My Team Went To The ALCS And All I Got Was A Free Taco

Hard to believe there is still baseball being played and our team isn’t a part of it. I look at the Rays and still can’t believe…never mind. So, with snow flurries in the forecast (and yes, it’s only October), maybe a free taco can help ease the pain. Or at least shift it to the lower abdomen.

Thanks to Jason Bartlett, America gets a free taco today. Even Red Sox fans. Hit up your local colon cleansing shack between 2:00 and 6:00 today. Jason explains the magic of helping everyone on the road to gastric instability:

“When I was running back out to the field for defense after the fifth inning, I was told that Taco Bell was going to give everyone in America a free taco,” said Bartlett. “The first thing that crossed my mind was all of my buddies back home in California who are probably on their way to Taco Bell that very minute. It’s pretty cool. I’m sure I’m going to get more than a few text messages from my friends thanking me for winning them a taco, I guess.”

Not as cool as the epic free taco debate that took place in the dugout last year between Royce Clayton (yeah, he actually was on the Red Sox) and Coco Crisp. By the way, unconfirmed reports are that it is Julio Lugo in the taco costume pictured above.

Royce: You said if somebody steals a base in the World Series…

Coco: The first time somebody steals a base… Taco Bell is gonna give one taco… to everybody in America.

Royce: To everybody what?

Coco: In America.

Royce: That day?

Coco: I dunno… ::laughs, mumbles something unintelligible::

Royce: What the hell you talkin’ bout? It’s gotta be that day.

Coco: But there’s only like two hours left in the day at that point.

Royce: So what? That’s what the deal has to be. How you gonna come in and say, “I ain’t got my taco!” You could go to every Taco Bell in the world and say that. “I didn’t get my taco!” How they gonna know?

*Transcribed verbatim (give or take a word) from last year’s World Series broadcast. Somebody, please give these guys their own Fox series, stat!