Regardless of political affiliation, I would find it very hard to believe that any Latino out there didn’t think San Antonio Mayor Julián Castro‘s keynote speech at the Democratic National Convention earlier this week was inspiring. Castro spoke so passionately and lovingly about his abuelita, his upbringing and all the hurdles his family has overcome that I’m sure many Latinos identified with him immediately.

Hearing him sprinkle his speech with Spanish here and there was music to my ears. But I, like many other Latinos out there, erroneously assumed he was bilingual. I don’t know if it was because during his speech he said his grandmother, who didn’t finish elementary school, taught herself to read and write in Spanish. Or because his mother, Rosie Castro, was a staunch supporter of the Chicano movement back in the 70s, belonging to a particular organization called La Raza Unida which believed maintaining the mother tongue was of extreme importance. Then again, maybe it was just wishful thinking on my part.

That’s why it was a letdown to discover that the current Latino star within the Democratic party “doesn’t really speak Spanish,” as Castro himself admitted in a New York Times profile back in 2010. Armed with this information, some in the media wasted no time launching into the tired, old-age debate about whether speaking Spanish makes you more or less of a real Latino. Really? Who cares? Saying that someone is not Latino enough if he doesn’t speak Spanish is as absurd as saying that someone is not American enough if he is bilingual.

In any event, while everyone debates that topic to death, I, on the other hand, am more intrigued by this: why is it exactly that Latinos like Julián Castro and many others like him don’t speak Spanish? While heartbreaking, the answer is very simple, as Castro’s own mother, Rosie, explained in an interview, this is what her teachers would do back when she was in school:

“They would charge us a quarter if you were caught speaking Spanish, and incidentally that’s how much lunch cost. We were put down so often that the message was clear — Spanish was a bad language that shouldn’t be spoken.”

Although it saddens my soul to hear comments like this one, I am no longer shocked by them. One of the most fascinating aspects of moving from Miami to Denver six years ago, has been getting to know an entirely new — and completely different — Latino culture than the one I was used to in the Cuban-American dominated city where I lived for almost 20 years. You see, the Mexican-American experience in the West and the Southwest is nothing like that of their Latin American counterparts in other parts of the country.

A few months after I arrived in Denver, I started noticing there was a much larger Latino population than I had originally thought. The majority, however, didn’t actually speak Spanish… and that was definitely shocking. After a while, I came to understand that for many, Spanish was a language that had caused them and their ancestors many sorrows, discrimination and hatred, just like Rosie Castro explained in the quote above.

Imagine then why a mom who grew up bilingual but felt the wrath of speaking Spanish would choose to teach their children her native tongue? I’m sure you can see how no mother in her right mind would want her children to be associated with a language that had brought her so much pain. Not to mention that for many immigrants learning to speak English is paramount to both them and their offspring — despite what many anti-immigration organizations would like us to believe. Add to that the many misconceptions surrounding bilingualism, including the unfounded idea that in order to learn English you need to forget Spanish, and you have the perfect answer to why Julián Castro and many other Latinos like him don’t really speak Spanish.

As discouraging as all this is, Ana and I want to — have to — believe that things are no longer like that, that things are changing. We know from the amazing community we’ve help put together right here that many Latinos who weren’t taught Spanish as children don’t want to follow in their parents’ footsteps. So they are doing everything within their power to reclaim that part of their heritage.

Not sure if Julián Castro is one of them — though that would be extraordinary. But I do know that, according to different news reports, he was at some point being instructed by a Spanish tutor. Hopefully he’ll decide to pass what he’s been learning to his beautiful little daughter Carina. Not because that will make them more or less Latino, but because I believe in the power of bilingualism. Plus, I’m sure that would make Julián’s abuelita smile down on them from heaven.

