A Sorta Girlfriend

I am not too sure whether to tell you about my online dating disaster. I feel the only way is to write this post with part of an email which I sent to a friend this morning. A teaser perhaps ! And to read in these comments what you have to say my friends.

Tammy

Hi Karen,

Something happened to me a couple of days ago which brought me back to my own reality. I had been so drawn into Tammy’s world of problems and lies that I had forgotten my own life and how I normally am. If she sends me a copy of her passport or rings my doorbell I will believe her and apologise. Until then I have to forget her and move on with my life.

The story is. The other afternoon I was indoors with the A/C on as it was baking hot. I had a “feeling” that I must go out on the rear balcony 3 floors up, and look out. Down below me to the left behind some bushes I saw a blue shirt and a head and recognised Paco lying on the ground trying to move. He was out of sight of the path and the road. I called and asked if he was okay. He waved me to come down, which I did. Meeting Carlos in the street I told him what I saw and we both went and picked Paco up. His arms and face were torn to ribbons. He was on the path, had a heart problem and fell over the hedge into the bushes. We got him home. If I was not “told” to go out on the balcony to see him he would have probably been there all night and probably died.

This is my real world of helping people, being kind and generous. Because Tammy has taken most of my money, my generosity will have to wait a while until I build up my funds again. In the past I have paid off most of a poor local family’s slate at the local shop and many other similar acts. I have to get back to being myself. This is why I have deleted Yahoo Messenger totally from my laptop as Tammy’s world is not mine and I don’t want to be constantly reminded that in helping a woman I was going to spend the rest of my life with, it became a disaster for me.

Wow ! Sorry to read of your health problems. I hope you are feeling a little better this morning. Sorry I cut Yahoo Messenger so quickly, but I had to do it. It’s going to be another hot day, but I will be doing some shopping for the weekend in a couple of hours time.

I have used up a lot of love and emotions over the last 3 months or so. Also a lot of money (which I am not too worried about as that can be replaced over time). Love and emotions cannot be replaced. I am still not sure whether I was involved with an incompetent business woman or a Nigerian criminal group, but I believe it to be the latter.

Even though it’s going to hurt, do you want to read the highlights of my story in a later post ?

Ralph, I am so sorry. I don’t know the details, of course, but I hope that you are feeling okay. It sounds like you are handling it well. That’s awful that someone could take advantage of your generosity. I would have some words with this Tammy!!

Hello Amy 😀 Thank you for your concern my friend. The easy part was getting sucked in. The hardest part was saying “enough is enough” and cutting the ties. But, hey, I’m okay about it now ! Ralph xox ❤

I had the same thing happen to me but fortunatly my friend checked the guy out on http://www.Romancescam.com and saw his picture there. Emotionally I had invested a lot but financially never got to that point. There are a lot of Nigerian and also Russian scams out there. They are on every site and in every country. It is big business for them. apparently it has brought in over a billion dollars into Nigeria so the government does nothing to them. My friend has also lost a lot of money on Phillipine lonely hearts sites. They always have a sob story. The Nigerians even use pictures of children and models off a Hawaiin modeling agency. I think it is despicable that anyone would play with someone’s emotions like that. Scum of the world I called the man who was trying to entice me. Also many of these scams will even use military photos. So trust Allah but tie your camel Bruce. don’t give up on love but be very careful who comes into your world.

Hi Lynne 😀 Thank you so much for your long and informative comment. Yes. It’s the months of love and emotion which hurts the most. It’s really evil to use love as a tool for greed, but hey, I got my own back ! I’ll do a more expanded post on my “love story” because of your comment and how it’s ended ! I am so pleased that you got out before money became involved. Big hug. Ralph xox ❤

Thanks for featuring me in your post?! Sorry to hear about the terrible ordeal. Of course “enquiring minds want to know” (well known tabloid) “The Rest of the Story” (Paul Harvey radio spot; he recently passed away, RIP). I have had Nigerian scams come in emails “we need your help to receive a million dollar deposit from our foreign government; we can’t process the account; you can keep 10% of it by helping out”! I quickly delete such!! I didn’t know scammers prowl the online dating sites, yikes!

