Be Our Guest column: Marriage matters

By the Rev. Bill Campbell

Published: Wednesday, April 25, 2012 at 9:12 a.m.

Last Modified: Wednesday, April 25, 2012 at 9:12 a.m.

“Marriage equality.” “The good of society.” “A redefinition of marriage.” These are some of the concepts being discussed and debated in North Carolina as the May 8, 2012, primaries approach in which we will be voting on a state marriage referendum. I share my personal thoughts on the topic here, not as a pastor, but as a citizen. I do so with respect for those who disagree with me in a civil and thoughtful manner.

I would first like to express my love and appreciation for many who do not self-identify as “gay,” and yet struggle with unwanted same-sex attractions. I would also like to express my sorrow for many who identify themselves as gay and who have felt rejected by the church. I have given much time and effort to help Christians deal with the issue of homosexuality in a loving (and yet truthful) manner. As complex and difficult as such issues may be, I believe the modern marriage debate to be even more challenging. For example, I believe that a person can love gay people and yet be against gay marriage. It is in that spirit that I write this article.

I believe that today's push for same-sex marriage is but a symptom of a much deeper problem facing each of us. We have become a culture that allows personal fulfillment and immediate gratification to trump the needs of our society. Our cultural approach to marriage demonstrates these short-sighted priorities. In her excellent work, How Love Conquered Marriage, Stephanie Coontz describes how post-enlightenment thinking created the fault lines over the span of two centuries that became a mammoth earthquake, impacting our country in the 1960s and 1970s and leading to a soaring divorce rate, rampant adultery, unbridled promiscuity, and a devaluation of marriage vows.

The push for same-sex marriage rides on the coattails of our diminished commitment to the covenant of marriage. Thus, political debate and getting the votes out may curtail the legalization of gay marriage in conservative states like North Carolina, but if we don't deal with the more substantial underlying issues, such victories may be short-lived. Worse, if we don't soon wake up to our real problem, America may forfeit its position as a world leader. J.D. Unwin, in his insightful work, Sex and Culture (1934), studied eighty-six cultures spanning some five thousand years and found that the most prosperous cultures were those that maintained a strong marriage ethic. Those that liberalized their sexual practices soon lost their vibrancy, influence, and might.

Marriage matters. It is foundational for our culture, as it has been for every culture in history. If the foundation is compromised, we endanger everything that rests upon it. Many popular gay authors express freely that their effort to legalize same-sex marriage is largely an effort to “normalize” homosexuality in our culture. It will do more than that. In Massachusetts, Illinois and Washington DC, Catholic adoption agencies have had to close down, and counselors and teachers have lost their jobs simply because their beliefs do not coincide with the new state laws. So-called “equality” in marriage rights often creates inequities among citizens based on their values and beliefs.

What about those who claim that marriage is a “civil” right? Who would argue with the value that has made our country great: respect and equality for all citizens? One problem: sexual preference is not innate as is ethnicity. Science leaves the question about origins of same-sex attraction unclear and unresolved. And a legitimization of same-sex marriage raises further questions. What about the preponderance of studies throughout time demonstrating that children are most healthy when raised by both a mother and a father? And if marriage is no longer confined to the union between a man and a woman, on what criteria is it explained? Romance and love? If so, where do the redefinitions end? The legalization of same-sex marriage is already being used for legal argument based on precedent in some states for other, more troublesome alternatives to natural marriage.

When you vote on May 8 (or through early voting starting April 19), be sure to vote your conscience on the marriage amendment. Those who enter the polls but decline to vote on the marriage amendment will essentially be counted as a “no” vote. A “yes” vote will codify the long-held understanding of marriage already found in our state laws and will protect our citizens from a possible redefinition of marriage based on the decisions of legislators or activist judges.

W. P. Campbell is the pastor of First Presbyterian Church in Hendersonville, N.C., author of the book, “Turning Controversy into Church Ministry: A Christlike Response to Homosexuality” (Zondervan), and host of The Vital Connection radio program (TheVitalConnection.org).

