My first Topic: Hipsters, fuck em
Tuesday, Sep 6 2011

First of all just want to introduce myself to Perly J’s already established fan based. Perly and I were introduced by our mutual friend Jason who is standing next to me in the picture in the Indiana hoop jersey. Jason is a Jew like us but is also 50% Mexican. Even though he looks like an Aryan and can practically dunk a basketball (not a traditional Jewish trait) he still loves lox on his bagel and extra salsa on his quesadilla… but thats neither here nor there.

My first topic I want to discuss is mother fucking hipsters. Obviously the rest of America clowns these dudes as they stick out more than a boner in sweatpants. However it is kind of hard to give a solid definition of a hipster but I feel that I came up with a good one: They try their hardest to appear as gay as possible without being gay at all. They want people to look at them and ask themselves “Are they gay”? If we ask ourselves that question then the hipsters win. We all have to rise above this fucking rubbish. The average hipster loves coffee shops, but hates Starbucks. They most likely support Palestine, do not eat meat, get fucked up haircuts, silly ass tattoos, but do have some fine hipster chicks. A hipster chick can be very attractive and posess natural beauty but once they throw on those old rich man plastic rim glasses that Andy Garcia rocked in Ocean’s 11 she instantly goes from acceptable to a chick who recieves dick from a dude who looks like he fucks other dudes but in reality does not do that whatsoever. Reread that sentence one more time and it should make sense.

This rant might seem angry, one-sided and a bit narrowminded but fuck you. Expect that shit. This is Perly Ains and we ain’t playin no games!