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Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Happy Fourth of Louise

I want to wish a very happy fourth birthday to our sweet Louise! You are a wonderfully sweet and cheerful girl, and I'm hoping you've outgrown the temper tantrums (for a little while at least).

Today brings many thoughts of Tony too, of course. It's hard to observe these milestones without him, plus there are few other connections with this date...

It was two days before Louise was born that Tony first went to see a doctor about the persistent muscle twitches he had in his arms. Everyone gets twitches, but these never went away. Plus, his arm muscles had been getting smaller... but that's a difficult subject to raise with your husband. Since I waited outside the room, I don't know exactly what the doctor told him, but I know it weighed on Tony. I also remember telling him I was sure it wasn't anything serious (ugh).

And last year, Tony told me he thought he would live to celebrate this day with us. I thought to myself that there was no way... but again, that's not something I shared.

Louise has Tony's eyes, his complexion, and his indomitable spirit. She doesn't remember him before the affects of ALS, and might not have any real memories of him as she grows up. I'm going to do my damnedest to fill her head with stories of him... and I'll need help from all of you.

Happy birthday, Louise... and know that your daddy loves you very much and is always proud of you. Ditto for me!