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As a Latina that doesn’t, in my opinion, really speak Spanish well enough to be fluent, I didn’t learn because it wasn’t my primary/first language growing up. I’m a third gen-er and my grandparents were native Spanish speakers. My mom was instructed by her mother to speak English at home so that my grandparents would learn to speak English. My Dad is halfsies, so he spoke both, but English, again, was dominant at school and amongst peers. English was the main language spoken at school and with friends, so it became my parents’ primary language as well..and then it became OUR primary language as kids growing up. Now I am pretty fluent when it comes to comprehending spoken and written Spanish, but when it comes to speaking it myself, the disaster ensues. My language? Spanglish. My kids are learning Spanglish and I wish I had the opportunity for Spanish immersion for them.
I might not speak Spanish, but my soul radiates my heritage. It’s a weird place for me to navigate.

Thanks for sharing your story! As I said in the post, one of the main concerns of the majority of immigrants is to learn English so they can have better opportunities. It makes total sense that they would want their children to learn English, so they could learn from them too. Sadly, lots of people were advised that in order to learn English, they had to forget their Spanish when nothing could be further from the truth.

Your wish that you had the opportunity for Spanish immersion for your children shows the desire that a lot of third generation Latinos have to somehow reclaim their families’ native language. My hope is that more and more Latinos who weren’t taught Spanish realize the benefits of bilingualism and start embracing the language of their ancestors.

Amazing it wasn’t that long ago, but I like to think we are all a lot more enlightened nowadays. I am not Latina but we are raising our family in a Spanish-speaking country as long as possible, as I really think kids should be given the gift of two languages (at least) before they have to struggle to learn as I do. Though your article speaks about connecting with cultural and linguistic roots, I think the argument is just as powerful that those from the (up to now) dominant Anglo culture should have a connection with another culture/language, not breeze through life as mono-linguists!

Congrats on choosing to gift your children with two languages! I would love for mine to have the experience of living in a Spanish-speaking country! How awesome!

I’m 100% percent with you in terms of how everyone should embrace bilingualism, especially those who haven’t explored the idea because of myths and misconceptions regarding other cultures and languages. In fact, a good part of our readers are those who, like you, are not Latina, but are making sure their kids grow up speaking Spanish.

I agree 100% … Julián Castro being monolingual means only one thing for certain, and that is simply that he’s not bilingual.

I can’t understand people who are of the mindset that they feel it’s appropriate to judge another person’s “ethnic authenticity.” I suspect that anyone who would question an individual’s right to claim their heritage must be insecure in themselves.

I’m honestly done with that debate because I don’t see the importance behind it. Plus, I think the more informed people are as to why so many Latinos don’t speak Spanish, the less they’ll ask whether they’re Latino enough or not. It’s a sad reality, but the majority of the people in this country don’t really know their history. They don’t know about the discrimination many Mexican-American faced in this country even though it wasn’t that long ago. In Colorado, for example, Mexican-Americans were equated with animals and many establishments would have signs prohibiting them and dogs from entering!

It may just be human nature: We’ve had many, many immigrants from other countries in over 200 years, and by the second or third generation, most of their descendants speak American English. I don’t think people who identify themselves as Italian-American or Irish-American feel any less so because they only know a little bit of Italian or Gaelic. That said, I think it would be wonderful to be bi- or tri-lingual, as so many Europeans have to be to communicate with those in neighboring countries. And I think it is shameful to force people to give up their native language. But I would hope that the Chicano community looks upon the Castro twins with great pride, no matter what their language. Hell, I’m not Chicano and I am proud of the speech Julian Castro made, because the ideals he talked about are the ones I believe in for America.

When I was growing up in Miami many moons ago, my parents forbade me from speaking English at home so I could grow up fully bilingual. English was for the streets and schools, the world out there, but not for home. So when I open my mouth now, you’d never know I was Hispanic. The consequence was, however, that my parents never mastered English like they could have. I think it’s just a question of how far along a family has lived in this country. If I had had children, I would have taught them Spanish, but what about their children and so on? That still doesn’t take away Latino roots.

