Saturday, 13 September 2014

Domestic violence is not something people like to talk about. In
fact, victims are actively discouraged from speaking out.

First, they’re forced into silence by the perpetrators, who by the
very nature of the situation are ideally placed to monitor, control and strike
terror into the minds of their victims.

Second, they’re not taken seriously by the police as many officers
still view the attack on a woman’s bodily integrity by her partner to be a
private matter. This attitude is enforced by the antiquated idea that the man
is the head of his household and that he has authority over his wife and
children.

Third, society as a whole would much rather judge the women (and
men) trapped in this cycle of abuse than the men (and women) who commit these
crimes.*

The levels of victim-blaming that domestic violence survivors face are mind
boggling. Questioning the actions and sanity of the victims instead of the
perpetrators makes up most of the existing dialogue on this topic.

“Why would she put up with this? Why doesn’t she just leave him?
Why does she stay with him?” are the oft repeated questions that come up every
time a horrific story of torture and abuse surfaces.

We seldom, if ever, hear people asking “Why is he doing this? Why doesn’t he seek help? Why doesn’t he leave her if she makes him so angry
that he would resort to violence?”

Once again, as with rape and sexual violence, the onus of
responsibility is placed squarely in the victim’s lap.

Because while there are a million reasons to leave an abusive
relationship, people trapped inside them also see a million reasons to stay.

Don’t you think it’s about time we listened to those reasons,
instead of immediately condemning people who act in situations that we know
nothing about?

Because the facts are scary. A lot of women stay in abusive
relationships because they are threatened with death if they leave. This is not
an empty threat.

So maybe it’s time to start taking these stories seriously.
*Domestic violence happens to men and women and is perpetrated by men and
women. Tragically, men rarely speak up about it because the patriarchal values
of our society condemn and blame men who are victims. In this piece I’ve mostly
used “men” as the perpetrators and “women” as the victims because of the much
higher occurrence of violence against women.

Quotes

Married to a Devil

About Me

Welcome to my blog!
I hope you find it interesting. If there is nothing of interest today,please keep on checking. You may never know what tomorrow has.
I write about issues that affect women mostly in the underdeveloped parts of the world. My first book is called 'Married to a Devil'.
Don't get me wrong,I also write about men.
Buy my book 'Married To A Devil' on Amazonor buy from Chipmunkapublishing.co.uk