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Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Building

I thought we had built a sukkah over our family.
A sukkah of protection.
I thought we did it all as right as we could.
Organic milk.
BPA-free sippy cups.
Five-point harnesses.
Back-to-sleep.
Regular well-child visits.
Regular dental cleaning.
We followed all the "rules."
We dotted all the i's and crossed all the t's.

I thought we had built a sukkah over our family.
A sukkah of (data-based) hope.

We flushed IV lines, and we read medical journals.
We washed our hands. We used bleach wipes.
We researched clinical trials and we asked questions.
We planned and we arranged, we orchestrated and we engaged.
We dotted i's and crossed t's....

I thought we had built a sukkah over our family.

I think that sukkah is still there, but we're huddled in the rain, wishing that its roof gave us more shelter. We're watching our decorations weep with ink and feeling the cold droplets on our heads.

I thought we had built a sukkah over our family, and we did.
It just wasn't the kind of sukkah I imagined.

All that stuff that I thought was so important....maybe it was, a little. We still drink organic milk. There are still five-point harnesses and visits to the dentist.

But I realize now that the sukkah we built was so much more.

It is a sukkah built on books and snuggles, on bedtime kisses and family outings. It was built on chaos and tickle fights and letting the kids jump on the couch (sorry, Mom) and leaning toward "yes" as often as possible. It was built on dessert at breakfast and licking the bowl and doing chores. It was built on gathering friends and holding onto them and making them important members of our family. It was built on an ever-widening circle of love.

We built a sukkah over our family and it seems to be holding us up.
I'm so glad that we did.

What? Doesn't everyone fence with their Torah yad and their tante/tutor? En garde!