OP here... Woohoo! So there is a bright side to this - my first FML got published! I'll think of all of you next week when I'm being grilled :P
And yes, at least I have the benefit of not being to blame for everything that came before me. But that excuse will only last that long, and obviously I intend to be on top of all of this instead of hiding behind someone else's mistakes.
Well, back...

OP here!
I had insurance on the car, I did it over the phone the day before I collected the car so I was all legal to drive it. The guy who hit me had no insurance on his car, and was promptly taken away by the police who were called to the scene by a passing motorist. It was a head-on collision caused by the other driver, so I'm not at fault.
My car is what my insurance call "a total loss"...