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August 31, 2012

You know, now that I
think about it, doesn’t “Liebster” sound pretty close to “lobster”? I wonder if this is all a cross-promotional
gambit sparked by Red Lobster in a bid for universal governance by way of its
mind-altering seafood platters?

August 30, 2012

Trixie stared at Lloyd
with wide eyes for a moment, and then pointed a shaky finger at him. “Did ya…uh, did ya just get ten times more
competent and serious?”

Lloyd nodded
slowly. “You would have me act a fool if
it meant a person’s life was on the line?”

“Well, no, but…yer
kinda scarin’ me, pal. What’s with that
look on yer face all o’ a sudden? And what
about you sayin’ you’ll ‘never fail someone again’?”

Lloyd opened his mouth
to speak -- but before he could, Trixie held up a hand. “N-nah, forget I said anythin’. It ain’t my place to go pryin’ in all yer
affairs, ya know? I mean, I still barely
know ya. And I ain’t about to make ya
say somethin’ ya don’t wanna.”

August 29, 2012

It’s hard to
change. It’s hard to get out of a
rut. It’s hard to do anything in the
face of difficulty, or convention, or reason, or even in light of one’s own
mind. Hard, but not impossible; as you
know, the right song can make all the difference.

So it was that I
decided to take the first post of Cross-Up’s brand spankin’ new Manly Song
Repository. It’s a side project that’ll
likely bring with it plenty of unforeseen problems, but it’s one that I’m
willing to undertake if it means building manly bonds between us all -- and of
course, creating THE MANLIEST PLAYLIST IN
THE UNIVERSE . The problem was that
I needed the right song to start things off.
I needed a song that said, “Hey!
This is what being a man is all about!”

It would have been too
easy to post a song from Gamma Ray or Stratovarius or Hammerfall, or any number
of metal bands (though I will eventually).
It would have been too easy to post a guitar-heavy track from an RPG
(though I will). It would have been too
easy to dip into any one of Daisuke Ishiwatari’s shredding masterpieces (though
I will). I needed something unexpected. Something that would raise eyebrows. Something…godly.

August 27, 2012

For a moment, Lloyd
thought about finding a good place to hide; somehow, peering into the personal
life -- or the van, for that matter -- of his ex-teacher made him feel like a
voyeur. But he didn’t have a single
hidey-hole to duck into. The most he
could manage was to try and disappear behind one of the bars of the parking
lot’s fence -- and unfortunately, he’d eaten a thousand meals too many to have
the figure needed.

So he just stood there,
agape, and stared at Lien-Hua. And for
the longest time, he feared she stared right back.

Oh dear -- if she spots me, I could soon be on the receiving end of a
thrashing, Lloyd thought, reeling a bit.
But after a minute of silence (and raising his guard as if a bear
approached him), he leaned forward, practically pressing his face into the
fence and adjusting his glasses. Nothing?
Odd. I’m in her field of
vision. Is she dead-set on ignoring
me? Or perhaps she has poor observation
skills?

August 26, 2012

Well, under the
circumstances, who doesn’t? The only
ones who don’t -- to my knowledge -- are Dr. Robotnik from The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog and that one evil maestro
dictator guy from long-defunct animated series Oscar’s Orchestra (which I remember mostly because it starred a
talking piano and had an episode paying homage to The Lord of the Rings. And
again, a talking piano). So chances are
that if you’re a living human being, you’re likely a fan of music in one form
or another. Unless you’re planning on
becoming some sort of wig-wearing fascist ruler.

Come to think of it, in
a universe full of talking instruments, wouldn’t that effectively make you some
sort of genocidal monster? Was that a
sub-textual issue the writers were aware of?
Is it possible that I blocked out the memory of on-screen instrumental
murder? I mean, the opening has the bad
guys detonating all music-related paraphernalia in a treble clef-shaped burst
of smoke; who’s to say how many lives were lost, or how many panicked, pleading
screams were heard?

…Then again, it does
have a triangle-man who opened a portal to the past. So maybe I’m taking the source material too
seriously.

At a glance, it DOES lend itself to philosophical discussion.

So I’ll go ahead and
switch gears -- and proudly announce a new feature here on Cross-Up.

August 23, 2012

Well, I was going to delay this for a bit, but I decided "It's about that time." I think it's a serviceable look; I'd have preferred a different background, but for now it'll do. Plus it's the start of something that may or may not be fantastic; I have a "certain something" in mind for the 200th post -- assuming of course that I can get everything ready by then. I've made a fair bit of progress, but it's always the home stretch that proves problematic, doesn't it?

Anyway, in lieu of that "certain something" I've added something that'll help me out (potentially): I've figured out how to add in polls. So if you feel like voicing your opinion, go ahead and click your way to victory.

