memo 3.21.05
good afternoon!
Best sign seen this weekend on a cat up for adoption: "He's polydactyl!"

1. Not good Monday news on the goldfish front. Arkana has received his or her Crown of Glory, leaving just Pete and Re-Peter rattling around in the big old fish tank by the window. Louis, who is in sore danger of taking on the nickname Gravedigger, came in over the weekend and discovered the body. To be honest, Pete and Re-Pete aren't looking so hot (or cold) either. These fish have an aerated tank, plenty of (but not too much) food, and all the lovin' good vibrations aimed at them you could possibly imagine. What is wrong?

Update: In the spirit of blogger transparency, MeMo reports that Arkana may not be morte but rather may be simply missing. Louis just called in this correction: When he was in on Saturday, there were three live fishes in the tank. Sunday, when Barbara examined it, there were only two. Someone took advantage of a window of opportunity to either steal a live fish or dispose of a dead one.

2. I was unaware that this commercial was done by Wes Anderson when it hit me spang in the face like a dead mackerel. Oh, sorry, fish dudes. But after watching an entire season of Deadwood (and, owing to my Poor Richard's Almanac-like lifestyle, which has yet to pay off healthy-, wealthy- and wise-wise.) and figuring out about zero percent of the plot, just figured out that Swearingen, the ugly-ass wild-eyed barkeep guy, is played by the formerly adorable Ian McShane.

a. Ah yes, but aren't you dying, given all the positive buzz, to watch the American version of The Office? I have a secret, selfish reason to want it to succeed: I've passed Steve Carell on the street. Admit it -- the famous person you've seen in the flesh is, automatically, your favorite famous person.

3. A belated shout-out to the plucky University of Vermont Catamounts*, who plucked an improbably NCAA victory from overtly orange 'Cuse on Friday, but then were plucked from the tournament by Michigan State, a team which may have virtues but absolutely does not have a plucky player named Taylor Coppenrath.

a. Daughter La Principessa goes to school in Vermont, if not exactly at Vermont, reports this was the biggest event since Howard Dean ate gravy fries at a Phish concert and Ethan Allen and the Green Mountain Boys shot the whole place up.b. Speaking of La Principessa, here is a phone conversation I have been saving up. She is reporting on a boy she has met. I am supposed to be working so I'm not paying complete attention. "He's a Cancer Dog," she says. Suddenly I snap back into the conversation. Cancer dog? He trains cancer dogs? Like seeing-eye dogs? He is one? I vamp for time. "Cancer dog?" I repeat.

5. Did you think Houston had a lot of coffee shops? It's not even on the list, which might mean coffee is a secret fat inhibitor, don't you think? Speculation is that places with really skunky, wet weather have more coffee shops, which makes sense if you don't include Southern California.

* A catamount is a mountain lion. You may wonder, as I do, whether there were ever mountain lions in Vermont. But as my dinner companion said when I mused over this, "There aren't any raptors in Toronto." All this time we thought Toronto Raptors were, like, birds of prey!