Date: Fri, 18 Apr 1997 14:12:48 EDT
From: "oh say can you see, those misty tinks..."
Subject: EXERCISE: Values (Loyalty and Dependability) #7
[Based on the book "Teaching Your Children Values" by Linda and Richard
Eyre, ISBN 0-671-76966-9]
(p. 145) "Loyalty to family, to employers, to country, church, schools,
and other organizations and institutions to which commitments are made.
Support, service, contribution. Reliability and consistency in doing
what you say you will do."
"General Guidelines" (p. 146 forward) include
1. Highlight your own dependability--make sure people know that you
will always be there for them, that they can depend on you, that you'll
be behind them in hard times.
2. Thank people and praise them for every evidence of their own
dependability. Reinforce it, show them that being on time, supporting
someone else, finishing an assignment or task is important and valued.
Work hard at never taking for granted any act or evidence of
dependability or loyalty.
Some observations/games...
Traditions, mottoes, slogans are often sources of security, of
belonging which provides continuity and support.
Ask instead of telling--dependability is shown in meeting our own
commitments.
Make a list of synonyms or phrases suggested by dependability. Make
a list of antonyms for dependability. Then think about how these
characteristics help people or hurt them. Do the same for loyalty.
Discuss who or what a person can be loyal to. Also consider who
should be able to depend on that person. Consider situations that might
strain those relations, and plan ahead as to what you believe the best
response would be.
Loyalty to friends often is thought to mean "not telling on them",
"keeping quiet," or lying to protect them. Does it?
Make rewards depend on dependability--if you do the work without
being asked or reminded, you get more.
Think about the cautions that are required. Don't make commitments
that can't be kept, or too many commitments to handle. Choose the right
commitments, then carry them out whole-heartedly. Also, be cautious and
careful about giving loyalty. Don't pledge loyalty to too many things,
and save your highest loyalty for your deepest loves. Don't confuse
loyalty with "not ratting."
Breaking commitments usually affects others. Take scenarios where
someone breaks a commitment, then consider the ripples that flow from
that.
This is almost a standing theme for some genres. The conflict between
loyalty (to good friends, to promises already made, to commitments and
peppermints...to all kinds of things) and the momentary desire, the
looks on the new man (or woman!) on the block, the flirtation of the
moment.
But, right now, we're thinking about you writing about loyalty and
dependability. So, let's pick a number from one to six:
1. When young we are faithful to individuals, when older we grow more
loyal to situations and to types. Cyril Connoly, The Unquiet Grave
(1945), 2.
2. We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified. Aesop, "The
Old Man and Death," Fables (6th C. B.C.?) tr. Joseph Jacobs
3. Men have a thousand desires to a bushel of choices. Henry Ward
Beecher, Proverbs from Plymouth Pulpit (1887)
4. Often, the thing we pursue most passionately is but a substitute for
the one thing we really want and cannot have. Eric Hoffer, The
Passionate State of Mind, (1954), 3
5. People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other
people have been left out on the pleasure. RussellBaker, Observer, The
New York Times, Nov. 2, 1967
6. Only he can understand what a farm is, what a country is, who shall
have sacrificed part of himself to his farm or countr. Saint-Exupery,
Flight to Arras (1942), 23, tr. Lewis Galantiere.
[Quotes taken from The International Thesaurus of Quotations, by Rhoda
Thomas Tripp, ISBN 0-06-091382-7]
And our story is about...one to six, if you please?
1. Loyalty to family
2. Loyalty to employers
3. Loyalty to country
4. Loyalty to church
5. Loyalty to schools
6. Loyalty to other organizations and institutions to which commitments
are made.
You may prefer to deal with dependability, support, service,
contributions, reliability, consistency...even commitment.
You have a quote and a little suggestion about loyalty. Stop for a few
moments and think about the character--who is our hero(ine)? Why do
they feel this loyalty? Is it well-founded or a mistake? And what
color teeth does your hero(ine) have (what? wrong question? okay, tell
me about their hair, eyes, fingernail polish, studs, navel rings, the
odd tattoo on their eyelids from that unforgettable night with the
Seventh Fleet...)
However, we need some conflict. Let's consider what might draw the
hero(ine) off the straight and narrow path into the brambles and other
fun of the rough (aside from a mean slice, a wicked hook, or just a bad
bounce...).
One to six?
1. The gang (misled friends, socialites unanimous, whatever social
group you like)
2. Desire to protect someone
3. Fear of authority
4. Greed (the desire for mammon! Pile that loot higher and higher!)
5. To keep a job
6. For easy gratification of a physical desire (sex, of course, is
common)
So here's the plot, in broad outline...
Scene one--our hero(ine) is stuck between their loyalty and the group,
desire, or fear. Which way will they go? (It may be a good idea to
personify the antagonist or tormentors that will remind our hero(ine)
regularly how easy it would be to just give in)
Scene two through n--raise the stakes, pull the tension a bit tighter,
paint the dilemma strongly for us. Make us sweat as we realize that
this time, loyalty will really cost!
The finale--the confrontation, in time between the pledge of loyalty and
that old demon desire. Our hero(ine) sees the dilemma, sees with
unwavering eyes the choice that must be made, and...
makes it.
[I realize there are a few details left to fill in, like setting,
characters, action, and so forth. As the professors like to say, "these
are left as an exercise for the reader." that's you, chums, so...get to
work! contemplate that quote, refine that loyalty, and make that other
side strong and reasonable.]
for those who like a jump-start:
"Perhaps there is no happiness in life so perfect as the martyr's",
he said, and fired the gun.
This sentence can be used or laid aside and ignored, as you please.
[quote from "The Trimmed Lamp" [1907] The Country of Elusion, O. Henry,
in Bartlett's Familiar Quotations 16th edition]
tink