Chelle's Blue and Sparkly Corner

Carnelian can be as red as a sunset or as orange as a brilliant Autumn leaf. It has bold energy. Carnelian is stimulating and empowering. It is known as a Stone of Motivation, a Stone of Endurance, a Stone of Leadership and Courage.

There is a history of Carnelian being used throughout history for its protectiveness and its inspiration.

Ancient Warriors wore Carnelian around their necks for courage and physical power when conquering enemies. It was worn by architects in Egypt, who referred to Carnelian as 'the setting sun'. It was used by alchemists in the Middle Ages.

Carnelian is used today to enhance passion love and desire.

It is said to be a Stone of Prosperity, also attracting new resources and good luck. It can be worn as a talisman for success in money-making ventures or in the workplace. It is a Stone of Ambition, Drive and Determination.​

Definitions of Overwhelmed:1 : upset, overthrow.2 a : to cover over completely : submerge b : to overcome by superior force or numbers c : to overpower in thought or feeling.

I just keep trying to remind myself to be thankful even for being overwhelmed.

There will be years in the future, when both boys are out of the house, that I will probably miss the rushing to the appointments, the scheduling of surgeries, the excitement of job interviews.

I will miss the excitement of a gem show tomorrow, the excitement of a day trip to Salem, Massachusetts, on a perfect New England Autumn day.

Being anxious over working the jobs that I do, when I have the privilege of working from home, seems trivial. Though, at times, my anxiety seriously kicks my butt and I don't see how people leave their house on a daily basis and deal with the public. (Seriously…how do you do it? How??)

There were years in the past when I didn't even imagine I would, at any point in the future, have the 'present' that I have now, the day-to-day life where I get to share sparklies with my friends, where I get buy and sell these sparklies, where I get to continuously learn and grow with some of the kindest people I have ever known.

It seems silly to allow myself to be overwhelmed, and yet here I sit, allowing myself to be overwhelmed with the smallest of issues and the tiniest of things.

We have food in our pantry. It may not be the food the boys are always looking for, but we have food and can you really make teenage boys happy when it comes to food? I mean…really?I have friends. Probably some of the kindest, the most sincere and most wonderful friends I have ever had.I have family. My family and Tom's family, who are beyond amazing.Too many good things for me to be sitting here overwhelmed.

So go away Anxiety. I don't have time for you.

​

​Maybe I should wear my Larimar now and not wait until after Christmas.

Larimar is a crystal of serenity, promoting relaxation in every aspect. Use as a worry stone, or place in the home or workplace to assure a pleasant atmosphere.Simply wearing Larimar creates a fundamental awareness of the "all-rightness" of the world.

People can be so incredibly cruel. The ones that once you trusted, the ones that know exactly what will upset you and that is what they prey upon.A life I left behind, even though it feels like a many-tentacled sea creature sometimes that keeps reaching out, sharp tentacles that puncture and stab and try desperately to drag me backwards.Some days I feel I must equip myself with the glittering blue dagger or sparkling purple staff that my characters use when battling on World of Warcraft.I stopped being your punching bag long ago. The cords were cut. The bridges were burned. I roasted marshmallows with that fire and then danced upon the smoldering ashes. I watched parts of the only life I knew bleed out on to the same floor that I tred daily, sometimes walking, sometimes crawling, sometimes not even certain if I was doing anything more than barely existing.You can use your words. You can spit them at me in anger. You can type them with flying fingers meant to harm me. Shout them to the skies because no one else will listen. The moon and the stars are my friends. They are my comfort. They know not to believe you. They pity you. I pity you.People pity you. The world was before you, a glorious, wonderful creation I so carefully built, pieced together with parts of myself that were beyond anything you could, or would, ever understand. You lack compassion. You are a narcissist. You are the ‘pathetic’ one.I now realize that I was playing pretend, allowing someone else to control my happiness, shutting my eyes to the blatant truth, covering my ears to drown the persistent whispers. Love died so many years ago I sometimes doubt it truly existed. I faced life with the hopes and dreams of a little girl lost in a great, big world. When I should have stood on my own. There is no love or even tolerance. There is no hate or bitterness. There is nothing. Nothingness becomes contentment. Contentment means more to me than happiness. Happiness can be false. Happiness can run away as fast as it shows, but contentment…the satisfaction of knowing I am stronger than I ever imagined possible…the feeling of complete fulfillment because I AM what I always knew I could be. You are the ‘stupid’ one.

