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Saturday, June 19, 2010

Friends That Last

Brianne is one of those friends that I'm surprised have stuck with me so long! No joke.

I went through a serious identity crisis a few years ago. Let me explain.

When I got married, it was one of the best days of my life besides accepting Christ into my heart. Charles was like my knight and shining armor that rescued me from a very bad situation. A situation I got myself into but had a hard time getting out of.

Well, when I got married I found it very hard to be "the wifey" that I knew was expected of me. I know about submission and all that stuff. I know most tend to throw that part out of the window but I also know some guys take that to the extreme and abuse it. I was the one where I believed in the concept of it but once my husband told me a decision, I would argue my way till I got what I wanted. Later I learn that was called manipulation. Sometimes it's just better to say okay and then if I really feel like it's important, then pray about what I should do. A lot of times, if my husband is wrong, he'll come to me about it later and we'll talk about it. Other times, I'm so grateful he held me back on a bad decision.

Taking care of home was good in theory but I knew very little about cooking or cleaning. I always dreamt of homemaking but when it came down to it, it was hard. So then I joined a homemaking group so I could learn more and push myself in that direction. They talked much about everything I needed to know but were a little on the extreme side. Brianne and I went together for a few years but eventually she dropped out. I thought she just didn't care about homemaking but I later dropped out also. Sometimes moms groups can be scary. A comparison thing. Sometimes it can make you look at yourself and constantly feel inadequate. While I tried for years to be like these other women that practically made everything homemade down to their soap they use, I didn't quite figure it that it just wasn't who I was. I tried to turn this spontaneous, messy, adventurous mom into a planning, organized, perfectionist guru and just never quite succeeded. I slid into a slump and eventually just figured I wasn't cut out for this job and was just ready to quit.

Brianne figured it out way before I did. We are all different. Some moms are born perfectionists and some (like myself) have to push my self daily to discipline myself. Some are born great cooks and some have to learn through many trial and errors (and embarrassing dinner gags). Some are masters at scrapbooking and some would rather just buy a nice photo album to keep their pictures in. Some like to craft their own kid's clothes and some would rather buy the clothes in the stores. One is not better than the other. One doesn't make them a better Proverbs 31 woman better than the other. This is the difference.

However it's done, Proverbs 31 is basically talking about not eating the bread of idleness. A woman being busy in taking care of her children and home. However it's done. There is no perfect mold. One can snub their nose on another but oh well. Thank goodness we are not all from one same mold! That would be weird. Kind of like The Stepford Wives. Creepy. God is looking for progression not perfection. Thank goodness for me!