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Thursday, August 4, 2011

Learning how to balance....Life & Blogging!

Sigh..."Really! Didn't I just clean you bathroom? I don't want to scrub toilets I want to blog!" (insert bratty 3yr old tantrum here) Actually when I think about my day and the time spent, it is usually filled with brain-numbing chores that will only need to be re-done again tomorrow. Things that will be messed up or eaten, not meaningful things that I can look back on in a months time and admire. But then who actually admires a newly cleaned toilet anyway!

Insert flower photo here. It is a garden blog after all...lol!

So there lays my problem! Balance, there has to be some. One of the reasons I started my blog was a personal way to have a creative outlet and provide some "Me" balance in my days. Write, garden, photography, meeting new people, all things I love to do, so it was a perfect coming together of my interests, not to mention I really LOVE it!! It was a great balance...kind of the, Stay At Home Mom by day, Wine Drinking Garden Blogger by night. Sounds great hey!

Then walks in summer vacation...oh joy! Now don't get me wrong, I love being a mom with the many fun and exciting moments and I love my kids more than life. My two boys 6 & 8 are the sweetest, funniest things you will ever meet. But seriously, 10 weeks of no school is beyond a form of "cruel and unusual punishment" for a stay at home parent, its enough to drive me to drink (oh already there) its enough to drive me completely insane...lock me up!! Goodbye blogging...sniff sniff! Goodbye gardening...sniff sniff! I just couldn't do it with so much else that needed doing....the guilt of giving my time to blogging, putting it before the kids, house or the husband, it was killing me!

My days were now full of not only the brain-numbing chores but now the insanity-inducing entertainment, chauffeur driving, my wish is your command, 8yr old boy type of day!! (Although I have learnt how to defeat Bowser in Super Mario Bros, so not all is lost) With my days now so full, by the time the boys were finally in bed for the night, so was I! To tired to finish the laundry let alone do any blogging or god forbid...garden! Agh the neglect.

Insert another pic for my garden blogging friends here!

So the lesson that I have learnt this summer....DON'T do it ALL! You will seriously go crazy and then nothing will be achieved, except in my case where I helped stimulate economy with my wine purchasing!
I have had to put aside the idea that I am a supermom and can do it all! I have tried to do that to only burn myself out or neglect areas in my life that need me. Time to re-prioritize and let go of guilt and pressure...ahh its freeing! My blogging is me, its what I do! If my kitchen is messy it wont kill anyone if it is put it off for a bit while I get my post out.
Balancing has to be done and blogging is one thing I can not do without!

How do you balance your life and blogging? I would still love any tips or tricks as to what can help...thanks!!

42 comments:

You really have summed it up perfectly. I love the school holidays...until about 10:30 am. By then I've had a little sleep in and the kids are starting to make me feel a little deranged. As for housework, well lets just say we are not friends. In theory i'd like a spotlessly clean house at all times, but the reality is that I am very good at doing almost anything else (staring out the window, looking at the weeding that needs doing, sitting in front of the computer). At the moment i've even let the blogging fall by the wayside. So sorry. No tips here. Just know that you're not alone and those that are well balanced are probably fibbing.

LOL, I don't have any kids and my dog, Aster doesn't count. But I decided to take an online class this summer and it has taken away from my gardening and blogging time so I feel your pain. And Aster is whining now so no blogging for me until later. Thanks for the funny post.

OK, I know everyone says it, but your kids will grow up overnight and you'll wish they were little again. There, I've repeated the off-chanted phrase of moms with grown-up kids. I'm trying to savor every moment my daughter will give me this summer because in a few weeks, she'll be off to college! I know the early years are challenging, though. And I agree: Blogging is great therapy for all of us! Cheers!

I know exactly how you're feeling. I've barely had time to blog and really miss it. I sneak in here every so often when they are entertaining themselves. Luckily my kids like to play outside a lot so I do my gardening while they are making mud pies of fairy gardening. House cleaning is the worst because it stays clean for about half an hour, oh well at least the sun has been out.

