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Thursday, January 29, 2009

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Ok, sure: this first communion cake is atrocious. (Is the dove molting? And why are there more choking hazards on this - something a child is supposed to eat - than in your average Lego set?)

Still, you have to admire the wreckerator's tenacity in scrawling the inscription right over the plastic flotsam. That, my friends, is commitment! No namby-pamby dashes, squished text, or downward spirals here, no sir! This baker does not deviate, does not falter! S/he trudges onward even in the face of crippling ridicule, turning a deaf ear to nay-sayers, a blind eye to the warning signs of impending disaster, a numb hand to the piping bag, a stuffed-up nose to the smell of burning batter, and an insensate tongue to the bitter dregs of defeat!!

[sits back down]

Ok, so maybe I was reaching a little with that metaphor. I thought I was doing well until the "burning batter" bit, though. [taps teeth with pen] Huh.

Still, I think we can all learn something here. Something about perseverance, something about throwing caution to the wind, something about...oh, I dunno... picking the cake up more than 30 minutes before the party starts? [nodding] Yeah, that, too.

Note: Since I get asked a lot, many of you will no doubt be relieved to learn that Wreckporter Holly later received a full refund. You'll remember that more-than-30-minutes-beforehand thing next time, right, Holly? :)

What's a pen? I get that it has something to do with what you typed. Is it some kind of new data input device, like an ultra ergonomic keyboard? Or is one of those old-timey things you sometimes talk about, like the rotary clock thingy? I swear, sometimes it’s like you codgers are speaking another language.

Are you aware that you have a scientology add under this cake wreak? It would be funny if I didn't think that scientology is one of the worst cult and destrying lives in the name of profit. I understand that you probably do not have any input on what kind of add is put in your blog but I would look into that.

I'm going to assume the wreckorator is not Catholic, nor are they familiar with catholicism in any way. It would explain why the rosary was balled up in a corner though. Almost any other arrangement of the flotsam would have allowed room for the "Congratulations Julia" (hey! at least it was spelled correctly!)

And Laura Beth, the dove is a symbol of the Holy Spirit and it ties into the consecration of the host.

I am so glad that the previous commenters cleared up that the pile of round balls in the upper left corner is a rosary... I was really beginning to wonder. Maybe has to do with the shear loudness of the cake.

I can imagine the phone call to the bakery . . ."yeah, we got all kinds of religious pieces we can decorate the cake with, rosaries, bibles, you name it we've probably got it and what we don't have we'll just make with icing. Don't worry, it will be less 'congratulatory' and more religious we promise."

I can't remember if I had a First Communion cake, but if I had had this one I know I would have remembered it!

After looking at this cake I feel like I need to go back to teaching at that Catholic school to expiate my sins. And to pray for the same for the last minute addition of poor penmanship in horrid green icing across the body and blood of Christ. No, wait, scratch that. The chalice is plastic. I'll just stay out of lightning's way for the rest of the day and call it even. ;)

I have to admit - whenever I feel tempted to eat cake, I just take a gander to your site to see what the latest cake wreck is ... HEY! You should create the Cake Wrecks Diet! :) You could make a ton of money! I should know - I'm approaching 100 lbs lost! lol

I actually thought it was the wreckerator trying to be clever by putting the "t" in congratulations as a cross on the chalice. I mean, it seems sorta tacky to me, but I'm Jewish, so I have no idea what would be tacky in a communion cake. Turns out that tacky is as tacky does, and religion doesn't enter into it...

I was raised Catholic (but it did not stick. I sure did not get a cake for my First Communion, which was probably a good thing judging by this cake. I had to do a second look at the Rosary as it sure looks like a pile of fish eggs stacked above a cross. That tiny dove is making a big mess, for sure. But the best is the writing which just cruises along despite all obstacles. Thanks for the morning giggles.

I'm glad some of the people here cleared some things up for me. I, too, thought that the rosary was a bunch of grapes. I thought that the dove and wafer were a pineapple. Maybe it was the lemony yellow of the frosting that turned me down the path of contemplating fruit possibilities? Maybe it's because I'm Lutheran...

I think that stuff around the dove is probably supposed to be the rays of light you often see in such an image.

