A Public
Comedy
of ErrorsState Capitalism
Obeys the Laws of Supply and Demand

Governor Brown, etc.

The
Bureaucrat
and
the Merchants of Venice, CA

(A play in one act. Setting: a table in the Tavern
of the Stepping Goose, Hobbiton, Guernsey-on-Temmes.. Characters: Chancellor of the
Exchequer, Gloucester the Duke of Earl, and his Royal Majesty, King
Henry, former Prince of Whales at Ducksplat-on-Avon)

Curtain:

“Dost
thou
knowest of this apparition, Gloucester?
This thing called supply and demand?”
“No, sire, I do not. Canst thou enlighten me, so
to speak?”
“Aye, Gloucester, I canst. Lend me thine ear and
I shall explain this contract..”

(Stage
direction – the king pours a dram of bile into a bowl of bitter
herbs and hands it to Gloucester, who grimaces as he sips.)

“Here
is
the truth of it, Gloucester. If a man wanteth
a fish, and cannot catch one of his own, he must perforce seeketh
out a fisherman. Yet, verily, if this man liveth far from the
sea,
what shall he do? He will go to the merchant and purchase the
briny
cadaver, will he not?”
“Aye, lord. That is what he will do.”

“Then
what
if more men purchase than fish do swim to the
nets this annum, Gloucester?”
“The merchant will increase his profit, sire, for as iron
is aplenty and gold most rare, it is the latter that has the greatest
value
to men.”
“Truly, Gloucester. And if this demand for fish
takes hold across the realm, which of the merchants shall prosper
most?”
“Surely, he that hath early filled his warehouse with
the greatest supply of fish, sire. The merchant who buys too late
purchaseth from fishermen who know the risen value of their catch.”
“Verily, you speak truth, Gloucester, for this is the
heart of it. The merchant who can predict the future owneth the
world.
”

“I
begin
to see thy mind, sire. But, I have a question.
What if the merchant pays dearly for the coming catch of many
fishermen,
and the popularity of fish at the table declineth thereafter?”
“Exactly, Gloucester. The price of fish will
declineth
as well, and those who bought the fish of the future when the price was
high, must sell their fish in the present when the price is low.”
“But to sell for a price less than your cost is madness,
sire. It is the death of the private merchant, because unlike the
king, he may not tax the citizenry to cover the disparity of his
purchase.”

“Thus
is
it
better
to
be
king, Gloucester, than a
king of merchants, for if the people do not like your price, the king
can
confiscate their property and send them to the dungeon.”
“Indeed, it seemeth so, sire. It is a good
thing that you are not elected to your office. The people, seeing this
incompetence would surely remove thee from thy throne.”
“No, Gloucester. The merchant’s demise is
certain, for his electorate is dollars, which always vote true in the
end.
But the king’s electorate is the public, which is instructed by the
king’s
tutors and informed by the king’s criers. The king may send the
blame
to the merchants or to those nobles who oppose him, as is his
pleasure.
Surely thou knowest that the king is never wrong.”