That strategy will either mortify the girls so much that they’ll never get tattoos, or Obama will become the first president with “Justin ” tattooed on his left calf.

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That goes double for the woodland creature that lives on Trump’s head: Which TV shows will be renewed for another season? Which shows will be chopped? TV writer Gail Pennington offers her educated guesses about the network lineups, due to be announced May 13.

In the meantime, The Buzz asks all TV watchers to keep a positive mental attitude, which means: “Please, NBC, we beseech you: Cancel ‘Celebrity Apprentice.’”

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Why, oh, why? The Seattle Mariners continue to struggle, even against the weakest of teams, losing two of three to the equally feckless Houston Astros, including Wednesday’s 10-3 final score.

Friday, for the Mariners’ home game against the Angels, it’s Beard Hat Night. The first 20,000 fans receive a knit cap with attached “beard.” Actually that’s the first 19,960 fans, as forty of the caps have been reserved for the Mariners themselves to conceal their identities.