Wednesday, December 16, 2009

I suppose it would be a gross dereliction of duty if I didn't do some post commemorating the end of the decade. The following is a hodgepodge list of stuff without any real evidence to back it up.

Most important person of the decade

Osama bin Laden. No question. Dude made George W. Bush, the most unremarkable of men, a historic figure. Seriously, if there was no 9/11, Bush would have been voted out of office in 2004, there would've been no Iraq war, we wouldn't know a thing about Barack Obama, the Europeans and Americans would still get along, the Middle East would be fucked but not as fucked as it is, and god knows what else. The world really did change on 9/11.

Best leader of the decade

Ummm, donno, really. Let's give it to Hu Jintao for keeping China humming along while no one other than the Indians and East Asians pays any attention. Though it bears noting that I know nothing about Chinese politics. They just seem sane from this vantage point, and that's all you can really ask for, no?

Mustafa Kamal. Reformed a city, despite other people's best efforts to derail anything and everything he attempted. Built stuff like, you know, roads and highways. Involved Karachiites in everyday policy. Served the people. Yeah, he belongs to the MQM. BFD. Honorable mention: Nawaz Sharif. If there's someone out there who played his cards better than this guy, I'd like to meet him/her.

Worst politician in Pakistan of the decade

Asif Zardari. When he ascended to power, he had a pliant military, a supportive U.S., a big chunk of parliament, public sympathy over his wife's death, public anger at Musharraf and undemocratic forces and all the rest of it. A year later, none of those things is even remotely true; he fucked it all up. Only he could do that. Kudos. It takes a special kind of talent to display the ineptitude that he has.

Technological innovation of the decade

Youtube. Hands down. The iPod/iPhone can go screw itself, it's not even close. From 2005 on, procrastination has never been the same. Honorable mention: DVR/Tivo.

Athlete of the decade

Lance Armstrong. Dude had cancer, for god's sake. Cancer. Came back and won a gazillion Tours de France. Retired. Came back three years later, and still finished in the top three. Minus points for being such good friends with Matthew McConaughey, but not enough to make him fall below Roger or Tiger (who is definitely something of the decade, I just can't figure out what).

Sporting moment of the decade

The Zidane headbutt. No question. Twenty years later, you're going to be telling your kids where you were when that happened.

TV show of the decade

The Sopranos. Can't be topped. With the caveat that I haven't seen enough of The Wire to make a real judgment. Honorable mention: South Park, The Daily Show.

Movie of the decade

I don't know. Don't watch enough films to be honest. I know I really enjoyed movies like House of Sand and Fog, 21 Grams, Zoolander, The Departed, Closer, etc etc, but I really feel uncomfortable giving them best-movie-of-the-decade honors. I don't know, you guys can decide this one.

South Asian crisis of the decade

Hmm, so many to choose from. Do we go for the simmering tension of the post Kargil age that lasted until the infamous Agra trip (1999-2001)? How about the fury following the Mumbai attacks (2008-present)? Naah. I'm going with 2002, the only time as an adult that I have truly feared war, nuclear war. Maybe I was young and stupid (save the obvious jokes please) but I really did believe it was more than brinksmanship in those days.

Artist of the decade

Beyonce. I don't listen to her music, but no one's going to tell me she didn't own this decade. I mean, she just flat out made it hers. Honorable mention: Radiohead.

Author of the decade

Don't know. I stopped reading fiction in 2005. I need your help with this one.

Annoying trend of the decade

The globalization and decentralization of the media, which allowed us to see just how batshit crazy other people are, from Zaid Hamid to Glenn Beck to crazy bloggers to warmongering op-edders. I'd rather live in a world where I am blissfully ignorant, thanks. Honorable mention: sending thank-you notes after interviews.

Best trend of the decade

Sitcoms without laugh tracks. From Scrubs to The Office (both of 'em) to 30 Rock, there is nothing quite like being liberated from annoying audience laughter, especially when the jokes aren't funny. I'm looking at you, last five seasons of Friends. Honorable mention: low rise jeans for girls.

Readers are encouraged to come up with their own awards in the comments section.

24 comments:

Technological innovation of the decadeWebmail,social networksing(orkut,myspace,facebook)blogging,twitter..Blogging brought more customized and interactive communication of readers with journos/bloggers. I think webmail(hotmail..gmail),blogging and social networking needed more attention that youtube.

Most important internet transformation is changing of status of readers/browsing netizens from consumers to content creators..thereby leveling the playing field and dismantling that feudalistic structure of internet by blogs,youtube,wikipedia,social networking.. (web2.0)Also the influence of peer-2-peer technology in liberating and uniting repressed voices in Middle-East,China like FreeNet,Bittorrent is understated.

OBL hands down. Had 9/11 not happened, Pakistanis would still be able to get visas, not to mention the wars and the carnage.

Best leader of the decade

Tough one, I'd go with Lula. On of the few heads of state in a continent full of batshit crazy leaders. Has overseen substantial growth and strengthened the country's international ties.

Worst leader of the decade

How about Chavez?

Best politician in Pakistan of the decade

Mustafa Kamal hands down.

