If any footballer could turn as quickly on the ball as Sepp Blatter did on his racism comments, he’d be in the national team winning accolades aplenty.

The complete volte face by the head of FIFA was astounding. One day he thinks that racist comments on the football field are not too worrying and should be sorted out “with a handshake”. Several days and many outraged reactions later, he thinks that racism must be rooted out completely; anyone involved must be kicked out and there must be zero tolerance!

So, was that a zero tolerance handshake he was advocating then? What would that look like? You grab the offensive player by the hand, throw him bodily off the pitch, rendering him incapable of playing or insulting anyone again? Sorted.

As a headbutt is known as a Glasgow kiss, perhaps a Blatter handshake will become the name for a jolly good seeing to. Play on!