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You're a dermatologist. How do I get rid of 170 lb skin tag?
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Evelyn: You're a dermatologist. How do I get rid of 170 lb skin tag?Alan: Excuse me, 164.Charlie: Really? That's the part of you object to?Alan: Would you like to be called a 200 lb drunk?Charlie: 180.Alan: See?Charlie: Yeah, well better a lush than a leach.

Michelle: You eat a lot of fish. Aren't you worried about mercury?Charlie: Michelle, on the list of things I expect to kill me, mercury poisoning ranks well below liver failure, struck by lightning and heart attack during sex. Guess which one I'm rooting for?