~ Don't Touch the Pipebombs

Monthly Archives: October 2015

I really don’t know how I feel this show right now. I’m fine with the results, and there were some interesting takeaways from the show – but there’s really nothing memorable about this show. I’m not going to be talking about anything on this show a month from now.

John Cena’s U.S. Title Open Challenge was first. And I’m ready for someone new like Samoa Joe or Finn Balor or a returning Daniel Bryan or even just Dean Ambrose would’ve sufficed. But then Zeb Colter comes out and i’m like great, it’s Jack Fucking Swagger. But then it’s Alberto Fucking Del Rio coming back because apparently Lucha Underground wasn’t good enough for him or something and everything just took a turn for the worst. I guess it’s better than Swagger but I’ve never given two shits about Del Rio in WWE and I barely liked him in Lucha Underground either. The match was alright, I guess, but I was just taken out of it from immediate disinterest. Del Rio won clean with one of his pointless kicks which never should’ve taken the title from Dolph at Payback 2013.

Rating: **1/2

Roman Reigns vs. Bray Wyatt inside the Cell was easily the best match of the show. Nice back and forth match with both taking bumps through tables, kendo sticks, and chairs. The chair set up in the cage wall was amusing. Reigns won after no interference so I believe this is all done. That’s fine with me.

Rating: ***1/2

Dudleyz vs. New Day for the tag titles, I honestly didn’t pay much attention to. There was some spot where Kofi tossed Bubba the trombone and pretended Bubba hit him with it, the old Eddie Guerrero spot. But Big E took Bubba out with the trombone when they were going for the 3D, which allowed Kofi to hit the Trouble in Paradise on him for the win.

Rating: **

Charlotte retained the WWE Second Rate Women’s Championship against Nikki Bella in a match I was too busy hating everything commentary had to say to pay much attention to.

Rating: *1/2

Seth Rollins defeated Kane to retain the WWE World Heavyweight Championship and no one cared.

Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar in the Cell was about everything we’ve already seen from them plus a couple of tosses into the cell wall, a lot of blood, doctors trying to wipe their blood off, and a torn off ring mat. Lesnar wins and it’s over. Wyatts take Undertaker away to end the show, which was one of only a few interesting parts of the show.

Rating: **1/2

Nothing on this show worth recommending anyone to go check out. A couple of talking points but nothing memorable.

WWE World Tag Team Championship
(c) New Day (c) vs. The Dudley Boyz
So tell me, why isn’t this a tables match? Listen, I love the New Day and I love the Dudleyz, but the feud, like many others in the company, just refuses to escalate. Once you have a match that ends in DQ, the next match CANNOT be a regular match, it has to NOT have DQ a possibility. It doesn’t necessarily have to be just No DQ, but you can’t have normal match after normal match. That’s not how it (wrestling) works. That’s not how any of this works. So are the Dudleyz going to win, or are we just going to get another damn DQ??

Prediction: The Dudley Boyz

WWE Second Rate Women’s Championship
Charlotte (c) vs. Nikki Bella
So has there really been any build to this specific match since then actually between these two? It seems like the entire thing is on the Paige heel turn which happened and it was awesome and then they almost immediately screwed that up by having her continue to lose to Natalya and Nikki and anyone. Nikki’s beaten some random people. Charlotte lost to a Brie Bella Missile Dropkick, and NO ONE LOSES TO A MISSILE DROPKICK. NO ONE. IT WAS DUMB THE ONLY OTHER TIME IT HAPPENED IN THE FIRST ELIMINATION CHAMBER AT SURVIVOR SERIES 2002, AND IT WAS DUMB NOW. CHARLOTTE.LOST.TO.A.MISSILE.DROPKICK. A.BRIE.BELLA.MISSILE.DROPKICK. A.JOBBER.MISSILE.DROPKICK. THE.CHAMPION.LOST.TO.A.JOBBER.MISSILE.DROPKICK. DO YOU GET IT THAT SHE LOST TO A MISSILE DROPKICK YET? Yea, good. A missile fucking dropkick. Is this just going to be a match or is it going to be a shitshow filled with run ins?

