“Some people, like, TOTALLY are all about taking your day and messing it up. It’s, like, their job or something! So if you are going to make being spiteful your job, why not make it your, like, LITERAL job. Sometimes there are these awesome, catty, powers that be who want to do nothing more than spread all the hate they can around. It makes them all giggly and happy and stuff and so people are happy to oblige them. Harpies are just all about that. They get magic and hexes and stuff from these guys so they can mess with mortals. It’s kind of a super sweet deal and it makes getting by in life just a little bit easier. So, like, be a harpy. Own your spiteful side and be proud of who you are!”

Alignment: Any Non-Good

Being a harpy is all about being spiteful and mean. Their patrons WANT them to be catty and kind of spiteful. It’s all about directing that hate towards others.

Spells: Unlike a witch, a harpy uses her Charisma in place of her Intelligence for her spellcasting (including spells, spells per day, difficulty classes for saving throws, bonus spells, etc).

Patron Spells: A harpy’s patron may only be one of the following: deception, insanity, trickery, time, or vengeance.

Insults (Su): In place of hexes a harpy gets insults, quips, and sleights that they can sling at their enemies. Ever insulted a man so hard his hair fell out or called someone a name so vile they vomited? That’s exactly what harpies can do at 1st level. They can take a creature’s heart out of their chest and stomp on it with a word.

A harpy can use their magically enhanced insults a number of times per day equal to 3 + 1/2 her harpy level (minimum +1).

All insults effect a single creature who can hear the harpy and understand them. An insult is a swift action that can only be done once per turn. Creatures targeted by a insult can attempt a Will save (DC 10 + 1/2 harpy level + the harpy’s Charisma modifier) to negate it. A creature successfully affected by a particular insult cannot be affected by the same insult for 24 hours after its effect ends. Creatures that fail the Will save have their attitude towards the harpy lowered by 1 step. This is a mind affecting effect.

At 1st level, a harpy gains one insult of her choice. She gains an additional insult at 2nd level and for every 2 levels attained after 2nd level. A harpy cannot select an individual insult more than once.

The DC for the Will save against a harpy’s insult improves by 1 if the player actually comes up with an insult and by 2 if it is a particularly devastating or poignant insult.

This ability replaces hexes.

Insult List

Antagonizing Firecracker: With a word a creature affected by this insult is compelled to attack with furious rage. They gain the confused condition and benefit from a rage spell for a number of rounds equal to the harpy’s Charisma modifier. At 8th level, the duration increases by 3 rounds.

Appalling Banter: A creature affected by this is compelled to talk back to the harpy at great length - consuming the creature’s move or standard action on their next turn. If the harpy is at least 6th level, the creature’s hair also falls out.

Belittling Barrage: The harpy savages their target by berating them with a hailstorm of insults, insinuations, and “harsh truths”. They take a penalty on all attack rolls and skill checks equal to 1/4th her harpy level (minimum -1) for a number of rounds equal to her Charisma modifier. If the harpy is at least 6th level, she also has the option to have the creature reduced in size as per reduce person for the same duration.

Critique Fashion: One piece of armor or worn (not wielded) item chosen by the harpy suddenly falls off the target and lands in their square. How DARE they wear a cloak of resistance after labor day!

Cunning Observation: The creature is fascinated by the harpy for a number of rounds equal to her Charisma modifier.

Exhausting Conversation: The words spoken by the harpy drain the creature of any will to fight. They seem to go on and on and on (talking is a free action, right?) and NEVER stop. A creature affected by this insult is fatigued for a number of rounds equal to the harpy’s Charisma modifier. If the harpy is at least 8th level, this improves to the exhausted condition.

Hold Up: This insult may only be used at the start of a new round against an enemy creature and may be used as a free action. If the creature fails the Will save against this insult they go last in the initiative order this round. They are reset to their normal position in the turn order at the start of the following round.

Irrefutable Challenge: The harpy can command, giving her the power to give a single magical command to the target of her insult. This action can be something that would be against their normal alignment and interests, but not something that would result in certain death. They can be compelled to attack allies, consume items, etc. This is most appropriately done by challenging their masculinity, insinuating that you could do better, etc.

Mixed Up And Confused: The harpy twists words and hearts, turning friends against friends. A creature affected by this regards enemies as allies and allies as enemies for 1 round and is compelled to take hostile actions against their newfound enemies (former allies) as if they were their foes.

Sass Attack: Oh no you didn’t! In fact, you won’t be. This insult may be used as an immediate action when an opponent tries to make an attack against the harpy or one of her allies. If the creature fails with a Will save they have a choice. Either forgo the declared attack action, wasting it or take 1d8 + twice the harpy’s level in non-lethal damage. The damage is resolved before the creature makes their attack.

Spit Venom: A creature affected by this insult is poisoned by a specific injury poison of the harpy’s choice whose value is equal to or less than 100 gp per harpy level.

In addition, the harpy may select one of the following hexes in place of an insult. Any instance where the witch uses her Intelligence, a harpy uses her Charisma modifier for these hexes:

Cackle

Charm

Discord

Evil Eye

Tongues

Thick Skin (Ex): At 10th level, the DC to use Diplomacy or Intimidate checks against the harpy improves by 4. Furthermore, the harpy receives a +4 insight bonus against all mind affecting effects. This does not replace anything, though is given in place of the bonus provided by having access to major hexes.