Chocolate bars, caramel, cherry lollipops
and gummi bears… we’ll warn you in advance: this article might induce confectionary cravings!
• The Snickers bar, introduced in
1930,
was
named
for
one of the
Mars
family’s favorite
horses.
• The recipe for Mr. Goodbar has only
changed once since it was introduced in
1925 - in 1992 more peanuts were added.
• Frank Mars, founder of Mars, Inc., married
twice, both times to women named Ethel.
• Heath bars were included in U.S. Military
rations in WWII.
• The Kit Kat bar was created by Rowntree
Limited of York, England in 1935 and was
originally called Rowntree’s Chocolate
Crisp. It was renamed Kit Kat after WWII.

Page 2
I WANT CANDY! (continued)
• Ever heard of Derry Church, Pennsylvania? You might recognize it by its current
name of Hershey. The Hershey Company
was founded here and it was renamed in
1906.

last term and seventeen years after Ruth’s
death. Many skeptics believe the more
plausible story that it was named for Babe
Ruth, who was at the height of his career,
and to avoid royalties, the name Baby Ruth
was used.

• The melting point of cocoa butter is just
• In 1923, Curtiss Candy Company foundbelow 98.6º, which is why chocolate melts
er Otis Schnering chartered a plane and
in your mouth.
dropped thousands of Baby Ruth bars,
each individually equipped with mini-para- • The word chocolates comes from the Aztecs of Mexico and is derived from the
chutes, over the city of Pittsburgh.
native Nahuatl word xocolatl or chocolatl,
• Hershey’s Kisses, introduced in 1907,
meaning “food made from caoco seeds”.
were originally wrapped by hand. It wasn’t
• Chocolate has been cultivated for at least
until the introduction
three millennia in Central America and
of a wrapping maMexico, with its earliest documented use
chine that the kisses
around 1100 B.C.
got their distinctive
• Medical research shows that dark chocopaper ribbon.
late can help lower high blood pressure.
• It would take ninetyfive Hershey’s kisses
to make one pound.

• The word candy comes from the Ara- • Nestlé, more commonly pronounced nesslee, was originally pronounced like the
bic word qandi, derived from the Persian
English verb nestle.
qand, meaning sugar.
• Outside of America, the English term for • One piece of chocolate has the same
amount of caffeine as one cup of decaf
candy is sweets, sweeties or lollies.
coffee.
• Almond Joy and Mounds bars were created by Peter Paul Halajan, a candy retailed in New Haven, CT. Although Peter
Paul Candy Manufacturing Company is
now part of the Hershey Company in the
U.S., the Peter Paul logo can still be seen
on the Almond Joy and Mounds candy bar
wrappers.

• Ancient Egyptians were enjoying candy
3500 years ago!
• October 30th is National Candy Corn Day.
• Did you know there are approximately forty-two Skittles per bag?

• Over 35 million lbs (15,875,733 kg) of
candy corn are produced in the U.S. each
• Harry Burnett Reese started working as a
year.
dairyman at Hershey Farms in 1917. He
founded the H.B. Reese Company in the • National Candy Cane Day is December
26th.
basement of his house and it merged with
the Hershey Company in 1963. You might • Candy Canes were originally solid white.
have tried some of his candy. He created
• Legend says that in 1670, it was a choirReese’s Peanut Butter Cups.
master in Cologne Catherdral, Germany
• Over 8 billion candy hearts are produced
who first gave candy sticks bent in the
in the U.S. each year.
shape of shepherd’s crooks to his students.
• 5th Avenue bars were created by William
Luden, founder of Luden’s Cough Drops. • The world’s largest candy cane was creThe candy bar is named for the street in
ated by Paul Ghinelli of Williamston, MI. It
Reading, PA where Luden’s Cough Drops
were first created.
• 90 million chocolate Easter bunnies are
made for Easter each year in the U.S.
• U.S. chocolate manufacturers use 3.5 million lbs (1,587,573 kg) of whole milk every
day.
• The Baby Ruth candy bar was originially
introduced by the Curtiss Candy Company as Kandy Kake. In 1921 it was renamed and refashioned into Baby Ruth
and supposedly named for former President Cleveland’s daughter Ruth, though it
arrived twenty-four years after Cleveland’s

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information call or e-mail us
today!
Info@TidbitsOfDenver.com

