197 Comments

“I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so, because some people out there in our nation don`t have that, and. I believe that our education, such as south Africa… and eh… the Iraq… everywhere like such as… and I believe that they should our education over here in the U.S.should help the U.S uh, eh, should help South Africa, and should help the other Asian countries countries, so we would be able to build our future.“

@ no way – my American friends (I’m not talking about the U.S. as a whole, I’m referring to actual friends of mine hehe) ALWAYS mistake an English accent for a French one. I’ve never been able to figure that one out…??? O.O

I so hope Alex & Mel are 12 or under. That wouldn’t excuse it, but it might make me despair a TINY bit less for humanity…

As for people mistaking English accents for French ones, that’s just really weird. Those are the 2 most recognizable accents in the world to me; that is, I can tell what country the person is from as opposed to just which region or continent.

I was once visiting an Arkansas high school (don’t ask). I wasn’t surprised at the number of kids who were unable to find my tiny country (Ireland) on a map. I was surprised, however, at the number of kids who couldn’t find Arkansas on a map.

You should really be able to find where you live on a map by the time you’re 16.

but seriously. this is why people hate us americans. these vapid, moronic people who can’t even answer a question as simple as “where is london?” look at a fucking map, read a goddamn book. with all the resources available to us, its an embarrassment.

I had a boss (!!!) once who told me about how she and her kids were talking one day and the subject of travel came up…she told her kids that she wasn’t totally sure what the capital of England was but she thought it might be France. She still wasn’t sure the following Monday at work so she asked me. Yeah, those kids are going to grow up to be geniuses. Imagine how proud I was to work for her.

Sometimes I’m embarased to be the same species as these people. If your in a library ussually ones first instinct should be to find the information in a book then reduce the risk of looking a complete wally. Of course with internet access as well when looking for information I can think of many sites I would look before asking the random masses on facebook.

Reminds me of the 21-year-old admin of mine that I used to bang regularly in my office. After she blew me one afternoon, I told her to book me a flight to London for a meeting. As she was wiping off her chin (no joke), she looked up at me and said “Can I book that directly thru England or do you have to stop in the UK first?”

True story. I was in New York and got asked if I (an English person) came from Australia. I denied it stating i was from England. To which i was asked
“Is that a bit like Australia then? You sound Australian, are you sure you’re not Australian?”
Yes i am sure
“Oh. So England. Is that near China?”

American: Where are you from?
Me: Oslo
American: Were is that?
Me: It’s in Norway
American: Where is that?
Me: It’s a scandanivian country.
American: Oh cool! Where is that?
Me: It’s in the north of Europe
American: Oh, where is that?
Me: It’s another continent, across the Atlantic
American: Okay then, nice talking to you.

@all: I’m an Eastern Euro-born chick who grew up in California. True story: I was on a Delta flight to Budapest a few years back, and right before landing, the pilot piped up: “Welcome to Bucharest!” ..At which the whole plane BOOED him! No, Americans are NOT as stupid as we Euros sometimes think. #themoreyouknow

If you’re on a plane flying to a city, I’m pretty sure you’re going to remember the name of the city. That hardly makes people Mensa material. And where was the moron Delta pilot from? I’m guessing America. Thanks for proving the “Yanks are ‘tards” point we were all trying to make.

Incidentally, I preferred reading your comment up to the second colon and pretending that was the end. Somehow, that made for a less lame story than the stupid one you went on to tell.

@bingo: What exactly are you hating on? Why bother engaging with me if all you have is a stock speech + a supply of anti-Americanism? Xenophobia doesn’t turn me on. If you’re trying to score a date with me, I’m respectfully declining. XOXO!

And St Patrick’s Day is…? Oh, Holy fuck, it’s the IRISH day where we all wear green and get drunk on Guinness, an Irish beer. Genius. And I do have the power of assumption, I assumed you were a little bit slow. Nothing has changed that yet.

I’m not hating, just ridiculing. You have to admit yours was a bad example. People really do tend to remember the name of the city they are flying to. And I don’t see how you can call my speech a “stock speech” when it was completely tailored to address yours. Yours seemed a little more “stock” to me.

