Category: Wellness

I’ve challenged myself to pick up my reading habit again. I enjoy writing but reading eases my mind better than any other activity. Reading inspires me. Since I am always searching for writing inspiration, reading is what I shall do.

I don’t aspire to be some self-help guru, but I like that some people actually value my advice. Well, sometimes I need to hear such advice from other sources too. My last reading spell involved suspense novels, but my latest purchases fall within the “self-help” genre.

Work has been super busy lately. Due to such madness, writing has become more of a challenge–this is my first busy season since starting this blog–but I am intent on finding a balance. I ask in advance that you forgive me for any gaps between my blog posts as I work to find my way.

~ Keesh

Having become so caught up in my job, I am reminded daily of how difficult writing can be. Before starting this post, I brainstormed in search of inspiration. The biggest problem I have is that when I answer the question “What are you thinking?”, I find that I spend a lot of time not thinking at all.

After dealing with customers for hours, it seems that my mind is set on finding peace in nothingness. Have you ever driven from work and had no recollection of what the drive was like? I mean, you’ve made it from point A to point B but you have absolutely no idea as to how you got there. This is how my day-to-day thinking works sometimes. I go to work and give my customers every bit of my energy and attention. When I get home, I don’t give my brain the attention it needs.

Blogging was meant to help exercise my brain, but this wasn’t always the case. Before starting my current job, I buried myself in books because reading was such brain stimulation. Well, I’ve decided to go back to where I started and get my reading mojo back. Instead of reading my usual novels of suspense and drama, I’ll be taking a different approach.

My current mission is to adopt a healthier mindset. I want to better position myself for success and I know that the proper mindset is essential to making it happen–where the head goes, the body follows. WORK. READ. BLOG. This shall be my life for the next few months. I’m looking forward to the peace that reading gives me and I’m sure it will inspire my writing.

Recently, during one of my thought sessions, I thought about how much of life is based on cause and effect. I came to a bold realization: We don’t make mistakes, we make choices. (Yes, bold statement.) There are forces of nature that just a cause things to happen, of course these things are out of our control, but most of our lives can be chalked up to choices–this applies to both positive and negative experiences. I don’t know about you, but in being honest with myself, I can think of so many things in my life that could’ve been different had I just made a different decision.

Owning your decision-making is an ugly process. I mean, who wants to admit that they’re wrong? Admitting fault is a touchy thing, but it’s real. Saying “I made a mistake” sometimes sounds like a cop-out. Yes we’re imperfect. Yes we do things that make no sense. So many times we certainly misplace blame. I think that the more honest we are ourselves about how much power we have over the outcome of our lives, thethe morebetter better off we will be. It’s easy to blame someone else for why something has happened to us; it’s not easy to reconcile with the fact that we’ve made a poor decision. You can’t fix anything if you’re not honest enough to identify a problem. Well, if you’re not honest enough to realize that you’ve repeatedly made poor choices, then how can you become better at making the right choices?

I’ve put myself through so much unnecessary foolishness all because I made foolish choices. While some would blame others, I knew to blame myself. I STILL make stupid choices, but being honest about that has helped me move in better directions and avoid much more grief and heartache. This post is a representation of my thought process through it all. I’m learning to empower myself to create the life I want.

Here’s my challenge to you: Sit down and reflect on your own life.

How many times have you made things unnecessarily hard on yourself? How many times have you blamed others when the power was all in your hands? Do you TRUST yourself to make good choices? It can be painful, but the honesty can certainly help. Own your bad choices, and strive to make better ones in the future. You have more power over your life than you could ever realize.

I have some of the WORST habits. It’s not even the bad habits that are the problem, I seem to have the hardest time breaking them. I mean, I recognize them and may even know the fix for them, but I’ve failed in the execution. My bad habits are like a giant Pokeball–I’m getting captured all over the place. I may manage to break free from said Pokeball, but those habits are like, “Nah”.

Well, that’s all about to change. I realize now that I’ve been going about this all wrong! I’m going to have to employ the “divide and conquer” approach. Sometimes the solution isn’t to cut bad habits cold turkey, you have to create little good habits that will chip away at your bad habits. The end goal is to have turned those little good habits into bigger, permanent good habits and have those bad habits shrink and fall away.

