Lovely, I wondered whether you’d shake hands or what sort of greeting is acceptable with the Prime Minister.

PRIME MINISTER:

Hello, hi Marty.

MARTY SHERGOLD:

Prime Minister, lovely to meet you.

PRIME MINISTER:

Yeah, good to see you.

MARTY SHERGOLD:

I’ve not met you previously.

PRIME MINISTER:

This is fantastic. I can see you up there on the screen.

MARTY SHERGOLD:

That’s how we work. This is how we roll.

TIM BLACKWELL:

How many security staff do you travel with Prime Minister?

PRIME MINISTER:

Just a few. Just a few, but they’re large.

MARTY SHERGOLD:

Prime Minister, what do you reckon you’ve learned about yourself in the last couple of years, that sort of surprised you or made you think, you know, as you continue to sort of grow in the job, that you’ve realised was a pleasant surprise?

PRIME MINISTER:

What have I learned? Look, I think, you learn lots of things every day. The most important thing to do this job well, is to stay calm, get plenty of sleep, exercise and just approach issues in a careful, objective, considered way.

It’s very easy in politics to get very stressed and panicked and nervy and jumpy. Just being chilled, calm is very important. A little bit of Zen goes a long way.

TIM BLACKWELL:

Siestas in Parliament maybe?

PRIME MINISTER:

Well siestas in Parliament, Question Time could send you to sleep, I think. If I started snoring, Bill would get really upset. But maybe I could sort of doze off and excuse myself on the basis that it was a really boring question.

MARTY SHERGOLD:

Did you and Lucy ever have a crazy plan in your 30s or your 40s where you went: ‘Let’s buy a camper van and go around Australia for 12 months, I’ve had a gutful’?

PRIME MINISTER:

Well the answer is no, but we have often had, we’ve had lots of adventures together. I mean, we are best mates. We are each other’s best friend and I’m always happiest when I’m with her. She came into the office today actually, I could just feel myself lighting up it was just so great. She just walked in -

MARTY SHERGOLD:

How do your staff think of that? You’re always bringing your wife in.

[Laughter]

PRIME MINISTER:

To be honest, she’s not -

MARTY SHERGOLD:

Lucy’s here guys!

[Laughter]

TIM BLACKWELL:

Quick, tidy up your desks!

PRIME MINISTER:

Everyone loves Lucy, but she doesn’t come in very often. She’s got a big job herself and her office is out in Parramatta so she’s in and out of the city for meetings. But it is always good, you know, its just always great to see her.

MARTY SHERGOLD:

Who is your oldest friend? Apart from Lucy, have you got any old uni or old high school friends?

PRIME MINISTER:

My oldest?

MARTY SHERGOLD:

How far back do you go?

PRIME MINISTER:

Well I have a friend who I went to, I met when I went to boarding school in 1963 when I was eight, so that’s a fairly long time ago.

MARTY SHERGOLD:

Oh my lord.

KATE RITCHIE:

Oh.

MARTY SHERGOLD:

Does he occasionally text you and you and kind of go: “This is hilarious?”

[Laughter]

PRIME MINISTER:

Yeah well we catch up from time to time, yeah we do.

MARTY SHERGOLD:

I love that.

PRIME MINISTER:

I’ve got quite a few old friends, yeah

MARTY SHERGOLD:

Were you a school reunion guy?

PRIME MINISTER:

I’ve been to a few and we have the 45th reunion of my old school coming up very soon.

TIM BLACKWELL:

Any other success stories in that class, maybe except for yourself?

MARTY SHERGOLD:

I wouldn’t have thought so mate.

[Laughter]

PRIME MINISTER:

I’m sure there will be, but everyone of course, at school reunions everyone’s walking around looking at the other guys and sort of thinking to themselves: “Gosh, he looks old.”

[Laughter]

KATE RITCHIE:

Yeah, yeah.

MARTY SHERGOLD:

‘Wouldn’t have worn those shoes’.

PRIME MINISTER:

Thank god I don’t look as old as him.

TIM BLACKWELL:

You wouldn’t chopper in though, would you? That’s been banned.

[Laughter]

PRIME MINISTER:

Totally. Totally.

MARTY SHERGOLD:

Tim and I were walking through Adelaide Airport once and it was like, it was one of the strangest, weirdest and it was tinged with the tiny bit of sadness - we saw Julia Gillard just wheeling her own wheelie bag through the airport. She’d probably only been out of the job, what do you recon, six months?

TIM BLACKWELL:

Yeah, not even.

