Wednesday, March 09, 2005

A Few Items of Business, Like Nutrias and Bad Parenting

First item of Business: It might seem like I am a devoted and wonderful mother because I make thoughtful cd compilations for my children (and for anyone else who asks, by the way)--and I am. But in the interest of full disclosure, I feel like I should tell you that yesterday when my daughter refused to take a nap before ballet and I was insisting that she take the nap because I knew that sans nap, ballet lessons would not go very well I actually said to my just-turned-5-year-old-daughter in pink tights, "This is all going to blow up in your face," implying that if she did not take the nap, later at ballet it would "blow up in her face." I am bad, and I'm sure that the frightening metaphor was lost on her. Nevertheless, she curled up in a little ball (contemplating what her inscrutable, scary mother could have possibly meant) and fell asleep.

Yesterday I also downloaded REM's Life's Rich Pageant and as I listened to my (current) all-time favorite (old) REM song, "I Believe," I remembered that it has the words "I believe my throat hurts" and for just a few seconds I wished Sam's throat was still sore from the tonsillectomy so I could put that song on his cd and he could listen to it and it would be perfect. But I only wished he were in pain for a few seconds. I soon realized it wouldn't really be worth it.

Lastly--and this is unrelated--I just have to say that I hate that there is a semi-aquatic rodent called a nutria. I think nutria is the worst name in the world for that sort of thing and I really don't think it's necessary. I mean "nutria" gives the impression of something wholesome and healthy. Muskrat I can live with, but nutria really bothers me.

16 comments:

You make CD compilations for your kids? Is this to ensure coolness in later years, because if so, I think that's a fabulous idea.

And I totally agree with the nutria thing. That's a gross name for such a huge ugly rodent. Why does its name have to sound like a vitamin suppliment? "Come here kids, it's time to take your nutria..."

I have a serious problem with adult phrases coming out of my mouth when parenting my young children. I can't help it. I say things like, "Do you really think that is necessary?", "How do you think that will help the situation?", and "You need to be the solution, not the problem." I don't think my 3-year-old gets it. But, I like to think I should be congragulated for my 6-year-old's superb vocabulary.

I guess my real problem is that I never learned "motherese". And I hate talking in a high squeaky voice.

I am guessing it was my blog that brought up the nutrias and muskrats (thanks for reading!)If you think the name is ironic you should see what they look like. I came home the other night and there were two of them sniffing around on the edge of our lake. I stopped the car with my headlights on them and watched in morbid fascination for several minutes. They really do look like huge rats or "rodents of unusual size". I truly would not recommend giving them to your children as a nutritional supplement!

Thanks Mo, it was you who used the word nutria and made me sick. I think it is a nutria (R.O.U.S.) living behind me Nate. That almost looks like nutrious or nutritious. What's not to hate about a big rat masquerading as "nutritious."

I once dated a guy from New Orleans and when I went to visit him, I kept hearing all these references to the enormous "nutria" problem they were having in the city's sewers. And when the animal was explained to me all I could picture was the R.O.U.S from Princess Bride. So when my mom talks about them being across the street from her, all I can picture is 3 of them getting together for a midnight snack on my kids. Guess I'll cross Houston off the vacation list.