There was a guy who had no arms, got a job ringing the bell at the cathedral. He couldn't pull the bell, so you know, he'd just head butt them.

One day, in order to impress the priests, he really went at it. Knocked himself out stone cold and fell from the tower. Someone asked the priest if he knew who the guy was. "I don't remember his name, but his face rings a bell."

So an anti-marriage equality devout catholic kills himself in a cathedral in protest over France legalizing gay marriage. I don't think anyone has ever failed more at reading comprehension. Suicide is literally the only sin than cannot be forgiven. NO confession, no penance.

The biggest knob gobbler in France has a better chance at dining at the left hand of Jesus that this douche.

ArgusRun:So an anti-marriage equality devout catholic kills himself in a cathedral in protest over France legalizing gay marriage. I don't think anyone has ever failed more at reading comprehension. Suicide is literally the only sin than cannot be forgiven. NO confession, no penance.

The biggest knob gobbler in France has a better chance at dining at the left hand of Jesus that this douche.

Not true. If you jumped from a high enough place, you could ask for forgiveness on the way down.

ArgusRun:So an anti-marriage equality devout catholic kills himself in a cathedral in protest over France legalizing gay marriage. I don't think anyone has ever failed more at reading comprehension. Suicide is literally the only sin than cannot be forgiven. NO confession, no penance.

The biggest knob gobbler in France has a better chance at dining at the left hand of Jesus that this douche.

It's such a no-no that in medieval times if someone wanted to kill themselves the preferred method was to drown a baby. The thinking was, the baby has not yet committed any sins and will go straight to heaven and before the court/mob murders you they have to offer you a priest to whom you can confess all your sins. Which means you die forgiven and *also* go to heaven.

djZorbof:ArgusRun: So an anti-marriage equality devout catholic kills himself in a cathedral in protest over France legalizing gay marriage. I don't think anyone has ever failed more at reading comprehension. Suicide is literally the only sin than cannot be forgiven. NO confession, no penance.

The biggest knob gobbler in France has a better chance at dining at the left hand of Jesus that this douche.

Not true. If you jumped from a high enough place, you could ask for forgiveness on the way down.

Hmmmm.... interesting theological question. Is the sin in the intent or the resulting action. Obviously someone who attempts suicide and lives can then confess and repent. So if someone attempts suicide and then repents before they die are they forgiven? Is the sin the end result of the successful suicide or the beginning of the attempt?

K.B.O. Winston:ArgusRun: So an anti-marriage equality devout catholic kills himself in a cathedral in protest over France legalizing gay marriage. I don't think anyone has ever failed more at reading comprehension. Suicide is literally the only sin than cannot be forgiven. NO confession, no penance.

The biggest knob gobbler in France has a better chance at dining at the left hand of Jesus that this douche.

It's such a no-no that in medieval times if someone wanted to kill themselves the preferred method was to drown a baby. The thinking was, the baby has not yet committed any sins and will go straight to heaven and before the court/mob murders you they have to offer you a priest to whom you can confess all your sins. Which means you die forgiven and *also* go to heaven.

Religion is weird.

/Catholic//first to admit religion can be really weird

He probably convinced himself that he is a martyr. It must be really, really tough to have a martyr complex in a just and tolerant society.

K.B.O. Winston:ArgusRun: So an anti-marriage equality devout catholic kills himself in a cathedral in protest over France legalizing gay marriage. I don't think anyone has ever failed more at reading comprehension. Suicide is literally the only sin than cannot be forgiven. NO confession, no penance.

The biggest knob gobbler in France has a better chance at dining at the left hand of Jesus that this douche.

It's such a no-no that in medieval times if someone wanted to kill themselves the preferred method was to drown a baby. The thinking was, the baby has not yet committed any sins and will go straight to heaven and before the court/mob murders you they have to offer you a priest to whom you can confess all your sins. Which means you die forgiven and *also* go to heaven.

unchellmatt:There was a guy who had no arms, got a job ringing the bell at the cathedral. He couldn't pull the bell, so you know, he'd just head butt them.

One day, in order to impress the priests, he really went at it. Knocked himself out stone cold and fell from the tower. Someone asked the priest if he knew who the guy was. "I don't remember his name, but his face rings a bell."

The next day, the dead bell ringer's twin brother comes in for the again vacant bell ringer position. He also has no arms. They lead him up to the bell tower, he runs at the bell, trips and falls to the sidewalk below.

The same two guys walk by.

The first asks, "Do you know him?"

The second guy responds, "No, but he's a dead ringer for the guy we saw yesterday."

ArgusRun:djZorbof: ArgusRun: So an anti-marriage equality devout catholic kills himself in a cathedral in protest over France legalizing gay marriage. I don't think anyone has ever failed more at reading comprehension. Suicide is literally the only sin than cannot be forgiven. NO confession, no penance.

The biggest knob gobbler in France has a better chance at dining at the left hand of Jesus that this douche.

Not true. If you jumped from a high enough place, you could ask for forgiveness on the way down.

Hmmmm.... interesting theological question. Is the sin in the intent or the resulting action. Obviously someone who attempts suicide and lives can then confess and repent. So if someone attempts suicide and then repents before they die are they forgiven? Is the sin the end result of the successful suicide or the beginning of the attempt?

unchellmatt:There was a guy who had no arms, got a job ringing the bell at the cathedral. He couldn't pull the bell, so you know, he'd just head butt them.

One day, in order to impress the priests, he really went at it. Knocked himself out stone cold and fell from the tower. Someone asked the priest if he knew who the guy was. "I don't remember his name, but his face rings a bell."

So then a few weeks later, his brother goes to the same cathedral.Same thing. Rings the bells beautifully, but in his enthusiasm, he hits the bells a little too hard and knocks himself out cold.Falls to his death.Two passersby: "Do you know him?" "No, but he's a dead ringer for that other guy."

scottydoesntknow:The next day, the dead bell ringer's twin brother comes in for the again vacant bell ringer position. He also has no arms. They lead him up to the bell tower, he runs at the bell, trips and falls to the sidewalk below.

The same two guys walk by.

The first asks, "Do you know him?"

The second guy responds, "No, but he's a dead ringer for the guy we saw yesterday."