Translation:

Track 1

Kiyoshi: Yeah. It’s a shame, but at the rate things are going, we don’t have much of a choice.

Kuroko: Kiyoshi-senpai…! … I understand. I guess I’m not cut out to be Kagami-kun’s partner after all.

Koganei: What?! H-hold on a sec! What’s that supposed to mean?

Kiyoshi: Oh, Koga! Perfect timing. Can I get a refill on my water—

Koganei: [rushes over to their table] Forget about that! What were you talking about just now? What on earth happened?

Kiyoshi: What do you mean?

Koganei: They said something about not being able to be partners anymore!

Kagami: Oh, see, we were talking about how Kuroko and I are going to stop handing out flyers together.

Koganei: Huh?

Kuroko: In other words, we’re discussing our part-time job.

– –

Kagami: Shuueisha CD Drama: Kuroko no Basuke

Kuroko: “This Is the Story of Our Part-Time Jobs”

– –

Koganei: So you were talking about your job? Geez, don’t scare me like that. Hey, Kagami, could you hand me that empty plate?

Kagami: Sure.

Koganei: Thanks. So? Why can’t you hand out flyers together?

Kagami: Kuroko and I were working as a pair—I’d hand out the balloons, and he’d hand out the flyers, but…well…

Kuroko: No one notices me when they walk by, so we can’t make any progress with the flyers.

Koganei: Oh, that makes sense. But didn’t Coach choose jobs she thought would be a good fit for us? Did yours not work out that way?

Kiyoshi: No, it did. Our job is to hand out flyers, but Riko managed to find a job where we’d be handing out flyers in costume, so that even Kuroko would stand out.

Koganei: In costume, huh?

Kuroko: Yes. Mine is a pink rabbit.

Kiyoshi: By the way, mine is a turtle, and Kagami’s is a tiger. They’re really cute!

Koganei: I’m pretty sure a turtle pushing two meters would be more scary than cute. But they still don’t notice you, even in the costume? That’s incredible, Kuroko.

Kuroko: It’s a real problem. The way things are going, we won’t be able to meet our quota for the day.

Koganei: Yeah, that’s not good. We’ve all got to work hard to raise enough money to meet our goal. Oh, crap. I’ve gotta get back to work. They’ll get mad if one of the floor staff is spending all his time at the same table. Oh, Kiyoshi, if you’re finished with that plate, could you pass it to me? I’ll get it out of your way.

Kiyoshi: Sure thing. Good luck!

Koganei: Same to you guys! [heads to another table] Sir, if you’re finished with your plate, I can clear it for you. Oh, let me bring you another glass of water. Just a moment.

Kuroko: Koganei-senpai’s amazing, isn’t he? He’s still waiting on all of his tables, even while carrying that huge stack of plates…

Kiyoshi: Looks like this job as a waiter at a family restaurant is a perfect fit for him.

Kasamatsu: You sure as hell did. Today’s supposed to be our day off, but you forced me to tag along for this good-for-nothing game of yours.

Moriyama: “Good-for-nothing game”? I take offense at that. Picking up girls isn’t a game—it’s culture!

Kise: May I remind you that there’s someone who suffered a crushing emotional blow on account of this so-called “culture”?

Kasamatsu: Kobori…

Kise: He finally worked up the courage to go chat up some girls, but they just laughed at him… That’s gotta hurt.

Moriyama: But why did those girls laugh at him, anyway? Kobori’s tall, and he definitely looks like a kind, genuine person. What’s there to laugh at?

Kise: That pickup line was downright awful! I can’t believe he actually said, “Miss, would you like to grab a cup of coffee with me?” Nobody uses that line anymore, even on TV! And to top it off, he was so nervous that his voice cracked… Poor Kobori-senpai… I hope he can bounce back from this.

Kasamatsu: He was reeling from the shock and embarrassment afterward, but Hayakawa was going to try to help him get home.

Kise: He shouted, “Leave the (re)bound to me!” at the girls who turned down Kobori-senpai. I think he scared them half to death!

Kasamatsu: He’s a good guy, but he’s an idiot. And he’s still not pronouncing his r’s.

Moriyama: Anyway, I never expected you to freeze up like that when your turn came around, Kasamatsu.

Kasamatsu: Th-there’s no way I can do something like that! Besides, when it comes to girls, I—

Moriyama: I know. You have trouble dealing with them, right? After all, when you talk to a girl, your entire vocabulary shrinks to the words “yeah” and “no”.

Kise: Are you serious?! How have you managed to make it through life like that?

Moriyama: It’s partly because the girls in his class take pity on him and only ask him yes-or-no questions.

Kise: Kasamatsu-senpai, that’s a little extreme…

Kasamatsu: I-I can’t help it!

