Monday, 14 December 2009

This Blog Was Built To Self Destruct...

...but that's not how it worked out.

Unfortunately, I think I'm going to have to shut this place down, maybe just for a while, maybe for good. I normally try to avoid writing too much about my personal life on here, but my Mum goes into hospital for a cancer operation today, and my Dad's MS means that he requires a lot of care, so... even if things go well, I'll still be helping to look after them for the next few months, and I don't have the heart to worry about blogging while all of that's going on.

Now you might well ask how anyone could notice if Vibrational Match is active or not, given my haphazard posting schedule. And you'd have a point, but the thing is -- I'll know the difference, and while it might not always look like it, this place matters to me.

Sorry this isn't very articulate, but I'm struggling to write a coherent sentence right now. I'll finish off my Mindless Ones article this week, and then I'll try to write something to close the year out with, because I hate the idea of my last couple of posts being the last ITEM!s on here. No promises, but I might be able to finish of those Darkseid Week posts I started working on ages ago -- we'll see.

Anyway, thanks to everyone who linked to/read/wrote about/commented on this blog or emailed me off the back of it. You've made this worthwhile, and you've shamed me into being a better writer.

I hope this isn't too melodramatic, but I'm not really in the right headspace to judge right now so fuck it.

13 comments:

Oh shit... I had no idea. I hope that everything goes as well as possible for both of them.

I *also* hope you start writing more as soon as you feel able, but that's far less important than your parents' health. Either way, keep in touch - and if there's a PEP! 2 , as I hope, you're invited to contribute if you can find the time...

Aw, man - I basically have nothing useful to offer you, my internet boyfriend, other than condolences/strong wishes for the best. Email me at falconator79@googlemail.com if you want or need to chat, son.

(Totally unrelated, and I feel bad saying this here, but I was going to link this and came to the page, and it tried to download various files without my permission - your blog may have been compromised...)

I've been through this as well -- it was before I started blogging, but it crowded out pretty much everything else in life when it happened -- and you absolutely need to let go of anything you see as an obligation (such as blogging with any regularity) but also please remember that things you can find the time to do for pure fun are a vital necessity for keeping your sanity. Take it from someone who's been there: being kind to yourself needs to be a top priority as well.

My mum's recovering really well right now -- so well, in fact, that she got out of hospital a couple of days early! Plus, my sister's coming up from Manchester on Monday, so things look a little less all-over-fucky than they did at the start of the week. Still, we don't quite know yet how much more treatment will be needed, and even at best 2010 is probably going to be a long year.

Can I give a big shout out to South Lanarkshire Community Health and Care Partnership? I think I can, because they’ve been so ridiculously helpful with regards to my dad’s health this past decade. Which is their job, yeah, but they do it well, and it’s the kind’ve thing that shouldn’t be taken for granted.

Also: anyone who earnestly repeated that “British Death Panel” bullshit earlier in the year can officially fuck off and die. In bits, preferably.

I think this post did come out pretty melodramatic in the end, which is understandable. But… I won’t be giving up the writing. Probably couldn’t now, and I definitely wouldn’t want to. Which is funny, because I only started doing this to impress a girl who was (rightly!) sceptical of my musical genius. Didn’t work in the long run. Doesn’t matter.

The thing is, Vibrational Match was always meant to be a regular blog, and it niggles away at me when I don’t post anything. At the moment, I can’t pretend I’ll be able to write on it regularly, so… better to shut it down, for however long.

Plok, RAB, yeah, good point.

I’m so tired I can barely think right now, and my Mindless Ones essay has been “almost finished” for a solid 2 weeks, but it’s much, much harder for both of my parents so I’m going to try to hold it together for them. This has been one of those weeks that you just kind’ve get through, but you’re both right -- “getting through” isn’t the same thing as living through, so I’ll try to fit a little bit of everything else into the next few months…

Andrew, thanks for the heads up – I’ve noticed a couple of weird things happening on the page today, will contact blogger for help over the weekend because I’m useless with this sort of thing. Did I ever mention that I was almost a Computing Science graduate from Glasgow Uni? Man have those skills atrophied fast!

I owe quite a few emails right now. Anyone who has very kindly sent me one -- I will respond, but it’ll take a while.

Thanks again for everything guys, you’re all being far too nice to someone you’ve never met, and it’s very much appreciated!

Hope everything's going A-1. We, your avid readers and avid friends, would like you to draw on us a bit, if you're feeling low-down from time to time. 'Cause if I posted a post that simply said "DAVID ALLISON!", I'd get two thousand comments in a day.

Who you are shines though, so don't worry about that. And here's a good thought to your real life, friend.

Plok, that's one hell of a description, and you've given me the biggest boost since I saw the words "good writing" pop up over the link to my blog at A Trout in the Milk!

An update: turns out my mum's operation went really well, as well as it possibly could in fact. Recovery's the main thing now, then some more surgery, but... really, in the circumstances, this is as good as it gets.

So: I'm still tired, my family's still tired, there have been a million and one problems with my parents' kitchen since my mum got out of hospital, and brothers and sisters -- I am not a plumber! I shouldn't be allowed anywhere near either pipe or wrench, but here's the thing about being the kind of guy who does just enough to get by: when everything goes to shit, it's amazing how much you find yourself able to do in order to get by!

I hope you'll all forgive me this back-handed back patting (ugh, horrible joke, never again) but I am relieved and incoherent right now.

Thanks once more for all of your kind words. I'm still trying to work out what to do with this blog, that decision will have to wait, but I wanted to share this good news with you!

Take care out there. I'm sure I'll find the time to noise you all up later!