05/12/2014

When Money Isn’t Everything But There Is Still Something Worth Fighting Over

A thoughtful distribution of your “stuff” is a gift more valuable than any item. After all, … “The last thing you want when you die is to put your family in a worse situation.”

“Money isn’t everything.” That is what most of us think when we hear about heirs fighting over an inheritance. Nevertheless, it’s a truth many heirs know all too well. Yes, sometimes heirs fight – even reasonable and emotionally upright ones – especially because money isn’t everything. How you split up priceless family artifacts and other physical goods can start or end fights before they happen. So how do you plan to fairly spread the relics and keep the peace?

Sure, there are many inheritance fights over dollars and cents. On the other hand, there are even more fights leading to protracted probate battles and just plain old hurt feelings over the disposition of physical goods, relics and family keepsakes. Unfortunately, it can be more difficult to plan for the disposition of these “things” in contrast to cash.

Oftentimes, physical items are difficult to split up. For example, you can’t simply tear the painting in half, divide a book, or even realistically split a set of china. In the end, in order to end a debate about which direction an item will go, to one heir or the other, you have to write it out. A will is simply not enough, generally speaking. It is hard to capture the kind of detail needed. Consequently, the matter will go straight into probate.

Thankfully, many states allow you to attach a more informal writing to your will – a document that offers a list of “what” and “to whom”, and is far more easily updated. No one, however, can make the often tough distribution decisions and create the list for you.

This list is one of those many little tasks to take on as part of the overall plan, and one you must keep updating as you acquire or lose this or that asset or family heirloom. This is also a topic worth discussing with your heirs. That way you, and they, will know what things they may want. After all, with heirloom fights it is an emotional connection to an object at the heart of the matter rather than its intrinsic value. Remember, it’s not always about money, because money isn’t everything.