WWE World Heavyweight Championship
Seth Rollins (c) vs. Kane
NO ONE FUCKING CARES. I CARE SO MUCH THAT I PUT IT HALFWAY THROUGH THE PREDICTIONS!

Prediction: Seth Rollins

WWE U.S. Championship
John Cena (c) vs. ???
So who’s it going to be? Dean Ambrose? Daniel Bryan? Let’s pray no Big Show. Finn Balor? Samoa Joe? Regardless of who it is, if Cena’s taking time off, he can’t take the belt with him so he’s losing it.

Prediction: ???

Hell in a Cell Match
Roman Reigns vs. Bray Wyatt
I’d say for as long as their feud has been that it’s worthy of a cell, the problem is that it’s been a boring feud of tag match after tag match after tag match. The Battleground match was good. But once they kept adding people, it’s not really a feud between these two anymore is it? So going back down to one on one now is a bit silly. They literally kept telling the entire story of this feud almost every week on Raw to the point where we (myself included) “Boring’d” Roman a couple Raws ago in Chicago. AND THE BEST PART? A Hell in a Cell Match is to keep Bray’s family out of it, right? RIGHT???? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE THE CELL WILL KEEP BRAY’S CRONIES OUT WHEN THE CELL COULDN’T KEEP BRAY OUT OF IT LAST FUCKING YEAR??? HE SHOWED UP IN THE MIDDLE OF AMBROSE VS ROLLINS AND COST AMBROSE THE MATCH! Oh, and the kicker? MICHAEL COLE EVEN MENTIONED THIS A COUPLE WEEKS AGO! WHAT.THE.FUCK. So this feud will probably continue! Or Reigns will superhuman through all of them!

Prediction: Roman Reigns

Hell in a Cell Match
Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar
You can’t say this feud isn’t worthy of the Cell. It’s too bad they had one in 2002 that will be so much better than this one can ever hope to be. Let’s hope they do the right thing and have Brock win, let’s hope that Taker doesn’t die, and let’s be thankful they’re doing this now and not at WrestleMania 32.

Tonight’s NXT Takeover is in the books, and yet again it’s another very good show. All of the matches were good, but, I will say I would’ve made some different decisions than what was made on it.

The first match was Finn Balor and Samoa Joe vs. Dash and Dawson which was very enjoyable. I thought it was going to be quick as Balor seemed ready to hit the Coup De Grace before he was knocked down. From then it was Dash and Dawson taking out the knee of Finn, cutting off the ring and not allowing him to get to his partner. Naturally he does eventually and Joe cleans house, and while Balor still has a bum knee, he hits the Coup De Grace after the Muscle Buster and it was done.

The second match was Jason Jordan and Chad Gable vs. Baron Corbin and Rhyno, which was also good. Jordan and Gable were both able to almost manhandle Corbin a bit which was a bit of a surprise. But my problem was that Jordan and Gable didn’t win, whom I thought really should have won the tournament. Sure, the end of days out of the tornado DDT was nice, but I wanted Jordan and Gable to win. I don’t really see what a tournament win for Corbin and Rhyno would’ve done for them – except maybe keeping them a team and keeping Corbin in at bursts, so that the weaknesses he does have aren’t exposed. He did turn a corner with me last Takeover, but it’s still a good idea.

Next was Asuka vs. Dana Brooke, which was more like the elongated destruction of Dana Brooke. Asuka reminded me more of a UFC fighter because of all her strikes – I’m not sure I’ve seen a woman wrestler hit strikes quite like it. And she used an array of submissions too.

Tyler Breeze vs. Apollo Crews was a very good match – definitely the best of Crews’ short NXT career so far. But I really would’ve had Breeze go over here even despite that. Breeze really needs somewhere to go and losing isn’t it. I did like the new powerbomb finisher of Crews though.

