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Author
Topic: Should i be worried? (Read 14479 times)

Back in november i had protected vaginal and oral sex with a prostitute in amsterdam. I concerned i might of contracted hiv from this event. The reason i'm concerned is that the prostitute used a lubricant, i dont know if this was oil or water based, all i can say is that my genital area wasnt greasey or oily in the slightest after the event. During the event i remember the prostitute commenting that i must of ejaculated because ther was fluid in my condom, i hadnt ejaculated, and when i looked at the condom it seemed in tack. Would this be likely to be pre-cum? Or could her fluid of got into my condom.

Anyway, since then i have been ill for 8 weeks, i lost loads of weight, had sore throat, been sick loads, i've been extremely worried since the event. I've been tested on 3 occasions, they are as follows

You had protected intercourse which did not put you at risk, *and* you have tested negative 8 weeks after the event.

Normally you would have to wait for 12 weeks for the test to be considered conclusive, but a negative test at 8 weeks has a very high probablity of being correct - in addition to which the incident that you described should not have put you at risk in the first place!

I suspect that the prostitute's comment that you "must have ejaculated" when, in fact, you had not was probably just an attempt on her part to end the session because it was taking too long and she wanted to move on to the next client ...

You should consult a doctor about your symptoms and try to figure out what is actually wrong with you.

It doesn't matter who you have intercourse with, a condom will protect you against hiv transmission and infection. You haven't had a risk for hiv infection. Sex workers use condoms and lube to protect themselves, not you, so you can be sure that the correct lube was used and the condom remained intact.

In the case of an actual risk, a six week negative is very encouraging and unlikely to change, but must be confirmed at three months. As you did not have a risk you can consider yourself to be hiv negative.

You need to use condoms with anyone, not just sex workers. You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL STIs together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with a sexually transmitted infection. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

You do not need further testing at this point, but make sure you start having regular check ups if you're going to be sexually active.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

How convinced should i be that the sex worker used a water based lubricant, i can just remember that it was a large blue bottle, reminded me of a sun tan lotion bottle. I'm scared to death the it was oil, and that the fluid was hers and not mine. I've got a girlfriend to think about in all this, i know my infedelty is unforgivable, and its a mistake i will never do again. I've seen symptoms in my girlfriend of hiv as well as myself. I had a sore throat with swollen glands, then a few days later my girlfriend developed a sore throat, runny nose and a swollen gland on her neck. It scared me to death to the point of being sick. She's also tired all the time at the mo, i'm hoping this is coincidence not my worst nightmare.

I really like these threads that says, "I've got a girlfriend, husband, wife, boyfriend to think about." Why don't you think before you react? You did not have a risk, oil base or not, your condom did not fail. If it would have, you would have known without a doubt.

Why would a sex worker use a oil based lube? She's at far greater risk for hiv and other sexually transmitted infections if a condom should break. That's what oil based lubes might do, cause the condom to break. They don't make them leak. When a condom breaks it's very noticeable. Yours did not break.

Quote

I had a sore throat with swollen glands, then a few days later my girlfriend developed a sore throat, runny nose and a swollen gland on her neck.

It's called a cold and this is cold and flu season.

Unless you and your girlfriend have tested for hiv and all other sexually transmitted infections and are securely monogamous, you should be using condoms with her. Hiv doesn't just affect sex workers and gay men, and I'm living proof of that.

It's not WHO you have unprotected intercourse with that puts you at risk, it's having unprotected intercourse with someone whose hiv status you don't know. If you haven't tested together with them, they you DON'T know their hiv status.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

My girlfriend was a virgin before i meant her, and she has been for all std check last year which were clean. So the only way she can become infected is down to me. I know that i'm all clear of stds prior to my infedelity, but i just want to convince myself that i didnt catch hiv from my recent risk. I have been using condoms over the past 7 weeks with my girlfriend, thers been two events of unprotected sex with her since my risk, this was before i got my self into paranoid mode thinking i've got hiv. I keep reading that condoms fail rapidly when used with oil, i've just gotta convince myself the prostitute was a professional, and she would more about safe sex than anybody.