@bingo: Ah, OK. Let’s sort this out over schnitzel and Sekt. I live in Berlin, so meet me tomorrow at the Hotel Kempinski on Unter den Linden. Wear an American flag pin on your lapel so I can recognize you. This is me, btw: http://tinyurl.com/cqwx2s

@ jelly: Uh, no, Big Ben and the Eiffel Tower are not the same thing. Big Ben was gifted to England by the French as a gesture of goodwill back in 1993, when London replaced Paris as the capital of France. Before that, this magnificent edifice stood on the Left Bank and was known as ‘Le Ben Grand’.

This is really basic shit that you would know if you weren’t American.

Patrick was Welsh, yes, but his name isn’t Welsh. It comes from a Latin word meaning “aristocrat”, from whence we get the English adjective “Patrician”. It’s not unusual for patron saints to come from somewhere else. The patron saint of England, for instance, St. George, lived and died in Lebanon.

I don’t appreciate others who can’t differentiate between australian and new zealand accents. And no, i can’t tell the difference between american and canadian accents because i just dont care enough….

I am from South Africa, and on my travels I have heard some pretty retarded things! like, um ‘so you’re from South Africa, right? then why are you white?’ and ‘shame, where you you get your clothes’ and ‘its it safe to walk around there, with like the lions and stuff?’
Seriously!! WTF! go play in traffic!

Only got time to deal with:
Sarcasticmeow @ #13… Girl! The Normans came from a part of what is now France but which was not in 1066 – France (as we now know it) was then a whole load of smaller independent kingdoms and principalities. Just had to put you right there – cannot bear the thought of any part of England being over-run by cheese-eating surrender-monkeys. Which, of course, the Normans were not

See, I have this idea. In America, instead of our tax dollars going to Alex and Mel’s inevitable welfare checks, why don’t we pay for them to have their reproductive organs removed? I wouldn’t mind shelling out money for that.

@88 Hmmm I guess you don’t understand why I asked the question. I was curious whether or not they must be made out of a young sheep, or if they could still be “lamb chops” when they were a year or so old.

Well, that’s a rather ignorant question, isn’t it? I only made a reference to farmers because of your name(when did I imply that I thought you really were a farmer?) and went with that. Not only am I not a farmer, but I’m not a chef, nor am I a big meat eater, so I really don’t care much for petty little factoids about lamb and mutton. I only asked about lamb/sheep because I really didn’t think that people needed to compensate for something by acting like they were really fucking cool and/or superior for knowing such things. Of course, I should have known better..lamebook is full of people who like to tear others apart for even a slight typo.

I also find it interesting that you calmly explained it on the other page with almost no insult, but now coming over here, it’s “LOLZHGW American!!@1!” Would you have just chose to not comment on it, or would you have said, “Oh my God! I can’t believe someone from ______ didn’t know that! What an idiot!” I highly doubt it.

@ LUCY – ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED? Seriously….God only knows where the hell you are from – my guess is U.S.A – Only that can explain your attemp at a comment. Please DO NOT try to compare the education system in South Africa to the education system in the United States… I am from South Africa and I am clearly more literate than you could ever hope to be.

Excuse me for not understanding your sarcasm. But are you retarded?
Check Timmy’s comment in regards to Lucy’s comment.
Goodness, I’m the last person to get on my high horse about the sweet-land-o-liberty. But really, good sir.

Generalized statements about the IQ of a country’s inhabitants are retarded…be they European, Canadian, Americans or whatever…. ignorance and unawareness of the world around us is not the monopoly of citizens of the USA…having been all over and seen some truly uninformed people everywhere…and their pervasive arrogance that they portray regardless of nationality….makes me laugh out loud……

Only thing I will say about these folks is… stupid is as stupid does….

That’s a generalization too, but to some degree I think Americans get a hard time over this issue – but the US is a country the size of a continent, and I’d be hard pushed to put all the states in the right place on a map or name all their capitals without making any mistakes.

Let me preface my question by saying that I do not have perfect grammar (my apologies) and have far from perfect spelling. I’m also prone to typos, so please forgive me in advance for any mistakes I will inevitably make below.

To those from various countries: Are Americans the only people fascinated with the intentional misuse of punctuation and capitalization?

I am a “Yank”, and my world travel experiences are limited to Canada and Mexico. So, I’m asking purely out of curiosity.

