Brian Wilson [Bb (c3/G)]

Drove downtown in the rain nine-thirty on a Tuesday night
Just to check out the late-night record shop
Call it impulsive, call it compulsive, call it insane
But when I'm surrounded I just can't stop
It's a matter of instinct, it's a matter of conditioning
It's a matter of fact
You can call me Pavlov's dog
Ring a bell and I'll salivate
How'd you like that?
Dr. Landy tell me you're not just a pedagogue
'Coz right now I'm
Chorus:
Lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did
Well I'm lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did
So I'm lying here, just staring at the ceiling tiles
And I'm thinking about what to think about
Just listening and relistening to Smiley Smile
And I'm wondering if this is some kind of creative drought
Because I am
Chorus
And if you want to find me I'll be out in the sandbox
Wondering where the hell all the love has gone
Playing my guitar and building castles in the sun
And singing "Fun, Fun, Fun"
Chorus

I had a dream that I was three hundred pounds
And though I was very heavy
I floated 'til I couldn't see the ground
I floated 'til I couldn't see the ground
Somebody help me, I couldn't see the ground
Somebody help me, I couldn't see the ground
Somebody help me because I'm
Chorus
Drove downtown in the rain nine-thirty on a Tuesday night
Just to check out the late-night record shop
Call it impulsive, call it compulsive, call it insane
But when I'm surrounded I just can't stop

When I Fall [F# (c4/C)]

I look straight in the window, try not to look below
Pretend I'm not up here, try counting sheep
But the sheep seem to shower off this office tower
Nine-point-eight straight down I can't stop my knees.
Chorus:
I wish I could fly
From this building, from this wall
And if I should try,
Would you catch me if I fall?
My hands clench the squeegee, my secular rosary
Hang on to your wallet, hang on to your rings
Can't look below me, or something might throw me
Curse at the windstorms that october brings.
I look in the boardroom; a modern pharaoh's tomb
I'd gladly swap places, if they care to dive
They're lined up at the window, peer down into limbo
They're frightened of jumping, in case they survive.
I wish I could step from this scaffold
Onto soft green pastures, shopping malls, or bed
With my family and my pastor and my grandfather who's dead
Look straight in the mirror, watch it come clearer
I look like a painter, behind all the grease
But paintings creating, and I'm just erasing
A crystal-clear canvas is my masterpiece
Chords:
C: x32010
F?: 1x0010
G: 3x0033
D/F#: 2x0232
Am+G: x02213
Em: 022000
Gsus4/B: x20013
C+G: x32013

You're My Home [F (c5/C)]

INTRO: C C/B Fsus4 F C C/B Fsus4 G
C C/B C7sus4
When you look into my eyes
F Dm7 G
And you see the crazy gypsy in my soul
C C/B C7sus4
It always comes as a surprise
F Dm7 G
When I feel my withered roots begin to grow.
Em7 Em7 F F/E Dm7
Well I never had a place that I could call my very own
F G C C/B Fsus4 G
But that's alright, my love, 'cause you're my home.
When you touch my weary head
And you tell me everything will be alright
You say, "Use my body for your bed.
And my love will keep you warm throughout the night."
Well I never be a stranger and I'll never be alone
F G C C C/B
Wherever we're together, that's my home.
Am G C C C/B
Home can be the Pennsylvania Turnpike,
Am G F
Indiana's early morning dew, oh!
Am G C C C/B
High up in the hills of California,
Am G F
Home is just another word for you.
<<Piano solo - same chords as verses>>
Well I never had a place that I could call my very own.
F G C C/B Fsus4 G
But that's alright, my love, 'cause you're my home.

Baby, Let Me Follow You Down [A (c2/G, hD)]

Baby, let me follow you down
Baby, let me follow you down
Well I'd do anything in this God-almighty world
If you'd just let me follow you down
Can I come home with you?
Baby, can I come home with you?
Well I'd do anything in this God-almighty world
If you'd just let me come home with you
Baby, let me follow you down
Baby, let me follow you down
Well I'd do anything in this God-almighty world
If you'd just let me follow you down
Oh I'd do anything in this God-almighty world
If you'd just let me follow you down

I Did It Again [D]

I think I did it again
I made you believe we're more than just friends
It might seem like a crush
But it doesn't mean that I'm serious
'Coz to lose all my senses
That is just so typically me
Oh baby
Chorus:
I did it again
I played with your heart, got lost in the game, baby
You think I'm in love, I'm sent from above
I'm not that innocent
You see my problem is this
I'm dreaming away, wishing that heroes, they truly exist
I cry, watching the days
Can't you see I'm a fool in so many ways
But to lose all my senses
That is just so typically me
Oh baby
Chorus x 2

Tale O' the Twister [G]

She was a cool blue redhead, she was a virgin vixen
She had the eyes of Lassie, she had the lips of Nixon
Lips like Tricia Nixon
I stole a sideways glance at her continental shelf
And I know she was the devil himself
It's a barstool yawn to a stuttered come-on
It's a dirt road rut ... She said, "Button it, mister"
I shook as she took another look
"Have you ever been hooked," she said
"By the tail of the twister?"
And with a brain like Einstein, and with a form like sin
Up on the roof of Trump Tower
She said, "It's yours on a trade-in" ... Think about it
She was drawn to blood like a lean loan shark
A tornado to a trailer park
It's a long black car, it's power like a czar
It's temporary bliss, it's like kissing your sister
Big wheels and you're feeling real fine
It's a temporary ride on the tail of the twister
Big, big wheels, and you're sitting real high
It's a temporary ride on the tail of the twister
Cars and girls, it's the details of design
Another bait and switch game that hooks me everytime
And it's payday
After sleeping with the devil you'd love to close the book
But you gotta wonder how the baby's gonna look
It's a wide-eyed steal, it's another New Deal
It's the whore before the cart
My head is starting to blister
She said, "You could be the envy of everyone you envy"
It's the tail
It's a long black car, it's power like a czar
It's a temporary kiss, my head is starting to blister
I got took and she took another look
"Have you even been hooked," she said
"By the tail of the twister?"

Violent Blue [G (c5/G) | C]

Hey, don't I know you from some other life?
You were wide-eyed and green and a little bit taller
And you didn't look away when spoken to
Do you still take two sugars? you seem a little tense
And I can't help but notice how hard you appear
When I look into your eyes of violent blue
Was it sudden? was it clean?
Were there a lot of shades in between?
Step away
Let off
Throw it down
And lose yourself
Hey, are you in there? or don't you recall
When the perfume of belief was all we needed
It was all we needed to set our sights
So when did you throw out the rest of the world
Deaf from the din of your self-righteous babble?
I think you've been blinded by your own light
Was it hatred? was it pride?
Or did you just have a lot to hide?
Come away
Throw down
Let it burn
And lose yourself

Passion to ashes
To smouldering ruins
Bathed in your violent ...
Are you in there?
Are you in there?
Am I boring you? I could say more
We were headed for somewhere
But that was before you traded in your peace sign for a finger
And I don't believe that's the way you were raised
Or the cards you were dealt, or a poor self-image
I think you love yourself too much
You want to rule some sovereign state?
Uou want to smother in all that hate?
Get away
Lay down
Strip it off
And lose yourself

The Long Black Veil [G]

Ten years ago on a cold dark night
There was someone killed, 'neath the town hall light
Just a few at the scene, and they all did agree
That the man who ran looked a lot like me
The judge said son, what's your alibi?
If you were somewhere else, then you won't have to die
I spoke not a word, though it meant my life
For I'd been in the arms of my best friend's wife
Chorus:
She walks these hills in a long black veil
She visits my grave when the night winds wail
Nobody knows, nobody sees
Nobody knows but me
The scaffold's high and eternity's near
She stands in the crowd and sheds not a tear
But sometimes at night, where the cold wind moans
In a long black veil, she cries all over my bones
Chorus

Crash Into Me [A]

