This is a blog of news and essays aimed toward gay Mormons who wish to hold the Priesthood of God honorably (Men) or to remain active members of the LDS Church (Men or Women), their family and friends, or anyone who has questions about what it is to be a faithful Mormon, or a Mormon questioning... and gay.

Saturday, November 29, 2014

I really enjoy reading your blog. Among the moho blog authors I've read, you stand out as on of the more "chipper". I see a lot negative self-examination among mohos (myself included) yet you seem maintain a very positive attitude despite what some might see as trying circumstances,. Do you agree?

If so, to what do you ascribe this? The gospel? Your faith? Prozac? (You mentioned it in some blog entries.) Other? All of the above?

I hope it's not an offensive question. I ask as a peer who has much to be thankful for and knows better, yet feels life is pretty much a waiting game at this point.

Thanks!

-A reader

I have been told this before, that I am a "happy guy". I think it is due to that fact that I am... get this, a happy man. I have dealt with a lot of stuff and I have come out on top so far.

This is not to say that I don't look at things I have done in the past and cringe, and want to pass out from embarrassment or shame.

If they show a video of my life, someone is going to have to severely edit this motha' before general audiences sit down for a viewing. I could end up being the Harvey Keitel of the afterlife.

There were easier ways...

I have really screwed up. And maybe that is why I smile. I have seen the other side. I see a bit of it everyday still, and I try to walk past it to something different, something of my choosing.

I have chosen to give up stuff in exchange for other stuff that I wanted more. The choices I made set well with me. I feel good about them. And while I am feeling pretty good about choices I have made, I also feel good about letting others make different choices without trying to convince people that my way is the only way.

Frankly, if you have read a little of my writing, my way is a little bizarre so you might want to try it another way to arrive at your own, unique and joyful result.

There were days I spent around bathrooms and locker rooms at BYU, or waiting for someone to pick my up from the police station -- or on a good day being in priesthood meeting with all the real guys knowing that I would never really fit in.

Well, I fit in just fine, thank you, and I am pretty happy about that.

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

So much of what I am able to write has been positive and affirming, stories of changing perceptions, education and understanding. This post is not part of that.I read today that the Islamic State stoned to death two men, claiming that these men were gay. The Islamic State seems to be functioning under the impression that it is God. Or Allah... as if either would stone anyone. The killings were reported by the Syrian Observatory for Human Rights. According to this report, the first victim was approximately 20 years old and was killed in Mayadeen, an eastern province of Deir Ezzor, which is close to the Iraq border.

The Observatory, a group based in England reported that the IS claimed it had found proof of "practicing indecent acts with males" on the victims cell phone.
In a separate but similar incident, another man was killed for the same reason. An 18-year-old man was stoned to death in Deir Ezzor city after the IS proclaimed him gay, the Observatory said.

"Activists on social media said that the dead men were opponents of IS and that the group had used the allegation as a pretext to kill them" said the Observatory.

Activists who have taken to social media say the IS carries out public executions regularly. Many of these are beheadings. Women have been infamously targeted for centuries.This is what modern Gadianton robbers look like. Take a good look and understand it for what it is.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

In 1986 I was on my mission in a very poor area of Central America. I didn't entertain a lot of sophisticated questions. I did answer preguntas like "are you part of the CIA". "How many TVs does your family have?" "What shampoo do you use?" (because my hair became increasingly blond throughout my mission) and "How many girlfriends do you have?" which, in retrospect, may have been a prequel to "how many wives do you have?"This was the closest I came to having to answer the polygamy question.After my mission I did have chances to explain our position on polygamy -- mostly to fellow Mormons. I was always amazed at how many of my contemporaries didn't know about polygamy, had chosen to ignore it completely, or used it as the reason to not commit to the Church. As a youth, a very gay youth, I had been fascinated with church history from a young age and read what I could find in the pre-Internet world -- which included some anti-Mormon literature I'm afraid.There was always a part of polygamy that I didn't not understand -- kind of like a chapter that was missing from the information available.

However, and this is a big deal to me, I never doubted the LDS church or its teachings, or the Gospel, because there was a chapter missing. I knew that someday I would find it and I could read all about it and have my questions answered.From what I had read, polygamy happened. It had been a Mormon thing. Some in the early church were called, or asked, to participate, and others were not. Some found out about polygamy and tried to exploit it. Everyone knew what was happening, but they didn't know the why.My understanding, again as a youth at the time, was that polygamy existed to care for many of the woman. With my current understanding, the caring for women may have been a result but was not the impetus of the decision. I do not know details of the impetus. I do believe that Joseph Smith moved in holy circles which were part of his very human existence, and I believe that he received revelation. I believe that Joseph god fearing man would not have taken such a thing lightly. Therefore:

The good news is that there is acknowledgement and information on the subject. More good news is that conversations may now happen on the subject without people feeling that they are somehow subversive. We are now, if we actually weren't before, free to ask questions in a way that has never before been done. About. Anything.Do you see where this is going?Like I said... good day to be a Mormon.*www.lds.org/topics/plural-marriage-in-kirtland-and-nauvoo?lang=eng

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Mormons are pushing the right buttons, and I say Yah! or Yeah! I can't spell it but I am saying it.

I have always been proud to be a Mormon. Always. Sometimes I looked like a farm boy from Idaho in the polite protestations of my faith. I have been called ignorant, and blind. I have been called gringo and fag. I have been called a Ute fan. That last one really hurt.

On my mission, when I would bear my testimony, I was sometimes questioned about polygamy, or my underwear, or a slew of things I felt I had to keep somewhat mum about.

Even in the days when I was actively being gay (having sex with men) I defended the church. That should have clued me in -- that I was feeling strongly about both the LDS church and about my homosexuality. They were both completely totally real for me. I feel the same today. I know that the Church is true, and I know that I am gay.

I was never really good at keeping mum. If I was ever asked about something church-ish I would do my best to explain while trying to be respectful to all involved. Even once, in a very compromising situation (not going to get into my past much on this blog) I defended the church and the church leaders while acting very much like someone who would have a problem with the churches stance on homosexuality.(It wasn't a secret that I was gay, nor was it a secret that I believed wholeheartedly in the priesthood and the authority of the LDS church.)

Now the church is doing the same thing. No, they aren't doing that same thing at all, but they -- the leaders -- are doing their best to explain churchy stuff while being respectful to those involved. Therefore, today's

Today's clarification concerns LDS stances on suicide and suicide prevention. The gist is that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has released a new "Mormon Message" video regarding suicide prevention.

The video, entitled "Sitting on the Bench: Thoughts on Suicide Prevention," encourages people of the LDS faith and others to be aware of those around them and to offer help by reaching out..

Thrilled. I am thrilled by this video and by the sentiment that is firmly attached. My own mother took her life in 1974. Had those around her been aware of symptoms and behaviors, her death could have been avoided and she could have gotten real help. Of course the bulk of the help in 1974 was a butt load of Thorazine, so maybe this is the perfect time for the LDS church to put such a video out.

With the video is a painting by Greg Olsen in which a boy sits on a bench next to Jesus Christ. Nate Olsen, Gregs son,shares the personal story that inspired the painting involving a friend of his who took his own life.

Friday, November 7, 2014

I have been helping a friend deal with an ongoing problem in his life. (I would never give out any personal information, including name and specific circumstances, so forgive me if I appear vague.)

My friends name is Bob. (Sorry, I don't want to spend too much time coming up with a name for him.)

Bob was abused when he was a child -- something I am finding out to be unbelievably common.

As an adult, Bob has the kind of problems that you would assume. Some post traumatic stress, trust issues, relationships issues, sexual issues -- you know the drill. And these issues are difficult to deal with, and make being his friend unpredictable.

Then there are ongoing issues with the family he grew up in. Obviously, by my writing this, it is obvious that he wants out. His background affects everything he does, including his relationship with the LDS church -- which he is actively pursuing. He would like to go through the temple, etc.

Now, I know all about the atonement and how what the Lord did for us makes everything possible, but it is hard to convince Bob (did I really pick the name Bob?) that this applies to him; That the atonement includes him and his situation regardless of how evil (his word) he may feel.

I know that this is sooo not politically correct for me to ask, but how many of you, dear readers, have come from a similar circumstance?

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

In my work I am on the phone a lot. I walk around with a headset and just plug in when necessary. While on the phone with a person in California I was attacked because my voice sounded gay.

Attacked, I tell you!

OK, it wasn't really an attack. She called me a faggot (sorry to use that word) and offered to set me up with her ex-husband. I suppose that her thinking that I would be a match for her ex-husband should have clued me in that might have been little problem with projection going on.

And I would like to think that if she was face to face with me she would see that I am a person and not feel comfortable calling me names.

What does that mean, by the way, that I sound gay? Was I coming across as way too smart?
Why, yes I was. I know my stuff at work and I try to present it quickly and efficiently. However, not all gays have an IQ like I do (Oh, please) and they don't all access information as quickly (Oh, please-er).

Was it my charming sense of humor? How about the three colones I had tried on during lunch?Was it that she couldn't get what she wanted from me professionally and decided to put me down in frustration?

YES! And that is what really gets my goat. People act all politically correct on the outside, and in their hearts they still consider being gay as sub par, as less-than.

Which leads me to think -- something I am not used to. Are there some people I consider myself to be more than? Do I consider myself better than others that I come into contact with in the course of the day?

This is a faggot, and you are a pig. Wish I could have said that.

Frankly, yes.

And I am convinced that is wrong. I should not feel that I deserve any special treatment or special privileges than anyone else.

I am a bit arrogant. However, my sense of self isn't super developed. I can't look myself in the mirror and give myself a thumbs up. So, do I try to pull others down a bit in order to feel , for lack of a better term, that I don't suck as badly?

Saturday, November 1, 2014

I am as weary of straight people attributing political agendas to the left as I am of the gay world feeling continually persecuted from the right. Lately, presenting the Walt Disney, Co as the homosexual flagship makes me roll my eyes and break out into song. Almost.No, dear friends of the homosexual and/or Mormon persuasion, The Little Mermaid does not promote the harvesting and raping of the seas, nor does Beauty and the Beast suggest all mental health specialists are inherently evil, or encourage animal husbandry.The animated feature Snow White does not present satanism to our children, nor does it advocate taking the law into our own dwarfish hands.Rapunzel is not a spokesperson for extreme hairstyles and her "friend" Eugene would not rather hang out with boys and steal valuable heirlooms that represent the family unit.Aladdin does not uniquely puts his faith in something other than the Lord, and the Princess Jasmin does not want the priesthood, nor is she running from personal responsibility and the mantle of womanhood.

Recently read an 80 page blog on how Frozen is promoting the gay agenda. However the only kissing I see in between a girl and a snowman, and a girl and an ice man. and a girl and a reindeer.Read up all you gay people. Take head straighties. Frozen is not a show that pushes the gay agenda. Frozen is a show that pushes the make some money agenda and the musical theater agenda.It is a film that suggests that, rather than face your problems head on, one should take time out to put your troubles to music. Also, the more dance positions you know, the better your life will be.That's the musical theater agenda. Musical theater folk would rather perform than..., well, perform.It crossed my mind when I saw Frozen that there would be some that would use the show to their political benefit. And by "some", I mean both screaming gays and blatant hetros. I do not believe Frozen was written to promote any agenda but this one: that there is a time and a place place to be in control, a time and a place to let loose, and that, when in doubt, sing. And be nice to snowmen. And that princes wearing white socks should not be trusted.Be aware, folks, that it is not just the loopy left that can be misguided. The wacked right is also to blame.Read this which is directly from a Mormon Mommy Blog:If you are seriously clueless as to what I'm talking about then it is imperative, particularly for morally minded parents, that you read this post and open your eyes to the homosexual agenda, and the principles advanced to promote it, that undergird (sic) Frozen, which is why it was written for Broadway* and will indubitably** be a hit - mark my words!**** It was not Written for the broadway stage** Impressive use of "indubitably" - last known use in the movie "Mary Poppins"*** Love the drama, but this would be much better put to music.Personally, I would love for Elsa to create a place for me to ice skate with my family and friends and I would like her to strengthen my ankles while she is at it. I don't care that she has sheer sleeves and doesn't have any food storage. And I an not weeping that Idna is getting all the popularity while a talented Kristin Chenoweth is relegated to "normal" musicals with people in them who ride trains and singing operetta.

A Reasonable Facsimile

This is not a gay blog!

OK, yes it is. But it is also a Mormon blog and a blog for priesthood men who honor their priesthood and wish to keep the LDS church an active part of their lives. I am all three... four. Five?

I am an active MarMoHo, a married Mormon homosexual. I have a temple recommend that I received honestly. I supportthe LDS church and the words of a living prophet. I support people who are gay. It can be done.

Apology for the ad below

Please forgive me if there is an ad in the space below is inappropriate. I am trying to figure out how to block the ads I don't wish to display. They pay for the ice in my Diet Coke

Cal Thompson

Followers

Gay Mormon men who cherish the priesthood and would like to honor their commitments!

Please be aware of sites on the blog-o-sphere that claim to be sympathetic to the teachings of the prophets. Some very well may be. Others are simple journal entries annotating the experiences of an individual with various degrees of success and or promiscuity. Not all can be as wonderful as mine. I hate to sound like the church lady, but chose your blogs and your friends wisely.

And eat your vegetables.

And Fruits!

About Me

I write under the name of Calvin Thompson. I am a creative, accountable, and loving man. I am a Mormon who is also gay. I am married and have 3 children. My bishop is in-the-know, and so is my wife and several of my close family members. I consider myself to be a closet conservative, which is not as strange or as un-popular as you might think, and will be increasingly popular as a growing number of the left improves it's proverbial and literal aim.
I believe that LDS people are Democrats in action - as in they try to take care of people, but Republicans in name - they want to do it themselves without regulation.
I believe that the messier the fridge, the happier the family, but I still have a hard time not straightening it because I'm a control freak. My wife knows I blog, and that I am writing a book – I try to keep things as above board as I can without setting myself up for public ridicule.

"Chastity is sexual purity. Those who are chaste are morally clean in their thoughts, words, and actions. Chasitity means not having any sexual relations before marriage. It also means complete fidelity to husband or wife during marriage."

I order to better understand one another, I think it would be wise to understand the terms used in these essays. What I propose is an Examination for Discovery, which is briefly a meeting of the opposing sides in a lawsuit where the plaintiff and defendant, with their attorneys, meet to examine each others claims and see whether they can find some area of agreement and thus save the time of the court later on. This is assuming that there is common ground, and I believe that even the most cynical of us would agree that there is.

It will be hard to understand one another if you think blue is periwinkle and I think blue is turquoise. I know that the differences may not be a big deal - between periwinkle and turquoise - but I think its best to be incredibly clear. We both may disagree on what blue is, but, for purposes of communication, we will use the terms as listed here - adding when needed.

Of coarse they may be subject to change and/or refinement with experience and further knowledge – and with feedback. Being that this is a blog and not a diatribe, I get to lead I suppose.

List of Common Terms On Which We May Agreeor Agree To Agree On For Sake of Discussion*

For sensitivity reasons we wanted to run this list past my Gramma Ruby, which would have been really helpful not to mention miraculous because she died at an Elizabeth Dole Rally in Boise)

Active: 1) A lifestyle characterized by frequent or various social, intellectual, and particularly physical activities; 2) In geology, a volcano which erupts regularly; 3) A member of the LDS Church who is often seen carrying brownies, scriptures or children back and forth to Church.

