Friday, November 14, 2008

I feel afraid that my family will fall apart and resent me for not being a good wife and mother.I feel afraid that I will remain in this 60 year old body.I feel sad that I am missing out on special memories like my kids' birthday parties and going to the pumpkin patch and late nights with my husband.I feel frustrated that there are a pile of things that need to get done, and I can't do it.I feel angry that my family keeps waiting, waiting, waiting for me to get better instead of filling in the blanks.I feel hurt that they won't do more to help me get better.I feel lonely in trying to battle this disease.I feel disappointed I'm not getting help.I feel confused at how to ask and sad that I should have to.I feel sad that I am a burden to those I love, that I am placing burdens upon their shoulders that were never supposed to be theirs.I feel powerless, because no matter what I do, it might not be enough to heal.It hurts me that God would do this to me.

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About Me

I am a 46 year old stay at home mom. I have been married since 1988 to the world's best husband. We have six wonderful children. My husband and I are starting our own small business together. I have had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since about September 2006. It's such a strange disease (illness? condition? ailment?). I wanted to create a place where I could come and write about what it's like to deal with the challenges of living the CFS life. I honestly believe that sometime, somewhere, some doctor is going to magically tell me, "Oh, I know what this is!" and I will be cured. Until that time, I'm hoping to learn something about myself and maybe help others.