Career strategies of high earners

I mentioned in my last post that I read Barbara Stanny’s “Secrets of Six-Figure Women.” Stanny interviewed 150 women who earn more than $100,000 annually and sought to find what traits, experiences and motivators they shared in common.

Unlike most books, this one didn’t take me three months to finish. It’s a fast read, and I think that has a lot to do with how relatable it is. I’m not saying I fit the bill for every six-figure trait Stanny has outlined; but you can’t help but compare yourself to the high-earning women she’s interviewed.

Although the book is meant to empower women, I think much of Stanny’s research is every bit as helpful to men. Here are the strategies and milestones of high earners Stanny outlines in the book. Some of them hit home; others I questioned. Tell me what you think.

Declaring your intention

Stanny says all the high-earners she interviewed got their start by declaring an intention to profit.

“Each women would describe that point in her life when she says to herself, ‘It’s time to make some money.’â€¦ When you recognize the power of the profit motive, you take your first major step toward financial success.”

Six-figures or not, I think most of us can relate to this one. At an early age, I decided I would grow up to earn a healthy living. There was so much we couldn’t afford when I was kid; I wanted to be comfortable enough to afford those things as an adult. Whether it’s getting rich, earning more or simply getting out of debt, I think most of us have experienced this milestone. For high earners, this is just the beginning.

Letting go

Stanny uses the metaphor of hanging on the edge of a cliff. If you could just let go, you’ll experience all kinds of high-earning opportunities, but most of us are too terrified to stop clinging. It’s simple: “You must let go of where you are to get to where you want to go.”

Sometimes the cliff is a low-paying but stable job. Sometimes it’s an unhealthy relationship — the cliff is whatever keeps you from taking the plunge into success.

“How do you know when you’ve been holding on too long to a ledge? There’s one irrefutable clue. Whenever you feel stuck, it’s time to let go.”

In my decision to pursue a different career, “letting go” was the most difficult part. I had good friends, a decent-paying job, and I lived near my family. It was a great life, but I felt stuck. Letting go was tough, but it was worthwhile.

“Every successful woman I interviewed, when she finally let go (hard as it was), cited that single act as the springboard to higher earnings and happier times.”

As much as I can relate to this strategy, I also find it to be the scariest. Is it always a good idea to let go? Should anyone let go? What if you have children to think about? One part of Stanny’s advice made me feel a bit less apprehensive:

“Take your time. Who says you have to rush into anything? Sometimes it’s better to gradually let go of a ledge than to take a flying leap. That’s often what most of the women I talked to did. Instead of going cold turkey, they released their grip little bits at a time.”

‘Get in the game’

Get in the game, just do it, power through — however you want to say it, I think this is the most important strategy on the path to earning more: the work. Stanny rounds up a few rules for trucking through the heart of the journey:

Decide which game to play

She echoes the words of motivational speaker Larry Wilson, who told her there are two games in life. “The one most of us are playing, called Not to Lose, is an avoidance game. We’re so afraid of taking risks, looking bad, that we never really win.” The other game, Wilson says, is “To Win.” People who play To Win are willing to take risks and, yes, even expect some losses along the way. But people who play Not to Lose are more concerned with comfort and convenience.

“The desire to avoid fear â€¦ is what keeps most of us in the Not to Lose game — and in low-paying jobs.” Stanny writes.

Jump in

Even if you don’t know where to start, it’s important to just get started, she says.

“You don’t need all the pieces in place or your route all mapped out â€¦ jumping in cold can be very scary â€¦ it’s especially disconcerting at the very beginning, when you’re not quite sure what you’re doing â€¦ Unfortunately, a lot of people bail out before they realize how close they are to taking the prize.”

Keep on truckin’, Stanny says, once you jump in.

I can’t help but think of a personal example in which this advice is a little cringe-worthy. As a kid, my friend’s parents opened their own business. It was killing them financially. After some time, the father wanted to back out, but the mother insisted they keep on trucking. Long story short, it set them back for quite a few years, until, eventually, they surrendered. Should they have kept going?

