Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Second Chances (aka I'm Being A Bigger Person)

well you're not talking to me but i wanted to say that i miss you and I was wrong and you were right but i know you don't want me and i am sorry

I messed up a good thing

cause I am sub

stub

me: what?

4:31 PM stubborn?

Dean: yes

not willing to try something

set in my ways

and i am sorry for that

me: i know what you mean

ok

Dean: and i am sorry i hurt you

me: ok

4:32 PM Dean: did you find some one else already

me: it's been a week

so no

Dean: lol you sexy and hot

and really nice

me: yeah, that might be, but i'm not really in the mood to go out and date, you know?

4:33 PM Dean: well i would like to take you out on a date if you would want to ?

maybe a beach date tomorrow

4:34 PM i'm a dumb ass for letting you go just cause of what you eat

a fool

my head was all fucked up and now that i have had time to see out of the box I know you were right and i was wrong

4:35 PM u there?

me: but do you understand that it goes beyond what I eat?

Dean: yes

4:36 PM me: like, there's the whole keeping a jewish house, and having traditions that I have been raised with

and would like to continue

Dean: I am a jew and my kids should know what that is too

yes i do

and i want to know them

me: ok

Dean: and you never know maybe i will like them or maybe not but i want to be with you

4:37 PM me: ok

thursday would be better

mara and i have a date tomorrow

Dean: tell her i said hi

ok

i will be free for you

4:38 PM me: ok

Dean: i know i will have to make things up to you but i will try my best

me: ok

Dean: I like you way to much to let you go

me: ok

Dean: and i am sorry it took time away from you to see that when i know it all along

me: i need to take it slow

4:39 PM Dean: thats cool

if you just want to start off as friends I can do that

me: we'll see how thursday goes

Dean: what ever you need hun

me: and go from there

Dean: ok

me: i actually have to get going to my mom's for dinner

i'll talk to you later

4:40 PM Dean: but if your going to slap me make it the right side of my face the left hurts already

me: why?

Dean: ok have fun with you mom

well it's funny

4:41 PM i was dreaming of you last night and it was a really good dream but then fall of the bed and on my face not so good

me: lol

Dean: yes i thought so to

4:42 PM cut my arm too

me: ouch

Dean: but it;'s like not even there now

just a bit of a scab

me: klutz

Dean: you know we r

=P

me: anywho, gotta run

4:43 PM Dean: any way i know you have to go and thank you for giving a fool another try even if it's one date it's a start

bye hun

So, Dean and I have a "date" on Thursday. I have already decided a few things about how this will go:

1) NO SEX: for at least a few weeks-months. I have electronic devices to get me through that.2) No kissing on the first date. Fuck that shit. I'm running this game now, and he will have to wait if he's going to get back in good with me.3) He will have to prove himself worthy of me. I'm not getting back into a relationship right away with him. He will have to show me that he, indeed, has changed, and that he's not just spouting off at the mouth about this stuff.

Michael, my ex who originated this blog, told me that I am making big steps by accepting someone back, instead of writing them off. I know that we are not out of the woods yet, and that this might not be our only disagreement, but I want to take things slow, figure things out, and then decide what to do. No more rushing forward with things.

Slow and steady wins the race, right?

So, with that said, I guess my blog is up and running (again). I have decided that no matter what happens (good or bad), I will be chronicling it. I hate backlogging, so it will be out there for whomever wants to read it.