Their marriage turning stifling after just four years, a young New York couple attempts to escape their ennui by carefully strategizing their own breakup. Blurring the lines between fiction and reality, real-life couple Daryl Wein and Zoe… MoreTheir marriage turning stifling after just four years, a young New York couple attempts to escape their ennui by carefully strategizing their own breakup. Blurring the lines between fiction and reality, real-life couple Daryl Wein and Zoe Lister-Jones star as themselves in order to offer an unguarded exploration of young love, lust, and the hardships of codependency. By exploring alternatives to monogamy, creating arbitrary rules for their relationship, and doing everything in their power to avoid getting emotionally bruised, Daryl and Zoe attempt to discover a means of growing apart, together.

Wein's debut feature is kind of a mess: he withholds and warps the emotions of the main characters till there's little sympathy to be had. But though this tactic is usually enough to derail a film, it works here...

A couple who are bored with their relationship incrementally break up.
<i>Breaking Upwards</i> is a charming, realistic depiction of a couple who… MoreA couple who are bored with their relationship incrementally break up.
<i>Breaking Upwards</i> is a charming, realistic depiction of a couple who are right for each other even though it feels wrong. Strong performances by director/editor/co-writer Daryl Wein and co-writer Zoe Lister Jones carry the film, which has a wry wit and some smart dialogue. And the last shot is truly heart-breaking.
There were few things about the film that I didn't like, but they were so essential to the story that they were impossible to ignore. At the beginning, the stated reason for their break up is that they're both "bored." I recall David Thewlis's monologue from Mike Leigh's <i>Naked</i> in which he rants against people who are bored despite having untold possibilities for engagement: "You have the universe explained to you, and you're bored with it," he says disdainfully. Equally, I recall a former teacher telling me, "If students say they're bored, then they're boring people." I have little patience for characters and real people telling me they're bored, so I was hoping that during the increments of the break-up, past issues would crop up so that we can understand that there is a deeper reason for their split. Most people in their early twenties haven't been hurt enough to deserve ennui.
Also, while on their days off, Daryl and Zoe have no shortage of other suitors. In the construction of the film's plot, this seems like an easy way out. Most often, the choices in real life aren't between a semi-fulfilling relationship and attention from new, flawed suitors (flawed certainly in Zoe's case, but not so much in Daryl's); the choices in real life are between a semi-fulfilling relationship and loneliness, which is a condition that motivates people much more than the lack of fulfillment one finds from fucking one's co-star in a bad off-Broadway play. I wanted to see these characters more vulnerable without each other, which would have made the ending of their relationship so much harder to stomach.
Overall, there is a lot to like about <i>Breaking Upwards</i>, and during all of my future (and one of my past) failed relationships, I'm going to use the phrase "Let's not break up; let's break upwards," but as a film, this indie comedy falls into the trapping tropes that most films of its ilk fall into, making it good enough to make me wish it were so much better.

Walter M.

"Breaking Upwards" starts with Zoe(Zoe Lister-Jones, who wrote, produced and come to think of it does remind me a little of Kristin Scott Thomas) and… More"Breaking Upwards" starts with Zoe(Zoe Lister-Jones, who wrote, produced and come to think of it does remind me a little of Kristin Scott Thomas) and Daryl(Daryl Wein, who directed, wrote, produced and edited) having sex. But this is not the hot, sweaty, furniture wrecking sex of their early relationship, it is the desultory missionary position four years into their relationship sex at a point when they are otherwise totally comfortable with each other. They decide to spend some time apart during the week to bring more energy into their relationship and mutually agree Tuesday has to be one of their together days, so they can watch "American Idol" together which might explain a thing or two.(What? No "Lost" or "The Good Wife?") This way they also have more time to pursue their respective callings. Daryl is struggling as a writer while taking in extra income as a babysitter. Zoe is an actress who auditions for commercials where she competes against amazons, while rehearsing for a play off-off-off Broadway.
While definitely rough around the edges, "Breaking Upwards" is also warm, witty and knowing in its exploration of relationships and their boundaries without any unnecessary car chases. The movie also makes great use of New York City locations, including one scene on Sixth Avenue just down the block from where I watched this. In this city, these characters are at a point where their lives are slowly coming together, post college. In the meaintime, their parents have formed an extended family with each other and are still a huge influence. This can be both a good and a bad thing as they are always there for comfort, food and laundry services but can also set a bad example for the couple.

Alice Shen

A stagnant couple orchestrates an incremental break-up, spending less and less time with each other to cushion the emotional blow. This is a legit indie: low… MoreA stagnant couple orchestrates an incremental break-up, spending less and less time with each other to cushion the emotional blow. This is a legit indie: low budget, mundane humor, leads who are attractive but certainly not glossy and shiny enough so that the audience has expectations. When Daryl and Zoe finally end it, it really hurts.

Quinto Wallight

This is the kind of movie that will mostly, if not only, resonate with people who have been in the same situation as these two characters - which I imagine are… MoreThis is the kind of movie that will mostly, if not only, resonate with people who have been in the same situation as these two characters - which I imagine are far more folks than they would care to admit.

Shawn Ewing

A realistic depiction of both the hardships and growth of a breaking relationship.