I don't feel like I have anyone that I can talk with about this who will understand, so I thought I'ld share with you all and see if anyone else has had a similar experience or some good advice.

And, please - no harsh remarks or judgment. I can't handle that right now.

Okay, here we go... I have been gluten free for a little over 16 months and my recovery has been very slow, I haven't really had any improvement untill I started a grain free diet 4 months ago.

When I first found out I had Celiac I had too high of expectations of feeling better within a couple of months of going gluten free, which I think made me more discouraged through it all. I have been struggling with depression and extreme anxiety and I always feel like my stress level is at the breaking point - the slightest little thing will make me completely lose it. The emotional things have been going on for several years, but it all became much worse since going gluten free - I don't even know who I am any more.

Now onto the pregnancy part of things. I found out I was pregnant 2 months after going gluten free. Right off the bat I felt like something was wrong. I was experiencing an abnormal amount of cramping (compaired to my previous full term pregnancies - I had three full term pregnancies prior to going gluten free), and a feeling that something wasn't right. A month later I miscarried, at about 11-12 weeks of my pregnancy. I had a really hard time with it and I didn't understand why, after all the hard times we had been going through with our other childrens health and my health, that we now had to go through this too. I had thought things would get better since finding out our underlying health problem.

Anyway, that's the background. Now I am 18 weeks pregnant again and I feel so much stress and anxiety, almost like a shadow is hanging over me and at any time something bad is going to happen. My health is still not good and I'm afraid that it will somehow make the baby unwell, and that I won't be able to handle the delivery, that my stress/anxiety will cause early labor. The list of concerns goes on and on.

The only way that I seem to be able to control the anxiety and stress is to not think about the baby, but I am starting feel like i need to prepare for the change in our life and for the labor and delivery.

I keep reading about how you need to have a really great support system to deal with these things, and to have at your birth, but I don't feel close enough to any of my few friends or family to completely open up to them. Whenever I try it doesn't go very well, I feel even more alone because I realize how they really can't relate to me. They tell me things like "every things going to get better, don't worry", or "don't let yourself stress about it". It's not like I want to worry or stress. I just don't know how to shut that part of me down. I never use to be a worrier or stressed about anything, I feel like this isn't me and I don't know who I am. My husband tries to be supportive and listen to me, but he just can't relate at all. I kind of feel like I'm talking to a wall when I talk to him. He always says he wishes there was something he could say or do to help me, but he doesn't know what. I tell him that's okay, I don't know either. But I wish that somebody could help me.

Well, I guess that's about it. This ended up being really long and probably disjointed, but if anyone has some insight I would really appreciate it.

Talk to a doctor about your previous miscarriage & why it happened. S/he'll be able to give you good information about the chances of it happening again. Once you hear a doctor say how low the chances are of another miscarriage, it may settle down some worries for you.

Likewise, have your doctor run tests to make sure you're not low on any vitamins, minerals, etc. Seeing the results back that you're physically capable of supporting the baby might help.

Write or talk about it. Here helps, but anywhere is good too. If no one around you can relate, then a journal is good. Just the act of writing down worries helps to relieve them. Your brain spends so much time trying to keep track of the worries that it can't do anything else, which compounds the stress, and the act or writing or talking about them relieves some of the stress.

Also, you might write down a worst case scenario. Avoiding thinking about it will increase your anxiety, but dwelling on it will increase chances of depression. So write it down, write down what happened before (in detail) and let all of your emotions and worries about it out. A journal is also good for this, because you won't hold back or worry about what people will think, which lets you really vent your feelings.

Get some exercise (walks) to increase endorphins in the brain. Take deep breaths, do relaxation exercises (yoga, meditation, prayer, long baths, massages etc.) Anything directed at reducing stress might help.

talk to your OB about your anxiety. She may have some suggestions and be able to reassure you.

Maybe a prenatal yoga class?

I have some suggestions that may sound odd but try them. They do help.

Get some exercise. Even a walk around the block with the kids. Make it fun by having them count how many Xmas wreaths are on doors still or how many dogs bark at you.

Do something silly everyday. Get some ping pong balls & plastic spoons or spatulas and play with the kids. Blow up balloons but don't tie them. Let them loose. Hide stuffed animals for the kids to find. Then let them hide them.

