Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Murlocs, they come in all colors and sizes, but how much do you really know about these little creatures of the shore. They dwell in tiny huts, huts that most try to avoid, but curiosity got the better of this reporter. Me and my crew were originally scheduled to go and attempt contact with these ancient creatures but my crew was not so enthused. They all but abandoned me once they discovered where I was going. Now, I alone, had the task of capturing a candid interview with one of these creatures. With so many obsticles, I began my journey.

The first obstacle was the ever apparent language barrier. I knew of one person who could possibly attempt to communicate with the murlocs, but it wasn't going to be easy, Thrall was extremely difficult to reach, especially as I am a member of the alliance. For this task we had WoN's own Olaf Tightpants gather the necessary quest items for this interview. I wrote down a list of questions and gave them to Olaf who, in turn, made his way to the Valley of Wisdom to request audience with Thrall. Olaf convinced Thrall to participate, as it was a study of indigenous creatures in an attempt to better understand the dangers around his great city. Thrall agreed on the grounds of scientific advancement and discovery. Olaf then had Thrall read the questions aloud in Nerglish and recorded these questions on tape. As you know, Nerglish is one of the languages spoken by the murlocs next to their native tongue, which has yet to be deciphered. Olaf then returned to me with the prerecorded questions. It was on to step two.My only hopes to infiltrate a nearby Murloc village was to go in disguised and hope for some sort of lesser intelligence as to not be discovered. I made my disguise and went on my way. Now, I didn't want to venture to far into one of their villages, for safety reasons, I met with a murloc who seemed to be on patrol. The tension was palpable. As first this Murloc patrol seemed unsure as to my race, but once I played to tape, lip syncing every syllable, the patrol began to warm up to me. With tape recorder in one hand and my tape player in the other, I was ready to begin the interview.

And now, for the first time, an interview with a murloc.

[Dave]: Greetings, do you mind if I ask you a few questions?

[Murloc]: Do you take me for a fool? I will grant your request only out of pity for your ignorance!

[Dave]: Thank you. Question 1: What is your name?

[Murloc]: My name is of no consequence to you.

[Dave]: Question 2: What is your quest?

[Murloc]: My Quest!?! You need not concern yourself with our divine quest, for it shall be revealed. We and our Naga brethren shall, in time, find our place in the history of the land as we have made it ours in the sea.

[Dave]: Question 3: What is your favorite color?

[Murloc]: . . . We're pretty much done here. . .

It was at this time our subject departed us. And in a rather foul mood I might add. Needless to say, I was very lucky to have walked away unscathed. Now I had to get the audio translated.

When Olaf returned with the results I was very surprised. Most, myself included, have always been convinced that the fiendish murlocs were a rather unintelligent creature, my interview seems to note otherwise. And what of this "Divine Quest" it spoke of? Is there something being organized? Should the citizen of Azeroth worry? I cannot answer these questions. However, what ever it is looming around the corner, I have no doubt the people of Azeroth will face it the same way they have faced all other challenges that befell this land, with tact, honor, and perseverance.

This is Dave Davidson signing out.Only the strong will level!

World of Newscraftworldofnewcraft.blogspot.comMurloc Interview with a murloc Davedavidson WoW Murloc Interview with a murloc Davedavidson WoWMurloc Interview with a murloc Davedavidson WoW Murloc*all images courtesy of Blizzard Entertainment and World of Warcraft

Saturday, May 26, 2007

It has been reported that there have been a slew of what most are dubbing "RAWR Bombings". These violent attacks can only be summarized in one word, tragic.

These RAWR Bombings are a vicious act performed by those of the Druid class. An act in which the Druid will silently glide over the head of it's victim. Then, when the target least expects it, the Druid transforms in a Bear and drops on top of their unsuspecting victim. With a load roaring "RAWR", these Druids rip into their victim without remorse or restraint.

Some special interest groups are calling for laws throughout all of Azeroth, putting restrictions on these acts, some even wish to impose restrictions on the Druids Bear form all together. Groups such as U.P.A.R.B. (United Peoples Against RAWR Bombings) have been cited as saying, "These Druids can't seem to control themselves...constantly blood lusting while in bear form." Members of this group are, as of now, seeking legal council to take the matter to various kingdoms throughout Azeroth.

"As these attacks begin growing in numbers, we are seeing a common trend.", says on goblin scientist, "These Druids tend to become far more violent while in this bear form than any other time." Many independent labs are conducting numerous studies to see if the Druid bear form is in anyway linked to increased aggression or mental instability.There is also a growing number of concerns regarding the possible negative impacts these attacks could cause on a mass scale if they ever become organized. Speculation in the Urban community has lead to increased paranoia among many citizens. "I just don't know if I should let my children play outside, it's just not safe anymore.", confided one concerned parent.

