Finally Time to Take This Step. - Georgia

I've got 34G breasts, and have had problems...

1 Nov 2011

30 days pre

I've got 34G breasts, and have had problems from them for so long. Physically, my upper back and shoulders are always sore. I like to run, but can't run long distances because they bounce. I'm embarrassed, always have been, by the kind of attention they attract. I don't like being unable to wear so many different styles of clothes (at least, not without looking like something R-rated). I've been wanting a reduction for almost 20 years, and it's time.

My surgery is set for 12/2!!! I'm both very excited, but also very scared (risks! complications! the usual and expected amount of pain!). I am a wimp when it comes to dealing with pain.

So I'm still a month away, but I'm becoming more...

7 Nov 2011

25 days pre

So I'm still a month away, but I'm becoming more excited. The last several months, I've obsessed with whether or not this is something I want to do, and now I've made the decision, I really don't feel any ambivalence.

My insurance won't cover it. My doctor won't give me the letter I need to give the insurance company just to get the insurance to cover an initial consultation, because I just don't meet the criteria for getting that letter. She showed me the criteria. Here's what I did wrong:

1. I lost weight. I didn't even intend to do it, but I went from 200 pounds to 160 pounds last year, during a seriously bizarre episode of Irritable Bowel Syndrome (which cleared up incredibly when I went off the birth control pills I'd been on for many years, and quit gluten and dairy). That means smaller boobs. Not as small as I want, but I don't have as much mass to remove as I did before. I've kept the weight off for about a year now, too, with diet and exercise.

2. I went to physical therapy for back pain, and did the exercises religiously. Then I bragged to my doctor about how well it worked. I haven't had an significant documented back pain in the last 3 years! I even asked for some milder muscle relaxants to have on hand for an emergency back spasm, because I don't like to feel dopey, and never had to get them refilled.

3. I bought super expensive bras at Intimacy and the should divots disappeared. Yes, my $200 bras are now specially ordered from Denmark, but I don't have bra strap indentation.

So with all that, if I still wanted to see the doctor I picked out with hopes of insurance coverage, I'd have to put $1000 down first. I went with the free consult instead as a self-pay patient, and he affirmed that insurance would not cover me, after he examined me.

So that's why I'm going to pay out of pocket for this. I'm okay with that. Struggling to get the insurance coverage was emotionally exhausting. I'd rather give up fancy vacations for a couple years, and eat beans and rice for dinner a few times a week (along a few other austerity measures), and have this done for myself.

I dreamed last night that I had the procedure, and...

10 Nov 2011

22 days pre

I dreamed last night that I had the procedure, and was so ridiculously happy to have small boobs. Of course, it was a dream, and weird the way dreams are, but it's nice to know my subconscious is happy about this.

I wonder how it is for people who go for other kinds of plastic surgery. People with breast reductions seem almost universally happy to have done it, so I'm looking forward to that kind of happiness. At the same time, I want to be realistic, and not count on a plastic surgery to make me happy-- does that make sense?

I guess I want realistic expectations. I'm not going to have perfect boobs, and it's not going suddenly make me completely happy with my body. But, I'm still excited.

I've had dreams twice, now, that I've had the...

14 Nov 2011

18 days pre

I've had dreams twice, now, that I've had the surgery, and have been so excited, it's been a let-down to wake up and know I have weeks to go. I still want to manage my expectations so I can be happy with realistic results, of course.

I'm so nervous and excited about this. I still have weeks! Dec 2 just feels very close sometimes, but also very far away!

I don't really have anyone I can talk to about this, so I'm going to use this space to vent. My family is cautiously supportive, but think it's a lot of money. My friends are sort of supportive, but are also really critical of plastic surgery. I spend a lot of time thinking about this, but not really being able to talk it out.

One random thought-- I've spent a lot of money on fancy bras at Intimacy last year. I've barely worn them out, have been so careful to wash them delicately and be gentle with them. Too bad they'll get an early retirement! :)

So I realized it's time to start following...

