I come to you with this question after having many recent discussions with a friend about her current boyfriend. He’s that new-agey type (ugh) who thinks he’s soooo spiritually enlightened. Vom. Anyway, the guy is a total downer. He doesn’t support my friend at all, and it is almost like his existence depends on telling her he’s her “teacher” (I’m not joking).

I’m telling her about this book she should read as an introduction to feminism and she tells me, “John would laugh at me so hard if I read a book on feminism.” uh oh. I asked her why and she goes into this clusterfuck about how John thinks men and women are essentially different, they’re not equal, “mother earth” didn’t make men and women to be equal, and all other kinds of bullshit.

This conversation left me flustered and wanting to tell my friends: don’t date people who don’t identify as feminists! I quickly came to realize that this is more complicated than it appears. I then wonder, how much is the act of identifying a feminist worth? To me, it appears to be a lot. Yet I can think of many reasons why people may falter to identify.

So I still wonder, and haven’t been able to answer this question, should we only date people who identify as feminists?

Welcome to Feminism With Your Coffee. If anyone is reading this, I am extremely surprised. This blog is all about learning and growing. I have identified as a feminist since the eighth grade but now, as I enter my senior year in college, I have come to truly realize just how much my feminism grows and evolves. By conversing with other feminists and listening to other feminists, my feminism has grown as I have. Sometimes I make mistakes (read: a lot of times). This blog is a way for me to (hopefully!) enter a dialogue with other feminists so that we can learn from each other.

I was recently reminded of a quote by Emma Goldman “If I can’t dance, I don’t want to be part of your revolution.” I have come up with the term for myself, “If-I-Can’t-Dance-Feminism.” I think I know what it means to me, but just like many other things, I am sure it will constantly be changing for me.