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Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Goose Goose Duck

I know we are all excited about Spring and all but I just wanted to let everyone know the dedication of a field reporter determined to win. So while the rest of us were holed up in our house drinking hot chocolate, Matt was working out in the field and battling the elements.

gwgt, I have a theory about collections like this. One day Memaw bought a couple of geese, perhaps they were matching a geese and she put some bows on them. They made her happy. She probably even changed the bows for the season. A birthday comes around or perhaps Christmas.

"What do we get Memaw? I don't know she seems to like geese.

and thus a collection was born.

Jester, I would like to hear Memaw theory on the goose collection. She may be tired of dusting them.

Mom L, Matt is very dedicated. He may be determined to stay on top this quarter.

Morning GLory, you can tell he is not from out area, as we were holding up eating cookies and fearing the snow. I really think Memaw's are assigned collections. The poor things. I think I will start mine with a gnome collection.

Memaw was a victim of vandals and burglary. She had at one time kept a huge guard dog to watch over her property, but when the perps tossed a T-bone steak to the dog, he wagged his tail and proudly carried his treat to his doghouse where he enjoyed his meal leaving Memaw's porch wide open to the trespassers. Me maw was devastated (and burgled).

Memaw, being an old farm wife, remembered that geese are not so easily distracted by strangers bearing T-bones and sent the big dog packing.

She got herself a pair of geese, Penelope and Fritz, and was delighted to find her home completely protected by their honking, hissing, wing-flapping and 'goosing' ways.

The first intruder was very sorry when he set foot on her property. The geese drove the creep off with loud honking and threats of great harm from flapping wings and pinching beakage. To thank them for their service, Memaw gave the geese some pretty bows to wear around their necks. They were delighted by how the ribbons stood out from their gleaming white feathers and strutted proudly back and forth across the porch, loudly honking their pleasure.

In their down-time from guarding Memaw's estate, Penelope and Fritz proved to be amorous and fruitful individuals and soon there were multiple additions to the Goose Family. It was becoming painfully apparent they did not believe in Flock-Planning.

Things were getting out of hand, Memaw was starting to worry. Yes, the geese protected her property from bad guys, but also from door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesmen (and door-to-door Religious Groups Bearing Pamphlets) the Mailman, the Paper Boy, and finally, even over Memaw's protests, even her own Family.

As the flock grew, everyone in a mile radius of her home suffered attacks from the geese, and soon Memaw was left alone.

As in Completely Alone. No one dared to come to her door any more. Memaw was worn out trying to make bows for all of the flock, and soon found herself completely isolated. The day came when the geese realized they had the Upper Wing and when Memaw ventured out her front door to go to the grocery store, they chased her back inside.

Karen - you are definitely giving redgirl a run for her goose feathers. Soon those prolific geese will be hanging out on the roof, then they'll spread to the power lines and Hitchcock will come back from Beyond to make a new movie titled "Geese" and everyone will move away from the neighborhood in fear. Wait, can webbed feet hold on to a power line? I guess they'll just sit on the poles.....

LH, I presume you mean the flea market at the state fairgrounds. No, not very often. I live in Lee Co., and work in Raleigh. I have to make that 40-mile-each-way commute 5 days a week. It would take something pretty special to get me up there on the weekend, too.

I never gave Memaw a gun in my story, what an interesting twist. Great idea, redgirl...that is why you are the best storyteller, alas, I am a mere upstart.

Mom L, I could see a movie entitled 'Geese'; anyone who has encountered a goose knows how scary they can be with their necks all stretched out, wings flapping and chasing after you honking loudly. I speak from experience and my therapist's couch.

Karen and Laura, not all geese are evil. Way back in my working life in Atlanta I used to take my lunch to a nearby creek, sit at a picnic table and feed the Canada Geese pair that waddled up to me. Mmmm, bread and potato chips - was that bad? They took the chips from my hands but did so carefully....

LH - I really don't think you want to trust us to write all the commentary!