'True Blood' RECAP - 'I Found You' [Spoilers]

I want to begin this week by thanking the man or woman responsible for somehow sneaking in my Eric (Alexander Skarsgård)-Jason (Ryan Kwanten) slash-fiction into the True Blood writers’ room. It made no sense and was completely unnecessary (just a dream sequence), but I certainly wasn’t complaining.

In addition to that scene, there were enough holes in tonight’s episode (plotholes! get your mind out of the gutter!) to remind viewers that this is True Blood, after all, and it’s best not to think too hard about it.

Following Sookie (Anna Paquin)'s plea to help the town battle back the H-Vamps, the townspeople are filing out of church. Everyone’s ambling about, and Rev. Daniels (Gregg Daniel) suggests Sam (Sam Trammell) encourage the community to spend the day in service, instead of fretting about the next inevitable wave of wild vampire attacks, or whatever. Great idea!

Lettie Mae (Adina Porter) is the first to embrace the mayor’s charge and is like, “You know what, I’m going to visit my sweet nephew Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) who happens to be a psychic medium that could contact my dead daughteran excellent source for more hallucinogenic vampire blood one of my last remaining relatives.” “Great idea,” thinks Rev. Daniels. “What could possibly go wrong when my wife, a woman that struggled with addiction all these years, goes to visit her drug-dealing nephew after they both have just suffered a traumatic experience?” Just excellent thinking all around.

Fortunately, when Lettie Mae arrives at Lafayette’s, he’s got the good sense not to supply her with the drugs. Instead, she goes home and sticks her hand in a frying pan, sizzling it up real good. Then she runs out to wake Willa (Amelia Rose Blaire), because she clearly needs some vampire blood to help heal her wounds. (Well-played, Lettie Mae.) Once she’s hopped up on V, she has a vision of Tara (Rutina Wesley) speaking in tongues, dressed in white up on a cross with a snake writhing around her shoulders like she’s Britney at the 2001 MTV Video Music Awards. (Also: Super subtle imagery there with the cross and the snake, True Blood.)

Back at Bellefleur’s, the townsfolk are cleaning up the wreckage from last night’s attack. In walks Vince (Brett Rickaby), ready to rally the normals against Sam, Andy (Chris Bauer), Sookie and the vamps. He tells them all about Sam being a shifter. (He also reveals that Sam ran his mayoral campaign on “I’m a politician you can trust,” which has got to be the most lazy campaign platform ever. Stupid, stupid True Blood.) Anyway, the easily-riled masses are, well, easily riled and start grabbing whatever they can use as weapons from around the restaurant. Adilyn (Bailey Noble) uses her faerie mind-reading powers to realize that Deputy Kevin’s ladyfriend is thinking about all those guns waiting at the police station’s armory.

Adilyn and one of Holly’s sons try to get there first and warn Kenya about the impending mob. They start to hide the guns, but then the crowd shows up and convinces Kenya (Tanya Wright) that her boss has been a little too bossy all these years. Maybe she should just hand over all the town’s last remaining guns to this poorly equipped group of easily-riled dummies. Kenya's like, "You know what, great idea! Here. Take all these guns." So Kenya goes to grab Adilyn, who fires off a big faerie ball of light, easily riling the easily-riled and inciting them to toss her in lockup. This alerts Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll), who gave Adilyn some of her blood, that she’s in trouble. Unfortunately, it’s still a sun-shiney day outside and Jessica is trapped in the attic. So she rings Sookie, who, dumbly, threw away her phone last week. Then she tries to call the police station and gets no answer. Then she tries to call literally no one else. Does she have no other phone numbers? She paces up in the attic until Andy arrives, and, of course, he immediately accuses her of eating his daughter. She convinces him she did not. (Also, oddly, Jessica didn’t heal from when she let Adilyn sample some of her blood. I think it’s because Jessica hasn't been eating, and not that she’s got the virus.)

While all this is going down, Alcide (Joe Manganiello), Sookie, Jason, Andy and Sam are on the hunt for answers. Sookie recommends starting with the body she found in the woods, since the starving, wild vampires would definitely bring a body along and just abandon it in the woods and not eat it, for some reason. Sure. They find her ID and learn that she was from the next town over. Quick, to the mystery van! When they arrive at the aforementioned town, there’s no one left. All that remains is a mass grave and a bunch of boarded-up buildings. They investigate the dead woman’s home and surmise that she was taken during a pizza dinner with her baby. Since they’re already inside, Sookie thumbs through the woman’s diary, only to learn that this woman also fell in love with a vampire, and look what it got her. (Corpses: They’re Just Like Us!) When they get back home, Sookie sends Alcide up to shower and then scurries over to Bill (Stephen Moyer)’s place to ask if he still senses if she ever gets in danger. Why? NO REASON! JUST ASKING, GEEZ. I’m sure she’s not off to do something monumentally stupid.

