During an extended weekend in November, I had the chance to visit the island of Borneo. The island is shared by three countries – Malaysia, Brunei, and Indonesia – and is the third largest island in the world; I visited the Malaysian part in Sabah. This was easily one of the most interesting places I’ve ever been and it taught me a lot about this island’s unique history and fusion of peoples and cultures.

Sabah City Mosque at dawn.

Though I traveled to the island during rainy season (which is not too different from Taipei’s), I lucked-out with the weather since it only rained the first day and second night I was there, giving me plenty of time to explore the city of Kota Kinabalu and the nearby islands, jungle, river, etc. As soon as I arrived, I realized how great a deal of multiculturalism was present, with a mix of Malay, Indian, Chinese, local indigenous, and other groups all present in the city and living together, eating together, and so on and so forth. I also saw the profound Muslim influence in Malaysia, with the Islamic Call to Prayer played publicly multiple times a day, wide array of halal food available in restaurants, and other cultural markers such as dress, though also saw many Catholic churches and other religious representation. Food was a brilliant mix of different cultures and local ingredients. The baozi 包子 I tried in a local Chinese restaurant easily rivaled and in my opinion surpassed those I’ve had in both Northern China and Taiwan.

A local home located on a hillside in an indigenous village in the jungle, about a 90 minutes drive from Kota Kinabalu.

As a student of Linguistics, I was quite impressed by the level of multilingualism on the island. I was told that in Sabah alone there were 72 languages spoken (likely including dialects) and most people living there could speak at least 2-3 languages fluently. At Chinese restaurants and stores, I ordered in Mandarin and no one batted an eye. British historical influence was also quite present. Cars drove on the left side of the road and English was very widely spoken, even among the older generations. Beyond the city, I was also able to travel to the more remote countryside areas of Sabah and see local life and industry. Coffee and tea – two of my favorite things arguably – were both locally grown and quite good. I heard several different opinions on Malaysia’s place in the world and learned of the rivalry between East and West Malaysia.

Whitewater rafting on the Kiulu River in Sabah.

Borneo seemed to offer it all in terms of things to do, with outdoor activities ranging from snorkeling in the crystal-clear oceans to rafting in the river to hiking in the vast swath of jungle landscape, though it still did not seem overrun by tourists (yet?) or otherwise inauthentic in any way. Malaysia itself is a relatively large country that varies so much from places like Kuala Lumpur to Penang, so any one thing shouldn’t be expected, but this trip offered me a much deeper insight into this cultural melting pot that admittedly I wasn’t fully expecting. In my case, leaving Taiwan helped me see it in a slightly different light upon returning, which is something everyone should keep in mind when studying abroad.

Zipline from Gaya island to Sapi island, which is the longest island-to-island zipline in the world.

“I pick you” shouts a tattered, stranger man from across the street.I look up to see his scraggly finger pointing in my direction.He stepped off the opposite curb and began moving towards me.“But I don’t pick you,” I shouted back.My friend grabbed my arm and pulled me closer to her.She said jokingly “sorry, but she’s mine.”In my blue dress, I continued to walk down the sidewalk with five other girls by my side.To him, I was nothing more than a body.The body of a woman he felt justified to sexualize and objectify.

I arrived back to our hostel.I looked in the mirror and saw my exposed arms and legs in my short, blue dress.I changed quickly into joggers and a long sleeve tee, an outfit that covered my skin and my feminine curves.Now, looking back, I hate that I did that.I hate that I let the sleazy man affect my mind and my behaviors.Because in that moment, I saw only what he saw — the body of a woman.Nothing more, nothing less.

“So where are you from?” asked my tour guide.“The United States,” I responded.His face said it all.My answer was not adequate.Where was my light skin, my pointy nose, my wide eyes?“No but where…”, before he could finish I cut in.“I was adopted from China”.This answer was satisfactory.He only stopped when his ethnocentric ideals were proven.I fit the stereotypical mold of an Asian.I, however, did not fit the stereotypical mold of an American.Despite me living in the United States and holding an American passport, he would not accept me as an American.The tour guide proceeded to take out his phone and show me pictures of himself with Asians.“This is my brother’s girlfriend from Taiwan.Isn’t she pretty?”.In my head, I was taking out my phone and showing him all my photos with white people.But on the outside I humored the bigot’s microaggression and smiled like the passive woman of color I was expected to be.Now, looking back, I hate that I didn’t speak up for myself, for Asians, for people of color.I hate that I let the ignorant man affect my mind and my behaviors.Because in that moment, I saw only what he saw — the body of an Asian.Nothing more, nothing less.

In these instances, I felt like the only thing I had to offer the world was my body.My body that just so happened to be female and Asian.My mind was of no importance.My personality was of little interest.And my opinions, perspectives, and experiences — all irrelevant.

It’s fascinating and heartbreaking to travel across countries all with the binding construct of a social hierarchy.The amount of respect, dignity, and humanity you receive is based on your placement on this hierarchy.You have no control.You have no influence.Society has the final judgement, labeling you as a superior, equal, or inferior.Why is this the accepted norm?Why is this okay to nations, communities, individuals?I share my stories to demonstrate how rude acts of ignorance, even if small, perpetuate dehumanization.

There’s growing popularity of the false notion that the way you dress can, will, and should affect the way you are treated.As I walked down the streets of Cape Town, my blue dress caught a particular man’s eye.My blue dress caused distraction and attraction.My dress allowed him to label me as property.Property that could be easily chosen and then discarded.I should be obedient and honored that he would “pick” me.My dress demoted my human status to object status.If I hadn’t worn such a “revealing” outfit, I would have been treated as a proper woman.I wouldn’t have been catcalled.I wouldn’t have been objectified.As the woman, I am the one to accept the blame.It is my job to behave within the standards of appropriateness and sophistication.This idea is ridiculous.Clothing is not the perpetrator.My actions, as a woman, should not be dictated by the limited self-control of a man.Patriarchy and misogyny is excused while women are blamed — while I am blamed.

My program, thankfully, is not short on feminist women and their allies.I have ample support from intelligent, creative, beautiful women with different perspectives across limitless topics.Nonetheless, my support falls short in the area of race.In a group of 25 students, over half of them are people of color.Nonetheless, I am the only one who identifies as Asian.I did not understand how much comfort and support my Asian friends provided until they were no longer there.Within the group, I have sympathizers but no empathizers.On days when the world seems to grab at my feet, pulling me backward, situations like these make me feel like a blank canvas, an empty body.My self-confidence diminishes and my accomplishments are forgotten.These seem to slip my mind but, thankfully, are fully appreciated and vocalized by my peers.Those days do inevitably come but seem to be few and far in-between.

The past 12 weeks of my life have been hard, but they have also been so full of joy and growth.I would not trade a single moment of my abroad experience.It’s been a main contributor to the development of the individual I am today.I am a woman.I am Asian.And I am proud to say that I am both.However, I am also a daring adventurer who flew over the coast of South Africa, ziplined over waterfalls, and snorkeled with seals.I am also a vulnerable and compassionate individual who studies with the hope of promoting and progressing health as a human right.I am also a sarcastic ass who will not pass up an opportunity to make a joke.These are all things my body cannot show alone.These are all things society cannot come to understand when they limit me to a spot on a hierarchy.But I have come to understand, societal constructs are not my loss — it’s theirs.

Despite the ocean temperature barely reaching 50 degrees, snorkeling with seals was a great experience!

True friends cheer you on as you fly over waterfalls.

We went dwelling in the Congo Caves that were formed millions of years ago from something as simple, yet as powerful as water.