Basic principles of children's upbringing: advice and best practices

What is meant by the principles of education?We are talking about the starting points underlying the pedagogical process. They mean the consistency and constancy of the actions of adults in different circumstances and situations. These principles are derived from the very nature of education as a social phenomenon.

When adults perceive this goal asa certain peak, planned for achievement by the child, principles of education are reduced to an opportunity of realization conceived proceeding from concrete conditions - psychological and social. That is, the whole of them can be considered as a series of practical recommendations, shown to the leadership in any life circumstances with the purpose of helping the pedagogically competent alignment of the techniques and tactics of one's own activity for "growing" children.

What changed?

A number of recent years (and, perhaps, decades)society is experiencing certain democratic changes, in connection with which there is a review of many principles of educating children with a new content. In particular, the so-called principle of subordination goes into the past. What it is? According to this postulate the childhood of the child was not considered as a separate independent phenomenon, but served as a kind of preparation for adult life.

Another principle - monologism - is replaced directlythe opposite - the principle of dialogism. What does this mean in practice? What is undoubtedly the "soloing" role of an adult person (when children were given the right to only respectfully "listen") changes to the situation of relative equality of adults and children as subjects of education. In the new democratic conditions, both professional teachers and parents simply need to learn how to communicate with the child from the position of "on equal footing".

What are the principles of family education these days can we talk about?

The first principle - focus

For education as a pedagogical phenomenoncharacteristic is the existence of a certain orientation of the socio-cultural orientation, acting as the ideal of pedagogical activity and the expected results of the educational process. Most modern families are oriented toward a number of objective goals formulated by the mentality of a particular society.

As the main component of the pedagogicalpoliticians, such goals in our time are taken in the aggregate values ​​of universal character, the exposition of which is present in the Declaration of Human Rights, the Constitution of the Russian Federation, the Declaration of the Rights of the Child. Of course, at the household level, very few of the parents operate with the pedagogical and scientific concepts and terms contained there, such as "harmonious all-round development of the personality", but all parents, with the baby in their hands, dream of the fact that he will grow up a healthy, happy, prosperous person , living in harmony with others. That is, the existence of universal values ​​is implied by the "default".

Each particular family has its ownown ideas about what parents want to see their own children. This gives the domestic principles of education a subjective color. In consideration, as a rule, the child's abilities (both real and imaginary) and other individual traits of his personality are taken. Sometimes - often enough - parents analyze their own lives, success, education, personal relationships and find in them a number of serious gaps or miscalculations. This leads to the desire to raise a baby quite differently.

The purpose of the educational process in this caseparents put the development of a son or daughter of certain abilities, qualities that allow the heir to achieve what the "ancestors" failed. Undoubtedly, upbringing is always done taking into account the cultural, ethnic and religious traditions that are important for the family.

As carriers of objective principleseducation and upbringing can be called a number of public institutions, with which in one way or another there is a connection with any family. These are modern kindergartens, later - schools. In the event of contradictions in the educational purposes of family members and kindergarten (school), it is possible to have a negative impact on the development of the child (both general and neuropsychological) and its disorganization.

In a particular family, it can often be difficultthe definition of an educational goal in the absence of a clear parental understanding of the characteristics of the child associated with his age and sex, the trends of child development and the very nature of the educational process. That is why the function of professional educators is to assist specific families in determining educational goals.

The second principle is scientific

For hundreds of years, the basis of homeeducation was common sense in conjunction with everyday ideas and those customs and traditions that it was customary to transfer from generation to generation. But during the last century a number of human sciences (including pedagogy) are moving ahead at a high pace. Not only the principles of physical education have changed. There are many modern scientific data concerning the laws of development of the child's personality, on which the modern pedagogical process is built.

Sensible approach of parents to scientificeducational bases serves as a pledge to achieve more serious results in the development of their children. A number of studies have established a negative role (in the form of miscalculations and errors in home education) of misunderstanding by mothers and fathers of pedagogical and psychological basics. In particular, the lack of ideas about specific age-related children's characteristics leads to the use of means and methods of education of an arbitrary nature.

Adults who do not know how and who do not want to work onthe creation of a favorable family psychological climate, almost always "achieve" the child's neurosis and adolescent deviant behavior. At the same time, in the world of everyday life, the notion of the uncomplicated nature of such a thing as the upbringing of a child is still quite viable. Such pedagogical ignorance, inherent in a part of parents, leads to the lack of need for them to become acquainted with the pedagogical and psychological literature, consultations with specialists, and so on.

