Father now wants shared custody

I was with the father of my baby until 3 days before the baby (Brody) was born. His father never showed up at the hospital until he was a day old. There, he said "you don't wat dad till youre old enough to go fishing" because he couldnt take the crying. Then the father told me he didnt look like him, so must not be his child.We have had no contact since. So, I decided to file for sole custody. Brody is now 8 months old and his father showed up at court wanting him every other weekend, and holidays. I think I am going to be sick!His fathers not a horrible person, but I feel I have valid concerns... and my baby has not been away from me for one single night yet. Brody is going through major seperation issues lately and will scream for 4-5 hours straight until he falls asleep if I am not around.I breastfeed Brody to sleep, and if he wakes at night. The father lives in a house without electricty or running water. If he was to take the baby to his moms, well both of his parents chain smoke, and my baby has athsma. They also do not celebrate any holidays, so I cannot see him taking this baby on holidays! I just dont get why a father who never asked once about his child is all of a sudden wanting to see him, but he would never take the first step to seeing him.I want to know what rights I have for Brody to make a transition to get to know his family, and how I can go as long as possible without over night visits. I met up with a lawyer last week, and everything I said to him he had an excuse for, kinda felt like he was the fathers lawyer, not mine! I am very frustrated and nervous about the whole court thing, we go to mediation in 2 days!

I was with the father of my baby until 3 days before the baby (Brody) was born. His father never showed up at the hospital until he was a day old. There, he said "you don't wat dad till youre old enough to go fishing" because he couldnt take the crying. Then the father told me he didnt look like him, so must not be his child.We have had no contact since. So, I decided to file for sole custody. Brody is now 8 months old and his father showed up at court wanting him every other weekend, and holidays. I think I am going to be sick!His fathers not a horrible person, but I feel I have valid concerns... and my baby has not been away from me for one single night yet. Brody is going through major seperation issues lately and will scream for 4-5 hours straight until he falls asleep if I am not around.I breastfeed Brody to sleep, and if he wakes at night. The father lives in a house without electricty or running water. If he was to take the baby to his moms, well both of his parents chain smoke, and my baby has athsma. They also do not celebrate any holidays, so I cannot see him taking this baby on holidays! I just dont get why a father who never asked once about his child is all of a sudden wanting to see him, but he would never take the first step to seeing him.I want to know what rights I have for Brody to make a transition to get to know his family, and how I can go as long as possible without over night visits. I met up with a lawyer last week, and everything I said to him he had an excuse for, kinda felt like he was the fathers lawyer, not mine! I am very frustrated and nervous about the whole court thing, we go to mediation in 2 days!

first of all...I dont know what kind of lawyer you saw but if all these statements you are making are valid (he doesn't have running water/electricity) no court is going to hand over a child to a man in that predicament. Aside from the fact that he has never even seen the child...he will most likely get supervised visits at first until you feel comfortable or the court feels his situation is better. However, with that being said...anything can happen in family court and you cant keep your son from visiting his biological father if the father wants to see him. Unfortunately, that is a right that a father has no matter if he is a loser or not...

first of all...I dont know what kind of lawyer you saw but if all these statements you are making are valid (he doesn't have running water/electricity) no court is going to hand over a child to a man in that predicament. Aside from the fact that he has never even seen the child...he will most likely get supervised visits at first until you feel comfortable or the court feels his situation is better. However, with that being said...anything can happen in family court and you cant keep your son from visiting his biological father if the father wants to see him. Unfortunately, that is a right that a father has no matter if he is a loser or not...

I'd find a lawyer that specialized in family custody issues if you had time. Those are valid concerns, but maybe the lawyer you saw was bringing up the excuses to show you what you might hear in court.

I'd find a lawyer that specialized in family custody issues if you had time. Those are valid concerns, but maybe the lawyer you saw was bringing up the excuses to show you what you might hear in court.

