Thursday, December 27, 2012

Once again we have
decided to do another debate on “Confessions of a Film Junkie”; this week’s
topic is what is the “Best Roaring Twenties Gangster Film”? Me and another critic will face off and
present our sides of what we feel is the Best Gangster film to be set in “The
Roaring Twenties”—the birth of the American Gangster Genre. The other writer is a good friend and a
writing mentor of mine, Lauren Ennis. So
Enjoy and as always don’t forget to lets us know who you felt was more
right.

Once Upon a Time in America: By Brian
Cotnoir

Italian Director
Sergio Leone’s 1984 film “Once Upon a Time in America” may not be as popular
and successful as other Gangster films such as “The Godfather” or “Scarface”,
but it is not only Leone’s finest work, but quite possibly the Best Gangster
film ever. Now before I continue I want
to give you a little background. The
film is based off a novel called “The Hoods” by Harry Grey, and the original
Screenplay written for this film was 317 pages long (which translate out to
over 4 1/2 hours of film material).
Leone was forced to make a lot of cut to the film and the film was
eventually settled at a running time of roughly 3 hours and 45 minutes. There were even more cuts made for the U.S.
release and the films average running time in America was 2 hours and 19
minutes. Because of all these cuts to
the film many critics hated the film when it was released in the U.S. Some critics even called it the Worst film of
1984, and years later when they saw the “uncut” version their opinions changed
and some called it the Best Film of the Decade.
So for argument purposes, in this debate, the version of the film I am
talking about is the one that is 3 hours 45 minutes long, which I believe is
the best cut of the film abridgments.

Robert De Niro & James Woods play
the adult versions of Noodles & Max

So
as I said “Once Upon a Time in America” is based off of a novel called “The
Hoods” and it details the lives of 5 boys growing up in the Jewish Ghetto New
York City, and eventually how they became involved in Organized Crime, and
their rise up success. The story to the
film is told in flashback form and stretches all over from 1920-1968. I know that this is supposed to be a best
“Roaring Twenties Gangster” film and the 1960’s don’t really count, but most of
the film is set in the Prohibition Era and the scenes set in 1968 are there to
help set up the flashbacks. The two main
characters in the film are two friends David “Noodles” Aaronson (played by
Scott Tiler as an adolescent and Robert DeNiro as an Adult) and Max Bercovicz
(played by Rusty Jacobs as an adolescent and James Woods as an adult). I really like how it shows how the
friendships of the Noodles & Max started back when they were young
teenagers and show they got involved in organized crime and became notorious
gangsters. This film takes its sweet
time introducing its characters and letting them develop and it definitely
shows that Sergio Leone put a lot of thought into how each scene was going to
play out and how the adult actors would have to reflect the version of their
younger selves portrayed by the child actors and visa versa.

12-year-old Jennifer Connelly makes her big screen debut
in "Once Upon a Time in America" as Young Deborah.

Robert DeNiro
& James Woods this film also features a plethora of other famous actors and
actresses such as Elizabeth McGovern, Tuesday Weld, Joe Pesci, James Russo,
Danny Aiello, and this film was also the big screen debut for a young actress
by the name of Jennifer Connelly. All
the characters in the film have unique and interesting stories and it’s great
that we get to see them as both adolescents and as full grown adults. Besides the acting and the cast, I have
to say my favorite thing about the film is the sets. I swear the sets and the scenery in this film
are phenomenal, it’s like director Sergio Leone took the cast & crew back
in time and actually shot the whole film in the real “Roaring Twenties”.

Director Sergio Leone, working out the details of the
scene with the cast of "Once Upon a Time in America"

“Once
Upon a Time in America” truly is a great film and does not get a lot of the
credit and recognition that it deserves.
This was the last film that Sergio Leone ever directed and it is also
the film that he put the most work into and all his hard work, dedication, and
persistence shows in this film. To this
date this is the only film over three hours long that I can sit through and
watch and be constantly entertained, but remember only see the version of the
film that says “Color/229 Minutes” on the back because if you watch any of the
other abridged versions of this film you will probably be disappointed.

The Roaring Twenties: By Lauren
Ennis

The Gangster film is a genre which
is uniquely American in its ability to utilize the ethnic identities, family
loyalties, and financial ambition that came to define American life in the
transformative years following the First World War. The modern gangster film is
often characterized by a reverence for its criminal protagonists and disdain
for the ‘sucker’s’ that they are able to dominate. Compared to modern, now
formulaic, depictions of the mob subculture as one of grit and glamour, it is ironically one of Hollywood’s earlier
efforts that remains unique. The 1939 film The
Roaring Twenties portrays Prohibition era gangsters and the world that they
inhabit with a complexity and honesty that sets it apart from other gangster
films in both the modern and studio eras.

