Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Zombie Bob Sanders is hurting. His small stature and rabid, brain-hungry style of play lead to him frequently getting hurt. ESPN's newly assigned Colts reporter Len Pasquarelli (ok, so it's not true, but these days it feels that way) says that the Colts are holding him out of almost all offseason workouts.

The only player on the Colts that is more important than Zombie Bob is #18. The good news for the Horseshoe is that the only way to kill a zombie is to take its head off, and Bob frequently wears a helmet on the field. Bob could stumble out there with one arm partially hacked off, filled with several bullet holes, but as long as his head is on, he'll still be able to reek havoc in the secondary.

The Star claims it's because Dallas had the larger stadium. We here at 18to88.com have exclusive information that says that several league owners were scared that Indianapolis is really located near a "still open portal to hell through which the once departed move freely back and forth to and from this mortal coil". Bob Sanders impact on football in Indianapolis is immeasurable, but if this anonymous owner (rumor has it that it was Bob Kraft) is to be believed, it's not always a positive one.