The month of May is still with us in Episode 5 of Series/Season 6 of “Downton Abbey.” Nothing guarantees a dining disaster better than using a meal as a stage for a verbal battle. The dowager doesn’t need claws to get the Minister of Health over to Downton Abbey. Sometimes, being old doesn’t make one wise, but it can give one another type of intelligence. Yet things go off even worse than anyone could have planned and the dowager is downed by an unexpected event that has Cora taking her gloves off and Mary being dubbed “Queen Mary” by Tom. Then there’s the matter of love and its winding path and other types of queens.

Daisy replies, “His equipment’s already there. And the Drewes leave on Wednesday, so there’s no point in waiting.”

“And what about his old farm?,” Mrs. Patmore asks.

Daisy explains, “Mr Henderson’s taken over the land. He’s going to move his uncle into the house, much good may it do him.”

Mrs. Patmore comments, “Nay. There’s no need for bitterness now. Things have worked out well.”

Daisy calms down a bit and says, “You’re right.”

Mrs. Patmore has an idea, “Oh, I tell you what. Why don’t we go over on the day? We’ll take a picnic tea and lend him a hand.”

Andy (Michael Fox) happens by and volunteers, “I could come, too. Another pair of hands.” So it becomes a welcome party of three.

Upstairs, Edith (Laura Carmichael) is talking with her father, Robert (Hugh Bonneville). She’s had a message from Bertie (Harry Hadden-Paton) who wants to meet her in London. Violet (Maggie Smith) comes in and begins plotting, “Is Cora about?”

Robert admits, “Er, no, she’s got some charity thing in the village.”

Violet, then proceeds, “Oh, good.”

Robert is worried, saying, “Why don’t I like the sound of that?”

Edith wisely gets out while she can, saying, “I’ll leave you.”

Violet confides, “The Minister of Health is paying us a visit.”

Robert hasn’t heard anything about that and replies, “Mr Chamberlain? I don’t think so.”

Violet explains, “Now, listen. He’s on an inspection tour of the north. He wants to see what’s been happening since the war.”

Of course, that seems normal, and while Robert says, that “seems very sensible” he hasn’t either invited nor received news from the Minister of Health.

Violet gets to the point, “And I want him to come here. I want him to listen to our arguments against the York Hospital’s plans.”

Robert can only ask, “Mama, what is the point? Don’t be jejune.” The word “jejune” (jejunely and jejuneness) means lacking in nutritive value or devoid of significance or interest.

Violet explains, “You know very well, one word from Westminster and the scheme would be abandoned.”

Still Robert wonders, “But why would he say the word, and why would he ever come to Downton?”

Yet Violet knows something that Robert does not. “You know, Neville Chamberlain’s wife was born Anne de Vere Cole. Guess who was her godfather.”

Robert doesn’t want to play any games with his mother. “You guess for me.”

Violet replies, “Your late papa, the sixth Earl of Grantham. He and her father served in the Crimea together when they were young. I have known her since she was born.”

Robert is not convinced. “I admit I am quite interested, but when it comes to getting him here, I would say you have no more chance than a cat in hell without claws.” But Violet is a cat in hell with a sharp intelligence and that works well enough. Violet sends Isobel with a message that the Health Minister will be dining at Downton Abbey on Friday. Cora then asks that Dr. Clarkson (David Robb), Lord Merton (Douglas Reith) and Isobel (Penelope Wilton) come to the meal to support Cora. Isobel says, “Aye aye, captain.”

Downstairs, Mr. Bates (Brendan Coyle) and Anna (Joanne Froggatt) learn why Andy is avoiding Mr. Barrow (Rob James-Collier). Andy admits, “And he was good to me when I first arrived. Well, since I’ve come, I’ve got to know a bit more about him. I don’t like to say with a lady present. The point is, I wouldn’t want to give him any wrong ideas…Fair or not, I think it’s better if he knows what’s what. I bear him no ill will, mind you.” Andy doesn’t want a boyfriend so he can’t be a friend.

This particular evening, Mr. Carson (Jim Carter) has decided that he and his wife will be dining at home. Mrs. Patmore has made a basket with leftover paté and some chops. Mrs. Hughes/Carson (Phyllis Logan) is grateful for the basket, but Mr. Carson is not. Carson is only slightly perturbed that his wife has told Mr. Molesley (Kevin Doyle) he can go with Miss Baxter (Raquel Cassidy) on Wednesday morning to support her because Sergeant Willis “needs her help.”

