Have you ever found yourself completing another person’s sentence? Do you start to answer a question before it has been asked? How effective is this type of communication? Not very.

The truth is, effective communication comes from how we listen, not how we speak. Most of us are so wrapped up in our own lives, we find it boring and painful to let someone else talk. No matter what the topic is, the part of the conversation most of us really enjoy is when we are in the speaker role.

Poor listening can contribute to conflicts and misunderstandings. If you frequently find yourself in conflict with others, pay attention to your listening style. Are you a proactive or reactive listener?

Proactive Listeners

Really pay attention to what others are saying

Sense the underlying feelings behind the words

Validate assumptions by using clarifying statements such as, “What I heard you say was…” or “You’re saying…, right?”

Reactive Listeners

Formulate a response before others have completed their thought

Respond based on their own internal dialogue

Have discussions in their head when someone else is speaking

Few of us were actually taught how to listen. It certainly wasn’t a subject I had to pass to get out of school. But it’s one of the most critical skills you can have in the business world. The good news is that your listening skills can be improved with practice.

Your secret to success is in the word “listen.” When you rearrange the letters, it becomes the word “silent.”

To listen better, silence your mind, eliminate distractions and focus solely on the speaker. Become aware of how you listen, improve your listening habits and you’ll end up being that special someone everyone wants to talk to. Start today.

Denise O’Berry — aka the Team Doc — has been working with teams and team leadership in the public, non profit and private sectors for over twenty years. She gets a lot of joy from working with teams and their leadership to help them improve and work through team issues. Not only does her advice come from the heart, it comes from years of experience working as a team member, team leader, manager and owner of her own company. She has truly walked in your shoes and offers help so you can be a better team leader. You can find more advice from Denise at her website Ask Team Doc and don't forget to follow her on Twitter @deniseoberry.

I do agree with this article. It is really good to listen first and clarify things before you give your comment to anyone. I found this quote from Wilson Mizner, “A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.” I think someone might look more intelligent when he just listen than to speak without even knowing the whole story which can make him an idiot. So the lessons are listen first before you speak and to gain more friends, be a good listener.