5 Karma-Friendly Alternatives to Putting a Love Spell on Someone

These love spells will help you establish beautiful romantic conditions in your life while respecting the free will of others.

Yes: putting love spells on other people is a thing.

But that does not mean you should do it! As I wrote all about in this post, in most cases (namely the ones where you are overriding someone’s free will), it’s actually a pretty terrible idea.

Think about it: in addition to all the gnarly karmic backlash you will almost certainly unleash upon yourself, do you really want to take away someone’s free will so they will ***fake*** love you? Is turning a person into your robot love slave actually what you want? If the answer is yes, please be honest with yourself and see that desire for what it is: sad and desperate. You deserve someone who actually loves you and legitimately wants to spend time with you.

That being said, I know there are times when it can be tempting to cast a spell on someone to get them to think they adore and desire you just as much as you adore and desire them. That’s why I’ve assembled these 5 alternatives you can use in a variety of situations.

1. Attract an Awesome Partner

When you think you just have to have a certain person, the truth is, you want to be in a relationship with someone awesome who authentically desires you just as much as you desires them. Of course, this person may indeed be the person you have in mind. But it may also be someone else entirely. This spell leaves the specific person up to the Universe, which always (always!) has the best possible results.

On a Friday when the moon is between new and full, anoint a pink pillar candle with sweet almond oil and roll it in sugar. Place it in the center of a dinner plate. Sprinkle the petals from one red and one pink rose around the candle in a clockwise direction. Light the candle and say:

Just as I desire passionate and romantic love, somewhere a perfect partner for me desires the same. Whomever s/he is, I summon him/her now. Come to me, lover, so we can delight in each other! Universe, please bring my divinely designed love to me! Thank you and blessed be.

Allow the candle to safely burn for at least an hour. Then extinguish and light it again as needed for fire safety (i.e. extinguish when you need to leave the candle unattended and relight when you return) until it’s burned all the way down.)

2. Heal an Existing Relationship

Of course, not all relationships are destined for greatness or perpetuity. This ritual takes this into account, while giving your existing relationship a dose of healing and harmony. This will either speed its dissolution or revive its strength, depending on what is best for everyone involved.

On a full moon, place a small photo of you and your beloved in a small Mason jar. Mix equal parts honey and aloe vera gel, and fill the jar with the mixture, completely immersing the photo. Close the lid of the jar and place a tea light on top. Light the tea light and say:

What we need to heal, let us heal. What we need to feel, let us feel. Whatever is best for [name of partner] and me, I summon this outcome, whatever it may be.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Blessed be. And so it is.

3. Magnify Your Attractiveness

Perhaps if you’re honest with yourself, you’re not really sure if you want to attract a relationship just yet. What you do know is you’d like to attract some romantic attention and ignite some flames (or even blazing infernos) of desire. Of course, you are naturally desirable, so you don’t need to override someone’s free will in order to do this. You can just bring out your own natural attractiveness.

Caution: be sure not to overuse this spell: doing it any more than once per moon cycle will dilute its effectiveness.

4. Release an Unhealthy Connection

It’s possible that you are in an obsessive, abusive, or codependent loop with a particular person and you think a love spell will be just the thing to set the relationship right. Sorry, but it won’t. This spell, on the other hand, will release the unhealthy aspects of the connection (known in metaphysical circles as “cords of attachment”) in order to help you move on and open up to a much healthier and more ideal romantic relationship. (In some cases it could be the same relationship – just a healthier version of it.)

Starting the day after a full moon, take one bath a day for seven days. In the warm water, dissolve 2 cups Epsom salt, 1 cup sea salt, and 1/4 cup baking soda. Before you get in the water, light a white candle and say:

Great Goddess, please purify me of all cords of fear and attachment to [name of person]. Thank you for healing me and setting me free.

Soak for at least 20 minutes each time.

5. Bring About The Best Possible Outcome

Whether your initial desire to perform a love spell was born from a crush, a relationship with a current partner, or a past relationship, this spell will help bring about the best possible outcome for you and everyone involved. By trusting the outcome to the Universe instead of assuming you know what’s best, you gain access to a larger perspective, and one that takes everything into account: past, present, future, as well as unforeseen potentials and possibilities.

God/Goddess/All That Is, I desire passionate and harmonious love. Please bring that love to me in the best possible way now. Thank you for establishing beautiful conditions in my love life, completely, perfectly, and in divine timing. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Blessed be. And so it is.

Comments

I was a target of a love spell and married the person – on my wedding day I actually sat there thinking “what am I doing, why doesn’t anyone stop me”.
Three years later I left and he admitted that he had “gotten me” through the help of a person known to prey on others using Magick.
a. It’s just not cool
b. You really don’t get the person to love you – I knew I didn’t love him, but found myself helpless and unhappy.
c. Where’s the sense of satisfaction, of achievement in being with someone knowing they’re truly not there of their own free will. Ultimately, neither of you will be happy.
d. We all deserve to be loved for who we are, and there is someone for everyone – patience!

My husband (then boyfriend) was subjected to black magic by a woman. He was given a potion first, later his clothes were used to attract him towards that another women. His mood swings were beyond understanding. He became abusive. Later with the help of someone we came to kbow about it and broke the spells. What confuses me is, he says that even if he hated me there was something that would not allow him to avoid or leave me. He used to tell me that he thinks someone has casted a spell on him but when i confront him he used to dismiss it. Since at that time i was not aware of their affair no such doubts arouse in my mind.
The moment he came to know that he was under a spell his behaviour towards me changed immediately. And the moment the spell was broken, he says he felt very relaxed and happy. But he caught a cold which the person (who helped break the spell) says is due to the outer element that was present in my husbands body left a void and caused him to catch a cold.
Will my husband be subjected to any side effects of the spell in the future??

Hi Tess. So I really do want an old lover back. The thing is he’s probably seeing this other lady. I don’t want to use any unnatural force on anyone. However I think he’s just sticking around this other lady for beneficial purposes. Is there a way that I can wish this lady a friendly spell in finding true romance and a real man? I just feel that maybe once she finds someone who can truly love her, he and I can resume “us”.. 🤔

Hi Mila! I suggest spell #5 from this post. I highly suggest focusing on YOU and what YOU want, rather than anyone else at all: old lover, lady, anyone. Except you. This will leave you open for the best possible outcome, which may or may not involve this specific person.

Hello. I have a question regarding spell #2 … I think it’s important that I get clarity on it. I want to perform the spell tomorrow on the full moon and i have no idea what to do with the jar after it’s all done. I dont want to do anything that will mess with the power of the spell like hold back to the old energy or get rid of the new one…Please help! Thank you 🙂

Oh, good question! I suggest keeping it on your altar or in a special place where it won’t be disturbed for the remainder of the moon cycle (until the next new moon). After that, if you feel it’s done its work, you can release the liquid contents to a moving body of water, throw out or bury the picture, and re-use the jar later. If you want to hang on to it for a little longer to keep the magic flowing, you can keep it on your altar or put it in a freezer until you’re ready to release it.

Hi I’m currently having issues with the guy I’m dating. He says he’s into me but i just don’t give him time to think or breathe when he’s upset and i jump to assumptions to much . So pretty much now he has this negative connotation with me that I’m not going to change that behavior although i genuinely want to because i believe he’s the one . I want to cast a karma friendly spell . Not because i think he doesn’t care but because of the negative connotation he’s too frustrated to notice the good out of this . Which spell should i choose

Hello! I fell deeply in love with this man and he left me because he no longer wanted the commitment and I really loved him and the breakup really made me depressed , what should I do to bring him back to me?

Hi Emily! It is not my sense that you will enjoy being with someone who isn’t equally as committed as you. To clear your energy field and open you up to a much better relationship, I suggest that you do this meditation daily for at least 7 days straight: https://tesswhitehurst.com/cord-cutting-meditation/

Hello I am at an impass with things in my life right now. My husband of 12 years (16 together) has left and has told me he wants a divorce. We are currentlyseparated. We have had several issues in our marriage but we still love each other, are attractedto each other and have feelings for each other. They may not be as they were 16 years ago but I really want to know that we are supposed to be divorced or work through our differences.
Which spell(s) would you recommend?

I am having a similar issue. We’ve been married for 14 years and we both brought toxic feelings into the relationship. It started out very rocky, until about 8 years ago, when things started getting better (he was able to get past some things I did and I felt like I paid my penance for my indescretions). Then, for whatever stupid reason, I sought out an ex boyfriend. This man was a kindred spirit (perhaps even a soul mate) but I knew we weren’t meant to be together in this life. My husband doesn’t believe in magick or kindred spirits or anything mystical, so I can’t really explain to my husband why i wanted to contact the him and all he can think is that I want to leave him to be with the ex. This got him feeling rejected and he started spending time with another woman, behind my back. When I found out about all his lying and the extent that he was involved with this girl (thoughts and feelings of romantic/sexual interest, confiding in her about our problems, knowing that there was a SHARED romantic interest), it broke my spirit completely. Fast forward to now, I am starting to gain my self-confidence back but he is suffering with feelings of guilt and self-hatred, along with feelings of resentment toward me. We both still love each other but we are both so damaged by the injuries we caused each other that we can’t get past our anger to find each other again.

Do you think any of these spells would be helpful or do I need something more powerful? Or do I need something completely different, altogether?

Just wanted to add that I think it’s amazing of you, to help others figure out these things! Blessed be!

2 and 5 both stand out to me. I worry that we’re just too far gone in our pain to be able to get past all the suffering we’ve inflicted on each other. I still love him very much and I know he still loves me, we are just still so wounded that we speak out of anger and pain rather than love and understanding. I just want to feel heard and understood and I want that for him too.

