Accidental Bitchfest

OK so my last attempt at a blog was wah-wah … and it read as way harsher then I meant. Which in itself is what I was talking about … the not caring what others think … but there I go again … caring. So fuck it. I’m not going to try to define anything. What will be will be.

But Stacy’s comment made me think and she’s right … this blog has helped people and I want to keep that part going.

Alex, you’re right also … I want to start writing books.

Rexie, I know you always have my back.

Guest writers? I’ve totally changed my mind. The only thing is I’m going to screen better from now on! But seriously, all the other writers have been amazing and a huge contribution to the site. I shouldn’t have let the few times I got burned let it color the rest. It was a learning curve and I’m still learning.

In the mean time, have you heard of Abraham-Hicks? There are a ton of cool videos on YouTube but I wanted to share this one, it might speak to someone out there.

One Response to “Accidental Bitchfest”

Aside from the brilliance of your writing talent, Sasha, one of the best things about this blog was the quality of your guest writers. They infused your energy with their own and what resulted was simply spectacular. Not only were their contributed pieces thoughtful and engaging, but then, they went the distance and participated as a member of the thriving online community that was once here. The comments section was a living thing – so many intelligent, sensitive women (and some men) that often I thought myself too lacking to be counted among them. The advice, the support, the drama, the juice, the arguments, the slinging, and even the occasional trolls were what compelled so many of us to obsessively refresh our browsers because we didn’t want to miss a thing. Anyone who might be struggling because the light just went on for them just needs to make their way to your post about “When I First Realized…” That article, in itself, is a great resource to calm any confusion they might be feeling, but then add that rich comments section and by the time they get to the bottom of it (if they make it that far), they will be feeling perfectly normal in their own skin. Talk about public service!

At the expense of creating diatribe, I am not sure if you have it in you to “not care”. You ARE a caring, sensitive soul even when it is at your own expense and suffering. I suppose there is a ceiling on the price someone is willing to pay for caring, and you probably reached it. But I have to wonder if what you mean by “not caring what others think” really means that you no longer are going give a flying flip about judgment. If so, it is a perfectly understandable response and defense to preserve your own opinions and ideas. As a popular public personality, I am sure the voices of dissent can get pretty damn loud if common, general population sees you bucking the status quo. So loud that it is difficult to hear the ones of endorsement. I imagine they whirl together and create quite the cacophony which might make it difficult to remember what it was you were even thinking in the first place. To make it all just stop, I can see where you might completely withdraw or SCREAM so it will quiet down enough for you to think again. Being so loved is a doubled edged sword and so many famous people will tell you. You have to find a way to turn off the negativity that invariably comes with being known. There will always be detractors, people who get their kicks by pissing on parades, who love nothing more than to see someone scorch the whole earth trying to eliminate them. They would gleefully dance in the streets if someone burned their house to the ground just trying to get rid of termites.

This isn’t to say that the only thing you want is the accolades and adoration, but it is to say that those are perhaps the only thing you should open yourself up to. There is nothing wrong with that. You don’t do anything to hurt anyone. You aren’t an ax murderer so negative judgment should be moot. You are simply someone who is trying to live her life the best way she knows how. Trial and error just like the rest of us, but the difference is you’ve bravely lived your life on display for the benefit for the community at large so they might learn from your mistakes and triumphs, victories and defeats. When you were low on energy to spare, your guest writers filled in by offering their own. Sure, not all the guest writers turned out to be sterling, but at least you gave them the chance. Chalk it up to experience and use what you learned to move forward and onward. It might be difficult to screen writers, (just how do you do it?), so if you decide to take CCL into a new direction, it might help to start off with the best intentions and find a way to laugh when things don’t go as well as planned. Public Demand can weigh heavy on a caring woman like you, so I’m totally on board with your approach of doing it for yourself as long as it feels good, and setting fire to it if it ever doesn’t.