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I Have An International Blog Challenge Idea

Is there such a thing as an idea man anymore? Or in my case, an idea woman? I like the idea of just sitting down and concocting things and then delegating someone else to put them together and make them happen. Oh, wait, maybe that’s what writing is. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink. I had a video editor say something similar to me not too long ago. She said, “I admire writers, they can think up the wildest things – car bombs, alien invasions, the earth freezing, a talking teddy-bear – then they just write them down and someone else (technical people, mostly) make it happen.”

The thought made me smile. I remember one of the first times it solidified in my mind that I wanted to be a writer. It was while I was watching the film From Dusk Til Dawn. In the movie, Salma Hayek does an incredibly awesome, sexy, snaky, dance. She dances towards George Clooney and Quentin Tarantino. Now, in the real world – let’s be honest here – who would Salma Hayek most likely shack up with out of the two? I’m going to say George Clooney, just going out on a limb, here. But, she doesn’t. She goes for Quentin. Why?

BECAUSE QUENTIN IS THE WRITER.

That’s writer mojo.

So, I was sitting here the other day and I had an International Blog Challenge Idea.

The most of my stats-views come from America. After that, Canada. After that, Britain and some other English speaking places. It got me thinking. I love Canada. I love my snarky, Canadian, blogging friends. So, why don’t we all do something crazy?

Let’s start another feckin’ blog.

No one needs to do actual work, right? No one has actual responsibilities and commitments, right? Everyone’s got time on their hands, right? Okay, so you do have commitments and you don’t have time. But, let’s do it anyway.

Let’s start another feckin’ blog and let’s call it…

CANADICA

Canadica: Incredibly cocky and dripping with maple syrup.

There’s only one requirement – the blog posts should be about both Canada and America. One week written by a Canadian, the next week written by an American. The tone of the blog should be funny without being douchey. Lord knows, that’s a hard balance to reach. And if it is douchey, it should at least be funny. That’s it. That’s all we have to do.

Even the blog header should express this idea. For example, maybe it reads:

CANADICA…

Canadian tag-line: Mostly Canadian, Slightly American

American tag-line: We gave them the bulk of the name because we felt bad.

Canadian response: We deserve the bulk of the name, we gave you Mike Myers.

Etc, etc.

I mean think of the post idea possibilities? The differences between Canadian and American beer. The origins of curling. Canadian vs. American battle cries: for example, “America, feck yeah!” and then of course, “Canada, oh no.”

Now, of course, these are only thoughts from my point of view. It would be interesting / hilarious / mind blowing to read the ideas from “the other side.” The other side being Canada. I mean, I could do a whole two posts on Degrassi High alone. But, something tells me the Canadian pov on that would be even better.

So, I’m presenting the challenge. A blog called Canadica. One post a week alternating between American and Canadian writers. And who’s to say once this thing gets going that we can’t have an Aussie take over of Canadica or a Kiwi takeover of Canadica or a South African one. They sky is the limit.

That’s just the initial challenge. We all do one post each. After that, it opens up to a blogger of the Canadian or American blogger’s choosing. That chosen blogger does one week and then they pass off the next post / next month to other awesome peeps…for example, cristy, stace, transguy, veggie, shane, wendy, weebs, rob, jm, rubes, black door, etc, etc. (Please do not take offense if I did not include you. I’m only writing off the top of my head. The more strong writers, the better. So, if you like the idea, simply let me know, below.)

Eventually, we have hundreds of hilarious contributors to Canadica. A year down the road we have a Canadica Conference somewhere in Canada because it’s pretty and I would like to go there. (Especially after we obtain sponsorship and get to go there for free.) Okay, maybe that doesn’t happen, but wouldn’t it be goddamned fun if it did.

A Canadica conference held some place awesome like Montreal or Vancouver…where absinthe is legal!!!!!!

Undoubtedly, it will be wildly successful and a few years after that, we start our first bilingual site.

We call it:

MEXADAICA. or CANMEXICA. or AMERIMEXADA. or CANADICOICA.

I don’t think I need to tell you how completely awesome that would be.

Who’s in?

Come on, don’t say no! It might be fun…

I expect your answers, arguments, nos and yeses in the comments section, purty please. (Leave it to an American to be demanding, huh? Even though I consider myself to be a citizen of the world. You know, sort of like Noam Chomsky or some other pompous a-wad. And, I believe, Noam is a Canadian favorite…I’m just sayin’.)

