Ask A Guy: Does My Boyfriend Really Mean What He Says?

My boyfriend and I have been going out for about three months now. We’ve already had sex and I think we took it way too fast. He says he wants to be with me forever and that he loves me- I mean, could see us being like that but does he really mean it or is he just saying what he thinks I want to hear?

He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, but sometimes he won’t call or text the whole day. It makes me feel unloved but I don’t know how to let him know that without him getting mad. He’s like “Oh yeah, I’ll text you tomorrow.” Then he doesn’t! It makes me angry but I don’t want to be like “Why didn’t you text me?!?”

How do I know if he really means what he’s saying or if he’s full of it?

As far as what you’re asking goes, it sounds to me like “young love.” I don’t mean that to be insulting – it is a nice thing. But the reason I say it is that it’s something I would have said years ago in an early relationship. And when I said it, I would have meant it…

The thing is, as I had more relationships –more falling in love and then eventually the break-up, more ups, more downs, more experience — my perspective changed and the way I was in relationships changed too… for the better. Sure, people get jaded by breakups, sometimes for a month, sometimes for several months (or longer), but the ups and the downs of relationships are both really good things.

My point is that in the moments he’s with you, he probably does mean it. At the same time, love does not mean that you should expect him to pick up the phone all the time or text you constantly. Guys, lovable as we can be, usually like to use the phone to make a plan and that’s that. We don’t like chit-chat if it’s not towards a purpose, it’s just not how we’re wired. I would say that if he says he’s going to text or call you, he should do that… But just because somebody should do something doesn’t mean they will, for whatever reason.

My feeling is that you should take this as an opportunity to learn how to deal with this sort of thing… It’s not the last time that it will happen and I can tell you that as good as I try to be, I’ll occasionally do what you’re talking about… Doesn’t mean I don’t love my girl, just means… well… I’m busy! ;)

But be that as it may, it does bother you and my bet is that you are trying to figure out a way to address it without making him defensive or damaging the relationship.

First and foremost, get a handle about how you feel about it. A trap that I see a lot of couples fall into is that one person is annoyed by what the other one is doing, but instead of figuring out a constructive way to address it, they just hold resentment towards the other person to a degree.

When I say address it, I don’t necessarily mean talking it out. Sometimes that’s the best way to go and I’ll share my thoughts on that in a moment, but sometimes half the issue is how you feel about it and think about it. Do the other person a favor and at least look at the way you’re acting and handling the situation too. In this scenario, I’m not pointing any fingers, I’m just saying it’s a smart thing to do because it will give you insight into how you are and clarity on the whole situation.

Generally speaking, I think it’s destructive in a relationship to think about things in terms of what someone is doing right or wrong (whether it’s you or the guy you’re with). It’s better to just think about what’s happening and where you’re coming from in all of it.

Some things to consider: Personally, in a relationship, if someone doesn’t do what I expect them to do, I usually forgive them… the first time… maybe the first couple of times. But when they consistently do the same thing and it is something that just doesn’t work for me and I feel like it’s reasonable for me to expect it, I do bring it up.

I would say it should be as simple as, “OK, you’re doing this and it makes me feel this way (whatever it is you feel) and it makes me think this… Can you give me a reason that would help me understand why this keeps happening?” And let him talk… I would say go for understanding, don’t go for resolution. When you put it to him like that, you’re not blaming him, you’re just telling him how you feel and asking for an explanation you can understand. He won’t get defensive if you put it in these terms.

On the other hand, you definitely do NOT want to come from a place of blaming, assuming or attacking. It sounds obvious when I write it out, but in real life, you do need to keep clear on where you’re coming from. Understanding is a good spot.

Adding to this point, I would also avoid words like “never” and “always” when it comes to things he does. Let me tell you, nothing makes me angrier faster than having a woman tell me I “always” do something (whatever it is) wrong or that I “never” do something (whatever it is) right. Avoid those words and you’ll have much fewer arguments. :)

There’s nothing wrong with sharing how you feel with a guy. In fact, if you tell a guy what he’s doing that you don’t like and how it makes you feel, that’s one of the best ways to help the guy get where you’re coming from. I would say a good rule is to never assume your guy knows the things he’s “supposed” to know or “should” know without you telling him. Again, you’ll avoid a lot of arguments.

Now, I want to make a point here because this is usually the place where jaded women will say, “Of course not! Stupid men don’t know anything!” To that point, guys know plenty and we really do our best. But guess what… what made our last girlfriend happy sometimes is totally different from what makes you happy. And smart guys know the best thing is never to assume we know what a woman wants… we want women to give us clues that are extremely visible-from-space obvious. And no, “clues” to a guy does not include a facial expression, voice tone or some kind of hint. Clues means basically a roadmap.

Bottom line: If you show your boyfriend exactly how to make you happy, he will do his best to do it. To a man, a woman who is thoroughly happy with him is a beautiful woman.

In fact, I would even be so bold as to say that a man will almost inevitably leave a woman if he does not believe he can make her happy. So this is something you want to be clear on. You want to make sure you let him know when he’s successful and you want to make sure he knows how he can make you happy if he’s doing something that is making you unhappy.

Do not use this in a manipulative way, though. It will backfire, don’t try it.

Ok I met, fell in love with and moved from my house 50 mile out of twn to be with my husband. We talked all the time and we spent time together. We live out in the country, it’s 40 mins to the closest store. for the past couple of yrs things haven’t great. It’s hard to get his attention and we don’t do anything together any more. I stay home and take care of the house. I have no friends, I do not talk to anyone or go anywhere, I don’t have a car. I talk to my mother every so often and I have a 14 yr old son at home with me. 10 yrs ago I had a girl friend but my husband told my ” I’m not hanging around drinking coffee with anyone, I’m wrking so you don’t need to hang out.” He pretty much told my friend she wasn’t welcome at our place. She’s moved since. I have no money as I’m unable to get a job. I depend on my husband for everything. At one point yrs back he did tell me he was happier with me just staying home, he said he didn’t like me out in the world, he doesn’t trust people. So I stayed home kept the house, dinner and his clothes, ect. A few yrs ago everything seem to of just stopped. He talks to me more when he’s at work them he does at home. He say’s he loves me but is always busy out back until it’s time for bed. Look as far as I see man or women, we are people and we have feelings. When you really love another there are way you show them. I do not expect him to spend every min with me. However when someone you LOVE comes to you and tells you they’re unhappy and they need a little more one on one time other than sex at bed time. When you see them upset and depressed, maybe you are there for them. For a few yrs now I’ve tried talking to him. I want are marriage to wrk but we need to both be on the same page. It would really upset me if he told me he felt alone. I’m thinking “he wanted me here alone, He said I didn’t need a BFF that he was my BFF, my son gets it. No matter how many times I’ve told my husband how feel he still asks me what’s the matter. He’s said he understands but still has things to do. If I’m happy great we get along if I’m not feeling so good that day he just walks on by stays out of my way. Relationships work both ways, I can’t marry myself. He say’s he loves me and he doesn’t want to lose me and then does nothing to work on our relationship. Remember I’m here alone, no one visits me, I don’t talk to anyone. I feel unimportant and hurt.I don’t understand why he would stay with me if it’s that hard to spend time with me. If I had a life outside our home as he does I wouldn’t be so needy. It doesn’t feel good to love someone that doesn’t love you back. I do not want to control him I do want to feel like his wife and I want to feel he loves me. I want to be happy so I can be a good mom and wife. It wasn’t always like this. I should and do make him feel like a man and I think when a man loves you , really loves you he also has SHOULD make her feel like she’s his and he wants her. I’m thinking of just packing some thing and maybe it’s time I go home but here I am because I love him and because he say’s he loves me, keeps that little window open. I don’t think feeling loved by your wife or husband should be so hard to show. We all NEED to feel loved and important. I don’t want to feel alone anymore while my husband is home. I don’t bitch and I don’t fight with him. I don’t think he’s into me anymore so why keep me hanging on? This could drive someone crazy. I think god gave us feelings and love just to Fck with us. I’m heart broken we made such a good start what happened???

I had been with my husband 22 yrs before I was widowed at 38 yes young I realize I’ve dated and tried to find someone but as of late I don’t think there is anyone out there for me it’s hard to get me to open up but I’ve felt a connection with a couple of gentlemen but some how I end up stuck in the friend zone and can’t get past this mark how do I not allow them to stick me in the friend zone and if they do how do I get out of it ?

Why would and old friend of mine tell my fiance that he wants to be the god father of our future wedding and he’ll even buy the cake? Bare in mind he told my fiance I’m a good girl. And his reaction was oh you’re marrying her?? Is this even normal? Never had this happen to me before is all.

I would like to remain anonymous. Ok. I have this situation. I met a guy online a year ago. He said that he was in a 10 year on and off relationship with his son mother and they were engaged to be married. He found out that she was cheating. He moved out and they broke it off wedding and all. She told him she wanted someone that had more to offer her. 3 years after that we meet online. Now he had not been in a relationship for 3 years he only casually dated. Ok. So he meets me and things move quick! He’s talking about marriage. He even said he loves me after only 2 weeks of dating. He treated me like his queen. I felt so special. He talked about his plans for our life, wanted me to meet his family. Things were going great. 6 to 7 months later he goes to visit his family do to a death in his family. He talked to me about how he miss his family and working has caused him to neglect his family and life. He also mentioned that I don’t seem to show him as much love as he show me and that he has loss himself trying to be everything for me, being late for work from talking to me. He gave me his world. I was his world. He calls me everyday and we just stay on the phone for hours. Even still today. Anyway. So he tells me he just want to be friends right now until he get things together. He said he feel unaccomplished with his life. So we remained friends for about 2 to 3 months. He still came over , he still made love to me and he still called me every day . He said he will not talk to anyone else and ask me not to as well. He wanted me to wait for him. He became jealous when I went out with another guy. He even introduced me as his girl and made his kids think we were still together. So we got back together. He just seemed different. He still saying he loves me and blowing kissing good bye. It was just not the same and it went on for 2 to 3 months . He stop taking me out . We begin to argue more. I just stop being his priority and did not feel special anymore. He said his job is killing his fatherhood, relationship with me and other things. He works like 15 hours a day for the past 3 months . Anyway , just recently he to my advice and said I deserve better and he cannot give me his time and attention right now and we agreed to be friends because he’s been contimplating on that himself for weeks and when I use to ask him about us he would say he do not know. He did mention that I say things to make him feel down sometime. I’m not sure if he is making an excuse to point fingers or what. Anyway we are just friends now and I told him we cannot have sex because we are just friends . He still call me everyday and gets mad when I talk to other guys. He said I should give him and myself time before I go jump into other relationship . He talks about long trips and getting me a massage etc. He recently. Said he wants to buy another car a freign car, and looking into buying a house big enough for who ever . But he didn’t say me, I wanted him to say me. He just not revealing his feelings for me. I know he cares for me. Do he want me? Do he really love me of. Not ? Why is he taking me through this ? Is it me or him. What is going on, he’s hurting me. I want him to say and show he love me again . Did I mess up? He knows I love him. But when he does something selfish are hurt me, I bring it to his attention and just get snobby about it when we were dating and he felt pressured . For an example, things I get mad about . Ok, he gets off from work and plan to go off with his cousin and he have not taken me out in weeks. he would just do and say things he know he should not say , things he would have never said when he first met me. When he first met me him spoiled me . It was all about me. How can I get that back? I miss the old him . I just feel so bad about this, I need closure. Did I do something wrong or is it really his job? Please help me.

I have been with a man for 6 years now and he says he loves me in the morning and when going to bed we don’t have sex (he is not cheating) (I am not denying him or gained any weight) every other day I heard he wants to get an apt or not be with me(he is an angry man) I feel so torn i here it so much anymore I don’t cry. I did when he said it the first 20 times. I want to leave and have tried 3 times but always drawn back into it. I wish i knew just how to leave him. Some days he is awesome and I think I can do this and then bam and I wait for the dust to settle and can’t seem to make a move. I just wish I had more of a backbone to leave.

I’ve been with my guy for a little over a year now. Several times he told me he can’t be the man I need. He said he loved me, bought me a ring ( not the ring!) And has always been persistent about me wearing it. I need to hear things like I love you and miss you more often then he is willing to say, he says I’m too needy. He says he needs a woman who is confident that he loves her. He is broken and I know that… I feel like he is pushing me away because he is scared. We have had a great relationship with no argument or fights ever… only the lack of feeling like he wanted me as much as I wanted him. Any insight???

These articles are right, very good and I believe them. It really define men and women brelationship, I think.

But what I want to say, that I am not feel like living in this world now.
I have no dreams, I just must to live, to survive for my children, oh they are 3 and they are girls, poor they..
I would not have a baby if I knew all I know now about how different are women? expections and what will not be fulfilled to her by men naturally :-(
It seems to be just to be strong to live this life to the end…it is not enjoying the love, relationship, just to carry all these facts about that men arent here to make us happy as we need..and if they do that, it is only that we TEL,NEED, CRY for it… :-(
I really don´t want to live like that…I think and I know a lot of women that would decide not to live at all if they could decide when they came to this world as a baby…Some says that they would rather be men…but some of them – me too – would decide not to live at all…

It all seems to me as a really bad joke from Nature…and a very bad lie, delusion and fraud from hormones, emotions and everything that make a woman have feelings as a woman yet when she is small and growing up…..it is a trap for her…since a little girl when she believes that once when she is a lady her dreams about her and her husband (love) will fulfill…and she search from one man to another and will never find what she REALLY NEEDS…

She will learn new rules of men´s games, reading articles about how men are thinking, feeling to make it better, but it is only blind HOPE for her, it hepls only for a while – she just understand him but she still doesn ´t det what she needs…then she just learn how to supress her needs inside of her and try not to suffer so bad…but it is not like true enjoying life, just surviving…because it is not NATURAL for her to behave like that and she suffer, some of them bedome ill, get cancr etc….and only men can heal it and stop us from suffering…but they will not do that, because they have 10000 reasons, at first that it is not NATURAL for man to behave just a woman needs….I dont blame men…I blame just it happened, this trape..:-((((((((((((((((((((((((((( I am really sorry about it, for me, for my daughters, for women :-(((((((((((((((((((There is no hope…It is really as It is written..I don´t blame men, I am just not feeling to live…:-((((((((((

I am sorry for english….and I am sorry for this comment…I had to write….

Bluegirl –
I liked your comment more than the article itself. Because you are right .. These kinds of glorified “listicles” exist to mollify the existential ache of feeling misunderstood. As a woman, especially one who has been in legitimate romantic relationships with both a man and a woman, I can say that it isn’t men’s fault. It’s just a natural differentiation that is reinforced by our culture, media, psychology, etc. I do think that nurture can at least alter nature and that men and women won’t always have to navigate relationships like this, but from my perspective I definitely see how men and women treat their roles in relationships differently. Woman are habitually fed ridiculous fantasies about safety, perfection, motherhood, purity, loyalty, eternal companionship. Men exist in an equally ludicrous gender framework that only rewards unapologetic dominance, virility, tirelessness and muted sensitivity. The expectations for all of us are so high that even the more neutered parts of life can never be in harmony because they are existing in a sick paradigm of celebrated conflict. You’re right, girls will look at this article for answers that can never be obtained or understood. But I think embracing that thought can lead to better and more honest, authentic relationships. There aren’t a lot of websites out there that confront this sort of problem for concerned boyfriends, or at least they prob don’t get a lot of attention, but maybe that’s sort of the point? Men never letting their ego down enough to wallow in their own problems? I think it’s worth it for women to embrace the “natural” behaviors we have in relationships and not be ashamed of them. Aka start understand that when you have problem with sometjkng, you’re not being “overly sensitive” or “naggy” or “crazy”, even if you are to him. My boyfriend can be a primo dick to me sometimes but I don’t allow that to disappoint me or turn me away from all romance. I just accept the fact tjay that’s him and love the fact that I’ll never be a dick the same way he is.

Been dating for 3+ years. Of course in the beginning it’s all “I love you”s”. But recently they have been really far and few. I don’t need to hear it 24/7 but I can count on one hand how many times in the last few months, Ive heard him say I love you, without me saying it first. The little things he used to do are non existent. We live together in my condo. It makes me sad. I am an affectionate person and miss the little touches, the hugs. To me..in a busy life, those are the things that say, ” I love you and do think about you even when things are crazy”. I don’t know whether to bring it up or not.

