Internet Dating Sucks

Internet Dating Sucks. I don’t care what site you try, they all suck. Internet dating has done nothing but make the process of dating even worse. You are now a commodity. You’re disposable, because the jerk that just “ghosted” you is scamming on 4 or 5 other women at the same time he’s been talking to you. Women are no better. They have picked up the same deplorable habits.

For those of you that are unaware, because of the internet, when someone is online looking for a prospective mate, they now have not just a few possibilities, but hundreds, possibly thousands! You may think this is a good thing, but it’s NOT.

Because of the vast number of possible partners out there, internet dating has turned into this very ugly thing. People will not make a commitment. I’m not talking about walking down the aisle. I’m talking about dating a person, or persons, to see where that relationship is going to go. They can’t do it.

There is too much Candy out there. People become addicted to the rush. They become addicted to the whole process. Meeting someone, the online pictures, texting, etc., etc.

I’ve been “Ghosted, Submarined, Catfished, Benched”, you name it and it’s probably happened.

For those that have no idea what I’m talking about, Ghosting is when you’ve seen someone, possibly more than once, or you’ve communicated with them several times and everything is going fine. Then, for no reason that you can figure out, they just vanish. Poof, they’re gone. They no longer answer your calls or texts and they no longer try to communicate with you. You’ve been Ghosted.

Catfished is when the person you are communicating with has a completely made up profile. Everything from the pictures to the occupation to the physical description, all made up. I guess this is some kind of sick fantasy that they are acting out. With you as the unsuspecting victim. Sometimes these made up profiles are scammers trying to get money from you.

Benching is when you’ve dated someone a few times, but they suddenly will no longer see you in person. They will continue to call or text you, but that’s it. What they are doing is playing out other options, seeing other people. But they want to keep you on the hook.

Submarining is when someone you’ve dated disappears, but then resurfaces weeks or even months later. They act like no time has passed and have no apology for the disappearance. This sometimes will mean that a secondary involvement that happened during or after being with you didn’t work out so they want to try it with you again.

There are other terrible dating trends too. Cuffing Season, Breadcrumbing, Exing, Textationship, Cusioning and more. I won’t go into all the explanations here. If you are really curious a quick search will give you the answers.

I’m a mature woman. I do not troll the bars. My social circle is quite small. I’m an introvert. Generally, I go to work and come home. Internet dating is not the answer.

I loved reading this. I can totally relate on all levels. I am not into the internet dating either it literally is a huge waste of space but you already know that. I learned some new words thanks to you. Totally have dealt with all those and had no idea what they were called.. well the last two anyways!

While I don’t seek romance on the Internet, I have been ghosted, in a sense, by someone who was very intense on here, until her real life boyfriend got involved and found me some sort of a threat. I see they’ve both gone “poof”. BTW, I’ve read your subsequent post, and see nothing wrong with calling people out for not being up front, when it comes to relationships.

What an excellent post Penny – l tried POF years ago, and hated the whole experience, l wasn’t even aware of these terms but l am very familiar with the descriptions. It is just one big online cattle market and after trying and trialling it, l decided to turn vegetarian!

I laughed so hard at “submarining”! I’ve never heard that term until now. Its also awful but funny. Online dating is so hard and takes sooooo much work. I’ve dated a lot- I’ve gone on lots of first dates, but nothing has stuck yet. The more I do it, the more I realize how hard it is to find someone you truly get along with because there are just so many people in the world. It can be overwhelming. Love your blog!

Here’s the thing Penny, internet dating, like anything else is what you make of it. I have so many rants about internet dating after having done it for so long. I often wonder how many people go on dating sites but don’t actually use it. Don’t log on, don’t try to meet people, etc. They treat it like a gym membership they don’t use. I was on jdate for a long time, and I have to tell you, there were months I logged on and saw the same 2 (yes 2!) women logged on in my area every night. 1 barely wanted to talk to me, the other not my type. What’s the point of being on a dating site if you don’t use it? Much less the people who can’t receive messages because they are not paying members? Look, here’s the point. internet dating needs to be a tool for people, not the end all be all they make it out to be. Use the internet but get out of your house and go meet people. You’ll have better luck.

UGH…I can sooo relate. Its terrible. I think online dating and these apps have ruined love and romance. Its made people lazy daters. Too much available for sure makes people indecisive and think that there might always be something better around the corner. Ive just given it up for like the 100th time, but this is it for sure this time. It was getting too depressing and making me feel insecure. Its not fun, and I dont like to do things that arent fun. Best of luck to the both of us! I have faith!!!

