Dear
Beartowntonians, Northeasterners, Americans, and everyone
in the world and the solar system:

I wish to
take this opportunity, through this unique newspaper, to
give you all a little insight into the wonderful wild
world of logging. I have included some spectacularphotos of
our log job in Lost Hollow. These photos take time to
load as well as a
littleditty which I sing to tell you more
about myself. Please
be patient so you can fully enjoy this informative report.
Us loggers are proud of our heritage and tend to do many
things in a backwards manner to hold onto the traditions
of the past. We refer to this effort as au natural. We
still maintain a cozy logging camp where many types of
nightime enjoyment take place. My buddies and I have
allowed the comforts of electricity, radio, and TV, as
well as indoor plumbing.

Our
diet has changed from pork and beans (or beans and pork)
to gastronomic delights of an international menu. We use
linen tablecloths and genuine silverware to enjoy the
four course evening meals. Wine and candles lend to the
ambience of the bunk house. The busy workday now has a 45
minute tea break at 9AM and 3PM. Evenings often include
poetry reading, manicures, and pillow fights.

We
carry on the important legacy of the woods; striving to
use America's most valuable renewable resourse in a
sustainable manner. Some of us loggers may have changed
slightly but wood is still the same. All of us are
surrounded by wood; beautiful, beautiful wood. For a
horrible thought, next time you are using the lavatory, THINK PLASTIC!
Below is a picture of the crew in Lost Hollow. My buddy
and I are on the right, just prior to a lavish trip into
town for the weekend.