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Resident Evil: The Final Chapter

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The first bars of the Wagner-by-death-metal theme to Resident Evil: The Final Chapter instill great confidence, as if declaring, “Step aside, this movie knows what it’s doing.” And it better, because this is the fourth time that director Paul W.S. Anderson has made an installment of this franchise with his wife/muse Milla Jovovich, the Dame Judi Dench of fanboy schlock (and that’s not even including two additional entries that starred Jovovich, but were helmed by other directors). There’s a brief recap about the particulars of this world, and how a virus cooked up by a scientist (Mark Simpson) to cure his daughter (Ever Anderson, Jovovich and Anderson’s own offspring) of progeria went, well, viral, and turned practically every resident of Earth into a zombie (giving new meaning to “we are the 99 percent”). But then the catch-up spiels on and on and on (not unlike the similar Cliffs Notes at the beginning of Underworld: Blood Wars), until finally our heroine Alice (Jovovich) introduc