Author
Topic: But if you come with me, I have to wait in the regular line- Update #109 (Read 16448 times)

I don't have a Nexus card, and I probably won't get a Nexus card because the few times that I have had to wait more than a half hour the Nexus pass would have been useless (traveling with people who would never have a Nexus, spending more time on the crossing before I even got to the border/where the Nexus lane starts). I know a few people who have a Nexus pass, but they travel to the U.S. a lot more often than I do (like every day). I must admit the part about your friends telling her to get a Nexus card already hit a nerve with me because I know a few people who act super superior because they have have one (I'm not saying you or your friends are acting like this) and have such an attitude that I don't have one. And its not like I travel with them, so its not because I am inconveniencing them. (Sorry, I had to get that off my chest)

If she demanding frequent trips to the U.S. but won't get a Nexus pass I would be blunt, and say that you really don't want to wait in line. And even if you rather not make the trip with her, I would just tell her nicely that although you would enjoy the trip with her, you rather not have to be stuck at the border.

I do have to ask, how long are your waits usually? Because my last shopping trip to the U.S. I didn't have to wait long. On the U.S. side I was behind one car, and on the Canadian side I was behind two car. Now I did go during the week and it probably wasn't the busiest hours, but if I had to wait two hours at the border I probably wouldn't go over as much.

I agree you should let her know she is missing trips because it could be a cause effect thing. She can't travel to the States independently and she is seldom invited so the value of having one is limited. But if she had one she might be invited more often hence increasing the value.

I think it's fine to say that you plan to go but only with people with the card as you don't want to deal with the longer wait.

I do have to ask, how long are your waits usually? Because my last shopping trip to the U.S. I didn't have to wait long. On the U.S. side I was behind one car, and on the Canadian side I was behind two car. Now I did go during the week and it probably wasn't the busiest hours, but if I had to wait two hours at the border I probably wouldn't go over as much.

(we need a "green with envy" smilie.)

Where do you cross?

Logged

My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

I guess it depends on what time/day you go really. My parents cross over very often to the states, the *longest* they've been stuck waiting was just over an hour (foolishly) on a Friday this past summer. I don't go often but the last time I went was the beginning of June, my friend and I set off from Toronto first thing in the morning and it took us maybe 20 minutes max to get through. Neither of us have Nexus passes.

Would it be feasible to leave earlier in the day to avoid lineups? A weekday trip instead of a busy Saturday? I don't know, if I were on the end of 'you don't have a Nexus card' I'd be a little hurt that my company wasn't worth the extra half hour or so in line. That's the way I would read it anyway.

If you want to meet her down there the buses do get passed through security pretty quickly, the few Bills games I've been to we've made it across in no time.

Just a thought.. Could it be concerns over NSA spying? I've read a lot of things about RFID and tracking and well... I'm sure there are some rules on the forum about going into conspiracies and what not, but it *could* be your friends concern, holding her back from a Nexus card....

I don't know, if I were on the end of 'you don't have a Nexus card' I'd be a little hurt that my company wasn't worth the extra half hour or so in line. That's the way I would read it anyway.

I understand your point, but I know I have things that I just absolutely despise and not wanting to do those things has nothing to do with anyone else. Not saying the OP despises being in line, but it was important enough to her and her friends not to have to do it to get a Nexus card that takes a few months to get. They are thrilled to have this perk and don't want to go back to crossing the border the regular way. It's important enough to the OP that she's posting here trying to figure out a "nice" way of telling her friend she doesn't want to stand in line.

I don't know, if I were on the end of 'you don't have a Nexus card' I'd be a little hurt that my company wasn't worth the extra half hour or so in line. That's the way I would read it anyway.

I understand your point, but I know I have things that I just absolutely despise and not wanting to do those things has nothing to do with anyone else. Not saying the OP despises being in line, but it was important enough to her and her friends not to have to do it to get a Nexus card that takes a few months to get. They are thrilled to have this perk and don't want to go back to crossing the border the regular way. It's important enough to the OP that she's posting here trying to figure out a "nice" way of telling her friend she doesn't want to stand in line.

I guess I see it in different terms than just waiting 30 minutes. For example, I planned a trip with a friend to a resort and then two more friends decided to join us. When we originally purchased the trip, we opted to pay more to be part of the resort club to get access to a more private area of the resort with way better amenities in addition to accessing the regular resort. When the other two friends decided to join us, we let them know that we had upgraded so unless they too upgraded, they wouldn't be able to join us in the private areas. We also made it clear that we definitely planned to utilize those areas. I don't think that was rude, and if they had decided not to upgrade, I wouldn't have limited my vacation to the general areas of the resort just to be around them as IMO they chose their vacation knowing it would mean less interaction with us.

Aapplied to this case, if OP is upfront, the friend would be choosing to go without a Nexus card knowing that it might mean that she can't travel with these friends the way she would want to. I don't think the onus has to be on OP to make it possible for her to attend more than there is an onus on the friend to match the requirements of the trip.

I'd present the trip as - I am going to on a trip to the US using my Nexus card. I'll be driving down with all the Nexus users and you are welcome to join us in that car if you get a Nexus or meet up with us on the other side if you prefer not to get one.

We have Nexus cards. We won't cross unless everyone in our car has one. It does make HUGE difference in time to cross.

I think I would tell her "Friend, it makes for a much longer day in the car and less time for shopping if we have to cross in the regular lines. How about we do something fun locally and then go for a shopping trip when you get your Nexus pass".

I wouldn't expect someone without a car to buy a Nexus card. $50 and several months sounds like a lot to invest for the occasional trip. I wouldn't express any surprise or outrage that she doesn't have one, and I wouldn't assume that she's going to get one ("Oh you want to join us, great, I guess you have your Nexus card now!")

I don't have a car. I'd rather you just be honest with me. Let her know the trip is only for people with Nexus cards. Does that mean you value a Nexus card over her company? Yes, it does. So own it.

I would just reply that I would love to go shopping with you! Have you gotten your Nexus card yet? (Yes! Great! Let's make plans).

Not responding specifically to you, YummyMummy, as to the general idea of the OP saying something to her friend that implies the friend has already got a card, or plans to get one. It's come up several times. To be honest, if I were the OP's friend, I would find this to be a combination of passive-aggressive and condescending.

From the information given by the OP, my understanding is that the friend has not communicated any intention to get a Nexus card. So for the OP to act as though her friend has said otherwise just feels "off" to me, and not very respectful.