Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Who will be the Blabbermouth Party Candidate?

We need a third party to step up and show the Dems & Repubs what's up. Our good friend Al Bundy has suggested that we pull potential candidates from the vast list of blabbermouth posters. If you would like to be included, or knows of someone that should be included in the first ever Blabbermouth Party Primary, please submit your/their name in the comments section below. I will accept nominations for one week, and then we will begin the primary election, which will last for two weeks.

Please include reasons why you should be the Blabbermouth Party Candidate.

Update: Here are a list of the current nomineesAl Bundy / BlackLabelAxekissrulesFuckHaters (Lefty) / BigNewsDay

i WILL lower gas prices. ill make sure mtv will be done with and it will no longer exist. there will be a better justice system too and more jails and we will make sure nobody trys to escape from prison. also at concerts i promise that we will have better security so nobody will shoot another great musican or anybody else in the crowd. we will check for weapons so this thing doesent happen again cause your safety is my concern. if you vote for me ill make sure we should only fight the ones who started this war and NOT the other countrys that had nothing to do with the war we were originally in. i promise we will sell better cds at cd stores. i promise youll find death, darkthrone, cannibal corpse, possessed, hallows eve,the berzerker etc.etc. cds in your local record store. i will make sure cencorship is a thing of the past. and thats just to name a few of the things ill do for this great country.

I will make it legal to shoot motherfuckers in the head that drive too slow in the passing lane! I will also make it legal to forcefully pull over people who are paying more attention to there cell phone call than to driving. Once pulled over, you may rip the cell phone out of their hands and shove it up their ass.

Shopping malls will be a mosh-pit approved area. The song "5 Minutes Alone" will be played ALL DAY LONG at a very high volume. Padding will be installed around handrails, and all blitzing, bodyslamming, and other unarmed assaults will not only be allowed, but encouraged.

"Parking Lot Bulldozer Operator" will be an actual job, commissioned to destroy all vehicles with wheels over 20" in diameter, and all 4-cylinder powered vehicles with aftermarket exhaust systems. The Parking Lot Bulldozer Operator will also ruin your shit if you have a non-factory spoiler, or a non-functional hood scoop. Owners of new Ford Mustangs beware: ignorance is no excuse.

If Lefty & I win, we are going to replace the Washington Memorial with the Dimebag Memorial. It will be bigger than the Statue of Liberty, and have an observation deck inside the pink goatee complete with a wet bar and tittie dancers.

I completely support BND and Lefty, but Al Bundy and I are rockin' out some ideas also.

We don't actually disagree on anything, so we'll form the "Council of Four" to rule this great country as the executive branch. The Senate can be made of Treehouse of Death users (the more intellegent breed of metalheads), and the Blabberfucks can be the House of Representatives. Just so that you know, Blackwater Park is the Teddy Kennedy of the Metal Senate.

By the way, y'all please go an vote on the Treehouseofdeath.com March Metal Madness poll in the Forums -> Metal Madness section. They're busting my balls over there with the Dream Theater vs. Metal Church showdown.

Dream Theater is one of my favorite bands of all time, and I'm having a hard time understanding why they're losing by 1 vote right now.

holy shit, that's a damn fine platform! i think i know where my vote's going.despite any possible differences with me and you guys on Blabbermouth, i humbly throw it out there that, if elected, i ask please consider me for a spot on your Cabinet! an Administration such as this is not one to be left out of!

I've never had any problems with you Molotov, and I'm sure we can find a suitable place for you in the cabinet from hell. You are more than welcome to join our community. Shoot me an email and I'll send you an invite to be a contributing member of the blog.

Upon being elected, Big and I will pass an executive order forcing Metallica to write only albums which have the quality of Master of Puppets! This will be known as the "Contract with Metallica".

We will host a metal pilgrimage. It will be something similar to the Muslim's trip to Mecca. However, instead of walking around a pillar, us metalheads will mosh around a statue of the mighty Black Sabbath. Millions upon millions of metalheads will mosh simultaneously to the sounds of Slayer, Cannibal Corpse (the new album kicks major fucking ass!), and other brutal shit!

I also like Axe's idea of a four-person leadership. We will definitely have a bi-cameral system with the jackasses on Blabbermouth on one and the treehouse dudes on the other.

Every metalhead will get a gun and the explicit instruction to find and kill those jerkoffs known as My Chemical Romance! Fuck those pricks!

if you vote for me and axe you will be able to kill a long list of annoying celeberties and shitty bands at the white and we can tape it (with your aproval) so you can watch the dvd at home. you could kill p diddy,nelly,eminem, linkin park, george w bush, anybody else in the bush family,joan rivers,carson daily,limp bizkit,david spade,paris hilton etc.etc.

and it will be leagal. we always had thoes urges to kill now you can take out annoying celeberties. we will get some great tv shows back on the air.i know how you feel cause i wish i could do the same with married with children much sooner before they all got really old especially ed o neil who played al bundy.