Saturday, December 18, 2010

"The first time you asked me to listen to this song, I didn't like it, but I just told I liked it to make you happy. But after listening to it some more times, I really like it... Thanks for sharing the heavy metal song. If not for you, I wouldn't have gotten to know the song!", she told him enthusiastically, kissing him on his forehead and ruffled his hair. The fact is, she was still lying.

She hated the song and when he asked her to listen to it the first time, she couldn't even act, and thought he might have suspected that she lied. Accepting an earlier lie, and lying affirmatively is the best way to lie. She knew that. It was not just about the song. She would do anything in her power to keep him happy. After all, he didn't know why she was "super nice" to him.

He also did not take her for granted. He also loved her very much, more than anything or anyone in the world. He would strongly disagree to the old fashioned habits which treat women lowly, for example, wife should eat after husband, etc., and he would always eat with her even if she tried to give some fake excuse to eat afterward, but, I don't know why he would expect her to remove his shoes and socks after he returns home every day.

Eventually, he came to know why she treated him so special and the reason for her to be "super nice" to him no matter how sad or disappointed she was. It is after around thirty years, when his eight year old son played a heavy metal song he got from his friend, to his wife and asked 'how is this song, mom?', and when she told, "I don't like heavy metal songs, but after listening to this, I started liking them. Thanks for sharing. If not for you, I wouldn't have known about these kind of songs" and kissed him on his forehead and ruffled his hair.

[PS: Could this be a better alternative ending for this story? After the son asks 'how is this song, mom?': Start reading from the beginning of the post.]

Sunday, December 12, 2010

[Disclaimer : This post is completely an imaginary incidence. I am working in one of the "Great Places to Work" and my employer has nothing to do with this and any opinion expressed here is solely my imagination.]

'Skip level meeting', in an abstract sense, means a meeting with your boss's boss (manager's manager). It is very uncommon and will only happen if there is a 'special' need for it. Only in a few companies this 'skip level meeting' is part of the process. You know, generally, managers have the ability to screw up the life of his team members and this skip level meetings give a slight chance for the employees to screw up the life of their manager :) by complaining about the manager to the manager's manager.

[Jumping to the story. I don't know what names I can give the characters as it has to be the names which has nothing to do with any of my colleagues/manager in my career. So, let me go with my school mates names. Lets say, Kumar is the employee (the hero), Venkat is Kumar's manager and Sekar is the Venkat's manager.]

"Come on in Kumar. Please sit down.", Sekar invited cordially with a smile. Since this meeting was not requested by Kumar, and since Sekar's attitude was very pleasant, Kumar got some confidence that is not going to be a 'you screwed... bla bla bla' kind of a meeting. At least, he thought like that at that moment. "Thanks Sekar", told Kumar and sat on the chair meant for him.

[Lets skip all the parts where Sekar tells Kumar that he is doing an excellent job and he is a valuable addition but he needs to be more proactive and improve his communication skill. I think in all the meetings with the managers, the sentences 'you needs to be more proactive' and 'you can improve your presentation skills a bit more' will invariably be present.]

"So, Kumar, are you happy with the team?""Yes Sekar, I am very happy with my team. I have no complaints.""I sensed that your relationship with Venkat is not smooth. Is there anything you want to tell me about that?""I don't know how and where you got such a wrong information, Sekar. I am having a good relationship with Venkat.""It is completely okay Kumar. You can tell me. Think of this as a 360 degree feedback. Your name will not be used in any of the assessments.""But the 360 degree feedback was over couple of months back right? I have been honest in filling that. I am happy with my team and my manager""It is okay even if you haven't been honest in your feedback. I wont use that against you. I want everyone working in my team to be happy""Well... I am happy here."Sekar's cordial smile faded away. The smoothness in his speech was gone now. He looked more serious and continued..."You know what? This is the problem of IT industry. Manager's can screw the employee life. They are given a great responsibility, but most of the managers think of the responsibility as mere power. Having personal favorite employees and screwing others even though they are good. I don't want such things happen in my team. I heard that Venkat openly insulted you when you missed a tough deadline. So, if you want to discuss anything, or if you have any complaints, please let me know. I will protect you.""Sekar, I agree with what you told about managers and their responsibilities. I agree that Venkat scolded me in front of everyone when I missed a deadline. But I have no grudge against him. I can't let one simple incidence to judge him. Also..." "But...", Kumar stopped talking when Sekar started to say something. There was a moment of awkward silence and Kumar continued, but this time, Kumar was not very polite. He maintained a strong eye contact and told every word of it heavily, so that Sekar understands that Kumar has understood what was happening.

"I understand that even though managers have the power to screw the employees, they need a reason, at least a dummy reason, to screw their life. I am pretty sure Venkat wouldn't have done anything to me because of the incidence. He is a good person and a good manager, whether I like him personally or not. I don't want to...", Kumar's voice trailed off. He didn't want to continue and he didn't need to continue as Sekar is smart enough to understand what he was about to tell. Which is...

"I don't want to give you a reason to use such a trivial incidence to screw with Venkat's life. You are his manager and you have the POWER to screw him even if you get a simple negative feedback about him."

