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"I have never welcomed the weakening of family ties by politics or pressure" - Nelson Mandela."He who travels for love finds a thousand miles no longer than one" - Japanese proverb."Everyone has the right to respect for his private and family life, his home and his correspondence." - Article 8 of the European Convention on Human Rights."When people's love is divided by law, it is the law that needs to change". - David Cameron.

Monday, 13 January 2014

Lucinda & Karim

“We will move to another country in Europe, aiding the net migration target – it’s the only route to being a family.”

Lucinda is a British citizen with a 2:1 from Cambridge University. She is currently living with her mum in Leeds because she has been forced into single parenthood only because her husband, Karim, is from Albania and with whom she has a son, a British son. The couple have known each other since Lucinda was 21. She is now 30.

She doesn’t remember the first time they met, though is told that he was there. She remembers the second time though – they were sharing a house in Thessaloniki, Greece, as part of a big group who lived together there for a couple of years. Lucinda was studying Greek and Karim was working as a builder’s labourer.

Lucinda recalls how she used to complain about him to a mutual friend ‘I’m so sick of him’, ‘Why does he do this?;, ‘Why is he always looking at me?’. “Can’t you see he is crazy about you?” her friend would say. There were some nice times as well. Karim would meet Lucinda after work and they’d go for long walks along the harbour, drinking cans of Amstel. Fond memories from a more carefree time.

Eventually the entire group went their separate ways. Lucinda went to Cambridge to study Greek language and literature and Karim moved to Athens. They stayed in touch online and a couple of years later, on her year abroad in Athens, the couple met and this time, sparks flew. Karim came to take Lucinda for coffee on a huge motorbike. He’d grown a beard, filled out a bit and looked very handsome. Now it was Lucinda’s turn to swoon!

They talked and laughed all afternoon - and spent every day together from then on. Karim financially supported Lucinda as the credit crunch was taking its toll and jobs were scarce. The couple talked about their future, planning on Lucinda finishing university and then applying for a visa for Karim to come to the UK. They wanted to be settled and have good jobs before getting married. Do things properly.

However, things didn’t go as planned when on 9th March 2012 Lucinda found out she was pregnant. She was thrilled and the couple brought forward their plans to marry. Lucinda left Athens to begin antenatal care at home and continue her studies. They spoke on Skype every day and she sent Karim regular pictures of the bump.

Throughout all this Lucinda was in the final year of her degree, working really hard, always focusing on the point in the future when this would pay off; where she’d be able to earn over £18,600 and also provide for her son. Karim was refused a visa to be there for their son’s birth, with Home Office declaring that he would likely overstay and become a burden on the taxpayer, an illegal immigrant. Of course he’d leave! The couple knew the repercussions for being in breach of visa regulations, why risk it? Lucinda was adamant that the government was blurring the lines so entirely that now even someone wishing to be with his wife for the birth of their son was being mistreated for trying to follow the rules.

Lucinda has postponed indefinitely her desire to obtain postgraduate qualifications as she can’t commit to anything until her family is together. She doesn’t know how to function without her son’s father. If Karim was here, Lucinda would have been able to study, or work full time. Instead she is stuck on benefits despite having graduated from Cambridge University.

She is on the homeless register and moved house four times between June and October 2013. She has used up her savings to travel to Greece, Italy and Albania this year alone, and is planning another journey– but these are not holidays. They’re to ensure that her son and husband have a fighting chance to get to know one another, to build a relationship, to spend time together. These early moments in a child’s life do not come around again and they are little for such a short time after all.

Her son has travelled at the age of 4, 8 and now again at 10 months– and there is no end in sight. He has never had a room of his own, never had his pictures on the wall or books on a shelf, everything has been in and out of suitcases.

But it won’t be easy. All of the baby’s stuff will have to be left behind – the cot that’s never been unpacked, the highchair that she really needs but will have to buy from wherever in the world they end up in. Her books and kitchen stuff she collected in dreams of creating a home with her husband and child. She doesn’t know what she will do about her son’s next set of immunisations.

Lucinda believes the government should make a public health announcement as a matter of urgency stating:

WARNING:BRITISH CITIZENS PLANNING TO MEET, BEFRIEND OR HAVE A ROMANTICRELATIONSHIP WITH NON-EU CITIZENS ARE EXPOSING THEMSELVES AND ANYCHILDREN TO SIGNIFICANT LONG-TERM DAMAGE WHICH CAN BE IN SOMECASES, IRREVERSIBLE.MARRIAGES TO NON-EU CITIZENS CAN RESULT IN SEVERE EMOTIONAL ANDPHYSICAL DISTRESS FOR ALL INVOLVED.ANYONE KNOWINGLY TAKING PART IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A NON-EUCITIZEN DOES SO AT THEIR OWN RISK.