I've been picked on, rejected by women, stared at in public, and made fun of my entire life all because I have Cerebral Palsy. I hate feeling like I'm being judged by everyone. I hate the fact that women won't date me because I have Cerebral Palsy. I hate not being treated like a normal human being and I hate feeling like I'm not being accepted for who I am.. I'm wondering.....how do you deal with having Cerebral Palsy?

That is a great question. I have asked people the same thing and I never really get an answer that helps me. It seems most people have had people around them growing up who encouraged them enough so that they were never scared or affected by people who treated them badly. I don't run into things like what you wrote that are more honest about what it's really like to live this way. I thank you for that, though I know that doesn't help you.

First you should get as much help as you can with a good doctor and physical therapist so you know you are in the best shape you can be. Once you have done that, I think you have to try and find joy in parts of life that make you happy and have nothing to do with walking. For me that is music and watching sports and being with animals. By the way if you like animals, getting a pet is a great thing for you to do. So many of them need homes and they are the BEST, most loyal friends you will ever find, who will never judge you, rate you, pick on you.

I know it's extremely difficult getting treated like garbage, not getting to just be a regular person blending in with everybody else, not dating. Believe me, I am with you 100%. I have no great answers for you other than trying to find people as similar to you as possible, either with CP or just being good people who won't care what you've got. I know there are a LOT of shallow people out there. Remember that they're just not good enough for you, because they're not. A person who cannot go beyond appearances and appreciate other qualities about you is not worth your time. Just trust me. Good luck and write back if you want.

I don't really think there is an honest answer. Some people are just shallow and don't understand what life is like for people with Cerebral Palsy. I used to care what people thought about me but I've come to a point in my life where I don't really care what people think of me anymore. You either like me or you don't and if you don't it's your loss. I know I'm in the best shape of my life. I can do all of the things someone without Cerebral Palsy can do. I just have limitations. Unfortunately, I can't get a pet. Where I live they don't allow pets. I know that if people can't accept me having Cerebral Palsy then they're not good enough for me and aren't worth my time. Trust me, I've come across a lot of people who aren't worth my time. By the way....you sound like a great girl. Do you have Cerebral Palsy or another disability?

I understand that any person will look at something that they are not used to seeing. I know CP is unusual to the public, and if they know about it at all it's on TV looking really horrible. Hardly anyone knows that people can have CP and graduate college, write a book, make a souffle. Finally I am beginning to see adults with CP writing online (look on ******--there is some awesome stuff on there) and expressing themselves. For so long it was all about children, and still it is mostly about them. That's great for their mothers but it does not help us. Adults with CP need to SPEAK UP and be noticed.

So I know why people are looking but they should know better than to even do it. It doesn't take a genius to know it can hurt people. I know children can't help it but they drive me crazy with some of the awful things they've done and gotten away with simply because they're little. You are ahead of me in that it doesn't bother you. (Oh, I do have CP, by the way.) I've spent decades trying to get over that and nobody can help me because again, either people walk normally or they are in a wheelchair most of the time. They don't know what to do with me because I am in between and I cannot respond to "just get over it."

At least since I know what it's like to get picked on, etc., I am more understanding of other kinds of people who are unusual in different ways, and I can defend those who don't get the attention/help they need (animals, for example) in a way that would not occur to the average person. Most people are so absorbed in appearances because that's all that they know. When you know that's not your strong point and you are "normal" inside you develop other parts of you instead, so you can be REALLY good in ways that are deeper than who has the best car or who has the biggest diamond. Right now that's the best advantage I can think of.

I understand that any person will look at something that they are not used to seeing. I know CP is unusual to the public, and if they know about it at all it's on TV looking really horrible. Hardly anyone knows that people can have CP and graduate college, write a book, make a souffle. Finally I am beginning to see adults with CP writing online (look on ******--there is some awesome stuff on there) and expressing themselves. For so long it was all about children, and still it is mostly about them. That's great for their mothers but it does not help us. Adults with CP need to SPEAK UP and be noticed.

So I know why people are looking but they should know better than to even do it. It doesn't take a genius to know it can hurt people. I know children can't help it but they drive me crazy with some of the awful things they've done and gotten away with simply because they're little. You are ahead of me in that it doesn't bother you. (Oh, I do have CP, by the way.) I've spent decades trying to get over that and nobody can help me because again, either people walk normally or they are in a wheelchair most of the time. They don't know what to do with me because I am in between and I cannot respond to "just get over it."

At least since I know what it's like to get picked on, etc., I am more understanding of other kinds of people who are unusual in different ways, and I can defend those who don't get the attention/help they need (animals, for example) in a way that would not occur to the average person. Most people are so absorbed in appearances because that's all that they know. When you know that's not your strong point and you are "normal" inside you develop other parts of you instead, so you can be REALLY good in ways that are deeper than who has the best car or who has the biggest diamond. Right now that's the best advantage I can think of.

