A Real Judgement Free Zone - Money

Had a wonderful night of fun, playing cards, visiting with family and friends. I am at the table in front of the screen, because once again I have observed some crazy phenomenon and I want to share it with you.

We were discussing how people think about money.

Are you always broke?Do you never have enough money?Does your car always break down?Is there always a confusion and you get screwed out of money?

You are not alone...

So off I go in research.
Find out all kinds of information:
PEOPLE, POOR PEOPLE, RICH PEOPLE, THEIR DIFFERENT KINDS OF HABITS, THEIR DEBT TO INCOME RATIO DIFFERENCES, AND MANY OTHER FASCINATING FACTS.
(Just in case you were unaware, google search engine doesn't judge your stupid questions and if they do who cares).

When I was looking into the topic, I realized that everyone was trying to do is tell you what to do, and what not to do. Recommendations from others on what worked for them is great. Let's be realistic though.
If that was the case, would you really be having such difficulty?
Even if that was the case, people are generally greedy and leave out that little bit of information just in case you may be better than them.

Well, this is where I come in. I am going to write some things down out loud so that you can hear them.

IT IS COMMON FOR YOU TO BE FINANCIALLY INADEQUATE.
Now to what to a degree is based on the person.

Now when I moved out on my own, I knew how to pay for my essentials. I was really good at that. However, I never had enough money for food, gas, or really anything. I begged my parents for money, listened to their lectures on the things they didn't agree with in my life, and eventually realized there is an overabundance of companies who will take advantage of you especially when the troubles arise.

IT IS COMMON FOR YOU TO LOOK OUTSIDE FOR HELP.
As much as I hate to say it, but this is where it takes a turn for the worse. I wish so many times that I would have had the knowledge, but I didn't. Therefore all kinds of different things take place here, but it doesn't really help the situation.

For me, I had a steady income. In the day of payday advances, I found all kinds of help for my financial problems that would arise. Before I knew it I was deep and had 8 different ones. I didn't talk about it. Instead, I stressed on payday. I stressed even worse about money than I had before then.

With nowhere to turn and in an even deeper situation than I started. Eventually, I couldn't pay all of them. I was behind on every bill I had, and starving (not really but it sure felt like it). I watched everyone else, and always based my opinion of myself based on what they had and I didn't.

I left for Iraq with no way to pay and no one to continue to pay them. I was scared that I might get in trouble. I knew my family wasn't going to just bail me out or at least I was pretty sure at that time they wouldn't. I wasn't getting the support I needed in my relationship at the time. All of a sudden, on my security post in Iraq, my entire chain of command shows up because we are headed into the command post to talk to the First Sergeant.

All of a sudden all my personal business was out in the air. Judgment was real, and right in my face. Want to know something important before we get into the gritty stuff, they helped me.

I cried, right in front of them. I was literally so embarrassed, and I didn't know what to do. I had so many problems I thought at that time that I wasn't going to make it. They contacted my First Sergeant, my supervisor, and my unit at home.
First Sergeant said I know what we are going to do.We're going to help you.These people do exist! You will never find them if all you do is hide your problems. I think you hide your problems because you think you are the only person who has them. If you were the only one, these companies and people that you owe money to wouldn't exist.

As instructed my supervisor and I got into the details. Don't remember all of them but I know my car was dodging repossession. My base house was really empty with barely the essentials. I had 8 payday loans to call and set up payments for. By the time we were at this point, I was already feeling better.
I got all of it paid off and was on top in 5 months.
I was still broke, but I wasn't in the massive hole I was in.
I was so grateful they had helped me.

The point is that you are not alone. If all else fails, I am here. No one has really taken me up on my offers to help them, but I am sure someone will. I am not going to offer you all the answers, I am going to help you find the answers.

Even with my posts, I notice a problem. The problem is you think you are alone. The solution is showing you that you are not alone. Please post, respond, and share with others who you think will benefit from reading.

I know that what I have to say will help someone.

It will make someone ask themselves WHY.

I want to be part of the WHY movement. I want to make a change. I want to change people.

Comments

I know first hand how that is. I got into a bad business deal and ended up $20,000 in debt. Learned a lot about what I NEED and what I only want. I learned that sometimes you have to just stay home on your day off and not spend a dime. I always had food to eat and gas in the car so I wasn't in dire straights or anything, but that debt weighing on you is physically heavy sometimes. How did I do it? Started out with 5 no interest credit cards and paid something every week. if I had any extra (even though there is really no extra when you are in debt.) I would pay the smallest one first. You have to be aware of the finishing date for the no interest, so you can roll it over to another no interest card. Then, one was paid, so more went into paying the next card. Soon I have it on three cards and keep doing the same. Eventually I am down to one card and I pay something every two weeks because the first payment goes to the interest and the SECOND goes to paying down the principle.(this is important.) I was never late on a payment and that second , principle killing payment causes things to snowball in your favor. It got to the point where I could count the weeks till I was out from under. Exciting times , yes? I went full bore cashing in pocket change, selling whatever gold I could to make the day come sooner. I even had plans to reward myself 2 ways on that glorious day. I promised myself I would pick up Dave Ramsey's book on money matters and read it. When the day came that I picked up the book, it recommended to do all the things I had been doing so I felt really smart there. The other celebration? I bought a plastic Captain America shield (after Halloween at 50% off you see, I learned to defer.) after I made the last payment and had EVERY LAST BILL PAID so at least one paycheck had nowhere else to go but MY pocket, I walked out onto my balcony of my second floor apartment, threw up my shield and shouted "FEEEEEEDOOOM!!" (a combo of Cap and Braveheart. Shut up its MY celebration.) And so far I haven't been too far in debt again. in fact I just paid my only Credit Card down to zero just this week. And my Credit Score is 819 last I checked, so, good times. And save , save, save.

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I am Ashley Levesque.
I am on a mission to help people grow and change the way they think, so they too can find happiness.

One of the best things you can do is surround yourself with people who are good. Let me define this for you, in my personal opinion...

Good people are those who have a set of values to start with.
They never compromise their beliefs to be popular, or to go with the crowds.
They are honest (always, not just when it is easy).
They do what is just, not just what they believe is right.
They stand up for themselves.
They stand up for others who cannot stand up for themselves.
They realize that problems can not be fixed in a day, but know that progress takes place every single day.
They are not judging you but listening to you.

I have always considered myself a GOOD person. When you think about yourself, you are likely thinking the same thing I used to.