It takes a lot to render me speechless (my school reports always started with ''Margaret is a chatterbox …''), but this picture does it. What is there to say? Utter chic combined with GSOH - it doesn't get any better.

There is nothing in this picture I don't a) adore and b) very much want to own.

The shoes, obviously. They are pointy; they don't have platforms. That's all my current shoe boxes ticked right there; and then there is the little detail on the toe, which is a cute and perfectly underplayed reference to the magnificence that is on her head.

Ah, L'Wren Scott's Mickey Mouse-ear tribute cocktail hats. They made me so very happy the first time I laid eyes on them. And also made me feel so much better that I have longed to wear my daughter's silver-sequinned actual Mickey Mouse ears since I bought them for her at Disneyland five years ago.

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I really bought them for me, of course. She's never worn them - ''too girly'' - but while I've often tried the ears on, I've never quite had the guts to leave the house in them. Now, L'Wren - and Sarah Jessica Parker here - have given me permission.

I've just slipped them on, to get myself in the mood. It's like wearing the effect of a dry martini. The world suddenly seems brighter, full of promise and possibility.

I wish a random man would walk past so I could see if he looked unusually handsome. And if anyone would care to slip Moves Like Jagger onto a turntable, I'm confident I'd soon be throwing some pretty nifty shapes. I'd be able to dance the light fantastic in my highest heels.

I feel so happy in my Mickey Mouse ears, I must find an opportunity to wear them in public in the very near future - and whaddyaknow?

I have a very jolly party to go to on Monday night.

Hurrah! Just time to whisk off to my local haberdasher for a little wisp of tulle to sew onto the front, because that is the detail that renders L'Wren's ears so smart. It softens the silhouette, because I've just looked at myself in the mirror again and I do look a bit like a mad Martian, with satellite dishes growing out of my head.

Once I have the veiling in place, I'll have to get smart with my eye make-up, as that is crucial to SJP looking so great here. Her eyes have been really done up to shine out alluringly from behind the veil, so your observing eye goes: 1. Ears 2. Eyes 3. Shoes. Or maybe that should be, 3. Teeth, then shoes.

The point is everything in between those highlights - neck to knee - just fades away, which might be just a random styling detail for Sarah Jessica, but awfully useful for me. I'd rather like it all to disappear for real.

From what I can see of her make-up, peering at the screen - oh, for the days of a light box and a loupe - it's not so much a smoky eye as a shiny eye, and I think there's quite a bit of metallic blue going on there.

Blue eyeshadow is another secret fetish I own but don't have the courage to wear in public, but in a veil - and with a pair of insane ears on my head - I think I'd get my brave on. I'm looking forward to Monday night's party more with every moment.

And that's the whole point of it, isn't it?

Even if you find the whole waiting for midnight thing pretty forced and tortured, you can have a hell of a good time dressing up for it.