Type of Governments?

Sorry, No Photo Posted

This is probably the first post I ever made on this Digital Journal that I would rather keep it as my track of time.

Few hours ago, in one of the most famous Thai political web board called Pantip Rajdumnern there was a question asked about Mr. Thaksin Shinawatra, and his residential, now in Dubai. The question is complicated to foreigner for sure, but to Thai at the moment, we are divided into several groups of believer (yes believer, I would use that terms... as I don't even know what is right or wrong anymore). The question was "Why would democratic figure like Thaksin, would reside in Dubai?" simple but complicated as I mentioned earlier.

Why would they ask such question? I would say that the person who asked such question probably has no knowledge or whatsoever at all about Religion, Economy, Current Affairs and so on. Deep inside the questioner, I could guess that, he/she thought that Muslim is not democracy? I will not go into details, as I am not the practising Muslim myself. (I am Thai catholic) but from what I have learnt from old school, it described Muslim as "Equality, Freedom, and etc." So those might refer to democracy from the root?

Anyway, since this is first post, I would rather keep it light and humour, so I would attached within this first post a joke I came across from Internet.

Types of governments in terms of cows:

Feudalism: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

Pure Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. The government gives you a glass of milk.

Bureaucratic Socialism: Your cows are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you should need.

Fascism: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.

Pure Communism: You share two cows with your neighbors. You and your neighbors bicker about who has the most "ability" and who has the most "need." Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cows drop dead of starvation.

Russian Communism: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. You steal back as much as you can and sell it on the black market.

Perestroika: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the Mafia takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the "free market."

Cambodian Communism: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

Pure Democracy: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

Representative Democracy: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

Bureaucratic Democracy: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

Bankers' Capitalism: You don't have any cows. The bank will not lend you money to buy cows, because you don't have any cows to put up as collateral.

Surrealism: You have two polka-dotted giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

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DUBAI SYSTEM:You have two cows. You create a website for them and advertise them in all magazines. You create a Cow City or Milk Town for them. You sell off their milk before the cows have even been milked to both legitimate and shady investors who hope to sell the non-existent milk for a 100% profit in two years time. You bring Tiger Woods to milk the cows first to attract attention.

QATARI SYSTEM:You have two cows. They've been sitting there for decades and no one realizes that cows can produce milk. You see what Dubai is doing; you go crazy and start milking the heck out of the cows in the shortest time possible. Then you realize no one wanted the milk in the first place.

BAHRAINI SYSTEM:You have two cows. Some high government official steals one, milks it, sells the milk and pockets the profit. The government tells you there is just one cow and not enough milk for the people. The people riot and scream death to the government and carry Iranian flags. The Parliament, after thinking for 11 months, decides to employ ten Bahrainis to milk the cow at the same time to cut back on unemployment.

KUWAIT ISYSTEM:They do not have cows. Milk is imported since no locals can or would milk a cow.

SAUDI SYSTEM:Since milking the cow involves nipples the government decides to ban all cows in public. The only method to milk a cow is to have a cow on one side of the curtain and the guy milking the cow on the other.

OMANI SYSTEM:You have two cows. After a huge public speech in which you declare cow milking as a landmark initiative and appointing a new government body in charge of cow milking. You first spend a year doing nothing, then you spend 1 year on planning to milk them properly and safely, another one year to get the proper ministry approvals to milk them. By the time you actually get around to milking the cows, the cows are dead.