Come sit, relax, and share the journey of my own personal enlightenment through Art, Light and musings from Tracy.

Friday, October 31, 2008

SerenityPainting by: Tracy Jo

Here is the finished painting of my fox painting. I have decided to call the painting Serenity.

This painting was my first real attempt at painting an animal using acrylics. I love the winter, and also love painting birch trees. I wanted this painting to feel calm, peaceful, and full of peace. I think I have accomplished that. It is a painting of total serenity.

I hope you all enjoy. As always I love to hear your thoughts and feelings regarding this painting. Please feel free to share!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

This award is for all of my wonderful blogger friends!

I have some of the most wonderful blogger friends in the world of blogger land. I feel so blessed truthfully that you all are in my life.

While driving to the doctors office I had time to really think about the people in my life who are so very supportive. I feel so awed at times that one can feel such support from people who comment on ones blog.

I feel like you all are friends of mine, even though I have never met most of you. It is truly amazing how close one can get just from following a blogger s life, and they yours. I am so happy you all are my friends.

Some of you have made such a positive impact in my life! I know with out a doubt that if i put a post up for prayer, or support you all will come running! Thank you so much to all of you!

A couple of you have become such close friends. One blogger friend I met in real life, (Tart) and she is now one of my very best friends! How wonderful it is to have her a part of my life. Not only do we follow one another s blog, but we also now pray together and read the bible together. I can not imagine not having such a wonderful person in my life! I feel our relationship is a God thing truthfully. God knew we needed one another and he guided us to each others blogs! ^.^

I am also blessed to have my twin sister as a blogger friend. I have always loved her for obvious reasons, but i feel now my twin sister has become one of my best friends because of blogger! We always have been close, but our relationship has become stronger now that she is in blog land. What a blessing that is! Thank you Stacy for loving me as much as you do and being such a wonderful friend. Thank you for taking the time to stay close with me. Thank you for being my twin! (not that you had a choice) Another God thing.... ^.^

I have been blessed with blogger friends who continually pray for me. Just look at my friend list and you will see all of those wonderful friends.>>>>>> One in particular stands out for me because he not only prays for me but also puts out a prayer on his blog! Mike thank you for this. With out you in my blogging life it would truly be a loss. Your continual friendship means the world to me.

I would like to give this award to those of you who have not only prayed for me, but given me much needed support. If you are on my friend list, please know that I give you this award with much gratitude and love!

This award is also for those who are not on my friend list, because either you have asked to not be added for privacy reasons, or you do not have a blog. Your friendship and support mean the world to me. (you all know who you are) ^.^

Thank you all for blessing my life with not only your much appreciated comments, and support, but also for your friendship.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

I thought i would give everyone a quick update on how i am doing. I have my ups and downs. Some days are worse then others. I have been keeping myself busy to keep intense mood swings at bay. Sometimes it works other times it does not. Fibro symptoms have been pretty intense this week, I am hoping it is because of the chemical changes in my body, and will go away when the med is out of my system.

Yesterday late afternoon I received a phone call saying I had a doctors appointment today at 1 pm with a neurologist to deal with my fibromyalgia. I was like huh? lol

Apparently the other doctors office not only sent me a referral but made me an appt. unknowingly to me! (would have been nice if they had called me and asked if today was a good time, and the time was ok. Also would have been nice just letting me know they made me an appointment!)

I just got the referral in the mail on friday from my doctor! I glanced at it and thought good i will call and make an appt with this doctor this week. Now obviously I do not have to.

Unfortunately i feel rushed now in trying to find out where this doctor's office is, and find directions. I found them... (thank you mapquest!) The directions are no biggy but jeezzzzzzz this put me in a panic and I am not sure exactly why.

First off I do not even know if this doctor is female or male? I have problems in meeting male doctors with out my husband around. I know that sounds silly, its something I am trying slowly to get over.

Secondly I just do not like going to talk with new doctors because lets face it, I have not had such wonderful experiences in the past with new doctors in general.

I really wanted my husband with me because doctors do tend to react different when the husband is in the room. They do not treat the woman like they have two heads, and are crazy insane.

My husband can not go. It is bad time for him. So I am praying that this doctor will be good, know about fibromyalgia and deal with me in a reasonable way.

I could cancel i guess and reschedule... however I have decided to just go and see what this doctor is like. Who knows this doctor might be the answer to my prayers...

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

I had this long post written up asking for prayers for me. It embarrassed me after i read what i wrote, so i took the post down.

Instead i want to just put a shorter post up, and let everyone know that I am going through a difficult time right now. I know it is because I have had to cut back on a medicine I have been taking for the last fifteen years. (The only medicine i had to help in dealing with the pain of fibromyalgia)

I have gone through withdrawal before due to meds doctors had prescribed to me and then suddenly taken me off of that med. I got through those times of bad withdrawals, and I will do so again.

My mood is very up and down at the moment, probably because of chemical changes in my body. So if i do not post in the next few weeks, or my posts are short, it is because I am dealing with withdrawals once again.

