The 10 Worst People at Houston Concerts

Look, Houston. We like you. We really do. You're kind of the ham to our delicious sammich, for the most part. But lately as we've ventured out to take care of music bidness (you know how we do), we've noticed a trend. We've got some naughty concert-goers out there, and we would like to shame you into submission, if you'll let us.

It's for your own good, really. We wouldn't do it if there wasn't good reason, and besides...you don't want to be that person at a concert, now do you?

Here's our list of the worst ten people at Houston concerts. We won't post your face or anything, but let's make sure we clean up our acts, a'ight? You don't want to see our stern faces, trust us.

Toddlers
If you bring a pre-schooler to a concert, you have ruined our concert-going experience and devalued your own ticket. You're going to have to run the kid back and forth to the restroom because kids have tiny bladders. They're going to squirm like micro-bacteria all over the $75 seat you wasted on them. You'll have to answer their nagging questions all night, which wouldn't be so bad if they were asking what critics thought of the band's latest effort. But no. They'll just ask why the sky is blue or "when is it gonna be over?"

My wife bought us seats in the first ten rows of a Beastie Boys/Run-DMC double bill. The only place worse for a toddler is a firefight on a battlefield. The kid bawled like a cat in heat all night. My wife was furious, but once the Beasties got going, I no longer was feeling the little man's pain. He was someone else's problem and it was time to get ill. JESSE SENDEJAS JR.

Overindulgers
I enjoy an adult refreshment as much as the next fellow, but Too Drunk Guy is a serious mood-killer at a show, or anywhere else, come to think of it.

The problem is drunkenness affects every person differently. If he could just sit there, smashed, grooving to the music like Too High Guy, I wouldn't mind Too Drunk Guy. But, no. This fellow becomes a babbling jackass, a sloppy mess or, worst of all, ready to fight and take out all the frustrations he is drowning with drinks on everyone in Section B, Row 31. JESSE SENDEJAS JR.

Too Cool for School
Since my kids are in bands, I go to a lot of shows featuring local musicians. The worst people at those shows are the people who come to see a single band and leave after that band plays.

If you made the effort to come all the way to the show, why not see the whole show? Do you also arrive to a movie late, watch only the second half-hour then leave the theater to stand in the lobby talking with people while the movie ends?

I know, you probably know the lead singer for that one hipster band on the bill and you came to drool over him, but since you are already here and there are two other bands playing tonight, why not stick around and listen to music? Maybe you'll hear something that reminds you why you like music in the first place. JESSE SENDEJAS JR.

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The only people I hope not to run into at a show are the houston press, specifically those who participated in this silly excuse for hipsters to hold a group-whine.

I don't have a toddler but I can probably borrow one for a day show, and if I see a tall drunkard who looks ready to boogie I shall buy him a Hurricane, point him towards the people staring down their noses at their fellow patrons, and suggest that he take a selfie with you. With any luck his hurricane will end up on your ironic, non sequitur t-shirt.

1) I took my daughter to a Social Distortion show at 8 years old, and she was singing along to most of the songs. I think younger then 7 would be too young for a show unless they understand why they're there.

2) I don't mind picture taking at a show, but if thats all you're there to do, keep your ass out of the crowd. tired of seeing people in the crowd taking pics, with bored looks on their face.

3) Going to a show is not a free pass to neglect hygiene. You will be sweating. so remember the deodorant... layer that shit on!

I hate the woodlands. Seats, and over priced beer and food ($4 for water?!). The woodlands to me is like going to a theater to watch a band play on the movie screen. To me, it's not a real concert venue. HOB is better for shows, but $6 for a little lone star beer is the same price for a 6 pack of premium beer at the store. STOP taking advantage of music fans. These venues disgust me

its hard enough to get people to go to local concerts.... at least they (the worse) are supporting the scene.... plus i dont know if yall Houston Press get enough props for your music awards... that is a real highlight for our local musicians and me.... thanks so much.....

True story, I was waiting on the headliner to come on at the HOB and this tall guy came & stood in front of me , I asked him if he could move over so I can see the band? His answer was; I thought you came here to look at my butt? my reply:yeah you have a great butt, but I'm here to see the band. We both laughed!

Oh and last gripe.......Why do I have to drive freaking 82 miles one way to the Pavilion for a concert? Houston is a HUGE city. There should be a centrally located concert venue. How about using the old Astroworld property to build another Pavilion? I wouldn't mind the exorbitant prices for drinks and food if it was closer to home. I live on the coast and going to a concert at The Woodlands almost requires a hotel stay.

