I agreed to share my boyfriend …with his boyfriend

MOST women would be heartbroken at the idea of their bloke being with another
lover.

But Jodie Craddick is so in love with her boyfriend that she has put her hurt
aside and agreed to share him . . . with another MAN.

After much soul-searching, the 20-year-old care assistant from Bristol has
come to an unusual arrangement to share the affections of Jez Garrett, 22,
with his boyfriend Tommy William.

Jodie explains: “It’s a sort of joint custody agreement.

“I’ve looked at other cultures where the man has several partners and I think
it’s quite similar to that. It works well.

“I know that it’s not the right way to do things but I really love Jez. If
this is the only way, then so be it.

“Jez told me he was bisexual after we had been together for two years. I was
madly in love with him and, despite being incredibly hurt, I forgave him.
Now I have to share him with another man. It may seem unconventional to most
people.”

When they all got together for a chat about how the three-way relationship
would work last November, Jodie and jobless Tommy, 21, agreed to share Jez,
who is a cleaner. They decided they would each spend two days a week with
him.

She admits: “On the days I don’t have him I really miss him, but unlike when
we split up I don’t get depressed about it because I know he’ll be back
after a few days. It’s unusual but why should we be the same as everybody
else?

“We’ve had this going since last November and we are all happy.”

It has not always been smiles for Jodie, who moved in with Jez a few months
after they started dating.

She says: “Everything was perfect. Obviously we had the odd argument when we
first moved in together, but nothing bad — we were just two young people in
love.

“I adored the fact that he was so full of life and energy. We never stopped
having fun.

“But after our one-year anniversary in June last year, Jez’s mood changed. He
seemed irritated by things and would go off into the bedroom by himself to
read.

“I started to think he was falling out of love with me.”

Unable to bear the thought of losing Jez, lovestruck Jodie tried her best to
put the spark back into their relationship.

She recalls: “I was always making him nice meals and buying sexy underwear to
try to get his attention — but nothing was working.

“I was starting to get worried when I noticed Jez getting tearful every now
and then.

“Then one evening he spoke to me properly for the first time in weeks and
confessed he was having an affair. I was stunned.

“This wasn’t what I’d expected to hear and for a moment I was lost for words.

“He was sleeping with somebody else and I couldn’t quite believe he’d do that
to me.”

But that wasn’t the worst part. Jodie assumed he was seeing another girl and
was gutted to learn that in fact Jez was sleeping with a gay man — Tommy.

She says: “When he told me he was bisexual AND having an affair with a man, my
heart smashed into tiny pieces. I fell to the floor and sobbed.

“Jez told me he had always been bisexual and that although he thought I was
The One, he just couldn’t shrug off the urge to be with a man too. He also
told me that he wanted to share us and date us both.

“My immediate reaction was to tell him to get out.

“When he left I fell apart, but I promised myself that I would never go back,
no matter how much I wanted to.”

But as she spiralled into a deep depression, she realised just how deeply she
loved and missed Jez — despite everything.

She says: “Every time I closed my eyes I could see his gorgeous face. Although
I was angry, my heart melted at the thought of him turning up at my door and
telling me he still wanted me.”

Jodie suffered severe mood swings and became withdrawn from her friends and
family. As the months passed, the feelings of loneliness and emptiness just
didn’t go away.

She says: “The worst moments were when I came home from work to an empty
house. I felt so lonely. However much my head told me to let go and forget
all about him, my heart dragged me back to all the good things we had and I
would burst into tears remembering them.”

When it seemed Jodie had no hope of rekindling her lost love, Jez turned up at
her door last November — with Tommy in tow.

She says: “I was shocked to see them when I answered the door because I’d had
no contact with Jez. But I invited them both in and they sat down in my
kitchen.

“It all came out as Jez told me that he missed me and that he still loved me.

“Tommy, who I’d never met before, kept nodding and agreed. He said that Jez
wanted me back and that for their relationship to work — and for Jez to be
happy — I needed to be part of his life.

“I’d missed him so much that when I saw him on my doorstep my heart leapt and
my stomach had butterflies.

“If he walked out of the door again without us making some sort of commitment,
I knew it would be more months of heartbreak which I just couldn’t face. So
I agreed.

“As I said ‘yes’ I felt relief sweep over me and the depression of the past
few months lift.

“Then we planned how we could make it work.”

Now the unconventional duo share Jez on a weekly rota and always practise safe
sex.

Jodie says: “I always make sure that we use a condom. Most people are shocked
I am OK about seeing a bisexual man. It’s strange but I don’t think it would
work if I was sharing him with another woman.

“For some reason, it’s not that difficult for me knowing he is seeing another
man. I’m still the only woman that Jez loves.”

Even so, it is not all plain sailing. Jodie admits: “Deep down I still
slightly resent Tommy for what’s happened but we’ve managed to work it out
and I’m happy again.”

Jez adds: “My life has always been dramatic. When Jodie came along she helped
me to settle down and things were a whole lot calmer. Then I met Tommy and
the rollercoaster began. I hope people believe me when I say I love them
both equally and don’t want to lose either of them.

“Like Jodie said, it is a strange position for all of us to be in. But it does
work for us, so who is to say we can’t do it like this?”

Tommy admits: “It’s not the best-case scenario but Jez really missed Jodie and
it showed.

“The fact she wasn’t around affected our relationship.

“I’m happy for them to carry on their relationship because I didn’t like the
fact I was the cause of them splitting up.

“We’ll just have to see how it pans out, but so far it’s going fine. We are
all happy.”

myView

By DEIDRE SANDERS, Sun Agony Aunt

I AM afraid that all Jodie is probably doing is staving off the day when she
accepts her relationship with Jez is never going to make her truly happy.

She is settling for what Jez is willing to offer but where is this
relationship going?

Lots of men and women feel torn between two people. But I don’t see how being
bisexual is any justification for an arrangement like this when the hurt
caused is just the same.

She says they are practising safe sex but accidents happen – and is this the
right example of relationships to be setting a child?

I don’t know why Jodie felt she had to settle for just a few days a week
but I hope she soon realises she deserves full-time love.