Sunday, September 15, 2013

I
must reach my God! I must see His face, hear His voice. He dwells upon
the mount. The mount that looms above me. I am here below, in a deep,
dark chasm, a pit. Yet, I know the way to Him lies above and I must go.

The
path leading up is steep and dark. Treacherous, but I must risk it, for
He has placed with in my soul a need to see Him, face to face. And so, I
reach upwards, searching for a hand hold. First one hand, then the
other, and with stumbling feet, I try to find a path to God.

I
gain a bit, a foothold here, then stretching forth my hand, I slip!
Slip backward and lose my ground! Striving, grasping, but I seem to not
advance at all, and yet, with the weakening of my flesh, my soul does
strive still!

My very heart cries out to climb to God,
but I do not seem to progress. I know He resides above and that is where
I must go. There is no other place of peace. I must go! Upward, upward!
Go!

At that moment, I feel the strength of my arm
falter, at that very moment, I lose my grip...and fall. Down, down...I
fall to the lowest place. It is as if I had not attempted the climb at
all. I am filled with despair knowing I had given it my all. I can not
climb to my God. There is no hope for me. I am to die and forever be
here in the depths of darkness.

And as I lay there,
waiting for death, broken and afraid, I hear a sound upon the path. The
sound of footsteps coming down the very way I had trod. The path that
led to my fall. To where I now lay dismayed. Hearing the footsteps, I
feel a glimmer of hope rekindled in my soul. Upon opening my eyes, I see
my God, coming down for me! He reaches out His nail scared hand for me,
He lifts me up, in His strong embrace, and all my fears dissolve.

Lovingly,
He carries me to the mountain top. He places me upon my feet to stand
in that blessed spot. And what a view I now behold as I stand atop the
Mount of God!

I feel as if sunlight is in my soul, even
as I hear the thunder of a storm below. I am calm on this height where I
stand beside my God, for no storm or cloud can reach me. I am under
clear, blue skies that reach for all eternity. I am strong in this
place! No one can harm me. I am secure, at peace with all.

This is life! This is joy! My God has found me! He lifted me up to see His face! To hear His voice!
And now, His love I know!

I John 4:19We love him, because he first loved us.

Romans 5:8But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we wereyetsinners, Christ died for us.

Isaiah 26:4Trust ye in the LORD for ever: for in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting strength.

These are thoughts I write down in my
devotional journal. At times I must fight depression with chronic pain
and find writing to be helpful in organizing my thoughts and reminding
me of truths. I rarely share them with anyone, but decided to do so
here. The mountain pictured is what was in my mind's eye.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

We profess to be strangers and pilgrims, seeking after a country of our
own, yet we settle down in the most un-stranger-like fashion, exactly as
if we were quite at home and meant to stay as long as we could. I don't
wonder apostolic miracles have died. Apostolic living certainly has."
— Amy Carmichael

If I ask to be delivered from trial rather
than for deliverance out of it,
to the praise of His glory;If I forget that the way of the cross
leads to the cross
and not to a bank of flowers;If I regulate my life on these lines,
or even unconsciously my
thinking,
so that I am surprised when the
way is rough and think it
strange, though the word is,
"Think it not strange,"
"Count it all joy."then I know nothing of Calvary love.