Slightly more than even less of a blank home page than it was last time
it wasn't a blank home page

Hi, I'm still Matthew Garrett. This is my website. As before it will
tell you absolutely nothing about me*, but now it does so a little less
verbosely. You should probably be grateful for this, or something.

If you want to know anything about me, visit the About Matthew page and then come and find me and
ask me instead*.

If you failed to understand any of the preceeding paragraph, please
don't attempt to enter into any sort of communication with me. I'll just
be irritated with you to an entirely ludicrous degree, and you'll end up with
something like this. Because I care, dammit*.

There was a paragraph here, but I got bored of the bit of it that I was
responsible for and the "compare and contrast" example that formed the other
bit has been taken down by its
original author which might (thinking optimistically) be due to him
realising that it was horrible and wrong and stuff but is probably due to
him accidently deleting it like a fool or something*.

Somebody else's collection of links to people that I know, saving me
large amounts of effort: links* (actually
working again now, after being broken for 8 months. Thanks, me)

It should be noted that Matthew is often very annoyed with every
living thing on the planet, because he cares too much and you
all seem intent on proving how unbelievably stupid you all
are. As a result, you can now get live updates on how angry
Matthew is from here*

I do other things and have other interests. As hinted at above, come
and find me if you're actually interested in finding out what they
are. Anything else that I'm working on that's potentially useful will
be linked to from relevant places as opposed to here. Now go away and
stop bothering me. I have enough disturbing stalkers as it is*. If you've identified a skill that I have and are interested in hiring me, please see my rates for work.

If you want to email me confidentially and alert the government that you're
up to something while simultaneously implicating me, my GPG fingerprint is here. You should note that I do not run this server, and so the fingerprint has probably been replaced by The Man. My key is here - similar provisos apply. I am none of the other Matthew Garretts you may find there.

If you are a hyper-paranoid conspiracy theory loon, on the other hand, please go away.