Ted Cruz Is Running for President of the Teabaggers

As you’ve undoubtedly heard, Ted Cruz has announced his bid to become the Rick Santorum of the 2016 Republican presidential campaign. As 538’s Harry Enten wrote this morning, Cruz is not a serious presidential candidate. He doesn’t have access to money, his platform is way too conservative for the American public, and he has a serious lying problem.

Just watch the speech he gave to announce his candidacy at the top of this post. Cruz framed his announcement like a Bizarro World version of John Lennon’s “Imagine,” in which he proposed his vision for America: no gay marriage, no Affordable Care Act, a foreign policy so aggressive that it would leave the entire Middle East a charred cinder within two weeks of his inauguration. He’s a Teabagger Homunculus, a staggering wad of conservative rage. Only two groups of people take Cruz seriously: the shrinking elderly army of right-wing ragebabies who made up the Tea Party, and the media.

So we’ll see a lot of Cruz for the next year or so, because he and his followers say crazy stuff and the media loves to report crazy stuff, but he’ll be gone by spring of 2016. He’ll probably beat Santorum. He might even do well in the small pockets of the country that reward apocalyptic rhetoric, like Iowa and South Carolina. But he’ll soon disappear from the stage, leaving an uncountable array of think pieces in his wake.

On some level, Cruz has to understand he’s unelectable. So why is he running? It’s not as though Santorum or Gingrich managed to parlay their once-a-frontrunner statuses into positions of leadership in the party. Perhaps Cruz plans on running for governor of Texas someday? Does he think his position as King of the Teabaggers is at risk, somehow? The scariest option is that Cruz is a True Believer, someone who entertains the frightening prospect that the majority of America is just as xenophobic and hateful as him. It isn’t, of course, but what does it say about us that this man is an actual United States Senator? Maybe Ted Cruz’ nightmare fantasy world isn’t as far from reality as we’d like to believe.

Like when (slightly) saner heads on the right propose eliminating regulations to promote clear skies or safer food, leaving minimum wage levels to the private sector to avoid exacerbating income inequality, starting a war to spread democracy, take your pick.

I think it is equal parts grift and hubris. By running he keeps his name alive in the media to help spread is special brand of stupid hate and get gullible rightwing nutjobs to send him money. Above all I think he just likes the attention and the thought of himself as ‘president’ Ted Cruz.

The media would have you believe that 10,000 students turned up to cheer Cruz at his announcement. Turns out that students were required to show up, if they didn’t they were reprimanded and fined, at a place called “Liberty” University, no less.

If I could meet Ted Cruz in person, I’d ask him how does denying abortion and marriage rights, and putting people at risk of being gunned down by a madman with an unregulated military assault rifle, increase their liberty?

Well i8t’s going to be a fun Republican primary. It will be a lot of fun. The money question is important, but it maybe less than some years as it’s going to be a big field. This thing actually could be decided at the convention. Cruz will likely be an also ran, but it’s possible he will be their candidate, Maybe you all should cheer for the man if he’s the guy you would like the democratic candidate to run against. Seems that person is somebody with the name of Hillary, but no announcement yet. Come on Joe throw your hat in the ring we know you want too, stop waiting for the anointed one to begin what could be the most boring primary run for the democratic Presidential in decades. Yawn! The problem being Cruz could take her with this e-mail stuff, and maybe a little bout of whatever caused her to pass out while she was still Secretary of State. That is the question Democrats need to deal with and yes the American people are fickle it’s a hard sell to keep your party in the White House for another term.

Ted Cruz is an evangelical Christian who is anointed as KING to take control of all sectors of society, an agenda commonly referred to as the Seven Mountains mandate, and shall bring the spoils of war to the priests, and thus will bring about a prophesied great transfer of wealth from the wicked to righteous gentile believers. God wants Ted Cruz to be president. God told this to Senator Cruz, and Ted Cruz listens to God.

Imagine a president who is the voice of God, and you are imagining a Ted Cruz presidency.

We should take every opportunity to refer to Senator Cruz as “the republican nominee”. (“So, Senator McConnell, we all assume that you’re fully behind the republican nominee for president, Senator Cruz?” …etc)

“But as of this moment, Texas Senator Ted Cruz is officially running for president, and if we don’t do everything in our power to stop him, the possibility of President Ted Cruz could become a reality.”