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Well, I thought the word 'masochist' means the people who enjoy being in an unpleasant situations, but googling gave me a complete different meaning for that word. I have to tell that this post is completely in an asexual context. I want to start the post with a simple incidence which happened some time ago.

My friend had asked me to give him a lift to get a doctor's appointment for his wife. We went to the hospital and got to know that the day's quota was over and that we would have to go back the next day. So, we started back and on the way, after a minute or so, he told me, "Let me tell you what will happen when I tell this (quota over and should go back the next day) to my wife. The moment I tell this, she will get irritated and shout at me 'Why didn't call me and tell me that? I would have told about other doctors or about medicines, etc.'.

There was a slight pride in his face that he knew what would happen and that his theory would be proved right. I stopped the bike and told him, 'If you are so sure that it will happen, why not call your wife and tell her that the quota is over?'. He was momentarily stunned and might not have expected me solve the trouble, and might have expected that I might actually test his theory. He had called his wife and the problem/trouble was over.

This incidence gave a good insight about people to me. And this is the reason I wrote this blog. Why are we so cruel to ourselves, by putting ourselves in an uncomfortable situation, just for the sake of proving that we are right about the consequences of our act? This really sickens me. I have thought so much about this to crack another insight about this. Of course, the insight I got is extremely boring and far fetched to be made as blog easily. Nonetheless, I will anyhow write about it in the future.

Friday, September 24, 2010

This post is useful only if you have (or will have) problems watching some movies in your computer, but, it will not hurt to know some of the problems which you may face sooner or later and how to solve them. This post is about vertical lines (blue or green or pink colored) which come when viewing movies (or any videos) in your computer. The problem may also be horizontal lines, but I have never faced a horizontal lines issue.

This problem mainly occurs because you have installed a lot of players (VLC, Media Player Classic, BS Player, etc.) or installed a lot of video codecs. The root cause of the problem is some of the codecs you have installed has messed up with the video rendering of all your players. That said, if you are an expert in manipulating applications, you can go right ahead and go to the options (or preferences) and change the video output to a new value and try out.

If you need quick guide:

VLC:

Tools -> Preferences -> Video (and change the Output to : DirectX 3D Video Output). If this does not solve the issue or if it is not there, choose some other value and restart the VLC. This should fix that.

Media Player Classic:

View -> Options -> Playback -> Output (You will have a lot of options you can select. VMR-7 (Renderless) worked for me. You can try various things and select whichever suits you. Note that you will have to restart the player everytime you try a new output mode)

BS Player:

Press Ctrl+P (or right click on the player and choose Options -> Preferences) Select Video from the left side and select Video Rendering tab in the right. You can choose "Internal Renderer RGB mode". It worked for me. If it doesn't to you, try other values and don't forget the restart BS Player everytime you try a new value.

Thursday, September 09, 2010

It is always fashionable to say 'I am passionate about music/photography/dance/drawing/cricket/golf/etc'. I don't know whether people really understand the difference between 'passion' and 'interest'. Passion is a very strong word, but still people use that word just to sound fashionable. Is everyone who says being passionate about something really passionate about it? Or they just have an interest?

I don't know whether I am passionate about music or not, but, I would say music is the King of all the arts (Doesn't this sound fashionable and irritate most of you?). Music, dance, photography, drawing, etc. are all amazing arts when you want to listen/see them, but, what is more joyous when you are the one who is creating/performing the art? Even when no one will ever listen to what you are playing, dealing with music, either listen to it or playing it will give you the most ecstasy than anything else, IMHO. (If someone wants to contradict, please let me know what you feel.)

When you are creator, music will bring the most joy to you. By 'creator' I don't mean that you have to compose a new piece of music. Even when you are playing someone else composition, even if no one else will ever listen to what you are playing, playing a music instrument is a tremendous joy. This aspect is what is unique with music, I think so. A photograph or a sculpture or a painting will give you joy when others see it and appreciate it. Am I right?

As with most of my posts, what I wanted to tell you has nothing to do with what I have blabbered above. The personal wish (from the title) is that, I want everyone who reads this post to listen to one of my most favorite music pieces. It is Moonlight Sonata Movement 1, composed by Ludwig Van Beethoven. I wish that you watch it with your headphones without any rush or impatience. Even if you already know this piece and listened to it, please try to listen to this particular interpretation from Wilhelm Kempff.

If that piece of music meant something to you and if you liked it, try to listen to the second and the third movement of Moonlight Sonata played by the same genius Wilhelm Kempff. Thanks.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Its been soon long I have opened blogger.com, but I am surprised that I haven't missed a month. I had decided long back that I should post at least one blog and utmost three blogs in a month. Glad that I haven't failed yet. Sorry for this stupid intro which has nothing to do with this post... Lets jump in!

Very recently I have purchased a very costly electronic gadget. I have been thinking of buying one from a relatively low range, but, as you know, thousands get added to your budget gradually and I ended up buying that, which would be too-much-to-think-about-at-first. For every thousand I had to add to the budget, I felt guilty. 'This is too much... you shouldn't waste that much money on this... bla bla bla...' was flowing in my mind.

