Month: May 2017

I don’t know if I ever mentioned this, but ever since I was little, I was afraid of sleeping. Most people look to nighttime as a time of respite, but I fear it. I don’t even know what I fear, and because I’m afraid, I grow sad as the day goes along. Of course, I’m not a morning person either. I know this sounds ironic. But even I don’t know what the cause of this fear stems from. I always tell people that I saw a video of a child not waking up the next day, but I don’t think that’s quite it. I don’t think I’m going to not wake up the next day, even though I used to. I just get sad.

Even when I think of it, it seems ridiculous, but it truly makes me grateful for my college days. In college, I’m too tired to think, nevermind be afraid. I guess that’s one thing that I gain, despite the lack of sleep.

Currently watching the Chinese drama Surgeons; the plot is really well written and the actors really suit the characters.

Never posted this, but I thought that know that school has come to an end, it’s better now than never:

I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve grown to laugh less in college, but when I laugh in college, I tend to remember it more. I guess I can be described as someone who looks for the fun aspect of life, even when it might not seem acceptable.

But I wanted to tell a story of what has been making me laugh recently. I’ve always, and still am, been intimidated by the people in my classes. Somehow everyone seems so be grasping material much faster than I, so I dread having to go to the discussion class where we have to work with others to finish a problem set. In this class, however, I got paired with a partner that, I discovered after the first problem set, was exponentially smarter than I could ever be. I dreaded every class, where I would be completely roasted by my one partner (the other person in the group stopped coming after the first time) by my not understanding of the subject. My lone partner, whom I’ve dubbed “tree”, figures problems out by looking at the question long enough. “How?” is the only question that goes through my head.

Today, tree dropped his graded homework paper on the floor and said “oh noo”, and for some reason, I laughed. It wasn’t the usual, annoying and loud laugh I conjure, but a quiet and calm laugh. I laughed because I was so shocked that someone so calm and so smart could have done something so simply wrong. And I, a person who always talked in a low voice in discussion groups, finally could relate, even if it was a little, to a person who was, seemingly, so different.

I feel like this happens not only when summer comes, but with any school break. I think this has been happening recently with me since college. Because I am being exerted to my limits in college, I feel like when, all of a sudden, I’m not obligated to go anything anymore, that I can just lay on my bed until 3pm and lounge around until I feel hungry. This sounds like such an ideal lifestyle–but honestly it makes you feel like crap. You’re perpetually hungry and tired and you don’t know what to do to not feel that way anymore.

One solution to this problem is to just squeeze out a little bit of time during your busy school/work life to find solutions to your problem (apply for a job, start a project, or sign up for a class), that way, when it really comes to that time, you’ll have something that you’ll have to do by then, but also get adequate rest.

I don’t know why, but television shows are always ten times better when you watch them during finals, or what you have other things on your plate. It creates this tension and makes you want to watch the next episode so much more. After the assignment or exam, I’m always less likely to continue watching for some reason. As you can guess, I did start a couple dramas during finals week because I was “bored”. As if.
I started with this new drama Ji Chang-wook is in (currently airing), called Suspicious Partner. If I watched this during any other time period, I think I would’ve definitely stopped after the first 15 minutes because the female lead was a bit obnoxious, but, for some reason, I kept watching. Because I was severely in need of more Ji Chang-wook (as only eight episodes of the drama were out during finals), I started watching another drama he was in, K2. I steered clear from this drama for a long time because I didn’t enjoy the female lead’s acting and thought that her role would be shallow, but I did end up watching a couple episodes of the drama before finals week ended, and after it did end, I returned to my senses.
However, in this time I also started a KBS weekend drama, My Father is Strange. It’s 50 episodes, so I would normally never attempt to even start it, but the cast looked quite promising, and I’ve fallen for characters that I wasn’t originally watching for, so it was quite a surprise. So far, only half the episodes have come out, but I don’t think I need to worry because the episodes are so long, and actually starting to drag out and get a little slow. My favorite character out of the entire family (it revolves around the life of one family) is Hye-jeong, a self-made lawyer who is cold, but pragmatic, and is the most successful out of her entire family. The rest of the family members struggle financially to find, and keep jobs. Where Hye-jeong’s struggle lies is that she meets her ex-boyfriend again after eight years. It doesn’t quite sound like a legitimate conflict, but trust me, it is.

Today is the day after we moved out of our freshman dorms. I never really get sad over leaving, because it just only means a new beginning, so it wasn’t too disappointing, but it was definitely a lot of effort carying everything and getting my life together. I had Melona today, and I’m about to go back to the appartment to go have some instant bibimbap!

So Winner released their double title tracks in the month of April. I was initially really excited, but then the hype left quickly when the beat wasn’t catchy enough for me. Their songs, Really Really and Fool were good, but I found the style not as unique as their debut album, which I guess it hard to live up to. Even so, I feel like Winner could have been much more successful if they didn’t delay their comebacks so much. In the beginning of the month, Taeyeon also released the final single in her My Voice album, titled Make Me Love You. Not super “in love” with the song, and the music video isn’t too great either. I feel like Taeyeon is slowly losing her touch with slow ballads, or maybe she’s been given too many mediocre songs with little impact. I feel like because of this, recently IU’s songs have gotten a lot of attention. I really get an artist vibe from her recently because of the investment she puts in all of her songs in the album. You can feel the internal struggle she feels as not only a celebrity, but a person, in every one of her songs, and they mesmerize you. Each song has its own character, but at the root of it is very much of a laid back, truly IU feel. In the K-pop industry today, I feel like there has been a lack of connection between the singer and the song. I know a lot of great singers in the world don’t write their own songs, but when they do, it has a greater impact on the listener, as we are able to further connect in the minds of the singers. At first I didn’t really like Night Letter or Only I Didn’t Know, but they slowly grew on me and I can feel IU’s sincerity in every line.

Not super impressed with the music this month, but IU will have to do for now. Next month is GD and TWICE, so I guess we’ll see how that goes.