Friday, May 20, 2011

The advent of interleague play this year coincides with that date selected by that crazy Family Radio sect for the world's end. Since the Dodgers having to play in Comiskey Park is indeed a weird--some might say, cataclysmic--event, I can see the point of some of the sect's prognostication. Heck, I'm not really looking forward to this series, either--and if the Dodgers end up losing the first two games, why bother to play the last game anyway, right?

If the world begins to self-destruct on Saturday, as some religious figures have predicted, there may be a bit of consolation for New Yorkers left behind to perish: alternate-side-of-the-street parking rules would be suspended.

Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg on Friday pledged relief from the often-criticized rules, saying it was “official policy” in a doomsday situation. “Alternate-side parking will take on a whole different meaning, actually,” he joked in an interview with John Gambling on WOR-AM (710).

Some Christians believe Saturday is Judgment Day, on which they will be transported to heaven in a process known as the rapture. Those who are not believers will stay behind and will be wiped out in the next five months.

If the end of the world comes to pass, Mr. Bloomberg said, city residents will also not have to worry about returning library books or paying parking tickets. He noted that it would help ease the city’s traffic problems.

So let me get this straight: The Mayans are doomed in February of 2012; some Christians are being beamed up to meet God tomorrow; Randy Savage was already judged and found to be awesome, and; DB is buying drinks for those of us left Saturday afternoon.

Check it.

Seriously, if the Rapture hits on Saturday, I'm getting a better deal on a flight to Hawaii fo sho!