As ACoAs, as kids – we had no choice but to become enmeshed with our specific set of Difficult People, brainwashed into accepting their messages without question and ignore the damage it did to us. We were at their mercy, & rarely if ever did we get help to cope with them, or learn how to protect ourselves in healthy ways.

So, it’s imperative to identify & acknowledge what & who we have to deal with, instead of questioning our observation of dysfunction, or denying them completely.

Difficult people (D.P.) aremanipulative, controlling & bratty – with most people, most of the time – functioning from defenses developed in response to a damaging background. Internally conflicted, their patterns are usually unconscious. Dedicated D.P. don’t like it when they can’t play out their shtick (pattern), or are called out on their negativity. When they don’t get what they want from one person or environment, they move on to the next innocent sucker.

DON’T IGNORE the red flags:a. They rarely have empathy for others, &
b. Are always angry OR always miserable

While most people have one or more of the following characteristics – some of the time, in some circumstances – negative personalitytraits & attitudes of D. P. are entrenched, in the form of personality disorders (More….)

1.It’s all about them = They’re narcissistically opinionated, needing to be the center of attention. Dramatic & fueled by reactions from others – their life is like a soap opera. Asking “How are you?” will open a can of worms, & a story will turn into a novel

2. They’re Victims = They’ve never gotten over trauma – stuck in the past, telling & re-telling stories of pain, failures & guilt. They’ll reel you in by using illnesses, family & tragedy – as a manipulation to make you feel sorry for them

3. They never do a favor without collecting = They’re always scheming to get something for nothing – self-serving, with no shame or compassion. If they do you a favor – you’re going to pay for it, big time. They’ll keep reminding you of what they did & what you owe, even though you’ve also helped them in the past. But admitting that would not serve their interest

4. They’re oblivious = They’re have no idea what’s going on in reality – living in a world only they understand. They’re not dreamers & trailblazers, but rather in deep denial – undependable & irresponsible. They’re so vague it’s hard to have a serious conversation with them

5. They blame, gossip&whine= If they’re gossiping with you about others, they’ll do the same about you. They blame others for their troubles & whine to get attention. They complain about everyone – to you – but put on a big smile for the ones they just trashed. (modified from Adorablequotes4u.com)

SIGNS of a Toxic Person (the more of these the more toxic)
NOTE – toxic people are not all overt in their treatment of others – like the bully & tanks. Some do it by withholding or being sneaky, but all have a harmful effect on others:

• Only what they think, feel & want matters
• They’re critical, controlling & never consider anyone else’s (your) needs
• They act like they’re fabulous & never make mistakes (perfect)
• The angry ones don’t care about your feelings & like to see you suffer
• They drag up your past & won’t let you be different from them
• They dominate conversations, & leave no room for you
• They spread gloom, & keep disappointing you

• Nothing you say or do is ever good enough
• They violate your boundaries, & never respect your ‘no’
• When you’re around them you walk on eggshells
• You ‘check out’ or ignore your own values
• They make fun of even the smallest actual or imagined flaw
• They leave you feeling guilty & ashamed of who you are
• They leave you wounded = feeling battered, bruised & torn apart

HELPFUL SUGGESTIONS (modified from Dr Alice Boyes)Get to know your BIS (Behavioral Inhibition System)BIS is a brain-based system that prevents a person from moving forward when they have competing needs (achieve success while avoiding all negative outcomes), or conflicting motivations (pleasing a parent vs. pleasing oneself).

• People with a strong BIS tend to be highly anxious – worried about real or potential ‘punishment’ – which can include negative responses (criticism) or something positive taken away (loss of solitude)…… When faced with an internal dilemma, a strong ‘stop’ signal will kick in, OR they may start & then stop – unable to finish.

• Introverts (Is) with a particularly sensitive BIS can stay alert for punishment signals (being judged, ignored, disappointed….) & fend them off before getting run over by their BIS. Look for & accept rewarding opportunities in your daily life (complements, encouragement, praise, a raise…..) & learn to get as much of them as possible. (See post “Resilience – Traits : Positivity ratio“)

Accept & appreciate your TemperamentDEF: Personality is the whole person, & temperament is the basic force that drives a person to behave in certain ways, unique to them.

