Tuesday, June 27

Here's a thought.

Everyone seems to be talking about how fed up with the Union the English are getting. Regardless of the reasons for that, it does look increasingly as if Scotland will finally get its independence not because the Scots succeed in breaking away from England but because the English succeed in kicking Scotland out.

So, that being said, why aren't the SNP running candidates in England? Admittedly, it would be a slightly self-effacing campaign message — "Vote for us to be rid of us forever, dour tiresome whinging parasites that we are" — but surely a bit of insulting their beloved country and fellow countrymen would be worth it for the ultimate goal of independence.

Now, before someone gets all upset, no, I'm not calling the Scots "dour tiresome whinging parasites". Contrary to stereotype, they're not that dour. No, seriously, what I'm saying is that, were the SNP to run successfully in England, their selling point would have to be "You really hate the bloody Scots, don't you?" They'd have to play up every negative and downplay every positive thing about Scots and Scotland, because English people who like Scotland probably like the Union, too. In short, they'd have to campaign on the "Scotland is crap" platform.

Suggested campaign slogans for an SNP candidate in England — in the comments, please.