This is a blog of news and essays aimed toward gay Mormons who wish to hold the Priesthood of God honorably (Men) or to remain active members of the LDS Church (Men or Women), their family and friends, or anyone who has questions about what it is to be a faithful Mormon, or a Mormon questioning... and gay.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

The Boy Scouts of America today, Thursday May ended its policy of denying membership to openly gay youth. The decision followed years of internal debate and has been seen as a milestone for the Boy Scouts of America.

1,400 leaders from across the country voted, with 60 percent approving the measure that states that no youth can be denied membership “on the basis of sexual orientation or preference alone.”

Top leaders of the Scouts had pursued the monumental change in admission statues while conservative leaders of scouting and right wing parent threaten to withdraw from the organization.

The decision put scouts in tune with public acceptance of homosexuality, especially among younger supporters currently being courted by the organization as numbers of enrollment fall to all time lows.

Now the question seems to be, "As boys mature and reach the age of 18 -- legal age as an adult, will they be asked to leave the scouting organization?

Gay rights advocates have vowed to encourage the scouting organization to allow gay members of all ages.

Many conservative organizations claim that gay scouts will be violating the oath to be “morally straight.”

Robert Schwarzwalder, senior vice president of the Family Research Council, who is a conservative Christian group and a father of two scouts in Northern Virginia stated regarding the future of the BSA, “I think there will be a loss of hundreds of thousands of boys and parents.”

Where does the LDS church stand on the issue? Will the LSD church back out of scouting because the national organization is allowing gay youth? I believe they will not. It would seem consistent with the teachings of the institution to allow those with homosexual inclinations to remain as members of the church in full standing, as long as they obey the law of chasity -- probably easier to do up to the age of 18.

Would love to post his photo, buthe is young. I hope his smile isas big as this kid's. Like he says, everyone was made how they are for a reason.

