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BILL'S WEEKLY bRANT

05/30/2012

Black has its place. Traditional photographic development labs, bat caves, and rooms suited to a sound sleep with melatonin abundant are examples that come to mind. As far back as my memory is retrievable and personal ownership of electronic gadgets was part of my life, black has been problematic. Recently, preparing for a trip to Arizona, I extricated the rechargeable batteries from my trusty Sony camera and placed them without issue into the charger. A couple of days later I go to replace said batteries and the question is which one goes positive up and which one down. Apparently Sony has marked this for me but guess what? They have chosen to mark the battery compartments, already black as anthracite coal, with black markings. If I could take a picture of this unique feature I would but my camera is not that flexible. It looks much like this:

Sony is not alone. I have owned innumerable devices that pose exactly the same problem, as I am sure you have. Is it not time for a smidgen of creativity on the part of electronic manufactures? The infrequent appearance of the rainbow should offer some inspiration. Have any of them seen snow?

12/31/2011

The following suggestion will reduce recycling by 25 to 40 percent. It involves a process during manufacturing that would be simple to implement. It wouldn’t require companies to alter their mode of packaging and distribution, only a slight adjustment to the process would be needed.

So, what is this undemanding, effortless solution to reduce waste? Fill everything up!

Ever bought a box of soap to find it is filled not only with the soap crystals you aimed to purchase, but a handy cup and two to three inches of air? How about a package of potato chips, a third of which offers the aromatic essence of the product you hope to consume? Or a bottle of pain killers or vitamins two thirds full but equipped with a healthy dose of cotton batten? The above are rhetorical questions.

It’s time for the consumer to be fed up with packaging that is not filled up. The environmental impact, if implemented for many of the products we buy, would be enormous around the world. Fill existing containers up or reduce their size and fill them up. The time for responsible packaging is here.

12/25/2011

This year my wife Susan and I spent Christmas in Hawaii. There is nothing quite like the dichotomy of driving around sun-seeking in 85 degree weather with beaches and shoppers and surf, listening to the radio play “It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas” followed by an ad suggesting Wikele Storage is the best place to store one’s goods because it is now 20% off and your possessions will be kept in bunkers left over from the Second World War, all the while keeping in mind that we should wait two more days before swimming because the box jellyfish are here on schedule, ten days after a full moon, then finding out that your instincts were correct, the local golf course will not be busy on Christmas Day and in fact it is closed, macadamia nuts in the front seat and sunglasses somewhere and I’d better find them fast.

The picture below was taken at the War Memorial of the Pacific. Our Christmas was great and we hope yours was too. Aloha.

11/05/2011

As a kid I can remember a plethora of comic books about flying machines. Machines that gave individuals the opportunity to just take flight like a bird and zip across town. There have been Utopian flying contraptions conceived regularly since the 19th century. Always highly theoretical but enticing nonetheless.

For years scientists have conjured up prototypes that would fit the bill. Some fit better than others. Now a group out of MIT has put their mind to making a car you can park in your garage and drive to the local airport before taking to the air. While it is easy to remain skeptical (we have been promised such vehicles for decades) this prototype has 100 on reserve from customers and believe it will be available a year from now.

Imagine flying to Vernon for the weekend, landing at the local airport, folding up your wings and driving to your motel. Check this out. It might be coming to a carport near you.

10/25/2011

Occasionally dramatic events change our lives, but most changes happen almost imperceptibly. Examples are everywhere we look and they never cease to amaze me.

Couch potatoes. We all know some. They spend as much of their free time lying down watching TV as they can arrange. Some I know fall asleep watching the boob tube. Many of these were once extremely active and played every sport they were introduced to, willingly. How did this transformation happen? Was it an edict from a celestial source? I doubt it. Their behaviour changed s l o w l y over time and what once would have been perceived as a despicable approach to life becomes routine.

No more classic an example is when you meet someone, often but not exclusively male, who has an almost normal figure for their age but has built up over the years one huge belly. Not just a pot belly, a hardware store full. This person, you are almost certain, was once 17 or 23 and out there raking leaves and likely looking as trim and fit as the rake in their hands. Cases of glandular malfunction or severe physical trauma do exist, but do not cover most we see. Was there a point, one wonders, when this person examined themselves in the mirror and noticed an inch of waist that wasn’t there a month earlier? Has this person developed the knack of ignoring mirrors altogether? It appears people find mechanisms that allow various aspects of personal depreciation and forget to watch for the warning signs that, compiled over the years, result in a non-requested state of being.

If you drive your car until the oil warning light comes on it has likely already resulted in some damage, but at least with a car there is non-negotiable evidence that change is occurring. Barring a similar universally adopted medical implant for humans, and with the likely event that evolution in this regard will maintain its dogged pace, I suppose that leaves us all in the awkward position of being responsible for observing our own individual warning signs. A sign, perhaps, of the times.

09/05/2011

If there’s one thing that clearly demarcates the generations, it is standards. More specifically, what people often bemoan as the lack of them.

One of my sons is currently a bank manager with TD. He says there is a line up for a good part of every Sunday, indicating there is a public desire for such service, and yet this corporate decision is not popular with everyone. For some, Sunday is sacrosanct and is meant to be a day of rest. When I opened my first bank account years ago, one had to figure out how to pay a visit Monday through Friday from 9:00 until 3:00. It wasn’t easy. Maybe there was a tendency to spend less.

I remember when stores started opening on Sundays. What seemed sad to me at the time was Sunday was the one time when you could count on getting together with 90% of your friends or family. Now everyone works at the strangest of times. Now we have a Thriftys opened 24 hours a day, something that occurred in California thirty years ago.

Now we find that Generation Y is stirring up trouble on Canadian university campuses. A Times Colonist article suggests they’re not demonstrating against war, fighting for equal rights or trying to reform university administration. Rather, they’re demanding better marks than they deserve, slighting professors and reading junk.

That’s the view of two professors who have written a book called Campus Confidential: 100 startling things you don’t know about Canadian universities. (James Lorimer & Co., 245 pages).

