You're a fatass
You're boring
You seek friends
You are interested in having sex with cheerleaders.
You have an IQ lower than 40
You were raised in a world without the Internet
You want to sneak a peek at your same-sex friends' genitals

Why Not To Play Sports

It's difficult
Possibility of injury
On first glance, it may look cool - but it's really not...
Possible risk to your African American ego
Nobody fucking likes you, and you're a pansy-ass.