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Saturday, 25 August 2012

"Spur"ring on AVB

Andre-Vilas
Boas. So appropriate that a man whose acronym is “AVB” has been placed in
charge of a club whose condition is AVB- Already Very Bad. Tottenham Hostspur went
from being title contenders in December, to playing Europa League in May. And
they did it quite effortlessly. And the quintessence of that effortless
free-fall seems to have been retained in its entirety, as they look set to
embark on a campaign with no good defenders, no good mid-fielders and no strikers
(good or otherwise).

So how did
it all go wrong? Well, logic and rationality would suggest it should never have
gone right in the first place. Harry Redknapp placed little faith on any of his
existing players (especially his strikers), signing players by the dozen on
loan. Not to mention all the dough he washed away on sub-par players like Ryan
Nelsen and Roman Pavlyuchecko. These players, he evidently didn’t realize,
would either ultimately return to their parent clubs (ala Adebayor) or would end
up retired or in another wastrel joint poised for ruin (ala Ryan Nelsen at QPR).
The players who would then finally remain at Spurs were the ones who were never
played (ala Jermain Defoe).

Now this had
never been a problem previously with Harry. He’d just mosey on up to Levy and
ask for more dough. Sadly for him though, there was no more dough. And he had
to go. (See what I did there?) Harry Redknapp’s sacking was a self-inflicted
nail in an already bolted coffin. Now whoever took up the mantle next would
have the astronomical task of getting new players in, handling Luka Modric’s
time of the (transfer) month and convincing Ledley King not to retire since
they can barely defend even with him in the team.

This unenviable
chore fell to the beard-endowed, raspy-voiced Bradley Cooper look-alike
Andre-Vilas Boas. Much like Bradley, AVB has a pretty bad “Hangover” now trying
to deal with aftermath of Redknapp. Not only did they lose Ledley King (arguably
their ONLY proper centre back), they couldn’t get back Adebayor, they’re set to
lose Luka Modric and they still have William Gallas. All ingredients in a
delectable recipe for seventh place. They signed Sigurdsson and Vertonghen. Now
they want Sahin. Unfortunately AVB, he’s just not that into you. (See what I
did again?)

Jan
Vertonghen’s a solid player. So is Gylfi Sigurdsson. But in my mind both are
more suited to a team which can pass the ball. Ajax do it very well in the
Eridivisie and Arsenal (Yes, Arsenal fans- don’t groan. He just wasn’t that
into you) and Swansea did it best last season in the Premier League. I’m not
sure this Spurs side with Sandro, Livermore, Gallas (Yes, they still play him.
I don’t get it either) and Defoe down the spine can play that kind of game. It’s
a bit like when AVB tried to make Terry, Lampard and Drogba play that way. Poor
lad was under the impression they had talent.

The more
pressing issue is the transparent lack of an attack. Jermain Defoe is Spurs’
only known striker and I suppose there is some merit to the argument that he
wasn’t given much of a chance under Harry. Now with due respect to Jermain,
there was a reason for that. In fact, multiple reasons. He’s injury-prone, he’s
inconsistent and he contributes in no way to the team other than by scoring
goals. He’s like a less productive Darren Bent. One need only ponder how
productive Darren Bent is to see why Spurs have a problem here. They simply
must sign a striker. I hear Man United are having a garage-sale, maybe go back
for their former star Dimitar?

There are
some positives though. They managed to get Gareth Bale to sign an extension on
his contract. Maybe they could use whatever they used on him on Modric? And
Sahin maybe? It might not be a bad option. It might well be the only option. Either
way, the Spurs side that played Newcastle on opening day are not a side that
can finish in the top 4. That’s about as likely as a manager lasting more than
2 years at Chelsea. Or any game being played for the correct amount of added
time at Old Trafford. Or Stewart Downing contributing in any positive way to
anything Liverpool do (Wait, no. That’s far less likely. Sorry, Spurs fans).
This might well be AVB’s last chance to shine in this League so let’s hope he
won’t be ruing another “Spur”ned opportunity.