Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Who Lives In A Cul-De-Sac And Cleans Up The Pee?

SPONGEMOM STRETCHPANTS! toot toot toot toot toot toot! So who is spongemom stretchpants? Me, of course. Mom of 3 boys and now that I'm in my (ah hem) late 30's I have surrendered to stretch pants. Yes, mom jeans. Spandex if you will. How I got to this place in my life is a complete blur. I once was a hot lifeguard, tan, toned, driving a little red sports car blasting Van Halen as loud as it could go. Now? I'm rockin' the mini-van and the mom jeans with three boys driving me completely insane. I feel like that woman on that mini-van commercial who says that she hears "hot babysitter" all the time.

A word of warning to all young, single women out there:
The road to mom jeans and a mini-van is not as long as you might think. While you're busy looking the other direction you find yourself in love, then before long you find yourself married, then everyone wants grandkids. BEWARE! Girls, they want grandkids because they are cute and they can send them home and guess who they're going home with? YOU my friend, YOU. Next thing you know you have one child and you fall in love all over again. You love that child so much that you decide, "Hey, I like THAT one so much, let's have another one!" BEWARE! Ladies, they don't stay cute forever. Factor that into your equation! They also don't tell you that after child #2, and yes, child#3 your body blows up like a blimp and no matter how many diets you try or walks with the stroller you take, you just keep getting fatter! Before you know it......MOM JEANS! Be afraid, be very afraid!