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Friday, May 11, 2012

For Fathers of Unborn Children: the Complete Guide for More Sanity

I pulled this from my friend Socorro Smith's blog - I did not write this, but I got a kick out of it, agree with it whole heartedly (minus the fact that the pregnant woman is only sick for 3ish months...I was sick the whole time), and wanted to share it:

Dear fathers of unborn children. Your wife is
pregnant. Please cut her some slack. In fact, please cut her as
much slack as is humanly possible. In the first three or four months the
fact that there is a little tiny person taking over your wife’s entire life
might be completely incomprehensible to you (and heck, you may even be in
denial), but it’s something she is reminded of every second of every
day.

Have you ever had another
person decide to take up residence in your body (which you’ve had to yourself
for 20 odd years) and suddenly start calling all the shots? Well let me
tell you, for the first bit it’s kind of like having the worst roommate
ever. Chances are, your wife is feeling sick, puking, not feeling like
eating even if she can, having a lot of mood swings (no, she can’t control them),
has to pee all the time, and is extremely tired. There are a few
variations, and some women have it easier than others, but a good rule of thumb
is to treat her as if this is the case.

So, since I hear guys
aren’t mind readers, here is what you need to be doing:

·

· If you know what your wife likes when she isn’t feeling
great, do it. LOTS of it. Unless she says otherwise. Some
good ideas are foot/back massages, watch her favorite movie with her, cuddle on
the couch and talk, buy her flowers unexpectedly, write her a note, etc.

·Be willing to talk about the baby and the pregnancy, in fact, be
the one to bring it up. Talk to her about the future, how she feels about
the pregnancy, etc. Most likely she’ll do a lot of the talking, but it
will mean a lot to her that you’re showing interest.

· Chances are, if your wife does certain things to make you
feel better when you are sick, she’ll be happy to have you do the same for
her. Think really hard about how you like to be taken care of while
you’re sick, or things that you liked your mother to do back in the day, and do
it for your wife!

·Be really patient and remember, she isn’t feeling great even if
you can’t really see it all the time.

·Offer to let her take a nap. (This
is in bold because I think it's super important!!!). If she has chores
she needs to do or dinner to make, offer to do them for her so she can take a
nap. If she tries to refuse, insist (lovingly). This is especially
crucial if you already have a child, offer to take him/her out of the house for
an hour or two so she can get some rest without hearing her child in the
background. Mommies have a hard time taking a break if they are
constantly reminded that their child might need them.

· Please be sympathetic. It’s a lot like having a mild
case of the flu for three-ish months, I’m assuming you’d be pretty cranky if
you were in her place.

· Be sympathetic to her mood swings. Her hormones are
seriously running the show at this point, if she gets cranky at you, say you’re
sorry for making her upset, offer to talk about how she’s feeling, and ask if
there is anything you can do for her. If she bursts out crying
unexpectedly, just hug her and tell her you love her. In general, it’s
not a good idea to ask her what’s wrong, because she might not know, and that
might just make her cry more. I know this sounds like I’m asking a lot,
but the most important thing you can do is to act sympathetic and caring, even
when she’s acting crazy. You are a manly man, I know you can do it.

·If there is something that she says she wants to eat, get it for
her, quick!! If your wife is one of the (un)lucky ones who can barely eat
during the first part of her pregnancy, it’s really important to get her
anything she thinks she can/wants to eat when she says she wants to eat
it. Important tip, she may not want it for long, so do your best to get
it soon, or figure out what the next craving is.

·Tell her often how much you love her and how much you appreciate
the sacrifice she’s making to bring your baby into the world!

· Bottom line? Be willing to make a lot of concessions
for her for the next several months, pregnancy doesn’t last forever, just hold
on and try to make it the best experience possible.

You may think I'm
absolutely crazy, so you'll just have to trust me on this one. I know
this sounds like a lot to put on your plate, especially if you’re working or
going to school full time (or both!!), just know that it will be soooooo worth
it! You don’t have to do all of it at once either, just make an effort,
and I promise it WILL pay off.

1 comment:

LOL - love it...poor Spenser. Sometimes something would sound good and we would drive to that restaurant and by the time we made it to the parking lot, I was puking again and couldn't even handle the thought of what I had wanted five minutes ago!! I'm pretty sure he was thinking that he had married a crazy person (but he was very sweet about it, thankfully :).

Hornibrook Family December 2015

ERIC & JESSIE:

Eric and Jessie met in a BYU singles ward. Dating was a long time coming, but once it started, it really took off! Their hobbies are centered on whatever helps them spend time together, but their favorite thing to do is play games. Sure, they really enjoy board games (like, really enjoy them), but their favorite pastime is video games! Fun for him and an interactive movie for her! Most of the time, Jessie watches Eric play - but they do have several 2-player games that they both fancy.

They love to laugh, act goofy, and all around have fun; trying to not take life too seriously unless the occasion truly calls for it. They adore their kids, Triple A, but they absolutely LOVE date night and mini-vacations!

THE HORNIBROOK FAMILY:

Eric is from Oregon and graduated from the Marriott School of Management at Brigham Young University in Organizational Behavior and Human Resources. He loves anything dealing with technology and is an amazing drummer. Eric works as the IT Support Supervisor at Precoa. He manages the support team, handles purchases and outside vendors, finances, and much more.

Jessie is from Utah and graduated from the Brigham Young University Marriott School of Management in Recreation Management and received a minor in Ballroom Dance. Jessie coached dance and worked as an event planner for international conferences before she got married. Since then, she's continued to teach dance, but she's also worked at home as an editor. The English language has ridiculous, unnecessary rules, but she loves them all!

Aaron was born July 7, 2011, and is the most crazy kid you'll ever meet! He has an amazing smile, an adorable giggle, and climbs everywhere - literally. Aaron loves everything "boy" - superheroes, cars, LEGOs, you name it! His favorite place to be is outdoors - he loves playing with his friends, riding his bike, digging in the dirt with his sisters, and every sport he can get his hands on. He has just finished kindergarten and had a great year!

Audrey was born July 18, 2013 and is an adorable, little ball of loving manipulation - she's extremely cute, and she knows it! She loves being a princess, cooking play food, pretending to do her hair/make-up, singing and dancing. Her favorite place to be is wherever Mama or Daddy are!

Adelynn was born June 6, 2015 and is always smiling - literally, always smiling, especially when she's being sassy (which is all the time)! She loves to sing (a lot), explore, and play by herself, but she absolutely loves playing with her siblings - dress-up, pretend, anything they'll let her join! Her favorite place to be is a comfy couch to snuggle up while watching a movie.