Jake is sad because his Dabo girl girlfriend is off to university. Sisko tells him he might find someone at the BAJORAN GRATITUTE FESTIVAL (thanks for the exposition, dad). Meanwhile, O'Brien is drinking excessive amounts of coffee, and Bashir observes that he's sexually frustrated because Keiko's been away. TMI. Also, Odo obviously fancies Kira because of the SUBTLE clues there. She's meeting up with Bareil, who arrives on the same shuttle as Keiko, Molly (hasn't she grown like a weed?) and (sigh) Lwaxana Troi.

Lwaxana drops in to Security to put The Moves on Odo. Poor, poor Odo. Bareil tells Kira that office has changed Kai "batshit" Winn, which seems somewhat unlikely. Inter-marital relations are somewhat strained at the O'Briens'.

Finally we get to the start of festival, which appears to involve Kira using chemistry to light a fire and then throwing in a scroll. Shortly afterwards, Jake proclaims his love for Kira to her., Bareil comes on to Dax, and Lwaxana attempts to molestdance with Odo. Quark is, of coursr, trying to sell things. Keiko breaks it to O'Brien that the project she's on is taking longer than she thought, which leads to a fight.

Sisko has a talk with his son about Kira and... yeah. Jake's unconvinced by the theory that it's a crush. Quark tries to tell O'Brien that the Ferengi way of treating women as property is much better, but he resolves to get Keiko back.

Kira tries to get randy with Bareil, but he's obviously pining for Dax. Dax tells Sisko about how Bareil's been, and he says he'll break the news to Kira. At which point Dax practically jumps into his lap. He drags her to sickbay, where Bashir checks her out and says she's fine.

O'Brien apologises to Keiko through the bedroom door, and tells her he's resigned from Starfleet so he can be with her. Kira mentions Bareil and Jake to Bashir, and the pair head towards the infirmary, where they immediately start snogging.

The hijinks continue, and Sisko tells Odo to fetch Bashir. Odo, of course, walks in on Bashir and Kira snogging. Keiko fortunately reunites with O'Brien, shortly before the fistfights start to break out. Sisko and Odo observe how Quark passes Lwaxana, appears to suffer a headache, and immediately start coming onto Keiko (at least until O'Brien hits him). Bashir checks Lwaxana and discovers she has Zanthi Fever, which is causing the strange effect.

Keiko and Molly leave for Bajor again, and O'Brien goes with Bashir to work on his sexual frustration (TMI).