(303) 688-1987
www.TidbitsOfDenver.com

June 01, 2009
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(720) 436-0095

measured 58 feet 2.25 inches (17.73 m)
tall.
• Original lollipop machines produced 40 lollipops per minute. Modern machines can
produce 5,900 lollipops per minute.
• 76% of people surveyed say they eat the
ears off a chocolate bunny first.
• How many licks does it take to get to the
center of a Tootsie Pop? Several licking
machines and hand studies have shown it
takes an average of 350 licks.
• Gummi bears was originally referred to as
“dancing bears.”
• The world’s largest jar of jelly beans
weighed 6,050 lbs (2,744 kg) and was unveiled in October of 1999.
• Americans spend over $125 million on
marshmallows each year.
• Ancient Egyptians enjoyed an early form
of marshmallows as early as 2000 B.C.
• An average candy cane only has 55 calories.
• The world’s largest lollipop weighed 4,031
lbs (1,828 kg), was 18.9 in (48 cm) thick
and 15 ft (4.5 m) tall, stick included. It was
cherry flavored.

June 01, 2009

Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area

1. MOVIES: What sport was featured
in the 2006 movie “Glory Road”?

• On June 6, 1683, the Ashmolean,
the world’s first university museum,
opens in Oxford, England, with
collections donated by English
archaeologist Elias Ashmole. Today,
the collection at the Ashmolean
Museum of Art and Archaeology
ranges from 500,000-year-old manmade implements to 20th-century
works of art.

2. PSYCHOLOGY: What kind of
abnormal fear is experienced in the
condition known as hemophobia?
3. MUSIC: Which well-known
Christmas carol includes the syllables
“fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la”?
4. GEOGRAPHY: Which two countries
surround the Dead Sea?
5. ANIMALS: How many muscles
does a cat have in each ear?

• On June 4, 1876, a mere 83 hours
after leaving New York City, the
Transcontinental Express train
arrives in San Francisco. Suddenly,
a journey that had previously taken
months using horses could be made
in less than a week. Amenities varied
from plush velvet seats to narrow
wooden benches.

6. MEDICINE: Who was the
pioneering doctor who was first to
successfully use a partially artificial
heart in a human being?
7. U.S. PRESIDENTS: In what year
did U.S. Sen. John Glenn make an
unsuccessful bid for the presidency?

• On June 7, 1893, Mohandas K.
Gandhi, a young Indian lawyer,
commits his first act of civil
disobedience. Known as Mahatma,
or “the great soul,” Gandhi’s
persuasive
methods
of
civil
disobedience influenced leaders of
civil-rights movements around the
world, especially Martin Luther King
Jr.

8. CARS: Which car manufacturer had
a hit with the 1955 Thunderbird?
9. GAMES: What color is the $5 bill in
the classic game of Monopoly?
10. FOOD AND DRINK: What are
the chief ingredients in quick Russian
dressing?
Answers

“If you limit your choices only to what
seems possible or reasonable, you
disconnect yourself from what you truly
want, and all that is left is compromise.”
- Robert Fritz

• On June 5, 1922, George W.
Carmack, the first person to discover
gold along the Klondike River, dies
in Vancouver, British Columbia.
Unlike many prospectors, Carmack
was not consumed by the lust to find
gold. He enjoyed playing the organ,
reading periodicals and writing
sentimental poetry.
• On June 2, 1935, Babe Ruth, one
of the greatest players in the history
of baseball, ends his Major League
career after 22 seasons, 10 World
Series and 714 home runs. When
Ruth died on Aug. 16, 1948, his body
lay in state at Yankee Stadium for
two days and was visited by more
than 100,000 fans.
• On June 1, 1949, Lawrence Welk’s
band begins a two-year stint as
the house orchestra for radio show
“High Life Review.” Though often
lampooned for his saccharine style,
Welk eventually developed an army
of loyal fans and hosted one of the
longest-running musical variety
shows in history.

• On June 3, 1961, Clarence Gideon
is arrested and charged with
breaking into a poolroom in Florida.
The appeal of Gideon’s subsequent
conviction lead to the establishment
of one of the chief principles of
American criminal justice in what
are known as our Miranda rights.
(c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.

Earn a vacation package* good for free
accommodations for up to 7 days for up to
2 adults and 3 children when you bring
this advertisement to one of our branch
offices to open your new membership,
and sign up for 3 of the following services:
Checking Account
Direct Deposit
VISA Credit Card
Auto Loan
Mortgage Loan

*Vacation package includes accommodations only.
Reservations must be made 30 days in advance. Good
for 2 yrs from date issued. Recipient is responsible for all
taxes and handling fees. Transportation not included.
Offer available for a limited time. Certain restrictions apply.

