Tuesday, 8 January 2008

My 2008

One morning this weekend I snorted some white powder. A first. By accident. In the freezing cold.

Something about that frosty ingestion made me wonder about 2008 and what it has in store for me.

Sure, the white powder was merely a snowflake flittering about the wrong place while I drew in breath and pondered up at the sky’s offerings. Still, it was bizarre and unusual for me, and at minimum, it felt weird. Standing by the ol’ Say No to Drugs, I wondered, could this be a metaphor for something else?

Not long after, I began to notice other things very uncharacteristic of me.

On the first day back to school I drove home in a sea of worry after dropping off Babydoll. Was she going to be safe? Was she adequately supervised? Her day doesn’t finish til 3pm…that’s a long time from home for a four year old. Might she find herself in harm’s way?I have never worried excessively about my children. When I relinquish control of my children to someone or something, I make peace with my decision. I don’t leave them unless it is in my heart to be OK with it. In fact, the only thing I might revert to is whether the minder is OK.

But here it is day two of school and I’m still worrying…Is Babydoll ok at school?

I analyze my concerns as if it’s an electrical short in life’s wirings or perhaps reverse mentality? Maybe 2008 is going to be a life-changing year? Sorta like that episode for George Costanza? You know, in the Seinfeld sitcom when George learns if he acts out the opposite of his gut reactions, his new opposite choice provides a better outcome. Only my bizarre fortune will last 365 days and longer, not an ad-interrupted 55 minutes.

Even in my crafting, I did something remarkably unlike me. I took absolutely gorgeous fabric and cut an itsy bitsy piece from it. Never in a million years would I have allowed myself to mar something so beautiful for such a small need. But I did it and it felt great, and the benefactor scrap quilt looks even better with its charming three inch contribution.

I think, for me, this New Year brings with it many unknowns in regards to family, work, income, home, and relationships. I plan to take it one day at a time, feeding myself healthy portions of positive thoughts and innovative ideas for the best outcome. I can feel it. It's going be my 2008.

For today it’s raining heavily outside, and I don’t need downpour in my eye to know changes are at hand.