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Should Puppy in Drunk Driving Ad Still Be Worried?

Don’t drink and drive. The people who sell the number one product leading to bad decisions don’t want you to. But don’t avoid it for them. Don’t avoid it for your boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, sister, brother, mom or dad. Don’t avoid it for your friends. Don’t even avoid it for your own life and all the great things you have yet to accomplish. Avoid it for a good looking guy’s fictional dog.

Budweiser really dropped a bomb on driving under the influence recently with an anti-drunk driving ad featuring an incredibly adorable puppy-turned-dog. Will this dog prevent people from endangering their lives and the lives of others on the road? Who knows, but if we spread it around on social media enough then we might all have the courage to ridicule anyone who even thinks about it. I’m happy to do my part. Anything for this cutie:

So we solved the drunk driving problem.

But now that I’m fully invested in this dog’s happiness, I’m concerned about something else entirely: Who is “Dave” and should the dog be worried about him?

At the end of the ad, the owner of Aware Bud (I have given the dog this name as we aren’t provided one in the ad. It’s a play on Air Bud, drunk driving awareness and the fact that Bud is owned by Anheuser Busch, otherwise known as “AB,” which is Aware Bud’s nickname given to him by Gary, the name I have made up for his owner who we think died in a senseless drunk driving accident, but was far too caring for such a mistake) says to him, “I decided I shouldn’t drive home last night. I stayed at Dave’s.”

You’re going to have to do better than that, Gary, if that’s even your real name (it almost certainly isn’t). This dog just went through an emotional roller coaster. Those wimpers have haunted my dreams since this commercial was first posted on my Facebook feed a few days ago. I’m indescribably relieved that AB’s owner isn’t dead, but I’m a little worried that this “Dave” character could be a problem. Here are a few possibilities:

1. Dave could be another dog.

Could Gary be cheating on AB? He’s clearly the type of guy that talks to his dog like it’s a human, is it that farfetched that he talks about dogs like they are humans?

Look, we’ve all seen this story before. Good lucking guy finds the perfect partner and they get together in the early days. In the beginning it’s all fun and games: early morning snuggle sessions in bed and trips to the lake. Over time things begin to get repetitive and mundane. He doesn’t look at his partner the same way anymore. He develops a wandering eye. He is constantly grabbing six-packs of beer and mysteriously staying out late while his partner remains at home, worried.

2. Dave could be a human he is romantically involved with.

This in itself isn’t a bad thing. In fact, it could be great. Maybe Gary and Dave are truly in love. Perhaps the three of them will form one happy family with incredible Christmas cards.

BUT why are they always staying at Dave’s place? Maybe Gary just isn’t ready to tell AB about Dave and he will when the time is right. This is a delicate matter, he has to be sure first.

OR maybe Dave is allergic to dogs. Then we have a real problem. I’m all for love and romance, but Dave, if you tear these two apart, with God as my witness, I will send so many twenty-something female Facebook users in the direction of your profile so fast your head will spin.

3. Dave could be a cat.

Jesus Christ, Gary.

4. Dave could be one of these guys:

Budweiser has sold us cuteness before. They showed us an adorable dog befriending a clydesdale and reuniting them in a touching moment in between Doritos and Go Daddy Super Bowl commercials. The two animals had nothing to do with beer, but we all bought Bud Lights anyway.

This commercial has about as much to do with drunk driving. It’s a story of a guy who didn’t drink and drive and his dog who really loves him. It’s a commercial for Budweiser as much as it’s an anti-drunk driving commercial. You’re much more likely to think about that little pup when you’re in the beer aisle than when you’re slurring your words and trying to unlock your car.

I’m glad that Budweiser used their powers of cuteness for good, but ultimately advertising is effective with simple cases of association. The association with that dog is the Budweiser logo. That’s what will stick.

Even if adorable #friends aren’t #waiting, don’t drink and drive. You could die. Or kill someone else. If that’s not a good enough reason, then just do it for them: