Floridians Love Their Guns So Much They’re Fighting For A Student’s Right To Fashion One Out Of A Pop-Tart

I knew Floridians loved their guns – I just didn’t know that loved extended to the baked goods variety. Florida legislators are working to keep students from getting in serious trouble for simulating a weapon with objects like Pop Tarts, their fingers or anything else their little minds can conceive.

They are referring to it as the “Pop Tart” bill, after the case of the Maryland student who chewed a Pop Tart into the shape of a gun and was suspended. Maybe he shouldn’t have been suspended for that – but I’m more alarmed that the NRA rallied around him. I shouldn’t be surprised by this, because gun. They gave the boy a lifetime membership. I wish I was kidding.

The bill would bar schools from suspending students for using their flourishing imaginations to form mock instruments of death. While I think it’s ridiculous to suspend a student for basically nibbling on a toaster pastry – I do like the zero tolerance stance against “guns” of any kind. Rules are rules – if you make a rule that a child can’t fashion a mock weapon out of anything – than he or she can’t fashion a weapon out of anything. Why rally behind this anymore than you would rally behind eating in class or screaming in the halls or any other stupid thing that could get a child suspended?

It would prevent students from facing disciplinary action for wearing clothes that depict guns or “express an opinion regarding a right guaranteed by the Second Amendment.” It would allow administrators to take action if a toy disrupts learning or poses a legitimate threat.

“This is addressing a zero-tolerance policy that often will not allow people to use common sense because their hands are tied,” said Castor Dentel, who has taught at several Central Florida elementary schools.

I get that this could veer into the ridiculous. I am just inclined to support a no-tolerance policy when it comes to something as serious as guns and gun violence.