Vandalist: Luke, I Am Your Investment Banker

If you’re a regular reader of Vandalist, you know weloveourpuns. A lesser known fact is that we also love Star Wars. We thought this piece was a good opportunity to combine those two loves. Boy were we wrong. Unfortunately, we know next to nothing about finances and banking (if we did, this column would be called “Financialist”) and the puns are suffering. Get more bang for your Chew-BUCK-a. Deposit your money at the Jar Jar Banks. Greed(o) is good. Princess Leia-bilities. It’s all really quite sad. We must have some readers who like Star Wars, puns, and money, who can do better than this! Help us, readers, you’re our only hope.