We all watch porn. We all like porn. We don't all need to watch the porn we like in the library. In fact, we should never, ever, not ever try to—not even with headphones and in a distant corner of the stacks—because inevitably your cans will come unplugged and all of a sudden it's Ooooh! OH! Unnng Unng... YES! and you're mortified to the point of physical and emotional paralysis. And you're slamming your laptop to pieces just to get it to shut up and stop playing your fave [insert fetish of choice here] clip.