I can finally look forward to my infirm dotage without the cliche of a sword cane.

By Chris Scott Barr

Whenever you see someone with a cane, you think that they are likely injured or have a disability. With this not-so-innocent-looking ZAP cane, you better make sure you don’t upset whoever owns it or you will be in some serious trouble. It has a carrying case to make it look ominous (if that’s possible), and a charger to keep it juiced up. This handy ZAP cane let’s its holder pack a bit more punch than necessary…about 1 million volts to be exact.

Though it can be illegal in some states, this is an awesome cane to have on hand. It’ll set you back about 90 bucks and it even has a flashlight so you can see who you’re roasting if it’s dark.