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Sunday, September 27, 2015

Hey Peanut!

Hello Kid,

So basically it's Daughter's Day and I thought of writing on my blog after quite a break, just to let you know you're an A-okay type of kid. Ha ha. Kidding. You're the best, Peanut. Let me tell you why:

- You're the first born and therefore you're always going to be special. And that's that. No matter how much you think your brothers get favoured - for both me and your dad, it's you all the way. ( Can you please remind me to take this post down when your brothers get on the internet?)

- Oh yeah, that reminds me. Till now, these Dear Peanut kind of posts were meant to be futuristic 'some day she will grow up and read this' types. But now you're already online, and we've even got you your own private blog. Isn't that awesome? For posterity, here's one of your first posts on this public blog, describing our family in a post aptly titled ''Welcome to the Madhouse''

Anyone wants to have a visit anywhere??? If yes then do not pick us!!! Even though we have a great number of mattresses I will have to introduce the MADHOUSE! First I will begin with Dad. Dad is ok type. But he is crazy about food especially Pharatas. He is always with Papa ji. Next is mum. She is good at teaching Zumba but beware she does have her limits! After Mum is ME! As you might see I am pretty impatient with my brothers especially Papadi chatu. I get along with Pickle alright. I am a bit fussy on food like Mister Dadulal Sharma. As for the DTTT They are gigantic fusspots on TV, Clothes and shoes. Those 2 should be warriors. As for K didi she must be pleased with god for giving her such a voice. She mostly goes like this "Onushka cupboard sae nickle jaw. Pickle jaldi khana khaw. Papad aapka school ka kitab yaha kyu gira he? Isko jaldi sae uthaov" After her is A aunty she cooks food for us. But she also enjoys screaming as much as K didi. Next comes L didi. She is mostly very quiet but I think she keeps a record how much everyone in the family eats. Last but not the least is Papa ji who I think is the best of the lot. And now I just introduced you to the MADHOUSE!!!

PS Next blog is going to be awesome so do not miss it!!!- Nicely done, Peanut. I like your PS, it's a teaser to keep your audience hooked. Anyway, so I was saying that you're turning out to be a very talented, amazing kind of support - there are many times that I ask you to help with your brother's homework and it's great to see the way in which you patiently (hahahahahaha) explain stuff to them until they hit you and all of you come crying to me as a reminder that I can't quite abdicate all responsibility on this front to you.

- Abdicate. That reminds me. Thanks a lot for teaching Pickle and Papad all sorts of words. It's thanks to you that they've started telling me things like ''It's too Complicated.'' For your information, Pickle even told me indignantly yesterday ''I DIDN'T put sketchpen marks in that storybook. You can check my BLOG if you want''. I asked him if he even knew what a blog is, and he said 'Yes, it's something you made for Peanut on the computer.' Close enough. But the point is, you're a sharp cookie and it's making your twin brothers pretty sharp too. Could I perhaps take this opportunity to request you to make fewer Potty Jokes?

- Jokes. You love jokes. You love riddles. It's amazing how much you love jokes, even if you don't understand them. You've been telling us (repeatedly) a few of the same ones, and the good news is now you actually have started understanding them. Some of your gems:

Peanut: Where does a mouse go when it's lost its tail?
Me: I Dunno.
Peanut: A retail store. Hahahahahaha.
Me: That's great. But why's that funny?
Peanut:I Dunno. That's what it said in the joke book.

And

Peanut: Why did the man throw the clock out of the window?
Me: To see time fly.
Peanut (shocked): Yeah. (Recovers) Hahahahahahaha.
Me: Okay, but why is that funny?
Peanut: Because (mumble mumble) Okay, but Mum, here's another joke...

And

Peanut: Which is the biggest letter in the alphabet?
Me: Dunno.
Peanut: The letter C.
Me: Eh? Why?
Peanut: It said because it contains the most water.
Me: (Realization dawns). Aaah. Okay. (Suspicious) Do you understand this riddle?
Peanut: Yeah because if you turn the C a bit then it becomes THIS shape (Makes a U-shape with her hand) and then you can pour water into it. (Beams)
Me: Uhhh...that's the letter U you just made, Peanut.
Peanut: So? (Realization dawns) ...Okay, so what does this riddle mean?

- I could go on, of course, but I really think I should stop here. The only last thing I'd like to do is share with the world your congratulatory email to Rinky about her marriage. I know you loved her and that she told you she'd come back ( she shouldn't have done that), but it's also not right to expect her to keep a promise never to marry. I know you understand that already and just hope you won't mind too much that I'm doing this but it really is too hilarious. Sorry, but I already put it up on Facebook and everyone says it's the cutest hate mail they've ever seen. By the way, I LOVE the colours you've used, you're a lot more creative with your emails than I am!

- I could resist - just went quickly through the blog archives and found this post from 3 years ago. Even back then, you were clearly smarter than me! Here's you solving the biggest question on my mind!

http://www.yashodharalal.com/2012/12/conversation-with-peanut.html

.....And these are only a few of the reasons that you're the most amazing daughter ever! I mean, of course -you're A-okay, kid.