You are in Africa!! Fantastic!! It is so good to hear from you. It tookme a while to figure out how to get back on the board.

And in your honor:

AN OPEN LETTER TO JAMES RANDI REGARDING HIS "ONE MILLION DOLLARPARANORMAL CHALLENGE."

BY JENNIFER DZIURA - - - -

Dear James Randi,

I am writing to you in regard to your offer of $1 million to anyone who can demonstrate, under proper conditions of scientific trial, paranormal abilities. I deeply admire your policy of holding those who claim to possess supernatural powers to the rigorous standards of scientific inquiry and rational thought by working with these claimants to develop a preliminary, and then a formal, test of those abilities.

The warning, posted so ominously (and, dare I say, smugly) on your website, that "no one has ever passed the preliminary tests" only deepens my conviction to be the first.

Delightfully, I have not only a love for the scientific method but also a demonstrable paranormal skill! I have the ability to control men's minds with my vagina.

To test the claim that I can control men's minds with my vagina, I propose the following experiment:

A statistically significant even number of volunteers will be recruited to participate in the test. Volunteers should be male, heterosexual, and unknown to me, and should have at least $5 on their person. Each volunteer will be assigned to a group: "vagina" or "no vagina."

In every trial, the volunteer will be seated within a short walking distance of a hamburger stand. Volunteers in the "vagina" group will also be seated within a short walking distance of my vagina. Volunteers in the "no vagina" group will have a leaden wall placed between them and my vagina. To ensure that the "no vagina" group is not motivated by even the suggestion of my vagina, I will not be seen by them, and my voice will be conveyed only through a voice-altering device that masks my gender.

For each trial, I will ask the volunteer if he will buy me a hamburger.

I predict that volunteers in visual proximity of my vagina will be at least 50 percent more likely to comply than those separated from my vagina by a leaden barrier.

I think you will agree that mind control of any kind is certainly a paranormal phenomenon, and that this proposal represents a fair test of my ability to control men's minds with my vagina.

As anecdotal evidence—which I am aware is not sufficient for your challenge but seems apropos in an introductory note such as this—I have previously obtained a number of hamburgers in this manner.

First, your subject line -- "MIT Confirms: Al Gore Is Wrong" -- is a lie. MIT confirms no such thing, unless you believe an op-ed piece by a single professor represents the official view of MIT.

Second, it's interesting that in 2001 Lindzen was on a panel of scientists that wrote the paper Climate Change Science: An Analysis of Some Key Questions that concluded "Greenhouse gases are accumulating in Earth's atmosphere as a result of human activities, causing surface air temperatures and subsurface ocean temperatures to rise."

So in a scientific paper he agrees with other scientists that greenhouse gases occur because of human activity but in an op-ed piece he denies it.

Next, Lindzen notes: More recently, a study in the journal Science by the social scientist Nancy Oreskes claimed that a search of the ISI Web of Knowledge Database...

Um, her name is Naomi Oreskes. Glad to see Lindzen carefully checks his facts. And here's what Ms. Oreskes had to say about GW in an article she published in the Washington Post, titled Undeniable Global Warming:

Many people have the impression that there is significant scientific disagreement about global climate change. It's time to lay that misapprehension to rest. There is a scientific consensus on the fact that Earth's climate is heating up and human activities are part of the reason. We need to stop repeating nonsense about the uncertainty of global warming and start talking seriously about the right approach to address it.

The scientific consensus is clearly expressed in the reports of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC). Created in 1988 by the World Meteorological Organization and the United Nations Environmental Program, the IPCC is charged with evaluating the state of climate science as a basis for informed policy action. In its most recent assessment, the IPCC states unequivocally that the consensus of scientific opinion is that Earth's climate is being affected by human activities: "Human activities . . . are modifying the concentration of atmospheric constituents . . . that absorb or scatter radiant energy. . . . [M]ost of the observed warming over the last 50 years is likely to have been due to the increase in greenhouse gas concentrations."

Benny Peiser was mentioned in the op-ed in relation to the Oreskes study, but...

1. Peizer misunderstands the point of Oreskes study. The point was not that every article about climate change explicitly endorsed the IPCC conclusions. The point is that if there was real uncertainty there would be “substantive disagreement in the scientific community” that would be reflected in peer reviewed literature. There wasn't.

2. Peiser didn't find any peer reviewed studies that oppose the scientific consensus. Peiser claimed that 34 papers “reject or doubt” the consensus view. Tim Lambert got Peiser to send him the abstracts of those 34 papers. The vast majority of these papers express no doubt whatsoever about the consensus view. Only one paper, by the Association of Petroleum Geologists, cited by Peiser actually rejects the consensus view and it “does not appear to have been peer reviewed outside that Association.”