He lives in your condo, is non-communicative, gives you the cold shoulder. Where is the gratitude? He is taking advantage of you. What a loser. Kick him out of your place in the same way I threw my husband out of MY house.

Hi I wanted to know what I should do. Ive been with this guy on and off for about 3 months. We had told each other “I love you” I’ve helped him out so much with problems in his life. Hes told a lot of people I am the one for him. We had a small argument this Sunday. He then asked if I was missing him. Me thinking he felt the same I said yea a bit what about you and he said dont turn words around or play games I asked you first. I told him I wanted to know if he did and he said I really don’t feel like that because of what we went through. Wtf that made me cry a bit but I hid it well. Then he says Ill call you tomorrow around the morning ok? Like nothing. I cant deny it brought me to tears :'( I called him back and told him pls if you dont feel anything anymore, don’t say or ask things like that if there are no emotions involved. He said fine but am I right or wrong for saying that ir taking it deep?

okay so me and my boyfriend have been going out for a month now but i dont even feel like were dating!!!! everytime i see him he doesnt even say hi to me or aything else he just passes by me like im not their i get really mad and sort od dissapointed because in the begging i thought that hey you know this guys a really nice guy but apperently i was wrong he ignores me my friends and my sister becuase when one of my friends asked him if she can talk to him he like whatever and hes being soo rude!! i cant believe it he told me that he liked me a long time ago just nver really said anything i like him alot but i dont think its going to work out :/ and hes always talking to this girl now hes giving her nicknames and everything :( but idk wheather i should break up with him or not? please help

Dear Ella,
I would like to say that I’m truly sorry that there hasn’t been any type of reply to reach to you as
soon as possible. Any who, coming back from a month ago, since the two of you have been going out for only a month, it is very new still. Please, describe this male partner of yours to me if you can. How well do you know him? Who made the first move? Where you satisfied with the results? It seems to me that he has truly already felt bored with you. As much as I truly do hate to say this, but it seems like the relationship that the two of you has shared was all a bunch of lies. I understand that you like him a lot and you know why? It’s because you’re a good person and he’s not. Despite the way he treated you, your friends, and your dearest sister, you still manage to give a damn about him. Please Ella…..you must break up with him IMMEDIATELY! You are certainly wasting your time, your life, and your future with this inhuman. He does not deserve your heart and respect at all. Besides, he’s already got a plan B which is the next female victim so it’s best to end it all. Indeed, it may hurt, but trust me, I or we all know what pain really is and you clearly don’t deserve to suffer. I sure do hope that I saved your life before worst circumstances arrived….

I have been dating this guy for 18 years I was 13 he was 16 it started off young love then after few years and having four older brothers the lies started he was now 21 and going out behind my back then living to my face then after 7 years we moved in together and he made me think he was the perfect guy to wear when I did hear something I wouldn’t believe it I would trust him then up till about 1 year ago I notice that he started not caring how he hurt me if I caught him lying about something then I would start to get very emotional and that seems to piss him off more he always turns it around he gets me mad then don’t care to seven try to make me understand why he did it he just gets pissed that I found out ands that I’m even bringing it up in this relationship I no longer feel like I’m at least if not first but at least on his least of priorities and also he loves to try and embarrass me in front of my friends and family he no longer has respect for me he mocks me even when I am in A an ememotional reck but yet he says he loves meet and what’s to be with me . So I guess what I am asking is even though I have let him know how bad. He hurts me when he does the stuff he does he continues. To do them so what I need to know is is their any way of having hope anymore for this relationship with him that use to be my best friend who looked out for me never thru me under the bus he talked to me with respect now he tells me what he’s going to do but now this is the first time I have felt like I know this not not the kind of relationship I will be in in my future and that sucks bc he used to be all I wanted and needed now I just feel used and abused I am a warm hearted person and he is making me start to hate him so please tell me what u think .thanks jamee

Ok so… I was with my boyfriend for nearly 2years. Like every couple we had our ups and downs, but when it was good it was amazing. Everyday he made me smile and laugh. About a year and a bit into the relationship it started getting rocky, we would fight more often and have silly tiffs. We both talked about wanting marriage and to move in together and that’s when it went really wrong. In January 2015 just past.. (Obviously) he broke up with me, send me a txt… (Yes a text) telling me he loved me but was no longer in love with me! Being a girl I was devistated I couldn’t understand how one day were in love and the next im getting this. I met up with him to take a few weeks later and be confirmed what I had been dreading he was messaging another girl who he fancied. Hearing that broke my heart in pieces. We didn’t talk for a week or two but recently he’s been messaging me a lot, we met last week because I had a few of his things to return and that’s when he told me that him and the girl he was txt cheating on me with were no longer talking, because she found out he became single all of a sudden!! She clearly had no intentions of taking it further with him. So anyway long story cut short he’s been messaging me now every day well Almost everyday, im unsure what to do because deep down I’m the one chasing him and wanting him back, and he’s not too bothered. I need some advice on what’s the best thing for me to do.. Move on? Or hope he comes back to me. I feel like a crazy ass fool for even considering wanting him back but I really do love him even after everything he’s done to me. PLEASE HELP xoxo

Please move on sweetie. I have been through a situation like this… My boyfriend (well ex now) of two years starting acting strange towards me … I had a feeling he liked or was talking to someone else…. So I asked and to my horror he said yes.. To make matters worse he would talk about her to me, how pretty she was and how much he liked her etc…. Like a fool I wanted to make things work. Well eventually I broke up with him. I couldn’t handle feeling like I wasn’t his only one. Turns out this girl was a lesbian. Had no interest in guys whatsoever. And guess who came running back. And I took him back like a fool. But one day I realized this boy didn’t truly love me and he wasn’t worth my time. obviously he did not truly care about me if he started feeling this way about someone else. I extend this sane advice to you. I know you feel lonely or miss him but please believe me when I say he’s not worth you chasing him. If he did it to you once I’m sure he will do it again. You will find someone new eventually, that treats you so much better…. Trust me. Move on. It will save you heartbreak as well as wasting your time with little boys that pull this card.

Hi, why does my partner who I’ve been dating for two years and living with for 1yr..tell me when he left his ex gf’s and wife it wasn’t because he didn’t love them but because they weren’t compatible. Then he had coffee with two of them and told me it was just friends meeting up? Also he introduced me to a woman when we meet and told my they were best friends since primary school…I ended up being really close to her and a few months ago I found out they hooked up for 7days quite a few years ago and that it didn’t work because the husband she has now found out? They did know each other from primary school but they weren’t overly close then. My partner was also her bridesmaid at her wedding because he’s her bestie? Do I trust this man? He treats me well…we are saving to buy land together but I am unsure if he really is sincere enough about our relationship. He treats me well otherwise. He does also tell me when he sees a woman he finds attractive and is flirtatious with pretty woman. I’m confused. He has 5 children when they stay with us he treats me different he’s very distant as well…do you think I should leave?

Trish,
Run and run fast from this man. He is setting you up for major pain. This is a man who thinks too highly of himself and not enough of you. He is taking you for granted. He is assuming that he is so great and you are so needy you will put up with his openly demeaning behavior. If you are confused about how he feels this should be a warning sign that there is trouble on the horizon. There is someone out there who will appreciate you and love you the way you deserve to be loved.

Hello. I really need advice. My guy and l are exclusively dating for one year now, after we met 2 years ago but didn’t quite hit it off. We’re convinced that this time is right and we are meant to be. I wanna get straight to the point. So here it is. He sent me a pic that he made of another woman’s body with my face. I explained to him that as a young lady,I do have some insecurities about myself, but not about my body type or vanity at all. Mind u that these body types are not mines. I’m short and slim well proportioned and nourished lookin, I would say. So basically, my face on some big boob and booty girl. I think its very disrespectful and classless. He said It was a joke. how angry and disgusted I was, I thought he understood how I felt. But he did it again. Made another pic of me with another girl’s body. If he didn’t get it the first time, I dont want to explain again how that kind of makes me sick.. Is he trying to make me insecure? Why does he constantly remind me that I don’t have the ideal body type that he likes? Or am I being a bitch to this man? Im thinking about ending it because he’s older 10 years and doesn’t seem to get it.. Please help

I know I am a month or so late replying to you…. But this man is no good. If he isn’t happy with the way you are now then he does not love you. To send pictures of you with someone else’s body attached and to say “oh it’s a joke” and then to do it AGAIN when he knows you were upset about it shows me he does not care for you or your feelings. Or he is a very immature BOY. Please move on

But on the off chance you do want to try to make it work out with this guy, tell him you would not tolerate this behavior in the future.. Ask him why he feels the need to do this. I see it as he does not like your body but only he knows. I know you don’t want to explain again how it makes you sick but maybe he did not take you seriously the first time. But then again that should show you he is most likely not worth your time. As your boyfriend he shouldn’t care what your body is like… He should love you for you and treat you like the queen you are! Just reading your story got me so upset. Hopefully you figure out what to do about the situation. <3

Hi My is cece. I have this friend we been fwb for 10months. Two days ago i told him that i love him.And i want it to be more then friends. He tells me that he loves me as a friend and that im his best friend.He never wanna lose me. Why change what we have. I feel so confuse. We connect so well. We always together. He always call me and always wanna be with me. do i wait for him to change his mind.Or just let it go cuz it only going to hurt me. Can anyone help me please.

I have been going out with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years and he does not believe anything I tell him, i Tell him about my previous job’s and he does not believe me, I tell him everything as it is and he does not believe me and every time I have to prove it.
When I first went out with him he was abusive to me and told me I was fat and ugly and I knew I was not and I confided in a male married friend in a local supermarket and he told me I was not fat and ugly and asked me out for a drink, which I then got angry and left, I felt stupid and it upset me as I thought I could rely on this male friend but it frighten me, I went home and told my boyfriend that I had been at work and left early and he said I went to your work and

Continued ……so I told him what I did and it back fired on me and I was seeking help,now everything I do he does not believe me and it is wearing me down to the point that it is starting to depress me, the guy I seeked help from told hid wife and she knew about the meet and she has since seen me and advised her husband had told her what he had said to me and it has brought them closer together and also seen the male with her and he apologised, what can i do.

I asked my boyfriend if he have another girl, he answered something like that yes. I ask him, if he loves her the reply lets not start that discussion is private to him. Pls am confuss here does he realy loves me cause he said he do. Reply Eric

My boyfriend and i have been together for two years now soon to be three,but i feel like he’s getting bored of me,we fight a lot,also our relationship is long distance. I told him that i would move in with him in about 2 years once i’ve got all my shit together,i just don’t want to be pressured to do anything. I think he feels like he has to compete with my attention because i’m the type of girl who has more guy friends than i do with girls. Just the other day we were talking serious about our relationship and he had told me that he’s just started texting this new girl name christina and that she makes him happy but he hasn’t told her about him having a girlfriend. He also said thats he’s kinda not happy with me,sigh i just don’t know what to do anymore! Do you think i should try and make it work or are we both just wasting our time? I really love him and i’m pretty sure he feels the same way too,but I just cant find myself to really tell him how i feel because i’m scared that i’ll get hurt! I’ve been hurt and abuse in the passed..so he cant really blame me for not opening up to him right?

please get back to me..because i really want to make the right decision..i don’t wanna give up than regretting it later on.. you know! please get back to me asap..thank you for your time.

My boyfriend and I have been going together for year and half. So me and my boyfriend broke up two weeks ago but we also got back together that same day but he is saying we didn’t get back together when we clear did. He also said that I want ever hear from again but I have this gut feeling that he’s lying. He doesn’t remember us getting back together or him saying that he loves me last Wednesday

My boyfriend and I have been going steady for three months now, we haven’t had sex yet, we haven’t even gone out to the movies or done anything because we work so much we have spent the night together, enjoying each others company but before my birthday he said for your birthday I’m going to spend the night but he didn’t then he said “do you work on Tuesday?” the day after my birthday I said yes he said “well I wanted to go to the movies since I get paid Tuesday” I said don’t worry about it, I’ll see if I can switch that day so I can get Tuesday off, but then Tuesday comes and he didn’t even come or even say hey babe I’m coming over he just went shopping for clothes, he is an amazing guy but he expects me to tell him to buy me something, I mean even if its a cheap teddy bear holding a heart saying I love you he gave me his old screen cracked Ipod. It makes me feel like crap sort of I don’t know, am I wrong for this? :/

I have a guy friend , who never wants to tell me anything about himself , i knew he had a facebook so i looked him up. Didnt friend him , or harrass any of his friends , so looked at his profile and some of his likes and checked those sites out , he found out and got mad . Now he won’t talk to me , or call , or text. Was i wrong for that? Was it so bad just to want to know little things about him ? Like where he went to school and what color his hair was , little things like that . I would answer anything he ask me about me ( which he never did ) . I feel guilty and ashamed that i betayed a trust and invaded his privacy .

Bonita…. you should not feel ashamed or guilty. Wanting to know more about someone is human nature. Honestly sounds like an excuse to not talk to you anymore and sure don’t sound like a guy I want to be with… if he is closed off to you. Its a red flag. Take the hint and move forward.

Hello,
I just want to ask how do you know when enough is enough? What if you have tried to understand his actions twice and he kept repeating it (such as flirting on social media behind your back). When do you leave the relationship?
Thank you
Jm

Ok, I was involved with a guy some yrs ago. We hit it off really well until be took a sudden change for the worse. It was nothing for me to call or text and ask if I could come over and what not. That went on for months until the other woman can into the picture. I knew it was someone else but I just couldn’t catch him in the act at first. But before all of this happen, I told him that I loved him and his response was not what I wanted to hear. All he could say was, “It was to be expected.” ……Really dude!!!! For years this has been haunting me. So here it is some 14 yrs later once married now divorced with a child by his ex wife, I’ve found myself back talking to him and constantly wondering what if or what could have been between us if we had gotten married instead of those two. I really want to tell him I felt when he picked her over me (thinking the grass was so much greener on the other side…NOT) but I am totally scared because I don’t want to go through that again with him. But my question or questions to you are…….should I tell him how I really feel now and how I felt then and what does IT WAS TO BE EXPECTED really means?…….in guy terms that is……lol…..

I recently got back in touch with a guy I dated 10 years ago, hadn’t seen him in 7 years. I texted him out of the blue to say hi and ask how he was doing and if he remembered me. His response was way better than I expected – not only did he remember me, but he said I had always been in his mind and he had hoped we would get back together at some point. We were able to talk about things that had haunted me for years and I got answers to them. Now, having said this, we are not happy ever after, I don’t expect that, I have no clue where we will go from here, if anywhere. We did get together one time and it was a great evening – had some deep conversations and a lot of fun and did a lot of catching up. We are both different people from 10 years ago yet we share that history. My point is, yes, go ahead and contact him but DO NOT HAVE ANY EXPECTATIONS! You don’t know where he is in his life right now or how he feels. Keep it casual – just wanted to say hi, how are you doing. See how he reacts. Don’t tell him how you feel now. You can talk about how you felt then if the discussion goes that way (for both of you, not just you). And if it goes well, definitely ask him what he meant by IT WAS TO BE EXPECTED. Sometimes you can have so much more clarity into a situation when you’re no longer in it and a significant amount of time has passed by. Hopefully you will get your answers but again, remember, it may not be the answers you want. But it could be as well. Do not over think it (as we women have a tendency to do) and again, don’t have any expectations and do not contact him from a point of view that you want something from him (i.e. being needy). But, wow, it is amazing to revisit good experiences with someone that you haven’t spoken to in years if they are also open to it. Good luck! :)

what does it mean when a guy say to you would you change anything as far as in yall together… and when ask him the same thing he said no he don’t think so… but we are not together in any way we use to have a fling years ago…. so what does this mean?

Ok so this might sound kinda stupid but I need some advise. I’m 19 and I have an app on my phone called “meet me” my friend convinced me to go on it. Mostly everyone on there uses it like a dating site and it’s a lot like a mini Facebook. Well I had this guy message me this charming message and from there we pretty much hit it off. His name is Vince and he’s a marine stationed in Hawaii for the next year otherwise he lives near me. We’ve been talking for about four months now and at first everything was great but now I barley hear from him maybe once to twice a week. I don’t blow up his phone I’m not that type of girl but once and a while I’ll send him a cute message but leave it at that. He’s also asked me to be his gf already and I told him I would try seeing that it’s a long distance thing. I understand that he has his duties and I respect and honor that but he still has that dating app and I’m not sure if I trust that he’s not just playing me. And what kind threw me off is he txted me before he left for sea ” I miss you already your my world” so I really don’t know what to think I’m kinda just going with the flow of things and texting him whenever I hear from him. What should I do?

