Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Thoughts on Receiving on the Tongue, and Veiling from an Almost Catholic.

As the date of my baptism into the Catholic church nears I have really been pondering and praying about a few things, things almost singular to Catholicism, so I would like to say right now that if you aren't Catholic, or don't have a good understanding of Catholicism that you may not want to read any further, it may seem strange and confusing to you. I feel like I need to share these thoughts anyway, as when I was searching for similar things from fellow RCIA members online I couldn't find anything. I could find converts that made these choices, but no one talking about them before they converted, or that they had decided to before hand, so I thought sharing my thoughts on these matters now, and again after I am fully active in them may be helpful to someone like me. I have prayed about whether or not to even publicly talk about these things for a few reasons: 1.) Pride- I know that it may come off prideful, and that is not at all my intent 2.) It's personal- these matters are dear to me and incredibly personal, and 3.) Ridicule- Yes, I fear ridicule. Even mature Catholics have been known to ridicule their more traditional brothers and sisters for these things. Ultimately though, through prayer I have determined that posting this may be the best course, even if to show one other convert that they aren't alone.

I have already posted twice (1 & 2 ) about my love and longing for the Eucharist and I haven't even partaken yet! But here comes time number three! I have decided to receive Holy Communion on the tongue. I'm sure that if you've read my other two posts you aren't a bit surprised. This was something that I determined a few months ago, and was quite stressed about because the parish in which I'll be joining is a bit on the liberal side, and I had never seen anyone there receive on the tongue, in fact, I don't even know how well it'll go over when I inform the priest and Sister (RCIA leader) of this decision. They'll certainly think I'm crazy...I guess we'll see tonight (practice for Saturday) This was almost a no brainer to me. Once I realized the fullness of Christ's presence I was like; "What makes me worthy to hold the body of Christ?" Nothing. Nothing makes me worthy to receive it, either, other than of course, His grace, love and mercy. His selfless, sacrificial love for me, that's what makes me worthy of receiving it, His desire to share it with me. By His love alone.

I had struggled with this not wanting to touch the Body for a bit, noticing that everyone that went up (I stay in my seat, I do not go up for a blessing) received in their hand. This had me concerned, surely not every single one of those people are entirely reverent with their hands before, during, and after receiving the Eucharist. I mean, one should make sure their hands are cleaned directly before Mass (touching Christ with dirty hands?!?!) then be entirely careful to not drop Him on the floor, and then make sure that any remaining crumbs on your hands are consumed (no wiping fragments of Christ on your skirt) honestly, that's a lot of responsibility. That's a lot of anxiety to have during Mass. That's a lot of worry focused elsewhere that should be focused on Christ during that time.

My best friend (and sponsor) had been deciding if she would receive on the tongue during this time, but honestly, trying to figure this all out for myself I tuned her out on some of this, I didn't want her reasons to be mine, she was also careful about what she said regarding this and other matters as well. During this time we attended a Latin Mass, and I saw everyone kneeling and receiving on the tongue, and I was like; "YES" it was beautiful. You could see the love and devotion to Christ in their demeanor, and the way they looked afterward, it was like nothing I had ever experienced before. It felt right, I wasn't concerned about their reverence, I knew that if I received in a similar matter that I wouldn't be bogged down with worries of if my hands were clean enough, if my hand slipped, if I was careful enough with my hands afterward. I would only be concerned with Christ, with that Gift, and encounter with Him...and if my mouth was opened enough.

I knew then that I would be receiving on the tongue. Honestly, I would like to kneel as well, but I know that is pushing it a little too far for the parish I am in. I will make a point to travel the two hours to attend Latin Mass, at least once a month, I think, or I'll try. Anyway, a few other thoughts on this: the dependency on the priest to administer the Eucharist to you is so beautiful, such a symbol of our dependency on Christ. it also reminds us of the priest's closeness and serving of God, I think we tend to under-appreciate them at times, and this, to me, is another symbol of who they are, and why they do what they do. Just beautiful.

Next, is my decision to begin veiling. This is actually something I have been praying about longer than I've been praying about becoming Catholic! Covering my head during worship made sense to me, even in my Protestant church (no one did) but the reverse of the humility men show by UNcovering their heads was just beautiful to me. Humbling yourself before God makes sense to me. To me, it was just another outward sign of my love and devotion to Christ, my desire to serve Him, and fully submit to Him, just like the cross I wear around my neck, and the skirts I wear. A reminder to me, of who I am, and more importantly, who I serve.

So, in my private devotions I have been covering anyway. I kind of put doing it during church on the back burner because this whole, should I be Catholic decision popped up and took center stage. Now, as Easter draws near, and most of the other concerns are finally starting to climb into their boxes, this one has re-emerged. Lately I have been re-evaluating whether or not to cover my head in church, and know that while slightly more acceptable in the Catholic church (depending on your parish, no one at the one I am joining does) it's still not really that well received by many.

What has finally brought about my YES to veil during Mass (beginning after my baptism- though, I still am not sure if I should begin on Holy Saturday, after my baptism, wait until Easter, or next weekend...if anyone has thoughts on this, please share! I am really not sure when would be most appropriate!) is reflecting on what is veiled in the Church. Chalice, tabernacle, and crucifixes, and statues, toward the end of Lent. What do all of those things have in common? They are all sacred, precious reminders of our faith. They are all worthy of beginning veiled. They are all worthy of being hidden, so that when they are revealed we will once again be reminded of their beauty, importance, and significance. What is the one other thing that was once commonly veiled during Mass?

