EVENTS

Oh, cruel readers

I get up this morning to discover the first thing in my inbox is a link to Joe Rogan. You would think I’d know better by now, but I…clicked…on it, and now…

I can’t get it out of my head. Joe Rogan’s penis — it’s just there, everywhere he goes, separated from our eyes and our hands by nothing but a few thin layers of fabric, and a zipper. A zipper! Easy access, just a little gentle tug, and it comes down — it’s as if he’s begging everyone to expose his penis. He may try to tell you with his mouth that he doesn’t want to be cock-punched, but his pants say otherwise. If he really didn’t, he wouldn’t be walking around in that thin t-shirt, those jeans that don’t obscure the delicate bulge of his genitalia, his legs that scissor back and forth as he walks, highlighting his crotch.

How weird is it that he wears those pants that fit snugly and have an instant access door to his most private parts? Maybe if he wore a kilt it would drape and obscure his area, rather than emphasizing it.

Yes, he’s sexist, transphobic and not very bright. He thinks he’s communicating with interdimensional critters when he trips and his fans like to send rape threats to people who criticize him. He’s awful and so are his fans.

The take-home message is that he can’t stop thinking about your vagina (whether or not you have one) if you’re a dress-wearer.

Even though the thing he can actually see is the possibly top of your leg (or your knee, or ankle, or the heel of your shoe – basically any point between the floor and your thigh, depending on hemline). For him, that is tantamount to looking straight at your vagina.

Even though the actual amount of exposed vagina is probably exactly the same as if you were wearing trousers, or a spacesuit, or if you were standing in a wardrobe.

Joe Rogan? The same guy that SyFy gave a show called “Joe Rogan Questions Everything” ? Not expecting much facts from SyFy, I watched the episode about “chemtrails”; and while he didn’t positively *debunk* the “conspiracy theories”, he left some serious questions for the paranoids about what “chemtrails” really are. So… , anyway… , where was I going? Just wondering about Rogan, is he “playing both sides”? Why is he an issue at all?

My first thought was “are these guys advocating burkas?” Then, they kinda-sorta did. I almost agree with them that dresses and skirts are weird. I think I’d go the other way with it, though. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been walking around (not far from Hollywood) and wished I could trade pants or even shorts for a micro-mini. I’m sure it would be less sweaty than jeans when it’s 80 degrees in December. I bet my ass would look great in it, too.

…I wonder how hard it would be to convince Joe of the superiority of a nice skirt.

I wish people would stop using the word “vagina” for female genitals. The vagina is only one part. In its entirety it’s called a vulva. Calling a vulva a vagina is like calling a penis a meatus.

nah, that’s incorrect. The vagina is entirely an internal structure; it’s an tubular organ made of muscle and epithelium. ‘Vulva’ on the other hand refers only to the external genitalia. Therefore ‘vulva’ and ‘vagina’ are mutually exclusive, strictly speaking. The penile meatus is not a structure at all, it refers to the hole or opening. The analogous term would therefore be ‘vaginal opening’, ‘vaginal orifice’, or for Latin-o-philes, ostium vaginae.

I was gonna have a snarky comment, then I listened to their comments on weight.
First: WTF are you not counting metric?
Second: google the weights:
80 pounds = 36.2873896 kilograms
115 pounds = 52.1631226 kilograms
WTF?
I LIKE small female bodies – it’s one of my things. But my ideally-sized ex-wife was 60 kgs: does this apply to men as well? Would I be ideal at 35kgs? Is anorexia some kind of cultural fetish?

Sorry if I’m spouting in this comment – but I really don’t understand the “standard” cultural norms surrounding weight – especially from USAians. Is the ideal female partner supposed to be someone suffering from food anxiety and metabolic deprivation (although I support those people and know that they need help and understanding from society)? It sounds like another iteration of the American Dream™, where just because a majority is over a certain BMI, those who due to chance, genetics or privilege happen to be under a certain bar are… objectified and fetishised?

Also: I advocate for it being legal to walk about in underpants everywhere in the world. And one day there will be super-material-elastic pants which will be so cool that slight bulges and shapes will go entirely unnoticed.