You joined Twitter. You followed some people. Now, with these eight especially, you wish you never had.

Some are boring, some don’t get it and others are just hateful people who you feel obliged to stick with. But one thing they all have in common? They need to be dropped – fast.

1. The one you started following because they seemed attractive but they’re actually really dull

You saw their avatar somewhere, thought ‘well, hello there!’, followed them, tried to subtly hit on them by favouriting as many of their tweets as possible, but eventually gave up because there was nothing to favourite. You would unfollow them but in your head there is still a chance that they will DM you one day and, well, they still occasionally post selfies you can lovingly stare at. You big creep.

2. The one who thinks Twitter is like Facebook

It’s one thing to post fairly uninteresting updates to your friends and family on Facebook but, damn it – this is Twitter. Why can’t people at least try to be relevant?

3. The one who’s always picking fights

We definitely don’t mean you, Katie Hopkins. Or you, Louise Mensch. And we’re definitely not implying that you should really find some new hobbies, because you’re really starting to get on Twitter’s collective nerds. Oh no.

4. All the people you hate-follow

Look, we’re not judging, we do it too. But keeping some people on your timeline just so you can sneer at them when they’re having a bad day is a bit childish. And you know you’ll end up being the one in a bad mood if their lives turn out to be better than yours.

5. The one you know IRL so you have to follow each other, but they’re terrible at Twitter

They may be a close-ish friend, or a relative. They told you they’d joined Twitter, long after everyone, so you started following them so they could feel welcome. IT WAS A MISTAKE. They don’t understand @’s, tweet questions they could easily Google, and you don’t know where to start in explaining it. So you keep following them, while silently resenting it.

6. The one who uses #hashtags #all #the #damn #time

LOOK. HASHTAGS STOPPED BEING NEW AND EXCITING IN 2011. AT THE LATEST. IT IS NOW 2014. DON’T YOU DARE #HIT #THAT #KEY #AGAIN.

7. The failed comedian who just won’t let go

You followed them because one of their mildly entertaining jokes got retweeted by someone you follow. You thought they’d be funny, but boy is it painful to watch them try so hard. They make ‘topical’ puns a day after everyone, blatantly steal other people’s jokes, and beg you to come to their open mic night. You somehow have a tiny bit of sympathy for them, so you can’t quite bring yourself to unfollow. But you should.

8. The one who thinks they’ll manage to change the world via Twitter

Sign my petition! Tweet your MP! Use this hashtag! Retweet my slogan! This will definitely work! Even though it’s never worked in the past! But it’s fine! I’ve got the energy! I feel so passionately about so many things! *unfollow, unfollow, unfollow*