Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Okay. I need to breathe for a second. Sort out my thoughts. Try and figure out what to make of this jumble of emotions I am feeling right now...

5 Stars. It was sadistic.... it was traumatizing.... it was down right painful to read... But god, I loved it. Damn it all, I freakin loved this book.

My first thought after finishing up this gripping story: Is there something seriously wrong with me? Why would I actually enjoy reading this book? Why do I think this is now going straight to my "favorites" book shelf? Is my brain not working correctly? How could I possibly give this book 5 stars after seriously wanting to chuck my kindle across the room?

Well, I don't know if there is something seriously wrong with me... All I know is that this book captivated me from the very beginning to very end.

He was the monster that no one thought to look for in the light of day. It was a common mistake. People often believed they were safer in the light, thinking monsters only came out at night. But safety - like light - is a facade. Underneath, the whole world is drenched in darkness.

Meet the gorgeous daylight monster, Caleb (Keleb, "Dog"). He didn't look like the type of man a girl should fear. In fact, to Livvie- he was salvation. He was the man she ran to when another was seeking to cause her harm. That's how she met Caleb. Running away from a stalking man and throwing herself into the arms of another. Throwing herself into what she didn't know at the time- was simply another predator.

Caleb new he needed a pretty American girl. They were were the most desirable and he needed the best if he was going to get to the man he was destined to kill- the man he had been waiting and trained to kill since he was just a young boy. He knew that this girl, Livvie, or as he likes to call her "Kitten" would be perfect for his needs.

He had chosen a beautiful submissive. And what was a submissive if not adaptable - if not a survivor?

Meet Livvie. Livvie has had a rough life. A mother that doesn't love her and insists that Livvie is a whore. A father that is no longer around and the memories that she does have are all hurtful. She has a number of brothers and sisters- she is seemingly not close to any of them. All she can do is try to survive, try to make her mother love her- try to prove to herself that she is not a whore.

That's when she's captured by the very man she has been fantasizing about since she ran into him. Believing that he was one of the good guys- only to find out he's from her very worst nightmare.

Yet is he?

Livvie seems to be two different people. She's strong and feisty yet at times she's shy and submissive. When she just can't take any more- she lashes out becoming more like a lion than the "kitten" name her captive has given her.

It would seem as if Livvie can't be broken- yet that's exactly what Caleb needs from her. He needs to break her down. He needs her to give into his every command. He needs her to do without question, to stop fighting him. But it's against her nature to allow herself to become this for him... Will she? Will she be what Caleb needs her to be?

Kitten and the Dog... How fitting are those names? They seem to go together dont they? But do they really? Are those two animals not opposites? Or do those two things belong together? They are both animals. Not humans. No no, not humans.

A dog can be trained to attack. A dog can be trained to kill under command. A dog can be viscous if not loved and cared for. Is this was Caleb has become? Has he become the name that his capture had given him?

Kittens... Small dainty little things.. Mewing when upset or hurt, purring when happy and content. Kittens are sweet, docile creatures. When faced against a dog- would they ever stand a chance? Sure they have nails- they can lash out. They can cause some harm, do a bit of damage- stand up for it's tiny self. But when it comes down to it... It's still just a small, innocent animal. In the end the kitten would lose the fight against the dog. Is this Livvie. Is she now exactly what her capture has named her... a Kitten.

That's Caleb and Livvie's relationship. Cat vs Dog.

The relationship between the two is obviously confusing. At the beginning Livvie runs to him for safety! Even after she's been captured by him- she still seeks his arms when other men threaten her. She wants Calebs arms wrapped around her.

There are times where Caleb does things to her that just make you want to jump into this book and strangle is psychotic ass... He does things that are humiliating, painful, and all around frightening.

There were times I felt like I was Livvie... I felt trapped, i couldnt move, I couldnt breathe, couldnt speak... Because if she did she would be punished and there was absolutely nothing she nor I could do about it... So, I did the only thing I could possibly do in this situation- I continued to read.

*******************************My final thoughts
This book made me uncomfortable. It was dark, horrific, challenging, and dangerous. It was disgusting and disturbing. It pissed me off.

I don't like Caleb.
His past now dictates who he is- and that bothers me. He knows what he is doing to Livvie is going to break her soul. He knows this because he has experiences it. He knows what it's like to be humiliated time after time... To have your choices chosen FOR you. He knows what it's like to be beaten. He knows what it's like to be sold to man after man for sex. He knows all of this- has feelings for Livvie, yet he still plans on going through with selling her to the worst of them all?

I hate him.

I may go back and edit this review in a few days when I've had more time to process

Sunday, January 13, 2013

I'm so excited that right now I am #45 top reviewer in the United States on goodreads!!!! So in order to boost up the amount of followers I have on both my blog and on goodreads, I'm holding this little giveaway!
I know it's not much but I'm excited! :)

All you have to do it follow my blog in some way ( leave a comment as well)
And friend me on goodreads!
BAM, easy!

Seriously.
Someone needs to get on that like right down- Mark my words. The movie would be a freakin hit!

A Beautiful Lie was not what I expected. I admit I didnt do much research about it, I didnt even read other reviews... I honestly just jumped head first into this beautiful story.

I was pleasantly surprised.

I was getting into a bit of a book funk and this cured it.

