2018-11-25

After a painfully long wait caused in part by the 100th Grey Cup having to be in Buttfuck Toronto, and the Canada 150 Grey Cup having to be in Goddamn Trudeauland Ottawa, Edmonton once again is hosting a Grey Cup.

And who's playing? Yes, that's right: the team based in the city we all hate because the MPs who destroy our lives with pipeline blockings and M103 freedom destructons all gather there. And then Calgary, who's only two saving graces are Highway 2 North and that they shut down their faggy mayor's bid to bring in the Olympics.

On the other hand, Edmonton remains the premier Grey Cup host in the country, so after a weekend of partying (and being slightly offended that you could get "Screeched In" west of Winnipeg in an event that was to celebrate the new CFL team in Halifax which also isn't in Newfoundland) the actual game is coming up.

I did bet money on it, so I might as well Kentucky Derby style put my predictions in now.

My alternate prediction: hours before the game all players on both teams fail their league mandated steroid tests, and then all the BC Lions, Saskatchewan Roughriders, Winnipeg Blue Bombers, Hamilton Tiger Cats, Toronto Argonauts, and Montreal Alouettes players also fail the steroid tests, and the CFL grants the Eskimos the Cup.