Since I am

actually a girl… I get to be romantic/lovedovey/mushy occaisionally. It’s in the small print of being female.

I heard a story recently about two people in the Navy, and how they were docked in the same place for about a week. They met, fell in love and got married before their individual ships left. They are still married, thirty-something years later.

To me, that is so beautiful. I was telling someone lately it is such a pity that humanity has become so cynical. I have never been alive in a time where a story like that would actually occur… and I totally wish it did.

I wish I could admit to loving someone, days after I met them. I meet nice people every now and then but instead of allowing the possibility of a good thing, I insist on picking it apart. I wish I could take a crazy chance like that, and not call it crazy. I wish I was brave enough to be willing. I wish I was stubborn enough to make it work. I wish I had enough trust to not worry about drowning. I just plain freaking wish I wasn’t bitter at life already. I wish I could love: utterly, completely, and with trust.

It’s just that it’s not very often in life you meet someone who seems to have all the things you have been wanting or needing for yourself. Fuck at least I don’t… and it’s getting to the point in my life that I’m almost too scared to dream of a ‘happily-ever-after’ which upsets me.

Hey ermmmm if you read this and you know who I’m referring to, cheers 🙂 Be complimented at least that I’m in turmoil. I am in a serious state of like here. 🙂

on another note.. I got a 3G iPhone yesterday, tried to jailbreak it last night to a miserable state of failure. Hopefully I will figure it out soon..