Duluth: Forget Topeka, we will offer Google our first-born children

In an attempt to secure their place as the proving ground for Google's 1 gigabit-per-second fiber optic broadband, the leaders of Topeka, Kansas temporarily changed that city's name to "Google, Kansas".

In order "to prevail in the Google pandering arms race" they're now offering to rename all first-born Duluthians "Google Fiber" (or Googlette for girls). Says the mayor, "Just because Topeka was da first to make an obnoxious symbolic gesture to suck up to da good folks der at Google doesn't mean dat we can't suck up even more."

It's worth noting that the apology to Topeka and assurance that this is just a joke that both precedes and follows the video is almost as funny as the video itself. Hopefully, two apologies will be enough to keep war from breaking out.

harold-I think the “bear” is Jason Jones from the Daily SHow, anyone else? And yeah, that was a pretty unusual Northern Minnesotan accent, jackie. Duluth doesn’t need no stinking Google donchya know, when we have the wreck of the Edmond Fitzgerald, and the really cool Paul Bunyon statue. And don’t know why I’m sayin’ we as I was from St. Paul.

Jackie: It’s a bit of a put-on, but that’s about right, with the Swedish/Finnish portion being predominant. The Irish whiff you’re getting is actually Western Canadian (Eh?), which has a bit of Scots and maybe a hint of Oirish mixed in; Duluth’s only a couple of highway hours from the Ontario border.

Variants of that accent used to be very common in the Upper Midwest, but nobody under the age of 90 sounds like that nowadays unless they’re doing so for effect; most of us now sound like the real mayor in the video.

Let the pandering race begin. My bet is that the next city offers the left nut of every male citizen.

I only wish that Google would come north of the border and help out us Canadians. I would certainly give my left nut for a reliable internet connection without all the bullshit caps and throttling that plagues Canadian ISPs.