Ladies, I’m reclaiming naptime. Will you join me?

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I worked like a crazy woman, sweat beading and heart rate accelerating. My husband was home on his lunch break, stacking sandwiches and coaxing littles to stay put while apples were chomped and raisins were inhaled. (I’m so in love with him, truly.) I stormed the house with dust spray and cloth, broom and mop, laundry basket and bucket… clearing out the bunnies lurking on and under every surface and moving mountains of towels and t-shirts and tiny cotton socks.

My speed and determination was nothing short of a miracle. (I’m not one of those ladies that likes cleaning, God bless them.)

Forty-five minutes later with wisps of hair stuck to the sides of my damp face I tucked babies into bed and whispered a prayer that they’d rest easy. (And long.)

And then I bathed in it: glorious clean encased in glorious quiet.

Maybe it was extra sweet that day because I was well aware it would only last for fleeting moments before somebody spills milk or stomps dirt or crumbles crackers or scatters dinosaurs. But that day I needed it – to feel a calm around me that could match the calm within.

It was so quiet I dared not sleep – a negligent waste of the alone.

Is it wrong that my favorite time of day is this one – this one quiet and still and utterly alone?

It’s not my favorite moment. That one is morning kisses or “mommy look!” or bedtime prayers or squeals of “daddy’s home!” while running to the door at lightning pace with squabbles left behind.

Yes those are my favorite moments – the ones burned into my memory and sometimes even seared by the click of a shutter or the plink of the keyboard.

But my favorite time? That’s when the babies sleep, the husband works, the phone goes on silent, the email disabled, the notifications turned off, the lists swept aside.

My favorite time is my refill time – refilling my cup and readying me for more of my hard work and, yes, my favorite moments too.

Because the filling comes not only after the emptying but also in the emptying itself, yet my mistake is that I often think the emptying is only the pouring out, the serving. And to serve is noble and needed and never beneath a mother’s radar… but the emptying must also sometimes mean the clearing of the mind and letting go of the burden and releasing of the never-ending must-be-done and relinquishing the agenda.

Sometimes the emptying actually comes within the surrender.

And then there is room to be filled again.

So hear my confession–my declaration–dear, sweet mama-friends who work so hard and labor over loving littles so well: I have no shame in admitting that my favorite time is naptime. And I’m reclaiming it.

I think it’s about time. For everyone’s sake.

Dear friends, I have not been purposeful about refill time for a long time now and my entire life has suffered because of it – mind, body, soul, spirit, and relationships. Since losing Scarlett I’ve begun determining to make changes, build margin like never before, and carve out naptimes for more than BUSY WORK. It’s been a while now and it’s making a huge difference in my life. So are you with me? Want to reclaim naptimes together?? (Not selfishly, but holistically.) Seriously, let’s do this.

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Adriel Booker is a writer, speaker, and advocate. Originally a tree-hugger from Oregon, Adriel and her husband co-lead an inner city missions community and non-profit in Sydney, Australia. She writes about motherhood and parenting, miscarriage and loss, faith and spirituality, social justice and women's issues, and is passionate about politics, the beach, cities, world travel, jazz records, and—of course—emojis. ✌️
Adriel also leads the Love A Mama Collective (our sisterhood projects to empower women in developing nations), The Lovelies (a facebook hangout group), and Our Scarlett Stories (an instagram community for parents who've experienced pregnancy loss). Her first book, Grace Like Scarlett: Grieving with Hope after Miscarriage and Loss, is available at all major retailers.
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I read your blog on a day whe I was wishing that my little one still had a day time nap. There does come a day when they end so hold onto that bliss for as long as you can. The next challenge is finding a way to give your self a break while they are awake that doesn’t involve putting them in front of the tv! That is something I struggle with and instead look forward to the 6.30 bedtime!

