Posts Tagged ‘Vladimir Putin’

Vladimir Putin is said to be ‘tight-lipped’ today after Western intelligence sources indicated that the Russian build-up of troops in the Crimea has been undermined by logistical difficulties in the ‘hat department’.

Barrack Obama has stepped up the rhetoric in the dispute with Vladimir Putin over Russia’s actions in Ukraine, confirming that any further threats to Ukrainian sovereignty would lead to drastic action, starting with a full and non-negotiable export ban on Disney films.

As the stand-off between Russia and Ukraine continues, the Illuminati are cackling with glee as their plans for world domination through manipulation of the London property market fall quietly into place.

The result of the bidding to be the next country to be invaded by Russia during an Olympics are set to be announced at a glitzy ceremony in St Tropez later today.

The competition hasn’t been as fierce as expected in the race to follow in the footsteps of Poland in 1920, Hungary in 1956, the 1968 event in Czechoslovakia and the more recent hosts Georgia and Ukraine as had been expected.

David Cameron and Barack Obama have today ruled out the possibility of taking any military action in Ukraine, on the grounds that Russia definitely does have Weapons of Mass Destruction. ‘We don’t need to send in Hans Blix to justify anything this time’, explained the Prime Minister.