Columnist Ben Adler fired off an unhinged diatribe on America’s favorite salad dressing – calling it “milk-rot” and warning that it could destroy Planet Earth.

“It’s disgusting,” the writer declared. “It tastes like exactly what it is, which is milk that’s halfway rotten. Why would anyone want to take something that they would throw out if they unexpectedly smelled it in their fridge and put that on their salad?”