So there’s this girl that started working at my job about three weeks ago. At first it seemed like she was way out of my league, considering we are from two different worlds (she comes from a wealthy family vs me and my broke ass). But it seems like we hit it off and I'm falling for her pretty hard. It seems too good to be true.

I think she feels the same way ‘cuz she's still talking to me after my ex harassed her. How do I know if she really is falling for me the way that I am? I'm afraid of getting hurt and going through the whole relationship process. Oh, and I have a child and she seems to be ok with this, but she is bothered that my ex (because of our child) is still in the picture.What should I do?

Anti-Risk Taker

Dear Anti-,

You need to give this girl a real chance. You seem to really like her, so why not see how it pans out? It’s only been three weeks, so it’s still the butterflies-in-the-stomach-nervous-giddy phase, which is GREAT. Relish it. Not everyone has that even at the beginning, so enjoy it and see if real love can kick in.

So I know you're “anti-risk,” but you have to change your perspective. No greatness has ever come without risk. You just have to take that leap of faith, suspend your disbelief and just go with it. I know it’s really hard, especially if you’ve had your heartbroken, but it could be well worth it in the end.

Now about your ex – this aspect is a whole other response. Your ex can’t go around harassing people. You need to check her. Otherwise, she will ruin any chance you have of finding love. I’m sure that if your ex were under control, it wouldn’t bother this girl that your ex is in the picture! BTW – I think it goes without saying that I advocate for you to “check” your ex, while also preserving the relationship you have with your child. When kids enter into the equation, they should always be #1 and then your new love #2.

Best,Natalise

P.S. SONG ASSIGNMENT - Listen to Matt Nathanson's "Faster." Love the lyrics. It's about that excitement you feel in a new relationship. Anybody that makes you feel this way is worth the risk. So have fun!

Maybe I'm simplifying it too much or I missed something but have you hung out w/ this girl outside of work? Coffee? Lunch break? Dinner? Seems like that would be a good place to start?

Sometimes the stale air of the office and the din of the flourescent light drives you a little loopy and it's easy to interpret your feelings to be different than what they truly are. Changing the environment will quickly tell you what's real and where your heart is...

she will dump you, you are poor....sorry, but a real woman doesnt want a broke ass.
just be glad you havent been left for a talking giraffe......btw....get a real job, and move outta your parents basement.

Actually, a real woman will be with someone poor if he is passionate and making an effort towards his goals. Confidence and passion is sexy. A woman who only marries for security will one day regret the choices she's made and probably be unhappy, bitter, or just sad... wondering "what if?"

Well technically im not "poor" I get paid pretty well at my other job. Also Mr.Chin if u think ur so bad ass try living in hawaii and getting a fkn job its hard on top of that the cost of living is insane. Btw I have my own place the down side is im sharing it with my baby mama. And btw I dont know a single person in hawaii who has a basement. N my parents are dead so yea been living on my own since 18 and I had to bust my ass to get where im at. Along with that most people in hawaii normally stay with their family cuz thats the culture here. And @KT yea we hung out ouside of work a few times. It sucks cuz her parents give her a curfe. And no shes not under age thats just aculture thing here in hawaii. You have stong ties with ur family and basically most ppl live with their parents helping them and other family members out to pay bills n stuff.

So what kind of advice would you give him if you knew that he had this thing going on with his co-worker behind her back? That he cheated on his girlfriend who is the mother of their baby a lot of different times? That he words his words and goes around hitting on every girl out there? When that girl knew that she was his girlfriend after, but still kept talking to him in that way?

surprised to see that my girlfriend commented (after we got back together) the whole co-worker thing didn't work out and seeing my baby mama with someone else hurt the crap out of me. Thank you Natalise for the advise and at least I can live my life with an oh well instead of what if. Going through this experience and seeing my girlfriend with someone else made me realize how much i still care about her