We have good income but overspend every month. I'm trying to stop that - but it means we are a world away from poor but not cash rich either so I can't work out what we have left over to spend that way.

I give 10% of my income and put 10% into savings. 80% is plenty to live on. People live to their limits and spend more as they earn more. As I have always lived to 80% of income I don't notice the other 20%.

If you really want to give according to God's guidance you ought to be giving at least 10% of your income. It sounds like a lot, but if you take it out at the start and then consider the 90% that remains as your monthly income then you don't really miss it after a few months.

I find this really hard and we've fudged this for years as we don't agree.

I think we're going to end up with just dh doing 10% of his and me just resenting that it means we won't ever get a decent holiday.Ever - like the last ten years. Because we live in a really expensive area and our crappy place takes up 70% of our income.

We give 10% of our income to the church in our household as we believe that is a good rule of thumb.

But more importantly the Bible says that people should decide in their own hearts what to give and then give it cheerfully. So whatever amount you give, you need to be happy to give it. Don't give more if you are going to resent it.

Coercion doesn't necessarily involve force, it's psychological. To imply that one is being more pious in religious terms by paying a higher proportion of income to the institution is clearly a form of control.

We give about 8% by monthly DD - that means we give every month without fail but also have some wriggle room to give to one off things / charity events etc. It also helps us think that our giving isn't entirely covered by our DD and we must seek to live generously too.

It will depend on your income / expenditure, but what helped me when my dc were young, was to think what I was quite happy for them to spend to go elsewhere - cubs, swimming, football, etc. Generally, most things they went to (at the time) were £2 - £3.50 per session. I then thought, that if there's 4 of us going, that I ought to pay at least the same for all the Church gave to us / did for us - so settled on around £11 or £12 per week.Of course, things have gone up, but it just seemed a good way to get a baseline / starting point when we didn't have much money when the dc were little.Would that give you a starting point ?We've have the discussion about '10%' in various places, and I think people feel differently about if it (in 2016) means before tax / after tax / after paying 'essentials' (indeed, what are 'essentials'?), but it's worth looking at those figures and seeing how far from it the vast majority of Christians are with their giving. Again, another starting point to look at.

Dozer, the full story is that the wealthy made a big show of donating large amounts which didn't matter to them, yet the elderly widow was ashamed because she didn't have much to give. The point is that it doesn't matter how much you give, it's the thought behind it that is important.

Plus, not all churches are huge institutions. My local church is independent. Its funds come from its congregation, are spent by ministry leaders who are 99% unpaid volunteers. And the spend and accounts are fully disclosed to the church twice a year.