I had a beard, a magnetically sexy beard, so sexy that it attracted lead bullets from paranoid TSA agents. My beard, is now gone.

If it's any comfort to you, I got searched every year for the last 5 years at an Italian airport. My sister and my brother in law (with tats and a mohawk) passed without problem, it's always me they pull out.
And it's always the same guard. A 5 feet tall woman in her early thirties with a black mop of curly hair.

But she has an UZI, a nightstick and her biceps is the size of my head so I just remained silent. Can't wait to see her again this year.

If it's any comfort to you, I got searched every year for the last 5 years at an Italian airport. My sister and my brother in law (with tats and a mohawk) passed without problem, it's always me they pull out.
And it's always the same guard. A 5 feet tall woman in her early thirties with a black mop of curly hair.

But she has an UZI, a nightstick and her biceps is the size of my head so I just remained silent. Can't wait to see her again this year.

She's not searching you, she's hitting on you. Find a back room and get in some sexy times man.

Glad I'm not the only one who thought of the lesbian conspiracy or whatever kind of crazy it was he was spamming.

How was it, Sold? I know you're reading this. What were the dangers of shaving, again?

__________________

Quote:

Originally Posted by Terry Pratchett

Elves are wonderful. They provoke wonder.
Elves are marvellous. They cause marvels.
Elves are fantastic. They create fantasies.
Elves are glamorous. They project glamour.
Elves are enchanting. They weave enchantment.
Elves are terrific. They beget terror.

The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes look for them behind words that have changed their meaning.

If it's any comfort to you, I got searched every year for the last 5 years at an Italian airport. My sister and my brother in law (with tats and a mohawk) passed without problem, it's always me they pull out.
And it's always the same guard. A 5 feet tall woman in her early thirties with a black mop of curly hair.

But she has an UZI, a nightstick and her biceps is the size of my head so I just remained silent. Can't wait to see her again this year.

As if I needed another reason to hate my apparent inability to grow an actual beard. It'll grow out to a certain point and then just stop, then it starts looking scraggly and nasty looking so I have no choice but to cut it.

I can't finish a day without sporting some level of stubble, but that has done not one thing to change the fact that I collapse into a puddle of ouch when anyone so much as taps the right side of my chest. You lie!

I'd hire Oma as a chef in exchange for her ID. But I'd reject his child because I'm sure it'll be a boy and I'm sure he'll turn out to be some Omen / Rosemary's Baby / Deep One demonstarspawn that will replace his with a drill the first chance he gets.
Now explain that beeping in the groin area to a TSA agent.