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I am a Scorpio. I enjoy long walks on the beach, drinking copious amounts of alcohol, and men in hockey masks. In my spare time I work to foil the plans of my arch nemesis, utilize my eight finger discount, and lecture from my soapbox about social injustices. I do not tolerate fools or like people who make Walmart plural.
I judge people who are missing more teeth than they have, unless they are old. I would like to someday be the scary old woman in the neighborhood that all the children are afraid of, however I will be misunderstood and actually a sweet old lady turned bitter by the disappointments of this cruel, cruel life.
I will have made my vast wealth telling fortunes under the alias the Mad Madame Mim and selling t-shirts in tourist destinations that say “Life isn’t always flowers and sausages”.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

The best ambiguous phrases

1. Life isn't always flowers and sausages.2. Sunshine sandwich.3. Shamrock shake- this is my newest and favorite one for today.Here are some possible uses: use it dirty."I bet you showed him your shamrock shake..." or you can use it clean "One shamrock shake please with a pint of Guinness" or hateful "You dirty shamrock shake" or egotistically "Her shamrock shake has nothing on mine" or accusingly "You gave me a shamrock shake!"