The film opens not in a
back-alley joint or criminal hideout, but instead in a fox-hole in France
during World War I. The opening scenes introduce a trio of friends who will
later find their paths crossed with tragic consequences when they return to the
States. James Cagney’s performance as
the protagonist, Eddie Bartlett, is a perfect example of his naturalistic acting
style. In Cagney’s hands Bartlett is both passionate and practical; an average
American whose life is turned upside down by the extraordinary times in which
he is struggling to survive. After celebrating the Armistice with friends
George (Humphrey Bogart) and Lloyd (Jeffrey Lynn), Eddie returns home to a
country that has moved on without him. In America, Eddie makes ends meet
driving a cab and comes into contact with brash bootlegger Panama Smith,
(Gladys George in a portrayal based off of notorious nightclub hostess Texas
Guinan) who offers him entrance into an alternative world of easy money and
fast living. With her help, Eddie eventually builds himself a successful
business, which he later enlists his old war buddies into joining.
Complications follow when ruthless George tires of playing second fiddle to
Eddie and Lloyd strikes up a romance with chorus girl Jean (Priscilla Lane),
the object of Eddie’s unrequited affection.

Perhaps the most striking aspect of
this film is the fact that it was inspired by the real events and people that
screenwriter Mark Hellinger encountered during his time as a reporter. Because
the film is inspired by reality, it follows a realistic plot line which
ultimately results in the demise of the gangsters and their way of life after
the fall of Prohibition. Prior Warner Brothers’ films generally portrayed
gangster’s as one of two things, either a ruthless psychotic or, more often, a
tough kid hardened into a criminal by society. The Roaring Twenties does its characters justice be refusing to pigeonhole
them into either category, and instead allows each character to act based upon
his personal motives and moral code. For instance, while Eddie is forced into
crime by economic circumstance, he and privileged lawyer Lloyd are hardly
social victims. Similarly, Bogart’s villain, although ruthless, acts according
to logic and reason.

Actors James Cagney (L) & Humphrey Bogart (R)

The
film also does excellent work in its depiction of female characters. On the
surface, Panama and Jean represent opposite sides of the traditional Hollywood
spectrum; the brassy bad-girl and the pure heroine. As the film progresses,
however, both women are proven to be more complicated than audiences may
initially suspect. Although Panama puts up a tough front while acting as ‘one
of the boys’ in Eddie’s operation, she is one of the only characters to display
true tenderness when she stands by Eddie after his business collapses in 1929.
She also demonstrates a sense of self-sacrifice when she steps aside and asks
him to help former flame Jean at the end of the film despite her own feelings
for him. Similarly, Jean proves herself to be a dynamic character as she grows
from Eddie’s wide-eyed admirer to a shrewd woman. Priscilla Lane portrays
Jean’s moral conflict between condemning Eddie’s criminal lifestyle while
simultaneously enjoying its benefits in such a way that audiences are more
inclined to identify with than criticize her.

Thus,
while it may not possess the flashy ‘shoot ‘em up’ style of its later
counterparts, I whole-heartedly recommend The
Roaring Twenties as one of the most realistic and honest gangster films.
The film’s combination of realism, excellent performances, and snappy dialog
will keep viewers engaged despite its more restrained style and black and white
cinematography. The film also provides movie buffs with a snapshot of James
Cagney at the prime of his career as the king of Warner Brothers’ ‘Murderer’s
Row’, and Humphrey Bogart on the verge of making his mark as the poster-boy for
film noir. Just try and watch that final scene without getting a tear in your
eye, ‘big shot’.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Holy Shnikes! The film I’ve decided to review this week is
so bad that it makes “ThanksKILLING” look like “The Artist”. You see there’s a fine line between
stretching the truths of reality and full on jumping the shark. Though, I
should have realized that this film was going to be a huge heaping pile of pig
excrement when I saw that the two biggest and most notable stars in your film
are BeetleJuice and Porn Legend Ron Jeremy.
Brace yourselves, the film I’ve chosen to review for this week is “Girls
Gone Dead”.

