Health.I'm determined not to be a hypochondriac, therefore I will not flail over the potentially life-threatening skin disease I've come down with, but calmly mention in a casual aside this oh-so-inconvenient rash I've developed on my finger tips. It's quite disgusting-

I won’t begrudge other shippers their joy at having their pairing made canon- if I can’t be happy, at least someone else is. [Not like the epic fail of SGA which shot down two main ships and made nobody happy, except for Keller!obsessives]

But I still feel so let down. Season 1 made me have hope, only to be brutally crushed by the new season.

I had a dream that the dvd for the entire season was already out here in Australia [lol, considering it takes months, if not years for a dvd to come out round here] and I was tempted to buy it but then I remembered that it went from the promising multi-shipping aspect of the amazing season 1, which catered to Morgana/Arthur [original!ship], Morgana/Merlin, Morgana/Gwen AND Morgana/Uther [guilty!ship], as well as a gazillion other permutations, to the new and historically-approved Arthur/Gwen. *criz into pillow*

I cannot bring myself to watch it and see the new direction without feeling bitter at what I’ve lost, you know? I’ll pretend it ended at season 1 and just relive the earlier glory. *nodnod*

But then! The silver lining in the cloud! I drag my sorry ass over to my grandmother's place for some TLC and lo! A shiny package in the mail! I check her mail for her as I head on in, and usually it's just junk ads or bills and such, but on Friday, the day I most desperately needed something to cheer me up? My season 1 Castle dvds from the amazing carolune04 arrived. I cannot tell you how ecstatic I was feeling, my mood swung dramatically from 'I want to step in front of a car and let all my worries get smushed into nothing' to 'zomg, the awesomeness! This calls for a marathon and lots of junk food, whee!' *snuggles carolune* Thank you, sweetie! Saying you made my day? Total understatement. You redeemed what was otherwise a terrible waste of oxygen and made it worth getting out of bed at all. ;D

So frakking pissed off.This will teach me not to first read the end of a fic to make sure it's one I can deal with- never will I make that mistake again.200,000 words into the fic and then I find out my ship doesn't frakking stay together.W. T. F. *angsty!flail* All those hours wasted!I'd've rathered it remain unfinished than find out they separate. *snarls*I like my 'happily ever afters', all right? I don't care if it's childish, but if I wanted angst and misery and despair, I'd've stuck with the books, kthxbai. >:[ I don't even have the vocabulary to express how frustrated and disappointed I'm feeling right now. Feel free to lend me your words, I find myself annoyingly inarticulate at the moment.

Also, the father's on leave this week. Imagine my joy. Particularly since we had a battle of wills over the weekend over my fingernails, of all the most frakking petty things ever. I managed to reduce our face time to a mere hour over the two days and yet we still clashed. Takes real talent, no? I just cannot believe I'm 21 years old and he wants to ORDER me to cut my nails or else- the unspoken threat being that I can get out of his house if I don't like it. Lovely. I enjoy living with a control freak ever so much. /rant. ---

Amusing fact of the day.

Definition of 'grangerize:PRONUNCIATION: (GRAYN-juh-ryz)MEANING:1. To mutilate a book by clipping pictures out of it.2. To illustrate a book by adding pictures cut from other books.

LMAO. I kinda want to read a fic about someone teasing Hermione Granger with the definition of her last name. *smirks* The girl worships books and the idea that her last name means to MUTILATE them, well...JKR is one twisted woman [but we knew that already]. Luckily for Hermione, nobody's smart enough to realize it or even think to do research on the matter, so it's unlikely to ever be used against her. *gigglesnorts* Hee. Poor girl.---

I've been listening to a lot of angsty music lately. What can I say, sad songs- especially about unrequited love- 'tis my new favorite genre. I hate it in fic, but love it in music. Hmm.

