Broken Wings

This is both Wednesday’s and Friday’s comic together since I was getting too late on posting the former. Panel 5 is actually one month of my trashed calendar idea I was talking about. It was basically a pinup calendar, but with selfies. So, maybe someday, but not as soon as 2016. :D

This story, like all the stories so far, stem from some real life event. I typically take said events, 2 dashes of exaggeration, and 5 gallons of artistic licence, and make a series of comics with them. Several years ago I had a female friend use a dating site. So she set up a page, and within less than 2 days, this was her inbox. She shared this screencap with me.

Now there is no way any human with a life can possibly keep up with this much correspondence. Like most of these sites, you have to pay something to ACTUALLY communicate with someone, and out of pure curiosity, she did one of their trials, then responded to a few emails. Each response she sent branched into 2-5 immediate replies back, minimum. Some replied back continuously until she ended her membership, whether she continued the conversation or not. In short, almost every guy she tried talking to had some mini excitement meltdown and emailed her multiple responses to her singular email to them. If she emailed them back again, the same reaction occurred. Like “You know what, don’t even answer me, I’ll keep this convo going for the both of us.” That’s her sentiment at least.

My friend’s in her mid-twenties, and a plethora of those “most insistent” were pushing 50. Not most, but many. If I remember right, her stay at this site was 3 months, and her take away from the experience was: “being completely overwhelmed.” So after alot of discussion with her, some other friends about their own dating experiences using these services, and some research on datebait (which some sites have been accused of) I came up with this story.

So if you’re a guy, and you’ve ever used one of these sites, and maybe never got much feedback from women, (or maybe any)… it might not be YOU. Your site may be miserably one-sided.

Hits and notifications before she’s even “online”. Some pretty desperate people…or bots….lots and lots of bots!!! And that is an awesome selfie she has there. Pretty much “Wallpaper” stuff, if you ask me.

She said she wouldn’t date anyone over 30. She didn’t say her profile couldn’t say over 38. Her account is a scam. Saying to 38 keeps those in that age range on the site, even if they’ll never get a date with her.

I remember trying OkCupid a few years ago. I figured I’d try a free one and get the idea before paying any money.

Happily I did get the idea before paying any money and have chosen not to do so.

If some of their data analysis posts are to be believed (and in general I figured at least some of each is probably valid), the problem on their site was less than 5% of the users received over 90% of the messages sent on the site. Unsurprisingly, those 5% didn’t tend to have good response rates. I also found the number of “Don’t send me messages asking for sex, the answer is no, that’s why I didn’t select looking for casual sex above” inclusions in women’s profiles was kinda’ disturbing. I figured that probably reduces the number of women, too.

I didn’t know the definition when I read it, but recognized the name from my favorite Mozart song, Requiem Aeternum, Kyrie Eleison, and decided to look it up. I’m surprised that I haven’t heard of it outside of that reference though, because I’ve spent a lot of time in the Christian community. Although, I suppose the chants and prayers that Jews have used for centuries are a tradition that’s fallen out of practice with the American church.
I tip my hat to Rusche for unintentionally teaching me a bit of culture today.

In the tradition I belong to (Reformed Church in America, aka Dutch Reformed), the Kyrie Eleison is listed in the church service, but what is actually sung is the English translation: “Lord, have mercy upon us. Christ, have mercy upon us. Lord, have mercy upon us.”

“Kyrie eleison”was also the batlecry used by the Angel Host in the Salvation War, you know the story where comtemporary human fought wars against the foces of Heavan and Hell ( using tanks jet fighters and nukes).

It does appear to be coming from a social media site with the blue bar at the top, her avatar in upper right, and the other avatars in the lower right (starting with Ginger). I suppose it could be a cached version.

I’m Old (hint, married for longer than your friend has been alive) and old school. I don’t understand why people can’t meet others the old fashion way. Hang out with friends from school or work. Go to the club/bar and meet someone. Hell, stalk someone at the grocery store. No, people have to go online and lie about themselves and then wonder why they can’t get a date with anyone. It just boggles the mind. Just my thoughts…that is all.

1: Not everyone is an extrovert. Introverts need love too.
2: These days, everyone is entranced by their phone or iPod.
3: Lots of folks prefer doing things online now as it casts a wider net (no pun intended).
4: ‘Stalking’ someone is a good way to end up in trouble with the law and/or HR.