This Film is 31 Flavors of Fail (and they're all terrible)

So the plot of “Girls Gone
Dead” goes like this: A group of 6 cheerleaders, decide to go Florida for
Spring Break. One of the girls, Rebecca,
lives at home with her unreasonably devout Christian mother, who is like the
mom from the movie “Carrie” except 100 times more crazy. Rebecca’s mother begs her to not go away on
Spring Break, but Rebecca decides that she wants to go out with her friends and
have a good time. The six friends
reunite in Manatee Creek, Florida, but as it just so happens, the week they
decided to go on vacation there is a serial killer, dressed as a Medieval Monk,
on the loose who goes around murdering young, pretty, hard-partying girls. Will all the girls make it back to their homes
alive or will the “Purification Monk” send them to an early grave?

This Film is pretty much a spoof of the movie “Piranha” (with a
subtle twist of “Carrie” and “Halloween” added to the mix). Only problem with this is that “Piranha” was
already a spoof of another movie, and making a film a spoof of a film that was
already a spoof is just stupid! Not to
mention really lazy. All of the jokes and pop-culture references aren’t
funny and they don’t make any sense.

I’ll
break it down to you like this: This summer I watched a movie on SyFy channel
called “Jersey Shore Shark Attack”. All
it was, was the movie “Jaws” set in New Jersey with a bunch of actors who were
pretending to be the cast of the MTV show “Jersey Shore”. “Jersey Shore Shark Attack” was funny because
it was making fun of “Jaws” and “Jersey Shore”.
Compare that to “Girls Gone Dead” where they were making fun of “Girls
Gone Wild”. The big problem with that is nobody outside of College Frat Boys
likes, or even watches, Girls Gone Wild.
At least with the “Jersey Shore” there are people who like the show and
will defend it against people who say it’s a “stupid” or “bad” show, but not
“Girls Gone Wild”. You will never hear
anyone refer to “Girls Gone Wild” as quality
entertainment.

This Girl is a Horrible Actress (emphasis on the 1st syllable)

I
swear the way this film probably came to be was that the films two directors,
Michael Hoffman Jr. and Aaron T. Wells, wanted to get some College Girls to
take their clothes off so they promised them they could be a Horror Movie, and they actually made
this film to have fun at a bunch of wannabe actor’s expense. That’s just the vibe I got from watching the
movie, and you know what I bet I’m not too far off on what was the film’s
original intention. This Film is
probably set in the alternate universe where nobody’s I.Q. exceeds 75, and every
couple of sentences has to include the term “F*ck Yeah, B!tches! I think the
films directors, actors, and crew should all just go back to doing what their
good at—making low-budget porno’s, and leave the filmmaking and acting to the
professionals.

Oh Yeah, ProfessionalWrestler Jerry "TheKing" Lawler is in it to

“Girls Gone Dead” has cheesy special effects, horrible
dialogue, and even worst acting, and should not be viewed by anyone under any
circumstance whatsoever. If you’ve
learned anything from this review it should be to skip “Girls Gone Dead” and go
check out “Jersey Shore Shark Attack”.
Seriously people what more could you ask for? I stopped you from wasting two-hours of your
life on this horrible movie, and I recommended and even better and more
enjoyable film for you to watch instead.
So go do it.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

In October I attended
the horror movie convention “Rock N Shock” in Worcester, MA. Rock N Shock is your typical fan-based
convention that has merchandise stands, a film festival, and Meet N Greet
sessions with celebrities. This year’s
convention had a slew of great celebrities such as Anthony Michael Hall, Sid
Haig, Bill Moseley, Danny Trejo, Peter Criss (drummer of Kiss), and a whole
bunch of other notable celebrities from horror films. One of the celebrity guests I met at Rock N
Shock was an author named Jack Ketchum.
Now, before this convention I had never heard of Jack Ketchum and I have
never read any of his books, but after getting the chance to hear him speak at
the Fangoria Panel and getting to
meet him, I decided to check out some of his work. I’ve found out that some of his novels have
gotten adapted into film , so I decided to to review a film based off one of
his novels; “The Woman”.

"The Woman"

“The Woman” was realeased in 2011, and it
is about a lawyer named Chris Cleek who lives out in the woods with his family,
and one day while on a hunting trip one day he comes across a mysterious feral
woman living in the woods. Mr. Cleek
decides to trap the woman and hold her captive on her property and even
recruits his family to help domesticate
and civilize the feral woman. But are the Cleek’s really the decent and
honest humanitarians they appear to be or do they have some ulterior motives
for why they want to keep this mysterious feral

woman?

