You Have Red Lipstick on Your Teeth & Other Beauty Things You Wish People Told You

You’ve just spent a good 10 minutes catching up with an old friend you randomly bumped into while running errands. You’ve hit all the top-line basics—your dating life, where you’re living, where you’re working, the details on your mutual friend’s upcoming nuptials. As you walk away, you pop open your compact mirror to make sure your makeup is still intact, only to discover your red lipstick has moved from the precise spot it belongs on your cupid’s bow and is now smeared all over your teeth. You basically look like the Joker helped you apply your lipstick this morning.

There’s no way said friend didn’t see that lipstick completely coating your upper canine. You’re debating on whether this chick is a “friend” at all, am I right?

If I’m being honest, the whole “you have lipstick on your teeth” situation is one I’ve been in many a times (less now that I know the power of blotting and lip liner), and more often than not, I discover it myself.

And to that I’d like to say, "WHY DIDN’T ANYONE TELL ME?!” And also, what the hell?

I was talking about this very situation with my coworker a few days ago, and I decided that being told, politely of course, that your makeup is smeared so you can, I don’t know, fix it, is a whole lot less embarrassing than not being told at all. It’s the equivalent of not telling that tipsy girl at the bar that she has toilet paper on her foot. You just do it. It’s a sisterhood. Whether or not she’s screaming Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believen’” from the top of her lungs, you tell her.

And on that note, I decided to put together a list of other beauty things we should tell each other.

Red Lipstick on Your Teeth

Do we need to go over this again? It’s doubly as important if there is a camera anywhere near the premises.

You Have Mascara Tears

Whether you got caught in the rain without an umbrella because you don't check the weather or some dude did something really awful, friends tell friends when they have mascara running down their faces. The only time I want panda eyes is when I'm taking off my makeup or when I am dressing up as one for Halloween.

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Toilet Paper Trails

I just think it's necessary that we reiterate the above point once again.

Dry Shampoo Dust

Because we should all be able to at least pretend we have freshly washed hair.