Three Ways to Heal from Sexual Abuse.

Sexual abuse is unfortunately too common amongst females of all ages.

The statistics say every two minutes, someone in the United States is sexually assaulted, 97 percent of rapists will never go to jail and two-thirds of the assaults are committed by someone known to the victim.

All I can in response is shake my head and sigh in disappointment and grief. Yes, this too is part of the world we live in.

As a child, I was molested for a number of years—stripped of my innocence without a clue of what was actually going on until old enough to reflect and realize. This person is still around the field of my life—not close, but around the outskirts. He has three sons now, unable to have a daughter. Karma’s a bi*ch sometimes; you really reap what you sow.

Did this affect me negatively throughout the course of my life? Of course. It’s traumatic. Have I healed the wounds and moved on from being a victim? Yes, but it was a long, humbling journey.

Still is.

Have I forgiven him completely? Of course; we suffer to then heal. That’s the formula.

In my healing sessions and spiritual counseling/life mentoring programs, I work with a lot of women who have had a similar story. Too similar, although some not as lucky as me. I can deeply relate to their emotions, feelings, thoughts and patterns that arise from being a victim of sexual abuse. It echoes out into day-to-day life in quite a detrimental way if not looked at, healed and let go.

Here are some ways in which may help you to understand your experience if you have been a victim of sexual abuse. I am sorry that it happened to you too.

1. “Why me?”

I don’t know. I don’t have the answer to that one. But it happened and the only thing to do now is accept that it happened and move forward and away from the event that is debilitating you from living your life fully. It’s okay to be angry, frustrated and pissed off. You’re allowed to feel all those things. It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t cause it to happen. Get any ounce of guilt out of your system. A child never lures a predator; children, by nature, are pure and innocent. You did not do anything wrong. Now that you are an adult, you can choose how to navigate such an event and understand, heal, transform and shift it to a place that is held by you, instead of it holding you hostage. You don’t have to forgive them immediately. You will when you’re ready.

2. “It’s not fair.”

When I work with women, I hear story after story about how they were raped and the rapist was let go— out walking the streets, without a single imprint of remorse or even affirmation that the event even occurred, no record or charges pressed upon the predator. Instead, the women accused and looked down upon for attracting such an incident. Justice in this case, infinitely falls short.

You’re right, it’s not fair. It’s fuc*ked up that your innocence was robbed from you. Sometimes life is this way. The only response I have is karma. There are events, situations, relationships and dynamics that we are born signed up to experience coming into this world. Some people have darker beginnings than others—myself included. I’ve had more density, darkness and weight in the first two decades of my life than most people will ever experience in their lifetime. I understand. I get it. It sucks.

But here’s the beauty of it. Your suffering is your initiation into your spiritual understanding. Suffering is the primary foundation for liberation. We are so much more than just a physical body, you know? Spirit is the only way that has ever worked for me. It’s been the only thing that made everything make sense. I recommend you try it; explore Spirit.

3. “How do I let it go?”

This is the question that I love to hear the most. That means you’re ready to let it go. You’ve finally had enough of the weight and chains this story has had on you and you’ve begun to take the first steps towards freedom. You have a desire to change the story, change the outcome, accept the past in order to come fully into using what happened to empower you fully into the present moment of now. By asking that question, you have already begun the process of letting go of any shame, guilt, pain, fear or any other residual echo of what the past may have done to effect your life today. The past is really just a prologue for the monologue of the current moment.

Keep doing the work, keep practicing yoga, keep meditating, keep using all the tools you have that work for you in assisting your process in healing, transformation and growth. Soon, the thing that used to be “this big” will be miniscule to then non-existent. One day all pain, all suffering, all darkness will be gone. That’s the recipe.

Practicing what you want, leads to embodying what you are. That is transcending, that is healing, that is realization, that is evolution, that is awareness, that is you moving out of pain and suffering into freedom and bliss. That is your true nature.

About Chloe Park

Chloe Park is an Artist, Spiritual Teacher, Yoga and Meditation Instructor, Holistic Healing Practitioner, Life Coach, Women's Empowerment Leader, Social Change Activist and Ethnobotanist. A traveling Healer and Teacher, she roams the Earth to share her message: unconditional love, self-healing and awakening. She uses the medium of writing, holistic healing, medicinal plants, yoga and meditation to help all those along the Path to attain harmony with mind, body and spirit. She is devoted to facilitating the space for Healing, Love and Truth and is passionate about bringing ancient practices and traditions into the modern times we live. Her intention with her writing is to offer Q&A for all those who are engaged in the dialogue.
Chloe also writes for MindBodyGreen, Healthline, WorldLifestyle, and Yahoo Shine!. To stay connected with her current projects, retreats, teachings and traveling schedule, find her on Facebook: www.facebook.com/chloeparkhealing or visit her website: www.chloeparkhealing.com. Spiritual counseling and life coaching sessions with Chloe are available via Skype. May we all wake up together. ॐ

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