Category: Personal Growth

Personal growth is that exciting and never ending path of fulfilling and meaningful life – learning our individual ingenuity and quirks, strengths and challenges, accepting it all as a gift, and making the most out of it.

When it comes to having children, most parents now have a no-nonsense way of bringing up. Simply said, if their baby is alive and healthy by the end of the day, parents know that they’ve done the best job.

However, this situation changes completely when that baby starts growing up.

Suddenly, your kid who always depended on you to lead them starts walking ten steps ahead of you.

Through their attitude, they show you the mistakes in your ways, and horror of horrors, you realize that they’re right!

And thus begins a system where you feel dumbfounded around your child. But because you want them to stay connected to you, you often end up taking the wrong steps, i.e. become too friendly with them!

What’s wrong with being Friendly with Your Kids?

Now, obviously having your children fear you isn’t the best way to have a healthy relationship with them. However, this also doesn’t mean that you should attach yourselves to them so much that they become your emotional outlet.

Because we are humans, most parents often convey their own anxiety, depression, anger, low self esteem and chronic emotional problems on them. And that’s what worsens the situation.

As much as we love our children, we must understand that they are their own person. But since we are their parents, they will do their best to emulate our ways, and that is how the problem will begin.

What Happens When You Make Your Child Your Friend?

When we become so close to our children that we start sharing our worries and concerns with them, we automatically become their equals. And while that may seem like a good idea to some, the truth is that your children will not treat you with respect because they will not see you as a stable adult.

When we speak of stable, we mean emotional stability. You see, our children rely on us from an early age to be the rock in their life. But if we show so many invulnerabilities, they will realize that they cannot rely on your strength. Since you won’t be able to handle your own life stress and problems, they will not be able to come to you for their own issues.

Though you may be real with them while talking of an issue, you must keep in mind that you shouldn’t burden your children with their emotions when they haven’t even learned how to handle their emotional mindset yet.

So what Should You Do?

While learning to respect you, your children need to learn that they can share their secrets with you. But in this case, you as a parent must learn that you cannot lean on them for overwhelming emotional support.

When you have children, you automatically take on the responsibility of being their safe person, but they don’t take any responsibility of your emotional burden. What’s more, you must understand them from the beginning how they may react to your attachment.

With our help, we are sure you will be able to understand the details of your own personality as well as that of your children. This way, you will be able to take the right steps to have a healthy parent-child relationship. So click here to use our personality profile option and be the ideal parent your child wants you to be!

First of all, don’t worry if you’re panicking about a sad relationship. Just like you, there are countless couples who feel like they’re part of a mundane relationship and would very much like to get rid of their once beloved partners.

But how do you do so without causing much offense? At Celebrities Galore, we may have an answer to that!

Identifying a Failing Relationship

First, Step Out of Your Denial…

Breaking off a relationship is obviously not a fun experience, but you can’t simply stay in connection with someone because you don’t want to face the truth. Don’t give in to the denial that perhaps this is just a phase. If you don’t feel anything for your partner now and are more prone to feeling drained after even a conversation with them, then you need to come to terms with the impending breakup.

Identify the Causes

In any relationship, there are some factors that can make you think that you’re in a commitment because of the perks. Perhaps your partner makes you feel attractive or helps you out in your life. Determining what you’re getting from the relationship may help you move on because then, you’ll be able to know the root cause of your need to stay in a dead-end relationship.

Find Alternatives

Once you’ve identified the perks that you enjoyed in your relationship, you can take the next step for finding alternatives. Find happiness in your surroundings and your own company. Surround yourself with positive friends and make a list of all the ways you can improve your life. NEVER think that your relationship is the only way through which you’ll feel complete. Believe in self-reliance!

Learn to Let Go

Perhaps the most important part of ending a failed relationship is taking the necessary step of letting go of them. You may feel a bit intimidated to be taking such a huge step, but you must remember that this is not only for your own good, but theirs as well.

However, if your partner is stumped by your action, ask them to judge your past days. Did they feel like they were cherished? Didn’t they feel like they were in a rut? Doing so will give them a chance to take an analytical approach to the dilemma.

