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Friday, September 16, 2011

A Change is Gonna Come

Gail Sheehy said "If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we aren't really living."

Well, I am all for "really living."

Well, okay - so I tend to exaggerate. This kind of "really living" is too much living for me, I'm afraid. I'm basically a weenie. That is not me riding that wave just in case you were wondering. Pfft.

Each of us have, I think, spent some period of time just existing, and those of us who are lucky enough to finally discover the difference between just existing and really living are the lucky ones. But even then, it's pretty easy to allow ourselves to fall into a rut and "just live" as opposed to "really live." There's a huge difference. And that difference can help you find joy in life or you can just mark off the days till you're surprised to learn there aren't that many days left.

(Today's my day for quotes; here's another favorite: "We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same." ~ Carlos Castaneda)

But - enough philosophy for now. We'll do lots of that in the future. We can have a virtual pajama party and pretend we're back in our earlier years with a bunch of friends drinking bad chianti just to be able to drip candles down those cool bottles while pondering "Life" (with a capital "L"). Speaking of which - have any of you read Keith Richards' LIFE? I loved it.

Anyhooooo . . . .

This little piece of scribbling is just to let you all know Meanderings and Muses is going to go through a little bit of change next year. Nothing drastic. We're still going to have guest bloggers, just not as many.

If you've been following Meanderings and Muses for awhile, you've probably seen the occasional comment from my friend Hank Phillippi Ryan when she says to me, "remember when you worried that no one would come?!"

(wish i had thought to put on some lipstick here! dang. Hank, remind me next time, ok??!)

And she's right - I did. Worried and fretted. But, I should have known better. (Psst! Did you hear?! Hank has a new series coming out next year - Yay!!!! I "borrowed" this from her webpage: "THE OTHER WOMAN, the first in Hank's new series, will be published next year by FORGE Books. Sequel in 2013.A Boston reporter on the trail of an ex-governor's secret mistress...a Boston cop on the trail of a suspected serial killer. What happens when they realize they might be hunting the same person? As one character says: "You can chose your sin, but you cannot chose your consequences."'Can't wait!!

The mystery community is every bit as generous as I've said here and all over the interwebs oh so many times. And almost every single person I invited from that community to come play and share a little about themselves said yes.

They've written about their writing, and shared photos of where they write. They shared photos of their pets. They've shared personal stories that have made us laugh out loud, and some have shared some stories that made us cry. They've made us think.

And, if there's one thing I am so proud of I can hardly stand it, it's that we've introduced writers and readers who may not have discovered one another without the loveliness that is Meanderings and Muses. I wish I had kept every email I received from every reader telling me thanks for that. We're going to continue doing a lot of that, but for at least this upcoming year I'm going to scale back.

Instead of the three guests a week that we've had most weeks this year, we're going to only have one guest a week. Or, at least I hope we are! I haven't sent out invitations yet. Who knows, everyone might be sick to death of us and turn me down flat. Lord - pray that isn't so, y'all!

After wondering how I could possibly choose a small group of people from the very large group of people who have been gracious enough to take the time to participate in the past is a tough one. Very tough, to say the least.

So, the only fair way would be to draw some names out of The Magic Willie Nelson Baseball Cap.

But, frankly, I don't really want to do that for all the names I'd like to see on next year's schedule. There are some folks I very much would like to have back, so I'm first going to choose names of a few people I feel especially close to - readers and writers. And a few writers who always manage to ring my "Fan Girl" bell.

Like this guy! Lee Child! Yeah, he'll be here! (Well, okay, so that was lie. He's probably not gonna show up here, but a girl can dream, can't she?)

Sigh.otay - back to business . . . .

Then I'm going to separate the remaining writers from the remaining readers and draw names from those two groups so we still end up with a nice mix of both.

All this to say - if you have ever participated as a guest blogger with Meanderings and Muses, please don't feel as though you have been purposely over-looked if you don't receive an invite. That's just simply not the case. Not at all. And - who knows, the next year we may go back to the three guests a week format IF you're all willing.

But let's try this in the upcoming year.

And, just why are we making the change?

Well, I thought you'd never ask!

Simply stated, as much as I love having all the guests we've had, and as much as I have sincerely loved every single blog contributed, it's just taking up more of my time than I want to give again next year. Most of you live in the real world of high speed technology, so you probably can't even begin to understand trying to do this over dial-up. Sometimes I'm able to take a nap while some photos are uploading. 'Course, on the up-side - I'm able to get quite a bit of reading done while all the uploading is going on. (With my fingers crossed that all goes well).

