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Author
Topic: Ladies Thread #42 The more we share, the more we have. (Read 31448 times)

Hello ladies. Today we have rain here. Its supposed to rain off and on all weekend. Its a real treat from the heat. I got home from work this morning and Billy rushes me out to the back yard. Saying "you've got to see this."

Some of you may remember we have a turtle in our back yard that my son brought home from a road trip to Missouri. We don't have turtles like this that live in our area. The only ones I've ever seen are snapping turtles and they look totally different.

Anyway. There was this tiny little turtle on the patio.

This is the one we have had in the back yard. I guess its a she turtle???

I wonder if there are more of those little buggers out there. Gosh I hope the lawn mower hasn't claimed any of them. So aside from the excitement of finding we have another turtle and we have rain thats about it. I'm feeling ok I'm just tired most of the time.

Tendai, I know you arent reading in the weekend. Just hope things have worked out with your bro seeing a doctor. as for dr Evil, I guess hes under an enormous amount of stress like everyone over there, not that it means he can go off like that.

Betty, hope you enjoy the grandkids. Nice about J&A.

Mahalia, its so sad & upsetting about your boss being such a mean bastard.

Hope all you ladies have a great weekend, wherever you are.

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"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Wendy, that is so cute! You probably have a whole family out there..LOL!

Betty, I hope you had a good time with your grandchildren. I wondered the same thing about the piercing but I know there are teachers who have tattoos on their ankles, feet, lower backs, etc. There was a girl who had her nosed pierced at the training I was at and I asked her about it. She said she doesn't wear it at work but she had a pretty good size tattoo on the inside of her wrist. There is no rule against it and I only plan on wearing a very small stud. I guess I will wait and see if anything happens. It is easier to ask for forgiveness...

Mah, That sucks when you work for someone who isn't very nice. Is it bad enough to look for another job?

Tend, sounds like you have a similar thing going on...

Well I had my dr appointment and I will find out the results in a couple of weeks when I go back in. I hate waiting. That's all here.

Oh...have any of you been watching the Olympics? I record them on my DVR and then I can fast forward through the boring stuff..

Wendy, that turtle is really cute. Reminds me of the little ones I used to get at the pet store when I was a kid.

Drag, I hope you have a good weekend as well.

Andrea, I started to watch part of the opening ceremonies for the olypmics; but, my mind was in conflict. I detest China for their human rights violations (Tibet, Tenneman (SP) Square, when the students got mowed down by the army). I decided I wasn't going to watch it for that reason; it probably sounds close-minded, but that's how I feel. I don't think negatively of anyone who watches them though. And yeah, I've seen those really tiny studs people are wearing now in their noses. I have a good friend who's a home health aide who has one.

The day with my granddaughter was excellent. I took her to see "Wall-E." It was such a good movie. The critics are calling it one of the best of the summer-and it's a kid's movie. But it was great. Then we came back to my apartment, and on cable's ondemand movies, "Matilda" was on, so we watched that. I made my granddaughter something to eat, she played on the computer for a few minutes, then her "mom" and brother came to pick her up around 8:15. The school my grandchildren attend had an open house for kids entering preschool for the first time that my grandson and his "mom" went to. She ("mom") said my grandson was extremely shy when they first got there. But, there's a guinea pig in the classroom that fascinated him. And I remember when I was little, going to a church school, they had a couple guinea pigs there also. Anyway, it was a good day. Now I'm broke for the rest of the month (I hate living on disability), but I'm content. So, I hope you ladies all have a good night.

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Hiyajust joining the thread as suggested by ann and betty (thanks girls)

Ok bit of background so you know who I am.

Angel - girlie 32 from UKSteve - male 49 from UK also hee heeBoth found out we were pos about 3 weeks ago.Steve infected about 18 months ago and me sometime within the last 9 months.

Doing ok ish first tests look good, so lets see eh.

Steve is coping much better than me, I end up in tears every other day but I am a cryer, can cry at the slightest thing event adverts on TV lol.

I do have so many questions but i am trying to find the strength to ask them, its like the support group phone number I cant even ring it yet, its so crazy but my confidence has taken such a dive in certain things, which would shock you considering my job choice before the infection lol.

anyway just wanted to say hi and bear with me as a question may pop out of me at some point.

I have missed all of you! I am still bogged down with allergies even though I am taking a Claritin each day now (have been since March). Work was a real bitch this week, I took on too much cause the troublemaker was out on vacation. Next thing I know, my boss calls me into her office bec someone told her I was complaining. I told her what I needed from HER as a boss is someone who delegates and divides work up fairly when someone is on vacation. She looked at me and said I "seemed to be rolling along...." That doesn't mean I was enjoying it! She's concerned that I won't be able to handle the changes coming our way. I'm not the problem, I have a brain and I'm a hard worker, lol.

Anyway, Iceman is great, he told me last night that I will be meeting the kids next month, before the divorce is final. That surprised me but made me feel good. He basically told them I was coming over to watch football and they were fine with it. He is just trying to ease me into their world. I am nervous and want to make a big production out of it, but the oldest will prob be in the basement on the computer and the little one will prob be crawling all over us so we can't watch the game, lol. We'll see how it goes.

I have been very tired lately, but what else is new? Its tough to drive down to work (an hour each way), bust my ass and then get home, being too tired to get groceries. Gas prices have gone down about 50cents here, so I have a little cushion and can actually buy food and things. I just don't go anywhere or buy anything cause usually I can't. I bought a $2 bath towel at Walmart yesterday and was SO excited, lol. It doesn't take much to please ME, hee hee! Its been very tough, but I saved to go get my hair trimmed today. Wait until my hairdresser sees where I cut the brush out of my hair in July, thanks to my niece, lol. Its hidden, but much thinner on that side.

Drag~ So excited to hear about the wedding plans! Gibraltar and then some! Wow! Betty~ How are you doing on the Chantix with the depression issues? God Bless your Mom, it seems like yesterday it was August 10th 2007. Hang in there. Queen~ Congrats on having your own place. You must be able to breathe easy, nothing like privacy! How's the love life, any bites? Win~ My goodness, GF, you have been through SO much and I am so sorry to read of all of the troubles you've been having. I am sending good vibes your way! Snow~ I agree with Betty, I would tell your Dad about your status. No sense carrying that weight on your shoulders anymore if its getting to be too much to bear. Mum and Mini~ Hope you are having fun travels!

To all of my GFs and to the new ones, too, I am going to try to get back into this thread this weekend and keep up! Finished reading "Duma Key" (copyright 2008 for Win) by Stephen King, and have started "Lisey's Story" about a widow, I love King's work.

Welcome to the new members. Nothing new this week but just busy. I worked 5 days last week and am now back and working two more. Such is life. Looking forward to having three days off. Taking my nephew to a baseball game on Sunday with Whitey and his son then taking my nephew home on Monday. Coming home on Tuesday after I take him to his first day of school. He is so excited.

I started this new diet called diet for idiots and you do it for 11 days and then take a break for 3 days then start it again until you reach your goal weight. So far so good. Yesterday was my 11 day and have lost 5 pounds. So now the key will be not to eat a ton of bad food while I am on my 3 day break.

Stevenangel-Welcome and just know that things will get better in time as you learn more about HIV you will learn that it is not a death sentence and its manageable as long as you take care of your self. I remember when I found out it was the the first time in my life that I though how am I going to live like this. Now coming up on three years I rarely thing about it. Where before I thought about it every second of the day. Keep your chin up and we are here for you.