Hi
everyone. I have some news. My loving, talented, kind, beautiful, amazing,
compassionate, smart son is gay. He came out to us on Friday. As you can
imagine, this is very difficult for us, so I am not going to call you all
personally and talk about it. I tried. I got through 2 phone calls and it is
just too hard. But, Jon wants to be open about this, especially with the
family. I am starting with my siblings first because I know what accepting and
loving people you all are. I will try to answer some of your questions in this
email.First, this is what we know from Jon. He loves the gospel. So far,
nothing has changed with that. He is still a 13 year old boy who is working on
his eagle and wants to serve a mission. He is so rooted in the gospel in a way
that I will never understand. He and Jake have the testimonies in this house
hold for sure. So, that is where we are at now. We will take this day by day
and if anything changes, we will support and love him whatever he chooses. He
wants to be open about this because he wants to (his words) be an example to
other teens that might be struggling with this and know you can be happy and
amazing just the way you are. He also said he wants to show that you can still
be a part of the gospel and be gay and be happy. This is where he is at right
now and I hope you guys can support that. Of course things might change. He is
13. He says he wants to be a beacon of hope for others that might be like him.
(his words) I have cautioned him about telling kids his age just yet. Not
because he should be ashamed, but because I want to protect him from cruelty and
hate for just a little longer. He says he feels so strongly that Heavenly
Father made him this way for a purpose and he is perfectly happy with it. He
just realized this a week ago. Literally, a week ago he planned on marrying the
most beautiful girl, Sierra. He is 13. He saw 2 guys kissing and that made
sense to him. He was shocked that it made sense to him. He started to question
this and then discovered his preference, physically and emotionally was toward
boys. He knows for sure. Jake and I know for sure. As soon as he did some
research and confirmed what he thought, he came to us. He has not grappled with
this or struggled with shame or depression. He just realized something about
himself and told his parents. If any of you know Jon very well, this will not
surprise you because he is the most amazing human I have had the pleasure of
knowing. If some of you don't know him that well, I feel sorry that you have
missed out on this beautiful soul.Second, this is where I am currently at. I am ashamed to say that I
have had some selfish moments thinking about the future I had for him vanish. I
have only one child. One shot at grand kids and they are going to come to me in
a way that I was not expecting. I am devastated. Jake and I both are. We are
first and foremost concerned for Jon and the cruelty that could come his way.
He is strong, but we don't want ANYONE to break his beautiful spirit and heart.
When he told me, I was sobbing. I asked him to not take that the wrong way. I
still loved him, but I was sad for the hard road he now faces. I made it very
clear that he is loved and safe and we will help give him the best life any kid
could have. But, it felt like a death to me. I mourned the loss of the life I
wanted for him. Someday I might feel ashamed of that, but I could not help it.
Apparently my feelings are normal and it is all part of the process. I am ok
if I talk about logistics, but when I see my grand babies that look just like
Jon vanish away, I break down with a sorrow I didn't know humans could feel.
That is where I am currently at. For me, I am not concerned for his salvation
like some of you will be. I understand this. It's amazing how perspective can
change over night. I felt a peace (a Godsend) that he is loved by God. He is a
child of God. And I am a loving parent. I cannot imagine creating a beautiful
person like Jon and then condemning him for the way I created him. I just can't
imagine it. Jake has a sure knowledge of the gospel and this concerns him.
This is where he is now. Again, this can all change over time. I don't know
what the future holds. I don't know if Jon will continue in this gospel that he
loves. He is 13. I don't know what life will be like when he is 16. We are
taking this one day at a time. All I know is that he has 2 parents that love
him deeply. I know he did not choose this. He knows he did not choose this. I
think Jon is going to change the world. Third, I am telling you all this because he asked me to. He accepts and
loves people no matter what. He has a compassion that some people strive their
whole lives to have. He really feels the world will treat him how he would
treat it. He is gifted that way. Please take care of that precious soul and
accept him. This is my plea to you, my siblings. For I have always been a
mother bear. Once I found out about Jon, that didn't seem a fierce enough
title. There is a whole new level of protections that has come over me. I now
call myself a Mama Dragon. I could literally breath fire if someone hurt Jon.
Dragons have talons, scales, claws, fangs and they can fly. I will use all of
these resources if someone were to hurt Jon. Jake said he has a new great fear.
He said we need to keep bail money on hand. He is afraid he will physically
hurt someone if they hurt Jon. This comes from a man who has never hit another
human in his life. Not even his own brother. This says a lot coming from Jake.
So, we are circling our wagons around Jon, but I know we can't protect him from
everything. And as a Mama Dragon, that is the hardest part of this. I don't
know what the future holds. I just know that there will be love.Fourth, please do not tell your children yet. I would ask that you
start a loving dialogue about the gay community. Please, for Jon's sake, teach
them that gay people are children of God too and he loves them just as much as
he loves you. Teach them compassion. It would crush Jon on a very deep level
if hate speech came from his beloved cousins. They are his only siblings and it
would crush him. If you love Jon at all, please help us in this. When you feel
that your child is ready to hear it, please let us know and we will let them
know. Jon needs to be enveloped in love right now. He will get plenty of hate
from a world that simply does not understand. His road will be hard enough. I
ask this other favor of you all. I know everyone will have strong opinions on how I should handle this.
I appreciate your concern. Just know that I am his mother. I have been given
the great privilege of raising him. I will do what I think is best for him.
Jake and I both will. I do appreciate any resources of reading information
about this world that we are now plunging into. I have read more about this
loving community that he is now a part of than in my whole life.
It's overwhelming it's scary. It's sad. It's everything. I can't tell you I
will be perfect, but I will do my best. I appreciate any support any of you are
capable of giving. I also understand that some of you will really struggle with
this. I will do my best to understand where you are coming from. Thank you for
reading this.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

I think I was wrong in my last essay.I implied that masturbation was a small thing that may, or may not, need to be handled correctly. (I can't avoid all the puns, so I'm not going to try. Stop giggling.)Now, I do speak from some experience. OK, a lot of experience. I could have been crowned the king of M-ing -- and that is all I am going to get into here in the blog. Let it suffice that I know what I am speaking about.For years I wished I was not gay, and that I could stop masturbating. Those two things took up almost all my wishes for half of my life. I don't know which brought me more shame -- to have feelings toward guys, or to remind myself of my desires three or four... well, they were both mind numbing from age 12-13 to my mid thirties. Last week in a blog I said that it probably wasn't such a big deal, and we all had a small chuckle over the wording by President Packer that was supposed to help us to...not do what we were doing. And I more than implied that there were worse things a guy could do. It's not my job to rank sins. Frankly, how you deal with sexual desires is not my concern, and I shouldn't be commenting one way or another. Please forgive me for coming close to giving you any instruction on the matter. I will stick to speaking for myself.
﻿

Mild mannered, unassuming, in control.

