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I just can't help myself. I'm like a fat kid eying off the last slice of pizza or a Kardashian with an internet-enabled camera. I just have to do it. I've been writing these lists for about ten years now, so why stop? Because THEY don't want me to? In the words of the great prophet DJ Khaled, THEY don't want me to, therefore I must. (I don't think he said that last part. Did I just play myself?)

2016 sucked ass in so many ways. Music was the one way it didn't. Here's my Top 10 in order of what I thought was the best - remember when people did that? Yeah anyway:

SPECIAL MENTION: Gunship - Gunship

The fact Gunship is "retrowave" precludes it from a place on a mosh/metal/punk list. But it really is my favourite this year. It's not a mere 80s nostalgia trip, it's something trancendental. It's new, it's old, it's like it was always with you. (Killjoy Deluxe Owen tells me this came out in 2015. THANKS BRO)

SEE ALSO: The black celebrated 80s sounds of The Black Queen's Fever Daydream.

1. White Lung - Paradise

I might need a new copy of this on vinyl cos I've played it so much this year. Punk, pop, perfection.

I'm drawn back to this empty screen each year to secrete my opinion on what I enjoyed this year. I've been doing it since at least 2009, back when I thought writing about music conferred some kind of numinous insight into music. I listen to a lot of bullshit and I'm cynical as hell. Sometimes, I leap out of my chair and whip my (no) hair back and forth in ecstacy. Some of those discs did that to me this year. Here's a numbered list of them.

1. Gazpacho - Molok

These guys are out of this world. Prog rock that's actually progressive and actually rock. It runs from ancient esoterics to futurist wanderings. This is such a trip. At the end there's this code that might blow the world up. For a second there, I tensed up and clenched my eyes tight...

2. Ghost - Meliora

It's pop music painted black. If metal had something close to Pet Sounds, this might be it.

I have real trouble defining the parameters of my 2014 list. Swinging low on my Digital Editor perch at Hysteria Mag, I’ve kinda sorta found myself not hating a lot of the stuff thrown across my table. Punk and hardcore. Metalcore and deathcore. Rockcore and Applecore. “Fuck it,” I said, downing another cup of coffee-flavoured battery acid, “I’ll add whatever bullshit I want to my list.”

A long pause. Heavy silence. I turn to a non-existent camera. Straight down the barrel, I intone:

“Cos it’s my fuckin’ list.”

Adhering to my own editorial advice of “omit needless words!” Here's year’s musical journey summed up in one DELUXE page. So here we go:

1. Sleepwave - Broken Compass

Spencer Chamberlain saved rock n’ roll. He did it not only with great tunes, but courage.

2. Decapitated - Blood Mantra

Growing tired of death metal is easy. Decapitated settle for nothing less than perfection. Blood Mantra is that perfection.

3. Gazpacho - Demon

Classifying this one is like expressing frustrations in an arcane tongue. Prog rock that's simple, haunting, beautiful. Jan Henrik-Ohme's androgyne vocals transcend music as music...it's a language of humanity.

"Doom" has been hijacked by skinny-tee wearing SJWs set on finding life's answers in the back of a Foucault book. Fuck them. This is the real shit. No trust funds, no saviours.

9. Primordial - Where Greater Men Have Fallen

A late entry, but adding psychedelic touches and stoner jammin' really bumped them up the list. Primordial are ALWAYS God tier. This proves it.

10. Voyager - V

If Australia has one metal export you should be spruiking incessantly (apart from King Parrot) it's Voyager. Prog metal's been sucking its own dick since Scenes from a Memory. Voyager bravely fly free outta prog's masturbatory hugbox. Keep it up, boys and girl.

Honourable Mentions:

Gold Award: Soen - Tellurian

Remember when Tool and Opeth were the only "prog metal" masters back in the winter of 2000? Imagine if they combined. Perfectly.

Silver Award: KXM - KXM

Metal supergroups seem to be kickin' major ass, and KXM is no exception. Down home blues and rock sung with Dug Pinnick's "I been around some" heart and soul. Can't beat that.

Bronze Award: Audrey Horne – Get Heavy

Are we absolutely sure the ghosts of Phil Lynott and Gary Moore aren't cutting these?

I know, I know: I usually drag my Top 10 list out over a week and a half. I usually don't have to file copy on all of my precious decalogue, necessitating writing new shit. Truth is, I can't be arsed. I have a Top 10, of sorts. The word that comes to mind is rebirth. Metal has built its gleaming kingdom. Now, fans can sit and watch the blood and fight for the throne. Tremendous fight is what we hear.

The Crushtor.net Top 10 of Metal 2013

1. Carcass – Surgical SteelCarcass are back. You need no further explanation.

5. The Fall of Every Season - AmendsMarkus Strand's solo project weaves together dusky vocals, thunder from cloudy skies and a weak pulse of hope. It might just breathe new life into a death/doom genre at present best remembered.

6. Witherscape - The InheritanceDan Swano's The Inheritance concept gathers doom, old school prog and power metal, wrapping them in a compelling combo. You'll find it jammed in your CD player for weeks.

7. Nails - Abandon All LifeNails are a clenched fist of 'fuck you.' Abandon All Life ain't no title, it's a command.

5.The Fall of Every Season - AmendsMarkus Strand's solo project weaves together dusky vocals, thunder from cloudy skies and a weak pulse of hope. It might just breathe new life into a death/doom genre, at present best remembered.

6.Witherscape - The InheritanceDan Swano's The Inheritance concept gathers doom, old school prog and power metal, wrapping them in a compelling combo. It'll get jammed in your CD player for weeks.

7.Nails - Abandon All LifeNails are a clenched ball of 'fuck you.' Abandon All Life ain't no title, it's a command.

8.Gorguts - Colored SandsLuc Lamay returns with an armful of tunes from another timey-wimey face-melty dimension.

9.Ghost – InfestissumamSolid melodies and shaggy riffs hit the spot their second time around. Chuck it on, light a doob and get spooky.

After World War II, US Secretary of State George Marshall thought it would be a good idea to help Europe rebuild after six years of demoralising, bitter warfare. Under his economic recovery plan, proud nations would prosper again, resisting the lure of Communism.

Leaders concocted a program to spearhead European technological progress and unity – the European Broadcasting Union (EBU) was born in 1955. "We’ll get Europe to sing", they said. "We’ll broadcast it live across the continent", they said. "It’s a great idea", they said.