Overall we get along ok but we don't spend much time together. I like it that way, it works. She has occasionally babysat without problems, like twice a year or so.

She just dropped by, out of the sky, no call, nothing, which I already find very rude but whatever. I let that one slide, already letting her know I'm about to get the kids ready for bed aka "you got a few minutes".

So we're talking, showing her ODS (my DSS) school project, all dandy.

I went in the bedroom to change YDS and get him ready for bed and I hear from the living room "Get off of me or I'll pop you, I have a headache"... "Stop playing with me, [ODS], I don't want you on me right now, I'm gonna beat your butt". ODS giggling, obviously being annoying but not getting that grandma is serious.

We don't spank. We don't "pop". EVER. ODS is 8 years old and nobody has ever put his hands on him, not DH, not his own mom, and not me.

I say, without coming out of the bedroom, in a half joking tone "nobody gets their butt beat in our house".

Her response "then I'll take him in the hallway to beat him".

Me (serious now) "I don't think so, our kids don't get beaten"

Her: "He's not listening and if I say he's gonna get popped, he'll get popped"

I almost blew a gasket!!!!

I picked up YDS mid diaper change, went into the doorway, looked at her and said, very calmly "No."

ODS had gotten off the couch in the meantime and was sitting next to it on the floor. She looked over to him, back to me, back to him, as if I was talking to him. So, to clarify, I said "I'm talking to you. No. Nobody beats our kids. Not me, not DH, and definitely not anyone else. Those are our kids, you are not the parent. You can spank your kids, not mine."

She looked like she got smacked in the face.

ODS had the biggest smile in the world on his face... Lol...

She grabbed her bag and said "I think it's best if I go", I said "Yes, I think so" and she left in a huff.

I told ODS that nobody ever has a right to put their hands on them and if anyone ever was to he has to tell us right away and we'll take care of it.
He gave me a big hug and said ok.

Seriously, what the fuck???

I was so mad, I was still shaking 5 minutes later. I'm very, very proud of the way I handled it, I was so mad, I could have choked her!

Guess we will have to reconsider who we ask to babysit for us on the off-chance that we ever go on a date again...

I can't believe she challenged me like that!!!!! That was crazy!

I honestly expected her to play it off and let it go but she went into full on battle mode.

DH isn't home yet but I know he'll back me 100%, he'd CO his mom is she ever actually hit our sons. I'm sure she's already blowing up his phone.

what did your dh say about you "undermining her authority"? Also I agree you ods totally had a right to smile, she threatened to beat him! And I love the who does she think she is crap! Um your the mom thats who you think you are! Stupid woman!

DH doesn't engage his mom when she's on her whiney crap. He let's her bla bla it all out, recaps the important stuff and let's her know what'll happen next. I wasn't there for the call but from experience and what he told me I believe it was something like this:

DH: "alright, so ODS should have listened better but you know better than to threaten to beat him, we don't spank, neither do you, that crosses a line. Margot was right, you're the grandmother, not the parent. You'll have to apoligize to both of them and ODS will apologize for not listening to you"

MIL "but wah wah..."

DH "I don't need the drama, yall just need to get along, you know better, I'll talk to you later"

Adding: MIL is not open to correction and improvement. She raised her kids the way she was raised and her parents were raised and never questioned it. To her it's expected that grandparents help raise and discipline the children, it doesn't help that BILs and SILs use MIL for free babysitting and all spank/pop their kids. DN used to call MIL "mommy" because SIL left him there 12+ hrs every day and over night.

So it's somewhat a revolutionary concept that we are not joining the dysfunctional family circus.

It makes no sense to break it down to her that there's no "authority" because she thinks she should have authority just because she's older and related to us.

So it's best to just ignore that nonsense. She can have all the authority she wants in her head, it's not like she actually has any pull around here.

omg. gold start to you!!!!!! stupid bitch. Who the fuck does she think she is? We don't spank or pop in our house either, and if anyone thought they had the right to do so with MY kids, they'd be tossed out on their ear before they could excuse themselves.

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(.)(.) Diamond!Tandem! EBF

"I don't expect everything in life handed to me. Just set it down wherever. " -MandyLuv5's gifshare