Monday, May 18, 2015

Rap mogul and the reincarnation of Joe Camel, Jay-Z, treated subscribers of his streaming service Tidal to a private concert at New York City's Terminal 5 Friday night. Hov performed a bevvy of old tracks during his B-Sides show, along with a freestlyle taking shots at his new competitors Spotify, YouTube and Apple.

Below you can find the transcribed lyrics, courtesy of Billboard, emphasis mine.

“I don’t need no middlemen to talk to my n—-s / I understand if you don’t understand I figure my n—-a / That’s where we differ / I take what’s mine you accept what they give you / I get you/ I don’t take no checks / I take my respect / Pharrell even told me “Go with the best bet” / Jimmy Iovine offered the safety net / Google came around with a crazy check / I feel like YouTube is the culp-a-rit /. N—-s pay you a tenth of what you supposed to get / You know n—a die for equal pay, right? You know what I’m worth / I ain’t your slave right / You know I aint shucking and jivin’ and high fivin’ / You know this ain’t back in the days right / But i can’t tell by the way they kill Freddie Gray right / Shot down / Mike Brown / Like the way they did Tray right? / Y’all gone’ keep choking’ n—-s / we gon’ turn style / I ain’t your token n—a / You know i came in this game independent right / Tidal / My own label / same difference / Oh n—-s is skeptical of they own shit / You bought nine iPhones and Steve Jobs is rich / Phil Knight worth trillions you still bought those kicks / Spotify’s nine billion and they ain’t say shit / ‘Lucyyy you got some splainin’ to do’ / The only one they hatin’ on look the same as you / That’s cool / I know they tryin’ to bamboozle you / Spending billions on meryin’ to confusin you / I had to tell myself “Hov, get used to it” / It’s politics as usual.”Last month Vogue reported that Jay-Z and Beyonce's cumulative net worth eclipsed ONE BILLION DOLLARS!!! But that hasn't stopped Mr. Carter from shamelessly comparing the struggles of his digital en devour to the tragic death's of several, young African-American men. It shouldn't really come as a surprise. After all, it was almost a decade ago when Hov first informed us that he wasn't a businessman, but rather a *business* man. Sadly, that still doesn't make it any less insulting. I guess we can all take some small solace in the fact that he didn't pimp out Tamir Rice's death for profit. That, and the fact that Tidal is absolutely nailing their Hindenburg impression. -fresh (@danye33)

Jordan Kilganon is no stranger to danger. The 6'1 baller has made a career out of dunking, wowing crowds across the country with his authoritarian throw downs. But it's his most recent dunk, the "Lost and Found," that has twitter users repetitively hammering down on the screaming face emoji.This 360, self alley-opp puts any of Zach LaVine's "at the time great, but now that we have this to compare it to merely okay" slams from this year's NBA Dunk Contest to shame. Any chance we can get this guy on a 10 day contract so he's eligible in 2016?-fresh (@danye33)

Friday, May 8, 2015

The band rocked New York City's Ed Sullivan Theater for just over an hour Thursday night, as part of the "Legends of Letterman" series- a farewell tour for the iconic late night host. DMB first appeared on the Late Show twenty years ago and this performance was a beautiful way to bring everything full circle.They played a half dozen or so songs including "Don't Drink The Water," "Stay or Leave," and "Grey Street," but the highlight of their set was the debut of their new song "Black and Bluebird." The soft song sounds very similar to the majority of the tracks from 2012's Away From The World, and features quintessential Dave lyrics about mortality, space and love.Dave Matthews Band kicks off their 2015 Summer Tour next week in Austin, Texas. They'll play 47 shows in 39 cities, wrapping things up in Phoenix September 13th.

As for Letterman, he'll ride off into the late night moonlight May 20th.-fresh (@danye33)you can download the new song here

Lost in Friday's Bill Simmons Mailbag, which centered around the ultimate #FirstWorldSportsProblem of whether or not he should go to Vegas for the Pacquiao-Mayweather fight or stay in Los Angeles for Game 7 of the Clippers/Spurs series (despite having a family obligation that rendered the whole question useless), comes this incredibly insensitive hypothetical about being in the same room as cocaine and resurrecting the late Len Bias from his grave. Take it away Bill!

"Now, some might say I cheated by not including the other Bill Simmons — a.k.a. “El Wingador,” the renowned chicken wing eating champion who went to jail for cocaine trafficking. But I’ve been in the same room with cocaine only once in my life — during Game 7, 2004 ALCS, the bathroom of an undisclosed Boston bar, when I had gone in there to pee and inadvertently walked in on two guys snorting lines off the bathroom sink. (In their defense, the Red Sox were trying to come back from 3-0 and there were no laws in Boston that night.) It’s true: Lenny Bias blew three to four Celtics titles, but he also ruined any chance of me ever trying cocaine.

That raises a separate mailbag question (I’ll save you the energy): Would I rather have those three to four titles and maybe four to five extra Bird-McHale years (since Bias would have extended their careers) even if it meant there would have been a good chance I’d have at least tried cocaine in college (and then who knows?) … or would I rather keep things the way they were? And the answer, obviously, is OF COURSE I WOULD HAVE WANTED THE EXTRA TITLES AND THE EXTRA BIRD-MCHALE YEARS!!! ARE YOU CRAZY??????? Oh screw it, I’m going to hell anyway."

The above text comes at the tail end of a response to a question about what the tanking nickname should be for NBA team's interested in acquiring the services of Australian phenom Ben Simmons.

Somehow, Bill managed to turn this question into a #humblebrag about never having tried cocaine, while (not so) secretly wishing that wasn't the case. What he is essentially asking is would be worth it to reverse one of the biggest sports tragedies of the past thirty years, and bring a young man back from the dead, on the off chance that he might not have the self control to stay away from blow.