Entry 53 cont'd
I was examined by a doctor, who recommended that I be seen by the psychiatrist. We waited a while longer while a nurse stood close by, I guess she was keeping an eye on me in case I flipped out.
Ma made several calls and I heard her making hotel reservations. She told me that she was going to get me, Tiffany, CoCo and my nephew out of the country as soon as possible.
"This world is insane. Who would do such a thing to you? Who?" She asked, but I knew she didn't expect an answer. The same question had been going through my brain, too. It had happened so fast, and it seemed so deliberate. What if I had been sitting in the car? Chrissy would have been sitting right next to me. Either one of us could have been hurt, or worse.
After the psychiatrist tried his hand at speaking with me, he recommended that they keep me overnight for observation. Ma called Daddy, then she told me that he'd be there shortly.
She asked me if I wanted her to call Trey. I did, but I couldn't tell her. She had sense enough to call him anyway.
She explained what had happened and that we were at the hospital. I heard her telling him to calm down, in her motherly way. She told him that I wasn't physically hurt, but that I was probably in shock, according to the doctors. She told him where we were and then she held the phone to my ear.
Trey told me that he was coming to straight to me, that he'd see me in a few minutes. I couldn't respond. I just felt tired.
Ma helped me stand up and she made sure that I was comfortable on the bed. The police officers poked their heads in to see if I was alright. Ma told them that I was still unable to talk, and that I seemed to need some rest.
"Let us know when she's ready to talk." One of them told Ma. The nurse came back in to get some information from Ma. They stepped out of the room. I closed my eyes.
When I opened them again, Trey was sitting by my bed. He was holding his head in his hands. I reached over to nudge him. He sat up right away.

Entry 53 cont'd
The whole day went crazy from there. My parents were called and they met us at the precinct. Daddy was outraged when he found out what had happened. Ma held me close and rocked me. She kept asking me questions but I couldn't speak. It was as if the words didn't want to come out. All I could do was think about how I'd just witnessed a man try to kill me.
The police had caught the guy and he was being interrogated. So were Eric and Charles. Our family lawyer, Lia Turner, was there too. My phone was going off like an alarm clock, but I didn't answer it. Ma took it from me and she politely told whoever it was that I was unable to talk at the moment. She told me that she would hold on to my phone.
The police wanted to question me since I'd seen what had happened, but what ever I said must not have made much sense because I saw the officer furrow her brow and she told Ma that I should probably see a doctor.
The next thing I knew, I was being led from the precinct, out to a squad car. I felt myself getting weak and really all I wanted to do was drift off into a long, blank sleep.
I could here the police siren blare as we sped off. I had to be held up by Ma and a police officer as we walked through the emergency room. The officers went up to the nurse's station and spoke. The next thing I knew, I was being seated in a wheel chair, then rolled through a doorway.
A nurse was asking me if I felt alright, was I in any pain, had I taken any medication today. I didn't answer her. I heard Ma tell her that I'd been that way for the last half hour. The nurse nodded. She checked my pupils and my vitals and then she told me that I could sit on the hospital bed. I didn't want to move. The nurse said that a doctor would be in to see us in a few minutes.
Ma closed the door and then she gave me a tight hug. I think that she was trying to hold in her tears. I wanted to comfort her, but I couldn't move or speak.
"This is it. We're leaving town, tonight!" She said.

OMG!!! I think Jasmine is behind this. Trey is going to flip! No Essence fam about to go nuts. It's about to be a show down. I hope Essence stick with Trey because if it was me that may be the end . Somebody trying to take her out and this is not cool.

Entry 53
I got the weirdest message today at work. The receptionist said that someone from Trey's camp called to tell me to meet Trey on the corner of 24th and Sixth in ten minutes.
"That's all they said." The receptionist looked at me with big eyes.
"Was it it a guy or a girl?" I asked. My gut was telling me that no one on Trey's team would leave me a message like that.
"It could have been a guy, but I don't know." She said.
"Thanks." I went back to my office to call Trey. He couldn't talk because he was about to go in for a meeting with the people from Kodak.
I knew that the message was bogus, but who could have left it? I called his assistant. She knew nothing about the message. I called Eric and Charles and told them to pull the car around to the corner of 24th and Sixth. I told them to send Chrissy up to my office.
When she arrived, I told my boss that I'd be gone for a few minutes. I was going to go down to 24th and Sixth, but stand across the street to see what was going on.
Chrissy kept her eyes peeled on the people walking by us, while I watched as a guy in a dark colored outfit walked over to my car. For no reason at all, he pulled out a gun and fired two shots into the backseat. He ran away from the car as Charles and Eric jumped out of the car with their guns drawn. There was commotion in the street and a good Samaritan chased the guy down the block. Eric and Charles were close behind. Chrissy pulled out her phone and called 911. She gave a brief description of what had happened and she also told them about Charles and Eric, who were pursuing the gunman.
Chrissy and I were instructed to stay put and a minute later we heard police car sirens in the distance. A police car stopped in front of us and an officer asked if we'd just called 911.
I was so in shock that I couldn't speak, but Chrissy gave a detailed account of what had just happened.
I remembered being asked questions, but I don't remember if I answered them. I remember being led to the squad car.

