Are these holidays really happy or merry? Does adding happy or merry to the holiday make you feel happy or merry? Or do you just feel happy and merry because you enjoy the significance of the holiday?

I’m thinking of putting this theory to the test. I’ve been feeling really crappy lately. So, I’m wondering if I blurt out “HAPPY CRAPPY DAY” if that will make me feel happy about feeling crappy? Who knows, maybe I’ll start a National holiday where everyone gets to stay home and feel happy about feeling crappy! Hell, if I could have a stay home feelin’ crappy day, WITH PAY….That would make me pretty damn happy about feeling crappy!

Bah humbug! YES, I’m being a scrooge….. but no matter how many times people blurt out MERRY CHRISTMAS or HAPPY HOLIDAYS, it doesn’t make me feel anymore merry or happy! (sorry, but you’d have to know what’s going on or be in the same place in order to understand this sentiment)

On another note, I noticed the Christians are trying to take over the phrase, Happy Holidays. They’re now saying, “Jesus being born is a happy holiday”. Give me a freakin’ break. Let people have their non committal, politically correct phrase that covers everything and makes everyone but a scrooge happy, Damn it!

While listening to the new song I just posted (look below for the Jack’s Mannequin song), I became motivated to post my first random. Not sure what will come out, so….buckle up and lets see where we end up!

I’m tired of being stuck in a world where adults still think like teenagers.

My co-worker, a 60 something year old guy but acts much younger, whom I have nothing in common with just found out today he has cancer that was caused by second hand smoke. Makes you think….

I gave my life up to a mental disorder for many years. Still use it as a crutch on occasion, but have come out alive and well. BUT, it irritates me when people are unwilling to even fight against theirs.

Since I went to New York, I have not missed a day where I don’t have at least one alcoholic drink. Something about that city made me feel alive…and now…. I feel sad because I’m not there.

I rarely cry…but often feel like it.

I’m way too sensitive and feel things much deeper than I should.

I drink too much coffee….well, lattes.

I saw a preview for the new Jim Carey movie where he said: “Drive faster so if we crash I’ll at least die.” That has stuck in my brain and won’t let me go.

I wish I could just sit for an hour and absorb the energy of Maya Angelou.

It bothers me when people care more about how they look than how they act.

I’m sad more than I’m happy.

When I write and it feels like it’s working, I get a high that feels like having 4 drinks.

I hate that being a socialist is considered a bad thing.

When people fight, feel bad, feel stressed and it doesn’t have anything to do with me….. I pick up on it, and feel really ill.

The only “blood” family I have is my son. The rest, they either died or I “divorced” them.

The reason I have survived what I have survived is because I focus on the positive. It really, really, really, really bothers me when people choose to focus on the negative, of people and life. I always try to find something, at least one thing I like about someone or something so I can deal with whatever they or it comes my way.

I wish I had more self confidence.

royal blue is my favorite color.

If I had the money, I would be like Jay Leno and have a zillion cars.

Sometimes, I just want to get into the car and drive away without telling anyone where I’m going and stay in a hotel for a few nights.

I’ve never had a dream about a president, but I’ve had 2 about Obama. So weird. I even dreamed that he smoked before I found out he smoked.

I hate that for the last few years, at the end of the year…. I always think to myself, “Wow, I’ve lived the anniversary of when I’m going to die.” I fucking hate that thought, but can’t seem to stop it from coming….

my phone keeps ringing and it’s taken way too long to do this, so I’m going to stop at this.

I’m on the verge, I’m on the verge
Unraveling with every word
With every word you say, make me believe
That I won’t feel your tires on the street
As I’m finding the words… you’re getting away

I come undone, oh yes, I do
Just think of all the thoughts wasted on you
And every word you say, say something sweet
Cause all I taste is blood between my teeth
As I’m finding the words… you’re getting away

(I wake up to find it’s another
Four aspirin morning, and I dive in
I put on the same clothes I wore yesterday.
When did society decide that we had to change
And wash a tee shirt after every individual use:
If it’s not dirty, I’m gonna wear it.
I take the stairs to the car
And there’s fog on the windows.
(And I’m Fighting the words…)
I need caffeine in my blood stream,
I take caffeine in the blood stream.
I grip the wheel and all at once I realize:
(And you’re getting away…)
My life has become a boring pop song
And everyone’s singing along.)

Carly’s song plays
in my head
everytime
I pick up a pen
and begin to write.
My words
unshared
cause even though
it is written for me
you will think it’s not.
It really doesn’t matter
what you think,
cause only I
know my own code!
The blue journal
with a star
that was sent from afar,
knows all there is to know.
It doesn’t have an opinion
one way or the other
whether what I wrote
should have been
or not.

thanks for the journal!!! I still love it just as much!!! And the pen never leaves me!!!

Folk singer Odetta, the “Voice of the Civil Rights Movement,” died of heart disease in New York yesterday, December 2nd. She was 77. An influence to singers like Bob Dylan, Janis Joplin, Joan Baez and countless more, “The Queen of American folk music,” as Martin Luther King Jr. dubbed her, was responsible for some of the biggest folk albums of the ’50s and ’60s, including 1963’s Grammy-nominated Odetta Sings Folk Songs. “She was my heroine,” Joan Baez tells Rolling Stone. “Her voice has so much power in it. You wouldn’t say she had a beautiful voice, you’d say she had a massive voice, totally grounded and rooted in things to do with the earth.”

In 1965, she recorded an album of Bob Dylan covers titled Odetta Sings Dylan. “The first thing that turned me on to folk singing was Odetta,” Bob Dylan once said. “Right then and there, I went out and traded my electric guitar and amplifier for an acoustical guitar.” Over the course of her career, Odetta was nominated for three Grammys and was awarded the National Medal of the Arts in 1999. The Visionary Award from the Kennedy Center Honors came in 2004, followed by the Library of Congress’ Living Legend Award in 2005.

“Her voice could be a great and mighty roar or a sweet and delicate whisper that would not disturb the china,” counterculture legend Wavy Gravy says. “Or she could take out the whole china cabinet.” Despite failing health that confined her to a wheelchair in recent years, Odetta never stopped performing, with her last concert taking place October 4th at San Francisco’s Hardly Strictly Bluegrass Festival. Odetta reportedly also hoped to perform at Barack Obama’s inauguration in January. A memorial service is planned for next month.