Fun Times in Ohio

Ohio. Land of contrasts. Or is that New Mexico? Well it doesn’t matter. All I know is, LeBron is back in Cleveland, James Traficant is still in prison (unless he was finally beamed up after all), my pals at the Ashbrook Center are rolling along (Ben Carson appearing there August 21), and the punch line of “What goes ‘clop, clop, bang’?” (answer: an Amish drive-by shooting) isn’t all that funny.

The most fatal campaign season photo since Gary Hart on the Monkey Business

Then there’s Governor John Kasich, he of the more than slightly frenetic disposition. In case you’re not following governor’s races this fall (and Power Line’s election desk generally passes over them), Kasich looks to be cruising to an easy re-election, while Scott Walker in Wisconsin, Rick Scott in Florida, and Rick Snyder in Michigan, all face tough races. And Kasich’s road to re-election just got easier in the last 48 hours with the breaking of this story, which will challenge even Mark Steyn’s guffaw reflex:

Revelations interrupt a day of campaigning for Ed FitzGerald, add another hurdle in his bid for governor

CLEVELAND, Ohio – Ed FitzGerald’s bid for governor took a tumble Friday, as potentially damaging revelations pulled him from the campaign trail and forced him to defend himself while accusing Gov. John Kasich of masterminding a scheme to smear the Democratic challenger.

The Cuyahoga County executive said he and Joanne Grehan, whom he identified as a friend visiting with an Ireland delegation, had not done anything inappropriate when Westlake police confronted them at 4:30 a.m. on Oct. 13, 2012.

Officers had responded to a call about a suspicious car at an industrial complex. FitzGerald, who said he and Grehan were trying to locate a half-dozen lost friends, was not charged with a crime.

Well, he should at least be charged with criminal stupidity, shouldn’t he? 4:30 in the morning. Parked in an industrial park. Yeah, right. More:

NEOMG reported that an electrician working at a Westlake industrial complex alerted police to a suspicious car that he said had been parked outside for about a half-hour.

“I don’t know if they’re having sex in the parking lot or what they’re doing here,” the witness said in his call, which was recorded.

“I don’t know if they don’t notice all my lights inside and they’re just … something, but all I keep seeing is like something going back and forth, and I’m like, eh, you know what, this is a little fishy,” the witness added. “And I know the owner here wouldn’t really want this here.”

Fitzgerald’s mistake is obvious. He should be running for governor in Louisiana.