I've placed an undisciplined wager this evening. Tilted up by a last minute Sedan penalty in France giving them an undeserved 2-2 draw with Lens, I went on the front foot to regain my investments and more with this bet, which in retrospect, although placed under the influence of frustration, looks quite promising. Standard £5 Yankee;

Penguins V Capitals - Unders (5.5) @ 10/11

Selection number one involves round two of Sidney Crosby v Alex Ovechkin in Washington tonight. Game two of the Penguins v Capitals series. I've gone for unders (5.5) at a 10/11. Both teams rely heavily on their two pheee-noms. They're one men teams.

Crosby is hockey's Alan Shearer when he was in his prime. Very efficient, but very very boring. Ovechkin is a fucking nutcase. I'm trying to think of a footballing equivalent..probably Paul Gascoigne during Italia 90.

Anyway, whenever either of these teams are referred to in the sports media they're always prefaced with the names of their respective super-star player..."Sidney Crosby's Pittsburgh Penguins" or "Alex Ovechkin's Washington Capitals." Quite right too as they are that good. But it's unlikely they'll both shine on the same night.

Between them, Washington and Pittsburgh have only played four games this post-season out of sixteen in which more than 5 goals were scored. The first game in the series was 3-2. If my maths is right we're getting paid nearly even money on a 1/3 shot. Smashing.

**Update: Erm..they both have indeed shone. As we speak Crosby has 3 goals, Ovechkin has 3 goals also. It's finished 4-3 to Washington. When was the last NHL play-off game where two guys got hat-tricks? Never. Fuck My Life.

Chelsea V Barcelona - Barcelona win @ 13/8

Essentially this one is a guess. I think Chelsea are a stronger team than Barcelona. But something deep within me feels like another all Premiership Champions League final will not happen.

This is such a close one to call, but given that Chelsea didn't score an away goal one has to feel Barcelona will go into this game with the most confidence. They took Real Madrid apart a couple of days ago and there's nothing more likely to inspire them to beat Chelsea than beating up on fascists a few days beforehand - where as Chelsea just beat a team nicknamed after a group of closet homosexuals.

Houston at LA Lakers - Handicaps Lakers +8.5 @ 5/6

Another semi-guess really. I know very little about this sport, however having had a quick look back at the regular season it appears the Lakers swept the Rockets in their four meetings winning the two home games by 23 and 12 points respectively.

I know regular season games are tea parties by comparison, but even in the play-offs surely LA in the Staples Centre are 9 points better than Houston? Surely? They won their home games against those Mormon freaks in round 1 by a minimum of 10 points and the Rockets have a losing record on the road. I don't know about you, but that's reason enough for me to take the 5/6.

West Ham v Liverpool - West Ham win @ 5/1

So far my selections have been fairly logical and nothing too tilty. Betting on basketball is a little cheeky, but nothing too rebellious. It's this final one where we're trying the patience of the gambling Gods. I couldn't resist the 5/1. One of my prime football betting directives is that no Premiership is ever a 5/1 shot against any of other Premiership team especially if the under-dog is the home team.

Being offered such a price, it's like when you see a lovely young miss with buttocks clad in Lycra - like two boiled eggs in a handkerchief - but the Lycra has ridden up the crack somewhat and you just feel compelled to pull it out for her. You know? It's too hard to resist.

So anyway yes...West Ham is not a place you really want to go when you desperately need three points. Not at this time of the season and not when you're a team from the North West. West Ham have previous with this sort of situation. Manchester United needed a win there when Blackburn were busy throwing away their title hopes at Anfield, but couldn't manage noffin but a 0-0.

West Ham god bless them also beat Totterington when they were just three points from a Champions League place on the last day of the season. Some lasagna and YossiBenayoun put paid to those plans. I therefore fancy West Ham to win this one. There's an irony in a West Ham win if Benayoun is in the Liverpool side. It's nothing but a gut feeling...but my guts are a 3/1 gamble at best - 5/1 is too good to pass up.