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Did I just invoke the name of da’ Stafe and summon him from the heavens? I’m not sure I can wield such power responsibly.

By: DaDude

03.18.2010 @ 12:10 PM

I don’t remember the last time I actually could stand to read a post in the “Stafe” personality. I understand how you’re trying to be funny, but it comes off as obnoxious, and unreadable.

FLAME ME.

By: DrAndonuts

03.18.2010 @ 12:17 PM

DaDude a-whined-s.

Also, I’m Italian.

By: Chareth Cutestory

03.18.2010 @ 12:18 PM

Whenever I read these posts I end up sounding like an 18th century chimney sweep. Chip chip, cheerio, guvnah.

By: Burnsy

03.18.2010 @ 12:19 PM

DaDude, I completely agree. You come off as obnoxious and unreadable.

By: silverscreenstoner

03.18.2010 @ 12:21 PM

if you dont like it, dont read it. its like a mormon coming across porn, there are others of us who get a kick out of it so if you dont prefer it move on and leave the rest of us to our stath-induced ejaculations

By: Donkey Hodey

03.18.2010 @ 12:22 PM

The Stath always brings a knife to a gunfight and a spear to a fistfight.

By: Chareth Cutestory

03.18.2010 @ 12:26 PM

And Rip Torn brings a raccoon to all fights. Even, like, petty arguments.

By: Donkey Hodey

03.18.2010 @ 12:29 PM

Obnoxious and unreadable is how they scored Tim Tebow’s Wonderlic.

By: Erswi

03.18.2010 @ 12:30 PM

Obnoxious and unreadable is how I imagine Diablo Cody to be . . . in bed.

By: Vince Mancini

03.18.2010 @ 12:31 PM

Even my close friends are divided as to whether the Stath is funny or obnoxious and unreadable. I don’t know either, but it’s fun to write.

By: Chareth Cutestory

03.18.2010 @ 12:32 PM

I always thought obnoxious unreadability was the whole point.

By: Påüłÿ Ðąηgęrσűşľγ

03.18.2010 @ 12:34 PM

FLAME ME.

You’re flaming enough, innit.

By: Johns Little Dick

03.18.2010 @ 12:38 PM

Stath is a staple of this blog. To take him away would be like having a wife and not being able to beat her.

By: CROOOOW!

03.18.2010 @ 12:40 PM

My only issue with Da Stafe is the sadness I feel when I realize that Statham isn’t like that 100% of the time.

By: Erswi

03.18.2010 @ 12:43 PM

Does nobody realize that da Stafe is funny BECAUSE he’s obnoxious and unreadable?

By: Mark It Zero

03.18.2010 @ 12:44 PM

Stath makes the best wings. He rips his shirt off, covers himself in vegetable oil, and lightly crisps the skins to a golden brown. Then he kills an assassin and serves the wings platter style with some ranch. SE MAGNIFIQUE!!

By: Electric Mayhem

03.18.2010 @ 12:45 PM

I love Statham, but Da Stafe is annoying. The essential problem is that while Statham is articulate within the confines of Cockney accent and slang, Da Stafe sounds more like a drunken Arsenal hooligan crossed with Ozzy Osbourne. Throttle it back and all will be well.

By: CROOOOW!

03.18.2010 @ 12:48 PM

Next you’re going to tell me that you don’t like Nic Cage articles because you find him “too ordinary”

By: CROOOOW!

03.18.2010 @ 12:51 PM

Vince, if you stop writing Da Stafe I swear I will drive to your mansion, kick down your door, and kick a billiards ball into your head

YES, THAT IS A TRANSPORTER REFERENCE

By: Donkey Hodey

03.18.2010 @ 12:51 PM

Vinky, if you change Da Stafe one bit then I will pout and cry and punch my Edward Cullen sex pillow stop letting you come over and play with my SNES.

By: Påüłÿ Ðąηgęrσűşľγ

03.18.2010 @ 12:53 PM

Vince, if you stop writing Da Stafey I’ll stop writhing your stiffy.

By: CROOOOW!

03.18.2010 @ 12:55 PM

Vance, if you change Da Stafe I’ll stop trying to get the hantlers picture on my Capital One card

By: Johns Little Dick

03.18.2010 @ 12:55 PM

Harry “I cant see my penis” Knowles has Stallone stop by to talk about his projects from time to time. Why shouldn’t we have Da Stafe?

By: Erswi

03.18.2010 @ 12:58 PM

Bak up!

By: Vince Mancini

03.18.2010 @ 12:58 PM

Not to explain a joke or defend it (because it’s sort of an either you like it or you don’t kinda thing and I’m okay with that), but the point was always that he was sort of a funhouse-mirror version of The Stath. His resemblance to the actual Statham is kind of beside the point.

By: Vince Mancini

03.18.2010 @ 12:58 PM

New up with Tony Jaa, btw.

By: Moose

03.18.2010 @ 1:12 PM

I would’ve been just fine to keep believing Statham was writing these entries. Now I know it’s just Lance. And he’s not even English.

This is like the time that girl I picked up at the corner turned out to be a dude. I mean, it’s satisfying and all, but I can’t brag to my friends about it.

By: Michelle07

03.18.2010 @ 1:59 PM

I didn’t need another reason to hate Ben Foster. Gahh I hate that guy. He has bitch face.

By: Mattmatician

03.18.2010 @ 3:00 PM

We’re still doing the leak gasoline then ignite it with a bullet thing?…Oh, we are? Cool, then I’m going to finish my script where someone can curve the projection of a bullet…Oh. Starring Angelina Jolie and the goat from Narnia? Guess there are worse writers than me.