Government announces mimimum price for alcohol in parliamentary bars

David Cameron has announced that MPs and members of the House of Lords will in future have to pay the full price of alcohol and food in parliament. The move is designed to address the health of parliamentarians such as morbidly obese Tory Eric Pickles and the permanently pickled former Lib-Dem leader Charles Kennedy.

The PM insisted "MPs have to show the public that we will suffer the same burden as them. After all, we are all in this together"

Mr Cameron expects opposition from all sides but predicted "MPs will just put it on their expenses".