Professional mom seeking clarity, balance and a well deserved glass of wine.

The Little Voice(s) Inside My Head

I love that song by Don Henley, “The Boys of Summer” that goes: “…A little voice inside my head said, “Don’t look back, you can never look back”.

Yeah, I have a little voice inside my head. Actually, I think there’s more than one, but we’ll just focus on the inner mean girl for now. (I really have to call a shrink to sort out the rest) I’ve talked about her before, but I have an update so I thought I’d share. I sent her on vacation at the behest of my mentor/business coach. It worked for awhile, but like a barn sour horse, she keeps coming back.

Through working with my mentor I realized that I GIVE her the power. I make her powerful. I give her a voice. Sadly, it can be deafening at times. I talk alot about getting her to shut the hell up and I am happy to report, I am learning some skills to make this happen (they don’t even involve a gag or gasoline).

STOP DROP AND ROLL
1. As soon as she starts in, just STOP! Stop whatever you’re doing and ask yourself, “Wait, would I talk this way to my kids?” The answer here (hopefully) is NO! So why am I talking to myself this way? So, I stop and say something kind to myself. And she’s quiet.

TAKE ACTION
2. Whenever I get down or worry because of “her”, I take action. Any kind of action. It can be to clean out a closet, do 50 situps, phone a friend, smile at someone. Anything at all, but take action. It changes the scenario immediately and I feel better. And she’s quiet.

SMILE
3. This seems so simple, but it really works. Just smile for a whole minute. And she’s quiet.

WHAT WOULD BYRON KATIE DO
4. Ask yourself these four very powerful questions: Is it true?

Can you absolutely know that it’s true?

How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?

Who would you be without the thought?

These questions work no matter what nonsense you’re telling yourself. Upset at your spouse…ask yourself the questions. You get unfrazzled real quick. It works! And, she’s quiet.

Funny, I was dropping my youngest off at summer day camp this morning and noticed a thin sexy mom talking to one of the teachers. My voice said to me, “Wow, wish I looked like her.” Then I started laughing at myself. My next thought was, if I was a therapist talking to a patient and they said this to me how would I counsel them. My own answer made me laugh even harder. I’d say, “Alright, so you want to look like her; why? Oh, because she’s got a great body and looks really confident. If you looked like her do you think you’d be happier? Really, truly? What would be different for you then? Would your problems and challenges melt away? No?! Is anyone at home complaining about the way you look? No?! Hmmmm. Then why would you want to look like her? She may be really unhappy and insecure inside. You’re only seeing the outside. It’s one dimension.