Monday, April 23, 2012

I mentioned the other day in this post that Madeline has really taken to the Baby Einstein videos. While packing I found some fake glasses I used for halloween a couple years ago and thought Madeline might look cute in them. I was right.

love that last one. We're off to Arches National Park for the next few days and then its home to Washington for most of the summer! hip hip hooray! Pray that we'll have a good baby during all this driving....

Saturday, April 21, 2012

If I showed you a picture of our apartment right now you would see one sad sight. Boxes are stacked under and around the kitchen table. Packing tape has made its residence in more than one place. Stacks of junk line the walls. Trash is lined up by the door ready to be taken out. The walls are bare making the cinder blocks seem more cinder-blocky and less homey. Furniture is lying in disassembled piles on the floor. Miscellaneous items are strewn here and there and three very tired and confused people are ready to be done.

We're moving this week.

Boy if I thought moving was hard the last time around I was wrong. Because moving across the country and moving across town are two different things. And moving with out a baby and moving with a baby are also two very different things.

I've found that its nearly impossible to get anything done with a baby on my hip. Little hands seem to want to help with everything. She really does mean well and for the most part she's happy. But it still seems that time goes by faster than I can get anything done.

And so I pulled out the big guns. I gave in to Baby Einstein. I really don't want Madeline to grow up watching a lot of tv. We've tried hard to make sure it doesn't happy too often. But this was my last resort. So I propped the babe (as her daddy calls her) up against some pillows in our bed and set my laptop in front of her and much to my relief surprise she sat there fascinated for a whole half hour.

HAL-LE-LU-JAH.

Now the trick is to not prop her up in front of the lap top all day every day... but every once in a while is ok, right?

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Last night came across a blog that is authored by a woman who is a very talented photographer and mother of four boys. At first I was simply in awe at her beautiful talent. I'd love to take pictures like her one day. But as I continued to explore her website and read more about her, I came to understand that her youngest son had passed away at a very young age after contracting Pertussis, more commonly known as whopping cough. As I read her personal account of their loss and the way their family has worked through this crucible tears streamed down my face. I can't imagine what it's like to lose a child.

When I was in my early teens my aunt gave birth to a little boy who didn't live longer than a couple of hours. He had developed a condition before he was born that caused his brain to develop outside of his skull. They knew he wouldn't live long; and yet she still carried him through the duration of pregnancy, gave birth to him and said goodbye. I remember quite vividly the night he passed away. I remember my mom explaining to me all that had happened. As I laid in bed that night my sobs were uncontrollable. I prayed to God pleading for Him to comfort my aunt and uncle as they began a journey that would change their lives forever. Being a mother myself now it's even harder for me to put myself in their shoes. I can't imagine not being able to hold Madeline in my arms. To have my body ache for hers but not be able to see her, hold her, watch her grow and learn.

While I hope I never have to experience something like this, I'm grateful for The Gospel of Jesus Christ. I am so eternally grateful for the Plan of Salvation. I know that both of these mothers will see their children again. Sometimes its hard not to live in the fear that one day I might lose my favorite little girl. And while I have no intention of taking any time with her for granted, I'm trying not to focus on what might happen and just enjoy living life to it's fullest with my two favorite people.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

It seems like growing up from time to time I'd hear my mom mention to a friend that motherhood is all worth it. That it's gratifying and wonderful and worth all the work. I thought I knew what that meant. And then I had a baby. I can't even explain what a wonderful privilege it is to be a mom. I love my little girl with all my heart. Even though there are lots of sacrifices that have to be made (clean kitchen, personal hygiene, sleep, body image, money, space, time) she is so worth it! Sometimes I go into her room at night and I just watch her. I watch her little chest move up and down and I listen to her even breathing and occasional sigh. Other times I'll see a picture of her. A picture I took and that I've seen many times and my heart starts beating faster and faster overwhelmed by the unconditional love I feel for her and then it just stops. And I take in that moment. That moment of peace and quiet where I can ponder how lucky I am. How lucky I am that my Heavenly Father saw fit to bless me with my beautiful Madeline. I ponder birth and life. Time and eternity. I marvel that I can love one little person so much; then I marvel at how much my Heavenly Father must love me.

And for a little comic relief (especially if you're having one of those days)

here's a video that just might make you pee your pants.

Also, I'm not ready to be a mother of two. I'm quite enjoying

just one little baby that can't crawl or walk or get into much trouble quite yet.

Hard to imagine my days filled with errands and lunches and school, etc.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

We went down to Orangeville, Utah for Easter weekend. It was so great to spend some time with two of my favorite people, Jeremy's grandparents. If the world was full of people like them there'd be no problems in our world. They live a simple life. Grandma makes their bread; they eat from their garden all summer long; service is something they do daily whether it's helping out members of their ward or spending the afternoon indexing; selfish isn't in their vocabulary; they live the gospel and cling to it's truths; and they are happy. How grateful I am to have them as examples in my life.

I hope we have a picture like this of Jeremy and I someday. Not too soon, but someday.

Madeline enjoyed meeting these ''great''-grandparents for the first time.

{she was in grandma's arms the whole two days}

Love the matching expressions ha

Sitting on Grandpa's lap

"Look at this awesome gold thing!"

such a happy baby :)

We sure loved visiting Grandma and Grandpa! They had so many inspiring stories to share with us about their lives. I need to spend more time with old folks and learn from them. They really have a lot of great stuff to share!

