She calls back with a plan to see a pediatric GI specialist. Who is in Milwaukee. Because GB doesn't have one. And Milwaukee is 2 hours away.

No problemo. A bunch of schedule re-working, and my boy and I were on our way this morning.

The specialist walks in and announces: "So, why aren't you treating your son for giardia?"

Say what? I tell him what the ped's office tells me, and he points to the test results. All I see are "Giardia" and "POSITIVE," with the POSITIVE being in all capital letters.

Now, I'm pretty sure POSITIVE isn't secret code for something else. I'm kinda an expert in secret code (like when my kids say to his siblings: "Hey guys! Watch our Old Mama dive off the diving board! I didn't know old mama's can do that!" I know that the secret code for Old Mama is Smoking Hot Buff Woman Who You Would Never Guess Has 5 Kids. Right? Right! It's like I majored in it or something. Not really. It just comes naturally.)

So, we end up with an aggressive treatment plan for this whole gross giardia business, all done in the comfort of a (pretty cute) specialist's office only 121 miles away from home despite the fact that the testing was done in the comfort of an office only 5 miles away from my home. But whatever. The plan is aggressive, and we're ready for action.

Which, in the end (and for Mr. Stinky Pant's (rear) end), is all that matters.

You have to forgive me for all my juvenile butt jokes. It's kinda hard to stop myself because laughter is the only way to survive such grossness.

But you know what? I actually found a huge silver lining in all of this.

My poor kid has had giardia, a highly, nastily contagious condition, in my home for 23 months.

So idiot nurse must have mistaken the word POSITIVE, as hey, it's good news, no giardia.

But this dr. office story reminds me of what happend when marc and I were going thru our medical tests for the adoption of the little boys. We had to go and have our Syphillis tests done and when the nurse called to tell me we were both free and clear of the disease, I told her I had kind of thought they would be and her response caught me cold and then I burst into a psych ward, crazy person laugh. She told me, "Well good for you" in this happy, chipper, put-a-way-your-hooker-heels-and-quit-whoring kind of upbeat voice.

Sarah, I laughed outloud at this post! Believe me girl, laughing "with you" not "at you". Call me juvenile, but I LOVED all the butt jokes...still laughing here, I am surprised I didn't wake my husband. Soooo happy you are finally getting to the "bottom" of this...LOL! I am sorry, I think I am overtired.Now to get to the bottom of that ped. office...something definitely stinks there! Sara E

The 5FC Crew

About Me

5 kids, 2 dogs, 3 cats, and I'll pass on the partridge in the pear tree for now, thanks (although I'd take a pear tree.) We survived our 30 month long Haitian adoption process, and now I just try to live life in the moment, whether it's homeschooling, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, refereeing, bandaging ouchies, giving hugs, vacuuming, doling out kisses, picking up play-dough, or attempting to keep up on the blog. My Mister is a legalized drug pusher, saving the local population from the horrors of herpes and prostrate problems. We put up with the burbs for now, but would one day like to live in the country, where I can raise alpacas, the girls can train dogs, our boys can be boys, and Mr. C. can work on project cars (waaayy out of sight in the far back of the yard) to his heart's content!