For the first time during my entire mothering experience I have finally understood why Mother’s Day was created. It was a Tuesday; Brennan had been giving me a hard time for the entire day. Keep in mind that Brennan is four and a half so when he gives me a hard time it’s in the form of disrespect, mouthing off, and complete disobedience. On this particular day my normally polite child demanded a snack. If I said “no” this resulted in a complete temper tantrum; face beet red, arms flailing, and feet stomping. This behavior continued whenever I declined any request he made – gargantuan or minute.

Typically I’m a tougher mom than to let my four and a half year old affect my emotions so much but after the fifth demand to watch a TV show and the fifth meltdown at the undesired answer of his request I had reached my limit. It probably has more to do with the fact that my lady friend was visiting that day so hormones were definitely raging.

After a few more tantrums I did what any mom in today’s world would do: I took to the world of social media to voice my frustrations. “I feel like all I am seen as today is a maid and cook,” I declared to the Facebook world. Seeing my job change announcement my other mommy friends clicked that ever so popular like button and then explained that they weren’t liking the fact that I felt that way rather they completely resonated with how I was feeling. I felt like taking Brennan by the shoulders and saying, “Look kid, I took you to the library this morning can’t you be appreciative of that?” Of course, I didn’t do this; besides there’s really no way of reasoning with anyone under the age of 18 but you better believe that I wanted to. Thankfully my better judgment kicked in.

Isn’t this the truth though? As mothers we give and give and give; I know that all I really want is for someone to say, “thank you.” The irony is that when I was a child I willingly took anything my mother wanted to give to me. Like Brennan, I too badgered and nagged my mom until I got what I wanted and if I didn’t, I’m certain I went into full tantrum mode.

At the end of the day, after my husband had come home and the kids were in bed, I sat back and thought about everything that had happened. I thought about how I was feeling, wondered if what I was doing was more than just wiping butts and making chicken nuggets. Then an image of my own mom popped into my head and I instantly felt guilty. Had I treated her this way? Did she have days like this when I was a child living at home? I’m sure that she did and you know what? Her constant care taking of me has made me the woman I am today. Her selfless nature taught me how to be selfless with my own children.

Mother’s Day is this weekend and my challenge to you is to think of a way to thank your own mom for those difficult days. What will you do?

Elizabeth "Bert" Anderson is a stay-at-home mom of two living outside of the Twin Cities and the writer behind the blog, First Time Mom. She's a lover of cloth diapers, pop culture, health and fitness, and the blessings that comes with being a mother.

Ah yes, the selfless life of a parent! I think it is safe to say that a child will not understand what a mom/dad does until the parent has either passed away, or that child is a mother/father themselves. It is very hard to truly understand something unless you have gone through it yourself. It is to bad that we have to wait 30 years to hear thank you! Thank God for friends and parent support groups!

Comment by Sonya Choron on May 6, 2013 at 12:46 pm

I hear ya. I truly did not appreciate my mom and all she did until I became one myself and had to deal with an insane toddler by myself. My mom probably did deal with a lot of tantrums from me until my step-dad entered the picture, then tantrums were not allowed. at. all.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how to honor my mom and tell her “thank you” this mother’s day. I plan on writing her a long letter detailing what I admire about her and then getting her some roses and making her a healthy treat. We’ll probably take her out for a nice meal too, unless my hubby wants to cook for us (my mom, my sister and me) again this year. He put on a delicious dinner for us last year.

It is pretty sad that we don’t appreciate what our moms do for us for so many years.

Comment by Julie on May 6, 2013 at 8:35 pm

Being a stay home mom is amazing but some people don’t realize that even though our husbands work all day and we stay home THEY get a break from their jobs ours are 24/7 365 days a year. It gets stressful but we wouldn’t trade it for anything!

Comment by Alyssa on May 23, 2013 at 5:49 pm

I really loved this post. I am not a mom yet (hopefully soon!) but I have recently started to notice little things like how my niece and nephew act towards my sister-in-law, or even how my grown up brother and sister treat our mom. I watch my mom try and help my sister who has spiraled out of control and think to myself “How does she do it? How does she make it through each day being treated this way?” Luckily I was never terrible towards my mom growing up, but knowing what my siblings put her through makes me hope I can be as calm and understanding she towards my own children when they are acting out. I am sure that once I have my own child, I will appreciate my mom even more than I already do.

Comment by Kenzi on May 29, 2013 at 6:49 am

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