Weather or not it is possible for these attacks could become so organized that they could besiege an entire city is yet to be determined. The scientific community argues as to weather or not Druids, while in bear form, are even capable of such complex thought and organization. At this point, only time will tell.

One ex-guard recounts his brush with death following an attack.

[Dave]: What were you doing on the day of the attack?

[Guard]: I was going about my daily rounds to ensure the safety of my town. I was just attacked out of nowhere.

[Dave]: Do you think you may have done anything to provoke an attack?

[Guard]: I. . .no, nothing.

[Dave]: I know this is hard to talk about, but can you walk us through that tragic day?

[Guard]: Well, before heading out for patrol I had just finished lunch and put on some lotion. I buy the lotion with honey extract, the honey helps to ex foliate. I then headed out for patrol. I remember a slight breeze to the east. This was the direction the attack came from. I looked up and this Bear was just falling out of the sky. I didn't even have time to scream.

[Dave]: Thank you for your time. I know it hasn't been easy.

It's plain to see the devastation these attacks have on individuals, and it's hard to imagine to pain it must cause the loved ones of those unfortunate enough to not make it. We here at World of Newscraft send our best out to those affected by these tragic events and wish all citizens of Azeroth safe passage, as we may never know what provokes these attacks.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Recently we have seen a rash of break dancing related beatings. No one knows for sure the motives behind these sinister acts but we can only assume the worst. The attacks seem to be initiated by persons of the troll persuasion and are centered on the gnomes as recipients. We dug deeper into this underworld of mass serving to get the story first hand.

Being Human, my presence was first met with hostility as I came across a group of young trolls practicing this craft behind a local tavern. With staff and bow drawn, I could do little but plea my indifference. The language barrier was a big hurdle, however, our own Olaf Tightpants was there to translate. I had a chance to sit down with one of the dancers.

[Dave]: So, how long have you been break dancing?

[Dancer]: 'Bout as long as me can remember mon.

[Dave]: When did you first realize you could use this skill as a form of attack?

[Dancer]: Let's get one thing straight. I ain't be using it to attack. These 'lil gnomes be try'n to step, 't ain't me fault if dey can't handle get'ndem asses served.

[Dave]: Interesting.

I tried to get in touch with one of the attack victims, however, he declined an interview. Although, he did leave a statement, "These trolls think they're so cool. Long legs, bad attitudes. Psh! Who needs'em. It's not my fault I was born with these stubby legs."

How long will this feud of rhythm and motion continue? How will it affect the youth of this great world? No one can know for sure.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

That's right youngins. I, the magnificent Wizzer D, have joined a guild. A rather spectacular guild by the name of Shadowfire. Just as I had recovered from the ever so rude surprise attack by that Scarlet vixen, when I was approached by one Omnicorpse. He was following me down the road to Silverpine, no doubt trailing by the effervescent scent of my Bengay. He finally caught my attention and wooed me into joining. Now, normally, I would just brush off any attempts by anyone to talk to me period, especially a young whipper-snapper like Omnicorpse. There was just something about his old timeypersistence in the way he pursued me.

I accepted the invite and was promptly greeted. I was tenative at first but the guild grew on me rather quick. So if you happen to be on Sen'Jin and are looking for a mostly serious guild with friendly, helpful members then look up Shadowfire. You can send a tell to Varinis or Omnicorpse for an invite. And there was something I was supposed to say about the greatest Hunter that ever lived, but for the life of me my old, half decomposed, brain just can't remember. I guess you'll just have to ask when you join.

Welcome my little Fashionistas. This is Olaf Tightpants, your favorite Fashion Guru. I'm going to give a brief run down of the new armor sets then let you watch a video sample brought to you by the ever so vivacious Fanatik. So get your old rusty 4 and 5 armor and hold on to your helms. Here we go!

Paladin: This little light of mine, I'm gunna let it shine all over the bloodied faces of the unholy, then it'll burn through the flesh of the damned like much hotness! You shimmer and shine in your glowing gear and beautiful Halo!

Rouge: You've got your spiky little collar popped and you don't care who knows it. It's just too bad no one will get to see your demonic trend setting before you burst from the shadow, sneak up behind and stab their backs before they can say, "Sweet sexy Slayer gear!"

Druid: What did I say last time? Re-roll. Sure, you may no look like a tree, or an elk this time. But you know what? You look like an eagle made love to a totem pole and gave birth on you!

Hunter: Jeepers Creepers, where'd you get those peepers? Wait, maybe I don't want to know. Be sure to pack some extra eyedrops, cause when you're creep'n in the brush, you're bound to get a leaf or two in one of your 3 extra eyes.

