Elwood Blues:
I'm thinking of putting the band back together. Maybe you could join us.

Cab Chamberlain:
I'm a commander in the Illinois State Police, and I enjoy my job. You *waltz* in here telling me I have a dead, white criminal brother, who was in a band which, the last time they played anywhere, were charged with

Cab Chamberlain:
felonious motor vehicle assault, over SEVEN HUNDRED violations of the highway traffic act and DAMAGES, both public and private, IN EXCESS OF $24,000,000 and *YOU* ARE ASKING *ME* IF I WANT TO JOIN THIS BAND?

Mother Mary Stigmata:
Before Curtis came to us at St. Helen of the Blessed Shroud he had a musical group that toured the joints of the Mid West. In one town Curtis had an affair... with a married woman.

Elwood Blues:
Turn your backs now and you snuff out the fragile candles of Blues, R&B and Soul, and when those flames flicker and expire, the light of the world is extinguished because the music which has moved mankind through seven decades leading to the millennium will whither and die on the vine of abandonment and neglect.

[he walks off, followed by Buster, Mack and then the rest of the band]

Buster Blues:
You're not the Elwood Blues I know. The Elwood Blues I know once said that no pharmaceutical product could ever equal the rush you get when the band hits that groove; the people are dancin', and shoutin', and swayin'; and the house is rockin'!

Robertson:
Son... it's okay to be nervous, okay? Uh... there's enough explosives in that boat to blow up every post office in this country, you know? But no one knows we're here, no one knows our plans.

Mighty Mack:
[the Bluesmobile comes up out of the water, bringing with it their boat, which rests on top of the car]
Hey, yous guys havin' a picnic?

Robertson:
[the soldiers cock their weapons and point them at the Bluesmobile]
Don't shoot, you might hit the boat!

Robertson:
That's the International Jewish Communist Conspiracy in action, people! One of their spy satellite's must have picked up our location... KILL THEM!

[the soldiers open fire on the Bluesmobile with the boat on top of it, but as the car drives away, it hits a divot which causes the boat to be thrown up into the air... It regretably lands on Robertson]

Elwood Blues:
Uh, ma'am, we're the Blues Brothers. We do blues, rhythm & blues, jazz, funk, soul. We can handle rock, pop, country, heavy metal, fusion, hip hop, rap, Motown, operetta, show tunes. In fact, we've even been called upon, on occasion, to do a polka! However Caribbean is a type of music, I regret to say, which has not been, is simply not, nor will ever be a part of this band's repertoire.

Elwood Blues:
These are unsophisticated men. They only respond to fear and the draw of lucre. We elicit this by using iconographic symbols, and psychological intimidation. The way we look together presents a uniform image of strength and organization. Don't say anything. Look mean. No smiling.