Another sucky thing is venue's with an upper and lower area, that allow people to throw beer down on the people who were willing to pay more money to be closer. It's not my fault you were too cheap to buy a floor ticket. I don't even drink, why should I have to go home soaked in beer?

"You'll have to answer their nagging questions all night, which
wouldn't be so bad if they were asking what critics thought of the
band's latest effort."

-- I don't know many people, especially true music lovers, who stand around talking about what the critics thought of a particular album. This is one of the funniest self-aggrandizing statements I've heard in awhile.

"The worst people at those shows are the people who come to
see a single band and leave after that band plays."

-- Maybe, the other bands, in their view, suck.

"Do you also arrive to a movie late, watch only the
second half-hour then leave the theater to stand in the lobby talking
with people while the movie ends?"

-- This isn't a very good analogy, given that a film, generally, must be taken as a whole to be enjoyed. However, if one goes to a show and listens to one particular band of interest, he/she can leave having enjoyed the occasion without having to sit through the remaining bands on the bill. If one misses the first half of a film, one is unlikely to enjoy the second half. Try again.

If my mom hadn't taken me to see Neil Diamond when I was a kid- I probably wouldn't have appreciated Neurosis at 20. I'm 40 now with my own little monster- and I'll take her to shows I think she can appreciate, but appreciate or not- it's exposure to music at an early age that makes for accommodating grown ups.

Every single one of these should just be dismissed as adolescent pet peeves. Big deal, other people exist and they go to shows, "being like SUPER annoying living their lives all in front of me while I'm like totally trying to watch!!1" There's no mention of cell phones, beyond a flash which exists on lots of photo technology. You'd think phones would be #1 most annoying, since there's nothing worse than having to watch a show through a fence of recording cellphones.

P.s. I have attended shows many times to see one band then leave. Sometimes it's because that is all I have time for. Sometimes it's because I am then driving to another music venue to see another band I know is playing about an hour later.
Anyhow, I apologize for paying money to support the local music scene on my terms and by my schedule but not sticking around to see your son's band play in front of you and his bandmates parents.

The Weed Smokers.
I'm not mad that you smoke pot. That's fine. In fact, most of my friends smoke quite a bit of weed. But why do you HAVE to do it in a crowded music venue? You can't smoke in your car before the show and then again after? Why do you assume I want to smell your rank ass weed? I do not. I never did.
Fact of the matter is, the only reason to smoke weed during a music performance is so that everybody around you will think, "Oh. They're cool. They smoke weed."
That isn't what we're thinking though. Please stop it.

You forgot the overly PDA couples: I was at Soundgarden recently and it was packed! Halfway through the show a couple shoved their way in front of me and proceed to swallow each others heads the rest of the show! Next time why don't you just stay home FOR FREE with some Soundgarden on the itunes and get freeky Alll By Yourselves!

Btw, I'm 6'1-ish and i'm totally sorry others don't do this but I totally respect the sightlines of those behind me and often offer my spot to the less-tall-than-me (girls usually--dudes wouldn't cotton to this).

No mention of "the talkers"?!? The ones who have something REALLY important that they ABSOLUTELY MUST discuss during the concert. In VERY LOUD VOICES. They are by FAR #1 annoying in my book.
Totally with you on the tall guys though. I'm 5'2", and platform heels can only do so much.

As a tall person (6' 4'') I have to make a comment. I have never in my life intentionally stood in front of someone shorter, nor have I ever bullied my way up to the front or anything like that. I'm always very conscious of who is around me. Having said that, I like to be close to the stage, so I frequently get there early to be up front. What bugs me, is when people who have gotten there after me, complain because I'm too tall and can't see. Ummm, #1 - I was here first. I took the time to arrive at the venue early so I'm sorry you're behind me. And #2 - You obviously saw how tall I was, so why in the hell did you stand behind me in the first place? That's on you, not me.

You touched on it with the "Space Invaders", but you should have mentioned the guys who like to start moshpits at inopportune times. I remember when I saw the Black Keys and people started moshing. This happened in Amsterdam, but the rule still applies. Just because the music is loud does not mean you can start shoving people and throwing punches.

