Category: love

The tulips are better this year than ever.
It was during our engagement we planted them. Before we had any gardening sense we thought it would be brilliant if we could not only grow the flowers for our wedding, but then enjoy their beauty every year as they bloomed.
Our timing was a bit off on the tulips for the wedding, but not for life. They have sprouted their way each following spring and with them a reminder of the beauty to come, of the seeds and bulbs we have planted for our relationship in the past, a reminder of rebirth.
But there is something about this season’s tulips. They are stronger, taller, more radiant than ever before. Time has developed them. Practice has effortlessly made them more striking and unique.
Of course this observation is dependent on my eyes too. My perspective, I am sure, has changed having come through the the colorless winter. Nevertheless, I can see the miracle now. The tulips and us are stronger, more rooted, more captivating than ever before. Time has been a good friend.

There was something off this morning. I couldn’t put my finger on it. I keep on thinking and relating tonight’s Christmas service to going to the hospital. To an actual birth, of an actual child in today’s modern age. But it wasn’t until my meditation that I really understood what was going on. While visions of cleaning the house, and organizing my closet, and finalizing gifts, rushed through my mind, my heart was simply not with it. These to do lists of everything surrounding me were the “nesting” aspects of bringing in a new child to a home. Yet I quickly, oh so very quickly, realized that it was not my home that needed to be prepared – it was me.

I could feel a literal pull from my heart and immediate tears well in my eyes. My deepest desire was more that the clutter in my heart that was taking up the space for this new Light be removed and I be connected again. I needed to nest myself, not my home, for this coming Child and all that He promises.

So my tearful prayer is that while I have become off-balance with my devotion and spiritual practices, that I too may be restored. My prayer is that I am made ready for the Joy, the Bliss, the Promise of Christmas. My preparation in this 11th hour is that I may practice self love, which might entail sitting in a messy home, just telling myself “I love you”, despite the bloat from Christmas treats, or the list that is hard to forget that streams through my mind. I ask that I may be ready for the coming Life. I ask that I may be restored to be a clear channel of the coming Joy. I ask that my ego be silenced, and Love pour through my body and seep into my mind in an endless stream. I ask today, that I be made ready and whole for the promise of Life that is coming.

“Today I prepare myself for the Divine in all its glory to come and live within me.”

I believe the unbelievable, not because it’s wishful, but because it’s spiritual truth. If we depend upon our own minds too much then there is no room for God to come in and adjust our limited perspectives. We do not know everything. We cannot see everything and must acknowledge our limits and depend on the All-Knowing to alter us, surprise and and leave us in awe. I repeat to myself, “I believe the unbelievable” because it is my invitation to God to show me His presence and power in days when I trust too much on the things I see around me. I believe the unbelievable because I believe in God and I believe in Life and its endless and boundless abilities and Forms. I believe the unbelievable because I am honest and believe in the Truth.

And so it begins. The excitement, the joy, the freshness of the season has arrived. Just when things are starting to look drab, when days are a bit cold, and daily routines taste a little stale it has come. I love this time. I love it because it starts with thanks and ends with love and in between is filled with movies about miracles and cookies and a twinge if not a bucketload of belief in the good of humanity. Its as if I have been given a Christmas gift early. Drops of joy that are bottled up and distributed adding a glisten to every moment. Its the excitement if seeing old friends, of giving and getting. Of photo cards coming into homes and a recognition of each other as siblings. More candles are lit than other times and its more culturally acceptable to simply be happy. Yes. It’s all wrapped up for us again this year in the rituals, the songs, the lights. And it all makes me overwhelmed with gratitude that seeps out in tears and makes me fall to the ground in worship of this Life. My blessings this Thanksgiving are too abundant to count. But I know just like looking at clear winter sky studding with more stars than can be counted that its not about a quantitative measure but our submission and awe as we recognize that we are a part of and able to enjoy such majesty.

While I was going to bed last night, this was the phrase that kept coming to me. “I love and accept you just are you are right now.”

I was thinking of a family member, one who I had always held at a distance, and I cannot begin to describe the emotion and the love that began to flow from me to them. In an instant, I saw them, not as I always had, through the judgmental eyes that I had, but through the lens of compassion. Instead of thinking of the changes I thought they should make, or that would be easy for them to do, I felt their suffering. I was deeply pained by things I had never thought of. The problems, issues and prejudices that they had to face every day. How blind I was to their continuous suffering, which I know was so painful for them as well. It was truly one of those moments that knocked me down and showed me how far I have been from truly loving.

