Kevin S. Malley calls fighting fires “the greatest job,” but it’s also incredibly demanding: firefighters lug 30-pound water cans, 25-pound power saws and portable ladders that weigh 65-110 pounds; climb stairs and ladders at lighting speed; carry people to safety and break down doors, all while wearing heavy protective clothing and equipment. Hence the need to be in top physical shape. His manual begins with a vivid description of responding to a fire, then details a training plan and provides nutrition tips. The bulk of the book is devoted to training in flexibility, aerobics and (most extensively) strength, with plenty of photos and step-by-step instructions.

Is this a groundbreaking book? No, and it’s not even the first book about training like a firefighter (Michael Stefano’s “The Firefighter’s Workout Book” came out in 2001). But it is well-written and gives a realistic glimpse into the life of a firefighter, not to mention emphasizes the importance of functional fitness, instead of fitness purely for aesthetics. And macho types who like to push themselves might want to follow this program just to brag to their friends that they’re “firefighter fit.”

Note: Malley is donating all the profits from book sales to a scholarship fund in honor of two of his fellow firefighters who died on 9/11.

If you are the type of person who TiVo’s E!, subscribes to every celebrity tabloid out there and can recite the name of every one of Angelina Jolie’s children, this is the book for you. If you’re the type of person who believes that every woman has a different shape and they’re all beautiful, run far, far from this book.

Rob Parr, who trains the Hollywood elite, somehow got it into his head that every singe woman on earth hates her bodies and would rather look like a famous movie star. “Let’s get real here. We want to look like celebrities!” he enthuses in chapter one. More specifically, like Madonna (who has a “quintessential athletic body”), Naomi Watts (“the trim and slim dancer-type body”) or Demi Moore (“slender yet voluptuous”). Choose the one you most want to emulate, and Parr will tell you how to eat and exercise to make yourself resemble one of these paragons of femininity.

Along the way, he adds little insider anecdotes about how Moore keeps her exercise regimen interesting and how Watts gained only 26 pounds during her pregnancy.

Parr also assumes that “All women . . . have very specific areas of concern that you can, and we will, target.” These areas include “Chest/armpit pudge,” “Bra-strap fat” and “Big butts/flat butts.” Wow, Mr. Parr, your understanding of women is uncanny! Tell us more!

He does: “When you get dressed, do you turn around to see what everyone behind you gets to stare at and critique? I have news for you  you should. If you have back fat, as way too many woman do, you would be surprised by how bad some tight shirts and tank tops look on you.” (page 55)

To be fair, Parr’s methods of transforming readers into celebrity look-alikes involve healthy eating and exercise, not starvation, bulimia and plastic surgery. But his condescending tone and belief that all women are as superficial as he is makes for a disturbing book. And the constant name-dropping is just annoying  we get it, you know Madonna.

The bottom line is, if you’re like most woman in the world, achieving a body like Demi Moore’s through natural means (and without airbrushing) is next to impossible, and buying in to the premise of this book is almost certain to set you up for failure.