..Data should be programmed understand the subtleties of consent, right? It was clear to me that Data was under the impression it was a fully consenting invitation.

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Yes, I mean, I recall Data's "mother" seeing him going to visit Troi in that one episode, and she gets the wrong impression that his sexuality program is working (of course, DAta's intent in visiting her was nothing like that though). I imagine that would include things like consent, not just the capacity to perform the act itself.

I thought the episode was implying that Tasha was *already* secretly attracted to Data, that's why she chose him. As for Data's immaturity, yeah, but he's not going to have the same emotional response to sex as a human and I think in this case it's perfectly ok to think of him as an adult male, if this is implying that Yar took advantage of him. I don't think Data could take advantage of Yar because he really didn't seem interested in having sex with the women he's around, she initiated, I think he was just going along with what he thought she wanted.

And as for Tash'a saying "It never happened!" I think that's more that she was embarrassed by acting strangely while intoxicatd, not that she was overly horrified at the idea of having sex with Data. It's been a while since I watched that ep, though, can't recall too many details.

I always found that scene and the follow up to be really uncomfortable.
I see Data as the one who was taken advantage of. He did seem pretty immature, even child like, in his reactions, so it does feel like he was abused. I mostly don't really blame Tasha due to her impaired state of mind. The "bad touch" feel of the whole thing is worse because of the way Tasha takes this attitude of "don't tell". It's open to interpretation, but I still find it creepy.
In no way do I think Data took advantage of her. She was the aggresser and the more experienced party. If the genders had been reversed and a "drunk" man took the virginity of an innocent female android and then pressured her to keep it a secret, I think people would see this differently.

I refuse to fault Tasha for "use" when that android got the better part of the bargain, by far. And if it feels that good being used, then use me, Tasha ... until you use me up.

You know ... one might've suspected that Data's investigations into - and experiments with -Human relationships would've included some attempt at Homosexuality - that's only speaking to the "truth" of the character, now. Would it even be possible for a machine to actually have a sexual preference, without the instinct to reproduce, as we have? It doesn't make a lot of sense.

Granted, I cannot see Brent Spiner being interested, personally, in a kissing scene with another man, but that never had to happen onscreen, anyway, and I am actually happy that this wasn't explored. But many have decried the lack of gays on STAR TREK and I think Data should've been the character, if any, to explore this openly ... (and not metaphorically, as Riker had with his gender neutral lover).

I don't think that Data got the better part of the bargain. Data, in his own quirky way, is kind of cute.
I agree it seemed short sighted that Data's exploration into love and sex was strictly heterosexual. I'd think Data wouldn't have a human limited sexual orientation. I've theorized that Soong gave him this limit, to give Data his own heterosexual orientation. The man is kind of an egomaniac, and he made Data in his own image, so I can imagine he wanted Data, and Lore, to have the same orientation he had.
Now, on the subject of Spiner being interested in kissing another man...just remember, I didn't bring this up. I always had the impression that Spiner would be interested in kissing another man. Besides, they are actors. Doing love scenes aren't about the actor's sexual interests.
For what it's worth, Frakes wanted a male actor to play the role of his gender neutral lover but tptb insisted on casting a female. For their special metaphorical gay story.