Hit me with recs, if you feel so inclined. [Pretty please?] Remember, angsty unrequited love. *nodnod* Bonus if it has violins, I'm a sucker for anything with violins, sounds so much more poignant, y'know?---

To maintain the theme, an angsty poem:

Renouncement

I must not think of thee; and, tired yet strong,I shun the love that lurks in all delight-The love of thee- and in the blue heaven's height,and in the dearest passage of a song.Oh, just beyond the sweetest thoughts that throngthis breast, the thought of thee waits hidden yet bright;But it must never, never come in sight;I must stop short of thee the whole day long.But when sleep comes to close each difficult day,When night gives pause to the long watch I keep,And all my bonds I needs must loose apart,Must doff my will as raiment laid awayWith the first dream that comes with the first sleepI run, I run, I am gather'd to thy heart...'

-Alice Meynell

I love the last two lines. I confess to not knowing exactly what this poem means, I can't read poetry, my brain doesn't work that way, but the idea of being around someone you can't be with, and having to wait til your dreams, the only place where you find yourself welcome in their arms...*sighs*---

Summary: Shep and Elizabeth resolve their differences but who wins in the end?Rating: PG. I couldn't write R if I TRIED. >_<Disclaimer: If SGA were mine, Sparky would be canon.

A/N: Aaaand in breaking news, OMG, the alien dude at the center of the whole fight between Lizzeh and Shep finally gets a name! Whee! I suck at devising alien names, but it had to be done…

Additional disclaimer: I take my cue from eps such as Duet and Irresistible, which set the mood here- my ship likes to tease each other. Seriously, Shep is occasionally on par with the little boy pulling on the little girl’s pigtails to show his affection. Or at least, that’s how he is in this chapter. -shrugs-

So random, but I was looking at movies on sale and came across 'The Cutter', featuring JOHN SHEPHERD, a cop-turned-PI who saves a woman called ELIZABETH and gets caught up in some conspiracy and has to shoot a lot of bad guys. I'm sure Sparky fans have already picked up on this, but it amused me greatly.

While I was wasting time in the newsagency, I flicked through the Stargate magazine today, reflecting on how awesome they are for featuring Elizabeth in not one but two articles, dealing with changes in the team and 'in memoriam'. What struck me as particularly amusing was the breakdown of the various characters' personalities and significant developments and noted achievements.

Jennifer Keller:Best known for playing parlor games to pass the time

Elizabeth Weir:Best known for a soft-spoken diplomatic manner* that masks extraordinary courage and resolution.

Yah, tell me again which one deserved to be on the show more? Based on actual MERIT, thanks.

*Which I find amusing considering that when she negotiates, she usually ends up in ass-kicking mode, all feisty and GRRR, so 'soft-spoken' doesn't leap to mind...but maybe they mean in everyday situations, lol.

Summary: In the midst of their 'discussion', Shep has an epiphany about Elizabeth Weir.Rating: Fluffishness creeps in. Still nothing trauma-causing. Disclaimer: If SGA were mine, we'd've had more Sparky focused eps. *nods firmly*

A/N: I’ve been inspired by this quote, “It seems to me that the best relationships- the ones that last- are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is…suddenly the only person you can every imagine yourself with…”

Summary: Elizabeth catches up with Shep, and he can't put off that confrontation he was dreading. Cue drama.Rating: Still fairly tame and non-childhood-trama-causing.Disclaimer: If SGA were mine, I wouldn't need fic to make up for the lack of Weir.

A/N: Disclaimer- I decided to go for a Hot Zone mood in these flashbacks. Lizzie and Shep can't be best friends every hour of the day, after all.

Summary: Elizabeth catches up with Shep. Drama ensues.Rating: Still fairly tame and non-childhood-trama-causing.Disclaimer: I wouldn't be close to a mental breakdown if SGA were under my control and thus, Torri were still full-time.

Title: Take It From MeGenre: humor/friendshipCharacters: Shep, ElizabethRating: PGDisclaimer: SGA is not mine. I treat its characters with more respect, though.Summary: Elizabeth is not in a good mood. Shep braves it anyway, just to make her feel better.

A/N: I wrote this during the heat wave a few weeks back. If I must suffer... XP

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What can I compare you to, a window the sun shines through? Maybe the silver moon, a smile risingThe magic of the fading day, satellites on paradeA toast to the plans we've made to live like kings.

