Monday, September 26, 2011

"There's no reason or rhyme to keep me from trying to look at you out of the corner of my eyes,and I know it's so wrong, these feelings belong somewhere else but I can't make them go away. I'm afraid to offer words,afraid to tell you my mind,afraid you'll leave or embrace the me i'm trying to hide.I wish I knew the power to resist to hold you close,to see what might come of this.There's no reason or rhyme to keep me from trying to get into the world hidden in your eyes."

-Reason Or Rhyme by Crimson Epiphany

a lot has been happening to me recently.starting of the new semester is actually not quite as what I've been expecting.i expected it to be as accommodating as the first one,with or without a proper orientation considering the fact that we don't really need one.it turned out that everything is speeding up and one of our lecturers are already on our case.it's a very bad start if you ask me.

enough about classes.as for music,my musical progression is going uphill,although in a slow rate it is indeed still moving.MJ Concert is in 15 days from now,the team needs to get cracking! funny how a small random statement i made to Jyne about having a night dedicated to MJ,could turn out so big. we have teams for design,fundraising,stage,sponsorship and even multimedia.this gonna be big! go Beat It Committee! 800 tickets to sell,8 days left for fundraising and promotional booths. we can do it! i have other performances to prepare for,and the other day i had a last minute performance with Dex on a Sunday.apparently we almost forgot about it if it wasn't for CHing Huei,phew~ we performed "Don't Tell Me" by Avril,a song we've covered before at the Amphitheatre in uni.it went well.

love life? well the universe decided to speed up my first move,although it hasn't happened,but the incidences really did encourage me to do it.the random places i tend to bump into him,all the times i was left alone by the gang to stay with him and him only,the signs he showed that everyone else saw except for me,are they all leading to something or just merely another delusion of mine? why does the universe keep shoving it in my face and refusing to let me deny these feelings? i've had enough pain and i don't wanna lose another friend,although i do admit that i have fallen head over heels.one of the scariest coincidences is of course,the one in Starbucks.I had two hours to kill and a sudden desire to grab a frap and possibly hog the wifi there is strongly urging.so as i sat down,i felt how lonely it was to be alone in a cold cafe.i had Wish You Were Here - Avril playing on my mp3,yes i did wished you were there,then POOF! there you are,with your drink and your food. we sat together and talked,with some occasional silence here and there since both of us are either busy with the games we're playing or checking our social network accounts. i don't feel awkward,i love silence.and i love it when you're consumed with whatever you're doing,i can totally steal the chance to stare at you and let myself know that your presence at the very moment is real.other times would just be other places at all the random times.sometimes i feel as if you know how i feel about you,but you're testing me whether it's true by being super sweet to me.accompanying me when i'm alone?happen to eat in the same place with me?wait with me as long as you could?what is all these?if your intentions are good,carry on,otherwise,just stop.stop messing with my head.

(by now i have made it clear,if you're reading this,good.. i want you to know,that i'm tired of leaving hints for you,and that I confess,that i like you...if you don't feel the same way about me,i hope this confession doesn't change anything,and doesn't set a boundary between our friendship.)