I hate to seem cynical and counter this empowering advice. But what do you think?When does “keep on truckin” become “feeling stuck”?

Grab opportunities

If you start the game To Win by jumping in and play it by persevering, you succeed at it by grabbing opportunity, says Stanny.

“I can’t tell you how many of these women’s success stories started out with a lucky break. The truth is, everyone’s life is full of happenstance. The ‘lucky’ ones realize that in every synchronicity lies potential opportunity and are quick to capitalize chance occurrences.”

Recently, I was talking to my mom about this. She noted that, when you make a financial decision — to start saving, for example — these “chance occurrences” are usually things that are always there. You just see them more clearly because you’re focused.

A couple of other rules Stanny mentions: avoid excuses and ignore naysayers.

“Some of the women I interviewed had valid explanations for why they couldn’t succeed â€¦ the true test of a six-figure woman is her refusal to buy into these pretexts.”

“[Naysayers] actually perform a valuable service. They come to test our level of commitment â€¦ if you’re determined to succeed in spite of these killjoys, then you most certainly will.”

Thick skin is another rule. The author points out that high earners never personalize criticism. Anyone who writes for the Internet can certainly relate to that one.

Negotiate and speak up

Admittedly, this is the strategy I find most difficult. I’ve often bragged that I’ve never had to ask for a raise, but looking back, this isn’t much to brag about.

“I heard this same rueful observation from virtually all the women who were slow to hit the six-figure mark. Call it the Lament of the Latecomers. Their greatest regret was their reluctance to speak up.”

I can recall one instance that should’ve taught me the importance of speaking up. I once worked in retail. My coworker bragged that she got a raise. I didn’t, even though we’d started at the same time and both worked hard. This was the only time in my life that I’ve ever asked for a raise (sorry, I lied), and here’s how my boss responded:

“Ridiculous. This is why I tell you not to discuss your pay. I’ve already given you a raise. I just didn’t tell you about it.”

I kicked my sixteen-year-old self for speaking up.

However, I later discovered that she hadn’t already given me the raise; paperwork proved otherwise. Maybe she planned on it, maybe, but she certainly hadn’t done anything to initiate it. My coworker was earning more for a full month before my raise was processed. “If you wouldn’t have asked, she would not have given it to you,” my Dad insisted. He’s always encouraged me to speak up, and this should have taught me that lesson. Unfortunately, it’s still something I’m working on.

All of the advice Stanny has in her book is powerful and inspiring. I can even vouch for the strategies I’ve had experience with.

But I can also understand how some of this advice might seem too risky. In describing some of it to my boyfriend and mother, they instinctively pulled back their teeth.

I can imagine some instances in which people “jumped in” and “let go,” and it didn’t work out so well for them. I can’t help but wonder, if she had interviewed people who “lost it all,” how many traits they would share with the high earners?

Again, I’m definitely not discouraging — merely questioning. While I’m not quite a six-figure earner, I think I’ve done pretty well for myself by utilizing some of these strategies. But I can see someone looking at them with a more skeptical eye.

So what do you think? Is “let go” and “jump in” necessary for women (or men) who want to earn more? Or can this backfire?Do you have experience with any of these strategies — if so, was it a negative or positive experience?

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I think that there are a lot of good things discussed in this book with respect to career development. You have to be willing to take the chance at something new or different when an opportunity arises, even if you don’t know the eventual outcome of it. I “got lucky” with my career, taking a 6 month assignment in South Korea right after I started a new job. This is without ever having lived outside of my state, much less the USA. It was a big leap of faith, but it ended up being one of the best financial moves I could have made as, I was able to pay off my college loans (at 25) and save up for a new car, while living almost cost free abroad. Plus, I was able to put that international and fabrication experience on my resume, which I later discovered, is a huge advantage in my field, especially at my young age. It has become a career defining experience for me, a go-to topic for interviews, and opened up a whole new world of travel and experiences that I may not have gotten otherwise.

Sure it all could have fallen apart at any time for any number of reasons (getting lost, lost in translation, Korean non-English speaking hospitals, etc, etc), but after weighing the probabilities and risks I came to the conclusion that I would be foolish not to pursue that chance. I’ve been glad that I’ve went ever since.

