~ 1000 Hearts Art

Category Archives: Inspirations

Last fall I had the privilege of taking Pueblo Pottery at the University of New Mexico with Professor Clarence Cruz. At the time I enrolled I anticipated that it would be a special class but I had no idea of the actual depth and the full extent of what we would learn. We started by going into the countryside and harvesting the clay from the earth.

A prayer and offering of thanks.

Before touching the earth we said a prayer of thanks and made an offering.

The clay was left in buckets of water to soften and prepare for the next step.

Professor Clarence stressed the importance of treating the earth with respect and reverence and so we were careful to leave the land as close to how it had been before we arrived. We carried out only what we thought we could use and carted it back to the studio to soak, strain, dry and prepare for use.

Different colored clays drying before we begin to use them.

The actual process of preparing the clay is quite elaborate and requires patience and time but the end results and satisfaction achieved by working so closely with the earth are worth it. While we allowed the clay to dry, we also ventured out to collect rocks to use as pigments on the clay. This too was quite a process and I will share more about this in my upcoming post.

As a child I had found this beautiful vein of clay running through our backyard in Costa Rica. I remember shoveling some of it up and while it was still moist my father and I sat around forming it into small pots and miniature fruit sculptures.

Although it seems quite logical, I was surprised to find the clay here is all dry due to the climate of course. It looks quite different in the earth and you can find one type of clay just feet away from another color. The diversity and richness of the land is something we seldom have time to fully experience but in doing so I think I have been able to be present with myself and the earth in a new way.

As I look at my very first oils from two years ago, I find myself reflecting on change, grief, letting go and then opening up to the present. What I imagined would happen during my move to New Mexico and what actually came to pass are very different. I both underestimated the challenge and the joy this whole process would bring.

Moving to New Mexico, with all its hype and “glamour” was also filled with grieving my past life and letting go of being near family and friends. More than anything, that classic dream of taking off and seeking your own fortune in “foreign” lands is not necessarily as easy as it sounds. Well, at least for me it was not. I had never lived further than two hours from my family and lacked the foresight, in spite of it appearing pretty obvious, to truly understand how different being 26 hours away (4 hours by plane) would feel.

The truth is that letting go of the past is the only thing that frees us to fully engage in the riches of the present.

Now, two years later, after spending a glorious week in Florida visiting friends and family and then returning home, I was caught by surprise by my own grief about having moved away. The strange thing about grief is that when you think you’re finally over it, something triggers it, and you can feel the exact same sadness you felt the very first day you were grieving, as if nothing has changed. The good news is that over time, these recurrences lessen and become shorter for most of us. The truth is that letting go of the past is the only thing that frees us to fully engage in the riches of the present.

-26/1000, oil on paper, 29″x21″, $150

By immersing myself in the things I love, like painting, I was able, in part, to paint my way through the process. So I enrolled into a painting class at the University of New Mexico and learned how to paint with oils.This was really the thing that pulled me out of my sadness over leaving home, getting back into art and into painting. It is impossible to paint without being present.

One of the things that has helped me the most with this is letting go of the old stories. We all have our stories about our lives…”oh poor me, I had to move away from home, or I only paint with acrylics, or I have this terrible job, or I have to (fill in the blank). So being present with what feelings bubble up is essential but letting go is equally so. Part of my learning to paint with oils did depend on my letting go of the comfort of using acrylics.

-25/1000, oil on paper, 21″x29″, $125

The funny thing about oils, is that unlike acrylics, which are synthetic, oils are organic and thus, their feel is much more organic as well. It is much more like working with clay in that way. Oils flow much more easily than acrylics and in a dry environment like New Mexico, that is definitely an advantage. There is a sheen to them that suggests life. And in part, by relishing in the beauty that oils bring into a painting, I was able to let go of the grief, open my eyes once again to the beauty around me and truly begin the adventure that has been New Mexico.

A memory that sticks with me to this day is when my grandfather shared with me that for him the most elevated form of painting was when you painted people. He elaborated by telling me that the most valuable thing one could communicate in a painting was human emotion. That if someone was able to feel or be moved by human expression, then your piece was a success. Even though I did not necessarily agree with him, his comments made a lasting impression. As I admired and still deeply value what my grandfather, Julio Montesinos, passed on to me, his words still echo in my mind to this day.

