The Jewish Doctor

The small acts of kindness that a doctor witnessed 40 years ago changed his life and the lives of his patients.

Dr. Mark Paris is a leading HIV specialist who works in infectious disease clinics in Palm Beach, Florida. His official title is Senior Physician, but his real job is trying to bring light to some of the darkest areas that patients face in the scope of their illnesses. It’s a message that he learned 40 years ago as he witnessed the simple care and love dispensed by an Torah observant doctor.

“Patients know that I'm treating them the way I would treat anyone else. These are very sick people. All they want is someone to give them respect,” Mark said. “The whole way I deal with people is based on my religious attitude.”

Mark grew up in a non-religious Jewish household in Brighton Beach, New York. He attended PS 253, where almost the entire school was like him.

“I only had three or four non-Jewish kids in my class from kindergarten to fifth grade,” Mark said. “It was a very Jewish environment but I didn't know anyone religious.”

He attended college at Tulane University and then went to the University of Tennessee in Memphis for medical school. During Mark’s fourth year of medical school he worked in a local hospital. It was there that he met Manny.

Dr. Emmanuel Stadlin, better known among his patients and fellow physicians as Manny, was a pathologist in the hospital and a religious Jew. It was a time when segregation was still rampant in the Deep South, and many doctors had separate waiting rooms. Manny stood out not only because of the yarmulke on his head, but because of the incredible respect and warmth that he showed to every person, regardless of their color.

He didn't treat the cleaning lady any differently than his boss.

“He used to sit and drink tea with the black housekeeper. I noticed this guy treated everyone the same. He didn't treat the cleaning lady any differently than his boss. He told me it was because he was religious,” Mark said. “He told me, ‘Everyone was created in God’s image, so you have to treat everyone with respect.’”

Mark shadowed Manny in the hospital, not just to learn from his deep medical knowledge, but to study his conduct and his sincere concern for every person he met. The more time he spent with Manny, the more Mark saw that this was the kind of doctor that he wanted to become.

“He was very intellectual, a really smart guy,” Mark said. “He realized he could be a great professor and could still sit and drink tea with the black housekeeper.”

Mark and his wife spent the last three months of his medical school in Costa Rica where he completed a Tropical Medicine Fellowship. He then returned to Memphis for his medical internship and was able to work closely with Manny again.

The more time the two men spent together, the more Mark was able to recognize Manny’s Jewish roots as the source of his upright behavior. In the autopsy lab or over informal cups of tea, Manny began sharing some of the Jewish teachings that had influenced him. Manny introduced Mark to other Orthodox families in the local community, and Mark began reading all the Jewish books he could get his hands on. With the help of Manny, as well as a local rabbi and other people in the community, Mark and his family eventually became observant.

On The Road

Since his early days in medical school, Mark has been on a charged mission to try to bring love and care to patients throughout the world.

In Florida, Mark now spends much of his time running clinics for people from third-world countries suffering from HIV, tuberculosis and sexually transmitted diseases. Many of his patients experience strong cultural stigmas associated with disease and medication, and suffer from depression and other challenges. Mark’s compassion helps them to cut through the gloom.

Patients and colleagues attest that Mark’s empathy is some of the best medicine he prescribes.

“The real concern that Mark has for other people is one of the hallmarks of his life and it really shows. Whatever he has learned, I wish they could bottle it and send it out. It’s really wonderful,” said Jeffrey Reynolds, a social worker who has worked with Mark for five years.

Mark’s wife Deborrah, a social worker, runs a nonprofit organization called Multinational Service Center which provides free or low-cost eye exams, glasses and social services for patients. Many of her patients are immigrants from Haiti and Latin America. Mark and Deborrah also now travel the world consulting on medical projects and treating patients in third-world countries, from the Amazon Rain Forest to deep in the heart of Africa.

Among his experiences, Mark has spent time in Peru researching infectious causes of blindness and has helped identify quick, low-cost laboratory tests that can be best implemented in third-world counties. Mark says his most meaningful project was when the Global Medic Corps sent him and his wife to Lesotho in 2005 to be on the first African team of clinical mentors for the Clinton Foundation. Mark and Deborrah helped local medical practitioners to implement treatments in hospitals and clinics and they developed a curriculum for the Lesotho Ministry of Health.

