They Said It Better Than I Ever Could...

These words that I write, they keep me from total insanity. -Charles Bukowski

Who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived, or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed? -Dr. Hunter S. Thompson

Nov 11, 2008

Holy O' Shit, War Is Quite Boring...

So we got here to AssCrackIstan the other day, and it has been nothing but excitement. (Not really, I have been bored to tears for the most part). We have been sitting around Bagram waiting for a flight out to where we are going to spend the majority of our deployment here. Once again, I will eventually tell you where but for the time being I cannot. So it goes.

We got here and had to go through some IED training which I can appreciate. If there is one thing that terrifies me it is the thought of being blown up by some random bomb placed in the road by one of these assholes.

Other than that for like the past 3 days we have done really nothing but sleep and eat. And my good, good Lord do we get to eat. Bagram has chow halls that would put some restaurants to shame. I mean everything you could think of, chicken, burgers, beef kabobs, lasagna, spaghetti, salad, french fries, mashed potatoes, green beans, and ICE CREAM. These pricks have ice cream. (I love ice cream) You could not even tell you are in a war zone up here.

I mean they have a PX which is fantastic, they have new car sales, which made me laugh, but then I remembered buying a car here cuts all the taxes out of the equation. They have a haji shop here that sells houkas, you know the place that has the little signs on the shelves that says, "for tobacco use only". They have a cell phone place. They have a sporting goods store, they have a, they have a, they have a, you get the idea. They have everything up here. Which makes me so very happy to be going somewhere else. Not really...

Anyways, so now I am sitting here in this fucking tent that only has two temperatures. Fires of hell, and cold as penguin balls, wondering why I am still here. I, check that, we were supposed to leave this morning. But apparently, there was some sort of problem with the helicopter that was to take us to our outlying FOB. I don't really know what it was. The PNN (private news network, or more accurately the rumor mill) says that there was an equipment change that needed to happen. Is it just me or does that sound like military speak for "broken helicopter". But I digress.

Now we have been told that we could be stuck here for another 2-4 days. Its already November 10. Well I guess it could be worse, I could be getting shot at all the damn time. Oh, that reminds me of a funny story of what happened to us today. After we got up at like 2 a.m. to load all our shit, and take it out to the airfield so we could get on with this shit. We got there and found out that we had entirely too much shit and too many people for the amount of birds they had going our way. So right off the bat about 20 of us got bumped and told, ever so politely, "Get the fuck out of here, you're in the way." I was one of those 20. Then we hauled all this shit back to the tent and unloaded it and went to sleep for about an hour or so. Now bear in mind all that took from about 3 a.m. until about 10 a.m. Fun for me. Then it happened...

The sirens went off and the bullhorns started blaring some shit about an incoming attack. Nobody moved. We were all asleep. Good to know that chances are good I could probably sleep through this war if given the opportunity. We heard a few distant explosions and what not. Nothing worth getting out of bed for. Then the platoon daddy came in and told us all to get our shit and get to the nearest bunker. First thing that popped into my head was, "They have bunkers here? Where are these bunkers of which you speak?" So we all threw on our body armor and went to the nearest bunker. Thankfully, the civilians around here knew where it was. Thank God somebody does.

So I went to this bunker which was nothing more than an inverted concrete "U" placed on the ground. I sat underneath this thing smoking and playing the name game while this bullhorn kept blaring every 5 minutes that there was an incoming attack. "Yes we got it, just let me know when I can go back to bed"

Well if nothing else I can say that I took incoming fire. Not really, like I said, War is boring. Especially fighting with these chicken shits that we got. Fire off a rocket, or mortar or two and then they run away. I guess I can't blame them, I would probably do the same if I was up against us. But it doesn't change the fact that they are a very boring enemy to fight. I should probably be happy. I imagine the guys from WWII and Vietnam would've traded wars with me any day. But still, this deployment has been one big bag of ass thus far. So it goes, with a commander like we got who could expect anything more.

Finally, something that...I really don't know what it did yet but I will let you know as soon as I know. The first morning we were here we had to get up ass crack early and I went out to smoke just as the sun was rising behind the mountains nearby. Now with all of the jet fuel, helicopter fumes, smoke, pollution, burnt shit, and everything else that is in the air around this hole. It made the sky the most beautiful shade of red I have ever seen. Couple that with the clouds and the streams of smoke left by the jets that take off every second or two hear and you have the recipe for one of the prettiest sunrises one could ever hope to see. I couldn't help thinking, "It is truly amazing that something so very beautiful could be seen in someplace so truly terrible."

8 comments:

mud puppy...My thoughts are with you this Veterans Day. My deep appreciation goes to you and the entire U.S. Army. As odd as it sounds...I'm glad you are bored, remain safe and take care of your brothers! From some pictures I have seen, it seems so bizarre to have something so hellish playing out in a place which holds so much beauty.Stay Strong!Pray Hard!

Sorry, but I am happy to hear that you are bored, but I'm sure you are keeping entertained with your name game and other "brain enhancing" games. Be sure to take lots of pictures, although it sounds like they won't due justice to the beauty you are seeing. We'll keep the prayers and good thoughts coming your way.Happy Veterans Day,Jeanne

Veterans Day is today. Thank you for posting all the details a mom would love. I am glad they are feeding you well at the Air Force Base. I am glad you are bored, too, but with your keen sense of observation...we benefit. Thank you.