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Peter, Betsy and our boat were in the BVI, in the path of a historical Category 5 direct hit from Hurricane Irma on September 6th, 2017.

(Islands outlined in purple in the photo above are the USVI.Â Road Town is the main city on Tortola, part of the British Virgin Islands, Northwest of the eye)

Brig and I had flown off islandÂ two days prior “just in case” while Peter stayed behind to secure our boat as well as our employer’s workÂ boats in a mad dash to protect both our home and our livelihood.

It wasn’t until last minuteÂ thatÂ it was even an option for Brig and I to leave. Technically, Brig could notÂ enter the U.S. without a passport. Since he was born in BVI and does not qualify for a BVI passport, we needed to wait until the US Consulate from Barbados came to visit in BVI to apply for his US passport. Â This only happens twice a year and we still had several weeks before the next scheduled visit. Given our circumstances with an impending life threatening storm headed for us, the US Customs and Boarder Protection at the St Thomas airport granted me special permission to let us travel with just a birth certificate for him instead. The day after we arrived in the states we applied for Brig’s passport in person and have since resolved the issue. If it wasn’t for this ridiculousness of not being able to get Brig a passport immediately after he was born, we would have either hauled our boat out of the water like we did last hurricane season and flew up to the states to visit family, or we would have sailed down to Grenada where statistically fewer hurricanes ever hit. This year, we made the best hurricane plan we could with the circumstances we were given.

Irma was only a Cat-3 when I left and we had no idea it would strengthen as much as it did. Not only did it grow to become a major Category 5 hurricane, “Irma sustained 185Â mph (295Â km/h) winds for 37Â hours, becoming the only tropical cyclone worldwide to have had winds that speed for that long, breaking the previous record of 24 hours set byÂ Typhoon HaiyanÂ ofÂ 2013″Â according to Wikipedia.

I watched the news on TV as the eye passed over the entire country of BVI with wind gusts reached a frightening 220 mph. WhenÂ wind increases, the force is not just incremental, it’s exponential. I can’t even comprehend that… I’m so thankful I have the support of my family – but especially during those awful hours when my communication with Peter was cut off. I couldn’t even take care of myself, let alone my baby. It was absolutely torture for me to know what had just happened to St Martin hours before and that Peter was now going through the same unspeakable disaster. I was terrified for my husband’s life. Thanks to Scott and Brittany’s satellite phone, he was able to call me as soon as the storm calmed down enough for him to go outside.

During the storm, Peter and a few others hid inside a well-built home up in the Belmont neighborhood on the West End of Tortola, British Virgin Islands. The house they thought would act as a fortress ended up with blown out windows behind hurricane shutters and was stripped of it’s roof. Debris blocking the roads to the lower part of the island caused them to hike by foot over the wreckage in order to go anywhere. They had the satellite phone which they used to relay messages for me to post on our facebook page in the early days following Hurricane Irma, and they were also able to reach other survivors to let them make calls to their family and loved ones. With great effort, Peter and others that wish to remain anonymous helped facilitate several medical emergency rescues as well.

Our boat was tucked away inside one of the well known hurricane holes and it took days for Peter to get back down there to check on her.Â At first glance he sawÂ she was still floating! Hopes were high that our boat might have been one of the very few boats to survive. A closer look, however, revealed that our home had been destroyed. Peter did everything he could but no amount of preparation could have saved our boat or prevented any of the widespread destruction caused by Irma. Cleats and winches were completely ripped off. The mizzenmast was detached and tangled in the rigging of a nearby boat. The hull deck joints were severely cracked, and the vessel was bringing on water below the waterline from an unknown origin. Stanchions and chainplates ripped out of the decks. Â Bow pulpit crushed. Bulkheads smashed. Most of the electrical system nonoperational. Mud, dirt and debris inside the boat. Water damage and mold everywhere. She was simply battered beyond repair. Â What really salts our wounds is that while the boat was left clinging to the sides of other boats that had been tied to the mangroves, a family of rats had taken up residence in our absence of just a few short days and had been chewing, pooping and peeing on everything inside our boat. If there was ever a hope of salvaging any of ourÂ personal belongings, it was now completely gone.

It feels like it took aÂ lifetime to gather the few items we brought with us when we moved aboard our boat four years ago. We couldn’t fit much in our 42′ sailboat but the things we did have in our tiny floating home meant the world to us. Every tool had multiple purposes. Everything that wasn’t a tool had a specific purpose or sentimental value. Friends and family had sent us all we would ever need for the first two years of Brig’s life. We had everything we would ever need for our whole family and we lost it all.

It took two weeks to finally get Peter and Betsy out of there. Thanks to our friends at Three Sheets Sailing, they wereÂ able to get on a relief boat in Tortola that was returning to St Croix where they could then take a flight to San Juan, Puerto Rico, then Houston, and finally arriving to Seattle, Washington late Sunday night. Although the Royal Navy had imposed martial law with territory-wide curfews, PeterÂ still didn’t feel safe staying on Tortola. Everyone left there is just surviving. With such a significant lack of infrastructure it will be awhile before island life can continue as normal. Although the states doesn’t feel like home for us, we are all glad that our little family is together and safe.

(The above photo showsÂ how Betsy had to ride on the plane from St Croix to Puerto Rico as there was no room for her by Peter’s feet.)

Part of me actually feels guilty that I wasn’t there and will never know what Peter went through. I will never understand the sheer terror he experienced. He literally survived a direct hit from one of the strongest category-5 hurricanes on record on earth. I know the most important thing is that he and Betsy are safe and our little family is whole again, but the grief and emotions surrounding the loss of our home and the shattering of our dreams are overwhelming. I recently read a post by Charlotte Kaufman about what she learned from Losing Rebel Heart and her words explain it best.

Before he left BVI, Peter did the best he could to re-secure our boat back on the dock with all the lines he had left. He sealed up all the cracks he was able to, cleared out the bilge and hooked up a solar panel in hopes that there will be enough power to run the bilge at all. Even if he could’ve salvaged anything off of our boat, there was nowhere safe and dry on island to store any of it. With Hurricane Maria on the way,Â the best thing Peter could do for our family was toÂ get out of there. Hurricane Maria didn’t end up being a direct hit for BVI but it passed just south of the Virgin Islands and was the secondÂ Category-5 hurricane to devastate the Caribbean within a period of two weeks. At this point we have no idea if our boat is still floating or if she incurred any further damage.Â Hopefully our boatÂ will still be accessible, floating, and not looted by the time any insurance surveyors ever come to inspect her.