Friday, October 17, 2008

This is today s work on my Winter fox painting. It is the third sitting in working on this painting. I took a close up of the fox so you all can see him better. I am so excited with how this painting is turning up. Today i detailed the fox more, as well as added a few holly trees, and I also added depth to the scene with a darker blue color in the background. I also added more snow. :)

I hope you all enjoy watching this painting's progress. It is not done yet, it feels not done, so i am going to just stand back and look at it, and i am sure something else will come to mind.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

This is the second part of a painting I showed you a few posts back. I am not sure what I will name it, i think that when it is fully done the name will come to me. I still need to add some Holly berry bushes, as well as some greenery. I will be finishing it off with it snowing. In stage 2 of the painting I have added more details to the trees as well as adding a fox.

The fox took a lot of time to complete. I probably will still paint some minor details to him. In the end though I feel he is coming out pretty well. I have never painted an animal using acrylics, and found it very different then using soft pastels. You have to be much more exact, and if you make a mistake it shows!

I am going to continue to work on this painting tonight and tomorrow. I will show you all as the stages progress.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Painting by: Tracy Jo"Shades of my spirit and soul"

I normally do not paint in an abstract fashion. Most of the time I have a hard time painting abstract because it pushes my creativity in ways that are very uncomfortable for me. However I was compelled to do so today.

A person wrote me saying that they would like to see me paint my past. They wanted me to paint the feelings i had felt, because they felt these paintings might be some of my best work.

My past has a lot of pain in it. Lots of anger, times of danger, feelings of sorrow, and feelings of a deep pain that is very hard to explain to others.

I would say my past is very colorful.

I have been afraid to paint my past because I do not want to be pulled back into a depression that was so dark, so full of turmoil and deep felt pain. It has taken me years to heal, and I was afraid that if I allowed myself to paint that time of my life that I would be pulled back into that place of darkness.

This morning while in prayer I felt God talking with me, telling me that yes i have felt lots of pain, but through all that pain God had been keeping his eye on me. He has sat with me, wrapped his arms around me, and kept me from being pulled down roads that only evil prevailed. Evil did try, but God brought me through that time of deep felt pain and anger. He showed me the light that surrounded the darkness. He also showed me lots of color.... Colors of not only my soul, but of my spirit. He showed me a picture in my mind of such beauty, that not putting it on canvas was truly not an option. So picking up my brush, I started painting the colors and shades of my soul. Colors of not only my past, but of the here and now.

Those colors from my soul combined with my spirit, has become who I am as a person today. I stood back and was in true awe, I saw not only my soul, but the entire me!

As I looked at this painting of color I saw two women, one young and one older right there in the colors. I decided to slightly outline them. There is a woman in the color green, a young girl almost. She is praying if you look closely.

The one on the right hand side was more obvious and was in the red, a woman who actually looks calm and at peace while in that color. Red is a color that represents anger, deep hurt, and pain. It is a danger color. Yet the woman looks very calm. I almost thought i should change her. I could not though because I believe she is calm and peaceful because God was shinning light down into my soul while I was in that awful time in my life.

I sat mesmerized because i was looking at my soul.

I hope you enjoy seeing it also. I am trying to decide if it is done before I sign the painting....

Please feel free to comment. I love to hear what others see and feel while looking at my work. The input is very helpful.

I have five paintings in my mind. I need to lock myself away for a few days in my studio to get these creations out of my soul. If they are any good I will share! Wanted everyone to know that I am still around and doing ok.

Monday, October 6, 2008

I have been pretty bad at posting anything personal of late here on my blog. This is mainly because i was detoxing lead out of my system once again, and this time around it had made me pretty sick. I felt i had nothing positive to share, and all i really wanted to do was disappear and not talk about how bad i was feeling.

I am finally done with the major detoxing part of the program! yayyyyy. So now i will be doing a very light detox program in order to try and keep toxins from rebuilding in my body.

The moment i stopped the major detox i have gotten busy painting. I am working on a series of three painting's this time around. I want to paint a continued woodland snow scene as a practice run for the huge woodland scene i am planning for my great room.

I am having so much fun painting this series. I am so excited about them. So far i love how they are turning out. The picture i posted is just the start of my work on these paintings. I still have so much to add on it. It will have some greenery, and in the background i will add some bushes, as well as near the trees I plan on painting a fox sitting or playing among the trees. I will then move on to the second painting and third where i will continue on with the same kind of trees, and theme, and hopefully add a deer, and a owl. The last step will be making the paintings appear as if it is actually snowing.

I could not take a good picture of the painting because once again i took it with my phone cam, so it does not show how soft or how real the trees look. (Maybe i need to ask for a camera for Christmas? laughs)

When looking at the painting in person one actually gets a sense of not only peace, but happiness. I believe that this set of three paintings i am doing will be some of my best work.

