BLEACHERS BREW EST. MAY 2006

Someone asked me how my blog and newspaper column came to be titled "Bleachers Brew". It's like this, it's an amalgam of sorts of two things: The bleachers area in the stadium/arena where I used to sit when I would watch baseball, football, and basketball games and Miles Davis' great jazz album Bitches Brew. That's how it got culled together. I originally planned on calling it "The View from the Big Chair" that is a nod to Tears For Fear's second album, Songs from the Big Chair. So there.

Friday, September 30, 2016

Following
last year’s successful dinners (we had two) with the moms of the Ateneo Blue
Eagles, Ateneans and basketball fans and observers got a different point of
view of life beyond the game of basketball. It was revealing and touching.

This
year, we decided to do one right before the Ateneo-La Salle game. We all met up
at Sarsa, UP Town Center last Monday night (September 26).

Attendance:

Bing Babilonia, mom of GBoy

Therese
Verano, mom of Raffy

Ren
Ildefonso, mom of Shaun

Tess
Escaler, mom of Jaime

Carol
Go, mom of Isaac

Bambi
Mendoza, mom of Jolo

Karo Asistio, mom of Anton

Rick:
So Carol and Bing are the veterans left along with Mozzy Ravena who is unavailable. I know of their situations with their sons so now,
let’s hear it for the newbies.

You
know that it is tough being a student-athlete. How do you deal with your son?
Talking to him about juggling both studies and sports; dealing with
disappointment and adversity?

Ren:
Dati talaga struggle. Moving to Ateneo alam namin na studies first before sports.
Hati kami ni Danny sa duties with Shaun and Dave (the younger brother who plays
for the Blue Eaglets). Siya sa basketball. He talks to him about the game kung
ano yung kailangan approach, ano yung diskarte, ano yung mali at iba pa. For my
part as the mom, ako sa life, his well-being… to balance things. Kumustahin sa
maraming bagay – studies, his eating habits, sleeping habits, the usual Gawain ng
mommy. If I talk to him about basketball things, I just remind him, focus on
your role. Shaun is overwhelmed to be on the team. Blessing na yun kasama siya
sa team. We didn’t expect that at all.

Rick:
Interesting situation for your boys. Especially Mike. MVP na nabangko. And now
starter. How do you work with the twins?

Girlie:
Si Mike kasi, hindi lang first time nangyari yung na-cut siya or nabangko siya.
When he tried out for the SBP team in grade school, he got cut. Ang mga pumasa
sa cut si Matt, Aaron Black, Enzo Joson. Comedy nga nun, he (Mike) was the MVP
of the FBL (Futures Basketball League) when he was in Grade 2. Then when he was
in Grade 3, in spite of that, he was cut.

We
were supposed to be withdraw Matt at that time para magsabay sila the next year.
I felt, “kawawa naman si Mike” but he said, “No mommy, Matt deserves to be
there. I am willing to wait.”

But
the hardest part was trying to explain to him certain things. He would ask, “Mom
bakit sila naglalaro ako hindi?” How do I explain that?

After
his senior year sa SBP – Mike was named MVP!

Akala
namin okay na; tuloy tuloy na. But in high school, Matt was lined up in his
rookie year while Mike was made to wait. But one player had issues with his
grades so Mike got a spot on the team and was at the end of the bench.

Si
Matt first five, si Mike struggle ulit. But when he got to his fourth year, he
was team captain and MVP.

Bambi:
Si Jolo we tell him not to expect too much because he is a rookie. Even our
relatives na sobrang excited, we tell them not to raise their expectations. But
we are thankful that he is given playing time kahit konti.

Rick:
Given Jolo’s performance in high school and his dad was a former player (for
UP), how do you deal with the pressure?

Bambi:
Pressure? Mas na feel ko pressure last year with the Eaglets. Coming from a
champion team the pressure was bigger because he had to carry the team na
naubos yung veterans. Nahirapan si Jolo more so because he also got injured. So
he will not sulk, we talked to him to rally his teammates sa Eaglets. And
leadership is crucial.

