Stop the Universe!

There won’t be a Clanger, Cyberman, Klingon or citizen of Button Moon who won’t be sitting back on the sofa and tuning into BBC Alba this lunchtime.

They will all be desperate to see how the awesome might of Dave King’s ‘over-investment’, and the finest group of free-transfers ever assembled can combine with The Warbmeister’s managerial genius to produce something truly revolutionary and utterly transform how everyone perceives the Beautiful Game.

Yes folks, the hype will take a brief rest as the New Improved ‘Doing Whatever It Takes’ Sevco take to the pitch to destroy Hibs in the first round of the Perpetual Failure Cup, and set up a Quadruple-winning season that will leave everyone else in Scottish football whimpering in a corner.