This 4 BR and 2.5 BA townhome is convenient to shopping, park and 880. Lots of light in this two story end unit with patio. DP windows. Needs TLC. Finance incentives – Call Nationstar Mortgage 877.825.2432. Open house 10/12 & 10/14 11- 4. Offers to homesearch.com auction 10/18-24th.

Oh oh. View is usually “Neighborhood” unless it’s something awesome such as “Golden Gate Bridge” or “Mountains” or “Skyline.” What do you think an “Other” view is? Is this house appearing on Point/Counterpoint?

Then again, with real estate photography this poignant, this house is more likely to show up on some Reality (not Realty) show such as Real Housewives of Fremont.

And since when is $385K under Redfin’s minimum commission?

Alas, the reserve for the auction was not met. But check out the page for more awesome photos like these.

August 15, 2013

We have been spending FAR too much time in Silicon Valley. Let’s take a look at a property far away from Google in the far-flung San Jose exurbs. Or would that be Mountain View exurbs, given our comments about San Jose yesterday? This one’s a good fifty miles from Downtown SanHo, so it definitely is a long enough commute to be beyond a mere suburb. And like most exurban homes, it’s bigger than the usual Monta Loma Eichloid. Whoops, Pending, even in the exurbs!

Panoramic ocean views are just the beginning in this exceptional Spanish Mediterranean home on a premier 17th Ave block. With a flowing open floor plan, 3 bedrooms, 3 baths, wood burning fireplace, and hardwood floors throughout, there is everything needed for gracious living. Enjoy the views from enclosed sun porches and dine casually in the eat-in kitchen.

You’re going to have to enjoy views from the enclosed sun porches because this house doesn’t have a lot size. Oh, wait, the public records say it’s 3,000 square feet.

You’re welcome. Here’s a typical example of the spectacular sunshine you’ll enjoy on the sunporches when you’re 50 miles from San Jose.

Now let’s hear from amer_icongrl.

17th Ave is the new "Inner Sunset"

I gasped when I saw the location of the stackable washer & dryer. Also, an overpriced home in SF is no surprise, but typically for 1mil + they put some effort into staging the place (or at the very least, put the toilet seat down).

I just love the "why bother? they’ll come with cash and overbids anyway" attitude!

It’s pending, right?

Wait, did you say open toilet? You are talking some serious Burbed win, here. We’d been doing such a good job educating realtards on basic Dos and Don’ts, (Do include more than one photo, Don’t shoot until you’ve cleaned up the room, that sort of thing) that it’s been ages since we’ve seen a toilet salute.

August 14, 2013

Sure, Park Avenue is a destination address in The Big Apple. Today’s house, however, is located in a different Big City, namely Wait, That’s A Top Ten City? or as it’s also known, Bigger Than San Francisco? RU SRS? Being serious, can you name one major company headquartered in San Jose? Neither can we, and we already mentioned a big one named Apple that’s over in Cupertino. Okay, Adobe, but that’s ONE. There probably aren’t any more.

Meanwhile, we’ve got a Park Avenue property from Burbed reader Swan for you today. Hope you enjoy it as much as we did. (That is if by “enjoy” we really meant “avoid.”)

Single family home with additional rooms attached to garage. Showing by appointmnet only.

Here’s Swan’s song:

Saving the best for last, I give you 1083 Park Ave., San Jose. This listing is full of Burbed Win! First, five beautiful, out of focus pictures of the front of the house.

Second, there are some fuzzy photos of the interior. These pictures start off showing what seems to be pretty decent living and dining areas. Is that a glass of beer on the dining table? If so, it goes with the beer ad on the TV!

The kitchen, other than the post near the refrigerator, isn’t bad either. In pictures #12 and #13 we are given a slow introduction as to what is to come. Have you ever watched "Hoarders?" Well, pictures 14 and 15 could be right out of an episode!

Before you call the cleanup crew, look at pictures 16 and 17. Apparently only the storage area is a mess because the bathroom and laundry area aren’t too bad. Notice the toilet seat is up in the bathroom! Also, does the random arm in #17 count as a Dude Hanging Out?

