happy for no reason

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Scientific studies have shown that each one of us has our own ‘happiness set point’. This means that no matter what happens to us, we are pre-programmed to return to a particular level of happiness within 12 months. So even if you have a tragic event happen, or an out of this world fabulous event, it is highly likely that within a period of 12 months you will return to the same level of happiness you were at before the event occurred.

This happiness set point is determined 50% by your DNA and 50% by your environment and your programmed responses to it. So you may have been fortunate enough, like myself, to come in with a happy disposition already present in your personality, or you may have been born with a more serious nature that finds happiness more difficult.

The good news is, that no matter what your DNA dictates, you have complete control over the other 50% of your level of happiness and you can reprogram yourself to be happy, no matter what.

There is a fabulous book by Marci Schimoff called “Happy For No Reason”. In this book Marci has interviewed 100 of the happiest people in the world to determine what the common underlying theme was for all these people. She then goes on to give practical tips and exercises to help you to raise your happiness set point and learn how to be ‘Happy for No Reason’. I highly recommend this book.

For most of us, we’re expecting our external conditions to all fall into perfect place before we are happy. We have made our happiness conditional. At first inspection, this seems perfectly reasonable and you’re probably wondering how on earth you can be happy if things aren’t going well for you. Well, the truth is, true happiness is unconditional. It comes from a place within us and is not reliant on external conditions to be present. It is already there, we just have to let go of all the crap that’s covering it up to feel happy.

Now I know you’re probably thinking, ‘But you don’t know what my life’s like. If you knew how much crap I’ve got going on, you’d know that I could never be happy.” And I understand why you feel that way.

Many people are suffering some grave situations right now and it may seem impossible to be happy even when things look so grave. But believe me, it’s possible to be happy no matter what. It’s all about making a different choice and choosing to be happy regardless of whatever else is going on in your life.

I understand even the concept of this can be difficult to wrap your mind around let alone know how to achieve this utopian ideal of happiness and bliss regardless of what’s going on in your life. And no, I am not on drugs. Never have, nor will I ever take drugs to achieve an altered mind state because I know that I can do it without artificial aids and it’s sooooooo much better without all the lethal consequences.

The fact is that our brain is wired to focus on the negative and that’s what makes us unhappy. All of us have reasons to be sad, angry, frustrated, upset, overwhelmed, etc. The truth is everybody also has reasons to be happy, even when you feel like you don’t, and it’s the people who look beyond the negative stuff in their lives and focus on the reasons they have to be happy that are the happiest of all.

It’s not about ignoring the bad stuff, it’s about making it less important than the good stuff. You are supposed to feel good. And when you change the way you think, you can. It won’t happy instantly as you’re training your brain a new way of being, but it will all be worth it if you stick with it.

So following you will find an Emotional Freedom Technique sequence which, when used frequently, will help you to be happier more often and regardless of what’s happening in your life.

So firstly I want you to rate this phrase on a scale of 0 (not true for you) and 10 (the most true it could possibly be).

“I can’t be happy until my life is perfect and everything works”

Karate Chop:

Even though I know I won’t be happy until all my problems are solved and things turn out the way I want them to, I choose to accept how my life is right now.

Even though I can’t be happy until my life is sorted and I get what I want, I deeply and completely love and accept who I am and how I feel.

Even though I’m never happy because my life sucks and I can’t imagine being happy with the problems I have, I accept how my life is and how I feel about it.

Eyebrow: My life sucks and I’ve got nothing to be happy about

Outside Eye: Everything’s wrong with my life

Under Eye: How could I possibly be happy with my life as it is

Under Nose: I don’t even believe happiness exists

Chin: How can it when everything is in the toilet

Collar Bone: I can’t see any reason to be happy

Under Arm: I’m always struggling and nothing works out

Top of Head: I have all these problems

Eyebrow: My life is in chaos

Outside Eye: I’ve got plenty of reasons not to be happy

Under Eye: If she took a walk in my shoes, she’d know why I can’t be happy

Under Nose: Every day is a struggle just to get through it

Chin: Even thinking about trying to be happy makes me sad

Collar Bone: I feel so sad by what’s going on in my life

Under Arm: I feel depressed when I look at my life

Top of Head: I am over being sad and unhappy

Eyebrow: But I don’t have a choice

Outside Eye: There’s no way I could be happy with they way things are

Under Eye: What a ridiculous idea

Under Nose: I can’t remember the last time I was really happy

Chin: Until my life improves, there is no way I can feel happy

Collar Bone: I have too much to be sad and angry and frustrated about

Under Arm: Don’t talk to me about happiness!

Top of Head: I can’t be happy until my life is perfect and everything works

Now take a deep breath and go back and rate the statement:

“I can’t be happy until my life is perfect and everything works”

Keep tapping on those phrases or ones that work for you until you bring that rating down to at least a 2 before moving on to the positive tapping phrase below.

Now take a few minutes to make a list of 10 reasons that you could be happy about. They don’t need to be earth shattering. Just choose some little things like the air you breathe, that you have a house to live in, that you woke up this morning, that it’s a beautiful day, that you have found EFT, that you are able to read this article. Simple, everyday things that you could be happy about.

Karate Chop:

Even though I still can’t image being happy because my life really sucks, I am open to feeling just a little bit happier right now.

Even though I have so many reasons not to be happy, I’m willing to look for reasons I could be happy and focus on those instead.

Even though I can’t remember the last time I was really happy, and no wonder considering all the crap that’s gone on in my life, I choose to relax and be open to finding reasons to feel even just a little bit happy.

Eyebrow: I have so many reasons not to be happy

Outside Eye: And I can’t imagine feeling happiness right now

Under Eye: Maybe I have some things in my life to be happy about

Under Nose: But there are many more reasons to be unhappy

Chin: What if I focused on the happy stuff

Collar Bone: Maybe I could feel a little bit happier

Under Arm: But the bad stuff is so overwhelming

Top of Head: What if I could be happy even with all this crap in my life

Eyebrow: Wouldn’t it be nice if I could feel happy right now

Outside Eye: I give myself permission to be just a little bit happy

Under Eye: Even though my life is such a mess

Under Nose: I choose to feel a little bit happier right now

Chin: I resolve to focus on the things I can be happy about

Collar Bone: I love knowing that underneath all these bad feelings

Under Arm: There is a happy me waiting to be discovered

Top of Head: I give myself permission to be happy no matter what

Eyebrow: I choose to feel a little bit happier right now

Outside Eye: I give myself permission to be happy right now

Under Eye: I love the thought of feeling happy no matter what

Under Nose: Even though I’ve still got heaps of reasons to be unhappy

Chin: I’ve also got plenty of reasons to be happy

Collar Bone: I choose to focus on those and allow myself to be a little bit happier

Under Arm: I love feeling good about myself and feeling happy inside

Top of Head: I have so many reasons to be happy and I choose to focus on those.

And take a deep breath and rate the statement again:

“I can’t be happy until my life is perfect and everything works”

The more you work with this kind of EFT tapping sequence, the better your life will appear to be and the happier you will be.