And there's a whole world of things I'm itching to do.

(But, not this)

I want to do a little more blogging of my own, for starters. There's still lots and lots to talk about, after all - Books to share. New authors to discover. Recipes to share. Things to rant about. Things to giggle out loud about. Memories and stories to share.

I want to doJulia Cameron'sTHE ARTISTS'S WAY on-line workshop. (Any of you done this??)

I have a new Canon G12 camera that I still don't know how to use other than just "point and shoot." And once I've learned all the features on it (and re-learned the ones Jill already tried to teach me), I'd like to take a photography class.

I took a mixed media collage class and would like to spend a little time doing more collages (and hopefully I can come up with something a little better than this which was my very first in-class attempt). What can I say, it may not be great, but I had a great time doing it.

I have a wonderful piece of needlepoint I'd like to finish. (I'm a little embarrassed about how many years this piece has been in my "To Be Stitched" stack!)

A delightful little piece of counted cross stitch that may dry rot if I don't finish it soon.

A scarf I'd like to finish knitting.

And I want to continue going to The Gym most days.

My "To Be Read" stack has grown since I retired rather than diminished (especially that stack on my iPad).

Okay, I admit it - I've just told you another little lie. Those books you see above are not part of my TBR stack, but probably will be re-read at some point, if they haven't already. I didn't post a picture of the "To Be Read" stack 'cause there were so many dust bunnies.

And, finally, who knows, I may try my hand at some fiction . . . .

I have a couple of muses who are nudging me in that direction.

I don't believe you've met Mudd. Mudd is a "Muse" who has gotten a little overly assertive from time to time. That's how he lost those fingers. heh heh heh. Mudd was a gift from one of my dearest friends ever, Michael, who is no longer with us. It's a story I want to share at some point, but it's still hard for me to talk about - and to think about.

But, you have met SissyFriss SockMoney and LouLou Skiptoo. Two more "Muses." The girls are a mess, what can I say. We'll be hearing more from them next year, for sure. They have had some serious adventures I think you'll enjoy hearing about.

In the meantime, I'm planning on continuing my scribblings here at Meanderings and Muses. I hope you'll drop by and join in the conversations, the meanderings and the muses.

( Want . . . )

I also want more time to spend with my mom.

And I want to spend more time with Donald and Harley.

I want to take more walks with them. There's always something new and magical to be found around here, and they are usually the ones to lead me right into the middle of it. I love that! I'm a big fan of magic. Sometimes we have to seek it out, but it's there for the finding.

There's a world of new things I want to try. If I hate doing them, so be it, at least I'll feel as though I gave it a whirl.

So, that's my news.

Pretty soon, some of you will be receiving your invitation to come back and do another piece next year, and I hope you'll find it in your heart (and the time in your schedule) to say yes. Probably I'll do that this weekend.CORRECTION: Why on earth would I send out invitations THIS weekend when so many people from the mystery community are kicking up their heels in St. Louis at Bouchercon?! Oy! I just wasn't thinking clearly, was I? (obviously not). So. The new plan is that I'll send them out on Thursday, 9/22/2011, along with a schedule, so those who are interested can get back with me with the date they'd like. The sooner the better, since we're only doing about 50 (possibly less) dates. And since our writers have deadlines and book launches to consider, I'll send those invites out first. And then maybe send the reader invites out the next day. I'll post next year's schedule as soon as it's complete.

And repeating myself, those of you who have participated in the past but who might not receive an invite for next year - I hope you'll find it in your heart to understand and not misinterpret it for anything more than what it is.

And those of you who stop by to see who's here and what they have to say - I hope you'll continue dropping by and enjoying what you find.

As you know, I truly love Meanderings and Muses and I am very proud of it. But I'm a teeny bit burned out, I guess. And if I can't give it my best efforts, it's time to make some changes. I hope you agree.

I thought you were going to say you were stopping altogether!! Relieved you're not, and think it's wonderful that you are taking some of your time back for things you really want to do. It's important to do that. Can't wait to see some of your photos!

Kaye, you've always had wonderful posts (with and without special guests) so whatever you decide will be great. Just as long as you decide to continue blogging that is. You did have me a little worried that you were going to stop for awhile. So very glad you're not.

