Arnab : "As the 'Anti-Superstition' bill is on the verge of getting
accepted in the parliament, it seems that the dark days for 'Babas' have
started!*Smiles*. Tonight on Newshour, THE NATION WANTS TO KNOW, 'What
will these so called 'Babas' and 'Dhongi Sadhus' do after the bill is
brought into action?'

Joining me tonight on Newshour are my panelists, Please welcome 'Baba
Amjad Khan (Ajmer Wale)', Mr. Aasram, live from Jodhpur Central Jail. I
wont' call him a Bapu now! Also joining me on the show are Mr. Nirmal
Baba and Miss Radhe Ma. I welcome you all on The Newshour.

Arnab : (Raising his voice deliberately) So my first question goes to
Baba Amjad Khan. Mr. Amjad, what would you do once the bill is passed in
the parliament? I've seen your posters in local trains claiming to
offer solutions on any problem in the world right from 'Shaadi, Pyaar,
Naukri' to 'Santaan Prapti' & 'Dhan Prapti'! So give me a solution
to my question.

Arnab : (Interrupts him in between) See, thats the problem with you. You
only know to criticize the policies of the government and do nothing
worthy in general. "Virodh Karna" isn't a specific answer Mr. Khan. You
should be more specific.

Arnab : (Interrpts Abruptly) Look Mr. Nirmal, let me get this straight.
I'M NOT YOUR SON! And you're not allowed to ask questions to me. This is
Newshour, not your 'Samagam' where you can keep asking those foolish
& stupid questions. Answer my question first.

Radhe Maa : "Arnab, Arnab...may I say something.."
Arnab : One at a time Miss Radhe, one at a time..You'll get your chance. So answer me Mr. Nirmal.

Nirmal Baba : "Okay. I was thinking that.."

Arnab : (Interrupts again) 'Thinking'? What are you going tothink Mr.
Nirmal? The fact here is crystal clear that you're afraid of this
questions thats the reason you're all playing with words like
'thinking','but', 'ifs' etc. etc. Nevermind, the NATION IS WATCHING YOU
GUYS...

Radhe Ma : "Arnab, Arnab..can you hear me Arnab..."

*Arnab ignores her purposely* Nirmal Baba : "But I was saying that.."

Arnab : Mr. Nirmal there are other panelists waiting for their turn,you
may SHUT UP now. Lets me ask Miss Radhe Maa some questions..

*Radhe Maa removes the mic and leaves the show saying "This man is a scumbag! Iss show par aakar galti kar di maine!"*

Arnab : As you can see she probably did'nt have the answers to my
straight questions and the guts to face the nation. She feared it may
tarnish her image, but let me clarify, running away from questions won't
help. You've to answer the nation! Be it now or later! *Laughs*

Arnab : Moving over to Mr. Asaram who's having a gala time there in Jodhpur Central Jail! So Mr. Asaram can you hear me?
Asaram : *Smiles sheepishly* "Yes Arnab I can hear you...How are you?.."

Arnab : ( Interrupts) If you're under the wrong impression that asking
me about my health and well being will help you escape from my
questions, then YOU'RE MISREBLY WRONG! Mr. Asaram let me get straight to
the point, what do you feel about this 'Anti-Superstition' bill?

Asaram : "Its absolute nonsense..it should be torn and thrown in the dustbin...thats what I feel.."

Arnab : *Raising his voice ferociously* THERE YOU GO! YOU JUST MADE THE
BIGGEST MISTAKE OF YOUR LIFE BY SAYING SO. Mr. ASARAM,YOU'RE ALREADY
FACING CHARGES OF RAPE AND SEXUAL ABUSE, HOW DARE YOU SAY SUCH THINGS
ABOUT THE BILL!!

Asaram : "But you only asked me my opinion.. And I was.."

Arnab : Stop throwing excuses and blaming others for your own fault. You
admit you were wrong and apologize to this nation right away!

Asaram : Okay. I admit I was wrong and I'm sorry for what I said about the bill. *Thinking : Sigh! Ab toh jaan chooti!*

Arnab : So what? So what If you're sorry? You think you're doing a favour by apologizing??

Asaram : "I was just.."

Arnab : NO..... NO! Mr. Asaram ler me complete first. So what if you're
sorry? It doesn't take away the stupid words you said about the
bill...Let me clear the air here, you're guilty and the nation knows it.
No need for any apology, they're never going to accept it anyway from a
pervert like you!

Arnab : (Cutinng his words midway) THANK YOU FOR COMING ON NEWSHOUR MR. ASARAM! YOU MAY LEAVE NOW!

*disconnects him before he could say any word*

Arnab : *Flashes his typical 'Fuck You' smile* So let me come back to
you both Mr. Nirmal and Mr. Amjad Khan (Ajmer Wale). You both have not
yet answered my questions yet!

*correspondent enters in from the background*

Correspondent : Sir they've already left the show when you were thrashing Asaram.

Arnab : ( Laughs and then escalates into a serious tone) THIS PROVES IT
ALL! These 'Babas' and 'Dhongi Sadhus' keep running away from my
straight questions. But let me make it very clear to them that it wont
help them escape free. The questions of the nation still remain
unanswered. THE NATION STILL WANTS TO KNOW! Okay my dear viewers, I
conclude the show here. THANK YOU FOR WATCHING NEWSHOUR!! I'll see you
soon next time. GOOD NIGHT.

*In parallel universe Radhe Maa is going all ROFL watching this drama,delighted that she left the show early!*

(The above article doesn't bear any resemblance with real life
incidences and is completely imaginary. Any such newshour episode didn't
take place in reality. Thank you for reading it! Your comments would be
appreciated.)

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Hiding my insecurities behind my morbid cynicism & humour. Neither a writer, nor a poet. Not yet. I'm worst at what I do best & for this gift, I feel blessed. Please read my old articles and hate me for growing up and being a hypocrite. And yes, I love you all!