…but do I want to change???

Happiness, Joy, Balance…What??!

Last night I sat in a room with a bunch of women who “get” me. They listen when I speak and they understand what I say. That can’t be said of everyone in the world, but with these ladies fear of sharing quickly drops away. I know I can trust them, and I know they will support me, no matter what.

Do you have friends like that in your life? I hope you do.

Something that I shared at the end of our time last night has remained with me overnight. I thought of it this morning, when I woke. I thought about it again on the way to work. I thought about it when I opened my computer and began my day job. I was thinking of it again a few minutes ago…

Maybe when I left last night, the good stuff was just beginning to seep out of me, and I couldn’t finish what I’d begun. I was out of time. Maybe that’s why I’m still thinking about it today, I don’t know.

I’m concerned that I don’t know the meaning of balance in my life.

I wonder some days if I know how to be “happy.”

I know how to be intense.

I can “do” introspection.

I’ve learned loyalty to my skill set.

I’m good at critique, real good at it, but am I equally as “good” at experiencing joy or happiness, or finding balance between the hard and the easy of life?

I seem to spend myself on the hard.

When I look at the imaginary pie chart of activities in my head, it looks like I spend a disproportionate amount of time problem solving, as compared to embracing or creating joyful memories.

How do I flip the equation?

Maybe we all get in ruts along the way to here, and I’ve gotten in one that will take some work to get out of, I don’t know. I just know that my default setting seems to me to be something other than joy.

Can you relate?

Have you had to “teach yourself” to be more lighthearted, or are you naturally someone who levitates to the joyful side of life? When have you wished you were wired differently?

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8 thoughts on “Happiness, Joy, Balance…What??!”

I have discovered we have dominant traits. We can alter them if we choose to, but our tendencies based on life’s experiences has guided us to where we stand today. Every machine needs fine tuning and maintenance to function well. We are no different. We assume our bodies and mind will take care of itself because we have survived this way for “X” amount of years. We also have a tendency to wait until mortality takes on greater meaning before attempting to address this issue in a meaningful way. Once the “light bulb” flips on brightening our awareness, it becomes possible to improve our BALANCE in life. Some of us are visual, some of us are auditory and some of us must speak aloud. Using these strengths, begin seeking the missing pieces of your personal jig saw puzzle. New pieces can ALWAYS be found throughout life. Applying the meaningful pieces that show patterns and needs become the pieces that add the most value to life.
I hope this helps.

It does help, thank you, Jonathan. I have been taught God + Experience = Me. Meaning, I believe I was made with some core instructions, but beyond that my experiences have molded me to be the person I am today. Some days, though, I hate that universal law that says if you want that, you have to give this. Ah, reciprocity–it is the way of our world.

I don’t know who those people are who get to have it all–I know none of them.

Life is give and take, and I accept that, but I also know that as we practice new behaviors, sometimes we do change. That’s what habit is all about, right? That is where hope is found for me today!

I think you have to remind yourself about the happy things daily. In my darkest days (my ex had cancer, then asked for a divorce), it was all I could do to get up each morning and put a smile on my face for my daughters. During that time, I felt like every time I stood up, I was run down by a mac truck! But, I found happiness in the little things — a quick snuggle with my daughters, coffee with a friend, etc. And, during those brief moments I did not allow myself to worry or wallow in the difficulties I was going through. I had a friend who had a very sick little boy and she was a single mom. She used to tell me that she only allowed herself 20 minutes a day to cry and it was only after her son went to bed. You said above that as we practive new behaviors, sometimes we do change. Yes, that is how you form a new habit. I firmly subscribe to the “fake it till you make it” theory. Change IS possible. It just takes a commitment in your head (or write it down) and a constant effort to stay the course. Soon, it gets easier until it becomes part of who you are. I’ll check back soon to see how you’re doing! I hope this helps.

Thank you, Thank YOU! It does help. It always helps when I feel like my ramblings are understood by others. Your examples here of how to seek balance and joy in the midst of strife ring authentic to my ears. Thank you so much for sharing these examples and thanks for wishing me well. Stop back any time. Any time!!!

I’m glad I can help. I promise you every word I wrote is true and it was truly the darkest time of my life. All I wanted to do was cry and ask, “Why me? What did I do to deserve this?” But I couldn’t. I had to take care of my girls, I had to work, I had to push myself away from self-pity, doubt and depression. And, here I am, sharing what worked for me with you! 🙂 Hang in there. You’ll find your balance and joy. Just keep looking!

It took me a long time to figure out the value in being me. I’m intense and dramatic by nature. I feel deeply. I laugh often, but I’m not lighthearted. Sometimes I worry I overwhelm people just by being me. I rarely sit down and just inhale the beauty of my life, but I am amazing in a crisis. I’m not bragging, but feelings that scare and overwhelm people (like mental illness and suicide) don’t intimidate me. I like to think of life like a puzzle and we all have a unique place to fit. I was designed the way I was for a reason. So, I can be content with the shape of my journey, even if it’s more intense and less full of smelling roses than some others.

As a teenager, I always had the level head in our group. Not sure why, but I was the analytical one. My friends were not. They were drove by emotion most of the time, and I was too, sometimes (hormones being what they are), but most times I was the one who broke “it” down for them through logical dismantling procedures.

I just wish some days that I could leave all the brain work behind and embrace that flowery fragrance in my garden or pasture. Regrettably, I’m probably more “concerned” with where the fence might be sagging or the beetles have infected budding plants.

I guess most of the time I am okay with being a corner piece in the puzzle of life, but sometimes I want to be that vibrant, striking, last piece placed! 🙂