Tuesday, March 23, 2010

“Some closing of the gates is inevitable after thirty, if the mind is to become a creative power.”~ E.M. Forster

This past weekend, one of my close friends went on a spiritual retreat she attends several times a year, and decided to share the trip with another friend who occasionally travels with her. During this particular trip, she had a surprise –another friend she had not seen in years decided to ride along.

Once she got past the initial shock, she was happy this opportunity had opened for her to find resolution to a personal conflict. Four years ago, she and this friend had come to a halt in their relationship for no apparent reason, and she never could figure out exactly what happened that drove her friend away.

The drive was for the most part uneventful, the soft rhythmic rumble of the engine interrupted only by the voices of the other two women excitedly chatting away and catching up. Focused on driving, and not much interested in the daily dramas being discussed, my friend avoided large part of the conversation and listened instead.

From the time their ways parted, their lives had evolved in such different directions that it was almost impossible to find anything left in common. During the trip, finally, my friend found the resolution she had waited several years for – nothing drastic had occurred when their friendship ended, no one had argued over anything, and no harsh words had come in between them; their friendship had simply run its course, and had come to an end.

It happens, sometimes, that relationships fall apart without an apparent reason, leaving one or more of the people involved fishing for answers, or wondering if they are at fault in the dissolution.

Some people are in our lives to stay, and their role is often one of mutual support, while some others only briefly cross paths with us to facilitate the learning of a specific lesson. When the lesson is assimilated – whether that milestone is integrated into our conscious perception or not – the person walks away and our paths diverge once again; they were never meant to run together, but only to merge for a short while.

Some of the ‘temporary people’ in our lives can enter the stage at the most unexpected moments, and their arrival and brief stay – as well as their often dramatic exit - have the power to upset the natural order of things, or to trigger a change by initially turning our lives upside down.

In my friend’s case, when the former friend walked out, curiosity surrounding the fallout was the main reason for her leaving the door ajar all this time. When she met the other woman again, she realized she had no hard feelings for her at all; in fact, she wished her well on her way. Nothing was ever really wrong; they were only two very different people whose lives briefly connected for reasons to them unknown. Their time together was over many years before, and finally my friend was able to lay the matter to rest. With that door finally closing she allowed herself to free up her perception while waiting for new things to take the place of something that no longer served her in the present.

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Sandra's new novel, KILLER IN SIGHT- A Tom Lackey Mystery, will be released around the end of May 2012. 10% of net sales will benefit Food-Aid.org, an organization whose goal is to fight world hunger and provide relief to disaster-stricken areas. Please watch the video trailer of KILLER IN SIGHT and, if you feel compelled, share it with your friends and ask them to do the same. We might not be able to save the whole world, but if we can relieve the discomfort of some by reading a book, everyone wins.