Friday, October 26, 2007

I just wonder sometimes....why would it be considered so tacky for someone to say,

"hey, I appreciate that you want to give me a gift for a new baby/wedding, etc., but you know what would be best for me considering I have debt and all of these expenses...why not just cash? You don't have to spend time looking for stuff and I can use the money where it would be best served."

"Wrong, my friend. It's not the place, you need to find the right boss."

You're a linebacker. You need to find a coach who appreciates your skills as a linebacker, your passion for being a linebacker, and, if you're as good as I think you are, one who will change part of the defense to highlight your skills. Don't go to a place where the coach makes you play wide receiver."

When I first started dating the one who shall remain nameless, I introduced her to my Palm Pilot III as "my girlfriend."

When we got married, my PDA at the time (whatever it was), was promoted to "mistress."

The other night we were chatting about how important (at least we think it is) to ensure that your first line of emotional outlet is with your spouse. When married couples rely on friends or therapists instead of a spouse is when, I think, some get into trouble.

She said to me, "you know sometimes I think the Blog may be your first line of emotional outlet. The blog is your new mistress." She said it with a smile, so she was joking...sort of :-)

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

It may not be this way in every marriage, but in many I've observed, the mother keeps much more up to date with the medical issues of the child than the father.

This morning, I was "asked" to take Paco to the doctor.

In the past, I would debate, saying "he's fine," but now I know that it's not worth it and I should just take him. Besides, even if "it's just a virus," there's always the 1 out of 10 times when it's not and well, let's just say, it's not worth it.

So, I get there for the "sick hours" at 7.50am (they begin at 8) and usually, I am the first one (the time lag between first and 2nd is HUGE), but today, there is another dad there who obviously knows my system.

We share the same story, "our kids are fine" and laugh that knowing husband laugh.

He kindly lets me go first (what a guy!) and we're in to see the doctor by 8.02.

Of course, the MD tells me that it was wise to come now and that we should give Paco some pre-emptive doses from the nebulizer.

I'm more upset about being wrong (again!) than the fact that Paco is sick (yes, I know that's warped).

But, I've learned my lesson and instead of trying to remember everything the doctor says, I just hold up my phone as a dictating machine and have the doctor give all of the instructions right into it.

Growing up, there was only one incident-JFK's assassination- that I remember my parents and their friends all recalling exactly where they were. I'm sure there were more, but it was one that seemed to cut across all experiences.

I am going to venture a guess as to some of the "I remember where I was when...." moments.

So I just finished watching The Queen (a movie I really enjoyed), and in watching it, the realization came to me that what the British public (and maybe the world) liked/loved about Diana was her willingness to appear as totally and completely human.

In stark contrast to the Monarchy, I saw the evolution from a command and control/monolithic approach (Monarchy/Industrial Age) to a more human/real (Diana/Internet) age, marked by a desire for, and appreciation of, transparency.

In giving the interviews she did and almost yearning for the paparazzi, she was willing to be authentic in her presentation. A non-royal woman living in a royal world.

Maybe a stretch, but like Diana, I call it like I see it.

Solid movie which I thought did a great job of telling as many sides of the story as there were.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

So, I was on the subway the other day with my dad, who accompanied me on my Spy Museum Field Trip, and our conversation turned to Prosper, which I touted as the democratization of lending and the disintermediation of the banks and credit cards.

I used that as an opportunity to begin a mild sermon on the "democratization of everything" and I pulled out the book Citizen Marketers, which I received after winning a contest on one of my favorite blogs. (You may remember this blog from the Metamucil episode).

What Jackie and Ben (hey, I can be on first name basis w/them after talking Metamucil, right?) do better than anyone is help you understand how the field has truly changed.

At some point, my dad said to me, "but Microsoft can buy ads in newspapers and on TV, they can outspend you."

My answer, "cash doesn't matter. The authentic story does."

Ben and Jackie elp you understand the seismic shift that is occurring in how how companies market and the power of the individual. The major point, "People are the message" and the "1 percenters," those who take the time to create content online and express themselves can write a blog post or upload a video for free and then, through word-of-mouse, get the same amount of exposure (or more) and with GREATER credibility than a Fortune 500 with a billion dollar marketing budget, influence thousands of people.

