~ Love, dating, and relationships

Letting Go

They say it’s best not to burn bridges, and maybe that’s the preferred excuse for hanging on to someone from a past relationship that we should have let go of.

I have lots of friends who get into a relationship and, as soon as it ends, they return to a previous relationship that they know isn’t the right fit for them. A benefit to that is you are returning to a relationship that is comfortable because you know what to expect. Maybe we do it because we just can’t be alone, and so we step back to someone that we know will always be there until someone better comes along. It doesn’t seem very fair to that person who will always be there, and it doesn’t seem very fair to the future of either person.

There are other reasons to fall back into a dysfunctional relationship. There are financial reasons – maybe one of you can’t make it on your own. Maybe the relationship ended prematurely, and they hadn’t sufficiently hurt each other yet. It might be “the one that got away” and you’re still hoping they will leave their husband or wife for you or you want to be the first one in line when the marriage fails. Lastly, my personal favorite: Amazing chemistry. You can never underestimate the power of chemistry.

Whatever the reason, it seems that we have a hard time moving forward in our life and into uncharted territory that may lead to the discovery of a new world. Who knows, it might be a world that we like better. The Pilgrims took a leap of faith by jumping on a boat some thought may fall off the edge of the world. Not all survived it, but a lot of them did and were able to start a new life.

Steve Harvey says that you can never get to the next chapter in a book if you keep reading the same page over and over again. How awful for a person’s life to be stuck on one page and to never reach the happy ending. There is nothing wrong with being cordial if you run into an ex in public, but sometimes staying in touch can only hurt you more as you learn of new relationships that show someone is moving on without you.

If burning the bridge is the best way to move forward, then why are so many of us still holding the match? The excuses can pile up, but maybe it’s time we all found our inner kerosene.

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