As promised, a perfect example of what can happen if you just think and then write something up:

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i would also like to include shannon above, my friend, lauren, ems (the waiting) meeks when we have an aussie day and the same for metan, fabs moms when we have a south african takeover. don’t say no to me!!! it brings up childhood issues!

I love the idea and even though I’m too busy to keep my own blog as updated as I’d like, I’m also in for a Canadian blog post (eventually…lol). Mind you, I think Canada’s response to the American tag line should be: We deserve it because “We’re bigger and we’re on top” :-)
Oh…and unless the conference is sponsored (ha…fat chance…) you gotta make it in Montreal. xo

oooooooooohhhhhhhh, you see what i mean??!! this is good already. ‘WE’RE BIGGER AND WE’RE ON TOP??!!!’ damn you and your reindeer meat. they have that in canada, right? just wait until i re-name the provinces and of course, montreal is my first choice for the fake conference and for moving if we get another republican president… i’m just sayin’. xoxoxoxo

Moose meat…are reindeer even real? You may rename Quebec anything you’d like, as long as it makes the other provinces believe that we are someone else so that they might like us again…if they ever did, that is. :-)

reindeer are real or so say alaskans and sarah feckin’ palin. i’m not kidding. maybe a post idea for you. this is so good already, but as i fear… WHERE ARE THE FECKIN’ CANADIANS??!! we need more in this comments section… not the first time it’s been said, ‘too many americans, not enough canadians…’

bwwwwaaaahhhhhaaa, i left out a few – ACCIDENTALLY – but, you were not one of them. now you will be punished by writing two feckin’ posts. sounds like we have plenty of american gringos accepting, but where in the FECK are the canadians??? gooddddaaammmnnn itttt!

Love it! When California secedes, I hope one day to bring the snark on our new nation’s behalf as an ambassador to Canadica.

We newly minted Californicians will apply for Canadica membership right after approaching the United States of America Minus its Pacific SouthWest Presence for foreign aid in support of our imploding film industry in light of the interwebs.

Californation will be known for our snark, our isolationist mentality and our exports to the United States of veggies. fruits, pistachios, and Berkeley and Stanford graduates. We’ll remain staunch in our disapproval of the exploitation of Cal Tech doctoral candidates by offshore neutral nations. Our definition of outsourcing will be echoed in the phrase, “What works in Vegas, stays in Vegas.” (This motto will be debated for use on our flag, but the idea will be discarded as it does not work without sequins.)

So I look forward to seeing Canadica blossom in all its multicultural glory and spirit of cooperative nations – a new United Nations in blogdom, as it were – and look forward to the time when we lonely and isolated Californicians can be welcomed into your snarkdom.

CANADICA will happen. I saw it on the INternet, and they only allow things that are true on the INternet, don’tcha-no. So yes. Oui. Ja. Si. Hai. I shall be humbled and honored to write a missive, snark-laden or otherwise, for CANADICA. But (see above) since it will be posted on the INternet, it must have an element of truth in it. Or I might be sued for INternet terms ‘n conditions non-compliance.

Just say when.

Can I be an ambassador? Even though I’m not Canadian? I’ve been to Canada… I can spell Canada…

thank god, i was about to call you out in the comments section. and you are NOT chopped liver, i am simply a brain sieve. you are in. and i need more feckin’ canadians!!!! where are they??!! if you know some funny, writerly ones, invite them here…PURTY PLEASE!!!!

I just found this, I was starting to get all blogger sensitive that you didn’t love me. And by God, all the strangers or friends I haven’t met on WordPress better love me. Other Canadians??? They aren’t that funny of a people, except my dad and le clown.

boooooooo. i’m talking one post per year from you. all we need is 25 or so canadians and 25 or so americans and we have that… okay, okay, i’ll let you off the hook, but my panties are officially in a wad. things are not fun in blog world without you. xoxo, sm

Okay, that sound totally awesome and daunting! Canada, the hoosiers, right? Oh, wait, no. That’s Indiana. Hosers! That’s it! They gave us SCTV back in the day. One of my husband’s favorite shows of all time. For the record, he is American. :)

i included rubes and you in a call out! but, i think she’s declining… due to blog overload, BUT here’s what people don’t understand. 52 weeks in a year. one post a week. all we need is 25 canadian bloggers and 25 or so yanks and that’s one post a year. i mean, can we get easier than that??!!!

D’oh! I should’ve recognized rubes! If it flies, count me in. :D Carrie would be awesome if you can twist her arm. But did you see she heard from her editor? She might be doing some pre-pub revisions to her novel soon. But after those are done, maybe she could do it?

