students write the funniest things

This Thanksgiving, I’m thankful for the bloopers that make grading bearable, if not outright fun. These aren’t the funniest I’ve received (I’m up to 72), but they are the most recent. I’ll receive more in the coming weeks, which I’ll post by the end of the year. I’ve italicized the key words and given my commentary after each quote.

68) “Baptism is a sign that seals our fate.”

This sounds sinister, though it’s actually true in a way.

69) “Women are too qualified to hold church leadership positions.”

Not sure if reverse psychology is the way to go here.

70) “For non-Christians, the Lord’s Supper is a testimony of the church to Jesus Christ and an invitation to except him as Lord.”

I think non-Christians are already doing this.

71) “The Son is the Creator, El Salvador, restaurateur, the redeemer.”

Nothing wrong with opening a restaurant, though I doubt it belongs in the same list with Creator and Redeemer.

72) “Jesus will return in the clouds to remove the church from the earth”

This makes sense. A secret rapture would require Jesus to hide in the clouds. “Hey, isn’t that cloud drifting a little too close? It might be Jesus, sneaking up on us!”