Jukebox Skipping

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Dort's Bar & Grill, Papillion -- REVIEW

129 North Washington StreetPapillion NE 68046402-331-9973

Once a bank?

A few years ago I was talking with Jaret Reddick (the lead
singer of Bowling for Soup) a few hours before they were playing a gig in
Papillion. I asked, kind of as a joke,
if the venue called "The Rock" served beer.
I was surprised when he quickly responded by saying “Dude, that place is
dry!” Having never been to Papillion
before that day, I asked him what to do for a few beers before the show…his
answer was a place called Dort’s. If
it’s good enough for the guy who sings “Hooray for Beer” I’m sure it will be
fine with me. Fast-forward several
years…and I have not been back there until this weekend.

PROS: No frills. Old school.
Great-smelling prime rib.

CONS: It’s in Sarpy
County…aka Sarpy cops.

Old school bar

First Impressions:
Wingman for the day Speck noted, as we walked up to the front door, that
Dort’s looked more like the outside of a bank than the outside of a 50 year-old
bar. I had to completely agree. There was a bit of a funky smell as we took a
seat at the bar, but that’s not all that uncommon in older bars. It was pretty quiet, so we made sure not to
disrupt the three patrons watching an Abbott and Costello movie.

The Bar: It looks
like just about any other old shot and beer place that were on every street corner in Western
Pennsylvania when I was growing up…so I immediately felt right at home. There are four beers on tap and a relatively
well-stocked cooler of a wide variety of
bottled and canned beer. By the way the
rest of Dort’s is set up, it looks like they are getting ready for a good ‘ole
hunky fire hall wedding. And bring the
kids, they have a back room with several
video games.

The Crowd: Speck and
I made the total number of patrons exactly 5 once we sat down. Check that, one of the guys at the bar was
also the bartender…so make that 4 patrons and one employee. We were the only two not eligible for AARP
benefits, and unlike the “hipsters” around town who drink PBR because it’s the
in thing to do…the one old dude was pouring his PBR into a glass right out of
the can. Now THAT’S how you do it you
bunch of dorks at the Homy Inn!

No frills...good times

Service: Want service
with a smile? Go to the mall. Want a crusty old bartender to get you a
beer? Come to Dort’s. He seemed like a fine enough guy, but I can
usually size-up a bartender who is not in the mood for a few strangers to
strike up small talk when he has shit to do.
But also not surprising, our glasses were never empty.

Price: We were paying
$2.25 for a pint of domestic beer…well Speck was paying…I was freeloading for
the day. I did see a sign that happy
hour is Monday-Friday and that will get you $1 draws and $2 bottles. Better than half off a draft beer at happy
hour…now that’s how you do it Rusty Nail!

Food: We didn’t
eat…but the prime rib the bartender was making for that evening’s dinner
special smelled amazing. They have great
lunch specials listed for everyday of the week, and in doing a quick Urbanspoon review, Dort’s gets great reviews for their food.

A real PBR drinker!

Entertainment: Does
Sarpy County have their own Keno? For
once I saw something other than Big Red Keno called Players Keno…not that I pay
Keno it just looked a bit strange. They
have a few TVs around the bar…some of which seem to only be on rabbit
ears. And like I said earlier, there is
a separate room in the back that has a few video games and one of those
eat-all-your-quarters crane games.

Restrooms: The bar is
50 years-old, I assume that the building is older than that, so they are pretty
much as expected. Not great. Not awful.
In a nice touch for a bar bathroom…there were even fake flowers in the
men’s room. Now there’s a first!

Bartender Chat: Name. Rank. And drink order.

How Far did Speck’s $20 Go:
Eight pints is not too shabby at all since we were there during a
non-happy hour. Show up during the week
between 4-6 and 20 bucks will get you 20 pints…bring a driver if slamming 20
beers in two hours is on your agenda.

Flowers...nice touch!

Final Impressions:
This is an old-school, no frills place to have a few cheap beers and
possibly hang around for a real home-cooked lunch or dinner. If you need ambience, some sort of boat
drink, or "fancy" yourself a club goer…do not waste your time here. In fact don’t
come here ever…you will ruin the atmosphere.
But, if you’re someone like me who feels at home in an older bar, with
an older crowd and are content having a few beers while watching a 65 year-old black and
white movie, all I can say is HIT THIS DIVE.