Contents

Transcript

{The toon opens with Marzipan playing her guitar in her living room, decorated with ghost streamers. Homestar walks up, and Marzipan stops playing as she turns around.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER:{angry} Marzipan, it's over! {raises his sword prop}

MARZIPAN:{unfazed} Okay.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I can't take another day of this {plants his sword into the floor} garbage relationship!

MARZIPAN: That's fine.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Wait, what day is it?

MARZIPAN:{annoyed} Halloween.

{Homestar produces a book labeled "PLAN THING" and opens it up.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER:{sheepishly} Oops, sorry! I was looking at next week. This is what I'm supposed to say to you today: {jumps up excitedly} Marzipan! This is it! {picks up and raises his sword} This Halloween I'm finally going to tell a top-notch four-and-a-half-stars-with-over-six-hundred-reviews-quality ghost story! And you know what that means!

{The music Marzipan was playing starts back up.}

MARZIPAN: Um, that you're gonna break up with me next week apparently?

HOMESTAR RUNNER:{dramatically} Mr. Poofers must die!!

{Cut to a title screen reading "Mr. Poofers Must Die". Mr. Poofers's eyes occasionally briefly flash in place of the O's in the title. The words "A TOP-NOTCH 4½ STARS WITH OVER 600 REVIEWS QUALITY GHOST STORY" appear at the bottom of the screen.}

{Cut to Homestar, standing next to a table with a candle on it, as silhouettes of the other characters look on. White noise plays for a few seconds as he looks around. Cut to a shot of the other main characters.}

STRONG BAD: Ummmm... what did I just listen to?

{Cut back to Homestar.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, sorry. "The end."

{Cut to Strong Bad.}

STRONG BAD: Is that what you dragged us all here for?!

{Cut to Strong Sad.}

STRONG SAD: Wasn't Mr. Poofers supposed to die?

{Cut to Homestar.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Aw, man! Did it happen again?! Every time I try and tell a spooky Mr. Poofers story—

{Cut to Marzipan.}

MARZIPAN: Which has now been exactly one time.

{Cut to Homestar.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: —he always survives! I thought, if I could finally kill him off, it would definitely become a top-notch four-and-a-half-stars-with-over-six-hundred-reviews-quality ghost story.

{Cut to Bubs.}

BUBS: But it didn't even sound like you tried to off Mr. Poofers in the first place.

{Cut to Homestar.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, but I did. Watch this: I'm about to say "Then Mr. Poofers' head fell off and he died, died, died." Ahem.

{Cut to Mr. Poofers walking down the street.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER:{voiceover} Mr. Poofers was thinking about a branch, {a thought bubble with a branch appears over his head} a hotel, {the bubble expands an a hotel labeled "OH SWELL" is added} and a $350 pair of loafers.

{The bubble expands and a pair of brown shoes marked "350" is added. Then it disappears and Mr. Poofers spins, looking like a tornado.}

COACH Z: Eh, what a bunch of balarney. Ain't nobaddy can get fatally irresponsible with an animal like Coach Z! Let me take a whack at it. And I'll try and finish your story too!

{Cut to Mr. Poofers and Old Man Rootbeer standing next to each other near a wall.}

COACH Z:{voiceover} Look, gentlemen! A roundish box!

{A roundish box drops into the scene as both characters take a step back.}

COACH Z:{voiceover} Mr. Poofers {the "oo" is pronounced as in the word "hook"} pretended there was such thing as a roundish box.

{Mr. Poofers pushes it toward Rootbeer.}

COACH Z:{voiceover} He gave it to Old M'n Rootber, {The "oo" is again pronounced as in "hook". Rootbeer scratches his head} who absolutely had not asked for it. {as Rootbeer:} This better be replacement pimecones! {normally} Belted Old M'n Rootber.

{Rootbeer reaches into the box and produces a broken half of a brush with brown hairs stuck to it as an electric sound effect is heard. He looks at it, puzzled.}

COACH Z:{voiceover} It was half a hairbrush. {pronounces the L in "half"}

{Rootbeer turns the brush over. The scene poofs away as we cut back to Coach Z, whose face is covered in sweat.}

{Scene shifts to Mr. Poofers looking at a table as a bowl of pudding, with a hair sticking out of it, slides in front of him.}

MARZIPAN:{voiceover} —in a cafeteria, with bad, bad pudding.

{Mr. Poofers knocks it away angrily.}

MARZIPAN:{voiceover} I mean, have you ever?

{The scene poofs away and cuts back to Marzipan, whose face is also covered in sweat.}

MARZIPAN:{distraught} I was wrong! I was so wrong!

{Pan over to Strong Sad.}

STRONG SAD: Oooh, this is getting supernaturally interesting! All right, Poofers, it's time for you to face... the Deathly Pallor! {closes his eyes, tenses up, and starts wiggling his fingers} I invoke protections from the third arcane level and send my mind into the psychic vault! You shall not break through! {opens his eyes and holds his arms wide}

{Cut to Mr. Poofers}

STRONG SAD:{voiceover} Pimecone.

{A pine cone appears. The scene then poofs away and cuts back to Strong Sad, whose face is also covered in sweat, and whose fingers are still twitching.}

STRONG SAD:{panicking} Oooohhh! Oohhh! Lemme out! It was horrible! {The Poopsmith puts his hand on Strong Sad's shoulder.} It was like Homestar's imagination was gushing out of my mouth like fire!

{Homestar leans into the scene}

HOMESTAR RUNNER:{chuckling} I know, right?

