Fashion trend for men: Yummy

Attention, men. Yes, you people with Y chromosomes — it’s time for some man-talk. Specifically, we need to address how you dress.

First, the good news: At long last, the “metrosexual” look, style, demeanor, and even the idea of the metrosexual man are dead. I know this because The New York Times “Styles” section has officially proclaimed it passé. Thank goodness — it was so Bush era, and who misses that?

However, your typical man-person won’t be thrilled with what the world of fashion has in store for us next. The driving force that will determine what we’ll be wearing is called “Henry.”

Not Longfellow or Thoreau (both are so old school), but a spiffy acronym that stands for “High Earner, Not Rich Yet.” Even worse, a Wall Street fashion analyst gushes that the new model for men’s couture is — get ready — “a Yummy.”

That would be the cute way to refer to a “young urban male.” Makes you miss “yuppie,” doesn’t it?

And what’s this style? A Times photo shows a tall blond Yummy wearing a overcoat that looks as if he has draped a shower curtain around him (albeit a cashmere shower curtain).

“We needed a kind of fresh look,” says the head of Zegna, a men’s fashion label. By “fresh,” he’s talking about silken coats that resemble bathrobes, shirts with yard-long sleeves that you scrunch up — oh, and narrow pants. Apparently they’re in, very in. As one retail executive explained, “[it’s about] the way a narrow trouser makes you feel.”

Hmmm, I think “squeezed” would be my answer to that.

Speaking of squeezed, we’re talking luxury duds — a Yummy suit runs between $5,000 and $17,000. And don’t forget your luxury man’s bag. These are “a growing segment,” enthused one investment manager, adding that, “I’m not the only one in meetings now with a luxury branded-bag.”

I guarantee you he’d be the only man-bag toter in any of the meetings I go to. But then, I’m not a Yummy.