Gaza War

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

This page is a WARZONE — It is highly unlikely that there are lulz between the e-bullets, but seasoned Æ veterans can be expected to clean it up once the retarded participants stop their editing... Ironic, ain't it?

The Gaza War is a mating ritual where Muzzie terrorist fanbois shoot combustible dildos over Israel, signaling to the IDF that its time to jam their kosher manmeat up their collective asses. Since last Thursday the Arabs in the Gaza Strip have been shooting rockets into Israel because the Jews have been blockading the region to stop the Arabs A) from shooting said rockets and/or B) getting food. It all came to a head when the Jews got bored of a temporary cease fire and decided to surprise buttsecks the Arabs and violated the region, killing about everyone. Seizing the opportunity, the Hamas camelfucker brigade decided to shoot their shitty fireworks, putting up a show for their muslim brothas so they placate them as anheroes. In return they would keep receiving handouts from the richer Ayrab oil countries, so they wouldn't have to get off their lazy sandnigger asses to do something remotely productive, Allah forbid. Much butthurt and BAWWWWWWW ensued and like with every tragic event in the news lately, so did the lulz.

How it all began

If you attend public school, you may not be aware why the joooz and the Chickpea people are fighting over such a shitty sandbox in the first place. Well, towards the end of WWII, Churchill, Stalin, Hitler and Satan were all thinking "OMGWTFBBW what are we going to do with all of these Jews?" Rather than say, intergrate them into their societies they decided to dump them all in their "ancestral homeland" or something. Well it turns out that when you do not live in a location for over a thousand years, other people have a tendency to mosey on down and setup shop. But seeing as these "other people" who setup shop were Muslims as well as dirty sandniggers, nobody really gave a damn as they'd probably only use the land to manufacture tents and camel shit.

For awhile all was calm until 2007 when Hamas decided to Rape the Palestinian authorities Fatah party and kicked them out of Gaza. It then proceeded to trollIsrael with rockets and blockade breaking, which is pretty weak ass shit as these rockets were about as dangerous as dongcopters. When asked why they were continuing to spamIsrael with ineffectual rocket attacks, Hamas leaders simply stated that they were doing it for the lulz. Unfortunately for Hamas though, Israel likes lulz too, and bombed Gaza back. Eventually, Jimmy Carter went over and met with Ham-ass terrorists, and tried to negotiate a cease-fire with Israel. Hamas pretended to keep their end of the deal while secretly digging a tunnel into Israel in order to capture a soldier and exchange him for terrorists in Israeli rapehouses. Too bad for them, Israel found out all about it. First, it sent some infantry and tanks and bulldozers to launch a surprise raid into Gaza, where they destroyed the tunnel and pwnt a terrorist. Hamas was not too happy, so they launched some mortars at the Jew invaders, but then Israeli jets bombed the mortar positions and blew up five more terrorists. Bawwww.

Hamas then began firing rockets into Israel again, which Israel responded to by bombing Gaza and killing one, that's right, just one pesky Shitslamist. Then, Hamas tried to raid Israel again, but IDF soldiers caught them trying to blow up the Israel-Gaza border fence, and killed three of them. But those pesky rockets would not stop, and since Israel's mission is to make Jews safe, it decided to attack Gaza and just finish them off.

Thus began their 2 week mission to kill as many Palestinian's as they can. With white napalm. Or at least smash as many windows as possible.

Israeli planes and gunboats and artillery guns began pounding Gaza, killing hundreds of Hamas fighters and human shields. Hamas stole all the aid Israel sent into Gaza for themselves, and did not help civilians or even let them flee, choosing instead to tape civvie suffering for world sympathy. All of the blood and corpses and destruction was displayed over and over again, and Jews who also die do not deserve all the attention anyway. The Israeli Navy also used their advanced missile boats to sink the entire Hamas navy (just a couple of rustbucket boats, no achievement there). Hamas reacted to the bombings by lobbing off some of their rockets and mortars, forgetting that they were the cause of this shit in the first place. They killed three innocent civilians and a soldier, and hoped that Israel would now be scared out of invading Gaza. Iran tried to join in on the fun and get more weapons into Gaza, so they organized a convoy to head from Sudan to Gaza filled with all kinds of fun toys for Hamas, but surprise surprise! Israel knew all about it, and sent a bunch of planes to bomb the shit out of it, blowing up all the weapons and killing everyone in it, including some Iranian Revolutionary Guards, causing major bawwwing in Sudan. Awesome.

Gaza gets raeped

Concerned that they were not killing the Muslims fast enough, the Jews decided that they should send the ground forces in, after turning Gaza into a smoking crater. They zerg rushed Hamas, leaving behind a pile of jizz stained corpses. Tragically, the IDF lost four soldiers to friendly fire, in a way very similar to what US troops liberatingKuwait and Iraq oil experienced. In fact, many Hamas faggots from their super-special Qassam Brigades ran the fuck away as IDF tanks rumbled in.

The Arab world reacted with its usual calm approach to things. France immediately demanded that both sides surrender, and when it became clear they would not, offered to do it themselves. France formalized its surrender to Israel both Israel and Hamas just to be on the safe side, and the French president visited Jerusalem and Gaza City to negotiate the final terms. The UN immediately failed to pass a resolution demanding immediate talks aimed at passing a resolution to discuss the crisis. This last, of course, accompanied by a non-stop barrage of liberal Hamas fantards on CNN and MSNBC begging the Jews to crawl back into the ovens.

"If foes decide to continue to fight against us, then we will be ready and we shall consider ourselves justified in replying."

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—Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert, speaking from the right side of afore-mentioned bed.

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"In the name of Allah, the merciful and most high, we successfully flattened the tire of a Zionist humvee, praise Allah. The Zionists should be warned that they have one week to flee Gaza or else, god willing, we shall flatten the other three tires on the humvee and attempt to blow it up with our horribly inaccurate RPG's".

„

—Supreme Leader Of Hamas.

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For its part, Israel said any effort to disrupt the ceasefire from now until doomsday on the part of Hamas will mean a resumption of the war. For now though, there is peace. But will it hold?

Israel said that it won because of the massive assrape it gave to Gaza, because it advanced deep into Gaza and Hamas couldn't do shit about it, and because only 13 Jews died, 4 of them accidentally killed by other Jews. Hamas said it won because it still could shoot off some rustbucket rockets at Israel by the end of the war, because not everyone of them was killed and not everything was destroyed, and because people who already hated Jews now hated Jews more. That's a funny kind of victory, don't you think?

Front Row Seats

Not content with just watching CNN and reading news articles about this little lovers quarrel? Want a little something MOAR? Well how about a front row seat to the action? Well that would be stupid, you would get hit by a rocket or some other Jew/Arab shit. Even better, now you can get all the violence of war right from you comfort and safety of your own home. Here are a bunch of links to various cameras streaming footage of the sandbox everyone seems so concerned with: