Dating Preferences Are NOT Racist

You Can't Control Who You're Attracted To

A person cannot help who they are attracted to. These sorts of preferences are not something you are conscious of. It is what it is. If you're not attracted to black people, It's not your fault it is part of your nature. You can't force someone to like you.

Like Attracts Like

If we're in unknown town, we feel more comfortable with people sharing a mutual hometown. Same applies for dating preferences. It is normal to seek out people for dating and relationships who share similar experiences. People associate certain races and religions with certain cultures and if that specific race or religion is abstract or significantly different from their own, it can create an element of incompatibility. This does not make dating or a relationship possible.

Racism is About Not Treating People Equally

Prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one's own race is superior. (Oxford DIctionary). If you're not dating girls out of your race then that doesn't mean you're a racist. Racism is about treating races unequally. There's a difference between rejecting job to someone because of their race and not dating because you don't find them attractive (as explained in the first point) After all dating someone is a personal preference and rejecting job is a social thing.

Small penises, treat women poorly, high intelligence, completely controlled by family and cultural traditions and practices, little to no sex vibe, bad personal hygiene, often smelling of bad body odor and curry based spices.White (Anglo Saxon) Men

Superiority complex, self-important and full of entitlement, complacent, lazy, apathetic, bland and boring, average in bed, and unaware of their own stupidity.Latin/Hispanic Men

Absent fathers, uneducated and unintelligent, machismo and misogynistic, love to be a part of gangs and are often involved in criminal activity, insanely jealous and possessive, and prone to illegal immigration activities.

(I don't claim them to be true. I found them commonly on internet)

Steriotypes do exist for a reason. Being Indian, I can say Indian Men's stereotype partially true for many. I do have some traits from it not all. And it is fine if a girl finds those trends unattractive. That doesn't make you racist. It is just your personal choice.

Sex is Better With Loved Ones

We're familiar with this. Sexual experience is much better if you're having it, someone you're attracted to. Referring to my first point, even if a black guy has BBC and you're not attracted to him, you're less likely to enjoy sex.

Using Same Logic For Other Habits

If we consider other hobbies as well, it gets really simple to judge which is wrong. Here's an example is given by OlderAndWiser

I refuse to date a smoker, so I am tobaccophobic (even though all smokers are not alike.) I refuse to date a woman who is not intelligent so I am stupidphobic (while some are not as stupid as others.) And I am not interested in dating a woman less than 5' 0" tall so I am midgetphobic (but mot all are munchkins.)

What Girls Said 20

It's true that you can't help who you're attracted (or not attracted) to. But dating preferences CAN definitely be racist. Maybe they're not inherently or automatically racist, but a lot of people do have racial preferences that are purely based on racist views, and not based on what they're attracted to.

I love this post, it's a perfect response to the previous post. Everyone has their preference, and when people say ridiculous things like attractions are racist it actually removes credibility from people who aim to fight true racism.

I think saying "I only date blondes." sounds completely different than "I prefer blondes." In one case, you're automatically excluding everyone that isn't blonde, no matter how hot she is. In the other case, you're open to dating a non-blonde if she's hot.Whether someone actually means the first when they say the latter is another topic.

I agree. Plus if you're not sttracted to a certain race for whatever reason then that's one thing. Though not wanting to date someone of a certain race because you believe they hold some specific stereotype true is kind of dickish.

I've met a lot of people of many different races who don't hold true to the stereotype of their race. Chances are if someone sees a person of a specific race and jump to the "They must be this stereotype", then they have a very limited world view and should probably get out more.

Not preferring to date a race, and hating a race are completely different things. I understand the problem with hierarchy and the media, so sadly it does exist in a way. But not in the way people claim it to be.

I'm not racist for this but, I'm not attracted to black or Asian men because my mother married an Asian mad when i was young but he didn't look Asian he looked asian/ black as he is so dark in skin tone... so now for some weird reason I can't look at Asian or black men without them reminding me of my step dad so I'm not attracted to them :')

1

0|1

0|1

What Guys Said 31

Both of those my takes were wrong. While you both said some true things, you both missed the mark completely, and the fact that people are applauding this take like a bunch of walruses while bashing the other one when both are equal in inaccuracy shows that this site is as deluded as a girl on LSD.

Racial preferences CAN be racist but at the same token they also CANNOT be racist. It depends entirely behind the reasoning for the preference. Is the preference rooted from a negative pre-existing belief that you have about that race or is it rooted in genuine attractiveness/unattractiveness for a particular group?

