SOCHI, Russia – The agony of defeat is one thing. The agony of not competing for an athlete? Far worse.

This is the Olympic story for Kyle Carr. The short track speedskater, who fell in love with skating at the Frenchtown Skating Rink in Hunterdon County, was left off the final four-man relay team in the 5000-meter event.

The team, including another Frenchtown rink regular Chris Creveling, would go onto win silver after an early crash made it a two-team race with the eventual gold-medal winners from Russia. But Carr, because he did not skate in the semifinals, either, will not bring home a medal.

He declined an interview request. His mother, Lisa Cervantes, was in tears when she spoke to Atlanta-based TV station 11 Alive. Local businesses and neighbors had helped raise the money to send Cervantes and his girlfriend to Sochi so they could watch him compete.

“I just cried, and then when they started, the other two teams fell, I walked out and just sobbed, and thought, ‘I hope that coach feels really good about himself. Really good about himself,’” Cervantes told the TV station. “Because that was how many years of a dream that he just ripped out from Kyle’s feet - after telling him for the last how many days that he was skating the final?”

The decision was a cruel one for Carr, who battled back from injuries and narrowly missed qualifying the 2010 team in Vancouver. His teammates supported him on Saturday.

“Nobody on this whole team, staff included, feels good about that decision,” said J.R. Celski said. “It’s not an easy decision to make. I think all of us are torn up a little inside about it, but the decision was made and we’re here now as medalists.”

But was it an unusual decision?

Jordan Malone, who was chosen ahead of Carr, pointed out that the other two teams on the medal podium used only four skaters for all legs of the relay, leaving their alternates out of the race.

Coaches – in this case Stephen Gough of U.S. Speedskating – have to pick the four skaters they feel most confident will win the race. It can be a cold decision, but it’s their job.

“It’s not that he wasn’t a great skater,” Malone said. “It’s just that he didn’t have an opportunity to prove himself before the Games. He’s been with us the whole journey. He just hasn’t necessarily been there for all the relays.

“When that decision was made, our hearts all dropped. But it wasn’t our decision. It was our coach and staff’s decision, and we support them and Kyle supported them as well.”