Yesterday, we discussed the alternate-legal-universe strategy being employed by Team Cracken’s crack legal team, which is basically to deny, lie, obfuscate, blame the black guy and then lie some more, then do some more drugs, then chug some vodka, than blame another black guy. Believe it or not, if you’re a young, white crackhead with big boobs, this legal strategy actually works. A few months ago, prosecutors were in talks with Lindsay Lohan’s then-lawyer Shawn Holley on a plea deal that would have included mandatory jail time and at least six months of rehab. But by hiring a new (sketchy) lawyer and simply waiting out the prosecution, the plea deal being offered is now ridiculously generous – no jail, two months of rehab, and a gentle slap on the firecrotch. You’d think that LL would jump at the chance, right? Not so much. Because she’s so LINNOCENT.

Lindsay Lohan did NOT cut a plea bargain Wednesday with prosecutors in her lying-to-cops case …TMZ has learned … and right now it looks like she’s headed for trial.

We broke the story … Santa Monica and L.A. City prosecutors had a noon meeting via telephone with Lindsay’s lawyer, Mark Heller.

Sources connected with Lindsay tell TMZ … prosecutors insisted Lindsay accept a significant amount of time in a residential rehab facility, but Heller wasn’t having it. We’re told prosecutors bent a little and offered somewhere around 30 days rather than the 60 they initially wanted — still Heller didn’t accept.

We’re told Heller and prosecutors have not given up, and one source connected with the talks tells TMZ, “Negotiations are ongoing.”

BUT … sources say Heller and Lindsay are not in lockstep — he’s willing to accept a plea that involves counseling and possibly some sort of rehab, but Lindsay says she’s not accepting any of it because to her it sounds like “punishment for something I didn’t do.”

Bottom line … prosecutors aren’t worried if they can’t strike a deal — we’re told they’re more than willing to go to trial March 18.

“Punishment for something I didn’t do”…? WTF? We can argue about whether or not she was drunk-driving (I think chances are pretty good that she was), but the prosecution has a pretty good case for Lindsay lying to the police by telling them that she was not the driver during her PCH crash. She WAS driving. Multiple eyewitnesses say so. Her assistant says so. Enough. And that one charge is enough to revoke her probation on the cracked-out jewelry heist case. Meaning… jail time, if the prosecution has any balls. So what is Mark Heller doing? Why is he letting Lindsay’s crack delusions spin so out of control?

Exactly. Even if she goes to trial and loses, she knows that jail is fitted with a big old revolving door and she’ll be out in a matter of days. Why bother with rehab and all their pesky rules when she can do a week or less of jail and then get her party on.

I wonder if she pleads guilty to lying to police, if it would make it that much easier to get her on the probation violation? are they still being treated as two seperate things? is it still on-going? there’s too much with this chick to keep up.

I think they’re both still ongoing, but the probation violation case is in LA and the accident/lying to police is in Santa Monica. I don’t know that they’ve been combined into one big case of cracknaniganery, though.

Shes dumb thats the best deal shes gonna get from this situation. She should of took it if shes smart but shes dumb so shes going to jail finally. Theres too much evidence and eyewitnesses that are going to testify against her. Like the dude she hit. So dumb.

You’d think she’d be tired of going to court. I think she’s permanently zoned out from her legal skullduggery. I doubt she really hears anything that’s going on around her. Just kind of sits there, pouting, & on to the next round.

I wonder if she’ll fire Heller for this too. She fired Shawn for basically admitting her guilt and trying to hammer out a plea, so I wonder if she’ll ditch Heller the same way. At this point, she’ll just either keep firing lawyers to keep getting the trial pushed further and further down the road or she’ll wind up repping herself (something I’d very much like to see, btw).

And isn’t it kinda funny how she keeps pleading innocence but can’t actually refute the evidence that the state has – like the witnesses, the testimony from the people involved? She’s basically doing the Richard Pryor – “who are you going to believe – me or your lying eyes?”

I bet the prosecution doesn’t have enough evidence to proceed, which is why they’re offering such an easy penalty… and I bet her lawyer knows this and knows they will probably win in trial due to lack of evidence (or lack of QUALITY evidence). tact!

You really think after spending 6 months getting this case together that the prosecution doesn’t have quality evidence? No, Lindsay does know how to play the system (like many others do) and that is what she is counting on.

If she gets away with this when she goes to court, I will be CONVINCED Orange Oprah has blackmailing powerful people in LaLaLand. The rumours of her taking pictures/videos of a young Lindsay with higher ups is sounding more and more plausible……

I really don’t get why that’d put a complete stop to things though… wouldn’t Dina have to go down with those photos too? If she took compromising photos, could it be considered child endangerment, or child porn, or whatever?

Very true, but if she’s blackmailing people, how are we ever going to know that? It’s not like the person who is being blackmailed is going to come forward and say “Dina Lohan took pictures of me having sex with 15 year old Lindsay”. People have been speculating for several years now that there must be something fishy going on for Lindsay to keep getting away with things. I’m not sure I completely believe this rumour – it is the Orange Oprah we are talking about after all. Can she really keep her mouth that shut for all these years about something so juicy? This family blabs their business all the time (see: Michael Lohan).

