Dial-a-deal Double Talk

Yet Another Phone Rate To Figure Out

There is a reason that I have not shopped around for the best phone deal: Saving a few bucks wasn't worth the hassle.

But then the latest pitch caught my attention. This creature occupied a niche so narrow, so confusing and so technical that I deemed it worthy of a dip of my big toe into the free market of phone service. It was a mind-expanding exercise, not a penny-pinching one.

The service in question: local long distance, a peculiar terrain that starts 15 miles from my home and ends at the long-distance border.

Now, in case you didn't know (can't imagine why not), for years, customers have had their choice of companies to provide this service, but only by dialing a special access code in their search for a better rate.

But starting April 7, most Illinois customers will be able to pre-select which phone service they want for local long distance. No more access codes.

Hurrah!

I delivered my speech to Ronnie in MCI's customer service department.

"I am trying to find out the best deal for me . . . (for) that phone service market between local and long distance."

Ronnie: "You mean local long distance."

Me: "Is that what you call it?"

Ronnie: "Is that what you mean?"

Me: "I don't know, is that what I mean?"

Ronnie: "Must be."

Me: "So what are your rates?"

Ronnie: ". . . It is comparable to other companies that offer the service.. . . In fact, more than likely, we're better than other companies."

The peppy AT&T representative, with a name that sounded something like Ms. Sulka, couldn't give me an example of just what would constitute a call into this hazy phone ozone.

Instead, Ms. Sulka offered that although she lives in Georgia, she originally was from Indiana, and she travels through my area all the time.

"There's a place, it starts with an "H . . ."she said.

"Harvey?" I offered. "Highland Park?"

"Yeah, maybe that's it."

"My brother lives in Highland Park," I said hopefully, wondering whether his home was in the target area.

She checked. It wasn't. I hung up.

Sweet-talking Monica at Ameritech confirmed that "local long distance" begins 15 miles from my home. But who has a mileage conversion chart along with his phone directory?

Monica declared that Highland Park was indeed in this phone niche that she called "Band C calling."

Eureka!

But to find out the cost to place that call, I was transferred to Veronica, who purred like Kathleen Turner.

After nine minutes of weighty sighs and some flute music, she breathed out an answer: "Point oh-three-five. That means 35 of one cent. For one minute. On average of a 10-minute call."

With that, I gave up.

The phone companies promise that rate-comparison programs will be ready any day now. Marketing blitzes are being planned. Everyone says the added competition is good for customers.