This is the world I should have created so very long ago, the one where snowflakes fall endlessly. My world is white and fluffy. The stars shine for me! My entire being, my life, is covered with their wonderful sparkly creations of glitter and star dust. The sky is blue, the flowers are blue, the rocks are blue – my existence is as it was always meant to be. Type your words. Make yourself feel better by belittling, by judging, by doing the exact same things for which you condemn others. You do nothing buy justify to others that I overcame every single obstacle. I survived! And you are still there, entangled in your web of lies.Just remember…I am the writer. You truly do not want to have a war of words with me. I know you will think you win because you always win, right, you narcissist fool. Everyone else sees the truth, except you, except the ones who are unfortunately still tangled in your web of deceit.I have a home. I have my boys. I have my animals. I have a family. I am the one with a life filled with fields of wildflowers, rooms filled with puppy eyes filled with adoration, and the life I worked and strived to grow. Every dream you stomped upon, every wish I kept lit by the smallest of sparks. They are all true now. No confrontations. No drama. They are left upon the wayside covered with the dust of the silence that I shattered when I walked away. You are, and will always be, the ‘loser’.

Some mornings or evenings I like to light the candles on the table beside my desk. I won't tell you how many pictures it took for me to get this single picture. The light in the lighthouse blinks, and the selenite tower changes colors. I really wanted the selenite to be blue, but the picture I did manage to get of a blue selenite was a little blurry.

So what we have is the lighthouse in the background, a Pink Himalayan tealight holder, the selenite tower, a selenite tealight holder, a tealight holder with my name, a fluorite tealight holder, an onyx tealight holder (is a little too dark to adequately see this one) and a set of 3 wooden beach-themed tealight holders with starfish. I don't light these often because well...I use a lot of candles here, but it adds a nice ambiance to the room when I do. I need to find more blue lights for the background though! Both of my sets of blue Christmas lights stopped working last week. It was a sad, sad day for Chelle's Corner. It is not quite so blue right now, or maybe a little too blue, depending on how you look at it!

Just wanted to share with ya'll my little collection of spheres. The tiniest one is rose quartz (the slight pink one). The one next to it with the amazing flash is called labradorite. The lore of the origination of labradorite is just...cool. There is no other word for it. Supposedly, labradorite was created from the frozen fire that fell from the Aurora Borealis (or something along those lines). That just speaks to the writer that lives inside my soul on so many levels! The yellow-tinted sphere is Citrine. The sphere above that one, that slightly resembles swirling galaxies, is black moonstone (this one happens to be my favorite). The biggest sphere that I have (which also happened to be the first one I owned) is peach selenite. I am kind of surprised at myself that I do not have an amethyst sphere as amethyst was always my favorite "rock" as a little girl, and I would think that anyone that knows me is a bit surprised that I do not have a "blue" sphere. I will admit I am quite surprised myself! Although, if I am honest, I would totally love to have a blue calcite sphere, but I would totally not love the prices of those things! Maybe one day...

A couple of weekends ago, Tom took me over to Oxford County where a couple of gem mining places are located. Growing up, one of my favorite places to go was the Smoky Mountain Gem Mine in Pigeon Forge. Of course, there, you were given a bucket and then just used the sluice to mine through the dirt. Well, this time, Tom and I actually got to dig in the dirt to find the gems. These are my favorite pieces we found. A lot of Tourmaline!