Moon-Well sounds like things are moving right into place with Iceman and his kids. Keep us posted. I remember when I met Whitey's son for the first time. It was great but I was nervous to meet a 6 year old. But things are good and now he is starting to give me hugs good by. I would not worry to much about the oldest child wanting to be on the computer. Most teens or preteens do not want to hang out with their parents let alone with their dad's girlfriend. It will take time for them to get to know you. Just remember be yourself and have fun.

Betty- Glad to see you had a good time seeing Wall-E. I hear it was pretty good. I took my nephew to see Journey To The Center Of The Earth. That was pretty good. I also saw Batman and that was good, but not a kid movie.

Viv- Sound like you and I are on the same track with the Olympics. I have been DVR'ing them as well. I like Gymnastics and Volleyball.

Drag- Hi Drag hope you are doing well.

Winn- I love the picture of the frog and the soccer ball that is great.

Mahalia- Hi Mahalia, I am looking forward to getting to know you better.

Tendai- Your boss sounds like a jerk. See I am lucky mine are so easy going and that sure makes life easier with all of the other drama that I have to deal with. Most of the drama is not with me but my friends and its getting old. I do not mean to sound mean but some of them don't get a clue when it comes to relationships etc.

Well, back to work I go. Hope everyone is doing well and sorry if I missed anyone.

Angel, I'm so glad you've joined us! You're newly diagnosed, so all the crying and worrying etc. is very, very normal. It will get better, I promise. I think I might have told you (not sure); I've been diagnosed since 1989. It is possible to live a long life with HIV. And if you have any questions, feel free to ask us. We're here to support each other.

Cin, I'm still on the Chantix. The depression was because of it being the anniversary date of my mum's death. And wow. I'm so glad you're going to meet Iceman's kids. Don't be too nervous. Things will be alright. My granddaughter always gets on my computer when she's over. I think that's just normal. Enjoy meeting them. I hope we hear more from you, like on a regular basis.

Sun, that diet you're on sounds impressive. I try to stay on a healthy eating schedule during the week and eat "regular" on the weekends. I usually blow it, though, and eat a lot of sweets. I saw "The Dark Knight" also. No, it's not a kid's movie. It sure was good though. Heath Ledger did such an awesome job in that movie. It sounds like your nephew's in your life quite a bit; that's really awesome. Continued good luck with Whitey.

Well, today marks one month without a cigarette. I can't believe it. I don't crave them anymore really. I have a bottle and 1/2 of Chantix left and I'm thinking about stopping that once the other bottle is gone. I'm still exercising every morning (except Sunday) which helps a lot. I can't do any aerobics because of my knees, so I'm trying to do resistance exercises. I wish I had a memebership to the Y, then I'd go swimming. That's what my ortho recommended. I might call them next month or whenever I get money from my school (I think November) and see about getting a membership. Someone told me the Y bases how much one pays on how much one makes. So, I'll see.

I have nothing planned today except going to get some milk later. I might watch one of my movies tonight (probably "Traffic"). I hope you ladies all have a good day.

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

good after ladies hope every is wellIve been dealing with a Hugh amount of weight gain this last year 60 pounds my doctor thinks it is my thyroid still waiting for the test to come in!! but Ive become depressed about it I HATE the way I look and I seem to be projecting my bad self image on to my boyfriend. we had a Hugh fight and he kept asking me what was really wrong I couldn't answer then I started crying about how my clothes don't fit and how he doesn't look at me like he used to. he said that he thinks I'm beautiful. I cried no I'm not I'm fat it was then he said baby your unhappy with the way you look not me you seem to think that if you don't like the way you then how could I but your wrong so you put on some weight that doesn't change who you are. later I started thinking maybe he is right. I have never really been small per say but Ive been an 11 must of my life with my height 5'5 and bone structure that size is good any smaller and I look unhealthy. now I'm a 16/18 which is what my top size has always been I'm big chested now its a size 20/22 I have done everything to lose weight and nothing is working. I know being a psychology major that being happy with who you are is very important. and impacts a Hugh range of your daily life, that said I can't seem to be happy with my body. so I am at a complete lose at how to get through this

Boy talk about perspective... I'm 5'9 and 155 lbs size 10 to 12 depends on who makes it. I am about 20 pounds over my normal weight. The highest I've been was 180. I packed on the pounds around the time my late husband stopped having sex with me. I guess I substituted the lovin for food. Taking the weight back off was easy at first as soon as I started eating normal portions. I took off the first 20 pounds with pretty much no trouble at all. I plateaued at 160 and haven't managed to get too far from that weight since. Most people say I look great the size I am but I know what my norm used to be and want to be that slim again. Its not a big deal but reading other women talk about their weight and their struggles gives me perspective enough to know it isn't so bad being 155 pounds. I know you didn't intend on making me feel ok about myself but you did so thank you Brandy. It sounds like you have a nice guy.

Betty if you lived closer I'd let you use my pool for free. LOL

Sun - I just cant do diets. I will loose the weight but as soon as the diet is over I pack it back on and sometimes even more than I lost initially. I have to change my eating forever not just for a while. I think right now the only way I will lose anymore is if I get off my butt and get some real aerobic exercise. Which isn't likely to happen.

Cindy its good to see you typing at us. Good luck with meeting the kiddos. I enjoyed Liseys story. I need to go to the half price book store and turn in a box of books I have for credit and get me some new books to read. I am currently reading The Unquiet by John Connolly. Its ok, he's no Stephen King or Dean Koontz but its readable.

Angel - Welcome to the ladies area of AIDSmeds. We look forward to getting to know you. Ask as many questions as you'd like. Someone is bound to answer LOL

Andrea - Those turtles are there one minute and gone the next I have no clue where they go or how they are gone so fast. Maybe magic? LOLI do wonder how many of them are out there. I don't think turtles just have one baby at a time.

I think I have gotten used to this new medication the only problems I have had are diarrhea and being tired and those two things are no big deal. I don't have any kids to take care of unless the grand baby is dropped off for an hour or two and I don't have a demanding job that takes alot of my time and diarrhea can be fixed with pills. So I am doing good.

Hey ladies! Just a quick stop in to say Hi! I am not even going to comment on weight...If I pretend it's not there then it isn't? Right? LOL! I don't want to give up the things I like to eat so I am just increasing my activity. When I don't take the dog to daycare I am trying to walk her twice a day. When she is at school I am going to the gym. I just hope when school starts I can keep it up. Enough about that...

It's nice to hear from everyone! I did my laundry and that's it. Oh, I finally bought the Tori Spelling book. I grew up with 90210 so I am kind of fan. It's pretty good so far. She is kind of opening up about her life. It's not what I like to call a "fluff" book. You know the ones that don't require too much brain power, but entertaining.

Weight, meh. I"m 5'9" and I weight 162. I'm in a size 16 pants. I like to be in a size 10 or 12. If I can lose 20 lbs I'd be happy. Of course if I could really lose 30 lbs I'd be happy. My weakness is when I diet for a few days, I really, really crave something sweet. Then I overdo it. I don't quite know how to change that, or even if I should. I remember when I was diagnosed, this nurse told me not to worry if I gained weight, because I would eventually lose it. She was right at the time (remember, this was '89). In 1994 I lost a lot and weighed 80 lbs. And at the time I was 5'10". (Yes I've lost an inch in height). It took a loooooong time to put weight back on. I don't want to weigh 80 lbs again, but I certainly would like to get thinner. If I could follow the Southbeach diet I'd probably do alright.

