Imagine a sitcom called “That’s My Lebovitz.” It takes place in Paris at the chateau of an emigre American pastry chef who loves to shake his rolling pin at old French women and humor the visiting American nebbish (played by me) who insists on learning things about Paris and baking and taking pictures of his food. Each episode begins with the pastry chef trying a new recipe and at the end, when the nebbish learns a valuable lesson, the nebbish declares in a sing-songy voice: “That’s my Lebovitz!”

This week’s episode–“Toffee Trouble!”–begins when the nebbish rings the doorbell.

Lebovitz: Go away! I’m making toffee butternut crunch! Look at this picture from my website, it’s going to be delicious.

Adam: Lebovitz, you crank, let me in. I have a class tomorrow with a teacher allergic to gluten!

Lebovitz: So switch classes.

Adam: I can’t switch classes. It’s my masters thesis class.

Lebovitz: Then switch teachers.

Adam: Lebovitz, that’s impossible. I’m breaking down the door.

[Adam breaks down the door. Lebovitz is wearing a feather boa and a tiara.]

Lebovitz: Damn you, look what you’ve done. I have a photo shoot in an hour. Is my tiara on straight?