~ Where fingers tap dance…

Funny invites

At most all blogging sites, invites come in a pre-formatted style. Yet, there are those handful of people who prefer to be original and rejecting the words provided helpfully by the blogging site staff, insert their own, giving the invite a personal touch. That’s a sure fire way to get the attention of the invitee and impress him/her in the bargain. Having been blogging for a couple of years now I have had occasion to receive both kinds. Albeit the boring and standard invites from the ‘lazy’ ones have been the norm rather than the exception, I have received well written original ones with just the right amount of personal touch as well.

What takes the cake are those invites with too much personal touch. Some of them swear eternal love to you and lifelong friendship (oh give me a break!) in their invites. Yet others provide you their cell phone numbers and want you to call them pronto, restless to start off on that journey of love and ‘fraandship’ without much ado. The best are those invites that send you into paroxysm of helpless giggles.

The funny invites.

Thoughtlessly have I sent most all of them to the cyber dustbin, wherever that is, with a click of that all important delete button. It was only much later that the possibilities inherent in some of these weird invites struck me. They would have made excellent forwards to bug all your friends with. Having not yet been hit by senility I can recount a couple of them that I absolutely loved.

One of them had been from this guy who described himself as a photographer. As someone interested in photography, what his interest in grasshoppers was I wouldn’t know. Not of course that grasshoppers are unworthy of being photographed. Excellent subjects highly worthy of attracting any photographer worth his salt with their antennae (which are almost always shorter than the body and sometimes filamentous), ovipositors (short again), hind femora (typically long and strong and fitted for leaping), membranous hind wings and….

Oh I can go on and on about our beautiful insect friend here. But I gather you get my drift. The grasshopper in no way is an inferior subject of study for a photographer. But funnily enough, this particular one didn’t want to immortalize this insect of the sub order of Caelifera in the order of Orthoptera (Phew, I hope I got that right!) by capturing it with his lens.

He wanted to eat it.

Ok, I may just be going overboard when I said that. He didn’t say he wanted to eat it, but rather he was willing to, in this invite he sent. And pray, why was he willing to do that?? If, his invite read, I was not impressed by his blog page, he was willing to swallow a grasshopper, a live one at that. The lengths people go to just for someone to accept an invite amazes me! I didn’t have the heart to call the boy’s bluff and have him swallow that live grasshopper, that fine specimen of insect of the sub order of Caelifera in the order of Orthoptera.

No grasshopper is going to enjoy sailing down the gullet of a human washed down with water, tea or something even stronger. I am quite sure that the poor grasshopper, in all probability hadn’t been consulted beforehand or it even had a say in the matter when tall claims and reckless promises were being made by this smart kid. My heart went out to that fine insect of the, yes, sub order of Caelifera in the order of Orthoptera for having to sacrifice its life for me, for sadly so, impressed by his page I was not. So I quietly slunk away. Shhh…

Now on to another invite.

I know I have a bit of astigmatism and with age setting in I have to have my reading glasses on to read the fine print. But, but… as far as I know I have not yet been afflicted with partial blindness. What makes me wonder, you ask?? Most blogging sites have a space assigned for your display picture either on the left, right or center as the case maybe. I had mine duly posted in said space. The invite that came said that the sender thought I looked beautiful. Awww…. I am hoping that whoever it was he was not afflicted by short-sight, astigmatism, long sight, partial blindness or any other eye affliction. I’d like to think that his vision was puuuurrfffect. Yippeeeee!

Oh yeah, nothing like a few ‘beautiful’s thrown in an invite. Boosts one’s ego tremendously and makes you float and gloat if you are into that sort of thing. Since I am not, I only had to worry about the floating. That’s why I have this brick, yes red one, tied to my leg at all times, to stay grounded. But this first part is not why I was perturbed about my own eyesight.

The invite went on to say that I had a ‘beautiful’ body.

That, I must say, had me stumped. I looked and looked at my display picture. I could only see my face, the eyes, nose, lips therein and my tresses, no competition for Rapunzel those tresses, but tresses in their own right. For the life of me I could not see my body. *Sob sob* My eyes I realized were much worse than I thought and off I dashed to fix that appointment with the ophthalmologist and to get new glasses.

Now there is this other set of invites that come and are sent to the cyber dustbin. They have a common format that reads, “I looked at your profile and well, I liked what I saw. So, my name is Blah Blah. I think we should be friends. You should check out my other profile, I’m always on over there: http://——————– (my username is blah blah). Then maybe we could chat sometime! Talk to you soon, Blah Blah.”

At Yahoo, where I blogged, you have the option of keeping your blogs private, for friends or your network only which is what I had done. All that any stranger could see of my blog page were the lists giving my preferences and the rss feeds. I was left wondering what it was that she, (oh it was a she alright or maybe a he in she’s form, who the heck knows!) saw in my profile that impressed her. Then it hit me.

She was impressed seeing the ‘Lists’!

