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Topic : 05/24 "Get My Groom to Grow Up!"

Number of Replies: 147

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Created on : Friday, May 19, 2006, 10:14:02 am

Author : DrPhilBoard1

Do you feel like you're in a relationship with a man who's really a big baby? Angee says her fiancé, Bill, pouts, whines and stomps his feet whenever they get into an argument. He also calls "Mommy" five to 10 times a day and runs to her whenever there's a problem. Bill says he isn't a mama's boy, and that Angee just wants all of his attention for herself. Is Bill's mom meddling in their lives? And, why does Angee have her profile on a Web site? Are Angee and Bill grown up enough to tie the knot? Then, Rachel says it's time for her common–law husband, Tyler, to stop drinking and partying with his band mates, while she takes care of their baby and the bills. They've lived in his mother's basement for two years, and she says it's time Tyler gets a job so they can finally move out. Tyler says he enjoys being a kid, and when people tell him to grow up, it "harshes his mellow." Is Tyler's childish behavior affecting their 18-month-old son? What does Dr. Phil tell Rachel she must do? Share your thoughts here.

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The antics rule!!

Listen here doc, the antics are an amazing band. one of my personal favorites matter of fact and from going to numerous shows tyler (t.rexxx) is brilliant!! they are all high energy guys who like to have a good time and through their music and attitudes they make other people happy.. it's also clear to me that he loves his son and family very much and wouldnt do anything to harm them intentionally... so whatever you are going to say to him on wednesday it better not involve ditching the band... otherwise we'd have some serious beef!!

Grow up - my butt

The one who needs to be more mature is Angee. Bill's just doing what he's programmed to do because the outcome is what he wants - no responsibility, no commitment. How does a woman with a functioning brain end up with an immature, selfish, self-centered person like Bill. And, having taken him on as a project, why allow him to father a child. It takes a second to father a child, but a lifetime to parent one -- Bill was physically mature enough to father a child, but not emotionally and mentally mature enough to parent one. It's up to you, Angee -- you can have it hard raising a child on your own, or your can have it much harder trying to parent a man who should be an adult at the same time you parent a child. And, the child will be the one to suffer.

Grow up - my butt

The one who needs to be more mature is Angee. Bill's just doing what he's programmed to do because the outcome is what he wants - no responsibility, no commitment. How does a woman with a functioning brain end up with an immature, selfish, self-centered person like Bill. And, having taken him on as a project, why allow him to father a child. It takes a second to father a child, but a lifetime to parent one -- Bill was physically mature enough to father a child, but not emotionally and mentally mature enough to parent one. It's up to you, Angee -- you can have it hard raising a child on your own, or your can have it much harder trying to parent a man who should be an adult at the same time you parent a child. And, the child will be the one to suffer.

grow up my butt

I raised a husband and have finally escaped after 35 years. It is devistating to him to lose another mommy. I see him withering away because he does not know how to live without one. I love him as a human being but so glad I got away and still feeling guilty for "ruining his life".

He'll probably NEVER grow up -- don't risk it.

Angee is foolish to continue on with these marriage plans. It's too risky to take the chance that he'll grow up and be a man for you. And once you have children, it'll be too difficult for you to leave. You need to prove that you are a grown up and realize this is a bad plan for your life.

stop /look at what your doing then dont

i have been married to a momma,s boy for two and half years, i feel as if i have to fight and beg for his time. my husband,s family calls every day two three or more a day . wanting to know what he,s doing. and the frist thing in the morning,i love my family but we dont dare call each other like that or somebody would get there ears bend back.we whet away for three days and on the second doy his brother was calling my cell phone wanting to know what we were doing,there,s know way to get friendly if you know that i mean,the phone would ring and that would be all she wrote.i think it good that familys are close but not this close, so please think very long and hard before you tie your self to this man ,and please dont think you can change his,the only one that will change is you,into someonethat is better and unfulled god bless you in what ever you do/meandluke

Mama's Boy

I raised a husband and have finally escaped after 35 years. It is devistating to him to lose another mommy. I see him withering away because he does not know how to live without one. I love him as a human being but so glad I got away and still feeling guilty for "ruining his life".

You wrote my story. After 32 years I divorced my husband and I recall saying aloud as I stood in the living room alone after the judge awarded the divorce, "Well, you finally got him back Mama. He's all yours." With a mama's boy a wife will never win. I could never come in first because he hadn't divorced his mama yet. I became convinced that there was even a sexual component to his attachment to his mother, though I doubt that he was aware of it and he would never have admitted it even to himself. For any young wife who discovers she's married a mama's boy, I would advise her to cut her losses and divorce him before she devotes an entire lifetime to a half-marriage where only his mother wins.

CUT YOUR LOSSES AND LEAVE

I left after I'd spent 32 years with him and realized he would never truly be my husband if he refused to divorce his mother. Cut your losses and get out before you've spent a lifetime and all your best years playing a game you will never win.

Monkee see, Monkee do!

Obviously Angee's situation is like so many where the behavior is exhibited by the parent at an early age and the child does what comes naturally. This doesn't lt him off the hook as now being an adult he is allowed to make choices and perhaps he just doesn't have enough "tools" in his history to make the right decisions regardless of his upbringing. I believe marriage is a journey that throws curves at you and going into a marriage ill prepared and without some sort of counselling is immature and not I would strongly recommend they do not get married without further counsel - Good luck.