Law of Attraction: I Know My Blocks But How Do I Get Rid of Them?

In a recent podcast, you mentioned the only thing we can really do is work inwards and try to figure out what is keeping our energies from attracting what we want deep down. It makes perfect sense but I’m having trouble figuring out how to really do that. All the tools help and I can manifest and affirm all day but I guess when I look inwards and find those blocks, how do I change them to be something that is of positive/ loving energy? This might be a good blog post if others are feeling similarly!

If, according to the law of attraction, our predominant energy is the determining factor in what shows up in our lives, exploring said energy is obviously an important part of the conscious creation equation. We have largely been living on auto-pilot, lacking any true awareness of the content of our inner world, and this is not an option in the world of the deliberate creator.

Our life may just seem random, with no rhyme or reason behind the things that are happening, or not happening. But when we discover a teaching like the law of attraction, what seems random is anything but. We realize the full extent of our belief system, and how much of it is pretty shitty.

The resistance that tends to pop up when we think about what we want reveals to us all the feelings, thoughts, beliefs and perspectives that need tweaking.

We think we can’t have what we want because we are not good enough or because we lack some particular advantage. In order for one thing to manifest, we believe something else must happen first, and if that thing doesn’t seem possible, well, I guess we’re shit out of luck.

We can’t see ‘how’ this thing would come, and when that happens, our mind is very good at convincing us it isn’t possible.

We have all sorts of really messed up beliefs about money, relationships, happiness, and all the other stuff we want, and this makes allowing these elements into our reality infinitely harder than it has to be.

And as painful as these beliefs may be, there is so much ‘evidence’ behind them; and as much as we want to release them, there is a part of us that actually doesn’t want to. Imagine that?

As you do this work, you are going to discover ‘stuff.’ That is a certainty. There is no reason not to have money, relationships, good health and all the other great stuff we crave. So if you don’t have them, something is blocking that.

The good news is, overcoming those blocks is not as hard as we have made it out to be. This is something we have overcomplicated to the point of feeling like it will be impossible to change our tune energetically, and naturally that feels really badly.

The primary culprit is your mind trying to apply its typical logic-and-action-oriented approach to a process that operates on a very different wavelength. It is trying to control something that can’t be controlled.

You Can’t Really ‘Do’ Anything

In the normal course of events, we are very used to having some sort of goal in mind, some sort of result we want to achieve. We then figure out what steps we can take, what processes, what tools we can use.

We get to work, and eventually something happens. We reach the goal. We get the result. It might take awhile. It might not be easy. But eventually something will happen. Some sort of movement or progress.

Creating from a space of energy doesn’t work this way however, but that can take awhile to really sink in. And we carry over this paradigm of ‘doing’ into our manifesting ‘work.’

We think if we ‘do’ the right thing, or if we use tools ‘enough’ eventually we will experience a change in our reality, eventually we will shift the beliefs and feelings that aren’t serving us.

If we are having trouble doing this, we must not have ‘figured’ something out yet. We must not be ‘doing’ something right. We haven’t found the perfect combination of techniques that if employed properly, will ensure the changes we seek, both internally and externally.

And this is when we go on the desperate hunt for information; this is when we start jumping from program to program, hoping the next one will be the ‘one’ that finally helps us overcome our ‘blocks’; this is when we start worrying we have some massive hidden form of resistance we will never, ever uncover and we’re screwed; this is when we start obsessing over getting ‘rid’ of it.

Now this isn’t to say that using different tools and techniques, doing certain exercises, and the like can’t be helpful. They can be extremely so, and often play an important role for many of us, especially in the beginning when we need some sort of framework, something to sink our teeth into, if you will.

I give coaching clients all sorts of stuff to do that I believe will help them explore their own energy more deeply, and specifically ‘target’ their unique issues.

