Fear not America, Dennis Rodman is here to save the day! Rodman was the first U.S. citizen to meet Kim Jung Un a few days ago, and views himself as a friend to the Korean dictator. Lets analyze some of Rodman’s quotes from an interview he did with ABC news that details his experience in the hostile nation.

“He wants Obama to do one thing..call him”

You heard it from Rodman first! Kim Jung Un wants a phone call from Obama, and I guess Dennis Rodman is the only person Jung Un can trust to make this happen! Then again, reports are saying they drank heavily, maybe Jung Un said it to Rodman while pounding down shots of Soju. Everyone has a moment in their lives where they wake up the next morning and go “oh shit, what did I say last night.” Well, there was Un’s moment.

“He loves basketball, so does Obama. Lets start there”

Because talking about basketball is going to convince Kim Jung Un to stop his test launches of ballistic missiles.

“I love him, guy is awesome. So honest”

Maybe Rodman can convince Jung Un to marry him instead of having to resort to marrying himself. Hopefully, Rodman still has his wedding dress ready to go!

“I don’t condone it. I hate what he is doing, but the fact is, he is a human being”

Rodman has no idea what he doesn’t condone. He probably can’t remember even remember who Michael Jordan is, or what he did the night before.

“No one in the CIA can tell us more than Dennis Rodman,..and that’s scary” – Stephen Gaynyard, Former Deputy Assistant Secretary of State

I agree, it is scary that Rodman is the “ambassador” of the United States. No other great NBA player could visit North Korea? Not Jordan, or Magic Johnson or Bill Russell? Oh wait, no one is as stupid as Dennis Rodman. Rodman says he is going to go back, and maybe next time, he will stay there with his new best friend!