I got a new camera phone recently and have only just got around to figuring out how to plug the memory card into the computer. So, here are a lot of pics of my recent meals. Enjoy.

Hot dogs, with a wide selection of toppings.

A kebab from Chilli Massala. Its lamb tika, very tasty. There is more meat on it than is shown in the pic. In my haste to eat it I forgot to move the salad aside for the photo.

Steak with a selection of veg.

A simple meal of sausage and eggs.

My home made lasagne. Very cheesy.

I felt like I should eat some veg one day so here is a chicken salad I made. Features a lot of coldslaw.

Another giant pie from the giant pie shop.

I went to the food and drink festival in Manchester and had this rather tasty treat. Spanish meat balls.

Behold, the Pie Dinner from The Trawlerman chippy. Its a beast! That is the colour that all mushy peas should be.

This is a bit of a "what have I got in the freezer/ fridge that needs eating" meal. It is peppers, spinach, broccoli, some roast chicken, 2 duck eggs with hoi sin sauce and 2 drops of insanity sauce for an extra kick. All stir fried together.

It would appear the Waterfields Choice is Hitler. I am lead to believe that its supposed to be Frankenstiens creation.

Time for another load of pics. I really should download my camera more often.

Todays breakfast. Bacon, mushrooms, egg on a chibatta.

A take away from the Sizzle In. Choriso burger, fired chicken, chicken wings, chips and a drink. Not bad for £6. I should have made it look more photogeniuc but I was too hungry to be messing about.

Cumberland sausages on english muffins, with cheese.

Hot dogs and chips. I must say, micro chips have improved a hell of a lot. They used to be seriously crap but now they are quite passable.

Gammon, eggs and crinkle cut chips.

Fish fingers with cheese and mayo inside freshly baked rolls.

Xmas dinner. The meat was duck served with the usual veg.

This is what me and Kate refer to as a "nibbley" tea. Lots of bits n bobs, like a buffet.

Pigs in blankets need tobreak free of their side-kick status. They have earned the right to be the main meat of a meal. Please, help to spread the word. Next time someone suggests making a roast dinner, while they are deciding on turkey, chicken or beef, plant the seed of pigs in blankets. Lots of them! It should also be noted that they work just as well with full sized sausages.

A fry up from the Orchard Cafe.

A chille dog from Chilli Jacks.

A Chimmychanga from chilli Jacks.

A big gammon buttie.

A bacon and black pudding buttie.

Some grilled white fish with cheese and veg.

The next few are a rather tasty tea that kate made. Its chicken in a red wine sauce with mushrooms, shallots and green beans. With a home made banoffe pie for pudding.

This was a kind of "what have I got in" meal. Its burger and chips but using up some fruit bread and crumpetts that needed eating. It worked surprisingly well.

A food coma is when you have eaten so much that your body shuts down all functions aside from digestion and the basics to keep you alive. To be in one feels like you are awake and asleep at the same time. You just sit and stare into space, seeing but not comprehending, or caring about, what is going on. Breathing and heart rate slow down to similar levels as those you have when asleep but the body needs to keep digestion going at a more rapid rate. Normally, when you are actually asleep, digestion is slowed down along with everything else. A food coma keeps you awake because your body won't let you fully relax because a) it wants to digest the food and b) it is likely that the energy from the fats and sugars, from the excessive amount you have just eaten, are getting into your system and keeping you fueled up. These would be the fats and sugars from the start of the meal. To enter a food coma requires eating quite a lot so it is often the case that your body has already begun to process the food from the becining of the meal before you reach the end. I would think it unlikely that you could enter a food coma without first eating for at least 30 mins, constantly.

To induce a food coma I would recommend a massive fry up. Something like this for example :

Or lots of chinese take away food. Something that has a high fat and sugar content as well as plenty of carbohydrate. Fiber is optional. It will help with the passing of the food but isn't essential to coma inducement. It is best to put a film on the TV as you begin to eat and make sure you are on the sofa. Don't try to induce a coma at the dining table and never try to do it in a restaurant. You will not be able to walk properly. I once went into a coma at pizza hut, it wasn't good. I had to be helped to the car and kate had to drive home. Anyway, aside walking you won't be able to move your arms much so thats why you need to put a film on as eating begins. Once in the coma you will find it very difficult to reach for the remote or even to press the buttons on it. Plus you won't really care, so long as whats on is mildly entertaining you will just mong out and watch it. I would also recommendhaving a pint of water handy. After so much food, you will probably be thirsty but you won't be able to walk to the kitchen to get a drink. It will be tough but you should be able to force yourself to reach forward to a coffee table. It will be exhausting though. Never induce a coma if you have stuff to do, it won't get done. You should set aside at least 2 hours for the effects to pass. 4 hours before any strenuous task is undertaken.

To be honest, I've never tried to induce a food coma before, they just tend to happen. If you try it, let me know how you get on.

I've uploaded my phone photos again so here is another pictorial guide to what I have been eating over the last few months.

It amuses me at buffets when they give you tiny plates, thinking "They won't be able to hog all the food, the plate is too small". Well, thats wrong Mr Buffet Supplier, you can't restric the upward build and stop me from piling it on, or going back to do it again!

Char sui egg foo young and chips.

Sausages and potato.

A tasty bacon egg and mushroom buttie.

Half pound burger, chips and a chop sui roll. Not had one of those in years. Nice.

A close up of the burger. Meat goodness.

I can't remember what was in this. Some kind of left overs I think. Edit : just remembered, it was spam.

This one is a bit dark, not sure how it will look when posted. This is venison in a black current sauce with rosemarry roast potato. Well tasty. From the Swan pub.

This isn't something I ate, it's just a crappy sign from up the road from my house. Looking at the pic of a horrible looking microwave meal, I think 2 for £10 is a bit steep. You could probably get 2 for a fiver in Asda.

This is a steak, stilton and mushroom pie I tried to make. It was a bit of a fail to be honest. I still ate it though.

This, however, was a win. I got a set of seasonings for xmas so I applied them to the wings. Only £1.80 for a poack of 12 plain wings. Added to it was a galrlic bread and some sauces and salad left over from an indian take away the night before. Tasty and filling.

Pie with veg, mash and a swimming pools worth of gravy.

Kate's chicken in red wine again.

Sausage and cheese buttie. The sausages were well tasty, cherry wood smoked. Only 56p for 8, in the reduced section at the petrol station.