But none of these things can change your energy, or help you transform a block, independent of the most important ingredient, which is…

Choice

The biggest problem we have with releasing our ‘blocks’ is simply an unwillingness to release them if we are very, very honest with ourselves. Intellectually we may understand certain beliefs really don’t hold water. It feels good to stop buying into them, and not letting them rule our life any longer. But the process of truly releasing on them can be a bit messy.

We really want to release them, but not so much because we want to be happier, but because we think we ‘must’ do so to get our stuff. But that is a bit off topic.

Anyway, so we work on not believing these things anymore. But what tends to happen is, our reality is not changing as fast as we would like it to, or not in the exact way our mind wants it to.

We get attached to certain outcomes that don’t pan out and we’re disappointed. We get very attached to certain representations of the manifestation–stubbornly declaring this person is THE one, etc…

And this attachment to specifics cuts us off from the natural flow of the manifesting process, and again, we don’t see much movement externally, and the wind continues to get taken out of our energetic sails we are ‘trying’ so hard to maintain.

So our mind continues to buy into appearances; you get all upset the Universe isn’t giving you what you want.

The journey doesn’t look like your mind thinks it will; you constantly misjudge manifestations. And this leads you to conclude the law of attraction doesn’t ‘work’ or because your mind isn’t getting exactly what it wants when it wants it, something must be going ‘wrong.’

And all of this leads you to conclude all the limiting beliefs you have are very, very true–look at all this proof. You didn’t believe you could have what you wanted, and you are ‘right.’ And as painful as these beliefs are, you stubbornly fight for them.

You aren’t really willing to release the beliefs until you get some very powerful evidence to the contrary, until you are given a really good reason to.

But knowing what we now know about how reality is created, we realize the ‘I’ll believe it when I see it’ mentality is very, very problematic.

This inability to look beyond our current circumstances, and what may have happened in the past, is really our number one issue when you really think about it.

Again, no tool or technique can do anything ‘for’ you independent of your energy and intentions. That you are still struggling with a block does not mean you are doing something ‘wrong’ or you haven’t found the ultimate technique yet, and until you do, you will continue to struggle.

All it means is you are choosing to still believe this belief, this view of yourself, this perspective.

It is a choice to believe you are not good enough because your abusive father told you so.

It is a choice to believe you can’t make a lot of money because you have been poor all your life.

It is a choice to believe life has to be hard, and you must suffer and strain to get what you want because that is what makes you deserving of it.

It is a choice to believe it is hard to manifest money.

It is a choice to believe you should keep the secure job you have rather than striking out on your own and starting the business of which you have always dreamed.

It is a choice to believe since you have always struggled with your business that you will continue to in the future.

It is a choice to believe that you must live your life a certain way because the religion in which you were raised ,or your parents, dictated this is so, even if you don’t necessarily agree.

It is a choice to believe everyone else’s happiness and needs matter more than your own.

It is a choice to not do what you want to do because you can’t get over the hurdle of caring too much what others think of you.

It is a choice not to do certain things because you have given into someone’s guilt trip

The thing we have to remember though about this choice is that it isn’t a one and done deal. It is a choice we will usually have to consciously make over and over again as the ‘illusion’ in which we find ourselves will never lack for compelling evidence that calls this choice into question.

And each time you make that choice, you give power to the energy that will serve you, that will support you, that will open to door to all the great stuff life has to offer.

Each time you make that choice, you make space for manifestations that ‘prove’ there is something to the beliefs that will serve you better.

The Foundation for Making These Choices

As a fellow human, I get it can be hard to believe things for which we don’t have a lot of evidence for in our own personal experience.

We can read inspirational stories all day long about people who went from being homeless to a millionaire, who walked away from the job they hated and built their dream business, who turned their struggling businesses around seemingly overnight, who managed to find their soulmate after years and years of failed relationships or a divorce that emotionally shredded them.

And there might be that spark of hope these things are possible for us too, but our mind is always very good at detailing why we would be the exception, why it isn’t possible for us. All it focuses on is the struggle, the failure, the lack.

