Brady: She doesn't want me to tell anyone that she's...Brandi: THAT I'M PLANNING A SURPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR CHILDREN WITH CUTE BUT SAD DISEASES.Brady: Wait, but you said...Brandi: SHUT THE FUCK UP BRADY.

Hey, Cecilia... what's up?

Cecilia: What does it look like?

I see you've moved in with Neil and Victoria. How's that working out for you?

Cecilia: I have my own bathroom, and my door locks, and they're both gone all day so nobody knows if I skip school .

That's... good? So... where you going with that?

Oh. Oh, I see.

Jerry: WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE DOING, MAN?

I think she's punishing you for being a lousy boyfriend for her sister?

Sorry about the chemo treatment, but I wanted to get a better look at your evil genetics. Check out those weird lumps on your chin!

Chelsea: Less talk about my deformities, more action to correct them, okay?

Okay!

Chelsea: Yes! I'm hot now! Am I hot now? I'm hot now, right?

It's hard to tell without hair and makeup.

I think the way everyone is staring at you might be promising, though.

Hell yeah.

Cameron prefers to socialize in bulk.

Cameron: Sometimes they talk to each other and I can tune out completely!

Oh dude, I love it when that happens.

No! Don't steal our windows! Bad gypsy!

Oh. Oh, okay. Magic lamp. Right. Gotcha. Cool. Thanks!

Man. Rishell is a BEAST. Of BURDEN, even!

Rishell: I hate that song.

That's called "having good taste."

Apparently narcolepsy is less a condition than a single-host demon.

Tyler: What the hell is wrong with this kid?

Just do your job, dude.

Everyone: Woo! Yeah! Show us your tits!Roger: Guys, she's... not really that good looking.

We'll see about THAT!

WHOAH. Oh. Oops.

Cameron: What? What's wrong?

Nothing! Nothing at all!

I'll leave you in suspense about Cameron's face for now, and give you a closer look at Chelsea's instead. Because she wants to become a famous Visionary Artist, she'd damn well better start showing some signs of mental and sexual instability soon; hence the outfit.

Nevertheless, she doesn't often feel obligated to wear it.

I bet they raise the rates on this dorm for everyone but Chelsea, and I bet nobody complains.

About time. She's been horse sleeping in front of this bookshelf for three solid days now.

Head toward the lightbulbs, Lisa! Head toward the lightbulbs!

Lisa: Aww, Karen, don't cry! YOU'RE NEXT.

Jace: THIS DORM IS AWESOME.

Don't I know you?

Ash Thomason: Ash Thomason, Secret Society.

Heh, calm down there buddy. You say that like it's "Secret Service," like you've got some nefarious purpose for moving in here or something.

Ash: TAKE THE SHOT! HE KNOWS TOO MUCH!

Tips for dealing with obnoxious coaches, part two: Influence them to Bathe. They might glitch out and walk into the women's washroom, and then be completely unable to leave because they suddenly can't use female-only doors!

Andrew: If this is about the hole in the women's shower wall, I want you to know that I was framed. By the women. They're anarchic exhibitionists, it's really weird and sick.

Andrew: Okay, judging by your silence I may have said too much. Is this about the girl I accidentally had sex with in first year? Because I still have no idea how she got under me.

Chelsea: Where are you going, dressed like that?Andrew: Home. I just graduated.Chelsea: Dressed like that, she repeated.Andrew: Are belly shirts not “in” this year?

Vanessa: So Andrew… how’s about you and me…Andrew: How’s about we don’t.Vanessa: I didn’t even finish my sentence!Andrew: And you think that matters to my response?

Andrew: What a fruit loop! I'm already engaged to the hottest chick in the world!

What? Who?

Andrew: Um… Chelsea? Surely you got a picture!

Oh! Um… well… of course!

Vanessa: Can we please focus on my nervous breakdown?

I'd be pretty upset if someone dressed like THAT rejected me, too.

Where’d all this crap come from?

Vanessa: My inventory.

And why did it come out of your inventory?