Hi again, Tess! I performed spell #2 during the last full moon and something unexpected happened… within couple of days his behavior changed completely. Like a different person, the one I knew months before he started doing cruel things. He stopped cheating on me… and is really loving. Everything came together for me once I looked into the girl he was seeing – and I realized that it’s very likely that he has been under a love spell for quite a while! Now that all makes sense. But tell me, Tess, is it possible that such a simple healing spell could break a love spell? It’s hard to believe!

Tess when I was younger an boyfriend of mine did a binding spell on me using his blood. I did not know this until recently and have in the past 7 years befriended this man again. My feelings for him have never changed. However he says he no longer feels that way about me. I have asked him to fix this so that I may move on. I have had a headache and an unsettled stomach since that day. I am just wondering if it could be a residual affect from the releasing of the spell.

1 or 3, but whichever you choose, do it with the intention to be open to the perfect romance, rather than one specific romance. (It’s OK if you have the girl you like in the back of your mind, but clearly be open to someone who may be even better for you.)

Donny, yes! That spell is appropriate. Go for it. Regarding my email, I’ve actually reached the point where personal email requests for help are too numerous for me to respond to. But if you’d like, please check out my sessions page to schedule a phone call with one of the magical practitioners I’ve personally trained.

Thank you so much for this! I have developed a pretty massive crush on a classmate of mine in graduate school in these first 2 weeks of classes starting. We have slept together a few times after some nights out with our friends and get along naturally, however we are still getting to know each other on a more personal, nonsexual nature. Although it is not like either of us to jump straight to sex, we have discussed how attracted we are to each other that it just felt natural/right. I am really hoping to get to know him more to further develop our recently-formed friendship so that it may progress to a relationship some day. What spell do you suggest to amplify the feelings/energies between us that are already naturally present? I don’t want to make him love me (although I am ready to be “Wifed” up hahaha), I just want to amplify what is already there between us, because there is something there. I just don’t know him really, or what his intentions/desires are with me. Thank you!!!!

Hi tess
my husband leaves me for a younger woman, i was so depressed i could hardly understand these things happened to our marriage. As of now its hard for me to let go. My life was devastated…i hope and pray so hard that things will fall into proper place like my husband getting back with me…
My qustion is can i use spell2,3 and 4 one at a time? I dont know I haven’t done spells before i dont even know if it will work for me.
Please email me if you have time
Thank you and Godbless.

Hi Tess,I have been in a relationship with this guy for about 3years.6 months ago,his behaviour changed and was not willing to talk about it at all.I later discovered there is another lady who got pregnant for him and he was confused about what to do.Last month I only discovered he moved in with this lady and he says he knows he made a mistake but he really loved me..I still love him and want to work things out regardless of the circumstance because I feel he is the one.
I am so depressed especially because his attitude has changed yet I love him so much.Do you think he is under a spell? What do you suggest I should do?

Anna, I suggest you let him go. If you love yourself truly and treat yourself like gold, you will see that his behavior is absolutely unacceptable. I am not sensing that he’s under a spell. I suggest that you do this meditation for at least 30 days straight: https://tesswhitehurst.com/cord-cutting-meditation/

Thank you!And can I just ask,I want first to try spell 2,but I can’t find mason jar,I have something similar at home,can I use the one I have?
And excuse me for the stupid question but when exactly is the full moon phase?
I do not want to make any mistakes.
Thank you in advance!

Thank you!
And I just want to ask you.I have made spell 2 today at 05.53 am,because I checked that for Europe(i am from Bulgaria) this is the time when the fool moon phase begins,but ofcourse at that time there was no moon showing up.Is this if a matter?
Have I done it wrong?
I am thinking about this now and get little worried,because I taught I have done it perfectly,but now I am wondering if it was the right way?

Hi Tess, I have done a love spell in the past and jeez did it reck my life!…I couldn’t break the bind…he managed to sever the connection by stopping all communication….then thankfully it ended…with gratitude, I have resisted doing another love spell and realized the best course of action was to leave the chance of love entering into my life to the Universe…its been years of working just on myself and getting to the point where I am o.k. alone but just on a whim on Sunday, I joined a dating site (after not doing any online dating for over 6 years) I am half British and miss England a lot…so went on a British dating site just for fun, to just banter online really (as realistically having a relationship blossom in such circumstances are slim) but…I did receive an email from a fellow whom I really feel something might be there…I value the written word and the banter and exchange was charged (in a good way) I am wondering if I don’t do a love spell but…what if I were to gaze at his visage optimistically and were to state something like “so be it” or even “Thank you” because regardless of whether he decides not to message me again on the site and nothing becomes of our exchange…I still felt such joy just to have the banter/connection for this time, its re-ignighted that flame inside me that has been dead for so long…gazing at his picture wouldn’t be spell casting would it? Regardless, I am going to do spell #1 and #5 – Secondly, is there a spell for “not giving a darn what others think of you?” – with all the self work I have done, my last hiccup is that I used to be wealthy but due to circumstances I have lost all my money and am pretty broke (but I’m happy) its just that I think this might be a barrier to finding love?…because many guys my age (58) state they want the woman to be “financial secure” and this guy has but I haven’t said anything yet about my circumstances…is there a spell for not caring about that? Thank you!

Hi Louise! I would not worry at all about gazing at his visage and saying “thank you.” That doesn’t feel like interfering with free will to me – does it to you? As for the spell about not caring about what others think, possibly one or all of the spells in this post would help? https://tesswhitehurst.com/5-spells-to-get-yourself-out-of-a-funk/

Hi Tess, Thank you so much for answering. Yes, it does feel as though the gazing will be safe and I won’t be putting a spell on him. It just feels good and puts me in a happy state of mind. Uplifting with detachment (but he hasn’t answered me for a few days) Thank Goodness I can just say to that – so be it – the universe has this in the works – at least he opened me up to the possibility of finding “the one”…and I will do the spells #1 #5!

Hello! I have been dating this guy for almost 3 years. We had/have a magnetic connection since the very first moment of us meeting. About a month later, he admitted that his ex (they were not together) lived in his home with him (because she had previously been evicted with their child) but was expected to soon move out. She moved 2 weeks later. Since then, she seems obsessed with he and I. Before her knowledge of me she was careless about him. She has called my phone many times, kept his child away, told me very hurtful things about him (his past) all in the effort to run me off. She has even tried to befriend me. He has never “left” me to go back to her but there has been times when he has slept with her. She couldn’t wait to tell me about it. When confronted with all three of us present he seems to be totally remorseful and he “sides” with me. He tells her they will never work and that I am his best friend and that he is in love with me. He has never downplayed our relationship to her the way that he has downplayed their relationship while the three of us are present. Their relationship has been a disaster (physically, mentally and emotionally abusive) per their words. We have never had as much as an in person argument let alone have been physically abusive to one another. I tried to leave against my wishes to avoid this drama but we can’t seem to stay away from one another. The butterflies never go away but it’s like we both have this “wall” up that won’t allow us to move forward. Something seems very unnatural about her (or this situation). I love him so much and I have never felt a connection like this before with anyone else. I know that he loves me the same. What should I do? Thank you in advance.

Your website is beautiful, thank you for sharing your wisdom so openly. I met my other half almost 3 years ago we fell in love very quickly and very deeply. But he has two daughters an ex wife and a mother who seem to have a weird relationship with him. They are all a bit too attached to him in a way that it just doesn’t feel right. Out of these 4 women only the youngest daughter likes me but only shows it when we are alone and the others are not present. I know often how we feel is a mirror of our broken selves but the energy i’m picking up from them is awful. Especially his oldest daughter and mother. A year and a half ago i got pregnant and had a miscarriage and gradually my relationship deteriorated but we made a promise on working on resolving our problems. Bit this past August at a trip with all everyone apart from his ex wife i got so out of sorts of myself and really lost my cool with my other half who had completely forgotten i was even there with him. He is very defensive of all of them their relationship dynamic and no matter what i try to say he thinks i’m crazy.
When the fall out took place and my relationship was looking like it would end his oldest starting hanging out with him a lot in a way that to me is off (almost as if she was celebrating her victory)

Help! i think they send some pretty bad vibes our way – i witness it in my boyfriend’s eyes it’s as if he goes in and out of a zombie state.

Any ideas what i can do so that both of us wake up and get out of this cobweb? that’s how it feels btw

i don’t mind them but i just want them to be play their roles and not antagonise the fact that i am in his life.

Hi,again!I have done spell 2,but didn’t work for me,I mean my husband did not get back to me,but I suppose the universe has decided that way to be.
I want to ask you is spell 4 appropriate ,will it work so that I set myself free from my feelings for him and dreams for the family?
And is there some spell I can do so that my business grow fast,because I really need it for me and my 3 year daughter.We need a home for us and I really need to find the right partners for my MLM business fast.
Thank you in advance!

Hi. Test!! I been dating my boyfriend for 5years 6months now our relationship been ready good till the past month I noticed he’s alway coming from work late going out of town weekends not calling when hes gone and also don’t reply to my text when hes gone and i really love my bf what spell should I used… depression is killing me

Hello Tess, I’ve been in a relationship for almost 3 years and everything has been great. He has mentioned about moving in with him, but he hasn’t set a particular date so now I’m worried that he’s second guessing. Which spell should I use so that we both can get direction, clarity and get the best outcome and growth for our relationship?

Hi Tess… I have been with my husband for 3 years and everything was ok at first and then he got locked up and I stayed by his side while he was in there for a little over 2 years. And he just got out a few days ago and he is acting funny now. He went back to his mom’s house to get everything taken care of over there and have it transfer to me but when he left he said I love you and I will be back… But now he is saying he doesn’t know what he wants. And a fees ago he told he we were never together and he doesn’t love me anymore. I think he is talking to his ex again. How can I get him back to me? Is there a # I could call to talk to someone?

