Friday, December 10, 2010

Just Call Me a Softie

I officially have squishy boobs now! YOOHOO! (Or should I say "YOOFOOB!"?) My exchange surgery this past Tuesday went well, and I am still recovering....Slowly.....The pain is definitely there, and yes, the immediate difference in chest pressure is noticed.In a good way..I can take a deep breath without feeling like my foobs are going to crush a rib or something....It's nice. I was just expecting this surgery to be a little bit easier than it was, but I guess I still can't complain, because lt was ALL my choice to have my boobs whacked off in the first place...

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Marking all the imperfections to fix on my foobs bf surgery

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I have been wanting to write this blog for the past couple of days since my surgery, but I have just been in a lot of pain due to my plastic surgeon having to do a lot of extra work on my left side...The expander on the left side never settled into the muscle-pocket as evenly as the right side, and always sat higher on my chest....(As you can see in the picture to the right.) You can see where my PS (plastic surgeon) marked on my left foob, where to cut into the muscle more, and where to take off the extra skin.....The right foob was good.....

Oh, and by the way after my mastectomies, the only spot on both of my breasts where my nerves have regenerated and I have ANY feeling at all now, is OF COURSE, on my left foob, right where she cut off that extra skin....So yea...That's why I'm having a lot of pain... Generally, after you have a mastectomy, you don't ever get sensation back into your breasts...Sometimes those nerves can regenerate, and sometimes not...Everyone is different...

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Damn! Look at those things! WTF are they??

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Anyways....This was still my foobs with the expanders in, before the surgery...Bryan and I were waiting in the little curtained area, waiting for the anesthesia people to come while we took these pictures....My exchange surgery was done at an outpatient surgical suite of the hospital, and took about 3 hours....I was not at all nervous for this surgery, compared to the first surgery. Having had to deal with the daily pain of HUGE expanders in my chest and stuff, I was ready to get rid of those suckers...I was totally not sad to say "goodbye" to these boobs....

It's funny...Bryan and I were talking while I was waiting for the doctors, and I mentioned how weird and ironic it was that I was once again saying goodbye to my breasts....How many women get to say goodbye to their breasts twice? The first time I said goodbye to my breasts, it was much more emotional...They were my god-given breasts.....They were the breasts that were potentially going to kill me....But I still was sad to see them go......On Tuesday, when I said goodbye to the "expander breasts", I had no emotional tie to them, whatsoever....I wasn't sad...I was happy to get rid of them.I know that I have made the right choice to have my breasts removed, I haven't even given cancer a chance to reside in my body, in my breasts....Fuck you, cancer! (I hope.....You'll read why in a minute.)

Well...Anyways....Here are some stupid pictures while we were waiting.....And no....I had no medication at this point to make me goofy.....I'm just weird..... :)

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Ready for surgery!

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My lovely husband.......

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The magical hose into my body.

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The "little black box" that has anesthesia drugs in it....

Okay...So finally...After like an hour of waiting, the anesthesiologist came in, and I signed some papers saying that I agreed to the side effects of anesthesia (sore throat, headache, dying, etc), and I told Bryan that I loved him, and then the anesthesia guy gave me a small amount of Versed through my I.V. (The "I don't give a damn" medication) Then they wheeled me back to the operating room...I remember this whole ride....I remember getting into the OR, and telling the anesthesiologist that it smelled like a fireplace and then laughing...They all started laughing at me, and then then said it was the medicine....Then I told them to not mess up on my boobs and they started laughing more, and I went to sleep.....How nice.....

Sweet Dreams, Big foobed Weirdo!

So I woke up a couple of hours later.....My chest was actually not the first thing that was hurting....My head was POUNDING! (Damn side effects from the anesthesia..) The recovery nurse was awesome and was right on top of helping control my pain, so she gave me all the pain meds I needed to control the headache, and once that went away, the pain from the surgery started setting in..especially on that left side..And yes, MUSCLE SPASMS occurred, too! And they hurt, I think worse, than the last surgery. They feel like intense lightning bolts, and this time, they are under the muscles in my armpits....Awful shit, let me tell ya....

I guess while I was in recovery, my doctor had come out and talked to Bryan that she found a lump on my left side, above the tissue expander.....I have felt this lump for about a month or so now, and at my pre-op, I showed it to the doctor, and she assumed it was just an internal stitch that had ripped or something...Well, during the surgery, when she opened me up, she saw the lump, and didn't know what it was...She sent it off for biopsy....Bryan debated about whether or not to tell me......So obviously this has me a little freaked out....You know...Having your breasts cut off, and not having to "think" you have to worry about lumps in your breasts anymore, and then something like this happens?......Shit......I don't know.....We will get the results of the biopsy soon.....

