News Round-Up for the Week of 5/6-5/12

All the most important video game news and rumors you missed during your 9-5! My name’s Zachery Wright and I am here to save you a week’s worth of browsing. So, buckle up for ComedyNGaming’s first weekly roundup of the news you need in your life.

Prey speed runner achieves incredible time

Within the first couple days of release, speed runner DraQu finished the game in an astounding 20 minutes. For reference, it is taking most anywhere from 20 to 60 hours — Prey isn’t a short game to say the least. Not to be outdone by himself, DraQu beat his own just a few days later with a time just under 11 minutes.

I honestly don’t know if I can even do anything that impressively fast, so props to DraQu for making all of our jaws drop to the floor.

“LEEEEROOOOOOOY JEEEEEENKIIIINS” turned 12 this week

May 11 marked the 12 year anniversary of the day everyone’s favorite internet troll made his daring charge into the video game hall of fame. With 12 years on this infamous clip, it is only natural we would have 12 years of internet memes and parodies to compliment the original’s comedy gold. At least I have chicken.

Assassin’s Creed‘s next entry to be set in Egypt?

After taking a year off, Ubisoft is rumored, and most likely has, a new Assassin’s Creed up their sleeves for this year’s E3. Supposedly titled Assassins Creed Origins according to an anonymous source, this new entry will take the series the furthest back in time its been, if you don’t count the Adam and Eve flashbacks from the second title. Of course, all of this could be nothing. Here’s to hoping that is so and we can finally get that Beyond Good and Evil 2 we’ve been promised!

Although this looks great, I just want Beyond Good and Evil 2 already!

Square Enix selling Hitman developer, IO Interactive

Square Enix is looking to sell IO Interactive, the developer of the Hitman stealth games; Square cites a push for less Western development as the reason for the sale. With a recent rise in JRPGs and other Japanese style games — just look at the success of Final Fantasy 15, Persona 5 or the new Fire Emblem — it comes as no surprise that Square is looking to ramp up those types of projects. Oddly enough, though, Square Enix announced a new Thief game and movie adaptation were this week. As the fifth game in the series and the series introduction to cinema, it seems Square isn’t fully divesting in Western developers.

The entire game centers on the mystery of what this goth dude is reaching for. Jk, I honestly don’t know.

Bob Ross: coming to a MOBA near you

Yes, you read the headline correctly. SMITE, Hi-Rez Studio’s crack at the Multiplayer Online Battle Arena (MOBA for short) genre, is getting a peculiar character skin this month. On May 9for PC and May16 for consoles, SMITE fans will be able to go face-to-face as the famous painter. In the tradition of Ross’ infamous happy trees, the skin is for Sylvanus, a giant tree creature. You can pick it up for $9.99 or 700 in-game gems.

Alan Wake, a horror-adventure title released for the Xbox 360 and PC, is being taken off the Xbox Live marketplace as well as Steam on May 15 due to a music licensing issue. If you own the game by that date, you can continue to play it. However, after the 15th, Alan Wake will disappear. Fitting, considering the game focuses on the disappearance of Wake’s wife and, eventually, his own disappearance.

Someone actually ate THAT fast food order from San Andreas

Anyone who has played Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas will remember Big Smoke’s order in the drive-thru. Well, a Youtuber by the name of Matt Stonie took on the challenge and completed the consumption of Smoke’s entire order.

Props to Matt for eating as much as a digital character!

Star Wars Battlefront 2 confirmed to have three times more content

During an EA post-earnings conference, it was revealed that the new Star Wars Battlefront sequel will pack a whole three times more content than the first did on the day of release. This comes as a relief to everyone who has high hopes for this game, seeing as EA never ceases to disappoint everyone every single time they release something. To be fair though, the release of Battlefield 1 did give us a reason to be optimistic for everyone’s favorite shooter set in a galaxy far, far away.