The bride who chooses the black dress does not care about etiquette,” said Jung Lee, a founder of Fête, an event-planning company in Manhattan. Ms. Lee advises brides on the intricacies of everything from invitations to attire. “That’s not to say she doesn’t have manners,” she said, “but it’s certainly not etiquette. My advice is that she really think about it, and not just in the short term. Think how the pictures would look 10, 20 years from now. A bride in black will draw more attention than one in white or ivory. You have to be prepared for that.

I think the bride can still care about the IMPORTANT etiquette and still wear a trendy gown. There are some bits of etiquette that I'm all for ignoring - the dress color being one of those - not my hill to die on.

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I really don't see what the color of a wedding dress has to do with etiquette. It's a (recent) tradition, sure, but it's not a matter for etiquette. Invitations, place settings, showers, ceremony seating, those are all matters for etiquette. Black wedding dresses are just fashion choices. Just like it's got nothing to do with etiquette if a bride wears a pink dress or a short dress or even puts on shorts and a tshirt to get married at the courthouse.

Anyway, two of the dresses they show are hardly black. They're more brown, if you ask me.

ETA: Jung Lee might be surprised in 20 years or so when brides are wearing all kinds of colors on their wedding days. There's a lot more variety now than there was when I was a kid. In another 20 years, white wedding dresses may well be seen as old fashioned and ridiculously frumpy.

Vera's dresses this season range from tans to blacks, with a pretty wide range of browns in between. As for the etiquette issue, the writer has a nice, big, spikey stick inserted somewhere to have written that drivel. Recent tradition dictates that a bride in Western society wears white; etiquette does not. Someone needs to go back to etiquette school.

I really don't see what the color of a wedding dress has to do with etiquette. It's a (recent) tradition, sure, but it's not a matter for etiquette. Invitations, place settings, showers, ceremony seating, those are all matters for etiquette. Black wedding dresses are just fashion choices. Just like it's got nothing to do with etiquette if a bride wears a pink dress or a short dress or even puts on shorts and a tshirt to get married at the courthouse.

Anyway, two of the dresses they show are hardly black. They're more brown, if you ask me.

Yeah, I'm not clear either that a black wedding dress breaks any etiquette rules. There's a superstition against it, I think, but that's not the same thing. The only etiquette rule involving black attire is that guests should not show up appearing to be in mourning.

I plan on wearing a red gown. I am not Chinese. I just love red and look horrid in white. I have never dreamed of wearing a big white dress, or even the big wedding, but I've known since I was a tween I would someday wear a red gown to get married in.

Some people I've mentioned this to this its cool. Some are visibly (and some verbally ) appalled at the very notion.

I personally think a black gown is too mundane to wear as a wedding gown. Black, IMO, is a guest color, not a stand out color. But its certainly not an etiquette blunder.

Etiquette? Etiquette is treating your guests well, not the color of your dress. Women wear the little black dress to feel glamorous and sexy to festive occasions and I see nothing wrong with a black wedding dress.

A black wedding dress reminds me of Laura Ingalls Wilder. Her mother, who was always concerned about being correct and ladylike, expressed concern about superstition but didn't say a word about black breaking any etiquette rules.

Wearing white is a tradition, not etiquette, and I believe that the tradition started as a fashion fad. As all fashion statements, one does not have to partake. I certainly have no intention of wearing white and it would be ridiculous to think that I would somehow be being rude to not wear a particular colour.

I need to do some searching to confirm this, but it's my understanding that other cultures use white for mourning and other colors for wedding. Assuming Vera Wang designs for the world - and not just the Unites States - I fail to see how black wedding dresses are for the bride that does not care about etiquette.

Also, how on earth is the color of the dress tied to etiquette? IIRC, white wedding dresses became fashionable about 100 years ago.

I need to do some searching to confirm this, but it's my understanding that other cultures use white for mourning and other colors for wedding. Assuming Vera Wang designs for the world - and not just the Unites States - I fail to see how black wedding dresses are for the bride that does not care about etiquette.

Also, how on earth is the color of the dress tied to etiquette? IIRC, white wedding dresses became fashionable about 100 years ago.

They do. Mine is one of them.

Mother wore white for her wedding years ago, but she was considered quite the rebel - she also had a short haircut! If she had had a 'proper' traditional wedding it would have been black or dark colours. No one ever wore white because that was what the dead were dressed in for the funeral. Nowadays it is common to skip the tradition and have a trendy wedding with a white dress.

So I guess it has come full-circle. If I want to rebel, I have to wear black!

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You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

The bride who chooses the black dress does not care about etiquette,” said Jung Lee, a founder of Fête, an event-planning company in Manhattan. Ms. Lee advises brides on the intricacies of everything from invitations to attire. “That’s not to say she doesn’t have manners,” she said, “but it’s certainly not etiquette. My advice is that she really think about it, and not just in the short term. Think how the pictures would look 10, 20 years from now. A bride in black will draw more attention than one in white or ivory. You have to be prepared for that.

I don't know much about Vera Wang, and less about Jung Lee; but it sounds like she was trying to differentiate between etiquette and manners, which makes me think she's got a different (older? i don't know) definition of etiquette.

I think the dresses are pretty.

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