Hi Jessica. This sounds heartbreaking. First of all, I recommend shifting your intention. Instead of getting him back to you, I suggest you set the intention to take care of yourself first and to bring about the outcome that is healthiest and best for you. That may or may not involve getting him back to you, as it may be healthier and more empowered for you to move on, especially if he is mistreating you. If you want to do a spell, I suggest the best possible outcome spell from this post. It will also really help you get perspective to get therapy. There’s an app called TalkSpace with professional psychologists who do phone sessions for affordable fees.

Hi Tess, and Happy Thanksgiving. I have a question about #2. I did it today around 6:30pm. But now that I’m reading about the full moon. It says that it’s going to be a full moon until tomorrow around 5am. Is it still going to work, or do I have to it again tomorrow? Thank you in advance.

I came across your site and have been reading through the post and comments. I think it’s really nice of you to take time to respond to everyone and so I’m hoping you would be able to help me too. Sorry in advance for the long comment!

I broke up with my ex two months ago. From the very beginning of our relationship we struggled. We tried making it work but eventually broke up a few months after dating. After a month apart we got back together. At the very beginning things seemed to be going fine but I started to feel a shift about a month into us dating again. But even before feeling that shift, I found out that my ex had been communicating with a former flame. Though there was nothing romantic about their texts, I was still very hurt bc it had been kept a secret from me. The behavior seemed shady to me though there was no actual cheating.

We broke up after having a huge argument. Though the wound is still fresh and I know time will help me heal, I really want to forget my ex as soon as possible. I obsess, stalk (my ex’s) social media accounts, and have done other things that I am not proud of. I know what I’m doing is unhealthy and I want to stop this behavior. There are a couple of spells/cleanses that I’m thinking of doing.

However, here’s where I really need your help, from the very beginning I was unsure of how I felt for my ex. I was never 100% happy and I felt like we would eventually break up. Now that we’re broken up I wish we could get back together but I know we won’t and I know it’s not what’s best for us. So why can’t I stop thinking about my ex and wishing we were back together? This has happened to me before in the past with another ex…where I was never fully into them but once it ended I couldn’t let go. It was almost like an obsession or a very strong infatuation. With the previous ex it lasted over 7 years! Is it possible that I’ve been hexed by someone? I don’t believe it was either one of my exes so idk who or why someone would want to put a hex on my love life. I’m also fairly young (i.e haven’t had much life experience) so I can’t imagine having done something harmful to someone in my past to deserve this.

I’ve met with tarot card readers hoping to get insight into my relationship with ex. Two different tarot card readers actually, I trust them both. This last reading I had I was told that his relationship was done for good, and that though this person will still be a part of my life for the next 2-3 months there is no chance of reconciliation. I’ve always believed that some people have this gift so I don’t knock it but I’m tired of spending money on tarot card readers and just want some inner peace. At the moment they feel like mini therapy sessions and make me feel I like having a better understanding of the truth but in reality they leave me feel drained and having more questions.

I want to find peace within myself, let go of my ex, move on with my life, feel happy again, and cleanse myself if anyone has done me any harm. Thank you in advance for reading 🙂

Spells take time, and if you did a spell to heal, there’s a very good chance emotional pain will be involved. Emotional pain is a part of life, and attempting to avoid it doesn’t ever serve us. Instead, it’s ideal to move through pain and surrender to the process so you can get to the other side. I’d give it at least a full moon cycle and see what happens.

Ok so Tess it was going fine thanks giving day he called to private to listen to my background the following day he called again twice cause I didn answer the first time Jus to say happy thanksgiving, never called back all up until Monday when i believe him and his new gf got into it he called my phone Nd it’s been very messy every sense I told him I don’t want to be in the mix between that Nd now she’s saying it’s me who’s callin and texting him 🤷🏾‍♀️ I jus want to make him leave me alone HELP PLEASE

I did this on this month’s full moon and very second day my ex-boyfriend came back to my life with full commitment. (Breaking up was my decision to think about myself what I really wanted in my life, then I realised I had very strong feelings towards him and wanted him back and I knew he was the same, and all of a sudden he become so active and I accepted him)

I am really happy but there are still some things that are bothering me. I still have our picture in the jar with the mixture and I am keeping it hidden not to be seen by anybody. Sometimes I feel I need something more, I want him to be more active than passive, should I repeat this ritual for next full moon? Would it help him to be more active? (Because I think it helped him the first time when he came back to me) If I can do it so how should I repeat it? I just wash away everything and use the same picture of us or a new one?

So my ex boy friend and love of my life (im 39 and divorced) were very happy together and didn’t have any problems We talked about moving in together with our children and getting married. He told me numerous times I was the one and he wanted to marry me and he was scared of losing me which I assured him wouldn’t happen. We were talking about the kind of wedding we wanted an everything was great. Our kids got along and we loved each other children as well. Out of no where he pulled back and texted, yes texted me he was not ready for a relationship. His ex wife I feel has something to do with it but I cant be sure. We still love each other and it hurts were not together. If I did a spell such as spell 5, and he came back because hes the one will it work out especially if someone did something to him to suddenly make him change his mind. His ex was not happy when she found out how serious we were and is rumored to have done something.

Dear Tess. I love my ex boyfriend. We broke up a week ago and he has blocked me everywhere. I really believe we can help each other grow and be happy together. Normally I try my utmost to speak to his family and him and convince him that we get back together. Would # 2 work in letting him unblock me and working on our relationship? Even though we are broken up, I truly believe we can make each other’s lives better

Hi Lolli. It will work to heal in the best possible way, but it will not affect the free will of your ex-boyfriend. Always hold the intention of manifesting what is best for everyone involved, whatever that may be.

Hi Tess
I’m going through a bit of a heartbreak but not really a heartbreak. I have a crush on this guy who I’ve been having sex with but he obviously doesn’t feel the same way. Every time I think about him I tend to break down like I’m doing now. I really want to go get over him ASAP only because we work together and I don’t want him to see me being the weak person that iam. I was hoping tell me which spell will be best for me to get over him???

Ramesh, both of those intentions involve affecting your girlfriend’s free will, which is not a good idea. Instead, I suggest releasing this relationship so you can be open to someone who genuinely loves you and honestly doesn’t care to cheat. Spell #4 will help you do that.

My current partner and I always have ups and downs in our relationship. I really want to fix this issue between us. I did spell #2 everything goes great after that. I still gave this mixture in the jar with a picture. I am curious can I repeat it again when its full moon? and how I am supposed to do it? Do not open the jar leave everything as it is and just say a spell or wash away current mixture and put fresh one with a new picture or the same picture?

Good Afternoon All,
I seek out an answer to a complex problem. I will attempt to keep this as short as possible. This summer my partner spiraled out of control suddenly and without warning. Things became terrible and we separated. While we were separated I was so angry and I wanted to find love and passion that I had been missing in my life. Yet, I didn’t do anything, I didn’t do any spell. I repressed it all.
Then one night while I was sleeping I had a dream. In my dream I made a plea to the Goddess Freya to bring me my lover, my true mate into my life. I woke up feeling the effects of a spell and I knew that I had repressed the desire so deep, that it burst out of me violently.
Then everywhere on Instagram and Pinterest I started seeing (for the first time) posts about Twin Flames. I ignored it (Obviously). Then I met someone, and he set my soul on fire! He had shaken my world up and there will always be a before and an after of him. However, we no longer talk, as the situation between us all is very confusing and complicated.
During the months him and I were talking. I got into a fight and cut off a toxic friendship with this girl I had known for 10 years. As soon as I did that, my spouse and I life and relationship improved almost overnight.

My relationship with my husband is back on track and things are looking up. I no longer talk to my twin flame and I know I shouldn’t, but I still miss him. I want to heal my marriage and move on, did someone (my former friend?) put a spell on my husband and can you really do a spell in your sleep? This is not the first time I have dreamt of Freya. What should I do to let go of my twin flame? He still wants me in his life, but he doesn’t think it’s healthy for me. So he cut it off, due to my mental health and now he is just done with me. This makes me very sad, yet I understand and respect him and his wishes.

Lots of questions! Any advice would be helpful.
Thank you all!! Blessed Be!

Rebecca, I’m glad your relationship with your husband is back on track since that’s what it sounds like you want. I am not sensing that anyone put a spell on your husband. You can certainly connect with Divine energies in your sleep and that’s what it sounds like you did. If you’re confused about any aspect of your relationship or former relationship, I suggest speaking with a therapist, alone or with your partner.

I performed the best possible outcome spill during the Winter Solstice full moon and almost every night since then, I’ve dreamed about my ex boyfriend. I don’t know how to fake this. He has several things to work on and I don’t see us being together any time soon. Should I do the spell again? What could these dress ams mean? I am not communicating with him because it’s to heartbreaking.

Hi Tess! I’m in love with someone who i’m not sure loves me the same way. we tell each other that we love each other, and i’ve been monogamous with him for the better part of a year, but he still wants to be intimate with other people and doesn’t want a serious/defined relationship. he’s my best friend and i love him unconditionally, but it’s breaking my heart a bit to know he probably just doesn’t reciprocate my intense feelings. or maybe it’s simply that we’re young (21) and he doesnt want to feel tied down. but i don’t want to tie him down, i want to love him and lift him up! what do you suggest?

Zoie, I admire your unconditional love. It does sound like his decisions about being intimate with other people don’t feel right to you. I suggest loving yourself enough to set boundaries. If he respects them, that’s great, and if he doesn’t, that’s fine too, but I don’t suggest staying with him if it isn’t the type of relationship you’re looking for. You might check out the spell suggestions at the bottom of this post to see if something resonates with you.

