News & Commentary

Indulgences

The Dogs That Didn’t Bark

If power, as an unindicted war criminal once said, is the ultimate aphrodisiac, there are a lot of Republicans sucking Donald Trump’s cock right now.

And swallowing.

Hard.

You may presume an unpublished appendix to this piece, cataloguing Republicans who said only months ago that Donald Trump was a grave threat to the Republic, and who now are all too happy to collapse to their knees and pucker up, giddy to suckle at the fount of authority they’re eager to wield.

This sadly comes — er, sorry — as no surprise. From the Southern Strategy to Welfare Queens to Gay Marriage, Republicans have consistently and cynically exploited social divisions for personal power, usually at the benefit of their wealthy patrons, and to the detriment of their constituents. Their hypocrisy would be stunning, were it not a condition of their existence for a half-century.

We’ve long known that Republicans are all too happy to sell out their countrymen. What does stun us is how willing they are to sell out their country, all for a taste of Donald Trump’s sweet jizz.

In the world we thought we lived in, a CIA assessment that Russia was not only trying to monkeywrench an American election, but strongly favored one candidate — even though it possessed incriminating messages from both — would be the subject of sustained outrage. Period. Patriotism would smother partisanship. Acts of War would be declared. This is America’s argument. You stay out of it.

Instead, suspicions of foreign involvement in our elections were dismissed when they first arose, and are likely to be dismissed now that conclusions have been reached.

Dismissed. By Republicans. Who won’t hear the truth because their heads are enveloped in Donald Trump’s mighty thighs.

Just as there’s a word for those who take power without the consent of the governed, there’s another word for those who betray their own country.

@mellbell:
True, I was mean. They’re also smarter and better human beings than Perry.

mellbell

3:52 pm • Tuesday • December 13, 2016

@nojo: Rubio, McCain, and Graham are now all on record as having varying degrees of misgivings about Tillerson, but I can’t tell if they’re blowing smoke or what. Rubio and McCain were both just reelected easily, and Graham was reelected in 2014 with over 50 percent of the vote in a 4-way race, so it’s not clear to me why they feel the need to preemptively create daylight between themselves and Trump. Not to mention that the 2018 Senate elections should be a cakewalk for Republicans (with the possible exception of Heller in Nevada). All told, it’s hard to imagine the hearings being particularly contentious for anyone.

nojo

4:18 pm • Tuesday • December 13, 2016

@mellbell: Rand Paul may raise a fuss, unless I’m confusing his comments with some other nominee.

Rubio I don’t trust at all, but I’m curious to see how McCain and Lindsey play out on this and other issues. They haven’t shown an inclination to roll — yet — but words now are easily forgotten a month from now. We’ll have to see.

BAY LAKE, FL—Touting the new property’s wide variety of unique and imaginative attractions, representatives from the Walt Disney World Resort announced Monday the opening of Ordeal Kingdom, a new theme park specifically designed for full-scale family meltdowns.

Situated between Epcot and the Magic Kingdom, the 350-acre property reportedly incorporates many of the most aggravating elements of Disney’s other parks and expands them into a creative and fully immersive world of irritation, which is said to include the longest lines in the entire resort, a convoluted layout that is only depicted in indecipherable cartoon maps that are not to scale, and 150 percent higher prices. According to park director Jacob Bartlett, Ordeal Kingdom’s specialized combination of features will ensure a slowly building resentment among visiting families, eventually resulting in a dramatic public outburst followed by a silent walk back to the car.

“No trip to Disney is complete without everyone in your party losing all emotional self-control,” Bartlett continued. “And at Ordeal Kingdom, we promise that all your wildest family blowups will come to life!”

¡Andrew!

10:03 pm • Tuesday • December 13, 2016

I’m addicted to Empire, and Sierra McClain recently rocked the best song of the season. Cannot. Stop. Dancin’. I wonder what it must be like to be this insanely talented.