Bambi:
Siguro with Jolo, since he has been in Ateneo since prep, alam niya na that if
his grades aren’t good he cannot play. So he understands his priorities.

Rick:
O, Tess. Si Jaime naman.

Tess:
I think it’s very exciting for him to be named to the team. It is unexpected
and we feel it is a blessing. And we’re proud of him. Dream niya rin yun to
play for the Blue Eagles. I trust the process.

Jamie
has always been independent. He’s aware of cause and effect. And he knows. We
don’t push him but we don’t leave him alone. He is on top of situations.

Rick:
Your turn, Therese.

Therese:
Almost from the time he arrived here, Raffy said, “Mom, I love it in Ateneo.” I
asked him to clarify, “Raffy, love or like?”

“Mom,
I love it.” Technically he is a Fil-Am but he doesn’t feel that way where he
will only hang out with the Fil-Ams. He can hang out with everyone and we feel
that is good. It means he can mix with everyone.

A
lot of Mike’s (Raffy’s dad who went to La Salle and then UP) batchmates say, “Why
Ateneo?” He says it is Raffy’s choice. We do not want to force our children
into something they will not like. We make them aware of all the details, we do
our research then make the decision based on that. With Ateneo, it was Raffy’s
decision. Honestly, we weren’t really sure how Raffy would react upon arrival here
but he is happy.

There’s
an adjustment though – speaking Tagalog. During the diagnostic test, Raffy
said, “Mom I had this test in Tagalog and I think I bombed it. And then in class,
they were all speaking in Tagalog. I don’t understand anything so after class,
I spoke with the professor. She said, “You did well in your diagnostic test.”
Raffy said, “To tell you the truth, I guessed it well.”

(laughter)

So
I think teaching him to communicate well will help and he does.

We’re
glad he communicates. He’s like an old soul. Maturity wise he tends to give.
Akala mo, wala lang but he’s deep.

Rick: Karo?

Karo: When Anton entered his first year, he was given a scholarship but he
had to try out for the team. It was okay naman. When he made Team A, we thought
hindi na siya maalis. Hindi pala ganun. He’s been trying out every year. Nung
third year biglang nababa siya sa Team B.

Last
year it was really painful. Hindi na nga nakalaro, binababa pa. What do you
tell him as a parent? (pauses)

But
you have to be positive. More than simply being positive, you have to find ways
to keep him motivated and his spirits high. If you tell him all these negative
things it will break him.

Like
during the summer… they had a game on his birthday (the Filoil Flying V Premier
Cup) and hindi siya ginamit. He felt really really bad. After that, he seemed
to consider not playing basketball anymore to concentrate on finishing his
studies and then get a job. He was so bothered that his basketball wasn’t going
anywhere. He spent a long time working on his game and nothing was going right.

Rick:
I have kuwento about that.

Karo: You do?

Rick:
After that game I was sitting on the steps near the players’ entrance of the
San Juan arena and Anton came over. He said, “Tito, I don’t know what to do
anymore.” He was in near tears.

I
said, “Anton, I know it’s tough but look at it this way, maybe the coaches are
looking for something more. If you are playing at this level (me raising my
hand to indicate a level), why not raise it higher? That way you will get
noticed. He nodded and agreed. In the very next game, Anton was player of the
game.

Karo (in tears): Oh, thank you talaga.

Bing:
Si Rick kasi talks to the boys.

Rick: I do. But not all the time. From time to time. I pick my spots. I don’t want them to
think I am this nosy alumnus na pinakekelaman sila.

Karo: I don’t think so naman.

Rick:
Thanks. But this isn’t about me. It’s just providing the support system with a
different point of view. Okay, we move on to the next topic…. Social media and
handling criticism. How do you guide your kids about this? Do you also engage
in social media? Do you track them? Spy on them? Reverse order tayo… Carol?

(laughter)

Karo: Anton is not active on Facebook only on Twitter. Does he have bashers?
Meron ba? I don’t care. But I do tell Anton to be responsible with what he
posts from his opinions to pictures.

