Wednesday, January 14, 2009

"I Know My Rights!"

In posting a video of this sort, recommended by that infallible connoisseur of the absurd, Uncle Michael, we would ordinarily use the money quote as the title of the post. Certainly "I know my rights!" qualifies in this instance. But this clip -- from the dashboard video camera of a cop -- overflows with such material, to wit:

"Oh, man. Not this guy."

"Pullin' over Steve; stop the lawnmower."

"Hey, turn the lawnmower off."

"Steve, how many times I gotta' tell you you can't be driving down the road, drinkin', on a lawn mower?"

"I'm just goin' down to the Oyster Shack, man!"

"Where your whiskey at?" "I just got this, man!"

"I'm not goin' to jail today."

"I'm dead! Goddamit!"

"I think I crapped my pants."

We pause here, before our feature presentation, to reflect on Uncle Michael's inerrant instincts respecting matters of this sort. It is not only that he recognizes the inherent absurdity of a fellow, drunkenly piloting a lawnmower down a country lane, only to be pulled over, tazed, and arrested.

No.

To grasp the quintessence of Uncle Michael's judgment one must realize this: Uncle Michael sees this video and realizes, "Hey, man. I been there." Indeed.

More: in recommending this item to your humble and obedient servant, Uncle Michael implies (correctly): "Hey, man. We both been there. And you know it."