In The Village

You know how they say “it takes a village to raise a child”? Well, it may not be a “rule” – I mean, we made the decision to move our son to a town where we knew exactly no one, and it’s been great in many ways, if sometimes challenging – but having someone who gets exactly what you’re going through standing right there next to you so you can do the raising together? It’s not just “easier.” Or “more manageable.”

It’s those things, yes…but mostly it just makes it easier to laugh at the things that can feel not-so-funny when you’re all on your own.

When Morgan and I were talking on the phone last week and decided that I’d get on a flight and come to San Francisco for a few days, it was about more than just “wanting” to spend some time together. Both of us were in a moment where we were feeling something that went beyond “overwhelmed” and straight into “I can’t do this” territory, and I think we both needed to see that it was okay and that how we were feeling was not just fine, but normal, and have someone to look at when all three of our children started screaming at the top of their lungs in unison about nothing at all…and crack up.

I’ve laughed so much these past few days.

Having three children under two (one just seven weeks old; she’s pictured above snuggled up in the blanket I made for her a few months ago) to watch between the two of us has certainly been a lot of work, but there is so much to be said for knowing that there’s another set of eyes, another pair of hands, someone else to make crazy faces at your kid when he’s crying and your own crazy faces aren’t doing the trick. Someone else to hold the baby while you fill the sippy cups, someone else to read book after book about trucks so you can take an uninterrupted shower that involves leave-in treatments, someone to sing The Elmo Song with at the top of your lungs while driving down the highway.

Someone who understands that 8:45PM is a completely normal time to go to bed, who will hire a babysitter to hit up the spa and a Chinese restaurant with you because oh my god, that sounds amazing…

…but who also thinks it’s honestly just as much fun to spend an afternoon hanging out at the Discovery Museum with a bunch of trains and turtles.