Morning Juice: Reddus Lightus Camerata, Infecting an Intersection Near You

Woke up this morning, looked at the news, felt like sharing. Yes, brothers and sisters, can I get a witness?

A dead whale in Hallandale Beach. Pretty much sucks for the whale and for the poor vet who had to euthanize it. Not much to tell except it was a baby sperm whale, only three feet, and it beached itself. That's never the kind of thing you want to read about first thing in the morning. [Sun-Sentinel]

Rarely does a medical examiner reverse a cause-of-death declaration. But that's what's happening in the Novack case. Broward County M.E. Joshua Perper switched his decision yesterday, saying that the blunt-force-trauma head injuries suffered by Bernice Novack makes her death a homicide, not an accident. Going to have to watch those old videotapes to see if Quincy ever flip-flopped like that. [Palm Beach Post]

The story makes no mention of when it happened -- seems like it was close to 10:30 p.m., but a wham-bam storm rolled through last night. Fifty-mph winds, trees down, power outages were all reported as the storm moved from Miami-Dade up into Broward. That's where Cyndi, the late-night clerk at the nearby Hess station, appeared pretty startled by the massive thunderclap that knocked the store's debit-card system offline. The lightning show afterward was impressive. [Miami Herald]

Occasionally, news is so important and carries such a profound message that it simply must be shared with the world. That is why, dear reader, the powers that be decided you must be notified: Enrique Iglesias will soon be water-skiing naked in Biscayne Bay. The story does not say why Anna Kournikova won't be joining him, which seems like a real tragedy. [Miami Herald]

Tough economic times call for drastic measures. And that's why the folks running the Town of Jupiter have taken steps to make sure business owners have it even tougher. In an effort to make downtown more of a "family place, not just a late-night place," they're planning to push last call up a couple of hours, which is sure to put the hurt on bars and restaurants. [Palm Beach Post]

The fine folks at the Sentinel have put together a handy-dandy map of 30 Broward/Palm Beach intersections known to have been infected with reddus lightus camerata, an insidious traffic-borne virus prone to harvesting dollars from checking accounts. [Sun-Sentinel]

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