As common as it is, the topic of miscarriage is still taboo—and the medical details of what actually happens after a miscarriage are hardly discussed either. But Claire Holt, star of The Vampire Diaries and now The Originals, wrote about both in an emotional Instagram post over the weekend. In it, she details all the feelings she experienced in the aftermath of her pregnancy loss and how she's learned to cope.

She explains that the photo she posted, in which she's in a doctor's office giving a thumbs-up, wasn't exactly an accurate depiction of how she felt at that moment. "I took this photo 10 days ago, as I waited for surgery after my sweet little baby lost its heartbeat," she wrote. "I sent it to my fiancé in the waiting room to show him that I was ok. I wasn’t. I’ve never felt more broken in my life."

On top of that, she says she had to go searching for people who understood the emotions she was processing because miscarriages are so rarely talked about openly. "It breaks my heart to think that losing a baby feels like something we have to keep to ourselves," she wrote. "Why is it any different than the death of a loved one? How is it any less meaningful?"

Holt goes on to say that she had a D&C, a surgical procedure that's used to remove tissue from the uterus after a miscarriage.

D&C stands for dilation and curettage. According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG), it involves dilating the cervix and then going in with a curette (a surgical tool) or suction to remove the tissue. A sample of that tissue may be tested to look for chromosomal abnormalities. Although there may be some mild pain and light bleeding or spotting, ACOG explains that most people are able to go back to their normal activities within two days.

Doctors may also use a D&C to diagnose and treat certain conditions (such as abnormal bleeding or uterine polyps), according to the Mayo Clinic. They're also sometimes used to remove tissue from the uterus after an abortion.

The risks of a D&C procedure are rare but include bleeding, infection, perforation of the uterus, and those associated with anesthesia, ACOG explains. In rare cases, the procedure may leave bands of scar tissue in the uterus, which can lead to infertility and changes in your period.

Depending on your specific circumstances, you may not need a D&C after having a miscarriage. If you don't have any signs of an infection, you might be able to just let the miscarriage process continue naturally, the Mayo Clinic explains. However, that may take up to four weeks. If you suspect you may have had a miscarriage, see your doctor for an evaluation. She may suggest medications that help your body expel the tissue and placenta, which can be taken orally or inserted vaginally.

After the procedure, Holt says she went online searching for stories from other people who had been through it and who could relate to her feelings of "depression and hopelessness."

As SELF reported previously, feelings of sadness, guilt, or failure are common after a miscarriage. And it's crucial to allow yourself to grieve in whatever way feels right for you.

But our societal reluctance to be open about miscarriages makes it difficult to know where to turn. After doing some digging online, Holt mentions finding "a community of women who shared [her] exact experience" and one particular blog post that really resonated. And, in the process of talking about it, she found that doing so encouraged others to be open about their experience with pregnancy loss as well. It's estimated that up to 25 percent of pregnancies end in miscarriage, so it's time we stop pretending that this doesn't happen and stop avoiding the discussion.

"Here is what I have learned as I begin to crawl out of the dark hole: support is everything," she wrote. "As soon as I told my story, almost everyone I spoke to told me theirs—their own, their wife’s, their sister’s. So many people go through it and understand the breadth of pain, yet so few people talk about it."