Get a bird feeder and watch the birds. Read a silly story with the kids and take turns doing the voices or sounds. Sing a stupid song in your head or out loud when you start worrying. Get a knock knock joke off the Internet everyday to tell your kids. Hold onto your belly and jump 10 times. Play freeze with the kids ( everyone dances until someone yells freeze thus making you stop in silly positions.

Your kids can probably find some ways to make you laugh or at least smile.

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"Children in a family are like flowers in a bouquet: there's always one determined to face in an opposite direction from the way the arranger desires."~Marcelene Cox

I was also going to suggest prenatal yoga. (I am biased, I've been teaching prenatal yoga for two years now.) I would suggest going to a class, NOT doing a video, because part of the idea of a class is to provide a community of women going through the same thing that you can get support from. Real human contact!

I would also suggest talking to a therapist. Someone who can help you learn coping skills and stress management techniques. You're right "stop worrying" isn't helpful at all - if you knew how to do that, you already would have. While the how really may be "just stop doing it" (a very yogic approach), that is actually a very difficult thing to master and takes a lot of practice. Having help is nothing but good.

It would also be good to have a therapist whom you've been working with, as you have a number of risk factors for postpartum depression. (I wouldn't add that to your list of things to worry about. If it happens, you deal with it. If it doesn't, great.) (BTW, I have a couple of risk factors, and decided to do placenta encapsulation - you might look into it.)

You might also consider hiring a doula. That may help you feel like you'll have the support and help that you need during labor.

You all mentioned yoga - I have thought that I would like to try it, but I have been unsure how to go about it in my situation. I know that a class would be ideal, however, I am unable to drive myself because of having unresolved vision problems from having celiac. Not to mention we have very limited financial resources (my husband is currently a full time student and we are living on loan and barely making it as it is - I don't think I could scrape the money together for a class). Do any of you at all recommend any type of yoga video for my situation?

I do think I will try to talk with my midwife at my next appointment about my issues, I guess I just feel a little nervous that she will brush me off or in some way make me feel worse about it - like every one else does. I'm not very trusting of people in general - that they will have compassion and understanding. I've had too many bad experiences with people since life has gotten so hard.

It seems like I could have worked through so much of this already if I could have had a friend to talk things through with. It seems like most people do, and it's discouraging to me that I don't seem to be able to have those kind of friendships.

Thanks for listening (or reading - as the case may be) I feel kind of ridiculous - like I shouldn't feel this way.

I was also going to suggest prenatal yoga. (I am biased, I've been teaching prenatal yoga for two years now.) I would suggest going to a class, NOT doing a video, because part of the idea of a class is to provide a community of women going through the same thing that you can get support from. Real human contact!

I would also suggest talking to a therapist. Someone who can help you learn coping skills and stress management techniques. You're right "stop worrying" isn't helpful at all - if you knew how to do that, you already would have. While the how really may be "just stop doing it" (a very yogic approach), that is actually a very difficult thing to master and takes a lot of practice. Having help is nothing but good.

It would also be good to have a therapist whom you've been working with, as you have a number of risk factors for postpartum depression. (I wouldn't add that to your list of things to worry about. If it happens, you deal with it. If it doesn't, great.) (BTW, I have a couple of risk factors, and decided to do placenta encapsulation - you might look into it.)

You might also consider hiring a doula. That may help you feel like you'll have the support and help that you need during labor.

Hi, I already posted about the yoga thing. I would like to try it, but I don't think it's possible for me to take a class right now. Under the circumstances would you suggest any kind of video? (I know you were very adamant about taking a class though)

I would like to talk with a counselor or therapist, I have anxiety about that too, but if I found a good one I think it would be very helpful. I actually tried to find one a couple of years ago, but I couldn't find one in the area that I could afford. I don't even know if I can really afford any, but I have heard that they sometime will charge only a little for low income families (my husband is a full time student and we don't have any thing to spare). I will look into it again and hope and pray that something will turn up.

I also have thought a doula would possibly be good. Did you have one with your birth? I looked into it a little with my other pregnancies, but no one that I knew had any experience with them - I'm the only one that I know that has gone the no med route with deliveries - so I didn't find much good info about it previously. My chiropractor is a big advocate for natural birth and I know that she has connections. I'm going to talk with her at my next appointment about a doula, but I would love to hear your take on it.

