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Texas Chainsaw 3D Movie Review

Michael Christian January 5, 2013

Ok so first off everyone bashing this movie needs to chill. Here are the reasons it was a good horror movie and if you have any objections, I would be more than happy to hear them. Here are my 5 reasons that Texas Chainsaw 3D was worth seeing.

1. First off, you need to appreciate the risk this writer took on. Before you get all angry at my first point, let me explain. I don’t mean risk “financially” because we all know releasing a movie with the title “Texas Chainsaw 3D” has zero financial risk. Fact of the matter is, if you release a remake of this magnitude, people will see it and you will make money.

The risk I’m speaking of is the risk of having people get very angry with you and speaking for myself, I am not angry at all.

2. Everyone complains that re-makes tarnish the original and we should all know by now that this just isn’t true. When Rob Zombie released “Halloween,” people were pissed off. Like really pissed off. Next, “Friday the 13th” was remade.

And once again, people were pissed off. Same with “Nightmare on Elm Street,” and same with “Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003).” Now let’s all assume those remakes were terrible, and in my opinion only a few of those were. Does that mean that all of the originals were ruined? I’m sorry but I haven’t met one person who doesn’t watch the originals anymore because they claim the remake ruined it. So let’s stop being so critical and start thinking logically. Re-makes DO NOT ruin originals although most remakes are actually pretty bad.

3. Many people commented that this movie was silly and corny. That could be the most ridiculous complaint I have read so far. This comment seems to come up every time a new horror movie is made and it consistently gets me angry. “Trick or treat mother fucker (Halloween Resurrection),” “Pancakes? No kid. No pancakes! (Cabin Fever).” I could go on but quite frankly I would rather just get to the point.

Many people will say, “Oh well you are only speaking about recent horror movies, and those are all bad ones.” Well how about we look at a movie you all claim is a “classic.” “Return of the Living Dead II” is the corniest movie ever made and yet people call it art. You can’t tell me that the when the zombie head starting speaking with a southern accent that it wasn’t over the top silly. Mars Attacks, classic movie, yet insanely corny.

I mean the girls head on the dog kissing the other guys head as they died. Give me a break. Great movie none the less. I believe it was “Halloween 4” when the cops walk away from the house with clown music playing in the background out of nowhere. And now for my final example, let’s take the original “Texas Chainsaw Massacre.”

What is with that fat bastard in the wheelchair making fart noises with his mouth complaining like some kind of animal as he entered the house with his sister’s friends upstairs having fun? That wasn’t silly? That wasn’t stupid? No it was “classic.” That is no different from the chick from the show “Lost” in “Texas Chainsaw 3D” muttering the words, “Welcome to Texas motherfucker!” Fact of the matter is, 80’s movies are corny and that is one of the reasons we love them.

4. My final and most important point yet, horror movies are meant to entertain. This movie is very entertaining. The 3D does not give you a headache because it is Real 3D. The acting is poor, but sorry to those who are new to horror genre, that it how acting in horror movies usually is.

They used simple techniques to pay tribute to the original, zooming in on people as they walk away, the freezer, the armadillo, and the main character falling at times for no reason. And for those “SAW” fans out there, you had to love that they included the lady in the pig mask and jigsaw robe at the carnival, not to mention the very SAW-style ending.

The movie wasn’t amazing but it was fun and entertaining. I did not say this movie was great but to say it was terrible and then call movies like “Return of the Living Dead II” a classic when people clearly stick their fingers in a southern speaking zombie head is absurd.

Note: This review was contributed by one of our readers and it was a great outlook so we promoted it so all of you could read it.

Halloween 5 was the movie with the clown music…very well said and I for one will see this film and appreciate it.Horror fans get very bent out of shape over one liners and such..but Freddy has been muttering them since 1984 so… I say take teh good with the bad and enjoy the genre.

Thanks for this post! I hadn’t seen that many good opinions on this movie, so this was a good read. I am interested in seeing it, but I think I’m going to end up waiting for it to be out on DVD. I’m planning to add it to my Blockbuster@Home queue through my DISH account instead. That way, when it comes out on video it’ll just show up at my apartment and I won’t have to go out of my way to seek it out. Plus, when I’m done watching it, I can drop it off at the Blockbuster store down the street from my apartment and pick up the next movie in my queue.

Herner KlenthurJanuary 6, 2013 at 2:02 am

you dont work for Blockbuster do you? Cause that is one hell of a plug for BlockBuster.

It’s pretty simple for me, If I don’t like the idea of a remake or a sequel or a re-imagining or whatever, then I just don’t watch it…..The classics are still classics and people are gonna fuck with them until the end of time as long as some money can be made.

I enjoy getting the opportunity to see my favorite characters come back in new movies on the big screen. Sometimes I like the movies, and sometimes I don’t. But hey it is what it is and everyone looks at the “legacy” of these films and characters differently…

I’m a horror fan. Always have been and always will be. I’ll take the good with the bad as long as the movies are still getting made for me to potentially enjoy….