Women. So, beyond humbleness, beyond modesty, beyond 1 Corinthians is the Church saying; "YOU are worthy of being veiled." Whoa. How could one argue with that? Well, this one could not.

So, there you have it. That's why, and hopefully knowing that someone is making these choices will help someone else coming into the Church that was lost like me when all they wanted was a virtual hug to know they aren't the only one that has made these choices prior to entering the Church. The Catholic church is getting one more crazy traditionalist. I am so excited for this weekend! I am also nervous, as I know that these things may not be acceptable to those around me, but I have come to the conclusion that the only approval I need is God's. Remember, the world will hate us, because it first hated Him.

12 comments:

Welcome home! I remember my excitement and anticipation during the Holy Week leading up to my confirmation & reception into the Church--what a wonderful time, only to be eclipsed by the Easter Vigil itself :) I didn't start wearing a hat, then veiling until after I moved from my first parish out of state, although I had thought about it for a long time before that--kudos to you for actually thinking about it before you are received! I'm not sure when I started receiving on the tongue, definitely earlier than the veiling, but I do remember almost getting knocked over at the Easter Vigil bc I was kneeling bf/after communion in the first row--chairs, not pews, no kneelers for anyone. Even at the beautiful, Latin-Gloria, chant-filled parish I attend now, there are only another one or two ladies who veil/wear hats, so I feel your "what will people think?". I figured out they probably don't think much--a whole lot less than how much I think about it myself, certainly. Now I just pull up my veil when we get into church and forget about it...even when we're traveling and hit some pretty hippy-dippy parishes. The only comments I have ever gotten were from some elderly gentlemen about how they miss hats and veils. That and the one time--pre-veil--I forgot my hat and had to substitute a floral silk scarf, I'm pretty sure some people thought I was foreign, considering they kept asking where I was visiting from and seemed unsure of my English :-P

Thank you, funny about them being unsure of where you were from! The parish I am joining doesn't have a single person that veils, or covers in anyway, even the Sister in which I am taking RCIA from. So, I'm also a little afraid of being the new kid on the block, and people thinking I'm trying to come off better than them or something, because I'm not, I'm just trying to serve God! I really want to veil each time I receive, especially the first time, sadly I don't think that's going to be a good idea. Anyway, thank you! I am pleasantly surprised at the amount of converts that choose to cover!

Hi Amanda! Great post. Welcome home! Although I'd like to say something about receiving the Eucharist on the mouth.

It's great! I come from a different country where everyone received communion in the mouth so I'm used to it. In fact, I'm still unused/unsettled about people receiving it in the hand for the same reasons you listed. But that's just me.

During one point in my prayers I asked whether I should receive it kneeling or not. I had a similar doubt, like yours, about what would people think of me. I know that thinking of "am I pushing it?" am I being too over the top? But, I made my choice. I was trembling the first time I received it kneeling, thinking everyone would stare at me. But, people carried on like usual. It's a lot of times in our head.

I can say this. Since I received communion in kneeling, I've never gone back! I travel around a lot and go to different parishes and no matter where I go, I receive it kneeling. I stopped caring what the parishoners thought. I just care more about reverence to Jesus in the Eucharist and he's in all Masses! So, if you feel comfortable, receive it kneeling. Don't worry, it isn't pushing it. We should all be reverent towards the Eucharist and this is how you are demonstrating it.

Sometimes, that kind of reverence is missing in our liturgies. It's time to bring it back!

I like to remember that Christ is a King and you don't greet kings by shaking their hands, you kneel to them! So, when Christ, our King, comes to us in the Eucharist, how will you receive Him?

Thanks for your honesty. I too am in the process of coming into full communion with the Catholic church and can only describe the last 9 months as spiritually traumatic. But I know good is ahead. May the Lord bless you with His presence. I will be praying for you this Triduum.

Best wishes for you, Amanda. I'm a cradle Catholic and have been disturbed for decades by the practice of receiving the Eucharist standing, in my hand, from the hand of another layman. Now I'm blessed to have found a parish that offers both ordinary and extraordinary (Latin) forms of the Mass on a daily basis, and communion at all Masses is received kneeling at the altar rail. I have been uplifted during travels around the US to have by chance stumbled upon other parishes where kneeling for communion and/or receiving on the tongue is standard practice. You are coming into the Church at a time when the reverence that the Real Presence deserves is slowly being reestablished at the parish level. Welcome !

Thank you! That would be wonderful, for it to be normal to kneel and receive, and not have to worry about anyone getting all angry, or thinking you're drawing attention to yourself purposefully. My mom's parish (the one I attended the Latin Mass at) has more people that receive on the tongue, and even a few that veil! I like to go their often =)

Hello! I stumbled upon your blog, and as I read on my jaw just kept droping! So much of what you posted reminds me of things I have posted on my own blog. I, too, am a convert and came into the Church at Easter. I also veil (http://nisicommuni.tumblr.com/post/39531995342) and have decided to receive on the tongue. I also love the Latin Mass (http://nisicommuni.tumblr.com/post/39424169810) You're a beautiful person, I just want you to know that!

It's nice to know their are other ladies who cover in church. I go to a Baptist church and unfortunately it doesn't believe women need to cover. We visit our friends at a Conservative Mennonite church and all the ladies wear a veiling. It's so nice to see other ladies covering and so I don't feel so alone.

I'm so glad I could bring you comfort! I originally thought about it when I was still attending a non-denominational church, honestly, a fairly liberal one, in retrospect. Stay strong, even if you're the only one doing it! Remember Who it's for!