Winston wrote:Kradmelder,
Actually yes my options in America with white women were close to zero due to me being Asian. However if i had sought Asian women out in America i would have had more chances and choices. The problem was when i was in my late teens and twenties, i was primarily attracted to white girls, because i was a white guy in an asian body, and found white girls to be more attractive. I just didnt desire asian girls as much. Most asian american guys like me eventually settle with asian american girls or FOB asian girls. So my mistake was not going for asian girls when i was young. If i had i could have had more dates and chances to settle down. I was too obsessed with white girls.

As my parents always told me, "Winston your problem is that you always want whats least achievable. Better to focus on what's achievable. Otherwise your life will be full of suffering."

Winston, I guess you graduated from high school around 1990, before I was born. I graduated from high school in 2009.
What if Winston had turned 18 in 2009 or later? He definitely had have been fared much worse.

My question for Winston is: How did you get girlfriends in the US? You didn't have many options, but you still managed to successfully go through the process of asking them out and then getting into long-term relationships with them. You still got them.

And yes you're right, in California, most Asian-American guys settle down with other Asian women that they meet at home. But I couldn't even get one because they all kept friend-zoning me. They were all so obsessed with their smartphones, social cliques, and American pop culture. I was super non-picky and would have taken anyone, even the ones that were very fat and not so good-looking. My standards and expectations were basically zero.
I am an interesting person, tall, athletic, with a good college education, and so on. I had lots of them as friends, but I'm simply not on their wavelength. I never got even one chance to settle down with a woman in America.

I left the US right after graduating from college, and never looked back.
I remember my first night in Angeles City. Girls my own age swarming all over me! One girl asked me, "Why do you look so happy?"
Within one week of my first landing in Taiwan, an Indonesian girl fell in love with me.
Within one week of my first landing in Thailand, a local girl fell in love with me.
Why did this never happen in America, where I was stuck in for 22 years and had dozens upon dozens of great friends, but no dates at all?

My Thai girlfriend refuses to believe that I won't be able to get a girl if I went back to the US. To her, I and very good-looking, responsible, and attract many women. She personally witnessed lots of different women being attracted to me here in Thailand. Hence, to her, it is completely incomprehensible as to why American women are unattainable.

Winston wrote:Kradmelder,
Actually yes my options in America with white women were close to zero due to me being Asian. However if i had sought Asian women out in America i would have had more chances and choices. The problem was when i was in my late teens and twenties, i was primarily attracted to white girls, because i was a white guy in an asian body, and found white girls to be more attractive. I just didnt desire asian girls as much. Most asian american guys like me eventually settle with asian american girls or FOB asian girls. So my mistake was not going for asian girls when i was young. If i had i could have had more dates and chances to settle down. I was too obsessed with white girls.

As my parents always told me, "Winston your problem is that you always want whats least achievable. Better to focus on what's achievable. Otherwise your life will be full of suffering."

At least you learned before it really was too late. There isn't anything wrong with you in the way you look or what you have going for you - you could have got a really hot Chinese woman if you had come here instead of Russia in 1997.

If I was Asian, I would have made my way to Asia as soon as I could, I would have done the miltary service and everything. With white women, even the ones who like Asian blokes like the top tier Asian blokes - the ones who look like the fella from Hawaii Five-0, and then they're the minority, if you're just a normal looking Asian bloke looking for white women, you're going to struggle.

Winston wrote:Kradmelder,
Actually yes my options in America with white women were close to zero due to me being Asian. However if i had sought Asian women out in America i would have had more chances and choices. The problem was when i was in my late teens and twenties, i was primarily attracted to white girls, because i was a white guy in an asian body, and found white girls to be more attractive. I just didnt desire asian girls as much. Most asian american guys like me eventually settle with asian american girls or FOB asian girls. So my mistake was not going for asian girls when i was young. If i had i could have had more dates and chances to settle down. I was too obsessed with white girls.

As my parents always told me, "Winston your problem is that you always want whats least achievable. Better to focus on what's achievable. Otherwise your life will be full of suffering."

Winston, I guess you graduated from high school around 1990, before I was born. I graduated from high school in 2009.
What if Winston had turned 18 in 2009 or later? He definitely had have been fared much worse.

My question for Winston is: How did you get girlfriends in the US? You didn't have many options, but you still managed to successfully go through the process of asking them out and then getting into long-term relationships with them. You still got them.

And yes you're right, in California, most Asian-American guys settle down with other Asian women that they meet at home. But I couldn't even get one because they all kept friend-zoning me. They were all so obsessed with their smartphones, social cliques, and American pop culture. I was super non-picky and would have taken anyone, even the ones that were very fat and not so good-looking. My standards and expectations were basically zero.
I am an interesting person, tall, athletic, with a good college education, and so on. I had lots of them as friends, but I'm simply not on their wavelength. I never got even one chance to settle down with a woman in America.

I left the US right after graduating from college, and never looked back.
I remember my first night in Angeles City. Girls my own age swarming all over me! One girl asked me, "Why do you look so happy?"
Within one week of my first landing in Taiwan, an Indonesian girl fell in love with me.
Within one week of my first landing in Thailand, a local girl fell in love with me.
Why did this never happen in America, where I was stuck in for 22 years and had dozens upon dozens of great friends, but no dates at all?

My Thai girlfriend refuses to believe that I won't be able to get a girl if I went back to the US. To her, I and very good-looking, responsible, and attract many women. She personally witnessed lots of different women being attracted to me here in Thailand. Hence, to her, it is completely incomprehensible as to why American women are unattainable.

Well they happened naturally. My first gf was Vietnamese and we met through a Chinese mutual friend who introduced us. Then the three of us hung out together for a few months before we started admitting we had feelings for each other. So we were friends first and I was very innocent about it. My second gf was in Washington state. We met online and then in person. My third gf I met at a Wicca group in Virginia City, Nevada. I was smitten by her on first glance and by then I had developed my flirtation skills to charm and woo women. lol

After that, I had no more chances with AW. The thing is, I was never able to date Taiwanese females that my family knew for some reason or were family friends. Every time I saw them, they treated me like a cousin, but there was always this boundary that I am not to fraternize with them outside of family gatherings or reunions. Flirtation was off limits and out of bounds. So I never knew how I was supposed to get a Taiwanese American middle class gf, if I wasn't allowed to flirt with them or ask them out or express any interest. Weird.

I guess like you said Falcon, you gotta be on their wavelength to connect with them. But I never connected with the Asian American culture anyway. They were too obsessed with school and grades and getting into the best universities. All that was meaningless to me and I never understood the appeal of it. I was too down to earth and deep and spiritual to care about that stuff. Once you are on their wavelength though, everything happens naturally. So I don't think that guys in the US who are able to get girlfriends or wives or settle down, did anything special that you or I didn't do. They just followed their conventional life and it happened naturally within the flow of their everyday work and school and life. There's no formula or technique or rocket science. It just happens if you connect and are on the save wavelength. Also, like attracts like.