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Funny satire stories about vomit

Desperate to regain the media spotlight after the lackluster sales of her recent album "Artpop," pop singer Lady Gaga has gotten her name in the news for the dubious act of paying someone to vomit on her, an act that health activists are decrying as...

NEW YORK CITY (ABSNN) - City Health Inspectors rated the restaurant owned by Lady Gaga "at below 'C' level for 42 critical sanitation violations."
The very best rating is "A."
The report was released today and was actually a re-inspection of...

What are you doing tonight?
"Yea, man, like let's go down to Washington DC par-tay in George Town! I mean, were going to have a great time, have a few brewskis, find some ladies, oh yea, let's go!"
The Reality
First you go down to George Town and your ride is a geeky friends 1991 Volkswagen rabbit. You sit in traffic for an hour to get into George Town and then you can't find a parking sp...

Newt Gingrich held a press conference yesterday in Biloxi, Mississippi and predicted that if Mitt Romney is nominated as the GOP candidate, "there will mass nausea and projectile vomiting at the convention!" Gingrich elaborated, "And this sickness wi...

Frank Miller investigates past and present Police methods of tackling the increase of drunken behaviour on the streets of the UK.
Another ASBO
You may have heard about the Drunken ASBO launched this week, but this isn't the whole story.
In a less publicised initiative, the streets of Newport in Wales have become the arena for a new pilot scheme which about to begin its six month trial.

It seemed like a good idea at the time. But a belching and barfing statue sculpted by local art student, Bohdi Jansen, managed to remain on display inside a local shopping mall a mere 20 minutes before being carted off by mall authorities.
"Well...

With the festive season well under way, it has transpired that bulimics are deliberately infecting themselves with the norovirus, otherwise known as the Winter Vomiting Virus.
This incredibly aggressive virus begins with mild cold symptoms before...

A new sport has been created that could take the world by surprise. It was 'invented' by Wilfred Retch of Shrewsbury who had, along with his brother Richard, been to see his grandfather at the Royal Shrewsbury Hospital earlier last year. On their way...

London - (AssoCIAted Mess): GPs'surgeries are fighting to stave off a pandemic of sudden projectile vomiting syndrome that has struck the country following a news leak that George W Bush is to be guest of honor at Saturday's Trooping of...

To help the worldwide food crisis brought on by President Bush, hundreds of barrels of manatee vomit made into loaves were shipped in to the hideously disgusting African port of Ngumbobzuti Zhambouti on cargo ships this week.

HALIFAX, Nova Scrotia- Bush praised Canadians today in Halifax of their assistance after 9/11. Half of the population was very pissed off of his arrival. But most Canadian-Bush-Haters flopped their opinions Kerry style when Bush explained "blah...

Is it just me, or as we get older do we have to put up with an increasing frequency of vomiters? I wouldn't say that I see vomit and hear vomiting everytime I step onto the streets. But when I do venture outside of my cave, it appears that I'm constantly forced to dodge the splatter against the lamp-posts.
I step out of a night-club or a bar and what do I see? Drunk people and Vomit...

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Emperor Finally Issues A "Secure Borders" Edict

Barack I degreed today all borders of the US Empire shall be sealed to prevent entry of the "undesirable alien" Bibi Netanyahu. Chief of Secret Storm Troopers, Eric Holder, will personally enforce it.

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