here i am. in north carolina. for the first time. ever. unless a trip to the charlotte airport counts, although, i highly doubt that it truly does. yesterday was a long day of travel, tons of delays and bumpy skies and busy roads. but all in all, i got to durham/chapel hill an hour later than expected, in one piece. M was at her trackmeet, but i didn’t see her throw because i was late. late. late. i suppose that should have been assumed in the first place, but what is done, is done. chick-fil-a (still can’t get over the spelling… i suppose new englanders want to add that filet in instead of the fil-a…) filled our stomachs, and i slept a good sleep, all until i was woke up early this morning to visit DA. it was a school, and that was my very impression. my only impression too. sure schools tend to differ in material, but all have the same sense of an educational establishment which one becomes familiarized with over the course of their 13 years in public edu. or private, or what have you. anyway, i read outside for sometime- something i rarely have the chance to do in maine, and that made me happy. then we ventured to a thai cafe and to m’s infamous lo-yo and we had a superb time talking. all this “update” writing is making me feel out of place. seeing as i’m currently reading catcher in the rye for the thousandth time, i feel like holden, and i am viewing everything as “phony”. its unfortunate, yeah? anyway…

o, how i’d love a party like the above. summertime is approaching! m, annie, and i will drive to the coast and eat strawberries and blackberries, and dance to k’naan and tunng and all the good summer music. we’ll eat oranges and sip tea on the maine state pier at 5am, and we’ll build forts and go on bike rides, and take many many photos. i’m really counting on the upcoming season of liberty to be the best one yet- seeing as last year’s sucked so bad. see my nice inclusion of slang? anyway, ive sent out good energy to the deities of summer to ensure that the three of us have the best vacation of our lives thus far. parties, and friends (if we need them) and lunches and brunches and movies and music all the way.

oh hi enfin, you are as BA as its been rumored.

memoria teneo, as i have mentioned in a previous post, did in fact happen- hence the proof, first of two photos. the second, is a quaint little rue en quebec, where i found this market that four young boys in their 20s with lots of tattoos and gauges worked in. they sold me a baguette and i played fetch with their golden retriever for a brief moment until i ran up the road to get a good shot of the chateau on my trusty ricoh. i miss quebec, but i like the south too! we’re planning an allnighter (which i can say is overdue) and a fortification and perhaps a picnic and a trip to some of m’s most mentionable places en durham/c.hill/raleigh or i think i will refer to current location as RDU just like their airport. it will be nice to visit cambridge on sunday however, i haven’t visited since… february? i don’t recall any travels in march, however, it is entirely possible. a mixed tape is coming when i get back in the 617 or 207, depending on my mood and how i budget my time. i’m switching between, the crying of lot 49, V, How to Write Compelling Fiction- which i must add is quite delicious- and catcher in the rye (boring).

let’s just put it this way. i found my new jihad. long live j.hobo, and go to hell AJJ. this song couldn’t be more accurate or more worthy of the current moment that i am dwelling in, especially with all that teenage angst and whatever the hell it is we’re supposed to feel.

do you ever get bothered by something you probably shouldn’t be bothered by? for example, this is completely hypothetical mind you, yer best friend seems to have this deep intense enjoyment of pretending to be you and pretending to live yer life? well, i get bothered by things like that quite easily. and i just did.

