User talk:Paizuri/Archive 1

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Forum on non-neutral articles

Thanks for your response to my question in the Forum. This New Hampshirite noted your use of the US flag only to ask whether the difference in reaction to Barack Obama was the difference between living in the US and joking about it from abroad. The prior discussion was at Talk:Barack Obama#His life as a newborn. I'd appreciate your reaction to those comments, and your opinion on how to proceed with the article. SpıkeѦ12:42 31-Oct-09

I changed my vote to Keep in VFD, but I had a long time understanding where you were coming from with this--chalk it up to my recurring problem dealing with alternate narrating voices--I keep expecting to read the work of the impartial encyclopedia writer. You do give me a hint in Section 1 that the narrator is a kid who's just bought a new pack of game cards--Perhaps give that hint in the intro? And I personally needed a bigger hint that "Civilization 4" is a game. Would you mind making the illustrations wrapping thumbnails instead of having them commandeer white space out to both margins? SpıkeѦ23:25 14-Nov-09

Aw, it got vfd'd while I was gone? Oh well. I really didn't work too hard on that rewrite; I was trying to make it sound like a guy who plays Civilization way too much wrote it, so I guess as someone who fits that description it would be hard for someone on the outside to understand it... so do you think it would sound better if it written more like an "impartial encyclopedia writer?" Because I really don't know that much about the guy. Regarding the pictures, I don't think I know how to do that...I haven't been editing here for very long.—PaizuriMUN(Talk•Contribs•Poll!)

The discussion is at Uncyclopedia:Pages for deletion/archive194#Suryavarman II. Hyperbole saved the article; he is a Civ 4 player (I am not) and he explained exactly why your treatment is a riot. I am not saying I think it would be better written impartially! but am referring to my recurring difficulty with articles that are not--which is not your fault. (Details are here in the forum if you care.) I will say that when your "kid" tells me I have a limited attention span, I bristle so much ("Don't insult the reader!") that I stop looking for the humor. Anyway, a challenge to you is to write that article so well that a non-Civ-4 player can see what Hyperbole explained about the absurdity of your creation. Good luck! SpıkeѦ03:57 19-Nov-09

Queen Elizabeth I

Just checking--did you vote for this article on VFH? The history identifies an IP number, not a user name. If it was you, then it's a 1 vote, if it's an IP, then it's 1/2. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 08:00, November 20, 2009 (UTC)

OK cool. I just wanted to make sure it wasn't somebody impersonating you. Also this site's been logging people out and making it hard for people to log in. I think there's something wrong with the new sign in thing, which I reported. Hopefully it will get fixed soon. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 08:12, November 20, 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, I noticed the registration thing looked different. Wikia tends to kinda fuck up sometimes with stuff like that. —PaizuriMUN(Talk•Contribs•Poll!)

VFD

So, are you planning to add the {{VFD}} tag to those articles you're nominating? Because if not, they all get kept as "invalid nom". Just a friendly tip! --UU - natter11:59, Nov 30

Port

You nominated this as a "stupid stub." Without claiming that User:SPIKE/Port is no longer stupid, it is clearly no longer a stub, so would you flip to Keep so I can get a Save? Thanks. SpıkeѦ22:07 4-Dec-09

Peter Pan

User:SPIKE/Peter Pan corrects the problems in your original nomination. Please reconsider your vote if you find it keepable. SpıkeѦ11:35 14-Dec-09

signacher

I vandalized your signature. Feel free to undo it. If you want to be really cool, you'd set it up so it's red normally and that salmon color if you've visited it already. --PlebSYNDROMECUNmedicate(butt poop!!!!) 03:01, December 15, 2009 (UTC)

Oh, that. I had a suggestion until I saw exactly what you're describing. I don't know if that's possible with a signature; User:PuppyOnTheRadio might know. You can have your signature change by saving your signature as an image (gif, etc.) and having it change to a different image with the mouse over it, but that's not the same thing. If you find someone who knows how to do that salmon color thing after you've visited it, let me know, OK? It's not covered in any of my holy books. I have so much to learn. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 19:40, December 15, 2009 (UTC)