We’ve filed a claim with our insurance company but I was told that it will take a very, very long time for it to be processed, if they ever make good on it. The volume of destruction that the BVI sustained is unimaginable.Â These islands that so many people love and cherish have been completely decimated. Everyone that survived this historical disaster are forever changed.

Basically there is nothing left for us to go back to right now. We are homeless and unemployed along with so many others that lived in the islands. There are very few structures for anyone to shelter in and not even a hotel for us to stay at. It will be a long time before power and water is restored and basic necessities are available to everyone.

BVI is where Brig was born and where ourÂ hearts will always belong. Our home, our jobs, and all our belongings are gone and our cherished islands have been practically leveled, but Peter and I would still love to go back. We would love to help the islands rebuild and help uncover the magic buried beneath the rubble that so many of us found there in a time before Irma and Maria. With enough support from those that feel the same way, it will happen. The islands will rebuild and start over.

To see many photos of the devastation, visit our facebook page where I’ve shared tons of photos that others have posted.

How You Can Help:

Individual Families:

Many of you have reached out asking how you can help *us* during this difficult time. You know who you are and we can’t thank you enough. Your kind words and generosity means more to us than you will ever know. If there is anyone else interested in how to help us directly, here are a few ways:

Donate viaÂ the PayPal donate button at the bottom of our website (Donations made directly from one paypal account to another incur no fees. Donations made via paypalÂ with a credit card incur a standard fee of 2.9% + $0.30 deducted before reaching us).

Donate via the YouCaring fundraiser that Stacy Najar set up to helpÂ us to get back on our feet. (Donations made via YouCaring with a credit card incur a standard fee of 2.9% + $0.30 deducted before reaching us. YouCaring has zero additional platform fees unlike sites such as Gofundme). www.youcaring.com/wherethecoconutsgrow

Use our Amazon Affiliate link at the bottom of our website! This is no additional cost to you but means a lot to us. If you click our link before making a purchase on Amazon, we get a small commission. Just save our website as a favorite in your web browser and it’s only one extra click to use our link before doing your regular Amazon shopping.

-ALSO-

The Soeters Family – Very good friends of ours Darcy, Luuck, Stormer and Rio of the Sunkissed Soeters lost their boat and all of their belongings when Hurricane Irma madeÂ a direct hit on Sint Maarten, and unfortunately they were not insured. Â Like us, they are now staying with family back in the states until we can all figure out what to do next and how to get back to doing what makes us happy.

USVI âAdopt a Familyâ

Communities as a whole:

So many relief funds have been created in support of the islands affected by Hurricane Irma and Hurricane Maria. Here are just a few of the links dedicated to supporting the devastated communities as a whole:

Most importantly, theÂ BVI SAFETY CHECK websiteÂ was created just for people to search for loved ones and mark people as safe.

PLEASE know that BVI is not the only area that needs help. The US media coverage has primarily focused on Florida but Barbuda, St Barts, Anguilla, St. Martin, USVI, Puerto Rico, Dominican Republic, Haiti, Cuba, Turks and Caicos, Bahamas and Florida have ALL incurred apocalyptic damage from both Irma and MariaÂ and left an unimaginable amount of people homeless and left with nothing. What makes it even worse is thinking of the combined damage fromÂ #Harvey,Â #Irma,Â #Jose,Â #Katia, #Maria#mexicoearthquake,Â #wildfiresÂ and so many other worldwide disasters all happening in such a short period of time. The fact that looting and civil unrest quickly spiraled out of control after these events is just heartbreaking when our world is hurting so much. Luckily most of it is now back under control.Â Everyone needs to come together NOW more than ever. Do what you can, however you can, to help somehow.

Caribbean in General:

Sailors Helping – Info on how to supportÂ several islands in the Caribbean that have been devastated

International Rescue GroupÂ – Disaster relief and humanitarian aid

USVI:

USVI Irma & Maria Relief Fund – For USVI residents in need

St John RescueÂ – For the St. John Community

St John Community Foundation –Â Resources for the St. John Community

Love for Love City – Kenny Chesney’s fundraising campaign for Disaster Relief in USVI and BVI

So, Hurricane Irma has been barreling across the Atlantic during the last few days and she’s headed right for us. Though the forecast doesn’t show her as a direct hit, all bets are off with a major (Cat3 and above) hurricane. The most reliable model is the Euro and that has it coming straight for us. The less reliable GFS model shows it going further North of us. The two models still don’t agree and we are anywhere from 4-5 days out. The direction and strength can change so fast despite what the forecast models show so we pretty much have to prepare for the worst.

It’s really difficult to wrap my brain around this, especially after the recent flooding we had here on Tortola and all the destruction caused by Hurricane Harvey in Texas. I mean, I know it’s peak hurricane season here in the Caribbean but you just never think it’s gonna happen to you. I’m really good at being in denial about stuff like this. It’s our fourth hurricane season and really the first time we’ve ever had to “expect” a named storm on our doorstep.

I’m actually pretty emotional about the whole thing. Granted, I have all these postpartum hormones making it worse, but Peter and I made a decision to have me fly off island with Brig. It’s just not worth risking our safety with something this big and this strong coming so close.

It wasn’t until just two days ago that this was even an option. Technically, he cannot enter the U.S. without a passport. Since he was born in BVI and does not qualify for a BVI passport, we technically have to wait until the US Consulate in Barbados comes to visit here in BVI to apply for his US passport. Well, given our circumstances with an impending life threatening storm headed for us, the US Customs and Boarder Protection agency at the St Thomas airport has granted me special permission to let us travel with just a birth certificate for him instead of a passport. The moment they told me that, I of course started to cry with relief. I don’t want to have to go anywhere but it really is the best thing.

Peter is going to stay here and continue to secure our boat for as long as it’s safe before taking shelter somewhere nearby. He’ll have Betsy to care for but at least he won’t have the added stress of making sure Brig and I are safe too. I’m going to take a ferry from Tortola to St Thomas and catch a flight out on Monday. I will be going up to stay with my family in Washington State far away from the Caribbean and the East Coast.