Moriyama: Be that as it may, you can’t go on like this forever. Why don’t you follow my example and try being a little more assertive?

Kise: Moriyama-senpai, you’re the last person who should be setting an example for him.

Moriyama: Why is that?

Kise: Because your attempt to pick up a girl was a complete and total disaster!

Moriyama: I’m not sure what happened… We hit it off really well at first… How did I screw it up?

Kise: No matter how interested a girl seems, blindsiding her with a line like “You and I were destined to meet. To part ways here would be to defy fate itself. Now, let us walk the path of destiny together!” is a surefire way to freak her out!

Moriyama: But I heard that girls like talking about fate and destiny… The female mind is a mystery indeed…

Kasamatsu: Men and women were never meant to understand each other in the first place.

Kise: Kasamatsu-senpai, I think you should put a little more effort into finding a happy medium.

Kasamatsu: Shut it, you! [kicks Kise]

Moriyama: As I suspected, it seems that picking up girls is still a little too advanced for us.

Kise: A “little advanced”? No, I think you need to consider starting over from scratch…

Moriyama: We should’ve given ourselves time to test the waters instead of jumping straight into the deep end. Ergo…let’s host a mixer!

Kise: Why?!

Moriyama: We’re running into problems precisely because we’re trying to pick the right girl out of a sea of people. Don’t you think we’d have a better chance of making a connection with girls who are already interested in meeting us?

Kise: Um…well…I guess it’s a step up from hitting on random strangers…

Moriyama: Alright, Kise, I’m counting on you to make the arrangements.

Kise: Why me?!

Moriyama: Because you’re the one who spends the most time chatting up the ladies!

Kasamatsu: I can’t! You’re making it even more confusing! Besides…what am I supposed to talk about, anyway?

Moriyama: Ask about her hobbies, like I did.

Izuki: I had the same thought earlier, but that question reminded me of something you’d ask at a formal marriage interview.

Kasamatsu: A m-marriage interview?!

Kise: That shouldn’t make you more nervous!

Koganei: Sorry for the wait! I have one Japanese set meal and one daily special. [serves their food] How goes it? Making any progress?

Izuki: I think so.

Koganei: You know, if you want to keep a conversation with a girl rolling, it’s important to know how to choose good conversation topics.

Moriyama: I suspected as much… But how are we supposed to know what to talk about?

Koganei: Don’t overthink it! If you’ve got something in common, you can talk about that, but even if you don’t, you can talk about something you’re interested in, and so long as she’s interested, too, it’ll all work out. Now, please enjoy your meal! [leaves]

Moriyama: I see… That’s some good advice.

Kise: Kasamatsu-senpai, can you think of an interesting topic?

Kasamatsu: Not when you put me on the spot like that!

Kise: It can be anything! You know, like something you’ve been really into lately.

Kasamatsu: Something I’m into?

Izuki: Hyuuga, I guess you can use whatever you and Coach usually talk about, right?

Hyuuga: Huh…? With Coach…? Um… What do we usually talk about, anyway…?

Track 5

Midorima: [sighs] Very well. Takao, get off the bicycle. I’ll make a special exception for today and take a turn pulling the trailer.

Takao: Do you have to say it with that condescending attitude? Besides, it’s your fault the trailer is so heavy in the first place! Just look at this freaking mountain of red stuff we’re hauling around!

Midorima: Ten items of stationery, twelve articles of clothing, five types of food, twelve household goods, five different knickknacks, six toys—that’s fifty in all! We collected so many items, but not a one of them seems to be my lucky item…

Takao: Seriously, how did you and everybody you know just happen to miss the lucky item announcement on “Oha Asa” this morning?!

Midorima: I was giving the program my undivided attention! But due to an unexpected incident…all I heard was that my lucky item is something red.

Takao: I didn’t see this morning’s episode, either… And neither did our senpai. But even so…when you don’t have your lucky item, you’re a read handful, Shin-chan…

Midorima: …!

Takao: While we were running outside during morning practice, you got drenched by an old lady watering her garden, fell into a manhole, and almost got dragged away by a car…! What, are they having a blowout sale on bad luck or something?!

Midorima: How should I know?

Takao: Even our senpai lent you a bunch of different stuff… But I wasn’t expecting that red scarf from Ootsubo-san. He said he knitted it himself!

Midorima: It was rather well made.

Takao: He said he made it in home ec class, but when I picture him knitting away with those giant hands of his…it just cracks me up…! [laughing]

Midorima: Laugh all you want, but we’re going to have to knit in class sooner or later.

Midorima: Hmph. I always do everything in my power to succeed. Unfortunately, I soon discovered that the captain’s red scarf wasn’t my lucky item. I put it on, only to get tangled up in it and nearly die.

