Quayle-bashing Runs Rampant In New Publications

The problem is not with your newspaper. Do not adjust your newspaper. The problem is with Dan Quayle.

Jokesters, at best, say he's a potato head - a half-baked, bland, no-brain kind of guy. And did we mention that he can't spell?

The Dan Quayle Diktionary (Berkley Books, $4.95 paperback) is a whole book on the vice president's free-wheeling, bad-spelling habits - ''I'm only a heartbeet away!'' the cover proclaims. The book also points out the time he made headlines in June by telling a New Jersey schoolboy that ''potato'' ends with an ''e.''

There also is Where's Dan Quayle, a Where's Waldo spinoff book, and there's a publication called the Quayle Quarterly, an East Coast journal dedicated to Quayle-isms and Quayle humor. We'll also mention, Dan Quayle: Airhead Apparent, (Behind the News Press, $4.95 paperback), but we'll have to stop there, because we're running out of roome.

Esquire magazine's August issue has a whole page of Quayle knocks. This includes quotes from his father, James Quayle, who said his son ''doesn't have the greatest smarts in the world,'' and that his son's ''main interests in school were broads and booze.''

What is our problem with J. Danforth Quayle? And where does he rank on the scale of U.S. politician trashing and bashing?

He's actually not on the top of the jokes heap, according to the Center for Media and Public Affairs in Washington, D.C. The center tracks political jokes on late-night television. This year, through July 17, Quayle jokes totaled 159 - that's No. 3, behind Bill Clinton, No. 2, and George Bush, the top target.

But Quayle jokes are a breed of their own, said Dan Amundson, the center's research director. They tend to hit specific, consistent themes, rather than the issues of the day.

''It's always that Dan Quayle is either a kid playing with grown-ups, or that he's just not too bright or intellectually on par,'' Amundson said.

Quayle is not a punch line, insists James Lee, a spokesman for the Bush-Quayle campaign in California. Lee is fuming.

''The only reason people write jokes poking fun at Dan Quayle is they want to make money,'' Lee said. ''Simply put, give the guy a break. The vice president, for four years, has done his job well, taken more criticism than any other human being should be allowed to make and not once complained.''

Political experts said that it's not unusual for outspoken vice presidents to come under attack.

''The ones that stay in the public mind are the ones who are combative and acted the role of hatchet man,'' said Robert Dallek, a UCLA history professor and expert on the American presidency.

Bush also was the fodder for joke mongers when he was vice president under Ronald Reagan.

Among memorable Bush quotes, as printed in Political Babble: The 1,000 Dumbest Things Ever Said by Politicians (John Wiley & Sons, $14.95):

''I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don't always agree with them.''

Or: ''I'm for Mr. Reagan - blindly,'' Bush was quoted as saying on working with Reagan.

''The believers out there believe it's the conspiracy of the media and liberal establishment out to get him,'' said Eric Schockman, adjunct professor of political science at UCLA. ''The more scrutiny, the more fodder he gets to pander to a core segment of the Republican Party that really believes this is another vindication of him. It's kind of a Frankenstein creation.''