Zeb Colter has Jack Swagger Under His Spell

One of my favorite websites, The Blaze, has set its crosshairs on one of my favorite WWE Superstars, The All-American American, Jack Swagger, in a blog post entitled “Have You Heard The WWE’s Wildly Racist ‘Tea Party’ Wrestling Character Named Jack Swagger?”

To answer their question: Yes I have most definitely heard of Jack Swagger and no he’s not a racist.

Swagger is a former collegiate All-American at the University of Oklahoma. He’s also an All-American American, which if you’ve been following WWE for the past several decades like I have is neither new nor racist. Xenophobic yes, racist, no.

The real villain here is Zeb Colter and he’s got Swagger under his spell. He believes he’s found an apprentice in Swagger who can help him get his “We The People” immigration plan through the WWE and subsequently through the U.S. Congress.

Colter introduced his plan in a blistering response to President Obama’s State of the Union address this past Monday on Raw. Colter’s principles are sure to put the negotiations between the “Gang of Eight” and the White House in a Patriot Act Ankle Lock if Swagger ends up victorious at Wrestlemania XXIX where he will face current World Heavyweight Champion, and richest man in Mexico, Alberto Del Rio. (If you were thinking Carlos Slim, you’re wrong).

For those doubting the seriousness of the Colter plan, I urge caution. Since joining with Colter, Swagger has been on a tear in the WWE, including winning this past Sunday’s Elimination Chamber match, a gruesome six-man clash in a steel cage.

Swagger’s new swagger is dangerous territory for all those who stand in his way. Alberto Del Rio and the WWE Universe have been put on notice, and if this new populist “We The People” movement takes hold, Washington may be forced to reckon with a new player in the coming immigration debate because it’s still real to me, damn it. -TTM

Also, just as I finished writing this, I learned that police in Mississippi arrested Swagger on suspicion of DUI and possession of marijuana. (H/T TMZ.) More evidence of Colter’s poison.