The truth behind the England team's disappointing summer World Cup capitulation can be revealed today as reports circulate that Wayne Rooney has been knobbing ex-captain John Terry's mum for months.
The alleged affair was going on even before Terr...

Chronic Masturbators around the UK are in uproar today, after Cheryl Cole and Daniiiiii Minogue accused flibberty-gibbets and strumpets "Kandy Rain" of being too shameless, slutty and getting their minges out on Saturday's X factor.
The idiot-chil...

An official report from the Vatican released on 10-10-10 puportedly shows evidence that there were several sightings and/or abductions during the last half of this decade centered solely around the Vatican and a direct link to other-worldly beings.

A contestant on the current series of Masterchef Professionals due to be shown tonight has been exposed as 2 Michellin Tyre owning Apple Von Creampie.
Von Creampie, who will be shown being sent home after the first round by resident Sous Wench, Mo...

Octogenarian, Antipodean artist Rolf Harris has created a controversial title sequence for long-running US animation The Simpsons.
The intro, which was shown in the US on Sunday, opens with the Didgeridoo loving Rolf slapping paint randomly on to...

The Tea Party's underwear related problems continue to cause concern amongst its members, as it was announced today that Sarah Palin had accidentally put her panties on inside out.
This incident is only the latest in a string of underwear problems...

The ordeal of the thirty three Chilean miners trapped underground for over two months is not yet over. There is the journey to the surface and the dangers involved with that but another peril, unreported for some reason, is the media frenzy that awai...

Gay man Larry Sabu, 20, says the time has come for him to become a family man. He tells us that he is on the look out for a troubled cute teenage boy - preferably from Texas - to raise as his own.
"I want to take him out to all the teenage gay clu...

In a surprise move today, the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize was awarded to Mrs. Dorothy Smith of Torbay, Devon, England.
Speaking from the garden in front of the white-stoned hotel she runs with her husband Alfred, Mrs. Smith graciously thanked the judge...

Alan Greenspan took a quick break Wednesday from his extremely boring job as Chairman of the Federal Reserve to celebrate his 143rd birthday with his family and co-workers. Greenspan, who was born the year Abraham Lincoln became president, gave brie...

Dnipropetrousk/Ukraine - US soccer fans got more than they bargained for last night as striking Peep Hole Princess, Erin Andrews, new ESPN late night soccer co anchor, forgot to turn her helmet cam off following England's shocking 1-0 loss on a bloo...

The Government have announced new measures to raise extra funding for the Metropolitan Police. The move has been endorsed by the Mayoral appointed New Chief Constable Lord Jeffery Archer.
During the past year Crack Cocaine with a street value of a...

The Paducah Sun - Although Ernest Keats was a reasonably beloved member of at least half of his family, the floral arrangements at his Friday funeral service dominated conversation during the post-funeral all-you-can-eat buffet luncheon at the home...

What would you do for a Klondike bar? Senator John McCain gave away any hope for the Presidency when he selected Alaska Governor Sarah Palin as his running mate. It must be hitting him just about now like a load of blue ice falling from the sky.

Rove mudslingers, yellow journalists and muck-manufacturers have released lurid photographs from a reputed orgy at the Obama chicago mansion showing Barry and Michelle O in flagrante delicto with the triple axis of evil, the triad that makes Democrat...

In astonishing scenes in Washington today, Presidential candidate Barack Obama was kidnapped by alien beings from outer space.
Obama was holding a open air address when the alien spacecraft suddenly appeared and proceeded to remove the Senate mem...

Children's author, evolution crackpot and atheist fundamentalist Richard Dawkins has been given the cold shoulder by the Wyndgate Country Club in Rochester Hills, Michigan. The club wants nothing to do with Dawkins atheist dogma and has cancelled the...

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