Later I realized, no matter how much I feel guilty, I would anyhow buy it and at last bought it. Still now I couldn't convince myself whether it is worth that much or I am worth that much to buy such costly item. This incidence gave me an insight into an interesting interpretation of people. The 'I am feeling guilty to spend so much on this' is a great act/lie/pretending we do to ourselves. We feel better when we think/say 'I am feeling guilty to buy such a costly item' even though it is not really the case.

What we basically need is, someone should say 'It is okay. It is worth it. You are worth it. You go ahead and buy it' :). I knew I wanted to buy it and I knew that if I don't buy it, I would be restless and frustrated, but still, I needed a lot of convincing. I am wondering now what would have happened if no one tried to convince me. Probably I would have bought it anyway :). It is so pathetic!

But still there is a residue of 'feeling guilty' within me even after buying it, and I need your help. Suppose you are to buy a Rs. 50,000 item on your credit card what would you buy with it? You may buy anything, not necessarily an electronic item. [I promise, it is not a pathetic attempt to get more comments. I promise again.] You may ask how will it help me to get rid of the guilty conscience (or you may not ask). I just want to know what you would have bought. Thanks!

Sunday, July 04, 2010

He normally hates to get stuck in that particular traffic signal as it is a very big junction and it would take a long time to get the green signal. He hates it very much as he gets stuck very often. But today it was different. Today, he liked the red signal and wanted it to be there for as long as possible, as waiting near him was a very beautiful girl.

He looked at her and surprisingly, she looked at him back. It was a casual exchange of sight but it continued for a long time. He first thought, 'Could she be blind?' and immediately disposed the idea as it was not possible. He casually turned back and checked whether she was looking at someone behind him and there was not anyone who looked even remotely a competition to him.

When the casual look was no more casual and when it became curious, only 15 seconds were left to get the green signal. He kicked his bike and started it. When he got green signal, he was waiting for the traffic in front of him to move. She thought, "Hmm... not bad... he is not like many other aggressive, born-for-impatience (அவசரத்துக்கு பொறந்த), annoying, irritating @$$^)!#s who blow horn the moment green signal was given...". He thought, "Shit! I have to get the battery recharged first... otherwise, I would have blown the horn to get her attention better..."

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

[Please click here to read the first part of this story. This is a continuation of that post.]

When Aravind was confused, he got a call back in two minutes. Saravanan sounded excited and he told, "The driver has made arrangements for the wiper da... but the passengers were going to complain about the driver and change the driver. There was a lot of excitement... so only I couldn't pick up the call da".

"I am at least happy that the wiper is arranged", said Aravind."But all the passengers have irritated the driver da. He is driving like crazy.", Sarvanan's voice was heavy."It is okay da. They would have encountered such things millions of times. Not to worry. Don't worry. You will reach safely.""Hmm... lets hope so... Aravind, you had your dinner?""No da... that is the problem. Here also it is raining and there is nothing here to cook and I am starving da. Don't know what to do.""Oh shit... your voice was dull and worried from the beginning da. I sensed it, but I was blabbering about my problems. What to do now?""I am thinking of going out to have dinner. But at this time only A2B restaurant be open.""It is far away right? You can't walk to the restaurant da.""I know da. I am thinking of taking your bike. Do you have enough petrol?""Aravind... you don't know riding the bike well. That too, it is night time and is raining. You don't even know the road conditions. I don't think you have to do this. Take an auto da.""Its okay da. There wont be any traffic and I can ride slowly and safely. I am hungry like hell. Auto guys will ask triple the amount now.""Take care da. I am not happy with this idea, but please be very very careful. Call me once you are back. I will be waiting for your call."

It was time Saravanan started worrying about Aravind rather than himself. He tried to fall asleep, but he couldn't. He can't even close his eyes. So, he took out his mobile and smsed Aravind "Don't forget to call me once you reach home. I will be waiting for your call". Since calling Aravind would be risky, he smsed him, as it was possible for Aravind to be riding the bike. Aravind received this sms when he was enjoying the dinner and read this sms. He smiled and kept the mobile inside to finish his dinner.

After he finished the dinner, when he was about to leave to his room from the restaurant, he thought of sending an sms to Saravanan and typed his number and typed the message, "I reached home safely. Don't worry about me. Sleep tight. We will meet tomorrow." Within minutes, a sudden brake happened in both of their lives. Aravind's sms became a lie and he never met him after that in his life... After all, how can Aravind meet someone who didn't exist in his world...

[After several hours, many minutes, and a few seconds later...]

"I should have died... not you... I am responsible for your death..." murmured Saravanan without crying, but still very sadly. He heard Aravind's voice "Don't even think like that da... Even if you have died and I was alive, it wouldn't have changed anything. We are playing against hard computer and 2 vs 5 is very very tough right? Wait... I will call Suresh... He plays Counter Strike very well... If we three play, we can device a better strategy and we can play 3 vs 6"... Aravind took out his mobile and typed Suresh's number and called him. In a moment, he shouted, "shit.. how many times would I do this mistake of typing the wrong number?" and started to type Suresh's number again...

