Are you sitting comfortably?
Then I'll begin
The Story Of Kinnochio
The man who ran the other party pondered the size of his nose
A man who pleaded for leadership and groveled more than most
He scabbed and he lied and he nodded and smiled and he sunk down low
Whilst the nose at the foot of his happy face slowly began to grow
La la la la la la la la la la la la la
Little by little he noticed that his nose's enormous size

Was in direct and equal proportion to his political compromise
Despite his strenuous efforts to put the world to rights
His nose continued to slowly extend as he moved towards the right
La la la la la la la la la la la la la
Eager for power and groveling for votes
You could measure his popularity by the increasing size of his nose
A dancing puppet grafted in wood
Controlled by strings operated from above