And you can't stop me. We are not but floating heads! You cannot arrest us! Im not going to be around much probably until after my birthday. September 8. If I am around my entries will be very insane. Shut up. I will do whatever the fuck I want with this journal, after all it's mine. I dont think I can post anymore because none of you understand what I am going through. What I want to post about. You all just ask me if I am sad. And Im sorry, but that makes things worse. I need to speak with Amanda right now and get some bed rest. I ask you not to post "I hope you feel better" because that will only piss me off more. You have done nothing wrong, there's something wrong with me not you.

FURTHERMORE MY FUCKING FUNERAL IS ON HAITUS BECAUSE I AM UNABLE TO SANELY HAVE IT BUT IT WILL BE HELD IN THE NEAR FUTURE! TILL THEN HAVE A MORBIDLY FUN TIME I WILL MISS YOU MUCH......OR WILL I? SEE THATS ONE OF THOSE THINGS WHERE YOURE GOING TO ASK ME IF IM SAD. IM NOT. IM JUST TIRED AND AFRAID THAT I CANT CARRY MY CURRENT LOAD.

Current Mood:shhhhhhhut up for a bit!

Current Music: That song about the children of the earth, sun, and moon

So I switched back to my old Davey-con. I like it better. Check out the frame where Jade is all up in Davey! S'hot. Soon I will switch to Brian Molko. Anyways, I just wanted to say I WANT TO GO TO THE POOL WITH AMANDA! My mom is being mean and not letting me! I am going tommorow wether she likes it or not!

Im so fucking tired. I hate sleep. It happend again, but this time I woke up crying. I had another Diana dream. I am sick of these! This was worse than the others. Why? Cause we were friends again. Like we used to be. It's still fresh in my brain.

I had snuck into her house for some reason or another, I was looking for something. I can't remember what though. I was upstairs in her kitchen and I heard her mom and out of like pure fucking intinct ran out and into Dianas room.(smart, I know) And she was in there. And I had known she would be. I think I was counting on it. And she wasn't mad, she had a...I want to say helpless look in her eyes. Like she didn't know what to do. Not with me, but herself. And it's strange. So we were talking and laughing, we were friends again. And I liked it. Her step dad even asked me for help with a card. But then her mom came in and she pankicked and I panicked and Diana panicked so I ran out of the house. And then I woke up and was crying....

Here's a song. I like Theres No "I" in Team better but this is a good song too.

Your lipstick, his collar.. don't bother Angel I know exactly what goes on

When everything you'll get is everything that you've wanted, princess (well which would you prefer) My finger on the trigger, or (me face down, down across your floor) Me face down, down across your floor (me face down, down across your floor) Well just so long as this thing's loaded

And will you tell all your friends you've got your gun to my head This all was only wishful thinkin, this all was only wishful thinkin And will you tell all your friends you've got your gun to my head This all was only wishful thinkin, this all was only wishful thinkin let's go...

Don't bother trying to explain Angel I know exactly what goes on when you're on and How about I'm outside of your window (how about I'm outside of your window) Watchin him keep the details covered You're such a sucker (you're such a sucker) for a sweet talker, yeah

And will you tell all your friends you've got your gun to my head This all was only wishful thinkin, this all was only wishful thinkin (the only thing that I regret is that I, I never let you hold me back) And will you tell all your friends you've got your gun to my head This all was only wishful thinkin, this all was only wishful thinkin

Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins I will never ask if you don't ever tell me I know you well enough to know you never loved me Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins I will never ask if you don't ever tell me I know you well enough to know you never loved me Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins I will never ask if you don't ever tell me I know you well enough to know...

Why can't I feel anything from anyone other than you? Why can't I feel anything from anyone other than you?

And all of this was all your fault And all of this

(I stay jealous) I stay wrecked and jealous for this, for this simple reason I just need to keep you in mind as something larger than life (she'll destroy us all before she's through and find a way to blame somebody else) I stay wrecked and jealous for this, for this simple reason I just need to keep you in mind as something larger than life (she'll destroy us all before she's through and find a way to blame somebody else) I stay wrecked and jealous for this, for this simple reason I just need to keep you in mind as something larger than life!

Current Mood:bored

Current Music: Cute without the "E" (cut from the team)-Taking Back Sunday

So right now I am all dolled up and hoping to go somewhere. I got a compliment this morning!

QUOTE: You look like a boy in drag...

Hahaha! Victory! Anyways...yeah my baby brother Alec said that. So Blake is out of ICU. He's not good but its a good thing in his situation my mom says. She is going up to PA with Ted this weekend. ALL WEEKEND. She will be gone! YES! Amanda, we must do something to celebrate! Anyways, if you could pass along to Jessi that the auction is I THINK the 20th. I may not be going. So last night was the first night in a couple of months that I have slept without any music on. And usually I leave like AFI "Shut your mouth and open your eyes" on. Nothing quiet. I had SUCH a hard time getting to sleep! So I sewed. Your shirt is coming along nicely Amanda. The stiching is very good on this one. Do you want the straps to cross like the lace? I will do that. Yep. How did your trip to the bank go? What would you have done if I actually remember that number? Hahaha, I would have had acess to your fun. ^_^ Oh and what fun I would have...(picture time will be put in in an hour)

Ao I just saw this picture in a persons signature on gaia that said dominant. It made me think of two things.1.) the current book I am reading: Narcissus in Chains2.) would I be a dominant or a submisiveSo I realized that it is a totally awsome book so far (they are currently just ariving at the Lunar Par or whatever it is) and that I would so totally be a submisive when it comes to like the S&M and what not.(funny Im a virgin) Dominance is not my thing. Hahaha! I just----omg, my mom is coming home. I must go. I am not suposed to be on the internet. Meheh. I will continue this discussion with my estemed colleuge later.

So I am posting for the third time. But this time I only wish to express the following:

AMANDAS DRESS IS SHRINKING!

I cut the fabric and all, using the clothe of hers I have for a guesstimate size.(the fabric is stretchy so its all good) But then it like shrunnk to half of that size. I don't know what happened. So now I will have to make your dress out of the baby blanket material. It will be different but I think it will look good on you. Nice for summer. Aaanyways, I called you last night but you were at the pool. *with Adam? hehehehehh* Did you have fun? Oh my gosh this is so sad. Damians cousin Blake, he races motorcycles like Donny, he hada crash. He messed up like a c4 vertabrae and broke his neck. He's going in and out ofconciousnous and will have to wear a halo after he gets out of ICU. Thats so sad, I really hope he is okay. <=( My mom said worse has happened to him but still, it's pretty bad. That's all for now, I will probably post again in an hour.