it's now 1 week, 2 days 2 hours 39 mins since my last cigarette. God, it's been hard. To be honest the only thing that has kept me going is the thought of ever having to do week one again. And, this is me on champix, lord knows what it would be like without. I don't know because I've never got this far before without being pregnant. I always went off the things when I was pregnant so that time was a piece of cake, I have no idea why I started again after the kids were born, stupid.

The cravings are easing up now, the habit is dying. I can now sit in the office without crying. And, only once or twice have I found myself puffing on a biro during the past couple of days. I still know that I am very much an addicted smoker though. it would take nothing for me to go back to it. If someone offered me one I would have a hard time saying no (although I would). I can still feel the addiction there as if we are playing a game. It's given up shouting and screaming at me day and night, now it's just sitting there quietly trying to psych me out, waiting for me to fail. But, I never ever ever want to go through that first week again. never.

So, that's my update, I hope you are all doing ok. Hang in there because even though it feels like more than you can cope with sometimes, you can cope. I read on the woofmang blog a thing where kevin said that if he couldn't resolve not to smoke for a whole day he would say, I will not smoke for 6 hours, if 6 hours was too long, make it one, if one was too long make it 5 minutes. i've done that lots, during the heavy awful craves when I have been sobbing and physically aching to smoke, I have told myself I won't smoke for the next 5 minutes. If the crave is still there at the end of 5 minutes I repeat, I've got through 5 minutes I will not smoke for the next 5 and so on. One evening I had to substitute with a jar of nutella and a teaspoon (oops) the nutella lost :rolleyes:.

coal, getting through the first 4 days was hell for me. You've done that so huge congrats, you are well on the way.

To be honest I don't really feel as if I've achieved anything really. I still feel a bit like I do when i go on one of my diets. I am denying myself something and sitting waiting for results. Now, I know I'm not denying myself anything really other than a slow and painful death. But, I am missing something real and I don't really know what to do about it.

I've realised over the last few days that I miss the me time. I miss pausing for a little while, making a cup of tea, sitting down, and generally having a break. The obvious thing to say is, well just have a cup of tea, sit for a moment or two anyway. But it just doesn't happen. I had this little inbuilt alarm clock that would tell me I needed to stop for a smoke, so the rest went along with it. Without the urge to smoke, or at least one I can listen to, I'm not pausing for a while during the day and I'm starting to resent not having the little me moments.

Thanks for the link margareth that was really helpful. I do like that site there is a ton of great stuff on there and just going there to read a bit has given me the fight to get through more than a few moments when I really felt like giving up. Chrissie, you are so right, know your enemy I will remember that quote. I am building up quite a little collection of those.

I have also been on that link that Margaret recommended and found it really interesting. Today is my first non-smoking day (I'm on Champix) and all I can think about is the uphill struggle I have in front of me. One day feels like nothing - I want to be at one month!

I have also been on that link that Margaret recommended and found it really interesting. Today is my first non-smoking day (I'm on Champix) and all I can think about is the uphill struggle I have in front of me. One day feels like nothing - I want to be at one month!

Well, TTFN

well done on getting through day one totty. I really did fing the first week awful, but you might not. Loads of people breeze through it on champix. I am lucky that I don't really have any side effects from the tablets other than a moment of feeling sick in the morning, less than a couple of minutes really. But I really don't seem to be having the lack of cravings other people report. it does go to show how we are all different. I really hope you get through the first week and all of the rest which follow without any problems at all.

I actually thought today how well I was feeling, how easy this week was compared to last week. I went the whole day not in the least bit bothered, it almost felt as if I'd never smoked.

All of a sudden tonight a crave has hit me. So far it has been full on for over an hour, it's that ache in the chest and throat thing, that's what I get anyway, an actual physical ache. Three minutes per crave??? I must have had 20 one on top of the other. I've actually just taken a sleeping tablet so I can go to sleep and get through it that way.

I can honestly say the only 2 things which are getting me through this without caving in are both fears. Firstly fear that I've found this so hard for a lot of the time that I would really struggle to set another quit date. But the biggest one is the fear that I will one day look back and think, if only I'd have stayed quit then, I wouldn't be dying now. I can actually see myself sitting in a hospital bed, drips, no hair, stick thin and white as a sheet. I can hear myself thinking, stopping smoking is nothing compared to this pain, what a total idiot I was, I threw my life away for nothing and now I have to suffer all sorts of real pain and suffering just to try and claw back a few extra weeks.

and with that, the crave is passing. Thanks for letting me get it out, writing that down really helped.