"It's the good advice, that you just didn't take, & who would've of thought, it figured ..." (karma: 23)By Shnaynay

On Sat Nov 12, 2005 02:18 AM

Made sticky by Lirit (28370) on 2005-11-12 10:27:35

I feel that someone needs to make a post addressing this situation, because it's becoming a problem, and I'm sure I'm not the only person to notice it.

If you ask for advice here on DDN, you're going to get it. It may not be what you were expecting, but part of life is hearing things that you don't want to hear, sometimes.

We are not going to soft-soap things for you. We are going to tell you, straight out, what we think you should do to solve your particular problem, and how we think you should go about dealing with a sticky situation that you may be in.

<b>Please, just to save everyone the trouble, don't ask for advice if you don't want it.</b>

If you think that you know everything, and you think that you're always right, and you think that you know how to handle every situation that you come up against, that's fine. But, don't post your situation on DDN, asking for advice, simply so you can argue with the people who try to help you about the advice that they are giving you.

Don't waste everyone's time. If you're not prepared to listen to the advice that you're given, DO NOT ASK FOR IT. If a post is outdated, and people continue to reply to it, don't get into an argument with anyone about it - LOCK YOUR POST.

19 Replies to "It's the good advice, that you just didn't take, & who would've of thought, it figured ..."

re: "It's the good advice, that you just didn't take, & who would've of thought, it figured ..." By dancerchica

On Sat Nov 12, 2005 09:52 AM

Good post. I just read a post recently where someone asked for advice concerning a pregnancy issue and when posters gave advice and showed concern, she got majorly upset. What gives? I'm rating you up for this one.

re: "It's the good advice, that you just didn't take, & who would've of thought, it figured ..." (karma: 1)By VeniciaDansa

On Mon Nov 14, 2005 09:34 AM

Yes Shnaynay... I too concur with your post/sticky.

I would like to add that in giving advice- we should all give the best advice; best informed, most sympathetic (give it straight, yes... but do not intentionally 'hurt' someone) and that we shouldn't argue with each other within someone else's post.
No one should post based on rhumour or folklore- I can't stand reading 'advice' that comes straight from urban legend! Be sure you have done your research... or at least be open to havig someone correct you-- as has happened to me but in reverse. I gave advice from fact and knowledge, to try to correct a previous posters rhumour advice- and was immedaitely followed by someone else saying "I've heard that that can happen too... I disagree with Venicia"... so, if you are at a computer- do a little search about the topic prior to replying based on what you heard or what your cousin's friend's auntie's hairdresser told her....
Guess I'm ranting too... but when I read a young girl's question about something personal, and she is confused and not knowing... I hate thinking that she is getting advice from someone who is basing their reply on made up goop.
Be factual... do research, be absolutely sure...if you don't have an answer- do not reply.

And yes, take the advice or leave it- but don't argue when someone has the courage to give it to you like it is...
CHeers and thank Shnaynay- Karma!

re: "It's the good advice, that you just didn't take, & who would've of thought, it figured ..." By etoile_et_lune

On Tue Nov 29, 2005 08:27 PM

Thanks for posting - it drives me insane the amount of arguments people have about outdated posts. Karma for you I might just add that, the advise most give on DDN is amazing and has really helped me through some of my toughest times

re: "It's the good advice, that you just didn't take, & who would've of thought, it figured ..." By dance_is_life_99

On Tue Nov 29, 2005 11:28 PM

I agree Shnaynay.

But let's not forget that sometimes what's really further explaining the situation so people don't get the wrong idea isn't always arguing with the advice people are giving. Because sometimes I know I've tried to further explain myself and people see it that way. As arguing with their advice I mean.

re: "It's the good advice, that you just didn't take, & who would've of thought, it figured ..." By Shnaynay

On Thu Dec 01, 2005 08:08 AM

^^ You're right. If you need to clarify something, and it's going to alter the kind of advice that you're asking for, go right ahead.

What I was refering to in this post was when people ask for advice, and when they don't get the answer that they want, or if someone disagrees with them, they argue about it, and refuse to even listen to the other person. Why bother asking? You clearly have your mind made up, so don't waste our time.

re: "It's the good advice, that you just didn't take, & who would've of thought, it figured ..." By DancinEagle22

On Sat Dec 03, 2005 10:49 AM

It's great to give and get advice and all, but how about making sure you don't bash the person you're giving advice to and making that person feel like an idiot.
There's a difference between being honest and just being mean.
Jen

re: "It's the good advice, that you just didn't take, & who would've of thought, it figured ..." By Shnaynay

On Sat Dec 03, 2005 12:49 PM

^^ That's true. I'm not saying that it's alright for people to attack those who are asking for advice. I'm saying, don't ask for advice if you don't want it. If someone gives you some good, solid, helpful advice, and you don't want to hear it, don't post your question here to begin with - or, if your post is outdated, and you don't want anymore replies, LOCK IT.

re: "It's the good advice, that you just didn't take, & who would've of thought, it figured ..." By Incarnadine

On Tue Dec 13, 2005 02:04 PM

Edited by crisy (15186) on 2005-12-13 14:06:33

Heck. Yes.

You know what else I hate? Is when people tell their story and ask for advice- then ARGUE with you when you give your opinion.

Girl: I have this boyfriend who cheats on me and treats me badly. ButI love him, what do I do?"

Us: Dump him, he's a jerk. You shouldn't be with a guy who treats you like crap and cheats on you.

Girl: You don't know him- he's really cute and I love him. He's not always mean to me. And once he bought me flowers and besides- Prom is next month.

Us: Does it matter that he's not ALWAYs a jerk?! A jerk is a jerk period. Dump him. Just because he gave you flowers doesn't mean he's worth being a boyfriend. And you can find another prom date- one that treats you well. You don't deserve to be treated like that.

Girl: Whatever! I don't know why I asked. Forget it- you don't understand and you're judging him and you don't even know him. *Locks post.*

re: "It's the good advice, that you just didn't take, & who would've of thought, it figured ..." By PrettyHillyBilly

On Sat Jan 21, 2006 08:24 PM

thanks for saying this! a lot of times, i feel like people are just posting their situations (in other forums, not just the ones on DDN) to have other people say "yes, you're right", not for actual sympathy...so, of course, when people offer advice counter to their beliefs, they freak. they need to grow up a little - thanks for standing up and saying so!

re: "It's the good advice, that you just didn't take, & who would've of thought, it figured ..." By i_lurve_you

On Mon Feb 13, 2006 05:37 AM

im new on here but i totally agree, although i think maybe thats abit harsh. we all have times wen we dnt see sense and we need close mates or sum1 else 2 point us in the right direction. im sure the people concerned will read your post and be pointed in the right direction! great post tho x x x