Sextravaganza: Stories and Discussions

Imagine with me for a moment: you walk into a dark room that feels nearly frigid after a day spent outdoors enjoying the warm spring sun. The only light in the room radiates dimly from several lamps placed on various desks. There are couches set up in the front of the room, but the low light makes it difficult to distinguish the people sitting on them. As if to make the entire situation worse, the topic for discussion is none other than that dreaded yet exciting three-letter word—sex. This describes the setting for this year’s final Sextravaganza event on Tuesday evening, April 30 in Snyder 104. The event “Stories and Discussions” was hosted by COR 401 group 16 as part of their project.

COR 401 group 16 is made up of six seniors —Haley Fahrner, Chase Weber, Brittney Rand, Michael Trieb, Joel Beussink, and Michael Mercurio. They invited GC faculty and staff Jake and Lisa Amundson, John Brittingham, and Emily Bishop to be involved with this event. “Stories and Discussions” was just as the title describes; the event was broken up into several sections focusing on the emotional and physical aspects of sex, both for newlyweds and for those in more mature relationships. Discussion questions facilitated a time of audience reaction and participation after each section.

The Amundsons began the event by openly and honestly sharing their wedding night story. Contrary to what you might expect, it was not the stereotypical wedding night. Lisa said that “the cliché may be what we want, but it may not be what is best.” For them, sex didn’t happen that night, and that was OK. Jake shared that he has learned that sex is not merely physical intimacy; rather it is an “intimacy of the soul,” and this is something that takes time and patience to learn with someone. Honesty, communication, and practice are extremely important parts of learning to “share sex” together in marriage, which the COR group mentioned as a more accurate term than simply “having sex.”

The group collected many stories and read real-life stories about experiences with sex, most often first time experiences. While many stories began in initially painful and uncomfortable situations, they led to a search into the “glorious collision and mysterious union” of God’s gift of human sexuality. In essence, the most important advice from this event is that sex means so much more than physical pleasure. It takes time, practice, patience, and relationship to really work, and these aspects occur best in marriage. This event definitely opened up the opportunity for healthy conversations that we might not otherwise have on this campus. We can hope that these conversations will continue and be further encouraged and informed by the group’s presentation during Common Day of Learning.