I’d like to see Larry Craig come honestly, definitively clean about his sexual orientation, but really it’s none of my business. Three people need to worry about what Larry Craig is doing with his cock: Larry Craig, Mrs. Craig, and whomever’s immediately present when he’s got it out and ready for business. The rest of us just need to butt out.

Chad, a dear, departed friend of mine once said, “My cock is my fate.” It’s a powerful statement (especially when you consider that he died of AIDS). Apply this to anyone whose sexuality is in question: Tom Cruise, Larry Craig, some friend, or even yourself.

Who should care about what Larry Craig or anyone else does with their sexual organs?

If __________ is a conscious, mentally capable, willing adult, and those with whom __________ has sex with are conscious, mentally capable, willing adults, they are responsible for their actions, and it’s none of our business.
It’s __________’s responsibility to make sure that loved ones like spouses and lovers have all the facts that pertain to them about what ____________ is doing with his/her sexual organs. If they don’t have the facts, it’s on ___________ to provide them, and anyone else’s. We should assume that these spouses and lovers have the facts and are acting accordingly. Beards of both sexes are not a new invention, aren’t going anywhere anytime soon.
There’s an Oedipal/Electral taboo that serves us well. Parents and (adult) offspring don’t usually want to know what the other does to get off, but if they do seek out this information, they’ll make decisions based upon it. They’ll accept or reject the other one – to whatever degree, conditional or unconditional – and shouldn’t be surprised when the same acceptance is mirrored back, because both parties get to make the choice and must accept the consequences.
Friends of _____________ who are truly friends probably don’t think much about ___________, sexually, and will remain friends. Those who are not really friends, are likely to whisper about _____________, and who cares? They’re not really friends. Good riddance.
Work, schmork. In most cases, ____________ and not their sexual organs were interviewed, and there’s only one name on the paycheck. There’s no issue unless _____________ are involving their sexual organ with or without the participation of willing or unwilling colleagues.
So that leaves the public, who may not know _____________, or ever make either acquaintance. _____________ may bring up un-sorted feelings members of the public have about themselves and their own sexual organs. If so, go back up to 1 and put your own name in the blank, if you haven’t already.
God and the devout shouldn’t care. If you believe in a God of some form, it’s pretty simple, and not unlike the relationship descibed above in #3. _____________’s God has laid out the rules and ___________ has accepted them. Gods have better things to do than worry about how we’re getting off. They’ll get back to you when you cash out. If you cheat at cards, you might get a cap in your ass. It’s the same way with Gods. It’s not up to the other players to keep you alive. It’s a nice gesture and all, but none of their business. Holy books are real clear on who will be handling your ‘cash out’, and again, it’s not the other players. If you insist on thinking that what someone else does with their sexual organs is going to put them in the express lane to hell or something, then 1) you haven’t been reading carefully and b) that’s their prerogative. Go hang out exclusively with people who have a similar relationship to their sexual organs as you do, and stop playing God. He’s bored with it, and we all have better things to do.
So if you’ve made it this far, ____________ isn’t hurting anyone, breaking any laws, forcing him or herself on the unwilling, incapable, or underaged, and is fully responsible for their own actions. This applies to what Larry Craig does with his sexual organs, and to what YOU do with your sexual organs. So, why should we care about what ANYONE does with their sexual organs?

So, why do you care, and why is the space just outside the closet still the scariest place on earth? Who we love is up to us. What we do naked is up to us. Own it. Know it. Be kind. Show love.