I hate feeling like this

A few months ago, I got back with somoene I have not seen in a very long time.
She had to flee town due to an abusive father..well it has been 13 years, and I bump into her on myspace..her best friend found me then I found her on her list.

I am invited to dinner with her and a few others, her one condition was that her daughter had to approve of me, which she did...

Me and Jan were doing good...there was once I did raise my voice to her, but I did apologize to her ( I get annoyed by hearing the same question over and over when I already answer it) and things went on as far as I knew we was doing good, til our last date..she looked real out there..thinking..and when she is in that state she will not talk to me..but she was talking to her friend..all I knew to do was rub her back to try to comfort her..then we all stopped at Circuit City..my ex and her friend ran off..girl talking time....then MY exgf's friend came to me and told me that I was not the one for her pretty much..she put it differently... I wanted to walk off from everyone..cause I did not want them to see me vent..and I would of if not for how hot it was outside...but after that day she sent me a letter in myspace and beat around the bush..it was like she threw me away like trash, saying it was for the best for her to do it this way (dump me) said it woudl be easier on both of us..I was confused as hell!!

I keep wonder why, just like I am now..her I am over now..just right now going through some trust issues with women...but it did not end there!!

I was writing blogs..venting..and I'll admit it was my fault for not keeping them private...but at the time I did not care, I wanted ppl I know to know how I was feeling, cause with my seizures I am not able to drive..so not able to see anyone I know as much as I'd like to or get out as much as I would liek to.

BUT I wrote these blogs..well I forgot My exgf's best friend is on my friends list..well she was saying all this bullshit about me..saying I put her in a position to choose between me or her kids..and if that was so, why did my ex not say anything about this? I mean we had only been going out for nearly a month..I was just having fun getting to know each other again, but I talked to Jan before all this..I asked if I did anything wrong..she said no, and I asked this multiple time..but her best friend I think had something against me..you see behind my back she was calling me a psycho, I'll admit I have depression and anxiety problems, but I know I am not crazy...

Its funny you think someone is your friend and they just backstab you with slander, but thankfully I am mostly over all this, right now if I could just get over this trust issue I would be doing alot better.

Its funny you think someone is your friend and they just backstab you with slander, but thankfully I am mostly over all this, right now if I could just get over this trust issue I would be doing alot better.

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I read your post and I felt sad. People judge without knowing and should keep their mouth shut and mind their own business.

As for trust, at least for me one has to gain it, I wont give it to the first coming person around. They must deserve it. Go slow in giving your trust and forget all about this jealous friend backstabbbing you.

I try not to give into trust easily, but really all I want is to not be alone.
All my life I have trusted easily, I have always tried to see the good in everyone, cause I don't want to be as untrusting as my mom believing everyone is out to get me.
As for Jaime, I had the biggest crush on her in HS, which blinded me.
I never in a million years thought her to be a backstabber like that.
But I talked to some mutual friends, one of whom stopped talking to Jana for how she did me, and Jaime she will not talk to her at all.

But right now after all that I just am not wanting to let anyone close to me like that.
It just seems EVERYONE I grow close to takes me for granted and dumps me cause they don't get what they want out of me.

Right now the one thing I want to do is move away from here, cause really, it feels I have nothing here.

I have an idea what to do to getme a job with enough money to get out of here, but I have to wait on the paper work and red tape to get through Vocational Rehab, which is taking forever, I can only do so much, and trust me I don't like that.

But anyways Granny, it really is getting late, but I want to thank you for listening to me, not many do that for me anymore, not even my close friends.