Myth: You can’t run and shoot at the same time in Metal Gear Solid

Fact: You need to fucking read the instruction booklet.

By Ravi Singh, Posted in 2004

No, I’m serious. This is a myth. Not a very common one, but it still spreads around. Now the game itself doesn’t really tell you, but you can have Snake hold out his gun and run while shooting. This is how I pretty much how I defeated Ocelot and got through that part where you run up the tower with the guards coming down at you. How the dumbfucks did it without running and shooting? Probably using a GameShark and unlimited Stun Grenades. Those fuckers.

I found out about the ability to do this in the instruction booklet for Metal Gear Solid. Now I know that people buy used games that don’t have a manual. That’s why we have the internet. You know how many Guides/Walkthroughs have controls on them, and what the main character can do? How about GameFAQs.com? I mean, it’s pretty damn popular.

But wait, wait… even some people who go to GameFAQs believe this myth.

“The game’s control system is rather poor. A Young gamer may have trouble controlling Solid Snake, the central character, for quite some time. Snake can’t do much stuff either, apart from shoot, run, walk and smoke, for example he can’t run and shoot at the same time, or he can’t jump, and in this game it will be quite useful.“

Wow. Lagunathemoron indeed. While I can waste my time pointing out the idiocy of the entire review this fellow gave – such as young gamers who can’t play rated “M” games (good, young gamers suck and are usually the annoying fucks that post stupid and annoying messages in message boards), or how jumping would make this game easier… somehow (I dunno, maybe landing your jump makes a loud noise so the guards will go to you and go “Who’s there?” Or maybe so we can do split jumps. I think crawling was the more necessary thing here though, Laguna. The moron. Heh), or how he thinks Metal Gear and Snake’s Revenge for NES were better than this game, I’m going to instead go back at the matter of hand:

The myth. Of Snake not being able to run and shoot. Well, here’s a screenshot I took to prove that Snake CAN run and shoot. Enlarged to the sight impaired so you can notice Snake’s legs:

Wha?! How did I do that?

Me, being the nice (hahahah… ha… ok) guy I am, will show you that this simple process can be done. With pictures too! Just like those books you read! What? You’ve read The Mouse and the Motorcycle? I’m so proud of you dear, but some other people might be a bit slower. Besides, you’ve only read the summary on the back of that book. How did I know? I’m just that amazing.

First, you draw out your weapon. I recommend practicing with the SOCOM first because the FA-MAS automatically fires, so you’ll waste some bullets while you read this shit. SQUARE is the weapon button. I’m holding it. Now, here’s the next step, don’t let go of that button…

…and hold the crawl button as well, which is the X button. You can, seriously, hold two buttons at the same time using the same thumb. It’s not as hard as your poor shoddy ‘lil head might think it is. Note that the tip of the thumb is directly over SQUARE so that you can let go of SQUARE whenever you feel like it.

Congratulations! Now you can use your other hand to move Snake towards any direction! If you’re using the SOCOM, use the tip of your finger to tap the SQUARE button to fire bullets. With the FA-MAS, release the tip of your thumb (but hold the same position) when you don’t want to fire. When you want to shoot a full round at some suckers, hold SQUARE. Or you can just tap L1 to quickly unequip your weapon when you don’t want to fire.

I have never seen anyone complain about “not being able to” run-and-shoot at the same time for Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes. Maybe this is because they’ve got plenty of other things to complain about. But just in case, it’s the same thing as above, except the button layout, and the weapon lock. First you hold the weapon button (“A”) first, and then hold the weapon lock button (“Y”) so you don’t waste bullets, then hold the PUNCH button (“B”). If holding three buttons with the same thumb makes you bitch a lot, just tap the “R” trigger so you unequip your weapon. I didn’t post pictures because I don’t have a GameCube controller with me, and, well…

…anyone who actually needed to use this sort of “guide” I just wrote… instead of playing video games, lock the door and read a book because if you’re this stupid, when you step outside your house, you’re just inviting trouble. Trouble like gunshots, people who beat up stupid people like you, and people who deliver the mail. Oh, and college. So try to read. You’re reading right now! Except what you’re reading is pure junk. Read something. Go to a library. Fuck.

The moral of this myth? Read your fucking instruction booklets before declaring that a game can’t let you do something. Or shoot yourself. I prefer the latter.