Who is Responsible?

Posted on: April 8th, 2015

On the night of my 14th birthday I went out with a few friends. We ended up going to a restaurant. The table in front of us was empty for 5 minutes. Next, there’s a man with dark hair, glasses, and comfortable clothes on. He sits there and stares straight at me. I tell my friends that we should go home because our parents would get worried. We payed the waitress in cash and left

Of course we didn’t have cars, so we walked. I decided I needed to clear my head, I walked off to take the shorter way home. The next thing I know, I see that same guy that was at the restaurant. I pass him and he turns around. Next thing I knew, I was pulled into his white van. There was a mattress in the back. He tied me down, went to the front of the car and drove to a deserted area.

He put a paper towel over my mouth and I passed out. I woke up and there he was except he had a mask on. He cut all of my clothes off. Next, he started to play around with me, he decided he had had enough and stuck his pens inside me. As I was laying there, helpless and screaming, I thought to myself that I was a whore.

When he was done, he left me there, he put another paper towel on my mouth and I passed out. I woke up on the driveway near a tree, new clothes on.

My rape happened when I turned 14. The day before my birthday, my grandfather ha died of cancer. The night of my birthday, I was raped, but why?

I was raped 2 months ago, the man was caught, but found not guilty. To this day, I don’t know why or how, but I would like to tell the man this: Why me?? Sometimes I wish that I would die because of what you did. You left me with depression and self harm. You left me feeling like a whore and such a slut. You’re lucky your not in jail. Thanks to you, my life is ruined. Burn in hell.

2 comments

Rape is something that happened to you, but it certainly does not define you. I read your story and what I see is a you g woman who possesses so much strength and courage. I see a girl who was faced with a devastatingly traumatic experience and survived. You survived and you can come to a place where you thrive. You are not your rape and you are certainly not any of the negative words you called yourself. You are a beautiful and courageous survivor.

I know sometimes it feels like your life is ruined, but the healing journey can take a really long time. I promise you, healing is possible. Take this one day at a time and eventually the good days outweigh the bad. You are worthy of unconditional love and you will fulfill all of your dreams. You have to move through the darkness to reach the light.

You have a long and beautiful life ahead of you and you may not think so now, but I have no doubt that you will triumph.

I am sending every ounce of love and support I have in your direction.

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