For myself, I think of masturbating and smoking to be a lot alike. Both could be called "gateway" activities, both could lead to more serious transgressions, both take a reasonable amount of self control. Both are a bugger to stop once you've started. Would I stear you away from smoking? Yes, I would.Some say that the church is trying to control our lives. I don't say that. I say that the church wants us to be in control of our lives. I am pro-Mormon church because I think that the Mormon church wants what is best for us, as well as an organization of humans on earth can.I am older, and masturbating is not as big a deal for me as it was in my youth. Self control has only a small percentage to do with that. The difference has been maturity, and by that, I mean age. My sexual desires are tame now in comparison to what they were in my college years & anything in the proximity -- one of the reasons I try to let young gay men know that there is wisdom in letting time fly.I cant speak for straight guys. I think that it is sometimes bad for them, but that is not my area of expertise. Still, letting time pass and getting married, or growing older, or a number of things tames the beast considerably.

The best I can offer at this point is that your sexuality is between you and the Lord. It sounds silly -- the thought that you would share that information with the Lord, but he knows anyway, and he can help you through whatever you are going through.I can say this without feeling like I had stayed past my welcome. Guilt and pain may be helpful in appropriate doses. But carrying them around as penance for masturbating doesn't seem right. Your call, though.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

The first time I heard about masturbation was a priesthood session of general conference. The speaker talked of a little factory producing a product, and if you kept taking from the factory, it would continue to churn out the stuff. If you didn’t take from it’s supply then it would peter out and not produce as much. I went back and found the talk. Here is the part I mention:This little factory moves quietly into operation as a normal and expected pattern of growth and begins to produce the life-giving substance. It will do so perhaps as long as you live. It works very slowly. That is the way it should be. For the most part, unless you tamper with it, you will hardly be aware that it is working at all. As you move closer to manhood, this little factory will sometimes produce an oversupply of this substance. The Lord has provided a way for that to be released. It will happen without any help or without any resistance from you. Perhaps, one night you will have a dream. In the course of it the release valve that controls the factory will open and release all that is excess. The factory and automatic release work on their own schedule. The Lord intended it to be that way. It is to regulate itself. This will not happen very often. You may go a longer period of time, and there will be no need for this to occur. When it does, you should not feel guilty. It is the nature of young manhood and is part of becoming a man. BK Packer http://www.lds-mormon.com/only.shtmlAt the time, I had no idea what factory he was talking about. The only factory I knew of was by the river in my home town that produced jerky, and the GA's wisdom simply didn’t apply to meat… Little did I know.

It's just what I thought, dude. You need to get another hobby

I have spent 3/4s of my life feeling bad about masturbating. Not just masturbation - as in something that was sinful, but as in something I did on regularly that was sinful. Please don't ask how regularly. Let me just say that if I spent as much time on something else I could have put myself through law school, and would have three Gina Bachauer trophies sitting on my piano. In my twenties I remember thinking in a prayer, OK, I cant have sex with somebody else, and I can’t have it with myself. Just what do I do?My bishop at a student ward told all of us during an elders quorum meeting that he didn’t care and didn’t want to know about masturbation as long as you did your business by yourself, and there was no pornography involved.

Those two years were the most spiritually free I remember feeling throughout puberty, teen life, and college -- those two years he was bishop. I wasn’t so frantic and ashamed. I smiled more. I talked to the guys sitting next to me in priesthood meeting. I even taught a few of those meetings without feeling like I was a self abusing, MOHOing fool.