I’m a “high earner” and a woman, and these are really great tips. I wasn’t as intentional as this book recommends when it came to my career, but these steps ring true to me. I did have to step away from the ledge and apply for management positions even though I had no previous experience and was much younger than my peers. I had to finally (after 6 years) negotiate my salary when my work was proven and I was still making significantly less than those around me.

While I came to these things organically, it would have been nice to come across a book like this – I would have perhaps taken these steps sooner.

I’m not a woman, but I do earn a six figure income. My tips would go like this:

– Get an education that will open the door to a six figure career. This means that school will be more about work and less about “the best four years of your life.” Suck it up.

– Know that you will probably have to move for the job. This likely means moving away from your friends and family. This isn’t fun (trust me on this) but it’s necessary.

– Work hard in school and in every job so that you build strong references. You want people to gush about you when the hiring manager calls them.

– Network like crazy. Job applications are mostly a formality.

– Make peace with the fact that you can’t have it all. You don’t get the power career, the amazing family life, and the free time to explore all your passions and hobbies. You can pick one, and if you’re lucky half-ass one other.

– Understand that you will likely not be pursuing your passion. It doesn’t mean that you have to take a job that you hate, but it does mean that compromises are necessary.

But in my field, you don’t make that unless you’re a department head, and there are only so many openings. Right now, my whole family is within a few hundred miles of me, and many are less than an hour away. I wouldn’t move farther for another job.

I whole heartedly agree, I can do one well and, if organized, can manage to half-ass my way through my other priority. Every day my priority (family vs work) varies based upon the emergencies facing me.

The En Jolie ad lied… if you bring home the bacon and fry it in the pan, you are going to be too tired for the sexy nightgown.

100K is a lot, but it isn’t that much these days. I dunno, if I did these strategies I could probably increase my income by quite a bit, but one can earn 100K without doing them with luck and skills.

Still, I don’t currently feel like doing the things I would need to do to increase my salary… 100K is a lot to live on, even if it isn’t necessarily a lot from an employer’s perspective (given certain employee skill-sets). I don’t particularly want to go on the job market right now. Maybe some day.

When you’re making a lot less than 100K, it sounds like a lot of money. When you cross that 6-digit threshold, you realize it’s not nearly as much as you imagined it would be. You pay a lot more in taxes, your kids are a lot less likely to get need-based grants or scholarships, and (depending on your profession) there may be a need to appear more affluent.

Question for those who have experienced this: How did you find out if you’re being paid less, more, or the same as those around you? If you were being paid less and wanted to broach the topic with your boss, how exactly did you say it?

In my case, I can’t really look at industry averages because my “industry” is so small – there are very few employers who hire people to do what I do.

johanna,
my wife has been making over 6 figures for years. i asked her how she did that in a male-dominated field. she looked at me increduously and said, “i never really thought about my salary. i just busted my ass and was the best the company had”. just a thought. she NEVER asked for a raise – they just kept coming ’cause she worked harder and was better than all of her peers.

These are great tips. Remember to negotiate your starting salary. This is the best opportunity to gain $. I didn’t negotiate my starting salary because I was told it would be better to negotiate my salary a year after I joined the company, and could show how much I have progressed. The problem is you spent your first year playing catch up, adjusting to your role. It’s hard to negotiate a raise in your salary afterwards. There’s no leverage. They can deny your raise, and still keep you as an employee.

This is such a good point…I always get frustrated when my boss ‘doesn’t let me do things’ (I know, playground stuff or what). So, I said I would like to do them and he was fine about it – it just had not occurred to him that that was something I could do.

This is particularly relevant if you are learning a practical vocation – don’t expect people to teach you everything automatically, you have to step up and take responsibility and say ‘I would like to learn about this’ or ‘Can I try doing that’?

Ah! I read this book some years ago, and then drove up to Washington to attend a workshop Barbara Stanny led, based on her book. She even put me up in her guest-house since I was coming from out of state. She’s generous.