MARTY SHERGOLD:

It’s a pretty spectacular fall from grace when you lose the job that you’ve got. Some people try to make it work. I mean Tony is still in the Parliament.

PRIME MINISTER:

I wheel my own wheelie bag now.

[Laughter]

MARTY SHERGOLD:

I’m sure you do! But there is that sort of departure from public life that can be a real big tilt on the old ego. I know you’re comfortable in your own skin but are you -

TIM BLACKWELL:

Are you ready for the Adelaide Airport walk?

[Laughter]

MARTY SHERGOLD:

Are you ready to wheel your own bag around and having blokes going: “You’re an arse”? You know, all of that stuff?

[Laughter]

PRIME MINISTER:

Yeah, well I’m sure at some point I’ll manage all that. I would imagine Julia would miss a lot of the excitement and responsibility, but also enjoy the peace and time she’s got for herself and her family.

KATE RITCHIE:

It’d be refreshing.

MARTY SHERGOLD:

Now Prime Minister, you are here for Quick Draw and I know you’re going to be calm and confident.

PRIME MINISTER:

Yep! I am.

TIM BLACKWELL:

But we do need to talk about health care very quickly, because that’s what you wanted to do.

PRIME MINISTER:

I do.

TIM BLACKWELL:

You wanted to speak about that.

PRIME MINISTER:

This week on the weekend, we announced that we are rolling out Gardasil 9, so an expanded version of Gardasil which -

MARTY SHERGOLD:

It sound like a cream, I’m not going to lie.

[Laughter]

TIM BLACKWELL:

Kate’s your cream guy.

PRIME MINISTER:

You know what, no, it’s an injection for 12 and 13 year olds, they all get offered it now. Most of them, the vast majority take it and it is a vaccine to protect against HPV, the Human Papillomavirus. Which of course, is the cause of cervical cancer.

TIM BLACKWELL:

Well it’s great to have you in here. We understand you are time-pressured and your security are getting antsy so let’s give you the rules of ‘Quick Draw’ and we’ll give you a practice question to get into the mood.

PRIME MINISTER:

Yep.

TIM BLACKWELL:

I give a category and a letter.

PRIME MINISTER:

Do we have to hit that?

MARTY SHERGOLD:

Nah, you don’t need a buzzer.

KATE RITCHIE:

No you don’t need to hit that. Tim’s just going to go through the rules now.

PRIME MINISTER:

Right okay.

TIM BLACKWELL:

I’ll give you the category and a letter. The first of you to yell out an answer gets a point. The first answer you yell out is locked in. Best of seven wins but there is a practice question. You understand.

PRIME MINISTER:

Alright okay. Yep.

TIM BLACKWELL:

Name a politician starting with ‘B’.

KATE RITCHIE:

Bill Shorten! Oh!

TIM BLACKWELL:

See how good she is?

MARTY SHERGOLD:

That’s where you’ve got to be sitting. You know what I’m saying?

[Laughter]

PRIME MINISTER:

Yep, right.

TIM BLACKWELL:

Alright, he’s got his game-face on. The Prime Minister is with us, we’ll be playing Quick Draw when we come back for real.

[Interlude]

Alright the Prime Minister was hanging out with us during that song, that’s your favourite song, you were telling us during that song. You love it. You love the music here at Nova.

[Laughter]

What is your favorite song on Nova?

PRIME MINISTER:

Well my favorite song is ‘If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too’.

MARTY SHERGOLD:

Oh yeah, Mental As Anything.

TIM BLACKWELL:

Is that right?

PRIME MINISTER:

Yep. My favourite song, it’s very romantic.

MARTY SHERGOLD:

What about favorite pizza topping as well?

TIM BLACKWELL:

Oh no, don’t. Don’t embarrass the show.

KATE RITCHIE:

Marty.

TIM BLACKWELL:

Alright here we go, we’ve had a practice. Kate was pretty good with the practice question but we’re into a best of seven, Marty is scoring.

PRIME MINISTER:

Yep.

KATE RITCHIE:

Good luck.

TIM BLACKWELL:

This is it. Question number one, name something you would see at a laundromat starting with ‘C’.

Yeah alright, you were just in there Kate. Prime Minister, just quickly, my friend Lawrence Mooney does an impersonation of you. Are you aware of it? Have you seen it around the traps?

PRIME MINISTER:

I have heard of it. I’m going to start doing an impersonation of Lawrence Mooney.

[Laughter]

MARTY SHERGOLD:

Living in the street?

[Laughter]

Just mucking around, having a bit of fun.

PRIME MINISTER:

That’s right.

TIM BLACKWELL:

Question number three, score please Marty?

MARTY SHERGOLD:

One each.

