Tuesday, January 1, 2008

It's a brand spang-new year, so let's start off on the right foot by regaling you with the story of my protest from late November! There's 2 reasons I've waited until now to go into detail about it: 1) It was covered by others right after it happened, and I wanted to save up my joy over this successful event until after the coverage died down, to keep it in the spotlight longer. 2) I didn't want to be interrogated by prying busybodies who would inevitably accuse me of sticking my proboscis where it didn't belong. The fact is, however, that I was invited to this protest, because folks in my area know I take the issue of youth confinement facilities very seriously.

The protest occurred outside Kids Helping Kids, a right-wing cult outside Cincinnati. KHK truly is a cult. Here's just one site that describes KHK's abuse and torture:

KHK's antics have gone on for years, but hardly anything has ever been done about it by the authorities. Part of the problem is that Ohio laws pretty much let facilities for youths go almost uncontrolled.

From memory, here's what happened at our demonstration: About 10 of us gathered on the public sidewalk outside KHK, carrying signs. It was bitter cold that evening, so I made sure to bundle up in 3 jackets! Many motorists honked in agreement when they saw us. Police drove past several times but did not break up our protest. I guess that township still has a First Amendment (unlike Covington, Kentucky, where police recently busted a pro-union rally that took place on public property).

Because it gets dark early this time of year, we eventually had to rely on car headlights for our message to be seen. But it worked like a charm!

The problem with these events is that someone always decides to crash them. (It happened in 2000 when Bush's followers crashed the "Count The Vote" rally I went to outside Cincinnati City Hall.) This time, about 5 KHK cultists - young and old - appeared with signs of their own. A middle-aged man who looked a little bit like Kenny Rogers pulled up in a car, got out of his vehicle, and lunged towards us like a maniac. "What's your beef?! What's your beef?!" he angrily declared. At first I thought he said, "Where's the beef?! Where's the beef?!"

I was so close to telling him what I thought about his diatribe that my upper teeth touched my lower lip in preparation for a comeback starting with the letter 'f' - but he sped away.

Another middle-aged man holding a sign supporting KHK also tried to start a fight with us, by sneering at one of our crew, "You manipulator, you manipulator!"

My, how adult. It just goes to show what type of people KHK has on its side.

It was around that time that a member of our gathering took a break and brang us some hot chocolate to warm us up!

Then came the highlight of the evening. A fella who was maybe in his late teens was seen riding in a car yelling through a megaphone. But since the car windows were up, we couldn't hear what he was saying. Then the vehicle dropped him off outside KHK, and he began yelling the slogans from both our signs and those of KHK's supporters through his megaphone. In addition to the noise, this individual kept running into the road in front of traffic. Some of KHK's backers turned to us and asked, "Who is this guy?"

It was then clear to us what was going on: He was someone summoned by KHK to try to set us up by making it look like he was on our side. But his cover was blown by the fact that he was yelling slogans of both supporters and opponents of KHK! He dangerously darted across the road, not to be seen again. Then the police came (probably because someone called them because of all the noise from the megaphone).

What happened next confirmed our belief that the guy with the megaphone was a KHK cultist trying to frame us. The policeman approached a car idling in KHK's driveway and warned that he'd have to tow it if it wasn't moved. The car was positioned to make it look like it belonged to one of our crew. But then one of KHK's supporters piped up and said, "But it's ours."

Oops!

To add insult to injury over this failed frame-up, the cop replied, "Well, move it anyway."

Ha ha!

We protested until about 9 PM. We needed dinner, but guess what the only restaurant that was open was? Here's a hint: Badeedle-badeed! That's right, Frisch's Big Boy, the topic of many hilarious jokes in The Last Word. So we goed into Frisch's, goofed off, and celebrated what a smashing success our protest was!

Our demonstration helped expose what an evil operation KHK is. Some folks who saw our signs were probably encouraged to research KHK on the Internet later, and I'm betting they're not too pleased about KHK's shenanigans going on in their town.

KHK sounds like they've combined the psychological terror of my first high school, the physical confinement of your average scaminous youth "treatment" center, and the vile trash talk and childish displays of Fred Phelps's cult. All rolled into one not-too-tasty snack! If you don't believe me, do some research yourself. I'm proud that I've helped expose this cult, and I think our protest went a long way towards bringing a halt to KHK. But there's still lots of work to do!

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