A Kingwood woman has been arrested after police caught her behind the wheel of a car while allegedly intoxicated on a cornucopia of substances, all while an eight-month-old baby was buried alive under clothing and a skateboard in the back seat of the trash-filled vehicle.

Montgomery County Precinct 4 Deputies found 40-year-old Jessica Barber Gutierrez parked at a Valero station in Porter after she had been observed stopping her car in the road for no reason.

On questioning, Gutierrez told a cop she had chased down some Xanax and Prozac with a single beer, and later, during the booking process, also admitted to also toking on some "potpourri," yet another exciting new entrant in the brave new world of synthetic drugs like K-2 and bath salts.

Once unearthed from the landslide of detritus in the backseat, the baby was found to be in good health. The child is currently in CPS custody.

Gutierrez also told police she had another child -- a 12-year-old. That kid, she explained, was being watched by her 21-year-old roommate. Unfortunately for all parties, Gutierrez could not come up with the babysitter's name.

According to public records, Gutierrez has been charged with DWI twice before and was convicted of child endangerment in Harris County in 2002 and given five years' probation. She is currently being held on enhanced DWI charges in the Montgomery County Jail. Bail was set at $25,000.

Her Facebook page shows Gutierrez to be in a rare, very East Texas sort of Venn Diagram: people who like Eazy-E and Tupac and Clay Walker, the Bible, Mitt Romney and the Tea Party.