i have no friends

I have a few friends and we rarely hang out and when we do it's just not fun at all and I don't like them.. but it was really hard for me to get them (it took a couple years) and I'm socially awkward so it's hard for me to make friends but i cant help it thats how i am and im doing nothing on new years eve and i spend all my money on cute clothes i like and expensive makeup and i spend time on my hair and eat healthy and go on runs but then i just realized why the fuck should i? theres no one to impress, i just do all this shit and then i sit at home and its so fucking boring and even if i desperately ask people if they want to hang out theres just no one and i have no social life no love life and i feel like no one actually likes me at all and iv cried myself to sleep over my insecurites (body, face, hair) and then just start crying harder when i realize i dont have any friends so why should it matter anyway? i know it seems like it could be worse, but you dont know what its like to just have no one.. just sit at home all day, come home from school and have no one to talk to about anything, no one who will ever want to go see a movie, or go shopping, or just sit around and do nothing with you. everyone has some sort of best friend that will do anything with them, that theyr always doing something with and everyone takes that for granted. they dont know what its like to have no one...

Oh well invest in nice teeth so you can look cute while you smile at all the assholes. Make that a priority. Trust me. Nose, whatever you need to do. Fucking seriously. And then on top of that be a better caring individual then the rest of them. Forget about temporary shit like clothes makeup and hir, invest in long term stuff. You never know when you're gonn be broke and homeless but a good looking face will get you alot. esp. if you have to suck dick for living. That is all.

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