E||-----0-0-0-0----0-0-0----0--0-0-0-0------0-0-0----0-0-0-0----0-0-0-----0--0-0-0-0-----0-0-0--||
B||-----5-5-5-5----5-5-5----5--5-5-5-5------5-5-5----5-5-5-5----5-5-5-----5--5-5-5-5-----5-5-5--||
G||-----4-4-4-4----4-4-4----4--4-4-4-4------4-4-4----4-4-4-4----4-4-4-----4--4-4-4-4-----4-4-4--||
D||-----2-2-2-2----2-2-2----2--2-2-2-2---------------2-2-2-2----2-2-2-----2--2-2-2-2-----2-2-2--||
A||---4----------0-------2------------------------------------0--------2------------------------||
e||---------------------------------------0--------4----------------------------------0---------||
E||-------0------------------------------------0-----------||
B||-------5------------------------------------0-------3---||
G||-------4------------------------------------1-------2---||
D||--------------------------------------------2-------0---||
A||-----4--------------------------0-----2-----2-------X---||
e||--------------------------4-----------------0-------2---||
You've got your ball, you've got your chain
Tied to me tight, tie me up again
Who's got their claws in you, my friend?
Into your heart I'll beat again
Sweet like candy to my soul
Sweet you rock, and sweet you roll
Lost for you, I'm so lost for you
Oh, and you come crash into me
And I come into you
And I come into you
In a boy's dream
In a boy's dream
Touch your lips just so I know
Oh, in your eyes, love, it glows so
I'm bare-boned and crazy, for you
Oh, and you come crash into me, yeah
Baby, and I come into you
In a boy's dream
In a boy's dream

Oh, if I've gone overboard
Then I'm begging you to forgive me, oh, in my haste
When I'm holding you so, girl, close to me
When you come crash into me, yeah
Baby, and I come into you
Oh, hike up your skirt a little more
And show the world to me
Hike up your skirt a little more
Show your world to me
In a boy's dream
In a boy's dream
Oh, I watch you there through the window and I stare
At you, wear nothing, but you wear it so well
Tied up and twisted, the way I'd like to be
For you, for me, come crash into me, baby
Come crash into me, baby
Crash into me
Crash into me
Crash into me
Ohhhh
I'm the king of the castle,
You're the dirty rascal, crash into me
Please crash into me, baby
Oh yes, I see the waves come and crash into me
Oh yes, I see the waves come and crash into me
Crash into me
Crash into me, baby

Under the Sea [CsAm]

The seaweed is always greener
In somebody else's lake
You dream about going up there
But that is a big mistake
Just look at the world around you
Right here on the ocean floor
Such wonderful things surround you
What more is you lookin' for?
Under the sea, under the sea
Darling it's better down where it's wetter
Take it from me
Up on the shore they work all day
Out in the sun they slave away
While we're devoting full time to floating
Under the sea
Down here all the fish is happy
As off through the waves they roll
The fish on the land ain't happy
They sad 'cause they in the bowl
But fish in the bowl is lucky
They in for a worser fate
One day when the boss get hungry
Guess who goin' be on the plate?
Under the sea, under the sea
Nobody beat us, fry us and eat us in fricasee
We what the land folks loves to cook
Under the sea we off the hook
We've got no troubles, life is the bubbles
Under the sea, under the sea
Since life is sweet here, we got the beat here, naturally
Even the sturgeon and the ray
They get the urge and start to play
We've got the spirit, you've got to hear it
Under the sea
The lute play the flute
The carp play the harp
The plaice play the bass and they soundin' sharp
The bass play the brass
The chub play the tub
The fluke is the duke of soul
The ray he can play, the lings on the strings
The trout rocking out
The blackfish she sings
The smelt and the sprat, they know where it's at
And oh, that blowfish blow
Under the sea, under the sea
When the sardine begin the beguine, it's music to me
What do they got, a lot of sand?
We've got a hot crustacean band
Each little clam here know how to jam here, under the sea
Each little slug here cutting a rug here, under the sea
Each little snail here know how to wail here
That's why it's hotter under the water
Yeah, we in luck here down under the muck here
Under the sea

The Other End of the Telescope [FsBb (CsF)]

Shall we agree that just this once I'm gonna change my life
Until it's just as tiny or important as you like
And in time we won't even recall that we spoke
Words that turned out to be as big as smoke
As smoke that disappears in the air
There's always something that's smoldering somewhere
Chorus:
I know it don't make a difference to you
But, oh, it sure made a difference to me
You'll see me off in the distance I hope
At the other end, at the other end of the telescope
The promise of indulgence in my confidential voice
Approached immortal danger but you'll never know how close
Then down the hall I overheard such a heavenly choir
They interrupted my evil designs
One day you're up in the clouds
The next thing you're down with the Sweet Adelines
Chorus

Lie down, baby, now don't say a word
There, there, baby, your vision is blurred
Your head is so sore from all of that thinking
I don't want to hurt you now
But I think you're shrinking
You're half-naked ambition and you're half out of your wits
Or several tiny fractions that this portrait still omits
And it's so hard to pick the receiver up when I call
I never noticed you could be so small
The answer was under your nose
But the question never arose
Chorus 2:
I know it don't make a difference to you
But, oh, it sure made a difference to me
Cause late in the evening as I sit here moping
With a bamboo needle on a shellac of Chopin
And the cast-iron heart that you failed to tear open
At the other end, at the other end of the telescope

Green Pastures [A]

Troubles and trials often betray those
On in the weary body to stray
But we shall walk beside the still waters
With the Good Shepherd leading The Way
Those who have strayed were sought by The Master
He who once gave His life for the sheep
Out on the mountain still He is searching
Bringing them in forever to keep
Going up home to live in green pastures
Where we shall live and die never more
Even The Lord will be in that number
When we shall reach that Heavenly Shore
We will not heed the voice of the stranger
For he would lead us to despair
Following on with Jesus our savior
We shall all reach that country so fair
Going up home to live in green pastures
Where we shall live and die never more
Even The Lord will be in that number
When we shall reach that Heavenly Shore

Best of You [EsC#m]

I've got another confession to make
I'm your fool
Everyone's got their chains to break
Holdin' you
Were you born to resist or be abused?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Are you gone and onto someone new?
I needed somewhere to hang my head
Without your noose
You gave me something that I didn't have
But had no use
I was too weak to give in
Too strong to lose
My heart is under arrest again
But I break loose
My head is giving me life or death
But I can't choose
I swear I'll never give in
I refuse
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must
Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Oh...

Oh...Oh...Oh...Oh...
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
The life, the love you'd die to heal
The hope that starts the broken hearts
You trust, you must
Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
I've got another confession my friend
I'm no fool
I'm getting tired of starting again
Somewhere new
Were you born to resist or be abused?
I swear I'll never give in
I refuse
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must
Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Oh...

Wichita [C | C (c5/G) | Ab (c1/G)]

She went back to Wichita
She went back to her Ma and Pa
Reckon I saw her next to my truck
Pumpin' gas with the car packed up
We talked as neighbors will,
That're waiting for their tanks to fill
We talked about nothing -- how it might snow
How far she had to go
Chorus:
Going back where the grass grows tall
And the fields burn in the fall
You can still hear the night birds call
Back in Wichita
She came in '85
She came here as a July bride
But it never got easy, never got rich
Ain't got much but what she came here with
Good times have all been spent
She ain't broken but she's badly bent
There's nothing she wants here nothing that shines
She made up her mind
Chorus
She says for all my time
Well I ain't got much to show
You can tell that man of mine
And anyone who wants to know
Chorus

Think About Your Troubles [DsA]

/ A Aadd9 / / D D9 / / G Gadd9 / / C Cadd9C /
Sit beside the breakfast table
Think about your troubles
Pour yourself a cup of tea
Then think about the bubbles
You can take your teardrops
And drop 'em in a teacup
Take them down to the riverside
And throw them over the side
To be swept up by a current
Then taken to the ocean
To be eaten by some fishes
Who were eaten by some fishes
And swallowed by a whale
Who grew so old
He decomposed, doo, doo, doo
... / A Aadd9 / / / /
He died and left his body
To the bottom of the ocean
Now everybody knows
That when a body decomposes
The basic elements
Are given back to the ocean
And the sea does what it oughta
And soon there's salty water
Not too good for drinking
'Cause it tastes just like a teardrop
So they run it through a filter
And it comes out from a faucet
And it pours into a teapot
Which is just about to bubble
Now think about your troubles, now

