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Wednesday, June 30, 2010

I’ve blogged before about my wee little kitchen. We are almost through with our total home repainting and reflooring project. We couldn’t change the size of the kitchen, but we could change the look! Here’s a bit of a kitchen before picture. I know I have more kitchen pics somewhere in my hundreds of files of photos, but it’s almost midnight, and I’m too lazy tired to look for them.

Here’s the kitchen now. New wood floors, beachy gray walls (Miller Paint 0538), and the cabinets painted all white. I want to add knobs on the drawers and cabinets. I am also considering the butcher block countertops from IKEA. I’m a wee bit nervous having butcher block around the sink area. If you have butcher block counters I would love to hear what you think of them.

My son in law asks for me to pull the chalk line, then let it go. It plinks against the wall and leaves a blue chalk mark…a plumb line. This is the line that will keep everything straight, everything in alignment, as he puts the beadboard up in our bedroom.

The peace of God ruling my mind and heart is my inner plumb line. I know I’ve gotten out of proper spiritual alignment if my mind and heart are in turmoil and confusion-if I’m full of strife. When my mind and heart aren’t at rest, even in spite of what may be stressful outer circumstances, I know I’ve gotten off track.

I’m a get it done type gal. I live life with a planner and a to-do list. I can approach my relationship with God in the same way. Read my Bible-check. Pray through my list-check. It’s as shallow as, “kiss hubby and tell him I love him-check”. Rest is found in right relationship. Right relationship takes time and undivided attention. If I’m not at rest inside, I know I’m out of alignment relationally…somewhere I’ve strayed from the plumb line.

Next week hubby and I will go somewhere hot and sunny. We will rest. We will not fill our days with sightseeing and activity, but with rest, reading, relaxing. Hubby and I will reconnect as husband and wife, not as dad and mom, papa and nana, pastor and pastor’s wife. I will bring clean, fresh journal pages, my Bible, and well chosen inspirational reading that I’ve neglected. I will soak up Son and sun. God and I will reconnect as Bridegroom and Bride, Lover and Beloved, Father and Favorite Child. It’s time to get realigned.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

I was taking a quick peek at my Google Reader list and look what I saw on Remodelaholic!
The thanks all goes to my handy man son in law who found the Craig’s List bargain, and made the whole project happen.
Wow! I really can’t believe it!Elizabeth

Sunday, June 27, 2010

We moved to the southern Oregon coast to become the youth pastors in a church there the September after I turned 24, hubby, me, and our two oldest daughters. Our youngest daughter wasn’t even a twinkle in her daddy’s eye yet.

Kathy attended the church there. She was what we called a prayer warrior, full of fiery passion for Christ, active in works of justice. She was outspoken, opinionated, hard working, strong. She was what the Bible calls “iron sharpening iron” in my life…she made me want to burn hotter for Christ, to be bolder in standing up for righteousness.

Five years later, we moved again. Over the years we stayed in touch with her off and on. She invited our family to go with her and her girls to a mission-based summer camp in Vernon B.C. At those camps our lives were changed, divine connections with people were made that altered the course of our life and ministry. I never thanked her. I never told her how much she meant to me, influenced me, helped shape who we became.

In the past dozen or so years we lost touch. Then I saw her daughters on facebook, and asked for her phone number. Calling her was something I meant to do, but I got busy, distracted. I never made the call.

Last week, her daughters posted on facebook that she had had a brain aneurism and was being life flighted to a hospital in my city. She was going to have brain surgery. This was a busy weekend, full of church activities and my siblings and I were also busy finishing the work on Mama’s house so it can go on the market this week. I wanted to go to the hospital to see her. I wanted to say, “I love you. Thanks for being an important part of my life.” I got caught up in the press of things needing done. I thought once she came out of surgery, regained consciousness, was more alert, then I’d go. But Saturday night, Kathy, went to be with Jesus. Now it’s too late to say thank you.

I didn’t sleep Saturday night. I cried tears of regret. I thought of a list of others who mean so much to me, but I’ve let the busyness of life keep me from telling them so. I don’t want to live a life of regrets. I don’t want it ever again to be too late to say thank you.