Introversion is neither a virtue nor flaw – just a natural part of ones personality. Many Is grow up being shamed by family & peers for being ‘different’, leaving them feeling ashamed for being ‘less-than’. That belief can now be corrected. (CHART….)

EXP: It’s normal for Is to be cautious about starting new relationships.
BUT, if you’re also brain-wired or been trained in childhood – to assume negatives first – it’ll slow connections even more. Work on looking for positive opportunities & risk reaching out once you’ve spent a little time observing how someone talks & acts. Trust your instincts.

EXP: It’s normal for Is to be focus inward – on being creative, paying attention to details & knowing things in depth.
BUT if you are also highly ambitious with a strong independent streak, you can become an entrepreneur, create a new product, fight inequality or ‘city hall’….
Identify long-term interests & passions, pursue them & self-correct when necessary. Explain your temperament when you need to, so others can understand your responses. (9 childhood aspectsof temperament – some relating to I-ness)

Identify emotionsIs need time to process emotions privately, but also to share them with someone trustworthy. Learn to identify Emotions so you know when you’re experiencing them (no denial). Give yourself permission to experience them all, without judgment, finding healthy ways to handle them internally & then express them safely.

• You can experience emotions without violating your values, & continue pursuing your goals (actions), no matter what your feelings are (emotions). Being able to managing them well can let you do hard things when others might cop out

Know your I variation
<—– Introverts (& Es too) come in different ‘natural flavors’, as well as the way the 4 MBTI levels combine, in different proportions & orders of preference for each Type —–>EXP: The order of preference for an ISTJ if their ‘stack’, based on the 2 middle levels, from strongest to least ‘natural’ (More….)
And be sure you know the difference between I-ness & insecurity. Confident people are: comfortable with their traits & abilities, knowing they’re generally liked – which has nothing to do with being E or I

Identify Cognitive Distortions (CDs)Is are just as susceptible to distorted thinking as Es, which has nothing to do with temperament. If you’re prone to be emotionally flooded because of CDs, such as B & W thinking, personalizing, catastrophizing, over-generalizing…..you can be held back in life. Learn about them, notice when they crop us, & then correct them, a little at a time

INFJs are sensitive, original & quietly forceful, more likely to be individualistic, rather than a leader or follower. They’re able to develop a clear vision of how to best serve the common good, then are organized and decisive in how they choose to implement this vision, tending to stick to things until they’re done.

They’re conscientious, with a well-developed value systems which they’re strictly committed to,& are well-respected for their perseverance in doing the right thing.

They’re curious to understand other people’s motives, & generally have great insight into them.They look for meaning in the connections between people, ideas & things. INFJs are idealistic, wanting to inspiring others, who often try to find a shared vision for everyone & come up with new ways to achieve the vision. (More…)

• Hiddenside : While their NF ‘righteousness’ usually compels them to be open & honest, they can be surprisingly clever & manipulative, from a knack for knowing what people want (& don’t want) to hear. They’re masters at keeping their friends close & enemies closer.

They’re the most cerebral of the Feeling types. So while many INFJs are spiritual, their aptitude for coming to conclusions with little or no evidence doesn’t come from any mystical source. Instead it’s from a constant but unconscious analysis of tiny details that most others completely miss, & which they themselves have trouble explaining

• Life’s Purpose : To guide those who are lost.
• Their Law : You shall always listen to my advice.
• They Comfort others by saying: It’s not your fault, you don’t deserve to feel this way.

