Life... As weird and wonderful though it may be.... Life always turns surprises in our path. Be it good, be it bad... Let come what may.
This blog do I dedicate to all who may read. That we may share understanding of men and people; especially of self.

Redirect You

28 April 2007

I did a test to find what drives me. And this is what drives me: What the report said about me (one paragraph ot of sooo many):

"Many people around you will be drawn to your charismatic nature. Let's face it; you are fun and easy to be around. People may tell you their secrets, ask for your advice, or just want to spend time around you and enjoy your escapades vicariously. However, your love of people may leave you vulnerable to unreasonable requests for favors. You don't want to see anyone suffer or unhappy, so you are easily spotted as softhearted. While you may love to keep others smiling, it is important for you to keep yourself happy as well. Don't be afraid to say no to people if their needs force you to over-commit yourself."

Yep. I have a problem with saying no to people I deem are reaaaaally in need. It's not that I feel I am indispensable, but that I reaally feel that I have to do something to help out. It's probably mostly dude to the fact that most of the time, I can feel their need. I know what I'd feel like if I were in their shoes.

I seriously dislike seeing people unhappy. The air seems to change when people's moods turn negative. And it suffocates. It hurts.

As such, more often than not, I try to compromise. I try to reach a decision where I still at least do something for those asking a favor, but not a decision that binds me to a hellish-world-on-earth.

Once a friend of mine texted me asking for my favor. He needed to borrow some money, saying that he has family problems and was in dire need of funds. I didn't reply to his messages. And I feel guilty to this day. I couldn't help him out; I didn't have the enough, what I had was just small enough to support me. I couldn't find the heart to say no neither. So I chose silence... He iterated his text a few times, asking and asking... And each time, my heart wavered. Yet i still couldn't help him out. Thus the silence continued.

To this friend of mine, although you may not read my blog, I truly apologise. It's not that I didn't want to help. But that I couldn't. I just... Couldn't. I truly, truly feel bad about it. So forgive me.