Neither of us said anything for quite some time. I sat there looking down at the floor while Ted played with his fingers. I wanted him to say something first, because I sure as hell couldn't. To be honest...I didn't even know how I was FEELING. Was I angry that he just barged into my life unannounced? Was I scared he might ruin things between Taylor & me? Was I happy he was here...?

"So...how have you been?" he asked cautiously.

"Fine."

He nodded.

"So are you & that guy...together?" he asked.

"Taylor, yeah, he's...my boyfriend," I said, unsure of why I hesitated. God this was awkward.

"Cool."

"So what about you? Do you have a boyfriend?"

"No. I've been single ever since I left here."

"So no one since me?"

He shook his head no.

"Look, Nick...I've got a million things to say to you, & I just don't know where to even start."

"How about a simple apology?" I said coldly.

"I'm sorry. There's not a way in the world I can show you how sorry I am."

"Why did you just...abandon me?" I asked him.

"I freaked. I mean, EVERYBODY found out I was a 'fag' & I just wanted to get away from here as fast as possible. I was forced to tell my parents & they took it terribly & they moved us away, just like that. I figured if I didn't have anything to do with you anymore, I would move on much more easily, & that I could basically start over at my new school."

"So why did you guys come back?"

"My dad was offered a job much closer to here & he couldn't pass it up."

"So they took it badly?" I said.

"What?"

"When they found out you were gay. They didn't take it well?"

His eyes darted to the ground & he shook his head.

"No. They despise it, especially my dad."

"What did they do?"

"I...I don't really wanna talk about it," Ted replied.

"They yelled?"

Ted inhaled a deep, shaky breath & ignored my question. I didn't pry.

"So...are you gonna come back to school?"

"Yeah. I'm comin' back in the fall. I have to help move everything into our house."

"Where do you live now?"

"On the same street as I did before, only on the other end."

"Ok."

Ted looked back up at me.

"Nick...I can't possibly show you how sorry I am. Every day after I moved & still up until now I thought about you, about US. I missed our good times together, our make out sessions, our secret dates, our laughs, our stories. It killed me that I left, & to be honest, it's the biggest regret of my life. I loved you so much Nick, & you know how much I cared about you. What I did was...selfish & stupid, & I'll never forgive myself for leaving you behind, especially without even telling you. You deserved to know, more than anyone else. At first, for a long time, I blamed you for everything, because you kissed me in front of everybody at your friend's party. But after a while, I realized...it was never your fault. I shouldn't have pushed you away when you not only wanted me most, but NEEDED me most. God I'm so sorry Nick," Ted's eyes started to get shiny, like forest green marbles.

"I know you are," I replied.

"Please forgive me."

Forgive him? Could I? Even if I wanted to? DID I want to?

"I...I don't know Ted."

"Ok," he said quietly.

We sat in silence for a bit until he started talking again.

"So how long have you & Taylor been together?"

"A few months now."

"Wow. I never thought he would turn out gay. I bet it shocked the hell out of people."

"Well, actually, the thing is...he's still in the closet. I'm pretty much the only person who knows."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah."

"Well when did you find out?"

"When we started hanging out as friends, I got a funny vibe, but I was never sure. He was peaking through some of my magazines last year."

"You still keep those old things?" Ted grinned.

"Yeah. But I don't use them anymore since Taylor & I...ya know."

Ted's face suddenly clouded over, as if he were upset to hear that. But it only lasted a split second.

"So, I was thinking...maybe we could start hanging out again? I know you're with Taylor & everything, but I hope that doesn't mean we can't become friends again. You don't have to forgive me or anything, but I'd really like us to be cool with each other."

"i can only help u 2 an extent nick. after that, its up 2 u. im just givin u my advice, which is simply just to TALK TO HIM lol."

"bitch please, ull help me til the day i drop."

"call me bitch again & that that day might come much quicker," he joked.

"lmao."

"i g2g, something came up. ttyl man," he typed.

"c ya."

I got off the computer & called Taylor's cell phone. No answer. I called his home phone. No answer. I sighed, knowing that I had to talk to him as soon as possible. And at the moment, that meant only one thing.