I'm Becky - a Northern Virginian who dreams of the country but could never *really* be far from a city. Minimalist. Yoga and nail polish lover. Bookworm. Miscarriage Survivor. Infertility Warrior. Prefers Etsy over the mall. Crazy in love with my husband. Inspired by living simply and intentionally. Firm believer in finding joy in life's little moments. Welcome!

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Aug 19, 2011

Facebreak?

I've been thinking a lot lately about social media, specifically facebook. I've had a few conversations with various people and I've been surprised to find myself saying that I'm simply over it.

I was very anti-facebook for a long time. (In fact, when I finally got an account after I got married it was near Christmas and I remember my best friend texting me saying "it's a Christmas miracle!") I didn't want to be a "friend" to someone on the internet that I wasn't friends with in real life. While my attitude in general has changed, I think the core concept of that idea is not bad. But the longer you're on facebook the harder it gets to stay that way.

I've never had a bad experience - no cyber bullying, no passive aggressiveness and for as many cons as it has, facebook has just as many pros. But right now I use it solely to link blog posts on the Love Everyday Life page, and to check in to keep up with my extended family. While I love both of those things, I don't know if that's reason enough for me to keep an account.

It's actually become more of a hassle to maintain my account - I feel like if it's there I should log in every so often, but every time I do I find more things that annoy me. (Notice I said things and not people - I don't want anyone to think this is directed at them).

Every time I turn around there's a "facebook has changed their settings" status, telling me how I need to do stuff to make sure all my information stays secure, or how if I care about a cause or love a certain person I should post this in my status. It's like the 21st century version of chain letters.

I don't want to become part of a generation that relies solely on facebook to recognize birthdays. I've always been good with dates and I like writing birthdays, anniversaries, and other special occasions on my calendar. Up until this year, I didn't even have my birthday listed on my profile - because if you don't know my birthday in "real life," I'm not going to be offended if you don't leave me birthday wishes on my facebook wall.

Again, I'm not saying facebook is a bad thing, I'm just saying I'm not sure it's right for me, where I am anymore. I thought about just stepping away from it for awhile, but as long as I have an active account I feel like I should be doing something, or should be utilizing it, otherwise, what's the point? I'm thinking about de-activating my account for a month or so, to see how it goes, and then re-evaluating from there.

After all, if I'm embracing a minimalist lifestyle and getting rid of physical things to de-clutter my life, why can't I get rid of virtual things that are cluttering my life?

Have you ever taken a break from facebook, or another kind of social media? Did you like it, or did you hop right back on?

15 comments:

Oh, my goodness! Are we on the same wavelength or WHAT! I have been thinking about deactivating my Facebook account as well. Honestly, I don't use it all that much. I don't even use it to keep up with faraway family. I've been thinking long and hard about how Facebook is adding to my life and it's not doing a dang thing. It's clutter, that's all it is.

I've been off facebook since last September for personal reasons (a combination of not wanting to take the step and remove certain people, both boys and girls, from my friend list) and also because I was just TIRED Of it. I haven't gone back. Do I miss out on pictures of friends babies and weddings and instant up-to-the-minute details of my friends' lives? Yes. Do I miss that? Not really.

I have actually figured out who my real friends are (soome of my very best friends for years forgot my birthday last year which I presume was cause I was no longer on facebook), I can focus more on the social media I do really care about (twitter, my blog). And I'm less distrated during the work day, weekends, and etc. (really. I may be on gmail at times during work, but I don't feel like I have to check facebook just because I have it.)

This is getting rambly but honestly, I'm glad I'm not on FB anymore. It's a personal preference and at this point, not something I think I want to go back to using. Crazy for a blogger, eh? =)

that's an interesting debate Becky! as sad as this may sound, i almost can't imagine what my life would have been like without social media, especially when i turned 21. i joined myspace first, and then facebook eventually, and during that time of crazy partying and going out with people all the time, it was always fun to see the pictures i was tagged in the next day. it sounds like maybe taking a break from it would do you good :) and see if you miss anything about it. there's no one telling you that you HAVE to be on it :)

I don't know if I'll ever give up Facebook, if only because my friends are truly scattered throughout the country & even the worlds, & Facebook provides the opportunity for us to keep up on one another's lives. And yes, we should keep up on one another's lives in real-life, too, & perhaps people will argue that Facebook makes us lazy - but Facebook reminds me to be a good friend, to reach out to people. It keeps me updated so that then I can call & say, "I saw that you...!" or whatever. I silence annoying people from my newsfeed & have unliked most pages so there's less feed clutter, but mostly I use Facebook to feel less lonely while I'm way out here in New Hampshire.

