"At my poorliest, I weighed less than six stone," she said. "Last year, my weight was terribly low and I knew I couldn't go on like this.

"My best friend saved my life because she took me to see my GP. She knew I was struggling and she knew I needed help.

"She was fantastic. Without her, I'm not sure I'd be here today.

"My eating disorder was so bad. I was losing the fight."

Hilary has agreed to share her story to highlight anorexia and other eating disorders.

She wants to promote Eating Disorders Awareness Week, which runs until Sunday.

The week-long campaign aims to challenge stereotypes and improve both the support and awareness of the condition.

"I'm sorry that I don't feel strong enough to identify myself in the newspaper," said Hilary, who lives in Derby.

"But I am a professional woman and I don't want the whole world to know about my struggle.

"I work with members of the public and it isn't appropriate to reveal my identity. I'm sorry about that."

Hilary started to develop an eating disorder in 2007.

She and her husband were due to go on holiday but, the day before they left, he announced that their marriage was over. He had met someone else. Hilary's world came crashing down.

Then, just before Christmas, her dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer. He died six weeks later.

"I started feeling like I was losing control," said Hilary.

"What with my dad and the divorce, I started spending more and more time at the gym. I got pretty addicted to exercise and, with that, came the need to restrict what I was eating.

"It spiraled out of control. At first, I started cutting out certain things from my diet like bread and carbs. Then I skipped meals because I started telling myself that I'd already eaten enough that day.

"I was making life impossible for myself. The exercise, the calorie counting, the restricting of food – it consumed me.

"And, while all this was happening, I was losing weight at a rapid rate."

Hilary loved cooking and going to the supermarket to buy groceries. She liked going out for meals and spending time with friends.

But, as the eating disorder worsened, she started distancing herself from people.

She started cutting more things from diet and literally banned herself from eating them. She would drive miles to supermarkets so she would not bump into anyone she knew. She says it was all very traumatic.

"It started with bread, then it moved to potatoes and cheese and alcohol.

"I was restricting myself so much I think my calorie intake couldn't have been more than between 500 to 1000 a day. I knew how many calories were in absolutely everything. I was consumed with it. And the exercising was getting extreme.

"I never enjoyed going out on a 10-mile walk but that's what I did. You're kidding yourself if you said you enjoyed a fast 10-mile walk at the weekend.

"It was painful and there's no fun in it. For me, it was a form of punishment for the food I'd eaten – that's how I saw it. It was a terrible time in my life."

Last year, Hilary started receiving the support she needed to help her cope with her eating disorder. It is a slow process. There is no quick fix but Hilary is starting to enjoy life again.

She has gained weight and is back at work, after taking some time off due to her illness.

First Steps Derbyshire, a charity on Agard Street in Derby, reached out and offered Hilary a lifeline.

And Derbyshire Eating Disorders Service, part of Derbyshire Healthcare NHS Foundation Trust, is also working with the her.

Hilary said: "I can't thank these two groups enough. First Steps allowed me to have one-to-one sessions with one of its support workers.

"And Derbyshire Eating Disorders Service offered me some cognitive behavioural therapy and, after that, I've been taking part in a weekly group therapy session.

"This has been very beneficial to me. Both services have helped me so much and I am very grateful.

"I'm not cured – it's going to take some time but I know I'm in a much better place."

To aid her recovery, Hilary was asked to keep a food diary and was given a diet plan. Instead of battling with herself about whether or not she "deserved" to have a cup of coffee, she simply followed the schedule her dietician gave her.

"There was no 'is it too soon to have tea' or 'I can't eat that because I can't justify it' – I just stuck to the diet plan.

"I knew the only way I was going to put weight on was to follow it. And, since then, I have gained weight. I'm about a stone heavier now.

"I have colour in my cheeks and I feel better. I don't exercise any more either.

"My diet plan was my bible and I stuck to it rigidly."

Hilary is definitely eating more normally now. She is not out of the woods but her life is in a better place.

"I've overcome a lot," she said. "And I feel better. I was a deathly grey – and now I'm not. Anorexia is an illness. It's a mental illness – just like the other eating disorders.

"But there's help out there and that means there's hope for people like me.

"I'm back in control of my life and that feels good. At the same time, I have all the support I need from these two excellent services."

2 comments

Sadly our experience of First Steps and the Belper ED Service has been very poor. It is a horrendous illness without those who are tasked with treating and supporting the sufferer and the family making it worse.