Main menu

ted

Parents can be so dumb sometimes. Like, they teach you not to judge people based on looks. And expect people not to judge them based on their actions. But then they come out with nonsense like this.

OK, so here are three ways to spot a villain, according to my bigoted, bigoted father, Ted Power. The same Ted Power who once burned down an orphanage at Christmas, while ‘trying to adjust the furnace’.

It’s pretty easy to keep a secret from my family. I mean, you hardly even have to try. They’re all so self-involved that you can tell them the stupidest lies and they’ll believe you. This is a good thing, because it allows me to practise my telekinesis without them knowing.

I have been kind of saving the best till last. His power involves sparking heat energy out of his fingers, i.e. setting things on fire. He once hospitalised a famous archeologist who was appraising a chalice. The poor man had second-degree burns, but all he cared about was that the chalice was unscathed. Which is a pity because half of it got all melty.