Monday, October 26, 2009

If you have no idea what to be for Halloween and you want a quick fix, here are ten ridiculously easy sports costumes relevant to 09 that you can get done in minutes.

10. Richard Gasquet - Walk around in white shorts, a white polo, a tennis racket, and powder powder rubbed all on your face and your tongue and tell people you ingest coke stictly by making out with females.

9. Mark McGwire Hitting Coach - Get yourself some baseball pants, a Cardinals jacket, and walk around with syringes, pills and cremes letting people know that you have the quick fix to curing the Cardinals home run issues.

8. Manny in the Shower - Get a dreadlocked wig, and a white towel and walk around asking people how well Broxton pitched in the 9th.

7. Kenny Powers / Mitch Williams - A Mullett wig, a pair of old beat up jeans, and a jersey of some minor league team that no one cares about. Than just make sure you say fuck at least once every sentence. The Powers is pulled off much better if you are fat.

6. LaDanian Tomlinson with a Cane - Fill in your old and now useless running back here, be it LDT, Larry Johnson or Jamal Lewis. Just walk around with their jersey on a pair of old man slacks and a cane and bitch about how Roger Goodell and the NFL don't pay for your health insurance.

5. Randy Hanson- Get yourself a black eye and a Raiders hooded sweatshirt and you're Randy Hanson after getting punched in the face by Tom Cable.

4. Tebus Christ - Take whatever Florida gear you have, preferably a Tebow #15 jersey and create some kind of halo to put over your head. Than talk about how you circumcise kids in the Philippines and are the Sports Jesus.

3. The Favre Two Face - This is for Packers fans out there. Just take you're old Favre jersey that you have but refuse to wear and paint one side purple. Than just paint one side of your head evil like Two Face in Batman.

2. Plaxico Burress - A pair of bloodied jeans, a glock, and a hoody is all you need to be Plaxico. That and walking around with a limp.

1. Steve Phillips & Brooke Hundley - Get the salt and pepper hair going with a grey suit and then get one of your mildly plump fat male friends to dawn a wig and plain grey t-shirt.