Frank Mulligan: Speak, boy! Speak!

Frank Mulligan

Wednesday

Oct 29, 2008 at 12:01 AMOct 29, 2008 at 2:07 AM

(Editor’s note: The greyhound interviewed in the following column is not using his real name for fear of reprisal.) Frank: We feel very fortunate to have this opportunity to interview some … er, some … one, um, an active player, a fellow mammal if you will, who is forced to battle down in the trenches of greyhound racing at the state’s two tracks and speed toward an arbitrary finish line determined by his hominid handlers. Supa Socks: Well, odd mixed-metaphor aside, yes, I am involved in greyhound racing as an actual participant.

(Editor’s note: The greyhound interviewed in the following column is not using his real name for fear of reprisal.)

Frank: We feel very fortunate to have this opportunity to interview some … er, some … one, um, an active player, a fellow mammal if you will, who is forced to battle down in the trenches of greyhound racing at the state’s two tracks and speed toward an arbitrary finish line determined by his hominid handlers.

Frank: Right, but first, let’s discuss Ballot Question 3. As you know, a Yes vote would ban dog racing where betting occurs, effective Jan. 1, 2010, and a No vote would keep things as they are.

Supa Socks: That is correct, a No vote would maintain the status quo.

Frank: If the measure passes, would you be interested in racing in amateur events, keeping the sport alive for the love of the game?

Supa Socks: I’m a competitor, Frank. It’s in my blood. However, the fact that humans won’t make money in such non-wagering events would be a deterrent, I think, and could conceivably cut into their ability to feed me.

Frank: Interesting … is there any human sport that you enjoy watching?

Supa Socks: I’m a huge NASCAR fan.

Frank: Interesting … do you envision a time when all dogs will be allowed to express themselves in their own way rather than be subjugated to human needs?

Supa Socks: I’m not sure I understand. Could you re-phrase the question?

Frank: You know, no more exploiting dogs and employing them in law enforcement, or as companions to the disabled, or for hunting, or pulling a sled on the Iditarod Trail? I mean, that looks pretty cold.

Supa Socks: Well, at the end of the day, I think that’s a decision for the individual dogs involved, frankly.

Frank: Interesting … and if the measure were to pass, what would you do with your extra time?

Supa Socks: I’ve always wanted to learn to play a musical instrument. That might be a pursuit I could sink my teeth into. I’d also like to work with puppies.

Frank: Give back a little?

Supa Socks: Exactly.

Frank: Interesting …

Frank Mulligan is an editor in GateHouse Media Service’s Raynham office and can be reached at fmulliga@cnc.com.

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