Welcome, everybody to “On the Air With Patrick Lee in a Chair”, the only show where the host is guaranteed to be seated the whole time. Now, there are a lot of reasons I might want to sit down; but mostly because I’d rather not stand. My father always told me that standing was the poor man’s sitting, and Lord knows I’m not standing up for this. We’re going to be talking about fake news today, so naturally we had to go on a hunt for most the clickbait, hideous piece of “reporting” that we could find. Here’s the best one we found. (article appears on screen behind)Let’s just… let’s just take a second to break this article down. Why don’t we start with the headline. “Africans are poor because when it rains they think of sex instead of farming”... there’s a lot there… there’s a lot going on.This is fake, but I think that the worst part about it is that it sounds like something that Trump could really say three shots deep at a karaoke bar. (speaking as Donald Trump; slurring)Toto... I wanna hear Africa by Toto… (intro to Africa, by Toto plays)I’ve never felt any rain in Africa… when it does they probably don’t know what to do with themselves… they probably think “Why would I stay out here when I could go home and plow” (laughing at his own joke) You know that I mean? I’m so funny... those poor poor tiny little men… (trailing off; mumbling)(switching to normal speaking voice) Now, let’s take a look at the actual piece of writing. The article basically says that Trump hates all Africans because they’re dumb and lazy, and that the root of their problem is that they just can’t seem to focus on farming when it’s important. And according to a “direct”, sourceless, and grammatically flawed quote, Donald Trump thinks that “The best they (Africans) can do is gallivanting around streets, lamenting how they were colonised”. (pause)This fake news article sounds more eloquent than the person who invented the whole idea of fake news! If that’s not irony I don’t know what is. I don’t think that this website really has anyone convinced that Trump thinks all of these things… at least not out loud. But how do we know that this isn’t a real news article? I mean, it sure looks like something that could be published on MSNBC or something, right? This at least looks like it might be credible. Well right now, we’re viewing the article with AdBlock on. Why don’t we try and read it with AdBlock off. (removes AdBlock; obscene advertisements cover large portions of the screen) That’s more like it! Apologies to the web design students in the audience whose blood pressure is probably through the roof right now. These advertisements look like a random cut and paste job of the worst headlines you’d get if you dumped a supermarket tabloid bin into a shredder. For those of you in the back who might not get the privilege of reading all of these headlines, I’ll read off my favorite ones. “Zookeeper Threw a Ball to Lion. The Unexpected Happen”, “Best Charities” which is sponsored by “cheapdeals.com”, and my personal favorite: “A Man Became Pregnant and The Reason Why Is Incredible”. Now, these headlines are meant to be provocative, so that it can take you to another page with even more ads when you click on it. And clearly, they’d fill that box on the fake news checklist. But they’re also very clearly fake if you just take a closer look at them. This one over here, the ever specific “Last Photos Taken Seconds Before Tragedy Struck”, has a photo of a polar bear that’s supposed to be biting the head of this lady in the water over here, but it’s clearly just an edited photo if you look for even a second, this woman’s lady looks like she got clipped out of an Ironman race promo pic. If these photos aren’t ringing all the fake news bells in your head, then the lack of information definitely should. This article doesn’t cite any sources; the author didn’t put their name on it. Look, if the article you’re reading would get in F if a middle school student turned it in as an essay on current events, it probably isn’t true. And even if it was, do you really think that “Mzansi LIVE” (where this article is from), a website whose tagline is “Real Life Drama in Mzansi” would really be the only one with something to say about this? If Trump really said this in any context whatsoever, you’d have to be a pretty brain dead reporter not to cover it. My point is, if this sketchy website is really the only one that’s reporting on this story, you can probably count on it not being true. And even though they don’t support their information with credible sources, and don’t even corroborate something that any other news outlets are covering, they sure have a lot of ways to share the article. I count over a dozen buttons on this page that share this article on various social media platforms when you click them. It’s almost like… they get advertising revenue … every time someone opens the article… This is a pretty severe example, but fake news like this gets taken for fact all the time, every day. Do everybody a big favor, don’t believe this, don’t share it, and don’t turn off AdBlock. Thank you everybody, goodnight.

She was born precious and protected like a princessAnd the royal family’s love knew no bounds

He was more born struggling in a sea of sorrows,And with every year came a new wave of troubles

She grew up as a bumble beeIn a field filled with flowersEach pretty plant helping her growBut no matter how many were blown awayShe could always find more

He grew up as a puzzle pieceBut had a few extra tabsAnd not enough blanksSo no matter how hard he triedHe could never fit in

She had big dreams, giant dreams, planet-sized dreamsOnes where she would travel the globeExperiencing every experience even the experimental onesBecause she wanted regret to be just a fantasyAnd the wonderful wonders of the worldTo be no longer wonders but reality

While the only thing he wantedWas a lemonade standSo he could make a profit off his problemsBut that possibility was preposterousProbably because he could sadly never Sell more than his stock

Even though these two individuals were incomparableThey happened to cross paths one dayBut there was no love at first sightThey were no star-crossed lovers from some Shakespearean play

Instead it took over a yearFor it to become crystal clearThat they had something uniqueLike the way their palms were made to fit each other's

To her, he was a pair of jetpack bootsAllowing her to ascend new heightsUncharted highs that she never thoughtShe would ever be able to reachIf not for the help of him

To him, she was a magical wandMorphing him from a dull gray mothTo a vibrant butterflyThat extruded extrovert even if,At times it was unwanted

But jetpack boots can go much higher than a butterfly canSo just like their altitude, their love was one sided