HTML links are multicolored. For example, I see "User:PuppyOnTheRadio" in blue, but "User:SPIKE/Peter Pan" above in purple because I've visited it recently. Any style sheet can set the color of a link, of a pointed-to link (Uncyclopedia instead uses underlining), and of a link that has been visited; and a signature file could contain a style sheet that would change the colors of a link inside the signature. The same thing doesn't apply to text that isn't a link. If you were hard-coding a web page, you could write a Javascript routine, triggered by the MouseOver event, to force the color of something to change (or even replace a GIF by another one). But I don't know how to embed Javascript into pages produced by Uncyclopedia. SpıkeѦ19:58 15-Dec-09

Gosh, I remember hard-coding web pages. Those were the days. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 20:03, December 15, 2009 (UTC)

Alas, poor Geocities. We knew ye well. The wiki can be a little restrictive when it comes to formatting. There's no way to force JavaScript on someone without an admin setting it up (think of the horrible abuse you could commit if you could put JavaScript anywhere!) and while limited CSS is allowed, I don't know how to override the a and a:visited settings in main.css. POTR might be able to help, and Socky might too. His sig is pretty CSS-laden. --PlebSYNDROMECUNmedicate(butt poop!!!!) 20:14, December 15, 2009 (UTC)

Your Userpage

Oh god, when I saw the section name in the contents I thought somehting was wrong... But thanks! I actually stole it from this guy. I figured he wouldn't be needing it anymore since he got infinibanned. —PaizuriMUN(Talk•Contribs•Poll!)

Wow! Zana's never complimented my page like that! But, I suppose, well, ahem, I mostly stole all the good parts from her anyway and I've let it lay there like a roadkilled albatross baking in the sun for far too long so as to pursue other projects... so I guess that's why. I really should do something with it. Oh by the way, somehting is wrong. Somehting indeed. ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*(talk)(stalk)Π ~ ~ 02:04, December 17, 2009 (UTC)

The layout is...nice, soothing... I was actually referring to the content. I LOL'd when I read your bio, it was sincere and funny. It's always interesting for me to learn what initially drew a user into this site, as I've been around pretty much since it was created (just a few weeks after I guess). I was touched by your picture(s) as well, as I'm sure they've touched you ;). Good humor and honesty - keep that up and you'll be a great writer here. – (ooh!)(aah!)...·º•ø®@»LEGCUNGUNDUN02:29, 17 December 2009

Aw, thanks. That means a lot coming from an established writer of this site. On another topic, your Frida Kahlo article is pretty close to being featured. And speaking of featured articles (note my smooth transition) do I graduate from the AAN program when I make one? —PaizuriMUN(Talk•Contribs•Poll!)04:42, December 17, 2009 (UTC)

In Gratitude

Sig thingy

Yeah, hi Pelargonium, just a quick thing about your sig - don't suppose you want to include the date in there anywhere, do you? It makes life a lot easier for certain things, particularly over at VFD, when I'm trying to figure out how long a nom has been up. You don't have to, of course, but it would, y'know, be handy. Toodles! --UU - natter12:38, Dec 17

Yeah, I was just starting to timestamp my signatures with my new one. I'm not really used to doing it, since I'm lazy but...yeah. —PaizuriMUN(Talk•Contribs•Poll!)20:39, December 17, 2009 (UTC)

Cut me some slack, I'm lazy busy

CongratulationsYou have been awarded the secret purple nurples for outstanding acts of uselessness![[{|]] [[|}]]

On VFD, you found this article "not that bad." If you find my rewrite even better, consider flipping to Delete to sub this in. It should be a deletion because it retains nothing but a form of the first sentence, and the photo and caption. 16:52 30-Dec PS--Overtaken by events. Sockpuppet, receiving a similar message, reasserted his Keep but two users on Keep have given me the green light to replace the article. Speak up if you disagree. PS--Having your page on watch during this dialogue, I had occasion to visit your user page and was impressed, especially from your message on my talk page and obvious desire for smooth working relations and good feelings. When I was your age, I merely wanted to be right and have everyone know it. SpıkeѦ01:57 1-Jan-10

Sorry I didn't anything about the Angry Asian Kid vote, I've just been kinda busy moving and stuff. And yes, you are someone I would like to have good relations with on this site. :) —PaizuriMUN♦Talkpage♦My Contributions♦03:13, 1 January 2010 (UTC)

Oh.