So I have been texting back and forth a lot with a guy I met while I was in Las Vegas. He lives there. He was the one who always had the conversation going, asking interesting questions, being genuine, if he wasnt at work or sleeping he would text, voice massage, send pics and videos. He also spoke about the future, what my plans were, he told me his plans, he always would say I was amazing, his queen, his co workers referred to me as his GF, he told his mom, sister, brother, and father about me. This went on for 7 weeks, and then it started to slow down.. When I questioned his interest, he said he was extremely busy with work and when he wasn’t he was extremely tired. Yesterday he went out with friends and got really drunk, so today jokingly I asked “how many girls did you hit on?” He said he was too drunk to remember but if I was there it would have been perfect. Now I am confused. I questioned him “is this why the lack of communication, because there are other girls?” He remained with his story that he was tired or working. He said he wouldn’t be mad if I talked to guys, but it would suck if I cut him off because he really cared and liked me. Now I am confused. Should I be angry that he’s sleeping or could be sleeping with other people? Or hanging around other girls? We are not officially together. Is it ok that because of circumstances that we are long distant “friends” who are “interested” in each other that we MAY see other people without being upset? Am I overthinking this? Could he be waiting til we meet again to make it official? I mean I understand a man will be a man, he has his needs, and unlike women, men NEED to have those met.

Okay, so I like this guy whose a grade above me and he just broke up with my friend whose in my class and I’ve liked him even before they went out and I’m not sure if he likes me. I have a breathing condition and when someone would ask why I can’t do as much phisical activity like P.E he would get all defensive of me and say “dude she has a breathing problem give her a break” and he would sometimes go out of his way to make me laugh. I’m not sure if that’s just cause we’re friends or if he likes me. But TBH we’re not that close as friends so what does that mean?

I’ve been in a relationship for over a year now.It’s a long distance several hours apart. He has come to see me every weekend and vacations. He was hurt bad by a cheating wife he’s alone and a good man with a good heart. He is insecure about himself. Through his tears and my own trying to convince him I would not mistreat him he ends up mistreating me.
Over time we have kept talking it out. Many times I feared losing him and many times fought for myself to keep from walking away.
At times I felt he was begging me to leave yet holding on.
He still calls and text everyday and we tell each other 20 or more times a day we love each other.
I admit I have been made to feel insecure because of all the false accusing he has done and have told him so.
It had gotten so bad that with all the love and pain I told him he had to stop accusing me or we would not make it. I love him so much and he was killing me.He did admit to his insecurities and said he did not want to lose me.
We have talked about the future. Living together , kind of ingagement ring and our home to be.
He does a lot of the talking and planning as much as me.

Lately I’ve been feeling he’s giving me an ultimatum. He still comes to see me but it’s in he says and doesn’t say.
He’s not talking of our future because he says he knows what he wants and he’s not going anywhere yet he says now he can’t leave his life there. When before it’s all he wanted was come to where I am.
He says I do love you and I am not leaving you?
I have always been loving and faithful to him.I have suffered real pain from him and still remained by him.
This weekend he was drinking and again accused me of looking at men. Now I do know men find me attractive and he has told me it wouldn’t be as hard for me finding someone.
He is losing his hair and has skin problems that makes him feel unattractive but I accept him unconditionally.

I feel if I let go I will lose him after all this time, love and pain.
I feel we would be throwing away a beautiful thing.
I don’t want to leave him and don’t want him to leave me.

But the back and forth and the hurt it causes. It used to be when I cried he was just as concerned about my feelings,
Now I don’t think he feels the same. Although he’s playful with my sons and acting out love.

When he leaves and is away hesays things to make me feel different.

Could he be playing games and not realizing how bad it hurts?
And why would he keep doing it when I tell him it hurts?

He’s threatened to leave me so many times before for no reason and I have fought for us so hard.
My family and kids love him.I love him.
Why does he behave this way.
Should I give another ultimatum?

Online dating site I met boyfriend in october. The first week talked/texted about everything got to know alot about eachother & seemed to hit it off I fell hard even before we met. After that met eachother had ***.then decided together that were exclusive. The passion was intense. The next 2 months sent pic mail sent sweet texts called me saw eachother 2 times aweek, a couple nights a week phone ***. He seemed to be into me.We live 1hr20min away from eachother. I feel comfortable with telling him my feelings and whats bothering me, he tells me what i want to hear. 6 months & he says loves me finally. Then everything changed hes always busy working I initiate everything now texts call visits *** etc…Barely see 1 week now sometimes 0 times week.he doesnt care about my life or how my day was. When I ask whats the issue is he makes me out to be crazy. That he just busy with work & he loves me & I have nothing to worry about that its all in my head. I just have this bad feeling that hes playing games with me and its a sick game to him. Im confused. Am I crazy? I have ongoing bad feeling that somethings not right, that im going to get hurt even more than i am now. Could fear from past hurts be ruining current relationship by thinking to much.

I’ve been married for almost 3 years but we’ve been together for almost 5, so when he does something a few times that bothers me to a certain point I tell him how I feel about it. He gets upset & acts like I’ve told him it was his fault when I haven’t. How am I supposed to handle that?

Hi am so grateful to you guys for atleast for these 3 days i have been with u i have no regrets. Though i need your help, i love my man so much, and so does he me, only that its a long distance arrangement. It is a year in two months time since i got him online through his sister in law, i have had a chance to see him for a month . He texts me everyday and he seems happy with me. How do i ensure that i dont loss him to any other gal online. Please help me

All I can say is I DON’T KNOW !
I don’t know what will happen to both of us .. we’re now 5months in a relationship .. I love him but I don’t know if he really love me, he’s always saying he loves me but I totally don’t know if he really mean it.
-we are in a long distance relationship.
We didn’t met yet in person:(

Hi,I’ve been dating a guy for 6yrs & 4months. We were so much in love with each other over a sudden he stoped call or texting me unless I call or text him that when he will reply. We would be mad at each other for days. And when he calls he would want us to be together and have sex without talking about our difference and he tell me he loves me very much and forget. What made us mad. One not fine day he called me to tell me that I should forget him and move on with my life when I ask why he did answer me and ended the call an hour later he call to me that he got back with his ex-girlfriend and that she was pregnant for him….I was soo shocked I just couldn’t believe that he chatted on me and he told me himself. I never talked to him for a month. He called me 2days ago saying he wants to see me and to talk to me.I met him and we ended up having sex.he told me that he was sorry for everything he did and he wants us to be together again,but I should give him space to sort out the mess he made and make it up to me
. Is he really telling the truth? Am so confused with what he is telling help me

Iv been with my boyfriend a year and we was not that serious really I new he has feelings but not sure about loved me so he’s in jail now ano bad right!! And things have come pretty full on not like I don’t like it cos all I want is to be with him as he makes me the happiest women alive!! So he’s been dropping the love word abit but this is only actually when he’s seen me and like 2days after he will tell me on the phone but he seems to be using I care for you a lot more than I love you??? Why is this I no 100000% he cares for me but it’s weird it’s like he only seems to tell me he loves me when he’s seen me or with me? Like we have arguments about what I’m doing on the out and it really gets to him the things I could be upto with other men!! But then he can say some horrible hurtful things and then ring me back seconds after telling me he don’t mean what he said and he’s angry cos he cares for me and dus not want me doing anything to spoil what we have so he takes hes aggression out on me. He’s very insecure and has been hurt in the past it feels like he dus not want to love me because he dus not want to get hurt again. Please help?? Thanks :)

Hi Eric,
I met dis guy in October last year, he seems to be into me but I’m not sure he is done with his ex tho he said he ain’t inlove with her anymore then he went further to say something that is really confusing and I need your help to explain it to me. He said “situations change” when i asked him if they are still together. Then I told him along the line that since we have knwn each other for like 7 months now, he knws me enough to knw if he wants a relationship with me or not, then he said “I’d rather respond to that in person” and dat he will be back soon. Why didn’t he just tell me what he wanted during our chat? Eric, what do you think? I’m really confused

I have been seeing this guy for just over a year now and we started off pretty good, hewas telling that he loves me and so on after a while he changed ssaying he never said that and he doesn’t want a relationship, but he wants me in his life…….now we are FWB and I’m cool with that,but one thing that gets me is that if I miss one day of talking or texting him he gets really mad at me and treats me cold when I ask him why he says “why are you talking toe now you didn’t call or text me all day”I really dont get this guy, he doesn’t want a relationship but he gets pissed when I’m not around…….I he does do nice things for me he buys me clothes we hang out with his family he wants me to meet his mom, this guy has me confused

My boyfriend of about 5 months used to text or call me each day, and now he doesn’t. I have been acting like it doesn’t bother me but I’m realizing now it does. We are long distance now, and I feel like it is more important to be in contact. How do I bring it up in a way that helps him see where I am coming from and not seem needy or clingy or like I am blaming/attacking him.

I met my BF over a dating website 2 and a half months ago, everything was going great, it is a long distance relationship, we’d talk for hours everyday, he’d call whenever he can, and text as well, then slowly that changed, we’d only talk once a day, it’s like it became a routine, and then I found out he is still using the dating website, I did confront him and he was all sweet about it, said it was no big deal and he won’t use it, but he did, when I confronted him again, he was like, he’s online because his mobile keeps showing that status cuz the app sometimes runs in the background, doesnt mean he’s using it, and then he got pissed about it cuz i brought the subject up while he was on vacation while we rarely got to talk properly, he eventually canceled the account, but now i feel like I dont trust him, when we talk now it feels weird, and he keeps texting while talking to me on the phone, I can hear the clicks, but he keeps on denying it and it gets him angry when I say stop texting, he’d be like, I AM NOT TEXTING. is he hiding something, or just avoiding conflict? he said that i’m acting like a detective now, everytime i text, makes him feel like a cry of attention, although i do it the same way i did before, and if i ask what are you up to, it makes him feel like i’m being a detective following up on every move of his, he says he loves me, he says he’s visiting in a couple of months to see me, he said he is serious and only wants to be with me, and once we meet in person and see how it goes, we might get engaged, but i don’t know how overcome this, is the lies a bad sign, does he only need space? i really want this to work out :(

I have trouble trusting my best friend/boyfriend. We started off as friends and we messed around a little bit before he started seeing this other girl. They dated for a year and we stayed friends and became best friends and we all got along fine. His girlfriend hated that we were so close though. Then they broke up and a few months later he started maked the moves on me. and I’ve been attracted to him I just never said anything because he was with someone else and I DONT CHEAT. He has cheated in relationships before and while he has a good heart he sometimes does not make the best choices. After his break up with his girlfriend he started seeing this other girl a week or two after, I told him it was too soon after his ex and he needed to take time for himself but of course he didnt listen till she moved away and started dating….another girl, he was having sex with a lesbian….and a month or so after that he started talking to me more and more and we went upnorth together to visit one of my friends. He started to show more and more signs that he wanted me as more then a friend and we discussed it. At this time in my mind there was no question, I did not want to be with him. But then he kept trying and trying and talking to people (my co-workers mainly) about dating me and how crazy he was about me and as time went on whenever we talked we started getting in little fights and disagreements. and then I told him we needed to talk about all the moodiness happening. He told me when we met up that he cant stand the thought of never having me again and would do anything to have me….at the time I said there wasnt a way…and my heart was breaking when I said it. I do love and care for him very much but at that time it was like a brother. After that encounter we all continued to hangout as friends but then one day I saw him differnetly and i wanted him. now we are dating but I have had a hard time trusting him and he knows why. I’ve seen him in past relationships. There is more to it but maybe I shouldnt even be sharing here.

I’ve always known my bf saves naked pictures of other girls for pleasuring purposes and been fine with it but recently since having the implant put in I’m struggling to accept it, we’ve spoken about how it makes me feel and he said he would delete them but since then he’s just hidden them under a password on his phone, I asked him to delete them in front of me and he said no, he’ll delete them later… I thought he respected my views but it turns out he’s been lying to me about it this whole time. I don’t know what to do since we’ve always said honesty is a big thing in our relationship. What else has he lied about?

Yeah I too saw a dirty picture of some porn star on my boyfriend’s phone as well. I wasn’t snooping around, I just happened to see it there as he was browsing through some photos he had on there to show me something.

I didn’t say anything and wasn’t affected by it as I know guys need that sort of stimulation from other sources other than you (as long as it doesn’t get out of hand)

Hi Tracey will u give me advice. Cause I too have issues with my bf porn collection. And him re-creating pics to put my head on porn stars body.. Isnt that weird? Or what do u think.. Please and thank u

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 year. He has gone on vacation for 1 month without me. He’s constantly texting me how he misses me terribly snd he feels sick and bored and how he wants to cut his vacation short. I feel that he is lying to make me at ease because I’ve heard stories about his vacations in the past. Any advice? Should I doubt him or give him the benefit of the doubt?

I’d assume being with someone for 5 years you would have had to built some sort of trust foundation with them. In my opinion, there’s certainly nothing wrong with being concerned. But let’s look at the facts, you’ve been with him for 5 years and during his “vacation” you mentioned he made the effort to constantly text you (what about phone calls?), and you’re confused if you should doubt him or give him the benefit of the doubt because of what you’ve heard from other people. My advice, don’t let what others say affect your relationship, because 1) they are not apart of your relationship 2) people lie or are misinformed, now it doesn’t hurt to hear them out and see what they have to say, but don’t make any rash decisions without consulting your lover first (especially breaking the trust you two have), because it could lead to more dents in your relationship. Let’s say you do decide to doubt him, then it turns out all he was doing was really missing you. He’d probably be extremely hurt that the person he loves so much & has been with for 5 years doesn’t trust him, because you believed in other people rather than in the relationship you two have built & him.

Me and my boyfriend been together for 7 and half months now. He texts me every day during the week and weekends. However he isnt as affectionate over text, he is but he isnt as open than in person. Anyway. Could posibly be that he can get or is attached to me since he texts me everyday?

Being affectionate over text is hard to express and understand as you don’t have the tone of voice to be emphatic in what you’re saying. The tone of the message could also be misread and misunderstood, I myself had experienced this on several occasions!

I’ve been dating a pretty great guy for a little over a month. We both have kids..I have 2 he has 1 and they are older 7, 9, 13. We met online and immediately hit it off. We laugh so much and are both great at helping each other,spoiling each other and giving each other all kinds of affection. My concern is…he has an obsession with his phone, on it texting or playing games all the time when we aren’t doing anything he will go in the garage to smoke and play on his phone. I let it go at first..maybe he needs me time. But then I found myself more and more after the kids were in bed sitting on the couch alone wishing he was there…and texting him when can we spend time together? Then he would immediately spend time with me, we laugh talk..then usually sex. Then he’d go down for a smoke and be gone for an hour. I told it bothers me…I can’t sleep when he’s down there, it plays with my head I feel like he’s picking online games over me. He assured me he wasn’t. And things were great. Then I came home he was cooking dinner and saw his phone and it had this pic of a girl and said wanna go on a date? I cooly asked him what that was about. He said it was part of an online game they just pop up. I said are you talking to any other girls…all those kinds of questions and no, no, no…you’re it. So that was Sunday I came home Thursday I was changing and his phone lit up with another one of those chicks…I made the decision to look at his phone. It was some app called Tagged and looks just like a dating service thing. I was so upset. I confronted him and asked him to leave for lying to me and keeping secrets…he said it was fake you could buy people and it wasn’t real..he’d never really talked to any of the girls…he was home with me every night. But I was like why are you telling them they are beautiful and goregous and yada yada..it hurt me so bad…he calls me that. He erased them from his phone…said he was sorry he was only using it as a game..started before we met and he didn’t know how to tell me. That he can’t bear losing me and he’s an open book…look at his phone anytime kinda thing. I want to believe him….but is he lying? I do think people can make mistakes I have in the past and I changed…I’m so confused.

He deleted the app from his phone but make sure he deletes his account! I met my ex on there and after 2 year together he was still chatting with girls, looking at their very exposed pictures and meeting up with them for sex. Don’t be fooled check his browser history!!!

