Well... I figure that if Schmerg can post a Potter-themed parody, I can post my pet project, or to be more precise, my pipe dream... or should I say warp pipe dream?

Ever since I had to write a dinosaur-themed song to an existing song for Science class (I wrote it to the tune of "Madame Guillotine"), I've enjoyed the thought of writing lyrics. Not to intrude on Schmerg's territory, of course. This will probably only be funny/worth anything to those who know what I'm parodying. I just wanted to post it somewhere.

* A striptease number added to Follies for Diana Rigg, replacing “The Story of Lucy and Jessie,” as Rigg was not a dancer.
** The song would be sung by Franziska but danced/acted by the Arbiter, in order to give Franziska more to sing.

Just an outline. Only two songs are written. Brackets indicate the tune. If there is no title before the brackets, a title has not been decided.

THE PLOT: Five plotlines in one show:
-Follows the Mario cast through a typical day/princess-kidnapping and part of Paper Mario 2.
-The Animal Crossing Guy pays off his house.
-The Halo dudes go through the basic game plotline, mainly focusing on the Arbiter, because he's easy to write for.
-Something happens with the Sonic characters. I guess the Master Emerald gets stolen. Ho-hum. I may cut this plotline.
-And finally, we follow Phoenix Wright through cases 1,2, and 4 of the first game (case 3 is filler).

THE CHARACTERS:
-Mario: It's-a him.
-Luigi: perpetual second fiddle and professional butt monkey
-Peach: the rather dim-witted monarch with a high voice
-Bowser: big dumb turtle who wants take over the Mushroom Kingdom
-ACG: poor guy just wants to pay off his debt...
-Tom Nook: the raccoon that runs the only store in town
-Judge: the cowardly and easily-swayed judge. Also known as "The Poker Face of Courtroom #3"
-Phoenix: an aspiring defense attorney
-Mia: Phoenix's mentor, also a defense attorney
-Maya: Mia's sister and a spirit medium
-Edgeworth: a foppish prosecutor and a childhood friend of Phoenix
-von Karma: a veteran prosecutor who has never lost a case. Edgeworth's mentor
-The Arbiter: Elite turncoat, previously a Supreme Commander
-Master Chief: a genetically-enhanced soldier in fancy armor
-Sonic: blue and runs fast
-Knuckles: guards the Master Emerald because it is his SWORN DUTY
-Amy: sonic dosent lov her back nd its so tragic!!!1
-Shadow: angsty science project
-Tails: Sonic’s young two-tailed assistant
-Robotnik: chubby scientist/villain. Also known as Eggman
-Orchestra: the theatre’s pit band, conducted by Toadofsky
-Grunt Chorus: a chorus of Grunts that sing soprano
-Chorus: Toadofsky’s tadpole choir

MINOR CHARACTERS:
-Toad: lil' mushroom guy who couldn't guard his way out of a paper bag
-Rouge: bat with huge tracts of land
-Kamek: Bowser's wizard assistant
-Crazy Redd: sneaky fox who charges exorbitant prices for his "rare" goods and forged paintings
-Redd White: businessman who dresses in pink and says things like "splendiferous". In-game, he gives Phoenix a knuckle sandwich
-Larry Butz: another friend of Phoenix's
-Franziska von Karma: daughter of Manfred von Karma, also a perfect prosecutor
-Marvin Grossberg: an obese defense attorney, and Mia’s mentor
-Winston Payne: a balding, overconfident prosecutor
-The Prophet of Truth: contrary to his title, he tends to lie a lot
-The Prophet of Mercy: quite unmerciful, actually
-The Prophet of Objection: seemingly the only prophet to uphold his name. Phoenix’s favorite prophet

THE SONGS:

WELCOME TO TOWN!

TOM NOOK (to random villager)Look! Immigrants.

ANIMAL CROSSING GUY (to himself, surveying houses for sale)I like the one with the blue roof.

(TOM NOOK suddenly appears, startling him)

NOOKWelcome to town!Are you new here?Where are you staying?

(ACG attempts to speak but is cut off)

NOOK I pass my time Inside that shop(points to Nook’s Cranny, his store and also a wooden shack)It’s not much, I fear…

ACGThat shop looks like garbageThose houses are so tinyI can’t be so whinyEverything’s all new and shiny.