My continuing gratitude list #471-#480

-the official first day of summer

-waking up to birdsong

-waking up to sunshine

-baby granddaughter playing outside

-Mama’s new walker, and how tickled she is with it

-oldest granddaughter reading to me

-grandson having a sleepover at our house

-my siblings help with getting Mama moved, and getting her house all ready to sell

Friday, June 25, 2010

The Portland metro region has a population of over two million.
Yet, here in Portland city limits, here in my neighborhood, this…

A red barn.A “farmhouse” and garden. The red barn is on this property.
The wonderful old shed that I’ve blogged about before.
The house whose garden overtook their driveway. Notice the old car mural on the garage door.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

My dream house is a cottage by the sea. When a smoke damage mishap meant we had to do a mini home renovation, I took the opportunity to give the house more of a cottage feel. That was my inspiration. Yesterday I showed you a peek at my living room. Today, here’s a peek at the progress we are making on our bedroom. There are still details to finish, curtains to hang, etc. but so far…I’m lovin’ it!

We chose a soft beachy gray Miller paint for the walls throughout the main living area of the house as well as our bedroom.

In the bedroom we put beadboard 4 feet up the wall and added simple trim on top.

The bedding is by Ralph Lauren. I found it for a great price at Home Goods.

I painted, then sanded to “distress”, the frame of a mirror I already had.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

I am terrible at painting. There, I admit it. Terrible with a capital T. I can’t even paint my toenails without having to clean polish off my toes with a Q-tip and polish remover. So, when we recently did our mini home makeover, (wood flooring downstairs, new carpet upstairs, new paint everywhere, new lighting everywhere), I didn’t lift a paint brush, but left that to the pros.

However, since we were trying to stay in budget, I did try to reuse our old brass curtain rods by spray painting them. I bought some Rustoleum spray paint in a color called “hammered metal”, and when a sunny day finally came to Portland, spread them on some plastic in the back yard and went to town.

I told you I’m a terrible painter right? When they were dry, big flakes of paint from off of the plastic stuck to the rods. But, with a rag, I was able to wipe them off reasonably well. Once they were up, and the curtains were hung, (Woolrich sailcloth curtains from Target. I LOVE them!), my terrible painting wasn’t too noticeable. So here’s a peek at my living room makeover and brass curtain rod transformation.

If I get brave, I may try spray painting those lamps next in a brushed nickel paint.

I love my new Ikea pendant light, which replaced the brass fixture that used to be in the dining room.

The infamous curtain rods.

This wicker trunk replaced my more formal coffee table, at least for the summer.

It was a Ross clearance item. I got it for $26, and doctored it’s scratches with shoe polish.

The dialysis was no longer working. My husband, his sister, and his brother discussed the options with the doctors. It came down to the fact that it was futile to continue the dialysis, but it was still a very difficult decision…this decision to let their father go. The doctors told them that his death would not be painful. The toxins in the blood, which was no longer being cleansed by the kidneys or the dialysis machine, would within the week shut down the other organs. My husband’s mama had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's only months before. She knew her husband was in the hospital again, but didn’t really grasp the seriousness of the situation. Still, her children thought it only right to have him moved back into the adult care home with her so they could be together for his last days.

With him in the twin bed next to hers, the family gathered. Oldest son, daughter, son in law, hour after hour by his bedside. They played the old timey gospel quartet music that he loved and sang along. They watched his favorite John Wayne movies, him drifting in and out of consciousness. My husband would sit and read the Bible to him. His wife, their mama, just seemed irritated at the whole thing, not understanding. She would scold her husband for not waking up, pick at him, slap at him.

As the end got nearer, I drove up with my girls so they could tell Grandpa goodbye. We got there shortly after noon on Friday. He was conscious enough to know his grandbabies, now full grown, were in the room. (That man loved to have his grandbabies near him, even at the end.) Things with Grandma, however, were deteriorating. She was getting more angry and hostile whenever she was in the room with him. She just wasn’t understanding what was going on, and getting more and more aggressive. Her kids were now having to keep her out of the room. This was not the peaceful passing they were wanting, for him, or for her.