Well I was going to say something funny, but as I said, I forgot. And no, I don't want adoption... whatever that is. —The preceding unsigned comment was added byKaleXD (talk • contribs)

Original Sin

I have made a footnote add to the Original Sin story. This is actually the true situation - Eastern Christians and Jews do not interpret the biblical story about Adam and Eve as anything to do with Original Sin. The author of this idea is St.Augustine. If you don't like this add , feel free to delete it but I was interested you were willing to try and find humour in this particular theological field ! --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 10:53, January 2, 2010 (UTC)

Reverend Zim_ulator says: "There are coffee cup stains on this copy, damnit! Now that's good UnJournalism."

Welcome to UnNews, Paizuri, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.

I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.

Good things that can happen to you

You can win awards and prizes! You can become a better writer by subjecting your articles to the scrutiny of UnNews critique machine or UnCanninator shit article detection system. You can become a thorn in the side of Journalism as a whole. You can get promotions, ribbons, and free crockery! You can write stuff your mom would be ashamed to show her friends.

What happened to my article?

If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.

Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.

Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?

At present, I create UnCartoons for UnNews all by my onesies, for better or worse. Now, I will never claim that I am a good cartoonist. Fortunately, the internet provides us a way to do all sorts of things simply and easily. I found Stripgenerator.com, a great site to create cartoons with a minimum of talent.

This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir Rev. Zim(Talk)Get saved! 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC)

Ok, lemme see the full frontal photos then. BUT sorry Pelargonium, you have to be over 18, so you have to wait at least a few years until you can upload nudey photos... (PS: I do not smell fishy, Syndrome, quit shoving tuna up your nose.) – (ooh!)(aah!)...·º•ø®@»LEGCUNGUNDUN06:13, 5 January 2010

Nipples

Thank You For Finally Taking Out The TrashUnfortunately, the situation in the kitchen has not changed. I made it a point to not create a single dirty dish in this sink for the very purpose of demonstrating to you that the mess in the kitchen is not somehow our problem but is, in fact, your problem. Technically, that makes it my problem as well but said problem is one of inconvenience as opposed to the complete negligence inherent in your failure to clean up after yourself. It's also come to my attention that you and your friends have been urinating in the kitchen sink, despite the fact that it's full of dirty dishes. while your reluctance to touch the dishes is understandable it does not form a basis for me to empathize with you. While I shouldn't be bargaining with you again, I'll agree to clear a path to the bathroom sink so that everyone will have a place to urinate. All you need to do is simply dispose of the dirty dishes. We'll buy more at the flea market.

...the word and the act. While violence cloaks itself in a plethora of disguises, its favorite mantle still remains... sex. Violence devours all it touches, its voracious appetite rarely fulfilled. Yet violence doesn't only destroy, it creates and molds as well. Let's examine closely then this dangerously evil creation, this new breed encased and contained within the supple skin of woman. The softness is there, the unmistakable smell of female, the surface shiny and silken, the body yielding yet wanton. But a word of caution: handle with care and don't drop your guard. This rapacious new breed prowls both alone and in packs, operating at any level, any time, anywhere, and with anybody. Who are they? One might be your secretary, your doctor's receptionist... or a dancer in a go-go club!....................................................

More nipples! You almost have a not-so-secret girly picture talk page!-- 16:18, January 6, 2010 (UTC)

Hey, you voted for my article on VFH and helped make it a feature.

8===========D~ ~ ~ ~O:

And I'm too lazy to make a proper template for it. Thanks! sausagelol 18:54, January 7, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost January several-days-agoth

'Tis the season to abstain with extreme prejudice! Yes, every anal-retentive voting obsessive's favourite time of the year has arrived: January marks the point of the year when the awards for the best things of the previous year are voted on! If that's not an oxymoron on a site that is acknowledged to be the worst, of course. This poll-packed month sees WotY, UotY and PotY join (deep breath) WotM, UotM, PotM, NotM, AotM, RotM, EGA, FP, PWotM, ANOTM, Top 10 o' the month, UGotM, VFH, VFD, VFS and VFP as forums for people to air their opinions, prejudices, minor rivalries and petty jealousies. And as if this wasn't enough voting-related thrills 'n' spills, when the Top 10 articles of December 2009 have been decided, there'll be the Top 10 articles of 2009 proper to vote for!

UnSignpost's fearless reporter and mascot DogNewspaper (pictured) predicts a bumper month for whoring, in-fighting, backstabbing and bitching as users scramble to secure themselves a fleeting moment's recognition from up to several of their peers. Followed by next to no voting in February, as everyone recovers.