I will confess, however, the fact that so much business in Miami is conducted in Spanish often frustrates me, even if command both languages. But then you get these instant “mi amor” y “mi cielo” from a stranger, which brings this kind of warm familiarity that no “gringo” could ever know … or at least I have only encountered in the South with people who are sweet and friendly.

This question of language didn’t begin or end with this election. Language is a living, evolving thing. And identity has nothing to do with it. Just because you don’t speak your “mother tongue” doesn’t mean you don’t identify with your immediate culture. And for full bilinguals like myself, it gets even more complicated. I feel as American as anyone else, but I’m Hispanic, too. It’s a moot point to even question it.

I speak Spanish but am not Latina (not fluent but I get by) here in Mexico. My son-in-law is Mexican but has not taught his children to speak Spanish. (They live in the US now.) I have no idea why, and my daughter and I have argued with him about it for years. My oldest two grandkids came to Mexico for two years at 2 and 4 years old and left speaking Spanish fluently (at a child’s level) but lost it all. The kids are now 17, 15, 12, 10 & 7 and not a one of them can say more than hola y gracias. My sil loves his country, and we don’t understand why he won’t teach them. The plan was to return here to live sometime in their future when they had their own home. That hasn’t happened either. ?????????

Very interesting, Karen. Have you asked your SIL straight out why he hasn’t taught his children to speak Spanish? What does he say when you and your daughter argue with him about it? There must be some kind of explanation, maybe something happened to him because of his Spanish and he doesn’t want the same for his kids?…

Oh, my goodness, yes. I live across the street from his parents and they have bugged him too. The most we have gotten in over twelve years of asking is that it is too hard because the kids ignore him (half are teens, they ignore him in English, too) and don’t understand him. He speaks Spanish with friends and when he is working but since they left here (Mexico) in 2002, he hasn’t spoken to the kids in Spanish. He is a really great guy and we are at a loss as to why he doesn’t want to, especially since they plan on returning here one day.

Good for you and for your parents, Maria de los Angeles! While I agree that how many generations immigrants have been here, I also know that, at least in this part of the country, discrimination and myths, had a lot to do with the loss of Spanish — something not really experienced in Miami.

And yes, I know exactly what you’re talking about re: Miami and the amount of Spanish spoken there. For me, it was a blessing when I arrived there as a 14-year-old. Not because I didn’t speak English — I had the blessing of going to a bilingual school back home — but because it made me feel much more comfortable and at home to hear so many people speaking my native language. I will tell you that now that I live in Colorado, I miss that part of Miami like crazy… and the food, and the ocean and the overall warm familiarity you describe so well!

Although Ive never experienced racism personally, I can remember waiting at a bus stop with my mom when I was little, and this metiche old white lady told my mom never to speak to me in English so that I wouldn’t get her strong accent. My mom wanting the best for me never did, which is probably why I’m bilingual now. I know that mexicans especially in California experienced a lot of racism. The result, when I taught in California there were 3 other kindergarten teachers I taught with, all slightly older than me, all 3 Mexican American , none of which spoke Spanish. Sad.

As an ELL teacher I try to always encourage parents to continue not only speaking, but reading to their kids in the native language. Many of my older students can still speak Spanish, but cannot read or write in Spanish. It not only helps kids keep pride in their language and heritage, but research shows it helps them academically even in an English only school!

thank you Natalie! we have even in this day and age despite all the facts and research some teachers here in Texas telling parents they should speak incorrect, limited English with the children instead of Spanish at home. thanks for encouraging parents with the true information. don’t ever stop!

this has been my experience too. we are raising our kids bilingual and it is my side of the family, non-hispanic, who are very supportive and even excited. for whatever reason almost everyone on my husband’s side, who are actually immigrants, no matter how many times we ask, they won’t stop using English toward the kids. in fact it ends up being the worst possible thing in terms of their brain development for the kids, because the adults don’t have a strong command of English so instead of rich complete Spanish the kids hear partial incorrect English and some Spanish all mixed together. i’m very thankful for my husband trying to be strong in Spanish-only at home but the insistence has only been since i came along and i worry about my stepson. he finds it hard to function in either language. this year i managed to get him in a dual-language school which should help him straighten the two languages out. it makes me feel sad for all the many kids who don’t go to that type of school and have the same kind of challenge.

