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Saturday, March 20, 2010

You started your year long sabbatical in Vegas?!

Well, sort of. The trip had been planned for quite some time. One of my friends invited me to be on the board of a 'special purpose corporation' a few years ago. I'm not exactly sure what makes it 'special', but we have three telephonic board meetings a year, and one meeting in person in Las Vegas. In previous years, I always felt pressed for time, so spent the bare minimum amount of time at the meeting (which takes about 4 hours in total). This year, I was able to stay longer and feel completely unencumbered. It was really liberating.

On the fun side, I spent much of my free time in 'The Pub' -- a bar in the Monte Carlo, watching first round NCAA tournament games. I also saw Frank Caliendo perform, which was really funny. No, I don't gamble, but I did get a tattoo (well, a Henna one -- skull and crossbones. I asked them for something with a pirate theme!).

On the more serious side, I spend quite a bit of time thinking about my meeting with Bob M. on Wednesday evening. At that meeting, I presented my thoughts and ideas about what I could do with my future, and he his response was more or less, "...is that all? You have the whole world open to you, and your choices are so narrow!". I was a bit crestfallen at first, but then realized he was probably right. I'm way too busy worrying about how I can leverage my past (job skills, contacts, etc.,). That tells me that I still haven't put the past behind me. I still haven't made an "End".

He also mentioned two things that hit home. He said it appeared that I've spent the first half of my life being focused on meeting the expectations of others, and subordinated my own desires. He suggested that there was still a little boy inside me that was trying to get out, and I needed to listen better to what he was trying to tell me, or I would end up in the same place I was at the end of my last corporate job.

I definitely don't want to end up there again, so I'm off to think more deeply about that "end", and what the voice inside me is trying to say.