September 17, 2014

Would You Read It Wednesday #145 Special Edition - Taffeta: Diary Of A Supermodel (PB)

Howdy, folks!

Guess what?

We have a very special Would You Read It today! It's a little less of a pitch and little more of a jacket blurb, and it's for a great cause!

You all may recall back in November... sheesh, that was nearly a year ago, wasn't it?! Where does the time go?... but anyway, you may recall we had a special Would You Read It for Faith The Heroic Pony. It was written by Sue Weeding and introduced to us by Koren Helbig, a journalist who discovered Sue's extraordinary mission. Today, I'm hoping we can once again put our heads together to help Koren and Sue ensure the success of Sue's new book, soon to be released. I'll let Koren tell you all about it:

Sue and Rod Weeding moved to Spain from Britain aiming to slip into an easy sunshine-and-relaxation retirement. But all that changed in 2008 with Luceiro, a two-year-old stallion they found locked in a filthy and dark stable, his left eye badly injured and rotting, hurling himself repeatedly against the bars of his stall as flies drove him crazy. The Weedings brought him home and unwittingly created a much-needed horse rescue centre.

Now, at their Easy Horse Rescue Center in Spain’s southeastern province of Alicante, the Weedings care for more than 80 horses, ponies and donkeys saved from abuse and neglect. Some of the animal's remarkable stories have been told in this documentary.

Among their charges is little Faith, who became the first pony in Spain to be fitted with a prosthetic leg after her mutilated front leg had to be amputated.

Faith's journey inspired Sue to write a series of children's books telling the stories of the center's horses, aiming to raise awareness about animal abuse while generating additional funds to cover the center's hefty running costs. The first book, Faith: Dairy of a heroic horse, is available on Amazon. Now we'd love a little help putting together a snappy blurb for the second book, Taffeta: Diary of a supermodel. Thanks!

I know Koren and Sue have come to the right place! There is no one better to help them than you guys. Here is a little Something Chocolate to get you going. Don't think of it as bribery... think of it as brain fuel :)

Ooh! Scrumptious!
(And many thanks to Teresa for calling my attention to this deliciousness! :))

So without further ado, here is the pitch/blurb for Sue's soon-to-be-released new book, Taffeta: Diary Of A Supermodel.

Working Title: Taffeta: Diary Of A Supermodel by Sue Weeding
Age/Genre: Picture Book (ages 6-13)
The Pitch/Blurb:

Taffeta was a prized show pony winning rosettes in England when one day she was taken from her mother, loaded onto a strange trailer and driven many hours south to a hot and dusty paddock in Spain. When her new owner there fell ill, Taffeta was left without food and water until she grew so weak she couldn't even stand.

Luckily, this sad true story has a happy ending. Taffeta was saved by a local couple who run a horse rescue center and soon her beauty had propelled her to stardom in Spain. Taffeta became a supermodel and the star of many local fashion shows!

Share in the heartwarming story of Taffeta's rescue and rise to fame in this diary-style picture book packed full of beautiful real-life photographs.

All funds raised from the sale of this book help the Easy Horse Care Rescue Center Foundation in Spain care for its many rescued horses, ponies, and donkeys.

Taffeta: Diary of a supermodel is the second in a series of children’s books in which the horses and other animals saved by the Easy Horse Care Rescue Centre share their real-life rescue stories.

The Easy Horse Care Rescue Center is based in Rojales, along Spain’s famed Costa Blanca coastline in the Valencia province. The center opens to the public every Sunday all year round. You’re welcome to come along and meet the horses, ponies, donkeys, and many other rescued animals that reside at the center and hear their incredible stories.

If your answer is YES, please feel free to tell us what you particularly liked and why the pitch piqued your interest. If your answer is MAYBE or NO, please feel free to tell us what you think could be better in the spirit of helping Koren and Sue improve their pitch. Helpful examples of possible alternate wordings are welcome. (However, I must ask that comments be constructive and respectful. I reserve the right not to publish comments that are mean because that is not what this is about.)

Please send YOUR pitches for the coming weeks! For rules and where to submit, click on this link Would You Read Itor on the Would You Read It tab in the bar above. There are openings in November so you've got a little time to polish up your pitches and send yours for your chance to be read by editor Erin Molta!