One of the dilemmas I've had lately is whenever I eat fresh veggies or anything with fiber, my stomach pooches out. Then I can't shit for like 4 or 5 days. There's other trouble too, similar to what I just described. My doctor thinks I may have diabetic gastroporesis. I had to google it; I couldn't find it on wikipedia. All that being said.....

Brandy, are you finished in school? I'm a psych major also. Why should we always feel alright, just because we're psych majors? I know quite a few therapists who are my friends, and they go through their down times. Yeah, I think it's important we like ourselves as we are, but that doesn't mean we're all angels walkin' around singin' a tune all the time.

Wendy, I'm glad you're able to rest. You need to with everything you've been through.

Andrea, sometimes it's good to read books that don't require thinking. I hope you have a nice weekend.

OK, I've said my piece. You ladies have a great evening.

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Hi all ladies ...Thank you for ur welcome im feeling better to knowing that i can talk to u abt anything ..I been busy hnt been intouch for some days...Im originally from zimbabwe residing in uk..Thank once again ladies ..All my love..Zanele

Figured I'd chime in on the weight issue. I am 5'5-1/2" tall and the absolute lowest I dropped was 146 in 1996 after my husband died. I also dropped to 146 in January 2007 after Doofus dumped me after 2-1/2 years. He was the one I was building a house with and then he said he couldn't go through life practicing safe sex with me (I am counting on karma to give him his dose someday....BITE! lol) Anyway, I was working and on my feet a TON and suffering the break-up in Jan 2007 so my weight dropped.

When I met Iceman last fall I weighed 155 and looked pretty good. Lipo gave me nice legs and slender arms, but no ass and a belly to beat the band. That damn belly! UGH! I have since gained and am at 175. This is awful, because all of the weight is in my gut.

In the past, when I finally could get my ass in gear and have a bit of willpower, I would do aerobics 2x a week and see great changes. I could still eat what I wanted and got by. Its tough with the diabetes, but right now I have NO time in the evening cause my commute exhausts me. Also, I am really scared to work out. With all of the balance problems I had last spring and am still dealing with, I feel like I would just tip over. I walked Cheech on a hiking trail a lot last spring when I was unemployed, but they are tearing up the park and putting in a storm water mgmt system.

I dunno, I have found a wonderful man and want to be his star hottie and feel better about myself. I still look good, but I'm just a big girl, I am wearing a tight size 12 and loose size 14 in my jeans. I need to do something, cause at 38, my metabolism isn't gonna jump-start itself.

Maybe I'll try to workout tomorrow and see how I do with the balance thing. All we can do is try, right? I just know I have to get that mojo going, that itsy bitsy bit of willpower and then I'll tie up my sneakers and put my hair up and TRY.

Wish me luck, as I do to all of you. Also, drink 4 32oz glasses of water, 1 before each meal and another through the day until you have to pee like crazy. It'll flush a good 5 pounds off in a matter of days! Maybe I could just do that and skip the aerobics?

Geez Betty 80 lbs ? I thought I was bad LOL Around 1994 I can really remember I was 113 lbs.You get the whispers behind your back. People making comments about how thin you are. My aunt even asked my mom if I was anorexic. LOL

Yeah, I don't want to be that thin again. I carry all my weight in my butt and gut a little bit of it is everywhere else but most of it is the big ole poochy belly. Some of you have seen it. LOL I cant believe I posted that picture of my belly. I do like having a voluptuous booty. Its not wide but its poochy. I have square boy hips. LOL

just checking in... been a great sat yesterday, one of those glorious automn days.

i just found out I missed a deadline for something I really wanted, by 2 days. aaahhhrrr

Betty, One Month yipeee!

Wendy, they lay eggs and maybe just one hatched? I guess an egg could easily go into a lawnmower though I doubt they'd lay it right on the lawn.I dont know how long they'd keep the egg in their belly though.These things can easily be discovered with techonology at my fingertips am just on the lazy side right now.

Cindy, great to have you back and Im sure you'll do wonderfully with the kids once given time to adjust. I hadnt realized ice wasnt yet legally divorced and him wanting you to meet them under these circumstances is a huge flashing sign saying "Im crazy about you and committed too!"

Zanale, Ive a brother in the UK. How long have you been there? Do you like it? I always hate when people ask me if I like the Netherlands, of course I like some things about it, and dislike others, simply b/c being a foreigner is difficult pretty much anywhere but in some places more. Not that I suffer from racism or anything like that but I am an outsider. But I ask anyway....

I haven't yet been in the position to officially & permanently immigrate to a place but it will probabaly happen when I move to Spain with my (future) husband. Im actually scared of it, they dont get half as much immigration as the UK in Spain or even here. Id like to move to London, but with a better weather, less stressful lifestyle and much less crime. I like that they speak English in England. Sounds obvious but becomes very important at some point. I do learn other languages when i have to but its nowhere near my English ability. Im just fed up of being in constant "translation mode". English isn't my first language but at least I can think in English and dont need to translate myself, even if it isnt always native-like level.

Brandy, I have a friend who is poz, and she gained an awful lot of weight esp in her breasts. When i first met her she was very round, a couple months later she got the insurance to pay for a breast reduction proving it was from lipo, and then she lost a lot of the weight, recently I saw her running around in a short dress, she's literally 1/2 what she was. That woman is poz for over a decade and on meds since they appeared.

She is of a similar ethniticity to you and I think lipo/meds just hit people differently when they have different backgrounds. Some people will become more round, other lose weight (I know lipo is more than that but just talking about general appearance). i think its hard sometimes to seperate lipo from weight gain which may or may not be execrburated by the drugs. For instance I met a guy with lipo in his face but he has managed to beat the belly by combining diet and excercise to the point that he had washboard abs. But he definately had lipo issues too. Or with my friend, after the breast reduction which really was to treat the lipo which made them size F or more, she lost a lot of the weight on her own.

Anyway, I know its impossible to fight lipo with conventional means like diet, but I think sometimes people can have lipo AND weight gain all at once. If I hadnt seen these two people I mentioned change profoundly I wouldnt have beleived it.

Me, I am not worried right now about gain, even though like every woman I know I always try to keep in check or lose a few pounds from my thighs and belly, but I'm awfully concerned about loss from my hands and esp my face. Im really obssessing about it sometimes.

So to all the love yourself I would add, also remember, that the cold heartless propaganda industry out there constantly telling you you don't look right is saying that to make tons of money off of our insecurities!

PS Im going rollerblading and I havent done that in ages and the brake on my blade is gone, so wish me luck ladies! am nervous but am gonna do it.

Mucho hugs,

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"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Hi everyoneThis is the first time I have joined the Ladies Thread but have always enjoyed reading them. You are a wonderful bunch!

