So after a lot of thinking and going back and forth me and my friend, finally came to the agreement of going to this years Retrospelsmässan. A type of Retro-game gathering in Gothenburg Sweden.

I’ve been looking forward to going for sometime, but since I hate and have trouble of traveling by myself I’ve never gone. So this is going to be a challenge, but I’m so glad
I have my good friend with me, it would not have been possible without him.
I have been feeling very down lately, perhaps the worst I’ve felt since 2010. But it feels somewhat better now. I have the best of friends who really care, thank you all. <3

Anyway the gathering is this upcoming Saturday 26/5. We will be there around 11.20 and while we can’t stay very long, at least we’ll get there! I’m looking forward to this, hopefully I’ll find something nice to buy. For once I have some spending cash.

I usually don’t post stuff anymore of what I’ve bought, but perhaps I’m going to start with that again. So here are some of the stuff I’ve bought since mid April.

God of War was fantastic! And one of the best games I’ve played this year and in fact the game that got me out of my gaming slump. I’ve felt like no other game really mattered after I finished Xenoblade Chronicles 2, so I’m glad to be back again. I had Dragon Quest Builders for the PS4, but wanted to play it on the go instead. And I wanted it on the Switch, because I’m going to buy Builders 2 for the Switch if it’s released in the west.

I’ve owned .Hack G.U Last Recode before but traded it away. Not it seems like it’s harder to get a hold of, so I snagged a copy again. Been wanting to try the Yakuza series and see what all the fuss is about. Just have to get some time to be able to play it too…

Since I was never a fan of the Wii U, I missed out of a couple of great games. And since I love my Switch so much, I was going to fix this little problem. The problem of missing certain games of course. So far it’s been fun and a bit frustrating, but it’s nice to play a Donkey Kong game again. I’m going to try and buy every Wii U game that is ported to Switch. So perhaps it’s time for Captain Toad next time.

I’ve been kind of tired of the design of the old site. So I’ve been wanting to remodel it for sometime now. Been working on this little by little.
I grew tired of the dark and orange colors, so now I have a few more lighter colors on the site. I like it a lot myself. The design for this is a bit inspired (ripped of) from the WordPress theme “Rowling”. But I’m not done yet I’m going to fix the search bar so it looks better. Hopefully going to fix the comment section. Get an overhaul on my Beaten and owned games. At least that’s what I’m hoping to be able to do.

But it will probably take a little while before anything of this happens. Or you know I just have to have a real boring time and I’ll probably do it in like a few hours. Haha.
But some of the changes besides the colors I’ve made are that some fonts are now bigger and easier to read. And again I think these colors are a bit easier to the eye, at least they follow a theme now. A theme that isn’t just dark.
Well hopefully I can add more of those little extra things in, I just want this to feel good!

In other news I’ve started playing the new God of War for the PlayStation 4 and it’s fantastic! I like it, I like it a lot. Actually it’s the first game I’ve played since Xenoblade Chronicles 2 that I really feel like playing, it broke me out of my gaming slump.
I’m a amazed that they took a character like Kratos, who more or less just was a raging bull and a bit of a boring character and made him interesting. Well I won’t speak more of the game, since I think you all should play the game and I won’t say to much because I haven’t finished the game myself.

I’m still debating if I should keep the site in English or Swedish or just make a few posts in the language I feel like for the moment.
I really don’t know what to do. I can reach out to more people in English and I might start to like doing some reviews again if I speak English. But some parts are easier in Swedish and I might want to do some videos in the future… But I don’t know in what language there either! Well as we say in Sweden this is a real “I-lands problem”.

We finally have confirmation of when Dragon Quest XI will be released in the west.
The release date is September 4 for PlayStation 4 and Steam.
So just a few months away! Great news, for me at least is that they will add voice acting. The Japanese original release didn’t have voices at all. It will feature some fixes and changes, you can see them a bit down on this post.

Here are some of the stuff they are adding and fixing to the game.

English Voiceover

Draconian Quest, a hard mode that offers additional challenges for more experienced players.

Camera Mode, allowing players to take in views of the beautiful landscape, character renders and ferocious monsters in detail.

A New Dash Function and many other system enhancements such as improved character and camera movement

They have confirmed that they will not release the 3DS version, but they will release the Nintendo Switch version in both Europe and America when it is released.
Much later. At least they’ve confirmed it’s coming, but we still don’t know if it will be an upgraded 3DS version or the same version released on PS4.

I’m just glad we finally have a date, even if it’s about five months away. At least now I have something to look forward to. Might even take a vacation day to enjoy it fully.

It’s that time again. Time to hate on myself and feel bad.
Well not only feel bad, I feel like I am all alone. But then again I always feel like that, that nobody really wants to be with me.
Like I’m a pain to be with, someone your ashamed to be with. Or rather someone you don’t want to be seen with. Like people are only friendly with me to be polite, the is no other reason. I have felt like this for the longest time and I can’t shake this feeling and its eating me up. And people don’t it isn’t so, is not going to make me feel better, because I will still feel like shit.
It is n times like these I don’t want to go out at all, I just want to hide away In my apartment and ignore the world. But at the same time I just want to get away.

And because of my overweight I hardly want to go out and do stuff, I’m afraid the people who are with me are disgusted with me and don’t really want to be seen with me. So I’ve cancelled a few planned trips with my friend because of this. I hate myself for not being or getting motivated enought to change my fucking life, when I get pumped and want to change my thoughts quickly charge to darker thoughts where I but myself down hard.
I can’t say how many times I’ve thought about cutting into my fat, “Just cut it off Micke. Then it will be fine. Cut of the disgusting fat.”
I don’t think anyone really understands how serious of a toll this is taking on me and like the fucking idiot I am, I just cover it with jokes and fake smiles. Smile and wave Micke, smile and wave. Everything’s okay. And then I do something stupid thatI really didn’t want to do, but did bebause of a fucking impulse I can’t control and after that I feel like people hate me more.

I wish my motivation was higher, but since I feel like I don’t have any support either I’m just wandering around aimlessly. I know the only one who can get this together is me, but it’s hard to change or get your shit together, when yo feel like what’s the point.
Thoughts and feelings like this take up about 70% of my daily life and I’m so sick of it. I’m tired of feeling left out, I’m tired of feeling like nobody wants to be with me.
I’m tired of myself, I’m tired of everything. A lot of whining I know.
Guess I’m at least good at that.
I feel like I’m the only one who gets hyped for things, at least let it show in my group of friends. I feel like I have no one to talk about the games I like or other stuff I like.
It’s more akward when I bring up stuff like that, at least that’s the impression I get.
So it just adds to my feelings of feeling left out. I dunno… I just feel alone. All the time.