Season 3 of The Walking Dead started Sunday night. My best friend’s husband (curse him!) got me hooked while I was out visiting last year. After watching season 1 with them, I went home and bought season 2. Then I spent a week watching a couple episodes a night by myself in the dark, in my haunted house. I have mentioned my house is haunted, right? Anyway, after a killer season finale and kick ass trailer for season 3, I’ve been counting down the days till the premier. So here’s my recap and review.

Just as I sat down to watch with my delicious hot apple cider and bag of pretzels, we open the scene with a zombie eyeball. Of course! What ever made me think I could eat and watch The Walking Dead at the same time? So Rick and his gang have barely survived the winter. It’s been rough. They’ve been surviving by going house to house in search of food and supplies, killing zombies left and right then zooming off before they’re overrun. But they’re tiring. And Lori is ready to pop out a baby. And they’re hungry. So hungry that little Carl is about to eat a can of dog food before Rick takes it and throws it across the room in a fit of frustration. “I’d rather you die than eat a can of dog food!” is what his eyes said.

In a stroke of good luck, while hunting with Daryl, Rick spots his saving grace. A prison. Yeah there’s a hoarde of zombie convicts (the worse kind of zombies!) but it’s gated and he sees a secure place to raise his growing family. You may be grimacing but this is the kind of world it’s become. Where a prison yard looks like a happy little baby play pen. So the group breaks through the fence into the prison yard then kills off the zombie hoarde. Ah growling rotting zombie flesh, how I missed you. After clearing out the yard, they have a delightful camp fire meal and sing Kumbaya. Even the zombies join in. Beautiful.

Then Rick explains that inside the prison could be a gold mine. Medical supplies, a cafeteria, an armory. They could be safe and well-supplied there for a long time. He, of course, is thinking about his baby – or maybe Shane’s. Yeah, remember him? I was pissed when they killed him off cause I thought he brought a lot of balance to the show. Ironic since he was the least balanced character but still, I was sad to see him zombified then shot in the head. Anyway, medical supplies are a huge incentive. So even though it’s dangerous and overrun with zombies, they have to risk it.

So the next day, Glen, Rick, T-dog, Daryl, and Maggie go into the prison hand-to-hand so they don’t waste ammo, and bust a few zombie skulls. Many zombie skulls. With as much gruesome, gory detail as last season. Maggie is one tough chick and is quickly becoming one of my favorite characters. Daryl was at the top of the list last season. The man is a survivor. I’d stick to him like bubblegum on a shoe if I was there. He’s got crazy in his eyes. Plus, a crossbow is a damn smart weapon.

Anyway, like all good Walking Dead episodes, they run into more trouble than they thought with the local zombie population. Prison guard zombies wearing helmets and full protection gear come out of the guard tower. Indestructable zombies! Now you’re screwed. The poor motley crew has to get even more up close and personal and slice through the neck of the armor in an upward motion to get at their brain. Way to make the gross even grosser directors. Bravo. *gags*

After they clear out one prison cell block, everyone piles in for the night, smiling and hopeful for the first time in a long time. Now I get that this is a big deal. Sleeping without being afraid to be eaten alive must be pretty fucking nice after what they’ve been through. But there’s just something wrong with smiling about picking out a cell with the least amount of blood on the walls and zombie goo on the sheets. “Go get yourself a nice comfy bunk there, tiger. Mind the stray zombie head.”

Do you guys remember the end of last season? Where Andrea was about to get eaten by a zombie but a hooded figure with two zombies on chains saved her? Yeah. So we meet that chick. And she’s a total bad ass with her zombie-slicing Samurai sword. She still has two arm-less, jaw-less zombies on chains for no reason than I can discern – unless they’re some kind of zombie repellant? Or maybe like a souvenir or hood ornament? Hunters do it all the time. Of course their trophies tend to be fully dead but maybe the principle stands. Anyway, her and Andrea have been close friends since that day, we assume. But Andrea is very sick. Coughing and fever and she thinks she’s going to die. But kick ass chick – who doesn’t have a name yet – won’t give up on her.

Lori expresses to Hirshel that she’s worried she lost the baby. She hasn’t felt it move in days. She’s afraid it’ll turn into a zombie and tear her apart. Valid fear. I’m with you there, Mama. She makes Hirshel promise to kill her or the baby right away if there’s any sign either of them are becoming undead.

The same crew from earlier (Glen, Daryl, Rick, T-dog, and Maggie, and Hirshel too this time) go in search of supplies. This is where the show resembles more of a horror movie. Investigating the dark tunnels of a zombie-filled prison with flashlights makes for some heart-stopping moments. But at least I watched it during the day. I did cover my eyes at one point. Don’t judge me.

The episode ended in true Walking Dead fashion, with me murmuring “oh fuck” then calling everyone I know who watched it. But this time, I’m not telling the ending. Mwuahahaha!!!!

No, seriously. It would ruin it for people who read this but haven’t seen it yet.

Overall, cause it does say “review” in the post title, I give the series premiere a biiiig thumbs up!!!! Can’t wait for next week!

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