Real Housewives

We're coming up on the final stretch of the season and, as the episode title implies, lines are starting to be drawn in the sand. As this season-long battle of manipulations, accusations and spinning of webs ramps up to its climax, we're heading halfway around the world for an Arabian adventure in Dubai. But first, we must pick up where we left off at the end of last week...

The episode kicks off in New York City, where Kyle Richards, Erika Girardi and Kathryn Edwards have come to attend the Global Lyme Alliance Gala and see Yolanda Foster accept an award for raising awareness of the debilitating disease. The women are blown away at the scope of the event, which is held at the iconic restaurant Cipriani. As Yolanda's daughter, supermodel Gigi Hadid, gives a heartwarming introduction of her mother to the audience, Kyle is already in tears. However, all I can think of is that she somehow stole her black-and-white Peter Pan collared dress straight out of the closet of Kris Jenner. I'm almost positive the Kardashian momager has worn the exact same outfit in the past. With the 'Wives looking on, Yolanda delivers her acceptance speech, revealing to the crowded room that both Bella and Anwar also have Lyme and vowing to continue searching until an affordable cure is found.

In her confessional, Kyle admits that she feels terribly guilty for ever doubting Yolanda or talking about the kids. Now that Kyle has learned about and seen the wide scope of lives touched by the disease, she's starting to feel differently about the situation. She voices this to Erika and Kathryn, and the newbies point out that ignorance can't be an excuse any longer and that both Lisa Rinna and Lisa Vanderpump were the ones talking about Yo the most. Kyle admits in her interview that if she knew what she knows now about Lyme disease, she would have shut down the Munchausen conversation and defended Yolanda more vehemently. Once Yo returns to the table, Kyle tearfully apologizes for her part in all the confusion and questioning. She gets it now. If only the other 'Wives could've been at the gala to learn about Lyme as well...

After returning to Beverly Hills for a quick packing montage and a scene of Lisa V. giving Max a brand-new Jeep, all the women (minus Yolanda) are ready to head to Dubai. I can't even express how much I love that Erika is secretly bringing her glam squad and a complete look book on the cast trip. Spending a week in such a conservative Middle Eastern country - where things like swearing and immodesty are punishable crimes - should be interesting for the ladies, to say the least. Any bets on who's going to be thrown in an Arabian jail cell first? (According to my Twitter poll during the episode, most of you think it'll be Lisa Rinna...) Dubai, here we come!

Following a nearly 19-hour flight, the Housewives arrive in the United Arab Emirates and are simply blown away by the glitz and extravagance surrounding them. They check into Atlantis, The Palm Dubai, which is described as a hotel but looks more like an imperial palace straight out of Agrabah. I mean, Kyle and Lisa V. are sharing two-bedroom suite that is nearly 10,000 square feet in total. Each of the women has a personal concierge available to her 24/7 around the clock during their stay. Eileen Davidson's room is a three-story underwater suite with sharks swimming past her windows. This is straight out of Sex and the City 2, but better because it's actually real and doesn't set feminism back half a century. It's RHONY's Season 4 trip to Morocco on steroids. (Sorry Carrie Bradshaw, I still love you.)

Meanwhile, back in Beverly Hills, the Fosters' Malibu estate has finally sold (for a measly $19.495 million - take that Dubrows!) and they're packing up to move. That's right: goodbye Yolanda's fridge. Goodbye lemon orchard. We'll miss you terribly. But lo and behold, look who has come to help: none of than former Housewife and certified villain of Beverly Hills Brandi Glanville! I'd recognize those legs for days anywhere. Now, I've never been remotely a Brandi fan whatsoever (#TeamKyle for life), but after 17 episodes away, I have to admit I don't hate to see her. However, there is simply no justification or logical reasoning for her new confessional look. B is giving us Studio-54-meets-I-Dream-of-Jeannie golden realness and it is utterly baffling. Rather than do any actual lifting, Yo fills the former 'Wife in on all the drama between her and the other women - specifically the Munchausen accusations coming from Lisa Rinna and all the drama from Camille Grammer's charity event. Brandi has a very specific message for Lisa R. and the wig B claims she wears: "get a fu***ing life, eat some food...and get some help." She takes it a step further by opining that this is just a classic example of how the Housewives operate in Beverly Hills - every season they prey on the weak.

Donning their prettiest Arabian caftans, the other 'Wives convene in Kyle and Lisa Vanderpump's room for some pre-dinner cocktails and baba ganoush. Naturally, conversation turns to the Lyme Gala in NYC as Kyle, Erika and Kathryn fill the Lisas and Eileen in on everything they missed. However, underlying tensions surrounding Yolanda's illness creep into the conversation as Erika tells Lisa Rinna the gala would've likely resolved some of the lingering doubts she's raised over the past few months. Rinna insists she's never doubted whether Yolanda was sick, she merely questions how Yo uses her illness to her advantage. According to Lisa Rinna, just because you have a chronic illness doesn't mean you shouldn't be held accountable for how you interact with the group. Is it any of her business? No. But she had strong opinions about it? Of course! Obviously, Erika sees the situation much differently and defends an absent Yolanda, but Lisa isn't budging. Erika concedes that Lisa Rinna can have whatever opinion she wants about Yo's illness, but points out that opinions are different from actual facts.

Moving on, Lisa Rinna maintains that she's "enraged" by seeing the picture on Twitter of Yo out with Kim Richards and Brandi. She's still upset that Yolanda hung with the former 'Wives rather than coming to Erika's dinner party that night. Erika, however, insists that she's fine with the situation. This, of course, prompts Lisa to pry a bit more about the dinner party and at this point it's just blatant pot-stirring. Erika admits that her dinner party didn't exactly go according to plan, but she's already moved on from the ugly encounter with Kathryn. Seriously, no more beating all the dead horses, please. After all, it's only the first night of the trip. Putting a stop to the brewing argument, Kyle suggests the women go out to the balcony to see the city. Looking out over the lights a world away from Beverly Hills, the episode ends with the 'Wives toasting to good health, happiness and friendship. How long do you think those good vibes will last?

What do you think of Yolanda's illness after seeing the gala? Are you ready for next week's super-sized 75-minute Arabian adventure? As always, leave your thoughts below in the comments and use the Share button to share this recap on social media!