Wednesday, November 2, 2011

It Ain't The Players, It's The Uniform

I am not a scientist. I don't even play one on TV. And I didn't sleep at a Holiday Inn Express last night, or any night for that matter. But I do have a theory, and I challenge you to disprove it.

The current crop of potential Republican presidential nominees is being collectively laughed off the stage by the public at large, and it is happening not because each one of them is exceptionally clownish (of course, they are) in his or her own way, but because they are all true Republicans. There it is.

They are all on the same ideological team, running the same plays, following the same game plan, trying to score points the same way. Yes, some are hot dogs (think Ron Paul and Newt Gingrich), some are stodgy linemen (think Mitt Romney and Rick Perry), some are free agents (think Herman Cain and John Huntsman), there is a reserve utility player (think Rick Santorum), and at least one is on the practice squad (think Michele Bachmann). But they are all suited up for team Plutocracy.

The common playbook reads as follows: Codify rule by the rich, legislate free ride tax breaks for billionaires, shred the social safety net, screw public education, destroy unions, starve the workforce into servitude and penury, and grind the rest into permanent submission to a life of destitution and poverty.

But it is so tired and predictable that even the most formerly committed or even clueless fans have figured it out. And they know it only gets us all thrown for big losses, every play. Many have even started to leave the stadium at half-time (think the Occupy movement) and most others stopped buying tickets last season.

All we need is for our signal caller to get on the same page with the rest of us, and stay out of their huddle (think Obama).