A source close to William confirmed the royal is about as interesting as a kick in the dick.

William makes Last of the Summer Wine look like Spring Break on mescalin.

The source said: “Before the game the Prince met both sets of players and instantly put them into a coma.

“The guy’s about as entertaining as an alzheimer’s awareness conference hosted by the surviving cast of Last of the Summer Wine.”

Asked about the speculation surrounding his son George Windsor, the source added: “Yes the baby was born using the dark arts for purposes too terrifying to divulge. I personally don’t have a problem with that….last time I checked there was no law against conceiving a beast who is not of this Earth.”