FOR WEEK OF
JUNE 01, 2009
ARIES (March 21 to April 19) There’s
nothing an Aries Lamb likes less than having to tackle a humdrum task. But finding
a creative way to do it can make all the difference. A more exciting time awaits you
this weekend.
TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) Finishing
up a job on time leaves you free to enjoy
your weekend without any Taurean guilt
pangs. A romantic attitude from an unlikely source could take you by surprise.
GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Moving in
a new career direction might be seen by
some as risky. But if you have both the
confidence to see it through and the facts
to back you up, it could prove rewarding.
CANCER (June 21 to July 22) Holding
back on a decision might be difficult, considering how long you’ve waited for this
opportunity. But until you’re able to resolve
all doubts, it could be the wiser course to
take.
LEO (July 23 to August 22) You still need
to move carefully where financial matters
are concerned. Better for the Lion to move
slowly than pounce on a “promising” prospect that doesn’t keep its promises.
VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) A
rejection of an idea you believe in can be
upsetting. But don’t let it discourage you.
Get yourself back on track and use what
you’ve learned from the experience to try
again.
LIBRA (September 23 to October 22)
The early part of the week could find you
looking to balance your priorities between
your family obligations and your career responsibilities. Pressures begin to ease by
week’s end.
SCORPIO (October 23 to November
21) An associate’s problem could cause
unavoidable delays in moving ahead with
your joint venture. If so, use the time to
look into another project you had previously set aside.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) Although a financial problem
could be very close to being resolved in
your favor, it’s still a good idea to avoid
unnecessary spending for at least a little
while longer.
CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) Support for some unwelcome
workplace decisions begins to show up,
and continues to build, so that by week’s
end, the gregarious Goat is as popular as
ever.
AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18)
Congratulations. Deciding to attend a social function you might have earlier tried to
avoid could turn out to be one of the best
decisions you’ve made in a long time.
PISCES (February 19 to March 20) Getting into a new situation could prove to be
a more difficult experience than you expected. Don’t hesitate to ask for advice
in coping with some of the more irksome
challenges.
BORN THIS WEEK: Your strong sense
of duty makes you a valued and trusted
member of your community. Have you
considered a career in law enforcement?
(c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.

New Home-Buyers Can
Pocket $8,000
As part of the American Recovery and
Reinvestment Act of 2009, a new tax
credit will allow first-time home buyers to
claim up to $8,000. Unlike the tax credit
plan of last year (which allowed an interest-free tax “loan” of $7,500), this one
doesn’t have to be paid back.
Qualifying homes must be purchased between Jan. 1, 2009, and Dec. 1, 2009.
“Purchased” means that you actually
close on the home, with settlement completed and title transferred to you.
The credit is 10 percent of the purchase
price, with a cap of $8,000.
Any type of home can qualify, whether it’s
a resale, a new one, one you have constructed, a condo, a mobile home, single
family or townhouse.
“First-time buyers” are those who haven’t
owned a principal residence during the
previous three years. A principal residence is one where you live more than
half the time. Owning a vacation home
won’t disqualify you, as it’s a place you
stay sometimes, but not where you live.
There are income caps: If you’re single,
income cannot exceed $75,000. For married couples, that amount is $150,000. Depending on your modified gross income,
there is a phase-out of the credit amount
near the top of the income range.
To keep the credit, you need to live in
the home (use it as your principal place
of residence) for three years. If you sell
the home, you have to pay back the full
credit.
Use IRS Form 5404 to claim your credit
when you file. Beware: The form is for
both the old ($7,500) and new ($8,000)
credits. Read the form carefully as you
fill it out. That credit amount is then transferred to your Form 1040.
If you qualify for the full $8,000, but don’t
owe that much in taxes, you’ll end up
with a credit at the bottom of your Form
1040, and a check for the balance will be
sent to you from the Internal Revenue
Service.
If you bought a home and qualified under the $7,500 pay-back scenario and
filed your 2008 tax forms, you can file an
amendment to your taxes (Form 1040X)
to claim the new credit. Look online for
IRS news release 2009-27 for details.
David Uffington regrets that he cannot
personally answer reader questions,
but will incorporate them into his column
whenever possible. Write to him in care
of King Features Weekly Service, P.O.
Box 536475, Orlando, FL 32853-6475, or
send e-mail to columnreply@gmail.com.
(c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.