Its a decision we wouldn’t have made if we didn’t have Brig. I would’ve just stayed here and helped Peter with the safeguarding of our home. Everyone knows that when you have kids, your life changes. Your priorities change. You make different decisions. You do what’s best for your children no matter what.

A round trip ticket cost me $1400 two days ago with one three hour layover via American Airlines. Now there are no more American flights, and tickets are $1500 only available with Jet Blue with two layovers including one for 10 hours. ($2200 with United). I pretty much got one of the last decent flights available to fly out Monday. Let’s hope they didn’t overbook it.

Our boat is in the best possible location it could be in. Literally, the best spot inside this hurricane hole. The boat really shouldn’t see any waves at all and should feel reduced wind. Peter will do everything he can to make sure our home is safe.

I’m just sick about leaving my husband, my dog and my home in the path of a hurricane. Everything could be totally fine and then again it could be really bad. I pray they will be safe and that I will have a home to come back to. Everything we own is on that boat. It’s insured of course and it’s just stuff, but I can’t imagine losing everything I own in a natural disaster.

It happens all over the world. The west coast gets earthquakes and is due for “the big one”. The midwest gets tornadoes. We get hurricanes. I suppose we should be grateful we have so much warning.

I’m sure the cell towers will be down for quite some time so I may not be able to hear from Peter. I’m going to be worried sick. Power will be off island wide and he’ll be relying on the water and food supply we have stocked up. If the boat fares well, he’ll be able to stay aboard after the storm. If not, one person has offered their home to us so atleast Peter and Betsy will have a place to go either after the storm or before if things get too crazy. Before I made my flight reservation we really didn’t have anywhere on land to go, so it wasn’t even a question of whether or not I should leave.

If you pray, please pray for us and for everyone in Irma’s path. We need all the positive vibes we can get…

I may not get a chance to post an update to our website as the storm approaches, but I will definitely be updating our Facebook page as I have more info. Even if you don’t have a Facebook account you can still see updates by clicking HERE.

To all my friends and family in WA… now’s your chance to meet Brig! Send me a message <3

It’s Hurricane Season here in the Caribbean and we’ve got a new backyard view! We’ve actually been here since just days after Brig was born but it’s been hard to find time to keep up on the blog during these first newborn weeks 😉

…

It’s a time of year where anxiety can make you sick to your stomach. When your home is floating in the path of a potential named storm, all kinds of thoughts start racing through your head.

We spent our first two hurricane seasons down in Grenada, which is statistically in a zone that gets less hurricanes, luckily without any action. Last year we hauled out in BVI and this year we are staying aboard in BVI. So far we have not experienced any named storms (knock on wood!) but we are always making sure we’re prepared.

This year has already been fairly active and there were a few systems that looked like they were coming our way but either dissipated or redirected before reaching the Virgins. Peter and I have spent countless hours discussing what we would do in the event of a named storm.

While we trust our mooring ball (that we’ve spent the last two years on) in heavy weather, we don’t necessarily trust it in a named storm especially because now we have Brig. For the duration of Hurricane Season this year we decided to move our boat into a marina that is tucked way inside a designated hurricane hole here on Tortola just so we don’t have to worry about moving it if something comes up. Also, since we have to wait until the end of September to get Brig a passport, we can’t just haul our boat out of the water and fly back to the states to wait out the rest of the season there like we did last year. Not to mention, it’s incredibly expensive for us to do that. Aside from sitting on a mooring, hauling out, or moving to a dock, the fourth option would be to anchor out and hope for the best. We know a few people that have literally been the last boat floating while being anchored in a major storm.

Unfortunately, there are very few spots in BVI to anchor your boat – let alone considering if they would be safe. There are so many mooring balls installed for the charter boats that it leaves very few places left to drop the hook. Given our options here in BVI, we are pretty happy with our current situation from a safety standpoint. We will make every effort to secure our boat the best we can in a named storm, but when it really comes down to it, we’re insured. In fact, I’ve been finalizing our renewal this week. It’s definitely a relief to know we are completely covered for crazy things like hurricanes.

…

While I ABSOLUTELY despise being tied to the dock, it does have a few perks. For one, the Virgin Islands are H-O-T this time of year so being plugged into shore power allows us to use the air conditioning 24/7. Well, it actually requires us to run the A/C 24/7 because if we didn’t we would roast. Its even hotter tucked away inside this hurricane hole than it would be back on our mooring in West End. There are also a ton of mosquitoes when you’re close to shore so that’s another reason we have to keep the boat all closed up. Even though I’m not pregnant anymore, I’m still concerned about Zika. I must admit it’s also nice to have air conditioning when I’ve got a fussy baby though. Secondly, it makes it much easier to take Betsy for a walk. She can practically take herself potty – something she can’t do from our mooring.

Then of course there’s the fact that we can park our car right next to the boat, there is laundry, a gym, our favorite restaurant, and a little grocery market all within a very short walk. Sure it’s convenient, but it’s just not the same as floating out on the water away from everyone else. I look at dock life like being in an apartment complex and our mooring as more like a neighborhood with big spacious lots 🙂

I cannot wait to get back to our beautiful home in West End!! Yes, I’ll probably miss the air conditioning, but I sure do love when the fresh Caribbean breeze blows through our hatches to cool us down.

While my dad and Stacy were here, we decided to take Brig down to the beach just outside their condo at Long Bay. It was an absolutely gorgeous day with a perfect, picturesque view all around us. A nice big palm tree cast a perfect shadow on the sand with lots of space to keep us out of the hot sun. His little skin is so fragile so we are careful to keep him shaded if we do have to go into the sun with him.

I set up the little shade tent that dad and Stacy got for us and gave it a whirl. It sets up in an instant, provides plenty of shade and is big enough for me to sit in there with him. The only bummer part about it was that the wind had started to pick up a little and sand was blowing every which way. I was worried about sand getting in Brig’s eyes so we didn’t stay down at the beach very long but it was still fun for his first time!

While we sat up in the shade, we watched Nana and Grandma Stacy float around in the crystal blue water. Peter had to work that day so we decided to wait for daddy before letting Brig go in the ocean for the first time 😉 Even though I didn’t go swimming, I still loved every second of being down by the water. Next time, Brig and I will be out there too! Before I know it, he’ll be a little fish just like his daddy so I wasn’t too bummed about missing out on the cool waves.

