my god … it's full of stars

I am sick of this shit. I’m pissed off at myself all the time for being a lazy ass, but I’m not doing anything about it which pisses me off even more and makes me do even less. Aargh. What a pointless shitty cycle.

That’s it. I can’t take it anymore. I’m sick of all this crap and I’m on my way to the gym. And I think on my way back from the gym (well, it’s a little bit of a detour) I’m going to stop by the saucony outlet and get fitted for a pair of running shoes. I told myself that I was going to start my run/walk program like 2 months ago and it didn’t happen. So instead of being pissed off at myself for not doing it then, I’m just going to do it now.

See, I’m heading off in a completely new direction. Next week I’m starting massage therapy school (look at MTI in my links) and in order for me to really be the best MT that I can be, I need to really take care of myself. I can’t just wander around making everyone else feel good all the time and not care for myself at all. I have to be serious about putting myself first.

So as of today, I am putting myself back on track. I am going to start eating well again, exercising, and making sure that I take time to pay attention to myself. I’m going to work on incorperating some kind of meditation into my daily life. I’m going to make sure that I go to yoga at the very least once a week. I’m going to start entering all my food into FitDay again (because it seems to be the only thing that really keeps me accountable). I’m going to go to the gym. I’m going to start my run/walk program. I’m going to find some martial art or dance or tai chi classes to take. I’m going to start taking risks again. I’m going to stop being a lazy person and instead turn back into someone who I like.

Y’all are my witnesses. If I don’t do it then please, I’m begging you, find some way to help me.

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Amen, sister! I will totally try to hold you accountable, in the nicest way possible. It is so imperative for us to be healthy, and take care of ourselves in all aspects – financially, mentally, physically. I have some ideas for this, which we’ll talk more about in person. Hooray for us!