‘Cookie Claus’

Published: Wednesday, December 26, 2012 at 9:13 a.m.

Last Modified: Wednesday, December 26, 2012 at 9:13 a.m.

’Twas the week before Christmas, and all through the schoolhouse, the students were pretending to be Santa himself, and these youngsters seem to know plenty about that jolly old elf. The Mountains to Molehills columnist asked students at Mills River Elementary School to pretend to be Santa and answer our questions, and oh, what rolls off their tongues.

Today’s Mountains to Molehills column is a collection of their answers, which clear up a few things about the Claus family.

But someone is counting, and Mattie says Santa is a ripe old “Five thousand and five hundred and eighty-nine” years old. At that age, Mela writes, “I say live forever.”

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Have you ever had to skip a year of bringing presents to good little boys and girls because you had the flu?

“Never,” says Ethan, who has a backup plan just in case.

“An elf could do it,” he promises. And there’s always “Mrs.

Claus” to deliver presents in case Santa has the flu, according to Karlee. A determined Riley says, “I would still go to their house, but I try to sneeze because they have a cat, and I’m allergic to cats.” And when there is sickness, “Christmas magic makes me feel better,” says Zachary.

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Santa, how many cookies do you eat on Christmas Eve?

The kitchens are going to be working overtime for Madison, whose order is for “10,000” cookies. But only “eight” for Makayla. “It depends,” answers Montana, “on how full I am.” And there’s no limit for Luke, who says, “Well, as much as I can eat.”

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Why do you only bring presents once a year?

“It’s hard for my elves to make toys, and it takes a year,” explains Kayla. More than once a year might get boring, and Jackson says, “If I bring them all the time, it would not be special.” Then there’s the reindeer problem. “My reindeer have to sleep,” says Ben.

And Zachary says “because in the spring it is too hot for the reindeer.” Those elves, however, are trouble, according to Alyssa, who says they “whine too much about making presents.” Anessia, however, is positive that “Christmas is once a year, and it is Jesus’ birthday.”

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What do I have to do to become an elf?

“Be naturally born as an elf,” says Avery. “You have to be born in the North Pole, make presents fast and be prepared for anything,” says Jake. Or, according to Morgan, “Grow pointed ears, get short, and move to the North Pole.” “Shrink, quit school and make toys,” answers Ashley.

It also helps, says Kilah, if you “become an artist.” “You have to be good and show me you can make toys fast,” answers Jada. There’s more to it, according to Emma, who says, “You have to get into my bag when you are a baby, and if I get to the North Pole before I find you, we will raise you as an elf.” It also helps, says Kila, to “have good grades.

And Alyssa says you must “be as small as my waist and have ears as big as my head.”

<p>'Twas the week before Christmas, and all through the schoolhouse, the students were pretending to be Santa himself, and these youngsters seem to know plenty about that jolly old elf. The Mountains to Molehills columnist asked students at Mills River Elementary School to pretend to be Santa and answer our questions, and oh, what rolls off their tongues.</p><p>Today's Mountains to Molehills column is a collection of their answers, which clear up a few things about the Claus family.</p><p>◆</p><p>What is Mrs. Claus' first name?</p><p>Ethan and Kevin say Debra, but Laurel has something sweeter in mind — “Cookie Claus.” “Charity,” says Ava.</p><p>But “Merry Claus” gets Jamie's nod of approval. Addison is calling the Mrs. “Cinderella,” and Duane is quite sure it's simply “Mrs. Santa Claus.”</p><p>◆</p><p>Santa, how old are you?</p><p>“I am older than the Easter bunny but younger than the tooth fairy,” says Karly.</p><p>“One hundred and twentyfive,” declares Abbie. Santa is a young “twenty-three” years old, according to Anna.</p><p>“Two thousand and twelve,” says Emily. But who's counting? “I live forever, so I don't keep track,” answers Jackson.</p><p>But someone is counting, and Mattie says Santa is a ripe old “Five thousand and five hundred and eighty-nine” years old. At that age, Mela writes, “I say live forever.”</p><p>◆</p><p>Have you ever had to skip a year of bringing presents to good little boys and girls because you had the flu?</p><p>“Never,” says Ethan, who has a backup plan just in case.</p><p>“An elf could do it,” he promises. And there's always “Mrs.</p><p>Claus” to deliver presents in case Santa has the flu, according to Karlee. A determined Riley says, “I would still go to their house, but I try to sneeze because they have a cat, and I'm allergic to cats.” And when there is sickness, “Christmas magic makes me feel better,” says Zachary.</p><p>◆</p><p>Santa, how many cookies do you eat on Christmas Eve?</p><p>The kitchens are going to be working overtime for Madison, whose order is for “10,000” cookies. But only “eight” for Makayla. “It depends,” answers Montana, “on how full I am.” And there's no limit for Luke, who says, “Well, as much as I can eat.”</p><p>◆</p><p>Why do you only bring presents once a year?</p><p>“It's hard for my elves to make toys, and it takes a year,” explains Kayla. More than once a year might get boring, and Jackson says, “If I bring them all the time, it would not be special.” Then there's the reindeer problem. “My reindeer have to sleep,” says Ben.</p><p>And Zachary says “because in the spring it is too hot for the reindeer.” Those elves, however, are trouble, according to Alyssa, who says they “whine too much about making presents.” Anessia, however, is positive that “Christmas is once a year, and it is Jesus' birthday.”</p><p>◆</p><p>What do I have to do to become an elf?</p><p>“Be naturally born as an elf,” says Avery. “You have to be born in the North Pole, make presents fast and be prepared for anything,” says Jake. Or, according to Morgan, “Grow pointed ears, get short, and move to the North Pole.” “Shrink, quit school and make toys,” answers Ashley.</p><p>It also helps, says Kilah, if you “become an artist.” “You have to be good and show me you can make toys fast,” answers Jada. There's more to it, according to Emma, who says, “You have to get into my bag when you are a baby, and if I get to the North Pole before I find you, we will raise you as an elf.” It also helps, says Kila, to “have good grades.</p><p>And Alyssa says you must “be as small as my waist and have ears as big as my head.”</p><p>◆</p><p>Santa, what happens when there is mistletoe over your head?</p><p>(To be continued Wednesday, so hold that kiss!)</p><p>Reach Lou Parris at 828-694-7836 or molehills@blueridgenow.com.</p>