According to sociological research is growingthe proportion of families with young educated parents occupying a different position. They are characterized by a display of interest in modern scientific information on the problems of child development and upbringing, as well as the desire to improve their own pedagogical culture.

The third principle is humanism

He means respect for the child's personality.And this is one of the most important principles of social education. The essence of it - the desire and duty of parents to adopt their own child as he is in the whole set of individual traits, habits, tastes. This ratio does not depend on any external norms, standards, estimates and parameters. The principle of humanism implies that there is no complaint about the fact that the baby can not justify the maternal or paternal expectations, or the self-restraints and sacrifices that the parents bear in connection with caring for him.

A son or daughter does not have to match thatThe ideal representation that has developed in the parental mind. They need recognition of the uniqueness, identity and value of one's own personality at every particular moment of development. This means taking the right to manifest one's own child's "I" in every particular moment of life.

All parents notice gaps in child growth andeducation in comparison with the "samples". The latter are peers, children of relatives, friends, etc. Children are compared according to "achievements" in speech development, dexterity, physical skills, etiquette, obedience, etc. The modern principles of the upbringing of children instruct pedagogically competent parents to correct the observed shortcomings carefully, without offensive comparisons. Tactics of parental actions require a shift in emphasis from the requirements for child behavior to the restructuring of their own educational practices.

The basic rule of pedagogy, which follows frommentioned principle of humanity is to avoid comparing the baby with anyone - from peers to great people and literary heroes, the lack of calls for copying any samples and standards of behavior and imposing "on the forehead" of a particular activity. On the contrary, it is extremely important to teach a growing person to remain himself. Development implies a steady advance. That is why a comparison is always required only with one's own achievements on the "yesterday's" segment of the road.

This line of education impliesparental optimism, faith in children's opportunities, orientation to realistically achievable goals in the matter of self-improvement. Following it leads to a reduction in the number of conflicts (both internal psychological and external family), tranquility and strengthening of physical and mental health of children.

Not so simple

It is not easy to comply with all the above principlestraining and education in the case of the birth of a baby with the presence of certain external features or even physical defects, especially when they are sufficiently visible and lead to curiosity and inadequate reactions of others. It can be a "hare lip", bright pigmented spots, deformed auricles and even serious deformities. Such features of appearance in themselves are a source of experience for a growing person, and in the case of tactless statements by close and uninvited people (which is especially common), often the child's concept of inferiority with subsequent negative influence on growth and development.

To prevent or to soften it as much as possibleis possible only through the reconciliation of parents with the fact that the child has some insurmountable features. The educational policy in this case is a hard and gradual training of the baby to understand the need to live with the existing shortcoming and to treat it calmly. This task is not easy. After all, the social environment (school or street environment) will constantly experience the growing man as manifestations of mental brutality both for children and adults, including professional educators, from curious views and innocent remarks to laughter and outright abuse.

The most important task of each parent in this case -teach the daughter or son as painless as possible to perceive the behavior of others. It is important in this situation to identify and maximize any existing dignity and good talent of the baby. It can be about the ability to sing, compose tales, dance, draw, etc. It is necessary to temper the child physically, to encourage in him manifestations of kindness and cheerful disposition. Any pronounced dignity of a child's personality will serve that very "zest" that will attract friends and just others around him and help you not to notice physical flaws.

About the benefits of family stories

It turns out that such traditions, existing asrule, in every family, are extremely important as a factor of normal mental child development. It is established that those people whose childhood was accompanied by family histories told by grandmothers, grandfathers, mothers and fathers are capable of better understanding of psychological interrelations in the world around them. In a difficult situation it is easier for them to navigate. Such a story telling to children and grandchildren of family legends and episodes from the past contributes to the mutual balancing of the psyche and the tide of the positive emotions so necessary to all of us.

Any child likes to repeat the same thingsfavorite stories, although sometimes it is not easy for parents to guess about it. Already an adult, we are happy to remember family jokes and "legends." And we can talk not only about positive examples - the successes and achievements of older relatives. Psychologists believe that the importance for the development of children's psyche memories of parents, grandparents of the past failures can not be overestimated. Such stories lead to an increase in children's self-confidence - after all, loved ones and loved ones also did not achieve everything right away. Therefore, the child calms down about their own mistakes and believes that he is just as able to achieve all or almost everything.

