LostPerson

I am a young deacon.i recently became a deacon but havent yet confessed as i didnt get a chance to before i became a deacon.now i am told i have to confess in the near future but i am having trouble as i am embarassed to confess the really bad sins just because everyody thinks i am good and stuff (which im not) don't want abouna to think bad of me. What shall I do?

I used to think this two sins were harmless as my enviroment shows them to be harmless but i now know that they are big sins. Now I have two very very big sins that i need to confess. It kills to go to the front of the church with these sins on my consciemce. I have stopped this sins and i want to repent for my sins but i dont know how ,i dont even know how to say them in my language (tigrigna).

+ I know that abounas can't tell your confession to anyone or change his opinion about anyone but I still feel that everytime they see me after it will be weird.+ The other point is acctually explaining what I did. They are so bad and i don't even know how to explain them. These sins are common among teens and youths and are bad habbits. What shall I do?+ I am young so for my age it is a big sin. But still how do I say it to abouna?Please help me and pray for me a lot because i am ineed of these .The sins were masterbation and pornography but i dont know how to explain them .pls help me .i am super stressed.

Comments

at least they are the 2 sins that are discussed the most on internet forums like this one.

you don't even have to speak the same language as your priest.

just tell him 'i did those 2 sins that people do the most and i am very ashamed'.

he will work out the rest, really he has heard it all before.

please go and see him as soon as possible and everything will be more easy after that.

also read the Bible and pray from your prayer book (in whatever language you are comfortable praying in).

in the egyptian prayer book (agpeya) we have special prayers at the end of the book for before you go to confession. there is one for repenting and praying privately to God and then one to pray before you see your priest.

that will help a lot.

may God give you courage. we all have to confess our sins, and the Bible tells us that God is faithful and just and forgives the sinner who repents (1 john chapter 1 verse 9)

None of us are perfect, nobody's going to think poorly of you so get in line and confess, my friend.

I went through a similar ordeal but I then realized how that feeling of reluctance to confess within me because this lie: "Others will think badly of me." It's a trap! Have courage, my brother, your sins can be defeated, whatever they may be. I have similar problems with masturbation and pornography and when I confess to Abouna, it feels empowering on so many levels.

First of all, Abouna doesn't look at me weird or anything. Secondly, I feel as if 2 angels came down and lifted a cloak made of 500 lbs of lead off of my shoulders. Let me describe this in more depth, because you need to understand this feeling. It is like a burden, that I never noticed, was removed from my heart, as if my heart were set free. My senses seemed strengthened, colours were vivid, my vision was clearer, my hearing was sharper, my acuity for emotional cues strengthened and I became more clearly minded and calm. It is as if the vigour and vitality of life was dulled as consequences of my habitual masturbation and confession helped clear my conscience and set me on the right path, bringing back the "life" to my soul. The experience gave me an overwhelming desire to resist temptations and the urges to return to old sexual habits; it strengthened me. Whatever lies that have somehow wormed their way into your mind, kill them, let go of them and resist those "intuitions".

Don't rely on those thoughts, my friend. Don't think "oh this, oh that"... NO. It's funny how we sometimes make these weird associations and assumptions in our heads that couldn't be further from the truth. Take action, as Jesus commanded us. He died for us so that he may bury these sins and forget they happened, because he loved us that much. Confess, my brother, it might be the best thing you ever do, or it won't be, but one thing that it is sure to be is a step in the right direction regardless of what angle you take on it. Mabsoota outlined the steps you need to take. Please, take them.

Down the road of the path you take when you indulge in masturbation and pornography, you will look back and regret it all. You will try, with all your heart to resist and to change your ways because you will understand the consequences as you would be living with them. Trust me, don't go down that path. Believe me, those 30 seconds of gratification aren't worth the lifelong troubles. I beg you, stop while you still have the chance. If you need help, please, PM me.