If a person has a preference for dark skin, curly hair, no freckles, and brown eyes then it makes sense that such person would rank white people dead last on their list of potential dating partners, since the traits they desire are more in abundance among Black and Hispanic people. That is what you call a racial preferences that's not racist, since it's based on genuine attractiveness.

A racial preferences that is racist is one that's rooted not from attractiveness, but stereotypes and false beliefs about said group. If a person refuse to date white people because they feel that all white people are undercover KKK members who routinely have orgies with their pet dogs and cats, then that would be a racist reason to not prefer them.

While it's not a form of racism that would put you in jail or get sued (since its personal and only affecting you), it's still a form of racism since you're making a wide generalization about a particular group based on nothing but your resentment for them or ignorance toward them.

Hmmmm. . . interesting. I am not saying you have to convince people. But you are kind of complicit on the stereotypes of Indian men by reinforcing them. I am sure Indian culture is different than American Culture as is almost every culture that exists in other nations on this planet. There is no need for comparing, contrasting, and ranking them. I am sure most Indians in India are very happy with the culture they choose to participate in.

I dated an Indian-American woman for a time who believed in the negative stereotypes of Indian men. This while never even taking the time to visit India. I had to break it off. Because I was not sure of the stereotypes she believed about "Black" men.

I am not a stereotype. And while I have not traveled to India, I surely have not met an Indian man who was a stereotype either.

Hey, I can't change what you believe about your "own" people, well that is if you claim them as such. I am just pointing out the issue in identifying as an Indian man. . . and then claiming you are the "exception" to the rule. I think I have shown that is problematic, even if you don't get married or have a single intimate relationship for the rest of your life.

Why do I have to visit India? I mean, "Being a Good Indian" has invited me and I do wish to take him up on his invitation.

But most of the Indian guys I know were born in India. I do know one who was born here. And I can assure you. . . the women he has nailed, "Black", "White" or other. . . have not given any indication that penis size was a problem.

But again, I am talking with someone who sees his own grouping in a negative light. So I won't seek to convince you. I just feel sorry for you. It has to be painful. . . to only see yourself positively. . . by measuring how much you are unlike other Indian men.

But I admire your courage in sharing your viewpoint. I just don't agree with it. Stereotyping is silly and pointless even if it is done by a person claiming to be a member of the culture.

I couldn't agree more. Excellent response to the previous take. Sometimes it feels like that for some people almost anything can be racist nowadays. Sadly racism is a real problem in the world, these people who yell that everything is racist do more harm than good. Attention is drawn away from the real issues by these unbelievable H&M ad "scandals" etc.

Like someone said in the comments of previous take, racism is a choice, personal preferences or attractions aren't.

Datin preferences are not racist, datin "preferences" based on race can be racist though, and are more than likely based on stereotypin a certain group.. Also, stereotypes exist because a few loud people perpetuate them, but the fact that you use them shows that you ain't seein the people as individual but groupin them together as a "race" or type.. SMH.. G@G is a terrible platform.. LMAO..

Sure it is not racism. It's true that you can't control who you are attracted to, and attraction is the result of so many factors, includiding subconcious ones.

I only think that is gross to being vocal about preferences and it's utterly dumb in an unforgivable way to believing in racial stereotypes. That people just should die out. But there's an advantage: you can easily spot those assholes and excludes them from your life.

I'm white and call me a racist but I reached the point of not being overly attracted to white women. Our adopted daughter is a very dark skinned black girl. She isn't attracted to black men. When she says "Why would I want to date someone who looks like me", I am the only one in the house who gets it. I don't want to date someone who looks like me. Give me something different to look at.

I have dated outside my race.. I chose them and they , me because of a mutual attraction. I dont treat anyone "race" differently from my own, but I do welcome learning about some of the differences between my culture and theirs..

When I was younger I tried dating girls from different races and cultures. It just never worked out. My wife is a different religion then me but neither of us are very religious. That has not caused any problems.

Speaking of stereotypes, boarding a Greyhound bus from Chicago to St. Louis, Black woman gets on bus without verifying her boarding pass with our Asian bus driver throwing of his passenger count. He has to delay our departure to recount and discovers she's the odd woman out. He proceeds to scold her for not following the rules. She gets emotional and snaps back. He wags his finger at her and retorts (in a stereotypical Asian accent) "DON'T MAKE A SCENE! DON'T MAKE A SCENE! YOU PEOPLE ALL THE SAME, UNEDUCATED!" While he's walking towards the driver's seat, she responds "I GRADUATED FROM UNIVERSITY XYZ. CHECK THE STATS! CHECK THE STATS!" To which he turned around and finished the exchange, "I SAID DON'T MAKE SCENE!. LIKE I SAID, UNEDUCATED!"