I think the internet ruined romance too. Met my wife online and FB helped tear us apart. The internet giveth and the internet taketh away. Lasted 7 years and have been divorced since 2011 and hardly no dates.
I find online dating awful. So if you get back on and try again. Think about how your self summary sounds to potential dates. So many sound extremely picky that it keeps me from trying. Most women put things that they hate from online dating. Leave the negativity out. Makes you sound bad. And women are just as shallow as men. So I quit…again. When I say again I mean that every couple of years I go online to some dating site and once I start reading women’s self summaries I decide to quit again. It’s only getting worse and the common theme is everything they don’t want.

I wish I’d never published that post. I did state in my post that women are just as bad and have the same deplorable habits as men do. I was not trying to pick on the men. Just for your edification, many, many men also have a laundry list of what they DON’T want. It sucks from both sides. Men and women. Not going back. No way. I’m done. Thank you for the visit!

I’m happy to say I haven’t caved and gone back to online apps. It’s just not for me. When I was doing it my profile was always positive and a good representation of me. I would come across many men’s profiles that had laundry lists of what they want and soooo many comments that would make me think they were negative people. So I see what you mean. Online has stunted people and makes lazy daters. Everyone seems to be looking for the bigger better deal. I wish you luck! Don’t give up- Love is out there for all of us!❤️

I had an online dating profile for 2 years. I referred to it as job interviewing and it could be time consuming and heart breaking. I wish blogging was big back then because I would have had a lot of fodder for a blog. I decided to not renew my subscription at the end of the month and I did wink at a guy that had just joined. Fast forward 12 years and we are very happily married and have carved a nice life for ourselves. Don’t give up. it’s like job interviewing – have certain features you won’t bend on, be flexible on others, and the players – block them. My husband is not the type of man I ever dated or found interesting (he wore jewelry and nice clothes and had a girlie side) but he’s the most wonderful thing to happen to me.

No matter how you meet someone they can do some of these things. I have tried regular dating and internet dating for 4 years. I had one boyfriend I met through POF and though we didn’t work out, he was great. I have made many friends but there have been some bad dates and many frogs. Lots of ghosting. I keep thinking about giving up but keep haphazardly looking for a decent date again.
I am reblogging, too.

Dating in general is challenging! I recommend looking up Matthew Hussey. He wrote “Get the Guy” which I thought was great and he has all kinds of solid advice on dating through his website and YouTube channel. He helped me put a lot of things into perspective. I hope you find something that works for you!

I’m sorry for all of these negative experiences. Just to assure you that not all internet dating is bad, I know some couples who met online and are happily married.

Some pretty awful stories exist out there, too, among people who met in person, without internet dating. Unfortunately, there will always be people who don’t care, who manipulate, who charm, who whatever…

I was one of the lucky ones. I met my wife on a dating site that no longer exists. However, before I found my princess, I had to kiss a few frogs on the site. There were a few scare stories even then. There was a group of women who whenever one of the group met someone on line, others from that group would contact him to see if he was faithful. There were some men who were just as bad. If I was ever single again, I would stay away from internet dating.

Penny, Loved your post and can empathize to be sure!! So many new terms to learn. I hope there won’t be a quiz! I look at my Beloved when being left behind comes up and make her promise that I get to go first! She won’t. We both have expressed the horror show that is online dating or dating at all. I vote for the Notebook Option!

Having said all that, we met online in 1998. She was very brave and contacted me without a photo. I guess my four word banner intrigued her! Ha! My personal opinion and advice to those seeking contact online is to try and find someone that was happily married forever until they lost their spouse to death and then email nonstop until they either fall away or have to meet you. I’m sure we were very lucky (winners in the lotto of love) but I’ve know quite a number of people that have found and have successful marriages from online dating. I think putting everything you are wanting out there should be designed to scare off Lookie Lou’s!

I think if I was ever faced with being single again I think your solution is probably the best. Just be happy with our little Cavalier King Charles Spaniel!
xoxo

You might find a conventional/traditional dating agency rather more predictable, in that they (the reputable ones) will personally do an initial interview with their clients which takes away some of the guesswork. I used one a long time ago with mediocre success, but it was expensive. Would I use one again? I doubt it. The cost did not justify the end result.