Newt Gingrich Is All Out Of Whore Diamonds

We have had a lot of fun over the years pointing and laughing at Ol’ Yeller, Newt Gingrich. One of the things we have liked best is laughing about how very bad he is with money, because of how he is a common hustler who rips off everyone within a 26,000-mile radius. But today, Reuters points us to a tragic tale: not only is Newtypie’s campaign 80 trillion dollars in debt or whatever, but his personal fortune — his “empire” pulled in $110 million over the past decade — welp, that’s gone too and everyone is as bankrupt as Donald Trump. OH NOEZ!

The Gingrich Group bankruptcy proceedings spotlight the remarkable reversal of fortune of the half-dozen organizations associated with Gingrich. The presidential contender recently ended his campaign $4.8 million in debt. A political nonprofit he headed, American Solutions for Winning the Future, which raised $52 million between its founding in 2007 and its dissolution last July, also ended in debt.

That would buy so very many whore diamonds. Have these people no priorities? Let us read some more eye-goggling numbers please, Reuters, perhaps with a bonus aside about what a liar the entire right wing is about their stupid keening over NAZI SOSHULIST MANDATES!

Opened in 2003, the [Gingrich-founded Center for Health Transformation] pulled in $59 million over nine years from more than 300 companies, some of which paid as much as $200,000 in dues. Among its activities, the center and Gingrich helped push a mandate requiring everyone to carry health insurance. At the time, the position was beneficial to the center’s healthcare industry members, but Gingrich later repudiated it as a candidate.

Desmond said revenues fell from just under $7 million in 2010 to $4 million in 2011 and then to less than $300,000 in the first quarter of this year. Some $1.2 million in dues that had been expected earlier this year never materialized because those members also decided not to renew. By March the center was no longer able to pay the rent on its suite of offices in Atlanta and Washington.

Republicans are so good at fiscal “conservatism,” aren’t they? (No they are not.) Anyway, everybody in the world is suing everybody else in the world, and Newt Gingrich is only one creditor among many suing this Health Whoozit because he sold it to them and now he wants to get paid back first and stuff, but they are not paying him and Callista back and so any second now they will be eating hobo beans, sadface!

Court documents list 64 creditors in the Center for Health Transformation bankruptcy, including the state of Missouri for income taxes ($894) and two Atlanta hotels – the St. Regis ($46,000) and Ritz Carlton ($8,500).

Well, after all. Maureen Dowd said Newt is the "projanitor of the modern politics of personal destruction." He couldn't be trusted to pick up after his party's mess so of course he's left to clean up his own.

Dudleydidwrong

It is for certain for sure that any 5th grader could do the janitorial job better than The Newt. He'd always be tryin' to sneak into the ladies room to take a peek at what Callista hasn't shown him for months. Oh, the constant headaches!

Barb

Callista strikes me as one of those frosty chicks who keeps her tampons in the freezer.

FNMA

She calls her vagina "the freezer"?

Barb

"ice box"

timbo71351

That doughy motherfucker wouldn't last a day as a janitor.

HippieEsq

I just saw Callista playing her harp at the top of the Metro Center Escalators…

tessiee

The classical music kind, or the blues kind?

SorosBot

Did he take business tips, along with the mistress tips, from Trump?

Callyson

As in the Trump who declared bankruptcy for his various businesses about four times? Yeah, probably…

Regarding that, how the fuck does someone run a casino into bankruptcy?

prommie

You pay too fucking much money for it, and borrow at too high a rate of interest, so that it can't support the debt. In other words, basic business incompetence.

prommie

Here's a fun Donald Trump fact; at one point, his first casino was so in the hole, he had to make a quarterly bond interest payment, didn't have the money, and the Casino Control Commission won't let a casino go on the street for money, so he was stuck. So he had his father go to the casino, walk up to the cage, and buy $4 million or something like that in chips, and then he just walked out the door with the chips. When someone takes chips from a casino, they are leaving cash behind, so that cash appears as part of the take for that night. Totally illegal, and how sad, his daddy had to come rescue his sorry smelly douche ass.

memzilla

GRIFTER FAIL!

Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200 Million Dollars.

elgin_pelican

Better lock up that swag, Cruella, he's getting desperate.

mavenmaven

Looking forward to the Gingrich Diamond Auction, or will he just use the local pawnshop?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

I am owed probably 15,000 for pain and anguish due to no promised moon base!

http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

Take heart. He could still be appointed Moon Czar.

elviouslyqueer

Enjoy your penury, you bloated, pathetic, morally ambiguous poopsack.

Isyaignert

And those are Gnewt's good points!

BaldarTFlagass

Scam dude is scammy.

freakishlywrong

Fuck the world, these noxious gasbags! We need an intervention, we've got to get our citizens out of this cult.

as some wise men once sang:
So what now? It's plain to see we're over,
And I hate when things are over –
When so much is left undone

Grief_Lessons

I see what you did there. As I recall I think we both kind of liked it.

memzilla

So I guess Newt's attorneys are advising him to go Chapter 11 first, before he gets his everybody-sees-this-one-coming obligatory Faux News talking head gig. This way, the creditors won't get their hands on any of that money.

It's clear that Newt needs a transformational rethinking of debt, so he'll create a new policy center/thinktank to study it. Please send a donation to his fund bundlers so he can schedule the groundbreaking ceremony for the new trailer.

fuflans

this will, fundamentally, get america back on track.

Veritas78

It signals a paradigm shift in our American polity.

Baconzgood

Deficits don't matter (to Newt), unless the money is owed to Newt.

http://www.marionstein.net MarionNYNY

Well that's what happens when you marry a blonde whose role model is Lorelei Lee.

