My Dear Husband

I always thought that husband meant partner, but you have become a dictator in our relationship. How drastically you have changed from the man who stood next to me as we exchanged our solemn vows. I don’t even recognize you on days like this, where is that man that swore his love eternal? Now you make decisions for yourself with no regard on how it will effect me and our children and if I dare to have an opinion you tell me that I can either deal with it or leave. But don’t you see that I can’t? My heart beats to the echo of your name and even when you shut yourself off to me I still bleed with love for you. If only I could rip my heart from my chest or turn as cold and unfeeling as you’ve become in your moments of anger, maybe then these tears would cease and this hurt and confusion subside. Oh, but how you love me when the mood is right! The way you wash my hair, or make me breakfast in bed, dance with me in the rain, or make love to me under the stars. You push me away and then reel me back in, a drug that has me feeling so high only to drop me later into the depths of despair. Oh how I hate to love you on days like today where I’m left feeling small and insignificant having been reprimanded like a child. Today you are a stranger to me, I don’t recognize you at all, and worse, I don’t even recognize myself.