EvilButTwinless (9:06:29 PM):
WTF is Cash Cab? How is there a show on TV I've never even heard of?
Bob Barker has this category sewn up, I assume. Is there anyone on the
planet more condescending than Alex Trebek?

promisingingenue (9:06:42 PM): I have this weird thing against game shows. I can't explain it.

promisingingenue (9:18:52 PM): Oh, it's clips from Guiding Light, as if this will make it a real show that actually exists

EvilButTwinless (9:19:11 PM): I know, aren't they cute?

promisingingenue (9:20:33 PM): I still can't believe that Thad Luckinbill's name is Thad Luckinbill

EvilButTwinless (9:22:11 PM): I seriously thought that was a character's name.

EvilButTwinless (9:24:13 PM): Julie Marie Berman was robbed!

promisingingenue (9:24:41 PM): Wow, I really thought she had it locked up

EvilButTwinless (9:24:45 PM): As the World Turns is another show I'm not actually convinced exists, by the way.

promisingingenue (9:26:13 PM): They really need to give me more of a warning before they show Lisa Rinna

EvilButTwinless (9:26:23 PM): "KMart Studio Blue with Lisa Rinna" might be one of the saddest phrases in the history of mankind.

EvilButTwinless (9:27:17 PM): Oh my god, Rick Hearst just passive-aggressively slammed Brian Frons, too! I need for him to be president of everything, everywhere.

promisingingenue (9:27:59 PM): Seriously, that was a stunning moment

promisingingenue (9:31:57 PM): I really can't look at Cameron Mathison without wanting to kick him in the shins

EvilButTwinless (9:33:01 PM): You are really going to have to fill me in more about him, because I evaluate him totally on a shallow level and find him hot. I promise to assist with the shin-kicking as soon as I'm armed with the requisite knowledge, though.

promisingingenue (9:33:37 PM): Can you imagine if Tyra won an Emmy? There would be no living with her

EvilButTwinless (9:34:27 PM): Ellen rightfully kicks all their asses. Thank god. Still a pity about the KFC mascot outfit, however.

promisingingenue (9:34:46 PM): Couldn't Portia help her out?

EvilButTwinless (9:35:59 PM): I thought that's what stylish life partners were for, but apparently not. I LOVE all the passive-aggressiveness tonight. Ellen praising Rosie was awesome. And "I think Bob Barker is a quitter" is going to be hard to beat as the line of the night.

promisingingenue (9:36:55 PM): I'm sure it will shock you to learn that I was once obsessed with Reading Rainbow

EvilButTwinless (9:37:23 PM): Totally shocking. BTW, I am going to laugh myself into a coma over the fact that Austin Peck does, in fact, have duh face in real life.

promisingingenue (9:39:15 PM): It's so good to see him again! My life had a big duh-face shaped void in it

EvilButTwinless (9:39:39 PM): I find it fascinating that puppeteers win Emmys. I also find puppeteers a bit creepy. I know this is wrong, so please don't shame me.

promisingingenue (9:40:15 PM): You're going to hell

EvilButTwinless (9:41:31 PM): Well then I might as well add that I vehemently hate the "viewer input" clips.

EvilButTwinless (9:43:56 PM): Viewer input, as far as I can tell is limited to two categories: totally obvious (Ellen is funny!) and utterly inexplicable (Dr. Phil is really insightful!). As a result of the puppet wins, I also just realized that I never see Sesame Street while channel-surfing, which led to my further realization that I have no idea what channel PBS is on here. Which I momentarily explained by the fact that I only moved back to this area recently. But then I remembered it has been five years. So basically, I have no culture in my life whatsoever.

EvilButTwinless (9:44:44 PM): I like the two actors, but as a soap couple Belle and Shawn could seriously not suck more if they made a concerted effort to do so. Also, I must object to Brandon Beemer not being shirtless.

promisingingenue (9:45:13 PM): It really should be part of his contract

promisingingenue (9:46:14 PM): The guy from Passions is a "younger" actor?

