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So my brother got everyone a gag DVD for Christmas, but perhaps what he was not prepared for was my sister and me both thinking our gifts were seriously awesome things we would have purchased for ourselves.

YES

I dare someone to tell me what is not awesome about a dramatic owl movie. Sister = defended.

I realize The Situation (and the Jersey Shore as a whole sloppy unit) is a bit harder to defend. I know this. But I love me some Jersey Shore. I follow the entire cast on twitter (don’t judge me), watch every second of every season and follow their every shenanigan in real life.

So excuuuuse me for supporting Sitch in his latest money-making scheme: a fitness video.

I’m not about to give you a full rundown of this gem because it would take forever and I’ve only done one section, but I can tell you this much… He says “pretty much” no fewer than 46 times in the intro to Awesome Abs alone. Not to mention:

A section entitled Juiced Glutes sounds pretty much incredible.

And watching him awkwardly try to “coach” girls by humping hugging them is pretty much perfect.

And the fact that the other dude in the video is referred to as “The Unit” is pretty much the best thing ever.