Tuesday, May 12, 2015

A Different Kind of Hard

I remember when Landry was still a newborn. For moms out there, you know those days. The days where you still don't have your baby's cries figured out, when there is no predictability, when everything seems to be in a constant state of chaos.

I remember those days telling people how hard it was, how Landry just wouldn't nap! And wanting that reassurance that this mom thing would get easier. Unfortunately more times than I can count I was met with

"It doesn't get easier, it just gets different."

How I loathed that saying. It ranks right up there with "this to shall pass" and "it is what it is". As a new mom you have that silly belief that at a certain point in motherhood things would become effortless and your life would suddenly resemble something you would find on Pinterest.

For me that magic time was once Landry was 6 months old. I knew in my head that once she hit that 6 month old mark I would have hit my stride as a mom. She would be crawling, eating solids, and on a schedule. Everything would then be easier.

6 months have come and gone and I am now staring at my 9 month old. And I am here to tell you

"It doesn't get easier, it just gets different."

Don't get me wrong, Landry sleeps through the night for the most part (except for those damn 5-6am poops that wake her up and screw up everything). I definitely know the signs of tired vs hungry vs wet diaper. I have started learning her personality. I am overall more confident of my abilities as a mom. I am no longer healing from an unexpected c-section (you know except for no abdominal muscles). Landry follows a pretty consistent eating schedule and has even decreased the amount of formula because of solids!

In all the ways that having a 9 month old is easier it is also harder. The second I think we finally have some kind of nap schedule or routine she has a day where she only takes one nap. Or that she is so tired and wants to nap but a poop wakes her up.

Solid food does mean less formula and baby-led weaning makes life so much easier than preparing purées. But it also means so much mess to clean up. Landry has 7 teeth already which means she eats primarily table foods. It also means we have been in constant teething mood since she was 3 months old.

Landry can crawl and pull up on stuff. Which means she doesn't get upset when I leave the room or she can't reach a toy. It also means that I have to pick up so much more stuff that she can now reach and drag out. It also means that my house is in a constant state of needing to be baby proofed.

I am so much more confident in my abilities as a mother. And since moving the monitor to my husband's side of the bed (every little noise woke me up!) I get a lot more rest. But I also am more physically exhausted than before. I am constantly trying to keep up with a rambunctious 9 month old who gets into everything.

We are working on learning "no" and following directions. She is starting to be defiant and waiting to see my reaction.

"It doesn't get easier, it get's different."

I feel even more protective, concerned, and connected to this little soul. It is so different than when she was first born, when she was a stranger in my arms. It hurts me more to see her upset and I already see time slipping away and missed moments.

3
comments:

You have spoken the absolute truth and it will continue to "get different" but that's okay. Being a Mom is one of the most awesome things you will ever experience in your sweet life. Love and miss you, sweetie.

This is all so true. My husband and I were talking about that this weekend - he is really digging the "I can kick a soccer ball and run around Home Depot and water the flowers with you" almost-two-year-old stage of our toddler, and I am mourning the "I can sit up but not yet crawl and get into everything" seven month old stage of our baby who is now always everywhere. It comes in waves.

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