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Rule 43: Don’t be a Jackass

Not being a jackass seems simple enough in spirit but can be difficult to operationalize. Waving to another cyclist because they are on a bike and not ‘the right’ kind of bike reduces your jackassness. But what if that cyclist is clearly riding his daughter’s bike to work because he probably got a third DUI? Taking the time to at least say hello to, if not get to know, everyone in your Tuesday night group ride is another. Especially if you’re the guy who lays the group to waste. The one I struggle with is not escalating tiffs with jackass motorists.

And yet another is living La Vie Velominatus by organizing events, building community, and providing cyclists opportunities to do what they love, en masse, simply because you love it when people ride bikes. Chris Skogen, the organizer of Minnesota’s Almanzo 100, is such a Velominatus. I do not know Chris and only briefly met him and saw him in action this past weekend, but he’s the type of person who exudes stoke for cycling (especially Gravelling) as one of the ambassadors of the Midwest’s gravel scene. Along with the other organizers of the Ragnarok 105 and Heck of the North, Skogen, the lead on the Almanzo 100, Royal 162, and Gentleman’s Ride, is a key figure in an extraordinary series of races.

This year was my fist entry into the Almanzo. One thing that sets it apart from the Heck of the North is that entry is not limited by numbers of riders. It seems anybody who signs up via postcard between the specified dates gets a slot, whereas the Heck is limited by lottery. Planning and budgeting for this must be a challenge as the race is totally free. Yes, read it again, free. Free stuff is good but when stuff is free expectations have nowhere to go but up. What Skogen offers in terms of support, SWAG, and hospitality could easily come at a premium and often does at races. He has done a fantastic job garnering sponsors and community supporters who all make the racers feel welcomed and appreciated. I can only hope that other riders expressed their gratitude to the locals as well.

I’ll spare you a race/ride report. Instead, I’ll try to provide you with a sense of the place the race occurs. Imagine the farm fields of Flanders periodically dipping down into numerous pastoral river valleys. Add to that the white gravel roads of Tuscany raced over in Il Strada Bianche and you’re pretty much there. These are not intermittent sectors of gravel but a continuous network of crushed limestone endemic to the area that intertwine for what must be thousands of miles. Over the course of the race I’d estimate not more than 10k were ridden on tarmac. The deep little river valleys are beautiful and thrilling places to descend into and provide really challenging climbs as they peter out onto gently rolling farmland above. This is especially true given the loose gravel. Comfort climbing in the saddle is a prerequisite to prevent tire slippage. Furthermore, the rolling farm land was no respite from the steep little climbs on race day as the wind was blowing at a sustained 40kph and gusting to 55. I was pushing the 34-17 on my ALAN to go downhill at times and nearly blown over or off the road several times.

The gravel is loose and deep compared to the more compacted gravel I’m used to in the northern part of the state. This early in the season it has also been freshly graded and added to by the local municipalities after a punishing winter. I had arrived the night before the race with my lucky Open Pave’s from the Keepers Tour mounted to my cross bike. After the pre-race Spaghetti feed I decided to recon some of the local gravel. Thankfully I’d thrown my Michelin CX-Jet tires in at the last minute as skinny road tires were much less than confidence inspiring. Descending these roads at 50+ and cornering would be downright sketchy so I hurried to remount my “fatties” before dark. I heard several first time riders who’d ridden road tires after the race comment that they wouldn’t be doing that again.

But back to not being a Jackass. In addition to an extremely well organized and SWAG’d-out event, Skogen seemed to be everywhere. He greeted everyone at the door of the spaghetti feed, welcomed each rider to the start line (before leading the entire field in a chorus of Happy Birthday to his 6-year old son, Jack), was seen at numerous places on the course encouraging riders, and welcomed each of us to the finish line with a handshake and a smile. His countless army of red-shirted volunteers were warm of heart and always smiling. He commented to me before the start that he felt terribly that he’d only rented three porta-potties as we looked at the line of 50 or so waiting to relieve themselves pre-race. I laughed and said I’d just come from the line and heard nothing but easy banter and a laid-back aesthete. He walked over and apologized to everyone in line anyways. It was apparent to me that the Almanzo is truly a labor of love for Chris and he approached it and the riders with kindness and humility.

