This is a book that I am writing. I figured I would try it out here, and get some more ideas. I would like to eventualy try to get this published, so I need as much help as I can get.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some strange words-
Shybi-pronounced SHEE-BEE- a small ape, more inteligent than humans. They have arms that apper to be longer than they should be. The tallest Shybi stood only 4 feet tall.

"SHHHHHHHHHH!! Do you want to wake the entier village?" said Arther in a loud wisper.
"Sorry Art," replyed Gregory ", I get so excited before a big pay."
"Well just try to contain theeself, eh"
"Will do, Art"
They continued through the silent village. It was a cold night, and the men just wanted to get their gold and go home.

With in an hour, Arther and Gregory arrived at the castle. Arther knocked on the gate. The gate slowly rose, and the men steped inside. They walked down the hall to a large, red door. The door opened and the men steped inside. They walked over to a table, an old man leaned across.
"Is it done?" he asked.
Yes", replyed Arther", The Shybis are gone."

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Last edited by Eragon on Wed Apr 27, 2005 6:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Tue Apr 26, 2005 3:18 pm

Magus

Pokemon Master

Joined: Mon Feb 28, 2005 7:12 pmPosts: 1400Location: Aurora, CO

First off, I think it's too short and second, I think it still needs work, Third, I think this more like a part of a chapter not a prolouge. Other than that it's okay. I give it a 2 That's my official rating.

Tue Apr 26, 2005 5:26 pm

black_flygon

Pokemon Ranger

Joined: Fri Mar 04, 2005 5:20 pmPosts: 590Location: meh...xico

ShadowFlygon wrote:

First off, I think it's too short and second, I think it still needs work, Third, I think this more like a part of a chapter not a prolouge. Other than that it's okay. I give it a 2 That's my official rating.

you should always put 2 out of what...10 or a 100, or 5!

anyway i give it a 2/10....mate it needs mayor work....same reasons as here my partner SF....

well i kinda understand it cause Eragon told me bout it it dodes sound intersesting but Eragon can ya put in chapter 1 already Yeah i would give it a ohh 5/10 I thinks that it is a well but short writen prologe(bad spelling).

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