You Don’t Have to Be Gay

You Don’t Have to Be Gay: Hope and Freedom for Males Struggling with Homosexuality or For Those Who Know of Someone Who Is
Konrad
1987

Submitter: Wow, get a load of that back cover! This book was in my local public library. The book is nothing more than correspondences between the author and his brother. 285 pages of typed letters. I am sure there is a healthy debate about whether to keep material like this in a public library.

Holly: Ok. Let’s talk about this. It is plausible that public libraries looking to balance the viewpoints represented in their collections bought this in the late 80s. I have no problem with libraries making books on a variety of viewpoints available – especially controversial topics like this. Almost 30 years later, though, there must be better choices to represent this perspective. I have a bigger problem with the age of the book than its message. (To be clear – I do not personally believe that homosexuality is a choice, or shameful in any way, but this is not about me or my opinions.) It’s just too old to represent current culture, attitudes, or even law regarding homosexuality, on either side of the argument. Everyone should live as they see fit, so if you truly want to “escape from homosexuality,” as Konrad says on the back cover, there are new resources available to you.

Ugh ugh ugh. This might belong in some kind of historical collection, but it’s awful, with its basic premise that gays are probably unhappy and looking for a fix. Oh, and “You’d better not kill yourself, buddy” is more effect via telephone, not snail mail. Pretty sure they had phones way back in 1987.

As Alan Chambers points out, “Ex-gay is not necessarily straight.” To quote J.A. Konrad, “Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t lust for women as some men do; that is not healthy behavior either.” (“You Don’t Have to Be Gay,” Pg. 280, Pacific Publishing House, 1987)https://www.truthwinsout.org/ex-gay-is-not-necessarily-straight/

I’m not saying this is a good book or anything, but it’s one of the few anti-gay books I’ve seen that don’t seem to use religion as a major reason for their stance. Also, the discovery of AIDS was only a few years old when the letters were written. If you read them remembering that AIDS was very prevalent among gay men and was basically a death sentence back then, it is easier to understand why these two brothers (both of them potentially gay?) were so eager to rebuke the way they were naturally inclined to be and try to change their sexuality. Which (not a “myth!”) is probably near impossible to do.