Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Deduct Tape

People, have I lost my ever loving mind!? I mean, really. First I sign up for a 1/2 marathon, then I do a few training sessions, then my friends Spo and Hammy move up to the FULL marathon and I'm all inspired and I really am a pretty good runner (just ask Erin & Sarah who I ran with last night. you don't know them? sorry. I guess you'll just have to take my word for what a GOOD RUNNER I AM.) so I decide that:

IF I RAISE $5,000 IN MY FUNDRAISING EFFORTS, I TOO SHALL RUN THE FULL 26.2 MILES!!

It can be done! Did you know, according to my friend Melissa, that only 1% of the population completes marathons? Is that for lack of trying or for lack of energy. Am I going to fall down half way through with crap in my pants? (I seriously do not want to crap my pants. IT'S NOT THAT WORTH IT TO ME. I'll still run and raise money but the minute I feel crap about to exit my buns while I'm out in public, all bets are off.)

So, would you like to help me raise this $$? COOL! Go here and you can donate securely using your credit card.

AND REMEMBER: all donations are completely tax deductible!! Yay!!

As of 1:53pm, Wednesday, May 24th I have raised $650!! Incredible!!

But listen, I know not everyone has money to spare. Trust me, I know. Don't feel like if I don't get a donation I'm going to be like, "screw that dude!!" I honestly just want people to donate if they have a little to spare. OK : )

Speaking of tax deductible. I think food/calories should be deductible as well. There'd have to be some sort of system and a magic being of sorts... but it'd be great... just keep track of the meals you want deducted from your gross total body weight at the end of the year. Just a thought.

About Me

Glesbian (n.) /GLEZ.be.un/

You need to know where Glennis shops. You must find out where Glennis eats. Glennis' opinions on life matter to you. You are a Raging Glesbian.

ASK G

You have questions I have answers, but why should you listen? In 1998 I moved to NY with $500 and 5 bags of clothes. I fought my way through the muck and grime to come out the other side triumphant. Like one of those really satisfying morning BM's, my advice will set you straight.

"Readers can send in questions and Glennis will publish her response, full of profanities, tangents, and surprisingly good advice."-Radar's Work Book Project

Write to:answermecommag@gmail.com

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Glennis-isms

Clair Stare (v) - Derived from the fabulous Clair Huxtable's show-stopping stare. As powerful as any words, fist or bullets and twice as effective. "Piss slowly dripping down his leg he knew at once that his airplane hijacking attempt had, once again, been thwarted by the Clair Stare."

Out-Regis-and-Kelly (adj.) - Used to describe someone's fabulous, sparkly outrageousness. "Not sure if the girl in front of her had fallen or begun a strange, errotic dance, she chose to classify her as out-regis-and-kelly."

Out-Regis-and-Kathy-Lee (adj.) - Used to describe someone's slightly off-putting, drunken or outdated behavior. "The party took a turn for the worse when they arrived and, in truly out-regis-and-kathy-lee fashion, upper decked every bathroom in the house."

Prrrthetic (adj.) - Used to describe a pathetic action that, somehow, ends up making you look adorable. "The prrr-thetic attempt to get him back fell short when the aerial photo of his face made out of cats was overexposed."