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Monday, August 30, 2010

It's freak.n dark out there. What am I doing up when it's still dark? And 66 degs, I can handle that.
Ya see, it's like this.....I need to be at the department of jeep registration place early to re-register "that jeep". And to beat the illegals that show up every morning to get driver licenses and picture ID's. Then I got to go to Walmart....look'n for some propane hose parts for my missing hose and a loaf of bread. Have ya ever ate a moldy wheat bread and balony samitch??? How many ways are there to spell sandwich???

Now, about this blog. HELP!!! I were just mess'n round....mind'n my own business ya know and the next thing I know...pooof. "Should'a never push that button Billy Bob". So....in the mean time....get used to it.... till I figger something out. Speak'n of blog colors and all that stuff....while I was at Ben's place visiting, I noticed when he opened my blog, the colors were different than on MY computer. On his computer the background was a blue/green color. On mine it was a brownish redish color. What the hell???

Boy howdy....started my "to do" list yesterday. I ain't never gonna be ready for my "slabs" trip in November. The way I see it, old Billy Bob gonna be wore slap out fix'n all that stuff. How can "to do" lists get so freak'n big just sit'n on "da porch" sip'n a cup and think'n? You would think......relax, lay back and take a nap.

Ok....don't go away....I got things to do.....has anyone see where I put the registration papers for "that jeep"??? Oh lord, where are they?

10:30am......that weren't so bad. 45 minutes in line and 5 minutes to get a 2 year registration sticker. And...I didn't even have to lie.

Went off to Walmart, the hardware store and the lumber yard look'n for propane hose parts. Ended up at the propane sell'n place....got me a 10 foot hose with fittings to fit and a 10# regulator. All for less than he charged me before for just the regulator. Took it all back to "da house" and doped all the fittings and hook up my little 5 gallon tank. I have gas!!! But still have the leak. Propane guy said $55 an hour. Boy howdy, I gonna be crawl'n under there fix'n a leak. But not today.

Now what I gonna eat? Maybe cook up a couple buttermilk pancakes. Ain't had none in a long time. Yep....that what I gonna do right now.....laters.

8:00pm....Boy howdy, done more today than I did in the last 4 months. Took me a "super" nap after them pancakes. Then I went out and sprayed the weeds in the yard and cactus garden. After it's all dead and dry, I'm gonna set it on fire. Hee hee hee....love fire. Then I hook up my water hose....what leaked. Fix that. Then I hook up my yard hose...what leaked....fix that one too.

Little girl come down here and brung me a Verizon air card to try out. After load'n up all the software....here I are internet'n at high speed.....bout 4 times faster than Hughes Net. Anyone wanna but a Hughes Net satellite system....cheap???

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Holy Crap.....would you look at my yard and garden? What the hell has old pesky neighbor Wayne been doing while I was gone?

This is gonna take me a month to clean up. Set it on fire what I gonna do. Yep....set it on fire.

Woke up this morning with goose bumps. It were freak'n cold....64 degs. Needless to say, here come Wayne before my coffee had finished brew'n and my eyes were open. Damn!!! You would think he would have a little respect for someone what just drove non stop all the way from Ga. with no propane to cook a decent meal and no place to sleep after a grueling 6 to 8 hours behind the wheel.

Lug Nut knew for sure he was home as soon as we pulled in yesterday. Headed right off to the "Mexican" bar down the street. Next thing I see is his tail tromping through the weeds in the field next door with his malamute dog buddy right behind. Stayed out there for hours look'n for rabbits or anything that moved. Good to see a happy dog.

Now I got to lay down while I contemplate where I gonna start clean'n up all the mess I got. Maybe I'll just go sit on "da porch", sip a cup and do some think'n. Speak'n of "da porch", me and Wayne was sit'n out there and I says...."what with all the wasps fly'n round"??? Holy Cows....there's a big ole wasp nest right up there. All total there were six.....what I sprayed the hell out of with some wasp spray. Must have been a gazillion dead wasps when I used up a that can of spray. Yep...Sadie Mae got stung a couple times. Good thing Lug Nut was down at the bar.

Met a new neighbor call hisself "Woody". I'm think'n it should have been "windy". This guy can shoot a line what don't quit. Old pesky neighbor Wayne never got a word in edgewise. Don't matter what ya say, ya gonna listen to what Woody done and where he been. And then....when he talk, he talks without mov'n his lips. That is not good for a lip reader.

Ate me up a balony samitch what put me on the couch. Turn on the tv and that the last thing I remember. Now I'm a grouchy old fart.....don't mess with the popster.

