HuffPost reports that friendless religious zealot Kirk Cameron thinks that all of the Category 5 terror that has been destroying parts of the world is a sure sign that his deity is angry at all of us. It’s because, in his estimation, we’re all Satan-worshipping slut sinners! Jennifer Lawrence would disagree. She sort of blames Trump. Well, Kurt, I checked with God, and she says “yo, wassup?” (who doesn’t love Empire Records?) as well as requesting that we don’t judge her by “that fool from Growing Pains.” I think she means Kirk and not Leonardo Dicaprio.

The skilled homosexual communication expert took a moment from his busy schedule of causing Alan Thicke to roll in his grave to film his deep thoughts on the weather while at an airport in Orlando, FL. Witnessing this mess in person would cause me to quietly and quickly get up from my seat at the gate and find the nearest airport bar. Kirk doesn’t think that all of these hurricanes are just a coincidence. You better hurry along, Kirk, because JesusActuallyHatesYou Airlines Flight 666 to Crazyville is now boarding.

“How should we look at two giant hurricanes coming back to back like this?” Cameron said in a video posted on his Facebook page. “Do we write them off as coincidence? Do we write it off as a statistical anomaly? Wow! Who would’ve thought? Is it just Mother Nature in a bad mood?”

Spoiler alert – Kirk doesn’t believe it’s any of those things. He thinks that hurricanes and other meteorological phenomena are “a spectacular display of God’s immense power.”

When he puts his power on display, it’s never without reason. There’s a purpose. And we may not always understand what that purpose is, but we know it’s not random, and we know that weather is sent to cause us to respond to God in humility, awe, and repentance.

Translation: God is sending devastating weather because some of you don’t live a joyless, repressed life full of torment and guilt. I’m sure those affected by Harvey and Irma are happy to know it was all their fault.

How much longer do we have to endure this attention-sucking sad-ass? How much longer are we going to have to pay for Kurt not being able to make the jump from sitcoms to movies? HOW MUCH LONGER ARE WE GOING TO HAVE TO PAY FOR KIRK KEEPING A JEALOUSY DART BOARD WITH A PICTURE OF GEORGE CLOONEY TACKED TO IT OVER HIS BIBLE-SHAPED BED WITH THE CENTER FENCING TO PREVENT HE AND HIS WIFE FROM HAVING SEX NOT INTENDED FOR PROCREATION? Kirk, have a Jared special (the sub, not underaged girls) and STFU.

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