Your End of Week Topic Dump, vol. 441

You know what really gripes my ass? When people leave all their trash on the table at a fast food restaurant, and just walk out the door. It’s not really any of my business, I’m not going to be the one who has to clean it up or anything, but it makes my blood boil nonetheless.

In fact, I’ll probably get my butt kicked because of it someday. The arrogant, antisocial pricks. I always hope they’ll turn the key in their car, and instantly find themselves inside a roaring ball of fire. Is that wrong?

A few days ago I read two separatereviews of the new Madness album, calling it the best of their career. In 2009? Seriously? I had to hear it, but Amazon only had a British import for some enormous amount of money.

So, going out on a limb, I clicked over to eMusic, and they actually had it. Cool! I had about 25 credits in the bank there, and downloaded the full album five minutes after deciding I wanted it. My cost? Roughly $4.86.

And today eMusic deposited 10 free credits in my account, calling it a “loyalty bonus.” I think I’ll use them to grab the new Yo La Tengo album, or something by Husker Du.

Somebody, I can’t remember who, was ripping eMusic in the comments a few days ago, saying they “straight-up suck.” Needless to say, everybody’s entitled to their opinion. And mine just happens to be the exact opposite of the commenter’s. Suck? Maybe in a world where black is white, up is down, and Bill Maher is funny.

And the new Madness? Yeah, it’s shockingly good.

I was talking with a guyrecently who told me several interesting things.

He said he once worked on a crew picking “bell peppers,” with a bunch of Amish men. And they reportedly perform personal hygiene like it’s 1699. Just thought you’d want to know.

He also told me he recently got into an argument with an 85 year old man at a VFW hall. The old guy was berating him for only having fought in the first Gulf War, when he’d been in World War II.

After some discussion, it was learned that the Gulf War guy had two Purple Hearts, and the old man had repaired typewriters somewhere in New Jersey during 1944 and 1945. But WWII still trumped the Gulf War, so there.

A lot of people try to do all the talking when they’re shooting the shit with somebody they just met. But I prefer to do most of the listening; it’s a hell of a lot more fun.

At my job they’re collecting backpacks for a children’s charity, some kind of back to school deal. But they specify, very strongly: no red backpacks. WTF? What’s that all about? Does it have something to do with gang colors? It’s the only explanation I can come up with. I’m fairly confused here.

I recently heard someone on George Noory’s radio show claim that as many as 150 species become extinct every day. Of course, he was talking about molds and spores, as well as animals.

But it got me to thinking… What “species” would you like to see go away forever? You know, if Mother Nature took requests like an FM radio station? I’ll get the ball rolling with gnats. Gnats, which insist on using my neck and eyeballs as a discotheque all summer. God, how I hate them.

What do you say? What creatures would you like to see go fully extinct? And please remember, we’re only playing around here. There’s no need to lecture me on my insensitivity. Plus, it wouldn’t do any good.

While I was having lunch today (Triple Lindy burrito and root beer), I started thinking about something I said many years ago that got a lot of strong reaction, and definitely rates as one of my Greatest Hits. In my opinion, anyway.

When I worked for The World’s Largest Record Company, in Atlanta, somebody called in a bomb threat one afternoon. We were instructed to exit the building, and wait on the parking lot while the authorities conducted an investigation.

It was winter and cold, and they kept us out there for a long, long time. Everybody was shivering and complaining, and I finally shouted, “Aw come on, let us back in! The only bomb in that building is the new Madonna album!!”

Everybody laughed, except the people who worked directly for Warner Records. For some reason they didn’t care for my “comedy.” Heh.

I don’t know why that popped into my head today, but I thought I’d share. I usually beat myself up during lunch, remembering past failures and humiliations. So, it was a pleasant change of pace.

And speaking of failures and humiliations, I’ve got a t-shirt cluster copulation on my hands. I’ve got orders piled up for three different styles of shirt now, and several requests for size changes, etc.

I’m not complaining, mind you. I appreciate every order, sincerely. But it’s a mess, and I’m going to have to devote some time to it, or I’ll end up sending out wrong sizes and whatnot. So, please bear with me. I’ll get it all organized over the weekend. Sorry for the delay.

I need a freakin’ intern, or somebody else I can exploit fully.

And if you want one (or more) of our three shirts, here’s yer page. Thanks for the continued support!

Today’s October 1 already. Have you done any Christmas shopping yet? I think Toney has. Needless to say, I won’t even start to think about it until about December 15. What about you? Are you the disgustingly prepared type?

