So How Realistic Is Porn, Actually?

Whether we admit it or not, most of us have watched porn. By some estimates, up to 50 percent of women are watching it. And who better to field our burning questions about all things porn than Lynsey G., a veteran porn journalist who has been writing about, dissecting, and reviewing porn for a decade and whose book, Watching Porn, just hit shelves.

So how did those actors get so flexible? What are some tricks of the trade that don't make the final cut? And just how realistic are those onscreen orgasms? Her answers—which, unsurprisingly, are NSFW—don't disappoint.

Glamour: On a kind of macro scale, would you say that this career path has made you more or less turned on by porn?

Lynsey G.: I'm definitely a more critical viewer now. Like, I could almost always point out in a scene the things that I don’t like or things that I might be able to intuit about the production. But I actually do think that weirdly, although I think about it so much, I'm still really attracted to porn as an outlet. There really is such a fantasy aspect to it.

And in thinking about the construction of that fantasy on a very serious level in my writing, it has really helped me appreciate that that aspect is important to understanding and consuming pornography. Like, you know, you can see something that you might not agree with. You can see something that wouldn't, you know, turn your own crank. But it's important to understand that people did that for their own reasons, because they know that there's someone out there whose crank it will turn.

Glamour: Is there really ever such a thing as pro-woman porn and how do you find it?

LG: I think what a lot of people don’t do is spend a little bit more time on Google before you go to the material. Because basically anything that you are looking for—like, if that day you want to see a threesome scene with two men and a woman—you want to make sure that it was made by a company that makes ethical porn, that pays people well and treats people well on set, and doesn't violate anybody's limits or boundaries. So you might need to type in a bunch of those keywords too. Like, I guarantee you that there is someone out there who has made that. And if it is important to them that the content they produce is ethical, they will have that in their keywords.

Even if you're on Pornhub, God forbid, watching the free content, if you see a scene that you really like, make a note. Somewhere in there it's going to say probably who the performers are, possibly who directed it. You might be able to find out what the production company was. If you like it, make a note of those people and find them again. And pay for it next time.

One of my favorite sites is PinkLabelTV, which is run by Pink and White Productions. It's like a video-on-demand service. You can rent or buy movies and scenes from a variety of ethically produced porn sites.

Glamour: I want to talk about consent. If you type "rape porn" into Google, those eight letters will get you, I don't know, millions of hits. You describe in the book feeling like you can't be certain whether those women are consenting or not. And I wondered where you have ended up with that, because it’s not just that—it’s also the portraying sexual assault, or assaultive behavior on women. So there's the question of, is everyone consenting? I'm curious how you processed all that.

LG: I have a few thoughts on this. The issue of consent in porn is still super, super, super tricky, because the issue of nonconsent in sexual fantasy is also super tricky. It just exists, a lot of people have that fantasy. There is nothing wrong with having a fantasy about being forced, and the difficulty comes into play when you enact that fantasy on film, and then people can see it and not be certain about whether it's a fantasy or not. Because it is real people, with real bodies, really doing this. If your particular thing is what they call "consensual nonconsent," search for consensual nonconsent before you search for rape porn. Because that's the accepted terminology for people, especially in the BDSM community, and those are the terms that they use.

I would say, be careful. If you're watching something that you feel a little bit hinky about, look at the lighting, look at the sound quality, look at the editing. If it's all well-put-together, you can rest fairly well-assured that you're at least not watching someone being violated. You can't always know for certain what's going on on that set and how into it those performers are, but you can rest at least relatively assured that they got paid for the day—that they knew what they were getting into. If you're watching a scene that has really rough sex, and the people involved don’t look like they're enjoying themselves, I think that throws up a much bigger red flag for me. If you are just looking for something—I don't know, a cheerleader scene, say—and the cheerleader in that scene looks dismayed, not when she's looking at the camera, but when she thinks that nobody's focusing on her face? That's a consent issue. You know?

Glamour: What, if anything, could we learn about good sex from porn—including what stuff we should ignore?

LG: This is probably slightly informed by how much we've talked about consent, but I think it's still a good point: I think the best thing that you can learn from porn is to pay attention to your partner. Like I said before, I think the scenes in porn that are most exciting to me, and that I think many people would agree with, are the ones where the people are really into it. What you're looking for is the dynamic between the people who are performing, and whether they're really into what they're doing or not. That comes down to communication. Whether it's body language, facial expression, or outright saying, "Do this, don’t do that. I like that, I don’t like that."

