Settling 8 wk old

To date I have been feeding LO on on demand and using any means necessary to get her to sleep in the day time (sometimes she falls asleep when feeding, other times it's in the pram or front pack (carrier)). My attempts at putting her to bed when showing tired signs have so far resulted in screaming that patting and shushing don't fix (and to be honest at that point i just pick her up and go for something else). My question for you ladies is how have you gone about teaching LO to self settle and when? Do I just need to be more persistent? Tia

To date I have been feeding LO on on demand and using any means necessary to get her to sleep in the day time (sometimes she falls asleep when feeding, other times it's in the pram or front pack (carrier)). My attempts at putting her to bed when showing tired signs have so far resulted in screaming that patting and shushing don't fix (and to be honest at that point i just pick her up and go for something else). My question for you ladies is how have you gone about teaching LO to self settle and when? Do I just need to be more persistent? Tia

I always swaddled my children. If I caught the first tired signs. Eye rub, little cry, I would swaddle straight away and pop the dummy in. Sometimes they would go to sleep on their own, usually I would rock them. I didn't let them self settle till 4 months. Then I would do the same as above and it worked! (for us anyway, every baby and family is different of course). GL

I always swaddled my children. If I caught the first tired signs. Eye rub, little cry, I would swaddle straight away and pop the dummy in. Sometimes they would go to sleep on their own, usually I would rock them. I didn't let them self settle till 4 months. Then I would do the same as above and it worked! (for us anyway, every baby and family is different of course). GL

I have a 3 week old and fell into a really bad pattern, feeding to sleep, most sleeps only lasting an hour, baby crying constantly. We had a mothercraft nurse spend the day with us yesterday and it's really helped. We unswaddle to feed (max feeding time 1 hour, I bf), the we have a good burp, change nappy, and have a cuddle in my lap until I see the first yawn (pretty much happens straight away at this point). I then swaddle and rock rhythmically, while saying "shush" over and over, once he's drifted off he goes in his cot with my hands on him until I'm sure he's asleep. Also, he needs to have a good feed so if he falls asleep on the job I gently wake him up with a little stroking. The whole process is a little intense, but it's working, and as he gets older we'll introduce play time and put him to bed a little more awake. Cannot recommend mothercraft nurses enough!!

I have a 3 week old and fell into a really bad pattern, feeding to sleep, most sleeps only lasting an hour, baby crying constantly. We had a mothercraft nurse spend the day with us yesterday and it's really helped. We unswaddle to feed (max feeding time 1 hour, I bf), the we have a good burp, change nappy, and have a cuddle in my lap until I see the first yawn (pretty much happens straight away at this point). I then swaddle and rock rhythmically, while saying "shush" over and over, once he's drifted off he goes in his cot with my hands on him until I'm sure he's asleep. Also, he needs to have a good feed so if he falls asleep on the job I gently wake him up with a little stroking. The whole process is a little intense, but it's working, and as he gets older we'll introduce play time and put him to bed a little more awake. Cannot recommend mothercraft nurses enough!!

I've found with my girls that consistency & timing is really important. As soon as your LO shows signs of being tired you need to act fast. I find that even if I wait 5-10 min she gets really unsettled & then it takes longer for her to sleep. I think swaddling & dummies help to. Once I put her down I don't pick her up but if she cries I always go in & comfort her while she's in her bassinet. We've been doing this consistently & she now fall asleep almost immediately.

I've found with my girls that consistency & timing is really important. As soon as your LO shows signs of being tired you need to act fast. I find that even if I wait 5-10 min she gets really unsettled & then it takes longer for her to sleep. I think swaddling & dummies help to. Once I put her down I don't pick her up but if she cries I always go in & comfort her while she's in her bassinet. We've been doing this consistently & she now fall asleep almost immediately.

There's a big difference between 3 and 8 weeks IMO. Before 6 weeks he slept so easily. At 6 weeks my LO 'woke up' and now at almost 16 weeks I have given up trying to settle him into a pattern that suits me where he's in his cot. He sleeps on me for naps (carrier or while i watch a movie/read) and we cosleep at night. He's too keen to be up learning new things. At first he was probably overtired but now he's getting heaps of sleep so I figure it's just him at this point. He needs mummy so that's what he'll get.

Apparently I was the same but my mum had to hold me upright the whole time. I'm glad my LOs not that bad! (Her next baby, my brother, was a great sleeper but a terrible toddler so it can happen to anyone).

