You borrowed money that you never paid back.

You didn’t show up. You didn’t thank me. You didn’t keep your promise. You didn’t return the favor. You didn’t include me. You didn’t apologize.

You hurt me.

You rejected me. You talked about me behind my back. You forgot me. You judged me. You didn’t ask about me. You didn’t encourage me. You believed the worst about me. You didn’t love me.

I can’t stop thinking about it.

I’m furious. I’m depressed. I’m exhausted. I’m sick.

Every time the phone rings, an email comes in, or there’s a knock at the door, I think maybe you’re going to give me what you owe me. But you don’t.

23 “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold[h] was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

26 “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

28 “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins.[i] He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.

29 “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’

30 “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.

32 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.” (Matthew 18)

I have borrowed without paying back.

I haven’t shown up. I haven’t shown gratitude. I haven’t kept my promise. I haven’t returned the favor. I didn’t include you. I didn’t apologize.

I hurt you.

I rejected you. I talked about you behind your back. I forgot you. I judged you. I didn’t ask about you. I didn’t encourage you. I believed the worst about you. I didn’t love you.