2) Question: I found someone's iPhone in a shopping cart at the grocery store. Should I bring it home with me so I can try to figure out who it belongs to and return it to them?

Answer: That would be considerate of you, but make sure you act quickly before the police use the phone's GPS to locate it, and then kick in the door to your house and arrest you for possession of stolen property. (Press Democrat, A painful lesson: Don't pick up abandoned iPhone)

3) Question: I keep getting kidnapped and beaten by an Iraqi gang that wants to force me to film pornographic videos because of my astonishing resemblance to former Iraqi president Saddam Hussein. What am I supposed to do here?

2) Question: I found someone's iPhone in a shopping cart at the grocery store. Should I bring it home with me so I can try to figure out who it belongs to and return it to them?

Answer: That would be considerate of you, but make sure you act quickly before the police use the phone's GPS to locate it, and then kick in the door to your house and arrest you for possession of stolen property. (Press Democrat, A painful lesson: Don't pick up abandoned iPhone)

3) Question: I keep getting kidnapped and beaten by an Iraqi gang that wants to force me to film pornographic videos because of my astonishing resemblance to former Iraqi president Saddam Hussein. What am I supposed to do here?