February 26, 2010

Apparently, when you take thousands of young men and women at or near the height of perfect human physical condition and pack them into a dorm for two weeks they have a lot of sex.

You don't say. My mind has been fucking blown.

I'll put it this way, if I was 22 years old, able to lift my body weight with one arm, and surrounded by the female athletes I see at these olympics, I wouldn't be reading a fucking book in my hotel room every night.

February 25, 2010

You know, if there really are infinite alternate universes, there must be one in which Sarah Palin and John "Torture Memos" Yoo have had a child together.

What's your reaction to that, Alternate Andi?

In the real world, Sully had back-to-back posts today asking (per the actress whom Seth MacFarlane, um, arguably used as a prop to attack Palin on Family Guy) "How many mothers who had a child with a significant disability would
drag him around 'like a loaf of bread' on a book tour as a prop?" and asserting that Yoo is "a war criminal who deliberately distorted the plain and unambiguous meaning of the law to enable war crimes."

But, hey, at least the former can be interpreted as St. Andrew of the Blessed Heart-Ache kind of acknowledging that Sarah Palin is actually Trig's mother, so maybe he's back on his meds.

Conversely, you can look at that statement and interpret his conclusion as "Well, she must not be his mother if she would do that, right? Riiiiight? Still, just asking questions here."

Since he's had to resort to being coy about the whole thing, I'll leave it up to you to decide.

February 23, 2010

There are a lot of dos and don'ts for a good Super Bowl party, but one underrated key is this: When everyone leaves, their testicles should be in the exact same shape as they were when they arrived.

I think that's actually a really good rule of thumb for any sort of successful social gathering. Super Bowl parties, wedding receptions, Bar Mitzvahs—yeah, every guy should probably leave any of those events (to name just a few) with their balls unharmed.

February 20, 2010

When you need a blustering overinflated ego

So they're turning "Shit My Dad Says" into a television series. I'm not sure if William Shatner is more perfectly cast because the first syllable of his name is the past tense, or because he's aptly described, by Agent Bedhead:

the definition for “aging blowhard” has no words, just a picture of William Shatner taken any time in the last few years.

I'm certain there's someone out there who hasn't experienced the awesome windbagginess of Shatner, although I feel fairly certain that all three of our readers have. So just in case...

Just because no Shatner retrospective would be complete without it...

And in case you need a palate cleanser. Not lesbian porn, but at least good for a giggle.

February 19, 2010

Ummmm, that's the whole point.

It always makes me laugh when people say, "The public option is dead" and it makes me laugh harder when they act surprised when it isn't dead. I'm not trying to pick on Allah here, I could be talking about Charles Krauthammer, Fred Barnes or any talking head.

What they don't seem to realize is that the Dems don't want to "Reform" healthcare, they want to take it over. They don't give a shit about how well it works, they want to control it.

If they cared, they wouldn't spend all their time attacking drug companies (who've helped extend human life about 2 decades over the last 30 years), and Obama wouldn't be running around talking about amputophilic doctors instead of saying something like, "Our healthcare professionals are the best in the world, the chaotic system is failing them." or whatever the hell collectivists believe. No, they want the public option, they want Britain's system. They want power. I don't see them settling for just paying off campaign donors with their legislation. Couple that with the cap and steal deal and the EPA's bullshit "Plant Food is a pollutant" bullshit, and they were trying to take total control of every aspect of our lives. An absolute nannyarchy. For our own good because we're just too dim to not have benevolent, intelligent, masters.

February 16, 2010

Actually, it makes sense that Denton would take this stance since he's making a pile of money by sticking his finger in the eye of those with authoritah. I still feel dirty being on his side in anything and not in the good way.

February 15, 2010

Speiilng Skliis Requlred

Spelling is important in most jobs; no boss wants to read a report that says, "We r teh BEST EVAR bruh and u shud b sooper kool dat I wurk 4 u," after all. You'd think if you were in charge of making the currency for your country, somewhere along the line, you and your entire staff would be aware of how to spell the name of your country.

Chile's mint has sacked its managing director after he sent into circulation thousands of coins bearing an incorrect spelling of the country's name.

The 50-peso coins, worth around 10 U.S. cents each, were issued in 2008 with Chile spelled "Chiie" -- an error that was only noticed late last year.

