In the Philippines, we have a lot of sari-sari stores — small stores that sell all sorts of stuff. My posts are stories of all kinds of stuff that I experience or learn, most especially while being a woman, a wife and a mom. :)

Real Life Talks. I’ve always believed in helping young people get their education. I grew up seeing my grandparents and parents do this. Besides making sure we got our education and despite my so many delays before getting my degree, they supported other scholars. Which is probably why I believe in Real Life Foundation so much. The fact that it is our church’s social responsibility arm and that they help struggling students get through high school and college, were enough reasons for me to support the foundation.

But I thank God that I was there at Real Life Talks a few Saturdays ago. To be reminded that this started really small, is just so inspiring. From a burden that God placed in the heart of one man some years ago, Doc Joey, who saw malnourished kids in Pasig and decided to feed them, to a “project” that other people in their community wanted in on, to a full blown, legit NGO today. Wow. The Lord is good.

Ms Mae Perez talking about how Real Life started. Doc Joey in the background.

The mission of REAL LIFE

Because poverty is so prevalent in our country, it is only right that the church be involved in helping our fellow Filipinos. And not just by giving food or financial assistance, though that is good. And not just by giving them tuition so that they can finish school, though that is also good. We don’t stop at merely creating graduates. What makes me more sold out on Real Life is that they (we) help them grow in their relationship with the Lord. Life skills and people skills are taught. Their character is developed. They not only become successful people in their fields and upstanding Filipino citizens, they also become wise, honorable, reliable, compassionate, generous, courageous, loving leaders. They become disciples of Christ. It’s the Jesus factor.

These are what the students receive, besides tuition, along with training on how to budget, how to use their finances wisely, to be excellent at home and in school.

My friend, She, and I shed some tears listening to the stories of some of our scholars and graduates. It’s amazing to know that some of them graduated cum laude or summa cum laude! But more amazing is how they are not only free from poverty, but how they are a blessing to their families, their communities, and their workplace. They practice integrity even when their job might be compromised. They give back and help those who are still in the community they left behind. They volunteer and serve in church. Some of them are even campus ministers now, and if I remember correctly, even pastors! It makes me tear up knowing how Jesus changes lives. What a privilege it is to be part of it.

What REAL LIFE teaches our scholars.

Praise God for this! We pray for more scholars in the future.

Pastor Ariel Marquez ending the talks with an encouraging message.

We realize that we cannot solve the entire country’s problems. We know that. So why even bother? I love the story Pastor Ariel shared about a young boy at a beach, tossing stranded starfish back in the ocean. The beach was filled with hundreds of them. An old man said that there was no way he was possibly going to be able to put them all back, so what he was doing didn’t even matter. The young boy said that it mattered to each one that he was able to put back into the ocean. Similarly, we may not be able to help every single Filipino, but we can help some. And it may not seem like it matters, it may seem small and insignificant, but it matters to each person we help. It matters to us. It matters to God.

You can be part of this too! You can go to their website http://reallife.ph. Or come to our church, Victory Alabang in Festival Mall, put your donation in the tithing envelope during service, tick the real life box. Anonymously or not. No pressure with the amount. God sees your heart. And every contribution counts. ❤

“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ Matthew 25:40

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We went up to Baguio last month and while on Kennon Road, one of our kids noticed that there were trees sticking out of the mountain, some almost horizontally. She wondered how those trees could do that. STRONG ROOTS, I told her.

Very much like in life. No matter how the world turns, if we are strongly rooted in the Word of God, we remain standing firm in our faith. No matter what the world throws at us. No matter what the world offers us. By the grace of God, we will be strong in our resolve to love, honor, and obey God.

So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him,rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.

See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy,which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces of this world rather than on Christ. Colossians 2:6-8

Every time we watch a movie, we ask the girls what they learn. We did the same after watching The Greatest Showman. One of them said that we shouldn’t care about what other people think about us, only what we think about ourselves. My immediate response was, “What if you think you’re ugly?”

I think this is a common mistake that we make. We may not allow other people to define us, which is good, but we choose to define ourselves. What’s wrong with that? Well, in the movie, the oddities believed that they were ugly and worthless all their lives, and they operated according to those beliefs. They hid. They were ashamed. They kept to themselves. It took a PT Barnum to awaken them. It was like Barnum gave them their worth and their identity, when he called them out to be part of one great show. He was the only one who saw them for more than just “freaks,” more than the labels people put on them. They started believing and living according to what Barnum believed about them — that they are useful, talented, that they have a purpose in life and they can bring joy to people.

