10. You can see outside your window.9. The closest thing to a drug you've ever ate was a "Werther's Original" hard candy.8. If you think "coming out of the closet" means you just decided to show your face after cutting yourself.7. Your bong is so small, it's imaginary.6. You work at any store in your local mall.5. Your umbilical cord is still atattched to you.4. Your name is Thurgood, Joanne, or (the ever-so popular) Johnathan.3. You have less than 3 rock, punk, or metal band posters on your wall.2. You still have a sense of smell.1. You think you're an emo.