<p>“Marriage equality.” “The good of society.” “A redefinition of marriage.” These are some of the concepts being discussed and debated in North Carolina as the May 8, 2012, primaries approach in which we will be voting on a state marriage referendum. I share my personal thoughts on the topic here, not as a pastor, but as a citizen. I do so with respect for those who disagree with me in a civil and thoughtful manner.</p><p>I would first like to express my love and appreciation for many who do not self-identify as “gay,” and yet struggle with unwanted same-sex attractions. I would also like to express my sorrow for many who identify themselves as gay and who have felt rejected by the church. I have given much time and effort to help Christians deal with the issue of homosexuality in a loving (and yet truthful) manner. As complex and difficult as such issues may be, I believe the modern marriage debate to be even more challenging. For example, I believe that a person can love gay people and yet be against gay marriage. It is in that spirit that I write this article.</p><p>I believe that today's push for same-sex marriage is but a symptom of a much deeper problem facing each of us. We have become a culture that allows personal fulfillment and immediate gratification to trump the needs of our society. Our cultural approach to marriage demonstrates these short-sighted priorities. In her excellent work, How Love Conquered Marriage, Stephanie Coontz describes how post-enlightenment thinking created the fault lines over the span of two centuries that became a mammoth earthquake, impacting our country in the 1960s and 1970s and leading to a soaring divorce rate, rampant adultery, unbridled promiscuity, and a devaluation of marriage vows. </p><p>The push for same-sex marriage rides on the coattails of our diminished commitment to the covenant of marriage. Thus, political debate and getting the votes out may curtail the legalization of gay marriage in conservative states like North Carolina, but if we don't deal with the more substantial underlying issues, such victories may be short-lived. Worse, if we don't soon wake up to our real problem, America may forfeit its position as a world leader. J.D. Unwin, in his insightful work, Sex and Culture (1934), studied eighty-six cultures spanning some five thousand years and found that the most prosperous cultures were those that maintained a strong marriage ethic. Those that liberalized their sexual practices soon lost their vibrancy, influence, and might.</p><p>Marriage matters. It is foundational for our culture, as it has been for every culture in history. If the foundation is compromised, we endanger everything that rests upon it. Many popular gay authors express freely that their effort to legalize same-sex marriage is largely an effort to “normalize” homosexuality in our culture. It will do more than that. In Massachusetts, Illinois and Washington DC, Catholic adoption agencies have had to close down, and counselors and teachers have lost their jobs simply because their beliefs do not coincide with the new state laws. So-called “equality” in marriage rights often creates inequities among citizens based on their values and beliefs. </p><p>What about those who claim that marriage is a “civil” right? Who would argue with the value that has made our country great: respect and equality for all citizens? One problem: sexual preference is not innate as is ethnicity. Science leaves the question about origins of same-sex attraction unclear and unresolved. And a legitimization of same-sex marriage raises further questions. What about the preponderance of studies throughout time demonstrating that children are most healthy when raised by both a mother and a father? And if marriage is no longer confined to the union between a man and a woman, on what criteria is it explained? Romance and love? If so, where do the redefinitions end? The legalization of same-sex marriage is already being used for legal argument based on precedent in some states for other, more troublesome alternatives to natural marriage.</p><p>When you vote on May 8 (or through early voting starting April 19), be sure to vote your conscience on the marriage amendment. Those who enter the polls but decline to vote on the marriage amendment will essentially be counted as a “no” vote. A “yes” vote will codify the long-held understanding of marriage already found in our state laws and will protect our citizens from a possible redefinition of marriage based on the decisions of legislators or activist judges. </p><p>W. P. Campbell is the pastor of First Presbyterian Church in Hendersonville, N.C., author of the book, “Turning Controversy into Church Ministry: A Christlike Response to Homosexuality” (Zondervan), and host of The Vital Connection radio program (TheVitalConnection.org).</p>