This blog is dedicated to all the women who have had, are currently having or will experience a heart break.

Being heartbroken, in minimal words, sucks.

In reality, it is a physical, mental and spiritual exhaustion. It in in this season of your life, in which you are most challenged with the false belief that you are “alone”. (btw: you are not!).

I would like to add a bit to this quote, “And I will know who I am after you.”

Yes! Being heartbroken can feel horrible, but being able to learn from the experience is essential, in order to heal and move forward. It does not mean you will forget, but it does mean you can forgive and heal. Forgive yourself for staying in an unhealthy relationship and forgive the person who broke your heart. Granting forgiveness to yourself is the most powerful tool to letting go of what and who hurt you.

Being able to be kind and forgiving in the midst of the storm is hard. The end of a relationship will leave you with a sense of loss and of complete confusion. It can make you feel unmotivated, uninterested, your appetite can even increase or decrease drastically, and jeez a turmoil of emotions that feel like a catastrophe.

Everything will pass.

Do not drown in a glass of water.

Instead live your emotions. Don’t hold back. But more than seek for the person who broke your heart, live your emotions because the emotions that can break your heart are sometimes the very one that heals it.

Now, lets reflect on this.

This is not a how-to manual, but we all know that after a while, you will return to who you are. The true essence of who you are and hopefully you will grow and learn from the experience. Remember we are only humans.

A hopeful promise, believing in yourself deals more with encouraging yourself, trusting your capabilities and your potential. It does not mean you have everything together, or that you are an expert, it means that you know that you are capable, worthy, and that you respect who you are. Above all respect and trust who you are.

Self-confidence is our word.

Confidence, my dear gals, is intentional, completely provoked by understanding that caring for yourself, and placing your goals as a priority is okay. Feeling self-assured and believing that you can rely on yourself. Keep this firm trust in who you are. Do not give up on yourself because you, my dear friend, should be one of your strongest supporters.

We are women, and although sometimes we can seek perfection, we have to be aware that perfection is not accomplishable nor equals happiness. It is in our route to our goals or our decisions that provides us with the satisfaction of knowing that we progressed even in the midst of a storm.

The storm, we can consider a given and even when the storm arises, we can sure bet, that we will stand against it. Sometimes the storm is ourselves. What do we do then?

Through experience, I can assure you that sometimes our minds can detach from our actions, or words become automatic and our habits can take hold of the best parts of us. How is that?

Have you ever said something to a loved one and then regretted your words? You wonder why you would say such a thing? But don’t apologize, because it has become a habit at that point. That is self-denial. It does not only reflect your ugly side, it reflects how detached you have become from your emotions, yourself. Sometimes detaching is your mechanism that aids you to continue going, but it is not progress anymore, when you are running on automatic.

Learning to know yourself, is essential to keep yourself above water. Knowing your emotional triggers and your weaknesses can actually help you find a solution for them. Of course, help from your loved ones is an essential part for your progress, it may even be your motif, but they can not be responsible or liable for your downfalls.

Now take a step forward.

Individual progress, can be represented with taking or choosing a route or road.

“Two roads diverged in a wood,

and I took the less traveled by,

and that has made all the difference.”

Taking a distinct path from what you have been accustomed to can be hard, it can seem dangerous but it will assure you that a different result can be expected. Choosing to love yourself, also deals with self-awareness, with self-respect and mutual respect towards your loved ones. It is important to capture the full picture of who you are and not portray yourself as the affected. When you get hurt, speak of it, and when you hurt someone, acknowledge their pain and your fault.

Let’s start by being thankful for your loved ones. Anything else can be replaced, except your love and their love for you.

Our today for the Sunday series will deal with tools for your success,

tools such as self-help and taking small steps towards your goals.

Quote of the day:

We are women of progress.

Women of progress are the women, that continue, despite the adversities.

It is essential for a woman who is trying to progress, to be able to possess the necessary tools. Yes tools! Just like a mechanic, uses his tools to fix your car, you will use your tools to remove yourself from unwanted circumstances or situations that have halt you from progress.