There are so many things that we can step back and say cycling is about. The Bike, Rule #5, tradition, culture, the list goes on.The Almanzo covers all these bases handily. I ‘d posit that perhaps, though, it is really about Rule #43. If we really want people to enjoy riding bikes let’s not start by telling them to Harden the Fuck Up, shave their guns, or remove that fugly YJA. They will choose that path for themselves in due time. Let’s start by not being a jackass. If being kind is too much for you, you can at least not be a jackass. We could stand to take a lesson from Chris Skogen and welcome all comers – hard or soft, shaved or hairy. We’re not telling you to go out and create a badass race requiring heaps of Rule #5 that attracts some pretty strong riders on cool-ass bikes. We’re just saying that however you engage with cycling – including on this site – don’t be a jackass.

About Marko

Marko lives and rides in the upper midwest of the States, Minnesota specifically.

“Cycling territory” and “the midwest” don’t usually end up in the same sentence unless the conversation turns to the roots of LeMond, Hampsten, Heiden and Ochowitz.

While the pavé and bergs of Flanders are his preferred places to ride, you can usually find him harvesting gravel along forest and farm roads. He owes a lot to Cycling and his greatest contribution to cycling may forever be coining the term Rainbow Turd.

Spot on Marko. Also @JiPM for your Cliff Notes version. We are all out there representing the Way of the Velominatus, and should strive to avoid bringing the Order into disrepute.

Indeed, which is why Rule #43 is so important. Being a prick about anything isn’t going to prove anything to anyone but yourself. And anyone going around calling out people’s Rule Violations and being Velominazi’s are missing the point.

I’m inclined to argue that the only Rule that should never be violated by any Velominatus any time, anywhere, it’s Rule #43.

And yet another is living La Vie Velominatus by organizing events, building community, and providing cyclists opportunities to do what they love, en masse, simply because you love it when people ride bikes.

Speaking of this fine point, we have two Cogals coming up this weekend, and more in the next month. Remember to join your fellow riders; everyone is welcome.

Thanks Marko. Great article. Could gravel road racing be the perfect cycle sport? The style and relative cleanliness of road racing, the camaraderie and slick-surface fun of MTB, longer and less intense than cyclocross, cool variety of bikes, etc.

A+1. I haven’t read through the rest of the posts yet so I may be wrong, but I am willing to venture that @Marko took those shots on either his iPhone or his little point and shoot Canon or whatever he’s got.

The more I read and hear how I have to wave at every schmuck riding on two wheels from the other direction, the less I do it.

Im honking along in a paceline or alone at 23 MPH with a line of cars bearing dwon on me from behind and I have to sit up and wave at some cyclist coming the other way, lest I be considered a “jackass?” Give me a break.

If I see the rider, I wave, but you have to be Casually Deliberate. Don’t have like you’re standing on the bow of the departing Titanic. A little finger wave, nod of the head, whatever works.

When I’m in the V Cave, though, I rarely notice other riders and thusly don’t wave; they can deal with it and if they think I nod snobbed them then they’ll just have to get over it.

Im honking along in a paceline or alone at 23 MPH

I don’t know what any of that means, but I am taken to understand it means you are going hard.

@eightzero There’s all kinds of gravel around the Seattle Summer Cogal route if you want to redraw it! Frank and I plan to ride 200km on gravel from Tolt to Snoqualmie falls later this Summer.

Indeed – that will be badass. It will be a Cogal as well, we just have to pull our heads out of asses and organize it. And train for it.

I’m looking at you G’rilla, for canceling tomorrow’s sufferfest. I was really going to put you in the pain cave, too. You were going to cry. A little. Now you’ll never know how good I am because tomorrow will be the only day this year that I ride hard. Every other ride is a recovery ride.

