Ahoy, ladies and blogglemen! I'd never have imagined mere soup to be such a hotly contested topic. (Or, in the case of gazpacho, a coldly contested topic). I've got something planned for this week's question, but first, the forums. There were quite a few questions asked about the forums in the comments to my last post. Most of the answers to them have already been posted in the forums, and the ones which haven't been, I'm not in a good position to answer as I'm not based in the office. (I am a sad Gaea. I want a tentacle couch too.) I would, however, like to re-reassure you that your passwords and credit card information are safe.

Onwards! As a new OM, I'm spending quite a lot of time hanging around on the docks. A lot of newer pirates have never seen an OM before, and once they get past "why is your name blue?" (because I'm a game employee), and "do you get paid?" (yes), and when they've moved on to "can I be an OM?" (if you apply when they're hiring, maybe), they want to know if I used to be a player (no, I'm very loyal. Oh. Oh, I see.) Joking aside, newer and experienced players have been asking me who my "civilian" pirate is, and who the other OMs' pirates are. Now, I checked, and while I can't tell you explicitly, what I can do is offer you some clues. If you're in possession of a fine deductive mind and a bit of patience, this should narrow it down a bit.

More than three OMs have first names in real life which do not begin with the letter "Q". (Whodathunkit?)

None of the OMs are nuns. Currently.

Surprisingly few OMs live in Tuvalu.

Similarly, there are no OMs living in the Vatican. Currently. (SEE: Nuns.)

Several ex-members of Monty Python are not OMs. Or even ex-OMs. This includes anyone who has joined the Choir Invisible, is pushing up daisies, or is otherwise pining for the fjords.

On a related note, while none of us pine for the fjords, some of us pine for Fords. (Mustangs in particular. 1968 is the preferred year, blue, with the white stripes. If you have one which is cramping your style and would like to offload it, please send a petition marked "Attn: Gaea".)

None of us have a solid gold rocket car, because the mass of gold would make rocketry highly impractical considering the cost of and current state of rocket fuel technology. This is why we use gold leaf over a frame of balsa wood, held together with chewing gum and sheer charisma.

Every single person working for Three Rings is over eighteen years of age, and under ninety-eight years of age.

More than half of the OMs play pirates of the same or opposite gender as the real-life person.

There you have it: tantalizing clues about the real-life identities of the Oceanmasters. For the record, I am only lying about one item. None of us have enough chewing gum to hold together that much balsa wood. Yet.