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1. Does anyone prefer certain things with certain partners?
2. Does anyone have more sex with one partner over another?
3. Does anyone in a "V" have threesomes with their partners?

I will be honest here, there are just certain things that I can do with my female partner that I can't with my husband (I'm sure you can understand why ) just as there are things I can do with him I cant do with her...I'm going to go out on a limb and say it's just the mechanics coming into action here but hey, you never know?! As for threesomes in the "V", when my husband and I were in our relationship with our love we usually all three were together and most of our sex was in the form of a threesome but that is how we all liked it and to be honest about it we had a lot of fun trying to find new and exciting ways to keep things interesting. But I will say that we did have our times when there was only 2 of us because we all knew that we wanted and yes, needed our one on one time with each other. I knew that he needed his time with her just as he knew I needed my time with her as well and she knew the 2 of us needed our time alone. But we did prefer our all together time!!!

__________________There is no life without freedom, the freedom to be who and what you are.

Currently, it's just the two of us, but I'll answer on our most recent V

1. Does anyone prefer certain things with certain partners?
Yes. Everyone has their strengths in the bedroom. My husband is not a kissy-cuddly sort of guy, my OSO was very much so. He and I could spend ages just cuddling and kissing, which is something that is very rare with my hubby.

2. Does anyone have more sex with one partner over another?
In our set up, hubby and I did have more sex than I had with OSO... it was purely logistics. OSO preferred to maintain a seperate household, and had other commitments outside of our V, so he wasn't around as much as my hubby is.

3. Does anyone in a "V" have threesomes with their partners?
Yes. Our V would occasionally have threesomes instead of one on one encounters. It worked for us.

Here's my question: Does any one have a "cooling off" period between sex with different partners? This question was put forward to me by a mono friend that I recently told. She was confused that I couldn't share a glass with someone and kind of considers our "V" to be the ultimate form of "double dipping".

I have no problems with when or how often Redpeper and her husband have sex.

My tendency is (or would be, since I'm presently only invoved with my one partner, Kevin) to choose only to have sexual intimacy with a person who I know to only choose partners who are properly cautious about germs and viruses, etc. My tendency is equally to choose partners who don't take sexuality as a triviality or casual plaything which doesn't include the emotional and spiritual aspect of our beings. Germs don't have to be present to turn me off! I'm turned of by "double dipping" into spiritually ungrounded sexuality. That is, sex without deep heart connecting.

1. Does anyone prefer certain things with certain partners?
2. Does anyone have more sex with one partner over another?
3. Does anyone in a "V" have threesomes with their partners?

I can only answer for the one V I've had. Time and experience may change things.

1-Yes. But N is a man and P was a woman, so most of that's just logical. Though P was much more cuddly and N could sometimes be more aggressive depending on my current mood and preference.

2-N and I had more sex. P lived separately and also had her own male partner. But when she and I were together things were very steamy.

3-The closest we ever came to a threesome was the two of them stripping me down and teasing me until I was near tears. Neither of them was naked nor touched eachother nor was there any sex (oral or otherwise). I don't know that I could do the threesome thing, though it is a fantasy. But the fantasy of sharing my husband with another woman and the reality is a whole other deal. He knows he could never share me physically with another man and we respect eachother on that front. However, with P, we were considering the idea of a triad. I don't know that it could happen, but it would have to be the absolutely right woman for me to consider it.

Mono-As far as a cool down period, P lived separately and I was over her house whenever we had sex. I came home showered the next day. But kissing, touching, holding, etc. happened pretty much when it happened, if we were all together or not. So there usually wasn't a cool down between that. They liked it that way as they were good friends and loved to make me crazy. Good old days. *sigh* Sad now.

1. Yes, my two loves (both women) are built a little different anatomically, are wired differently emotionally and prefer different things in the bedroom.
2. As could be expected, my wife of 27 years has a little different sex drive than I do(hence me poly).....and my OSO (other lifelove) is reveling in the NRE and love life she now has after an essentially sexless/loveless marriage of 30 years, so her drive is higher than my wife's.
3. We do not have a threesome. Both women are hetero, monogomous with me only and unlike most poly guys, I'm not really driven by group sex with multiple women and don't feel compelled to pressure either of them into it.

As for a cooling off period, my wife def has one, though it's lessening, my OSO not. I don't have one either.

As for noise, my wife and I have been rather quiet for 20 years with kids sleeping upstairs above us. Now that they are out of the house, less so. My OSO is more vocal and I find I am more vocal around her. Since we all live together, out of respect for my wife and elderly mother, we try to maitain some decorum. I would love if we never had to stifle our passion/ emotion in that way.