@frank On that note, Sunday’s Ontario Cogal will include its own gravel roads and one nasty gravel/dirt hill, which will put everyone in the pain cave. I’m having trouble finding a good pic of the Grange Side Road, but here’s a pic of the bridge at the bottom, which looks (and is) pretty badass. Here’s what I wrote after discovering this bit of road last November:

The problem with new roads, though, is that you don’t really know what you have coming. On the other side of Inglewood, I discovered that my path to the Forks of the Credit Rd. was along what looked like a very soft dirt road. So I turned left onto The Grange Road, which led to one of the bigger climbs I’ve seen this year. And, as it turned out, also on a dirt road. Or mud road, after the light rain over the past few days. Hard going. I couldn’t leave the saddle without the rear wheel spinning out and losing traction. Mud spitting all over the bike and my legs. Definitely a ride to be savored. Climbing out of the mist, mud spattered, breathing heavily, riding slowly. Magic!

And from Velominati lurker and Sunday Cogalite who tried this last week:

Going up the Grange Road in very dry conditions made Rattlesnake seem like a walk in the park. Unless someone has the right combination of silky smooth pedalling motion and really easy gearing, I would think that some will find it a humbling walk. I started out smiling at the diabolical nature of the route planner including the dirt climb, and am not entirely sure how I feel about it now.

Will be a great ride.

There’s also this: pushing oneself to the limit helps keep one in accordance with Rule #43. Suffering on the bike is a humbling experience and the enjoyment derived from that is one that is better shared and also diminishes any latent jackassery.

There’s also this: pushing oneself to the limit helps keep one in accordance with Rule #43. Suffering on the bike is a humbling experience and the enjoyment derived from that is one that is better shared and also diminishes any latent jackassery.

That’s a good point: if you have enough energy to be a dick, maybe you’re not riding hard enough!

Thanks Marko. Great article.Could gravel road racing be the perfect cycle sport? The style and relative cleanliness of road racing, the camaraderie and slick-surface fun of MTB, longer and less intense than cyclocross, cool variety of bikes, etc.

So it’s settled then. The next Keepers Tour is either in Tuscany or Minnesota. @Marko – how big is your gite?

@eightzeroThere’s all kinds of gravel around the Seattle Summer Cogal route if you want to redraw it! Frank and I plan to ride 200km on gravel from Tolt to Snoqualmie falls later this Summer.

I don’t do gravel. Like sprints, I admire people that do gravel. Cycling is dangerous. Bloody dangerous. I try to mitigate my risk a bit by staying off gravel, wet roads, and riding at night.

I have to respectfully disagree with that. Cycling isn’t particularly dangerous. There are some risks, sure, and you can voluntarily raise or lower these risks, but the notion that cycling is an inherently dangerous pursuit is a baffling media construct.

@eightzeroThere’s all kinds of gravel around the Seattle Summer Cogal route if you want to redraw it! Frank and I plan to ride 200km on gravel from Tolt to Snoqualmie falls later this Summer.

I don’t do gravel. Like sprints, I admire people that do gravel. Cycling is dangerous. Bloody dangerous. I try to mitigate my risk a bit by staying off gravel, wet roads, and riding at night.

I have to respectfully disagree with that. Cycling isn’t particularly dangerous. There are some risks, sure, and you can voluntarily raise or lower these risks, but the notion that cycling is an inherently dangerous pursuit is a baffling media construct.

@eightzeroThere’s all kinds of gravel around the Seattle Summer Cogal route if you want to redraw it! Frank and I plan to ride 200km on gravel from Tolt to Snoqualmie falls later this Summer.

I don’t do gravel. Like sprints, I admire people that do gravel. Cycling is dangerous. Bloody dangerous. I try to mitigate my risk a bit by staying off gravel, wet roads, and riding at night.

I have to respectfully disagree with that. Cycling isn’t particularly dangerous. There are some risks, sure, and you can voluntarily raise or lower these risks, but the notion that cycling is an inherently dangerous pursuit is a baffling media construct.

