The True Boob — an investigation into the chest of Katy Perry

Let’s talk about Katy Perry’s boobs. For an entertainer selling sex, versatile boobs are a powerful tool. And I don’t mean huge boobs…versatile boobs. That’s because within a certain size, a whole world of boob possibilities opens up to you. When you’re in the Goldilocks Zone of bustlines, you unlock access to a wide range of boob styles, and you’re easily able to accomplish very different looks on a whim.

You can dress them up and be a sexpot…

…or go down and demure. You’ll never have the Dolly Parton problem of having a comically large chest no matter what the context. And there’s the advantage of being able to dance around on stage without tipping over.

But if you want them…so there they are. Katy Perry’s boobs are the perfect size for her to convincingly portray them in a variety of ways. And she’s gotten a lot of mileage out of that. But what do they really look like?

Here they are. The plaster might be supporting them a bit, but they usually start putting that stuff on naked skin. She’s also raising her arms above her head, which raises her boobs a little. But in terms of accurate information, I think this is as good as it’s ever going to get. This is a surprisingly honest look at Katy Perry’s boobs right as she was in her prime.

She says they’re 32D in this video, but her torso doesn’t look that slim to me. I’d guess 34-36D.

So that’s that, right? But that’s not that. This investigation isn’t going to be about what Katy’s boobs actually look like…this investigation is going to be about how she uses them. This is a look at all of the different boob effects that Katy has accomplished over the years, and a look into how she was able to pull them off. We’re going to drill down hard into each boob category, really pour over the available boob data, because by looking at how one transforms their boobs, we come to understand the nature of True Boob itself. Katy Perry’s chest has had a long, lustrous career. This is going to be a wild ride.