“Every generation claims that the next one has been coddled and spoiled, but it really may be true this time,” writes Ken S. Coates, arts dean at the University of Waterloo in Ontario, and Bill Morrison, history professor emeritus at the University of Northern B.C. in Prince George. “Something new and nasty is going on with university students these days, and there’s more trouble in store.”

The authors blame societal permissiveness, child-centred educational and parenting styles, overwhelming materialism, video games, sexualized media and the guilt of two-income families. It’s not all bad, the authors write, because these new students are also more assertive and more confident than previous generations and not intimidated by professors or any adults.

Society has changed a lot in recent years and the pace does not appear to be slowing down. What is interesting is that when change occurs there is always a backlash, and yet five or ten years down the road many of the changes that take place seem commonsense. Seatbelts, drunk driving, organic foods, automobile fuel efficiency and non-smoking zones come to mind.

Not all change is good but change will change. Striking a balance between “coddled and spoiled” and “assertive and confident” is always fascinating to watch.

07/23/2011

Every found yourself saying to someone: “Third time lucky!” (?) Ever wonder why you might have said it? In our culture the number Three reigns supreme.

We most often say: “One, two, Three, Go!” It would be possible to imagine an elementary sports day where the kids are lined up for the sack race and the teacher yells: “One, two, Three, four, five, six, seven, Go!” In our culture, waiting for Three seems long enough.

Three has strong historical roots. Three Graces (Roman myth) were followers of Venus. In Greek culture they were referred to as the Three Charities. Celtic art is preoccupied with figures of Three, Three heads and heads with Three faces. In Christian religion we have the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost. On the 3rd day Jesus rose from the dead, and in his lifetime, he raised Three people from the dead. God’s attributes are said to be omniscience, omnipresence and omnipotence. When we look around the world we live in it appears, at times, that wise men are rare. Having said that, it is hard to believe in biblical times there were only Three Wise Men!

Our children study their A,B,C’s. They sing about “Three Blind Mice” and read about The Three Little Pigs, the Three Bears,(bears never have twins?)Three Billy Goats Gruff and The Three Musketeers, then go outside and practice the Three-legged Race. When they fall asleep at night they dream of a fairy granting them Three Wishes.

The number Three plays into many of our choices. Thought, Word and Deed sum up human capability. Play twenty questions and we wonder about Animal, Mineral and Vegetable. We think in terms of Past, Present and Future, Body, Mind and Spirit, and Art, Science and Religion. Holy Trinity! There are Three Feet in a yard and Three Miles in a league. Shakespeare used Three Witches in Macbeth, though there may have been a labour shortage at that time.

Sports does not escape the number Three in our culture. In rugby, the #3 is given to the starting tight end prop and Three points are awarded for a drop kick. In North American football, Three points are awarded for a field goal. In baseball (and often in life) we all know Three strikes and you’re out when attempting to reach one of Three bases. Three consecutive strikes in bowling is called a turkey. Tennis balls are sold in Threes. Major tennis and volleyball matches are the first to Three. Hockey has Three periods and Three zones and a hat trick describes someone who scores Three goals. A sports dynasty is a description of a team capable of a Three-peet!

A fancy dresser wears a Three-piece suit and Three is the most common number used to hook up VCR’s and video games. Interesting choice.

Three is an important commodity in our culture. There are as many shades of meaning emanating from the number Three as there are colours spawned from the Three Primary Colours. Well, at least Three.

06/12/2011

Unless you have been held hostage in a dank basement for the last six weeks you have succumbed to Canuck Fever or miraculously found a way to escape this deadly disease. The forty year drought has caused more meetings to be changed in the last week than my wife has changed her shoe apparel. Is there a cure for this malady?

Sure there is. I only watch cricket. I cheer for the Maple Leafs. One of these might work. Otherwise, you’re likely to surrender.

Forty years is a long time. The last time the Canucks made it to the finals we had a bottle of champagne ready to celebrate but it never got uncorked. Champagne has a shelf life so here’s hoping for a better fate this year.

Some are true Canuck fans and many others are along for the ride. Welcome. Everyone likes to be associated with a winner. A friend of mine from South Africa watches when things get close like they are now. He tells me he notices the mood of people in general is a clear reflection of how the Canucks are making out on the ice. While we are all aware that our Prime Minister is a Calgary Flames fan, he is astute enough to route for the Canucks now. Important political move. What other country do you know of would you see the leader of the country buy tickets and sit in the crowd in Boston? There’s something endearing about Canadians, isn’t there? No sport captures the psyche of Canadians like hockey and the Olympics were clear evidence of that.

So, come Monday (or Wednesday) when you are undoubtedly going to be watching this spectacle that has captured the province, win or lose, you will be part of a moment that defines part of our history. Where were you when President Kennedy was shot? may soon be replaced with What were you up to when the Canucks finally won the Stanley Cup? If not, at least some of us have President Kennedy to fall back on.

NOTE: If you think there is any doubt the twins are identical, view this 10 second video:

05/31/2011

A man can remember a lot of things. The exact day and time of the next Canucks game, the price he paid for his first beer, when it’s time for an oil change, the name of your favourite aunt’s shampoo she used fifty years ago (Fitch Shampoo). Some of these are important and a man has a right to take pride in his memory, were it not for its unwelcomed comparison to that held by his wife.

It is impossible to quantify the number of times I’ve witnessed (and been personally party to) a conversation among friends that goes something like this:

Husband: “Yeah, yeah, it was a pretty good movie. But it wasn’t as good as . . . the other one she made . . . the one with the guy in the sports car and all the fish and . . . just a minute. Dearest Wife, what’s the name of the Julia Roberts movie?”

Wife: “Which one, Dearest Husband? She’s made dozens.”

Husband: “The one with all the fish . . . and the sports--_

Wife: “Mystic Pizza.”

Husband: “Yeah, well like I was saying.”

How does this happen? Women remember movies, actors, actresses, books, characters in books, relative’s birthdays—even of relatives on the other side of the country you only see at family reunions, the essential elements of their month’s horoscope, the name of their best friend’s hairdresser, let alone their own.

