Frustrated with my family and the mental health system

I know there are people here who think taking mental health medication is a good thing, but I don't. I also know that there are some here who when they are at their darkest moments, will feel being committed in a hospital is a good option. But I don't. I have dealt with the mental health system for half my life and it has been a whirlwind of bullshit for the most part. When I was first put on medication nearly 16 years ago, I was 15 and the side effects were terrible. I never felt like myself and I tried to tell the doctor this as well as my mother, and both just brushed it off as nothing.

Don't get me wrong, I think there needs to be a mental health system. However, I think it's very broken and many times, just wrong in so many ways in how they treat people. The psychiatrists I have encountered were lazy and unprofessional. I don't buy into the bullshit that all they are qualified to do is give someone pills. To me when they say that, they come off as nothing more than drug dealers with a degree on their wall.

But what's worse than the system is family. My family has done a lot for me, and I appreciate that. However, there have been times when they have been extremely toxic, especially when it comes to my mental health journey. Many times they think they are "helping" when they are doing more harm. When I used to take meds, all my actions revolved around whether I took my medication that day. I find this to not only be unfair, but to be hypocritical coming from them. I come from a family of people set in their own ways and never change those ways. It's discouraging, because even though I am not a good person, I work on myself to better my life.

There's more, but overall, I just feel so frustrated and tired of feeling like everyone else's voice when it comes to my own life matters more than my own voice. And no, I can not just up and leave where I am at or completely cut my family off as I do not have the resources to do that, so please don't suggest that.

Good to ramble hun to let out the thoughts some It is hard when family want to be so helpful but they don't really listen to what your want. I agree that the mental health system does need some help as well I have seen some changes where i live that seem to be moving toward giving someone more individual care in the community not in hospital
I wish there was a way for you to feel like you had more control of your life hun i think that would help some Just hope you keep talking here hun keep venting ok it helps

There are people who think the mental health system as a game. My mother tried to have me committed two summer's ago. She told them I had threats of suicide, when I didn't at that time. Police came and handcuffed me and took me to the emergency room to be evaluated....which consisted of talking to a doctor and a mental health specialist for about 30 minutes each.....between those two evaluations, I spent nearly two hours sitting in a room while a guard sat by the door. The thing is though, in a rare moment the system worked for once as they both listened and saw I was not a danger to myself and/or others. But it doesn't end there. See, when my mother found out I would not committed, well she made sure that no one in my family would pick me up. Why? Because she's passive aggresive and selfish and thinks she has control over my life in ways that she doesn't even have maturity and control over her own. I ended up walking almost 14 miles in the dark to get back to where I live. I live with my aunt and my mother was only visiting. For the next several days, she acted like she had been wronged and didn't speak to me for several months.

The reason why I';m saying this is because it can be dangerous to open up to family, because they pull crap like that. She didn't do it to help me, rather she did so because she is vindictive and selfish. The mental health system is broken and flawed, and selfish people like my mother should have been fined for her reckless crap. I'm sorry if this is a ramble, and I'm sorry if it doesn't make sense, but I just needed to say this.