Vanessa: I want to make sure it all burns up properly.

Huh?

Now wait, wait a second! Andrew’s not exactly batting a thousand on the “saving burning people from death” statistic!

Vanessa: That’s okay, I’m not really expecting him to, especially with my dresser in front of the door.

So… you’re killing yourself.

Vanessa: The way I see it, maybe somebody will resurrect me fifty years from now when all the scary people are dead.

What a ghetto time machine. That can't seriously be the reason.

Vanessa: Maybe you're tired of playing so many Sims?

Alright, well... what’s with the dress?

Vanessa: I always wanted to leave a good-looking pile of ashes.

Vanessa: Time to let ‘er rip!

Not even gonna leave a note?

Vanessa: I think my whole room burned to a crisp says pretty much everything that needs to be said.

Vanessa: What a civilized, dignified way to go.

Vanessa: AUUUUUUGH FUCK SHIT PISS I’M ON FIRE!

Yeah, I didn’t want to point out that one rather obvious drawback of your plan.

Vanessa: MY EYEBALLS ARE POPPING

That’s lovely.

Vanessa: THEY SMELL LIKE MICROWAVED EGGS

That’s lovely.

What makes this otherwise poignant picture kind of hilarious in retrospect is that I later realized it was a picture of VIRGINIA, not Vanessa.

"I killed myself because you read a book to my sister!"

Pretty funny, huh guys?

Virginia: I just lost my sister! Andrew: I rejected her just before she killed herself! Don: I rejected her just before she killed herself too!Andrew: What? Seriously?Douchebag in the Background: I’m a douchebag in the background!

Andrew: Quick, the door’s clear OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS THISShannon: WHY WAS SHE KEEPING SO MUCH FIRE IN HERE

The Grim Reaper: I’M PRETTY SURE THIS PILE RIGHT HERE IS THE BLONDE ONE, BUT WHERE’S THE REDHEAD?Andrew: Huh? What redhead?

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!

Alright Don, off to the Secret Society! This will not stand.

Don: So… how much does it cost to resurrect someone properly?

I’m not really sure.

Don: Alright, I’ll test it out with three thousand bucks. If it costs any more than that, your girls is stayin’ dead.

Melanie: No. He should have left me dead because NOW I’M GOING TO EAT THE ENTIRE WORLD.

You don’t look too worried, dude.

Trevor: Zombies can’t make you a zombie.

Um… yeah. About that. I downloaded this mod a while back…

Melissa Dalton: He looks like he needs a drink.

I dunno, from where I’m standing it looks more like he needs some braaaaaiiiinnnnsssss.

Alvin Howe: This society has a strict no-zombie rule!

Roger Custer: On account of the fact that I feel like I’m about to become a zombie, I’m thinking we should take a vote on overturning that rule.Amin Bruty: Can the zombie apocalypse wait until after I’m done my homework?Trevor: .oO(Amin is so badass!)

Roger: How about a good old-fashioned forwards piledriver, Chris?!

Kevin: DUDE. Dudes don’t touch each other in the BATHROOM, dude. That is TOTALLY against the dude code.

Don: Hey guys! What's happening? Awesome! Glad to hear it.

Don: I’ma go to class, but I’ll catch you slouches later.

Roger is proving to be an excellent agent of the swarm.

Amin is still standing tall.

Amin: LET THEM COME.

They come. And they hunger.

Melanie: He will make an excellent drone.

Amin: You can take your drone and shove it up your ass, queenie!

Alvin: THERE ARE NO QUEENS IN A CONSTITUTIONAL DEMOCRACY

Amin: Zombies aren’t a constitutional democracy. They’re more like a really slow riot gone wrong.Melanie: Good, because “Queen of the Zombies” has a really nice ring to it!

Melanie: If it isn’t the zombiefather himself! I think it’s high time we thanked you for our new and exciting un-lives!

The Dromedarian Association Zomband has been playing for a few hours now. (Thanks go out to my friend Ben for that term.) The lineup is mostly fluid, but for some strange reason Chris can shred on that guitar for days.