Thursday, March 29, 2012

Indents in my pillows.

On Monday night, I made the 500 mile drive to my foggy hometown.
A few of my friends worried that I'd fall asleep at the wheel (having witnessed my minor narcoleptic tendencies throughout our friendships), but I made it home safe and sound. Thank goodness for my ill-constructed sleeping schedule, which always keeps me awake through the late hours of the night for no apparent reason at all.

Being home has been wonderful. My parents welcomed me home with such warmth. I had forgotten how lovely it is to spend time with them. Aside from the heated table and endless homemade sushi, I really have been simply enjoying their company. They also seem to be more understanding about school--unfortunately, I can't tell if they're truly happy for the changes I have made or if they have given up hope and now have zero expectations of me. Most likely the latter, which sucks. But at least they have accepted the fact and now all I have left to do is live out this life the way I want to. Hopefully something I chance upon in the future will make them proud of me.

Jell-O flan requires minimal body energy to make!

At this very moment, as I carry scoop after scoop of the delicious flan I just made into my mouth, I am comfortable. I am happy to be here. But I'm also happy that in a few days I start school again. I'm excited to power through another quarter of school and prove myself of my capabilities as a student and a human being.
In a perfect world, I would then leave the country for a short while after this school year ends. I feel that I've been sitting within the boundaries of my comfort zone for too long. I've gotten to know this version of myself too well. My life, albeit fun and cozy, has been a little bit routine and lacking in spontaneity. I want to throw myself out somewhere and experience new things, learn more about myself and grow a bit more.
Me, me, me, me, me, I love me. Lately I feel a little self-centered and pretty spoiled.
But honestly, I think it's about damn time I started looking after myself. YOLO.

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"We pass through the present with our eyes blindfolded. We are permitted merely to sense and guess at what we are actually experiencing. Only later when the cloth is untied can we glance at the past and find out what we have experienced and what meaning it has." --Milan Kundera