Dominant Women and Submissive Men: The Unfortunate Imbalance

There are Many More Submissive Men than Dominant Women....

If you browse through the "alternative" adult personals, you will find far more male submissive personals than Female Dominant ones. As a matter of fact, it has been said that for every dominant woman, there are four submissive men.

For the submissive man in search of a Dominant woman or Domina, this is an unfortunate imbalance, indeed, although, from a societal perspective, it is hardly surprising.

Why Aren't There More Dominant Women?

Is the Lack of Dominant Women A Case of Nurture?

First, let's examine the "nurture" side of the coin. Little girls are taught from a very early age that in order to be attractive to the opposite sex, they must be demure, adoring, unassuming, nurturing, and giving, to name a few.. These are all typically submissive traits. Our culture is riddled with examples of pretty, submissive women being rescued (or ravaged) by strong, dominant men. It is such a clich矴hat it has even become accepted as the norm and is rarely questioned.

Female role models and archetypes play right into this belief. Heroines, protagonists, cartoon characters, even religious and historical figures, echo this notion. Women are taught that in order to have value, they must be desirable and attractive to men, and in order to attract men, they must be submissive. Many women, who may well be naturally dominant, stifle this desire in order to conform. Our society is so fearful and disdainful of dominant females that we have a litany of pejorative names and phrases assigned to them such as "bitch," "ball-buster," or "the one who wears the pants," to name but a few. The contrasting list for submissive men is even longer: spineless, henpecked, milk toast, pussy whipped, mealy mouthed, etc. Is it any wonder, if language is the mirror of a culture, that not only are women encouraged to be submissive, men are resolutely discouraged from it.

Or Is the Lack of Dominant Women a Case of Nature?

On the flip side of this coin, there is the "nature" argument. Women may also be hard-wired to be submissive in addition to being socialized as such. Primarily, there is the undeniable physicality of women. Not all women are physically weaker than all men, but enough are that we can claim this as a biological truth. Since women are, physically speaking, the weaker sex, they have, since the dawn of time, relied on men for protection and sustenance. If a woman is pregnant, she needs protection and sustenance not only for herself, but for her unborn child, as well. Theoretically, the survival of the species depends on that balance.

However, it is interesting to note there are more unattached women in society now than there ever have been.. This simple fact alone proves that men (or moreover, the strength of men) are no longer an integral part of survival. Not to mention, that the kinds of prehistoric potential dangers that women faced in the centuries BC, rarely occur in modern times. Finally, the act of procreation is itself an act of domination on the part of the man. In a missionary sense, the man enters the woman. Typically, she lies on her back and spreads her legs, just like a frightened, beta-dog will do. Even for the most submissive men, this act is very empowering and dominant. Which is precisely why non-consentual sexual violation is considered a crime of power, not passion.

Why Are There So Many Submissive Men?

Is it that submissive men are so plentiful? Or that the imbalanced ratio creates the illusion that it is so? Even though men are no longer required to hunt big game and wield a club to sustain and protect their families, there is still the ever-present pressure to be manly. Submissive men are seen as so vile, that outwardly, the majority of men whole-heartedly rebuke any hint of submissiveness or femininity. However, when there exists a constant and unreasonable pressure to perform, there will always be the desire to rebel against those irrational demands. This is even truer when one's survival does not depend on the defiant behavior. As a matter of fact, women are so capable that many men, if asked, would say that their female counterparts run circles around them in the accomplishment department. Most women work outside of the home, and, care for the home and family. Why not give over your power to the person who is the most proficient? It makes complete sense when examined as a means of survival. In addition, when one is constantly called upon to be the "alpha and omega," it can often be a huge relief to just sit back and be the "beta." Is it any wonder that giving up control, particularly to an attractive, capable and dominant woman, is among the most popular fantasies of men? Perhaps it is the pressure to perform, or simple supply and demand. Whatever the case, there are far more men who crave being submissive, than there are dominant women to fulfill those desires.

Interestingly enough, one the most common fantasies among women is being "taken". It is the act of ultimate submission. If this is the case, can such a woman ever flip a switch in her psyche and become dominant? Fortunately, yes she can! With the advent of the Internet, BDSM has become more and more prevalent and acceptable. Of course, there is an art to introducing your seemingly submissive wife or girlfriend into domination. The introduction should be slow and gradual, in order to have the best response. The initial dialogue should not include anything extreme, as this may turn off a submissive woman from ever deciding to try her hand at domination. Start slowly and toll the benefits of having a willing, submissive male partner! Paint a picture of what life would be like during your play sessions. You prepare an elegant meal and do all of the dishes. You give her a massage. You provide oral sex to her, asking nothing in return. Subtlety is the key. If you take the notion to an extreme right away, you may kill any vestiges of domination in your woman. Let her know that it is all about pleasing and serving her. Once you have had a few of these tamer sessions, then you can begin introducing, in a light and playful way, more intense forms of play. It may even behoove the wannabe submissive male, to not even reference the terms "dominant woman" and "submissive man." Once the groundwork is laid, then you can incorporate increasingly more extreme forms of BDSM play. In the end, she will no doubt appreciate her submissive husband and all he does for her, and you will have the dominant wife you have always longed for.