……because I want to look as great on the outside as I feel on the inside!

Weight Watchers

I remember when I was down in the low 160’s, I went shopping and saw the size SML; the first thing I thought of was “huh, must be a one size fits all” I had never seen that size before, I mean, why would I, considering I had always been a L-XL. I tried it on and it fit. I went to the sales associate and asked her if this was a one size fits all and she looked at me puzzled, “um, no, that’s a SMALL”. WHAT!? I had finally got down to a small. Now before I let my head get too big I was teetering between a small and medium, it just depended on the cut. That lasted for a few years, then we all know what happened to your truly…I simply let myself go… now teetering the high 170’s. I went shopping today and tried on a large, it fit, but not like a “wow, look how good this looks” fit. So needless to say I put it back, I put all of the shirts back. I absolutely refuse to shop again until I get back down to the low 170’s – and then I’ll be shopping in my own closet!

I went up .2 last week BUT and that’s a HUGE BUT, I started my period that morning at 4am. I’m going to keep tracking. I’ve been there before and no one is going to track for me. I have a plan and will continue to work at it.

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when you’re just tired of being on WW for so long, but then you ask yourself – Am I being fair to my myself? NO. Have I followed WW the way it should be? NO. Do I have it in me to keep tracking everyday? YES.

As I think about WW and the success I’ve had – still wondering what is taking me so long to lose the weight. Maybe I stopped caring one day with just one meal and then that turned into not caring for 2 meals…3 meals…and on and on. Going down that slippery slope for the past 3 years now – I use to teeter-totter around the low 160’s – I weighed in at 181 last Saturday – WHO AM I?

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I’ll take it! I went up 2 lbs. BUT in my defense, had I been up to my old habits it could have been worse. I weighed in 4 weeks ago, and a lot has happened! Let’s see I spent 6 day in a hotel, a weekend in Lake Arrowhead, Disneyland, and 4 days in Denver. Yes, I’ve been busy and refocusing as much as I could with every meal. I tracked half the time with the intent of tracking everyday, but that’s okay. I’m reconnected and recommitted to myself and WW. Time to get (a lil) deep, I was in a remote area for a few days without internet, this allowed me to get in touch with what I AM doing and not checking in on others successes. Makes sense? Okay, I’ll explain, I find myself on Instagram ALOT, really just checking in on weight transformations and I can’t help but compare myself to others. Especially when there is a few months of work in between their before and after photos. I’ve been on WW for almost 6 years and of course I joke about taking the scenic route, but secretly, WHY HAS THIS TAKEN ME SO LONG TO REACH GOAL? Oh yes, because I haven’t wanted it bad enough, or….??? Who knows. However, after talking to a fellow WW we vowed that we would check in with each other this week to make sure we are tracking. So is it wasn’t bad enough to be held accountable to a scale, now I need to be held accountable to my friend. Am I making any sense? I just want to be proud of myself and post a before and after picture and credit WW. I just want to get into those Banana Republic (fitted) size 10 capri jeans. I was there once and gave myself every excuse in the book to either not get to goal or worse put some lbs back on, UGH! So once again, I am ready to refocus on what I NEED to do, not wallow and feel bad for where I am no longer. I CAN get there!! WE can get there!

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Does it really matter? YES! Since my last post I finished the 7 day Shaun T Week! it was great – I posted everyday after my workout so I became accountable to my followers. Who I am kidding, to myself. Shaun’s workout program is awesome and the great thing about it was that it moved fast! Seriously by the time I wanted to quit it was on to the next move. And I was never too sore to do the next day’s workout. I felt great and looked forward to my morning workouts. That was a first! I saw my mother in law after the first week and she made a comment that I looked like I was shrinking – SCORE! So yes, I could see that my body was changing, but more importantly I was feeling different. Like a good different! So different that I went shopping for dresses and had the confidence to even wear them 🙂 See my NSV – now that’s confidence! For those of you who know me – I have a hate-hate relationship with my legs. Um ok I just realized how short the white one is. YIKES! I think half of my confidence came from my mystic tan because we can all agree that fat looks better tanned. LOL!

