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A Fearless Lover

How many times have I stood on the cliff, my ankles tightly tied to an invisible bungee rope – I'm told it will support me if I jump. But I don't know that for sure. I can't "see" the rope. And then I hear these voices in my head telling me not to jump. My heart starts to race:

"Don't call him until he calls you. You don't want to appear desperate."

"How many times have you invited them, but they never offer to pick up the bill? Forget them!"

"You're giving away too much about your project, after all he is your competition."

"Don't share all your recipes, keep some for yourself."

"Don't give away your whole heart, keep some for yourself."

"I wouldn't trust her."

"This world is all about who's on top. Make sure you're the one."

"You did your best, she was going to die anyway."

There are so many voices that keep telling me not to jump, not to risk it, because the pain might be too hard to take. But who said the point in life is to avoid pain? Some of the most beautiful people in this world are covered in scars.

So I take the plunge.

"I don't wanna play games. I'm going to call him."

"I don't really care if they don't pick up the bill. I love their company."

"I don't believe in competition. I don't believe that giving of yourself will leave you with less. On the contrary..."

"Damn the recipes."

"My heart ain't mine anyway."

"If she betrays me, at least I haven't betrayed myself."

"This world is about putting others before yourself."

"No one can ever say they loved or cared enough. You can always do more of both."

The wind rushes through my face – I'm letting go of control – I'm loving – I'm falling and it's light and it's a rush – it's beautiful. And it's true, there is no pain in letting go - and I'm being caught by all the people I've loved and I'm bouncing right back – held tightly by the promise of the Almighty, "Love me that I may love thee, if thou lovest me not, my love can in no wise reach thee..."