Phat and Fabulous...

Big Mama here, wishing you Champagne dreams and chocolatines!I hope you are well and taking care of yourself. Life is too short to eat bad food.

A few years ago, I reached my goal weight of 135 pounds.As you may or may not know, my heaviest weight was 215 pounds.

I remember that day. At the time, I was living in Las Vegas, and decided to give Weight Watchers a go. I showed up to a meeting, and checked-in, which also means weighing-in.When the lady who was helping me told me I was 215 pounds, I broke down in tears.And failed to lose weight.Instead of seeing it as an opportunity to change, I choose not to and maybe because I wasn't ready to.I didn't consider myself morbidly obese, I considered myself voluptuous and fierce, but when I couldn't bend over to tie my shoes and was limited to only plus-sized stores, I knew something had to give, but even then, I did nothing about my weight.

When I moved to France, in August of 2010, I was 92 kilos, about 202 pounds.I remember that day profoundly, you see to obtain a visa in France, it is obligatory to get a check up (TB, diabetes, etc.) and also to weigh in. My "doctor" told me that I was "too fat" and I needed "to stop eating McDonald's and drinking Coca-Cola." Despite the fact, that I hardly ate McDonald's, I was shocked and again, I broke down in tears.That time, it clicked.I became angry. I decided right there and then, that I would show EVERYONE of these French motherfuckers.

I made the decision to best them at EVERYTHING - their language, their food, their history, their language, their thoughts, their mannerisms... etc.Everyone of these French motherfuckers....

So, I had my work cut out for me. I had to make a plan. I had to figure out how I could take all these bitches down.I filled myself with fire and when doubts reared their ugly head, such as: How could I take on a country who is FAR MORE stubborn than I am?How could I take on a people who are stauncher than I am?When those doubts came up, I doused them in fire.

How did I do it!!?I did 5 things: I read, I learned, I observed, I remained patient and I made a plan.

I watched for the tiniest details, I reread (French) history and (French) philosophy, I learned their language, I learned their cuisine... but while I was planning a hostile takeover, what was really happening was that I was learning more about me!

You see, I just asked myself some very simple questions, and came up with this equation to help put me in check: What do I like? + What do I like doing? = Who I am! ME!

I applied this simple equation to everything and in the end, it is how I lost weight!!I simply made a plan/list and wrote down everything I love and everything I love doing.

I know I LOVE to eat well and drink well - my I LOVE FOOD list was very specific and when I noticed what I love eating and drinking aligned itself with Atkins Diet, well, it was like magic!Check out my MENU for yourself:

Breakfast - 2 fried eggs topped with cheddar cheese, 8 slices of bacon, coffeeLunch - Taco (either ground beef or chicken) Salad - complete with tomatoes, cheese, salsa, jalapenos, cream and fresh cilantro!I would buy a bag of salad (for 3-4 people) and eat half of it for lunch and eat the other half for dinner.Dinner - Duck breast (sometimes the whole breast, sometimes half of it, depended on how hungry I was) with either a cauliflower or broccoli au gratin (broccoli florets or mashed cauliflower, mixed with cream cheese, cream, salt and pepper, and topped with freshly grated cheddar cheese) and a salad with oil and vinegar or ranch dressing.Snacks: If I ate anything... I would choose from the following: cucumbers or celery with cream cheese, fiber crackers (3carbs!) with sliced cheese like gouda, havarti, comté, beaufort, and/or cheddar. Cheddar chips (baked cheese) with ranch dressing! Olives with anchovies, ham and cheese roll-ups...Please note that all of my portion sizes are AMERICAN portion sizes.*

So, with a menu like that, rich and so full of goodness, I never felt I was missing anything. My tastes have changed, I don't crave sweets or crap or sodas anymore.My body doesn't like it. And yes, I do have cheat meals, sometimes a girls gotta have pizza, or a dessert, or a burger, or nachos! But those are few and far between, because I have learned to cook Italian, Mexican, Greek, French, Asian, American, German food the Atkins way, so again, I'm not deprived.

I have fed myself well - through food, drink, literature, understanding... and I have changed.Instead of wanting to burn France to the ground, I have learned to quench my flames.I have become softer, sweeter, like a candle flame, and I am somehow more in tune with who I am and who I wish to be. Perhaps it is age? I shall celebrate my birthday at the end of this month, and my birthday wish is for YOU to be your best self.

Today, I weigh 123 pounds (give or take a few) and wear the French size 36-38, American size 4-6.I could tone up a little more and will this summer, as I am giving FREE Belly-Yoga lessons at a local park. It's my birthday gift to you!

Today's blog post is about NOTHING in particular. Just probably some rants, recent discoveries, and how you must go a little cuckoo to blend in with the natives. As in the bird. The bird is the word.

Like everyone, I have a life. In my life, I have taken drastic measures to ensure I can spend all of my free time doing what I love. And what I love to do is nothing.A few months ago, I wrote a piece (just scroll down) about how it is hard work being lazy. Yes, it is paradoxical, however, I have found that I live in the perfect place for paradoxes! France and the French are famous for their paradoxes -- like why these mofos can eat a diet rich in saturated fat (cheese, please!) yet have very low incidents of heart attacks and heart disease. (Of course, we must also consider that French people don't have hearts. ha!) Or why the French have that obvious -- je ne sais quoi.

Being a former journalist and investigator, I do what any good spy would do.Watch and wait and then mimic, like a ﻿cuckoo﻿ bird. (The bird is the word!)This is my secret for adjusting to this new paradoxical life without going cuckoo in the process, which has it's challenges, and to which I just chalk it up to a little thing called LIFE.

I will always be the outsider in this foreign land of France, my funny accent gives me away all the time, but when I mimic the French and have their same mannerisms, expressions, and body language, the game changes.They are taken aback, they freeze, they immediately stop what they may be doing or saying, and they become mesmerized. They are under my spell. They listen to what I have to say. They become my cuckold, in the figurative sense, obviously.

You want examples?One time, a highly decorated French military commander saluted me.I've had Frenchmen and women bow and courtesy before me.A Frenchman, after I motioned to him to keep quiet with my hand, offered me lunch at his restaurant.

You want paradoxes, now?This shit doesn't work on my French husband. Marriage is a whole other sport.UGH!

Listen up my sweets... if you are struggling to fit in France, take this follow advice to heart: When in France, do as the French.Mimic them, do not mock them.

Frenchified for Life

is a fabulous little lifestyle blog about truly embracing French life!

​My intent is to simply inspire you to create something unique and beautiful in your everyday life. The French have this wonderful and annoying habit of seeing the world through rose colored glasses, might as well learn something from them!

That said, I lift my glass to you!

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