Tag: dallas blogger

If you’ve been following my blog for a while then you’ll know that this is just a revamped version of my original post. And if you follow me on Instagram and watch my stories then you know I’m not a beauty guru. I’ve stumbled into the world of fashion, beauty and skincare routines on accident. I have extremely dry skin that has become more sensitive with age so I’ve never felt the need to do much else to my skin other than wash it with soap and water (I know that’s terrible). Needless to say, I’m a late bloomer when it comes to the application of makeup and my routine is still pretty light compared to others. However, with experimentation and time I’ve come to rely on a few brands and products that I’m going to share with you guys in this post. All of the products are linked in my Amazon Store and you can always shop there to keep up to date with my favorite beauty, wellness, and tech products.

So I start off by washing my face with a moisturizing cleanser because I have DRY skin. Then I use this primer to get my skin matte, and extra moisturized.

I only use a dime size amount, and this melts so a little goes a long way.

So I picked up this brow wax/filler set from seva I tend to use a small amount of wax and brow powder because I have naturally thick brows. Edit: I now use this brow filler set from NYX but I still use the technique listed below to fill my brows.

I use the two sided brush in the set and brush my brows with the wax before shaping and lining with the powder and setting each brow with an additional swipe of wax.

I like to do a “concealer only” look so I start with my Fenty Beauty Match Stix in Truffle. Edit: I have linked this deep match stix set although I’ve bought my match sticks seperately. (Truffle, Espresso, Cinnamon)

I don’t really have many problems with my skin outside of it being dry so I just conceal small blemishes and light spots of hyperpigmentation on my face.

I use a generic blender ball that I picked up from CVS. To give the matte formula a little more fluidity, I always wet my ball before lightly pressing the concealer into my skin. Edit: I have linked this blender ball that is most similar to the one I use.

To contour I use the Fenty Beauty Match Stix in Espresso. I gently swipe the stick on the hollows of my cheeks and right above my brow line. After that I use the same technique as my concealer to blend.

To highlight I use the Fenty Beauty Shimmer Stix in Sinamon. I highlight the apples of my cheeks going up into my hairline as well as the tip of my nose and my brows. I use the same technique to blend.

I like to use a cream blush and this one by NYX is one of my favorites. I apply a small amount to the apples of my cheeks in a circular motion then using the underside of my finger I swipe up into my hairline. Edit: Unfortunately NYX has discontinued this line. But this is a great dupe from MAC.

I’m gonna be honest with you guys I got this from a lady selling makeup on the side of the road but it is my forever favorite glitz highlighter. The glow I get is amazing with this thing. I use the attached brush to swipe from the apples of my cheeks into my hairline. Edit: I have found an almost exact dupe to the shimmer highlight brush I use. Which is great for whenever I finally run out of glitter.

I have pretty long lashes so I’m usually looking for volume in my mascaras. This Cover Girl Lash Blast Volume Waterproof mascara does the trick.

I usually do two to three swipes for my upper lashes and one swipe for my lower lashes.

I usually don’t do a lippie for my everyday looks but I will do a nice gloss. This butter gloss from NYX in Merengue is light and fun.

Now that I have captured your attention with the title of this blog, I would like to address this topic with love, respect and substance. It is in fact PRIDE month and before I dive into my personal narrative I’d like to start with saying that I am humbled and grateful to have the opportunity to write this story. The friendships, acquaintances and brief connections I have made with identifying members of the LGBTQ community has altered my life for the better and I thank each and every one of you for sharing a piece of your dynamically beautiful souls with me.

I have an affinity towards research and there has been no greater tool for my life research than twitter. This social media platform has allowed me to access personal narratives and firsthand accounts of marginalized voices that I would otherwise never encounter. In my early days as a baby feminist, I devoured the stories I’d read from Tumblr and the threads on Twitter whose authors ranged from black trans sex workers to gay black male academics. I was obsessed with being “the perfect ally” who used the right pronouns, and respected autonomy terms. However, I soon learned that sometimes your education on a subject does not reconcile with real-life interactions.

