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Wednesday, 29 October 2014

Just when I thought I could start building up momentum, start actually being proactive in the world of blogging, I've had another unfortunate situation arise.

Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet star, spent fourteen years in the company of two humans, my son and yes, me. One of us was usually around to keep her company. Very seldom was she left alone for a long duration.

This changed dramatically when my son, Tristan, moved into his own home and took Penny to live with him. Yes, I've been there on a regular basis to take her for walks while my son is at work. Sadly, this has not been enough. My son's neighbours have complained that Penny cries the entire time that nobody is there to make her feel safe.

I know that all the upheaval, all the adjustments, must be making Penny very confused and very anxious. I thought this might happen. My son and I have to remember that she is acutely aware of all the changes going on around her.

It was heartbreaking to take Penny back from my son's home. I know how much he loves her. Yet we know the reality is that we cannot have her cause disturbance to the neighbours. My son and I have worked out an interim solution. We will have to share her. Or as rhymeswithplaguecleverly stated, "share joint custody." How true that has turned out. My son works a four day week. I shall look after her for four days and he can have her on his three day weekends.

I'm still having a frantic time with the ongoing life changes for my son and I. I know we will get there.

As much as I love Penny, it's a bit of a pain getting dressed at three in the morning to take her out for a walk. Yes, I suppose I could forget getting dressed. Living in a top floor apartment means I can't exactly just tell her to go in the garden like I once could.

I do feel terrible about not visiting many blogs over the last three months. My comments on sites have been few and far between. My last post was somewhat of a false start. So I'm being extra cautious out of the starting blocks. Hope to visit your blog soon.

There you have it. Penny content knowing she is not by herself. Once again, she takes up her sleeping position on my sofa bed. A sofa bed that, just like before, has a cover over it to protect it from her curious paws. Sleep, little angel, sleep.....

Sunday, 19 October 2014

The past three months have left me in a state of flux. "What the flux is going on?" I thought to myself more times than I care to mention.

I'm so far out of the blogging loop that the loops have loops and I'm going loopy just thinking about all the loops I've missed.

The past three months have been a time of much upheaval. Physically and emotionally. Major changes in my personal life, my son's personal life and yes, the life of Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!

My son was originally supposed to move into his own home on August 18. Then it became September 19, then September 26 and finally, yes finally, on Wednesday, October 15, my son moved into his home. That would be the day he came over to my new home to take Penny back to his new home.

Three months of uncertainty, of all consuming worry about my son's predicament, came to an end. No more of him living in limbo at my ex wife's home. Wednesday night I sat alone in the quietness of solitude. Solitude that also brought a revelation. The knowing that despite the new void, the depressive, debilitating environment I had experienced, was now starting to vanish. The dull fog dissipated. I knew that my son, indeed, that I had coped very well. I was proud of him. I was proud of myself. My little Tristan, now a young adult, embracing the independence he'd craved with with every ounce of his adventurous dreams.

Now, both our new lives begin. A sense of loss and yet a sense of a gain for us both. A harmonious balance awaits. This I know. A fresh start. A new magic.

Sensitivity, being finely tuned, did bring on one of the worst bouts of depression I've ever known. Yet the depression was all about caring, of concern, of love.

It's time to go Blog To The Future. I'm glad to be back. Thank you for all the support, the caring I've received from so many sources in the background. You have touched my heart.

My Friends In The Great Blogging Community.

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Welcome To Farcebook.

About Shy, Humble And Lovable Me

Greetings, I have been honoured to have my blog 'klahanie' featured on the B.B.C.'s radio station 'Radio 5 Live'. On a show titled: 'Pods and Blogs', I tried to highlight in my interview, that it is time to eliminate the unfair stigma that is still attached to mental health issues. I firmly believe that the media can help redress the balance. How about sensationalizing the positive recovery stories rather than the negative stereotypes that people with mental health issues have to endure?
I am a man challenging his 'inner critic.' I will not 'surrender' to my symptoms. I give myself permission to be positive. I try to live my life with positive anticipation. I refuse to let negative speculation overwhelm me. We all have the right to peace and contentment. I want to give others positive affirmations. I am not daunted by my loneliness. For in my solitude, I have discovered a determined resilience. I care passionately for people who have been undermined in an unjust world. I challenge the stigma that still surrounds mental health issues.