Death takes the red eye.

03Oct

They always say things happen in threes.

Usually its about deaths, but I notice that when somebody famous dies, then two more, everyone spouts the “These things happen in threes” line, and then everyone pretends not to notice when a fourth or fifth dies.

Odd how that is.

I think death tends to scare us and the sooner we can quit thinking about it, the better.

I don’t have that luxury.

I am Irish.

We have this thing about death that almost borders on ancestor worship.

My ex used to claim we wallow in death.

I disagree.

We don’t wallow, we just don’t ignore it.

If you don’t get that last statement, you have obviously never been to a proper wake.

And yes, the drinking is a necessary part of it.

How else can you tell the foulest story about the dearly departed unless you are properly snockered?

Some things don’t happen in threes.

Children usually don’t.

Car accidents usually don’t, mainly because most people have only one car.

Movies rarely happen in threes.

And when they do, they usually suck.

I am talking about the Crocodile Dundee franchise.

The first one? Epic. Breath of fresh air. Awesome.

2 and 3? Not so much. Set new records for suck.

See also crap.

Note that this does not apply to the Lord of the Rings or Pirates of the Caribbean franchises.

They are golden. Great stories, exceptionally well done.

And huge box office.

The kind of big box office receipts that general piles of “Fuck you” money for all concerned.

But back to death.

Death is one of those things you can’t avoid.

There was actually a movie about 5 kids that managed to get out of a situation that they all should have died in.

And for the rest of the film, death tried its best to kill them, the idea being that you can’t get away from death.

But what if death gets away from you?

There was an old cartoon that I had hanging on my wall for years..

In the cartoon, death, in black cowl, carrying a sickle in one skeletal hand, is floating down the beach, carrying a picnic basket in the other hand.

With a bunch of little death’s following behind.

“Death takes a holiday.”

You gotta wonder where that phrase comes from.

I don’t think they had seen this cartoon when whoever coined the phrase.

That would be pretty neat.

Death takes a holiday, and NOBODY dies.

They just stack up, people that cannot die.

And then when death comes back from a week on the slopes in Whistler.

People drop like flies.

Ok, so I was going for laughs and ended up in this sort of creepy place.