ianmacd -
your life is truly over. However, there is one useful thing
you can do. Get the Xb*x to generate a GSOD (it allegedly
that it errors to green, rather than blue), and then get in
touch with the maintainer of xscreensaver and get him a
screenshot so that it can be added to the next release. You
will then be forgiven. Of course, if you can get Linux
running on it, you get extra marks. (-8