Friday, March 20, 2009

I'm back!

I am not very sure that anyone else will realize that I am back to the blogging world and I guess that is OK. I actually can not put everything into words yet though I am thinking it will not be long. Once everything sinks in I should be up and running. It has been over two years since I blogged last and that time period has been filled with such joy and such anxiety I am not sure where to begin. I guess the best thing is to start at the beginning. There is a part of me that wonders who will be reading this and how should I approach this. Then I suppose I think it doesn't really matter - this is my blog, my space and if you don't like it don't read it!

The reason I stopped blogging was my life as I knew it pretty much fell apart. I was happily homeschooling my boys at the time tho except for some very good friends that was the only good thing in my life. I suppose most people look at the fact that a couple with two beautifully happy children is a good thing and don't mess with it. However, if that couple, or one of that couple, is miserable then it really isn't a good thing at all. So, in a nutshell, I decided that my happiness was important. Yes, my children did, and always will, come first in my life. AND I see that my happiness as an individual is also important. It is not only important to me but to them as well. All to often we go through life with 'should be's' and 'ought to be's' and 'have to's'. I wanted my children to understand that at some point they have to make their own happiness. And being with someone who makes you miserable is not a choice I want them to make.

So two years ago I got a divorce. And let me tell you, next to having my babies, it was the best decision I have ever made. Now, I am my own person. I decide what is best for me. I am not last in line. As of today, the boys and I own our own farm. We can get back to living life as we see fit. We can get back to homeschooling. I hope that people see that I am still the wonderful mom I always was and that my two boys are getting the best things in life they can. They are allowed to be who they are, to chase their own dreams, to not be pressured into being who others want them to be, to find their own happiness.