A couple weeks ago we got together with an old friend whom we had not seen in some while. She made a huge point of remarking that my appearance had not changed at all, which I dismissed as a kindly untruth, sweet but surely very far from being accurate.

It turns out she was closer to the truth than I had guessed. I am speaking about Man Alive! at The 21 Convention in August, and I had to come up with a head shot for the event.

This is me on April 15, 2001, the photo I’ve used at BloodhoundBlog since its inception:

This is me on July 9, 2012, a week ago today:

A little more weight on me, and a little jowlier, but not much difference. The set of my features is a constant, a reflection of the world I see outside my mind.

Your mama told you, when you glared and grimaced at her, that your face would freeze like that, but neither one of you knew she was right: The facial expressions we wear most often – habituated Mothertongue emotional reactions – inscribe themselves into our skin.

We listed an actual equity sale on Friday, and we’re getting ready to do another one Friday next. I’m waiting right now to get the signed contract on a buyer side, also an equity sale. That much is good, since we have fared very poorly in ForeclosureWorld. But I just lost a buyer side that we need very badly, and I have not had any confidence that we can hold onto our own home for the past four years. Desdemona died, Shyly died, and Odysseus is making his last orbit around the sun. I’ve had family shit, and Cathy lost her father and is slowly losing her mother.

What does all this have to do with you? If you don’t like the face you see reflected back to you in the mirror, try looking for a world you like better outside your mind: The map to the world you expect to discover every day is written in the lines of your face.

4 Comments so far

You have hit the nail on the head again(per usual). I really relate to the point of you have been thinking that you will not hold on to your house the past 4 years.Last year I had 1, count that again? 1 closing all year, that 1 was at the begining of the year. Towards the end of the year I sat with my wife eating dinner. I tried to muscle in the fact that this Real Estate venture needed some thought, as in I might have to find a REAL job. My wife did not even blink, that cute petite little flame just kept on eating as I ranted on. Then she paused, and said what I will never turn off in my mind: “I don’t know who you are, but MY husband doesn’t talk like that…HE is not a quitter.”
The lines on my face are there to remind me that I am not through, it aint over until “I” win.
Have a great evening

“For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin–real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way; something to be gotten though first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life, this perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So treasure every moment you have and remember that time waits for no one. Happiness is a journey, not a destination.” – Fr. Alfred D’Souza

Working with buyers in the Phoenix market is all but impossible right now. Full-price, all cash, as-is, instaclose and you still may not get the house — or even a counter-offer. But the deal I thought was dead came back to life today — which only goes to show you never can tell. 😉

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