Entry 52 cont'd
Eric and I began to walk over to where Trey was, but as we did, the crowd got bigger and bigger. By the time we got to him, Eric had to lend a hand in keeping the crowd from smothering Trey. I tried to stay off to the side but, Trey's assistant told me to get behind Trey and stay as close to him as possible.
Trey was posing with two fans so I stood out of the way. One of the girls turned around and saw me.
"Essence!" She squealed.
"Oh my gosh, Essence, get in the picture with us!" The other girl shouted. She made room for me to stand in between herself and Trey.
Trey grinned at me as I stepped beside him and put my arm around his waist. He hugged me and the girl close to him and the picture was taken.
After that, we tried to make our way over to the waiting cars, but more fans wanted autographs and pictures. I tried to stay out of the light as much as possible, but they also wanted to take pictures of me as well.
One lady gushed that she knew we wouldn't break up, and she was glad that our true love beat out what the media was saying about our relationship. She wanted to get a picture of Trey and me by ourselves. We wrapped our arms around each other and waited for her to take her picture.
"Kiss." She told us. I was surprised at the request. More people chimed in.
"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"
Trey and I kissed and the crowd showed their appreciation.
"Okay, we have to go now! That's it! We're going. Now!" Trey's assistant said. She waved her arms in a sweeping motion, and the crowd actually moved back.
Trey and I were able to make it to his truck. We got in and watched as the crowd tried to follow us. After a few minutes of just standing there watching while Trey's team loaded another truck with luggage and other bags, the crowd realized that the show was over, and they went on about their business.
Trey loved every moment of it. He snuggled onto my shoulder and yawned. He said that he was going to sleep for the next two days.
I'll be right next to him.

Entry 52 cont'd
I told Trey that when he got back to New York I was going to kidnap him and keep him held hostage from the world for a month or two.
"You're going to have to put work, your fans and your music on hold for a while. I need to have you all to myself." I told him.
He thought that I was joking, but I wasn't. I just feel like taking him away from all of it. I know it makes me sound crazy and obsessed to the max, but I don't care. I'm tired of sharing him with his career. I just feel like being extra selfish, and not giving a damn about it.
When I told him my thoughts, he told me that I needed to relax.
"Oh, we're going to relax. I'm going to take you someplace far, yet beautiful, and we're going to totally shut out the outside world. No phones, no internet, nothing." I said.
He asked me if I'd been sipping on the bottle of moonshine I got from my cousin in Louisiana.
"I'm not crazy, Trey. Just fed up." I said.
"Aye, look...I'ma do what I can to get them to leave you alone, alright?" Trey said.
Those were the best words I'd heard all day. I saw the sincerity in his eyes and it made my heart melt. I love my man so much.
"Baby, I'm sorry for not calling you last night. You're right. I could have given you a heads up so that you would have been the first to know about me hanging out with Marco. You know I wouldn't do something as shady as cheat on you right in public." I hoped he could see the sincerity in my eyes too.
He told me that he was over it. He asked me if I'd be at JFK to pick him up. I told him that I would be. We blew each other kisses and I couldn't wait to get the real thing.
Eric and I got to the airport at around six fifteen. We parked in the cell phone lot and I was about to call Trey to ask where to meet him when these two girls rushed past us. One was pulling the other.
"Come on, Trey Songz is over there." She was saying.
I looked in the direction they were going and sure enough, my baby was right there, patiently signing autographs.

Entry 52 cont'd
Trey looked at me as if he wanted me to give the answer.
"You're mad at me for having a life. My whole world revolves around you. I love you, so I take the good with the bad, but come on. I take one night off to just be me, ME - Essence. Not 'Trey's Girl'. Not 'That Bitch', 'That Whore', 'That Wanna Be Celeb.' I go out as myself and even that's causing problems. So now what? You wanna break up? People already think we have anyway!" I almost threw my phone on the ground. I held it up so that I could look him right in his face when he delivered that final crushing blow.
Trey just smirked and told me that I was over reacting, as usual.
"I should break up wit yo ass for yellin at me." He said.
"Something has to give, Trey. I'm tired of this. I know you can't stop being Trey Songz, but you have to find a way to control all of this." I told him.
"Control what? The media?" He asked.
"Control everybody. Your fans, the media, all of them. I mean, just tell them to leave me alone. I already have enough to deal with. That shit with Jasmine still isn't over yet. I have to get through that, I have to work, Daddy's still on me to take over his business. I just can't put up with having no privacy in my life right now." I raked my hand through my hair in frustration.
Trey's voice softened when he asked me if I didn't think he understood. He told me that he goes through it just like I do. He said he gets judged worse than I do.
"The haters who want us to break up are always gon have something to say no matter who I'm with. I'm not concerned with all that right now. I'm concerned about my real fans and whether they like my music. The real fans and the Angels don't worry about who I'm in a relationship with." He said.
"Some of them do." I'd read some comments from die hard fans and Angels who still can't stand the thought of Trey being with anyone. They've even said that they get jealous when it comes to Trey's love life.
Will this craziness never stop?

