Please, please tell me that just because Tyra Banks is making the new cycle of ANTM about HIGH FASHION she’s not going to stop being completely cheeseballs bonkers. It’s really become her defining characteristic, that is – aside from her convenient compassion-slash-exploitation methods of operation.

Tyra Banks has decided to make this cycle of America’s Next Top Model all about high fashion. I suspect this was a decision influenced by new judge addition, Andre Leon Talley of Vogue. (Who was visibly absent for the first judging of cycle 15.)

The new prize for ANTM includes a cover of Italian Vogue and a contract with IMG models. What the whaaat? I mean, first Project Runway changes from a Bluefly accessories wall to Piperlime, and now this? THIS IS TOO MUCH CHANGE AND STRESS IN MY LIFE! It’s like the TV shows in my life don’t even care about my blood pressure!

Drama has already begun in spades, with girls picking up the tiniest bit of nothing, and making it into a big hokin’ (racist! y/n?) deal. There was secret diary reading, rumors were started, and tears were shed by the gallon. All in the name of fashion. And I didn’t even get to mention the fashion yet. We saw some nice Cynthia Rowley designs – and she was also in the episode. (They don’t deserve her!)

This cycle of ANTM has an orthodox Jew (who was quick to say she’d throw away her religious beliefs to be on the show) in Ester, a model so skinny it can’t be healthy even if her metabolism is just really high in Ann, a girl who wore glasses the entire time because without them she looks aged about 20 years (ahem, Kayce), a girl who can pose like any tree (she’s fantastic, and probably my favorite – Rhianna), and no plus sized girls at all – because Tyra doesn’t seem to think they can be high fashion. Every other cycle has at least had a plus-sized girl in the running before the cut. But not this time. Inteeeeresting. The thing is, as true as it is, you’d never get Tyra Banks to out-and-out admit that’s the truth. She doesn’t like to own up to things.