Some confessions of a happy mom

April 13, 2012

Dear Max

As wonderful as it was being away, it’s so wonderful being home. Cliched as this will sound, but you have changed – you have a few more words under your belt, and you’re chattier and “older”. I guess for a mom, five days away equate to hours of longing from this side, and time developing on your side.

This morning you went to school with your truck pyjama top on, complete with a chocolate ice cream mark from dessert last night. And that was easier than arguing with you. And as I took you to school with your fleece truck top, I realised how many “rules” I break, how many times it’s easier to let things go for when I have no answers about why they should be done in the first place.

And that’s how I parent now, and I don’t know if it’s right or wrong, but it’s working for now. So this is how it works: you want an ice cream for breakfast, after your banana? Well, why not? I can’t think of a good enough reason to say no, to have a toddler tantrum on my hands, and to upset you. And let’s face it, that ice cream is probably healthier than the sugar-laden cereal you shun. The same with dressing you in the mornings. Does it matter that you go to school in pjs? Does it mean you won’t have fun, that your friends won’t play with you, or that you’ll get ill? No. Will it impede your development if you go to sleep clutching the iPad, past “normal” bedtime? Until the experts say otherwise, I’m sticking to that routine.

And lest the moms who judge me so vehemently (they are out there) freak out, there are some non-negotiables that have a clear answer. These include issues around safety (being strapped in a seat for example), manners (saying please and thank you), and being mindful of people’s feelings and possessions.

This post makes me happy! Jae goes to bed past ‘normal’ bedtime. This whole week she has eaten Easter Eggs on the way to school. Some days she goes to school in the top she went to bed in. And once, when I had forgotten to take her pjs to Dads house, she went to school in the track suit that she went to sleep in. She thought that that was an amazing idea, and that we should always go to sleep in our school clothes!

My daughter I happy, she is honest, she is polite, she is loving, she worries about all the animals in the world and she loves her friends with all her heart, and she is kind.

Love this post. I so agree with you. There are the non-negotiables like safety & manners, but I am really not going to fight with my kids if they want to eat/wear/do something that really doesn’t harm anyone/thing. The path to peaceful kids is really a give & take approach for both kids & parents.

My boy went to Granny in his (very lovely Carter’s fleecey) PJ’s this morning. Not worth the tantrum that would have been thrown if I had forced him to change. Luckily for me, his school is still on holiday, as I imagine the scenario would have been somewhat more difficult if it was a school day! (Although he has worn Ben 10 t-shirts every day of the week before.) Toddlers! Gotta love the, 🙂

My boy went to Granny in his (very lovely Carter’s fleecey) PJ’s this morning. Not worth the tantrum that would have been thrown if I had forced him to change. Luckily for me, his school is still on holiday, as I imagine the scenario would have been somewhat more difficult if it was a school day! (Although he has worn Ben 10 t-shirts every day of the week before.) Toddlers! Gotta love them 🙂