…and this is why you’ll probably ask yourself later, “Hmmm…why is she posting her resume’?”

I’ve worked with these people for nine heavenly years so they know me like a well-read-then-thoughtlessly-discarded-and-tossed-on-a-dusty-bookshelf-then-later-pulled-back-out-to-read-with-delight-again book.

It’s their own fault if they’re ever shocked, surprised or caught off guard.

Nothing should ever surprise them.

(Sweet Mother of Corporate America…come on! Nine years!)

Though I work in a professional atmosphere and there’s always suits roaming around looking all business-y and busy and like they’re thinking about golf, the following may or may not have been said in meetings or in my cubicle of maturity:

“Carrie, please say nothing and keep that ridiculous comment that we can read all over your smirky face to yourself.” (When the word ‘dongle’ was mentioned. And I still don’t know or care what it is. I just couldn’t help it though. Dongle? Really? That is the universe begging me to say something.)

“No. Nobody wants to feel how long the hair on your legs is.” (I was just simply trying to break the ice during a long lull of serious quietness. And some intense staring across the conference table.)

“We’re trying to start this meeting. Could you not have buttered your toast before now? And stop slurping that coffee. It can’t be that hot.” (I was hungry.)

“Can you please turn your radio down? We appreciate you know the words to Rappers Delight, but we’re trying to conduct a conference call in the next office.” (Sometimes I need a cubicle party. Pardon moi for trying to stay awake on your time.)

You get it.

Nine years of this. It’s their own fault.

They’re the ones who hired me. Not me.

Anyway.

Prior to entering my cubicle of maturity….here’s what they must pass by. So they know what they’re in for.

I’m simply doing THEM a favor:

Listen. I’m just trying to be a good corporate citizen so no one is caught off guard and fully prepared at all times.

(And you know that vacation sign stays up year ’round.)

(Because year ’round, I’m on vacation.)

(And they will all totally vouch for that.)

But now, let me tour you through the inside of my cubicle of maturity and you’ll see that there ARE co-workers who DO appreciate me and my display of competence:

One of those little love notes may or may not be from a vice-president.

So, there.

It may be nine long years for some of these fools, but there are some who seem to understand my mental status.

And appreciate it.

Anyway. Back to the possible need to update my resume.

An email was distributed to a group of us. About 12 folks on that email. Folks of all ranking. Senior vice-presidents, vice-presidents, management, admins, and then me.

It was asking if we all wanted to go out for lunch Thursday or would we rather have lunch brought in and eat at the office.

(We get to ditch this juke joint early on Thursday and the office is closed on Friday for the holiday.)

Hey, remember…if you want me to wake you up every time I spew something out into the universe here, just enter your email up there in the top right corner, where it says “email” (duh) and I’ll blow up your inbox with my wisdom.

Um yeah. Can’t wait to see what they have to say about that. I’m sure they are giggling. But what exactly is that one nice in your face, meanie in email chicka gonna say?regina recently posted..14 Summer Survival Tips for Slacker WAHMs

hahahaha Oh I remember all the “Reply to All” abusers, at least if they were FUNNY we may have appreciated some of those! I would LOVE to work with you, though we probably wouldn’t get much done! Either that or we would become so super efficient, getting 8 hours of work done in 1 hour, so we could focus the rest of the day on office pranks!Joy Christi recently posted..The 2nd Worst Garage Sale Of My LIFE

I NEED the sign that says: “Trying to understand the behavior of some people is like trying to smell the color 9.” NEEEEEED it. It would not only explain some of the people I come in contact with, it will also confuse the hell out of them too. 2 birds with 1 stone.

Well All i can sayis your company is damn lucky to have the funniest and cutest person like you workng for them. SO yeah its a favor haha..!! Crack me up as always…sorry darling i havent been as regular. motherhood has taken over and i promise to drop by more….hugsssssssss