Neville grad: Effects of bullying linger through life

David Hanks is now an actor on the West Coast, but nearly every day that David Hanks went to junior high school in the Monroe City Schools System he expected to be robbed. Being bullied changed his life forever. Barbara Leader looks at policies today as the school year is about to begin.(Photo: Courtesy Photo)

Story Highlights

Hanks considered suicide by drowning in a bathtub.

School staff is now required to be trained in how to handle bullying.

School officials monitor social media to watch for cyberbullying off school property.

Nearly every day David Hanks went to junior high school he expected to be robbed. He took it for granted because it happened most days of his seventh-grade year at least once. A gang of four or five bullies attacked him and stole his money.

A former Monroe resident and Neville graduate, Hanks, 26, now lives in Los Angeles and works as a playwright and an actor, but he still chokes with emotion as he recounts the torment and fear he endured at the hands of bullies.

The experiences changed his life forever.

"They had a system where they would hold me down and one person would stick their hands in my pockets and they would pass the money from one to the other, so I never knew who had the money," he said. That way, he couldn't recover the stolen money, even if he told an adult. The assistant principal discovered the boys would often hide the money in their socks and change clothes after robbing Hanks to prevent him from identifying them.

Hanks said he would usually get robbed once on the way into the school in the morning and once at lunch. He even got robbed in the bathroom stall of the boys restroom.

But that wasn't all.

"I got called faggot a lot," he said. "I was pricked with a needle that I was told had HIV on it."

Losing faith

As he was being held down and robbed, Hanks said he would think, "You can't look weak because you'll get robbed more," he said. "I would wonder, 'is this the point that I fight someone to prove I'm not someone to be picked on, or do I try to talk my way out of it, or just hand over the money?'"

Hanks said he often resorted to paying "a different bully who liked me because he thought I was funny" to protect him from the gang, but still he was constantly on the defensive, ready to protect himself at a moment's notice.

“To this day, I really don’t trust anyone. The sickest part of the whole thing is that I decided that good things don’t come to good people, they come to people who take them.”

David Hanks

The experience in junior high school has changed the way Hanks looks at the world.

At one point, he had a plan to commit suicide. "It was going to be bath water — I didn't want to do anything else," he said. "I went as far as to run the water once or twice and get in, but I got out."

Hanks said the school took action against the bullies and several adults helped him, but many of those who wanted to help, he now believes, didn't know how.

What schools are doing

Hanks' bullying happened more than 12 years ago. Laws now require anyone at a school who comes into contact with students to have two hours training each year on how to handle bullying. They must also be trained in suicide prevention.

Local school systems hope this will help curb the problem.

"We need to educate students so that they know how to ask for help," school psychologist Flint Smith said. "Most adults don't see most of the bullying that goes on."

Students also are encouraged not to be "passive bystanders" and to report any episodes of bullying they see.

Smith said the law requires administrators to conduct investigations on every report, to slow down and learn what's happening.

Schools and administrators also are addressing bullying that doesn't necessarily take place on the campus.

"We see a lot of cyberbullying instances, especially in the junior high and high school," Smith said. "The law doesn't specifically say anything about that, but in Ouachita Parish, we believe if it happens outside the school but affects the child in school, it is our issue."

Monroe City Schools Child Welfare Director Sallie Sutherland agrees.

"The scope of bullying has expanded with technology," she said. "Every day there is a new way to bully someone."

Sutherland said she stays in close contact with the district's instructional technology department to ensure that she's aware of the social media applications that students are using.

Schools also are implementing a positive behavior reinforcement program called Rachel's Challenge.

Lessons learned

"It's not like all the anti-bullying campaigns where they say people that bully are always insecure," Hanks said. "It's sometimes true, but I've found that to be the outlier, not the default. Most of them I knew were confident and simply saw me as a joke for amusement they could use to self-aggrandize or simply as an ATM."

Growing up in Monroe, Hanks said he found solace and a group of kids who shared his interests at the Strauss Theatre's Young Troupe. Acting and writing for the group gave him an outlet and a group of friends as a high school student.

Hanks believes it is essential for those bullied to eventually forgive those who bully them. "Don't let it define who you are," he said.

Now an adult, Hanks said his experiences as an adolescent have helped him to discover his talent as a writer. He writes children's plays that often have a bully role.

"I think what happened has made me someone with a lot of empathy," he said. "I've become very sensitive to the difference between good-natured teasing and genuine bullying. I have been able to use that to make the workshops I have taught places where everyone has had fun. I think it also taught me a lot about how the mind responds to negativity from itself and others."

Follow Barbara Leader on Twitter @barbaraleader1.

Louisiana's legal definition of bullying

A pattern of one or more of the following:

• gestures, including but not limited to obscene gestures and making faces;

• electronic communication including but not limited to a communication or image transmitted by email, instant message, text message, blog or social networking website, or through the use of a telephone, mobile phone, pager, computer or other electronic device;

• physical acts, including but not limited to hitting, kicking, pushing, tripping, choking, damaging personal property or unauthorized use of personal property;

• repeatedly and purposefully shunning or excluding from activities

Courtesy of Louisiana Department of Education

What parents can do

The parent/legal guardian of a bullied student may request a transfer to another school if a parent, legal guardian, teacher or other school official has made four or more reports of separate instances or bullying and no investigation has occurred.

The district must make space available for the student at another public elementary or secondary school under its jurisdiction within 10 school days of the transfer request.

If no other school that serves the bullied student's grade level is available within 15 days of the transfer request, the superintendent or head of the LEA must facilitate the student's enrollment in a statewide virtual school or offer the student placement in a full-time virtual program or virtual school.

Students may be transferred from one district to another.

If none of the options above are made available to the student within 30 days after the transfer request is made; the parent or legal guardian may request a hearing with the school's governing authority.

Courtesy: Louisiana Department of Education

Signs a child is being bullied

• Unexplainable injuries

• lost or destroyed clothing, books, electronics, or jewelry

• Frequent headaches or stomach aches, feeling sick or faking illness

• Changes in eating habits, like suddenly skipping meals or binge eating. Kids may come home from school hungry because they did not eat lunch.

• Difficulty sleeping or frequent nightmares

• Declining grades, loss of interest in schoolwork, or not wanting to go to school

• Sudden loss of friends or avoidance of social situations

• Feelings of helplessness or decreased self-esteem

• Self-destructive behaviors such as running away from home, harming themselves, or talking about suicide