June 01, 2009

Tidbits® - Denver Metro Area

Page 5

When your ﬁnancial obligations get
too big...

Morse & Associates, LLC
is here to help.

Events

Tablescapes - Tea and Treasures: June
4, 2009, - June 6, 2009; 1400 Josephine
St, Denver. 10:00 am - 4:00 pm Thursday
through Saturday. $16 prior to June 1st,
$22 after June 1st. Come enjoy a Victorian
Tea, Gift Boutique, Amateur Table Setting
Competition and Historic House Tours
at the Mile High Professional Auxiliary’s
2009 Tablescapes event. All proceeds
go to support the programs of the
Assistance League of Denver. For more
information call (303) 355-2470 or visit
www.Denver.AssitanceLeague.org
Elizabeth Stampede: June 5, 6 and 7,
2009; Elizabeth. Fri 11:00 am Royalty
Lunch, 5:00 pm-10:00 pm Auction. 7:00
pm PBR Bull Riding. 9:30 pm Live music
and dancing. Sat 10:00 am Parade, 2:00
pm and 7:00 pm PRCA Rodeo, 9:30 pm
Live music and dancing. Sun 11:00 am
Auction (Fairgrounds open), VETERANS
SPECIALS. www.ElizabethStampede.com
Fuel-Fest: June 12, 2009, - June 14,
2009, May Farms, Byers. A bold new
Western festival that merges music and
family entertainment with an extraordinary
marketplace of clean technologies and
educational workshops. Presented by
May Farms in partnership with: The
US Department of Energy’s National
Renewable Energy Laboratory, Colorado
Governor’s Energy Office and the
Colorado Department of Agriculture.
Music, workshops, market place and expo,
hands-on interactive educational activities
for kids - such as kite flying - as well as a
healthy mix of barnyard fun - hayrides and
a petting zoo. For More information visit
www.Fuel-Fest.org.
Parker Country Festival: June 12,
2009 - June 14, 2009; Town of Parker,
Main Street. FREE Admission - Individual
activies such as carnival rides will have
costs. Carnival, 150 arts and craft/
Commercial vendors, kids’ activities, two
stages of free entertainment and a parade.
Friday 5:00 pm - 11:00 pm. Saturdy 9:00
am - 11:00 pm. Sunday 9:00 am - 10:00
pm. www.ParkerOnLine.org
Jazz Aspen Snowmass Festival: June
18, 2009 - June 28, 2009; Snowmass.
Ticket Information to be announced. NEW
VENUE! Show Times To Be Announced.
Music, Food, Friends and Fun. The festival
will showcase multiple performances
featuring this year’s brilliant group of JAS
Academy artists at a variety of clubs.
www.SnowmassVillage.com
Greek Festival: June 19, 2009 - June
21, 2009; Assumption Greek Orthodox
Cathedral, Denver. Eat, Drink and Dance
like a Greek! $1 All Day Pass (Kids and
Seniors are FREE). 11:00 am - 11:00 pm
Fri and Sat, 11:00 am - 8:00 pm Sun.
www.TheGreekFestival.com
Coolest Car Show: July 4, 2009; 10:00
am - 4:00 pm. Downtown Estes Park,
between West Elkhorn Ave and Moraine
Ave, Estes Park Colorado. Ticket
Information - $4 Adult, $2 children and
students, FREE under 6 yrs old, OR
BRING THE FAMILY FOR JUST $10!
Proceeds benefit the Estes Park Museum.
The Coolest Car Show will feature over
100 vintage vehicles from the 1920s
and beyond. Car show will take place in
Bond Park and throughout the Downtown
area. Close up inspection of the cars is
encouraged! Information and to register
your car: www.EstesParkcvb.com
To Place Your Event in this calendar
please e-mail Info@TidbitsOfDenver.com
as far ahead of the event as possible.

