'It was kill or be killed': Battered wife reveals why she had to act first in her abusive relationship and her anguish as she seeks forgiveness from her husband's father who cannot understand why his son is dead

Jessica Silva stabbed James Polkinghorne outside her home in 2012

Silva was physically and mentally abused by her husband Polkinghorne

She claims that if she had not acted first she would have been killed

Silva says all she wants from her dead husband's family is 'forgiveness'

Polkinghorne's father cannot understand why she killed his abusive son

Jessica was found guilty of manslaughter but had sentence suspended

Justice Hoeben, who presided over the case, called situation 'exceptional'

Jessica Silva story features on Sunday night's 60 Minutes on Nine Network

Jessica Silva has spoken about why she had to kill her abusive husband and revealed she hopes his family can one day forgive her for what she did.

In a tense interview for 60 Minutes, Silva visits the home of James Polkinghorne's father to explain to him why she had to kill his son.

Michael Usher, the veteran journalist who conducted the interview, has revealed her walked away from the experience 'totally drained and realising that there are a lot of broken people'.

He also admitted that despite all the revelations about his son's abusive ways, Mr Polkinghorne could still not understand why his son was dead.

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Jessica Silva reveals on 60 Minutes that 'my head is just full, I can't live with it, I need forgiveness'

Jessica Silva tells 60 Minutes that if she hadn't stabbed Polkinghorne 'I would have been dead'

On Sunday night, Jessica Silva speaks publicly for the first time about the day, Mother’s Day 2012, when she stabbed and killed her partner, the father of her young son.

Last month she walked free from court, despite being convicted of manslaughter, free to tell of the four years of horror and warning other women not to make the same mistakes.

'That was a very tense meeting (with the father), very nervous, both sides very nervous,' Michael Usher told Daily Mail Australia.

'His family, his father, has had to deal with a lot of anger and hatred.

'He doesn't understand why she had to kill his son, it's only the start of a process, there is no neat ending at all.

Grace and Avalino Silva (Jessica’s parents). He revealed to Michael Usher that the ordeal had so destroyed Jessica that 'I looked into my daughter's eyes and I didn't recognise her'

Jessica Silva admits she was living in fear and violence and she told no one. 'When her mum saw the red marks on her heck she said "it was just a rash", it's brutal and as bad a domestic violence as you could hear'

'During the interview she gets to the point where she reveals "my head is just full, I can't live with it, I need forgiveness".

'I don't know if there will ever be a neat ending.

'Although the violence has stopped, the mental torment is still there, the absolute anguish of having killed the feather of her son, dealing with the family disconnect with her and their grandson, tragic.

'This one person and all of his anger and violence, the impact that he's had it's extraordinary, a lot of broken people who only just now are thinking about a future.

'The thing that made me stop was when she begins recalling the domestic violence she was suffering, it was one of those moments where it was so difficult to put yourself in her shoes.

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'It had all the horrible hallmarks, "you're fat, you're ugly", the belittling of her.

'And then how, this was a big guy, more than 100 kilos of muscle who would pick her up by one hand and throw her across the room.

'She was living in fear and violence and she told no one, when her mum saw the red marks on her heck she said "it was just a rash".

'It's brutal and as bad a domestic violence as you could hear, living in fear then and that she would be going to jail for a very long time.'

Jessica tells her tragic tale of survival for the first time on 60 Minutes this Sunday night, a victim of the worst type of domestic abuse, suffering years of verbal and physical attacks by her partner, James Polkinghorne.

'She tells it in a ridiculously raw, emotional but extremely clear way, she deeply regrets that she ever had to end up in that situation and that it came to that' Michael Usher said of the Jessica Silva interview

Jessica stabbed her boyfriend of four years, five times, after he arrived outside her Marrickville home in Sydney, fuelled on the drug 'ice', the trial judge heard

'On that fateful night, Jessica made a split-second decision to save herself and her family,' according to the 60 Minutes program.

'Jessica opens up about her life with Polkinghorne and recounts what happened the night that ended in his death.'

'I didn't realise that she was going to be as raw as she still was,' Usher added.

'It is the first time she has spoken about it, aside from the police interview, about what happened that night and how she came to be arrested and charged with murder.

'She tells it in a ridiculously raw, emotional but extremely clear way.

'She deeply regrets that she ever had to end up in that situation and that it came to that.

