Fifty Shades of Dick – An Ode to All Cocks

For the past week I have been wondering what could I give you guys to hold you over until the beginning of the year… Do I just write a piece about sexy gift ideas or do I tell them about a heartwarming story of gay families and the rising of a new day for the gay community? But I thought. FUCK THAT. I’m going to give the merry and cheerful gift of dick. Thanksgiving was three weeks ago, but why not usher in Christmas with that same thankfulness for the greatest damned thing around this motherfucker—DICK. Good ole dick.

There are a billion and four things to love about the sensual, titillating, ferocious, intense, illuminating, majestic, culminating, captivating, and impressive dicks that the men around us deliver when the doctor prescribes! The myriad of dicks make each sexual experience something that everyone can enjoy no matter what end of the spectrum you may fall.

From Big Black Dick and toned white cock to curved and meaty with a hint of foreskin there is no telling what you are going to get when you release the dick from its holding chambers—if anything at all serves as a barrier between your love maker and the outside world. The single most intriguing part of the human body is how we ultimately have the same genitalia, but actualized totally different between us all.

Curved and Anchored

Taking a ride on dick is fun, but when you add in the twist and turns of sliding on a curved dick you have a ride that won’t let you off so easily. Being anchored to your curved partner is sexy on a whole other level. Letting your body mold to the dick’s solid, firm hold and warm skin can present you with an awesome time. For me, the curve is the hook that stops you from running when it gets too good and all you can do is scratch at the sheets and scream at the pillows… JayZ poses a great point in Drunk In Love when he says, “Hope you can handle this curve…” Well, can you? Let’s not forget the feeling of being taken from the back by a mushroom shaped head that takes a nice grip on your rim before it slides over the head intensifying the feeling transmitting all over your body. Just when you think it’s over, there goes that fat head drawing you back down the shaft to a point of no return…

Big Black Cock (BBC)

Big Black Dick has been a fan favorite since the dawn of time. Allowing the melanin rich, thick, and hearty pipe of a sexy black man can send one over the edge. Taking in all of the pressure and intensity passed through your body from the long strokes of the black cock is enough to send cum shooting from your body like a dodging bullet. The oily gleam on a black dick after a swim in an anal oasis reasserts the appeal to its powerful and intimidating vibe. I may be biased because as a gay black man, the BBC served as my ‘training wheels’, and now my resume holds no restraints. Knowing exactly how to please a big dick is amazing, but there is nothing more satisfying than draining the pipe of a sexy and dominating black man. My hope is that your year won’t end without you seeing what stops people from ever going back…

Teeny-Weeny (Small Cock)

Not all men have the blessings of the Mandingo… some men fall beneath the marker we have set for ‘average’, but that is okay because not everyone is built for a love that deep. Small penises have a special place in the world and command attention and respect all the same—do you all think your dads have big dicks? NO! It’s totally fine to boast a smaller penis. There are tons of things to appreciate about having a rendezvous with a small dick! There’s less of a deep prep needed for sex, there is no soreness involved usually (read HERE about a painful small dick), and let’s not mention that guys with small dicks usually must make up for it with mouth and hands… Pair the small dick sex with head intermittently and you have a great compromise (and yes, I’m saying that if your dick is small you must give extraordinary head.)

Cut and Uncut Cock

No matter what you prefer, you have to reverence the fact that exquisite dick comes in all shapes and forms… Whether you have been nipped or have a strong ‘pull back’ game, you have to know how to use what you got either way, or else it don’t matter. (Big dick can suck, too, bro.)

The feeling of the head playing peek-a-boo with your tongue through foreskin or the bottom of his mushroom head sliding across your tongue can all provide immense satisfaction to both. In America especially, the uncut cock causes plenty controversy, but isn’t something that should be feared. Embrace the love from the foreskin that’s keeping the head constantly prepared for easy insertion into your love mound. Maybe you appreciate the straight to the point, no frills involved love making that comes on the tip of circumcised dicks ready to dive head first into your pleasure point. Either way, we shall take time to appreciate the passion they bring to their respective partners who make sure all dicks, cut or uncut, have equal opportunity at orgasm!

Dicks with Character

Ever saw a dick with a birthmark? What about super veiny that damn near let you see the blood pumping throughout? Ever saw a dick grow as much as a slinky making a descent downstairs as it hardened? These dicks are the wild cards in the bunch and remind you of the individuality of every person and that all our dicks are different and catered to our own personal body. I’ve enjoyed a few dicks that weren’t picturesque per say, but were intriguing and brought a different spice to our encounters. To those who are growers being unappreciated until final form, for those boasting chocolate chip birthmarks to add to the deliciousness of their cock, and to the boys with a pipe that comes ribbed with a pulsing beat—we thank you for existing. You’re the gift too many of us don’t know we need.

Cum Shots—the Point of It All

All that sucking, gagging, spitting, stroking, licking, and crying on the dick isn’t just for the visual, but in hopes that this man will finally fill any orifice on your body with warm, creamy, salted semen in all of its distinct glory. Not many people take the time to discuss that cum shots are about as diverse as the dick itself! Whether you’re a shoot, ooze, cum a lot, or just a little, there is another dimension to sex when you take in the beauty of a nice cum shot. For those of us who still pull out these days, the cum shot is the pay off at the end of a scene. You never know what you’re going to get through the ureters of a horny ass man whose tightening muscles, grinding teeth, scratching hands, stupid face, and uncontrollable moans signify he is ready to give you a liquid shot of his love. Sex isn’t complete just because you stopped and got dressed—you must cum. This Christmas I am offering anyone I’ve had sex with who didn’t cum the opportunity to handle our unfinished business… That list is empty because my sole mission during an encounter is making sure I leave an impression ingrained on the inner walls of his long term memory.

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Kristopher Welcome

Kris Welcome is a writer based in Los Angeles, CA. Currently, he serves as a copywriter where he manages several blogs, including Pics Of Men, Gay Hub, and Big Cam Tube.
Kris is from Texas and has lived in California since 2014. Mr. Welcome has been a writer as long as he can remember and has worked to derive a writing style that's versatile and rounded, but still reflective of one voice.
Kris has a BA in Communication with minor concentration in journalism from Texas Southern University and a MFA in Producing for TV/Film from New York Film Academy-Burbank. He has written for The Voice of Southwest Louisiana, BallerAlert, and Curb Networks, among others.
Soul food enthusiast. Southern gentleman. Beach bum. Pisces. Guy with the Afro.