While the concept is one easily identifiable, the peice itself needs work.

You had a pattern established with,
"Im slipping, and they don't know"
Followed by,
"Flick, Click, Flick"
Then wrapped up with,
"A song plays"

You broke the pattern with, "Im slipping, and they don't know. My fight inside, I cannot show. The feelings hidden, my intentions, no. For help, I seek, I cannot go."

The other distractions technical errors (almost ll of your I'ms look like im or Im) and the spelling of cigarette. The overall tone of the words you use are not the same. Example: don't and cannot are both in one stanza. There is nothing technically wrong with it, but it knda bugs me.

This is one of my favorites now; I noticed before, but I didn't take time to read it. Now I wish I'd read it sooner.

I mostly identify with the line "I'm slipping, and they don't know" mainly because I know so many people, yet no one really knows ME. They don't know what I want to be, don't know my fears... they can't even remember my birthday.

I truly love this poem, and it doesn't matter when you haven't been writing well; everyone has their ups and downs. Just hang in there. :)