Fork in the Road: Beauty’s not the only thing in the eye of the beholder

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The cynic in me has an easy sassy reply to
the question we’ll be mulling over this
month: “What is power?” Between Chanel
No. 5 ad campaigns and the lyrics to a rather
catchy AC/DC tune, at least according to the
North American sensibility, having power is
equated to possessing two things in life:
beauty (well, sexually titillating looks, I
should say, which may or may not be “beautiful,”
but that’s a whole other topic of discussion!)
and... money. This clearly shows
you where our priorities lie, especially
because with the latter you can buy more of
the former, should you feel so inclined.

The sociologist in me, however, sees
things VERY differently, acknowledging
that like knowledge, what defines power is
also bound to cultural, generational, gender
and socioeconomic factors. Even within the
same era and similar terrain, one group’s
conception of how to acquire power and
what it represents could be vastly different
from another’s. For example, among tribal
societies, some leaders are elected based on
their viciousness and kill records, while in
other groups power is asserted to those who
are best able to maintain peace and equality.

From a physiological stance, power equals
strength: the ability to lift heavy weights or
run long distances. Psychologically speaking,
power comes down to recognizing one’s
personal agency, taking charge of one’s
life/responsibilities and accepting one’s
character in its entirety – soup to nuts –
through the practise of introspection.

If you look up the definition of “power” in
a dictionary, a common analysis of the word
states: “it’s the capacity to compel others.”

This brings me to an interesting conversation
I had with a dear friend of mine just the
other day. Like me, my friend is extremely
outspoken, opinionated and
unabashedly/unapologetically herself irrespective
of the situation. She is who she is.
She knows her strengths. She knows her
weaknesses. You either “get” her or you
don’t, and if you don’t, her attitude is that
it’s YOUR loss.

Unsurprisingly (and also like me), my
friend tends to get herself into trouble, given
her disposition, as she’s strongly opposed to
the concept of “changing with the tide” to
get along in social circumstances as she feels
doing so is being disingenuous to herself.

Throughout our conversation, my friend
further expressed to me her extreme distaste
for those who are seemingly people-pleasing
chameleons able to alter their views, attitudes
and self-expression to match the
atmosphere of any given setting.

She then noted that although she and I
have highly similar personalities (i.e. she’s
basically me on steroids), something she
admires about me is my ability to be “graceful”
in social circumstances wherein clearly
our personality type/views are in the minority.

After making it clear my ass is only saved
half the time because there are some things I
just can’t keep my mouth shut about, I
explained to her (wait for it…) MY definition
of power. Beyond simply being able to
“compel others,” having power allows you
to decide if and when you will or will NOT
compel others. In other words, having the
“grace” to know if and when my strong personality
will be accepted puts me in the
dominant position, not the other way
around!

I DECIDE how much of myself I will give
to others. I DECIDE if the situation calls for
my opinion or views. I DECIDE if the
atmosphere will be receptive to my feelings.
Therefore, I DECIDE how I am perceived.
That is power – perhaps the most important
power to possess: power over oneself also
known as self-discipline, combined with the
ability to analyze situations objectively.

Put more simply, Lesson #3 of this series:
not everyone nor every circumstance
deserves (or can handle) you firing at mach
speed. As my mom would say, “Don’t toss
pearls before swine.”

Interrobang

The Interrobang is published weekly by the Fanshawe Student Union at 1001 Fanshawe College Blvd in London, Ontario and distributed throughout the Fanshawe College community.