Maintaining Your Personal Identity In Marriage and Motherhood

Hello guys! Welcome back to my blog! Since my last collab with Theresa was such a great success, I teamed up with her again to bring you all another great collab. So just like last time, please make sure to check out her post here

I know that I am not the only woman that is married or have kid(s) and is busy, busy, busy, doing all of the things for everyone and not one thing for ourselves. Let me just say this… I love being a wife and mom and taking care of my family but what I don’t want to do is lose myself in the process. What I mean by this is that I always want to maintain my personal identity aside from being a wife and mom.

It’s so hard to get wrapped up in those roles, that we as women often forget who we are personally. There are things that you can do that will help you to avoid losing your personal identity in a relationship and in motherhood. I’m not saying go out and do things that would jeopardize any of the two but I am encouraging you all to be the best you and to not lose yourself.

Keeping Your Identity in Motherhood

Share with your kid(s) who you are as a person. Show them what you are passionate about and if you can, get them involved in what you love to do.

Surround yourself with a great support group. This can include a group of ladies who are mothers that don’t mind having kid free fun from time to time. It’s really important to do things separate from your kids so that you can get that much needed time to have fun.

Take breaks when needed, as often as they are needed to recharge. We are all humans and we, especially as mothers, need times where we can just relax and breathe.

Keeping Your Identity in Marriage

Continue to chase whatever dreams you had/have before you became a wife. It’s very important to have something that is for you and to have your own accomplishments within your marriage for you two to celebrate together.

Have days where you go and do things without your spouse that you love doing. I love exploring bookstores/libraries and then coming home and telling/showing my husband about my finds. I’m a bookworm, that’s my thing and I make time for it.

Know and/or learn your personality. Take time to learn things about yourself that you can share with your spouse. I learn new things about myself everyday and I love them all.

Comment below and share with me how you keep your identity in both marriage & motherhood.

Until next time…stay positive!

-Toya

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Published by Toya

Hello everyone!
My name is LaToya and welcome to my blog! I am married to my best friend and I am a first time mommy to a handsome little boy. Here you can expect to see posts about my life as a wife and mommy. So glad to have you all have you are here!
View all posts by Toya

As a woman, you need to play different roles. Many times we try to be so perfect in each role that just sacrifices our own ambitions and needs. It should not be done like that always, have to make a time for our own dreams and yes important to be clear with your husband and kids what you want in your life. Inspirational read for every woman.

Very wise words. I have recently becoming a mama to my second child and it’s a reminder that the next 12 months are really important to maintaining my identity as me as I know how easily it can get lost!

Totally love taking time for myself. I think it’s
Ok to put your career aside temporarily so your husband can peruse his. I had to put a pause on my career to move and care for my family but it’s all apart of the teamwork. Now he’s steady and supporting my career move.

These are fabulous tips! I started a group on facebook for local moms looking for mom friends. We do playdates and mom’s nights out. It is wonderful to have that support and be able to get away from the kiddos sometimes.

Reblogged this on Cynthia Hilston – Author & Blogger and commented:
I love when a woman isn’t afraid to speak up about this topic. I am an advocate for maintaining your identity even though you’re a mom and/or a wife. Who were you before you got married and/or had kids? Too many women get caught up in running errands, cleaning the house, cooking the meals, and taking care of everyone else in the household that they neglect themselves. You shouldn’t do that.

No, seriously. You really shouldn’t forget to take care of yourself!

It’s not selfish. If you are miserable, you make everyone around you miserable, including your family. You are a better mom and wife by taking time for yourself.

Stop the guilt. Stop it. You are worth it!

I have seen too many women lose their identity. Once your kids are grown, then what? You find yourself a shell. You cannot live vicariously through your kids. They will grow up and move out (one day, haha), and you ought to feel proud that they have become productive, hopefully happy members of society.

Find something you do just for you, even if it’s taking a few minutes to meditate or read or take a walk. I work out most mornings. I write. I get a massage once a month.

My husband of 15 years and I still go on a date once a month. We will talk at the end of each day after all the craziness is over and the kids are in bed. I still go out with my friends.

And guess what? I still get the cleaning, cooking, and errands done. I still spend time with my kids. It is totally possible.