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'You are a big posh sod with plums in your mouth, and the plums have mutated and they have got beaks. You make pigs smoke. You feed beef burgers to swans. You have big sheds, but nobody's allowed in. And in these sheds you have 20ft high chickens, and these chickens are scared because the don't know why they're so big, and they're going, "Oh why am I so massive?" and they're looking down at all the little chickens and they think they're in an aeroplane because all the other chickens are so small.'

dugong likes this

"As for actually admitting to liking Corsas on a public forum: you're a bollock-brained, biscuit-eating, faux-northern, bastardy, bollocky, wank-brain"

Fancy a nice cheap camping holiday? Not in a particular hurry to get there? No gradients of more than 1:100 on the way? Don't mind looking a bit of a tit and being overtaken by scruffy Landcrabs towing Safari Lanterns? Then does eBay have the vehicle for you...

Im hoping the seller of this eventually runs out of money listing it on eBay. That's the 4th time it's been on in very quick succession, and everytime it 'mysteriously' gets loads of bids early on but doesn't quite reach reserve or buy it now. I'm absolutely convinced that there's nothing in this, or the fact it's a private listing.