Worst politician in Pakistan of the decade

Chaudhry Shujaat. A complete idiot who played a major role in Musharraf's fall from grace - and what a spectacular fall that was.

Ahsan, I think you're being too harsh on Zardari. When he came into power things were hardly as rosy as you point out and since then he's had to deal with one crisis after another. This is not to say that he and his administration are not inept, they are and they have failed but they have failed in the face of tough challenges.

Technological innovation of the decade

WiFi.

Athlete of the decade

Usain Bolt. He's taken the human body further than was thought possible.

Sporting moment of the decade

Liverpool's win over Milan.

TV show of the decade

The West Wing. Came up with ideological politicians and a young, inspirational minority president before the neo-cons or Obama ever appeared on the scene.

Movie of the decade

Lord of the Rings - an epic that is sure to become this era's Ben-Hur. Honourable mention: Dark Knight, changed the face of super-hero movies.

Web-based email was around in the 90s. Social networking is way overrated -- anyone and everyone could live without Facebook if it disappeared tomorrow, but people would find it very hard to live without Youtube.

AKS:

Some interesting calls, especially WiFi, which you're right, is probably the key one. I disagree with you on Bolt vs. Armstrong, I mean I think the facts speak for themselves but whatever. I also don't think things would be too different if BB had been alive -- basically the Musharraf exit would have been uglier and more unwieldy but the same thing would have happened.

AKS definitely had "The Dark Knight" and "The West Wing" spot on. Mustufa Kamal? Really? Do we seriously think that a few bridges made in Karachi make up for all the heinous bloodshed MQM was responsible for, just the last decade? Why oh WHY do Pakistanis have such amazing talents when it comes to short term memory loss?

The author of the decade would have to be JK Rowling. She reinvented the idea of reading for children. Something that was fast losing ground in the face of all these new-fangled video games. Not to mention all the moolah she made off of it that knocks off records.

Zardari has to be the worst politician ever.

Mainly because he never was one to begin with and catapulted straight to being the President - quite, quite, quite undeservedly.

Show of the decade: The Wire...most def...ten years from now it WILL be the most appreciated tv program of this generation...light years ahead of its time as far as plot themes and direction was concerned...Honorable Mention: Extras and the Office (UK)

Author of the Decade: Dan Brown? for the purest form of trashy fiction...the louvre must be mighty pleased with him as well...

Movie of the Decade: the rest of the star wars movies...okay the first one came out in 1999 but they renewed interest in the franchise and made a lot of money...LoTR is a good choice too..

worst trend: people who are famous for just being famous. aka the Kardashians and the entire cast of The Hills. How much did Lauren Conrad make for one episode? Last i heard it was $75k, back in 2006. That's a pretty sweet deal for showing the world how to eat salad and drink cold, reduced calorie beverages by day and hit a club by night and then leave 10 minutes later.

best trend: ballet flats. honourable mention: wearing whatever you want as long as you can pull it off. yes its true!

FFS liverpool and fucking football fans - war ravaged country recovers from abysmal opening to tournament and recent terrorist attack on rival touring side to defeat them in world cup final is not the best thing of the decade? come the fuck on...

also, if you're talking tv shows, in terms of quality, i thought some mention should be given to Hum Sab Umeed Say Hain and 4-man show for reviving satire. and Capital Talk and meray Mutabiq should be in the hunt if people like Dan Brown, Kanye West, et al are being talked about.

best debut novel of the decade - exploding mangoesleast worth the wait novel of the decade - the reluctant fundamentalist

technological breakthrough - the mobile phone shouldn't really count cuz its not form this decade, but then again in 2004 pakistan had a total of 5 million phone lines, landlines as well as mobiles. the number crossed 70 million in just five years.

most astounding success - really, i didn't know how else to put them in, but this enterprise gets mad props for changing the face of the pakistani launda party hang out this past decade - hot 'n' spicy. revolutionary.

finally 5 Rs guys hats off, you have been my favourite blog of the decade by far. i think the interest generated in this post was another testament to that. my deepest admiration for all members of this blog, past and present.

Haha, that's very nice of you to say. But Hot 'n Spicy? Come on man. Their success got to their heads -- the minute they exploded, their quality of rolls went south. I've gone back to being a Red Apple guy myself. (Although I will say that the fries from Hot n Spicy are the best anywhere in Khi).

Musicians/artistes of the decade: hands down Radiohead. Started the decade with Kid A. Ended it with In Rainbows. Released some of the most relevant and inspiring music ever and single handedly changed the face of the music industry :)

I can't safely comment on best author of the decade (hands down JK Rowling in my opinion but other people might disagree. And also she started out in the 90's but she only gained considerable momentum in the 2000's), but there are a few books that come to mind that can safely be called the best books of the decade. Being an avid reader I would have to go with The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold) and the Blind Assassin (Margaret Atwood). Honorable mention goes to Everything is illuminated (Jonathon Safran Foer) and Let the right one in [(John Ajvide Lindqvist) and yes that was a book first!]

Oh also best artist, you're right Beyonce is great, but I would have to go with Lady Gaga. Anyone whose seen the video of Paparazzi would agree with me.