So while you are all self flagellating and writing useless commentary above, the “vaulted” DNC takes Ted Cruz seriously! So what kook aid you HA DUMMOCRETIN morons drinking? Puts the stooooooopidity of y’all into perspective. Out of step and feckless as always!

Cruz won’t get the nomination, much less win the election for president. He, and many of the hardcore Republicans, are too much allied with the religious right. Those religious right people are the kind of people that worry about someone is actually doing something to enjoy life for a bit. They can’t stand it because they want everyone’s life to be miserable.

On average Peter King votes DUMMOCRETIN ~40% of the time! Using Peter King as your barometer is a false narrative. Butt then again…, rujaxoffallthetimestillprovingnuthinappears with a brain is a false narrative.

@21 You misunderstand what they want. They want to Rapture as soon as possible. In fact, they’re so impatient for the world to end that it will be cause for serious concern if one of them ever gets the keys to the nuclear football.

Poor senile schismatic IDIOT Wabbit! Puddy is a RELIABLE source. Just because the left wrong kook aid sites didn’t send this to your email box doesn’t mean it’s not TRUE! It really sux to be you senile schismatic IDIOT Wabbit!

Join up and you too can view their direct words. This is why DUMMOCRETINS like you are LIVs. Can’t search the web and read it yourselves? Just

Puddy always is ready to help buttheads like the senile schismatic moron known as the IDIOT Wabbit…read and weep

President Ted Cruz.

If you’re like us, ________, just reading that phrase probably sent shivers down your spine or produced a pretty serious roll of the eyes.

But as of this moment, Texas Senator Ted Cruz is officially running for president, and if we don’t do everything in our power to stop him, the possibility of President Ted Cruz could become a reality.

So here are three things everyone needs to know about wannabe President Ted Cruz:

-He led the GOP’s government shutdown, costing the economy a staggering $24 billion, as part of a personal crusade to take away quality health care from millions of Americans and give control back to the insurance companies. -He has obstructed everything from raising the minimum wage to paycheck fairness to immigration reform. -He would give corporations and the richest Americans huge tax breaks, at the expense of working Americans. Here’s what you can do to fight back right now — become a Factivist, and commit to spreading the word about Ted Cruz and his fellow Republicans:

So once again Puddy proves you HA DUMMOCRETINS are more left wrong that the left wrong types at the DNC. In fact, you members of Goldy’s NorthWest Division of Lunatic Moonbat Libtards are not even in the same ball park anymore. You fools have left the arena, got into your car and drove 5 hours somewhere and then screamed your BULLSHITTIUM! So wrong for so long even now you aren’t even lock step with the DNC. They see a Ted Cruz reality while you all sit at your computers and FART nasty shitstains in threads!

You really need help with that early onset senility senile schismatic IDIOT Wabbit! Each day it’s getting worse an worse! Youare becoming more of a shell of what you used to be here on HA! Really feel sorry for ya!

Jeez. You guys are still going at it after all these years. Get married already.

The NYT had a nice article on Cruz describing his career and rise. By all accounts he started as quiet, smart, and wonky. His colleagues in TX and DC remember him as being on the pragmatic side of conservative.

After 2010, he found himself born again as The King of the Tea Party.

Realistically, he has no chance. Love him or hate him, he has built his short, happy career as a disruptive bomb thrower. Bomb throwers don’t get elected president, and his track record is too long and too well documented for him to walk back and find his inner pragmatist.

Pud, you’re on the DNC mailing list for exactly the same reason I’m not. They traffic in hysteria. “DEATH! DOOM! RUINATION! AROUND THE CORNER! UNLESS! YOU! SEND! MONEY! NOW!”

@9 Ted Cruz is dumb, but if you think passing gun laws is going to somehow force “Madmen” into following them, I don’t think you quite know what a Madman is, they certainly aren’t law abiding citizens.

You probably think that nobody smoked pit until Colorado and Washington legalized it too right?

“…At each stage, Ted did seem to collect a quite small but core group of friends/followers, mainly people who were deeply in tune with his politics (he was as rightwing on day one at college as he is today) and who took what most found to be his assholery as a form of take-no-prisoners conservative badassdom. Indeed, if you think this is an issue of whom I talked to, just like-minded people maybe, consider this: It perfectly mirrors what’s happened over the last year in the Senate. Cruz has a small handful of followers in the Senate; but basically everyone else in his Republican caucus despises him.