Affirmation: 1) A positive assertion. 2) An organization for LDS homosexuals and the people that love them, but not affiliated or supported by the LDS Church.

Sentence: Falling off of the stage was the affirmation she needed to confirm the universality of gravity.

Sentence: The LDS SGA think OGA from ID, WO and MT dress like the NFL.

Beehive: 1) Home to bees, 2) A height-positive sixties hair style which many Mormon women continued to wear through the seventies and into late nineties and early 00’s with a slight revamp; 3) Young woman’s organization of girls who can’t drive yet.

Choice: 1) A decision between two or more option, and often referred to as free agency, personal rights and freedom.

Sentence: The choice for Juan Carlo was to either be eaten alive by the anaconda or jump from the boat into the mouth of the hungry crocodile.

Church: 1) An identifiable religious body under a common name; 2) a physical structure often equipped with a satellite dish, food warming area and an indoor basketball court.

Sentence: The ambulance and two squad cars were sent to the ball game at the Church between the elders and the priests due to last year’s “incident.”

Closet: 1) Upright storage space for clothing; 2) Slang reference to the status of an individual wishing to remain private about his/her sex life and who hasn’t acknowledged their SGA feelings yet to friends and family members.

Sentence: He had been in the closet so long he smelled like cedar and old shoes.

Coming Out: 1) The act of leaving a building or structure. 2) The process of telling people about one’s homosexuality is often referred to as coming out.

Conversion therapy, or reparative therapy or reorientation therapy: 1) A type of sexual orientation change effort that attempts to change the sexual orientation of a person from homosexual or bisexual to heterosexual. In the past techniques have included psychoanalytic group therapy involving aversive conditioning, electric shock or nausea-inducing drugs, and may have included sex therapy. Today there seems to be a more subtle and genteel approach which is being met with more success,

Down Low or DL : 1)This term means different things to different people, however generally it connotes dishonesty and hiding. 2) A term for men who discreetly have sex with other men while in marital relationships with women. Often these men do not consider themselves homosexual or bisexual, and their female partners are generally not aware of these infidelities.

Ex-Gay: Term for those who have experienced SGAttraction and who, for religious or other reasons, have chosen not to embrace a gay identity, or to engage in SGA behavior.

Family Group Sheets: 1) Forms used in annotating genealogy; 2) Money saving tactics for Mormon families at bedtime.

Sentence: Laverne and Lavelle grab your sister and a family group sheet and get you off to bed.

Families are Forever: 1) LDS catch phrase originating in the early eighties - referring to the belief that temple sealed families created on earth can move into the next life together. 2) The prevalent attitude after two weeks of dealing with the new in-laws.

Sentence: Did you hear our new sister-in-law-sing the Duran-Duran Medley? Are families really forever?

Folk Doctrine: 1) Doctrines that develop from prevailing rumor.

Sentence: Three stakes in Pocatello have been asked to spear-head a pilot program for the Churches new Work and Glory aerobics program.

Gay: 1) A happy and joyful method of celebrating holidays often sung about in English Carols and Fred Astaire films. 2) A common term for an individual attracted to their same gender. Gay has been a widely used synonym of "male homosexual." Its meaning is rapidly evolving to refer to both male and female homosexuals. Some people differentiate between homosexual and gay: homosexual is regarded as a sexual orientation; gay is a political identity -- i.e. an advocate for equal rights for persons of all sexual orientations

Gender: 1) The set of characteristics that distinguish between female and male members of a species. It is often used interchangeably with the word "sex" denoting the condition of being male or female.

Genealogy: 1) An activity Mormons do happily while praying to hook up with a distant relative who has done all the work.

Sentence: Brother The-Hun was a bit disturbed when his grandma showed him his genealogy line went directly to some guy named Attila.

