_ay 4 – Obe_ience _ay

01.12 (_ay 4) – Obe_ience _ay – (There’s a lot to this one, so bear with me) Follow these rules: Speak extra lou_ to people with names that begin with R, walk slower if shorter than the person walking next to you, refuse to answer any question where the wor_s “you” and “with” are use_, _o not accept change if it’s less than $0.30, Pretent not to see people wearing re_, stay in_oors when clou_s are hea_ing east or south, cross the roa_ whenever a passerby makes eye contact, or_er the 5th most expensive item on the menu, intro_uce yourself to anyone name_ Bob, _rive at exactly 36 miles an hour, pick up the phone after 5 rings, _on’t use the letter “_”, use only the buttons on the top
half of your remote control, _on’t use any wor_s invente_ after 1979, speak to a minimum of 9 people per hour, chew every mouthful 12 times before swallowing, & leave the room if anyone with the same first name as you is mentione_.

Go_ _amn. To_ay was a rough one. I actually ha_ to write all of these things _own on a cheat sheet. Let’s go _own the list, shall we?

1. Speak extra lou_ to people with names that begin with R – I _i_n’t run into anyone else with an R name. Weir_, huh?
2. Walk slower if shorter than the person walking next to you – this one was quite funny because I work with two pre-teen ki_s. It made things _ifficult, because I usually have to walk faster than them to keep them moving. They both like to _illy _ally. But I was able to acomplish this goal by leaving before they _i_, and arriving after they _i_.
3. Refuse to answer any question where the wor_s “you” and “with” are use_ – I came to the realization that these woul_ have been a lot more fun if I worke_ in an office or something, because I only really work with two little boys. An_ I’m sick, so I _i_n’t leave the house except to go to work. But I explaine_ to Nick and Gabe that I would not answer any questions that ha_ “you” or “with” in them. So it was pretty fun for them as well.
4. _o not accept change if it’s less than $0.30 – I _i_n’t buy shit to_ay.
5. Pretent not to see people wearing re_ – This one was hilarious, because Ingri_ wears a lot of re_. She got really pisse_ off until she actually change_ her clothes.
6. Stay in_oors when clou_s are hea_ing east or south – luckily the clou_s were moving in a northern _irection today…I even looke_ it up on weather.com.
7. Cross the roa_ whenever a passerby makes eye contact – I _i_n’t walk on any si_ewalks to_ay.
8. Or_er the 5th most expensive item on the menu – I wish I weren’t sick. Maybe I’ll _o this one on another _ay. It soun_e_ fun.
9. Intro_uce yourself to anyone named Bob – _oes this one mean that you have to intro_uce yourself lou_ly, ’cause Bob is short for Robert? I _i_n’t see anyone named Bob to_ay, but I looke_.
10. _rive at exactly 36 miles an hour – I _i_ this for a while. I trie_ to keep to roa_s that the spee_ limit was somewhere aroun_ the 30-45 range…but then I got to the highway. I kept my emergency blinkers on & staye_ in the slow lane, but then I hit a traffic jam…which only allowe_ me to travel at 15-20 miles an hour. So I faile_ that one.
11. Pick up the phone after 5 rings – You see, my answering machine picks up after four rings, so I just _i_n’t answer the phone to_ay.

12. _on’t use the letter “_” – This one was really har_. It says “_on’t use the letter ‘_'”…_oes that mean in speach as well? I trie_ as har_ as I coul_, but it meant that I coul_n’t use a lot of wor_s I’m use_ to using. I _i_ leave the _ off of my signature on my time sheet, and I trie_ to leave the _’s out of any thing I type_, but I fucke_ up and wrote Pete Huff a message that use_ a _. _amn it. I trie_ to sell a Ninten_o relate_ item on craigslist. I got an email from an intereste_ party. Here’s the response I sent him.
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I appologize in a_vance…the letter after ‘C’ _oesn’t seem to be working on my keyboar_. That soun_s fine to me, Brian. You’re the first person to email me, so they’re yours. What time on fri_ay would you like to pick them up? I live on Park Ave and 33r_, near Pow_erhorn Park. My sche_uel is a little funny on Fri_ay, so, let me know when you’re available, an_ I’ll try to work it out.
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13. Use only the buttons on the top half of your remote control – I _i_n’t watch any TV to_ay, but I _i_ turn on the _V_ player once just so I coul_ say that I use_ only the top half of my remote.
14. _on’t use any wor_s invente_ after 1979 – Another Har_ one. I really trie_, but I’m SURE I slippe_ up every now an_ again.
15. Speak to a minimum of 9 people per hour – Utter failure.
16. Chew every mouthful 12 times before swallowing – Total success.
17. Leave the room if anyone with the same first name as you is mentione_. I _on’t really know anyone else name_ Nate…& no one else I know _oes either. So I _i_n’t have to leave the room. Hell Yeah.

So I succee_ on some of these, but nowhere near all of them. Unfortunately, I will only be getting two points to_ay. At least tomorrow will be easy.