In praise of the toilets of Japan

Smart and polite, these bowls with buttons are designed to please

Winter, 2005, Tokyo: As soon as Aatif Misbah entered the bathroom of his Shinagawa Prince Hotel, the toilet seat lifted and kindly welcomed him. It was Misbah’s first trip to Japan, and he had no idea what the toilet was saying. Bemused, he pushed a couple of buttons on the toilet’s control panel, he says, only to be assaulted by water from multiple directions followed by a warm jet of air. Eventually, he spotted a button, with a music key on it. He pressed it and the toilet stopped talking. But then it started playing music.

The phenomenon was a fully-automated toilet, versions of which have been installed in more than three-quarter of homes in Japan. Integrating a bidet with the toilet seat was only the beginning. Today, you will find toilets that come with seat warmers, deodorizers, blow dryers, water-jet adjustments and even a ‘sound princess’, which simulates flushing to mask the noise made while urinating. It doesn’t end there: some variants also measure sugar and hormone levels in the urine, which the toilet can email to the doctor over Wi-Fi! Very helpful for women trying to conceive.

“In Japan, a washlet is a de facto standard and even a tiny studio whose monthly rent is about $500 equivalent has a washlet preinstalled,” says Tomoe Ishizumi, an entrepreneur based in Bay Area, California. The alumnus of Harvard Business School proudly claims to be a “fan” of the washlet.

It’s clearly a cultural thing. “I think it is the Japanese hygiene culture that made the washlet successful. For example, people in the country prefer to have separate hand towels for everyone in the family. And besides, winters are very cold in Japan. The washlet’s warm water function is a good sales point too,” says Mari Akashi.

How popular are these? The washlets, as these smart toilets are popularly known, are found on trains, at railways stations, city halls, parks, schools as well as in public toilets on the streets of Japan. Only goes to prove that you’re never too far from the legendary Japanese hospitality.

Next: 15 incredible things you’ll want to try in Japan

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Visit the ‘Tomb of Jesus Christ’

Yes, we’re talking Japan, not Jerusalem. Local lore claims that Christ managed to dodge the crucifix, swapping places with his Japanese ‘brother’ Isukiri, and fled to Asia. He eventually settled down in the village of Shingo, raised and family and was buried here after he died. Today, there’s a Christ Museum near the tomb with several artefacts that amuse or appease, depending on what you believe.

Get naked with strangers

Quit your clothes and join the locals in one of the several hot-spring public baths around the country. Onsens, as these places are called, have separate areas for men and women. But if gender’s no bar, check in to a ‘konyoku’ mixed bath. It is a liberating experience, they say. There is only one way to find out.

And watch the monkeys do just that

This natural reserve not far from Tokyo is famous for its population of Japanese macaques, or snow monkeys. These creatures climb down from the forest every day to soak in, what else, but the hot water springs. Monkey see, monkey do.

Swim in the spirits

Have you ever dreamt of swimming in saké? Or green tea? Perhaps not. And that is why you must visit the Hakone Kowakien Yunessun spa resort. Pick from among 25 different experiences which includes a wine pool, a coffee pool and a saké pool, which are all exactly what they sound like.

Pay your respects to ramen

You will realise how dear ramen is to the Japanese once you visit the Shin-Yokohama ramen museum. One of Japan’s several food museums, this one displays the staggering range of noodles, soups and other ingredients that have been used down the years. Must visit is the true-to-life replica of the old Shitamachi suburb of Tokyo, from where the ramen craze began.

Visit the parasite museum (but ideally not after lunch)

From noodles to worms—the Merugo Parasitological Museum in Tokyo is not for the lily-livered. The museum has over 60,000 specimens of creatures you ideally would never want to see. From a tapeworms to worm-infected turtle heads, this one’s a stomach-churner. The museum claims to be one-of-its-kind in the world, and we’re completely fine with that.

Watch sumos wrestle

Sumo wrestling is serious sport in Japan, with a high degree of formality and protocol. Tokyo is the epicentre of action, hosting three of the six tournaments that place every year. Tickets are available online or at convenience stores. For a more immersive experience, sign up with tour operators who can get you rare and special access to the sumo stables, where these athletes live and practise.

Embrace the cosplay

From cafés where staff dress as maids, to cosplay girls who clean ears, to shops that sell everything from wigs to Lolita shoes—it’s impossible to overstate the Japanese love for costumes. Head to the Akhibara district in Tokyo to watch this spectacle for yourself.

Photo: Trevor Mogg/Alamy

Hit up the Robot Restaurant

Don’t go for the dinner—this one’s all about the craziest, jazziest theatrics you’ll ever see. Pole dancers, monkeys and robots doing things that may or may not complete make sense. The colours, the acts and the props beat every notion of entertainment, setting the bar for madness very, very high.

Visit a cat café

At the other end of the spectrum are the cat petting cafes, which have sprung across Japan in the last 12 years. You pay for the petting and the coffee comes free. Who is the master again?

Climb Mt Fuji

One of the world’s most famous active volcanoes is open to climbers for barely two months each year, and even then there’s always the looming threat of an eruption. Go if you dare.

Enjoy geisha hospitality

One of the world’s more fascinating traditions centres around geishas, who are professional hostesses and entertainers. Gion district in Kyoto has perhaps the country’s most popular settlement of geishas. Visit one of the many traditional teahouses in the area to experience geisha hospitality.

Go to ninja school

If the turtles can, so can you, right? Sign-up for a half-day crash course in the art of stealth at one of the several ninja training schools across Tokyo. Don the garb, hear the stories, and learn some nifty moves. Being a ninja is serious business, we think.

Take a Murakami tour of Tokyo

If you do what everyone’s doing, you’ll see what everyone’s seeing. For a different side of Tokyo, sign up for one of the many tours that to see the city from Murakami’s eyes. From the jazz bars he ran with wife Yoko to the several streets, cafes and other places referenced in his books, this one is a must-do for all Murakami fans.

Toast to the world’s #1 whiskey

The Yamazaki Single Malt Sherry Cask was crowned the world’s best whiskey in 2013. The distillery on the outskirts of Kyoto is the oldest in the country and is worth a visit. Sign up for a tour to see how the world’s best whiskey is made.