As a New Yorker cover "satirically" implies Obama is a devout Islam-follower with a terrorist for a wife, look back on America's rich tradition of strange insinuations about our beloved leaders.

Barack Obama may be frustrated with the misinformation around his presidential candidacy, given that an impressive number of voters believe he is a whitey-bashing Muslim with an inexplicable hatred of our pledge of allegiance and flag pins. May he take solace in knowing people who won the office faced even more provocative charges.

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John Adams

British Booty Buyer

The allegation was Adams sent his running mate to England to acquire four tarts to pleasure the ticket. This was ridiculous, because the man was a half-step from being a eunuch in a surprisingly swingin' time. Despite being famously sensitive — he signed the Alien and Sedition Acts and gave himself the power to prosecute anyone unpatriotic enough to speak against his government — Adams failed to retaliate. Why? Probably because even a leader this paranoid realized there are some things the public won't believe. When other Founding Fathers like Alexander Hamilton were all but throwing key parties, the Duke of Braintree was universally known to be a man who proudly wrote in his diary about his celibacy before marriage — "My children may be assured that no illegitimate son or daughter exists!" — and subjected himself to a second extended stay on the sexually inactive list when he represented America in Europe while wife Abigail remained in Massachusetts for nearly nine years.

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Franklin Pierce

One Plastered President

Ulysses S. Grant is famous for being a drunk, but its inevitably presented in a fun, Norm from Cheers-esque way (e.g., Lincoln quipping that if Grant was on the sauce they should "send a barrel of it to my other generals"). Franklin Pierce is not such a figure. Elected to Congress in 1832 from New Hampshire, he started drinking to deal with the isolation he felt in Washington and soon was in desperate need of help. He received it from a good woman who went on to become his wife. Having regained control of his life, he served as a brigadier-general during the Mexican-American War and took the presidency in 1852. Yes, its the classic inspirational A.A. story, only this one takes a nasty twist. Political opponents refused to let him forget his imbibing, proclaiming him the victor of "many a hard-fought bottle," accusing him of cowardice under fire and nicknaming him the "Fainting General." Pierce's lone term failed to win over his enemies and drove away friends — his own party declined to renominate him. Would Pierce respond to this setback by again using alcohol as a crutch? And how! He reportedly declared, "Theres nothing left to do but get drunk" and did just that, alienating his missus and eventually dying of cirrhosis of the liver.

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James Buchanan

The President and His "Wife"

If you believe where theres smoke theres fire, then James Buchanan could be a nine-alarm disco inferno. The man the Democrats picked to succeed Franklin Pierce never married. He was engaged once — a mere 37 years before his election — only to have his fiancée abruptly break off the relationship and die (mostly likely she killed herself). How did Buchanan deal with the lonely four decades between that tragedy and the White House? By spending time with his soul mate, William Rufus De Vane King, a fellow senator and his roommate for 23 years. While men sharing rooms was a more common practice in the 1800s, there was something peculiar about this even to contemporaries, who called King "Aunt Fancy," Buchanans "better half," and "Mrs. B" (former President Andrew Jackson settled on the respectful "Miss Nancy"). Duty eventually tore them apart, as King was appointed minister to France and then elected vice president under Pierce. King died three years before Buchanan became president in 1853, and — in what is certainly a complete coincidence — remains the only VP never to wed. The King and Buchanan families destroyed much of their correspondence, but what survived is thoroughly PG-13. ("I am selfish enough to hope you will not be able to procure an associate who will cause you to feel no regret at our separation" is a perfectly heterosexual thing to write a fellow confirmed bachelor.)

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Warren G. Harding

From Bastards to Blackness

He was an entire season of Desperate Housewives incorporated into a single national chief executive. Harding carried on decade-long affair with his friends wife, fathered a bastard child with another friend's daughter, and appointed the first cabinet officer to go to jail while serving our nation. (Albert Fall leased government land to an oil company in exchange for a personal "loan" that carried no interest and had a, shall we say, vague payment plan.) Harding also gambled away some of the White House's collection of china and had a number of nervous breakdowns. But these pastimes remained largely unknown to the public and even much of his own party while Harding was in office — when asked by Republican officials if there was anything in his life that might disqualify him from the presidency, he replied nothing came to mind — yet another, potentially even more devastating scandal for a candidate in 1920 plagued him: rumors of African-American heritage. It was never proven or conclusively disproved, and the eternally evasive Harding addressed the matter in a surprisingly direct way, telling a reporter, "How do I know, Jim? One of my ancestors may have jumped the fence." Harding died in office (and may have been poisoned been his wife), leaving behind a legacy unlikely to be claimed by people of any race.

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Lyndon Johnson

"Hey, Hey, LBJ, How Many Family Members Have You Killed Today?"

Perhaps no president benefited more from the medias look-the-other-way attitude, as he engaged in antics ranging from some of the least subtle attempted adultery ever (at least one female houseguest alleged she was awakened by a man in her bedroom bellowing, "This is your president! Move over!") to doing American anatomy proud overseas (on a trip to Asia he reportedly exposed himself and mused his hosts probably werent used to seeing members that massive). Perhaps it balances out that, after his death, hes taken a continual press pounding and routinely faces allegations he was involved in John F. Kennedys assassination. The History Channel upped the ante when it suggested JFK wasnt LBJ's only victim: hed also offed his own sister. Despite their seemingly unimpeachable proof — for instance, a woman who claimed to be his mistress said shed heard stuff — the History Channel soon distanced itself from its own special, meaning theres no blood on the Texans hands (unless you count the tens of thousands who lost their lives in Vietnam).

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