Friday, May 9, 2014

Two weeks before Alex died he sent one of our neighbors, musician Rich Dittus, a facebook message letting him know how much he enjoyed his song Welcome Home. It happens to be a song about confession. About reconciling with God. About the boundless Mercy of God. Rich was kind enough to send me the note back in 2010, but I just stumbled upon it today and decided to share it:

Very good album. I'm not really into christian music, but this was too good not to buy. Welcome Home lryics are well done. July 15, 2010 at 9:20pm

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Starting on March 31 of every year we go through six birthdays in one 31 days. JP is first, then Sister Mary Consolata on April 19, Joey on April 25, Mary on April 28, then Alex on April 29, and finally Robby on April 30. I think all those birthdays - all that celebration and gratefulness for the gift of these brothers and sisters (sons and daughters) helps to make Alex's birthday sweet instead of sad.

If things had worked out as "planned", Alex would be graduating from Ave Maria University in May. (He would be 23 - I got it wrong in the video.)

We sure do miss this cute little guy - God was so kind to give him to us.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

A few days ago, I woke up in the middle of the night and this first stanza was in my head complete, accompanied by a rare intense feeling of dear Alex’s presence – it hurt but it felt so good. It seemed like a glimpse under the veil. I stopped and tapped it into my phone
because it was so overwhelming to me and I did not want to lose the words:

Go
and speak no more

Yet
I will surely listen

All
the day long

And
all through the night

Those
words are not any I had ever spoken or thought prior to the dream. So I had to try to figure out their meaning. I understand them as words I address to Alex, and they describe what I expect most parents experience
when they lose a child. Often awake at night. Always on our mind, hoping in vain to have just one more chance
to talk, but realizing the communication must be very different now.

Right away I decided to write some additional stanzas, feeling so
strongly inspired. I wiped my eyes and blew my nose, emailed it all to myself, told my wife, and went back
to bed. I actually forgot about it until today I found it in my inbox and decided to share it here:

Yearning
as I do

Pining
for a glimpse

I
know that it’s true

Far
too many hints

So I carry on

Through
this shadowed truth

Cloudy
but so clear

Yes
You are, forsooth

Oh
please lift the veil

Lift
it all away

I
know that you will

This
is why I pray

Those
three stanzas are addressed to God, affirming to Him (and I suppose more so to myself) that even though I don't understand it all, I have hope, I
trust in His way, I have faith in His promises, and I long for what He offers. May it always be so for me and for you.

About Alex:Alex moved to Ave Maria with his family in 2007. He lived a wonderful life. On August 1, 2010, Alex drowned when a car he was driving landed in a retention pond within a mile of where he worked as a lifeguard in Ave Maria. He was to start classes later that same month as a freshman at Ave Maria University.