Newspaper Page Text

8
THE
WADSWORTH
GAS
ATTACK
a
n
d
RIO
GRANDE
RATTLER
1TH1LBURT
JELLYBACK,
PRI­
VATE,
GOES
ON
GUARD.
A
L
e
tter
to
the
Editor.
D
ear
E
d
itor:
Do
you
recall
th
a
t
bitter
cold
Sunday
night—the
ninth*
I
think
it
was?
D
e
a
r
me,
the
w
e
a
ther
was
egregious!
And
I,
Ethel-
bu
rt
Jellyback,
Private,
was
forced
to
go
on
guard—I,
the
scion
of
one
of
the
first
fam
ilies
in
the
country,
of
gentle
breeding
and
im
­
pregnable
social
position.
Mind
you,
I
express
no
dislike
a
t
being
kept
up
a
t
all
hours
of
the
night.
Back
in
New
York
I
often
did
it
and
enjoyed
it,
w
h
a
t
w
ith
dinner
dances
th
a
t
lasted
until
breakfast,
and
not
infrequently
I
kept
Jam
es
w
a
iting
at
Delmonico’s
w
ith
the
lim
o
u
sine
until
dawn
came
over
the
roof-tops
of
the
g
iant
structures.
Isn’t
F
if
th
Avenue
won­
derful
at
dawn?
Dawn
and
reveille
are
one
and
the
same
thing,
in
point
of
tim
e,
and
yet
w
h
a
t
a
world
of
difference
between
them
!
T
h
ere
is
som
ething
lovely,
som
ething
th
a
t
appeals
to
my
soul
in
the
word
“dawn,”
but
as
for
“reveille,”—well,
as
I
started
to
tell
you,
dear
E
d
itor,
I
was
on
guard
th
a
t
coldest
of
all
cold
nights.
H
ad
to
Sleep
in
the
Guardhouse.
Fancy
my
exasperation
in
finding
th
a
t
I
had
to
sleep
in
the
guardhouse,
a
tent
im
­
properly
fortified
against
the
w
eather.
I
told
the
sergeant
of
the
guard
th
a
t
I
pre­
ferred
sleeping
in
my
own
tent,
and
th
a
t
as
far
as
my
being
accessible
whenever
he
wished
to
call
me,
I
would
be
w
illing
to
hire
a
messenger
boy
from
town
to
go
on
duty
all
night
and
to
carry
m
e
ssages
from
the
sergeant
a
t
the
guardhouse
to
me
at
my
tent.
But,
strange
to
say,
the
sergeant
de­
clined
to
accept
my
proposal.
It
w
a
sn’t
regulation,
he
said.
B
u
t
it
was
convenient,
you
m
u
st
adm
it
that.
Of
course,
my
guard
duty
began
w
ith
a
tw
o
-hour
pacing
of
my
post
in
the
afternoon.
It
was
a
lonely
two
hours,
and
I
am
not
fond
of
loneliness.
I
like
company.
Noth­
ing
appeals
to
me
so
much
as
to
sit
down
w
ith
another
dear
chappie
and
have
a
good
old
ch
a
t
for
two
or
three
hours.
I
t
’s
com­
panionable,
you
know.
The
Bewildered
Lady.
W
hile
w
a
lking
my.
post
a
lady,
who
looked
unhappy
and
bewildered,
got
out
of
an
auto­
mobile
and
came
up
to
me.
She
was
look­
ing
for
her
son,
she
said,
and
she
couldn’t
find
the
regim
e
n
t
he
was
in
or
the
com­
pany.
I
,
liked
the
well-bred
tones
of
her
voice,
and
my
sym
p
athies
w
e
n
t
out
to
her
a
t
once.
She
begged
me
to
go
in
search
of
her
son,
and
volunteered
to
w
atch
my
post
while
I
w
as
away.
I
went.
W
hen
I
came
back
the
officer
of
the
day
was
w
a
iting
for
me,
stern
and
denuncia­
tory.
In
no
uncertain
tones
he
rebuked
me
for
having
gone
on
my
altruistic
mission.
I
told
him
th
a
t
the
lady
had
been
very
insistent
th
a
t
I
find
her
son.
He
replied
th
a
t
th
a
t
had
nothing
to
do
w
ith
it.
I
re­
torted,
w
ith
my
usual
self-possession:
“Any
gentlem
an
would
give
up
his
post
to
a
lady.”
