Russia lost the $50 billion gold medal last night as Vladimir Putin’s party
was wrecked by a middle-aged gatecrasher from Finland.

Alexander Ovechkin, one of the most celebrated sportsmen in Russia and a
friend of the President, had highlighted the importance of the ice hockey
tournament by suggesting the cost of the Olympics was ultimately all about
one event. “The gold only cost $50 billion,” he had remarked, only partly in
jest.

However, Russia lost 3-1 to Finland in the quarter-finals, prompting a chorus
of catcalls and disapproval from the fans packed into the Bolshoi Ice
Palace.