FNMA

Morally bankrupt sack of shit is also fiscally bankrupt? Really? Shocked, I am…

freakishlywrong

What's the over/under on how fast Callista bails on this human fartsac? Because money.

chicken_thief

Somehow, I'm thinking her options aren't exactly wide open.

owhatever

This is the man the Foxie-Rush crowd called an economic genius. Is it too much to hope that he will not rise again? This hero who helped Reagan win the race colonize the outer moons of Dune, and who told Tom Jefferson what the Lord wanted in the Constitution? We will never see him again? Yea?

Lascauxcaveman

I knew something good would come from that interminable Republican primary season.
: )

Slim_Pickins

Well at least he has his writing to fall back on.

Callyson

Gingrich will ask for his bailout in 3…2…1…

Hera Sent Me

Newt demands everybody else exercise self-discipline, but he never does. Irresponsible in politics, in his personal affairs and with (other people's) money.

I didn't know hypocrisy is fattening.

MissTaken

I assume one of the 64 creditors is Callista's hairstyler, too. Shellac ain't cheap!

BaldarTFlagass

Yo Newt, I'll give ya 35 bucks a week to service the pool, and 80 bucks every two weeks to cut the grass (including the weed-eater detail work). $125 to the wifey to clean house every two weeks. Bootstraps!!!

Exhausted66

OT My favorite is Newt advising Obama to lay off the Bain angle because it didn't work for him. Oh, okay – because the Rethugs telling you to stop bitching about "capitalism" is the same as it "not working."

MrFizzy

Anyone who gets screwed by this guy deserves it – just read the fucking newspaper.

George Spelvin

You know, in most cases, I tend to sympathize with the sucker who gets grifted, but in this case — as you say — there really was enough easily available advance evidence.

V572 Is this him?

Okay, here's hoping Newt lives in a state where creditors can go after his house, which if it's Virginia yes, his creditors can SKULLFUCK NEWT'S MORTGAGE and turn him out on the street.

Skullfry Buddha

Isn't he the dude that doesn't know how many homes he owns? Oh wait, that's Walnuts.

Well I guess this is the end for Newt and his outrageous scams. Oh wait, that's what we all said last time…

bureaucrap

He could raise money by selling his blubber. There's enough there to power Minneapolis for a year.

BigSkullF*ckingDog

Just a matter of time before we see Callista on the Home Shopping Channel.

NellCote71

Don't think there is much of a market for her, even on the Home Shopping Channel.

Veritas78

I dunno — stick her head in a bucket of sand, stuff some gladiolas down her twat, and you have a dramatic objet d'art. Works best in a foyer, though.

http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

Typical Newt. He has essentially stolen from the vendors but has protected himself in the process.

el_donaldo

What's a hustler to do when the hustle's over? Open another phony non-profit and turn on another money faucet.

MissTaken

I suggest shorting Tiffany stock ASAP.

radio-of-owls

"I find it extraordinary that I, a transformational figure who has been talking about saving civilization since August of 1958, have to bum quarters off people in the subway station."

http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

Buh-bye Callista, in 3…2…1….

coolhandnuke

When they repossess his two toilets we can can all smile, have a cocktail and laugh at this floater finally drifting out to sea.

valgal2342

The sea doesn't deserve that.

coolhandnuke

Does "Bay of Pigs" work?

Dudleydidwrong

Wonder if Liberty University needs an adjunct professor of distorted history? All the tenured track history positions at the University of West Georgia are filled.

chicken_thief

I wouldn't start getting all teary eyed for the Gingriches just yet. The man has various money making activities, so a few go bankrupt? No big deal. Just start over with a new scam and keep on grifting.

It ain't like the chubby fuck is going to have to get a job or anything.

fartknocker

Grifters just keep on grifting. If he looses his house in GA, I understand Bristol Palin has a lovely 3-2 house/meth lab in beautiful Maricopa, Arizona for rent.

Antispandex

When I see him in line at the food bank, I'll believe he has a real problem. Some how, I just have to think he's going to come out of this OK…after all, he's the Newt!

prommie

Just more proof of what a failure Obamanomics has been. How many more small businesses have to fail before people admit Obama is destroying the economy?

Isyaignert

Gnewt will get a gig on Fux News – it's where all the wanna-bes and has-beens end up.

Well, the difference between Gingrich and Trump is that Trump can make money, while Gringrich usually just begs for it. Of course, Trump brings in money in the most tacky ways possible, but even a reality show is more honorable than Newtie's day to day activities.

josephbrill

Newt, the person, is still rich from selling his books at full retail price to his campaign, right?

http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

The bidding is now open on Callista!

ThundercatHo

I bid 40 quatloos. ( I always wanted to get you guys something nice.)

http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

Aw, but quatloos are not whore diamonds!

tessiee

For what? Buffalo wings?

DahBoner

Are you better off today or when Newt put out his failed Contact with America?

Oh wait!

President Blowjob was in charge back then…

http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

Whoa! I though I was the only one who read Science Daily!

OneYieldRegular

Declaring bankruptcy is so nanny state. Fiscal conservatives must band together to protest this shameful sense of entitlement and lack of personal accountability.

Lionel[redacted]Esq

I can't believe that Newt sought the Socialist, Government protection of bankruptcy. Whatever happened to personal responsibility.

Tundra Grifter

Tumblr?

Isn't that what Editrix Rebecca was taking with the tv chef guy?

Lionel[redacted]Esq

Newt is probably trying to get Callista to smoke so she can develop cancer and he can dump her for a nice rich lady.

chascates

His ideas were just too advanced for the current marketplace.

fuflans

it would be ineffably pleasing if the gingrich's had to resort to some form of government assistance.