5. Well, the players' union must have put the leftover steroids to good use -- they injected them into salaries of pitchers who will be more remembered for their academics than their records.

6. Wow, this makes Andy Reid's hiring of his offensive line coach as his defensive coordinator sound rational.

7. If it were the Philadelphia Daily News, they'd repeat the headline they used for #6 and say, "WTF?"

8. No wonder why the Pirates are doomed.

9. The baseball stat people might figure out a way to contend that this is a bargain because, well, had you put this guy on the Phillies, he might be the righthanded version of Cole Hamels. (Somehow, I think that's a reach, but perhaps that's what his agent tried to argue).

10. Civilization as we know it is doomed.

11. That's why parents will do almost anything to have their kids go to a place like Princeton -- "it's all about the bucks, kid."

12. He probably has some Princeton classmates who make more money at Google or on Wall Street than he does.