Love, sex, magic.

I love the idea of love but the reality is-love is complex. It’s hard to find and hard to sustain. I actually don’t find it hard to fall in love, and people don’t find it hard to love me. It’s the reciprocal bit that’s the struggle.

I don’t think I love myself as much as I should though, and I think I need to concentrate on that more so I can attract the right kind of guys. But how do you know how much you are meant to love yourself? Whether your standards are too high?

I am extremely defensive about sex now, and I suppose it can come across as weird to people who don’t know what I’ve been through. It’s natural to flirt and use sexual banter but I’m on edge about it because of my body and trust issues. How the hell do I trust someone new with my fragility and body image post cancer?

I complained to my male friend about it . “Guys all want to have sex with me- I just don’t attract Mr nice guy. ”

My friend said:

“Single guys want to have sex all the time with anyone, it’s not about you or how sexy you are.”

The thing is most of us want someone to love us for who we are inside. Not love our bodies or merely love having sex with us. That’s part of the package yes, but not the real deal.

The magic happens when a connection is formed. When you fall in love with their mind, what they say and love how they make you feel, and then everything just falls in to place…