Start me up a Walmart list. I bet ya a nickle I gonna find me some parts to fix my propane stuff. Oh yeah, I didn't tell ya yet. I lost my external propane hose down the road a piece. It fell out a little hole, got run over and broke slap off. I got to get this fix before I fix the propane leak......"boy howdy Billy Bob....you got problems".

Oh shit, now look what ya done did Billy Bob. Ya changed stuff and now there ain't no way to fix it. Somebody help me!!!

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Ok....I got up a little late this morning with a terrible back ache and a rumbling stomach. Must'a been something I ate.

Here it is 10:30 and I ain't even brushed my locks yet. But what the hell, what the hurry? Deming will still be there and old pesky neighbor Wayne can just wait. I wanted to get there in daylight but it don't make that much difference if it's pitch dark.

Look like I gonna have to set up my POS Hughes Net satellite if'n I want to get on the internet. Plan is to switch over to Verizon Air card here in a few days.

Ok....I got to get on the road. Will post laters if I can find a place to hook up to wifi somewhere.

Well that didn't work....no wifi.
Made it to Deming 4:30 central time.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Boy Howdy, let me tell ya. Thanks for all the comments and a hardy welcome to the SciFiChick.

Well it's like this....I were go'n down the road (I-20) look'n for gas. Being 60 feets long with the gas filler thingy on the back of "da house", finding a station this thing will fit in is not an easy task. After pulling off the road 4 times, I was able to finally fill up with 50 gallons in a little station bout 5 miles from the Interstate. Sheesh!!!

I hit every rest area go'n west out of Dallas so's I could get on wifi. None of them worked. After 6 1/2 hours behind the wheel and 260 miles old Billy Bob says......"we gonna sleep here". No wifi of course. While mak'n my morning pot of coffee this morning, I tried one more time....walla...wifi.

Enjoyed the comments....now I have something to live for. Keep 'em coming.

Lug Nut pisses me off. If he had not returned from where ever he was, I was gonna leave him at "Ben's Pet Corral" until I passed his way again. His eyes are still matted from what ever he got in them. This morning both were open, but he weren't happy when I put eye stuff and washed them out. Crazy dog!!! Bet ya a buck some ass hole sprayed pepper spray on him. Probably mess'n round with a little girl dog.

Been run'n the generator every time I stop so the refrigerator will have some cooling. Only opened it one time to get out a slab of balony and some mustard. Damn....I hate hav'n to fix stuff all the time. Other than that, I'm truck'n on down the highway.

Speak'n of highway.....I crossed the Colorado river yesterday. It was dry. What the hell??? If'n any of ya's is following me on the map, I am bout 20 miles west of Colorado City on I-20 at the rest area. Plan is to make it to Van Horn this evening.....if'n I can last that long.

Then I got to think'n.....I do that from time to time ya know. "Old Fat Man" Barney is gonna be only bout 50 mile from old Billy Bob this afternoon when I get off I-20 onto I-10. I been cross'n trails with that old fart for a year now. Could this be the time I meet the "Old Fat Man"???? With no communication it seems doubtful. I'll try finding some free wifi in Balmorhea...check see if'n we can hook up somehows. Wonder if Barney ever played golf with a redneck what swaks golf balls everywhere???

LOLOLOLOL...take Ben to the slabs. Are you nuts? That old coot wouldn't last two days at the slabs without all his electronic toys and his JD tractor.

Ok.....gotta go pee.....see ya laters.

Holy Crap....I'm in Van Horn, Texas. Ya see it's like this....I were driv'n down the road mind'n my own business when all the suddens off in the distance I see a mountain. My heart did one them fliper floper things it does every time I see mountains and the miles steadily racked up on the speed-o-meter. Before I know it I'm on I-10 only a few miles to Van Horn. Ain't ya proud of me???

Pulled off in a few places what should have had wifi, but no luck. Only wifi I found in Balmorea was security enabled......so no contact with the "Old Fat Man". Maybe next year we'll meet up....if'n we live that long.

Did you see the gas prices????? My God $2.94 a gallon where I filled up last and it's $2.89 in Van Horn. Gonna top off the tank here so's I can make it all the way to Deming....tomorrow afternoon.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Don't know what I gonna do today cause I'm still half asleep, coffee ain't done and only see with one eye.

Speak'n of one eye, Lug Nut got only one eye open this morning. Ya see,it's like this.....last week when I pull in Bens fenced yard, he says the dogs can run loose....not get in the highway and stuff like that. I told Ben..."if there's a hole, Lug Nut gonna find it...or make a new one". Well that what he did. He been run'n the streets for days....block'n traffic on the Interstate and stuff like that.