Other then painting, I found out this week that my general doctor in this area went out of business with out telling me! I found this out the hard way when i reordered some medicine i have been taking for 15 years and the pharmacist denied the order! I called the doctors office and found out i now have a new doctor who does not prescribe the med i need! This new doctor also does not do something as basic as clean ears! She denied me treatment! I was in shock. All i could think of is are you a doctor????? lol I have never heard of such a thing! Sooooo now i am looking for a new doctor. I am will most likely have to look hours and hours away, because in my area there are no doctors that treat fibro, lead poisoning or specialize in my bleeding disorder. What upsets me most is i that this new doctor i just went to was more then willing to take a chance with my health and make me go cold turkey of the med i was taking for 15 years. I finally looked her straight in the eye and said to her i can understand you not wanting to prescribe this med for me, but....... are you willing to let me go through major withdrawals??? Are you willing to have me call you while i am going through these major withdrawals????? What do you recommend me doing to deal with the withdrawals? She finally gave in and said fine I will prescribe you one month of the med. So I have one month to find a doctor! In the mean time i am cutting back slowly on my medicine just in case i can not get in to see a doctor in time.

The one good thing that came out of this visit to the doctors office is that i saw a huge sign advertising a new YMCA in my area! They are going to start water aerobics class three days a week, starting next Monday! I have decided to join the class. This is the one form of exercise that has been recommended for me to do since being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. This is the first time i have seen a class offered in my area! My area is very rural. I need to lose weight so badly, and i am hoping this class will help get rid of the pounds, or at least help my health problems some! I am very determined to lose this weight. In fact i am so determined that on the top right side of my blog i put a widget that shares how i am doing with losing the amount i need to lose to be considered healthy! It was a huge step for me because i do not like others seeing just how much i need to lose! I am hoping that talking about my weight here on my blog, I will get some encouragement from you my blogger friends. The class will be on Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays. I am pretty excited about the class.

A little about why i have gained so much weight. My doctors have told me it is not because I eat the wrong foods, or eat to much. My eating habits are not the reason for my weight gain. I have gained weight because of the lead in my body has messed up my thyroid and metabolism! My thyroid is way out of wack, and i do not absorb the natural chemicals my body makes in order for my metabolism to work right.

The goal for my doctors have not been about my weight, but getting the lead out of my body so my body will work normal again.

However..... I am totally frustrated at how much i now weigh! I feel so fat! I feel unattractive, and it depresses me when i look at myself in the mirror. I am hoping that by adding this exercise class, it will at least give me peace of mind that i am doing all i can to be healthy. I am hoping that it will help give me peace of mind that this weight gain is not my fault! Even though the doctors keep telling me it is not my fault, and not to worry about it so much, seeing the pounds keep adding on is frustrating me!

So i am eating right, I am following the doctors regarding my detox program and now i will be exercising consistently. I am hoping I will know deep in my heart that I am doing all the right things........Even if i do not lose.... I will know that I am doing all the right things.

That is about it that has been happening in my little world. Haha ok it is a lot!

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About Me

I am a woman who is a wife, a mother, and an artist. I have a deep faith in Jesus and try to show this in all that I do. I have a few illnesses that I struggle with, but i try not to focus on them. This website is a place for me to just be me and share what ever might inspire me during my day.
Please check out my new painting site and see all of my latest works.

My other web site to order prints of my works.

The weather in my area.

My Lily Girl

Seek and you shall see

Picture Taken by Mehdi Adilian

Join the 9-12 Project

I believe in the 9/12 project

The 9/12

The 9 Principles

1.

America Is Good.

2.

I believe in God and He is the Center of my Life.

God “The propitious smiles of Heaven can never beexpected on a nation that disregards the eternal rulesof order and right which Heaven itself has ordained.”from George Washington’s first Inaugural address.

3.

I must always try to be a more honest personthan I was yesterday.

Honesty “I hope that I shall always possess firmnessand virtue enough to maintain what I consider tobe the most enviable of all titles, the characterof an honest man.” George Washington

4.

The family is sacred. My spouse and I are theultimate authority, not the government.

Marriage/Family “It is in the love of one’s family onlythat heartfelt happiness is known. By a law of our nature, we cannot be happy without the endearing connections of a family.” Thomas Jefferson

5.

If you break the law you pay the penalty.Justice is blind and no one is above it.

Justice “I deem one of the essential principles of ourgovernment… equal and exact justice to all men of whatever state or persuasion, religious or political.” Thomas Jefferson

6.

I have a right to life, liberty and pursuit ofhappiness, but there is no guarantee of equalresults.

Life, Liberty, & The Pursuit of Happiness “Everyone has a natural right to choose that vocationin life which he thinks most likely to give him comfortablesubsistence.” Thomas Jefferson

7.

I work hard for what I have and I will share it withwho I want to. Government cannot force me to becharitable.

Charity “It is not everyone who asketh that deservethcharity; all however, are worth of the inquiry or thedeserving may suffer.” George Washington

8.

It is not un-American for me to disagree withauthority or to share my personal opinion.

On your right to disagree “In a free and republicangovernment, you cannot restrain the voice of themultitude; every man will speak as he thinks, or moreproperly without thinking.” George Washington

9.

The government works for me. I do not answer tothem, they answer to me.

Who works for whom? “I consider the people whoconstitute a society or a nation as the source of allauthority in that nation.” Thomas Jefferson