Saturday, June 27, 2009

The Other "L" Word

This is just an observation, one which may sound kinda weird, coming from a cynic like myself.

I've read all sorts of things about people finding love -- a/k/a "the 'L' word," as I used to call it before the debut of a certain Showtime series -- on the internet, but I am extremely skeptical about that. Infatuation, yes. Lust, sure. But real, abiding, romantic love? Personally, I don't feel that you can have that sort of connection until you've actually met, and spent time together.

You know, like in the so-called "real" world?

However, having said that, I do believe that you can get to know someone well enough via emails to eventually feel "friendly love" -- platonic love, in other words -- for that person. In fact, it's happened to miserable ol' cynical me not once, not twice, but at least four times in the not-quite-ten years I've been online.

So... "love" yes, "in love," no.

And no, no names.

Don't be silly!

I can't completely let my guard down, don'tcha know.

Thanks for your time.

P.S. -- Next time, it's back to my usual cynical bastardliness, I promise.

18 comments:

having just watched "elegy" I find your post quite timely. Ben Kingsley's character speaks of romantic love and takes the woman of his latest desire to a play that speaks of platonic love--he was looking for more but would settle for platonic love--with that in mind, emails cannot replace the exchange of people meeting face to face--I do believe,however, that emails can lay the groundwork for an interesting meeting. Whenever I have heard or experienced the discussion of romantic and platonic love, it is primarily based on one of the parties struggling with or aspiring to a new level in the relationship--face to face works best and is true--besides, the eyes never lie.

In my life -- it's really late, and I'm kinda punchy, or I probably wouldn't be writing anything this personal -- I've had several friendships with women where the line between platonic and romantic was blurred at best, and non-existent at worst!

"MY ISLAND," a lengthy example of the former type, can be found here: http://davidzrantz.blogspot.com/2008/06/my-island-chapter-one.html. I link to it in the left-hand column of my blog, and like I say there, it's 1. "Probably the Best Thing I Ever Wrote" and 2. "Twenty-eight chapters and an epilogue. Pack a lunch."

i think, having never met some one or only via cyber space, you could fall in love with the thought of them. would have a hard time seeing it go much deeper. face to face always better. interesting post.

Brian: Well put. I think the falling madly in love, head over heels, marry-me-and-have-my-babies reaction to a bunch of emails would fade once you're faced with the reality of that person spending quality time with you physically. But I hear that potential brides from Russia can fall in love after only two or three emails! ;-)

Love is love. I think love is love and all other things come into a partnership, lust, physical attraction and such. But those are other things then love.

Love is a connection that makes you care about that person more than another person in the same situation.

I saw a movie once. The opposite of sex. Lyle Lovett had a great line about a party. Sex is a bio marker. And if the first person in a crowded room you are looking for is not the person you are having sex with then there is no need being with them.

Or something to that effect. I loved that part. And the part where a good shampoo would be better than sex.

Great movie if you haven't seen it.

I think we mix up sex and love too much sometimes. I have been known to do that. Others have done it to me.

Aren't we all seeking a connection to another person? Sometimes we get it where we can. And if you call that love, it's o.k.. Then it is love to you.

June's almost over, I better get off my butt and finish writing the end of Ugly.

S.F., cynic? You? I don't think I could let myself do this(on-line)falling in love thing. Relationships in the real world were bad enough. I never really tried to make them work( I don't believe you should never "make" something like that work, anyway ). Or maybe it's just cause I'm a "lone wolf". Dunno....

@Ishat-my landlord just "procured" a wifey from China( only to find out she's in the country illegally )Big surprise( to him...maybe )

Lurv!!!! Yea, I know what you mean.LOVE is both abstract & subjective (as is the WW if you think about it).I suppose the Internet can be the Start of Something.Why Not.......?All this could also explain all those Spam Emails for Viagra I keep Getting!

I can understand finding friendship online. I can even understanding getting to know a person enough to decide to go out on a date from meeting online. What boggles my mind are people who have never met in person that meet one time and they are in a relationship. I am talking about the "I left my wife and kids to be with someone I did not meet in person until I showed up with my boxes at her door" sort of thing. Of course, many times situations like this end up with one person getting scammed by the other. No real surprise there. But yet, there are still people out there who do shit like that. I don't get it...lol

Interesting post, Sir.Cynic...whose maybe not so cynic. There was a term passed to me that I've quite taken too...mutual admiration. I liked that term. With the exception of the physical, I think you can get to know someone quite well, provided honesty and integrity play a roll.

I Was Chosen BLOG OF THE MONTH ~ November 2011

I Won "The Goddess Award!"

Unfortunately, the "Everyday Goddess" site is no longer available, but here is the post that won the award for me!

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