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Friday, December 16, 2016

I volunteer at S's school sometimes. It is always a unique feeling when I get there. Very rarely have I felt welcome. I am a working mom who volunteers 5 to 6 times a year unlike the other moms who do a lot more for my daughter. I am eternally grateful for them. I am always trying to blend in, to see if there is any common ground and I am yet to find something.

This morning we had Holiday Parties and I was there, standing alone, yet again, wondering how I can bust my way into the clique that has formed with me on the outside. I waited calmly for someone to talk but everyone was busy so I just waited. Eventually the festivities began and two mom's next to me started to chat. I tried to join in and figured out they were talking about makeup, so I randomly nodded my head without really paying any attention to what was going on...

Mom 1: I did my eyes today so that it would take people's attention from all this (she said while pointing to her lower part of the face.)
Mom 2: I know, it is very difficult, I never do make up but now I am having to, to hide all this.
Me: What?
M2: You don't have to worry about anything, you have perfect skin.
Me: What?
M1: You must be like 40 plus with the skin of a 25 year old.
Me, in my head: WTF! I am just bloody standing here, I get told I have good skin (yay!) and then get told that I am 2 plus years older than I actually am (Bloody F).
M1 and M2, check my face while I stand like a dumbass still wondering What?? happened here!

We move rooms and I am now next to another mom, who is wearing a pair of boots that I would love to own! I am lusting about it and I mention to her...

Me: Love your boots.
Her: Thanks.
Thirty second pause while she is thinking what to compliment me with...
Her: I love your eyebrows...
Me: Thanks...
Her: All you Indian people have amazing eyebrows that crown your entire eye.
Me, instead of just saying thanks and letting it go, bring myself down in the classing way only I can do: No, see I have black hair, if I do not shape it on time, I am growing a forest. I have to shape my eyebrows, remove upper lip hair, ugh! I hate this whole hair removing business...

Yup, she lost interest in me very soon. And I am wondering why I do not fit in...hah!

I got complimented for the whole Indian group of eyebrows...I got told I am old with good skin...I walked out amused. There is no way I can get on top of this. I will keep on trying though...maybe just say Thanks and shut up next time might help.

Monday, December 12, 2016

An office friend traveled to South East Asia a few years ago and came back with a scarf for a gift for me and another colleague. I remember looking at the piece of cloth wondering what to do with it. I did not know what it was either. I took it home and placed it my closet with other miscellaneous pieces of oddball cloths. The other colleague also had no idea what to do with it. She used it as a coaster.

It took me almost 7 years to figure out what it was. It was a scarf. I was not fashion forward. I had seen my friend wear it as a scarf but never thought I could pull it off...Not sure if I am still pulling it off but I like it. It keeps me warm on a cold day while looking colorful and cute. I wear it ruffled or pleated. I wear it on blues and reds and other colors. I like how it pops out of my black jacket to add color to my life. I don't need neck jewelery!

Thanks friend for the beautiful gift that has stayed with me for so many years and now is making a mark in my life...

While I am scarfing it up now, I wonder where the other scarf is? In the trash? Dusting tables and windows? It did after all start its life as a coaster, cannot go much higher now can it? I wonder what my friend thought every time she walked past the coaster scarf?