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Topic : Being a Good Friend

What does it mean to be a good "friend"? Has someone shown you the true meaning of friendship? Share your story here.

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Worrying about a friend: how do I deal with it?

I have a friend who I have been best friends with since
junior year in high school. He has always been a good friend to me; he knew
when something was bothering me, he was always opened for me to talk to him
about stuff going on. He even told me a few times to just vent and say whatever
was on my mind to him. He and I always had the same views and opinions when it
comes to drinking. He didn't drink, I didn't drink. Once, he even told me that
he thought drinking was stupid and a sin. I was happy to hear that because I
was one who did not drink and will not drink. That all changed though, one
summer night.

Another friend of mine on a social network told me that my best friend drinks
now, I recall those despicable three words, "he drinks now" I panicked.
I was sick, stressing, having severe panic attacks. After all of those times
that my best friend told me in high school that he wouldn't drink. This was
late at night; I had to get more confirmation on this. I called another friend,
and he unfortunately confirmed this news I never, EVER wanted to hear in my
entire life. I trusted this friend of mine; all that was going through my mind
was that he said to me that he would NEVER drink; he assured me of that.

‘Till this day, he claims that he had “no intensions” to
drink back then. He started to drink a little after his girlfriend whom he
loved a whole lot broke up with him. I know that is why he started to drink, as
if any guy would do! He basically said, “F this” and started to drink. The
weekend that I had found out about this, I texted him about it and he said that
he would never do it again? Wow, what a relief—right? Oh, but what I heard the
next time we hung out?! The person who texted me back saying that he would
never drink again? That would be his ex-girlfriend who broke up with him,
writing on the behalf of him. Was it true? No; he drank the next time we hung
out and I was extremely worried about him. It was the very first time I had
ever seen him drink; he was drunk.

He and I have had numerous amounts of fights about this. He
does “not regret” his actions that he has taken. So he is in college now; I
worry about him with drinking and sex. Though he claims he won’t have sex. I
worry about him as a best friend and it is really difficult for me to believe
all of this because he was never like this back in high school. I’m not good
with change and this is one of them I have been having issues with for a very
long time.

Every time he goes out to have a good time, he HAS to get
drunk.I don’t know how to deal with
this worrying I have. It isn’t right; and no, I’m not drawn to him or anything
like that. He’s been my friend for quite a while, I’ve never thought he’d be
this way now. It’s like he’s a new person and that I don’t even know him. He is
also attending a birthday party at a local river and its going to get crazy. I’m
not going, plus I live in a different state now. But I’m worried…I’m not sure
how to deal with this. He’s said all he can and I’ve said all I can. I get
really ticked to hear the stuff that he does, too.

Being a Good Friend

A girl friend whom I thought was a good friend or best friend I would call it is just driving me up the creek. She is supposedly my best friend however we have moved away from each other in the last three years and rarely see each other. We've know each other for about 10 yrs now. She works close to where I work, but never bothers to phone or e-mail. Unless or until I phone or e-mail her she does not bother, however as soon as I go overseas and bring her something she is on the phone to me and e-mails me constantly till I can see her, after that she goes quiet again for the next few months. As a person I like her very much even though she has a real nasty side to her, and everytime I keep saying to myself that this would be the last time I speak to her, I just cannot seem to take a stand against her. I have even stopped talking to other people just because she does not like them. COULD YOU PLEASE GIVE ME YOUr INPUT ON THIS SITUATION, AS SHE TENDS TO HAVE A HOLD ON ME AND I JUST CANNOT SEEM TO LET GO OR SHAKE HER OFF. PLEASE ADVISE.

This is a hard call....its a shame that u have quit talking to other people....if she was a true friend she would e-mail or call you just the way u call and e-mail her, sounds like your only a friend to her when u are buying or bringing her something when u go somewhere. I am a mom of 5 kids, and i use to be young once also.....i had a friend who liked me when i bought her stuff also, but i have taught my kids that true friendship is not bought with money or gifts....true friendship is through trust, and being there for one another.....honey if you have to buy her things when u go on vacation then i would get rid of her, and i sure wouldnt give up talkin to other people over her, time is 2 precious and 2 short to live this way honestly....think about it

Shyness running in the family

Does anyone for sure if shyness runs in the family? friday, i went to my doc because my pulse is 2 high and he asked me do i get anxiety or does standing up in front of the class make me nervous i said yes. he told me shyness can run in the family. i have not seen any backed up research on that. it can be a prob if u sheltered the child all their lives and their social skills go down or if somethin traumatic happen that caused them to shut down and become shy; there are millions of other factors.

when i was a kid, i was outgoing and a lil shy. now, im 23 more shy than outgoing. i had confidence in my social skills and had no prob making friends. since i am an adult i have probs making friends. my mom wouldnt let me do anything when we moved to AZ in 96, that caused me to shut down even more. my social skills went downhill after that. then, i became emotionally shutdown. it like was i was a mute and wouldnt speak to anybody only if i needed too. i still cant seem to function correctly at 23, i cant go in a job interview with confidence, i studder way too much on certain words. i gotta go to class but does anyone believe shyness runs in the family?

Perplex here?

What should I have done? A few weeks back I sent an encouraging email to my male friend to his business email acct. (Family members loosing jobs and the economy has been terrible on his business too. We have been friends for about 5 yrs) I recieved an email from him. This email seemed really an odd coming from him. He has never using headers with bcc or blind carbon copies. The email came back through his personal email which he hasn't used for about 4 months. I sent a reply email back to him to get a response. While I was waiting on a reply, I started to debate with myself if I should contact via cell phone text or just a phone call. I wasn't looking for an explanation just a simple yes or no. If no, forward this information, so he could resolve it an adult manner.

Two weeks went by nothing, so I decided to text him about the email. I stated in the text if he is aware of this, then please disregard my text. I apologize for any hardship I created for him. Finally we talked on the phone. He didn't send that email. I shared with him that some one has access to all his email accts. Who ever it is just won't stop at his emails. They will be interested in any or all his business too.

This texting between him and I went on about a week. All I wanted was for him to sit down long enough for us to resolve the situation. I even sent him a test email and he didn't get those either.

So finally I had enough of him lingering, so on a saturday, I texted him to let him that any one who breaks into any email accts or any other people accts without permission is now an Federal offense. The text I sent after that was the person, email address that was sent to me by the person who broke into his email acct.

My intentions all never to hurt any of my friends. I don't push buttons to get them mad. I don't like to see my friends be taking advantage of.

If I stood by and said nothing, later down that line, He would have been blindsided by this person emotionally or otherways. For anyone who snoops, or breaks into other people emails accts, they don't have respect for other peoples boundries. Where's the trust?

He said my last 2 texts created problems for him. I've let some time go by and tried to talk to him. I'm getting the feeling he's mad at me. Why? If I didn't say anything, I felt I would be as guilty as the one who broke into his email accts. It was never my intention to create any problems in any relationship that he is in.