Being fat and being healthy are not mutually exclusive events. Your eating and physical activity habits are (far) more important predictors of your health than a number on the scales.

Since we live in a time that says our body is an important part of who we are, believing or promoting this idea that fatness is bad is a recipe for body shame and emotional stress – two potent risk factors for overeating, fad dieting, mental illness, suicide and chronic disease.

Helping fat people to practice body and self-acceptance has been proven to enhance physical and mental health more so than dieting does. And no, self-acceptance does not make people eat ‘worse’ – research demonstrates the very opposite is actually true.

The idea that who we are is equal and enough may just be the most powerful tool we have invented to improve the health and wellbeing of our society as a whole.

And this time, the wellbeing of future generations falls on us.

[Note: This post originally claimed, “There is zero scientific evidence that diet and exercise results in significant weight loss in the long-term.” This was an exaggeration of the evidence and thus has been edited accordingly.]

Body, more than anything, you must know you are bothbeautiful and enough. Exactly as you are, in this very moment.

The only words deserving of you come from a place of admiration and appreciation. Disgust, hate and fat have no place for you.

I wholeheartedly believe you are beautiful. Negative judgements – from others or my unconscious self – do not reflect you. I promise another perspective will not be given the power to undermine you.

I know that scales don’t define your worthiness. You are filled with an abundance of warmth, compassion and love. No number changes that.

I accept you will change, and that you will wrinkle, expand and sag. But know this will never change your beauty, nor how I feel about you.

I am aware there will always be slimmer, taller and more defined bodies than you. Yet your beauty is unique, and can never be diminished by the presence of another.

I commit to alwaysbeing grateful for you, as you exist to always support and look after me. My words cannot express how much I admire you, or how thankful I am to have you.

I choose to feelpride and joy when sharing you. I will not hide you, or feel ashamed by you, when being with another. It is a privilege to give them the opportunity to admire and cherish you, exactly as I have learnt to.

Nutritious eating, regular exercise and adequate rest are not only aspirations for you. They are each daily practices. It is both my responsibility, and my privilege, to respect and nourish you.

Yet the greatest gift I can give you is my unconditional love. A love that supports you into becoming the best and healthiest version of you.

Although you may not be there yet, my admiration for you now is possible because I understand you are both a work of art, and a work in progress. Just as I am, too.

The association between weight and health differs between cultures who perceive the same body weights differently.

Yes, a clear association does exist between body weight and mortality for the population.

But how can one point to this data and accurately conclude that a single individual must be of a particular weight if they wish to be healthy? Especially when the association between weight and health is largely influenced by the way that we perceive our bodies.

Healthier, I think, to do more healthy behaviours, than to stress about needing to be a “healthy” weight.

The Biggest Loser is now well over a decade behind the scientific world, which suggests that a better and healthier way to manage your weight in the long-term is, ironically, to stop making it all about your weight.

The desire to be the biggest loser undermines our ability to feel like, and be, a winner.

The presence and tolerance of this discrimination is largely a result of these 3 dangerous myths we believe about our body weight:

1. Overweight and obesity are the direct result of overeating and inactivity. It’s your fault if you’re fat.
2. Being overweight is always unhealthy. For you to be healthy, you need to lose weight.
3. Sustainable weight loss is easy. If you just had the willpower to continue eating better and moving more, the weight will stay off.

Each of these 3 beliefs are very, very wrong.

First, scientific research shows body weight is a highly heritable trait. Our genes directly affect how our appetite and metabolism respond when we overeat, and in this way determine how sensitive we are to gaining weight. Indeed, the heritability of our body weight has been estimated by some to be as high as the heritability of our body height.

Second, weight loss is not a prerequisite for good health. Research shows good health is possible at a wide range of body weights, and that better health can easily be obtained without losing a significant amount of weight. Not only is it more important to live healthily and happily than it is to lose weight, but we are now seeing a growing understanding that dieting and the pursuit of weight loss often causes more problems than it solves.

Third, once we are overweight, our bodies fight hard to keep it. Decades of research shows that almost all persons who lose weight regain it within the next 5 years. Our bodies have a biological set-point that means our weight typically remains stable over the long-term, no matter how much willpower we may have.

We should all be made aware of the myths that we believe about our body weight.

Not just because we are currently buying into a worldview that is wrong. But because we are also currently buying into a worldview that helps to foster a discrimination that’s hurtful and dangerous.

When we are told and believe that how we are is wrong, not enough and less than, we feel lost, hopeless and worthless.

Slowly but surely, it breaks us down and damages the very core of who we are.

It is essential to understand too that harmful words are not helpful. Shaming and belittling others does not create greater motivation or encourage one into eating better or moving more. Indeed, research suggests shame may erase the very part of us that believes we can change and do better.

So, how can we help to reverse this stigma and discrimination?

Together, we can speak up. When we hear someone making comments about someone’s weight, we can tell them that it’s not OK and that it hurts. It doesn’t matter if the person they are talking about is us or someone else. It doesn’t matter if they are in the room or not. And it doesn’t matter if they are talking about someone specific, or just people in general. We can tell them that saying hurtful things is never OK by us.

Together, we can say sorry. If we have ever said something hurtful to someone based on their weight, it’s not too late for us to apologise. We all make mistakes and say things we regret, and it will likely do them the world of good to know that we are sorry and that we care.

And together, we can love ourselves. Research tells us that we judge people in the areas where we are vulnerable to shame, especially those who are doing worse than we’re doing. When we feel good about our body, we lose the need to make others feel bad about theirs. Loving ourselves also gives us the leverage to tell someone we know who has been affected what we really think about them: that they are beautiful, both inside and out.

Doing these things are important and they truly make a difference.

We are all deserving of being loved, and accepted, for exactly the way that we are.