The heroine was a beautiful woman with spunk to match. She was fierce and powerful and could take care of herself.. You gotta love a female character that is seriously bad effin ass. And Parker was definitely that.

The main man, or as I like to call him my new husband, Garrett, was the hottest thing. Lord. He was down right sexy with his love for Parker and wanting nothing more than to be with her but keeping his feelings from her because his best friend was "in love" with her. The fact that he was a military man just made him that much hotter to me. *fans self*.

The story was rich with action. Twists and Turns were spewing from every direction and half the time I had no idea what would happen next.

I fell in love with Parker and Garrett and wanted to jump into the fighting scenes and kick some serious ass every time there was a fight!

I did not expect the story I just read. Woah. Escuse my jumbled up review. I dont know what to say without giving too much away.

Even though I read this book yesterday and waited a day to let my heart do some much needed healing- I still ache when I think about this story.

It's beautiful. It's painful. It will knock you down on your knees begging for mercy. By the end you will feel stronger.

Let's meet Sky.

Sky is such a beautiful, funny, strong female character. God, I just love her. Sky lives with her adoptive mother Karen. Her best friend Six lives in the house next door to her and they constantly are climbing in and out of each others windows. They have done this all of their life- well since they have known one another... What has changed? Well they are older now and now they sneak boys into their rooms. Not to have sex- well at least Sky isn't having sex. Sky just wants to kiss- because kissing makes her feel numb. There is absolutely zero feeling when kissing these boys. She doesnt get the butterflies in her stomach, or the ache to want to to do more- she just doesnt care.

So what does Sky do when she's kissing? - She lays there and counts the stars on her ceiling.

Yup those stars that we use to beg our parents for! The fun glow in the dark ones! Sky loves them because Sky loves the sky. ;)

Sky has been kept away form technology- supposedly because Karen doesnt believe in it. They dont have a tv or phones or the internet. But after begging and arguing Karen for YEARS- she's finally going to goto Public school- for her senior year!

Insert- Bad rumors about Sky being a slut.

Insert- Six goes off to study abroad.

Sky is basically alone

Insert- New best friend- Breckin. (Breckin who is funny, adorable and... well he's morman. Oh and gay. I forgot gay).

And then she meets Dean Holder. <3 <3 <3

Holder is the "bad boy" the guy that people are afraid of- the one with a horrible reputation... The guy that can never heal from losing his sister.

But is that really who Holder is?

Sky finds herself more than just a little attracted to Holder- which is a big deal because she's never been attracted to ANY guy before! I mean ANY. So the fact she feels the way she does about Holder is just insane. Their connection is intense. Holder wants her. She wants Holder. But he's holding back form her. He wants to make sure she's feeling the way he's feeling before they kiss- he doesnt want her to be numb.

“Sky, I'm not kissing you tonight but believe me when I tell you, I've never wanted to kiss a girl more. So stop thinking I'm not attracted to you because you have no idea just how much I am. You can hold my hand, you can run your fingers through my hair, you can straddle me while I feed you spaghetti, but you are not getting kissed tonight. And probably not tomorrow, either. I need this. I need to know for sure that you're feeling every single thing that I'm feeling the moment my lips touch yours. Because I want your first kiss to be the best first kiss in the history of first kisses.”

"The moment my lips touch yours, it will be your first kiss. Because if you've never felt anything when someone's kissed you, then no one's ever really kissed you. Not the way I plan on kissing you."

But when they finally do kiss- she definitely feels it ;)

Now things are getting a little weird for Sky. She has strange dreams, strange memories- that she isn't sure are real or fake. Holder acts strange sometimes- getting angry or moody for no apparent reason and she's just all around confused by it all.

One night when things are getting really heated (romantically) between her and Holder- Memories start crashing in. She remembers things that she hadnt just moment ago. Things about before she was adopted by Karen. She knew Holder. She knew Less. She knew them before she went to live with Karen.

She hurts from being lied to by Holder. She hurts with the realization that she has also lost Less and she hurts for the person she used to be. She's hurt because she's realizing she is two different people and doesn't know which one is the real her. She doesn't know how to be both.

Holder then take her to the look at the stars- so that he can explain everything....

Her entire life falls a part that night...

The events of your life are all crammed together one minute right after the other without any time lapses or blank pages or chapter breaks because no matter what happens life just keeps going and moving forward and words keep flowing and truths keep spewing whether you like it or not and life never lets you pause and just catch your fucking breath.

Sky finds out something insane about her life- something that seems unreal.

She runs away with Holder to find her past.

Her past turns our even worse than she had imagined... It's painful. It is so hopelessly painful. All she as is Holder her keeping her alive- helping her survive what they both have just learned of her past.

I can't go into all the details of this because it's absolutely necessary for you to read it... But it's heart wrenching and sob worthy. It'll break your heart while at the same time- build you back up.

Some more quotes I love.

Fuck all the firsts, Sky. The only thing that matters to me with you are the forevers.

We wrap our arms around each other and we cry. We cry mother to daughter. We cry aunt to niece. We cry victim to victim. We cry survivor to survivor.

The sky is always beautiful. Even when it's dark and rainy or cloudy, it's still beautiful to look at. It's still my favorite thing because I know if I ever get lost or lonely or scared. I just have to look up and it'll be there no matter what...and I know it'll always be beautiful.