Hi. Ok I’ve been dating a guy for over 3 years now. It started out as a hook up and he always told me if I wanted to see other people i should but when I did he always kinda freaked about it. Not majorly freaked but for lack of a better word… He’d start asking a ton a questions and telling me what to expect from men etc etc. He would ask if they took me to places like he did or did they do things like this! (like comparing them to himself so I’d see he was better) The last time was over a year ago. He really showed how much it bothered him. He is not an openly emotional man at all! That was the first (and only) time he told me he loves me. But he told me before and since then that we arent in a relationship that is going to progress in any way. He has his goals and that is that. He says he doesnt see any one else but wont make a commitment to be exclusive. I dont want the titles, I’m not ready to go and get married or even engaged. I mainly just wanna feel loved. I know he doesnt like to show emotion, I’ve just never really dated anyone like him before. Now that being said his actions are extremely different from his words. He acts like he loves me by doing little things to help me out, buys me flowers for holidays and i believe he does in his way. I’m just not sure if its in a friendly way or more. I do love him. I want more with him eventually. He treats me good and is a gentleman in every way. Just this wknd he went with me to my best friends wedding and he never would do anything like that before. I play things cool and I dont get emotional or confrontational but I’m confused and frustrated! There is so much more to it but I’m trying to keep it as short and simple as I can. I do not understand him! I’ve tried not to worry about it and just enjoy it. I want more or to at least know there is the potential for more.
I guess my questions is “Do I believe his actions or his words?”
P.S. I am a 33 yr old divorced mom of 2 (been divorced 5 yrs) and he is 34, never married, no kids, typical man who wants to have his house built and everything he needs before he gets married. (I think thats a good thing) He’s starting construction on the new house in a month or 2.

Doris I hate to tell you this but you haven’t got a relationship!! That is just crazy that you would waste your time on a man that you see once every 6 weeks. Please ask yourself if you can live the rest of your life with a man you hardly see!! He clearly does not share the same feelings that you have or he would make more of an effort!! As hard as I know it will be find yourself a man that will give you what you need and deserve!!! He will not change!!!

I’ve been in a long distance relationship with this guy. He has a great head of his shoulders and is very driven. He isn’t emotional and doesn’t compliment me much. I know I can be needy, but is it wrong to want your boyfriend to tell you he misses you? he never says it to me. We try to see each other once in 6 weeks. I’ve struggled with this for many months now – I’ve even talked to him, he doesn’t get it. He does have a very crazy work schedule. I’m beginning to feel like there’s no space for both work and me in his life. I don’t feel special to him at all. I miss him alot, but sometimes I just want to end it all. I changed my hairstyle yesterday and all I got was “cool”. Today, I told him I missed him and wished him a great day at work..all I got was “Thanks babe”. I haven’t had a boyfriend in 5 years and he hasn’t had a girlfriend in 2years. Is the adjustment process supposed to be this hard? Why can’t I just feel special to him? At my wit’s end

So the guy I am seeing, tells me he loves me, we had a pregnancy scare and he said he would be with me , and he hasn’t “been” with anyone since we started. However he told me that he is hanging out with this other girl and he is really starting to like her. He says he likes us both, he says both of the relationships are moving along nicely…. and i said well one day your going to have to choose one of us.. and he said I know..

Omg he is playing u both! Get out!!! Start seeing other guys need forget him before he breaks ur heart. He is sleeping with both of you and it’s like you’ve giving him the go card till he chooses between the two of you.

Hi Eric,, i have been dating this guy 4 months and he is with me every weekend!! He is amazing in nearly everyway!! So last Sunday i asked him where he thinks we are going with this and he said he didnt want a relationship!! I pretended i didnt care but i really was shattered.. Later that night i recieved a lovely text and i simply responded with “its such a shame cause you really are quite sexy!” Next day i recieve a text saying ” whats a shame?” I replied “that i know have to keep looking but thats ok!! Since then he has called and text everday sometimes twice and tonight told me he had bought me a present.. I am now really confused as i dont understand why he is now putting in the effort if he dosen’t want a relationship?? Please help,, i just think all men are wierd!!! :-)

Hi.
I have a problem that has been causing issues for me in this relationship.
Me and my guy have been together just over a year, and it’s always bugged me he keeps everything locked. His computer, his phone.. etc.. Never answered phone calls when I am around and so forth. So the seed was planted, but I confronted him a few times with this, and he was always on the defensive calling me paranoid and so forth. I’ve never been in a relationship like this before, all previous ones, we were open about everything, no troubles making calls, in front of the other, we’d have full access o each others thing, where then, jealousy never became an issue until now. I have always had the idea that, if there is nothing to hide, why hide it. Anyways, I confronted him, and after a while he ave in reluctantly to atleast not have his laptop passworded.. But it feels very restrained.. I dont feel I’d be able to just pick up his laptop when its conveniently there and use it.
But he knows now I am a bit suspicious and what bugs me. Now the other day we were sitting on the couch together, he had his laptop there, and opened facebook. There was a private message in his inbox, and he just ignored it because I was there. So the suspicious feelings all came back.. I sat there waiting for at least 10 minutes to see if he would open it. and he didnt. I then decided to test him, and walk into the kitchen. come back and see if its been read.. and voila, ´there it was.. read opened, and page closed down even. See now this makes me feel he is hiding things, i would never read, what there was, just glance and see who it was from maybe..I always open and chat with anyone and everyone openly.. as I trulu have nothing to hide… Now he tells me I am ruining the relationship, and I should just trust him period.. And his defensive attitude just makes my suspicions worse. There were times he asked me the same questions, where I would then just show him everything to ease his mind. imo thats something you do, to keep your mate happy and make him feel secure.. building trust. But when its the other way around, Im just a paranoid stupid nut. Please give me some advice on how to handle this properly.
Thanks
Claudia

i only have a question i ask my soulmate if he still loves me and if he is still in love with me. he said yes then he will say quit being childish what does he mean by that. we have been to together 10 years. sometimes i just want to hear it. when i want to hear it the most is when i have been having bad dreams sometimes my dreams come true. i had a dream that the house got done getting worked on. i came home he tells me to leave we was over with and was seeing his ex. am i being crazy i told him about the dream he said it was just a dream nothing was going ash i wouldnt have been with u this long. what u think

I have been going out with this guy for a while and it just started getting serious right as I leave town. I really don’t want a long-distance relationship, how do I break up with him when I’m hundreds of miles away?

Ok, so my boyfriend is great. We go on dates, hang out all the time. Great relationship, but I don’t want to seem like I’m nagging or selfish. I do nice things for him like get him a sou veneer if I go somewhere or bake/cook for him. I would like for him to return the favor sometimes. He knows what I like. I don’t need a guy to always take me out on a date, but it would be nice if he picked up my favorite coffee one day or got me some flowers without asking him to. How do I get him to do this without telling him directly because to me it seems like its not worth it if I have to tell him…. PLEASE GIVE ME SOME ADVICE

I’ve been with my boyfriend 6 months, he says he loves me but is not willing to change anything for me that inconveniences him unless I put repercussions on him. i.e. he said I couldn’t bring my dog to his house so I said I wouldn’t be going to his house and he conceded so fast I got whip lash. This after asking for months and getting no. Am I wasting my time?

Hello there ,
I just dont understand why we do better when we are single then we are in relationships.
i have been with my boyfriend for ninemonths .. during this nine months off and on he contacts his ex of three years.. we are both getting married and i am having his baby.. but this issue of him not letting his ex go is really bugging me .. just todya he said that we have only been togethr for one year whereas they 3 .. i thought they were together 2 years so .. it meant they are still continuing.. oh my goodness help i need some help here.. although he say they are not together. ( he is in camp training now .. but i just saw they contacted through some blog thing) and i ask him is he intending to get a divorce after we marry or not — though he says no ?? every call with him ends up him sayin I will call you back in five , ten or fifteen or at a given time and no call till i call him .
of all my relationships this ones the worse.. so somehow as i met those guys around his age.. this guy is younger than me .. i kind of could see the difference.
I kind of not want to ask him anymore and want to let go .. and do my own thing because he is like keep finding comfort else where .. and thing i will be going to blow up by keep sayin :; can you please say what u want to say
something like this. and even though i do .. there doesnt seem to be much answer..
just yes yes and i know i know.. Its killig me cause of this intense pressure and stress. all i see is from the blog he says that cause i want love and that things turn out this way.
and that you can choose a bad friend but you have to be careful what wife you choose..
i just feel if he doesnt want it .. could he just definitely say so ,, instead everytime i want to leave he calls me.. and funny like a soft sheep i go to him.
kills the shit out of me.

I think you should leave him to be honest.. especially if he keeps refuring to his ex. Do you really want to be one of those women who get married to a guy that doesnt care for you back? Because thats what it sounds like to me. Do what makes you happy most and really think about it, does he make you happy? Or does he make you down, unsure and annoyed? You deserve to be happy do what you think is right and be true to your self and thats really all you can do. (: hope it all works out.

What? Really, its urgent to know if you have hot eyes? What does that even mean? I would imagine you’re eyes are just dandy, honestly unless your face is horribly disfigured, I’m sure you don’t have bad eyes. But truely what you wrote really doesn’t describe your problem well. For instance, do you mean before you ever started dating he was obviously trying to say you have bad eyes? Or is this after you started using slang to get rid of him (which I really don’t see how that’s gonna make him run, even if he is a stickler for grammar)? And is your problem simply and purely a concern as to whether or not you eyes “look hot”? If it is, I really don’t know why you’re asking this site. What does your eyes being hot or not have to do with your relationship you don’t have now? If you want someone to ‘rate your eyes’ go to facebook, or twitter, or any blog site and post a picture of your eyes, I’m sure if they’re ‘hot’ or ‘really bad’ someone will tell you. You waste space on here, not for a relationship problem but to take a poll on your eyes that aren’t even submitted in your comment. Do you have nothing better to do but make non-relevant, ‘urgent’ (if you one can even call this urgent) posts on a dating and relationship site? Congradulations, you win the prize for making the least sense.

I’ve been seein this guy that I realy like for a month or so. Everything was goin really well. He came to my house every night, with no pressure from me I might add. He’d ring once twice a day to chat to me and constantly say nice things to me. I didnt call myself his girlfriend as I thought it was to early.He was so good to me and then
Suddenly did a complete 180 on me saying that he still wanted to see how things went but wasn’t sure he wanted a girlfriend! Now I feel quite hurt by the fact he doesn’t want to be my boyfriend! Please note I’m a very laid back person and didn’t instigate any of the loving behaviour. Very confused : / any advice would be welcomed!

Well… leaving comments is one way.
.
We can’t always answer them, but if they’re short and to the point, you have a much greater chance of getting an answer.
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Another way is to post your question in the forum (dating.anewmode.com) and you have a better chance of getting your question answered.
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Believe me, if I could answer every question personally I would, but we get hundreds of questions every day so we can only get to so many. Short and to-the-point will definitely help your chances of getting an answer.

I was with a man, for 12 years. He was young when we met. We broke up a few times, then it became final, only because he is now dating a much younger girl then him, from another country. She is very very young, and does not have a whole lot of life experience. She is 19, he is 31. The week we broke up, we made love, we cried, and he said he loved me. It was a very emotional time for both of us. It was like both our worlds were ending. The next week, he is texting this girl from the states, and falls deep in love, and they are telling each other they love each other. After a week!!! They didn’t even meet yet.
Anyhow, we get together for coffee etc. I talk, and I tell him how much I love him and want my life with him, as I always have. He gets emotional! He doesn’t delete or block me from any of his accounts, facebook or emails. He still needs the connection to me. We still talk on the phone, I still tell him I love him. Anyhow what I am asking is, being a grown woman, is this really just a phase because he was young when we met? Is he looking for his young hood so to speak? I have let him go, so he can experience this, knowing it is probably just a phase. However the way he looks at me, all the time, I know he still loves me. I tell him all the time, I know he still does.

Think of him as emotional vampire. He is healing himself and getting over you by being near you. He saps away your happiness. And while you love him if you two broke up and you want him back I would say to not contact him for about 3 weeks. This doesn’t mean avoid him like the plague and not respond to anything he sends your way. It means don’t make plans. Don’t chat of facebook or text. If he says hey say hey back but then tell him you are busy.

After three weeks contact him and your chances of getting back together are much better.

All what my boyfriend ask if i have brought him food.he normally visit me at my work place,he is from other country we all work at the border,if i dont bring he cant be happy until he go,is this normal,He is married and i also told him that i have a man to marry me,it is only that i cant control the love i have for this married man,Please help me,I love him so much what can i do to stop him,

Hi i have been in a relationship with this guy,he love me and i love him,but the thing is he is married,and i also told him that am enganged,but yet still he agreed and go on even if i get married he will still be with me and he insisted me to show him my man who will marry me.until i show him,he used to encourage me to give my husband to be respect in any way.I normally cook good food for this married man when ever he come to visit me at work place,But to my surprise he can talk loving words to his wife on phone in my presence but i don’t feel any pain,but me when my husband to be phone me he usually gets annoyed,He can praise his wife when he is with me,What is the meaning of this.One day he told me that there was a girl he knew long time ago and that girl started phoning him so he told his wife to answer the phone call to shut her down.Can he tell me such thing,is he not going to do the same to me the time i will start phoning him everytime becoz at the moment i don’t,And he has started insisting on making love to me he said he want to know if for sure i love him and i will not

Hi, So I’ve been hanging out with this guy for almost 6 months now, we’ve slept togeather on an off, obviously care for one another, we moved in togeather and now are roommates and decided to “just be friends” and have a “No more sex ect rule” and he broke that rule a month ago (I say he because he initiated it) and so we picked up where we left off. Now I’m not really ready for a relationship but I’m willing to try for this guy because we’ve become such good friends. I asked him about his feelings on the situation and he said “I don’t really know what I want right now” I can respect that but how long am I suppose to wait on something like that without getting my feelings hurt. I mean the term “Girlfriend” isn’t important untill he flat out lies to anyone he knows about any strings what so ever that attach to me other then “my roommate” but will act similar to a boyfriend infront of even his own family without realizing it. Then it kind of bothers me because I know he cares so why hide me and lie when it’s obvious to the naked eye?

OK well i got this ex boyfriend and we been together for 4 years and we had sex and like he tells me he loves me and i’m his everything. But yet his relationship on facebook says he in a relationship, and i asked him about and all he tells me is that she don’t mean anything to me. I love you and i only wanna be with you! Then i tell him to take it off then and he says ok i promise. But when i go look it’s still there, and i tell him how i feel about it then he doesn’t call,txt, me for the whole day.. But i know i love him a lot but i need help what should i do does he really love me or is he creeping around? Everybody tells me to break-up w/him…

You really need to say good bye to this guy. He is playing you, and his other girl. It is not fair to either of you. He is obviously not the greatest person, or he wouldn’t be treating woman like this. Sorry Selena, I realize it may be harsh, but he isn’t worth your time. You are better then this, and deserve more. Someone who respects you, and the ground you walk on. Not someone who walks on you.

hey, me and my ex have broken up for about a week now and we’ve been talking about normal stuff like how are you? and what have you been up too? but the real problem i have is whenever i ask him too get back with me because i still love him well he isnt replying back too me and i just want too know if he still loves me.

My boyfriend and i been together for 4 years we love each other ill do anything for him today i was’nt feeling well and he was heading home from work i called him and said if its ok that he can get me strewberries,he said he was tried and had a rotten day. He said he was sorry i said it was ok but my heart was unhappy.

My boyfriend and i been going out almost a year and i have gotten him gifts for his birthday, Christmas and now valentine’s day but his never got me anything for my birthday and for Christmas and he said we shouldn’t give gifts to each other for valentine’s day and I really don’t understand this……………… i knot its not about gifts but i would like maybe something nice from him for once…….. what should I do i could really use some help!

Here’s the thing about gift giving it should always be given when the person wants to not becuase of a Holiday. If he has not given you anything over the course of a year then he’s not a boyfriend at all. He’s just some guy you have become way to close to and his feeling aren’t as deep as your’s. I would move on and find a guy that cares for you. Men that are in love buy a Valentine card or a stuffed bear whatever the occassion.