Heterosexual: 1) People whose emotional, sexual and romantic feelings are primarily for those of the opposite sex or having to do with opposite sex attraction.

Homophobia: 1) An irrational fear, prejudice or discrimination towards homosexuals. Homophobia can take many forms, from name-calling and teasing to serious crimes like assault and murder. Homophobia like other irrational fears is most often based on ignorance.

Homosexual: 1) People whose emotional, sexual and romantic feelings are primarily for those of the same sex or having to do with same sex attraction.

In: See out.

Last days: 1) A horrific time of floods, famines, political strife and food storage eating – much like yesterday.

Sentence: The last days of a back to school sale appear to be frequented by women on a weekend pass from the state hospital.

Lesbian: Term to describe sexual and romantic desire between females.

Lifestyle: The term lifestyle (as in gay lifestyle) has become a polarizing term though used by gay and lesbian people in the past. “Those in the lifestyle” usually means “those who identify as gay", though it may refer to behavior as well as identity - much as LDS lifestyle would mean those living the teachings or of the culture, or East Coast Lifestyle may refer to black turtle necks, bookstores and apartment living.

Many are called, but few are chosen: 1) What I keep telling myself when I am asked to be on the ward activities committee again.

Mixed Marriage: For our purposes here, a union between one of “heterosexual” orientation with one dealing with SGA.

Out: See in.

Prophet: 1) A man called of God who holds the keys to direct the Church and to speak for Jesus Christ. The President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is a chosen prophet, seer and revelator.

SSA: 1) Acronym for Same Sex Attraction. The LDS Church prefers SGA, (which I always thought stood for Star Gate Atlantis reruns) but actually means Same Gender Attraction. SSA and SGA are terms not highly favored among the gay community. Neither, for that matter, is the phrase “gay community”.

Sentence: ST-TNG and SGA are playing all week on SI-FI.

Sin: To behave in a manner that is contrary to the revealed commandments of God.

Transgendered: A designation of person whose identity does not conform to conventional notions of male or female gender roles.

Quotes, Quotation Marks: Tool used to set apart a word or phrase. For our purposes here, generally speaking, using quotation marks to denote words such as “gay” or “homosexual” is offensive. If you are not comfortable with using a term from the “so-called other side”, then it is recommended that a substitute which doesn't involve quote marks is found.

Sentence: I am offended that “he” just used quotations on the phrase other side.

Straight: 1) A direction which veers neither to the left or the right. 2) A slang term used in the place of heterosexual.

Sentence: The geography club, Straights of Magellan is not accepting new members.

Strait is the gate and narrow is the way: 1) Popular scripture quote used to encourage righteous living and weight loss.

Tithing: 1) One tenth of one’s income donated voluntarily to the LDS Church for upkeep and needed things.

Sentence: Ten percent of nothing is still nothing.

Urim and Thummim: 1) Tool used by Joseph Smith to translate the Book of Mormon. 2) What I wish I had to understand my kids text messages.

Wickedness Never Was Happiness: 1) What Cal’s first missionary companion in the MTC from Macon Georga wrote on his left bicep with a sharpie when visas to Central America didn’t come through on time. 2) Comment made by those on their way to Church when a boat or motor-home pulls up in the next lane of traffic.

Preference,not Principal

Blue shirts, red ties, dark nylon socks...

This is a blog for Mormon SSA* men who wish to follow the teachings of the LDS church while owning their Homosexuality. It can be done! This blog-spot is written by a sort-of smart gay man who is a card-carrying member of the LDS church and hopes to remain so. He will remain so by following the teachings of the prophets. His motto for today is "Many a true word spoken in jest," and he will try to not be so charming.

Mr. Thompson thinks he knows just about everything. Lately, it has been proposed that he may, in actuality, not. He is trying to be open to that thought.

Mother Teresa

Everybody today seems to be in such a terrible rush, anxious for greater developments and greater riches and so on, so that children have very little time for their parents. Parents have very little time for each other, and in the home begins the disruption of peace of the world