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10/17/2011

The Reentry: October 17

It’s Monday morning, and once again you’ve spent an entire weekend worrying about Rick Ross, the gentleman hacker who liberated Scarlett Johansson’s nude photos and the apocalypse. Luckily, we’ve got a few updates for you.

BIG MEECH FALLS: Everyone’s favorite ursine rapper, Rick Ross, had two seizures on two different planes on Friday. Don’t worry; he’s fine. He reassured fans (okay, us) later that day on Twitter: “Never dat homie.” Until he recovers, we assume he’ll only be hustling on some days.

THIS WEEK’S FOLK HERO: The brave soul who retrieved Scarlett Johannson’s nude photos was nabbed last week on 26 counts of identity theft, unauthorized access to a computer and wiretapping last week, as part of the FBI’s inexplicably named “Operation Hackerazzi.” He’s facing 121 years in the hoosegow, which seems ungrateful to say the least.

THE FORGOTTEN ARM: Anyone watching the Bernard Hopkins fight this Saturday might have noticed an unusual undercard featuring Dewey Bozella, a 52-year-old man in his first and (he promises) last professional fight. He left prison two years ago, after 26 years inside, and he made it into the ring thanks to a sustained publicity campaign from the likes of ESPN. Oh, and he won.