17 Nov 2011

15 days pre

So I realized it's time to start following pre-surgical instructions, not to take any aspirin, etc., for 2 weeks before surgery. That makes me feel a little freaked out, like this will really happen! I haven't been worrying about risks, etc., but I'm thinking that maybe I'm going to start worrying now. Yikes!

I met with the doctor today to discuss my concerns...

22 Nov 2011

10 days pre

I met with the doctor today to discuss my concerns about his belief that insurance won't cover this. He examined me again and explained that he will only be removing less than 200 grams from each breast, and since I don't have a lot of dense tissue, he doesn't think he could remove more without making me way smaller than I want to be. This puts me under what the Schnur sliding scale requires for BCBS to approve me. Plus, I don't have any documentation of back/neck/shoulder pain in the past 3 years.

A couple years ago, before I lost weight, my boobs were bigger and I might have been able to get covered. But since the weight loss, my problem is more droopiness than volume. To get me to a perky small C cup, I'm really getting more of a lift with some reduction going on.

He offered to take my surgery off the schedule and send me through the process to ask for insurance coverage, but he put the likelihood of approval at 10%, and it would move me back about 6 weeks.

That's good enough information for me. I'm not going to reschedule-- I am full steam ahead!

So here's my supplement regimen leading up to...

23 Nov 2011

9 days pre

So here's my supplement regimen leading up to surgery (writing out to provide the info, and also to get it straight in my head).

Vitamin C, 1000 mg/day for two weeks.

Bromelain with quercetin for three days before the procedure (Tues, Wed, Thurs) and continuing for one week afterwards.

Arnica starting 5 days prior to the procedure (starting Sunday) and continuing for one week afterwards.

Two pills the morning of, for nausea and to settle my stomach.

Percocet and duricef afterwards.

I had my pre-surgical appointment yesterday, and met with several people at the surgical center, had blood drawn and photos taken. I feel comfortable with the location. I also paid (ouch), but I've figured out financing with my credit union, so that's okay.

I'm excited, but also totally freaked out! This is happening!

So this is weird. Maybe once a year, or even more...

28 Nov 2011

4 days pre

So this is weird. Maybe once a year, or even more rarely, I develop a sort of pimple on one of my breasts. Usually, I squeeze at it even though I shouldn't, and it takes a month to heal. (I had acne as a teenager and young adult, but it mostly cleared up when I went on birth control). I am so lucky I don't have scars on my face-- I have cousins who had it much worse.

With the stress of all this, my face broke out last week. Okay, nothing I can do about that. And then Saturday, I see I have one of those blemishes on my boob! How crazy is that?! It's deep, kind of cystic, but something I'm familiar with. These usually happen, and then go away.

What if this causes a problem with the surgery? It's right over my nipple. I *think* it's in the area that will be removed, based on what the doc said, but what if it's along the line of an incision? What if it causes problems with healing, or is a reason to put off the surgery? I can't find anything about this online, anywhere.

One thing's for sure-- for the first time in my life, I have managed not to squeeze/pick at/mess with a blemish. Ugh.

Tomorrow's the day! I'm nervous, excited, scared,...

1 Dec 2011

1 day pre

Tomorrow's the day! I'm nervous, excited, scared, and just want it to be done and over!

I survived! Finally, no more wondering if I ought...

2 Dec 2011

Day of treatment

I survived! Finally, no more wondering if I ought go back out-- it's done!

Very loopy. Pain was bad when I woke up. When I got to recovery room (don't remember this), I was apparently "feisty" and woke up hard/fast like a teenager. That's good, I guess? I remember crying from the pain, getting Demerol shot in the butt, remained in some unhappy pain until I got home, ate a rice cake, and took percocet. Now loopy, but pain at maybe 6 on 1-10 scale, no longer 8-9. Almost time for another pain pill, so if I feel ok at this moment, I can manage it.

Pix later-- standing and being coordinated isn't in my skill set yet. Left nipple is numb, right is not. I've oozed blood onto my walmart pj shirt, so will change dressing after next pain pill and change shirts. This is normal/expected amount of blood, is ok.