Thanks for the inspiring story of rescuing Paco. I have had multiple “feelings” and “guidance” that has greatly affected the trajectory of my life. Someday I hope to share more on these things. So sorry you lost the love and have had such emotional upheaval. Take care

Hello Steve 😀
You’re welcome my friend. “A sorta GF” seemed just right for this post. I reckon we would all be multi-millionaires if the spammers actually gave us the money ! 😀
I would love to read more about your feelings and guidance. Maybe you will write about it in the future.
Take care. Ralph 😀

Hi Al 😀 Thanks mate ! It’s not the happy ever after that I had dreamed of. At least I have had closure. My local friends wanted to smack me around the head for the last 3 months. I wouldn’t listen and ignored the flags Tammy was flying. My friends now tell me to find someone local and they will vet her first before I am allowed near her 😉 Ralph 😀

Phew! Like a lot of your faithful followers, I wondered what was happening in the romance field. What a rotten thing to happen, and to such a nice person. Tell you what, “Tammy” better watch her back, there’ll be posses out looking for her. There are some evil people out there, it seems!

Thank goodness you had that little voice telling you to go out on the verandah, that’s quite eery.

Give those cats a good cuddle and extra treats, they’re faithful to you and love you to pieces! Ciao for now, ragazzo, con baci. ❤ oxo

Hi Yvonne 😀 I was wondering what was going on in my romance field as well ! And I’m involved !
Yes. I think Paco had a lucky charm. Me ! And whoever gave me that feeling.
The cats are fine, asleep as usual. Hugs. Ralph xox ❤

Hi C&B 😀 Thank you so much. I didn’t know how to put this “love story” to you in this post without a 100 page extravaganza ! I just wanted to know whether I should continue and expand on what happened over the 3 months I had known Tammy. Your and other comments have made my mind up for me. I will write something in the future. Have a lovely weekend. Ralph xox ❤

Hello Not 😀 Thank you. If I am correct, I believe you mentioned your online dating experience on your blog. I now understand what you had been through and wish you can find Mr Right by chance locally…….”friend approved” of course ! Hugs. Ralph xox ❤

Mine was different in that money was never brought up, but still… All the months of emotional investment just to have it fall apart for whatever reason is tough. Here’s to better times and chances for both of us ((hugs)) ❤

What the “h” “e” double hockey pucks is going on out there?
I think it’s a great idea that you meet someone local that your friends can swear is a vet.
Sigh! Take care, you’re worth a septzillion Tammies.
……… Will the bike shack be opening? ……. 😎

Hello Resa 😀 I love your opening sentence and the answer is …… I’m stupid !
I don’t think I can handle a vet. I mean, I don’t think my apartment is big enough for her to operate on a horse ! And a giraffe would be impossible 😉
Behind the bike sheds is now reopened. I gave the bras to the RSPB (Royal Society for the Protection of Birds) for tits to nest in 😉
Big hug my friend. Ralph xox ❤

I didn’t fully understand your post, but I understood enough to know that someone took advantage of your kind heart. 😦 I’m so sorry to hear it my friend. Fortunately you get to keep that kind heart, while that person will have to live with the person they are. Don’t change, Ralph!! Big hug. Xox SDHD

Hello SDHD 😀 I had to present my “love story” in such a way without going into detail or the post would have gone on forever. I agree. Tammy, he or she, will have to live with what they’ve done. But have they a heart or are they cold and calculating ? The latter I suspect. Have a lovely weekend my friend. Ralph xox ❤

Buuu…on the schemin’ scammer & her miserable heart.
She & anyone that takes advantage of kind hearts & souls are wasted life.
Yes -that may sound harsh. But – that’s what I think.
You stay you (but – beware of vultures). Sad reality – they exist throughout the world.
Sorry about your broken heart. Glad that you have friends that are there for you.

And – to end on a happy note..
Good riddance to IT.
And – YAY that you spotted Paco!

Hi RoSy 😀 Your first couple of paragraphs are so true. Lately I said the exact same words to Asians that are constantly calling me on the phone, saying they are from Microsoft and I have a million bugs and viruses on my PC. I know that’s not true as Microsoft would never phone me and I have https://www.malwarebytes.org/ protecting my laptop. The best !
Thanks for your supportive comment my friend. Hugs. Ralph xox ❤

Hi Wendy 😀 That’s okay Wendy. Yes, writing about it does help. I will probably draft the full post early on next week. I do hope there is a local lady for me ! Maybe there is a spare “Mary had a little lamb” in Jimena for me 😉 Ralph xox ❤

Ralph, what an extraordinary thing to happen – to feel drawn to going up on to the balcony – you really are an angel, certainly Paco’s guardian angel. Thank goodness that you listened to your inner voice.

I’m so sorry to hear about ‘Tammy’. what a horrible thing to happen – gosh, there are some really shitty people out there that pray on the kindness and generosity of good folk such as yourself. I think if you can bear too, it might be good to write about it, It will be cathartic and also help warn others of the perils of internet dating etc.