Carson is indirectly critical of the meal, but he notes, “This plate’s cold which is a pity.” He’s not totally pleased with bubble and squeak as a vegetable with lamb, but Mrs. Carson says, “I like it with lamb.” Then Mr. Carson notes, “This knife could do with sharpening.” For those who don’t know bubble and squeak is shallow-fried leftover vegetables, usually potato and cabbage with other vegetables such as carrots, peas and other left over vegetables added. One guesses that bubble and squeak aren’t on the menu at Downton Abbey.

If the dowager means to stir things up upstairs, things are also getting stirred up downstairs. Violet has learned that Doctor Clarkson no longer supports local control of their hospital. Denker tells Spratt, “He doesn’t want to support her ladyship any more. What cheek!”

Denker goes on, “Because you can’t. Tell me, what would you call it? Gratitude? Because I’d call it treason.”

The doctor replies, “Would you? Well, I call it impertinence, to a degree that is not acceptable.”

Denker doesn’t back down, replying, “And I’m afraid you haven’t heard the last of this.” And neither have we.

The downstairs staff at Downton Abbey are concerned with being kind. Mrs. Patmore and Daisy are preparing a nice basket to welcome Mr. Mason to the farm. Andy is joining them. Mr. Molesley and Baxter are being taken to the trial by Sergeant Willis so that Miss Baxter can testify against the man who ruined her life as a character witness.

At the trial, the defendant changes his plea. Miss Baxter meets Mr. Moseley outside of the courtroom as the sergeant fetches the car.

Moseley comments, “I expect when he heard that you turned up, he must’ve known it was pointless.”

Baxter replies, “So I’ve been spared.” Remember, it was Moseley who convinced her to testify and Baxter wasn’t eager to do so originally. “In one way, I feel relieved, of course. The newspapers won’t find me and there’ll be no repercussions. I suppose I’d worked myself up into facing him across courtroom, this man who ruined my life, and now it feels a bit anticlimactic.”

Moseley attempts to lighten her mood and asks, “Shall I go back in and ask him to plead not guilty after all?”

Elsewhere, Tom and Mary are making a day of racing cars and pigs. First they are deciding upon a spot for the repair shop. Afterward, they will join Henry Talbot who is coming down to look at a car.

Mary says, “It’s good of you to come with me today.”

Tom smiles, but replies, “Glad to, but he won’t want me there.”

Mary denies that, “Nonsense. You have far more in common with him than I do.”

Tom understands that he is some sort of a chaperone and asks, “Is it serious?”

Mary won’t commit to this relationships, confessing, “He’s attractive and nice, and it’s good to remember I’m a youngish woman again. But that’s all.”

Tom doesn’t believe her, “Youngish?”

Now we get an explanation from Mary, “I don’t mean to sound snobbish, but I won’t marry down.” Isn’t that always a concern for women?

Tom doesn’t buy her reply, asking, “Was Mr Matthew Crawley so very special in that way?”

Ah, and remember how long it took for Mary and Matthew to get together? Mary replies, “Matthew was the heir to the earldom and estate. I don’t want to be grander than my husband.”

Tom can’t help adding, “Or richer.” He has more advice on the topic though and continues, “It may surprise you, but I agree it’s important to be balanced, that one should not be far stronger than the other. I just don’t think it has much to do with money or position.”

Mary asks, “Is that how you felt about Sybil?”

Tom explains, “To all of you, she had everything and I had nothing. She was the great lady, and I the man who drove the cars, but that wasn’t true for us. We were evenly matched, Sybil and I. She was strong in her beliefs, so was I. We were a marriage of equals. We were very happy.”

Mary admits, “I think we see that now. The family, I mean. Not at first, you’re right.”

Mary then begins, “Very well. Of course, I understand you have a lot of experience.”

Mr. Mason assures her, “A great deal. I’m top at pigs.”

Tom interjects, “But Lady Mary is a little worried about the physical side of it.” For those city slickers watching, he gets more specific, saying, “Prising a boar off a sow or taking the piglets from their mother.”

Mr. Mason understands and reacts to the ageism, “Is this because I’m older than I was?”

