I still see it as a sense of hiding something. If you have that problem, use the word masturbation with the Priest.

I do more see the m-word, or well, the word we have in swedish that's not even at all so nonchalant as the m-word, as portraying it as more "okay" than self-abuse.

Please, do think about what the words mean.

I just want to point out that the m-word doesn't give the act it's proper graveness. It sounds more like "well, and then I did use schampoo" or something like that. I just think "self-abuse" is much more correct, and by giving the act, through telling it to the Priest, its proper graveness, it'll be easier to not do it again. I think this is somewhat a debate like the words "gay" vs. "homosexual".

I went for my monthly confession today at a different Church because they hold a Rosary every day at noon I wanted to participate in. This Church is a minor basilica. The Priest I held my confession with was Indian, and I honestly didn't understand a word he said.

Some do. I think sometimes the old practice was that the penitent would say the act of contrition while the priest gave absolution. The act of contrition is not part of the form of the sacrament, so you're OK.

Some do. I think sometimes the old practice was that the penitent would say the act of contrition while the priest gave absolution. The act of contrition is not part of the form of the sacrament, so you're OK.

I know the Holy Father suggests we use the sacrament of penance a few times a year, but is there a limit?

I used to go perhaps once a month, but I've found myself liking to go once every two weeks. I don't have scrupulosity, but it just feels like a cleansing, even if its VERY minor sins.

I wouldn't go more than every week or two unless you were combating a serious mortal sin (or sins) and needed to go more frequently because of that.

_________________Whence are we to find words enough fully to tell the happiness of that marriage which the Church cements, and the Eucharistic oblation confirms, and the benediction signs and seals; which angels carry back the news of to heaven, which the Father holds as ratified? -Tertullian

No, I don't think going every two weeks is too much and I don't think you're doing anything wrong. Going every 2 weeks could be less than helpful for someone who suffers from scrupulosity (I know you don't, but just wanted to note that for anyone reading this).

Quote:

well, confession absolves us from our sins. I think we all fall (even just veinally) from time to time.

Thats very true, but in general I think that more than once a week isn't really necessary for most people and going every day or close to every day could be sign of scrupulosity or lead to it.

_________________Whence are we to find words enough fully to tell the happiness of that marriage which the Church cements, and the Eucharistic oblation confirms, and the benediction signs and seals; which angels carry back the news of to heaven, which the Father holds as ratified? -Tertullian

No, I don't think going every two weeks is too much and I don't think you're doing anything wrong. Going every 2 weeks could be less than helpful for someone who suffers from scrupulosity (I know you don't, but just wanted to note that for anyone reading this).

Quote:

well, confession absolves us from our sins. I think we all fall (even just veinally) from time to time.

Thats very true, but in general I think that more than once a week isn't really necessary for most people and going every day or close to every day could be sign of scrupulosity or lead to it.

I think its very important to find a priest who you can deal with. Behind the curtain confessions seem too general, like you can't go back for help. This way, the priest gets to know you, you're strengths and you're weaknesses, and you can work on it together. We really are never alone in our struggles.

I think sometimes the old practice was that the penitent would say the act of contrition while the priest gave absolution.

I have experienced this with absolution in Latin and in English. It was quite moving for me.

_________________We are moving toward a dictatorship of relativism which does not recognize anything as definitive and has as its highest value one's own ego and one's own desires. - Pope Benedict XVI.

Appeals to personal subjectivity on a matter of objective right is as much a category mistake as claiming that the number 3 is taller than the color blue. - Dr. Francis Beckwith

I'm glad you mentioned this. I seem to cry at every confession. I'm not bawling or anything, just confessing my sins through tears and a cry-like voice. It is a new thing for me.. not confession, but crying. I was wondering what was going on with me.

Does anyone have opinions on tough confessors versus more lenient ones?

I've gone to helpful priests of both varieties, though they've been helpful in different ways.

In general the penance should be proportioned to the offense. What I mean is that if I confess a few venial sins this week and get 3 Hail Mary´s, and then confess mortal sins and get the same penance that is not good. Of course the penance cannot be strictly adequate, Christ´s grace is what absolves, but it is important to have the penance fit the penitent. Therefore, also, certain penances are appropriate for different since. Fasting for gluttony or lechery, a work of charity for anger. A prayer to the BVM for chasity, etc.

Now if by lenient you mean one that never assigns a substantial penance, then my opinion speaks for itself already. Of course, especially nowadays, it must be considered whether a harsh penance might push someone away. So why a mortal sin should normally be assigned a grave penance, such as a whole Rosary, yet often, especially now, that might make things burdensome and prevent people from Confessing, in which case a priest should be more lenient. Same with those suffering from scruples.

Thanks. I think I went to one priest who was too lenient. He was very nice and said one thing in particular that was helpful, but I think he was too quick to brush off my sins as normal and inconsequential, and he didn't really give me a penance. I don't think I tend toward scrupulosity at all, and a couple of priests have told me I make good Confessions, so it really threw me off for a couple of weeks. I like it when a confessor takes my sins seriously and gives a thoughtful penance. I think I'm going to avoid going to him again. My normal priest is good, and there's another great Church I can go to that offers Confession all day, every day.