Sensing #43 tensions are too inflamed. Or just sinuses.

Tension? Really? Sorry if it comes across like that. Sorry to @eightzero, too if there’s real offense caused. I thought I was politely disagreeing. I think the arguments of an article or two ago may be making us a bit sensitive, perhaps.

@eightzeroThere’s all kinds of gravel around the Seattle Summer Cogal route if you want to redraw it! Frank and I plan to ride 200km on gravel from Tolt to Snoqualmie falls later this Summer.

I don’t do gravel. Like sprints, I admire people that do gravel. Cycling is dangerous. Bloody dangerous. I try to mitigate my risk a bit by staying off gravel, wet roads, and riding at night.

I have to respectfully disagree with that. Cycling isn’t particularly dangerous. There are some risks, sure, and you can voluntarily raise or lower these risks, but the notion that cycling is an inherently dangerous pursuit is a baffling media construct.

Sensing #43 tensions are too inflamed. Or just sinuses.

Tension? Really? Sorry if it comes across like that. Sorry to @eightzero, too if there’s real offense caused. I thought I was politely disagreeing. I think the arguments of an article or two ago may be making us a bit sensitive, perhaps.

Not you Blah, sorry. RedRanger. Although you had me researching media construct. Cycling is not dangerous unless we go out of the way to make it so.

@eightzeroThere’s all kinds of gravel around the Seattle Summer Cogal route if you want to redraw it! Frank and I plan to ride 200km on gravel from Tolt to Snoqualmie falls later this Summer.

I don’t do gravel. Like sprints, I admire people that do gravel. Cycling is dangerous. Bloody dangerous. I try to mitigate my risk a bit by staying off gravel, wet roads, and riding at night.

I have to respectfully disagree with that. Cycling isn’t particularly dangerous. There are some risks, sure, and you can voluntarily raise or lower these risks, but the notion that cycling is an inherently dangerous pursuit is a baffling media construct.

You haven’t seen @eightzero’s bike handling skills. It is fucking dangerous when you ride like that.

@eightzero To take a few liberties with a framed print I received from my father:

[Cycling] is not inherently dangerous, but to an even greater degree than the sea, is terribly unforgiving of any carelessness, incapacity, or neglect.

Nice quote. On flying, though. In flying that means that if you break down or have a collision at sea you can be pretty easily screwed. In the air, you just plain will be screwed. Not sure how that relates to cycling, though, particularly when compared to the sea. Perhaps, in your quote, we could take “the sea” and replace it with [driving a car]? Agreed that mistakes can have big consequences when at speed or in traffic.

@eightzeroThere’s all kinds of gravel around the Seattle Summer Cogal route if you want to redraw it! Frank and I plan to ride 200km on gravel from Tolt to Snoqualmie falls later this Summer.

I don’t do gravel. Like sprints, I admire people that do gravel. Cycling is dangerous. Bloody dangerous. I try to mitigate my risk a bit by staying off gravel, wet roads, and riding at night.

I have to respectfully disagree with that. Cycling isn’t particularly dangerous. There are some risks, sure, and you can voluntarily raise or lower these risks, but the notion that cycling is an inherently dangerous pursuit is a baffling media construct.

You haven’t seen @eightzero’s bike handling skills. It is fucking dangerous when you ride like that.

Oh, great…I show up just one time with my blood alcohol level a wee high, and get judged for life. Fine, just fine…

@eightzero To take a few liberties with a framed print I received from my father:

[Cycling] is not inherently dangerous, but to an even greater degree than the sea, is terribly unforgiving of any carelessness, incapacity, or neglect.

Nice quote. On flying, though. In flying that means that if you break down or have a collision at sea you can be pretty easily screwed. In the air, you just plain will be screwed. Not sure how that relates to cycling, though, particularly when compared to the sea. Perhaps, in your quote, we could take “the sea” and replace it with [driving a car]? Agreed that mistakes can have big consequences when at speed or in traffic.

