TheN0mad

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Entry #14

Half empty

the glass is in fact neither half full nor half empty... it is in fact filled with air which is made up of particles which the glass is also made of....as well as the water... its all relative in the scope of the universe and the microverse....

philosophical and sciencey nonsense aside life has been odd as of late.... i got a job and mcdonalds which while a decent source of income in this backasswards economy that our fine politicians and subsequent banker overlords have wrought, it is a phenomenally depressing occupation.... not to mention a bit stressful... who knew feeding the fattest masses of america would be a shitty job right?

im working with some rather odd corporate commission jobs about some solvents or something or other...which is nice... decent one time pay for some rather easily designed sell sheets

but back to the glass i mentioned.... life right now seems alot like that glass.... i can see its half full because i have a place to live.. i have a job... and i have health...kinda.... but i can also see the glass half empty
im away from my friends... family(my dad excluding)... and everything i familiar with.....i am incredibly lonely...while thats nothing new to me at least when i was in michigan i could spend time with my friends and with my sister.. i am over 150.000$ in debt.....and my dreams are generally crushed..... and on the last front i can always see that the glass the water and the air is all basically pointless.... life if you look at it in a generally macroscopic perspective is inherently pointless....myself and everyone on this planet and even this planet itself is so laughably insignificant in the scope of the universe its almost comical

the thing is... or at least it seems to be that everyone else in my life.. and even those people i so randomly observe in my life...seem capable of handling all these facts on their minds constantly... or are generally able to either ignore these facts... or are ignorant of them...a feat i am envious of....

ALL of this.... is on my mind constantly....i am unable to shut my brain off and ignore these things...i am not capable...

my place in life right now is hard to pinpoint but i am certain i am lagging behind everyone else.... my sister is now engaged to her boyfriend....all my friends are in college...have cars... girlfriends...
and all i have is a mattress in a basement... and a shitty job at mcdonalds..... im thankful for what i have dont get me wrong.... but there has to be more to life than this.... there has to be more to life than

work

eat

sleep

that is quite honestly all my life is...
the only good thing to come out of all this fuckery that is in my head is that i can usually regurgitate it onto paper and make some decent art....