I apologize for having sent the letter that I sent to you yesterday, regarding the position of warehouse assistant. I wrote the letter for a humour website, which collects similar (though perhaps less ill conceived) letters to employers in response to real job postings. I do the site in good nature, publishing them to cheer up people who send cover letter after cover letter every day, and I have always actually sent the letters. In the past I sent them for real for a combination of reasons, partly because I assumed that the people who receive these letters at companies were happy to have a little bit of entertainment bundled in with all their other job letters, but also because it felt as though it made the joke funnier.

Obviously it does not. And good intentions do not excuse having sent that letter to you without any sort of context within which to interperet it, especially as the particular letter was not as lighthearted as the others. I simply did not think.

I apologize for having upset you.

When the two uniformed police officers showed up at my door, I knew immediately what it was about. Or, anyway, I suspected. I suppose that means there was a nagging doubt in the back of my mind as to whether I should have sent that letter. I feel badly about having wasted their time with this, and I feel badly about having wasted your time as well. You had no choice but to respond to a letter that you believed was genuine.

My actions were unconscionable, and I feel like a dick.

Please accept my apology, and the assurance that I will send no more letters like this to companies. I will continue to write the letters for my website, because I believe a lot of people enjoy them, and they help to relieve the stress of job hunting, but from this day forward, you have my word that I will no longer mail these letters. The recipients more than likely have enough to deal with without having to put up with this.

I am publishing this apology on my site as an explanation of why the letters will no longer be sent, any response from you would be private.