"…then there was the year we homeschooled the kids!"

Dedicated to Annie

It seems like I speak about Jane a lot. In fact, she tends to come up so often in conversation that I often worry that I am forgetting about Annie. I also worry (I’m sure if you have read any of my posts you are informed of my habitual worrying) that others might think that I don’t think as much of Annie as I do of Jane – that I think she isn’t as good, or as important as Jane. Afterall, this blog in about a year of homeschooling and Jane is my full-time homeschooler while Annie attends Pre-Kindergarten at a private Catholic school two days a week. Because today was Annie’s first full day of Pre-Kindergarten, and because I want to make sure I share with all of you the story of Annie, I want to dedicate the majority of this blog to her. 🙂 Annie, this one’s for you!

I know some people get on the defensive when parents start comparing their own children. I never got that. It’s hard not to compare them isn’t it? The meaning of comparing is to examine in order to note the similarities or differences of. I don’t see how any parent can avoid comparing their children. Honestly, I spend so much time with my children that I know everything about them. Therefore, it is nearly impossible for me to just not notice what their individual differences are. Afterall, they are INDIVIDUALS! That’s a popular concept, right? But how can we possibly see them as individuals if we avoid ever pinpointing what it is about them that makes them an individual? When you do that with one child then the next, it is nearly impossible not to compare them. Let’s just face it, we all do that. Maybe we don’t admit it, but we do.

The conversation usually goes as follows:

“Little Johnny spoke at an early age, but little Bobby just doesn’t say much,” says one mom.

How are either of those things any different from saying, or thinking, “Annie excels in art and using her imagination while Jane excels in books?” Somehow when children get older and you talk about your individual child’s strengths or weaknesses, people get defensive and take on a how-dare-you attitude about it. It’s not like I say, “Jane is so smart because she learns so well from books, but Annie isn’t because she likes to play more than she likes to read.” In fact, I don’t even think that… not even a little. Annie is just… well, Annie. And Jane is… well, Jane. So there, comparing Jane and Annie is like comparing two different things and noting their similarities and their differences. It isn’t a confession of preferring one over the other.

With that said, I am going to talk about Annie for a bit, but don’t want to come across like I’m “comparing” my kids in that negative way everyone seems to assume. Annie and Jane are like night and day. In fact, I think that is FANTASTIC! It makes life all the more interesting when you add so many different personalities with so many different qualities. It’s even better when it is your children. One of the things I look forward to the most when we welcome a new baby is wondering, “Who will this child be? What will they be like?”

When we found out that Annie was a girl I was ecstatic, but also worried that I wouldn’t love her as much as Jane. Friends with more than one kid informed me over and over that your heart just blossoms with every child and somehow you end up loving them all just the same. That seems impossible until you experience it, but when you do, it is this amazing feeling of growing love that continues to expand like the universe. Annie was no exception. When she came into the world she was instantly new, instantly adorable, and instantly so very different from Jane.

READER BEWARE: I WILL NOW COMPARE MY CHILDREN!!!

Jane was so high maintenance as a baby. She came out requiring so much from the get go. She was premature, had prolonged jaundice, was impossible to breastfeed, and fussed A LOT. At the same time she was so bright and outgoing. She was a “social butterfly” (I think we even had a baby Gap onesie that said that). When I carried her, she wasn’t pleased unless she was facing outward so she could interact with the world around her. She was always moving forward and never ceased to explain herself in strings of never-ending syllables, then words, then sentences, and now entire run-on thoughts without taking a breath. She’s the kid who walks out the door and when it closes behind her you smile while at the same time thinking, “Whew!”

Annie was totally different. She was so soft, sweet, and gentle even from the very moment she entered the world. She never seemed to cry unless something was very wrong, such as an overdue feeding, or unless she was sick or hurting. I had to constantly check her diaper because I would never know if she was walking around wearing a 400 pound diaper. She was always smiling. I could be in the worst mood on an equally as worse day, yet one look at this kid and my day would instantly feel better. She has always met new adventures and experiences with ease. If we had a last-minute change of plans she was always game, ready for anything. I guess I could call her my “easy” kid.

I recall months ago when Molly was first-born – I won’t talk much about Molly in this blog, but let me just say that her and Jane are both very talented in the art of complaining – she was screaming in the car on our way to Nashville. All the while Jane was screaming because Molly was screaming and the noise level just continued to escalate. I remember taking a deep breath, looking back at Annie who was sitting quietly looking out the window, and she turned toward me she gave me this look that said, “It’s okay, Mommy. We’re gonna make it!” We grinned tiredly at each other and tried our best to tone out the squalling that filled every inch of the mini-van cabin.