I was happily involved with a gentleman for six months. We had what I thought was an amazing connection. We would sit and talk about our days, relax and were vulnerable with one another about our past relationships. Then he broke it off to go back to an unhealthy relationship. When he broke up with me ~ he was crying and I could tell it was hard on him. I told him “I would miss him and I will always care about him, and I was grateful for the time we had together. I wished him all the best.” He said Thank you. I was wondering if completing spell number five would help all of us ~ me, him and her heal? I know this may seem odd, but I want the best for all parties involved. Everyone to be healed and happy, not just me.

I did spell number five on the New Moon. Since then, I have noticed a lot of articles about strong independent women and how to love them; how to love a woman whose been to hell and back and no less than ten articles on how to heal. I was wondering if Inshould take these signs as a sign that he and I will never be together again? We haven’t spoken since the breakup although mutual friends tell me that he is miserable. How long does spell number five take and should I repeat it during the next full moon. It seems as though my feelings have increased for him instead of fading away for the best possible outcome for all of us. The thought of facing him makes me physically ill.

Healing and being strong/independent can only help any relationship you may enter into in the future, whether it’s with this person or with someone else. I’d focus on following the guidance you’re receiving about healing and being independent. Take excellent care of yourself and have compassion for yourself. No need to repeat the spell. Instead, let go of attachment to outcome and see what unfolds.

Hi Tess, I am a bit desperate. Not at all an obsessed desperation though. My partner and I try to stay together yet the moment we get back together the snowball effect takes place. He found ashes in a container under his pillow that was planted there by we suspect his ex wife. How can we “fix” this what seems to be a spell for him not to be happy with me? We are tired of arguing because we cant seem to get it together. We even tried blessing the house and the person told him there is someone who is preventing him from being happy with me. We have a child together and he misses his daddy but we cant be with him because of the fighting all the time. Can you help me with this please?

Hi Tess my husband of 21 years left December 5 2018. I have been very depressed since. We haven’t spoken since and he’s ignoring my text. We slowly grew apart mostly because I started pushing him away. Now that he’s gone I miss him so much and want him to return. I cry every day, not hungry and don’t have the energy to do anything. I read your post yesterday and decided to do the Mason jar spell. I now realized the full moon is not until I believe the 20th. Do I have to do it again on the 20th ? If so can I use the same jar and picture or do I have to start over. Or will it still work since yesterday was the start of a new moon. Please respond I’m falling apart and need some guidance. Thank you

Thank you so much Tess. I want to believe with all my heart that this will work , but I dont know what to do , and how much time is enough time to wait to see if it does work. If there is anything else I can try. Have a blessed day. And thank you because if anything after doing the spell I felt a sense of relief.

Yess I Tried #2 back in November and it’s was going perfectly fine for a while I thought we goin our separate ways , but lately I’ve been finding myself over thinking about him , I don’t want to miss or have feelings for someone who don’t feel the same

Hi Tess! I am just recently out of a relationship with a guy I fell hard for. I looked him in the eyes and could see exactly what would happen with us but I didn’t know why or how at first. We both supposedly loved one another but one day he just up and left. He wouldn’t open up to me about it. He admitted that he was afraid and not ready like he thought. But just recently I see he’s started seeing this other woman. I don’t think he loves her, I feel he’s just needy. I was told that he’s under a love spell but he actually wants to be with me but my bad energy has kept him away. What should I do?

Hey Tess! I need some help with something. I was in a happy relationship for just over a year, but he broke up with me a few months ago because he said that his heart wasn’t in it and that things had changed since he moved to college. I still can’t get over him because this is the first time I’ve ever felt so strongly for a person. Which spell(s) should I do? This is my first time trying anything like this, so as much advice as you can give would help tremendously.

Hey Tess,
Me and my ex broke up in Dec 2k18, due to an unfortunate bad incident.
We wanted eachother back but things got too ugly. Nevertheless i really want to get him back in my life, since he is denying to see through it and making things unrepairable, i want him to feel the love for me again, which he is trying to overcome, what spell can i use to make him look through me and us?

Sasha, it’s important that your intention is not to make him do anything (because I’m sure you would want him to choose to be with you on his own). When done with the intention for the best possible outcome for everyone concerned, spell #2 from this post would be a good idea for you.

I have found a white magic love spell recently. I’m thinking about using it. The focus of the spell is not to force the person to love you, but that if they do have any sort of feelings towards you, it’ll make them somewhat stronger. There is no apprehension of free will, and it’s perfectly breakable simply by deciding they do not wanting to be with me. Is this okay?

Thank you! Also, for #5 I could not find my rose quartz necklace so instead I blessed my rose quartz crystal and I wear it inside my bra. Does that work or do I need to do it over next new moon with a bracelet/necklace?

i would like to do the number 2 and number 5 spell. when you say full moon or new…is there a specific time to do the spell as new moon is on feb 4 and full moon is on 19 and i really really want to do these spells.
thank you for your response

Ok so Me and my ex were in a long distance relationship for a bit after living together for a year. it was a huge change and hard on both of us, then in August because of the retrograde it got even harder because i started acting weird, like accusing him of stuff and not trusting him and he wasn’t giving me enough attention. come September we break up. and even though at the time i wanted to break up too for some reason i took it alot harder and its been like 5 months and i’m still not over him. i want him back, but he has a new girlfriend now. whats really strange is that ideally he’s not even the guy i want to be with. he doesn’t have any of the traits i look for in a partner and more over he was abusive and i wanted out a long time ago. Im starting to suspect that either his new gf has put some type of spell on me or someones done something, because i wanna be over this guy but i cant. what do you think and what would you suggest?

I performed the number five spell last month. I wanted the best outcome for all. He has recently Star to talk and text me again. He is still living with her and has not mentioned anything about ending their marriage. I am wondering if he is scared to leave because he has been manipulated for such a long time that real happiness is difficult for him? I do love him and would like to give our relationship another chance ~ I just don’t want to be hurt again. This was my first relationship after being widowed for 9 years. Any advice you give would be greatly appreciated.

Ahviya, if he is not leaving his partner, I would definitely stop talking to him and let the relationship go. If at some point he is available and you are still available too, you can revisit the situation. But for now, this is not a healthy situation for you. Here is a cord-cutting meditation to help: https://tesswhitehurst.com/cord-cutting-meditation/

Thank you Tess. I am very grateful for your guidance. I practiced the cord cutting meditation this morning. I feel if I perform this daily for a week it will help in other areas that I need to release also.
Again, Thank you ~ Blessed Be.

Hello Tess!
I have a huge crush on a young Lady at my job. She’s the only 1 who’s ever given me butterflies the second I see her. I’m not my normal laid back self around her. I freeze & don’t know what to say, I get very anxious & nervous.
I can’t say I’ve ever really felt this way around someone.
We talked, I expressed how I felt (not in so many words), & I even got her number, but about 3 days after that she told me she barely has time for a relationship due to work, which I understood. But now that she has a better schedule that leaves her way more free time, I’m getting the same results. Lackluster responses over text, seemingly a lack of interest.
After all the flirting & chemistry idk what to do with that.
Is there anything u would recommend to help make me the luckiest guy in the world?

Hi Eric! I suggest channeling your excitement about this potential romance into manifesting a romance that is more two-sided. This one doesn’t sound ideal, since I’m sure you wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t authentically reciprocate your feelings. While it’s not impossible that there is a spark of potential in this one, if you can focus on the feeling you want to have in a relationship rather than any specific person, your results will be best. So check out the options in this post, and you can also search “love spell” on my site to see if there’s another spell that resonates with you.

Hey Tess!
I know the instructions are very clear but I just wanted to make sure…I used spell #3 but I performed it only with almond oil coz I couldn’t find ylang ylang or sandalwood oil. I also performed it at day and not a moon night. And then took a shower right after. But I did say the words perfectly and followed the other instructions properly too.
Do u think the spell is most likely not to work?
And I also wanted to know on how long would it last and I wouldn’t want anyone to get obsessed with me.

Hi Tess,
Thanks for these suggestions. I fell for a man with whom I had been friends for some time before. We began a romantic relationship that ended abruptly when he expressed his fear of truly committing to me, for fear of hurting me. We have attempted to go back to being dear, close friends, however our romantic and artistic connection is palpable, and we have occasionally fallen into one another again, which is alternately wonderful and painful for both of us. I sought the advice of a tarot reader who, without more information than our names, confirmed my intuition that there existed great love between us and that a romantic relationship would be for both of our greater good, but also that something was blocking him energetically, causing him to feel the urge to run (my sense is a particular romantic trauma that he was forced to revisit just before our romance ended). It seems to me that several of these spells may be relevant to our situation, but would you reccomend one over another? Is it advisable to perform multiple spells? Thanks for your insight!

Tessa i really want cody ray slaughter this elvis Presley impersonator to start getting to know me better i met him after his concert on January 26th i recently stopped a instagram account and found his girlfriend by accident on Instagram she wasn’t happy that i like cody but to me she’s too young and too good looking for him im crying my self to sleep because I want to be with him

I did #5 on the last new moon, and I’m not sure if it’s working but this last week my ex & I have connected way better and we even hooked up and talk daily. Compared to hating each other and fighting like cats and dogs this was a big improvement.

Hi tess
Myself and my ex broke up a year ago after 17 years together. I want her back in my life again to be a family again and be happy. I want her freely to come back to me and I want her to be happy again. I am not sure what number I might be able to use to help and do not want to influence her free will but for her to have good feelings for me again. For any help or insight I would be most greatful

Hello Tess
I did #2 spell yesterday but it was cloudy so half of the time couldn’t see the moon. Should i do it again today? And i know it’s a silly question but should the spell be done outdoors in the open( which i did yesterday) or could be done inside the home as well.

