“Like writing your name in water”

The title is inspired by a quote from John Keats’s gravestone: ‘Here Lies One Whose Name Was Writ in Water’

It really resonated with me during a conversation yesterday about physical impermanence and immortal consciousness. I just really liked it.

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Ever feel like there is just not enough time in this life to do everything you want to? I do beautiful, wonderful things every day, but there is always more! I want to study and master yoga, ayurveda, mandolin, anatomy, biology; I want to read every book on my shelf and on my lists of books to read; I want to be a part of book clubs and discussion groups, to take painting classes, to grow a garden, write regularly, spend quality time with all the people I love, keep a clean house, travel the world, photograph animals, see plays, and take dancing classes. I want to learn marital arts, philosophy, religion, history, astronomy, how to can, how to make jewelry, and master the use of essential oils. This list grows every day! So many cool things to do and see and experience in this life…

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Yesterday I went to Circle Yoga Shala with my friends Marriah and Pilot to visit with Holly and Matt, two humans I find incredibly magnetic. They’ve built a beautiful space in the Ozark mountains and the little bit of time I’ve spent out there has been invaluable. Both times I’ve visited have been sprinkled with amazing conversation (mostly listening on my part) and delicious food. These two folks are intelligent and seasoned with incredible amounts of experience from which they speak of with love, humility, and passion-qualities I find highly desirable in people. We pet the horses, ate carrot soup and cornbread, had the aforementioned talk about eternal consciousness and mortal incarnation and love and holding on and letting go and transience and impermanence. We sat on the porch as the rain battled the sun and then drank the warmest, spiciest chai as we chatted about Amma and agreed to take a trip to see her on her next tour through the US. Pilot and I walked barefoot around the garden (it’s November!) and picked up pretty leaves. The drive out was beautiful in and of itself, and made even better by the company of M and P, two ladies I love very much. I’m considering continuing my advanced yoga studies out at the Shala this spring. It’s another large investment of both time and money, but as I said earlier, time with the Krepps has proven invaluable so far.

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Last night April hosted a chili competition at her house. We had 13 chilis to taste and vote on. I entered two because I really like to cook and couldn’t decide on a recipe. And I’m really competitive. Ironically, my zeal to win resulted in me *winning* last place on one of the chilis which is actually pretty awesome and hilarious. I made an Oktoberfest chili with bratwurst and sauerkraut (which I personally loved) and a Smoky Bacon Chocolate Chili. The chocolate was overwhelming in the latter after sitting for 24 hours. When I first made it, it had a really awesome smoky bacon taste to it, but apparently I overshot on the chocolate and got myself the most votes for the “Pity Pot.” Really though, I won pepper pug salt and pepper shakers, so I win.

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This week was really wonderful. I got to spend quality time with many dear friends, having long fruitful conversations (some challenging, some light). It’s an interesting season in life as far as (platonic) relationships go.

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Last Sunday my friend Natalie gave me a bracelet with an animal bone bead on it. Curiously enough, I’ve had multiple situations and conversations which evoked animal reverence this week. It’s actually very interesting as each situation has been unique and unrelated to the others, yet they are all pointing me in the same direction. Essentially they’ve all served as reminders of how I fit into the big picture and the cycle of embodied life, and humbled me to my existence. Food decisions are always pretty personal and, for some reason, threatening to others, so I’ll end with saying that I’ve simply become aware of the importance of having reverence for my food, regardless of the source. I’ve also been reminded how intimately linked we are to our primal, animal nature, and how much of it is repressed by modern culture. It’s all just really interesting and insightful.

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I love my new home with Whitney and all the dogs. It’s really great having a roommate for several reasons: built in company, accountability for cleanliness, someone to eat my cooking and split a bottle of wine with. Whit loves basketball, and that’s something we’re working on. I just set a bunch of animal shows to record on our DVR and Whit has all the basketball shows recording. We compliment each other, yeah?………….

A few other tidbits:

Just saw a commercial for a show called “Too Cute! Puppies” so brb, need to go set that to record.

I get to see my family and snuggle my nieces and hug my bestie and see my high school girlfriends in a couple of weeks in KC. So excited.

I have a tattoo scheduled for Thanksgiving weekend! One I’ve wanted for a while.

I just saw a commercial for chocolate fountains at Golden Corral. Ew.

I was in the audience of Price is Right on Monday.

I bought Justin Timberlake tickets this week.

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Today I’m basically going to sit on my couch or my back porch all day long. It’s a day off with no real obligations and only a couple of tasks I need to get done. I haven’t spent an entire day at home in months. Today is that day. Not leaving. Don’t ask me to do anything. I might have to have someone deliver me beer so I can have a brew while I watch the Chiefs game tonite. That’s how seriously committed to staying home I am. I need to send a few emails, make a flyer for a community yoga class, and edit the Wistrom family photos-all of which I can do without brushing my hair or wearing real clothes (ie-anything but sweats). Also, is this November? 70+ degrees? I mean, I’ll take it. I like it. I’d be okay with it being this temperature always.