"Put the car in neutral and turn your engine off," I said to my friend Crappy (Person made me change the name). "You can coast for 3/4 of a mile here."
"What?" She said, asking me to repeat myself: she is profoundly deaf in her right ear.
"If you turn your engine off and put the car in neutral you can coast for almost a mile." I made sure that said it loudly enough so that she could hear me over James Mercer's Lyrics. Caring is Creepy was playing from her iPhone.
"What?" She said, this time flabbergasted by what she had heard. "Why would I do that?"
"Better gas milage, less carbon emissions, saving you money, cutting our dependence on foreign oil, using potential energy to your advantage, being smart. Um I think I can think of a few more reasons to do it." She obviously still did not trust me, and her foot was still on the accelerator. "Just put the car in neutral and watch. You don't have to turn t…

"Welcome to Maggiano's, my name is Aaron and I will be taking care of you this evening. Is it anyone's first time at Maggiano's this evening?" I said, greeting the 4 top that was just seated in my section at table 83. "Nope," they all replied. "Excellent. That will save me some time boring you to death going over the menu. I'll point out our new features though. They just changed two weeks ago, and are all great for the summer. The ingredients are reach--" I looked at my guests as I was speaking and saw that only one of them was paying attention. The others were staring at their menus, probably assuming I was just trying to sell them the most expensive item on the menu. "-- It probably wasn't the healthiest choice, but I've had the spiedini four times in the last two weeks." Two of them laughed softly, probably out of courtesy. "Do we want any drinks other than just water, say maybe a gla…

When my father passed away, he “left more than a snap shot in the family album” and “just a memory.” Being that he was an avid Pink Floyd fan, I inherited from him a love for Nick Masons smooth rhythms, Richard Wrights groovy synth and piano, David Gilmour’s unparalleled Guitar playing, and especially Roger Waters lyrics. I was 15 when he passed and as such I was 15 when I received my first copy of Dark Side of the Moon. From the moment I out the CD in the stereo system that my father had also left behind for me, a set of monstrous polk speakers that still sound better than any Bose sets I have ever heard, I knew that the album was great. Amazing even. I loved the celestial synths that paralleled the astral theme. I cringed as my skin crawled and perked with goose bumps as the vocal solo on “Great Gig in the Sky” was belted from a set of pipes that I used to think belonged to Aretha or Houston. I reveled in the saxophone solos that could have made Bill Clinton put his instrument down …