• They Say : . These rules don’t benefit me, so I’m making up my own. I want to see my ideas be accepted & applied. ….it’s fine.
• Catchphrase : Do unto others as you would have them do unto you

• Communication : Advice – We don’t need to talk about every emotion. They won’t start the conversation. They’ll just watch you, from afar

• Weaknesses : Extremely private, over-doing sensory activities, convinced they’re right even when evidence proves otherwise, too quiet,
• Manipulate : Secretly meddle in your affairs because they know what’s best for you – more than you do

• Judge people by: their selfishness
• Are Judged for : making others feel that their emotions are invalid

Become STRESSED from situations shown in illustration. They either go all adrenaline rush or total paralysis

Under stress (Melancholy-Phlegmatic) INFJs tend to withdraw from reality into a fantasy world, which gradually gains importance as they become dissatisfied with their real life & the people in it.
While fulfilling the demands of their outer commitments, they’re secretly critical, the feel that their imaginary world & its characters are more important than the anything real.

In these circumstances they’ll feel physically stressed & intensely angry, with an obsessive focus on certain details and a tendency to over-indulge.

They can end up living almost exclusively in their imagination, resist reality with a defensive attitude, feeling like a misfit. They’ll spend enormous amounts of time falling into their deepest hidden fantasies & emotions. In this state, they might be attracted to seriously defective people & environments which they’re convinced will truly understand & appreciate them

• Hate : being forced, being misunderstood, unfairness, surrounded by conflict, pretentious people, anyone intentionally limited, going to funerals, being so effected by someone flirting with them, asking for help because it make them feel like they’re burdening others

• Don’t argue with an INFJ while they’re holding : a grudge
• Never : antagonize them • Never tell them : “You’ll never do anything meaningful with your life”

GROWTHAdvice : What you think is good for someone isn’t necessarily what they actually need.

INFJs may come across as too individualistic (“different”), private or mysterious, doing their thinking in a vacuum, which results in unrealistic ideas that are hard to verbalize

INFJs ican best help themselves by finding a way to bring their artistic vision & intuitive insights to light. By learning to express their rich imagination in a way that others can understand & appreciate, they become psychologically liberated, as well as integrated into the world. Artistic pursuits bring a great benefit to INFJs, offering an appropriate outlet for their deep emotions

INFJ RelationshipsYOU : have a gift to intuitively understand human relationships & complex meanings, as well as emphatically understanding partner’s emotions. Others see you as mysterious since they you tend to share you internal intuitions only with those you truly trust. Your relationship superpower is Sensitivity.

• Thrive in any that are: complex & intellectually challenging

• As a friend, you’re always to one reading a book, or listening to everyone’s problems, the one who needs a week ahead of a hang-out to mentally prepare – & then spend all the ‘fun’ time discussing the Universe & meaning of life

• You want to hear : I’m here for you
• You’re attractive/sexy because : being naturally refined & elegant, you have a peaceful presence, mysterious & wise. People want to get into you head & know what you know

• You should date : someone who cares about you as much as you care about them, will never take you for granted, lets you be yourself even if they don’t get you completely, who you can trust, & will never intentionally hurt you

• To attract you : they need to be one big walking paradox. They should look deep into your eyes & say “I need you” to help figure themselves out (Your turn-on)

INFPs are reflective & idealistic, interested in serving humanity, with a well-developed, strongly-held value system which they strive to live up to. They’re adaptable & laid-back unless those values are threatened.

Being highly intuitive about people, they enjoy helping others’ inner development to reach their full potential, & are extremely loyal to people who are important to them.
Mentally quick, able to see possibilities, they like coming up with creative solutions to problems. Usually excellent writers.

Their polite, reserved exterior can make them hard to know – at first. However they do enjoy conversation, taking particular delight in the unusual. When in a sociable mood, their humor & charm shine through. Disposed to like people & avoid conflict, they tend to make pleasant company. (More….)

• Hiddenside : Often regarded as frivolous daydreamers, they can be shockingly practical, seeing the value of using time & resources wisely. So they have no time for anything that’s irrelevant to their causes, projects or ideals. In a society where E-J behavior is the norm, INFPs are just as busy & functional, but their motivation is internal, & projects are usually personal, not social.

They’re not as pleasant as most sites claim. Many INFPs are harshly judgmental towards people & things they experience as violating their values. Though they usually don’t say anything, they’ll easily ignore anyone who doesn’t meet their standards – without giving it a second thought or consider the real reasons others have for their position.

