Common nickname for US Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld (because he failed, get it?). Somehow this man set the world's most powerful military against a bunch of starving neighborhood thugs with counterfeit AKs and homemade bombs, and lost. Rumsfailed was able to achieve this fabulous result because he is a civilian businessman with no military experience, and ran the war as a business, trying to make money for his employers (General Dynamics, Halliburton, Carlisle Group), rather than actually trying to win or stabilize the country.

Rumsfailed says:
"I'm against deploying troops in wars. When you pay a soldier the soldier gets the money. When you buy billions of dollars worth of uneeded crap from Halliburton and General Dynamics then the military industrial complex gets the profit. Which is why we fight meaningless wars like this in the first place."