Ever the peacemaker, Tom adds a hint, “Of course, you may have already chosen a farm hand to help you.”

Suddenly Andy reveals his hand, “We’ve discussed it, Mr Mason and I. He’ll give me warning when there’s any chance of a bit of strong arm and I’ll walk down from the house.”

Tom attempts to be specific, “So you’ll be there for the servicing, and the separating and the rest of it?”

Andy replies, “We’ll plan it round when Mr Carson can release me. It’s not every day.”

Mary adds, “That’s very good of you, Andrew.”

Andy explains, “I want to train in the care of pigs, m’lady. I want to learn as much as I can about farming.”
Mary and Tom then take their leave, saying, “We’re on our way to Catterick and we’re late.” Once they are gone, Andy tells Mr. Mason that he wasn’t lying. He really does want to learn about pigs. “Well, I do want to train.
I do want to learn. It were no word of a lie.”

In London, Edith making arrangement to meet Bertie in the evening. He tells her more about his cousin. Edith asks, “Why does Lord Hexham spend so much time in Tangier?”

Bertie says, “I agree. He’s not really a country type. More arty than sporty, if you know what I mean.”

Edith asks, “He doesn’t hunt or shoot?”

Bertie replies, “Hardly. He paints.”

Edith asks, “What does he paint?”

Now we get to the gist of things that the Lord is perhaps a different type of queen as Bertie replies, “The young men of Tangier, mainly. You know, scenes of local life.”

Edith asks, “And he’s never wanted to marry?”

Bertie explains, “I wouldn’t quite say that. It’s always been sort of understood that he and his cousin, Adela Graham, will marry eventually.”

Edith asks, “Understood by whom?”

Bertie replies, “By the two sets of parents.” If Edith was really up on the downstairs then she’d think of introducing the Lord to Mr. Barrow. Barrow once had an affair with the Duke of Crowborough (Charlie Cox) while the Crawleys were in London during the summer. This conversation might some of another wildly popular British series, “Brideshead Revisited.” In the novel, Lord Sebastian Flyte (played by in Jeremy Irons in the 1981 serialization) is the younger son of the Marquis of Marchmain and his estranged wife and ends his life an alcoholic in Morocco.

Edith extends a “racy” invitation to Bertie to meet her at her London flat because she wants his opinion and then the scene switches to actual racing: Tom and Mary watch Henry race his friend Charlie. Mary doesn’t like the risks they take. And that is the critical point: “But they take such risks. I hate it. I just hate it.”

Tom gently comments, “There’s no such thing as slow motor racing. And there’s no such thing as safe love.
Real love means giving someone the power to hurt you.”

Mary admits, “Which I won’t concede easily.” Henry does win and wants to celebrate at a pub in Catterick. Charlie must go home, but Henry invites Mary and Tom, saying, “Just let me get changed.”

“Help him to enjoy it. You don’t have to marry him, but you do have to let him enjoy this moment,” Tom says. Catterick is a village in North Yorkshire. While Henry changes and he and Mary and Tom travel to Catterick, we go back to Yew Tree Farm.

Andy is definitely not allowed to enjoy the moment because Mr. Mason asserts that “I’ll make a pig man of you yet” but adds, “I’ll lend you some books when we go inside. On pig breeding and care. You need to know the theory of it. You’ll be glad of the knowledge. It makes the work more logical.”

In Catterick, Henry asks, “Oh, you don’t know the place?”

Mary explains, “You’ll laugh at me, but I’ve hardly ever been in a public house. Matthew wasn’t really a pub man and Papa goes into the Grantham Arms about once a year to have a drink with the tenants.”

Henry responds, “Well, I wasn’t convinced it would be, but it is. You must have a go sometime.”

Tom quickly responds, “I hope that’s a real offer.”

Henry replies, “You know, I didn’t realize you were so keen, Tom. Blast! You could have driven her today.”

In case you forgot, Tom reminds us all, “You know I came to Downton as a chauffeur?”

Henry explains, “Oh, Mary told me. But then, not every chauffeur has a real love of cars.”

Tom replies, “That’s true enough.”

Then the talk turns to Mary as Henry comments, “Oh, I’ll tell you who was talking about you the other day. Evelyn Napier.”

