1.First off, we are doing a TERRIBLE job when it comes to dietary restrictions.

Leviticus 11:4 "Nevertheless these shall ye not eat of them that chew the cud, or of them that divide the hoof: as the camel, because he cheweth the cud, but divideth not the hoof; he is unclean unto you."

2.Time to cut out the shellfish.

Leviticus 11:10 "And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you."

4.Or eating... weird-ass animals.

Leviticus 11:28–29 "These also shall be unclean unto you among the creeping things that creep upon the earth; the weasel, and the mouse, and the tortoise after his kind, and the ferret, and the chameleon, and the lizard, and the snail, and the mole."

Translation: We're probably all fine, 'cause nobody wants to eat these things anyway. Except the French. The French with their snails.

7.Oh, and there's like, 100 birds we shouldn't chow down on, either.

Leviticus 11:13–20 "These are they which ye shall have in abomination among the fowls; they shall not be eaten, they are an abomination: the eagle, and the ossifrage, and the osprey, and the vulture, and the kite after his kind; every raven after his kind; and the owl, and the night hawk, and the cuckow, and the hawk after his kind, and the little owl, and the cormorant, and the great owl, and the swan, and the pelican, and the gier eagle, and the stork, the heron after her kind, and the lapwing, and the bat. All fowls that creep, going upon all four, shall be an abomination unto you."

16.There's a bunch of things we're not supposed to touch.

Leviticus 5:2 "If a soul touch any unclean thing, whether it be a carcase of an unclean beast, or a carcase of unclean cattle, or the carcase of unclean creeping things, and if it be hidden from him; he also shall be unclean, and guilty."

Translation: Your bet is as good as mine as to what warrants an "unclean beast." But I'm guessing your puppy isn't exactly a clean freak.

17.Some really confuse me. You mean, less church is better?

Leviticus 12:4–5 "And she shall then continue in the blood of her purifying three and thirty days; she shall touch no hallowed thing, nor come into the sanctuary, until the days of her purifying be fulfilled. But if she bear a maid child, then she shall be unclean two weeks, as in her separation: and she shall continue in the blood of her purifying threescore and six days."

Translation: Hey, new moms: STAY OUT OF CHURCH. Thirty-three days for bubbly baby boys; 66 days for glowing baby girls.