Hope everyone had a great Easter weekend and really got to reflect on the life, teachings, suffering and resurrection of Christ. How blessed we are to have Him as our Savior and Redeemer. He lives.

Friday, April 6, 2012

Last night we took a family outing to a place we've been saying we'd go since we moved to Utah two years ago. It was so refreshing to get out of our teeny tiny apartment, be together, and talk about life past school and work and money (which is life right now...). But last night as we strolled through the miles and miles of IKEA, we talked about our future. Our kitchen, our bedroom, the kids rooms, the living room and family room. The hubby's office, my craft room. Our mudroom/laundry room. We dreamed. And I loved every minute of it. We don't go on family outings enough.

Madeline: OH MY GOODNESS I'M SO EXCITED! MOM NEVER LETS ME SIT AT THE TABLE!!!!! AND I HAVE MY OWN CHAIR AND MY OWN DISHES! AHHHH!

She knows she's cute

Madeline and Mommy

oooooh.... look at that light! And this little recliner that's just my size is so cool, too!

Do you ever look at a picture of your baby, and your heart starts beating a little faster because this beautiful little person that you created is so cute, and so perfect, and so yours that you just don't even know what to do with all those feelings? Well, I love our baby. That's all.

M: I sit in egg chairs and put my feet together because I'm that flexible.

M: Also, I'm really cute.

(this was a kids chair and the white part at the top totally folded all the way down so you were completely hidden in the chair. I don't know how I felt about it...)

Best $1 low-fat soft serve yogurt cone I've had in a while. Thank you IKEA.

And surprisingly we made it out before closing. Half an hour before closing. Jeremy announced that we're going to have to build a house someday because we both want such specific things. I didn't argue.

Monday, April 2, 2012

Conference weekend always leaves me feeling refreshed and rejuvenated and ready to conquer the world. It was a little different this year. Trying to watch a baby makes it a little difficult to take detailed notes and soak up every word like I have in years past. But it was still a great weekend. And now I'm left with a greater resolve than ever before to read, study and re-watch the talks again. I feel like there's so much more I could get out of all of them. I think one of my favorite quotes came from the very first talk, by President Packer. He said, "Family time is sacred time, and needs to be protected and respected." I love that. We could definitely be a lot better at that. Sometimes I just want to throw our tv and computers out the window and go for a walk. But I'm too attached.... and I don't think screens are bad things, they just need to be used in moderation. I've gotten in a bad habit of tv watching this winter. It's hard when you're home all day and sitting on the couch feeding the baby what seems like half the day. I love that the weather is getting nicer. I've gone outside a lot the past few weeks. And now I'm just rambling... okay

Saturday morning I took some pictures of a couple friends of mine. It was for my assignment and it changed directions many (many) times... it ended up turning into more of a portrait session. But hey. It worked. It helps when you have a simply gorgeous subject :)

Madeline finally rolled over! Between sessions on Saturday. We realized she probably would have a while ago if her toy hadn't always been in the way. And it's not like it's that late. She's not even four and a half months yet. Our poor baby has been sick though. She has a nasty cold. Runny nose, weepy eye, kind of not too interested in eating and coughing quite a bit. Her nose is so stuffy it's hard to hold her binky in but she can't sleep with out her binky. Last night we had just laid her down and were happy to finally have some much needed husband and wife time when Madeline coughed resulting in her dinner spiraling to the floor. (Thank goodness for industrial carpets that get cleaned for free three times a year!) Nothing takes the spark out of a special moment like a throwing up baby. ha. It's so hard to watch her be sick. Even though she feels horrible, she still manages to send a smile our way. She's an angel. I don't know how we got so lucky.

Her personality is blossoming every day. She's becoming a busy little girl. Always interested in something. She also loves standing up next to the ottoman we have. She'd much rather be standing than laying on the floor or being held. There's a little bit of independence in her, but oh she's so sweet. I wish I could be sick for her. But alas, I won't be able to do everything for her for her whole life. Might as well start with letting her experience her first real cold. As if I have a choice.

I think the last thing on my mental list of things to jot down was how confusing it is trying to loose weight. My mom and I have been doing kind of a ''weight watchers'' of our own. Really simple. Just trying to eat healthy based on choosemyplate.gov. It's a really neat website that I highly recommend. We made up a points system where we get points for reading our scriptures, staying within our caloric limit, eating vegetables, exercising, etc. I did pretty well the first week. My mom still got about 100 points more than me, but I did pretty well. This week was a total doosey. I didn't record hardly anything and I went back to my sweet tooth days and caved to pretty much everything. But guess what. I lost one pound on the week I did really well and four pounds the week I ate horribly. Go figure. It doesn't leave me with a lot of incentive to trying being healthy and exercising again now does it.

Well I think that's about it. Happy Monday. You can expect a post about our April Fool's tomorrow... hopefully.... kluvyoubye

Welcome to the Scratch Pad

My name is Sarah and my husband's name is Jeremy. We've got two cute kiddos, Madeline and Luke. This is our simple tribute to life because we sure do love it. Hope you decide to stick around because we'd love to have you!