Sometimes I look at the pictures I take here in BVI and I can’t believe how gorgeous it all is. We’re so lucky to be able to call this place home…

For the first seven weeks of Brig’s life we had a constant stream of visiting Grandparents. My mom arrived the day after he was born and stayed for just over a month. Then my dad and stepmom arrived, then Peter’s dad and his aunt were here. We got a little bit of overlap in each visit and it was so much fun.

It was such a special time for us so we decided to take Brig for his first sail! He had already been in the dinghy a few times but he was ready to actually go sailing. Since we had moved our boat to the dock and secured her for the remainder of hurricane season it was much easier to take Aristocat instead. There were no charters scheduled that day so it worked out perfect. Jen and Mike from Three Sheets came with us and brought their friend Shakti. Mike has been running Aristocat since Brig was born so he and Peter took care of all the sailing. It was nice for me to be back on board but it was even nicer that all I had to do was take care of Brig 😉

This was the first time Dad and Stacy could see what we had been up to for nearly two years aboard Aristocat. The last time they had visited us in the islands was before we started working so this was pretty exciting for them. They had heard so much about what we did everyday and they finally got to experience it first hand!

Mom couldn’t be happier. We were headed to her favorite place in the entire world. AND, she was taking her grandson there! She was glowing the whole way!

We sailed over to White Bay, Jost Van Dyke for the day. Brig is still too young to wear sunscreen so I kept him in the shade with me on the boat while everyone else swam to shore and had fun on the beach.

We even took an afternoon nap on the boat while everyone else was having fun on shore. I think Brig, Betsy and Peter got more sleep than I did but I did manage to doze a tiny bit.

Jen, Shakti, dad, Mike, and mom… Stacy was behind the camera. They were clearly enjoying a few Painkillers at the Soggy Dollar Bar!

I think the most memorable part of the whole day was sharing Brig’s first sail experience with both my mom and my dad. I can’t even remember when I was last around them both at the same time. Babies have a way of bringing everyone together! Brig sure is loved by a lot of people <3

**Disclaimer: The following contains the details of Brig’s birth story so if that doesn’t interest you, I suggest you skip this post.

I’ve always been a planner. It’s a way to organize my thoughts and I feel much more productive if I can follow a plan for everything I do. Even if I change my plans and wing it, I quickly come up with a new plan once I know the direction I’m headed.

My pregnancy was no exception. During the beginning of my third trimester I discovered a childbirth program called Hypnobabies. It’s what all the other natural childbirth methods have evolved into these days. From Lamaze to the Bradley Method, to Hypnobirthing… but it’s important to note that Hypnobabies is a completely different program than Hypnobirthing.

I was first introduced to the Mongan Method of Hypnobirthing, a program highly recommended by my good friends Eben and Genevieve. I read the book after they sparked my interest but that program is better absorbed if you can take a local class in person. Here in BVI, childbirth education is severely lacking and I definitely didn’t have access to the kind of class I wanted to take. There was a generic childbirth class available at the local hospital but based on my experiences with the medical professionals here so far, I felt like I could learn more from Google. So, I did what I always do in situations like this… I started to research.

It turns out there are several different Hypnobirthing philosophies, one of which is Hypnobabies. Hypnobabies was developed by someone who used to be a Bradley and Hypnobirthing instructor but also found those programs to be lacking the techniques that women really needed to achieve a deep level of hypnosis during the entire birth.

The cost was about $170 – enough to discourage me from even considering it. As I continued to research more and more, I decided I’d bite the bullet and just order it. I mean, if I actually wanted to do any other class I’d be spending money on that anyway. With this one, I would have the freedom to go at my own speed at home and potentially have an amazing outcome. The Hypnobabies Home Study Course is a complete childbirth education program which comes with a binder of info and a ton of audio tracks to download. While I could’ve purchased a used older version for slightly less money, I decided to get the newest edition as some of the info and tracks had been supplemented.

After the first of 6 weeks into the course I was completely hooked. It requires daily practice and I got to the point of nearly being obsessed with listening to my audio tracks and practicing the techniques. I was totally in love with everything I was learning and it truly prepared me mentally for everything that could happen during the birth of my baby. I knew it would take practice and conditioning. I knew there was a chance I could have a completely pain free, easy, comfortable, drug free natural childbirth. I also knew there was a chance that everything could fall apart.

I created a birth preferences sheet for the birth process as well as a baby-care preferences sheet for everything related to the baby. During my hospital tour I met the OB that would be on call during the birth, as well as the midwives that pretty much run the maternity ward. I explained that there is language used in the Hypnobabies program that replaces harsh terms for softer ones such as Pressure instead of Pain, Pressure Waves instead of Contractions, birthing instead of labor etc. I even printed out articles to give to the doctor and midwives explaining the evidence based items they didn’t understand. For the most part they were all very receptive and curious about my program, but there was still an underlying skepticism laced with regimented routine. I had learned so much and felt so educated and empowered and I was very proud to be able to go into the birth with knowledge about what I wanted done and what interventions I was going to refuse. I felt confident I would be able to take charge of the birth process when the time came, even if the nursing staff wasn’t familiar with my plan.

***

For some reason, I had it stuck in my head that my baby would arrive a week after his guess date (due date). I really thought I had so much time. At 38 weeks on June 13th, my water released at 6:30 am. I had been sleeping and woke to feel a small gush. I snuck out of bed, careful to not wake Peter so early. This is when my denial really took hold. I was in such denial that when Peter woke up to get ready for work I almost thought it would be okay for him to go! I thought for sure it would take me all day and possibly all night to be ready to give birth. I was still trying to convince myself that this was really happening.

