This morning I feel numb and horrified at the same time. There were almost no people walking in to work this morning. Did people take the day off? Are there as many people in this country who feel as if they are walking through some post-apocalyptic world despite the fact that the sun is shining, the world looks the same, and half the country is actually happy?

I will probably scream if people start talking about a mandate. I didn’t like it when Obama said it. No election as close as these represent a mandate. I would only accept that word in a landslide vote. This was not a landslide. My radio was on when I turned on my car. I had to turn it off. People were calling in and saying America has spoken. As if it was a huge percentage. It was a razor thin edge. The worst sorts of people came out of the woodwork. People who wanted change at ANY cost and don’t care if it hurt this country. They just want to ‘break’ Washington.

I might have supported and even applauded Trump if he hadn’t approached this on a platform of hate, fear, distrust, and violence. I have actually thought something did need to break the Washington Machine for it to ever change. But this was the worst way it could have happened. There was a tiny, secret part of me that actually thought that maybe he should win and people will get what they deserved and I hoped they would then regret what they did. But I refused to ever say it. I didn’t want to do anything to put any of that energy out into the world. I didn’t really think he would win.

Congratulations to half of this country. Your man won. It just goes to show the country hasn’t progressed as far as we thought. People who want to keep black people, Hispanics, Jewish people, Muslims, and women down so that they can continue to feel better about themselves have won. People who feel that with the rise of all the people listed above that they have lost their power and that they need to take it back have won. People who represent the lowest and worst of this country have won. People with hate in their hearts have won. People who think women are lower themselves and that women should have no control over their own bodies have won. People who think men don’t need to control their own reactions and that women should be controlled in order to ‘protect them’ from the things they have been given the ‘go-ahead’ to do because ‘boys will be boys’ have won.

How is it that people who complain that Hilary is one of the ‘one percent’ have bought into the idea that Trump is not? Trump came from money, always had money, borrowed a huge amount from his daddy to get his business started, and yet people think he knows what it is like to have to work his way up. He never did. He is a silver spoon baby and never knew what it was like to need money. We don’t really know what he is worth because he wouldn’t provide his tax returns. He did admit to finding enough loop holes to not pay any taxes for 13 years or something like that. But he says he is worth a LOT but at the same time cheats his contractors and vendors by telling them thinks like, “we don’t have the money to pay you, we can only pay you 70 cents on the dollar. You better take it because if you take it to court, you will probably win, but we can make it take so long that you will lose everything and go broke before you ever win.”

How is it that people will believe that a man who likes having portions of his companies overseas because he can pay the workers FAR less than he can in the United State will ever do anything to bring jobs back to the U.S. He seems to think that he is some type of Roosevelt character who just has to build enough roads and bridges to put people back to work. Roadwork goes on all year round here. The roads are constantly being repaired. Roadwork never stops. Sure, many bridges are in a state where they need to be repaired. But that was discovered years ago and most of those are in the process of being fixed all around this country. He also implied that the problem with education is that we need more schools and he promised to build more schools and more hospitals. We have enough schools and if you count Emergicare offices, we have facilities. Building more isn’t going to solve the problems. Repealing Obamacare isn’t going to help lower medical costs. These issues are far deeper. We need to pay teachers better; we need to make sure existing schools are supplied with the tools needed to teach kids. We need to value students more as well. Parents need to take more responsibility over their children’s behavior and student’s need to take more ownership of their own learning process. The health industry has to stop gouging patients and more reasonable pricing needs to be put into place and enforced. Building more schools and hospitals isn’t the solution.

One earbud fell out of my ear and I heard a girl near me say that her one vote wouldn’t make a difference. The point is that if you put ever person saying that together, you have a block of votes that WOULD make a difference. So I REALLY hate that saying. Which leads me to how angry I feel towards people who didn’t vote for that reason, didn’t vote because they couldn’t be bothered, voted for third party candidates and threw away their vote or voted for a write-in and also threw away their vote. Anyone voting for a write-in or a third party is actually voting for the person they LEAST want to win. In nearly every case, that would have actually caused Trump to have lost those states rather than have won.

On the whole, I’m still in shock. I could go on and on, but this is getting long enough as it is. I’ve also lost my direction as I was working on this between tasks and at lunch. I didn’t have the advantage of taking today off work. There are so many things to talk about where this went wrong and will continue to go wrong that maybe I should save those for another time.