Corbyn faces new leadership challenge

Smith called for unity. Moments later his nose grew by more than 17 inches

Jeremy Corbyn has been told by a large majority of Labour mps that he has lost the confidence of his party and must face a leadership challenge. Again.

On Monday morning, and less than 48 hours after beating off challenger Owen Smith to win the leadership of the party democratically for a second time, Corbyn was informed by 75% of labour MPs that he must stand aside or fight a bitter election. Again.

Former challenger Angela Eagle, who is tipped to throw her hat in the ring, again, said “Jeremy may have won the contest, but since then he has failed to become Prime Minister, despite having had most of the weekend to achieve it. This isn’t good enough.”

Laying out his own campaign, again, Owen Smith said”Owing to the Labour electorate’s false consciousness, by which 300,000 people have voted for the wrong person because they aren’t as well informed as me, I am going to have to launch a campaign against Jeremy to bring him down. Again. Our supporters demand it. Or would if they understood.

“Why don’t they understand? It’s so frustrating. At this rate the parliamentary labour party may have to abolish the voters entirely. They’re a huge disappointment.”

Samantha Furcup, a Labour supporter who doesn’t much care for Corbyn but is aware of how democratic processes work, said “It’s embarrassing. The Labour top brass are going to wreck our party because they won’t accept that a rather boring old man is more attractive to voters than they are. Meanwhile the USA’s main political parties are successfully managing to stand two candidates who are actually evil without permanently destroying their own parties beyond repair.”

Conservative party chairman Sir Arthur Theremin said “Brilliant isn’t it? We aren’t even going to bother organising a campaign for the next general election. We’ll just pootle about in chauffeur-driven Rolls Royces, hurling money earmarked for the NHS into ditches.