Luckily we decided it would be best for Peter to stay home from work and have Scott drive down and take the charter out for him. I had started timing my pressure waves (contractions) and they were averaging 4 minutes apart, but there were some gaps of 10 minutes in between. So here I was thinking they weren’t regular enough for the 5-1-1 rule. I was waiting for them to be 5 minutes apart for 1 minute duration – consistently for one hour. Well, they were all less than 5 minutes apart but with such a thick skin of denial over me, I kept telling myself and Peter that we had plenty of time. Poor Peter kept asking if it was time yet, and what we needed to do. I kept telling him to relax and that there was nothing we needed to do. That’s when he pulled an All Is Lost moment… he started to shave! I mean, what else is a guy to do when anxiety is overwhelming him yet there’s nothing that can be done? That scene seemed so stupid in the movie but it actually makes sense to us now 🙂

All morning my mind was so focused on timing my waves and figuring out if it was really time. I slowly gathered my hospital bag and helped Peter decide what else we needed to take with us. I had started listening to the first track I needed to play on my birthing day. It wasn’t a deep hypnosis track but it was part of my plan. I was pretty anxious myself and of course still in denial so where I really screwed up was by not putting myself in a deep hypnosis right then and there. My only job was to just do what I had practiced. I failed. My mind was so preoccupied that I wasn’t focusing on what was really happening.

Around noon I still hadn’t gotten into my hypnosis yet. I was feeling great, no pain at all. I was actually enjoying the pressure waves, remembering that my body was made to do this. Peter finally insisted that it was time for him to take Betsy over to Jen on Three Sheets and head to the hospital. I agreed but still just wanted to relax and progress at home as long as possible. I was actually kind of irritated that he was making me go just then. That’s when I should’ve known it was time.

We got in the dinghy and I needed a little help getting back out. That’s when things started getting painful. I had told myself I’d start the deep hypnosis tracks once I got in the car, but the walk to the car put me in a totally different place. I couldn’t speak through my pressure waves. Oh how I wish they were still just pressure waves! But by this point lets just call them what they were – contractions. I attempted to sit in the front seat but that was just not going to happen. Peter cleared out the back seat for me and I climbed in, laying on my side. I immediately put my earbuds in and tried to get relaxed again with one of the deepening tracks but it just wasn’t working. My contractions were coming every 2-3 minutes. We had about a 25 minute drive to the hospital along a bumpy road. Needless to say, I was never able to relax again from that point on.

Starting to realize that our little boy was coming NOW, I told Peter to park the car and help me walk in from the parking lot, instead of dropping me off at the entrance. I timed my waves and walked from the car past the front desk while I barely mumbled to the ladies that I was already checked in and that I was going to the 4th floor. I didn’t want to sit so I refused their wheelchair and they looked at me like I was crazy. It’s a good thing they followed us though because there were several security swipes that were needed to open all the doors. By the time I got to the maternity ward I was in tears. I was an emotional mess as I realized then in that moment that this was really happening whether I was ready or not. It wasn’t going the way I had planned at all. I didn’t feel the happiness I thought I would feel as I walked in. I knew where I was going but I felt so lost. Everything I had planned had gone out the window hours before.

My birth preferences were still flashing through my brain despite the chaos and pain. I knew I had planned on minimal checks but upon arrival they wanted to see how dilated I was, as expected, and I didn’t have the energy to refuse. Turns out I was at 6 cm when we arrived at 12:45pm. Here’s where they started going against everything in my birth preferences. Peter was trying so hard to be supportive and he tried to enforce my preferences but the midwives were very demanding. Keep in mind, at my earlier hospital tour everyone agreed that I could move about as I wished, be in any position I wanted to, and that basically they could not force me to do anything. Well, here I was in the worst pain I had known my entire life and the damn lady would not let me lay the way I was most comfortable. They wanted me in a position that was convenient for them. Things started to escalate so with a defeated whimper I asked what my options were for pain management, should I change my mind. They told me there was nothing they could give me if I was past 7 cm so they would have to check me again to be sure. I agreed. By the time the midwife came back in to check me, maybe 20 minutes had passed by and I was at 9 cm.

My plan for having this baby without drugs was happening, except I was missing the part that would’ve prevented the pain. Without being in hypnosis from the beginning I felt like there was no way I could ever achieve it at this point. The worst moments of it all were when they took several unwanted steps to hurry the process instead of letting my body go at the speed it wanted. They forced me to lay on my back with my legs in stirrups and it was the most uncomfortable position I could be in. This was just one of many instances that they insisted on something that was more convenient for them, not for me. They insisted on an episiotomy, something the doctor was advocating from before the birth which tells me it’s a routine procedure for them. He told me it’s easier for them to stitch an episiotomy than to chance a natural tear. Even though I did not want them to do it, they told me horrible things to convince me to agree.

Just 2 hours after arriving at the hospital, Brig was born. I was still in shock after everything had spiraled out of control so fast, but once the pain was gone I was finally able to take charge of the rest of the procedures. They weren’t very happy about it and I was probably a terrible patient in their eyes but I didn’t care. I couldn’t wait for my hour of uninterrupted time with my baby and my husband. We were required to stay at the hospital for 48 hours. By the end of those two days I was more than ready to go home.

My poor mom missed the birth by one day and arrived the day after he was born. Although she was sad, we agreed that it was probably best she wasn’t there for how they were treating me during the birth. It was an experience that Peter and I were supposed to go through together and we made it.

***

Looking back, I SO wish I could have had the amazing Hypnobabies birth that I wanted and that I was prepared for. I know there are a lot of you that are thinking to yourself… “I told you so” or “that stuff doesn’t really work” but I really do think I could have had a better experience if I had just done what I was supposed to do earlier. Everything happened so fast and so much earlier than we expected. He was born two weeks early, and really three weeks before I thought he would. I think all my practice allowed me to stay so calm and relaxed that whole morning without even needing to put myself in a deep hypnosis, and I didn’t even realize it at the time. I could look at it like the program didn’t work for me, but I know that’s not true. If we have another baby in the future, I will ABSOLUTELY be using Hypnobabies again. I will do my best to not be in denial and I’ll embrace my birthing day without fear. Most importantly, I will NOT give birth in BVI ever again. They are too set in their ways and they did not support me like they said they would. I think I can absolutely have a different experience next time.

If you’re interested in learning more about Hypnobabies please send me a message and I’d be happy to talk more about it. There are so many beautiful birth stories from other hypnomamas and that is what inspired me to try the program. Just because my birth story didn’t turn out like theirs doesn’t mean it doesn’t work. I am still so grateful for all the knowledge I learned from the study materials and it truly helped me feel confident throughout the rest of my pregnancy. I recommend doing your own research as I did, but if you decide to try the Hypnobabies program, please consider using my link as I do get a small commission if you purchase anything on their website by first clicking my link HERE.

