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How will I survive Child-Led Weaning?

Okay, so I AM committed to CLW, I just don't know how I'm gonna handle it. DD still nurses a ton most days, but has days when we're out and about and she's distracted and doesn't nurse much. I've noticed that after those days I get really depressed the next day/few days. So how am I going to survive the next months/years of this inconsistent nursing?

Re: How will I survive Child-Led Weaning?

hmmmm....are you depressed the next day or few days because she's nursed less and you miss it? Or because she's nursing more again and making up for lost milk so to speak?

My oldest son self weaned at age 2, and I was ready for it. Nursing past one or so was hard for me. I wasn't used to being touched so much, as I was after I became a mom, and with breastfeeding, you're being touched almost 24/7 I was getting irritable, and felt ready to quit, so when DS self weaned, I was a little happy. ALMOST a little happy anyway He nursed for the last time a couple of days before his 2nd birthday, and thinking about that now makes me get all teary eyed, because I really think he should've nursed longer than that, but that my night weaning him months earlier interfered with his nursing. He's 5 now, and I still when I think about how I KNOW he needed to continue to nurse, but that my night weaning him early contributed to him weaning early on his own later on.

Anyway though...tears over...my youngest son is 2.5 years old and still nursing. There are stressful days where he wants to nurse when I want to do something else, and I set limits. There are days where he is busy and we're out and about and he doesn't nurse all day and I'm sad that we missed our time to reconnect. But through it all, my 2nd nursing experience is SO much different than it was with my first son. You see, I came to terms with the fact that DS weaning didn't lead me to feel any less touched out Nursing my 2.5 year old is a BLESSING, because it's a surefire way to END a tantrum in seconds, cure a skinned knee, and a myriad of other little things too.

There are ups and downs throughout it all though. I still think it's weird though, that with DS1 I was SO ready for him to hurry up and self wean, but with DS2, I'm happy he's still nursing, and will be more sad when he finally weans.

Re: How will I survive Child-Led Weaning?

I by no means am wanting her to wean anytime soon. She is welcome to stay my baby in that respect for as long as she wants. I think I get blue because of the hormonal shifts, not because of it being emotional that she does or doesn't want to nurse as much, if that makes sense. I've been battling PPD and PMDD and depression in general pretty much since puberty. I've just noticed the pattern since we tend to have the same schedule each week, I tend to be depressed on the same days (after). I'm on Zoloft, but I'm thinking I might have a hormone imbalance. It's just hard riding the roller coaster, KWIM?

Re: How will I survive Child-Led Weaning?

How old is your LO? We are doing CLW (although I have initiated some changes carefully myself) and I remember going through an emotional time at around 16 months, when DS started to nurse more erratically. He had been nursing regularly 4-5 times a day and then it started to change. Some days it'd be twice, other days ten times - depending on how confident he was or interested in exploring or needing reassurance or teething. It was erratic like that for several months and it was very emotional for me. I do think the hormones are responsible for a lot of that. All my friends in the same situation have experienced the same blues/depression, and I remember taking a couple of pregnancy tests during that time because I felt so weird. I also think the feeling or fear of being out of control contributes a lot to our emotional state at this time. It is hard to cope with a situation when you don't know how long it will last and feel like you have no influence. It really helped me to have a close friend going through it at the same time so we could compare notes - and just understand each other. I felt pretty low for a few months after DS started nursing less and then I think my hormones adjusted and I also came to terms with my decision to continue nursing and let him wean in his own time. I wish I'd read 'How Weaning Happens' back then. By 21 months, he was nursing about once a day and now (25 months) it's between once a week or once a day, usually depending on teething!

Re: How will I survive Child-Led Weaning?

Aren't hormones the worst?! I know what you mean by those days when you're not nursing as much, it's hard. Then when you get the chance to sit down (or lay down) to nurse it's such a relief. Sometimes I wonder who enjoys nursing more, me or DS.

I've recently gone off Zoloft, as of about a month ago... and I had to do some major adjustments because I felt the same way. Just really up and down with how toddler nursing goes, some days a lot and some days not as much. My hormones were whacky on the weekends when DF is home and DS distracted enough to not nurse a lot.

For me, I am really good about my diet- lots of lean proteins and leafy greens. I get out in the sunlight every day. I take 2 fish oil caps, 1 multi vit, and 100 MG B6. The biggest thing is that I also exercise every other day and stick to it. I jog, lift free weights at home, and on my 'days off' from working out I take long walks with DS and my dogs. When you exercise, I can't explain it.. but your mind somehow gets past the 'down' and hormonal things you're feeling. You know that 'ahhhh relief' feeling you get when you nurse? The same thing happens to me when I exercise, even when I'm just going for a long walk.

I hope that helps a bit, that's what is working for me!!!!

How long have you been on Zoloft? I wonder if your dose needs adjusting? I was really sensitive to that and found 50 MG the perfect amount. I was actually on 100 MG every day but realized I felt way better on a lower dose.

Re: How will I survive Child-Led Weaning?

OMG, I had to bump this because I'm feeling the same way as the OP... I was looking through the old threads and just came across this one. DS is almost 13 months and now is very distracted and nursing much more erratically... some days I start getting quite full because he's gone up to 6 hrs without nursing during the day. Up until recently I could pretty much count on him nursing every 3-4 hrs during the day. It's not like that anymore. I really don't want him to wean anytime soon. I hate it when he pops on and then gets impatient for the letdown and then pops off right before the letdown and won't re-latch. Then I feel like I need to pump because I can't stand the feeling of the milk wanting to come out but him not nursing.

I really do think it's the hormones that contribute to the way we're feeling. On the days when he does nurse pretty regularly, I feel fine. On days when he's all over the place and I almost fear we're starting a strike, I feel awful. The unpredictability of it is really stressful. Then I start wondering if he's going on a strike, or starting to wean, or just cutting way back all of a sudden. It's like being on a roller coaster.

Re: How will I survive Child-Led Weaning?

Originally Posted by @llli*lovebeingmommy

I hate it when he pops on and then gets impatient for the letdown and then pops off right before the letdown and won't re-latch. Then I feel like I need to pump because I can't stand the feeling of the milk wanting to come out but him not nursing.

lovebeingmommy, I wonder if you have tried to achieve a letdown before your son latches on? Breast massage and expressing off some milk (either by hand or with a pump) before latching him on might give him a quicker "reward" and make him less likely to pop off frustrated. You may also consider breast compression while he is nursing, which may also give him more milk while you're doing it. If you want any more info on how to do these things, just let me know, OK?

Re: How will I survive Child-Led Weaning?

Originally Posted by @llli*green.momma

How long have you been on Zoloft? I wonder if your dose needs adjusting? I was really sensitive to that and found 50 MG the perfect amount. I was actually on 100 MG every day but realized I felt way better on a lower dose.

how do you know when your meds need to be adjusted ive been wondering for myself