Oh, I know this isn't nice, but I'm in a bad mood, and mocking Sheyla as a ship makes me feel better.

If it bothers you, please don't read it.

So, I was looking up 'The Kindred'- I don't watch season 4, but I want to keep up to date, and came across a John/Teyla-centric analysis of the ep. [link here]

My problem is not so much the INTERPRETATION, because all ships are a matter of perspective and bias, but when you start blatantly ignoring contradictions to your ship, that's when I get involved. I'll admit to the odd vaguely-anti-Sparky moments on SGA, but I find a way to explain them away.

For instance- the Conversion kiss between Shep and Teyla? Is a moment of sexual violation and cannot be described as 'romantic' from any sane perspective, unless a man forcing himself on a woman is a turn-on, in which case, you have problems.

When people don't even mention moments that conflict with their ship, I see that as a sign that they know it's a serious threat to their world-view and acknowledging the moment will ruin their chosen pairing because of the overwhelming evidence in support of another pairing.

Story: Shep figures out how important Elizabeth is to him. Now he just has to convince her to give him a chance. Not so easy given the risks he faces every day in his line of work, and the fact that he’s been avoiding a real relationship all this time, and that they’re both just a little bit broken.

I just found Robin McKinley is here on LJ. God bless technology. You can find just about anyone online these days. I love her book Sunshine [which is my favorite horror/romance] and now I really adore her as a person. I mean, the humor just kills me! And she described exactly how I, as a lowly fanfic writer, feel:

"When I was first writing stories, when I was a kid and through my teens, my great problem (the one that I knew of anyway) was that I could think of terrific beginnings and terrific endings(I believed) but never any middles to stick them together. I found that if I just kept writing the fragments I knew about eventually they got longer and began to bump together in the middle(sometimes with a nasty grinding noise)..."

I was just commiserating with alternate ego the other day about our mutually stalled fics- although once mine stalled, I was the one that just stopped writing altogether, and maybe that was the problem, the longer I left writing alone, the more I doubted my ability to contribute anything worthy of my ship.

So, I'm d/l an SGA ep, because I need new fodder for a vid- it reads as 60 % done and I take off to watch 'Next' in the meantime. Come back an hour later and WHAT DO I FIND? The bloody laptop's gone and restarted itself for some reason, and then a pop-up appears, annoucing proudly that 'new programs were installed and required your laptop be reset' and would I like to view these amazing new modifications and how absolutely thrilled I must be at its efficiency and consideration and OMFGTHERAGE. *seethes*

Sure, laptop, great work. I'm impressed. Never mind how angry I am at having to start d/l from scratch again. Ack.

Help, someone? I'm looking for all the Sparky balcony and desk scenes. I know a few, but I'm not sure if my list is missing something:

Desk: Coup d'Etat, Misbegotten, Vengeance [feet were up on her table in The Return but other people were around so I can't be bothered with it]

Balcony: Rising, BIS, The Tower, Progeny...?

Does Shep have his own office? I read about that in fics now and then. Strange thought, he wouldn't be hanging out there too often, writing reports and whatnot. Administrator!Shep? *chuckles*

So, I finished a new vid, 'Showtime' yesterday. I'm too cheap to buy space to host it on the internet somewhere, so rapidshare links are it. Yay! Yeahhh...I think I'm losing my mind. I had a cup of coke this morning, but it was from McDonald's and diluted with the half cup of ice they put in it, so it didn't really satisfy my needs and damn, am I craving it like crazy right now...remember House detoxing? Or McKay? 'I feel not unlike the priest in the Exorcist' and all? Yep. I'm heading towards that.

Bless the internet. What a wonderful distraction.

Anyway:Song: ShowtimeArtist: Nelly FurtadoStory: Elizabeth wants Sheppard to stop worrying about what people think and just acknowledge their relationship.'Everytime I turn around, you say that you're not checking for love in that wayBut everytime I come around, you seem so ready for thisShowtime, our love's coming outLights, camera, action,Show what we're about'coz it's showtime, our love's breaking outLet's show the world you're my boy, I'm your girl...'