The
officer
of
the
day
w
e
n
t
away
m
u
tter-
■ng.
i
It
sounded
as
if
he
said
som
ething
about
being
“against
the
rule.”
But
a
by­
stander
said
his
words
were:
“The
damn
fool!”
Of
course,
the
bystander
didn’t
catch
his
words
correctly.
He
M
u
st
Have
His
Bath!
Going
back
to
the
guardhouse
th
a
t
even­
ing,
I
told
the
sergeant
th
a
t
I
desired
to
bathe.
He
wouldn’t
let
me
leave
the
guard­
house.
B
u
t
I
outw
itted
the
horrid
fellow.
I
have
one
of
those
little
cans
of
Sterno
canned-heat,
you
know,
w
ith
its
tripod,
and
over
this
I
heated
a
sufficient
am
o
u
n
t
of
w
a
ter
to
achieve
a
superficial
bath.
I
re­
moved
my
upper
garm
e
n
ts
and,
w
hile
the
other
men
in
the
guardhouse
sat
on
their
cots
looking
at
me
intently,
I
flipped
the
w
arm
drops
over
my
shoulders
and
torso.
The
men
openly
marvelled
a
t
my
courage,
bathing
in
such
weather.
B
u
t
I
realize
th
a
t
im
p
roving
all
sanitary
conditions
w
h
erever
possible
is
next
to
Godliness.
He
Denounces
the
Wind.
My
turns
on
guard
at
night
cam
e
from
10
p.
m.
to
mid-night,
and
from
4
a.
m.
to
6
a.
m.
W
h
a
t
untold
agony
I
suffered.
I
w
o
u
ldn’t
have
minded
it
so
much
if
I
hadn’t
been
betrayed
by
that
seductive
slogan
“The
Sunny
South,”
or
if
the
night
had
been
w
arm
and
moonlit,
for
then
I
could
have
passed
the
hours
composing
one
of
those
exquisite
little
poems
which
I
now
and
then
dash
off.
B
u
t
one
can’t
w
rite
poetry
w
ith
good
m
e
ter
and
regular
feet
when
one’s
own
feet
are
cold.
Tfie
wind—how
I
denounced
it!
It
had
none
of
those
soft,
gray
tones
such
as
one
hears
in
the
music
of
Chopin.
It
bit
and
cut,
and
the
blasts
were
ice-coated.
I
wore
my
W
inter
underw
ear,
two
O.
D.
shirts,
two
Bed
Cross
sw
eaters,
a
blouse,
and
an
overcoat.
But
even
then
I
was
rapidly
succum
bing
to
the
w
intry
elements,
had
it
not
been
for
a
unique
scheme
which
I
h
it
upon.
I
got
a
portable
oil
stove,
and,
grasping
it
by
the
handle,
I
carried
it
sw
inging
by
my
side
as
I
walked
my
post
in
m
ilitary
m
anner,
keeping
always
on
the
MAKE
THE
27TH
CHAMPION
OF
ALL
DIVISIONS.
By
Sergeant
Jam
e
s
W.
Beckman,
102d
U.
S.
Engineers.
To
be
a
champion
you
first
have
to
have
the
qualities
th
a
t
m
ake
a
champion.
Then
you
m
u
s
t
have
the
will
to
whip
those
qual­
ities
into
championship
shape
and
the
spirit
and
determ
ination
to
win.
The
27th
Division
has
all
the
qualities
th
a
t
m
ake
champions.
It
has
ju
s
t
as
keen
brains,
just
as
sound
bone,
and
just
as
lithe
and
powerful
muscle
as
any
other
arm
y
in
the
world.
These
raw
products
can
be
moulded
and
turned
and
ham
m
e
red
into
a
finished
product
th
a
t
will
eclipse
the
best
we
will
have
to
face.
The
responsibility
for
the
success
of
the
27th
Division,
so
far
as
you
are
concerned,
rests
squarely
upon
the
shoulders
of
one
man,
and
th
a
t
is
the
m
an
rig
h
t
under
your
own
hat.
The
Commanding
General
and
your
officers
can
plan
and
prescribe
regula­
tions
and
training
for
you,
but
unless
you
yourself
get
into
the
w
ork
w
ith
dead
earnestness
and
determ
ination
to
win,
you
will
simply
be
one
of
those
near
cham
p
ions
who
never
arrive.
Don’t
depend
altogether
upon
the
men
in
command
to
make
this
Division
the
greatest
in
the
world
w
ithout
your
fullest
support.
