That's right, 14-year-old Dylan Moses, a middle-school football star from Louisiana, has been deemed ready to run the ball in the SEC long before he ever runs it against even a defense filled with high school freshmen. Well, he's projected to be ready by 2017, that is.

Reports say Moses, who runs a 4.45 40-yard dash and has a 34-inch vertical jump, has also been offered a ride by LSU, but somehow it seems slimier when Saban does it.

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It's slimy because of what it does to talented young kids. With recruiters descending upon their elementary and junior high schools, the pressure on would-be future stars to mature and perform even earlier is that much greater.

Somewhere Bobby Knight and Damon Bailey are smiling.

-- In a semi-related story, Saban has dismissed four Crimson Tide freshmen from his football team following arrests on charges ranging from second-degree robbery to credit card fraud.

No word yet on how he'll handle in-school detentions received by members of his eighth-grade recruiting class.

-- On the subject of mistreatment of young athletes, Martin Tremblay, a 48-year-old youth hockey coach in British Columbia, Canada, was arrested, convicted and sentenced to 15 days in jail for intentionally tripping and knocking to the ice a 13-year-old opponent and his teammate during the postgame handshake line.

Somewhere Todd Bertuzzi is smiling.

-- Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te'o shocked scouts and coaches at the NFL scouting combine when he ran a 4.82 40-yard-dash, as his draft stock continues to plummet. Apparently Te'o is even slower on the field than he is on the phone.

-- Also at the combine, University of Colorado tight end Nick Kasa claims that at least one prospective NFL employer was as interested in his preference of companions as his preference of pass routes or blocking schemes.

"Do you like girls?" Kasa says he was asked, prompting a statement from the league reiterating its support for federal employment laws against discrimination.

Sexual orientation continues to be a hot-button issue when it comes to NFL locker rooms. Mike Florio of Pro Football Talk declared Monday that GMs and coaches in the league want to know if Notre Dame's Te'o is gay, although he would not attach any names to support his claim.

Somewhere Michael Vick, who in 2004 famously responded to false rumors of his own sexuality with the line, "Everybody who knows me ... knows how I like to get down," is smiling. Or not.

-- History was made last weekend when women competed in a mixed-martial arts fight at a UFC event. Ronda Rousey and Liz Carmouche battled for nearly a full round before Rousey submitted her opponent with an arm-bar with seconds left before the bell, and women had arrived in the most popular MMA promotion in the world.

Is that a good thing?

Call me old-fashioned, but there is something decidedly uncomfortable about watching women fight. That's not being sexist, it's being traditional.

Somewhere, chivalry is still smiling.

-- History was also made on the track last week, as Danica Patrick became the first woman to sit on the pole at the Daytona 500, and the first to lead a lap in the historic race before finishing eighth.

And, yes, I was rooting for her to win. Not being much of a race fan, her emergence in the sport makes it much more interesting, and the moment she wins her first race will be a watershed moment.

At this keyboard, evidence of gender-equality is smiling.

-- Uh-oh ... now we've done it. We've gone and upset the King of South Beach. And now he's going to punish us.

Well, not "us" per se, but he's going to punish fans who have made a habit of showing up early for Heat games to watch his highlight-reel dunk festival in layup drills.

"Maybe I should stop because it's making a lot of people mad about what I do," James whined. "They're like, 'Well, if you can do it in warm-ups, why don't you (want to) be in the dunk contest?' Stop it.' "

He's right. We're totally out of line. Expecting one of the greatest leapers in the history of the game to compete in an event that helped lift the NBA to new levels of popularity when its superstars participated in it, is completely unfair.