I can't sleep (yet again!) and so, being early in the morning, I have time to really read them all! I guess this one stuck with me because I have been having big (no pun intended) problems with my weight and just thought it was my age but realise now it is more likely the meds. I used to be quite slim but this past year have put on a lot of weight in my tum (gone from a size 10 to a very tight 14) and breasts (from 34C to 38D) and no matter how well I ate or tried to exercise, just didn't make a difference. Lately I noticed parts of my, traditionally, hefty Scottish legs were looking slimmer, as were my arms and my bum was spreading but flattening (what a wonderful image!). My face has always been small so not a lot of change there. Now, thanks to you ladies, I realise its more likely the meds. Well I have spent a huge amount on exercise equipment ($4.99 on a skipping rope!) and after an exhausting and painful two skips discovered I really, really, really needed a sports bra! Boy, was that painful! Anyway, a little a day will build up to a reasonable exercise and skipping seems to work so many parts of the body. It means I can do it indoors as it is too hot to walk/run outside here in Texas and I quite enjoy it! I also got a Swiss ball - boy was that fun trying to keep myself on that - which is fun also. Hated going to the gym but enjoy this. Wonder how long I will be able to keep it going? Watch this space.

At present have got my stepdaughter (20), my daughter (23) and her fiance all over here from Scotland for a vacation. Have not seen my daughter since last July when I was home for her university graduation. Miss her like crazy. Would be enjoying it more but have a terrible head cold (yet another viral 'gift' from my husband!) and feel like I am balancing the Swiss ball filled with cement on my shoulders! It will pass and I can begin to enjoy the girls company more.

Well will go and see if I can get another hour's shut eye before they are all up and shouting for breakfast! Love and hugs to you allLorraine

When I met Iceman last fall I weighed 155 and looked pretty good. Lipo gave me nice legs and slender arms, but no ass and a belly to beat the band. That damn belly! UGH! I have since gained and am at 175. This is awful, because all of the weight is in my gut.

Cindy: This gain is a wonderful indicator of love, sedentary work and commute, and close your eyes, aging. (yep, I'm totally, intentionally ignoring the HIV part) The best aspect of the trio, of course, is love. You've relaxed, hurrah! Given your ongoing balance issues, would a rowing machine and/or stationary bike be good choices? I'm not an exercise physiologist, but it would seem you have fewer chances of falling with each (unlike the treadmill) AND, would these then be items your doc could prescribe? You've indicated being savvy with regard to taxes in the past---so, that might be the best alternative OR using that freebie list you've accessed or simply a good price through Craig's list or E-bay.

To Brandy, you've got us all venting and talking about our weight, which I think is a healthy topic! It really seems we are all struggling with the same issues! I am sitting here in my aerobic stretch shorts which I haven't worn in about five years, and I am going to try some aerobics! The shorts still fit cause the weight has moved from my ass to my gut, so either way you stretch them, there is still room! But boy oh boy, these shorts don't lie, WHERE did that gut come from? Ugh!

I walked Cheech for 25 minutes this morning. We went to an open area and buzzed around and then I ended up walking him in huge circles on his extendable leash. I didn't want to walk anymore, wanted to go back home, but I told myself 10 circles, so I did them.

Lostgirl, our body types seem to be very similar. I am 38 (39 on 11/14), and my bra size has increased, I have more belly and more back fat. I went from a 36B to a 38D. Some parts of me look great, like the arms and legs and bust, but this middle makes me feel like a stuffed sausage, lol!

Em, you bring up good points and I agree! I tell people that Ice and I must be in love cause we've both gained a little weight. I also really don't have much time when I get home to do anything in the evening, so I have been sedentary. I get home around 7pm, make dinner and then need to digest for a little bit. Pretty soon its 8pm and doing a workout right before bed is kinda scary being diabetic. We are stopping our summer schedule at work in a few weeks, so I'll be leaving a half hour earlier. Perhaps I can transition into a little something in the evenings.

Edited to add: Yes, Em, its aging, too. I am starting to look like my mother and my dear grandmother! A beachball with sticks, we call it. My mom and gma are only 5 feet tall, so at least I have the height to stretch me out some, lol!

I have a treadmill and a big exercise ball which is a lot of fun. I have often wondered if my balance issues would actually improve if I did regular exercise. I have these weird feelings even while I walk and drive. Its a perception thing, almost like motion sickness, I am still trying to figure it all out.

OK, so I am going to go put one of my old tapes into my old VCR and see how far I get this morning. My goal for now is to do aerobics 1x on the weekend and 1x M-F.

I think its a good start. Oh, and I have pushed the water a ton already this morning. I'm no Torres on the women's swimming team, but at 41, she certainly was an inspiration!

OK, time to MOVE it, lol! (Hell, I might only last 12 minutes before gasping for air, lol!)

Cindy

12:00pm OK, I made it through 30 minutes of my aerobics tape from The Firm series this morning. I have strength, but I am as stiff as a board with not much elasticity as I used to have. I also need help with the cardio. I started getting light-headed when I got really hot, but that has always been the norm for me. I have been checking my blood sugar levels every half hour and my muscles ache in a good way. I kicked ass on the push-ups, too!

Cin, all my weight is in my gut also. With me, it's a combo of lipo/bad eating habits. My doctor also said I might have diabetic gastroporesis. Have you ever heard of this? I had to google it, wikipedia didn't have it. Anyway, congrats on doing those 30 minutes of exercise! That's really great. I try to exercise in the morning, before I eat breakfast. I'm aging also (I'll be 43 on 9/2). But, I don't attribute all the weight gain to age. There's more to it than that, with me at least. I bet Cheech really loved his walk this morning. I hope you can continue your exercise routine. Good luck!

Yes Wendy, 80 lbs. My mum took me to a store one time so I could get some new clothes (I was in a wheelchair and my doctor threatened me that if I continued to drive, he'd pull my license) and people couldn't quit staring. I'm sure they thought I was anorexic. I actually fit into a size 1 in jeans and had to look in the jr.'s for shirts and p.j.'s. I would never want to be that thin again. Thank heavens for newer meds.

Drag, if English isn't your primary language, what is? That has me curious. You speak English very well.

Lorraine, how long have you been in the States? I'm just curious, what prompted you to move here (U.S.)? Do you like it? I know the situation with your husband has got to be hard. I wish you all the luck in the world. Please continue to chat with us.

I try to drink a lot of water every day. The problem I have with that is during the day, my gut gets pushed out when I drink a lot of water. I get rid of it by getting up and going pee about 5-6 times during the night. I put a slice of lemon in my water; I like it that way. The only day I haven't been exercising on is Sunday. I've basically been doing resistance exercises. In November, I'm going to call the Y and see how much a membership is. You know, while I'm typing this, I'm thinking I probably already told you all these things. Sorry for repeating myself.

I have a quetsion: WHERE THE HELL HAS CRISTY BEEN? Please dear, if you read this, let us know how you're doing. I probably should call her and I will a little later today.

I have nothing planned today. My brother is coming over tonight with more of "The Wire." He rents the DVD's from one of the local video stores. He usually brings some kind of treat over also. Nothing other than that. I hope you ladies have a good day.

