Friday, August 19, 2011

It's Been A While...

It has been a while since I have blogged and I will tell you why. I felt a lot of chaos happening around me and within...and I had to just shut down and listen to the silence within. That may sound foreign to some but hear me out...

I found myself attempting to find logic in the illogical...why are we not getting along? Is it something I am doing, or am I missing something? Should I stay or should I go? Should I step in and say something or just leave it be? Various questions in my head so much so I wasn't listening to my heart, where my truth rests patiently to be seen. I found myself about to relive past events, react the same way, only to get the same result yet again. This time, I decided to change and not repeat the past. I realized in order to not repeat the past I must listen to my heart. In order to understand what I presently experience, I must listen to my heart. Shutting down the "chatter" of multiple questions in my head, attempting to find logic, forced me into a quiet place and it was amazing. It showed me my present isn't so different from my past. Understanding my emotions in the past helps me determine my emotions in my present. I was such an asshole...serving and only thinking of myself, not taking other's emotions into consideration, only mine. What is different NOW...I can be that asshole, but I know it limits me from helping others, showing them the love I give myself. I also realize that family, friends, babymamas and even babydaddys may have to remove themselves from your reality, but how YOU respond, keeping a place of love for them in YOUR heart...they will awaken when the time is right on their path. It's not an easy road, I'm just glad I understand the directions a little bit better...