(I submit this report to you, loyal reader, while I am still at the LAN. I may yet not make it back home — 2 a hour drive separates me from my usual abode. A 2 hour drive in a car full of dribbling and slavering sleep-deprived goons. Hopefully, service will continue as normal tomorrow!)

because pictures of my cookie is exactly what I want circulating the internet, bedazzled or not – also, I do not have a merkin of any kind, let alone a braided one (and yes I had to look up what that was).

I think I heard about them in history class once…or maybe it was english class…I dunno, but once I looked it up I was like, “oh! why didn’t he just say cookie-wig? cause that I totally would have understood”. but I looked it up on the OED and I figure if they recognize it then it must be real…btw, I’ve noticed that you have a lot of obscure knowledge.

there is no other euphemism that I’ve heard that I like. deal with it…or think of a better one for me.

but yes…and today if you have anything you’re looked at like a mutant…or a 70s porn star. good thing I work at a spa and get a discount. maintenance is expensive – that was prolly TMI. sorry bout that.