"Director Gregorio Iniguez has been fired over a series of issues, including the misspelled coins, which have brought the institution into disrepute," a mint official told Reuters on Friday, speaking on condition of anonymity.

"Some of the coins are still in circulation. They still carry their value. Some collectors are buying them up because they feel they are rare," the official said.

I'm not sure what's the worst part about this story. Is it that not a single person involved in the creation of this coin realized that they'd spelled Chile wrong? Or is it that it took them about a year to realize the mistake and recall the coins?

February 14, 2010

Title Here

I can't embed this type of vid they way they did at Weasel Zippers, but it's pretty darn good of an Apache shooting up a ridge with some unfriendlies on it. Keep the sound on. Pretty good. Exit question, what's the funniest, single scene? The one that just keeps making you laugh until you just wish it would stop. Some are funny the first time but not nearly so funny after that. Others just keep making me laugh. Not just really funny bits, but scenes that keep you laughing for minutes.

I think the tractor tipping scene from Cars has to be considered.So does the NSEA Protector leaving space dock in Galaxy Quest.Both of those just keep getting funnier and funnier until it's just like watching Felix the Cat.

Anybody remember Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates Jr.? In case you don't, he's the black professor who got arrested after a concerned neighbor thought someone might be breaking in to his home. Obama said the white cop who arrested him "acted stupidly". Then, in his capacity as Teh Won, he invited the cop and the professor out for a beer. Because white cops are bought off with beer, apparently. We know that sophisticated Harvard professors are probably above that shit.

'Twas an historical moment. Unprecedented, even. After all, the President of the United States saw fit to get involved with a relatively minor local issue, criticize an individual citizen who was just doing his job, and turn the whole thing into a PR stunt. One to be remembered forever.

February 11, 2010

Is Hooters about to go tits up?

A San Francisco based investment bank has been hired to sell the company, asking price is $250 million. Hooters has been struggling in the bad economy, and has made some really bad investment decisions, perhaps most famously the failed Hooters Air, which actually used to fly out of Scranton, heh.

Their casino has also been failing miserably.

$250 million actually sounds pretty cheap...sorta like Hooters. No, actually, I think if someone went at it with the right approach and made some necessary reforms, they could probably revive the franchise. Now I'm actually kinda curious to see what happens to Hooters. Till then, they're gonna have to hope that t-shirt sales to trashy douchebags keeps them afloat.

Heh. Some guy was taking "stock photos" of Dolphins Stadium before the Super Bowl when a turkey vulture came through the windshield, sat on the pilot's lap, and hitched a 20 mile ride to the airport where he then flew off. There's video with a voiceover by the pilot talking about what happened.

It's pretty crappy video. Which is funny considering the guy who was doing the filming was a professional, he was getting paid to film the stadium after all.

You can kind of see the bird in the chopper and you can definitely see it fly away. For a second I was reminded of a scene from Dawn of the Dead (the 70s version, not the recent one) where I thought the lazy bird might fly into the rotor. Via Say Uncle

As scientists come closer to completing a draft sequence of the Neanderthal genome, creating a living person from an ancient DNA sequence is becoming a real possibility, according to Archaeology Magazine.

In 2005, 454 Life Sciences began a project with the Max Planck Institute to sequence the genetic code of a 30,000 year old Neanderthal woman. Now nearly complete, the sequence will let scientists look at the genetic blueprint of humankind's nearest relative, understand its biology and maybe even create a living person.

Apparently singing "My Way" in a karaoke bar is an invitation to having your heart cut out.

But Gregorio, 63, a witness to countless fistfights and occasional stabbings erupting from disputes over karaoke singing, did not dare choose one beloved classic: Frank Sinatra's version of "My Way."

"I used to like 'My Way,' but after all the trouble, I stopped singing it," he said. "You can get killed."

The authorities do not know exactly how many people have been killed warbling "My Way" in karaoke bars over the years in the Philippines, or how many fatal fights it has fueled. But the news media has recorded at least six victims in the past decade and includes them in a subcategory of crime dubbed the "My Way Killings."

...

In Manila, Alisa Gabby, 33, and her relatives invariably gather before a karaoke machine, but they banned "My Way" after an uncle, listening to a friend sing the song at a bar, became enraged at the laughter coming from the next table.

The uncle, a police officer, pulled out his revolver, after which the customers at the next table quietly paid their bill and left.