My ex just called and we were talking I told him i was going out for lunch with one of my girlfriends and his like can u call so i know your not with a guy and then his like oh you don’t have to and then he started saying we can’t be together ever but we can be friends and sleep with each other still and then when one of us find someone else and gets in a relationship we will stop. He says we clash and i said we wouldn’t fight if you trusted me and he said i can never trust we would never work we are to different. Yeah we have things that we don’t have in common but so what that means we can’t work do we have to do the same things and have every single thing in common we both like whatever i don’t know why is he be like this saying we will never work and he wants me to go out and date.

So me and my boyfriend have 1year and 3months
Im 17years old and his 23 ilovehim but …..things havent
Been working the way I would like to dont get me
Wrong relationships are not perfect I now but when I meet him it was in a club
And well 1week past and we got together the first 2months were good but
When we turn 5 6 months we got to talk more and new more thins
About our selfs so he told me the first month he would talk to girls basically
CHEEEAT ON ME:'(
So I let it slide and well he goes out cclubing still but it gets me mad how we have
More than a year and cant tell me till someone else does it other than that his really cool nice outgoing fantastic but idk hoq ro deal with that ???ANY SUGGESTIONS PLEASSS!!

I really need advice :/
2 months ago i got really frustrated with how my then boyfriend treated me when we went to visit his family in another country, he was leaving me all the time, rude to me, and said i was frustrating when i didnt talk much when in actual fact, none of them spoke english!! before this we were extremley close and happy, we said we wanted to be with eachother for the rest of our lives so it completely threw me when he acted like this! although a bit before going away he was annoying me a lil when he became so tight with money when he got a good job and i didnt have a good one. Men!! so i said i wanted a break which lasted like a week as we ran into eachother in a club, i saw him come in and put his arm around another girl as he said he didnt think id want to get back with him so he was trying to move on. i later got with some one and the he had the nerve to have a go at me for it! 2 weeks later we got back together after talking and things, and he was really happy about it! but then he kept saying he was happy, then he wasnt then he was and to be honest his work hours didnt help! he wanted to break up before new years as he said he felt he was making us both unhappy which he was so we broke up. the next night (new years eve) i got a text from him saying happy new year with lots of kisses so i sent one back but with a few x’s, his reply was 2 and a half lines of kisses! what am i supposed to think?! we havent spoken since as i didnt reply, so any feedback would be appreciated!! thankyou! (sorry its so long!) lol

I dated this guy for about three month. Everything was going pretty well between us until one of my friends told me he was cheating on me and sleeping with other girls. I didn’t know what to make of this. I’ve thought about it over and over and I couldn’t understand why. When I asked him about it he was angry at me for thinking he would do that. He called and texted me everyday and whenever he was on break at work he’d call me. Everyday after work he’d try to come see me. This friend was a pretty close friend and she heard the news from her brother who hung out with him. We broke up because of this and he told me he’s tired of trying to defend himself for something he didn’t do. He stopped talking to my friends brother because of this. He said he could like to confront my friend who accused him for cheating and sleeping with other girls. I don’t know, I still care about him but I think its best that we stay broken apart for now, since I’ll be studying abroad for about six month.

It doesn’t help when my family hates him and wants to kill him because of what he supposedly did.

What should I do? I don’t know if he’s telling me the truth or not. I told him to wait and see what happens in six month and he told me he’d wait. Should I just ignore what my friend said he did. Part of me believes him but I also believe my friend. I’m fairly new to this relationship thing because he was my first boyfriend. :(

Me and my boyfriend have been together for going on 4 years. We lived together for most of time. When his friends started popping up he started acting wierd. Claimin i was cheatin on him. when i don’t believe in it. We have had 2 kids one that is now 16 months and a little girl 13 weeks ago and we put her up for adoption.(his choice not mine) and now he is acting weird towards me. I’m stayin with my mom and he is stayin with his. He talks to me all day every day. always asking me for things. or just wanting to talk. He wants to have a better relationship with his son. nothin bout me tho. what doed it mean?

Im having really mixed feelings about my bf. We have been dating for 6-7 months and we are extremely different than each other. Sometimes i love him, and sometimes I dont. I dont want to feel that way for the rest of my life. He is extremely sensitive and cries all the time. I need to break up with him but i really cant bring myself to do it. Hes 22 and hes way too immature. How do i break it to him? Ive told him many times about little things he does that needs to stop, and he says hell change but never does, and he never listens to me. I dont talk much so usually when I say something, its important. What should I do?

Hi Ashley, I totally understand you… I was in the same situation over a year ago. Sometimes I loved him, sometimes I really didn’t care about him. He was the most sensitive guy I had ever met, cried, had panic attacks, and relied on me too much. I felt like I had to be a mother in front of him because I am a very independent person. There were numerous things that I had told about the things he does that needs to stop, and he always said he would change but he never did. We dated for 9 months and I ended the relationship over summer break on Skype. Not the best way to do it I know, but as we spent time apart during summer I realized what a burden he was becoming and how he was mentally dragging me down along with himself. You should break up with him. You will find someone better, I promise. Because I did and I am very happy right now! I told my ex, “I tried to explain so many times, but in the end you never understood and were never willing to understand. You said you would change, but you never tried to. You could never understand how what meant so little to you could mean the world to me. I don’t think it’ll ever be possible for us to understand each other enough, so I think it would be best for both of us to part ways.” Good luck with everything and hope this helped!

He text me he was thinking about something that he wanted to say but he cannot say it but he wants to say it. He said he was confused. I don’t know if he was referring to me or with anyone. Please help me.

i have 4 years relationship with my bf. first 2years we have no problems but recently my bf doubt on me & creates lots of problem for me. i m high temper so i cant tolerate his suspicious mind. my family also know about our relationship. so i have no choice to let him go. i love him so much. he also love me. but in all day we have fight and break up. please give me some solutions. thank you.

i have known this guy for 3 years, he first wanted FWB and i didn’t want so we talked for sometime and he asked me to go out with him. it was my final year in uni and i was very busy so i rarely had time to talk to him and after we had dated for about a week he sent me a text telling me he couldn’t believe i was that busy that just texting him would be hard and said that i was feeling all important and suggested we break up. so after that we kept in touch cos i told him i didn’t want to be enemies over that such stupidity. So its been like 2 two years and we kept talking on and off and he would ask me whether i’m dating and he was clearly interested in my life. he kept asking me to go over to his house and telling me that i should sleepover and i told him i wouldn’t do that because we weren’t dating. Then this one time he asked me to go over to his house for dinner and i agreed since i had refused so many times, then things happened and it got too late to go home and i had to sleepover at his house and needless to say we had sex for the first time. he said it was the best he had ever had and he hadn’t ever been with a girl that was as in charge as i was in bed and kept talking about how great it was, so after a couple of days we met up again and had sex and after that he would want to cuddle and talk for long after. then this time he had a bad flu and i went over to his house to see him and after i went back home he started texting me (he had been texting me daily since we had sex) then told me that we should try work out our relationship again. I was skeptical about it, but agreed and that was about 3 months ago, so we’ve been having great sex, then like a month ago he told me he had a 6 year old daughter, and i was mad cos he had never mentioned it, so we had this really big argument but we sorted things out and have been okay since then, so every saturday i go over to his house and make him dinner since its the only time we have to exclusively hang out then last friday he didn’t seem very keen on talking to me but we still spoke. then on saturday he requested me to go to his house early to spend more time together. then in the evening he told me he had decided to go out and i was shocked because i wondered why he didn’t want me to be there and when i asked what time he was going he told me that he didn’t know and it really hurt my feeling so i just replied and said okay. from then on he didn’t talk to me and it was really stressing me but i was mad he didn’t want to be with him i didn’t bother to talk to him. so monday i sent him a text and told him that i would drop his key off at his place of work, and we talked for a bit and kinda ended things and he told me that i was behaving like he would die without me. then i went to take his key yesterday and he was talking to me nicely as usual and we spoke a bit and he said that he hadn’t planned on going out he just wanted to and just wanted to see if i cared and would try to stop him, so i told him i thought he told me that cos he didn’t want me in his house and was trying to avoid me and he said he would’t do that so he kept quiet since i wasn’t trying to talk to him.

Eric,
I do not know you, but you are my best friend! U know why? U taught me through your writings what nobody else has managed to: that is: to have a healthy happy relationship with myself first. You articles made me feel more confident and happy with my life and realize that I do not have to depend on others in order to be happy, and since then my relationships with all people in my life have improved. I am still single and I am yet to find a guy I want to be in a relationship with, but I have a much healthier attitude about my past and future relationships :) Thank you so much, and keep up the great work and help you offer to so many people!

Okay, so me and my ex broke up about a month ago. We were really close and we hung out everyday and now that I think about it that was a bad idea. We got bored of each other and when we hung out we didn’t know what to do. I was too dependent on the relationship for my happiness and I didn’t have any me time. We went on a break for a couple of days and I honestly thought that would never have happened and I was shocked. After a couple Of days we got back together and it was kind of awkward and we were fighting. One day I asked him to hang out with me and he just seemed so bored and like he didn’t want to hang out. I kept asking him what was wrong but he kept saying nothing. Then without thinking I said maybe we should just break up because we aren’t happy anymore. He didn’t say anything for a while but he said how about this we break up and if we still feel Fsomething for each other in a couple of months we will tell each other and we can still be friends. At first I said yes and I was crying because of the break up and we were both sad about it but we kept talking to each other for a couple of days. Then I told him I didn’t want to be friends because it was too hard And I wanted to be more than friends and he didn’t understand why I didn’t want to be friends and he ended up getting mad at me. A couple of weeks later I told him I was okay with being friends and he said he would think about it. Later he texted me saying that he gave me a chance and I didn’t take and and he thinks we shouldn’t be friends. I was so mad and sad and I didn’t know what to do. I kept texting him Everyday begging him to be my friend and just asking him what I did wrong and he eventually told me he never wanted to befriends and he was just being nice although we both agreed to be friends and he wouldn’t tell me why he didn’t want to be friends with me because I would. Ty and told me to leave him alone. I was devestated and I couldn’t believe what he was saying to me. I have still kept trying to be friends but he just ignores me and I asked him what I ever did to him and why is he acting like I was the worst gf ever and he said that he isn’t gonna Answer my texts anymore. I am still texting him sometimes trying to be nice to him even though he’s been a jerk to me but I know that our breakup shouldn’t have ended like this and I messed up. Right now we are avoiding each other and being mean to each other but sometimes it seems like he still cares about me. Idk what to do should I tell him that what we are doing is stupid and that we should be friends? We have had a lot of problems with our relationship and he probably doesn’t want to have to deal with them which is why he’s ignoring me as well but what should I do? Should I just let him go and get over him or should I try to get through to him? I really loved this boy and I know he loved me we would always talk about our future together and I just don’t want to lose him. Thanks

I think you should leave him alone and move on!
The reason I say this is because beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
If he can’t see through what seems to me honestly is little insecurities that
happen in every realationship then he doesn’t deserve you.
Im in my second month with my amazing boyfriend. We’re 5yrs apart.
I’m 18 and he’s 22 some of the things that I do he’s been through already so he thinks it’s childish. We’re actually at that stage right now that after the enitial first month of pure puppy love where everything each other did was cute now it’s tiring and boring. We talked about it and we decided to try new things. Find ways to spice it up. This is a lesson for a future realationship. STOP texting the poor boy. Don’t drive him away but make him miss you. Play the game if you want him back. I’m not saying it’ll work but it’s not to late to try. He’s so used to purposely annoying your texts. Just stopping will make him wonder what’s up with you. Then let some time past. Maybe send a text saying Happy New Years and leave it at that. Don’t even reply if he does. Take his shoes and put them on. He’ll wonder why you aren’t texting him back and miss you. If it doesn’t work don’t freak out and start texting him. By this time it should be easier to detach from the realationship after playing the game a bit and prepare you for the next realationship.

Go get your man girl. If its this one or the next one in line! GOOD LUCK!!!

Hey my ex has a new girl and his life they was chilling n I knew nothing about it.. n out of the blue he wanted to talk and text more with me.. Then she did some to make herself noticeable cause I knew nothing about her! So once I seen them hugging and kissing but now he doesnt do those things with her.. Why will he come back in my life if he was chilling with her! He tells me everything they do and they only hang out late night but he is trying to keep me in his life and he say she is cool but he cant see his self with her and he has none else to do! What should I do?

GiGI,
If this man doesn’t see himself having a future with her, then WHY is he with her? It sounds to me like he doesn’t know what he wants and is just trying to get the best of both worlds. If he treats her like that then you can see how he will probably treat you. Would you want him to talk about you like that? Would you want him to say that to another girl if you were with him? And if he is only using someone because he has nothing else to do…. HE REALLY NEEDS TO FIND ANOTHER ACTIVITY! (He is basically using her.) You only know that he doesn’t kiss her or hug her IN YOUR PRESENCE. You don’t know what goes on when you are not there. Sounds like the guy needs to do some soul searching and decide what he really wants. Be his FRIEND… but I wouldn’t go for anything more than that. Hope that helps. Good luck.

very expericed but you never no how the women might react to anything and how the man might take everything just saying like its great advince and all but sometimes things are more complacated then that things get hard theres ups and downs and on and offs but nothing matters if you truly love each other everything will be ok in the end you just have to work on everything that your going throw but you cant do it alone you half to do it together or nothing is ever gonna work you need to say everything on your mind dont hide it or save it for later if you dont like something say it thats the best never hide anything becuz hiding it will only make it worse and just the thought always be truthful always tell the truth and never try and confort any one with a lie becuz it will only turn out bad in the end

I have been dating this guy since August. It’s been going good but I would like a little more space. He gets upset when I hang out with my friends and the makes me feel like i’m the bad one here. I’m starting to really care for the guy but it seems like we argue for any little thing or no let me rephrase that we seem to argue when he doesn’t get his way with me. If i say no he throws a fit and it’s either his way or he blows up. I’m really sick of it but yet when he goes to his buddies house he wants me to be fine with it “which I am cuz the space that I or that we give eachother is good” i think but he doesn’t. I never through a fit when he goest to his buddies but when I hang out with mine he gets all upset. What is up please I need answer? Thanks.

I’m going to be completely honest with you I am married to a guy just like that I love him to death but wieh I would have left before my emotions got too strong he’s loving and caring when he’s not trying to tell who I can talk to that’s why it makes it so hard. …you should let him know that your not going to put up with it before it gets harder to do so….now its hanging with friends but trust me there will be more. I’m not trying to tell you to break up by all means I’m just trying to make it easier for you I’m having a hell of time trying to do it now. …I married into it which makes it sooo much harder to make it change.

I am in a relationship just like that. i’ve been with this guy for 2 years. we are long distance. i love this guy so much but i really dont like it when he gets upset with me for going out. with him it is a little different though the only places he doesnt want me going is to clubs or to house parties. So i dont kno if in this case im the one wrong for going to these places. Whenever i go to the clubs i go with my girlfriends i never dance with other guys n wen it comes to parties is the same thing i dont even drink. Im not sure what is his worry. and then he tells me he doesnt go out often just so i wont do it either but he goes out alot more than me. I dont know what to do because im 18 and im in college and obviously i like to go out but then again i love this guy. PLEASE help me too. i would really appreciated

I was married to someone like the guy you described and when I realised he would never change, I just gave it all up… not worth the time and effort. There’s always someone out there who will be just the person you’re looking for. It only takes a bit of patience and not giving up on meeting other people. Trust me – been there, done that :)

if your bf sms over your phone and says everything is finished between you and me….the girl doesn’t replay because she doesn’t want such thing to happen and when the boy gets to know that the girl has read the sms…If he gives you a miss call over phone at that very moment and girls calls back to ask ” did u call me ?” and he replays by saying “no i didn’t it was by mistake ” what does that mean ??

