EXCLUSIVE: A Letter From Pluto

Posted on July 14 2015

As many of you have heard, NASA’s New Horizons mission just captured new images of Pluto, allowing us to better understand the galactic underdog. This mission has been 9 years in the works, starting just after Pluto lost its planetary status.

What NASA has yet to release is a statement about how Pluto feels about all this. Coming exclusively from YASA ( Yo Sox™ Aeronautics and Space Administration) Pluto has written a letter to none other than NASA to share with the people of earth:

Dear NASA,

It’s too late. Nine years ago you broke my heart when you dubbed me “too small” to be a planet. I wasn’t too small all those cold, starry nights when it was just you and I. But now that you’ve spent $900 million to get a closer look, you want me back. Well it’s not going to work. I’m a strong and independent space mass who doesn’t need you to make it feel validated. You even decided to bring the man who discovered me, Clyde Tombaugh, on the mission (okay fine…it was just his ashes), but no amount of flattery will win me over. You will never be able to use the mnemonic “My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas” to remember all the planets again! No pizza for you! And lastly, you will never, ever get to see me again! Well…at least for another 9 years until the next #PlutoFlyby. You can console yourself with some of the Yo Sox™ Galaxy Socks, at least THEY always believed in me