Last night, I watched the Academy Awards for first time in maybe 3-4 years. Thinking it might be extra dramatic or noteworthy this year, given the writers' strike situation, I tuned in for nearly the entire telecast. Here are my awards for the evening:

Can we please discuss how these horrifyingly skinny actresses STILL couldn't get their underarms into their dresses? Has no one told them that they have armpit vaginas? Both Cameron and Jennifer were BULGING out of the tops of their bodices, and not in an appealing way. And despite rocking a universally unattractive color in a very lovely way, Keri Russell also had some seriously armpit rolls. Yuck.