These articles are published in the Slough Town FC programme. The Rebels play in the Southern Premier - just seven leagues below the Premier League. I’ve been supporting Slough since the beginning of time despite now living in Brighton. After nearly 14 nomadic years we finally have a brand spanking new home in Slough.

Sunday, October 20, 2013

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE

Written for Slough Town v Merthyr Town FA Trophy 1st Qualifying round game Saturday 19th October. We lost 2-1

I never managed to get to Merthyr Tydfil
during the brief period that Slough and the team from South Wales played each
other in the Conference. In those days, we seemed to be permanently camped up
North, leaving too late, driving too fast to away games where we would often
lose not just the game but our marbles. Oh, to be young, free, single and drunk
again.

Now I'm always a bit confused by Welsh
football. It has shown a startling Renaissance with Swansea, Cardiff and Newport,
while the Welsh National league seems to operate in a parallel universe. Where
the biggest force is a team called The New Saints (which is slightly more
bearable than their previous name of Total Network Solutions) who are based in
England.

Merthyr are yet another club who have
endured some rough times. Now supporters run, Martyrs to the Cause campaigned
to get rid of their old chairman who at one point seemed to be offering to sell
their Southern league place to another club! After they were liquidated, the
fans began again as Merthyr Town in the Toolstation Western League Division One
playing home games 20 miles away in Taffs Well. But it took them just three
seasons to regain their Southern League status. A league they have won more
than any other club in its history. Now thanks to a £500,000 grant they have
installed a 3G pitch and are doing up their ground. Company secretary John
Strand said: "The club sees this development as a springboard for the club
to become a hub for football development in Merthyr Tydfil and the surrounding
areas." More matches on the pitch, more income, more people involved in
the club. I know I sound like the pub bore with my support for artificial
pitches, but they just make so much economic sense.

This is something that is going to come to
a non-league head if Maidstone United win promotion to the Conference South.
Their artificial pitch saw just one of their games called off last year, where
grounds either resembled the Somme or Narnia. They won promotion with average crowds
of 1,500 and are now flying high in the Ryman Premier. Their clued-up co-owner
recently penned a very sensible letter to the Greg Dyke, the new FA chairman. “Although
we took the risk of putting in 3G, other clubs don’t. One major reason is that
leagues from the Conference upwards do not currently allow 3G pitches in their
league competitions. We understand that the FA is unable and/or unwilling to
push the cause of 3G to them because of the Premier League’s influence in your
committees. Faced with this strange barrier to what could be a hugely positive
business option for many football clubs, we decided to set up 3G4US, a group of
50 football clubs from Football League, Scottish League and non-league who are
all in favour of 3G pitches. The Football League don’t want to take any action
because they might upset the Premier League, who are against 3G and the
Football Conference don’t want to take action because they don’t want to upset
the Football League.

And the FA can’t show an example by giving
the green light to clubs to play on 3G in the FA Cup because the PREMIER LEAGUE
WON’T ALLOW IT! It’s madness and a metaphor for how football is being run in
this country.”

To me Merthyr Town and Maidstone United are
taking an important lead and are where Slough want to be. Playing at Arbour
Vale, offering more than just football and bringing the most multi-cultural
town in the country together, by cheering on the Rebels. It makes sense for it
be on an artificial pitch. But I would also like us to grow the lettuces for
the free range meat burgers, have compost bins and compost loos. And a
club-shop that sells programmes just to annoy Sue.

Clubs need to think outside the box, if
they are to build a sustainable future for themselves. And with more wet and
wild weather thanks to climate change, it's those that adapt that will decide
whether they either sink or swim.