Frank Mulligan: No such thing as a sure thing

Wednesday

May 26, 2010 at 12:01 AMMay 26, 2010 at 6:48 AM

I couldn’t make up my mind whether to write a column about indecisiveness. I finally decided to go ahead due to the topic’s importance and after flipping a coin several times. It’s a vital issue because being indecisive can be costly at work, at home, and during those times when you’re neither at work or home.

Frank Mulligan

I couldn’t make up my mind whether to write a column about indecisiveness.

I finally decided to go ahead due to the topic’s importance and after flipping a coin several times.

It’s a vital issue because being indecisive can be costly at work, at home, and during those times when you’re neither at work or home.

The important thing, well, I think it’s the important thing, is that if we can learn to harness our indecisiveness and make it work for us, our lives will be immeasurably enriched. I think.

The first thing you must decide (well, it could be the second or third thing) is whether you’re indecisive.

Take this little test.

Am I indecisive? Check one.

Hell yes.

Hell no.

I’m not sure.

If you checked “I’m not sure” then you may in fact be indecisive. I mean, it’s hard to say with complete certainty since I don’t know you.

If you checked, “Hell yes,” you may be indecisive as well, but then again you seem so decisive about it.

And if you checked “Hell no,” you might still be indecisive but in some sort of denial about it because you feel there’s a stigma attached to being indecisive.

Is there, in fact, a stigma attached to being indecisive?

I’m not sure.

Should there be a stigma attached to being indecisive?

Who am I to say?

But what I can do is offer up another test to determine your indecisiveness level through the presentation of an everyday occurrence in which you are posed with making a decision.

You live in an ancient land and have been accused of a crime. It’s a tough jurisdiction so you are thrown into an arena for possible execution before a packed crowd of summary-justice fans. There are only two doors leading out of the arena, both clearly marked Exit in keeping with the ancient land’s fire codes. It is explained to you there is a fierce tiger that skipped lunch behind one of the doors. Behind the second door is a beautiful woman if you’re a man or a handsome man if you’re a woman whom you must bring to dinner and a show immediately following your disposition. If you pick the tiger you’re considered guilty, pick the date and you’re considered innocent. If you take too long to decide, the court officers let the tiger in because it’s a real crowd-pleaser.

How do you decide which door? Check one.

Flip a coin.

Inquire about the possibility of filing an appeal.

Search the arena crowd for a sympathetic face to see if you can glean the correct choice through their expression.

And what is the correct answer?

I’m not sure.

But that’s not the point. The point is how long did it take you to answer? Check one.

Less than five seconds.

More than five seconds.

Stop pressuring me. I’m thinking. I’m thinking.

Obviously, well, I think it’s obvious, if you checked the third option you may have some issues with indecisiveness, though I’m not completely sure.

Frank Mulligan is an editor in GateHouse Media New England’s Raynham office, and can be reached at fmulliga@cnc.com.