Author
Topic: Damage done during a sleepover. (Read 38202 times)

I think that it's very possible that more than one child was involved and I wouldn't tell the parents that you suspect it was the 11 year old. What others have said is pretty much what I would do. Let the parents (who I'm assuming are siblings of yours) know that the one or more of the combined kids got into some mischief, but none of them are owning up to it, so you are going to nix future sleepovers for all of them for a time.

Also, this is an arrangement that has been going on for a while. There is history with these sleepovers and there haven't been issues in the past. Something different happened this particular night. Either one child decided to be mischievous all by themselves, or the kids, as a group, got out of hand. Even though you don't suspect your own children, I would question them (including the 6 year old) about what they know. You might get some information that would lead you to the final answer.

With the feedback from this forum, I sent an email to their mother. I just told her some of the things that happened in the night and that I have no idea who did it. I also mentioned that I spoke to all of them and that no one has owned up to it. I ended it with "just thought you should know."

I would let the parents know what happened and that no one owned up to it, without telling them that you think it was your nephew.

And I wouldn't be inviting them again any time soon.

'I just wanted you to know that (these things happened) and that no one would admit to doing them. I think it's best if the kids don't have sleepovers for a while.'

POD

If there are no consequences, what's to prevent the behavior from escalating the next time around?

It's a shame that the innocent sometimes get penalized along with the guilty. But there's no way I would entrust my home to this group for an overnight visit. It's a matter of trust. And they haven't earned that.

I think that it's very possible that more than one child was involved and I wouldn't tell the parents that you suspect it was the 11 year old. What others have said is pretty much what I would do. Let the parents (who I'm assuming are siblings of yours) know that the one or more of the combined kids got into some mischief, but none of them are owning up to it, so you are going to nix future sleepovers for all of them for a time.

Also, this is an arrangement that has been going on for a while. There is history with these sleepovers and there haven't been issues in the past. Something different happened this particular night. Either one child decided to be mischievous all by themselves, or the kids, as a group, got out of hand. Even though you don't suspect your own children, I would question them (including the 6 year old) about what they know. You might get some information that would lead you to the final answer.

Oh believe me, I have. I really don't believe they would do this (seriously, writing on my counter with permanent marker, they totally know that is a no-no) although I suppose it is still possible.

Another thing about the marker on the counter, I can't even say that it was an accidental transfer, that it leaked through a piece of paper because some of the scribblings were on the edge of the countertop.

Honestly, I do kind of wonder about the sleepwalking possibility. I'd rather go with that as an explanation than believing that any of them would actually knowingly do any of this and then lie about it.

I think that it's very possible that more than one child was involved and I wouldn't tell the parents that you suspect it was the 11 year old. What others have said is pretty much what I would do. Let the parents (who I'm assuming are siblings of yours) know that the one or more of the combined kids got into some mischief, but none of them are owning up to it, so you are going to nix future sleepovers for all of them for a time.

Also, this is an arrangement that has been going on for a while. There is history with these sleepovers and there haven't been issues in the past. Something different happened this particular night. Either one child decided to be mischievous all by themselves, or the kids, as a group, got out of hand. Even though you don't suspect your own children, I would question them (including the 6 year old) about what they know. You might get some information that would lead you to the final answer.

Oh believe me, I have. I really don't believe they would do this (seriously, writing on my counter with permanent marker, they totally know that is a no-no) although I suppose it is still possible.

Another thing about the marker on the counter, I can't even say that it was an accidental transfer, that it leaked through a piece of paper because some of the scribblings were on the edge of the countertop.

Honestly, I do kind of wonder about the sleepwalking possibility. I'd rather go with that as an explanation than believing that any of them would actually knowingly do any of this and then lie about it.

OP, you seem like a very sweet person.

I used to sleepwalk as a child. I can tell you, with some confidence, that sleepwalkers do not put dog food in cheesecake!

I think with a little pressure from parents (on both sides) the truth should come out. I would be willing to wait out this process, and not jump into more sleepovers at this time.

I think that it's very possible that more than one child was involved and I wouldn't tell the parents that you suspect it was the 11 year old. What others have said is pretty much what I would do. Let the parents (who I'm assuming are siblings of yours) know that the one or more of the combined kids got into some mischief, but none of them are owning up to it, so you are going to nix future sleepovers for all of them for a time.

