Being in a relationship but clicking with another person?

Being in a relationship but clicking with another person?LumpySpacePrincess
2 kids;
New Zealand17060 posts

2nd Feb '13

*note, this is not about me, just a thought that popped into my head today*

Do you think that you can be in a happy relationship and still "click" with someone else on a deep level? I mean like, having that feeling of closeness and that you could tell them everything and they make you genuinely happy.

Or does that mean you aren't that happy in the relationship you have and are seeking that feeling elsewhere?

Quoting LumpySpacePrincess:" *note, this is not about me, just a thought that popped into my head today* Do you think that you can ... [snip!] ... genuinely happy. Or does that mean you aren't that happy in the relationship you have and are seeking that feeling elsewhere?"

In your hypothetical, are you "clicking" like that with your SO also? Or just sort of content with your SO but connecting on this super deep level only with the other person?

I believe so since humans are not meant to be with just one person. It could also mean that you aren't happy or the other person gives you something that the individual you're in a relationship with doesn't.

Quoting Blair Waldorf (SuperKink):" In your hypothetical, are you "clicking" like that with your SO also? Or just sort of content with your SO but connecting on this super deep level only with the other person?"

Lets just say for sake of different sides, one person is clicking with their partner in the same way, but another person in the same situation isn't.

I think you can *click* with many different people in your life on a deep level it's about wether or not you decide to try and make it something more than what it is. People click on extremely deep levels with friends of the same sex but when they do the same with a member of the opposite sex they start freaking out and reading too much into it. There are many people who freak out if they find someone else attractive or have a lot in common with another person and they start thinking omg does this mean I'm not ment to be with my SO, is this a sign from the universe/God and I'm just like no it means you're a human being now calm down and get over it :roll: lol

Quoting LumpySpacePrincess:" Lets just say for sake of different sides, one person is clicking with their partner in the same way, but another person in the same situation isn't."

I definitely think it's possible to find that closeness with someone else and still be clicking like that with your SO. But I also think that if that situation happens, you need to decide which person you want to "click" with and dissolve the other relationship. Your ultimate goal is to spend the rest of your life with your partner and share everything with each other. Not with the third wheel over there.

Now if it's a case of only clicking with the outside party and not with your SO at all, then SO needs to go. Obviously your relationship isn't as deeply rooted or connected as you thought it was and you're searching for something deep and meaningful somewhere else.

Quoting Blair Waldorf (SuperKink):" I definitely think it's possible to find that closeness with someone else and still be clicking like ... [snip!] ... as deeply rooted or connected as you thought it was and you're searching for something deep and meaningful somewhere else."

But does searching for something like that mean it's over or that you just aren't putting in enough effort?

Quoting LumpySpacePrincess:" But does searching for something like that mean it's over or that you just aren't putting in enough effort?"

You can only put in so much effort. If it isn't there, it isn't there. You just have to recognize the signs. And if you feel like you're trying to connect like that and it's a struggle, then that's not normal.

Yeah. I love dh and he's one of the best things that's ever happened in my life. We've known each other 20 years and definitely beyond "click." I wouldn't trade him for anything, anyone in the world, ever.

But I have a very deep relationship with a long-term ex, who I click with in a different way, and I treasure his friendship.

But I would never ever give up dh or put the ex before him. I don't hide my friendship from dh, and I don't rub it in his face either. We respect each other, and we respect our marriage and family.

edited for a few reasons.
And one of them is to add, the ex and I live hundreds of miles apart and haven't actually seen each other in years. We talk every month or few months or whatever, and we didn't speak for many years. So it's not like we hang out every day. It's an unusual situation.