I continued to say it. I continued to tell them through my thoughts and prayers that I love and accept them exactly as they are right now. Through the compassionate suffering I felt they were going through, I also felt deep love that I didn’t know I could give to someone. I felt the power of this love course through me and descend upon them. For the first time, I felt the depth and love of true acceptance.

After this experience, I realize I am a toddler in this life, just learning these new things, having a breakthrough in a step towards walking in love. While incredibly simple, I know I will fall down again. But for today, and for all consciously lived days ahead, I will continue to genuinely love and accept those in my life, and myself, exactly as we are right now.

This might be one of my most important posts to date, since it directly addresses another message that is gaining momentum and attention. I sat this morning reading an article from yesterday’s New York Times entitled “In Seeking Love, Find Strength in Numbers” and with every sentence I gasped again and again in shock.

I truly feel that the message of described in this article of these two up and coming authors Ms. Rebecca Wiegand and Ms. Jessica Massa, of Gaggle, is wrong. In fact, I would go as far as to say it is the direct opposite of what we should be listening to and learning.

This message, delivered in small group discussions during happy hours in NYC and in their book is essentially to not only accept, but to embrace the horribly low standards for romantic relationships that seem to be around us. According to the article, these women talk about embracing hook up culture, expecting text messages instead of phone calls and relinquishing the “rules” of yesteryear. “We cannot expect to impose upon this world a set of rules, a set of regulations, a set of expectations.”

Oh really? These two authors, who I would love to know their love story, are out spreading a message that will truly never let the Perfect, Divine Love and Relationship come to them or those that buy into their standard-lowering propaganda.

That is why this post is a call to arms. I cannot help but act against them and their message. It is our responsibility, as established women with great dreams, to hold the bar high. To plant and stand firm by the standards that we desire in our lives and in our relationships. It is NOT asking for too much to have monogamy, phone calls, flowers- yes, romance. That is asking of the littlest we could – it’s like asking for air to breath.

As A Course in Miracles states, “it is not that we ask for too much, but that we are asking for too little”. You must hold true to our highest standards – to falling head over heels in love with someone who understands you and gets you more than you understand yourself. To having high romance, where he comes before you and fulfills your dreams for you. It is about feeling more free sexually than you have ever dreamed because you can open up in the safest place have ever known- his arms. It is passionate. It is beautiful. It is exciting. It is challenging. It is deep, deep Love.

As I have written before, I will write again – Nothing, absolutely nothing, is too good to be true -especially when it comes to romantic love.

This man who completes you, who brings out the very best in you, who is fun and sexy and so deeply loving, exists. He is wishing and waiting and wanting you just as badly as you are him. The time will come. You will meet and you will not know what has happened. While everything seemed to be normal you will be rocked at your core because “the one”, the person you are connected to in ways that you cannot see or understand, has just met you again, for the first time. Nothing will be the same. No light will look the same; no food will taste the same. When you meet you are changed on a cellular level, forever.

This is the love we are all entitled to. It is not just for some of us, but for every one of us. It is one of the greatest gifts Life has to offer. We actually have to do very little to open up this inheritance – we must love ourselves and Life with the love we would shower on this person – and we must, at all costs, keep our ideal as our standard.

You are so deeply loved that you cannot even comprehend it. This Divine Love is your birthright. It is real. Wake up today and see it all around you. In everything you do, know that it is rushing towards you this very day. If it doesn’t arrive until tomorrow, you’ll be ready- tanned and joyous from your time dancing in the light of this truth.

I accept this part about my myself, and I can’t help but think that maybe if I share a bit of my craziness (as culture and society might label it) then perhaps it gives someone else permission to feel deeply the joy and blessings that they too have in their life.

The thing that I love about Life is that you never know when a moment is coming. It’s as if, in this love relationship with Life, there are surprises at every corner, floods of love and appreciation fill me in the most unexpected times. This is exactly what happened to me this morning.

I caught an earlier bus than I had ever ridden, arriving at the bus station at 6:40, so that I could make a yoga class at 7. Perhaps my soul was prepped by the iridescent pink sunrise that rose over the trees as I waited, or by the strap of my yoga mat presenting the weight of the class that was coming into my shoulder, as I felt a tangible relief in myself as I approached this day. As I took my seat on the bus, my eyes welled with tears at the thought that I was going, that today I could do yoga. I felt the presence and power of my body as a tool to bring me to peace. I felt the relief of my soul as it knew that there was now coming a time to be. The cells of my body laughed at the joy that they felt and that was altering them.

