IAmRight:Someone who is far more cynical than me might come up with a reason she might've started getting attractive while her husband was gone for several months...

Heh, that happened to a friend of mine. His gf started wearing makeup to work whereas before she'd never ever wear makeup. He said she told him that it boosted her self esteem. I told him dude, she's trying to get the attention of another guy...he didn't believe me til they broke up. He's an idiot.

Waiting for the follow up where she reveals she's pregnant with some other guy's kid, divorces him and takes everything leaving him homeless then he kills himself.

Great. Goes away and leaves a wife who is chill and likes to eat, meaning she is more likely to cook for you and doesn't harp on what you eat. Come back to find a woman who now counts every calorie, is obsessed with exercise and gives you the hairy eyeball over what you eat and why you are not exercising as much as she is. Good-bye burgers and fries and hello to rice cakes and baked, flavorless chicken. YEAH!

mekki:Great. Goes away and leaves a wife who is chill and likes to eat, meaning she is more likely to cook for you and doesn't harp on what you eat. Come back to find a woman who now counts every calorie, is obsessed with exercise and gives you the hairy eyeball over what you eat and why you are not exercising as much as she is. Good-bye burgers and fries and hello to rice cakes and baked, flavorless chicken. YEAH!

The weight is kind of a big deal; but she also BOUGHT A FRIGGIN HOUSE.

I love my wife and all....but I would be pissed off beyond belief if I learned she'd bought a house without consulting me. I'd like to believe that she's got a well paying career and is rational about how much they can afford and knew what type of location he would be interested in, and was intimately familiar with the home-purchasing process, ensured there were no loose ends with the paper work or legal crap, found the best possible mortgage, put down the optimal amount of money given their situation, got the best possible price for the house, and performed all sorts of due-diligence to ensure no costly surprises down the road when they find out something in the house is broken.

But even if my wife did ALL OF THAT, I'd *still* be a little pissed that I wasn't involved....given that I'll probably be expected to contribute financially to the house for the next 30 years.

Maybe that's what works for this couple, but yeah....it strikes me as awfully fishy.

Fark_Guy_Rob:The weight is kind of a big deal; but she also BOUGHT A FRIGGIN HOUSE.

I love my wife and all....but I would be pissed off beyond belief if I learned she'd bought a house without consulting me. I'd like to believe that she's got a well paying career and is rational about how much they can afford and knew what type of location he would be interested in, and was intimately familiar with the home-purchasing process, ensured there were no loose ends with the paper work or legal crap, found the best possible mortgage, put down the optimal amount of money given their situation, got the best possible price for the house, and performed all sorts of due-diligence to ensure no costly surprises down the road when they find out something in the house is broken.

But even if my wife did ALL OF THAT, I'd *still* be a little pissed that I wasn't involved....given that I'll probably be expected to contribute financially to the house for the next 30 years.

Maybe that's what works for this couple, but yeah....it strikes me as awfully fishy.

As does the smell of her bedroom ....

You assume they never spoke about the house purchase, like he was in solitary confinement without outside contact. I submit that they probably exchanged pictures, google street views, real estate listings and skyped with the realtor during the search and purchase. The purchase packet and loan papers were probably fedexed back and forth to get signatures....

zamboni:IAmRight: Someone who is far more cynical than me might come up with a reason she might've started getting attractive while her husband was gone for several months...

... and I might just be that person. I wonder which one she was up to.

A less cynical explanation would be that she lost the weight when she wasn't sharing meals with her husband, who could have been eating tons every day to keep up with the physical demands of his job. So, cooking for herself rather than her husband. Plus, a small amount could have been the baby weight finally falling off. Probably the most important factor was change in routine and role in life with her husband being gone. Someone improving themselves doesn't necessarily mean they have darker motives.

lucksi:The army has no weight limit? And I thought only the cops in the US can be lardasses, did not know it was ok for active duty military too.

Depends on the branch, duty station and MOS. I'd wager except for special units like Airborne or Rangers, the Army is overall significantly more lax on weight standards than the Marines.

In the Corps, you could all of this just by physical appearance at the end of the deployment. Combat MOSs were generally either cut as hell from working out while stuck on a FOB or looked like Auschwitz survivors from doing 2 patrols a day for 7 months out of a PB in buttfark nowhere. Everyone else turns into the stay-puft marshmallow man from FOB food.