I’ve been with my boyfriend for about a year now and i am completely in love with him.. everything about him seems to be perfect and he treats me like i’m the most important thing in the world. He is always saying how much he loves me in really sweet ways and how much i mean to him and i feel the same way. How can i let him know that he is everything to me without sounding cheesy.? :-) x

i have met a german guy march 29, 2010. he was intruduced of my friend england to me. we had a dinner date and been to disco with him, early morning i slept with him. i go back home late afternoon. next day he invited me to go out with him in tourist place. then we spend another night again, until i stay longer for one week. but then after a week he had to leave and go travel to other places. communication still keep going on. then he came back here and we live together for 3months then he bring me to travel with him too. after 4th month he has to go back to germany. but then when his in germany, after 2 months he delated me in facebook and he dont talk to me anymore. he broke up with me so i was hurt then i found other guy who help me and support me. after it, i still love him he added me back then we get back again. i broke up and surrender the guy who supporting me just for him. now he change dunno if his cheating

Here’s the story. I have a friend who is an ex who really wants to be with me again, But hes with a girl who he got regnant and says that after the baby is born and adopted off hes gonna ditch her to get back with me. Not to mention hes been saying to me “I love you, I want you.” and asks of nude photos of me and wants to have sex with me behind this girl’s back. Hes telling her and other people that hes not gonna leave her but tells me a whole different story. According to him its so people won’t bitch at him.So what do you think is going on with his head? Cause according to him hes only with her cause shes pregnant but his heart is beating for me.

You should realize that hes having a baby with her you should be telling hym to stay with her that you dnt wan to be with hym that he should be there taki.g care of her cuz giving up a baby is really hard and shes gonna need hym whyare youso shallow tell hym to stay with her tell hym that your not important anymore yall broke up that he has a new responsibility… And if you dnt like this girl than your really a bitch not trying to be mean really im not bt its true you should be helpfull and tell hym to leave you alone come on be the reaponisble one and plus if does breakup with her and your stupid enough to get with hym than everyone will just be hating on you too do you realy want that damn just do the right thing leave them alone cuz then he will see that you want nothing to do with hym he’ll prolly leave you alone and stay with.her and protect her and support her cuz thats wht shes gonna need notall this break up bulshyt dn you think she e deserves better imean its not her fault they got ttogether he qanted to be with her she deserves hym right now he deserves to be treayed withrespaecr and alot of other things nt be a bitch and ruin it cuz trust me you wnt want that and if you do youe a sick bitch and you deserve all the breakups in the world!!!!!

iv been in an similar situation, me and this boy was meeting behind his girlfriends back for a while, he told me he loved me and he wanted me ect and he was just waiting for the rght time, he was a really nice guy and seemed intrested, but it never happened and a couple ov years later he is still with her and their happy, if she is pregnant with his baby and he is still with her, u need to ask yourself if he is worth breaking up a family and you never know he myt not leave her, but if he does will use last and will you b as happy as he could be? you dfont wana cause urself pain when its not needed. im guessing the girl will need him if its her first and thier baby will need a dad is it really worth it?

Hello, I just want to know why do my boyfriend like to make love to me, or have sex? he’s gets so excited when he make me orgasm… why won’t he let me break it off with him? I love him I truly do but at times he can be abusive, and force his self on me… He haven’t told me he love me lately.. why? do he still love me or not we been together off and on for 20 years.

break up with him! it will only go down hill! trust me many other guys are better! to me it sounds like he is just using you. there are more fish in the sea. he is not the guy God would have for you:) keep looking. if it is dangerous to break up with him do it sercertly and get help:)

is the christian carter guy for real or a fake, i mean is his book catch him and keep him for real or just something to get money,is it true what he says in his book, cos over the net some are saying his good and others say his a con artist and fraud and playing on the women and their insecurities and some say its just a marketing stuff to make money and say that that they get charge repeatedly for the same thing that they purchase with their credit card

im so confused! ive known this guy for 3 years and have always had a thing for him, and we started talking properly last year, we talked like 24/7 everday and we met up and kissed and he told me he loved me mutiple times, then everything changed he went to university and he rarely talks to me and he’s getting close with this girl, did he actually love me and if he did how could he move on so quick…. i dont know what to do i still like and always think about him. PLEASE HELP!

me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years its been up and down and a few times we have toke a break were not perfect but then again nor is any other couple. im so confused one minute he can be sweet loving etc but every now and then (when hes drinking) he can be abusive hes pushed me (never hit) just very aggressive. and in the morning he says sorry and then act likes everything is fine. he says he wont be going out drinking for a while that we should save our money to move into our own place then sure enough a few days/weeks later out the blue he says hes going out drinking. so we argue but it doesnt stop him doing it. yes i know he should be going out with friends not with me all the time and ive never been one to control what he does but its so annoying when he says he wont be doing this and that and sure enough hes back doing it again. i dont know weather im over reacting or not. please help!! x

My boyfriend and I have been living together for 5 yrs…we have 2 lil girls. He says he loves me, but can’t say why?! Then when we argue I hear he hates me, can’t stand me, claims the reason he won’t spent time with me is because of how I am…he doesn’t like people like me. His thing is, he feels that I need to come at him right…with “RESPECT” he hates that I talk with my hands, he hates that I speak up for myself. Anything I’ve shared with him when it involves a disagreement with another peron…he always looks at me like I’m to blame..I’m the f***d up bitch who don’t know how to communicate. I over heard him one time on the phone with his mom, telling her he was just staying with me for his daughter….his mom has

brought problems in our relationship. I’ve told him no mixed signals….u don’t like me, that’s fine…let’s figure out like adults how we can end this and not keeping going thru this.. he won’t spend time with me…but yet I’m not allowed time for myself. If it ain’t about me doing something for him or our daughters he makes it difficult.

My friend started to see this guy. Nice guy but he picked her up beer on the way over and when she offered to give him money for it he took it. I think this might be a deal breaker… what do you think he should have done?
PS he works and owns a company (small) with his friends has his own house and car.

I am 17 and I am in long distance with a guy of 21 years living in Italy. We knew each other when we were very small. He is my best friend’s cousin and we do have family relations as his mother belongs to my home town. He was interested in me when he was in relationship with some other girl 4 years back and I knew this. Early also we were in relationship for a month or two 3 years back with I left him because of some family problems. But we are again together from 3 months and 16 days. He lives Italy and I have came from Italy to study in some other country so i don’t want him waste money on calls so we chat for hours and hours.And at times I do call him but my call him I remain with no words. In our chat he likes talking about sex and asks me to meet nowadays I know doesn’t mean being practical as this is not possible in our religion. We both love each other alot. What should I do with his talks ?? I never met him as his girlfriend should I go this time when I go to Italy ?

long distant relationships are hard.
but if you like this guy like it seems you do, you should meet up as his girlfriend you might discover you dont feel as strongly as you thought you did about him
and im suggesting you dont have sex with him, wait until you know he’s the right one
no regrets. xo

i will surely go and meet him, sex is not an issue as he just talks to make our chat more interesting nothing else …what do u think should i encourage him in such talks ?? because his x with whom he was serious has left him and he doesn’t want that i leave that way he talks about s**….do u think his being interested in me when he was serious with some other girl was a right thing ??

Am in a very funny situation, i met this guy who i like , i did so because he looked responsible hard-working, and focused , things went so first because i knew he wouldn’t judge me because the first time i didn’t like him we where drunk and he tried to put his tongue in my mouth but i gave him space because i knew i will see him again when he comes to see my brother, after on and off communication we met at his friend house we hit it off and we had sex what made me love him more i was menstruating but he never cared i was dirty the first time, so after dropping me home he told me i will see u tomorrow of which i didn’t see him , i went for a trip for a week when i came i thought he would call me and find out how the trip was , so i had to call him, his response was i will call you back of which he didn’t , what i did i txt him saying ” i liked you for who you are but no matter where we met lying has never been corporate at all” his response was that i disrespected him that if am not comfortable with this it should end here he concluded with the txt saying he is going to delete my number and i should stop calling him, i never replied the txt i cut the contact for one month all i did was praying about us , now i want to renew the contact i have sent him a massage asking if he minds going for a cup of coffee with me sometime now two days no response
it you where you in this situation what would do to this kind of a person because i love him and i want to settle down am tired of dating
PLEASE ADVICE

im finding it really difficult to keep a conversation going with my boyfriend threw text
it seem he doesnt respond to me,
i get to seem him every friday and in the week differnt days depending on work and everything as he lives far
when we are texting the conversation doesnt flow i try to spark the conversation up with weird things but i still cant get him to have a decent conversation with me
its always lol, ok babes, ye babes just simple replys nothin i can add to its stressing me out how can i fix this
our relationship is great but out communication is failing wen where not around eachother i dont no what to do.. whats his problem never use to be like this :/

my boyfriend and i have been going out for a little over a year and a half. we are really in love and really serious. he’s my best friend and most of the time he’s amazing. we’re really serious and we have plans to stay together. he’s told me that he wants to be with me forever, marry, have kids, etc. we barely ever fight, however the two fights that we have had in our relationship have been explosive. both times he found out something that he THOUGHt i did and over reacted (in my opinion). when we got into these arguments, we fought for weeks. however it wasn’t back and forth fighting, he would send me sporadic texts or facebook messages that were extremely hurtful. he would call me a whore and a slut, he said he hated me and that i was a dirty little liar. he went on and on like this for weeks, and whenever i called him or texted he wouldn’t respond and then when i finally offically broke up with him, two hours later he told me he wanted to be with me. we go to school about a half an hour away from each other so this was all done he never apoligized for the things that he said but i think he just assumes i believe he didnt mean them. i’m really happy that we’re back together and everything is fine, however i have this horrible feeling that something bad is going to happen again. is this feeling or anxiety normal? is it a trust issue like am i just worried that hes going to have another out burst again?

I really feel better to have seen this website, I have a boyfriend who used to care a lot about me, we met 2yrs back, and ater a year he asked me to have a baby with him, promised to marry because i told him that the father of the baby i want should be the man who is going to marry me, we agreed on that. I was living about 780km away from him after the pregnancy because of the transfer i was given. Ever since he went to the place once, and never started to tell me that the place is far but he never did until i asked for a transfer. My man has changed a lot that even if i am around he enjoys the company of the other guy who we are sharing a house with. He never seat next to me, always besides the girl. I even asked him wheather they are in love, he said he has realised that the girl has a crash on him, then why can’t you stop playing with him, he said he cannot control the girl’s feeling he cannot stop them i should ignore, this is killing me coz even if i talk to him things become worse, this happen even in front of this lady’s husband, she is married.
I bed he distance himself from me, he never kiss nor hug, he never enjoy talking to me, never sms like he used to, never call me with those romatic names, this girls is always calling him and they will spend more than an hour talking in my presence, all these he did to the girl infront of me. what is wrong with this man, is he still in love with me, please tell me the truth about this gug.

Hey i have a problem.. Ive been with my bf 18months and just recently he has found out i lied and he ended it with me. How can i get him bk? How can i prove to him that i wouldnt do it again? Recnetly hes become very distant and thoughts r going through ny head like does he have a new gf has he cheated.. Im not sure what to do. Can u help me get him back please?

help.. i just cant understand my bf. we have a 6 year gap and almost dating for a year. at first he was relly sweet and caring and always have time for me. then after 5 months in dating, we became intimate and then the changes happen. he doesnt reply to my text but when we are together if sumbody text him he replies right away, his ex is always calling him, yet he can answer the phone, but when im calling he rarely answers. when we are together i feel so happy and he shows me he cares, but when we are not together, we are completely cut off and i always make the move first, to text, to call (even if hes not replying) and makig plans. he always says he is just busy, but is 2 minutes or just to answer too much? i told him he should answer and text and he said ok, but then he will not do it..what can i do? im reaching the limit of my patience, i do really love him, but whats he doing to me,is it love? bec i cant feel it..i dont know what to do..he is only sweet when he wants to be intimate, but after doing that he is not sweet, then i will feel used and stupid..

okay so, ive been with my boyfriend for 9 months now. things were great. we hungout all the time, he called me and texted me on a regular basis. then a couple weekends ago we got in a huge fight it went on for hours and ended in us not talking for the rest of the night and sleeping in separate rooms, (i dont live with him, i was just at his house that night) the next morning, i went to where he was and told him i was leaving, he told me to come closer to him so i did and he cuddled with me and told me to take a couple days to cool off. so i did that. we didnt hangout for a week after that. and the following weekend we spent together, and we fought again. but managed to pull through. and things were fine. but now its come down to him not calling me or texting me ever.. it could go on for days, we will be online at the same time and he never says anything to me. this has been going on for a week now. its something i bring up to him all the time and we fight because he thinks he shouldnt have to deal with these conversations. but i tell him all the time things would be different if he showed effort again. he tells me he loves me and cares about me, but lately hes not showing it the way he used to. he tells me he needs space, but im afraid that space will push him away from me. i dont want this to result in a break-up. he means to much to me, please help me understand whats going on in his head, i try to just not talk to him and go about doing my own things, but i always give in and call him. but now after reading the other posts on this website im coming to realize that space could be all he needs to spring back. is it to late to fix things since this has been carried on for more then a week?

Eric,
I have been in a wonderful relationship for 2 years and he always said he wants to marry me. But recently I found that he was lying about his past and he was married twice before and had kids from these relationships.He always told me he was a bachelor in his entire life. I want to leave, but I am so much in love with this guy.So I decided to stay, but went ahead and asked him. To my surprise, he left me with out a word and hasn’t contacted me for the last 2 months, actually send one text sayinng he loves me and that I hurt him . I am so confused now. Why won’t he try to work it out or say something instead of walk away as if 2 years means nothing for him?
I want this man and is there any way I can make him talk to me?

Tell him that u love him, and that u were just curious about his past. I mean who isnt? if i want to know somethin bout my bf and he tells me the whole truth. It’s called TRUST and COMMUNICATION!!! Ask him y he lied, and y it was a secret. Then tell him it’s not the choices he made, but the person he is, that made u fall for him. U love him for him, not the name of him, or what he is or what he does, u love what makes him up. From his laugh to his smile. And all the sweet talk, and how he makes u feel better when ur down. ask him y he would leave u after 2 years of happiness, just cuz u found out somethin bout his past. Tell him u dont care about that, that u only care bout u and him, nothin else. This almost always works. ?;)

And, I do think that if you’ve clearly indicated what makes a man happy and neglects to nourish that, he’s giving you a message (and, I could be wrong). I’m going through a tough time myself. One month we’re great – he gets close – we get close. Then, all of a sudden, he pulls away and stops his chase. One day, I’m sitting on top of the world and I just want to run into the streets and scream, “I’M SO HAPPY – I’M IN LOVE”, but then it seems to crumble and I’m totally dumbfounded. I’m so pleased I found this site!

So ive been going out with my boyfriend for over a year and hes cheated on me and i took him back, because he says he loved me. But he did it again. I TOOK HIM BACK AGAIN. but i feel like i cant trust him, hes gonna do it again like before, but then again hes the only one thats there for me and he’s really kind and caring. He shows he really loves me, but i dont know if he really loves me. Hes lied and cheated so i dont know if to believe it.

The guy ive been dating for about 7 month used to be very sweet/cute thru texting/ calling. Ive noticed last few months he hasnt been like that as much. is that just normal when u get out of the honeymoon phase and more comfortable with each other?

I have been acting a bit more needy, clingy latelty…would that make him withdrawal a little bit too?

