Thursday, February 22, 2007

Last week Kaylie had to go to the dentist to have a very small cavity filled. This is the first one and, hopefully, the last one she will have. I was unsure of what to tell her about what they were going to do. It struggled with letting her know they may give her a shot in her mouth or not telling her to keep her from getting real anxious about it. If I tell her she will get upset and nervous. If I don't tell her she will be mad when she finds out. It was a catch 22. In the end I decided not to tell her.

I did explain that they would put a mask on her nose with "laughing gas" and that it would help her relax while they fixed her tooth. Honestly, I wasn't really sure if they would give her a shot or not because the cavity was soooo small, so why scare her for no reason, ya know.

Anyway, we get there and she is all smiles. This child loves going to the dentist! We go back and they put the mask on her and she was doing really good. The dentist comes in and I saw that they were going to be giving her a shot. They did not tell her they were going to, he just started.

Ya'll, my baby girl did not even flinch. She didn't cry. She didn't try to push him away. She took it better than some grown men would. Hell, she took it better than I would've. I can't begin to tell you how proud I was and am of her. I was more nervous than she ever even thought about being.

In the end, the cavity got filled, and she thought that her numb mouth was just too cool!

On another note, my sweet little baby girl, Alyssa, has been hurtin her mommy's feelings lately. I pick her up from her babysitter everyday (I drop her off also). And for the last week every time I pick her up, she smiles when she sees me and then when I pick her up or take her from the babysitter, she starts crying and hits me in my face!!!!! And she wants to go back to the babysitter. I'm very glad that she loves the people that watch her so much, and I know it's just a phase she's going through, but after a couple of times, I can't help but let it get to me.

It makes me question if there is something I'm doing wrong as a mother. Kaylie never did that and it really really hurts my feelings. I sometimes feel like she would rather be with anyone else but me.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

I just happened to read this and thought I would invite everyone else to take a look then come on back over here and let me tell you a little story.

Go on, I'll wait!

About 4 years ago, I had my very first abnormal pap. I was a little freaked out by it, but I knew people that had them come back this way and it was nothing so I wasn't too bothered. At the time, I had no health insurance so I wasn't really sure just what my options would be anyway. I went to my regular doctor for the pap instead of an OB-GYN for that reason. I knew that he would let me pay when I could.

Anyway, he wanted me to go to an OB-GYN that he knew and have a colposcopy done, which is just looking at your cervix with a very high-powered microscope to check out the abnormal areas. Just so you know, the pap was just a little abnormal, but my doc likes to err on the side of caution. The procedure was going to cost too much so I decided to just go back for another pap in 6 months.

Six months later, it came back as normal. Yay! No worries, we can go back to annual visits. Fast forward to just a little over a year later in early 2005. I still do not have health insurance at this point, but I went back to my regular doc for my annual exam. Abnormal again. A little more abnormal than last time. Still without the health insurance I waited 3 months or so and had another pap. The first one came back with mild dysplasia (I don't feel like htmling, so look it up). 3 months later, I've got sever dysplasia. One small step away from cervical cancer. I'm 25 years old at this point. Fuck the fact that I don't have health insurance, my parents helped me and I went and had the colposcopy done. At the same time, they did a biopsy of several parts of my cervix and let me just tell you, it was a painful procedure.

Several days later the doctor calls and tells me they need to do laser surgery and remove the abnormal parts of my cervix. I'm totally scared at this point, but we schedule the surgery. In April 2005 I go in for the surgery. When I wake up, they tell me that instead of using a laser, they had to do what called a cold-knife cone (once again, look it up) and had to remove a larger part of my cervix than expected but they believe they got it all.

Of course the next month I got pregnant and never dialated at all during about 15 hours of hard labor and I have of course had pap smears every 4 months or so since and only had one come back as abnormal.

