Saturday, October 8, 2016

For adults of all ages

Old. Young. It does not matter. Parent. Single. Still does not matter.
Child. Yep, that matters. Cannot deny that we are all children. Some of
us have lost our parents. Some are fortunate (even though at time it
feels far from fortunate) still having parents with us.

Fall is here. It is a grey, drizzly time of year. More time is spent
indoors. Lives get busy with school activities, sports, travel. Parents
are busy caring for family. Fall is here.

There is a benefit of living into these older years of our lives. We
have an awakening that we never had before, and we sometimes shake
ourselves realizing that we should have noticed when we were younger. We
learn that there is no money, hobby, sport, career, anything that is
more important than those we love. We learn this lesson because of loss.
I, for one, will make this confession, a truth that came to light when I
sat by my father's deathbed. I held his hand feeling the last moments
we would share. I held it so tight, trying to absorb what I could. I
left Darke County coming home to Oregon a different person. I came home
with a tremendous sense of loss. Loss of parent, of childhood. I was
oblivious most of my life to the gifts I had been given.

We all get busy with our lives. Raising children. Making a living.
Striving to reach our dreams. It takes time and energy. The regiment of
everyday is overwhelming. I know. I have been there. I ran the race. I
had the clean home and the neat and tidy children. I was the perfect
wife (with all my imperfections). I had no time to think or act. No,
wait, I had the time. Anything beyond my own life was an inconvenience. I
did not realize that the living should never be an inconvenience.

Please hear my words. The time with those who have raised you, grown up
with you (family, neighbors, church family, etc.) is limited. You cannot
get any of it back. This is the time of the year that can be very
lonely for those who love you. Even the toughest of men and women need
loving attention, to be in the thoughts of their loved ones, to feel a
loving touch. Those who have lost partners hold on to precious memories.
They have an emptiness that greets them every day. Those who are
struggling with a partner who is failing are frightened and lonely. We
all age. We all experience it. So will you.

We parents/grandparents will not ask for help. It just comes with the
'parent' territory. We take care of and bulk at being cared for. We will
struggle and not want to make our struggles your worry. We will protect
you at our own expense. It comes with the territory.

A visit does not take long. A trip to the grocery store. A fall bouquet.
A batch of cookies. A child to hold. A phone call. An invite to lunch.
Anything that says, 'you are not forgotten'. Being included is a
lifeline for someone who is alone most of the time.

So will you help me out? Someday you will be older and experience loss.
Someday you might be the only one of your family who still remembers
the past. Someday you will be thrilled when someone else cares. Time is
ticking. Embrace those you love. There is still time.

1 comment:

Why, oh why, is this lesson so difficult to learn any other way but first hand? I wish your words could really reach everyone who still has older loved ones. I wish they could have reached me when I still did.

Love everyone you meet. Heal a world in pain.

Women's Walk

A journey shared by all.

Join me on my other blog on Neff Road.

Care List

So what is a care list? I had called it a prayer list, but then we all have different interpretations of prayer. For me, my contact with a higher power comes from conversation that takes place all day long. It comes from planting thoughts of people in need in my mind and on my (list).

We all come from different backgrounds, different countries, different beliefs, yet we are all the same family. My heart aches when there is pain in any part of the world. We are all brothers and sisters.

I do not carry a weapon to protect me. I will not give hate or fear a voice by doing so. My heart says that we can only make a difference in this world by loving one another.

So my care list is for you. For though I may not know your language, I may not know your faith, you are part of my life journey and I am part of yours. Together may we go forward, caring for one another and embracing peace and love.