I Thought I Wasn't Orgasmic

For the benefit of your readers, I’ll explain what you and I already know. I’m 47 and I came to you for a private session because I thought I wasn’t having orgasms. I was masturbating a few times per week, but I didn’t think anything significant was happening. My lack of success was affecting my self-esteem and confidence, and I worried that it would interfere with partner sex and my relationship.

After reading my sexual history, you told me that that I was orgasmic, that those shocks of pleasure I described, were orgasms. Who knew?! I’d seen your recent video on what an orgasm feels like, and I understood that orgasms range from small to large, that they’re all different and not always a mind blowing event. Yet, I remained convinced that I was missing out. My girlfriend sees a light show when she comes, and many years ago I had one with vaginal contractions, which I’ve never been able to replicate.

Talking with you made me realize that my perspective of an orgasm was limited to vaginal contractions and a light show. You told me that each one of those small pleasure shocks was like the emergence of a seedling; I was dismissing them as unimportant. You said that if I wanted bigger ones, I just needed to enjoy the small ones, and for that matter, enjoy any pleasurable feeling. Build on the pleasure I have and continue to explore what feels good. You reminded me that our culture, (like the current series Masters of Sex) goes by a male model of arousal and climax and that women’s orgasms follow a different pattern.

Hearing you tell me directly that I’m orgasmic has freed me up to whole heartedly enjoy masturbation and partner sex. I also love the eroscillator, which you introduced to me. I never thought I could become addicted to a vibrator….