haha well i have my classes all lined up so thats taken care of without any problems, i cant wait to see my friends and bf, i have auditions for the show in like february and even if i dont get in they'll def let me on stage crew and one of the department heads said that "off the record" i have a job with his company when i graduate if i want it. so this semester really set next semester up to be amazing

plus...not to brag im just really proud of myself and i know you wont think im bragging: i got straight A's this semester so i've already like got the feel of college level work and how to divide my time into work and partying which, btw i do a great deal of regardless of my geeky grades.

well you sound very stable! i dont know if i really wanted to say that
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ah! haha well im glad to hear bf! ive been hoping you found someone much better for you. or just less... me-ish, well the mind thing um well yeah anyway! congrats and all this andthat!

next semester?! fuck i dont have it all worked out. i fell in with a stupid crowd first semester, but my best friend is gone and not coming back, im worried because all my other aquatances... well its not clicking and some of them i really dont like, uarts kids really are assholes, i dont want to go to college without friends again, its really a terrible experiance when you can make friends. i will see how it goes i guess. college is basicly dumb so far! but its cool. im having fun! today i peirced my friend grace's septum! SUCCESSFULLY! and the old sneakie crew = great fun over break. and im buying a guitar.

but now that i think of it, everything else is really falling down around me, between the chaos that is college my oldest friend evan tried to off himself, he is at a rehab called caron in radner now, turns out hes addicted to adderol and some other pills. and timmy is also going to rehab tomorrw. its not snowing, everything seems so helter scelter, liz is tumor free but riddled with chemo and its hurtin somthing awful, but i hardly see my family anymore. but right now i am content and maybe ill stay this way.
nevermind
-Prof. Nix Monico

nick im really sorry to hear about all that. evan has so much going for him..it seems to me that the people who "seem" to have everything going for them never see it in themselves. ill be praying for him and ill pray for timmy too..him im not surprised much at, just bc hes been going down that road and not listening to anyone. and ill pray for your sister to be chemo-free as soon as possible. and ill pray for you, too, because nick the thing that attracted me to you right from the start was your confidence. you have a way about you that just makes everyone want to be around you. all you need to do is be yourself to get the response and friends you're looking for. never settle for less and never turn to assholes just because you think that thats all thats there. because you always have josh and that group forever and ever and believe it or not you always have me. i meant it when i said that despite what may become of us in the future id always care about you. if ever you find yourself without a friend (which i doubt you ever will) you can and always will be able to call me.

thank you so much, it means a lot to me when people actually read my poetry instead of just looking at pictures. it took a lot out of me to actually write those feelings out and face them, so im really honored that someone not only read it but enjoyed it and got something out of it. thank you again!