Another Reason Why Johnny Can't Read:

... his state legislature is too busy studying the cheer squad to buy him books!

The Texas state legislature set aside small matters like the implementation of the death penalty last month to consider a far more arcane ritual: cheerleading. The state's cheerleaders, it seems, have become indistinguishable from exotic dancers—or so says a bill submitted by Al Edwards, a representative from Houston. Edwards' legislation would divert money from high schools that allow cheerleaders to perform overly suggestive lunges and inside-hitch pyramids. "It's just too sexually oriented, you know, the way they're shaking their behinds and going on, breaking it down," Edwards explained.

This does mean the end of spirited cheerleaders at high school fencing events!

Wait till you see the Texas State Legislature prepared handbook/guidebook of overly suggestive lunges and inside-hitch pyramids. Now that's a committee I would expect to meet in chambers for several extended sessions!

Is that a lift you just performed, or a rise? That'll be ten dollars deducted, and if you do it again, I'll give you twenty!