Forum » Topic: Cowardly soldiers 'effectively invincible' say scientistshttp://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5143
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Oxbridge on "Cowardly soldiers 'effectively invincible' say scientists"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5143#post-14155
Wed, 26 May 2010 15:38:44 +0000Oxbridge14155@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>See also 'Soldier Killed in Afghanistan 'was a bit crap'' - great minds think alike.
</p>ED209 on "Cowardly soldiers 'effectively invincible' say scientists"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=5143#post-14147
Wed, 26 May 2010 14:39:57 +0000ED20914147@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Generations of Army recruitment guidelines are due to be scrapped after the discovery that only brave, well-liked and outstanding soldiers are killed in combat. </p>
<p>'We couldn't help noticing that the obituaries were always suspiciously favourable,' said Mark Wilson, the scientist behind the project. 'Further analysis showed that not once in 150 years has a soldier been buried who was a quivering coward, an unfit slob or a lazy, disorganised embarrassment to his regiment. We then realised we'd cracked it, and could make all soldiers invincible, by simply weeding out the ones who were any good.'</p>
<p>The Army are keen to cut casualties using the technique, and will now be recruiting only laid-off civil servants, who have demonstrated the necessary skills of incompetence to avoid an untimely death in combat.
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