Intelligent Design

Product Description

Thousands of years ago, God created humanoids for the purpose of populating the Earth. They enjoyed long lives, and still bore children when they were hundreds of years old. Adam, for example, lived for 930 years. Methuselah lived 969 years. Satisfied with his creation, the big G created a Homosapien sustaining engineering department so He could go create intelligent life in other galaxies. Several centuries later, this engineering department, after sniffing sharpies at a board meeting, made several design decisions in an effort to make mankind more attractive. First they removed the protective body hair and the thick padding on the feet. Then they made the legs longer and leaner so the humanoids could walk upright. They also enlarged the brain. The spine was not meant to carry so much brain weight in an upright position, thus many people have back trouble today. The leaner legs caused inactivity, especially since the bare feet were frequently injured. The unprotected bodies became susceptible to exposure and disease, and the brain became vulnerable to unsavory thoughts. Problems escalated as the enlarged brain discovered jealousy, fighting, fashion design, and perverse desires to understand the universe. Today the design engineers realize that humanoids were far better off when their lifespan was longer, the brain was the size of a walnut, shoes and clothes were unnecessary, and the legs allowed for faster transportation and the toting of heavier baggage. Frantically they have been making corrections to their designs, but wars, diseases, environmental disasters, and other assorted consequences of their design decisions have thus far proven uncorrectable. The Homosapien engineering department is going to have a lot of explaining to do when God comes back! This is our 3rd album in a collectable series. Please listen to it repeatedly, rip the songs, and email them to your friends all over the globe and send us money (by virtue of your allegiance to the honor system) every time you do it.

Thousands of years ago, God created humanoids for the purpose of populating the Earth. They enjoyed long lives, and still bore children when they were hundreds of years old. Adam, for example, lived for 930 years. Methuselah lived 969 years. Satisfied with his creation, the big G created a Homosapien sustaining engineering department so He could go create intelligent life in other galaxies. Several centuries later, this engineering department, after sniffing sharpies at a board meeting, made several design decisions in an effort to make mankind more attractive. First they removed the protective body hair and the thick padding on the feet. Then they made the legs longer and leaner so the humanoids could walk upright. They also enlarged the brain. The spine was not meant to carry so much brain weight in an upright position, thus many people have back trouble today. The leaner legs caused inactivity, especially since the bare feet were frequently injured. The unprotected bodies became susceptible to exposure and disease, and the brain became vulnerable to unsavory thoughts. Problems escalated as the enlarged brain discovered jealousy, fighting, fashion design, and perverse desires to understand the universe. Today the design engineers realize that humanoids were far better off when their lifespan was longer, the brain was the size of a walnut, shoes and clothes were unnecessary, and the legs allowed for faster transportation and the toting of heavier baggage. Frantically they have been making corrections to their designs, but wars, diseases, environmental disasters, and other assorted consequences of their design decisions have thus far proven uncorrectable. The Homosapien engineering department is going to have a lot of explaining to do when God comes back! This is our 3rd album in a collectable series. Please listen to it repeatedly, rip the songs, and email them to your friends all over the globe and send us money (by virtue of your allegiance to the honor system) every time you do it.