Not all of us LIKE clubs and bars. And frankly they make for really crappy places to find a nice relationship most of the time…good for flings but not the serious stuff. Maybe it’s because I’m a girl but the only people who I’ve met at bars have been really, really creepy :/

Lots of people move way outside of their home range for jobs and may not have friends around to ‘find someone’ through.

I went to a tech school with a 10:1 male:female population. Meeting people ‘through friends’ doesn’t really work when there’s one girl who is usually tired of wandering eyes anyway.

Also, it’s important to note that ‘back in the day’, it was NOT uncommon for married folks to have dissimilar hobbies or even no hobbies in common at all. My parents, quite frankly, don’t really DO anything together, and nor do most of my friend’s parents. They see the occasional movie, go out to dinner, and take vacations, but none of them really share interests. That doesn’t mean they’re unhappy! They just do most hobbies totally separately.

In my experience, it’s a vastly different world now. These days, a lot of young people like to have a LOT of hobbies in common with their partner, or at least 1-2 really big ones. People I know tend to dedicate a good portion of their life to ‘something’, be it sports, gaming, costuming, crafting, or anything else. Frankly, I could NEVER date someone who wasn’t a gamer. He could be nice as an angel but if he doesn’t understand the difference between DPS and HPS I’m not sure I could live with the guy for too long. Gaming is a huge part of my life (I went to Riot Games HQ twice, received a letter of commendation from one of the CEOs, used to run LAN parties, etc) and if he isn’t a part of that, he can’t be a part of my life. If I was in a relationship like my parent’s, I couldn’t be happy that way. Mom shows supportive interest in my dad’s bowling and photography hobbies, but doesn’t really partake; my mom’s hobbies are likewise things that dad will never turn his nose down to, but also doesn’t participate in. They encourage one another, but neither is really as dedicated to the other’s hobbies. I couldn’t live that way, and a lot of my friends are very similar. So you need to find people who specifically share your interests, which in many cases is unlikely to be some passing man or woman in a bar or the grocery store.

I turn my nose up at DPS, for me it’s all about taking one for the team. When I had time for MMO’s I typically had the league hall trophy for having taken the most damage during the cycle. Tanks for life yo (but I do have all kind of respect for the HPS)

HPS is Heals per Second. Your priests and other support classes. Usually low health, low damage, but they keep people alive.

Your tank (with his high health pool and low damage, often a warrior type) will have a subset of skills that allows him to keep the enemy on him, so it doesn’t attack the low health (“squishy “) targets on his team. The healer needs a high HPS has to keep him alive. Having the tank take all the damage means that the DPS gets to spend more time outputting said damage, and less time fleeing from stray enemies.

Definitely agree about bars being less-than-ideal for relationship-finding, and Amen to wanting a romantic partner who shares similar interests. I think geek culture being more mainstream and comics/video games, etc. no longer being dismissed as “kids stuff” has been a huge driver of this.

As far as dating sites, I can tell you I that eHarmony about drove me into depression. No replies and I swear there was not a single glimmer of geekiness on ANY of the women’s profiles there. Thankfully, OKcupid actually did have a good number of geek and gamer girls (they’re undeniable); but Geek2Geek..? Oof… Maybe it’s gotten better in the past 3 years but when I last used G2G it seemed like the only women in a 200-mile radius of me who had some notion of personal grooming were either self-professed addicts/alcoholics or women who only wanted sugar daddies so they could sit at home and game 24×7. :-(

IME it’s generally so easy for gamer girls to get gamer guys, that anyone that ‘has’ to turn to a dating site really makes me wonder wtf is wrong with them…

eHarmony seems to have this opinion that if you weren’t basically generic then they didn’t want you on their site, because they don’t think they could find you a match and it’d hurt their numbers. I don’t know ANYONE who’s gotten past the free surveys, and I know plenty who have tried.

I understand your point of view. And you bring up some really good points. Your parents sound like me and my wife. She likes doing her crafting and yard work while I like playing on the computer and doing audio/video stuff. We don’t mix our hobbies. Also, our likes in music are 180 out from each other…she’s Country, I’m Metal. I’m a gamer, she’s not…(casual gamer maybe).
Now our kids are kinda like us, but not. The twins each found a husband while they were in college. One has the same hobbies and interests as her husband while the other one doesn’t. Both do share at least one thing they like doing but that’s about it. The 3rd child is still single and lives in her own little world where the sky is definitely not blue. All 3 are gamer girls so they got that from me. They all like Metal but they still listen to country or whatever strikes their fancy.
What I’m getting at is there are all kinds of people in this world and what works for one doesn’t always work for another. Me, I was a selfish person who didn’t want to share my stuff. I was the outsider. I played D&D, read comics, listened to loud obnoxious music (made children cry) and was a hard core gamer (for my time). My wife wasn’t. She was the total opposite of me yet we complimented each other in some many ways. The biggest thing was she helped me learn to share…sorta. I still do all the things I used to do, just not as much, and I’ve learned how to help her with her hobbies…begrudgingly. We are going on 29 years so we have done something right. Plus she even let me build my Man Cave for all my crap. I guess the term Opposites Attract describes our relationship to a T. Oh, and we met at a McDs so many years ago. So, it does happen.

