Like locavores, faravores are people who pay attention to the origin of their food. They are committed to variety and eating food from as many faraway places as possible. They support what they consider “real” farmers.

“Real farmers are men in overalls with fields and pastures and tractors. This is where we want our food to come from. I don’t trust these locavore Brooklyn nuts with their hand-fed, backyard goats and their rooftop lettuces. It’s disgusting. It’s like breaking the ten-second rule on a New York City street and serving it up on a plate for $27.95.”

Gulvey continued, “I’m sorry, but I don’t want to eat a chicken you ordered online and had shipped to your little urban coop. And I definitely don’t want some nasty cock-fighting bird you bought off a guy underneath the Major Deegan. Faravore is about quality and selection. I support farmers who let their chickens run and roam. But they should do it in Iowa or Nebraska or somewhere with plenty of open space.”

When asked what brought him to organize, Gulvey did not hesitate.

“Coney Island Caviar, if you can believe it. I was at Met Foods on Fulton Street and they were giving away samples. Normally, I’m a big sample guy but you’ve got to be kidding me. I get the Russian influence of the neighborhood and all. But caviar should not come from Coney Island. Those are infected waters down there. It was like a lightning bolt struck me, I knew I had to do something. I don’t care how long it takes or how many gallons of gas are wasted or how many trees are chopped down, the caviar I eat will come from the Black Sea or even the Caspian. That’s the moment I became a faravore.”

Brooklyn Faravore will be holding their first rally at the Grand Army Plaza Greenmarket this Saturday, May 28th from 12-2PM. Supporters are encouraged to wear red. “Send It To Me!” and “Far For Me!” signs will be distributed.