Journal

1 Mayor, 2 Guys, 1 Shih Tzu

By FRANK RICH

Published: August 4, 2001

For the past two months Rudolph Giuliani has been coming home at night to one of the happiest marriages in New York.

That's how long the mayor, in flight from his own marital wreckage at Gracie Mansion, has been a frequent sleepover guest at the home of Howard Koeppel and his partner, Mark Hsiao. Mr. Koeppel, who is 64, is a Queens car dealer who has been both a close friend and prodigious fund-raiser of Mr. Giuliani's since 1989. The 41-year-old Mr. Hsiao is a Juilliard-trained pianist who works at the city's Department of Cultural Affairs. They've been together almost 10 years &#0151; are registered with the city as domestic partners &#0151; and in happier times for the Giuliani marriage, double-dated with the mayor and Donna Hanover on New Year's Eve. Now they are doting hosts to Mr. Giuliani as he juggles his raucous divorce, his recovery from prostate cancer treatments, his waning months in office, his romance with Judith Nathan, his post-public- life future and, last but hardly least, his search for an affordable Manhattan apartment rental of his own.

I ask Mr. Koeppel: Is it unexpected that Rudolph Giuliani would be staying with an openly gay couple?

"I don't know if it's any more unusual than him wearing a dress," he says.

Mr. Giuliani was, of course, the first New York City mayor to don full drag to perform at the annual Inner Circle show. And now, just as the national debate over same-sex marriage is revving up again, he has become, as far as I can determine, the first marquee politician in America to openly bunk in a gay household. If this sounds like a sitcom premise, it actually has been one &#0151; two years ago, on the series "Spin City." But this is real life, and so I paid a visit to Mr. Koeppel, Mr. Hsiao and their Shih Tzu, Bonnie, at their vast 32nd-floor home in the East 50's one evening this week when the mayor was out.

"It is like `The Odd Couple,'&#0032;" says Mr. Koeppel, who speaks in a gravelly New Yorkese not far removed from Walter Matthau's Oscar Madison. "When Rudy leaves after breakfast, I ask, `What time are you coming home?' and he calls me Mother."

The spats, though, seem nonexistent. "Gay people are very clean," Mr. Koeppel says as we tour the indeed spotless 3,000 square feet of a lavish spread whose decorations include Tiffany lamps, stuffed toy animals, a David statue, Mr. Hsiao's impressive book collection and a Chagall or two. "But Rudy is very clean, too. He makes his own bed." Nor do the considerable differences in cultural orientation divide the threesome. Mr. Koeppel, though a Republican, is supporting a liberal Democrat (and frequent Giuliani antagonist), Mark Green, in this year's mayoral race. Mr. Hsiao is himself a liberal Democrat. Mr. Giuliani and Mr. Hsiao are both ardent opera buffs. Mr. Koeppel finds opera a yawn and prefers show tunes. Divorce makes strange bedfellows.

"We have a lot of fun with it," says Mr. Koeppel. "I kid Rudy sometimes. I say, listen, if this thing doesn't work out now with Judith &#0151; whom we're very fond of &#0151; don't you think you've had enough? Why don't you come over to our side? And he said, you guys have an idyllic life &#0151; you're very happy. He said, `I'll have to think about it.'&#0032;"

Has the mayor picked up any pointers on gay life? "I taught him a lot of expressions," says Mr. Koeppel. "He didn't know what a Friend of Dorothy was." Mr. Hsiao adds, "And I told him I met Vladimir Horowitz in a gay bar."

Mr. Koeppel continues: "He doesn't have any problems with it &#0151; his only one is with Donna. He doesn't have any hang-ups socially."

I ask if it has occurred to them that there's a rather striking contrast between the solidity of their own partnership and the rancorous disintegration of the mayor's marriage. "I've thought about that, but I don't bring it up," says Mr. Hsiao.

"I think the fact that we have such a good relationship makes him more comfortable," says Mr. Koeppel. "About four weeks ago I started venting to Rudy about Mark's fetish about pillows. I took him to our bed, which has about 20 pillows. He told me to calm down. He said, `You can't get upset about things like this. You have trouble with pillows &#0151; just imagine what I'm going through each day. You're so lucky to have someone like Mark.' Rudy got me so chilled out."

The mayor's progressive record on gay civil rights notwithstanding, he has not endorsed same-sex marriage. But, says Mr. Koeppel, "He did tell us that if they ever legalized gay marriages, we would be the first one he would do." Mr. Koeppel and Mr. Hsiao are in favor of the right to marry &#0151; which, among other things, would give gay couples the same protections as heterosexual couples in legal and fiscal matters ranging from immigration and adoption rights to veterans' and Social Security benefits.

Though Mr. Giuliani himself doesn't give interviews on his living arrangements, his home away from home in a gay family has been reported in the New York press &#0151; and caused no stir whatsoever. (The only controversy has come from reporters questioning whether there is a conflict of interest in the mayor staying with a financial supporter like Mr. Koeppel, who holds unpaid posts on some city advisory boards.) Even the conservative, often gay-baiting cultural warriors who have egged on Mr. Giuliani's bullying decency crusade against the city's museums have remained mum. Does this reflect a sea change in public attitudes, or at least Republican attitudes, about homosexuality &#0151; or is it, in Cindy Adams vernacular, just another passing "only in New York, kids" anecdote exclusively for jaded local consumption?