TIM BLACKWELL:

Yeah, there you go! Question three, name something you would see in Parliament House starting with ‘P’.

KATE RITCHIE:

Politicians!

TIM BLACKWELL:

Now you’re starting to yell and be yourself. Apologies for Kate’s behavior here.

MARTY SHERGOLD:

Two – one.

TIM BLACKWELL:

Question four, name something purple starting with ‘L’.

KATE RITCHIE:

Ladies… handbag.

TIM BLACKWELL:

Oh, I don’t know.

MARTY SHERGOLD:

I don’t know about that.

KATE RITCHIE:

I have a purple handbag, I have a purple YSL. The girls in the office have seen it!

PRIME MINISTER:

I’ll just say, I’d say lilac.

TIM BLACKWELL:

Yep.

MARTY SHERGOLD:

Yeah, lovely.

KATE RITCHIE:

That’s my favorite in the garden.

MARTY SHERGOLD:

You can’t say ‘ladies handbag’.

KATE RITCHIE:

Yes, you can.

MARTY SHERGOLD:

I mean, I’d give it to you if you were playing -

TIM BLACKWELL:

No, the girls are saying ‘no’ as well. But they also have two secret service people standing behind them so-

KATE RITCHIE:

Yeah and they also said no to ‘S’ for salt -

MARTY SHERGOLD:

Okay two each.

TIM BLACKWELL:

Question five - name a Sydney suburb starting with ‘C’.

PRIME MINISTER:

Croydon.

KATE RITCHIE:

Campbelltown.

TIM BLACKWELL:

Croydon!

MARTY SHERGOLD:

Croydon, this is fantastic.

TIM BLACKWELL:

What are we doing here Marty?

MARTY SHERGOLD:

This is great. It’s at this point I have to tell you Kate Ritchie, if the Prime Minister gets the next answer correct he’s won. It’s all over! You could take it to a tiebreak though!

KATE RITCHIE:

I know how it works.

MARTY SHERGOLD:

Okay. Do you?

KATE RITCHIE:

I do know how it works.

TIM BLACKWELL:

Question six, name something you would see on a uni campus starting with ‘B’.

KATE RITCHIE:

Books.

PRIME MINISTER:

Boys.

MARTY SHERGOLD:

Oh, both good answers.

TIM BLACKWELL:

Boys is great, but we’re going to a tiebreak.

TIM BLACKWELL:

A tiebreak with the Prime Minister.

KATE RITCHIE:

He’s so calm!

TIM BLACKWELL:

I know, you’re too calm.

KATE RITCHIE:

I mean, I know you’re right there and I shouldn’t speak to you that way, but you are putting into practice all of that stuff you said before.

MARTY SHERGOLD:

Well I mean in terms of world events, I would’ve thought Quick Draw’s pretty low down the list of things to rile you.

TIM BLACKWELL:

Maybe not today. How’s your day been today? Has it been - ?

PRIME MINISTER:

It’s been good. It’s been great.

MARTY SHERGOLD:

Anything you’d like to say about Trump, while we’ve got you here? Any comments you’d like to pass about the craziness of the leader-

[Laughter]

PRIME MINISTER:

That could’ve been a five letter word beginning with ‘T’.

[Laughter]

MARTY SHERGOLD:

What about Twitter though, are you a Twitter guy?

PRIME MINISTER:

Not so much.

MARTY SHERGOLD:

No. It does seem ludicrous doesn’t it and he does seem really sensitive. Like I realise he’s a celebrity and his background is sort of ‘ego’, but he seems so easily hurt and so quick to defend. No comment?

[Laughter]

PRIME MINISTER:

I’ll be very diplomatic.

MARTY SHERGOLD:

Of course! It’s a good time to be, or we’re all at war again.

TIM BLACKWELL:

Also we’re at a tie-breaker. It’s a very tense moment.

KATE RITCHIE:

Yes. Pick you moments.

MARTY SHERGOLD:

We are.

TIM BLACKWELL:

Question seven, tiebreaker. Name a month of the year starting with ‘A’.

KATE RITCHIE:

August!

PRIME MINISTER:

April.

KATE RITCHIE:

Yes!

[Laughter]

MARTY SHERGOLD:

Oh, Kate Ritchie! Has no shame.

TIM BLACKWELL:

You can’t not be yourself for one day.

MARTY SHERGOLD:

She really couldn’t let the Prime Minister win.

[Laughter]

PRIME MINISTER:

No, no, well done!

TIM BLACKWELL:

Well done, good sportsmanship. Thanks so much for coming in, a pleasure having you in here.