Writing for the Reader

Outta Space

To start, the Elements suggest making each paragraph address a topic, and the main idea or thesis of the paragraph be the topic sentence.

As an English teacher, I certainly adhere; but, as a blogger and frequent web reader, I have to counsel you otherwise. You may notice in this post (and if you keep up with Content Muse) I’ve been liberal with white space.

For many reasons, I like Copyblogger’s style, but I must thank Brian Clark and the team at BlueGlass for giving me the inspiration to break prose apart, even if I’m writing one line at a time.

It makes for a better read. It lessens the anxiety of reading. It’s why we like pictures, nifty infographics, and memes. It breaks the monotony of text.

It relaxes the readers.

It lets them know things will be okay. Reading isn’t so bad.

We promise.

I’ve observed a number of you not using a lot of white space. You’re losing reader interest, possibly before they even begin.

Stop doing that. Go back to some of your posts, and see how much white space you’re providing.

Command Your Written Word

Use Your Confident Big Girl/Boy Voice

Let’s address using an active voice. Be assertive. Be direct with the reader. Write with authority. Let them know you’re in control of your thoughts and words.

Otherwise, it will seem as if you are unsure. If you are being unsure of your words than your words lose authority.

Be confident. You own your words. It’s not the other way around. Don’t feel trapped and feeble in your writing cell.

Get outta there!

It may take a few reviews to catch yourself. Admittedly, I’ve struggled in my younger years with the passive voice, and still observe myself regressing at times. It’s why self and peer review is important.

When describing something, state what it is rather than what it’s not. See above: “Use the word, not, …never as a means of evasion.” Here, evasion means escaping the description of what you’re actually trying to communicate.

“Positive” in this regard, like the active voice above, means being in better control, commanding words rather than letting them weaken conveyed thoughts.

Maintain thought’s strength and thunder when writing. Achieve goals of written communication.

Does it change the meaning of the sentence? No. Will it make the reader bounce from the page. It’s not unlikely. However, does repetitive abuse weaken writing? It does. It’s noticeable, especially when reading a strong writer against a weaker one’s words.

Many of us write in didactic fashion, instructing others. Writing well helps learners. Writing well makes for better instruction.

It’s likely you’ve read and revered them for their thoughts, but isolate their command of written communication.

Write Concisely, Choosing Words Well

You Had Me at Hello

Next, let’s discuss needless words.

“Anthony, I like your thoughts, but your papers are often prolix.”

Admittedly, I marched up to my professor’s office, asking him the meaning of “prolix.” Being transparent, I didn’t know the meaning of the word, but was being a smartass in asking. To my secretive delight, my English professor, who I’ll assume was also a bit of a smartass, busted out the dictionary, looking it up in front of me.

Well played, sir… Well played…

Prolix means using too many words, using needless words as Elements puts it.

I also (obviously) had a problem with such as a younger man. I still do. But, I work toward constant improvement. We all can.

Let’s snoop on my words being all wordy and not succinct prolix:

Let’s take my first paragraph, where rather than being succinct, I like to pet my creativity in attempts to impress some reader who likely does not exist.

I’m a fan of my writing, but I can improve that opening paragraph. Rather than tight walk highfalutin language and tumble acrobatic use of prose for ya, I could come direct.

Sure, I want you to laugh. I want you to think I’m witty. I want to walk in the bar tonight, flashing my blog around, getting all the fine ladies in the house due to my presence on the interwebz.

However, and thanks to peers who have mentioned revising my writing before, my writing is about teaching and communicating to you, and not satisfying my writer ego. Moreover, succinct words make more of an impact.

Aside from the jesting and stuntman wordplay above, all I really said was this:

“I read an article in the New York Times on gamification, the process of enticing consumers with a number of online entities such as games.”

Seriously, that’s what I get out of the first paragraph as far as useful information.

Sure, I may have made a person or two laugh, but there’s a time and place. Needless language weakens thoughts conveyed through writing.

Don’t be weak. Command attention and respect with your words.

Take a look at how easy it is to make your words and meanings tighter:

– Though we were traditionally taught to write in paragraphs with topic sentences, break this tradition on the web. It makes for better reading. Use a lot of white space.

