Month: July 2016

i crossed your path
head slung low
hands were clasped
and my, my my mind
was still attached
but you fixed that
of all the things
i think i miss
that
the most
my body wasn't
just a host
my mind
was completely
unique to me
and now I'm
just like all those
walking ghosts
the lost souls
fixed
and detached
head slung low
i crossed your path

a flaw
no matter
how small
is enough
to make
my skin crawl
so i
find myself
stressed
under duress
my mind
churns out
more thoughts
than i can
possibly
digest
and no matter
how hard i try
to shake it
I still feel useless
fetal position
quiver and try
to make sense
but it's hard to
when everything
comes up fictitious
lies now surmount
the ones that
were dispelled previous
and the empty
hollow shell
grows more obvious
its not a moment
captured
but a prison cell
that never releases
its captives

my heart
was broke in
the door
was unlocked
although
i knew better
still it came
as a shock
the most
beautiful thief
was never stopped
never questioned
never a suspect
to the cops
she lurks
in shadows now
whispering
this might hurt
awhile
I replied
its ok
if my heart breaks
thats what it 's made for anyway

phase one
spill your guts
honesty
as a quality
never quite worked
well for me
anyway
phase two
she'll
set the distance
push it between us
incrementally
greater with
every passing day
phase three
always demonstrates
the hands of fate
never had
happiness
planned for me
phase four
sidelined
I've been
marginalized
this spectator process
reaks with the
stench of familiarity
phase five
into the abyss
the bottomless pit
darkness
as an envelope
seals the edge
and engulfs me
phase six
repeat
and rinse.

biologically
our minds can
only hold so much
and with a rush of
new sensations
i find my
data banks are full
with so many
things to forget
i cant choose
which ones
to keep
which to
pass through
the membrane
between skull
and brain
release to the
ions of carbon
permeating
every living cell
recall a taste
then it fades
a forever imprinted
isotope decay

self anointed
the disappointed
typecast in a role
forever appointed
to be the fool
a useless tool
or whatever comes
back smiling.
this routine becomes
the classic error
you were never
smooth
nor debonair
even if you tried
you're sure
you'd fail
assigned to the lower rung
you watch with your
heart unslung
never spoke before spun
losing everything
under your sun.