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IT’S … A BOB’S BURGERS SPEC SCRIPT!

Shut up all you people who have like, created human life and shoved actual babies out of your platinum vagines! I don’t want to hear about it! Because I just spent a month in labor with a spec script and THE BIRTHING PROCESS WAS EXHAUSTING. Someone get me a push present!

You are of course all required to read it. And if happen to see any problems before tomorrow night you can tell me, otherwise please never raise them and just tell me you think it is teeeerrific.

This has been and incredibly fun and also incredibly challenging process, and I can’t tell y’all how much your encouragement and support has powered me forward (and how sorry I am for skipping events all month and being such a hermit curmudgeon. A her-mudgeon, perhaps?). Out of respect for her privacy I won’t name the gal who has been the best reader I could ever hope for…. but I owe her a burger, big time.

Anyway, one more hurdle before my Nickelodeon fellowship app is in (“short” bio, ugh). But in the meantime, ISN’T MY BABY BEAUTIFUL?

BTW I’d be negligent if I didn’t shamelessly ask if anyone knows anyone who knows anyone who has any connection to Bob’s Burgers and can get me an informational interview for the role of coffee-getter and perhaps shoe-polisher/dry-cleaning-picker-upper? UHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.