– Use an active voice. You don’t want to be the kind of person who uses passive all the time. It weakens your writing and conveyed thought.

– Watch your phrasing. Be direct and not indirect (see what I did..) with description. If you’re phrasing something as not something else, you are not being as clear and succinct as you can be.

– Which leads to the last point. Put your words on a diet. Shed text weight wherever possible, while maintaining meaning. Less words does not mean a weaker prose. In most cases, the strongest writers are the most succinct.

Readers, if you received two cents from the post, please spread awareness about this charity effort. Every centiment makes a difference 🙂

you know that is doth appreciated much. (rings bell behind bar.) “read more as it will help your writing..” absolutely. I understand not everyone is a reader, but more reading makes for a better writer. you’r directly and indirectly learning how words are put together for several purposes. it is truly a unique form of communication, just like speaking, theater, sometimes I communicate strictly through dance after a few scotches and 1 am, but I digress..

I remember reading an excerpt from Ben Jonson, pretty much saying what you convey above. He said his writing would be nothing without his contemporaries. I thought that was a keen and cool sentiment.

You don’t half make a man think, Mr Pensabene. As marketers, most of what we do is try, evaluate, improve. Yet I bet I’m not the only one that hasn’t sat and evaluated my own writing as you do here. And I don’t doubt that there will be many opportunities to improve.

What say you on writing in the way that you speak? I know that conversational English is different to written, but I often find myself re-reading my stuff as if I was saying it. It results, one may observe, in a drastic over-reliance on commas, which can, shall we say, annoy.

sometimes, I’m not on side, but on the fence about that first sentence. yes, we’re always reaching toward improvement. there is no true optimization. if there was, we would all have to create other ways to beguile our days. there will be plenty of opportunities for further improvement.

sure. that’s interesting, and as you mentioned the bard, the pace at which one reads, or in acting one speaks, definitely is associated with structure and words chosen.

one has to approach the piece as a writer, and then change hats, engaging as a reader. why two heads are better than one in these cases. it could be hard to get out of your immediate mindset as a writer to become a keen editor/reader imo.

haha.. well if you’re a witty blond with big..brains, you could marry me, “thinking well” by name. pensa=to think bene=good/well

thanks for your read and participation, David. I can’t say i think well other than via “Pensabene,” but i do celebrate Chris’ comment on reading a lot. also, i enjoy people’s company much, which allows time for thinking and discussion. i was a bit shy as a younger man, and i think i missed opportunities to think better via the thoughts of others. just like Chris suggested reading more, i think engaging people more, also improves thinking and writing. 🙂

Thinking well means many things – thinking creatively, thinking critically and so on. For writing, I think critical thinking must be fostered; creativity seems to be more innate (though I’ve no doubt there are many ways to hone your creativity as well).

I think more people fail on the critical elements of writing (what belongs? what should be said? what should be avoided? what is tactful? what is excessive?) than the creative ones.

I think also, though, that the ability to step aside and put yourself in the shoes of a potential listener/reader lends itself to thinking well. How will what you are about to say or write be taken? “Empathy”, in this sense, is powerful. Knowing how things will be interpreted before you speak/write them is a little like being able to take the reigns of the discussion before the discussion has even begun.

awesome point about writing, Joel re “empathy” – I remember soooooo many people enjoyed the post you did about stealing clients. You really struck at the hearts of your target audience. aside from it being well written, you knew how to exact an approach..

I hereby delcare as a representative of the Saloon clientele of one, that serif adornment is gladly bestowed upon the quill holders of the aforementioned establishment. Such fine recommended specimens include Buenard or Vidaloka.

To add something to the conversation: People forget that how they write is how they are perceived. A bad writer will be seen as unintelligent, incapable, lacking focus, lacking attention to detail. Spelling errors in things like client reports don’t just make the client think you’re a bad speller. They wonder if your inability to command the English language points to greater issues: inability to manage their work.

