diamond geezer

Tuesday, December 06, 2011

Meanwhile, in DG's long-suffering inbox...

Hi there,I’d like to see if you are interested in writing about a brand new exhibit opening at <well-known London museum> on <xx>th November... I can offer press pass tickets if you are interested in visiting. Do let me know?

Oh Nicola, get with the programme. You should realise that simply by sending me that email you've guaranteed that I won't write about it. I should perhaps have fleeced you for the free tickets, though.

Hi there, I wanted to share some images with you following last night’s star-studded new <college campus> launch party. The <location>-based breath-taking new campus was filled to capacity with the art and cultural elite... All the imagery from the evening is now available, please do get in touch should you need any additional information. Do you think this is something you can cover?

Would I like to rebroadcast photos of other people enjoying themselves? I'll pass, thanks Matthew.

Hi Diamond Geezer I’m Jack from <PR Company> writing on behalf of alternative (duck feeding, rock climbing, canoeing etc) London-centric dating site <dating.site.com>, to ask if you’d be interested in trying out the premium version of the site for a month or two on us.

All credit to Jack for personally targeting his PR email with a bit of wit, but it wasn't entirely tactful to suggest I ought to use a dating site. Our blossoming relationship split up after a brief exchange of emails.

Hi Guys,It’s that time again where we are running a campaign, this time for London!!!! Please feel free to enter the competition yourself and let your readers know should you think they may be interested! We love London, and to show you how much, we’re giving away a trip for two to this fair city. The full prize for one lucky winner and a friend includes a two-night stay in one of our London hotels...

Because what a London blogger really wants is a (non-transferable) trip to London, isn't it Leah?

Dear Diamond Geezer, Congratulations, your site is one of 15 sites we selected for the opportunity to enter a prize draw collaboration. We really enjoyed reading your travel/tourism pieces that you've written about the UK and would like offer £100 Amazon vouchers as a prize for a competition run on your website.Interested? Here's how to enter: Write a blog post talking about <all-encompassing London-based title>. It can be a travelogue, poem, review or anything you choose, the more creative the better! Enter your details on the <Travel Company> site. Make sure you link to a URL on www.<travelcompany>.com in the post and contact us when the post is live. And we'll pick a winner at random.

So, all that effort to write you a puff piece, and then you pick a winner at random? Thanks for that. And no thanks.

Savvy travellers looking for a low-cost hotel in London in the New Year will be excited to hear that budget hotel chain <Budget Hotel> will be opening its second London property...

Whereas bored bloggers checking their inboxes will be disappointed to see emails arriving from a hotel chain that doesn't understand "Please unsubscribe".

Hi Diamond Geezer,I wanted to invite you to an exclusive <Radio 2-type artist> gig in London on 8th December. The gig is being put on as part of the <Marketing> initiative from <Credit Card> and it would be great if you wanted to come along and find out more about all the cultural events that are being put on by <Credit Card> <Marketing>. The <Marketing> <Radio 2-type artist> gig sees <Credit Card> giving 400 free tickets to lucky cardholders who registered online at the <Marketing> website.

Let me get this right, Rhian. This is an exclusive gig attended by 400 lucky prize winners, but I can come too even though I don't own a <Credit Card> because you want some publicity. Shameless.

So look, I'm sorry to have to say it again on here, because readers are boredofhearingit. But if you're a press officer or marketing guru with an advertorial email ready to send, do me a favour and don't bother. Because I DO NOT PROMOTE ANY STUFF YOU SEND TO ME. Please, stop wasting your time, and bin your promotional message before I do.