John Kingsmill’s Footy Diary: Round 9 preview

In Adelaide’s rugged May, I’ve tipped the Crows
to lose against Sydney, Geelong and Carlton.
It’s been a successful ploy: I’ve lost my tipsbut we’ve won the games! That’s been small

fish for such joy but I’ve become reluctant
to change my bait. OK, this week I’m doing it.
I’m switching my tackle. I’m tipping Adelaide
to beat Collingwood at home. On the day,

I’ll buy a $20 ticket for Collingwood to beat
Adelaide by 21-40 at 5/1. That should save
my weekend from fracture if Adelaide slumps.
I admit that I’m a shallow footy fan; I lay bets

to buy emotional insurance. On the other hand,
the rain has set in in Adelaide tonight… a long slow
medium rain that’s set to continue until Sunday.
This will affect Adelaide’s speed of delivery,

the artistry in their forward handballs, their marking
up front. Skills dissolve in the wet; plans are washed
away. Then it’s only about hard bodies over the ball,
forcing the slippery piece of soap forward against its will.

If Dane Swan was playing this Saturday night, they’d beat
Adelaide in the wet. Maybe I should tip Collingwood
to win and back Adelaide at the stadium for $20 for 1-20
at 3/1. But, on the third hand, Adelaide has gone

stircrazy with the Crows’ recent form. In spite of the wet,
there’ll be 50,000 people there, screaming their lungs.
These Adelaide players love a rare big crowd;
Collingwood are accustomed to a mob but

they rarely travel. Who does this help? Oh, I don’t know.Help me, somebody. Tell me what to do.

Hughey has sent storms, floods and pestilence to plague the Abbot/Gillard/Thomson infected East. Who plays best in the mud and pestilence? Must check the breeding. Here’s an omen. By Our Craigie Boy out of Flaming Red. Bulldog Boy will get off the leash tonight and savage those Cats.
I have it on the best authority from Tin Arse Gigacz and Mr Wrap – who is sunning himself in PNG offering constitutional advice to the highest bidder.
Anyway Harms deserves to suffer for tipping the Dockers. Like all Catters he is living in the past. As Ballantyne sweetly whispered in Scarlo’s ear “this is no country for old men”.
2 degree mornings and 27 degree lunches out west. Crystal clear desert weather. Suffer.

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