Yesterday afternoon Lug Nut took to the street, neighbors yards, a field of high grass with weeds five feet high and the woods. After a couple hours I says to Ben....."he's gone..coyotes gonna eat him". Ya see, this dog has done this before and every time he does I gets all upset that my dog is dead, lost or someone stole him. Well, bout 10:15pm here come Lug Nut....drag'n. Pieces of them weeds stuck to him, dirt clods and blood shot eyes. What happen to my dog??? Look like someone done spray that pepper stuff in his eyes.....poor little feller. Yes....I washed his eyes out.

Now I have a decision to make. Do I or don't I??? I've had a wonderful visit here at Uncle Bens place, but I can't stay here forever. Another week and he would have me cut'n grass and rak'n leaves. You should see the size of this yard and all the beautiful trees. It's been well worth the "stop off" to spend time with another "old fart". We didn't do much, but we enjoyed every minute of it....."do'n nuttin" ya know.

Will let ya know later if I'm gonna spend another day in Dallas or put "da house" on the road again.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Me an old Uncle Ben took off for town to the hobby shop for some parts for my remote control car. Well, it weren't there. But there was directions in the window to the NEW hobby shop location.....right over there. But what did Ben do, went the other direction...Egypt or somewhere like that. Back to the directions......Ben, look, it's right over there next to Hobby Lobby across the interstate. See, I told you.

Got me a brand spank'n new motor and a gear for the clutch. Put it all back together after we returned to the "Barnyard RV Park" in Lillian, Texas. And that sucker goes fast, run'n into all kinds of stuff in the yard......although Lug Nut is skeered of it. He done headed for the porch under a chair....what I were sit'n in. Climbed up on my back and whispered in my ear..."will you turn that damn thing off"???

Today we was sit'n on the porch and here come this guy all dress up in Harley leathers...cut off glooves and stuff... and a bandana. It were old Bens favorite old best friend "Windy" Bob. Yep, he is a windy old cuss tell'n stories bout bygone years. We had a good old time. I never lied bout nuttin. Always good to meet another old fart in my travels. Nice guy....nice ride.

My stomach was a rumblin', so we drove up the the local BBQ joint. Got us some pretty good eat'n beef samitches. Now it's just bout nap time for old Billy Bob. Had us a little sprinkle shower here a bit ago.....clouds all around us. Maybe it will rain.

I gonna be pull out of here either tomorrow or the next day headed west on I-20 to places I ain't never been. Hmmmmm....wonder what's in Abilene, Texas?

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Boy howdy, I musta slept pretty good last night....that is after spending a couple hours fight'n with the tooth dragon at 2am. Ya see, it's like this.....I were sleep'n real good, dream'n wonderful dreams of sunrises and sunsets on the horizon. Then it happen, I wake up with a split'n headache. I knowed what it was cause I forgot to take a hand full of aspirin before I retired. Got to get these damn ache'n teeth fixed.

It were 8am when Lug Nut woke me up. Holy cows, it's already hot. Put me on a pot of coffee in my brand spank'n new coffee pot. The old one what I cleaned the hair out of a couple months ago finally bit the bullet. Spilled water all over Bens counter. Anyhows, the new one makes a pretty good cup 'o.

Don't know what me and olf uncle Ben gonna do today, but I bet ya a buck, it ain't gonna be much. Too damn hot in Dallas to be outside look'n at stuff. What is there to look at anyhows??? Nuttin wrong with sit'n on the porch sip'n a cup and jaw'n. Then when it get up to 100 degs, we gonna go inside.

Let me tell ya....old uncle Ben sure is a nice guy...once ya get to know how he operates. Was watch'n one them "knife sell'n" ads on the tv and I says...."I need a good knife like that". Ben jumps up and throws a bunch of knives in my lap...."take yer pick". I got me a brand spank'n new knife what will cut anything.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Ya see, it's like this....years ago I was in the Navy stationed on one them big ole war ships. We went to a lot of exciting places what I never expected to see in my life time. My first tour of duty was to Guantanamo during the Cuban Crisis way back in '62. I was on a brand spank'n new destroyer out of Norfolk, Va. with 300 of us sailor boys on board.

We hit a whale one time ya know. That was somewheres in the north Atlantic after we left New York City. That's the home of the "boiler maker" ya know. I mean...4 oclock in the morn'n, people are drink'n boiler makers.

Any hows....back to the Carribean Sea. We visited places like Kingston Jamaica, Ponce, Puerto Rico, San Juan, Puerto Rice, the Bahamas and a bunch of other exciting ports. Yes it's true....a woman in every port. I had taken to drink'n "cheap" stuff...you know, Island homebrews. Tropical fruit flavored wines and beer what made ya walk funny. Sideways most the time.

Time went on.....a cruise to the Mediterranean. You know, Italy, Greece, Spain, France and a 2 day layover in Turkey. When I got back to the States, I was on a different ship. A big ass ship. USS Canberra CAG2.

