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psychlady, Counselor

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My husband is almost 12 years older then me and makes really

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My husband is almost 12 years older then me and makes really good money, while I'm taking care of our 2 year old and do cooking and house work. When I do earn some money it feels great and I think it belongs to me, while my husband wants me to share with him and spend it on our expenses. It takes the joy out for me from earning money and doesn't make me love or want my husband more, to say the least. I come from Eastern Europe where a man has to provide for the family and that's ok, it just really disappoints me when he wants a pieace of what I make, even if it's just 400$. How can I make peace with this situation to love my husband and be happy?

Your husband may feel that a piece of his earnings go to supporting you and your child so he feels he needs this in return. If he is the only income then a majority of his income goes to support your family. When you make money he may feel that he needs the same from you. Although he makes more money he does not keep all of his money and he sees the two of you as equals in this way. When you are supported by his income you have no problem seeing that as necessary. Try to see both of your circumstances as equal rather than seeing yourself as having a smaller income than your husband and holding onto it. If 90% of your husband's income goes to your support then he really is keeping very little despite the amount of his income. You could plan for keeping half of this money for instance which is far more than your husband keeps. In the end it's your decision but in being part of a family it is unfair to expect that you will contribute nothing monetarily.

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