Thanks for the shout-out SM, you know what’s weird? You called me “Stace” up above. Could have been a type-o, but that’s what all my besties call me. So that officially makes you a bestie too. Since I’m having a hard time posting on my own site with the ankle-biters out of school and up my crawl 24/7, can I put the post on my blog too? xoxoxo

yeeees, i plan on posting the post on my blog too. i don’t have time for all this shit. but, see above, i’m thinking one post a year… 52 bloggers – 25 canucks, 25 yanks… and i said stace because i shorten everyone’s name, i don’t know why, i’ve always done it. so, i’m really glad you are ok with it. rock it, stace, and you’re in!!

i really want it to happen. and you’re in. and i think it will be easy to do. we need 25 or so solid canucks, 25 or so solid yanks. i think we can do that. right now i feel light on the canuck, it’s not the first time in my life i’ve felt that way, but that’s another story… so if you know any blogging canadians, send ’em this way…. yeehaw! onward mounties! see how i did that…

This sounds aboot the best idea I’ve heard in awhile. Do you see how I wrote aboot instead of about? Do you still want me to write for this after the previous sentences? And is there a Canadian porn version of 50 Shades of Grey?

i think it’s called, ’50 shades of snowman-porn.’ or ‘first nations people against 50 shades of grey snow’ — is that too much? see how i said the classy canadian ‘first nations’ and not the american, ‘indians’ ???? i think we’re getting somewhere and you’re in. and we need more canucks, if you know any. read above for my thoughts on how many posts and by whom. i’d like this to be less work than the iowa tests. did you have those at your school?

This is a great idea. I’m considering myself invited because of the comment on your previous post, even though I was not in this particular post. It does have a certain element of “Did you invite Aunt Millie to the reception? She’ll be upset if she’s not invited,” but I’ll let it slide this time. For you.

And I would love to graciously accept. Thing is, I know zip about Canada. My step-grandfather was Canadian, and he was the biggest douchebag ever. And they have mounties there. Right? Mounties? And Dudley Doright. I think. And it’s colder than Vermont, but not as cold as Alaska. See? Probably not qualified.

you were invited a post ago, which i know is strange, but i’ve also invited people to things by leaving grafitti on a bathroom stall, so don’t feel offended. you’re funny. so, please, please, please do it. and a canadian douchebag you’re related too… i smell a victorious post…

Well, a DEAD Canadian douchebag I’m related to BY MARRIAGE. I don’t actually think that he was a douchebag because he was Canadian, I think it was just natural douchiness. And I’m not certain that writing about him wouldn’t incur some bad mojo, what with him being dead and all.

I’m in!
So, do we just post on our own blog to be collected later and added to a separate Canadica one?
I’m no expert on Canada but I do know they have provided America with enough great things that I can almost forgive them for Nickelback.

brad, please, please, please do a nickelback post…and while you’re at it those guys who sang the goddman, ‘if i had a million dollars’ song…

the way it will work is whole new blog, that a bunch of us get access to. a cool new header that represents CANADICA — and then a free cool template. that’s it. then i’ll put some kind of calendar together and you post on your day…simple… or at least i want it to be….

let me know if you have any ideas/ thoughts. i’m open to any and all of them. xoxo

Sweet Mother,
I’m so in! Ça va me faire plaisir. You did say something funny, though… and we haven’t even started yet… You put “American” and “beer” together….. I read your post around 3PM Eastern time today. It took me that long to stop laughing and being able to comment…
Le Clown

bwwwwaaahhhhhaaa, i was HOPING you’d take the bait on that one. and i looooong for an ‘insulting america’s piss water beer’ post. i am telling you, the joy that would bring me almost makes my nether regions tingle. you are a captain of this ship, sweet clown. i can’t do it without ye because i have this horrible prejudice where i can’t tell a canuck from a yank sometimes and i need you to point me towards more of them. in fact, if there are more blogger maple leaf types who i should invite, please leave their names here and i will do so.

Reblogged this on A Clown On Fire and commented:
To my dear 11 Canadian readers… Are you ready for Canadica? Where we’ll talk about Canadian “real” hockey, Canadian “real” beer, and trash like Nickelback… Can’t win them all…

FYI…tomorrow you are being nominated for a shitload of blogging awards by moi! Check out my blog, http://www.paltrymeanderings.com, anytime after 6:30 a.m. E.S.T. tomorrow for all the details. Congrats!