Hi Lottie 😀
In a way, living on my own, I can hear that “inner voice” more clearly than having the hustle and bustle of a family around as distractions. I have not seen him since. He is usually wandering around the street most of the day. Maybe his daughter, who he lives with, has grounded him !
Thanks for your thoughts on my online dating. My next post will expand on this one and you’ll get a clearer picture of what I went through.
Massive hugs back my friend. Ralph xox ❤

I am so sorry to hear this Ralph…it’s unbelievable that there are still people out there who take advantage over someone’s emotion, feeling and kindness…My sincere hope that you will meet the one someday and have a good health..xoxo

I so sorry that this has happend, you are so kind and generous and do not deserve to be taken advantage of. I hope that you gain your confidance back soon. Not everyone is like that luckily i can see from all the comments that there are alot of people who think highly of you, me being one of them.

Thank goodness you listened to that nudge to get you outside!
I have never understood how people can intentionally use someone’s beautiful spirit for such dastardly purposes. 😦 Shine on dear friend. 8)8)

How dare she! I’d like to slap HER around the head a few times. I’m so sorry, my dear friend. This has got to be a very painful thing for you. Why is it the sweetest and most generous people are the ones to get hurt? I agree with your local friends, Ralph. Let them help you. I’m so glad you had that urge to go and look out and was able to find Paco. My prayers are with him for a speedy return to good health. They are also with you, Darlin’. That your pain will be of short duration and your perfect someone will arrive soon to be your loving companion. No one deserves it more than you. Telling your story might be just the thing to help rid yourself of this person emotionally. When/if you decide to tell all, your friends here (me included) will be happy to listen and offer what comfort we can. Much love and massive squishy hugs for you. ❤ xoxoxo

PS: I sure hope you weren't too traumatized by being in the holding cell overnight with those Viagra salesmen. 😛

Hi Liz 😀 I don’t know if he’s okay. I’ll ask when I next go down his way.

Yes. Online dating ! Smack my wrist ! You are so right ! I was so involved with the content of this post and forgotten that my readers need to understand what’s going on. It’s a bit like your recipe…… “add two eggs to the flour and mix” …. someone is bound to use fried eggs 😉

My dear friend Ralph, you are too generous and trusting. It’s a shame that there are such mean people in this world who take advantage of kindness. I am in NYC right now with my daughter. I’ll write more when I get back to Canada.

Thank you for rescuing Paco. You are a valuable, helpful man and have a positive outlook on life! Stay that way, the world needs such people!

Hi Carmen 😀
You are also so sweet. Why are the nice ladies like you taken and are on the internet which are both no-go areas for me. There must be a local goat herderess around here for me somewhere ! 😉
I hope you are having a great time in NY. Big hug. Ralph xox ❤

Oh no! I just came over to ‘see you’ … as it has been a while but you know me – always late since Hobbiton is so far away! Anyhow … I am truly sorry my friend. You and I both know that the hardest ‘thing’ to deal with is that empty space where lost dream once lived … glowing with hope. And when the glow of that hope diminishes or even disappear – it hurts. I know it might not help much now but the intensity of that hurt is above all evidence of your own humanity and capacity to love and trust another human being. The fact that they do not deserve it rests with them and their sordid world. In your world – light goes on. Trust me.
Take Care and Keep in Touch
Daniela

Hello Daniela 😀 Before I answer you, my comment on your post is in your spam. Heaven knows why, but all my comments in other blogs are in with Nigerian criminals in spam. Yet I can answer comments in my own posts. Weird !
You actually talk a lot of sense. Just before I cut off Tammy completely, she said “What’s your problem ?” I replied, “I haven’t got a problem. You have ! Big time !”
The funny thing is that I am not angry or upset, just sad that things didn’t work out for us.
Big hugs. Ralph xox ❤

Your comment has been duly rescued -:)! I am glad to talk some sense from time to time -:)! The thing is – I understand how you feel … because it is exactly how I would feel – not angry or upset, just saddened. On that note big hugs to you too my friend! You are one lovely human -:)!

Thank you for the rescue my friend. I hope Akismet restores my comments back to normal soon.
Yes. Just sad. I can’t stop thinking about what went on and I do want to move on with my life.
Happy Sunday Daniela. ❤ xox

BTW. I have commented in your blog. For some reason ALL my comments I have made in other blogs end up in Spam between the Viagra salesman trying to borrow money from the $17,000,000 donation meant for you. Unspam it please !

