Recognize them . . . before they recognize you.

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Denial and Deceit

All abusers are in denial and tend to be comfortable lying, having years of practice (and no qualms,) and so can sound believable when making baseless statements. The abuser presents himself as a sincere, respectable person and benefits when people feel too uncomfortable to ask for substantiation or fail to look closely at evidence—if not ignore it—because of his charm and convincing manner. He also benefits when people self-confidently believe that they can “just tell” who is lying and who is telling the truth, and so fail to adequately investigate.