Take
the
m
e
asure
of
yourself,
or
the
Ger­
m
ans
will,
and
see
how
far
short
you
fall
from
doing
your
share.
W
hen
every
man
does
his
part,
the
officers
will
have
an
or­
ganization
which
can
not
be
shattered
by
how
itzers
or
hardships.
Let
this
be
the
slogan
of
every
m
an
in
the
Division:
MAKE
TH
E
27TH
T
H
E
CHAMPION
OF
ALL
DIVISIONS!
Then
stake
your
life
on
living
up
to
it,
or
you
will
likely
give
your
life
if
you
don’t.
alert
and
observing
th
a
t
the
stove
was
con­
stantly
burning.
He
Loses
the
Stove.
At
the
tim
e
the
stove
was
handed
to
m
e
by
a
thoughtful
fellow
-private,
who
said
he
w
anted
to
do
me
a
favor,
I
had
no
idea
th
a
t
it
w
a
sn’t
his
to
dispose
of.
W
h
a
t
was
my
surprise
to
be
confronted
by
the
officer
of
the
day
at
3:15
a.
m.,
dem
anding
w
h
a
t
in
hell
I
was
doing
w
ith
his
stove?
I
told
him
I
was
unaw
are
th
a
t
it
was
his.
H
e
then
took
it
aw
ay
from
me
and
gave
m
e
so
m
any
new
orders
th
a
t
they
perplexed
me
to
the
extent
of
my
forgetting
them
all.
And
I
am
said,
by
my
friends,
to
be
un­
usually
intellectual.
My
life
since
th
a
t
night
has
been
one
of
num
erous
punishm
ents.
Oh,
if
I
had
only
known
th
a
t
the
officer
of
the
day
was
going
to
come
bothering
me
like
that.
As
I
said
to
my
chum
and
tent-m
ate,
Dickie
darling,
w
h
a
t
business
has
an
officer
of
the
day
to
be
snooping
around
at
night?
Yours
truly,
ETHELBURT
JELLYBACK,
Pvt.
—C.
D.

Newspaper Page Text

8 THE WADSWORTH GAS ATTACK a n d RIO GRANDE RATTLER 1TH1LBURT JELLYBACK, PRI­ VATE, GOES ON GUARD. A L e tter to the Editor. D ear E d itor: Do you recall th a t bitter cold Sunday night—the ninth* I think it was? D e a r me, the w e a ther was egregious! And I, Ethel- bu rt Jellyback, Private, was forced to go on guard—I, the scion of one of the first fam ilies in the country, of gentle breeding and im ­ pregnable social position. Mind you, I express no dislike a t being kept up a t all hours of the night. Back in New York I often did it and enjoyed it, w h a t w ith dinner dances th a t lasted until breakfast, and not infrequently I kept Jam es w a iting at Delmonico’s w ith the lim o u sine until dawn came over the roof-tops of the g iant structures. Isn’t F if th Avenue won­ derful at dawn? Dawn and reveille are one and the same thing, in point of tim e, and yet w h a t a world of difference between them ! T h ere is som ething lovely, som ething th a t appeals to my soul in the word “dawn,” but as for “reveille,”—well, as I started to tell you, dear E d itor, I was on guard th a t coldest of all cold nights. H ad to Sleep in the Guardhouse. Fancy my exasperation in finding th a t I had to sleep in the guardhouse, a tent im ­ properly fortified against the w eather. I told the sergeant of the guard th a t I pre­ ferred sleeping in my own tent, and th a t as far as my being accessible whenever he wished to call me, I would be w illing to hire a messenger boy from town to go on duty all night and to carry m e ssages from the sergeant a t the guardhouse to me at my tent. But, strange to say, the sergeant de­ clined to accept my proposal. It w a sn’t regulation, he said. B u t it was convenient, you m u st adm it that. Of course, my guard duty began w ith a tw o -hour pacing of my post in the afternoon. It was a lonely two hours, and I am not fond of loneliness. I like company. Noth­ ing appeals to me so much as to sit down w ith another dear chappie and have a good old ch a t for two or three hours. I t ’s com­ panionable, you know. The Bewildered Lady. W hile w a lking my. post a lady, who looked unhappy and bewildered, got out of an auto­ mobile and came up to me. She was look­ ing for her son, she said, and she couldn’t find the regim e n t he was in or the com­ pany. I , liked the well-bred tones of her voice, and my sym p athies w e n t out to her a t once. She begged me to go in search of her son, and volunteered to w atch my post while I w as away. I went. W hen I came back the officer of the day was w a iting for me, stern and denuncia­ tory. In no uncertain tones he rebuked me for having gone on my altruistic mission. I told him th a t the lady had been very insistent th a t I find her son. He replied th a t th a t had nothing to do w ith it. I re­ torted, w ith my usual self-possession: “Any gentlem an would give up his post to a lady.” The officer of the day w e n t away m u tter- ■ng. i It sounded as if he said som ething about being “against the rule.” But a