Psychologists Agneta Herlitz and Jenny Rehnman offer specific test results that indicate that women excelled in verbal episodic memory tasks, such as remembering words, objects, pictures or everyday events such as the location of car keys.

The puzzling thing about all of this is if you examine the staff of the History Department at the University of Victoria, for example, you will find almost all of them are male. Are we all missing something here?

I once asked my wife about this phenomenon and she gave me her answer. It will come to me, eventually.

05/08/2011

A bRANT is a rant on a blog by Bill. A weekly bRANT is one that occurs weekly. bRANTs are warranty free and are not guaranteed to be good for your health. Despite this, they may be of interest.

Some of us have mothers to tend to on Mother’s Day, others do not. Even if today, Mother’s Day, does not call you into action for whatever reason, the day still resonates with most people and thoughts go out to our mothers, past or present. The spiritual joy most people exhibit when planning something special for Mother’s Day is profound and deeply heartfelt.

In the years after the Mother's Day Proclamation, Ann Jarvis founded five Mothers' Day Work Clubs to improve sanitary and health conditions. In 1907, two years after Ann Jarvis' death, her daughter Anna Jarvis held a memorial for her mother and began a campaign to make "Mother's Day" a recognized holiday in the US. Although she was successful in 1914, she was already disappointed with its commercialization by the 1920s.

Today, of course, Mother’s Days still has a commercial component. Whether you take your mother out for lunch, out for a walk in the park, or sing her a song, it is the recognition of the relationship you have with your mother that will for the balance of the year. Without them we wouldn’t be here.

04/21/2011

A bRANT is a rant on a blog by Bill. A weekly bRANT is one that occurs weekly. bRANTs are warranty free and are not guaranteed to be good for your health. Despite this, they may be of interest.

Easter: the moveable holiday we all look forward to. Easter marks the end of Lent, a 40 day period of fasting, prayer and penance. Good Friday marks the crucifixion and death of Jesus. Easter is a moveable feast, March or April, based on the lunisolar calendar.

Celebrating Easter has much earlier roots in our culture, going back to Eastre, the pagan goddess of fertility and early spring. Eastre entertained children by turning her favourite bird into a hare that would lay colourful eggs. The notion of the Easter Bunny began to represent renewal in the 1500’s.

71 million pounds of chocolate is sold in the week leading up to Easter (compared to 41 million pounds at Valentine’s Day). The sale of eggs also increases, 45%, during Easter week.

Gourmet chocolate sales ($1.25/ounce or higher) doubled last year and the trend is expected to continue. One source of “reasonably priced” chocolate is the Rogers Factory Outlet, 4253 Commerce Circle.

However you and your family spend the Easter weekend, make it a great one.

Most think the Easter Bunny only give out chocolate, but alarming news is found in the following video:

04/13/2011

While citizens in several countries around the world risk their lives for the privilege of participating in a democratic society, Canadians are reluctantly facing and desperately searching for ways to become engaged in yet another federal election. Have Canadians become complacent? If so, why is this the case? Can anything be done about it?

Since 1993 the percentage of registered voters who actually get out and vote has been dropping. In 2008 the figure was 58.8%. This may be construed as paltry or healthy, depending on one’s view. In Australia voting is compulsory (something that feels opposite to the democratic spirit) whereas in Canada a majority of eligible voters pay some attention to the issues and allow enough of their time to place a vote. Back in 1867 the percentage in Canada was 73.1.

Most Canadians do not appear to be stirred up about the present election, despite the negative rhetoric the party leaders have been inclined to share like projectile vomiting. The system isn’t working. Can anything be done about it?

BC voters are likely the most sceptical of all (Alberta voters would argue this point). In BC we have recently seen a party rip up a democratically negotiated government/employee contract and then instil a new tax regimen not once mentioned during the previous campaign. The argument parties tend to base such behaviour on is that “we know better” what is good for the people than the people do. This has created a wide crevice of mistrust and lack of engagement on the part of the voter.

Services to the people cost money and it is the people who need to be prepared to pay for them. One negative aspect of democracy that seems imbedded in recent elections, is the role the party leaders play that is not unlike that of Santa Claus. “Vote for me and you’ll get this!” “Oh yeah, well vote for me and you’ll not only get that but this too!!” Like Christmas, a VISA bill will arrive down the road and many democratic countries are behind on their payments.

What would it take to regain voter enthusiasm? A dynamic, charismatic leader can help. Well, maybe not this go round. What else would compel engagement?

A solid party platform set out prior to any electioneering might be useful. Not one where leaders face a crowd in a local arena and add something new to the voter’s wish list. Instead of badgering other party leaders and their ideas, the focus could be put on explaining to the voters the rationale behind the five or six main agenda items a given party sets out. Any major variation from this platform, down the road, would need to be passed by a referendum. If circumstances change, parties ought to be responsible to explain the changes to the voters and ask their permission to alter our course. Not their course. Our course.

The cost of running elections also leads to frustration and negativity. The current election is purported to come with a bill of $300,000,000. Some estimates are higher than that. I can’t believe it would cost nearly this amount to employ electronic voting from computers across the country. Most voters own a computer or have access to one and every library in Canada has this facility. Every eligible voter has a social insurance number completely unique in this country. Over a two day period Canadians could vote electronically, most from their own home, at a much reduced cost and more efficient manner. This will surely become part of our democratic fabric, but we have the technology now and I see no reason not to take advantage of it.

SUMMARY

Clearly defined party platforms that become the focus of electioneering.

Positive campaigning over mud-slinging.

Parties focusing on a 4 or 5 year plan with a willingness to explain why Canadians would benefit from such a platform.

Allow political elections to enter the technological world we live in.

Yes, Canadians have a right to democratic apathy. I believe they have an even stronger right to a fruitful and engaging political process that would rival the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Well, maybe not rival, but you know what I mean.

03/27/2011

A bRANT is a rant on a blog by Bill. A weekly bRANT is one that occurs weekly. bRANTs are warranty free and are not guaranteed to be good for your health. Despite this, they may be of interest.