RandomCommenter:zamboni: IAmRight: Someone who is far more cynical than me might come up with a reason she might've started getting attractive while her husband was gone for several months...

... and I might just be that person. I wonder which one she was up to.

A less cynical explanation would be that she lost the weight when she wasn't sharing meals with her husband, who could have been eating tons every day to keep up with the physical demands of his job. So, cooking for herself rather than her husband. Plus, a small amount could have been the baby weight finally falling off. Probably the most important factor was change in routine and role in life with her husband being gone. Someone improving themselves doesn't necessarily mean they have darker motives.

Yeah... that was probably it. That 150 lbs of baby weight from 3+ years ago finally came off.

Anyway... I hope that was it. Otherwise, now that he's back, she'll just pack it all back on now that her routine is back to normal, and she's sharing meals with her husband who has to eat tons to keep up with the physical demands of his job.

Actually, one innocent explanation would be that he's an army cook. It would explain his svelte figure as well as her weight loss. Of course she's happy to see him... she's starving!!!

Sandwyrm:lucksi: The army has no weight limit? And I thought only the cops in the US can be lardasses, did not know it was ok for active duty military too.

Depends on the branch, duty station and MOS. I'd wager except for special units like Airborne or Rangers, the Army is overall significantly more lax on weight standards than the Marines.

In the Corps, you could all of this just by physical appearance at the end of the deployment. Combat MOSs were generally either cut as hell from working out while stuck on a FOB or looked like Auschwitz survivors from doing 2 patrols a day for 7 months out of a PB in buttfark nowhere. Everyone else turns into the stay-puft marshmallow man from FOB food.

/Airforce food is always the best, better than stateside.

Actually in my opinion the Army has always had the best food. An example was at the VBC in Baghdad. Sather Air Base had a small, bleh chow hall. Air Force would make it a point to travel to the Army bases and eat at their chow halls on our days off. Their chow halls even had specialized gyro and pizza bars!

mekki:Great. Goes away and leaves a wife who is chill and likes to eat, meaning she is more likely to cook for you and doesn't harp on what you eat. Come back to find a woman who now counts every calorie, is obsessed with exercise and gives you the hairy eyeball over what you eat and why you are not exercising as much as she is. Good-bye burgers and fries and hello to rice cakes and baked, flavorless chicken. YEAH!

firemanbuck:Fark_Guy_Rob: The weight is kind of a big deal; but she also BOUGHT A FRIGGIN HOUSE.

I love my wife and all....but I would be pissed off beyond belief if I learned she'd bought a house without consulting me. I'd like to believe that she's got a well paying career and is rational about how much they can afford and knew what type of location he would be interested in, and was intimately familiar with the home-purchasing process, ensured there were no loose ends with the paper work or legal crap, found the best possible mortgage, put down the optimal amount of money given their situation, got the best possible price for the house, and performed all sorts of due-diligence to ensure no costly surprises down the road when they find out something in the house is broken.

But even if my wife did ALL OF THAT, I'd *still* be a little pissed that I wasn't involved....given that I'll probably be expected to contribute financially to the house for the next 30 years.

Maybe that's what works for this couple, but yeah....it strikes me as awfully fishy.

As does the smell of her bedroom ....

You assume they never spoke about the house purchase, like he was in solitary confinement without outside contact. I submit that they probably exchanged pictures, google street views, real estate listings and skyped with the realtor during the search and purchase. The purchase packet and loan papers were probably fedexed back and forth to get signatures....

"Incredible welcome home surprises: daughter has grown up and the family have a new house too "

If he played an active role in the purchase, none of it would be a surprise. The daughter growing up...well, while I acknowledge that children do grow, lots of people are surprised by how fast they grow. It was one of the most common things I heard at family gatherings as a child and it is something that I say as an adult...so, sure, I can let that slide. But nothing about buying a house should be a surprise. He wouldn't return to the country and be surprised that they had a new house.

IAmRight:Someone who is far more cynical than me might come up with a reason she might've started getting attractive while her husband was gone for several months...

Being a veteran and lived on several bases, I will tell you that cynacism is not needed. It is just the way it is. Guys go on deployment, the parade of guys to the gashes of their wives starts forming before the wheels are up.