Episode 104: Amy W

Amy WAge: 27Location: New MexicoAddiction: Alcohol (vodka), anorexia, self-injury (cutting)What’s memorable: How depressed she is, suicidal to the point of people being tired of hearing her threaten to kill herself. She’s clearly reaching out for help and attention though, and has been for many many years, but her family consistently has ignored and dismissed her. “You shouldn’t have to work so hard to convince your parents that you need help.” Indeed. Oh, and also, her sister telling her SHE SHOULDN’T HAVE GOTTEN HERSELF RAPED. “I warned her not to put herself in those situations.” That’s a seriously messed up thing to say. Come on girl.

Official Synopsis: Amy grew up feeling unloved and unable to meet her parents’ high expectations. She was also molested by a neighbor when she was eight, but never told anyone in her family. She began to self-mutilate and restrict her diet, and by 17, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Now, Amy eats only 500 calories a day, drinks up to two bottles of vodka a night, and regularly self-mutilates. Amy’s family is ready to give up on her, but they still don’t know about Amy’s sexual abuse. Only Amy’s friend, Jessica, knows the truth, but will she have the courage to tell Amy’s family before it’s too late?’

This one was very memorable. This poor girl had so many problems, and the cutting she did was just so hard to watch. I really struggled to watch the episode, because she seemed so helpless. Hope she’s better now.

I am the Amy W from this episode. I have been clean and sober since July 14, 2009. The cutting and eating disorder have been much harder. I haven’t cut in almost 2 years and my eating is pretty up and down but overall it is a million times better than it was. Since the show I have had two more children and I have gotten married. I graduated from college and am working on getting into a nursing program. Things have been a million times better than they were. My family is so much closer now. We are all there for each other and it’s such a change from where it was. Intervention saved my life.

So good to hear that you’re doing well!!
I am a big fan of intervention but you are the first that I did a search on.
I was abused as well but it was by my dad. I’ve forgiven him through the grace of God. I pray that you will be set free as well.
Blessings Amy, stay well.

I watched your story this morning, Amy, with many tears. Unlike you, I am overweight, and have turned to food to numb pain, and have suffered from anxiety and depression since at least in my teens.

I am married, with 2 wonderful kids, but have had no contact with my immediate family for 2.5 years. I have never measured up to what they wanted me to be, and we have had many years of conflict. My parents abused alcohol, and in turn severely abused me, emotionally and physically. I have tried to remain very strong, and internalize pain, but it’s overwhelming. I don’t smoke, drink very seldom, and don’t do drugs. I try to stay strong and keep reminding myself that I am lucky despite how I feel. My parents live 30 mins. away, and have never been the type of grandparents to do things with my children (I asked 3 yrs. ago if they could come to stay with them for a weekend, either together or separate… who has to ask that?? I am fed up, and had to break free so I cold heal. Hoping that things would be different wasn’t working, so I had to keep my little bit of sanity and move on. .

I am an only child, so I don’t have the bond of siblings you do –it made me cry to see how much your younger sister loves you.

I live in Canada, and the support system here is so inconsistent. If you’re in a crisis, you get help, otherwise you’re waiting for weeks or months on a waiting list for treatment, or you pay a fortune and go weeks in between to get an appointment again. I have tried to not turn to other things as a crutch, but the pain is very tough to bear. I completely understand how you could feel like nobody cares anymore, and you’re not good enough.

Anyway, I hope you continue in your pursuit of wellness, and that you reach your goal of becoming a nurse. You look very content with your family and very proud of how far you’ve come. You deserve to be. Congratulations!

I saw you episode and had to contact you. I really feel your parents are terrible human beings, my mother is a terrible person so I know how you feel. I to have had problems in my life but I have chose not to let my parents effect me. I live my own life and make my own choices. I have had a great life for over 20 years now and I know you can too. I still see a therapist every 2 weeks. God bless you and keep fighting you are worth it and you don’t need anyone to love you if you love yourself and you need to do that for you and your child. I can privately give you my email if you would like to talk I will be hear for you!!! I am great you are great and we don’t need our parents to live a wonderful life!!!

Dear Amy, if you ever read this I hope you’re doing well. I’m sorry for all that happened to you and all that you did to yourself. Your update (2 years ago at this point) sounds wonderfully hopeful. Sending positive thoughts your way! <3

Congratulations Amy! I’m so very happy to hear you’re alright! I watched your episode and it broke my heart! I’ve been through some of the things you had to go through as a child. I could relate to your pain, I’m so happy for you. Keep up the good work and God bless you sweetie!