I’ll never understand how Lindsay threw away all the amazing opportunities she could have had, just to become a drugged out loser. And the saddest thing is, she doesn’t even realize it.

wouldn’t she have to pay for her stay in rehab? maybe that’s why she’s rejecting it? because I’d assume that if she doesn’t meet the terms of her deal, she’ll get thrown in jail, so might as well fight it in trial if her lawyer can’t get her a deal that won’t cost her money she does not have?

How does she not have a reality show yet? Seriously? If she let someone film this insanity she would be making a fortune. Is it because she still thinks she’s a serious actress? She can’t because we will see where her money is coming from now? I imagine the trial will be televised though, I think I may be taking a few sick days.

She can’t, because then all her cracknanigans would be documented (think Anna Nicole) and could be used as evidence against her. (DUIs, drink-flinging, snorting off toilet seats, car accidents…it would be EPIC.)

I don’t know why I read her stories; they just depress me. This bitch will just keep boozing, shooting/snorting up, and driving, consequence-free, until she kills herself or someone else. Probably someone else.

As someone who lost a close family member to a drunk driver (my cousin was walking with his family when a drunk driver lost control, ran the car onto the curb and hit and killed him instantly), I feel so much pain for anyone who will be a victim of this . . .thing. The entire CA legal and penal system has blood on their hands for letting her get away with this behavior, punishment-free, time after time.

will someone put this deadbeat repeat offender behind bars????????? almost 30% of my 40k a year salary gets paid in taxes, and that money is going to all of these court officials who dick around all day and don’t put this HAZARD behind bars!!! she is going to kill someone behind the wheel, its disgusting no one will do anything about it. for the love of god AT LEAST take her drivers license. I had a friend get in an accident during the one week his insurance lapsed, and he lost his license for a year! how many DUIs/accidents does she have at this point?? This is seriously a joke. The kicker is she doesnt even PAY her share of taxes and has probably cost us all millions in court fees.

On TMZ Live, they said lying to cops is not something they ever send people to jail for, so nothing will happen to her, but if it triggers a probation violation in her jewelry theft case, then she might be in trouble.

Is this just for the crash-related charges? Isn’t the probation violation handled separately? I would expect a much tougher sentence for the probation violation, since her last judge warned her that she would spend the rest of her time in jail if she got into any more trouble. The probation judge can decide she’s violated even if the other court doesn’t convict, the requirements for evidence are much less. It’s basically the judge’s decision, looking over everything.

I could see offering 30 days in rehab (since the jail has a revolving door) for all the stupidity she engaged in during and after the accident, but It doesn’t make sense for the probation violation. She’s on probation for theft, and she brazenly stole jewelry sold for $2500. That’s pretty serious, people routinely get tossed in jail for much less. So violation of that probation would also be a serious matter. Six months in a real lockdown rehab would be quite reasonable, considering that otherwise anywhere else but the lala land she lives in – she would be in prison by now.

the reason she won’t accept the plea deal is because she is an addict. and being an addict means that you FEAR the day where you cannot access ANY drug. And the thought of NOT being able to do a drug gives you paranoi and high anxiety. Think of an addict who was counting on a wedding celebration and an open bar but turns out it’s soda/water only.

It’s like someone’s fear of heights, Lilo’s fear of not being able to access a drug makes her anxious, stressed, mean, desperate and she ends up doing something STUPID like not accepting a two month rehab deal because she can’t go 2 months dry

Eggscellent! I was afraid she would take the deal and be boring for the next year…hahahah. Can’t wait til she’s in the clink. That’s the safest place for her to be-off the Cali roads and no access to booze.

Definitely a recent brow lift and fillers, blown up lips, etc. It is amazing how a 26 year old can age them self so quickly at that age I’ve never seen anyone else like it (the others don’t have the money for it), she would just look like any other meth head with ruined skin and greatly aged in a short amount of time. The surgery is actually making her look better even though she looks a very rough 40 now. Terribly sad

Yes my neighbor was a 50+ year old cracken that was a crackie for at least 15 years and yes they are sometimes so resilient, their brains are so gone they are delusional (imagining things that aren’t there in a very bad way) and manic and waaayyy bipolar. She would just up and leave one town after the next as she thought, really believed people were out to get her and kept moving many years of her life. The stories are too nutty to rewrite but they make up things that simply are not there, totally brain fried.

I just found this 2007 article about Lindsay Lohan’s career (which according to several studio presidents was DOA almost eight years ago) :
“Without all the tabloid covers and red carpets and cell-phone photos and mug shots, Lohan would not be a household name; she would simply be a talented ingenue with a substance-abuse problem, a messed-up family, and a mediocre box office record. Harsh? Maybe so, but that’s the cold calculus of Hollywood. ”Her troubles are what made her famous,” says one studio exec. ”Her films don’t open. She’s a pain to work with. I think she’s done.” Others go so far as to worry that career death may be the least of Lohan’s concerns. Says another exec: ”I think she has to stay alive.”
***Also, everyone should stop comparing Lindsay to RDJ. She never will be RDJ. She is a spoiled, shelfish ugly, brat who also has a batsh-t crazy family and no friends. RDJ may have had his problems but he was always likeable. He wasn’t a psycho, a klepto. Mel Gibson was willing to bail him out because he saw the redeeming qualities and that he is a genuinely good person with issues. No one thinks that at the core Lindsay Lohan is a good person. Never have.