As the afternoon wore on, he was no longer waking up at all. His breathing was getting shallower. The nurse said it wouldn’t be too much longer. The kids were now rotating…someone in with their dad, someone out in the living room, occupying their mama. Later that evening, she looked up at her son in law, and as clear as can be said, “He’s dying isn’t he?” My brother in law told her the truth. Told her that it was time to tell him goodbye and tell him how much she loved him. Told her she could go back into the bedroom and be with him if she wanted.

When she walked into the room, she was herself. No, in truth, she was better than that, she was herself wrapped up in love and grace. She took his hand, bent over him, and for the next twenty minutes, told him how much she loved him. She told him what a great husband, dad, and grandpa he was. She told him it was okay to go to heaven now. She reassured him that the kids would take good care of her. She kissed him, her tears dripping off her cheeks onto his. Then she sang. “Jesus loves you, this I know, more and more like Him you’ve grown, now He’s come to take you home.” The tune was the old familiar Sunday School song, but the words were ones God must have given her, just in that moment.

Those were their last moments together. She left the bedroom, and went back into her world of foggy confusion. She wasn’t with him, when in the wee hours of Saturday morning Jesus did come and take him home. However, their goodbye, after over 45 years of marriage, was forever and ever, etched in the minds of their children, their grandchildren, as miraculous.

Still following,

Elizabeth

During the month of June, I am joining others on Wednesdays and blogging about marriage…

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

I wake up with a to-do list on my mind…balance check book, pay bills, make phone calls, clean bathroom, go check on Mama…I want to keep the light, clean feeling from Sunday, and not take on the overwhelmed feeling of this past crazy, busy month again. I remember the words God spoke to me years ago. “Build your life.” He spoke, not to my physical ears, but in my heart. I knew what He meant. I was frustrated about some things in my life and was pointing fingers at others as the reason things were not going the way I thought they should for me. When He said, “Build your life”, I knew He meant that I was to focus on changing me and on changing the areas of my life I did have control over, instead of being a victim and letting life just happen to me.

So, today I build my life. I set aside the to-do list until later. I pick up the Word, and read it slowly, thoughtfully, meditatively. I hear Him as I read. He says, “…continue to rely on My grace”. (Acts 13:43) He says, “…my hand of blessing is on your head.” (Psalm 139:5) The words melt my heart. All this past crazy, busy month I had read, eyes skimming words, but the heart hadn’t melted…

not like today.

Next, I walk. Again, this simple thing I know I must do for my well-being, neglected for the most part these few weeks. Julie Meyer and Kari Jobe worship on the Ipod. As I walk, I worship too. I notice the beauty.

When I get home, I choose the most important on the to-do list. I check on Mama. I go to her new home at assisted living. We visit. She has me sit in her new power chair…lay it all the way back, then have it lift me all the way up to standing position. We laugh.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Grace overtook me today. Snuck right up on me and tackled me to the ground, then powerwashed me good. Powerwashed me with His great love. All this happened right there in my pastor’s wife seat on the front row of church. No one around me suspected a thing. They didn’t know that during this last month of crazy, chaotic house remodeling, and Mama moving stress, I was NOT at my Jesus lovin’ best. But, thank God, Jesus was still at His Elizabeth lovin’ best. Today He just about drowned me in it…His love washed over me like I was standing under Niagara Falls. I’m so, so, so grateful.

He is jealous for me, Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree, Bending beneath his wind and mercy. When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory, And I realise just how beautiful You are, And how great Your affections are for me.

We are His portion and He is our prize, Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes, If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking. So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss, And the heart turns violently inside of my chest, I don’t have time to maintain this regrets, When I think about, the way…

He loves us, Oh how He loves us, Oh how He loves us, Oh how He loves. Yeah, He loves us, Oh how He loves us, Oh how He loves us, Oh how He loves.

How He Loves by John Mark McMillan

My continuing gratitude list #461-470

-a friend’s help getting my office put back together

-Mama’s move to assisted living went great and she loves her new home!

(She also celebrated her 85th birthday this week!)

-giggles with my sister

-my daughter’s help with Mama’s garage sale

-a great nights sleep

-birthday shopping with oldest granddaughter

-Mama calling me everyday and telling me how much she loves her new place