I am interested losing my virginity, although I don't want it to be painful. When I masturbate, I noticed that I can barely get three fingers in, (on another note I've never been able to get a menstrual cup in). I noticed someone recently posted a topic similar to this, although I have an anatomy related question. When three fingers are in, I noticed that the reason I can't get more in is because of a piece of skin that goes around the inside in an o shape, at it is very taught. I tired figuring out by reading vaginal anatomy websites, but none of them mentioned this. I thought it might be my hymen, but it seems based on what I read that hymens are thin membranes that are easily broken, but whatever I have seems very strong. So what I'm wondering is what is it and how do I get it to be wider.

While we can't say for certain what you're feeling, although it does sound like it might be your vaginal corona (which is another name for the hymen). While the vaginal corona is a flexible membrane rather than a brittle one (it doesn't actually break in the way that many people assume it does), some people have one that's on the thicker side, or one that's not all the way worn away when they first encounter it. You can get a sense of what the Corona looks and feels like here: My Corona: The Anatomy Formerly Known as the Hymen & the Myths That Surround It . Have you ever done a self-exam with a mirror to see if that helped you figure out what you were feeling? And have you had a visit with an OB-GYN?

Too, it may help to know that painful sex, whether that's vaginal intercourse or something like manual sex, has a lot more to do with things like communication, relaxation, and lubrication than anything else. You can read all about why that is here: From OW! to WOW! Demystifying Painful Intercourse

the abouts:

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