Simon Douglass is from Middlesbrough. He wrote one joke when he was twenty-two, sold it for some magic beans, and then moved to London.

Five years later he decided to perform the joke to some strangers in a comedy club. Two of them laughed and one blew something out of his nose involuntarily. A stand up comedian was born.

He wrote some more jokes but didn"t sell these to anyone; he went and told them up and down the country to audiences ranging from three Belgian women to 180 people desperately in need of a dentist.

In the world of Simon Douglass nothing much really happens. He takes this banality and enforces it on unwilling comedy punters.

Simon Douglass also has two first names, one of which is spelled incorrectly. He is also the only comedian in the UK to have never broken a mug.

In 1986 Simon Douglass fell into a small ravine and was picked up by an alien spacecraft. Seconds later he was dropped again but found himself in 2005. People think he"s copying Flight Of The Navigator, but he"s never seen it because it was made in 1987. Come see his amazing tales.