Our hostages are still whimpering and shaking in the basement of Fangtasia. The vamp who couldn’t wait to eat Deputy Kevin (John Rezig) last week is getting a tongue lashing by the rest of the H-Vamps for getting greedy. They name Betty, a former teacher, as the new reaper. When she goes down to pick the next victim, Arlene and Holly realize she’s taught their kids. (I guess their whole “I GOT KEEDZ” schtick finally paid off.) They appeal to whatever’s left of her humanity, and she agrees to try and free them. After convincing the other vamps to let her be the sleep monitor (a lot of jobs in H-Vamp Town, can I get an org chart?), she sneaks down to free them. They’ve only got 12 minutes to escape, but first Betty’s gots to eat. So she sinks her teeth into Arlene just before melting into a pile of dead vampire parts. R.I.P., Betty! Say hi to Tara for me!

Comments

yet another dream sequence. This show never did have any sort of satisfactory gay love stories included.

Posted by: tad | Jun 30, 2014 8:46:19 AM

Finally after all these years. Ryan is my favorite and pairing him with Alexander was great idea. The scene is beautiful and touching (more ways than one). Thank you TB.

Posted by: Matt27 | Jun 30, 2014 8:52:55 AM

Another dream, but at least this time Jason woke up with a smile on his face instead of panicking.

Posted by: Dastius Krazitauc | Jun 30, 2014 9:14:04 AM

I totally stopped paying attention after Eric and Jason's encounter.

Remember when Bill and Sam were hot for each other in a dream sequence a few seasons back? Nothing ever came of it. Nothing will come of this, either. It was just a little gift for the guys.

Posted by: Sam | Jun 30, 2014 10:36:15 AM

I totally stopped paying attention after Eric and Jason's encounter.

Remember when Bill and Sam were hot for each other in a dream sequence a few seasons back? Nothing ever came of it. Nothing will come of this, either. It was just a little gift for the guys.

Posted by: Sam | Jun 30, 2014 10:36:15 AM

What kind of vampire can be an elemetary school teacher? That made zero sense unless it was a windowless schoolhouse, or night-school for kids. How did the writers let this go? She would have been killed by the sun at recess. Killed by the sun on a field trip. Unless she got to school before sunrise and left after sunset. But still, that would mean she didn't sleep during the day.

Another high point was when Jason, who obviously has a lot of experience w/junk food, was able to determine that a slice of pizza was exactly two and a half days old by taking a bite.

And then he continued to eat the pizza through the rest of the scene.

Posted by: bcarter3 | Jun 30, 2014 11:09:40 AM

@Joshua.... Arlene said to the schoolteacher something to the effect that it was sad that she moved away...hence she was no longer teaching (and obviously was made).

Posted by: mak136 | Jun 30, 2014 11:29:03 AM

@Joshua

Obviously, she wasn't a vampire WHILE she was a teacher. That's your take-away from the episode? Honestly.....

Posted by: TBfan | Jun 30, 2014 11:38:35 AM

Really fun episode. Obviously the Jason-Eric pairing was tops on the fan fic list for years, and I'm glad they saw fit to get around to it in the final season.

I am really liking the direction of this season. Jeopardy for everyone, and action-based storyline. Going back to old favorites like V hallucination drug trips, gay sex dreams, and complete madness taking over the citizenry of Bon Temps. Good stuff. I think this season is going to send the show off with a bang. Yay!

Posted by: Zlick | Jun 30, 2014 12:22:46 PM

As long as one sets one's mind to the fact that this is just entertaining trash--instead of the probing/disturbing allegory for larger issues that it used to be--the show's still enjoyable. (BCarter3 nailed the best parts of the episode, the opening and Jason's pizza gag.) I'm just going through the motions to see how it all ends but have little emotional investment anymore--and based on how they offed Tara, neither do the writers.

Posted by: Dback | Jun 30, 2014 1:06:56 PM

Great opening scene, but the rest of the episode left a lot to be desired, in my opinion. The best part of the episode was when Pam finally found Eric. What will happen next in that story arc could be very interesting. I'm glad others here enjoyed the episode.

Posted by: Keith | Jun 30, 2014 1:08:48 PM

I knew it had to be a dream sequence while it was happening...but it sure was hot and I loved...just loved...Jason's reaction to the dream--not fear or repulsion, just a crooked smile and a glance at his obviously burgeoning nether regions.

Posted by: woodroad34 | Jun 30, 2014 2:48:39 PM

Oh, and not to mention (but I will) how Jason was able to flip Eric and Eric just went with it as opposed to Eric flipping Russell's boy toy a couple of seasons back.

Posted by: woodroad34 | Jun 30, 2014 2:50:23 PM

Oh, and not to mention (but I will) how Jason was able to flip Eric and Eric just went with it as opposed to Eric flipping Russell's boy toy a couple of seasons back.

Posted by: woodroad34 | Jun 30, 2014 2:50:23 PM

A very hot scene...

Posted by: jarago | Jun 30, 2014 5:37:31 PM

I loved how absolutely cheesetastic Jason's fantasy was, as bad as any Latin serial. LOL Love you, Jason.
Yes on the pizza gag. Again, Jason is the heart of the humor on this show since Lafayette got too dark and stopped being all fierce and quippy.
Personally, I'd love to see Godric again for a bit before we go. His relationship with Eric was the deepest and saddest of the show so far. Love them. Maybe he could whisper in Eric's ear that he really should do Jason once before the Hep-V gets him.

Posted by: Book | Jun 30, 2014 8:47:45 PM

No, no. No more dead vampires coming back from the 'other' other side. We already have to deal with Tara, one is enough.