Go To Hell Part II......What Say You?

My friend and brother in crime Saddam wrote you a letter several days ago asking for help.

As you know,in the past we frequently car-pooled together..sharing information about various infidels..swapping spy stories..and generally doing everything we could think of to demonize America and what it stands for........

Since late October of 2001,your friend and confidant President George W. Bush has administered a serious ass-whipping on me personally and also to a group of my associates in Afghanistan,Pakistan,and most recently, Iraq.

Is it possible that you can talk to your friend Mr. Bush and perhaps get him to lighten up?

My wives are now constantly nagging me about our living conditions and told me that they will leave me if I don't get them a bigger cave with at least a view of something other than these barren Pakistani mountains.

Is it possible that you can talk to your friend Mr. Bush and perhaps get him to lighten up?

Bear in mind please that there are serious public relations ramifications that I have to deal with here...and in the interim I will be forced to continue to present this foolish posture of heroic yet idiotic opposition to your country and its way of life.

As summer is fast approaching and the humidity here in Pakistan is somewhat uncomfortable,a prompt reply is requested.

Very Truly Yours

O.B.Laden

The Mighty Eagle's Reply:

(Clenching talons, wings spread and fury in his eyes)

Mr B.Laden:

Ok...your turn...help me draft an answer!

Rules:Here' s your opportunity to respond to a nefarious villain who in his latest video release floated the possibility of a "truce" with the West.

We here in America have the same nagging problem, only it is comming anti victory wimps. We would be more than happy to meet you and get them off our backs.
Our custom is to meet with the guest strapped to a chair while wearing a metal freindship hat. Looking forward to an exciting meeting with our good friend Ben.

Osammy: What the hell are you talking about. We have had a truce with you for nearly four years now. And don’t think that you are fooling us for a minute with that living in a backwater cave in Pakistan routine. We know you are kicked back in your mother’s palace in Saudi Arabia with your Lovena on your lap.

How could you do what you did to us on 911. You nearly broke George’s heart. You know that you and yours were like family to the Bushes. And, you know that he had to respond to your attack even though he wanted to go after Sadam. Speaking of Sadam, that is another lie you are trying to push on us, we know that he would have cut your throat if he could have gotten his hands on you.

So you attacked us and George sent the army to Afganistan. They put a boot in the Talaban’s ass and sent you running. But, when the army had you cornered at Tora Bora, George called them off and let you escape. You’ve had all the breaks you are going to get. It’s time for you to turn yourself in and take the punishment for what you did to us.

Stop spamming us, our best CIA experts deep analysis of your letter found out that both voice sound and your visibly good health prove that you’re not Oshama Ben Laden. Even with bad signal/noise ratio, you’ll never fool us!
Beside, we can’t reply officially to any WOT topics sooner than after 2004 re-election 2006 mid-term. Thanks for your patience.

Deep in my heart I know you are on the run, if you’re alive at all. Who knows if you’re hiding in some cave or not; we haven’t heard from you in a long time. And the idea of focusing on one person is — really indicates to me people don’t understand the scope of the mission.

Terror is bigger than one person. And you’re just — you’re a person who’s now been marginalized. Your network, your host government has been destroyed. You’re the ultimate parasite who found weakness, exploited it, and met your match. You are — as I mentioned in my speech, I do mention the fact that you are a fellow who is willing to commit youngsters to their death and you, yourself, try to hide — if, in fact, you’re hiding at all.

So I don’t know where you are. You know, I just don’t spend that much time on you, to be honest with you. I’m more worried about making sure that our soldiers are well-supplied; that the strategy is clear; that the coalition is strong; that when we find enemy bunched up like we did in Shahikot Mountains, that the military has all the support it needs to go in and do the job, which they did.

And there will be other battles in Afghanistan. There’s going to be other struggles like Shahikot, and I’m just as confident about the outcome of those future battles as I was about Shahikot, where our soldiers are performing brilliantly. We’re tough, we’re strong, they’re well-equipped. We have a good strategy. We are showing the world we know how to fight a guerrilla war with conventional means.

I say, we haven’t heard much from you. And I wouldn’t necessarily say you’re at the center of any command structure. And, again, I don’t know where you are. I — I’ll repeat what I said. I truly am not that concerned about you. I know you are on the run. I was concerned about you, when you had taken over a country. I was concerned about the fact that you were basically running Afghanistan and calling the shots for the Taliban.

