Blog Break: I’m Writing a Book (Beware Asshats)

And then the writing that writing wrote is now having writing children of its own.

And because so much writing has been happening so quickly, the writing isn’t very good.

It’s sort of like when the royals married their brother or sister and started having chinless children.

I don’t want my writing children to be chinless.

Or have three boobs.

With this in mind I’m taking a blog break so the Asshat Recovery book I’m writing might be able to have a chin and only two boobs.

I think you can see my point.

In between writing I flew to New York to pose for a lingerie shoot for HuffPo50.

I opened the door to my hotel room wearing a Cat on a Hot Tin Roof slip and heels.

I felt like I was cheating on Henry even though neither of the folks who showed up — the fabulous HuffPo50 editor, Shelley Emling, and photographer David, who made me look better than I actually do — had any desire to know me biblically.

So while I await the real photos David took I will post the photos I took of myself before they arrived.

The reason a woman over 50 posts attractively filtered photos of herself in lingerie on social media and her blog is that she’s fishing for compliments.

She wants you to write stuff like, “You are one hot mama!” or “The girls looks great!” (“the girls” in this instance = boobs).

Or, “How can you write so well when you look so good?”

(Which will offend some women, because the question implies that good female writers are unattractive, but it will not offend me.)

There will be some of you who will roll your eyes and think, “Not this again! Must she always manage to get her cleavage out?”

To you I say, send me your lingerie shots and I will duly compliment them.

You know you have them. Or at least want them.

George Burroughs I’m referring to you. I know you have a bustier hidden in one of your closets. And possibly a dog collar with spikes.

While I’m off writing my book you might like reading this (about my father’s curse) or this (about silly sex) or this (about a snooty boy).

Or you might hate reading this (if you like Donald Trump) or this (if Muslims worry you) or this (if old parents freak you out).