Do you know the balancings of the clouds, the wondrous works of the one whose knowledge is perfect, you whose garments are hot whe...n the earth is still because of the south wind? Can you, like him, spread out the skies, hard as a molten mirror?LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »

But a dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down--very important traits in times l...ike these. In fact, just as soon as a dog comes along who, in addition to these qualities, also knows when to buy and sell stocks, he can be moved right up to the boy's bedroom and the boy can sleep in the dog house.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »

In a world that holds books and babies and canyon trails, why should one condemn oneself to live day-in, day-out with people one d...oes not like, and sell oneself to chaperone and correct them?LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »

Some people say the business about the jolly fat person is a myth, that all of us chubbies are neurotic, sick, sad people. I disag...ree. Fat people may not be chortling all day long, but they're a hell of a lot nicer than the wizened and shriveled. Thin people turn surly, mean and hard at a young age because they never learn the value of a hot fudge sundae for easing tension. Thin people don't like gooey soft things because they themselves are neither gooey nor soft. They are crunchy and dull, like carrots. They go straight to the heart of the matter while fat people let things stay all blurry and hazy and vague, they way things actually are. Thin people want to face the truth. Fat people know there is no truth.... Thin people believe in logic. Fat people see all sides. The sides fat people see are rounded blobs, usually gray, always nebulous and truly not worth worrying about. But the thin person persists. "If you consume more calories than you burn," says one of my thin friends, "you will gain weight. It's that simple." Fat people always grin when they hear that. They know better.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »

Reading any collection of a man's quotations is like eating the ingredients that go into a stew instead of cooking them together i...n the pot. You eat all the carrots, then all the potatoes, then the meat. You won't go away hungry, but it's not quite satisfying. Only a biography, or autobiography, gives you the hot meal.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »

Surely, of all creatures we eat, we are most brutal to snails. Helix optera is dug out of the earth where he has been peacefully e...njoying his summer sleep, cracked like an egg, and eaten raw, presumably alive. Or boiled in oil. Or roasted in the hot ashes of a wood fire.... If God is a snail, Bosch's depictions of Hell are going to look like a vicarage tea-party.LESSATTRIBUTION DETAIL »