Here are a few of the bad habits that irk my nerves (in no particular order):

Procrastinator: Master Level

I’ll get that thing done. One of these days. I really don’t mean to put things off, but when I get into that procrastinating mode, nothing is safe.

The Heavy-Duty Snoozer

Oh. So that alarm thought I was just gonna get outta bed and hit the showers huh? I’m straight up disrespectful when it comes to alarms. Even with having 4 alarms set–mostly to accommodate my snoozing needs–I still find a way to inch past them all so that I can get up at the very last possible minute.

Ashy Keshia

I love lotion. I keep plenty of lotion. Unfortunately, I never take/make time to lotion my actual body. I mean, maybe if I could stop snoozing so damn long. The only parts of my body that actually make the cut every day are my arms. I need to get it together. I don’t need this black to crack.

Sleep Fighter

I already know that insomnia is my arch nemesis, yet I seem to love to help it out by not getting to bed when I KNOW I could actually go to sleep. I just HAVE to occupy myself with something else instead. This one is good and bad, because it’s how I get a lot of my posts written (or at least started) but I know I need to be getting more sleep.

Blowing All The Monies

Look, when it comes to food I’m either gonna spend none of the money, or I’m gonna spend ALL of the money. There is no in-between. There is no try; only spend. If there’s food on the line, my swipe game has no bounds. Even chip reader can’t slow me down. Don’t make me break out my Apple Pay. My bank account has PLENTY bounds, but the food just calls to me.

Some of my bad habits are milder than others–this is also just a short list. When it came to my wine habit, I was better able to change that habit because I knew it was a BAD thing. I took time to understand WHY I was drinking so much and I made the changes. I need to work on my mindset in relation to these other bad habits too. I CAN break them, I HAVE to break them. Anything that is slowing me down and keeping me from doing the things I need to be doing to get ahead needs to be completely cut out. There are SO many things I’ve never finished because of these stupid habits. This can’t continue!

Mindset really is everything. Maybe I have no energy because my thoughts haven’t been energetic. Thismost recent rut came after a period of super productivity and positivity. I must turn that switch back on–it felt so much better than the alternative.

Bad habits are always going to be hard to break if you keep telling yourself that. Change the conversation.

I’ve been having a hard time keeping up with my blog and everything else these days. Either I’m working my real job, or I’m struggling to get through a day off.

A typical day off of work these days goes as follows:
I wake up around 9am, ready to have a productive day. Even though I’m awake, I haven’t actually gotten out of bed. The next thing I know, I find myself waking up again 2 hours later. I feel bad about wasting the day, so I get up and shower. I head to the living room so I can be away from my bed.

I turn on the tv. I don’t have time to watch much during the work days, so I kinda binge on the days off. I still tell myself that productivity is on the menu–I at even begin working on something. The next thing I know, I’m waking up for falling asleep AGAIN. The cycle of me going in and out of sleep continues throughout the day.

Finally, it’s time for bed. I find myself fighting to stay awake-I don’t even think it is intentional. Because I just happen to be awake, I make an effort to have some late night productivity. Most times, I don’t get anywhere at all.

Needless to say, the whole situation is frustrating as hell. I have periods where I sleep “normally” and am not awake past midnight. It’s still hard to wake up and get my day started, but I’ve at least had sleep.

I’m over it.

I’m tired of the back and forth cycles. I had to get to the bottom of the cause of my sluggishness and insomnia. I’ve always had insomnia issues, but that can’t be the sole reason for my sluggish behavior. If I weren’t getting up to go to work, I’m pretty sure that I would be home just going in and out of sleep and being mad at myself. I know that diet and exercise can play a huge role, so I’m resolving to see what natural things I can. My productivity is suffering considerably and something must change.

I feel like I’m always talking about how important it is to have a positive outlet.

The very existence of this blog is a testament to what happens when you find such an outlet. Outlets are necessary because they feed our need for purpose and identity while allowing us to relieve tension. No one is exempt from unhappiness, but when we’re able to channel that negative energy elsewhere, we can have a better quality of life. There’s no denying the positive effects of an outlet, but the question still remains:

How do you FIND your outlet?

Whenever people ask me that question, they usually follow it up by telling me that they’re not good at anything. I don’t believe that–everyone is good at something and can become even better with practice. Sometimes it’s not so much about what you’re good at, but about what you enjoy doing. Maybe a creative outlet isn’t your thing. Maybe you’re meant to spend more time channeling your energy into something you already enjoy doing. For example, You may not be a writer, but you enjoy the relaxation of reading a book. Your outlet can be reading. Your outlet removes you from your stressors.

