In this edition, we have Claire Danes and Melania Trump, both of which look like they locked themselves in a tanning bed a la Tanning Mom; Christina Ricci, who, to distract us from the ugly-ass tattoo on her shoulder stuck a big, gigantor bow on her ass; Eva Mendes because she’s a twat and HA! HA! HA! she looks like she’s wearing an off-the-rack prom dress from 1995; Karolina Kurkova, who got a sneaky little joke memo telling her that this year’s Gala was Cheap Flapper themed; and an honorable mention in Kate Upton, who should know to never, never apply her makeup with a stun gun. Laws, that’s bad.

Someone’s trying to suck up to our little gossip blog! Supermodel Karolina Kurkova gave birth last week to a healthy baby boy, whom she named Tobin Jack Drury. (The baby daddy is her fiance, producer Archie Drury.)

Ummm, Wendie’s last name is Tobin, and one her sons is named Jack. Coincidence? I think not. Obviously Karolina is hoping to be the first celebrity parent in years whose baby’s name isn’t mocked on this website. Very smart, Karolina. Very, very smart. Your evil plan has proven victorious. No mockery here. But her fiance (pictured above) totally looks like someone famous, and I can’t put my finger on who it is. Remind you guys of anyone?

The times they are a changing.Â Â First, an African-American president-elect.Â And now,Â model Karolina Kurkova has made history as well.Â I didn’t think it would happen in my lifetime, but she has achieved greatness despite having no belly button.Â This week she was named World’s Sexiest Woman by E! Online.Â Â Â Â

I guess because I’m a heterosexual woman, I never would have looked close enough to notice that her navel is AWOL.Â Of course, now I can’t stop looking at it.Â It seems World’s Sexiest had a herniated umbilical cord as an infant that was surgically corrected.Â Â I could see this being a whole new trend.Â I can’t wait until people start having their belly buttons removed.Â It’ll be the new anal bleaching…you watch.