Moving On

The breakup will not be easy on either of you. But you must take the right step for your own sake. Keep in mind that you’re doing this to bring happiness back into your life. Go to your safe space and allow yourself to be pampered by those who have been a positive influence in your life.

You deserve it!

Understanding Future Relationships

Celebrities Galore uses a number of methods to determine the life and lies of each person who uses our program. Along with profiles of various celebrities, our website provides visitors the chance to get their own personality profile. But more than that, we provide visitors with a relationship compatibility calculator through which you can determine the outcome of your partnership.

So the next time you’re in a relationship, keep our services in mind and remember; only be with the person that makes you want to be your better self, rather than be someone who simply settles!

And third, follow the tips below to prepare yourself for trying something new.

5 Steps for Trying Something New

Make it real

In other words, get it out of your head, and commit to it. We all have goals that we want to achieve, such as learning how to tap dance, cooking, photography and many other skills. But there are also some other goals that we are scared to think about, such as forgiving someone, replacing something or even talking to people.

But unless we actually take the first step in the right direction, we will not succeed. And as for the negative thoughts in your head, ignore them and take the next step. You’ll find that all those negative thoughts were for nothing.

Stick to it

Maintain your attitude towards your goal and don’t say no. When you start something, you may be tempted to forget about it and give up because it requires extra effort from you. However, if you continue to do so, you will only end up ruining your own chances of being better at it. For example, if your goal is to smoke less or hike more, and you quit in the beginning, you will feel angry at yourself later for not having enough willpower.

Bring People in

Feeling a bit bored during your morning workout? Force a friend to help you. Many a times, if we have someone alongside us, the process time becomes shorter. And we also get the benefit of being connected to them more. Even Taylor Swift brings her friends along with her anytime she feels insecure about a task. And while her profile on Celebrities Galore does say that she is an introvert, she still manages to surround herself with a support group.

Don’t go at it alone, and if you feel like you may not be able to bring a friend, make friends with those around you. You may end up striking a conversation with someone who could go on to become your close friend.

Find Support

Along with finding friends to help you stay committed to your new goal, find someone professional to give you proper advice. Get into your work and bring your energy along with you. Listen to what the other person has to say and give yourself a mental boost by encouraging your own self. Trying new things, no matter how strong you are, can make you nervous but with a professional by your side, you can lean on them to guide you through.

Take Care of Yourself

Stress from our daily life can affect us in some very negative ways. So if you want to feel better, take loads of rest and nourish yourself with proper healthy food. Keep your mind away from negativity and maintain your connection with the more emotionally and intellectually positive things in your life. Stay close to your loved one and show them how much you cherish them.

When we try anything new, our mind and body is challenged in a big way, so any extra stress will make you go overboard. Pay attention to the other components of your life and try to balance every aspect with your new occupation.

So now that you know how the new things in your life should be handled, approach them with excitement and passion, and see for yourself the benefits they will bring to your life.

There isn’t a single person on earth who hasn’t once said, “Why in the world did I grow up?”

Growing up is overrated. And while it does bring with it some interesting temptations, no one can deny that the innocence of our childhood and the happiness of our youth is something that beckons us.

So how can we go back to the wonderful world of yonder? In this case, your best way to enjoy the joys of your youth is by connecting with your inner child.

Re-Connecting to Your Inner Child

This can sometimes happen because you grow up, and the harsh realities of life and the never-ending competition of our career can push your inner child to take a back seat. And while you may think that it would be silly to connect with your inner six year old again, there are several reasons why it could be a good idea.

You invite creativity into your life. There is a reason why adult coloring books have suddenly become so popular. People all over the world want to feel their creative juices flowing in the same way as they did when they were younger.

You become judgement-free. As we grow old, we start seeing the world through a cynical eye. Many of us begin to grow weary of our own negativity. But by connecting with our childish self, we can have a more optimistic view of the world, and see its good qualities for once.

You become more playful and fun. Although you don’t end up dancing the night away in the club, you do give yourself a chance to be more courageous about the fun aspects of your life.

You feel openness with the world. You trust relationships and people to bring back your hopes and dreams, and give you enough courage to forgive those who have wronged you. In turn, you give yourself the chance to improve your stress levels and enhance your health.