Even still, throughout the monthsHe saw her as a starNot just because she was hot stuff or out of this worldBut because whenever he was led astrayHe could look up to her to find his waySince she would always be thereTo guide him through dark days

Yet the thing he wanted the mostWas to snatch that star from the skyNot to keep her light away from othersBut because his cold heartOnly felt warmth when next to hers

But since she laid in his handThe stars could never alignSo it was only a matter of timeUntil she fell through the cracks of his handSteadily, like hourglass sandDown to another man or a different land

He may never knowBut that didn’t matterThe important thing wasThat she was gone

Just another memoryJoining all the othersThat he had already forgotten

But unlike the rest, she had repercussionsShe was what the others associated him withAs if she was the glue that bonded all of his friendshipsAnd with her absence, he once again became nonexistent

Because she wasn’t just his starShe was his big bangShe’s what made him matter

And without herhe was the opposite of what she once wasA star

But collapsed on itselfDarkness denser than everA black hole

But black holes are pretty lonelyAnything that gets near gets absorbedEven light particles and sound waves

So it must be pretty quiet inside a black holeMaybe that’s the sweet silence I’ve been secretly seeking for

In my eyes, when I think of adventurous, it means physically taking action in a risky sport or an activity that threatens your life. Well, I know adventurous can be viewed as a mental battle, but I’ll give you an insight of how adventure fits into my life. There’s only so many stories to share about my adventure in my life, so here’s just one story dating back to my childhood, pretty far back. I opened the door and a pungent odor hit me; rubber. It was oddly nostalgic for such a chemical smell. Now, chattering started to fill my ears, unlike the silence of the registration lobby. Behind me, the door shut with a click as I tightened the buckles of my harness. I haven’t worn one of these since I was six. I looked forward, and there it was: the little corner, heavily matted with the largest of holds attached to the shortest of walls. Little children were climbing it like I had once before.All around me, I was surrounded by climbing walls, the artificial structures that mimicked the outdoor rock. Holds came in different colors and sizes, each labelled with a length of vibrant tape and numbers. Off to my left stood the largest picture windows, letting in the brightest of light. Tinkle-tinkle. Up above, a trainer to my right tapped the small metal bell that hung above him by neon red nylon. He released his grip on the wall and descended while pushing off with the soles of his feet. Well, now it’s my turn. My turn to train for adventure. I stepped forward and noticed my shoes. Oh, how I hated them. They looked like the most ugliest variation of ballet shoes except with rubber soles and velcro. Anyways, I walked toward a bench where chalk was supplied in stout cylindrical bags. I stuck my fingers in, and pulled out the cold fine chalk. When I rubbed my hands, they became white as paper. I positioned my hands side by side, leveled them to my face and blew. White particles began to float in the air creating fumes and blur my vision. I know, it was a bad idea. Now, to get onto training. I called over a staff to assist me as a belayer for my safety rope. She smiled and asked me if I’ve ever rock climbed outdoors. I responded no and it was my first to rock climb indoors since many years. Here in this part of the gym, there were no safety mats to land on or large holds to depend on. One day, I will take my climbing to the real mountains and show my inner adventurousness. Although I probably won’t climb real mountains (due to the disagreement of my parents), I can still express adventurousness without possibly giving myself a death wish. Through a different perspective of myself, I believe I can communicate adventure into the arts by taking risks to trying different styles that I’m not familiar with. I’ve noticed that everyone is adventurous in their own way and have to be in certain points of life. With that said, I encourage you to try something new.

Money, you’re my best friend, yet my worst enemySo I’m not alluding to the disney movie, when I call you my frenemySince the minute I was born I knew who you wereThe popular girl that all the guys preferThe star that I was always told to strive forBecause anyone without you was considered poorAnd 16 years later you are still my baeI know it sounds clicheBut I studied so hard with no playTo get those A’s so that one dayI could go to college and get a job with high payall in the hopes of obtaining youBut what causes you to be so—[f***ing]—specialWhat allows you to consume every single second of my lifeWhat makes you so important that I have to devote everything to getting you just so I can ask someone I love to be my wifeThey say you can’t buy happinessBut the fact that you have to is what causes sadnessBecause not everyone is born with a lot of youNot everyone can buy a house, a car, or a single shoeNot everyone can buy clothes or enough food to make a simple stewSo screw youMoney, you may be green but you make so many people blueBut even still, you are what the world looks up toEvery single day, more people pray that they can play with youAnd are then led astray by their own greedBecause they all seem to think that you are something they needAnd just because you’re addictive and green like weedDoes not mean you should dictate when we succeedIt’s mind blowing how much you’ve brainwashed societyHow you’ve stripped away our individuality and left us with you as our only priorityhow you’ve taken down the gods from their pedestalsAnd made people only faithful to the digits and the decimalsI do not understandAnd because I can not comprehendYour power I am slowly becoming your toolI only have two years left of schoolBut after that there are many more to goBecause I have to go to college to get a high cash flowAnd even though I may start my major in computer science I’ll probably move it to lawBecause the thirst for you is everyone’s biggest flawYou are supposed to make the world go round so why,Why do I have to trade my dreams for a decent salaryWhy do I have to live every single second as a fake meWhy do I have to strive for something that I don’t want to beIs it just, so that when I grow up you are what I see?This concept of getting to the point where I can make it rain is something that I hateBecause if I only put my effort into the things that I loveThen how am I ever supposed to precipitate Money, I am forced to have you as my best friendBut you will always be my most despised enemy