We aren’t done yet! Check out Streetview for a bunus!! Porta-potty next door!

That’s an even better bunus than a trash bin! Plus… Holy Jughandle, Batman, is that a sound wall? No! It isn’t!

Wow, this is exciting! Whatever are they building next door? A liquor store? An adult movie emporium? So many exciting possibilities for making new friends!

August 6, 2013

Let’s now return to what makes Burbed the destination real estate site for the entire Bay Area. No, we’re not referring to our excellent Bay Area Bubble 4.0 coverage or our extensive featured looks at half million dollar crapboxes. Today’s entry is what makes the Real Bay Area so very Special: Listings at WTF prices and WTF problems. Thanks very much to Burbed reader Swan for sending in today’s Los Gatos Gotcha.

Excellent Candidate For Remodel or Build Dream Home. Sweeping Views From Most Rooms. Upstairs 3BD/2BA/KIT/DR/LR/UTIL. RM. Downstairs Game Room w/ Slider, Office W/ Bath & Large Storage Room. Lots Of Storage, Cabinets and Closets Everywhere. 1.5 Miles From Los Gatos. WATER WILL BE TURNED OFF. DO NOT USE TOILETS. Seller Wants NO CHILDREN in property. .FOR SAFETY REASONS. SELLER PREFERS "AS IS SALE".

Let’s have Swan float in here.

[Today’s home] is in the same area as the Kennedy home [submitted last week]. This house is on Blackberry Hill Road: . You know it’s Burbed material when then listing starts with, "Excellent candidate for remodel." In this case, the listing gets even better! "WATER WILL BE TURNED OFF. DO NOT USE TOILETS. Seller Wants NO CHILDREN in property. .FOR SAFETY REASONS." There is an open house this weekend. I so want to go with a full bladder and a few small children who can run wild while I try to use the bathroom! Be sure to check out the pictures of the lovely wallpaper in the kitchen and master bath!

That is quite something, although our gaping is for the photo above it of the grounds. It looks like it was taken in 1972 and left in a shoebox so the dyes would age properly. And it makes the kitchen treatment look almost contemporary. Oh wait, we meant contemptuous. Using that white tile isn’t fooling anyone; that kitchen was remodeled in 1987 whether it needed it or not!

June 14, 2013

We love featuring all kinds of Bay Area Real Estate win: the bad listing photos, the atrocious listing copy, the ridiculous pricing, the uncorrectable defects better known as location fail, the horrendous décor choices, or any other example of Realty WTF that our readers send us.

Today’s entry will start your weekend off well. While Game of Thrones just finished its third season on HBO, you can play the game on the Peninsula! Thanks very much to Burbed reader waiting_for_the_fall for this fantastic installment!

Complete fixer in great Daly City neighborhood. City approved remodel plans in place to create legal 3 bedroom 2 bath. Large corner lot close to transportation and shopping. Detached garage and private, low maintenance yard. Lots of sweat equity in this home ready for the handy buyer!

First let’s have a good look around, especially that low maintenance yard.

What does waiting_for_the_fall have to say about this charming cottage?

I got another one for you. This one is a real stinker.

Check out the steps up to both toilets. I’ve heard of toilets called thrones before, but this is taking it a bit too far. The listing history is like a roller coster. How can anyone think this crapshack (with toilet thrones!) is worth 489k?!?

If anyone buys this house at the listed price, they are mentally insane.

If everyone is high on bubbly, that’s not mental insanity. That’s a day in the Bay Area that ends with “-y”! Y for Yes We Are!

May 9, 2013

Let’s continue looking at some homes untouched by Bay Area Bubble 4.0 fever! Thanks very much to Burbed reader dollarbin for this fantastic find: over 200 days on the market and wait until you see the price history! Amazing!

Come and see this custom built Eichler in Oakland. You will own the house that everyone talks about. This house is an architectural masterpiece and the additional master bed and bath make it incredible. This is the only Eichler in this part of Oakland. Open House April 6th, 10 AM- 12PM.

