Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Last week and the week before were the worst weeks I've had in a very long time.

But they're finally over.

I got my list of a million things to do finished. It seemed impossible, but I did it.

Then I spent some very much needed quality time with boyfriend, my dog and myself (and by my dog, I mean my family's dog because they're out of town for the week. We've been having a great time together.) I have work all week and all the roomies are out of town.

Yeah! Did ya hear? I got 2 new jobs! I'm a working woman, I tell ya! I'm working at the West Salem Courthouse Athletic Club as a child care provider and the Main Street Pub in Monmouth as a bartender/server. Spring term, here I come!

And now I finally feel refreshed enough to write another blog post.

I don't know what it is, but lately I've just become obsessed with cooking.

Yes, I am making very very simple things that I can't really ruin like pico de gallo, garlic chicken (on the George Foreman I might add), and steak tacos, but this is a big deal for me. I've learned I need to ease into it. When I'm ready to cook, I'll cook. Cooking used to be suuuper intimidating, like it would stress me out thinking about making something decent and healthy. The timing of getting the veggies or some side dish finished at the same time as the entree boggled me- I still have issues with this, but it's getting better. In other words, mac and cheese was my best friend for a long time. Now, I can't wait to make the next real dish! It actually is therapeutic for me- I feel so refreshed after slicing and dicing. It's wonderful! And the best part is boyfriend has been loving my cooking! Either that or he's an exceptional liar.

I just watched Julie & Julia today and it's currently my favorite movie. Given, it is all about cooking. I want to cook so bad I even want to make a chicken dish with mushrooms that I saw in the movie. And I hate mushrooms! Break through, people, this is a break through at its finest! The Julie girl in the movie is just my favorite and she blogs about her cooking. Hmmm...

Boyfriend was looking extra handsome this day. He was getting mad at all my picture taking.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

My mind is still in a I'm-not-going-to-work-no-matter-how-hard-you-trymode. So I'm currently trying to find the will to get my work done because lately, all of my school work has been like pulling teeth. It's becoming a somewhat serious problem to my mental sanity and emotional health.

For that reason, I haven't been blogging much at all.

I promised that I would share with you what happened at the women's retreat, but I'm just going to keep it simple and say it was a very intimate time with God and some real and awesome women. It was a very confirming week for me with what God had been showing me up until the retreat, and is continuing to show me now. Grace, humility, surrender, and embrace are four words, truly among many,that frequently ran through my head that weekend.

God is showing me so much of who He really is and is revealing things to me that I've never experienced before. Things about His character that I get to joyfully dwell in and embrace forever just because He loves me. He is also moving like crazy in our Bible study and throughout Monmouth. Let me tell you, people, a revival is about to happen. This is serious business and is not being taken lightly.

And now let me show you some of the awesome gifts we've gotten as a house today for this lovey day!

The flowers are from my dad- he always sends his girls flowers. I feel so dang blessed.

He had them sent to me and the cutest old man with no teeth delivered them to my door. It seemed that he could have been one of those old people who are long retired but goes back to work on special days like today just to be a delivery person for the single reason of wanting to.

Thanks for reading guys. There's no telling when I'll be able to write another post.

I really just like to keep you on your toes... psyche!

ps- I learned a new word today: palindrome.

A palindrome is a word that can be read frontwards or backwards, like 'racecar' or 'Hannah'.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

My brain is in a I-don't-want-to-work-so-I'm-not-going-to mood despite my serious efforts to make it work.

School? It's not going over super well right now (don't worry mom, I'm still getting my homework turned in... for the most part).

The biggest problem of it all is that I'm taking classes that count towards what I'm most likely going to do for my career, and they aren't just core LACC classes- aka my brain needs to function as properly as possible this term. And it's not.

Work, brain work!! Can you please stop being mad at me and be my friend now?

I did do about 3 hours of reading homework today at the campus coffee shop (that doesn't count the hours that I did before going to the shop and the hours I'm attempting to complete now...) and kept my roomie company while she worked. Go kys! You're the cutest barista.

I was on a women's retreat this weekend with my bible study I'm a part of in Monmouth and I'm excited to tell you about it. God was so faithful in the simplest ways. I love that we have a simple but oh-so-dang complex God. Once I catch up on the homework I didn't do this weekend, I'll be sure to share my weekend with you, pictures and all.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

No, I don't necessarily enjoy my fingers freezing every time I want to use my phone or the fact that I might as well not shave my legs until Spring because every time I do and then walk outside, it's all immediately grown back because of goosebumps. But I am finally convinced it's winter and oh what fun that is. I used to hate all the layers that are required with bundling, but now I look forward to it.

But I will admit that although, I am loving this cold weather and am going to embrace it while it's here, once Christmas has come and gone, I am super anxious for Spring time sun.