Play, boy! Play for your life!

How about those straight boys? They had much the same problem. In fact, every guy there could have had the same problem, gay or straight. Straight guys could get married and alleviate the situation, but that's for another discussion.Now that I am older, I tend to think that what I do and who I do it with is none of anyone’s business. I feel only accountable to my wife and the lord through the bishop. He doesn’t ask me if I masturbate occasionally. I would tell him if he asked. I feel like an adult human male. If I had the pressure and the urging of youth today, in middle age, I wonder how I would feel? With what I know about the temple and being a man, would I still masturbate as regularly as when I was 15 through 30? Masturbation, unto it self (so to speak) is not the issue it has been made. I am not your bishop or spiritual adviser, so I would never give anyone advise. Rather that focusing on not doing something, focus on reading scriptures or serving others, or home teaching, or a countless number of other things and feel good about where you are going. BK Packer, in that same talk also said this, that I missed hearing the the first time around:"The power to prevent such habits or to break them rests in your mind, not in
your body. Don't let that physical part of you take charge. Stay in control.
Condition your body to do the will of your mind."

The talk makes more sense with emphasis placed on those last few sentences. Readers, (understanding that this is a sight that supports the LDS church as well as being gay) what say you?

A Reasonable Facsimile

This is not a gay blog!

OK, yes it is. But it is also a Mormon blog and a blog for priesthood men who honor their priesthood and wish to keep the LDS church an active part of their lives. I am all three... four. Five?

I am an active MarMoHo, a married Mormon homosexual. I have a temple recommend that I received honestly. I supportthe LDS church and the words of a living prophet. I support people who are gay. It can be done.

Apology for the ad below

Please forgive me if there is an ad in the space below is inappropriate. I am trying to figure out how to block the ads I don't wish to display. They pay for the ice in my Diet Coke

Cal Thompson

Followers

Gay Mormon men who cherish the priesthood and would like to honor their commitments!

Please be aware of sites on the blog-o-sphere that claim to be sympathetic to the teachings of the prophets. Some very well may be. Others are simple journal entries annotating the experiences of an individual with various degrees of success and or promiscuity. Not all can be as wonderful as mine. I hate to sound like the church lady, but chose your blogs and your friends wisely.

And eat your vegetables.

And Fruits!

About Me

I write under the name of Calvin Thompson. I am a creative, accountable, and loving man. I am a Mormon who is also gay. I am married and have 3 children. My bishop is in-the-know, and so is my wife and several of my close family members. I consider myself to be a closet conservative, which is not as strange or as un-popular as you might think, and will be increasingly popular as a growing number of the left improves it's proverbial and literal aim.
I believe that LDS people are Democrats in action - as in they try to take care of people, but Republicans in name - they want to do it themselves without regulation.
I believe that the messier the fridge, the happier the family, but I still have a hard time not straightening it because I'm a control freak. My wife knows I blog, and that I am writing a book – I try to keep things as above board as I can without setting myself up for public ridicule.

"Chastity is sexual purity. Those who are chaste are morally clean in their thoughts, words, and actions. Chasitity means not having any sexual relations before marriage. It also means complete fidelity to husband or wife during marriage."

I order to better understand one another, I think it would be wise to understand the terms used in these essays. What I propose is an Examination for Discovery, which is briefly a meeting of the opposing sides in a lawsuit where the plaintiff and defendant, with their attorneys, meet to examine each others claims and see whether they can find some area of agreement and thus save the time of the court later on. This is assuming that there is common ground, and I believe that even the most cynical of us would agree that there is.

It will be hard to understand one another if you think blue is periwinkle and I think blue is turquoise. I know that the differences may not be a big deal - between periwinkle and turquoise - but I think its best to be incredibly clear. We both may disagree on what blue is, but, for purposes of communication, we will use the terms as listed here - adding when needed.

Of coarse they may be subject to change and/or refinement with experience and further knowledge – and with feedback. Being that this is a blog and not a diatribe, I get to lead I suppose.

