Samantha and Honey Bear, sittin’ in a tree!
Kay-Eye-Ess-Ess-Eye-Enn-GEE!
First comes love, then comes marriage,
Then comes a baby in a baby carriagethe blood-curdling screams of AGONY at the razor-sharp claws of a godless KILLING MACHINE!!!1! AUUUGGGHHH!!!

Attention all pigs! There is an elevated risk of a deadly strain of “girl flu.” If not treated early, girl flu can lead to death, or in extreme cases, cooties. Pigs are urged to avoid prolonged contact with girls, and also avoid activities which may weaken the immune system, such as shopping or watching romantic comedies.

Sender-inner Carolyne says: “Yesterday afternoon we found our cat Koko had managed to lift the gate and climb in to Rosie, our bunny’s pen. Rosie didn’t seem too thrilled but let Koko cuddle up to her anyway. Maybe it’s time for another cat…”

Sender-Inner Kimberly writes; “My cat, Gus, sets out to prove his theory that humans also have an axis of snorgling. Unfortunately for me he enjoys proving his point when I’m attempting to sleep and I’m at my most vulnerable.”

According to the Los Angeles Times and elsewhere, two red panda cubs were abandoned by their mother, so zookeepers at China’s Taiyuan Zoo found a replacement: A dog owned by a nearby farmer. Thanks to the milk of this generous pup, two endangered cubs are growing up.