The Headless Bird

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Being an avid gym goer and an equally avid veggiesaur (Hi, by the way), I am met with alot of skepticism as to how one is supposed to build any form of muscle when there lacks a main, meaty component from ones diet; it is for this reason, that I thought it appropriate to kick off 2012, with a year-long, completely vegetarian, gym blog.

As of the 1st of February, I will start a core building, fat ending, body toning and building regimen, on nothing but a vegetarian dietary program, custom made by yours truly, so you know nothing can go wrong, ever... ever...

Now aside from slowly monitoring my OWN transformation, I had more of a community based concept for this one, the reason I am starting this a couple of weeks from now is because I want EVERYONE that has the stones to work hard for a year, saurs and saurettes alike can start the program with me, sending photos, ideas, healthy vegetarian recipes, and a plethora of other socially driven online activity, so one does not have to go at it alone, your online community will be your spotters, snapping at you for cheating, and cheering you on for all those pounds you're bound to shed.

Please note this program shall proceed and not cease until the end of 2012, you can jump on the train any time, but maximum efficacy can only be achieved via dedication and a strong drive from the start.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Chronic complaints concerning the good Bird is that the posts are far too long, too far apart chronologically, and oftentimes, offensive; I share these concerns, I take note of these concerns, and will now address them.

It's not that my posts are too long, too far apart in chronological interval and oftentimes, offensive, it's just that go f#$% yourself.

Vote me.

With these concerns addressed to satisfaction, one can begin.

The air hormonally ripe with caws and coos of potential, current, and veteran matriarchs, the halls achatter with anxious female interns and residents, helmed by the task mastery of the attending physicians, then there’s me.

Being one of the very few male students at a governmentally funded maternity hospital can be a… trying experience if described in so few words; religious and cultural restrictions hang heavy here, the entirety of the female staff, students, even the patients don the traditional burqa, making distinction a near impossible task if you are not personally addressed, a male student cannot go about his mandatory practices of history taking without being accompanied by the if-not-busy-then-incompliant nurse body, and the majority of the patient war front are less than friendly towards males, if not for cultural reasons, then for falsely driven begrudged ideals that sing,

“Any man is a swine, mainly mine,

So my family and friends do chime,

They’ll abuse, mistreat, and remarry,

Fated to lay here his spawn, I must carry,

Destined for discomfort, my heart I shall freeze,

Towards any that bear, the blight of testes!”

Or something like that.

Jarred back to reality, the world not getting any slower and the day not going by any faster, trusty serpentine stethoscope around my neck, and notebook in hand, I breathe out one last sigh as my day begins.