List of Common Terms On Which We May Agreeor Agree To Agree On For Sake of Discussion*

For sensitivity reasons we wanted to run this list past my Gramma Ruby, which would have been really helpful not to mention miraculous because she died at an Elizabeth Dole Rally in Boise)

Active: 1) A lifestyle characterized by frequent or various social, intellectual, and particularly physical activities; 2) In geology, a volcano which erupts regularly; 3) A member of the LDS Church who is often seen carrying brownies, scriptures or children back and forth to Church.

Affirmation: 1) A positive assertion. 2) An organization for LDS homosexuals and the people that love them, but not affiliated or supported by the LDS Church.

Sentence: Falling off of the stage was the affirmation she needed to confirm the universality of gravity.

Sentence: The LDS SGA think OGA from ID, WO and MT dress like the NFL.

Beehive: 1) Home to bees, 2) A height-positive sixties hair style which many Mormon women continued to wear through the seventies and into late nineties and early 00’s with a slight revamp; 3) Young woman’s organization of girls who can’t drive yet.

Choice: 1) A decision between two or more option, and often referred to as free agency, personal rights and freedom.

Sentence: The choice for Juan Carlo was to either be eaten alive by the anaconda or jump from the boat into the mouth of the hungry crocodile.

Church: 1) An identifiable religious body under a common name; 2) a physical structure often equipped with a satellite dish, food warming area and an indoor basketball court.

Sentence: The ambulance and two squad cars were sent to the ball game at the Church between the elders and the priests due to last year’s “incident.”

Closet: 1) Upright storage space for clothing; 2) Slang reference to the status of an individual wishing to remain private about his/her sex life and who hasn’t acknowledged their SGA feelings yet to friends and family members.

Sentence: He had been in the closet so long he smelled like cedar and old shoes.

Coming Out: 1) The act of leaving a building or structure. 2) The process of telling people about one’s homosexuality is often referred to as coming out.

Conversion therapy, or reparative therapy or reorientation therapy: 1) A type of sexual orientation change effort that attempts to change the sexual orientation of a person from homosexual or bisexual to heterosexual. In the past techniques have included psychoanalytic group therapy involving aversive conditioning, electric shock or nausea-inducing drugs, and may have included sex therapy. Today there seems to be a more subtle and genteel approach which is being met with more success,

Down Low or DL : 1)This term means different things to different people, however generally it connotes dishonesty and hiding. 2) A term for men who discreetly have sex with other men while in marital relationships with women. Often these men do not consider themselves homosexual or bisexual, and their female partners are generally not aware of these infidelities.

Ex-Gay: Term for those who have experienced SGAttraction and who, for religious or other reasons, have chosen not to embrace a gay identity, or to engage in SGA behavior.

Family Group Sheets: 1) Forms used in annotating genealogy; 2) Money saving tactics for Mormon families at bedtime.

Sentence: Laverne and Lavelle grab your sister and a family group sheet and get you off to bed.

Families are Forever: 1) LDS catch phrase originating in the early eighties - referring to the belief that temple sealed families created on earth can move into the next life together. 2) The prevalent attitude after two weeks of dealing with the new in-laws.

Sentence: Did you hear our new sister-in-law-sing the Duran-Duran Medley? Are families really forever?

Folk Doctrine: 1) Doctrines that develop from prevailing rumor.

Sentence: Three stakes in Pocatello have been asked to spear-head a pilot program for the Churches new Work and Glory aerobics program.

Gay: 1) A happy and joyful method of celebrating holidays often sung about in English Carols and Fred Astaire films. 2) A common term for an individual attracted to their same gender. Gay has been a widely used synonym of "male homosexual." Its meaning is rapidly evolving to refer to both male and female homosexuals. Some people differentiate between homosexual and gay: homosexual is regarded as a sexual orientation; gay is a political identity -- i.e. an advocate for equal rights for persons of all sexual orientations

Gender: 1) The set of characteristics that distinguish between female and male members of a species. It is often used interchangeably with the word "sex" denoting the condition of being male or female.

Genealogy: 1) An activity Mormons do happily while praying to hook up with a distant relative who has done all the work.

