'Dancing' results: Who's gonna drive you home?

Is this, then, what we have to look forward to when American Idolexpands its results show to an hour in a couple of weeks? A bloated, heavily padded confection like the Dancing with the Stars results?

I kind of like the Dancing performance shows, a little bit in spite of myself. You can sort of sit back and just surrender to the unabashed kitschiness of the whole thing -- the hotel-bar musical arrangements, the yards and yards of sequins, Bruno.

But the results shows, they're a chore. Even with a musical performance (Dionne Warwick), a dance by all the pros, Chuck Woolery and various other audience members weighing in on the competition and, you know, the actual results, there was still a huge amount of air in Tuesday's hour (to say nothing of the 60-minute recap show that preceded it).

And, oh yeah, about those results: Despite doing a very serviceable mambo Monday night, Paulina Porizkova, youngest ever SI swimsuit issue cover girl and wife or Cars singer Ric Ocasek, was the first one sent home. Viewers also put former Miss USA Shandi Finnessey in the bottom two.

They weren't, to my untrained eye, the two worst dancers in this year's competition (though no one this time around seems egregiously bad). They were, however, unmemorable, which as we see every year over on AI, is often a worse sin.

Porizkova, though, seemed to have a nice sense of humor about herself, and yeah, she looks pretty darn good at 41. So I'd rather she stuck around another week or two. But now if someone asks you what she has in common with Trista Sutter, Kenny Mayne and Tucker Carlson, you'll have your answer at the ready.

Sorry to see Paulina go? And could you make it through that whole hour without nodding off?