pants: MY CAREER PATH IS MOSTLY TOILETS AND KEEPING THEM CLEAN, CARING FOR THEM (FEEDING THEM)
spigot: DO YOU EVER CLAP THE SEAT UP AND DOWN LIKE A PAC-MAN MOUTH AND HAVE CONVERSATIONS
spigot: I LIKE TO PRETEND I'M JACK MCCOY AND ATTACH TWELVE TOILETS TO STRINGS AND DELIVER CLOSING ARGUMENTS TO THEM: WE THE JURY (CLAMP CLONK CLAMP BONK) FIND THE DEFENDANT NOT GUILTY
spigot: YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT
deuce: CAN I BE LET OUT OF THIS BOX NOW