Enormous Man Spends Another Day Indoors

DECATUR, IL—Area large man Lawrence Schickle reinforced his sedentary lifestyle Sunday with the decision to remain in bed all day. "I shall not venture out of doors for the remainder of the weekend," the morbidly obese Schickle said. "I may not even go to the bathroom if I can possibly postpone it until Monday morning." Citing exhaustion from the previous Tuesday’s taping of a Simon & Simon rerun, Schickle said he would spend the day watching cable TV and eating institutional-sized cans of Chef Boy-Ar-Dee Beef Ravioli.