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revisiting cell phone issue

Prev dad told bm that he was getting child a cell phone so he could communicate with her.
Child is home alone a lot amd this way it would be easier to check up on her and call her when hes downstairs to pick her up. (Child Lives on 3rd fl)

bm talks to child via tablet through skype and msgn app, but told child she is not allowed to talk to dad through those and does not let child speak to dad via phone either.
There is nothing in court order regarding communication on bms time and he really doesnt want to go to court and spend $200.

hes thnkn of getting a phone for her now that childs in counseling, since bm would really have to explain to child why she cant talk to dad.

Its an old phone so dad wont be spending money.

Otherwise, should dad just let bm be the one to control when he can communicate with his own child?

No, but unfortunately BM won't see it that way. In our case SS has a cell phone, BM calls him on it. SS is no longer allowed to take cell phone to BM's house because BM would take it from SS and use it herself. She would call me from it then hang up, call DH from it and hang up, give it to SS's 4 yo brother to play with.. So basically SS never had his phone when he was there. We keep it for him to have here when he goes with his friends and needs to keep in contact with us, let us know when he gets somewhere or leaves etc. it's unfortunate because the kids miss out.

We all know putting it in the CO doesn't mean that Mom will follow it. Sure Dad can file contempt, but that really means nothing.

OP - why do you think a counselor will make a difference with the phone?

True, but that is a more viable option than looking for ways to make mom look like a bad guy to her kid. That is all this chick wants to do from the sounds of it in her posts. Counseling to try to get cusotdy, kid is just scared of mom (even though mom has custody, talks to mom all day during mom's work time, etc)... they put the kid in the middle when it comes to being mature adults and switching time... (not mom, the dad and SM)... Claims mom is uncommunicative, but when she does talk dad doesn't think it is important and doesn't talk to her. Mom allows dad to see kid after an event... not good enough. Mom should have walked away and left the kid with dad for longer, no matter what was going on. Mom is just always wrong.

No matter what mom does, she is wrong to this poster. And she wants to find a way to stick it to mom...best way? Her own kid.

Its in my DH's C.O that both parents are allowed to call, email. write etc. to the kids when they are with the other parent. That didn't stop Dh's X from allowing him to communicate with their kids. If he called BM's cell, she said she would give the msg. but never did, kids never saw any texts DH sent for the kids. BM would erase the Caller ID before the kids got home from school so they didn't know he called.

DH had this conversation with his kids when they turned 14 or so. They asked how come he didn't call or ask to spend more time with them? HE was shocked. He saved every text and pulled up all his old cell phone bills to show that he had been trying to reach them. In the end it didn't matter.

What???? A 13 year old without a phone. I would buy her a lovely phone with all the accessories and give it to her directly and let her mother take from her if she wants. My SS is 13, DH had that same problem phone issue with BM, he bought SS a phone when he was about 11 or 12 and he stopped talking to BM whenever she took away the phone, DH has had pretty free phone access with SS since.

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