My New Years Resolution!

January 4, 2015

I always get excited when a new year starts. It gives me a clean slate, so to speak. I get an urge to organize and clean out everything that has been piling up over the year. This is my one simple resolution that I will accomplish.

On that note, I thought I would write down a few resolutions for other people. Yes, I am a little controlling.

For those of you who insist on wearing your pajamas and fuzzy slippers shopping, don’t. Rolling out of bed and going straight to the food market is gross, and besides, I am usually the one you are standing in front of when you check out. You obviously didn’t take a shower, so you smell.

No one admits that they are a bad driver, but please, if you have been told that you are, stay off the roads during my drive time. I would like to not have any fender benders, or worse, for the whole year. No! For the rest of my life.

Please, people, if you use “like” before and after every other word, don’t do that anymore. It is annoying and makes you sound like an idiot.

And while I am on that subject, there are a few overused words that surely can be deleted from your vocabulary: selfie, twerking, hashtag, amazing and Obamacare. They are not needed in your conversation, especially if you are over 21 and an educated professional.

Ok, ladies, everyone knows you bought your boobs, but do you have to show off your cleavage constantly? Put some clothes on or stay home.

And,ladies, please leave your spandex and yoga pants at your exercise place. When in doubt, check out your rear in a mirror. It’s not a pretty sight.

As far as the Hollywood weirdos, I have a few suggestions:

*Miley Cyrus should keep her tongue in her mouth where God intended it.

*The Kardashians should throw out their phones and realize they are a disgusting group of @#$% and not good role models for all those kids they have. Oops! Did I say that?

And, lastly, in my humble opinion, Bill Cosby should be a man and come clean with the truth.