Motorist alerts plod to charity-running “gorilla”

A Leicestershire motorist dialed 999 to report the sighting of a gorilla on the A6, only for police to discover the offending primate was a charity runner in fancy dress, The Daily Fail reports.

Jogger Rory Coleman, pictured, told Middle England’s favourite outrage factory: “I wasn’t very far from Twycross Zoo which has a large collection of primates so maybe motorists thought one of them had made a run for it.”

Fingernail-gnawing police, who, I might add, are looking an awful lot younger these days, initially refused to accost the manimal, fearing it might be some kind of swan-roasting asylum seeker hell-bent on depressing house prices in the region.

“I think [the police] twigged I wasn’t an actual gorilla when they saw I was wearing trainers and had a rucksack on my back,” Coleman mused.

A sheepish spokeswoman for Leicestershire police said: “We did receive a call from a member of the public on Wednesday at about 4.30pm who reported seeing a gorilla on the A6 and was concerned for their safety.’