31) Can one be a student of A Course
in Miracles and serve on a jury (be a doctor, lawyer, etc.) or remain
with a partner who is not a student of the Course? Or should one be with
a partner at all? Isn't that simply a form of specialness?

These questions reflect the level confusion
we have already considered, for they suggest that there are certain activities,
occupations, or relationships that are more or less spiritual than others.
For example, the underlying assumptions are that it is holier to become
a teacher of A Course in Miracles than it is to serve in government
or the armed forces. In other words, this assumption makes the error real,
something Jesus distinctly cautions his students against doing. Indeed,
the first law of chaos described in Chapter 23, and already referred to,
explicitly states the ego's principle that there "is a hierarchy of illusions"
(T-23.II.2:3).

As we have frequently stated in this
book, the focus of the Course student should never be on specific behavior,
but only on which voice is chosen as a guide for this behavior. Everything
else is meaningless. Very often, difficult occupations provide the best
classrooms in which to learn and practice the principle of forgiveness,
which is based on the premise that nothing outside us can affect us in
any way. It is only our minds' choices for the ego that can bring us pain.
Many years ago we were giving a workshop in Albuquerque, New Mexico. A
man stood up and spoke of his work at Los Alamos, site of some of this
country's most significant nuclear weapons research and production. Several
of the participants began to attack him for being a student of A Course
in Miracles at the same time that he was involved in what they felt
was bellicose and obviously ego-based activity. They clearly missed the
whole point. What better classroom could there be for someone than to operate
in the midst of such a blatant example of the ego thought system, and learn
how to see it differently through the eyes of forgiveness, and especially
how to see oneself differently. And is working on a nuclear bomb really
any different from participation in any institution in the world, all of
which deal with separation, specialness, and the perpetuation of the ego
thought system?

As for partners in relationships, the
same principles and cautions apply. Over the years, we have heard many
stories of couples who have broken up because one of the partners was not
a Course student, as if that external condition were a prerequisite
for a happy life together. The issue, naturally, is not that every
couple should remain together, or that they should separate. However, using
A
Course in Miracles as an excuse for breaking up, or a reason for remaining
together misses the whole point again. Very often, in fact, remaining with
someone who is not a student of the Course may be the perfect classroom
in which to learn that the heart of A Course in Miracles is its
content of forgiveness, not the form in which that teaching comes. We shall
return to this issue in the final chapter.

The same mistakes occur on the "other
side" of relationships; i.e., the belief that students of the Course should
not be involved in any romantic or sexual relationships at all, not to
mention getting married and having children, since that would clearly reflect
special relationships. However, it has been forgotten that specialness
exists not in a relationship between two people, but in the thoughts
of a person who has preferred the ego's individuality or specialness to
the Holy Spirit's Love. The lack that inevitably follows such a decision
must lead to seeking outside oneself for help in filling that lack, what
the Course would describe as the scarcity principle. That filling
up the perceived inner lack is what A Course in Miracles means by
special relationships.

It is impossible to be born into this
world without specialness, and it is simply denial that would lead students
to believe that they are without this belief system. One of the core definitions
the Course uses for specialness is substitution, and simply leaving Heaven
-- as all people in the world believe they have done -- expresses the belief
that the ego's specialness is a worthy and worthwhile substitute for the
Love of God. Therefore, the special relationship is the rule of the separated
world, and rather than deny it, students of A Course in Miracles should
accept this perceptual fact, and turn to Jesus or the Holy Spirit for help
in learning the lessons of forgiveness that this valuable classroom offers
under Their guidance.

In other words, as we frequently remind
students during our workshops and classes, when studying A Course in
Miracles, students should above all not forget to be normal.
And normal people serve on juries, become involved in litigation, carry
insurance, get sick, become angry, laugh, cry, mourn the deaths of loved
ones, have relationships, families, circles of friends, etc., etc., etc.
The challenge is to be involved in all these normal human activities, but
to do so differently -- with Jesus instead of without him. Thus Jesus encourages
his students to be like everyone else, but to be happy and peaceful:

There is a way of living in
the world that is not here, although it seems to be. You do not change
appearance, though you smile more frequently. Your forehead is serene;
your eyes are quiet (W-pI.155.1:1-3; italics ours).

Therefore, as we cautioned in our discussion
of the previous question, students of A Course in Miracles should
watch for their ego's vigilance in judging other people's responses or
behaviors, or their own for that matter. Jesus' loving judgment is always
and only in terms of content -- i.e., the inner teacher that is
chosen -- and never the form. And unless one has the egoless wisdom
of the Holy Spirit, how can an observer possibly know which teacher has
been chosen?

Reproduced with the kind permission of Gloria and
Kenneth
Wapnick and the Foundation for A Course in Miracles