Thursday, January 8, 2015

Family

Yesterday the child who I take care of had family come in. The Mom's sister is here so the Aunt gets to give good old fashioned Aunt love to the child-her nephew. When I was leaving yesterday I told the child to soak up all the love but not too much love. What I mean by this is: of course the Aunt will give her nephew lots of love and should. There is nothing like Aunt love just like there is nothing like Grandma love. In other words there is nothing like family love. I say not too much love though because I define too much love as- giving the child everything they want.

Sometimes when extended family comes for a visit or a family goes to see extended family all the rules seem to go out the door. Grandma, Grandpa, Aunts, Uncles seem to give the child everything they want and they hold the child all day long. This is harmful and frustrating to people who work in child care because when the child comes back the rules have to be relearned. The child goes from having every want given to them to an environment where it's not and that lesson has to be relearned and it's hard on the child, the parents, and the caregiver. Also the child goes from being held all the time to not being held all the time and.... Oh the drama!! There are many tears as the child has to relearn independent play and that they're all right even though no one is holding them and loving them. The lesson that every cry or tantrum will not get the child what they want also has to be relearned.

So remember....family love is great! Some spoiling can even occur and should. However, to cater to every whim, and to hand over every need and want isn't. When the family member is gone the rules still apply to the child. Independent play is still important to them and needs to occur, they still have to wait for a need or want to be taken care of, and where we caregivers love the child too we understand that to hold them all day can't and shouldn't happen because it prevents the child the room they need to grow and develop.

Please love your family. Just please don't spoil the children to the point where lessons that need and sometimes have already been learned have to be retaught.