Your most important needs are the ones that make you feel like nothing else matters when met and when unmet they make you feel frustrated. Not all of these may be important to everyone but the point is to make sure you are constantly working on the ones that are most important to you and your partner, especially the top 5.

Willard writes that in order to affair-proof one’s relationship both parties need to have an understanding of their partner’s needs and how to meet them. The kicker here is that each partner only needs to meet and understand just the top 5 needs of their significant other.

Imagine taking something as complex as human relationships and breaking it down into only 5 needs that must be met in order to breed happiness and faithfulness.

Sounds crazy, right?

Think about your own needs. What are some of your needs that when met, keep you on cloud 9? Think about the best relationship you’ve ever had. Were the bulk of your needs met? How did that make you feel?

Whether you know your needs top to bottom or you’re just looking to better understand your partner we highly recommend taking a needs assessment together.

The Social Reserve has tracked down one for you. While this Emotional Needs Questionnaire uses verbiage such as “spouse” and “marriage”, we recommend this survey for anyone in a long term relationship. While this assessment provides generalizations, it will give you and your partner a good springboard to better communication and an understanding of each other’s needs.