St. Ungo the Well-Endowed is possibly unique in the history of hagiography, in that he was beatified based on the testimony of eighty-six different women,* who all claimed that yes, definitely, miraculous, hoo boy, you have NO idea, seriously, without ever saying exactly what the miracle in question had been.

This has baffled researchers for centuries.

Today St. Ungo is the patron of single women and, apparently demonstrating the cryptic and arbitrary nature of sainthood, bratwurst.

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*Ranging in age from eighteen to sixty-three, and including two nuns and a duchess. St. Ungo apparently believed in a wide-ranging ministry.

*cough* Could NOT resist. (Hey, just ‘cos they’re saints doesn’t mean I can’t have a little fun with 'em…) St. Ungo here is based on the Cape Ground Squirrel, a species with…um…endowments that can reach up to 42% of their total body length. (Say it with me, people! “Daaaaamn….”) - Ursula Vernon

you know what would be amazing? you recommending some nice kidlaw fics <3

yooooooo you made me wanna read some fics so i dug some of my ao3 favorites up and reread them like fuck also, shout out to the authors!!!! you’re all wonderful and i hope ur here on tumblr so i can message u personally XD