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Avoid these mistakes while networking

The Lowell Sun

Updated:
04/10/2016 06:38:36 AM EDT

By Kevin Willett

Many people avoid attending business networking events because they simply do not know what to say or do. Networking is an important skill to have as a business owner. Here are four tips to use to use to make your next networking event a success.

* The Golden Rule of networking: Help others before you help yourself. We all know that networking is about building trust and getting people to know, like and trust us. But sometimes we forget. We get excited and go right into our sales pitch. You should buy my widgets. (I use the word widgets so that I don't offend anyone. And if you happen to sell widgets, don't worry. I'm not talking about you.) Of course, when no one buys our widgets, we get mad and stop networking because it's stupid and doesn't work.

Let me suggest a different approach. Next time you attend a networking event, focus on helping the people you're speaking with. Ask them a few questions about their businesses. Find out who would be good clients for them. Try to think of people you know who may be good referral sources for them and ask if they'd like to meet those people. Typically, people will be so excited that you offered to help them, without trying to sell them anything, that they'll ask how they can help you.

Notice that you didn't even have to ask for help. They volunteered.

You might be thinking: "But Kevin, what if they don't offer to help you back?" That's OK, just consider it a deposit in the karma bank. Never keep score or expect a referral from everyone you give a referral to.

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Life doesn't work that way. Always do the right thing for the right reason and things will work out for you.

* Eat before you attend an event. Unless you're attending a dinner, always eat before an event. People often say to me, "Kevin, there's free food. Why wouldn't I take advantage of that?" Have you ever tried to talk with someone who has a drink in one hand, a plate in the other, and a mouth full of food? How did that work out for you? It simply doesn't. If you need to eat, grab a quick bite and get back to the reason you attended the event -- to network. I always joke with my friends and say if you think you may have set a new world record for shrimp consumption at a networking event, then you're doing something wrong.

* Don't drink and network. I know my friends hate the fact that I don't allow alcohol at my networking events, but I'm never going to change my mind about this. I believe drinking at networking events is always a very bad idea. You might think having one drink loosens you up and makes you more fun to network with. But the second drink could loosen you up to the point where you say something inappropriate that will wreck your reputation. My friends, you just have to trust me on this one. I've seen so many embarrassing things happen, to the point where some people never go to another event because they're too ashamed to come back. Now is that drink really worth the risk?

* How to exit a conversation. Many of my friends struggle with how to exit a conversation without feeling like they're hurting the person's feelings. Let me start by telling you what not to say. Don't say you have to go to the restroom and then start talking to someone else. This happened to me a few months ago and I was tempted to walk over to the person and say, "Hey, the restrooms are in the back if you need them," but we know that would be pretty childish. Don't say you're going to grab some food, because they'll probably follow you to the food line and try to talk with you while you're eating, and that can be awkward. Also, never say you're going to grab a drink, because they might follow you to the bar, and once you start drinking with someone, chances are you'll be together for the whole event.

I suggest you try something like this: "I know you didn't come here to just talk with me, so I'll let you go so you can meet other people." Now you've made it about them, so it doesn't come across as though you think they're boring and want to get away from them. Give it a try at your next networking event.

Kevin Willett is chief executive officer of the Friends of Kevin Networking Group and the New England B2B Networking Group. Please connect with him on social media to hear about his upcoming business networking events.

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