I have to agree with (what I think) is your underlying sentiment; you have to go out and meet people.

I’ve tried the online dating thing but, as an average (well shit, I think I’m attractive, but let’s aim low to be safe) guy with a job, a vehicle, goals, and shit that keeps me occupied (hobbies), I may well be a well-rounded person but NONE of that makes me stand out in a crowd. None of my personality comes out in writing, or in an online profile.

Instead, I’m stuck wondering why “shirtlessguy12314” manages to actually get responses continually, or why someone who is a 98% match just isn’t interested.

Meanwhile, in real life, I meet people who are attractive who (to my great surprise) find me interesting or attractive, and though we may not have a dozen hobbies in common, for whatever reason we make each other laugh and find each other attractive. And honestly, that’s all I’ve needed to ever get a relationship going. All of my actual relationships have started by initiating a conversation in real life with a stranger. In a store, at school, and yes (once) in a bar.

Online dating is, to my chagrin, a tool for women more-so than a tool for men. Which means that for me at least it’s pretty useless compared to just talking face-to-face to a real person.

Some people do still meet in the old fashion ways, others don’t. A lot get demoralized of one and try the other and for a few it works but for a lot it’s just as demoralizing.

It’s really just another way to make the attempt. Also an easy to use and hard to verify excuse if you want to tell other people (or yourself, for that matter) that you’re putting more effort into dating than you actually are.

I’m sure there are success stories behind internet dating, and those that like it/perhaps need it to connect should continue using it, but I’ve got to side with you, Gnatevil. For me, I didn’t date find any marriage material women until I got fed up with internet dating, got out of my comfort zone shell, got involved in group activities, and started interacting with people face to face. Once I got pretty good at it, things finally started happening. Good old fashion going out and meeting people all the way.

There’s also three times the amount of conventions now. I know about 30 or so couples who met at conventions. Back in the day (I have a feeling I’m almost in the same age zone as Gnatevil), I remember there were three conventions for geeks. Comic Con in New York, Origins and GenCon. SDCC hadn’t really taken off yet, and most local conventions were tiny things tucked away on some college campus that didn’t advertise openly. Now, you have so many choices in conventions that you can literally pick a con to fit your interests and find someone of similar interests there. Where I live, I can drive to nine of the bigger ones.

I actually met my wife on a slightly different kind of dating website, http://www.adoptaguy.com. It’s no longer available here in the States, but when it was, we made a connection. That is to say, she added me to her cart, and I was then able to message her. It was hilarious, but resulted in some real connections between us!

There’s a difference between putting cameras in her apartment and swiping and repurposing pictures she’d previously posted online. There are stories of that happening without people’s permission all the time. At most, that’s unethical and very bad publicity, but I don’t think it’d actually be illegal.

Well… at least she hasn’t signed a contract yet, though you would think Night would have arranged that before having Merrick override all the gooey “personality and kindness” BS with his shallow and inconsiderate (to Ellie’s demands) dating profile. If she’s smart, she’ll walk away and never respond to anything stemming from E-symmetry… But Rusche has been setting this up for too long to let her off the hook that easily. Hijinks will ensue. :3

You could always forgo everything else and just draw piles of boobs with speech bubbles. I can’t say I think it’d be very interesting, but that’s going to be pretty close to maximizing your boob content if that’s your goal.

For the past few comics here, it’s was established years ago that Ellie considers her cleavage as part of her interview strategy (see comic There is no Plan B current post date 13 Nov 2013). The first part of the comic before she got kicked out of Casa Buckingham showed her trying to compete on posting sexy photos on social media. As for Merrick’s choices on picture and cropping, I don’t think that really comes as a surprise to anyone (possibly not even much of a surprise to Ellie).

>_> ya I’m still seeing what all the one I’m using tosses my way at most I just toss out a smile and see if they go from there or not so far………………………well its to the point the tv ads make my laugh at lest.