Britney Spears Dead at 31

McComb, MISSIPPI — After Britney Spears seemingly failed in her latest Europop-style comeback single Work Bitch, the singer died from complications resulting from Dibetus. Spears reportedly went on a dangerous eating binge which triggered the diabetic attack. Work Bitch has since skyrocketed on the charts, earning the Britney Spears Estate 20 billion dollars overnight. Family has promised to donate the proceeds of the album to the Childhood Dibetus Foundation. Spears suffered from childhood dibetus, an illness which robbed her of insulin and at times caused her to shave all her hair off.

Make-shift shrines were erected across the country, and fans have left flowers and hand-written notes in remembrance of Spears. “I’m going to work so hard I’ll be the next Britney,” said one crying teenage fan, adding, “And all the haters just need to leave her alone! This bitch will work until they’re all dead.“