In order to try to pump
some energy into their dull sport, baseball announcers are constantly reminding
their viewers that they are witnessing history:

"You saw it here
first, folks! That is the first time a third baseman has thrown two balls into
the stands in the same inning! Wow, some lucky fan has a valuable
souvenir. . . . Wait a minute, folks. Our statistician is telling me that
this is not the first time that has happened. . . . Has it ever happened
in this ball park? Oh. In the third inning? . . . Un-huh, but
was it a day game?. . . So there you have it folks, we have confirmed
that this is the first time in baseball history that a National League third
baseman has thrown two balls into the stands in the same inning during an
inter-league day game played in an American League park in the year that he is
due to become a free agent! Wow! Imagine that!"

And so, according to this view of history, Phillies' Slugger Ryan Howard
(pictured) made history, as reported on CNN.com, when he hit his 200th
home run in his 658th major league game, making him the fastest
player to reach the milestone, besting the previous record by 48 games.It is a great achievement, but I’m not
sure if it is really one for the history books, even if CNN says it is.The lucky fan to retrieve the ball was
12-year-old Jennifer Valdivia, who apparently bested her 17-year-old brother in
the treasure hunt.

An official from the home team, the Florida Marlins, then reportedly
escorted Jennifer and her brother to the Phillies’ dugout.There, CNN reports that the following transaction occurred:

A
Phillies employee, Jennifer says, told her if she handed over the ball, she
could come back after the game, meet the slugger and get him to autograph it.
She gave the ball up. In exchange, she got cotton candy and a soda.

Alas,
after the game, she and her family went to the Philllies’ clubhouse as
directed, but Ryan Howard never showed up. A security guard gave her a signed ball, but it wasn’t the ball. Jennifer testified that she was, “like, really sad.” Jennifer’s mother was more than sad,
she was “steamed.” Eventually, she
was also represented by an attorney who, through the alchemical processes in
which attorneys specialize, metamorphosed anger and disappointment into a legal
claim for $15,000. The Phillies’
and Howard’s resistance were thereby overcome. They returned the home run ball to Jennifer and also paid
her attorney's fees.

Jennifer says that she
intends to keep the ball and to show it to her kids. I hope she does, rather than selling it. As CNN notes, letting fans keep balls
is a way of letting them connect with their baseball heroes. We ought not to put a price tag on
being a part of history.