For people who have lost a loved one, the holidays can be a heartbreaking experience of “one less” – one less setting at the holiday table, one less gift to wrap and one less smile gracing the annual family photograph.

Whether you’ve lost a spouse, a parent, a child or a dear friend, the holidays – with the emphasis on long-held traditions and gatherings of loved ones – can be especially difficult.

Everyone grieves differently – there is no right or wrong way. But if you’ve experienced a loss and are anxious about the holidays, grief counselors at Hospice of Cincinnati say the following tips may help:

Set limits and ask for help. Right now, you are busy with the process of healing. It’s okay to say “no” if you’re not up to doing something, or to change how you used to do things. Don’t try to live up to the standards and expectations of years past. Ask others to help with tasks like baking, decorating or shopping.

Take care of yourself. Do whatever you need to do to help yourself. Now is the time for self-preservation; focus on taking care of yourself, not everyone else. Get some exercise and plenty of rest. Eat healthy foods and drink plenty of water. Take time to engage in prayer, meditation or guided imagery. Avoid alcohol and smoking. If alone-time is what you need, take it.

Give yourself permission. Give yourself permission to do what you need to in order to cope. Allow yourself to cry, laugh or smile. Know that it’s okay if you want to change how you’ve celebrated the holidays in the past.

Maintain a routine schedule. This is not the time to over-extend yourself, as many of us do during the holidays. Try to go to bed and rise at your usual times. Eat your meals at regular times, and try to hold on to other regular, daily activities (like exercise) if you can.

Reach out. Get in touch with your support network, whether it be friends, family or clergy. Don’t wait for them to guess what you need.

Seek positive experiences. Surround yourself with positive people, thoughts and experiences. Play with children and animals. Watch movies and TV, and read books, that boost your spirits. Do what you’ve always enjoyed doing, if and when you feel like doing it.

Accept the inevitable. The holidays will arrive whether you’re ready or not. Think about how you’d like to spend them, and then plan accordingly.

Take things one hour, and one day, at a time. Don’t think about the days and weeks ahead. All you have to do is make it through the next 24 hours. Break your day into manageable moments.

Learning to cope with the holidays is one more step in the long and arduous process of working through grief. If you or a loved one need support for this, we can help.

The Goldstein Family Hospice of Cincinnati and Fernside Grief Center is the first comprehensive bereavement center in Greater Cincinnati focusing on both adult and children’s grief. To contact our experienced team of grief counselors, call us at (513) 246-9208. Services are free and available to all, regardless of whether your loved one was cared for by Hospice of Cincinnati.

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