Feeling good about this, and want to see the frankenboobs! With this site, I know it will be ugly and that part won't bother me, and I know final shape will be different, but already am pleased at general umprovement in size.

Thank you, ladies, for your fantastic support!

My pain is much more manageable (same day,...

2 Dec 2011

Day of treatment

My pain is much more manageable (same day, evening), maybe a 4 on the 1-10 scale, and sometimes not even noticing it. I am on the max dose for percocet. Will remain at this level, maybe try reducing the percocet tomorrow. I don't like being so dopey. Drowsing in and out.

Very happy with the size they seem to be! Of course, way to early to tell how it will be.

Day 2-- The percocet has been making me very itchy...

3 Dec 2011

1 day post

Day 2-- The percocet has been making me very itchy all over, so I've tried taking it less often. That helps with the itch, but I've got more pain to deal with. Ice helps. I think I like having a clearer head, too. I called my doctor, and he called some lortab in for me. Hopefully, that will do the trick for the next day or so, and then I'll switch to tylenol.

I think that when the swelling goes down, and things sort of settle, I'll be just the right size. I already feel relief along the back of my neck and shoulders. I'm sure the healing process is going to have its ups and downs, but I feel really good about the decision to do this. I look forward to clothes shopping!

Switched from percocet to lortab, which I seem to...

4 Dec 2011

2 days post

Switched from percocet to lortab, which I seem to tolerate better. I look forward to when I can switch to Tylenol, I'm frustrated with how loopy the pain meds make me. The pain is manageable-- this morning, I could have taken pain meds at 2am, but slept until 6am, and the pain was a little too intense for just Tylenol, but only a little.

Long, rambling story short-- feeling better! I hope to shower later today.

Ok, so surgery was Friday morning, and now it's...

4 Dec 2011

2 days post

Ok, so surgery was Friday morning, and now it's Sunday night. I was cleared to shower yesterday, but didn't feel up to it until today. It went fine. There's tape over my incisions, and I tried to let it dry out well before putting clean dressing and the surgical bra back on. The incisions feel really itchy, which is to be expected. They look pretty uniform.

I'm amazed at how firm and perky I am! I know the swelling will go down and they'll soften up, but they're kind of bizarre. I have full sensation in my right nipple, and some sensation, some numbness in the left.

My stomach looks bigger, and I definitely don't have anything like a hourglass shape, now. It's going to take time to get used to my new shape! I think I'll feel better once I'm a few months in.

I don't feel a lot of pain, just some discomfort and itchiness.

I'm feeling cranky, but I kind of expected this....

5 Dec 2011

3 days post

I'm feeling cranky, but I kind of expected this. Too sore to go without pain pills, but so over the side effects that go with them. I should enjoy having this week to rest, but I like being busy. It's going to take some effort to just sit still.

I'm really delighted by the results so far, though. I can't wait to be healed enough to go shopping. Why did I wait so long to do this?

6 days in, and I'm feeling pretty good. I'm still...

7 Dec 2011

5 days post

6 days in, and I'm feeling pretty good. I'm still shaped strange, preternaturally perky (there isn't really a crease under them-- they stick straight out) but it will be several months before they take normal shape.

I don't have much pain, except I wake up around 4am feeling extra sore. I think it's from lying down. I'm still propping myself up (one pillow under my back, two under my head), but maybe that position is just horizontal enough to increase swelling?

I didn't have any drains, so I've had it easy in not having to deal with them. I wonder if I have a smudge more swelling to deal with, though, than I would have if I'd had them.

Right nipple has total sensation, left is numb. It's kind of white-ish, around the areola, but still pink-ish, and really pink in the center, so that seems good.

I tried on a t-shirt today, that used to be very tight. OMG, it looks fantastic on me on now. That makes me so happy!

So I'm generally a wimp when it comes to pain,...

19 Dec 2011

17 days post

So I'm generally a wimp when it comes to pain, which is probably why I've been bothered so much by the pain of this recovery. Last week, at work, I found myself almost in tears (when I was in front of a lot of people and it would NOT be cool to cry), just from trying to soldier through it.

