5 Stages For Getting The Hell Over Him

Nothing like being dumped to bring out your multiple personalities. There’s such a rush of emotions and you don’t know what to do. Then there are the sudden impulses and you don’t know which one to act on. It’s okay girl, you’re not crazy. Well, not yet.

Optimism/Understanding

This is right after the breakup where you still have hope for the best. Even after whatever happened, you still get butterflies at the sight of him or smile when you hear his name. You make little excuses for why he’s doing whatever he’s doing. You’re still optimistic about the future.

You still sensationalize everything that has happened between you two. The romantic glaze and fuzzy feelings haven’t escaped just yet. It seems that the like/love you have for him is unconditional. He’ll respond sooner or later. I mean he has to respond right? You were so good for him.

Reality

He still hasn’t called or asked you back. Here is where you over analyze, over think and contemplate what went wrong. You can’t really think of anything else. He just happens to invade your thoughts throughout out the day.

The thought of him makes you happy, sad, angry, etc. You question whether or not you’re becoming bipolar. You want to reach out just one more time, but you remember the humiliating feeling of rejection. You slowly accept the reality that maybe it’s really over.

But you still smile when you hear his name and maybe snarl shortly after. Like, what is up with him? Is it something you did? Did he get tired of you? Was she prettier/nicer/more successful than you? Why can’t he just be honest? Why can’t he just say something? Why won’t he let you in?

Looney Tunes

Over? Hell no! He can’t do that to you after stringing you along for months. You gave the best blow jobs ever, you watched uninteresting sports with him and gave him back massages everytime he needed one. What an asshole! You call again but a little too much and they all go to voicemail.

You even contemplate swinging by his place on your drive home from work. Maybe vandalizing his beloved sports car. No, that would be crazy. Contemplating it isn’t. I mean you could do those things. You aren’t crazy. What he’s doing is crazy.

It would be easier to let go if there was closure right? Now you really have to overthink. You found that random hair tie on his bathroom counter, surely he replaced you for another broad. Oh, and remember his roommate? They’re probably gay for eachother.

He did cancel a lot. Maybe he was tired of you? You know what? It could be any of those things or it could be simple: he just wasn’t that into you.

Back To Reality

It’s nice to come down from a insecurity induced psychopathic episode. You’ve let your emotions out and you realize that you’re amazing. Not everyone can handle something so amazing. No need to brag but I’ve had guys forfeit because I was so amazing. The awesomeness was too intense to bear.

You’re a bright positive light just out here blinding folks with your beauty. You’re like PGAD (Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder), too much of a good thing. Say it now, “I am f*cking amazing. I am beautiful. There are 8 billion people on this planet. I will not waste another emotion on this loser. Because, I don’t care anymore.”

You don’t care because he doesn’t. And you aren’t going to lie to yourself, settle for less or compromise your happiness for a fairytale anymore.

Boy Who?

You’ve forgotten all about him. You’re probably dating someone new or just focusing on you. You laugh at the fact that you even let this person turn you half crazy (or whole). He’s whatever and the little things you used to romanticize about him are out of your mind.

Feels good to be free right? Well, this is exactly the time he’s going to decide to reach or apologize. You can either go through the same thing all over again or ignore, accept and move on. The choice is yours.

It’s okay Hun, you’ll get over him eventually. And remember, don’t do anything that will get you a snapped episode.

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