Hi Tess,
Thank you so much for sharing this with us.
I am in a very strange situation, so sorry in advance for this long message!
I was having sex with a man for a few months who I shouldn’t have been – we are the same age, but I’m at university and he works here, so it is against his contract. I completely fell in love with him. However, rumours started and now other people are involved, despite not actually knowing the truth. He ended it with me over fear of his job. We are still talking, though nothing physical is going on. I love him, and i believe in love over anything else. I know his job is important, but if we are meant to be together, i want to know if we can make this work. As a side note, i am a lesbian, and would not normally go for men – the basis of our attraction is entirely chemistry and a mental compatibility. For some reason, this still feels right to me.
Thanks in advance x

Danielle, it sounds like you’re on the right track. Follow your intuition and respect his boundaries and see what unfolds. I’m not sensing that it’s the right time for you to do any magic around this. Maybe wait a bit.

Hi Tess, recently things ended with this girl that I’m involved with, it was a Long Distance Relationship, she has depression and ended our relationship because she thinks she is not in a position to be in a relationship right now and subsequently block me in all forms of communication. I wanted to do spell #5 just so that the Universe will decide and do what is best for you. if this breakup is for the best and let it benefit us. All I wanted is for her to be happy. So my question is, does it have to be a rose quartz? I have a piece of quartz that I’m sure is a citrine quartz based on it’s yellowish clear color and would that work?

I was going to get married this year to my fiance however all of a sudden he changed sort of overnight and emotionally cheated on me with his colleague. This was a total 180 degrees shift and the man himself wondered what happened. He said up till then he had no doubt in his mind that he wanted to marry me and that he loved me. Now the woman has dumped him and went back to her girlfriend(yes she’s bi) leaving my man in a very confused state. He’s totally different from the man I knew and loved for the past 7 years. And even though he still loves me and cares for me it’s like he’s stuck in some sort of rut. Did she cast a love spell on him? If so will spell #2 work in healing him? We’re still seeing each other and trying to make it work but we’re kind of at the edge of things.

Tess
I really love this guy. He has blocked me everywhere. I did spell#2 , now he has unblocked me but doesn’t talk much( as he used to before.)
Can i do spell#1 and could it be any Friday between new moon and full moon.

Hi
I really like these ( and the others on your website) little spells/rituals and would like to try some but I am wondering- before you do any of these do you have to cast a protection circle?
I did watch your video about daily protection from negative energies but I am wondering if you have to do anything specific before you cast your spell to protect you ..?

Many thanks for the swift response and the link to cast a circle- seems very thorough and I will try it and keep on practicing it.
I have also been looking at spell No3 . Is there A particular time to do this ( such as new moon or between the new moon or the full moon? Daylight or moonlight..?)
Many thanks

Tess
I really love this guy. He has blocked me everywhere. I did spell#2 , now he has unblocked me but doesn’t talk much( as he used to before.)
Can i do spell#1 and could it be any Friday between new moon and full moon

Dear,
Thank you! Your post is the answer that I have been looking for.
3 months after a breaking up over half of a year ago, I reached out to my ex after the silence between us. He said he missed me and he (we both) implied the possibility to look into coming back together. He also said he will come see me. Since then, he hasn’t come see me and the signals that I get from him seems confusing to me (sometimes good, sometimes seems distant). I understand that after a break up, people need time to re-evaluate their feelings. I still love him and want to give us a chance, though feel confused anxious about his side. Therefore, I might have acted anxious/negative that may stress him out.
I wonder what type of spell that I can use so that I can boost our mutual feelings/ his feelings for me. (Does spell #2 works? Or #5 and can I use other stones?)
And what spell can help me work on myself so that I can be calm and generate positive energy to attract him?
Thank you!

Hi Jass! I recommend spell #2. To be calm and generate positive energy to attract your most ideal romantic conditions, I recommend meditating daily. You can use any of the guided meditations on this site (use the search feature at right to find them) or any other guided meditation, meditation app, or meditation technique that you like. As long as you do some form of meditation once per day.

Hi Tess,
In February’s full moon I attempted #2, things were up and down the entire month (which you did mention in a comment it could take a full cycle)
Tonight is March’s full moon and I just got a call in the middle of the night by my ex (father of my children) expressing how much he misses me and being a family. After an exact cycle, of us being good & bad!! I’m in shock…he wants US to heal.

Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge in magic. Thank you for sharing magical ways to help us with the troubles life presents to us. I’ve recently been through a betrayal. I was dating a guy who showed in all ways he was into me emotionally, physically and even led me to believe he loved me. I found out he had a girlfriend all along. I want to heal from the pain he has caused and I don’t want to feel any type of anger or resentment towards him. What do you recommend? I don’t want to hate the guy, and how I feel right now it makes it really difficult not to hate him. Please help me.

Hello..I have been dating a guy for 10year…We really love each other a lot.but his parent are not ready for us to get married. And are forcing him to get married to another girl. He said he will do as his parents.i really want him back at any cost .What should do ? For spell2 it’s still 3 weeks more..What is till then his parents manipulate him

Hi Tess,
So im not really positive on what im suppose to do. Long story short i had a man eho fought for me for 9 months, we became best friends and inseperable. But i pushed him away constantly because i was so scared to be hurt and didnt let my wall down (ive had a very bad past before him). I pushed too much last week but at the same time didnt want it… i realised when it was too late that i wanted to be with him because i finally found a way to break down my wall and heal after my rose quartz. However, now he feels so numb in life and doesnt know how he feels about anything. He’s been chatting to someone else and she has a crush on him just over messages (i know this because she wrote to me), but then at times as much as i know i probably have no chance, theres moments where i have him back again (told me he loved me back, being intimate, messaging alot etc). He’s lost as a person because his a sensitive soul and words have hurt him. He said after 9 months ive completely changed my mind so its shocked him and now that he can have me he doesnt want to go into anything when his not 100% sure about himself, he wants to heal. It kills, i dont know what to do. His the most genuine man and for 9 months he never once abandoned me… now i feel his almost gone. Is there a safe spell that could heal him and bring back his love for me. This man is perfect for my kids and i.

Hi Tiana! I suggest spell #2 or 5 from this post. Of course, when you respect the free will of others, you can’t make them come back to you. But setting the intention for the highest good of all concerned is always the best option anyway. That way, if it is best for everyone, it will happen.

Hey There,
I have question me and my girlfriend sometimes get into misunderstanding. Me and her broke up like 3 weeks. We been together for 2 years and really loved each other! Now she saying I don’t want anything to do with you but inside my heart it tells me that she still loves even though she saying this! I asked few Astrologers They all saying she does! She having ego and been really stubborn. So to conclusion When I asked for second chance she said you never get a second change with me. Which spell can I use ? I just want her back if she honestly love me from her heart and fix things. I don’t want to mess up anyone’s life. But from my heart it feels like she’s being getting pressured by someone else

There is this guy that when I first saw him I knew he was the one, I just felt it. At first all of the signs and coincidences happnened. So took my shot but he seemed intrested in other things. So I’ve been patient and waited and nothing has happened yet. What should I do?

Hi Tess , I was looking online for a love spell but I came across your blog and I feel like you are right , so I won’t do it . But I did wanted to ask you , if there was anything I could do with my current situation. I was INN LOOOVEEEEE with this guy who cheating on me but apparently he did like me and was thinking about making me his girl (he’s never had a girlfriend before ) . Though him and I were never in a relationship , we never had the status. So I tried rushing into a relationship with him and he slept with a girl . Then in revenge I dated his best friend for a year and almost 4 months . We had nothing in common so much fights and I think now the guy I was in love with hates me . But he kept staying in touch with his “BFF” . And he would always lie that I was trying to see him again so brought a lot of problems with me and his BFF . To the point the relationship got abusive . But it was my fault because in the back of my mind He was always there . Now we have broken up and I am trying to heal and find myself again . I get anxiety over people I get anxiety when going out I feel so insecure and I can’t stop thinking about Him (the guy I was initially in love with ) . Do you recommend anything i can do? I do not want to force anything. But why is he still in my head in my heart is there any way I can get him out ? . I wish I could talk to him I miss him so much he was such a great friend and the only guy that made me feel this way . But I was so mad at him sleeping with other girls . Why would he be inventing stuff to get me to brake up with his BFF ? . I want a resolution u know . I would really appreciate it a lot .

For the cord-cutting bath spell, do you have to use a fresh candle each time? Or can you use the same one for the 7 subsequent baths? Is there any special way to put it out?

Also, was doing the rose quartz bracelet spell since yesterday, and have felt very sick and negative since then (I have been having chronic neck pain again since my breakup – meditating has helped some though) – will this affect the spell? I do want what’s best for us both.

Hi,
Thank you for this post. We are just past the new moon and 11 days until the full moon. I am currently separated from my ex, but we live together. We are stuck in a loop for 3 years, where are good and then he becomes depressed and breaks up with me – stating he loves me but can’t be with me because he is unhappy. He thinks we cannot break this loop. Even if not, we have currently gotten stuck in a rut each personally and I plan to do spell 2 to heal what we do have and one another independently.
However, I would like to do something between now and the full moon.

Thank you, Tess, I will find a time when that is possible- he will have to be gone.
Would it be possible to do #2 and #4? We both do love each other but because of negative energy and negative blocks creating a healthy relationship and communicating has been what keeps us from being able to stay happy together. Would #4 help release some of our unhealthy relationship in conjunction with the healing spell?