As Uncyclopedia drunkenly stumbles into the new decade, barely managing to hold down that spicy dinner it had for lunch, the non-existent cabal would like to wish all residents a happy new year. And by wish we mean order, residents would be subjects and by happy new year we mean fuck you all where communism hasn't failed yet.
Yes ladies and gentlemen, we saw it all in 2009. We saw dozens of forums declaring that we're the worst (which we know), we saw numerous editors leave the front door open on the way out (come on people! it's bloody -7 outside!), we saw epic banninations (the simple joys of life), we saw prolific gay bashing (ideologically pure of course), we saw religious wars over sausages, we saw the worst 100 reflections of 2009 barely close before the midnight of December 31st. You promised in 2008 you wouldn't do that. You failed us.

And so, ladies and gentlemen, we raise our collective arses from the toilet which was 2009, wiping it with the first anniversary edition of the UnSignpost, as this is the only good thing that ever came out of this rag of a newspaper. We would like to ask humbly that the population of Uncyclopedia do the following: Please, for the love of Sophia, remain calm; exit the building in an orderly fashion; remember that objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are; understand that allergen traces may be found in this Uncyclopedia. And always remember the prime directive: you are here to have fun. Or in short - shut the fuck up and go write an article.

Thank you for your undivided attention citizens. You may now remove your muzzles.

23:05, 3 January 2010 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 98.217.57.240 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (That was a waste of an edit. There are edit-starved kids in China that would've used that to its fullest extent, you know.)

Biopic of the Week

Prowling the corridors of pee review with a light step but a heavy hand, ChiefjusticeDS is Uncyc's reigning king of the golden river. He's reviewed more articles than most Uncyclopedians have read. In their entire lives. And he keeps a benevolent eye on everyone else, making sure there's no stale pee in the pond. If you've had a good review in the last year or so, he probably had a hand in that somewhere. Doff your cap and move on.

Old-School Featured Article of the Week

HowTo:Run away from home is a guide to every early teenager's ultimate weapon in the never-ending battle with the forces of evil as represented by their parents. Written by Alksub - who most of our readership won't remember - this is exactly what to do next time your parents don't let you stay out late to meet that nice-sounding kid you met over MSN who seemed very keen to hook up and get to know you better!

Trend of the Year (so far)

Username changing. Username a little short? Lengthen it for no good reason! All thecool kids are doing it, apparently.

I LIKE CAKE!!!

Hi, saw your note on Avatar. The construciton template didn't seem to mean anything, so I took it off and reworked the page into an already existing storyline (that the film is a documentary) and maybe if people can use that as a spine the story will stop wandering and shape up into an interesting page. Thoughts? Thanks, Aleister in Chains Pandora, MMX

Ahh. You just ripped out the entire section on the documentary and replaced it with a plot summary which summarizes the real movie. Why not at least leave the documentary section and not huff it, and then say the "supposed plot" of the public film or something. Aleister in Chains MMX

I took out that part because it just wasn't very well-written and amateur-ish. Did you have any ideas to make it better? —PaizuriMUN(Talk•Contribs•Poll!)01:53, 22 January 2010 (UTC)

It could have been made better, but at least it was a premise rescued from lots and lots of stupidness coming onto the page. I'm worried that the page is aimless again, no story line, and your plot was just a summary which I think the IP's will tear apart very quickly. Do you have an idea for a story line if you didn't like that one? To me, what's more fun than Cameron's film being a documentary, a report on what happened to him when he was taken to Pandora and fought Halliburton and Blackwater to save his forest friends, and then made a film about it. I'm concerned that the reign of the IP's will overrun the page at some point soon, and it needs to find some storyline to stick too. Good to meet you too! Nice work. Aleister in Chains mmx

Okay...why don't we discuss this on the article's talk page so we can properly collab? Sorry about getting off on kind of a bad start. That's what you get for just jumping into a project without discussing beforehand what to do or something. —PaizuriMUN(Talk•Contribs•Poll!)23:00, 22 January 2010 (UTC)

You are correct. Will get to the talk page soon, thanks for the spanking. Ally in Chains I like cake, MMX

UnSignpost 21th January 2009

Yes folks, as the first month of this new decade lurches slowly and falteringly towards conclusion, the ... of the Year awards showdown is accelerating towards a thrillingclimax! Your ever-topical UnSignpost mascot DogNewspaper therefore brings you this essential and timely guide to the runners and riders!.