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

good afternoon ladies thanks for all the input Ive always been big up top 32 D now I'm like a 42DD yicks and at one time in the late 90s I weighted 98 pounds geeeez I sure don't want to do that again yuck and Ive been on meds for 9 years but this last year I just started putting on the weight but I did lose 6 pounds this week not really sure how I gave up trying I was working out every day 45 minutes at a time and lost nothing!! so I stopped I hit 215 and never got any bigger I weigh myself all the darn time and I ve been losing about a pound a day this week I'm down to 209. I'm not really trying either I cant do the straight fruits and veggie either I have issues already with not being able to go poo

thanks for letting me vent your guys stories are all so like mine I don't feel so alone

now on to brighter things I am still in college I went back late and had a lot of review to do plus I work and do my part at the hospital. I actually start back for the fall tomorrow I have 15 credit hours set for this semester I'm most likely over loaded and will end up dropping one I'm going to try to test out of my math ( I'm terrible in math I just cant wrap on head around the numbers)

and its true when we have psychology back grounds we think that we should be perfect think perfect and never have issues:(

Geez louise Angel that is a big change. DD? wowWhen I was pregnant with my 18 year old son I went from a B cup to a D cup and wound up with stretch marks on my boobs. They shrank back to my normal size after I quit breast feeding. They didnt get real big with my second pregnancy. I'm a 38 B now I have day dreamed about things I would have done if I could afford cosmetic surgery. If I got my boobs done it would be mainly to firm them up, they have plenty of roundness to them. They have never been firm. LOL even when I was an A cup they where round and squishy. Its not noticeable to anyone but me really. You know how us women can be critical of ourselves.

But I'd have a tummy tuck before I had anything else done. Maybe some liposuction on my inner thighs. Some cosmetic treatments to make my skin look marvelous. Remove spider veins, freckles and stretch marks. And get laser hair removal on everything I shave.

Yeah, tummy tuck would be my first choice if a) I had the money and b) if I had the guts! Ooops - I do have the guts and that is why I would like a tummy tuck! What I mean is if I had the courage! I look like a kangaroo complete with a year old joey in my pouch at the moment!

Betty - I have been in the States two and a half years now. My husband's Company moved us across in a very sudden move due to re-organisation. We had lived here previously 1999-2001 and were transferred back to Scotland. Didn't think we would be moving again! We are only here temporary - its not a permanent move. It was here that my husband (silly twit) caught the virus and then thoughtfully gave it to me! That was May 2006 and our diagnosis was last August. Hey, its my anniversary of that 'awful day'! Anyway, we are talking lots and lots now, taking one day at a time, but both of us are now much more at peace. Final decisions as to where we go from here will eventually be made but in time. Meantime I will keep up with the diet (rats, just ate some chocolate!) and now I have the sports bra can get cracking with the skipping rope!

Cindy - our body types may be similar but rest assured you are much younger and far prettier than me! Bet you don't look like a kangaroo nude either!

it honestly doesnt feel a huge change, they are big but not overly and because there implants there very pert, I did have under muscle implants so they dont look like stuck on coconuts, they are very natural looking.

I have had lipo aswell to my tummy but that was 3-4 years ago after my daughter was born I couldnt shift the pocket of fat so had it sucked out instead.

I went to belgium to have my breasts done and saved about £1500 which is roughly £3000 dollars.

I didnt rollerblade, I wussed out again. It seems that in the past years I am far less corageous than I was before. I mean, I used to do that quite regularly. i wonder if there's something wrong with my sense of balance, b/c sometimes when I ride my bike down a hilly street (in so far as there're hills here which is a very mild slope, no san francisco street) I get all nervous and feel like Im sliding down a pit and have to get off. also when Im driving a car, I get all dizzy after a while esp at night, and I feel like Im losing control over the car and its all too fast for me.

Maybe Im just slowing down with old age. Or maybe its all the weed I used to smoke. BF is still amazed when we watch a movie, and 2 weeks later its like I could watch it all over and be surprised.

Im off to a week of work and errands. It seems for the amount of beaurocracy, translation, lawyers needed to register our wedding both here and in spain I might as well open my own company. Ahhr, just finding out about it makes me all tense. Ive been feeling like a loser about work. am sure its just a phase. if there's one thing I take from the wisdom of you ladies on this thread, is that if we hang on for long enough things get better or we change our perspective.

Tendai - how are you girl? How is your brother? I hope so much that he's a little better. I read that the opposition said withdrawing negotiatons is not an option. He is so soft spoken, but so stubborn. There was an interview with him (Tzv... - sorry wont attempt to spell his name again) on BBC and the interviewer was pressing him about having withdrawn from the elections. Couldnt he get that they were rigged? couldnt he get that people were being intimidated by gruesome violence? usually the BBC "gets it" but I think that he was completely off the mark.

Betty - my 1st language is hebrew which is the world's oldest living language. its nothing like the european languages and we use a different alpahebet written from right to left, you may have seen it sometime on a bible. It sounds like arabic which is the closest language to it although they are still very different and use a completey different script.

I am also worried about Cristy - please give us a shout to let us know yoú're OK.

Lorraine, Im sure you're a beautiful woman. Dont ask me how I have a 6th sense for these things. Tummy or not. After giving birth (when & if) who knows what'll happen to mine. Its not flat but Im ok with my body now, after fighting it for many many years. Ironically b/c now am so terrified of what I tihink Im already seeing in my face, skin seemingly more thin so veins show, hollows etc, and I dont want to end up looking like madonna. I just want to stick with all the things Wendy mentioned, all the imprerfections, just stay the way i am and finally I appreciate that I look ok and dont want to change anything b/c I am threatened with something bigger than weight gain or simple aging. I do have cellulite and bulges on the thighs and all that like every other woman but I dont care about that. Oh one of my worst flaws is self inflicted wich is my tattoes that i hide on my shoulders and scars on my forearms from a suicide attempt many years ago, which is a crying shame cos my arms are nice. Ive hated my body my whole life for various reasons. It took HIV to make me accept it with all the damage.

But if I could, Id do a total body and face makeover, not to look like Michael jackson or something. Id do my breasts most definately and bare them everywhere, the sauna, the beach - quite the norm here . But honestly I dont like the botoxed skinny look at all, like what they did on "the swan". They just overdid it, fixing teeth (mine are getting ruined too) was enough in most cases, they didnt need to do a full top to bottom "renovation" like they did. I think most of hollywood looks good on screen or fully made up on the red carpet but not in real life. There are some exceptions like charlize therone or halle berry, if I spelled that right.

We are who we are... if we can just accept it and look at others and ourselves kindly. I think its better to be middle aged and full-figured and maybe somewhat white haired like people used to look, than look like a wax statue the way people do now, with fish pouts and expressionless brows and clothes hanger bodies.

What a speech... hope you have a great week ladies, lots of love to you all

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"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Well here we are, 4am and cannot sleep again! Thank goodness for the Forum! After reading about all our moans and groans about our bodies, I thought to myself - gosh we are all so alike aren't we? I guess it doesn't matter who we are, pos, neg, model, country girl, old, young, we all worry about what we look like! I guess the bottom line (no pun intended!) is that we all want to be strong and healthy. It sounds like we are all trying our best, and that's all we can do. Being together in this helps a lot, don't you think? I am even beginning to like my kangaroo pouch! I was getting so uptight about the effects of all this on my figure, my skin etc (which feels like crepe paper in places due to the loss of fat!) that I was loosing perspective of it all. But knowing you are all out there, going through the same ups and downs, makes me feel as though we are all sitting around together having a cup of coffee/glass of wine laughing about it! At least we don't have to face the cameras like all those Hollywood girls after being airbrushed to death in magazines! It must be awful to think that in real life, people are looking at you and thinking 'she didn't look like that in Cosmo'!!!

Speaking of wine, I have had to give up even a small glass of the stuff - not that I ever drank much - I'm the original 'one sherry and I'm falling over' type - but found that with the meds I am on (think it is the Sustiva) I was so spaced out for an hour after I drank even one glass that it just wasn't worth it. Do miss a beer with a curry tho (that's the Scot in me!). Anybody else have that issue?

