The Happiest, Sappiest, Crappiest Place on Earth

Having kids is a bit like living in Disneyland. Disney lovers everywhere who don’t have kids yet are screaming, “sign me up!” and parents everywhere are saying “WTF Kira?!”, but hear me out.

Disneyland. It’s a magical place right? The commercials tell us so. It’s where football players want to go after they win the Super Bowl. Where children delight in fireworks, larger than life characters, fun rides and way too much sugar. Where parents are all aglow having given their young people a fantastic few days of true pleasure.

But living there? I mean, let’s take a moment and really look at Disneyland. The lines are long….you have to wait forever to get that two minutes of utter ecstasy from Space Mountain or, if you are three years old, Flying Dumbo. Everywhere you look children are crying. Too much sugar, not enough napping, and the endless lines mean tears and tantrums galore. And let’s not forget the music. Now I love me some Disney music, but listening to it all day long for days on end….well, it can make even the biggest fan want to jump off a cliff. Or punch Mickey in the face. And don’t forget that after just one day of walking around that giant theme park your feet hurt, you’re exhausted and you can’t believe that you actually have to get up and do that all over again tomorrow.

Welcome to parenthood. It’s just like Disneyland. The ads sell it as the most magical place on earth (as do the people around you), and you know, that’s actually true. It is. But boy oh boy what you have to endure to get just a taste of that magic.

When I talk with friends who are on the fence about having children I always say that being a parent has a magic associated with it that you just can’t get anywhere else in your life. It doesn’t come from your cat (sorry cat lovers, but having to put down your cat is NOT like my having to put down one of my children. I don’t have a cat, but I have researched this by talking with cat owners who have children, and they concur). It is not, as my dear friend who shall remain nameless claims, like writing software code. (Again, I don’t write code, but I would imagine that it would never cross my mind to sacrifice my own life for some code). It is something so special, so incredible and so unique that there is simply no other way to experience it than by just doing it.

But here’s the thing – much like with Disneyland, you have to EARN that magic. And, more importantly, if you’ve never been to Disneyland, you don’t really know what you’re missing. And maybe that’s ok.

But whichever way you choose to go, know this: Disneyland IS the happiest place on earth in small doses. But if you choose to live there every day, it will be hard work. It will test your sanity, your strength, your energy levels. Your feet will hurt, your ears will burn with the tune of that same damn song being played over and over and over again. And there will be A LOT of waiting around. But then…..for just a few minutes here and there, your turn will come. You will step on to that long-awaited ride and take off into the magic. And that magic will be so big, and so amazing and so beautiful, that you’ll forget all about what you had to endure to get there. And so you’ll get off the ride, and get back in line to do it all over again.

Kira Dorrian and Tracy Adams are Seattle-based Clinical Hypnotherapists and HypnoBirthing® Practitioners, each a mom of twins. Together they have created HypnoMothering™, a class designed to help prepare women for a gentle transition into motherhood, and a safe space for new mothers to be seen, heard, and supported.