Beating The Odds
Some people would believe that when
three restaurants fail in the same location
that it would be crazy to open another
restaurant, yet John Davis, owner of Otto’s
Restaurants knows better.
“I was told of the market saturation while
I was setting up,” Davis says. “Some
people poked their head in and made
comments about my sanity.” Yet Davis’s
Parker Restaurants are already seeing
early success. Otto’s Grill opened in
September followed by Otto’s Cantina and
most recently, Otto’s Deli. Other Otto’s
locations can be found in Greenwood
Village, downtown Denver, and northeast
Denver.
In fact, while 6 restaurants, including wellknown national chains, went under within
feet of Otto’s Grill in Parker, Davis says he
reached the break-even point on his Otto’s
investment within 30 days of opening.
Davis plans on opening a fourth, more
upscale restaurant in Parker within a
few months. “My approach is to go back
to where it all started — give people a
reasonably priced meal,” Davis says.
Each Otto’s promises fast, fresh and
friendly food. Here is just a sampling of
the menus you will find at the 5 Denver
area Otto’s locations:

FUN JOB! HAWAII
BOUND! New reader
service now hiring
17-22 enthusiastic
people to travel for
a fun, young, new
company. Must be
outgoing and wellgroomed. Pack
your bags and call
today. Ask for Steve.
1-800-734-9640.

A recent stop to Otto’s grill was met with a
healthy dinner crowd, yet plenty of seating.
The half and half (onion rings and French
fries) was served in a large basket with
two dipping sauces. The burgers were
cooked to order, including to temperature.
The burgers were dressed with fresh
vegetables and the wait staff was friendly
and attentive.
There are 5 area locations –
You Otto Try Them!
See Coupon on the Front Page
Banner.
Grill: 18366 E Lincoln #109 Parker
Cantina: 18366 E Lincoln #101, Parker
Deli: 18366 E Lincoln, Parker
Cantina: 16221 E 40th Ave, Denver
Grill:
4930 S Yosemite, Geenrwood
Village
Grill: 2200 Market St, Denver

MISCELLANEOUS
$500 POLICE
Impounds! Cars,
Trucks, Suv’s from
$500! Hondas,
Chevys, Toyotas,
etc. For listings
800-749-8116 ext
2793
TIRED OF BEING
OVERWEIGHT
WITH NO ENERGY?
I can show you how
to Lose Weight, have
More Energy and
Keep it Off!!!
Guaranteed and Dr.
Recommended. Call
888-373-8308.

• It was Clay Ewing, president of a community bank in Indiana, who recently made
the following sage observation: “Banking
should not be exciting. If banking is exciting, there is something wrong with it.”
• James Arness, star of the iconic American TV series “Gunsmoke,” was more
than six and a half feet tall -- so tall, in
fact, that the makers of the show frequently had him stand in a hole during
his scenes so he wouldn’t tower over his
co-stars.
• The form-fitting synthetic fabric commonly known as spandex was so named because it’s an anagram of “expands.”
• When you think of a dog herding cattle
or sheep, the image in your mind is probably a border collie, a breed well-known
for its herding capabilities. You might be
surprised to learn that Dalmations, too,
were once used to herd livestock. In fact,
that’s why they’ve become an icon of
firefighters everywhere. Back when fire
engines were actually wagons drawn by
teams of horses, Dalmations accompanied the firefighters to the scene of a disaster in order to herd the horses to a
safe place until the blaze was brought
under control.
• Recorders of crime statistics say that the
top three cities in the United States in
terms of cars being stolen are Modesto,
Calif.; Las Vegas; and San Diego.
• If, like many Americans these days,
you’re carrying around some extra
weight, here’s an added incentive to lose
those love handles: For every 50 pounds
your car loses from its payload, you’ll get
about a 1 percent improvement in gas
mileage. Of course, you could just clean
out any junk that’s been cluttering up the
trunk instead.
(c) 2009 King Features Synd., Inc.

Thought for the Day: “Like cars in
amusement parks, our direction is
often determined through collisions.”
-- Yahia Lababidi

One night, a cop pulled over a young man
who had been speeding.When he noticed
that the young man’s eyes appeared red he
asked, “Your eyes are bloodshot, have you
been smoking pot?”To which the young man
replied, “ Your eyes are glazed over, Have
you been eating Donuts?”
When the U.S. Mint reissued two-dollar bills,
Ralph thought they might someday become
collectors’ items.So he went to the bank and
picked up a hundred, serially numbered $2
bills, still in their original band. On his next
trip to his parents’ house, Ralph gave the
$200 to his mother and said, “Take good
care of these. They might be worth something someday. ”Several months later, Ralph
asked his Mom if she had carefully put the
bills somewhere where they would be safe.
“Oh, yes!” she replied. “I deposited them in
the bank the very next day!”

