Just Saying…You Ruined Colors for Me!

I’d like to extend a special ‘thank you’ to the gangs of the world. Thank you for ruining colors for the rest of the world, you selfish sons of bitches. I hope you choke on a cup full of watercolors. Why did you have to pick the most popular colors in the world? The bloods took red, and that didn’t really hurt me because it’s not at the top of my list. The crips took blue, and that shit hurt me to the core. Dammit! The sky is blue, the ocean is blue, and I can’t wear it without catching 30 hot slugs. Yellow is also near the bottom of my list, and the Latin Kings ruined any possibility of that replacing red or blue.

You couldn’t pick a less common color. It’s not like the cops and rival gangs don’t notice of group of shady dudes wearing the same color. And this brings me to the next point. Wouldn’t you want to keep a low profile if you were always doing illegal shit…just saying. Common sense goes a long way. What about hot pink? Show hot pink some love, and you might not get stopped every time you go to the store for blunts and bubble gum. Was doo doo brown also unavailable? At least that would symbolize your place on my respect food chain, straight bullshit. You fuckers should just get face tattoos or quit at life and give me my blue back!

It’s not just gangs either. Let’s talk about the rainbow for a second. The GLBT community gained an identity, and I had to shed a part of mine. I can’t wear rainbow suspenders, belts, or put the stickers up in my room without people thinking I’m gay or a pre-op tranny. The rainbow! Think about it. Don’t start commenting and calling me a homophobe and all that nonsense because this is as true as it gets. You can’t be a straight man and be associated with rainbows anymore unless you’re a nature photographer. The GLBT community, of course, gets way more love than gangs, but not for the reason you think. I’m still sad that they chose the rainbow, but at least it represents a diverse group of people, not a group of low-life assholes with chips on their shoulders.