Anyway that doesn't really help the OP. I think if you want to follow a routine go for it, it might help, but if you're like me and don't like that idea so much go with your instincts. I seriously mucked up my LOs night sleep following someone else's ideas instead of doing what I felt was right.

There's a big difference between 3 and 8 weeks IMO. Before 6 weeks he slept so easily. At 6 weeks my LO 'woke up' and now at almost 16 weeks I have given up trying to settle him into a pattern that suits me where he's in his cot. He sleeps on me for naps (carrier or while i watch a movie/read) and we cosleep at night. He's too keen to be up learning new things. At first he was probably overtired but now he's getting heaps of sleep so I figure it's just him at this point. He needs mummy so that's what he'll get.

Apparently I was the same but my mum had to hold me upright the whole time. I'm glad my LOs not that bad! (Her next baby, my brother, was a great sleeper but a terrible toddler so it can happen to anyone).

Anyway that doesn't really help the OP. I think if you want to follow a routine go for it, it might help, but if you're like me and don't like that idea so much go with your instincts. I seriously mucked up my LOs night sleep following someone else's ideas instead of doing what I felt was right.

I think persistence is the key and changing strategies all the time doesn't lead to that. Like other posters once going through the routine of feeding etc I would put DD in her cot and would pat and shush her even if she cried and I would continue. I would time it and it never was any longer than 30 mins - never - but it often felt like an hour. I would envisage (but it never happened as I noted above) if it seriously went past 30 mins then something else would have been wrong - reflux/another dirty nappy woteva ...IMO the worst thing you can do is throw technique after technique at a kid unless you have really tried one and it has failed - because it doesn't matter how old the child is - it continues to get different sensations (in a cot/on mum's chest/rocking) and depending on its mood that instant it may sleep in that manner but that is just anecdotal evidence. I really think a baby can successfully sleep in a bed of some kind - (of course unless some medical reason why not) and if your choice of a bed is a cot then persistence and consistency should achieve sleeps in that bed. In hindsight tho despite this...I am definitely going to let this second baby have more ad hoc snuggles on me but during the day only - as I was so caught up in the bed routine with my 2 year old (ensuring she always slept in her cot) that I feel I missed those snuggles.

I think persistence is the key and changing strategies all the time doesn't lead to that. Like other posters once going through the routine of feeding etc I would put DD in her cot and would pat and shush her even if she cried and I would continue. I would time it and it never was any longer than 30 mins - never - but it often felt like an hour. I would envisage (but it never happened as I noted above) if it seriously went past 30 mins then something else would have been wrong - reflux/another dirty nappy woteva ...IMO the worst thing you can do is throw technique after technique at a kid unless you have really tried one and it has failed - because it doesn't matter how old the child is - it continues to get different sensations (in a cot/on mum's chest/rocking) and depending on its mood that instant it may sleep in that manner but that is just anecdotal evidence. I really think a baby can successfully sleep in a bed of some kind - (of course unless some medical reason why not) and if your choice of a bed is a cot then persistence and consistency should achieve sleeps in that bed. In hindsight tho despite this...I am definitely going to let this second baby have more ad hoc snuggles on me but during the day only - as I was so caught up in the bed routine with my 2 year old (ensuring she always slept in her cot) that I feel I missed those snuggles.

PS- my psych actually recommended I attend tresillian day school with my 6 week old (cos he thought I might b struggling) and I think my DD was just a good sleeper because of her personality and her size (large - always full of food) - but we were in a room of 6 of us with our babies and other mothers were really am struggling and in those 3 hours I saw a complete stranger - the tresillian nurse manage to settle each and every one of those babies - no matter what - using the same technique - it was quite magical. Some babies did struggle but all succumbed and it was all due to relentless persistence and calm (something I seem to lack but am pushed by my DH to practice and practice).

PS- my psych actually recommended I attend tresillian day school with my 6 week old (cos he thought I might b struggling) and I think my DD was just a good sleeper because of her personality and her size (large - always full of food) - but we were in a room of 6 of us with our babies and other mothers were really am struggling and in those 3 hours I saw a complete stranger - the tresillian nurse manage to settle each and every one of those babies - no matter what - using the same technique - it was quite magical. Some babies did struggle but all succumbed and it was all due to relentless persistence and calm (something I seem to lack but am pushed by my DH to practice and practice).

