UEFA tournament gets off to a fine start on day three

The third day of the UEFA 2010 competition got off to a fine start in Poland today.

With up to 22 men and a referee on the pitch at the same time, many of them were seen to be enjoying themselves kicking a football from one end of the field to the other unheeded by the spectators who had immersed themselves fully in the fine art of racial taunting.

There were some spectacularly gruesome taunts from the Latvian side of the stadium, with masterful references to non-white people, monkeys, people of Jewish persuasion and those of Asian origin.

However, the Polish supporters hit back hard, with some fine abuse aimed at people from India, quickly followed-up with references to Islamabad in Pakistan, a synagogue in Tel Aviv and the one-time golliwog on the Robertson's jam jar.

With an off-side reference to Pope John Paul II that stopped the Polish supporters in their tracks, the referee blew his whistle, and the Latvians replied with a brilliant slur on former President Nelson Mandela.

However, in the ensuing silence that followed, Boris Hitler, leader of the Polish Racist Massive, situated in the far right corner of the stadium, rallied with a persuasive vocal rhyming slang, featuring paragraphs from the Koran that he had translated into expletives.

Not to be outdone, Adolf Slobajob, the organiser of the RMLB (Racially Motivated Latvian Bastards), quickly mobilised his troops to mock both the teachings of the Dalai Lama and the Chief Rabbi of America at the same time.

As the match drew to a close, there was some harmony exhibited between the fans, when representatives from both the Polish and Latvian supporters delicately assisted some Jamaican football fans into ambulances using only their baseball bats and camping knives.

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