Tag Archives: nursing

It’s hard to believe that four years ago today at 8am MST (the time I am writing this), I was still in labor and a new nurse had taken over the shift and this nurse was dern good. I was admitted to the hospital at midnight. I was a first-time wimp and felt the first tinge of pain and begged to be taken in. Haaa… I was braver the 2nd time around. Anyway, admitted at midnight on May 23, and at 4:11pm on May 24, our first little bundle of joy arrived. She looked right at me and we connected… but it was a scary first few seconds. She was stuck and the cord was wrapped around her little neck. When she came out she was a little purplish but the doctor was amazing- Westside Women’s Care delivered both my kids and did a fabulous job! No C-Section, no epidural- all natural but yes, painful.

In any case, there she was, our little cone-head baby that we had to take home in 48 hours. Wow! I can still remember quite vividly how much our lives changed. For the better? Sure. But there were many nights we lay awake when we wondered if that was true. Our first one was very tiny, only 4lbs 11oz. when we took her home but stronger than even her mamma and more determined than anything. She had trouble nursing at first and this was hard on everyone in the house. After all, the commercials and TV shows/movies all tell you- they will nurse well and you will be a “perfect” family. It took a month but I didn’t give up and neither did my little bundle of joy. And 11 months later, she was still nursing. I feel blessed. I feel thankful for everything in my life – most of all, I thank God daily for bringing this soul to our lives – what fun adventures await us as we move onto bigger milestones! I can’t wait!

As a recap (since 2007 was a little ways away), I wanted to share two of the postings I wrote in November of 2007 (some 6 months after she was born). I can’t believe how much more I am writing now and since those postings, in 2007 how much more my life changed- for the better.

*this is just one mom’s take on the history and creation of Mother’s Day… this is not a true story of course (see disclaimer), but it’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Of course, if you are a true history buff like I am, you can read the verified history and creation of Mother’s Day here and interesting tid bit I learned from the wikipedia posting, Mother’s Day honoring Mother Earth/Goddess and Moms in Hinduism pre-dates Western Civilization by a a few centuries.

Today is another Mother’s Day! It is my 4th mother’s day – my first mother’s day as a mom was exactly 4 years ago and I was in my last two weeks of my pregnancy then so I was not quite sure what I was “in” for just yet. Four years later, I appreciate my own mom more than ever not just because I have kids of my own but because I experience that daily struggle with balancing home and family versus work, life, and outside activities, and am not quite sure I still appreciate all she did for us.

I am blessed with an amazing husband who takes care of the kids quite well – sure, the house may go to hell in a hand basket while I am out of town on a business trip or away for a few hours, but he is a great dad to our daughters and yes, he has changed many, many diapers. I would argue, he probably feeds them better than I do – well, sometimes.

I always hear the stories of guys in my dad’s and grandfather’s generation though – from friends, from my friends’ mothers, and from my own mom as well. Generally speaking, most of the men then were the sole bread earners and worked outside the home, and our moms and grandmas were stay at home (again, for the most part- not speaking for everyone). I remember my mom’s stories of how she did not go out much, they did not get babysitters for us, and basically her life revolved around us and our schedules. I am convinced that Mother’s Day was invented in our grandparents’ and further commercialized in our parents’ generation to honor moms because otherwise, I do not think men would. I know this sounds bad but I think it was created by a mother and wife who felt unappreciated or at the least, under-appreciated. Some say it is a commercially trumped-up day so that card makers could do more business. Well, whether it was an under appreciated mom and/or wife OR a creator at Hallmark, they were onto something: Create a day for mothers to get the respect they should receive daily, not just on one day. It’s possible the woman who invented it worked for that very same card company? Hmmm….yes, I think Mother’s Day was created by a woman for women- to help our husbands and kids recognize us and what we do, even for just one day. In reality, Mother’s Day is rooted in religious beliefs too – ancient civilizations paid homage to Mother Earth and in Eastern religions and philosophy, mothers were recognized because of the form of mother goddess and from her, came life. Whatever, it’s roots and whoever its creator, Mother’s Day is an important time to celebrate our earth, our belief in a higher being, and of course- our moms who gave us life, and our moms who sacrificed a lot to raise us.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the amazing moms, wives, and women who make a difference in the lives of so many. It’s not just a celebration of motherhood and all that brings, but rather… womanhood! Enjoy this day and hopefully, you get the rest, relaxation, and recognition you deserve.

However delayed this blog is, I had to write about the tea incident that occurred while I was visiting my folks in Virginia. My mom is a conservator by nature. For example, when I give my toddler-daughter Vitamin D milk in a bottle or cup, any left overs are used by mom to make her tea. Even though my daughter has back wash, etc., my mom feels compelled to not waste anything – down to meals. She will eat what my daughter does not and so on. I think you get the picture. Well, lesson learned I think is when it comes to some things, ‘tis better to just let it go.