No, no, no. I am not going to get drawn into another discussion about relative risk. I actually AM (or more precisely WAS) a rocket scientist, and let’s just say I prefer to be in charge of my own destiny.

Thanks for saying what I was thinking. Too many personal comments and not enough awareness of the posters’ credentials. e.g. Orange cog, shaves his legs, works in a bike shop vs. Grey cog with a 4 inside. Not that new posters can’t be awesome straight away, remember @Calmante posting about his Dad?

Unfortunately we don’t have anything like your gravel tracks in the UK, it’s either full on tarmac or muddy farm tracks. There isn’t really anywhere you can go off road on a road bike.

I thought there was a whole network of road races in England what raced on those farm tracks. It even has a ProTour turnout. Its totally badass.

Or I’m fucking confused and proving my point about dumbass Americans.

There is one pro level race (UCI Europe Tour), the CiCLE Classic in Rutland that has a good amount of off road in it. The weather this year was truly filthy. There may well be other similar races at a lower level but I haven’t come across any others. There’s a sportive version which I quite fancy but can’t make due to family stuff. maybe next year.

There is a network of unpaved public roads, known as green lanes but the majority of these are nothing more than rough tracks where ancient rights of way have been maintained. They tend to be the domain of walkers, 4x4s and off road motorbikes (road legal enduro bikes and the like). They’re great on a mountain bike and some of them might well be OK on a CX bike with the right tires but you’d struggle on a road bike. There’s rarely any form of surfacing like gravel and no grading unlike the unpaved roads in the States that I’ve seen (unless it’s done by local farmers for their own benefit). When it’s dry, the ground is hard and lumpy and when it’s wet it turns into a quagmire.

@brett An awesome looking race indeed but if your responding to my post about the lack of gravel or other road bike friendly activities in the UK, it’s in Brittany as opposed to Britain.

It looks like I’m about to be saddled with an extended period of working in Germany, three days a week for a few months which sounds like a good argument for a spot of n+1 indulgence. All this gravel talk has me thinking a cross bike is the way to go.

I’d have to sort out some different tyres and decide if I wanted to get up at V AM to get there, but looks like it could be a bit of fun. And considering this is part of a vintage bike weekend I may ride my ’83 Bianchi

seems like this thread like the article has dove-tailed in to all things ‘hardman’ and dirt road riding, which is my new found love over the winter, which reminds me i need to dig out the rocky mtn and ride the gravel this afternoon

thanks for the good words Marko, its a good reminder to me to not be a jackass, as my jaskassness genome is quite dominant. I have to say, seeing some cat 1 dicks, nail it and then step off the bike afterward and show off true dickness was for the novice in me, something i assumed to be expected, and afterall, at the time that was all i knew. Then after seeing, being in circles with PRO, like Big George and others you see what humble guys and good guys they are and thats the way to be.

thanks for the info on Almanzo, will do next year with others the gravel road scene has a lot of people like you mentioned, free, gentlemans rides, which is uber cool

I’d have to sort out some different tyres and decide if I wanted to get up at V AM to get there, but looks like it could be a bit of fun.And considering this is part of a vintage bike weekend I may ride my ’83 Bianchi

Would be interested in more info on this! Are you riding it? And where are you located? I’m in NC, don’t love driving to ride my bike, but for a cool ride…sure. Eager for some long distance gravel riding after reading this!

I’ve been buried at work this week and only just now have had a chance to read this article. Thanks so much @Marko for taking a great ride and transforming it into a demonstrative example of a rule that, as you point out, is far down the list, but should be primary in importance. Especially for a group that, above all else, advocates cycling as a way of life. Chapeau, and VLVV.

Oh, and you should blow everything else off this weekend and drive down to West Bend, Wisconsin for the cogal on Saturday.

No, no, no. I am not going to get drawn into another discussion about relative risk. I actually AM (or more precisely WAS) a rocket scientist, and let’s just say I prefer to be in charge of my own destiny.