Have you ever considered the importance of facts in our culture. They operate like sign posts for much of what we think and do. Often you hear someone state something (usually an opinion) and then follow it up with the statement: “That’s a fact!” Or ever noticed when one person gives someone they know a reality check they will often sum up their view with: “Face the facts.”

Facts can be fun and quirky. They can be vital in our decision making process. Miles per gallon or km/litre certainly govern automobile buying habits these days. Present someone with a startling fact and they will often respond: “I didn’t know that.”

Personally, I love facts. I love fiction too, but facts have their place. So much so I’ve begun a collection of facts. Here a just a few of my favourites:

Charlie Chaplin once lost a contest for a Charlie Chaplin look alike.

The longest Hollywood kiss was from the 1941 film, “You’re in the Army Now.” It lasted for three minutes and three seconds.

All polar bears are left handed.

The “naked recreation and travel” industry has grown by 233% in the past decade.

A Canadian Tour company offers a two-day course in igloo building.

Portland, Oregon, where it rarely snows, is about 130 miles farther north than Toronto.

In 1386, a pig in France was executed by public hanging for the murder of a child.

You burn 26 calories in a one minute kiss.

Every three days a human stomach gets a new lining.

The actual playing time in a Major League Baseball game which lasts two and a half hours has been clocked at 9 minutes and 55 seconds.

People photocopying their buttocks are the cause of 23% of all photocopier faults worldwide.

If you enjoy facts, check out www.FactChimp.com. Be sure to visit the Meet the Chimps page to find out who puts this all together.

03/14/2011

I am always surprised by the attention and bally-ho that comes with Saint Patrick’s Day here in Canada. Maybe because at this time of year we Canadians need an outlet or focus of celebration. Whatever the reason, people seem to love it.

Saint Patrick lived from 387 to 461 AD. The day named after him is a public holiday in the Republic of Ireland, Northern Ireland, Newfoundland and Montserrat. Note the GREEN RIVER in Chicago!

At the age of sixteen, Saint Patrick was kidnapped by Irish raiders and taken captive to Ireland as a slave. It is believed he was held somewhere on the west coast of Ireland, possibly Mayo, but the exact location is unknown. According to his Confession, he was told by God in a dream to flee from captivity to the coast, where he would board a ship and return to Britain. Upon returning, he quickly joined the Church in Auxerre in Gaul and studied to be a priest. In 432, he again said that he was called back to Ireland, though this time he returned as a bishop. One of his teaching methods included using the shamrock to explain the Christian doctrine of the Trinity to the Irish people.

Here are some startling Irish facts:

Originally, the colour associated with Saint Patrick was blue.

Old Irish birthday tradition: lift the birthday child upside down and give his head a few gentle bumps on the floor, one for every year plus one.

The original Guiness Brewery in Dublin has a 9000 year lease at 45 pounds a year.

One of the most popular radio shows in rural Ireland is the weekly broadcast of the obituaries.

The very first St. Patrick's Day parade in America was hosted by the Charitable Irish Society of Boston in 1737.

St. Patrick introduced the Roman alphabet and Latin literature into Ireland. After his death, Irish monasteries became Europe’s leading intellectual centers.

03/09/2011

A bRANT is a rant on a blog by Bill. A weekly bRANT is one that occurs weekly. bRANTs are warranty free and are not guaranteed to be good for your health. Despite this, they may be of interest.

Since the 1950’s there have been many changes in society. The civil rights movement south of the border stands out, but so too does the relationship between men and women in our society. For many women over the last sixty years the path has been clear: chip away at those rights men have and we don’t. But what clarity have these changes offered men? Does chivalry have any space in the world we live in today?

Medieval literature is responsible for fostering our concept of being a gentleman. In our everyday interactions we see how the idea of gentlemanly behaviour has deteriorated. The result? A lot of men cling to incomplete or even negative images of what it means to be a man.

Chivalryonce provided the foundation for our male code of ethics. As an ethical standard in medieval times, it certainly had its failings. Nevertheless, its influence shaped the basic tenets for European gentlemanly behaviour

Chivalry spells out certain ethical standards. Men are called to be: truthful, loyal, courteous to others, helpmates to women, supporters of justice, and defenders of the weak. They are also expected to avoid scandal.

Beautiful ideals! They attract us with a sense of nostalgia that feels almost almost religious. That's because they are part of us already. Unfortunately, they contend with powerful, often destructive influences, like commercial television, that bombard us with outrageously bullish images of men that are, at best, inappropriate.

The virtues of chivalry offer (or offered) more than pleasantries and politeness. They give (or gave) purpose and meaning to male strength, and therefore support the overall workings of society.

Where does modern man find his comfortable niche in our societal reconstruction? I have personally been berated for helping with the dishes, opening a car door and offering to rake a sand bunker on a golf course, for females. Life can be confusing at times.

We once had a couple visiting from Georgia. Our son was explaining he was late for the barbeque because he helped a female who had no idea of how to use a self-serve gas pump. The banter was clearly flavoured with how “dependent” the helpless female was to require such help, when our female guest component from Georgia, looking completely astonished at the tale she’d just heard, piped up: “Southern women don’t pump no gas!”

We often take who we are for granted—as if our beliefs and behaviours are fixed in stone. Staying still is the same as going backwards. We either progress or are left behind. Dishwashers help but someone has to load them.

Since the 1950’s there have been many changes in society.The civil rights movement south of the border stands out, but so too does the relationship between men and women in our society.For many women over the last sixty years the path has been clear: chip away at those rights men have and we don’t.But what clarity have these changes offered men?Does chivalry have any space in the world we live in today?

Medieval literature is responsible for fostering our concept of being a gentleman. In our everyday interactions we see how the idea of gentlemanly behaviour has deteriorated. The result? A lot of men cling to incomplete or even negative images of what it means to be a man.

Chivalryonce provided the foundation for our male code of ethics. As an ethical standard in medieval times, it certainly had its failings. Nevertheless, its influence shaped the basic tenets for European gentlemanly behaviour

Chivalry spells out certain ethical standards. Men are called to be: truthful, loyal, courteous to others, helpmates to women, supporters of justice, and defenders of the weak. They are also expected to avoid scandal.

