About motherhood - the good, the bad, the best.
Here are a few things I know - we are all doing the best we can, none of us know exactly what we are doing and we are not in this alone.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Every Week...

I walked into church today as I do every Sunday. Today was just an ordinary Sunday. But up on the screen, it said it was Pentecost today. Suddenly I had images in my head of Biblical times and everyone being filled with the Holy Spirit. Can you even imagine what that was like? My heart was suddenly opened and filled with the Holy Spirit. I was suddenly crying. Here is my blog confession. I cry almost every week at church. To me, worship is powerful. The power of the cross. The power of the music. The power of prayer. The power of community and worshiping together. Baptisms get me every time. To me, the sanctuary is my sanctuary. The cross and flames in the bricks is almost magical, for lack of a better word.
I spent today's service, in between sniffles and tears thinking about what the church and my faith has meant to me and my life. It's only four walls and a roof, right? But to me, my church is so much more. My church gave me my family. Every important moment in my adult life has been in front of those bricks and that cross. I thought about all the prayers I have prayed sitting in those pews. I prayed for a love, to be happy by myself, to be married, to be a mother. Every prayer, spoken and unspoken, has been answered, in God's way, in God's time. I met Charlie through the church. So literally, if it wasn't for that church, I would not have my family. Charlie chose that church because it was two blocks from his apartment. I chose that church because it felt like home. It felt like family.
The church is in a time of transition as we say good-bye to our pastors and prepare to welcome new ones. I will miss one of the pastor's geniuneness. His sincerity. His daughter was born at the same time as Laci and I enjoyed that bond of parenthood and watching our children grow together. The other one I have to thank for my family. If he was not at the church when Charlie or I began attending, we may not have chosen that church. We may not have met. He married us and baptized our children. He will always have a special place in my heart.
For one hour every week, I do not have any worries or any problems. Today, I was filled with gratitude, humility and joy. The phrase "To God be the glory" has been stuck in my head for a few weeks now. I love how certain verses appear right when we need them. This week our pastor's mid-week message included the following verse: Romans 11:36 "For from him and through him and for him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen."

3 comments:

I am right there with you in crying at church nearly every week! So powerful! After reading this, I now know that I cry after reading blogs, too!! Your words are so kind!! I have loved sharing the experiences of parenthood, too! So glad Mike shared this blog as I didn't know you did one! Thanks! Love you guys!!!

I thought I was the only one in tears most Sundays, often leaving with a red nose and red eyes. I too am moved by the music, our pastors, and those giving their testimonies. I too feel the Holy Spirit and am very comforted and free from the worries of everyday life. It has been a joy to watch you and Charlie grow together as a family, we were blessed to attend you wedding.