I started this blog when my husband and I were expecting our first child to document my pregnancy and warn people of all the things nobody tells you about. Then it followed our family's journey through secondary infertility. It turns out I forgot as much as I learned. One might think that motherhood has softened me...
One would be wrong.

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Saturday, July 9, 2011

Bump Envy

We have settled into a nice routine on Saturday mornings. I get up before everybody else and have some coffee and quiet time to myself. When The Husband and The Parasite rouse their sleepy heads we have some breakfast before walking together to the Farmer's Market held every weekend at a neighbourhood park. We pick up meat and vegetables for dinner, fresh baguettes for lunch, a cup of coffee each and some ground coffee for the week from a local merchant who imports from his family's farm in Guatemala. Then we take our haul to the playground and let The Parasite blow off some toddler steam. It's a perfectly lovely way to kick off the weekend!

But...

This weekend? Seriously? Every freakin' woman in the playground was pregnant. Except me. It's hot as hell and the internal furnace that comes with pregnancy would be stupendously uncomfortable at this time of year, yet I still have me a serious case of bump envy. Maybe since we've started the fertility investigations I'm a little more aware of the state of the bellies of other women. Maybe a whole lot of people got busy on New Year's Eve so their bumps are more pronounced now than they were earlier in the spring. I don't know. What I *do* know is that making me feel totally sad and broken and I'm powerless to stop it. As someone who prides herself on rationality, this is not a feeling I enjoy. </whine>