Budgets don't matter. You can't "control" the message. It's a new era. Companies need to adapt and you can take advantage of it. Join us!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

I'll just say that I am upset it took me this long to visit the Spy Museum. Apparently there are more spies in DC than any other city in the world and now, thanks to a highly interactive and informative exhibit, I am better prepared to handle them.

For a history buff and techno-gadget geek, it was a tremendous confluence of major life interests, but even if you are not both or one of those, I think you will enjoy the experience. Took about 2 hours.

Too often we take the city where we live for granted. Nice to take a moment to stop and smell the local roses (even though my buddy Auren thinks that is a waste of time)

Perhaps it was the wine of the new year, but we started brainstorming on a book topic based on a unique skill that I possess...helping women in bad relationships realize they should break up with their boyfriends. (Note, the skill goes the other way, see here)

After a few weeks, it's obvious that I am not going to actually write the book (I've hit The Dip), but I thought it would be fun to post the proposal I sent her. (Of course, she came back with an 11MB 41 page doc of what a 'real' proposal looks like, so there!)

There are at least 4 women I can identify (but won't) who give me credit for giving them "time back in their lives" with a stern talking to and a realization that they should pack their bags and move on.

The ultimate question for the book, however, is how to package the knowledge as a process so others can help their friends.

Anyway, here's the rough idea.

Thoughts?

The Breakup Doctor: Book Proposal

Like many women, Rachel was stuck in a relationship that wasn't going anywhere. Twenty-five years old, upwardly mobile, bright, attractive, and funny, she lacked the self-confidence to recognize that Will, her boyfriend of 1 and a half years and also 23 years older than she, was not ever going to commit to a serious, long-term relationship.

Most of Rachel's friends recognize that she should get out, but like many women, they preferred harmony over confrontation. As a result, they eventually just accepted Rachel and Will's relationship.

The Breakup Doctor didn't.

The Breakup Doctor was committed to making Rachel realize and admit to herself something she already knew. She had to break up with Will….COLD TURKEY…and move on. Like pulling a Band-Aid off, it had to be done as quickly as possible.

Today, Rachel says, like many of the other women that he has helped, that the Breakup Doctor "saved me at least 6 months of time by helping me realize that I had to have the confidence to move on."

Now, the Breakup Doctor's technique is available to you.

In this book, he will demonstrate how you can actually be a BETTER friend to your friend-you know, the one caught in a bad relationship.

The Breakup Doctor will show you how to:

1. Use a sensitive, but firm, questioning style to determine if your girlfriend is in a bad relationship

2. Paint "future pictures" so that your girlfriend can realize what everyone else already knows, but not feel pressured to arrive at that point

3. Have the confidence the make the break and to do it WITHOUT LOOKING BACK

Too many women convince themselves that they can "fix" the boyfriend, fear being alone and 'out there' again, and seek to avoid confrontation…only to hurt themselves emotionally and their chances of actually finding "Mr. Right."

Over the years the Breakup Doctor's techniques have helped many women get over these hurdles and get on with their lives.

Now, the reader can as well.

LADIES…when it comes to dating, TIME is your enemy. Don't waste it in the wrong relationship.

A "mitzvah" literally means "a commandment," but to "do a mitzvah" can also mean, colloquially, "do a good thing."

Each day, Calanit takes in a "mitzvah note" to her class for her teacher to read. I don't normally write these for her, but today, I was asked to do so. It read:

Calanit honored her Abba [father] by displaying an increased understanding of the rules and regulation of football. She correctly identified the time remaining in the 3rd quarter and she said "Touchdown!" at the appropriate time."

Saturday, October 13, 2007

I was able to go for a run in the late PM and when I came back, I took over solo duty for Paco and Tonka for exactly 100 minutes.

I was pretty wiped out, as I had to navigate through dinner, baths, and bedtime (high degree of difficulty), but when I was finished, I said, that felt more like 3 hours (180 minutes) than 100 minutes.

So my new parenting work effort ratio is 1.8:1.

So, if one spouse works an 8 hour day at an office, and the other spouse spends the day with the kids, it's as if the home-staying spouse worked a 14.4 hour day.

