Mr Tony's unreliable alarm clock

Either that, or he must have set it to snooze 27 years ago, as the Ozymandias of 10 Downing Street has "called on the world to wake up to the 'strategic challenge' posed by Iran". Erm, those of us who have read the newspapers and a bit of Middle Eastern history know that Iran has been making trouble for its neighbours since 1979. The Iran-Iraq war broke out because of Iranian attempts to destabilise Iraq.

What else hasn't he noticed?

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Emily grows ever more demented as his NuLab project crashes and burns in ignominy. His last but deluded hope of glory lies in the foreign policy arena- an area in which he greatly overrates himself. As we have all seen from the Iraq debacle. The problem with his latest "peace efforts in the Middle East/ farewell jaunt" is that they fail to acknowledge several major factors.....he is detested and loathed throughout the region, he is viewed (rightly) as W's poodle, a "Crusader" and an adjunct member of the Israeli Cabinet. The other day he was in Turkey lauding Turkey for its EU bid. The Turks have seen through him and (rightly) view Emily as an insincere little shit.

Blair is the shallowest, most ill-read, most ignorant leader of a country since Idi Amin set up shop as boss man of Uganda. His lack of even a superficial knowledge of history, even very recent history that he lived through himself, is breathtaking. He's read, I believe, one history book: the history of Marxism. He hasn't even read biographies or autobiographies, of his predecessors in the great office of the premiership of Britain.

He's too busy with his "rolling couch meetings" and micro-fiddling in things that don't concern him. He's a blank slate.

When he goes, please God, let him go in utter ignomy and let him, just this one time in his entire life, understand in what contempt he is held.

(Someone in the White House has now leaked how utterly absurd it is to suggest that Tony Blair ever had the tiniest smidgen of influence over the President.)