Good for you! You deserve the health and happiness you have now! Good luck with nursing school. You will be a tremendous nurse as you have empathy and strength. Your patients will be lucky to have you as their nurse.

Amy, I’ve only just recently started watching the show and, funnily enough, I just saw your episode last night. It definitely stood out to me, and it makes me so happy to hear that you are doing so well now! When I was in the midst of my narcotic addiction, I begged my (now ex) husband for help, I begged my therapist for help, I begged my doctor for help. My weight had fallen to below 100 lbs, my credit cards were maxed out, I was having regular seizures, and I found it totally bizarre that I seemed to be the only one who was concerned. I’d never seen an episode where the addict experienced something similar to what I experienced. Thank you so much for the update. You are amazing and strong, keep going!

Amy I did a case study for my substance abuse class based on your Intervention episode. How special you have commented on her to see that you are still a warrior! I have watched Intervention for 15 years and I must say you are very very strong. I am so proud of your recovery and hope you keep living a loving, healthy life that you deserve.

I watched your story this morning, Amy, with many tears. Unlike you, I am overweight, and have turned to food to numb pain, and have suffered from anxiety and depression since at least in my teens.

I am married, with 2 wonderful kids, but have had no contact with my immediate family for 2.5 years. I have never measured up to what they wanted me to be, and we have had many years of conflict. My parents abused alcohol, and in turn severely abused me, emotionally and physically. I have tried to remain very strong, and internalize pain, but it’s overwhelming. I don’t smoke, drink very seldom, and don’t do drugs. I try to stay strong and keep reminding myself that I am lucky despite how I feel. My parents live 30 mins. away, and have never been the type of grandparents to do things with my children (I asked 3 yrs. ago if they could come to stay with them for a weekend, either together or separate… who has to ask that?? I am fed up, and had to break free so I cold heal. Hoping that things would be different wasn’t working, so I had to keep my little bit of sanity and move on. .

I am an only child, so I don’t have the bond of siblings you do –it made me cry to see how much your younger sister loves you.

I live in Canada, and the support system here is so inconsistent. If you’re in a crisis, you get help, otherwise you’re waiting for weeks or months on a waiting list for treatment, or you pay a fortune and go weeks in between to get an appointment again. I have tried to not turn to other things as a crutch, but the pain is very tough to bear. I completely understand how you could feel like nobody cares anymore, and you’re not good enough.

Anyway, I hope you continue in your pursuit of wellness, and that you reach your goal of becoming a nurse. You look very content with your family and very proud of how far you’ve come. You deserve to be. Congratulations!

Hi Kristina, I was reading these comments and decided to reply to yours…I hope you don’t mind! Just wanted to share with you that I’ve been overweight all of my life. I am a compulsive overeater. I’m also a binge eater. I was raised with alcoholic parents who will both have 27 years of sobriety in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous! I found my way to Overeaters Anonymous 10 years ago and have lost 80-85 lbs. I have 2 years of solid abstinence with clean eating. I have so much peace and serenity with life and around food (most days). I’ve been able to succeed thus far with the support of the program and those in it. It’s taken much work but the serenity is so worth every bit of it! I have no idea if this is for you or not. I just wanted to share. If you have any questions or would like to talk please reply and we can figure out how to get in touch!! Hope you’re doing well????

Hi Amy.. Hope all is well with you and your family. Just finished watching your episode.. Very heartfelt. Proud of you for making the attempt and for pulling through. I know it wasn’t easy and that it can be a constant battle. I’m sure you know now that people never understand that it’s a disease that most people cannot fight on their own. Also know that people around love you, even though they may not show it all the time. As humans, we become complacent and tend to take things and people for granted. It’s ok to tell people, especially those close to you how you feel and that you may need a little more attention. We all need love and attention.. some more than others.. and that’s completely ok. We are all different.. no 2 people the same. Anyway, hope you’re having a great Thanksgiving day and a very happy holiday season. YOU DESERVE IT. Never forget that you are very special and that you have people around you that love you.

Amy, I hope you continue to read these comments. I felt for you so much and I am really pulling for you; glad to see you’re doing well.

I know what it is to finally work up the courage to ask for help only to be told you don’t have any “real” problems… because you can’t bring yourself to talk to your parents about what those real problems are, that’s why you’re asking for help. I know what it is to finally tell someone about a horrible assault and have them react coldly or in anger.

You are a survivor; you are so worth fighting for. I hope you are learning to love yourself and listen to your “smart side” even when Sick Amy is loud. You are enough. You matter.