I admire people who can leave facebook and never look back, but I'm not one of them. Like Suburban Sweetheart, my friends are scattered all around and its a great way for me to keep up on their lives. Most of them are parents or have really busy work schedules so I feel bad calling because I feel like I'm interrupting time with their kids. There's never a bad time to send a facebook message though (and some of them don't really use email any more). When I move to GA, I'll definitely be relying on Facebook to help me feel less lonely. And I'm also the bad friend who doesn't know exactly when birthday's are without the FB reminder. I really do need to a get a calendar and write them all in. That said, I completely support others decisions to deactivate their accounts.

I think about leaving Facebook all the time, but I link my book club to it, I keep in touch with family and friends... I just can't let it go because of that. What I try to do is just check it very sparingly and not spend too much time on it. If it's really getting on my nerves I can delete temporarily and it will still come back - one perk of Facebook!

I'm a big Facebook fan to be honest and I've never even considered leaving! I do like Twitter better but Facebook is a really nice way to keep in touch with my friends and family who are all over the place and share tidbits of my own life. I've never really had the "facebook jealousies" or annoyances like other people have because if someone continually posts an annoying status I just hide them! I also clean out my friends list quite often. Plus, I think Facebook is really fun and an easier way to keep in touch with some people than Twitter, which is more for quick little messages!

I couldn't imagine leaving Facebook. I've moved a lot throughout my life and FB is the best/easiest way to keep in touch with my long-distance friends, and my entire family (seriously - aunts, uncles, grandma, cousins - they're all there). I know who my real friends are because we talk on the phone/text/email/see each other regardless of FB activity; but I'm kind of a homebody sometimes and it got annoying when a lot of friends would show up at my door and/or berate me for not going out. So FB is good for being able to keep in touch with them but still sometimes keep them at arm's-length when I need to.

I was anti-facebook for a long time, and I'm still not really a very big fan. BUT, my family is on facebook. It's become the easiest way to share photos of the girls with my family, so I stick with it. I really don't use it for much else, though, so it's not really much of a time suck for me.

I left facebook after a break up for a couple of months because I was obv friends with my ex and I did not want to unfriend him & his family so it was an avoidance thing. I eventually re-activated my account. It annoys me quite a bit, but it's a good way to keep in touch with aunts/uncles/cousins, so I stay on there... But I am rarely on there these days! And I don't feel the need to log in frequently at all. I do it when I feel like it and that is it!

I totally hear what you are saying about Facebook. I felt similarly a little while ago, but then I just decided to adjust how I dealt with Facebook. I update when and how I like and that's that. But, if you do feel like it is an all or nothing thing, then maybe give a month of deactivation a try. It couldn't hurt!

It's funny that Lisa was just talking about not liking facebook much either. Anyway, I completely disagree (nicely) and I love facebook. I find it's a really great way to share photos, and sometimes get new ideas. I have 2 friends who just spent a week on the Cape in the last month and looking through their pictures I got ideas of what I want to do, plus I enjoyed seeing them happy on their trips. I've also noticed when I got older, I've had less time to keep in "frequent" touch with all of my friends. It doesn't mean I don't like them, or have any sort of problem with them at all, it just means we all have busy adult lives and the time we used to spend together is now being taken up with work, family, our husbands etc. I still like to know what they are up to because I care about them, maybe not as much as the friends I talk to every week, but I still do. I find this is particularly true with my guy friends, since they live all over the world and tend to not be phone people.

I actually like facebook better than twitter because more people I know in real life are on it. I personally care what an old friend who I don't really talk to much anymore is doing more than most celebrities :) But I do have some good friends and good blogging friends on twitter, so I don't hate it- I just prefer facebook.

The birthday thing is a little weird, but I have a good friend who doesn't have her birthday on facebook and I still remember it every year (I also have friends who don't have facebook at all). I use the birthday feature more for more distant people like friend's boyfriend etc... not to say I don't care about him because he makes a very good friend of mine happy, but I just probably wouldn't remember his birthday otherwise :)

Wow, I just realized I just wrote like a novel arguing with you haha- I don't know why I'm so in defense of facebook :) Obviously it's a person thing and if you will be happier deactivating you should :)