Beautiful ideals! They attract us with a sense of nostalgia that feels almost almost religious. That's because they are part of us already. Unfortunately, they contend with powerful, often destructive influences, like commercial television, that bombard us with outrageously bullish images of men that are, at best, inappropriate.

The virtues of chivalry offer (or offered) more than pleasantries and politeness. They give (or gave) purpose and meaning to male strength, and therefore support the overall workings of society.

Where does modern man find his comfortable niche in our societal reconstruction?I have personally been berated for helping with the dishes, opening a car door and offering to rake a sand bunker on a golf course, for females.Life can be confusing at times.

We once had a couple visiting from Georgia.Our son was explaining he was late for the barbeque because he helped a female who had no idea of how to use a self-serve gas pump.The banter was clearly flavoured with how “dependent” the helpless female was to require such help, when our female guest component from Georgia, looking completely astonished at the tale she’d just heard, piped up:“Southern women don’t pump no gas!”

We often take who we are for granted—as if our beliefs and behaviours are fixed in stone. Staying still is the same as going backwards. We either progress or are left behind.Dishwashers help but someone has to load them.

02/20/2011

Fascinating to listen to the language humans muster, particularly when conversing with familiar friends and foe. Have you noticed the resilience of the word “cool”?

The word cool can be traced all the way back to Beowulf. Cool began its trek to popularity back in the 50’s, though then it meant more like “stay cool” in a superiority mode. Ever since the 60’s “cool” has remained as the most reliable word in the English language to suggest approval.

“I just got a job polishing silver for rich people.”

“Cool!”

One word. So simple. So succinct.

Our colloquial use of language has many such variants: words or phrases that native speakers understand can represent a small paragraph but drive those trying to learn our language to distraction because their literal meaning seemingly makes no sense. But of course, it does.

For example. A house gather, catching up on life, might go something like this:

Hey, Arnie. Crack one open will ya?

That should hit the spot.

Where’s Amy?

Couch potato.

You bad mouthing her?

No way.

She’s a drama queen.

You poked her?

No, she tweeted.

You’re just sorry you didn’t cash in.

Trust me, that’s behind me.

I’m going to sell cars.

Sell?

Yeah. I’m pumped.

That’s what you said about delivering potato chips. You won’t get cold feet?

02/13/2011

On the eve of Saint Valentine's Day, commonly shortened to Valentine's Day, one feels compelled to think, or in this case, write about what this means in our culture. It is an annual commemoration held on February 14 celebratinglove and affection between intimate companions. The day is named after one or more early Christian martyrs, Saint Valentine, and was established by Pope in 496 AD.

This magical day first became associated with romantic love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer in the High Middle Ages, when the tradition of courtly love flourished. From kindergarten on it has evolved into a big deal in western culture. Chocolates are a dominant gift of exchange, but not all woman like chocolate and not all women like what chocolate does to their being a woman. For many, that is where lingerie comes in.

On the off chance this post gets to you just prior to the alarming realization that you have forgotten Valentine’s Day (meaning you have not made it to the mall), and you need a magical quotation that might soften things a tad, may I suggest:

Not everyone embraces Valentine’s Day. The following is from the site titled Evil Love:

“Valentine’s Day greeting cards. The same with people who sell flowers, Candy and cute cuddly bears. They all do this under the guise of something called Love.

They do this while making single people feel sad, degrading them. Society forces you to feel inadequate and less of a person because you are not involved in a "RELATIONSHIP". They alienate you because you choose to be celibate. They ostracize you because you are content with a romantic less relationship. They surround you with sickening displays of kissing, cupids, hearts, and public displays of affection until it forces you to puke!

Valentines has a bad effect on the general population of the human race. For example, instead of pleasantly surprising someone you care for, people now expect gifts to be exchanged in a Valentine’s ritual. When it comes down to it Valentines is a overrated capitalistic invention by Hallmark to make money with sick side effects of lowering self-esteem of many individuals”

Always healthy to represent both sides.

For most, Valentine’s Day is a day we look forward to. A cultural ritual, sure. Embedded with expectation, certainly. A day to celebrate love: absolutely.

The following is a link to a series of short movie clips that address the subject.

02/06/2011

“Has anyone seen my sock?” This question is asked 1.3 times per month per household worldwide (unofficial census conducted by the author). Where, indeed, do socks go?

I am a reasonably compassionate person and I feel sorry for socks. They come into the world as twins, the most common garment twin we have, and they know their lot in life when they are born: they are to be stepped on their whole life and often not changed frequently enough for good taste to prevail. I believe there is a conspiracy theory in place, but more on that later.

I’m in charge of the laundry at our house. Not sure how that happened, but it did. My socks go missing but only occasionally. I basically only have two kinds of socks so when one goes missing it is placed in my sock orphanage temporarily, until the whirlwind of laundry turmoil finds it a mate. Socks hate to be alone and who can blame them.

Other family members have a wide array of socks: stripped, pink, dotted, blue, beige, argyle, tube, cotton, black, wool, purple, ankle toe, brown, running. Socks such as these demand their birth twin or they are of no use. It’s an issue. If you are like me you play the waiting game. Surely the rebel sock will turn up eventually. Sometimes it never does. My rule of toe is if it doesn’t show up in six months it is sold into slavery: a sock puppet, a dust mop, a car waxer. This leads to my conspiracy theory. If you were the brunt of such rueful behaviour, wouldn’t you try to escape? There is an element out there of socks that have clearly put their foot down.

The Bureau of Missing Socks is the first organization solely devoted to solving the question of what happens to missing single socks. It explores all aspects of the phenomena including the occult, conspiracy theories, and extraterrestrial. Officials say, “We offer support for the matching sock deprived, and catalogue, research, index and document all extant material related to socks since the dawn of the shoe.” Check them out at:

I love people who have solutions to problems. Edwin Heaven (first names should be Descended From) has come up with THROX—socks sold in threes. In theory, if none of the trio goes missing, your sock purchase will wear one third longer. If one does escape, you have a back up. Love it.

