Sunday, January 29, 2012

Guns, lots of guns.

When I was younger, I worked briefly in the seafood department of a grocery store. Come break time, it was always easier, and practically as cheap, to steam up a mess of shrimp as it was to go get in the car and get some fast food for lunch. Did you know you can get heartily sick of shrimp?

Once upon a time, I really, really, really liked guns. There were guns I wanted soooo bad: I remember when getting a Spectre, or a P7M8, or a Mateba Unica-6 was the highlight of my whole month. I fear I've burned myself out a bit: the Specter was as useless as training wheels on a jumbo jet, the HK was hard to find leather for, the Mateba was a pain in the butt to clean...

There's nothing that really lights my fuse like that anymore. Oh, sure, I usually find something of interest at a gun show, but a lot of the thrill is gone.

M1868 Papal States Remington:Because if the dead rise and walk the earth in search of human brains, there's nothing better with which to put them back into the hereafter than a rifle with the Keys of St. Peter stamped right into the receiver, no matter what Hornady may state to the contrary. Too bad the 12.7x45R cartridge is a handloader-only proposition these days; maybe we can get them to do a run of Z-Max, just in case.

Webley Mars Pistol:Because it's cool. Ammo is completely unavailable, but you don't even need to shoot it: You can go on at length about Sir Gabbet-Fairfax's long-recoil pistol that drew the cartridges rearward from the magazine and fired a bottlenecked .45 that was the most powerful handgun cartridge around until the hot .357 Magnum barely edged it out, and the ejection pattern would... and your assailant will be bored to death. Like the Webley-Fosbery semiauto revolver, this thing's practically a Trivial Pursuit answer in solid steel.

Russian military contract Winchester M1895:A box-magazine-fed, Browning-designed, fully-stocked, 7.62x54R Winchester levergun with a bayonet lug that may have been used to shoot Bolsheviks in Russia and Fascists in Spain. What's not to like?

My theory on the Gabbet-Fairfax Mars: a malefactor accosts you, you hand him the thing, instructing, "My good man, if you're so tough, shoot me with this!" He misses (due to the dire handling of the thing), the heavy spent brass hits him square in the forehead and knocks him out, and you pick up the gun by the slide and beat him to death with it. Totally impractical for a military weapon, of course: not only does it take too long to hammer the enemy to death with such a small, odd-shaped club, it's undignified and uncivilized. People would talk. Also the machine-gunners would pick you off while you were so occupied.

Am I sensing a trend towards high rate of fire and "not allowed to own" kind of firearms here?

Side note: My Dad had a chance to get two broomhandled Mausers in the early '50s for $15 each. He spent the $25 he had at the time on an 1873 Springfield trapdoor 45-70 instead. He is still kicking himself for not borrowing $30 from his father and buying all three. But I don't hold it against him as he let me have the 45-70 when I graduated from college.

Dang, all these people who are listing Broomhandles as wish list guns makes me think I should market my C/96 here on VFTP!

Oh, and Tam...really? I happen to have a Model 51 in .32 in about the same "shooter" shape as yours (hint, hint).

The only gun I really lust for in a fantasy sort of way (provided I hit the lottery) would be a German WWI experimental externally powered Gatling-gun, the Fokker-Leimberger. If any still exist. Think 7.92x57mm caliber, 12 barrels, and 7000+ rpm rate of fire!

years ago I bought a Chinese clone with detachable magazine that would go full auto when you pulled the trigger. The first time I was quite surprised. The second time it was a lot more fun. After that, back to the dealer for a trade in.

Kind of regret not keeping it and figuring out how to fix it. Those box magazines were sure easy to load.

A Blaser R93 Professional with two barrels. Long Bull 7mm Rem. Mag. for "Reach" and Short Bull 416 Rem. Mag. for "make it stop NOW", QD Mounts with suitable Khales glass on both barrels.

A hand built 1911, al la Tam's, where you actually go to the place where it's made, specify every piece, and then take delivery from the people who turned the chips.

A nice 20ga. SS double with English style stocks, single selective trigger, selective ejectors, and fixed chokes (=lighter barrels). A Beretta Silver Hawk would do nicely, or better still having back the Browning BSS I sold 15 years ago like an IDIOT!!!

95% or better Mauser Broomhandle in 9mm with stock holster and all accessories / matching numbers.

My tastes are utilitarian in comparison to a lot of the list, Tam's most certainly; I'd like a nice Steyr AUG, 14" barrel, please, just because. I'd like a 5" lug barrel Ruger GP100 stainless .357 Mag (passed one up, kick self often). I'd like a Rock River dedicated 9mm AR SBR (I know, I know, really, I know) with a Surefire and a nice reflex sight an BUIS. I'd like a really top of the line, Marine armory tuned .308 semi-auto AR platformed super shooter, reach out and touch many someones, for my wife and last but not least, I'd like a Ruger PC9 type carbine that I can slap my SR9 mags into. Told you it was a crap list!