But this ain't the end of the story. I was hospitalized in Norfolk, Va. when the ship went to Viet Nam, so I was offered to change ships again...to any duty port I wanted. I chose Galveston, Texas aboard an old junk WWII destroyer. USS Haynesworth.

While in Galveston I became a pro at homebrew'n a batch of wine what would make your toes curl up. If ya didn't want your toes to curl, I had some beer that would do the same thing. Dark beer what looked like year old honey.

Anyhows, we took a cruise to the Carribean where I filled a sea bag full of coconuts. "What the hell ya gonna do with all them coconuts Billy Bob"??? Gonna make wine. What I did. It started off look'n like 2% milk ya buy in the supermarket, but then it started to clear. By the time it was crystal clear, I decided it was time to test. HOLY COWS....that crap is strong. Had to mix it with Sprite or anything just to drink it. It was like a bomb.

Ann came over to visit....that was XX's best friend. She said..."can I have a glass of your coconut wine"?? Big grin on my face now....this is gonna be funny. She put that glass to her lips, took a big swig, eyes rolled back and she says...." HOLY SHIT....that crap is strong". The hairs on her arms was stand'n up like she was hit by lightning. Now what to do with 4 gallons of coconut wine.

Bout time for me to go see what old Ben has in store for us today. He came out earlier to change the plug on my electric, but I run his butt slap off. I'm doing fine just like it is. No use chang'n something that works.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Just in case no body knows, old Billy Bob is at Bens casa in Dallas, Texas. I say Dallas cause ain't no one knows where Lillian is at.

Boy howdy, did I ever tell ya bout the time I got lost. I weren't goona look like no dumb ass what was lost and had to ask directions, so's I just gave up and went home.

I call old Uncle Ben yesterday and says..."where the hell am I"??? Of course, he didn't know neither....but he did suggest going on a little further and turn right. Weren't no time and I was almost back where I started from. Oh God, what to do now? Nothing but street names and no hwy numbers. Ok, I pull into a convenience store and ask the nice guy behind the counter...."where Lillian"??? LOL...he had no idea....but a customer did. Five minutes later I was in Lillian following Ben to his casa. He had the back gates open and I said..."boy howdy, that's a small gate for this big ole house to fit through. I were watch'n one side as I pulled through a drainage ditch to the small opening...only inches to spare. Parked right next to the barn and hook up electric, light me up a little cigar and sit back on the couch with a cup 'o and jawed with Ben.

Inside the casa we talked and laughed, met some little 9 year old boy called Noah (the boat builder) and a couple neighbors from Mexico....or some place like that. Then later I met "blondie"....Bens house guest and her AC repairman. LOLOLOL....that guy don't know nutting bout AC's.

Today consisted to more jaw'n with Ben, watch'n the TV and ate up a samitch...JD and scrambled. Bout nap time, I went off to "da house" what was nice and cool. Put the awning out and lay this old skinny body down for a 15 minute nap. Now that was right at 1:30pm and when I waked up it was creep'n up on 4pm. Put on a pot and "bam"....blowed that breaker. Yes it's a 20 amp breaker....probably as old as old Uncle Ben....and weak. But old Billy Bob done figger out what to do. See that 30 amp breaker right under the 20??? Yep...gonna change breaker....unless there is a Home Depot close by.

Ben is off to the store.....and SubWay. Yum yum, we gonna be eat'n some good eat'em up here in a bit. In the mean time.....I ain't gonna do nuttin.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Ya see, it's like this......after driving 8 1/2 hours yesterday, old Billy Bob were wore slap out. I recall one time I said...."I'll never do that again".

Made me up a double meat balony and mustard samwich and a pot of steam'n hot coffee. Layed beck on the couch so's I could relax. Yeah right....the freak'n generator died. Now what??? Anyhows, it got super hot in "da house". Kind of reminded me of the time I was in Terlingua bout this time the year. That was a trip cut short due to extreme heat and me being a "sissy".

Anyhows, I didn't sleep worth a crap last night. Little sweat beads all over my body. I'm tell'n ya, it was hot. Woke up this morning....drenched in sweat. I don't sweat like that. Something ain't right. Had one them headaches what oll Fat Man talks about. Broke out the blood pressure machine and ....yep I were right...something ain't right. With my head spin'n round and round, I says...."try the generator again". That sucker crank up almost long enough for a pot of coffee, but when I turn on AC.....poooof....it died. So here I sit, half a pot of super strong coffee and it's get'n hot again.

