Is it just me?

I'm sorry, but I am starting to find this forum depressing, and not for all the loss, but for the bitterness. I am really sick of women saying they are bitter and jealous and judging other women as to whether they deserve babies based on financial status, marital status, personality, you name it. Even how a baby is conceived (accidental). I find it really sad and I think some women should be embarrassed for being so bitter. Just because we have lost children doesn't mean we can judge others as to their worthiness of being a parent.
Ladies, I only hope that we can be happy for others, every child is a blessing. Don't let your hope turn to bitterness. This forum is so supportive and has been a great help to me, but I just don't won't to be reading so much nastiness talking about SIL and friends who are pregnant and "rubbing it in".... Come on.. Is this high school? I'm sure out loved ones are not trying to make us suffer for our infertility or loss.
Let's be honest with our feelings, but mature.

I'm sorry, but I am starting to find this forum depressing, and not for all the loss, but for the bitterness. I am really sick of women saying they are bitter and jealous and judging other women as to whether they deserve babies based on financial status, marital status, personality, you name it. Even how a baby is conceived (accidental). I find it really sad and I think some women should be embarrassed for being so bitter. Just because we have lost children doesn't mean we can judge others as to their worthiness of being a parent.
Ladies, I only hope that we can be happy for others, every child is a blessing. Don't let your hope turn to bitterness. This forum is so supportive and has been a great help to me, but I just don't won't to be reading so much nastiness talking about SIL and friends who are pregnant and "rubbing it in".... Come on.. Is this high school? I'm sure out loved ones are not trying to make us suffer for our infertility or loss.
Let's be honest with our feelings, but mature.

I apologize if this is at all referring to any of my posts. I posted about being a friend at the doctors who was pregnant a day or two ago. I certainly believe she deserves her baby. Why wouldn't she? and I'm not jealous of her i just wish i were still pregnant. I'm not assuming this is about my posts, but just incase it is, I'm sorry if I've annoyed anyone or upset anyone.

I apologize if this is at all referring to any of my posts. I posted about being a friend at the doctors who was pregnant a day or two ago. I certainly believe she deserves her baby. Why wouldn't she? and I'm not jealous of her i just wish i were still pregnant. I'm not assuming this is about my posts, but just incase it is, I'm sorry if I've annoyed anyone or upset anyone.

In the nicest way possible I disagree! There are plenty of women out there who do not deserve to be mothers! When I was in hospital waiting for my d&c ( I had found out an hour before hand that my baby had no heartbeat) I was on a small ward of only 4 beds the women opposite me had an ectopic pregnancy and then there was a women next to me who was 8 weeks pregnant and experiencing stomach pains! Everytime the nurse walked by she would scream out in pain but as soon as they passed she shut up?? When the doctor was there asking her questions about previous pregnancies she had 3 kids and she had a miscarriage they went on talking about her pain then she commented oh by the way I forgot I had 2 abortions too! After the doctor left I over heard her and her friend talking she said I know I've been drinking alot and smoking but that's it!! Her friend then said don't forget the crack u took the other night!! I would happily say that this women doesn't deserve to be a mother! I was lying there trying to come to terms with my loss I done everything right I wanted my baby more than anything and this women neglects herself let alone her unborn child! Every body is different but I can't say that I feel the same as you do! It's been 4 months since my loss and Im still sensitive about it! You are very lucky that you don't feel any jealousy or upset by women who get what you crave even though there not that fussed or it was an accident whatever there personal circumstances are but I believe it is perfectly normal to feel this way it is just part of the grieving process! I hope one day I won't feel like this but I can't change how I feel I just try to deal with it as best as I can!
X x x x x x x x

In the nicest way possible I disagree! There are plenty of women out there who do not deserve to be mothers! When I was in hospital waiting for my d&c ( I had found out an hour before hand that my baby had no heartbeat) I was on a small ward of only 4 beds the women opposite me had an ectopic pregnancy and then there was a women next to me who was 8 weeks pregnant and experiencing stomach pains! Everytime the nurse walked by she would scream out in pain but as soon as they passed she shut up?? When the doctor was there asking her questions about previous pregnancies she had 3 kids and she had a miscarriage they went on talking about her pain then she commented oh by the way I forgot I had 2 abortions too! After the doctor left I over heard her and her friend talking she said I know I've been drinking alot and smoking but that's it!! Her friend then said don't forget the crack u took the other night!! I would happily say that this women doesn't deserve to be a mother! I was lying there trying to come to terms with my loss I done everything right I wanted my baby more than anything and this women neglects herself let alone her unborn child! Every body is different but I can't say that I feel the same as you do! It's been 4 months since my loss and Im still sensitive about it! You are very lucky that you don't feel any jealousy or upset by women who get what you crave even though there not that fussed or it was an accident whatever there personal circumstances are but I believe it is perfectly normal to feel this way it is just part of the grieving process! I hope one day I won't feel like this but I can't change how I feel I just try to deal with it as best as I can!
X x x x x x x x

