Only you know whether you're trying or not. The rest of us have no right to judge!

They say that it takes 21 days to make a habit. So theoretically if you follow a plan for three weeks religiously you will then find it automatic to stick to the plan. ...Of course that assumes that you can stick to the plan for three weeks in the first place!

If you're finding it hard to keep on track maybe you're trying too much too soon. Or maybe the changes you're making aren't the right ones for you. If you find you're skipping breakfast, could you perhaps have a meal replacement shake instead? If you're lured by those tiny teddies could you avoid buying them? Or when you buy a box could you divide them up into smaller individual portions and allow yourself one per day? Some people find it best to avoid temptation by going cold turkey for a while (I'm one of those people). Others find it best for them if they allow themselves small, planned treats so they don't go off the rails and binge on their personal 'forbidden' foods. If you're not sure which category you fit into it might be worth trying one tactic for a while and if that doesn't work then try the other.

Another tip is to just take it one meal or snack at a time. It can feel daunting to think that you have to be 'good' forever. So rather than focus on what you'll be eating tomorrow, just decide what you'll be eating at your next meal. Decide on the healthiest choice you have available and then put it out of your mind until it's time to eat.

I think for the first 21 days, i'll try to control my snacking, but not cut it out completely because i feel as if i will just binge horribly. I'm going to put the snacks in my partners computer room so i cannot see them, but put small amounts of it in the cupboard, and only eat them if i have been otherwise good, as a "reward".

And as for my exercise, I will do my best to start that up again. I was really excited to start it, but the excitement died when i realised how hard work it is lol.

But i need to get it into my head that this is such a positive thing, and remember all the reasons why i should loose this weight.

1.Self-confidance boost2.Being able to wear sexy clothes3.Compliments4.My health5.Being healthy enough to have a baby6.To feel beautiful again7. To prove to myself that i CAN do this, and CAN achieve such an accomplishment8. To make life easier in general

Yet another tip I'm afraid: I wouldn't recommend using your treats as a kind of 'reward'. This could perpetuate the feeling that 'fatty/sugary food = good' and 'no fatty/sugary food = bad'. Most people here recommend not using food as a type of reward, even when you've achieved a certain amount of weight loss. Associating success and celebration with eating unhealthy things can create an emotional connection with those fatty and sugary foods you're trying to cut down on. Then it's only a small step for your subconscious to use those foods to recreate those happy feelings, which can lead to emotional eating when you're feeling down.

Rather than use it as a reward for being 'good' how about just let yourself have one portion per day? That way you know that the treats will always be there and you can relax about them a bit. They'll no longer have the lure of being forbidden. If you decide not to have a treat because you've gone over your calorie limit don't look on it as missing out on a reward, or punishment for being bad. It's just a matter of choice. You chose to eat something else other than your treat, so now you choose not to have your prepared treat. That way the power lies with you and it's simply a rational decision you've made, it's not a matter of punishing yourself for being bad.

Of course this advice should be weighed up against what you know will work for you. If you're keen to try using treats as rewards then by all means give it a go and see how you go. In the end it's up to you how you approach your weight loss journey! And there really are no right or wrong decisions, just ones that work or don't work for you. Try different ideas out to find out which ones suit you.

Ooh, just had another idea. Why not use your favourite fruit as a reward? That way you create positive associations with healthy food. And fruit is incredibly cheap at this time of the year. You don't have to be rewarding anything in particular. Just tell yourself "I have been so good and healthy. I really deserve this delicious fruit!" Hopefully you will end up yearning for fruit as your treat of choice after a while!

Just an idea anyway. I'm definitely going to give it a go over the next week!

I AM DEFINATELY taking your advice!!!! See, my thoughts need to be altered. I will not use it as a reward, I will just have a very small prepared portion for now. I might even make that snack flavoured rice cakes, i really am into them at the moment - less fatty & sugary! Yep, that's what I'll do. I'm also loving sweet nectarines, so perhaps i can choose which one I would prefer, or even have both?

Thankyou so much for your inspiration & motivation, you are going to be such a big help! Well, you already are!!! You are awsome and I CANNOT thank you enough!

No worries at all! I'm just recycling tips I've been given by other kind people on the forum after all. Just passing the wisdom around!

I absolutely LOVE flavoured rice thins as well. They're great as a snack. Nectarines are brilliant too. I personally think a combination of the two would be fine as your snacks during the day. At least I hope so since they're what I largely snack on myself!

I too suffered low self esteem and as a result did not care what i was putting my body through. I ended up seeing a councellor as I really wanted to change and I did. Once I gained some confidance in myself I started losing weight. Im not saying you need to see someone, just saying you need to learn to like yourself- I know it can be hard but remember, you dont have to be a size 8 model to be a beautiful person. I looked at your photo and my eyes are still intact lol, your not that bad at all, yeah there is a bit of weight there to lose but overall you look like you have a good figure, your skin looks clear and looks like if you take this journey slow it should spring back- thankfully you have age on your side.As for the books, I highely recommend "The Gabriel Method", I believe this is also what helped me change my habbits and lose some weight. Have not read it for a while so might pick it back up (already read it 4 times). Its not about crash diets, it teaches you how to eat right and think right so that your body wants to lose weight and does it naturally without you having to worry about food- it makes it easy to do the right thing.

Will be keeping an eye on your progress with interest. Good luck and keep us updated

Sounds like you're doing really well and good on you for being proud of yourself, great job! Its a hard road, I know! I also love those flavoured rice thingies *yum* (but I have to watch my salt intake ) I think you're going really well, take care and best wishes! Alexandra