I spent Fri, Sat, and Sun just sitting around at home, and I think I've improved a lot. I'm significantly less sore, and mostly just itchy.

On Fri, I did go to the doctor and get the surgical tape changed. That hurt, but it felt good because it took off a lot of the scabby parts, and I could see the actual incisions.

Sat night, though, I noticed a new little sore, sort of radiating out from the nipple incisions, and it was kind of oozy. It freaked me out. I talked to my doctor Sunday morning, though, and emailed him a photo of it, and he said it's just where my skin was irritated when they removed the surgical tape. It gets neosporin for a couple days. (It's not on the incision, just near it.)

In two weeks, I take off the tape and start massaging the scars with vitamin A&D ointment, and maybe a little vitamin E oil. I mark that as the point where I will start mild exercise (walking), and will try to get back into running in another two weeks. I also want to start watching what I eat (where did that big tummy come from????) but have been feeding myself as well as I can to heal the incisions.

I go back and forth between thinking they're too big, or maybe too little, so I figure they're probably just right! I'll get a better sense of it in a few months, of course! Though it would be nice for them to stay this perky for a while.

4 and a half weeks out, and I'm doing pretty good....

3 Jan 2012

1 month post

4 and a half weeks out, and I'm doing pretty good. I took off the tape at the 4 week mark, and several scabs and stitches remained along the incision. Over the weekend, as I showered and tried to be gentle, the stitches and scabs fell off. There's a spot under my right nipple that's irritated and seems to have a small amount of separation, just a couple millimeters. I'm keeping it covered in ointment per doc's orders, and it is slowly resolving. I probably let the scab on that spot come off too soon.

I know, kinda gross, but I figure it's good to know what's going on with other folks, so you won't be weirded out by what happens to you!

I've shrunk a little, to probably a mid to small C. They are a little smaller than what some people want, I think, but just right for me. I'd rather go through the rest of my life being too small than too big. I can't wait to see what it's like to go for a run now!

The pain had improved dramatically in the last week. I'm only a little sore along the incision. There's still a lot of itching, though.

Almost at 8 weeks, and I'm pretty happy with my...

25 Jan 2012

1 month post

Almost at 8 weeks, and I'm pretty happy with my results. Pain is rare, though I still have soreness along the lower incisions. I definitely have to keep sleeping on my side or back, and after being a stomach sleeper my whole life, it's not comfortable. It's a small concession, though. I catch images of my reflection during the day, and I am so pleased with my new profile!

It took a couple weeks for the open wound at my incision to close up, but it finally did. I'm treating my scars with vitamin E oil. I've got keloiding along some parts of the scars, but it's too early to tell what the scars will look like long term.

It's been about 3 1/2 months now, and I thought...

14 Mar 2012

3 months post

It's been about 3 1/2 months now, and I thought I'd check back in. I am so happy with my perky little boobs!!! I can't begin to explain how nice it is to feel normal in my body. I know I'm not skinny, or whatever, but I just feel so much at home with my shape now.

I am still a little sore around the scars on my sides. I can't sleep on my stomach, and if I sleep on my side, it hurts after a few hours. I am mostly feeling fine the rest of the time. My breasts have even started to feel (ahem, PG rating here) nice to be touched in an intimate context. The numbness on the left nipple is going away, and the feeling is coming back.

I am so happy I did this. I haven't done much bra shopping-- I still feel comfortable in the surgical bra with its wider band. (Or sometimes, no bra at all!!! Woo hoo!!!) I am about a 36 or 38 C.

The weather is getting warmer and I totally want to get a few of those maxi sundresses you can wear with no bra! I tried one on that looked great, except I didn't like the color, so it's time for some shopping!

So I do have scars that are big and red in some places, but I've had scars before that settle down after a year, so I'll wait and see. One nipple is larger than the other. I'm not too worried about that, though. If someone is going to be close enough to see the scars, they're already going to be someone I trust enough to not get weirded out by them.

The doctor is excellent because my boobs look great. I chose him for his surgical skills, not his personality. I did not get any hand-holding, and had several phone calls go unreturned, but no major issues.