Musings of a California raised Mexican immigrant living life in a little corner of Texas.

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5.03.2011

Celebrations?

By now, the entire world is aware of the elite Seals team that took down Osama Bin Laden.

Am I relieved? I don't know.

Quite frankly, I'd lost track of him on my mind's radar long ago. I don't suppose that's a good thing. So I can't say I'm relieved in the way that I was relived at the end of last week's standardized testing. I did a happy dance in the privacy of my classroom when the last student left for the week. Well, I didn't really dance but I was very relieved to have it over and done.

That's not how I felt Sunday night when I saw on the news that bin Laden had been killed by our elite forces. I'd been dozing in and out and couldn't really absorbe the significance of it. So I turned off the television and went to sleep.

As I was making the bed Monday morning, I heard the news again. This time I was wide awake, totally cognizant of what was going on. Husband walked in about this time, he was surprised; he was sound asleep when the news first came out Sunday night. The newscast was replaying the celebrations taking place in Washington D.C. and New York. I had mix feelings. Is it really proper to celebrate the killing of another human, no matter how nefarious? Don't get me wrong, there is justice in what was done and I support the action but I don't know that I would have run out in the streets chanting and reveling in someones death.

I remember 9/11 all too well. I remember what I was doing the very moment I found out what happened, the sounds, the smells, the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I also remember the horror at seeing the towers collapse on live television. I was numb as I tried to help the students make sense of what had happened. I was glued to each and every newscast, for days. I found myself crying without apparent reason, though deep down I knew why. And I was angry. Angry at bin Laden and his hench men for shattering a lifestyle we had all taken for granted.

Perhaps if bin Laden's death had come soon after 9/11 I would have celebrated in the streets as many did Sunday night. Most of the celebrations that I saw on the news took place in Washington D.C. and New York, which is understandable. To me, it felt almost surreal hearing the news of this killing.

I still don't really know if it's true. I saw the landing on the moon, I know that's real. I saw the twin towers fall, I know that's real. Call me skeptical, but I'm one of those that needs proof, pictures, video of the actual event to really believe it happened. What does this say about me?