All it knows is what has already happened; it has drawn firm conclusions about how the world works and what is possible for you, and it won’t budge.

This work definitely takes a good deal of faith (that we have the ability to believe in what can’t be seen or ‘proven’ is not an accident), and like I mentioned before, a very strong willingness to look beyond what is right in front of your face, which is simply the result of past energies playing out.

This is where your feelings come in. Your feelings are a powerful guide that can steer you towards truth, and away from untruth.

There is a reason it feels really good to think you do have a say in your reality, that you are loved and supported, that infinite possibility is a real thing, not just something that sounds nice.

These things are TRUE.

There is a reason all the thoughts opposite these feel badly. They are FALSE.

If we are willing to run with this idea, what begins to happen is you start weighing all your ‘crap’ against these better-feeling perspectives, and you realize these things simply aren’t true.

Yes, the ‘crap’ may SEEM very true, and your mind will happily pull up a catalog of experiences to validate any individual belief; but if we remember the energy came first, and then the manifestation, we can more easily dismiss this ‘proof.’

Again, this is a process. This dismissal is something you will have to do over and over again.

And like I said earlier, even just a willingness to not believe these things anymore opens up enough energy to allow in manifestations that will help validate the more ‘positive’ beliefs, and you move from buying in on theory to buying in because you have proof in your own personal experience, and these perspectives no longer seem like such a stretch.

This was the real clincher for me. Yes, I did programs and got great insights. I found tools and techniques with which I resonated, and they helped facilitate these shifts. But like you may have experienced, I still felt I wasn’t making as much progress as I wanted.

I felt I still had these ‘blocks.’ And I finally realized the true key to changing them was this choice to not believe them anymore, this best effort at not believing them. I realized I really wasn’t making this choice as fiercely and consistently as was required of me.

I realized I was still buying into outside appearances and using them as an excuse to keep believing the things that didn’t feel good, to not take actions and make decisions that might have been beneficial.

When I decided to trust my intuitive pull towards this view of the world that felt really good, and consciously choose to reject all that didn’t gel with that, this ‘work’ became so much easier. Manifesting no longer seemed like this complicated thing we are tasked with ‘figuring out’ in order to see changes.

It really started to click that manifesting was truly about what I was ‘being.’ It wasn’t a result of what I was ‘doing.’ It wasn’t a result of ‘asking’ for something and then hoping the Universe would ‘give’ it to me. It wasn’t a result of actively ‘wanting’ something and focusing all my attention on it, trying to ‘will’ it into existence.

I know our process-and-action-oriented mind thinks it all boiling down to choice seems too simple. But it really is that simple. It might not always be ‘easy’ but inherently, it isn’t supposed to be hard.

It likes the idea of being able to control things, of taking certain steps, knowing it will lead to some desired result. But it just doesn’t work that way. This is a good thing, even if it doesn’t seem like it to your mind. This way is a lot easier, if we are willing to believe it can be easy.

Make Peace with the Blocks

Our resistance really isn’t the biggest problem once we begin the journey of conscious creation. Yeah, sure, we have beliefs that don’t serve us, views of ourselves that don’t serve us, and we need to transform them.

But the real problem is, upon discovering this is the true root of our issues–not luck, not our family upbringing,etc…–is we develop a great deal of resistance to our resistance, knowing this is what is ‘messing’ everything up for us.

We want our stuff, and we are told we need to get rid of these ‘blocks’ to get it, and we want to accomplish this as quickly as possible so we can get what we want, what we believe to be the key to our happiness.

And when that doesn’t seem to be happening, we start really pushing against these energies. We desperately ‘try’ to get rid of them, to force them out, to cement their opposites more strongly so that energy can become dominant.

But it can’t become dominant because we are trying to ‘force’ this energy. We are not cultivating it simply for the sake of feeling better, but to get something else. And when we are doing it from that space, it really can’t take root because it’s not genuine.

