“I want you to (blank) my (blank) until you (blank).”

On another social site, someone recently inquired as to why they get messages of the mostly sexual nature from people who, due to location or marital status, had neither chance nor opportunity to turn their words into actions. What did it do for them? Why has it become so prevalent? Well, I am not an expert, in anything, let alone this. But I do believe that there are a multitude of reasons why a person would act and interact like they do, and here are a few that I believe to be most likely.

AVAILABILITY OF NSFW IMAGES OF YOUR PERSON

“What was she wearing?” is NOT what I mean. The very state of a person’s dress has absolutely zero to do with the amount of respect they deserve. If a woman is naked and her privates are mere inches from your face, it is still the polite thing to ask before attempting to make use of any of your parts on theirs. What I mean is that by and large, people have to wait a good amount of time between meeting a person, and for the lack of a less interesting next sentence, meating a person. There are introductions to be done, the getting to know one another phase, and of course, the “Would you like to see my willy?” conversation. Three months for that last step alone, most of the time. But that is without the internet.

On certain websites, we can see parts of the world, we can see art from people we’ve never met, we could see people doing things we do not have the chance to, and of course, we can see parts of people we’ve never met doing things to other people that we’ll never have the chance to. And it is the latter that helps spawn this brazen behavior. By showing people what we usually save for those we are closest to we escalate the situation between this stranger and the person posting their parts, to an area where these people do not operate well. Let me say it again: It is not the fault, nor the responsibility of the person posting. I don’t care if their profile picture is literally a GIF that only a gynecologist could figure out. It is not their responsibility to disclaim every image so that someone else doesn’t react a certain way.

If you’re old enough to turn on a computer or pay a cell phone bill, you should be wise enough to know how to interact with someone. Yes, we are aware that the person half naked on your screen is attractive to you, and yes, it is lovely to want to tell them. But maybe instead of something closer to the title of this article, you could try a compliment. I’ll even give you two examples, see which one works best for you.

“I really like what you’ve posted. Thank you for sharing”
“You are beautiful. This made my day!”

Granted, unsolicited messages are still unsolicited, and shouldn’t ever be expected to gain a response. But if you’re going to start messaging people because they’re half naked, do everyone a favor and don’t be a cunt about it. I could go on and on about this particular subject, but since I’ve already explained twice how it is not anyone’s responsibility to hinder your sexual behavior but yourself, I feel we should move on to the next reason.

IMPULSE CONTROL

This one can be quite tricky for certain people, as they are not well versed in the act of seeing something they want, and not being able to have it. Blame it on the lack of patience we have as a society. Blame it on the availability of almost anything one can want. Blame it on the popcorn button on your microwave. The point is: People do not feel they should wait for anything, so they simply do not. As I mentioned previously, the usual steps between meeting someone and seeing them naked is quite reduced to what it normally is, when comparing online interactions with IRL ones. In some cases, the person sending the messages is doing so out of desperation for human contact, or sexual interaction. Perhaps they are overweight or can’t dress very well. Maybe they are shy and unsure of themselves, so much they can’t make a move on in-person people. Maybe they’re just perverts and don’t care what you think.

The point is, they do what they do because they have no reason to believe that it isn’t wanted. Even if you put up a disclaimer, even if you advertise in that one paper that people still read, you’re going to get these messages because the impulse that it might work out is always going to be stronger than the one that tells them not to. Vanity is always going to tell the person that the warnings are meant or others, and not the amazing person of infinite charm and grace that is themselves. And besides, why not try? After all, there is the third reason to fall back on:

ANONYMITY

In this day and age, if you were to go to a park, and have a man walk up to you and show you his penis, you would have a list of information to give to the authorities in order to prevent him for further harassing you. You’d know his height, his weight, his eye color, his facial features, what he was wearing, and even which direction he went in. With the inclusion of cell phone cameras, you’d probably get the entire thing in HD. But this is social media. And here, the only thing you know is what they want you to know. Don’t like the photo of my terribly lit penis I just snap-chatted to you on Thursday? I can change my name, my profile picture and contact you again on Friday. You are none the wiser and I’ve lost nothing in my efforts to get you to appreciate my penis.

It is a terrible game to play, and is one I’d hope people weren’t capable of playing, but I know it happens, and it disgusts me to think how often. I’m a fan of sex, as are most non-catholic people. I like the naked form of the gender of my preference. I like to see it as much as possible. And I know there are people out there who may not have the access to sexual interactions due to a myriad of reasons. But when given the option to enjoy the imagery silently, or to reach out and contact that person, I wish they’d go with the first option. Because something that a lot of anonymous impulsive people do not seem to understand, despite whatever their lot in life is…
IF YOU ARE GOING TO LOOK AT ADULT MATERIAL, YOU HAVE TO ACT LIKE A FUCKING ADULT.

Because it wasn’t taken for you, it isn’t okay to say what you’re going to say, because they aren’t asking to hear it. Maybe they are, maybe they’ve asked you to do so. Be aware, one person’s permission to act a certain way does not mean all people who behave in a similar way agree and consent to such.

Hopefully the people reading this don’t need to, and if they know someone who does, it isn’t at unhealthy levels. If you disagree with something I’ve said, by all means, say so. Because unlike the woman who likes to take pictures of herself in various states of undress, I welcome your feedback. Hell, the title of this isn’t “I want you to (read) my (article) until you (have a valid point to make in contrast/support, and then please, comment)” for a reason.