Before I started this blog, the only thing I knew for sure was that people enjoyed my commentary. I didn’t see myself as a writer or artist, I didn’t think that I was some kind of guru. All I knew was that I was stressed to capacity, and I loved how relaxing it was to run my fingers across a computer keyboard. I knew that I enjoyed writing and wanted to be heard, but I was no expert. (I’m still no expert haha.)

Even though I had an idea of what my abilities were, I don’t think I could’ve really settled on an outlet had it not been for the input of others. If you don’t know what you’re good at, maybe it’s because you’re too close to see it. Ask your friends. Ask your family. Ask your coworkers. You’d be surprised what others see in you. Sometimes, you may not be surprised, you may just need that extra vote of confidence.

My point is this:Don’t waste time telling yourself what you can’t do. Instead, actively search for the activity that will bring you peace and purpose.

P.S.

Maybe you’ve read all of this and you’re thinking,“I already know what I’d LIKE to do, I just don’t know HOW to do it”. If this is the case, you likely need a brain trust–someone to bounce ideas off of so that you can refine those that stick.

I’m more than happy to help you sort things out! Click here to get started on finding your outlet!

I know that some people think it’s tacky to talk finances, but oh well. Money is a main character in this saga. This is a funny story involving myself, and 99 cents. Enjoy.

I am currently testing out the iOS 10 Beta on my iPhone 6s. Because I know that I’m dealing with the beta version of a new software, I had already mentally prepared myself before initiating the download process. While at work one day, I was suddenly notified that my iClod storage was almost full. I thought to myself, “This can’t be right. I have 50gb!”–I brushed it off. Moments later, I’m notified again. This time, I vow to contact Apple because I just KNOW that this is some kind of beta-related bug. It wasn’t until a few hours later that it hit me.

I didn’t have 99 cents.

In fact, I had 76 cents to my name until payday. Because I didn’t have 99 cents, Apple was unable to withdraw the 99 payment for my storage. Maaaaan, if you could have seen my face when this all clicked in my head…I laughed until the cows came home and took a nap. All I could do was laugh. I laughed because I thought of how dumb I would’ve sounded had I called Apple with that foolishness. I laughed because the reasoning that I used before purchasing the 50gb of iCloud storage was that I’d always have 99 cents–yet there I was. No dollar, no cloud. I laughed because there was nothing I could do about it.

The moral of this story? I don’t know if really have a specific moral. What I CAN say is that it is SO important to not dwell on things that are beyond your control at the time. I wasn’t down to my last 76 cents because I had been out having a gay old time and blowing money, but because of responsibility. I knew that I just had to be patient and wait because there was nothing else that I could do. I can assure you, you will lose your mind worrying about things that are out of your hands.

I could afford to lose my iCloud; I can always buy more storage. My sanity? My ability to keep a grip on life? That’s something I can’t afford to lose–especially over 99 cents.

Before I started my current job, I had been on a roll with losing a bit of weight and maintaining that weight. After having worked in my current position for a few months, I found myself getting back to my old weight (and then some). I was, as people say, “eating good”. When you’re in a position where you’re making better money, it’s easy to get comfortable in your position and financial standing. You go from “eating good” to “eating TOO good”.

I have a love/hate relationship with comfort. On one hand, I want to be comfortable enough that I am free of worry about how my bills will be paid, and whether or not I can keep a job. On the other hand, I don’t want to be missing out on something because I’m too comfortable to reach for it. I don’t want to be so comfortable that I lose my hunger for growth. I firmly believe that you can unintentionally stunt your growth. I’ve come to realize that what I really want is STABILITY.

I feel like I live my life on the edge of “life is good” and “panic mode: activate”. Whenever I get a bit comfortable in my lifestyle, something happens to shake me up and make me change focus. Recently, I was shaken in a way that left me in a mental panic mode. I didn’t know what to do next, but I knew that I needed to do something. I was forced to tap into my entrepreneurial talents. I was forced to learn new things about myself. I was forced to grow beyond my struggle.

