October 22, 2010

Freakin' Friday

Bullshit Artists At Work
According to Bloomberg, Google (whose motto is "Don't Be Evil") cut its US taxes by over $3 billion in the past three years by using sneaky but legal off-shore tax gimmicks. That's billion with a b.

The report claims that Google's overseas tax rate is about 2.4%. Between federal and state taxes, my company pays about 45% of our profits in taxes.

Do you wonder why small companies have no chance against global monstrosities? These guys have 50 ways to screw people we haven't even heard of.

Unclear On The Concept
Earlier this month, the head of the Delaware Division of Alcohol and Tobacco Enforcement, Siobhan Sullivan, resigned after being arrested for drunken driving. She's scheduled to be arraigned today.

Dumb vs. Dumber
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid of Nevada is fighting for his political life against a genius named Sharron Angle. Recently, Angle told a bunch of Hispanic students that she thought they looked Asian. Not to be outdone in the competition for astonishing stupidity, yesterday Reid told MSNBC, "But for me, we'd be in a worldwide depression." Say goodnight, Harry.

Aliens Messing With Our Nukes
According to 7 former US military personnel, aliens have landed in the US and Great Britain and deactivated our nuclear weapons. According to The Telegraph, the military men claim, "The beings have repeated their (UK) efforts in the US and have been active since 1948... and accused the respective governments of trying to keep the information secret."

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Ad Contrarian Says:

"Shakespeare was a storyteller. You're a copywriter.""Good ads appeal to us as consumers. Great ads appeal to us as humans."

"Social Media: Tens of millions of disagreeable people looking to make trouble."

"As an ad medium, the web is a much better yellow pages and a much worse television."

"Sometimes success in the advertising business requires sitting quietly and letting clients proceed with their hysterical delusions."

"Marketers prefer precise answers that are wrong to imprecise answers that are right."

"Brand studies last for months, cost hundreds of thousands of dollars, and generally have less impact on business than cleaning the drapes."

"The idea that the same consumer who was frantically clicking her TV remote to escape from advertising was going to merrily click her mouse to interact with it is going to go down as one of the great advertising delusions of all time."

"Nobody really knows what "creativity" is. Every year thousands of people take a pilgrimage to find out. This involves flying to Cannes, snorting cocaine, and having sex with smokers."

"Marketers habitually overestimate the attraction of new things and underestimate the power of traditional consumer behavior."

"We don’t get them to try our product by convincing them to love our brand. We get them to love our brand by convincing them to try our product."

"In American business, there is nothing stupider than the previous generation of management."

"If the message is right, who cares what screen people see it on? If the message is wrong, what difference does it make?"

"The only form of product information on the planet less trustworthy than advertising is the shrill ravings of web maniacs."

"There's no bigger sucker than a gullible marketer convinced he's missing a trend."

"All ad campaigns are branding campaigns. Whether you intend it to be a branding campaign is irrelevant. It will create an impression of your brand regardless of your intent."

"Nobody ever got famous predicting that things would stay pretty much the same."