Over the years Mark lost communication with Manny, but recently made contact with him again. The two men spoke over the phone and are trying to arrange an in-person reunion. Despite some health problems Manny still shows the same sincere concern for others and a love of learning as he continues to attend a busy schedule of Jewish classes. His energy continues to inspire Mark.

“What I've learned from Judaism is that everyone in the world has something they can teach me," Mark said. "You don't meet someone unless there's a reason to do so. God puts you in a situation so you can learn something."

Manny and Mark clearly had a reason to meet each other 40 years ago in a hospital in Memphis. Little did Manny know just how far his kindness would spread.

Visitor Comments: 7

Glad to have such a person in the extended family... . He shows both "guts" and sensitivity - a healthy combination.

(6)
Anonymous,
October 3, 2010 6:05 PM

Really enjoyed reading this...

This was a well written, beautiful article. It was inspirational and enjoyable!

(5)
Anonymous,
September 29, 2010 1:21 AM

Real doctor

This is the brand o people to know. My admiration to the excelent Dr. Paris job.

(4)
Anonymous,
September 28, 2010 1:44 PM

it is really wonderful to to read abouth the valuable experience of Dr.MarkPARIS & HIS WIFE who are diong work among the needy people which is a lesson for most of us.thank God for creating such people.

(3)
Jane,
September 26, 2010 11:36 PM

Wonderful People

We could use more people like these folks in the medical field, In fact, in the world in general. Such accomplishments are enviable. I was curious about Manny the observant Jew in the Autopsy Lab. Can observant jews do autopsies?

(2)
Naomi,
September 26, 2010 12:28 PM

Inspiring

Thanks for posting this article. It is uplifting, and has all the elements of what it means to be a Jew regardless of denomination or practice. Toda Raba to you and to Dr. Paris and Manny.

(1)
Anonymous,
September 19, 2010 10:24 AM

Thank You for Sharing

This is a beautiful story and I thank you for publicizing it.
Too often, especially of late, we have seen media reports about allegedly observant Jews who are accused of being criminals. This story is a great counterweight to that.
May we all have the merit to live our lives in ways that emulate the hero of the story.

I'm told that it's a mitzvah to become intoxicated on Purim. This puzzles me, because to my understanding, it is not considered a good thing to become intoxicated, period.

One of the characteristics of the at-risk youth is their use of drugs, including alcohol. In my experience, getting drunk doesn't reveal secrets. It makes people act stupid and irresponsible, doing things they would never do if they were sober. Also, I know a lot about the horrible health effects of abusing alcohol, because I work at a research center that focuses on addiction and substance abuse.

Also, I am an alcoholic, which means that if I drink, very bad things happen. I have not had a drink in 22 years, and I have no intention of starting now. Surely there must be instances where a person is excused from the obligation to drink. I don't see how Judaism could ever promote the idea of getting drunk. It just doesn't seem right.

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

Putting aside for a moment all the spiritual and philosophical reasons for getting drunk on Purim, this remains an issue of common sense. Of course, teenagers should be warned of the dangers of acute alcohol ingestion. Of course, nobody should drink and drive. Of course, nobody should become so drunk to the point of negligence in performing mitzvot. And of course, a recovering alcoholic should not partake of alcohol on Purim.

Indeed, the Code of Jewish Law explicitly says that if one suspects the drinking may affect him negatively, then he should NOT drink.

Getting drunk on Purim is actually one of the most difficult mitzvot to do correctly. A person should only drink if it will lead to positive spiritual results - e.g. under the loosening affect of the alcohol, greater awareness will surface of the love for God and Torah found deep in the heart. (Perhaps if we were on a higher spiritual level, we wouldn't need to get drunk!)