Warlocks: You sure know how to strut your stuff. Not much to say except "Fly fly little birdie, fly fly." And oh yeah, gnomes, you still look super cute, try'n to be all demonic.

Warrior: A porcupine robo-saurus. It's a complete disaster.

Mage: Buzz Buzz. Your new outfits are rather. . . Shocking? Yeah, I had to say it. It's like a walking lightning rod. Wait? Since when are you able to use shock spells? It's that whole thing a Shaman deal? Tsk Tsk, Bad form.

Shaman: We discussed this Nature thing... didn't we? Well, looks like you got it right, minus the hankie. You have these giant, glowing, menacing shoulders that make you look tres tough, and ruin it with a tissue to cover your face. Soo close!

Priest: Look what we got here. . .Looks like Preists are starting to grow a set of testes. How unfortunate that this wicked armor STILL looks better on the female of the species. At least those beloved shadow spells of yours will finally fit the look. Enjoy. . .For now.

This round, Best in show goes to . . . . Dundundundundundundun ( it's a drum roll. )

WARLOCK! SHA-BAZ! Who'd a thunk it.

This has been Olaf Tightpants, your favorite Fashion Guru.

World of Newscraftworldofnewscraft.blogspot.comWoW tier 6 World of Warcraft armor set teir 6 WoW tier 6 Armor video Tier 6 video*all images courtesy of Blizzard Entertainment and World of Warcraft

Once we here at World of Newscraft heard that once again brave fighters would be entering the Black Temple we thought it would responsible journalism to report on this mysterious Temple shrouded in. . . mystery? The History is well known regarding this ominous Temple, but for those of you unfamiliar our historians have put together a quick recap of the events surrounding this Temple.

The Black Temple was once known as the Temple of Karabor, a sacred site to the Draenei which served as the refuge of the Prophet Valen. However, after the formation of the Horde it was order to be conquered by Gul'dan and became the headquarters of the Shadow Council.

After the destruction of Daenor it was taken over by the Burning Legion and renamed the Black Citadel. Now at this time the Black Citadel was located in Hellfire Peninsula

Illidan then waged a bloody campaign through which he conquered much of Outland, including the black Citadel, renaming it the Black Temple. Shortly after his defeat by Arthas he returned to the black Temple And has remained there until this very day. However, if you look for the temple in Hellfire Peninsula, you will not find it. The Black Temple is currently located in Shadowmoon Valley.

Now, we have heard that Illidan has, scince his glory days, lost his mind. These claims are not something we could verify as they are, until now, speculation. We here at WoN have sent numerous representatives to the Black Temple in search of answers.

Why and how was the Temple moved?

Has Illidan really lost his mind?The answers to these questions could only be found in the mind of one tormented soul, Illidan himself. Now, we have yet to receive word from any of the representative we have sent to seek these answers. We can only assume, as of now, that Illidan has declined to comment on any of the past or current events surrounding the Black Temple or his current mental state. As for our representatives, well, we remain optimistic for their return and will continue to send more until we uncover the truth.

This is Dave Davidson signing out.

Only the strong will level!

World of Newscraftworldofnewcraft.blogspot.comBlack Temple Illidan World of Warcraft WoW Black Temple Illidan World of Warcraft WoWBlack Temple Illidan World of Warcraft WoW Black Temple Illidan World of Warcraft WoWBlack Temple Illidan World of Warcraft WoW Black Temple Illidan World of Warcraft WoW*all images courtesy of Blizzard Entertainment and World of Warcraft

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Scarlet Crusade! Confounded arrogance! These dag-blasted freaks think they can just run around with their skin all attached and organs snuggly contained well within the confines of their own body. Hmph! The shear thought that us Forsaken are on the same level as those filthy Scourge, it's unspeakable. These no-good-niks roam around, free from the laws of the land.

For instance, I was merely out hunting when my mana fell to a level below functionality. Of course I stopped and was sipping on my conjured water when she came. This little Scarlet filly ran up on me so fast I didn't even have time to put down my water. She drop kicked me in the back of the neck.

Completely regardless of general manners this little hussy persisted. Now back in my day, we not only had respect for those older than us, but our women new their place at home and always respected then man folk. Leave it to these whiper-snappers to turn the world upside down.

I had no choice, I was taught never to hit a girl. I regained my composure and cast polymorph. This fuzzy las then turned tail and ran. For the life of me, I'll never understand the youth today. I mean, that surprise attack could have stopped my heart, had it been beating in the first place. So now I'm stuck here at the Inn, bedridden and useless, rubbing Bengay on my neck and cursing at the follies of these dag-nabit modern times. I guess there's just no place for an old fart like me in this World of Warcraft. However, that don't mean I can't complain about it.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

This summer is going to be hot, no doubt about that. We can all thank the gnomes scientific advancement for causing global warming. Regardless, you're going to want to stay cool this summer. If you happen to be a mage, your best bet is going to be the Aldor Regalia. Buff those frost spells while you can. It's gunna be a hot one.

