Friday, 18 December 2009

Not a Teddy Bear.

If watching nature in the raw causes so much upset, may I suggest adventurers with squeamish stomachs forgo their next eco-vacation. As the commentators in this story suggest - the bears are just being bears - and much of this behaviour occurs unseen throughout the Arctic. Male polar bears are not the only carnivorous mammals to kill cubs - grizzlies and lions, amongst others, also are quick to dispatch young of their species - which allows the females to come into heat for mating, an evolutionary tactic for genetic continuation. However, in the spirit of goodwill there are possible solutions to reduce this carnage.

Capture all the polar bears, relocate them to cushy zoo habitats and segregate them according to sex and age.

Start a write-in campaign to the Northern Members of Parliament to prevent the slaughter and bring the offenders to justice. (Maybe exile them to Antarctica)

Contact this department to have social workers explain to the male polar bears the error of their ways.

Should the above three approaches fail to rectify the problem, here is the method of last resort. Gather together five or six ‘greenie’ friends and head to Churchill to perform an intervention. Waylay one of the deviant ursine predators, surround him, berate him about his nasty habits. persuade him to renounce future mayhem and convince him to be a leader in the rehabilitation of his species.

Be assured that when employing method number 4, any self-respecting male polar bear will be grateful for your efforts and greatly appreciate that you brought yourselves along as the dinner entrée.