How to Reconnect

Take Advice from Your Inner Child

Whenever you face a situation where you’re stressed, uneasy or uncertain about the circumstances, take a deep breath and ask your inner child to guide you. Think about what they would want to do in this situation (it may involve you getting away from the problem at hand for some me-time). Doing so will make you feel less stressed and will give you time to work out what you should.

Take Care of Yourself

There’s nothing your inner child would like more than to be pampered. So make them happy and sleep in on the weekends, eat something you love once a week, be creative even if it means scribbling on a paper. Let your inner child shine.

Encourage Yourself, Don’t Apologize

If someone comments about you being childish, ignore them.

But if others try to make you feel ashamed about your inner child, don’t let their efforts dim your inner light. Remember this endearingly cliché; you don’t need this negativity in your life. And if they persist, tell them they need some sweetness in their lives.

If you want an idol to follow, think about the many famous personalities who balanced their own self with their inner child.

Jim Carrey, Emily Blunt, Tom Hiddleston, Meryl Streep; heck, even Albert Einstein; all of their profiles here on Celebrities Galore show that they have a wonderful connection with their inner child. So follow their example, and bring your inner happiness out with the help of your spiritual companion.

This is a subject that can help many who are starting on the path to self-discovery.

Finding your life goals isn’t for the faint-hearted. Many of us try to run away from such responsibilities and instead, try to focus more on having fun and simply living life the way we want. But even for such a tale, the roadblock of growing up and being an adult pushes us into a task that can intimidate many.

After all, it’s very difficult to decide what we should do for the rest of our lives. However, the truth of the matter is that you don’t always have to make a big leap. Instead, you can choose smaller tasks that can work to build up to your bigger goal.

How to Set an Achievable Goal

1. Motivate Yourself

Your goal must be able to motivate you to take action. Find something that resonates with your personality, something that will encourage you to learn more about it. Motivation is the key to achieving your set goals.

However, don’t set a goal that will force you into completing it. For many, their goals are usually something that will satisfy other people’s demands of them. Since you do not have any set commitments to it, you feel angry and disappointed that you’re pushing yourself into something you don’t like.

2. Set Attainable Goals

You may just have what it takes to become the next Broadway star, but you must draw the line if you start thinking about becoming a superhero. Marking unachievable goals will only make you demoralize yourself when you are unable to achieve them.

Also, it is crucial that when you do decide on a goal, you keep your limits in mind. It’s no problem if you want to break the glass ceiling or become a member of the board. But it’s another story if your goals push you beyond the boundaries of moral or ethical law.

3. Make an Action Plan

Sometimes we’re so committed to the outcome that we forget to make the effort to get the result. But by determining our goal, we can confirm individual steps to make a way for your life.

So for instance, if you feel you’re good at writing, start taking writing courses, read books, watch documentaries and movies that complement your style and taste. Do all that helps you be one step closer to what you want in life.

Famous Success Stories

Among the many notable personalities that the world knows about, some of the most popular wouldn’t have even made it to the top, had it not been for their own determination.

Fred Astaire was told that he couldn’t sing, act or even dance, and that his slightly bald head meant that he was terrible for the big screen. But instead of letting someone else’s words discourage him, Astaire kept that note and used it as a catalyst to prove to all that he wasn’t going to back down.

Even after becoming a world renowned talented singer, actor and dancer, Astaire kept that note in his home to remind him of where he was and where he came from.

And you can even find out more about their inner struggles by exploring their profiles here.

So if there is one thing you can learn from them, it is this. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do enough. And make sure that your goals make you happy, because it is only then that you will work hard to achieve your dream.

Create your profile on Celebrities Galore and explore the connection between famous celebrities and you.

Okay, so you’re already late for a meeting, you’ve got to pick up your dry cleaning, get some groceries for your home, and oh, your dentist just called to remind you of your appointment.

With so much going on, don’t you just wish that there were more than just the measly 24 hours in a day?

Our lives have become so fast and aggressive that we hardly ever take the time to relax and smell the roses. Sure, we may take those vacations and weekend trips, but even then, we’re always working around a schedule of fun, trying to fit in every activity so that we can enjoy our holiday to the fullest.