In short, Peiser's analysis was in error and he has since admitted that his work included errors.

Peiser's opinions have been debunked and refuted in the scientific community as well...

We therefore conclude that none of these issues raised by Benny Peiser have much, if any, implication for the consensus on the principal climate debate issue: the impact of anthropogenic greenhouse gases.

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration.

The actions of President Bush are prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and agree with Bill O'Reilly.

Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night.

"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. "He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left.

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields.

"Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk."

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves.

"A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of drinking water. "They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though."

When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives.

Rumors have been circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR races.

In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers on Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney hits to prove they were alive in the '50s.

"If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age," an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies.

"I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors does one country need?"

In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice President Dick Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals, a source close to Cheney said. We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might put some endangered species on postage stamps. The President is determined to reach out," he said.

HOLY BIBLE Romans 1:25-27 25 Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen. 26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: 27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.

"Christ said, ”If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink. 38 He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water.” (John 7:37-38) Of course, Jesus is talking metaphorically about living water in this case; if a man literally drank the living water of Christ, that would make him gay."

Before claiming that there is too much "anti-Christian bias" in America, maybe Christians should consider for a moment what it would be like if there were as much bias against them as there is against Atheists in the US. I wonder if they could imagine living in this kind of country:

Both major political parties are overwhelmingly dominated by Atheists, as are all government positions, from local to state to federal, judges included.

On Sunday mornings, radio and television stations across the country broadcast pro-atheist shows, while it is impossible to find religious programming. Atheists have several cable networks exclusively devoted to anti-religious programming, while there are no religious networks.

During the 1988 election campaign, George Bush said that Christians should not be considered patriots, or real American citizens.

Bill Clinton steadfastly refused to give any speeches at any churches.

Many major newspapers run a special weekly section devoted to atheism. There are no equivalent sections for religious news.

Atheist meeting centers are located every few blocks in every corner of the country. Meanwhile, churches are very rare.

Jurors are asked to swear an oath on a copy of the Skeptical Inquirer before they can serve. In addition, the President of the United states swears to Atheist beliefs when he takes office.

There has never been a religious President, and polling indicates that Americans vehemently oppose any Christian holding this office.

All of our money has the Atheist slogan "We trust in man, not God" on it.

In school, our children are asked to pledge to "one nation, anti-God, indivisible".

Every hotel room you have ever been in, provides you with a copy of Nietzsche's "The Anti-Christ". None have bibles.

If you or your children believe in God, you are not allowed to join the Boy Scouts.

Atheist organizations are not taxed, but you are.

Popular culture considers you to be an immoral person, and many even consider you to be "evil", just because you believe in God.

Atheists often proudly declare their disbelief of God in public, especially Athletes and award winners. Politicians consider it essential for winning elections. This is considered to be a positive thing. If any Christian declares their belief in God, it is considered argumenative, negative, aggressive, and spiteful.

Atheists constantly cite, out of context, books of philosophy by noted Atheists to prove that Christians live irrational lives, devoid of morality.

Atheist charities often force the needy who come to them for help to listen to Atheist propaganda before they recieve help.

U.S. Atheist organizations send missionaries to underdeveloped countries to convince people to renounce long-held local religious beliefs and become Atheists.

All prisons have a resident atheist philosopher, and inmates are encouraged to participate in weekly philophical dicussions on Bible Contradictions. This is often reported to parole board, who consider it a good indication of contritenes on the prisoner's part.

Atheists stand in the parking lot of your grocery store and try getting you to accept their anti-God propaganda leaflets.

Even though you ignore them, they come to your house and leave it on your porch.

You might try to ignore it, but then they come by periodically and knock on your door just to tell you your belief in God is wrong, and that Atheism is the only true way for you to live.

Thanks anarch and everyone! The stock market got me attention for a while

Fisting and God's Will: "In the Song of Solomon, the Bible describes the act of fisting and the profound erotic bliss it induces: 'It is the voice of my beloved! He knocks, saying, "Open for me, my sister, my love, My dove, my perfect one”…My love thrust his hand through the opening, and my feelings were stirred for him.' (Song of Solomon 5:2-4) Here we see the lover gently coaxing his companion to open up to him . . ."

HOLY BIBLE Matthew 5:44-46 44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; 45 That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.46 For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?

Middle Age -A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Upon seeing God, she asked, "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live." Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair colour. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years! Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"