Progress does not have to be a significant change, it just needs to be a necessary change. For instance, do you ever wake up, not having anything ready for your upcoming day? You have no clean clothes, your work is not done, you can’t eat breakfast because you’ll be late to work, and forget about any lunch… fast food it will be. You get home, sleep and again… an endless cycle. Yup. I have been there. The tool, that you may be lacking is self-organization.

Self-organization deals with being able to manage yourself in amidst of all the crazy mess you are surrounded in. You work with your environment, to get the best of your day or self.

Now let’s take a step backwards.

Yes, it seems very simple, almost ridiculously obvious, on what will proceed. All you have to do is organize yourself. Yes! The not-so-simple task is starting, knowing how and making it permanent!

Now, let’s separate it in parts.

Part 1: Starting to progress

Initially progress can seem tedious and the results can yield slowly. Nonetheless, when change is consistent, progress will continue to go your way. So lets start now! We can start by making sure you have a specific goal. The goal can be a short or long term goals, that is okay. What we need to focus on at the moment, is building stepping-stones towards that goal. So let’s say our goal is being able to clean your car on a weekly basis. Yes, it is simple, the problem is that it is a tedious task, considering the amount of things I carry with me, because I do not have anything planned. I carry three jackets, a few blouses and pants, which take up space, just for the just in cases in life. I never use them. Cleaning out my car for me, would be a weekly task, which I have assigned as a Saturday “task” for my peace of mind.

Part 2: Knowing how to:

So car cleaning is my goals. Simple. Now, knowing your goals, makes the task more realistic. The harder part is organizing yourself, so that when the task comes your way, there are higher chances you will meet the goal. Remember when you fail to plan, you are planning for failure. Making small stepping stones towards your task, is ideally your planning. For me, my car cleaning would consist of having the necessary tools for my task such as garbage bags, cleaning items, a vacuuming device and my effort and time. Keep in mind that your effort, such as your motivation or need to accomplish the task and the time you invest in your goal, are two of the most important aspects that aid you towards meeting your goal.

Part 3: Progress stays permanent

If you want your goal to remain, permanent changes need to be made. The steps it takes you to accomplish a goal, can be very rewarding. The discipline, the changes, the progress you can visualize. It can sometimes be more than rewarding that accomplishing your goal, the problem can be in maintaining the progress. For instance, let’s say my vehicle remains clean for a few weeks, and then I stop. My car will start collecting unnecessary items, to the point of having to halt my day and clean my vehicle. Progress needs to continue until the task becomes a habit that you have ingrained within yourself.

Now, sometimes goals can seem unreachable or too simple for planning. Planning provides you with the initial tool towards your goals. It is not always necessary but it can give you a structure or a framework for your complete “house”. Now boss girl, get yourself organized and go accomplish your goals, the sky is the limit!

Today’s blog topic is about planning for your future self, for the sake of your future self.

Quote of the blog:

It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.

-J.R.R Tolkien, The Hobbit

Why should a boss girl plan?

Being able to strategize for the future is essential for your future self. It will provide you with the security that you have strategized to the best of your abilities to confront the future, or the big “live dragon,” that is near to come. Planning is a highly effective method of formatting your life and the things that occur during your daily life.

YES! For you, at this moment, for you in the future to come.

Planning gives you an outlook of where you are positioned and how near you are to your goal, your deadline, or that appointment you have been dreading!

Planning is such a handy habit! In other words, if you plan, it will be convenient for you. Your destiny is determined by the decision that you make now. Therefore it is your responsibility to choose in your now, making planned decisions rather than letting the circumstances choose for you. When you let the events and the circumstances mold your life, it is likely that you will be left empty handed, realizing that you are the only one responsible for being stuck.

Planning is important, and if you keep it as a long term habit, you will understand the benefits of planning. Planning provides you with a framework for what you plan ahead. Remember, if you fail to plan, you plan to fail!

