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12/08/2005

After dastardly young liberals wrecked her speech last night at the University of Connecticut, that grand doyenne of conservative punditry, Ann Coulter (pic.), reportedly shared the following exchange with a student in the audience:

One student asked what she would do if she had a child who came out as gay.

Coulter replied: "I'd say, `Did I ever tell you you're adopted?'"

Which is just a hoot, really. It totally reminds us of the time a student asked us what we would do if our child came out as Ann Coulter, to which we replied,

"Did we ever tell you that both your opinions and body are overexposed, neither of which we've ever found all that interesting or original? Plus, young descendent of ours, most everything that comes out of your mouth is phrased in a mean-spirited, sarcastic tone that makes it seem as if you exist on your own plane of extreme knowledge that mere mortals of either party are incapable of fully grasping. Partisan punditry at its most divisive is what you embrace, my child.

We don't deeply despise you like some of our liberal buddies, kiddo, we just simply don't GET why we know you (despite the fact that you're our kid). You kinda remind us of the current crop of well-connected teen "pop stars" -- just because you have access to a microphone doesn't necessarily mean you should use it, oh child of ours who just told us that they're Ann Coulter."