I found her ideas very encouraging since I’d been an underearner for pretty much my entire life. The part I think she didn’t address is that some fields of work are simply much more lucrative than others. For the past five years I’ve been earning more than I ever have before. But to be honest, it’s not on account of using her advice. It’s on account of choosing a type of work that’s better paid.

Still, it’s a good book, for both women and men. And I like your post, Kristin.

Ah! Six-Figure Women! I read Barbara Stannyâ€™s book some years ago, and then attended a workshop she led in Washington that was based on the book. She even put me up in her guest-house overnight since I had traveled from out of state. Sheâ€™s generous.
I found her book and workshop to be encouraging and helpful, since Iâ€™d been an underearner all my life. The advice she didnâ€™t give, that I would have benefitted from, is that some fields of work are inherently underpaid, and always will be, and some fields of work much more lucrative, period. For the last five years Iâ€™ve been earning way more than ever before in my life. But to be honest, itâ€™s not on account of Ms. Stannyâ€™s advice. Itâ€™s on account of just choosing a better-paid line of work.

Still, Iâ€™d recommend Ms. Stannyâ€™s book, to both women and men. And I like your post, Kristin.

I think you ask a good question when you say “I can imagine some instances in which people â€œjumped inâ€ and â€œlet go,â€ and it didnâ€™t work out so well for them. I canâ€™t help but wonder, if she had interviewed people who â€œlost it all,â€ how many traits they would share with the high earners?” Interviewing high earners and finding that they have certain traits does NOT translate to “if you have these traits you will be a high earner.” I imagine that there are many who have these same go-getter traits and never make it financially. In fact, I’ve personally known a few. I just read the book Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking. There is a great chapter on failure and another on goals that illustrate this point. I would take these “studies” on success with a grain of salt.

Agreed, grain of salt needed. Malcolm Gladwell had an article in the New Yorker awhile back (I think it may have been an excerpt from his book “Outliers”) about how risk-averse many highly successful entrepreneurs actually are. The risks they take are often calculated to the Nth degree. Not that this post or Stanny’s book are necessarily touting entrepreneurship, but I think the idea of being a career or financial “risk-taker” is highly romanticized in our culture these days.

Yes, indeed. While the book does sound fascinating, there is a very obvious selection bias at play.

She found that many of the women she interviewed had “put it all on the line” to get where they were. She then needed to interview people who did the same and failed – because surely, there are many. The question is, which is more statistically significant, and/or what are the other factors at play that led to success or failure.

Negotiation is critical. You have to be careful in this job environment unless you are sitting on multiple offers, but a little negotiation can go a long way.

Letting go of sunk costs has probably been even more important in my own success. I studied psychology in undergrad and for my Masters. I walked away from a career in psychology for one in market research. Tough choice, but it has turned out well. I then walked away from my second market research job to bet an MBA. After 2 years, my 1st job out of school was 6 figures and more than double what I was making prior to the program. That has forever reset my salary trajectory.

I don’t want to discourage the people this may be right for, but sometimes it just isn’t worth it. If you go seeking fortune and let go of all the other things you might find that the fortune isn’t what would make your life better. In general you should strive to be more valuable, more accurately appraise and negotiate for your value. Calculate your risks and rewards (and their likelihood and choose the optimal path. Don’t let unimportant things become obstacles and carefully evaluate how your important things interact with each other.
Many of these writers/speakers give a much emphasis on creating the energy to overcome, but rarely do they talk about mitigating and flowing around your obstacles. Ease your uncertainty by doing your homework, increase your confidence by recording your successes, make your risks smaller by dipping your toe in the water first. Become better at negotiating by applying for a new job you don’t really need. Make an education plan (even if formal school is not the solution). With the right preparation you don’t need all the Ra-Ra go get em, and that means you’re less likely to fail.

The book sounds interesting and in reading the comments it sounds like it was written a number of years ago – which might account for the $100K number. Like several commenters I look at $100K and think – so what?
If you live and work in the Northeast as I do, a degreed, professional position paying this amount is good – but not out of the ordinary.
It is all relative – $100K is a much better salary in some geographic markets than in others. Someone making $100K in an area with a lower cost of living would be doing much better than someone living in this area – and whould probably have to work a lot harder to make that amount. I wonder if the book deals with this issue?

