Oh, and yeah, it was a total douchebag thing to do for that cuttlefish to come up on that octopus and eat him. I want to love both cuttlefish and octopi, and I resent having my loyalties divided this way.

They so are, and it makes me a Very Sad Panda. Can’t they all just get along? Can they not simply entwine their eight suckered limbs in mutual respect. Can’t they just sing “Kumbaya?” It’s a one-octave melody, for Christ’s sake. Anyone can sing it. Even sea creatures.

Josh, that’s your answer to everything: “Let’s just go and live under the sea.”

Well, wouldn’t it be nice? Imagine it. . . all that salty water just rushing over you peacefully, no wretched offspring of middle class parents throwing fits in the food court at the mall. Everyone having eight. .count them, eight limbs. .

I say the octopus was no fool. He was just minding his own business, tending his garden.

He saw the Cuttlefish of Terror? hovering there. He was holding the wrench because he knew that the COT? would have a horrible time taking him and the wrench off to CuttleCom? to devour him as a tasty snack.