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We know that the humans wrestled, like us, and that their wrestling took many forms.

We know, also, that to distinguish themselves from the beasts of their world, the humans felt compelled to disguise their wrestling within the rudimentary political and social constructs of their era. For example, they did not use an energy ring, as we use: instead they built 'Houses of Parliament', arenas of stone, within which opposing choirs chanted ballads of hate to drive each other from sight.

We believe, also, that humans judged weak of mind were forced to compete in electrically-transmitted displays of debased social wrestling: human documents of the time describe these 'reality shows' in torturous and harrowing detail, and you may learn about them elsewhere.

Colleagues, I digress.

Historical records have taught us that - as late as the 24th century - the human heads of state settled conflicts by practising wrestling in its purest, physical form. They called this practice Sumo, as we do, and its mechanics were much the same as our own Sumo.

Their technology was primitive, of course. Documents teach that their 'energy field' was an imaginary one, and its effects were not fatal. Their ring was round and their contestants were square; for us it is - as it should be - the other way around.

But today, I ask you to consider that much of accepted Sumo history is still based on our ancestors' first interpretations of tomes found beneath the Cambridge University Library ruins - over 300 timeslices ago.

It is time, I propose, to consider an alternative scenario - a scenario for which I intend to present compelling evidence today. A scenario that, if made public knowledge, would confound even the quick wit of KosokuBot or the probing mind of SosakuBot.

For it is my earnest belief that, for the humans, Sumo was just a game.