Ok....here's the deal. I canceled my trip to Dizzy's Swamp as much as I hated to do so. I'm gonna sit right here in this Texas rest stop till I feel better and then head 'em up west.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Somewhere in LucyAnna. Hell, I don't know where I'm at. I was in Vicksburg, Mississippi an hour or so ago, then it rained. Now let me tell ya bout rain......It rained so hard, the window wipers was flap'n and I couldn't see 50 feets in front me. And there used to be a big 18 wheeler truck up there. Disappeared....pooof....just like that. Weren't no place to pull off so I droped 'er down to 70.....jist smak'n at ya....it were 30. Then there was a big ole 18 wheeler truck done run slap over bout 15 of them orange and white 55 gallon safety cones and a road sign what said......lane ends. Tore up the front that truck something terrible. Backed up traffic for miles and I was slap dab in the middle of it.....for 1 1/2 hour.

If all goes as planned, I will be coming up on a rest area here in about an hour or so. That's where old Billy Bob gonna camp tonight. Maybe. You see, it's like this....some rest areas have been shut down due to the sagging economy. If the rest area is closed, my only other choice is to drive another 50 miles to Mindon, La. They have a Walmart there. And you old Billy Bob when it comes to a Walmart....gotta stop.

Dizzy....email me your phone number. I tried call Ben's number and all I got was some Mexican lady say'n...."hola, hola, hola....no speakie ingleesh". Bet ya a buck I gets a phone call from Ben an hour after I publish this. LOLOLOLOL!!!!!

News Break:
Billy Bob is in Texas. It's 7pm Texas time and I ain't gonna do it again. 8 hours behind tthe wheel is just too much for an old fart like me. Ya see, it's like this....I were go'n down the road bout 60 mile a hour and I get's to the rest area I was gonna camp for the night. Yep, this one shut down too....next rest area 40 miles. Ok, I'll camp there. This one is slap gone....concrete dug up...buildings tore down....nothing there but weeds grow'n where the road used to be. How far to Shreveport....holy cows, another hour and a half.....look'n for Walmart. I were soooo close to the border and a Texas rest area what has wifi, so this is where I are.

See ya in the morning......Dizzy, I need your phone number. Email it to me.....sheesh!!!

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Right bout 8:30 I hears the phone ring (Yahoo messanger). It were old Uncle Ben. He sent me a map to his place think'n old Billy Bob don't know how to find a city the size of Lillian, Texas. It's in Texas right....no problem. After we talked for a bit I had to sign off.....things to do...right? Now it's after 10am and I ain't done nuttin.

I were look'n at my Rand McNally GPS map and figger it's only bout 200 mile or so out of the way to drop by Dizzy's Swamp and then back up to Ben's Barnyard. Then I read Dizzy's daily blog posting, My God Dizzy, it's hot at your house. Did you say 102 deg's? And no electricity??? By the time I get to Shreveport, I should have made up my mind what I gonna do. That's what....bout three days down the road.....LOL.

This is my last post for the next few days....that is unless I go wifi hunt'n. Have ya ever gone hunt'n with a 36 foot motorhome tow'n a big ole jeep?

Monday, August 16, 2010

Boy howdy, these boys, all they want to do is keep their daddy in Georgia.

Ya see, it's like this....bout 7:30 this morning, I was mak'n plans to depart at around 12 noon...you know, "git out of town by high noon". Robert calls, "I'm on my way to help you get ready". and then Ronny calls and says, "I'll be there in an hour". Then grandson Colby, with sleep buggers still in his eyes shows up. Ronny had to leave at noon to go do some work, or something like that. So....Robert says..."ya wanna go play some golf"? And of course you knows what the answer was.

Had a frustrating round of golf...son and grandson beat the pants plumb off'n me. First time...never gonna happen again. I'm gonna take golf ball swak'n lessons. Anyhows, we come back to "da house" and drunk up half my fresh brewed tea and jawed for a bit. You know...father and son stuff....git'n drunk, fish'n and wimmins. Then we attempted to put the slide out in. Just barely made it. Gonna have to get that damn thing fixed. Had Robert not been here I would have had to stay another week. Only thing I have left to do is the Hughes satellite dish, gray water hose, electric cable, turn this big sucker around, hook up "that jeep" and I'm out of here. Departure time around 12 noon to 1pm. That should put me 250 miles down the road to the Information Center in Mississippi...don't ya just love to spell out Mississippi...at about 7pm....or 6pm Mississippi time.

Now, if'n any of ya know a good camp'n spot along my journey headed west, now is the time to speak up. I have nothing better to do and all the time in the world. Speaking of which....what the hell do old folks think about? I can tell ya what this old fart thinks about.....not much. All the things I used to do, I can't do no more. And if'n you're like me, you kind of miss those things. Last night I had a dream that I was out prospecting for gold again. Don't know if'n I found any, but I was dig'n dirt, toss'n it in my gold machine and pan'n out the black sands. Boy howdy, wish I could still do that. But here's what I'm get'n at. All those things you miss now, you did while you was younger....you did it. Now ya got to find something you can do, with all your aches and pains, and quit whin'n bout what ya can't do. Makes sense to me!!!

