Cops Find Man Duct-Taped To Yield Sign On Side Of The Road

It’s March Madness season, so there’s no shortage of people losing bets across this fruited plain of ours.

Whether it’s buying someone lunch, wearing the winner’s team’s apparel to work or doing something embarrassing, there are plenty of people ponying up this month. (And, as someone who picked SMU to go to Elite 8 and had Villanova in the championship game, I may be among them.)

Miguel Chavez wasn’t betting on the NCAAs, but he was still betting on basketball. Unfortunately, it seems Mr. Chavez was a bit incautious when he made his wager.

It ended with him being cut down from a yield sign by police officers after he had been taped to it.

According to KSDK-TV, Chavez had made a bet on Wednesday night’s game between his hometown Houston Rockets and Stephen Curry’s Golden State Warriors.

The report didn’t mention who he bet on, but given that the Warriors won by seven (and the spread was only 1.5, to slake the curiosity of the degenerate gambler demographic) and he ended up taped to a road sign, one could surmise he had bet on the Rockets.

We join the story when police were called to northeast Houston on a report of a man taped to a stop sign. When they got there, they saw a man with a knife approaching Chavez.

“Drop the knife or I’ll Tase you,” one cop shouted, according to KHOU-TV.

But, no, it wasn’t a cutthroat bookie out to get his pound of flesh. It was just a friend of Chavez’s who had come to cut him down.

Geez. That makes the double-dog-dare from “A Christmas Story” look like amateur hour.

The teens were let off with a warning and Chavez was even given a ride home by the cops. In the future, however, I have a bit of advice for Mr. Chavez: Stick to office pools.