Psychologists recommended to share as often as possiblewith kids stories from their own lives. This applies particularly to the period when the “listener” was still quite a tender age and only started to master the world around. Children are happy to feel their own growth and are proud of any, even if only small, achievements.

Согласно современным принципам воспитания в pedagogy, cooperation and mutual respect, based on trust, benevolence and unconditional love, are the basis for building relations between adults and children. Even Janusz Korczak, the idea was expressed that adults tend to care only about their rights and fall into indignation in case of encroachment on them. But every adult is obliged to respect and children's rights - in particular, the right to know or not to know, to fail and shed tears, not to mention the right to property. In short, it is about the rights of the baby to be who he is at the moment.

Do you recognize yourself?

Увы, очень и очень большое число родителей rejects the modern pedagogical principles of upbringing and stands at a common position with respect to the child - "be the way I want to see you." This is usually based on good motives, but in its essence this attitude is dismissive of the child’s personality. Just think about it - in the name of the future (planned by mom or dad) there is a breakdown of the child’s will, the killing of the initiative.

Vivid examples - constant hastesluggish in nature child, prohibitions to communicate with unwanted peers, coercion is those dishes that do not like, etc. In such cases, parents are not aware of the fact that the child does not belong to their property, and they "illegally" appropriated the right decisions of children's fate. The duty of parents is to respect the children's personality and create conditions for the all-round development of the abilities of their child, help with the choice of a vital path.

The wise and great teacher-humanist V. A.Sukhomlinsky called on every adult to feel his own childhood, to try to treat the misdemeanors of a child with wisdom and the belief that children's mistakes are not a deliberate violation. Try not to think badly about children. Children's initiative should not be broken, but only directed and corrected tactfully and unobtrusively.

The fourth principle is continuity, consistency, planning.

Согласно ему воспитание в семье обязано следовать set goal Such an approach implies a gradual implementation of the entire set of pedagogical tasks and principles of education. Not only the content, but also the methods, means and methods that are used in the educational process according to the individual and age-related children's possibilities should differ in their planality and consistency.

Let's give an example:It is easier and more convenient for a young child to switch from an undesirable type of activity to another distraction. But such a “trick” is no longer suitable for raising a five-year-old child. Here you will need to convince, explain, confirm by personal example. As it is known, “growing up” a child is one of those long and invisible processes for the armed eye, the results of which can be felt not immediately - sometimes after many, many years. But there is no doubt that these results will be quite realistic in the case of consistent and systematic adherence to the basic principles of education.

With this approach, the baby grows with a feelingpsychological stability and confidence in themselves and their surroundings, which is one of the most important foundations of the formation of a child's personality. When a close environment behaves with it in specific situations in a similar way, the world around it appears to the child as predictable and clear. He will easily understand what is required of him, what is allowed and what is not. It is thanks to this understanding that the child realizes the limits of his own freedom and does not have the desire to go over the line where the rights of others are violated.

For example, accustomed to self-collection onThe child will not, for no reason at all, hysterically demand that he be dressed, laced up with shoes, etc. It is especially important to instill skills necessary for independence, to approve achievements and diligence.

About parental rigor

Often confused is the sequence of nurturing andseverity But these are different concepts. The principles of the upbringing process, based on severity, imply the unconditional subordination of the child to the parental requirements, the suppression of his own will. Consistent style implies the development of the ability to organize one’s own activities, choose the best solution, show independence, etc. This approach enhances children's subjectivity and leads to increased responsibility for one’s own activities and behavior.

Alas, many parents, especially young,distinguishes impatience. They forget or do not realize that the education of the required qualities of character requires repeated and diverse effects. Parents want to see the fruits of their own activities now and immediately. Not every dad and mom understand that the upbringing is conducted not only by words, but also by the whole atmosphere of the parental home.

For example, day after day, children are told aboutaccuracy and the need to keep order in toys and clothing. But at the same time, he daily observes the absence of such an order from parents (dad does not hang things in the closet, but throws them on a chair, mom doesn’t clean the room, etc.) This is a very frequent example of the so-called double morality. That is, from the child requires that which is optional for older family members.