Remington Model 53 -The .45 ACP version of Pedersen's elegant Model 51 that never caught on with the military. One can only imagine what the current gun market would be like if this had supplanted the 1911.

M79 Grenade Launcher -I'm pretty sure this one needs no explanation.

Holland & Holland .458 Bolt-Action Magazine Rifle -Never been a hunter, but part of me always wanted to go bag some enormous and pissed-off animal on an old-school safari. Or a dinosaur.

Special Operations Weapon- A Remington 870 fitted with a kit that turned it into a blow-forward-operated full auto shotgun fed from a 20rd box mag. Um... yeah.

Stoner Model 63 -The old-school gun-as-a-Transformer

Runner-up would be the MP40 with curved barrel attachment for shooting 'round corners, and an M1903 Mk I, M1917 Enfield, AND ... (gasp) Remington Mosin-Nagant M1916 with their respective Pedersen Devices.

Gads...reading all of the above was like jumping into a warm bath of gun-gasmic salts. Soooooo satisfying to marinate in such distilled and rarefied wishes. Like ny chessies, if it's really good -- roll in it until the scent is indelible. I reek of blued steel and oil and cordite and black powder and ...

Not a list I was expecting to see the name Glock listed on, then Reno wants a whole brace of 'em!

Can't say one would show up on my list of most desired, but probably would on a list of survival tools.

Which brings me to Tam's post on the Glock book the other day. I haven't read it, but commented on my own experience as a dealer as to their dead brilliant marketing and methods.

Then today, of all places on NPR, there's an interview with the writer Mr. Barrett. He came across as a genuinely non-judgemental, even admiring, historian and story teller...he confirmed some of my experiential data, and his conclusions at the end were music to hear; I was surprised that some of it made it to air. And the interviewer didn't play interferer too much, excepting a few innocently incredulous comments indicative of someone who has been innoculated in the ways and line of the nanny state.

Kulsprutegevaer: Assuming that's the same thing as my rusty German would realize as Kugelspritzengewere, it would mean bullet squirting rifle. Cute.

Lately, I'm been struck with the same ennui in re firearms. I don't pick up much in the way of gen mags except the Shotgun News, because I have spent several thousand hours a year fiddling with them for a living.

And Shotgun News only to see who's cheating who on prices, something to snark and snort about over a beer when talking shop with the boys.

Still, five more for the collection, price be damned?

Spencer carbine in 56-52. The soul of frontire cool, every cavalryman's wet dream.

Remington-Lee in 45-70. Or maybe 30-40 Krag. I think they even made some in .303 Brit at the end, so maybe... Just because, and to bust the stones of an English buddy of mine (See Chris, we really invented it in Bridgeport).

A .55 Boys AT rifle, or the Mauser equivalent. Lots of noise, and a bit more funk than most modern .50 BMG rifles.

One of those wierd Danish bolt guns in 30-06 the kids were making in the early 1950's. Space-age muzzle break and a Mannlicher type handle. Funny stock for a military weapon. Had one in brand new once and sold it for cost to a Scandihoovian friend. Again, just because.

Thinking about the Boys has me remembering the 20mm Lahti on skis that sat in the local gunshop window for years. What a massive chunk of all milled forgings and total funk. I read once that they used them to pop sentries and snipers out to 1500 meters.

O.K., maybe the Lahti is a tad over the top. Perhaps an early Hatfield double barrel 20 gauge with a cherry stock. Tried one once and almost rotted with envy.

Tam: At one time I HAD a Carl Gustav BAR, but mine was the first model without the quick change barrel and while it's original caliber was 6.5 it was rebarreled with a 1918A2 barrel set and worked perfectly in 'thirty-ought-six'. Neat gun and the only MG I wish I still had.

I was going to ignore this meme, but now you've done it and I will post tomorrow at my place my 5, but they will be obscure and identifible at the same time...

Kristopher beat me to the Dardick and Gyrojet, so I'll have to go with:1. An Atchisson AA-12 with stick and drum mags.2. A late Gatling in .30-063. A 20mm Solothurn4. A Medusa Model 475. A stainless lever-action carbine in .41 magnum

sadly enough i can't think of anything...i was able to acquire everything i ever wanted, and sold or traded it all away over the years...i now have 2 guns left that meet all my needs; an H&K P2000 LEM 40 and a mossberg 590 GR... i can't improve on those 2 pieces...its sad really, my reference books took up a whole bedroom all by themselves... tam would kill to get her hands on those except that i sold them all about 7-8 years ago...it was fun while it lasted...now i can't even think of anything i would want badly enough to go through all the paperwork and hassle...