And this was all from sitting down in the bus.

Yet then, as we pulled up to the next stop, the bus driver approached me and asked me to move. I didn’t understand, but of course gladly complied. Then I saw him. An attractive young man wheeled himself into the place my seat used to be. The driver had lifted the whole row of seats and this man rolled himself into the place, allowing the driver to meticulously take some straps and attach them to his chair. Then man in the wheelchair took a gloved hand and drank from a sporty water bottle. He was clearly fit. You could tell he was a man who would have used his legs if he could.

Words, right now, are too small of containers to capture my suppliant gratitude towards Life for the gift of my legs.

The truth is, why should it be crazy that I couldn’t at that moment, and even now, stop crying out of gratitude that I have legs? Why can’t we celebrate what we have when he have it? Why can’t we pay homage to the aspects of Life and ourselves that serve us every day, not just in functional ways, but in spiritual ways too.

In the following yoga class each downward dog was a pilgrimage to this place of thankfulness. The run I dashed into from the bus to the class was a celebration of two of my best friends, my legs. The truth is, every movement and motion I take with them, is a gift of endless and greatest pleasure. It breaks my heart that not everyone can enjoy this gift, whether because they are disabled or simply distracted.

This isn’t about not taking anything for granted. This is about living a life so mindful and conscious of the life-force and ways you can use it that you can’t help but be moved in the small and dramatic moments of everyday life. It’s about being madly overwhelmed with gratitude when nothing but something inside of you has changed. It’s about loving and using every aspect of Life you have been given.

There was once when I thought it was actually unnatural and a waste of money to have a dog.

I can hear the gasps of dog lovers everywhere and can see your fingers move to the mouse to click off of this post. But wait!…. I have turned completely, and in fact find dogs to be one of Life’s best gifts.

That is why today’s post is dedicated to a lesson from them. Life certainly speaks to us through pets! And I hope to remember for myself to have the courage to be more like a dog.

Last night, I lay in bad as I usually do and thought of the many good things that were in my day, one consistent memory that kept bringing a smile to my face was of our dog and my parents dog greeting me. They were both so enthusiastic it was as if they didn’t have any control over their bodies. They were jumping up and down, spinning in circles, running into me and bulldozing me over – and this happened again and again! Nevermind the fact that I was the one that put our dog in his kennel for 6 hours before. Nevermind that I was going to have to put him back in his kennel in just 30 minutes. No. I was the greatest, most wonderful, most exciting person they could see. I was their heroine and their love. That was abundantly clear

It was amazing to me to think about how loved, needed and excited this made me feel. All this coming from a dog- an animal without anything to give – except their presence. As always, this made me think – why don’t we feel that we have enough to give to others, when a dog can give me so much? Why have I not recognized my presence and energy as a gift to give others? Why have I not greeted those I love and new friends in this way?Isn’t this presence and excitement what we really want from the ones we love?

My mind went straight to think of a handful of camp friends who actually do greet me like my dog greets me. They run and jump! They scream and throw their hands up in the air! I feel like the greatest, most wonderful person in the world – all because I simply showed up. I could remember the very first time they greeted me like this, it was as if all of a sudden I was initiated into a secret club of friendship – a membership that confirmed I was loved, I was fun, I was enough, I was part of their world. When one feels this from another it is hard not to become addicted to their presence and the love they so naturally outpour.

While a few people get to spend a lot of time at camps, where this greeting might be more prevalent, why can’t we create that culture and this salutation tradition in our own lives, every day? What would happen in our homes if we greeted each family member this way, consistently? How would our friendships change? How would our work environments or schools be altered? How different would your intimate relationship be if you committed to simply dropping everything you were doing when your love walked it and you ran to them with enthusiasm and butted your head into them, and gave them your undivided attention?

Theoretically, we can see, that this is so easy a dog can do it. Yet as humans we tend to complicate things a little. We hold back because to act and greet like a dog is actually a very risky thing. We risk looking like fools. We risk being rejected, shot down, overrun by someone’s negativity or lack of reception. But, like I said, dogs do it every day – and they don’t expect anything in return. They simply cannot help it. Could we be willing to give and act from a place where rejection doesn’t even register as a possibility, the place where, like dogs, we are so fully in the moment and loving, loving, loving? It will be then that we have the ability to change someone’s day. We can then alter their moods, their outlooks, their consistent and perhaps damaging mental loops that they ride on continuously. We can love them through a greeting. We can bring an unconditional excitement and life to them for just being them. And we can do this with everything that we already have with us right now.