Dragonette - Hope you are getting through all that paperwork! When are you getting married and moving? It must be a stressful time for you. Wishing you well with it all. I laughed when you mentioned the 'hilly street' - can't remember seeing many of them around when I lived there! Our stairs were the steepest thing I had to climb! But I also have problems sometimes with that dizzy feeling when driving or even just pushing the shopping cart! I feel real 'disorientated'.

Well today I have my clinic visit. I was having real problems with my old practice - just couldn't get an appointment - so am now going to my husbands practice which I had previously avoided doing. However, they could fit me in real quick and I have had blood work done since first week in April so really need to get that done. Have got a different Consultant tho so will see how we get on together.

hello ladies, m just bout to knock. can see that there's been an interesting discussion goin on; boobs!!!some of us would really appreciate some breast job and go a couple of cups up, gee m a 32A!!!i've come to terms with it but a woman could use some boob job...and toss some of those wonder bras.lol

wel, ma weekend was not bad. went to stay over at ma boyfriends with his sister and his nephew...his cousin also came over on saturday. they are quite a nice bunch...but of course ma momther was not amused. she woke me up in the wee hours on the morning and rapped!!!then woke me up to clean her house!i swear she was on the verge of beating the daylights out of me. i don't know what she is goin to do this weekend becoz m planning on spending it him; i did not get to see him this weekend!

Lorraine- hope ur clinic visit goes well...

Zanele- oh so u r tendai's home gal, Shona or Ndebele?

Queen- u at 805 gal, wow! hope to be there one of these days...

Ladies, i need a job seriously, our receptionist just told us that one of the gals has been fired!this totally sucks!!ok, will tak u to u 2mrw, i gotta hear this story...

Wow, I just want to say first, Drag and Lorraine, I get those issues about getting a bit dizzy when driving. I just talk myself through it, so I don't crash. I'm relieved to find out I'm not the only one.

Brandy, my therapist, who is a PhD and has been doing therapy for years admitted to me a bit ago that he has his own therapist. You see, we're all human.

Angel, you're not on meds yet are you? I think you've got a fairly new diagnosis. Usually being on certain meds for awhile will have some ladies' boobs getting larger. I'm glad you were able to get the surgeries done if they make you feel better. My body has gone through so many changes through the years. I suppose plastic surgery is the only way my body would make any visual changes. I've seen horror picture of people's bellies immediately following lipo; is it really red and does it burn a lot? I'm not downing you, please don't think that. Just curious.

Wendy, I'm with you. If I had a choice, it would be to firm up my boobs, not necessarily for them to get larger. They're pretty droopy anymore.

Lorraine, happy late anniversary and I wish you tons more. Hey, chocolate is hard to resist, diet or no diet. I always let loose on the weekends regarding going off my diet. I usually overdo it though. Anyway, I don't drink (anymore). I'm a recovering addict and overdo anything that makes me feel good (including booze). If I could limit myself to one or two, I would. So I can't really answer your question. And I'm not on Sustiva anymore either. But if it bothers you, then maybe you could drink your wine earlier in the day?

Drag, when I was much younger, I took a straight-razor and went from my wrist to the crack of my arm in straight lines on both arms. So, I have scars also. But, I don't try to cover it up and most people don't ask. I also have tattoos, as you know, and have one on each hand. So I can't hide those. I regret getting the ones done on my hands; when people first meet me, that's the first thing they look at. I'm sure they have some pre-judgements. I just wonder what it will be like when I do try to find a job again.

Mahalia, when I read the first line you typed, it made me laugh. Thanks for that. Anyway, I hope you find another job; truly I do. Any leads?

I didn't get up (again) until like 8:50 a.m. That's pretty late for me. I'm not sure why I'm sleeping so much. Anyway, I've exercised, ate breakfast and had my shower, so I feel human.

When my brother came over last night, we were watching the DVD of "The Wire" and my DVD player busted. I couldn't believe it. It's less than two years old. My best friend gave it to me two X-mas's ago. I wonder if she still has the receipt. My brother's girlfriend said it may need to be blown out with that contraption people use on their keyboards. She said there may be dust in it. I don't know anything about electronics. Anyway, I don't remember where I put the paperwork on my electronic stuff (of course), but I suppose I should try to find it to see what it says about a warranty.

My best friend has two cars. One she drives and the other one she got for her son when he was driving (he doesn't anymore, for now). The car she doesn't drive is a Toyota (an older model). She offered to let me drive it to save on gas (you all know my car's an 8-cylinder), as long as I pay for the insurance on it. Next month the tags are due on my car. I would get these again, in case something happened to the Toyota. I was also advised to talk to my insurance agent about "storage" insurance to keep on my car. Supposedly, if I don't keep up any insurance, when I go to get insurance again, it would be costly. I'm going to have to check things out. But I'm wondering if driving the Toyota would be worth it if I'm going to pay for insurance on that and storage insurance on my car. I suppose the gas would make up for the extra cost. And it would be pretty easy to drive mine again should anything happen to the Toyota. So, next week I may be driving a different car, we'll see.

Nothing planned until tomorrow when I go to the Hope (my volunteer job). I hope you ladies have a good day.

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Your post made me giggle, about you not downing me. Honestly honey something about my surgeries doesnt get me down one little bit. Considering the shock news Ive had with regards to the HIV. So you ask away.

My lipo was because I had my child and when I got back to pre-preg weight, I had a pocket of tummy fat I couldnt shift, I decided exercise was the way to go and hired a personal trainer to help me out a couple of times a week, after a few months it still wouldnt shift, he said because I had a c-section it would be very difficult if not impossible to shift, so decided to have lipo. To be quite honest it wasnt at all painful I had 4 tny little red dots where they had done the incisons which are completely gone now, I was swollen for a while and had to wear a horrid tight corset for 6 weeks but the results were awesome.

Now boobs, well I come from a family of big chested women and I had tiny A cups, so at 32 decided I was gonna take the plunge and have it done and I love my new boobs. I am only 4 weeks post op and still have the support bra to wear for 2 more weeks.

And it is good to be back, dammit. I have missed you all like crazy and while gone it seem like the rest of the world was stuck on stupid!!!!!! For the moment, I am stuck with dial-up until Wednesday but at this point, I am just happy to be back online. Yes, I had some serious internet withdrawals and it wasn't pretty... One thing for sure, it nice to see the new faces. I am so behind with everyone and too lazy to read what I have missed so I will just go from here.

Where to start? Well, me and the kitties are just loving the place but I have to get rid of Nef and Athena.. I haven't been able to find a home for them and called animal enforcement, not thrilled with having to call them but really has no other choice. I am just concerned because if they are not adopted out in 15 days, they will be put to sleep.Animal enforcement was suppose to come today but they never showed up. So, they have another grace period, I almost feel like I am putting them on death row and that is breaking my heart.

I love living alone again and cherish the privacy. It is nice living down from my oldest sister and we have actually been acting like sisters. Yesterday we went out and had some burgers at a restaurant that has been open since I was in high school. Then we went to Gabriels because she had to exchange some curtains. We have been there 3 times total. One of the curtains didn't go with her apartment so she gave them to me and I hung them up about an hour ago.

The car finally got legal last week after having to replace the windshield, spark plugs, fuel filter, windshield motor, battery mount, and various lights. One of my old neighbors saw me one day at the old place having problems with the car and has been there every since. He has done all the work the car need and I only had to pay him 70 bucks and that included putting the system in. Yeah, that's right, Mami, has BOOM now...