Thank you everyone for your kind words. While I try my hardest last April I lost a sister (who was not in the episode) and last July my mother passed. Since then it has been a struggle. I am still clean and sober but have to fight everyday to maintain a healthy relationship with food. Your words of encouragement mean so very much to me

Hi Amy, I’m so glad to hear you’re doing well. I’m so sorry about your mom and sister. I understand where food plays a role in these kinds of life struggles. My relationship with food has always been very difficult except I’m on the other end of the spectrum…I’m a compulsive overeater. I’ve been in Overeaters Anonymous for 10 years and for the last 2 years have had solid abstinence and clean eating. My weight is finally ideal. But life is hard and many times it’s hard to live life on life’s terms…but thank God for the program of recovery…if I’m working it like I should it brings about so much peace and serenity. I’m so super proud of you for working on you…you are so loved by your family & you deserve peace and happiness. I’m glad you and your family are healing! I hope your friend Katherine is doing well also! Keep up the great work????

Thank you. It’s hard but I am in a good place health wise now. I am workin a very good program receives my 8 year chip in July. It’s amazing what comes from having a higher power and willingness to to take action. While my struggle with food goes up and down I’ve been at a stable weight fora little while now. And Kathryn is doing amazing.

Hi Amy, I’m so glad to hear you’re doing well. I’m so sorry about your mom and sister. I understand where food plays a role in these kinds of life struggles. My relationship with food has always been very difficult except I’m on the other end of the spectrum…I’m a compulsive overeater. I’ve been in Overeaters Anonymous for 10 years and for the last 2 years have had solid abstinence and clean eating. My weight is finally ideal. But life is hard and many times it’s hard to live life on life’s terms…but thank God for the program of recovery…I’ve never had so much peace & serenity. I’m so super proud of you for working on you…you are so loved by your family & you deserve peace and happiness. I’m glad you and your family are healing! I hope your friend Katherine is doing well also! Keep up the great work????

I watched your episode last night and was so moved. I too had childhood tragedy (death of 4 y/o brother when I was 5), I was sexually assaulted in HS, my Mom didn’t believe me, I had to leave home at 17 to find sanity. I also was a cutter from age 13 and a blackout drinker by 14. I was lucky enough to get sober in college, and stayed sober/clean for 20 years, ODAAT. I have also done a ton of therapy for childhood PTSD, which helped me so much. Just please know that this Recovery journey is so worth it, and though we struggle with life (and death), we can do it without allowing our demons take over. I still do 12 Step meetings, I have a sponsor, I work the Steps. I hit my knees every morning. Am I perfect?…Eff no! But my life is amazing. I watch Intervention to keep me fresh. Namaste, sister-girl. You are one of us…we hold you dear. Thank you for sharing your updates. ~ Peace

Amy, your episode meant a lot to me and I am SO glad to hear you are in a better place. I’m also very sorry to hear of the passing of your sister and mom. I can certainly understand how that would cause a struggle. You have come so far, you just have to keep on keeping on. Take things one day at a time and remember that you are an incredibly brave and strong person who is capable of just about anything. Hang in there and please know that I (a complete stranger haha) am proud of you! 🙂

Amy, I just re-watched your episode and I wanted you to know how brave I think you are. I was in a very similar situation where my parents refused to acknowledge my sexual abuse that occurred at a young age and blamed me for the assaults that happened when I was an adult. I felt worthless having to practically beg to get help and empathized with you seeing you in such obvious pain without anyone recognizing how urgent your needs were.

I too am in recovery for alcoholism, which is going well, as well as my eating disorder which is the hardest thing to overcome. I am so sorry to hear about your recent losses and am proud that you are still working on your recovery inspite of that. I truly hope that you continue to heal and find ways to fight on. You are an inspiration and a true survivor. Thank you for sharing your story!

Amy have you thought of trying medical marijuana? I am a recovering alcoholic, cutter, and eating disorder haver. Alcohol free, self harm and eating issue free for 9 yrs. Cannabis helped me do it. I can just relax and be happy to eat until I’m full and I have an outlet so I don’t feel like I’m white knuckling it thru life. I live in washington so its legal and I grow my own plants. I’m connected with the plant and earth, it is my spiritual medicine. In AA and treatment they leave no room for that…but i disagree. I have no desire or risk for going back to alcohol or hard drugs because I have cannabis and it helps me keep weight on. Just a thought for you and any struggling addicts out there. Thanks for being brave Amy, and showing us your story. <3