February 07, 2006

Etiquette question

Let's say you are fifteen years old. One of your chores is to scoop the cat litter box every day. Your cousin, who is doing her own chores at the same time, tells you that the cat scoop is nasty, and makes gagging noises to indicate just how disgusting she thinks the smelly cat scoop is.

What is the appropriate response?

1) Take the hint and wash the cat scoop in hot soapy water.2) Toss the cat scoop in the garbage can and ask your mother to buy a new one.3) Duct tape the nasty scoop to a piece of PVC pipe and chase your cousin around the house with it.

(3) is so obviously the correct answer! I knew that before the photo loaded.

When I was 13, a distant cousin was visiting at the lake. She was very prissy (carefully groomed hair, make-up, etc.). So my other cousins and I (a mixture of boys and girls all about the same age, who spent our summer days swimming, boating, and tromping through the woods) told her that she had seaweed in her hair.

"EEEEEEW!!!!!" She shrieked, and ran off to find a mirror.

Now that I'm an adult, it occurs to me that we were kind of mean. However, it was still funny.

This is clearly a Very Deep Problem philosophically. Etiquettely speaking, the right thing to do was (1), and then offer a cup of hot tea while seated in the wing armchair, with a discreet dish of lavendar buds placed thoughtfully nearby.

Ethically speaking, however, Scooper-Boy had an absolutely clear duty to humanity to provide a vivid and lasting disincentive for Sniffy-Girl being clear and unambiguous about how icky she thinks icky things are. After the Trauma of The PVC Tube, she will henceforth swallow any statements about ickiness, thereby becoming the kind of useful and pleasant member of society who simply Sucks It Up.

for the record, upon inspection of the photo, the scoop is not very icky at all. She should see mine. I'll send you the address at my dad's house, and my dad the address at your house, if you ever want to trade. sans hot soapy water, of course. where's the fun in that?