Further Up & Further In [G]

"Further up and further in"
Came the cry upon the wind
Leave the Shadowland so dim
Behind you my friend
Through a doorway in the air
A place for you has been prepared
Did a lion meet you there my friend?
When Father Time awakes and stars fall from the sky
We'll leave this fallen world behind us
We'll swim the waterfall and by the lion's mane
Take what adventure there may find us
Further up and further in
Running faster than the wind
Through a land that will not end or begin

Sam Hall [C]

Well, my name it is Sam Hall, Sam Hall.
Yes, my name it is Sam Hall; it is Sam Hall.
My name it is Sam Hall an' I hate you, one and all.
An' I hate you, one and all:
Damn your eyes.
I killed a man, they said; so they said.
I killed a man, they said; so they said.
I killed a man, they said an' I smashed in his head.
An' I left him layin' dead,
Damn his eyes.
But a-swingin', I must go; I must go.
A-swingin', I must go; I must go.
A-swingin', I must go while you critters down below,
Yell up: "Sam, I told you so."
Well, damn your eyes!
I saw Molly in the crowd; in the crowd.
I saw Molly in the crowd; in the crowd.
I saw Molly in the crowd an' I hollered, right out loud:
"Hey there Molly, ain't you proud?
"Damn your eyes."
Then the Sherriff, he came to; he came to.
Ah, yeah, the Sherriff, he came to; he came to.
The Sherriff, he come to an he said: "Sam, how are you?"
An I said: "Well, Sherriff, how are you,
"Damn your eyes."
My name is Samuel, Samuel.
My name is Samuel, Samuel.
My name is Samuel, an' I'll see you all in hell.
An' I'll see you all in hell,
Damn your eyes.

Charlie on the ST Train

Let me tell you of the story
Of a man named Charlie
On a tragic and fateful day
He put ten bucks in his pocket,
Kissed his wife and family
Went to ride on Sound Transit's train
Charlie handed in his money
At the Everett station
And he changed for Tacoma's train
When he got there the conductor told him,
"One more dollar,"
Charlie couldn't get off that train
Chorus:
Did he ever return,
No he never returned
And his fate is still unlearn'd
He may ride forever
Through the streets of Seattle
He's the man who never returned
Now all night long
Charlie rides through the stations
Saying, "What will become of me?
How can I afford to see
My sister in Auburn
Or my cousin at the University?"
Charlie's wife goes down
To the Sumner station
Every day at quarter past two
And through the open window
She hands Charlie a sandwich
As the train comes rumblin' through
Now you citizens of Washington,
If you think it's a scandal
How the people have to pay and pay
Fight the fare increase
Vote for Dino Rossi!
To get Charlie off the ST Train
Chorus:
Or else he'll never return,
No he'll never return
And his fate will be unlearned
He may ride forever
Through the streets of Seattle
He's the man (Who's the man)
He's the man who never returned
He's the man (Oh, the man)
He's the man who never returned
He's the man who never returned

I Do [c3/G]

GaddD F#m susB2 Em C
When I'm done with thinking, then I'm done with you
And when I'm done with crying, then I'm done with you
When I feel so tired, well then I'm done with you
Yeah everybody feels this way sometimes
Everybody feels this way
D GaddD
And I do
You can't hear it, but I do
You can't hear it, but I do
Am C Am C
You're trying to convince me what I've done's not right
And I get so frustrated, I stay up every night
You ask me for an answer, and I'm so tired and I'm up in the air
Everybody feels this way sometimes
Everybody feels this way
And I do
You can't hear it, but I do
Am C
You can't hear it, but I'm feeling this way
Am C
just because you say

GaddD F#m susB2
I will be ignored, and I will be denied
Em C
And I could be erased, I could be brushed aside
Am C
And I will get scared, I will get shoved down,
D D7
but I feel like I do because you push me around
I'm starting to ignore you, now I doubted you so long
I'm tired of overthinking, I know you don't belong
Now I'm asking questions, no one pushes me around
Now everybody feels this way sometimes
Everybody feels this way
And I do
You can't hear it, but I do
You don't seem angry but I do
Am C Am C
I do
I I I do
I do

Beautiful, Scandalous, Night [G]

Go on up to the mountain of mercy
To the crimson perpetual tide
Kneel down on the shore
Be thirsty no more
Go under and be purified
Follow Christ to the holy mountain
Sinner sorry and wrecked by the fall
Cleanse your heart and your soul
In the fountain that flows
For you and for me and for all
Chorus:
At the wonderful, tragic, mysterious tree
On that beautiful scandalous night you and me
Were atoned by His blood and forever washed white
On that beautiful, scandalous night

On the hillside you will be delivered
At the foot of the cross justified
And your spirit restored
By the river that pours
From our blessed Savior's side
Chorus
You carried the sin of mankind on Your back
And the sky went black
Go on up to the mountain of mercy
To the crimson perpetual tide
Kneel down on the shore
Be thirsty no more
Go under and be purified
Chorus
On that beautiful, scandalous night
On that beautiful, scandalous night
Miraculous night

Lust / Flesh / Eyes / Pride of Life [ D | G ]

Well, I feel like I have to feel
Something good all of the time
With most of life I cannot deal
But a good feeling I can feel
Even though it may not be real
And if a person, place or thing can deliver
I will quiver with delight
But will it last me for all my life
Or just one more lonely night
The lust, the flesh, the eyes, and the pride of life
Drain the life right out of me
Well, I see something and I want it, Bam!
Right now, no questions asked
Don't worry how much it costs me now or later
I want it and I want it fast
I'll go to any length
Sacrifice all that I already have, and all that I might get
Just to get something more that I don't need
And Lord, please don't ask me what for
The lust, the flesh, the eyes, and the pride of life
Drain the life right out of me
And I love when folks look right at me
And what I'm doing, or I have done
And lay it on about how groovy I am
And that I'm looking grand
And every single word
Makes me think I'll live forever, never knowing
That they probably won't remember what they said tomorrow
Tomorrow I could be dead
The lust, the flesh, the eyes, and the pride of life
Drain the life right out of me

The Fortunate Sons [GsDm]

Dm C
Blood, thunder and fear flowing
Dm
I cry when I need you
C Dm
and march when I'm told where to go
C
Lessons I know
Dm C Dm
Is it the way of a soldier to offer his soul?
C Am Dm F
Bang the drum slowly for the fortunate son
Em G Dm F Em G Dm
Said and done A fortunate son
Mud, ankles and bones
covered I pray when I need to
and sleep when I don't want to know
Letters from home
clutched in the hands of my comrades
My brothers, my own
Bang the drum slowly for the fortunate sons
I am one, the fortunate son
F Em C G Dm
(answers)
I feel the heat from my side
crucified, deep and wide
I could be saving a life
Couldn't I?