Just in case some of you think old Billy Bob is dead....nope, not yet. Gonna give this world all the hell I can muster till that day comes. Although....there are days I don't think I'm gonna make it. Just so much going on when ya get older that it seems like life don't have much more to offer. Ah....read above.Ya knows I had open heart a couple years ago....and my freak'n doctor says, "you didn't expect it to last forever did you". Well hell yes I do. $250,000 dollars for a temporary repair....what the hell??? Fix it right the first time and ya don't have to go back and get it done again. Then ya knows I have emphozima (sp..hell if I know how to spell it...ask Dizzy). Lately, I been hav'n bad headaches. Could this be because of my teeth that should have been pulled a year ago? Damn....it's hard get'n old.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Oh Oh, old Billy Bob has made a change in plan. Ya see, it's like this....grandson come over after church and says "ya wanna play golf"? Of course I said no. But then he called my son Robert....so we gonna play golf. Tee time for 4pm. Anyhows, I didn't get my meds yet. So, it's an extra day in beautiful sunshiny Georgia.

Got most everything else taken care of. Was gonna turn "da house" around pointed to I-20, but why?

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Let me see what I can do about updating this blog thingy. I have absolutely nothing to say and that my friends is not right for old Billy Bob. He usually has all kinds of stuff to rant on about.

OK....woke up a few mornings ago and headed off towards the coffee pot. Something didn't feel right. I look down at my feets and I want you lookie here, they are back to normal. Not them big fat things what was down there, but little skinny feets. Now, what the hell is with that? Then I got to think'n.....what caused me to get "fat feet" in the first place? It all started the day after a few hours on the boat with no socks...sunburn right through them sandals. I have zebra feet. Then I look up on google....fat feet...and they say liver, kidneys, too much beer, sit'n too much....ah ha...sit'n too much. Yep, that what I been do'n....sit'n too much. So....I went off to the golf course and played a round. Grandson made me walk too much....but, the very next day, "fat feets" was gone.

Ok, speak'n of swak'n golf balls....grandson Colby come by Wednesday morn'n and says..."ya wanna go play a round"? Well you know old Billy Bob don't turn down no golf game, so's off we went. It was hot....only one tiny cloud in the sky...it was almost lunch time. I were swak'n them golf balls good, putt'n like Tiger and wip'n sweat off'n my brow. Front nine I hit 4 pars and no double bogies.....good score for this course. Then we started on the back nine...all hell broke loose. I were swak'n balls everywhere but where they supposed to go. Ended up with 4 over handicap.....that sucked.

Only two more days to get "da house" on the road. Boy howdy Billy Bob, you got some work to do. How the hell does this place get messed up like it does. Stuff everywhere. Don't ya ever put stuff back where ya found it?

Looks like I will be traveling I-20 back to Deming. Dread this trip. If I was feel'n better, I would take a month to get back, but the way I feel, two days would be perfect. LOL...I can see it now, Billy Bob driving 900 miles a day. Still not 100% sure of the return trip, so don't no body get yer panties in a wad. If I show up at your door at midnight, open the damn door.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Back in '95 when I lived on the boat, I purchased this little mutt dog from my bro in law for free. He took to boat life in nuttin flat. Fell overboard a few times, but that's natural for a dog that can't even speak yet.
Oh, before I forget, JoJo whispered. Ya know how ya tell a dog to speak and he yells at ya with a big loud bark. Well, JoJo would whisper on command. Made a perfect little "0" with his lips and let out this tiny little "WOOOOOO" sound. A teacher from Houston commented to her class that she had met a dog that was quieter than the kiddies were. JoJo was well known through out Texas as the "whisper dog". Even the cops knew JoJo.
If ya want to see JoJo's web page....clicky here...JoJo Superdog.

Boy howdy, only one more week for departure. Rekon I should get busy and clean this place up a bit....just in case. Kind of like wear'n clean underwear. Last time I checked, all systems were "go". Except for the slide out. Don't rekon I'll ever get that fixed....by myself...no one to help...no body cares...ain't got time. Yo Mama is headed off to south Texas tomorrow so I got to find another place to live for a few days. It's hard being homeless with no place to call home. Since Tallapoosa is on my exit route, I'll just go see my son Robert and pester him for a few days. Get my chair he's try'n to steal from me.

