How to be a remote father

Blocked from my regular blog praxis by the good people at Hewlett-Packard, makers of the valetudinarian paperweight known as the Compaq 6510b, I’ve been honing a new Erma Bombeck shtick over at the Chicago Reader (here and here). The first one blew up real good with the help of Twitter momentum provided by no lesser man than Roger Ebert, which I thought was kind of cool.

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I’ve got a 6 (almost 7) year-old too. Some of her favorite things to watch are cooking shows, and shows about how things work or how things are made. She’s only recently had the attention span for non-episodic shows, so she hasn’t been very interested in movies. I tried to show her Emmet Otter’s Jug Band Christmas (one of my all-time favorites) after my parents sent us a copy, but she declared it boring and ran off to play.

We’ve recently started watching the Disney Channel, after seeing it at her grandparents’ house. I was expecting it to be awful drivel, but I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised by some of the shows. Hannah Montana regularly makes fun of itself, and last night we saw a spoof of Titanic on Suite Life on Deck. Humor like that usually goes over her head, but it cracks me up.

Just a note of caution about the cooking shows: be prepared for a reenactment in the kitchen shortly afterward. The fact that you don’t have a vacuum extractor or liquid nitrogen like Heston Blumenthal will not be seen as an obstacle.