I get furious when citizens of other nations try to qualify the education of 300 million people because they are of one nationality. Americans get ragged on because they don’t know “enough” about other countries? Sorry most of us are too busy paying attention to the problems in our OWN country. The only reason other nations know “so much” (not true) about America is because we are a superpower and constantly monitored. I sincerely doubt most Europeans have any notion of what America is really like. Most tourists I have met here and abroad, when they hear “United States” say “OH New York City!” as if NYC is the only important thing to know about America. But hey, at least they know NYC is IN America.

to mary – i agree with how ridiculous it is to stereotype 300 million Americans as stupid but the reason we know so much about America, is not because your a superpower and constantly monitored but simply because the English learn GEOGRAPHY at school, therefore we learn about the other countries and continents. Also you say “Sorry most of us are too busy paying attention to the problems in our OWN country.” Well, thats a poor excuse really cause every country has problems. England has its own problems but we still know about other countries as there are plenty worse of than America and England. You also say that most Europeans have any notion of what America is really like, well thats a bit of a generalisation of European people isnt it seeing as theres a lot of countries in Europe.. just saying.

Lucy, the point of my stereotyping was to demonstrate how stupid it is to stereotype, that the door swings both ways. I won’t make excuses for our public school system, but I always feel the need to defend my country against gross generalizations. Americans are taught geography as well and because two idiots did not learn it, the rest of the nation is saddled with their ignorance. I wasn’t excusing anyone by saying we are focused on our own country, merely giving a reason for our indifference, not ignorance, toward the goings on in other countries.

Mary, ok then thats fair enough, i just wanted to say what i said, but i don’t disagree with you. We both know stereotyping the whole of America or England for that matter ridiculous. I wasn’t saying that all Americans do not know geography i was just explaining thats why the English know alot about America. It’s fair enough you want to defend your country cause i am doing that too, but i’m not attacking America, in fact i wish all countries would get along and understand eachother, but i suppose thats not realistic.

@jelly: Oh christ, I knew I should have just replied to Patt and knocked this on the head, but I couldn’t be bothered.

Yes, I understood the original post, your comment, and all subsequent comments. Yes, I understand sarcasm – that’s why my post was dripping with it (although clearly not dripping enough – next time, I’ll be sure to put the winky face at the end).

The sarcastic nature of my post extended to my comment re: Americans. I am Australian, and live in Australia, but I think American-bashing sucks. Chill – I’m agreeing with you!

I despair, I really do. Just when I thought that people could not get dumber, this goes and proves me wrong. As an Englishman, I am gobsmacked. After all, the British did give most Americans a country, as well as a language, civilisation and the appropriate tools with which to gather resources. The least that kids like this could do in return is learn the name of our fucking Capital city.

in defense of america’s poor accent deciphering skills: america is a big place and there are a lot of people here. a lot of these other countries are either tiny geographically, or not incredibly populated. hence, the differences in accent between those places is not really all that huge, it’s just your ears are trained to pick up on them. for example, texas has more people than australia. and alabama has more people than new zealand. how many of you australians can tell the difference between a texas accent and an alabama accent?

one time in italy, i met a drunk couple from sweden. they complained about how all the americans they met thought the lived in ice hotels and had pet reindeer. they said, no we live in a city, just like everybody else. the swedes found out one person was in our group was from texas and they asked “oh do you ride a horse to school and live on a ranch?” no, my friend said. i live in a city and drive a car, like everyone else.

my point is, ignorance is everywhere but that doesnt mean everyone’s an idiot. there really are a lot of reindeer in sweden and a lot of ranches in texas. people get offended by dumb foreigners being ignorant and then do the same exact thing. there are a lot of smart people and a lot of dumb people in america, and england, ireland, australia, hungary whatever. (pretty much only idiots in new zealand though…jkjkjk)

also, @nick2 if you mean england, i’m pretty sure america didnt like england’s particular brand of democracy and, you know, started their own. so much so there was a pesky little war about it. in my opinion, as stupid as we americans seem to be, one of the greatest achievements in the history of mankind is our constitution — which pointed out england’s mistakes (at the time) and shows how to avoid them.

Oh ‘im not from texas’, you were doing so well until you decided to throw in the comment on the war of independance/constitution. All of your previous points were very well said, commendalbe and thought out, then you ruined it with a sarcastic jibe.

