This Is the Most Common Way Social Media Leads to Divorce

Smartphones are potent devices capable of spreading knowledge, inspiring social movements, and even derailing relationships—especially when social media is involved. In fact, some 81% of lawyers claim to have seen a significant increase in the number of divorce cases using social media–based evidence, according to a 2010 survey from the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers. Intrigued by this fact, Huffington Post recently asked lawyers to divulge the myriad of ways in which social media can ruin peoples’ marriages, and the resulting list reads like a modern-day relationship trainwreck. Here are the three most common ways social media can ruin a relationship and, eventually, lead to divorce:

Replacing face time with screentime

“Instead of getting into bed and discussing how each other’s day was, couples instead often opt to be on social media. Instead of intimate moments and sweet or even romantic conversation (or behaviour), one partner is often fully engaged with friends, acquaintances or even followers during times that they would otherwise be growing and improving their marital relationship,” high-profile divorce lawyer Randall M. Kessler told Huffington Post. “Yes, affairs can be ignited via Facebook and emotional attachments and relationships can occur on social media and harm marriages, but we shouldn’t overlook the obvious. Put down your device, ask your spouse how their day was and listen. It might make a world of difference.”

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Hiding dishonesty online

“If you reconnect with long lost pals from high school or college and start having regular conversations without telling your spouse, that can create mystery and scepticism that something not kosher is going on,” lawyer, father, and husband Jason Levoy told Huffington Post. “Be open and honest with your spouse about your social network activities.”

Comparing your relationship to others on social media

“Any Facebook friend can dress to impress, take a selfie with their spouse, smile and post #DinnerDateNight. As you scroll your news feed and see so many seemingly perfect marriages, there is a natural tendency to compare your own relationship to the perceived perfection of another’s,” says Michael Aurit of the Aurit Divorce Meditation Center. “The weaknesses in your own marriage may become more obvious. Rather than allowing comparisons to fuel insecurity, channel that energy into something productive to deepen your own relationship.”