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I was born-in-the-covenant, lived in Utah my whole life,
four years of seminary, returned missionary to England, Bachelors and Masters
Degrees in Education from Brigham Young University where I was Young Women
President twice, married in the Provo temple, multiple Relief Society, Primary,
and Young Women Presidencies amongst a myriad of other callings, and stalwart,
dedicated, magnify-my-callings, honest, and true believing LDS member. I have
always had an extremely strong conscience that kept me on the straight and
narrow path, always striving to do right, and never rebelling.

So what started my disbelief? It started with science. Beginning
in seminary and throughout the years, I was taught that "someday science will
find proof for the Book of Mormon", and so I put it on a shelf and waited.
However, as science progressed, my dissonance grew. After watching a dozen
archaeology shows on PBS where nothing in the Book of Mormon was ever
mentioned, I called a faithful BYU science professor and asked if there was any
archaeological evidence for the Book of Mormon, and how did he handle the
dissonance between science and religion? I could tell by his carefully worded
responses that he was no longer a believer.

That started my reading frenzy through about 100 science and
religion books in about 6 months. It became undeniably clear that science
proved the Book of Mormon and the Book of Abraham to be fakes. After I was
grounded in science, then I started with real church history. I read about the
multiple contradictory versions of the First Vision, and Joseph's
face-in-the-hat translation method. The final straw was reading about Joseph
Smith's marrying a 14 year old, and his polyandry with married women. After
reading the heartrending story of Zina and Henry Jacobs, I was in tears.

Then came the rage over being deceived my whole life; I knew
the church was a fraud, and there was nothing left of my testimony. I continued
to research all the little details for eight years, both online and in books,
until my family situation made it possible to resign. I so regret my time,
energy, youth, and much tithing that were wasted on a lie, but my biggest
regret is that I raised my children in the church. Some of my adult children
see the fraud, but not all of them will, and there are many damaged familial
relationships.

Since many people have told me that my resignation letter
has been concise and helpful for them, I'm including it with a few minor
improvements. Everyone has my permission to copy and use it to suit their own
needs, as I'm happy to be of help. Good luck to us all on our journeys!

This is my formal written resignation from
the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, effective November 21, 2006. I
resign according to legal precedents established in Guinn V the Church of Christ of Collinsville and Norman Hancock Lawsuit against the LDS Church.
I understand that resigning cancels the effects of baptism and suspends temple
sealings and blessings, but since I have determined that the foundations of the
LDS church are false, there are no eternal consequences to this action. After
years of careful consideration, my decision is firm and unalterable. Please
forward without delay the "Report of Administrative Action" to President *****,
and as specified in the Church Handbook of Instructions, please notify me that
it has been done. As is my legal right, I request that the 30 day waiting
period be waived, and request the paperwork be submitted promptly to church
headquarters. I will verify with Greg Dodge at SLC Member Records.

Where required to list on the form "reason
for leaving," please indicate "at member's request as she is not a believer." I
insist that my records show the only reason my name has been removed is that I
requested it to be so, and insist the word excommunication or any other
derogatory word not be used as there is no basis. I emphasize that my decision
is not the result of sin, or taking offense, or any other stereotypical
justification, but simply that the church is not what it claims to be, and all
evidence falsifies the church. The church is good at instilling ethics and
values, so it is disturbing when it doesn't follow its own teachings on
honesty. After eight years of intensive research and documentation of all sides,
I choose to no longer belong to an organization that deceives its members.

Yes,
I've read the apologetics (defenses) of FARMS, FAIR, Meridian, Daniel Peterson,
John Sorenson, Jeff Lindsay, Kerry Shirts, Bill Hamilton, John Pratt, Scott
Woodward, John Tvedtnes, Matthew Roper, Jeffrey Meldrum, Trent Stephens, Hugh
Nibley http://lds-mormon.com/nibley1.shtml and
many others, as well as Limited Geography Theory, two Cumorahs, Bat Creek
Stone, NHM, chiamus, word printing, etc.
I have even double-checked many of
their sources, read the books they referenced, and written to scientists they
quoted. In every case I checked, the evidence was non-existent or twisted and
distorted. Why are there only disingenuous obfuscations that strain credulity?
I could overlook if there were just a few of the problems mentioned below, but
with all the issues together, the picture becomes overwhelmingly clear. A side
benefit is that all the dissonance between science and religion has melted.

Since
outside information is more credible and accurate, I know now that efforts to
steer me away were to hide sanitized and revisionist history. Being told not to
read something should have been my first clue.

