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The Top 10 Festivus Grievances of 2008

10. People who type “LOL” when they’re not laughing out loud (followed by “People who say–not type–LOL”).

9. Networks that cancel shows mid-year without resolving the story lines!

8. Eagles–all that national recognition for what? The only real difference between eagles and vultures is that one is better looking than the other. What would we be saying about people if we applied the same standard?

7. Facebook friend requests for people I went to high school with who never talked to me in high school.

6. Fans of Star Trek–it’s over and it wasn’t ever that good anyway.

5. People who put the flap of toilet paper against the wall instead of near the toilet (followed by an “Amen, brother”).

4. Chinese lead factories–can’t you just send us some safe toys?

3. The misconception that the early bird catches the worm–Chuck Norris always catches the worm.

2. That Somali pirates don’t talk like pirates.

And the top Festivus grievance of 2008…

1. High School Musical. Where did you come from, and when will you return to that abyss?