Cameron Diaz: Marriage to Benji Madden Renders All Exes Irrelevant

Cameron Diaz has officially moved on from her former boyfriends, who have all been deemed irrelevant now that she’s married to Benji Madden.

“You know what? Nothing matters now that I have my husband,” she said to Andy Cohen during an interview on his SiriusXM show.

“I don’t even remember any of that. Like, that’s the thing. That’s how i know he’s my husband because there’s…no one compares. Everything else just washes and slips away.”

Diaz dug the knife a little deeper into the fleshy abdomens of any exes who may still have feelings for her, as she continued, “You realize, ‘Oh, right, this is what the real thing is. This is what real love is. This is what real commitment and devotion is. This is the person you build you life with…and I know that this is special.”

Diaz and Madden were married after a mere seven months of dating back in January 2015. But, she maintains, her friends were right when they told her she’d “just know when you know.”

“I was always like, ‘What does that mean? What does that mean?’ Then I was like, ‘Oh, I get it, you just know when you know, like, you’re my husband.’"

Sorry Matt Dillon, Jared Leto, Justin Timberlake and Alex Rodriguez — you were mere blips on Diaz's radar, which ultimately locked in on the Good Charlotte guitarist, forever and always, amen.