Season 2

Flawed Male Heroes: What do men do when their heroes are flawed?

Mark Pagan

Pulitzer Prize winning author Junot Diaz recently joined a line of men such as Louis CK and Aziz Ansari who had been looked to by some people as being allies to women, but who have recently been accused of sexual assault or harassment in the wake of the #MeToo movement.

These men have helped some men grapple with their own masculine identities and are people who have ‘gone there’ and have tried to attempt being better towards women, especially given it can be hard for men to talk about these issues with each other. But where can men turn when these heroes are also shown to be deeply flawed – and is flawed even the right word given the gravity of these allegations?

Do men need nature to be better men?

Seth Miller

A man going off on a solo expedition into the wilderness when he’s having a dilemma or a tough time or when he needs to make a difficult decision is a staple of so much literature, and especially of fiction aimed at boys. It also seems to be a thing in reality too.

Is this simply a form of romantic escapism or can it help men to solve their problems and to deal with difficult times? And do men actually need to spend time in nature to become better men? An outdoors-y Californian man helps us untangle this, with the help of some great essays too.

men and feelings: how can we go there?

Dan Carroll

We’ve heard a lot about the dilemmas surrounding men and their feelings on this podcast: how boys are raised with little acknowledgement of their feelings or disallowed from expressing or exploring them, to the destructive impact this has when they grow up, be it through high rates of depression and suicide in men or potentially violent behaviour. And then there's the huge amounts of emotional labour that many women end up performing in many areas of life as a result.

Last time we tried to discuss this topic, the co-hosts had an argument! This time around, we’re joined by another podcast host to help us see what we can all do going forward: what are things we can all do to help men who want to explore their feelings, and how should we be having these conversations in the first place?

Note: we are on hiatus and will be back with a new series in June. We will have a few more mini-episodes coming up for you before then.

How can men best help feminism? (rebroadcast)

We just made Time Magazine’s list of 50 best podcasts, and they recommended this episode from earlier in season 2, which is also one of our favorites, so we’re replaying it now.

We explore the best things men can do if they want to help feminism, and the things they should avoid. We also look to the push for racial equality to see what lessons can be learnt and applied to the movement for gender equality.

We are on hiatus and back with our next season in June, though we will have mini-episodes every few weeks, with the next one in a fortnight.

Note: Nas will be taking part in a salon with the website and social network Ideapod, discussing this topic Salon: Why men need to spend more time with just men. It takes place on Monday 2nd April, 11pm BST / 6 pm EST / 3 pm PST with Ideapod founder Justin Brown. Follow the link to join.

Why are we scared of ambitious women?

Sam Baker

Ambitious women get held to tricky double standards; there’s the expectation that they should have the drive and vision of ambitious men but are also expected to ‘be nice’, to care take others and to not threaten men. And women are often harshly judged for many of the more negative downsides to ambition – such as being less considerate of others and demanding your worth – which are either seen as positives or neutral when done by men.

We’re living in an era when there is probably more acceptance of female ambition and championing of women’s potential than ever before. But still, why do we have these impossible double stands for ambitious women?

Note: this is the final episode of Season 2. We will be back with Season 3 on 19th June 2018, and we will also be releasing a few mini-episodes before then.

Live Show: Can Women Break Into Boys' clubs?

Chris Hemmings and Michaela Wain

Former Apprentice contestant Michaela Wain and journalist Chris Hemmings help us figure out if women can break into boys clubs – those industries where men favour each other for jobs and create an atmosphere which makes it hard for women to get ahead.

Michaela runs several businesses in the construction industry, which is also very male, and her assertive drive and ability to crack on and get things done inspired many people during her stint on The Apprentice. Chris has written about macho culture and his experiences in the Rugby Club while at university in his book ‘Be a Man’. He reports on masculinity and how it’s changing and what needs to be done to create healthier male cultures.

Homophobic Gay Men: Why are some gay men homophobic?

