Daily Moir columnist Jan Moir today publicly apologised to Stephen Gately's family and friends for the timing of her column about the death of Boyzone singer, which prompted a record 25,000 complaints to the press watchdog, but also defended it, saying she did not hold "poisonous" homophobic views.

In her regular Daily Mail column she said she had been a victim of an "orchestrated campaign" but had also received thousands of supportive emails – "many of whom described themselves as the 'silent majority'".

She said she was horrified to be widely condemned as "homophobic" and "hateful": "Obviously, a great deal of offence has been taken and I regret any affront caused. This was never my intention."

Moir said she realised that Gately's partner, parents, family and friends were in mourning and apologised to them. "To them, I would like to say sorry if I have caused distress by the insensitive timing of the column, published so close to the funeral."

Today Moir said readers were wrong to suggest that her motive was to insinuate that Gately died "because he was gay".

"Anyone who knows me will vouch that I have never held such poisonous views. If he had been a heterosexual member of a boy band, I would have written exactly the same article."

Moir said she honestly believed that Gately's death raised many unanswered questions that were a matter of public interest and defended her use of the word "sleazy" to describe the circumstances of his death, which occurred in Majorca after Gately and his civil partner Andrew Cowles went to a nightclub and brought back a Bulgarian man to their apartment.

"I have never thought, or suggested, that what happened that night represented a so-called gay lifestyle; this is not how most gay people live.

"Rather, I thought it a louche lifestyle; one that raised questions about health and personal safety.

"There have been complaints about my use of the word 'sleazy' to describe this incident, but I still maintain that to die on a sofa while your partner is sleeping with someone else in the next room is, indeed, sleazy, no matter who you are or what your sexual orientation might be."

Moir said her assertion that there was "nothing natural" about Gately's death has been "wildly misinterpreted".

"What I meant by 'nothing natural' was that the natural duration of his life had been tragically shortened in a way that was shocking and out of the ordinary. Certainly, his death was unusual enough for a coroner to become involved."

Moir, who says she is a supporter of same-sex marriages, said her comment about a "happy ever after myth" was that civil partnerships "can be just as problematic as heterosexual marriages".

She said that some of the reaction on the internet, including the repeated posting of her home address on the web, was a "hysterical overreaction" and an "orchestrated campaign".

"However, I accept that many people – on Twitter and elsewhere – were merely expressing their own personal and heartfelt opinions or grievances. This said, I can't help wondering: is there a compulsion today to see bigotry and social intolerance where none exists by people who are determined to be outraged? Or was it a failure of communication on my part?"

The columnist said she had received many supportive emails from readers and well wishers.

"Can it really be that we are becoming a society where no one can dare to question the circumstances or behaviour of a person who happens to be gay without being labelled a homophobe? If so, that is deeply troubling.

"Finally, I would just like to say that whatever did or did not happen in Majorca, a talented young man died before his time. This, of course, is a matter of regret and sadness for us all."

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