And Chuck (C.R.S.) just turned ancient. He's one of the oldest people I've ever met. To steal some burns from TV shows and the like:

Chuck is so old....

- his high school prom theme was fire
- his birthstone is lava
- his first portrait is on a cave wall in France
- his first car was a chariot
- his first Christmas was the first Christmas
- he lit the fuse for the Big Bang
- his birth certificate has expired
- the candles on his birthday cake are the cause for global warming
- he farts dust
- he sat next to Jesus in school
- when he was young, rainbows were black and white
- his birth certificate has Roman numerals
- the movie Jurassic Park brought back memories
- he called the cops when David and Goliath started fighting
- he remembers when the Grand Canyon was a ditch
- he was a waiter at the Last Supper
- when he was born the Dead Sea had just gotten sick

Unrelated to his age....
- he was so ugly when he was born that his birth certificate was an apology from the condom manufacturer