She was amazed that I watched Animal Planet, Discovery Channel and such. She thought I was awesome coz I read Wodehouse and love Scarlet Pimpernel. She thought I was the cat’s whiskers coz I listened to Ryan Farish and ABBA. On second thoughts I knew I had been wrong there. Hmm… then I got it, how could I not have known. She was impressed by the RSS feeds giving the latest news! “California under renewed state of emergency” it read that day. That’s probably when she whooped with joy, cried ‘My Soul-mate!’ and sent me that invite. How sweet.

34 thoughts on “Funny invites”

Rekha, thank you!! 😛 Wish I had kept more of those invites!! There was this guy who sent loooong invites, enumerating all HIS excellent qualities. Almost made me feel guilty rejecting such an exceptional (in his words) personality. But then I didn’t want my friends list to totter and lose its balance with one of them having such a swollen head!! 😉

Ganga, thank you. Invites are really funny stuff, at least I have found them so at Yahoo! One lady even threatened me with, ‘You don’t know what a good friend you are losing’ when I rejected her invite. And you don’t need extra grey cells to know what sort of page she had!! 😛

hehe I am recalling the way I requested to be in ur list my mumma 😛 ( bha I am sometimes egoistic… I don’t request or in other words send an invite to anyone 😛 But… I couldn’t/can’t be that way with you my mumma daalin 😀 ) tee hee hee though I don’t have a way or know to impress people… I still don’t find it nice to just send a plain invite. Cuz I know how much it turns me offfffffff. And I simply love the way you have written this. You just spoke the things that I have in my heart (of course in a better & hilarious way)!!!

“I see you have a pink ribbon on your page. (I did, it was in honor of my mother) This kind and considerate guy then continued on with the helpful advice that I should abondon my clothes so that I would never be so afflicted. He then not only invited me to be his friend but to join his club as well.

oh dear…i have been missing out on so much. cant think of any really really funny/weird invites..just the occasional corny one! This sounds like fun!! hmmm maybe if i dont get any, i should send out some 😉

Ok, so let me try my hands on this “invitation” thing. Ok! Instead of inviting for adding to friend’s list I just invite you to “read my comment”. 😛 Please don’t reject the invitation. See, you will find my comment interesting. I swear. If you don’t find it interesting,.. hmm.. leme think.. (no, I can’t eat a grasshopper 😀 ). Ok, I will tell you later. And that’s it. The comment is over.

Invites can be in different forms but most of them possess adjectives for motivating you to accept which will result to insincerity from their side. Just for the thought of being accepted is their most desired target. Funny!^_^

Kannan, hope your eyes are wide open enough now and you have gathered a couple of tips on sending invites that will help create a blog or two.
Glad to do my bit towards saving grasshoppers, yes, insect of the sub order of Caelifera in the order of Orthoptera, from extinction!!

Roopa, baiting them with your garden-bred locusts!! Now that sounds a great idea. Tell us about the outcome when it happens. Maybe you will get an invite from a frog and it will turn out that he was a Prince all along. 😛 😀 Well since you already have a Prince there is this small question of what you’d do with two on your hands. Hmmm….

>>>Some of them swear eternal love to you and life long friendship (oh give me a break!!) in their invites<>>I was not impressed by his blog page, he was willing to swallow a grasshopper, a live one at that! <<>>>On second thoughts I knew I had been wrong there!! Hmm… then I got it, how could I not have known!! She was impressed by the RSS feeds giving the latest news!! “<<< Now I am ROT CARPET L….my eyes are watering…oh…some one save me!!!!
Its good that I didnt wear mascara! this is HILARIOUS bold and underlined!

ur fingers dance really well i have to say.. an no i have no friend request or anything of the sort.. Just wanted to say that u are hilarious, maybe a lill worked up on the whole “working women” thing but otherwise very entertaining

Hey there Tito! Thanks for the compliment. And don’t worry too much about the ‘working women’ thing. Don’t you think its a topic I can hash and rehash and also bash to get some blogs out of it??!! Hehehe.. in fact most everything is to me and its all tongue in cheek!! Actually I am quite puzzled when people take it a bit literally!! I even bashed good old Bad Behavior!! Hmm… ‘good’ Bad Behavior?? What am I saying!!! :O

You’re so va-va-voom! And if you stay my friend, we will have groovy time. And you’re real smart and cool and neat and you wear pretty things. And you have nice things to eat in your refrigerator. You have great taste in all things beneath Heaven. Please stay my friend…..And we can chat all night long about celebrity divorces and other important world events! [tee, hee…ha, ha]

About this blog

When my fingers tap dance on the computer keyboard the results are either some tongue in cheek humor, a verse, a short story, a rant or sometimes mere rambling prose that goes nowhere in particular.... You'll find them all. So go ahead, take your pick and be bored to death!!

I believe

"Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self.” ~ Cyril Connolly

The why

“I write entirely to find out what I'm thinking, what I'm looking at, what I see and what it means. What I want and what I fear.” ~ Joan Didion