Ps I don't think that it's always women intending to be horrible! But family members and friends who haven't experienced a loss have no idea how u feel my sil has just had a baby and she is lovely but my family have no idea how I feel about it so they just brush it under the carpet! I choose not to moan about it on here but like I said each to there own! I just think people should be allowed to say what they feel and if i personally think that it's not what I want to hear I just done read it! Please please please don't think I'm being rude because I'm not I'm glad u feel this way!
X x x x

Ps I don't think that it's always women intending to be horrible! But family members and friends who haven't experienced a loss have no idea how u feel my sil has just had a baby and she is lovely but my family have no idea how I feel about it so they just brush it under the carpet! I choose not to moan about it on here but like I said each to there own! I just think people should be allowed to say what they feel and if i personally think that it's not what I want to hear I just done read it! Please please please don't think I'm being rude because I'm not I'm glad u feel this way!
X x x x

I can see both sides to this coin. Surely these women who post about being jealous don't want to be but I bet it's a very real part of the process of learning to deal with it. There are lots of questions and feelings that arise when ttc and I think trying to keep a positive or light hearted approach is helpful. I don't think there is a right or wrong way to go about it. I wouldn't recommend a pity party but if that's what one lady thinks she need then I think we should still be supportive because she's obviously not in a good space at that time.

I can see both sides to this coin. Surely these women who post about being jealous don't want to be but I bet it's a very real part of the process of learning to deal with it. There are lots of questions and feelings that arise when ttc and I think trying to keep a positive or light hearted approach is helpful. I don't think there is a right or wrong way to go about it. I wouldn't recommend a pity party but if that's what one lady thinks she need then I think we should still be supportive because she's obviously not in a good space at that time.

When we (people) are hurting, we tend to lash out at others. It's part of human nature. Anger and jealousy are part of the grieving process and each woman handles it differently. Even my husband gets mad when sees or hears about people making bad decisions when it comes to the health of their babies. I personally have just hit the anger stage because at work (I work for the Catholic Church) we get regular updates from our pro-life office and it makes me angry to hear about women who choose to kill their babies instead of cherishing the gift they've been given. It makes me question why God gave them a baby, but took mine.

When we (people) are hurting, we tend to lash out at others. It's part of human nature. Anger and jealousy are part of the grieving process and each woman handles it differently. Even my husband gets mad when sees or hears about people making bad decisions when it comes to the health of their babies. I personally have just hit the anger stage because at work (I work for the Catholic Church) we get regular updates from our pro-life office and it makes me angry to hear about women who choose to kill their babies instead of cherishing the gift they've been given. It makes me question why God gave them a baby, but took mine.

You know what. I'm sorry I wrote that now. It was insensitive of me. Everyone deals with things differently. I've actually hit a wall this afternoon. I have a lunch tomorrow with 3 of my friends that are pregnant, one 4 weeks in front of where I should be and one 4 weeks behind. I'm happy for them, but so scared of how I'll deal with seeing them. I feel like such an idiot. What a mess my feelings are right now.

You know what. I'm sorry I wrote that now. It was insensitive of me. Everyone deals with things differently. I've actually hit a wall this afternoon. I have a lunch tomorrow with 3 of my friends that are pregnant, one 4 weeks in front of where I should be and one 4 weeks behind. I'm happy for them, but so scared of how I'll deal with seeing them. I feel like such an idiot. What a mess my feelings are right now.

Hi Bree, don't stress yourself out about your post. You have some very valid points, and I don't think anyone was truly offended. And don't worry - you haven't forfeited your right to feel angry or jealous OR your right to come here and vent about it if your lunch today with your friends doesn't go well! Lunch with three pregnant friends right after a loss - yikes! I hope they are compassionate and that you have a wonderful, healing time with them. Please let us know how it goes - I will be thinking of you today. Your post did remind me, however, of a couple of ladies who were on here a while ago who were so deeply angry, bitter and hopeless that to this day I fear for their safety and wellbeing. If they'd stayed with the board a little longer, maybe they would have eventually found some comfort, but they almost seemed determined to be miserable. That WAS very depressing. Hugs to you, Miss Bree...thinking of you.

Hi Bree, don't stress yourself out about your post. You have some very valid points, and I don't think anyone was truly offended. And don't worry - you haven't forfeited your right to feel angry or jealous OR your right to come here and vent about it if your lunch today with your friends doesn't go well! Lunch with three pregnant friends right after a loss - yikes! I hope they are compassionate and that you have a wonderful, healing time with them. Please let us know how it goes - I will be thinking of you today. Your post did remind me, however, of a couple of ladies who were on here a while ago who were so deeply angry, bitter and hopeless that to this day I fear for their safety and wellbeing. If they'd stayed with the board a little longer, maybe they would have eventually found some comfort, but they almost seemed determined to be miserable. That WAS very depressing. Hugs to you, Miss Bree...thinking of you.

I can't help but feel that what I posted has part to do with this conversation...... I had to let out what I was feeling even if some of you think it s "childish" I don't think this group states what it is that you can write or not write? I thought this group was for us to express what it is we are feeling with out being judged? I don't want to be mean, I don't want to hurt anyone . I felt that this was a positive way to help me cope with the feelings I have, to have some what of a release from what I've been holding in. I am truly sorry for everyone's loss, I can not believe how so many woman have had to go through this .

