musings on living a brave & badass life

Posted on December 31st, 2014

Letting it be easy is a huge part of my Badass Self-Care practice and it has been on my mind a lot lately. The holidays are usually a time when I fall deep into making-things-hard mode. This year I did it differently, although not without a bit of panic! Watch the video below for more on my journey into letting it be easy (11 minutes).

Posted on October 20th, 2014

My friends and family lovingly joke about the number of selfies I take. For me, taking and sharing a picture of myself is a self-care and self-love practice. Selfies are about seeing myself with kindness and honoring who I am at any given moment in time. They remind me to look into my own eyes with love and kindness. They allow me to shift my perspective, my mood, my day.

For every selfie I post there are at least 10-20 that I don’t. I think it is important for people to know this. To remember that each picture captures only one angle, one filtered piece of me and my life. This is part of the beauty. We get to choose what we focus on, what we highlight from the bigger picture. Same goes for life.

A few hours later I felt compelled to share this picture with the following caption:

This is another I took earlier. I didn’t like the mark from a cold sore that’s healing or the way my neck looked. The truth is that this picture and my earlier one were taken in the exact same moment. The beauty and the flaws are all part of my truth right here, right now. #lifeintheampersand

This is what it’s all about for me right now. Embracing it all. Dancing with the light and the dark. I’m done denying parts of myself to try to fit into an artificial box that makes life easier to understand. Life is messy and it’s complicated and it’s freaking brutiful. I’m learning to open to it all. I’m living in the ampersand.

Posted on October 17th, 2014

This week in my newsletter I shared how I have been hanging out in the comfort zone a little too long for my liking. I am ready to move back to my edge, to safely push myself into bigger and bolder territory. A few ways I plan to reclaim my edge:

Posted on August 8th, 2014

I like to complete the prompts the day they are given. This may be Magic Making Circle and not graduate school, but I am still the girl who likes to shout out the answer before the teacher even finishes asking the question.

I’ve barely just figured out who I am now, let alone the next iteration of my messy, beautiful self. Me from before would muscle through it and pry the answer from somewhere, anywhere. Me from now is frustrated with the lack of answers but she is able to sit with the unknowing, to impatiently trust that the answers will come.

I want another tattoo so badly. Hours spent on Pinterest searching for the perfect talisman. Hundreds of mildly inappropriate stares at the wrists, forearms, shoulders of beautifully inked strangers. Who I’m becoming won’t allow me to settle on something good enough. She knows my forearms are sacred, limited space. That I must be sure; that I deserve to be sure. That I’m still stepping into the next iteration and now is not the time for permanent decisions. That just as my forearms are limited real estate so are my heart and mind. That I deserve the time and the space to really discern what to let in and what to release.

I go to get my nails done and a color pulls at me. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever chosen and I can’t take my eyes off of it. It hits me. This color is my becoming. Grey-ish. Purple-ish. Space between. All here. I am becoming the woman who stays. She stays with the hard, the confusing, the scary. She no longer runs to food or wine or work. She doesn’t try to fix it or figure it out. She is learning to breathe through it, to be with it. To inhabit her life. To trust. To surrender. To truly let go. To simply be.

Posted on August 4th, 2014

I’ve quietly started writing a weekly love letter from my heart to yours. These letters are where I dive in deep and share my personal journey. I typically do not share them on my blog or social media because, for me, they are created as an intimate conversation that lands directly in your inbox. In the spirit of being brave and badass I am going share a few of my favorite letters here with you all. If they resonate and you’d like to read more I would be honored to have you subscribe (sign-up form on the side bar).

Between here and there and I have no fucking clue what there looks like.

I can feel I am on the cusp of an evolution. I can see it in my life.

Deciding not to teach anything for six months.
Giving up my nightly wine in favor of running or writing.
Swapping out my daily cup of decaf coffee for tea.
Limiting my refined sugar intake.
Going several nights in a row without watching TV.
Deciding to write a weekly newsletter even though I’m terrified I have nothing to say.
Quitting biting my nails after 30 years.
Starting my blog posts with pen and paper.
Committing to a 5-day retreat without thinking through the details.

One of my friends comes to me in a dream. She says, “Change doesn’t have to be like an arrow. You don’t have to go back to move forward.”

Feeling uncertain, anxious, and confused I can’t sleep. Browsing the internet I read, “What if there is nothing to figure out?”

I open my vision book and a phrase finds me, “No, really, let go.”

Messages making their way into my psyche.
I notice, but can’t yet integrate.
I feel the truth but can’t yet speak it – write it to you like I want to.
I see the evolution happening, but can’t yet name it.

Maybe it can’t be named. Maybe it has to be felt. I close my eyes and breathe.

Posted on June 10th, 2014

Feeling my way into the grey that is my now – not quite the old me and not yet fully the woman I am becoming.

Honestly, I am pretty terrible at it. I resist this in-between space so, so much.