Given that the title specified Houston concerts, rather than concerts in general, i was hoping that the column called out specific people:
Steve Spudnucker
You know how in baseball scouts refer to five-tool athletes? Well, Steve Spudnucker is a five-tool tool. Not only is he invariably drunk, high, and malodorous, but he's a finger-in-the-mouth whistler. He's quite impressive at it in terms of volume...not so much with the timing....etc.

Taking young kids to shows is awesome. That kid is going to grow up being able to tell his pals he went to a fucking Beastie Boys show which will never happen again. More importantly, if you cant hear the show because of a crying kid the sound tech isnt doing his job. Maybe you should take out your earplugs old man!

and about the over indulgers, dude, you are at a show, some people like to release, just move if they are a problem. If you are under 30, you need to re-asses life. Maybe you should live a little!

@angie.taylor Oh and what moron decided that having outdoor concerts in Houston during July and August was a good idea? Not only that but we are going to make you walk a mile or more from the parking lot to get there.

@angie.taylor I agree with you. I live in Montrose. If I see a band is playing the woodlands, I'll check to see if they are playing another Texas city or New Orleans and make a weekend out of it. You'll have a better time in any other city you stay overnight in.

@angie.taylor and vice versa, the pavillion is right down the street for me :) on the other hand, i wish to go out to the city more, lots more venues and variety. so, i either have to pay for a cab which is an additional 50-60 or a hotel down there. shrug, first world problems....

@jigmonster I totally agree. The cellphone is the single most annoying thing at a concert. Last night at Alice in Chains/Jane's Addiction, the camera at the front of the stage trying to get a good shot of the bassist for the big video screens, had to keep switching views to avoid us all having to watch the show through somebody's phone that was recording the whole damn show. It's cool to take a few pics, maybe even a short (not the whole damn song) video clip, or whatever, but jeez people, put the damn phone down. There are people behind you who can't see the damn stage thru your phone.

sometimes that really tall person has a really short companion - my husband is 6'9" and I am barely 5 ft tall - if we try to accommodate shorter persons then all I am seeing are backs and if we try to accommodate my lack of height then the person(s) behind us will see only my husband's back - we can't win. :)

@BobbyFreshpants How awesome is it to have permanent hearing damage because your stupid parents thought it was cool to take you to a loud concert at such a young age? You are a moron, and I hope you don't reproduce.

@BobbyFreshpants LOL. Clearly I am Johnny No Fun, although, since I am not under 30, most people just call me Grumpy Old Man.

The thing about the kid being there was he cried most of the night because the show was so loud. I'm a dad and I wouldn't let my kid cry in public because a) i don't want my kid crying because that means he is uncomfortable. Two hours of uncomfortable just because you wanna hear "Hold It Now Hit it" is bordering on child abuse; and b) be considerate to other people who spent their money to sit here.

True, one day he is going to have the beginning of a good story "I went to a Beastie Boys concert,..." but it won't be such a good ending when he reveals he was a pre-schooler still in a shitty diaper with no memory of the show.

As for the drinkers, why should I have to move if they are drunken assholes? I can only see Regina Spektor in the place she is performing in - they can go "release" at a bar, in the park, under a bridge or in their parents' basement, like all the other drunk fuck-ups.

@kathiemuncy1 Perhaps he should wear you around his chest in one of those infant carrier things. Again, it's not a tall man's fault you're short. Wear tall shoes if you're tired of not being able to see. It's easier and more comfortable than me slouching and ruing my posture so you can see. The world doesn't revolve around you.

@tishsendejas I agree wholeheartedly. Even before I became a parent it would piss me off to see toddlers at concerts. If my head is ringing (not that I mind) with the sound I can't imagine how those parents are fucking up their kids' eardrums. Selfish and stupid.

As for the over-indulgers, Mr./Mrs. Too Drunk, or whatever y'all want to call them, grow the fuck up If you can't hold your liquor or whatever, don't drink. There's nothing that pisses me off more than enjoying myself somewhere and then someone throws up in front of me because they had to have one more drink. If I want to hand around someone throwing up I'll go to a kids' party.

@wesley.p.burnham@kathiemuncy1 Wesley - I don't think that you got my meaning - it seems that no matter what we do at a show he is either blocking someone or i can't see - the world does not revolve around us - it's just that someone is going to lose out no matter what we do - either a shorter person will be blocked if we move to where I can see or I won't be able to see if we stand in back - it is a no win situation no matter what we do so we make the best of it.