But once we set out the policy and started executing the plan, you became — we shoved you out more and more on the margins. You have no place to train your al Qaeda killers anymore. And if we — excuse me for a minute — and if we find a training camp, we’ll take care of it. Either we will or our friends will. That’s one of the things — part of the new phase that’s becoming apparent to the American people is that we’re working closely with other governments to deny sanctuary, or training, or a place to hide, or a place to raise money.

And we’ve got more work to do. See, that’s the thing the American people have got to understand, that we’ve only been at this six months six years this coming October. This is going to be a long struggle. I keep saying that; I don’t know whether you all believe me or not. But time will show you that it’s going to take a long time to achieve this objective. And I can assure you, I am not going to blink. And I’m not going to get tired. Because I know what is at stake. And history has called us to action, and I am going to seize this moment for the good of the world, for peace in the world and for freedom.

Well, Bin Laden I don’t give a shit about you , your time is coming and I just hope its slow and painful.If it hasn’t already some say you dead other say your healthy. If I was any where close to you , you would be neither.Say what you want to it doesn’t bother this man one bit.
Everyone come see me , you to Bin Laden
www.fredwilkes.blogspot.com

I am so sorry for your condition. Having just one wife nagging about keeping up with the Joneses is bad enough…

I think it’s about time that you took a lesson from the Drug Lord playbook and give yourself up to the nearest American patrol. After all, do you really want to be in jail in a third world country? No lawyer. No decent food? No conjucal visits? No rights?

If you give yourself up to the nearest American force, you’ll have a jail cell with a view, a mattress to sleep on instead of the ground, visits with your lawyers anytime you want, cable TV, workout rooms, air conditioning, decent food and…after all that…you’ll have your day in court, where you can say anything that your little heart desires and where the press of the world will repeat every single little word you speak. Talk about EXPOSURE for your cause!!!

So what would you rather do? Live in squalor with a bunch of funky smelling friends…getting your message out once every 6 or 8 months? Or would you rather live in semi-luxury with the world’s press hanging on every word you say?

Don’t be stupid. If you really believe in this “America must die” thing, then give yourself up to the nearest Americans and REALLY advance your cause.

Thanks alot you fanatical prick. If you hadn’t killed those poeple then BushII wouldn’t have had an excuse to take over my country. You know I haven’t ever coordinated with you on anything but I still got screwed.

As you know,in the past we frequently car-pooled together..sharing information about various infidels..swapping spy stories..and generally doing everything we could think of to demonize America and what it stands for……..

Too bad my sons are toast, they would have had fun with you in my dungeons.

Thanks. I only changed a few words from that reply Bush once gave.
Perhaps you’d better understand the depth of my anger with this president (and all the president’s men) and his failure to capture or kill Bin Laden if I told you that one of my oldest friends died in the North Tower of the WTC on 9/11? I don’t often mention that fact here in this blog — because I consider it rather maudlin to inject my own personal grief and total outrage over their complete failure to bring this Monster to Justice.
It is also rather hard for me to clearly and articulately convey the deep offense this administration has given (to the families and friends of those who lost their lives that day) with their seemingly cavalier and nonchalant attitude regarding that failure. Yet, I suspect that even without my discussing all of my feelings on this subject, my true sentiments often come through in my posts here anyway.
But since I’ve raised the topic, I might as well tell you this: not only do I think this administration has proven themselves utter failures and total incompetents at waging war (and at everything else they’ve done while in power, for that matter), I also believe they have actually given Al Qaeda terrorists the ultimate triumph. They’ve done this by subverting our Constitution and far, far too many of our principles and founding beliefs in the name of their vague and assinine “War on Terror”. This, IMO, is the most important and most grave of their many High Crimes which should be considered worthy of impeachment.
In their foolishness and idiocy, and with Congress’ full approval, they have actually been allowed to change what America has always stood for — to We the People, and to the rest of the world.
This, to me, is their ultimate failure — and if my friend who died that day knew what they’ve been allowed to do in his name, he would undoubtedly be even more angry, outraged, and deeply disgusted than I am.

I am familiar with the president’s note that you slightly modified,and I will say a prayer for your friend this evening.

Every year since 9/11 I have made a special pilgrimage to ground zero.I usually go by myself and stand at the fence.This may sound silly,but I can almost hear the screams of the dead there.

Prior to 9/11,I distained politics.I was content living my life as a law prof and attorney,and traveling back and forth to Sicily starting my new business.

Like everyone else,my world turned upside down that day.

