"If you notice a glaring fault or character flaw in another person, it's because you have the same fault yourself." I not only disagree with this old trope but find it upsetting, as an abuse survivor who has been with a psychopath, and on the behalf of all who have been in relationships with or had to deal with psychopaths, narcissists, and other abusers and disordered individuals. One only has to see a cruel person who lacks empathy for a while to see just how deep character flaws can run, and see that sometimes, it really is not your fault.