Newsweek.com's major crime seems to be allowing loose women to speak. These ladies of the evening include porn star Sasha Grey (pictured above), whose views on the Mark Sanford scandal have forever soiled Lopez's brain — she writes, "what's shocking is that I even know her opinion on the woman, on the situation, on politicians and their wives, and that she thinks we should all openly have something extra on the side." Also scandalously allowed to have an opinion is former madam Heidi Fleiss. Never mind that Newsweek tapped her to talk about escorts, a subject she presumably knows a lot about — according to Lopez, she's still gross.

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But not as gross as a gay guy talking about sex. The final exhibit in Lopez's case against Newsweek is "crude sex columnist" Dan Savage, who mentioned blow jobs in a piece on Larry Craig (Lopez renders this as "b*** j**" — presumably so her readers' eyeballs don't explode). Savage is actually making a pretty conservative point — he writes, "It annoys people like me - openly gay men - when the Craig incident is described as a ‘gay sex scandal,' as if his actions in the toilet that day tell you something about gay men. Openly gay people - gay men with integrity - have boyfriends and husbands." But of course, gay sex is dirty, whether it takes place in an airport bathroom or a marital bed.

It's kind of hilarious that, given what's available on the Internet (though this too is a taboo topic for Lopez), she would single out Newsweek as "all about sex - perverse and paid for." What's not so funny is the message she articulates — that people who have sex she deems unacceptable shouldn't get to speak in the national media. It's especially strange that she doesn't really criticize Mark Sanford or Eliot Spitzer — just the porn star and madam who mistakenly thought they were allowed to talk about them. Of course, Sanford and Spitzer came in for their fair share of vitriol, but Lopez's piece reminds us who are the enduring enemies of the right's traditional-values squad: women, gays, and anybody they can dismiss with a claim of "perversity."