I think it's a great idea to change it up once in a while, Kaye. I find one regular weekly guest and an occasional second guest works fine for me because I do like writing about other stuff and taking the weekends off.

And when we have all these other interests, we need to make time to indulge in them. BTW, my TBR stacks have become whole bookcases full and overflowing. It's an addiction of the most delightful kind.

I'm so excited to see what you're going to grow up to be in the next 20-30 years. You're one of my role models, Kaye. Of course, my own mother is my primary one. And, I'm looking forward to your rants. You know how much I usually agree with them.

Kaye, good for you! Life is too short to spend it burning out. I'm so glad you'll be taking some time for yourself and your family and friends...the fact that you'll still be continuing the blog at all is a bonus for the rest of us. Take care and have a fantastic 2013!

Kaye Alan, I am thrilled to see your UFOs (UnFinished Objects). The sight of them all beautifully laid out waiting for your caring fingers to nurture them to life is so rewarding to me. Since I am the queen of UFOs, I truly appreciate putting them down only to pick them up again with renewed excitement. I'm excited about the 'new' M&M. It promises to bring to print the things I too cherish -- the joy of magic, the recipes, the exploring of new things, the overall experience of finding and relishing the gifts life bestowes upon us. I think it takes an open mind and an open heart to accept these gifts and an incredible friend to share them with others. Kaye - girlfriend - that would be YOU!Love ya muches,Nitney

PS If I should be in your mystery, please make me the 'tart' with an incredible body, long skinny legs, flat tummy and smart as hell! aahh

Whew! What a RELIEF! I thought this was going to be your farewell post. I may not comment much, but I am an avid reader of your blog. Change is good, I think. And personally, I'd like to see some of those projects of yours completed -- the cross stitch of those ladies looks so cute (work on that first). Anyway, change is what keeps us fresh, alert, and motivated. I'll be looking forward to something new. Just glad it is something!

I've also learned that during seven decades plus of life as a grain of sand on the beach, one can meet thousands of people. Many become accquaintances. But only a few become a friend. Thank you for being one of the few."Bonus fortuna" in 2012 with all you want from life.

Kaye, like everyone else, I'm so glad to hear you're not giving up on Meanderings and Muses. You had me worried there for a while! :) I can totally understand your desire to back off a bit and do some of the other things that give you pleasure in life. Never feel like you have to apologize for your decision. You've done more to bring together readers and writers than anyone else I know of in the mystery community. Be proud of your accomplishments and confident of the good wishes of your many online friends. Relax and enjoy life, Kaye! Best wishes always --

Jill, Hey!!! OH OH OH, let's do take a field trip. Todd, over Snake Mountain to Creston . . . and maybe we can still make it to Seagrove before winter hits. and I would LOVE some more tutorials, please!

Meredith, hey there girl! Thank you! Looking forward to seeing you at Malice in April!

Billie - Thank you!! And hearing this from you means a great deal to me. You know you're going to be subjected to more and more photos as I get more and more into it. I'll be pleased if you have the time to share your professional photo opinions with me.

oh, Pat. You made me cry (in a good way!). You are one of the VERY best storytellers/writers I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. You, my friend, are such an inspiration to me, and have been for a long time.

Mason, Thank You! And I hope also by cutting back a little I'll gain back some time to start visiting my favorite blogs again. I've missed my visits with you! I discovered some very good authors at your site and will be forever grateful. (Carolyn Brown pops immediately to mind! LOVE those cowboys!)

Patricia - I think you're right. It took me a long time to decide to do this, but I think it's the right thing. (Funny how retirement has our TBR stacks growing, huh?! What's with that?! LOL!)

Lesa! Sweetie - you ALWAYS say the nicest things and have always been one of my most supportive friends. Even when I've made a total fool of myself walking around the mystery community with my foot in my mouth. thank you. (WHEN do I get to meet your mom?!)

Pattie - Thank You! Just getting those projects out today helped get me motivated to finish, and yes! the women is first on the list!! I'll keep you posted.

Bo - Thank you my friend. and I hope you know the feeling is mutual (and dang, you made me cry too!).

Oh, Mary - you too! YOU made me cry too. My poor laptop is gonna die on me tonight from all these tears. You are one of blessings of this community and I am so glad to call you friend. (but hate that you won't be at Malice! Teasing!!!! all these lovely things you're having done will make it all worth missing one con).

