You may think you know watches, but let's be real — you just don’t. Let me, a true horological aficionado, enlighten your plebeian minds as to what makes a real watch, what you should wear when, and what to do with those old watches of yours. All the opinions expressed by the Watch Snob are my own and are just that — opinions. Don’t worry, though. AskMen will still be bringing you great features on interesting watches to buy, both old and new, expensive and cheap. But for those who would like a truly discerning opinion on timepieces, let the Watch Snob decree.

Snob,

I respect your opinion, appreciate every roast you give and will gladly accept one if I deserve it with this question. I own a TAG Heuer Monaco automatic and want a second watch. If I had the budget, it would be a A. Lange & Sohne Lange Zeitwerk, but I don't have the means to buy one. After researching for my price range, I’m thinking about the TAG Monaco LS.

Would it be douchey to own two TAG Monacos?

I am justifying it because my current automatic has a rubber band and the LS is metal.

I see the beginnings of an absentminded mono-brand collector in you, my son. There is a particular gene present in some men — often those men who define daring as pairing a patterned shirt with a striped tie — that causes them to go bonkers over one brand and one brand alone. I’ve witnessed this myself countless times, where a man of considerable intelligence and means wastes his entire watch-buying prowess on one (often) mediocre brand.

The TAG Heuer Monaco is a good watch — one of the best the brand has ever made. And the Monaco LS isn’t a bad watch either (although, let’s be honest — it’s way too thick). But why do you need both? Unless you want to be the next Arno Haslinger (look him up), go for something outside the TAG family.

Even if your next purchase is an Omega (may God have mercy on your soul), at least you’ll know what else is out there. Also, you do realize that a strap can be changed in a matter of seconds, right? That means that the rubber strap on the automatic and the LS’s bracelet should have no weight in your decision.

What I’m trying to say is, there are dozens of mono-brand collectors in the world, be they dedicated to TAG Chronographs, Rolex dive watches or Patek’s complications. All are narrow-minded and foolish. A collection needs to be robust and include a dive watch, a vintage watch, a dress watch, and a piece of true haute horlogerie.