Wednesday, September 29, 2010

I'm a little bit obsessed with 80s TV parents. I admit it. But with Sister Act being made into a Broadway musical (I shit you not) and the new 90210 slutting it up all over the CW like it's trying to slip America some U4EA to make us forget about the CLEARLY SUPERIOR ORIGINAL, I'm starting to feel like nothing is sacred. So I go to my happy place, which happens to be the Huxtable residence.

Seriously, this is my vision of heaven:

In heaven I will look good in all hats.

I know Bill Cosby is a sad sexual deviant now and Phylicia Rashad's last long-term TV gig was Touched by an Angel, but I am convinced that humanity will be saved if we can just get them back on prime time together. I know I already pitched my amazing documentary series/reality competition, My Twelve Dads, but here's my no-fail, ratings-bating sitcom idea:

Imagine, if you will, a retirement community in Florida. A cul-de-sac of bungalows. Who lives there? Well.

Heathcliff and Clair Huxtable, condo landlords, who spend their time bickering and scheming to get their youngest daughter, Rudy, to marry childhood BFF Kenny, aka "Bud," now a successful Internet entrepreneur.

Stephen and Elyse Keaton, who make and sell organic baked goods, and operate a "medical" marijuana business on the sly out of their garage.

Jason and Maggie Seaver, all milquetoast banter and buoyant hair, who've recently found Jesus thanks to their son Mike.

Dan and Roseanne Connor, who retired off of the profits from The Lanford Lunchbox and now collect and sell vintage bikes.

Tony Micelli and Angela Bauer, who own a local nightclub, Mona's, that caters to Boca's elderly cougar population.

Balki Bartokomous and Larry Appleton, who provide comic relief when they constantly get mistaken for lovers. (Balki runs a local aerobics studio, "Dance of Joy," while Larry takes Anne Geddes-like portraits of cats.)

...and Donna and Troy Garland, who struggle to hide Troy's alien status from the government so that they can collect Social Security... and struggle with their sex life after years of Troy not having an actual penis (watch for a close encounter between Donna and Cousin Larry during Sweeps Week!)

I don't even try to hide it anymore- every day I read your blog at work and LOL! And today I totally lost it!! The Keatons and Balki/Larry (I tried to make a portmanteau there but got nothing) were completely hilarious!! You are, indeed, the woman.

i would watch the FUCK out of this. seriously. i can't believe no one has picked this up. what you need to do is get some friends to actually act out an episode as those characters. then pitch that to the networks.

I would DVR the hell out of this show. I would be even MORE excited if you added Graham and Elizabeth Lubbock to the list of residents!

http://www.bestweekever.tv/bwe/images/2008/07/14261Just_Ten.jpg

Graham Jr. and Harvey have flown the coop, but the girls never gave up on their dream of stardom! The Lubbock Babes, consequently, are still living at home with Coach in-between gigs at bars whose patrons appreciate nasally renditions of golden oldies and show tunes set to a backing track.

The only thing I might add would be a degenerate time jumping bad boy, Sam Beckett, jaded due to experiencing the worst series finale in the history of television that shows up each week with a new woman from a different decade.

Excellent ideas! And BT Dubs, yesterday I spent five hours watching a marathon of The Cosby Show on BET. The only drawback being that I began seriously considering signing up for blackpeoplemeet.com by the end of it.

As a kid, we didn't have a TV 'til around the time Roseanne started airing, so I never really saw any of the other shows, but just the fact that Dan and Roseanne are in your hypothetical sit-com would be enough for me to watch every week! (In fact, I just took a break from my usual morning of History International to enjoy a Roseanne marathon on Oxygen.)