What a Day ... When Everyday is like this ...

Saturday, May 12, 2012
Hiba Moeen
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It's the start of yet another depressing day ... I never felt so redundant after getting done with my business school that I feel now ... yes these boring, dull and depressing days when I don't know the purpose of my presence at places that I go to ... at locations ... may be even in life.

When I walk ... I keep walking without any need to stop and observing anything around, I juts want to go on without giving a damn for anything. I'm so lost in my own head that I even forget what I said or did the same day, sometimes even 5 minutes ago. My dreams are recaps of this same reality that I don't want to wake up to ... Gone are the days when I was so productive during my Thesis last semester and even till February ... sleeping even for 7 hours a day used to be like over sleeping but all I do now after going home is sleep and not wake up ... sleep for as long as I want to and then I wake up with a heavy and reluctant head.

Why is this all happening? Why have I lost interest in things that were once interesting. It's all so weird, people revealing their true faces since a long time and getting to recognise them is so disturbing ...

Why am I even writing this out of my sheer boredom, this is a public blog ... Well, my intention is not to seek any attention but rather vent out my frustration, it's such a heavy head that needs to explode. Education is what you need, then a good career is what you need next and then your wants and needs keep increasing and yes BOREDOM is what's a big killer ... There is no point in making new friends, there is no need because why accept a new person in life as a friend when he/she leaves one day. It's good to have a select few and go on with them.

The best thing is not to mingle much with anyone and keep conversations to the point but then when you don't talk a lot, it creates problems too. A good nature is what you need, not a very talkative one. I might not talk a lot but I do have ears and I can listen to alot happening around ... oh the so called 'sense of ownership'. I have decided not to be loyal with anything in life because I'm a human being not a dog. I used to be loyal to a lot around but there is no use in this world because everyday is yet another depressing day especially when you think you can be loyal to something.

Now what have I written ... consequences of this? I stopped caring a long time back. I don't cross bridges anymore and I don't burn them when I know drowning is all you have destined for you ... there has to be a cure but there is none ...