saw a train coming. Panicked, he started to
pray, “God, please get my foot out of these
tracks, and I’ll stop being bad!” Nothing happened; his foot was still stuck. He looked up
to see the train getting closer! He prayed
again, “God, please get my foot out, and I’ll
stop swearing and I’ll stop being bad!” Still
nothing. His foot was wedged tight. The train
was just seconds away! Little Johnny struggled frantically as the train’s horn blared. He
tried his plea one more time: “God, please,
if you get my foot out of the tracks, I’ll quit
After trying a new shampoo for the first
being bad, I’ll stop swearing, and I’ll stop
time, a guy fired off an enthusiastic letter
picking on Mary everyday at school.” Just
of approval to the manufacturer. Several
as the train was about to hit Johnny, his foot
weeks later he came home from work to a
broke free and he fell backwards, the train
large carton in the middle of the floor. Inside
narrowly missing him. He got up, dusted
were free samples of the many products
himself off, looked toward heaven, and said,
the company produced: soaps, detergents,
“Thanks anyway God, I got it myself.”
tooth paste, and paper items. “Well, what
do you think” his wife asked smiling. “Next At breakfast one day, the young bride anxiously waited for her husband to comment
time,” he replied. “I’m writing to Toyota!”
on her first attempt at homemade cinnamon
A homeless beggar walked up to a wellrolls.After several minutes with no reaction,
dressed woman shopping in Beverly Hills
she asked, “If I baked these commercially,
and moaned, “I haven’t eaten anything in
how much do you think I could get for one of
four days.” The woman, sighed and said,
them?” Without looking up from his newspa“Gosh, I wish I had your willpower.”
per he replied, “About 10 years.”
“I want you to give me a pill to make me
A husband stepped on one of those penny
smarter,” the man told his doctor. The doctor
scales that tell you your fortune and weight
complied. A week later, the man returned. “I
and dropped in a coin. “Listen to this,” he
still don’t feel any smarter,” he said.“Keep
said to his wife, showing her a small, white
taking the pills and come back next week,”
card. “It says I’m energetic, bright, resourcesaid the doctor. “I still don’t feel smarter,” the
ful and a great lover.” “Yeah,” his wife nodman said the next time. “You haven’t been
ded, “and it has your weight wrong, too.”
giving me a placebo, have you?” The doctor
replied, “See? You’re smarter already.”
A very wealthy man 65-years old falls in
love with a young woman in her 20’s and is
considering proposing. “Do you think she’ll
marry me if I tell her I’m 45?” he asked his
friend. His friend replied, “Your chances are
better if you tell her you are 90.”
Little Johnny was walking along the railroad tracks when suddenly he got his foot
caught under one of the railroad ties. He
tried to get it out, but it was really stuck.
As he struggled to free his foot, he heard a
noise and turned around. To his horror, he

make just one more perimeter
patrol to see that no one has tried
to take advantage of the situation.
• Jack Russell Terrier: I’ll just pop it
in while I’m bouncing off the walls
and furniture.
• Old English Sheep Dog: Light
bulb? I’m sorry, but I don’t see a
light bulb!

• Golden Retriever: The sun is
shining, the day is young, we’ve
got our whole lives ahead of us,
and you’re inside worrying about a • Cocker Spaniel: Why change it?
I can still pee on the carpet in the
stupid burned out bulb?
dark.
• Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
Or “We don’t need no stinking
light bulb.”
• Greyhound: It isn’t moving. Who
cares?
• Border Collie: Just one. And then
I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up
to code.
• Dachshund: You know I can’t
reach that stupid lamp!
• Rottweiler: Make me.
• Boxer: Who cares? I can still play
with my squeaky toys in the dark.
• Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!!
Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change
the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh?
Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeze, please,
please, please!
• German Shepherd: I’ll change it
as soon as I’ve led these people
from the dark, checked to make
sure I haven’t missed any, and

• Australian Shepherd: First, I’ll put
all the light bulbs in a little circle...
• Poodle: I’ll just blow in the Border
Collie’s ear and he’ll do it. By
the time he finishes rewiring the
house, my nails will be dry.

How many cats does it
take to change a light
bulb?
• Cats do not change light bulbs.
People change light bulbs. So, the
real question is: “How long will it
be before I can expect some light,
some dinner, and a massage?”
• All of which proves, once again,
that while dogs have masters,
cats have staff!

Quips & Quotes

“The best way to knock the chip off your
neighbor’s shoulder is to pat him on the
back.”
Author Unknown

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