TellTheTruthTuesday

Generational curses aren’t solely spiritually based. When we think about this topic the word “Curse” makes this cliché pretty scary and depending on if you’re a bible thumper or not determines how you see the term. I do believe there is some validity to spiritual generational curses. However, it is also my belief that because this term has been deemed “spiritual or religious” many miss the message in understanding Generational curses. I realize that when we’re born we are systematically molded into who we are and or how we should do things. For that reason, I have noted below just 3 of what I refer to as “environmental curses” that can cause us to have a delay in our personal-development. Take a look in an attempt to bring awareness to some of the issues that could be the reason for the hesitation in your personal-growth.

Appearance

Lately I’ve taken some time to really look into how my family was raised and I noticed that the women in the family and even the men aren’t the best dressed people. We were only taught to be “neat and clean”. I really hadn’t noticed that I was raised to be a very relaxed dressing person until I started feeling bad for wanting to wear makeup. My aunt (who raised me) would always say “you aint gotta look like a clown everyday” (wear makeup) to look nice. She instead only instructed us to bathe twice a day and wear “clean draws”.

Just wondering if you’ve ever been in a what if debate with yourself. You know the type of debate that holds your aspirations hostage. You have an idea or dream to go for a certain goal you want to attain, be it starting a business, applying for a job even as simple as purchasing a gift for someone you love. The what if debate talks us out of the desires of our hearts by simply weighing the outcome of things on the negative side of if. For example: “I want to start a book club but what if no one joins”. I thought about this a little further and realized that what if has more than likely been the demise of many great ideas. I have a challenge for you and the what if’s in your life. For the next week try to assume every if is positive. Here’s what I mean, take the example above, “what if I start a book club and have numerous members”. Here are 3 tips that’ll help you redirect your negative what if thoughts.

Recognize when the negative if’s thoughts are happening

Picture yourself in the midst of the exact scenario if the idea happened just how you desired

Push past the fear and take action anyway.

Don’t get me wrong, there will be times when things don’t go the way you plan, however, if you never try it’ll never go the way you plan. Don’t allow what if’s to paralyze your dreams, goals, and aspirations instead allow them to be the fuel to move you to go after everything you want.

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Without even trying expectations are placed on people that they may not be able to satisfy. There is this notion that people ought know certain things and for this reason many individuals are left disappointed. The one term that really aggravates me is “common sense”. But common sense for who, by who and according to who. Truth be told common sense differs for many reasons (culture, class, religion, race etc.). Your “common sense” may not be that of your child, friend, spouse, lover etc. and vice versa. If common sense was so very common when a person applied for and secured a job he or she wouldn’t need a job description. I applied for a job as a person, I understand what a janitor does so common sense should tell me I’m suppose to clean

If one never communicates what he or she expects unfortunately the expectations are empty and unhealthy. Empty because this gives the argument “how was I suppose to know you expected that”. Unhealthy because if someone doesn’t satisfy your “expectation” it could cause you unnecessary stress.

Here are three things to consider doing when setting expectations that could be viewed as silent:

Surely you’ve heard the saying “we are our own worst critic”. This sad but undeniable truth can oftentimes be more detrimental to our emotional health then we know. There are instances when we are extremely hard or ourselves and we offer compassion to anyone but ourselves. The idea of self-compassion is not a leeway to self-pity; instead, it’s intended to help us learn from what we perceive our mistakes are. Consider this; if a close friend or your child were to share a situation they were really down on themselves about you’d have the ability to pull various positive aspects of their situation. You’d convey to them different approaches they could try in the future as well as what skill and or lessons they could learn from their situation. Why is this process so difficult for individuals to implement? Check out this video I found by School of Life on YouTube. Self-Compassion Exercise by, The School of Life

You may also find the following emotional balancing tools useful when dealing with Self-compassionContinue reading

Sometimes I wonder if the reason some people are so favorable to everyone because they support others with no regard for self. Are you someone who has a habit of trying to accommodate others even when it’s a detriment to your own plans and or schedule? Don’t get me wrong selflessness is a good attribute to have (sometimes). However, this character trait has the ability to be a double edge sword. If one isn’t careful it is very probable he or she will begin to build resentments. Below outlines three ways not to allow resentment to build slowly and become a silent killer of your happiness.

Say No. There are times when you would like to be accommodating and quite frankly you must say no. Meeting the needs of everyone in your life and they just so happened not to carry the same trait can build resentments. Have you ever heard the saying “treat others like you want to be treated”? This is a quote that I somewhat I agree and disagree with. Many people don’t share the same kind of character traits. It’s a bad idea to look for identical treatment in return, and those do will ultimately be disappointed.

