It began as a conversation about a vigil marking a day important to
everyone in the room, but for very different reasons. To some in the group
it represented a day of liberation, a day when women gained an important
measure of control over their lives. To others, it was a day for mourning,
a day when the murder of unborn children was made legal.

But the friends gathered around a table at Trinity Presbyterian Church
had no harsh words for each other. As they shared stories about a recent
prayer vigil that marked the 32nd anniversary of the Supreme Court
decision that legalized abortion, their voices reflected concern and
affection. No trace of rancor or hostility could be detected.

After two years of meeting together once a month, they still disagree
on the matter of abortion, but the members of this assembly are committed
to finding common ground and to lessening the chance of violence in our
community.

As the discussion moves on, it turns to the matter of how pregnant
women seeking an abortion might best be provided with truthful information
and real alternatives. Each of the eight or so people around the table
participates, engaged by the possibilities.

Meet the Blue Moon Group. What follows is the transcript of a January
meeting I attended. I learned of the Blue Moon Group when one of the
members called me after I’d written a column despairing the polarization
in our country over deeply emotional and seemingly irreconcilable issues
that arise when public policy and matters of faith collide.

In the column I lamented that we seem unable to even engage in
respectful dialogue, much less work together to achieve goals almost
everyone can agree on. Bonnie Frontino called to tell me I was mistaken.
Such a dialogue was taking place, right here in Asheville. With the
group’s permission, she invited me to attend a meeting. Again, with their
permission, I made a tape as they introduced themselves. I took a rough
and unedited transcript for them to review to a second meeting in
February. At that February meeting, I was unprepared for the conversation
I was privileged to listen in on. I had not asked their permission to
record or take notes, so I did neither. As a consequence, the summary I
just gave of a remarkable conversation that began with observations about
a prayer vigil is only a sketchy outline that in no way does it
justice.

Because they seek to find common ground and to reduce the chance of
violence in our community, and that requires communicating beyond their
membership, the group has agreed to allow me to attend their meetings in
coming months and to occasionally report on their continuing
conversations.

The transcript below has been read by all the members of the group who
were present and has been edited for clarification. Recording began as the
members took turns reading the group’s “Purpose and Traditions,” which
they do at the beginning of each meeting.

Jeff Hutchinson: We gather together in dialogue, realizing that while
our views on abortion and religion may differ, we bring to the table a
unified desire to find common ground and to lessen the chance of violence
in our community.

Bonnie Frontino: We come in peace without intention to impose our views
on abortion on one another, but with a commitment to understand those
views, and to differentiate fact and fiction on the issue and to get to
know one another as people and citizens of this community.

Lynn Von Unwerth: We participate in this dialogue recognizing the
importance of this process. We participate in hopes of increasing
communication among ourselves, which we anticipate will lead to greater
mutual respect among all sides of the abortion issue, even beyond our
immediate group.

Donnie Williams: We recognize that our discussions may involve
controversial subjects and sensitive topics that mean much to each of us.
Thus in our discussions we will not gossip, interrupt each other or try to
dominate one another, but will consciously seek to listen carefully, speak
respectfully and be open and honest in our expressions.

Dr. Lorraine Cummings: While the fact that we are meeting is not a
secret, we agree to keep the details of what we discuss confidential among
those of us in this room, unless we agree otherwise.

Monroe Gilmour: And we have agreed today, while Joy Franklin is here
from the Asheville Citizen-Times, to let the details of our discussion be
on tape for her review and then for review by us if she decides to use it.

Chuck Andrews: Following our discussion we agree to this: We leave here
thankful for the opportunity to talk, appreciative of each person in this
group and committed to continuing to build respect among all sides of the
abortion issue in our community. We go in peace until we meet again.

Franklin: Jeff, could you tell me how you came to begin meeting?

