I'm The Second-Choice Candidate -- Should I Still Take The Job?

It is very disappointing to feel like a shoo-in for a job you want and then learn that somebody else got the part.

However, you will only cause yourself unnecessary pain by telling yourself "They liked someone else better than they liked me, so they can go fly a kite!"

They spent three to five hours with you.

Their brains were not empty while they were talking with you. They were not fully present, because their busy brains were working on a million other things.

They spent a few hours with other candidates, too. For some murky, unimportant reason they felt that another candidate was a slightly closer match to their needs than you are.

That's nothing to take personally! They told you you're smart and capable. It's a business relationship. Don't get upset because you think they rejected you or failed to see your talents.

There's no reason not to wait a few days and see what happens with Candidate One. Mull it over. If it still feels like the right job for you -- the way it did just a few days ago -- take the job.

If you take the job, you mustn't feel that you 'settled.' Take the job if you feel good about it, and if you don't, keep your job search going.

It's great that you don't feel desperate -- that's the ideal state for a job-seeker -- but don't turn your back on a good opportunity just because they offered the job to someone else first.

Six months into the role I can imagine them saying "Boy oh boy, did we get lucky when Candidate One passed on our offer! Ariana is incredible. What a great decision we made to hire her!"

Look at the "hard" and "soft" sides of the offer, if an offer comes. Look at the reporting relationship, the scope of the role, the major objectives, the major hurdles to surmount and the size and shape of the goals.

Look at the people and their motivations for working there. Look at the personalities of the senior team and their dynamics with one another. Let your gut work on the question "Should I stay or should I go?" while you're waiting to hear about Candidate One's decision.

Keep your job search going full-steam in the meantime!

Let's be honest -- tons of people step into new jobs as second-choice candidates and they don't know it.

Usually employers will leave all the finalist candidates in the dark until somebody accepts the job and the "no thank you" messages go out.

These folks told you exactly what was happening with their recruiting process. That's unusually frank of them. To me it's a good sign of their integrity.

The other employees on the team are unlikely to know which candidate got the job offer first or second. Even if a few of them know the details, so what? It's not important. They will forget within a few days. They will be thrilled to welcome you.

Wouldn't you rather hear "You're insanely talented and want to hire you if another candidate declines our offer" than "Sorry to inform you that we hired someone else."?