Rumour No. 1: Manchester United are keen on recruiting Bolton’s Mark Davies as a replacement for their aging maestro, Paul Scholes. Davies has produced some eye catching displays of energy and endeavour for The Trotters this season and Sir Alex Ferguson is keen to beat Liverpool, who are also rumoured to be interested, to the 21 year old’s signature.

‘Ha! U Nude Moon’

Rumour No. 2: Everton are to make a £4 million offer for Manchester City’s Nedum Onuoha. David Moyes is a long-term admirer of the versatile defender and will make his move in July.

The Best of the Rest: Manchester United centre back Nemanja Vidic will leave the club in the summer, joining either Real Madrid (possible) or Manchester City (no…just…no) in a £20 million deal.

The sizeable hole left by Vidic in the heart of United’s defence will be filled by (here comes that bloody name again) Simon Kjaer who will arrive at Old Trafford from Palermo for a fee of around £10 million.

Man Utd will also use some of the left-over Vidic cash to fund a £18 million move for Real Madrid misfit Karim Benzema.

Manchester City will make a €35 million bid for Inter Milan full back Maicon during the close season.

Chelsea are planning a ridiculously large £9 million swoop for Newcastle centre back Steven Taylor in the summer.

Barcelona are reportedly budgeting for a huge £60 million move for ‘Cesc Fabergas after the World Cup.

AC Milan hope to sign Arsenal’s William Gallas on a free when his contract runs out at the end of the current season.

West Ham midfielder Valon Behrami looks set to join Palermo in July.

Blackburn Rover’s are to try and pinch Benjani from Sunderland when the striker’s loan deal at The Stadium of Light ends in five months time.

This is just where i always want to be, reading the very hottest of news about the club after my heart. Kjaer and Smalling will be a great addition if Nemanja’s truly going. We should also try to acquire the services of a similar player like prince “ROONEY”, which is in KAREEM “BENZ” BENZEMA. UNITED TILL I DIE, even in HEAVEN, HOPEFULLY.