Stacking Stones​A Creative Craft Blog

From the mind of Jason Kapcala comes an eclectic journal dedicated to the study of creative writing, rock music, tailgating, and other miscellany. The musings, meditations, contemplations, and ruminations expressed here are my own unless otherwise indicated. Please feel free to share your comments, thoughts, and opinions, but do so respectfully and intelligently.

It's wildcard weekend, which means that things are really going to start getting interesting now. With four great match ups on the schedule, we start moving closer and closer to our #1 national holiday: The Super Bowl!

Next week, Mina will be back. Until then, it's on me to come up with one more killer tailgating menu. Rather than embrace the theme of "wildcard," I've decided to go with a classic that is my Ace in the Hole . . . .

"Hot Diggity Dogs"

“What are you having on your dog?” Mulqueen asked. “Just ketchup,” Rieux said, leaning over to get a better look at the griddle. “We don’t have ketchup,” Mulqueen said. “It’s not that kind of dog shop.” “What kind of dog shop doesn’t have ketchup?” Rieux said. Mulqueen crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Little kids put ketchup on their hot dogs,” he said. “You’re an adult. Pick a grown up condiment.” “I’ll take mustard then, I guess,” Rieux said, rolling her eyes. “Yellow or spicy?” Mulqueen asked. “Look, surprise me,” Rieux said.

CHILI DOGS WITH CREAMY COLESLAW

Hot dogs are a big deal to me--so much so that they play an integral role in the plot of my novel Hungry Town. To research that book, I spent a lot of time traveling to hot dog stands in West Virginia, Ohio, and Pennsylvania, watching the cooks work, chatting them up, and above all else, eating my fill. So, as you can imagine, I have serious thoughts about what makes for good hot dog etiquette. (It's a good thing Mina isn't here this week--she's a ketchup user, just like Rieux in the passage above. *Shudder.*)

In West Virginia, we do something rather unique. We top our hot dogs with creamy cole slaw. It's a stroke of brilliance, and paired with my authentic hot dog chili recipe (I'm letting you all in on a big secret with this one!), this dog can't be beat!

-Kap

A package of your favorite hot dogs (I prefer Nathan's brand in natural casing. The natural casing, when grilled, gives the dogs a distinctive "snap" that is crucial)

A package of hot dog buns (Normally, I use New England split-top coney buns. Why? Because the cut of the bun prevents condiments from breaking through the bottom. I told you--this is a science!)

Spicy Brown Mustard

1 White Onion, finely chopped

Hot Dog Chili (don't settle for the stuff from a can; use the recipe below)

Creamy Coleslaw (I pick mine up from the deli section of the local supermarket. If your grocer doesn't carry a good coleslaw, you can make your own or use the slaw from Kentucky Fried Chicken--it's hard to beat)

Note: If you like other toppings on your hot dog, such as relish or kraut, that's a-okay. This recipe mimics the classic dogs from the stands I've visited, but everyone has their favorite version--it's what makes hot dogs so much fun. There is one point I am going to be a stickler about, however. You should grille or griddle your hot dogs--getting them nice and crispy on the outside. Unless you live in Antarctica or someplace there's really no reason to be boiling your wieners!

Hot Dog Chili

1 lb. Ground Beef (the key to this chili is to continually break up the meat as finely as possible while browning it)

1/3 c. Beef Broth

5 oz. Tomato Sauce

1/2 c. Ketchup

1 1/2 TBSP Chili Powder

1/2 tsp. Cumin

1/2 tsp. Paprika

1/8 tsp. Dehydrated Garlic (garlic powder works as sub.)

1 tsp. Dehydrated Onion

1 tsp. Brown Sugar

1/4 tsp. Salt

Dash of Worcestershire sauce

Dash of Tabasco sauce, to taste

If too soupy: Thicken with corn starch or flour, if necessary

If too thick: Thin with water

Real hot dog chili is fine and beanless. You are aiming for a consistency that is thin-but-not-too-thin. (Think: that third bear in the Goldilocks tale--the one who wants it juuuust right--and you'll know what I mean.)