Also, do you mind sharing what lead you to decide to do placenta encapsulation? I had never hear of it before. You said that you had risk factors for depression? Did you experience any depression after your baby was born? I think I had post postpartum depression to some degree with all my babies. My doctors and midwives were never very good at explaining it or asking me about it. I felt like it was something I had to deal with on my own and felt like it was wrong for me to feel the way I did - I felt ashamed to talk about it. Kind of like I do now.

Hi, I already posted about the yoga thing. I would like to try it, but I don't think it's possible for me to take a class right now. Under the circumstances would you suggest any kind of video? (I know you were very adamant about taking a class though)

the main reason I said that is because a video cuts out the community of support people. That being said, yoga can still help with stress and anxiety. I understand shiva rae's prenatal video to be excellent, and you might be able to find it at your library. Don't discount, however, calling studios and seeing if they can work with you. Many Jane community classes or scholarship programs. And, you may find you can get there via public transportaition. What area do you live in?

I would like to talk with a counselor or therapist, I have anxiety about that too, but if I found a good one I think it would be very helpful. I actually tried to find one a couple of years ago, but I couldn't find one in the area that I could afford. I don't even know if I can really afford any, but I have heard that they sometime will charge only a little for low income families (my husband is a full time student and we don't have any thing to spare). I will look into it again and hope and pray that something will turn up.

If there is a university in your town, they may have programs that can help - low cost clunseling provided by students, for instance. You might talk to the health services department of your husbands school; they may either have or know of resources to help. There are, in many areas, clinics and services to help low-income groups get these services on a sliding fee; google for them in your area and ask local forums (online groups) for suggestions as well.

I also have thought a doula would possibly be good. Did you have one with your birth? I looked into it a little with my other pregnancies, but no one that I knew had any experience with them - I'm the only one that I know that has gone the no med route with deliveries - so I didn't find much good info about it previously. My chiropractor is a big advocate for natural birth and I know that she has connections. I'm going to talk with her at my next appointment about a doula, but I would love to hear your take on it.

I wasn't the only one of my friends to go natural (though I was the only planned out-of-hospital birth), but I was the only one who searched out a doula. I can't speak highly enough about it. Yes, it's more money, bu some doulas also do sliding scale work, and sometimes you can find one working towards her certification that is cheaper (or free). Basically, they are there to support you - someone to groan with you, hand you a beverage to keep sipping, run a cool washcloth over your forehead, help you to the toilet, offer suggestions (and physical support) for change of position. They do not replace dads role at all, but are a complement.

Also, do you mind sharing what lead you to decide to do placenta encapsulation? I had never hear of it before. You said that you had risk factors for depression? Did you experience any depression after your baby was born? I think I had post postpartum depression to some degree with all my babies. My doctors and midwives were never very good at explaining it or asking me about it. I felt like it was something I had to deal with on my own and felt like it was wrong for me to feel the way I did - I felt ashamed to talk about it. Kind of like I do now.

I have a history of mild depression, and fribromyalgia. Additionally, I don't have family nearby, nor do I have a lot of friends I'm terribly close with. I don't think I experienced any depression afterwards, though I had the best support I could muster, and we had some difficulty bonding due to a whole hell of a lot of trouble with breastfeeding, reflux, and a high-need (if otherwise very happy) baby.

But it is horrid that your providers didn't offer any help. Please know that it is their failure to do their job, not in any way your responsibility to handle it all on your own. I was fortunate to have a great set of midwives who really took good care of us those first six weeks after delivery, while they did followup care. If you feel that you can get the (better) care you deserve elsewhere, you might consider a different provider. Either way, know that you should not have to deal with depression alone, a d now might be the time to look for resources to help you.

While it's only tangentially related, you might find the folks at local LLL meeting helpful, and you can almost certainly find a local parenting group. The lack of driving will be hard, but you might be surprised by someone who is able to help you out.

Tarnalberry - Thanks for the advice and for sharing some of your experience. I just met with a different midwife last week and I think she will definitely be a better fit than the previous provider I was with. Every time I've had a baby I keep changing things in the hopes that I will have a better experience than the previous times. My new midwife has been highly recommended to me, so at least that's a start.