I hear you sistah!!! I tell my three year old that nap time is my favourite time of the day… although, I have to confess, naptime means that I don’t leave the room. We all go into our bedroom, and nobody leaves until we’ve all had a sleep or some form of rest. If I don’t sleep, I do yoga and meditate (something I do daily) next to the bed. I rarely do anything else during naptime besides nap with them, meditate or just sit there staring at the wall… cleaning, chores, dishes, laundry, all that I only do when they’re awake, they just bump along with me. We don’t have TV, they don’t get bored, they do all the cleaning with me and that makes nap time my time to chill out too. I’ve been thinking about doing a post on our family naps… maybe now I will 🙂

family nap time is delicious! after i miscarried i HAD to have a nap every day for several weeks. i was so exhausted emotionally and physically and needed the nap to get through the second half of the day. the boys and i almost always snuggled up together and i loved it! now, i’m trying not to sleep so i can do things like read or write while they sleep… but on the days where i need a nap, i definitely go for it! your strategy sounds perfect.Adriel Booker recently posted..Grace like Scarlett

YES. I’ve learned to take every quiet moment I can get {which are fewer around here with a 6 and 4 year old who don’t take naps anymore}. I’ve got to have that solitude where my brain calms down and allows my thoughts to be coherent again.

{Kathy} My children are older and I find myself still in the rhythm of nap time. I was taught as a little girl that naps were sacred and necessary. After lunch, there is a definite swoon of my energy downward and I feel the need to stay still for a little while.
I have given up on staying productive the entire day from dawn until dusk. It’s just not possible. I would rather split my day in to two by having a little rest in the middle.Mothering From Scratch recently posted..5 Ways Moms Can Find Peace

yes, i certainly feel that swoon as well. i think it’s great that you’ve kept up rest time even though your kids are older. are your kids still at school then?Adriel Booker recently posted..Circus Birthday Party (Judah’s first birthday)

Are you kidding me?! I have NO shame admitting that I am “selfish” and love not only naptime, but grocery store time, gym time, sleep in when the grandparents take the kids time…the list goes on! 😉Lisa @bitesforbabies recently posted..Bye-Bye “Bottomless Pit!”

Adriel, thank you so much for this. You have put into words something I have been feeling so much but struggled to verbalize it. This post brought tears to my eyes. Like you I adore my children, the life that The Lord has blessed me with but also like you, I crave quiet, order, rest.
Much gratefulness!
Anna

I love this. I am so grateful for my kids nap/quiet time. The hardest thing for me, since becoming a mom and a wife, is that I don’t get much alone time. I thrive on having time alone. With no one around. Quiet. And too often lately, I don’t use that time wisely. I stay plugged in and before I can get around to getting off Facebook, I realize the girls are up and the afternoon is before me and I did nothing to recharge my battery.

I think it’s an important distinction…the difference between your favorite time and your favorite moments. And I totally agree.Jessica recently posted..Gray, summer days.

yes, i’m right there with you. a big turn-around for me was unplugging during that time. or at least setting myself a timer – 15 min on pinterest, 10 min on facebook, or whatever. i realized that the screen time – though relaxing – wasn’t actually refreshing. big difference! now i make sure to do things that refresh and for me that is mostly reading or writing. i’ve also turned off notifications on my social media. that’s cut my time-wasting waaaaay back and i’ll probably never turn them on again!!!! #gamechangerAdriel Booker recently posted..Grace like Scarlett

Yes! I am with you! I can not make it without my daily naps. I don’t know how I did without them before, but I’ve learned that to stay sane and happy, I need them. I am not nearly as “productive” as I once was, or “productive” beyond what I do as a mother, but I’m okay with that. It’s taken me a while to get here, but I feel so much better now that I’m here.

p.s. Taking naps is one reason I’ve been horrible with keeping up with dear blogging friends like you. 🙁 While online very little, I do think of you often!Jessica recently posted..The Kind of Woman I Am

I totally relate. I think there was a period of having babies where we still tried to live like we did before WHILE also taking care of them. Now we’re just settling in more and learning how to do this whole parenting thing a little better – for their sake and their own! No more cramming everything into nap times! Hope you’re well Jessica! xoAdriel Booker recently posted..Circus Birthday Party (Judah’s first birthday)

Welcome. I'm so glad you're here. My name is Adriel and I’m all about telling stories of truth, discovery, and redemption. My husband and I lead an inner city missions community in Sydney, Australia and I'm the founder and lead advocate of the Love A Mama Collective (empowering girls and women in the developing world). I'm also the author of Grace Like Scarlett: Grieving with Hope after Miscarriage and Loss. I absolutely love helping people connect their passion and purpose as they discover the goodness of God, and I hope my words here will always inspire you to see the beauty around you and within you, even when life feels a little broken.