5 Things You Need To Consider Before Going To Therapy

You already know my word for the year is intentional, although it is my word for 2018 I began being intentional at the end of 2017. I saw a therapist for the first time; actually for the second time in my life. My Mom took me to one when I was really young, she thought something was wrong with me and was looking for a fix. As it turns out, nothing was wrong, I was just a busybody and needed to be kept busy. Ha! I have no recollection of this but the story makes me giggle.

At the end of last year, Babe and I decided to try couples therapy/counseling. This was a first for the both of us, we have talked about it here and there but had never done it. Over the years I have heard all kinds of things about therapy, both good and bad. At first, it was something only “famous people” did, at least that was the only time I heard it mentioned. For many years therapy was very taboo in the black community. I would hear people say “Don’t tell people your problems”.

Well, I have my own perspective now and it is one of the best decisions we have ever made. We don’t lay out on a chaise (Did you say it like the commercial?) but it is a nice environment. It is not spilling out all of your business, it is a conversation. Therapy is self-care just like getting your hair done, nails done, a massage, Target, you get it. We are investing in ourselves, although we are doing couples therapy we are learning things about ourselves individually that makes us better partners together. We’ve been at this thing for 14 years *body roll* this is a much-needed tune-up, oil change, front end alignment, and tire rotation. Honestly, it has been a relief off of my shoulders.

5 Things to Consider Before Going to Therapy

#1: Find a good therapist: Finding a good therapist is essential to the process. Put as much work into it as you do when finding the perfect stylist/barber or your eyebrow gal. You need to connect with this person, this allows for better results and a better experience. I do not recommend going to someone you know or a friend of a friend. If you would feel more comfortable with a woman, then seek out a woman.

#2 The Cost: It is not as expensive as I thought, so says the girl with health insurance. It cost the same copay as going to see a specialty doctor. Tip: If you have a job utilize your Employee Assistance Program (EAP), they typically offer anywhere from 4 – 8 FREE therapy session for yourself or someone in your immediate family. Your co-workers and supervisors are not privy to this information.

#3 Have a Goal: You need to know what you want to get out of this experience. Do you want help getting over a trauma? Do you want tips to cope with a difficult parent? Do you want to manage your mental health concerns? Do you want to address behavioral changes in your kid? Do you want better communication with your spouse? Whatever your it is, know it before you go. This allows you to maximize your experience. Don’t be afraid to write down your goals and the particular points you want to bring up.

#4 Be Open: If you are not open then you will not meet your goal. It is as simple as that, the therapist is not here to force you to speak. They are going to get paid no matter what. If you do not feel comfortable speaking see point #1. If you are not going to be honest about what is really going on you will not meet your goal. You may need to have a come to Jesus moment with yourself before your first session.

#5 It will Get Uncomfortable: At some point in your sessions, things will get uncomfortable. It is a part of the process, don’t take it personally. Remember tip #3 you are working toward your goal. We do things and we do not realize we do them and or we don’t understand why we do them. The finding may be tough, but it is the breakthrough you are seeking.

Have you ever tried therapy? Chat with me in the comments below or FB, IG, and Twitter.

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Mimi Green is the Lifestyle Media Correspondent and editor behind MimiCuteLips®. She is a mother of two and a girlfriend to one. You can find Mimi working media at your favorite events, traveling and trying out new adventures, or working on a dope DIY project.

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This is such a great post! I’m definitely an advocate of therapy and have been going on and off for eight years. It’s awesome the two of you went together. Your five things to consider are on point too.

I really enjoyed this post. Mental health is so important and not enough is done to highlight that. I love that you said therapy is just like selfceare and investing in yourself. I wish more people looked at it this way. Lastly, you make a great point about having a therapy goal. I don’t think I’ve ever done that but I wish I did.

This is definitely something to keep in mind when you go to get counseling. I have never done this with my husband I have a my own for a different reason! The big thing for me is I had to get along with the counselor and then we had a similar life focus.

I believe therapy can be extremely helpful. Several of my friends are therapist and are very helpful. Don’t over look going doesn’t mean a person is weak, like going to see a physician for a physical illness.

Great Information! I remember when Darrick and I started counseling I was really nervous but I found that it was so easy to talk and get things out in the open! Even though we started going to counseling for our grief it helped us understand things better as a couple!

I’ve been to counseling. It can really help. I had to deal with my mother’s boyfriend sexually abusing me and my mom allowing it. I ran away at 16 and the people who took me in, had me do counseling. It really helped me to get over those years where I wasn’t in control of my life and it helped me to take control of the rest of my life and not be a victim anymore.

Thank you for sharing. I think the more conversations from people who look like us about the importance of seeking therapy would make it not such a taboo topic within our community. I’ve gone, but I’m pretty sure that’s something my family and friends don’t know.

This post is wonderful. I love that you broke down the stigma of therapy and highlighted how it can be so helpful for couples, no matter what their challenges or strengths are. PS–Your dress is FANTASTIC!

This is a wonderful post. I think being open is key, because walking into such a personal experience with huge expectations is going to put pressure and insecurity in the way of actually growing learning.

I think it’s good for couples to spend time speaking openly and honestly with one another. I think it’s important to not overlook the value of older married couples around us whom we trust and respect. Many of them can tell you the same things as a therapist.

Really great tips! I think choosing therapy when needed shows strength and courage. You are will to face the issues to find the solutions. You definitely mentioned a few things I don’t think I would have considered in making my decision. Thanks for this.

In my opinion if tou think theraphy would save up yoir relationship I say go. I could what people would think. Every time i hear couple theraphy it reminds me of the movie Couples Retreat . I dont mind going on a theraphy if this will be held in Tahiti 🤣

We don’t go to save our relationship, it isn’t in danger. However, we go to make sure we don’t end up in danger. Much like the same reasons we get physicals every year. Tahiti would be an amazing place to go, I need to see this movie.

Starting therapy has been one of the best decisions that I’ve ever made. My therapist is a perfect fit for me and I look forward to being able to get things off of my chest in an objective environment.

I’m a total believer in everyone being different, but each person knows what’s right for them. I think a lot of problems couple’s face can greatly benefit in therapy, but they simply find it taboo and won’t give it a chance. Sometimes it’s the best thing you could have done for your relationship!

Therapy can be taboo for some because that person may not feel comfortable sharing intimate details of their life with a stranger. That was my initial thought before going to counseling, but after i really connected with my therapist and after our first session, i was so comfortable, it was easy for me to communicate with her.

I have been in therapy before. It took a few tries to find one that worked for me. I don’t need to see her all the time but she is definitely a big help when I am feeling overwhelmed with my anxiety and depression. I like being about to talk with someone who helps me to see the big picture.

I think couples therapy can be very helpful for every relationship. My husband and I tried couples therapy with two different therapists and we didn’t like them. LOL So I agree with you about finding a good therapist. Sometimes you have to meet a few different therapists to find someone you really connect with. Therapy does get a little uncomfortable, but I think it’s important to have a conversation with your partner and say during therapy it’s a “Safe Space” where you both can be completely honest and open about your feelings. Great tips! 🙂

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Hey Cuties, Mimi here living my best life in the Washington, DC area.I am quite possibly the dopest person you know. I am a Lifestyle Media Correspondent, the life of the party, and the eater of all things delicious. #FatSnacks