14 FIFA officials have been charged with corruption and their President is facing calls to resign, but that hasn’t stopped football’s governing body from rolling out the red carpet for the opening ceremony of its annual conference today.

Maybe they were hoping the FBI would be distracted by their glamarous host:

Or perhaps these scantily clad female dancers:

If not, there was this dude singing Swiss power ballads:

With a ballerina:

And this lady blowing some sort of Swiss national horn:

And this guy playing the drums:

All culminating bizarrely with a lady pirouetting in a circle again and again:

And fire. Lots of fire.

You wouldn’t know their bosses had just had their doors kicked down in morning raids, would you?