Forum » Topic: UKIP to outsource policy making to Chinahttp://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60971
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Ironduke on "UKIP to outsource policy making to China"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60971#post-177440
Fri, 10 May 2013 10:49:14 +0000Ironduke177440@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>This is an example of such a fantastic original concept that its a challenge to pick which of the many opportunities to include; great collaboration and when I read the FP I cam hunting for it to read again. Marvellous.
</p>Lenny Bee on "UKIP to outsource policy making to China"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60971#post-177424
Fri, 10 May 2013 09:09:53 +0000Lenny Bee177424@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Ha! Congratulations Atters and Oxbridge.</p>
<p>Having said that, I've just read the 'finished' product. The rewrite of the rewrite of the rewrite as it were.</p>
<p>For my money someone should immediately decapitate the entire first para that ended up on the FP - and stick it upon a bloodied spike on Tower Hill - as a glorious example of how not to.</p>
<p>Really.</p>
<p>:)
</p>Oxbridge on "UKIP to outsource policy making to China"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60971#post-177338
Thu, 09 May 2013 17:54:50 +0000Oxbridge177338@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Erk, should delete 'rules and' in penultimate para. Bump.
</p>atters on "UKIP to outsource policy making to China"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60971#post-177322
Thu, 09 May 2013 15:23:24 +0000atters177322@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>thanks flash, and oxbridge - nice one, reads much better :)
</p>Oxbridge on "UKIP to outsource policy making to China"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60971#post-177266
Thu, 09 May 2013 11:44:26 +0000Oxbridge177266@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>With permission I hope, an attempted expansion:</p>
<p>Following the success of UKIP gaining seats in many local elections the party has listened to advice to find some more policies and outsourced its entire policy making to a Chinese policy factory.</p>
<p>'Keeping policy making in the UK has been verging on impossible for some time now – we have simply run out of ideas,' said newly appointed party spokesman Xin Jian. 'Our friends in Guangdong have a superb work ethic and hold greater academic credibility than our onshore source of crude populism. And working conditions there are fairly good by Chinese standards.'</p>
<p>British voters have mixed feelings on the subject. Floating voter Reginald Evergreen, 54, from Lincolnshire said that it made perfect sense as eveything else in house was made in China, while his wife Raquel, 23, said that she votes UKIP and so is not in a position to make an informed judgement on anything.</p>
<p>At Edinburgh zoo, Ling Ling and Jing Jing, two temporarily resident Chinese nationals were less impressed. 'We just came here to relax for a couple of years without state intervention,' said Ling Ling. The NHS is known to be brilliant and we were hoping to get pregnant with their help. If we start importing policies from Guangdong it will probably be harder for us to immigrate so freely and boost the local economy.'</p>
<p>So far, the Chinese policy-making unit has come up with a number of suggestions that have found favour with UKIP chiefs, including ingrained suspicion of anything foreign, strict and arbitary rules and residence rules, knocking down town centres and replacing them with concrete, capital punishment for petty theft and having the country ruled entirely by bitter old men who think the world has gone to pot since the 1950s. </p>
<p>'We have found it harder to sell them the idea of a one-child policy,' admitted Xin Jian. 'Though in the case of the average UKIP member, that would seem to be an academic point.'
</p>FlashArry on "UKIP to outsource policy making to China"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60971#post-177150
Wed, 08 May 2013 21:35:25 +0000FlashArry177150@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Nice one atters - nudged back to the top of the pile
</p>atters on "UKIP to outsource policy making to China"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60971#post-177045
Wed, 08 May 2013 14:47:07 +0000atters177045@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Voters from across British constituencies have been expressing their opinions. Reginald Evergreen, 54, from Lincolnshire told reporters “It makes perfect sense, my phone is made in China, as is my TV, don’t see the problem.”<br />
His wife, Raquel, 23, added “I voted for UKIP so I’m certainly not in a position to make an informed decision on the matter”.<br />
North of the Border, Sunshine and Sweetie, Chinese nationals currently resident in Edinburgh, were less impressed “We just came here for a bit of an easy ride for a couple of years without state intervention. The NHS is great and we were hoping to get pregnant with their help. If we start getting policies from Guangdong it will probably be harder for us to immigrate so freely.”
</p>atters on "UKIP to outsource policy making to China"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60971#post-177040
Wed, 08 May 2013 14:29:05 +0000atters177040@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Thanks for the feedback folk, this is my first effort in writing publically so i'm really pleased not to have been bombed! how do you do a shout out for help?
</p>Skylarking on "UKIP to outsource policy making to China"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60971#post-176991
Wed, 08 May 2013 12:28:01 +0000Skylarking176991@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Atters. This is crying out to be turned into tomorrow's front page. It's a great idea. Keep writing. Or do a shout out for other help. Don't let this go to waste.
</p>Oxbridge on "UKIP to outsource policy making to China"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60971#post-176970
Wed, 08 May 2013 11:58:15 +0000Oxbridge176970@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>There is a great sub in this idea waiting to be done, satiring UKIP and Chinese chauvinism in equal (all right not necessarily) measure.
</p>atters on "UKIP to outsource policy making to China"http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=60971#post-176942
Wed, 08 May 2013 10:35:13 +0000atters176942@http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/<p>Following the success of UKIP gaining seats in many local elections the party has taken the decision to move their policy making to a Chinese policy factory.<br />
Newly appointed party spokesman Xin Jian said “This is a bid to move away from away from our popularist and culturally naïve position. We took this decision as keeping our policy making in the UK has been verging on impossible for some time now – we have simply run out of ideas. In addition our friends in Guangdong have a superb work ethic and hold greater academic credibility than our ‘onshore’ think tank. This move can only be good for Britain.”<br />
Voters from across British constituencies have been expressing their opinions. Reginald Evergreen, 54, from Lincolnshire told reporters “It makes perfect sense, my phone is made in China, as is my TV, don’t see the problem.”<br />
His wife however, Raquel, 23, added little “Don't ask me, I voted for UKIP so I’m certainly not in a position to make an informed decision on the matter”.<br />
North of the Border, Sunshine and Sweetie, Chinese nationals currently resident in Edinburgh, were less impressed “We just came here to relax for a couple of years without state intervention. The NHS is known to be brilliant and we were hoping to get pregnant with their help. If we start getting policies from Guangdong it will probably be harder for us to immigrate so freely and boost the local economy. I mean, it shouldn't be one rule for a person, and another for Pandas.”<br />
UKIPs' Mr Jian went on to tell us "Working conditions in the policy factory are excellent by highest Chinese standards".
</p>