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The morning and evening commute is bad enough – you’re tired, moody and the last thing you want is to be stuck on a bus in the middle of rush hour traffic.

But if it weren’t for some of your fellow commuters, your bus experience would be far more bearable. Can you imagine a bus journey bereft of shouting kids, loud music, pungent aromas, bags on seats, bumping and jostling and PDAs? No, me neither.

If you dread the journey purely for your travelling neighbours, then you aren’t alone. If you don’t – then you’re probably one of them.

Here are the 15 people you will find on many a bus journey who will leave you with an anxious twitch by the end of your commute.

The person who won’t give up their seat – for ANYONE.

The elderly, pregnant women and someone using a stick can go and whistle – there is no way that this chap is freeing up a seat. And, while it is important to remember that the need for a seat isn’t always obvious, there are always those obnoxious ones who clearly are just being stubborn.

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The screaming kid – and the oblivious parent

It’s fine, please allow your child to keep kicking my leg, screaming at the top of their lungs and pressing the bell repeatedly so we stop when no-one needs to get off. Beating level 223 on Candy Crush is way more of a priority.

The man spreader

While it’s a treat for everyone to get a full view of your enviable bulge, sometimes we quite enjoy a bit of personal space when we’re sitting beside you. Fancy just closing the chasm just a little bit?

The gangs of schoolkids

Oh isn’t half term amazing? When there are no gaggles of uniformed teens scowling, playing music aloud on their mobiles and swearing nastily about the member of their gang who isn’t in earshot.

The one who can’t wait to get stuck into their dinner

It’s a great job that I adore the smell of cooked eggs and fish. Else I’d be really unhappy with you noisily tucking into your messy grub right beside me.

The one who doesn’t understand music volume

You might as well just unplug their headphones for all of the use that they are. Somehow the muffled din of music through the headphones is actually worse than if they were simply playing it through a speaker.

The one who coughs without covering their mouths

Sharing is caring is a mantra that is defunct when it comes to germs, mate. Tissues are fairly cheap and easy to come by.

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The one who makes you step over them to get a seat

They want the aisle seat and will not shuffle across for you. Nor will they move their legs to make the obstacle course any easier. When you inevitably trod on their toes or hit their face with your bag as you pass, you’re the one who apologises. Even though you’re thinking that it serves them f***ing right.

The one who thinks their bag has had a more tiring day than you

How dare you assume that their backpack could be residing on their lap. You may have done a ten hour day, but you aren’t getting that seat.

The one who argues with the bus driver

They insist that there is DEFINITELY money on their Oyster card and they moan about how they have been waiting an entire 5 minutes for the bus. It may provide some entertainment for commuters who are missing Jeremy Kyle but most of us have places to get to.

The one who sleeps on your shoulder

Cute. Until they snore and dribble or you have to get up and wonder how best to wake them.

The one whose phone call is super important

They’re a big wig down at the biscuit factory and everyone on the bus must know that today’s meeting will be led by them.

The couple who can’t wait to get home

You know the pair who have just discovered sex and think that the most erotic place to begin their haphazard foreplay is in the seat opposite you. Hey, some people pay good money to watch this kind of thing. Not you though. It’s just rank.

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The one who always has to be first

Queuing is a proud British tradition, until it comes to boarding a bus. The desperate scrum to be the first on always sees more than one casualty and that guy who has been lurking at the back for at least a minute less waiting time than you will soon be nudging you aside with a swift elbow to the face. Manners are great, aren’t they?

The one who totally doesn’t belong there

The snooty person who has clearly been forced to do this public transport thing as her car is in the garage and she has a meeting on the outside of town. She will clutch her bag so close that it might pass through her ribs and her displeasured face will carry that ‘dung under nostril’ look.

You can’t quite blame her as she is witnessing the same kinds of folk that you detest but you can’t help feeling a bit outraged by her snobbery.

BUT…The one who you fall in love with

Not everyone is horrendous – often you will share a gaze with a stranger and your heart will ache in a way that only public transport love can cause. It’s a fleeting lust but the prospect of this being the start of a big rom com adventure for you both makes the journey more interesting.