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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Can't we just have normal frosting roses, sprinkles, maybe a spermy-looking bunch of balloons? Even a beanbag-body clown would be ok. I mean, I try to avoid even being in the same room with yukky-looking creatures...do I really have to take a bite out of one with a side of Ben and Jerry's?

This is a Naked Mole Rat. Cousin to the rare Old Navy Sweater-Wearing Mole Rat. This cutie is interesting because he lacks the ability to feel pain.

Yeeeah. I kinda wish I had that trait right about now.

Maybe if we hadn't stored this confection in a grimy cabinet and put a ravioli under the sheets, we could have avoided this infestation, hmm?

And speaking of infestations...

Do you think if you made a cake like this out of Twinkies, it'd be twice as likely to survive a nuclear holocaust? Just wondering.

Hey, ever wonder what you'd get if you crossed a naked mole rat with a roach?

That last cake reminds me of the dreaded Cockamouse from How I Met Your Mother, you know the one that wouldn't leave Marshall and Lily alone... We never actually saw the thing on the show but if it looked like anything this had to be it!

That last one may be a cicada, but for some reason it reminded me of the snap-dragon-fly in [i]Through the Looking-Glass[/i]: "Its body is made of plum-pudding, its wings of holly-leaves, and its head is a raisin burning in brandy."

Picture about a quarter-way down the page. Of course the wreckerator left off the long thorax: