The arc of history is irrelevant to most of us. Ok. Maybe better said is that we are relatively indifferent to the arc of history.

Most of us get up, drink our coffee and get going doing what we need to do that day. In doing so we cannot see any fucking arc, we just see what is in front of us. The arc can only vaguely be seen when we look at the news or talk with friends or maybe see some high falutin’ presentation on trends that supposedly impact our business in terms of sales and shit like that.

And we wonder why the world can seem so cold sometimes? Geez. That is our view for the most part. It is our daily grind (responsibilities) interspersed with some outside news filtering in for some perspective.

I would suggest any arc seems like it can almost be a straight line rather than any arc we can see. It can sometimes seem like a straight line of no change, or, a lot of bad shit with small drops of good shit mixed in.

But that’s not reality. The reality is that time and … well … our lives … do arc.

Just like when you are a ship in a harbor thinking about leaving the horizon looks flat and finite. And, yet, once you leave the harbor you realize that the horizon was simply a reflection of where you were and where you stood and that the reality was the world, the universe, arcs and bends to things you could not see from where you once stood.

Yeah. Sometimes that is hard to see.

Yeah. Sometimes we don’t have any time to think about it.

Yeah. But we should … at least on occasion. Because the arc occurs whether we see it or not. You have to be able to figure out how to get done whatever has to be done or the arc will show you what has to be done <or at least the context within which you will make your choices of what you will do>.

Look. I buy the fact that the arc of time bends toward justice. But I think it neglects to point out that people inevitably define the arc. It neglects to point out justice, or ‘good’, is not simply part of the ether, but resides in the hearts & minds of people. Well. What that means is the arc resides within us. All of us. Not just someone standing up in front of us trying to tell us what the arc is or should be.

I sometimes think we mistaken society, a country or a civilization is like a big tanker and we hire someone or elect some to jump onto the bridge of the ship and lead it out of the harbor. That is not so. You would be mistaken to think that. Each one of us is a little ship. We are a fleet of a variety of ships, boats and scows restlessly bobbing in the harbor from which we can actually leave or stay as we wish.

When we hire a leader, or elect someone, we – we little fleet of ships – are actually seeking a flagship. Someone who dares to leave the harbor and lead us over the arc of the horizon. Lead us beyond the current routes we take, lead us beyond the fishing grounds we have always used and lead us to new lands that maybe we had only heard of before.

But. We, we little fleet of ships, also control the voyages because within the hearts & minds of each of the captains resides justice and what is good & right and decide to follow, float or seek freedom.

Therefore we control the arc and bend of justice. No leader does.

I will suggest, consciously or subconsciousnessly, people tend to follow, or guide, based on justice therefore the arc will bend — sometimes too slowly — toward the goodness which resides in humankind. Just like a ship in harbor looking out from a harbor that goodness can sometimes be difficult to see when looking at the horizon but, I can guarantee this, if you leave the harbor it is easier to see.

“There is a construct in computer programming called ‘the infinite loop’ which enables a computer to do what no other physical machine can do – to operate in perpetuity without tiring.

In the same way it doesn’t know exhaustion, it doesn’t know when it’s wrong and it can keep doing the wrong thing over and over without tiring.”

—–

John Maeda

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Well. Employee engagement is the key to maximizing productivity potential. Period. We can gussy up engagement with respect, safety, collaboration, etc, but business is about business and engagement has to do with the business of doing business well.

To be clear. I think of engagement on three levels:

first is vision. Employees engage better, & have more interest to do so, when they not only know where the business is going, but are engaged with the vision

second is how you go about doing business. Employees engage better, and have more interest in doing so, when they are rested, when they feel ‘psychological safety’, when they believe they are contributing (meaning) and when they get to do what they do with dignity & integrity

third is energy. Employees engage better, and have more interest to do so, when they aren’t exhausted (mentally or physically) and are fresh.

You will find an infinite number of articles on the first and second. Heck. Even I have written about them. To me, the third is one of the least discussed and most overlooked aspect of engagement.

What do I mean? We talk about business transformation and ‘agile’ and constant innovation and relentless focus on the customer and, well, it all sounds exhausting. Add in when experts suggest leading an organization is like running a race (its actually nothing like it) and, shit, even I start feeling exhausted. Let’s be clear. Exhaustion and business is bad.

So. That said. Leading a business is more like managing the health of a body in which you do want some exercise and you do want some healthy eating and you do want to insure proper amount of sleep. Suggesting you want to run a business like you are in some marathon is silly and misguided. It is just as misguided to think about an organization like a machine with gears and moving parts and keeping it well-oiled and full of gas and shit like that.

So let’s talk about organizational exhaustion.

If you stay away from silly metaphors about what an organization is, or is not, simplistically you are trying to insure your organization is putting forth a proper amount of effort against the efforts you want it, and need it, to be working against. This is a daily, weekly, monthly and annual leadership objective. Different leaders have different styles working against this objective, but, simplistically, that is the objective.

Now. HOW you meet this objective typically takes some experience.

What do I mean? I assume most leaders do not inherently know exactly how to pace an organization. Pacing an organization takes some experience and some practice, some mistakes and some successes and then you zero in on how to do it well <or just keep getting better at it>.

Using me as an example. I liked a hard charging group when I got to a team/group management level. And I, personally, would be ecstatic if I didn’t have to sleep and I could go 24/7. In the beginning, that was my vision for my groups.

By the way, in general, good intentions/bad idea.

But what that meant was that I probably learned this lesson, pacing and applying effort appropriately, too slowly <and I most likely will have a bunch of past team members chuckling painfully in agreement>. Going hard charging all the time is not sustainable — you just have a constantly exhausted group. Effective hard charging doesn’t mean 24/7 it means picking your moments and going hard.

That said, in desiring to have hard charging organizations there are certainly some lessons learned to limit needless organizational exhaustion. Here are a couple I learned along the way:

I had to be consistent.

It doesn’t get discussed often enough, but expectations go both ways. As a leader setting clear expectations is certainly expected <and I will mention that in my second learning>, but it really helps an organization if you establish clearly what people can expect of you – behaviorally and attitudinally.

Words surely matter.

Setting expectations surely matter.

Actions surely matter.

But consistency matters above all.

No leader is perfect and no leader will make the perfect decisions, let alone good decisions, all the time. Therefore it becomes incredibly important to just be consistent. Your organization, and specifically people, will become better accustomed to where you will be really really good and where you may be slightly off <and they will naturally accommodate both>. In other words your consistency actually offers your employees some direction for what they should do. Your best people will assess situations and know where you are consistently most likely right on, know the things you consistently overlook and know where you consistently leave some spaces for them to ‘do their thing.’

Keep some strong threads of consistency.

Threads of consistency permit an organization to not have to think about some things. There were some really simple tactical things that I could control.

What do you mean <clarity in articulation>

Where are we going <set a visible North Star>

What do you want me to do <pragmatic expectations>

If you could keep these three things solid and not have people milling about talking amongst themselves on these three questions, you were staying ahead of the game. It permits your organization to progress and not be stagnant. It permits your organization to not invest unnecessary energy against those things and apply energy against doing shit.

