(Closed) ouch

So please tell me if i am over reacting. Me and my bf were at my grandpas 90th birthday. Around a lot of family. Me and one of my sisters (have 2 both married with kids)got on the topic of baby names. I have said before in front of the bf that i love my last name for a first name. he hates the idea but isnt the point. the point is it was a light hearted conversation that was all hypothetical. My bf didnt like the conversation very much. i asked him what was the problem and he said he dosent want people getting the wrong idea. thinking things or talking about things.. i almost started crying because we have already told each other that we were the one for each other. i understand he dosent like to feel presure but i just feel the longer he waits the more presure hes gonna get. When he told me why he was upset i waned to say so who cares what people say were gonna be getting married anyways. I didint say that i said i understood but im not going to appoligize for being excited a

I would probe him to see what he meant by people getting “the wrong idea.” Maybe he was afraid your family would get the idea that you guys were planning to have kids in 1-2 years and he didn’t want that. Of course that’s silly because it sounds like it was just a light-hearted hypothetical discussion about names. Maybe you could reassure him that you’re NOT looking to have babies ASAP and are willing to wait until you’re both ready (assuming that’s true!).

I don’t think you should read into it too much. A lot of times guys say stuff in passing or without thinking what a woman might read from that. It may have been that because he hasn’t proposed and kids came up with your family, it made him feel nervous. Maybe he wants to get actually get to the proposal first and then will feel more comfortable talking with your family about kids.

Talk to him about it if it keeps bothering you. Communication always keeps the miscommunications to a minimum in my opinion. And you don’t want to drive yourself crazy by continuing to dwell on it.

Sorry you’re feeling low, but I agree with the other posters that more than likely he didn’t mean anything negative by that. He probably was just feeling a little overwhelmed with the family stuff going on. And you mentioned that it was a casual, lighthearted discussion with your family members, but his family may have an entirely different way of relating.

Most guys don’t want to feel pressured about anything, ever, let alone something as serious as getting engaged. I’m sure he loves you dearly but he may be one of those shy guys who doesn’t want other people knowing how he feels.

Try talking to him when you’re calm and let him know what he said stung a little and you want to understand where he’s coming from. It couldn’t hurt to “apologize” for the fact that he may have felt a little uncomfortable and you can clear it up for him that it wasn’t meant to be a serious conversation.

It sounds like a minor misunderstanding. I hope so, for your sake. I wish you the best!