The problem with this book, and many in the same genre, is that it ignores we are all different and have different personalities. It treats humans as homogeneous, which thankfully we are not. I have learned through experience that for me, I want a job I feel is making the world a better place, and I am also very risk adverse. After my initial college degree, I was an exec in business, which made money, made other people spend money, and you take lots of risks.

I.hated.it. While Stanny’s advice tells you to take risks, I found that approach made me live in a state where I was always worried. Even if a risk I took paid off, I didn’t notice, because risk taking was constant, so you look ahead at the risks you are currently juggling, as opposed to focusing behind you to see the risks that already paid off. There was just no time to pat yourself on the back and relax or enjoy the past success. And even though I found success, I found it was unfulfilling to me. My goal was to make consumers part with more of their money and to make my corporation’s profits soar. There are so many tricks to helping to increase one to spend money in a store.

So back to school, I went–this time to learn the job I always wanted. But this time, when I graduated, rather than taking my degree where there was lots of money to be made, I went to where I could make a difference. It’s a shame that the public sector pays less than half of what my friends make in the private sector.

Finally, as to the information about people making lots of money having thick skin, I saw the opposite. Those in the best positions and making the most money had the least thick skin. The higher-ups do not take well to criticism, but are used to others being very deferential to them–“kill the messenger” is a phrase that exists for a reason.

My ILs are in business for themselves and have most of these traits, but they work too hard all the time, and don’t see huge profits. They are their own bosses, and they work themselves into the ground–without a 6-figure income.

I earn six figures and all of these steps ring true for me. The first two, “declaring your intention” and “letting go” happened at the same time. I was working hard as a business reporter and wasn’t paid very much. In retrospect, it was work that did not come naturally to me, which is why it required so much effort. After years of what seemed like thankless work and low pay (~$30k does not go far in a large city after you pay your rent and student debt, and I lived with two other people in a tiny apartment far from the city center), and credit card debt reaching $10K (I’ve always been debt adverse so this was a low point for me psychologically), I finally had to admit that my “dream” was not for me. I just was not good at my dream job and it was far more stressful than I imagined.

Having admitted that, I was free to pursue something that did come easily to me and that paid enough for me not to go into debt even with my frugal lifestyle ($60K became my new career salary goal). I wasn’t sure what that was so I typed my skills into job search sites to see what came up. I found that financial editor positions seemed to require skill sets I had and paid more, so I took a few editing courses and sent out my resume. My first job was for a small financial research firm and initially paid (despite my efforts to negotiate) what I had been making as a reporter. But I thought it would be a step toward larger firms that perhaps would pay more. Also I found editing a lot easier than reporting so it was a lot less stressful. The job was a much more natural fit. I learned as much as I could at that firm, asking questions like how our valuation methodology worked, how M&A assets should be benchmarked, the types of clients we had, and on and on. I wanted to be good at my new job. In essence, I was putting my reporting background to work with all the research I did. It made me a stronger editor and a more valuable team member. I took on as many responsibilities as I could. At the end of two years, I created a new publication that was well received by our clients. I got a promotion and a small raise.

I was happy with my work but still not paying down my debt, much less saving, as quickly as I wanted. I took a look at the job sites again to see what the going rate would be for a financial editor with my experience and saw a few jobs that said $55k-$70K. I sent my resume. A month later, I found myself in my new job with my “dream pay.” I loved my new job even more than my old and continued to learn as much as I could. My manager wanted me to sit for some licensing exams, which I gladly did. Passing those exams was the impetus to new responsibilities and six figures. I asked to sit for more exams and have since earned a promotion and more raises. Note: I am not great at negotiating. The raises were applied because that was the market rate for someone who has those licenses.

I never aimed to earn six figures. I never thought I would earn six figures in my lifetime. I had a image in my head of the type of people who earn my salary and it’s not me. I shop at garage sales and drive an old Honda. I don’t work overtime or on weekends, and for that I am extremely grateful.