Monday, May 31, 2010

[Spoiler: Part II climax beginning: They never met after that in their life... After all, how can Aravind meet someone who didn't exist in his world...]

Saravanan was in full terror. Everything had gone very wrong that day. Every gestures, every sign he got when he left home was bad. He was leaving to Bangalore from his native town Thanjavur. Every time he traveled, he would pray to the Gods and this time, when he prayed, the lamps got put out by the wind (from no where). He used to get wishes from his parents every time. That day, his father told, "Why do you have to prostrate every time? Leave this habit." Though he told that casually, Saravanan felt really bad and considered it as a bad sign.

To add to his despair, he had got the first seat behind the driver in the right side of the bus (in case you don't know, in case of an accident, the people sitting in the right side of the bus are more prone to much damage and people in the first row in the right side will be the first casualty in case if there is any). Something in his mind told that it is not advisable for him to travel that night. But he has already taken one day leave and he can not afford to take one more day. Though Saravanan does not believe in this kind of bullshit thinking, this day, he felt for sure that something wrong was in cooking...

The bus started and within an hour, the driver stopped the bus and got down. Saravanan didn't know what was happening. He thought, 'Wow... it is my luck... may be a tire is punctured.' But it didn't seem like that. There was some commotion happening outside and people were getting down to know what it was. He was shocked when he saw that the driver had got some kind of nervous breakdown and he was telling like 'I couldn't drive. I want to relax. Please give me some time' and was flailing his legs and hands. The passengers who had got down said, 'It is okay brother. Please take your time. Take rest every one hour'. Never in his life Saravanan has faced this kind of strong eerie signals.

Trying so hard to be cool, he got into the bus and the driver had come after some five minutes and started the bus. When Trichy should have been reached, the bus was still going somewhere outer and there was a sudden break. What the? The driver had found out that, he was driving in a wrong route for the past 15 minutes. Instead of taking Salem road, he had taken Madurai road. It had started raining. After a lot of struggle, the driver managed to take an U turn and reached Trichy. Though it was already late, the bus was not started for a long time. So, Saravanan inquired the conductor about the delay. The conductor told, "The wiper is missing. The driver has gone out to make arrangement".

It was not raining when Saravanan had left home, but now, it is raining and the bus does not have the wiper. 'Shall I get out of the bus and go by another bus?', Saravanan was asking himself. But he asked the conductor politely 'But brother, without the wiper, how can we travel in this rain?'. The conductor answered irritably, 'We have to go by whatever means and however the situation is'. Saravanan got really very nervous by this time and he was asking to himself, 'Should I call my father and tell this?'. He decided a big NO. He couldn't let his family be in terror and he definitely didn't want to terrify them and not let them sleep for the whole night.

But he wanted to talk to someone. This could quite possibly be the last night he was going to live. He didn't want to die in despair and hopelessness if it happens. So, he took out his mobile and called his room mate and one of his best friends, Aravind. Aravind's voice was not encouraging. He seemed disturbed and sad when he attended Saravanan's call. Saravanan told everything to Aravind. He told about all the wrong signs and how bad the situation is. Aravindh's voice became ever more worried and sadder, but still, he told Saravanan that 'Nothing will happen da. You wont die at least until you become an uncle (Saravanan's elder brother was going to become a father in a couple of months)'. They both laughed at this light joke.

Saravanan talked to Aravind for some 15 minutes and he cut the call. Saravanan felt much better, but Aravind didn't feel well. He wanted to talk to Saravanan. So, after 15 minutes of thinking and hesitation, he took out his mobile and dialed his number slowly. Thousands of stupid, sad, terrifying thoughts were running in his mind. When he pressed the green button, there was a moment of deafening silence. He started hearing the caller tune. The full caller tune was played and Saravanan didn't pick up the mobile.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Express Love - What is the first thought which came to your mind by reading the title? If you had thought that I was going to tell something about the express love which happens in the world (and that I would be scolding it back and forth with a lot of smoke coming out of my ears), then, I have to thank you that you have actually read some of my posts and have got a good (in the sense, accurate) opinion about this blog.

In fact, I have got some feedback from my friends that I am only good in scolding others/things. One of my friends told blatantly, "the only thing you know is to make fun of others and scold things. You don't know how and what to write about good things". I went through the pain of reading my past recent post in various blogs and concluded that 'he is right'. But this post has nothing to do with express love with express as an adjective (is it an adjective? Am I wrong?). It is just 'express' as a verb.

Suppose, I tell you that 'someone becomes very angry on a person', what would you think that the someone would do? As soon as possible and as much as possible, he/she would do everything in his/her power to show that he/she is angry on them. It could just be gestures, or shouting, or scowling, or in the worst case, breaking the things around them. Suppose, I tell you that 'someone loves another person very much'. The love here could mean the love between friends, husband-and-wife, father/mother to their children and vice versa, or people who are in love. What do you imagine first?

