I am the fifth child of five, blessed with five little miracles of my own. I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a counselor, a homeschooler, a practicing (though often failing) Catholic. My life journey has been amazing. I am blessed beyond my ability to believe most days.

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Back from C.C.

I wasn't there for long, things just kind of build up and I allow myself to be pulled under. Grateful to God for friends, the sacrifice of the Mass and good books, I am back.

So, here's the deal. I'm all about people making their own decisions about their life. I write this blog, partly, because I made a bunch of the mistakes that are possible to make and yet I am here to speak about them. Why? Because of God's mercy on me, a sinner. Yes, that's present tense. I still sin on a basis that is more than I would like but, in the words of one of our favorite homilists...

I know that I'm impatient, I know I don't love as I should, I know all these things...I trust in the Mercy of God forever. Accept your own poverty. You're poor, you're weak, you're not who God is calling you to be. It's OK. It's OK...for right now. I'm not saying don't work on it, right? But I know you people are. So, be at peace with your own poverty; your not-enoughness. I'm not enough and you're not enough and that's OK. We can be human together now.

So, that's me. I'm accepting my poverty and I'm trying to talk to those who also accept their poverty and I'm doing my best to meet people where they are. The difficult thing to offer up, for me, is going into a situation as a person in full-realization (as much as a human can) and appreciation of my poverty and not-enoughness and being told how judgmental, how unfair, how blatantly wrong I am. Hmm. That's a toughie for me.

God has given me a sprinking of amazing friends. These friends, also poor and weak like me, serve as my grounding on so many days. Of course, DH is my best friend. The others, near and far, all add together to keep me from Cloud C. on more than a few days a year. This was one of those days. This was the day that my friend and his two sweet boys chose to hang out with us. This was the day that we chose to ride the trolley downtown on a homeschool field trip (aka. Mass) and hear that most perfect homily.

It helped, a lot. It helped me to realize that I must keep, front and center, my poverty. I must never approach from a place of superiority. It also helped to see that, now at least, there are people with whom I can't "be human" right now.

The Jubilee Year of Mercy is a few months away. The media is crazy over the pope's declarations of welcome and mercy to all those who wish to be in the Church. Their favorite quote is ""the Church is the house that welcomes all and refuses no one." Indeed, with one caveat.

Francis
wrote that "the forgiveness of God cannot be denied to one who has
repented, especially when that person approaches the Sacrament of
Confession with a sincere heart in order to obtain reconciliation with
the Father."

Ahhh, there it is. Repented....Sacrament of Confession. For those of you non-Catholics out there, part of confessing and being absolved of our sins means realizing the action was wrong and pledging to do all in our power to avoid repeating the same sin.

So, there you go. It all came together today and, as always with God, it is all good. We must have mercy on everyone, even the unrepentant; even those who call us names; even everyone. We are poor and we need to reach out in our poverty to theirs. If they maintain their superior stance, even when it clearly goes against the fundamental law of right and wrong, well, I'll just let CS Lewis handle that:

"The demand of the loveless and the self-imprisoned that they should be allowed to blackmail the universe: that til they consent to be happy (on their own terms) no one else shall taste joy: that theirs should be the final power; that Hell should be able to veto Heaven...Every disease that submits to a cure shall be cured: but we will not call blue yellow to please those who insist on still having jaundice"

About Me

I am blessed to be my husband's wife for thirteen years. In that time we have been blessed with five little people here and two in heaven- each one a gift from God. I am amazed at the grace in my life and humbled by the challenges I face each day. Nothing is impossible with God...too bad I forget that so often!