We too need to anchor our identity onto Someone. But not just anyone. Not even ourselves, for we are flawed. Our views of ourselves vary and fluctuate, depending on mood or circumstance. We need to anchor our identity to One who is constant. Perfect. All-powerful and all-knowing. The One who created us, the One who created us for a purpose. The One who knows all, who knows every minute detail about us and cares for us. Infinitely good, infinitely wise. Limitless. Trustworthy. The One whose ways are higher than ours. The One whose love for us isn’t and cannot be changed. We believe what and who He says we are, and live accordingly — His child — valued, loved, accepted, blessed, forgiven, safe, secure, significant, useful for all kinds of good work. FREE.

Anchor yourself to Jesus. Build a relationship with Him. He will set you free from the shame and the fear. He will teach you and mold you into the best you can possibly be. ❤

Know that the Lord, he is God! It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. Psalm 100:3

But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand. Isaiah 64:8

To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples.Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:31-32

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. 2 Cor 5:17

The Greatest Showman was great! At first I was iffy because Zac Efron is in it. I mean I know he’s a good actor, but I don’t always trust his role choices. But I love Hugh Jackman and I like Zendaya. Plus so many people, including the girls’ friends, kept saying it was sooo good. And of course I’d already seen the videos of a couple of the songs. I love “This is me.” I loved it even more seeing the movie and seeing the choreography. Such an anthem.

Some highlights for me….

Charity’s love and support for Phin. She didn’t pressure her husband or put him in a box. She wished for happiness, not fortune or fame, not even a comfortable lifestyle. Despite her affluent upbringing, she was happy anywhere, as long as she was with her family. I love that scene up on the roof, when Phin apologetically said that it was not the life he promised Charity, that he promised her a life of magic and wonder, to which she replied “Look at those two girls….” I feel the same way. There is magic and wonder in our children. I thank God for them everyday. Anywhere with my family, by the grace of God.

Phin’s celebration of the oddities. It may have begun as a money making scheme, but he gave those guys something to do, something to look forward to, something to be proud of. He wasn’t afraid to be judged, or criticized, or be different. He wasn’t afraid to stand by his team despite the daily threat of a riot outside his theater. I believe we need to celebrate people as well. We all have our quirks and flaws. None of us is perfect. We need to give each other a chance, see each other’s potential, see the good. We need to lift one another up, instead of judge and tear each other down.

Phillip’s desire for change. Phillip was among the upper class, but he was no longer content being one of them. He didn’t want to be trapped in his parents’ world, where they thought too highly of themselves and looked down on others. We should not be comfortable maintaining and perpetuating the status quo. We must choose to treat people, all kinds of people, fairly and with great respect. We must fight against discrimination, even in our own little way, and stand up for others.

The distraction, aka Jenny Lind. Phin used Jenny Lind to get the approval of the upper class. He enjoyed the attention and the respect. He got blinded by it, and started neglecting his circus and his family. He left them to go on tour with Jenny, who also almost distracted him from his marriage. Distractions, whether they are people, feelings, things, or things to do, can be dangerous. They can lead us astray. They can make us forget our original purpose, our goals. They can make us neglect, even abandon our priorities. We must be vigilant. Is this what God wants me to do? Does this honor God? Will this honor my spouse? Am I being a good leader (to my people and to my family)? Am I being a good example to my children?

Charity’s wisdom. “When will it ever be enough?” She knew that her husband was chasing something that would never satisfy him. She knew that he had gone beyond what he first dreamed, that he had forgotten what truly mattered. She knew that he needed to let go of the past, stop proving himself to others because he already had everything he should want and need. We all can be stubborn at times. We all need wise people around us to remind us, to keep us grounded, to pray for us, to help us realign ourselves to the will of God. They often see more clearly from their perspective. We need to be humble enough to listen.

The loyalty of his team. When he thought he’d lost all, even after his neglect as their ring master, his team of “freaks” stood by him. The lyric “A man learns who is there for him When the glitter fades and the walls won’t hold,” from his song From Now On conveys this clearly. They believed in him because he, imperfect as he was, believed in them. They stood by him because he brought them together and because he was the only one who gave them — they who were ridiculed and rejected by their own parents — a sense of family. Loyalty is such a rare commodity these days, but kindness, acceptance, love, hope — these are what breeds loyalty in people.

Passing the baton. Phin literally passed the baton to Phillip, to continue his legacy of bringing joy to people. Whatever we are passionate about, whatever we are great at, we should pass it on, teach it to somebody. Whatever is good, whatever is noble, whatever is worthwhile and praiseworthy, we should pass it on. The love and transformative work of Jesus, the Gospel — teach others, pass it on. “and what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men, who will be able to teach others also.” 2 Tim 2:2

He has told you, O man, what is good;and what does the Lord require of youbut to do justice, and to love kindness,and to walk humbly with your God? Micah 6:8

So it’s February 7, and King is forty today! Fabulously young looking at forty, but that’s not my favorite thing about him.