It was a lot of fun digging for the gems, probably more fun for me than Tom. I think he did the harder work, but it was such an exciting experience for me.

We also found feldspar, lepidolite, black tourmaline, green tourmaline, pink tourmaline, smoky quartz, lots of mica, snowy quartz, and probably a lot more that I just don't know how to identify yet. I think I may have to go back before summer ends.

Yesterday, while at TJ Maxx, I found a selenite tealight candle holder for $2.99. I have been wanting one of these to go with my pink Himalayan tealight candle holder, plus I think $2.99 is a really decent price, considering the pink Himalayan was $4.99 at Wal-Mart.

The pink Himalayan candle holder is an air purifier. It causes negative ions to be emitted, clearing out positively charged particles. I spend the majority of my day in front of a computer. When I heard of these salt lamps/candle holders, I wanted to try them to see if they make a difference in the ambiance of the room. I like to have lit candles anyway so it seemed like a win/win for me.

Selenite is said to have calming properties so maybe it will help promote a calming mood in my work space while I am working too. This is hopeful! Selenite can also be used to cleanse and charge other crystals. That $2.99 is turning out to be an awesome find yesterday!

I also found a couple of neat Punch Studio boxes (I really love those butterfly boxes but they seem to be terribly expensive at most places) but again, TJ Maxx seemed to have them at extremely reasonable prices. Maybe I should consider working this store into my random shopping rotation on a monthly basis.

Back in February, we did get to take a short trip to Georgia so the boys and I could see my brother and my parents and a few friends and family.

My brother had very briefly met Tom, but no one else, family or friends, had met him. While in Georgia, we also picked up the newest addition to the Radcliff Zoo, our newest puppy, Cinderella. Joshua was not feeling his best and was asleep and did not join the pictures.

The many ways this past weekend was good for my soul! It snowed practically all day Saturday and Sunday - big, fluffy snowflakes. There was not an extravagant amount of accumulation, but it was just a peaceful snow; the kind that makes for such a beautiful snowfall, the kind that just attracts your eyes to it, the kind that makes you wants to stand there and just watch it - because it's beautiful - because it's one of God's wonders. I found my eyes drifting to look out the window constantly, and I found myself smiling each and every time. Tom had to run errands Saturday, and he came home with a minion. One can never have too many minions! Saturday, while shopping, we found a Bee-Do minion, and Tom said of course, we had to buy it (and I wasn't going to argue with him!) (Again, refer to the above statement - one can never have too many minions!) XDD Friday, both boys went with Tom and me to see the new Cinderella movie. It has to be the sparkliest movie in the history of sparkles. Seriously! I wonder how much glitter went into the making of that movie. I was not that little girl that adored the Disney Princesses as a little girl. I read the stories, yes, but that was just it - I read the stories. I was more into books and such. I think my favorite was Beauty and Beast for that reason - Belle liked books. I feel like this new Cinderella movie may have been made specifically for me though. All of the sparklies . . . and the . . . butterflies . . .…and the blue. I thought Maleficent would be my favorite movie for quite a while with the way they sparkled up the Moors at night, but it looks like I will be counting down the days until I can get Cinderella on Blu-ray. Definitely my new favorite movie! Saturday, we also found a new Baby Groot at Barnes and Noble to add to my Corner. Sometimes, having hoarding tendencies is not necessarily a bad thing. Tom still had a box of 45 records from the late 1980s, and we spent Saturday afternoon listening to them on the record player. It was great! It was like going down memory lane on roller skates for me! And sometimes, it's nice to be able to bring part of your heritage and add it to your new home. Since our trip to Georgia, I have been able to incorporate my Japanese doll that came over from Japan with my grandma on my dad's side of the family in the 1950s to our new home here in Maine, and also my hope chest that belonged to my great-grandmother on my mom's side of the family. And Sunday, I had to work (Sunday is my regular workday) but Tom worked on some of our planned reorganization in the house. It's going to look so good when we get things finished. Maybe I can talk him into having some type of cook-out and inviting people over! Chelle

