All my random thoughts…

Tag Archives: depression

This is a beautiful story, and one that needs to be heard many times throughout the world!! Please take your time to read this, without passing judgement. If you have encouraging words for this blogger, please leave them on the original post.

I have come across the inspiration, again, to write about something that is extremely hard for me to write. It is real. It is painful. It is something that I am scared to tell you about.

It is a secret that I have kept for too long. It is a secret, that deserves to be shared. Hopefully, hopefully you can look past what I have done, and hear the message behind what I have learned.

As hard as this is, I know it needs to be done. My actions have directly caused the pain of one man in this world, and that’s not fair. My not talking about it, indirectly causes the pain of every single man in this world, that is just like this one man that I hurt so badly.

My courage to speak up. The small amount of courage that I have mustered up, is completely thanks…

She was the kid who you passed in the hallway, but seconds later you couldn’t recall anything about. You might even doubt you saw her at all. You heard her name, you knew it, but there was no face with it. There was a blur, a shadow. That’s all she was, a silhouette. Each day fading more and more.Read the rest at:Sam vs. The Angels.

Like this:

I’m breaking the blogging rules today by even writing anything.. The rule that says not to post when upset, angry, etc.. I just feel I need to write and get it out.

Why, just when I feel things are going great, does everything seem to blow up in my face?? Do I just not have enough faith? I don’t want to sound like a poor pitiful me type but damn sometimes it’s just so hard! All I want is to be my normal happy, optimistic self; where did she go and when can I expect to see her again?? That’s all I want to know. I started the year thinking this was it, it was going to be my year! I honestly believed it would be! I could see my family’s future and it was beautiful! Now, these past few days esp, all I see is more of the same, depressing life. Nothing seems to be going right. All I want is to have a happy family, in our own space, and to raise our children in a happy, loving home. I want to instill in them that life can be what you make it. It can be great, if that’s what you thrive for. How can I do that if I don’t feel that way? How can I force myself to see the good that has to be there somewhere? It seems lately that everywhere I turn is another huge wall or obstacle that I can’t see over or around and I have no idea how to conquer it. Why is life so hard?? I know that we all ask ourselves these things occasionally and that makes me feel like a whiny, spoiled brat. But how do you overcome the hardships? How do you restore balance and happiness in your life when you honestly just can’t see it ahead of you? I try so hard to please my husband and be the best mom ever, but I feel like I fail miserably, almost on a daily basis. I do understand that a lot of our circumstances are of our own making, but I desperately want to turn it around, I just can’t see how.

So here’s to anyone out there hurting over anything and feeling stuck in a rut that just seems to grow bigger instead of showing any sign of escape.. May you all find the happiness that you all deserve! I know in my heart that God has all of this and all I have to do is have faith that things will get better, implementing that knowledge and faith in my own life is proving to be my Achilles heel!

Trust me, I've been there, I've looked, I've searched and I know now, that there are no answers to be found in the bottom of a bottle or on the edge of a blade! Fighting Hard, Recovering, Rebuilding, REBORN. Moving on from addiction to a new life.