Friday, October 12, 2007

I took a new job within Microsoft yesterday. Beginning in Nov. More on that later.

The offer came in around 1pm via email. Of course, as a salesperson by training, I know that you NEVER accept the first offer. Got to see if there is wiggle room.

So instead of heading in w/guns blazing (hey, maybe I am maturing), I called one of my mentors, Bill Forsyth, and asked his sage, calm advice.

Which he gave.

5 times.

Over email, IM, and phone in a harried 6 hours (you know me, I'm like a pitbull.)

I said to him at one point, "wow, you really are ready for game time."

He responded: "You know, this is the 4th time this week that I've been asked to play a mentoring role (not all contract related)."

"You really are valued."

"When you get to my age (he's 50), there are more people below you than above!"

"Well," I said, "I guess I will just have to Pay It Forward."

And you know what? Today, I did.

Two of my mentees called me asking for career advice (Andy Ridinger and Scott Chait) and I was able to provide it. Useful? I don't know :-) Next task...get them to improve their shoddy LinkedIn profiles.

That's extremely powerful for communication, but what about the knowledge aggregation component?

Well, this week, (motivated further by Book Review: Never Eat Alone ) I've been testing that out. As you know, I am a huge fan of LinkedIn (see why here), and I took advantage of a feature called "Answers" where you can put questions out to your network (and their network!) which is exactly what I did for a challenging marketing problem I am facing at work (For background:Marketing Challenge: Microsoft in Web 2.0?).

Well, not only have I received some GREAT answers, but I've made NEW contacts as well.

And while this was top of mind from me, I received this brilliant video forwarded to me about a service (www.carmun.com) that essentially tries to bring Facebook and LinkedIn Answers (they cite Wikipedia) together-mostly focused, at least initially on college students.

Monday, October 08, 2007

Whenever I go out to eat sushi, I have to spend a fair amount of time explaining to the wait staff about two things.

no sesame seeds (allergy)

which fish is permitted for me to eat and which isn't

I rarely have a problem, but it usually takes a long time and a series of back and forths.

Back in May, I went out to Seattle and Tjada suggested "I Love Sushi."

When the waitress appeared, I began my usual explanations.

"You're kosher, right? Don't worry. I am Jewish."

And she (Elizabeth) took care of EVERYTHING.

Plus, she was a great conversationalist.

So, last week when I was in town, I said to Tjada, "we have to go back there."

I walked in and found Elizabeth. She remembered me and after convincing her to stay (she was about to get off her shift), she once again helped simplify the ordering process.

During the meal, the conversation turned to politics and Elizabeth (who is pretty liberal) challenged me on my views, namely that radical Islam is the single greatest threat we face as a country.

Well, she didn't really challenged me, but she warned me that "you need to watch out who you are in bed with. The religious right is out to convert all of the Jews."

"That may be true," I answered, "but they aren't going to blow us up."

She recommended the movie Jesus Camp to me, which centers around an Evangelical summer camp that trains young children to spread the Christian message of God.

On the one hand, I was supposed to be frightened. I wasn't clear what the agenda of the producers was, but clearly, I was suppose to think, "wow, these folks are raising zealots and they are going to try and convert me and everyone else. Plus, they don't want a separation of Church and State."

On the other hand, I did admire them. The raw emotion that the kids had in terms of love of God was inspirational. Their value, in terms of "family values," that is, certainly are in the right place. Seeing a 9 year old cry out of love of God is pretty powerful, no matter where you stand on the spectrum.

I guess one realization I had was that, given the 30 million Evangelicals and their firm "Right to Life" beliefs, that my guy, Rudy, will either 1. never make it through the primaries or 2. suffer from the Religious Right staying home in November lest they vote for a Pro-Choice candidate.

I had originally said, "would you rather get 50% of what you want [Rudy] or 0% of what you want [Hilary]" since I think that Rudy is the only one who can pull the moderates, but now I understand that it's not that way. Losing the Pro-Life (anti-Abortion) issue is so complete that it outweighs everything. Pretty powerful.

Elizabeth thought I would see the determination of the Religious Right (and I do) and, in many respects, (MANY), I disagree with them.