Have a theory or solution to this world pandemic? If so, tell us your story. Long live the sock.

01/30/2011

A bRANT is a rant on a blog by Bill. A weekly bRANT is one that occurs weekly. bRANTs are warranty free and are not guaranteed to be good for your health. Despite this, they may be of interest.

Our society is in a constant state of constantly changing. So many things assumed to be just fine twenty years ago are considered dangerous territory today. Things people say, for example. The 1985 Dire Straits song “Money For Nothing” has been banned from Canadian airways in 2011 by the Canadian Broadcast Standards Association. What were we thinking 25 years ago?

Physical beauty remains a huge discriminating factory. Some in Victoria may remember Woodwards Stores in BC. I do, and I remember wondering 30 years ago just how it was that every female employee in any department of the store looked like a beauty queen pageant graduate. The men were likely striking in appearance too, I just didn’t notice. Whether you lived in Rembrandt’s era or are alive today, beauty remains a well-entrenched cultural stereotype that may affect your pocketbook.

American economists have found, for example, that every inch of additional height is associated with a nearly 2 percent increase in earnings; that employees rated beautiful tended to earn 5 percent more an hour than an average-looking person, while those rated as plain earned 9 percent less; that obesity can cause a significant drop in white women’s earnings. Thin women earn about $16,000 more in annual salary while thin men earned $8000 less. A good-looking man will make some $250,000 more in his lifetime than his less-attractive counterpart, according to economist Daniel Hamermesh. Sixty-one percent of managers (the majority of them men) said it would be an advantage for a woman to wear clothing showing off her figure at work. Asked to rank employee attributes in order of importance, meanwhile, managers placed looks above education. I have seen with my own eyes high school principals hiring virile males (jocks) over their less-endowed counterparts. One reasonable explanation is they coach. But the same principal when hiring females would clearly favour blondes. Principal and principle are two different words. Beauty-bias is part of our culture and it is a strong response, brain research suggests, that is hard to resist.

Pretty people get more attention from teachers, bosses, and mentors; even babies stare longer at good-looking faces (and we stare longer at good-looking babies). It’s a hard reality to escape.

Will things change any time soon? Unless you are Mark Knopfler, you might not believe it possible. Debrahlee Lorenzana, the 33-year-old Queens, N.Y., woman sued Citibank last month, claiming that, in pencil skirts, turtlenecks, and peep-toe stilettos, she was fired from her desk job for being “too hot.” Maybe we average folk don’t have it so bad after all.

01/23/2011

A bRANT is a rant on a blog by Bill. A weekly bRANT is one that occurs weekly. bRANTs are warranty free and are not guaranteed to be good for your health. Despite this, they may be of interest.

The following recently occurred in Victoria, BC. Does it reflect your world?

A local restaurateur was observing Twitter feedback on one of his five restaurants. One customer “tweeted” that service was slow. The owner walked to the restaurant in question, examined the guest list and confronted the disenchanted couple, saying this was unusual and that he would do what he could to make it up to them. The couple then began to “tweet” that this was the best restaurant ever.

This story may seem space-aged to you, but it is part of today’s reality. Just when you began to feel comfortable with the notion that email may, on occasion, substitute for an old fashioned handwritten letter, now it seems even email is passé.

The Oscars will soon be presented and don’t be surprised if the film The Social Network doesn’t garner some attention. At the present time, half of Victoria’s population has a Facebook account. Facebook adds half a million subscribers—every day!

Is everything about the Social Media Revolution great? Of course not.

Here's what you need to always remember about the Internet:

It's a business: Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, etc., are not social organizations created for the better good of humanity. They are businesses and corporations. Their main focus is the same: to make money. Because they give you the service for free, they need to make money somewhere. More often than not, it's from capitalizing on your information.

While there are many tactics to how online social networks can make money, there are only two real strategies: One, sell the value of the network (the size and reach) along with the personalized data (geographic, psychographic, etc.) to advertisers, who can then send those users targeted messages. Or two, look to grow the company to the point where it becomes a valuable acquisition property and then sell the company (and all of the data that comes with it) to another company. In both instances, the intent is to share your data to make money.

It's out of your hands:

Mitch Joel (Six Pixels of Separation) says: “If you want privacy in any digital channels (and this includes your email!), don't take part in the online social networks. It's that simple. Even if you're comfortable with the current privacy settings, be aware they can change at any given moment.”

Every day the old bumps into the new. One gentleman, in search of a babysitter reports:

“After trying to call teenage baby sitters we recently found that a lot of the girls prefer us to send text messages to their cell phone and not leave voice messages. In fact some of the teens don't (or won't) use their cell phones to talk but instead only to text message. To many in that demographic...to actually use the cell phone to talk is considered uncool and not really a part of their culture.”

Like it or not, change is blowing in the wind. I personally like the ideas that spin off social media platforms. I embrace them. Best, however, to consider the following: don’t send out any message on any platform that you wouldn’t say to that person or persons if you were staring them in the face.

If you haven’t seen the following short video, it will give you a sense of what is happening NOW:

01/16/2011

A bRANT is a rant on a blog by Bill. A weekly bRANT is one that occurs weekly. bRANTs are warranty free and are not guaranteed to be good for your health. Despite this, they may be of interest.

Kids tell it as they see it. Social context flies out the window. Sometimes the results are shocking and often very inventive.

The first time we moved to the house we are living in now, I was out in the driveway sweeping up, when the little boy next door hung on the fence for a visit. I heard his mom calling out to him: “What are you doing?” “Nothing,” he said. “Just talking to an old man.”

A colleague at work had a message on her Facebook page. She mentioned to her daughter that some day they might be able to buy a little cottage somewhere. Her daughter piped up: “That’s great. Then we can make some cottage cheese.”

Our friends’ daughter, when she was young, was trying to help by opening a bottle of Tylenol. She was struggling, so her father said, “Here, let me help you. It’s got a child-proof cap.” His daughter thought about it for a minute, then said: “How does it know I’m a child?”

