Photography

Those are Some Yugly Feets

My feet have never been pretty. I know everyone says that about their feet, but mine are truly heinous. Just ask my husband. The heels are thickly calloused and sometimes they get huge cracks in them. The toes are the same, but only the second one on each foot. The other toes are as normal as toes can get. I did not wear sandals for years because of my feet, but when the flip flop craze became so big a few years ago I finally said, "the heck with this. If someone has a problem with my feet, they can just avert their eyes." And I bought myself 2 pair of flips and now expose my feet to the general public.

Way back in college, I would slather Vaseline on my feet, encase them in socks, and sleep that way overnight. This resulted in softer ugly. Over the years I've tried this lotion and that cream, corn and callous salves, and even medication guaranteed to help the feet of the worst diabetic. Still, softer ugly and nothing more. Bath & Body Works Toe the Line paired with their Heel of Approval has been my best experiment so far, and I use them religiously. I also use something that looks like a cheese grater to file off the thickness.

Maybe I should have given you a heads' up on the nasty. I hope you weren't eating. Or drinking.

So I finally made an appointment to see a dermatologist about the feet. I tried this a few years ago when referrals were still needed, and the physician said, "why don't you try putting some cream on them for a few weeks and get back with me." Yeh, like I wasn't smart enough to try that all on my own in the past 20 years.

So I was at the dermatologist's office for all of 5 minutes before hearing the verdict. He called it a hereditary thickening of the skin, but Dr. Google told me that the medical name would be more like hyperkeratosis. I learned a lot from both doctors. The IRL doc said that it would never be cured, just made prettier on occasion. He gave me a prescription to do just that. Dr. Google told me that my feet are actually in the running for Beautiful Feet of the Year in comparison to others with this condition. Whatever you do, don't google hyperkeratosis of the feet. Yoi.

So I stopped at the pharmacy to pick up the prescription, only to find out that there was a $75 co-pay on the $369 cream. Dude, I could buy a whole lot of Bath & Body Works for that price. I didn't pick up the prescription, based on the fact that the IRL doc said it wouldn't even take care of the nasty anyway.

So I will go on filing my feet with a cheese grater, and the world will always be subject to seeing the nasty. But at least I know what I'm dealing with. And I'm out the $40 co-pay, too.

Bless your heart! I know the angst, believe me! I have a Ped-Egg in the nightstand table drawer, AND, I have a second toe that is at least as long as the first, on my right foot, too.Have you ever had a professional spa-pedicure? They really do make a big difference that lasts quite a while.