Sunday, May 10, 2009

Remembering

I know I've said it before, but it's been over a year, so I'm hoping you don't mind if I say it again. I think it's vitally important to remember. I'm not just talking about any kind of remembering either. In fact, I think that dwelling on the past, especially the painful parts or the parts filled with regret, is destructive and potentially devastating. Instead, I'm talking about the kind of remembering that focuses on God's work in our lives. This type of looking back is a must because it has the exact opposite result of the destructive kind. When we remember where we have been, remember what God has done, remember how God has blessed, provided, comforted, and shown Himself, we open up the door to allow God's work to bless us all over again.

But somehow, it seems like the negative memories in our past are a lot easier to drudge up than those of God's power and goodness. Satan loves to encourage us to dwell on the parts of our past that will keep us down, but remembering that God is faithful, powerful, and mighty? That's another story. That's why this type of remembering is a conscious decision, rarely happening on its own.

I know for me, it's often easier to forget. A blessing from yesterday is sometimes forgotten by tomorrow. A time of great provision fades from memory faster than I'd like to admit as I move on to concentrating on the next need. It's a cycle that continues on autopilot unless I take the time to stop. Think. Reflect. Remember.

Do you remember reading in Exodus about the people of God, the Israelites? They see God pour out His miracles more than any group of people that has ever lived, and yet it seems that they can't for the life of them remember what God has done for them from one miracle to the next. Crisis after crisis is averted by the parting of the sea, the sending of manna, the provision of water from a rock, and still, each time a new problem arises, they worry, failing to remember that God's faithfulness in the past is just as real in the present.

It would be silly if I really thought that I am different from those people who walked through the desert so many years ago. I know I have all of those same tendencies, and God knows it too. That's why I think He makes such a point of having His people remember.

I know I don't do it enough, but when I do I am overwhelmed by grace. Today was no exception as I reflected on my life one year ago. Let me tell you why.

One year ago, Adrienne was born. She was here, and I didn't even know it. It wasn't until May 12th that I knew a baby girl had been born, that a birthmother was making the courageous decision to make a plan of adoption for her, that we were going to be in the mix of profiles that would be shown as potential families.

One year ago Adrienne was in the arms of her birthmother. Her mother held her, choosing to love on her instead of put her in the nursery for the one day that she would have her baby before releasing her to the arms of a cradle care family. One year ago, Adrienne was loved from the moment she was born, before she had ever laid eyes on me or Nathan or Marianna. She was loved.

One year ago God was teaching my heart to be content, to rest in His plan, to be thankful for what He had given me in my two girls, all the while knowing that He was about to bring into our lives the girl that was going to wrap her arms around our hearts and never let go.

One year ago Adrienne's room was an office. There was no green paint on the walls.

There was no name on the wall.

There were no loving touches, no pictures, no curtains.

There wasn't a crib, pulled down from the attic and reassembled.

There were no sweet reminders of our second daughter in our third daughter's room.

One year ago I didn't know that the floor of that sterile, lifeless office would be transformed into a no holds barred cuddling arena.

I didn't know what my life would like. But one year ago, God did.

I don't know where you are today, but no matter where you find yourself, take comfort in the fact that the God who took care of you yesterday, is still holding you today. The same Jesus who has been weaving together the situations and circumstances of your life knows what the next stitch in the pattern is going to be. The method God used in the past might not be the same that one that He will use in the future, but He will be the same God. Take time to remember the moments of faithfulness, and rest in the promise that we have that His faithfulness has no limit. It will be there tomorrow, just like it was yesterday and today.

I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.

Thank you - this is exactly what I need today. I am so glad He knows what He is doing, because it certainly doesn't feel like it to me! I do know that it will all be fine eventually, though. I have no idea what fine will be, but I am looking forward to finding out!

What a wonderful post...you're right, it is often the hurtful memories that are at the forefront of our mind. Christ wants to fill us with his joy and have His peace at the forefront of our minds if only we let him!

I don't know if you are aware of this already, but I am part of a group of women at my church that is doing the Beth Moore bible study on Esther. She mentions in one of the days about meeting a group of women who bonded over the loss of a child. I knew that you had gotten together with a group of women and blogged about it last year and I went through your blog archive to see if it was you. It was! Wow...what a small world! Just wanted to share that with you if you weren't aware that she mentioned meeting you in that bible study!

And I am here to share another thanks! Sometimes I think that our pains that we endure somehow define us. But I would rather it be the joys that we enjoy and share with those around us, be the more defining things! It is the perspective that we choose and the things that we focus on! After our move, I have wondered about alot of things . . . but I am reminded by your post to keep the focus on God's blessings :)