Of course, a leader doesn’t have to do these things.

Of course, a leader doesn’t do these things at their own peril.

The peril? Exhaustion. frustration. Waste energy. Not doing these things has an expense to an organization and mostly that is defined by two things – time & energy. I would point out that both of those things are not infinite resources to an organization. I point it out because if they are finite than you better have them available to you when you actually need them. And that is why I chose to not use an organization as a race metaphor at the beginning, but rather an organization as a body metaphor.

Look.

As a leader of larger organization you can hide your misjudgments or poor decisions in a variety of creative ways; mostly by shifting resources from one group to another or have another department assume some different responsibilities or by shifting some people into the work gaps or to buttress the best people who are flagging with some support.

But that is also not sustainable.

The organization gets exhausted doing all that maneuvering, in addition, they get exhausted by you doing that.

I will admit that I got better at this as I moved up in responsibility. And, I will admit, I partially got better at it simply because I had more moving parts, departments and groups to manage. That is because I loved working 24/7 and I thrived with the energy of solving problems and, well, just energy. In a larger organization there is always something going on, some project or problem or initiative somewhere within an organization that needs attention or needs a little ‘push.’ This naturally permitted me to let one part of the organization ‘rest’ while another part of the organization ‘ran.’

Oh. Think about that a second or two if you will.

What I just suggested is an organization as a well-rounded circle, or the classical myth of a ‘well rounded person’, is simply a myth. In fact the idea of it creates a false, and sometimes dangerous in terms of expectations, narrative in our heads. As an organization learns and thinks and gains experience it does not expand smoothly but, rather, raggedly. Day after day, despite the fact it may feel like business is a grind or it may even feel too fast <or too slow> an organization is constantly running toward some thought and experience, or, leaping from danger or something disagreeable or some problem or some success and suffice it to say it is anything but balanced. And it is certainly not creating any smooth well rounded growth.

My main point?

There is no such thing as a well-rounded person and there is no such thing as a well rounded organization. A leader may certainly aspire to create a well-rounded organization but, even at your best, the organization at any given point in time is some shape other than a circle.

The good news is that this means organizations also naturally get excited to explore the edged forays into interesting things and, in parallel, get snagged on the ragged edges of unexplored thoughts or even second guesses with regard to the lack of smoothness in what is happening in departments, groups and efforts … as well as thoughts and growth.

Yes.

I will point out that this is why an organization can feel slightly uncomfortable on occasion as employees, departments and groups wrestle with this discomfort, as well as dealing with the ragged edges constantly poking at everyone, but I will also point out that is why the things I mentioned earlier become even more important –the consistency, the clarity and the lack of chaos.

I will also point out that his kind of ‘uncomfortable’ is okay. To a leader it is actually a sign that things are going okay and the organization is not stagnant <and good leaders know how to point out good non-stagnancy to calm uncomfortable>.

All that said. I can unequivocally state that no organization is successful when needlessly exhausted. They can be tired at the end of the day, but exhaustion is a symptom not of ‘a good day’s work’, rather, unnecessary mental stress trying to get things going, understand what to do and what to say and kibitzing over why it is so hard to get what seems like normal shit done.

When an organization is running well, whether the 350 million, 350 or the 35 recognize it, there are many days when the 1, the leader, leaves the office exhausted. And the one is exhausted despite the fact that 349,999,900 people, 341 people or 34 people went to sleep that day feeling pretty good about their day and their needs & wants & hopes took one step forward that day and they are a good tired … not needlessly exhausted.

Oh. Despite the fact the one went to bed exhausted, that one will arise the next day fresh because the organization is ready to go again the next day and not organizationally exhausted (the one – leader – draws energy from a fresh organization).

I will end by pointing out that an exhausted group, an exhausted department or an exhausted organization is the sign of poor leadership. And, most importantly, it is a precursor to signs of inefficiencies and declines in measured productivity.

Well. There is a shitlaod of advice on focus but the truth is that learning what to disregard is one of the most difficult things in the world.

To be clear. This isn’t really about ignoring shit nor is this about tuning out distractions, this is more about acknowledgement of and the inevitable ‘setting aside’ of things. In other words, deciding ‘the rest is not our business.’

Simplistically, there is a huge difference between disregard and ignore.

Disregard implies a denial of attention to somethingbecause of superior knowledge or more pressing considerations.

Ignore particularly stresses that something has been rejected without any conscious consideration while disregard can suggest a more careful, conscious evaluation that results in dismissal.

So this becomes a combination of deciding what to omit and what to not omit … what is essential and what is unessential.

This is hard as shit.

To anyone who hasn’t had to deal with this on a consistent basis in business, this whole issue gets disregarded as bullshit … ‘because common sense will tell you what is essential and what is not’.

Wrong.

And wrong again.

And let me say again … that is really really wrong.

If it were that easy, that much common sense, we would be the most efficient sonofabitches in the world.

We are not.

Speaking personally, for a curious person like me, I can quite easily find myself going down senseless rabbit holes and teasing out useless information from … well … useless information.

Everything is interesting to me, therefore, purposefully being disinterested in something seems just wrong.

Yeah. If I do this too often I become relatively useless to people. I know a lot about many things that are, frankly, not really worth knowing a lot about.

Here is what I know about recognizing something as something to be regarded and the ability to disregard the others as just ‘things’. When viewed correctly, some things show you how to interpret what is <and, I imagine, what could be>. This means that the things to disregard are the ones which will not help you in any way change ‘what is’ because, inevitably, I imagine the point of anything is to change what is. Ok. That’s just how I filter things. Ponder and choose your own filter <but have a filter>

=====

“To develop the skill of correct thinking is in the first place to learn what you have to disregard.

In order to go on, you have to know what to leave out: this is the essence of effective thinking.”

Kurt Godel

==========

Now. My last thought may create some disagreement with people. They may disagree that the point of things, in general, is to change what is <in other words, change shouldn’t apply to everything>.

Well. Here is my point.

Left alone, things will decline or deteriorate/decay in some form or fashion.

This includes thoughts and thinking. Unfortunately, even a great thought declines in value the longer it remains stagnant and static.

I would point out that the mind, itself, is exactly the same <some philosopher called this ‘the principle of entropy’>. The basic principle is that while good things happen to people within events the general arc of things tends to be negative. Therefore someone or something needs to arise to prevent the natural downward arc. But that ‘thing’ needs to be refreshed or replaced because their impact is biggest initially and loses effectiveness against the downward trend over time.

Uhm.

What that suggests is things you should disregard will vary depending on the context and the time.

What that suggests is things you should disregard will most likely not be a replication of something in the past.

What that suggests is things you should disregard are most likely not uncovered most easily by ‘common sense.’

What that suggests is things you should disregard are most likely derived through a need to separate fact from fiction and then an assessment of the value & relevance of the facts.

Nothing in what I just shared is easy.

Nothing in what I just shared suggests identifying ‘the rest is not our business’ is easy.

I do know that being successful in business management and leadership often tilts on how well you are able to identify what is ‘not our business.’

Life is not particularly kind to people who suck at not discerning what to disregard, but it rarely kills you for this suckedness.

Business is particularly unkind to people who suck at not discerning what to disregard. Not mastering, even partially, this skill will cost you promotions and, even worse, trust in independent work. Once you are deemed a shitty assessor of ‘not our business’ type of shit you will have someone looking over your shoulder for the rest of your professional career.

I end on that last thought mostly because anyone who wants to rise in a business organization knows this and they are most likely to handle that by going to the complete other side of the spectrum, i.e., make everything their business <yeah … they are the ones who claim to be perfectionists and do everything, even the unnecessary under the guise of ‘not leaving any T’s uncrossed and I’s undotted … but it is their fear of leaving the wrong things in the ‘not our business’ bucket>. They are horrible, pain in the ass’s, to work with.

Anyway. ‘The rest is not our business’ is really hard to identify.

The only thing I can suggest is ‘practice makes perfect.’ The only way to get better at it is to do it <but you will never be perfect>.

And as long as you can navigate the inevitable mistakes in judgment along the way you will do fine and will actually become fairly good at judging what to regard versus disregard.

“… I see NOW is my moment. Taking the time to listen for the answers to my questions. I guess NOW is always our moment even if it is only etching out one little piece of the bigger picture.”

Mindy Smith

===============

People are always reflecting. I guess we do it because we are, well, human. We do it not because we second guess or just want to beat the crap out of ourselves , but more likely with the intent to improve ourselves in some form or fashion. We reflect to move forward better.

I came across this quote from musician Mindy Smith.

While musicians are always reflecting upon their creativity with an eye to “what comes next” I imagine all of us do this thought, and thinking, in our own way. It is not just a creative process thing. It is a Life thing. But this thought really stood out for me because it is about now, and listening, and questioning and a recognition that now is ALWAYS our moment, uhm, if we elect it to be.

This doesn’t mean every moment is a ‘NOW’ moment, but rather you can make any moment a ‘NOW’ moment of you choose to <I hope that makes sense>.

That is a really really big thought.

I know many people struggle with the concept of maximizing each moment. I know I do. You kind of want to, but kind of also believe it is not very practical. And then you also wonder if you are choosing the ‘right’ moments to maximize. It can be a tiring process especially in reflection.

Mindy <I think> is suggesting you just find ‘now’ moments. And in that moment, for that brief time, it is an important moment because YOU stopped, and took the time to listen for answers to your questions. The moment was important because you made it so not because it claimed to be important.

That is an inspiring thought. It is a free-ing thought. And a hopeful thought.

But. Here is where she really inspires.

I believe a lot of people diminish a reflective moment as unimportant because they are, well, simply reflective moments <and not active or ‘action-oriented>. You didn’t really ‘do’ something tangible.

She suggests each moment etches, one little piece at a time, the bigger picture.

That is a nice thought especially if you couple it with the moment was important because you made it so.

In other words, it is your choice, and choices, which craft your future. All you have to do is stop some of the “NOWS” you interact with and make some of them important enough to do something.

Anyway.

This quote comes from a wonderfully articulated, very personal, thought on her song “Closer”:

“Many times in life’s journey, we find ourselves disoriented. For me, I make destructive decisions that can distract me from my ultimate goal. I think I am making the right choices and staying close to my agenda but I just run off course. In ‘Closer,’ I see the North Star as the prize. One that I am always getting so close to but unable to grab a hold of and then it eludes me. Personally this song paints a picture of how I see my musical career and that I see NOW is my moment. Taking the time to listen for the answers to my questions. I guess NOW is always our moment even if it is only etching out one little piece of the bigger picture.”

Refugees from that brave new world you have over there. Pilgrims in search of your Mecca … only you have no Mecca.

You’ve rejected one world and can’t quite smuggle your way into another so you wander like lost souls among all the libraries, museums, palaces and cathedrals of Europe … never quite seeing or catching hold of anything that lies outside those musty, but god knows elegant, interiors. It’s called ‘finding oneself’ I believe … as if a self can exist at the end of some tourist’s itinerary like a pot of gold.

Yet it’s kind of a fear isn’t it? A fear of Life.”

=

Celestial chess

—

“I have a deep fear of being too much.

That one day I will find my someone, and they will realize that I ama hurricane.

That they will step back and be intimidatedby my muchness. “

=

Michelle K.

———

So. Muchness. Muchness is what resides within each one of us. The problem is Life, in general, encourage us to exhibit, well, much less. Therefore we seem to spend a lot of time in the wretched hollow between our muchness and what we believe the world can accept of our muchness. In other words, we are always seek to constrict not expand.

Oddly this creates a lot of self reflection. A lot of “who am I”, finding onself and defining what is the right level of public muchness. We search as in “as if a self can exist at the end of some tourist’s itinerary like a pot of gold.”Far too often finding one’s muchness, paradoxically, seems a lot like stagnancy. There may seem like a lot of movement in that you may be moving around a lot <going places, visiting libraries, museums, palaces and cathedrals of Europe>, but in actuality, you are stagnant … personally.

All the movement appears to be some kind of search within oneself, but you are doing it by seeking ‘out-of-self’ things. Worse? Your self search often gets judged by what cues the ‘out-of-self- things provide you. Its almost like the search makes you a refugee from yourself. You invest energy not on progress but rather in searching backwards or ‘within’ <by viewing within the past for insights> to find ‘something.’

Well. This all seems crazy to me. Seems like maybe by the time you finish your search the rest of the world has moved on by. I would suggest time may be better served by something in which typical ‘finding oneself’ discussions do not appear to encompass — the word ‘disturbing.’ As in maybe ‘disturbing oneself.’ As in disturbing the universe. Kind of like shaking the personal etch a sketch a bit and in doing so be willing to shake the societal status quo of “what you should expect” etch a sketch..

By the way, to me, the fact ‘disturbing’ rarely is included in any ‘finding oneself’ discussion is crazy. Mostly because emotion is the energy for change and I would argue emotion is the engine for muchness.

Ok. What the hell am I talking about? The roots of disturb is the latin word – Emovere.

===

<latin> emovere: to disturb

===

Emotion literally means disturbance. The word emotion comes from the Latin emovere meaning “to disturb.” Therefore, emovere can be seen as a version of how we find ourselves. A combination of emotion & disturb is the creation of one’s muchness.

Look. Disturb may sound, well, disturbing or maybe a little extreme but, what the hell, you spend gobs of energy going out and about having rejected one world and can’t quite smuggle your way into another so you wander like lost souls.

The whole idea of ‘finding oneself’ all with the overall intent to seek opportunities to find out about ourselves and discover your muchness, i.e., what we are made up of and what we can be.

Disturbing, at its core, is about shifting shit so that opportunities can be uncovered.

This leads me to a guy named Pittacus … one of the Seven Sages of Greece. While each of the seven sages was supposed to represent an edict of worldly knowledge <Solon of Athens was actually “know thyself”> it was Pittacus who proposed ‘you should know which opportunities to choose.’

