Greetings, I am known as "The Ninja Master." When I'm not out galavanting across the Universe or having fisticuffs with monsters, my job is to hunt down movies. The bad ones get slaughtered. In my quest to write movie reviews, I have developed a very professional rating system.

Ava Cadabra, the Mysterious Mistress of Magic, will also be providing movie reviews. Her reviews have been known to come out of the screen and kill you, because they are that damn good. I know that didn't make sense, and I'm prepared to overlook it.

Ninjasaurus Rex Rating System:

Movies are rated on a scale of 1 to 5 Ninjasaurus Rex. A movie that fails to get enough Ninjasaurus Rex may be SLAUGHTERED. Watch a slaughtered movie at your own risk. Many people have lost their lives due to terrible films.