Silent Thought

Silent Thought 2

Life have knocked each one of us down in a way. Some of us faced it and found a way back up. Others got trapped for a while, but at the end life goes on and those who were weak at some point learned to be strong.

Both sides went through hardships and different feelings took over at the time. Let me walk you through some of the thoughts and feelings that striked my brain through a harsh period that got me sinking into our life's fantasy.

Well, let me start with the great saying of; fight, risk it, fall, stand up and go on. This is what we always hear every time, but little did they know that when you fall; you bruise. Not only that, but you also break bits and pieces of every bone each time you hit the ground.

However, the problem is that those bruises are unseen, only you can feel the pain. That pain aches so much that sometimes you feel the urge to scream out loud, but your voice is gone. You even try to shed a tear hoping to take off some of the pressure, but the water in you eyes have gone solid as a rock. At that point you open your eyes and all you see is darkness, even though the sun is brightly shining. Despite the fact that you still try to look at it, still nothing is coming through.

You look around and find loved ones wondering what is wrong and they keep asking more than once, but still have no idea. That is because this phase has gone too deep that you can hardly speak it up. Your words can not be talked and your language can not be understood. So here you are standing all alone in the middle of the crowd, hardly breathing as if someone is literally pushing you downwards in the ocean, except that no one can actually see u sinking.

Thoughts start rushing into your brain, eating it all up and you stand blankly with another thought of life, another wish for death and another fear of judgement day.

Silent Thought 1

Starting off with a question that keeps coming up; Is that what you really want? Well, that question could relate to pretty much anything you do, but here is my part of the story.

I know that everyone has their own dream or goal that they try to accomplish sooner or later. However, my dream apart from having a good job of course, is having that one thing that gets me up on my feet everyday. Something that makes me happy inside out. Not just the kind of happiness that makes you smile or laugh, but the happiness that makes your heart skip a beat just thinking of it. The happiness that fills you up and makes you get through life no matter how hard you have been thrown down.

The fact is that I realised that sometimes even this kind of happiness can end. Not because you do not feel the same way towards it any more, but because it is out of your hands to keep it, maybe you are just allowed to fight for it inside your own head with no spoken words.

Here at that point of you fighting, words are hard to be spoken out to those around you because they are not understood. Do not forget that we human beings have different mind sets. Also remember that to others your thoughts might seem wrong maybe based on ideas behind them, but still to them they are wrong or can never be approved of.

Right there you find yourself trapped in your own mind set wishing that your own kind of happiness can be understood or even appreciated without any sarcasm. Even if that kind of happiness you tasted was only for a short while, but was all you wanted and still want. That is exactly why my kind of happiness could be built through a very short time, but definitely left a mark of a lifetime story. Maybe if they knew that my mind set is different they would have understood, but they are not me.