Matt Cain and James Barr

James Barr, co-host of the hit LGBTQ+ podcast A Gay and a Non-Gay, posed this question to us and joins as a special co-host for this episode.

Gay men have been gaining more rights and visibility, and yet homophobia exists, both in and outside the community. Why are some gay men still homophobic despite the strides that have been made for acceptance, and exactly what forms does this type of homophobia take today?

As we’re busy with our live show, we revisit the season 1 archive again this week and bring you our episode asking: should men be involved in feminism, and if so how?

There’s been a trend for more men to get involved in feminism and it makes sense; if women are to overcome hurdles, many men need to learn what these are and how they can do their job in creating a more equitable world. But sometimes men who want to help out do more harm then good. Do male feminists help the cause, or simply hijack it for their own gains? Should women learn to cater messages to get men on board, or that part of the problem? And what are some things that even progressive men think about but don’t share about feminism?

Note: Episode was first published on July 17th 2017. We are taking next week off to rest after our show. We will be back with new episodes on Monday 12th March 2018.

Masculinity Crisis? Mark Manson weighs in (rebroadcast)

Mark Manson

We’re gearing up for our first live show next week, so are replaying one of our favourite episodes from season 1.

Mark Manson is a self-development expert and the author of the book ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck’. He writes about how to improve your career, relationships and life in general. He told us about the so-called masculinity crisis that is going on right now; whether it exists, and if so what the crisis is exactly. He also tells us about the struggles of masculinity and how to make it healthier.

Note: The interview with Mark Manson was done on 12th October 2017 and we talk about current events within the context of that time. It was first published on 30th October 2017.

Men and feelings: what’s the deal?

Rotimi Akinsete and Shad Tembo

Many men seem to struggle with expressing their feelings, and with generally dealing with their feelings in the first place. It’s a complaint women often have, but how much truth is there to this? What’s the deal with men and their feelings? Why do so many men struggle, and what can be done about it?

Guests

Rotimi Akinsete, psychotherapist, Director of Wellbeing at the University of Surrey, Founder of Black Men on the Couch

Does gender shape business?

Charles Michel, Alain de Botton, and Emma Sexton

The world of work was mostly made by men for men. As more women enter and rise through the economy, there’s a lot of dissatisfaction and discussion about how things are done; why is everything about achievement? Is making money really the be all and end all? And what’s the obsession with competition anyway?

Many women are forming their own ways of working to suit how they want to do business, which brings forth the question: does gender shape business?

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Are women too compassionate?

Lindsey Adler

Being understanding, empathetic, seeing the other side of the story, being compassionate: these are many very classic feminine traits. But the upside of someone who is too compassionate is often also someone who lets others walk all over them, or someone who doesn’t hold other people accountable for poor behaviour.

Women are often expected to be compassionate and to keep the peace in social situations. Why is this, and what are the consequences if they don’t? And should women simply stop being so compassionate if they want to live more fulfilled lives and help others too?

Can Men fail?

Dizraeli

The pressure to achieve is often a big deal for men across many cultures. Notions of success and failure are closely tied in with masculinity. At the same time, the past decade has seen huge changes in the global economy, and together with the rise of women, many men are losing their places in society.

An MC and a teacher help us delve into this question of whether men can fail, a question that is key to so many men’s personal lives, as well as the big social and political changes taking place right now.

can we get self-worth from sex?

Rose and Gail Reid

We explore some differing experiences: from a young man who tried to get respect from men through sleeping with women, to sex in a long term monogamous relationship, to the in-betweens. And can we ever really get self-worth from sex in the first place?

How can men Best help feminism?

Jackson Katz

We kick of season two with a question for men who want to be better allies to women: how can men best help feminism?

It’s a pivotal moment in history, and so many men want to help out, but what should they do more of and what should they avoid? And what can we learn from the push for racial equality which can be applied to the movement for gender equality?