Scotland had oil, as the joke goes, but it’s running out thanks to all that deep frying going on at the ubiquitous chip shop, commonly known as the “chippie” – and I counted seven within a 5-minute walk of my new locale here just off of Glasgow’s Victoria Road.

But Scotland’s diet is no laughing matter, as it has the worst of any developed country in the western world, and the highest incidence of heart disease. And our “culinary” adventures with deep frying is the biggest culprit – you name it, and we’ll attempt to fry it, and invariably all washed down with a bottle of “the other national drink” of Irn Bru.

One delicacy is the deep-fried Mars Bar, covered in a protective layer of batter, and first reported as appearing on the chippie scene here in August 1995. And since then, the menu has stretched also to Snicker bars and Cadbury’s Creme Eggs. One Scottish chippie even came up recently with a new festive fare of the deep-fried yule log – all with a stonking great 950-calorie count.

And if you are off chocolate, there’s always the deep-fried pizza – and with some chip shops even going as far as adding chips in the pizza fold before deep frying. Other dishes include deep-fried black pudding and the deep-fried haggis, a speciality of one of my local chippies, The Flying Haggis.

Goodness, I can almost feel my arteries hardening just writing this blog.