NOOKAnd once you chooseYour humble abodeAfter much surveying,Your debt will be steepAnd you must earn your keep‘Cause housing ain’t cheapA reward will you reap-

ACGOh, reap-

NOOK When you work for a living-

ACGA living-?

NOOKThere's no cause to weep.

ACG (holding up a bag of 1,000 Bells)And when I am done paying off the lease…?

NOOK (snatching up the money)With some elbow grease,Your house will get bigger but debt will increase.

(clearly indicating that 1,000 Bells will not cut it)Now, go and get me some money!Now, go and get me some money!

ACGNow go and get Nook more money…

(ACG leaves)

ON THE SIDE THAT WILL WIN (Warning: mildly explicit)

ARBITERWhen the Prophets said that I could be redeemedAnd I blindly followed themAnd they gave me honor hither to undreamed:Be an Arbiter, and serve their every whim.But then I was shown the truth behind their trick,so now Truth and Co. can suck my non-existent –

MARINE (spoken)Arbiter! You go with Master Chief!

ARBYIn a moment. I want to drink in what it feels like to be on the side that will win.*

MARINEOkey-doaks.

ARBY (sung)To have one’s life end and begin againIn the service of false prophets who abuse their reignLeaves me feeling strange…Is it time for change?Now I’m here on the side that will win.

(addressing MASTER CHIEF’s exit)I have often thought about you beforeBut I never thought I’d stickwith you like glue before; We’ve all been aggrieved,And yet I’m relievedKnowing I'm on the side that will win.

And oh! The strange way the world works; to now have an enemy friend. And that might have unknown perksand our rivalry: amenities transcend.

(realizing that he is receiving odd looks from passerby)Others often stare. They don't bother me.Even though I’m now a traitorI’d rather that beThan to be a pawn.What I’ve undergoneleads me to help the side that will win.

(ARBY walks straight into one of the passerby, the JUDGE, who is returning from EDGEWORTH’s trial)

JUDGE (spoken)Oof! Watch it!

ARBYSorry.

JUDGENext time, pay attention…!

ARBYCould you point me towards the extraction point?

JUDGEWhut?Is that what you kids are calling it nowadays?Why, when I was in a child…Wait a minute…(peering intently at ARBY’s face, he suddenly jumps backwards)You’re…(regaining his composure)Someone in a costume.You’ll never get a girl dressed like that.Why, I used to chase after skirts all the time when I was your age…Ah, the follies of youth!

(The JUDGE scampers off)

ARBY (sung)People stop and stare. They don't bother mefor there's no where else in spacethat I would rather be. And not just the war: now and evermoreI am here on the side that will win.

ON THE SIDE THAT WILL WIN (Reprise)

ARBYI have often thought about you beforeBut I never thought I’d stickwith you like glue before; We’ve all been aggrieved,And yet I’m relievedKnowing I'm on the side that will win.

Is there Master Chief on the other side?Is their any help that those Marines cannot provide?The U.N.S.C.has technologythat will make it the side that will win.

And oh! The strange way the world works; to now have an enemy friend. And that might have unknown perksand our rivalry: amenities transcend.

Others stop and stare-

MASTER CHIEF (spoken)Thel?

ARBYYes?

MASTER CHIEFShut up.

ARBYBut my feelings of ecstasy are too great to remain inside me!

MASTER CHIEFYou’re alerting everyone and their grandmother to our position.

ARBYOh. Sorry.

(the ORCHESTRA fades uncomfortably)

So, what do you think? I'll post songs here to get feedback and change lyrics I'm iffy about (they're enclosed in brackets).
Since I do have some original ideas for the book of the thing, songs will only feature small amounts of dialogue. Songs will most likely not be completed in order, and I think I dug my own grave by deciding to write new lyrics for "A Weekend in the Country".

This entire thing can be deleted if it's off-topic for the fan fiction sub-forum. The guidelines didn't exactly forbid non-Miz works, and I don't write stories very well, no matter what the topic...

Everything is coprighted by their respective owners.

* MRS. PEARCE: Won't you come in?
FREDDY: No thanks, I want to drink in this street where she lives.
MRS. PEARCE: Yes.