When you’re hungry, you’re not going to sit back and starve to death. At the same time, if you’re comfortable with your life as it is, you’re less likely to make it a point to pursue things that can contribute to your growth. The key is stability, not comfortability. Continue to strive for a position in life where you’re stable in your physical and mental environments, but don’t forget to push yourself for growth beyond that comfort zone. Push yourself towards greatness. Don’t rob yourself of opportunities for the sake of being comfortable.

Have you found yourself stuck in a rut of complacency? How have you pushed yourself towards growth? I’d love to know your thoughts on the matter. Leave a comment below.

Synergy: the interaction of elements that when combined produce a total effect that is greater than the sum of the individual elements, contributions, etc.; synergism

In my post “Maintenance Check“, I talk about how important it is to take care of your mind and body so that you’re able to do your very best for yourself and others. One of the ways that I maintain my own sanity is by meeting up with a friend at Starbucks and conjuring up plans on how to take over the world. Well, we’re not planning to take over the WHOLE world, but we certainly work on ways to make change in our own worlds, bringing change for others in return. My condition last week was that of a complete mess, and the one thing that gave me hope in the midst of such trying times was my meetup. I left the meeting feeling recharged, ready to tackle anything. Why was I in such a state of euphoria? The answer is simple: synergy.

There’s something to be said about the magic that happens when two people, who are working towards a common goal, come together for a meeting of minds. When I agreed to meet up, I had no real agenda–usually I do–I just wanted to get out of the house and clear my mind of its troubles. Throughout our meeting, it was as if we were operating on the same frequencies. I went from no agenda at all, to pages full of ideas and self-assigned projects. I was amazed at how much my mood had improved and how productive I was able to be in that moment. It reminded me of how we all need each other’s energy. Because we need energy from others, it’s imperative that we are careful of what energies we surround ourselves with.

What is it that you want to pursue? What goals do you want to accomplish? Do you feel like you’re at a standstill and are unsure of where to start? Maybe you need someone with whom you can brainstorm, someone who is able to help you tap into the great ideas that you simply haven’t realized yet. You think Captain Planet could’ve been anything without the combination of the Planeteers’ powers?? How could the Power Rangers have defeated their major enemies if they hadn’t combined their Dinozords to make the mighty Megazord?

Don’t give up on your ideas just because you aren’t able to visualize the final product right now. Join forces with someone who’s of the same mindset and wants success for you. You’ll be surprised at what can be accomplished. Two heads really are better than one.

You can’t do anything for anyone else if you’re not in good condition yourself. The past week had been such a whirlwind for me, emotionally and physically, that I had to take a break from everything. I hadn’t been sleeping too well and my body was really beginning to feel it. I was at a point where my condition had put a block on my ability to do anything creatively, so there was no way that I could complete a post. Now I feel like I’m back to my old self, and I’ve been able to reflect on how important it was to take the time.

Selflessness can be a great thing. It’s a trait that allows many people to be of help to others. While it’s admirable to be selfless in terms of your generosity towards others, it’s not cool to neglect yourself. It’s easy to feel like you’re wasting valuable time on yourself, but there’s nothing wrong with maintenance time. You are just as valuable as anyone else that you plan to help. TAKE. TIME. FOR. YOURSELF.

I’m not “high maintenance” by any stretch of the imagination. It doesn’t take much for me to make it from one day to the next. I don’t require much, and I ask for even less. When I mention “maintenance time”, I don’t mean that you have to go out and throw away money on your physical appearance. I’m talking about the kind of maintenance that will keep your body AND mind going. Sleep. Eat. Reflect.

Make sure that you’re getting proper sleep–your body and mind will be ever grateful. Running around on autopilot is helpful to no one because there’s no way that you’re able to give your complete focus. Along with sleep, you also need to eat regularly. I am very guilty of forgoing food because I’m trying to get something else done. Don’t do it to yourself, you’re missing out on that extra fuel. Lastly, make quiet time for yourself. Take time to reflect and work through the jumbles of your mind. The more you pay attention to what’s going on in your mind, the more in-tune you can be, and the more clarity you will find. Writing is how I reflect–whether it be for a blog post or just to get some ideas down. You’re not able to work through any of your troubles unless you take the time to reflect and find out what they are.

I’m not impressed by bragging about how much I can do while neglecting myself and I have no intentions of doing so. I’m learning to take care of myself. I’m learning that I can’t put my own well-being on hold just so I can work on an assortment of different projects. I recognize that I am no good to anyone unless I am good to myself.