Billy Corgan wants you to join the Resistance, announces his new project Resistance Pro Wrestling

I’ll give myself a warning. The following may incite Billy Corgan to call me a hater on his Twitter. But Billy, I kid.

The king of banal controversy and bloggers’ favorite whipping boy, Smashing Pumpkins’ frontman (and yeah, only original member) appeared on Fox Chicago’s Good Day Live (watch video here) to discuss the buzz around his new endeavor — his very own pro wrestling company in Chicago, Resistance Pro Wrestling. This is maybe not much of a shock to people who follow Corgan, be they fans or (more likely) otherwise; he’s been into wrestling for years (big question: how’s his Macho Man impression?). Of course, Billy scoffs at wrestling as entertainment; for his own company, he wants to go back to an “old school feel,” with extra attention to concussion awareness.

For those of you that are now imagining Billy shining up his bald head and strapping on spandex, feel free to continue, but the truth is that he won’t be appearing in the ring (though think about the possibilities: “The Pumpkin Smasher” is just the beginning). As usual, Billy’s situated himself as the brains of the outfit, and he is making the media circuit to announce Resistance’s first event, at Chicago’s Excalibur. Oh, and Smashing Pumpkins have a new album coming out sometime this winter. But with Resistance Pro Wrestling to contend with, who cares? You can’t smear on face paint to celebrate a new album.

Oh, Carles. You are like the Power Glove: people love you, you’re so bad. As Hipster Runoff, you remain the only blogger outside of Andrew Sullivan who possesses the most haters among your readership by percentage. Perhaps it’s the bad grammar and spelling that would make an angsty teenager look at your trainwreck and think, “man, I can’t read this, this is embarrassing!” Maybe it’s your attempts at music criticism that seem more like an ego trip filled with animated GIFs than making an honest case or rational argument. Maybe it’s the fact you sold your sorry ass off faster than even Ben “Yahtzee” Croshaw, who can actually pull the whole “I don’t give a shit for the lulz” satire routine with pizazz.

I must say, though, you make for a quite a bounty. Surely the disputed king of Brooklyn, Pitchfork wants your head on a platter for creating chillwave, thus robbing them of relevance and forcing them to make up that joke of a genre called witch-house. Lana Del Rey (who we honestly never cared about to begin with) and James Blake (who we really do care about) want to punch you in the face for being a prick and trying to undermine their aspirations with your attempts at mockery. Graphic designers have baseball bats with your name on it for ruining Helvetica for everyone. Dov Charney wants his women back. The list goes on.

So why risk your sorry ass by hosting a “festival” in the middle of CMJ, at the Cameo Gallery in Brooklyn? (And why host it during CMJ, come to think?) Sure, you managed to get hype beast Neon Indian to play your Bleepy Bloop Fest on October 21, along with upcoming heroes Beach Fossils, plus Dent May and Teengirl Fantasy. But you already got a bad start by calling it “Bleepy Bloop.” How many synth pop and chip tune players have you pissed off by calling their work bleepy bloop, your generic term? Also, you brought in Tao Lin to DJ? I understand he’s your buddy (I even heard claims that he’s you, but I doubt that), but I suspect that kid would not let a song last 20 seconds before punching the crossfade because it looks artsy.

Finally… you, DJing? Psh. You are probably too big a coward to show, in case your enemies try to go after you. Though, you might make a lucky escape if you play last. By then, around 4 AM, everyone will be as drunk as Matt LeMay at a Destroyer show and will prolly fight amongst themselves before they realize you’re on stage. Still, with it being free and no RSVP required, I doubt you will be safe. You might just want to stay in the Williamsburg cellar you call your apartment. I do suggest moving, though… I hear Mr. Mangum and his wife are really annoyed with your squatting.

In accordance with traditional and societal guidelines for the development of the archetypal American male, some boys get involved in sports as they grow up. Others play with action figures. A small, overlooked minority are forced by their older sisters to join them in their Barbie-related activities, without any disclaimer on the part of said siblings, warning of anatomical inaccuracies. “Wait, are you telling me that your head doesn’t rotate a full 360 degrees? Please, don’t even waste my time.” So was my general attitude toward dating until at least my freshman year of high school.

The childhood of Nate Young (Wolf Eyes, Stare Case, Moon Pool & Dead Band) was far from archetypal. In our interview with TMT’s own John Crowell, Young remarks, “My mother used to get furious with me because I would take apart all my electronic toys. When I got interested in electronics, I had no idea what I was doing. It was a means to an end. At 17, I had broken my guitar by strapping a huge spring to it. All I had was a crappy toy keyboard to jam. I thought it looked better with the guts hanging out.” Thankfully, Young’s affinity for turning equipment inside-out, both literally and figuratively, is what has propelled him to the forefront of the ever-boundary-pushing noise scene. On October 31, his new solo LP Nate Young “Stay Asleep” Regression Volume Two will premiere on Altered Zones. Two weeks later (November 15), the album will receive a vinyl release courtesy of NNA Tapes.

