With the launch of Google's new webmaster tool, here are other things we'd like to disavow

Update: So Much More Than Links to Disavow Yesterday at Pubcon, Matt Cutts released to the world the long-awaited disavow links tool from Google. Finally, we have the option to discredit some of those crappy comment links and spun articles that some spam-slinging soul previously put out there. SEOs rejoiced. Doves were released. But this got us thinking: If we could, what else would we disavow?
Here are things we’d like to distance ourselves from:

I would also like to disavow the memory of PVR in a unitard at my first retreat.

Amy Moczynski

I’d like to disavow something that allegedly happened during the Swamp Dash. As I was crawling through a dark, 40-foot tunnel beneath the ground, it may have appeared to observers at the tunnel exit that I, upon coming face-to-face with a small frog waiting at the tunnel mouth, both a) strongly considered crawling backwards through the tunnel (forcing the three people behind me to also go backwards), and then after totally calm and careful deliberation b) threw mud and dirt at this quarter-sized frog until it hopped far enough away for me to scramble out of the tunnel in a dignified fashion. I’d like to disavow any knowledge of said event and assure everyone that I am in no way terrified of frogs of any size. It simply never happened.

Michael Cushing

Back in high school I used to “DJ,” rather it was me just cutting some songs and mixing them together on a crappy Winamp plugin. Anyway, I’m sure some of my songs are floating somewhere on the internet or file sharing server. I would disavow having anything to do with those songs because they’re so cheesy. ::shrugs::

Rainier Fuclan

I would like to disavow Carly Rae Jepson. Period. I would like to disavow me doing the hokey pokey on stage at a piano bar for my 24th birthday. I would like to disavow Yahoo. And maybe Google+. I would like to disavow tequila. I would like to disavow the new Facebook emoticons.