Yeah, lots of people get “comfortable” in a relationship… which sounds innocent on the surface, but translates to putting less into the relationship, which leads to getting less out of the relationship.
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The whole honeymoon phase is a common description of a relationship, but when you think of it like I just described, doesn’t it kind of sound depressing? And yet… obvious too?
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Here’s the thing about the neediness creeping in… oftentimes, two sexy people get into a relationship.
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They have their independent, fulfilling lives: their friends, their hobbies, their activities, their adventures, etc.
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And then, slowly but surely, they start giving up those pieces of their independent lives to spend more time in their relationship.
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At first, it’s all delightful – the guy and the girl are putting their best into the relationship and they’re getting fulfillment from the relationship.
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Then life starts throwing stresses and obstacles in the way. One or both people in the relationship start putting other things in front of the relationship. They start chasing their goals and putting out the daily “fires” that come up in life.
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And then they’re exhausted and they turn to the relationship for support and all that.
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Except now, since they haven’t been investing their best into the relationship, they start getting less back. The other person is in the same boat – dealing with life, putting other things in front of the relationship and not putting as much in, but expecting to get just as much out…
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And both people start saying, “What happened to my relationship? Where’s all the juice that I used to get from it?”
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Well… you get what you put in. And because you’ve now replaced all your old lifestyle activities with your relationship as your sole source of replenishment, you start to freak out. You NEED that energy that you used to get from your life… but you’ve created a dependency on your relationship to get it.
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And that sole dependency on your relationship to fulfill you (neediness) causes stress on your partner. It pressures him. It ADDS to his problems and stresses instead of replenishing him.
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So, he starts going elsewhere for replenishment – maybe to hang with friends, watch TV, hobbies… some refreshing distraction to try and “fill him up”.
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Now you’re really freaking out, because it looks like he’s withdrawing, whereas the truth is he’s just trying to fulfill himself.
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ALL this can be avoided if you make fulfilling yourself a priority and don’t NEED your relationship to be that source of fulfillment. Let your life fill you up, and then let the overflow of your fulfillment spill into your relationship (John Grey was actually the first person I heard put it like this, so credit to him on that metaphor.)
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Hope that helps and thanks for your concise, to-the-point question. :)

My boyfriend broke up with because he was going through a lot
,The bank took his car and his house was about to be reposesed,so we
He dumped he said he doesnt want to waste my time so it is better if i just dump him and moveon with my life he said he want to serve god,he doesnt want to date anymor
,So didnt argue with but i just let it go.3months lata i called him
With my new number so he didnt know it was me he confesed
He is invovled i felt so relift after knowing the truth,

And to all of you who have problems in with your boyfriend or girlfriend
Let it go stop making yourselves some1 second option,T.D jakes said
If piple walk out of your life let them go,it mean you were not
Conected to them so let them go,is not easy i know but trust me
U will thank yourselves

I just want to lay my head on your chest and feel the warmth of your arms around me while listening to the your heart beat…
and he responds “wow baby that’s nice… thank you”
so i then text ” hope the feeling is mutual” ‘
and he doesn’t reply. After 1/2 hr I text “guess not” then he resends the original reply and says ” did i not reply? ”

my boyfriend and i broke up last year for a year and now were back together we broke up the first time cuz according to him he got scared because he had been hurt before and the first time we dated which was a period of 10 months he began treating me like i meant nothing and i stayed because i loved him and now that were back together and hes apoligized a million times and treats me so good but im so scared out of my mind and im worried that will ruin us or he ll get bored of me. but my question is what does is mean when a guy says hes fallen for you. he was saying he was falling for me but a last week told me he has fallen for me

i broke up with him 4 months ago but i want him back. I want to see him but he ask me why i want to see him and if i am fine and he also told me he is trying to move on and he suggest i do the same. but i feel he still loves me but trying to control his feeling.

I wanted to know if my boyfriend in cheating…or well in this case would you guys think it is considered cheating or that he will cheat? Well recently on facebook an old friend has contacted me and found out I was dating my current boyfriend and added him as a friend and now I think they may be talking to each other. I know both their passwords and they have private emails to each other stating about if she ever comes our city they want to meet up for “a date” and he confides in her. When I ask if they speak he tells me just a few times while playing facebook games but never mentions the emails. They talk about things could happen and that they are still young and stuff? She isn’t physically in the same state as us so he isn’t doing anything sexually just sharing these emails and some serious talk with each other, would you guys consider that cheating? Please let me know so I can either get these thoughts out of my head or get that asswipe out of my life Thanks :)

I had been dating my boyfriend for basically almost 3 years. Junior and senior year of high school and it was not the best relationship. He didn’t treat me like he should and everybody saw it but I was still in love with him and we were best friends and told each other everything and he helped me through some very hard times so I still loved & cared about him. We took a year break though our first year of college. We got back together this summer and things were supposed to get better but they didn’t. He left for school and became distant. He came to visit me 2 weekends after (it was my first weekend of college) and while he was out of my room I logged onto his facebook (i know thats bad)

I saw that he had been talking to this girl that he had a thing with last year… and he had told me they hooked up last year (which was fine because we weren’t dating)
But i saw stuff on his facebook that they were still talking and i could see that he hooked up with her (at least once)

SO i confronted him about it and he said he kissed her drunk once at a party.
BUT, didn’t tell her he was dating me. kept texting her and facebook messaging her and hanging out with her and didnt tell me any of this and actually lied to me about it.

I started to give him another chance cuz he told me so many amazing things and he changed completely and gave me so much love but then i decided i could not forgive him right now so now i am not talking to him.

but my problem is i miss him so so so much and i want to talk to him so so bad but i think we need to move on and see other people becuase what he did was bad.

do you think he is unforgiveable?
am i doing the right thing even though i am so so so sad and i miss talking to him so so so much?
i cant imagine never talking to him or seeing him again

but he messed up and does not deserve me. maybe im sad because he was my first and only love?

Steph same thing me and my now husband in a very long distabce erlationship for very long time we have never lived together. I thought things were great but found he cheated on me not once but twice maybe more? But 2 times I can account for and then he was messing around with a girl ona cruise ship that he worked on and found out he had 2 facebooks on the one facebook he had her on his frineds list she had their picture up and stated they were in a relationship. Fought to get control over that find out he still texting girls hes meeting on the ship telling me they are co workers finding out they were guest on the cruise ships. Every time I ask him he get pissed off cos I checking on him well I am the one that should be pissed off because byt his time we are married he used t have his status on facebook as married but now he makes it so his profile hides that info and Im seeing him having his picture taken with all these different girls. Based on previouls lies I really wonder if hes back to cheating on me, something he swore he would never do after we got married and oh yes we do have a baby together, he always calls and says kiss her for me but makes no such remarks to me. In fact I had a battle with him and his damn ass attitude tonite as well.

October 24, 2011, 3:06 am

Steph

Your article is very helpful but I am curious about something else. I am in a long distance relationship and is it a sign that he doesn’t like to call or say anything affectionate unless I ask him?

I really want this to work but it feels like I am just on the back burner when it comes to him.

Some guys don’t like saying affectionate things. It’s not that they don’t care, but saying it feels weird to them (it’s the same kind of thing that his guy friends might rag on him for).
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Even for guys who do talk about their feelings, it can still sometimes be a challenge. A lot of guys will typically say, “How can she not understand that I care? Look at everything that I’m doing…”
.
And there lies the problem…
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Guys are much more inclined to look at the evidence in front of them and draw conclusions. It can feel “manufactured” or “fake” to say something when we feel it’s already obvious.
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Unfortunately, long distance relationships rely heavily on good communication to compensate from the other person not being present.
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It might be how he is though… If that’s how he’s always been, then you shouldn’t look at it as a warning. However, if he’s typically been affectionate and tells you his feelings, but then stopped… then that change is typically a warning sign.

I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years… we used to hang out a lot at the beginning as Im sure most of us do when on a new relationship… I would say the first year was amazing, we broke up for about two months got back together and we were pretty much back to our awesome relationship but lately we don’t hang out as much we talk everyday text almost all day (even on weekends) but we have been hanging out about every 3 weeks.. But this barely started bothering me about a week ago I’m just confused… what is all this?

My man and I have been together for 8 months now and alot has changed since we’ve been together. We’ve both gotten thru alot and been thru life changing events together. One thing though, he always says one thing then does another. He can look me in the eyes and make a promise, then step right outside and do what he just said he wouldn’t. I really just want to believe him. I want to know he’l be there for me if I ever need him. I’m always there for him when he’s having a breakdown,panic attack,when “friends” rip him off. Thru I really do alot for him. We’re. 23 and he’s always so interested in smoking or drinking or “trying new things”. I am Christian and he claims he wants to grow in christ too but the way he lives is anything but “Good”. When I get upset that he says he’s done with something…then he does it…or says he’ll constantly do something then doesn’t. (After 8 months) of the same thing. ***should I let him make me feel bad for being upset that he keeps putting things off and basically lying? He’s said since the start, “changing takes time.” I say its not changing, its: don’t look me in the eyes and promise me something if you know you don’t mean it. Am I wrong for always wanting to believe in him? I can’t take the way he makes me feel anymore….for HIS lies. car accidents and just needing mental clearity(special?).

I think he means that he needs to make caring for his children and raising them a priority. Let him figure that out and give him space for a bit, I’m sure he’s got a lot on his mind. In the meantime, keep yourself busy doing things that you love doing and enjoying life.

Unfortunately I think he just loves having sex with you. Men are somehow able to separate the two which we don’t seem to be able to do. Of course I am replying from a female perspective and not a guys so I am not saying that this is guaranteed. You do what feels right to you and what doesn’t hurt you further. If it doesn’t hurt you, why the heck not!!!

This article was fantastic and I want to say that I was in a relationship with someone who I loved very much and I know that he loved me a tonne too. When you said “In fact, I would even be so bold as to say that a man will almost inevitably leave a woman if he does not believe he can make her happy.” I can actually give my relationship with him as the perfect example of this. He was not calling and not being available and it was making me so upset that every time I did see him I would cry. This was our eventual demise. He was very open with me and we are still quite close but not in a romantic way. He did tell me that this was the reason that he felt we needed to break up. He just couldn’t make me happy and it hurt him to see me cry and feel like he just could never make it right. Lesson learned on my end. I find that I try to be open and honest about my feelings now but if it is something they can’t change then that is just it…they can’t change it so you live with it or you move on.

Wow I Think I Get It Now.! Its Another Issue That I Get Jealous Cuz My Boyfriend Goes To A Different School Than Me And A Lot Of His Friends Are Female And Idk What To Think A Lot Of The Time Because They Always Post On His Facebook Wall I Love You I Miss You And All That And He Replies Saying I Love You More Blah Blah And Thats What He Says To Me And Im Just Afraid You Know I Have No Idea What Goes On There.. Because I Only Get To See HIm On Weekends Cuz His Schools In A Whole Other Town. So He Only Comes Down To My Town On Weekends. Then This Weekend We’re Not Gonna Be Hanging Out With Our Friends And He Says It Boring With Just Him And Me (He Said No Offensee) So He Might Leave Early To Go Hang Out With His Friends. But I Dont KNow… Why Would He Want To Leave Early When We Wait All Week To See Eachother?

What you have said is so valuable, Eric. It’s the first time I’ve ever read such words from a guy. Your words denote men’s action greatly. Thank to you, now I understand my boyfriend better. I read him better now.
Love does not mean that you should expect him to pick up the phone all the time or text you constantly. Guys, lovable as we can be, usually like to use the phone to make a plan and that’s that. We don’t like chit-chat if it’s not towards a purpose – just not how we’re wired. I would say that if he says he’s going to text or call you, he should do that… But just because somebody should do something doesn’t mean they will, for whatever reason.

tell him how u feel like in a txt or somthing he might not txt back right away but he might be thinking about what u said give it a try it might work but dnt be afraid to tell him anything tell him how u feel…goodluck<3

okay…..so me and my boyfriend have been together for almost a year are realationship started out going good but then he started lieing about somthing really stupid and my mom took it to the nxt leval and told me i could nvr see him again but i couldnt not see him i love him way to much so we would sneak and see eachother then my mom found oyt so she takes everything away and tht just kept happening till i tryed moving in with him but im only 16 so i couldnt then my mom found out he got me pregnant she fliped and told me i could nvr see him again theni we snuck and saw eachother and now i guess my mom just had enough and said whatever u can see him but i hate him dnt ever let me see him so we got what he wanted and one night we were txting and he said dnt ever call me again so i called him lol but we talked for like a hour me being stupid i begged for him back he said things about me bother him like im a grade lowwer i failed a regents and things like tht before all this i had planned to go over sunday but all he told me he wants to do is hae sex and i dnt want to i kinnda get the feeling tht he is useing me but when were together he makes me feel so special we have so much fun and hes so romantic i love him so much and i guess i just see through all the stupid things he does and we hae gone through so much to be together… so please help me i need adice cause nun of my friends understand

so me and my boyfriend have been dating for a few months and we are so in love, hes the best thing thats ever happened to me and he perfect except that i just feel like he loves me more when hes with me. even tho he always says he loves me. he says the sweetest things when hes with me and acts like the perfect boyfriend but when hes not with me, im always the one who calls him first, texts him first, or trys to make plans… and i feel like if i dont call hhim… he wont call me and he makes me so happy all the time so i want to always be calling, hanging, making plans… but i feel like he doesnt feel the same way and it breaks my heart.

i have been with this guy for a while now and he says he loves me and i love him to but i show all my imotions to him to much wich am not supose to and now were arguying and he said i should not call or text him anymore which i have’nt but i cant keep on with it its day two already what should i do?

if this guy is like most guys… dont call or text. most guys dont like girls to be needy they need to know that your independent. espshally sence he told you NOT to text or call. i know its had to resist because you love him and miss him and want everything to be okay but he probably just needs some time to think and when he misses you, he will come back. and you want HIM to come back first. so meanwhile just keep yourself busy and dont answerer right away when he calls. i know its hard to understand because if we were in that place we would want them to call us first and tell us they miss us but for some reason they dont think like us. just be patiant. everything happens for a reason

so my bf and i have been together since Nov. with the understanding he would be going back to his wife and 4 children. (They have been separated for 5 years.) as soon as their no contact order was over. Since I have known him for a few years and i did not want set in stone relationship I was OK with the arrangement. He has been living with me ever since. 4 months into our relationship things were great live in friends with benefits he helped around the house, with my kids, etc. and then he tells me out of the blue that he loves me and that he wasn’t going back to his wife and that he wanted to stay and be with me. It caught me off guard of course. I asked him if he was sure that is what he wanted and it was OK if maybe he was not correctly or just was caught up in the moment and I asked him this on three separate occasions each time he insisted he meant what he said. So 3 months after that the no contact order was lifted. Great!! he can see his kids. I was absolutely supportive of him seeing his children. So every weekend he would go stay at their house. (the wife and kids lives with the wife’s mom and sister) this as continued until current. So my problem is I have caught him in multiple lies every weekend there is a new lie that comes up. for example: the wearing of his wedding ring (a constant lie) he doesn’t wear his ring when he is here however evidence has shown in pictures, hiding it in a cigarette pack since he left the key chain it is always on at the kids’ house, people seeing him put it in right before they drop him off etc. His response is I am crazy I am seeing things. Why is the first thing he does when he gets home from seeing his kids is take a shower? I guess I just don’t understand the reasoning behind him #1. telling me he wasn’t going back to his wife and kids. #2. Telling me he cant wait til she lets him take the kids on his own. #3. If he knew I was OK with him leaving to go back to her why continue to lie when he is caught. In closing, I wouldn’t be so upset or hurt had I kept my guard up and my heart protected. I believed him when he said he wanted to be with me and I allowed myself to fall in love with him. What do I do? Do I get it over with and tell him to go? or do I wait it out and see if he stays.

my boyfriend does the same exact thing and it annoys me so much! After a while i’ve come to 2 conclusions… 1. he literally means ok/sure he’s just preoccupied with something else or 2. he doesn’t really want to say ok/sure but he still does just to keep the peace. It’s REALLY hard to distinguish which one it is. Best way to do so is to see previous conversations and recognize if he’s actually busy doing something (video games or w/e).

I am with you there my ex and I fought all the time because that was all that was ever said when we talked. Because he was either busy or with friends. Mind you this was long distance and he hardly had time to have a meaning full conversation with me

well, me and my boyfried hav been goin on since january..but in june, he decided to break up with me then get back together a week later. my friends told me tht he asked them out then came to me saying “you love me for who i am and thts why i wanna be with you again..i never wanted to let u go” blah blah blah..i kno i should of said no knowing tht he asked out my friends but im still in love with him..he is always saying how im the girl for him and shit but i dont feel like hes telling me everything..he gets mad at me for no reason and is always accusing me of somethin tht i didnt do or lyin to him..and i told him before tht i would NEVER lie to him and i didnt lie..then after the little argument we had.he says sorry and calls himself stupid which makes me feel bad..ALSO…he played a trick on me and old me he was gonna break up wih me..which ot me really upset and mad at him..i need help please!!..idk what i shuld say to him..let alone do..ill be thankful for ANY advice..

BTW: im only 14..been goin out with him since i was 13..and he is 15 been goin out with me since he 14

my boyfriend and have three kids together he is cheating on me for years now and we still live together we argue alot and told me he doesn’t have any interest in me we dont sleep together either is been years should i leave ?

well my opinion is that you should leave. he obvisly dosnt have the same feelings for you than when he use to and hes cheeting on you!!! you need to find someone else to support you and love you but how can you do that when your still leaving with that him.

there is this guy. he is an ass hole but i just cant stop thinking about him. i know he has a girlfriend. i really like him whats worse is the sex is not that great but i dont evev care about that. what should i do i swear i try to stop seeing him but its like i cant. i have a boyfriend and i love him. what is up with that?