1) Maxim machine gun, German variant (Sov will do in a pinch2) DP 283) Girandoni air rifle, but only on the condition that it went back into modern production4) Alvin York's service rifle, if only to finally settle the age old question - '03 or Eddystone?5) Anything from Purdy's

Would you believe a C96 was my first "carry" sidearm? Honest - I used an Uncle Mike's vertical shoulder rig originally meant for large revolvers.

Got it back when you could get 'em for $125 from a guy in Shotgun News. Worked "okay." Need to get it rebored to 9mm. It is completely shot out - the only way you'd know the barrel was rifled was if you'd read a manual that told you they were.

1. I'd buy back the PPK/s I traded for something else because A. It wouldn't work right even after Pachmayr worked on it. B. Because it was the first not-a- revolver I bought about 1968. C. I'd have enough left over to send it to Cylinder & Slide.

Gyrojet PistolGyrojet RifleMcMillan 50BMG benchrest (Hooray! I can afford ammo now)RPG7 and a crate of shells, much fun at the junk yard.And a 6.5 swede w matching #s to replace the one I foolishly sold in my youth.

Late to the party as usual...1. M79. I'd even be willing to get a Fed DD ticket for one. My favorite individual "long gun" from the days when I actually led people in ops.2. Ma Deuce. Preferably in a ring mount on a Deuce-and-a-Half to tow the3. M1A1 105mm howitzer4. BAR - of ANY type5. 4" Python

Back when they were black with a little plug in the end, I had a 712 Mauser cap gun, but the bud I had gotten it from had lost the magazine. I retrofitted a Tic Tac box with electrical tape to stand in for it. The only reason he parted with it was because the internal mechanism had broken making it not fire caps. And, since caps were usually fired off fast as possible, "war" was usually played by screaming "BANG!" at one another.

Have wanted one since I was 10, in other words.

A Lahti 20 millimeter for varmints that happen to be driving vehicles.

An L4 Bren gun with about 50 magazines and 10 barrels.

A mountain of ammunition (literally, I want a whole mountain of ammunition)

And on to movie guns...a Plasma rifle, of course, and the Mini 14 bullpups from Total Recall (as, once picked up, they had a mysterious source for ammunition I recall).

My number 2 gun would be of my design, a light weight delayed long recoil heavy machine gun in 12.7x99

My number 3 would be a pistol of my design that accepts dual magazines, and switches to the full side when the follower reaches the top.

My number 4 would be a 120mm mortar with a feature that adjusts muzzle velocity, permitting automatic loading with fixed ammunition. Not really suitable as a BarBque gun, but perhaps useful for a mortar vehicle with an automatic loader.

On a Theme - my Finnish friend said of the Suomi, "She purred against my cheek like a cat. Then they took her away from me and gave me a frigid-pos-ak47-copy assault rifle, bastards." S-s-so yes one of those.And I lurves me some m/35 Swedish 6.5x55 BAR - and such needs a sidearm, so either a Norgy 11.25 contract 1911 or the Skandiloopian Browning patent Husqvarna m/1907.And a Ljungman,AG42B just so I can sing the YMCA song: Ljungman, A-G-42-B!, I said Ljungman, she's a 6.5 sweetie, I said, young man, 'cause you need a good gun,It's fun to shoot the A-G-42-B!Or sometjhing...

Weer'd Beard, it sounds like you have a Connecticut National Guard 1917 Moisin-Nagant! All the other stuff went to France, and they bought a bunch of Czarist '91's from Remington for, I believe, $1.35 each to use as trainers.

If it's like the only other one I have ever seen, it's about brand new and has a tan canvas sling.

I haven't purchased many new guns since I retired. I do have a firearms bucket list, though.

1. .41 Magnum conversion for my small-frame .357 Desert Eagle Mk1. 2. Standard Arms Model G in .30-30, to sit in my Remington Model 8/81 collection.3. Remington-Keene bolt rifle in .45-70.4. Colt Officer's ACP in .38 Super.5. De Lisles suppressed carbine in .45 ACP. One based on a 98 Mauser is ok by me, too.6. A MLE, and CLLE Enfield to go with my NoIMkIII SMLE and No5Mk1 JC. 7. I lust after a SMLE NoIMkV trials rifle, too.8. A Rolling Block Creedmoor in .40-65. (Which I'm actually in the process of building right now...)9. A Taurus Circuit Judge revolving carbine with a .45-70 reamer run through the cylinder chambers to sit opposite the BFR in the same chambering.10. The new/reincarnated Winchester Model 94 High-Grade half-mag, 24" octagon barrel with color case hardening as offered by Cabelas. Bummer about the tang safety, but by Gawd it's gorgeous!

1. M1941 Johnson rifle2. Ohio Ordnance M1918A1 BAR (I can do without a full auto BAR unless Uncle Sugar supplies as much ammo as I can send out).3. M1898 Krag Rifle4. M95 Steyr Mannlicher rifle5. Argentine MauserThis is turning out more modest than I thought it would.