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Blood on the Dance Floor?

I have a 12 yo dd who went shopping with some friends and bought a new hoodie with "Blood on the Dance Floor" on it. I didn't think much of it and was happy to see that she got to have some independence and make a purchase of something she likes. A couple of weeks later, I noticed in one of her school notebooks that she had written lyrics from this band. Whoa, yep, call me a prude, whatever, but it was nasty, vulgar and very violent. Wondering if anyone here has any comments.

I checked out quite a lot of them last night and while some were not as bad as others, the majority were horrific. Can I ensure my 14 year old doesn't listen to them outside of the house? No, of course not. But I damn well have the right not to have it played in my house. Thankfully, his taste in music is not so extreme.

Quoting KeriAZ:

Maybe u people need to check out the other lyrics. Not all are like that. Some need to not get bent out of shape. Lets see.. Remember Twisted Sister going to the congress abt their lyrics or Marilyn Manson?

I have never heard of that band before. I have to look them up. You are not the only parent that doesn't keep up with lastest craze. It's funny because a rap song may come on on the radio and my daughters say "Momma you never heard of that song" and I reply no and they say I'm old. My 31 year old brother has more in common with them when it comes to music but they do like R&B and oldies just like I do. These days there are words or saying that appears on clothing and the next thing you know the school has banned that clothing or expelled from school. As a parent I think that we need to do more research.

Wellp I guess to each his own. I like em and my DD listens to them as well.

Quoting disneymom2two:

I checked out quite a lot of them last night and while some were not as bad as others, the majority were horrific. Can I ensure my 14 year old doesn't listen to them outside of the house? No, of course not. But I damn well have the right not to have it played in my house. Thankfully, his taste in music is not so extreme.

Quoting KeriAZ:

Maybe u people need to check out the other lyrics. Not all are like that. Some need to not get bent out of shape. Lets see.. Remember Twisted Sister going to the congress abt their lyrics or Marilyn Manson?

Just a couple of suggestions for you about the shutting down. I learned so much raising my teens! Maybe you can benefit from what they taught me.

My oldest dd once told me that if I wanted her to come to me with the big things, I had to be riveted by the little things. Sometimes when they tell you junior high or high school drama, it's seems so ridiculous, it is tempting to brush it off. But this is vital to them. It's life. So when I felt that urge, it became my cue to tune in big time. My dd's also taught me that they don't want me to solve problems or tell them what they should do. Most times, they want to commiserate. So if they said, Uggghhh, this teacher or peer or boy is out of line. This happened or that happened. My first thing to say is something like, oh man, I remember what it was like dealing with boys like that. It can really make you crazy! How frustrating. If I had a suggestion or some advice, I would ask, do you want a suggestion or do you just want a listening ear. They would tell me which they wanted, and I respected their requests.

The other thing I learned is that if you sit down and try to get them to talk, they tell you nothing. But if you take them to run errands, take them on a drive, do things with them (hiking, batting cages, mini golf, shopping, pedicures, beach, college tours (never too early to start), lake, lunch and a movie, picnic, etc...), and you just make an effort to truly enjoy their company and appreciate things about them, they magically start to tell you stuff. At first it's not a lot. And they test you to see what you can handle. But if you pass the test, they tell you more and more. And pretty soon, they're coming in and sitting down and telling you things you didn't ask about.

Tweens and teens are famous for being non-communicative with parents. But you can have a great relationship if you find a way to enjoy their company and put in the time and effort.

Quoting wondergirl:

Thanks for all the feedback! It is beyond shocking that she would want to listen to this! I am not sure how she even heard about it, unless it was from someone else. VERY unfortunately, these songs are available to be seen on youtube all the time. There is no way to effectively censor the music that goes on you tube that I have found. My dd is at a very tender age, as one pp said, she is definitely trying to find her way and her identity, etc. I don't really know how much of it she even understands. Unfortunately though, she is not too willing to talk to me about anything of any substance right now, I mean she really shuts down. I am going to try to take her to a counselor later this week because of some concerns (not related to the songs) to see if she can get a dialogue with someone.

A good half of their songs are disgusting, like Sexting, Candyland, Scream for my Ice Cream, you get the idea. On the other hand, the other half of their songs are very sweet and good, like The Right to Love, You are the Heart, Believe, Bewitched, and Frankenstein+The Bride. Honestly, if you see videos of fans meeting the two guys who make up this alternative/electronica band, they are honestly THE sweetest people ever. If you go to a concert it's like a family because they get a lot of hate, but the fans that show up are all really nice and the worst thing that might happen is somebody throwing their bra onstage.

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