I’ll leave you now with a Question from the Stealing Clive Bull‘s Topics desk. I’d like to know what one Super Hero power you’d like to have, if you could choose. I’d definitely go with invisibility, although the power of flight wouldn’t be too shabby, either.

Comments

30 miles south — great choice of superpower. I’d love to be able to say anything I wanted to whomever I wanted, and when they took a swing or popped off a few rounds, I could roll around laughing my fat ass off as their heads explode from the anger and frustration. Priceless entertainment.

Or maybe I would just become a talking “cadaver” for medical interns. Imagine how surreal it would be to have an instructor slicing open her own gut and explaining how to do an appendectomy as she performs the procedure on herself.

Dunno what the red pack back thing is all about. The only color specific weirdness I had to deal with was a contract rider when my night club wanted to book “Otis Day and the Knights.” (Animal House fame. The contract specified in bold print, “No green gels on spotlights are to be focussed on Otis.” That was no big deal, but the “One dozen red roses are to be placed in the dressing room for Otis’ 13 year old niece who is traveling on tour with him.”
Have a great weekend all. As for me, it’s back to working the night shift, after spending the day on Grand Jury duty. Unfortunately, as a member of a Grand Jury, I am sworn to secrecy…otherwise I would so totally write up my experience for a Friday guest shot at mockable.org. Suffice to say, if you drink, don’t be stupid. If you are stupid to start out with, don’t drink.

Brynhildr…I’ve been gone all all day and just read your you to me. I was speaking from my experience and homework (ableit somewhat lacking I guess) and the fact I had to tell the ‘Doctor’ here what I had, and I was right. I do know contact is a tricky thing and I did not go into all the stuff I “learned”. Believe me…I was a mess! So anyway…yeah…fuck them and skunks!…hope we’re cool here.

I’m up on the third floor again watching the Rockies and the Dodgers.

Superpower?…Knowing what the fuck I’m talking about on any subject. (except opera and poetry). (and pantyhose).

Well, my one super power that is all to real is to repel the people I feel the closes to away from me. The unfortunate fact is that this power is all to real and so I resend to my seclusion again.

30 miles south – Be careful for what you ask for. Some super powers are not for humans, we have these frailties for a reason. We hurt, we bleed because of compassion for one another not because we want to hurt.

So with that said, I will say no more. I relinquish my role to whomever may follow. This was not meant for me. I am a loner and I am at peace with that. With tears in my eyes, good bye surf reporters. Good bye all.

Did anyone else hear about this new book written by a former employee of the company freezing Ted Williams’ body? Tuna cans…WTF??

AWG: I completely agree about economic good times under Slick Willy’s admin. Unfortunately, I’m not optimistic what with this apologist mentality currently in the White House, that and the abudence of guests of our country getting free health care which I see everyday at work. It’s turned me into a bitter American. Not to mention pissed off employee each time I pay for my health insurance, Rx’s, etc. Must be nice getting all that shit for free ESP when you don’t even speak the fucking language! But it’s all good, just keep on having kids on USA’s dime.
Sometimes I think it’s more beneficial to be dirt poor bc you qualify for all kinds of social programs (i.e. FREE SHIT) than to be working middle class bc we still have to pay for everything.

Sorry guys for the long post but I thought most would enjoy this! AWG this one’s for you!

Robin Williams, wearing a shirt that says ‘I love New York ‘ in Arabic. You gotta love Robin Williams……Even if he’s nuts! Leave it to Robin Williams to come up with the perfect plan. What we need now is for our UN Ambassador to stand up and repeat this message. Robin Williams’ plan…(Hard to argue with this logic!) ‘I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here’s one plan.’ 1) ‘The US will apologize to the world for our ‘interference’ in their affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and the rest of those ‘good ‘ole’ boys’, we will never ‘interfere’ again. 2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany , South Korea , the Middle East , and the Philippines . They don’t want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one allowed sneaking through holes in the fence. 3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave We’ll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of whom or where they are. They’re illegal!!! 4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit!!!! No one from a terrorist nation will be allowed in. If you don’t like it there, change it yourself and don’t hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don’t need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.. 5) No foreign ‘students’ over age 21. The older ones are the bombers.. If they don’t attend classes, they get a ‘D’ and it’s back home baby. 6) The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while 7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don’t like it, we go someplace else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.) 8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not ‘interfere.’ They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything. 9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island someplace. We don’t need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens. 10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us ‘Ugly Americans’ any longer. The Language we speak is ENGLISH..learn it…or LEAVE…Now, isn’t that a winner of a plan? ‘The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying ‘Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses.’ She’s got a baseball bat and she’s yelling, ‘you want a piece of me?’ ‘