by­ stander said his words were: “The damn fool!” Of course, the bystander didn’t catch his words correctly. He M u st Have His Bath! Going back to the guardhouse th a t even­ ing, I told the sergeant th a t I desired to bathe. He wouldn’t let me leave the guard­ house. B u t I outw itted the horrid fellow. I have one of those little cans of Sterno canned-heat, you know, w ith its tripod, and over this I heated a sufficient am o u n t of w a ter to achieve a superficial bath. I re­ moved my upper garm e n ts and, w hile the other men in the guardhouse sat on their cots looking at me intently, I flipped the w arm drops over my shoulders and torso. The men openly marvelled a t my courage, bathing in such weather. B u t I realize th a t im p roving all sanitary conditions w h erever possible is next to Godliness. He Denounces the Wind. My turns on guard at night cam e from 10 p. m. to mid-night, and from 4 a. m. to 6 a. m. W h a t untold agony I suffered. I w o u ldn’t have minded it so much if I hadn’t been betrayed by that seductive slogan “The Sunny South,” or if the night had been w arm and moonlit, for then I could have passed the hours composing one of those exquisite little poems which I now and then dash off. B u t one can’t w rite poetry w ith good m e ter and regular feet when one’s own feet are cold. Tfie wind—how I denounced it! It had none of those soft, gray tones such as one hears in the music of Chopin. It bit and cut, and the blasts were ice-coated. I wore my W inter underw ear, two O. D. shirts, two Bed Cross sw eaters, a blouse, and an overcoat. But even then I was rapidly succum bing to the w intry elements, had it not been for a unique scheme which I h it upon. I got a portable oil stove, and, grasping it by the handle, I carried it sw inging by my side as I walked my post in m ilitary m anner, keeping always on the MAKE THE 27TH CHAMPION OF ALL DIVISIONS. By Sergeant Jam e s W. Beckman, 102d U. S. Engineers. To be a champion you first have to have the qualities th a t m ake a champion. Then you m u s t have the will to whip those qual­ ities into championship shape and the spirit and determ ination to win. The 27th Division has all the qualities th a t m ake champions. It has ju s t as keen brains, just as sound bone, and just as lithe and powerful muscle as any other arm y in the world. These raw products can be moulded and turned and ham m e red into a finished product th a t will eclipse the best we will have to face. The responsibility for the success of the 27th Division, so far as you are concerned, rests squarely upon the shoulders of one man, and th a t is the m an rig h t under your own hat. The Commanding General and your officers can plan and prescribe regula­ tions and training for you, but unless you yourself get into the w ork w ith dead earnestness and determ ination to win, you will simply be one of those near cham p ions who never arrive. Don’t depend altogether upon the men in command to make this Division the greatest in the world w ithout your fullest support. Take the m e asure of yourself, or the Ger­ m ans will, and see how far short you fall from doing your share. W hen every man does his part, the officers will have an or­ ganization which can not be shattered by how itzers or hardships. Let this be the slogan of every m an in the Division: MAKE TH E 27TH T H E CHAMPION OF ALL DIVISIONS! Then stake your life on living up to it, or you will likely give your life if you don’t. alert and observing th a t the stove was con­ stantly burning. He Loses the Stove. At the tim e the stove was handed to m e by a thoughtful fellow -private, who said he w anted to do me a favor, I had no idea th a t it w a sn’t his to dispose of. W h a t was my surprise to be confronted by the officer of the day at 3:15 a. m., dem anding w h a t in hell I was doing w ith his stove? I told him I was unaw are th a t it was his. H e then took it aw ay from me and gave m e so m any new orders th a t they perplexed me to the extent of my forgetting them all. And I am said, by my friends, to be un­ usually intellectual. My life since th a t night has been one of num erous punishm ents. Oh, if I had only known th a t the officer of the day was going to come bothering me like that. As I said to my chum and tent-m ate, Dickie darling, w h a t business has an officer of the day to be snooping around at night? Yours truly, ETHELBURT JELLYBACK, Pvt. —C. D.