Jodi Patterson, reporter with the Times Colonist, was driving around with her granddaughter and when they pulled up behind a car, the girl read the slogan on the BC license plate: The Best Place On Earth. She then asked: “ Grandma, who won second place?”

If you have some examples of out of the mouths of babes, please share them below !

The little guy in the following video appears to have given honesty some serious thought:

01/09/2011

A bRANT is a rant on a blog by Bill. A weekly bRANT is one that occurs weekly. bRANTs are warranty free and are not guaranteed to be good for your health. Despite this, they may be of interest.

We live in pretty exciting times and I for one am glad I am alive now and not wiping down my horse after a two-hour trip back from town for supplies including chewing tobacco. And yet how often have you heard people bemoan the loss of so many experiences they had in “the good old days”?

Inflation will surely dilute the argument for ten cent chocolate bars (bigger than they are today, mind you) and ten-cent pop. The same goes for twenty-five cent matinees with ten-cent popcorn and a bold western preceded by cartoons instead of ads. If the price of gasoline relative to wages in 1920 were compared to today, we would be paying more than $6.00 a litre at the pump. Yikes. Surely, one’s reference to “the good old days” must go beyond pure economics.

It does. When I was a kid growing up in the Cowichan Valley, everyone had a bike of some sort. Your bike took you everywhere and you only walked when you went fishing. Only kids with a brand new bike would have their mode of transportation trashed, and once it was trashed, it fell into the category of just a bike and was left alone. If you went to the gas station to fill up your tires you didn’t pay fifty cents (adjusted for inflation that might have been two cents). Air pumps were free. If you filled your tires too full and they popped the mechanic at Eddy's Esso would help you fix the tire and charge you ten cents to cover the patch and you got to oogle at bare-breasted women on the mechanics’ calendars while you waited. Ah, the good old days.

Kids were around home after school. They had to be—they had chores. After the chores were done they had other humans to “play” with. Informally. Without adult rules and supervision and whistles every thirty seconds. Power struggles were not learned vicariously through mechanisms like the HST. They were real and inventive and life-enriching. If you were left standing it was because you knew where you stood. Moms were around at lunch time, the peanut butter was awful but the bread was warm and home-made. You never thought much about girls until high school because everyone knew girls had fleas and were off limits. Tattoos belonged to sailors. Not everyone was a winner but you knew a winner when you saw one. New technology was a ballpoint pen. Dinner at 5:30 or else. In bed by 8:00 and reading only allowed under the covers.

01/02/2011

A bRANT is a rant on a blog by Bill. A weekly bRANT is one that occurs weekly. bRANTs are warranty free and are not guaranteed to be good for your health. Despite this, they may be of interest.

Line ups are fascinating, aren’t they? If you are an average citizen, you wait 45 minutes every day for something. Forty-five minutes seemed high to me, and then I thought of my recent trip from Arizona.

Our taxi driver showed up at 6:00 a.m., a half hour early, and chose to wait. He said it was for our peace of mind. When we arrived at the airport he had to wait for me to get some cash from the machine because he didn’t take VISA. That was his forty-five minute average and it was only 7:15 in the morning !

We got to the airport an hour and a half early like they asked. Then we waited until they began to check our bags. Then we entered the boarding area only to learn that because of the early morning frost, rare in Arizona, but real, and because this small airport (Mesa) did not have de-icing equipment, we had to wait for more than an hour while the four planes on the runway sat basking in the sun. Not fair to count flying as waiting, most say, though I’m inclined to but won’t. When we arrived in Bellingham, because it was icy there too, they refused to open the back door and there was another 20 minutes of stuffy air waiting to disembark.

If you want to drive taxi, go to Bellingham. Unlike Victoria, which always has a dozen or more cars lined up (waiting) to serve, Bellingham has none. We phoned and were told it would be at least a half hour wait. H-m-m-m. Then we lined up and waited at the border crossing. Then we lined up to board the ferry. Then to disembark. Then at five lights driving in to Victoria. By then my forty-five minute average was a distant memory in my rear-view mirror.

The more complicated our world gets, the more waiting we do. My longest haul was from 6:00 p.m. to 8:00 a.m. reserving a spot in a line up so my two grandsons could get a passport to attend a wedding. They were only four and two at the time and I thought the way things are going they will spend more time waiting in their lifetime than I have. A scary thought but a reasonable sacrifice.

Old Walt had it right, didn’t he? You go to Disneyland and the line is 150 yards long but it snakes back and forth and your shuffle takes you past eye-catching entertainment, including your fellow shufflers.

Waiting in line is hard to avoid. Some hate it. Some consider it an athletic event. Check out the link below:

12/27/2010

A bRANT is a rant on a blog by Bill. A weekly bRANT is one that occurs weekly. bRANTs are warranty free and are not guaranteed to be good for your health. Despite this, they may be of interest.

Leaving your home, particularly your home country, makes you think about a lot of things.

Being involved in Real Estate in British Columbia and embarking on our recent family sojourn to Arizona, the differences between Real Estate here in Arizona and what is commonly found back home offer a strong contrast. The comparison leaves Canada and what is commonly referred to as a conservative banking system, looking pretty good.

The economy has not been all that great for many in B.C. The valuation of sold listings in Victoria dropped about 11% in 2008, but was back up 8 months later and looking vital and strong. Despite the less than robust market, the province of B.C. has about 1800 foreclosures at this time. The state of Arizona has more than 58,000 and properties are selling for about 33% of the value they had four years ago. Nevada is worse.

The sub-prime mortgage offerings available in the U.S. duped a lot of people. So did overbuilding in areas like Phoenix and Las Vegas. In Canada, while there are some exceptions, people buy houses after they have garnered 5% of the purchase price and qualify for C.M.H.C. insurance on their mortgage (unless they have 20% or more down).

I golfed with a fellow named Jim from St. Louis the other day and he gave me a case study—that involving his son here in Queen Creek, AZ. He bought a house near the high point, took out a second mortgage to put in a swimming pool, and was eventually paying on a mortgage bill of $250,000. Employment became problematic for a while and it was tough to make the payments. So he didn’t. He could rent the house across the street for less than his mortgage payment plus taxes.

