Ironing out wrinkles for the perfect photo

ALLISTON - I don’t believe any product that promises to erase years from your face.

There is no cream or serum or makeup that can turn back time. Even surgery doesn’t really do the trick.

That being said – there is a solution if you really want to look younger.

Have your portrait taken.

A good photographer can literally wipe off years.

Gord and I had our portrait taken last month. I had thought about doing it back in July for our wedding anniversary but we didn’t quite get around to it until November.

However once it was finally booked I sprang into action.

Decisions had to be made.

I cornered Gord while he was shaving.

“Do you think I should wear a dress or something more casual? We could go the semi-formal route. What about a suit? Would you be alright wearing a suit? Do you think sequins would be too much? I don’t mean on your suit. For me. Maybe a little at the neckline? Or polar opposite and we wear jeans and T-shirts... All black? Should we colour match? What about jewelry?”

Gord stood frozen with his razor hovering above his chin.

“Why aren’t you moving?” I asked.

“I love you but think the odds of accidentally cutting myself just rose 50 per cent.”

I decided on basic black.

It took awhile but I found Gord again.

“I’m going to hold up five black tops. On a scale of one to 10 I need you to rate how skinny each one makes look. Keeping in mind that you are allowed to award half points for upper arm slimming effect, or freckle fading sheen. OK? Go!”

The afternoon of the portrait sitting we debated whether to drive or walk to Steingards.

“It’s around the corner,” Gord said as we got on our jackets.

I pointed to my head.

“You can only ask so much of a can of hairspray. It’s pretty windy out.”

We drove.

Once we were at the studio, Phil ushered us downstairs and took a series of shots. We sat up straight. We smiled. We leaned towards each other. We asked about digitally retouching the slightly chipped nail polish on one finger. (That may have just been me.)

Back upstairs we watched as Phil uploaded the pictures on to his computer. We chose the one we liked the best and then the fun really began.

Phil started to fix a few little imperfections and I started to make suggestions.

“Could you take a few of my laugh lines out? Or all of them? Great. And Gord’s wrinkles. Could we delete those too?”

“Hey...”

“Gord I love your wrinkles. They are perfect wrinkles. It’s just photography portrait in a nice frame displayed on the wall-wise, it might look better if we looked slightly less realistic.”

“I have earned every one of my wrinkles. I like them.”

“I do too sweetie. Keep going Phil.”

Phil smoothed and tucked, and flat out erased until I was happy.

The portrait looked wonderful.

Recently I picked up the finished product and that night – because it was late and things seem like a good idea when you’re tired – I emailed it to family and friends.

“You two look like you’re still in high school!” was the general response.