Among friends, you may imagine that they are going outside and simply talking? Or they are playing a game? Or what? Among husband-wife, the expressing of love may differ greatly on how long have they been married :). Among parent to their children, what can you imagine? Suppose a parent loves the son/daughter and if suppose the child is not a child but a grown up adult, how can you imagine them expressing their love? If the child is hurt, the parent will worry more than anyone else? You imagined like that? Or how? How can a grown up adult express his/her love of his/her parents and vice-versa? In either case, the people will not (or can not?) tell others that they love them.

If we want to imagine expressing anger, we can easily do it. If we want to imagine expressing love it is very difficult to imagine (of course, I understand that anger is universal and almost common for all kind of relationships and love differs), but still, expressing love is a very difficult thing. Am I right? This is the problem with me, actually, I wanted to express something else with this post, but the on-the-fly-junk has won the actual-junk and I think I will have to write another post to write what I actually wanted to write (three 'write' in one small sentence.. awkward right? :)) as the size of this post has already become big. seeYouSoon();

Sunday, April 25, 2010

[This post is not advisable for everyone because of very mild sensuality in the content. Readers discretion is required.]

She was not there in the office for three months. He didn't miss her at all. After all, they were just colleagues. In fact, he didn't even realize that she was not in the office. She has returned from US, after a short on-site opportunity. He came to know that she is back in office only by a personal mail from her to him.

He couldn't believe that she even had him in her mind and he was thoroughly excited to read her mail. He ran to her place. Stood there silently for a second. Thousands of thoughts were running in his mind. Though it is a tall cubicle, people passing by can easily see what anyone does in the cubicle. When he was making up his mind as to what he has to say, she gave him kisses!

Should he be extremely happy? or should he be disappointed by her attitude? He doesn't like such people, but, who cares? This is the first ever time he is tasting kisses. She looked into his eyes. It was an intense look and he couldn't take it anymore. With her eyes she asked him 'want anymore?'. But, he needed time. It is going to take a lot of time for him to digest what had just happened.

He left the place without telling anything. He was very angry on her in one millisecond and was very happy the next millisecond. He said 'thanks' after walking some 5 feet. He heard her giggling. Gosh, he was blushing... he should have talked to her face to face.

He came silently and slowly to his place and told his team mates what had happened. They also ran to her place and got two kisses each. When they all met, one of his friends told, "Man... what is she thinking she is doing? She was there in US for three months and got only the cheap kisses chocolate? It is bull shit man. At least she should have got some snickers or bar chocolate".

[PS: The total time taken to conceive the idea and finish this post was about 30 minutes. Please forgive me for the shallow character development and junk ending and a junk post.]

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

[Disclaimer: The author of this post is NOT responsible if the reader pukes after (or during) reading this. Continue reading under your own risk. Readers' discretion is required.]

[Background: We had a mutual friend who used to talk to us like us ("hi da machan... eppudi da irukka..."). He went to US and within a week, his style of talking had changed to (kadum peteru) 'dude... wazzup' :). So, me and my friend used to make fun of him, talking like that and we had continued talking like that for many days. So (taken from gTalk history; name masked)...]

Thursday, April 15, 2010

[Surprisingly, this post is NOT going to be R rated but still reader's discretion is required ;)]

The one word which never fails to terrify me and to make my spine chilled is 'marriage'. Seeing, listening and hearing about marriages only make me tremble. Though it has always terrified me, it has never worried me as I was very far away from it. But now, though I am still far away, I can't stop feeling the terror and tremble inside me.

About six months back, when one of my room mates got married, I couldn't actually believe how he could be ready for marriage. He is just an year older than me. So, when I and my other room mates were getting ready to attend his marriage, I told my other room mate, "I don't think I can ever be ready for my marriage". One wise guy replied, "When you see your friends, colleagues and room mates getting married you will start to feel insecure and automatically get ready for it". It was not convincing for me though.

My policy has been "When I see a successful marriage, I will say okay for marriage". But it only seems that if I stick to my policy, I will die as a bachelor :). Then I thought a little deeply... What do I mean by a successful marriage. A couple who never gets a misunderstanding? A couple who never has any quarrel? A couple who never gets in a fight (not necessarily fist fighting :)). An ideal couple in a romantic movie? What defines a successful marriage? Or to tell dramatically, a couple who despite their difference in taste, understand each other and appreciate others' feelings? Obviously not giving birth to a baby...

Any dramatic, cinematic, romantic definition to marriage will be laughable. In fact, any definition for 'successful marriage' will be laughable. I am not talking about how the life will be after the marriage. You may get more problems from somewhere and still be happy with marriage (spouse and marriage are analogous in the context of my thinking). You may get absolutely no problem from anywhere and but not happy because of the marriage. Why almost every married people advice others 'not' to get married? In this case, why marriage is considered a great event in life? Why parents happily get their children married?

When two completely total strangers marry, before the marriage happens, there would be a lot of so-called-well-wishers(family or friends) advice them all the possibilities of 'how to screw your married life'. I have seen people who advised their friends 'never to help his wife in cooking' as it will lower your self prestige and they will start to expect more help. This is a small example. People may advice 'don't ever give up your self prestige' 'always keep her in her line' 'show who is the boss' etc. These are all the perfect recipe for disastrous married life. Of course, there would be a lot of advices from well-wishers for girls also. What they don't realize is, all the people who give such ideas are NOT happy with their marriages and they are just waiting to add another member in their group. So, as soon as the marriage is over, they try to apply all the advices they had got from others and slowly (or very quickly) screw the marriage.