—

Other Pittacus Quotes

“It is hard to be good”

“Know when to act”

“Seize Time by the forelock.”

–

Disturbing is the energy which creates opportunities <not wandering the world of libraries and museums> and then … well … you gotta know which opportunities to choose.

Shit. No wonder we decide to try and find oneself by wandering the world, it sounds a shitload easier than disturbing, recognizing opportunities, than actually knowing which opportunities to choose. In fact all that sure sounds like there is lots of room for errors or missed opportunities are even a lot of bad choices.

Well. That’s the deal if you want to find yourself and let the world see your muchness.

It ain’t easy. And there is a lot of room for mistakes and bad choices. You gotta keep your eye on the prize.

Now. ‘Muchness’ is a great thing for you … uhm … but can be scary for others around you.

However. Not everyone, in fact, I would suggest the majority of us never discover our maximum muchness. Most of us just find crumbs of our muchness <and are quite satisfied>.

Some of us just get a bite or two of our muchness <and that is even more satisfying>. And then there are the few who actually find ‘oneself’ and all their muchness. Which leads me back to where I opended today:

————

“I have a deep fear of being too much.

That one day I will find my someone, and they will realize that I ama hurricane. That they will step back and be intimidatedby my muchness. “

—————–

Well. This makes me think that maybe the reason most of us go about finding ourselves the wrong way is because most of us fear becoming the hurricane we could be. Muchness is scary. Muchness is not only a little scary to ourselves but absolutely can be intimidating to others. Hence … “you can be a little too much on occasion.” Frankly, this is where it gets tricky. When you hear that you naturally pull in your muchness. Which is a little nuts. Nuts because YOU can handle your muchness its OTHERS who cannot – its their issue and not yours.

Anyway.

I imagine my real point in all of this is that while finding oneself is not easy once you embrace your muchness it gets difficult.Here’s what I do know.

Let’s be honest. Most of us, even if we are really lucky, will only find crumbs of our muchness. Yup, even if we do most of the formula right … just crumbs. And that is manageable. And while crumbs sounds … well … crummy. It’s not. They represent glimpses of our greatness. The muchness inside us is the best of our best … the best version of I … the greatness within.

And even if we only get a glimpse of it? Well. In the immortal words of the coach in the movie The Replacements:

==

“Greatness, no matter how brief, stays with you forever.”

Gene Hackman <the replacements>

==

Finding oneself truly has to be done with some intent of finding some greatness <I mean, c’mon, why else would we invest energy doing it?>. It’s all about finding whatever glimpse of greatness, of muchness, we have within us <and most everyone has at least a glimpse>. And why wouldn’t we seek to find ‘oneself’ the right way?

Fear.

The opening quote suggested ‘a fear of Life.’ Well. I would suggest it would be more ‘a fear of Muchness’.

Regardless.

Suffice it to say that Self, or our’ muchness’, does not exist at the end of some tourist’s itinerary like a pot of gold. And that said … remember … if you truly desire to ‘find yourself’ don’t head out like a pilgrim in search of your mecca just think one word – emovere.

In other words … Disturb.

Disturb your world and your universe and watch for the opportunities and don’t fear your muchness and, mos importantly, don’t let the outside world’s fear of your muchmness make you make your much a lesser version of what it can be.

Embrace your muchness and disturb the universe. I could think of worse advice.

“I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read and all the friends I want to see.”

—-

John Burroughs

==============

Well. I originally wrote this at the end of 2016 for 2017 and when rereading I said “Holy Shit!” <to myself> I want to say the same thing heading into 2018 <and now 2019!!>. So I am. I have gone back through and made some slight revisions but the thought still remains the same <2017 was almost as shitty a year as 2016>.

It seems at the end of every year I have written something about predictions for the upcoming year <some right and some wrong>. But this year it is about attitude and only about attitude for 20172018 2019.

Why? It would be incredibly easy to say 20162017 2018 sucked.

………. 2106 … and … 2017 ….and …. 2018 ……

I don’t care if you made gobs of money or got married or had some unfathomably awesome experience … you only had to look around you and see that pretty much everyone but you <and some nutjobs who still believe Trump is a smart businessman, smarter than the rest of us & authentic> had a shitty year.

Trump being elected president was only the bacteria ridden cherry on top of the melted sundae made with a scoop of your least favorite ice cream.

But back in July I said, unequivocally, I did not want to cancel 2016 <and I listed all the reasons why I would not> and just because some asshat was elected became president with the most powerful position in the world since then, a bunch of people passed away that seemed like it was too soon and there were a variety of misguided deeds and words randomly dispersed around the world, nothing has changed my mind. I did not want to cancel 2016 or even 2107 or even 2018.

And, maybe more importantly & relevant to how I view 2017 2018 2019, I do not believe because this year was shitty <and it was> that next year will be worse <although I was wrong about 2017 & 2018 which were just different versions of shitty>. Frankly, I don’t think it is healthy to fill your face book page or Instagram or even the coffee room in the office with all the negative perspective bullshit <or if you are a pseudo intellectual … be a nihilist>.

I will not unfollow anyone nor will I ‘de-friend’ anyone nor will I even stop talking with the doomsayers, in fact, I will take them on. I will not try and convert anyone to optimism but I certainly will lay out some pragmatic practical possibilities of what could be which do not suggest a shittier 20172018 2019 than 20162017 2018, but rather how each year is simply another year as a ‘work-in-progress.’

I read the news and watch far too many of the alternative universe spouting news channels.

Yes.

I live in the real world where bills can sometimes be tough to pay and friends lose jobs and die.

Yes.

I can certainly get discouraged on occasion and can get concerned about genuinely threatening things.

Yes.

I get a little nervous about the safety, security and direction of a nation I love.

Yes.

I am human and not out of touch.

No.

I do not think we are doomed or Armageddon is upon us.

In some ways I am the Sisyphus of pragmatic idealism <let some philosopher try and tease out the contradictory truth in that>. In The Myth of Sisyphus we view a man’s futile search for meaning, unity, and clarity in the face of an unintelligible world devoid of God and eternal truths or values and, yet, it is suggested we should never quit in the face of seeming futility but rather “no, it requires revolt.”

That said. I am fairly sure it is within the final chapter we view the situation of Sisyphus, the guy in Greek mythology who was condemned to repeat forever the same meaningless task of pushing a boulder up a mountain, only to see it roll down again. It is here in which far too often we ignore the conclusion:“The struggle itself … is enough to fill a man’s heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy.”

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“I leave Sisyphus at the foot of the mountain. One always finds one’s burden again. But Sisyphus teaches the higher fidelity that negates the gods and raises rocks. He too concludes that all is well. This universe henceforth without a master seems to him neither sterile nor futile. Each atom of that stone, each mineral flake of that night-filled mountain, in itself, forms a world. The struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill a man’s heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy.”

Albert Camus

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Many people just do not want to get out of bed in the morning. I am not one of those people <and, I admit, there are times I don’t understand the people who do not want to get up and get doing>. In my head it can be just as hard for those of us who always keep going as it is for those who find it hard to get going.

‘Hard’ is hard in my book.

Sure. There are days when I find myself trudging along stubbornly rather than bounding along battling. but no matter what I just cannot envision any alternative to doing.

“Doing” is what I do.

I kind of figure that doing is the only thing that will enable the pragmatic practical ‘better shit’ I believe needs to be done versus the ‘bad shit’ that may be done … if I am not doing my good shit.

And, you know what? I am doing it in 20162017 2018 and I envision doing it in 20172018 2019.

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“I’m not into convincing people I’m worthy.

I’m into people who’ll convince me on my worst days that I’m still worth the world.”

Reyna Biddy

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I have said before and will continue to say … I am not an optimist. I may be slightly idealist with regard to the inherent good in people and the belief that the arc of history bends toward what is right versus what is wrong … but an optimist I am not.

I am far too cynical and far too much of a pragmatist.

Oh. Yeah. That word ‘idealistic’ or ‘Idealism.’ I am always hesitant to toss that one out because far too often someone wants to add on ‘infantile’ or ‘unrealistic’ to it.

Maybe in my version of idealism there isn’t fantasy but rather pragmatic understanding that people do bad shit and people do good shit and that you either seek out those who do the good shit, and want to do the good shit, or sit back and let the bad shit-ters do the voodoo they do.

I refuse to let the bad shit-ters win.

I refuse even when faced with uncertainty or faced with some asshats who think their version of what good shit is the right shit.

That is my attitude. It was my attitude in 2016 2017. It has been my attitude for years. It will be my attitude in 2017 2018. And, I imagine, it will be my attitude until the day I die.

Here is what I <and all of us> have going for me in 20172018 2019.

The future is uncertain. It isn’t written in stone.

Yeah. Sure. The pessimistic ‘we are doomed’ people seem have a more certain view of the future – one in which it is impossible to imagine an alternative future to be optimistic about.

That seems silly to me.

I do not think it is optimistic to still find each day too short to get done what I want to get done and too short to do all the good shit I know should be done. That’s not optimism … that is simply a desire to do something and, preferably, to do good shit.

Remember. Doing is what I do.

If I were to say one thing about myself with regard to what I am good at <and I mostly think I am average at best> it would be my ability to get up every day and find some good shit to do. I don’t really care about the day itself nor do I pay much attention to whether any particular situation is good or bad — I just wake up every day thinking it is going to be too short to do all the good shit I want to do.

But. That there will be another ‘too short day’ the following day and I will wake up that day and get going all over again. That is my 20172018 2019. That is the only thing I find certain about the year.

…….. “But … I am doing something …………..”

That is neither hopeful nor is it optimistic that is pragmatic, practical and focused on contributing the arc of Life that I believe in.

Do I now what I am doing?

Hell no. But I am doing. And that is my attitude for 2017, 2018, 2019 and beyond.

There truly are few certainties in this world … but … I do believe that inevitably good trumps bad and that good shit gets done by people who do not believe bad shit is better. That is my attitude for 20172018 2019. And I tend to believe 20172018 2019 will be a shitload better than 20162017 2018 if more people had this attitude. I think we would all be able to do more good shit if we all believed each day was still too short for all the good shit we want to do.

“Happy New Year to all, including to my many enemies and those who have fought me and lost so badly they just don’t know what to do. Love!”

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“Sportsmanship for me is when a guy walks off the court and you really can’t tell whether he won or lost, when he carries himself with pride either way.”

–

Jim Courier

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The Olympic motto:

“The important thing in the Games is not winning but taking part.

The essential thing is not conquering but fighting well.”

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Well. Trump is going to remind us all of a lot of shit we want to teach our children <by reminding us of what we don’t want them to do and be>. Yeah. How scary is that?

We shake our heads at a 70 year old man over something we wouldn’t even want our 15 year old to do.

Today? Being a bad winner <and how good leaders are never bad winners>.

So. We all know what a bad loser is, but maybe we should actually talk more about what a bad winner is. That may sound strange because … well … I mean, c’mon, who would have thought someone who wins would need a lesson on how to actually be a winner.

Uhm. And who would have thought we would have to teach someone this lesson, especially someone who would be in a position to run a large organization let alone a country.

Uhm. Could you imagine a new CEO of a company who just beat out a rival in an organization for a promotion tweeting this out to all their employees? <no … no sane person could>.

Trump has a problem <okay … several> but this tweet reflects a lack of understanding on how to be a leader, how to be a good winner and that there is a difference between competitiveness mentality and a “win at all cost” mentality.

Competitors compete, compete hard, and accept the win or the loss … warts & all. Sometimes we competitors know we got a little lucky, maybe the chips fell our way because we worked hard & practiced hard, but recognize that even then the chips could have fallen the other way.

Built into our competitiveness is a belief we should win, but that on any given day we could lose.

This type of competitiveness tends to reflect itself in being a ‘good winner’ attitudinally. A little humility. A little respect for the competition. And, unless the competitor was a total asshole, an understanding that they may have lost, but they were not losers.

Someone who has to lead an organization and wants to be successful embraces this attitude.

Now. A ‘win at all costs’ mentality is a double edged bad sword.

Not only do you compete differently <rules are more suggestions than restrictions>, but your wins are an unblemished unassailable win in your mind.

Black and white – I won, you lost.

No warts. No maybes. No ‘it was close.’ Only ‘win.’

This type of competitiveness tends to not reflect upon the competition itself and that maybe, just maybe, your competition is worthy of being your friend or respected acquaintance not as a ‘loser’ but rather ‘someone with the same intent.’ This type of competitiveness rarely reflects any version of sportsmanship.

Someone who has to lead an organization and embraces this attitude does not foster a healthy culture, does not encourage unity but rather incites cut throat aggressive competitiveness, cliques and divisiveness <and a shit load of brown nosing>.

The latter is Trump. And his New Year ’s Eve tweet tells us this. Trump reflects the worst type of lesson as a leader and as a role model.

And I don’t need Trump to make this point. Watch or read the news and you will read day after day incidents displaying the loss of sportsmanship and respect for authority and opponents.

Refs, umpires and coaches are verbally and physically assaulted.

Parents are sometimes excessive in the way they push their kids to be the best.

Coaches are demanding perfection from their players and punish them when they give anything less.

Trump?

Trump just calls people who didn’t vote for him ‘losers’.

Trump demeans media that fairly criticizes him as ‘dishonest’ or ‘failing.’

Trump demeans loyalty of followers but does not share loyalty of they cannot contribute to the win.

I imagine my main issue, beyond the fact this type of competitiveness does not encourage unity, is that I expect my President to be a role model for ‘better’ and not play to the worst of us.

And while I abhor bad winners I have a larger issue with what Mr. President Elect Trump is doing.

Children learn by example. We need to be extremely careful that kids do not get mixed messages from mentors and role models.

So what example are they getting from Trump? How to be a bad winner.

