Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Our infamous IL State Representative Sara Feigenholtz never bothered to respond to many concerns about HB 4623. But yet she/her staff spammed many who never received a reply - to invite them to a Chicago Cubs game. It seems to me that e-mail addresses were collected with the intent that she might gain more contributors. It certainly does not seem that someone is the brightest crayon in the box, does it? I've heard the excuse that it was a technical problem. Sorry, I've been using a computer and been subscribed to Internet mailing lists for too many years to believe it. What I truely believe is that Feigenholtz "Feign" could care less what triad members have to say against HB 4623. She only cares about those who are profiting from the CI Program so wants to keep it intact. She only cares about those who have something to hide so are opposed to a true open records bill in Illinois. Her website URL was misspelled but "Feign" does describe her well.

My personal reply to "Feign":

"You don't seem to be at all interested in replying to those among the adoption community about their concerns with HB 4623 as it was originally written. But yet you have extended an invitation to some of these same people to attend a Cubs game with you. You are unbelievable and not a person that I would even cross the street with, let alone attend a Cubs game with."

Go Cubs and bat "Feign" right out of Wrigley Field and into a different occupation. She is a disgrace to the IL House of Representatives.

Monday, June 9, 2008

As some legislators in IL uphold the Confidential Intermediary (CI) program I often mutter to myself as to how much help they would have been to me. A kind sympathetic judge opened my court file to me during the early years of my search because my M.D. felt it might help to learn my origins. There was no more information in it than what was on my adoption decree. So I know for a fact that my court records would not have led a CI to my birth mother. My birth mother's given name and surname is so common and her middle initial was not on the adoption decree. Maybe Catholic Charities would have given a CI my birth mother's birthdate but I suspect they would not have. I can't imagine Catholic Charities' social workers being too cooperative about providing identifying information to a CI. I suspect a CI would have taken money from me and then said, "sorry, your birth mother's name is just so common that it is impossible to complete your search". I recall too well how a professional searcher who I consulted finding it hilarious that I would pursue a search for a woman with such a common name and not even knowing her middle initial. A CI might not have laughed but completing my search, I highly doubt it. It was a search that required alot of digging, grasping, and going with my gut feeling. A CI would not have done that.

I feel blessed that I never went through the IL CI program. The stories that I've heard about them are not good. They seem to have no regard for the feelings of the adoptee. They don't represent the adoptee in a capable manner.

One has to wonder too how many birth mothers who refused contact might not have if it had been their son or daughter contacting them instead of a cold CI. Some birth mothers need some time to adjust to the shock of being found and some need time to think about how they will tell family members about their long kept secret. For an adoptee to contact their birth mother an agreement can be reached that the birth mother will return their call at a later time but the door is not shut forever like it can be with a CI calling the birth mother. But I have found that the majority of birth mothers do want to be found. They want records opened so their offspring can find them. Some have been looking to no avail but then an adoptee's entire name is often changed by the adoptive parents.

So let's do away with the IL CI program - it is past time for records to be opened in IL.

Welcome to My Blog

For over 30 years now I've been an advocate for open records. I had a good adoptive home. My father was killed in a freak accident when I was two years old. But my mother remarried and my step-father treated me as if I were his biological daughter. In 1997 the search for my birth family was completed. My birth parents died during my 20 plus year search. I've had a great reunion with siblings and other birth relatives. I want other searching adoptees to complete their searches. Open records laws in all states would make the task easier. Over the years I've conversed with many triad members and the majority have wanted laws so that all adoptees can request and receive their original birth certificate.

About Me

During a 20+ year search for my birth mother, I provided the AdopTriad BBS. I was the founder of Insight to The Adoption Triad, a search and support group in OH (Columbus and Delaware areas). For many years I helped numerous adoptees and birth parents throughout the U.S. with their searches and provided support during and afterwards. Although I'm not as active today I am the list owner for FamAdopt (Yahoo eGroups)and continue to offer advice and provide support. I'm currently writing a book about my own search and reunion since I do feel that it will be inspiring to many. This blog was started because I do feel the violation of the rights of adoptees needs to be more widely known in the hope that it will lead legislators to opening records in the majority of the states that still have closed records. ALL adoptees deserve their original birth certificate, just as those not personally touched by adoption obtain their OBC with no questions asked and are not denied this link to their heritage.