A girl asks her dad "Why am I called Rose?"
The father replies "Because a rose petal fell on your head when you were born"
Then her sister asks "Why am I called Lilly?"
The father replies "Because a lilly petal fell on your head when you were born"
Her brother says "ERTGTHREGERG£$%£$^£EGRD"
The father replies "Shut up cinderblock."

This black dude rules at CS. (Funny stuff)

Shake thems tittas!

Q and A

Q: How does a blind skydiver know he is about to hit the ground?
A: He feels slack in the leash.

Q: What's the difference between a woman and a refrigerator?
A: A refrigerator doesn't moan when you put meat in it.

Q: What do you call a black smurf?
A: Smigger

Q: What did Hitler tell the black Jew to do?
A: Get to the back of the oven!

Q: What does dracula's girlfriend and a washed up boxer have in common?
A: They both go down for the count.

Q: What os white, red, and can't turn around in corners?
A: A baby with a javelin through its head.

Q: What is the difference between a black guy and a Monkey?
A: Monkeys hang from trees by their tails.

Q: What sound does a rednecks truck make as he starts it up?
A: Run Nigga Nigga Nigga

You guys still havn't sent any white jokes worth a shit.

You figure this one out.

Dangerous game.

Who took that picture?.. Fucker could be helping.

Looks like a very fun game!

Not sure, but it looks like two dudes..

Tropicana uses magics.

Nice keyboard.

A doctor says to his patient, 'I have bad news and worse news'.
'Oh dear, what's the bad news?' asks the patient.
The doctor replies, 'You only have 24 hours to live'.
'That's terrible', said the patient. 'How can the news possibly be worse?'
The doctor replies, 'I've been trying to contact you since yesterday'.

This guy beats Half-life in 45 minutes. (128mbs, use a Download Manager)

Q and A

Q: Why don't blind people skydive?
A: It scares the shit out of their dogs!

Q:Why do black people eat tootsie rolls with a fork?
A: So they don't bite their fingers.

Q. Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza?
A. The pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

Ok, this will make up for the cat video!

Must be pointing to Canada.

I don't know.

The dude with the "LOL" sign made it 10x better.

Upside down pictures are funny.

A dog went into a telegram office and said, "I would like to send a telegram." The operator said, "Fine, what would you like to send?" and the dog said, "Woof woof, woof, woof woof." And the operator said, "You know for the same amount of money, you can put another woof on there."

And the dog said, "But that would make no sense at all."

Must be a "special" school.

Racism in baseball is cool beans watermelon.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

I really don't get some of you. I'm know I'm not all there, but at least I can admit it with this really neat typing method.

Maybe we'll see this clip on 20/20 next week. AND MAYBE those cats that donate themselves to science for dissection will participate.

Hell, we could just head over to ASIAN and eat a kitty for breakfast.

I like animals and all (even though I can't stand cats) it still wasn't right on the video, yet I find myself cracking up over all the "controversy" over one cat. I'm going to go ask Bob Barker what he thinks and what you think of this little edit here. You can't really tell what it is, but the music rules.
(Save your hatemail I don't even read it)

P.S. If you don't catch the sarcasm on this site (which is most of it) you shouldn't be here.

ANYWAY ENOUGH OF THAT SHIT - LET'S GET TO THE REAL SHITS AND GIGGLES! (More images and stuff tomorrow)

I watched Euro trip for the first time the other day and the new e-mail notification on it was funny as hell.

1) Download and put in your C:/WINDOWS/Media folder.
2) Then goto START / Control Panel / Sounds and Audio Devices
3) Click the Sounds tab.
4) Scroll down to where it says "New Mail Notification" and highlight it and click the browse next to it.
5) Browse to the C:/WINDOWS/Media folder and click on the "mail_muthafucka.wav" file and click OK.

For Mac:

1) In mail, go to Mail > Preferences > General
2) Go to the drop down for "New Mail Sound" and select add.

Saddam is funny now.

A stoner walks into a 7-11 and asks the clerk, "Got any weed?"

The clerk responds, "Hell no, you damn stoner."

The next day the stoner returns he asks the clerk, "Got any weed?"

The clerk outraged, smashes the stoners head on the counter and says, "Look you stoner, if you come in here and ask if I got weed one more time I will nail your feet to the floor."

So.. the next the day the stoner walks in and asks the clerk, "Got any nails?"

EditYou it's funny how people will laugh at some guy getting killed,
BUT GOD FORBID A FUCKING CAT GETTING BURNED!

Things you should know about this:

1)Don't show your dog this.
2)Don't be stupid and do this.
3)Don't post as me in the comments.
4)You should that these fucks were Russian or something. (Going by the accent)
5)Don't threaten me. I've heard it all.
6)Don't blame me for making you watch it, I can't hold your hand on the internet.
7)I don't support, I just post what is sent in and you know if it was an Iraqi person you would do cart-wheels in your room. If that is the case you are dumber than the people that shot the video.

Oops , I just checked with my datacenter and they said it would probably be best to take it down, so I edited it. Next week a poor defenseless Iraqi child! Oh wait a second...

Cool Message from dork: Get used to Friday's post a little later
than usual, today was really late because I had to work over. I'll also have a
little something on Sunday for ya (which is rare for a weekend post)..

P.S. Going to do that archiving and such in a few. Work has been all gayed up.

She's a witch! Pure magic or something..

My pokemon brings all the nerds to the yard, and there like "Do you wanna trade cards?" Damn Right lets trade some cards, I'll trade you, but not my charizard.- How gay was that?

[_kr4m3r] so many fucking criminals, its bullshit
[foniks`] heh, if we sent all the criminals to some empty continent and just left them there to die
[foniks`] and showed up like 50yrs later like, "sup?"
[foniks`] whatd u think they'd say?
[FoSZoR bg] something along the lines of, "G`Day mate"

[NES] lol
[NES] I download something from Napster
[NES] And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done
[NES] I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you"
[NES] "getting my song back fucker"

You see that right?

Q and A

Q: How does every ethnic joke start?
A: By looking over your shoulder.

Q: What's the best part about spinning a baby around a clothes line?
A: Stopping it with a shovel.

Q: What do you call a first-time offender in Saudi Arabia?
A: Lefty!

Q: Why did God create the yeast infection?
A: So women could know what it's like living with an irritating cunt too.

Q: How do you know if an Asian robbed your house?
A: Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later the fucker is still trying to back out of your driveway.

Q: What does a woman put behind her ears to make herself more attractive?
A: Her ankles.

Q: What's the one thing a black guy can't win?
A: Employee of the Month.

Q: What do you call a cracked out black guy running from the cops because he just got done raping a white girl?
A: Normal.

Q: Whats black, brown, and looks good on a black guy?
A: A rottweiler.

Q: What do you do if an epileptic person has a seizure in your bath tub?
A: Throw in the laundry.

Q: What do you call a mexican laying naked in the dirt?
A: Camouflage.