Read this before you buy the new iPad

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As I write this, Apple fans the world over are gathering outside their nearest Jobsian temple, hoping beyond all else to wrap their plaintive, probing fingers around a new iPad. The zealots, blinded by pixels, blinded by the backlights of a thousand iPads emanating from the plate glass windows of these places of worship, want nothing more than to fork over hundreds of hard-earnt dollars for a slice of the latest and greatest Designed by Apple in California pie.

If you’re one of these avid Apple fans, please hear me out.

Even if you’re not an Apple acolyte, take heed: Today you will feel a gravitational tug towards the center of the technology universe. Despite your best intentions to stay loyal to Microsoft, Linux, or Google, even the strongest of us will be tested today; even the most iron-willed will be drawn to the local Apple Store to discover the cause of this orgiastic desire for slabs of brushed aluminium and Gorilla Glass — and by then it will be too late.

Ready? Here we go.

The new iPad is the least innovative iDevice Apple has ever released.

Before you throw your iPhone 3, 3GS, and 4 at my face, let’s look at this objectively; let’s compare the iPad 2 and 3, and you’ll see what I mean.

The basic specs of the iPad 2 are as follows: 1024×768 display, 512MB of RAM, dual-core A5 SoC at 1GHz, and various modes of 2G and 3G cellular connectivity.

Now the iPad 3: 2048×1536 display, 1GB of RAM, dual-core A5X SoC at 1GHz (quad-core graphics), and various modes of 2G, 3G, and 4G LTE connectivity.

Both tablets are the same height and width, but the new iPad is both 10% heavier (660g vs. 600) and 10% fatter (9.4mm vs. 8.6). This extra space is entirely dedicated to larger batteries: The iPad 3 has 60% more battery capacity than the iPad 2 (42.5 watt-hours vs. 25). Despite packing in billions more lithium ions, the battery life of the new iPad is exactly the same as the last (10 hours on WiFi, 9 hours on 3G/4G).

In short, then, the new iPad is heavier, but has a larger display, more RAM, two more graphics cores, and 4G connectivity.

Now, no one’s dissing the screen, but as we’ve covered before, squeezing 2048×1536 pixels into a 9.7-inch display is not an earth-shattering innovation; it’s simply the continuing advance of LCD technology. It’s possible that Apple helped with capital investment, but most of the credit must surely go to the manufacturer, Samsung, which has made leaps and strides in display tech over the last few years.

Beyond the screen, the doubling of GPU cores (from PowerVR SGX543MP2 to SGX543MP4) is probably the most exciting change in the new iPad. In theory, these additional cores will help drive games that make use of the super-high-resolution Retina display — but in practice, according to preliminary benchmarks, the new iPad’s GPU is not twice as fast. In fact, it’s only 20% faster than its predecessor. The most likely reason for this is that there is probably a bottleneck between the CPU and GPU, or perhaps between the GPU and the RAM. It could also be that apps need be written to take full advantage of all four GPU cores, much in the same way that only a handful of apps make full use of Tegra 2 and 3.

Finally, the A5X has exactly the same dual-core Cortex-A9 CPU as the A5; it’s even clocked at the same speed (1GHz). It’s possible that Apple made the jump from Samsung’s 45nm process to TSMC’s 28nm, but it seems unlikely given that the 4G radio is still at 40nm and TSMC still hasn’t shown true bulk capacity on its 28nm nodes.

In conclusion, the new iPad is not some magic, modern-day marvel. The only real innovation in the iPad 3 is a larger battery cavity — but that doesn’t sound very sexy, does it? Apple can get away with it, though; in part because the Retina display really is that good, and because the iPad is still leaps and bounds ahead of the competition in terms of apps and usability.

When you inevitably unbox your new iPad, though, just remember that Apple has done little more than cram a bunch of bits inside a slick tablet chassis; bits that, except for the display, aren’t very exciting at all. This isn’t the original all-in-one iMac G3, the first unibody MacBook Pro, or the jawdropping first iPod — this is simply the iPad 2S, another safe bet that is designed to squeeze as much money as possible from pixel-blinded technophiles, just like the iPhone 4S.

Meanwhile, back in Cupertino, I’m sure Apple is working on a real successor to the iPad 2. It will have 28nm chips throughout, smaller batteries, and a svelte form factor to boot.

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