Author
Topic: Bridal Shower Invitation Question (Read 5475 times)

All right, so I'm the MOH in an upcoming wedding and am working away at the bridal shower. It's scheduled for the end of June, so I figure invitations should be sent out in early May. Here's the big question - does the registry information go ON the invitation itself, tastefully added at the bottom, or does it go IN the envelope with the invitation on a separate card?

I ask as I've seen it suggested both ways and I'm not sure if one is more correct than the other. And no, I won't be stuffing the envelopes full of those little registry cards, I'd be creating matching registry information cards to match the shower invites.

The correct etiquette is neither. Registry information is supposed to be provided through word of mouth. The guest can ask, but the information is not supposed to be included with the invitation in any form.

The correct etiquette is neither. Registry information is supposed to be provided through word of mouth. The guest can ask, but the information is not supposed to be included with the invitation in any form.

I know that's entirely true for the actual wedding invitations, but I was under the impression that the bridal shower was an entirely different story, i.e. the only invitation that registry information could be mentioned on/with.

The correct etiquette is neither. Registry information is supposed to be provided through word of mouth. The guest can ask, but the information is not supposed to be included with the invitation in any form.

I know that's entirely true for the actual wedding invitations, but I was under the impression that the bridal shower was an entirely different story, i.e. the only invitation that registry information could be mentioned on/with.

That's also been my impression. Showers are gift-giving occasions (that's their main purpose) so it's presumed that the guests might want this information. I don't think it matters whether it's on the invitation or a separate card.

Weddings technically are not gift-giving occasions, although of course the great majority of guests will give them. It's therefore not appropriate to provide registry information with the invitation.

I think showers are allowed to have registry info, and that it's not bcs of the gift-giving-ness of the occasion, but because the invitation is not being issued by the person who is getting the gifts.

The shower hostess can talk about presents all she wants.

I like the wording: "Need gift ideas? See their registry at BB&B for suggestions."

And I would say either. But the separate card, if you design it yourself, can be a business card that has their full names, the date, and the registry info. Then I could tuck it into my wallet to carry around when I go shopping. (You might even put the address for the party on one side of it.)

I also feel like the separate card makes it seem a little less like an order

I like the wording: "Need gift ideas? See their registry at BB&B for suggestions."

And I would say either. But the separate card, if you design it yourself, can be a business card that has their full names, the date, and the registry info. Then I could tuck it into my wallet to carry around when I go shopping. (You might even put the address for the party on one side of it.)

I also feel like the separate card makes it seem a little less like an order

Ooo, I like that wording as well! Wallet-sized is also a bonus, I know I'd prefer instead of trying to stand there and remember what the invitation on my fridge at home says.

Of course, I did have to shudder slightly at the registries. Yes, plural. To be fair, they haven't over-registered, they aren't asking for 15 different china patterns, and there is a lovely range of dollar amounts. My only slight gripe is that they registered at 4 different stores. Four!

That's not greedy, not really. All it means is that they found something at one store that they couldn't find at the others.

I can see me doing it. I register for china at the store that has the one pattern I like; it also has an online presence--great for out-of-towners. I register for towels and sheets at someplace basic like JCPenney or Sears (or, maybe there are towels at Pottery Barn that are EXACTLY the color I want). But the cookware I like is at its best price somewhere else, or they have the best arrangement of pans in a set. And I register for home-decor stuff at Pier 1, bcs that's my vibe.

I might also choose more than one store bcs people in NYC can't get to JCPenney easily--there is one, but it's a pain to get to for many people; they can get to Macy's. My suburban family would find JCP easier.

Helps you, really, in a way:

"If you need gift ideas, see their registries at X, Y, and Z. There's a wide range of suggestions to choose from."

You can add, "Call me if you need further ideas that aren't on their registries." But then everybody will bombard you, so maybe not.

but I like the "if you need" bcs it implies that you aren't expected to use the registry; I like "gift ideas," bcs that's all the registry is, it's not a shopping list or a direct request for you personally to buy any or all of that stuff.

They definitely varied it, it just made me stop in my tracks for a moment and worry that they were going gimme-pig on me. Nope; china from one, kitchen good from another, etc. Phew!

I like the "wide suggestions" wording, that's good and hopefully prevents anyone from having the same reaction I did. The added "call me if" is lovely as well. Of course, she's getting things from me that aren't on their registry at all; wall art and a bundle of stamped, addressed*, handmade thank you cards!

*addressed by either myself or my handy Epson printer, not the guests. Because, really, just no.

I vote for putting it on the invitation only because I tend to lose those little inserts. Everything on one piece of paper is just much easier to keep track of.

You didn't ask about this but I'm going to comment anyway. I think early May is too early to send out invitations for a late June event. Assuming June 25 or later, I wouldn't send out invitations before June 1. Usually three weeks is good, but I would say no more than four weeks at the outside. Too far in advance, people tend to wait to reply because it seems so far off and then end up forgetting about it or forgetting to reply.

They definitely varied it, it just made me stop in my tracks for a moment and worry that they were going gimme-pig on me. Nope; china from one, kitchen good from another, etc. Phew!

I like the "wide suggestions" wording, that's good and hopefully prevents anyone from having the same reaction I did. The added "call me if" is lovely as well. Of course, she's getting things from me that aren't on their registry at all; wall art and a bundle of stamped, addressed*, handmade thank you cards!

*addressed by either myself or my handy Epson printer, not the guests. Because, really, just no.

I kind of like TootsNYC's idea. I might think the same thing you started to, if I saw there were four different registries. But listing the general categories for each one would make me realize they were using them for different purposes. It's a gift-giving occasion, it's not hosted by the gift recipient, and I think the attitude can be, "Let's shower the HC with gifts that are really useful to them!" which the registries can help with (for specific items or just ideas). Sometimes an attempt at discretion can make it seem like there's something a bit awkward or uncouth that needs to be downplayed, and that doesn't seem to be the case here, so maybe think about embracing it instead.

For my BFF's shower we did separate cards because we didn't have room on the whole invitation. In less we made the print super tiny and well...we knew we were inviting some people with vision issues and didn't want them to have to struggle.

The cards said:

In case you're wonderingThe adorable couple did happen to registerTarget and BB&B

We wanted it to come off like "If you want to buy from here, that's cool, but if not, that is also cool", we didn't hear any complaints.

Remember about "didn't hear any complaints": The vast majority of people are not going to complain to you.

But I think it's fine for the *hostess* to include registry info.

(I didn't register, and I got directly complained to, actually, by several people--which perhaps refutes my earlier comment; but I do think that if someone had been offended that I -had- registered, they wouldn't have said -that-.)