Communicate your feelings. It’s reasonable to make the decision to “pick your battles”. I would challenge you though, to weigh the possible outcome. Have you ever experienced “trying to keep the peace” and not mention an aggravation you encountered and every time you turn around you continue to have the experience until you go off? Just when you’ve had enough the other party or parties appear to be oblivious to your irritation. Picking your battles doesn’t call for you to allow people, situations and or dislikes to hold you mentally hostage. The earlier you communicate your feelings the sooner you can deal with the situation.

Tell yourself yes. Treat yourself to something nice every and then. Depending on your life situation you are obligated to many responsibilities. The thing I’ve found to be a commonality is people tend to drop the ball to their most important responsibility, themselves. This is not to offer advice to enter into irresponsible behavior. Even if you do something small, for example, getting a manicure once or twice a month or even taking yourself for coffee or lunch. Saying yes to yourself doesn’t mean you have to break the bank. This practice gives you a sense of satisfaction for all the hard work and good you do.

Some things we experience are just difficult to accept. Life has the tenancy to (at times) slap the taste from your mouth (metaphorically speaking of course). Acceptance can be tough, however, it isn’t mentally healthy to dwell in a constant state of disbelief. At some point, your mental health requires a connection to reality. In other words, prolonged denial is detrimental to self-growth and personal development. Below I have outlined three things that are absolutely essential to avoiding detrimental denial.

Accept People: Accepting people for who they are can be a difficult task especially if the individuals happen to be loved ones. An attempt to reveal to an individual their unrealized potential can be compared to “beating a dead horse”. This is also true if a person has certain character traits that are not in alignment with yours. The two of you just may not be ethically compatible. These people may like to do things that you don’t like and you aren’t in agreement with. Heck, they may have done something to you on more than one occasion and you keep deciding to deal with them the SAME WAY (and then you get mad).There’s a saying “if a dog bites you once shame on it if the dog bites you twice shame on you”. Know people for who they tell and show you they are.Continue reading

Forgiveness can sometimes be the topic that no one cares to discuss. This is especially true if you are expected to forgive someone who has hurt you deeply. One major issue with forgiveness is the fact that many people don’t seem to understand that it is a process. Oftentimes people have a tendency to look for immediate forgiveness. In the event a person apologizes for wronging or hurting someone, he or she has the expectation of and an immediate “okay I forgive you”. This is however an empty expectation because depending on how the wronged feels about the offence determines if the forgiveness is an immediate forgivable offence or not.

When thinking about the act of forgiving one should consider that to forgive does not imply the act is excused. Many times people confuse forgiveness and excusal and therefore make forgiveness a more difficult task. Countless articles and studies suggest that forgiveness is attributed to positive mental health.

In the world of which we live, unfortunately there are countless ways for us to have or enter into a negative emotional state. Let’s think about this it for a second, even if life is wonderful for you right now, everything is working in your favor and life is looking up negativity can come . As soon as you get out of bed there is potential for your emotions to be shifted to a negative place. Imagine this; you decide you want to be dressed for the weather and you turn your local news station on, more than likely you will hear something disturbing. This is just one of the many ways that negativity organically seeps into our minds.

Check out ways to activate a positive state of mind below.

Practice Gratitude. The only way (in my opinion) to open doors for new and bigger opportunities is to be grateful for the ones you already have. This is not to suggest you become comfortable or content with where you are at all. It’s a great thing to have the desire to do more. On the other hand however, one has to be careful not to sit in a seat of ungratefulness just because the desires of your heart are grand

I know there are many times in life where we feel we could or should have done some things differently in our lives. Whelp as we all are aware each passing moment is irretrievable. The best thing we can do is move forward with intention.

There is a good saying that I myself should to go by a little more; “if you fail to plan you plan to fail”. My weekends at times are all over the place because I will plan maybe one event and play the remainder of my weekend by ear.

With this strategy, before I know it the weekend is OVER and I have not achieved even half of what I would’ve like to. I’m not sure if you can relate but this week (including the weekend) I am goal setting, planning my time and following the regimen, hopefully, you will create your own set of plans to go by.

Here are a few things I’ve learned have the potential to be major setbacks in goal setting and or planning:Continue reading

Social media, newspapers aids, news reporters, paparazzi, family, friends, associates and or enemy’s all have one thing in common, they share information. Now, the position we decide to take after we hear the stories isn’t always our decision. This is most certainly true if you just so happen to be filled with unstable emotions. Yup I said it, for every person who proclaims to “not be in their feelings” can often be caught one time or another in their feelings. Hell this post has the ability to put you in your feelings, hopefully after you take a deeper dive you’ll have been open enough to have learned something. Continue reading

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