Do I need to get my vendors gifts??

I just saw something online that mentioned getting your vendors gifts. I heard of giving them a thank you card, but I wasn’t sure about going as far as getting them a gift.. Is it etiquette it give your vendors gifts??

I wouldn’t and probably am not going to. I don’t personally know my vendors, and I’ll be paying and tipping them accordingly so I don’t feel it’s necessary to give them anything further. They aren’t doing me a favor, they’re doing their job like anyone else. We’ve already worked with our future photographer once and he’s awesome, so I may send him a card, but as all decorations, food, cake, music, etc. are being provided by the venue, I don’t have a lot of extra people to thank anyway.

I’ll get a gift for my friend who is making our cupcakes (even though we’re paying her too… i’m sure it’s lots of work!) I’ll probably also give the same favors i’m giving to guests to our photographer because they’re friends and i know they’d love a little keepsake.

People have different kinds of relationships: family members, society peers, close friends, business associates. Etiquette has different rules for different kinds of relationships in different circumstances, and well-bred people avoid blurring the line. Confusing business with friends and family is what leads to the unethical practices of nepotism, or to losing friends by treating them like hirelings.

Good friends-and-family etiquette is to say thank-you, send politely worded notes when a mere verbal thank-you is not enough, and send little thoughtful gifts when gratitude overwhelms you.

Good business etiquette is to make sure contracts are clearly written so that all expectations are laid out plainly, to make agreed-upon payments on time, to refrain from asking for unpaid favours or additional unpaid services and, if the service went above and beyond what you contracted for, to pay a bonus commensurate with the service. In addition, any employee of your contracter who provides you with a personal service should be individually tipped.

There is nothing impolite or socially unacceptable, about being in business; so it is perfectly good manners to treat your vendors in a businesslike manner. Treating them like friends — by giving gifts rather than paying a bonus — suggests that you are uncomfortable recognizing their professionalism in the appropriate businesslike way, and is actually poor business manners.

In the same way, of course, offering money to dear friends who have done you the favour of some personal service, is treating a friendship as though it were a business relationship, and is bad social manners.