Koren and Sue are looking forward to your thoughts on their pitch! I am looking forward to hearing your thoughts on this question (which I just thought of because of today's pitch :)):

Would there be any interest among the ranks here in expanding Would You Read It to include jacket blurbs? I think it would be very helpful to writers who intend to self-publish, and it's very good practice to see if you've really got a handle on your book! I don't think there would be as much call for it, so blurbs would be less frequent than pitches, but what do you think? I would only want to try it if you guys thought it would be interesting and fun. So let me know in the comments! :)

Have a wonderful Wednesday, everyone, and definitely seconds or thirds on that cake up there :)

54 comments:

Hey Sus. I do remember that story. Taffeta is so CUTE. She's 100 on the cuteness meter. (Don't tell Mr. Ed. He's sensitive.) :-) I would read more. I will read more. Great job on the pitch. I especially like how you talk about Taffeta's plight. It makes her more active in the pitch.

I've not yet read the first of the series, but I know a lot of little girls who will absolutely love it, so I'll share it with them. That is an awesome blurb! I really can't find fault with it, and have already fallen in love with Taffeta's story.

Or maybe it's just the chocolate-induced high... always happy to send chocolate your way, especially if you send it back my way! LOL!

We're so pleased you like the pitch, Tracy! And you can check out the blurb for the first book on Faith over at Amazon. Here's the link: http://www.amazon.com/Diary-heroic-horse-Molly-gives-ebook/dp/B00CHPVKXM :)

Of course I remember this! I keep Faith's photo by the telephone, and everyone asks about it. :) I just had one question after reading Taffeta's pitch, which probably doesn't matter but I'm just curious, if she was a prize-winner why didn't her owner/relatives come get her after she was discovered? So sad to think she was abandoned. And the second and third paragraphs could probably be combined (see below), but it's good as it is, too. Great work being done!![Luckily, Taffeta was saved by a couple who run a horse rescue center. Soon her beauty propelled her to stardom in Spain. Taffeta became a supermodel and the star of many local fashion shows! Share in the heartwarming story of Taffeta's rescue and rise to fame in this diary-style picture book packed full of beautiful real-life photographs.]

I'd read both stories about Faith and Taffeta. Animal rescue stories really give me hope for the human race. They all don't have a happy ending. I'm very aware of that but I love to read about the ones that do!

Mmmmmm great chocolate cake, Susannah! I would read this also. As an animal lover it is always wonderful to read great rescue stories. I agree with others that the pitch/blurb needs combined to make it more active and inviting.

Taffeta was a prized show ponywinning rosettes in England when she was taken from her mother, loadedonto a strange trailer and driven many hours to a hot and dusty paddock inSpain. When her new owner fell ill, Taffeta was left without food and water and grew too weak to stand.

Luckily, Taffeta was saved by a local rescue center and soon her beauty propelled her to stardom in Spain.Taffeta became a supermodel and the star of many local fashion shows!

Share in Taffeta's heartwarming rescue and rise to fame in this diary-style picture book packed full of beautiful real-life photographs.

Definitely would read it. Faith had such a touching story, and I love how you highlight Taffeta's supermodel status, which reminds me of Cinderella: love and beauty, neglect, love and beauty again.

I like how the pitch highlights that rise and fall, but might make it more active. There's a lot of "was" used, a sign of the passive voice. I'd switch it to active and highlight Taffeta's point of view:

A true beauty, Taffeta used to win all the rosettes in the pony shows in England. But then a (be a little specific: an older widow, a ranch owner) bought her, and she had to move away from her mother, to her new owner in Spain. And when that new owner fell ill, so did Taffeta.

Taffeta could barely stand from lack of food and water. Luckily, two fairy godmothers from a local rescue center found her, and Taffeta found supermodel status again.

Taffeta: Diary of a Supermodel is the second in a series of children’s books in which the horses and other animals saved by the Easy Horse Care Rescue Centre share their real-life rescue stories. All funds raised from the sale of this book help the Easy Horse Care Rescue Center Foundation in Spain care for its many rescued horses, ponies, and donkeys.

