Woods announced Wednesday that he “hopes” to make his long-awaited return to competition Oct. 13-16 at the PGA Tour’s Safeway Open in Napa, Calif.

The Tour’s season opener will be the first of three events that Woods will play before the end of the year: He also intends to tee it up in the Turkish Airlines Open (Nov. 3-6) and Hero World Challenge (Dec. 1-4).

“My rehabilitation is to the point where I’m comfortbale making plans, but I still have work to do,” he said in a statement released on his website. “Whether I can play depends on my continued progress and recovery. My hope is to have my game ready to go.”

You hear that? He “hopes” to make his long-awaited return. This isn’t Tiger playing nine on a simulator in his sweats or dunking three consecutive 100-yard tee shots into the drink during a charity event; we’re talking about some of the highest profile tournaments of the year in the Safeway Open and Hero World Challenge that he “hopes” to play in. The Masters of Napa Valley and Albany respectively.

That’s good enough for me. Tiger’s officially back.

I can see it now. Tiger starts slow Thursday, stirs up excitement with a bounce back round Friday to make the cut, falls off Saturday and withdraws — citing back problems. This becomes an annual event, we get more jazzed up with each improbable return, and I’ll buy in like a battered housewife thinking this time around with her man is going to be different. Welcome back, Tiggy. .

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Dan Regester@Dan_Regester is a Senior Writer and Video Guy for Grandex Media. Delco trash. UCF alum. Famous FIJI on Wikipedia. Bit of a gambling problem. Advocate of shipping the homeless to Mars. Email tips to Dan@totalfratmove.com

No, no he’s not. Rather than jerking off while you listen to his voicemails wishing they were to you and writing some bullshit article, why don’t you get a breast reduction surgery and get Fail Friday back.

What tigers going through is pretty relatable to a lot of fifth years out there. His reputation is so shitty that he can no longer pull any girl who’s ever heard of his name before and that’s driven him crazy enough to start affecting other aspects of his life. Finding the real world equivalent of naive freshman girls is his only hope to be good again.

Until he comes back, misses a few cuts, realizes he still sucks and comes down with another “back injury”. Can wait til ESPN makes a big deal about this has-been that hasn’t won a real tournament in eight years.