[NOTE: This post was written by both Wyatt Arndt and j.Bowman. It is posted here because Bowman won the coin toss with his lucky two headed coin… wait– hey!]

Last week, the Province Sports brass sent newly acquired Canucks bloggers Wyatt Arndt and j.Bowman to the annual Canucks “Dice & Ice” fundraiser. The duo, excited to be let out of the basement, donned their classiest garb, formed “Team Vest” and brought to you THIS REPORT.

Well, it seems as though their one night call up to the bigs earned them at least one more opportunity to wear some pants and file a report… on the farm team.

Vancouver’s AHL affiliate, the Chicago (boo) Wolves (…yay?) were in the big club’s backyard to take on the Abbotsford Heat for a two game series on Tuesday & Wednesday night at the Abbotsford Entertainment and Sports Centre. In the past, whenever the Manitoba Moose were in town, games at the AESC were must-see events for die-hard Canucks fans wanting to see:

a) What the future of the Canucks franchise looks like.
b) What the future of the Flames franchise looks like.
c) How it will look in a few years when the Canucks pound the Flames.
d) Mike Keane apologizing for mentoring Jason King “I… I don’t know what went wrong”.

For those of you who don’t know, the Manitoba Moose were Vancouver’s former AHL farm team before the NHL realized Atlanta having 18 fans show up for games isn’t a sound financial plan and gave Winnipeg the Jets back.

(The "crowd" in Phoenix. Dust off your jerseys, Nordiques fans...)

GAME 1: “The Mancarian Candidate”

The Bloggers:

With our trusty blogger approved iPhone camera in hand, we arrived at the AESC roughly an hour before puck drop and immediately picked up our press credentials. Unlike we had previously thought, those credentials weren’t just fedoras with a piece of paper that said “Press” in them.

(We were 80% kidding about thinking these would be our credentials)

Once we had our press passes, we walked down the tunnel towards the Green Room (which was pistachio colored, not lime green, which seemed to disappoint Wyatt), all the while resisting the urge to show every security guard and rink attendant our badges so they knew we belonged. It was exactly like the backstage pass scene in “Wayne’s World”, only we didn’t do it.

(It would've just led to a fight over which one of us was Garth)

In the Green (Pistachio) Room, we met Heat communications intern, die-hard Canucks fan, Legion of Blog reader and all around good guy Grant Notenbomer (on twitter @Gnotenbomer) who gave us our media kits, player guides and pointed out the pre-game buffet.

This is where we faced our first challenge.

Wyatt unfortunately had filled up on three plates of pasta before the game despite objections from Bowman that “only players need to have a pre-game meal like that”, Wyatt could only stare at the food and wonder “What if…”

Resisting the urge to fill up his entire plate with selections from the dessert tray, Bowman instead opted for a nice sensible salad and some rice. Canuck legend Stan Smyl was in the Green Room as well, prompting Bowman to quietly state:

“If Stan Smyl makes a move for the Nanaimo bars, I’m all over them”.

Bowman, content with his dining selection, sat down at a table and saw that everyone else in the room was drinking bottled water. He and Wyatt’s drink of choice:

A can of Root Beer. Such a blogger move. Thankfully there was no “Mountain Dew”. Not because we drink it, but because it’s horrible.

(Says it right on the can)

It was then Wyatt noticed former Canuck Dave Babych in the Green Room. It took incredible restraint for him not to repeatedly go up to Dave and say “So those Leafs, eh? You sure kicked their ass in ‘94.” while asking for a fist bump.

Interesting side note: Dave Babych now rocks a goatee instead of his famous moustache. We assume this is a disguise so he doesn’t get recognized when scouting other teams or mistaken for Burt Reynolds.

(With him in that movie, you wouldn't even need Sally Field!)

Once our feeding was done (that sounds horrifying), we headed up to the Press Box to watch the game. This was an absolute blast. For guys who are usually watching games at home (insert basement joke here), it was a real treat to cover the game from that vantage point.

Although we weren’t sure of the proper etiquette, we were certain not to participate in “the wave” while we were sitting up there. Definitely would have lost us what little respect points bloggers had (which were almost lost a little while later when Wyatt stood up and fist pumped and screamed after MANcari scored a goal).

The Heat staff, led by Communications Director Delany Dunn, did an excellent job making sure we had up to the minute lineup cards, stat sheets at intermission and although I’m not sure who was in charge of the complementary popcorn, they did a fantastic job. Our bowl never went empty. We tried. God knows we tried to keep that sucker empty. But the second you looked way, BAM, that bowl was filled up again. Bloggers call this “heaven”.

We tried to take a picture of an empty popcorn bowl, but the shutter speed wasn’t fast enough.

It’s the little things that made it such a great experience. But we weren’t the only ones having a good time .

Although they had to compete with the Canucks thriller on Tuesday night, the AESC still pulled in a pretty good crowd. There are some real passionate Heat fans out there, and quite a few Canucks fans with PVR capabilities.

We spent quite a bit of time watching the crowd, as neither of us had ever been to see an Abbotsford Heat game, and we were very entertained by the lively fanbase.

Among the things we saw:

– A group of young male fans, each swinging one of their shoes over their head as if it was a white towel. Not sure what this symbolizes, but extra points go to the guy who didn’t have laces on his shoes, clutched the heel and just shook his hand back and forth.