Yes, “i’m not from texas”, you took something great and built upon it. Good work with that, but you should acknowledge the centuries of blood and sacrifice that it took to develop it in the first place. You know that pesky little thing called the Magna Carta and so on.

im not from texas- you are greatly mistaken, england is tiny, but I cannot understand a word of what someone with a strong liverpudlian accent is saying. there is a great breadth of regional accents in Britain, some of them more recognisable than others,

that said, when I was in Nepal I stayed in the house for about a month- went to a tiny shop across the road every day and on the final day was speaking to the vendor…

‘so where are you from?’

me- ‘england, london to be precise’

vendor- ‘really! but your english is so good, I thought you must be american’…

I had an American girl once ask me if I was from Paris, London, she then said, “My husband’s fighting in Iran”, I said “Iraq”? “Yeah somewhere in Asia”….
I also had an American guy say to me,(in English), “I wish I could speak English”.
These people are real and out there, scary.
I’m not a Geography professor but then again I would be able to find my own arse if it was on fire, unlike some of these people I suspect probably would die a painful fiery death.

ok first of all i just want to say whoever alex and mel are, they are dumb shits. i’m absolutely horrified to say that we live in the same country. even if this was set up to get her attention, it is almost worse because no one in their right mind should want to depict themselves in such a negative light to get this sort of attention. but i also want to say that this is not TYPICAL American behavior… yes, we do have a lot of shit for brains citizens living here but their lack of intellect shouldn’t reflect on our country as a whole.

This could well be real, and silly people don’t only exist in the USA. In my first year of Uni one girl at my hostel seriously said this: “So, did the Nazis win? I never really looked it up.”
Faith in mankind: forever shaken!

I totally get what you’re saying but I am and Aussie and while we might not have as many people living here as in the US, our country is about the same size. I might not be able to tell the diff between Texas and Alabama accents but I can tell when someone has an American accent (and I doubt you could tell the difference between a northern and southern aussie accent).

But seriously English and French accents are totally different, it’s not about how small a country is its about how stupid people are and how ignorant they are of the rest of the world (that may sound a little harsh but I’m only referring to the Alex-Mel minorities of the world)

This is sounding familiar… I’m English and always wondered why the guy in the seven eleven in Vancouver used to talk to me in French, until one day he asked me where I was from. When I said England, he said “that’s near Paris, right?”. My response: “Well, I guess you could say that. England is fairly close to France.” was met with a confused look. Turns out he (and all of his friends) were convinced that England was a town in France. I’m not saying I know everything about everywhere… but really?

After connecting to a flight in Minneapolis on her way to to Germany, my Grandmother sat beside someone that was from Duluth, Minnesota. The woman asked her where she was from, my Grandmother replied “Thunder Bay”. The woman asked where was that? My Grandmother replied “Ontario”. Still confused the woman asked her where that was. My Grandmother then replied. “Canada”. The woman still confused asked “where is that?”
I believe the story.

i always thought we english were quite aware of the world, but my gf proved me wrong the other day. i was telling her me and my mates were planning a trip to sweden for new years and she could bring her friends if she wanted to. she said ‘yeahh i love sweden!!’ followed by, ‘thats near france isn’t it?’
i said ‘no, i think you’re thinking of switzerland..’. she said, oh ‘wheres that, is that the one near spain?’
times like these it’s easier just to say yes.
i wouldn’t mind if she was just dense but she has a BSc!

um maybe they confuse french accents with british ones since they learn to speak in a british accent? But I still do not believe that. Some people pride themselves on being dumb though. I can’t believe how many posted here saying people have seriously confused the two…I feel like this is a big prank…all you people faked this post and then commented here trying to prove it’s true!

Christ you Americans make me laugh.
I really think after such abominations such as alooominum (Its Aluminium) and Doodie (Duty god damnit)that it should be the DUTY of every american to at least work out that english comes from England. We may be the UK to you but it kinda stands to reason to follow logic to find out what language a nation speaks. China – Chinese, France – French, Armenia – Armenian.
ENGLAND – ENGLISH!

@170 i’d be irritated by your comment but oddly enough i’m trapped in this idiot hell hole…it’s has it’s hilarious perks (just look at this website) but half the time it’s like you’re a lone survivor trapped amongst an idiot zombie horde…and if you get bitten, instead of dying, you contract crabs….or an insatiable appetite for bugles chips….help me…

@rick
just watched your video and there is no excuse for how stupid and ignorant most Americans are…

To the ppl who posted this:
You’re in a fucking library!!! find an atlas!!! but I know you would probably respond “Whats an atlas???” so I will just say in advance that there is no hope for your kind of ppl… London, France WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!! suppose you vacationed in Paris, UK or Athens, Italy … or fucking Berlin, Norway…

Don’t judge all, or most, of Americans on these morons or stupid videos people put on the internet. Haven’t you noticed that dumb people from all nations have a tendency to use little discretion when displaying their idiocy?