Tendai, you are so right, the only thing missing is a man in my life. And believe me that has been a bit of a mini drama or love triangle in itself that kind of played itself out. Anyone remember the neighbor I had a crush on at my old place? Something almost got started between me and him but then circumstances came up, as in his father had 2 strokes and flatlined. And I haven't heard from him since. And if any of you remember Rico, well, heard some news about him too. He went back to his hometown, found a new job and was doing well until he ended up getting burned with various stds, got tested for hiv but I hadn't heard the results of that yet. And if he did pop up poz, I wouldn't think it would be from me because we wore condoms and my vl at that time was undetectable.

Good Afternoon!Why is that ladies always bemoan their bodies? I am certain the men aren't one bit worried. That is definitely something I wish I had...LOL! I have gained SOOOO much weight in the last year. I weigh more than I ever have. My doctor told me it is not the meds, I'm on Atripla, and I had my thyroid tested...nada. The only thing I can attribute it to is that when I go sick and couldn't eat, basically wasting, my metabolism went into starvation mode and essentially stopped. I don't think it has woken up again. I hold most of my weight in my stomach, hips, but and thighs, but I have an "hourglass" shape. My best feature is my waist... My chest is a 36C. When I was sick it went down to a very little B...so that's me. Some days I just hate the way I look and other days I think, hey, I don't look too bad...Oh well, enough of that.

Last night my crazy neighbor upstairs was banging on the door next to mine. I live in condo complex so I share a wall with two others. Well it was 3:30am! Of course my dog is barking away and I get up to shush her and find out what is going on. Well to make a long story short the upstairs neighbor has had it out for my neighbor. At the beginning of the year he startred calling the police saying that my neighbor made all kinds of noise that would wake him up. Well I live next to him and never heard anything. The police would keep coming out and they basically said the guy upstairs was not playing w/ a full deck, you know. Well, around April or so my neighbor moved out so his place has been empty. The neighbor upstairs keeps calling the police and saying that he is making noise. I have told the police several times that no one even lives there. A few weeks ago they came out again, of course always in the middle of the night, and told them that the guy moved months ago and it has been vacant so I don't know what that guys problem is. Anyways...when he was banging on the door this morning I opened up my door and told him no one was there. And he said there's all this banging going on and I said I don't hear anything and I was sleeping. He goes to rant and rave and says someone is in there. He is totally crazy! There is a lot more but it will take me too long to explain. All I know is that he is the kind of crazy that scares me. His neighbor upstairs moved out because of him and now my neighbor did too. What a maniac! I just wish the police would tell him to knock it off!

Angel, hee. I laughed at "open boob" also. I think that was a Freudian slip. I suppose if I were younger, I wouldn't mind getting the surgeries done to try to look better. Now that I'm older, I'm not that worried about it. After "med body" changes also, it's not on my list of priorities anymore. I do exercise to try to stay a little healthy, and have not smoked in a month, but I do love my weekend candy binges.

Queen, it's good to have you back. I remember Rico. That's the guy you were with when your son came to pick you up, isn't it? The one that was pushy? Well, it's no surprise that he's had some STDs. I'm so sorry about your kitties. I feel bad, and they're not even mine. But, the important thing is that you have a place (it does make me even more sad looking at your avatar). Well, we have to do what we have to do. So, will you only have one cat when Nef and Athena are gone? I'm glad you have your car also. It's about time some good things were happening to you!

Andrea, that neighbor of yours sounds like he should be in a mental health facility. If he gets too out of control, you might want to call the police and tell them what he's been doing. They could probably do something about it. Does he rent or own the place he lives in? Because if he rents, the police could talk to the landlord about getting him out of there. I wouldn't put up with it, not at all.

Well, my best friend called and wanted to know if she could come over when she got off work. Her son works in town and he doesn't have a ride home. Of course I told her she could. She also told me the Toyota needs a new battery, which she will get to Friday if she can. She said she's going to get the car road-ready as fast as possible though. All it needs besides the battery is the oil change she's planning on getting Friday (and the tires rotated, same day). I called my insurance place and to have just comprehensive, which is what they said they would do, would cost $5.73 a month. They said if I switched by the first of the month, I would have enough left over from my policy now to cover a couple months. I will still have to pay for tags, but oh well. If something were to happen to the Toyota, my car would be ready to go. This will sure save me on gas.

Nothing newsworthy other than that. I hope all you ladies have a good night.

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I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Hey girls!, Vivt- that is a crazy ass neighbor u got!!! lol be careful.Nothing much going on here,back a t home and regrouping. QUEEN- so happy to here from you and yes I live in Macon, Georgia, but born and raised in NYC!Let me know when and where u are going to in GA.BETTY-congrats on the no smoking !great news about the use of ur friends car. Also i love your avitar pic and ur dd is so pretty.Betty I can't wait to see iif I'll have enough money for a smaller car and trade in this old caddy. MY gd, who just started kindergarden, cried when i droped her to schooh so I had to go in with her, she keeps saying she doesn't want breakfast at school and I know why now,She is shy and doen't know anyone there! So she eats at home and we take her just in time to go staright to class.WINN- I HOPE YOU ARE FEELING OK WITH UR NEW MEDS.TENDAI- My prayers go out to you and your brother, as u know my brother is also hiv+ and has hep-c, he just got out of the hospital, but has out lived athe docs expectations/

!Now ladies I am also over weight and not pleased with my body. I am only 5'1 and way 155-157 lbs. I have a tummy and a small frame so i look like I am 6 mos pregnant! OK I am eating right , but i crave sweets .i want to start exercising soon as i get clearance from my doctor about my back and this law suit! I did walk the dog last week and that felt good.

ANGEL- welcome, you are blessed that u had all that surgery and doing well.I had breast reduction 1 year ago and am now a 38. i was a 42 and then some!Now mys sis had a tummy tuck and I wante d one so so bad till she got so ill from complications! shewas bedridden for some time but better now and looks great!Welcome DENISEVIVT- I got my nose pierce this year for my 50th bday!

LOST Girl- nice to meet you! My great grand mother was pure Scottish!my grand fathers' mother.My dad who is diseased left a copy of a drawing of our Scottish family crest (Ferguson) my last name. i plan to get a tattoo of it soon.SUN ,TRE-DAI. MOON, QUEEN,WINN,DRAG,SNOW,MAHALIA,MOMS,BLESSED- shout out. to EVERYONE ELSE ((((HUGS)))))) One LOVE!ps. here is a pic of my new love, my puppy ,Blue. he is huskie mixed with blue eyes. also a pic of my 5 yr. old grand with here new hair do.

I think someone mentioned my cd4 count earlier and I missed that. Honestly, I consider myself blessed when it comes to that. I hadn't been taking my meds because I had packed them away, accidently, I swear. They had been packed for about a week or so. I even tried calling my doctor to ask if I should get back on them but he is on vacation.

Betty--Yeah, I feel bad about the kittens. I do get to keep Lucifer and I am glad, I have 120 bucks invested in him from when he got fixed last month. The demon kitty goes no where but I think he will be ok, he started out by himself. And I agree it is about time something is going right for me and it is a big relief. Um, no the one where my son had to get me was Kevin. Rico was the one I was seeing around Thanksgiving and we split up around Christmas. You know the one who was bawling over his ex that has another man?