For me, I’ve found in life that an ability to write can usurp other things and open doors. My ability to write got my erroneous bank problems fixed 30 days faster. My ability to write landed me job opportunities I never would have otherwise qualified for. My ability to write has garnered me an audience that would never have given me a second though (because let’s face it, I’m not a genius SEO and I’m the very furthest thing from a thought leader in the space).

I made people laugh.
I communicated what thoughts I did well.

That is not self-congratulatory horn-tooting, that is my encouragement to others: LEARN TO WRITE. It will send you down paths you never expected or dreamed.

You are such an awesome example, dude. You love writing. Readers can tell. Readers enjoy the journey. They see you wrote something and look forward to reading it. That’s awesome, and I believe can’t be done by everyone, but the communicative endeavor could be optimized through respect of individual mediums at hand.

I remember first struggling to communicate (verbally) as a teacher. On paper, I have more time to reflect and command my words. It doesn’t come as easy for others, but speaking does for some. I’m usually fighting off thoughts or trying to keep up with them. Writing allows me to catch up with them. Communicating my thoughts via speech is much harder for me.

My purpose here was to call attention to the fact that to date, writing is the most leveraged means of online communication, and you’re right, whether it fair or not, people are impressed (non-horn-tooting sense of word) by one’s writing. We peddle search engine optimization.. well how about search engine communication optimization.. word, as you suggest, learn to write.

Speech is a powerful one too; the ability to speak and the charisma you can draw from while doing so has made leaders out of people who never should have been leaders by any other merit (I’ll leave that one to you to dissect).

Why I love writing is that I control the conversation. I can succinctly communicate everything I want to, exactly how I want to. It’s me, asking that supermodel out without stuttering on my words.

Joel, I couldn’t agree with you more (wait, agreement in the Saloon?!) – I too have found an ability to write as a crucial tool in the workplace.

Before I did any SEO I worked as the purchasing manager (for self-same company) and frequently had to negotiate better deals with suppliers or argue for discounts when jobs went wrong. Almost always I would take to email to construct my arguments, and very rarely did I fail in getting what I wanted. This is the part I love the most – weaving together strands of thought into a cohesive whole is a hugely satisfying experience.

I recently spent a week doing a writers workshop and met an awesome author who fought tooth and nail for his publisher (yeah books!) to give him white space. His name is John Aberdein – http://www.birlinn.co.uk/author/details/John-Aberdein-537/ and I’d thoroughly recommend you read his books. He’s doing exactly what you suggest offline.

This. Is great. Many good insights and truly some valuable ideas to take into consideration – I for one, know that I need to get better at both phrasing and ‘trimming the fat’ from my sentences and paragraphs. It is something absolutely necessary to continuous improvement.

Interesting, but I found the comments much easier to read as they were written in PARAGRAPHS. Short Hemingwayesque sentences I think work sometimes, but there’s nothing wrong with a few commas and a bit of flow.

earnestly, you’d rather have hemingway sentences in paragraph form? bullocks! 🙂 i see what you mean, Lauren. my suggestion is not to be the rebellious kid in the back of the classroom of tradition, rather to get people to consider their medium platform.

I like things spaced

online

however,

if the printed news or books were formed as such, such as in children’s books. it would be too thick in practicality, and would not be as attractive to the reader imo..

P.S Paragraphs act to group thoughts together, allowing for easily identifiable divisions of themes or topics. Having a break between each sentence means your thoughts just seem to float independent of one another, with no flow or easily identifiable relation.

In some ways I agree with Lauren. I like forms and structures (not just in writing – in life as well), and familiar writing structures like paragraphs make me feel safe and cosy when reading. However sometimes it is good to NOT feel comfortable as it pushes your thoughts into new places.

I do like the way you write Anthony, but if I wrote in short Hemingwayesque I fear I would look like…well, a dick. It works really well for you because you are different and helps define your style – and you sing a good song. I like to come and see you and listen for a while.

I have become aware during the process of surveying and considering this fine piece of contemporary writing that I do not, and by that I mean that I choose not to, disagree with the conclusions you have come to by way of your own, separate, process. I offer you my warmest, most sincere congratulations on the noteworthy accomplishment of having produced this instructive account of your experiences.

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