On June 13th, 2017 our sweet little boy Brig was born! He measured in at 6 lbs 9 ounces and 18.9″ tall.

You might be wondering how we chose his name. First of all, Peter’s dad was also a Peter, though he went by Pete. My Peter and his dad had different middle names so they did not go by Sr/Jr. His dad passed away many years ago and we wanted to continue the tradition of giving his name to our son as well. Though we wanted to pass down the first name, we planned on calling our baby boy by his middle name to help ease any confusion. In searching for a suitable middle name, we tried to find one that had something to do with the ocean or water, but many of the cute ones had already become fairly common.

It wasn’t until the very end of my pregnancy that I found the name Brig on a baby name website. As soon as I looked up the meaning, it was instantly my new top choice. A Brig is an 18th Century sailing vessel with two square-rigged masts (not to be confused with Brigantine rigged). It’s a little bigger than a schooner; and according to Wikipedia, Brigs were seen as fast and maneuverable and used during the Age of Sail as naval warships and merchant vessels before the arrival of the steam ship. The name itself is one syllable, strong and very unique, also qualities I was searching for. I had to hold him for about a day after he was born before I knew for sure, but after a little while, it became clear that Brig was his name. Absolutely positively without a doubt he looks like a Brig!

It’s almost been four weeks since we first got to hold him and I honestly have no idea where the time has gone. We’ve taken a bazillion photos since then but I’ve been having issues with the internet here in BVI so I haven’t been able to post anything on the website 🙁 Even if you don’t have a Facebook account, you can still see all the photos I’ve posted on our public Facebook Page —HERE–.

…

My water broke at 6:30am the morning of the 13th and it took me a few hours to not be in denial that I was about to have this baby. I almost let Peter go to work that day thinking that nothing would be happening until later that night! Boy was I wrong. At about noon Peter finally convinced me we should head to the hospital. He took Betsy over to stay with Jen and Mike from Three Sheets and then I carefully climbed down into the dinghy. Everyone had been so worried I wouldn’t be able to get into the dinghy but it was totally fine. By the time I got out of the dinghy on shore, things were finally progressing. Peter had gone to get the car but when I went to get in the back seat I was unable to talk through my contractions. I climbed in the back and put my earbuds in to listen to my Hypnobabies tracks. (More on this later). We arrived at the hospital at 12:45 and I walked from the parking lot in through the main entrance, into the elevator, up to the fourth floor and into the Labor and Delivery ward. Brig was born just two hours later at 2:44pm.

The next day, my mom arrived from the states. She was so sad she missed it by one day!! Mom, Peter, Brig and I left the hospital and made our way home on the 15th of June. We’ve all been falling in love deeper and deeper every day.

Fast forward almost four weeks… I’m so thankful mom has been here to help out. Brig wakes up just about every two hours to eat and fill his tiny belly, then goes back to sleep, which means I feel like a zombie 24/7. Each day gets a little easier though. I’m starting to get a little more energy and Brig is starting to stay awake a little longer.

Hopefully the internet issue will get sorted out soon and I can get caught up on posting photos to share with you! In the meantime, don’t forget to check our facebook page for a steady stream of Brig pics 🙂

I officially made it to 36 weeks on Sunday. That means only 4 final weeks left until we reach our guess date! I also turned 34 years old this past Friday though the first number is MUCH more exciting 😉 This little boy could literally decide to arrive anytime now and I’m just not quite ready.

My mom comes back to stay with us again on June 14th and she’ll be bringing a bunch of baby stuff with her. If you sent us a gift but haven’t heard from us yet, it’s most likely still at my dad’s house waiting to make the journey down from the states. It would’ve been a logistical nightmare to try to receive packages here in BVI so we are very grateful that my parents have been coordinating that part for us and are able to bring everything down with them when they come to visit the baby!

There are still a few things left on our baby registry that we definitely need. There’s really not all that much left, but it does add up. I honestly tried to keep the list as minimal as possible but it’s amazing how much stuff just one tiny little person will need in the first year! Now that I’m not working anymore, we’re really feeling the negative cash flow. We recently had to make a major purchase out of safety concerns, plus Peter has to take a very expensive supplementary class for his Captain’s license this week – a setback we weren’t accounting for. I’m sure it will all work out somehow. It’s times like this that I’m extra thankful for my Hypnobabies program which helps me stay calm, centered and confident while releasing all my fears about these big changes that are happening.

*****

Everyone knows I love to organize, make lists, and prepare for pretty much everything. Having a baby is no different. I’ve been in nesting mode the last few weeks but I really don’t feel like it’s kicked into overdrive yet. As soon as I reached the third trimester I’ve been resting as much as my body tells me to and I try to get little projects done here and there when I have the energy. Some of those projects have involved sewing, which is fun because I get to use my awesome Sailrite LSZ-1 machine. I’ve repaired all kinds of things from Peter’s shorts, sails, zippers and canvas recently. I’ve also made some more purses like the one I carry with me, as well as messing around with some fun new ideas like a fabric basket inbox for the nav station.

My favorite project so far was recently completed this past weekend and I’m quite pleased! Being as though I didn’t have a diaper bag yet, I really wanted to make one out of sailcloth from an old jib I’ve had stashed in our forward cabin. Part of getting ready for baby means using up and getting rid of things that were stored in there previously, hence all the recent sewing projects. I had some cute anchor print canvas fabric in my supply and more than enough sailcloth. It took me quite a few google image searches to figure out how I wanted the inside to look, then I had to figure out how to engineer it. I know a backpack style diaper bag would be the most practical for living on a boat but I already have a killer drybag backpack from Drycase that I use all the time so I wanted this diaper bag to be tote-style with a zippered top and inside divided pockets – more beach bag looking. Without a pattern and step-by-step instructions, sewing creations are not easy. Although there are some things I would change on a second go-around, overall I’m pretty happy with the way it turned out 🙂 It’s super cute but I think I’m most happy about the fact that it’s one less thing we need to buy.

A very LONG overdue galley project finally got completed this week! Though it cost us nearly $2000 it was a necessary purchase. Our stove/oven had slowly become unusable over the last several years and we finally bit the bullet and replaced it!

