Thieves who stole a 17.5m long stone bridge one night have finally been arrested, although they sold the bridge on before it could be recovered.

In November, villagers in the environs of Shanghai reported that the Fengle bridge, a historic 17.5m long stone bridge built in 1907, had disappeared, leaving only two supports standing.

Police eventually solved the mystery when they received a report from someone who had witnessed them dismantling the bridge in September, and had taken down their truck’s registration details.

After tracing the truck’s owner, they were told it had been loaned to the thieves, allowing police to effect the arrest of the two men responsible.

The local police chief says they admit making off with the bridge by cover of night:

“The two men confessed that they used two cranes and two trucks that night to lift and remove the 16 stone pieces that formed the floor of the bridge.”

The stone remains of the bridge were subsequently sold in another province, with the thieves having been paid some 30,000 yuan ($4,700) by a trader to make off with the structure.

A local museum official comments that the area only has 20 bridges left, of the 100 counted a century ago – roads, ruin and theft are cited as causes of this decline. Plans are afoot to rebuild the stolen structure.

I can just see them trying to explain this to people wanting to cross the bridge the next day.

Someguy: What happened to the bridge? Was there a collapse or something?
Officialguy: It was stolen.
Someguy: ……
Someguy: Ha ha, no really. What happened to the bridge?
Officialguy: Somebody. Stole. The. Damned. Thing.
Someguy: If you’re not gonna take this seriously….

I routinely chase people away from the donation area at the local Salvation Army. They’ll pull up and pretend to drop off an item but it’s really an excuse to start shopping while the trunk lid is open. The problem is actually so bad that some of the second hand stores in the city have installed one-way bins with secure drop doors that are bolted to the concrete to prevent them being tipped over.

The absolute worst part is it’s not poor people stealing this stuff. It’s people who are already well dressed and driving nicer cars who you know damn well can afford it.

Hide your wife, hide your kids, hide your husband and even your bridges cause they stealing everybody out here. You don’t have to come and confess! We looking for you! we gonna find you! we gonna find you! so you can run and tell that run and tell that home boy!

And I honestly thought I had seen it all. I mean who the heck steals a bridge, nevertheless *buys* one? “Yeah man I had just finished digging the moat around my house and it works great as a modified makeshift drawbridge”?

And this is why you don’t travel into unreasonable countries. You leave hellholes like China, Iran and Nigeria alone and stay within civilisation and wait for them to ruin themselves into extinction. Optionally, you then take their stuff. If you can’t heed that advice you are most welcome to get yourself detained, fined, jailed, tortured, shot and left to rot without hope for bail or diplomatic intervention to serve as an example to those with similar ideas. Comprende?