– Two fans wearing red and blue bodysuits (think “Green Men” but… primary colors). It was noticed, however, that both fans wearing the bodysuits were also wearing pants. A brief, intense debate broke out in the press box about the ethics of wearing a body suit, and the final point went to Bowman when he declared “Look, and I can’t stress this enough, I don’t want to see their junk, but those guys can’t be wearing pants.”

(If you wear a body suit, there are rules: No pants, be in shape.)

– One fan kept trying to throw pieces of popcorn in his friends mouths. Eventually he gave up and just started chucking handfuls of it at their faces. At one point he began openly weeping and screaming “why won’t the popcorn ever stop??”

We were confused by this but our attention wandered elsewhere momentarily, and when we looked back he had a full bucket again. It’s like they have Narnia in their buckets. Magic.

(Mr. Tumnus goes crazy for that stuff)

– A lone Toronto Maple Leafs fan dancing in the aisles. We don’t know how he got here, but we hope someone opened a door for him so he could find his way home. It was like watching a pigeon flying around inside of a Costco; You are amused for a few moments before you just feel sad about the situation.

– The most amusing sign of the night goes to the fan who had the sign saying “The Heat is Warm”. We quickly thought up other signs that could be of use for future games such as

– “The Heat is above room temperature”

– “The Heat is uncomfortable but you get used to it” or

– “The Heat is a bit humid can somebody please open a window? Oh, there are no windows… shoot.”

The Players:

Before we get into the game recap, it should be stated that Wyatt Arndt is Mark MANcari’s biggest and most loyal fan (authorities say stalker. Wyatt claims stalker merely means “super fan” in Latin). Anyone who follows Wyatt on twitter should know this. If you’ve ever encountered the hash tag #signsMANcariiscoming when he gets called up, @TheStanchion is why.

Mark MANcari was awarded the “1st Star” for his performance on Tuesday which saw him get a goal, two assists and a 10 minute misconduct penalty in the second period (which one could only assumed was for being “too much man”).

Wyatt was quick to point out whenever MANcari did…anything. Even going so far as to comment on a “phenomenal stick lift” that happened early in the second period, how MANcari had the same water bottle drinking technique as a young Mario Lemieux, as well as having the “best damn First Star stick salute ever seen.”

(Note: To be fair, it was a pretty awesome stick lift – jB)

During MANcari’s misconduct penalty, Wyatt spent half the time as an inconsolable wreck and the other half trying to organize a “Free MANcari” rally just below the press box. Bowman was going to join him, but he didn’t want to make a political statement.

(Proving he has something in common with Tim Thomas. For shame, Bowman!)

Defensive prospect Chris Tanev was back in the Wolves lineup after being sent down by the Canucks on Monday, prompting Bowman to quietly whisper “Tanev time” whenever he touched the puck.

Matt Climie had a solid game in net for the Wolves though his shutout bid was ended at 6:21 of the 3rd period.

Another noteworthy Climie moment came early in the game. He mishandled the puck behind his net and accidentally passed it right to a Heat fore-checker. Fortunately for Climie, he was able to recover and make the save. It was then that we both realized just how well he would fit in as a Canucks goaltender.

(Luongo plays the puck. No good can come from this...)

Steve Reinprecht had a great game scoring two goals (both from MANcari assists) leaving about four people wondering if he was the real gem of the David Booth trade. Of those four people, three were characters Bowman had made up for the purpose of this article. The fourth was Craig MacTavish.

Byron Bitz didn’t have many noteworthy moments, except when he wandered aimlessly to the corner boards just before the Heat scored late in the 3rd to make it 3-2. Not quite T.J. Oshie bad, but his mid-play journey still lead Wyatt to exclaim “Where the hell is Bitz going?!”

Post-game:

We entered into the media scrum after the game to get some comments from several Wolves players, but were beaten to the punch by a few other reporters asking them standard questions about the game and what it’s like playing with a semi-home ice advantage. One reporter in particular was the Wayne Gretzky of reporters, firing off questions from behind the net, from the corner, from the point, out in the stands…The guy was on fire.

The players obviously really enjoyed being far away from the home crowd but still getting a healthy dose of cheers. Not everyone was pro-Wolves though. Abbotsford has some die-hard hockey fans in their own right.

Wyatt and Bowman didn’t ask any questions that first night. It was more note taking on how the media scrums work (Spoiler alert: They are scrums). After watching John Tortorella shred reporters for asking him stupid questions for years, it was understandable that The Legion was slightly apprehensive.

Torts is Torts, but if Mark MANcari were to call out Wyatt for a bad question, he might never recover. Wyatt really wanted to ask Mark why he didn’t get 4 points on the night, but feared for his life.

The gaze of MANcari can have that effect on a person.

(photo credit to the amazing Jenn Parkman. Friend of the blog, capturer of MANcari)

That was all for Night 1 (dear god, there’s more?!). Check back with the Legion of Blog tomorrow for Part Two and find out the answers to these burning questions:

– Did MANcari admit to being a fan of The Stanchion?

– Did the Legion ask anyone a question?

– Will Wyatt and Bowman be captured together on the arena’s “kiss cam”?

(you can follow one, both or neither of them on twitter @TheStanchion and @jBowmancouver).

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