But what if we were to simply sit down and take a breather? Force ourselves to clear our mind and instead concentrate on only being in a state of complete blankness and relaxation? It doesn’t hurt to stop, even for a minute or two.

In fact, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the conditions in 2016 are even worse than what they were in 1990s. Back then, more than 25 million American workers stated that they were working 49 hours a week, 11 million of which worked more than 59 hours a week.

This was 1995. With technology reaching an all-time high, companies and entrepreneurial organizations working overtime to make a name for themselves, and competition reaching beyond limits; you can only imagine what would happen if we didn’t slow down.

Practical Examples

Let’s take the instance of your favorite celebrities. They work hard for a living.

Celebrities such as Selena Gomez, Maria Sharapova and Daniel Radcliffe; all are known for never giving up on their work. And while they may not be completely exhausted, they do sometimes disappear from the media scene when they realize that they’re getting overworked.

And that is the same example we must follow as well.

What Happens When You Don’t Slow Down

Apart from the obvious effects on your personal life, overworking yourself can push you into a world of mental pain.

Stressed: The World Health Organization states that most Americans are more likely to suffer from stress and anxiety during our work life than any other time.

Brain Capacity: Because of the stress we go through, our prefrontal cortex gets affected in such a way that it throws off the balance and brain volume in different subject matters such as thinking, planning, learning, remembering and decision-making.

Less Engaged: According to a poll conducted by Gallup, only 30% of the employees working report that they feel engaged in their jobs. And this is because they felt rushed during their workdays; they actually distance themselves from the fun of it.

It doesn’t do well to keep flying through our life at a hundred miles per hour. Stop whatever it is you’re doing. Put your phone on silence. Bring your hair down. Wear your coziest clothes. Snuggle up with your favorite companion, and let your mind return to the calm that you so desperately need.

How does a dad start the conversation?

— I’ve asked hundreds of men if their fathers ever talked to them about sex and relationships, beyond the usual exhortation to wear a condom. Thus far only one has said yes.

A friend recounted how as a boy back in New Zealand his school hosted a father and son evening on this very topic. On the day, however, dad made an excuse and backed out, sending older brother along instead. When the two boys arrived at the school, there were almost no men to be seen. Most of the lads were with an older brother, cousin, or on their own.

The boys squirm and smirk at the beginning, uncomfortable at the prospect of men talking about sex.

Judging by the boys I meet, things have not changed much. With no teaching from our own fathers, I meet very few men who have had meaningful conversations with their sons about sex and relationships. Many find the topic too difficult and don’t go there. Others outsource the job to school. Some say it’s better their boy finds out for himself from his friends or online. These men don’t realize a father’s input is the most important of all, in spite of the groans and push back they might receive bringing up the topic!

How do you start the conversation? I’ve taken groups of fathers and sons out to the bush where we gather around a fire. We create a ‘sacred space’ where anything can be said with no fear of judgement or ridicule. Getting away from the normal routine of life allows for something new to emerge.

The boys squirm and smirk at the beginning, uncomfortable at the prospect of men talking about sex. The fathers must push through their own embarrassment. But soon they share openly how their bodies started changing at puberty. I’m always glad to hear an excruciating story of the first wet dream or masturbation. Everyone laughs and the ice is broken.

The men share about their first crush, what it was like to fall in love, the mistakes they made, and how women should be treated. Some men talk about their struggle with porn. The boys listen raptly because they hear total honesty from a variety of men, not just their own dad.

The boys ask questions which different men answer. Father and son take the discussion deeper later on. Some men have had the first conversation with a son who reveals he is gay. This is so critical. Anything can be discussed because a channel of communication and trust has opened.

How does it affect the maturation process of our boys when we avoid these conversations?

What do the boys really want? Honest stories from men they trust and then your advice. No matter how promiscuous or inexperienced you were, how awful your introduction to sex might have been, or how (in)adequate you feel for the task now. Your authentic experience, for better or worse, will counteract the avalanche of false information he receives everywhere else. Even better, he will feel comfortable coming to you with questions and concerns, without shame or embarrassment, if you keep the channel open.