Free Bird [G]

If I leave here tomorrow
Would you still remember me
For I must be travelling on now
'Coz there's too many places I must see
If I stay here with you girl
Things just wouldn't be the same
'Coz I'm as free as a bird now
And this bird you cannot change
Bye bye it's been sweet love
Though this feeling I can't change
Please don't take it so badly
'Coz Lord knows I'm to blame
But if I stay here with you girl
Things just couldn't be the same
'Coz I'm as free as a bird now
And this bird you cannot change
And the bird you cannot change
And this bird you cannot change
Lord knows I can't change
Lord help me, I can't change
Oh, I can't change
Lord help me, I can't change
Fly, free bird

Heart of Gold [GsEm]

Em7 D Em
e |--------0---0---0---0---0---0--|-2----2---0-----------------|
B |--------3---3---3---3---3---3--|-3----3---0-----------------|
G |--------0---0---0---0---0---0--|-2----2---0-----------------|
D |--------2---2---2---2---2---2--|-0----0---2------------0h2--|
A |--------2---2---2---2---2---2--|----------2-------0h2---h2--|
E |-(0)-0--0---0---0---0---0---0--|----------0-----------------|
harmonica solo:
Em C D G (3x)
Em C D G
I want to live, I want to give
Em C D G
I've been a miner for a heart of gold
Em C D G
It's these expressions I never give
Chorus:
Em7 G
That keep me searching for a heart of gold
C Am G
And I'm getting old
Em7 G
That keep me searching for a heart of gold
C Am G
And I'm getting old
I've been to Hollywood, I've been to Redwood
I've crossed the ocean for a heart of gold
I've been in my mind, it's such a fine line
Chorus
Em D Em
Keep me searching for a heart of gold
Em D Em
You keep me searching and I'm getting old
Em D Em
Keep me searching for a heart of gold
Em G
I've been a miner for a heart of gold

You can end with this little riff:
Am G
e|--------------3------------------------|
B|--------------------0------------------|
G|--------------0------------------------|
D|--------------0------------------------|
A|--0--3--2--0--2------------------------|
E|--------------3------------------------|

The Beast In Me [D# (c1/D)]

The beast in me
Is caged by frail and fragile bars
Restless by day
And by night rants and rages at the stars
God help the beast in me
The beast in me
Has had to learn to live with pain
And how to shelter from the rain
And in the twinkling of an eye
Might have to be restrained
God help the beast in me
Sometimes it tries to kid me
That it's just a teddy bear
And even somehow manage to vanish in the air
And that is when I must beware
Of the beast in me
That everybody knows
They've seen him out dressed in my clothes
Patently unclear
If it's New York or New Year
God help the beast in me
The beast in me

Best Week Ever [G]

Fred went down to the auditor
He filed for office
He's runnin' for Senate this year
Then he met with lawyers and he
Pled guilty to a crime
Fred had the best week ever
Fred's on the campaign trail
Twenty thousand in the hole
Payin' and servin' for his crime
While he is ringin' doorbells
He'll be pickin' up trash
Fred had the best week ever
Fred must have something
Something up his sleeve
That makes him think he will win
... that people will trust him
... that people will vote for him
Fred had the best week ever

Christine, Christine, Christine [D]

Alone I can't do anything
I don't know what I'll do
Christine, you are my everything
It's all up to you
Christine, Christine, Christine
Christine, I don't have much
But what I have is yours
You'll use it better than I would
I'm totally assured
You know me better than I do
You know just what I need
If it were left up to me I'd be
Driven by pure greed
I quit my job last week, Christine
I know I'll be OK
You'll keep me fed and clothed, my dear
Drive all my fears away
You buy me much more every year
You've got the cash to spend
Next year you'll run out
But you can worry 'bout it then
I have no reason to doubt you
I have no questions to ask
What you tell me adds up nicely
Because you taught me with New Math
Protect me from myself, Christine
Don't let me drive a car
Clog up the roads and force me
To take trains to get too far
Don't let me gamble all I have
Unless it's where you choose
Don't let me smoke, don't let me not
Give your campaign my dues

Eat American [G]

Some people like all kinds of cheese
Some people like Italian
Some even like Chinese
Well I'm not here to tell you what kind of food to prefer
But if you are American
It's your duty, spread the word:
Eat American
Fried chicken, cream of corn
Eat American
From the day that you are born
So our farmers can compete
You are what you eat
Eat American
Chicago deep dish pizza
Sweet corn bread and beans
Baked or smashed potatoes
And all potatoes in between
Potato chips, potato puffs
Pass the freedom fries
With lots of ketchup to symbolize
The blood of the men who died
To all the pregnant women
Eat until you're filled
To make your kids Americans
I say, grill, grill baby grill
Some people mix their foods
Each dish is a buffet
Sweet and sour, bitter, hot
It's not the American way
Well I don't want any spicy food
Mr. Waiter, please
'Cause I've got to honor the memories
Of the men who gave that food to me
Some pepole like all kinds of cheese
Some people like Italian
Some even like Chinese

Flower Man [D]

Flower man on the corner
You saved my life again
I screwed up, and I'm in a rush
Have you got change for a ten?
Sometimes you don't speak English
Sometimes you don't dress well
And your flowers aren't the best around
But right now you've got the most beautiful flowers in town
These flowers that you sold to me
Five dollars; sometimes, more
Are nothing compared to the look that I see
When Jennifer opens the door
Flower man on the corner
I've said all that can be said
I'm just glad, when I came to your corner
That the traffic light turned red

GOP Debate Song [C]

The Grand Old Party's looking for
Somebody who can lead
Someone who is electable
And adheres to our creed
Some say the group is not diverse
They're white, they're men, but wait:
The Dems have just one candidate;
Republicans have eight
Rudy's leading all the polls
But can he win the base?
Mitt changed on abortion
Hist'ry he can't erase
Ron Paul would end the FDA
And that is just a start
Fred has just begun to run
But sure does look the part
Hunter tells us what to do
In foreign policy debates
Huckabee's compassionate
And lost a lot of weight
Tancredo says "let's build a fence"
Across the whole southwest
McCain is loved by many
And hated by the rest
We don't know who we're voting for
We don't know who will win
That's why we use YouTube to ask
Our questions of these men
Time is short, we're voting soon
And I just thought I'd mention
If we don't reach consensus, then
We'll decide at convention

George Bush is Hitler [G]

George Bush is Hitler
He killed six million Jews
George Bush is Hitler
He wants to kill me and you
George Bush is Hitler
Hey gypsies, you are next
Everybody knows
George Bush is Hitler
Bush is Big Brother
He watches you all day
Bush is Big Brother
He hears everything you say
Bush is Big Brother
He changed the words to this song
Everybody knows
Bush is Big Brother
Bush is Bin Laden
He lives in Afghanistan
Bush is Bin Laden
He can pilot, but he can't land
Bush is Bin Laden
He believes in God
Everybody knows
Bush is Bin Laden
Bush stole our freedom
We can't protest his ways
Bush stole our freedom
Armed guards make us obey
Bush stole our freedom
I live in an internment camp
And everybody knows
Bush stole our freedom

Her Innocence

She played like a child
She ruled like a princess
She ran like the wind
She loved like a child
She trusted him
He took it all away
He took her smile
And her innocence
And all I ask
When I look in her eyes
Is that I can see
Her innocence
And all she asks
Is that he can't hurt no one else
She can't have that
Her innocence

I Hate You [G]

I hate you
You are nothing like me
I hate you
We can never agree
I hate you
We have different beliefs
And that's reason enough
I hate you
If not for you we'd all be fine
All problems would be solved
It really ought to be a crime
For you to be involved
You threaten what I want to have
Coz you want something else
You cause all of my problems
You destroy my sense of self
Someday I pray the world can see
That you are not at all like me
We need to always all agree
To be forever truly free
You don't have to change all you are
Just all that's meaningful
I'll tolerate you just as soon as
You are tolerable
"There are ... two methods of removing the causes of faction: the one, by destroying the liberty which is essential to its existence; the other, by giving to every citizen the same opinions, the same passions, and the same interests."
http://federali.st/10#p4

Just Getting Started [G]

I open my eyes, I see the world
I look up, and I see my girl
She is my mama, she takes good care of me
I have a lot to do, I have a lot to see
And I feel like I'm just getting started
I'm riding my bike out in the street
Waving at neighbors that I meet
I can do a lot, I'm more grown up than I seem
I have a lot to think, I have a lot to dream
And I feel like I'm just getting started
I'm walking across the campus green
I'm wearing my cap and gown and jeans
I've learned to learn, To my ownself be true
I have a lot to be, I have a lot to choose
And I feel like I'm just getting started
Yeah, I feel like I'm just getting started
I drive my family up the hill
I don't want to stop again, but I will
We're going camping, even though my back won't bend
I have a lot to save, I have a lot to spend
And I feel like I'm just getting started
Yeah, I feel like I'm just getting started
I open my eyes, I see the world
I look up, and I see my girl
She is my daughter, she takes good care of me
I have a lot to do, I have a lot to see
And I feel like I'm just getting started
Yeah, I feel like I'm just getting started

