[Recap]: ‘Real Housewives of Atlanta’ Episode 12

Last night’s episode of ‘Real Housewives of Atlanta’ ended in a “Talls vs The Smalls” brawl. What began as an innocent plane ride erupted into the show down in Cape Town.

The episode begins with fun videos shot by Cynthia on the plane. We learn from NeNe that taking off make-up apparently removes an eyebrow as well. Once they’ve landed, there’s an interesting tussle with all 900 pieces of luggage. It takes several minutes for these Tetris queens to figure out there is just no more room in the elevator. Exhausted Kandi says, “The elevator will come right back down, I promise that’s how it works. It goes up and goes back down.”

Marlo talks everyone’s ear off about etiquette in the car ride. She emphasizes the importance of passing the salt correctly and how to eat bread. Apparently, no part of her etiquette training suggested she should RSVP for an international trip and not making complaints about having to share a bathroom. After arriving at their beautiful penthouse, the ladies make V8 spalsh mimosas and seem to forget their annoyances on the car ride over.

Breakfast the next morning is clearly divided. We have Marlo, Nene and Cynthia in African prints, shades and silks on one side. On the other side we have Sheree, Phaedra, and Kandi in PINK sweat pants and Wal-mart tank tops. After Phaedra passes out gifts to everyone, except the unexpected plus one – Marlo, awkwardness settles over the table. Sheree ignites the powder keg when she announces that only Kandi and Phaedra are invited to dinner at Sheree’s friend’s house that evening. As Cynthia said, “I didn’t anticipate the shade this early in the morning.”

Phaedra has kindly arranged a yacht cruise for the group and it starts out rather peaceful. Of course all peace is interrupted with tips from Marlo’s mysterious etiquette book. The women miss a prime opportunity to let her fall overboard in her stilettos as they make their way inside. Cynthia’s Moesha-esq microbraids give her the super power to have a backbone as she initiates a conversation to ‘lay it all out on the table.’ Without disclosing too many details, we get a sort of truce between Sheree and Nene, Marlo and Kandi and Nene and Phaedra. All seems forgiven or at least expressed.

Back at the pent house, Kandi, Sheree and Phaedra all prepare to leave for the party. Cynthia appears to formally invite the trio to another restaurant as a good-faith formality. The trio declines due to their other prior engagement. Sheree decides to invite Cynthia to her friend’s party after all but does express that Marlo and Nene are not invited. Like a school girl, Cynthia runs back to the other bedroom and retells the story. Nene is passive and notes that she wouldn’t invite Sheree to anything either because they are not close. Marlo decides that although she wasn’t invited to the trip, nor does she speak to Sheree often, that she still feels slighted for not being invited.

Marlo rushes to the other bedroom and asks Sheree if she was invited. After learning that she was indeed not invited, Marlo turns to make her exit gracefully. “That’s why you don’t have a husband. Go on with those ugly a** b*tches,” and she turns to go out the door.

The argument continues with various assaults on piles of dirt that will never be houses, felonies, and a mysterious sugar daddy. Sheree calls Marlo out on her past men and the source of her money, while Marlo doubts Sheree’s financial status with two cars and no house.

As the two argue about who came up with less after attempting to marry rich, Nene is surprisingly the peace maker. She talks calmly and logically but there is no breaking up Sheree and Marlo. There are no punches thrown but the argument ended in some high-pitched, non-articulate, voice performed by both women that was only reminiscent of the sounds you get when you fast forward a video.

Even with next week’s preview, it doesn’t look like the arguments will die down any time soon. Hopefully no one ends up hurt since we have all heard about Marlo’s unscrupulous past.

“Google me and check my charges,” Marlo proclaimed.

Perhaps she skipped the “what to say when you are an ex-con” chapter in her etiquette book.