Brad Pitt Throws Like a Girl

Nobody gets everything in life. You got the A-list movie career, the hot wife who is only half crazy with self-mutilation and third world adoptions, and the adoration of millions of fans. Men want to be you, women want to be with you. You’ve succeeded simply by being super fucking charming. The world is your god damned oyster, except, you throw like a girl. And you’re standing next to Drew Brees. He throws like a man. You’re girl tossing a brew over to Matthew McConaughey. Matthew’s the epitome of male and his dad played for the Packers, so he’s likely got some decent ball skills. Here you are under-handing a 12-oz can like you’re tossing a sweater to Tammy to pack for the debutante picnic. God simply doesn’t want anybody to be perfect.