On September 10th,my then wife left for Amsterdam to visit her parents.I was to leave a couple days later.In those days (prior to her brain aneurysm…I have written on this previously),we split our time among America,Holland and Sicily…and life was great.

I managed to get out on the first flight a couple days later.Like everyone else,I was beserk with rage and basicially wanted to throttle the first Mid-Eastern person I saw.

As you know,A’dam has a large Arab population…as does Leiden where my apartment was located.

For weeks on end I remember going to the shwarma shacks of A”dam just to talk to folks…and over a period of many months I talked to hundreds.

Very few showed sympathy for what had happened.It was back then that I took up studying Islam.

In Sicily I spent most of my time in the Communist coffee shops around the University of Catania talking to folks too…just to get a proper understanding of their viewpoint as well.

I know that you and I profoundly disagree on many many things.

However,I think we can both agree that this attack has changed the world.

I wanted to write this piece to remind folks about who this nation’s true blood enemy is.

Dear Asshole,
It’s to late to get the Government off your back. You had the chance back in 2004 but you wouldn’t back Kerry.
What do we care if your camels run off (I mean wives)? So what if your cave doesn’t have a view? We don’t give a crap.
However if you are tired of hiding I’ll be glad to help you. Meet me on the Afghan, Pakistan border at noon tomorrow. Be sure to wear a great big red bulls eye on your chest so I’ll know it’s really you. I’ll be more than happy to help you out with your problems.

I saw where this e-mail got intercepted by the NSA. Personally I thought it might be in bad taste, but, I thought I would pass it on anyway.

“Hey Osama,

I was begining to think we wouldn’t ever hear from you again.

First off, let me say I’m really sorry your brother commited suicide over me losing all his money for him and all.
He shoulda known that I couldn’t find oil in a Piggly Wiggly, and if I hadn’t done all that blow and all that drinking in collage I woulda figured out it was over by the anti-freeze all the time.

I never was the sharpest tool in the box and if daddy and all his friends hadn’ta pick me back up all those times I just don’t know what I woulda done.

You know, being a President and all is a lot harder than they told me it was gonna be, but cause I’m a decider, I gotta make all these decisions all the time.
Hell, the decisions might be wrong, like that time I decided to trade Sammy Sosa, but at least I’m making them.
You know, sooner or later I’m gonna have to make a right one, cause they say even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while.

I like that one.

I kind lost track of you after Tora Bora, but I had all that brush building up back at the ranch, and I had to take a vacation just to clear it away.
Why is it Osama, that every time I take a vacation, something bad happens.
I mean all I have to do is go back to the ranch and a tsunammi hits or a huricane wipes out a city. You’d think a fella could get a little peace once in a while, besides I’ve got all that brush to think about.

I am heartened that you actually aksed for my view on OBL. So here it is:

We got distracted with Iraq. Sadaam was a non-secular tyrant and as such actually earned the animosity of OBL back in the 90’s. Before OBL was considered our highest priority target following 9/11, OBL had orchestrated things like the Cole attack and was highly suspected of being behind the African embassy bombings in the 90’s. IT was during that time frame that OBL issued statements making it clear he wanted Sadaam’s head. It was in the news at the time, but there was a lot less of our PUBLIC attention on him at the time so I guess the American public either missed it or forgot it. It was always clear that OBL and Sadaam were completely separate issues. OBL is, like all terrorists, an oportunist. When we created ‘battlefield Iraq’ we set up the oportunity for OBL to send in his guy, Zarqawe to help the insurection and to create havoc with our troops and with any attempt to set up a pro-American democratic regime. Unfortuneatly, our continued beligerant policies, our inability or lack of desire to work within the World body (U.N.) have resulted in our losing the moral high ground in the eyes of the world. This harsh reality makes it easier for the terrorists to drum up support among those who might otherwise not be inclined to believe their point of view. This is what is meant by the bumpersticker I am seeing more and more of these days (isn’t it unfortuneate that our political discussion in this country is so often reduced to soundbites and bumperstickers?): “We are making enemies faster than we can kill them.”

Now, we have an Uncle Remus tar-baby situation in Iraq, and we are losing ground on finding the mastermind behind our troubles. If we leave cold, we leave anarchy in our wake and Iraq will most probably look similar to Afghanistan under the Taliban - an extremist, islamist regime giving harbour to terrorists. That is clearly unnacceptable to ALL Americans regardless of politics. However, if we stay, we are creating the physical focus for continued attacks on us and our efforts by the growing numbers of those who wish us harm. The result may well still be anarchy in Iraq. The only option is success in creating a stable regime in Iraq. That means we have to win an idealogical battle FIRST. WE have to regain the moral high ground if we are to get out of Iraq AT ALL.

