Victim?

“A strong, successful man is not the victim of his environment. He creates favorable conditions. His own inherent force and energy compel things to turn out as he desires.” — Orison Swett Marden

Throughout my life I considered myself a victim, a victim of life! I always had an excuse for everything that went wrong. I was the victim no matter what. If I got in trouble in school I would blame another student. When I got arrested I would blame the people I was hanging around with. 100% of the time I found a reason for my actions and 100% of the time it came from elsewhere and not me! I was a good kid!

When I began my recovery journey I found reasons that I was an addict. In fact, the therapist’s I had would help me find the why! I was an Adult Child of an Alcoholic! Again I was the victim. It was heredity, my genes, my feelings, my friends, my environment, on and on and on! The one thing it was not? My choices! But then one day my wife Laura said to me “you have an excuse for everything, when are you gonna grow up ad take responsibility?” Well, to be honest, I had an excuse for that as well! She just did not understand me or the situation. Wow, now my own wife has turned on me! As they say in the chat world, LOL! Just too funny.

I would like to point to a day and a time that I began to change my thought patterns, but I can not. I simply began to eliminate the excuses. I began to take ownership for my decisions. I realized that “Victims are Victimized” and I am not a victim. I make my choices, I make my bed, I can either lay in it or do something about it. With that as my principle I stopped blaming other people therefore there are no resentments to hold. When I take advice from someone and the decision turns out to be an incorrect decision, well it was my decision! I have taken huge risks in several areas including the financial and relational areas of my life and lost, it was my decision!

All of our challenges and that includes my challenges carry with it the seed of opportunity to turn it into something good! Sure it is difficult at times and I have had to make significant sacrifices at times to overcome the damage done, but “with God all things are possible”! I focus on the next step, I take the 10th step when I am wrong, I promptly admit it and I move on to create the outcome that awaits me. Anything less, I am a Victim!