Wednesday, March 21, 2012

We generally eschew serious political commentary in favor of goofy inside jokes and quixotic windmill-jousting (is there really any other kind?). Sure, we'll occasionally make fun of a politician here and there, or mock South Carolina, but politics isn't typically our bag.

We make an exception, though, when the old white men who still run way too many things try to wrench us back into the '50s. We're still more aggrieved when they mess with our womenfolk. (Apologies to our womenfolk for the use of the word womenfolk. We get protective sometimes. Not that you can't protect yourselves. Okay. I'll shut up now.)

The Republican Presidential primaries have been a special kind of circus, replete with personal attacks, charges of flip-floppery, flim-flammery, liberalism, and Newtism, and six different kinds of crazy. I've mostly looked on with bemusement tempered with a tiny bit of terror about the idea that one of that collection of whackadoodles, narcissists, and weathervanes might yet have a puncher's chance of becoming the most powerful person in the free world.

But when the conservatives came for the vaginas, they overstepped in egregious fashion. From the kerfuffle over HPV vaccination to a full blown hue and cry over contraception coverage in employer-sponsored healthcare plans (featuring a national conservative icon calling a law student a 'slut' on the public airwaves) to requiring women to undergo humiliating procedures before the paternal state deems them fit to exercise their reproductive rights (and I don't want to get into a debate over abortion - regardless of your personal beliefs, a woman's right to choose is settled law), the religiously-dominated conservative movement has been virulently and increasingly anti-female in recent years. (As an aside, Transvaginal Ultrasound will almost certainly be the name of an indie band soon, if it isn't already. Look for them at SXSW in 2013.)

1. Knit or crochet a vagina or uterus
2. Print a message to enclose
3. Mail it to your male Senator or Congressional Representative [links provided]
4. We’re in the process of arranging hand delivery to congressional offices in Washington, until then, go ahead and mail yours in!
5. Record your items in this spreadsheet so we can track which representatives still need to receive a "gift"!
6. Don't forget to thank your representative if he respects women and supports our rights.

This going to be much bigger than the Circus Peanut Diorama Contest. Naughtier, too.

I have recently started hanging out with a really cool group of women, and we are learning how to knit, among other things. I will bring this to our next gathering and confirm everything they already suspect about me.

Tony Sparano invented the wildcat, so the thought is he can use Tebow in that formation. It's also believed he will add some Christian values to the locker room. I don't think Sanchez will see it as a threat b/c Tebow throws worse than I do.

I hate the move. The team has so many needs that a 4th round draft pick could fill. I would be more bitter if I hadn't just returned from an epic snowboarding trip to Park City. 2 feet of powder on Sunday night/Monday. Ridiculous powder riding on Monday and Tuesday after a fun half-day on Sunday afternoon.

Ok Mr. KQ and Rob...please keep in mind we also do things like hike, rock climb and there's talk of skydiving. But the knitting party included a skill known as 'finger knitting' where one can knit without having to use needles. So between the finger knitting option and the finger foods, we were all invited to come "enjoy some finger fun!" You're welcome, and no you can't join.