We generally don't keep sweets in the house. If DS asks for a treat (usually a cookie, because that boy is a cookie fiend) we usually explain that we don't have cookies now, but there will probably be some at church (we go at least twice a week, so church is never more than a couple days away) the next time we go.

If we do have treats at the house getting them is tied to eating enough of the meal. We don't have an arbitrary standard like cleaning your plate or a certain number of bites. I eat every meal with this kid and I know what he typically eats to be satisfied. So as long as he actually eats his dinner, I have no problem with an occasional treat. If he doesn't eat enough dinner, I have no problem telling him that he can't have a special treat because he didn't eat his dinner, and his body needs lots of good food before he has junk.

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Nicole; spunky, sassy mama to my two little wild ones: Logan (9-08) and Liam (11-10) and Grayson (12-12)
I blog about the hilarity that comes along with raising my boys!

My kids have to eat all of their dinner for dessert in my house. I don't ever feel like I'm forcing them to "stuff themselves" though. I pay close attention to serving sizes and I never give them more than I know they would want to eat. They usually voluntarily eat 2-3 helpings of dinner anyways so it's usually not an issue. We also don't do dessert every night.

I guess I'm lucky because as picky as my DD is about her meals, when she is craving sweets, I can usually give her 2-4 chocolate chips and that will be sufficient. On hot days, I put a yogurt cup in the freezer for her for frozen yogurt. We also do pureed frozen banana with peanut butter and cocoa powder for a healthy frozen dessert. We also do chocolate tofu pudding: mori-nu tofu pureed with agave nectar and cocoa powder. If inspired, I'll serve it on a homemade crust and call it a pie.

I guess the short answer to the question is that I find recipes that are of redeeming nutritional value and that my DD also likes enough to consider a treat. She gets offered dessert if I am eating dessert. Sometimes she says no thanks (!) If she asks for dessert, I tell her that she can have dessert when she finishes her meal, and she has always complied.

I guess, as I'm reading all these responses.. I am realizing that I don't group sweets in with nutrition. Because my daughter is only offered healthy food 90% of the time, I don't see 'dessert' as a competition for her health.

I see 'dessert' things as competition for teeth brushing. I mean, what is a piece of candy nutrionally? Nothing. Not even enough calories in 1 piece to even worry about it. IMO, anyways. But, what can it do to your teeth? That's the thing I consider.

So, now, we brush her teeth and I don't worry about it. But when she gets older, it won't be about 'you didn't eat well enough to get dessert', it'll be more like 'only people who brush their teeth properly are allowed to eat sweets'.

Like the OP, I don't consider fruit to be a treat. She gets fruit all day long. That's normal fare around here. Today alone she had strawberries, bananas, cherries, kiwi, apple and watermelon. That was part of breakfast, lunch, snack and dinner. Fruit isn't dessert in our house. Fruit is fruit.

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SAHM to Magnolia May (09/10), Luke Russett (04/13) and expecting 11/16. Wife and best friend to my airman.

we don't do dessert after dinner here. We eat dinner fairly late at 6:30pm, and then it's bath/brush teeth, stories in bed and then bed. In that time they are still full from dinner and aren't asking for anything else. However, during the day they eat sweet foods. Sometimes it's fruit, sometimes it's a sweet potato, sometimes it's ice cream. Also, we do breakfast for dinner sometimes, and we have belgian waffles or pancakes which are sweet. They also eat yogurt most days and it's the fruit/sweet kind.

I don't want my boys to think of food in regards to good/bad. I want them to have a healthy relationship with food and what makes their bodies feel good to eat. If they started asking for a dessert, I wouldn't have a problem with them having yogurt or something like that after dinner.

We don't do dessert here, and I don't buy sweets, so my kids don't ask for them At my MILs we do dessert, but it's usually mixed berries with home made whipped cream. They get treats during birthdays and holidays. Otherwise I just don't buy them.