How did you get my number?

The other day my ex from a million years ago called me. Why did he call? Well, I wondered that myself....until he said...

Ex:I called because I was thinking about you (which, at least is not as bad as "because I had a dream about you" - which was the reason given to me the last time I got a weird call)

Me:hmmm....okay. How did you get my work number?

Ex: Well, i knew what company you worked for, so i just called around a bit.

Me: Oh (possible stalker alert)

Ex:Would you like to go to coffee sometime?

Me:Hmmm...No, I dont think thats a good idea.

Ex:Why?

Me:because i dont want to. Plus It would be weird..... (and he only seems to "look me up" when he is having a life crisis)

Ex: I think your reading too much into this

Me: Maybe I am , but thats what I think.

>

When I got home I told The Boyf about the call. The Boyf , who is not a jealous type, obviously didn't seem to mind too much that one of my ex's had called me and even said I could go to coffee if I wanted to (which I don't). Though, I think we both found it odd that he still randomly calls.

>

Will I go to coffee with my ex sometime? NO. I dont think there is any point to having coffee with him, I dont want to be his friend and I really feel that most ex's are best left in the past -

That's weird. My ex called last year and wanted to get coffee. I told him no as well. He cheated after 5 years so I feel that because of that, he doesn't get to be my friend. . . EVER! :-)Good for you!Have a great day!

My guy is the jealous type,for sure and I really don't have that many ex-s to account for.Some people have it easy see? lol.But if I did,I sure wouldn't be having coffee with him.The ex sounds like a fair weather mate type of person,and your boyf sounds amazing,so GO YOU!you did the right thing.Don't you care about people who would get matey when they need something and speculate about your existence the rest of the time.Sorry I double posted :(

My last b/f ended it in Jan 2002. He wasn't a bad guy, he just wanted his religion (I wasn't interested) and he wasn't the person I fell in love with anymore.

I felt that I'd hear from him again (woman's intuition) and, in Sept, I did. He got married, in July, to someone he'd known just 4 months. He called because "I'm lonely". Digging deeper, I found out he was separated.

He called me every couple months (I never called him) and I'd talk because we'd been friends first. But I met my current man in Dec 2003 and things changed.

I told the ex about meeting my man and he was curious about him. I told my man about talking to the ex and he was okay with it.

Anyway, I was talking to the ex when my man called on my cell. Of course, I took the call. That irritated the ex (his moodiness always irritated me) and I haven't heard from him since. Yippee! lol!

I am on good terms with all but two ex's, so I'd gladly go out to coffee with any of them. However, if it ended not-so-well, and you haven't talked in ages, and he had to stalk you to find your number, and he only calls when he's having a crisis...I'm thinking TOO MANY RED FLAGS!! Good call on saying no.

My ex boyfriend always asks to have coffee and since I live 4 provinces away, it's kind of impossible to fit a coffee date into a two week vacation so it never happens. I'm always baffled that he keeps suggesting it! Good for you for saying no though!

No ex-boyfs have ever called me years down the line. One did, however, accuse me of stealing a necklace *I* bought for him as a valentine's gift. Made for a really solid post-break-up friendship, that did.

Got a weird one from an ex-girlfriend once on New Year's Eve, she left a message on my answering machine at 11:30am...drunk as a skunk......needless to say I never called her back. You are right about one thing....they only call when they hare having a 'crisis'......I don't need someone elses crisis.....that is what counselors are for....go pay for it.

I think my hubby would be ok with me going if I wanted to - I love trusting guys; my BIL is so jealous of my sister it's bizarre! But you made the right call not going.

Funny story: The boyfriend I had before I met my hubby actually broke up with me by never calling me again. Yup. That was his dodgy cowardly way of getting out of our relationship. Luckily I wasn't madly into him or there would have been tears. The funny thing is he was sooo much more into me (or so I thought!) than I into him. Anyway, I'm waiting for the day I bump into him, so that I can suggest we "see other people". Mwahaha. I last heard from him in 2002...hubby says our relationship expired ages ago, but *technically* I'm still going out with him! :P

Oh yes....he called singing Van Morrison's 'Have I Told You Lately That I Loved You.' He was considerably older than I was....and had moved hours away to a different city. I hadn't talked to him in months, and he called me out of the blue, singing.

My current boyfriend (now hubby) was less than pleased.

Same guy showed up at our doorstep three years ago, out of the blue. Luckily, again, hubby was home. The three of us sat in the living room, making uncomfortable conversation, for about an hour.

i don't know.. our hearts are funny moochie things, that cannot be summarized in any amount of words, sometimes they sing, sometimes they cry, sometimes they're soft, sometimes they are just moochie! can't chain this on anything.. enjoy the freedom your heart sometimes create.. but sometimes you need to crack your heart open before you can feel the freedom your heart can offer.. i e-mailed me ex once, it felt crap, she hates me, but i had to crack it open.. today i feel healed! it was needed!

Reading the comments, I'm kind of surprised that so many people assumed he only wanted to sleep with you.

Uh. I think if an ex called me, it might be because there's something about who I am that he doesn't have in his life, and is looking to maintain connection with. That's not a bad thing; that's how friendship works. For example: one of my exes is pretty much the only person I still talk to from high school. We catch up once a year or so, and I know that what I get out of our friendship is reconnecting with that time in my life.

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My name is Janine and I started this lifestyle blog in 2008. I'm a South African, who loves to travel and try new things. I haven't been everywhere yet, but its on my list. Home is currently Cape Town, SA.

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