So, what I am thinking is, anyone who is going to marry, should have an open mind. Should have absolutely no expectations from the spouse. 'Expectations' seems like a small word, but is the devil in the disguise. [but can expect that he/she is going to marry the worst junk girl/guy in the entire world :)] Should not take advices from others as how to handle the spouse. If you don't have any idea or plan on how you will treat your spouse, you better don't get married. Should not watch movies, as movies portray ideal couples which is very very improbable in this world. Should not suspect what had had happened in their spouse life in the past. Should be willing to be happy if she/he is loyal to the marriage.

I can keep writing non-sense here, but I want to finish the post with a one-liner 'There are only two ways you can be happy. You adore your ego and try to be happy all by yourself or you kill your ego and be happy with everybody else. The choice is yours.' (Oh... yes... it has three lines) This applies to your married life also. I know, this post is spontaneous and random. No links between each paragraph no concrete opinion and no solid result. These are all glimpses of thoughts I get and there are many more (to come?)...

Sunday, April 04, 2010

I can not handle the pressure. No way. I can't. I was happy when the number of people who read my blog was reasonable (around 5 to 6, which included my father, occasionally my sister, myself, and couple of my close friends who were trying to find a reason to fight with me and get away from me.), but recently, it has increased tremendously to a very high number (around 8 to 10). Because of this, I am in a constant pressure.

And this blogging has become quite addictive and cruel. I missed a bus, I wanted to write about it. Someone told something casually, I wanted to write about it. Someone sneezed, I wanted to write about it. Someone didn't sneeze and I wanted to write about it. It has become out of my control. I realized that I am wasting a lot of my office hours in reading/responding to my/others blogs/comments. It does not seem good, especially, when the appraisal is around the corner ;).

So, I have decided that I wont visit blogger.com and also (any).blogspot.com. The only way this can be controlled is, to take a stubborn decision that I wont write/read any new blogs/comments. Even if not permanently, at least for a short time. But if I stop writing, suddenly it will imbalance the happiness quotient in the world as certain people will become ecstatic from being relieved from my blogs and the God may become angry on me :). So, what can I do?Suddenly, the 40 watts bulb above my head started glowing. Gotcha! The only solution is, I will write some blogs for the next 3 months and schedule them and then take an decision that I will NEVER visit blogger.com and blogspot.com!!! Fantastic, right?. Of course, I will moderate the comments and publish them (if I get any) through gmail. I will reply to the comments ONLY if it asks any question or calls for an argument (it is very rude if I don't reply to a comment which asks a question/argument, so I will come to my blogspot and reply to it). Please be assured that my thanks and gratitude will be there for every single comment you post.

See you all my dear friends after June. I will catch up with all the blogs you fantastic bloggers post in the mean time. I can give you a hint that blogs will be posted on 10th and 20th of March and 1st, 11th and 21st of April and 2nd, 12th and 22nd of May. The topics (need not be in the order) are: Conversation With A Friend, Completely Imaginary Love Story, நான்புடிச்சமுயலுக்கு அஞ்சு காலு, My Top 10 Tamil Old Songs, Mothers' Love Vs Fathers' Love II, I Love My Children, Story - Based on a true incident, and Demo of a Demo, Kisses. Since all these posts were written in a very short time without much thinking, they may NOT be like my other posts... who knows, they may even be good for a change ;)

byeForNow();

===== It Is =====

'I will not visit blogger or blogspot for several months' is a stupid decision and I think it will be impossible. Blogging is a part of my life. Even if not a small part, at least a minute part. So, what I had decided is, I will not access these sites during office time, at any cost. The posts I have written previously will be posted one by one at regular intervals. If I get a new idea or topic I have to write about, I will inject it. Thanks!

Friday, March 26, 2010

[Disclaimer: The post contains offensive language and is not recommended for everyone. Readers' discretion is required]

I have been having a post "Quitting this cruel blogging" in my draft for more than one and a half months. I just wanted to make sure that I will stick to the content of the post and have been waiting to make sure I have the commitment. But suddenly this thing happened and I couldn't control. So, the post goes like this...

Recently I went to my friend's marriage and I traveled with my close friends. When the bus stopped for dinner, one of my friend's vanished. We searched for him and was shocked to find him standing in dark and smoking. He was not a smoker, but he told that he just had one fag as his room mates were making fun of him, that, he can not smoke. Now, he wants to smoke as and when it is possible.

I had a senior in my college who used to smoke a lot. He was noisy also. Later, I had got to know that he started smoking because people made fun of his appearance (he looked a little girlish). So, to prove that he is a 'man', he started smoking. I don't know how in the fuck smoking makes people think masculine... Smoking was once done only by men long time (or sometime) ago, but nowadays, girls are also smoking. I am really sick of this 'hey... be a man... smoke...' attitude.