Our old stove was a Seward Princess – a brand that is not manufactured anymore. While I liked the setup, it was just plain dangerous to use anymore. For starters, the oven door busted on one side so it would not close all the way. It never really got very hot to begin with but when a good portion of the heat began to escape right out the front it was hardly helpful and took forever to bake anything.

Next, the front right burner was completely seized up. I guess the valves on these units eventually get all gummed up inside and its nearly impossible to clean or service them. The knob just wouldn’t turn at all.

The middle burner in the back would not stay lit unless I stood there and held in the knob for a minimum of 10 minutes after lighting it. At which time, the temperature could not be reduced to low heat, meaning I had to carefully decide what I was going to cook on that burner knowing it could only be done at high heat and I might not have an extra hand to stir anything else. Most likely, the thermo-coupler was shot, preventing it from getting hot enough to stay lit on its own. Total pain in the a$$ so I just didn’t use that burner anymore either.

The right front burner was the only one I had been able to use but it was most definitely on it’s way out too. The flame would ALWAYS blow out the first two times, requiring me to stand there and light it a total of three times. It wasn’t bad propane or a lack of oxygen, it just wouldn’t stay lit unless I did it three times. Weird. But that’s not all. If I was using the oven at the same time, the knobs on the front of the stove would get so warm that they would stick (just like the first burner). This was particularly scary when cooking if I couldn’t shut off the frickin flame. It’s a small space to begin with and if I’m cooking up a storm then there is definitely not room to have an open flame just burning away! Shut off then required me to be done using the oven because I’d have to turn off the propane solenoid on the wall, which stopped the flow of propane, but then I had to wait for the whole unit to cool off before I could turn the stove knob back to “off” position. Yep total P.I.T.A. And so very unsafe.

R.I.P. old girl…

It was probably meant to be… I had Peter verify my measurements of the space allowance we had compared to the new stoves available in the Budget Marine catalog. We decided on the American version of the 3-burner Force 10 – a very popular brand and model. It was a product that the chandlery here on Tortola at Nanny Cay either carried or could order in with their regular shipments. On our next trip past Nanny Cay we stopped in to replace our leaking BBQ propane tank (yep, more money spent on necessary upgrades). While locating the new tank we inquired about the specific part number we wanted to order since we didn’t see any three-burners on the floor. Turns out, the very model number we wanted WAS right there in the store, on the display floor, packed nicely in it’original box!! I was sold. It was right there all along, concealed from everyone else, we just had to ask and their system told us it was right there. Perfect.

We were disappointed that the pricing had gone up since the chandlery there was no longer operating as Budget Marine but it didn’t matter. It was not economically feasible for us to try to sail our boat all the way to St. Thomas on the off chance that Peter may get a consecutive three days in a row off work. Maybe if I wasn’t 8 months pregnant, but we agreed it was just better to spend a little extra and get one that was already imported into BVI. All we had to do was load it in the car, into the dinghy and into our boat.

Luckily, our friend Mike from Three Sheets was available to help Peter with the awkward lifting. It was only about 85 lbs but still rather large and definitely a two-man job for getting it into our boat. Even our friend Branson came to help lift the new one up and through our companionway. Such sweet guys to help a pregnant lady out 😉 The old one was much easier to get it out.

It took quite a bit of cleaning once the old unit was out. Messes are nearly impossible to avoid once these suckers are installed.

While the guys hauled the old one out, I started unpacking the new one 🙂 It’s so SHINY!! Probably the shiniest thing we have on our boat now!

The end of June is fast approaching and our little boy is going to be here before we know it! It’s not surprising that we’ve received a lot of questions and comments from friends, family and charter guests over the last 6-7 months like…

“Aren’t you afraid of getting Zika?”

“Are there good doctors in BVI?”

“Are you going to move to land?”

We’ve answered these same questions and others a gazillion times already so I thought it was about time I post our answers here.

Getting pregnant while living in an area with active Zika transmission:

Literally at the exact same time we finally decided we were ready to have a baby, the entire world was being flooded with fear about the mosquito-borne Zika Virus and the resulting birth defects it can supposedly cause. The epidemic is not a new one, yet since 2015 began to spread like wildfire across large regions – predominately those home to the Aedes Aegypti mosquito. The entire Caribbean is smack dab in the middle of this mess with some of the highest rates of Zika Virus transmission. For those of you living in the States or that are not in the baby-making age range, it may be an “out of sight, out of mind” topic that you haven’t paid much attention to. News agencies have virtually stopped reporting about it after the initial outburst, but it doesn’t mean that the problem has gone away. For us, it’s a very scary reality.

Peter and I had some big decisions to make. He was 37 and I was 33 at the time and it could be years before the entire world learns enough information about Zika to even begin to disspell any fears let alone develop and approve any vaccines to prevent birth defects in pregnancies. At this stage, it’s not even scientifically proven that Zika alone is the cause of the rise of the birth defects that have been surfacing. The scariest part is that the umbrella term that’s being called “Congenital Zika Syndrome” is much more complicated than just Microcephaly. It can supposedly and potentially present years after a baby is born to a Zika-infected pregnant mother in additional forms such as hearing, vision, and motor problems as well as other neurological disabilities.

The longer we wait (which could be an indefinite amount of time), the greater the chance we would also have of a multitude of age-related high risk pregnancy factors. If we wait too long, maybe we won’t be able to get pregnant. If we wait too long, maybe we would be faced with other birth defects. I know the ‘What If’ game is a terrible thing to do to yourself but it just happens. What if we don’t get Zika? What if our baby is totally healthy? It’s an incredibly personal decision to make and Peter and I had to weigh a lot of factors before we finally agreed on one.

We were both working at the time and could not afford to quit our jobs, leave our boat and all our worldly belongings in the Caribbean to fly back to the states, live with family and have a baby. It just wasn’t a good choice for us. After deciding we were not going to run away from Zika, (I mean, its being transmitted in the States too,) we had two options. Try to get pregnant while living in the Caribbean, or wait a few years and potentially not be able to get pregnant at all.

We chose to take a chance and not wait.

Now I know some of you might disagree with the choice we made or our reasoning behind it. But that’s just it – it was our choice, not yours. Just as it’s impossible to try to put yourself in someone else’s shoes when it comes to decisions like this, it’s impossible to ever really understand unless you are or have been in their shoes. So please, spare us any negative comments.

What I’ve found in my own research:

The WHO and CDC believe that Zika is the cause of associated birth defects.