Hutchinson: Obviously we’ve all known that abortion is a very
polarizing issue in our culture in general. Those of us in this group, I
don’t think anyone here is, uh, kind of wishy-washy on the issue. If you
are in this group, you are either strongly, from your heart, with
conviction, pro-life or strongly from the heart with conviction
pro-choice. We’d all observed both in a general way in our culture and
then with some specific experiences some of us have had some of that
polarization, and felt that generally and personally. I think we all
desired for some way to move forward together as a community. Speaking
personally here, there weren’t many times in my life when I’d actually
even had detailed conversations with people who were pro-choice, let alone
the level of dialogue we’ve been able to have in this group. So for me it
has been an excellent learning process. I think the one obvious thing that
we’re all very, very glad about is that without knowing folks on the other
side of this divide personally, we’d each have the temptation to
dehumanize people; if one’s heart is particularly tempted to evil and you
go further, you demonize. And I think each one of us, without question,
would say that we feel a personal respect from everybody in the group
toward us personally. And we all have that respect for each other. That’s
some of the basic background. I’ll say a word about why we call ourselves
the “Blue Moon” group. Our first meeting just happened to be at Blue Moon
Bakery in downtown Asheville. And one of the members of the group just
made the comment one time that she never thought she’d have an opportunity
for a dialogue like this, and only once in a blue moon does something like
that come along. So for want of a better name, we’re the “Blue Moon
Group.”

Franklin: Could each of you say a little about yourself and about what
being part of this group means to you?

Hutchinson: My name is Jeff Hutchinson. I am senior pastor at Trinity
Presbyterian Church. We’re a member of the Presbyterian Church in America,
which is a denomination that is founded on the authority of Scripture and
is an evangelical denomination that looks to Christ alone for salvation.
As a denomination and also my personal belief, and the church officially -
because we believe the Bible teaches that life begins at conception - we
are bound by conviction and by faith. We believe that life begins at
conception. That’s what the Lord teaches through his word, so we want to
be consistent with that ethic. But we also believe, obviously, that every
human being (well, this is why we believe that life begins in the womb),
that every human being is created in the image of God and is worthy of
respect. And so to depersonalize, still worse to go further and demonize,
a fellow human being is incredibly inconsistent with Christ’s teachings,
his ethic and what the authority of the word teaches.

Frontino: My name is Bonnie Frontino. I am a nurse midwife at Femcare.
The impetus for getting involved in this group is my neighborhood was
picketed with signs of pictures of me, and I did feel threatened,
personally threatened by this. There were things made available about my
whereabouts, too. Being very concerned with my safety and the safety of my
neighbors, that’s when we started looking into ways that we could get
together with some other people in the community to try to find a way to
reduce the threat of violence.

Von Unwerth: My name is Lynn Von Unwerth. I am the nurse practitioner
at Planned Parenthood. Basically, I got involved with it for the same
reason that Bonnie did. I had received threatening things in the mail and
had on and off for several years. I think at the time we all got together,
(Eric) Rudolph was still at large, and we’re all concerned about the whole
violence issue; that has been my biggest impetus for joining the group. I
have been involved in the abortion issue for 26 or 27 years. I am well
aware that nobody is going to change anybody else’s mind. Period. I mean,
it just isn’t going to happen. The issue is not so much as changing their
minds because it really is a moot point. Everybody has their own beliefs
and I’m not going to change anybody’s mind about anything, but that we
could understand each other well enough to make sure that none of us got
hurt, whether that was a pro-life person being accosted by a pro-choice
person while they were picketing or vice-versa. Or something happening to
Lorrie or something happening to (me). So that was the point of getting
together for me.

Williams: My name is Donnie Williams. I’m an associate pastor at
Trinity Presbyterian Church. I have been here in Asheville about three and
a half years. In addition to what others have just said, one of the
reasons I was brought in is, I had had some opportunities for mutual
contact with some of the folks who had protested and been making lists of
names that were somewhat threatening. And so, I counted it a privilege to
be able to enter into discussions to see how any of us, myself included,
could help. And it’s been wonderful. I think I speak for all of us when I
say we’ve come to break molds for each other. We all had various molds
broken in our time together. And just on a, not really trivial side, but
there are other benefits in coming and being part of this group. (In) my
family, we now have a cat. I think I got some homemade jam along the way
and plants and someone (Bonnie) brings cookies pretty regularly and they
are good cookies. But I’ve been around the (prolife/abortion) issue for
quite a while. I have a younger sister who is adopted. So this issue has
just been on my radar and in my heart for some time.

Cummings: I am Dr. Lorraine Cummings. I am the owner of Femcare. I
actually made the call to Jeff that fall of 2002, when Bonnie, who I
employ, and Monroe, who is an escort, did have things occur that were
personally threatening to them. I called Jeff, not knowing what would come
of it, and I have been amazed at the outcome. It has been the best
decision I ever made to make that phone call. We just wanted at that time
to focus on the violence that we saw possibly escalating in our community.
And that was really the reason the call was made at that time. But it has
grown from there.

