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Like Benjamin Franklin, I’ve always believed it matters who you surround yourself with.

Nutritionists tell us: “You are what you eat.” We’re also what we hear. The people you surround yourself with—those you interact with regularly—have a huge impact on you.

To be successful, you must surround yourself with the right people.

But I’m not talking about financial success or powerful people, necessarily. Financial success is only a small part of how we should view someone’s life.

When I choose my friends, I look for four main qualities that tell me this person is worth knowing, and someone I want to be around...

First: My Friends Treat Everyone Well

This quality is probably the one I look for most in people.

Not everyone has this quality: Most people treat their bosses well, or are nice to people they think can help. Most people treat their peers well, or people like them—same education, same neighborhood, same lifestyle. But what about the others—the “outsiders”? Not everyone treats them well.

Here’s something I got from my dad: You’ll find out all you need to know about somebody by how they treat people they don’t consider important. If we’re having dinner together and you treat the waiter poorly, I don’t want to know you. If you talk about people behind their backs, I don’t want to know you, either.

It’s not worth surrounding myself with that kind of negativity and vileness. Nor do I want to be associated with it, or passively condone it.

I recommend you avoid such people, too.

Second: My Friends Have A Sense Of Humor

They’re fun. You want to be around them.

You have to be able to laugh at this crazy world—whatever circumstances you land in. When things go wrong, some people flip out, start screaming, and look for scapegoats. But other people laugh and say, “Isn’t that something?” They calm people down and get on with things.

I’m sure you can guess which type of person I want to be around.

Sometimes, things get stressful—especially in business. I like to be around people who can shake off the stress and take some downtime—grab a bite to eat together and laugh about something.

A sense of humor will get you through life. If you find someone like that, hold on to them.

Third: My Friends Are Interesting

This statement may seem frivolous, but it’s not: Life is short—too short to just work and mow the lawn.

Being around people who are living life encourages me to do the same.

When I ask one of my friends, “What's new?” there is actually something new—something interesting. Something worth hearing.

Friends like that also want to know what’s new with you. And when they ask, they really want to know.

Friends like that make you want to live fully. They make you a more complete person.

Fourth: My Friends Celebrate Other People's Success

Recently I had dinner with a friend. His mother told him people rarely want you to be more successful than they are.

I love hearing other people’s success stories. But people can be uncomfortable when they talk about their success: They don’t want to seem boastful, or perhaps they think their success will make you feel bad.

But I want to hear that things are working out well for them—and to hear they’re happy with how their life’s turning out. I’m thrilled if they’re achieving their dreams.

So many people don’t want to hear about others’ success: Tell them a success story, and they immediately “one-up” it with one of their own, or they find a reason to criticize or recast the success story in a negative light.

Perhaps it’s because they’re not completely satisfied with their own life, so they’re constantly comparing their own lives to those of others. They need to know they’re more successful than their friends.

I want to be around people who are so grounded in the value of their own lives that the success of others isn’t a threat to their own wellbeing.

The Bottom Line

The people you surround yourself with matter. They generate the opinions, humor and points of view that your mind is continuously subject to.

The people you’re friends with change—even create—who you are. And vice-versa.

My friends treat people well, have a sense of humor, are interesting, and celebrate the success of others. Living in their presence makes me a better and more successful person.

I suggest you find friends that do the same. And be that friend to others.

Tom joined NetApp in 1994 and was responsible for sales until becoming president in 2000. In 2009, he became vice chairman. Tom has given talks on the power of corporate…

Tom joined NetApp in 1994 and was responsible for sales until becoming president in 2000. In 2009, he became vice chairman. Tom has given talks on the power of corporate culture and leadership all over the world to people in such diverse organizations as the U.S. Marine Corps, West Point, CIO forums, Oracle's Leaders Circle, and Stanford University. In 2009 he was the corecipient with NetApp Chairman Dan Warmenhoven of the Morgan Stanley Leadership Award for Global Commerce. Tom holds a BA degree from the University of Notre Dame and is an alumnus of Stanford University's Executive Business Program. In September 2000 Notre Dame renamed its business school the Mendoza College of Business after an endowment made by Tom and Kathy Mendoza.