i’m reading gravity’s rainbow by pynchon. it’s quite good thus far, and i’m trying to savour it rather than eat right through it. last evening was so boring. i should have gone to coyle street or to space even though that’s where the hipsters go. deertick played at space, and story played at coyle street. its unfortunate that i was too lazy to hop on ethel and ride to one of those venues. lately i’ve been feeling like i’m sans friends, which is kind of, in an odd way, refreshing. i don’t have any obligation to turn on my phone, nor do i have any obligation to log on to the f-word (facebook). canada is in five days, which makes me pretty damn excited. other than that, my week promises to be busy. i don’t exactly want to go play tennis, but i know that i have to thus I must. i really hate people who try to be someone they’re not. in addition to that, i hate friends who go through other friends to get what they want and pretend they’re someone they’re not. someone who has observed the same type of behavior told me not to mind it, saying that it was a form of flattery. bullshit. i don’t care about flattery, i never have. all i know right now is that i’m in for a long day. whether or not that’s a bueno thing… we’ll see in 12 hours. which in reality is not a long time. time. another thing i’d love to speak about. we’re racing against time, whether we define time as the moments that have passed, or the moments until the end, everyone, in one way or another, is racing against time. i wish we could just forget it, seeing as a million years ago it didn’t exist. stupid marilyn kept me up all evening, with her legs swinging and hands ticking. mocking my very existence in a way. just to stay organized, because i check this more than i check my calender, below i’m listing my next month, so feel free to bypass it. thanks.

april 9th, 10th, 11th: quebecapril 14th through the 18th: north carolinaapril 18th through the 20th: cambridge/bostonapril 23rd: 70s dance party at SPACEapril 24th: low anthem & timber timbre at SPACEmay 4th: vinyl fair at Port City Music Hall

i’m ready for the highlights, i don’t know about the lowlights.

n’ameen.
oh and a mixed tape will appear shortly, within the next three days.

so oh ho. i feel as though i’ve started a trend… staying up late, waking up early, rinse repeat, xyz. anyway, today, tuesday, rainy. tomorrow or is it today? wednesday, clearing, confusing. the show was absolutely lovely. i realized i should have taken a few pictures with my digital camera, but i took a good amount on my Ricoh, so when i finish this roll of film (colour…ick) i will send ’em out, and scan ’em up so you can see the beautiful people of dark dark dark in EAST portland. but it was a good show, besides the transportation getting to SPACE (seeing as it was torrential downpours and riotous winds). bright bright bright is better than alright, although i do have to admit, Snow Magic is one of my favorite records (maybe of all time). besides the show, i bought film, and a lot of coffee, and i considered buying batteries (but i didn’t) and i almost finished a painting. the rain tires me out, even if i lay in bed all day. i guess i’m looking forward to next saturday and then april 24th. and also any day i can sleep in, because i’m lacking on that front right now.

i know this will make many of you sad, but can we just hope that it rains all day so i don’t have to go practice? i’d rather come home, do a bit of work, cook a lemon basil cake, and go to bed. cross yer fingers.

happy passover. first and foremost i despise the following week because it always feels as though whatever you do, whether you be jewish, catholic, or agnostic, that in one way or another you’re doing wrong unto the world. but two days down, five to go. today, (tuesday) is promising. even though the weather is crappy and sad, i’m sort of looking forward to the day. it’s almost at the point where i keep observing the time and i think that it’d be the smartest thing if i stayed up all evening into the morning doing homework, catching up on enfinoui, and cleaning and then head to school, grab a large coffee and take a nap. but i think i’ll end up sleeping in a while.

today. no tennis. no work. homework…yes. waking up early… maybe. relaxation… hopefully. i’m seeing dark dark dark tonight at SPACE. I cannot wait. If you live in Portland head to SPACE tonight and hear them play. They’re putting on their Bright Bright Bright LP and some songs from Snow Magic for the crowd. I’m hoping my Yashica will be in working condition in 24 hours so I can capture the show on my black and white film. i also feel like making pizza… why am i thinking about food already though? that’s a bit sad. basil, lemon, cake. delicious. i’m getting off track. apologies. st.oc. that’s my stream of consciousness abrev. yes, anyway, GO SEE DARK DARK DARK or die. the end. put an end to that huh.? didn’t i? oh i sure did. this is not artfully narrated. i’m really sorry, but all of my talent has flown out the door. what a shame! i know, right. even my neighbor’s pet bird agrees. i can hear her chirping through these thin walls. paper thin. modest mouse. isaac brock. road trip to outwest this summer. HELL YES. who wants to join?