KLB [G]

(Props to nocarrier and Schwern and the rest of the #perl regulars)
Hanging out late one night
By the monitor's silv'ry light
We chat about the weather, perl, and things
But our peaceful time, it won't last long
'Coz some loser comes along
"I need to get the length of a string"
Chorus:
Why don't you read the man pages, boy?
You're a known lazy bastard
You're really lacking clue
Refuse to look things up
Then you ask us what to do
'Coz you're a known lazy bastard
I swear you'll never change
You'll never read a book
And you'll always pass the blame
We tell him to look it up
We point him over to perlfunc
We give him all the pointers, then we sigh
'Coz he's got a deadline for his class
He wants us to save his ass
And hoping that he'll leave, we oblige
Chorus

You blame it on your parents
You blame it on society
You blame it on your public school teachers
But don't you dare put blame on me
It ain't over, it never ends
He'll be back, and he'll bring his friends
They'll ask how to change one line in a file
Why don't the year follow Y2K?
How can i get the size of an array?
Can you tell me how to break out of a while?
Chorus

Leap of Faith [A]

Stepping outside, leap of faith
Arms to hold is where we're safe
And nothing left to stand on
Nothing left to grasp
Can it be we're here ourselves
I almost fear we're someone else
But I feel your breath
I feel your touch
And oh, I know it's magic
Exploring our new world
I do not think that it's tragic
Just be this boy and girl
Smile, make my whole world clean
Stare into your eyes of green
This fantasy is not a dream
A dream can't be this good
Glassy waves of heat erupt
Drink it in and take the cup
And swallow down the torrent rain
The elements begin
And oh, this is the fate we hold
We can't escape the past
Our wages in a ring of gold
The covenant will last

When all that's left is known to me
And nothing remains mystery
I don't think I will want to be
Around here anymore
And oh, I know it's tragic
If I skip to the end
I will not miss the magic
Of meeting my new friend
Stepping outside, leap of faith
Arms to hold is where we're safe
And nothing left to stand on
Nothing left to grasp
It's all I've ever wanted
This life without a net
Someday rest will come to us
Praise God it's not here yet

Liberty Man [C]

I am alive
I have my freedom
I work my hands to the bone
And I, I build a home
Chorus:
Don't take what I have what I built away from me
Don't deny that I am a man with liberty
Don't stomp on a life that was created to make choices
To live free
I have my land
But you have power
And you will take what I have
Because you can
Chorus
Many cry out, "Power to the people"
I am a person,. so where is mine?
I watch my back
I watch my brother's
And I don't need to be told what to do
Chorus

Lines and Squares

Words by A.A. Milne
Whenever I walk in a London street,
I'm ever so careful to watch my feet;
And I keep in the squares,
And the masses of bears,
Who wait at the corners all ready to eat
The sillies who tread on the lines of the street
Go back to their lairs,
And I say to them, "Bears,
Just look how I'm walking in all the squares!"
Chorus:
If you step on a line the bears will mind
They're gonna try to eat you every time
But if you walk in the squares, then they won't care
And you don't have to be afraid of bears
And the little bears growl to each other, "He's mine,
As soon as he's silly and steps on a line."
And some of the bigger bears try to pretend
That they came round the corner to look for a friend;
And they try to pretend that nobody cares
Whether you walk on the lines or squares.
But only the sillies believe their talk;
It's ever so portant how you walk.
And it's ever so jolly to call out, "Bears,
Just watch me walking in all the squares!"
Don't step on the lines
Just walk in the squares

My Son [G]

You've got some catching up to do
We've had this family for awhile
Along comes someone new
We're happy just to meet you
And I'll do my best to teach you
Everything you need to fit right in
Chorus:
I'll try to get the best of you
As you watch what I say and do
I love you truly my son
I've never had a son before
A little version of your dad
And someday so much more
I've got good parts and bad parts
I pray you got my best parts
And I'm sorry for the rest
Chorus
I will fail you, a lot
I'll get angry, I'll be thoughtless
And humble I am not
But my love for you will grow
More than you could ever know
Until you have one of your own
Chorus
i'll do my best to say and do what i say i'll do
don't take my word

New Year [G]

It's a new year
And it's been a long time
It's been a long time since last year
It's been a whole year
Well, it gets a guy to thinking
About the time that passes by
Lots of time in one year
365 and 1/4 days
And I can't go back
I can't go back to last year
'Coz there's one whole year between us
365 days
Or maybe 366
I can't remember
It's been along year
12 months
365 days
8,760 hours
525,600 minutes
31,536,000 seconds
It's been a long year
And it's been a long time
It's been a long time
It's been a long time
It's been a long time
It's been a long time since last year
It's been a long year

Osama Bin Laden, You Ruined My Birthday [A]

I was born in September '64
We started off each school year with my name up on the door
Sang happy birthday to me, ate cake and drank some juice
I've looked forward to the eleventh every year since my youth
chorus:
Osama Bin Laden, you ruined my birthday
I don't get no presents, just looks of dismay
Lots of people died; I'm not just thinking of myself
But couldn't you have chosen the 10th or the 12th?
My officemates they used to throw a party every year
Now we share a silent moment; ladies shed a tear
Remember all the victims, and lift up a glass
But I'd rather get a birthday spanking on my ass
chorus
They say he tried to collapse our entire economy
He tried but failed to bring the mighty Wall Street to its knees
But he bankrupted me, and I'm still broke today:
I used to earn my keep selling my presents on ebay
chorus

Perl, in a Nutshell [F (c3/D) ]

Parody of "Life, in a Nutshell" by Barenaked Ladies
D G/F# G :||
D A
When I started out
Bm G
I used to use it only for my CGIs
Now I've no doubt
And I'm finally beginning now to realize
It's like a knife, and I'm like a Swiss
When we're solving problems we never miss, and still
It's never enough, it's never enough
F#
It's never enough, but
Bridge:
G A D G/F# G
I don't tend to worry about what other language people say
And I'm learning that there is a whole lot more than just one way
Call me crazy, but it really doesn't matter
Bm A6
All that matters to me is Perl
Chorus:
D G/F# G A Bm
Perl 5, in a nutshell
A6 G A D G/F# G
No way is the right way to do it
A Bm A6
It's so easy to write, but
G A Bm A6 G#m7 G
It's not always easy to read
Bm A6 G#m7 G
To read

I memorized all the special variables there in the docs
I ruined my eyes reading every manpage on my colo box
I write a module, I write a test
When I code extremely I don't get stressed and still
It's never enough, it's never enough
No, it's never enough, so
Bridge
Chorus
Em A
Well I fell down
Bm G
With nothing there to catch me from falling
Em A
Then Perl came 'round
D D/C# G/B A7sus G
And only its eclecticness stopped me from losing my job, now
A
I'm OK
That's why
Chorus
Bridge

Superdelegate [D]

Chorus:
Superdelegate, I don't know you, but I love you
Superdelegate, you make me feel warm inside
Superdelegate, I didn't vote for you
But I really think you're super, Superdelegate
We can't trust ourselves to choose
'Coz we've got so much to lose
So we ask you, please
Protect us from ourselves
Chorus
I will use my voice
I will state my choice
I will stand up and be counted
But not as much as you
Chorus

Tim McCarver Blues [G]

I used to love baseball, I watched it all the time
Yes, I used to love baseball, I watched it all the time
Well, that was all before Tim McCarver got on my mind
I can't swallow food, when I hear his voice
I can't keep my dinner down, when I'm hearing his voice
And when the playoffs come 'round, I ain't even got no choice
Let me break it down
A mitt ain't like a glove
A home run scores a run
Mt. Everest don't erupt
And I ain't havin' fun
I see FOX on the schedule
It feels my heart with dread
With every word he says
My brain leaks out my head
I wish I could hear Joe Morgan instead
Nah, I'm just kiddin' baby
I'll do somethin' drastic, you just wait and see
Yeah, I'll do somethin' drastic, you just wait and see
I'm gonna teach myself Spanish, so I can use the SAP
Oh baby, I got the Tim McCarver Blues