Unfortunately he has a right to visitation no matter how long he has been out of the child's life. I went through this with my son. As long as he is getting visitation you should be getting child support including back child support since the child's birth. You need to get a good family law attorney, especially if he has one. At first visits will be supervised, but will gradually move to unsupervised, longer visits. The standard is usually every other weekend, every other holiday, and 1 month in the summer. If you can use child support as leverage that would be great. I was able to get my ex boyfriend to sign over his rights because he did not want to have to pay child support. You will probably not be able to mediate this, you will probably be going in front of a judge. Your current lawyer is probably just trying to prepare you for what the courts are going to be like. The only one that the courts would consider valid would be the concern for running water and electricity, though there will probably be a social worker involved anyways that will come to your house and the bio dad's house and check out the environment. He will need to have all the things that you have, crib, car seat, etc. He probably only showed up because he was served with papers and felt guilty about not being a part of his son's life. I live in Texas, so everything I've told you is based on Texas law and came from my experiences with my attorney. I'm sure you've already been to mediated. Let us know how everything goes.

Unfortunately he has a right to visitation no matter how long he has been out of the child's life. I went through this with my son. As long as he is getting visitation you should be getting child support including back child support since the child's birth. You need to get a good family law attorney, especially if he has one. At first visits will be supervised, but will gradually move to unsupervised, longer visits. The standard is usually every other weekend, every other holiday, and 1 month in the summer. If you can use child support as leverage that would be great. I was able to get my ex boyfriend to sign over his rights because he did not want to have to pay child support. You will probably not be able to mediate this, you will probably be going in front of a judge. Your current lawyer is probably just trying to prepare you for what the courts are going to be like. The only one that the courts would consider valid would be the concern for running water and electricity, though there will probably be a social worker involved anyways that will come to your house and the bio dad's house and check out the environment. He will need to have all the things that you have, crib, car seat, etc. He probably only showed up because he was served with papers and felt guilty about not being a part of his son's life. I live in Texas, so everything I've told you is based on Texas law and came from my experiences with my attorney. I'm sure you've already been to mediated. Let us know how everything goes.

Well, the father didn't show up for mediation, he called the court the day before said he didn't want to go and we would figure things out on our own. He has never made contact with me since this baby was born.It makes me feel like he only went to court because he was worried about child support, and the judge said she would not be going after him for child support because he lives off state aid for his other two kids. But, he told my friends that he is working at a garage under the table like 40-60 hours a week! We go back to see the judge Thursday, so hopefully he won't show and I will get what I want, not sure how it works now, but sounds good to me.

Well, the father didn't show up for mediation, he called the court the day before said he didn't want to go and we would figure things out on our own. He has never made contact with me since this baby was born.It makes me feel like he only went to court because he was worried about child support, and the judge said she would not be going after him for child support because he lives off state aid for his other two kids. But, he told my friends that he is working at a garage under the table like 40-60 hours a week! We go back to see the judge Thursday, so hopefully he won't show and I will get what I want, not sure how it works now, but sounds good to me.

You might see if he will voluntarily sign over his rights. Then you just need an attorney to draw up the papers, he'll need to sign them in front of a notary, and then you'll file them with your lawyer. That is the route I took. He is financially responsible for the child no matter what his income is. Just getting full custody doesn't mean he can't come back later and get visitation. You need his rights severed if you don't want that to happen eventually. My husband is in the process of adopting my son. I have never been so happy as the day the bio dad signed over his rights, it even topped the birth of my son, because it meant that he would never be able to have visitation.

You might see if he will voluntarily sign over his rights. Then you just need an attorney to draw up the papers, he'll need to sign them in front of a notary, and then you'll file them with your lawyer. That is the route I took. He is financially responsible for the child no matter what his income is. Just getting full custody doesn't mean he can't come back later and get visitation. You need his rights severed if you don't want that to happen eventually. My husband is in the process of adopting my son. I have never been so happy as the day the bio dad signed over his rights, it even topped the birth of my son, because it meant that he would never be able to have visitation.

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