Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Six years old and life is a battlefield

Kieran has been going through a rough stage lately. This already dramatic child is prone to tears and emotional self-flagellation. According to Your Six-Year-Old: Loving and Defiant, by Louise Bates Ames, Ph.D., this is completely normal. But that doesn't make it any easier to experience.

On Friday, Kieran told me that he doesn't fit in because he's unique...and that he wants to fit in (although he doesn't want to change his interests). When I tell him that his teachers have reported that the other kids like him, it doesn't seem to matter. He claims that no one understands him. When he first began saying this a few months ago, I thought he meant literally--but what he actually means is that no one "gets" him.

In the past couple of days he has claimed that he is "fat," and also that he doesn't like the mole on his stomach because it makes him "stand out" (as if people were often examining his stomach). My comment that it's cute just gets an "oh Mom!"

After being desperate to take a fencing class (he took an intro class over winter break), and we shelled out $100 for said class, halfway through he pronounced it boring and couldn't wait until it was over.

After the bicycle ride trauma of a few weeks ago, now he has announced that he doesn't want to ride his bicycle any more.

He complains about his swimming lessons (although once he gets there he enjoys them), going to church and Sunday School, riding the bus to school, and school itself--but only because he continues to experience issues with two of the girls in his class.

These girls apparently want to "date" him (yes, can you believe it??) and are frequently teasing him--I'm guessing because they like him. One in particular has been very insistent about Kieran becoming her "boyfriend," if he is to be believed. (Actually, we have proof--she has written him a few notes.) I can't believe how young it all starts. It is really weighing on his mind.

Yesterday he said that he's unhappy at school because of these two girls, and he's unhappy at home because of Nicholas. Nicholas makes his life a misery, yada, yada, yada. He and Nicholas have been very competitive for my attention recently. (This is when he's not having fun with Nicholas!)

He came home sick from school today and was sitting at the dinner table this evening looking sulky (but not eating) until Chris put on the soundtrack from "Grease." Kieran could not help himself--pretty soon I saw him dancing (slightly) in his chair. That seemed to perk him up some.

In fact, music, drama, and listening to stories seem to be the key things that make him happy now. The other interesting thing about all this trauma is that he seems to express it to me more than Mike. I'm not sure what that is all about.

I for one am sure looking forward to seven!! I hope my happy-go-lucky boy returns to me. I hate to see him so unhappy and lacking self-esteem.