About 40 Whatever

BFF's Bad Kitty of Wishbone Clover and Stefania of CityMama are turning 40 this year and we're milking it to death, just like Jennifer Aniston. Will John Mayer write us a special 40th birthday song? No? Whatever.

Act your age

04/02/2009

Here we are about to turn 40 and I just have one question: what are we supposed to wear?

I was talking to my friend Pamela yesterday (who, by the way, always looks smashing and is a fashion icon in her own right) and she posed the questions, "Can I still shop at Anthropologie? Or Target?" And I was all, "I covet the Tory Burch jelly ballet flats but are they too ridiculous for a 40-year-old?" (Never mind that I'd never pay $95 for them...)

In the end we decided that our feet are sweatier now than in the 80's when we last wore jellies, but we really didn't have an answer to the "what do we wear?" question.

So what does a 40-year-old wear? I have to say, I pretty much thumb my nose at all of the fashion rules. I am the queen of seasonally inappropriate footwear and wear my flip-flops--even white ones--well into the winter. I was born in Hawaii and live in Northern California and it's not that cold here. Bad Kitty and I pretty much agree that white is a year-round color so fuck the Labor Day-Memorial Day rule. We follow the P. Diddy rule.

And, as a plus-sized laydee, I can't shop at places like Anthropologie where a size 14 is really just a size they make for Japanese girls with boob jobs. I do shop Target and Old Navy and Gap Tall and have a closet-full of INC and Calvin Klein and Michael Kors because they make stuff I can wear. I still wear my black jelly bracelets (the kind from high school), and I love accessories, especially mixing family heirloom jewelry with stuff from Claire's, and yeah, I probably skew a little young, but does 40 mean suddenly having to dress your age? And what does that mean anyway?

Does it mean this? Seriously. Click on the video, you'll want to slash your wrists as soon as you hear the music.

I know ironic tees and probably braids and maybe even shorts are out for people my age, but will I have to start wearing pleated khakis? Or colors like soft teal and lavender? It's bad enough that I already wear the bathing suit with the skirt. (Which, yeah, okay, I love.) Will I have to start shopping at Chico's or LL Bean or far back wall at Target? Please don't make me go there. I like the rounders by the aisle. I'd rather die than put on anything made of faille or wool or adorned with French cuffs or that dowdy Ferragamo bow. And I rather die than shop at a store that sells sunglasses and purses to match the clothes. That's not even fine when your 5 and it's Gymboree. Will I have to trade my metallic gladiator sandals for sensible pumps? Stop streaking my hair every color of the rainbow? All I know is: we're turning 40 and we're in a fashion black hole. Where's that hot bitch Tim Gunn when you need him?

So tell me. What are your thoughts on this? What too-young-for-you clothing item or accessories will they have to pry off your cold, dead body? And, who are you wearing?

03/26/2009

That's me in junior high, and approximately how old I feel most days. Before you ask, yes, I have big plans to sell that vintage high collar shirt on eBay. The 80s are back!

For the past couple of years, as my friends turn 40, the big thing has been, "Oh, yeah, I got my mammogram. It hurt/was a non-event/I have to go get a biopsy."

So far my immediate circle of friends have all been okay in the long run, but a few of them have gone through the giant needle biopsy, and even chemo/mastectomy/radiation.

It sucks, but breast cancer isn't the automatic death sentence it used to be. Still, it's not something you want to deal with on top of doing your taxes and shit.

I'm probably fine -- I do self-exams, and my family doesn't have a history of it. So that's not why I can't get around to setting up my mammogram appointment. At least, I don't think so.

It's probably something about not believing that I'm finally old enough to need one.

Maybe on my birthday, or maybe when I finally get my mammogram, This Forty Thing will finally sink in. Until then, I feel somewhere between 13 to 17ish, depending on the day and how good my bangs are feathering.

40 Whatever Approved

Things to Do When We're 40 (The Not Bucket List)

A barbecue tour of the South

We'll start in the Carolinas and end in Texas and sample the best barbecue America has to offer. Why? Because we like meat.

Hotel Living

We like: mini bars, movies, and lounging around in our pajamas with our laptops right where they are supposed to be. We'll bring running shoes to pretend like we're going to work out, but really, who are we kidding. You see where this is going?

Knock some sense into dumb people

We'd love to be the camp counselors on a show like the Real World or Rock of Love.

Eating Dinner in a Vineyard While the Sun Sets

You know those scenes of a dining table set in a Tuscan or Sonoma vineyard dressed with beautiful linens and people sitting around it drinking wine and eating and laughing while the sun goes down? We want to be those people.

Yoga Retreat in New Mexico

Some of our fondest memories are of spending time doing yoga together. Do other wannabe yoginis spend the entire class laughing together? We do.