How to Properly Celebrate Ridiculous Holidays

April 22, 2017

Photography Day: Hire an expert in iPhoneography to take your team on an educational how-to-take-amazing-pictures-with-your-iPhone tour de neighborhood. They will thank you, you will thank me.

Pi Day: If you really want to show your coworkers and instafriends how smart you are, grab a couple marionberry pies and scribble ‘happy ∏ day’ on an index card. Look at you, all punny and smartastical. Offer a prize for the person who can recite the most digits of pi….they need it.

Arbor Day: If there is ANY time to drink cheap
AF wine, this is the day to do it. Sure, you could (a) find a wholesale tree-shop and buy every person in your office a tiny sapling, and throw in an infographic on how and where you are allowed to plant these trees, or .. (b) you could twist open a bottle of that frosty Arbor Mist and get tipsy+sugar-high with your coworkers. I dunno, this Coconut Mist cocktail looks damn good. Queue “ahhhhhh..”

The Day The Music Died: KARAOKE NIGHT DEAD-ON-ARRIVAL. Slay Buddy Holly, Prince, and other fallen musical heroes on the singtrix or at your fave karaoke bar. If you’re hosting your own, make sure you have dimmable lighting and comfy lounge furniture; whip up some Old Fashioneds and Moscow Mules for courage. Knock em’ dead!

Canada Day: Poutine. Poutine. Poutine. When I worked at smallbrokestartup we hired a lot of Canadians from Waterloo.. our office was split almost 50/50. I bought huge Canada Flags and sprinkled Canada Confetti everywhere, which was a bitch to clean up. I catered Poutine from Smokes Poutinerie in Berkeley and had our lunch vendors (zesty) make Nanaimo bars.I printed out unlabeled maps of Canada and had everyone write in the territories which was really embarrassing. For them.

September 21st: Only play Earth, Wind, and Fire over the Sonos today.

National Cheese Lover’s Day: Not for the dairy-free. I’ll be putting together a bitchin cheese and charcuterie spread, like this one.

And April 30th: this meme mysteriously shows up everywhere in your office.