other writers here, the readers, and society to deservedly pick away at the criminal elements of Brown's carcass. To me, Michael Brown will always be the patriarch of the creepiest commercial on television. (And to be clear, it's a creepy ad even if the dude had a spotless arrest record.)

In honor of the likely hiatus of the Brown Hand Center spots from television for the foreseeable future (legal bills can be expensive), I give you ten commercials that give the BHC ads a run for their money on the creep-o-meter (heretofore referred to as the "Brown-o-meter".)

1. FIRST EVER RONALD MCDONALD COMMERCIALMessage Attempted: "Clowns are happy, this clown's eating a burger, therefore our burgers will make you happy!"
Message Accomplished: "Even clowns who act like they just woke up hungover are scary."

Footnote #1: I like how they flip the lights on and Ronald reacts like he just got caught jerking off to some Mayor McCheese porn.
Footnote #2: McDonald's has always been viewed as some sort of marketing juggernaut, and I guess the proof is in their longevity and brand awareness. That said, you can spend a week on YouTube looking at old McDonald's commercials that make you ask "What in the blue hell were they thinking?"

Footnote: This was the first commercial that the Orville Reddenbacher folks released after he passed away in 2007. I like how the producers casually mix in an mp3 player (a 2007 staple, of course) to send the message that "No this is really him today, not some hologram from 1986!" Very subtle.

Footnote: Nothing like having a product where all you have to do is say "Look how fucking cool these games are! Buy this! Tell your parents to buy this! Ready...GO!" and then completely butchering the advertising by trying to be clever. If advertising were sex, this is a classic case of the missionary position being more than enough to get the job done. These guys decided to go with some jacked up version of the kama sutra.

Footnote #1: I assumed this ad was from another country until the announcer spoke English at the end. Turns out the egg dude was just speaking drivel...or he was on acid...or both.
Footnote #2: Dumbest line in a nursery rhyme -- "All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again." Seriously, what help is a horse gonna be in trying to reassemble a gigantic broken egg? You need opposable thumbs for that shit.

Footnote #1: You gotta love someone who loves their craft so much that they "don't wanna make any money." This guy just really likes renting guns.
Footnote #2: Has anyone ever seen Don and the late Marvin Zindler in the same room? Just sayin'.

Footnote: Sight unseen, I'm going to put "the basement of Norton's" at the top of the list of places I never want to see. I just have a weird feeling the pawn shop in the gimp scene in Pulp Fiction was somehow patterned after this store.

Footnote #1: Favorite Roger moment in this ad -- his mad lip-synching skills.
Footnote #2: In a federal prison somewhere, there is an incarcerated pervert using this commercial as his scouting video for when Roger arrives "on campus." At that point, Roger will need to be more worried about how easy the soap is to hold onto, not the sticky film that it leaves behind.