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2010/02/21

In Love and Heartbreak, Age Matters

For someone who writes about relationships

, it is pretty risky to make the statement that age matters;however, I believe in speaking the truth.I also believe in voicing the concerns of the those that visit this site.From this vantage point and with respect to love and heartbreak, age definitely matters.Here is the reason why: we each have a grand planfor our life based on age. It goes something like this:• In my teens, I’ll get into a good college or get a good job.• In my early twenties, my career will start to take off.• By my mid-twenties, I will meet the person of my dreams.• In my thirties, I will be married and have 2.2 beautiful children.• In my forties, I’ll be running the company for which I’ve been working.• In my fifties, I’ll reflect back on my life and my grown children and smile.• In my sixties, I’ll retire and travel the world.Sound familiar? Give or take a few years and interchangea couple of details and these types of age confined dreamsare quite universal. So what happens when things don’t go as expected?What happens when instead of two kids in our thirties,we end up with our heart in two pieces? We feel broken.Not only is our heart shattered, so too is our self-perception.It is critical to understand that the pain one feels after a break upis only partially due to the separation from our mate.What causes equal, if not greater, agony is dealing with ourcrushed dreams. Our dream to be a certain age and haveaccomplished certain things has been stolen. To overcome the challenge of heartbreak based on agerelated fears, we must face them head on.