Sexual Abuse Support Group

Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...

Hating this

I don't know how to feel anymore. Or what to feel. I know my feelings are all wrong but I can't just instantly change and hate my dad. I really still find it hard to see why something I agreed to was so wrong. People agree to do things they don't want to all the time and they get rewarded for it. Like taking the rubbish out. And getting pocket money. Well my dad did other stuff as a reward for the bits I didn't like. It's the same thing really. Nobody's ever logical anymore. I don't want to feel anything cos everyone's ashamed of me so I should be ashamed of myself.. I want to die.

Please don't be angry with yourself I always go over the fact that it was my fault when I was attacked but I realised it isn't my fault and because I thought it was my fault it's developed into something that I mentally go through everyday like thinking everything is my fault. You did not know what to do he is your dad soemone we are suppose to trust and love. You wouldn't have known any better please dont feel like you want to die because it really isn't your fault.

Don't be ashamed of yourself. You've done nothing wrong. It's not wrong to still love your dad, but it's not healthy to enjoy the intimacy with him. Lots of people still feel love towards people who have really hurt them, so you're not alone. I really think getting into therapy would help you with your mixed emotions. And later on when you've figured everything out, maybe you and your dad can have a relationship again, but in a healthy father-daughter way.

Hi Adelina... I have been through the father-daughter sexual abuse like you have. It happened to me when I was a little girl until about middle school. I feel like it is my fault all the time. I remember him MAKING and FORCING me to &quot;enjoy&quot; it. I had no choice. I was a child and had no ability to give permission or even know if it was right or wrong because I was simply a child. I feel guilty because of how me made me enjoy it sometimes and because it happened for so long. I feel like I allowed it to, but what I have come to understand is that he was my father. I expected intimacy from him, he just took it to a place that is unnatural and wrong and took advantage of my vunerability. It is not wrong to want intimacy from your father, but there is a line that he crossed and blurred for you even now. I am so sorry he did this. Just know that what you are feeling - all the confusion - is something that I went through also. If you just keep asking questions, exploring, and talking about what happened to you slowly things start to uncover and become understandable. If you need to talk, let me know. I can talk about anything.

hi
I know what you are going through.
even if you dont feel its wrong though, it is wrong. its wrong because you have to keep the burden of a secret because society says its wrong. your dad is hurting you and disrespecting you even if you are getting rewards. what of your future? you are going to suffer emotional problems after what you are going through. You are going to feel like you dont fit in to society and that you are different. You are going to have problems in your relationships. It doesnt have to be this way but being abused does make life more of a struggle and we have to work harder than other people.
I too felt I agreed to letting my dad do stuff to me but he had programmed me at a young age (earlier abuse and grooming) to be sexual be sexual with him, to be his sex toy. We look up to our dads and respect their authority and judgement. from a young age we are taught to do as they want and that they know whats best for us.
It is natural to still love your father after he has abused you. they are still your dad and like you say they reward you. they give you attention, love, affection or material things. anything to manipulate you to have their way with you.
none of this is your fault. we were innocent victims of a sick mind. a father should have boundaries. they should not be sexual with their children. their love should not be conditional. if he wants sexual gratification, there are millions of women out there that he isnt related to that he could have.
he doesnt care about the hurt is is causing you. he doesnt care about the future impact this will have on you.
we have done nothing wrong. we just had the misfortune of being born to a selfish, perverted father who would stoop so low to assault their own child.
There is nothing for you to be ashamed of. it is your father who should be ashamed.
Please listen to us older people who have been where you are. we have suffered in our adult life because of what happened. it caused all sorts of problems. please trust us.
You cant stay isolated with your father forever. what will happen when u integrate in society. it will be hard. the longer you stay in this situation the harder it will be.
You dont have to hate your dad but for your own health and happy future, you have to put a stop to this.
talk to me anytime you like by the way. I feel your anguish. i have been there. im still healing and trying to rebuild my life.well actually i wasnt proactive with it before and made bad choices like getting into relationships before working on myself.
Please dont harm yourself. You can be happy and heal from this and have a normal life.

A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...

theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??

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