Comedian. Writer. Trouble-maker.

Look, this was my day off and frankly, I don’t feel an obligation to make it public. I will say that this 18 hour stop in Melbourne was one of the best 18 hours of my life, for various undisclosed reasons. I mean, we’re close, Blog, but not that close. If you’re feeling left out, you’re more than welcome to imagine* those 18 hours, if you must.

*Your imagined scenarios, however, will not be nearly as sexy as my 18 hours turned out to be. Did you upgrade me to the Penthouse Suite in your imagination? Did you imagine said Penthouse Suite only accessible through a secret elevator on the 20th floor? Did you then have me enjoying the Penthouse Suite by watching Sandra Bullock in The Blind Side? Yeah, didn’t think so.