Hello everyone, hope you all are doing ok and enjoying your time.. I'm new to this

I'm new to this. I constantly think about suicide, the more I think it the more it seems real. I'm a loner, no friends or family really. I'm an outcast, I'm someone that's easily forgotten about. I'm misread, misunderstood. I feel like I don't exist. I had a fucked up childhood. I feel like no genuinely cares anymore, no one sees the sorrow behind a smile, the love behind anger, the reason behind silence. Everyone is just "nice", no one wants to listen or hear you out. No one wants to deal with you or put up with you.. I feel like suicide is my only option which is why I came here, maybe I can get help or make some genuine friends, or maybe help someone else.. anywho I hope you all are enjoying your time and doing ok.

Welcome to the Forum! You're not too far gone. Sorry to hear that you've been struggling with these thoughts and being alone. I hope you will be able to make some friends here. Feel free to check out the chat room and say hi. Don't be afraid/shy we're pretty friendly.

We're here if you want to share in more detail the things that have been bothering you. And yes, we do help each other out, so I'm sure you will be of help to someone on here; even if you feel at your lowest, you will find that you may still have something to share to help another person along on their journey.

I am now where you are. Life I am convinced is meaningless and insignificance easily replaces all forms of spirituality and religion. And yet, there are fellow sufferers, who through many similar experiences, genetic, familial, environmental etc. feel the same way. Is there not one more drunken thrill fuck on the horizon? Is there not one more satisfying experience helping another on their way just around the corner? Is there not one more stabbing blasting of a homophobe/racist/etc. resulting in the necessary public humiliation to change that person? In death there are no possibilities.