Scorpio Sun, Gemini Moon: The Coffin-Makers and the Code-Breakers, the Black Widows and the Men in Black (Astrological Analysis of the NSA)

Both Scorpio and Gemini are associated with spy-craft, smuggling, and special operations albeit in very different ways. Scorpio is the covert operative who slips through the shadows, Gemini is the double agent who plays both sides. Scorpio is the power broker, Gemini is the information broker. Scorpio probes beneath the surface, Gemini reads in between the lines. Scorpio knows where the bodies are buried, Gemini knows where the phone lines are buried. Combine the secretive nature of a Scorpio Sun with a Gemini Moon’s need to constantly communicate and you get a Sun/Moon pairing that will insist on knowing everybody’s secrets even as they give up none of their own. To illustrate: using the date of its establishment as its date of birth, the National Security Agency is a Scorpio Sun, Gemini Moon. (Chart)

Scorpio likes to wear black while Gemini always comes in pairs so if there was ever a combination of the real life “Men in Black” it’s Scorpio/Gemini. Interestingly enough, the forerunner to the NSA was a 1920s government organization known only as “The Black Chamber” whose agents once persuaded Western Union officials to illegally provide them with copies of Americans’ telegrams. (Source)

Scorpio and Gemini form what’s known as a “quincunx”, an aspect that requires two radically different signs to reconcile the irreconcilable. Intense Scorpio and flippant Gemini are so divergent in their approaches they may as well be from different planets if not different dimensions. They do, however, have one thing in common: both signs possess excellent situational awareness. Scorpio’s comes from its prowess at navigating the hidden undercurrents of any interaction. Gemini’s situational awareness comes from its ultra flexible, ultra high speed mental pathways. When combined together the result is a Sun/Moon pairing that excels at “quickly sizing up a person or situation” to quote Bill Tierney. (Source) It’s safe to assume the NSA is extremely effective at “quickly sizing a person up” because, among other things, they have supercomputers powerful enough to analyze everything a person’s ever said, written, watched, searched for, bought, sold, been treated for, applied to or visited in a matter of milliseconds. Their latest one is a massive parallel processing machine code-named “The Black Widow” that can perform trillions of calculations per second across multiple langues. (Source)

Suzi and Charles Harvery refer to the Scorpio/Gemini pairing as “the village gossip” who “takes their secrets to the grave” while Linda Goodman warns her readers, “It’s impossible to keep a secret from either sign, or to retain one’s personal privacy around them”. (Source) If there’s anything the recent surveillance scandal has made clear it’s that the NSA is now the equivalent of a multi-billion dollar “village gossip” with graveyards full of secrets whose goal is to make everybody’s personal privacy impossible to retain.

Linda Goodman calls the Scorpio/Gemini combination of signs the “Pretzels of Intrigue” who “[can] detect illusion from reality or discover that the two are interchangeable”. (Source) Recent revelations have made it clear that when it comes to manipulating the 1s and 0s that comprise the information age, the NSA has no problems interchanging illusion with reality or vice-versa.

Scorpio/Gemini is probably the Sun/Moon pairing most likely to bring up sex on the first date. For instance, one Silicon Valley computer programmer who applied to the NSA shortly after 9/11 was asked during his interview if he and his wife ever engaged in “spouse swinging”. (Source) That’s a bit of a bizarre question to be asked during a job interview but it does fit with this pairing’s modus operandi as Scorpio is the sign most associated with sex while Gemini is the sign most likely to display surprising levels of curiosity. While a Scorpio/Gemini civilian might record your reaction to such a question to their smart phone, the NSA will be storing it in perpetuity at a terrifyingly massive new data center set to open in September 2013. (Source) According to a Wired Magazine cover story entitled “Watch What You Say”, the center will have “near-bottomless databases”. (Source)

That’s presumably also where they’ll be storing any phone sex conversations that have been recorded, a hobby that more than a few Scorpio/Geminis know a thing or two about. The NSA insists they’re not listening in on such calls but according to a former NSA intercept officer quoted in a 2008 ABC News article, “he and others in his section of the NSA facility at Fort Gordon routinely shared salacious or tantalizing phone calls that had been intercepted . . .” (Source)

This all seems pretty scary but the good news is “if you have nothing to hide you have nothing to fear”.

The bad news is everybody has something to hide.

Strange Coincidence: Levi Coffin, a 19th century businessman whose Ohio home was considered the “Grand Central Station” of the Underground Railroad, is a Scorpio Sun, Gemini Moon. (Chart) It’s estimated that Coffin and his wife Catherine assisted 2,000 fugitive slaves over the course of 30 years, often employing incredibly innovative messaging systems that were to the 19th century what the NSA’s intercept technologies are to the 21st century. You could say they were the original “Men in Black”:

Scorpio Sun, Gemini Moon: Levi Coffin of the Underground Railroad

In an interview he gave near the end of his life Coffin explained that taking a secretive (Scorpio) approach to communication (Gemini) was crucial when smuggling slaves to freedom, “I would invite them to come in and they would follow me into the darkened house without a word, for we knew not who might be watching and listening”. (Source) Were Coffin and his wife plying their trade in the modern day we now know exactly who would be watching and listening.

Very impressive article. I always call myself Sherlock Holmes when spying on my lover…who also likes to spy on me:)
I always have sex before the first date though, if I can. (Maybe that’s my Taurus ascendant though?)