On Stay Asleep, Young utilizes analog synthesizers, digital piano, handmade electronics, and tape loops to convey what he describes as a confluence of negative energy. The death of a friend’s family member had coincided with the initial recording of this album, as well as his acclimation to a new residence. As a result, one might be inclined to expect even more emotional experimentation on this LP than the already deeply forceful and affecting nature of Young’s previous work. In any case, it’s sure to be a trip. And don’t forget to check out Nate’s website, which will be updated in the near future with information on his West Coast tour, slated to last from November 17 until December 5.

Who is Ursula Bogner? A forgotten mid-century German genius, pharmacologist by day, pioneering musique concrète secret synth twiddler by night? A projection of our hopes and dreams of having a mom who’s secretly into creating crazy electro tunes and something called “orgonomy,” where solar energy is harnessed and used to heal stuff? Or an internet construction by Berlin-based Faitiche Records founder/all-around glitch lover Jan Jelinek, whose label is releasing the lady’s latest this very day?

Whatever you want to believe, the super-deluxe-lookin’ Sonne=Blackbox comes out on Faitiche as of… NOW. It’s another big batch of Bogner, arriving three years after 2008’s Recordings 1969-1988, which made out Eureka! list that year. So what do you get besides the chance to convert your American dollars into trusty Euros and a Scooby Doo-sized portion of swirling mystery? Well, in the tradition of all good, sorta obscure, sorta fancy releases, you get a booklet. But not just any booklet! This one is 126 glorious pages of dazzling drawings, fantastic photographs, and something called “compositional instructions” which didn’t really work with an alliterative adjective. Just think: that’s 8.4 pages of ART for each of the 15 broadcast-in-SPACE-style tracks! You do the art math. Mystery or no, this one adds up to an eccentric deutsche electronic music head’s dream come true. Read much more about the LP/CD+book and hear some samples here.

Oh Radiohead. Don’t take it so hard. We all liked The King of Limbs (TMT Review) just fine, honest! You put in the work, and we’re proud of you. Just because some egghead writes a think piece about your standing in today’s culture doesn’t mean you have to freak out like you’ve been doing, with these othersongs and these remix things, and these suddenperformances. You’re better than that, and it’s just… all I’m saying is you don’t have to do something drastic like shake Jimmy Fallon’s hand. Okay, you know what, you’re right, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said “freak.” Please sit back down, guys. Thom. Jonny. Ed. Colin. Baldman. You’re all talented, and— oh come on, that was barely even a joke, Phil, please! GUYS!

Damnit. Lost ‘em. Well… I did my best to slow things down, but it looks like these guys are determined to push forward with this whole post-TKOL-reviews bender thing. Radiohead are now planning on recording new material in December and January at their Oxford studio, according to an interview with Thom in Rolling Stone. One new song was mentioned — “Come to Your Senses” — but was not described beyond being “a five-minute rehearsal.” Still, sounds like an interesting new direction. Also planned is a proper 2012 tour, which has so far been delayed by the unavailability of extra drummer Clive Deamer, who started backing up Portishead as soon as he listened to The King of Limbs a few times.

Most disconcerting for those worried about the band’s future mental health is the news that Thom’s Atoms for Peace band is nearing completion of their debut album, with a goal to have it all wrapped up by the end of 2011. Thommy… buddy… do you not see the critics’ fangs dripping with venom at the mention of that Flea-ridden thing, already composing their lead paragraph that steers the narrative of your band away from “untouchable gods” into “tube sock-wearing has-beens”? Slow down, man, you’re taking this turn too faaaaAAAAAAAST!!! *sploosh*

Grass Widow, the freewheeling San Francisco post-punk-pop-party trio who write freewheeling post-punk-puke-pop songs, are setting off on a mini-tour of these United States (I’m pointing at the East Coast on a map as I say this). Having released their Past Time full-length (TMT Review) on the lovely Kill Rock Stars label last year, they then went on to establish their own lovely label by the name of HLR (as in Hannah, Lillian, and Raven) and put out a 7-inch on it. This 7-inch had two covers on the B-side — “Time Keeps Time” by Neo Boys and “Mannequin” by Wire — and the A-side was a ditty called “Milo Minute” that sounded perfect for playing in front of a group of discerning gorillas, which they then went on to do.

The Milo Minute 7-inch is the first in their “Common Chord” series, with future 7-inches documenting their collaborations with Portland band Nature and the previously mentioned group of discerning Boston-based gorillas. However, all this information, while interesting, is completely beside the point, because what’s important is what’s going on NOW, and what’s going on NOW is a show tonight!! People of Poughkeepsie: find yourselves at Vassar College around 8 PM, enrolled or otherwise, because there you will find the healing sound of angular guitars and harmonized vocals beaming into your pleasure centers! Others on the East Coast: prepare for something similar near you! Prepare, I say!!!