Takao: You put it on? Even though it’s hot as blazes outside?

Midorima: What of it?

Takao: N-nope, never mind! Oh, Miyaji-san gave you a red t-shirt, right?

Midorima: Yes. Apparently it’s very dear to him, so he told me to take good care of it.

Takao: So you actually put it on? Wow, you sure are dedicated.

Midorima: While we’re on the subject, there’s something I’ve been wondering about for a while now. Why do they call it “oshimen”, if it’s in relation to an idol?

Takao: Huh?

Midorima: If the idol is female, wouldn’t “oshiwoman” be more appropriate? Or even “oshilady”?

Takao: Nah, the “men” means something totally different in this context.

Midorima: I tried asking Miyaji-san the same question, but for some reason, he looked at me like I had two heads, then walked away without saying a word.

Takao: He must’ve realized that it’d be futile to even try to bridge the gap between the two of you. Oh, that reminds me—Kimura-senpai gave you some food, right?

Midorima: Yes. He gave me fresh tomatoes, bell peppers, apples, and strawberries. Apparently his father was out on a delivery and went out of his way to drop them off at school.

Takao: Why don’t we eat some to lighten our load?

Midorima: No, we can’t. Now that I’ve accepted them, consuming them would be rude to Kimura-san.

Takao: Yeah, but isn’t it best to eat food while it’s fresh? Here, like these strawberries. They look so juicy, and their sweet aroma is just wafting through the air!

Midorima: But we don’t have any condensed milk.

Takao: Huh?

Midorima: You can’t eat strawberries without condensed milk.

Takao: Ah… So now we can’t even eat strawberries without following a set of rules. But, c’mon, if we don’t ditch some of this stuff, I don’t think we’ll be able to fit anything else in the trailer! What’re we gonna do if we find your real lucky item?

Midorima: I’ll simply have to carry it. Even the items that didn’t turn out to be my lucky item deserve to be treated with the utmost care.

Takao: Oh, is that so? … You know, all things considered, our senpai have really been looking out for you today, Shin-chan.

Kagami: (What the hell is Midorima doing here?! The last thing I want is for him to find out I’m the one wearing this tiger costume!)

Midorima: [running] You there, Tiger! Why are you running away?!

Kagami: (He’s chasing me!)

Takao: [laughing] Oh, man! This is hilarious! The tiger and Shin-chan are playing tag! Hey, that tiger’s got some moves. He’s actually managing to stay ahead of Shin-chan—what, is there actually a wild tiger in there or something?

Kiyoshi: Why is Kagami running away from Midorima like his life depends on it?

Kuroko: He probably doesn’t want Midorima-kun to know that he’s the one wearing the animal costume.

Kiyoshi: But his face is hidden by the costume, so Midorima couldn’t possibly know it’s him.

Kuroko: I think he panicked and forgot all about that…

Kiyoshi: This is bad.

Kuroko: Yes.

Kiyoshi: He can’t hand out balloons like this.

Kuroko: This is going to interfere with our work.

Kiyoshi: They’re scaring away all the children who wanted balloons.

Kuroko: We need to do something about this.

Midorima: [running] That’s…far enough! [grabs Kagami]

Kagami: (He caught me—!)

Kuroko: Midorima-kun! Please let go of Mr. Tiger!

Midorima: What is it, Rabbit? This has nothing to do with—how do you know my name?

Kuroko: It’s me, Midorima-kun.

Midorima: Wha—?! Kuroko?! What on earth are you doing?

Kuroko: We’re working part-time for the drugstore, handing out flyers.

Takao: You’re kidding! That’s you inside the rabbit costume, Kuroko?

Kuroko: Hello, Takao-kun.

Kiyoshi: Don’t forget about me!

Kuroko: Kiyoshi-senpai is here, too.

Takao: W-whoa—! That thing is huge! What kind of costume is that supposed to be?

Kiyoshi: I’m Mr. Turtle!

Takao: A turtle? Aren’t you a little big for a turtle? And why’re you guys working a part-time job dressed like that?

Kuroko: It’s a long story.

Midorima: Kuroko, and the Iron Heart…does that mean this tiger is Kagami?

Midorima: Handing out flyers should be a cakewalk for you if you use your Hawk Eye.

Takao: That’s not what it’s for!

Kuroko: But…do you think this is okay?

Kiyoshi: Why not? I’ll explain everything to the manager later.

Kuroko: Alright… In that case, Midorima-kun, you have a deal.

Kagami: (How the hell did this happen—?!)

– –

Midorima: [to passersby] This drugstore is celebrating its reopening! Please take a flyer. Yes, here you are. Here you are. Here you are. Here you are.

