Question

What are Physical Signs of Sexual Abuse in Toddler Girls??

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I watch my two neices all of the time, they are 2 and 3 years old. Their mother leaves them at my house for about a week out of the month. Every time they come stay with me I notice extreme irritation on and around their vagina. I use diaper rash creams and mild soaps when they visit and the irritation dissapears, but after they go home for several weeks when they come stay at my house again the irritation is there again!. At first i thought that their mother wasn't changing them or bathing them as often as she should have. But now that I have a daughter that has just turned 1 year and I notice a difference, it seems like my daughters vagina is not as open as my neices. I am worried that whenever they go home someone is touching them inapropriately. What are physical signs that i should look for sexual abuse and how do I go about doing something to prevent this irritation if it is not sexual abuse?

Mom Answers

It bothers me that both of the girls' vaginal areas are irritated. Why would they both be irritated down there simultaneously unless they are both receiving inadequate diaper area care and changes, or else something much worse is going on?
How much do you know about your sister's home life? Is she working a lot? Stressed about finances, work, health, or other matters? Who else is at home with the girls, or frequently visiting, that could possibly be abusing them? You have indicated that this has been going on for some time.
Does the mother taken them for regular checkups with a pediatrician? If it is a sensitive skin issue, then a doctor likely would have noted this by now and recommended a switch to new diapers or other products which could be irritating their skin.
Is it possible to have them evaluated by a pediatrician yourself while they are staying with you? If your gut tells you something is off, it would be wise to get a professional opinion.

Im not exactly sure but that causes a red flag to pop up in my head. has their mother had a history of having that type of abuse or the man in her life? i hope you find an answer soon and it wont have to go on much longer

I don't know anything about this, but it's always better to be safe than sorry in such a situation! Maybe you should consult a social worker. Irritation could easily just be due to hygiene issues, and I can imagine there's a lot of variation in vagina size. But you described it as "extreme" irritation and that sounds alarming! I think you need to go with your gut. I *think* a call to social services is anonymous (maybe it depends on the state).

sounds to me, like most likely a swollen penis is playing inside their vaginas. Not prodding so far in, to break their hymens though. I'd get pronto to Dr, and get the facts, and hopefully peace of mind. Please do not dilly dally with this.

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