Spencer’s advice is pretty good: men are poonhounds, except for the ones that aren’t. And that taking it slow, intercourse-wise, is a good idea, except when you want to go ahead and do it. We suppose, there’s wisdom in his Aristotelian self-debate. Not all guys are poonhounds and you should really only have sex when you feel like it. Fair enough, but how do you know if this current guy is a jerk? And conversely, how does he know that you will want to have sex with him one day? Uh, how about you have a nice honest chat, here are the two possible outcomes.

VERSION 1

YOU: Listen, Rick, I really like youRICK: I like you too.YOU: That’s great. These past few weeks have been great, but there’s something I have to tell you.RICK: Are you okay?YOU: I’m fine, I’ve just been burned by the last few guys that I’ve dated and want to take things slow with you.RICK: Is that all? I thought you were going to say that you had a husband that was about to get out of jail. You let me know when you’re ready and we’ll take it slow.YOU: Thank you so much, Rick. I thought you’d be so mad at me.RICK: What am I some kind of reality TV dingus?

END SCENE

VERSION 2

YOU: Listen, Rick, I really like youRICK: I’m pretty awesome.YOU: I’ve got something to tell you.RICK: Make it quick, halftime’s almost over.YOU: OK. I’ve really been burned in the last few relationships that I’ve had and I want to take things slow.RICK: Whatever. We can still sleep with other people.YOU: Know, I mean I want to wait to get intimate.RICK: Uh, this is the third date, so unless you want to rewrite the dating rules, we’re doing it or we’re done.YOU: I see.