I can't help but feel that what I posted has part to do with this conversation...... I had to let out what I was feeling even if some of you think it s "childish" I don't think this group states what it is that you can write or not write? I thought this group was for us to express what it is we are feeling with out being judged? I don't want to be mean, I don't want to hurt anyone . I felt that this was a positive way to help me cope with the feelings I have, to have some what of a release from what I've been holding in. I am truly sorry for everyone's loss, I can not believe how so many woman have had to go through this .

Oh please don't feel bad! I think we just wanted both sides of the story posted. That way no one was wrong for feeling any particular way. I'm so sorry there is a need for a board like this but I'm sure we will all agree this a group of the strongest women anyone will ever meet! I hope we get every blessing we are asking for! Take care!!

Oh please don't feel bad! I think we just wanted both sides of the story posted. That way no one was wrong for feeling any particular way. I'm so sorry there is a need for a board like this but I'm sure we will all agree this a group of the strongest women anyone will ever meet! I hope we get every blessing we are asking for! Take care!!

I think it's just such a sensitive subject. I understand both sides here. I've had 4 miscarriages and it's hard after everything to not be slightly bitter. Not bitter of everybody, but just of those who don't even care about being pregnant and refuse to take care if themselves while pregnant. It's just hard to look at them and not be a little bitter and keep wondering why our bodies failed. There is a long process of grieving and moving on and I think this is just one of those parts of it! People on this thread understand loss and it's honestly one of the only places we can go to talk about what has happened and what we are feeling. Sometimes feelings can be irrational, but we need to discuss it to get through it all.

I think it's just such a sensitive subject. I understand both sides here. I've had 4 miscarriages and it's hard after everything to not be slightly bitter. Not bitter of everybody, but just of those who don't even care about being pregnant and refuse to take care if themselves while pregnant. It's just hard to look at them and not be a little bitter and keep wondering why our bodies failed. There is a long process of grieving and moving on and I think this is just one of those parts of it! People on this thread understand loss and it's honestly one of the only places we can go to talk about what has happened and what we are feeling. Sometimes feelings can be irrational, but we need to discuss it to get through it all.

You shouldn't feel bad. You were right. And I'm glad you aren't one of those jealous women. There were a lot of jealous women when I was pregnant with my boy. It wasn't my fault I was pregnant. I didn't even plan him but he was still a blessing. And I love him very much. I believe the more jealous you are the more likely you are not to have a child. You should always feel happy for people because I'm sure if you were in their shoes you wouldn't be jealous. People are only jealous because they chose to be. So do not feel bad bree. And I hope you have as many babies as you want! Lots of baby vibes to you from myself and my LO.

You shouldn't feel bad. You were right. And I'm glad you aren't one of those jealous women. There were a lot of jealous women when I was pregnant with my boy. It wasn't my fault I was pregnant. I didn't even plan him but he was still a blessing. And I love him very much. I believe the more jealous you are the more likely you are not to have a child. You should always feel happy for people because I'm sure if you were in their shoes you wouldn't be jealous. People are only jealous because they chose to be. So do not feel bad bree. And I hope you have as many babies as you want! Lots of baby vibes to you from myself and my LO.

Please note that it is courteous to be mindful of everyone's feelings. We are here to support one another as we deal with grief. We are not here to play the who's right and who's wrong game. There is no definitive way to feel after a loss.

Please note that it is courteous to be mindful of everyone's feelings. We are here to support one another as we deal with grief. We are not here to play the who's right and who's wrong game. There is no definitive way to feel after a loss.

Well I just got back from the lunch and it was hard, but lovely. I have beautiful friends, they are glowing and it was lovely to see them, but also hard thinking it would have been me has things not gone wrong.

Well I just got back from the lunch and it was hard, but lovely. I have beautiful friends, they are glowing and it was lovely to see them, but also hard thinking it would have been me has things not gone wrong.

I know it's hard! I'm glad you had a good time. It's so hard to not think about the what ifs. It was really brave of you to go. I just got a new niece last weekend. Although I wasn't dreading her arrival I was dreading the feelings it would stir up. I did surprise myself how well I did. We are strong coragrous women and when we do get our babies it's going to be that much more amazing! Baby dust to you

I know it's hard! I'm glad you had a good time. It's so hard to not think about the what ifs. It was really brave of you to go. I just got a new niece last weekend. Although I wasn't dreading her arrival I was dreading the feelings it would stir up. I did surprise myself how well I did. We are strong coragrous women and when we do get our babies it's going to be that much more amazing! Baby dust to you

Hi, I'm Lindsey. I have just experienced my fifth miscarriage. I was just wondering how you cope. I'm feeling very alone and scared and just need to hear from someone who actually DOES know what I'm feeling. Thx

Hi, I'm Lindsey. I have just experienced my fifth miscarriage. I was just wondering how you cope. I'm feeling very alone and scared and just need to hear from someone who actually DOES know what I'm feeling. Thx

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