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Thursday, October 13, 2011

Jealousy

It must be a blogging kind of day. This morning I posted about how I am not feeling motivated to write... that I have anything interesting to say and now I feel the muse. I have thoughts that I want to share and things that I am pondering.

It's interesting how jealousy works. Today I looked at my friend Anna's blog. Holy crap she looks HOT! I mean, my jaw dropped to the floor and wanted to say, "Hubba hubba!" Not that she was not beautiful before, but the healthy glow is all around her. She is my inspiration for today. And tomorrow. And the next. In fact, I may print out her picture and carry it around with me (it's not weird, I swear... she was one of my best friends in college!).

But something interesting happened when I was looking at her blog. I got super jealous. And not just a little jealous, SUPER jealous. Motivated, but jealous. I haven't seen Anna in years. Probably 3 years. But some of my best memories of Anna are of us driving to Panera (the one in the rest stop in the middle of nowhere Ohio) to eat. Not only to eat, but to eat a lot. To eat without feeling guilty. That was our thing. We would eat and eat and even when I thought I couldn't possibly eat more... then we would go to Starbucks and get soy chai. Venti. With whip. Delicious. She was my "bigger" friend who would joke about being bigger with me. And we would talk about how frustrating Weight Watchers could be. (I asked her before I wrote all this, so in case you are wondering, she doesn't mind that I am telling you this.)

In 2008, At our rest stop in Ohio with our favorite barista!

Us eating samples at Panera!

Anna has been someone that I have lost weight alongside with. Even though we aren't in the same place. We have been losing around the same time. We have been at about the same amount of pounds lost and about the same body mass. And perhaps I do look like her and I just don't see it, but holy hell she looks smokin' and has lost 65 pounds. Should I be comparing? No. And I know that. As I tell my students, some people just get to their destinations faster. But that doesn't mean that I am not jealous. Because I am more jealous than I would have thought. More proud of her than she could possibly know, but jealous.

BUT.... I think that it's almost a good jealous. She reminds me that this is possible. That it's not just Jennifer Hudson on TV. I have my Weight Watchers friends that I see every week who look damn good too, but when you seem someone every week, you forget what the "old" them looks like. But since I haven't seen Anna in (too many) years, I wouldn't have know.

Anna, NOW!

So, in this standstill that I am in, I am hoping that Anna keeps me motivated. That she is my reminder. That I can join her at 65 pounds lost total. And then perhaps then she will write an entry about me. :-) For those of you that read this blog, I hope you have an Anna that keeps you motivated. Someone that really is an inspiration AND a beautiful person in and out.

(p.s... I really do want to post about the word exercise... perhaps that will be my entry tomorrow.)

2 comments:

I can totally empathize with you on this! While I don't have a specific friend who has lost weight in the same time that I have, I see fellow bloggers and friends on their paths to healthy lives and losing weight and I struggle. These same people tell me that I am an inspiration having come as far as I have, but I find myself so jealous of them because I still have so far to go.

Your friend looks great and I think it is great that you have someone to keep you inspired! :) I am also glad your muse is back! Sometimes things just start to flow and you have to jump on it!