“Did ya get all that,
pal?! We’re in some serious trouble
here!” Trixie yelled, with enough force to nearly shake the cell phone out of
his hand.

“…Eh? Wha?
Oh, my apologies, I wasn’t paying attention.”
He rubbed his nose. “I feel as if
it’s been almost two months since I was last in action…”

“DAMMIT, LLOYD! GET SERIOUS, WILL YA?”

“About what now? I’d like a summary, if you don’t mind.” He tilted his head a bit. “In case there’s anyone just joining us, or
someone has forgotten what last transpired.”
He tilted his head in the other direction. “Miss Walters, have you ever heard of the
fourth wall?”

August 21, 2012

Cripes. I’d like to think that I have a handy grasp
on the franchise, but I’m having a hard time remembering any games -- well, any
meaningful, canon-advancing games -- that put our hero Sora in the spotlight. I’m drawing a serious blank here. Outside of Kingdom Hearts 2, what have we had?
A prequel starring Roxas, another prequel featuring a Roxas-lookalike, a
girl, and an idiot; a remake of a card battle game; a cell phone game…if my
memory’s correct, Sora (and with it, the actual progression of the canon
instead of filling in plot points -- or widening them, more than likely) has
been out of action for about seven years. Or if not out of action due to some game I'm missing, then far-removed from the public eye.

Which is kind of weird,
considering 1) he’s the hero of the story, and 2) he’s what helps make the
series great. But I suppose there’s no
point in whining, now that our hero’s come back. And from what I’ve heard -- a few reviews
aside -- KH3D is something of a
return to form. (Though of course,
people said the same thing about Birth By
Sleep…) Well, from the video or two
I’ve seen, there’s a pretty big emphasis on the worlds -- largely because
they’re utterly massive now. And to
compensate, Sora can traverse levels with a slew of new moves. Combined with the supposed evolution of BBS’ systems -- which I will admit
weren’t the problem with that game -- it’s safe to say that from a gameplay
perspective, KH3D shouldn’t be a
disappointment. With the story, who
knows how it’ll go…?

Whatever the case, let
the records show that I don’t hate everything
Squeenix has done since KH1. My intent is to one day get KH3D, and a 3DS along with it -- if only
to enjoy cameos from the rather excellent The
World Ends With You.

Let the records also
show that KH2, in my opinion, is
vastly inferior to KH1.

August 20, 2012

Patton nodded slowly
and folded his arms. “So that’s how it
is, huh? Manly or not, you’re the bad
guy. You’re about to wreck Porbeagle,
for one reason or another.” He unfolded
his arms, and started popping his knuckles.
“All right then. Get ready to eat
your own face.”

“Ah-ah-ah -- we can’t
have any onstage violence until the script demands it,” said Gaston, waving a
finger at the colossal captive. “The
time is not yet right for the duel -- and I certainly wouldn’t engage in one with
an extra like you.”

“Extra?”

“Figuratively speaking
of course. As the show’s mastermind and
arguable leading man, I have more of a…shall we say, stake in the show. I suppose
it’s a bit hasty of me to call you extras, but you’re all at least a tier lower than I am.”

August 18, 2012

I have a very specific
rule when it comes to playing RPGs: never play them if there’s so much as a
raindrop outside. It’s a lesson that I
had to learn the hard way one summer when playing through Final Fantasy 10. I was
trekking through the Macalania Woods, merry as could be, choosing to blissfully
ignore the rain pounding atop the roof of my grandma’s house. “I have nothing to fear from mere rain,” I scoffed. “My team is steadily growing stronger -- just
as I surmised, making Yuna the party’s black mage was a brilliant move. No force on earth can stop me!”

And then, before I could get to a save point
-- mere steps away from one, most likely -- the power went out. My progress, my EXP, all of it erased. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I hadn’t
taken some time out to grind for extra levels (because I’m not satisfied with
my RPGs unless my party members become verifiable deities)…and it wouldn’t have
been so bad if, once I’d re-leveled later and made it back to the same point, I
had to shut off the game so I could go to Red Lobster with my grandma. So basically, I had to play that section
three times… but it was worth it for those Red Lobster biscuits.

I would covet my neighbor's wife for you. Could use some midriffs, though.

Why do I bring this
up? It’s because it’s been raining quite
a bit on my end -- a blessed reprieve from the summer heat -- and because of
it, I’ve been momentarily stalled on finishing my playthrough of Tales of the Abyss. It’s my intention to talk about that game one
of these days; in the same sense that I tried KH1 to see if it’s aged well, I thought I’d give Abyss a whirl. I won’t go into any grave detail, so I’ll
keep this post a bit short. And I’ll
start by saying this:

August 16, 2012

Mrs. Overdose prodded
Patton with the shotgun once more.
“Better get a move on. I got an
itchy trigger finger, and a lot of accidents
tend to happen when I’m around. So yeah,
pushing your luck? Not a good idea.”