“Grab opportunities” is the most important strategy for me. To recognize where the opportunities are around me, I ask a lot of questions and form relationships with those I work with, take on as many additional responsibilities as I can handle in a workday, and look out for what may be needed ahead.

What about taking 6 figures to the next level. As women, I think it is much easier to rise to senior management or get a medical or law degree and a good paying job. But, as a generalization, or at least for myself, it is harder for women to take risks and be entrepreneurial. I really want to leave my job and go into private equity now but I have a good salary, benefits – overall, for me, it comes down to security.
I have a JD and my first job out of law school was 6 figures. I left that job after 4 years for a 25% raise at another firm. I know I could have the lifestyle I want and most likely make more money if I started my own law practice or went into private equity as I so want, but, on the other hand,there are the golden handcuffs.

I’m in a similar boat. Making a six-figure salary with quarterly bonuses and stock that vests quarterly. Raises are always good but at this point most of that will go for taxes. The next step for me would be to start my own business or otherwise find a way to make the jump to seven figures. I find it very hard to let go of security, but I can see now what the appeal is of going out on your own. I’ve been in my field long enough to be frustrated by having to work within a corporate environment, when I have the knowledge to (potentially) start my own business and do things more effectively.
That said, my husband and I are trying to have a child. I think a likely scenario is that he leaves the corporate world, I get pregnant and remain. I don’t relish the idea of a newborn and a new business at once.

Sadly, 100K is not that much any more, especially in a high-cost area like around the San Francisco Bay.

That said, a whole lot of it is luck, more than most people realize.

I was at the right place at the right time with the right inclinations. It’s not that I work harder or negotiate better than anyone else, in fact, I’ve been dealing with severe depression and not able to work sometimes. But I happened to be around at the start of the Web, and was interested in certain aspects of this new universe, and like programming and technical things and am articulate enough to write and speak about these things.

There’s a shortage in my field, there’s a lot of money involved, and I’m the beneficiary. Most teachers and retail clerks and truck drivers and waitstaff work harder than I do and may contribute more to the common good, but they get paid a lot less and that feels morally wrong.

Agree about luck. But what I find so interesting is that luck is only good luck if you parlay it into something tangible. You have to be ready when luck strikes, and that’s something anyone can work on.

I say this because my current job was the result of coincidence and luck. I was thinking of leaving my last job, and just happened to mention this to a friend. She said, ‘oh, I have a friend at X company, do you want me to put you in touch?” I had recently updated my resume so I was ready — and said yes. I met with him that week, and — coincidentally — this company was opening a new office space the following Tuesday and the CEO was coming to town for the party and a dinner. I was invited to the party AND the dinner, which turned out to be a small affair (about 20 people plus the CEO). I ended up sitting next to the CEO (I was there early, he arrived and plopped down next to me) and we talked for about 45 minutes. I had a job offer within a week and that job has been the single best and luckiest career move I’ve ever made.

There were SO many elements of luck that led to the end result. I happened to mention my dissatisfaction to my friend. The timing happened to coincide with the office opening and the CEO being in town. But I was also ready. My resume was current so I met her contact right away. I already knew about the new company but did more research and identified where I could add value. I was successful at my job and comfortable talking about myself, my accomplishments, and what I could offer. Luck played a huge part, but my hard work and abilities sealed the deal.

What if I had just said “no, give me a few weeks to get my resume in order” when talking to my friend? I would have missed this huge opportunity and never have known it.

Long post, sorry, I just love thinking about luck and how coincidences can change the course of our lives. But only if we’re ready to take advantage of them.

Interesting dynamic about the goal of working. I’d be curious to see what portion of those interviewed went in with the explicit goal of making as much money as possible, versus other reasons for going into a given field.

I think those go for both men and women. Anyone who wants to get ahead and make six figures + needs to first believe that they can and they be worth the money to there company. A lot of people want the money but forget that it comes with work and responsibility as well.

Though when you start making 100K + it isn’t what most thought it would be. If you look at the hours, the travel, the time away from the family, taxes, and stress some jobs aren’t worth the money.

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