Monday, September 17, 2012

I have a great picture of the big fellow that looks exactly like he's laughing. I'll have to scan it and post it.

School just started two weeks ago. Our youngest began JK (another reason why teachers DO NOT GET PAID ENOUGH) and a lot of friends asked me if that made me feel old and my answer was no but the fact that my oldest is in grade four and thus will be starting university in NINE YEARS, well now, that makes me feel old. (pulls pants up to nipples, shouts at teenagers on lawn)

So its been hectic, school and school activities and ballet and gymnastics and hockey and so on, everything getting going, back in the swing and all that and on top of that work has been hectic for both myself and Jenn. This past week has been especially mental. Its always mental but this past week, oh man.

Jenn worked Monday and Tuesday and then Saturday, Sunday and today. These are twelve hour shifts, mind, so its the mental cases and myself, working or not, running here and there and everywhere and they're hyper because of school starting and driving me out of my mind.

And then on top of this on the three days in between Jenn had stuff going on every evening. So yeah, as I said, mental.

Tonight was the end of it. Cooked up some nice fatty chops and little potatoes, sliced a cucumber up, sent the boy down to get me a nice big cold beer. Oh yeah, winding down.

This is pretty standard stuff for me as you know. Have friends who just had their first and buddy is cut from the same cloth as me. Friend of theirs was over, planning a night out for the new mom, said that Angelo would be fine babysitting the new little one. Ang stares her down, asks if the baby were left with its mom if she would be 'babysitting'. Stammering, stunned, 'er, no'.

Exactly.

So get them fed and chores done and ready for bed, teeth brushed and our youngest in bed and I decide I'm going to have a hot shower. You have kids? You know how awesome this is.

So here I am. Its great. Stress is disappearing. I'm relaxed. And then the door cracks open and here's my youngest 'Daddy I need to pee' and oh yeah for sure go ahead, just don't flush I'll do that when I'm done.

And she sits on the commode and its nice and quiet and all of a sudden a bit of a grunt and 'Actually (this kid's favourite word) its not a pee, its a big stinky poo'

This is what she says.

And her description is on the money.

I'm fucking dying in here. Don't know if its the steam or what but its just fucking hanging there, soaking into everything. And then:

'Oh Daddy there's poo on the floor. You'll have to wipe that up'

No joke. And then:

' Er, Daddy I think you need to help wipe my bum, its pretty dirty.'

At this point I just turn shower off. I towel down, step out. Sure enough there's a turd on the floor. So I wipe her ass and then pick that up and flush the lot of it and then she looks at me and with an aggrieved tone remarks that I have managed to get her hair wet by dripping on her.

Jenn got home. I informed her that I have decided that when I am old and severely incontinent, that I will be living with our youngest child.

Easy fucking decision, that.
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Hockey, meh I've got nothing. I've got something but will post in a few days, seriously.