I did a love spell on someone without knowing the consequences. Well now he’s with someone and I’m terribly in love with him and heartbroken. How can I undo the spell effect and move one with my life. Please help

I was with this guy for about 3 years. We broke up back in March and 1 weeks later we got back together. I did spell #2 back in April a day after the full moon to help us, and i felt like it worked.

This past weekend he again broke up with me. I’m not sure if I should try spell #2 again or this time do #5. I really do love him and we’ve been through a lot together and during his difficult times I never left his side.

Thank you! If I choose to do #2 (as I do think some healing needs to take place), can I do #4 next month? And I guess I should clarify – doing number 4 doesn’t mean you’re cutting the person out of your life, correct? Just removing the negativity?

Hi Chans! No, I wouldn’t recommend that. Instead of seeing her as lonely, I suggest seeing her as whole and complete. Send her positive energy and unconditional approval and expect her to unfold in the perfect way, at the perfect pace (which may or may not look like you expect). This will support her best.

Hi Tess,
I am practically in love with this amazing guy. He knows how to brighten up my worst days and make me laugh. Supposedly, he was going to ask me out, as he shared the connection too, but something happened.
And now, he isn’t so sure of himself, confused really, thinking he likes this other girl. Who I happen to believe is my best friend, and she, apparently, enjoys his presence too, I guess. I love my best friend and all, but she doesn’t do commitment very well, as known from prior relationships of hers. After awhile, she grows tedious of the relationship, and ends it.
I care so much about him, and it pains me that no matter how much you love somebody, maybe it’s not enough.
What spell do you suggest for me?

Sure, you can use olive oil or jojoba oil instead. Do you have access to Amazon? I’ve linked the text to Amazon pages where you can purchase the oils. They are also common essential oils available most places essential oils are sold. (Such as health food stores and metaphysical book stores.)

Tess, at the last full moon I did number 2 on my ex of 2 years after we had broken up for 2 months. Sure enough I felt better and more like myself, and he asked to get back together. After only 5 days, I can already tell that he and I are both slipping into the same patterns that caused our breakup. I tried a house cleansing with sage and was interrupted half through. Can you suggest a spell or ritual I could do to help us grow instead of repeating the negative patterns? Thank you for everything your site and your suggestions have already brought into my life 🙂

There has been an issue bothering me and I don’t know if there is a spell for stopping the problem altogether as I did multiple individual spells on these targets. I keep attracting guys that are not my types at all physically or mentally and had several unwanted admirers through the past 5 years., some to the point of stalking me. People try to set me up with guys like that and being the softie that I am, I either try to tell them indirectly there is no future between us or cast one white magick spell for each guy to gently push him away and make him take the hint and find love somewhere else. There is a young female caster that does these spells for individual cases on my behalf.

I have even ordered a spell to bring my soulmate or someone compatible in my life and it still hadn’t work. I know exactly what I want and I do take opportunities to meet with somebody but I still come across guys that I am not attracted to and I don’t think we are compatible. It’s like the Universe is pranking me…and I have given many guys the chance to make me feel “something” but that never happened.

My question is: Is there any general spell to stop unwanted admirers and meetings with incompatible guys?
How can I attract my true soulmate without any other unwanted male attention? Thanks…

Marina, have you tried therapy? It sounds like you might have some underlying fears about relationships and maybe some boundary challenges (perhaps leftover from childhood traumas) that have been preventing you from finding the love you desire.

So I’m in a bit of a spot. I’ve met a woman that has very quickly come to mean the world to me. She’s been in and out of one relationship since I’ve known her, and it’s been said, although not directly, if she hadn’t met the guy she recently broke up with she’d have liked to have given me a chance. She’s also one of my roommates. Now, I want to pursue her but I don’t know if it’s too soon, as I’m pretty sure she’s still in love with her ex that came before the string of guys she’s dated recently and I don’t want to ruin our friendship if I end up just being another in the line. I want to live my life for her, as crazy as that sounds. I haven’t tried any spells yet, but I want to help her free herself from the self destructive cycle she’s fallen into. The only thing is I don’t know if she’d let me if I asked. I know I’m risking a lot by even considering using magick on her without her knowing consent, even if it is good intentioned. But what else can I do?

hi lovely
i put 3 weeks ago in during a full moon urine love spell jar and plus menstrual blood jar spell to a person who i loved , after a week we get close and slept with each other which it was amazing and he was really into me. the next following week we stayed is contact and we meet each other again after 6 days but this time he seems that he is avoiding to show his feeling for me and we fight and he told me that he dos not want to see me again . i wonder that my spell is goring wrong or is still working for me? however i did cleaning candle spell and love candle spell after that even i dressed a candle with my menstrual blood and all the signs shows that spell is doing well , such a strong (very strong) flame burning and clean burn , so still i didn`t see any signs that he wants to back to me or love spell is working? do i need to do jar spell again? or you think it was a backfire on my spell? how should i know? do i need to broke them and do it again? even that candle love spell shows everything is allright ?

Dear Tess,
do you think I’d be okay for me to do the heal a relationship spell not on me and a partner, but on my parents? My mum and dad have really gotten quite bitter over the years and are rarely affectionate toward one another. My mother even told me that she does not like being intimate with my father anymore and it’s frustrating for her, and I believe for him as well. Do you think me casting the spell in their names would be okay?

Emi, I’m sensing that you’d be better off not doing a spell for this purpose. You can certainly send them positive energy and wish them well, but I think letting go and allowing them to have their own process with this challenge will best support everyone involved.

Months ago i spoke to you.. i told you of a time i was so in love with my now husband.. i used magic to get him back when he left me and i was pregnant with our kid.
He came back when his girlfriend left him. It wasn’t the best start and we didn’t have the best relationship but we stayed together for about decade.
I felt neglected through the years, it wasn’t ll bad but i never did anything for myself just was a stay at home mom.
It finally built up and i lost so much weight, got a job and was proud of myself.
However my husband didn’t like it. He didn’t want me to go out just like for all those years and it seemed like he was holding me back.
I met someone that gave me attention and made me feel attractive and i felt was nice.
I cheated. I confessed to my husband. I said i was sorry and we said we’d start over. However it was nothing but fighting, nothing but more control. Monitoring my every move. With cameras and recordings. He started to sexually abuse and coerce me into doing things. I said no so many times but he wouldn’t listen. He wanted what he wanted and didn’t care how i felt. I did all of it. I let him do it. I felt i deserved to be punished for everything I’ve done.
I finally couldn’t take it anymore and didn’t want my kids to suffer the yelling and abuse and see my misery.
I finally moved out. Even after all his cry’s and threats.
I felt i knew it all i was ready to move on. I could do it all myself. I even reached out to someone and removed the spell and healed him.
It took awhile but i think he’s healing. However, I’m not. I came to a conclusion a few days ago how much i still love him.
I even got healed and i was told there will be a very strong detox and it’s here and it hurts so bad. I sat for hours yesterday crying in a park.. hours. Alone.
I reached out to my husband finally after not talking for so long. And i confessed how much i still love and care. It only been weeks since he still seemed to have feelings.
Now it’s like he’s too busy for me even though we met up to talk. I told him how much i still loved him and that we were together for so long and that we haven’t tried everything.
Even though so many people got involved and want me to leave and some on his side because they don’t know or care about the abuse just that I’m some heartless cheater, i still want to find some way to work it out. I can’t believe it myself. Even though i know i needed the healing and i still am, i still love him and forgive him for all the abuse. But now he doesn’t seem to want to forgive me. He wanted me back so bad and now it seems he’s too busy to care.
I don’t know what to do. I’m trying to make it right but not lose him at the same time.
You sent me to sin from crescent conjuring months ago and he did a tarot reading and said i still loved him and what’s that about when i thought for sure i was done and ready to move on. Somewhere in my subconscious it must have been because this came from no where.
Even though it’s been rough, and i know people say i deserve better, i feel like an awful person.
I don’t want to believe it was all a lie just because of the spell that none of the love from his side wasn’t true.
I miss my friend, my partner my lover, my husband…
I don’t know what to do.. i want to find some way to mend our bond and see if the love is real. I don’t want to lose him, it’s so painful..
I can’t believe I’m in this place of such sorrow once again. If there’s anything you can give me advice or what to do i would appreciate it. I’m trying to save my family.

5, 4 and 2 really do.. It’s just so sad i have no control over the outcome.. I love him i just know it’s wrong to force someone.. which is why i got the healing done for him and removed everything…I was just hoping that this wasn’t a spell.. that it was real love.. now that i see he’s fading him afraid to lose him forever… i forgiven everything he’s done and it was a lot… that’s why i ran away.. even though he was trying and showing me love he was still abusing at the same time.. i couldn’t handle it.. it took me a while to find a moment to forgive but now it seems he doesn’t care.. that’s he’s too far gone being busy and enjoying himself while i am the only one supporting and being with the children… It hurts so bad.. i don’t know what to do.. i pray for forgiveness so much..

Hi Tess,
I did spell #2 on the full moon day. I’m so excited about it and I can’t wait to share the outcome with you. Is there anything else I need to do while I wait? This is my first time and my first experience ever. Your blog has been so helpful. Thank you

Hi Tess, I have this ex girlfriend whom I still love so much. She dumped me after I have told her father that I really love her, she was so angry with me asking me why I did that without her concern, and she also told that her father said she should not see me again because I am too old for her. I asked for forgiveness, she said she forgave me for what I did but she can’t be back with! I pleated with because I live her, but she refused to come back. She didn’t block me on WhatsApp, but if I don’t initiate a contact, she doesn’t say anything. When I initiate a contact, she replies but wit short answers that hive no hope at all. I still love her a lot, and the problem is, all the materials used for these spells aren’t available in my country Lesotho. What should I do?

