I’m probably going to be industry blacklisted for this, but truth be told…I don’t really care.

I’m seeing a trend lately…something that feels really out of sorts for me. There seems to be this movement going on where super “successful” people tell other people that the only way for them to be super successful is to invest in something they may not be able to afford…did you follow that? It’s a bit of a tongue twister! Here’s the deal: we all start off at different places on this business journey. Some of us have the resources to decide to be an entrepreneur on Monday and have a web designer, copywriter, social media manager and VA on staff by Friday. Then there are those of us, myself included, who choose to bootstrap and DIY because:

a) We are good at figuring shit out. b) We want to learn all the in's and out's of being in business and you can only do this if you’re working IN your business. Or, c) You don’t have the financial resources to start outsourcing just yet. There is nothing wrong with doing stuff yourself, just like there is nothing wrong with being honest about not having all of your financial ducks in order (right now) to be able to afford the finer things for your business. Right NOW doesn’t mean NEVER – disconnect those two immediately! Which brings me to my point… I’m exhausted with seeing people in my industry telling others that the ONLY way to be successful is to invest a boat load of money they don’t have. This hurts me to my soul…personally. Flashback to 3.5 years ago when I was FINALLY making the decision to commit to my business and stop going back and forth between the thrill of entrepreneurship and the security of a job. I started signing up and going to every event that I could find because I was hell bent on learning all the secrets, tips and tricks from these seemingly successful entrepreneurs. I remember one event in particular that was supposed to be a full day workshop on branding but it quickly turned into a 9 hour pitch fest. I don’t mind a good pitch, especially if there’s some value shared in the process, so I sat through all of them with excitement and delight. There was a woman at my table who engaged me in a conversation and she seemed so genuine, sweet and interested in my business and what I was trying to do. I gave her my card and she promised to call me in the next couple days to finish our chat. Well a couple days went by and she did call….and we did chat. And that conversation was solely responsible for 6 months’ worth of negative self-talk, questions about my value and extreme self-doubt. We hopped on the phone and she asked me about my life outside of entrepreneurship and I told her about my children and my husband and how I really wanted to make all of this work for them. And then she flipped the script. She started asking me clarity questions…what was my business mission? My five year plan? And my unique selling proposition? Up until that call I thought I had those things solidified but no matter what response I gave, she was not satisfied. I was starting to get a tad bit frazzled and wondered why this woman who seemed so nice and sweet was now poking at me like an angry child. She said some things on that call that went way beyond professional. She questioned my desire to be a good mother and provide for my children if I wasn’t making a sufficient income in my business, she criticized me for being “unclear and confused” about my 5 year plan and business direction. She outright told me that if I didn’t get help with my business, specifically HER help, I’d be crawling back to my secure corporate job in a matter of weeks and leaving my poor children disappointed in their mommy. I hung up the phone in tears. That evening I emailed her and politely declined her $5000 VIP day since I couldn’t bear to have her call me back to “follow up”. What happened on that call took me down a road that I never want to travel again. It brought up all sorts of stuff about my value, the way I perceived myself and my decision to leave work in the first place. For the first time in a long time I felt completely unsure about the path I was on. Now don’t get me wrong – I understand that in this industry you need to illuminate the problem in order for someone to see it sprawled out in front of them and make the decision to fix it. In this case, I think the illumination could have been done in a far better way. What this woman didn’t know is that just a few months prior to meeting her, I was an emotional wreck. Dealing with what may have been post-partum depression, the recent separation from a stable job and income, the launching of a brand new business in an industry that was foreign to me AND the addition of a new baby to a household with another small child who at the time was considered special needs. The perfect mix for a ticking time bomb… No, it wasn’t her responsibility to know all that stuff or even consider it. However, it was her responsibility to listen to what I was saying and make her case in a way that didn’t tear me down. I mean seriously, aren’t we also in the business of helping, empowering and building people up? It took me awhile to get over that…countless talks with my husband, friends and other people in the industry who told me to put her comments out of sight and out of mind and Just.Keep.Going. And that’s what I did. Which brings me to now… Don’t feel bad if you can’t afford that glamorous 5 star coach who records her videos on a yacht in the south of France. At some point, she was probably just like you. At some point, she probably couldn’t afford her current prices!! Business is a series of processes and phases. You have to go through some rough patches before things start smooth sailing. Figure out what you need for your business right now and look for people who can help you with that. Be cognizant of all the 6 figures in 6 weeks claims…oftentimes it’s taken that person 1-2 years to get to that point and they are conveniently cutting that part out. There is no magic formula or little blue pill…show up, take action and you will quickly figure out what works for you. It’s amazing when people are giving out REAL value and their pricing matches that, but it’s totally okay if you’re not in a position to invest at that level yet. Right NOW doesn’t mean NEVER. If you can’t afford to take out a credit card to pay for that coaching package then DON’T. Going into debt for something that is not 1000% guaranteed is not worth it. And yes this is coming out of my mouth as someone who’s in the industry – all coaching isn’t equal and sometimes, it may not be worth it. However, if you find someone you really vibe with and you can comfortably swing the bill, then do it! Finding the right person to support you and accelerate the growth of your business is super important…and sometimes these are the people who don’t have yachts to take videos on, but rather the people who show up for you with great information, helpful tips, and are accessible to answer a question or two. Be open. Lastly, don’t let anyone SHOULD on you. “You should be doing this” and “you should be doing that” and “you should be investing copious amounts of money into coaching or else you won’t be successful.” Entirely untrue. As with all things, business is what YOU make it. Success is what YOU make it. Silence the “shoulders” and get on with making your mark. – Shakima