Is SO sad what happened to Julian Castro and it’s STILL happening with many families that don’t see the benefits of bilingualism, it is pure missinformation and we can all make a big difference staring with our kids and our communities, ¡si podemos!

It’s so sad that Julian graduated from Stanford and Harvard and is a successful mayor…come on. If he wanted to study Spanish he would have done so. Not everybody of Hispanic descent is interested in speaking Spanish. After a certain number of generations here people tend to assimilate and that’s normal.

The reason Miami is so bilingual, is that the most of the Hispanics there are recent arrivals who came here in 1959 or after. Contrast that to Mexicans who have been in the Southwest for hundreds of years.

I came from Cuba when I was five. There was nobody cobrando 25 cents for speaking Spanish, but in school, ser diferente was definitely not what you wanted to be. I always wanted to be like everybody else, porque me sentí nerdy enough that I didn’t want another handicap. Also important to mencionar is that I had almost no classmates que hablaran español.

So it can be very subtle, the pressure to speak the dominant language, yet the less you speak the language of your home, the less you will remember.

I was very fortunate to meet muchos latinos in college, who helped me get my Spanish back, and I also took Spanish Language and Literature courses. Now I can stay with my primos in Miami for weeks without having to speak a word of English.

So glad I found out about your book. I am an immigrant who came to this country when I was 5. I am fluent in both english and spanish. I now have kids but english is our primary language in our home. I want so badly to break this and start speaking conversational spanish but I am afraid to confuse my kids and slow down their english comprehension. I know they are little sponges right now but I fear my english could have been better if I spoke it at home all my life. I never excelled in reading comprehension and vocab when I went to school and I think it could have been because of this. I will never know but I am looking forward to your book. Thanks!

Maria, in my line of work I have gotten to know many people raised bilingual and trilingual, and a few even quadrilingual, in various languages. When I ask them about their childhood they tell me as children they did have times when one language or another was not coming easily for them — so, if they were being evaluated at school in only language, they seemed “behind” — although they were functioning at a high level in the other language(s). But they’ve also told me without exception that this was a very short-term situation. Kids do catch up, and pretty quickly really. As adults they do still find one language stronger or weaker than the others, but we are talking about being able to write polished business presentations in one and able to write business letters PLUS poetry in the other. When I know somebody who isn’t as functional as they might like in one of their languages, even though they learned it as a child, they tell me they lost being in it due to their family moving or something like that — so it is because it was somehow dropped — not because of other languages interfering. However, most of the time, when they are not fully fluent in something it is because the language is their third, fourth, fifth, sixth, or seventh language that they are adding as an adult. And I have noticed a lot of bilingual and trilingual people do seem to be able to just add languages as easily as another person takes up skiing or quilting.
You will find this is the research that is out there as well. I just wanted to tell you I see this in my own life and it is really true. We have even had some of our children’s teachers telling us that it’s a zero-sum game (you learn another language at the expense of your first) and maybe when they are seeing a child only nine or ten months and then never again that be might the way it looks.

Then how do you explain why so many Latinos lack fluency both English and Spanish? I am tired of seeing Latinos who speak Spanglish, or who have to translate in their heads when they try to speak English. That holds Latinos back.