The month of February marked 3 years since I had been in Georgia and seen any of my family. It had been even longer since I have seen many of my friends. There were circumstances related to my first marriage that put a bit of a strain on some friendships and even some family relationships. (Please see February 3rd post if you want more information.) My family, aside from my brother, have never met Tom. So, Friday, February 13th, we waited until after midnight, so I guess actually it was Saturday, February 14, and we set out on a trip to Georgia: Joshua with Tom in the truck, and Anthony with me in my car. Don't ask me how I did it, but I left Storm here. Katie was house/pet-sitting for us, but leaving that booger behind when it was time to leave was difficult. The drive from where I now live to where I lived my whole life (Rome, Georgia) is approximately a 22-hour drive, approximately 1300 miles. We were fortunate as Tom's dad lives in Virginia, and I had never met him, so we stopped there after a day of driving. I know I was tired, and I was stressed beyond my overwhelmed limits, but I thoroughly enjoyed meeting both of them, and I hope we get to see them again soon, hopefully when I am not so anxiety-beaten. I can never thank Tom's dad enough for taking the time to sit down with Anthony and talking with him about some life decisions he has to make soon. For some reason, the same exact information I have been trying to get through his stubborn skull made sense to him when coming from another person. It was more or less, a 14-hour drive to their house, and then we woke up the next morning and set off on an 8-hour drive to my parent's house. Well, that was the idea. About 2-1/2 hours from his dad's house, in North Carolina (still 5-1/2 hours from our destination in Georgia), we had…automobile difficulties. Tom was driving Pat's truck, and I was driving my car. The whole purpose of the trip, and the reason for the 2 vehicles, was to accomplish the task of hopefully transporting more of my belongings, and the boy's, that we had to leave in Georgia when we first relocated to Maine. I traveled almost the entire time behind Tom. Apparently, I don't drive as fast as he does, and well, it is no secret that I tend to get lost…rather easily. I have absolutely no sense of direction, not even when there is a GPS telling me which way to go. There was a moment when I saw his back right tire smoking. Trying not to panic, I called his cell phone and asked him to pull over so we could look at things. My overactive imagination had all kinds of bad scenarios playing out. It ended up, and I may get some of this wrong, the rear spring leaflets were broken. Well, the truck was supposed to have 3, but for whatever reason, the right side now only had 2. The middle piece was gone, but the broken piece had been rubbing against the tire (that was the smoke we saw) and Tom and Anthony both said it was amazing that the tire did not blow. I would not look at the tire. I didn't want to see how bad it looked. I guess I'm a big ole baby that way. The left rear tire was in a very similar situation, except that the broken leaflet spring was lodged against the tire well, so that tire was more or less still safe to travel. Eventually, Tom was able to lodge the broken piece loose on the driver's side and remove it so as not to cause more damage. We actually found a tire place open on a Sunday (after like 5 hours) and were able to get the significantly damaged passenger side tire removed and replaced with the spare tire. Then we resumed our trip to my mom and dad's house. Our intention was to arrive there about 6 p.m. Safe to say, we did not get to my parent's house until a little after midnight. The whole time, we were counting time against icy weather that was moving in to Georgia. I was so tired. And my wonderful dad had not eaten dinner, choosing to wait and eat with us when we got there. My mom had cooked hamburgers and barbecue pulled pork for us. So, yes, we ate, after midnight. It was an overall interesting trip. The Maine weather seemed to follow us down there. We had to leave going to Georgia, trying to find safe travel between two winter storms, and we did the same thing trying to get back home. We honestly had to plan our travel days between snow-filled days. But we made it, and we were able to make new memories, and we were able to make it back home safely. Despite the shaky beginning, it was overall a successful trip!