Thoughts on “Salt”

There were a few things I needed this week. But more than anything I needed a date night with myself. Some say it was to mourn the Packers sad loss to the Bears Monday. I say it is because I just needed some me time. So date night it was. Date night with a pretty awesome person. Date night… with me. And so I threw on a pair of Puma pants and my newest tie-dye t-shirt and off I went.

I went to see “Salt.” And that, my friends, is almost as fun to say as it is to say that I went to see “Saw” (Sea salt like from the ocean. Seesaw like the childhood toy at the playground. Get it?).

I never really knew what “Salt” was about until I got there. And then watched it. Then I knew. It was interesting to say the least. And that is about all I can say. Any preexisting ideas I had on the plot were a bit misguided (yet would have made for a far better movie). But it was interesting anyway.

I picked this particular movie for my self-proclaimed date night because I happen to be madly in love with Angelina Jolie. Not literally, obviously, but I think shes a phenomenal actress. And, well, shes adopted some kids. That fact alone is pretty awesome.

And if it wasn’t for her, it is very possible that the movie would have been horrible. Okay. Maybe not horrible, but she was really the only redeeming quality. And by that I mean she is the only thing that really gave the movie any life. Any dimension. It was just a bit, whats the word, dry. Even at the most upsetting points in the movie, the only thing that suggested that I should feel something was her. Her facial expression.

Her awesome delivery of the dialogue.

While trying to listen to some guys bland story, she says, “You’re killing me man. When does the good fairy come in?”

“Never. It is a story without hope.”

And really that is how I felt about “Salt” as that was the only particularly good dialouge in the movie. Nothing else stood out. I thoroughly enjoy quality movie quotes. And, well, this movie just fell short.

All in all, check it out. If you, like myself, are a Angelina Jolie fan. Or if you are simply interested in the plot as I was. Or perhaps you just need a date night of your own, for yourself. It really wasn’t that bad. Just really not that good.

If there is one thing that happened over the course of the night that I found particularly stupid, its people. I got there 15 minutes before the movie started. The theater was empty. It was a Thursday night and the movie had been out for awhile. I sat in the back corner of the theater. 5 minutes before the movie started 2 guys walked in. The theater was still empty aside from me. They knew I was there. They saw me. I saw them see me. They sat 7 seats down from me and proceeded to talk throughout the whole movie. If you’re going to talk during a movie, don’t sit right next to the only other person in the empty theater! I was tempted to start throwing popcorn at them. I had a clear shot. But I decided it wasn’t worth the 50 cents I spent on the three popcorn pieces I would throw at them before getting bored.

Mid-movie I put up a few armrests, spread out over 3.5 seats and cat napped here and there until the movie was over and done with.