Submitted Work

Reviews Ed Has Written

Ready for its close-up

Overall Recommendation:

5 stars

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Premise:

5 stars

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Story structure:

5 stars

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Character:

5 stars

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Dialogue:

5 stars

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Emotion:

5 stars

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September 04, 2012

I’m pretty sure I’ve read every draft of this script since Marty first put it up back in the shiny new days of AS. Those early drafts took a great premise, filled it out with a workmanlike structure, and then steadily tweaked it. Obviously it was a great success here and richly deserved its place on the initial Development Slate.

Now, with this low-fanfare release of AS’s own version -- presumably developed by Marty in conjunction with feedback from AS’s development pros -- we can see several substantial changes, all for the better: Bigger start, tighter focus on the main conflicts, small but needed technical tweaks (Nitrox for deep diving; putting the CIA, not the FBI, in Langley; etc.). It all adds up, for me, at least, to a project that feels ready for its close-up.

Here’s hoping we’re now looking at AS’s first major-studio green light. It ought to be. This could be a big picture.

A Wild and Engaging Ride

Overall Recommendation:

5 stars

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Premise:

5 stars

&nbsp;

Story structure:

5 stars

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Character:

4 stars

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Dialogue:

4 stars

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Emotion:

3 stars

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June 07, 2011

What an excellent concept: Transplant a few archetypes from the American Indian wars of the late 1800s to the British colonial Indian wars of the same time. FORT APACHE meets KING OF THE KHYBER RIFLES. Add a very polished execution that neatly gets our American cavalry heroes into the sub continental fray without fraying our disbelief suspension line and you’ve got a double tent pole flying all sorts of colors, both national and ethnic.

This is a wild and very enjoyable ride. Accent “ride.” The horsemanship visuals come off the script page and into your head as if they’ve already been filmed. The battle scenes grow in frequency and intensity. The jeopardy ratchets up nonstop.

Minor quibbles? The very occasional bit of on-the-nose dialogue. The occasional predictably stuffy British colonial twit. A bit of emotional detachment.

But those are minor. This is a script sounding a rousing bugle call: Mount up and film me!