King is funny and fun, and he has the finesse of Bruno Mars! Yes, he can be corny sometimes, but in the last 13 years and 1 year before that, he has made me laugh countless times. Marriage is fun because we can laugh and be silly together. He is my bestest bestest friend, and I thank God I get to do life with him. He’s ready to go on adventures and trips with me, but he’s also willing to just chill out and do nothing with me. He’s game for anything, as long as he’s not yet exhausted (hahaha, we have to be real, we are not as young as we used to be). And the finesse….he can still move and groove, not to mention he resembles the ever so talented Bruno Mars. I just love that about him. I remember that was one of the things on “my list” when I was single, haha. I thank the Lord He gave me a dancer, especially since we have spawned 3 more dancers.

King is a family man. I love that he always wants to come home to us. When we’re not with him, he rarely stays out late, by choice. It was never a spoken rule, but something he has practiced since we got married, and especially when we started having children. I love that he prioritizes our family. We are on the same page in raising our children, in our values, and making choices based on what is important to us as a family. He makes sure he puts in date nights in his schedule, not just with me, but with his daughters individually. The girls always request for those dates. They enjoy spending time with him, and are always excited to see him when he gets home or when we meet somewhere. They look forward to Me and My Dad camps too! Team work makes the dream work. We are a team. He’s not perfect but he genuinely loves us and does his best to take care of us.

King is a faithful man. To me and to his children, but most especially to God. Recently we received a prophetic word during a presbytery, and the word for King was faithful. My tears started rolling because it was a confirmation of what I’ve always seen in my husband. Through the excitement, the silence, the highs, the lows, the small victories, the epic failures,and everything in between, he has remained faithful to the Lord and to his calling. Even with the occasional temptation of giving up or walking away, he would hold on and keep on keeping on. “Just be faithful” is kind of our mantra. What a wonderful gift to hear that the Lord’s eye is on King and He is pleased with His servant.

King fears the Lord. Not the “I’m so scared that God is going to smite me” kind of fear, but a deep love and respect for God. This is where his wisdom comes from. He knows God is a loving, kind, gracious, merciful Father, but One who is also holy and just. One who is sovereign, powerful, and infinitely wiser. He does not want to mess around with trying to fool God or to go ahead of Him. He lives his life wanting to wait on God, so that he can obey God. When our tendency is to depend on our own abilities, he reminds his children, me included, to pray and ask the Lord. He also lives confident of God’s goodness and faithfulness. This, and by the grace of God, is where his ability to be faithful, to his audience of One, comes from. Grateful to be used and to be able to serve.

Happy 40th birthday babe! You are my favorite person in the whole wide world. I pray that you will continue to grow into the man God is shaping you to be. I love you. ❤

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We attended the last Christmas Eve service in Victory Cagayan de Oro yesterday. Gianna of course, wanted to stay in the toddlers room, and the girls didn’t want to go to Kids Church. Danae offered to stay with Gianna and Noelle decided to stay with me and King in the adult service.

During tithes and offering, I reminded Noelle about her tithe. She proceeded to get money from her wallet, and wrote on the envelope. What she wrote blessed my heart.

Lord,

I pray that you have a great birthday. And please bless Beanie and her family.

In Jesus’ name, AMEN!

And then after the short worship during tithes and offering, she asked me something.

Noelle: are you crying?

Me: a little, yeah.

Noelle: why?

Me: I’m like that when I’m reminded of what Jesus did for me.

Noelle: oh, well I never forget that.

Amen. Thank you Lord that my children know and will never forget what You did for us on the cross. That You died a death we should have died, saving us and forgiving us of our past, present and future sins, and You rose again after three days, giving us the opportunity to have eternal life with You in heaven, IF we believe. Thank You Lord that my children also believe.

I asked Gianna this morning, when she woke up momentarily, whose birthday it is today.

Gianna: Jesus.

Me: what did you say to Jesus?

Gianna: happy birthday to you.

Me: what did He say?

Gianna: I don’t know.

Haha I love that her response was real and that it made sense. Sometimes we really don’t know.

Lord, we pray for great faith for our children, that they will have a vibrant, intimate relationship with You, and that they will constantly hear You and seek to hear You and obey You every day of their lives. In Your name, amen.

