“The determined geek parent can now turn to a growing category of products, known as Babytronics, meant to help with the exhilarating and exhausting task of keeping infants happy and healthy, if not dry,” reads the report. The writer then embarks on testing out some of the latest cutting-edge Babytronics tech on his two young daughters.

For runny noses, the battery-powered Cleanoz MB002 nasal aspirator did the job. It gets “the messy work done quickly, before the baby recovers from the shock of having a handgun-shaped noisemaker stuffed up her nostril.”

Language measurement

The BébéSounds range includes a Prenatal Heart-Listener ($29/£15), enabling parents to record the heartbeat of a fetus. The AlwaysClean Pacifier ($11.99/ £6) is a dummy that stays clean, while the Portable Video and Sound Monitor ($189/ £95) lets you watch your little smashers as they sleep.

For those parents who are concerned about cot-death, the report recommends the Angel Care Movement Sensor ($74/£37). It alerts you immediately if your baby doesn't make any movement for over 20 seconds.

Finally, the LENA System ($399/£200) is a rather bizarre ‘language-measurement tool’ which records the number of words you say to your baby and tells you how you match up against the national average.

"On some days it was like, 'we really didn't talk to you at all today, did we?'" said the IHT article.