If you missed it last week, the Miami Heat and Brooklyn Nets played with nicknames on the back of their jerseys instead of their last names. Once I was able to shush the crotchety old man that sometimes takes over my brain, I really enjoyed it. Ray Allen’s “J. Shuttlesworth” jersey, a nod to his role in He Got Game, was fantastic. Joe Johnson being “JJ” was very Joe Johnson and made me laugh.

Not everyone could come up with a great nickname, naturally, because some guys just don’t have nicknames. Or if they do, we don’t know about them.

But as per usual, basketball-reference.com comes to the rescue.

The following 25 nicknames are taken directly from the player pages on that site. They are not made up, as I am not nearly creative enough to do such a thing.

I’ve made a quiz that matches the nicknames to their players. It is impossible. If you like knowing the answers to quizzes you take, do not take this quiz.

Hopefully that scared you off, and now you can enjoy 25 of the best nicknames listed on the player pages at basketball-reference.com. I’ll post the names of the players in the comments section a little later today. Enjoy!

25 Nicknames

Death & Taxes

Big Classic

Armadillo Cowboy

Big Penguin

The Pterodactyl

Frodo

The Hobbit

Chief Lightning First Step

The Natural

Beans

Swamp Thang

The Hitman

The Drunken Dribbler

Grocery List

Dolla Billz

Bean Burrito

Switchblade

Buffet of Goodness

The Dread Pirate

The Definition

Yaowa

Meal Ticket

Two Time

La Tanquera

And last but not least…

Carl.

More nickname jerseys, please!

– D.J. Foster

Best line of the day, from Barack Obama during the Heat’s trip to the White House.

Bobcats 108, Knicks 98: The big story out of this will be J.R. Smith getting benched again — is his time with the Knicks over? He is eligible to be traded Wednesday but who wants him? — and the odd timing of that because Knicks, unable to find enough offensive spark with out him, saw their five-game win streak come to an end. Al Jefferson was a beast for Charlotte, with 35 points on 14-of-20 shooting, making Tyson Chandler look slow and getting other Knicks to bite on pump fakes like they’d never seen them before. The Knicks defense was terrible. Charlotte got Michael Kidd-Gilchrist back and he played good defense on Carmelo Anthony, who struggled when MKG was in (‘Melo had 20 points on 22 shots).

Pacers 116, Kings 92: Indiana took control of this game with a 23-5 run in the second quarter and the game never really felt in doubt after that. For a change the Pacers won this one with offense, scoring a season-high 116 points on 54.9 percent shooting. Paul George was a beast, attacking when he got the ball and scoring 24 of his 31 points in the second half. DeMarcus Cousins did his part to push back — 31 points on 12-of-21 shooting plus 13 rebounds — but he didn’t get much help.

Grizzlies 90, Thunder 87: Marc Gasol looked pretty good — 12 points, including a huge late three, plus he pulled down 7 rebounds. You might look at the 87 points and the fact the Thunder shot 40.7 percent and think that Memphis played amazing defense… not exactly. They played good defense but the Thunder just missed shots, which includes Serge Ibaka having a wide-open three o tie the game and missing. Kevin Durant had 37 points on 28 shots, remove him from the equation and the rest of the Thunder shot 32 percent. Courtney Lee had 24 points and Zach Randolph had 23.

Cavaliers 120, Lakers 118: Defense? We don’t need no stinkin’ defense. Nobody played much in this contest, but that made for fun offense. Luol Deng adds another dimension to the Cavaliers offense and he had his best game since the trade against the Lakers “defense” scoring 27 points and going 5-of-5 from three. Three point shooting was a theme for the Cavs all night as they hit 13-of-17 from deep. On the other side Kendall Marshall exposed the Lakers slow rotations all night on his way to 16 assists. This was a game of big runs but the key one was a 12-0 Cavaliers run in the fourth quarter, sparked by Dion Waiters 13 in that quarter. The Lakers answered with an 11-3 run of their own in the closing minutes, but they couldn’t make the shots they needed at the end. The Lakers have lost five in a row, 11-of-12, and now they head out for 12 days and 7 games on the road. So, no, this may well not be rock bottom.

You probably answered “the Clippers.” Most fans do. So do most NBA referees — And everyone else. Which is why after a recent loss to Golden State, veteran Marreese Speight (a Warrior last season) pointed to the Clippers complaining about the officiating as part of the problem.

He went on to say that the scouting report is you can get in the Clippers’ heads by knocking them around a little. Which seems pretty obvious when you watch teams play them. Shockingly, Clippers coach Doc Rivers disagrees with that. Via NBCLosAngeles.com.

“The officiating thing, I don’t think, is our issue. I will say that,” said Rivers about the technical fouls. “If that were the problem, then, Golden State would be struggling. They’ve been No. 2 the last two years in techs, too. I think we need to point fingers in another direction than that.”

Doc may not like it, but Speights is right.

The Warriors do complain too much, but they also have a ring so more is forgiven. The problem for the Clippers is that reputation for complaining starts with Rivers — he complains as much or more than any coach in the league. Then it filters down through Chris Paul and Blake Griffin.

Is it fair that more is forgiven with winning? Moot question. Welcome to America. The Clippers complain a lot and have yet to get past the second round with this core. And at times there standing there complaining to the referees does get in the way of them getting back into defense, and they seem to go in a funk.

The Pelicans are disappointing this season — it is Anthony Davis vs. the world down there. Which is the main reason they are 7-16 this season. While things have gotten better since Jrue Holiday‘s return, Davis is averaging a league-best 31.4 points per game, it then drops off to Holiday at 15.4, and then E'Twaun Moore at 11.1.

When a team struggles, usually that is a bad sign for the coach. Not because it’s always their fault, but because GMs choose not to fire themselves for poor roster construction. Which leads to the question: Alvin Gentry, are you concerned about your job? (Warning, NSFW)

New Orleans’ struggles are not on Gentry, certainly not completely. He’d like a roster that can play uptempo, that has depth. What he got instead was a good point guard, an elite 4/5, a rookie in Buddy Hield that maybe pans out down the line, and then… nada. And the roster Gentry has often is banged up.

If anyone is in trouble, it is GM Dell Demps. Remember, Danny Ferry was hired last summer for the vague role of “special advisor.” Gentry is in his second year, and the issue is the roster he was given. But the Pelicans are a patient organization that values continuity, so… who knows. But the clock is ticking on Davis;, it’s years away, but the Pelicans need to build a team around him and are far from that right now.

Jones told the Beacon Journal he will retire after next season, which will be his 15th in the NBA. His ultimate dream is to ride off after three consecutive championships in Cleveland

“I know playing 15 years is a number where I can look back and I can be like, ‘I accomplished something,’ ” Jones said. “Fourteen vs. 15 may not be much, but to be able to say I played 15 years, that’s enough for me to hang ’em up.”

Jones’ contract expires after the season, so the Cavs will have a say in whether he returns. Safe to say if LeBron wants him back, Jones will be back.

But the Heat got into trouble relying on washed-up veterans around LeBron, wasting valuable roster spots on players who could no longer contribute.

Is that Jones? Not yet. Though he’s out of the rotation, he has still made 11-of-12 open 3-pointers this season. There’s a role for him as spot-up shooter when Cleveland needs one.

Still, the Cavaliers ought to be mindful of Jones’ likely decline over the next year and a half. Plus, it’s not a certainty he holds to his timeline. Cavs veterans have a history of changing their mindon retirement.