How does it affect the maturation process of our boys when we avoid these conversations? I hear complaints from many young women of how men brag about real or imagined sexual encounters not just at the pub but on social media. For them, women are conquests, not human beings. No one taught the young men the importance of treating women with respect and dignity.

I heard of a mother recently saying her teenage son won’t introduce her to a girl because the relationship is ‘just for sex.’. The woman condoned her son’s contempt toward the young lady, telling her friends she wished such arrangements were available when she was at university. That father never taught his son sex is a profound, intimate expression of love between two people.

And what about porn? What do our boys expect of real women after watching two-dimensional images online? I know young women often feel compelled to comply with something they don’t want to do. Some are traumatised by men’s weird, degrading demands as discussed in the TED Talk The Great Porn Experiment by Gary Wilson.

Do you think your son knows how intimidating he can be to girls? Is he aware of his power? A friend’s daughter challenged the behavior of a group of boys at a social event and became the target of many abusive, threatening messages on social media. Their fathers did not teach them about restraint or honor.

A father’s calm and loving voice, sharing wisdom as well as mistakes, provides guidance to a boy on his sexuality and how to treat the opposite sex with dignity, care, and respect.

If your son reveals he is gay, he needs you just as much to both to listen and guide him.

It’s not just for your sake of your sons and their sons, but all the women they will interact with in life.

Sometimes your daughter needs to hear more than “You’re Pretty”. Here are six ways to compliment her.

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As a dad of twins (boy and girl), I always told myself that I would, to the best of my ability, treat my children equally and not succumb to gender stereotypes or conformity. They wear all colors, not just pink and blue, and they both play with all available toys, whether a baby doll or train.

What I wasn’t ready for, however, is how differently society treats them, even in their early age of three. Maybe it’s the gay dad thing, the twin thing, the biracial kid thing, or a combination of all three, but people feel compelled to say something (mostly complimentary) to me and my family (without fail).

Don’t get me wrong… Compliments are awesome — when someone else notices something positive about you and points it out, it instantly makes you feel good.

Yet, I’ve observed that gender greatly affects the kinds of compliments my children receive. My daughter gets “hey pretty girl” or the “oh, you are so pretty” every time we are out and about, while my son gets the “charming” or “cool guy” comments.

And it seems that in general, it is most often women who compliment my daughter’s appearance. Maybe it’s because they were complimented on their looks as kids and so they pass it on to younger girls. What I do know, is that our household doesn’t discuss who is pretty or ugly or looks at all. It is something we just don’t value.

But when it becomes increasingly apparent that the majority of compliments aimed at girls concern their looks, that’s when it becomes problematic.

So the next time you see my daughter (or other young girls) and want to say something, compliment her on one (or all!) of these other traits that deserve much more recognition:

Her Helpfulness

When we are at the grocery store, she is usually holding something light like bread that we are intending to purchase. She not only enjoys helping others, she often nominates herself to do so.

Her Leadership

When you see her pulling my arm because she wants to show me something in a store or when she politely tells her brother to wash his hands, she is practicing her great leadership skills… she’s not bossy (Thanks, Sheryl Sandberg).

Her Generosity

When we are at a restaurant, she usually gives her twin brother her bread, because she knows how much her brother loves bread (and that he is a very picky eater).

Her Friendliness

When we are ANYWHERE, she has no qualms about going up to anyone, smiling and saying, “Hello, how are you?” She loves people and she loves to make new friends.

Her Bravery

When she is at the playground, she goes on the highest slide and swings as high as she can, just like the big kids do (to my chagrin). She has no fear (except for flies) and I love that about her.

Her Intelligence

My daughter is multilingual and a pretty good reader. She speaks German to me, French to her other Papa, and probably English to you. She will randomly read words while we are just about anywhere. She is curious and yearns to acquire new and different knowledge all the time.

These examples are specific to my daughter, but I’m sure the compliments are true of many other little girls, too.There are so many other things that you can compliment girls on besides their looks. Boys get much more meaningful and diverse compliments, and it’s time we start putting the same kind of thought into complimenting girls as well. We as adults, and especially parents, teach our children what to value. Let’s value all aspects of our girls!

