No, it was a very satisfying sexual relationship. Mainly because we openly talked about our desires, in my book a ground rule for every (long term) sexual relationship. Yes, we talked about the implication of her disability, and there was also a uniqueness in a sense that you are forced to be creative, which also has an upside!

Before (and after) her I had various sexual experiences, within and outside of relationships, all with none-disabled women. Since a few years I am married to an amazing woman. She and my ex are friends, an my ex GF is like an aunt to my kids. (Worth mentioning that my wife also works with disabled people and thus was not prejudiced to disabled people.)

Apart from my personal story, I can say this: having an disease or disability has an impact on your sex life. But there is such a wide variation in the way this impact plays out that it's impossible to say anything general about it.

One thing maybe, the most common made mistake: the majority of disabled people have no limitation to what they can feel in a physical sense. Only if the spinal cord is injured, people are likely to have some disturbance in what they can and can't feel. (I say this for the sake of simplicity. There are some other -rare- reasons people can have problems feeling certain parts of their body.)

As you would expect from any 20-something couple with a healthy sexual apatite I guess.

There weren't many things we couldn't do, at least I perceived it like that. She couldn't sit on top of me, but apart from that.. people with Polio aren't paralysed in the sense of feeling less in their body. And she still has a good deal of movement left.

In bed she could move more easily, not having to keep her body upright, so she was able to take the 'active' role if it came up.

I wouldn't know what to say more.. it is a question a lot of people ask (themselves, mostly, I think) and there really is no very exiting answer to it - no pun intended.

One of them is Dutch, the other my mothers language. For the sake of privacy I'll just say: another European language. Sorry I don't feel comfortable to be more precise.

My GF worked as a volunteer in a pre-school program. The children treated her like any of the women working there, but the parents would (sometime openly) question her being there. (Funny: the children would frequently ask her to come play in the sandbox, sit with them on the see-saw and so on. They didn't even realize she had a disability.)

I never was what you call a PSW of my GF. But a LOT of relationships start out that way. Where do people meet their SO? Well, at work is a very logical place off course. So it's a logical thing. In general, people are not allowed to keep working at the same place if they have a relationship with a client. But I must say, people are treated with dignity and most employers actively help people finding a new job. A lot of care facilities have a thought-trough policy on this.

There where always people around in our case, she needs 24/7 on call assistance because she uses a respirator. But we would have the liberty to send them home / cancel them (with pay) if we wanted to be together. They where all very understanding of this fact. (Not a care facility in our case, my GF is their employer.)

I like what you said about the element of support in every relationship. I would not call it medical, bet yes, the 'taking care of' part is bigger compared to an 'average' relationship. Open communication with your partner is key to not letting that become an obstacle in the relationship.

And yes, more people should act normal. Children have a natural curiosity, and my GF wouldn't mind them asking questions or looking. But most of the times their parents would say to them: 'Don't stare'! 'Don't bother that lady'! and quickly pull their child away. Children are made to think of disabled people as being weird that way...

Another copypaste from elswhere in this thread: if we wanted a quiet night together we'd just send the personal assistant home / cancel them (with pay, we're nice folks), and I'd help her go to bed. We just made that part of the fun ;-)

We met at a theatre play we where both attending. She was there with someone I knew from a previous workplace, so we had a drink together. Exchanged phone numbers afterwards. Go on a few nice dates, and before you know it you're in a relationship!

And I'll copypaste from an above answer: We grew apart. Sounds cheesy, but we both developed in different directions. Had nothing to do with her disability. I think it happens in a lot of relationships.. We're still good friends.

47 minutes fast enough for you? (I was expecting most people to read this IAMA at a time I would be asleep. Clearly a lot of people Reddit during the daytime, I got that wrong.)

Funny story: her parents, traditional people from a small very religious town, gave her a newspaper article in the first week they knew about me. It was about how a man who drowned his disabled girlfriend in the bathtub because he couldn't handle it no more.
They turned out to be nice in the long run and liked me very much, just overprotecting. These where folks who don't have TV, no radio, and lived in the most conservative town in the country, wearing traditional clothing etc. Their daughter lived in the big bad city - it was a world they couldn't possibly understand.

Like I said in another comment, my brother thinks I must have been crazy. My parents, a registered nurse and a physician, where used to people looking different if you know what I mean, they where OK with it. Actually, my ex GF still is good friends with my mother.

The general public: well, you get used to the staring and people talking to me instead as to her. If they where really annoying I would pretend to be deaf, which would lead to hilarious situations.

Although my GF only had the second sexiest palsy of them all, I can answer this question.

The moment I met her I fell in love. She was the most beautiful, smart, warm and sexy woman you can imagine (well, she still is). I worked with disabled children at that time (special educations teacher), so I was used to not see 'a disabled' or 'a wheelchair'. A pity lots of people don't want to look further.. or are just scared/ashamed.

She can't walk, but can stand upright with support under one arm, and walk short distances. She uses a respirator at night. Her hands (she has limited power in her arms) are in perfect working order, so one in her wheelchair she gets around just fine.

First up: English is not my first language (but third), please forgive me my horrible writing.

No. It took some time getting used to the fact that there often where other people around. But after a few weeks it just didn't bother me any longer. We were always very clear about the fact that I was not part of the care system she has around herself. We both agreed on that fact from the start. It would be unhealthy.

That being said, off course I did a lot of small things. And if we wanted a quiet night together we'd just send the personal assistant home / cancel them (with pay, we're nice folks), and I'd help her go to bed. We just made that part of the fun ;-)

Only annoying thing was she doesn't drive. So at parties I couldn't drink. But then again, that's not specific for disabled people, just more prevalent. And I'm not a big drinker anyway.

My brother was horrible about it. He said to me: 'So you are going to play a nurse for the rest of your life?'. (But he's an asshole anyway.)