Multiple
social science studies have demonstrated that once indoctrinated into a set of
beliefs, only 5% are able to break free of that indoctrination. For that 5% open
to examining the foundations of their religion, I ask the following questions
for which documentation is easily obtained on the internet from hundreds of
sources. A gentle and balanced starting place is here: http://trialsofascension.net/mormon.html

Since
the Book of Abraham is a fake
translation of common Egyptian funeral papyri dated centuries after the time of
Abraham, why does the church hide this fact from its members and continue to
claim that the book is of divine origin when it has been known otherwise since
1966 when the papyri were found at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York
City? ‘Catalyst for inspiration' and Hugh Nibley's Sen-sen defense are not
supported by the evidence. http://www.irr.org/MIT/Books/BHOH/bhohintr.html

When
I was a missionary, I taught that Joseph Smith was visited by God and Jesus.
Now I learn there are at least three additional contradictory Smith versions of
the First Vision where only one angel appeared, or only the Lord appeared, or
many angels appeared. If I were visited by Deity, it would make such an
impression that I would remember by whom and how many. If God and Jesus appeared
to Joseph Smith and told him none of the churches were true and to join none of
them, why did he join the Methodists? After Alvin's death in 1823, why did Joseph pray,
"if a supreme being existed" since he would already know? Why does the church
teach a religious revival started in 1820, when it was actually 1824? Why is
there no evidence of Smith's ‘persecution' in 1820? http://www.i4m.com/think/lists/mormon_questions.htm
Why was Angel Moroni called Angel
Nephi by Joseph Smith and his mother Lucy? If I'd been visited by an angel, I
think I'd get the name right. http://www.utlm.org/onlinebooks/mclaims1.htm

Why did Smith marry and have sex with
11 women who were married to other men at the same time, some of whom he sent
away on missions before marrying their wives? Why did he marry young teenagers, including 14 year
old Helen Mar Kimball, who had both parents and didn't want to be married? http://www.signaturebooks.com/excerpts/insacred.htm Most of these are documented on the church's
own genealogy website at: http://www.familysearch.org
(enter Joseph Smith, 1805 birth). Why did Smith practice polygamy in secret for
10 years before the D&C 132 ‘revelation' which was to get Emma off his back?
http://www.i4m.com/think/history/joseph_smith_sex.htm
Why did Joseph marry Fanny Alger in 1833
when the restoration of sealing power by Elijah didn't happen until 1836? In
Europe, why did John Taylor say accusations of polygamy were lies when he
already had multiple wives back in the USA? http://www.utlm.org/onlinebooks/changech9c.htm
Why did the church teach me that
Smith was tarred-and-feathered by anti-Mormons because Satan was persecuting
him, when the reality was they were Mormons avenging their young sister towards
whom Smith had made sexual advances, and Dr. Dennison was brought along for
castration? http://www.mormoncurtain.com/topic_joesephsmith_section2.html
‘Why LDS Members Tried To Castrate Joseph Smith In 1832'

We have physical evidence of Mayans,
Incas, Aztecs, Olmecs, Toltecs, Egyptians, Romans, Greeks, Norse in Greenland, and hundreds of other civilizations. Where is any
evidence of the civilizations of millions of people in TheBook of Mormon? As
far as "someday science will find," science has expanded exponentially,
especially with ground-penetrating radar and aerial surveillance, but the
increasing finds of science all contradict TheBook of Mormon.
In lake sediment cores, where are
the durable pollen grains of wheat, barley, figs, grapes, or flax, or evidence
of these plants in middens? Where is the evidence of metallurgy, steel swords
or slag heaps, or coins and silk, chariots and wheels, or horses, elephants,
asses, goats, sheep, pigs, and cows? Why is there impossible population growth
in TheBook of Mormon?http://josephlied.com/population.html Where is the geologic evidence of a global
Noachian flood, or geologic or dendroclimatology evidence of the physical
upheavals in 3rd Nephi? http://www.irr.org/mit/bomarch2.html and http://www.irr.org/mit/smithson.html
Why is there no linguistic evidence
of ancient Hebrew or Reformed Egyptian? Since languages have evolved for tens
of thousands of years, why did the Jaredites come from the Tower of Babel
which never existed? Jaredite barges are
not functional reality. http://faculty.gordon.edu/hu/bi/ted_hildebrandt/OTeSources/01-Genesis/Text/Articles-Books/Seely_Babel_WTJ.pdf and http://home.teleport.com/~packham/ships.htm

Why are there hundreds of anachronisms? Why
does The Book of Mormon quote Isaiah
before Isaiah was written? Why does it mention the Bible a millennia before the Bible
even existed? Why has TheBook of Mormon preserved the errors in
the King James translation such as ‘virgin' for ‘young woman'? Why is ‘Christ'
used when it is a Greek word, not the Israelite word Messiah? http://www.infidels.org/library/modern/curt_heuvel/bom_bible.html

Besides there being no evidence for things
mentioned in TheBook of Mormon, why does the book not mention things that really
did exist in Mesoamerica, such as yams, beans, squash, llamas, sloths, jaguars,
and monkeys? I went to a museum in Lima,
Peru, and there
were thousands of artifacts of jaguars, monkeys, and llamas, but not a single
horse, cow, elephant, or sheep!

