Tentaclefriendly:CSB, after accidentally opening the emoji keyboard for the 1,234th time, and NEVER opening it once on purpose, I found you can delete it. In iOS, it's under settings/keyboards.

Standard keyboard and emoji keyboard you can just swipe left on the emoji keyboard and hit delete.

Now I'm not going to get a screen full of happy faces and vegetables every time I try and hit the space bar or the microphone button.

Small Victories...

You. Just. Made. My. Day. It's Settings/General/Keyboards (not sure if it changed on IOS 11) on my phone, for anyone else that wants to vanquish those turds once and for all. Added bonus, it doesn't suggest a stupid picture when I type a word like "car" "home" or "emoji driven rage" (haven't actually tried the last one, and now I'll never know).