AtheneViewbie

Well I was glad to see the reviews on my story. And now revealing the suspense. Here are my reviews with my stories already separated. Surprise surprise: the disclaimer stories are mine.

Story 1 - The description was very good. I could almost see everything happening in front of my eyes. I loved the way you described how CID was trying to save Abhijeet as well. When you described how the Father died, I felt the chills creep up my spine. I wonder if you've ever watched Khotey Sikkey though because the point from where Abhijeet comes onto the scene to when he leads them to the end of the non-functional sewage system was part of a terrorist episode in KS as well. In fact, it was a lot like the episode in KS, with Abhijeet as Mohit and the commandoes as commandoes and the DCP as DD. Of course, the part after Abhijeet transferred into a Widowmaker is completely original and I loved it as much as I loved the rest. The way the operation was carried out to save the hostages was amazing. You're a natural. The ending between Cain and our beloved duo was just too good. I would say that FW should consider hiring you as a full-time writer for CID.

Story 2 - The dialogues and the behaviour were exactly like we see and I really liked that. Aatmas always make a case interesting and it was the same with yours. Hmm, Sachin lost his badge while running after the aatma. The way the aatma was created was quite unique. I liked the way you explained it with pictures. The way the bhoot was tied to exam paper leaking was also very unique. Usually it's to get the property or to kill someone with a weak heart, but to leak the exam paper…very good. You would be another great writer for CID. The best part was the gyaan at the end. It shows how much truth there is in everything you said.

Story 3 - The beginning was hilarious. Abhijeet called ACP sir Raavan. The problem was the short form you used. It was hard to understand at times because of the text, bold, and spaces used. A little while before I started your story I was missing Khotey Sikkey a lot and reading Inspector Deshmukh made me remember KS even more because of DD in it. The story was quite interesting. I liked the way you tried to keep everything in reality like the hospital and the family's house. It was nice for you to keep the fact that Rahul was Kajal's sister in the story. Keeps Kajal out of the story for a bit. Loved seeing Tasha after so long. The way Dr. Salunkhe took Kajal's side was also very refreshing. You kept pretty much to the original story with the way Ashish and Rumi were killed. Also the killer was the same in the end. Overall a good story.

Story 4 - The way you capitalized the names was very distracting. Next time please don't capitalize the names like that. The beginning was good with a quick description of the plot. The concern that Daya showed for Abhijeet was just too good. The investigation was good. The dialogues and behaviours were also quite close to what we normally see. I liked the teasing scenes between Dr. Salunkhe and CID. The ending just surprised me. Overall a very good story.

STORY 5 - WHO REVIEWS THEIR OWN STORY?????

Story 6 - I loved the teasing scenes between the trio, but my favourite was the beginning between the duo. So sweet. The investigation was also very good. The first scene with Ansha was quite interesting, especially the way Abhijeet made a swift departure. The way Daya trusts Abhijeet more was a good change to the original story. The way Ansha's truth came to light was quite interesting as well. A very interesting story altogether.

Story 7 - Your story was one roller coaster. The way you started the story was heart wrenching. Kudos to you for trying such a story. The concern that the team show for Daya is amazing. It was well written. The investigation was also very strong. The way Abhijeet is so furiously trying to prove that Daya was set up was heart piercing for me. Even while solving another case, Abhijeet is working so hard to prove that Daya is innocent and ACP supports him in his own way. Just too good.

Story 8 - You tried to give all the officers about the same amount of spacing as they get on TV, which was quite good. You also had Dr. Sonali. (Not a comment, just an observation.) There were many spelling mistakes in your story though and some of the words were completely different. For example, you used "miya" instead of "kiya" in the beginning. Reading the nok-jhok between ACP and Dr. Salunkhe was interesting. Sachin using the word "prabesh" (haha). The way CID was looking for Dr. Salunkhe was very applaudable. You really kept the concern in the story as it should be. Using Dr. Salunkhe as a manav bomb to kill CID, and then him telling CID that was quite good. Even though you tried to show that CID had been killed, it was somewhat obvious that nothing had happened to CID. The ending was quite rushed in my opinion.

Story 9 - The beginning is similar to what was in the original story. The little bit of masti you added in was quite nice. The investigation was good. The difference appeared right after that when you showed that the bus had 10 students and the hijacker was evident from the beginning. The action and stunts were very descriptive. I loved how you kept ACP, Daya, and Abhijeet after the bus, while everyone else was doing the investigation. There were a few spelling mistakes, but overall a very good story.

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