You Forgot Ron Paul [A]

I saw you on the news last night
You were talkin' bout all these dudes
And about how many people liked them
And their fancy shoes
Well my guy ain't got shoes like theirs
He ain't wealthy, he ain't got great hair
But my guy loves liberty
He wants the best for you and me
Chorus:
You forgot Ron Paul
You did it again
You've hated him since I don't know when
You leave him out most every time
I cannot think of a worse crime
Oh, it is so plain to see
You hate democracy
You forgot Ron Paul

Ron Paul, he set a one-day record
For raising funds
Ron Paul delivers babies
Gives smiles to everyone
He wins every online poll
And many straw polls too
Sure they don't mean a thing
But tell me, what other polls do?
Chorus
I didn't hear the whole news story
I caught it in the middle
But I can only assume ...
(that)
Chorus

You're Clueless [G]

You're no different from the rest of us
You've got your great big plans
And baby, just like the rest of us
You really just don't understand
No no no no no no no no
Chorus:
You're clueless, you're clueless
You don't know anything
You're clueless, you're clueless
You can't fly, you ain't got wings
You're clueless, you're clueless
I'll say it 'till my face turns blue
You're clueless, you're clueless
Get help before it all falls through
Don't look to me for the answers
'Coz baby, I am clueless too
I'm just as vacuous as the next guy
But I'm not as bad as you
I'm just kidding, baby, please, oh no, but
Chorus
You can say how smart you are
Show me your diplomas
But until you see beyond the stars
Your brain is in a coma
Are you different from the rest of us?
Do you always get straight A's?
Do you always signal your lane change?
Did you find a cure for AIDS?
I don't think so, just admit it, baby
Chorus
I ain't got no clue
Neither do you
Chorus

A Few Words in Defense of Our Liberals [D]

I'd like to say a few words
In defense of our liberals
Our liberals ain't bad, nor are they mean
The liberal leaders they have
While they are pretty bad
Are hardly the worst this poor world has seen
Let's turn history's pages, shall we?
Take Mao, for example
Why, within the first few years of him
He had criminalized free speech
Ruled from the side of his Forbidden City swimming pool
And presided over the executions of millions of people
A few years later
He outlawed private food production, and millions more died
That's like, single-payer agriculture, or something
That's not a very good example right now, is it?
But here's one
The Eastern European Soviet occupation
Put people in a terrible position
I don't even like to think about it
Well, sometimes I like to think about it
Just a few words in defense of our liberals
Whose time at the top
Could be coming to an end
Now we don't want their love
And respect for their views is out of the question
But in times like these
We sure could use a friend
Hitler
Stalin
Liberals who need no introduction
Fidel Castro, that's right
Liberals think he's so great
Well he took control of Cuba
He jailed and killed thousands of people
Just for speaking their mind
Or being suspected of having one
But hey man, now Cubans are equal
And desperate
A president once said,
"A man has a property in his opinions"
Now you are required to agree to give your property to someone else
It's patriotic in fact, and compassionate
And if you don't play along?
There's the government men with the guns
That's what the Second Amendment is for, isn't it?
That's what it used to be for
The end of socialism is messy at best
And this plunderous state is ending
Like all the rest
Like French automobiles, engulfed on the streets
We're engulfed in the land of the brave
And the home of the free
Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.
Basic progression is:
D D7 G G7 D D7 E A
D D7 G G7 D E A D
Then the "verse" is:
G G7 D D7
And at the end of the verse goes back to:
E A
The bridge goes something like:
D G D
D Bm A
D G D
D Bm A D B
And then the final verse is basically
E E7 A A7 B C#m F#m B
E E7 A A7 B C#m F#m B E
A B E

Beyond the Veil [CsAm]

The fiber of this life is paper thin
A spider's web can be torn by a shift in the wind
And the mirror pool is shattered when you toss a pebble in
CHORUS:
And I'm not afraid to admit that I'm afraid
Bewildered by the great and the terrible way we're made
Oh that my eyes could shed these scales
I can almost make out the shape of a face
Just beyond the veil
Questions crowd my heart and will not pass
My prayers are lost in silence and the sky is like brass
But I'll stay on my knees until my answer comes at last
CHORUS
Closer to the flame
We drink our cup of pain
And it burns us to the bone
In the fire we find a strength
Greater than our own
Than our own
CHORUS

Through the Glass Darkly [C]

I heard God was at the palace doing a one night stand
So I went out there to see Him with my hope in my hand
He was just a boy of fifteen without much to say
And when he started signing autographs I walked away
I was standing on a corner by the marketplace
When a fellow with some leaflets shoved one right in my face
Well he poked me with his Bible like it was a loaded gun
And I said whatever it is you're selling man I don't want none
All our superstars are suicidal casualties
And our heroes die in motel rooms and motorcades
Oh it seems like all our dreams are only fantasies
And I wonder if we'll learn from the mistakes we've made
I bumped into Mr. Jimi at a London hotel
And he said let's get together but he didn't look well
When I woke up in the morning all the papers read
Jimi Hendrix overdosed last night in bed
All our superstars are suicidal casualties
And our heroes die in motel rooms and motorcades
Well it seems like all our dreams turn into tragedies
And I wonder if we'll learn from the mistakes we've made
Now I'm waiting at the bus stop for the bus to arrive
And I know there must be more to life than staying alive
Well I don't know where I'm going when I climb in
But it can't be any emptier than where I've been

Here in America

D /C# /B /A G D F# /A# Bm /A G D
[ / / / / ][ / / / / ][ / / / / ][ / / / / ]
A/C# Bm F# F#/A# Bm D/A G A7sus A7 D
[ / / / / ][ / / / / ][ / / / / ][ / / / / ]
D /C# /B /A G D
Saints and children we have gathered here to hear the sacred story
F# /A# Bm /A G D
And I'd gladly bring it to you with my best rhyming and rhythm
A/C# Bm F# F#/A# Bm
'Cause I know the thirsty listen and down to the waters come
D/A G A7sus A7 D
And the Holy King of Israel loves me here in America
Gmaj7 D/F# Em7 A7 D Gmaj7 D/F# Em7 A7 D
[ / / / / ][ / / / / ] [ / / / / ][ / / / / ]
Refrain:
And if you listen to my songs I hope you hear the water falling
I hope you feel the oceans crashing on the coast of north New England
I wish I could be there just to see them; two summers past I was
And the Holy King of Israel loves me here in America
Em7 A7 D2 G2
And if I were a painter I do not know which I'd paint
Em7 A7sus A D2
The calling of the ancient stars or assembling of the saints
Em7sus A7sus A C2 G
And there's so much beauty around us for just two eyes to see
Em7 F#m7 Gmaj7 A7sus
But everywhere I go I'm looking
And once I went to Appalachia for my father he was born there
And I saw the mountains waking with the innocence of children
And my soul is still there with them wrapped in the songs they brought
And the Holy King of Israel loves me here in America
And I've seen by the highways on a million exit ramps
Those two legged memorials to the laws of happenstance
Waiting for four-wheeled messiahs to take them home again
But I'm home anywhere if You are where I am
REFRAIN
D/A G A7sus A7 D
...And the Holy King of Israel loves me here in America
Gmaj7 D/F# Em7 A7 D Gmaj7 D/F# Em7 A7 D
[ / / / / ][ / / / / ][ / / / / ][ / / / / ]
Gmaj7 D/F# F C/E Eb Bb/D F/C Bb *c -> f#
/F# /E D
[ / / / / ][ / . / . / . / . ][ / . / ...... ]
---------------------------
*c -> f# is a descending scale, c-bb-a-g-f#

Free Software Song [G]

Join us now and share the software;
You'll be free, hackers, you'll be free.
Join us now and share the software;
You'll be free, hackers, you'll be free.
Hoarders can get piles of money,
That is true, hackers, that is true.
But they cannot help their neighbors;
That's not good, hackers, that's not good.
When we have enough free software
At our call, hackers, at our call,
We'll kick out those dirty licenses
Ever more, hackers, ever more.
Join us now and share the software;
You'll be free, hackers, you'll be free.
Join us now and share the software;
You'll be free, hackers, you'll be free.

