Big news from Washington today. A lady married to a Republican spends a crapload of money on extremely boring clothes. Which potential First Lady is it?

It's Callista Gingrich— America's distant, awkward third wife.

According to Buzzfeed, Callista's fond of using a personal shopper to comb what I like to call the "Daughters of the American Revolution" section at Nieman Marcus. Her style's so predictable to the staff at the store that they could even correctly predict what outfit she was wearing while giving her speech at CPAC— a red blazer that looks like it could've been made by St. John's.

The staff at the Tyson's Corner Nieman Marcus doesn't have any personal problems with Callista and Newt, or, as I'm going to refer to them henceforth, Newlista. Callista frequently visits the store and drops "I Am The 1%" level coin on blazers and twinsets and jackets with gold buttons that warn onlookers that she's probably not an excellent hugger. And Newt's right there, by his wife's side, nose buried in whatever novel it is he's reading.