I rarely say this, but I think it's time to block her completely and walk away. She sounds like ten pounds of nuts in a five-pound bag.

POD!

I understand that it's been hard for them to have the child they've wanted so badly, but that doesn't mean that your friends, family, and the world owe you something. When you make the decision to have a child, you also take responsibility of providing for that child. How about THEY quit going to the bar and to the movies in order to save for "A Home For Baby"?

Logged

"Some of the most wonderful people are the ones who don't fit into boxes." -Tori Amos

(2) If she has noticed that I blocked her there is no indication, though it seems she may have caught on that people aren't going to just give her money. I get a mass email about how she's considering a new "business opportunity" (though she assures us its nothing "tacky" like a product party) and asking her "girls" for a favor. I don't think I will be responding.

Perhaps you could send her a concerned note, suggesting, since Baby has proved to be such a heavy financial burden, that there are many loving childless couples out there and that it's not too late to be considering adoption. That's one way the village could help.

That should put a stop to any begging requests, anyway.

Logged

"A true gentleman is one who is never unintentionally rude." - Oscar Wilde

Perhaps you could send her a concerned note, suggesting, since Baby has proved to be such a heavy financial burden, that there are many loving childless couples out there and that it's not too late to be considering adoption. That's one way the village could help.

Perhaps you could send her a concerned note, suggesting, since Baby has proved to be such a heavy financial burden, that there are many loving childless couples out there and that it's not too late to be considering adoption. That's one way the village could help.

That should put a stop to any begging requests, anyway.

I like this.

Except that adoption can cost as much as fertility treatments so I am sure her next move would be a "Subsidize my Adoption" campaign.

Perhaps you could send her a concerned note, suggesting, since Baby has proved to be such a heavy financial burden, that there are many loving childless couples out there and that it's not too late to be considering adoption. That's one way the village could help.

That should put a stop to any begging requests, anyway.

I like this.

Except that adoption can cost as much as fertility treatments so I am sure her next move would be a "Subsidize my Adoption" campaign.

I thought adoption for the birth parents is virtually free - it is the adoptive parents that would have to pay something.

But that is a very mean spirited thing to do and I would think less of someone who actually came out and said it.

Perhaps you could send her a concerned note, suggesting, since Baby has proved to be such a heavy financial burden, that there are many loving childless couples out there and that it's not too late to be considering adoption. That's one way the village could help.

That should put a stop to any begging requests, anyway.

I like this.

Except that adoption can cost as much as fertility treatments so I am sure her next move would be a "Subsidize my Adoption" campaign.

I took the adoption comment to mean that if she and her DH can't provide for her baby themselves, that there are many childless couples who would love to adopt her child, and then if she turned over the baby to one of them, she wouldn't have the financial burden. Not that they should adopt a child instead of procreating themselves.

Blunt, yes. But it sounds like this woman needs a heavy dose of 'blunt'. It's kind of a nuclear bomb of 'if you don't want to deal with the expenses of YOUR child, then this is how to get out of it' and 'if you don't want to do that, then shut up about it already'.

The funny thing about "it takes a village" is that originally it also implied the the village would help *raise* the kid. But I rather guess that the mother here would flip out if one of these 'villagers' tried to help raise her kid by, oh, correcting their manners or offering parenting advice!

Wait - why would you be charged postage? Doesn't the post office return it to the sender for additional postage?

Not always. I sent out printed invitations for the book club meeting I was hosting in my home. Despite there being only one card inside the enveloped, the postage was a tad higher than regular first class mail. One of the invitations came back to me with insufficient postage. The rest were delivered with postage due. I was so very, very embarrassed.

Perhaps you could send her a concerned note, suggesting, since Baby has proved to be such a heavy financial burden, that there are many loving childless couples out there and that it's not too late to be considering adoption. That's one way the village could help.

That should put a stop to any begging requests, anyway.

This sounds rude - but I'm all for it.

Another thought is to just flat out say - please stop begging for help buying you a home and paying to raise your child. Get off your butt, get back to work and support yourself like REAL MOMS do.

Geez, some people just don't know how incredibly gimme piggish they sound, I know we say it's rude to call someone on their rude behavior, but really, here is one occasion where it should be allowed, even encouraged. Even if you do it anonymously.

I would think about emailing the husband a brief note about the fundraising asking if he was aware of it. I can see it going badly for him professionally (not to mention her!) if that were to come under review by a future or present boss.