Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Frazzled

At work they love me. I am so efficient, so quick, so supportive. I always, always have a good attitude. I get things done. I take "ownership" of projects, instead of merely doing tasks. I strive to be firm, but conciliatory, and to not get too personal. I have earned the flexibility to work from home when I need to, because my bosses know it is quite easy to reach me if they have to.

Lately it has been a harder struggle than usual to be the model employee that I am. I am juggling multiple projects with conflicting deadlines. I have been managing crucial projects and it has been quite complex to coordinate deliverables with such a large group of people who need to be involved. People come out of the woodwork asking for things, and I often find it hard to say no, because what they are asking for is part of the services I am supposed to provide, and they need them now. My boss told me yesterday to send all my internal clients an e-mail letting them know what my priorities are this week, so they know where they stand. In the past I have found it easier to just do what they want, but I may have to do as he suggests, because the requests keep growing in number. It is an understatement to say that my stress levels at work have gone up. When the work day is over, I feel spent and mentally depleted.

Throw in a screaming toddler, a fickle and defiant nine year-old girl, a house in disarray, and sleep deprivation into the mix, and you have a recipe for disaster. If my parents were not here, I am sure Gabriel and I would have been at each other's throats during this whole flooring project. Lately all Paula and I do is fight. She is in a very challenging stage right now, and is relentlessly pushing me to the limit.

I really need my two weeks vacation. I don't want to be this stressed out, angry and melodramatic person that I become when I am home. I can't wait to have some time to regroup and spend quality time with my family.

8 comments:

Recognizing your stress levels and the cause is a good indicator. Many people don't understand that the difference between those who get paid a lot of money versus getting paid little is the amount of mental work involved. Often people complain that they work more than other people who get paid more, but they fail to realize that much of their job is inside their head.

You strike me as a person who has worked hard to get where you are and spent a lot of time in the trenches. At some point you have to let go of some of the grunt work you've done in the past. Even when you’re not in a management position, there is a point where you have to figure out how to delegate and get others to do work for you.

There isn't a magic solution for having a full day then getting home and feeling like you have to start a new one without any rest. All I can tell you is what I learned from my own experience.

Don't talk about any bad stuff from work when you get home, but do mention anything good that happens. Protect your home life from the stuff you have to deal with outside of home. Sit in your car for a few minutes before you leave work and get it out of your system. Leave work in the parking lot as much as you can before you leave. Sit there for 30 minutes if you have to listening to the radio. And get a lot of rest.

People tend to stress about the stress more than what is causing the stress.

Ugh, trying to juggle a very stressful situation at work, and the demands of a family, a house in disorder from the flooring project, and still manage to smile in the company of relatives... is it any wonder you are feeling emotionally overloaded and worn out?! When do you start your vacation? I hope soon!

I'm glad to hear that you have a supportive boss, that helps a little anyway.

Paula is just coming into that age where there are going to be some conflicts and she works to develop her own identity and cope with the changes that are occuring. Just know that you will both live thru it, and end up closer than ever by the time she's 21! :-)

Try to sneak in a little downtime just for you, and a bubble bath in the evening! I'll be praying that life lightens up for you SOON!!!

Greg, thanks for your comments. I think they are very accurate in terms of how I have gotten where I am and the changes I need to do as part of my career development (letting go and learn to delegate). Fortunately, I have a boss who thinks along the same lines and is coaching me to that end.

I find that, instead of shielding my family from my work stresses, I am taking it out on them. It isn't right. I like your suggestion of sitting in the car for a few minutes and letting go. I will certainly try that.

Josie, thanks for your comments and your perspective on things with Paula. I appreciate it, because I know you have been there. My vacation starts next Monday, if all goes well.

i just cannot help but wonder if you gave your all at home,, and the left overs at work,, instead of the other way around... where would that put you??? i am not trying to be sarcastic... just from a blatantly obvious perch,, me having never been you,,, i wonder....

I don't know, Paisley. It is an interesting question, one I had not thought of. But I am not sure there is such a clear-cut distinction.

While I am painfully aware that how things are right now does not work, I am not sure the opposite would be a good alternative. Not having a degree in business, and having risen through the ranks, I know that I am where I am because of my work ethic. And I would not do anything to jeopardize my job right now.

I work to live, to provide for my kids the best way I can and know how. But I also work because I grew up with parents who both worked outside the home, and I learned it's what you do. And if I am going to work, I am going to do my best, not phone it in.

yes at least you know your limits and know the causes for the stress levels you're feeling. throw in a pre-adolescent and toddlers..and things can get hairy.. believe me!!! it is so easy to get roped into taking work home.. believe me I do it all the time..but it really is better off (for all of us) to try as much as possible to separate work from home.. (easier said than done eh???) ... hope you'll be able to take a breather fromall of this soon.

Mom:you have said somethings that i don't like but a blog is like a diary. though i don't talk about you in my diary but i _B_E_G_ you don't talk about me like that.

i wont be so winey to as far as i can go i will try my best you FUZZY POP! deep down inside i know you love me. THIS IS MY OWN BLOG THAT I JUST WROTE! thanks. now other people read my comment/blog! OK! and people i can be challenging but i'll try i'm just human . now excuse me i must finfish my home work!

What is a boricua?

Puerto Ricans often proudly identify themselves as Boricua, from the Taíno word Boriken, to illustrate their recognition of their Taíno heritage. The word Boriken, which translates to "the great land of the valiant and noble Lord", was used by the original Taíno Indian population to refer to the island of Puerto Rico before the arrival of the Spanish. The use of the word Boricua has been popularized in the island and abroad by descendents of Puerto Rico heritage, commonly using the phrase, "Yo soy Boricua" ("I am Boricua", or "I am Puerto Rican") to identify themselves as Puerto Ricans.