Rapture bike, are you ready?

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According to some bishop in New York, the rapture is scheduled to begin this Saturday at 6pm.

I figure I need to rethink my transport in the post-apocalyptic world. So, I reckon I've already got a good base model to begin with and that a few minor mods are all that's needed to get the perfect rapture bike.

I need some help deciding how to get it sorted with the following mods:

1) Tyres, standard tyres probably won't do for the expected rise of the underworld, I need something that will gain traction and hold up when riding across rivers off deadly hot magma and whatever else the underworld is likely to throw in my way. What is there on the market that would handle this?

2) Fuel, with the lack of ideal fuel, the XR is probably gonna have to get used to a diet of petrol, kerosene, LPG, top shelf and whatever else I can find in the wasteland. Any after market carbs that sort this out? Or do I need to go EFI with pre-programmed fueling maps.

3) Bash plate, given that I will have to run down demon spawn, it's gonna have to be pretty aggressive. I'm thinking blades and stuff. Anything on the market?Or do I got to go custom made?

4) Arsenal, a holster down the forks for a sawn-off shotty. Anything else?

Let me know what you think and also how you guys are preparing, I would like to steal some ideas.

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I'm just trying to find out how I'm going to take my bike to heaven with me. I'm going to ride all Sat night and hope that the man above beams me and the bike up by mistake! If that doesn't happen then hopefully they have the new WR450F with fuel injection up there!

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1) Tyres, standard tyres probably won't do for the expected rise of the underworld, I need something that will gain traction and hold up when riding across rivers off deadly hot magma and whatever else the underworld is likely to throw in my way. What is there on the market that would handle this?

IRC volcanduro sounds about right.

2) Fuel, with the lack of ideal fuel, the XR is probably gonna have to get used to a diet of petrol, kerosene, LPG, top shelf and whatever else I can find in the wasteland. Any after market carbs that sort this out? Or do I need to go EFI with pre-programmed fueling maps.

Efi with separate maps

3) Bash plate, given that I will have to run down demon spawn, it's gonna have to be pretty aggressive. I'm thinking blades and stuff. Anything on the market?Or do I got to go custom made?

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I think that XR's are pretty much rapture ready. My dad can run ahead and pop some guys off with the old 870. Meanwhile I'll be in the back of "Super Dodge" poppin' guys off with my .308 500 yards out. Sounds like a good time to me.

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You know you could go out and spend like crazy and max out the credit cards and then after the "Rapture" date passes sue the hell (pun intended) out of these high profile religious figures for making you believe the end is here and you was not expecting to have to pay back all the money......they are having a sale on the 450EXC's at the local KTM dealer.

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You know you could go out and spend like crazy and max out the credit cards and then after the "Rapture" date passes sue the hell (pun intended) out of these high profile religious figures for making you believe the end is here and you was not expecting to have to pay back all the money......they are having a sale on the 450EXC's at the local KTM dealer.

You sir are a freakin genius.

Seriously, how could that not work? Plus, the guys have a $100mil, I'm sure a spare $10k in damages would be easy to pay out

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You know you could go out and spend like crazy and max out the credit cards and then after the "Rapture" date passes sue the hell (pun intended) out of these high profile religious figures for making you believe the end is here and you was not expecting to have to pay back all the money......they are having a sale on the 450EXC's at the local KTM dealer.

Unfortunately he would probably win. Gotta love the states. Judges should be disbarred for letting shit like this in the court room