It is necessary to take into account that the immediatethe irritant (the observed picture of domestic disorder) for the baby will always be more relevant than the verbal one (the requirements to remove everything in places), and there is no need to speak about any success in the educational process.

Spontaneous adult "attacks"act on a child disorganizing, loosening his psyche. An example is the visit of a grandmother, who came to visit and who in a short time tried to catch up on everything (in her opinion) in raising her grandson. Either dad, having visited a parent meeting in kindergarten or having read popular literature on pedagogy, rushes at an accelerated pace to “develop” his five-year-old kid, loading him with tasks impossible for that age, teaching chess, etc. Such “assault attacks”, being short-lived , only confusing and do not bear any positive impact.

Principle Five - systematic and comprehensive

What is its essence?It implies the influence of a multilateral character on a growing personality, taking into account the whole system of principles of education, its goals, means and methods. Everyone knows that modern children grow up in a cultural and social environment that is very, very diverse and far from being limited to family boundaries. From a very young age, kids watch TV, listen to the radio, go for walks, and in kindergarten communicate with a large number of very different people. The influence of all this environment on the development of the child can not be underestimated - this is a serious factor in education.

Such a variety of pedagogical influencesIt has both pros and cons. Influenced by the endless flow of information, children receive a lot of interesting information that contributes to their intellectual and emotional development. At the same time, a huge amount of negativity is in their field of vision. TV shows already become familiar scenes of cruelty and vulgarity, the harmful effects of television advertising on children's consciousness is difficult to deny, the child’s dictionary is littered with dubious turns and speech stamps.

What to do?

How can such conditions reduce the destructive influence of such factors? And is it possible in principle?

This is not an easy task, and is hardly complete.feasible, but to reduce (if not completely eliminate) the impact of negative factors is quite within the power of any family. Parents should establish control, for example, watching certain programs on TV, properly interpret many of the phenomena that a baby faces (for example, explain why profanity cannot be used, etc.)

It is important to take certain actions toneutralize the negative impact of the environment. For example, dad can go out into the yard and organize a son’s sport game with peers, thereby switching children's attention from watching television to a useful and healthy activity.

Scientific pedagogy educational processconventionally differentiated into a number of individual species. We are talking about the principles of physical education, labor, moral, mental, aesthetic, legal, etc. But, as is well known, it is impossible to educate a single person “in parts”. That is why in real conditions a child simultaneously acquires knowledge, his feelings are formed, actions are stimulated, etc. That is, there is a diversified development of the personality.

Psychologists say in one voice that (unlikepublic institutions) only the family is capable of the integrated development of children, familiarization with labor and the world of culture. It is with family principles and methods of education that the foundations of children's health and intelligence can be laid, the foundations of aesthetic perception of the world are formed. Therefore, it is especially pitiful that a number of parents lack an understanding of the need to develop all aspects of a child’s personality. Often they see their role in performing only specific educational tasks.

Например, мама и папа могут заботиться о nutrition or engaging in sports, music, etc., or to focus on early education and mental development of children to the detriment of labor and moral education. Very often, we observe a tendency to release a younger child from any household duties and tasks. Parents do not take into account that in order to fully develop, it is necessary to form an interest in work and learn relevant habits and skills.

The sixth principle is consistency.

This is one of the basic principles of education.Among the peculiarities of the impact on modern children is the implementation of this pedagogical process by a number of different persons. These are family members, and professional teachers of an educational institution (teachers, educators, trainers, leaders of circles and art studios). None of this circle of educators can exert their influence in isolation from other participants. Everyone needs to coordinate the goals and content of their own activities, as well as the means of its implementation.

The presence of even small differences in this case.puts the child in a very difficult situation, the output of which requires serious neuro-psychological costs. For example, a grandmother constantly picks up toys for a baby, and parents demand independent actions from him in this matter. Mom requires a five-year-old child to clearly articulate sounds and syllables, while older relatives consider these demands to be exaggerated and believe that with age everything will work out by itself. Such an inconsistency of educational approaches and requirements leads to the loss of a sense of reliability and confidence in the world around.

If parents will adhere to the statedabove the principles and means of upbringing, this will allow them to build up competent activities to guide the cognitive, physical, labor and other activities of children, which leads to the effective promotion of child development.