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God’s Light Shines Through my Defects

I am a gratefully recovering compulsive overeater, abstinent by the grace of God one more* day at a time. †

I took my Algebra test this morning, trusting in God (His part) and diligently studying (my part), and I am fairly confident I aced it. We’ll see next Monday. It felt good to have God holding my hand through it, and giving me focus, energy and time to go back through it and double-check some things. Even when I was stumped, I just skipped questions and came back to them, and my experience on other parts of the test made the key concepts I was missing appear simplifying the skipped problems. God does seem to work that way in my life a lot. When I don’t understand or accept a key concept, He clarifies it in another part of my life. For instance, during my battle with test anxiety, I met with a fellow struggling with fear. As I coached him through his, I heard myself say the things I needed to apply myself, and a calm breeze of peace wafted over me. Pretty neat!

A friend of mine posted a statistic on a social networking site that “half of all Americans are on a diet on any given day.” At the risk of sounding antagonistic, I made the following comment:

“I would contend that 100% of us are on a diet. It’s just that most Americans are on a diet of pizza and ice cream while others restrict such things from their diet. The conventional thinking about the word “diet” keeps many people from the full vitality intended by our Creator. Still, you pose an interesting statistic supposing that “diet” means “restricted diet.” I guess that means that the other half just eat whatever they feel like at any time they want, indulging in every craving and whim with no sense of consequence or stewardship. Scary!”

Posting it here, I must admit it looks more argumentative than I meant it to be. The passion I have about this doesn’t allow me to remain silent, and goes toward those (including this friend) who struggle with life issues of which overweight is a symptom. Why is it when I try to help educate or encourage people, it always comes out condescending?

I know I cannot walk through a brick wall, and I’ve totally accepted this fact, so I don’t try. I don’t even resent the fact that I can’t do it. When I accept Step One as completely as this, I am easily abstinent. I am free.

I love this word picture. Anybody still banging into walls, frustrated with the result? I’ve given that up. I think.

Okay, God, what walls am I still banging into? Help me to see them and stop wasting the energy You have given me.

19b And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. 20 We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God.

Since God has committed to me such an important responsibility, it is incumbent upon me to keep my tone and demeanor from sullying His message. I fail in this regard when, like I did above, I answer without a question being asked. Another is when I respond in anger to anything at all, like I have also done this week.

I am grateful for the description in Chapter 4, that the message of light comes in clay jars (2 Cor. 4:7). I cannot perfectly house God’s message, and even if I could, I would not want to cover it up. His message is made perfect in my weakness, for it is through the cracks in my humanity that the supernatural holiness of His light shines through.