How do you feel?

How do you feel?

We cannot change the way someone thinks or feels but we can affect it.
Words hurt.
The words of Hitler had the entire world in bloodshed.
We can choose whether we take words personally.
Our Ancestors did not know they had a choice to feel their feelings.
People back then taught boys don’t cry
Today many teach it is wrong to be angry.

Be the one person that someone believes this world has good.
You can infect this world or effect.
Each one of us can choose to be affected when we mirror each other’s feelings.
Each one of us has the ability to mirror happiness or mirror hurt.
If every individual mirror’s happiness we can save our planet.

The way out is through trauma
If you have depression or as I break into 3 words you have deep repressed emotion.
You may want to try moving backward in order to go forward.
The cure is to express those repressed emotions
The release is in order to feel relief.
How? If you are like I was then you do not know how to feel feelings.
You may feel nothing due to a lifetime of repressed feelings. You may feel like you are dead or numb inside.

Have you repressed emotions for so long by people pleasing, self-sacrificing, worrying nonstop about everyone else’s feelings I had to learn how to feel all of my feelings?
Parents are not perfect. I learned and admit, that I to had made a huge mistake when parenting. By disciplining my children’s behavior I learned I had also disciplined their thoughts and feelings. I did not ask my son why he felt like hitting his friend, maybe he had a valid reason.
A child believes if my feelings are not valid, I am not valid or if my feelings do not matter I do not matter.

If I had asked Why he felt like hitting his friend or how he felt about not having him as a friend he would have learned then that it is okay to be angry. And chose a different way to handle the anger. I suggest now consequence the action and discuss the feelings.
It is okay to be angry, it is okay to be sad, how we handle those feelings is what we consequence, the action. Humans punish, blame and shame each other themselves more than all other species we blame ourselves thousands of times while dogs blame themselves just once.
This is important because most prisoners feel the reason they are in jail is that they are bad. They do not know we cannot measure feelings, and therefore feelings are not good or bad or right or wrong feelings are feelings however actions are separate A child believes “If my feelings are bad, then I am bad.” or worse “if my feelings do not matter I do not matter.” This for me had heartbreaking results. I spent most of my life people pleasing and self-sacrificing to be good so I could matter. I did not know it was my choice to feel however I wanted, In order to learn how to feel again I needed to ignore everyone who told me what to think to feel or do or even say, then ask myself over and over how I feel, asking myself questions How does it feel when How do I feel when How do I feel is what I had to ask myself and answer myself. We have far too many heroes or villains telling us what to feel or think. No one can please anyone only we can please you and others themselves. Every single individual on Earth has self-worth, you are worthy of self the moment you are born. Spirituality is simple it is studying your self. I chose to discover my feelings release repressed feelings and feel positive however my negative feelings still need and needed validation I abandoned my negative feelings my whole life, every time I said yes when I meant no, and did something I did not want to do, I made an enemy out of myself an no longer liked or trusted myself. If self- hate was art I was an artist. People called me fake and lame and phony because from the outside it probably looked like I was annoyingly good or a brown noser but the reality is the opposite, I was just as selfish I was being nice because I thought it would mean I was good and good meant I mattered. I would have never mattered to anyone because what I did not know is we have to matter first. Initially this is the most amazing feeling because you get your life for the first time, you get to live your life doing everything you want, do not be surprised if you want to do it all, however it becomes painful when you realize the ones that did not tell you or took advantage of you were those closest and the pain, hurt and trauma really rise when you discover they knew and did not say anything to you. This is your first opportunity to feel your feelings do not abandon them. You matter and your feelings matter. You will need to pick yourself up off the ground, this will take time, the key is, do not abandon yourself, no matter how negative you feel, no one’s life is or always perfect. Feelings are not always positive. It is time to trust yourself to choose your feelings to take control of them before they control you. Release repressed emotions because for some of us contrast is how we learn. From sad, we found how to feel happy to feel happy,
Turn envy into desire, anxiety into balance, fear into bravery panic into laughter, hate into love, hopeless into motivation. If you need to cry, Cry. It is okay to not be okay. When you have expressed and validated your emotions. Pick yourself up and keep going, don’t stop get back up you have conquered negativity, you will be ready the next time grief or pain come knocking on life’s door. You will know how to validate hurt and turn hurt into healing, you know you will survive because you are already a survivor.