Do You Have Sexual Anorexia?

Since the moment Tiger Woods slammed his SUV into a tree, we've been hearing a lot about sex addiction. What's less talked about, but may be just as common, is "sexual anorexia," which is the compulsive avoidance of sex and sex-related situations.

Does this mean if we're occasionally not "in the mood" (we've all been there) that we might have deeper issues with intimacy? To find out, we spoke to Certified Sex Therapist Alexandra Katehakis, clinical director of The Center for Healthy Sex.

Also called sexual “acting in,” sexual anorexia is characterized by severe anxiety and fear of sexual contact and the obsessive avoidance of sex, according to Katehakis. This can make the sexual anorexic feel powerful and protected from harm.

A related — and even more common — issue is avoiding intimacy, says Katehakis. “All people need love and nurturance,” she says. “People with sexual anorexia and other intimacy issues long for affection, but they have learned through traumas that they are undeserving of love and that others cannot be trusted.”

“Trauma is generally at the root of any fear of intimacy,” says Katehakis. “This could be an obvious trauma, such as sexual abuse, or trauma of a negligent parent. Infants and children need consistent attention and love from their caregivers, and the absence of these can be just as damaging as abuse. Neglect, especially in the first months and years of life, can set the stage for a lifetime of intimacy problems.”

If you think you might have sexual anorexia or a fear of intimacy, the first step is to seek treatment from a qualified therapist or mental health professional.

“Reaching out can be very difficult for someone who has been unable to depend on others, but it is essential to recovery,” says Katehakis. “Good, consistent couples therapy can improve communication, increase interpersonal skills and promote healthy, intimate sexuality.”