It has to be cold water, and you have to attend to it ASAP - heat sets the stain and I have a theory (with no proof to back me up) that if you continue to wear them after the "incident" your body heat sets it and makes it harder to remove.

Any liquid detergent. The key is rubbing detergent into the stain on both sides, then soaking for at least 24 hours in more detergent and cold water, then giving it a good scrub by hand, then putting it in the machine! And I don't think there's any age at which all this becomes easier, unfortunately!

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