Kagami: (Midorima’s a natural at this! I don’t get it…! Who’d want to take a flyer from such an unfriendly looking guy?)

Midorima: [handing out flyers] Please take one. Here you are. Here you are. Please take one. Please take one.

Kagami: (And how did we get paired up?!)

Midorima: What is it? You want a balloon? Then line up over here. You have to wait your turn. You, over there! Stay in line. If you get out of line, you’ll have to wait longer to get a balloon!

Kagami: (Damn…! I hate to admit it, but since he made all the kids form a line, it’s a lot easier for me to pass out the balloons now. Dammit! I don’t want to admit it—!)

Midorima: You there, Tiger.

Kagami: (Gah—?!)

Midorima: Why are you looking around? You’re the only tiger here. I’ve run out of flyers, so I’m going to get some more. I’ll bring some extra balloons for you while I’m at it.

[Kagami starts following Midorima into the store]

Midorima: Tiger? Why are you following me?

Kagami: (‘Cause I’m not gonna let you handle this all by yourself.)

Midorima: Heh. What a peculiar tiger. Oh, there’s a step there. Be careful.

Kagami: (Oh! —ugh, shit! Don’t expect me to be grateful or anything!)

– –

Kuroko: Midorima-kun is passing out flyers like it’s second nature to him. I’m honestly a little surprised.

Takao: Shin-chan may not be the most sociable guy around, but he sure is dedicated. People can’t help but want to take flyers from him! [to passersby] Oh, please take a flyer! Yeah, here’s another one from me!

Kiyoshi: That’s a good point… Maybe we should start emphasizing the cute factor of these costumes in order to get people’s attention. Anyway, is Midorima really that unlucky when he doesn’t have his lucky item?

Takao: Yeah, like you wouldn’t believe. It’s so bad that it’s weird if he isn’t tripping over something or getting splashed with water.

Kuroko: It’s a good thing he found his lucky item.

Takao: Nah, it’s too soon to tell. We still don’t know for sure that red balloon is his lucky item.

Kuroko: Huh? The red balloon…?

Takao: But it looks like his bad luck’s stopped for the time being, so it’s definitely a possibility. [to passersby] Oh, I have a flyer just for you, ma’am! And you, too, miss! Please take one!

Kuroko: If I’m not mistaken, today’s lucky item for Cancers is…

Takao: Ah! Kuroko, look! There’s a group of elementary school kids coming this way. If Mr. Rabbit does his best to stand out, I’m sure they’ll take some flyers!

Kuroko: Oh. Right!

Kiyoshi: Mr. Rabbit, act cute! Remember to act cute!

Kuroko: Yes! I mean…yup!

[a strong breeze whips ups, blowing away some of the flyers]

Takao: Ack—!

Kiyoshi: Ah!

[the signboard above the store starts creaking]

Kiyoshi: Wait, that’s the—! This is bad! Get out of there, Kagami!

Midorima: Tiger, hold on tight to the balloons—

Kagami: Look out, Midorima!

Midorima: What?!

Kagami: Argh—!

[Kagami jumps in front of Midorima, pushing him out of the way of the falling sign]

Midorima: [grunting] What on earth…? The sign fell?!

[Kiyoshi, Kuroko, and Takao rush toward them]

Kuroko: Are you alright, Kagami-kun?! Midorima-kun?!

Takao: Shin-chan! Are you alive?!

Midorima: Yeah. The tiger protected me…

Kagami: [grunting and wincing] Ow… Ugh, that was close…

Kiyoshi: I can’t believe you made it out in time. You’re amazing, Kagami!

Kagami: My body just sort of moved on its own… But I’m glad nobody else got caught under the sign. …huh? My head feels really light for some reason.

(1) Oshimen refers to a fan’s favorite member in an idol group. The term is a portmanteau of the words in the phrase oshiteru menbaa (“the member you support”). Seeing as the t-shirt is Miyaji’s, I’m willing to bet that Midorima is sporting a Miyu-Miyu t-shirt.

– –

This drama CD was adapted from several chapters in the first two -Replace- novels:

Interestingly, in the novel, Seirin works part-time jobs for a day not to raise funds to buy new uniforms, but to repay the club funds they were forced to spend in order to cover the bill for an end-of-summer yakiniku party. The total bill exceeded 110,000 yen, and Izuki, as the club treasurer, informs Kagami that he was responsible for racking up about three fourths of that total.

Thanks so much for this translation! I just had a chance to hear it, and I really enjoyed it. I think Track 6 was the best–it would be great if they made this into an anime OVA as well!! I am also happy to learn that the Generation of Miracles keep in touch (Akashi and Midorima) despite their conflicts.