Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.

• Pitt hoops redshirt freshman Lamar Patterson crashes his car into a building, posts "God is Great" on Twitter. [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette] In other news, former Pitt DB Jeff Knox Jr. has been charged with assault for allegedly slapping and choking a woman after she told him she was pregnant. [ESPN]

"I think the crowds in here have been pretty good," Kraft said yesterday. "You know, I understand what Tommy [Brady] was saying as well. Maybe, if we want to be up by that much, it's OK by me, and people want to chill."