“Life is too short to spend your precious time trying to convince a person who wants to live in gloom and doom otherwise. Give lifting that person your best shot, but don’t hang around long enough for his or her bad attitude to pull you down. Instead, surround yourself with optimistic people.”

This last quote is interestingly negative. I don’t believe in abandoning people. You know why? Because at some point we all need someone to be there. It also doesn’t mean they have a bad attitude. It means they’re hurting. Doesn’t this site teach that happiness is a state of mind? If someone is in a dark place and I’ve decided to be the light then I can’t be moved to darkness unless I decide to be moved by it. I am moved by it. I’m moved to continue to be the light instead of becoming the darkness abandoning someone in need. “Darkness can’t drive out the darkness, only the light can do that.”

kristenmichellebrown

I don’t think it’s about giving up on people; rather, I think it’s about finding balance when people don’t want to leave the doom and gloom. I have several family members who, a few because of mental illness, find happiness elusive and seem to prefer remaining in a dark place. My approach has always been to be there for them as much as possible but to also resist their downward pull. Sometimes that means stepping back – I’ll not be good to anybody if I’m not “the light,” as you put it. If someone is in a dark place, it’s true that the light is what can drive the darkness out. The question for me is whether or not his or her eyes are open to see the light. If that person doesn’t want to leave the dark place, my hand may be out but they need to take it. I don’t stop loving them, but I do try to find a more useful place for my hands until they are ready.

Guest

This is true indeed. Thank you! I do believe circumstances play a huge part becaus of course we will all view this through our own lens of perspective. Your example offers a different meaning to me because, I too, have encounter those with a mental illness who can, at times, be negative towards me alon with remaining in a “doom and gloom” place. I thought of a friend who is going through marital problems that aren’t abusive or anything but lots of figuring out to do. Some of our friends deem her to be doom and gloom because her light has dimmed a bit but I believe it is my duty as a friend to be there. If she needs me to listen, offer advice or just go have dinner and a drink, as her friend, I have my sister’s back. I don’t look at it like she’s bothering me or not entertaining me. Now going back to your example, I completely agree because mental illness can be a rollercoaster for all who are on for the ride.