20 May 2009

On the wise advice of my husband and my writerly colleagues, I'm taking a break from writing this week, with no plans to log into my laptop until the weekend.In the meantime, I've been doing things to re-fill my creative well and take care of me: reading (new Sookie Stackhouse novel), getting re-acquainted with exercise (ow...), and painting my nails (it builds hand/eye coordination, doncha know...).The fact that I'm really enjoying myself tells me I was overstressed from trying too hard. I'm hoping that this will give me just the break I need to return to writing.Just keeping my fingers crossed.

16 May 2009

A very, very, very bad day today. I can't seem to connect with anything I write. I'm on the verge of tears even as I type this.At what point do I just give up and say, I can't do this any more?At what point do I stop torturing myself?I don't know the answer. Maybe I never will.

12 May 2009

For everything I've written lately, there's a ten page limit; I write up to that point, then either get stuck or bored and don't write anything more on that idea.What is it about these stories, these characters, that bore me? I just can't seem to get into them enough to care. For everything on which I've worked for the past month, that disconnect has prevented me from getting truly "into" my writing; I can't get into my own head to pry out these concepts and images.

I suspect my deep-seated fears are still strangling me, continuing to distance me from the camera in my mind. Although despair often tempts me to just call it quits - for good - I'm not ready to give up yet, dammit.I know I can write. I can write well. But still my subconscious seeks to protect me from a host of shadowed terrors.I just have to out-stubborn myself.Twisted, innit?

08 May 2009

Things at work have been nutso this week. To absurdly increased volume add a pinch of downward-spiraling office morale and a few sprinkles of malfunctioning equipment, and voila! One grumpy me!Fortunately, I got out of the office yesterday to attend a training session on critical conversations at our main office. Not only was the session *extremely* enlightening, but it also got me away from the daily grind. Bonus!And today is Friday, payday, and sunny.Yay!!!

06 May 2009

I am, of course, talking about my cat. In addition to plucking a huge hank of fur out of her left flank, her anxiety, coupled with a hefty dose of obsessive-compulsive behavior, has now lead her to start deforesting her tail, as well. Of course, when she does this, the skin gets irritated, resulting in yet more licking, more irritation, more licking....You get the idea.Come Saturday, we're off to the vet. Necessary trauma. I want to make sure some underlying allergy or other condition isn't behind this whole pluckfest. And short of kitty prozac, I want to ask the vet what I can do (aromatherapy, Rescue Remedy) to ease the anxiety rattling around inside that little furry head.*sigh*More later.

02 May 2009

01 May 2009

Yesterday afternoon, after several hours of more (so not needed) rain, the sun finally appeared. I opened the blinds on the western window of our living room to let in some light, and *poof*! Instant cat!I wish I'd thought to get a picture of her, all sprawled out in a pose of very evident kitty happiness.Seeing her happy - and not plucking out her fur - made me happy.Looking forward to more sunshine this weekend!!