"Let no freedom be allowed to novelty, because it is not fitting that any addition should be made to antiquity. Let not the clear faith and belief of our forefathers be fouled by any muddy admixture."
-- Pope Sixtus III

Friday, May 25, 2012

Sorry to break this to you, single men, but it is possible to be too
nice. And if you’re reading this article, you’ve probably fallen into
the trap of following all the rules — you wined and dined her, asked her
questions, called the next day — but still didn’t win her heart. What
gives? “Women like a nice guy at first,” says Dr. Robert Glover, author of No More Mr. Nice Guy.
But niceness can also be seen as weakness — and that’s a major turn-off
for most women. So how do you show a date that you’re genuinely
interested in her without going overboard? We asked Dr. Glover and
single men and women for some pointers that should help even the meekest
man make a stronger statement during dates.

DO take charge
“Dating is like a dance: If you don’t take the lead, she has to,” Dr.
Glover says. “Most women don’t want to be in charge.” Asking her out is a
big step, but it’s not enough. Dr. Glover suggests having a particular
day and plan already picked out in advance: “Asking her to go out
sometime leaves too many details to be determined. Instead, ask her to
meet you for drinks on Tuesday.” That way, all she has to decide is
whether or not she’s free that night.

DO disagree with her
“Nothing irritates me more than someone who agrees with everything I
say, even when I can tell he has another opinion,” says Theresa M. from
Washington, D.C. “If I wanted to hear my thoughts on a subject, I would
just talk to myself. I want a guy who will challenge me.” By avoiding
conflict with your date, you may as well be wearing a big sign that
says, I’m a pushover! If you don’t see eye-to-eye with her, say so.

DO tease her a little
You won’t ever find a woman who doesn’t like a man who’s funny. So go
ahead and let your sarcasm streak or dry sense of humor shine — just
make sure to do it playfully. Sean, 35, from New York City,
attests to the power of this move: “I used some playful teasing on my
last date — I told her, ‘Your head isn’t nearly as large as it looks on
your profile’ — and we were able to use all that built-in first-date
tension to our advantage.” By carrying yourself this way, you’ll look
confident — which, by the way, is a turn-on for everyone.
DO talk about yourself
Don’t ramble on about your own life constantly, but mentioning things
here and there is a good way to make sure your date doesn’t feel like
she’s interrogating you. Instead, ask her where she was born; then, when
she’s done answering you, drop a few relevant details about your life.
“Everything was always about me with this one guy I dated. It was so
annoying,” says Alina from Chicago. “There’s no way I’m that
interesting! I kept waiting for him to tell me something.”

DON’T plan elaborate dates
“The first two or three dates should be simple, casual coffee-type
meetings. You should pay for them, but they should be cheap,” says Dr.
Glover. Do the opposite, and you just look like you’re trying too hard,
says Marissa from Johnson City, TN. “A guy bought concert tickets for a
band I had mentioned in passing,” she explains. “He spent way
too much money. It was shocking, and I felt like I owed him something
afterward.” Clearly, these are not good feelings to build a relationship
on.

DON’T compliment your date too much
“An ex-boyfriend gave me compliments all the time,” says Rachel from
Harrisonburg, VA. “It got to the point that I didn’t believe him
anymore, and I figured he said those things to every woman he dated.”
Seeming insincere is bad, but it can get even worse: “She’ll like it at
first, but persistent flattery will start to spook her in some way,”
says Dr. Glover. Forget the usual flood of flattery, then, and show her
you care by the occasional compliment from the heart — and by being
reliable.

DON’T try to speed up the relationship
After a great date, you may feel compelled to ask her out again — right then and there — for the next night… and the weekend after,
too. Go slowly — don’t overwhelm a woman with attention. Dr. Glover
suggests you only see each other once a week (at most) at the start of a
new relationship. If you seem too eager, you’ll look needy and
available for most women. “After a second date, this guy wanted to spend
all of his time with me,” says Caroline, 28, from Los Angeles. “I
started to wonder if he had his own life, but I didn’t want to stick
around to find out.” So to avoid that fate, pace yourself, enjoy the
anticipation — and let things unfold slowly and steadily.

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About Me

First of all, the word is SEX, not GENDER. If you are ever tempted to use the word GENDER, don't. The word is SEX! SEX! SEX! SEX! For example: "My sex is male." is correct.
"My gender is male." means nothing. Look it up.
What kind of sick neo-Puritan nonsense is this? Idiot left-fascists, get your blood-soaked paws off the English language. Hence I am choosing "male" under protest.