TIGER MISSES PUTT, LOSES OPEN, BLAMES MAYOR

"It was that damn kid again," a distraught Woods explained. "He followed me to every hole, and he wouldn't shut up. 'I love you, Tiger!' 'I'm your number one fan, Tiger!' 'Tell everyone you invited me to that American Express event, Tiger!' If I ever see him again, I'm gonna put a ball in his hole, I promise you that."