<and I am not sure he cares what lesson he is sharing with the young or if he is simply oblivious to his responsibility to be a role model>

He won. He is going to be our president <note: even of the “losers & enemies”>. He needs to start acting like a good winner and a tough respectful competitor and, well, act like a fucking leader and not a ‘loser’.

Look.

It is an honor and privilege to play a game and compete at a high level.

It is an honor and a privilege to compete for the presidency and serve as a president.

It is NOT an honor and a privilege to win – that is reserved for the competition itself. The win itself deserves respect.

That is what we all need to remember and teach our children.

Competition in and of itself is supposed to be about being the best we are capable of and respecting our own abilities as well as respecting others regardless of whether their best is better than our best.

Sports are inherently competitive <hence the reason there is a winner and a loser>. Life is inherently competitive <hence the reasons some people get promotions and some do not>.

And, let’s face it; competition brings out the best, and worst, in everyone. But I imagine my point then is that competition, and sportsmanship, inevitably is about character. And that competition, and winning or losing, makes a person’s real character come out.

Oh. I hate to break the news to everyone, competition and how you handle it takes work and training and shaping and thoughtfulness.

Sportsmanship SHOULD be simple. But it’s not. Losing hurts and winning can easily create feelings of blinding euphoria.

You can teach principles of good sportsmanship to anyone but, in the end, it’s about each person & experience.

Children watch.

They see cheating, lying, badmouthing, complaining to officials … all of which are reflections of someone’s character. More people need to take responsibility <and not blame “the game” or “the moment” or … well … anything>.

I suggest Mr. President-elect do so.

If you win, you do so with grace <because if you do even your competitors will respect you … and potentially follow you>.

If you lose, you do so with grace < because if you do even your competitors will respect you … and potentially follow you>.

Cheaters do win. Maybe not philosophically, but in the win/loss column. That is where I like to point out to people winning or losing is about character.

There are a couple of scoreboards for people who play sports.

One is the win/loss record.

One is a life scoreboard.

Sportsmanship shows up on the life scoreboard. While I wish more people would pay attention to that second scoreboard I am fairly sure with our new President, who possibly embodies the penultimate ‘bad winner’, it is going to be tougher and tougher to teach our young people what matters.

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believe in the truth.
I believe that every good thought I have,
All men shall have.

Kenneth Patchen

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This new year’s tweet from Trump was horrible. Horrible not just from a personal perspective but also from a business leader perspective <no sane CEO or president of a company would ever send a tweet out like this> and also from a President’s perspective <who supposedly is seeking to unite a country … all 320 million people … not just his 60 million>.

Trump is doing everything we teach our children not to do if they win.

Which makes me ask: how can it be that a person who can’t even articulate a New Year’s wish is going to be the leader of a country I love?

He is a playing a dangerous game. And I wish he would play the game differently.

I respected Jim Courier as a tennis player and I respect his words even more … “sportsmanship for me is when a guy walks off the court and you really can’t tell whether he won or lost, when he carries himself with pride either way.”

Trump has walked off the court and refuses to carry himself with pride, or even a dose of humility let alone respect the win. And if one of his heinous surrogates comes back at me and suggests “they cannot accept the win” or “they are undermining his election” and that he isn’t creating the issue in public I have two words for you — “shut up.”

If he chooses to lead … he owns his win, he owns the narrative and he owns the topic. He has not elected to show leadership yet.

This may be the understatement of the year … he is not a gracious winner.

This New Year’s Eve Trump tweet is an embarrassment to the presidency.

I expect more, and better, from any leader let alone my President Elect.

“It’s surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you’re not comfortable within yourself, you can’t be comfortable with others.”

—

Sydney J. Harris

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There is neither a right nor a wrong way of reflective thinking, there are just questions to explore.

Reflective thinking process starts with you. Before you can begin to assess the words and ideas of others, you need to pause and identify and examine your own thoughts.

Doing this involves revisiting your prior experience and knowledge of the topic you are exploring. It also involves considering how and why you think the way you do.

The examination of your beliefs, values, attitudes and assumptions forms the foundation of your understanding.

Reflective thinking demands that you recognise that you bring valuable knowledge to every experience. It helps you therefore to recognise and clarify the important connections between what you already know and what you are learning. It is a way of helping you to become an active, aware and critical learner.

—–

UNSW Australia

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Well. I have written dozens of posts with regard to self esteem and being yourself and, yet, this quote made me sit back and think a little more about the importance of how you view yourself.

When I started writing this thought I am sharing and titled this post I didn’t realize there was actually something called ‘reflective thinking.’ To be clear, today’s thought from me is just that – a thought – and if you want to read up on reflective thinking and research and stuff like that go for it. In general I tend to believe all of us would be a little better off if we actively were aware of the ‘reflective thinking principles’ as we wandered our way thru Life.

Regardless. My thoughts.

By the way … this thought is also very <very> relatable to business in that how a business, and its organization/employees, feels toward themselves impacts their feelings toward other people <target audience, customers, competitors, etc.>.

Anyway. Life, us, and what is in our heads.

Very <most> often we think about ‘what do others think about’ or ‘how people view such and such’ and don’t stop and think about “why do I care?”

We should. What you care about with regard to yourself impacts what you care about externally.

It creates expectations, desires, attitudes and even your behavior.

The danger in ‘non reflective thinking’ is multi dimensional, but the main danger is that means you view the world through a focus group of one – yourself. And that means you view the world thru a lens of what you feel comfortable with about yourself as well as what you feel less comfortable with. It filters the view positively and negatively. Regardless. It creates a filter.

Worse?

That filter is always being adjusted by self doubt, how you deal with doubt & uncertainty, and what is happening to you day in and day out.

Whoa.

Hold on.

There are a bunch of confident people shouting “I have no self doubt !!! … I know what I am comfortable with and I am comfortable in my own skin !!!!”

Well. In all the exclamation points I would suggest ‘you doth protest too much.’ Confident or not we all doubt ourselves sometimes and we all certainly question ourselves at all times. By the way. There is nothing wrong with that. It is natural.

However, we should reflect upon the fact that natural human activity affects how we view everyone and everything else around us. It makes us comfortable and uncomfortable with things and people in an uneven way. Or maybe in a less than desirable inconsistency which can not only confuse other people <this is our inconsistent filter where even if it is just a minor inconsistency, it can create a more major judgement impact> it can actually confuse us.

Yes. Be aware. We like consistency within ourselves it kind of proves to ourselves that we have our shit together.

This becomes confusing in reflection because, on the other hand, If you think about it … you sometimes celebrate the inconsistency as ‘an ability to not treat everyone the same’ and it suggests that we can adapt to new and different experiences.

Well. Most times we are wrong in that thought. We are fairly consistent. The reality is your own filter has most likely varied because of something that has nothing to do with them or the experience but rather something that has affected your own filter PRIOR to that experience.

Even worse?

Your filter could be affected by how <insert an “uh oh” here> … uhm … you feel about yourself that day and in that moment.

<yikes>

In the end.

I don’t think we like to admit this to ourselves: the fact that how we view ourselves taints how we view others.