I think that most of the public think that people who have Cerebral Palsy are retarded which is not true at all. I am living proof of that. I have an Associate's Degree in Liberal Arts. I am far from retarded. I think society is to blame for the perception that the public has. I think for a long time people with Cerebral Palsy and disabilities in general were viewed as not human and that because we're different that automatically makes us retards. Why do you let it bother you? You were born the way you were born. You can't change the fact that you have Cerebral Palsy and neither can I. The best thing we can do is to learn to deal with it. Are you in a wheelchair or can you walk?

I've been thought to have been retarded also and I also have a college degree. It's interesting what people assume when they have so little information. CP is never talked about so I don't know how the public can learn. It doesn't appear much research is being done, either, and I think for a lot of us our walking difficulties really shouldn't be so tough to fix.

It bothers me because in every other way I am a "normal" person, yet I am rejected by society because of one thing. It's like so close, yet so far away. If only, if only, if only.

I do walk but I am always holding onto something. In the house I just hold onto furniture and if I'm out I can use one cane or two, depending on the situation. In the rare event that I am going somewhere where there is a ton of walking, I can use a wheelchair. The more confident I feel, the better I can walk. A lot of it is in my head. How about you? How is your walking?

Last edited by yankeegirl; 01-10-2013 at 07:49 PM.

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khaleesi (01-12-2013)

I've been thought to have been retarded also and I also have a college degree. It's interesting what people assume when they have so little information. CP is never talked about so I don't know how the public can learn. It doesn't appear much research is being done, either, and I think for a lot of us our walking difficulties really shouldn't be so tough to fix.

It bothers me because in every other way I am a "normal" person, yet I am rejected by society because of one thing. It's like so close, yet so far away. If only, if only, if only.

I do walk but I am always holding onto something. In the house I just hold onto furniture and if I'm out I can use one cane or two, depending on the situation. In the rare event that I am going somewhere where there is a ton of walking, I can use a wheelchair. The more confident I feel, the better I can walk. A lot of it is in my head. How about you? How is your walking?

I think people are quick to judge us because we're different. Don't feel bad! I'm rejected too. Rejected by girls because I have Cerebral Palsy. Why are you always holding on to something if you can walk? If it's all in your head can that be fixed? My walking is good. I was working at a car dealership and somehow I got foot tendonitis in my bad foot so now I wear a foot brace to help me walk straight and it's working so it's a good thing.

I hold onto things because my balance isn't great and I don't want to fall down. So it's not completely in my head. I do for sure have problems walking but because I am nervous about it, it makes it harder to move. It makes my knees tighten up so I am trying to walk with two really straight legs. I'm glad your foot brace is working!

I can relate to the balance problems. I walk without assistance devices when I am in familiar surroundings, but I use a cane when I am in public or unfamiliar places. For me, it's more of a security thing.

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yankeegirl (01-14-2013)

It is hard to deal with it, especially in the public world. People stared at me since I was a little girl, but now I am used to it. I had problems with guys too, but a long time ago, I told myself - they either like me or they don't... I decided to keep an open mind about if I will end up with a man or not in my life.

It is like what Yankeegirl said - just focus on the things that you do best and show it to people and let them know of the things that you are good at or what you can succeed in - like hobbies or mechanical things.

I can relate to the balance problems. I walk without assistance devices when I am in familiar surroundings, but I use a cane when I am in public or unfamiliar places. For me, it's more of a security thing.

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yankeegirl (02-08-2013)

To tell the truth, I've had CP since I was born and sometimes it gets easier to deal with over the years. I still have balance issues from time to time and needing a banister to walk up or down the stairs. Then sometimes I'm still self-conscious about myself I do try to exercise and lift weights (I have mild CP that affects my legs) but over the years I just stopped & start because I felt as if I weren't seeing in changes in my body.

When I was a kid, I met some nice people but in middle school I really started to learn how stupid people could be I had people teasing me and even would try to start fights with me on occasions over nothing (b/c I would speak up). At some point in my teens I became somewhat anti-social or withdrawn from people due to some of my experiences. Unfortunately, as I've gone through college I've been some what anti-social due to my experiences & CP. I'm always nervous in social situations as well.

Recently, I was dealing with anxiety due to my age (30) and CP and I noticed that I gained a lot of weight over a year due to personal factors & junk food diet so I started working back out again. Living with CP is a process and at times it's hard and sometimes I say that I'm truly blessed by God as well all are.

I'm glad I found this forum where I can vent or relate to those like myself.