Dear Vroom Vroom, I hate you but I love you so much!

I’ve come to the conclusion that I have a love/hate relationship with Manny Mandingo (that be my car). Some days I wonder in horror what kind of life would I live if I didn’t have Manny. While other times I wish he never existed. Why do I have so strong feelings about Manny I shall tell you in the form of a list (oh how I love to make lists).

The following are the reasons why I Love Manny:
1. Homeboy gets me places. Anywhere I want to go he got my back.
2. I love to randomly drive around with the windows down and the music blasting! I only like doing this when its night time and there aren’t a lot of cars in the streets. The less cars the less people judge me when I’m performing for my adoring fans!
3. I love to speed. I just get this rush when I’m going fast… I have moments where I think I’m in Need For Speed or GTA (Grand Theft Auto) and the cops are following me and I have to get away from them so the blinking stars on the top of my screen go away. Ooo good times.
4. Music just sounds better when your aimlessly driving. The only works when there is no one else in the car with you and your just strolling around town and your connecting with the music because at that moment iHeart just knows how your feeling and they put that song that makes you feel things and your just like “Damn iHeart you know me so well it’s like your in my soul.”
5. When I need a place to be by myself and just work my shit out I know I can trust Manny to listen to me either cry, talk shit about my friends or whine about my parents. Manny just understands me like nobody else. The best part is when I’m talking to him nobody really judges me because they probably think I’m just animatedly talking on the phone… Well I hope that’s what they’re thinking.

The following are the reasons I Hate Manny:
1. This mofo makes me pay for his loyalty and friendship monthly!
2. On top of having to pay for him to stay around this mofo expects me to feed him as well. It might only be like once a week, but damn I’m like paying at least thirty bucks to make sure he’s full and sometimes that’s not even enough!
3. Driving when a lot of other people are on the road and being stuck in traffic… Sucks AssCakes!!
4. This thing is like a child not only do I need to feed it, but I also have to give this mofo a bath! Like my laundry I pay for someone else to do it for me.
5. I have very bad road rage because of him and other people! I’ve realized once I started driving I hated people with faces! I have very bad anger/hatred issues because of Manny!

Even after all the crap Manny puts me through I love him more than I hate him, because without my car I wouldn’t be able to get to work, go to the movie theatre, or even go on fun road trips. I love you Manny Mandigo I swear one of these days I’ll get you some gas and take you to get washed… Hopefully sometime this week, you know how lazy I get!

Love Ya from the Moon and Back,
Emily ( I’ve become extra lazy, but that’s not only Mannys fault… That just started happening after I got my license and has just become worse because of Manny and Hammy Mocha Baby (my first car).