Brown the beef (mash up with potato masher to break apart, if necessary). Drain (it’s okay if you leave a little grease).

Mix the rest of the ingredients together and heat through. Reduce to simmer and cook until thick (at least 15 to 20 min.)

Add starch to thicken, if necessary, or water to thin. (You probably won't need to do anything to it). Add salt or additional hot sauce if desired.

Anatomy

Order is important when assembling a hot dog (don't let anyone tell you otherwise). Obviously, you start with the bun, but do you know what comes next? Here's a quick run down:

Bun

Mustard (don't ever put the mustard on top unless its your only condiment)

Chopped Onion

Dog

Chili and/or other toppings

Why is it done this way? Partly, it's tradition, but you also want to think about the integrity of the dog. Liquid in the bottom will soak the bun, and chunky things (like onions) will tear it. Loose toppings (again, like onions) will fall off when you bite the hot dog if you place them on top. Again: science. (And, if done well, quite possibly art.)

First things first, I have to go on record with my real drink recommendation. It's not going to be popular. There will be skeptics. But I will stand by it to my dying day.

Chocolate milk.

You think I'm kidding? I never kid about hot dogs.

Think about it for a second. What goes best with salty flavors (like our salty hot dog)? Sweet flavors, of course. And what is a common ingredient in many chilies (including hot dog chilis)? You guessed it: chocolate. Finally, the creaminess of the milk coats the insides of your stomach, creating a protective layer, which is kind of important if you are going to eat as many chili dogs as I have.

Trust me, this is worth trying. My father and brother agree, and they're old school hot doggers, just like me.

That said, if you can't make chocolate milk without consulting my blog, this may be a lost cause. No need for that recipe or recommendation.

So I asked my brother for his recommendation, and he brought me this special edition Trader Joe's ale on his visit from New Jersey. Good choice: after all, beer also goes well with hot dogs. Ask any ballpark vendor. This vintage is a spicy, yeasty ale--very drinkable. It's also creamy, with hints of chocolate, which makes it a good substitute for the chocolate milk I swear by.

- Kap

THIS WEEK'S PREDICTION

The Eagles' season officially ended last week, which means that my predictions are officially over until the Super Bowl. Still, just for fun, I'll take a shot at the wildcard match ups this week.

AFC Wildcard Game 1: Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Baltimore Ravens -- Is there a more bitter rivalry than these two teams? This will be the third time they meet this year with each team carrying a win. Give the edge to the boys in Black and Gold. Winner: Steelers

AFC Wildcard Game 2: Indianapolis Colts vs. Cincinnati Bengals --I don't expect this one to be much of a contest. Cincy was one and done last year. I expect the same from them against Andrew Luck and co. this year. Winner: Colts

NFC Wildcard Game 1: Dallas Cowboys vs. Detroit Lions --This may be the toughest game of the week to predict. I go back and forth, and though it pains me to say this, Dallas is playing great football right now. I see them winning a close one. Winner: Cowboys

NFC Wildcard Game 2: Carolina Panthers vs. Arizona Cardinals --Correction, this is the toughest pick. I've been harping on it all season, but the NFC South has been bad this season. Carolina played their way in as a mediocre team . By contrast, the Cardinals started the season out remarkably stout--really the surprise team of the year--until they lost Drew Stanton at QB. However, with Stanton still likely to be out and Ryan Lindley at QB, the Cards are now significant underdogs to the Panthers. Also, Cam Newton is playing pretty good football right now, so I most see him leading his team to the next round. I'm not so sure. Cardinals coach Bruce Arians likes the underdog role, and he gets his team ready to play under these kinds of circumstances. I think they find a way to win at least one more game this season. It's not my safest pick, but sometimes you need to choose an underdog. Winner: Cardinals

EAGLES' FINAL RECORD: 10-6

MY FINAL RECORD: 11-5 (that's two years running, baby!)

Vacationin' ain't easy

All recipes listed above come from our own imaginations unless otherwise indicated. If you try one of these recipes in your own kitchen, leave a comment below and tell us how it goes. And, of course, share your modifications, enhancements, improvements, etc.