Having lost our daughter to SIDS several years ago I have had countless opportunities to talk with other families who have also experienced the same loss. God has allowed my heartache to be a springboard that has allowed me to counsel other Mother’s who are walking through the deep grief that follows loosing a child. After our daughter died from SIDS in 1997 I felt like my life had shattered right before my very eyes. I lost my way. I needed someone to come alongside and share with me truth – a counselor. As the years have passed and God has healed my heart; He has placed within me a burden to be a counselor to those who are grieving and hurting.

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in time of trouble.”

What comfort this verse can bring to the grieving parent! God is a refuge – a hiding place, a safe place. How we long for that after our world has been turned upside down! How we desire a safe place to hide. I remember after our daughter died the fear that filled my heart. Fear fills the heart of every parent who has suffered the unexpected loss of a baby. This reality becomes crystal clear: Life can change in an instant. Everything seems uncertain and unsure. This verse helps us to realize that God is there for us even when everything around us seems unsure and unstable. God is not just a refuge; oh no, it is so much more personal that that! He is our refuge if we are His.

We had loaded the family into the van and were heading up for a hike at a nearby mountain here in North Carolina. Our youngest daughter had been so excited about hiking and had chattered about it all day long as we prepared for the time when Daddy would get home from work and we would go on our adventure.

We talked about the benefits of planning and looking ahead in the New Year that lies before us. The benefits are there for everyone; but the grieving parent can find that taking time to plan for the days and months that lay ahead is actually a huge step in the grieving process.

God is a God of order and routine. One of the greatest ways to see God delight of order is to view the changing seasons. Everything follows a pattern. We have spring, then summer, followed by fall and the winter. The cycle continues - month after month, year after year. Sure, we can have season that are mild or extremely hard – but overall we know that after one season follows the next and there is an anticipated pattern in the weather for each season.

God delights in order. He has designed our bodies to function best in a consistency of order. Can you imagine if there were no season changes? How boring that would be! Isn’t it nice to know that Tuesday follows Monday and that Friday comes at the end of the week? Imagine if everyday was a Monday. Now that is a scary thought!

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” Jeremiah 29:11

Perhaps this is my favorite verse in scripture. I can not say that for certain because I have so many ‘favorites’. What I do know is that there is no other verse or passage in the Bible that I have turned to more and claimed more during a time of trial than this particular verse.

A relationship with Jesus Christ changes everything. I can not imagine going through the trials of this life without knowing that God is right there with me. Have you experienced this too? Have you wondered what it would be like to go through life without God? Or, perhaps, do you wonder as you read this post what it means to have a relationship with Jesus Christ?

A relationship with God means that you know Him personally, like you know your family and friends. It is not simply a knowing of Him. So many times in today’s day and age we know of God. We have heard of Him at Christmas time or we have heard of Him when we hear the Easter story each spring. However, a personal relationship is more than knowing about God – it is personally knowing Him.

I want to take a blog post and introduce myself. It is significant to me that my ministry here with SIDS America is officially beginning this week. This is the week my life changed forever, fifteen years ago - today. God has been preparing me for this ministry long before that sad Saturday morning.

Holidays can be so difficult for grieving families. Festive cheer surrounds us, yet for those grieving such devastating loss, it can cause feelings of isolation and loneliness. Grieving families may not feel like celebrating, and others may or may not understand. The absence of our babies looms heavily over us, and we can hardly find reason to be joyful at a time that causes such deep pain.