You have blocks. Of course you do. The way our mind operates, we can’t help but formulate all sorts of limiting beliefs about ourselves and how the world works. Our mind is working with a very limited set of data that it uses to draw very powerful, damaging conclusions that won’t disappear overnight.

If you can make peace with them, realize they are going to be floating through your mind at least every now and again, that you probably won’t be able to just break them apart in the span of a weekend, you will be heading off the truly problematic energy–the energy that builds up as we resist these thoughts, as we try to suppress and deny them, as as we try to pile some ‘positive’ stuff on top of them, hoping that will be sufficient to manifest something different, as we desperately ‘try’ to change them, as we obsess over what we can ‘do’ to get rid of them.

They will transform so long as you make the choice to transform them. Even a little bit of movement in the ‘right’ direction changes your point of attraction, so this means you don’t have to create a whole new belief system from scratch before you start to see changes.

Perfection is not required, thank God, or we would all be in big trouble.

Your Turn

What did you think? Anything resonate in particular? What has helped you transform your blocks?

14 Comments

What you said about that person being the one really resonated with me. I feel the need to ask- if I think of a certain person, the thought of them makes me feel good, it feels good to love them and to think thoughts of being with them. When I think of them not being the one, it feels uncomfortable. So I usually try not to think of that person in general. I would much rather feel good than grapple with this complex (for me) issue.

Would this mean I have a block regarding this person being the one? I am not missing them in the sense of feeling, I am not crying or feeling the loss acutely. In general I feel quite fantastic and I’m enthusiastic that I’ll find love again and live happily ever after. And it will be with that person. In the meantime I’m enjoying all that life has to offer.

Hi Anita Our mind really can’t help but get attached to specific representations of the things we want, and this is especially true with relationships since romantic interest usually produces very intense emotion, coupled with the fact we often have a lot of fear around not finding someone. So it is easy to get attached to certain people. Any attachment to a specific thing or person would be a ‘block’ but it sounds like it is not so intense for you, and you are open to how this love shows up in your life. Totally ridding ourselves of attachment is certainly possible, but most of us will probably have it to some degree so I wouldn’t worry too much about it.

There are two struggles I come up with in trying to choose different beliefs:

1) I find myself afraid to make these choices because I am ultimately afraid of being disappointed. and 2) I find myself getting a sort of masochistic pleasure out of being the victim, the submissive one, the outcast, etc.

The fear of disappointment is understandable, and that just boils down to good old conditioning that getting what we want usually isn’t possible, and it is always better not to expect too much,etc… When we realize what we truly want–feelings, and not the specific representations of those feelings our mind has formulated–it becomes more clear to us that getting what we want is always possible so long as we remain open to how those energies show up in our life. As that sinks in more deeply, there is less fear around letting yourself think this way.

As for the second issue, this is not surprising. There is always some benefit to our current perspectives, actions and behaviors no matter how problematic they seem on the surface. If we weren’t getting something out of it, we would more easily be able to let them go. In order to change that, you would have to explore more deeply the specifics of this satisfaction–what in particular feels good about it? Once you get some more insight into that, you can see what ‘problematic’ issues need to be addressed. This is particularly important for this inclination because a ‘victim mentality’ has very far-reaching consequences and we are setting ourselves up for things going ‘wrong’ in pretty much every aspect of our lives.

This is a good post, Kelli. I know what it’s like to become overly focused on blocks. I’m currently reading Leveraging The Universe by Mike Dooley and he says something similar, about how focusing on your limiting beliefs can hold you back. I like the idea of making peace with the blocks.

Hello Thanks for your comment and glad you enjoyed it. It can be tricky. On one hand we have to discover the ‘specifics’ of our resistance to some degree but then realize the releasing of it can be a lot simpler than we make it out to be. We don’t necessarily have to zero in so intently on a particular block and work on picking it apart piece by piece until it is ‘gone.’ It can be a tricky balance to strike sometimes.