Boy howdy, drugs are the best. Yo mama gave me a hand full of antibotics bout four five days ago for my teeth and gum problems. Much better this morning and I actually slept till 5am when I swallered another Dorvocet.. It was dark, couldn't see a damn thing, so turned on a light. Made up a pot and waited for sunshine. That's when my daughter came in and waked me up from an early nap. Damn, I sleep a lot.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

When ya read someone else's blog, ya sometimes get the feeling that your blog is missing something. Then there are others that make ya say..."what the hell"?

Was wandering through Dizzy's wanderings and I said "what the hell"? Seems me and old whiskers has some things in common. If fact, a lot. Everyone knows that we both are retired and own high dollar motor homes. We both travel the southwest and sleep out under the stars. We are both retired ya know, we can do that. We both spent some time prospecting for gold.....hmmmm, look like he found more that I did. My prospecting was in the Radmacher Hills just outside of Ridgecrest, Ca. Didn't find a damn thing. Then I tried Red Mountain, Ca. Boy howdy, there was gold just lay'n on the ground an inch deep. Never did strike it rich, but I did find me a little nugget. Did I say little? Yeah it was little.
Did I ever tell ya bout the time.....I were over in Gohler Canyon dig'n dirt and fount me a pretty good spot. Bout a grain or two an hour. Well, I put all them grains in a little bottle. When I got back to camp, I was gonna weigh my stash....where my little bottle. It were gone, lost forever. Have ya ever go back and try to find the place you was at yesterday. It ain't there no more. Every thing looks the same. Never did find that little bottle or the place I was at yesterday.

Then we both are artists. I started drawing when I was very young. First with crayons....on the walls. After that I progressed to pencils....not on the walls. Drew anything that looked interesting to me. Cartoons, cars and trucks, landscapes, trees, old houses, boats, ships, and neekit wimmins....you know what I'm talk'n bout. Then I changed to paintings. Acrylics. Must'a spent a gazillion dollars on that stuff, but gave it all up 30 years ago. Went back to pencils for a while and in another 2 years, probably back to crayons in the walls.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Boy howdy I gonna tell ya. The sunshine is so bright it shines right through all these trees and heat up "da house" so bad ya wanna go outside. But then bout the time ya get your outside clothes on, it's so hot ya wanna go back inside. I hear lot'a people been dying from this heat wave. So far old Billy Bob still alive sit'n in "da house" with the ac crank'n ice cold air, sip'n a cup and think'n.

Speak'n of think'n, have ya ever thought about where ya would be if it hadn't been for.........???
I been do'n that here lately and shoot, I have no idea where I would be. I probably wouldn't be driv'n around the country in a high dollar motor home with a name like "da house". My idea of high dollar is anything over $100. Ya see, if I hadn't hurt my back a few years ago, I'ld probably be sailing the Carribean pick'n up little island chicks and eat'n lobster every night. But then, if I hadn't went to work and retired from the University of T, I would have never been able to afford the sailboat. Had I stayed in W. Va. I would have probably froze to death by now. See, everything you do effects the rest of your life.

Ain't been a good week for me for the last two weeks. Ya see, I'm get'n older every day and things happen to old folks what young folks don't think about. Now I have a "swolled" foot issue. Both of them. They don't hurt or anything like that, they just swolled up. And then, if ya don't brush your teeth, they gonna give ya hell when ya get older. In my case, I have two what are killing me. Four hours sleep every night don't make for a good day. I got antibotics, aspirin, Ambusol, Orajel and what ever else I can find to relieve the pain of a thousand ball pene hammers beat'n on my head. Damn!!!

Been really quiet here at "Yo Mama's". Grandkids done got tired of "papaw" and only come by for a few minutes. With school started up yesterday, I may not see them till I'm ready to leave. Gonna miss the little buggers.

Talked to old pesky neighbor Wayne the other day. He was on his way to the VA hospital for his check up so he didn't have much to say. Said he'll be glad when I get home so he can pester me and the kids. Boy howdy, I can hardly wait.

Grandson Mack "Bob" stripped out a gear on the remote control car. Ain't no hobby shops anywhere close to where I'm at, so Mack Bob is gonna have to deal with no remote control car to chase the dogs. But I gotta get if fixed before I get back to Deming, so I can chase the quail around the rv park. Now that's funny.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Holy Cows......boy howdy is it hot or what. I was tell'n old Ben how much cooler it was this week....then I went outside. Although I don't pay no mind to this fangled new temp thing call "heat index", yesterday the weather thingy says 109 degs. That's BS when it weren't no more than 95.

