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She will never be happy so I am better off without her. I would not be surprised if he dumps her too. She texted him non stop all day yesterday. Then she sent one text after our fight and no response. No phone call either. Not a good sign for her. I hope she feels some pain because I have never felt so much pain.

Thanks again to all who send their support to me. The latest update is that T has not responded to any of her communications. So to all who predicted he would disappear after she told him we were separated, you were right.

Now for the weird part. I feel bad for her. She is heartbroken that he is not responding to her. And I actually understand. It's not like they had a long talk and decided to break it off. He texted and said 'I don't want anything tondo with breaking up your marriage' and then disappeared. I know he is trying to do the right thing by breaking it off. But i do think she deserved more from him than that. I guess I am not an evil bastard after all. To see her so sad really makes me sad too.

So on top of figuring out our relationship we have this to deal with. So complex. But in a strange way, it has opened the level of communications between us as we sort through our next steps.

Wow, how wise are some of our experienced members, to have predicted that.

This all kind of reminds me of a dozen Hollywood movies, where a soldier goes off to war, or some premise, asking his best buddy (who isn't deemed able for the war) to "watch out for my wife." And then the wife and best bud fall in love. Then the soldier is thought to be killed in the line of duty, so the widow and buddy get married. But then, surprise! The soldier isn't dead after all, comes home and...

Then what?

__________________Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Thanks again to all who send their support to me. The latest update is that T has not responded to any of her communications. So to all who predicted he would disappear after she told him we were separated, you were right.

Now for the weird part. I feel bad for her. She is heartbroken that he is not responding to her. And I actually understand. It's not like they had a long talk and decided to break it off. He texted and said 'I don't want anything tondo with breaking up your marriage' and then disappeared. I know he is trying to do the right thing by breaking it off. But i do think she deserved more from him than that. I guess I am not an evil bastard after all. To see her so sad really makes me sad too.

So on top of figuring out our relationship we have this to deal with. So complex. But in a strange way, it has opened the level of communications between us as we sort through our next steps.

I agree that I don't think anybody thought you were an evil bastard. It was a tough experience and I think you did your best to work through issues and try to do the best you could.

And of course you feel bad for her, you still care about her. And I hope the renewed open communication helps you two sort through all you need to figure out.

__________________Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley