Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Connections are amazing. They bring a touch of piquantness in
our lives. We have connections of varying nature, with so many people,
places and things around us. Sitting in my room I look a little left and I see
the wind chime hanging there, making mellisonant sounds, gliding along with the
wind and I remember the day when I was hanging it there, with my friends and I
couldn't stop myself from smiling and I kept smiling for a long time.. As you
can't separate a breeze from a wind same way people and things are connected
with you in some intricate ways and you can't part with them without losing a part
of yourself.

Joy is the best makeup- I
read that somewhere. May be that's right because when I gaze in to those
lovely-ugly faces of people I give a damn about I hardly see any blemishes.
Their flaws never bother me, instead that's make them irritatingly more
adorable or special ...all these lifeless objects that are lying around me
sending a constant signal that you ain't dead and drained.. just keep up. Keep
up with the pace with which world around is moving..

Randomness is grinning

and I smile back..

how it connects me

with all of you out there

I never asked for you

you never did that for me

still, here we are

soldering, sharing all the worries

and woes of this flyspeck life

I look back at the days passed by

and the things that are hanging around

jeans that I wear or shoes in which I crawl

sheets on my bed or color of my wall

people with whom I painted it all

these nibbles and shots of flashbacks

fun memoirs that are stored in my memory

and my bagpack

when I'm standing on the edge

or lying at the lowest of my ebb

they keep me from falling

drag me out of that clumsy web

boastful joy and the love showers

I have, I enjoy more

then more I crave

I think the best way to shove off all your
worries is that remeber the Good Times and keep going on and on. People that
really belong to you will always there to push you up and all you need to do is
to extend your hands instead of holding it back.

The most important
thing is to enjoy your life—to be happy—it's all that matters

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Few days back an old friend of mine called me
up. We lost connection long back but somehow she got my number. We talked a
couple of minutes and decided to meet-up. There's a thing about old friends you
can just dump all your F^*k n S*%t and feel light. Damn she was in bad state and
the moment I saw her I knew that something was wrong, Long story short, she was
living a life of an outcast in her own house and that made me think ............
that

Do we need to be on an uninhabited island or in some scary jungle
or jail to feel like an outcast ??

Nah, rather you can get that feeling sitting in your own room
and I guess that feeling is more awful than the previous ones. Damned in your
own heaven, among your own people... who
says you need to die to go to Hell... Hell is right here and you are burning right
there in that corner and there's nothing you can do about it.

It's like people around you talking in some ancient language.
Like they all share a past, a past with no mark of you. For them you are
something of a queer type and all that comes out of your mouth is nothing but
fiddle-faddle of your own making. There's no way you can convince them and no
way they see what you see. Bounded by the chains of colored judgments their
minds are clouded and blocked and you are pinned down, secluded in your mind
you are there but not around. But, you hope for things to change and smetimes they do

Picture Credit:http//tinyurl.com/d4mkobh

Mortals around her
wonder

how can she ever
feel like

some burning wood

in a middle of a
room

others feeling warm

but she's aflamed,
feeling

not worth a darn

pent up emotions

looking for a leak

to breathe some air

not to cease and
appease

people talking,
walking

snooping all around
in

slow-motion and
silent sounds

Clock ticks in her
room

she peers back at it

move fast you
prick, she raves

little bird in her
wanna go out

she hopes to imbibe
the talents

people outside
have, she flew

but her clipped wings gave out

She's waiting for a
morning

when sun will rise
like never before

in bits n pieces
she is garnering

gallant and galore

she's too tough for
that clipped bird

in her heart, she's
recuperating

every minute, every
hour

Did you ever felt like an outcast ??

I did, many times...

I am the outcast come home to roost and the eggs of tomorrow are
incubating in my fame. You hate me, you love me, you made me, and now I am in
you. I am like that disease brewing in your loins and I think you like
it…”

Thursday, April 11, 2013

There are very few human beings
who receive the truth, complete and staggering, by instant illumination. Most
of them acquire it fragment by fragment, on a small scale, by successive
developments, cellularly, like a laborious mosaic~ Anais Nin

As far as I'm concerned I certainly belong to latter. Tree of my
life is growing up slowly or rather I would say too slowly, cell by cell, leaves by leaves. Most of the times each leaf costs too much efforts, practice or melodrama. Sometimes it's my mum and dad
and whole bunch of "Others" giving me pearls of knowledge, which makes me feel like
crap at times, or sometimes it's just everyday insults and humiliations that
completes the scene, or sometimes it's those small things that makes up a
day :P

With each such hiccup and achievement I learn something. I guess my tree grow by an
inch more or less. Though at that moment I don't feel like growing at all, but realization
is a stage in life that often comes late :D

With
every page I turn

and
every phrase I highlight

with
every dialogue that impresses me

I
grow inside..

With
every book on my shelf

and
every friend I make

with
every fight that tires me

I
grow inside..

With
every twist on my way

and
every turn that I take
with every crossroad I cross

I
grow inside..

With every picture that I see

and every sound I hear

with all those colors and vibrations around

I grow inside..

With
every flip of the page

I find something to smile or cry

with
that every lil curve and tear out of my eyes

I
grow inside..

How
far I'll go ?
How far I can go ?

maybe,
this time I don't wanna know

I
wish if someone can hide.

With
every passing day

and
every passing night

I just wanna grow inside :)

At the end just think, just give it a thought"Ifthere was only one tree like that in the world, you
would think it was beautiful. But because there are so many, you just can't see
how beautiful it really is.”―Betty Smith,A Tree Grows in Brooklyn

Saturday, April 6, 2013

"I don't wanna remember this crappy thing, not
even for a single day". I've lost track of the number of times I repeated that
sentence in my life. Tried to console
myself that from today onwards this chapter is closed... for eternity. But, do
you really able to forget ? Then there are times when you want to freeze and
say-" Let's not forget this" But, do you always able to recollect ? Answer
is... at least in my case a big NO

How do you lose a word? Does it vanish into
your memory, like an old toy in a cupboard, and lie hidden in the cobwebs and
dust, waiting to be cleaned out or rediscovered?

~Amitav Ghosh

Some
say that there's this thing called sub-consciousness and that's the place where
all mysteries of memory that are beyond our understanding lies. I say- "
Who Cares" when time comes this foxy memoir of yours play its card and all
you do is deal with the consequences irrespective of good or bad.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

We all have tendency to get accustomed to
things happening around very easily. Routine, job, moods, environment and what
not. Somehow we are able to cope with oddities of everyday life and get on. So
many people come and go in our life, each one adding a layer of different
color and size. There are few who become much closer as compared to others. They
succeed in breaching the walls of the fortress of strong personality we project to the outside world. With them we are nothing but ourselves, vulnerable but happy. We share our world with them and somewhere deep down unknowingly
expect that we are an important part of their world too. But, the curious thing is
despite all this friendliness and comfort

we never
actually get accustomed to being less important to those people than they are
to us.