JUST LEAVE ME ALOOONNNNEEEEEEE!!!!! EYELID!!!!!!

I’m stuck in this very awkward situation. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about it. I can’t say what or who is involved because I was sworn to secrecy, and yet I’m the one in the middle of the whole thing. This sucks.

My eye is swollen again. FUCKING OW! This is the second time. I’m beginning to think that I should just cut the fucking things right off (not that it would help with the ol’ insomnia much. Lame. I look like quasi modo. If I keep a cloth on my eye with freezing cold water on it the swelling goes down… but then who would see my eye. I hate this. GRRRR! I think I got bit by something.

Just a universal message to all the guys in the world out there: I AM NOT AVAILABLE!!!! OKAY?!?!?!! I DON’T CARE IF YOU THINK YOU’RE THE PRO HOMEWRECKER!!! YOU HAVE NO CHANCE!!! PICK SOMEONE ELSE! I DON’T LIKE ANY OF YOU THAT WAY!!!!! And there is nobody…. NOBODY who knows me better than Steve does.

We have a complicated relationship, but relationships– especially the strong ones– are just LIKE that. It doesn’t mean we don’t understand each other, it doesn’t mean we don’t have the perspective to comprehend each other… our perceptions are just different. It doesn’t matter WHAT your connection with another person is… sometimes your differences snag… but relationships need that. It’s called passion.

Simone asked me to babysit for her tonight. I think if Steve doesn’t come with me I’ll just babysit alone. I don’t feel like being around my friends right now. (Not that I don’t like you all).