Go go go Kaye! Yes, you are retired. Yes, you should be doing all that fun stuff -- especially the walks with Donald and Harley. And I look forward to reading your mysteries. Can I be a beta reader, please?

I share your philosophy, Kaye, and cutting back to one guest a week is reasonable. What I wonder is how you managed three a week to begin with. I have blogged on my own site twice - yes, that is twice as in 2 times - in the last six months. And my TBR list is as deep and dusty as yours. So since I couldn't very well cut back on my blog activities (there being almost nothing to cut), I gave up teaching as an adjunct in the honors program. It is amazing how much time one course consumes. I will miss it, but giving it up was made easier by the fact that my daughter was selected as my replacement. A win/win - I get more time to really live life and the honors program gets a better teacher.

Why on earth would I send out invitations THIS weekend when so many people from the mystery community are kicking up their heels in St. Louis at Bouchercon?! Oy! I just wasn't thinking clearly, was I? (obviously not). So. The new plan is that I'll send them out on Thursday, 9/22/2011, along with a schedule, so those who are interested can get back with me with the date they'd like. The sooner the better, since we're only doing about 50 (possibly less) dates. And since our writers have deadlines and book launches to consider, I'll send those invites out first. And then maybe send the read invites out the next day I'll post next year's schedule as soon as it's complete.

Kaye, this is such a wise idea--must evaluate how we're spending our time so we don't regret it! I'm just glad I got my name on the schedule:).

I said to my own dear hub just yesterday--just think of what I could be doing if I wasn't spending hours and hours of every day trying to write and surfing the web! Not ready to change that yet, but I think it's good to keep asking the question.

Kaye, I love--positively love--this plan of yours. I can't wait to read original pieces of yours--and if you wrote a book! Oh my. You probably have trusty readers coming out of your ears, but if you ever need another first reader (or last) please know that I'm here.

I'm glad you won't be going up any avalanche-prone mountains, but I think that collage is lovely. What a sunny piece of hope you captured for this next stage of yours.

Mike! What great news! Yay!!!!!!You know, I know you're going to miss the teaching, but man oh man - you need more time to give us some more great Hubie books! For Real! (AND blogs - let's not forget those pesky blogs!). And I think your daughter must be pretty proud to step into your shoes - almost as proud as you are. And she already has a built in substitute when she wants to take a vacation! Thanks for stopping by (I think I still owe you an email. Just wait till you find out how easily your days can get filled once you're fully retired).

surgrYou have an ambitious agenda, Kaye, and it all sounds wonderfully positive. Go for it! I've found the exercises is The Artist's Way very interesting, although I haven't done them in a workshop. But see what you think.

Jenny Milchman - what would we do without you?! Seriously! You have become the SUCH huge and integral part of this community. You spend so much of your time being there for all of us, along with being the perfect nurturing, fun spouse and mommy, I don't know how you manage to write! But I'm awfully glad you do; and it will just be one more way you enrich our lives and I thank you.

Lillian - Hi! Thanks for dropping by. I keep trying to the "The Artist's Way" but keep getting pulled out of it by "life." I'm thinking (hoping) the workshop will give me the structure I need to make it work. I'll keep you posted!

Way to do retirement, Kaye. What a woman. Your ambitions are not unlike mine, except that I seem to have dropped the gym part and three-quarters of the craft projects, and I've probably taken all the classes I'm ever going to take. Party on!

I can't believe all that you've done - and on dial-up! Yikes! Amazed you're willing to continue even partially.

I see relate to both the renewed purpose and the unfinished items, although in my case they're mostly writing projects that have been started and left unfinished. On the other hand, my house could sure use some paint, etc. It's been totally neglected. Ah well... Priorities.

Rethinking mine these days, too.

I wish you all the best. What you've done has been good and well worth the doing, and I'm sure what you choose to do in the future will be too.

You don't need lipstick to be gorjus, Kaye Barley. You are beautiful just as you are. However many authors you put on, or don't, I will read you faithfully and admire you from across the country, for you are a tonic to us readers and authors who see the reading world shrinking ever smaller. Thank you for doing what you do, and can't wait to see you at a future conference! Hugs and giggles from a big fan, me!

Good for you, Kaye! You're allowed to make changes and enjoy your life. Of course, I hope I'll make the cut - but if not, I'll still enjoy reading your blog... and I'll know you're out there reading, writing, and just plain having fun with those you love!

Kate - Hi! thanks for dropping by! Surprisingly, the gym is the thing I seem to be enjoying most. Good thing, since I have "spread" a bit since retiring! ugh!!!