Hi Tess,
I fell for a guy years ago, he used to be attracted to me, some say he still is. But with lies that have been told about me he no longer speaks to me. I’ve tried.
I’ve dreamed about him since before I met him, I still do.
Some times I feel he hates me, other times not so much
Last year he told a friend he found me irresistible but still won’t talk to me. Very confused…
I’m going to see him at the same event on Sept 28, which is a full moon. Is there anything that I can do to make him see me in a Better light and want to talk to me?

Hi, I would like to know what spell needs to be done for my girlfriend and I. We’ve been together for almost 5 years and it has been amazingly pleasant beyond measures. She’s my everything but lately there’s no emotional or physical connection. We barely have good times anymore and she’s been paying more attention to her best friend of whom I’m not too fond of. They talk all day and night. It has me feeling like there’s something going on. I’ve asked her millions of times and she’s assured me verbally the young lady is like her little sister.! I don’t know what to do because I love her so much and I know she loves me but I don’t want to be controlling. What kind of spell should I cast to bring us back strong and for her to get rid of her friend to focus more on us?

Hi Shanta’e. It’s important to perform magic for the best possible outcome, and to release attachment to controlling the choices of others. Because I assume you’d like to heal your relationship, but not by overriding your girlfriend’s free will. So do either the healing spell or the best possible outcome spell, while setting the intention for bringing about what’s truly best for everyone, no matter what that might be. Here’s another post you may find helpful: https://tesswhitehurst.com/why-you-should-not-do-a-love-spell-on-a-specific-person/

Hi Tess, among all the other comments i scanned across i kinda feel bad but i dont know what to do. i am at my peak an im just not ready to give up. there is something that is just holding me down and im not ready to call it quits with my relationship.. i was going through the numbers up top an i feel #2 woudl best help with my situation. i was curious if there is any other suggestions you may have, possibly a little advice? for some reason i cant seem to easy my mind enough to focus on the spell in order for it to work. my mind seems to raise rapidly and i loose focus or it just seems im doing something wrong. id really like to be directed into the right location in order to get a positive result..
hope this makes sense..

My boyfriend and I have been together for 14 months I really love him and I know he feels the same way. I spoke with 2 spiritual people who told me that he was is under a love spell by another woman. We spoke about it and have our suspicion as to who did it. The girl we suspect whenever she is around him he becomes an idiot to her. It is affecting our relationship and I would be sincerely thankful if you could suggest something to break this spell. Thanks in advance.

Hi, so Friday I ran into an old friend. Him and I are extremely attracted to each other. We go years without seeing each other but as soon as we do the energy btwn the two of us is palpable. So much so that we stumble over words just to speak to each other. Our attraction to each other is already there. But circumstances and timing always seem to be in the way. I usually say it’s just not meant to be. But the last time I seen him I can’t explain… it was stronger then ever. we would be looking for each other across the room but never make our way over to each other. Or trip over our words when we speak and end up just not speaking. The pull (for lack of a better term) btwn us was so strong my stomach was doing flips I almost got sick. AnywAy I was wondering which one of these you would recommend to help clear our path to each other? to maybe have a chance to see what’s there. Instead of dodging the attraction or stumbling over it. bc it’s like theres a wall up and even though we are so drawn to each other we are to scared to climb over the wall to actually be with each other.

Good question! Maybe do Spell #5, leaving the details (including the other person) up to the Universe. It’s OK if he’s in the back of your mind, though. But still open up to any possibility, as long as it’s what’s best for you.

My fiance decided to marry someone else after him and I have been together for 3 years. I live in a different state from him and he need to be married before going to his Immigration appointment to be determined if he stays or go back to his country. So because I live in a different state, his pastor stated to him to marry someone in the church. So they will be getting married 10-27-19 and he don’t even know her. What can I use to stop a wedding for 10-27-19?? Time is running out and I live in a different state..

Lyn, if he is deciding to marry her on his own free will, I do not suggest getting involved magically. Certainly, you can discuss this with him, but I don’t recommend using magic to override his free will. Ultimately, it will not be helpful for your relationship.

Hi Tess, he was force and persuaded by his pastors. He told his pastor he wanted to marry me, but his pastor convinced him stating I lived in a different state and it was going to be complicated for me to go back in forth. I’m always visiting him like 3 to 4 all the times for like 4 to 5 days staying max.

Hi so I really like a guy and he also really likes me but his friends keep telling him stuff that’s not true. Also things from my past like 10 years are I past. I also think he’s scared of getting hurt. I don’t want to put a spell on him to fall madly in love with me but theirs j7st somthing their between us. What can I do to just push him a little out of his comfort zone and to just get to gether and see what these feelings are… is it lust or is their simply somthing between us x

Number 1 but I think their could possibly be 3 other men in love with me but I don’t see them like that. Just the 1 I seem to be connected to and can’t stop thinking about and he’s said he feels similar but our family’s hate each other. I’m 32 and he’s 40 so it’s not just a teanager crush. Oh I feel like a idiot now x

My boyfriend has a very busy schedule now i feel like he’s not into me sometimes although he says he love me and i must also try to understand his schedule, i just want to fit into his schedule because i love him, what can i do?

Hi Tess! Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years but the day before our 3 year anniversary he broke up with me because he wasn’t happy at the moment and he didn’t want to be in a relationship. I know what he’s saying may be partly true but I do believe, as well as outsiders close to us believe, that he is just going through some things as of right now. He had a pretty traumatic childhood and this time of the year is always very triggering for him. Right now he is talking to another girl and doing things he would not usually do as an escape but I know that that is not what he really wants. He barely speaks to me about things anymore and gets mad at me easily. Our relationship was going amazing before he talked to his friend about us. We never had any issues, barely fought, we were planning on doing many things together, and we both ALWAYS made sure the other one was happy and comfortable. I know that this break up is not meant for us but it is just a rough patch. I was thinking of doing a simple love spell until I talked to a few people and realized how dangerous they can be. I was thinking of doing #2 from this list though because it seems much safer and easier. Would you recommend me to do this? If so how important is it to be done on a full moon and about how long does it take to see results? Please help me.

Hi AJ! Yes, number 2 sounds like an excellent choice. The full moon is this upcoming Wednesday/Thursday, and either day would be ideal for this spell if you can do it. Just the standard aloe vera gel. No lotion or any sort of blend. And I would not suggest red. You’re right that it’s a color of love, but that is in its passionate aspect and not its healing/soothing/repairing aspect. For a healing spell, red can be too inflammatory, like putting cayenne pepper on a cut.

Thank you! I found a love spell that I want to try but I dont think it will be a good idea. My biggest fear is that he is too far into a relationship with this other girl. But I guess the universe will decide what happens. Is there a specific scent that the candle should be? I have white ones but they’re all scented.

Thank you Tess!! I’m really nervous that he won’t come back to me because of how close he is getting to this girl. We’ve been together for 3 years but he did date her a year before we dated. their relationship didn’t work for multiple reasons but I’m worried that this will. It’s been about 2 weeks now and they’ve been spending a lot of time together but I do believe that him doing this is just an escape from his personal issues. He still tells me he loves me and admits that he has feelings but he just doesn’t want a relationship right now. I don’t think it’s that he doesn’t want a relationship I just think he needs help getting past his issues and this is his way of escaping. Do you have any advice on top of using spell #2? I really want to message him but I’m nervous that it will not go well.

And we’ve gone through break ups every year around this exact time. that’s how i know it is something deeper in himself that he can not cope with. and he expresses that to me. Last year when we broke up he was talking to somebody and we were broken up for about a month and a week. we came back even stronger but i don’t know what changed his mind. This time it seems different. I’m worried we might now come back but I am 99% sure that we will be okay. I’m just nervous that we won’t.

Soo, I was with this guy for four years off and on when i was younger and didn’t realize that i was truly in love with him. I had ruined everything. It has been two years almost on New years eve it’ll be two year. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him. Its an every day heart breaking process trying to get over him. I haven’t found anyone that even amounts to the way i feel about him. He won’t talk to me at all anymore. Iv’e been having a strange gut feeling that the reason its been so hard on me is because we do belong together it was just at the wrong place and time in my life that we had met. If i can get him back i’d do everything different. What do i do?

Hello,
So there’s this guy who I haven’t yet met
he works in the same building that I’ll be working in when I visit my sister’s house in a different country in July,
Every since talking with him, I’ve felt a ‘pull’ towards him
there’s been certain synchronicities and things as well and I keep thinking of him,
he actually matches 88% of my desired soulmate traits too
however I’m really trying to keep focused on this amazing self love and self care journey I’m on and the thoughts of him feel like they are taking me away from myself.

I still want to meet him and see what happens in July and go from there, but I want to completely let go of any desires or expectations that I have of him and anything that could transpire

Which of these spells should I do?
or should I try a cord-cutting to cut my current attachments to him?
I don’t want to banish him fro my life I just want to stop thinking about him and then live in the moment when I meet him 7 months from now

Hi! For now, I would focus on self-care, clearing clutter, cleaning your house, and space clearing. These will all help raise your vibration and clear the way for the most positive possible conditions in all life areas, including romance.

Spells are all about intention, feeling, and belief. That being said, roses can really help with all three of those because they vibrate at a very high level and resonate with the frequency of the heart.