Since you're husband is a student I'm not sure if you have medical insurance or how good it might be but if you do have medical insurance you might want to look at your card & see if they have a Behavioral Health Services number. If you do have the medical coverage & they cover you going to see a therapist you'll probably have to pay the "specialist" fee which can definitely add up but it's something to look into.

Even if you can't get the authorization to see a therapist if you have medical insurance you should call your provider anyway & see if they have any sort of pregnancy support programs you can enroll in etc. I had no idea that my medical insurance had such things until a few weeks before my delivery but even during those few weeks & the first several weeks after my delivery I got probably 4 or 5 phone calls from someone with a number to contact them if I needed to talk or had concerns etc. The lady that I talked to was great but I didn't really feel I needed anything extra from them.

I am like you & don't really have many real close friends that I can talk to about things. In the last year or so I have managed to somewhat rebuild some friendships with my old best friends from high school but it's still not a best buddy, I can tell them anything, type of relationship. I had a really rough time several years ago with severe depression & anxiety & I finally got help. I have been seeing a therapist since...Oct 2008 I think it is. It took several months to finally feel like I could really talk to her about everything but I also did some journal writing during the first year & it helped tremendously. Just getting those thoughts & feelings out.

Also the recommendation of taking small walks or even just being outside are great. I know this is a really crappy time of year with the weather but when the sun does come out, try to make it a habit to go out for a quick walk or something. When I started therapy I never took my breaks at work etc. I started taking my breaks and walking & it was a great help. I'd put my headphones on, listen to some upbeat music & just enjoy my mind being free. Unfortunately when I was pregnant at the 6 month mark I could hardly walk due to sciatic pain so that stopped & I had just been walking a few months again when I broke my leg & still (especially with the cold) have a hard time walking. I really like to read though & I found that it was just as good for me to read since I couldn't walk. Reading helps put your mind in another place, thinking about different people & their world etc.

On top of those things everyone else's suggestions are great. Forums are a good place as well to talk to different people & get support. When I was home on maternity I lived on some of the babycenter.com forums. It really helped if nothing else just reading about other people's experiences & comparing & realizing I wasn't alone etc.

The whole thing of "don't worry" etc is definitely a lot easier said than done. Even with a good support person or therapy etc it's not some magical thing that's going to happen. I've been in therapy for over 2yrs & I've gotten fairly good at not worrying about what might happen, especially if it's not something I can do anything about, but it does still happen. Like right now I'm trying not to but worrying about if I do manage to get pregnant this cycle, because I'm on such a high dose of clomid, that I might end up with multiple pregnancies, which in a way might be neat but at the same time scares the crap out of me haha. What I try to do is stay busy enough so that I don't think of those things that I might worry about or eventually find a time to address the worry. My husband often doesn't really understand but at least he listens & let's me get it out to him. Then if you were to write it down as well that really helps you vent & express what you're feeling & then it does become easier to just not keep it on your mind or dwell on it.

I'm sure that your hormones from pregnancy on top of your already existent anxiety & depression don't help but just remember we're all here too & obviously willing to listen & offer advice & support. In person support is best but if you can get that, sometimes that anonymous person online can be just as good or better.

Hi Sarah,
I really feel for you. I know what's it's like to have that much anxiety. It's a horrible feeling. You've gotten lots of great advice from everyone. I know deep breathing, meditating, journaling, exercise & talking to a counselor really helped me when I was feeling really stressed out and anxious. Your post reminded me a lot of myself when I was really sick - about five months ago except I'm not pregnant, but hopefully I'll be trying again soon.

Are you feeling better on the gluten free diet, yet? I hope you don't mind - I was reading your last post & it looks like you're really having a hard time. I can totally sympathize. It took me a long time to get better, too. I've been gluten free for 17 months, but it took me about 13 months to get better. I was very sick.

