Last week, it was Houston that arrived in New England for what was billed as a showdown of AFC powerhouses. Instead of the epic Monday night game that some envisioned, the Texans were laughed out of Gillette Stadium and the Greatriots solidified their place as AFC favorite, which means exactly nothing, but is a nice thing to have said about you.

Now it’s the 49ers, a team with a hyped defense that has shown fewer flashes of being vulnerable. They also have Colin Kaepernick. The type of people who show up for Patriots games won’t fault Kaep for having tattoos. They have enough barbed wire forearm tats to ensure that. It’s the amount of DAHHHHKIE BLOOD the Massholes object to. Especially when the name Colin Kaepernick sounds like it might be a hometown Southie asswipe.

It was said that Tom Brady has been preparing for this game since Thanksgiving, which is either a huge compliment of the 49ers or a huge slight against the Dolphins and the Texans. Knowing as we do the trolliness of Brady, it is most assuredly the latter.

Because Brady hails from the Bay Area and grew up a 49ers fan, expect more than a few mentions of Giovanni Carmazzi, the quarterback that San Francisco took in the third round the year that Dreamboat was drafted. Oh, were you not aware that Brady was taken late in the 2000 draft? Allow me to refresh you on the past decade-plus of belabored announcer talking points.

For all of you guys who masochistically sit through the halftime show, I highly recommend NBC’s own Sunday Night Football video player. No aneurysm inducing line-up of PK, Florio, Costas, Rodney, and that gremlin looking guy.

So who at NBC watched the SIMPSONS episode where Lisa imagined she was President, and Bart was her leeching brother trying to start a band, and thought “THIS COULD WORK IF WE SWAPPED OUT BILL PULLMAN FOR LISA.”?