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Sunday, May 5, 2019

I'm Not That Old

“Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t
matter.” – Satchel PaigeI had a very chatty Uber driver a couple weeks ago.On the way from my hotel to the airport, Mohammed (“Ned”) asked
what brought me to St. Louis. I told him that I was there to teach some classes
and help out at an industry event, coaching other business owners to help them succeed. He was intrigued, so he asked me more questions:
why St. Louis, where the conference was, and how long I’ve been doing this.I told Ned that I’ve been helping to facilitate these events
for about a decade, spent five years on the board of directors of the
non-profit that runs them, and now still travel to help out when I can. Then I
told him that I’ve owned my own business for nearly eight years, but have been
involved in my industry off and on (mostly on) for over 20 years (nearly 28 to
be exact, as I was 12 when my parents opened their first business and I would
“help out”).“Twenty years!?,” he exclaimed. “You don’t look like you’re
old enough for that!”I told Ned that I’d be 40 in a few weeks. He stared at me in
the rearview mirror with a slightly confused look in his eyes, then flattered
me and told me that he would have guessed my age much younger.Ned proceeded to tell me that he himself was 41 … and then it
was my turn to look slightly confused. I held my tongue and refrained from
telling him that I would have guessed his age much older.I liked Ned. His eyes told me that his life hasn’t always
been easy, but his positive attitude and cheerfulness told me that he has a
bright future; he’s just getting started.I remember when my parents each turned 40. I was quite young
then, but still remember the over-the-hill signs, black balloons, age-insulting
greeting cards, jokes, and general state of pall that we tried our best to
instill in the air. It was funny for us. But, looking back, my parents were
still so young then! They were just getting started.A few months ago, I had to get my first pair of readers. I
joked at the time that I was “prepping for the middle ages.” But then someone
corrected me and said that “40 isn’t middle aged!” And I got curious. So, I Wikipediaed
it. Indeed, the U.S. census defines “middle age” as 45-64. Other sources define
it as starting as early as 35, which seems entirely too young to me. But 40
seems to be the most commonly accepted number.While I was doing research, I also wanted to definitively find
out when a person is “over the hill.” I thought for sure it was also 40, but then
some hokey recently corrected me on that as well. So, I turned to Google and—surprise,
surprise—I was correct on that too. By and large, “over the hill” is defined as
starting at 40.So, with all that settled, I can confidently say that I’ll
soon officially be “over the hill” and “middle aged"—intimidating phrases, indeed!For the past year, I’ve seen post after post as nearly
everyone else in my graduating class has hit 40. (I was one of the younger ones
in my class, so I’ll be one of the last to hit the mark.) Most of them look
great! Some are settled in, raising families, with growing/grown kids (and some
with grandkids); some are starting new chapters and off on fantastical
adventures; some seem very successful while others may have had a rough go of
it for a while. But, more often than not, my peers are looking young, feeling
young, and still acting young. They’re just getting started.I returned to my research to see what celebrities were born
in 1979 who also turn 40 this year and was surprised by some of the notables:
Kate Hudson, Chris Pratt, Jennifer Love Hewitt, John Krazinski, Adam Levine,
Rosario Dawson, Claire Danes, Jason Momoa, Kevin Hart, Tiffany Haddish, and
Pink. I would have thought some of these people to be younger than I am (and a
few I would have thought to be older but holding up well.) But, no, they’re all
my age! Some have had long careers, some are starting their second act, and
some are just getting started.You can’t judge a book by its cover. I see a lot of my clients’
IDs and It amazes me how wrong I often am in trying to pin someone’s age down
by looks and attitude alone. We’re all a product of our genetics, lifestyle,
health, habits, past experiences, activity level, self-care (or lack thereof), stress
level, responsibilities, surroundings, and flat out dumb luck.As the old saying goes, “You’re only as young as you feel.”
I feel incredibly lucky to feel young, and apparently look young. Yes, if you
look closely you’ll find plenty of grey hairs. And, as would be expected after
four decades of wear and tear, I have plenty of weird aches and pains … but
they’re manageable. I’m definitely not 18 anymore, but just when I may be
feeling a little “over the hill,” someone like Ned comes along and makes me
feel incredibly young again.Indeed, I’ve been very lucky. And I’m very grateful for the
advantages I’ve been given. But attitude trumps luck, and it’s our attitude
that can make all the difference in how old we act and how old we feel.I’m just getting started.…Marty Johnson is
an entrepreneur, writer, and business coach. He serves as ex officio Director
of Communication for AMBC,
Editor of MBC Today,
and is the owner of Uncle
Marty's Shipping Office in Ithaca, NY, where he's also
Co-Founder of the Collegetown Small Business Alliance. Please visit him at askunclemarty.com. #AskUncleMarty