Have you gotten any recent blood work done for the IgA Ab? Is your blood work antibodies any lower? My doctor was ordering me to get my blood work done about every three months. When I was diagnosed 17 months ago, my antibodies were 152. And then for a year my blood work stayed at 67, 61, 45 and then it went up again to 60 just six months ago. It just wasn't going down. My doctor told me he thought I was still getting gluten somewhere and I still didn't feel 100%. I felt like 70% better. I was getting desperate and feeling anxious. I was worried that I had another disease. And I was wondering why it taking me so long to get better? It took me months to figure it out - I was still getting a small amount of gluten by supposedly "gluten free" vitamins - Megafood vitamins, Rainbow Light & even Country Life had a small amount of CC in them. I did what we all do, called these companies, they told me they were gluten free with no CC, so I thought they were safe. I guess some people can take them, but I'm very sensitive & as soon I switched I felt a difference. Are you taking any vitamins? What kind of vitamins are you taking if you don't mind me asking? I just wonder if your getting a small amount of gluten somewhere. I don't want to add to your stress. I just know I feel really anxious, depressed, upset, confused and totally not myself when I get glutened.

If your taking any vitamins, I would stop them for a few days to see if you feel any different -even the ones that say "gluten free." And try to meditate, take a hot bath and look for someone to talk to like a counselor for in the mean time.

I finally switched to GNC's gluten free vitamins & I feel so much better. I can really say I feel 100% - finally. And my blood work came down to 29. That's the lowest it's been for me since going gluten free, but I'm still not healed all the way.

Please let us know how you're doing and keep us posted. I hope things get better for you soon!
God Bless & Hugs to you!

Lisa, thanks for your post - for being so understanding. I definitely don't find too many people who seem to understand how I am feeling with all of this.

About the blood work. Unfortunately my doctor never did any blood work. I was diagnosed with biopsy after an endoscopy. If I had known better at the time I would have had him do the blood work too so that I had a point of reference. Do you think it would still be beneficial to get it done in case the levels were still high?

I have tried going off all of my supplements for several days at a time with no notisable improvement, but I think it could be worth a try maybe for a whole week. The only thing I would be worried about in doing that is that my levels are already low enough I would worry it wouldn't be good for the baby.

I have been looking for a counselor, but haven't yet found one that I both felt like they would be a good one and that I could possible afford. I think I may talk with my midwife and see if she has any good suggestions. At times I feel very desperate for help and helpless to find any.

I have been reading a birth book and I think that I have a lot of issues to work through. It's hard for me to tell how serious things are or if it is just this stupid disease. I kind of hope that soon my body will heal and I will be able to think clearly and all of my emotional issues will go away or at least be much more manageable.

I'm glad that you are starting to feel better. It gives me a little hope that I'm not the only one who has been gluten-free for so long but take much longer than normal to show improvement.

Since you're husband is a student I'm not sure if you have medical insurance or how good it might be but if you do have medical insurance you might want to look at your card & see if they have a Behavioral Health Services number. If you do have the medical coverage & they cover you going to see a therapist you'll probably have to pay the "specialist" fee which can definitely add up but it's something to look into.

Even if you can't get the authorization to see a therapist if you have medical insurance you should call your provider anyway & see if they have any sort of pregnancy support programs you can enroll in etc. I had no idea that my medical insurance had such things until a few weeks before my delivery but even during those few weeks & the first several weeks after my delivery I got probably 4 or 5 phone calls from someone with a number to contact them if I needed to talk or had concerns etc. The lady that I talked to was great but I didn't really feel I needed anything extra from them.

I am like you & don't really have many real close friends that I can talk to about things. In the last year or so I have managed to somewhat rebuild some friendships with my old best friends from high school but it's still not a best buddy, I can tell them anything, type of relationship. I had a really rough time several years ago with severe depression & anxiety & I finally got help. I have been seeing a therapist since...Oct 2008 I think it is. It took several months to finally feel like I could really talk to her about everything but I also did some journal writing during the first year & it helped tremendously. Just getting those thoughts & feelings out.

Also the recommendation of taking small walks or even just being outside are great. I know this is a really crappy time of year with the weather but when the sun does come out, try to make it a habit to go out for a quick walk or something. When I started therapy I never took my breaks at work etc. I started taking my breaks and walking & it was a great help. I'd put my headphones on, listen to some upbeat music & just enjoy my mind being free. Unfortunately when I was pregnant at the 6 month mark I could hardly walk due to sciatic pain so that stopped & I had just been walking a few months again when I broke my leg & still (especially with the cold) have a hard time walking. I really like to read though & I found that it was just as good for me to read since I couldn't walk. Reading helps put your mind in another place, thinking about different people & their world etc.