I remember Faith's story and Taffeta's sounds just as compelling. What wonderful work happens at Easy Horse Care! The only suggestion I have for the blurb/pitch is to switch the order of the 4th and 5th paragraphs and consolidate the 5th and 6th paragraphs into one.

And great point on Taffeta. I think it was because she was a foal, and foals are often separated from their mothers and sold off once they reach a certain age. But we'll definitely have another look to make sure that's as clear as possible in the blurb and the book itself.

Angela, you deserve a medal! Thanks so much for buying the book. We're always looking for Amazon reviews, too, so if you like the book and happen to have a spare minute to write a few words, we'd be really grateful. :)

I am coming late to the party and all the suggestions I would have made are already spoken about. Especially important is the more active voice changing was and to be verbs to be more active. .

This is a story close to my heart because I wrote a book just like this called Edmund Pickle Chin, a Rescuse Donkey Story about an abused donkey who learned to trust his caregiver and help out on the farm. All online proceeds go to his home, Evermay Farm.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Evermay-Farm/154892358148

and

http://evermayfarm.org/donate/

. Edmund is a donkey there and his friends are bunnies, miniature horses and etc. I am going to Look at how this farm does in Spain and hopefully they will coninue to do good work. We need places where abused animals go. We need rescue farms.

Thank you so much for putting out another Wednesday pitch, Susanna! It's great to know so many of us out there working tirelessly. ^^ I would read this story because it's inspiring and would be a delightful and rewarding read for my kids who will learn about caring hands for animals.

Yes, I would read this and already would like to send the book link to a couple of horse-loving friends. I did find the title a little misleading--especially since my (imagined) premise of a MG or YA novel about the world of modeling really appealed to me. Alas, another book. I liked the three paragraph pitch, like a really short cover/query letter: 1) problem, 2) solution, 3) why it matters. I thought that was a really clear and effective format for this pitch.

Thanks so much for your helpful suggestions for Koren and Sue, Genevieve! Easy Horse Care is wonderful, isn't it? I'm so grateful they're out there helping so many horses, ponies and donkeys that need them!

I hope you get a chance to read both of these, Teresa. I've read Faith, and it's very nicely done. I'm looking forward to getting my hands on a copy of Taffeta :) And yes, we can just send chocolate back and forth constantly :)

Thanks so much for your thoughts for Koren and Sue, Robyn! And look at you - first commenter of the day :) I should have known you'd gallop right over when there were horses involved :) I will not tell Mr. Ed what you said about Taffeta, but I do feel a little miffed on his behalf :)

Yes, I would read this. What a wonderful story and what wonderful people!

I definitely think you would expand WYRI? to include jacket blurbs. That's the point of a jacket blurb right, to entice readers to want to buy/check out/read your book. What better place to get suggestions from other readers!

This sounds WONDERFUL - I DO agree with one of the commenters who was "mislead" by the title - but I'm not sure what to do with that. I would absolutely, positively read it - and jacket blurbs WOULD be cool. (and one of these days I WILL submit to WYRI)

I'm glad you like the sound of the book, Joanne - it's for such an important cause! And thanks so much for chiming in about the jacket blurbs - that makes 2 people who voiced an opinion :) Please do submit to WYRI anytime you like - we're into November now, so speak up if you want to reserve a spot. Everyone is nice - you don't have to worry :)

I know, I should have! But things get complicated traveling with teenage girls who are nervous about college interviews and such... We were in Doylestown, PA, which isn't that far from Philly I don't think?

That piece of cake is literally sinful! lol Now, due to the explanation of what the book is, I'd be interested, and I "get" the title due to the explanation, but before I read all that, the title including "supermodel" in it made me want to skip the post! lol But...that's just me, I'm thinking :)

Look what Alison, Kelly, Diane, Debbie and Donna gave me!

Look what Brooke gave me!

Look what Megan gave me!

About Me

Welcome to the wonderful world of writing for children! I am a writer, reader, animal-lover and chocolate enthusiast who lives on Blueberry Hill with my husband, kids, and dogs. Please check out my website at www.susannahill.com to learn more about my books and accompanying activities as well as lots of info for writers, teachers and parents.