How to Get Food Stamps

Yesterday, I posted a link to the Living Wage Calculator, and casually & rhetorically — but not accurately — said that you could use it to calculate eligibility for food stamps.

That’s because in order to actually keep writing, instead of simply howling my outrage, I have a flip tendency to handle rhetorically, ironically, and sarcastically the actual, bitter experience of faculty, students, and staff cheerfully exploited by half-million-dollar-a-year pigs at the trough and their cronies in the trustees’ skybox.

Food stamps are a federal program, administered by individual states. There are generally eligibility calculators made available by the relevant agencies in each state, such as this one in Oregon.

If you are eligible for food stamps in your state, you may also be eligible for emergency food assistance at a food bank and, if you are pregnant or have young children the WIC supplemental nutrition program.

Make sure you let your local newspapers know that you’re a campus employee and, if you have the time, mention what your top administrators earn and how much they spent on bricks & mortar, such as business centers and sports facilities in the past couple of decades.

Millions of Americans, many of them enrolled in or employed by higher education, are receiving food assistance, and with the rising cost of transporting oneself to multiple part-time jobs (yep, it costs more to be poor — just ask your administrator with a vehicle allowance), millions more are enrolling.

Millions of others are supplementing their loans with family assistance and credit card debt.

Nope, no problems here.

At least none that the god Market can’t fix.

Oh, and USC? (You know which one I mean by now.) I’ll catch you next week.