Bill Roache had sex with same 1,000 women as Mick Hucknall

CORONATION Street actor Bill Roache and Simply Red frontman Mick Hucknall have bedded the same 1,000 women, it has been confirmed.

In one sense, they are equally bad, while in another Hucknall is much, much worse

After comparing notes, the two Northern stars realised they shared an identical list of easily available women with absolutely no self-esteem.

Meeting in the bar of Manchester’s upmarket Lowry Hotel, the Thatcherite cardigan and the personification of ginger ticked off their conquests with a sense of increasing panic before falling into a sombre silence.

Roache said: “I was absolutely 100% sure I was irresistible. This has come as something of a shock.”

Hucknall added: “I was absolutely 100% sure I was irresistible. This has come as something of a shock.

“It will be a bit like opening a bottle of three week-old milk, but I really think we both need to compare notes with Paddy McGuinness. And, of course, Noel Edmonds.”

Helen Archer, from Salford, who has slept with both men, said: “I have a condition called ‘mediocraphilia’.

“I seek out and then debase myself with men who are just not good enough.”

She added: “Interestingly, both Roache and Hucknall gave me their addresses so that I could send them a thank-you card.”