One, I’d like to see a “pop survey” of rural English (e.g.). It’s not clear that the average American’s level of ignorance is exceptional. Standardized testing DOES show that we consistently underachieve, but it’s not clear that such test results are either accurate measures of occupancy-related intellectual aptitude or that they measure other important components of personality like work ethic or creativity. And for those who claim anecdotal evidence, keep in mind that you entered these situations expecting your stereotype to be confirmed.

Two, Facebook is an American company. The internet is an American invention. Why hasn’t your country of origin–which is presumably less “ignorant”–developed superior alternatives?

In sum: who doesn’t like to trash his boss? A soothing balm for an inferiority complex if ever there was one.

To substantiate that last bit of psychology, here’s a typical anti-American rant:

“Christ you Americans make me laugh.
I really think after such abominations such as alooominum (Its Aluminium) and Doodie (Duty god damnit)that it should be the DUTY of every american to at least work out that english comes from England. We may be the UK to you but it kinda stands to reason to follow logic to find out what language a nation speaks. China – Chinese, France – French, Armenia – Armenian.
ENGLAND – ENGLISH!”

Yeah. Clearly our twelve year olds don’t give the UK enough respect. You guys are very important and everybody here respects you.

By the way, the Chinese don’t speak “Chinese.” Do you mean Mandarin (putonghua)? Cantonese (guangdonghua)? Any of the other dozen-odd major dialects? I guess in this situation it may not “stand to reason to follow logic to find out what language a nation speaks” (prose as lush and evocative as it is lucid).

A strange thing, how stupid people derive pleasure from calling other stupid people stupid.

^I’ve lived in America before, but come from Finland, and one of the best questions I was ever asked was if we have….. electricity in Finland. To which we answered yes, but whenever we want to use the computer for example, one person has to sit on a bike and pedal to generate the electricity while another person uses the computer, and then they switch. They BELIEVED us.

But tbh, it’s not just Americans. I was talking to a British girl once, who was probably in her mid-20s, who asked what nationality I am. I said Finnish, to which she replied, “Oh cool, where do Finnish people come from?” Uh, Finland? “Sweet, so do you speak English in Finland? “Well we learn it, but we mainly speak Finnish.” “Cool, cool, where IS Finland?” “Next to Sweden.” “……….cool.”

I live in Scotland and I’ve spoken to a lot of American people who say England when they mean the whole of the United Kingdom, including my American friend who lives here. I’ve also seen this on T.V. The United Kingdom is made up of FOUR countries…Scotland, England, Northern Ireland and Wales. It also includes lots of small islands. I wouldn’t say New York if I was talking about the whole of the United States of America.

[...] After reading something online, i don't think Americans know where are a lot of places in UK Lamebook – Funny Facebook Statuses, Fails, LOLs and More – The Original I See London, I … Signatures are visible to registered members only. [...]

My son asked me the other day why we speak English and not Australian, since we live in Australia and not England. He’s 6. I only hope these people are younger than that and are in possession of some amazing typing skills.

ok i have a lot to say but i read a lot so i think i’m entitled to it.

@173 i laughed so hard. i’m pretty sure that was the only funny post in this entire thread. the other nearly 200 just made me die a little inside….

@183 fun fact: china is on their way to passing up america as the largest english speaking country in the world.

@189 yeah except the entire UK fits inside of the state of oregon and the population of the UK is about the same as the population of texas and california put together. i’d say bad comparison.

@everyone i’m an american that has met plenty of stupid people that live here and done the exact same thing that all of you have. it’s really not that hard. the difference between most americans and apparently most of you is that while we don’t know much about your countries at least we’re trying to be nice. every one of these stories is about a local trying to learn about where you are from. these ignoramuses are trying to expand their knowledge while you are just being smug and superior. just a thought guys, maybe we’d care more about you guys if you weren’t being douche bags.

and i knew before this thread that london was part of england and not france.

one last thing, i don’t get why guessing an accent incorrectly is such an offense. you sound like you’re from somewhere else. big deal. my brother had a speech impediment for years and everyone thought he was from somewhere else even though i spoke the exact same as the people asking the question. and we looked alike it wasn’t like he was a little african boy or something. as has been said before, stupidity abounds everywhere, it’s just advertised more in america.