So here we come : to the next level of hierarchy. I tend to shut myself from those things just because I've only had enough on my late self, and it wasn't a good thing either. I spent much time on that and the bitterness still there. Then I decided that it isn't my thing so I have to leave it out there. But that day when I walked into that room I want to be something different : to give something certain for the so called new family. At last, I'm just too dumb and cruel in mind to take the steps and leave out under the shadow of stigma.

If only I could speak my mind up and feel less incapable, then and only then, I would probably thank myself from being so unrecognizable I couldn't imagine before.

But to take courage you should have something others don't.

I lost the moment to hit the rock so I crawl instead of climb onto the peak of fortune. I cursed the fainthearted of mine more than others can see and be burdened enough to take nightmare as a morning class after that. I barely sleep, but when I do, I feel relieved, only to feel distressed for waking up. I did nothing to stand for it and it's the worst thing I could probably feel right now, said the most incapable human being.

It must be hard for him to take us on his side and leave the full of force and power squad on the other side. I just want to believe that it's because of something I cannot see even this very day.

I feel like we'll never win against anything even though the war isn't coming yet. But His grace is all over the world, and when I feel so tired of this little piece of catastrophe, I shouldn't have to.