This is a great horror/thriller film with a great story,
graphic visuals, and plenty of thrilling twists. I think one of the reasons why I enjoyed this
film so much is that it was co-written by the book’s author, Jack Ketchum. I think films that are adapted from books are
always better when the screenplay is written (or co-written) by the book’s
author, because many of the author’s ideas and opinions from the book make its
way on to the screen. I would say this
film (and the novel to) should proudly boast that it features the Most Dysfunctional
Family you will ever see in a film. I really like how the father in the film,
who is this total sadist, expects complete obedience from his family and will
settle for nothing less than total perfection. In some ways I saw this
character as complex and interesting and I would actually say that his
character is similar to that of Alex DeLarge from “A Clockwork Orange”. I also like how we are introduced to the rest
of the Cleek family. There is little
dialogue spoken by the family early on in the film, and instead the film just
uses the atmosphere to let you get a full understanding of the character, which
in my opinion is a lot better than having all the characters be introduced
through an exposition.

The Most Dysfunctional Family that I've ever seen in a film, The Cleeks.

I
also really enjoyed the soundtrack to the film which features Original Music
written by Sean Spillane. The songs of
Spillane really take “The Woman” from already great film and propel it to
Freaking Fantastic film. If you’ve never heard of Sean Spillane, then you
should definitely check out his music; especially his songs “Distracted” and
“Patient Satellite”, which both appear in the film.

However, there are some minor faults with
the film.Even though I liked the
character Mr. Cleek, I did not really like the actor who played him.I don’t even remember the name of the actor
who played him in the film because for most of the film I was just referring to
him as “Not Quite John C. Reilly” because that’s who is acting reminded me of.He was not scary, he was not terrifying, he
was just quirky, neurotic, and massively anal retentive, and I just feel he
didn’t do his character any justice with his portrayal.He starts out as this nice calm Mr. Cleaver
from “Leave it to Beaver”, and he just sort of stays at that same tone
throughout most of the film.Even most
of the parts when his character acts violent he just has that same calm
cheerful demeanor on his face, and I just did not think that he was a great
acting choice.I also did not like the
way the oldest daughter, Peggy, was written in the film.In the film she just comes off as the
emotional basket case, and really not a ton of signs as to why she acts the way
she does, which is pretty mysterious, but the reveal at the end just sort of
came out of nowhere, and it was not like I said “Oh, wow what a shocking
twist”, my actual reaction was “Are you serious? That’s all.”

Oooh, now that sure does look unpleasant

This
film has twists, it has blood, it has gore, it has rampage, and ending that
will just leave you with a ear-to-ear smile. I am regretting not buying a
signed movie poster of “The Woman” at Rock N Shock, and if Jack Ketchum comes
back again next year, I will make it my mission to get one from him.

So do yourself a favor and see this
film. Horror movie fans I guarantee you
that you are just going to really like “The Woman”.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

The name of the film
I’m reviewing this week is “Troll 3”...Sorry, I meant “The Crawlers”...or is it
“The Creepers”? “Contamination
.7”??? No, I meant “Troll 3”! Holy crap!
This film has so many damn different titles that it’s really making it
difficult for me to explain why the movie I’m reviewing this week was so
awful! I mean...okay let me explain why
this is so awful.

The "Italian Ed Wood" himselfJoe D'Amato

A long, long time ago (twenty years to be
precise) there was an Italian Filmmaker/ producer named Joe D’Amato. D’Amato produced a number of Italian
exploitation films in the 1980’s and 1990’s, but besides that he is known for
taking other filmmakers ideas and completely ripping them off in the worst way
possible. Unfortunately, for Mr. D’Amato
he didn’t choose to rip off Good
films, like “The Godfather” or “Star Wars”.
Instead he decided to rip off films that most people would consider box
office failures such as “Cannibal Holocaust”, “Caligula”, and “Troll”. He even wrote the “Unofficial Sequels” to
many of these films, such as “La Casa 3” which D’Amato claims is supposed to be
the 3rd Sequel to Sam Raimi’s “Evil Dead” films and “Caligula 2”,
which is supposed to be the sequel to “Caligula”. I have no idea how the hell
he can make a sequel to “Caligula”, considering they murdered Caligula at the
end of the film! *I felt no need to put in a “Spoilers!” warning for that because unless
you are a Cine-Masochist like myself, then you’ll probably never actually see
the film* But the most notorious
film linked to Joe D’Amato has got to be “Troll 2”; a film that has absolutely
nothing to do with the 1986 American film “Troll”. “Troll 2” is what many people today (myself
included) consider to be the Best Worst
Movie ever made. “Troll 2” actually
has developed a cult following over the years that consists of people who
appreciate the corniness and shear awfulness of the film, and find it to be
hilariously enjoyable. “Troll 2” is
probably the Ultimate Guilty Pleasure for most people today. The reason why, I think it personally did so
well is because Joe D’Amato had very little to do with this film. He didn’t direct it, he didn’t write it, and
his only credit to the film was as a producer.
Three years later D’Amato released, what many cult movie fans have
called “Troll 3”, even though many of the film posters have it titled as either
“The Crawlers” or “Contamination .7”.
Just like in “Troll 2”, “Troll 3” has nothing to do with the 1986
“Troll” film. Hell, “Troll 3” doesn’t
have much of anything to do with “Troll 2”, but I digress.

