As NFL Media columnist Michael Silver alluded to Wednesday on NFL Network, the San Francisco 49ers were iced out of a Week 7 home game by the Pacific International Quilt Festival XXIII, billed on its website as the "largest quilt show on the west coast."

"Don't just go to a quilt festival, vacation at one!"-- enemy of Colin Kaepernick

Unsolicited suggestion to P.I.Q.F. organizers: There is no such thing as "too much" police presence for this event.

The close-knit quilt community (nailed it) isn't the only inhibitor of civic professional football contests. Soccer -- the beautiful game only truly appreciated by noxious Gray Lady hipsters -- will keep both the Jets and Giants out of MetLife Stadium in Week 5. In Week 9, a rugby match between the USA Eagles and the New Zealand All Blacks keeps the Bears away from Soldier Field.

(I'll give you a minute to wrap your head around a rugby match being hosted at a stadium in Illinois.)

And then there's One Direction.

The British boy band -- not content with the flesh of the Jonas Brothers resting in their digestive tracks -- decided to wreak havoc on the NFL with a U.S. fall tour. The pop act impacted four NFL franchises with stadium dates in New Orleans (Sept. 25), Atlanta (Oct. 1), Tampa (Oct. 3) and Miami (Oct. 5). This is the point where I'd insert a play on words involving a notable 1D hit. Alas, I don't have a 9-year-old daughter.

Finally, one last note on the Niners. Silver told Around The League the city of Santa Clara won't let the team host Thursday or Monday games because corporate parking lots are in use during weekdays.

I have no evidence linking this unwieldy municipal decision back to Harry Styles. Not yet, anyway.