Komo News – Fire crews were called to a home in the 10200 block of 34th Avenue SW just before 8:30 p.m. on Tuesday. Firefighters originally battled the blaze from a distance after learning there may be ammunition inside. Crews were eventually able to extinguish the fire, but not before it did significant damage to the structure. A man who lived at the home told fire officials he was trying to kill a spider in his laundry room using a can of spray paint and a lighter when the wall caught fire, according to Kyle Moore with the Seattle Fire Department. The man wasn’t able to put the fire out himself, and he left the home when it began to spread.

Here’s a live clip of the man upon discovering the terrifying arthropod …

I dislike spiders as much as the next guy, but come on. Whatever happened to a well-timed strike with a rolled up magazine to take out one of these pesky little jerks? Using a can of spray paint and a lighter is some next level diabolical shit. I guess he was trying to send a message to this spider’s buddies that his house was not to be fucked with, but instead, he sent a message to the world that he’s a total moron.

“I don’t want to encourage people to do this, but that’s what he did,” Moore said. “The spider tried to get into the wall. He sprayed flames on the wall, lit the wall on fire, and that extended up to the ceiling. There are safer, more effective ways to kill a spider than using fire. Fire is not the method to use to kill a spider.”

No shit, pal. Virtually any other method is safer than setting your own damn house on fire. The only worse method that I can think of involves gunfire and slow drink service.

The building, which is a rental home, will cost roughly $40,000 to repair, Moore said. It will cost another $20,000 to repair or replace the contents of the home. As for the spider, Moore said: “I’m pretty sure the spider did not survive this fire. The whole wall went.”

Well, there ya go, it’s a happy ending after all. That spider messed with the wrong melon farmer.