Why are core doctrines such as three
degrees of glory, pre-existence, eternal family sealings, and baptisms for the
dead not included in this "most correct of any book on earth, and the keystone
of our religion"? TheBook of Mormon is a work of fiction
with 19th century milieu stamped all over it. "There's a difference between faith in an area
where the evidence is lacking, and denial in an area where the evidence
is copious but against you." -Baura http://lds-mormon.com/bomquest.shtml

Why
did Smith smoke and drink after giving the Word of Wisdom? Why did he have a
bar in his own home? Why did he copy the teachings of the Kirtland Temperance
Society? Why didn't he include in the Word of Wisdom the simple instruction to boil
water to prevent all the deaths from cholera and dysentery? http://www.utlm.org/onlinebooks/changech18.htm

Why
did the church teach me about the martyrdom as "a lamb to the slaughter," but
not the fact that Smith had a smuggled revolver and fired six shots into the
crowd, and Hyrum had a smuggled pistol? Why was I not taught that Smith was rightfully
arrested for the destruction of personal property including the Expositor, which
was going to expose his polygamy/polyandry about which he had repeatedly lied
and denied? Why was I not taught that Sidney Rigdon was the first to mention "war
of extermination" in a speech, and not the ‘gentiles'? http://lds-mormon.com/tmpc.shtml and History of
the Church, Vol. 6, Ch.
34, p. 618.

Why
does the current film Joseph Smith:
Prophet of the Restoration give false impressions? i.e. regarding healings,
Smith's happy monogamous marriage, parental encouragement of Emma's marriage
when the reality is they were furious at the elopement and that Joseph had
stolen her away? http://www.wivesofjosephsmith.org/01-EmmaHale.htm

Regarding
our core belief and Snow's couplet "As man is, God once was. As God is, man may
become," why did President Gordon B. Hinckley say that "I don't know that we
teach it..."? http://home.teleport.com/~packham/gbh-god.htm
Why did Hinckley say polygamy is "not
doctrinal" when it is in D&C 132, will be practiced in the Celestial
Kingdom, and is currently practiced in temple sealings? http://lds-mormon.com/lkl_00.shtml Before two people were killed, why didn't
Hinckley, Kimball, and other church leaders receive revelation and be able to discern
that Mark Hofmann's documents were forgeries that they were buying to hide in
the Church vault? What has Hinckley prophesied
or revealed as ‘prophet, seer, and revelator'? http://www.xmission.com/~country/reason/hof1.htm

Why
are women taught to be subservient and are less valued? Why did the church
oppose the ERA? In our stake, YM have four times the budget as YW. There are
yearly father-son sleepovers, but women were banned from sleepovers after one
activity. Girls camp is once a year and always at the same place, while Scouts
have multiple camps at multiple distant places. Why are there church boy
scouts, but not girl scouts? Why ask men before giving a calling to the wife,
but not ask women before giving a calling to the husband? Why can't women have
more leadership callings such as financial clerk or Sunday School president? I
remember when women were finally allowed to give prayers in Sacrament Meeting
in 1978. Thankfully, multiple "women obey your husbands" were taken out of the
temple ceremony in 1990. http://www.feministmormonhousewives.org/?p=1041#more-1041
and http://www.i4m.com/think/comments/mormon_women.htm

Other
than "feelings," what evidence is there the church is what it claims to be?
Feelings are not a reliable test of truth, as anyone knows whose feelings have
turned out to be wrong, such as feeling good about an investment which failed
or a marriage that ended. If feelings equal truth, then Islam, Catholicism,
Buddhism, and all other faiths are also the one true religion because their
members also have a witness. Regarding faith, belief, witness, prayer, testimony,
burning in the bosom, and other such feelings, many get those same
inspirational feelings watching "Phantom of the Opera" or "Les Mis." Does that
mean they are true? Many get bad feelings learning about the Holocaust. Does
that mean the Holocaust isn't true? Most spiritual experiences can be
scientifically explained within the brain. http://watarts.uwaterloo.ca/~acheyne/S_P.html http://www.religioustolerance.org/vis_brain.htm
and http://www.dreamsnightmares.com/luciddreaming.html

Faith cannot be sustained on falsehoods
and deception. Faith is not sufficient when all tangible evidence contradicts
the church. "Faith, as well intentioned as it may be, must be built on
facts, not fiction--faith in fiction is a damnable false hope." --Thomas
Edison