• Life’s Purpose : Heal those who are hurting
• Their Law : You shall always love yourself
• They Comfort others by saying: You’ve got so much potential, just keep your head up!

• Paradoxes : Detached dreamer AND hyper-emotional. Tons of dreams BUT no practical realization
• Value: • Fear : of a life without harmony

• Judge people by: their values
• Are Judged for : seeming to be fake

Become STRESSED from situations shown in illustration. They diligently ignore a problem until it’s too big to manage

Under stress (pure Sanguine or Supine) INFPs usually dislike conflict & trend to be passive-aggressive when experiencing frustration or dissatisfaction. They’re deeply dedicated to being their ‘true self’, in the extreme avoiding anyone or anything that doesn’t fit in with their inner value system, becoming intolerant a& hard to please.

In these circumstances they’ll be cynical, depressed, aggressive & prone to acute self-doubt. As stress increases, they can get extremely whimsical & stubborn, insisting on acting on feelings, while ignoring the logical implications & consequences of their actions. Also, they’re inclined to use their self-focus as a standard for all relationships & situations in their lives, sticking only to what reinforces their self-image, & reject everything else

• Hate : stereotypes, feeling overwhelmed, sneaky-amoral-manipulative thinking, being left by a loved one, conflict, feeling invalidated, lack of imagination, having to be too logical & objective, debates that don’t include social justice, asking for help because they want to do it their way

• Don’t argue with an INFP while they’re holding : you hostage
• Never : trap them • Never tell them : “What you just said doesn’t matter”

GROWTH
Advice : Just act on your passion – nothing’s an excuse unless you make it so.

INFPs may struggle to speak up in meetings, leading others to assume they don’t care or have nothing to contribute, which makes it hard to convince others of the value of their ideas.

INFPs can help themselves by accepting they don’t need to resist or fight reality to fulfill their unique vision. Instead, it’s better to accept things as they really are & take advantage of opportunities to build the life they dream of. They need to learn to see all the possibilities without trying to filter them as right or wrong – living in reality instead of trying to change it or ignore it.

INFP RelationshipsYOU :tends to be selective & reserved about sharing your deepest feelings & values, which can sometimes make you hard to understand. You’re seen by family & friends as sensitive and introspective. Your relationship superpower is Support.

• Thrive in any that are: deeply romantic & intimate

• As a friend, you the super quiet one in a group, but crazy with 1 or 2 good friends, always deep & introspective, who’ll listen to someone all day or all night. And when you do give advice, it’s totally on point, like you’re channeling the person’s inner self

• Still single because : you’re the ‘friend’ type
• Unhealthy behavior : say ‘I love you’ on the first date

• Show interest : you’re confusing & slow. By the time they figure it out, you’ll like someone else
• Show love by : coordinating their needs, offer analysis, advice & help

• You want to hear : I believe in you
• You’re attractive/sexy because : you’re full of romance, feel so deeply & passionately. You seem so vulnerable, off in a dream world, & people wish they could be there with you

• You should date : someone who keep you grounded, show you reality, can be your anchor, is completely dependable, can protect you if needed, but also show how to protect yourself, help you modify expectations, & always works to impress you

• To attract you : they have to act like they have a deep broody secret they’re too guarded to let out. Then you won’t eat or sleep until you’ve gotten thru their wall (Your turn-on)

They have an emotionally detached & cognitively concise way of analyzing the world, & often figure out new or innovative approaches to problems. They’re exceptionally capable & driven to turn theories into useful, understandable procedures. They search for the universal law behind everything they see, trying want to understand the unifying themes of life, in all its complexity.

They’re quiet, reserved, & can be hard to get to know well. They spend much of their time focused internally, are individualistic, uninterested in either leading or following others. (More…)

• Hiddenside : Their socially-awkward stereotype comes from over-thinking situations, rather than ‘keeping it simple’. They care a great deal about what others think of them & theirs, & out of all the NTs, they’re probably the best team players.

They’re not wishy-washy, just extremely skilled at picking their battles. They can argue a lot – for its own sake, but it wears them out more than they’ll let on. They may pretend not to care about gossip or “SAP“, but secretly find it irresistible

• Life’s Purpose : To seek out that which is unknown.
• Their Law : You shall always procrastinate.
• They Comfort others by saying: Okay…Okay… How can we fix this?