Gilmour: My name is Monroe Gilmour and I am a volunteer escort at
Femcare and a community organizer on racial discrimination and bigotry.
... I didn’t have picketing in my neighborhood, but my neighbors and I did
receive the mailing that they are talking about, and felt that same
threat. And so when Lorrie told us about this meeting that we were going
to go to, I went with great nervousness and trepidation that there were
going to be these stiff guys in three-piece suits, you know, and here
comes Donnie with his Pittsburgh Steelers hat, and Jeff, and they
immediately put us at ease. I think their openness despite their very
solid convictions about abortion, that their openness has really been an
example, I think for all of us. The group has expanded, in fact there are
more than just (those) here today involved with the group. It just has
really been an enlightening experience. I find myself wanting to shout
this out to the world, and yet it is scary because we are not quite sure
how to do that in an effective way. I have just found in all my community
organizing activities, if we could just get some of the other institutions
that I am working with to be so simple and willing to talk and not call
names and to get beyond that, it would be a lot easier work for me, so I
really have enjoyed this group.

Andrews: My name is Chuck Andrews and I am a ruling elder at Trinity
Presbyterian Church and have been over the years involved in pro-life
ministry. In fact, years ago, when Operation Rescue was active in
Asheville, I was arrested a couple of times, and really haven’t wavered
from my desire to see an end to abortion. And yet in my personal theology,
what Scripture teaches me is that some of the tactics that have been used
in the interest of ending abortion are contradictory to what Scripture
teaches. And they’re wrong. And so when I had an opportunity to be part of
this dialogue, it was very uplifting to me. I am behind the idea, and
really come to value the friendship of people whose views on abortion are
diametrically opposed to my own.

Wingfield: I’m Ann Wingfield. I am a member here at Trinity
Presbyterian Church. I had gotten wind of this meeting; it had gone on for
a couple of months. I heard about it from Jeff. I’m a nurse, and I told
him I had encountered Dr. Cummings in a nurse/physician relationship and I
have great respect for her position and capabilities and her relationship
with her patients and that kind of thing despite the fact that we’re very
opposed on our views on abortion. I’m very pro-life, myself. I still have
great respect for her, and Jeff invited me to this group.

Franklin: How have your relationships with one another evolved over
time, and what kinds of things did you do to gain one another’s trust?

Hutchinson: Well, we’ve been meeting for over two years now and I don’t
think a single meeting has moved the momentum of relationship-building
backward. Every single meeting we have deepened our friendship with each
other. For me, personally again, not that I am necessarily sheltered, but
you can only talk to so many people in your life, and I just had never had
deep conversations, let alone friendships, with people who believe
strongly that the unborn child is not yet a child. Let me say this, too
... not having those personal experiences, pro-life folks can sometimes
paint with very broad brushes, and take the worst elements of the
pro-choice movement and assume that that represents every pro-choice
person. I think that the other side has sometimes done the same thing. I’d
heard and read news reports about abortion doctors who really are
targeting minorities and poor single women and that sort of thing and
really in it for the money; that’s been my impression reading some
stories. So the value of actually having some face-to-face conversations
with Bonnie and Lynn and Lorrie and Monroe, and just seeing them as real
people ... again, every meeting has been a deepening of our friendship.
But I’ll say this, too. Donnie mentioned it earlier, but they’ve just been
kind. These friends have been kind, and generous, in giving me free food,
we’ve had time together in each other’s homes at different points, and uh,
free plants. And that means a lot. It just means a lot to be treated with
respect. My heart can be pretty hard sometimes, but it’s pretty hard to
not give respect back when it’s shown toward you. They have been kind to
me. For the record though, I do think they are wrong about abortion.

Von Unwerth: I’d like to say the same thing. I have to say that I’ve
been working, like I said before, with abortion clinics and family
planning clinics since 1976. Up until this encounter, this is my first
meeting with pro-life folks that I consider very, very dear friends of
mine. And I enjoy their company, and it’s really been a huge benefit to my
life, especially after all those years of being afraid and ... all kinds
of things that were not fun experiences. To have this kind of friendship
and respect, and we laugh and I don’t remember that there has been any
time in this group that there have been any mean words said, where anybody
has had any animosity to each other, from the very beginning. I don’t ever
remember any of that. I think is phenomenal, given what we’re talking
about.

Frontino: To kind of summarize it, if somebody shows up at my house
again threatening me, I know a whole lot of people in this room that would
help me.

