10 Rules for Driving on Indian Roads

Alright people, print this out and stick it on a wall in front of your desk. Print bumper stickers if you like. Forward this to all friends, foes and colleagues.

The following tips will save your life. They will make you the king of Indian roads. Nobody will ever overtake you again. Not in life. Not on the road. Here’s 10 rules for driving on Indian roads. Based on careful analysis derived from personal experiences, market research and interviews, primarily with myself.

Read, and remember. And rule.

1. In a road accident, the one with the cheaper vehicle wins by default. If a BMW hits a rickshaw, it must be the fault of the rich brat most likely on cocaine.

2. It is perfectly acceptable to suddenly go across 3 lanes if you suddenly remember that you need to take a right turn. What else will you do?

3. Drunk driving is fine, as long as you have the connections.

4. If at an intersection you fail to move within a second of the light turning green, the person behind has the right to shoot you.

5. Backing down halfway from flyovers is acceptable.

6. If going wrong side saves you anything more than 200m worth of distance, then it is allowed. Rickshaws are exempted from this limit.

7. No rules apply to motorbikes. Really. Overtake from any side. Drive on the road. On the pavement. Over people. It is all ok.

8. Cyclists must pray to their respective gods before leaving the home. No other way out.

9. When in doubt, use the horn. [Which truly must be the best human invention since the mobile phone.]

10. Work like you don’t need money, Love like you’ve never been hurt, dance like no one’s watching, and drive like noone’s waiting back home.

Because driving should be fun. For the man who doesn’t have to try, err, too hard.

Thanks for visiting Amreekandesi! If you liked this post, please help inflate my ego by subscribing to the feed and get regular updates. My second novel 'Democrazy' is out now. This one is a political satire taking on the holy cows of modern India. You can buy it at Amazon or at your favorite store.

indeed, best presentation of facts on driving styles on roads and is an eye-opener.

Also,the traffic police remains silent spectator of erratic driving on the roads by motors, motor- cycles ,buses. Perhaps various road accidents can be avioded if at least preventive measures are adopted.

I would like to add few rules:
— If a passenger vehicle is of capacity X persons,
multiply by 2.5 when you are driving it in rural areas
and add 2 if you are driving in city.
— If you are driving a water tank truck, you are allowed to drain it on road while driving. No need to close tap fully.
— It is not compulsory to use headlamps at night.

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All content on this site is the personal opinion of the writer. It is in no way related to their employer or their official policies. Most of what is written here is in a satirical tone. If it hurts your sensibilities, I sincerely apologize.