Sunday, October 25, 2009

So this weekend was super busy. Friday night we had Sharon and Adrian over for dinner and we carved Ian's pumpkin. He of course would not touch the inside of the pumpkin. The pumpkin did turn out well though...Saturday we went and supported Cheri and Cort and their little man Lukas in the 1st annual Walk for Apraxia. It was amazing, it was so so gorgeous out, cold but not to cold. They raised approx. $6,000 when all was said and done. It was a lot of fun. On the way home we dropped Ian off at Grandma's and then came home and got ready ourselves. Drove up to Elk River for Beerfest at The Chamber's Home. It was quite a good time. Some uncomfortable hugs later we were on our way back home.

Today I got up early, went and got Ian and went to JCPenny's to get some pictures taken of Ian with his cousins Meghan, Haley and Sabrina. We got about 2 pictures in before he freaked out and decided he wasn't taking any. My mom had arranged it and was paying for the pictures. So she had paid for a membership with no sitting fees so now Rob, Ian and I will go to the JCPenny by our home and get pictures taken. Try again!!! Ugh I hope this next time he cooperates.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

It truly helps me writing, it's weird. Granted I treat it more as a letter to someone. Anyone who cares to read and maybe have some insight or truly just say hi. I read a lot of other blogs which are AMAZING, truly amazing whether is be Mommy wants Vodka, Matt, Liz and Madeline or Mckmama to name a few. And many others I love to follow up on, I don't know how to make my blog either popular or just more comment I don't know, either way life is going good right now. Ian is 20 months old! I can't believe in 4 short months he will be a 2 year old! Tonight he got his first Birthday Party invitation to our neighbor's little girl Birthday. She will be turning 2 on the 30th of this month. Where or where does the time go?

Rob and I are doing well, we have our disagreements like anyone else but I truly believe we are both really trying at working with each other rather then against. Not that we were ever against each other but well let's just say he's not pushing my buttons as much, he's realizing my emotions more and how to deal with them. Yes I AM a very emotional person, I am also very opinionated and controlling. The controlling part I know comes from my anxiety disorder. I can't control my anxiety so I try to control everything around me to help me not have anxiety. Um yeah that doesn't always work to my advantage as it shouldn't. But at the moment well I want it to, hell who doesn't want to have their way ALL THE TIME.

As I'm writing the post I am getting anxiety, why I don't know but I am. It sucks it truly sucks. The past few weeks I've just seem to been in a circle of good, bad, good, bad. Work is well work, it's been frustrating with some changes but it will all work out. I am trying to learn to leave my stress from work at work but that is rather challenging.

So here I am trying to calm my mind from anxiety, try to pour it into my blogging, trying to watch tv and distract myself. Trying to NOT take my klonapin. Because to me that is giving in and I know after taking it for so long it tends to not work as well. So to not take it and take it only when I REALLY need it is way better. Like when I'm out of my "safety zone" like my home.