PLEASE DON’T READY THIS YOU WILL GET KISSED ON THE NEAREST FRIDAY BY THE OVE OF YOUR LIFE.TOMORROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF UR LIFE.HOWEVER IF YOU DON’T POST THIS COMMENT TO AT LEAST 3 QUIZZES YOU WILL DIE WITHIN 2 DAYS.NOW UV STARTED READIN DIS DON’T STOP THIS IS SO SCARY.SEND THIS OVER TO 5 QUIZZES IN 143 MINUTES.WHEN UR DONE PRESS F6 AND UR CRUSHES NAME WILL APPEAR ON THE SCREEN IN BIG LETTERS.THIS IS SO SCARY CAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKES!!!!

please tell me why my boyfriend purposed to me last weekend and then on memorial day read my boyfriends text messages calling someone his baby mama and trying to go out with her. why did he purpose to me if he still wants to cheat.

Mine says that too. It is a way of them really asking you who it is that called you and to
see if its another guy or if its a girl. Basicly they are a little jeolous and insecure. He want to be the only one. Believe me, i been there lol
\

I have a question. Hmm. My bf texes me after 4 months I love you. How can he love me when we only see eachother once a wk. or once every two weeks. I get very suspicious what he does during the whole week. but he has his own business at home. I have been there a ffew times but the visits are usually short. I just dont knowhow i can really know if he reallly means it. he does tex a couple times a day but rarely calls on the phone. oh yeh and now hes saying he wants a kid with me. What about marrige?

ok i text him i said hi he said hey babe and i said what are u doing and he said making out and i said what i hate u and then he text back and said i mean i wish i was with o u did he really mean what he said?

Wow, I have been with the same man for over five years now and we got engaged two years ago on valentines day. In the beginning he was really attentive and romantic. There was poetry, flowers and a lot of romance. I had friends back then and I also worked. He started telling me I wasn’t paying enough attention to him so I gave up my friends and work to devote all my time to him. Something happened after we got engaged. The romance stopped, he never calls me or sends those romantic texts. He swears he loves me more than life but I don’t feel it. I am always honest about my feelings so I told him it hurts that he makes no effort anymore. He says hes sorry and he will change but he never does. I feel needy now and I hate the way I feel. Is he trying to leave but afraid to tell me? Help Please.

Men who don’t do what they say they will are not worth any woman or man’s time. You don’t say you’re gonna eat her out then bail because you wanted to watch a movie. You don’t say you’re working on a gift for her but after 9 months when she inquires politely tell her you have no idea if you ever will finish it.

Just. No. If that’s how you are, leave. Sadly women dating women are the SAME thing. -____-

I have been with my bf for a year and I am his first girlfriend, he has dated girls but never boyfriend and girlfriend. When he is around his friends he talks to me so different like/d min just his friend. he calls everyday, but what bugs me the most is that I only see him once a week and he sees his friends everyday. And when I go over for my day with him he just wants to be with his friends. Like really, he baby just be with me. Then everytime we have a lil argument he breaks up with me. Also, he gets so jealous of my past. Always bringing it up and asking how many guys I have been with. Another thing when I make him mad he tells me the meanest things to hurt me on purpose, why? He says he loves me and I know he does but, why hurt me on purpose and why break up with me so much?

i hav the same problem..my bf treats me like a friend around other people and tells me tht i need to be more of a girlfriend..it pissed me off but i deal with it cuz i love him so much..he also goes thru my phone to see who ive been txtin and what i said and all tht bull…he gets really jealous when i hug another guy but he never hugs me infront of his friends..and we never hold hands anymore..it was only once..i cry almost every night over his ass..and im always telling myself tht no guy is worth my tears and if he makes me cry then he shuldnt be there..but im sill in love with him..OH and i just turned 14..love at a young age..

My boyfriend and I have been dating about 3 years. We fight alot and are always around each other. One week my bf wants to be together, another week he wants to break up (usually at the time we are fighting.) Recently I found out my bf was talking to another girl behind my back. They text each other everyday during his lunch and they sometimes call each other at night. Once they talk for an hour (until 1 am). In the beginning I was fine with him talking to another person because he lied to me and said she was a he. I started realizing he will take his phone whereever he goes ( which he never did before). When I ask him about it he told me of was a girl from work, and she lives in another city now. He said they are just friends. I want him to have friends but do they really need to talk everyday? I even want him to let me meet them. (He rarely hangs out with his friends). He said they talk about school, work, and BS. When I ask him about her he got mad at me and accuse me of cheating on facebook. I showed him my facebook and everything and he said nothing. When I asked about her again he said he mess up and said he was single, when I asked really he said no he’s just trying to get me mad. (He’s been say things and doing things to get me mad since we starting dating, especially when we fight). should I trust him or is he cheating on me?

Sounds like hes up to sneaky business to me……and guys that get mad if you question them that start screaming accusations at you even if you can prove it are the ones that are screwing around trust me on that one. THey will do it try to rationalize their reason for doing it.

My boyfriend and I been together for 5 months now. He is my first really boyfriend. Last week he said that I was not going to be the only man for me. He keep on saying that I was going to leave him in the future. That I will get bored of him. I love this man he 3 years younger than me. He a gentlemen to me he treats me better than the other guys I’ll have been with. He was my friend at first for 2 years in a half and than we went to friends with benefits for 8 months and now girlfriend and boyfriend. I see him as my future husband and father to my future kids. I’m spending all my time with him but we do work together at UPS. I will like a a adivice from you, please help me. Thanks

m seriously confused between two men from 2 different stated and 2 different background. 1 man he is a friend of mine he want to have a baby with me he is in Florida, the second man we met in new york he straightly told me he want me and smart funny and list goes on. The man in Florida want me to give up my job to move back to Florida to get pregnant yet he said he’ll just be a sperm donor he cannot take care of the unborn baby after birth for a view years because he is a handyman he doesn’t make a lot of money, the one here in new york is a truck delivery driver make good money but I will like to see him go back to school and take his nurse degree, i will like good advice from you, please help.

how old are you. neither one of these guys seem like good “daddy” material. The first one who wants to be a sperm donar obviously just wants to have a good time with you without any responsibility. A good sign he really cares is if he is paying for you to go to Florida. Plane Trip, bus ride, etc. If not how can he even take care of a child.The second one truck delivery driver make good money so he sounds like a better catch but I think you should continue to date other guys. Dont have low self esteem. You deserve the best. Dont short change your baby. She deserves a good daddy not an absent landlord type.

m seriously confused between two men from 2 different stated ad 2 different background. 1 man he is a friend of mine he want to have a baby with me he is in Florida, the second man we met in new york he straightly told me he want me and smart funny and list goes on. The man in Florida want me to give up my job to move back to Florida to get pregnant yet he said he’ll just be a sperm donor he cannot take care of the unborn baby after birth for a view years because he is a handyman he doesn’t make a lot, the one here in new york is a truck delivery driver make good money but I will like to see him go back to school and take his nurse degree, i will like good advice from you, please help.

im my boyfriends 1st girlfriend, he never did girls bt me and him got close, he told me he didnt wana c me with another lad cos he began to love me so we got together, he always wanted to txt me, see me, always was there for me. he kept syain he dosent wana go out in town cos its a waste of money and he didnt enjoy it, and he always wanted to see me. we used to argue abit and id make him go home, he would drink vodka to take his pain away and stillll chase me but i threw it back in his face. we finished for a week 3 times in the summer holiday at a time, since then its me askin to see him me askin to txt me me me he seems careless. he all a sudden wants to go town but even out of peterborough where we live he wants to go birmingham and notts. we arraned xmas eve and nye together cos it was a special time last yr then a day after arrangin it he ditched me to go notts so i said i dnt wana see him xmas eve. it seems when i chase him he dont care n when i stop caring n chasin he really chases me and shows he cares. shud i start doin my own thing stop asking start driftin slowly? or does he generally not care anymore?

Maddy, you already know the answer to that question. End the relationship because the problem here is not just him but that both of you are just not working together. And the fact that you’re questioning the relationship so much means that you’ve realized somewhere that this is something you cannot fix unless you give the relationship a nice long rest.

I have been dating my boss and before we started our romantic relation ship he was dating another woman who he bought a house. They started dating the day of his final orders for his divorce. He fell really hard for the other woman because it was his first love after his marriage. She turned out to be a crazy person and they broke up. I mean horrible woman! Then when we started dating and we were having trouble because the other woman was not out of his life. He told me that he loved me and I really loved him. We had been through so much together and we best friends. Then I find out that he is meeting the crazy woman in sectet and he tells me that he loves her! Needless to say I was very hurt although a part of me knew it was coming and so I told her about me. I told her that he had been cheating on me with her and she kicked him to the curb. Shortly after he came back to me and told me that he loved me and couldnt live without me so I took him back. I love him so much, but he keeps playing I don’t know what I want game. I know that going through a divorce messes you up. Should I make him stay away from me? He breaks my heart like every two weeks.

My husband left our home about 8 mos ago, and there has been some contact. I asked him if he really wanted a divorce and he constantly says no, and insists he is not seeing another woman. I refuse to follow him or check up on him. He told me tonight, “I am doin me”. What the hell does that mean? Please advise. Thanks.

I have a husband that says that same thing let me decode what he says Im doing me means it means he is doing and is going to do what makes him happy no matter what any one thinks (basically every one can f#$% off) he will do as he feels.

What does it mean when my boyfriend tells me that we will go bye engagment rings and get engaged but then when it comes to the day he doesnt even mention anything or sticks to his word? He even told all his familey that he is going to get engagment rings but he never does it.

i have been goin out with my boyfriend for almost 4 months now. we havent had sex but we have messed around alot! and idk. he works alot and i understand that i barley see him in school anymore and i dont live far but i dont live walking distance to him either. it seams like he wants to hang out with his friends more than me. he says hes goin to call realy late at nite like 12 because hes hangin with friends right now! i say ok ill wait and when he does call we talk for like 10 min and then hes to tired he wants to get off and go to bed. ?! idk what to do any more i love him so much and i dont kno what i would do without him but idk. i dont want to tell him this because i dont want him to get mad at me and if i do get mad he makes it all about me like im doin something wrong. grrr help me please!

I’m in a relationship with my first boyfriend ever and he told me that he loved me when it was totally unexpected and I was like “whoa! hold on there. Isn’t love like…intense?” but then we’ve been going out for a while now and sometimes I doubted that he meant it or rather that he understood what he was saying when he said it. Then for a while he didn’t call me or text or anything and I started thinking of the worst way to breakup with him (think twitter) but then he sent me this really sweet text apologizing and telling me that just because he doesn’t call or text doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love me or miss me. At first I thought “that’s just crap” but then I thought about it and realised that there were some days that I didnt want to call or text him either. And it was okay. It didn’t mean that I loved him any less.

I was told by this very sweet,very smart,very attractive looking guy, That he was moving back to originally where he came from. After me seeing him for about four years. We never had sex, But he was clearly attracted to me. We never went to bed or dated. Because we where working very close together and could not at the time. Also at the time I was in a rocky realtionship that I was trying to get out of .This sweet guy that, I was working with, was also in a relationship . I had told this sweet guy,” Just sex” was not what I wanted, I wanted more..he was very flirty with me many times, I felt like he was tryin to seduce me.One time I told him he was like my boyfriend and onece I told him I was too old for him and he said “what are you saying that for?” he would ask me trick questions, about dating him and such.it would confuse me.
Anyhow we stopped working together and I asked if we can keep intouch, like two years into the relationship he said yes. then about a week before leaving his job, he said ” no” that he would not keep touch with me. I was fine with that. Two days later I was reading the news paper at home I read my horoscope. and it read…. “If you like someone you should tell them, Bcause, I think they may know? but in actuallity they may not know?”. So I picked up my cell phone and called him at his office and I told him that I was very found of him and if he wanted too he can call me to see how I am.? then it was so quite and sensed he was happy for the moment. I kept the call short and casual, all of a sudden, I felt this wired sensation in my HEART! it felt like his love? we talked very little after that, then I hung up.I felt his love? could this happen? am I insane? can someone please let me know what you think? Thank you.

IWAS TOLD BY THIS VERY SWEET, VERY SMART, VERY ATTRACTIVE, LOOKING GUY THAT, HE WAS MOVING BACK TO WHERE HE WAS ORIGINALLY FROM,ATER ME SEEING HIM FOR ABOUT FOUR YEARS WE NEVER HAD SEX,BUT HE WAS CLEARLY ATTRACTED TO ME.
WE NEVER WENT TO BED or dated,BECAUSE WE WHERE WORKING VERY CLOSE TO EACH OTHER ,AND ALSO AT THE TIME, I WAS already IN A rocky REALTIONSHIP WITH A GUY I WAS TRYING TO leave. THe sweet guy I was WORKing WITH WAS IN A RELATIONSHIP ALSO . I TOLD tis sweet guy ,THAT SEX WITH HIM, WAS NOT WHAT I WANTED, THAT I WANTED MORE, he was very flirty with intention toward me.ANY HOW WHEN WE STOPPED WORKING TOGETHER. HE THEN TOLD ME THAT he didn’t want TO SEE ME IF HE EVER BROKE UP WITH HIs GIRL FRIEND I WAS FINE WITH THAT BUT DAYS LATER, I READ MY HOROSCOPE in the news paper AND IT SAID THAT IF I REALLY CARED FOR SOMEONE THAT i SHOULD TELL THAT PERSON today so the only one I could think of was this sweet guy. soI told him, when I DID. I phoned him at his office and when I told him that I was very fond of him and hoped to hear from me again. I felt this strange sinsation in my heart, LIke he loved me I felt hid love for me! and now I can’t stop thinking about him he went back to where he was originaly from and I miss him. I had other offers from guys but my gut is telling me to wait for the sweet guy I use to work with,am I insane.?please help!

My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 years. It’s been an up and down relationship but we now have a child together so I feel like we HAVE to be together. I feel like I’m the only one trying in the relationship. He has been the one that has screwed up big time, not saying I’m perfect by far but for the most part he’s the blame of the bad in our relationship (he even admits that). And finally I’m basiclly fed up with everything, I feel like there is just no point. He’s cheated in the beginiing and just now 7 years later admits to it. He’s a compulsive liar for some reason. And everytime I catch him in a lie he says “SORRY” and then acts like everything is fine! PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!

jessica, in all my dating years, because i am a bit jealous, i hooked up with many less good looking guys considering the same thing, and i could clearly see that they cheat as much as the other guys and girls, but the bad part is that it takes hard on you and your self confidence because you will start believing that if even he cheated on you it means no better guy will appreciate you, and that is wrong. what i am trying to say is that looks do not make a person different, try to find someone who makes you feel appreciated, who gives you his attention and care and someone you feel you trust no matter how they look.
Good luck

I don’t understand but my boyfriend is always telling me that he is going to see me at a certant time but he doesnt he always comes late or he forget and he doesnt really call me that much but sometimes i feel that he will never cheat on me because he is not that great looking i need advice what should i do?

if you love him u need to trust him!! my boyfriend hasnt spoke to me all day and normally he speaks to mee 24/7 but i know thier will be a reasonable explanation and i trusted him with my life so i know that he wont hurt me u just gonna put ur trust in them boys can be funny but if he tells u how much u meen to him its worth it ii klove every minute i hav wee my laad x

i lived next door to this guy and he asked me to hang out with him so i did and then he made out with me and said sorry after what does that mean and then another day before that he said he wanted to be with me all night and he got evicted but i saw him again and he came up to m right away and said hey and asked me if i still lived there and then said he hopes he sees me around but hes had a girlfriend ever since hes been doin this to me what should i do and what is he trying to say

What does it take to be reliable to a girl? Very little effort. If we women can arrange to meet for a coffee, whatever, a fortnight or even six months from now, and remember to turn up, give or take a natural disaster or being a little bit late, then a guy can be just as reliable. But we’re caught in a no-win situation: a guy could consistently let a girl down (blame the drink from the night before, hangover, forgot!) knowing this especially makes her unhappy, yet he wants to leave her cos he doesn’t want to make her unhappy!! Think about it guys, reliability takes no effort, just stick to your word and turn up or whatever. Even saying you’ll text her later and you don’t?! Sometimes it takes so little to make a woman happy, the most miniscule effort counts

This is some of the most insightful and helpful guy advice I’ve ever read, in fact, I can totally relate to it at right now and I will try some of these suggestions the next time I talk to my boyfriend.