Entries in budget
(17)

Bridey, when it comes to what your vendors are going to provide for you, avoid comparing what you heard your vendors did for your best friend, sort of friend, acquaintance or somebody that you know. Because each circumstance is different... Perhaps the caterer threw in an additional passed hors d’oeuvre during cocktail hour for your friend because they received a shitload of short rib that they needed to unload or else it would go bad. Or maybe the florist your acquaintance used was late paying her rent for the very expensive studio she resides in and lowered her pricing so that she would win the business. Your friend got a free cheese display? Perhaps the catering manager at the venue comped the damn display because your friend is awesome and she simply wanted to throw her a bone. Or, you know what? Maybe, they’re all lying or embellishing the truth. Whaaaa? You don’t think that you girls are competing just a bit? So be happy with what you got because as Theodore Roosevelt said, "Comparison is the Thief of Joy".

Whatever the case may be, bridey, I just can’t listen to it anymore! Remember when you told your mom that the whole class failed that stupid fucking geometry test and her retort was that, ahem (imagine your best mom voice), “I don’t care about the rest of the class, I care about you.” UGH! But, you totally remember, don’t you? Well, that is essentially what I am saying to you. When you approach your vendors with deals that they may or may not have made with your peers, it does nothing but piss them off in the same way it pissed off your mother. Because each circumstance is different!!! They are focused on what they are providing to you. And all weddings are not created equal! And frankly, all brides are not created equal. And... you guessed it! Not all "deals" are created equal!

Bridey, if you want a freebie, the worst possible way you can go about asking for it is to say that of your friend, or whomever, got a deal and therefore you want one too. Seriously? That’s just annoying. Be straightforward. Be nice. Show some respect for the vendor with whom you are working, and leave everybody else out of the equation. If something is out of your budget, tell them, and if they are in a position to discount it or offer it to you complimentary, so be it, but let it be their decision. No matter what, if you have been a delight to work with thus far, anything is possible. I told Elizabeth Vargas that when we sat down for a chat. Basically, we (vendors) want to go above and beyond for those clients who treat us with respect.

Budget. It’s a dirty word, but somebody’s GOT to talk about it. Here’s the thing, bridey, when your guest list grows, then your budget needs to grow with it. PERIOD. THE END. Really, it’s as simple as that. Because it’s not fair for you to expect your vendors to adhere to your muchsmaller budget simply because you want to invite more people, and now you can’t afford the previously agreed upon menu/concept/bouquet/etc. In fact, you should be calling your vendors telling them that they have to provide MORE of whatever it is they are providing, not LESS, because your numbers have increased.

I’m currently working with a bride who has about zero control over her guest list. And frankly, it’s starting to really piss me off. We’ve gone round and round and round regarding her fucking guest list, and I have had it. Bridey, if you can’t afford to invite the free world, then don’t. I know what etiquette says about whom you should invite, and who you shouldn’t feel obligated to invite to your wedding, but you know what etiquette doesn’t tell you, bridey? That your budget has to take precedence over stupid etiquette. I mean sure, invite everybody you know, but I hope they like the cash bar, one passed hors d’oeuvre and vegetarian meal. Because that’s what they are going to “enjoy” that evening. Not to mention that their table will stripped of anything resembling a centerpiece and MUZAK will be the entertainment because the DJ wouldn’t drop his prices.

Okay, perhaps I am being a bit melodramatic, but you get what I am saying, right?

As you know, one of my favorite words in the whole wide world (besides the word, perspective), is the word ENTITLED or ENTITLEMENT. And, most of the time I am quite excited when I come across somebody else expressing themselves using this word. However, this is not one of those times. In fact this time, I am actually offended by the misuse of my very favorite word, for YOU, brideys! Because you know that I am a lot of things, but judgmental is not one of them. Do I call it the way I see it? Yes. Do I sometimes offend people with the truth or the use of my colorful vocabulary? Yes. Have I been accused of being "vulgar"? Yes. And while I am all of those things, I'm not a judgy bitch.

If you find yourself asking what prompted this, here's the two cent tour... So, instead of indulging in gossip websites or even the news, I prefer to relax while reading the bridal chit chat on the wedding boards. Seriously, it relaxes me somehow. And I truly believe that it helps me be a better wedding planner. No really, I do! It's like being a fly on the wall and being able to hear all of the shit brides say that they might not say to their planner. However, as I was simply enjoying my day, trolling the boards, I came across this statement on The Knot:

Hey peeps... SO... I know that today is Wednesday, and that I should be posting a Real Wedding, but I thought this guest post was so helpful that I wanted to share it with you immediately. Plus, after the brutal The Truth Hurts Tuesday from yesterday, I thought I should give back a little! But, I'm not the one giving today... Lindsey, from Melbourne, is! She's got an fantastic post about creating a wedding guest list without the bullshit. So, obviously, I love it, and I know you will too!

And you know what? This is NOT a sponsored post, I just like what this chick has to say!

So you recently got engaged and are now ready to start planning your wedding. Congratulations! Now that you’re engaged, you will face a whole new set of problems and issues that may make you regret the decision to have a wedding in the first place.

Luckily, there are many guides and tips that can help reduce the stress of wedding planning. One of the first issues you will have to discuss is the size of the guest list. This is an important first step, because it will help you determine where to have the venue, how big the wedding budget will be, how much food to order, and many other details about the wedding.

Use these handy tips to help you determine who to invite to your special day:

I say this every Wednesday, but I really am in love with Caroline (and Ben's pretty cool too). They got married the weekend of Hurricane Issac. Yeah... Yikes! But, they didn't let it get in their way. No no no... They pushed on, changed the plan, and rolled with it. How awesome is that? And what I find truly fucking cool? Everybody made it to the wedding, and as you'll see from the pictures, they had an amazing time! Go Caroline!

Another thing I say A LOT... BB is NOT from the DIYers, but I have a deep respect for those of you who are. I am no artist, and really hate following direction (shocking, I know), so usually anything I do myself, turns to shit. But, Caroline (together with her grandmother, mom, MIL, bridesmaids, etc.)? She rocked it! I mean, just look at her bouquet!!!

So, please my brideys, enjoy this phenomenal wedding! Let it put things into perspective for you. Caroline had to plan TWO weddings (and not for the price of one) because of the hurricane. If she can do that, then you can certainly plan one without losing your cool! ENJOY!

(When Caroline tried on her wedding dress, she fell in love with a veil that was out of her budget (a third of the price of the dress). She looked for an alternative, but just decided that she could not spend that much on a veil! Her grandmother found a birdcage veil and hair comb for a steal at Joann Fabrics. She also bought a package of tiny rhinestones. So with a pair of tweezers and a bottle of craft glue, Caroline created her beautiful veil a few days before the wedding. She loved the outcome, loved the price, and received many compliments!)

1. Bridey, how did you meet your spouse? (The short and sweet version please.)

We met in college in Santa Fe, New Mexico (at a Toga Party!). We went on a few dates before Ben graduated and then I was supposed to leave for home. Luckily my car broke down and we dated all summer and then he moved to New York. We did long distance for a while and then I moved out here too.

2. How long were you together before you were engaged?

4 1/2 years

3. What was the length of time between the engagement and the wedding?

A year and a half!

4. Where did your wedding take place? (venue, city and state)

It was supposed to take place at a family members home in Chesterfield, MO, but instead we moved it indoors (thanks to a weekend of 100% chance of precipitation due to Hurricane Isaac) to Chesterfield Arts/Stages St. Louis. We were their first wedding ever!