Here’s what dollarbin thought of the place:

I’ve been sitting on this one for quite some time and it’s finally pending but as a short sale, I bet it will have a long luxurious escrow. Check out the listing price history, more ups and downs than a whack-a-mole game. Bring on the Eichler lovers!

There’s so much to salute about this property, it’s hard to figure out where to start the rollout. How about we take a look at all the attractive price points it has offered in search of the One True Buyer.

No wonder it’s selling shortly! Don’t miss the Open House, either! Um, whoops. Hey, this is the only Eichler in this part of Oakland!

April 25, 2013

Today’s featured Villa is brought to you by the letter V. Yes, the danged Blogging from A to Z Challenge has not been Vanquished yet. Verily, we have a Vague suspicion that some are Vexed that we’re skipping over the Rodney Dangerfield of the Bay Area, Vallejo. We feel Vallejo’s been Vanquished and another Village needs the Vital exposure this site gives to Bay Area real estate.

Translation: Vacaville, on Burbed for the Very first time, show us your Virtues! We could mention the Very name means, literally, “cow town.” At least Vallejo was named after a Victorious general.

February 21, 2013

Yes, you heard right, today we have an actual house for sale for less than $300 big ones. That means you have no more excuses for not becoming a homedebtor. Thanks very much to Burbed reader holyzoo for passing along this palace in Pacifica!

This is a total fixer upper. The house needs everything! Swimming pool full of rancid water. Considered uninhabitable . Sewer lateral needs to be replaced. This is a contractor special. The house needs all new systems and total restoration. Large termite report calls for further inspections. Holes in walls. Wood floors ruined.

Did you hear that? This house has EVERYTHING! Let’s check in with the zed.

Yeah, I know it’s totally not RBA, but how often do you actually see a listing for under $300k?

I think we’ll be heading to the open house just to feel thankful we don’t have cancer or gangrene.

Speaking of the open house, let’s see how open the walls are.

Wait a minute, wait a minute… Remember when we last saw floors like this? Sure you do.

Now, we are definitely not saying that this house could have allegedly been a hypothetical meth lab. And we are definitely not saying that this house could have been used for any non-normal innocent suburban purposes whatsoever OH PLEASE DON’T SUE US PLEASE DON’T THROW US INTO THAT BRIAR PATCH JACKPOT JURY PROCESS.

But we are saying that it’s a good thing the nearest fire station is, we swear we are not making this up, only 88 yards from this house.

Have a look at some more pictures, including one that is very definitely NSFW, after the break.

December 5, 2012

You thought we forgot about our Black Friday Deals Deals DEALS? Of course not! We’ll be throwing in our rock-bottom sale items whenever the mood strikes us, and right now, the mood slapped us silly while saying, “Hey, how about you find another Cheapest In The Whole County” item? We’ve only got two counties in the Bay Area left, so today we’re headed up to the Whine Country!

Far from the maddening crowds. .. your own private sanctuary located in Berryessa Estates! This home features parquet flooring in the dining area and living room. The living room has a fireplace with bench seating, two decks on either side while offering open access to the dining area right off the kitchen. The Master is located on the main floor and also offers access to one of the two decks. Master bath features jetted tub to chase the cares of the day away. Downstairs is an oasis with a large family room with pellet stove and 2 additional bedrooms, bath, laundry room and the patio. Decks overlook the valley, what a great way to unwind! True there is work to be done but if you’re seeking seclusion, put this property on your list and take advantage of this great price reduction!

True there is work to be done. Maybe it could start with rounding up this home a city to go with its street address.

Looks like if you move here, you’ll be tied up with all these exciting challenges! But not as challenging as the previous owners who bought it in 2004 for $355K and were lassoed into foreclosure seven years later!

Now when we said this place was rural, we weren’t kidding. You’ll be getting along your little dogie for a spell finding the place.

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The posts on this weblog are provided "AS IS" with no warranties, and confer no rights. The opinions expressed herein are my own personal opinions and only represent the view of Burbed.com's editor. Comments are the views of commenters, not Burbed. If companies, properties, etc are mentioned on this blog, you should assume that I have a financial stake in them. Trust no one.