If Jesus taught my students

Then Jesus took his disciples up the mountain, and gathering them
about him, he taught them, saying:
“Blessed are the poor.
“Blessed are the hungry.
“Blessed are those who mourn.
“Blessed are the oppressed. . . . ”

Then Simon Peter said, “Do we have to write this down?”
And Andrew said, “Are we supposed to know this?”
And James said, “I don’t have papyrus with me.”
And Philip said, “Will we have a test on this?”
And Bartholomew said, “Do we have to turn this in?”
And John said, “The other disciples didn’t have to learn this.”
And Matthew said, “Can I be excused?”
And Judas said, “What does this have to do with the real world?”

Then one of the Pharisees who was present asked to see Jesus’ lesson
plan and inquired: “Is this lesson aligned with state standards? Does
it address multiple intelligences? Where are your objectives in the
cognitive domain?”