Bambi:
Jolo has his social media accounts. I have too but asawa ko wala. Nakikisingit siya
sa mga sinasabi about Jolo. One time, after a game we were in Starbucks. Si
Jiggs was reading comments about Jolo na kesyo he should have been this and
should have been that. And he was reading it aloud. Sabi ni Jolo, “Pa, wag mon
a basahin yan. Ako nga hindi ko binabasa. Baka maka-epekto pa sa next game.”

So
we also learn from our son.

(laughter)

Tess:
My son is on the phone all the time! Like everyone else, we caution Jaime to be
responsible. We explain things and then give him space. Like I said earlier, he
understands naman. My boy is responsible so that helps.

Therese:
I have all of the above – Facebook, Twitter etc. Raffy only had his Twitter
account. He had his Facebook account before but he made a resolution to stop
social media. He only revived it when he got here. Now it is used as a vehicle
for the family to be updated. Especially since they are in the US.

As
for my social media, I follow him and he follows me. Raffy has always had this
mantra, you have to think twice of what you post. It was a learning experience.
Painful but well learned. One time, Pepperdine made an offer of a scholarship to a friend of his (someone who was ahead) but retracted because of something that he posted on social media. It haunted Raffy.

Rick:
This is more or less a young team. Correct me if I am wrong but they seem to
get along with one other real fine. Let’s start with the veteran moms.

Bing:
GBoy, not only because he is team captain is someone who gets along with
everyone. He is sensitive also to others. While he might be older than the
younger ones, he does get along with everyone. I know that some of them carpool
since we live in the same area. He also told me that he enjoys the company of
the Nietos so sometimes he’s at their house.

Girlie
(interjecting): Gusto niya luto ko.

(laughter)

Rick:
Puwede ba makikain?

(even
more laughter)

Girlie:
Ikaw pa! Puwedeng puwede.

Bing:
There is no conflict on the team. Everyone gets along with one another. Others
might have not been teammates in Ateneo in the grade school or high school but
they were teammates on youth teams or on Team B.

Rick:
Carol, your turn.

Carol: Isaac is really a private person. After practice or games he will go home right
away. It isn’t that he doesn’t like the company of others but he is very very
serious with his studies. It might sound boring but that is how he is. He will
attend if attendance is mandatory.

(laughter)

Bambi:
Many of them were teammates since they were in Grade School – the Nietos,
Aaron, Thirdy, Jaimie, even Shaun. That helps.

Rick:
I have seen Aaron, Adrian (Wong), and Raffy hang out in the Cubao area after
games.

Therese:
Yes, they have become all friends.

Rick:
How about (Chibueze) Ikeh? He does he get along with everyone?

Girlie:
Okay naman. He does. He is a quiet boy naman. Matt and Ikeh had lunch the other
day and they were talking about the upcoming games against UP and La Salle.
Nagbibigayan sila ng encouragement sa isa’t isa. Lalo na with Ikeh, he needs
it.

Rick:
Speaking of Ikeh needing it, La Salle on Sunday….

(collective
oohss)

Girlie:
We have this rule, on Game Day, si Jet lang ang kakausap sa mga boys.

Ren:
Same with Danny.

Bambi
nods in agreement.

Tess:
We have UP first though.

Rick:
Of course, we aren’t looking past them. Not gonna be an easy game against them
though.

Carol: It might be a little awkward playing against Coach Bo (Perasol) but our
coaches will prepare them well for that.

Rick:
Do you as parents ever talk about this rivalry and the bigness of the game?

Bing:
No, every game is the same treatment kahit undefeated yung kalaban or may talo na.
Same approach. It has to be that way.

Karo: We know it’s a big game and maybe it is La Salle’s year but we have to
play the game.

Bing:
You know, everyone says that La Salle will win it and they are very good. But
there is the saying too that bilog ang bola. They boys just need to play hard
and believe they can do it.

Bambi:
Naku, Rick, maybe you should sit down with the dads… they will have a different
perspective lalo na many of them are former players as well.

Rick:
Sige, I will try. Last year ayaw nila. Okay na raw that the moms spoke out. But
we’ll see. Maybe after the Ateneo-La Salle match.