10/29/2009

Refinding ~ Portfolio Project

Driving down my road this afternooon, I felt a sense of dread about posting today. Yesterday's post seemed so boring.

When I noticed the dread feeling, I questioned myself. What is my goal as I take on this project to write here every day?

Motherhood is a big part of my life,but my intention for taking on this project is not to write a journal of what I do each day. But what is it then?

As I listened to the re finding podcast by Jen a few moments ago, I had a thought. Maybe this is about re finding my artistic playful side ( with my photography). This will come through in all areas of my life I am sure, but what I want to focus on in this project is to carve a place where I can be creative-completely utterly creative with my photography, for me. To knead and mold the part inside of me that is my core.

My photography now is expressed only as part of a relationship. Either a relationship with my loved ones, or a relationship I share with my clients, and their loved ones.

I don't have much time to play artistically with my photography during a 2 hour session, where my goal is to tell the story of them, using the tools/skills/techniques I know how to use well.

But what I see happening is that there is a need for me to grow and reach and claw and struggle. If I direct this into my art, I believe wonderful things can come. As I write this it comes together. This energy/drive leaks out all over my life. If this life force/creative energy is directed, I believe that I will feel more at peace. That my itch to "do something" will be satisfied..

So with a feeling similar to fear in my chest, I am saying out loud that this portfolio project is about me channeling this creative force.