49ers’ house of cards will be thrill to watch

1of449ers quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo runs with the ball during the first half of last September’s game against the Chiefs — the game in which he later suffered a season-ending torn ACL.Photo: Charlie Riedel / Associated Press 2018

2of4Nick Bosa of Ohio State was chosen second overall in last week’s draft by the 49ers.Photo: Andy Lyons / Getty Images

3of4Boston Celtics head coach Brad Stevens during the second half of Game 1 of a second round NBA basketball playoff series Sunday, April 28, 2019, in Milwaukee. The Celtics won 112-90 to take a 1-0 lead in the series. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)Photo: Morry Gash / Associated Press

4of4South Bend Mayor and Democratic presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg speaks at the West Side Democratic Club during a Dyngus Day celebration event on April 22.Photo: Kamil Krzaczynski / Getty Images

No pressure on you, Jimmy Garoppolo and Nick Bosa. All you have to do this coming season is save a franchise from collapsing into rubble and becoming the sports version of the Roman Empire.

The 49ers will be the best show in football, epic theater one way or the other, and it’s all on the shoulders of the inexperienced quarterback and the rookie defensive end.

The 49ers play in Levi’s Stadium, but they could be sponsored this season by No Excuses Jeans.

Here’s the worst-case scenario, although some will see it as best-case: The team goes from floundering (struggling and stumbling) to foundering (sinking to the bottom) and the York family cashes out.

Team owner Denise DeBartolo York notes with alarm the downturn in ticket revenue, the half-empty stadium, all the salaries she’s paying for long-departed coaches, the increasing abuse heaped on her son and team CEO Jed, and says, “The thrill is gone. We are outta here.”

The 49ers are rolling the dice with a coach who hasn’t shown he can win the big ones, a general manager with a short and iffy track record, a quarterback whose massive salary and hype are backed by flimsy evidence, a rookie defensive end with injury issues, and an ownership that can no longer kick back and wait for the good times to roll again.

Bosa has to play big. Forget about his social-media issues. This guy has to bag some quarterbacks. The 49ers picked Bosa over Alabama defensive tackle Quinnen Williams, a healthy, high-character player with more potential upside than Bosa. Head coach Kyle Shanahan and general manager John Lynch can’t afford a whiff here.

Garoppolo has to shine. He can’t be average or injured.

If your offense and your defense are anchored by two huge question marks, your team is a house of cards.

That can be cool. A house of cards is a work of art and a marvel of construction ... as long as nobody breathes.

Deep thoughts, cheap shots & bon mots ...

• Answer: James Holzhauer. Question: What the hell is Billy Beane waiting for? Beane has to hire Holzhauer, the “Jeopardy” sensation who in aired episodes is riding a 22-game winning streak, with nearly $1.7 million pocketed. Holzhauer is a professional sports gambler, but that’s his fallback profession, behind his dream job as a Moneyball-type front-office geek, like Beane. Better buzz in quickly, Billy.

• The Warriors, instead of asking the league to increase the number of allowable technical fouls in the playoffs, should work on decreasing the number they rack up. The Warriors argue that they are more susceptible to suspension because they play so deep into the playoffs, but whatever team they’re playing has played just as deep.

• If the Warriors whined less, maybe their fans would also take the high road and dump the “Ref you suck” chant. That’s low-rent stuff even at Podunk Tech.

• Veteran NFL draft analyst Rob Rang: “At no time in NFL history has the league been more accommodating to a dual-threat quarterback.” Well sure, as long as the quarterback is 5-foot-9. But it would be stupid to risk taking a look at a dual-threat QB who is 6-4, sprinter-fast, a free agent in his prime, with Super Bowl experience. No NFL team is that crazy.

• If my arms were bigger, this would be my first tattoo: (Damian Lillard on “pressure”): “Pressure, nah. Fam, this is just playing ball. Pressure is the homeless man who doesn’t know where his next meal is coming from. Pressure is the single mom who is trying to scuffle to pay her rent. We get paid a lot of money to play a game. Don’t get me wrong, there are challenges. But to call it pressure is almost an insult to regular people.”

• If you love Rockets’ general manager Daryl Morey lobbying the NBA office for better calls, and analyzing the refs, tip your cap to Pat Riley. The Miami Heat boss is the godfather of that stuff. When Riley coached the Lakers, they regularly sent clips to the league office showing assaults committed on center Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. And the Lakers kept score on which refs gave them the best shot.

• Best illusionist team in show biz: Siegfried and Roy, or James Harden and Chris Paul?

Knucklehead of the week: The White House caterer

Another good reason for the Warriors to not visit the White House (if they need another good reason): The “meals” served to honored sports teams.

Those trash-food grease fests offered up by POTUS could knock a team completely out of its nutritional groove. At least the Baylor Bears women’s basketball team can hibernate to lose any unwanted pounds.

Scott Ostler has been a sports columnist at the San Francisco Chronicle since 1991. He has covered five Olympics for The Chronicle, as well as one soccer World Cup and numerous World Series, Super Bowls and NBA Finals.

Though he started in sports and is there now, Scott took a couple of side trips into the real world for The Chronicle. For three years he wrote a daily around-town column, and for one year, while still in sports, he wrote a weekly humorous commentary column.

He has authored several books and written for many national publications. Scott has been voted California Sportswriter of the Year 13 times, including six times while at The Chronicle. He moved to the Bay Area from Southern California, where he worked for the Los Angeles Times, the National Sports Daily and the Long Beach Press-Telegram.