I don’t give a sh-t how you cut it. Taffeta will never be NOT prom to me. And, therefore, to me it should never show up on a red carpet. Unless, of course, it shows up on Carrie Underwood. Like, what else is she going to wear? This woman actively avoids style. Taffeta on Carrie Underwood makes all the sense in the world. #nosarcasm

What made no sense to me was the performance.

So Don Cheadle gets up there, barely able to disguise how perplexed he was to be introducing such a bizarre segment, to talk about how television revolutionised the news 50 years ago when JFK was assassinated. In a random segue – the show was full of random segues – he then moves from JFK dying to fangirls screaming over the Beatles, and how that was a healing moment for America. OK.

Then Carrie Underwood starts singing (off-key) the saddest song in the world, Yesterday. What are you telling me, Emmys?