• They Say : I’ve found a way to bend every rule. I prize intelligence in myself & others. ….but….actually….uh….
• Catchphrase : every Why has a Wherefore

• Communication : Advice – Meowing doesn’t count as talking. They might start a conversation, although if they’re busy with something, they may not notice others

• Weaknesses : Second-guess themselves, forgetting things, slowness, too often lost inside their own head,
• Manipulate : Can’t remember anything about anyone because all available space is filled with video-game lore

STRESSED by situations in illustration. They never do anything, in spite of understanding the situation.

Under stress – INTPs are likely to be very critical of other’s expectations & demands, while at the same time unconsciously craving affection & appreciation.

Their thinking can get complicated & speculative, ignoring objective reality, & start living according to their own subjective interpretation of the facts. In extreme circumstances they’ll feel alienated, upset & prone to whingeing & hypersensitivity.

As frustration grows, INTPs may develop various phobias & worrying about their physical health & the effect their environment can have on it – masking unacknowledged emotional neediness. In this state, they might try to limit anything unfamiliar in their lives, as well as making a fuss around their theories & being oversensitive to other people’s attitudes & opinions of them

• Hate : lack of intelligence, invalidating their ideas, scientific stagnation, overly serious people, being too emotional, someone who’s offended by everything the INTP says, falling thru the air (skydiving?) asking for help because it make them feel incompetent

• Don’t argue with an INTP while they’re holding : you accountable
• Never : dismiss them
• Never tell them : “Nothing you’ve made is special”

GROWTH
Advice : Having many interest is no excuse for not mastering any

INTPs may struggle to work in teams, especially with others who they see as illogical or insufficiently task-focused. Ironically, they themselves may have no clear sense of direction, overlooking important facts or practical details.

INTPs may benefit from realizing that being impersonal & detached from their circumstances doesn’t mean they’re being objective or realistic. Everyone is dependent on others to a certain extent, & no one can have full control over their life al the time.
Realizing they’re part of a larger scheme of reality – where everything and everyone eventually interconnects – may help INTPs relax, to be open to new possibilities & relationships.

INTP RelationshipsYOU : can be tolerant of a wide range of behavior but fail to consider how your style of expressing ideas can effect others. Family & friends see you as someone who values autonomy & independence. Your relationship superpower is Bravery.

• Thrive in any that are: honest & understanding

• As a friend, you never initiate hanging out but are totally available – as long as someone’s ready to talk science or conspiracy theories, the other sarcastic one (like INTJ) who doesn’t answer any Qs unless there about chemistry

• Still single because : you prefer blow-up dolls
• Unhealthy behavior : only express emotions in text

• Show interest by : intense trolling
• Show love : being considerate about their needs, offer advice & help

• You want to hear : I’ll leave you alone
• You’re attractive/sexy because : you’re low-key & dreamy, & something about you independence & aloofness is so intriguing that it makes others want to know what you’re thinking – in anything.

• You should date : someone who can can make you feel valued & smart, keep you grounded & teach you to live in the moment, can help you open up to & be OK with emotions, & keep you from using logic to ‘understand’ them

• To attract you : they need to take the initiative, again & again, until you even notice their existence. Then they have to try again.
(Your turn-on)

ISFJs are quiet, stable & practical, valuing security & traditions. Characteristically humble and unassuming, they rarely call attention to themselves. Typically involved in social groups, but not wanting the spotlight, they’re more likely to be found behind the scenes, working diligently to fulfill their role.

With a rich inner world, keen observers of people, they’re highly attuned to the feelings of others. Being conscientious & committed to meeting their obligations, they tend to put the needs of others ahead of their own. They’re oriented to relationships, but can be reserved with new people, are compassionate listeners, and typically remember details about people. They often enjoy hearing the facts of someone’s life in the process of making a connection.

ISFJs have a well-developed sense of space & function, being patient people who apply common sense & experience to solving problems for other people, usually very interested in finding ways to be of practical service. (More….)

