The Best of the Bitter: 2009

You don’t know where you’re bitterly going until you know where you’ve been. So, in honor of an eventful year in the universe of all things legal, we’ve decided to re-feature our most popular content pieces from 2009.

The last year for LF10 has been…neurotic. The lengths our Chicagoan female associate goes to, trying to balance the dryness of lawyer life with the barren drought of her love life, have showcased the hilarious proclivities of being a single chick with a JD. We witnessed her fall from being the BigLaw Erin Andrews in 2008, to this year’s desperate dating service queen.

Giving a “balding, overly confident, married equity partner” an inch means he’ll take a mile—by bombarding a girl with a mile-long, sexually harassing email exchange. Can’t anyone decipher between professional attentiveness and flirtation anymore?

Why don’t more female lawyers realize that law firms’ Women’s Initiatives are for the fugly and awkward?

MATTHEW RICHARDSON

We don’t call Matthew Richardson “Unethical & Amoral” for nothing. As an M&A associate at a big New York firm, he epitomizes everything you love / hate / love to hate about that one associate who always takes rules and norms and fucks them up for his own hedonistic pleasure. This guy will dip his pen in the company ink—or any ink, for that matter—even if it’s a really objectionable inkwell.

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Is this another way of stating that Bitter Lawyer is not putting fresh material over the holidays? How am I going to have any hope of attracting a decent female lawyer? If there is not fresh material, how can I find a fresh female willing to bear me children and return with me to Ghana? Must I go to Waco, Texas to follow a law woman I met here at a holiday gathering even though she has virtually no rear end? I must have alternatives, and this website is denying me one, at least until the new year? Well, then, ladies, best wishes until 2010. I will return at that time if the lady with the flat rear end does not bear me fruit.