Shit.

I am not sure most of us even recognize it. We far more often reflect upon ourselves as a way of thinking about how to improve ourselves or maybe reflect upon ‘I is what I is.’ Nothing wrong with that <in a balanced way>.

Self awareness is good. What is even better is to be aware that what you learn is reflected in how you view others … and at its worst … how you judge others. Your personal comfort, or discomfort, affects your comfort or discomfort in others.

If you recognize this maybe you will be a little more appreciative of others in ways you have never imagined.

Shit. If you recognize this maybe you will gain some valuable insight into yourself.

For the latter, well, just see the gobs of information and quotes online with regard to “if you aren’t moving forward you are standing still” … “don’t look back or you’ll miss what is in front of you” … “don’t look back you are not going that way” or some fortune cookie wisdom like that <as if no one knows that movement, and progress, is good>. I call this the ‘forward progress theory’ business <I have noted elsewhere Life, like chess, is about facing the entire board and obstacles & opportunities which lie all around you, not just in front of you, & you can move in a variety of directions with progress in mind>.

That said.

With regard to progress, the bravest thing you can do is to not look back. Why do I say ‘brave’? We make it really hard to not look back. Really hard. Day in and day out everything around you pounds on you for ‘what did you learn’ and how are you applying it and ‘if you don’t know learnings from the past how can you be sure that is the right thing to do?” <crap like that>.

Okay. Semi useful thinking crap like that. But what it really means is that anyone truly desiring to move forward, intent on progress, keeps getting dragged back time and again to the past. What, or who, is the main culprit of this almost unhealthy relationship with the past?

“Those who do not learn from the past are doomed to make the same mistakes.”

Christalmighty.“Doomed.”

No wonder people are afraid of some risk or hesitate to move forward keep looking backwards. Doom is never a particularly desirable objective if you care about your career <or anything for that matter>.

The ‘doomed’ aspect <which older business people toss around like confetti in meetings> means we are almost demanded to not only invest energy in the past but, in some cases, encouraged to hold on to past learning with ragged claws. That said … I will go back to the bravery aspect because I could argue the truest bravery, in this sense, resides in two places:

Not looking back once you have decided to move forward.

Not looking back when you purposefully stand still.

Yeah.

First.Move.There are actually times to just go. Go and do. I do not mean ‘go’ as solely leaning on instincts <I call this ‘decision faking by intuition‘>, because research tends to show instincts are less important than experience, but lean on your experience to guide you through the context of your progress. The truth is that the past cannot show you all the shit you need to know as you move forward. It only shows aspects of shit you should be aware of. And, worse, the past has nasty habit of not encouraging you to reflect on the context of all the aspects just the aspects themselves. Therefore history is truly only important in parts and not the whole.

This means you have to grab the scraps of what you need from the past and create a new whole in moving forward. That is where bravery steps up to the plate. More often than not you are creating a new whole … a slightly different version of what was. Yeah. That is different than the past <it s actually something new>. Yeah. Everyone is actually a creator, a discoverer albeit we don’t like to think about that. While this point is a generalization … if you know your shit … once you have decided to go … to move forward … don’t look back. Bravely face the new world ahead.

Yeah.

Second.Stand still. There are actually times to stop. Stand still. Even amidst activity. Even amidst a crowd which seems like it is moving forward <albeit sometimes all you see is the movement>.

Stillness, strategic stillness, is possibly one of the scariest things anyone can ever do. When everyone and everything is moving you feel like you are ding something wrong in standing still. And, yet, by purposefully doing so you may be adding to the progress rather than taking away from it.

Here is what I know about purposefully standing still.

You have to accept the fact you are offering the type of energy that no matter where you are and no matter that you are still & not moving you are actually adding value to the space and time and progress to that which is around you. I can promise you that this takes a version of bravery.

Anyway.

The entire ‘Forward progress Theory’ is difficult. Difficult in the mind <attitudes> and even in practice <behavior>. I could argue that it is so difficult because our natural instinct is to try and use the past to define what the future will look like. That is slightly crazy when you think about it. While the arc of time suggests the future will most likely replicate the past, well, that is the arc and not the details. It’s kind of like discussing strategy versus tactics. The strategy may remain the same or similar, but the tactics will vary in the context of time & situation.

Progress does take some bravery, some courage. Mostly because the future will always contain something you have never seen before or faced before. In other words … it will not be the same as it was.

I don’t think I am particularly brave but I certainly don’t look back once I decide to go … and I have no qualms with standing still amidst movement. I tend to believe it is not bravery but rather experience.

Ah. Experience. Maybe you need to be brave to gain useful experience?

Ok.

That’s another post for another day ……..

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“Sometimes people let the same problem make them miserable for years when they could just say, ‘So what’.

“Cowardice” and “self-respect” have largely disappeared from public discourse.

In their place we are offered “self-esteem” as the bellwether of success and a proxy for dignity.

“Self-respect” implies that one recognizes standards, and judges oneself worthy by the degree to which one lives up to them.

“Self-esteem” simply means that one feels good about oneself.”

Dignity” used to refer to the self-mastery and fortitude with which a person conducted himself in the face of life’s vicissitudes and the boorish behavior of others.

Now, judging by campus speech codes, dignity requires that we never encounter a discouraging word and that others be coerced into acting respectfully, evidently on the assumption that we are powerless to prevent our degradation if exposed to the demeaning behavior of others.

These are signposts proclaiming the insubstantiality of our character, the hollowness of our souls.

=

A NATION OF COWARDS
Jeffrey R. Snyder 1993

———————–

“Tragedy in life normally comes with betrayal and compromise, and trading on your integrity and not having dignity in life. That’s really where failure comes.”

=

Tom Cochrane

———————-

So.

What is the biggest failure in today’s world? What is the biggest tragedy <or possibly ‘travesty’> in today’s world?

In my mind it is quite possibly our betrayal of integrity and dignity. It could quite possibly be the fact we have shelved dignity to some dusty shelf all the while proclaiming the insubstantiality of our character, the hollowness of our souls.

Look.

I am a hope guy, but on occasion I look around the world and find hope is buried underneath a lot of despair. Ok. Certainly buried under a lot of ‘less than desirable’ behavior by people. And while it is easy to seek blame in politicians and leadership and religion it is harder, but possibly a truer and more valuable exercise, to look at ourselves and individual action. I would argue that within looking at ourselves, undertaking this personal reflection, one has to wonder about dignity in today’s society.

The idea of dignity seems simple enough. But it is actually fairly complex.

Well. As I think about dignity I think <or it feels this way> the meaning of dignity has shifted over time. Oh. I don’t mean this as a generational thing. I just mean it as that over the span of decades dignity is being defined, and thought of, differently. I cannot figure out why because while dignity as an idea is a timeless one it has become wrapped in a ‘dated’ aspect.

To me dignity should be unshifting. It should be a conviction with regard to how one lives, and values, Life.

To me it retains a belief of a some higher potential of acting within some moral excellence construct. Something that resonates throughout everyone’s actions.