I am very aggrieved to learn that you have been grappling with such an emotionally draining situation…I hate to know that you have been enduring this kind of mental and emotional pain…and violation, too.

I have a wee bit of experience with being taken advantage of (well, I suppose all humans do) and drained, financially and all ways emotionally, by someone I love- in particular, sadly, my big brother, who has struggled with addiction since he was 11-years-old…

So, I definitely have compassion for what you are going through.

I am just grateful this ordeal has not surpassed three months, you were not physically harmed, and you are now in a state of acceptance, healing and moving on, from what I can see…and I am so grateful to see you are still Ralph, the kind and caring person; perhaps a bit bruised, but certainly not maimed or distorted by this horrible situation. It is easy, I think, to become hardened and embittered, to become a dark and suspicious cynic who bequeaths love and kindness only in the stingiest and minutest increments…it takes a true hero to remain kind and compassionate, even in knowing the great risk there is in being so.

As for Paco, what a story of typical Ralphian Triumph!! That was truly uplifting and so redolent of the kind of champion you are, matie. A Superhero Ralph- of generosity, benevolence, and absolute jubilance and joy. To know you is an honour, and an inspiration, indeed. So happy Paco was rescued, that you were given this internal insight, this “feeling” to venture forth onto the rear balcony, discovering your friend in peril. I trust Paco is well on the mend and cannot wait for his next happy discourse with you.

I hope Karen’s health is improving, from what I read in the message. Thoughts are with her.

I love anything you have to say in a post. If it will provide further healing and a sense of closure, then I definitely look forward to a post further detailing your unfortunate and distressing ordeal with “Tammy.” It may be a learning experience for others, too, I imagine. Perhaps someone else may avoid a similar experience by learning from what you’ve gone through.

Hi Autumn Jade 😀 Thank you so much for your looooong and informative comment. Family must be more difficult to solve than an online date. Sorry you had to go through that with your brother. I will be writing quite a long post on Tammy soon where you can read all about it !
I saw Paco today and he is okay but is showing his wounds.
Sir was photogenic enough to be included in this post. 😀
Have a lovely week my friend. Ralph xox ❤

Ralph, I am so sorry to hear that you got scammed. They have a way to get to your heart with beautiful words, you can find if you google how to do it… I found the exact words, my scammer used. Didn’t I tell you about the 2 scammers who tried to get money out of me on the on line dating site… they were clearly from Nigeria and the photos were from people who existed, I found out.. I posted them also on scammers sites to warn other people and reported them. Luckily I did not part with money as I didn’t have enough any way… I didn’t think they do it with women too. Also mine made the mistake and didn’t paste properly as he called me Betty once……… Good you closed the chapter and get on with your life.. as you are clearly needed in your community. You are being loved there! Good you did find Paco. Take care Ralph and don’t be too trusting!

Hi Ute 😀 No. You didn’t tell me. Where were you 3 months ago ? I could have either borrowed your expertise on this or you could have joined Hilda and smacked me around the head 😉
Paco was lucky. I saw him today in the street. He has some healing wounds but otherwise he is okay.
Thanks for your belated advice, but maybe someone in a similar situation will read your comment.
Have a lovely holiday. Hugs. Ralph xox ❤

Awww how terrible. I’m so glad you discovered this scheme out when you did. My husband got a call a few weeks back claiming they were the IRS. To make a long story short, we almost fell into their snare. Not until they asked that we make payment over the phone for a couple thousand dollars that I immediately knew it was a scam. My brother later told me that the IRS doesn’t make calls, but sends a letter in the mail. Yet, many have fallen to it, as we almost did. Don’t be so trusting, Ralph! But you probably know that. I can’t believe someone would take advantage of your kindness like that. What a shame! So glad for Paco! Have a lovely week. I’m glad that you are back to being you! Sending you much love & hugs! ❤

Hi Abby 😀 Wow ! What a relief it must have been to catch that IRS scam before any damage was done. I am usually very wary on the internet and phone, but this once I was hooked big time. Never again ! ……….well, until next time ! 😉 Love & hugs. Ralph xox ❤

I’m so sorry Ralph 😥 It breaks my heart to know there are people in the world without a conscience who are so easily willing to hurt the hearts of others. You are such a sweetheart and I am sorry you got hurt and that this person took advantage of your kindness.

