I’m not a movie star going incognito, I’m just avoiding skin cancer. How many people have said that lately? I know. So many, right? Hat, long sleeves, sunglasses, sunscreen SPF 80, umbrella…you guessed it--gregorific has had a beach vacay! And now I have returned, no tanner, but yes, more relaxed. Woot! I love starting the summer with a bang so that it’s in your face and REAL. Like, it’s summer ya’ll! Look at me, look at me! SUMMER! For gregorific, there’s nothing like a six hour drive with a cute dog on your lap and the Peter Pan soundtrack on repeat to say, BANG!When we are with the entire gregorific crew of 9, we like to vacation at Bethany Beach. Why, you ask?A couple reasons, ya'll. One: The beach is private. This is so so important to us. We have no one blowing smoke in our faces, or playing explicit music, or flaunting their tan abs, booties, whatnot. It’s us and maybe two other families on the whole beach. Lovely.

I don't want to see this.

Two: I think the privacy has afforded the wildlife some protection. The dunes still have grasses and the sand is peppered with holes. If you sit still for, oh, five minutes, a big ghost crab will crawl out of one of the holes! No kidding! It will scamper about and go into another hole. Plus, sand crabs (the kind you dig up when you see bubbles in the surf) are alive and abundant on this beach. And each morning you can see a pod of porpoises swimming by, a line of ten fins cruising along the horizon. It’s a delight to see the ecosystem co-existing with the tourists and to show the kids these natural wonders.

Wait, you mean the beach is not just a place to tan?

Three: This uber cool beach allows dogs. At any time! This is awesome! We are such dog people now. Last year, our dog Rigsby was scared of the surf. This year, he was brave! He loved it. He dug holes with the kids, found crabs (!), and played dare with the surf. Then, when the sun rose, he would sit in the shade of a beach chair and smell the air for hours. It was really fun to watch the other dogs on the beach too. Some swam! (Labs, of course.) And some just ran beside their masters, loping along for a romantic surf side walk. The whole beach scene cast a happy spell on the gregorific clan.

Four: We used to go to Rehoboth or Ocean City. Both are fun destinations. BUT, it got so we would coordinate our daily excursions to avoid the other tourists. Boardwalk trips were no fun when you’d get stuck walking behind kids barely keeping their pants on, cursing for show, and flirting obnoxiously. A couple years ago, I was mooned while walking to the beach. Not cool, people.

It took the relaxation out of the next hours as I sat on the beach, wondering whose bum had been showcased to me and why. Also at these bigger beaches, the stores have even gotten indiscreet with the things they display. Like bumper stickers with curse words or suggestive shirts, books, mugs. A vacation can be less cool when your kid is asking, ‘Mommy, what does f*ck mean?’ Luckily, I have the llama answer ready to go at all times.

When I was younger (alas) I didn’t mind crowds or vulgarity or rudeness as much as I do now. Before kids, I had the luxury to be amused, or indulgent with teenage brashness and tasteless trinkets. And yeah, way back when I took a shift being that teen. I could give as good as I got in crowds and I’ve even willingly entered a mosh pit or two (or ten). Now, that stuff brings out the middle-aged, finger-wagging, suburbanite MOM in me. In every good, protective, I’ll-smack-you-if-you-bump–my-kid-again type way.

It’s best for everyone in Delaware that gregorific and family enjoy the idyllic, smaller beach at Bethany. The right place at the right time, ~gregorific*BANG*