Speak'n of 95, my Hughes Net satellite internet connection is right at the bottom of the radar gun. If'n I was on the Interstate they would give me a ticket for "too slow". But anyhows, I emailed their...what ya call it....place to complain, bitch and moan. I'll just call it CBM in the mean time whiles my brain does some re-arrang'n. I got this email back from them what had nuttin to do with what I had done asked them in the first place. Idiots, that what they are, idiots. Well anyhows, they says I have to do a speed test before they can determine if they can help me. Here's what I asked them. "Why is my system on 'flow control'? 'Can I change to a different trannsponder'? ' Do you care about your customers'? No, they didn't answer any of my questions. Technical Support.

Time is winding down for my departure date of Aug 15th. Boy howdy, can hardly wait. If I ever come back to Georgia in the summer time again, I hope it's not summer. But shoot, what choice do I have, the grandkids are out of school. By the way, school starts in 2 days. Now what kind of a deal is that? When I was in school a couple years ago, we didn't go back to school till the first week of Sept. I guess we didn't need as much skool'n back then 'cause we was smarter and learnt faster. Like spell'n an' stuff.

Have ya ever went through a Walmart "backwards"? No, I don't mean walk backwards. I'm talk'n start at the front and work your way to the back. I mean to tell ya, it's an experience. Everything is in the wrong places. Took 2 hours just for a few bags of something to eat. Then I had to push that heavy care all the way back to the front. By the time I made it back to "yo mama's" car....what I couldn't find, I was wore slap out and wanted to lay down.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Gonna take a few minutes out of my super busy schedule to write something.

I didn't catch my 12 pound bass, so any more fish'n is out of the question. There's a little lake right down the road a piece that I thought I might go sit and look at the water....that's all I could do since there are no fish in it other than a few minnows. About the same thing I caught at the BIG lakes.

Back at "Yo Mama"s RV Resort", I have been getting plenty of rest and relaxation. I still have grandkids in and out, but on a less frequent basis. Boy Howdy, I love it.

Will be here for another two weeks before I head'em up for Texas and that little town in New Mexico. Plan to make my journey across Texas a 2 week affair. If I end up on I-20 around the Dallas area, I plan to repay Old Ben a visit for a few days. He mentioned something about free food and lodging. Wonder if his cats will treat my dogs any better than grandkids do. If I happen to be on I-10, do ya rekon old Dizzy Dick would teach me to catch bass in his swamp? Oh wait, that would mean buying another fish license. I have three now.

After sit'n at the lake for a week I did some really hard think'n bout what I gonna do with the rest of my life. Don't know how long that's gonna be, but I want to make the best of what time I have. A little cabin (my RV shelter for "Sally da house") right next to the water with a high dollar 12' aluminum fish'n boat sport'n a 9.9hp powerhouse outboard motor. If the stock market goes up another 10,000 points, I may be able to afford it. In the mean time, I'm look'n for something free. In Texas of course.

The kids got fleas. Somewhere in my travels, Lug Nut and Sadie Mae, have contacted them little blood suck'n critters. On the top of my grocery/stuff list is some Frontline. They don't have it at Walmart, so I have to find a pet center in the area that will sell it without the dogs being present. I'm gonna lie about their weight, so they have to stay home. Did you know, Frontline costs the same if your dog is 10# or 100#?? I'll tell them my dog is 50#'s and split the dosage between the two.

Did I ever tell ya bout the time.....the kids had fleas from south Texas....big Texas fleas...bout the size as cock roaches. I had some "cat" Frontline what I put on Sadie. Holy cows, in 10 minutes, she was foam'n at the mouth like a "mad" dog. Apparently cat Frontline is different from dog Frontline. Yes, I washed it off, but she still had fleas.

Finally got my driver license in the mail. Seems my mail got lost somewhere between the DPS in Texas and the address I requested it be sent to. You don't know how much sleep I lost over that damn license. Thought I was gonna have to go back to south Texas for another 2 or 3 weeks while they hunted it down. Now, if the expired registration on "that jeep" was that easy, I could sleep like a baby. Can't do it online. Don't have time to do it by snail mail, can't do it by phone and hopefully I don't get stopped driving the damn thing. Where my "little red Bronco"???

Let me tell ya what. It's hot in Georgia. You think it's hot in Texas, come visit old Billy Bob. A hunert degrees don't seem hot till you add 80% plus humidity to the equation....then it's hot. Can't wait to get back to the desert where I can cool off.

Now I got to say something about my blog. I know I've been very slack in making posts, but old Billy Bob ain't had nuttin to say that would interest you. Hopes are that by the time I get "on the road again" I will have more interest and have something to make you smile. In the mean time, stick with me, "I'll be back" (Arnold Squishnugger).

About Me

Ya ain't talk'n to an ordinary man when ya view my blog. I'm different.
Retired a few years ago and been "on the road again" ever since. I have a 35 foot motor home what is pretty much self contained for off grid boondocking. I make stuff and enjoy life for what it is.