F*@#% Superman

I’m as big of a fan of superheroes as the next geek, I enjoy flipping through the pages of Marvel and DC comics, and have for the most part enjoyed the slew of comic book movies that have bombarded theaters in the past couple of years. But there is one superhero I absolutely cannot stand, Superman.

I have gone on this rant before while discussing comics with some of my friends and co-workers. He is a shitty superhero because he is essentially flawless: he is completely resistant to any kind of pain (except from Kryptonite of course), he can fly, has x-ray and heat vision and has super human strength. He is essentially that jackass kid from grade school that picked the power to have every power when you played superheroes on the playground.

If you don’t believe me, or agree with what I have said, sit down and watch Superman Returns. In the film (SPOILER ALERT) Superman saves the day by lifting an island made of crystalized kryptonite out of the water and into space. Now answer me this, How is this possible?!? If his one and only weakness is kryptonite how in the hell can he possibly lift an island made of kryptonite, let alone transport it all the way to space. The only argument I’ve heard is that it’s crystalized kryptonite and therefore not 100% pure. What a bullshit excuse for shitty writing.

The reason I decided to vent my Superman frustrations today is because I read the article Why Superman Will Always Suck, by Anthony Burch. Read it, it’s quite interesting and raises many of the same points that I have.