This resonates like crazy, Kelli. I so needed this. I was waiting for your next podcast, and so instead searched for your blog to get another dose of ‘life made to order’ from you in ANY form, and this was perfect timing.

There is never an excessively different number of ways that you can say: “you need just to decide to be happy and feel that everything is possible and already here, *just because*, and not to try to get stuff” ( cuz then you’re sort of affirming lack, right?, if you’re trying to do something – feel good – to get something ). Also,I like hearing the reminder: If something you’re believing feels bad, it’s not true, simple as that. I heard it from A-H, and then from Bentinho Massaro, and now from you, and loved that you added that above.

This part: ” And as painful as these beliefs may be, there is so much ‘evidence’ behind them; and as much as we want to release them, there is a part of us that actually doesn’t want to. Imagine that?” – my most recent blog post was kind of along those lines.. where you say: “part of us doesn’t want to.”

This was the ideal reminder for me, that’s going to help shape my thoughts for my own writing, so thank you

Hi Steve Thanks so much for your comment and I am glad this was helpful for you. I will be back with my podcasts this week–couldn’t do them in my previous locale because the internet wasn’t good enough to get them uploaded. I have missed doing them! When we really start to see the main issues we have, they are just a few things that can just be hard to really buy into and that is a process and the reminders help solidify the information and perspectives. Just hearing something once probably won’t be enough to actually start ‘living’ it. Making peace with the fact this transformation is a process helps a lot.

Hey Kelli, I have the same point of view as Anita. Which inspired a question. Why is it wrong to want to have a specific person? (P.S. i don’t think it’s wrong at all but it seems like many LOa coaches recommend against it) I have read from other LOA coaches that when a desire is inspired in you it is because you can have it, that it is Source’s way of saying “this is the way to go.” So what is really so wrong in wanting to manifest a relationship with a specific person? Does it always really have to mean that we are attached to them or the outcome? Isn’t choosing what experiences and things to have part of being a deliberate creator? Couldn’t it be that we simply know what we want and decide to manifest it? For example I could want a new car, but why wouldn’t I be in the liberty of choosing the one I want and then letting the Loa bring it to me without attachment on how it’s going to happen? I would say it’s the same for a person. Or anything else. Some coaches say that maybe the universe has something better in store. But the universe doesn’t meddle when we manifest “negative” things out of our ignorance of being deliberate creators. So why would it meddle when we choose to manifest a specific thing if it feels good to us? I understand how we are all ultimately after a better feeling but part of being in this physical reality is to experience different things, so we should be able to say I want him her or that without it meaning that choosing to have something in specific means we have a block or attachement. I would love to know your thoughts on this. Thank you so much in advance!

Hi Lin It certainly isn’t ‘wrong’ to want to manifest a specific person. And the person you feel drawn to may in fact be a great match for you. But as many people have experienced, it isn’t always the case and they may be drawn to people for not the ‘best’ reasons such as being lonely and wanting not to be, having low self-esteem and wanting some sort of validation we are lovable,etc.. Or our attractions can be very shallow and ego-based and we try to manifest relationships with people that really may not be the best match overall.

The key to remember is when our mind latches onto a specific external ‘thing’ it can get attached out of fear something better won’t come along or think it is the ‘best’ thing based on its inability to know all the other options or people out there. The thing we truly want at the core are certain feelings, and when we insist a specific person or experience is the BEST representation of that, that indicates attachment and attachment will always take us out of flow. When we are doing this, it is usually from a fear-based space and not from a good-feeling space.

If people want to choose to put their energies into manifesting specific things or people, they certainly can, but I guarantee in almost all cases, that isn’t going to feel good for people because ultimately they are trying to control something that can’t be controlled, and that will be a very frustrating experience. If it feels good to do that, then go for it.