So, why did Bush turn down U.N. peacekeeper help when it was offered AFTER the war? Does he want to kill more Americans and never regain the moral high ground? Does he WANT the world to imagine this as the U.S. against Iraq for the sake of oil?

It really isn’t enough to say this president is STUPID. He’s dangerous to us all.

Now you have my thoughts, SE. Do with them as you wish. I do not feel comfortable composing fake letters regarding this issue. It just doesn’t feel right to me.

Great job.
I agree tacticial mistakes were made.For one thing we were cultural dolts in our overall understanding of the Muslim mind.
In many ways we still are.
I think the military/inteligence group has learned a great deal with Iraq’s mistakes…and I don’t think they will be repeated in Iran should intervention be necessary (I hope not).
Politicially,we have scant few in the state department trained on the Islam problem.
For decades all eyes were trained on the Cold War and a whole generation of upper-level diplomats were schooled from that direction and not the asymetricial views necessary to be effective.
I thought it was great that Rice changed State Department rotation policy a few months ago,and now people are getting rotated in and out of posts all over the world gaining valuable experience.
Despite what posters on the left column think,Bush isn’t the enemy of the American people.He may be in over his head,he may be incompetent,but he isn’t the enemy,I think.
Today I scanned some of the articles on the other side,and I was sadddened by the hate and bitterness there.Seething hatred.Every once in a while some of the extreme posters there call for revolution,civil war.That saddens me a great deal.
We need to remember who the real enemy is,and I think guys like OBL are at the top of the list

S.E.: Tactical mistakes were made will be known as the understatement of this decade.

What really saddens me is the fact that our president has caused the deaths of tens of thousands of Iraq men, women and children. Most of them were innocent ordinary people who had nothing to do with 911, Osama or Sadams “secret weapons of mass destruction.”

Bush was the first to make a mistake,I think.
He was mistaken about not understanding the Muslim mind though….however both sides of the aisle are guilty of that.
However hindsight is 20-20.The question is how dows America catch OBL….or can he be caught?Is it enough to marginalize the guy?

I think it is wishful and dangerous thinking to presume that he (OBL) is marginalized, now. He clearly has enough support out there to remain uncaught. That in itself is food for careful thought, is it not?

RFG
Actually I do think he’s marginalized.His outfit is pretty much gutted.Yes of course there are a gazillion terrorist wannabes as a result of both wars,but even within his group there is now discord.
Don’t get me wrong…this is a very shrewd enemy we fight…but OBL is more a mythicial figure now than an active battlefield commander.
He’s hiding for his life,and others have indirectly assumed the mantle.
There is a school of thought there that if he’s killed the legend of OSL will grow ten-fold.
While I don’t ascribe to that theory,when he’s killed,it may be a pr bonanza for the enemy more than us I think.
The new folks scare me more actually

I know what you mean about the new folks.
As for OBL himself, well, I just hope you’re right. This is one fellow about which we cannot afford to be wrong! The fact that he has gone so long with out being caught is profoundly disturbing. It suggests that there is a growing well spring of supporters out there aiding and abetting. I can’t fathom it any other way.

Just wanted to commend you for being a conservative with a brain. You should donate it to science after you pass this earth. It is indeed a rarity.

This conversation has become very level-headed and civil, which is nice to see. I wanted to point out in Adrienne’s extremely poignant post that W. continually mentions that OBL doesn’t matter to him anymore. How often, though, have we heard his name repeated in the past years in connection with a justification for war with Iraq? I think OBL matters quite a bit.

I think we are really lucky that most extremests are not very intellegent. I am a single person and with my understanding of how our transportation system works (as a CDL/Hazmat Drive, Aircraft Mechanic and pre-engineering student) with some determination and about $250,000 I could single handedly take this country down on its knees. I will not put the details in because it would be giving the enemy information. I would not use a plane. I would use A Fuel truck full of Gas or Diesel. Actually more like 10-50 scattered thought the united states. Lock up the ports ( this would be the more difficult part but not hard). All one needs is time, determination and careful planning. You figure out the details. This stuff is not hard/difficult. We can not depend on giving up civil liberties to defend ourselves. This is a loose/loose situation. It doesn’t matter how much you monitor civil comunication when a timothy McVey (sp) decides to blow something up. You don’t even need to buy explosives you can buy all the parts at your local feed store.
Personally I think the only reason we have not had more problems is these people we are talking about are fairly incompatant. Instead of flight school they should have taken —— in college. This would have given them the info the needed to build bombs and cause real damage.
As for hiding out and fighting off small bands these guys may be great at it but for causing real damage they are nothing compared to a little military training, discovery chanel watching, and just plain mechanical knowhow. Give me a wrench bender any day over these idiots.