@ darret, I'd had friends say the same thing about enjoying those ad hoc snuggles, so I've just gone with the flow for the first 8 weeks, but yes, while I don't think I'll be a strict routine person, I was thinking it's time to start having some settling consistency for daytime naps when we're not out and about.
Thanks all for the tips

@ darret, I'd had friends say the same thing about enjoying those ad hoc snuggles, so I've just gone with the flow for the first 8 weeks, but yes, while I don't think I'll be a strict routine person, I was thinking it's time to start having some settling consistency for daytime naps when we're not out and about.
Thanks all for the tips

Thanks very much LouAndDougie. There's not much here (that I'm aware of) except Ellen Barron Centre (a 5 day residential 'sleeping school' part of Child Health). I'm on the waiting list for that but prob won't get in till January!

Thanks very much LouAndDougie. There's not much here (that I'm aware of) except Ellen Barron Centre (a 5 day residential 'sleeping school' part of Child Health). I'm on the waiting list for that but prob won't get in till January!

I definitely recommend a few sleep associations - we would out dd in a sleeping bag, swaddle her arms over the top, and she had a comforter that we put near her face from around 8 wks. She would fight the swaddle as we wrapped her, but her eyes would shut almost instantly once she was secure! After a couple of weeks she started really nuzzling into the comforter, now at 7 months she grabs it and rubs it I to her face as soon as we put her in her cot. The sleeping bag under the swaddle was good to because when she started showing signs of rolling in bed, we took the swaddle off but left her in the sleeping bag, so its wasn't like trying to switch the sleep associations. We started using the fisher price seahorse around the 4mth sleep regression and that has been great too! Also (sorry for the essay!) because she has a few things in her bed, now when we put her down she will often play with her comforter or seahorse for a little bit before falling asleep, but its quiet time for her and she doesn't cry. Good luck!

I definitely recommend a few sleep associations - we would out dd in a sleeping bag, swaddle her arms over the top, and she had a comforter that we put near her face from around 8 wks. She would fight the swaddle as we wrapped her, but her eyes would shut almost instantly once she was secure! After a couple of weeks she started really nuzzling into the comforter, now at 7 months she grabs it and rubs it I to her face as soon as we put her in her cot. The sleeping bag under the swaddle was good to because when she started showing signs of rolling in bed, we took the swaddle off but left her in the sleeping bag, so its wasn't like trying to switch the sleep associations. We started using the fisher price seahorse around the 4mth sleep regression and that has been great too! Also (sorry for the essay!) because she has a few things in her bed, now when we put her down she will often play with her comforter or seahorse for a little bit before falling asleep, but its quiet time for her and she doesn't cry. Good luck!

A comforter is something that u introduce to them to be a sleep association or cue - like a blankie or ours is one of those teddy heads on a little square blanket with satin on the back. Tizzie Hall talks about it in save our sleep, but they're pretty common elsewhere as well. Usually bubs will use something to soothe themselves, and the theory is if u introduce it, it doesn't become something like a dummy that they can't replace themselves, or holding onto the cot bars which aren't there for pram sleeps, etc. we were given 5 comforters when dd was born!! We use 2 - one at home and one in the nappy bag for when we're out, but they have similar fabric and both have the satin backing that she rubs against her face. Sorry that was do long - hope it makes sense?

A comforter is something that u introduce to them to be a sleep association or cue - like a blankie or ours is one of those teddy heads on a little square blanket with satin on the back. Tizzie Hall talks about it in save our sleep, but they're pretty common elsewhere as well. Usually bubs will use something to soothe themselves, and the theory is if u introduce it, it doesn't become something like a dummy that they can't replace themselves, or holding onto the cot bars which aren't there for pram sleeps, etc. we were given 5 comforters when dd was born!! We use 2 - one at home and one in the nappy bag for when we're out, but they have similar fabric and both have the satin backing that she rubs against her face. Sorry that was do long - hope it makes sense?

No worries, good luck! Ha ha - we were given 5 when dd was born, but we only use 2! Lots of ppl say to wear it down your shirt for a while so it smells like mum, but if he already likes it you probably won't need to! I would stroke it against her face as I spoke to her softly saying goodnight, so she may associate it with me - who knows if it worked!! They seem to love the satin part, mum said in our day we used to love the satin lining on our blankets!

No worries, good luck! Ha ha - we were given 5 when dd was born, but we only use 2! Lots of ppl say to wear it down your shirt for a while so it smells like mum, but if he already likes it you probably won't need to! I would stroke it against her face as I spoke to her softly saying goodnight, so she may associate it with me - who knows if it worked!! They seem to love the satin part, mum said in our day we used to love the satin lining on our blankets!

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