Friday, June 18, 2010

“Escape From The Maws of Being A Pauper” by Matthew Harris

This tramp (epitomized in countless burlesque chaplinesque productions, dickensian tales, oil paintings some from the artistic hands of great masters and others from anonymous exquisite painters, et cetera) remembers nothing of his birth or childhood!

Past and now present existence seems a worse fate than death! The overpowering urge to survive la’chiam against the depredations of the grim reaper found the daily grind fending off real and imagined threats!

Yours truly dug deep within his bony strength to muster every last ounce of strength he could muster!

Although cursed with a most nefarious fate as a measly looking human varmint, this grimy, grungy, rangy, et cetera looking being clung with all the might within his five foot ten inch or so tall and one hundred and twenty five pound body!I tapped into survival skills and summoned willpower to stay alive and bear this heavy cross of a dirty poor poverty stricken existence!

No matter a hard-core skeptic at heart, this cynic plaintively called for divine intervention called to help this human piece of flotsam and jetsam to cope with living like a junkyard dog!

In essence, this ignored and shunned vagrant frequently raged against the machine and found figurative and literal bones to pick with demons that tormented his psyche.

While traipsing along the boulevard of broken dreams (when September came), a torn and well-worn shoe kicked a couple of items.

One comprised colorful jagged shard that in a previous lifetime housed some cheap fermented liquor!

Nothing but crud filled the remnant of what looked like a booze guzzling hounds favorite drink!

This solitary sojourner never felt drawn to drown out my sorrows by turning to the bottle, cigarettes nor drugs (a respect for thyself existed), an automatic reflex grabbed this eye-catching drunkard’s lost memento and the wireless device!

This other entity (as iterated) constituted a dullish metallic object, which turned out to be a heavily damaged MOTORAZR phone!

Out of some foolish embarrassed instinct, I cradled then rubbed this remnant once containing some amber liquid of the gods’!

In mockery against the cosmic consciousness, my mouth began jabbering away into the mobile phone!

No sooner did these chafed, coursed and cracked fingers slide across the unbroken surface of said bottle in tandem with parched lips uttering some plea, a crackle, snap and pop delivered a lifelike goddess!

The mp3 player began issuing syncopated beats indicative per some previous owner favorite play list tune on the former owner of this electronic contraption!

This vision and auditory music most definitely brought a sobered punch! I clapped these nearly deaf ears and thence rubbed mein kempf gnarled hands across myopic eyes!

A maiden suddenly appeared in plain view, which disbelief found me pretending to use said cell phone and speak in a matter of fact tone of voice!

She (in a lilting, melodic and sing song tone) responded with casualness as like a genie appears (Aladdin like) everyday. General conversation ensued (albeit fraught with a bit of apprehension and self consciousness) before the purpose of her presence became made clear.

Immediate difficulty arose to think of even one wish to abet grievous humiliation and immersion in misery!

Rather than blurt out the immediate favorite offering for untold riches, I surprised myself and communicated a desire for female friendship. A gamesome gal who would surrender herself for cries and whispers seemed more important than any pile of wealth!

Self absorbed in this rambling, jangling and longing of the body, mind and heart, I quickly became oblivious to this imaged or real corporeal presence, who spurred such an outpouring from this ostracized and unwanted vermin!

Eyes remained closed while loosening the tongue in an effort to picture the escape from pernicious malady and crushing blow of an abominable existence!

Lips shut tight also prevented the woebegone loss of what appeared as some divine trickster who conjured such a muse out of thin air!

Upon winding down this unrehearsed recitation, a painstaking effort got made to open the eyelids very slowly!

Lo and behold when this nattering noodle manifestation in the actual guise of a gorgeous gal stood still as a statue, and remained rapt with attention! Provenance and providence found pleasure in my prattle!

A promise got uttered to remain as my permanent lass to many who considered this writer nothing but a wretched pestilence of the earth!

Those comedy of errors leered at this kingpin of words that punctuated one anonymous life with angst riddled tragedy suddenly took a most pleasant unexpected turn and found that all’s well that ends well!

My virgin innocence, naiveté, and nonchalant cruise across the byways, country roads, and superhighways of this awesome yet tangled World Wide Web now found me sequestered within seventh heaven!

This frenzied, mad as hatter horny Caucasian hue colored man, now found himself pleasantly ensconced with a sexually excited woman who playfully grabbed, man-handled and pinned down this artfully flirtatious fellow!

Thine force-fed (without but a feeble protest) feasts of feverish foreplay found flaccid flesh to become primed for penultimate probing in the primary female plantation in the tropic of cancer!

Not only did this merry widow and wife of Windows 98 subject this gentle guy to pleasant and uninterrupted interludes of genital and orgiastic ecstasy (devoid of prophylactics for greater intensity of coital experiences), but each and every countless caress upon thy body politik per said gorgeous gal begged to be fondled ushering (from the chamber of pheromone secretes) that longed for infernal inferno of erotic exploits (to be appeased) that dwelled in this over active imagination.

No sooner did my lips mouth the pent up testosterone full laden bin to be unloaded from this principled pal then the Manichean forces rivaled between vice and virtue and contested each other to the death!

Temptation (in the actual corporeal form of this hot and sexy sizzling dame (with forked tongues thrusting within inserting distance) offered a long awaited opportunity to complacently and willingly succumb to that most natural and unbridled narcissistic urge to fornicate (from morning,noon until night)and relish the bacchanalian, orgiastic frenzy!

Needless to say, the long overdue hiatus and respite from an undeserved penile punishment of celibacy became a welcome relief, which hopefully (and adequately) explains the contents of this assay in ardor sans erotic essay that did foray and figuratively sashay into a fantasy felicitous fable!