My Camera Phone Will Not Be Denied: Amy Sedaris, Borders, NYC

Sunday, December 5

My Camera Phone Will Not Be Denied: Amy Sedaris, Borders, NYC

So I headed on down (up) to Columbus Circle last Thursday because Amy Sedaris was going to be doing craft demonstrations at Borders to promote her new book Simple Times. My goal in going was, of course, to buy a book and get it signed. My real goal in going, though, was to deliver into Amy Sedaris's hands my book, Tune in Tokyo, because you can never have too many celebrities holding your book publicly, and Amy would be the first. She had said during her presentation that she was not interested in receiving crafts from folks because she has too many already and will just strip any crafty things she's given for parts and throw the rest away (in several different trash cans so as not to hurt anyone's feelings). So she was clearly trying to keep to a minimum the number of things she would have to schlep home. What is a desperate, conniving author with a hidden agenda to do?

I waited in line for over an hour, and finally got to the table where she sat. She said hello and I greeted her with my trump card: "Hi! We went to the same high school! And we both had Mr. Armagida!" This would get her to like me, and perhaps trust me. We had a very abbreviated chit-chat about Sanderson High School while I got up the courage to give her my dumb book. Then the time came because the Borders employee was getting antsy to move things along (see the manically gesturing hand in the photo above).

"So," I said, "I know you don't want any crafts, but would you like a funny little book?" I asked, sweaty and panting.

"Sure, absolutely!" she said with what seemed like actual sincerity, but who knows? Anyway, I gave her my book, told her I wrote it, and pointed out that I'd signed it for her already so she didn't need to ask me to. Then the Borders employee tapped me on the shoulder because they were ready to take our picture with my camera phone, which I'd given to them before I stepped up to the table. So I turned to the camera and tried to dislodge my hand from my bag strap or whatever (I was holding her book, my bag, and my bicycle helmet, and I'd just given her my book, so I was a little bit tangled up) so I could give a thumbs up or something, but I was kind of stuck. So it looks like I'm totally gaying it up in the photo below, but I'M NOT GAYING IT UP SO STOP SAYING THAT. The important thing to notice in the picture, though, is that the book she's flipping through is MINE. Mission accomplished.

I took the below videos of her demonstrations, which were great even though I couldn't really see what was going on. The audio is great, so listen and learn.