Merry Christmas everyone! May you find that the true meaning of Christmas is Jesus. I pray that everyday will be Christmas for us, that everyday is with, for and about Jesus. ❤️

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I think it was last week when Danae stayed with me in the supermarket after dinner, while King brought the two younger girls home. I appreciated the company, especially because she’s not anymore the toddler that she was, who would get her own cart and stash sanitary napkins and other things in it. I also appreciate one on one time with my girls. It’s more peaceful because no one is competing against the other for talk time and attention. Just picture 3 talkative girls coming at you all at the same time. Hahaha.

I like to goof around with my kids, and Danae, even at her age, still likes to goof around with me. She’s not too cool for me yet, though sometimes she begs me to stop hahaha. At the cashier, while waiting for our turn, we were laughing about something. Danae suddenly mused that she wished she was still the only child. Awwww. I told her that was really sweet AND really mean at the same time.

I love that she enjoys spending time with me and just me. She enjoys going on solo dates with her dad as well. What a boost to know that for somebody who loves being with her friends so much, she still needs her time with mommy. Although it was mean of her to say that she prefers to be without her sisters, it also warmed my heart. It wasn’t even a date date. We weren’t doing anything special. We weren’t at a place she really really wanted to go to. It was simply quality alone time between mother and daughter.

When it was our turn at the cashier, Danae suddenly sang and danced Grease Lightning. I mumbled and danced along with her haha. The cashier lady commented, “ang cool nyong mag-ina.” That made me smile. I always want to be the mom my kids can count on when the going gets rough, the mom who teaches the tough lessons of life, but also the mom who laughs hard, plays around and is unafraid to be silly with them. ❤

Thankful for the privilege of being a mother. ❤

Children are a heritage from the Lord,offspring a reward from him.Like arrows in the hands of a warriorare children born in one’s youth.Blessed is the manwhose quiver is full of them.They will not be put to shamewhen they contend with their opponents in court. Psalm 127:3-5

King taught a class I was in last week, and one of the topics he discussed was the Christian character of faithfulness. At the end of that session, each group answered a question:

Why is faithfulness a critical component of the character of a leader? Describe a leader in your life who has been faithful and explain the impact of that in your own life.

I raised my hand and said something, but it was incomplete. As usual, I think I’m a better writer than I am a speaker. Anyway, what I really wanted to say was that in those times that we leaders feel ineffective, useless, unappreciated, offended or tired, we must remain faithful. Just as Dory sings “just keep swimming, just keep swimming,” we must remind ourselves to just be faithful. By the enabling grace of God, we keep going. We don’t give up. Why? Because God sees. God sees you and me. God sees our heart. He sees our effort to reach out to people and to love them. He sees our obedience. He sees our willingness to be inconvenienced, to step out of our comfort zone. He sees our servant leadership and selflessness. He sees our faith. HE SEES. And His pleasure is enough reason for us to be faithful. His honor ought to be the ultimate reason we keep going.

Being faithful is a critical component of a leader’s character because while it is easy to lead when you have a title or position, things are going great and everyone is on board, united and all, it is difficult when things go the opposite direction. Problems arise (theirs or your own), people disconnect, people get offended and discouraged (including you), people and situations change. A leader must not walk away from what God has called him to do.

No question, the leader who has been faithful and has made an impact in my life is King. His faith and his relationship with the Lord is something that I have admired since the year I met him. The day I found out that he was on a mission trip, after weeks of preparing a video and a dance presentation for the opening of our center in Festival mall, was the day I saw him with a new level of respect. I mean come on, I married the guy a year later! Haha. He is by no means perfect. Our life is not perfect. But we have been married for nearly 13 years. He has been a faithful husband, despite my oh so many flaws. He has been a faithful father to our three girls. He chooses to love us and take care of us. I see it in the small things and in the big things — his time, his availability, his presence, his words, his prayers, his resources. He chooses to honor his vow before God and his vow to me.

He has been a church volunteer since the 90s. Name it, he has volunteered for it. He has been in full time ministry for more than a decade. He has worn different hats as well. He’s the kind of man who will do what needs to be done, no matter his title or position. No VIP treatment just because he’s a pastor. He is always ready to serve. I’ve seen that character in him all these years. He is faithful. Even when he has taken hits. Even when he is discouraged. He remains faithful. I believe it’s because he knows to Whom he is being faithful. It’s because he has no illusions Whom all this is about and Whose grace makes it all possible. And that’s more than enough for him. 🙂

“Know therefore that the LORD your God, He is God, the faithful God, who keeps His covenant and His lovingkindness to a thousandth generation with those who love Him and keep His commandments; Deuteronomy 7:9

Can I just gush about our beautiful gymnasts? We’re so so so proud of our girls. Danae and Noelle recently participated in the 2nd Sonny Ty International Gymnastics Cup held in the Muntinlupa Sports Center, and they did so well!