A couple years ago I saw a hilarious cartoon in the New Yorker,A mullah wearing a suicide vest was standing in front of a bunch of student homicide bombers were were sitting crossed-leg in front of him.He had his hand on the string ready to detonate it.The caption read:”ok,guys,listen up…I’m only going to do this once”
As long as the maddresses (sic) keep churning out brain-washed potential marytrs,this problem will persist.
I am one of those guys who think this is BOTH a politicial issue but very much a religious issue as well.

timesend
These guys have tremendous patience.That is why Rummy says this is a battle of wills.Militarily there is no way the terrorists can win,but they hope that over time Washington’s will fold.
Politics does that.
I think also that the FBI,Homeland,and law enforcement in general has stopped other attacks before they happened but haven’t told up fearing public opinion.

Dave
Thanks for the kind words.I think that you’re a smart fellow and I enjoy reading your posts.While we disagree on a variety of things,when I decided to start posting I made the decision not to be a bomb-thrower because nothing gets accomplished really except replicating what’s going on in Washington….gridlock and polarization.
Instead,I lob a softball out there for everyone to bat around and get their say.Several times an article,the rabid ones come around and beat me up but I think their vitrol gets diluted when you travel down an entire thread.In the context of disscussion,their anger at things is visible for all to see and their message is put into that context with the reader.Sometimes it’s downright enjoyable to read a terrific opposing post.
Last week for example on my piece on education,one of the posters was a former principal and superintendent.The first couple of exchanges were testy,but in the final analysis by the end of the thread we both realized(or at least I did anyway)that there may be more than one way to skin a cat.

I’m going to disagree with you about it being a religious issue. Islam has no monopoly on desparate suicide attacks. In fact that is the commonality right there, desparation. You made a comment about not understanding the muslim mind awhile back. I let it go at the time, but that is dangerous thinking as well. When you look at history there are desparate causes all over the place and the similarity is the desparation. What we failed to do was understand the context and popular viewpoint of many in the middle east who have seen us from a point of view we don’t like. The muslim mind is not so different from the Christian, Jewish, or any other. Fear breeds desparation and those who wish to create martyrs or fools need only manipulate fear. Fear is the real enemy. It is wrong to imagine that the Muslims of this world are so far different from the rest of us that they would do different things. That is the same trap as to think Hitler a monster. The really monstrous thing about Hitler and those like him, is how much like us they really are. It is the nearness of their humanity to our own that requires our constant vigilence to prevent any recurrence of the same evil. Don’t lose sight of that.

I have known many muslims and called them friends. They find the extremists in their religion every bit as misguided and morally repugnant as I do or as I find the extremists in mine. The Koran teaches things very different from what our popular media would have you believe. They are not inherently mysoginistic, far from it. The Koran teaches to put a priority on the education of the female children over the male because it is the female who are most likely to effectively pass it on to the next generation. Do not deceive yourself into thinking that the Muslims are so far different. The enemy is fear, not a moral failure of only one porion of humanity. Continuing to characterize our mistake as a failure to “understand the Muslim mind” is dangerous thinking and in error. Our nation has excercised a failure of understanding. That is the truth of it.

Ok. I see we are both of the same understanding then. I just wanted to make sure in light of the tone in some of the prvious posts. It would be dangerous and would only make things worse if the notion that the problem lies with Islam itself were to proliferate.

“Roughly 10% of the world Muslim population adhere to either strict Wabbabi views ot Salafist views or any number of other extremist views.”

100 million is roughly 2/3’s the population of America.

There are also some “fanatic” Americans that think the only way to rid the world of terrorism is to rid the world of these Muslim fanatics.

You and I both know that it would be not only impossible to accomplish this feat, but it would be counter-productive in that it would also further their fanatical point.

I don’t hate America. We have done some very good things in the world.
We have also done some dubious things, and we need to keep those things in mind when we ride in and try to judge the folks that are currently pissed at America.