There are basically two reasons for that.
A. Because parents choose to speak to their children in less-than-fully-fluent English, rather than providing a rich language model while the children’s brains are in the critical early years, allowing them to learn correct Spanish when they are little and then learn correct English when they go to school. Instead, many children are unfortunately handed the challenge that my stepson is going through right now. He cannot function fully in Spanish, and neither can he function fully in English. This is because his mother (after splitting up from their dad when my stepson was two years old) started pushing English in her home, although her English is not good. By contrast his older sister, my stepdaughter, lived entirely in Spanish until she started school at age 5. She could function of course in Spanish already, and learned English at school. In her first two years she struggled with English (although getting high marks in Math). However, after that relatively short time, she took off. She’s currently in 6th grade, functions completely well in Spanish and is working above grade level in English. I have seen this repeated across the family with my nieces and nephews. Parents who insist on Spanish in the home raise children who can more easily master both languages.
B. There is a strong socioeconomic component in language development. This is echoed in other ethnic groups such as the Black-White gap. There is a strong and well-documented relationship between recent-immigrant status — lack of educational opportunity “back home” — and things like TV overuse, not reading at bedtime, not showing up for parent conferences at school, and habits like “children don’t ask questions” and “children don’t talk at the table”. (And yes, again I am speaking from direct experience as well.) This is not present in many other immigrant communities, such as people from India and China, where the immigrants tend to be as educated than Americans in general, even more so, and as a group have significantly higher-paying jobs here compared to Spanish-speaking immigrants. So speaking Spanish gets the rap for things that are really caused by poverty.

p.s. I sincerely hope I don’t sound too critical. I know my husband would show up for every parent-teacher conference if he weren’t working! As a line cook it is difficult for him to get the time off. Likewise on a summer afternoon when I walk into the house and I can tell the kids have been playing video games for hours, I understand their dad is asleep on the couch because he just came off double shifts three days in a row (we have to make ends meet).

I hope I don’t sound like a mother that does not care. My husband is black and I’m originally from Honduras but raised in Miami, Florida. My mother does not speak English so we mainly spoke Spanish in our house. I loved this article and I guess I have more of a question and I’m so glad I found this community. 10 yrs ago I moved to Savannah GA where Spanish is really not spoken. I married my husband who doesn’t speak Spanish and soon after I had my two children. They are 3 and 6 yrs old. Neither of them speak Spanish and my husband gets upset very often because I don’t teach them. My mother and I are no longer talking to each other. She disowned me 10 yrs ago when i decided to marry my husband (racism in her part) I still don’t understand why I can’t bring myself to teach them. I’m a Partially Certified Court Interpreter and a Cert. Paralegal. I don’t speak Spanish in a daily basis due to the lack of hispanic friends. I speak small phrases to them and they seem to understand the simple things. I love my children to death and I do want them to know my native language. Any tips on how I can teach them??

Elena, don’t feel so guilty!
How about getting some special books, choosing them with the kids, make an event of it… and then every evening, make it your special reading time with them – in Spanish? But you sound terribly stressed about this, just have fun with it Make it part of your special time with them (even things like cooking, or going for a walk) and keep it associated with closeness and positivity. Best of luck!

Thanks Terri for replying so quickly!! I am stressed mainly because my husband gets frustrated, and I really don’t have a logical answer or explanation as to why “I don’t speak” spanish to them. I wonder if is because the situation between me and my family (lack of support from everyone although 10 yrs have passed and 2 beautiful children have been born), Do i feel embarrassed? I will buy spanish books, to be honest I think out of the entire million of books they own only 1 is in Spanish and it never gets touched! Thanks for the suggestions, maybe Daddy can do the “school book readings” and I will do the bedtime readings in spanish. They do know the primary colors in spanish…THANKS TO DORA!! is so sad, it makes me want to cry sometimes

Elena, I loved Terri’s response. Never feel guilty about the decisions you make as a mother if in the end, one way or another, they are for your family.
I do think you feel regret already and the last thing you want is for your children to blame you for not learning. It’s still not too late and it’s great you have your husband’s support.
For starters, you will need to be convinced this is something you truly want to do. Since it will be difficult to start speaking only in Spanish to them from one day to the next, my advice is to try the Time and Place method. This means you can choose a day or more out of the week when Spanish rules. You can make it fun and a family event. This is very successful for many families.
Do you have any options for dual language immersion programs? If not, then try to find a fun and immersive language class for them. Talk to them about where you come from, how you grew up, why you speak Spanish, etc. Show them you love the language and they will too.
And we’re here to support!

