Rapper, Cash Money Records co-founder/co-CEO, and Lil Wayne father figure Birdman (now known as Baby, for some reason, although his real name is Bryan Williams) has offered to bet $5 million on the Patriots to win the Super Bowl. $5 million! While many reports claim he has already made this bet, the phrasing of this tweet (warning, um, language) indicates that he is simply looking for someone to bet with. Even better, he is making this bet because he claims that BenJarvus Green-Ellis is his nephew.

I…. I don’t know if I’m equipped to handle all of this information. Let’s break this story down.

Williams is willing to bet $5 million, which is a lot of money. It is not, however, a lot of money to him. Last year, he bet $1 million on the Green Bay Packers to win the Super Bowl. That seems almost inconsequential at this point, because his net worth is $100 million. When did that happen? YMCMB is successful, but I had no idea they were that successful. I can’t wait for Drake to spend $8 million on sweaters in a few years.

As for the claim the BenJarvus Green-Ellis is his nephew, it seems strange that we have never heard this before. However, there are a few reasons to believe it is true. For one, Law Firm isn’t the kind of flashy player people clamor to get near. More importantly, they are both from New Orleans and Green-Ellis went to high school six miles from the area in which Williams grew up. The sixteen-year age difference also lends credence to this idea.

The strangest part is the idea that Birdman (er, Williams) is interested in making this bet but has not made it yet. Does Vegas not want to take such a big bet? Is he looking for unorthodox odds? There’s no mention of betting lines in that tweet, although he doesn’t project much clarity of thought with that tweet to begin with. It took two days for this story to come out because the blogosphere took that long to decipher what he had said.

All told, this is an absurd situation. Even if Williams doesn’t wind up making the bet, the idea of wagering $5 million on an event simply because your cousin is participating is ridiculous.