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Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Shreds

I've
been wrestling with writing, missing the May deadline for a Lyme
Awareness post. Yesterday our Border Collie cracked the writer's block.

A family of rabbits lives in our backyard, darting and hopping; very playful. Giving the illusion that Richard Adam's Watership Down's
warren has sprung straight from the pages into our yard. Our Border
Collie has a different take. To Marley, it is more like Cynthia Rylant's
Mr. Putter & Tabby Feed the Fish.where
Tabby, is driven crazy by goldfish. Yesterday, Marley flew into a
frustrated frenzy, shredding every piece of bedding down to and
including my side of the mattress. Fortunately, no quilts were damaged,
but UGH! Suffice it to say, between medical expenses, student loan
payments and life in general, new bedding and a mattress are not in the
budget. So what to do beyond providing love and reassurance to one very
remorseful BC who just happens to be draped over me as I write?

Well,
there are two traits that come in handy if you're going to survive
Lyme. You must be adaptable and a great problem solver. At bedtime, my
husband carefully laid out the sheets, making sure the tears didn't
overlap and fell quickly asleep. Sewing machine repairs could wait, but
what to do with the rather large hole in the mattress on my side of the
bed?

Wool roving? I replaced a piece of mattress,
stuffed roving around it, then used a pad from a brace to hold it all in
place. Good enough. Just as I drifted off to sleep, it hit me that the
shreds of fabric were a simile for our lives.

Life as
we once knew it in shreds or we're holding on by a shred? A bit of each I
think. Dear ones facing cancer and congestive heart failure. Shared
grief from recent losses. On the Lyme front, our nine year old is
adjusting to life with a shunt and the remaining syrinxes
in her spinal cord. Painting, singing and writing bring much joy. She
has loved rejoining her classmates at school. Our 14 year old recently
developed complex regional pain syndrome
after a knee injury. So painful and debilitating! Music remains her
solace and inspiration. As one world opens up a bit, the other shrinks.
The ebb and flow of chronic illness.

A friend recently asked if I was keeping my head above water? I laughed, "Nose and lips."

Daily antibiotic infusions keep me afloat. Infusions to knock down mastoiditis,
a stubborn bone infection left over from my Lupus days. I tire easily. A
sense of humor, though sorely tested, hangs tough, but please pardon me
if I laugh too loudly. The sense of humor is a bit strained and the
left ear still messed up, but as our youngest says, "Welcome to my
world."

Who can argue with that?

Yes,
blankets are torn and our lives in disrepair, but shining moments keep
us moving forward and our spirits alive. So here is my May service
announcement in June. As the tick populations grow and spread and
scientists warn of a perfect Lyme storm brewing, please learn what you can about Lyme disease.
Not all ticks are infected with Lyme, but one that is can change your life forever. When I think of the havoc a tiny deer tick caused in our family's
lives, it's humbling. Remember, a bull's eye rash is a definitive sign
for Lyme, but it shows up in a small percentage of cases. Unfortunately, the tests for
Lyme are often unreliable. Lyme disease should be a clinical
diagnosis. A bull's eye rash or a summer "flu" are warning flags. Adequate treatment at the
onset of infection can spare years of suffering later. Closing with best
wishes from our family to yours!

3 comments:

I thought I'd let you know that you can get help with your student loans. I was able to put mine on deferment due to illness for a very long time. Finally with several notes form doctors I was able to demonstrate that i was unable to go work and was disabled by my illness and all of my student loans have been forgiven. They are in a probationary period right now to make sure I don't suddenly return to work or health, but at least I don't have to worry about the stress of paying those. Call and ask for help over and over again until you get what you need. I was also able to get some of my credit cards to make arrangements for me. It was worth the time and effort it took. Good Luck!

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