I met Brent while working as a dental receptionist at a job, I would later explosively be fired from but that is another story. The openly flamboyant dental assistant immediately intrigued me during staff meetings not only for his colorful banter but also for his extremely thorough work ethic. Brent practically ran the dental office. He was well versed in all aspects of the dental management software, lab procedures, and surgical techniques. I was sure that if he had the right support system he would very well be one of the best dentists in the country. A thought I would later express to him during our first friendship outing.

The friendship between Brent in myself blossomed quickly; we were both ambitious with big personalities and a love for being the center of attention on the dance floor. Soon, I found myself commuting an hour each day just to hang out with Brent and his revolving group of friends. Brent always celebrated his sexual identity since the day I met him and I was awed by the very new experiences of gay clubs, and lingo. I felt special; I had a new gay best friend. Yet like any honeymoon phase, the excitement of our newfound friendship fizzled and the real work of sustaining our bond began.

I was fired from that job and I wasn’t talking to Harrison, my credit score was dismal and I was finding comfort in vodka cranberries and in the arms of random POF dates. I was as the kid’s say “struggle busing” and with the foundation of my life in shreds who could I not be?

I had no energy to give and although I truly loved my friend, Brent required a lot. My friendship with Brent was no longer an accessory, or talking point it was an actual relationship that required effort to be sustained.

I was so happy to fight for the principal of Brent and others like him. I became known as a “gay rights activist” as my mother so lovingly referred to me as. I was easily riled when talks of not respecting “lifestyles” came up. I walked out on church sermons when the pastor condemned the country for its “evil bathroom” policies. I felt I was doing the work by standing up to other privileged members of my sect. I was the best “ally” I knew.

Yet there was a disconnect between my ideologies and my personal actions. I was fighting with everyone else in the name of Brent yet I had stopped actually fighting for my friendship with Brent.

The tides turned and I met a wonderful man who provided me with a new sense of life. I was traveling the country, being wined, and dined while my friend was losing his foundation. Brent has always had a huge heart. His home was often a safe haven for other members of the community who hadn’t been blessed with opportunity or support. Unfortunately, his heart put him in a desperate position of which he expressed to our friend group one morning over a brunch gathering.

Having been so caught up in my new kept life, instead of responding with compassion I lashed out at my friend. Claiming that he put himself in that place with his unwillingness to change. When he retaliated out of hurt, I doubled down on my efforts and cut him off in the name of my “peace.” I was no better than the bible thumpers I debated. I was no ally. I was a middle class born and raised a black girl with the privilege to have access to wealth through aesthetics and a vast vocabulary. I played the part of highly educated activist well but my actions within my personal relationship made me a fraud.

With the aid of a mutual friend, Brent and I were able to make amends but things were not as fluid as they were before. We felt more like polite acquaintances than the friends who would dance all night together and dream about the future while smoking our immediate worries away.

I had never apologized, truly.

I mustered up the courage the lay everything on the line at another group brunch. Time had passed so quickly and before I knew it, I was settled into that brand new relationship and missed my dear friend terribly.

I was wrong, of which I told him. No one deserved to ever be kicked when they’re down and that’s exactly what I did to my friend. Tears flowed as the realization of my actions dawned on me. I was the oppressor in this scenario. The role I typically reserved for white men of privilege was the very one I had to accept.

I was humiliated but at that point, my feelings did not matter.

We both cried, we all cried.

I left that brunch feeling lighter and wiser. I was so busy fighting others for the right for Brent to exist freely as a gay black man that I forgot to fight for Brent as my friend. Who was more than just a gay black man. Yes, Brent’s gayness does make up a lot of who he is but it does not equate to all of him. He is a person of multitudes like anyone else.

He is not an accessory to be worn occasionally. He is not a cause to be taken up sporadically. He is a hard worker. He is a believer. He is compassionate. He is a dancer.

Brent is gay and so much more, and I have the privilege of learning to love every aspect of him.

This love letter is to my best friend and so many others like him with huge hearts, big dreams, and dynamically beautiful souls. Thank you for challenging me to be a better person, thank you for being you.