In the most prestigious award of the lot, Writer of the Year, the race for second place behind prolific funny factory and champion-elect Hype is neck and neck between apparently-no-longer-hirsute TKF fan-club president and feature-machine Guildy and low-profile but high-quality-output, er, feature-machine Sog1970. But wait! There's still a chance they could get caught by the chasing pack of little-known and modest Scouser Mhaille, hetero macho-man Orian57, antipodean canine PuppyOnTheRadio and none-more-metal mosher Monika. Oh, andsomeotherchancers have been nommed without polling a single vote (including DrStrange, who is currently looking likely to become the first Uncyclopedian ever to win WotMtwice, but hasn't carried that form over to WotY - odd).

Meanwhile, over at PotY, the race for second place behind Sonje is even closer, with both Modus and some n00b polling a creditable one nom but no votes each! Who will pull ahead by the end of the month? It's a competition you just can't keep your eyes off!

Disappointingly, the UotY vote lets the side down, with seemingly a boring old race for first place between Belgian one-man categorisation whirlwind, maintenance addict, broken thing fixer, BUTT POOP!!! junkie and footwear-as-handwear exponent Socky and handsome English admin who wrote this article and is not in the least bit biased UU. The apparent scramble to be runner-up to whichever of these two is runner-up is far more interesting, as non-stop wikifixer MadMax goes up against Welsh Rarebit RabbiTechno, not-Yorkshire-enough admin Mordillo, vowel-free-zone Mnbvcxz and Moterfucking Nigger Lover Roman Dog Bird. Damned with the faint praise of a nom with no votes in this category are the pants bomber, talk page king FU Spang, human non-sequitur generator Modus and absent but deadly hockey nut Gerry.

And finally, over where it's really at, the NotD cockfight is almost impossible to call! Will plucky outsider RC hold off the challenge of Apple, Apples and Maddie's life? The tension is quite literally unbearable!

Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18) - This week, you have a dream, that one day you will be judged not by the color of your skin but by Simon Cowell.

Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22) - If Martin Luther King had believed them when they told him "Silence is golden", he never would have accomplished his great work in the cause of civil rights. You, on the other hand, are just a mouthy bitch. Silence is golden.

12:33, 18 January 2010 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 196.12.233.26 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (And the Lord said unto me, "Cursed are the page blankers, for they are the least of my creations; take up thy banhammer and smite them")

Biopic of the Week

Conscientious vote-machine Romartus has been around longer than you might think - kick-starting his Uncyc career with a series of DYK suggestions, before hitting his stride. Known as one of the more "demanding" voters on VFH, Romartus has also been diligently saving some of the less-deserving articles on VFD. He also breeds tropical ferrets. One of the previous statements is a lie, introduced by the biographer in lieu of a joke. Use your skill and judgement to work out which one!

Old-School Featured Article of the Week

Really Big Tree is an article about a really big tree. This tree is of such an immense size, it is scarcely credible. Few trees deserve their own Uncyclopedia article, but the Really Big Tree deserves its own wiki. You may think you have encountered trees of impressive size before, but you haven't seen a tree at all until you've experienced the Really Big Tree!

MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) resurrected Cajek (Talk | contribs) (blocking Cajek is Sooooo old school. Unblocking Cajek is the new, new school. Not that I went to school. Obviously.)

The (probably short-lived) return of UU's Obscure British Dialect Expression of the Week

Were you to find yourself in Norwich, Engerland, you may happen upon a local. Were that local to then say to you "dew yew keep a troshin'", you may find yourself somewhat at a loss for a reasonable response - well, no more! Yes, your ever-useful UnSignpost is here to furnish you with a translation, which is: "take care of yourself". (It comes from "carry on with the threshing", if that helps, although we can't see how it would). So now if you find yourself in Norwich, Engerland, the only thing you have to worry about is getting out of there. Fast!

Thanks

Thanks! I'll use the door that's right over there I'm from Desciclopédia (how about create this article?), just here for... hm... for... well I don't know xD, but thanks anyway Truewww 01:31, January 25, 2010 (UTC)

HI~!

Hey, I started the article HowTo:Make a Death Star and I was happy to see that a day later, there was already someone editing it (if you don't know, that you XD)! >o< So thanks a whole lot for that! It made me want to get an account to tell you thank you (even if it was such a small contribution!).
Oh, I've completed it if you want to check it out. Give me some tips if you can, please? That was my first article ever, inspired by HowTo:Take Over The World. :) --AF-StoryWeaver 23:51, January 25, 2010 (UTC)