So, now lets talk about my WW program…WEELLLLL…the week I was doing Shaun T, I rocked it, however, then I had to spend 5 nights at the JW Marriott in Los Angeles for a big Wella Trendvision hair show. We ate and drank EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. Confession; I didn’t weigh in today. I just couldn’t, I couldn’t face the fact that I had 1 really great week and then a bad one. Plus, I’m still on a high about wearing dresses. So now I’m back on track and starting Shaun T week AGAIN! Details to come…

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I just got back from a 2-day vacay in Las Vegas and had some eye-opening feelings that I once had a LOOOOONNNNGGGGG time ago. I’ll probably be all over the place with this post so like always…try to keep up! I was in LA from Sunday to Wed for work. Most out-of-town business trips have alcohol involved. Yup that again..alcohol; it’s a great way to unwind after having a stressful few days. What I need to remember is that working our has the same great benefits 🙂 I was determined that when I got home I’d go grocery shopping for all the right foods. So I went to Trader Joe’s stocked up of veggies and fruits and was looking forward to getting back on track. THEN, the husband called and said we need to get away for the weekend, let’s go to Vegas. “Ok” I said, and that night we were on our way. So far, so good, right? Got to Vegas around 3 am and slept until 10 am Saturday. Then we headed to the pool. Ahh yes that dreaded pool… water…bathing suit. I’m not one to feel insecure, however, I did feel that way when I looked around and saw women who were bigger than me sporting 2-piece bathing suits. I’m the last one to judge anyone, but there were a few women that probably should not be wearing a 2 -piece, however, I found myself jealous and admiring them for having the confidence to be so comfortable in their bodies. Who knows, maybe these women work out and just feel so good about themselves? Maybe they just don’t give a crap? We all have our own inner struggles, but these women…not a care in the world. Just loving life showing their appreciation to their Creator for giving them the body they were given. Secondly, throughout the weekend I couldn’t help but think of the time in my mid-20’s when OPI was about to go on a cruise, I knew of all the eating that would be involved, so I made sure I had a plan when I got back. I brought WW to OPI; it was my safe haven. I also remembered that when I use to weigh 180 people thought I was about 150 because all I did was 20 min of cardio and lifted weights everyday. I felt smaller and great all the time! Why did I forget that? How did I forget how great I feel after a good sweat? How was I motivation for others? I like to look at before and after pics on Instagram and that got me thinking…IT IS TIME!!!!!!!! It’s time to take the now pictures and (re)start my journey to in progress pictures. I don’t like to use the word “after” in pics because I will always be a work in progress. My life is a winding road and I just hope that I can get back on track. I want to feel better about myself and I know that I need to make myself first. I’ll be traveling quite a bit this month, and every hotel does have a fitness center – READ – NO EXCUSES! I also need to remember that this change will not happen overnight, BUT I know that it will happen every minute that I keep track of my WW points and exercise. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to take a picture and workout. Have a great week! Muah!

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This past weekend was crazy! I had to go with my mom to urgent care on Saturday and ended up admitting her to the hospital. I stayed the night with her on Saturday, and she was released on Sunday. She was diagnosed with gastritis, an irritation of the stomach lining. We first thought this was caused by her diet, which is fast food at least 3-4 times per week. In fact, I even had a conversation with the doctor in hopes that he would tell her that she can’t eat fast food anymore. Anyways, I had a big Ah-ha moment.

Try to follow along…I had a great weigh -in, well I lost .6 and was completely surprised by that because although I tracked I over indulged a bit actually twice. Anyways, that got me thinking yes I can do this and my motivation kicked in. I had plans Sat night for a gf 40th bday adn was totally looking forward to it! After WW, I went to the gym and then as I was on my way home, my mom called me…see above. I had to cancel my plans 😦 I was bummed but what could I do. My gf and I signed up for the first WW Focus event on sunday, so of course I wsa nervous about not beign able to make it BUT I knew that I NEEDED this and there was no way I was going to miss it. And I didn’t. 🙂 I made my ME time work.

This is where it gets good… I mentioned that my mom’s diet is no bueno. My mom treats herself to fast food pretty often I’m thinking because she is super busy working fulltime and caring for my grandmother who has alzheimers and feels like she deserves it. I can now totally relate! I was driving to my meeting thinking about what I was going to have for lunch and thinking that I deserve to eat a bad meal/high point meal because I’m stressed and had to take care of my mom over the weekend – WHAT!? I literally felt how my mom must feel when she get stressed and wants to find comfort in food for even a few minutes. So, did I give in? NOPE! Proud moment on so many levels.

I’m going away this weekend to Temecula – wine country I will try my best to stay on track. Wish me luck!

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Husband and I went to the San Diego Fair last night, I still think of it as the Del Mar Fair because that’s what I grew up on. Anyways, I’m on a mission to not eat all my extra 30 weeklies on the weekend. So this is how it all want down: I had 23 points left by the time I got to the fair – I had a 6 pt breakfast and 1 pt muscle milk (grownup chocolate milk)

I counted that pilsner as 5 pts. I ended the day consuming 40 points total – YAY only ate 10 of my weeklies!! SUCCESS! Now on to Sunday!