Pain, Confusion and Self-Surrender

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By Wes Annac, The Culture of Awareness

In order to grow, creatively or spiritually, we have to be willing to be broken down. We have to be willing to be emptied of everything we once thought was important or essential so the new can come pouring in, and the more we resist, the harder the process will be.

Some of us struggle to find what we want to do in this life, and this can make the process of creative/spiritual evolution more uncomfortable and painful.

It gets even harder if we have an overactive mind that constantly races from thought to thought and desire to desire, and it seems important to relinquish any mind-centered control we forcefully exert and let life flow exactly how it’s meant to.

This evolutionary process will be the hardest thing we ever do if we don’t learn to relinquish control and let life flow, and we have to stop giving in to the mind’s constant thoughts, judgments and demands.

Once we find one or two things we’re passionate about and we can use to uplift the world, we have to wholeheartedly pursue them without letting the mind’s judgments bring us into a place of indecision, where the mind thrives and our connection with the heart is all but blocked.

We can’t let the mind raise dissent from within, which robs us of our passion. No matter what we ultimately decide to take up, we have to remember that without a strong sense of passion for what we do, nothing will seem to flow.

We obviously won’t enjoy the things we’re doing if we can’t find passion for them, and even the job that seems the most boring could change in a heartbeat if we approach it with more passion than we’re used to.

Similarly, the most exciting job won’t be fun at all if we aren’t passionate about it, and because of this, our actual role or mission isn’t as important as the passion we approach it with. If we have love, passion and a sincere interest in our work, then we have everything.

If we fail to integrate these qualities into our work, however, we’ll seem more separate from our mission and our spiritual essence than ever.

We’ll seem to float through life, unable to feel good about anything we do, and we might routinely descend into depression or other forms of unrelenting inner negativity that drain our sense of love, positivity and wholeness.

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We can steer our otherwise sinking ship to the harbor of our choice if we remember to find love and passion, and in some cases, it takes losing almost everything – even our mind-driven sense of self or identity – to realize this.

It takes a complete breakdown of everything we thought we knew; everything we previously held close, to embrace the next step of our creative/spiritual evolution, and it’s one of the most uncomfortable, paradigm shattering things we’ll ever experience.

We have to persevere regardless, because despite the doubt some of us deal with on a daily basis, we know where this process is taking us. We know exactly where we’re headed, and all we have to do is diminish doubt, uncertainty, confusion and every other trait of the mind that keeps us from being who we really are.

I’ve mentioned that a lot of spiritual seekers renounce the idea that the ego is “bad” or we should stay away from it, and while they’re right, we’ll still want to keep it in check. Once we start living from the heart, we find that the ego doesn’t necessarily go away, but instead, it becomes the heart’s faithful, willing servant.

It serves our every need and desire, be it creative or spiritual (as long as those needs/desires serve our higher growth), and people who’ve glimpsed a higher consciousness will tell you that the ego isn’t totally gone.

It’s still there, but it operates in a much smaller sense. It doesn’t have the overbearing influence over us that it once did, and instead, it becomes a quiet, peaceful servant to our higher will and our higher awareness.

This, in my opinion, is how we should develop our relationship with the ego from here on out. Instead of trying to get rid of it, we can recognize that it’s an essential part of us and embrace it from a heart-centered perspective, allowing it to serve our creative and spiritual needs.

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A trained ego makes for a much smoother creative flow and a much more enhanced meditation, and we’ll realize when we go deep enough that we’ve never really been meant to renounce or transcend it – we’ve been meant to work with it in a healthy, balanced way without letting it go haywire.

Some of us have let it get out of control, including me, and the result is always that we feel low, uninspired and infinitely unsure of ourselves or where we want to go from here.

We’ll know when the mind and ego have infiltrated our perception and our ability to make decisions by the way we feel and the thoughts we think, and those thoughts are never positive.

Our perspective on everything is consistently negative, and we convince ourselves happiness just can’t be found in this world, or if it can, it must be in the latest expensive gadget or that restaurant food we love to eat.

Nothing less than a complete breakdown of all those false notions is required if we want to get to a place beyond the endless stress, tension and confusion that fog the mind and block us from the heart, and the best advice I can give is to stay strong when you’re hit with this wave of startling internal and external change.

Stay strong, and try to flow with it as gracefully as you can, because it isn’t about to let up. In fact, the storm’s rage will get stronger until we finally relinquish our resistance and surrender to the higher aspects of our consciousness that are ready to assist us, and we’re the only ones who can make this crucial choice.

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Only we can surrender to our personal evolutionary process and let the chips fall where they may, and it helps to embrace our creative passions.

Again, we have to have some passion in the first place if we want to get the most out of our creative work, and with passion, finding our primary outlet and handling the sometimes devastating, uprooting internal/external changes we face will be simple and maybe even a little fun.

Above all, the best advice I can give is not to let the stress and confusion bring you down. Most of us probably know by now that falling down is incredibly easy, but it’s a lot harder to get back up than it is to fall.

Getting back up is about as difficult as climbing a mountain, and in the metaphorical sense, it’s basically the same thing.

It’s inevitable that we’ll face confusion, uncertainty and tension as we continue to elevate our consciousness and do what we can to uplift the rest of the world, and fortunately, we can feed those qualities straight to our higher consciousness, which some call the “higher self”.

We can feed them directly to the Divine Father/Mother if we want, and regardless of which higher source we give them to, we’ll receive all the assistance we require from them if we learn to open up and let life be, without acting on the constant desire to control things.

Unnecessary control is the overactive ego’s greatest tool, and it’s exactly what we’ll have to transcend if we want to make it through the increasingly potent phases of our evolutionary process that we’ll continue to go through.

Love, strength and passion will show us the way, but only if we can open up and bring these qualities into our lives. We’ll continue to struggle if we can’t, and I’m sure we’re all ready to end the struggle and step into the new, expanded evolutionary roles we created for ourselves before we came to this planet.

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I’m a twenty-one year old spiritual writer, blogger and channel for the creative expression of the inner universe, and I created The Culture of Awareness daily news site.

The Culture of Awareness features daily spiritual and alternative news, articles I’ve written, and more. Its purpose is to awaken and uplift by providing material about the fall of the planetary elite and a new paradigm of unity and spirituality.

5 thoughts on “Pain, Confusion and Self-Surrender”

Great insights, as always! I am of the same opinion that our ego is mandatory in order to release our creative flows, because without it, we don’t even get that much thought into our passions and interests. And I really think we can control it to serve us in our future ‘journeys’.

Thanks, Alin! I agree that it’ll keep serving us as we continue to evolve. The problem seems to be that a lot of people let their egos take over instead of using them the way they’re meant to be used. Fortunately, we’re learning exactly what the ego’s meant to be and how it’s meant to help us instead of hurt us.