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Customer Reviews

Steve B.

San Francisco, CA

June 17, 2014

Last weekend we were at Plumas Pines golf course in Graeagle California. We were the second foursome who was going to tee, and before the tee-off there was a putting contest. It is like 8:30 in the morning – I’m out watching the foursome in front of us navigate the putting contest, trying to learn the angles. Meanwhile, on the loudspeaker is the bored voice of the announcer, telling everyone the rules of the tournament, then he goes on to discuss the putting contest. In the middle of this I hear “…Don’t forget to go to the putting green HOLY SHIT, LOOK AT THOSE PANTS!! “, followed by a “ I’ve never seen anything like that, oh, well… back to the rules… yeah go to the putting green, you can’t miss where it is right now…“
I looked around and wasn’t sure who he was talking about for all of 2 seconds. Could be that my Betabrand pants left an impression. Throughout the weekend I was asked no less than 30 times where the heck I found such pants. And a disturbing number of people wanted to feel them and were amazed at how light they were.
Thanks for making such flexible and comfortable golf pants! (even though you probably never intended for them to be golf pants

Men's Disco-Ball Pants

Scientifically Validated Party Pants

We certify that every pair of Disco Pants is made from 100% pure disconium — the rarest, shiniest substance in the known universe.

Don't be fooled by synthetic knockoffs made from cubic disconium.

And stay clear of clothiers who insist that Disconite™ Pants are equally lustrous. Sure, they sparkle, but they also smell like rotten octopus.

Why are Disco Pants so special? Because genuine disconium ore is found in only one place on Earth: an icy subterranean cavern deep beneath the most remote corner of Antarctica. While we can't divulge details of our mining operation, rest assured that the thousands of Emperor Penguins in our employ are well-fed and receive regular bathroom and cigarette breaks. Here's some more important information:

Disconium is the 120th element on the periodic table. It's heavier than neon, funkier than palladium, and significantly sexier than Einsteinium.

When you wear Disco Pants, stone-age tribesmen may worship you as their omnipotent sun-god. Don't disappoint them.

The magnetic properties of these trousers increase exponentially in Las Vegas, creating an irresistible attraction between you and nearby roulette wheels, stripper poles, and strippers with especially iron-rich blood.

If you find yourself under attack by bloodthirsty alien invaders, relax. Disconium fabric has been engineered to repel all but the most powerful laser and photon blasts. (Disclaimer: Giant interstellar crustaceans will still be able to tear your legs asunder with their fearsome claws.)

Questions? If there's anything else you want to know about this product, please contact us.

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