First of all, Danae just had surgery last April. I know they say it’s routine surgery and no baby came out of her, but still. They gave her spinal anesthesia and they opened her up. Second of all, both Danae and Noelle just started training late June. Barely 4 months and they were already invited to join a competition for Level 1. Third of all, international? In the words of one minion, Whaaaa? We seriously did not know that it was inter-anything, let alone international. We just thought it would be a great learning experience for them, competing against their peers in PGAA (Philippine Gymnastics and Athletics Academy). And the costume is super nice haha. We were surprised on opening day. Five other Asian nations represented. Again, whaaa?

The girls were such troopers. We were there from 8:30 in the morning to around 4:30 in the afternoon. We ate breakfast at home, but had no proper lunch. They just ate a piece of bread here and there. Even Gianna, though she rarely stayed put, was patient enough to endure the day. She only started acting up when her sleep got interrupted. Good thing we were going home already by that time. King and I took videos of the girls separately, because they were grouped by age and were at different parts of the sports center per event that they did. We’re super grateful that our friends, the Ramirezes, were with us. Their youngest daughter, Lovely, was in Danae’s age group. They helped us out with Gianna haha. I was able to take some videos in peace. We did miss out on recording most of Noelle’s floor exercise though. It was the last, and King and I were both distracted by the little one.

Noelle, Danae, Lovely, and Gianna 🙂

Here’s the funny part. We thought they would be giving out medals according to who garnered the highest scores, so I expected only a few kids to get them. I hoped my girls would, but also knew that there were other gymnasts who scored much higher than they did. During the awarding ceremony, I stayed at the back because of course, Gianna was playing. She fell asleep shortly after, so we were on the floor because I had no seat. I only saw the 3 to 5-year-olds get awarded. Anyway, to make the long story short, they gave awards for each event — bars, beam, vault, and floor — according to age group and according to their scores. And because my girls’ scores were mostly 9s and high 8s, they got a gold for each event! Along with a lot of other kids haha. I didn’t hear Danae’s name called, and there was another name in Noelle’s age group that sounded like her name, so I was never clear if it was really Noelle being awarded. They just came to me later on with 4 gold medals each on their necks. So many kids were walking around clinking as well haha. They did award the top 6 who garnered the highest scores, and I think the top 3 get to advance to level 2.

Noelle saluting their judge before the beam event. 🙂

We’re happy that our girls are doing something that they love, and that they’re progressing well. I mean I never expected them to be so good so quickly! I watch them practice in the gym, but it’s not always a clear view. Their performance on the bars surprised me the most because I know they were scared to turn at first and I don’t think they were strong enough to do so. But come to think of it, these girls taught themselves to cartwheel and do handstands, before they were formally trained. Why wouldn’t they get so good quickly with great coaching?! Not to mention their hard work and commitment.

Danae after her floor exercise 🙂

I didn’t even think about scores at first. I prayed for them to be humble winners and gracious losers, but I just wanted them to experience it, to build their confidence, and enjoy it. To depend on God, to give their best, and to give God the glory. Them participating in such a competition was already a win for me. Little did we know the results would be so awesome!

My girls just amaze me. It’s one thing to learn gymnastics and to practice in the comfort of the PGAA gym. But to perform solo, with a judge, with many eyes on them, in a not-so-familiar, huge sports center, is a whole other thing. But you know what, they looked pretty comfortable right away. They were nervous, and I know they prayed a lot, but they carried on. What courage! And what God-given abilities!

And can I just say? They looked so beautiful in their costumes. I’m so proud of myself for doing their hair haha. I had to buy hair spray and bobby pins the day before. After the competition, they were like, “Seriously? I have so many hair pins on my head.” I think Danae counted 16 on hers, hahaha. It got the job done, didn’t it? No hair issues the entire time.

I could go on and on about that day. It was a first for all of us, and it was wonderful. One of the questions I asked them after was “Did you thank Jesus?” Indeed Lord, this would not have all been possible without You. Thank you. All glory to You. ❤

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deut 31:6

There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work. 1 Cor 12:6

“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. Matt 5:14-16

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I am Phoebe Torres-Lucero, wife of a loving husband & dedicated pastor, King, and mother to three wonderful, smart, active little girls, Danae, Noelle and Gianna. Phoebe means bright and radiant. Torres means towers. Lucero means light. Put together, my name speaks of a tower of bright, radiant light. And that is what I hope to be as I write and share with you some of my experiences, especially on being a mom.