A Sexless Marriage…and He Cheated

His lawyer contacted me on Facebook. A modern day approach to an antiquated law still on the books. Divorce is by jury trial in the state of Georgia. In a sexless marriage, her client had "an affair."

He couldn't resist the temptation to cheat five times in three months. Hardly an affair. She'd asked him how he was. He succumbed. That's all it took for this God-fearing man.

They'd watched my TEDx talk on the No Sex Marriage: Masturbation, Loneliness, Cheating and Shame. She wanted me to be an expert witness in his divorce trial.

He admitted to the indiscretion. Regardless, the division of assets lay in the hands of twelve southern jurors, not one with a high school diploma.

The deposition read like War and Peace, sans peace. 1000 pages, the cheating paled by comparison to the lesbian liaisons, limousine lovers, parental alienation, drinking, hateful women and murder.

Cheating is the ultimate betrayal but so is imposing fidelity in a sexless marriage.

In late winter, I flew to Georgia.

We met for dinner, the lawyer, her client and me. His lawyer wasn't sure if the best strategy was to bring attention to his indiscretion. The jury was impatient. This trial had been going on for weeks.

The assets were divided unfairly……in his estimation. His legal bill was $300,000.

Betrayal all around. He believed she never loved him. He didn't want the marriage to end.

The real sadness is that this couple never had the right help. Sexless marriage is a thing. There is help.

Maureen McGrath hosts the Sunday Night Health Show on CKNW, CHQR, CHED and CJOB. She is a registered nurse , executive director of the Women’s Health Initiative Network, and in clinical practice in North Vancouver. She also does telehealth consults for people and couples all around the world. A TEDx speaker, she is author of Sex & Health: Why One Can’t Come Without the Other. Her radio show is a free download on iTunes. Sextalk