The observations and rantings of a (slightly) mad Scotswoman.

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You can have New Year – or New Years as the Americans call it. I’m a Scot and today – Hogmanay – belongs to us.

2012 could have been worse – but not much so I’m looking to the new year with a healthy dose of optimism tinged with my usual cynicism. A curious mix, to be sure, but it’s stood me in good stead up till now.

So, it only remains for me to say:

Here’s tae us,
Wha’s like us?
Gie few,
An’ they’re a’ deid.

Hope 2013’s as good for you as you can dream or imagine. To expound on Oscar Wilde from the title of this blog: “We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.” Not a bad sentiment, that and one I like to adhere to – when I can ignore my inner cynic, that is…

I don’t consider myself a particularly well-educated woman. As an avid reader, though, I fell in love with the language and all the magical places to which it could transport me when I was very young – pre-school, in fact. And it’s the love of the language which causes me to lament the current trend of “can’t be arsedness” which seems to plague the majority of people who make their presence felt on “teh interwebz”.

A particular peeve of mine re: the language is this sudden proclivity to be “bored of” things or any other derivatives which seem to make people think that using “of” instead of “with” or “by” is perfectly acceptable.

IT.
IS.
NOT!

Not in my universe, at least. Can’t people hear how illiterate it sounds? Doesn’t it make them feel like someone is dragging fingernails slowly down a blackboard in their heads? Or am I alone in cringing whenever I hear or read of someone being “bored of” whatever the hell they think needs to be prefaced with such a palatable hit on what’s left of the language? Am I beginning to be a little more than “slightly” mad?

And don’t start me on “should of”. (Takes a deep, steadying breath.) Are people so illiterate these days that they simply copy phonetics? Is this fashion for being thick, this “cult of the illiterate” which seems to be springing up everywhere, as though having any sort of education is somehow repulsive to today’s youth, so attractive that it’s also seeping through to adults? For yes, there are so many adults using this frankly ridiculous language – is it simply for fashion? Is it to somehow make them look young on the internet? Is there a fear of being perceived as being “old” which causes otherwise rational adults to adopt this de rigueur stupidity?

Excuse me while my blood boileth over for a few…

To whom it may concern. The words “should of” is a phonetic mistake. Your ears think you hear “should of” when, what you’re actually hearing is “should’ve” the contraction of “should HAVE”. Just because ‘ve SOUNDS like of does not mean it is. Because “should of” simply makes no grammatical sense, now does it? Are we clear on that? Excellent…

Okay, perhaps some people just really don’t know that it’s “should’ve” and not “should of”. If a day passes without learning something new, it’s a day wasted, so if you didn’t know the difference, let today be your day for learning something new and no hard feelings. Should have, not should of. Not too difficult, really. I am not attacking people who simply don’t know any better – I am attacking those who should know better but are encouraging this rank stupidity to continue.

And yes, I know people make mistakes sometimes, it happens to us all and I’m no exception. We all make spelling errors, typos etc. and that’s fine – but this is just evil! This is a language fashion in which I can see no good at all. Every decade has its buzzwords, its linguistic fashions, its slang – and that’s fine. (Hell, I’ve even learned to use pronouns at the end of a sentence and not have a panic attack!) But this affectation of being thick just leaves me cold. This idea that it’s not cool to be educated speaks of a much greater wrong in society which, I fear, isn’t being addressed. And it’s damaging. As more and more people think that a scrape-by measure of literacy is fine, standards in education will drop as more money-hungry capitalists start cutting back on non-fee-paying education. You know it’s going to happen. Do we really want to return to the days of education only being for the wealthy? Am I being paranoid? Impossible. This is my blog and that’s simply not allowed. And I am unanimous in that. Besides, I’ve seen enough capitalist-oriented governments snatch as much as they can away from the “plebs” as it is. You just know they’re itching to “save money” on the ungrateful poor people who obviously don’t appreciate the education they’re being given… we already live in an age which is seeing university fees soaring and with little help from grants and bursaries. Higher education is returning to being a domain for the well-to-do.

Anyway, back to the matter in hand – I know the language goes through changes in each generation but this can’t be a good one. Can if? Can it really?

I want to begin this foray into my view of life by personally thanking the noble, self-sacrificing git who thought that, just because he was snuffling, coughing and sneezing with an infectious disease, that he’d go in to work anyway. A mere illness wasn’t going to put himoff! Oh no, he’s made of sterner stuff. (Besides, he needed the extra Xmas cash.)

So, thank you for the lurgy-fest (which most people call “the festive season”) you graciously insisted I take part in, just because you were so brave, so strong, so selfless as not to let your malady keep you from your work.

You’re an inspiration to the nation and I’m sure all of us to whom you generously gave this Yuletide gift, will join me in honouring you with a heartfelt two-fingered salute.

I hope you had as much of an enjoyable time as we did. All the best for 2013.

(And I hope you get the sack.)

As for bosses who put the thumbscrews on empoyees taking time off when they are actually ill… yeah, just have the majority of your staff taking time off with the cold/flu/norovirus/whatever. Smart move, Mr Greedyarse Corporate Bastard.