Monday, April 13, 2015

Self

Bill had always had trouble finding a girlfriend. He wasn’t unattractive; he was just a sexist. He demanded his girlfriends look and act a certain way. As a result, it was strange when he started dating Angela. He thought she wasn’t quite up to his beauty standards, but she had one trait that made her very appealing -- she did whatever he said. Using this, he decided he could fix up anything about her appearance. He first asked her to dye her hair blond; she did it without question. Next, he asked her to get collagen injected into her lips, which she also did. A boob job? A diet? Sexier clothes? Yes, yes, and yes. Finally, he felt she was his perfect woman, and he could start showing her off. He called up his friend, Mark, and the two agreed to meet at a club. He had Angela wait to the side until he was ready to introduce her.

“Bro,” Bill told Mark, “I think I’ve finally found the one.”

“Oh, yeah?” Mark asked.

“I’d like you to meet Angela.”

Bill looked around, but Angela was nowhere to be seen. Mark looked puzzled.

“Meet Angela?” He asked, “I know you’ve done a lot of strange things to yourself lately. Honestly, we were all worried about you, but you look good, Angela.”

Bill looked down in shock. He WAS Angela! He was her. Then he thought about it. Ever since they met; he had been HER! He had done all these things to himself. But then again, looking down at the results, he really didn’t mind.