A Bit About Me

Along with my daily duties as founder and head writer of HumorMeOnline.com, in 2003, I took the Grand Prize in the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (also known as the "It Was a Dark and Stormy Night" competition). I've also been a contributor to "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson" and the web's "The Late Show with David Letterman". I also occupy my time writing three blogs, "Blogged Down at the Moment", "Brit Word of the Day" and "Production Numbers"...and my off-time is spent contemplating in an "on again/off again" fashion...my feable attempts at writing any one of a dozen books. I would love to write professionally one day...and by that I mean "actually get a paycheck".

07 September 2009

"They're dead, Jim."

I did some Google "research" - someone (who, undoubtedly has been to more than one "Star Trek" convention) counted all the times Dr. McCoy on "Star Trek" uttered the immortal words "He's/She's Dead, Jim". The body count? Twenty-nine times...and only two were women. I am not going to dispute or double-check this figure...it serves no real purpose except to be an intro to what I really want to talk about: TV death.

Not the fictitious type of death - no characters dying here...unless we count 'character actors'...but real, bona fide death. It seems, save for the odd show...like "The Brady Bunch" - and even then the "dad" died a while back...nearly all the shows I grew up with as a kid...the whole cast is dead...or at least a great portion of them.

And it's getting me scared.

Take "Bewitched" for instance. I grew up many years watching that. They're all gone. Well, I'm not counting Tabitha and Adam...I mean...they were kids, so they don't count. But both Darrins; Endora; Larry Tate; his wife, Louise; all the aunts; Gladys, the nosy neighbour (they had to replace the first one halfway through as she DIED); her husband, Abner; and sweet Samantha herself. All gone - and some gone a while. The only one who is still alive looked to be the oldest cast member at the time...who, amazingly, still looks pretty much the same as he did then: "Dr. Bombay". Yes, Bernard Fox is the only member of the adult cast still breathing. It's very sad. It's not like they were OLD OLD back in the 60s - but now...they're all gone.

I bet you would be hard pressed to find a show I watched as a child...that doesn't have at least one principle actor/actress already dead. Again, I'm talking shows I watched in the late 60s/early 70s. All head shakes and eye rolls aside...that time period wasn't THAT long ago. It's just NOT fair.

And when I watched - I was watching those shows first-hand...not on some TVLand channel...so I grew up with them...and they are, one by one, taking those final curtain bows. It's just NOT fair. These aren't from the 30s, 40s, and 50s. And I can't help but come to the logical conclusion that my "conclusion" isn't too far off as well...and,well, that sucks.

Sure, some actors and actresses live for many, many years...and I'm hoping I'll see those die, too.

Oh...that came out wrong...but, you know what I mean - if I see them go first...well, then I'm still alive. And isn't that the way this "game" goes? Try to remain the longest IN the "game".

I also can't shake this feeling that we should really be able to live much, much longer. And being made of something less impervious to outside forces...and inside forces; yes, that would be much, much better, too...at least from where I sit...on my sofa - staring at the tube, watching old re-runs which were the shows of my day in my youth. My laptop open to the IMDb site - basically tallying up figures...and there's way too many figures in the "deficit" column...and not many left in the black.

Eventually, if I live long enough, they will all be gone...all the shows I grew up with...their television characters still carrying on, still getting into wacky predicaments, still saying (and now catching up to) those long-dead catch phrases, and still breaking those 1970s barriers which look prehistoric now in comparison.

Ironically, the show I opened this blog with, "Star Trek", still has the majority of their crew alive and kicking. Go figure. I didn't watch that show. Hmmmm... Soooo, between you and me...it might not be in anyone's best interest to let another crew, "The Love Boat" gang...know that I never missed an episode.

I did specifically think of "Happy Days" when I wrote this - and yes, there are some casts which are still around. But it's just so sad and so mortifying when you see them up on the screen so alive and now they are so absolutely dead.

I originally was going to make this about old films, but I was watching an old "Honeymooners" episode on some channel last nite which made me just go in the "TV line" of thought...and when I do that - I always think of poor "Bewitched"...what did they ever do that was so bad that every single one of them (mostly) is dead??