Case in point – when I was visiting Virginia, I had bottles for both my infant daughter (2 bottles) and my toddler too because she cannot seem to drink milk out of anything other than a bottle. We are not too hard on her and still indulge her so she drinks her milk out of a bottle. Anyway, while we were in Virginia, I had to thaw out frozen breast milk one day for my infant so my mom could feed her while I was taking a nap with my daughter. My mom did so and it was approximately 3 ounces of breast milk. The bottles are marked with my infant’s name but it is not readily available or apparent- you have to actually lift the bottle and read below. My mom did not know this because rarely is my infant bottle fed. She is exclusively breast fed. So, needless to say… I think you know where this is going … My infant did not drink the bottle and my mom put it back in the fridge. Later that same, she made tea and waste not, want not, she thought she was using Vitamin D leftovers, combined with some other milk for prayers, combined with Actual Vitamin D leftovers. Little did she know at that time, that she had 3 ounces of breastmilk, an ounce of milk used for prayers, and 3 ounces of Vitamin D leftovers all in one pot. If you know hot to make Indian masala chai, it is all combined with water in a pot, spices and tea added with sugar, and then boiled. Boiling it releases the caffeine from the tea and makes the milk and water and sugar come to life. Ha! Needless to say, it smelled funny because breast milk, when boiled, does not separate, but just smells odd. As soon as I put my lips to the cup, I could smell something. It reminded me of how my infant smells after she spits up. Ironically, my infant was reaching for the cup as if it smelled to her of momma. In any case, after 2 sips, I said… This is spoiled and then did not drink it. My mom, on the other hand, kept drinking it and saying it tasted horrible but could not stop drinking it. My dad was saved because before he could get a cup, mom my decided it was spoiled milk and tossed all the tea. It was not until morning that she realized what she had done.

That night, I kept searching for Nisha’s bottle of milk and just decided to talk with my mom in the morning – of course, before I could do so, she admitted to me what happened and was quite embarrassed about it. I wonder if she views “waste not want not” differently now. Oh –no she doesn’t, she merely blamed the entire saga on me because of my lack of labeling and moved on. So, next time someone talks about mistakenly drinking breast milk, I do not laugh – I have been there, done that. Thank god it was my milk 🙂

I write this one week post-partum because I needed distance from the entire experience to gain perspective. They do not call it “labor” for nothing and the thing is, it does not end after the child is born, the “labor” of love continues throughout life once a child is born. From breastfeeding to sleepless nights caring for your child when he or she is suick; from hospital and doctor’s visits to sleepless nights wondering where your teenager is; from worrying about how you’ll pay for their education to sheer tears at their wedding, parents go through a lot but this blog is about the LABOR of love that mothers experience.

My labor of love has seen me through natural child births now- one two years and last week, my new baby girl’s birth. It was quite the trying experience and even though it was shorter, it certainly wasn’t any easier. I knew a little more what to expect this time and right down to the birthing room, I was comfortable with the hospital experience more this time than last. Still, it is scary and until your child is born, it is hard to know what will happen or what “turn” the labor and delivery would take. Fortunately, we got through this one okay as well. I had a lot of help and guidance and was surrounded by good people especially my husband.

But, alas, the pain does not end really after the baby is born – if you are having a second child, this is just the beginning. We had our two kids a bit close together so while our toddler who is almost two does not understand really what is going on, now we have introduced night-time feedings and wakings into our routine too. This combined with our toddler who has poor sleep habits makes for quite the hellish nights and leave us all looking and acting like zombies. For the first few days, I was ready to send our newborn back into the womb because it was a lot safer there for her and for me. Safer for her because our toddler is a bit rough with her new sister and safer for me because I would not have to face how tough it really is to care for a newborn and a toddler at the same time. But alas, my “labor” of love continues through the 1am nursing, the 430am crying of both children, comforting one through nursing and the other by letting her hold a lock of my hair. I know that dads “labor” too- they do things daily that show they love their child and make sacrifices but moms seem to carry the burden – from carrying the child for 9 months to labor and delivery; from nursing to staying up late nights comforting the child- nothing compares to moms.

This is my 2nd pregnancy but even during my first, I have noticed that my favorite pre-pregnancy stores like Victoria’s Secret do not carry a maternity line nor do I see them making an effort to help women who are pregnant or nursing. It seems counterintuitive in my opinion to not tap into this market. Let’s analyze. Victoria’s secret is the leader in the market for sexy lingerie, pajamas, bras, hosiery, and other “accoutrements” so to speak that you may need for … well, let’s face it – sex! Sex is what sells at Victoria’s Secret. It is often not about comfort when you purchase there- it is all about the sexiness you exude and the sex you will get as a result – well, hopefully.

So, why would Victoria’s Secret leave such a gaping hole in their market? Why would they not tap into the sexiest market out there – pregnancy and nursing? I have often wondered that and not realized the answer other than what my husband told me which is it runs afoul of their image. After all, they women to get laid and men to get excited but they do not want anyone to get pregnant? What?! Are you kidding me? Pregnant women are the sexiest creatures out there…. Sure, they get big and bloated and have bad gas sometimes and acid reflux but my God, they are procreating and often look irresistible during these times. Pregnancy is sexy and nursing is even sexier. How many women out there can feed a child and help that child grow? Her breast is out and a baby is sucking on it to extract nutrients? Are you kidding me? What kind of store would not tap into this market?

Here are some ideas- nursing bras; sexy nursing bras so that by night, this woman can get it on with her man should she wish, and by day, nurse in public. Here is another thought – nursing covers for those women who would like to hide her hooters from Uncle John who is visiting. What about maternity bras that can adjust to fit the woman as she progresses from trimester to trimester? What about the delivery gown? Doesn’t a woman in agonizing labor pain deserve a sexy gown to wear too? What about a nice cotton maternity panty for the pregnant woman? They can even use what they already sell and just make it maternity. After all, just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you do not have sex anymore- if anything, you need to make yourself feel even sexier. Why not tap into that line? I have never understood for the life of me and after my first pregnancy, I even stopped shopping there because frankly, I no longer feel connected to the store or that they serve all women. Maybe that is their goal – to only serve those who are not pregnant or nursing but I for one feel it is a little discriminatory and leaves out a huge piece of the market-the piece that may actually need the “secret”.

Mile High Mamas

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