While I could easily get stuff passed my dad, I was always outflanked by my mom.

She managed to maintain the high ground for my whole adolescence without sacrificing the comfort and support I knew I could always receive from her. She was and is the epitome of a good wife and mother.

Self sacrificing. All comforting. All knowing.

Always truthful even when lying would have made her day much simpler.

She showed me the way a grown woman should be and let me see the truth of what the world was. Instead of rounding the corners off for me. All this while demonstrating how to be true to yourself, in every stage of life.

Even now that I have the privilege to relate to her as an adult and friend- I have found little contradiction in her. Contradictions often found in our parents given the benefit of hindsight.

She is as she seemed and so there has never been a schism between us. We know each other in all our rawness and we are happy in that space. Free of illusion or expectation.

We are proud of the people we have become.

Every year, I tell my mom how blessed I am to have her as my mother. And every year my reasons change and the meaning deepens. We are constantly evolving. There is always a new reason to be proud I get to call her “mommy.”

What WAS different is that my sister and I got to be an asset to our mother. We got to show her that all her hard work helped produce two amazing, competent, well rounded women who could support her in a time of need and loss.

We are now, only three of four. A broken set.

Yet somehow stronger than the original unit. We are three grown women- who know how to love, comfort and cherish each other better than ever. All because of her example.

So even though I say the same words every year, I’m going to say it again.