Interestingly the same and simultaneously different, from the same article: "Women can't get ahead no matter what they do, and this is a society where women who are sexual (or present themselves sexually) are judged. But on the flip side, women who don't take enough care in their appearance, who dress sloppily, who don't fit the required metric of how women should look, are also criticized."

I think this idea of not judging is overstated. It seems to me that anyone — male or female — who tries to look sexy in social media photographs is going to get mocked. Males, perhaps, even more than females.

If this mockery were somehow silenced — and, really, how could that happen? — I can't imagine how idiotic the photographs would get.

37 comments:

this is a society where women who are sexual (or present themselves sexually) are judged. But on the flip side, women who don't take enough care in their appearance, who dress sloppily, who don't fit the required metric of how women should look, are also criticized."

Correct as far as it goes, but somehow the last three words of the quote got cut off. The quote should end with the four words mainly by other women.

What's amusing about this, is that the more our society "evolves" (ie more socially conscious - which I find to be PC BS) the idea of existing outside of what you appear to be in other people's eyes - take Ann's constant "men in shorts" watch, seems to be harder. This seems to take on toxic overtones in particular with women who cannot seem to exist outside of the how other's perceive them. That has not seemingly been such a male trait in the past, but is becoming moreso now.

We are a heavily visually oriented species. As such, a large part of our interactions amongst each other are governed by and/or influenced by appearance. Its so hard coded into us that it seems like a near impossible task to force people to not at least partially judge their fellow humans based on outer appearance initially.

on the flip side, women who don't take enough care in their appearance, who dress sloppily, who don't fit the required metric of how women should look, are also criticized."

Is this really the flip side of presenting yourself sexually? I would say that the appearance that I adopt for work, that most women with any professionalism adopt for work and most other things, is neither of these. How is sexual the opposite of sloppy?

Also, for gods, sake, why are feminists so concerned about being judged? I am woman, hear me roar, but only if others approve?

"There's a larger issue at play here that goes beyond bullying and unkind judgements, she contends. "Women and girls are being judged on how they look, not who they are."

Everyone is judged by how they look, especially if that is all you know about someone.

Additionally, how you choose to present yourself is a function of who you are and of how you want people to perceive you.

The problem is that before social media you could present the version of yourself that you wished to present depending on the situation.

Now, if you use social media, that is not so straight forward. If you choose to post a picture of yourself acting or dressing in a way that would be inappropriate at work, your boss or coworkers may see it and it is going to color their perception of you.

Human beings are like that. Since we can't read minds we pretty much have to use your actions and appearance to form judgments concerning you.

And by the way, how you act and appear is the real you. I don't really care about your deep thoughts and feelings. As far as I'm concerned, your actions define you.

Men are also judged on how they look. I can guarantee you I got orders of magnitude better service when I walk into a store right after work still wearing my jacket and tie than if I've untucked and unbuttoned my work shirt and taken off my tie and jacket.

If I know I'm going to be stopping at my leasing office or a store where I have to deal with sales people, I make sure to leave my jacket and tie on, because I know I'll be treated differently.

As for the judging women: I think, for the most part, women who dress professional don't really register as sexual/asexual. Honestly, for the most part, women where I work are dressed professionally and in ways that don't stand out as looking for attention. I know I've heard people being very critical of some outfits, but they tend to be of women that the judger already didn't like.

The Goldie Locks paradox. They need to simultaneously appeal to both dignified and slutty women. The pornography industry has demonstrated you can have your cake and eat it too, but only when there are overlapping or convergent interests. Progressive morality is not a generational phenomenon, but of a rebellious minority with deviant personalities.

Women are judged on how they look mainly because nature made it that way. Nobody has to teach a man to respond to an attractive woman. How and when that response should be expressed are learned social skills, but the response is biologically innate.

Since men are "born that way" they should not be criticized for this, right?

In any event while women (just like men!) are judged on their sexual appeal, that is not all they are judged upon. No doubt sexual appeal can be a boost, but staged displays of that appeal in the wrong context can result in negative judgments for men or women.

I spent six hours today in a business meeting with several women, none of whom would rank very high on the sexual attractiveness scale (at least conventionally. Your results may vary.) Most of them I already knew well. Two are respected leaders in our organization, two less senior.) All four were judged by me and I judged them very highly. They were great, and I told their boss that after the meeting.

I do tend to judge people who are prone to complaint, whiny, self centered or unrealistic in their expectations. It does seem to me that women (and men) who put sexy photos of themselves on Facebook are seeking to be judged based on sex. If they think they will not be judged that way they are unrealistic. If they whine and complain about it (or about someone else being so judged) I do indeed find them less competent.

So the study that this was based on supports the proposition that people apparently lacking the self-awareness and introspection needed to consider that posting overtly sexualized images of themselves on social media might reflect poorly on them are judged less competent than those who do possess such self-awareness.

A young woman who graduated college this last spring began teaching at the local Christian elementary school.

Her Facebook page--which she has set on totally public--has tons of pictures of her partying at the Frio with floating coolers of beer in a teeny tiny bikini showing off all her "lovely" tattoos.

I have no objection to any of those activities (they're not for me but different strokes for different folks) but you'd think that someone hired to teach second grade at a Baptist school would have a little more discretion than that. Most teachers I know have two Facebook accounts.

"Women and girls are being judged on how they look, not who they are."

Oh feminists you so crazy!

And stupid.

How they look determines their value in the sexual marketplace, which is a huge chunk of who they are, like it or not. A beautiful, feminine woman has power that a homely woman does not. A woman's looks are her most valuable attribute!

This goes straight to our biological core, and all the juvenile ranting of the feminist crowd, the vast majority of which are disgruntled because they are NOT beautiful and feminine will never change this fact.

Nigerian schoolgirls still missing, amidst fears of sexual abuse - One hundred days have passed since Boko Haram kidnapped the Chibok schoolgirls, and now some fear that they may have been raped while under the custody of the northern Nigerian militants.

The admonition to not judge a book by it's cover is supposed to discourage you from thinking a good cover means a good book. However, no one has ever claimed that a crappy cover means a good book. Try to look good.