Review: So Much More by Kim Holden

Love is strange. It comes out of nowhere. There’s no logic to it. It’s not methodical. It’s not scientific. It’s pure emotion and passion. And emotion and passion can be dangerous because they fuel love…and hate.

I’m now a reluctant connoisseur of both—an expert through immersion. I know them intimately.

When I fell in love with Miranda, it was swift and blind. She was the person I’d elevated to mythical status in my head, in my dreams.

Here’s the thing about dreams, they’re smoke.

They’re spun as thoughts until they become something we think we want. Something we think we need.

That was Miranda. She was smoke.

I thought I wanted her. I thought I needed her.

Over time reality crept in and slowly dissected and disemboweled my dreams like a predator, leaving behind a rotting carcass.

Reality can be a fierce bitch.

So can Miranda.

And I can be a fool...

who believes in dreams.

And people.

And love.

Aching and sweet, a love story, a life story, that’s uniquely Holden in which I’m left with hopefulness that fills me.

“People are what make life worth living. Sacrifice. Love. Compassion. It’s pretty goddamn beautiful. Who knew?”

Kim Holden never fails to turn my cynical heart to marshmallow. She never fails to inspire me, and she never fails to make me fall in love with her uniquely endearing characters. But, she did something new this time around; she did more. She made me love a character that I despised. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised; she’s got that magic.

“The dark ugliness of hate peeks through the recesses and blots out the light of decency. I wonder how long it will be before I transform completely into my hate. I’m fighting it for my kids.”

So Much More centers around three characters, Seamus, Miranda, and Faith. Seamus is a single dad raising his three children and they’re his whole heart. It’s clear that they’re his life and I absolutely adored this man. He may be my favorite Kim Holden hero yet. When we meet Seamus, he’s very much emotionally shattered after the end of his 12-year marriage. Family means everything to him, and his heart breaks when he learns the truth about the woman he pledged his life to.

“I want to cling to his soft heart, but I don’t want his softness to seep into my hard heart. Because softness will get me nowhere.”

Miranda is a despicable character and my hatred for her knew no bounds. She’s conniving, selfishly ambitious, and there were times when I questioned if she had a soul. She’s bad blood, and what she puts Seamus and his family through is unforgivable. Miranda made it hard for me to read this story sometimes, as I had to pause to catch my breath. But she does add a layer of realness and ugliness that gives depth to the story, and cuts through some of the overly sweet moments.

“Your presence eases a tension inside me that I’ve carried all my life. You make me hurt less.”

Faith is the hope of a future, and she meets Seamus at exactly the time he needs her to fuel that hope, and exactly the time that she needs him to ignite her own faith. Reminiscent of Kate from Bright Side (minus the tragic circumstances), Faith is beauty and positivity that my skeptical self would usually see as false, but Kim Holden makes me believe it. She always does.

“You can’t miss what you never had right? That holds true for everything in my life, except one. Love. I miss it, even though we’ve never met.”

So Much More is written in alternating moments from past to present in these three characters’ points of view, until they converge and Seamus, Miranda, and Faith are irrevocably intertwined in each other’s lives. Though sometimes the transition between POVs frustrated me, I loved how the story developed. Don’t be particular if you dislike love triangles, because this isn’t that. This is a romance, but it’s not what is important. This is a story about family, love in all its forms, second chances, and forgiveness.

“Nothing, and no one, will destroy me.”

Kim Holden showcases her best writing in this emotional tale, her words strong and meaningful. This story is so much more than what I was expecting. Honestly, I had no idea what to expect, since the synopsis barely hinted at the story, but this wasn’t it. I didn’t expect to feel such a range of emotions, most of them contradictory. I didn’t expect to feel such fire one moment, and then soothed the next. I didn’t expect my feelings to evolve so drastically that I went from loathing to compassion in the short span of a few hours. That’s not me; I’m unforgiving. But I experienced it all, and I won’t forget it. This is a good one, and I absolutely loved reading it. I definitely recommend that you read it too.