Free to Be Me

The small pangs that go with being single are nothing compared to the adventure of walking with Christ.

Heidi L. Larson

There's a show on television called The Amazing Race. Participants race in pairs, navigating foreign countries and cultures and overcoming obstacles and setbacks in order to win the prize. In many ways it epitomizes and represents life: a goal or destination, blocked by a series of setbacks and challenges.

And of course, it's done in pairs.

That pretty much sums up what the world believes. Solo is no-go.

And Christian singles are used to that—because we know the whole world is under the control of the evil one. That the Enemy's influence and lies have permeated our culture.

But there is a Christian version of this lie that exists in the church. And it is simply this: that the amazing race consists of you and your husband. And your race doesn't start until you find and marry him. Like the board game, "Trouble," finding Mr. Christian Right is the "one" or the "six" that you have to roll to get out of home and onto the game board.

If you're a single Christian woman odds are you have felt the impact of this belief.

No one will say such a thing to you. Our brothers and sisters in Christ will agree: Singleness is a gift . . . it's biblical. . . Paul espoused it . . . Christ lived it. But if you've been single for long, chances are it seems like no one really believes that. Because the question you'll hear again and again isn't, How's your walk with Christ? It's, Have you met anyone yet?

I read an online article recently. The writer was Christian. The intended audience was Christian. The article started out warmly sympathetic. It was full of comfort and reassurance. I wasn't alone, the writer told me. Everything was going to be okay, despite my circumstances. God would come through for me.

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