If you guys want to prove that you are man, go and join army... or get married and father a child. Why in the hell you had to smoke to prove that you are a man? Medically, I think, the more you smoke, the less 'man' you become. If you say, "I like smoking... it helps me go to loo without any troubles... it helps me forget about my hunger... it helps me relieve my tension..." something like that, it is okay. Of course, it is NOT okay, but still acceptable. But saying that "I am smoking because I want to prove to my friends that I am a man" is really pathetic. You have to feel pathetic to think like that, because you are pathetic.

I don't know whether I have to feel pity or angry on guys like that. Who am I to feel pity or angry on them? I don't care if men want to become impotent or get cancer and die on their own free will. But it really hurts when friends suddenly start to do it just because they feel weak or inferior and they were insulted by crooked people to start smoking. I really am NOT sorry if my friends get hurt by reading this, because I am hurt more...

Monday, February 15, 2010

[This post is NOT recommended for less-than-18-years old readers. Also, this is not recommended for sensitive people. Readers' greatest discretion is required.]

I hate all the special days like friendship-day, brothers-day, sisters-day, mothers-day, fathers-day etc. and the top of my hatred list is this bloody valentines-day. While the reason I hate the other days are simply (the cliched) 'these days are just marketing strategy to make people spend. They are you friends, brothers, sisters all days. You don't have to create junk traffic in the internet or gift costly cards to prove it'. But this Valentine's day, I hate it because of another reason (not just because I don't have anyone ;))

It is because, the current trend of love(?) and how much build-up is given by media about it. Seeing, and hearing about how things are going on in this crooked world makes me doubtful of what the hell the word 'love' means in this world. Of course, there is no (2 marks) definition that states, 'Love is nothing but...'. It is so projected that 'love' is the cheapest (both by price and the intrinsic value) thing in the world.

Look at the advertisements (boy... I want to write a separate blog about the advertisements)... it only makes me feel that this modern-day-love is despicable. IMHO more than 90% of the 'I love you' means 'hey, you look sexy... and I want to have an affair with you... but this half-baked western culture will only deem us as lowly people if we just have an affair. So, for now, I will say that we are in love... we will get as much intimate as possible... and lets see what happens after that'.

I don't know how many of 'I love you' even think about the life after 2 or 3 years. It is just like how marriage is a license for living/dying till you die, 'I love you' is just a license for living for a short time (or till the marriage with someone else). And to even think of what such 'I love you' has its objective as, only makes me more and more loathing about it. And there are so many different ways to get hold of someone to say that and take advantage of. I can write a blog about that also, but it would only be too disturbing and despicable.

And this Valentine's day is just an excuse for these kinds of lowly activities. The amount of hype given to this is too much. And to the height of all this nauseating things, even BSNL sends sms like 'Find beautiful girls to talk to who are willing and bold. SMS to this number.' (something like that). WTF? The Valentine's day is used by the people who want to say 'I love you' (in the above meaning) but couldn't; to say that, or for people who have already said that to get more physical, or for people who are already in the peak of things to get separated to find someone new.

Don't mistake me here. Don't be seething with rage. I am not against 'love', in fact I love 'love' :) and only because of that I cant digest the injustice that is done to it by the name of this stupid day. I have seen people who are truly in love. I have seen people who are so much in love that can only be seen in movies or read in novels. I respect them. I respect their love. So, IMHO, love is either holy or bullshit (holy-shit could have been more rhyming :) ). I respect if that is the first case and I loath if it is the later. You are now free to tear me into pieces with your comments.

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Quarrel, the word (or any word which means the same) I hate most in any language. I am not talking about the quarrel that happens in the road, or in the reality shows or in the assembly :), but the quarrel that happens inside our known-people-circle. I don't mean physical fight, but I mean heated arguments, strong disagreements, questioning and criticizing (known) people.

Things which happened in my life made me think more deeply of the nature of quarrels that happen between friends, siblings, colleagues, relatives, and spouse(s) :). The result of my self realization is that, there are absolutely NO surprises in a quarrel we participate, whether you start or respond to it. What I mean by NO surprises is, we know exactly what is going to happen before accusing or abusing or criticizing our friends. Yet, we go ahead and deliver the dialogue which we have rehearsed in our mind to them.

For example, whenever I am going to accuse my friends for not picking up the mobile when I call or not responding to my chat, I know exactly what they will answer. I also know what should I reply for their reply and so on. But still, I do that and get the temporary pleasure to have succeeded in my act I have rehearsed in my mind. Then later, I will apologize for being rude and everything will suddenly become normal. The thing is, many many people fail to do the last step in this act which slowly builds up the bitterness and finally end in a friendship-fatal fight.

How many of you who is reading this, has ever apologized for a fight? Of course, only if the mistake is with you. Or how many of you can accept that the mistake is with you (also) in a fight? Even if you know that the mistake is with you, have you ever been willing to apologize? Simply go and talk something else can solve the problem, but apologizing from the heart will make the situation much much better. I don't have to tell these things. Everybody who reads this is a mature adult. Everybody knows this. But why very very few people follow these things? I have got no clue...

