Look, this story pretty much explains itself, so let me use the preamble to the usual block quote to ask the media something: How hard would it have been to figure out which card the guy decided to flash steel over? I mean, it’s the ONE thing I want to know after reading this:

Recently, a suspended Washington postal worker was taken into custody
after a dispute with a convenience store clerk over a baseball card
turned ugly after the clerk refused to immediately return the card. The
59-year old man returned to the convenience store with a 3-foot sword
threatening to the employee.

The man then returned to his home a few block away, several minutes
after returning, the Washington police sent a SWAT team to the baseball
carnoisseur’s layer. The man surrendered his sword after the SWAT team
bombarded his castle with Tear Gas.

Well, I’d also like to know (a) if this really was a castle; and (b) what the heck a “carnoisseur” is, but let’s leave that lone for the moment.

My guess: the guy pulled the sword over a 1989 Fleer Larry Sheets. Because those are the rarest of the rare. Out in public, I mean. They’d have to be, because I’m pretty sure I have the entire run of them in my basement. If the water main breaks, the Larry Sheets cards will be able to soak it up for a month.

I see contest opportunities here, Craig. Whoever is the first to correctly guess the player on the card in question (use year as a tiebreaker), gets some ridiculously valuable prize. Like, say, a ticket stub from Dallas Braden’s perfecto (I hear you can still get them pretty cheap). Whaddy think, Shyster?

Maybe it was Larry, a friend or a relative. Some players are protective of their own cards. This is why it is tough to pull a Manny card out of a pack. Wouldn’t that auto on the card actually decrease its value with that ink and all? I know they have this featured in the the 1959 or 1960(?) Heritage series. All of the auto’s are written on the card. To capture the flavor of the times.
But wouldn’t it earn a lower grade because of the acidity from the red sharpie? It would seem the man with the sword was part of an operation larger than himself. Maybe the sword was a gift from Toledo, Spain. Those $9 dull decorations in the metal shops. Those are cool.