Pages

Wednesday, 3 July 2013

Eve to Become F2P

CCP announced today that they will be removing subscription fees from Eve Online. Although the CCP team had been deliberating for months over whether Eve should be made Free to Play, and whether it should be made Pay to Win, a decision was finally made after the appointment of Sean Decker, who is a passionate believer in F2P games and pioneered many free EA titles.

The former Electronic Arts executive appeared to be somewhat delusional in the comments he gave the Huffington Post. He said he viewed the world as one 'giant microtransaction'. This is a rather odd view to have on the world, as a transaction involving it would not be micro. Nonetheless, in his first day of work at CCP he was able to convince CCP Hellmar that it was the right move for Eve.

Hellmar then stepped onto the balcony of CCP headquarters Reykjavik to issue the following speech to his staff and perplexed bystanders.
"My friends, today it is time for Eve to step on another glorious stepping stone. Me, myself and Sean Decker have decided we know what is best for Eve and Dust. With immediate effect, subscription fees have been abolished, and any existing gametime you have on them will be transferred to Sean Decker's premium account, since he bagsied it. You will now have the option to buy either a Premium Account, an XL Premium Account, or a Super Duper XL Premium Account. Of course, you can still use your crappy standard account if you're poor LOL." With that, Hellmar retreated into his office, the sound of hundreds of cheering CCP employees carried to the centre of Reykjavik.

About an hour later, a dev blog was released by the new 'CCP F2Pmaster". It was brief and to the point, as copy and pasted below.

Hi spacebros!I'm CCCP's new employee Sean Decker, and I'm here today to talk to you about the changes that are going to affect Eve Online.Thanks to CCCP Hellmar's willingness to accept that Eve must adapt or die, the game has been adapted to an F2P model. I'm hope you're all as excited about this as we are here at CCCP headquarters in Reykjavik! Every single account in the game is active again, but there are some limitations as to what non-bonuses accounts can do. I'll list every type of account here and the pros and cons of it.Standard Account

Can Undock

Can move

Can activate modules

Can use market at 50% tax rate

Can't warp

Can't jump

Premium Account ($30/9000 aurum a month)

Can do everything a subscribed account used to be able to do

XL Premium Account (60$/20000 aurum a month)

+300% accelerated training rate

50mil isk paid per day

+5 attribute implants redeemable at the start of every billing period

500K free skillpoints everyday

Super Duper XL Account (100$/45000 aurum a month)

+750% accelerated training rate

+100% to all isk payments

150mil isk paid per day

New +20 attribute implants redeemable at the start of every billing period

Free Titan of your choice at the start of every billing period

2mil free skillpoints everyday

The Eve community have reacted in a predictable manner at the changes. The forums were full of happiness, joy and admiration for CCP F2Pmaster. One happy customer, named 'Anslo', said on the forums "I'm so happy CCP has finally done what we've wanted them to do for years. Now I don't have to buy hundreds of PLEX every month to fund what the scammers and The Mittani drain from me. I've already bought a Super Duper XL Account for the next 5 years, and I love it already! I just doomsdayed a station in lowsec, I've never been in anything so intense before!"

CCP have also considered that they will consider adding a fith tier of account, for those who would like to use ships that previously could only be used by developers, such as the Polaris Inspector Frigate. The comment on the forum received 965 likes, and is likely to be implemented on Sunday.

The rest... needs work, but I really like the concept. Your problem is that Eve players spend a lot of time taking a shitty game way too seriously, so eventually they'll take your sarcasm too seriously as well.

This one isn't as funny as others. It is just preying on readers fears... which is only funny to the writer. Maybe pick topics that the majority of players are MILDLY interested in, but not overly attached to. Enable them to get a chuckle with some witty spin... but this is a valid fear for many who aren't keeping up with the news.