Awe Ralph, you are such a sweetie pie and as with your previous commenters it’s a shame that anyone would take advantage of a kind person such as yourself. You can rest easy though in the knowledge that ever though you probably won’t be there to see it “what goes around comes around.” Many think that life is unfair but I beg to differ in that it is fair. You cannot get away with without comeuppance for dastardly behavior.

Just keep on being you and everything will work out in the end. Thank you for sharing your pain.

I would say Paco was lucky you went to the balcony but I believe it wasn’t luck. You were where you needed to be at the appointed time to be a help to Paco.

Hello Stephanae 😀 Welcome to my blog. I have read your very long and Karmatic (if that’s a word !) comment and I agree totally with you. I don’t bear a grudge as it was partly my fault for not realising sooner that I was being taken for a ride. As you say, it will come back and bite them one day.
Yes, Paco was lucky I was at home, or maybe I was meant to be here for him. He’s okay which is good.
I hope you are having a lovely week. Hugs. Ralph xox ❤

You do that… I’m not gonna smack you in the head, I think you got smacked big time

It is how they say, you learn your whole life… Do not give anyone your money if you don’t know them personally. I don’t know how much did she ask, but she probably had a great story why does she need it… If it was a she, not some scam group…

OMG, this is disheartening. This was ‘the girl’ you almost didn’t take your trip for? There are so many terrible scammers in this world. I don’t know how you fell prey to this one, but I am so glad you are out, and no need to be broken hearted over someone that wasn’t real. Your online friends are right here on your blog. The ones you have known for a long time. It’s a scary world out there and I’m glad nothing else happened to you. Now forget about these online scammers, focus on your friends and your blog and enjoy your life. Oh, and, OF COURSE, we still want the details! xoxo ❤ 🙂

Hi Debby 😀 That’s the one ! I am so glad that I went to Israel after all. I am grateful for your backing and wonderful support my friend and I will be posting the details in about 7 hours time. A new day here, a new post ! Ralph xox ❤

I am so, so sorry that this happened to you. I get angry when I think of some awful person taking advantage of such a dear, sweet person like you! But, as the others say, “what goes around will come around.” Somehow, somewhere this awful Tammy will get her due.

I just know there is someone out there for you – keep looking my friend! Hugs to you from across the ocean!

Your pal,
Nancy
P.S. And, yes, please do share the rest of the story if it makes you feel better. Who knows, it may help someone else not be taken advantage of.

Hello dear Nancy 😀
Wow ! You ladies write such long, sensible and supportive comments. I am touched. (In the way of the heart, not of my mind ……… some will disagree I’m sure 😉 )
Who is out there for me ? Who ? Who ? ( I sound like an owl !)
The story will be published in 2 hours time. Can you wait that long ?
Hugs back from across the Pond. Ralph xox ❤

I am sorry to hear about your misfortune with one particular lady. Better you found out before any more money was taken. I am thrilled you are getting back to being you. I have missed the Ralph we know.

I couldn’t post comments, so I asked WP for help. Turns out that I can if I use the Safari Browser instead of Google Chrome. However, when I chatted with Google, they referred me to so repair folks who found that my computer was attacked by a virus and had Trojans. So I agreed to have it fixed, and they fixed the Chrome problem, as you can see above. As soon as I got off the phone, and the technician had no control of my computer, I got a “Sorry this can not be posted.” message again. So long story. I’m trying it on your site because it definitely worked before, when Charlie was with me. So now the big test.

Wow ! That’s a heck of a lot.! This is free, so download and run this everyday. It’s the bees knees. It found 63 nasties that Microsoft Security Essentials didn’t. I run it every day.http://www.malwarebytes.org/

I thought so, but I didn’t want to take my computer in and leave it in Fresno for several days, and I haven’t done anything to it for two years. So it needed to be cleaned up. 🙂 I hope I didn’t get ripped off.

Oooh I’m so sorry for you Ralph, and I didn’t even know, not in first place of the money but about your feelings, they have had a hammer-slag ! But do know that you have a lot of friends who care for you so I hope that you feel better now these days and will be alert for not dating or will be very careful in the future (never send any money, never even it’s Dolly Parton !) These days a lot of nasty persons are around looking for innocent victims and we know that they are unscrupulous bad ! I’m glad you could help Paco and he was very lucky !! Many ciao’s and kisses from Italy ❤

Hello Serach 😀 Thank you so much for your advice. I am too trusting and will probably do the same again, but not online ! Karma will work for both myself and the thief. I am not worried for myself.
Paco was lucky and I am glad he is still okay as I saw him today.
I hope that you and your family are having a great week my friend. Ralph xox ❤

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