We have definitely all scene porn scenes where what they're doing on a technical level looks really hot, but it is boring as hell to watch. If you can look at what's going on there between those two people and figure out what makes it not hot, it's usually that they're just not into each other. So I think what you can take away from that is to pay attention to your partner or your partners, you know? Ask them for advice. Ask them if they like what you're doing. If they are clearly enjoying something, do more of that.

Glamour: I love when you wrote that porn actors are professionals and often capable of feats of strength and endurance that the rest of us could never match.

LG: I mean, most male porn actors—in the straight industry, at least—are using performance-enhancing drugs. Most of them are on Viagra or Cialis, or even injectables. I don't know the names of the injectable drugs, but they're out there. So that is much less of an issue now. But I think it's a really compelling issue, because it's such an issue of masculinity on porn sets—whether you can stay hard or not. And that, I think, has really leaked into sort of the larger consciousness about, you know, what you can expect out of a person with a penis.

There is still definitely a level of discipline that a lot of porn stars have, that exceeds the lay person's ability to control their bodies. You know, not every guy or person with a penis on a porn set can do the pop-shot on command. I have heard stories about people who can. I was told once—and I don't know if this is true— that Ron Jeremy can count backward from five and ejaculate when he hits zero.

Glamour: Your book also had great quotes about anal-sex scenes, and the relaxation techniques that go into them.

LG: Oh, yeah. I know a lot of people will, on their way to the set that they're shooting at, just put a butt plug in and wear it around all day until the scene, so that they're already, you know, loosened up and ready to go. And enemas are usually...I mean, as far as I'm aware, people usually just use warm tap water. Doesn't have to be, like, a scientific experiment of any kind.

But for younger people who are watching anal sex scenes, and who think that you can just pop anything in there any old time you want? You might be in for a really unpleasant awakening. [Laughs.] I don’t want to discourage anyone from that type of play, because it's great and you should go for it and not be ashamed or worried about your body. But you should also know that accidents can occur, and when it comes to butt stuff, there's a higher likelihood of an accident occurring. I just think that it's important for people to understand that this person that you're watching doing double anal probably did a whole lot of preparation before that happened.

Glamour: That's amazing. Is there anything else where, if you knew what it had taken to get that scene, you'd be like, "Oh, OK..."

LG: The more complicated something looks, the more complicated it probably was. One of the most fascinating conversations I have ever had with anyone about porn was when I interviewed Sabrina Deep about her 50-man gangbang—or maybe it wasn’t 50. I don't remember how many guys it was. But when I watched that scene, my brain just exploded with all of these logistical questions: How would you pull this off? How many people are working backstage to make sure that this goes smoothly? It really is a production. You need sort of, like, handlers on set. You need everyone there to know the rules, to know the etiquette going in. Everyone has to have all of their paperwork filed and all of their tests done. It's really a logistical nightmare, but they pull it off, and it's really kind of awesome. And everyone has a great time, you know? That's great.

That kind of goes back to the anal stuff. Like, you don’t see them lubing up for anal scenes, but they did. It is important for you as a consumer to know that if you are going to be doing butt stuff, lube is your best friend. And other stuff too—but especially butt stuff.

Glamour: What happens if a porn actress is on her period? Or does that not really come up?

LG: I don't know if there's a special name for them or not, but there's a sponge that a lot of people use when they're on their period. You just put it up in there before, and then after the scene you just take it out. And I guess it works pretty well. You probably wouldn't want to be doing, like, double penetrations or anything that might knock that sponge loose, but for the most part, I think it's pretty effective.

Glamour: What about when it comes to women orgasming—are they faking it?

LG: Oh, yeah. You really can never really tell. The one time that I remember very specifically, there was a scene I watched with this woman and I was, like, blown away by how much pleasure she was experiencing in this scene. And it was right up there at the tip-top of my favorite scenes ever. Then later—I don't remember if she wrote an article, or if someone did a profile of her, or how exactly it came up—but I read an article about her, and I think that the reporter had been with her on the set of that scene and afterward, in the dressing room, asked her whether the orgasms had been real. And she said no! And I was like, Oh my God! No way! I thought for sure that I had it figured out. So I really don’t think that you can ever know.

I do think that most of the time, even if maybe a full-on, mind-blowing orgasm wasn’t achieved by a person with a vagina on a set, the majority of the time, those actors are enjoying themselves. It might not be, like, their favorite sex that they've ever had, but they're doing this because they like it on one level or another, you know?

This article is part of Summer of Sex, our 12-week long exploration of how women are having sex in 2017.