Victoria, hi there! Those shelves are just a teeny little bit of the clutter that is "home." too much, and some things need to go . . . . (we like to call ourselves "collectors" rather than "hoarders." Pfft!)

I also love this book by Gillian/Judy, and it is especially special to me 'cause it was a gift to me from her. She is a doll, and I love her to bits!

NJ - hey there! We need to figure out a way to add a few hours to our day, don't we?! Now why did you have to go and mention paint?! We had grand ideas about painting our downstairs several months ago. So far, only the guest bathroom has seen any activity. big sigh. Always something, isn't it?!

As usual, I am late to the party, but I heartily commend the changes you propose to M & M for 2012. I look forward to seeing more of your own pieces (art, photos, words, whatever) because I enjoy your distinctive voice and your enthusiasm for life, both virtual and real world. I only wish you had as much influence on my joining a gym as you have had on my reading since I too have found retirement a "broadening" experience.

Kaye, I have to get a slate (very heavy) regulation size pool table out of my living/dining room before I can do anything like painting. I think the plan is now to put it in our third floor loft, which involves moving book cases around.

Let's just say this is the first domino that has to fall before we can finally paint our ten-year-old house which still has builders paint in every room except my office, which I got desperate and painted a few years back.

It means hiring people who know how to do it, hoping it doesn't come through the ceiling, etc. etc.

Nothing is simple. My rule is that everything needs 10 times more time and energy than you think it will, so you'd better allow that up front if you can. Sounds like you're thinking that way too. :)

NJ - If I had to deal with moving a pool table, I'd probably just let all those dominoes stay in place. LOL!

Donald has a big foosball table and we have an old original Pinball Wizard pinball table which I love to pieces, but they're kept in what is referred to as our "storage building." Which is, in fact, storage, lockshop, house of games (see above) and woodworking shop. I rarely enter that building . . . .

Now, let's talk about this gym thing. I'd recommend a Curves. Is there one near you? That's what I started with after NEVER exercising. Never ever. hated it. But fell in love with Curves and then just fell in love with exercising. I'm still pretty stunned by it all, truthfully.

Okay, when are we getting together so I can teach you to Zentangle, my friend? I know you don't need another "hobby," but I've done the Artist's Way--actually attended a seminar on it in the UK--and this fits very neatly into the idea of centering your thoughts! LMK! Meanwhile, thank you for the generosity you've shown so many of us, and for the amazing way you've shared your time and interests with all of us. Much affection--

IT'S ALL RELATIVE

WOMEN'S SPACES WOMEN'S PLACES

CLOTHES LINES from 75 Western North Carolina Women Writers

CLOTHES LINES from 75 Western North Carolina Women Writers

I'm a lover of words and a lover of images.

The photos you see in the blog posts were mostly shot by me or by husband Donald. Or, they're old family photos - a lovely little benefit of being a part of families who recognized the beauty of preserving our history through photography.

If the photos are not ours, I have tried whenever possible to caption or link the photos to their source. This hasn't always been possible as there are a lot of uncredited images available through the internet.

My sincere thanks to the generosity of so many talented photographers who so graciously share their work for so many of us to enjoy, share and learn from.

IF you see a photo here that is a copyright infringement, please send me an email (barleykw @ appstate dot com) and I'll remove it immediately.

Books Read

Every year I promise myself I'm going to keep a log of books I'm reading. And I immediately forget. Then I remember again, but only after I've already read a few books, but can't be sure I'll remember them all and so - - can't bring myself to start the list. It's sort of like missing the first 30 minutes of a movie. I just can't watch it if I've missed the beginning. And being the anal ol' soul I am, I can't bring myself to start a list if I can't be sure it's going to be a complete one.So.I decided to keep a list during 2010 and found it to be a fun thing. Especially for a compulsive list-maker like myself.

FTC Disclosure Notice

FTC has a regulation which went into effect in December, 2009 which says, basically - "Amateur Bloggers to Disclose Freebies or Be Fined." Significantly fined. So. Since I happen to be an amateur blogger who sometimes receives free books, here's my required FTC Disclosure Notice: Dear FTC - Regarding review copies of books obtained for this blog. No other compensation is accepted beyond review copies of books - ever. When I do write a review, or opinion, the source of the book cited will be disclosed in the post in which the review/opinon appears. If you have questions, please feel free to contact me.