Today's symptoms: BM that was thick and heavy and stinky and hard to pass. YUCKY STUFF!! Ewwwww!, more energy today. Feel good. No headache or chest stuff. Tiny bit of lightheaded/dizziness. I also have a feeling I don't recognize. I don't feel tired, or sick, or weak as I've known it. It must be a fasting feeling? The closest feeling I could compare it to would be weak? But it's not quite right. Strange, I know?

I had SO much energy today! I cleaned the house, did 3 loads of laundry, shopped for my husband (it's our anniversary today!)made dinner, and enjoyed the Springtime sunshine!

Downside.. still thinking about bread! It doesn't help when I have to make cooked meals for my family! My sense of smell has increased because I can seriously tell what everybody is eating in my neighborhood! I am REALLY hoping that all of these cravings will go away!I bought a new raw un-cook book today called The Art of Raw Foods, with recipes that I can't wait to try! I need to overcome the emotional attachments to cooked foods. Fasting is really stripping me down to the core of my emotions and facing the truth of my addictions and need to eat. I'm staring them straight in the face.

I know that if I quit and go back to my old eating habits I will have to deal with high cholesterol, whatever is on my labia, being overweight, constantly focusing on ME all the time what with all of my health PROBLEMS which place a demand on my family and takes time away from their lives, and live a life of sickness, pain and misery. I may be happy when I eat. But ONLY while I eat. Do I want to live a life where my joy comes from satisfying my appetites? Not feeling good enough to serve. Not feeling good enough to fulfill my goals. Not being here for my family and seeing my grandchildren??

On the other hand, God willing. If I eat a raw diet I will feel good, be healthy, look good, and most likely live a long unmedicated, unoperated on life. FREE from chemical food addictions and depression. All the while living life to it's full potential being able to fulfill my dreams, enjoy my posterity and serve the Lord.

Which one sounds better? Hmm? No brainer!

I keep reminding myself during these times of temptation that I've eating all that stuff already. I've literally had my fill! I know it tastes good. But it has never made me FEEL good! And definitely not the way raw food makes me feel. So why is it so hard? Why when I know the difference, why is it so dang hard to let go of?? Seriously???!!

I keep repeating in my mind. "The definition of insanity is Doing the same things over and over again expecting a different result." Well, I am now choosing to do something different to get the promised result. Health. Freedom from addictions. I want to heal. I will heal. I am healing.