For instance, planning fulfills the following objectives:

Planning gives you a sense of direction:

Without a concise plan, your long term goals will be almost obsolete. Your daily occurrences without planning can become a non-effective routine, resembling a stagnant situation. Therefore it is vital that your short term decision support and harmonize with your future goals.

Focuses attention on objectives and results”

When you plan, you will likely be more focused and anticipating results. Keeping sight of your results, will keep you motivated, because you will see that your effort has reaped results.

In addition, planning gives you a sense of purpose.

A sense of purpose gives you the motivation that drives you toward a satisfying future. It also helps you to get the most from the things you do and achieve – large and small – right now.

Today’s blog topic is about self-direction and the overcoming of weaknesses.

Quote of the Blog:

What is self-direction? How can we self-direct our life, after losing sight of our goals?

Self- direction, is allowing yourself to control the direction of change in your favor. You cannot change the direction of life itself, or what surrounds you, which you have no control over in life. What you can do is make adjustments to your path in order to reach your destinations.

Do you feel that you have lost the direction in your life?

Maybe you are in a season in your life where you feel lost and don’t know how to give your life a new direction. If you know that your current choices, decisions, goals and thoughts are not meeting your necessities, but you are not sure what will, start by doing some self-research.

Start by placing attention on yourself by discovering your weaknesses, your strengths and focus on your values, in order to contribute to a life-time growth and not a momentary fix.

When you can take control of what has taken hold of you for so long, such as an insecurity or a weakness, you will remain with an opportunity to progress.

If you have a limitation that has become a disadvantage to you in comparison to everyone else, you can either feel hopeless or you can focus in developing and improving your strengths, in order to enhance your path.

True strength arises from giving your best, even if you remain with your limitation, because the path, the struggle, the fight will remain.

Building on your strengths by working on your weaknesses is my life tip to you.

Taking hold of the insecurity does not mean it’s gone completely or that you will not have it again. It’s bigger than that. It is seeing it as work in progress and as an opportunity to learn, to grown and as a life lesson.

Where there is no struggle, there is not strength. -Oprah

Lets build on this.

Sometimes comparing yourself to others, can make you feel like a failure.

Do not let the accomplishments of others, opaque yours. Do not be rushed, it does not matter if someone else has accomplished something you see in your long term goals.

This is your journey.

And this journey will be within your time and the manner in which you wish to accomplish it. It is okay to be afraid, but you need to decide to pull yourself together and head in the direction of our dreams. Planning for instance, is an excellent decision you can make, that can aid you in remaining focused.

“Review your goals twice every day is order to be focused on achieving them.

We live our lives almost in an “automatic” manner. We tend to live in a routine because we already have an expected outcome. Routine is safe, it provides a safe ground but its sometimes comfortable, too familiar. We may be afraid to reach out to people in fear that our expectations will remain unmet. Being nervous to pursue our dreams and goals because we may be dreaming “too big,” may be what is cutting us back from reaching them.

In this world, pre-determined biases towards women are currently present. Biased opinions of why a women cannot be leaders, or that they lack leadership skills.

Have you heard comments such as these?“She’s pushy, she is probably in her period”“Women bosses are abrasive, confrontational and emotional”But are we?

I strongly believe that success is the byproduct of consistent work and dedication, it comes after a history of struggles and sacrifices.

Although women do not start with a leveled playing field in terms of opportunities to excel and succeed, it does not mean we do not start.

We make excuses in our minds and hide behind them, forgetting that we are the only ones who can control our futures. We forget that we can shape what happens to us, that we can pave our own way, that we can determine the course of our own lives—us and fate. And yet, we hold back, so why don’t we start?

Do you feel scared right now? So what if everything could go wrong. You have to try regardless, or else you’ll never know if what you want could happen. If what you believe in can become a reality rather than remain a dream. Let fear sink in for just a moment, and then feel how the promise of tomorrow, the possibility starts creeping in. Where you feel fear, it is where you grow. Stepping forward, confidently, that is the where life really beings, it the beginning.

Pursue the things you want, what you believe in, what you stand for, what makes you feel unapologetically you. Believe in yourself, in the possibility, in the strength of your heart, soul, and mind.