Monday, May 23, 2011

Integrity vs. Adversity: Accentuating the Positive

This past weekend, my faith in cycling was shaken.

This didn't have anything to do with "60 Minutes," although that show did cause me to lose faith in the airline industry recently. (Like Andy Rooney, I too am "puzzled by airline fees," though as a contemporary of the Wright Brothers I suspect Rooney is also still somewhat puzzled by the miracle of flight.) It didn't have anything to do with the so-called "Rapture," either, and that it did not arrive to snatch the righteous Freds right out of their anti-impotence cutout saddles. No, it was because I partook in one of those Rapha "Gentlemen's Races," and it looked like this:

Rapha like to talk about "glory through suffering," but there's really nothing glorious about voluntary, self-imposed recreational suffering. Sure, it can be fun if you're into that sort of thing, but glory is something else altogether. Really, when it comes to these sorts of "epic" cycling undertakings I think the truth lies somewhere between "fun through extreme discomfort" and "nailing yourself to the cross of marketing." I figure I almost lost faith halfway up one of those pointy things in the course profile, but I couldn't tell you which one since they've all blended together in a gravelly dirt clump.

In any case, I may share further insights and judgment once Rapha have "curated" their Raphafication of the event in characteristically insouciant pictures and video, but in the meantime I will say two things:

1) I was extremely fortunate to have on my team five riders who were not only great company but also far better cyclists than me;

and

2) Doing a long, hard ride made me contemplate stuff, as long hard rides are wont to do.

One of the things I found myself contemplating was doping. Generally speaking I'm fairly apathetic on the subject, but this whole "60 Minutes" mishigas was all over the place over the weekend, and on top of that I was in the midst of "curating" a Giro d'Italia blog for Bicycling.com as well as riding a racing-style bicycle over a long distance in an informally competitive fashion. This made it sort of impossible to ignore, and as I ground my way up yet another in an incessant series of unpaved climbs, I asked myself the following question:

"If someone offered you an illicit substance that would make this more manageable, would you take it?"

The hard part wasn't deciding if my answer was "yes" or "no." Rather, it was deciding what form and means of ingestion could possibly prevent me from doing so. In other words, it was less a moral issue than it was the practical difference between taking, say, a tiny pill or a football-sized suppository.

Of course, with the ride now finished the concept of taking drugs to complete it seems beyond absurd, especially given that it was something I was ostensibly doing for fun. And of course when I ask myself the same question now the answer is an emphatic "No." Nevertheless, that doesn't mean the thoughts I had during the ride were any less real. And again, I was just doing this for fun. What if I was doing it because my livelihood depended on the results, and I had to do it all over again the next day (and the next, and the next, and so forth), and I had a demanding sponsor like InternationalToys.com?

Now, InternationalToys.com is not a pro cycling sponsor (as far as I know), nor am I implying they would ever do anything untoward. I'm just picking them at random because I see their commercial (in English) regularly on my local cable channel, and because I have a juvenile sense of humor I always think these toys look like certain lady parts with legs:

In any case, when careers are on the line the whole thing gets a bit more ambiguous. It's easy to say no when nothing's at stake, but when you're being paid by a sponsor who depends on you to help them sell their Mexican walking vaginae, and you yourself need to get paid so you can buy your own children Mexican walking vaginae, and you're competing against a bunch of other people racing for other sponsors who sell other genetalia-based children's toys and who aren't as troubled by moral issues as you are, then you've got a big decision to make

So, maybe you sit on the football-sized suppository, and things go pretty well for awhile, but then people start asking questions, and before you know it you're on "60 Minutes," and everybody's passing judgment on you, and Andy Rooney's talking about how he's totally "puzzled" by this whole Mexican walking vaginae fad and how when he was a kid in the 1890s they just used to play with crudely-hewn toys made out of splintery wood and that was good enough for them.

It's a sordid business, and while it's tempting to think the gap between integrity and ignominy is wide enough to punt a football-sized suppository though, sometimes it's barely the width of a single Mexican walking vagina hair.

None of this should be surprising though, for as a culture we tend to turn to drugs for everything, when in fact the very impulse to turn to drugs is usually a sign that you should just stop what you're doing instead. Even the most benign drug use bears this out. For example, instead of smoking a bunch of costly "Wednesday Weed" in order to make the Grateful Dead sound good, you can simply save yourself the trouble and stop listening to the Grateful Dead. And if a climb is too hard, instead of cheating your way up it you should probably just stop riding and break out your ukulele, as forwarded to me by a reader:

If I had had any sense this past weekend I would have stopped pedaling at around mile 20, broken out the uke, and launched into a spirited rendition of "Accentuate the Positive."

