Movie notes: What was ‘Escape From Planet Earth’ afraid of?

Not sure if this qualifies as real irony or Alanis Morissette-style irony (odd or unfortunate juxtaposition), but the critics were kindest to the movie that was most afraid of them last weekend.

That would be “Escape From Planet Earth,” the animated family sci-fi yarn about a blue superhero who’s a bit overconfident about his rescuing abilities. It opened Friday without being screened for critics. The other three Valentine’s flicks — “A Good Day to Die Hard,” “Safe Haven” and “Beautiful Creatures” — opened Thursday.

And first things first: Was this the worst Valentine’s week ever or what? Hollywood gave us the worst “Die Hard” movie ever, the worst Nicholas Sparks movie ever (and that’s saying something), a mediocre supernatural teen-sex angst tale based on a popular series of young-adult books, and a kiddie flick from an animation house (Weinstein) that has produced some of the worst animated flicks of the past decade.

(From critic Roger Moore: ”If you’re a parent, chances are you’ve seen worse animated films than ‘Escape from Planet Earth.’ Mostly, one might add, from the same studio that released this one. But ‘Earth’ is something of a giant — OK, mini-giant — leap forward for The Weinstein Company. It’s not much funnier than most of their earlier fare. But at least it’s not as ugly as ‘Hoodwinked,’ ‘Doogal’ and the rest).”

Yes “Beautiful Creatures” has the highest Tomatometer score (45) of this rotten quartet; “Escape” has a lowly 28, based on only a handful of reviews. But the Top Critics were surprisingly receptive — four of the six who weighed in gave “Escape” positive reviews. The majority of the same crowd (20 of 37) panned “Creatures.”

Anyway, this not-so-Fab Four did nothing to change our Valentine’s weekend plans, which included partying with stressed-out educators, spending a half-day hiking at a nearby state park and rooting for Matt Bonner to win the three-point shooting contest during NBA All-Star Weekend. And of course, rooting for no Spurs to hurt themselves.