Patton didn’t even
bother looking back, or giving her his common growl (one whose rumble had been
noted to scare off tigers). He just
started walking toward Haldane Manor, hands clenched into fists, and the veins
in his bazooka-sized arms thumping heatedly.
As his slow steps made the ground tremble, JP and Trixie -- flanking him
with eyes fixed on the old manor -- matched his movements. As they approached, the manor almost seemed
to grow before their eyes; it loomed well above them, widening and lengthening,
to the point where it could likely hold ten houses within its walls. The sky itself seemed to darken, and with it
came a frigid wind unbefitting a summer day.

Laying it on a little thick, aren’t you? JP asked, looking up at
the sky. All that’s missing are a few lightning bolts and flapping bats, and
we’d be in the middle of a B-movie’s set.

August 15, 2012

You know what? Confession time: I actually wasn’t expecting
much out of Persona 4 Arena’s
story.

Heresy, I know. How could I call myself an Atlus zealot if I
wasn’t willing to go knocking on doors and proclaiming the coming of our
savior? But really, can you blame me? Fighting games -- BlazBlue notwithstanding -- aren’t exactly known for their stories,
and the transition from a linear format in the original Persona 4 to an inevitably-what-if-Yosuke-had-to-save-the-day
format seemed like a motion that would only hurt the overall narrative. And again, this is a fighting game; my time
would be better spent learning how to properly zone with Naoto’s Hair-Trigger
Megido instead of uncovering the mystery behind why Teddie’s decided to start
moonlighting as a pimp.

But for Atlus’ sake --
and to find out why, purportedly, Elizabeth is on the moon -- I figured I’d
give it a shot. And I’m glad I did;
format issues aside, P4A is a worthy
successor to the canon.

(Warning: spoilers for Persona 4 and Persona 4 Arena to follow. If you haven’t played either of those games
-- and if not, then you should be playing those instead, you foolish fool! --
then get ready to have a ton of spoilers lopped onto your plate. Like a healthy serving of spaghetti laced with plywood.)

August 13, 2012

I know I do a lot of bellyaching about Squeenix and Final Fantasy 13, but I realized that even if I bring up legitimate points, my pain -- if you could call it that -- is nothing more than a paper cut. Considering that this scene, with only a meager bit of contest, made me tear up and start reflecting deeply on my life, I can only begin to wonder how wide a gash this scene must open in true, die-hard FF fans.

Maybe it's just the fact that opera music and current-tech touch-ups managed to make that video what it is; maybe if I watched the original scene in its SNES glory, I wouldn't have been affected as much. Or maybe I'd have tears streaming onto my laptop for a solid hour, knowing that the same company that brought us that with severe technical limitations (but in exchange, with ingenuity and ambition) has brought us...other things...well, it certainly helps put one's preferences and actions in perspective.

Video games. They're pretty great most of the time. But sometimes...sometimes, they can do something more. You know what I mean?

...Sorry, I'm rambling. I, uh...I think I need to go take a walk or something.

JP ran a hand over his
face as he struggled to open his eyes.
“Argh…jeez Louise. I feel like a
rhino stomped on my lungs.” He shook his
head; considering the fact that he’d used a phrase like “jeez Louise”, he still
had some grogginess to get out of his system.
Nevertheless, he managed to sit upright -- albeit in a slouch -- in the
van’s back seat.

Or rather, the sedan’s
back seat. The half-torn, leather
upholstery was a far cry from the van’s cotton, and the distinct smell of fried
foods and cigarettes made his nose start to burn. But among those scents, he smelled one
slightly unfamiliar. He’d heard things
about it, and had done a little research on the side, and could make a guess --
for some reason, the car smelled like gunpowder.

“Okay, what exactly did
I miss?” JP asked. He looked to his
left. He didn’t even notice the fifty-
or sixty-something Hispanic woman. Nor
did he notice the reed in her mouth. No,
the first, and only thing he saw was
the shotgun aimed at his face.

“Morning, sleepyhead,”
she said, holding the barrel a few inches from his nose.

JP stared at that
shotgun for a full minute. He turned
away and raised a hand. “Can I go back
in the fire?”

August 11, 2012

I’ve been thinking about
Kingdom Hearts a fair bit. The games that I’ve played -- a whopping two
-- and the games that I haven’t; make no mistake that in spite of all my
nitpicks and qualms, I still like this franchise a whole lot. It’s got potential and character; plus, I
think that we need it (i.e. Kingdom
Hearts 3) now more than ever. At least, the KH3 I envision, and the one fans deserve -- not something created with Squeenix's current mindset, but with the Squaresoft sensibilities that drew us all into the universe into the first place.

