Thank you! My nails were actually a mess doing that, but when my Disability goes through, a nail salon - always looking for part time work - might be a good place to look for something usefl and fun to do.

...Please, always make sure only one thing: Never give someone online the impression like there's a need of looking after you. No-one in the void of the vast internet who doesn't know you personally.I think it could become pretty ugly... Especially for you.I'm seeing the ups and downs in your mood for quite some time, and I know: If someone wants to play the stupid and the hysteric, it's literally like the best food for any of these seeing that happen too.So... take care.

I have to believe in those on the net believing in me, though. So often, here have been the only people I've been able to reach out to and find a hand reaching back. My support system is extensive - and a huge part of it here, with people like you, who read, who comment, who tell me things from their own heart that can make it through to my heart.

The older I get the more I believe that none of us who write the way we do (those of us here on LJ, yourself included) do it because we are healthy people. We are flawed, sick, and searching for those who are also sick and rising to their own tops to beat it.

...I won't fight that argument. Only thing I have to say is: If just other people would let you believe whatever you want to believe, and not always try to know you better than you do yourself. Learned that in a few ways and I guess I'll be damned to learn about another facet again over and over. It's like I can smell that...People are... pretty sneaky and inpredictable if it's about a few things. Everyone's worried about being the next one to experience a bullet hitting his head and while all that paranoid fear, they don't even waste the thought about "when I start to cause riot and trouble in someone's life just by my own paranoia, isn't that trouble more likely going to drive anyone even more to wish death on my doorstep because I stole his piece and quiet?". Seriously, they don't think that far although I think this is something even a child can grasp.Fuck up someone's life through a whole lot of bullshit and don't be crying if he gets loud and angry for that... A "thank you" is like a mocking to expect for that. But people seem to just expect that. Like emotionally fully incompetent, worse than anyone you'd call "emotionally incompetent".

I think you're amazing and I'm very grateful for you and what you share with us. Including this video. I needed to hear it, probably as much as you needed to post it. I'm glad you're here. And your nails are bangin.