19 July 2008

Pillars of Sand

My Hunky Man is in the vet hospital this morning. We had a long night last night, leaving home at 4:30pm to run down to our regular vet in the hopes that they would send me home with doggie tummy meds and tell me I was worrying for nothing over his refusal of food and nausea. We left our regular vet around 6:30, xrays in hand and headed for Upstate Veterinary Specialists to admit H to their hospital so that he could have an ultrasound this morning.

"There is something weird on the X ray." Still ringing in my ears, the words from the vet as I sat in the exam room alone, listening to them talking on the other side of the door. I'm waiting for a call now that they've done the ultrasound and will know if he needs full blown surgery or if they can "scope it out" as the poor tired on call vet told me last night.

It's so weird in the house this morning without him here. Not that I'm expecting H to die, far from it, he's a healthy 12 years young (as of this past Wednesday) but when Profile died it felt like half of my world had just been ripped open. Profile was such a presence in the house and in our lives that it was dumbfounding not to have him there.

Not so with my H man. He's the foundation of our home and our lives. He's always there, his nose is always nudging my elbow gently, always on the dog bed across the room asleep. The girls and Mills and I are floating, sort of, this morning, waiting for our anchor to come back and pull us all back together into our furry little family.

Oh, how I love that dog.

One minute I held the keyNext the walls were closed on meAnd I discovered that my castles standUpon pillars of salt, and pillars of sand-Viva la Vida, Coldplay