Vagina Saves Penis From Attack By Angry Man

Non-theater geeks, gather ’round ye all and let me school you in the art of radical street theater. Really, there’s not much schooling to be done; the former actor in me wanted to write a pretentious sentence. But…street theater! It’s when performers take their acting to the street and engage real, unsuspecting onlookers as their audience. This is what members of the Nomadic Academy of Fools, a UK theater troupe, were doing when they hit Glastonbury High Street in a penis and vagina costume respectively to promote their forthcoming play.

“We’re trying to highlight the contradiction in society,” said Joanne Tremarco, the woman dressed as a vagina.

Um, obviously. I got it right away.But some non-theater loving fool, did not understand the message. He took offense to the walking, talking genitals and began to attack Chris Murray, the man dressed as a penis.

“He started shouting at me, saying it was disgusting and children could see us. I could tell by his body language that he was really angry. I tried to calm him down, I wasn’t looking for a fight; but he grabbed my [penis head], tore it off and chucked it on the pavement,” Murray recounted.

That’s when the heroic vagina, Joanne Tremarco, stepped in to save the penis, calming the angry man down and removing him from the shaft. Soon after, the police showed up and demanded that Tremarco and Murray remove their genitalia costumes or be arrested.

“We wouldn’t have stopped the play going ahead, but it’s not appropriate to have costumes and swear words like that in the streets where young children and other people could see them and be offended,” said the police in a statement.

A spokeswoman for the theater responded to the incident: “We were deeply surprised by the reaction of the police in this situation. This is not the first time these shows have been performed here.”

You try to do a good deed in the world. You try communicate your message to society. You save a peace-loving penis from an angry onlooker and this is how you’re repaid? Well, Joanne Tremarco, we salute you. You are a true vagina and a hero our eyes. Keep up the good work. [Western Morning News]

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