Rant or Rave: Wedding Crashers

You invite a friend to your wedding. You’ve perfectly budgeted, so when he asks if he can bring his girlfriend, you give him your regrets and let him know that you simply can’t accommodate another guest. He knows at least a dozen other people at the wedding, so you assure him it will be fun without his girlfriend by his side.

Your big day arrives, and lo and behold you see your friend saunter up with his girlfriend. Iin front of all of your guests while you are standing there in your wedding attire with your new spouse, he asks, “It’s okay if Jenny stays for the reception, right?”

This is a classic wedding crasher sabotage move. Bringing a guest who is not invited is a faux pas all on its own, but asking your permission on the day of your wedding is downright rude.

What would you do? Smile and say, “Of course,” or toss him and his girlfriend out to make more room for your more polite friends?

What’s the proper way to handle a wedding crasher? Is it the more the merrier? Rant or rave about it!

About Katie

Katie M. is a Writer at Wedding Paper Divas. She has the privilege of viewing nearly every piece of stationery before it goes up on the website, giving her the ultimate inside scoop on upcoming trends in the stationery world. She loves classic designs with a surprising twist, and enjoys finding new ways to express her ever-evolving personal style—a blend of traditional glamour and bohemian whimsy that makes Wedding Paper Divas a perfect fit!
In addition to her love for writing, Katie is obsessed with health and fitness, skincare, UC Santa Barbara, all things adorable, the beach, dancing, cooking, getting real mail, fresh flowers, discount shopping, and shoes (who isn’t?).
Katie is a contributing editor to Diva Dialogue. Be sure to check out her recurring feature, “Rant or Rave.”

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6 thoughts on “Rant or Rave: Wedding Crashers”

Since you being the bride have sooo many other friends there, I personally would tell the guy friend and Jenny to hit the road. Weddings are big bucks , receptions take up at least 60% of that cost. You are most likely already paying for a few dinners for guests you didn’t really want to invite anyways, but at least they were invited.
Thats my two cents.

I dunno… I don’t think it’s appropriate to ask to bring a guest that wasn’t invited, but I think the original faux pas was not inviting his girlfriend in the first place if she knew he was in a relationship. Saying, “Oh, you should be okay with me dissing your girlfriend because you’ll know other people there” doesn’t really make it okay. Caterers make at least 10% extra food, people who replied that they would come bail at the last minute; ultimately, one person wouldn’t been even a speed bump in my day.

If it were my wedding I would tell them to leave…. I didn’t have any extra seats at my wedding and afterward the kitchen told us they only ended up with 1 extra meal. So at my wedding that one person would have not really worked! It would be different if he had asked at least days if not weeks before.

I personally feel it’s very rude and well out of order! If it was a friend and he invited someone, unfortunately I’d have to let them stay as I’d feel rotten turfing them out and on my wedding day, I just wouldn’t want the stress. Letting it go would be easier and we’d just make room. I would probably not be so friendly with the guy after the wedding though and make it clear how unhappy I was – who wants friends like that anyway?

I see what Julie is saying about the caterer having extra food, but just on principal alone I would not let them stay. He was just assuming that she would say yes and in case she didn’t he made sure to put her on the spot. I wish someone would try that with me at my wedding! I am known for being very blunt with people, so they know better

Oh I would let them stay….but I would pull him aside and let him know that I confirmed the catering number the day before and do not have any extra meals. We have an open bar and plenty of desert, so they are more than welcome to indulge there. But he will share his meal with her, no doubt. It’s INCREDIBLY rude to bring someone uninvited, especially after he asked and was told not to.

And to the person who said it was rude not to invite the girlfriend in the first place: have you ever heard of a budget? Sometimes extended family, friends and coworkers are axed from the list for the sake of the budget. There’s no way in hell some freeloader girlfriend is taking their place at my wedding.