My soon to be husband and I both have ADD/ADHD Help!!!

Hello, I'm new to this and really have not a clue if I'm doing this right but any how here I go . I would love some feed back and some advice with my relationship to the man I love dearly before we both just walk away. We both suffer from ADHD/ADD I am a 30 year old women divorced one time. My soon to be husband is 26 and also is divorced times one.. I have no children he has two a boy 6 and a girl 4. When we first got together almost 3 years ago it was so wonderful we needless to say feel in love in a months time. On our third date we discussed the things that bothered us and what makes us happy. I told him that I had a problem with my anger and I get easily frustrated and that I am not always a nice person or easy to get along with. Not by fault because to the day I can remember I don't really know why I was so angry all the time and so hyper and very talkative to anyone even people i didn't know. I have always struggled in relationships starting when I was allowed to start dating at the age of 15. I tend to push people away and make them feel less then human at times. He said that he tends to get frustrated easy as well and he's also either on the up or the down like a roller costar. So i proceed to tell him that I was diagnosed with ADHD/ADD at a young age and my mother didn't want me on meds. I struggled most of my school years due to not having medication to assist me in paying attention. He then told me that he was diagnosed at a young age as well that his mother did have him on medication. He stopped taking the meds. the older he got. He said that he was worried to tell me of his disability as for me its easy for me to tell all I'm just a blunt person and think that people should take me as i am. He proceed to tell me the last relationship he was in before me she thought it was embarrassing that he had ADHD/ADD. Well to get on with our issues. We get into many fights and arguments i mean to the point where we push and scream I try to walk away and he is following yelling and getting in my way of an exit or i as well have had to lock myself in the bathroom just to get away from him and he actually got the drill out and unscrewed the door knob so he could keep fighting. It's never quiet around our house per say :(. I don't know how much more of this miss communication arguments I can handle I say very hateful things to him just because sometimes I just cant understand why he says or does the things he dose it frustrates the last living nerve in my body. So I am currently on medication for my ADHD/ADD Adderall 40 mg and it puts me in a great mood until someone or something frustrates me then I fly off the handle and when i start getting tired from taking my meds i get short and angry with people. My future hubby is not on anything so when my mood is up he's not and we start to bicker about anything he has lack of motivation when he is at home but willing to help family and friends but not me he puts my needs last most of the time. I'm so tired of picking up after him all the time. I tried to tell him that he needs to also maybe go talk to the doctor about getting on some meds for his moods so we are'nt so off set from one another and he says he will but that was said 2 months ago and still he has done nothing. I'm just so ready to give up on us i went to the shrink and to my primary doctor and i got help for the hope of bettering our relationship but guess what I cant do it by myself and my shrink warned me that if I started to take my meds then my future hubby and i will have a teeter toter effect, she was right. Not to mention he also is a retired soldier he did 3 tours over seas and I know he may have issues with dealing with what happened over there and the stuff he has seen and did but he wont talk to anyone about being over there so i know that in its self doesn't have a good effect on our relationship I don't push him to talk about it causeIi really don't want to know what happened over there cause i don't want to freak out but i do ask him to go talk to someone. I don't know what to do anymore my hands are up in the air. He also thinks that the meds make my anger worse he says I'm to quick to get upset over things but I'm not to sure if its the meds or that I'm taking something for my ADHD/ADD and he can tell the change or I can tell that his ADHD/ADD may be worse then mine because I am taking meds and it slows me down and helps me focus so I do get frustrated with him more then usual due to me realizing that he needs to be on meds. I don't know if any of this makes any sense at all to anyone but I really hope it dose to someone. P.s. I'm the one that only has one emotion which is anger I can't seem to cry i come close to it and all crying or even the thought of crying angers me,I tend to impulse shop or save things online wanting to buy them but almost never do, I also like everything clean and orderly everything has it's place, I interrupt people on occasion not so much now that i am on meds I don't tolerate people very well, I don't like it when people try to prove me wrong it bothers me. My future hubby always is right he would argue with god if he thought him to be wrong, he tries to finish other peoples sentences while they are talking like he knows what they are going to say next or he knows what they are talking about and he really has no clue, he never picks up after himself I really think he would live in a pig sty, he is emotional, someone help!!!