Dynamics of the One-Night Stand

The infamous one-night stand; it seems simple enough – just two people using each other’s bodies for a single night of physical desire and carnal pleasure, no strings attached. That’s the theory anyway. See, once you’ve had your fair share of one-night-stands, you realize that it’s not always as simple and straightforward as you expect it to be – unless you have absolutely no standards whatsoever or just happen to like fat chicks with low self-esteem. It’s sort of like a business deal in the sense that you have to (indirectly) negotiate terms and ultimately take the best bargain you can get. Sometimes it’s as easy as putting an offer on the table and having the other party accept. Other times you have to be a salesman and convince them that they need your specific “product” or “service”. But, like any business transaction, remember: if the deal seems too good to be true, it probably is and you’ll end up somehow paying for it later.

Now, the very first thing you need to establish is your targets intent – are they DTF or will they be a challenge? Will she be too much work? What’s her work:reward ratio? Am I willing to sacrifice my entire evening with no promise of reward?

For girls looking to get their rocks off, this is almost never an issue since 99.99% of guys are trying to get laid on any given night. The only time a girl may have to be slightly insidious is if her target is in a committed relationship, but even so, it’s very rare to find this kind of integrity.

For guys, this is huge step in picking your target for the night. Your chances increase by at least 50% if you and your target are on the same page; yet, it is still far from a “sure thing”. Establishing a girl’s intention usually only sets up a mutual playing ground. It’s like asking someone, “Do you play (insert game)”; if the answer is “Yes, I like that game”, then play; if the answer is “No”, if you still want to play, you’re going to have to teach her – and you better be a good coach. Usually, you can tell a girl wants to “play” if:

– She’s promiscuously dancing alone, before midnight

– She’s facing away from her circle of friends, eyes wandering about the room

– She locks eye with you for more than 4-5 second (sometimes less, but 4-5 is a sure thing)

– She initiates physically contact during conversation

– She tells you she just broke up with her “asshole boyfriend”

If you want a challenge and have the game to back it up, you could go for the ladder – a girl not intending to hook up – but I warn you: you better be a fucking a modern day Casanova if you expect to sleep with her that night. You may woo her, get her number, make out with her and even get invited back to her place, but that still doesn’t guarantee you’ll sleep with her. Expect resistance all the way until the actual act itself, and sometimes she’ll even stop you mid-coitus with the “I’ve never done this before” spiel – and yes, you have to stop no matter how seemingly ridiculous and unfair you piece of shit.

One-night stands with two intending parties are not necessarily easy, but it does become smooth sailing after a certain point. When one party is not intending to hook up that night, they will most likely give some sort of resistance throughout the entire night. And if both parties unintentionally have a one-night stand, everything is naturally blamed on the alcohol.

Easy vs. Earned

Some people don’t beat around the bush and simply have an ultimate goal in mind – the easier to obtain the better – while others enjoy the process and like to play things out.

An easy one-night stand is usually more appealing to guys since their penises dictate their every life decision. However, the quality of the ‘easy ones’ is usually drastically subpar. These are usually the nights that you don’t want to get laid, but rather need to get laid. Usually, you have your ‘beer goggles’ on, don’t even bother to remember her name and, IF they find out, you’ll get some shit from your boys the next day. Some self-reflection and self-loathing may also follow in the next couple days. The good news is we’re dudes – we’ll get over it.

Girls, on the other hand, can only have an easy one-night stand if they make it easy since every guy is constantly intending to get