The county’s nightmarish A14 was closed earlier today due to an incident which possibly involved some vehicles, and maybe some livestock.

The accident occurred somewhere between junctions 21 (Brampton Hut) and 29 (Girton Interchange). Traffic came to a standstill on neighbouring roads such as the M11 and A428, and had a knock-on effect in towns including Huntingdon, St Neots and St Ives, as traffic was diverted away from the main route.

It is not yet known if anyone was injured. A police spokesman said the road would be open “later”.

The Citizen Editor lives in Citizen Towers, on the town’s luxurious Westside. Rumoured to be nearly thirty, he has claimed to be 23 for the last few years and is currently also a grotty tax-dodging student.

His hobbies involve upsetting small villages and repeatedly giving up smoking. He drinks approximately a gallon of tea every day.