This question can be Fe like but not necessary since this can be heart fix or So instinct, perhaps even Te. You may not genuinely care what people think but if their thoughts and feelings effect your plan then you should care at least from utilitian perspective.

This question can be Fe like but not necessary since this can be heart fix or So instinct, perhaps even Te. You may not genuinely care what people think but if their thoughts and feelings effect your plan then you should care at least from utilitian perspective.

Utilitarian perspective? FiNe cares about other's feelings and thoughts in the big perspective (mature INFP's), however the need to "fit in" has to be measured by how much the action in question will affect other people.

Ex. With SJ's and NJ's there is a need to "fit in" or be appropriate in social settings; dressing appropriately or one's topic of conversation. As an INFP, I would be happy in jean shorts and T-shirt or inserting an "off colored comment" at times. SJ's and NJ's can take this personally. In order to not be offensive, then of course, I would "watch my language" and try to "dress accordingly." However if those people are not around, I would not care in the least what other's thought about me or the need to "fit in" socially.

Utilitarian perspective? FiNe cares about other's feelings and thoughts in the big perspective (mature INFP's), however the need to "fit in" has to be measured by how much the action in question will affect other people.

Ex. With SJ's and NJ's there is a need to "fit in" or be appropriate in social settings; dressing appropriately or one's topic of conversation. As an INFP, I would be happy in jean shorts and T-shirt or inserting an "off colored comment" at times. SJ's and NJ's can take this personally. In order to not be offensive, then of course, I would "watch my language" and try to "dress accordingly." However if those people are not around, I would not care in the least what other's thought about me or the need to "fit in" socially.

Maybe this is more of an FiNeSi? versus Fe Se function?

Yes, utilitarian. Doing something simply because it benefits you, instead of trully trully believing that this is how you want things to be.

In the case I am not like this I would insult quite a few people around me. Therefore it is fully reasonable to keep your mouth under control in some situations. Learning how to pick your fights is one of the most important lessons in life. (not every social calculation is Fe based)

I've recently been in a scenario that requires "Fe", although not the social convention version of it. I'm back in school taking classes, and for one of the classes 90% of the assignments are group projects. So, I'm in this little group of five people and the normal problem dynamics start to emerge: a few have a tendency to not do work, and a few have a tendency to do the work, but also want to control it. I don't want the entire semester to become more problematic, and even though these people are strangers, I'd rather they have a pleasant experience because I get hints about the difficulties in their own lives. So, this week I made certain to show attention to each person as they shared ideas, I offered more control to a new member that is active and possibly controlling, and I said a couple of thoughtful words for one who was sick, another who has a heavy work-load this week. I told everyone I'm happy to do whatever is needed that others don't want to do, and so offered to contribute but also give up all control. That compensates for the two potential problems being presented in the dynamic.

The pragmatic/utilitarian part of what I did was to be willing to dismiss any part of my contribution that would cause waves, even though I would prefer to have a normal amount of 'voice' in the interaction for myself. The genuine part is that at least one of the more controlling people is dealing with a lot of problems in her life right now that she doesn't have any control over, so she needs her voice heard more than I do. I also tend to think most people's lives are hard, so anytime you show people some kindness, you offer a little help in the world. The most important part of my voice in that specific social scenario is kindness over ideas. I can have my ideas heard elsewhere in less personal, social contexts, and I don't know when that is true for others.

Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors. Fear of reality creates myopic moralitySo I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
(from Blue Velvet)

Yes, utilitarian. Doing something simply because it benefits you, instead of trully trully believing that this is how you want things to be.

In the case I am not like this I would insult quite a few people around me. Therefore it is fully reasonable to keep your mouth under control in some situations. Learning how to pick your fights is one of the most important lessons in life. (not every social calculation is Fe based)

Ah...but we can do this same action in the most calculating way!

However, around my boss or others in authority over me...yes. It is very difficult to keep my mouth shut at times. But very beneficial.