Spanish Bullfighting Festival Canceled; Matadors All Gored By Bulls

For the first time in 35 years, the San Isidro Bullfighting Festival in Madrid had to be canceled after all three matadors were gored and trampled by bulls.

Bullfighting has strong cultural roots in Spain, even though many people think the practice is barbaric. It’s always tragic (and sometimes funny) when humans get injured. Thankfully, none of the injuries were fatal.

In all fairness, these dudes chose a ridiculous profession with a high level of risk. They kill bulls with swords for a living. From a human point of view, this was “horrific, shocking, chilling, impossible for the human eye to witness yet evident to the mind,” but from the bulls’ point of view, this was fucking hilarious.

Bullfighting is as old as the Romans, and it is the last living vestige of the Coliseum (other than the Octagon) that lives on to this day. If you want to slaughter bulls, you have to make it a fair fight. It wouldn’t be fair if man always won. Sometimes, a few guys need to get tossed around like meat puppets and gored through and through to make the whole thing seem a little more legitimate.

People like balance and symmetry. They don’t like unfair fights. Who wants to see a professional mixed martial artist beat the shit out of a bunch of crack babies? There’s no skill required, no finesse. That’s what makes for a good sport. People like an element of uncertainty and danger, after all. How else can you explain NASCAR? Nobody watches a bunch of rednecks make left turns all day without subconsciously hoping one of them fucks up.

You can’t feel bad about a few guys getting gored because they willingly chose to compete in the cattle coliseum for the amusement of the masses. At least they understood the risks and rewards beforehand, unlike the bulls, which always get killed in the end. There is no glory for the bulls, only death. At least for this single fleeting moment, true connoisseurs of the sport can respectfully chalk up a win for the bulls.