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Thursday, August 16, 2012

Weary...

This has been a very hard week on the adoption front. I’m
growing weary. At a time when the end is in sight and I can see the finish
line, I just can’t seem to find the strength to get over these last few
hurdles.

We got a court date for August 31st. We leave in
10 days. We should be jumping up and down, we should be so excited, but we can’t,
because once again, there might be one simple piece of paper that’s missing
that could bring it all come crashing down. I feel like for every single
document, for every step of this process, the burden has been on Rob and I to
fight for our Sweet Girl. Nothing has come easy. Nothing has been simple. After
months on end of EVERY DAY having to fight for something, we are drained.

I can’t wait for the judge to ask if I will treat this child
as my own, if I will love this child. I want to tell him that beyond a shadow
of a doubt she is already my child. I already love her as my daughter. I want
to look him in the eyes and tell him that every day of this journey I have
fought for her and I will not rest until she’s sleeping in her bed, in her house,
with her mommy and daddy saying prayers with her and telling her stories.

As I was listening to the radio in the car on the way to
work this morning, I was thinking of how of course I won’t give up, of course
we’ll keep going. I suddenly realized that this is what God does for us every
day.

He fights for the souls of his children.

Through war, poverty, hunger, and more, He battles for us.

Yet, He’s never grown weary and He’s never thought of giving
up.

So when today, we grow more weary still by the battles yet
to fight to bring her home, I will remember, that I don’t have to be strong, my
Father is already strong for me.