These advertisements were created and produced by Mikael Correa, a Brazilian adman.

He is also an urban bicyclist and designed the campaign with the purpose of making a comparison, through images, between motorized and human transportation, and the consequences of our choices not only for the environment but for our own life.

In other words, "Cars bad, bikes good." Continuing along that theme, I've produced my own series of smug juxtapositions that send the same message:

"In any case, when careers are on the line the whole thing gets a bit more ambiguous. It's easy to say no when nothing's at stake, but when you're being paid by a sponsor who depends on you to help them sell their . . ., and you yourself need to get paid so you can buy your own children . . . , and you're competing against a bunch of other people racing for other sponsors who sell . . . and who aren't as troubled by moral issues as you are, then you've got a big decision to make."

So true. Did allegedly drug-free pro cycling have any significance apart from owning a lot of toys?

Snobbie, take a break from sympathizing for the doping cyclist and spare some sympathy for the people who had the guts to speak out and have been smeared by Armstrong Inc. -- Lemond, the Andreus, Simeoni, Bassons, Landis, Hamilton, etc.

The story here is not how easy it is to take the white lunch bag; the story is that the guy who's exerted an almost dictatorial power over cycling is going down. Hard.

So the doomsayers weren't too far wrong then, the "Raphature" did occur. The righteous ascended, then descended, then ascended, then descended again and so on, leaving Snob behind to suffer. Well, I suppose it beats being damned for eternity for NSFW content.

And by that i mean, a same-day follow-up post from BSNYC to narrate the commissioned scene that will accompany the masterful 'bert on Etna'. Please consider the following starter kit for 'the EPOcalypse':

In poker, players display something called "tells," little signs that betray their "poker face." Tyler continuously squirmed, diverted his eyes, and looked away altogether instead of looking into the camera and saying what he knew.

WADA labs report three potential outcomes: positive, suspicious and negative. Neither a negative nor a suspicious test can be used to discipline an athlete. 60 Minutes allegation of a failed doping control from the Tour de Suisse is demonstrably untrue, and thus displays their appalling lack of objectivity in reporting this story. No wonder Lance and his people would not talk with them.

Did Lance dope? Probably, and I don't care. He is still a hero to me. This stuff happened in 1999 and 2000, TWELVE YEARS AGO!!! Surely, any applicable statute of limitations must have run YEARS AGO. Why are we spending millions of dollars on this investigation? Where are the grown-ups supervising Novitsky?

So far as I am concerned, Lance's cancer awareness and fundraising activities have erased any doping offences in the great cosmic scale of balance. Let's move on!!!

Yes, those are textbook tells. BUT they can also be signs of shame and embarassment. It sounded very much to me like Hamilton kept trying to defend Armstrong and focus on just how widespread doping is/was in the peloton. I didn't see dishonesty.

I was trying to think of something clever to say about bikes and ukuleles, but that honestly seems like fun (although I prefer the mandolin, because it has steel strings, and steel is real, although you can also get mandolins in crabon: http://new-mad.com/ )

Hey, one of my original songs is in that ukulele/cycling songbook! For real. It would have been nice if the fellow told me. Also, it has nothing to do about cycling, rather it's about hand jobs, but not really.

I think one part of the story needs to be out there more than it is. The use of EPO was so widespread before they could test for it that anyone not using it was left behind (and unemployed).

So, why try to ruin Lance? What a waste of time.

Do you think the NFL, NBA or MLB are drug free? Really? Those sports aren't really trying to catch anyone, but cycling is. The reputation of cycling suffers when they should look cleaner that other sport b/c they are.

If you take away Lance's wins you'd just give them to someone else on the dope. You can't clean up the past, why try.

-Whenever the blog links to the Merriam-Webster pronunciation of "vaginae", you take 1 sip (roughly 1 finger on your container).-Whenever Snob mentions Cipollini you take 2 sips, 3 sips if he also mentions his greasy hair, and 4 if his sexual prowess [Cipolinni's, not Snob's] is mentioned.-Any mention of Spencer the Ironic Intern, Vito the Helper Monkey, or the Time-Traveling T-Shirt-Wearing Retro-Fred From The Planet Tridork nets you a whopping 5 sips from the container.