Let's face it. You're a warrior. You hit, hard. Any armor is gunna look on you. I prefer the Warbringer Battlegear, for it's sleek design and little talked about, rust proofing. Remember, you are a warrior. A little rust in the old armor and you just won't be swing'n like you used to.

Unless you want to look like Rowen Hashiba of the Ronin Warriors, I'd avoid the Rift Stalker gear, and head straight for the Demon Stalker Set. That's pretty much all there is to it.

For you druids out there. . .Re-roll. You're always gunna look like a tree or an elk.

And for a simply angelic presence, there is no doubt. You priests are going to want to pick up the new Avatar Raiment. If you happen to be a male preist, good luck finding anything that will really accentuate your manliness. Even your extended catalog of shadow spells can't make you seem any manlier. Ladies, Enjoy! :)

You rouges out there, where ever you may be hiding, we don't see you much but you shouldalways look your best. You have two choices. You can look like a cheap knock off of the Guyver, or strike fear into the hearts of your prey with the Deathmantle. We highly recommend the fear thing.

Let's face it Lock's, You were made to be scary. Don't downplay your finest feature by settling on lesser armor. The choice is clear and the verdict is in. Corruptor Raiment. If nobody is scared of you in this, you must be a gnome.

Shaman are usually known for their oneness with nature. It's time to toss the old look out and really kick it up a notch. The Cyclone Regalia Should give you a well deserved refinded look yet still be able to save you toosh in a tight spot. I know how much you love nature, but times are changing and you don't want to end up like the druids, do you?

This has been Olaf Tightpants your favorite Fashion Guru.

World of Newscraftworldofnewcraft.blogspot.comWoW tier 4 5 armor set world of warcraft WoW tier 4 5 armor set world of warcraftWoW tier 4 5 armor set world of warcraft WoW tier 4 5 armor set world of warcraft*all images courtesy of Blizzard Entertainment and World of Warcraft

Here at World of Newscraft, we are well aware of the topic at hand, as it seems to be a right of passage in ones early days in Azeroth. Although an all to common event, we felt as if this topic deserved to be brought to light, as it is often over looked.

Imagine: You've been summoned to serve under whomever you might call master. You report to training as the class of your choice only to be challenged to a duel by an ally. Young and excited to test your might and prove yourself as a great warrior, you neglect to check the strength of your opponent and eagerly accept. The battle begins. The moment you cast your first attack you notice. . . the attack did nothing . . . you freeze, your opponent isn't dressed cool as a fashion statement, no, you've accepted to duel with someone far more leet than you. Once you realize your mistake it's too late. Take a knee.

This reporter decided to get the first hand experience and invited my fellow allies to duel me. My offer was first met by hesitation so I issued the challenge. One, Corporal Mysticdragon, was kind enough to accept. Without hesitation I was greeted with polymorph. As I wandered around contemplating what most sheep do, I couldn't help but feel this feeling of impending doom. Of course, the second the spell wore off, Mysiticdragon was all to quick to dispatch of me. I thanked her for the duel and made my way back to Stormwind. My pride was tucked tightly between my legs.

I learned many things in the span of 5 seconds. My sheepish mind taught me to be a little more cautious when facing danger. My Paladin heart taught me to be a little more humble of my abilities. All in all I learned that no one is to blame for the senseless beating of the casual n00b. If anything, the outcome of the duel can only be the fault of the n00b itself.

So to all n00bs out there, remember to check your opponents stats before stepping into a "friendly" duel with a stranger, and never, EVER, complain when you are pounded into the dust.

World of Newscraft is well on its way. The set is under construction and our top reporters are out on the scene scouring for stories. Expect the first video feed sometime this summer.

Until then, we will try to bring you all the latest news from Azeroth. There's always so much going on. If you are interested in submitting a story for WoN, you can shoot an e-mail over to:

worldofnewscraft@yahoo.com

We will give full credit for the story upon posting. Please include your Screen Name and Server, this way many kudos and propery can be rained upon you like much good tidings.

This is all for now but remember;

Only the strong will level!

-Dave Davidson

WoW News World of Warcraft WoW News World of Warcraft WoW News World of WarcraftWoW News World of Warcraft WoW News World of Warcraft WoW News World of WarcraftWoW News World of Warcraft WoW News World of Warcraft WoW News World of WarcraftWoW News World of Warcraft WoW News World of Warcraft WoW News World of WarcraftWoW News World of Warcraft WoW News World of Warcraft WoW News World of Warcraft