Saturday, November 22, 2008

Just so everyone knows... I am coming up on my 4th year of doing this blog. My visitors comes and go. It's a roller coaster. But I don't care. My staff and I have made a commitment to blog almost daily...and that promise we will keep. Thanks for reading everyone.. Keep coming back!

Sincerely,

TLAT Writing Staff

Attn: Due to economic turmoil we are laying off all of the TLAT staff except for Aaron effective immediately.

Friday, November 21, 2008

What if 20 people picked a stranger at random and greeted them at the airport with posters, flowers, balloons, and a 10-foot wide banner reading, “Welcome Back.”...Another great original prank from improveverywhere.com

Thursday, November 20, 2008

* Somali pirates are terrorizing ships off the coast of Africa. But instead of having parrots on their shoulders ruling the seven seas looking for ye booty... These pirates are saying phrases like "Rrrrrr matey... Allah be saying for you to give me yer stuff."

* I watch COPS sometimes and wonder where is MY torn wife beater shirt, where is MY old water heater laying in the yard, where is MY crack pipe that I can throw in the bushes when they start chasing me? I want my piece of the American dream!

* Socialism is going to be great under Obama! I mean the government takes over a quarter of my money now.. I can't WAIT to give even more to jobless deadbeats!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Here's some everyday advice for the rest of you. Just things I've picked up along the way...

* If you are in charge of the music that plays over the speakers in a business establishment and you use your Ipod to make a playlist that is appropriate listening...Make sure that you double check the playlist so that you didn't accidentally add an unknown song to the playlist. There is nothing more embarrassing then trying to sell a vacuum to an elderly lady and out of nowhere "Baby Got Back" by Sir-Mix-A-Lot comes blaring over the loud speakers.

* When eating a muffin...Remember that muffins are crumbly and that you need to keep track of where the crumbs land. It's not good when you go to greet your friends, your boss, a customer, or the President Of The United States Of America, and a chunk of blueberry muffin is dangling from your chin.

* Be sure that you know what your skills are. Don't tell people you can play the xylophone if you've only tried it once...someday someone is going to call you on it, and the next thing you know you are 3rd chair xylophonist for the New York Philharmonic and you have no clue what you are doing.

* Parents... Not every kid is going to be a concert pianist. If your child hates piano lessons let the child quit. If you don't they will end up hating the piano AND you....instead of just you.

* If you are out in an abandoned mine shaft or an empty amusement park and you see a gang of teenage mystery solvers and their talking dog looking for clues...leave them alone, that's important work they're doing.

Saturday, November 08, 2008

* Call Richard Simmons and tell him there is a 2 for 1 sale on sparkly short shorts at Target. Then hide in a clothes rack and laugh at how disappointed he gets when he finds out they are still regular price.

* Go to the symphony wearing a sombrero and sit on the front row. Shout "Ole'" after each movement.