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Sunday, September 19, 2010

"What does it mean to be clutch?" Paul Sullivan asks in the Introduction to his 2010 book, Clutch: Why Some People Excel Under Pressure and Others Don't. I was delighted that he asked, because I was clueless. I do practice what I preach in my book Genderflex — women need to know something about sports to survive in the world of work. Workplace conversations, still rife with sports analogies, and "wealth acquisition" stories keep women thinking "Huh?" at times. And I was still saying "Huh?" to myself after reading Sullivan's stories about John Havlicek, Tommy LaSorda, Eli Manning and Roger Federer. Even though I know who these men are, I still didn't get it about clutch.

My second problem with the clutch thing was that the author uses the word as an adjective. e.g. "being a clutch performer", or a noun, "He proved himself in the clutch." Maybe this is a male thing. I think of clutch as a verb, e.g. grab, grasp. Nonetheless, I ultimately understood. Clutch means to be good under pressure. Choke means NOT being good under pressure.

OK, so what you're maybe wondering, given all my opposition, why didn't I just shut the book and shut up about clutch? Chapter 8, which is called "The Perils of Overthinking," notes the connection between clutch and the "empowerment of being realistic." Wow! That's what I'm talking about too. Not freaking out with the negative. Not faking out with the positive. Just plain old realistic thinking. "What it certainly is not is overthinking," the author says about clutch.

The final sentence in Chapter 8 notes, "To avoid the perils of overthinking, a person needs to just do what he does — and not think of what he could, would, should do in that situation." Hm-m-m-m. I'm still mumbling to myself. I think Paul Sullivan, in a very lengthy, sports analolgy, male-targeted way is saying something to men that I'm saying to women. Dump the negative — dump the positive — get real and focus on solving the problem! Men and women do speak different languages, with different tones, analogies, stories and points, but yes, there are underlying similarities.

I'm taking the book back to the library tomorrow before it sends me to sleep, albeit with a renewed appreciation for the fact that men also overthink, negative think, and often are overconfident thinkers!

WELCOME TO IWO!

It's the beginning of the third year of intelligentwomenonly.com I've started off with some retrospective posts as a reminder to me and you that this blog started out focused on understanding and eliminating negative self-talk. Not surprising since my current book project is Handbook #l for Intelligent Women: Break the Negative Self-Talk Habit.Strong beliefs underlie intelligentwomenonly.com posts:• Research based advice/suggestions/content contain more accurate facts and greater value than pop psychology.• Intelligent girls and women are more likely than intelligent boys and men to limit themselves because of their self-talk.• Negative self-talk is a bad habit, not a neurosis or psychosis. Unfortunately, it's normal in a majority of girls and women.

•The negative self-talk habit has to be eliminated before realistic (or positive thinking) can be learned and maintained.• Positive self-talk cannot create a positive reality even if the negative self-talk habit is broken.• Self-help approaches can work for changing thinking, feeling, and behavioral habits.In the next nine months of 2012, I would love to be able to tell you that the book will be published this year or next. In the meantime I've become intrigued with new brain research about thinking and emotions, particularly applicable and useful for and to women. I'll post no more about gender differences, unless they're wildly interesting, and more about intelligent women's psychology, thinking, feelings, and out front actions. I've added a new red subject box, Writers and Writing, targeted specifically for writers, of course!

I'm still looking for some controversy, disagreement, new information from readers. I'm open to your thoughts about what you'd like to hear more about — or less about!Please send me your comments, suggestions, questions, criticisms — all of you intelligent women out there!