Thoughts from the interface of science, religion, law and culture

After spending several years touring the country as a stand up comedian, Ed Brayton tired of explaining his jokes to small groups of dazed illiterates and turned to writing as the most common outlet for the voices in his head. He has appeared on the Rachel Maddow Show and the Thom Hartmann Show, and is almost certain that he is the only person ever to make fun of Chuck Norris on C-SPAN.

EVENTS

Burnett: God was on Set of ‘The Bible’

I haven’t watched a second of The Bible on the History Channel because, frankly, it can’t be anything but terrible. Silly me, but I don’t think the guy who brought us Survivor and Celebrity Apprentice is going to produce a scholarly and interesting show about the Bible. But that’s okay, because God helped him produce the show.

TV mogul Mark Burnett is convinced he felt the presence of God while filming new religious epic The Bible in the Moroccan desert after a timely gust of wind swept through the set after a speech by Jesus Christ…

He says, “The hand of god was on this. We were there for five months in the Moroccan desert. One night there’s a scene where Nicodemus steals away at night to talk to Jesus… and he asks and he says, ‘They say you can see the kingdom of heaven’. And Jesus says, ‘You too can see the kingdom of heaven. You’ve got to be born again.’ He says, ‘What do you mean, how can I be born again?’ He said of the Holy Spirit, ‘Spirit is like the wind’–and at that moment the wind came out of nowhere. A sustained wind for 30 seconds…”

Downey adds, “As if we turned on wind machines, it just blew through the village, it was extraordinary.”

Wind in the desert. How…”extraordinary.” The bar for what these people consider miraculous events is low.

I don’t believe that Burnett is being honest here for a second. Let’s face it, he is trying to maximize profit so throwing in something that will appeal to the religious morons can only be good for business. Shit look at how much money Mel Gibson made from Passion, if there is one given about the religious it is that they can be easily fleeced of their cash.

Was just listening to Cognitive Dissonance podcast this morning, apparently there are more ‘miracles':

-They lost an article of clothing, but some kid brought it back to them
-A camera man swears he didn’t put his phone on vibrate, but it was on vibrate so the ringtone didn’t interrupt the shoot.
-Some snake handler they hired found more snakes than usual.

Yet again, they proclaim miracles as divine, but then have miracles indistinguishable from everyday occurances.

So, they spent 5 months in the desert talking about God. And only one single time did a natural event coincide with a line of dialog? That seems like it is rarer than expected.

(I’ve seen analysis of miracles at Lourdes, making the argument that spontaneous remission rates are higher than the miraculous curing rates…lots of people go to Lourdes and there aren’t *that* many miracles reported…)

The bar for what god considers miraculous is pretty low, too. He could show us all kinds of stuff, open our eyes about so many important truths unknowable save through him, and he… makes some wind in the desert? appears on a piece of toast? It’s almost like he’s fucking with us. It’s even more almost like he’s not there.

I haven’t been willing to watch this to find out if they included the bits I’m most curious about–like the ‘bash the infants on the rocks’ scene, or the one where God’s Own Hitman comes down and kills some peasant’s only son because the Pharaoh was being a d-bag about letting some group of slaves go. Ie, do they actually show the unmitigated evil the book ascribes to the entity the devout say they worship?

I have been watching this, I’m somewhat ashamed to say, and there’s this weird disconnect between the producers’ stated intent and some of what actually comes through on screen. It’s sanitized (no Lot and his daughters invest, for example), but not so much so that God doesn’t come off as a huge jerk to everyone. I have a lengthier breakdown here .

I have been watching this, I’m somewhat ashamed to say, and there’s this weird disconnect between the producers’ stated intent and some of what actually comes through on screen. It’s sanitized (no Lot and his daughters invest, for example), but not so much so that God doesn’t come off as a huge jerk to everyone. I have a lengthier breakdown here .

I watched it because it was on before “Vikings” which I wanted to watch.

I didn’t get “god is a dick” so much as I got “the biblical prophets were batshit crazy.” I halfway considered it might be a poe, when, well, any of the main characters got this crazy eyed look and says “GOD SAYS WE HAVE TO GO INTO THE DESERT!”

I haven’t been willing to watch this to find out if they included the bits I’m most curious about–like the ‘bash the infants on the rocks’ scene, or the one where God’s Own Hitman comes down and kills some peasant’s only son because the Pharaoh was being a d-bag about letting some group of slaves go. Ie, do they actually show the unmitigated evil the book ascribes to the entity the devout say they worship?

The series is very sanitized.

Short version:

Episode 1 – The genesis story is told in the voice of Noah, you see Noah on a boat with farm animals. Awkward jump cut to the time of Abraham. Abraham gets crazy eyes and says “we have to go into the desert,” and his family follows him. Lot whines about not enough land and tells Abraham he’s leaving. Abraham is sad he doesn’t have children so he has sex with a slave, his wife tells him passively aggressively it’s ok, but is then angry. Later angels (a black angel and an asian angel) come and tell Abraham to sleep with his wife and she gets pregnant. The angels go to see lot and are attacked by a mob, Lot helps them. Then the angels bust out ninja skills and fight their way out of the city with Lot&family and then meteors destroy the city. We get CGI of lots wife turning into salt.

Jump cut 10 years, Abraham gets crazy eyed and tells his son that they have to go up on the mountain to give a sacrifice to god, the son asks “but where’s the lamb?” Abraham’s wife has a fit, and Abraham is about to stab his son when god shouts at him and he sees a lamb caught in a tree. Jump cut to egypt

Episode 2 – opens with moses being raised by the Pharoh mummy style, passing reference to how moses isn’t actually an Egyptian. Passe scene of israelites as slaves. Moses kills an overseer and flees into the wilderness where he gets crazy eyed in a storm and sees a burning bush. Jump cut 10 years. Moses comes into the Iraelite city crazy eyed and says GOD HAS TOLD HIM HE WILL SAVE HIS PEOPLE! The elders call him crazy but his brother shows up to vouch for him. Moses then goes to see the pharoh, where the pharoh is a douchebag and won’t let the iraelites go. Montage of the first however many plagues with pharoh shouting “NO!” Then the Isralites are disheartened and moses gets crazy eyed again, he said god will come to kill everyone’s children, and the Israelites say “not everyone!” and moses says “yes everyone, but there is a way he will pass over you.” Jump to montage of people painting blood on their door sills and hiding in their houses with windows shut while green mist comes and kills all the first borns. Pharoh tells them to go, then there’s an extended scene of CGI where moses parts the red sea. Short scene about 10 commandments, then jump cut 40 years and Joshua is planning to attack a city in Canaan.

Of course we all remember Roma Downey, the angel from ‘Touched by an Angel’,
which 59% of Americans thought was a documentary, until there was a salary
dispute of some sort which caused the Chef to quit the cast. Something to do
with Scientology, can’t recall the details.

On a related note, recently I read somewhere that since camcorders/smartphones have become ubiquitous, the number of UFO sightings have gone down. I think the rate will eventually soar once CGI effects are free features on our smartphones and intuitive enough for believers to use.