Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Guilt

The day starts with a very strong resolution to stay healthy and remain healthy for ever and ever. I get up early in the morning and check my weight right after the morning ablution with an entirely empty stomach. I instantly get shocked and want to throw away the bloody weighing machine. I hate myself the most at this stage. Thereafter I prepare myself and set my mind to eat right and exercise. This goes on day after day. After repeated attempts to succeed which results only in failure, my husband and me get ourselves enrolled in a gym nearby. We thought it is enough to keep us motivated. So, we start hitting the gym along with an everyday attempt of trying to eat right. The attempt starts every morning, is almost overcome during the noon and actually ends by the night. The very next morning, the stupid weighing machine makes me feel guilty. I want to blame everyone around me for my weight. Why did God create people who eat and eat but do not put on at all? Why is God being unfair to me? At the night, I make up my mind to change my life. I remind myself of what I believe in. Life is what you make out of it. Hence, I promise myself to restart the next morning, to turn into a new leaf and to change for better.

Hey you may be thinking that this is an endless process, but wait and kindly hold on. I have done it in the past. I have lost a whole lot of stubborn pounds for my marriage. That’s different that I have gained some of it back. But, all over again I pledge to shed it off all. Now, don’t you dare think that this is going to be a cyclic process from morning till night. Well, this blog was to share my everyday guilt with you.