Being back in Monmouth is really great. People keep asking how DC was and although, I don't want to be a Debbie Downer, I can't lie and say it was absolutely amazing. As you guys have read, it was really hard. But it was a good hard. I say it was a really great experience, I did what I went over there to do, learned so much, but I'm really happy to be back in the northwest.

More on a personal note, I'm gonna share a little more deeply some of the things that have been on my heart.

I don't know how I have done this, but I have fooled myself into believing that I understood grace and the power of Christ dying on the cross. In my head, I knew the concept of it and would proclaim that truth when I was in apparent and dire need of grace at that moment, but it didn't really get to my heart. I didn't understand what that actually meant. I have recently realized that in the past, I would kind of compartmentalize my life (which isn't always a bad thing) and areas that I need to work on (also, not always a bad thing), but once I figured those things out, I would think I didn't really need God's grace so much, because, hey-I worked it all out, right?

I'm so thankful that we have a gentle God who shows us how wrong we are.

I have been feeling like the biggest failure lately. Like big time. And usually, when I've spent enough time working on my failures, I find a way out of feeling this way. But with some of the struggles I'm going through right now, I can't get a quick fix out of them. I can't find answers and I can't figure out how to turn things around to make them good (I'm sure you're saying it's a good thing that's not my job, right?). In the past, I'd have dwelt on my many many failures and would have had the "poor-me's" until I could figure it all out. But this time it's different. I still don't have answers, I'm still hurting and in turn, have hurt people, but I get to live and walk in the grace that Jesus has for me. It's such a simple truth that I've heard time and time again, but it's different when I get to live it out because I have no other option. I can't do anything else except to accept that I am a walking failure and sinner and always will be, but that's why Jesus died for me. And how amazing it has been to really realize that His grace for me will never run out. ever.

It is the most freeing feeling I've ever had.

Doesn't make my current trials and testings any easier, but I'm freed of the expectation I've put on myself that I have to have it all together.

I'm tellin' ya, it's really great, guys.

I apologize if this was too deep for you. Really, I do.

I've also been reflecting on my blog and why I actually want to keep it. I think I want this to be a place where I can share real stuff going on with my life (and also meaningless silly things) so I can maybe encourage at least one reader by being able to relate and know that their not alone. Quite a few blogs I follow have been an encouragement to me in that way and I want to be able to do the same. Again I say it, we'll see how this blogging thing shakes out!

Here's some photos of things from the past few weeks since I've been back.

1. Boyfriend helped me with some projects.

2. And he had a birthday.

He got new overalls.

2. We went to Bushwhackers for a surprise birthday celebration for our dear friend, Jenn.

3. A welcome home gathering was thrown for me. Jess taught us all a new game called "Oom Chi Chi" (I know, I totally butchered the spelling). Evidence of the game is below.

(On certain events, our differences amaze me sometimes. I'd be lying if I said I didn't like it.)

More things have happened and I'd love to post more pictures, but the new blogspot website has a new photo uploader thing and I'm struggling to figure it out... dumb technology.

Friday, January 6, 2012

This whole blogging thing is a lot harder to stay on top of now that I'm home.

I wasn't really expecting that.

How these insano bloggers do this every day, sometimes multiple times a day, is beyond me

(and by "insano bloggers", I mean extremely amazing bloggers because I wish I could do that and am kinda jealous that it comes naturally for you guys. I'm hoping I can be like that one day.)

An awesome new thing that I just starting using on my phone is the iCal app. I don't know why I didn't use it before, but it has been so useful! I don't forget anything and I feel so much more organized.

Since I've been using my iCal app, I've been able to put in the million weddings that are about to happen this year. I think I literally put in 7 weddings, 7 weddings, into my phone in one sitting. That's crazy but so exciting!

The most recent engagement is one of my best friends/old roommate. I'm so excited for ms anna edmonds and her new fiance, kenneth! The day after they got engaged a handful of us went out to Venti's Cafe & Tap House in Salem to celebrate their engagement.

Anna and I have only known each other for about 4 years now, but she's been alongside me during some of the most significant times in my life. We've gone on countless runs that consist of great conversations and had so many late night talks about our future guys and she's now engaged to hers!

I'm so excited for you, my friend!

You're really going to be the most beautiful bride.

I remember in high school thinking it was so weird that all of my friends and I were going to college because college was so old and then I thought it was nuts when everyone started graduating and getting real jobs (although I'm not at that point yet...) and becoming real life adults. And NOW, everrryyoone is getting married! Next, it's going to be buying houses and having babies. And then going on camping trips with old college friends and their families (I'm so excited for that!).

I have a feeling this next season of life is going to be full of new things. Having no expectations is something I'm trying to work on. Expectations kinda suck a little.