It’s No Picnic in the Senate

Happy Memorial Day Weekend! Time for summer fun! So let’s discuss Congressional gridlock.

Really, what did you expect? If you want a barbecue, go light some charcoal.

It’s been a while since we’ve talked about Congress. Do you remember when we used to complain all the time about how our legislators can’t get things done? Now we can go for weeks — months! — without even wondering what the little devils are up to.

Which is very, very little. “I don’t like to say this is the worst I’ve ever seen,” said Sarah Binder, a Congressional expert at the Brookings Institution, who thinks this is the worst she’s ever seen.

In the Senate, which is always the more interesting spot, the Republicans say they have to stall things because they’re protesting the way the majority leader, Harry Reid, bullies them around and won’t let them offer amendments.

It is definitely true that Harry Reid is not the most adorable personality on the planet. If Congress were a school, he would be the teacher nobody wants for homeroom. However, the Republicans’ complaint isn’t actually that they can’t propose any changes. They’re demanding their historic prerogative to propose changes that have nothing whatsoever to do with the subject at hand.

“That is part of the charm of this body,” said Senator Orrin Hatch, yearning for the good old days when “we all had a chance to bring up amendments whether they were germane or not.”

Hatch was trying to explain why his party was torpedoing a bill to extend a huge pile of tax benefits for everything from homeowners to students to Nascar racetracks. It was an extremely popular package, but it went nowhere. However, several Republicans congratulated Ron Wyden, the new Finance Committee chairman, for his great work in putting together a bipartisan piece of legislation that they were rejecting because of Reid’s refusal to entertain a series of charming amendments about Obamacare.

The minority leader, Mitch McConnell, claims that if the Republicans take control this fall, he’d allow endless amendments and force the senators to keep debating until they collapse. (“The fatigue factor is the best tool you have.”) And that could definitely be enjoyable.

But, for right now, let’s say a few words in memory of the recently deceased energy efficiency bill.

Oh, poor energy efficiency bill.

This one is the product of more than three years of labor by Democrat Jeanne Shaheen of New Hampshire and Republican Rob Portman of Ohio. It’s about encouraging people to install energy-efficient technologies in their homes and businesses. Nobody hates this bill. If this bill were an animal, it would have soft fur and cute perky ears. Senate staff members would save special treats for it. The Shaheen-Portman Energy Efficiency Bill would trot from office to office, purring happily and being stroked and tickled by the tourists.

Then it got squashed. “We thought — well, knowing Washington you never know till it’s over. But we thought we had an agreement,” said Shaheen sadly.

This was the second time in nine months that Shaheen and I had the exact same conversation. Last year, it was after the bill died because Reid refused to allow the Republicans to tack on some amendments about Obamacare.

This time, McConnell demanded a vote on the Keystone XL oil pipeline. But then Reid said he’d allow a vote on the Keystone pipeline. Then it was about ... other stuff. It was as if Reid had agreed to let the Republicans pick their salad dressing, and then McConnell decided they wanted an open menu that included options for kohlrabi and pickled seal.

“If the amendments are wild-eyed and ‘out there,’ they will surely be defeated,” Senator Jeff Flake of Arizona assured the Democrats, who seemed unpersuaded.

Some people blame the bill’s demise on Scott Brown, the former U.S. senator from Massachusetts who has now moved to New Hampshire to run against Shaheen. (Do you think the Brown campaign is actually being secretly recorded for a reality show? Think about it — a cute guy in a truck drives around the country, fixes up a home, runs against a woman for the Senate, and then moves on to a different state. You’d have all the political drama of “House of Cards” combined with the excitement of “House Hunters” and the sexual tension of “The Bachelor.”)

But about the energy bill. The theory is that Brown called the Republicans with whom he served in his previous incarnation as a senator and asked them not to give Shaheen a win. If that made the difference, it would have been the most significant thing Brown ever managed to achieve in his legislative career.