No great advice. I guess I just don't sleep much because I blog late at night when I have busy times in my garden or with clients' gardens. I figure I'm just going to have blogging seasons. Spring and fall in the garden with a little bit of blogging, winter and summer blogging with a little big of gardening. And then house work when I absolutely have to! We have to be responsible adults now and then, I suppose :-)

No advice, just sympathy! My boys are 6 and almost 8, as well. We don't have any scheduled activities this month and that is a relief! Driving them around is tiring. I'm terrible at balance. I'm usually doing one thing obsessively. Today it was power-washing the deck. :)

Chica, I keep being told that this time in our lives when we are fully in the throws of parenting is one of the busiest. So I say, take that moment for yourself! We can't please everyone and if a girl isn't entitled to an occasional glass of wine and some friendly garden blog reading, then hell, I don't want this gig :) Have a great week and enjoy the sunshine ~cheers, Jenni

What a great post! I am in the same boat. I blogged when I could this summer and read as many blogs as I could (sometimes not always commenting) when I could squeeze it in. My younger kids (7 & 9) started back to school this week and now I feel like I am in overdrive trying to catch up with all I missed. Usually I have such a full schedule that I have to prioritize and to be honest cleaning my house is not at the top of the list. I love a clean house but I do what is necessary so that I can have "me" time which includes blogging, exercising and volunteer work. I think you have the right attitude and a glass of wine definitely helps!

And what a balance it is. I can not imagine having little ones to look after because that is all I would be doing. I was that way with my dogs, I always had to know what they were up too. No offense to my cats, but I just don't care where they are as long as they are in the house.

Blogging can suck up a tremendous amount to time and effort. That being said, it is a wonderful creative outlet that I can't seem to let go of. After more than a year blogging, I have learned to relax a bit and post when I can.

You crack me up!! I don't have kids, but my friends with children have all started expressing similar emotions. School will start again soon! And congrats on learning how to defeat Bowser. When we used to play as kids, it took me forever to beat him and I had to have my brother help me.

My kids are significantly older (19 and 16) but blogging during the school year when I have hundreds of papers to grade every week, sports practices/games to attend, etc can be challenging, to say the least. Let your kids entertain themselves, even if they don't agree with that idea, to let them know you have needs, too. As far as cleaning the house? Clean enough is good enough!!

Julia I don't have any hard and fast rules. I do know that if Mamma aint happy, aint nobody happy though and that means finding some time to do what keeps you sane...if that is blogging and wine and the housework suffers - so be it! Like Casa Mariposa my kids are older but I remember when they were little how hard it was to pursue creative endeavors. I can honestly say though, I never look back and wish I'd cleaned more! Creativity has to be released...don't keep it bottled up!! You might find your kids can join you...let them take some photos and post them on your blog. Or let them write a couple of sentences...just so they know what you're doing and that it's important to you. School is just around the corner!

I do not believe in "balance". Trying to nail that one down is like grasping the wind. Everything in this world is a mess - including me!

There is always one more demand on my time. One more need from my three little kids for help, or loving or cleaning. And the truth is, I am as needy as they are! I am grasping for my own free time, my own pleasure (hum... flowers, chocolate, a nice chilled Riesling), my own demands to be respected and loved. We are fighting it out in our days. Something/Someone has to give.

I guess my best encouragement is that IT IS TOUGH! You are not imagining it!

But, a living a life of love is worth the price we pay. It is real death to what we want sometimes... and other times when we give, we are surprised by getting a full uninterrupted hour to ourselves! (Ex. After spending 30 min reading knight stories to them, maybe the boys would like to go draw pictures of the swords you were just reading to them about and you could blog!)

Hope my blabber really is encouraging.I, like you, have the need to create something beautiful! And we are! - in our gardens, blogs, and in our kids. It just sure is hard to see it some days.

Hehe, I enjoyed this post a lot! It took me back to my time as a Mom to a school going daughter - AND also remembering how my own mother used to sigh a huge sigh of relief at the end of school holidays when she could drop us (me and two naughty brothers!!) back off at school!

And I agree totally with the others ... dusting and housework? The boys are way more important!

You have hit the nail on the head. I find blogging completely addictive and any spare moment finds me here. I also feel it is a responsibility as if people respond to your blog you are almost duty-bound to reciprocate. But to do a gardening blog - you must garden or you would have nothing to blog about. For me, everything else comes second, third and fourth.