So with my grandfather’s sage advice in mind, I have attempted to paint several portraits over the years. It’s interesting posting images that I finished so long ago. It gives me both an appreciation of where I’ve been and how far I have come. This is my sweet niece Lydia when she was about three years old. I absolutely loved getting to paint her sweet face and trying to capture her wild and fresh spirit.

After that my friend Vera requested a portrait of Queen Esther.

23/1000, 16″x14″, acrylic on canvas

During my painting I class I got the opportunity to practice portraying the human form one more time when I painted a self portrait. Still much to learn in this arena but a fascinating process for sure. And in hindsight, after mulling over my grandfather’s sage advice for several decades and after taking on the challenge of capturing the human spirit on canvas myself, I can say that I do agree with what he was saying, at least in spirit. That if a piece of art can move a human being on a deep level, if it can open someone up in a way that everyday life fails to do, if it allows them to reach or see into their own soul in a deeper way, then you have aspired to the best that art can give.

It’s hard to believe that a year has gone by since my last post. Since then art has continued to happen but a lot of life too. Needless to say, after many things, including buying a new house, I am finally settling in and dreaming about painting again. Also, thanks to a dear friend, Laura, who recently started an awesome new blog, desertobservations, I am inspired to start posting again. There is a lot of catching up to do so I will be getting to the details soon.

However, the truth is life never happens as we planned, and for most of us, that is no longer news, ha! Not that I am making excuses, but it really takes a strong and focused resolve this day and age to stay on task. Especially when important stuff comes up like my sweet nephew Owen’s premature birth. I am happy to say Owen is now one and doing wonderfully and I am so glad I was able to just drop everything and be there for my brother and family. Then there are other fabulous distractions like Facebook, TV, dusting, yes I said dusting because living out here in New Mexico, I think I could fill my days with something as banal as that if I chose to.

However, there is also something that we tend to neglect and devalue in our culture and that is taking time to let things rest, mature, ferment, grow and develop. I have to say, that I have also taken this time to sit, meditate, journal and pray. It has not always been easy to accept this as an important part as my life, but I have never taken real time to do this at any other time. Thus, part of my absence from the blog was also by design.

Fortunately, since my last post I have taken two painting classes at UNM and private lessons with a fabulous teacher. I’ve learned so much and yet there is so far to go. I will soon be posting more about this and my fabulous teachers.

Now, I am feeling incredibly blessed to be taking Pueblo Pottery Materials with Clarence Cruz. This class could become a blog in itself. We have been traveling the state finding and processing clay and pigments. Finally we are starting to work on the pieces and there is a certain magic that happens when you work with clay that you have painstakingly dug out, wet down, strained, dried and wedged. But that story is for another day.

I’ve slowly been making my way through Julia Cameron’s 12 weeks of recovery in The Artists’ Way. This is an excellent book designed to help individuals from all walks of life, not just artists, reconnect with their creativity. The truth is that we are all born creative and at some point, usually during our childhood, lose touch with that inner spark.

Now as I start my new painting, which is focused on the concept of going deeper within, it seems apropos that I also begin my week of “reading deprivation”.

The rose is the path, the door, and the crow leads you there, into the depths of the your soul. Have you the courage to enter?

A week without reading means more time to be available to what is really going on inside. What have I been avoiding or ignoring by filling my time with distractions? That space is where the real stuff happens. That is how we get to know ourselves.

Art lies in the moment of encounter: we meet our truth and we meet ourselves; we meet ourselves and we meet our self-expression. -Julia Cameron

In order to relate to your environment and capture your innocent thoughts or visions, you need to listen, observe and stay centered. This capacity to linger in the unknown and see what happens is the passage to your creative self. -Gail McKeekin

It is so easy to get pulled into the everyday busyness of doing that we lose touch with our inner compass and consequently our ability to connect in full with the world around us. I have been busy preparing for the upcoming Holiday Open Studio at McCracken Pottery, where I have been renting my studio space. Daily meditation and my long walks out in this incredible mountain desert of New Mexico are what have been keeping me grounded amidst the flurry of activity.

