I grew up around alcoholics, when my real father finally got his shit together I went for visits on the weekend(I refused to leave my foster family and a judge upheld my wishes)

He used top take me to AA meetings because he had no choice but to go. That was when they were all in the basements of churches and I used to sit and read in the little kitchen while they traded tales of woe.

All I remember is the smell of coffee, cigarettes and a lot of very very nervous people. That and those big old fashioned huge metal coffee urns.

The alchies here are just jerks.

__________________
Something "real men" should know.

The queen is the most powerful piece in the game of chess and frequently has to protect the rather weak king.

As for your friends? I just find it sad you follow Pilot like a puppy and leap to his defense all the time.

But like the poster they had on the wall in health class back when I was a kid said, "Dirty little pigs stick together!"

Course that poster featured three pigs playing in the mud and was about hygiene, but I find it is very fitting in other ways as well.

You still haven't answered my question though, why do you care about my dick so much?

As for my friends, well Pilot isn't one of them, but not because I wouldn't be his friend, but I just don't know him. The length to which you exaggerate is pretty amazing though. You have what, about a thousand posts in the last year that are nothing but you ragging on him, and I have how many posts in total?

You know what I find sad? Remember the night you got drunk and went on and on about how Literotica wouldn't let you write a descriptive rape scene about a nine year old girl. You're one sick and twisted fucking individual.

Wonderful. Perfidious posts a single example sentence claiming it's purple prose and I respond that that single sentence doesn't look like purple prose to me and then this thread goes over the edge. Some folks here have got a whole lot of hate inside them.

Ignoring all the acid being tossed back and forth like turn of the century snake oil salesmen lauding their own personal Brand X . . . .

I read the first chapter. Here's my singular reaction.

The disclaimer at the beginning goes a long way to setting the tone for the story. I get that this is a satirical story. What I'm a little confused on is just what is being satirized. Is it that you are going for a reversal of the typical black sheep theme, in that the son is "normal" while the rest of the family are raging perverts? Or are you spoofing the unmotivated, jump-in-the-sack-just-because mentality of a lot of badly written erotica?

That I've already been put in the mindset that this story is making fun of something helps with some of the dialogue. I like the parts about Damien doubting his own paternity, and his mother chiming in with her casual question about it. Similarly, the question about Damien's sexual orientation because he hasn't followed in his family's footsteps and begun banging any and every woman in sight.

There's a lot of good basic material in the narrative, but it's all sort of disjointed. What are you getting at? Where is the story? Yeah, I get that Damien is a romantic, that he would rather meet the girl of his dreams and fall in love as opposed to getting his wick wet, and that he disapproves of his family's sex parties. But there's a lack of direction to the story, in my opinion. It's like a jumble of rambling thoughts that pushes toward a general purpose . . . I'm just not sure what that purpose is.

All in all, the first chapter reads like a dry 80s British sitcom, like Keeping Up Appearances, just from a younger point of view. There are some hidden gems here and there, but also a lot of unpolished junk that doesn't do much for the story. I'm not saying it's bad, it just doesn't seem to have much direction. By the end of page 2, I'm still looking for a hook.

Ignoring all the acid being tossed back and forth like turn of the century snake oil salesmen lauding their own personal Brand X . . . .

I read the first chapter. Here's my singular reaction.

The disclaimer at the beginning goes a long way to setting the tone for the story. I get that this is a satirical story. What I'm a little confused on is just what is being satirized. Is it that you are going for a reversal of the typical black sheep theme, in that the son is "normal" while the rest of the family are raging perverts? Or are you spoofing the unmotivated, jump-in-the-sack-just-because mentality of a lot of badly written erotica?

That I've already been put in the mindset that this story is making fun of something helps with some of the dialogue. I like the parts about Damien doubting his own paternity, and his mother chiming in with her casual question about it. Similarly, the question about Damien's sexual orientation because he hasn't followed in his family's footsteps and begun banging any and every woman in sight.

There's a lot of good basic material in the narrative, but it's all sort of disjointed. What are you getting at? Where is the story? Yeah, I get that Damien is a romantic, that he would rather meet the girl of his dreams and fall in love as opposed to getting his wick wet, and that he disapproves of his family's sex parties. But there's a lack of direction to the story, in my opinion. It's like a jumble of rambling thoughts that pushes toward a general purpose . . . I'm just not sure what that purpose is.

All in all, the first chapter reads like a dry 80s British sitcom, like Keeping Up Appearances, just from a younger point of view. There are some hidden gems here and there, but also a lot of unpolished junk that doesn't do much for the story. I'm not saying it's bad, it just doesn't seem to have much direction. By the end of page 2, I'm still looking for a hook.

It is a satire based on a reversal of the usual "black sheep" scenario (hence the title), but another aim is writing an allegory for a normal guy growing up in the sexually explicit 21st century.

The story is eventually about Damien and his search for "love". I wanted to write it episodically, like a sitcom rather than one long narrative.

__________________My stories in case you are interested. Offbeat, unconventional and just a bit dark. Just a bit, I swear

In the midst of hate, I found there was, within me, an invincible love.
In the midst of tears, I found there was, within me, an invincible smile.
In the midst of chaos, I found there was, within me, an invincible calm.
I realized, through it all, thatů
In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.
-Albert Camus

It is a satire based on a reversal of the usual "black sheep" scenario (hence the title), but another aim is writing an allegory for a normal guy growing up in the sexually explicit 21st century.

The story is eventually about Damien and his search for "love". I wanted to write it episodically, like a sitcom rather than one long narrative.

With that in mind, I'd say you're accomplishing what you want. Like I posted above, you have some gems in your prose, and Damien's character is pretty well defined. Not so much for the rest of the family, although Lucy at the end of the first chapter is a little more fleshed out than the parents. I'm assuming that was done on purpose.

All in all, I liked the writing. If I have time, I'll get around to Chapter 2.

__________________My stories in case you are interested. Offbeat, unconventional and just a bit dark. Just a bit, I swear

In the midst of hate, I found there was, within me, an invincible love.
In the midst of tears, I found there was, within me, an invincible smile.
In the midst of chaos, I found there was, within me, an invincible calm.
I realized, through it all, thatů
In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.
-Albert Camus