I admire Annie’s “oh, well” attitude. She just sees things as they are and deals with it without much worry and just tells you how it is. For example, she recently had a potty accident and when I asked her why she didn’t just go to the bathroom she said, “Because I’m just four, and sometimes kids who are four do things like that.”

Today was Annie’s first full day of Pre-Kindergarten and when she left with Jackson this morning I gave her a kiss and a hug and told her to have a great day. She took her Littlest Pet Shops lunch box, turned around, and walked toward the door with a grin. Annie loves school and I never worry about her there. I can’t say the same for home, but at school she never ceases to be a rule-follower. She also avoids drama at all cost. She loves playing with friends, but at the same time could care less if she has no one to play with. I know when she walks out of the door and into the world on her own, she will have a healthy attitude to be able to handle anything that comes her way. I love that about her!

Another thing I adore about Annie is her imagination. While she wasn’t inclined to pick up books on her own until more recently, she was the kid that would play for hours with her Little People. Even at the age of two when most kids are constantly moving from activity to activity, she could sit for hours and play with her Little People sets. We had the farm, the school, the house, the circus, and a garage. We would set everything up in circle of a city and she would sit in the middle creating scenarios. While I didn’t always sit down and play with her, I always listened to her, often amazed at the thing she would come up with. She is still like that to this day; although, the scene has changed from Little People to Littlest Pet Shops and the characters now not only go places, but they have feelings and attitudes about what they are doing. I haven’t executed on this idea, but I have always wanted to sit down and record some of the stories she creates during imaginative play. We could probably write some pretty great children’s’ books.

Something else about Annie is that she always takes a while to digest something she has just experience before she is comfortable sitting down and talking about it. I learned last year that when she gets in the car after school it is best to just welcome her back to her family world and let her know you are glad she had a good day; otherwise, she gets grumpy. I wait until dinnertime or until bedtime to ask her what she did and how it went. At that point she has had plenty of time to think about everything and be able to put it all together for us in an organized manner. This is why I was surprised when she got in the car today after school. No sooner had I picked her up, buckled her in, and gotten back in the car than she had started instantly talking about her day.

She said, “we WENT on an adventure today! We SAW camels, elephants, and giraffes. We WENT on a school bus there. It WAS so much fun!”

“Wow, what an exciting adventure that was Annie. That is amazing! I bet you had so much fun!”

She continued to talk about what they did and what they saw. She was so full of energy when she spoke and at that moment I knew that we had put her in a wonderful school this year. If you notice, Annie didn’t say that they “pretended” or “imagined”. They REALLY WENT there and had those experiences. I might have said this already, but one of my favorite things about Annie is her imagination. She is incredibly artistic and sees the world so differently than (WARNING!!!) Jane! Annie does very well to remind me that life does go beyond that which we see in our physical world. Instead, what we see with our eyes seeps down inside of our souls, lights up our imagination, and can create something new, original, and magnificent. I will always be grateful to her for reminding me of exactly what it is like to be a little kid, and to see the world full of so much color and life once it reaches the point of that which we can only imagine life to be like. Then to be able to take that imagination and turn in back into something physical in the world is such a great strength of hers. Her drawings, creations out of blocks, and the scenarios she plays out with her toys are all indicative of her artistic spirit. I will never cease to encourage her to never see the world any differently and I pray daily that she never will.

One of the main reasons for sending Annie to the school we did was to sort of get our foot in the door to get a feel for the school. We have thought off and on that with our current public school situation, private school would probably be a better option. I have to say that the school we chose for Annie this year seems to be a wonderful place for children to be allowed to grow and thrive not just academically, but spiritually as well. This is not only a necessity for Jane, but for Annie as well. I was proud of her today, as I am every day, but especially because her enthusiasm about sharing her day tells me that beyond a shadow of a doubt, it is a place that will allow her to continue to see the world in such a beautifully creative way.

Annie stole my heart right away, she is a wonderful child, with a big heart and wants to make everything “OK”. She is always helpful, the one who wants to be a part of everything, no matter if its baking cookies or riding to pick up a lot of balloons for a birthday party. I love you very much Annie! Ninah.