Sunday, 7 April 2019

question

I have a question for all you cats out there. Do you, or do you not, sometimes wonder 'bout your peeps? I mean, do you sometimes look at 'em and say to yourself, "How the mouses do they even take care of themselves?" DO you?

Now I bet some of you are thinkin' I'm bein' a little cheeky with that there question, but...

But first of all, I, Seville the Cat have extremely cute cheeks, so if I were bein' cheeky, it'd be okay, for sure.

And secondly...

I AM ASKING A SERIOUS QUESTION.MOUSES!

So I was lookin' up at Peep #1 the other day, and my first thought was, Oh, there's my peep! My second thought was, I wonder if I can convince her I'm starving to death and in desperate need of a snack. And my third thought was, What the mouses is wrong with her hair?

Well things went downhill from there. FAST. They went downhill very, very fast, indeed. It was a super steep slope, you see, and with every passing moment, we were pickin' up speed.

MOUSES!

But back to the issue at paw.

I'm sure some of you cats have been known to bring home a dead mouse or something for your peeps, right? I know I've done it myself.

Okay, so it was actually a dead mole or vole or whatever and not a mouse, but it's the thought that counts, right? Right. MOUSES!

The thing is, we cats do this gifting-of-the-dead-mouse thing not because we're bringing home prezzies. Oh sure, peeps THINK the dead rodents and whatnot are prezzies, but what they really are, are...

Well...

Well what they really are, are examples of what the peeps could be doing for themselves if they were any good at mousing and stuff. That, and offers of giving said peeps, lessons.

MOUSES!

Which brings me back to the peep's hair.

Scratch that. We'll get to her hair in a bit.

Now back to the inability of peeps to fend for themselves. Their inability to catch a good mouse for dinner when a mouse is what is surely needed.

Now you're probably all wondering why-oh-why I have mouse suppers on the brain, along with the age old question of whether or not mice really taste like chicken.

Thing is, spring will soon be here right across this great nation of ours, and with the spring weather, snow is melting, ground is thawing, and mice are making themselves known.

Not at my house, of course, on account of my fur-sibs and I having pretty much moused the place out in previous seasons, which is why we've had to improvise with moles and voles and...

Which reminds me, anyone know the difference between a mole and a vole? Other than the letters 'm' and 'v', of course.

MOUSES!

Now where was I?

Oh yeah, with the onset of spring, I'm gonna be offering my EDUCATIONAL SERVICES - AGAIN - for teaching the peeps how to be mousers, but I'm kinda thinking they're probably still too stupid and lazy to ever learn how.

And this brings me back to what I asked right at the beginnin' of this here blog post. HOW THE MOUSES DO THEY EVEN TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES?

I mean...

I mean, my first peep can't even get a comb through her hair.

At least that's what it looks like to me.

And anyone else who might be lookin'.

Which is why I AGAIN have to ask, "WHAT THE MOUSES IS WRONG WITH HER HAIR?"

I'm tellin' ya, it's looking like a rat's nest, for sure.

Oohhh... I wonder is she's trying to LURE little mousies into that updo of hers like a mousetrap loaded with cheese.

Hey Peepers! You happen to have any cheese in that rat's nest of a hairstyle of yours? 'Cause if you do, were you aware I was in need of a snack?MOUSES!

My animals think I'm a lost cause. Sometimes my cat Jake brings me mice, but he usually eats the best part before giving it to me. Seriously though, what is up with those moles, voles? They probably don't even know what the difference is.

I did hear that humans used to have mice in their hair years ago on account of having dusted their hair with flower. I'm not sure if the hair was ever big enough to warrant having a resident cat in there, but it may be worth exploring a new job role for you with your peep? A few extra mice on the side (or in this case on top) would never go amiss, MOLPurrsERin

My human is actually a better hunter than I am - I need her help to catch anything that gets in the house. Although to be honest, she isn't that great of a hunter either. We'd be in trouble if it weren't for markets!

My human keeps me in the house so I only hunt my tail, usually at 5AM in the middle of the bed, and the dog. But I do get treats whenever the dog goes out so bonus there.I am supposed to be the mouser but since I have never seen one if I did run into one I would probably help it up on the bed so it could cuddle. And I wonder about my humans hair all the time.

Severs, I should send you a pic of my mom's hair, 'cause it TOTALLY meets the definition of a rat's nest. In fact, I feel sorry for any rat, mousie, vole or mole or any lil' beastie that might get entangled up in it. There's nothing that will shut a rooster up in the morning quicker than one look at Mom's morning doo. Tee hee hee. Luv you.