Even the most secure folks sometimes have trouble when opening a relationship goes from philosophy to practice. And the first times your honey is out with someone other than you can be particularly challenging if you've only experienced monogamy before.

Its totally common for me to hear from folks who say they've been fine all along and suddenly when the house is empty- or their partner isn't available by phone insecurity, jealousy and anxiety swoop in for an unplanned visit.

If you haven't thought ahead it's really easy to get swept away in an anxious surprise. So I often urge clients to think up a self-care action plan before that trifecta of emotion comes knocking. Here are some of the ideas my clients have come up with:

Take a colleague to dinner

Call/Skype/Facetime that far away friend you haven't spoken with in a while