im going to stop now because i am making no sense and i also feel as though i may be muttering a bit too loud.

i have clear th0ughts that are easily fogged. lately, my mind has been shrouded with thoughts of all sorts. i can’t even fathom what a clear mind looks like anymore. days have morphed together, partially because i could careless about the events that have occurred and partially because nothing worthwhile has presented itself. after being elated over something as simple as the sunshine, the incoming rain has caused much saddness in my mind. and i suppose that was expected of course, seeing as with every high comes another low. i’ve never been too hopeful for happiness because ever since coming into the world i realized that a minute of happiness is generally countered with three minutes of saddness. but then again… and i suppose this is the overwhelming cynic in me talking, but happiness is just a fantasy, as is sadness. emotions are made up, and the terms coined to describe what one feels are over-used and not as crystal clear as they should be. nothing is ever clear…so why am i bothered by my hazy mind? again… the answer to that reads exactly like my friend the magic eight ball- answer hazy, try again. i have nothing but vague answers, nothing but vague notions, and nothing but vague aspirations. consistency is not my forte, and if you examine my family tree i’m sure you can see why.

i listened to she & him’s new record today. i’ve always been an M. Ward fan. when it comes to zooey deschannel, i like most, have mixed feelings. she certainly has a lovely voice… but as far as her being a “rockstar” as some people say… i can’t say i like her all the better. to be entirely honest i feel like she’s just a big time hipster, then again… so is M. Ward. but anyway…the new album. She & Him’s Vol. 2. I can’t say i was too happy. maybe its me. maybe its the album. but in regards to the sounds…i didn’t hear many different sounds. its not even a replica of the first album. Vol. 1 was versatile, and in addition to that the songs fit together well with harmony and everything that made Vol 1 one of the best albums i heard in 2008! Vol 2 will not be close to the best albums of 2010. i can’t even give you an accurate opinion, because its entirely possible i just grew out of m ward and zooey. although…i don’t think that happens to be the case. i just think the music isn’t as great as it should be. compared to mimicking birds, vol 2 is a waste of money. or i’d advise getting a bittorrent or limewire copy of it. definitely not worth the $12.97 at bull moose.

mimicking birds on the other hand is worth every cent paid. so go buy that. my only criticism of that album is the following: isaac brock needs to pick one side project. because yeah, ugly casanova is pretty dope too, i just think mimicking birds is a lot better and maybe even better than some of modest mouse’s past realeases… like the moon & antarctica.

i had a lovely time picnicking by myself this past afternoon! ethel even made her way up a hill! i listened to Local Natives and Tuung! I ate a delicious turkey and cheddar sandwich on rosemary parmesean bread with spinach, and fruit salad (bananas, granny smith apples, blackberries, cantaloupes, and strawberries), and iced tea. i read some of Faulkner’s the sound of the fury and i laid in the sun! then i rode ethel home and watched house. i babysat after that, and then i got home, about an hour ago and had this sudden urge to make popovers and thinly baked potatoes! below are the recipies to both delicious dishes!

preheat your conventional oven to 400 degrees, and keep muffin tin inside oven until preheated. while oven preheats take all ingredients and combine in blender, food processor, or by hand. grease warm muffin tin and pour batter into each cup about half way to 3/4 of the way full! then put in oven and bake for 40 minutes. when removed from oven, cut a slit in the top of the popover so steam can escape! serve with fresh strawberries! (makes 6-9)

thinly slice your half potato into circles no thicker than 1/8 of an inch, 1/16 is ideal. place into a baking dish, and overlap them. drizzle potatoes with olive oil, and then add salt and pepper. shake around in the dish to ensure proper mixing. bake in a 400 degree oven for 25 minutes. when finished, sprinkle with shredded mozzarella or cheddar cheese and have a side of ketchup handy!