Monday, May 11, 2009

Pity Party, Table for One!

I am having a cranky day. One of those I want to be able to eat whatever I want kind of days. I know you all know what I'm talking about. I'm stressed out, tired, annoyed, frustrated and all I want to do is eat a blizzard from the Dairy Queen, filled with oreos, hot fudge, and mint... oooh yum. I finally feel like I'm out of the fog that I was in last week, which is great, but I'm at the point where I know that going completely dairy and gluten free is just around the corner and I'm REBELLING! I've been dairy free. But eating gluten again has been awesome. Up until recently when my hips started to hurt again, my energy level dipped way down, and I started to feel that all over exhaustion setting in. My appointment with the new doc is Thursday. My ultimate goal is to get off all meds and be gf/cf for one solid year to see where I'm at 12 months from now. That's all I want! Is that really too much to ask?? I don't think so. I'd do it myself but I can't come off the medication without proper doctor supervision because my immune system could go completely bonkers. I really hope she's cooperative!

On Mother's Day we always celebrate my Grandfather's birthday. Yesterday was his 75th. He's been battling shingles for a while now and he wasn't feeling much better yesterday. I'm worried about him, I hope he gets better soon!! It was difficult sitting there with 2 cakes and 3 kinds of ice cream sitting in front of me but if that's all I have to worry about then I'm in good shape. I brought some Pamela's cookies for myself. My uncle took them right out from in front of me and almost ate them! I was like what are you doing?? Those are my special cookies!!! Doesn't anyone understand?!?!?!

Oh Darlin' I hear you. I had another choco-holocaust today with gluten free vegan chocolate chip cookies. I couldn't resist. I kept thinking, at least they are gluten free and vegan. I gave money to a good cause, a small company.

You're only human. Of course you want to scarf down a Blizzard from DQ. It's tasty stuff! I miss the MudPie Blizzards like nobody's business. And the JP Licks oreo ice cream that was blended so it was all greyish and yummy. Augh!

You were smart to bring the Pamela's cookies with you to the party. Next time you have a birthday shindig, maybe bring along gluten free ice cream, or gluten free cake... that way you won't feel like you are depriving yourself too much?

I know where you live, and I know there's amazing gluten free junk food at Whole Foods. There's so much you're not allowed to have already... why not spoil yourself once in a while?

You can also order out too. There are tons of gluten free mail order bakeries. And gluten free websites with great recipes! Why not become a master gluten free baker?

In the beginning when I was committed to GF I was all about the recipes and cooking and baking. But now that I've let that go, I struggle more. You are so right, I'm actually starting to get the bug again to pull out my cookbooks and start eating great GF/CF foods again. Thanks for the awesome words of encouragement!!!

Thanks for being so honest with how you feel. I understand completely - I am also GF and have a ton of allergies and intolerances. Sometimes I get so fed up I want to scream. So I do. And it helps,a little bit anyway! : ) I miss going out to eat, eating whatever whenever, and not having to think about it. It sounds like you do too! And while friends and family can be supportive, they don't really understand what it is like.

I just stumbled across your blog, and I look forward to reading it more often. CHeck out mine, you might enjoy the recipes and information! Take care, and hang in there. Your body will heal, with time. And feeling better is worth all the work, and patience, and struggle...but it sure does suck sometimes.