On top of those things everyone else's suggestions are great. Forums are a good place as well to talk to different people & get support. When I was home on maternity I lived on some of the babycenter.com forums. It really helped if nothing else just reading about other people's experiences & comparing & realizing I wasn't alone etc.

The whole thing of "don't worry" etc is definitely a lot easier said than done. Even with a good support person or therapy etc it's not some magical thing that's going to happen. I've been in therapy for over 2yrs & I've gotten fairly good at not worrying about what might happen, especially if it's not something I can do anything about, but it does still happen. Like right now I'm trying not to but worrying about if I do manage to get pregnant this cycle, because I'm on such a high dose of clomid, that I might end up with multiple pregnancies, which in a way might be neat but at the same time scares the crap out of me haha. What I try to do is stay busy enough so that I don't think of those things that I might worry about or eventually find a time to address the worry. My husband often doesn't really understand but at least he listens & let's me get it out to him. Then if you were to write it down as well that really helps you vent & express what you're feeling & then it does become easier to just not keep it on your mind or dwell on it.

I'm sure that your hormones from pregnancy on top of your already existent anxiety & depression don't help but just remember we're all here too & obviously willing to listen & offer advice & support. In person support is best but if you can get that, sometimes that anonymous person online can be just as good or better.

Good luck! I hope things look up for you soon.

Laennie, thank you for all the suggestions. I'll have to check about the pregnancy support group thing, I don't really know how to find out about it, but i'll start with my midwife.

I have started to journal, as so many of you suggested it. I have tried it before, but was never very good at it. I have a hard time getting everything that I'm feeling out and on paper, plus it seems to take me forever, so I usually get interrupted and kind of lose the motivation to keep going with the thought. But I'm giving it a shot again and I'll try to stick it out for a while - maybe I just need to get used to it.

When will you know if you are prego? Let me know. I hope that you are able to not stress too much about it.

Believe me - I completely understand how you feel. I can't believe your Doctor never ordered blood work for you. Maybe you really just need a good doctor and a dietitian who understand celiac disease more. My first GI doctor was so clueless about the disease. Even though he diagnosed me with celiac through upper endoscopy & probably saved my life, he didn't know that much about the disease at all. Lucky for me he did refer me to a dietitian who has celiac also & he recommended the blood work for me. I did look for a new GI doctor & thankfully someone on this board referred me to one who specializes in celiac disease. He's been testing my blood work all through the last year. It's called the celiac panel. It's not too late for you to get this blood work done at all. And it would really help to see if you are still getting gluten. Since you've been gluten free for some time now, you'll levels should be low and even back to normal. Normal is below 20. Just to give you an example this is my blood work levels in the last year. The test is called IgA Ab:

Date /Results9-28-09-------------- 15211-20-09 ------------ 3 - this was actually a "false positive" 12-16-09 ------------ 672-3-10 -------------- 603-5-10--------------- 455-13-10-------------- 60 -it actually went back up so I know I was getting gluten -it was "gluten-free" vitamins so I changed them. It took me months to figure it out. 12-10-10------------- 29 -almost 100 % healed!

They way my doctor explained the test to me is the results are a reflection of how "healed" your small intestines are. It really makes a lot of sense to me. He just gave me another prescription to get the blood work done again sometime in the next month. He said it should be under 20 by then. My new doctor is amazing. He knows if I'm still getting gluten just by examining me. He's just so knowledgeable!

I also thought I was intolerant to a lot of different foods and I asked him to test for the total list of food allergies for me through my blood work. Everything was negative, but I do understand that you can negative bloodwork results and still have a reaction to certain foods. But all my reactions went away & I can even eat some yogurt (milk) once in a while without any problems. Now I know it was the CC of gluten from the vitamins I was taking all a long. They were preventing me from healing even though I was eating gluten free. It's really frustrating how these companies can get away with labeling their products gluten free when they make them on shared lines or they don't test the products for gluten.

Also, are you taking any prescription medications? I know from experience that some can have small traces of gluten. I call every product before I take them & always ask about CC. If a company can't guarantee that the product is gluten free -I don't take the chance.

