Monday, October 4, 2010

Oh you fancy huh?

Yep. I jacked a line from a popular hip hop song like a 16 year old girl looking for a new Facebook status update. Don't judge me though, as Im not about to try and pass off pseudo rapper-wisdom as fact or semi-intelligent discourse.

When I say "oh you fancy," I definitely don't mean it in the traditional chickenhead way. I don't mean it in the "oh, we fancy!! Hittin the club tonight in our freak em dresses while our sisters watch our bad ass kids" kinda way. I mean it more as a comedic interlude destined to point out inherent bougie-ness... Like "nigga you drinking beer out a straw? Oh you fancy huh?" lol.

Now that the appropriate disclamer has be laid ( like the most overly developed girl in 7th grade... No pedo), I find it appropriate to talk about y'all fancy mother flockas. Doing hood shit is fine, as is doing semi fancy, nice,white people/business casual type shit... Just don't mix the two. Aka stop trying to make non fancy shit fancy!!!

Case in point...Ramen Noodles. Uggghk.

We've all been there... Late nights... No bread (bread = money) , or just a general desire to eat with minimal effort or energy expenditure...Aka (no skeeeeeeee-eww) niggas don't wanna cook and out comes the 7 for a dollar block of Ramen... Prefiribly skrimmmmp flavored. :)

Ain't nothin wrong with the worlds only 6 minute, 15 cent meal. There is, however, plenty wrong with trying to turn that shit into a gourmet meal! It is what it is... A 15 cent meal, accept it as that! You don't try to add seltzer water to kool aid and make soda now do you?

Cut the shit! Stop chopping up frozen cocktail shrimp, or little hotdogs and putting them in your ramen.

Stop putting cheese on top of your Ramen you fancy bitch!

And you fancy jail motherflockas... Once out of jail, it's not OK to mix slim jims with Ramen or use crumbled cheetos as a cheese topping. Even a blind chef with the tastebuds of a female porn star could tell you this is a bad idea. You Rachel Ray Charles Raekwon the chefs.

Also... Since we are on the subject...all you fancy ass peppericans mixin Ramen with the "meat" you call "jamonella" need to stop. Just cause Spam sounds cuter in Spanish doesn't make canned meat any more acceptable. It's unnecessarily fancy! It's like having garlic French bread with Spagetti O's.

3 comments:

Nigga please. Why a dead broke person gotta feel dead broke at every meal, my dude? Let a broke nigga feel normal, son. If spam or meatballs and Parmesan cheese makes you forget for a second how destitute you are then I say fuck it do what you gotta do. Better than them wastingmoney on the club or 22" rims anyway. Hatin' ass Rocka trying to keep the poor man down, ain't this a bitch!

Maybe poor people need to be reminded that being poor sucks so that the are reacquainted with the essence of "the grind." Enough of this "I'm glad I grew up poor without fancy things because...blah blah blah." Lets quit masking it. Nothing like a bowl of ramen with no side dish to remind you that you need to get your ass up and hustle hard (pause.)