According to several scientific studies, there’s approximately an 11% chance of a fetus developing birth defects if the mother is infected with Zika during the first trimester (slightly lower in the second and third trimester).

80% of persons infected with Zika are asymptomatic (show no symptoms).

There are many conspiracies against the CDC and vaccine developers questioning if Zika is really causing these birth defects or if its all just a huge scare tactic.

Reported statistics are virtually impossible to believe because of improper testing and reporting.

Reporting from Brazil is not consistent with the statistics in other countries.

DEET helps prevent mosquito bites but it’s not necessarily safe for long term use, especially in pregnant women.

The most frustrating part so far has been how hard it is to get the proper testing in a country with active Zika transmission.

There are several different tests for Zika. The two most common tests are:

The (real time) RT-PCR test – for symptomatic persons that have been exposed to Zika via mosquito bite or sexual transmission within the last 7 days. The test is not valid for time periods older than 7 days.

The IgM Antibody test – for symptomatic or asymptomatic persons that have been exposed to Zika via mosquito bite or sexual transmission within the last 12 weeks of first or second trimester.

The CDC website has an interactive tool that helps you evaluate which test should be performed. (Look for the section on >> this page << that says Pregnancy and Zika Testing and press the BLUE button that says START. Based on this tool, any pregnant women in their first or second trimester or women trying to conceive (with or without Zika symptoms) that live in or have visited an area with active Zika transmission within the last 12 weeks, or have had sexual contact with someone that has visited an area with active Zika transmission within the last 12 weeks should be given the ZIKA IgM ANTIBODY TEST.

I made the mistake of assuming that both tests were available here in BVI. When I first went in for testing in January 2017 to see if I had contracted Zika during the previous 12 weeks of my first trimester, the lab took it upon themselves to order the wrong test. I had to pay my co-pay, then wait two weeks for the result, only to read on the report that the RT-PCR test was negative for the past 7 days. WTF? Seriously? It was supposed to be the IgM Antibody test!

After several very upset phone calls to my doctor, the Medicure lab and the National Health Insurance office, I was getting nowhere. I marched into the lab and demanded a meeting with the manager who informed me they only offer the PCR test and that apparently I was the “first person in all of BVI to request the IgM Antibody test.” Furthermore, it was only recently made available within the last two weeks. He then informed me I would need a new lab order form signed again by my doctor with specific “Zika IgM Antibody” verbiage on it, not “Zika Serology” as was written before. Once they received the new order signed by my doctor the lab would need to submit the request to NHI for approval before sending out my new blood sample to Quest Diagnostics in Puerto Rico for another two week processing period. This time my cost (including a substantial lab markup and minimal insurance co-pay) would be $154 instead of the $18.50 I paid for their mistake the first time. Neither my doctor, the lab or the National Health Insurance owned up to their appalling mistake, nor did any of them accept my demand to reimburse me for the cost of the first test. Pick your battles I guess… At least I finally got the right test processed and it came back negative. A negative test for the first trimester was a huge relief. To this day, I still don’t understand how I apparently know more about all of this than any medical professional in the entire country.

The drama continued when I went in for my second IgM Antibody test to cover the previous 12 weeks of my second trimester. A manager at NHI promised it would only take two days to process the approval yet instead it took two weeks (including two weekends and two BVI holidays) before I could get anyone to do their job. I had to personally notify the lab that the approval was now processed and that someone there needed to do their job. Long story short, I was finally able to pay the obnoxious fee and eventually had the results in my hand. Yet again, I was incredibly relieved to see that my results were negative for the 2nd Trimester as well. If I weren’t pregnant it wouldn’t be such a concern but the peace of mind of knowing that I in fact did not contract Zika during my first two trimesters is a big deal to me.

Clearly, the correct Zika testing is NOT happening here in the British Virgin Islands, therefore any statistics that may be available for reported Zika cases (at least in BVI) are grossly incorrect. Do I expect to see this change? Not at all. It’s just how it goes here in the Islands.

What can I do in the meantime?

Avoid getting bit by mosquitoes. That’s it. Luckily they don’t usually fly out to our boat in the anchorage but if we are anywhere on land there are usually hungry mosquitoes nearby.

Fun fact: Did you know that only females bite? They require a blood meal before laying eggs. The type of mosquito that carries Zika has a vicious life cycle that is nearly impossible to stop since laid eggs can survive for sometimes more than a year on a dry surface until they are submerged in water.

Consumer Reports issued a list of ratings on several brands of mosquito repellents. The top 5 for effectiveness against the Aedes mosquito (the one that carries Zika) for the longest amount of time are in order as follows:

If you’re like me and are hesitant on the safety of slathering DEET and other chemicals on your skin while pregnant, you might be interested to know that coconut oil with 20-30 drops of a citrus smelling essential oil has been very effective for me, even when I had to be in a small space with literally dozens of mosquitoes flying around my legs. I personally prefer orange and grapefruit over lemon and citronella. A study I found shows that clove is the most effective against the Aedes mosquitoes but clove is not safe for use during pregnancy and I really didn’t like the smell either. Another factor to consider is the photosensitivity of citrus oils – a concern for me since it’s very sunny here. The mixture has to be reapplied every hour or two but does work well as long as you don’t miss a spot.

Are there good Doctors in BVI?

Well, when it comes to concerns about Zika, apparently the medical community here is farther behind on their research than I am. That does not make me feel very comfortable given the fact that I’m choosing to give birth to my baby in the Caribbean. I doubt that fetal brain scans after birth are available here, let alone part of any Congenital Zika Syndrome screening that is consistent with what’s being done in the United States. I keep telling myself that babies are born all over the world. I believe everything will be just fine. As I mentioned in the beginning, the decision to stay here instead of going back to the States was a very personal decision and one that we made together. In the event that we need care that cannot be provided here, we of course would do whatever needs to be done to get the care our family needs.

For now, we plan to keep living on our boat indefinitely – or at least until it’s not fun anymore 🙂

**Disclaimer: The information provided on this website or in this post is solely based on my personal experience and opinion and is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice. By reading about or purchasing any products described on this website or in this post, you are acknowledging that you take full responsibility for your health, life and well-being as well as the health, lives and well-being of your family and children (where applicable), and for all decisions made by you now and in the future.