Giddily married to her best friend. Texas native. A magazine editor. Novelist and writer. Working hard to become published. I'm delightfully whimsical, artsy and creative- almost to the point of sheer goofiness. I take frequent dance breaks wherever I am, whenever I can. My days are spent chasing my two Chihuahua puppies, Bitty and Bear. My motto: Be a happy duckie!
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Tuesday, February 03, 2009

The Intruder of the Pond

Dearest Invisible Subjects,

It is your regal ruler, Queen Bitty. And I have a terrible tragedy to tell you about.

A horrible event.

A disastrous deed.

This creature has invaded the Pond.

Did I just hear you coo?

I thought not.

It seems my unloyal servant, the Blond Duck's sister Danielle, has gotten a new puppy. A baby beagle named Star.

I am not amused.

How dare Ben rub her belly?!?

Look at the fuzzy body, those floppy ears, those small paws! Blasphemy, I say!

This just makes me sick.

And she even has a moose. Snarlllll.

Wuffle. I like mooses. Wuffle. And dolphins.

Honestly, how can you respect any furry creature that flails about like this? How unlady-like.

I am not amused.

Wait a minute.

What is this??!?!?

I have not the words.

Blond Duck, you've crossed the wrong 3 lb. Chihuahua Queen. Vengeance shall be mine. You shall learn the hard way that I, Queen Bitty, ruler of the Pond, am the only puppy in your life.

And Bear. I guess.

Cookie-stealing bunny, attack!

Blond Duck, you shall rue the day you crossed Queen Bitty, ruler of the Pond, for the fuzzy creature you call Star.

Beware the vengeance of the Cookie-Stealing Bunny!

Stay tuned, Invisible Friends! Tomorrow we have a new Twirl and Thursday, a tasty family recipe that you can take anywhere, anytime. And Friday, the next part of the Rubber Chicken's story as he searches for his long lost Fuzzy love!

What a perfect way to start my day! I love Queen Bitty and her royal subjects! I can see how disgusted you are by the adorable (I mean rotten) little puppy named Star. I don't blame Ben (I mean, how could he???) for wanting to give her some cuddles...

awww poor Bitty, but that is one cute little puppy! I adore Beagles (sorry Bitty). We had one for 15 years when I was growing up. I loved her so much. Her name was Penny because she had copper coloured ears. She slept with me IN my bed every night. I know . . . I'm disgusting. :-P

We have a Beagle, so I know how cute they are as puppies. I think they bounce like little bunnies when they walk. Maybe if the cookie-stealing bunny watched the Beagle walk they could have a new relationship!

This may sound crazy but I totally relate to Queen Bitty. I never wanted a sister for the same reason. I was the queen, or rather the princess of my house! Even now my sister in laws KNOW that I'm still the #1 girl in my family! (I have 6 brothers!!!) :-) Seriously you should watch it Duckie & Ben, I'm just saying, it could get ugly for you. ~ingrid

Oh Queen Bitty why can't you all live in piece an harmony? After all, you are still The Queen I'll tell you what, if you promise to snuggle up to your new cousin, I'll ask, beg, Miranda to make you and only you a special treat for Dog Biscuit Day. (feb. 23) who knows, she may even name it in your honor..."Queen Bitty's Biscuit" has a nice chime...

You have almost three weeks to glorify your nobility...I know you can do it...

Bitty,That little "star" will never have your sass or attitude. Keep your friends close but your enemies closer!!~KN

PSI roll all my own change! I like to pour it on the floor and kind of lay in it (thinking about scrooge McDuck, of course). Then I lug it all to the bank and as I'm depositing it I like to announce to the teller how awesome I am for saving my change... or some other nonsense.

PPSI'm not joking... I really do lay in it. My son saw me doing it and got into it. He wanted to walk on it... that is fun too!

You are hands-down THE master of comedic writing. I laughed hysterically reading this. I'm now to the point where I even read/hear each critter with their own voice and slight accent. Well, accent is the wrong word ... more like muffled cookie filled mouth. Oh man, that narrowed eyed shot of the Queen still cracks me up. Wonder how she'll feel when the new pup hits the teething/chewing stage. Wuffle. PS: Cute puppy!

OMG. You give me both Cookie-Stealing Bunny AND a picture of Bitty looking really, truly, and genuinely PISSED OFF (I mean, she is honestly scowling) and it is 9 p.m. before I see it? My entire day could have been different had I started it with this post. Let this be a lesson to me.

You are hilarious! There is always one line from your posts like this that crack me up. Sorry for calling them out in the comments all the time (I hope it doesn't bug you). Today my favorite is: "And she even has a moose. Snarlllll."