6.25.2014

My wife is away for 2 weeks and I started writing about it on Facebook. Below are the first few entries and you can find more here: www.facebook.com/mfrphoto

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June 21Day 0.After 2 exciting weeks in Ukraine I came home - and today Amy left for 2 weeks in the Netherlands, Belgium and Luxembourg. Someday we'll travel together again... but for now I'm on dad duty until July 3.My question is: what should I do to surprise my wife when she returns? What would you want?

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June 22Day 1 of solo parenting: the kids begged for a swim and a picnic and I complied, even though it made for late bedtimes.
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June 23Day 2 of solo parenting: Natalie likes to make declarative sentences and then feels a need to prove herself right. As in: I don't need to hold hands to cross the street! Or: I don't like this toothpaste [which she has used every night for months], I like yours! Or: I need to wear a diaper! Why does Jacob get one, I need one too!

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June 24Day 3 of solo parenting. How do single parents do this? Today I was so busy working that I barely had time to go to Work.6 pm is not the best time to grocery shop with 2 young kids, but it was the only time it fit. Had I not kept policing Natalie, our cart would have ended up with matzoh ball soup mix, froot loops, honey nut cheerios, 16 hot dog buns, organic multigrain penne, and single-serving cups of cinnamon applesauce in it. As she proudly announced at checkout: "I helped my daddy the WHOLE TIME!"

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June 25Day 4 of solo parenting.Me: Natalie, no more snuggles, you need to go to sleep. It's late, it's 10:30 at night.I leave, followed by minutes of Natalie screaming and banging on her door.Natalie: Daddy come back now, I'm really ready, I need a hug, I hitted my head.Me: I won't come back unless you lay your head on your pillow and stop talking.Natalie: I don't want daddy's rules, I want mommy'srules.

Confession: I am so cold hearted when Natalie has her meltdowns, which are frequent. But what am I teaching her by refusing her more coddling?

I read an article yesterday about the psychobiology of love, and the "micromoments of connection" that build love up. How important physical contact and eye contact are to feeling loved and teaching lovingkindess.

So at school drop off this morning, I tried asking Natalie to look into my eyes when she was upset and she refused to do it. Too much intimacy for her? She wanted to hug but averted her eyes and then pushed away.

When did you last stare lovingly into your kids' eyes? I am now convinced I do it too rarely.June 26:
Day 5 of solo parenting. I was tired all day after Natalie stayed up late and woke up early. Tonight I just decided to fall asleep in her room. I'll stagger off to my own bed now after filing this report.Week 2 is here:http://mfrphoto.blogspot.com/2014/07/diary-of-solo-parent-week-2.html