If it is true that we create our own reality, then why would we create so many challenges like, hardship, rejection, being the victim of crime and more? Why would we want to "suffer"?

Question 1: "Do we create our own reality?" Is it true that the way we experience life is a reflection of our beliefs? We all know that when two people experience the same event, they can have two completely different reactions. The one can be happy, the other can be upset. Why? Because they interpret each event based the beliefs that they have formed in the course of their lives. Some beliefs came from conclusions they drew after certain experiences, others came from what they learnt from others, including their culture.

Example 1For example we are running late for an important meeting, because we are stuck in traffic. If we believe that we are a bad person because we are late for this meeting, we will feel anxious. If on the other hand we believe that somehow it will work out, then we will be more relaxed. When we are relaxed our brain functions better and we can come up with creative ideas on how to deal with it. We could phone to let the people know we are running late. We could attend the meeting via Skype from our smartphone, while being stuck in traffic.

Example 2Do we attract crime? We cannot say for sure, but we do know that animals smell fear. We also know criminals choose their victims. They are more likely to attack insecure and fearful people than confident people. This doesn't imply that confident people will never be a victim of crime. It only means that they have decreased their chances.

If we do become the victim of crime, we have the choice to get bitter or better. Do we get angry and upset or do we look for the silver lining around the dark cloud? Or attitude will definitely shape how we experience life. It also shapes how much stress we experience. Doctors admit that stress plays an important role in the cause of at least 80% of our illnesses

Based on these two examples we can safely say that we create our own reality through our interpretation of the events in our life. Do we attract the events that happen in our life? Maybe, maybe not.

Question 2: "How and Why do we create suffering in our life?"You know the expression, we believe only what we see. Did you know that the opposite is also true. We only see what we believe. For example: We believe that we are are not good enough. When something happens, we are very likely to (mis-)interpret this event as a confirmation of us not being good enough.

Candace Beebe Pert was an American neuro-scientist and pharmacologist who discovered the opiate receptor, the cellular binding site for endorphins in the brain.

How are we conditioned? Though the beliefs we formed. Some of them are the conclusions we drew after life experiences. Many of them are what we have learnt from others, including our culture.

​Example 3I have seen with quite a number of my clients with the belief that they needed to be busy all the time. They needed to be productive, so that they could feel good about themselves. This belief made it difficult for them to rest. They admitted that they needed a "valid reason", like being ill or injured, to rest without feeling guilty. After releasing that belief, and learning how to rest without feeling guilty, it became much easier for them to rest without needing a valid reason. If we rest while we are healthy, we are less likely to become ill. In other words, these people needed an illness to rest. Did they create their illness? Maybe, Maybe not. But their is a big chance that they could have avoided the illness if they had rested properly while they were healthy.

Example 4If we have the belief that life is a struggle then whenever we have a challenge, we will experience it as a struggle. We will not realise when things go smooth. We just see all the struggles in our life. Does it mean that we create struggle, Maybe, maybe not. It does mean that we are aware of the struggles and that we experience life as a struggle, because this is what we are expecting.

Much of our unhappiness comes from our resistance to what is happening. We get upset when we believe things should be different. The fact is that things are they way they are, regardless of what we think about it. Instead of fighting with what is, we can rather focus on how we can deal with what is. We often resist something, because directly or indirectly it makes us feel bad about ourselves.

In conclusion:The more we like ourselves, the friendlier the world becomes, the less challenges we need to confirm our beliefs, the happier we will be. If you want less challenges in your life, please contact me. I can work with you, no matter what you are in the world, as long as you have an internet connection. ​​

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Being Other-Wise

Hanna Kok - Inner well-being strategist, Brain Gym practitioner and trainer, NAET allergy practitioner and THETA Medical Intuitive shares insights and ideas that can help anybody "do what you love, and love what you do" starting now!Learning to love and accept ourselves, change limiting beliefs and Become Other-Wise by trusting and following our Inner-Wisdom.