Love to read it, and willing to volunteer if need be. Yes, I’m American, with strong roots in Buffalo, which is almost a suburb of Toronto. Hell, the Bills play one home game a year at the Rogers Dome now! Also, the novel I’m sharing online looks at how climate change led to a war between the US and Canada in the future, with Canada coming out ahead, so, kinda-maybe a good piece in my favor for the job there…? Eh…?

Great idea SM. Can’t wait to see what you come up with. Just a word….see what happens when a collaboration blog is kind of of abandoned. http://rubberchickendinner.wordpress.com where
I contributed content and responded to comments. Post were supposed to be funny. A couple of people snarked out and it’s been on hold for over a month. There are only 10 or 12 posts and a couple of pages.
Any thoughts on how to revive it? It was a good idea but a little difficult to coordinate between writers with day jobs.

If you’re still looking for Canadians, (I can’t believe some of the degrees of separation you have going on here), I’ll take a shot. But right up front, I’m not as funny as Sweet Mother, or as spicy as Speaker 7 but I have maple syrup in my veins.

I LOVE this idea! I live in the States, though I am Canadian AND my son has been on skates since he was 3! Is that hardcore Canadian enough? If you’re still looking for Canadians to write I’d love to give it a go. Especially since Americans need to be educated on the virtues of putting vinegar on french fries, and ketchup flavoured potato chips. Of course Canadians need to learn a thing or two too…I never would have heard of Fluffernutter sandwiches if I hadn’t moved here. Or learned that pizza counts as a vegetable.

I did not know that that film existed, but now I need to watch it, that clip was hi-larious!!! I love Quentin bopping his head to the music and then getting progressively more confused as to what the fuck is happening

Canuck here, an Anglo Quebecker at that who thanks to Bill 101 speaks French. Did you know Quebec actually has what we refer to as the language police who monitor signage to make sure that not only does French appear first, it is almost twice the size? Sadly I no longer call Montreal home and have moved to one of those boring conservative provinces.
Old school Degrassi rocks, don’t forget Degrassi Junior High, and some of us fans even recall Degrassi Street! I love me some Joey Jeremiah. Plus the Degrassi movie has a special place in my heart.

Ehm, let me introduce myself. I’m Lily in Canada. I’m from Chicago, but now I live in Victoria, BC. My blog was created for this very reason–to make fun of Canada and the states (but mostly Canada). I’ve recently switched things up so I don’t always blog about Canada, but I sure do have a lot of good old topics that I can dust off!

Hi Sweet Mother, I don’t think I’ve ever formally introduced myself. I see you all over the place and now, thanks to Le Clown, I’m commenting on your post. I’m friends with the Weebs, Brigitte, the Waiting, Guapo, Bro Jon, etc. We know the same great people.
Anyway, to the point… My daughter Lily recently married a Canadian and moved to Victoria, British Columbia. She has a blog called, Lily in Canada that she’s had for about a year. For the first 6 months she concentrated her efforts on making fun of Canadians. She’s really a funny kid, sarcastic, irreverent, and goofy, I think she’d be a great addition to your project. I’ll send her over since you need Canadians. Just an idea…

are you kidding??!! of course, we would LOOOOOVE that. I would say take a look at the first 4 posts. we start in september. that should give you a good idea of the “tone” for the blog. or maybe you’re ready to go ahead with it now? either way, we’d love to have you and we will of course dedicate a post to your fab song stylings… sm

I will be an avid follower, due to my pure jealousy of Canada in general. I want to marry a forest ranger and be a hockey mom for quebecois bilingual children. PLEASE CANADA, LET ME BE IN YOU. Sorry, desperate outburst occured. But so yeah, this is a fantastic idea. That is all. Good day :)

Hola Sweet Mother, I don’t believe we’ve met. Okay, I know we haven’t because I haven’t been on WordPress that long and Le Clown only found me recently. He pointed me in the direction of his Canadica post, but didn’t respond to my comment saying I’d be interested (I cried, didn’t eat for 4 days, and then drank two litres of maple syrup… I’m feeling better now). Anyways, If you’re still looking for Canadian contributors I’d be happy to take part, just not in November or December, as at that point I will be tending to the brand new Canadian I unwittingly made 7.5 months ago.

shanz! awesome, clowny told me about you. i need your email. can you send it here, sweetmotherlover@gmail.com or leave it in my comments section and i’ll include you with a date on the scheduling email. and congrats on the baby to be and no worries, i don’t think your date at this point will be until feb 2013. all the best, sm