Tabloid magazine editors care about one thing and one thing only: Using thier every waking moment to dream up crazy and dramatic ways to make the world hate Jessica Simpson (they’ve been doing this ever since they finally got bored with forcing us all to feel sorry for Jennifer Aniston). So we can’t say we’re altogether surprised that the creative “truth artists” over at Star magazine found a way to drag poor Jessica into the festering mess that the Tiger Woods scandal has become.

Come on, Star. You’re better than that. If you’re just going to make things up about Tigergate, at least step up your game to UsWeekly levels by hiring so-called experts to explain, scientifically, how everything Tiger Woods has ever done proves he’s a total scumbag.