'Yes they got it down to manslaughter, the judge seemed very sympathetic, it was battered wife's syndrome and she has post traumatic stress.

'She hates that she is in the situation, hates that it happened to her family and to his family, she's on a quest.

James Polkinghorne was allegedly carrying this pipe on him when he went to Jessica Silva's house on the night of his death

Jessica Silva was been found guilty of manslaughter after stabbing her partner James Polkinghorne on Mother's Day in 2012 and was given a 2-year suspended sentence. She admitted during the proceedings that 'I thought I could change him'

'She wants forgiveness in the family she finds it hard, it was a case of kill or be killed, she had no doubt that night that she would die.

'It was chilling when she described those moments.'

Usher recalls how her own family found it hard to comprehend.

'Her father tells how "I looked into my daughters eyes and I didn't recognise her".

While Polkinghorne's family is 'dealing with what their son had become'.

The young Sydney woman who stabbed her abusive estranged partner to death on the street only escaped a jail term, after the judge found the killing was done in the most 'extreme circumstances'.

Jessica stabbed her boyfriend of four years, five times after he arrived outside her Marrickville home in Sydney, fuelled on the drug 'ice'.

The 25-year-old domestic violence victim wept after Justice Clifton Hoeben sentenced her to two years' imprisonment. The prison term was suspended on the condition of good behaviour.

Silva pleaded not guilty to her partner's murder on the basis of self-defence, but after five days of deliberation, a jury found her guilty of the lesser charge of manslaughter.

Michael Usher revealed that Jessica's motivation to tell her story to 60 Minutes was to 'send a warning to others, she did everything wrong, that she should have left at the very first sign of violence'

In handing down his sentence, Justice Hoeben said he accepted Silva's comments that Mr Polkinghorne had been 'very abusive'.

'I dealt with it for so long, I thought I could change him,' Silva had said.

While he found Silva did intend to cause Mr Polkinghorne grievous bodily harm when she stabbed him in his back and head, he said the situation was 'exceptional'.

'The factual circumstances are most unusual with the steady build up of fear on the part of the offender arising from the escalating threats of violence emanating from the deceased.

'The offending was committed under extreme circumstances in the agony of the moment.'

During the course of her trial, Silva repeatedly wept in court as the jury heard a series of abusive phone calls and texts sent by Mr Polkinghorne before his death.

In one, Mr Polkinghorne threatened to 'cave her face in'.

Another message, from the day he was stabbed, read: 'I hope your mother gets poisoned by the flowers that you give her and you get gang raped.'

Mr Polkinghorne, the court heard, had become increasingly aggressive due to his use of the drug ice.

Jessica stabbed her boyfriend of four years, five times after he arrived outside her Marrickville home in Sydney, fuelled on the drug 'ice'.

During the course of her trial, Silva repeatedly wept in court as the jury heard a series of abusive phone calls and texts sent by Mr Polkinghorne before his death.

The court heard that Mr Polkinghorne arrived outside Ms Silva's family home on the day he was killed after sending threatening text messages to her phone, months after she had ended their relationship.

Ms Silva said he then punched her and ripped her pants before she ran inside to retrieve a knife with which to defend herself, while he continued to argue with her brother and father outside.

Upon returning to the scene, she stabbed him in the shoulder, chest and back.

Before his death, during a phone conversation between Silva and her brother Miguel, she was heard saying: 'He reckons he's gonna come and kill me, right now’.

When Miguel tells her to call the cops, an increasingly distressed Silva replies: 'Why do you think I don't tell them so he can bash me up all the f***ing time. I'm sick of it ... and I don't know what to f***ing do any more.'

'Is there anyone we can f***ing contact ... to get him killed or something?' she asks, later adding: 'Don't worry I'll f***ing stab him myself'.

'I walked away drained, I really did,' Usher said.

'I have seen a lot of emotion, a lot of events, but the raw emotion was so fragile still, it left me speechless.

'You'll see there are incredibly long pauses as we give her time to talk, it left me drained, sometimes you can put yourself in people in their shoes, but not this time, it was horrific to hear.

'I'm thinking that the amount of women who will watch this and know exactly what she is going through and went through.

'It's a fact that the woman is usually the one who ends up dying.

'But she told it to send a warning to others, she did everything wrong, that she should have left at the very first sign of violence.'