THE DARK KNIGHT RISES – had it’s first day of filming today in India, and already there are mysterious pictures from the set showing a green ooze. And the internet is all, “Is that the Lazarus Pit? Is Ra’s al Ghul in this? That’s so stupid, that doesn’t fit the canon, this is Batman in real life! This movie sucks, I hate it!” (latino review)

WHITNEY HOUSTONS DAUGHTER – was arrested for possession of alcohol (she’s 18) after some kind of gun fight between her friends and her ex boyfriend. A shocked and frightened Whitney has heard to ask, “Does anyone know what happened to the alcohol, where is it now?” (the enquirer)

THE OFFICE – had it’s first episode with Will Ferrell replacing Steve Carell last night, and the ratings were down 17 percent. If I were them I’d just keep saying Carell is on it and see how long before people figure it out. (thr)

THOR – has 175 reviews so far, and an impressive 80 percent of them are positive. Although a lot of them sound like Hollywood has lowered our summer expectations to a degree where all you have to do to get a good review is not completely fuck everything up. (rotten tomatoes)

X MEN FIRST CLASS – has a new character trailer, this time for Mystique, who is played by Oscar nominee Jennifer Lawrence. Of course if she was any good she would have won. If Julia Roberts has one, how hard could it really be. (youtube)

LINDSAY LOHAN – began her community service today at a women’s shelter in Los Angeles, although you’re forgiven if you assumed the green ooze in the headline was going to have something to do with her vagina. In your defense we’re still not sure it doesn’t. (inf)

MEL GIBSON – wants his ex girlfriend to produce some evidence to back up her claims, especially the one saying she has dental records proving he knocked out two of her teeth. And I want my ex girlfriend to produce some evidence that she got stationed in Germany. She’s not even in the military as far I know. (radar)

TOY STORY 3 - ruled yet again this weekend, earning another 59 million (total is now 227m). ‘Grown Ups’ was in second place with 40 mill, but ‘Knight and Day’ only made 20.5 million. That movie had a cutesy yet meaningless title, a recycled plot and Cameron Diaz. In hindsight maybe I should say it made an astounding 20.5 million. (bom)

STEVE CARELL – has confirmed that he will leave ‘The Office’ after next season, but the show will continue without him. Seems risky, but personally, I’m 100 percent confident that the show won’t get any less funny. (e!)

KELLY BROOK - is still in Barbados, in the same bikini, but these are new pictures. It’s nice really because this is like a hundred pictures now and I can edit them together and make a little movie. (splash)

Steve Carell returned to the Daily Show yesterday, but if you're like me you didn’t see it because you were at the park shooting the basketball into the hoop and then some minorities showed up and they had threatening hairstyles and so you hid in the trash can for three hours. Those girls were scary.