- "The motherfucking badass" mom who distracted the ax-wielding terrorists in London so police could move in and shoot them in the face. [BuzzFeed] - Leonardo DiCaprio's already bailing on The Great Gatsby premieres. [Lainey Gossip] - Demi Moore's new boyfriend has beads in his dick. Uh huh. [Dlisted]…

I've got some good news and some bad news: The good news is that we can create photo galleries again, so here are the Irina Shayk bikini pics that we originally planned to start the day with. The bad news is that Kate Upton will no longer be accompanying every single post. Which…

Italian entrepreneur/black diamond specialist/guy who really loves 80s sunglasses Fawaz Gruosi celebrated his 60th birthday last night at The Billionaire Club in Sardinia which apparently sent out a goddamn clarion call to every golddigger on the planet because, Christ, was this thing stacked. Legend has it some of them even stopped spending rich dudes'…

- A woman’s abs are like magic. [theCHIVE] - Apparently jabbing your penis into a pile of Silly Putty with tits is the new Faberge Egg. [Lainey Gossip] - Weird Things Your Favorite Teen And Child Stars Are Up To Now [BuzzFeed] - So Brad Pitt really has no…

- Fit Girls Who've Worked Hard For a Little Recognition [theCHIVE] - Justin Bieber has molded another Canadian in his image, so naturally that image is a girl. [Lainey Gossip] - The most convincing looking transsexual you'll ever see in your life, so of course Donald Trump kicked her…

Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover model Irina Shayk apparently doesn't shave her legs because here she is in LA yesterday looking a tad, I dunno, let's say "Kardashian-esque." Now, for a fun little experiment, try and find a single man who would let this deter him from having sex with her, which…

Here's Irina Shayk posing for the 2011 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue which she also happens to grace the cover of. Now, usually this is the part where I attempt some sort of witty commentary, but if you're even reading this, you're probably thinking about shoes and/or behind the wheel of a…

Irina Shayk has been popping up all over the place the past few months and silly me chalked it up to a wider social acceptance of mail order brides. "At last, I can stop hiding and run for state senator," I foolishly thought. Turns out she's the 2011 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover.

For those of you foolish enough to read the words down here, this is Russian model Irina Shayk posing for the December issue of GQ Spain. She's also the girlfriend of Portuguese soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo despite the fact he's had sex with Paris Hilton, and was successfully…

Here's 20-year-old Brazilian supermodel Emanuela de Paula posing for Victoria's Secret yesterday in St. Barth's. I'm pretty sure if I ever had a chance to touch this woman's naked body I'd weep like I'd just seen the face of God kiss a baby that's flying on gossamer wings into a perfect golden sunset. Or immediately…