It's been one of those days that started with a dead battery. Not me, dragging myself out of bed for coffee: a literal dead battery in the car. As it turns out, you need to replace those suckers every 80K miles or so.

I knocked on some neighbor's doors, but they were all gone to work already, so I called the roadside assistance folks. They sent a freaking Paladin. I kid you not, Paladin Roadside Assistance showed up, namely a smart fellow named Tom who does what the tow companies do, but better and cheaper. He doesn't tow anyone, just does tires and batteries. He arrived BEFORE the confirmation call from the dispatcher came through. I'd link his site, if he had one.

I loved getting the dispatcher call telling me he'd be there in 15 minutes when the Paladin was already there, cables hooked up. Awesome.

shellyinseattle got us a new battery not long after that. But really, how often can you rave about a tow company like this?

"Sure, I can lay on hands on your battery, but I'm very concerned about how much you've been hanging out with kobolds. And those speeding tickets could affect me getting my next level. So could you try to drive in a more lawful good manner?"

He gets out and says to the mechanic "It's really weird. Normally I fight for justice and righteousness, but every time I get in this car I have this incredible urge to run over old ladies, drive way past the speed limit, and pick up hitchhiking demons. Can you help me?"

The mechanic looks the car over and says "Yeah, I see what the problem is. Your alignment's off."--Lore, "a joke that come to [him] in a flash of dumb"