I guess what I'm getting at is if I had had the opportunity for a vaccine that could have prevented everything I had to go through and will go through for the rest of my life, I would have done it in a heartbeat. Anyone that has the opportunity to get this vaccine, please do it. I have never been so scared in my life. All I could think was cancer at 25. What will happen to my daughter? Luckily, I'm ok, but the next person may not be.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

I know that I said I wasn't sure if I am going to continue blogging or not, and I'm still not, but I just have to share just what a sweet sweet man I married.

As I said, Chris and I are back together and he has been moving things into OUR apartment since Monday. Last night he was at our old house, cleaning some things and packing more stuff, blah blah blah. He got home and saw the girls for a few minutes before bedtime and then he said he had some more stuff in that he had to get out of his truck.

Next thing I know, he's got this huge heart with legs (seriously huge) and some candy and stickers and such sitting on the dining room table. He had stopped and picked up Valentine's gifts for Kaylie and Alyssa. How sweet is that? I was not expecting him to do this.

And, then, this morning, I got up (after he had left for work) to find some roses, candy, etc and the sweetest card in the world. I'm very lucky to have Chris and I'm so happy to have him back in my life!

Monday, February 12, 2007

Ok, I'm not sure just yet, but I may not be blogging anymore. I love to blog, it's a nice outlet for my feelings and to get advice from people who are unbiased and see things from the outside looking in. But, on the other hand, I love my husband much, much, much more than blogging and I'm very happy to say, that Chris and I have decided that we are going to work things out and we are offically back together.

To say that I am happy about this is like saying the Grand Canyon is just a little hole in the desert!

Anyway, I think Chris will be ok with my blog as long as he realizes that I am not putting any personal or intimate things on here and I've talked to him about that. I'm going to let Chris make the decison on whether or not he is comfortable with me blogging. Either way, I will continue to read the blogs on my blogroll and others that I come across.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

1. Are your parents married or divorced? Married, for 32 years this year!! I want that to be me someday.2. Are you a vegetarian? No3. Do you believe in Heaven? Definitely4. Have you ever come close to dying? I don't think so.5. What jewelry do you wear 24/7? Well, I used to wear my wedding ring 24/7, but currently I am not, although, I hope to put it back on one day. Wish me luck with that.6. Favorite time of day? I think it just depends on the day. I do like how excited Alyssa is to see me when she wakes up in the mornings. 7. Do you eat the stems of broccoli? Yes8. Do you wear makeup? Sometimes. I don't normally wear it to work, although, I think I should.9. Ever have plastic surgery? I never have, but I would like to.11. What do you wear to bed? Since it has been so cold here and my husband lives in another house, I've been wearing pjs, but usually I am sans clothing. I'm just more comfortable that way. The clothes don't get all tangled up. By the way, what happened to question # 10?12. Have you ever done anything illegal? Uh, yeah, maybe.13. Can you roll your tongue? Yes I can.14. Do you tweeze your eyebrows? Not usually, I use one of those little battery powered clipper things that are meant for your eyebrows. I think I'm gonna start plucking though. It lasts longer.15. What kind of sneakers? What kind of sneakers what? Do I own? Not sure, but I think they are New Balance.16. Do you believe in abortions? I've heard they are real.17. What is your hair color? Brown18. Future child’s name? Right now I don't know that there will be a future child.19. Do you snore? Chris says I do, I don't believe him.20. If you could go anywhere in the world where would it be? I would go somewhere warm and tropical, like Fiji or Hawaii.21. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? If my cat keeps waking me up, then he will get stuffed!22. If you won the lottery, what would you do first?First? I have no idea, considering where I work, after I told my friends and family, I would probably sit down with my boss for some advice. (I work for a financial advisor)24. Hamburger or hot dog? Both25. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be? That's a tough question, one that I cannot answer.26. City, beach or country? City…but the beach on the weekends.27. What was the last thing you touched? My mouse.28. Where did you eat last? At home, last night.29. When’s the last time you cried? I hate this question, but, I cry more than usual these days.30. Do you read blogs? Of course, I'm nosy.31. Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex? I suppose.32. Ever been involved with the police? Maybe once.33. What’s your favorite shampoo conditioner and soap? I don't have a fave shampoo and conditioner, but my fave soap is Caress.34. Do you talk in your sleep? No one has ever told me that I do.35. Ocean or pool? Both, but I haven't been to the ocean in so long, I would love to go there.36. So, who has the original missing questions? I don't know. Hoffa?37. Who would you take on a ménage à trois for a dirty weekend? With my husband? Hmmm, definitely Chris, and, hmmm, no one else, cuz I don't share!38. Window seat or aisle? I'm not sure, cuz I've never flown before.39. Ever met anyone famous? I can't remember.40. Do you feel that you’ve had a truly successful life? Sometimes, but not right now. There are many more things I want to accomplish!41. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? It just depends, but, usually I cut it.42. Ricki Lake or Oprah Winfrey? Neither. 43. Basketball or Football? Both, but mostly football.44. How long do your showers last? Depends, but usually about 10 minutes.45. Automatic or do you drive a stick? I drive a minivan, what do you think?46. Cake or ice cream? Both47. Are you self-conscious? Who isn't?48. Have you ever drank so much you threw up? Yes, back when I was young and stupid.49. Have you ever given money to a beggar? Probably so.50. Have you been in love? Oh, most definitely!51. Where do you wish you were? At home, lounging.52. Are you wearing socks? Not at the moment.53. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? Yes54. Can you tango? Not that I know of, I've never tried. But, I can dance.55. Last gift you received? Christmas gifts.56. Last sport you played? Softball57. Things you spend a lot of money on? Uh, bills!58. Where do you live? In a 2 bedroom apartment.59. Where were you born? Memphis60. Last wedding attended? My own.61. Spit or swallow? There are some things that I will not share!62. Favorite position? See questions #61.63. Most hated food(s)? I'm not sure, I like lots of things, but I hate peanut butter and butterscotch.65. Can you sing? In the car.66. Last person you instant messaged? No one, I don't IM.67. Last place you went on holiday? Not really a vacation, but back in August, Chris and I went to Nashvegas.68. Favorite regular drink? Water69. Current Song? I have no idea.70. Tag 3 friends: EVERYONE!

