Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

(After classes my friends and I decide to stop and get something to eat. We are making our way through the restaurant to a table. I’m bringing up the end of the line.)

Customer:*as he grabs my arm in a punishing grip* “My friends and I have been waiting for our coffee for over 20 minutes. You had d*** well better get it for us right now or the next time I see you I’ll make d*** sure you regret it!”

Me:*scared he might hit me* “S-sure.”

(He finally lets me go and I go looking for a manager.)

Me: “The guys at that table told me that they’ve been waiting for over 20 minutes for their coffee and they’re REALLY mad.”

(I am working at the seafood counter of my store when a little old lady walks up.)

Old Lady: “Did you catch these fish yourself?”

Me:*thinking she’s joking* “Heh, good one.”

Old Lady: “Well? Did you?”

Me: “… No, ma’am.”

Old Lady: “Well, which one of the people here did catch them?”

Me: “No one here caught them, ma’am.”

Old Lady: “You mean you didn’t catch them locally? What kind of fisherman are you?”

Me: “I’m not a fisherman, ma’am. I’m a retail employee, as is everyone else here. Also, we’re right in the middle of the Florida peninsula, 45 miles to the ocean in either direction. And I couldn’t tell you anything about the fish living in local lakes or rivers, but I’m betting they’re not good to eat.”

Old Lady: “Well, then how did you get these fish?!”

Me: “They were farm-raised in Vietnam, frozen, shipped overseas, and driven here in a refrigerated truck.”

Old Lady: “What’s happening to America?! When I was a little girl, we used to go down to all the Mom-and-Pop general stores and buy fresh fish, caught right here in God’s country!”

Me: “Mom-and-Pop general stores don’t exist anymore, ma’am. My company had Mom and Pop locked up and burned their store to the ground.”

(I’m browsing video games in a large national department store where all employees are required to wear red. This particular store, I’ve noticed, is pretty relaxed about what form the red shirt or top can take, as well as the shade of red. Coincidentally, I’m wearing a red t-shirt with a local hockey team’s name across it. A mother and her ten-year-old boy approach me.)

Mother: “Excuse me, is the Nintendo Wii still on sale?”

Son: “Wii-U!”

Me: “I’m not sure. I don’t work here.”

Mother: “Can you call someone back here who would know? He wants the Wii really badly.”

Son: “Wii-U!”

Me: “Well, there’s a customer service button over in movies. That should bring someone over. And I think he wants the Wii-U, the new system they came out with.”

Mother: “You want me to walk over into another department and ring a bell?! What the h*** kind of employee are you?”

Me: “I’m an employee of [National Insurance Company]. I’m not a clerk at this store.”

(My school happens to have a similar uniform code as the store I’m walking into. Due to the fact today is hot I take off my shirt, revealing a tight and slightly revealing tank top which matches the uniform the store employees wear. I’ve also been blessed with looking older than I actually am, along with having bigger breasts and curves even though I’m younger than I look. I’m with a group of friends until I wander off to look for school materials — the reason we’re all here anyway — until this lady comes over.)

Lady: “Your uniform attire is inappropriate.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Lady: “Exposing those poor young girls into thinking they have to follow the motto ‘sex sells.’ I demand to see your manager.”

Me: “But I don’t work here.”

Lady: “Then why are you wearing the same colors as he is?”

(A passing employee walks down the aisles.)

Me: “I go to [High School]. We have the same colors except our shirts are black. I just chose to wear a red tank top today.”

Lady: “I don’t want to hear your lies. I want to see your manager!”

Me: “But I don’t work here!”

(The lady storms off and I don’t think anything of it until she comes with the manager.)

Lady: “Her uniform is unacceptable! This is a family place and she’s showing her hoo hoos off with that string tank top! These girls do not need to be influenced by your employees’ need for sexual attention!”

(Needless to say I was ‘fired’ from somewhere I didn’t work and could pick up my check by the end of the week!)