ANYWAYS! We got to go home about 1.5 hours after I was in recovery, and that night was GAWD AWFUL....My doctor gave me vicodin for pain medication, and it did absolutely nothing for my pain....I slept 1 hour that first night after my surgery....As soon as my doctor's office opened that morning, I called and told them that I needed something stronger....We had to wait in Albuquerque for about 6 hours, just so we could pick up the written prescription for Percocet from my doctor, because she was in surgery all day long, and narcotics cannot just be called in by a nurse...(I know! I'm a nurse...You have to have a written prescription)...We live in Carlsbad, which is a 5 hour drive from Albuquerque, and we had to wait that long, just for a prescription....BLAH FUCK POOP SHIT! Whatever...I got it, and it is working much better for my pain....(FYI-A lot of people have asked me about pain medications, I guess since I'm a nurse, and bc of this blog..........Percocet is stronger than Vicodin.....APAP means acetaminophin=tylenol.........And Yes, pain medications can make you itch...They make me itch to the point that I have to take benadryl with them!)

Taken the night after surgery with dressings intact

So here are the pictures you've been waiting for....Pictures of my new, squishy boobs....And no, I will not call them "Fishy boobs" now that they are squishy foobs.....

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﻿﻿﻿﻿﻿ *I don't have drains, thank god!
*My doctor said I don't have to wear a bra, and can wear one when I feel comfortable wearing one!
*I can't take tub baths for 2 weeks! (I can take a shower 3 days after surgery, which is today!! Totally looking forward to it, because my hair is so oily, I could fry a chicken with the oil from it!) And yea, I sat in the tub to get my bottom half clean and to shave already...I just didn't get my boobs wet at all...That's why they don't want you to take a tub bath...)
*I don't have any wound care/dressings to change...I just took the dressings off that are on the picture above, 2 days after surgery, and now they have steri-strips on the scars...Those stay on until they fall off on their own.....

So here are my new, silicone filled foobs....I'm a softie now!!!

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My new foobies...Steri strips cover the scars...Much more natural, don't you think?

5 comments:

Lynda Hrycak
said...

I am so glad you finally made it to this step. I remember how nervous you were before the initial surgery. I do have to say I am a little jealous since you got your squishies before me :). but I really ok with that, hope your healing continues as well has it has.are you gonna do the nipples?

Thank you, Lynda! You will have squishy boobs eventually...Patience!! But I gotta tell you, I admire your positive attitude throughout your setbacks, and don't think I would have been able to keep a good outlook on things like you have...You are awesome!

As far as nipples....I really don't know if I am am going to get them at this point...I've gotten so used to seeing nipple-less boobs, that I really don't miss them anymore...Haha.

You have beautiful squishy foobs! I'm so glad that you're home and doing okay :) The expander foobs looked more like someone super glued halves of flesh covered tennis balls to your chest. These foobs are very lovely :) Very natural.

I remember taking care of an elderly cousin who'd had a mastectomy several years before. I was very young and I didn't want to upset her by asking about them. She was incredible. That morning, when I was helping her put on a bra, she told me about it. She said she wished that they'd removed the other breast as well so she didn't need to wear a bra. She told me never to define myself as a woman and human being because of breasts and a uterus. The advice stood me in good stead when I had to have my uterus removed because of fibroid tumors (they had to take my uterus out in four sections that weighed on average 9 pounds each, total 37 pounds).

You may try Nin Jiom Pei Pa Koa (ninjiom-hk.cwahi.net). i know alot of people use it, its also non alcoholic, though it's effectiveness is not as good as alcohol based cough medicine, but it's still good to use on not so serious scratchy throat.

Angela-The one you read about

Hi there. I am 27 years old. I am BRCA2+, a mommy of a 6 year old and a 4 year old. I've been married for almost 7 years, and I am a registered nurse. In the past year, I have come to discover my fate of being BRCA2+, and in July 2010, I decided to have prophylactic bilateral mastectomies-skin sparing, non nipple sparing. I am writing this blog to hopefully spread the awareness/help others in my situation/bring humor to this situation/educate others about BRCA gene mutations, surgery options, post op, and complete with all of my post op pics! I am very open and light hearted with all of this stuff, so feel free to ask me anything.