Sentence: Brother The-Hun was a bit disturbed when his grandma showed him his genealogy line went directly to some guy named Attila.

Heterosexual: 1) People whose emotional, sexual and romantic feelings are primarily for those of the opposite sex or having to do with opposite sex attraction.

Homophobia: 1) An irrational fear, prejudice or discrimination towards homosexuals. Homophobia can take many forms, from name-calling and teasing to serious crimes like assault and murder. Homophobia like other irrational fears is most often based on ignorance.

Homosexual: 1) People whose emotional, sexual and romantic feelings are primarily for those of the same sex or having to do with same sex attraction.

In: See out.

Last days: 1) A horrific time of floods, famines, political strife and food storage eating – much like yesterday.

Sentence: The last days of a back to school sale appear to be frequented by women on a weekend pass from the state hospital.

Lesbian: Term to describe sexual and romantic desire between females.

Lifestyle: The term lifestyle (as in gay lifestyle) has become a polarizing term though used by gay and lesbian people in the past. “Those in the lifestyle” usually means “those who identify as gay", though it may refer to behavior as well as identity - much as LDS lifestyle would mean those living the teachings or of the culture, or East Coast Lifestyle may refer to black turtle necks, bookstores and apartment living.

Many are called, but few are chosen: 1) What I keep telling myself when I am asked to be on the ward activities committee again.

Mixed Marriage: For our purposes here, a union between one of “heterosexual” orientation with one dealing with SGA.

Out: See in.

Prophet: 1) A man called of God who holds the keys to direct the Church and to speak for Jesus Christ. The President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is a chosen prophet, seer and revelator.

SSA: 1) Acronym for Same Sex Attraction. The LDS Church prefers SGA, (which I always thought stood for Star Gate Atlantis reruns) but actually means Same Gender Attraction. SSA and SGA are terms not highly favored among the gay community. Neither, for that matter, is the phrase “gay community”.

Sentence: ST-TNG and SGA are playing all week on SI-FI.

Sin: To behave in a manner that is contrary to the revealed commandments of God.

Transgendered: A designation of person whose identity does not conform to conventional notions of male or female gender roles.

Quotes, Quotation Marks: Tool used to set apart a word or phrase. For our purposes here, generally speaking, using quotation marks to denote words such as “gay” or “homosexual” is offensive. If you are not comfortable with using a term from the “so-called other side”, then it is recommended that a substitute which doesn't involve quote marks is found.

Sentence: I am offended that “he” just used quotations on the phrase other side.

Straight: 1) A direction which veers neither to the left or the right. 2) A slang term used in the place of heterosexual.

Sentence: The geography club, Straights of Magellan is not accepting new members.

Strait is the gate and narrow is the way: 1) Popular scripture quote used to encourage righteous living and weight loss.

Tithing: 1) One tenth of one’s income donated voluntarily to the LDS Church for upkeep and needed things.

Sentence: Ten percent of nothing is still nothing.

Urim and Thummim: 1) Tool used by Joseph Smith to translate the Book of Mormon. 2) What I wish I had to understand my kids text messages.

Wickedness Never Was Happiness: 1) What Cal’s first missionary companion in the MTC from Macon Georga wrote on his left bicep with a sharpie when visas to Central America didn’t come through on time. 2) Comment made by those on their way to Church when a boat or motor-home pulls up in the next lane of traffic.

Preference,not Principal

Blue shirts, red ties, dark nylon socks...

This is a blog for Mormon SSA* men who wish to follow the teachings of the LDS church while owning their Homosexuality. It can be done! This blog-spot is written by a sort-of smart gay man who is a card-carrying member of the LDS church and hopes to remain so. He will remain so by following the teachings of the prophets. His motto for today is "Many a true word spoken in jest," and he will try to not be so charming.

Mr. Thompson thinks he knows just about everything. Lately, it has been proposed that he may, in actuality, not. He is trying to be open to that thought.

Mother Teresa

Everybody today seems to be in such a terrible rush, anxious for greater developments and greater riches and so on, so that children have very little time for their parents. Parents have very little time for each other, and in the home begins the disruption of peace of the world