Lookin' for America [D]

Well I took a left out of my driveway
Hit that long and lonesome highway
Figured I'd make my way across this land
Slow ride, no hurry, I'll be back, don't you worry
First song I ever sang was Travelin' Man
Freedom never comes without a cost
I've paid my dues, but I'm not lost
Chorus:
I'm just out here, lookin' for America
She's getting harder and harder to find
In the hearts of common people everywhere
She's alive and doing fine
And I'm just out here, I'm lookin' for America
Oh I love that rolling motion, mountain, valley, river, ocean
Got it going, I get the notion, I can't stay still
Colorado, West Virginia, aw that road can sure get in ya
Rode my pony through those Oklahoma hills
I saddle up, I just let her run, California, here I come
Chorus
Now Charlie he's a Harley man, "Live to ride," that's his plan
He took a hit in Vietnam, but he's doing alright
Instead of two wheels he rides three
His legs ain't what they used to be
But he fought that war for you and me, believing it was right
Standing at that long black wall silently, says it all
Chorus
Now some say things are getting worse, the attitude is Me First
And I know this world could die of thirst without love
But I've been in towns from state to state
We can turn it around, it ain't too late
This country is still a great place to live
And I've talked to young people all across this land
I'm telling you the future's in damn good hands
Chorus

Steve Ballmer

Hey YAPC, it's me.
I'm in uh, Washington State. Near Seattle.
Anyway I've been thinking about you a lot, and I've been needing to tell you something. I don't know why I haven't, but it's important, I mean, we've been together for so long, almost 10 years, and I still haven't told you, and it's just not right, so, here goes.
2
8
I'm fucking Steve Ballmer
I'm sorry but it's true
I'm fucking Steve Ballmer
I'm not imagining it's you
6
I'm fucking Steve Ballmer
On XP, on a Zune, 'neath a Vista of the Moon
Coding Basic Visually, and it all runs in IE
8
I'm fucking Steve Ballmer
While you're drinking Diet Snapple
I'm fucking Steve Ballmer
Hey YAPC, how do you like them apples?
8
I'm fucking Steve Ballmer
As I'm playing on my harp
I'm fucking Steve Ballmer
And I'm coding in C sharp
Last week when I replied to a bug report for Mac::Glue, I was fucking Steve Ballmer
Last month when you flew back and forth like an idiot between YAPC::Asia and YAPC::Russia, I was definitely fucking Steve Ballmer
When I told you I was fucking Steve Ballmer, I was fucking Steve Ballmer
On XP, on a Zune, 'neath a Vista of the Moon
Coding Basic Visually, and it all runs in IE
I'm fucking Steve Ballmer
I'm fucking Steve Ballmer
I'm fucking Steve Ballmer
I love Redmond!
So, that's it. I think I was clear. Um. Anyway, um, you know, we had a great run, YAPC. And I hope there's no hard feelings, I hope we can be friends. I'm friends with all my old conferences. MacWorld. LinuxWorld. The Perl Conference. So. If anything isn't clear, you need closure of some kind, please, please, let's do lunch at the Visual Studio Developer Conference.
So, take care ... oops, YAPC, we're out of time. Sorry. I need to put this guitar down and go fuck Steve Ballmer. See you, YAPC.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1uCjq96Jes
http://homepage.mac.com/pudge/.Movies/FSB/FSB-s.m4v
http://homepage.mac.com/pudge/.Movies/FSB/FSB-l.m4v
http://homepage.mac.com/pudge/.Movies/FSB/FSBU-l.m4v
http://homepage.mac.com/pudge/.Movies/FSB/FSB-l-test.m4v
http://homepage.mac.com/pudge/.Music/FSB/FSB.zip
http://homepage.mac.com/pudge/.Music/FSB/FSB.aif.zip

Fireworks [G# (c1/G)]

Ooh, there's gonna be fireworks (Fireworks!)
On the Fourth of July (red, white, and blue!)
Red, white, and blue fireworks
Like diamonds in the sky. (diamonds in the sky!)
We're gonna shoot the entire works on fireworks
That really show, oh yeah,
We declared our liberty 200 years ago.
Yeah!
In 1776 (fireworks!)
There were fireworks too (red, white, and blue!)
The original colonists,
You know their tempers blew (They really blew!)
Like Thomas Paine once wrote:
It's only common sense (only common sense)
That if a government won't give you your basic rights
You'd better get another government.
And though some people tried to fight it,
Well, a committee was formed to write it:
Benjamin Franklin, Philip Livingston,
John Adams, Roger Sherman, Thomas Jefferson,
They got it done (Oh yes they did!)
The Declaration, uh-huh-huh,
The Declaration of Independence (Oh yeah!)
In seventeen hundred seventy six (Right on!)
The Continental Congress said that we were free (We're free!)
Said we had the right of life and liberty,
...And the pursuit of happiness!

Ooh, when England heard the news, (Kerpow!)
They blew their stack (They really blew their cool!)
But the colonies lit the fuse,
There'd be no turning back (no turnin' back!)
They'd had enough of injustice now
But even if it really hurts, oh yeah,
If you don't give us our freedom now
You're gonna see some fireworks!
And on the Fourth of July they signed it
And 56 names underlined it,
And now to honor those first 13 states,
We turn the sky into a birthday cake.
They got it done (Oh yes they did!)
The Declaration, uh-huh-huh,
The Declaration of Independence (Oh yeah!)
In seventeen hundred seventy six (Right on!)
The Continental Congress said that we were free (We're free!)
Said we had the right of life and liberty,
...And the pursuit of happiness!
We hold these truths to be self-evident,
That all men are created equal
And that they are endowed by their creator
With certain inalienable rights.
That among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
And if there's one thing that makes me happy,
Then you know that it's (ooh)
There's gonna be fireworks!

Fireworks II [G# (c1/G)]

Ooh, there's gonna be fireworks on the Fourth of July
Red, white, and blue fireworks, like diamonds in the sky
We're gonna shoot the entire works
On fireworks that really show, oh yeah,
That we declared our liberty 200 years ago
In 1776, there were fireworks too
The original colonists, you know their tempers blew
Like Thomas Paine once wrote: It's only Common Sense
That if a government won't give you your basic rights
You'd better get another government
And though some people tried to fight it,
Well, a committee was formed to write it:
Benjamin Franklin, Robert Livingston,
John Adams, Roger Sherman, Thomas Jefferson
Chorus:
They got it done, the Declaration, uh-uh-huh
The Declaration of Independence
In seventeen hundred seventy six
The Continental Congress said that we were free
Said we had the right of life and liberty
And the pursuit of happiness

Ooh, when England heard the news, they blew their stack
But the colonies lit the fuse, there'd be no turning back
They'd had enough of injustice now, but even if it really hurts, oh yeah
If you don't give us our freedom now, you're gonna see some fireworks
And on the Fourth of July they signed it, and 56 names underlined it
And now to honor those first 13 states, we turn the sky into a birthday cake
Chorus
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal
That they are endowed by their creator with certain inalienable rights
That among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness
And if there's one thing that makes me happy,
Then you know that it's: there's gonna be fireworks

1979 [ Eb (E) ]

Shakedown 1979
Cool kids never have the time
On a live wire right up off the street
You and I should meet
Junebug skipping like a stone
With the headlights pointed at the dawn
We were sure we'd never see an end
To it all
And I don't even care to shake these zipper blues
And we don't know
Just where our bones will rest
To dust I guess
Forgotten and absorbed to the earth below
Double cross the vacant and the bored
They're not sure just what we have in store
Morphine city slippin' dues
Down to see
That we don't even care as restless as we are
We feel the pull in the land of a thousand guilts
And poured cement, lamented and assured

To the lights and towns below
Faster than the speed of sound
Faster than we thought we'd go
Beneath the sound of hope
Justine never knew the rules
Hung down with the freaks and the ghouls
No apologies ever need be made
I know you better than you fake it
To see
That we don't even care to shake these zipper blues
And we don't know just where our bones will rest
To dust I guess
Forgotten and absorbed to the earth below
The street heats the urgency of now
As you see there's no one around