Netta--My trip to Ga got cancelled because my brother's daughter came to visit and burned the house down. So now my brother, his gf, and her kids are staying with my uncle. But I knew there was someone who was in Georgia.

Now that the dust has cleared, my diabetes decided to flare up. My A1C was at 8.1 before that 6.2 so now my primary wants to see me in the am. I'm not overly concerned because he told me if my A1C came back high he was going to start me on the Lantus shots. I am overdue to get the scans done for my liver and lung. I really need to get on that but I am still trying to regroup from the move. Funny how I can never get my diabetes and hiv to be good at the same time but I figure better my diabetes than my hiv. I know kind of a dismal way to look at it but I do have a game plan, I am just waiting to see how my bills are going to pan out here before I try to get a membership to the Y.

I swear it feels so good to be back among you all, you just don't know. I'll check back in later. There's a lot of things I need to catch up on online.

Queen-You posted right before I did but I did not have time to re post. Welcome back. I am glad things have finally settled down

Well, I finally got my nose pierced today. YAY for me! I was very scared that it would hurt when my sister reminded me that I went through that whole blood marrow test which was a pain I would never wish on my enemies. She went with me and I asked her to hold my hand and she made fun of me and said she wasn't going to, but she did... She is 18 and much more brave than me. She has her belly button, tongue, and lip pierced AND 2 tattoos. She is the baby of the family and the wild one LOL! Anyways...it really wasn't that bad, like you all told me. The guy was really good and very fast. I am glad I did it and I like it...

Netta-You go girl!

That's all for tonight. Next Wednesday the kids are back in school.... These last few days are going to be spent getting all the last minute details ready.

So tired tonight, whew, what a Monday. They didn't fire me after I got pissy and burned out last week. I am still walking on eggshells, though. I'm not the nutjob, I just bust my ass and get no appreciation. I will just slow down and try to blend at the office.

i wonder if there's something wrong with my sense of balance, ...... also when Im driving a car, I get all dizzy after a while esp at night, and I feel like Im losing control over the car and its all too fast for me.

Maybe Im just slowing down with old age. Or maybe its all the weed I used to smoke.

THIS is what I've been going through forEVER and I have never smoked weed, GF!

Wow, I just want to say first, Drag and Lorraine, I get those issues about getting a bit dizzy when driving. I just talk myself through it, so I don't crash. I'm relieved to find out I'm not the only one.

I talk myself through this crap every day driving to and from work.

Today was really bad, its worse when my fibromyalgia acts up. Today I had trouble breathing, even while at the office, so you can imagine how I had to will myself to drive home. I went slow and pissed off everyone behind me, lol. I have a big smiley face on my spare tire cover, hee hee.

Last night I went to Iceman's for dinner. He asked what I wanted to do for my 40th birthday. My birthday is 11/14. I replied that I was going to be 39 in a few months, wouldn't be 40 until 2009. He said he knew that.

Let me start off by admitting that I haven't read anything since post #22..LOL. Mini and I just made it back from AMG about 20 minutes ago. I see that Jan already posted a wee teaser about Mini. We did have a wonderful time, but it went way too fast. Leaving was bitter sweet and I still get teary thinking about everyone. Jan in the forums is wonderful- Jan in real person is nothing short of amazing. I'll post pictures later of her and Mini doing the hokey pokey to "Stayin' Alive".

My head is spinning and I really need to take a shower. I just couldn't spend one more day without dropping a line to all my sweet ladies out there.

Netta, your granddaughter is beautiful. And I love your puppy! I love his eyes. Yeah, these big old cars ride smooth, but paying for the gas is hell.

Queen, oh, now I remember Rico. Sorry about the confusion. About the diabetes....I can hardly ever get my diabetes and HIV results to both come back good. I'm on the Lantus shot. It works really well for me. Before I was on Lantus, I was on this insulin called Novulin-N, but it was twice a day, where the Lantus is only once (thank heaven). I'm glad you'll be able to keep Lucifer. He'll keep you company. My kitty does.

Wendy, how are you feeling?

Andrea, you go girl! I'm glad you like your new piercing. Did they give you stuff to clean it with and instructions?

Cin, I didn't know you have fibromyalgia also. Yuck. So, in November, are you going to be 40 or are you really going to be 39. I hate to guess if I'm wrong.

Mum, I'm glad you're back with us. I'm sure you're going to be tired. But it sounds like you guys had fun. I'm so glad.

Angel, you're only newly diagnosed. It usually takes somewhere around a year I believe for the emotions to come back under some kind of normalcy. And don't feel bad for posting what you did. That's one of the reasons we're here, is to support each other. It does get better, trust me.

I'm all showered and ready to go to my volunteer job. I have about 45 minutes yet. Nothing exciting happening. A friend of mine had back surgery yesterday, so I'll probably call her in a few minutes. They took out two discs and put in two plastic ones. Sounds very strange to me, but I guess that's the advances of modern medicine. Anyway, I hope you ladies have a good day. I'll probably be back later.

Logged

I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

MUM- good to have u back, yeah we'l be waiting for those pics...we surely did miss u!say hi to Mini for me.

VIV- finally!!!u shud be looking great!

BETTY-thanks, none as yet, but i remain hopeful...i've now been told i got outstanding medical bills over USD180 and i only make approximately USD620 a month...God help me!hahaha, its just crazy as hell, God has a way of working things out for us nonetheless.

Cindy-Well it sounds like things are going well. I hope everything settles down at work. I know that if I have problems at work it can really effect me. Did the doctor's ever figure out what was causing the dizzy spells? It sounds like a few of the ladies experience similar things.

Angel-This is a difficult time and I totally understand. You will go through so many emotions. Do you have anyone to talk to? I mean, besides your husband? It has been a little over a year since my diagnosis and I still sometimes have my down times. I have said this before but I really mean it, the ladies here are great and have good advice. Don't feel bad about being down. You are entitled to it.

Wendy- Feeling any better?

Betty-They only gave me instructions on how to clean it and it's really simple. I am just supposed to wash it with a clear, antibacterial soap like Softsoap. The guy said just to leave it alone and don't touch it and it will heal quicker. I forget it's there actually. It's not even really sore...just a little tender to the touch. I just wory about blowing my nose...LOL!

Mum-I am glad you had a good time! I can't wait to hear all about it!

Well I am going into my classroom again today and get some things ready. I just found out yesterday that we are going to only have 30 kids! Originally we were supposed to have 37. My principal is creating a 4/5 combo class to help. She never really follows through with stuff like that so I am surprised and HAPPY!

Angel - Dont worry about posting negative things we all do it. Its no big deal, thats why we are here. I agree with Betty. It took me at least a year before I started feeling normal again. Then a couple more years before HIV and everything that involves being positive became routine and normal.

I'm feeling ok ladies. I think I have grown used to all these antibiotics. My only side effect is being poopy. But thats kinda normal if you know what I mean. I still take a promethasine before I take my pm dose of antibiotics. I dont want to tempt fate and have an all night throw up fest.

Its been raining here. My computer is next to my back door which is a big glass door so I can see the whole back yard. The turtle is making a trip around the pool right now. I keep looking out there to make sure she doesn't take a nose dive into the pool. I haven't seen anymore of the mini turtles. I've looked all over the yard but I haven't gone into the garden and moved plants around to see if there are any in there. Plus there is some hiding spots near the pool equipment and machinery. Who knows. I'm rambling....