You know that feeling you have on a webcast that not everyone is paying attention?

Or, how some of us (guilty as charged) attend webcasts from home in less than full professional dress (unshaven and t-shirts).

Well, that era is slowly coming to an end.

There's a new product called Microsoft Roundtable which (along with the video capabilities of Microsoft Live Meeting) now brings conference rooms together.

It really adds to the experience.

There's a common fact cited that only 7% of communication is verbal. So what this technology means is (in addition to having to get dressed for webcasts) you can get closer to having the connection you experience with face to face at a fraction of the cost.

Of course, it doesn't replace face-to-face, but it does augment. Another tool in the belt.

When you are 13 (well, some at least) you are on the Bar Mitzvah circuit. Later, it's the wedding circuit. When Nana and Poppy were alive, they talked about the funeral circuit.

It's like the market, you have ups and downs.

We've been in a lull for a while, but the next 6 weeks is a peak.

Today (Mark and Sarah Spira, he a friend since Kindergarten), we had the first of 3 weddings and next month, my 2nd brother is leading us to MinneSOHta for his nuptials. And next month, the Karate Kid himself (I'm Miyagi) will have his Bar Mitzvah.

Saturday, October 06, 2007

I stopped by the mailbox in my office on Wednesday and found Juggling Elephants in an envelope. No indication whatsoever from whom it was sent.

I don't know if it was a message that I need to get my act together or just that I might enjoy it, but a parable in the spirit of Who Moved My Cheese?, it was an easy read.

The basic premise. It's impossible to juggle elephants, so don't even try. Your life is like a circus and you are the ringmaster. There are three rings

Self ring

Relationship ring

Professional ring

Much like a ringmaster has to decide which ring to be in at a given time, so do you. And, you should never have a MAJOR act going on in each ring at the same time. What's more, you need to find the right acts to place in each ring so that the WHOLE circus is a success.

While I was reading it, I thought "cute, but hokey," but over the course of the next 2 days, I found myself asking the question of "what ring am I in now?" and "should I be putting this in a ring at all?"

So, I guess it had an impact on me. Any book that makes me think about how I think is worth it.

I liked the music, loved the acting, and appreciated the historical perspective that Dreamgirls gave me on many of the challenges that blacks faced in breaking into the 'white/mainstream' music audiences.

The vocals were really superb, the outfits over the top (but worth it) and overall a good show.

There were 1 or 2 parts that I thought dragged on, but didn't detract too much, hence the 4 stars (out of 5).

Monday, October 01, 2007

Why, when you are paying $300/night for a hotel room, do they feel like the can nickel and dime you for everything ($12 for internet, $16 for parking).Come on! (see more on this here). Maybe because they can. I guess you can always charge more to people with money (don't worry, I'm on a biz account)

What Wikinomics proposes to do is explain how the concept of mass (often, voluntary) collaboration (the wiki principle, as it were) among co-workers, peers, producers, consumers, partners, suppliers, etc. is going to change the way that products and ideas are developed for the marketplace.

And, I have to say, they do a pretty good job of building a case that the paradigm for development is shifting.

Well, they build a good case in terms of facts. The flow/storytelling of the book is a bit redundant and dry, but these guys are consultants, not storytellers (of course, they should be, but that's an argument for a different day).

What I did enjoy about this book is how it continued to expand my mind in terms of what the ongoing Net revolution may mean for industry (and you as consumer) going forward.

They have a neat website and a good blog where they, in the spirt of the Wikinomics book, invite you to share in the ongoing collaboration of the book's ideas.

I'm obviously not one to be anti-technology, but I wondered what we lost on our road trip, by making the portable DVD player available to the kids.

We certainly had less screaming and fighting and whining, definitely a positive, but we also had to consciously tell ourselves to turn off the DVD and help our kids understand that "the journey is the destination."

Plus, I wondered if things like "the license plate game" and other road trip favorites have gone the way of the Dodo bird?

I did explain to them, as we crossed the Delaware Memorial Bridge, why waterways were of historic importance from a economic development perspective. Plus, we engaged them in the beauty of upstate NY's nature (the leaves are just beginning to turn). Some of the stuff just requires more work. It's easy to get lazy and go DVD the whole time.