As I have been creating pieces every day and am also participating in Art Every Day Month, I have been taking more photos of my work. However, I will not be posting them all on this blog but rather on my instagram account under #1000heartsart (this wonderful idea came from, Jennifer Lee of Artizen Art Coaching).

You will learn to enjoy the process… and to surrender your need to control the result. You will discover the joy of practicing your creativity. The process, not the product, will become your focus. -Julia Cameron

After seeing this quote posted on facebook by Jeane, of High Road Artist, I started thinking how it would have been impossible for me to ever get any paintings or ceramics done if I had held onto my perfectionistic tendencies while working on my art. As a matter of fact, part of what stimulates my imagination and informs my art is the very imperfection of nature.

However, it is easy to lose sight of that and as Jeane posted on High Road Artists’ page on facebook, surrendering the need to control “goes against the grain of our product-driven culture”.

This need to make something perfect certainly played into my taking so long to coming around back to doing art. The very act of allowing myself to relax and let go of outcome is what has allowed me to make anything at all. After finally getting going I noticed that the first few paintings I made before I really started to let go and allow things to happen, were really about my flowing with the process and not forcing an outcome. After my first few “bad” paintings, really beautiful things started to happen. I have had the same experience when using other mediums; easily the first one or two attempts to do anything come out poorly or just ok. If I just ease up on any pressure I am putting on myself and give it second or third try, magical things usually start to happen.

This magic of art is in its imperfection or as the Japanese call it wabi-sabi. Art’s true beauty, as in nature, lies within its asymmetry and perceived flaws. Jeane talks about this more in her article, Centinela Traditional Arts, Part 2, where she discusses Irvin Trujillo’s view that imperfection is what gives art its soul.

Every time I start a piece and every time I finish one I have to remind myself to let go of my own expectations so that I can see what is truly there. I hope that in my relaxing and letting things flow, as I give shape to a piece of clay, or place my brush on the canvas, that I infuse the piece with soul and life by allowing it to be perfectly imperfect.

This is the amazing view I get to wake up to in the mornings. New Mexico truly is a gloriously beautiful place full of skies, light and color. I often gaze at these mountains and hear them calling. My husband and I have started hiking around them and even have begun to practice our ascent of these 10,000 foot peaks. As our Florida lungs have begun to acclimate since our arrival, we were able to make it over half of the way up to the crest last weekend. When we reached our stopping point, I took my hiking shoes off so that I could feel the loose gravel which we had been plodding over for the last odd hours between my toes. Something about being here among these mountains and high desert soil is making me long to place my fingers in the clay and play. I could not resist this call which is why I have started to work on pottery again and will be signing up for studio space soon. I have a few pieces partially completed and am looking forward to posting some of my new interpretations of the Heart soon. Thus 1000 Heart Paintings has now been transformed into 1000 Hearts Art.

One of my dearest inspirations and role models is my uncle Julio. I remember about twenty to thirty years ago he quit his day job as an architect and devoted himself full-time to painting. He has been painting ever since and actually making a living from his art. I had the opportunity to Skype with him the other night, as he lives in Cuenca, Ecuador, and we were discussing my upcoming show and my plan to paint 1000 paintings. He mentioned that he has been numbering his pieces for a while now and is at about #800. That is when the realization hit me of what 1000 paintings really means and thought “what have I gotten myself into?”. It is a life’s work! But that is what I want after all. So here I am, preparing for the show and happy to say I am at #18.

My upcoming show will be on Thursday, April 28th at Wild Iris Books from 5:00 pm til closing. Hope to see you there!

After a recent red paint spill on my white carpet, and in light of the warming weather, I have decided to take my studio outdoors. Aside from enjoying this gorgeous early spring, I have developed a steady fan club of two, Diego my maltese, and Tico, his brother.

Currently I am preparing for my first solo show which will be taking place towards the end of april at Wild Iris Books in Gainesville, FL. http://blog.wildirisbooks.com/

Exact date and details soon to come. In the meantime, I am painting away and will not be posting as many of my pieces until after the show. Want to save a few suprises.

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"After much thought and debate, I decided to take 2011 off to focus on several different things my heart has been longing to do for a long time. One of these passions is painting and pottery and so, my 100 Hearts Series, though far from finished, has turned into 1000 Hearts, which really includes not only literal interpretations of the heart, but all forms of its expression." -Sylvia