Tennis experts say Rafael Nadal is 'quite good'

Lots of highly-paid tennis experts have concluded that Rafael Nadal is 'quite good' at tennis after winning his eighth French Open title.

'He seemed to beat the others,' concluded one former British Number 1 (World Number 895). 'That has a lot to do with winning,' he revealed.

Others rushed to agree. 'He won the final,' said a British woman who never got beyond the first round in anything. 'And that can often mean that you've won the tournament - though I never did, of course.'

'When I was playing,' said another superannuated British player who has to make appalling adverts to make ends meet, 'which obviously wasn't for very long, I noticed that someone kept playing until they gave him a cup, at which point he stopped playing and looked happy.'

Following Nadal's win, and in preparation for Wimbledon, people are starting to get into the habit of referring to Andy Murray as 'Scot Andy Murray.'