EvilButTwinless (9:46:46 PM): He is younger than at least one other actor in daytime, which I believe is the criteria.

EvilButTwinless (9:50:56 PM): You are not allowed to start watching another soap. Especially not one that features Hunter Tylo. Your insurance won't cover the additional therapy.

promisingingenue (9:51:29 PM): I meant intriguing as in "Interesting, but I'll forget about it in thirty seconds. Ooh, look, something shiny"

EvilButTwinless (9:51:39 PM): Good girl.

EvilButTwinless (9:53:18 PM): Haaaaa! How awful a person do you have to be for your wife to want to go to a The Price Is Right taping for your honeymoon? Dr. Phil, your lameness knows no bounds.

promisingingenue (9:53:50 PM): And he's oblivious to the fact that he sucks so much

EvilButTwinless (9:56:20 PM): I'm sure some people think that's part of his "charm." But some people are stupid. Lots of people are stupid, actually. Which, overall, is an important ingredient in daytime TV programming.

EvilButTwinless (9:56:49 PM): Will you lock me out of the site if I say I think Lisa Rinna actually looks really good tonight?

promisingingenue (9:57:23 PM): She's less frightening than usual. But god, she needs to take it down, like, fourteen notches

EvilButTwinless (9:57:52 PM): True. She's way too excited about being in a room named after KMart.

EvilButTwinless (10:03:09 PM): LUKE AND LAURA!!!! Eeeeee! Sorry, I momentarily channeled Chandra Wilson. Genie Francis seriously looks insanely good. I have about ten problems with what Tony Geary is wearing but I'm not going to mention any of them because I like him too much.

promisingingenue (10:04:33 PM): Yeah, I'm all about focusing on what Genie is wearing. Gorgeous

promisingingenue (10:04:44 PM): I hope Michelle Stafford wins just because she looks amazing

EvilButTwinless (10:05:22 PM): I know nothing about her, other than that she appears to be the fittest human being on the planet.

EvilButTwinless (10:07:15 PM): Since As the World Turns doesn't really exist, I don't know who Maura West is. I hope this Emmy is well-deserved. I'm pretty much picketing this category because Nancy Lee Grahn wasn't nominated.

promisingingenue (10:09:58 PM): Eeeee!!! Peter Bergman! He has the best voice ever. Ever!

EvilButTwinless (10:11:03 PM): Okay, I kind of understand your crush now. He is one handsome man. And his voice is dreamy.

promisingingenue (10:12:01 PM): I'm saying! It's nice that you almost recognize it now--it's nice not to be judged (for that, I mean)

promisingingenue (10:12:18 PM): What is with these weird "tributes"? Like "Some cool people did some cool things. That's all you need to know! Bye!"

EvilButTwinless (10:13:54 PM): "We salute you! You are amazing! You are a pillar of our entertainment community! We just don't want you to come up on stage or actually address anyone. 'K thanks, bye!"

promisingingenue (10:15:21 PM): They could not have taken the camera off of Lee Philip Bell faster if they tried.

EvilButTwinless (10:15:52 PM): Did the sleazy professor from GH get a prime-time gig with Jimmy Smits?! Is there no justice in the world, anywhere?!

EvilButTwinless (10:17:50 PM): Well, thank god. I would much rather an imaginary show win for best writing than GH. Guza was already emboldened by the nomination, though, let's be honest. F'ing idiotic Emmy voters. They should never get puppies; their carpets would be filled with pee. You do not reward bad behavior!

