Monday, July 20, 2009

How much you like?

So.. we have these people that come around the neighborhood selling things. There is the fish man that walks around with a cooler strapped to his back, the bread man that rides around on his bike, the ice-cream man that comes by playing the infamous "ice-cream" song on his tricycle, the lady that sells orchids, and there is even a man that sells junk.

Literally, he sells junk. It says it right on the side of the big barrel he pushes around, J-U-N-K. I guess he buys and sells the things people don't want. A traveling garage sale? Doesn't sound like a great business plan if you ask me, but whatever.

I am usually interested to see what they are selling... not that I'm buying... but I think it's interesting. I can never tell though because I swear they all say the same damn thing.

BAAAAUUUUTTT!!! BAAAAUUUUUTTTT!!!!

Thats great... but what hell is that?

I asked our driver one day what the man was saying, and he said he was saying fish. But the word fish, is "isda"... and that's not what he was saying. So I don't know how you are supposed to know if you want to go outside and buy what they are selling if they all say the same thing.

Anyway, I was outside doing laundry this morning... which means I was in an incredibly joyous mood already, when I heard a man yelling the same non-sense as all the others. He was walking down my street carrying a giant picture under one arm, and a keyboard under the other.

He stopped at my gate....

Man: Mam you buy?

Me: No, thank you.

Man: Mam buy?

Me: No, thank you.

Now normally, the people know that if you don't go out in the street to stop them, then you don't want to buy. You literally have to chase the bread man to get him to stop for you. Sometimes I think he doesn't want to sell bread, he just likes riding his bike.

So... I only do 2 no "thank yous" before I start to lose my patience. I know he understood me, and if he didn't get the "no" part the rapid back and forth motion of me shaking my head should have been a pretty good clue.

Man: Mam you buy picture?

Me: No. I don't want your picture.

I am still trying to be nice... after all, these people go out of their way to be nice to you, but seriously... I wanted to shake this guy.

Man: How much you like for?

Me: I don't want it. NO.

Man: Mam, you like? How much you like for?

Me: Nooooo. (like maybe if I slow it down it will be better)

Ahhhhh... No I don't like!!! Look buddy, I don't want your flippin' picture! And to be honest, nobody else in the neighborhood is going to want it either, so you might as well turn around and go somewhere else. It is a picture of a pink sunset and black birds. It looks like something that would be hanging in a cheap nail salon on the wrong side of town. It is by far the ugliest picture I have ever seen. You couldn't pay me to take it from you.... go away!

Man: You want keyboard?

Me: ...

I had no words. I stared at him for a while, and turned around and went inside.

Chicago

I began writing The Undomesticated Housewife in April of 2009 when my husband Lee and I moved to the Philippines. It's been a year since we moved back home, and we are starting a new chapter of our lives in Chicago. I decided to get back to blogging and chronicle our adventures in the Windy City. Stay Tuned!