My initial gut reaction to that picture was, "Goodie, you can call for one of those inspirational posterization contests like the squashbag screaming at poor little Asian kid a few days back." Fine, that's still what I want to do.

Taunted as the "blind bastard" at school ... he started by keeping track of the $1 bets on his father's games but soon became the first Junior League bowler in his class to score 100. "They didn't make fun of me at the bowling alley," Gooch said.

Aw.

So there he was at lane 17 a couple weeks back, throwing caution to the lacquer.

"When it left my hand, it felt pretty good," he said. "And it (expletive) creamed (the pins). I said, 'Oh my God, I did it, I did it!'"

His first call after rolling the perfect game was an obvious one. "Dad, I did it," Gooch told his father above the buzz of voices around him. His mother Sharon Viano, 69, said she cried "happy tears" when she heard the news. [Chicago Tribune]