After all, if Beyoncé is right (and she ALWAYS is), then it’s the girls who run the world, and they sure won’t get there on their looks alone.

Anwar White is a single Dad of twins, Parenting Coach, and Founder of SmartKidParenting (www.smartkidparenting.com). He teaches busy parents how to maximize the potential of their children. Sign up for his free 13 Tips on Raising Smart Kids (www.smartkidparenting.com). This piece was originally published on Mamalode (www.mamalode.com).

Andrew Lynch is about to give you three ways to unleash greater growth in your life and your business.

_____

I’m about to give you the keys to the kingdom.

There are certain cornerstone actions, routines and habits that, once in place, ripple out and have a positive effect in all areas of your life. Combined, they each reinforce each other, combining to have a huge impact on the quality of your life, and what you can accomplish.

There are certain cornerstone actions, routines and habits that, once in place, ripple out and have a positive effect in all areas of your life. Combined, they each reinforce each other, combining to have a huge impact on the quality of your life, and what you can accomplish.

I call them Force Multipliers.

1. Exercise

Being healthy and strong is great. In fact, being strong is one of the key ways to slow the ageing process. For that alone, you should exercise regularly. But you’ll also think more clearly. You’ll be less likely to suffer from things like depression. You have more energy and can be more productive. And you’ll become “the type of person who exercises“, making you more likely to eat better, save money, waste less time, and have a positive self-image. Plus, you’ll look better, which means you’ll make more money and you’ll get more attention from the opposite sex.

2. Eating healthily

Just like exercise, eating well is great because of the health benefits. Fat loss, muscle gain, more energy, less feeling sluggish for an hour after lunch. And on top of that: you’ll save money because you cook at home more. You waste less time browsing at the grocery store, or choosing off a restaurant menu, because you’re narrowing down the range of choices you have. (Should I get chips or chocolate? NEITHER!)

3. Living well below your means

Spending less than you earn is good for the obvious reason: that it prevents you from getting into debt and hurting your credit, paying money in credit card interest and overdraft fees, and so on. No arguments there. But there’s other advantages of having cash on hand. You can usually get a great deal on bigger purchases if you can offer to pay in cash, right there and then. You can take advantage of business opportunities that need a bit of capital up-front, or do things that have a smaller short-term payoff, but a big long-term payoff. You can afford to take a different job that might pay less, but makes you happier. You spend less time worrying about bills and juggling payments, freeing up mental energy to spend elsewhere. With money in the bank you’re less stressed, and you sleep better, so you become healthier.

With those three things in place, you’re giving yourself a great base to work from. A solid foundation in your life. And the great thing is that each one makes the others easier: they multiply together healthy, energised, strong, productive, and able to take advantage of opportunities when you see them.

You can change the message you tell yourself, and the world.

Here is a test to see if you are worthy. Just check the answer that applies to you.

Do you exist?

______ Yes

______ No

Did you check YES? Then you are worthy. No matter where you fall on the spirituality spectrum, from devotee of a religion to agnostic, you are not an accident and you are good, just the way you are.

Of course all of us, in our flawlessness, are flawed. The Dalai Lama is flawed and glad to admit it. And each one of us is on a journey to find our authentic self and live in alignment with it. Along the way, as we labor up and down that road, we are WORTHY. Worthy of love and joy and fulfillment.

Self-compassion is one of the keys to knowing your worthiness.

Being worthy does not mean we feel love, joy, and fulfillment at every moment, but we sure need to accept them when they come. Too many people miss their chance at those things because they push them away, knowingly or not, believing they do not deserve them.

Those feelings of unworthiness block you from living your life wide open and receiving all the blessings and desires you so richly deserve.

Feeling worthy is an inner game.

There is absolutely nothing you can do to “become” worthy. As I pointed out, you already are worthy. You may not feel it, but you are. Thus, no matter what you do to “earn” worthiness is an exercise in futility. Imagine not realizing you are a human being, so you spend all your life trying to earn the right to be …what you were, all along.

• Influencing the right people to talk to the right people to create a reality that was in your hands all along

• Saying or doing the perfect thing at the perfect moment with the perfect results

• Anything else you might try

For the duration of this blog, let’s agree to agree: you are worthy. And so am I and so is your annoying coworker and your creepy Uncle Max. But why is it that so many — so very, very many — of us do not feel our own worthiness?

