Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Yesterday A woman who came into my Salon stated emphatically that she detested her husband. I could tell that she meant it.

She said she had no idea what to do about it. She was 75 years old and had no place to go if she left him.

Her husband had been retired for 10 years and she knew that she would never be able to retire from her job.

Over the years she had formed the habit, as had he, that she was the one responsible for everything domestic.

Now he was retired, and she, not only wasn't retired but she had more work to do now than ever before because he was home all day.

I tried to tell her a few little tricks she could use to get him to do his part. It didn't work. The hate and resentment she had built up for so many years was too strong. She was not able to soften her stance long enough to even think about negotiating.

It sounded like the only communication they had all day was confrontation.

If they weren't arguing they were ignoring each other.

When I asked her about her love for him she said, "There hasn't been any love in our house for years."

A Little About Me....

My name is Sherri Mills, and I have enjoyed a forty-year career as a hairdresser, but I consider myself what Dr. Lewis E. Losoncy calls a "Psy-cosmetologist." He teaches people in my line of work that we don't just change peoples hair, but by listening to their problems and responidng intelligently, we change their lives.

After reading Dr. Losoncy's book, I downsized my busy four operator salon to a one operator where clients could have their privacy. I discovered right away that people tell their hairdressers evreything.

As my clients began to ask me for advice on their marriages and divorces, I felt obligated to really help, so I started reading on the subjects of relationships, personal growth, and communication. More often than not, my clients, after paying for their hair, have asked me, "Now, what do I owe you for my counseling session?"

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Our Story...

(I Almost Divorced my Husband, but I Went on Strike Instead) tells the true story of the ten years I suffered the doing-it-all syndrome as a full time wife, mother and breadwinner. I tried so many schemes, but none of them made an impression on this relaxed, carefree male chauvinist who – without being aware of it – I had inadvertently helped to create. To avoid divorce, I went on a domestic strike against my husband and children. The two week strike was the hardest thing I have ever done but it changed my life ‘to this day’. The Salt Lake Tribune featured us on the front page of their ‘family’ section and local women told me their husband’s were helping just because my strike was in the public eye. This is a 45,000 word self-help book with an attitude and very friendly to the men in our lives.

It teaches specific strategies and techniques for changing the situation from that of ‘help’ to ‘shared responsibility’.

The Contract

The excruciating pain I witnessed from divorces that didn’t have to happen is ultimately what compelled me to write this book. I spent an enormous amount of time researching in other areas, what I found to be true in this small area and I couldn’t let it go.

Books on the disparity between husbands and wives fill the book shelves. Most of them suggest ways to get husbands to help. While others come with a little information and chore lists, several focus on how men just don’t know what to do to help. However there is no other resource besides my book that covers all of the above and specifically pulls together information that answers the questions; How did we get to this place, Why is it so difficult to get husbands to pull their weight, and is it possible we have been doing it all wrong by blaming our men? Answers to these and more questions are detailed in the body of the book as are countless tips on keeping ones marriage together for the sake of the children.

Self-help books usually have good information but at times are boring to read. The reader is in for a treat because ‘I Almost Divorced My Husband,’ contains countless, funny, interesting true stories to press a point, (I have gone to great strides to make certain everyone’s identities are completely hidden.)

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Taken July 14, 2002 This photo shows all 8 of our very own Grandchildren. There is no arguing over whose grandkids are more important or whose house we should spend the holidays at or who loves who more. This is our family. "OUR" Family!