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Monday for a Mom

I’m pretty sure that both of my kids went to school with death-breath this morning. If I were to ask them why they did not brush their teeth I am positive they would tell me that they didn’t have time. DIDN’T HAVE TIME?! Dude, they sat there forever and a day playing with fidget spinners while bragging about who’s will spin faster. I do not care about how fast their fidget spinner spins. I care more about how fast their toothbrush can spin, who has made their bed, who isn’t sneaking a lunchbox full of candy to school, and who is jumping on my bed like a kangaroo.

I’m beginning to think my kids need a hearing aid the size of a megaphone. I have answered the same question at least fifty nine times this morning alone. And each time I have to tell them that I do not know where their imaginary friend is. “Jimmy! Come out Jimmy! I promise not to eat your burgers again.” This seems to make the kids giggle and another 2 minutes fly by with no more progress to get leave the house on time.

I’ve got the dog barking, kids making a mess, my hair dryer in one hand, and makeup in the other hand all at the same time I’m trying to put my clothes on. The kids decide now is the time to play with water balloons. I was not aware that we were on holiday and please tell me that if it is, I can bring out the adult drinks already.

Finally, we are in the car, my hair is still wet, and I look like a poodle. I can smell death breath hitting me in the face on the way to school. I was to late and I was not willing to turn around. I had planned to do a drive by at the school. A “slow down the car but not stopping all the way, open the door, and push the kids out” kind of thing. I didn’t do it though.

I clocked in at 7:59. Clock in time is at 8 and this is my story every single morning.