I'm really curious what your blood work would be. You really might want to change your doctor. I know it hard to do all this detective work when you don't feel good. I'm sure someone on the board can give you a good recommendation for a great doctor in your area. Then ask for that doctor to do the celliac panel for you. Even if you are gluten free you should have this test done every 6 months to once a year. It's just to make sure if you're staying gluten free. If your antibodies are high, then at least you know there's a good chance you're getting some gluten and then you can go from there. I hate for you to stop all your vitamins when your pregant & on such a strict diet.

I really hope this helps you!

I've been praying for you! Please let us know how things are going. Hugs!

When I was doing my journal I found it easier to actually type on the computer. I can type faster than I can write so it just made sense. I would usually have to find a time when it was quiet & I was alone & just let the thoughts come. I would still get interrupted sometimes but if you do & then can't get back into it, that's fine. You're just done for then & you come back later or the next day etc. For me, whenever my brain was rambling with thoughts that's when I needed to get them out. I actually started a blog after finding out about Celiac because I was such a jumble of thoughts & needed to get it out. I figured why now put the information somewhere that my friends & family could read it. I haven't posted much since December because I have just been busy & not made the time. I finally made the time last weekend to write something.

I actually found out I was pregnant on Sunday. I was really shocked though. I found out last Tuesday the results of my progesterone level & it was only 5.5. According to what I'd been told the level needs to be 10 in order to know you ovulated. I'm guessing that maybe it's because my ovulation test didn't light up until day 20, had horrible cramps etc day 21 (figure I actually ovulated that day) and then on day 24 was when I was supposed to go to the lab. So I'm wondering if it's just that enough time hadn't gone by or what. I had already made an apt on Thurs to see my doc on Monday expecting that I would need to get clomid again. Instead I got to tell him that both pregnancy tests I took came up positive. He sent me to do bloodwork & they called me this morning to tell me it was positive and my hcg was 96. I go back to the lab next week to check it again. Once it gets to 5,000 we'll do an ultrasound to see what we've got. I'm sooo excited. I've been so frustrated because I know 17 people expecting for a total of 20 babies (1 person is having triplets). The number of pregnant people has gone up so much in the last month it's not even funny lol but I finally get to join them. My cousin who has been trying, completely the old fashioned way, for a few years found out a few weeks ago she was pregnant. It looks like we're both going to be due in the same month. Right now my son is the only great-grandchild on all sides of my family. My dad's parents are going to have at least 4 great grandchildren in the next 9 months lol because my other cousin's gluten-free is pregnant too.

Doctor has me taking progesterone supplements every night for now just to help make sure I don't miscarry (never had that problem before but never did fertility drugs before). I'm itching to post on my blog about it but I'm waiting because we're just selectively telling people right now. After we get our ultrasound then we'll spread the good news. We just want to make sure everything looks good & know if we're looking at 1 baby or more than 1 lol. Since I'll probably be getting that first ultrasound by 1st or 2nd week of March it's not too long to wait, it's just hard to keep the excitement in

I really hope you start to feel better soon. I also hope that talking to all of us here on the board helps you out too. Being pregnant is an emotional time by itself but then when you have so much other stuff to worry about & no one to talk to & not feeling well, it really takes it's toll.

Lisa, thanks for the information about the vitamins and blood work. I double checked (again) the vitamins I take and I don't think there is any chance of CC and just to make sure I stopped taking them for a while with no improvement.

Something I did find however, was that I had bought a couple of new herbs that should have been fine, but my daughter and I were having reactions whenever we ate them. I got rid of them and I think we took care of that (it was giving me stomach flu like symptoms and was probably adding to my emotional distress).

I think I will look into having the blood panel done. I don't know why my doc never did it, it seems like the most prudent thing to do. I'm not sure how long it will take me to get around to it, it's been a struggle to do anything extra these days, but i will try to make it a priority. I think I will ask my midwife if she can order it for me at my next appointment. I will let you (all) know when i get it done.

Lisa, thank you too, for praying for me. I can't tell you how much it touched me when I read that - most of the time I just feel like no one cares and it brought a bit of encouragement to my heart when I read that.

PS. sorry it took me so long to respond. I just haven't felt able to put words together in a coherent way lately.