Finn Balor and Samoa Joe vs. Baron Corbin and Rhyno was also good, but my ideal way of the Balor/Joe split wasn’t possible because Corbin and Rhyno being their opponents killed that. I felt they didn’t make this tournament to give it to Corbin and Rhyno, so I knew the faces were winning. I didn’t mind the knee injury angle – it’s an easy way to go with tension between the two after it’s all over if they lose because of it. But that’s not it. They’d already had Joe make mentions of Finn’s title leading up to this, and I kind of would’ve liked to see Joe get so caught up in winning this match that he goes and grabs the NXT Title and tries to hit an opponent with it, Finn tries to stop him but Joe ends up knocking Finn out with it by mistake, leading to the loss. And their story could go from there. But Balor and Joe win after Muscle Buster and Coup De Grace, and no turn was done in the celebration. But I feel like that was because it was done to honor Dusty – if it was just a tournament for a tournament’s sake, I’m sure there’d be a turn. But since it was for Dusty it didn’t happen.

And finally, Sasha Banks vs. Bayley for the NXT Women’s Championship in a 30 Minute Ironwoman match. It was awesome. Now, it wasn’t as amazing as their first match which I expected in terms of the whole, overall story of Bayley winning the title. But it was amazing in different ways. I kind of didn’t like the beginning because the clock ran for two minutes while the crowd just chanted that it was awesome. And the cover after cover part in the beginning was iffy. But once it got going it was great. I loved Sasha really heeling it up and making Bayley Superfan Izzy cry. It was great. Both of them got two falls and then Bayley got a submission win with three seconds left to retain the title. I don’t like how they end Ironman/Ironwoman matches like that, though. I wanted overtime. But it was great, go watch it!

Finally some good wrestling that I’m excited for. Hurray! This should definitely be an interesting show – some have called it a “B” show because there’s no world title match and the women getting to go on last, while great, isn’t as important as it they’re making it because there’s no NXT Title match – that they’re going on last is a result of the NXT Champion being in the tag tournament. Understandable, but I still don’t think that’s true, really. That being said, this was supposed to be the first Takeover I get to watch live, then the NHL put the Blackhawks’ opening game of the season on the same night, at the same time, which is only just as important because it’s a banner raising ceremony. Then the Cubs managed to make the playoffs in the Wild Card game, which was put on the same night, at the same time – and how many times do the Cubs make the playoffs, even if it’s only for one game? And then someone put the season premiere of Arrow on the same night, at the same time. Ok, that one gets dvr’ed without a problem. I’m seriously having trouble deciding what to watch first. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME??????

Asuka vs. Dana Brooke
Much like with any new talent’s debut match, I look forward to seeing what Asuka can do. I wish this was against Emma though and not Dana Brooke, so she at least had a competent opponent to work with.

Prediction: Asuka

Apollo Crews vs. Tyler Breeze
This match is just kind of happening. Just once I’d like them to give Breeze a win. I don’t think he’s won a match at Takeover since Takeover II last May. Certainly this will be good, I just hope for better things for both.

Prediction: Apollo Crews

Dusty Classic Semifinals and Finals
Match 1: Finn Balor and Samoa Joe vs. Dash and Dawson
Match 2: Jason Jordan and Chad Gable vs. Baron Corbin and Rhyno
Doing these all together because they all have ties to each other. It’s really a surprise to me how some of this has turned out – mainly that Dash and Dawson made it to the semifinals. You’d think the Vaudevillains and/or Blake and Murphy would make it but nope. I’d have liked a tag title match between them on the show too. And no Enzo and Cass either. Oh well. I’m looking forward to how it all turns out – I feel like the most likely winners of the first to matches will be Balor and Joe and Jordan and Gable, and I expect Jordan and Gable to win the whole thing. But I could see Dash and Dawson winning too because they beat the Vaudevillains leading up to this. Obviously they’re leading to Balor vs. Joe at the next show, and this will be a good way to launch that. I’m not sure one would turn on the other during the match – it’s possible, but I wouldn’t guarantee it. I feel it’ll happen either after the finals is over and they lose, or more likely just in the next few weeks.

30 Minute Ironwoman Match for the NXT Women’s Championship
Bayley (c) vs. Sasha BanksEverything about this is awesome. Their first match was the best match of the year, and even if it doesn’t exactly live up to it for what the story was and the atmosphere, the match itself should be awesome. Odds of me crying for the fourth straight time because of an NXT women’s match are high. (And possibly the last time since most of the main four are on Raw and others they’re pushing now are Dana Brooke and Eva Marie so….)