Author, Author: The HoloDoc writes a holonovel which portrays the crew of Voyager in an unfavourable light.

Oh, the HoloDoc is writing a holonovel. THIS SHOULD BE RIVITING DRAMA! WOOOO.

Pleasebeagoodepisodepleasebeagoodepisode.

Voyager's ready to start with a plan from the last datastream from Star Fleet. They manage to open a com link direct to StarFleet and converse with Barclay and Admiral Paris.

Neelix does a hat drawing. I'd be hesiatant about sticking my hand into Neelix's hat. Kim gets a high number and tries to beg a lower number off HoloDoc. Paris is a really nice guy, and give Kim his chip.

HoloDoc talks to a publisher about publishing his holonovel. Later on Paris asks to see it, and wonder if he could get Captain Proton published (oh, he wrote it himself?) HoloDoc agrees to let him see the holonovel.

Paris runs up the holonovel, and finds it rather disturbing - twisted versions of the Voyager crew. He tells Torres, Kim and Neelix, who wonder whether the program might be a bit disturbing. The others try it out and are likewise alarmed by the depiction of the other crewmembers of the "Vortex". Woooo, eval Tuvok has a beard of evil.

Hehehehe, evil Kim is a hyperchondriac.

Right after seeing it, Janeway calls HoloDoc to the ready room, and they grill him. Over an open flame, almost. He grumbles about the EMHs in the alpha quadrant, who are used for slave labour (Good old Federation values!).

Kim panics when if mother says she's going to write to Janeway.

...

Anyway! HoloDoc founds that Paris has modified his holonovel to make it about Paris. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Hilarious! He bitches to Paris who says his point is made.

Neelix turns up in sick bay to show the HoloDoc the cookbook he's working on, then suggests that HoloDoc make some changes to the program to make it less obvious it's based on Voyager. HoloDoc tells his publisher that he needs to delay the holonovel to make the revisions.

Torres takes a call from her dad, who looks in dire need of a shave and apologises for being a wanker.

Back on Earth, Barclay hands Admiral Paris a holonovel - looks like the publisher went ahead with the distribution. He tells Janeway, and she and the HoloDoc contact the publisher - who says they as the HoloDoc's a hologram, he has no rights.

They discuss what to do next, and decide to bring in an arbitrator to decide whether the HoloDoc has the right of control over the holonovel. Tuvok puts up a good argument, but the arbitrator says that as he's not a real person, it doesn't count.

Gee, this is just the TNG episode where they argue the same thing over Data. But it is one of the better episodes this season.

Seven tries to give Kim a chip so he can finish his coversation with his parents, but he turns it down she she can contact her aunt. She looks mildly uncomfortable.

The arbitrator says he's not going to rule on whether the HoloDoc is a person or not, but rules he has control over his holonovel and it's recalled.

Four months later in the Alpha Quadrant, a couple of EMHs in a mine talk about looking at the holonovel. Teh end.