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

My little girl is growing up. My 1st born. On Monday when I picked her up from school she informed me that she had to call someone when we got home. I was thinking she wanted to call her father. Turns out, that's not the case. She had gotten a friend from school's phone number and was going to call HIM!!!!! That's right, HIM! I knew that at some point she was going to start wanting to use the phone but I figured she would be calling up some little girls, not boys!

She ended up losing the phone number somehow and then left it at school last night so she hasn't been able to make this phone call. I'm not sure if I should let her or not. I know that it is completely innocent, but it really freaks me out. Scares me. I want more time with her before she starts discovering boys. She is only 6!!!!. Also, she does talk about this particular boy alot and I've seen him in the class picture and he is cute, but I just don't know.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

I have a special request for anyone that happens to come across this blog today or tomorrow or whenever. Please go here and make a donation to help St. Jude. Make a donation in honor of someone you know that has survived cancer. Make a donation for someone you know that has not survived cancer or someone who's children or family have been affected by it. Or make one in honor of the healthy children or grandchildren you have.

This radio station in Memphis does this Radiothon once a year to raise money and I thought that maybe I could help them out just a little by providing this link and asking for your help. If you want to learn more about St. Jude and what they do go here and read all about them. Keep in mind that is cost $1,000,000 a DAY just to keep the doors open and no child is ever told they cannot receive treatment because their family cannot pay.

You never know if it could be you or someone you know that has to walk through those doors next. Wouldn't you like to be sure that they are still open?

Also, you don't have to ask me to add me to your blogroll. If you wanna add me, I'm all for it. :)

About Me

I don't even know where to begin. I am a mom, sister, daughter and friend. I am quiet and reserved one second and loud and boisterous the next. I say what I mean and mean what I say and I am NOT afraid to hand your ass to you if you push me, but I am also a genuinely nice and caring person.