Will Smith once said that he owns the 4th of July, referring to his impressive Independence Day box office record, not only with the title film’s impressive performance but with most of his summer blockbusters, regardless of how well or how poorly they’re reviewed.

Suffice to say after this weekend, Will Smith not only owns the 4th of July, he now also owns Christmas, with I Am Legend securing the best December opening ever, making Will Smith the most bankable movie star in the business.

This is why Xenu loves Will Smith. Because 30% of Will’s box office is a lot of money. The Church wants his big bank account, the GMD wants his big balls, Will might want some young balls of his own… everybody’s on the same page.
Praise Xenu, ah-Thetan.

Married and mega successful, with several children, but how to account for the gay young things seen coming and going from his trailer during production of his next hit?

They were not part of the crew and they were not there to work… at least not on the film. Word is, he is insatiable and needs variety. Rarely does the same boy visit twice. And rarely are the boys not well taken care of. Though they are not paid professionals, per se, but they are compensated for being pretty and bendy. This is apparently a requirement. All of them have been observed to share the same body type: lean and fresh with short hair and they look like they all “belong in a music video”.

Satisfaction guaranteed on both sides. He gets his and they get trips, clothes, watches, iPods… like a gay holiday year round!

Looks like his trailer activities have not stopped, although now, instead of a revolving door of visitors, it’s just one on the regular – his trainer with whom he has been spending an inordinate amount of time while working on location for an ongoing project, locked alone behind closed doors for hours. Not training. Not even dressed for training.

Curiously enough, he’s taken to entertaining his trainer not in his own trailer but in his co-star’s trailer, foolishly believing their long sessions would go unnoticed.

Not unnoticed. And actually rather shocking for crew members who until now totally believed his fraud.