Hi Tess! Firstly, thank you so much for what you do! I am just beginning to embrace and come into what I call my “witchy ways”, lol, and stumbling upon your website has been soooooo amazingly insightful and helpful. I just had to write to tell you what happened when I did spell #2 and to possibly get your insights on it. I had printed out a picture of myself and my high school ex boyfriend- I won’t go too much into the details, basically I had reconnected with my high school love, we had an intense couple of weeks, and then he let me know he wasn’t ready to jump into another relationship with anyone since he’d just very recently been broken up with by someone else he loved deeply. I was devastated, and that’s when I started looking up love spells, and thank the Universe I found you, lol. Anyway, I let the spell jar sit from one full moon to the next, then decided it was time to let all my attachments to him go since he hadn’t contacted me at all during that time (and I’ve been doing a lot of inner work on myself and just feel better about it as a whole). Here’s the interesting part- when I pulled out the picture, the entire top half of his head/face was erased away! Looking at the picture, nobody would have known it was a picture of him. The rest of the photo remained in whole. I feel like the Universe was possibly telling me that my soulmate/life partner isn’t him and that it’s likely someone I don’t know yet… What do you think? 🙂 I plan to do spell #1 on Friday the 31st of this month, and I also did #5 on the last new moon and have been wearing my bracelet every day, only taking it off to shower or bathe. 🙂

Thank you for providing these alternative love spells. I’ve been wanting to do one for a while but hesitated because of the common morality issue of controlling a person’s free will. I want to ask about your input about a situation and which spell to conduct. I had a relationship with my ex who prior to dating was my best friend of 5 years. The relationship ended due to my insecurities and external factors, and while I am aware that the relationship was not the strongest, I’ve been focusing on my self esteem and become a better veraion of myself, and the external factors have changed. I still love her, and yet I also am afraid of backsliding and rejection if I were to bring up my interest in starting a new relationship. It’s been 5 months since the break up, and I’m unsure if we are ready to talk. Would you suggest I perform 4 or 5?

I am thinking about using #2 to help speed up my connection with the guy I am interested in. We have been hanging out for 2 years and we pretty much act like we are in a relationship and hang out every weekend and have a great vibe. But I think he is scared of commitment. I am hoping this will speed up the process and finally get us together. Hopefully, but then again I’m scared it will push hin away and I will lose him. This would be the right one to use, right?

But my main questions is I’m terrfied of fire. Including matches and candles. My question is do you have to use a real candle or can it be a battery tea light?

In your case, I would definitely use a battery tea light. We don’t want to add terror into the mix. And yes, this could be a good choice if this is the spell that calls to you most. Be sure your intention is for whatever is best for you and everyone concerned. That way, whatever happens, you can trust it is right. After all, he may be perfect for your right now, but there may be someone even better for you who won’t come into your life until you create the space. It’s always best to work magic with the best possible outcome as the intention.

Hi Tess, i really want to use one of these spells to bring back a guy I’m really developing feelings for. He seemed really into me as i did him but we slept together send admittedly too soon. Possible that the thrill of the chase was over for him and we still speak and get along great but now he no longer seems interested. Which would you recommend for this ?

Okay……
Let me tell you my story………
I love someone so much that i can do anything for her happiness,
I can accept anything her happiness.
I can sacrifice anything for her happiness.

All i want is to put smile on her face..
I want to fix everything of her…
I want do everything for her dreams come true..

Her pain hurts me.
Her happiness makes me happy..
She is everything to me…
She is my whole world..
I wanted to kill myself..
But when i see her pain it became my purpose to make her dreams come true….
Live a life with her.
I want to be the reason of her happiness.
All i wan is to be with her forever..
I don’t need her love or anything..
I want her existence, her presence to my life..
I don’t care how she looks, i don’t care how she behave. I just love her soul, her existence..
I don’t care about her mind or anything..

I just want to be with her forever.
I want to be her.
I can’t think a life without her…..
She is reason to be alive…

Even if she hurts me i will be with her…
I will be continue love her…
Even the whole world goes against her i will be with her.
Even she hate me i will love her.
I don’t want happiness or love of others.
I need her.. i need to love her.

All i want is to be with her.
And i want her to accept my love..
But for some reasons i can’t connect her.
I can’t tell her….
She is someone who won’t believe….
I know she needs love.
I know she needs someone who can love her Unconditionally.
She is not with someone.
And No one can love her as i do.
I will do anything for her…
I don’t need her to change her free will.
But if there is anyway that I can make her feel that how much i love her.. how much i care for her..
I don’t need anything.
I will give everything to her..
She is my life.
I want to give my whole life for her name.
And that’s true.

I don’t need anyone but her in my life.
She can be only one who can be my life partner.

Hi Riad! Before you do ANY MAGIC, I suggest talking to a therapist. This is something so many of us can benefit from (I have been through some therapy myself at various times in my life) and I am sensing you could use some emotional healing before you can have a healthy relationship with this woman or anyone. I’m not sure what your financial situation is, but a lot of health insurance covers counseling and there are also apps that offer phone therapy for a reasonable price. I know it’s not as glamorous as doing a spell, but if you want to move forward in your love life, this will be a wonderful step!

I dated this guy, and we broke up. It was fine, but I realized there was another girl that came along pretty quick. Their relationship makes sense to no one, but him and I never talked again. Flash forward to a year and a half later, and I still had really strong feelings so I chose to do some of these to help me gain closure and find new love. After blessing a rose quartz bracelet months ago, he calls randomly one night to hang out and fiddled with the bracelet throughout the night, but claimed later it was a huge mistake to hang out. About a month later, I found out him and that girl are back together and a week later the bracelet broke. Any help with what all this means, and how to move forward. I was going to bless a new bracelet.

Amarie, did you do the bracelet spell with the intention and expectation of whatever is best for everyone involved? Or did you expect that something specific would happen from doing the spell (i.e. that you and he would get back together)?

Hi , I’m in a bit of a pickle right now , my marriage of coming up 15 years is going horribly wrong , I’ll admit I’ve not been the best husband ( we’ve moved country. Built our own home and with that we had major bad luck with the builder and financially and stress and lost a child ) few extra stress to rest our marriage but until recently we weathered it , have three awesome kids who we love and adore , moving here brought It’s own extra stresses for my wife’s job, she had to fight all the way to get back to her old status and position ,,basically starting from the bottom again and having to deal with some pretty crappy people along the way ,
So it’s not all been me , I thought I was there for her and as a man I tried to fix as much as I could , I had an Injury that took me out for 5 months and I’d say put me on a depression Route till I got out of that funk , so I will admit my faults , last 8 months have been hell, my wife wants time and space to see if she wants to stay married ! Of course o freaked and did all the wrong things , ( I’m a child of divorce so probably didn’t handle it well at all). We’ve been getting distant and arguing over silly stuff ,but I’ve since found out that a couple of her friends have been really really horrible and here Influence is starting to show , I’ve Been made out to be a really horrible person and I’m not , my friends ( female ) cannot Believe the way I’ve been portrayed , to be fair if I thought my friends wife had a husband like I’ve Been made out I’d be getting her out and away from him , but that’s not me their describing at all and that really hurts and as their her friends I can’t really intervene I don’t want to tell her her friends are a bad influence that would make me actually like they make out( should point out , men haters , Seriously messed up relationship ( I’ve offered to help them in the past and be there for them and their kids as a father figure ) one is serious negative depressive person who wants out of her relationship but can’t as her husband now it’s disabled and totally reliant on him, another is single no kids no mothering none in her body and has a hang up about men!! And wants my wife to go on single holidays with her , another is divorced and screwing her way up her job ladder ,,party all the time , I could say more but ,, it’s their lives as long as they don’t interfere with mine live and let live ,but they are now interfering ) that’s the background , I love my wife from the moment I met her , I still do even when she’s a pain. But this has to stop the negativity (oh and there’s a man in the background too, work colleague and a Neigbour , always seems to come round when I’m not her , offered to do loads of jobs around our farm with her , my jobs , I. Work and get my stuff done they have shifts so more days off to do stuff , when I did one of the jobs she said she was going to do with him ? No help at all , 20 ton of wood cut and split and stacked, he reckons he hasn’t had sex with his wife for 7 years !!! That’s what he told her , A horrible little man odious man that I tolerate she even told me he was full of shit and had cheated on his wife and he is always on the phone or texting or something hanging round ,
What’s best to shut up these gossips maybe even make them realise their gossiping is hurting my marriage and they should look inside their own and fix their own flaws and faults before offering bad advice to others ,
What’s best to keep this man away and silence him out but have her be able to continue to work with him professionally still , make him look at his own marriage and fix his own rather than interfere with mine , lastly if my wife and I are to be together then what’s best for her to see that and realise that and come back to the family , I’m about to go work away for minimum 2 weeks most 6 weeks ( hate the idea being away from my kids physically I love my daddy hugs and it feels like prison being sent away to work but I have no option till I find another job , I don’t want her to be with me if she doesn’t want to , I’d rather see her happy than like this now , and I need to be happy and with some one who deserves me and I them , like we had , we were a team , what’s best to relight the fire and passion back and save my marriage , also make her see what she has done is wrong and we both learn and grow together , everything I do now is wrong and she fights , I’m not controlling I ju want the same respect back I give out , 8 months on it’s not a happy place being I’m limbo does she want me or not , I don’t want to harm anyone juts help them see their own faults and let them work on them and hopefully rekindle my marriage and we come through this trial even stronger and happier and a positive model for our kids to help them on their life journey

Many thanks and appreciation for any advice and grateful for you taking the time to read this

Hi Craig! I’m sorry you’re going through this. I suggest detaching temporarily from the outcome and other peoples’ behavior just until you get some counseling and take care of yourself as best you can. Focus on yourself exclusively and your own behavior until you feel calmer and more grounded. I know it seems like you want to intervene as soon as possible, but it’s really important that you take time to get this perspective on how to move forward in the healthiest possible way and for the highest good of all concerned.

Greetings!

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