spending the weekend in jail. She had an
argument with her husband, who called
the police; Colorado law requires officers
to make an arrest whenever they re-
spond to a domestic dispute. The law is
intended to protect women from being
coerced into dropping charges, but in
this case the husband claimed that he
had been attacked. In the drugstore, the
woman is approached by half a dozen
neighbors who have read about the ar-
rest in the local newspaper.
"It's not what it sounds like," she tells
one elderly woman. "He's lying about
the whole thing, and he's going to get in
trouble for that."
They stand at the pharmacy coun-
ter. "It's terrible when I have the crim-
inal element in the store," Don jokes.
The young woman reads the police
blotter in the newspaper. "He said I at-
tacked him with a frying pan. He said I
hit him in the arm. If I'd attacked him
with a frying pan, I'd a hit him in the
head."
"Let me tell you what you should
do," the old woman says. She is in her
seventies, with curly white hair and a
sweet, grandmotherly smile. "Get you
" h " I ' 11
some wasp spray, s e says. t put
their eyes out."
" I ' h M b . ,
can t even ave ace, ecause It s
"
a weapon.
With the wisdom of age, the elderly
woman explains that wasp spray is not
classified as a weapon and is thus avail-
able to people who are out on bail. "It's
better than pepper spray," she says.
A while later, I see the young woman
cutting out the arrest listing. "This way,
if I' m ever stupid enough to think about
taking him back, I'll look at this," she
tells me. "I'll keep it in my scrapbook."
(Eventually, all charges were dropped,
and they divorced.)
At the store, Don never discusses
anyone's situation with a third party,
but he frequently mentions his own
problems. Twenty years ago, Kretha
was diagnosed with a rare degenerative
form of spina bifida, and now she
rarely leaves home. Their oldest son
flies F-16s for the Air Force, but their
daughter has struggled with alcohol-
ism. After she had difficulties caring
for her son, Gavin, Don and Kretha
took custody of the boy. Don often
mentions such issues to a customer. "If
I'm dealing with somebody who has an
alcoholic in the family, it helps for
them to know about my daughter," he
says. "You can't pretend that your fam-
ily is perfect. My daughter is not per-
fect, but she's trying." He continues,
"Almost all druggists in a small town
will tell you the same thing. You are
part and parcel of the community. No-
body' s better, nobody's worse."
I n Nucla, Wednesday is bowling-
league night. The local alley shut
down to the public long ago, because
there are so few people left, but the fa-
cility opens twice a week for community
leagues. The alley was built in 1962 and
all its equipment is original, with an ex-
uberant use of steel that you don't see
anymore: long, shiny Brunswick ball
racks, dining tables with heavy flared
legs. Scorecards advertise businesses
that have been dead for decades: Mira-
cle Roofing and Insulation, Sir Speedy
Instant Printing Center ("Instant Cop-
ies While You Wait!"). Don is the
league's president, and he certifies the
lanes every year. He took a course in
Montrose in order to be licensed to use
a bowling-lane micrometer.
Don's collection of certifications is
impressively esoteric. He has taken
CPR courses, and he's qualified to use
an electric defibrillator. He has a pyro-
technics-display license, so that Nucla
can have fireworks on the Fourth of
July. When he heard about a new type
of hormone therapy, he flew to Califor-
nia to attend two days of classes, and
now he compounds medicine for four
transgendered patients who live in var-
ious parts of the West. Every three
months, Don talks with them on the
phone and prepares their drugs; he finds
this interesting. On Friday nights, he
announces Nucla High football games.
They play eight-man ball, although if a
bigger school comes to town they
switch numbers with every possession,
so that each side can practice its plays.
When Nucla is on offense, it's eight-on-
eight, but it becomes eleven-on-eleven
when the other team has the ball. Oc-
casionally, somebody gets confused, and
Don's voice rings out over the loud-
speakers: "There's eleven white guys
and eight blue guys, and that won't
work." The football might not be first-
rate, but the players' names are a novel-
ist's dream. Nucla has Seth Knob, Chad
Fine Estate
Jewelry
(platinum, sapphire and diamond
c.1935-1955)
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Pendant brooch
$5,750
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No.8 Newbury Street, Boston, MA 02116
(617) 266-1858 · www.firestoneandparson.com
SWANN II
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Dox Thrash, Sunday Morning, etching, 1939.
Estimate $8,000 to $12,000.
AT AUCTION
African-American Fine Art
OCTOBER 6
Specialist: Nigel Freeman · nfreeman@swanngalleries.com
Preview: Oct 1,10-4; Oct 3-5,10-6; Oct 6, 10-noon
104 East 25th St, NY, NY 10010 · tel 212 254 4710
SWANNGALLERIES.COM lA{t
THE NEW YORKER, 5EPTEMBER 26,2011 81