Baby Doe

Unfolding today
A miracle play
This Illinois morn
The father -- he sighs
She opens her eyes
Their baby is born
"We don't understand
It's not like we planned"
The doctor shakes his head
"Aborted" they cry
And so they decide
This child is better dead
I bear the blame
Believers are few
And what am I to do?
I share the shame
The cradle's below
And where is Baby Doe?
No hearing is sought
No lawyers are brought
They just won't let him eat
They wrap him up tight
And turn out the light
This child is getting weak
They're drawing a bead
Reciting their creed
"Respect a woman's choice"
I've heard that before
How can you ignore
This baby has a voice
I bear the blame
Believers are few
And what am I to do?
I share the shame
The cradle's below
And where is Baby Doe?
It's over and done
Nobody has won
And no one gets a prize
Behind your disguise
Your rhetoric lies
You watched a baby starve
I bear the blame
The cradle's below
And where is baby ...
http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?i=49669224&id=49669231&s=143441

You Know What To Do [GsD]

Some people think they're happy, livin' for themselves
But when they're sad they long for something else
And you can find the answer in an honest way
To get you thru the sadness, to start a whole new day
We've found a life that keeps us happy
Yes, we have and we'll live eternally
We'll always have the light to see, and so can you
Chorus:
Are you feeling lonely?
Are you feeling blue?
Does your life seem empty?
You know what to do
You say you've go some troubles, yeah, oh so many downs
You need a light to lift you off the ground
And if your life feels senseless, just accept the Lord
And He'll make you see things you never have seen before
An everlasting life abounding, oh yeah
Yes, He will and He's always giving more
And His light will never stop shining, it's for you, yes it is
Chorus

Strange Days [D]

We might love someone who's an enemy
We might break the laws of entropy
And we might learn respect
You might even listen to me
In the strange days of our lives
We might breathe clean air, swim a cobalt sea
We might stop a war, act with gallantry
And we might read a book
Improve our memory
In the strange days of our lives
And when we took the torch into the night
We vowed to search the highways for an honest man
But when we looked into each other's eyes
We knew it would be best to make some other plan
We might keep the faith, seek truth, speak honestly
We might even pull the plugs on our TVs
We might help the poor
And learn geography
In the strange days of our lives
In the strange days of our lives

Karate [CsF]

With karate I'll kick your ass
From Here to Tiananmen Square
Oh Yeah, motherfucker
Im gonna kick your fucking derriere yeah, yeah
You broke the rules, now I'll pull out all your pubic hair
You Motherfucker
You Motherfucker
Kyle Betrayed me, then he lied, tried to hide
But I die deep inside and you know the reason why
I'm gonna kick your ass, from here, to right over there
Oh Yeah, motherfucker
Im gonna kick your fucking derriere yeah, yeah
You broke the rules, now I'll pull out all your pubic hair
You Motherfucker
You Motherfucker

Hockey Mom [D]

Everybody's fast asleep
She's up packing up a lunch for me
Driving to two, she'll drive right through
She's my hockey mom
The rink is 20 degrees
She's got longjohns and a thermos full of coffee
???
She'd never complain
She's my hockey mom
Hockey mom, you know you're my number one
Hockey mom, you're my number one
I open up my bag at the rink
Thanks to mom, my gear, it never stinks
She's one of a kind
She's mine all mine
She's my hockey mom
Hockey mom, you know you're my number one
Hockey mom, you're my number one

Alright For Now [D (c5/A)]

Goodnight baby, sleep tight my love
May God watch over you from above
Tomorrow I'm workin' what would I do
I'd be lost and lonely if not for you
So close your eyes
We're alright for now
I've spent my life travelin', spent my life free
I could not repay all you've done for me
So sleep tight baby, unfurrow your brow
And know I love you
We're alright for now
We're alright for now

I Won't Back Down [GsEm]

Well I won't back down, no I won't back down
You could stand me up at the gates of Hell
But I won't back down
Gonna stand my ground, won't be turned around
And I'll keep this world from draggin' me down
Gonna stand my ground, and I won't back down
Chorus
Hey baby, there ain't no easy way out
Hey I will stand my ground
And I won't back down
Well I know what's right, I got just one life
In a world that keeps on pushin' me around
But I'll stand my ground and I won't back down
Chorus

Wildflowers [FsBb (c3/DsG)]

You belong among the wildflowers
You belong in a boat out at sea
Sail away, kill off the hours
You belong somewhere you feel free
Run away, find you a lover
Go away somewhere bright and new
I have seen no other
Who compares with you
You belong among the wildflowers
You belong in a boat out at sea
You belong with your love on your arm
You belong somewhere you feel free
Run away, go find a lover
Run away, let your heart be your guide
You deserve the deepest of cover
You belong in that home by and by
You belong among the wildflowers
You belong somewhere close to me
Far away from your trouble and worry
You belong somewhere you feel free
You belong somewhere you feel free

Way Down in the Hole [Em]

When you walk through the garden
You gotta watch your back
Well I beg your pardon
Walk the straight and narrow track
If you walk with Jesus
He's gonna save your soul
You gotta keep the devil
Way down in the hole
He's got the fire and the fury
At his command
Well you don't have to worry
If you hold on to Jesus' hand
We'll all be safe from Satan
When the thunder rolls
We just gotta keep the devil
Way down in the hole
All the angels sing
About Jesus' mighty sword
And they'll shield you with their wings
And keep you close to the Lord
Don't pay heed to temptation
For his hands are so cold
You gotta help me keep the devil
Way down in the hole

You Will Go Free [G]

You've been a prisoner
Been a prisoner all your life
Held captive in an alien world
Where they hold your need for love to your throat like a knife
And they make you jump
And they make you do tricks
They take what started off such an innocent heart
And they break it and break it and break it
'Til it almost can't be found
Well i don't know when
And it don't know how
I don't know how long it's gonna take
I don't know how hard it will be
But I know
You will go free
You can call it the devil
Call it the big lie
Call it a fallen world
Whatever it is it ruins almost everything we try
It's the sins of the fathers
It's the choices we make
It's people screaming without making a sound
From prison cells in paradise
But we're chained to our mistakes
Well I don't know when
And I don't know how
I don't know how much it's gonna cost you
Probably everything
But I know
You will go free

You can't see your jailer
You can't see the bars
You can't turn your head around fast enough
But it's everywhere you are
It's all around you
Everywhere you walk these prison walls surrounds you
But in the midst of all this darkness
In the middle of this night
I see truth cut through this curtain like a laser
Like a pure and holy light
I know I can't touch you now
And I don't want to speak too soon
But when we get sprung from out of these cages baby
God knows what we might do
Well I don't know when
And I don't know how
I don't know if you'll be leaving alone
Or if you'll be leaving with me
But I know
You will go free

Handle With Care [D]

Been beat up and battered around
Been sent up and I've been shot down
You're the best thing that I've ever found
Handle me with care
Reputation's changable
Situation's tolerable
Baby, you're adorable
Handle me with care
Chorus:
I'm so tired of being lonely
I still have some love to give
Won't you show me that you really care
Bridge:
Everybody's got somebody to lean on
Put your body next to mine, and dream on
I've been fobbed off and I've been fooled
I've been robbed and ridiculed
In daycare centers and night schools
Handle me with care
Chorus
Bridge
Been stuck in airports, terrorized
Sent to meetings, hypnotized
Overexposed, commercialized
Handle me with care
I've been uptight and made a mess
But I'll clean it up myself, I guess
Oh, the sweet smell of success
Handle me with care

Christmas Time is Here

Christmas time is here
Happiness and cheer
Fun for all that children call
Their favorite time of the year
Snowflakes in the air
Carols everywhere
Olden times and ancient rhymes
Of love and dreams to share
Sleigh bells in the air
Beauty everywhere
Yuletide by the fireside
And joyful memories there
Christmas time is here
We'll be drawing near
Oh, that we could always see
Such spirit through the year
Oh, that we could always see
Such spirit through the year...