Did the US government ever have a contingency plan in case a psychopathic demagogue were elected president? That seems like something they would’ve cooked up in the paranoia-crazed 1950s, though it would’ve been anti-communist at the time. A casual internet search has revealed nothing.

nojo

6:33 pm • Wednesday • December 14, 2016

@¡Andrew!: Well, Nixon, but as you note, they would have been looking for Lefty Demagogues. Hoover/MLK comes to mind.

DElurker

4:32 pm • Thursday • December 15, 2016

What’s going on in North Carolina is interesting. The legislature is stripping the power of the Governor before the new Dem Governor is sworn in. They seem to be going after control of the elections first followed by some other powers.

Dahlia Lithwick’s op-ed in the NYT yesterday made the point clearly that Democrats play by the rules whereas Republicans ignore the rules. Or, IOW, Dems bring a wiffle-bat to a gun battle. Where’s a hard-ass fighter or pit-bull like LBJ? Even Schumer has been silent.

@¡Andrew!: The contingency plan was/is the Electoral College. Unfortunately they seem to think their role is to be a rubber stamp.

¡Andrew!

10:42 am • Friday • December 16, 2016

In addition to financial contributions to the ACLU and other groups, this week I donated my car to the Northwest Immigrant Rights Project. A company out of California actually coordinates the process, and they made it super easy. They arrange for the car to be auctioned, so the charity receives a check for the proceeds and we get a tax deduction. If you’ve ever considered this as another method to help those that need it most, I highly recommend it.

¡Andrew!

10:51 am • Friday • December 16, 2016

I’ve gone on a news break again for my own mental health. It’s been really sickening seeing one national figure after another kiss President Twitter Troll’s ass instead of speaking out against him on behalf of those of us who have the most to lose under the kleptocratic RepubliKKKan dictatorship.

Unless of course that was some kind of Illuminati signal code for You-Know-What, in which case I take it back.

¡Andrew!

11:04 am • Friday • December 16, 2016

@SanFranLefty: Schumer has his head so far up Wall Street’s a$$ that trying to reason with him will be like sending signals to a sunken diving bell. I expect that the Dems will be pathetic quislings once again, with a few notable yet ultimately ineffective exceptions.

Goldman Sachs makes munnie by goading suckers to invest all of their life savings at the top of a fraud for huge fees, then betting against them and making a bundle when the scam implodes. The fact that they’ll be running the Treasury and the entire eCONomy like history’s greatest pump-and-dump scheme is the worst of all. Save every dollar that you can, cuz we’re in for a wild ride enseguida.

DElurker

11:45 am • Friday • December 16, 2016

On a positive note Joe Apraio announced that he was dropping his investigation of Obama’s citizenship. Thought you might like to know.

SanFranLefty

4:39 pm • Sunday • December 18, 2016

@¡Andrew!: At least my governor Moonbeam is putting up a fight. This speech is classic Jerry – he’s ignoring his written speech (throwing it on the ground around 13:00), making off-the-cuff remarks complete with Latin references, and showing off his stylish 1983 $5 Casio digital watch when he waves his arm. Mr. SFL was at this conference and said that Jerry had the earth scientists all fired up.

@DElurker: One of the few bright spots of this 2016 election was him finally losing.

Dodgerblue

11:22 pm • Sunday • December 18, 2016

@SanFranLefty: I would prefer that Jerry not taunt the feds, but instead quietly sabotage them.

SanFranLefty

1:18 am • Monday • December 19, 2016

@Dodgerblue: True that but never underestimate the energy of previously politically apathetic earth scientists who finally got a ginormous fire lit under their collective asses.

¡Andrew!

9:28 pm • Thursday • December 22, 2016

@SanFranLefty: Governor Jay Inslee, along with a host of Democratic lawmakers and human rights activists, held a press conference in which they declared Washington state a Hate Free Zone. He also proposed a carbon tax and a capital gains tax. It may not seem like much, but words matter and every little bit helps.