Blog

Every once in a while, we ask ourselves, or God, or a therapist, or a piece of paper, "What about MY dreams?" I had the dream a long time ago that I would one day make a "record" (LP's, back in the day). I did achieve that dream, and I was absolutely amazed and grateful to those who had helped, and especially proud of myself for having kept my nose to the grindstone long enough to achieve some success musically.

I never did have the dream that I would become mentally ill, but that happened. There were people to help me back up from the stinking dungeon of depression.

I never had the dream that I would spend my life with someone (in fact, I was sure that I never wanted to) until love happened and that person was there and I wanted to share my life. Of course, when people do share their lives, they share the good stuff - the light, the sun, the moon, the kisses and eventually they must share the crappy, deep, dark, hurts and pains.

I never thought that I would have children,(in fact, I was sure that I never wanted to) but there was my love, the love of my life, my very best friend, who did have the dream of children. I prayed and prayed and we had our first child and my God, I will never be the same. I might have gone my whole life without experiencing the most awesome love which is that of a mother for her child.

One of the heaviest mental hurdles I have ever had to face has to do with physical pain. I've been trying to recover from neck, back and shoulder injuries from work, and have had small lengths of stability, followed by more and more intense pain.

Physical pain becomes a major contributor to depression and hopelessness. Add in the feelings of not belonging anywhere after divorce and one can feel combustible, on the brink of implosion and the sense that the slightest amount of friction will be the ignited fuse.

This is not merely analogy. This is what life has been for a couple of weeks (the brink of implosion part). For roughly two years I have been swinging from uselessness to self-loathing, to mild contentment, to all of the various phases of grief and now, most recently, agitation and irritability (which I believe I have peri-menopause to thank).

It is the great love that I have for my children that has kept me going and I thank God for such beauty.

We hope you will join in the fun as we celebrate Family, Friends and Great Music.

Come enjoy 6 acoustic artists in a quiet park setting. We have so manytalented musicians in our city, let us introduce you to a few!

JOSH DAMIGO - SAN DIEGO MUSIC AWARD WINNER www.myspace.com/joshdamigo

LISA CAMPBELL - ME www.lisacampbellmusic.com

KIRK CUMMING - LOVE JANIS NATIONAL TOUR.

MARY DOLAN- OPENED FOR ANI DiFRANCO- www.marydolan.com

JEFF BERKLEY - SAN DIEGO MUSIC AWARD WINNER -www.berkleyhart.com

AARON BOWEN - SINGER/SONGWRITER PRODUCER www.myspace.com/aaron bowen

Casual attire ( a jacket in case it's a bit chilly). Chairs will already be set up in the park amphitheater.

$20 per person. All kids 20 and under free.

I can't provide/sell alcohol but you are welcome to bring whateveryou'd like to the park; (be careful with glass,it's not allowed inparks). If you get hungry, The local pizza guy will be selling slicesof pizza, water, and soft drinks.

It'll be good to see everyone together! Please forward to Family and Friends. We are hoping for a huge turnout. - Lisa Campbell

Carmel Valley Park and Rec

3777 Townsgate Dr

San Diego, CA 92130 US

SATURDAY, June 26, 7-9pm

I'll be playing once again at one of my favorite spots in OB and inviting some special guests to sing/play along.

I came to library to work in a quiet, cerebral environment. I trulybelieve in the free exchange of thought, idea, and philosophy so thelibrary was a natural choice for me. I have enjoyed witnessing theseekers of knowledge come through our doors and find answers to theirmany and varied questions.

But tonight, we have BINGO. BINGO?! Yep, and with prizes too! Inbetween games we'll be showing folks how to play Wii games as well. Yousee, the library has become more a community center, movie & musicloan, entertainment zone, arcade and Internet cafe (without the coffee,though I expect that will be coming eventually).

There are still the seekers, and I am greatly pleased that we are ableto point people in the direction of job searches and resume creation inthese hard economic times. But these things have taken a back seat tothe trend toward an atmosphere of common consumerism. Our goal today isto increase our stats - get more people in the door, participating inprograms, checking out materials.

I understand that an increase in these numbers helps to justify thelibrary's presence to the powers that fund it, and that it will help usall in the library system to keep our jobs.

But what happens to the poor schlubs like me who came to the librarybecause they believed in the importance of a space to think, learn andgrow? What do we do when it hurts too much to see what's happening, yethave nowhere else to work where we really belong?

I am hoping and praying that for me the answer will be in a transfer tocataloging, where I can quietly process incoming materials, stumbleupon goodness and pass the info on to seekers like myself.