So
the plot to “Troll 3” is that somewhere in the Pacific Northwest, a Nuclear Power
plant has been dumping its toxic waste into the forest. The nuclear waste begins to effect the trees
and they come to life and begin to murder everyone who comes near them...Holy
Crap...did M. Night Shamylan actually rip off this film? I think he did! That’s probably why “The Happening” sucked so
much; it wasn’t just him casting Mark Wahlberg!
M. Night Shamylan ripped off
“Troll 3”! But wait a minute. “Troll 3” was already a rip off of “Troll 2”,
and “Troll 2” was a rip off of “Troll”?
Dear Odin in Asgard, when will the seamlessly never ending cinema rip
offs end?! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

All
right, so now I bet you’re all wondering now after that giant-ass rant/meltdown
how bad is it? You know what; I think
it’s only a little bit worst than “Troll 2” and the two of them share a lot of
similarities.

Both Films:

1.)Were filmed in Porterville, Utah

2.)Had an all Italian film crew, and cast the town’s
residents in the film

3.)Acting from the film ranged from really underplayed
to Really over played

4.)Had NO Trolls in the film

a.Troll 2 had “Goblins”

b.Troll 3 had killer trees.

5.)Horrible special effects

6.)“Americanized” Dialogue (I.E. they were made to say
everything written down on script word-for-word, because that’s how the Italian
film crew believed that American’s actually talked)

7.)PLOT HOLES

a.Troll 3: Leaving in Day Time and arriving at Night
time.

b.A boy (Matt) jumped into the river with all of his
clothes on only to be shown completely dry as he walked out.

However, unlike “Troll 2”, which has a cult-following and is
actually a lot of fun to watch, “Troll 3” is really bad. For one thing, in “Troll 2” there were
goblins in the film (because the original title of the film was “Goblins”, not
“Troll 2”) and that’s fine because a troll and a goblin are like Monkey &
Ape. In “Troll 3”, there are no trolls,
there are no goblins there are just killer trees! For crying out loud if you’re going to call a
film “Troll 3” at least humor the audience and give us something like a
radioactive Dwarf-Leprechaun hybrid.

Paula (Left) The Town Slut To the Rescue!Matt The Hero Pictured Center andlooks just as bored as ever.

The cast in this film is just
awful. Jason Saucier who plays, the hero of the film’s other acting credits
include a lot of exploitation films such as “Top Model”, “Whore”, and “Three
for One” and he has worked with notorious Hollywood directors Bruno Mattei (as
well as being featured in other films directed by Joe D’Amato). Jaymzlinn Saxton (I sh!t you not that’s how
her name is actually spelled) plays the role of Paula, the town whore, whose
occupation seems to consist of sitting in a bar all day long and offering sex to
every man that walks in and sits within three feet of her. Paula is looked down by the other residents
of town, but manages to redeem herself as she is strangled/raped to death by
one of the killer trees while rescuing a little boy from a similar fate. Finally, the worst actor in this film has to
be Vince O’Neil who plays the towns corrupt
Sheriff. How should I put this: O’Neil’s
is so incompetent and unfunny that he makes Chief Wiggum from “The Simpsons”
look like Sherlock Holmes! His acting is
so bad that he makes Tommy Wiseau look like a Shakespearean actor!

This guys acting makes Tommy Wiseau look like a real actor

I
think it goes without saying that nobody in their right mind would actually
like or want to see this film. The only
people who I can think of off the top of my head that could actually sit and
watch this whole film are people who are fans of “Troll 2” or people who are
looking for a selection for “Bad Move Night”.
I could just go on-and-on about everything wrong with this movie, but I
don’t want to waste any more of yours (or my) time.