Palin blamed for Obama attacksStandard, Kenya - 11-10-08The US Secret Service has blamed Republican
vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin for the death threats against
president-elect Barack Obama

"People
are now asking if the Obamas being in the White House will be a return to
Camelot. You know like what it was during the Kennedys? As opposed to the last
eight years, which is return to the 'Dukes of Hazzard.'" --Jay Leno

"We feel about
Sarah Palin the same way you guys
feel about the Queen," said Mike Spalding, chewing tobacco. He quit shaving
in 1992, and has a grey beard down to his navel.

How bad
must the G.O.P. feel right about now? It portrayed Obama as a socialist, a
communist, a Muslin, and a friend of terrorists, and the majority of American
voters said, “Y’know, we’re O.K. with that, as long as he’s not a Republican.”
- Laugh Lines

The U.S. military has been
using a secret order to target suspected al-Qaeda terrorists
anywhere in the world since spring 2004, the New York Times said, citing
unidentified senior American officials.

"Sources
from the McCain campaign are starting to talk. And they said today that when
they were prepping Sarah Palin for the debates, they found out that she thought
Africa was a country, not a continent. Now, to be fair to Sarah Palin, it is
hard to see Africa from Alaska." --Conan O'Brien

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Joe Scarborough Drops The F-Word This
Morning and Admits Drug Use At 1:06

Morning TV Is For
Adults Only!

What the ...?

MSNBC's Joe Scarborough apologized Monday to the young viewers in the audience
of his "Morning Joe" for dropping an F-bomb.

"This is a show for adults, but I got a lot of people telling me their kids wake
up and have breakfast watching with them," Scarborough said.

"In fact,
starting today, Barack Obama is now going to receive the daily White House
intelligence briefing on things like, you know, security and terrorism, stuff
like that. It's the same briefing President Bush gets every day, but without the
pictures and the color by numbers." --Jay Leno

"Rumor is,
still a lot of infighting within the McCain campaign, between the Palin people
and the McCain people. Now, I don't know if that's true or not, but earlier
today, Sarah Palin put McCain's campaign bus on eBay." --Jay Leno

"The stock
market had its worst week in a long time, and that's saying something
considering recent history. Not only that, the stores are reporting their worst
earnings in the last eight years, unemployment is at a 14-year high, car
companies apparently are headed toward extinction. Today in Times Square, the
stock ticker just said, 'What the f**k are you looking at?'" --Bill Maher

Miss Geico
piloted by Marc Granet of St. Petersburg Beach, Florida and Scott Begovich of
Jupiter, Florida speeds by sunbathers en route to a Turbine class world title at
the Key West World Championship offshore powerboat races in Key West, Florida
November 9, 2008. Granet and Begovich averaged 125.88 mph over the 81.4-mile
course off the Florida Keys. This was the fastest speed of any of the entries
during the week-long world championship in the Florida Keys. Photo/Andy
Newman/Florida Keys News Bureau