When was the last time you had a surprise in a quarrel, I mean, you expected your friend to respond in a way but he accepted/apologized for the criticism (you must except me ;) ). So, the next time when you are participating in a quarrel... do whatever you want to do... :) I am not going to advice you anything as I perfectly know that, soon after you close this window (if you have read till now :)), you are going to be the same person as you were before reading this... I just wanted to log my self-realization :)

Monday, January 18, 2010

[This post is not advisable for sensitive readers as this post contains abusive strong language. Readers discretion is required]

Everytime, every single time I travel, within minutes, I will want to write a blog about it. Definitely not good about things, but how cruel traveling and transportation has become. But I always give up the idea because all I can write about it will be abusive and full of offensive words. But this time, it has just gone too much. Once again, I have to warn you that this post will contain strong language and not advisable for everyone.

This is how it went on that day:I had to sit in an aisle seat. The one who occupied the window seat was a friend of the idiots who were sitting in the front row. The moment the bus started, this idiot called the conductor of the bus and asked him to switch on the TV. Bloody Shit! I loathe those guys who are so damn inconsiderate about others and want the volume in the TV should be high in the night journey. But fortunately, the TV was not working. Thank God, you are with me!

But no, God was NOT with me, but Satan was. That idiot was trying to make a lot of lame jokes about the bus as loudly as he can, and the idiots who were sitting in front were laughing as loud as possible. It went on for an hour. Why the hell was he trying so hard to get the attention of others. Bull shit! Actually, my friend does not approve of me to talk offensive words which would not scold the assholes but their family. He would say, "Why to use that word da? You can use (sensored), (sensored), (sensored), (etc.)" :). I would be able to follow that as long as I am confined in Rage I.

After an hour, another group got into the bus. When the bus started moving, one of the guys from that group, took a big cell phone, and started playing songs. WTF!? It was so damn loud that, the idiot who was sitting near me stopped talking. So loud and so noisy. When I was thinking "What the fuck is your problem you asshole!", suddenly, a big noise of belch Yeeaaaarrrrrrppppp. Normally, if we are to belch, we will try to close the mouth and let that gas out of the bus right? But that SoB (I was in Rage II), did that by learning forward and was close to me. My best guess is, he had had Chicken Biriyaani and Butter Chicken Masala some 38 minutes ago. I felt like puking.

After some more minutes, someone called the conductor and told that there are a lot of bed bugs in the seats. Only then I realized that all the time, those were not mosquito bites, but bed bugs bites. What is the scheme God? What do You plan? You want to challenge me that I can't stick to my greeting message in my mobile? But why do You have to do that always in traveling? So, it is a test for me right?

But I decided NOT to write a blog about this. I thought, "It is part of life and I have to put up with these kinds of difficult times. I shouldn't lose my temper and write an offensive blog about these innocent poor people. After all, they are doing this in a desperate attempt to catch other's attention right? I have to understa..." My thoughts were disturbed by another bigger, more powerful, nastier smelling, more offensive Yeeeaaaaaarrrrrrrrppppppp. My thoughts continued as "You (completely sensored Rage III language)"... and result is this blog.

Sunday, January 03, 2010

[This post is not advisable for everyone because of mild sensuality in the content. Readers discretion is required.]

It has been more than a week. The guy had to go out of station for an office trip. He didn't feel or think that it would be painful to be apart from his love, at the beginning. After all, it is not like they have fallen in love recently and that every second, or every minute would seem like hell if he is not with her. Also, it does not mean that he does not care about her. It is something not ordinary people would understand.

It was not easy for him to find her. He had a lot of criteria and preferences. But out of nowhere she came into his life and snap they are made for each other. He had no preferences as to the color, height, weight, etc. After all, external factors matter only for few months (they say) and he knew that. It is the internal beauty he was looking for.

Their idea of romance and love is simply seeing each other with eyes receiving love, touching and feeling each other, and singing together. It does not mean that they don't have fight at all. If she is not responding to him, he gets mad and beats her, but believe me, it wont hurt her and he knew that thoroughly. He would immediately feel sorry and will beat himself, as though it would make her happy, but only to see that she pleads him to stop beating himself. Such love which is scarce existed between them.

During the time they were not together, he would think of her and feel that she was also thinking of him. They didn't need an electronic instrument to talk to each other. He would dial in his mind "my love" and immediately get the answer "I have been counting the seconds to receive this call, my love" from her. Whenever the breeze which touched her came and touched him, he would unconsciously close his eyes, look slightly upwards with palms clutching each other and take a deep breathe. He felt her presence then.

Anyhow, the ordeal was over. He had returned from the trip. He was thoroughly excited when he was opening the door. He didn't make any sound and he wanted to be utterly silent. He knew that she would know if he comes and when he comes. Yet, he would not expect her to run to the door and throw herself over him and kiss him. She was silently waiting in his bedroom. He quietly removed his shoes went into the bedroom. She was still silent. He undressed her, a single touch and she was turned on and he started fondling her.

Without any disruption or distortion or any stumbling, she sang the Fur Elise piece of music in the exact rhythm he wanted to play. Then he tried the other pieces which he knew and everything just flew beautifully. Wow, that one week gap did not make him forget his favorite pieces of music and he had not lost his touch with the music keyboard.