Perhaps not surprisingly, Ted was a big, big deal in the hyper-competitive and – c’mon – somewhat ridiculous world of college debate. So again … let’s not even belabor it. “Ted?” “Unbelievable A#*hole.”

Over the last few months I did some poking around too in Ted’s last past his late 20s. Unlike his college and law school years when I had tons of mutual acquaintances I could go to, here I had fewer. But the gist was the same.

And this is why I’ve been saying since Ted Cruz replaced Michele Bachmann as the King of the Tea Partiers that the reaction to Cruz in the senate is simply the reaction Ted’s gotten at least at every stage of his life since he arrived at college in 1988. An incredibly bright guy who’s an arrogant jerk who basically everybody ends up hating.”

When you are a libtard HA DUMMOCRETIN like rujaxoffallthetimestillprovingnuthinappears, the two paragraph rule doesn’t count. Puddy follows the rules..

The Left’s animosity toward Cruz is approaching hysterical levels not seen since John McCain chose Sarah Palin as a running mate. His oratorical prowess and Ivy League pedigree have stunned some liberals, whose natural instinct is to smear popular conservatives as anti-intellectual, but it hasn’t stopped a number of prominent journalists and politicians from hurling some rather deranged criticism.

“If Ted Cruz is really a Canadian, we are building a fence on the wrong border,” Roger Simon, the chief political columnist for Politico, tweeted on Tuesday. “Awesome!” replied former Democratic Senate candidate and Obama basketball buddy Alexi Giannoulias.

Then the race baiting from other DUMMOCRETINS is very apparent about being a his panic on the conservative side. Richardson is displaying his panic over Ted being hispanic!

I see the Piddles is trying various bersions of the “They’re scared of Ted Cruz….” drivel.

Just like Democrats were scared of McCain (the nations foremost cranky also-ran) Sarah (The nations craziest Governor quitter) and scared of Mitt and scared of Paul “Hey my budget numbers work” Ryan (The nations foremost never going to be president genius).

Yeah, Ted has me just quaking. He’ll carry Texas…probably and then where else? What’s his path to 270? How does Ted change the map from 2012 or does it still look pretty much the same?

Now that Ted Cruz’s wife has taken unpaid leave from her Goldman Sachs job, the Cruz family no longer has employer-paid health insurance, so Cruz told CNN today he’ll take advantage of the Obamacare benefits available to members of Congress — while, at the same time, calling them “illegal.”

Roger Rabbit Commentary: I’d bet money Cruz wouldn’t pass up a draft exemption or deferment, either. Cruz was military age at the time of the first Gulf War. We didn’t have conscription anymore then, but if we did, I’ll bet he would’ve said, “You can’t draft me; I’m a Canadian citizen.” (Cruz didn’t renounce his Canadian citizenship until about a year ago.) You know, just because he wasn’t draftable, doesn’t mean he couldn’t serve. He could’ve chosen to enlist. But like any sensible child of privilege (his parents were owned an oilfield services business), he chose Princeton and Harvard Law instead. Now he wants to start a war with Iran, and you can bet he won’t send his two daughters to fight it. The body bags will be filled by minority kids from America’s ghettos — the same people that Cruz and his ilk want to take health care and food stamps away from. If there was a character test for being POTUS, and there doesn’t seem to be, Cruz would flunk.

@48 “I see the Piddles is trying various bersions of the ‘They’re scared of Ted Cruz….’ drivel.”

Not nearly as scared as they are of Hillary. The only thing that frightens them more than a n***** in the White House is a b**** in the White House. They’re so scared of that, they’d even vote for an immigrant (Cruz).

@27 Ok maybe an asteroid wiping out life on earth is more likely than Ted Cruz getting nominated and elected. Still weird things happen in American politics like a particular Haberdasher becoming President and later winning an election and then there is Hayes, Imagine no candidate winning the electoral college outright, and suddenly who folks vote into Congress matters. Fortunately or Unfortunately we are not a parliament if so John Boehner would be in the office that matters unless we forego having a Prime Minister. Only in France can the President have more power than the Prime Minister under certain circumstances including being Charles De Gaule.

@54 Oh c’mon, Mark, we all know who really runs this country. Edith Wilson was America’s first woman president (or, at least, the first one we know about); she stood in for Woody after he was incapacitated by a stroke. Presidents Eleanor Roosevelt and Nancy Reagan also stepped in for ailing and drooling, respectively, husbands. Of 2016 candidates, Hillary is the most experienced as she’s already been co-president.

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