THE HOLY SHADOW

There is an old Sufi story that is told about a woman who the
angels longed to bless with the most profound gift a human could
carry…a gift so powerful that it would have the power to truly
impact the world. After much arguing among themselves, they
narrowed their potential gift list to the three top influential
qualities…virtue, power, and persuasion. God wisely told the angels
that they should ask the woman if one of these gifts would be what
she would wish for. The woman listened politely as the angels made
their case, but steadfastly refused each gift. Indignant, the
angels insisted that she choose some gift or simply hold the one
they would choose for her. After much consideration, the woman
responded, "If I must carry a gift, I ask that I may do a great
deal of good without ever knowing it." From that day forth, every
time the woman's shadow fell behind her it would have the power to
sooth pain and comfort sorrow. As she walked, behind her, her
shadow made arid paths green, caused withered plants to bloom,
brought fresh color to that which was bland, and replaced
unhappiness with a stirring of joy. The woman simply went about her
daily life diffusing her touch into the world, without ever being
aware of it. In time her name would be forgotten and she would
simply be remembered as The Holy Shadow who would continue to cast
itself in the world as long as it should exist.

We have all been touched by that Holy Shadow, by the impact
another makes in our lives simply through the gift of their
presence. We have been blessed now for many years to share our
family life (and Sunday afternoons) with a 93 year old wise sage
and mentor known in the world as Ms. Bennie. It was love at first
sight when Bennie welcomed our searching family to her church, and
it didn't take long for a mutual "adoption" to take place, finding
comfort in each other's hearts and homes. An adopted
grandparent-of-choice for our children and a soulful guide of sorts
for Dana and I, our "Sundays with Bennie," garnished with wine,
cheese, and gluten-free crackers, have become a cherished ritual
for each of us.

It has become painfully obvious that Bennie has grown
increasingly tired over the past few years, and her aging body has
made it more challenging for her to be as physically active as she
would prefer. In many ways Bennie has been gently preparing us for
the inevitable end of her life journey, and there is a certain
urgency to spend as many Sundays with her as we possibly can. It is
indeed a privilege to have the opportunity to sit and visit with
her about the changes she has witnessed throughout her life that
have impacted our political, social, educational, and relational
institutions.

Though the changes to her tiny body continue to limit Bennie's
physicality, her mind is as sharp as ours and her spirit remains
strong and vibrant. Her ability to accept those nagging physical
changes while refusing to give them any more power than is
unavoidable is absolutely inspiring. Although not an exhaustive
list, some of the lessons we have learned over the years from
Bennie include: maintenance of personal boundaries is CRUCIAL;
cherish your time with your family; recognize when it's time to let
your children do it THEIR way; have a purpose behind every choice;
never ASSUME that people want/need your help; learn to accept what
is out of your control to change; realize that your perspective is
just one of many; and ALWAYS, ALWAYS, preserve time and energy for
yourself and the things and people that really matter most. What
Ms. Bennie perceives as our Sundays being about us lifting her
spirits, is so much more her lifting ours. We have watched the
living of her life, we have listened to the telling of her stories,
and we have been touched by a wisdom that is carried in that
shadow.

Even though Bennie recognizes that life will continue to
challenge her in her final years, whether it be recovering from a
broken arm as a result of a fall, or trying one more time to get
the correct prescription of reading glasses, she is not looking to
"throw in the towel" prematurely. She still finds joy in the flower
baskets that adorn our backyard fence and watching the squirrels
chase each other through the treetops. She still appreciates a
glass of good cabernet while exploring new tastes in cheese and
crackers. We have no idea how many "Sundays With Ms. Bennie" are in
our future, but we do know that we will forever treasure the
lessons we have learned from this Holy Shadow securely tucked in
our hearts and in our memories.

Bennie would take issue with our bequeathal of "Holy Shadow"
upon her. She is just a woman who continues to be busy living her
life, unaware in so many ways of the touch she is leaving behind.
Through the legacy of those bearing the Holy Shadow, we are each
uplifted, encouraged, strengthened, infused, inspired, and
energized to live out our own potential. Who embodies this Holy
Shadow presence in your own life? Here's to all of the Ms. Bennies
in the world and the gift of inspiration they bring to us all.