Where does my unworthy feeling come from?

The story is probably a sad one, but remember that we can always change our story. We can’t change what was, but we can change how we live with it, and how we tell it to ourselves and the world.

Three very common reasons for feeling unworthy as an adult are:

• Conditional love.

When we are born, what will help us love ourselves and form healthy attachments is unconditional love. Sometimes we don’t get that. When love is doled out only when we are or behave or look a certain way …. let’s put it this way. It’s a rough way to start. There is a lot of “undoing” that needs to happen to feel as worthy as you are, despite the fact that your parents were a bit clueless.

• Toxic relationships.

The primary attachment relationship with parents is the foundation. Beyond conditional love, sometimes that connection is toxic. When there is excessive criticism, or emotional, mental, or physical abuse, it is very hard to grow up feeling great about yourself. This treatment of a child is, in my opinion, a crime against humanity, but even that can be overcome with some “undoing.” Other toxic foundational relationships, with partners or family members, can have the effect of undermining your feelings of worthiness.

• Social norms.

I should say “ridiculous and over-the-top social norms” because the daily bombardment of impossible-to-achieve “shoulds” in the media is criminal. Every billboard and movie and commercial and news story seems to contain judgments of us, what we do, how we look, what we wear, what we say. UGH. It is very hard to swim against that current, but it is not impossible.

How can I start to realize I AM WORTHY?

Try a few simple things every day. They may seem so tiny as to be silly, but the effect can, and will, accumulate if you let it.

• Tell yourself.

Literally repeat your worthiness to yourself. Know that it comes from inside you and that no one can grant it to you, or take it away.

• Write it down.

Make a list of your good qualities. If you can’t think of a single one, it’s because you are not used to liking yourself. So write down a good quality your best friend or boss or neighbor would say if I asked him or her. As the days and months go by, add to that list. It will get easier. Just watch.

• Challenge your limiting beliefs.

Although I don’t want you focusing on those limiting beliefs, you have to identify them, in order to recognize them when they show up, and challenge them. It’s not always important to know where or why they originated, just what they are. Once you have identified them, be aware of when those negative or shameful thoughts pop up. Stay in the present moment and reframe (and you can literally rewrite) those beliefs that hold you back. Create beliefs that serve you better. Example: “I am too shy to make friends” becomes “I am worth the effort.” Read more about reframing your beliefs here.

• Take the risk.

Sometimes being your authentic self feels like a big scary risk. Many people are in one closet or another without realizing it—trying to present a “socially acceptable” version of themselves rather than living honestly. A client of mine, a middle-aged Jewish woman who had raised her family, worked as a magazine writer, and been deeply involved in local causes, finally “came out” as a clairvoyant. She had known most of her life that she had these remarkable psychic gifts but she’d hidden them from everyone for decades, fearing judgment, rejection, disapproval. When her children were grown and out of the house, she allowed herself to practice her gifts and she is ecstatically happy now, and in a new relationship with a supportive man who admires her courage and talent.

I have known clients who literally decided to change jobs and move cities in order to step out into the world as their true selves. Not all shifts are that dramatic, but making the shifts is important so that you eventually feel aligned with your soul. And you definitely do NOT need others’ approval.

• Be patient.

With yourself and the process. Self-compassion is one of the keys to knowing your worthiness.

• Meditate.

When we meditate, we are in touch with the simplest of truths, and with ourselves. Finding that unsullied connection with self will show you what you need to know: that you are, in fact, oh-so-worthy.

• Speak up.

Be righteous as hell just as you would for a friend or loved one who was wronged. Only this time, it’s for yourself. Speak up for you. “I am worthy! Anyone who disagrees has me to answer to!”

• Reclaim your inner beautiful self.

You are more than enough … because you are.

The universe itself has a plan and your worthiness is vital to it. The Dalai Lama says, “With realization of one’s own potential and self-confidence in one’s ability, one can build a better world.” So realize that by getting in touch with your own true worth, you are doing good not only for you, but for everyone who loves you, everyone you meet, and in fact, everyone.