Amateur work. Really, I look back at those pieces, and it’s a wonder I managed to survive without incurring public shame, pulmonary thrombosis, or decades worth Michael Alig-style incarceration. It’s been a hard road back to top journalistic form for Randall – I had to dry out, get clean, and attend a forty day meditation and fasting with my spiritual guru Vitamin Water Zero – but now I’m back on top, and ready to bring you all the glitz and glamor from Vienna 2012.

This year, not only are the world’s top baristas meeting up in the beautiful city of Vienna, but Australian based sweetener company and Sweet Fantasy party planners Natvia is sending eight eager young scamps who have all been busy beavers garnering votes, love, and attention. You know, it’s not too late to register.

Anyway, the topic of my career resurgence is on everyone’s palate. Why, just the other day I was chatting with Korean barista superstar champion HyunSun Choi, over a light brunch of veal sweet breads, nasturtium buttermilk, and cardamom salts. The conversation naturally turned from designer 20 carat ruby gicleur valves to me. “Will you be covering the Sweet Fantasy party again this year, Randall?” Oh my dear HyunSun, how could anyone say no to you? “Of course I shall, HyunSun. Of course I shall.”

Besides, it has recently come to my attention that I love a soirée. In a dream-fugue, the vision struck me: I saw myself toasting champagne with the President of the SCAE, Ernesto Illy’s reanimated head, and the new SCAA membership coordinator Annette Nylander. Together, we danced and played through the evening. You might be wondering, “Randall, what were you wearing in this dream?” It was a simple copper lamé pantsuit from the fall line by Vivienne Westwood, paired with a portafilter clutch and rattan French Bulldog puppy.

But really, it is the joy I bring to others that most inspires. There was something in Ernesto’s furrowed brow that told me, “Yes. This is who you are.” Rubbing shoulders with Tim Schilling and Tumi Farrar, snacking on grilled beef tongue with Tunisian peppercorn agrodolce, going heel-to-heel with Jimmy Hoffmann and her plus one, sipping Nieri of Kenya, by Tim Wendelboe. Randall has arrived.

So I’ll be there, reporting live from Natvia’s Sweet Fantasy party, styled by Dior, flavored by DolcePump, and glowing from an intensive six day Hydro-Cleanse. Just shut the doors to our party van from the outside, honey. What’s that? You say you don’t want to be left out? Well, there’s always room for one more…