Little kids want to communicate with their moms, and you want to communicate with them, so using second language is not the most effective way to speak: In my experience, this can lead to a natural reticence on both parts.

For you, find some Spanish speakers to hang with. Get back in the rhythm of enjoying your language, not seeing it as something you are failing at as a parent and have lost with your mother!

And if your husband is so frustrated, he can learn it too and speak with them, perhaps Spanish theme meals or activities. Make it a fiesta experience!

But what really sticks out is your feeling of guilt and stress about this; I would suggest you need to shake it if you want them to begin to love your language; and it will be better for you too

I have to agree with Terri.
Maybe Spanish is something you need to claim as your own, now, as part of what your family is and by that I mean your husband and kids. Sounds to me like all three of them already decided they like it.

Thank you ladies!! I found a Spanish Speaker lady in my son’s Karate class, she is from peru and she only speaks spanish and it really felt different speaking only spanish and realized I had forgotten some words. so we have planned some play dates for the boys. I have purchased a book called “My first 100 words in Spanish”, it highlights the basic and simple words, (i.e. colors, animals, fruits, parts of body and words like mother, sister, brother etc.) it has very bright and fun pictures and we will try it tonight. We also have “latin nights”, those are the days when I do my versions of tacos and.or chicken nachos.
I welcome suggestions and opinions, I do not get offended unless of course you call me names…LOL I appreciate your thoughts and opinions, knowing I’m not alone and that I may not be the only one going through this makes me feel better. I also searching for books about “Honduras” and let them see pics. THANKS a million!!! Also, I have decided to document our “Journey” in my blog. I realized that I enjoy writing and sharing, and who knows, maybe I can help others out there that are going through the same thing. Thank you ladies for making my day!!

Elena, I feel for you and you know what, language is always wrapped up in a bunch of very strong emotions (just look at the politics in this country right now!). If you are trying and working on it, you are ahead of the game. I promise kids do notice your effort toward things you believe to be important/good. That really does mean a lot for their attitudes in turn.
Whatever support you can arrange like classes or organized resources will help you a lot. But even if you have a hard time arranging that sometimes, listen, I only started with Spanish in my 30′s and I did take a very brief class but 99.9% of it was just asking any Spanish speakers I could find to look at my little notebook for me, and just try, try, try to speak. I am from Dayton Ohio (maybe even fewer Hispanic people than Savannah?) and after moving to Houston I was here almost two years before I was lucky and made a connection with a Spanish-speaking neighbor who sort of took me under her wing. I am telling you this because I’m living proof it is never too late nor is it necessary to give up just because the resources aren’t obvious. I will never say I’m bilingual, like kids can be, but I’m very fluent. If I could get to where I am in middle age just think what your kids can do. They have a head start, lots of childhood left, and a live-in loving coach! Keep at it and seek out support from whomever will lift you up and help your beautiful kids feel positive and energized about it too. I try to remember to come visit not just the new posts but also the old pages in Spanglishbaby.com frequently. Everyone needs the boost and the positive influence.

Thanks Beth! I think I have spent most of my afternoon browsing the site!! I became a member of clubmami, and printed a couple of articles about raising bilingual children, tips on how to teach them and things like that. I def. can use the positive influence!!!

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Nice piece. The good news for all the mostly Southwest generations who encountered the rough treatment, is that not only have a number of us reclaimed the language in our own lives, but a generation of non Spanish speaking Latinos brought us bilingual education and the free flowing opportunities to enjoy both languages we enjoy today….

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Roxana is a bilingual and bicultural mamá to Vanessa, an inquisitive second-grader, and Santiago, an adventurous preKindie – both of whom are growing up between two worlds and in two languages. A long-time journalist, Roxana oversees SpanglishBaby's editorial content.