Ileana & Mircea of Romania (Mircea died on 20 October /2 November 1916)

1/14 November 1916

Mama dear,

Can I write about it? Can I? Will I find the courage, and yet I want to tell you, just now, because in my unutterable despair it was you my heart called for, you, you, my old Mama from whom I am cruelly separated, from whom for two long terrible sorrow filled months I have had never a word.

Why was this to be? Who can tell? The popular belief is that God took him from me, to pray for his country that is in danger – so let it be!

He was so well lately, so jolly, so sweet. We are not living in town but in a house that has been „réquisitionnée” for us close by out in the country, Cotroceni being in a too exposed position in these days of aeroplanes and bombs.

One day he had a sore throat and sudden fever – but he did not seem ill with it, although the temperature was enormous. The doctor declared that it was „amigdalite” – the next day he has the same temperature, the it suddenly fell and and we thought all was over – but the next day up goes the temperature again and nothing can make it go down, it remains 40, 40… 40…. In despair I send for other doctors, there is a consultation, they take some of his blood and analyse it and find typhoid fever… that terrible illness that seems to follow our family and the male members of our family.

Three weeks of mortal anguish and nothing to be done. After one day’s hope when the temperature fell, it settled on the brain, and then all was in vain. Three doctors night and day fought for his life, but nothing was to be done. They tortured him with injections, with serums, with ballons d’oxygène, with bath, with wet towels, all in vain. Yet he resisted three weeks. I had always considered that he was a delicate child, but the doctors said that he must have had a wonderful constitution to resist as he did. At the end the heart failed, it gave way, it could no more and my little Mircea was taken from me on the 2 November, Aller seelen at 9 o’clock in the evening. I was holding his hand, my other hand lying on his head. He went out like a light that could burn no more. Continue reading →

Day of struggle and anguish, 3 times my Mircea nearly slipped away. Towards evening a ray of hope, night terrible.

Saw General Berthelot, had a long earnest conversation with him, as I consider that he is the man who must save our country as we cannot save ourselves. Told him my child was dying, that perhaps God would ask that sacrifice of me but that in spite of what absorbed my completely now, I wanted to speak to him of my country, so that I should not lose both at once! Have not the courage to write down our conversation, but I felt as though I was making my will.

Only a few words in the middle of the greatest agitations, but all going well and Baby enjoying it very much. We had a court ball, a big dinner and a concert, a private dinner and dance at Lord Farquhar and more opera then I quite can stand… All very amiable, especially the Majesties, no explanations or unpleasant conversations, Aunt Alix quite charming and remarkably “frisky”, enjoying life more than she did for years, all tell me so. Yesterday I went with her for a long auto drive in the country and as I have found her far more nervous than myself, I was not a bit ridiculous and sat in perfect calm. We had tea in the grass with some select people and dinner at Lady de Grey. Oh! You see, I am severely in for it, but I will do them all, as I am fresh and well, and they already tired! So I develop all my spirits and astound them! Non of your dull poor old Duchess, for I auftreten with the greatest aplomb and pounce upon all my acquaintances. Well, this will set me up again in London society and I stand it for a short time, but it is very fatiguing and I drop to sleep on an armchair even before luncheon and a frightfully correct page wakes me up with a start, to announce 2 o’clock and luncheon. The whole morning I have been seeing people and “gushing Gussy” is very trying, because she jabbers away and I never can turn her out of the room within a good half hour. This afternoon the Majesties go off to Windsor for Ascot week and we to Kensington which might just be a bit dull, for I don’t think Aunty B. cultivates much the society, nor sees many people. However, there are some invitations for Baby and myself. Imagine that she is quite different determined to amuse herself and danced with pleasure, sans se faire prier! What a good thing for her. We went once to Clarence House to tea and Aunt Alix came too. Well, it gave me a pang at first, but it is much changed and in many ways immensely improved, only my own rooms were much nicer before. Aunt Louischen always looks sour, so I don’t find that she is worse than before.

Has Ducky written to you to say, how all our efforts to arrange their marriage, miserably failed again and just as all seemed so well arranged! It is too wretched for words and now we again don’t know what to do. A last effort is being made by Erni H. and if that fails I think we must apply to the King and his kindness. The details I cannot write now, as I have only a short half hour to write and must end now, the mornings are always one series of interruptions and later on I am quite incapable. Aunt Alix would be so pleased to see you, but she says the 15th of July is too late. I saw the Astors, thought him also charming but advised him to let his moustache grow again… This Thursday I asked to go to Ascot to show baby this dull amusement, one day we can stand it. This week more opera but I prefer some amusing plays… You know that Ducky and Kyrill are at Langenburg, went all together in automobile.