Why the sudden
revelation? Because you see, a new issue
of GameInformer came in
yesterday. Apparently, EA is gearing up
to release Another Goddamn Shooter
Army of Two: Cartel of ShadowsThe
Devil’s Cartel.

August 9, 2012

Patton swerved around
the corner, with enough momentum to make the van slide on two wheels. That alone would’ve been enough to make
Trixie puke, but the thought of where they might soon head left her searching
for a barf bag. “Ya can’t be serious,
pal,” she said, her face starting to pale, and her mouth starting to get that
salty feeling it often did just before a purge of the gut. “Ya seriously wanna leave the country?”

“It’s the only way to
save my boy for sure.” Patton didn’t
even bother looking at her; he just kept his eyes on the road, his mighty
moustache bristling in the wake of his spoken resolve.

“But…but that’s just
crazy talk! Ya can’t just pack up and
skip town! Ya got a lotta stuff to take
care of!”

“I should go by the
house and pick up some supplies. And a
change of clothes. I got a lot of paint
on my pants today.” He let loose a low
rumble. “Mmmmmm…and some steaks. We can’t leave the country without steaks. That’d be like spitting on the Liberty Bell.”

August 8, 2012

I would like to consider
myself lucky. I’ve barely had Persona 4 Arena for a full 24 hours, yet
it’s notably and easily exceeded my expectations. The look of the game is fantastic. It’s overflowing with style. The combat, while intimidating at first, is
easy enough to understand once you dive a bit deeper into the game. There are plenty of little flourishes, from
one of the game’s characters thanking Atlus and ArcSys for “sponsoring the
program” to a slick main menu…and just in case you haven’t nerdgasmed at the
sight of your favorite mystery-solving teens in glorious HD sprites, classic
music plays in the background (along with plenty of new tracks, of
course…accented by a bonus CD full of remixes guaranteed to get your toe
tapping).

It’s been a while since
I’ve played a game that made me want to stay up all night. But lo and behold, P4A is just the game to make me want to do it. And not just because of the fighting game
arms race my brother and I ALWAYS have (though a fair portion of my time went
towards trying to learn some Yosuke combos); it’s the story that made me want
to swear off the sandman. Even with just
an hour or so of playtime, I can sense that my trust in Persona 4 -- which I consider to be a pillar of fine writing, video
game or otherwise, as well as one of
my Top 5 Favorite Games -- wasn’t misplaced.
In fact, I’d argue that even with a cursory glance, P4A’s story is even better. I’ll likely discuss the game in more detail
in the coming days, but for now I’ll just leave you with this image:

I’ll acknowledge that there’s still a lot of
time for P4A to go awry (and that I
need to take of the fanboy goggles to view things objectively), but I’m pleased
with the product so far. But that aside,
I want to focus on something a bit more to my speed.

August 6, 2012

(We interrupt this chapter of I Hraet You for a chapter of I Hraet You -- a very special guest chapter written by one Konstantine Paradias. Read on and feel the supreme, overflowing love -- and read to the end for an even lovelier treat. Of love.)

We’ve been cooped up
inside this bunker too damn long now. Outside, we hear the screechin’ sounds
them darn things make, their constant clawin’ at our thick met’l walls, the way
they try to chew through the wirin’.

Sum of the other girls
are gittin’ antsy, what with that cacoph’ny an’ all. Deirdre’s been tryin’ to
amuse ‘em, hasn’t ‘ad much luck.

One a’ the girls threw
a tin can o’ soy beans halfway through her act. I tol’ her Hamlet was a bit
much, what with them zombie ‘pocalypse goin’ on an’ such, but she woulnd’t
lissen. Said “Hamlet’s jes’ what them poor sows need” only she said it more
refined-like.

Twenny-five days,
twenny-five gals, alla us cooped up in one well-built hole in the ground.
Plenty food, plenty water. Not a man in sight.

August 5, 2012

I find it hilarious that
I’m only two days away from owning Persona
4 Arena -- with the pre-order soundtrack, no less -- and now, out of
nowhere, I have a new reason for irrational hype and girlish squealing. A new fighting game is on the way…and you may
have heard the name before.

August 2, 2012

JP just kept crawling
and cursing as he moved through the vents.
His balled-up hands (one of which clutched a screwdriver) and uncovered
knees bumped against the heating metal; between the darkness and the smoke
starting to fill the vents, his visibility had long since nosedived. He pulled his jacket and shirt over his
nose. “Damn it! Damn it, damn it, damn it!” he growled,
making sure to slam his fists down with each motion. And for good measure, he added a quick “Son
of a bitch!”

If he’d been destined
to die in there, he’d do so with the comfort of knowing that no one could stop him from swearing freely.