-- Surviving. Living. Hoping. -- Recurrent Pregnancy Loss & Adoption

-- Surviving. Living. Hoping. -- Recurrent Pregnancy Loss & Adoption

Birth Mother Visit

When we started our trip home after our son was born, one of the hardest moments was saying goodbye to Little MPB’s birth mother. You see, nothing about his birth went according to plan when. We almost missed his birth due to bad weather that forced us to land in a neighbouring state to wait out the bad weather while his birth mom went into labour. We ended up all sharing 1 hospital room for the first 24 hours of his life, as the hospital had never done an adoption before and wouldn’t follow the birth mom’s wish to have a separate room for her and another room for Little MPB and us. Then, we couldn’t take Little MPB to his pediatrician appointment 2 days after he was born because we didn’t have the right paperwork, so his birth mom just came with us. Then, we couldn’t travel as quickly as planned, so we just hunkered down in the town he was born (in a hotel without a kitchen). This meant we spent the first week of Little MPB’s life with daily visits from his birth mom.

Truthfully, it’s not what we expected, but it was such a special week because we all got to know each other and make some memories together. She got to see us attempting to become first time parents, which I can only imagine was slightly entertaining. She got to hold and snuggle Little MPB basically whenever she wanted. We met her friends and they met us. She showed us the tourists sites, and took us around town. We did shopping trips together. We all went out to lunch and/or supper together every day. Looking back, it was such a special time, and I am so glad we had that time together.

But, it also meant saying goodbye was presumably even harder then any of us expected. We all knew when out last visit together was going to be the morning we started our attempt at crossing the USA. And it was such an emotional visit. Some of our parting words were that this isn’t goodbye forever, we’ll be back.

But now, we are officially planning a long weekend trip to visit Little MPB’s birth mother and sibling. We asked if it was okay and she said yes. So, we are going to make this visit happen at some point in 2018. And you know what? I’m not that nervous. I honestly think it will be great for Little MPB to meet her, even if he wont remember it later in life because he’s still too young. I think it’s important for his relationship with her to know her in real life. I also I think it’s important to us to keep our word that we will visit.

Truthfully, since our travel plans are in the very early stages, I have to admit that currently I’m just incredibly annoyed at the costs of flights! My gosh, who knew it could be so expensive to get to the middle of no-where?!

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14 Comments on “Birth Mother Visit”

I think it’s really wonderful how involved you want Little MPB’s birth mother in his life. It takes a strong person to do this as there must be so many different emotions involved. When he’s older he’s really going to appreciate the efforts you and Mr MPB are making to ensure this happens….even the expensive flights! 🙂

That’s fabulous!! Well, not the flight costs. I’ve actually been meaning to ask if you’ve heard from her lately and if her and the baby are doing well. I’m so glad you want to keep the communication open and have them know each other. Such a special relationship! ❤

“The middle of nowhere” is always the most expensive. Drives me crazy! We live in Des Moines, iowa and flights can be crazy expensive because they almost always require layovers. Driving 2 hours to Omaha (Nebraska) to fly to DC got us a direct flight AND $175 cheaper PER PERSON. It’s so different from when I lived in Chicago!

I’m glad you’ve got this in the works, you’ll probably treasure it like you do that first week with her. Photos of it will be important to little mpb later, even after he does start remembering trips to visit her. He’ll know that you made it a priority even when you knew he wouldn’t remember it. ❤️

Looking at our adoption ourselves, I appreciate that you place a positive light on the relationship that you have with the birth mom. The stories we have heard, some from the agency we are considering working with, some from adoptive parents, all paint a very different picture…so thank you!

It’s great that your relationship with her is so strong. I am sure you will have an amazing time.
The cost of flights can be pretty astronomical. Are there ever sales? I know we need to go to a neighbouring state twice this year and am keeping my eye out for flight sales hahaha.

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