• Hiddenside : They’re more open-minded than they seem. While extremely cautious with strangers, they’re willing to try understanding others, regardless of differences.
They’re the most fantasy-prone of any Sensing type, with a love for lore & literary analysis – as a way for them to keep in touch with traditions
They’re a lot more laid back than most profiles say, & some ISFJs have a tendency to give up on things they should keep at, while sticking to things they should give up on. They take what they do very seriously, but also need a lot of downtime, being highly sensitive to sensory & social input

• Life’s Purpose : Help those who are helpless.
• Their Law : You shall always take care of your family.
• They Comfort others by saying: I’m really sorry. Is there anything I can do to make it better?

• They Say : These rules suck! Only a fool goes along with them! I’m very dependable. …. no, no, it’s okay.
• Catchphrase : There’s no place like home

• Communication : Advice – Stop talking about taking care of someone. They might talk to others, but they’re rather shy, so they have to be approached. It’s worth it.

• Weaknesses : Take things too personally, being less efficient, too stressed /paranoid,
• Manipulate : Passive-aggressive guilt-trip you so you feel obligated to go along with their micro-managing

STRESSED by situations in illustration.
They 🎤 : Move %*#-, get out of my way!

Under stress (Phlegmatic-Melancholy) ISFJs have the tendency to lose themselves in emotional & moral commitments, seeing themselves as indispensable to & an intrinsic part of the cause they’re identified with.
At this point they can become self-sacrificing martyrs whose only purpose is the happiness & well-being of others. They can end up in bad relationships where they’re willingly being used & put in a service-oriented position

In extreme circumstances they’ll become accusatory & pessimistic, tending to think the worst & shut down. As their stress increases they begin to cling to others, trying to keep them attached by undermining their independence, but offering them unconditional care & support instead.
At the same time, ISFJs hide their own feelings & vulnerabilities, unconsciously building more frustration. They can become intolerant about whatever doesn’t fit their view of life, rejecting reality, even fiction that doesn’t agree with their values of feelings & purpose.

• Hate : being misunderstood, pretentious & unfairness, being chased, inconsiderate people, not fitting in, not sharing, making tough decisions affecting others, an overly cocky bad-boy (who she eventually marries 🙀), asking for help because it make them feel like they’re burdening others

• Don’t argue with ISFJ while they’re keeping : a promise
• Never : neglect them • Never tell them : “I wish you wouldn’t talk to me or try to help me

GROWTHAdvice : There’s a line between being nice & being a doormat.

ISFJs may be overly cautious, not always considering the logical consequences of their decisions. They can lack assertiveness, & risk basing their decisions on what they think will please others.

ISFJs can benefit from learning to discover, understand & fulfill their own needs, the same way they do for others. They need to assess their opinions & goals against reality, & gauge the strength of their commitments, to keep them balanced & reasonable.

ISFJ RelationshipsYOU : are generally dependable, make a good ‘caretaker’, are committed to your partners, friend & groups you belong to. You honor commitments & like to preserve traditions. Your relationship superpower is Listening.

• Thrive in any that are: stable & long-lasting

• As a friend, you’re the undying loyal one who’s like a good grandparent, the one who plans the party, is there, oversees it, talks to everyone, cleans up, goes home – & them obsesses about not having done it perfectly

• Still single because : too much of a ‘safe’ option to others
• Unhealthy behavior : giving a $100 1-week anniversary gift

• Show interest by : lots of little looks & smiles
• Show love by : taking care of practical needs, do little nice things to help

• You want to hear : I appreciate you
• You’re attractive/sexy because : you have a tender heart but also a hidden strength. You radiate an intense love of sensuality, with that smitten smile & discreet charm, that makes them melt

• You should date : someone who can force you to relax & practice self-care, can teach you to worry less & go with the flow, who enjoys you taking care of them

• To attract you : they need to act like a super-hero/heroin BUT who also needs you to take care of them. You’ll jump at the chance to nurture their reckless spirit (Your turn-on)

ISTPs are reserved, serious, sensitive & kind. Not liking conflict, they’re not likely to do things which may cause it. Not interested in leading or controlling others, they’re loyal and faithful, & enjoy being of practical help or service to others, as well as bringing people together, facilitating & encouraging their cooperation.