A few guideposts that are easing my journey so far…

Clearing away the old to make room for the new. Message after message to create space. I unsubscribe from newsletters I once loved. I look in my closet and decide to give away most of my clothes. I’m finally able to part with my daughter’s baby things.

Being guided by the feeling. With no clear path I follow the feeling. At the top of my calendar I write, “How do I want to feel today?” and let that carry me through my day.

Looking within. Frustrated and craving answers I get quiet and listen for my intuition. “Just do the next right thing,” she says.

Reminding myself that the journey deserves to feel like the destination. What am I on my way toward? Why do I want it? Why do any of us want anything? Because of how we think it will make us feel. Joy, gratitude, and fun are my guides. I choose in alignment with what calls them in.

Posted on June 2nd, 2014

Posted on May 26th, 2014

This post is part of the #mywritingprocess blog tour. A big thank you to my magic-making sister Alison of True North for inviting me to play along! Be sure to check out Alison’s post on her writing process – so much creative inspiration to soak up!

What am I working on?

Currently, I’m working on deepening my relationship with my inner self and others. Writing is at the center of this work. My relationships and my life’s work are evolving. Writing is the tool that guides me home to my true self and connects me with my tribe of brave, badass women. I’ve gifted myself with a six month sabbatical from teaching workshops and holding women’s circles so that I can dive deeper into my own inner work. I’m planning far into the future for my business and my writing, which is way out of the ordinary for me (more on my process below). I’m devoting more time to connecting with my tribe through my writing here on the blog and in my newsletter. Specific writing pieces that I am working on include a blog post describing my guideposts as I navigate this evolution in my life and work, a newsletter sharing more details about the changes, and an e-course on mindfulness in daily life.

How does my work differ from others of its genre?

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” ~ Dr. Seuss

I write about living an authentic life. I share insights and inspirations from my own practices for self-care and self-love and I talk a lot about the importance of following your big dreams. There are many other people writing awesome blogs about creative and spiritual growth. My writing differs because it comes through me.

Why do I write what I do?

“What would happen if one woman told the truth about her life? The world would split open.” ~ Muriel Rukeyser

I write what I do because I have been inspired, held up, and affirmed by other writers.

I write what I do because I want to remind women of their innate worth and beauty.

I write what I do because I know that every time a woman makes the conscious decision to make her dreams a priority the world shifts toward love.

I write what I do because I believe that when we are connected with our truth and living from that place we are helping to heal the world.

How does my writing process work?

I’d love to say that I have some beautiful, consistent writing process. The truth is I write when I feel inspired to write. Currently, I’m trying to get inspired more often! I am writing in my journal (almost) daily. I am taking the time to note inspirations that strike after yoga or while driving in the car. I’ve also started writing a first draft of my posts by hand in my journal. There is something about writing by hand that activates my creativity in a different and awesome sort of way. Finally, I am crafting a list of ideas and topics to write about and creating a posting/sending schedule. This is totally new for me and I’m excited to see where it leads!

I usually try to publish my post as soon as possible after the idea hits and before fear of sharing my heart publicly kicks in. However, sometimes I have to really sit with a post before I can send it out into the world. My recent post on people asking me if I’m pregnant when I’m not hung out on my laptop for weeks before I hit publish. I re-worked it in about 15 minutes one day and then it just felt ready to be seen. There are other times when I write a post and it just feels too vulnerable to share online. I let it sit or sometimes pull a component from the larger piece to share on the blog. Most often though I share these vulnerable thoughts with the people on my newsletter list because it feels like a safe, sacred space for me.

Thank you again to my friend Alison for inviting me to participate in the #mywritingprocess blog tour! Now I am passing the torch to three other amazing women bloggers who will post their own answers next week. Without further ado…

Misty Pittman is the owner of MoonShine Yoga in a teeny, tiny town in Kentucky. She is also a writer/poetess/word huntress and is passionate about living a creative and blissful life. She is days away from officially launching her new website Life Created Blissfully. Please have a sneak peek or visit her previous iteration at Bumble and Bliss.

Heather Shafer is a certified Dream Coach, Holistic Life Coach, and Inspirationalist! She believes that connecting to our deepest and most creative Selves is critical to living our best, most powerful, lives. Heather’s purpose in life is to learn to express herself fully and authentically, and to teach and inspire others to do the same. Her website features inspiring stories, tips and ideas to help you live an Inspired, Creative and Empowered life.

Jennifer Winarski is a multi-passionate artist living in Western NY with her husband and two sons. She leads workshops in Intuitive Painting and Art Journaling. Jennifer is also the founder and leader of the Connect Inspire and Grow (CIG) woman’s circle for fearless dreamers. She has always loved being creative and helping others. For many years she was a Special Education teacher; however the stress and her lack of time for her art slowly broke her down. She took time off to start a family and that is when her transformation began. Jennifer rediscovered herself. The true self that had always been there just waiting to shine. Jennifer’s mission is to use art as a catalyst of change for other woman seeking their true self. Keep an eye out for Jennifer; she is planning to unleash her creative workshops online! Visit Jennifer at Mindful Canvas.