NO

Listen, you don’t owe anyone anything. You don’t owe anyone an explanation, you don’t owe anyone your entire story or access to your heart.Mike and I are in Chicago right now, part fun, but mostly a work trip. After touring 3 hotels, we were offered a cocktail at 9am (it was already made and handed to us, I asked if it contained alcohol and handed it back), we have been given gift bags everywhere and ended up with 2 bottles of whisky, 2 bottles of vodka, and 2 bottles of a house made liquor. At dinner, we were seated and our waiter said he would be right back with our welcome martinis and we had to say, “No, thanks.” And he replied, “So…just no alcohol?”.

Drinking is not tempting but apologizing is. I feel like I need to just tell everyone, “I know this is awkward, here’s my deal…, please don’t feel weird, I’m good, I’m sorry.”

Running yesterday, I was consumed with trying to think of a good explanation to give people. A tag line that would make everyone comfortable. But you know what….

It’s not our job to make people comfortable. It’s our job to say no to anything that no longer serves us.

No, is a complete sentence. It might be our most important sentence because on the other side of “No” is “Yes”. Before we can add the good stuff, we have to clear out the clutter so our life has room.

Me saying “no” to alcohol, is me saying “yes” to my next chapter of life. It is saying yes to feeling good enough to get up early and meditate every morning, it is yes to learning how to deal with stress is a positive way, yes to sleeping well, yes to my health, yes to accepting pain instead of numbing it away, and yes to self acceptance. And it will always be a YES to looking in the mirror and being so proud that it hurts.

I believe that freedom is found in sharing our stories. But we do that in our own time and on our own terms and to our own people. Until you are ready, “no” is all you have to provide. Eye contact and a smile is even sufficient. Or a scowl. Whatever you want, I’m not the boss of you.

You don’t have to explain your choices, you don’t have to explain your relationship or your child or lack of child, you don’t have to explain your food choices or your tears or your smile. It is not on you to make sure everyone else is comfortable with your life. You are only responsible for you and any little people you have. And that’s it. Let everyone else go.

Find the power and the freedom in your “no”. Stand in that open space you just created and wait for your yes, because it’s coming and it’s going to be amazing.

Some mantras I am using this week:

I am not here to make people comfortable.

I am here to shine as bright as I can.

I will not apologize for my path, my opinions or my no.

My no is my most powerful statement because it will lead me to my yes.

P.S. I pick one mantra a day (sometimes I use the same one several days in a row) to use during meditation. I also put it as a my phone wallpaper/background so I see it throughout the day. The point is to repeat it throughout the day so it sinks in deep and gets stuck in your heart.