Dreadful Thoughts and Dreams of a Chaotic Pisckie Priest in the West of Scotland

Saturday, 26 April 2014

Grieving

It's new to me, this grieving, and I'm surprised. The emptiness, the desolation, loss, and cold comfort.

Of course, I thought I knew all about it, for hadn't I grieved and cried over many parishioners in the past that I loved dearly? And my mum had died 15 years ago, and I grieved. Well I thought I did! Then there were all the beloved dogs. Part of the family they were!

But this is different. It's my last parent, and I'm grieving both mum and dad in a way, and in a depth, I never thought possible. June will see me ordained 36 years, and I thought I understood the deepest of depths, but I was wrong. All the Alleluias in the world don't help, although they certainly got me through the process and through the Requiem.

The thing is that I don't want anyone or their kind words or hugs. I want to be on my own and remember both of them, and laugh and cry and sleep if I can.

The world goes on and we are in the Season of unremitting Joy! Sod that for a game of soldiers, but I know there will be an Easter morning for me. Sooner, rather than later, Lord!!!

About Me

Just a wee Episcopalian priest in the two best parishes in the West of Scotland. An avid, depressed Partick Thistle Nil Fan, and a Procrastinator of Distinction, with two dogs, two cats and a Rectory Wife, (The RW), I post bits for everyone, or sometimes nobody at all except me!