What It's Like to Be a Professional Cuddler

During her day job as a customer service representative, Roxanne* loves to help others. But by night, she helps people in a different way: as a professional cuddler.

Yup, that's right: Roxanne is part of an agency dedicated to cuddling. The company is called Cuddlist, and it consists entirely of people like Roxanne who cuddle with people in exchange for money.

In order to become a "Cuddlist," you have to undergo an online training course that teaches you about touch, consent, and boundaries. There are strict rules for Cuddlists' and clients' behavior, including that nothing sexual can happen, though Roxanne has never needed to enforce them. Overall, she says she's had a great experience. Here's what she had to say about being a professional cuddler and why she believes cuddling is so important.

How did you first get into professional cuddling?

After [my ex-husband and I separated], I started to look for that kind of intimacy that I'd been missing, and I decided that I would try a cuddle party because I enjoy cuddles. I started to go to cuddle parties, and I met a lot of nice people and had a nice time. Then I met [Cuddlist cofounder Adam Lippin] at one of the parties, and he told me that he was starting his own business for cuddling. He asked me to join, and I thought it was a great idea.

What do you enjoy about it?

I enjoy the people in the cuddle community. They are very open-minded and very accepting and loving, and so I enjoy just being around people that are like me. I enjoyed being close to someone without the barter system that we usually have, where you do something for me and I do something for you, whether it's cuddling for sex or it leads up to something else. What we're enjoying is just that time together, and there's nothing more that is being asked for. It is really nice to feel that kind of joy within you. You get that rush of endorphins and oxytocin and don't feel like there's something else you should be doing.

What are your clients like?

Because it's a non-sexual practice, we're open to cuddling people of all genders because it's something that people of all genders need in their lives. However, so far, my clients have been male. Some people do it for wellness—taking care of themselves and their bodies and their minds—and cuddling gives them a little rush of endorphins. It helps their digestion and helps ease depression. Some do not want to ask a friend or family member to cuddle with them because society thinks cuddling is a means to an end, so they don't want to reach out like that. Some people feel awkward in general and don't feel accepted, and they reach out to me to kind of be there for them and to give that acceptance. I...accept them for who they are and for all their disabilities, mentally and physically.

Do a lot of them have disabilities?

Some of them do. Some people might be in a wheelchair. People are afraid of the handicap in some way. Some people are not very good in social interactions. They have social anxiety, so they're not going out onto the scene. Some people are afraid. Some people maybe have gender identity issues. Some are very handicapped. They're afraid to go out into the world and say, "This is what I am and don't judge me based on that. Judge me as a person." So, a lot of the clients have something they need to work out through cuddling. Some just need that time, and they come back months later just to get an extra shot, a burst of happiness, a burst of a bond with someone.

Is there any cuddling experience you've had that stands out as particularly profound?

I did have one this client. He wanted to cuddle for wellness because he was very much into health. He was working on himself spiritually and emotionally, and he wanted to cuddle to kind of align himself in the world, to put him in the present, and to kind of get with oneness and with spiritually. He just wanted to touch, to feel alive and feel wonderful. He was not an unattractive person. People believe that someone who wants a Cuddlist is unattractive or just a loser, but that's not necessarily the case. These people are very successful, very beautiful or handsome, but they want to have a cuddler. They want to cuddle with someone and not expect anything. Some people are just the nurturers for every single person, but they need something to feel good, and they just want to take that time. Some people don't understand that. It felt really great for both of us because in that time, in that space, we shared a moment. Cuddling has this bonding element. It produces all the hormones for bonding, so there's that trust in that time. We were sharing a time and a space and enjoying what was now, enjoying each other and our feelings.

Do you think we underestimate the importance of cuddling?

I think that a lot of people do. Cuddling is the best part of an intimate action. Some people live in a cold environment. They live with people who don't get that, who have preconceived notions. They can't just turn to someone and say "give me a hug." Some people can't do that.

People don't just want to be touched. You want to be held. You want to be enveloped. Touching is one thing, but being cuddled is another.