Bieber in Fire Island Hideout After Girl Almost Touched Him!

Staff for the country's hottest female singer, Justin Bieber, announced that the hideous creature that nearly broke through his security staff and touched him was a 12-year-old girl.

Sources spoke to the 12-year-old's father, and learned that the security breach in the Bahamas was all over her wanting a hug.

Fortunately, Justin's all-male security team used less-than-lethal TASERs and a few well-placed kicks to the 7th grader's throat just in time. The 12-year-old is listed in critical condition in the Anna Nicole Smtih Memorial Hospital in the Bahamas.

"I don't mind if my fans touch me," said Bieber, while waiting for his Flinstones Chewable AZT prescription to be filled. "Shucks, most of my fans offer to check me for a hernia until my pee-pee sneezes."

"But they are never... Bleech... GIRLS!!!"

Allegedly.

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