Yet the Talmud still speaks of an obligation on Purim of "not knowing the difference between Blessed is Mordechai and Cursed is Haman." How then should a person who doesn't drink get the point of “not knowing”? Simple - just go to sleep! (Rama - OC 695:2)

All this applies to individuals. But the question remains - does drinking on Purim adversely affect the collective social health of the Jewish community?

The aversion to alcoholism is engrained into Jewish consciousness from a number of Biblical and Talmudic sources. There are the rebuking words of prophets - Isaiah 28:1, Hosea 3:1 with Rashi, and Amos 6:6, and the Zohar says that "The wicked stray after wine" (Midrash Ne'alam Parshat Vayera).

It is well known that the rate of alcoholism among Jews has historically been very low. Numerous medical, psychological and sociological studies have confirmed this. The connection between Judaism and sobriety is so evident, that the following conversation is reported by Lawrence Kelemen in "Permission to Receive":

When Dr. Mark Keller, editor of the Quarterly Journal of Studies on Alcohol, commented that "practically all Jews do drink, and yet all the world knows that Jews hardly ever become alcoholics," his colleague, Dr. Howard Haggard, director of Yale's Laboratory of Applied Physiology, jokingly proposed converting alcoholics to the Jewish religion in order to immerse them in a culture with healthy attitudes toward drinking!

Perhaps we could suggest that it is precisely because of the use of alcohol in traditional ceremonies (Kiddush, Bris, Purim, etc.), that Jews experience such low rates of alcoholism. This ceremonial usage may actually act like an inoculation - i.e. injecting a safe amount that keeps the disease away.

Of course, as we said earlier, all this needs to be monitored with good common sense. Yet in my personal experience - having been in the company of Torah scholars who were totally drunk on Purim - they acted with extreme gentleness and joy. Amid the Jewish songs and beautiful words of Torah, every year the event is, for me, very special.

Adar 12 marks the dedication of Herod's renovations on the second Holy Temple in Jerusalem in 11 BCE. Herod was king of Judea in the first century BCE who constructed grand projects like the fortresses at Masada and Herodium, the city of Caesarea, and fortifications around the old city of Jerusalem. The most ambitious of Herod's projects was the re-building of the Temple, which was in disrepair after standing over 300 years. Herod's renovations included a huge man-made platform that remains today the largest man-made platform in the world. It took 10,000 men 10 years just to build the retaining walls around the Temple Mount; the Western Wall that we know today is part of that retaining wall. The Temple itself was a phenomenal site, covered in gold and marble. As the Talmud says, "He who has not seen Herod's building, has never in his life seen a truly grand building."

Some people gauge the value of themselves by what they own. But in reality, the entire concept of ownership of possessions is based on an illusion. When you obtain a material object, it does not become part of you. Ownership is merely your right to use specific objects whenever you wish.

How unfortunate is the person who has an ambition to cleave to something impossible to cleave to! Such a person will not obtain what he desires and will experience suffering.

Fortunate is the person whose ambition it is to acquire personal growth that is independent of external factors. Such a person will lead a happy and rewarding life.

With exercising patience you could have saved yourself 400 zuzim (Berachos 20a).

This Talmudic proverb arose from a case where someone was fined 400 zuzim because he acted in undue haste and insulted some one.

I was once pulling into a parking lot. Since I was a bit late for an important appointment, I was terribly annoyed that the lead car in the procession was creeping at a snail's pace. The driver immediately in front of me was showing his impatience by sounding his horn. In my aggravation, I wanted to join him, but I saw no real purpose in adding to the cacophony.

When the lead driver finally pulled into a parking space, I saw a wheelchair symbol on his rear license plate. He was handicapped and was obviously in need of the nearest parking space. I felt bad that I had harbored such hostile feelings about him, but was gratified that I had not sounded my horn, because then I would really have felt guilty for my lack of consideration.

This incident has helped me to delay my reactions to other frustrating situations until I have more time to evaluate all the circumstances. My motives do not stem from lofty principles, but from my desire to avoid having to feel guilt and remorse for having been foolish or inconsiderate.

Today I shall...

try to withhold impulsive reaction, bearing in mind that a hasty act performed without full knowledge of all the circumstances may cause me much distress.

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