Am I too idealistic? Do I ask too much of people? Well. I would ask everyone: what is Life if not meant to be faced with dignity?

In fact. Dignity seems, to me, to be of higher value than wisdom or enlightenment or even respect. Dignity is part of the soul of which resides within each of us … it represents the substantialness of individual character. In other words … it is the foundation upon which all else is built. It is a foundation which one could argue provides the strength to face the inevitable of Life.

Life is often is a battle against the inevitable <and feel free and define inevitable any way you would like>.

Regardless. To face the fate Life gives us is to have the courage to live even if it means not doing everything that everyone else expects we should have done, and even ourselves might have wished, and do so with perhaps more dignity … than wisdom.

Now.

To be clear when I discuss this betrayal to dignity, to me, we have surrendered our sense of dignity — it was not taken away.

———–

“One’s dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered.”

Michael J. Fox

——————-

Suffice it to say we have surrendered in the most despicable way — we have become silent with regard to dignity. Yes. Silent. We just don’t speak about dignity often these days. And without speaking … the silence has become overcome with other words & thoughts. Overcome with words & thoughts like wealth and power, success and fame.

These are selfish esteem characteristics <or selfish aspects of character> which represent the hollowness of the soul. In addition. Lost in their glamor & fame is that they are outcomes of behavior not outcomes of character and, yet, I sometimes believe we confuse the outcomes.

As one online writer said … “we have become convinced we are nothing but packets of protoplasm governed by selfish genes, clever monkeys with college degrees and business cards plying across highways rather than trees.”

I don’t argue that living in today’s world that it isn’t difficult to activate your selfish genes. The world almost demands you do <’no one will take care of yourself but yourself’>. But by permitting the selfish genes to take over we have foregone some very important Life aspects.

Things like:

Living with dignity.

Dignity of actions.

Dignity of attitude.

Dignity of self.

While it certainly seems like we are in a ‘selfish driven world’ <or at least an “I-driven” world> … when I think about dignity <which I imagine I do far too often> I admit that I am a little surprised that dignity has fallen down so far on our list of ‘desired character attributes.’

Why am I surprised?

Well.

Getting back to the “I-driven” world — dignity, at its core, is closely connected with the idea of individuality. It is associated with how one sees oneself as well as how one reflects upon one’s distinctness, or clarity of self as seen by others, in Life. And I, or self reflection, is a pretty powerful motivator with regard to character.

Individuality means self-control and self-mastery, freedom from the sway of passion and prejudice, the ability to actively determine oneself.

In fact … I could suggest that to live with dignity means to be one’s own master. Ruler of your own empire as it were. Certainly master of your own destiny.

Unfortunately Life is infringing on all our “I” objectives. It seems like the grind of everyday Life is making us think less of our own ‘empire’ <that would be our character and self respect> and more about what we think of as ‘survival’ <just making it through the day>.

That is scary to me. Scary for not only civilization but scary with regard to … well … one’s soul.

Sure. Discussing dignity may sound strange <if not frivolous> in today’s world when our frantic struggle to make ends meet hardly allows us the time to ponder such lofty things. But if we do pause a moment to give this question a little thought, we would realize soon enough that it is not merely the idle musing of someone with too much time on his hands. The question not only touches on the very meaning of our lives, but goes even beyond us personally in that it impacts culture.

For if it isn’t possible to live with dignity then life is simply measured by outcomes < wealth and power, success and fame>. I find it hard to imagine that the sense of the idea of living with dignity doesn’t have some intrinsic value to who and what we are as people.

—–

So many roads, so much at stake

So many dead ends, I’m at the edge of the lake

Sometimes I wonder what it’s gonna take

To find dignity.

Bob Dylan

—-

Look. I know Life is far from simple. And ‘dignity’ is challenged daily by a Life that is difficult and complex and filled with conflicts <decisions and choices> and moral ambiguity.

Every day, even though we may only see our ‘to do list’, we face numerous crossroad moments each of which offer a potential step toward either good or bad <evil>. And often you cannot see down the path you have just taken a step on. This moral complexity can sometimes make life a pretty painful struggle, but at the same time it also creates a fertile opportunity for growing a healthy dignity.

I would suggest it is at, and within, the everyday ambiguous crossroads moments, choices & decisions in Life that we can either rise to the heights of greatness or fall to almost incomprehensible depths of ‘less than.’

This can become an even more overwhelming thought as you recognize these everyday crossroad moments continuously branch out from the present moment and choice and all the while each choice depends on us as an individual to choose.

I would actually argue that deciding to face Life, and people, with dignity can make this all easier if not simpler.

We face the choicewith dignity … or we don’t.

We face the choice with blame … or respect for our responsibility within the moment.

We face the choice, each as a smaller moral choice, as a building block for not only our individual dignity … but a larger building block for the dignity in human life.

Now. I am not suggesting that dignity either comes easy or without a cost.

———

The fight for justice against corruption is never easy. It never has been and never will be.

In the end, I believe, as in my case, the price we pay is well worth holding on to our dignity.

Frank Serpico

————————-

I included this quote to remind everyone that each crossroad is fraught with peril and that corruption can be tangible as in crime or intangible as in the soul of Life itself. At each crossroad .Life, and choices, attempts to corrupt your dignity. And maybe that is why we elect to not discuss dignity as much as we should.

I don’t know.

All I know is that dignity SHOULD be discussed more and we should recognize it has value and we should understand dignity is not easily won. It is won through deeds and choices.

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“Honour is purchas’d by the deeds we do.”

Marlowe

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And its victory brings a reward that isn’t measured in some tangible outcome but rather through a quiet personal Life dignity which can sometimes only offer an affirmation a Life well lived.

Anyway.

Living a life of dignity is not easy. You have to say no to those around you, you have to say no to society and you most importantly have to say no to yourself. With the sheer amount of everyday crossroad moments each and every one of us faces … we need to maintain a certain discipline to maintain our dignity.

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“Self-respect is the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself.”

Abraham Joshua Heschel

==

Dignity is a self-thing … what I mean by that is … well … it is a measurement of self. Not really an external measurement. Dignity is actually a combination of attitude & behavior … an acceptance and an action. Dignity is accepting the things ‘not done’ or things we need to apologize for:

Words.

Actions.

Omissions.

Dignity is measuring oneself’s actions … failing to step up, or step in, or step to someone’s side <when they needed it>.

Dignity is standing there and say you’re sorry. Say you’re sorry, say why you’re sorry, and take all the blame. No less, no more <without including anything that places even the tiniest amount of blame back on the other person>.

Dignity is recognizing you are a work in progress … seeking to be better than before … and accepting it publicly.

And maybe that is what I wish we would remember most about dignity … and talk about it … and aspire to live a more dignified life. Living life in the best way you can, the most honorable way possible and, well, just try to be better than the day before.

——

“He felt he was himself and did not want to be otherwise.

He only wanted to be better than he had been before. “

Leo Tolstoy

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In the end. Maybe this is all I really need to say about Dignity.

Dignity, in the end, is understanding that no one is your enemy … except maybe yourself.