Stay at home mom and wine drinking blogger? That could be me! I have two boys too, 6 and 9, and a garden, and a bathroom that needs cleaning :). I don't know if I have found a balance, I am behind on everything... I am not bored though, and that's the most important thing, so I don't mind being busy. I love your photography, those pictures are just wonderful!

hahaha, your post amused me. There is no balance in your case, just priority, but priority changes with perspective and with time. In my case, i was so diligent the first months of blogging, that i also missed my laundry, cleaning, marketing, eating, etc. It is good i am alone, nothing to fend but myself and my occassional going home on some weekends. But after a while, i lengthened posting frequency and that way i was able to get more comments, which i love most. It actually is not the posting nor the Blotanical picks which i like, but the comments from readers like you. The craze will pass, i am sure. I just hope it is not after the 6 yr old turns 7, haha, take care!

It really is about finding the right balance and that can change daily! Blogging was so much fun the first year that I blogged more and took a pass on exercise. Now I get up have coffee, visit a few blogs and head out the door for a walk. I don't visit as many folks as back then, but, I feel much better physically. Thank you for asking. gail

You have SO many kindred spirits out here on the Blogosphere!!! Perhaps "balance" is just as illusive, as "peaceful" is in the "Thanksgiving" painting from Norman Rockwell (doesn't the 'cook' look a LOT more haggard in REAL LIFE than in that picture - or maybe that's just me?!!)

In my home, my kids and husband (who works for the school district) have the Summer off; so I feel sorry for myself as I drag my tired 'bones' out of bed at 6am to get ready for work - all alone. There is a glimmer of hope, my dear blog buddy! School will be starting soon!!! :D

I'm not quite sure where I wandered into here from (!), but I'm glad I did. I've really enjoyed reading your back posts - and i covert your spotty wellies!!!

At 6 & 8 your boys are old enough to not need entertaining all the time - even though it's tempting to feel you need to do so (or was that just me?!). Let them have time to play and invent their own games - it's great for building their imagination and co-operation skills ....and you can get on with blogging! :)

OMG I know exactly what you mean..balance is such a thing I'm lacking!! This evening I was picking up all the toy cars scattered around the place for the kazillionth time knowing they'd be right back there again as soon as Master Bok (2) entered the room - but I had to do it!

Thought I was already following you. Oh well, I am now. :)Delegate chores! Kids are never too young to learn how to take care of a house. Allow yourself blogging time. Although it can be a bit burdensome, a schedule is a great way to get house chores, gardening, and blogging done. Good luck!

I remember standing at the kitchen counter tole painting (that was the craze then) when my children were young, just to do something I enjoyed. I had to stand at the counter so my little ones would not stick their little hands in the paint and spread it to every other surface in the house. Ahhh! The lengths I went to so I could have a little "me" time! Even though my children are mostly grown now, I still struggle with balancing my time. This summer has been an especially difficult struggle with some family challenges! I have not blogged as much as I've wanted to and I miss it. I think your family needs you but you also must have a little time for yourself each day to fill your cup. I guess the challenge some days is that you have very little time for yourself. If you are a morning person, maybe wake up an hour or so before your children do. Do whatever works for you. Good luck!

Dear Julia, Love this post. As an old gardener,long retired, children grown and gone, I should have more time than you to blog. But there's never enough time. I have had to give up being a perfectionist. That was really hard for me. I do try to clean the toilet before company arrives, but grandchildren, garden, writing, and,yes, blogging take priority in my life. Enjoy the rest of the summer. School will soon be back in session. P. x

These photographs are really stunning! Balance... isn't that like looking for life's meaning? Just always a tad out of reach! Seriously you actually nailed it for me too. My blogging, photography and graphics are a way to immortalize the little moments I work hard at and freeze just to enjoy.

Hear, hear. Your post is timely, as I have posted only once or twice in the past month! :) Blogging for me is an outlet too - not something I *have* to do - but a place I can rest and stretch my stay at home mom mind a bit. I struggle with perfectionism in my life in general, blogging included! You are so right, we can't do it all. And we don't have to, either. :) Hugs to you Julia!

Oh thanks for all the love! After months of illness, back to school nightmares not to mention therapy and large amounts of Vodka consumption ....I'm Back! (I know I have said that before) But I miss this wonderful garden blogging community so much and look forward to catching up with you all! For real this time! Hugs Julia xx