Like I said, when a condom breaks it's obvious. You would have known. The sex worker would have known - you said she commented on there being fluid in the condom after and you can be sure if the condom was broken she would have said so - she wouldn't have been too happy about it. And yes, the fluid in the condom was likely to be pre-cum.

Based on your testing history, you are hiv negative and it's time to move on with your life.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

The comment regarding the fluid in the condom was made during the act, not at the end. I penetrated her again after the comment was made. She did pinch the tip of the condom at the time the comment was made. She would of noticed if it had failed at the point wouldnt she?

Regarding, the vast majoirty of people convert by 6 weeks, is that say 90% of people, and the small minority are those people who have other health conditions. I regard myself as a fairly health young male, so surely i'd fall into the majority section, well i hope so. Also with my test history, regardless of my symptoms and girlfriends symptoms, i can consider myself negative? that being because one of the tests would of picked up the antigen, and all my came back non detected.

sorry for the PM Ann, didnt realise it wasnt allowed.

thanks again for this great forum,

regards

P.

P.S Ann, the hiv specialist in liverpool, is that at the hospital? i dont live far from liverpool, was wondering if another test next week would do any good for me. Dont wanna go my GUM clinic, they prob wont test me.

I'd say that you are hiv negative because you haven't had a risk. If you haven't had unprotected intercourse with anyone other than your (virgin) girlfriend for the past three months, then your test is conclusive.

Over 90% will test positive by six weeks, but I don't know the exact number because it doesn't matter. A test must still be confirmed at the three month point when there has been a risk. You didn't have a risk.

The only test that a GUM clinic would use on you is a standard ELISA. Your symptoms mean nothing, they'd go by risk assesment just like we do. You haven't had a risk.

See your doctor about your physical problems, they're nothing to do with hiv.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

So the combined hiv1+2 Antibody test and the P24 antigen test is a standard Elisa? I saw the print out, they were both non reactive. Apparently 18months ago our Sexual Health strategy was updated, so maybe the equipment was updated also. All i know is that its an automated machine that tests loads of samples at once.

The antibody bit is what I referred to as being a standard ELISA. Some clinics use the ones bundled with a p24, others do not. There are no other tests they would use on you in your situation.

You can continue to test over this incident as much as you like, the results are not going to change. It's time to accept you are hiv negative and move on with your life. Keep using condoms when you don't know your partner's hiv status and you will remain hiv negative.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

OK guys, i've weighed myself today and i've lost over 14lb, i am a big lad to start with, i.e was 16stone plus now 15stone, this weight has dropped over the past 8 weeks, i've not been eating due to no appetite, and i'm sick on and off. I'm convinced i've got hiv, today i've noticed my palms have a red and white blotch about them which comes and goes. I'm really scared, does you opinion still stand that its not hiv related?

The opinions stand as stated. And weight loss isnt an indicator of HIV infection. But it may be a reason you are sick on and off. Not eating is not healthy.

Based on what you described you are negative.

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LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safelyin a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT ARIDE!!!

Significant weight loss is a sign of MANY illnesses and diseases not EXCLUSIVELY HIV related. Red and white blotchy palms should be seen by a Dr. to get a proper diagnosis, rash on the hands can be syphillis which is MUCH easier to get than HIV.

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LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safelyin a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT ARIDE!!!

You can be convinced all you like that you're HIV positive. Of course that opinion has absolutely no basis in HIV science.

You're just practicing bad medicine on yourself without a license. You are HIV negative. Period. End of story.

If you have symptoms that concern you such as weight loss then you should discuss it with your doctor. If you can't let go of this unwarranted fear then see a therapist or other professional and discuss what's got you holding on to this unwarranted fear.

I'm scared to death because my girlfriend has shown symptoms too, i.e sore throat with swollen neck nodes, runny nose (no congestion), and she had a weird period to. Her sore throat started a few days after mine.

I'm trying to convince myself that all of the above is just me stressing, and then catching a sore throat, which was then pasted to my girlfriend. It just the fact i cant get my appetite back, its now been nearly 9 weeks since exposure.

I've spoke to my doctor, and he just keeps saying I've gotta wait till 3 months has past, which i know, but the wait is killing me. Hence a test at 7 weeks. Although not conclusive i took some reassurance from it, but a week later I'm spirally back into worry mode again.

