After discovering the latest omen of the world’s coming demise, the Clog encourages Berkeley students to put down their books and enjoy their short-lived time on Earth.

Were the World Mine trailer It’s a cinematic plot device both terrifying and absurd: a nationwide infestation of the fabled bed bug, so severe as to be deserving of its own federal legislation forebodingly titled “Don’t Let the Bed Bugs Bite Act of 2009.” Which is actually not so much terrifying as really creepy, and also kind of lame.

The outbreak is apparently the worst we’ve experienced in half a century. The pests are especially prone to spreading in “mattress-heavy environments”—yay for us!—and are wonderfully resistant to several insecticides. It isn’t simply the House of Representatives that’s concerned; Environmental Protection Agency’s recent bed bug summit was the first in history.