Entry 52 cont'd
Trey said he wasn't mad, but all of a sudden he became very interested in what one of his little cousins was doing. The little boy was walking around the room with a snorkeling device in his mouth. He told Trey that he was going to try to pick up the change at the bottom of the pool. I smiled along with Trey, and I asked how did the change get in the pool. I had to ask twice while Trey was helping his cousin adjust the strap on his mask.
Trey told me that some how one of the younger kids had tossed a pair of jeans into the pool and everything in the pockets had fallen out.
He began to laugh as his cousin lost his footing and tripped while trying to walk with flippers on.
"You sure you didn't drink too much and fall into the pool with all of your clothes on?" I asked in a joking way. Trey wasn't smiling.
"I don't drink and do stupid shit. That's what you do." He said.
I felt like I'd just gotten slapped. Hell, a slap would have felt better.
"Did you just call me stupid?" I asked in disbelief.
"Did I? Tell me what I said." Trey said. He did look mad at that point.
"Don't let me start name calling." I said. I was angry, too.
"If you was still mad about the pictures, you shoulda told me. You lied to me." Trey stated.
"When did I lie to you?" I asked.
Trey went in on how I had told him that I wasn't mad about the pics of him and Jess, but to get back at him, I went out with Marco, and even if it hadn't been a date, I knew what it would look like, and I didn't care.
So I went in on him and said that maybe it was his guilty conscience making him feel that way because no matter what I did last night, those pics of him and Jess looked ten times worse. And I told him not to call me a liar, because I hadn't been mad at him over those pics.
He glared at me on the screen. I met his look with one of my own, and for a minute we didn't speak. All kinds of thoughts ran through my head, as I know they were running through his head, too.
"So now, what?" I asked.

Entry 52 cont'd
Trey and I had our conversation via iphone. He looked so cute on that little screen. I couldn't help smiling at him.
"Heard any juicy gossip, lately?" I asked as a way to start things off.
"I heard a lotta things." He replied.
I knew that things were going to be awkward, and I just wanted to get it over with, so I took the direct approach.
"Listen, Trey, I didn't sleep with Marco last night. We only danced at the club, then he made sure I got home alright. I gave him a hug, not a kiss, in the lobby. Then he left, and I went upstairs. If you heard anything different, it's all just rumors." I told him in a long gush.
"Were you drinking last night?" Trey asked me.
"I barely finished my second drink, but why do you ask?"
The look on his face was serious, but he kept his tone light.
"I just wanted to know. Strange things happen to you when you go out and drink." He said.
"As if you need to remind me." I said. Of course the events that happened in the past weeks are still fresh in my mind.
"I wasn't wildin' out last night. I just hung out with my friends, we had a good time, and this time I made it back home safe and sound." I said.
Trey told me that all day people kept calling him, asking if he and I were through. He said that people were sending out tweets about his new found freedom and offering him their shoulders to lean on.
I hadn't been on my computer because I already had a feeling about what everyone would be saying, and I really hadn't wanted to know. But I hadn't stopped to think about what Trey might be feeling or dealing with, concerning the rumors. How could I have been so stupid?
"I know they were offering more than just their shoulders, but anyway, I'm sorry I didn't call you first thing this morning to give you the heads up." I told him.
"You shoulda called me last night. But you had fun though, right?" I sensed the slightest hint of annoyance in Trey's voice, and the look on his face wasn't exactly a happy one.
"Are you mad at me?"

Entry 52 cont'd
I knew that I wasn't going to win that argument with them, so I assured them that the next time I go out, I'll call one of them. Standing there yelling about how much I want to be regarded as an adult made me feel as far from one as ever.
Eric made a good point when he said that the only person I should be worried about needing protection from is Trey.
I hadn't spoken to him yet, and in a way, I was actually dreading doing so. Even though a secret part of me wanted him to wonder if the rumors were true, the bigger part of me was a little nervous about what he was going to say. And do.
I told them that if I was going to cheat on Trey, I'd be smart enough to be as discreet as possible. Charles still thought that if one of them had been with me, it wouldn't have looked so much like I was on a date. He gave me a hug though and we dropped the subject.
We got back in the car and went to run my errands. Trey was going to be home in a few hours and I wanted to get a mani/pedi and my hair done.
While we drove, I sent Trey a text that said. "Hi, Honey." I waited for a full minute and a half before I received his text. "Darling."
I couldn't tell if he meant it, or if he was being sarcastic. I sent another text.
"Sugar Pie." He returned, "Honey Bunch."
That let me know that he was in a good mood, but I couldn't tell if he'd heard about the rumors yet, and if he hadn't I didn't want to be the first to tell him. I know that I hadn't done anything wrong, but I was starting realize that things might look a whole lot shadier from Trey's point of view.
When the next text came in, I knew that he knew.
"Had fun last night?"
"Oh boy." I murmured. My hands got moist as I returned the text.
"Can't complain. Did you?" Ok, so I was avoiding the issue. A conversation like that can't be had through texts. I needed to see his face.
He must have felt the same because his next text asked me if I could talk.
"In the car with the bg's."
"Call me wen ur alone."
I felt a bit uneasy.

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