Now my palms are blotchy, this has been on and off all day. I'm in a bad state to be honest.

More likely you had the flu and gave it to her and now you are feeling guilty about cheating. Hence the continued weight loss. NO HIV in this situation.

Logged

LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safelyin a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT ARIDE!!!

The window for syphilis for a conclusive negative result is three months, just like hiv and just like hiv, an infection will usually show up with testing before the three months is over.

A rash on the palms of the hands or soles of the feet is a secondary symptom of syphilis and if what you are seeing on your palms has anything to do with syphilis, it would be picked up now by the blood test.

You had protected intercourse. You were not at risk for hiv infection.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Condoms do not always protect against syphilis as it only takes skin to skin contact to be infected with syphilis. (your skin coming into contact with a syphilis lesion on another person's body) Hiv is NOT transmitted this easily.

And yes, if you're having secondary syphilis symptoms, the test would have picked it up.

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

I'd just like to thank you guys for your advise regarding my issues, i'm feeling alot better about my self now, and i've even managed to eat 3 meals today, and a couple of cheeky slices of pizza for supper.

I've just gotta get to my 3 month test, and you guys have given me the energy and fight to help me get ther, i'm sure its going to be a roller coaster of a ride over the next 3 weeks, but its got to happen, so why fight it.

You do not have HIV in relation to this incident PERIOD. Your neutrophils are no indication of your status.

Logged

LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safelyin a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT ARIDE!!!

Yes it is encouraging. If the condom broke you would have KNOWN it. The oil based lube wont break it down that fast AND you dont even know if it WAS oil based!

You are negative. Get on living.

Logged

LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safelyin a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT ARIDE!!!

You can have symptoms of LOTS of things for LOTS of reasons. You do NOT have HIV. And are NOT experiencing ARS.

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LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safelyin a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT ARIDE!!!

yesterday i noticed to lumps on my lower back, i've gotta puch to feel them, but they move when i do, are these lympth nodes? today they are sore what ever they are, plus below my ears are sore too, i was feeling around ther yesterday, i've all sorts of aches and pains in my neck and shoulder area,

like i've said i got tested on thursday and it was neg, i've been unwell now for 8 weeks, surely my test would of been positive by now if it was HIV, do you agree?

Also, my palms feel tingly at times, same with my feet, my palms have a red and white look about them, its like a rash, but comes and goes throughout the day.

Rapid, i know you believe i had no risk, but i just cant understand y i've been so ill, yesterday i went out for a meal, half way through i had to go spew my guts up, and my hands are really strange, i woke up last night with one of them numb, couldnt understand y, this weird red and white speckly rash is worryin, i believe that it cant be hiv, but could it be Hep B? i dont know,

LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safelyin a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT ARIDE!!!

LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safelyin a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT ARIDE!!!

It is a great indicator. And should be followed up at 13 weeks for a conclusive result.

Logged

LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safelyin a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT ARIDE!!!

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Just thought would give you an update on my situation, I had a another test at 11 weeks post exposure, both the antibody and antigen came back negative.

Currently i'm suffering from pains in my muscles, in the chest, and rib cage area, also down the side of my back towards my arm pit. Would symptoms like this manifest themselves 11 weeks after exposure? Are they hiv related?

No. we have told you MULTIPLE times and your tests are coming up negative and you still dont believe us. I encourage you to take your own timeout to seek the help of a mental health professional but I think that a forced timeout is on the horizon.

Logged

LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safelyin a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT ARIDE!!!

Believe it or not, i have actually begun to calm down over the past week, my mind is thinking rationally, but thers always the element of doubt. You guys have been a gr8 support, and i really appreciate it.

I work in a professional enviroment, and like to think i've got a decent head on my shoulders, but this has been hard to cope with. My mother is aware of my situation, and she's been very understanding and supportive.

Is the 3 month test conclusive then? The window period offers alot on confusion and debate.

There is no confusion on here in regards to those giving advice. 3 months is conclusive. So says one of us so says us all! Its posters like you that bring up the 6 month window. NOT US. 3 months is conclusive.

Do try and move on.

Logged

LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safelyin a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT ARIDE!!!