Also, this is an arrangement that has been going on for a while. There is history with these sleepovers and there haven't been issues in the past. Something different happened this particular night. Either one child decided to be mischievous all by themselves, or the kids, as a group, got out of hand. Even though you don't suspect your own children, I would question them (including the 6 year old) about what they know. You might get some information that would lead you to the final answer.

Oh believe me, I have. I really don't believe they would do this (seriously, writing on my counter with permanent marker, they totally know that is a no-no) although I suppose it is still possible.

Another thing about the marker on the counter, I can't even say that it was an accidental transfer, that it leaked through a piece of paper because some of the scribblings were on the edge of the countertop.

Honestly, I do kind of wonder about the sleepwalking possibility. I'd rather go with that as an explanation than believing that any of them would actually knowingly do any of this and then lie about it.

OP, you seem like a very sweet person.

I used to sleepwalk as a child. I can tell you, with some confidence, that sleepwalkers do not put dog food in cheesecake!

I think with a little pressure from parents (on both sides) the truth should come out. I would be willing to wait out this process, and not jump into more sleepovers at this time.

I can tell you, with some confidence, that sleepwalkers do not put dog food in cheesecake!

I think that's a pretty broad generalization. You might not have done that in your sleep, but even a simple Google search turns up a multitude of instances where people have done far stranger things while sleepwalking.

What an unfortunate situation! I agree, I would postpone sleepovers for the foreseeable future (like, at least a year, if not longer) until this gets resolved. It's not so much that anything so terrible happened, as that several strange and dramatic things happened all at once when there were no previous incidents. That needs to be nipped in the bud, and if that means no more kids overnight in the house than your own two, so be it.

This is kind of random, and I hope it's not true because it's creepy, but is there any possibility that it was someone who broke into your house that night? If you and DH and DS were sound asleep on the first floor, and everyone else was down in the basement... I'm thinking, were there any unusual marks on the outside door, mud tracked in, mentally ill homeless people in the neighborhood (scribbling on the counters, dog food in the cheesecake sounds kind of irrational), neighbors who come home drunk and might have opened the wrong door, etc.. I think it's a remote possibility, but since no one else mentioned it, I thought I would, just in case.

I would most definitely tell my sib what happened, but I wouldn't place blame on any one of her children specifically unless you have some serious evidence it was him and him alone. I wouldn't rule out anyone, to be honest.

What an unfortunate situation! I agree, I would postpone sleepovers for the foreseeable future (like, at least a year, if not longer) until this gets resolved. It's not so much that anything so terrible happened, as that several strange and dramatic things happened all at once when there were no previous incidents. That needs to be nipped in the bud, and if that means no more kids overnight in the house than your own two, so be it.

This is kind of random, and I hope it's not true because it's creepy, but is there any possibility that it was someone who broke into your house that night? If you and DH and DS were sound asleep on the first floor, and everyone else was down in the basement... I'm thinking, were there any unusual marks on the outside door, mud tracked in, mentally ill homeless people in the neighborhood (scribbling on the counters, dog food in the cheesecake sounds kind of irrational), neighbors who come home drunk and might have opened the wrong door, etc.. I think it's a remote possibility, but since no one else mentioned it, I thought I would, just in case.

I thought of that possibility as well. But since we live in the country about a 10 minute drive from our small town, it seems like a long shot...

I could see a kid grabbing dog food, dreaming they were putting it into the dog's dish and in reality was putting it into the cheesecake.

Logged

"I feel sarcasm is the lowest form of wit." "It is so low, in fact, that Miss Manners feels sure you would not want to resort to it yourself, even in your own defense. We do not believe in retaliatory rudeness." Judith Martin

I also wondered if one of them sleepwalked, but this reminded me of this one time I got in trouble with my mother. I don't remember what I did, but I do remember that I was about ten years old and it was something stupid that seemed funny at the time. My mom wasn't sure if I did it, or if my brother did it. She promised that whoever did it would not be in trouble if they confessed, and with that promise (and feeling guilty) I confessed. I ended up being grounded with no TV for a week because she thought my tone wasn't 'remorseful enough'. Maybe whoever did it met with something like this before, and was afraid to admit what they did this time? This might be a long-shot, and probably makes no difference either way.

Hopefully this will be the end of it, and their parents will try to get the truth from the culprit instead of getting defensive.