Aung San Suu Kyi 'disappointed' at lack of Rangoon Starbucks

Burma's newly-freed pro-democracy leader Aung San Suu Kyi has slammed the country's military junta after she spent two days hunting unsuccessfully for a Starbucks in the capital Rangoon.

'I've been waiting fifteen years for a tall skinny decaf gingerbread latte with extra nutmeg,' the leader of the National League for Democracy told crowds of supporters at a rally. 'I always knew that the Burmese people had been suffering persistent human rights violations at the hands of this corrupt, illegitimate regime, but to find that you have been doing it without the help of Starbucks' rich, flavourful coffee blends and frappucinos - it's almost unbearable.'

Suu Kyi challenged the Burmese president, General Than Shwe, to recognise her victory in the 1990 general election, which was annulled by the regime. 'This isn't just a revolution,' she insisted. 'It's a thick, creamy, non-violent, peaceful uprising, topped with lashings of - what do you mean, we don't have Marks & Spencer either?'