Unfortunately, what it looks like to me is that the dove is vigorously dipping a cookie into a glass - er, chalice - of milk, and the milk is then splashing cheerfully out.

And I kind of hope the wafer really is plastic. I was raised Episcopalian, and even though I'm pretty much agnostic now, I find the concept of eating a fake wafer on a cake to be somehow vaguely wrong, approaching creepy. Not sure why, I just know that if I were eating this cake, I'd feel much happier having the wafer (and chalice) removed first even if they weren't plastic. Oh, and that goes for the Bible, too, and if I'd been raised Catholic, I suspect I'd have the same feeling about the rosary beads.

I'm glad some of the people here cleared some things up for me. I, too, thought that the rosary was a bunch of grapes. I thought that the dove and wafer were a pineapple. Maybe it was the lemony yellow of the frosting that turned me down the path of contemplating fruit possibilities? Maybe it's because I'm Lutheran...

Yeah, the word "holy" also came to my mind as well! I am an oft lurker, but this one "called" to me! What a mess! The rosary curled up in the corner had me laughing out loud, and the writing across the chalice, just about made me change my pants. Thanks for the laughs!

Aw, I wonder if Julia was thrilled.Maybe egg yoke yellow is her favorite color--it's not unthinkable. ((gaughhh))So, curiosity got the best of me, and I Googled "First Communion Party Goods," and Lo and Behold: site upon plastic-overload site of everything one could imagine, and plenty of stuff you'd never imagine (or want to), as well. They've got bibles & crosses confetti (pink & blue AND gold & silver options),"jewelery" (not making this up, SHOT GLASS gel candle favors, and even a gategory called, "What's HOT for 2009," which includes my personal favorite: "Green Floral Pattern with Cross Design Personalized Iced Cappuccino Favors." (you're a BIG GIRL, now, Julia!)Catholics have all the fun.

soooo, what would a good first communion cake look like? maybe just congratulations and a little chalice in the corner? Maybe just congratulatons.

maybe I'm just more willing than the wreckerator to accept my lack of creativity, but I can't really see how you could make a spectacular first communion cake. surely better than this, but not really great like some of Jen's Sunday Sweets.

Am I just missing it? What would make a truly awesome first communion cake?

The stuff around the dove is the power of the holy spirit, which the dove represents. Like in this artwork of the HS http://www.catholicfaithandreason.org/dove.jpg

Wow, there's 12 years of Catholic school working for me. I knew it would come in handy someday. Luckily I attended in the post-beatings days. When I got to college I took off Catholicism like a coat, dropped it on the floor, and walked away.

I think the chalice and host are actually chocolate, with the chocolate chalice sprayed gold. Chocolate or sugar chalices and hosts are commercially available for this purpose, and I've never seen a plastic one.

No one has yet mentioned how out of proportion everything is. The host is huge in proportion to the chalice, and the dove and the bible are positively minescule. I too did a double take on the whole rosary thing. I thought it was tapioca.

I can hear the thoughts..."Over the chalice? Around the chalice? Under the chalice? What to do what to do... Cant scrawl across the host, oh the dilemma... Over the chalice we go... is that Julia with two l's??..."

Okay this is a first for me but I actually really like this cake. There is something really innocent and endearing about this failed cake. I like the colors and the composition, and It kind of reminds me of the holy grail. Is that what it is? the holy grail?

I voted for you! I've just discovered your blog (I was looking for cake ideas! LOL!) and I must thank you for turning my day at work from a dreary into a great day! I can't stop laughing and my co-workers are starting to wonder if I've completely lost it! LOL!

Two comments for this one,none of which have to do with the, erm, "lovely" writing.1: Did anyone else immediately think of Monty Python when they saw the grail? (Okay, I may go to hell for that one...)2: I had the same type of plastic rosary on my communion cake...and the same thought went through my head about the choking!

If this thing is supposed to be a kit, with a template, where the heck do they EXPECT you to write "Congratulations"? There's no space! especially not with the dove taking a bath or dunking the host or whatever it looks like he's doing.

The bible looks so lonely floating in space.

the pile o' pearls (rosary)'s placement redemption is that at least there will be less icing to try to clean off those little beads since it's sitting in a pile instead of elegantly "draped" all over the cake (and icing). ick. messy.

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