Understanding Spiritual Sexuality

In this compilation of blog posts, I'm offering thoughts about probably one of the most under-appreciated aspects of mainstream spirituality: spiritual sexuality. It isn't about finding some new way to titillate yourself (although it can be amazing), and it certainly has nothing to do with denying or abusing aspects of your body. Spiritual sexuality is ultimately about oneness and experiencing that oneness within your own energy body as well as potentially with a partner. Spiritual sexuality can be enjoyed deeply, lovingly, and profoundly with or without a partner, and I know that idea is a revelation for some of you. In general, I often encourage people to start their practice with themselves to go deeply and heal all levels of separation and issues in themselves before bringing in a partner. But before I really get talking, here are the blogs where I like to start people in orienting to this incredible space that we all can enjoy.

It's All About Sex

Blog #1:Spiritual Sexuality 101
Before we can get too far on this topic, it's important to simply define our terms and to give a brief overview of just a few of the openings sexuality offers into our lives, our bodies, our hearts, and our energy. It is so much more than just an exchange of fluids with someone else to create a baby, and it is more than just pleasure seeking. In this blog, I hope you come away with an idea of the breadth of possibility that your sexuality naturally offers you.

This is an excellent blog post to help people who are new to the concept of spirituality and sexuality. I lay down a lot of foundation to help people understand what it is. Even if you think you already know what it is, I'd encourage you to read this one first before moving on to the other sexuality posts.

To date, this has been my most popular blog post. It obviously struck a chord. Deep down, I think we all know that total abstinence with no sexual interaction with even ourselves is dysfunctional, and the general lack of partnered-sex that goes on for many people isn't healthy either. This blog takes on more issues around sexual shame, which is a terrible thing to have weighing down our energy bodies. There's nothing good about shame. It's one of the lowest and heaviest energy forms out there, and it crushes so many people. A personal sexual practice can be challenging if you have a lot of shame, but the freedom you get from a regular practice to clear that shame will be equally immense.

How we get into a space and prepare for it often makes a big difference in the experiences that we have. This spiritual sexuality blog post talks about different way to prepare to be in this sacred space, primarily targeted for your personal practice. Yoga, journaling, and meditation can all be used to help yourself open up and enhance the sexual energy flow inside you. This may bring revelations, deep healing, or even enlightenment.

In this post, I start to get into some of the ways of being with a spiritual sexual practice. Setting up a framework around this kind of spiritual work is really important. This is where I reinforce for men the difference between orgasm and ejaculation--this tends to be a big sticking point. It also shows for guys that this process is pretty different than your average 5 minutes in the shower masturbating session. Actually, some practices recommend that you learn how to be with your body for at least 25 minutes before orgasm. I've found that you need a certain length of time and breathwork before you really get the energy body open and flowing, which allows for a large orgasm (essentially orgasm is an energy release--not just a bunch of muscles spasming together).

Transformation and Spiritual Sexuality

I hope these posts give you a little bit of a foundation to building a personal spiritual sexual practice. It's a beautiful thing to create, and it makes lots of amazing space to share with a partner. But take it slow. This energy is life-creating and life-changing. It's not a silly toy to have fun with, so be prepared for your life to shift as you delve deeply into this transformative space.