{Cut to Strong Bad.}

STRONG BAD: Okay, fine. We all knew it was coming down to this anyway. I will merc Mr. Poofers for you sad sacks! {mutters to himself:} All right, concentrate, Strong Bad. Keep your mind strong! {lifts his head} Bad! See what I did—

EVERYONE ELSE: Yes!

STRONG BAD: Okay, sorry.

{Cut to an image of Mr. Poofers on a path, with Old Man Rootbeer standing in the distance.}

{As the music picks up, cut to outside Marzipan's house, as a ghostly image of Mr. Poofers rises over it. Then cut to a Bookazon page for "Mr. Poofers Must Die: Homestar's Top-Notch Ghost Story", which starts with no stars and -4 customer reviews, but raises to four and a half stars and 601 reviews. Then, fade to The Field, where everyone is standing in costume. "Homestar as Dirk the Daring" appears next to Homestar.}

STRONG BAD: Hey, Homestar, nice Dork the Daring costume!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah, that's who I dressed up as. Dirk {sounds like "dork" due to Homestar's speech patterns} the Daring.

STRONG BAD: No, no, I said Dork the Daring!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Right, right, Diiiiirk the Daring!

STRONG BAD:{groans, then quickly:} Hey Homestar, Duck left!

{The caption disappears as a yellow light flashes on the left side of the screen and Homestar dodges to the left.}

STRONG BAD: No, right!

{A yellow light flashes on the right side of the screen and Homestar dodges right.}

STRONG BAD: No, sword!

{A yellow sword blinks to Homestar's right.}

STRONG BAD: No, left sword!

{A yellow sword blinks to Homestar's left. Then, sad music from Dragon's Lair plays as Homestar turns into a skeleton.}

STRONG BAD: Aw, man!

{Homestar's skeleton collapses.}

STRONG BAD: Mooooom! Can I have 75 more dollars in quarters?

{Homestar returns to normal with a flash. A box reading "Strong Bad as Viewtiful Joe" appears.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey, Strong Sad! I really tend to like your Bill Murray from cartoon Ghostbusters from the voice of Garfield: The Movie dot com costume! Never before has one voice so embodied {half-closes his eyes with orange eyelids, resembling Garfield} half-closed eyelids.

STRONG BAD: Do I even wanna know how you and Pom Pom are pulling this costume off?

COACH Z: I can assure you: you do not.

{Pom Pom's head pops out.}

POM POM:{bubbles}

COACH Z: Get back in there!

{One of the costume's hands pushes Pom Pom's head back in. The box disappears and reappears next to The Poopsmith, reading "Poopsmith as a Sea Monkey".}

THE KING OF TOWN: Y'all think that's the Poopsmith...

HOMESTAR RUNNER:{whispering} This is gonna be about food.

THE KING OF TOWN: But in reality...

HOMESTAR RUNNER: It's gonna be about food.

THE KING OF TOWN: I finally bred sea monkeys large enough to make sea monkey po'boys!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yup, I told ya: about food.

{Cut to Homsar standing on Homestar's porch.}

HOMSAR: IIiiIIiiII've got hyperlinks stashed-a-mundo!

{The box appears reading "Homsar as David St. Hubbins". Homestar pokes out of the door.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey, Homsar! I really like your "Doug Henning made his own mustache disappear" costume! {Goes back inside, but then immediately pops out again} It's really good! {Goes back inside, waits a moment, and then pops out again} It’s a really good costume!

{He goes back inside one final time as the scene cuts back to The Field. The box appears next to the King of Town, reading "King of Town as Little Debbie".}

BUBS:{flailing his arms wildly} Check it out check it out check it out check it out check it out check it out check it out check it out check it out check it out!

{The scene cuts to a fake "Up Next" screen for "The Cheat Commandos Arbor Day Special", showing the Homestar puppet with a single cyclops eye in place of its usual eyes, and figurines of Reynold, Gunhaver, and Silent Rip in its mouth. After a few seconds, cut to a Yonder Website scene. Character 1 walks along and finds a familiar-looking giant ball of fluff.}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: Say, what's that, Character 1? Why, it looks like someone's left out the cushion from a papasan chair, that's right.

{Character 1 leans on the fluff.}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: Real comfortable. Take a nap.

{Mr. Poofers's eyes and tongue appear in the "fluff". Character 1 jumps back.}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: Say, that's no cushion!

{Mr. Poofers stands up.}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: Why, it's some sort of beast of the apocalypse!

{Mr. Poofers yawns.}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: Say, Beast of the Apocalypse!

{Mr. Poofers opens his eyes upon being addressed.}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: You look like you might need to be a little bit appeased.

{Mr. Poofers puffs his fur out.}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: Is that right? Well, you know what that means, Character 1!

{An orange falls from the sky in front of Character 1.}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: A little bit of sacrificial fruit, that's right.

{Character 1 catches the orange as Mr. Poofers turns around and opens his mouth. Character 1 throws the orange into his mouth.}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: Make an offering. Avert the apocalypse. Far out.

Fun Facts

Trivia

This is the first Halloween toon to have two main characters share one costume.

Remarks

Likewise, Strong Bad also was responsible for his share of the deaths in Homestarloween Party, and frequently kills characters off in violent ways writing Teen Girl Squad.

Strong Mad mentions Judge Dredd. It is usually the Poopsmith who dresses in Judge Dredd-themed costumes; he wore a Judge Dredd helmet in Ever and More! and dressed as the Mean Machine Angel in I Killed Pom Pom.

Goofs

The end scene says that Coach Z and Pom Pom are dressed up as "Missy Elliot", whose last name is spelled with two T's.

Inside References

The name "Mr. Poofers" was previously used in Fan Costumes '06 to refer to a fluffy, white dog wearing a Homestar Runner costume.