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Sep 25, 2012

After something resembling a summer vacation, school is here again... I'd like to say I'm excited. That I'm really looking forward to this year. But I can't say that I am honestly. I mean, here I am, looking at my last year of my undergrad. And there is no excitement. None at all. I have the potential to do really well, if only I avoid letting my head get in the way. But secretly, I know it will again. It always does. It's just a matter of how well I can hide it this time around. I've spent months trying to be 'better' whatever that means. But I'm not better. I don't want to be better. I want to be thin.

I'm ashamed of myself. A year ago november, I was at a low weight. 128 pounds. And here I am ballooned to 143.