EvilButTwinless (10:19:48 PM): I'm going to be laughing about Vivica trying to appear relevant to the Daytime Emmys based on her appearance on Generations 20 years ago for many months to come. I can't believe they indulged her by letting her present! They should have made her be a seat filler.

promisingingenue (10:20:20 PM): At least she didn't use the opportunity to mention how 50 Cent did her wrong

EvilButTwinless (10:22:26 PM): What the HELL is Elisabeth Hasslebeck wearing?! Are those giant polka dots? Who even makes giant polka-dotted maternity wear? And why did she let Barbara's hairstylist do her hair? Also, isn't Mystic Tan harmful to fetuses?

promisingingenue (10:23:21 PM): I couldn't even look at her. It was so wrong

EvilButTwinless (10:31:37 PM): Okay, pop quiz: Which is the most off-putting: Tyra's weave, Tyra's dress, or Tyra pimping her own show while presenting an award to other people for their shows? (Hint: There is no wrong answer.)

promisingingenue (10:32:00 PM): Elmo is hitting on Tyra Banks

promisingingenue (10:32:08 PM): ...

promisingingenue (10:32:41 PM): Her show won Emmys for hair and makeup? Was the word hair in quotes on the statuette?

EvilButTwinless (10:33:42 PM): A puppet with a hand up its ass just totally stole Tyra Banks' thunder, and it was beautiful.

promisingingenue (10:35:25 PM): Are they not showing clips? Why are they not showing clips?!

EvilButTwinless (10:35:43 PM): It's okay, you can look at the 1500 Peter Bergman clips you have on your hard drive.

promisingingenue (10:36:00 PM): Okay, seriously, did that just happen?

promisingingenue (10:36:10 PM): DID I JUST HALLUCINATE PETER BERGMAN LOSING?

EvilButTwinless (10:36:20 PM): And Tony Geary losing.

EvilButTwinless (10:37:16 PM): You watch Y&R -- who is this guy? Was he involved in that murderous thighs incident?

promisingingenue (10:37:27 PM): I just...I need a second to process this

EvilButTwinless (10:49:12 PM): Woohoo, Ellen! I want her never to pull her name from contention and just kick everyone's butt for decades. One question, though...the people who nominated Tyra Banks' show as one of the best on the air, do they actually watch television?

promisingingenue (10:50:13 PM): I guess they were really moved by the episodes where she went undercover and also told people to kiss her fat ass.

promisingingenue (10:53:06 PM): I am still laughing over the fact that GH wasn't even nominated

promisingingenue (10:53:24 PM): A tie?!?!

EvilButTwinless (10:54:04 PM): It's even better that TWO shows won and GH wasn't even eligible to lose. I love it. But I must once again state that I'm not sure Guiding Light exists. I will require further documentation.

promisingingenue (10:54:45 PM): I totally forgot that Ellen Wheeler was Guiding Light's executive producer! I remember hearing that once upon a time

EvilButTwinless (10:56:01 PM): Oh hell, did you just pass out in disgust? Y&R is tied for being the best show on daytime television. Don't you feel bad about having a side job detailing the myriad ways in which it sucks?

promisingingenue (10:56:49 PM): I feel bad that actual talented performers have to be on the same stage as Adrienne Frantz right now

Guiding Light exists and is really a great show! IT IS!!! And *was*, very much so, in the 80s and early 90s. Watch some old Beth (young, YOUNG Judi Evans) and Phillip clips on YouTube and you'll see! But it's on at ridiculously early times in most markets, especially on the west coast.... so NO ONE watches it. Including myself. Even though I think it's a great show. Shame, really.

Maura totally deserves it. Those scenes they put on the reel were probably her best ever. Now, if her partner Michael Park wins Best Actor, all will be well. Well, it would have been if Van Hasis would have gotten Younger Actor. Bryton?! Seriously?!

They showed the two of them together on the red carpet but they were there with f'ing Frons to promote Night Shift, and they didn't even come within inches of touching each other. He just hotly stood there and hotly pimped the new show. I don't know if they're there together.

Aw, Louise and J.P., don't thank us, we had a blast! It was really too much fun. And it brought in more daily visitors than we've ever had, so that was a nice bonus.

soapunk, I suspected it might be true, but it is good to have confirmation that Jason Thompson is hotly trailblazing the erosion of the sexuality divide. Also, we added that GL question into our awesome moment poll just for you and the six other people who watch the allegedly real Guiding Light.