OK.. with schools, supervisors, and teachers and all that but I’ll have you know that I’ve done a camping trip that comprised of 8 hours of canoeing across the Salmon Arm (I might be exaggerating but it was definitely in the 6-8 hour ballpark.)

Anyways, this was the first time I’ve gone camping sans age 25+ chaperones. This time it was just my friends and I, and honestly.. I know next to nothing about camping except for you need a tent and a sleeping bag. And that a cot is a good idea.

Although, I do know that you can use Doritos for kindling (thank you, Tumblr.)

Bacon-centered weekend

The second night, we were rained out. This mass of angry James and the Giant Peach-esque grey clouds hovering above our campsite spurred our suspense to level 100. Uh, who knew it could rain so hard for one hour? Everything was in complete mayhem for that one hour–we tarped our tent, Nicolle and I had to pack everything in our tent, load the camping gear in to the pickup, tarp everything in the pickup once the tent was taken down, etc–honestly felt like the apocalypse was upon us (which, judging by how poorly we reacted to the sudden torrential downpour, we would never survive.)

So here are some things I learned that weekend:

bring two tarps–even if the first one is the size of a high school gymnasium

you need two tarps–one for under and over the tent–because if it rains, water pools under the tent (so logical and smart, and why the fuck didn’t we bring two tarps?)

Ellen Degeneres has saved us all (please refer to an Apple App Store and search “Heads Up”)

tents aren’t waterproof

citronella is holy

three packs of bacon is not overdoing anything by any means

floaties are integral

the geese at Cultus Lake are most likely on a high-fibre diet

fire ash does not take away from the wonderment that is s’mores

you will need ice

Doritos can be used as kindling…

don’t steal anyone’s campsite parking because they will tell on you

one word: gazebo

don’t anger the park ranger because he takes his job very seriously

red and white checkered table cloths would have been everything

communal naptime should always be on the agenda

don’t panic in times of panic

In Hawaii, Jason and I laughed at how dangerous it is to ride in the back of a pickup truck. Especially since we were driving behind this especially melancholy-looking couple on a highway (they weren’t looking too happy as it had started to rain). But I realized how fun it might be to just lie there (on a sunny day), and watch the clouds pass by. It’s like lying in a field and staring at the sky, except now you’re the one who’s moving.

Been saying, “Mom, you suuuuuuck!” the entire night. She was legit ready to bask in all the glory that is reproaching me. Trust me. Bickering is an Olympic sport for my mother, and therefore it is something truly special when she thinks she’s right but is actually wrong.

My grandma and uncle went back to the place to drop off the coat, et voilà.

Came home with the charcuterie and cheese platter. Fate fucking exists, y’all.