No matter how much we want a specific person or thing to happen, there is no way to GUARANTEE this thing happens, no matter how much we want it or focus on it because we can’t control anything external to us. The only thing we can truly control is our energy, and in doing that, we can’t help but attract things that mirror it back to us. I started enjoying the process of creation much more more when I just focused on my energy and not trying to make certain things happen so that is my core reason for advocating for detachment. And funnily enough, lots of specific things I felt drawn to wanting seemed to happen and my specific focus on them didn’t seem to be necessary.

I sense a lot of energy behind your thoughts here and a great deal of resistance to the idea of detachment. That is usually a good indicator of a lack of clarity around our own perspective. This doesn’t mean someone else is ‘right’ and we are ‘wrong’ by any means but that is always worth examining since whenever we do this, that indicates some sort of ‘disconnect’ that would be helpful to take a closer look at.

Thank you so much! I appreciate your feedback. While I have I manifested awesome things that I didn’t specifically desire but were a match to my vibration I have also manifested specific things and people with whom I also had amazing experiences with. And I particularly were able to manifest them because while I had the desire for them I didn’t feel attached to the outcome and simply maintained a high vibration. So these people and things would flow with ease to me. Abe Hicks is right when stating that we can definitely inspire the relationship we want with others because they always mirror our vibration back to us. And the amazing Neville Goddard also explains it beautifully. As always, amazing post, and what you write comes at the perfect time! Thank you!

Hey Lin That is awesome. I think our intuition can guide us to want specific things that will be beneficial, and like you noted, the lack of attachment to them, allowed them to come and they were great.

I have a question that’s not related to this post but I have been thinking about it for a while and I thought I might as well ask and I’m open to answers from anyone. So there is a guy I am interested in who I don’t know much about him, he comes into my restaurant and we chat a little but not too much. I have been recently feeling that I might be ready to venture back into the dating world. So I started visualising myself and him in a relationship, now I know that just because I’m visualising him that he might not be the right person for me and I’m open to the fact that it could be someone else who is the better match for me and that’s fine. It’s since I started visualising him that really random stuff keeps happening. Ok, so I know he is Swedish. All things Swedish keep popping up everywhere! I got up one morning, the radio in my house is always on and the first thing I hear is a Swedish Scientist on the radio. Then I’ll come home from work, the tv has been left on and there is a program about Sweden on there, I’ll be on Instagram, click on a photo that interests me and it’s will have some to do with Sweden. Now there are 3 things that have happened, but there are tons more! Also I know he is an actor and he is in a play right now, I will see things about that play everywhere!! My question is, is that all that stuff showing up to do with my mind, me overly noticing things and being more aware of them, or is it something from the universe, something that I’m doing with my energy? I’m well aware it could be me looking into things, I know I see 111 and 222 every but I don’t really take much attention from them. Anywho, just thought I’d ask?

Hi Clara It is quite possible these are indicators something may happen with this person. Like you said, you are open to meeting other people as well so that is good. If you do happen to get involved with this person further, just be open to what manifesting him into your life may mean. It could be a long-term relationship, it could be to show you a particular fear, it could be to help you get more clarity about the type of person that would be the best match for you, or countless other things. And if nothing happens, that’s okay too..doesn’t mean anything went wrong–just pay attention to how this situation is making you feel and that can help you get a sense of what the situation is showing you. Ultimately, what you truly want, to be in a relationship, is completely possible, and maybe it’s him or someone else, but it will happen. Good luck!

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About Kelli

Hi, I'm Kelli! Welcome to my blog. In a nutshell, I am a writer and coach taking advantage of my mobile sources of income to indulge in my passion for travel. If I can get an internet connection, it's all good, and since May 2011, my husband Ryan and I have been 'citizens of the world.'

This blog is a result of the wisdom I have gained on my own journey to becoming the person I want to be and living the life I want to live. It is my hope what you read here will inspire you to do the same.