Phases of the Moon, the newsletter of the Maine NVC Network
Volume Eight, Issue Five:The Puzzle of Our Reactive Nature

Our newsletter appears approximately once a month. Our purpose is to contribute to the NVC learning of people who have taken at least an NVC Level 1 workshop, and help us stay connected as we endeavor to deepen a culture of peace within ourselves, our families and the world. We believe a Level 1 offers so many new ways of thinking that additional support for learning and integration could be helpful.

We endeavor to make each edition informative, connecting, inspiring and fun. Please let us know how the newsletter might contribute to your NVC well-being. Email: newsletter at mainenvcnetwork.org

It can be both baffling and amazing how complex human beings are. When I first encountered NVC, I loved the idea that so much could be understood by looking at Universal Human Needs. By using Universal Human Needs I could see my connection to anyone and anything (both living beings and "non-living things").

I have not lost my enthusiasm and love for the NVC outlook. Again and again I experience the relief and ease it brings into people’s lives. Just this week, in the closing circle of a two-day introductory workshop, a man expressed, "In these two days I learned to love myself more and hate other people less." What a gift!!

And I’m still puzzled about my own reactivity. Why does it happen? Why, at times, does it seem irrational and out of balance with the situation at hand?

These questions are getting answered as I learn more about Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB) and Parental Attachment Theory. When I integrate what I've learned from all three perspectives, my life and reactions make even more sense. I comprehend an even richer tapestry of what makes my human form respond to life as it does. I find I open up to wider and wider ranges of responses - more vulnerable and more authentic. I feel more inner freedom.

It is heartening to see how the effectiveness of NVC can be seen within the IPNB framework. As the function of our brain’s hemispheres become more clear to me, it is apparent how NVC helps our brains integrate in a balanced way. I have recently enjoyed reading the chapter, This is Your Brain On Emotions, within the book, Meet Me in Hard-to-Love Places: the heart and science of relationship success, by Eric Bowers. I can see how the two hemispheres of our brains work with the four components of NVC.

Our left hemisphere’s functions include:

Linear & literal thinking

Processing language – words, definitions, grammar, structure

Processing the familiar

Monitoring details

Tracking facts

Making sense of experiences, such as cause and effect

Problem-solving

The left hemisphere is primarily responsible for our day-to-day living – doing the things we know how to do.

Our right hemisphere’s function include:

Nonlinear and metaphorical thinking

Processing nonverbal communication

Processing new information

Big-picture thinking

Reading the emotional signals from the body

Empathy, attunement, resonance

Intuition, morality and implicit memory

The right hemisphere gets involved when there is new learning. It is the land of empathizing, resonating, regulating emotions and tuning into our inner experience or that of others.

When I consider the four components of NVC, I see that

– Observation is the realm of the left hemisphere

– Feelings are the realm of the right hemisphere

– Universal Needs are the realm of the right hemisphere

– Requests (problem-solving that cares for Universal Needs) are the realm of the left hemisphere.

How cool is that!

I find myself incorporating IPNB information into even my basic NVC teaching. It seems to help people grasp the NVC process with more ease. I find myself re-thinking all my curriculums – from Courageous Communication to the Maine NVC Integration Program – so this richness becomes more widely available.

Another aspect of my learning about reactivity involves looking into Parental Attachment Theory – more on that in a future newsletter.

To Learn More:

Learn more about the brain’s structure by watching this Ted Talk (12 minutes)

Be the first on your "NVC block" to read (and practice) Sarah Peyton’s new book, Your Resonant Self. You can receive a discount & free shipping by pre-ordering here.Use promotional code: Peyton17

Upcoming Trainings

Trainings listed here are in the Maine region. If you wish to list an event, please follow our guidelines for submission.
Please note that both certified and non-certified trainers, (who are willing to follow certain requirements of the Center for Nonviolent Communication), may be leading the posted trainings.
Listing here does not imply endorsement by the Maine NVC Network of the trainer or the event.

Ongoing

Monthly Empathy Circle:

Belfast, MESecond Friday of each month, 10am-1pm(formerly first Friday) NEW LOCATION: 25 Village Rd, Belfast
You are welcome to come when you can.
If this is your first time coming, please contact Linda beforehand:
Phone 207-322-2122
email: chezcote5 at gmail.com

Authentic Communication Groups
Falmouth, ME
with Andrea Ferrante, trainer and coach
Two groups meet biweekly, one on alternate Wednesdays; the other on alternate Mondays.
Authentic Communication Groups are coaching groups designed to open you up to an approach to living that offers greater peace, personal empowerment, and conscious connection to that which sustains and enriches life.FMI

Why "Phases of the Moon" as the name of our newsletter?
We think of the moon as representing our NVC practice: although we might not
always be able to see it, it is always there.
Sometimes we are deeply self-connected to our compassionate self and
our NVC consciousness radiates as the full moon. Sometimes we lose
self-connection and we steep in judgment and blame; then our NVC
consciousness is as hard to find as the new moon. Most of the time we
can show our compassionate natures partially, as the waxing and waning
of the moon.

We welcome your feedback and contributions. If you have a poem,NVCcelebration, or a question for Dear Giraffe that you would like to contribute, please email us, with "contribution" in the subject line. Material included in future issues is up to the discretion of the newsletter team. Email: newsletter at mainenvcnetwork.org

Nonviolent Communication, NVC and Compassionate Communication are all registered trademarks of the Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC). We do our best to use them in accordance with the published Guidelines for Sharing NVC.