On Monday at 11.29 my latest niece was born. Mother and child are doing fine and the dad (my brother) is beginning to calm down a bit. It is their first child and they really don´t know what they are about to embrace. I asked; the child did not come with an instruction manual and the first time I called my sister-in-law, the little baby girl started to cry so the mother had to put down the phone, stop talking to me and focus on the little attention stealer. Good luck, parents! I mean that.

This little baby girl, was ready to greet this world and give it the benefit of the doubt, way back in March. The doctor stopped it and sorta pushed her right back in. My sister-in-law was due over a week ago and I guess little baby girl simply felt rejected and started to wallpaper the inside of the womb, ready to ignore the birth canal and create her own religion, when the doctor decided to induce labor. Two hours later she was there, 53 cm and equipped with my brother´s ears and mouth…or so I am told. I really hope she got some of her mother´s features ,too… ‘cause that nose on a girl…

Now, I am the oldest of my siblings. We are seven. Five grandchildren have been awarded to my mother as of today. Neither one of them from me. I used to get all sorts of crab from my mother about the lack of reproduction at an age she deemed appropriate. Finally my younger sister started to multiply and I thought that would be the end of the pressure from aforementioned grandma. Little did I know. There are three sides attacking me now…and you used to wonder why I moved to Iceland of all places. It´s nothing to do with the rotten shark meat, it´s the frozen phone lines that make my life easier.

As an excited aunt, I of course, inquired about the name. Caroline. Ok…I can make my peace with that. Any middle name you care to announce, like anything in direction of Monika? Nope, no middle name. Let me get this straight: I have 4 nieces now…neither of which carries a reference to the great family patriarch that is me? Upon illuminating my brother on his oversight, he just laughed. Was it something I said?

I can´t wait to see her in the beginning of July, though. Hold her, smell her hair and discuss with her the levels of “googlegoo”, “yum yums” and “beddie byes” that we deem appropriate. Make thousands of pictures, trying to capture her first smile and gently, but convincingly, make her sign a contract to stay away from guys until the age of 19. When we get to the situation of an “oopsie-daisy!” , however, I´ll pass her on to the nearest-by standing parent and announce: “ I´m outta here!”

At the end of my conversation with my brother I left him with these little jokes, and assured him, it´ll get easier with the next one or the one after that…either one of which he should feel free to name Monika, if proper gender applies. Otherwise, I just call Godmother!

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Congratulations on becoming an auntie again, dearest Penguin! while i sat here laughing at these “observations” it occurred to me that this is exactly the reason i stopped at two, and opted for dogs. in the end, i believe we made a wise and/or prudent decision! 😉 xox

Actually, Minka, I think you’re just chicken. (Is that what penguin tastes like …?) Of course, it does take two, and if you’re collecting spaghetti-haired, purple-painted, terra cotta statues in your garden, it’s not going to get you anywhere. Oh? that’s the point?

The really sad part is how soon you get used to all those nappy changes …

Congratulations sweet pingüinita! I am sure she will gogglegoo away for her favorite auntie once you guys meet FO SHO! But 19? As a mother I can attest to the fact that the age of 43 might be a preferable one for the contract… ok… make it 62… um, on second thought, up that a little and… *sigh* I can’t even go there I tell you! 😉

As for the clothes, I am happy to report that never did I wear ANY maternity clothes during either pregnancy… nope, not gonna do it I tell ya and thanks to SF’s faboo second hand stores many faboo and hippie clothes were had (stretch is where it’s at FO SHO!) at VERY affordable prices!

I did nothing other than my regular yoga routine and avoided breathing classes and whatnot like the plague because a) I figured that once the pain kicked in all theories would be shot to shit (and they were!) and b) I had a total aversion to pregnant women and was freaked out when surrounded by them (I know, I know but there you have it!)…

As for the rest, ha, ha, haaaa and oh so true (though knock on wood, spit three times, throw salt over your shoulder, dance a jiggie jig jig) but thankfully, no coins have been swallowed or stuck up any noses in this here household! Phew! THAT would freak me out! Nope… my bohemian babies come equipped with wallets and they like money too much to mess with it! Oy! 😉

Faboo post sweet amiga and here’s hoping that you get to see that sweet little lady soon!!!!

Congratulations to you wonderful auntie! Those observations on life with kids and the loosening of standards sounds just about right. I do remember when Julian was born and I’d put him in to sleep during the daytime. Suddenly I might see the door to the bedroom open – hmmm, interesting. I’d go in on more than one occassion to find Tali giving the bassinet a “gentle” rocking. Well, we all survived in tact – so far.

I think you should have your own version of the Nanny 911 show – Auntie 911. Think about it.

Excellent post Auntie Minka (has a nice ring to it). Let me just say children are the gift that just keeps on giving…and giving…and giving…etc…god bless ’em (delivered with just the slightest hint of sarcasm). Over the years I have become convinced that if couples were to adopt dogs before having children they might think twice about the latter. To the best of my knowledge, dogs never wreck cars, do drugs (at least not knowingly) or date psycho hose beasts. They rarely talk back and are always glad to see you and spend time with you. Just saying.

Well the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon;
“When you comin’ home, son?”
“I don’t know when,
“But we’ll get together then, Dad,“You know we’ll have a good time then.”

Enhorabuena! That’s the best way to have kids, you get to enjoy them and then give them back to their parents for all the crying, diaper changes, snotty noses, etc. You just get to have fun being the cool aunt. Those observations are not only funny but absolutely true, yup, that’s the only way not to go crazy. I hope you enjoy that sweet little niece, even if she’s not named Monika (and just think of all the practice you’ll be getting for the future…).

lampsha…my own show. I´ve been thinking about it. I could fill 10 series easy. But who´d take my word for it? Single and childless?

Nessa, interesting…*gets the phone to give her brother a ring*

Bobo, just a tad bitter. Speaking from experience? And “Sieben, sieben ailulu” how was that. My fingers hurt from stitching the costume 😉

Oc, that was bitter-sweet too. Maybe I should hand out muffins or something?

Logo, thank you. I wanna skip to stage two too. Fortunately, twins run in my family 🙂

Theresa, true, but I do wonder if I can create such cuteness as my nieces already are, minus the stretch marks of course. I really think my sister should share, she has four…I got none! Not fair!!! I used to give her my pudding way back when we were tiny and small!

ariel, you have a child? I had no idea! By the by, when is your blog opening? Joke!

Penguin: i’m such a nerd! i thought Bobo was talking about what you should wear when you visit your nieces — forgetting, of course, the “performance” of acts from Eurovision you’ve promised to do on your next visit. so the hat and parrot — in my head — were to be part of your “crazy auntie” attire, not your Eurovision Performer Extraordinaire Ensemble.

that said, i think you’d make a perfectly lovely wench and/or heroine in the next round of Caribbean Pirate films! 😉 xox

I’m sure your sister will share temporarily, otherwise you can borrow mine for a few days. My family is originally Dutch, so my kids already know how to say Tante (It’s the same in German right?) – They can call you Tante Minka, or you can teach them the Icelandic word if you want (It’s all good with me). As I said, this is the best way to have kids, you get all the fun and your sister gets all the dirty work.