Trouble on the Long Old Road

A story.

The party has noticed the absence of the beloved Dragonborn Warlock/Wizard, Cassius Karkos. For many weeks now, Cassius had some other business to attend to. Mostly ritual killing more level one characters in graveyards to try to please Great Cthulu.

Great Cthulu was not pleased.

The old god found that the usefulness of Cassius had come to an end, signaled mostly by the servant possessing freewill. Servants aren’t supposed to have freewill.

So Cassius was banished back to the Nine-Hells, with all the other people who made deals with demons for power.

Cassius is gone.

But people are talking about this guy Marcus new in the Kingdom of Eastmarsh. He’s looking for a group of people that also seek Strength. But he seeks Honor as well. If your party needs a master tactician, and guy who loves fighting, hit up Marcus.

a series of idiotic decisions

Today, everyone died. I hate it when that happens.
What? You want to hear what happened? Oh, fine!

Ah-ahem.

Following the cave-in of the catacombs and burning of the town, Team Wehaventthoughtofaname (patent pending) set off across a lake to the island where the villagers buried their dead. Along the way, JjJjJjJjJj got stoned again and almost died yet again, and Ban actually died, yet again. Upon reaching the island, everyone climbed up a cliff. JjJjJjJjJj, who got up second, ate some wild mushrooms and went into a fit of madness, running off screaming. Meanwhile, Mazek erected a hut spell for everyone’s long rest, Js notwithstanding, and all of the people in the force dome went to sleep for a long rest.

Eventually, the madness wore off, and JjJjJjJjJj stopped running. Since a screaming nudist running across an island is bound to attract all the zombies which no-one thought weren’t of course there. JjJjJjJjJj then ran to the edge of the island and along the coast to the boats they all came on. Seeing the hut dome, JjJjJjJjJj levitated on top and laid down for a short rest.

Ban was having none of that. Having woken up earlier, he was not pleased to be looking at the underside of a nudist. Therefore, instead of attacking the horde of bloated zombies that followed JjJjJjJjJj back for the safety of the dome, he shot thrice upward at the hapless nudist, even hitting a nut. Then, he used his last arrow for the zombies because why not? This woke up Mumble (pronounced “mmfphm”), who then decimated some of the zombies. Meanwhile, Mazek and the others woke up, and the dome ran out. Thankfully, Mazek created another, but not before JjJjJjJjJj fell in and healed.

Once Mumble ran out of spells, he was let back into the dome, and Cassius and JjJjJjJjJj went on top to replace him. Before they could get any attacks in, though, Stan decided to start a melee with the exploding necrotic zombies, which is of course a great idea. Not only was this inadvisable by itself, but it also forced a battle order, which barred Cassius and JjJjJjJjJj from attacking until their turns. The final blow to the team, however, was the lowering of the shield from the necrotic explosions in favor of causing more of said explosions with a fireball, courtesy of Mazek. In total, everyone in the party was doused with 130 points of necrotic damage. Whether this was truly the end, as well as how or if the party can continue, has yet to be decided by God. Please consult God for any questions on the subject.

We say good bye to an old friend... amd welcome a new, smaller, one

We start our sad tale after our heroes finish off the last of the wights and are preparing to leave the tower. Noticing that the tower has been set ablaze by Pakon’s curious lighting of a fire, the group swiftly moves to leave the tower. Upon exiting, Stan the Man notices a large object inside the courtyard… so he charges, and is promptly squashed from a flying boulders. Noticing his companion’s demise, Mazek Stormleaf grabs JjJjJjJjJj and Shrek Ajdar, and pulls them behind the wall so that they will not follow in Stan’s footsteps. While Shrek and JjJjJjJjJj retreat, Mazek fires arrows at the source of the boulder that killed Stan. Miraculously, while Mazek is covering the retreat of his party members, Stan gets up! Pausing to heal himself, Stan then continues his valiant and boneheaded charge towards what Mazek now recognizes as Stone Giants. Looking around at the companions currently with him, and realizing how screwed they were, Mazek quickly casts flaming sphere and slowly moves it towards the giants, with Stan following the sphere. Stan mistakenly stands next to the orb, and gets burned. Soon after, Stan gets liquefied by another boulder. Seeing this, Mazek retreats back to Stonekeep. Upon returning to Stonekeep, ensuring that JjJjJjJjJj and Shrek returned safely, Mazek makes his way back to the lost city in order to retrieve Stan’s remains and reincarnate him. Once again at Stonekeep, after retrieving Stan, Mazek sells the group’s loot and Stan’s property for the 5000 gold needed for the spell. After some magic is completed, Stan wakes up! But, something is off. For he is no longer Stan the Man, but Stan the Half-Man, as he is now a Halfling, and not a human. And thus, the story of Stan the Half-Man ends.

Goblin Hunting

Returning to Marion after exploring the temple in the lost city Kernn, a new opportunity arose, goblin hunting. Belril Pegason hired the party to hunt down a goblin war pack at the price of 50 gold per scalp. The party was sidetracked, but eventually, tracked down the pack of goblins. After demolishing the pack located in an old keep, the party realized that there are two packs instead of one. The party is currently hot on the trail the second pack.

City of Kernn

Hired to help protect a The Pegason’s Trading Company caravan, Party Leader Mazek Stormleaf, and Gnome Tinkerer and Dementia Patient Marin Melavious are joined by others in the human port city of Marion. The party sets off on the trip to the Dwarven city of Stonekeep, travelling along the old road. After running into, and defeating, a few giant centipedes and a few desiccated zombies, a huge sand storm came in and blew the caravan off of its course, and deep into the desert waste. After wandering about the waste for a day, the party discovered the lost city of Kernn.