5 Truths Boys Need to Become Men of Honor

By JT Waresak

If you’re like me, on a regular basis you’re assessing the
character and make-up of your children. I have three sons
that are 11, 20 and 25 (also blessed with two
daughters–8 and 23). While my role has changed for the
older ones, by God’s grace, I still can be used by God to
help influence their lives. As a parent, there’s no greater calling than this: To help my sons grow into men of honor.

Our Boys Need To "Man Up"

I read an article this past year that stated men are not
attaining adulthood until their early 40s. My
twenty-something daughter says it well, “Dad, guys my age
need to man up!” She has reason to be concerned. We are
raising a generation of men that are living in a state of
perpetual boyhood that is more consumed with virtual games
than the lives around them. If they can father a child and
fight for our country, they better be men and not merely
boys. We need to show them what real manhood is all about,
and we must pursue it with great focus, intensity and
passion. Theodore Roosevelt said it well:

In short, in life, as in a football game, the
principle to follow is: Hit the line hard: don't
foul and don't shirk, but hit the line hard.

We need to prepare our sons to “hit the line hard" for God
and their families. If our young men are soft,
non-committal, and self-centered–our future families have
little hope. Men of honor don't happen by chance–they are forged with great intention, sacrifice, and a life mission that is driven by God and not their own. Here are five lessons I continually come back
to as I try to encourage and shape the hearts and minds of
my sons.

1. One’s name is worth more than any amount of money or
fame.

“A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be
esteemed is better than silver or gold.” (Proverbs
22:1)

One of the greatest lies our culture has communicated
to our boys and young men is the idea that wealth and
fame are what life is all about. Whether it’s the way we
uplift our sport’s heroes or other pop culture icons of
our day, we’ve focused way too much on what a man does
or how he looks versus who a man is. Let’s face it.
Integrity and honor mean little in a world infatuated
with wealth and prestige. When it comes right down to
it, it is one’s character that holds the greatest value
in this life. When God chose David, a young shepherd
boy, to be the next King of His people, He looked at
David’s heart, i.e. his character to determine his
worthiness. Our sons desperately need for us to do the
same and live in a manner that affirms this truth.

2. Defeat is a training ground for success.

Every boy and man at some time in their lives will
experience the pain and frustration of failure. What
makes the man is the way he responds to it. My dad told
me and showed me at a young age, “When the going gets
tough, the tough get going.” As fathers, we must
prepare our children for those tough times when failure
or trials come and always encourage them through it.
What our sons don’t need from us is our disappointment
in them or our self-pity. Most of the time we won't
take away the pain or even shield them from the trial.
The thing that matters most is that we're there for
them. They need us to help them learn from their
experiences, inspire them to climb the next mountain
and cheer for them every step of the way.

3. Humility precedes honor.

The book of Proverb notes, “Before his downfall a man's
heart is proud, but humility comes before honor” (Proverbs
18:12). If our sons miss this, they will never know what
true manhood looks like. At the heart of our Christian
faith, is the precept that we must humble ourselves before
God and acknowledge our neediness before Him. In that same
light, we’re called to lead with a servant’s heart. Christ
is our greatest example as He led by a willingness to give
His life for those He loved. As a husband and a father, my
boys need to know this and see this in my own life.
4. Self-discipline or the lack of it will define one’s
life.

Within my own life and the men that I have known, this is
one trait that must be thoroughly embraced if success in
anything will ever be achieved. Without self-discipline, we
will raise a generation of men that lack control,
self-restraint and the ability to persevere through life’s
many trials. Being mentally tough and/or self-disciplined
is not something one's born with–it is a quality that is
chosen. At the heart of this matter, is the ability to say
“no” to temptation even though your flesh is saying “yes.”
Equally, it’s the capacity to say “yes” to the right way
when everyone else is doing it the wrong way, i.e. taking
the high road when everyone else is taking the low road.
Men, our sons will learn this by the lives we live each day
before them.
5. Do everything for the Lord–for His glory. (Colossians
3:17, 1 Corinthians 10:31)

This is the foundation and highest calling for every
Christian: To glorify God and enjoy Him forever. If there
is anything my sons and daughters learn from my life, I
pray that this is it. As a father, my greatest priority is
that my children know that they were created by God–for
God. If my sons embrace this truth, they will become men of
honor that “hit the line hard” and our future families will
be blessed by it.

I could have chosen five other lessons or traits around
manhood. However, these are five that I think of on a
regular basis and do my best to instill them in my sons. As
shared, as a father my role may change over the years.
However, the goal remains the same–to set an example by the
life I live, and be there when they need me. As America and
the world quickly walk away from the truth that God has
given us in His Word, we must be relentless in our efforts
to build godly character into the hearts and minds of our
sons while we can. As a dad, this is my one of my highest
priorities.

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JT Waresak–a Christian, husband, dad, and digital guy–in that order.JT has been a part of family ministry for the past decade and serves as the Chief Operating Officer for Family Talk. He has an extensive business and ministry background. His writings and video productions have reached millions of people via social media. He is a graduate of Grace Theological Seminary and has authored several books on the topic of fatherhood, marriage, family, and missional living. Contact JT at jt@mineeo.com.

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