Williams: I just wanted to reiterate what has been said already about
the sharing of each other’s time and lives. We’ve opened our eyes to each
other’s extended families, outside of our group. They’ve been wonderful.
Also, if the pro-life/pro-choice debate is indicative of polarization ...
that’s one thing I have noticed in my brief time in Asheville, that it’s
indicative of the bigger picture of a sort of a rift. Sometimes this is by
default, and in one sense, healthy. But a rift between say ... the
religious community and the nonreligious community, or the Christian
community and the non-Christian community, and that has been a source of
curiosity, frustration at times. I am grateful for this one opportunity
for us to sort of bridge some of that rift, in our own way.

Cummings: It’s kind of hard for me to verbalize it, but what I have
found most valuable is the ability to be able to explain myself to other
people. Because I think it has been hard for people to understand how I
can perform abortions and how can I live with myself. And I have had to
really think about this in my own life. It has made me examine my own
beliefs and I just feel like we’ve come from different worldviews. I am
focused on the woman who is in front of me and the hard decision that she
is making. I feel like she is who I want to support. That’s the person who
means the most to me. The potential life that she carries is extremely
valuable, but I am making the judgment that I am focusing on one life
versus the other. I think pro-life groups focus more on the fetus because
there is no one to speak for that potential life. And I do understand that
better now, but still my convictions remain the same, that I still have to
focus on the people whom I can help — the woman sitting in front of me. It
has been good to examine my own beliefs, but it’s also good to understand
where other people are coming from. Being honest in expressing our beliefs
in this group has built trust among us.

Williams: Just to reiterate: I got off the question, but one thing that
has helped me to build trust, too, is generally the blowing of
stereotypes, but even hearing … stories from some of you, what led you all
from general OB practice into this and seeing these torn-up families and
hard life situations. That was very eye-opening for me. It just revealed
some of the general concern for people, specifically for women in certain
situations.

Gilmour: You asked how we built trust among ourselves. I think back, I
think it must have been our second or third meeting, and Jeff turned to me
and said, “Could I talk to you about something after the meeting?” And it
turned out that he had a situation in his church where someone was being
threatened with ethnic intimidation. We went from that meeting to the
family’s house. I work with victims of hate crimes and discrimination.
That situation became a whole new issue to work on. I’d forgotten, no not
forgotten, I hadn’t thought about it, but the fact that he would ask me to
come and help him on that problem, that developed a real sense of trust.
We had a very powerful meeting with that family, and eventually got the
person convicted of ethnic intimidation and communicating a threat against
the 15-year-old biracial girl in his congregation. And that was a very
powerful experience, I think, for both of us.

Andrews: I think one of the things that has built my trust is, it’s a
process. As Jeff said, we have been meeting now for over two years and I
think when people are willing to let their guard down a little bit and
just speak their mind freely, trusting that the other person is willing to
believe the best for them, just basically trusting that the other person
is not going to intentionally take the comment out of context or
intentionally twist their words, but really, trusting that they do
understand, that builds great trust. I think that that’s a process that
began rather quickly in this group, and we’ve seen it grow.

Wingfield: I don’t know that what I am going to say answers your
question appropriately. I feel like my family has kind of lived on the
edge. Too many kids, and then (we) home-schooled them and different things
like that that people I thought were in our camp attacked us for. And so I
thought, “How could it be for you guys?” To have people you knew weren’t
in your camp be so attacking. I had people who were in my camp that were
attacking, so I know what that feels like to get attacked and attacked. So
I think I just wanted to offer my friendship.

Von Unwerth: This goes along with what Ann said. Bonnie and I did a
workshop at Appalachian State in Boone and it was on abortion, and we did
it for the NOW group there. Ann’s son, Isaac, stopped by intentionally to
see us while we were doing that speech and talked to us afterward, and
said he wanted to say “Hi.” It was so meaningful for us, especially
because he is really pro-life, and he came by to see us because we’re
friends with his mother.

Williams: I was just thinking of a really concrete example of, again,
blowing stereotypes. There was a woman who had been coming to Femcare who,
from everyone involved in this group’s perspective (who) was tending to
her thought that she probably really didn’t want to go through with this
decision. She kept backing out of it ... three times, four times. We had
talked a little bit about that. A couple of us, Ann, and then myself, we
had the privilege of talking to her because Dr. Cummings had referred her
to us to talk her through (this decision). She (Lorrie) just kind of had a
— more than a hunch — that this woman did not want to go through with this
and it would be very fruitful to talk to one of us. And we had the
privilege to talk to her, and to the best of my knowledge, she did not go
through with the abortion (turns to Lorrie, who confirms that he is
correct). She did not.