Monday, August 26, 2013

The Onion Called Miley Cyrus's VMA Implosion — Back in 2008 [NSFW]

Oh, Miley Cyrus. You used to be such an adorable scamp, what with your Disney Channel sitcom/toy-selling vehicle, music and movie career.

But, as pretty much everyone with a computer has seen, Miley went wild at last night's MTV Video Music Awards, collaborating on stage with "Blurred Lines" singer Robin Thicke as both a performer and a prop for Miley Cyrus to grind upon — and yeah, treat this link as NSFW.

For those who aren't going to follow that link (not a bad decision, mind you) here's a preview of what you would've seen, in GIF form (editor's note: I put the rest behind the cut, so you have to make a conscious decision to expose your brain and soul to such things):

MTV

MTV

Why yes, those images do happen to show Miley Cyrus doing her best impressions of Michael Jordan and contestants in the Air Sex Championships (link NSFW, obviously), respectively.

And while South Park gets a lot of credit for supposing a reason behind pop stars crashing and burning in the episode "Britney's New Look", the Onion genuinely nailed their prediction for Miley Cyrus's entertainment nadir back in 2008, with this video warning of an impending pop star energy shortage, set to take place this year:

No word yet on whether or not Cyrus is the cause of her father, Billy Ray's achy-breaky heart — though one can't imagine she helped, given last night was his birthday. And on that note, happy belated 52nd, Billy Ray!