In true time trial fashion, you're not competing against others, only competing against the clock, and your liver.

A syringe loaded with B complex vitamins might come in handy.Suggestion: if you're Cat 3 or better you can pour it in the transfusion bag for greater convenience.

Anon 1:13, there is much more to be said about Lance: the purported penchant for strip clubs, the way he dumped Sheryl Crow at the time of her diagnosis; the 5 kids with two women; the abrasive personality so common to great champions; the less-than-stellar ranking of the Livestrong foundation from Charity Navigator, etc., etc.

I am willing to overlook it all because he has given hope, inspiration and motivation to those overwhelmed by their circumstances and lacking in them. Unless you have been personally involved in the cancer community, it is hard to convey what an important resource he has created, and what an incredible inspiration his personal journey has been to millions.

Walt Disney was an alcoholic and an antisemite. I do not advocate boycotting Disneyland because of it.

Even if Lance doped, why tear it all down? Why can't we just let it be?

Waiting on George's testimony. Re Hamilton: Some of what he said was compelling. But the white lunch bag? Really? Sorry but that is just ridiculous. Sounds like something a publicist came up with so all the mediahounds could easily reference it.

Question: If you were running a sophisticated professional cycling team doping system would you be handing out white lunch bags? In front of people not getting the same support? If you answered yes, kill yourself.

I kind of agree with a lot of what you say. However, as more and more testimony and evidence piles up, it's going to become more obvious to the general public that he's at best a liar, and at worst, a sociopathic dick. As for me, I think the reality is somewhere between those two.

At a certain point it would probably behoove him to come clean in a humble and apologetic way. This would probably raise his standing with said general public. Sadly, I don't think he's the type to give up that easily.

Furthermore, if Tyler, George, Floyd, et. al. know where a few of 'the bodies are buried', imagine how much Lance knows, especially in reference to drug labs and the UCI. What he knows could help clean up the sport more than almost anything else. That, along with the hope that he has given the cancer community, could give him some measure of redemption.

Of course it would probably play better if it was a joint 'mea culpa' with Johan at his side maybe taking a bit more of his certainly huge share of the blame. Which brings up team Radio Shack - when Novitsky makes his charges, will they be allowed to line up at the TdF if The Hog is included? No matter what he says, this mess is why Taylor Phinney made the jump to BMC.

Okay, so I confess to being distracted by the 'white lunch bag' comment.

Way back in the day, during "the Lance Years" in particular, televised coverage of the Tour de France, occassionally included shots from the epic Feed Zone, during the stages. At that time, all the 'musettes' were white.

Interesting? sure..

Also notable from the Tyler interview, 60 minutes missed reporting on Tyler's 'chimera' defense. Tyler Hamilton does not really qualify as the 'gotcha' interview. Now, when they get the testimony from Big George, however...

That's what I think also. Tyler's and Floyd's accounts of events are almost the same. The difference I see is that Floyd seemed a lot angrier; at Lance, the anti-doping organizations and the UCI. Tyler spent the whole time trying to take the spotlight off of Lance and to explain that this is just how things were (are?) done. From the top all the way down.

S&S,

I also found it interesting that there was almost no mention at all of Landis's bombshell last year. I guess they felt that association would undercut Hamilton?

i think they should allow doping and PEDs in all sports and legalize the drugs themselves. You could have events and athletes sponsored by an PED drug maker even stadiums and bowl games named after them. it would be a real boost to the economics of sport and it would level the playing field. The lure of improving your performance has proven to irresistable to some of the biggest names in sports and there is no reason it won't continue to be considering the upside. It would also result in so much money being put into pharma R&D that some great life improving drugs would come out of it. You could have drug free sports leagues for all of the holy than thou cry babies, but of course they would go bust in short order given the considerbly lower qualitity of competition and athleticism. I know what you're thinking, what kind of example would that set for the kids? Winning is an excellent example.

hey if lance was indeed taking drugs, along with everyone else, he still won the tdf 7 times whereas the other admitted drug takers did nothing close to that. so still shows he is a badass dude, as far as riding bikes fast is concerned. and he tapped one of the olson twins for godsakes, epic.

