Earphones designed for watching porn

If you worry that your social life may be getting too active, then we have a treat for you.

A company in Thailand has created a range of earphones that will ensure no one will want to use your towels or even shake your hand again.

You see, the Ladobi ’6-way earphone’ is specifically designed for watching porn, and like an indecent exposure charge or leprosy, possessing it means you’ll no longer have to endure that annoying little thing known as ‘social interaction.’

According to reports, the earphones make female voices ‘more pleasing and less sharp and male voices fuller and rounder,’ which will, as the company’s website claims, help you ‘live like at a home-theater.’

If that’s not the sort of sexually-charged broken English that makes you want to take a hot shower, then we’re assuming you’ve already left this page to buy the earphones.