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the real Jaded

I've been rationing them the past two weeks and I could already feel the difference in not taking them. Unless that was just my brain playing tricks on me, which is possible, to be honest. Either way I was not looking forward to being completely out >.<

MIL asked me if I really had so much anxiety that I needed them. That I'd been here 5 years, so my anxietey from before here stuff should be gone. My brain is trying to tell me she was being rude, but I think maybe she wasn't, she was just really curious why I needed them when there isn't a whole lot of anxiety things here. That was a weird conversation.

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are they as-needed or are you supposed to take them every day? You probably know this but just in case you don't, not taking daily meds every day like you're supposed to can REALLY screw with your mental health stuff.

I think it really depends on her tone if it was rude or not. It could have been a genuine question combined with ignorance about how anxiety works, or yeah it could have been bitchy. Some people just don't know that PTSD and/or anxiety don't just go away.

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The real themildone

are they as-needed or are you supposed to take them every day? You probably know this but just in case you don't, not taking daily meds every day like you're supposed to can REALLY screw with your mental health stuff.

I think it really depends on her tone if it was rude or not. It could have been a genuine question combined with ignorance about how anxiety works, or yeah it could have been bitchy. Some people just don't know that PTSD and/or anxiety don't just go away.

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They're daily, I know I'm not supposed to up and quit them. (I've been trying to rewrie that so it didn't sound snippy (to me) but it wasn't working so instead I'm just adding this disclaimer that it wasn't meant to sound snippy.) I really didn't want to but I also really, really didn't wanna borrow any more money from fiance. I know he doesn't care, in fact I think he cares more that I consider it 'borrowing' but...

Idk I got distracted somewhere in the middle of my sentence and now I don't know what I was gonna say.

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the real Jaded

Boyfriend was supposed to have his pretrial today. He still hadn't heard from his public defender in the 43 days he's been in jail. Guards came to get some other people for court and told my boyfriend his had been cancelled. Still no word from the lawyer. He's written her two letters, no replies. I looked online and saw that his trial date has now been changed from 6/7 to 7/12. How is this even fucking legal? It makes zero fucking sense that he isn't being given any kind of information or counsel. I'm so fucking mad. The ONLY good thing about this is that each day he's serving now counts as 2 days towards his overall sentencing.

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The real themildone

Boyfriend was supposed to have his pretrial today. He still hadn't heard from his public defender in the 43 days he's been in jail. Guards came to get some other people for court and told my boyfriend his had been cancelled. Still no word from the lawyer. He's written her two letters, no replies. I looked online and saw that his trial date has now been changed from 6/7 to 7/12. How is this even fucking legal? It makes zero fucking sense that he isn't being given any kind of information or counsel. I'm so fucking mad. The ONLY good thing about this is that each day he's serving now counts as 2 days towards his overall sentencing.

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Skynet Aide

Boyfriend was supposed to have his pretrial today. He still hadn't heard from his public defender in the 43 days he's been in jail. Guards came to get some other people for court and told my boyfriend his had been cancelled. Still no word from the lawyer. He's written her two letters, no replies. I looked online and saw that his trial date has now been changed from 6/7 to 7/12. How is this even fucking legal? It makes zero fucking sense that he isn't being given any kind of information or counsel. I'm so fucking mad. The ONLY good thing about this is that each day he's serving now counts as 2 days towards his overall sentencing.

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That's so horrible. Thank goodness for the internet where you at least could look up the new trial date. It would drive me crazy not knowing what's going on.

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wut?

Boyfriend was supposed to have his pretrial today. He still hadn't heard from his public defender in the 43 days he's been in jail. Guards came to get some other people for court and told my boyfriend his had been cancelled. Still no word from the lawyer. He's written her two letters, no replies. I looked online and saw that his trial date has now been changed from 6/7 to 7/12. How is this even fucking legal? It makes zero fucking sense that he isn't being given any kind of information or counsel. I'm so fucking mad. The ONLY good thing about this is that each day he's serving now counts as 2 days towards his overall sentencing.

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wut?

i hate the irrationality of love. i still love that stupid man and think about him every day. but as the good ol' country song says, "it don't hurt like it used to"

i think i've mastered loneliness fairly well, i have friends. sometimes I see situations and think hey, it's really easier that i'm single, cool! but i always miss the intimacy, the knowing everything about someone, having someone to make you dinner and give you a hug at the end of the day. someone to look at dream houses with and talk about our future. that's a huge chunk of existence. I really am okay, I wouldn't even call myself depressed anymore, just severe melancholy.

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the real Jaded

bad evening. pretty sure i'm gonna end the day by having a full-blown panic attack because I can already feel the pressure in my chest and having trouble catching my breath. I miss him so fucking much.

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The real themildone

bad evening. pretty sure i'm gonna end the day by having a full-blown panic attack because I can already feel the pressure in my chest and having trouble catching my breath. I miss him so fucking much.

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Real Southern Comfort

i have the problem of never feeling like i’ll be enough for someone. in my delusional mind i keep telling myself i need a newer car, i need to fix two teeth (which probably are not even that bad), that i need to make a certain amount of money a year, etc in order for someone to like me

i don’t know the core reason of why my ex left and i never will. but for the last year and more i feel like i have a never ending hill to climb in my mind in order for myself and others to appreciate me

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Curiouser and curiouser

i have the problem of never feeling like i’ll be enough for someone. in my delusional mind i keep telling myself i need a newer car, i need to fix two teeth (which probably are not even that bad), that i need to make a certain amount of money a year, etc in order for someone to like me

i don’t know the core reason of why my ex left and i never will. but for the last year and more i feel like i have a never ending hill to climb in my mind in order for myself and others to appreciate me

i don’t know what that says about me

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Instead of worrying about external things, I’d say you need to work on yourself before jumping back into the dating pool. It is okay to be single, you know. If you aren’t happy single, being in a relationship isn’t going to fix that. It’s easier to address the external factors, so that’s what we tend to focus on. I know I’ve neen guilty of that too. It’s much more difficult to take a long, hard look at yourself.

I’m not speaking for all women, but most I know are less concerned with what car you drive and more concerned with how you treat people, your sense of humor, how you project yourself, your intelligence, etc.

Just my two cents. Take it or leave it.

Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter could be said to remedy anything.​

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Curiouser and curiouser

bad evening. pretty sure i'm gonna end the day by having a full-blown panic attack because I can already feel the pressure in my chest and having trouble catching my breath. I miss him so fucking much.

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I’m sorry you’re dealing with all this shit and hope you get some good news soon. You deserve it.

Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter could be said to remedy anything.​

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Curiouser and curiouser

oh thank jesus, I scrunched up enough money between turking and babysitting to get my pills this month. >.> Was kinda stupid to pay t axes with ALL my money instead of just borrowing from someone.

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Yay I’m glad you were able to get them! And I’m in the same boat since I paid 4K out of pocket for taxes so I’ve definitely had to scrounge for my medical expenses too. It’s not fun worrying about whether you can afford basic healthcare. If only marshmallows fixed everything.

Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter could be said to remedy anything.​

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wut?

i have the problem of never feeling like i’ll be enough for someone. in my delusional mind i keep telling myself i need a newer car, i need to fix two teeth (which probably are not even that bad), that i need to make a certain amount of money a year, etc in order for someone to like me

i don’t know the core reason of why my ex left and i never will. but for the last year and more i feel like i have a never ending hill to climb in my mind in order for myself and others to appreciate me

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Yarn Hoarder

bad evening. pretty sure i'm gonna end the day by having a full-blown panic attack because I can already feel the pressure in my chest and having trouble catching my breath. I miss him so fucking much.