Online blog written by a female with Asperger Syndrome.

I have been so unproductive today. However, I have a comment to make in regards to something featured on This Morning.

I got up today quite determined to be productive. However, I haven’t barely got anything done. I now have a phone. I’ve sent the number to all my contacts (those that I am keeping in touch with anyway). If you haven’t been sent my new number then I’m afraid you’re one of the ones that isn’t getting it. I’m not being mean but I have decided to be more private with my personal details. I don’t want to give my contact details out unless there is a need for someone to have them. I’m not sharing a photo of my hair right now. It’s not because I don’t like it. I do like it but I’m not the same person as I used to be. I used to be the type to photograph myself due a lot but I just can’t be bothered nowadays. I just appreciate my own space now. I like having time to myself and parts of me that other people don’t see. I’m just happy to not be on camera sometimes. I straightened my hair on my fb earlier but that was to use the camera for a purpose. I don’t intend on going on webcam again for a while. Anyway, it’s entirely on my own terms because I’ve given far too much of myself to others in the past. I’ve always ended up regretting it, so therefore it’s not happening anymore. I am just fed up of being disappointed by other people. I’m no longer setting myself up for disappointment.

I saw the stalkers segment on this morning. I fully understand where others are coming from in regards to unwanted contact etc. As a female, I have received quite a lot of unwanted contact and attention from males that I would never date, or in some cases even be friends with. However, I was done for harassment. I wasn’t told directly by those that have pressed charges on me to go away. I spent over two years the last time thinking that it was the university not the person involved that wanted me to go away. I understand that something needs to be done when it comes to psychotic deranged upset exes because things can get quite nasty due to passions still being felt on the side that won’t accept the ending of the relationship. I won’t enter a relationship partly because I’m scared of it ending as I find rejection soul destroying. I just feel that there needs to be a bit more understanding rather than the equivalent of a blanket ‘brick wall’ approach. I have learning difficulties. I didn’t go out to do what I did or say what I said with intent. I actually didn’t understand what I was truly saying at the time because the way it was in my head and the way it came across was completely different. I was blinded by anger at the way I’d be treated. I never even thought what might happen. I didn’t care that I was hurting someone else that I cared about at the time.

I want to educate others so that those that understand what they’re doing are the only ones prosecuted by these laws. I genuinely made a mistake and the other person wasn’t patient with me which is what I needed at that time. They met me when I’d already been through absolute hell after I’d lost my son to adoption. I wasn’t over it. I would have clung to anything or anyone because of how insecure and lost I felt. Unless people are educated they’re not going to even try to understand. I’d love to get everyone that has trolled me into a room and educate them. I would not allow them to leave until they demonstrated the adequate understanding by passing multiple tests. They may just get an insight into my life then and the implications of them not understanding.

Autism and learning difficulties is not a choice. They shouldn’t be treated as optional. It wouldn’t be optional if someone physically couldn’t walk, this is exactly the same. I am sorry if others do not agree but I’ve never been a person who has had any malicious intent. I have never snooped around or followed anyone. I may give the wrong impression because I feel things, pick things up and have dreams that are precognitive. I have no inside information and only go by what I feel. I cannot explain what I felt in regards to what went on because it was really confusing things that I did pick up. I don’t want to say the things on here anyway because I have to be mindful that I’m reading things off another person that they wouldn’t want publishing on a public blog. I may sound insane but I am sure that I’ve picked up the other person’s feelings because there have been times I got distressed and then later found out that they were too.

There is also a case where you can unintentionally send your feelings between you and another person telepathically by accident. If we were both kind of ‘in tune’ along them lines then this could have easily happen. I am quite new to the workings of that kind of thing. I’m still learning because I’m quite young. I have read cases where complete strangers link up straight away. It’s frightened me what I’ve picked up. I can imagine how frightening it may have been for the other person. I’m used to all that kind of thing because the unexplainable and ‘weird’ has been an interest of mine since a teenager. The first time you experience a ‘link’ with someone else’s mind, it is quite scary. I’ve tried to block it because of the situation but it may not go away and if the other person experiences it too they’ll see how it lingers when you don’t want it there anymore.