"Gathering Up, Feasting On, And Snickering At The World's Collective Nuttiness Since 2011"

Thursday, May 2, 2013

The RedSquirrel Report Welcomes Red Forman To Our Team

The RedSquirrel Report is happy to announce a new addition to our team, Red Forman:

Thanks, 'Squirrel.A couple weeks ago, two jack-asses from Chechnya set off bombs at The Boston Marathon, killing three people and maiming 260. The dumb-asses in the MSM wildly speculated that the bombers must have been white, right wingers. Damn idiots.As it turns out, the bombers were brothers Tamerlan and Dzhokhar Tsarnaev. Three days after the bombing, these two jerks led the authorities on a chase. The older brother was shot, and killed when his brother ran him over. The next day, the 19-year old younger brother was captured. I hope the police kicked the punk's ass.In other news, Congress is thinking about making it easier for illegal aliens to stay in this country. They call it, 'The pathway to citizenship.' Hey Jack-asses, there's already a pathway to citizenship.' It's called 'Obey the damn law.' Oh, This just in: 43% of the American people polled approve of Obamacare. That's because 43% of the American people are dumb-asses.

In local news, Minnesota Democrat Tina Liebling was so P.O.'d at her Republican colleague, State Representative Tom Drazkowski for proposing that welfare recipients to be tested for drugs, she introduced her own amendment asking that everyone in The State Legislature be tested.Her temper tantrum was the smartest, best thing to happen in the DFL-led Minnesota State Legislature so far in this session. In fact, I would like to see Congress tested for drugs. Hell, I trust my dumb-assed kid Eric more than I trust these maniacs. Have you ever wondered why Nancy Pelosi has that insane, perpetually surprised look? Now America could know.Well, that's all for now. Good night, America.