That Leg Snap Though

A Spectacle of Olympic-Sized Proportion

When French gymnast, Samir Ait Said, snapped his leg earlier this week at the Rio Olympics in a horrific mishap on the vault, I promised myself I would not watch the video.

I. Promised. Myself.

I was not going to make another person’s agony my entertainment like the millions of other people around the world who watched the video so much it went viral.

I would not wake up in the middle of the night when my self-control is weakest, randomly click links, and watch it with a strange, dissociative apathy.

Would not.

Did I click?

Internet 1, Emily 0

Why would I do that? I don’t know. Why did we watch Joe Theismann or Kevin Ware when their legs cracked apart like kindling? (Why do we flock to see Orlando Bloom adding his third leg to the sport of naked paddle boarding?) Ghoulish curiosity. Human nature. The urge to keep up on the latest tabloid fodder with my fellow netizens?

I don’t know why I watched it.

Maybe that’s what the Olympics and sports are all about: spectacle. The triumph and tragedy. The stuff of that cheeseball Bob Costas.

So it’s with great embarrassment that I accept the fact I’m just here for the human interest and accidental stories. Like these…

Gymnast Aly Raisman’s Parents, the Ultimate Spectators

Lynn and Rick Raisman are everything spectators should be. They’re in the competition. They’re living it. They’re giving me a stress stomach ache.

Inadvertently Naughty Hockey Players

Probably no comment necessary. They’re already the butt of a lot of jokes.

Yes, I have the sense of humor of a middle-schooler.

Greasy Tongan Flag-Bearer Guy

Everything’s already been said about this guy on Twitter. But we can still stare silently at the photos. And his abs.

Competing in Taekwon-d’ohhhh.

Uninvited Competitors

“A Sky News reporter tweeted that an Olympic kayaker on a practice run capsized after hitting a sofa. The Olympic organizers are currently investigating.”

Apologies to the athlete if this story turns out to be true. Apparently he didn’t get the memo that furniture would be participating in the race. And that kayaking is now a contact sport.

Kayaker 0, La-Z-Boy 1

Also, I hope he closed his mouth underwater. There’s more than Zika floating around in Brazil.

Like raw sewage.

Full Disclosure

I haven’t watched a second of any actual sports in this year’s Olympics.