Luckily for the family in this example, the bank allowed them to pursue the Short Sale route, where an “acceptable” figure for the property, acceptable to the bank that is, could be pursued. His dad in St. Louis bid on the property at $100,000 and while the process took 9 months, he remarkably got it for that price. Now his son is paying his dad instead of the bank. Many in Arizona do not find such a magical solution.

The next time I hear someone complaining about how conservative our banking system in Canada is, I will direct them to this entry. They will, like me, be thankful they live north of the 49th.

The following site will give you an example. My wife and I bought this property 6 months ago:

12/20/2010

A bRANT is a rant on a blog by Bill. A weekly bRANT is one that occurs weekly. bRANTs are warranty free and are not guaranteed to be good for your health. Despite this, they may be of interest.

When someone you know is about to get away on vacation it is always of interest. When you decide to go away for Christmas and New Years, it raises eyebrows—one at a time.

Those who love you wish you the best and you can see in their eyes that they mean it. Some, you can tell by the look on their face, think maybe it will be cold and rainy in Arizona this winter. Maybe revenge karma will have its way.

So we pack and leave behind the traditional Christmas: we meet up with all our Victoria family ten days earlier than usual, abandon the search for the perfect Christmas tree, don’t bother hanging lights outside for the neighbours to enjoy when they look out their windows, put the snow shovel away because . . . well . . . because who cares. We enter a land that embraces Christmas much like we do except for the commercial holy grail of Boxing Day. A rare American commercial faux pas.

We enter a subdivision where our home is located to find festive lights strung on cacti and carols playing outside in the warm (and so far dry) temperature. The three swimming pools are enticing and one of them is heated. The golf courses are just like the ones we see on TV. The local Frys grocery store has a better selection of liquor than most BC liquor stores and the prices are shocking.

One notices things like 12 of the first 14 people who get off the incoming plane are wearing blue jeans. Likely, you realize, most of them are made in China. You go shopping for Christmas DVD’s because with all the DVD’s you brought with you none of them beam with Christmas spirit and you overhear a lady say to her husband: “If I can just find a Barbie car I know I’ll be able to relax.”

And you do relax. That’s why you came here. To get away from the hustle and bustle and rain and sleet. There will be no need to frantically search for a Barbie car, to shovel snow, to replace light bulbs and you won’t be wearing blue jeans because you will be able to don shorts. You are blessed and you know it and you are thankful.

^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^

The following very short production demonstrates an amazing dance routine featuring myself, my wife Susan, and two of our four children who managed to make this Arizona Christmas.

12/11/2010

A bRANT is a rant on a blog by Bill. A weekly bRANT is one that occurs weekly. bRANTs are warranty free and are not guaranteed to be good for your health. Despite this, they may be of interest.

Most people who know me say I’m one who never gets flustered or upset about much. For the most part, I suppose, this is true. My philosophy is to sidestep life’s plethora of small issues, focusing instead on those that cause severe consternation, and even with this, I tend to focus only on the ones I can do something about. That doesn’t absolve me of the right to have some pet-peeves.

My number one pet-peeve is the tendency to obey fads. Some designers’ houses in New York or Paris or who knows where, have decided that we all look good in purple this fall. I hate purple. I don’t mind splashes of purple on others, but I find it irritating beyond belief that any tie (I don’t actually wear ties to technically this does not apply), shirt or sweater I choose to buy in the stores right now leaves me with a paltry selection due to “current trends.” If you go to a car dealership looking for a new car and don’t care to buy one of the many offered in various shades of silver (another fad) at least you can say order me in a blue one or I won’t buy. Go to a local department store and tell the clerk you would buy this very sweater if it came in chartreuse then whip out your camera and take his picture—the look will resemble that of someone who has stumbled unwilling upon alien life.

Common language use is full of fads. A couple of years ago the “poster-word” was segue. You heard it on TV newscasts, CBC radio and every social gathering you were forced into attending. People would huddle together in common banter, each waiting expectantly for the opportunity to nudge the conversation with a new trajectory and suggest this move with something like: “I hear what you’re saying. It is a perfect segue into . . .” Even on an empty stomach I felt nauseous.

There are consequences of being an anti-faddatic. The ways of the world squeeze most into complying and those who escape dribble to the ground in a state of self-accepted alienation. It can be a huge cost. To my way of thinking, it is a price well worth paying. If a new movie or book becomes such an instant sensation that your paperboy circles references to it in the morning paper before delivery, that is my cue to take a back seat with a comfortable pillow. I’ll wait until the dust settles. Star Wars presented a great series of movies. I think. I haven’t yet taken the time to view them, but I believe I will soon.

Have pet-peeves of your own? Share them on comments! Short video on pet-peeves below:

12/06/2010

A bRANT is a rant on a blog by Bill. A weekly bRANT is one that occurs weekly. bRANTs are warranty free and are not guaranteed to be good for your health. Despite this, they may be of interest.

Change. It happens whether we welcome it or resist it. People change lots of things: their cars, their minds, the partners (change of heart), their personalities. People change their tune. Change can be spontaneous or planned—clerks make change daily. Drivers return home a different route just for a change. Routinely, at Buckingham Palace, guards change. According to Ecclesiastes, to everything there is a season and seasons do change. Change can be liberating, exciting or painful. Sometimes our inability to accept change can be dangerous. Sometimes numbing or debilitating.

It reminds me of the story of the little girl who was watching her mom prepare the holiday ham. She watched and wondered why her mother cut off both ends of the ham before putting it into the pot, so she asked why. Her mother was stumped and realized she didn’t know why. “I don’t know, sweetie, I’m just doing what I saw my mother do each year.”

The little girl and her mom decided to phone the girl’s grandmother to find out why. The answer: “I’ve always prepared the ham the way my mom did.”

Even though it was long distance, they phoned the great-grandmother next. When they asked her the same question they were met with a solid minute of laughter. She then answered, “I was forced to cut the ends off the ham because it was the only way I could get it to fit into the small pot I had.”