You guys are fooling yourselves if you think that BSNY isn't involved with LanceCo to some degree. He's Lance's best blogging bro in NYC (do you still meet Lance for lunch?), and is suspiciously critical of Greg Lemond while he lobs softballs at Lance.This entry today was basically a "you'd dope too if you had the chance" diatribe.

It is looking more likely that Lance used performance enhancing drugs. The truth is, whether he did or not is really of little consequence to the average person like me. I do wish that no athlete would use drugs, but the real problem is like Bike Snob pointed out, Money.

Cycling is a sport that is unlike many others, anyone (including myself as a disabled person) can be an active participant. Most people can ride in many different ways and compete if they want to. Those of us who can't ride, can help out kids and friends so they can ride. Participating in the sport yourself is the true value of cycling.

Why is doping such a part of cycling or any other professional sport? Money. Why do we even need professional sports? If we did not have professional cycling we still can enjoy the sport of cycling. Just going to a local BMX track and watching the kids race, or any other local bike race is more enjoyable to me.

The same goes with other professional sports. Little league games are the best baseball games, and a great high school football game can be better than the Superbowl (and a heck of a lot cheaper too.) If professional athletes are so desperate to get our money, let the thieves have it, I just recommend everyone to go hop on their own bikes and enjoy the sport the way it was meant to be.

If you want to be a winner, you never let the other guy get the jump on you. NEVER. Nice guys finish last. Or second,and moral victories count for shit. Rubbin'is racin'.Go big or go home. Your'e fired. You are the weakest link. If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score? Quitters never win, winners never quit. The only way to be number one is to be number one. Nothing can seem foul to those who win. Too bad that doping has taken over in cycling also, but it's not like it's a new problem by decades,and I always thought Lance was clean. really don't care that he wasn't. Just glad he beat the smug bastards that say they don't dope, or that their team doesn't dope.

I enjoyed every Lance victory. I bought the videos, and watched them from beginning to end, thrilled at how Lance dropped Pantani, Ullrich,and all the rest, and I experienced the feeling of schadenfreude when it turned out that his rivals were dopers and still couldn't beat him. Now, I'm feeling let down, and very frightened for Lance's longterm prospects legally.

He lied. He'll probably go to prison for some years.

You can say it doesn't matter that the sport is clean but it really does matter.

Seriously who will follow the drugged circuit of cycling? My doped out team is better than your doped out team. America's doped out cycling squad sponsored by Big Pharm? Think again. Without the illusion that cycling is clean...there is no cycling. That's my opinion.

as a guitar-playing, bike commuting, jazz aficionado; the link to the ukelele book was priceless. This is what I've been waiting for. Now I need to ditch the 6 string and find myself a Uke! Thanks again bike snob. All you retro grouches need to get with that song list. That shit is the bomb!

while what information I have is second-hand and it's always dangerous to speculate--which is almost all we do on blogs/blawgs...Lance is looking at "fraud" charges which under federal criminal statues provides: Whoever, having devised or intending to devise any scheme or artifice to defraud, or for obtaining money or property by means of false or fraudulent pretenses, representations, or promises, transmits or causes to be transmitted by means of wire, radio, or television communication in interstate or foreign commerce, any writings, signs, signals, pictures, or sounds for the purpose of executing such scheme or artifice, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than 20 years, or both. If the violation affects a financial institution, such person shall be fined not more than $1,000,000 or imprisoned not more than 30 years, or both.

It's not that he got money from USPS, but that's symbolically very bad for Lance.

On the perjury front, Lance provided a deposition (under oath) in the case involving the $5 million bonus which may have been perjurious--although I asm not an expert on the limitation periods. But you need to bear in mind that concealment of a crime operates to "toll" the limitation periods in many instances.

The one thing you can be certain of...the feds cross every "t" and dot every "i." So an indictment if one comes (which I suspect will happen) may come soon or after some time when we all no longer think anything is happening. On the other hand I would not be surprised if negotiations on a plea deal are already underway with Lance and company completely denying it. Just my opinion.

But if you find yourself going off on long tangents about personal matters, it's time to get back on track. Your topic will also influence how personal or professional you want to come across in your style. A good rule of thumb is: if you wouldn't say it in an email to a client, it shouldn't go up on your company's blog.

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As you get more comfortable with the process, you'll develop your own unique blogging style!

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About Me

While I love cycling and embrace it in all its forms, I'm also extremely critical. So I present to you my venting for your amusement and betterment. No offense meant to the critiqued. Always keep riding!