This will be the weekly column where I show off share all the things I'm crushing on hard. This week we start in the bathroom. Take my hand, let's go!

This is my new favourite soap. I got it for my birthday and learned that anything given to you in a Holt Renfrew bag is guaranteed fucking gold on gold. I had always read about Jo Malone and her stronghold on elegant smells in England. And now the pretty pretty is mine. It's strong, no doubt, but in a heady citrus dream type way. Ordinarily I'm too impatient to use a bar of soap, but for this soap I make exceptions. And the packaging, LOOK AT IT. The cream and black are so goddamn classy. And that is one area of my life that always needs some help. Available here.

This is my new eye lover. Made by Urban Decay, it has been loved up on by the entire beauty universe, so I needed to have it. Believe the hype. It's a wand applicator which makes me feel like a genie at 7:50 am, worth the cost just for that. It goes on gold and shimmery, and you can stop right there. Easy. Done. OR, slather on another shade and it will lock that colour down. All day. Or night if you are hard. Available here.

This is my Mama's necklace. I stole borrowed it years ago and I just love it. It's hard to see and I only know two techniques in Photoshop and neither one of them really showcases the gorgeous contrast of the gold and ruby together. And the circles! Oh, the circles. My favourite shape. The chain doesn't get hung up weird on my square neck and it makes me an instant lady, provided I don't talk.

This is my mouthguard and its subtle neon case. You don't want to smell this. But this is the one device I can't live without. I used to wake up with headaches from clenching my teeth during my year of higher learning until I had enough and asked Mama to do this thing up for me. It gives me caveman jaw and creeps Nuv out so I only pop it in when it's dark. If I forget it I have nightmares, like last night when I dreamt everybody was eating pizza and I had had ENOUGH of being left out so I stomped out of the Wal Mart and was arrested and in jail and nobody came or called me. I love how my self esteem is garbage even in my sleep.