Others can see them as somewhat detached or analytical, as they’re interested in cause and effect, tending to organize facts using principles. They’re highly skilled with mechanical work and they excel at finding solutions to practical problems.

They live in the present moment and enjoy their surroundings with cheerful, low-key enthusiasm, & may be interested in/talented in extreme sports.
With extremely well-developed senses & aesthetic appreciation for beauty, needing beauty in their surrounding, they’re likely to be original & creative. (More…)

• Hiddenside : They’re not snobs or hipsters. Well, not exactly. They know what they like, full stop. Whether their tastes are considered refined or eclectic by the rest of the world varies from ISFP to ISFP. They’re not that shy – many have an SP-typical brazen sense of humor, & they love to talk endlessly about their interests. But they’re not as prone to jump at new opportunities or experiences as other SPs – “I don’t know, it doesn’t sound like something I’d like” is a favorite phrase

• Life’s Purpose : Splash color on to a grey world.
• Their Law : You shall always be creative.
• They Comfort others by saying: Don’t worry about it. Don’t worry about anything!

• They Say : I’m breaking all the rules, but it’s OK because I don’t think anyone noticed. I love having the freedom to do whatever I please. I don’t deserve this.
• Catchphrase : A picture is worth a thousand words

• Judge people by: their intelligence
• Are Judged for : saying that something others created was ‘stupid’

STRESSED by situations in illustration. Make list & lists & lists…

Under stress (Phlegmatic-Sanguine) ISFPs will give a lot of importance to their personal freedom, their choices, lifestyle & subjective view of life. Feeling threatened by conforming & the prospect of giving up their ideals, they start rejecting other people’s help & advice, becoming increasingly defensive & dismissive.
They may resort to sarcasm, become cryptic or derogatory. Then they get cynical, depressed, aggressive & acute self-doubt

As frustration grows, they tend to isolate to escape external influences, living on the edge of society, refusing to take any logical considerations into account, relying only on their creative emotions & peculiar worldview

• Hate : meanness, rejection, being told how to live their life, lack of freedom, being stifled artistically, falseness, people who hurt others, an attractive person ignoring them, losing their teeth, asking for help because they want to do it their way

• Don’t argue with ISFP while they’re holding : a baby
• Never : betray them • Never tell them : “I wish you wouldn’t talk about yourself so much”

GROWTH
Advice : Figure out what your needs are, & be clear about them

Because they tend to be less assertive than some types, ISFPs may have less influence at work, & their concern for others could keep them from making tough choices. They sometimes put off making decisions in the hope that a better option will show up.

ISFPs need to find a way to bring their vision & gifts out into the open, usually by learning to express themselves in a way that others can understand. By appreciating & accepting reality as it is, they can build a life that’s both authentic & appropriate.

ISFP RelationshipsYOU : prize the freedom to follow your own path, enjoy having your own space & setting your own timetable, which you will also give you partners. You can be difficult to know well but do care deeply about others, which you show through actions rather than words. Your relationship superpower is Appreciation of Beauty.

• Thrive in any that are : adventurous & lifelong

• As a friend, you’re the hipster who listens to old music & goes to festivals, likes everything new way ahead of everyone, & is all for wealth-distribution

• Still single because : you’re not a musician or artist
• Unhealthy behavior : debilitatingly jealous

• Show interest by : blushing
• Show love by: a spontaneous display of caring, taking care of their emotional needs

• You want to hear : I get you
• You’re attractive/sexy because : you have an earthy “I know what I’m doing” vibe with inner strength & willpower, but also glow with excitement & liveliness. These qualities are admired & attractive

• You should date : someone who supports you completely, as well as getting inside your head, can help you break out of your Ishell & accepts your vulnerability

• To attract you : they need to be playful & adventurous, & to take an interest in you, while giving space to figure out how you feel, & then go to them (Your turn-on)