Mary coolly asks, “Oh, how is he?”

Henry replies, “He’s well. Still single, of course, and, I suspect, still pining for you.”

Mary says, “He will pine in vain, but I’m very fond of him.”

Henry sums up the situation as “La Belle Dame sans Merci.”

Not knowing French, Tom asks, “What does that mean?”

Henry replies, “It means Lady Mary knows what she’s about.”

Tom can’t help but be amused by the rules of this upper class courtship. Henry says to Mary, “Tell you what, next time you’re down south, why don’t we all have dinner?”

Mary naturally responds, “I’d love that.”

Tom comments, “You are funny. The way you have to keep making reasons for why you’ll meet. You to watch him drive cars, you to have dinner with a friend. Why can’t you just say, ‘I’d love to spend more time with you. When can we do it?'”

Mary looks at Henry and says, “You see? He may have assimilated in some ways, but he still fights playing by the rules.”

The phrase “La belle dame sans merci” means the beautiful woman without mercy. Evelyn Napier (Brendan Patricks) was indirectly the cause of much grief for Mary. After her fiancée Patrick died on the Titanic, Napier writes to marry to give his condolences. Lady and Lord Grantham discussed him with the Dowager Countess Violet. All agree that Napier would be a good match for Mary. Napier was invited to a hunt and Mary rode with him, but Napier brought his friend Kemal Pamuk (Theo James) with him. Kemal Pamuk and Mary have a one-nighter with Kemal dying in her bed. Mary attempts to avoid scandal by taking him back to his guest room with the help of her mother Cora and the then-head housemaid Anna.

Much later, Napier informs Mary that there’s a rumor circulating about her and Pamuk after Pamuk’s death. He’s the one that discovered that Edith is the source of those rumors because she wrote a letter to the Turkish ambassador. Napier himself declines to court Mary because he knows he bores her and he feels that while he isn’t the most interesting person, his wife at least should find him interesting. Her fling with Pamuk is another obstacle between Mary and Matthew when she can’t bring herself to tell him about it.

Napier also requests to come to Downton Abbey after he is wounded in World War I so that he may recover. During Series/Season 4, after Matthew has left Mary a widow, he and his boss, Charles Blake, are involved in a government project that assesses the estates and their chances of continuing as well as other factors related to the rural economy.

In London, Edith finds a new female editor, one who was born in the very same year that she was. They even decide upon a topic to pursue: Victorian babies grown into modern women.

Back at Yew Tree Farm, Mr. Mason has asked Daisy to come live at the farm. It would only be a 20-minute walk to the big house where she would continue to work. Andy comments, “This place is like heaven to me.” Andy was a city boy and when Mrs. Patmore notes, “You never set foot off a pavement for 18 years, and now it’s all harvests and pig farming,” he explains, “Well, not everyone’s right for what they’re born to.”

Mr. Mason gives him five books which he takes back to Downton and he isn’t exactly happy. He looks at them glumly alone downstairs when Mr. Barrow comes in. Andy says, “Mr Mason’s lent me some books on pig-rearing and farming, generally. I’m going to help with the pigs.”

Mr. Barrow is cautious, saying only, “Oh, I see. Which will you start with?”

Daisy isn’t either. When Mrs. Patmore comments that he must be lonely, she defensively says, “He’s not lonely.He’s lived on his own for years. He’s used to it. He was just being polite. I expect he was longing for us to go.”

Later that evening in the servants quarters, there’s a crash. Mr. Barrow looks in on Andy who is alone and picking up the lamp. Mr. Barrow asks, “How did that happen?”

Andy explains, “I threw a book and it caught it.”

Mr. Barrow replies, “Oh, yes. The red one. Why did you throw it? Why did you throw the book, Andy? You can’t read, can you?”

Andy admits, “No. I can’t bloody read! Go on! Have a good laugh about it!”

Yet Mr. Barrow remains calm, saying, “I’m not laughing. You’ve been good at hiding it. I must say that. Flicking through your magazines.”

Andy confesses, “I only look at the pictures.”

Mr. Barrow asks what we’re all wondering, “Why did you not learn at school?”

Andy gives a warning to all young students, “I fooled around until it was too late. I learned how to sign my name, which was all I needed in service.”

Mr. Barrow then realizes, “But now you want to be a farmer.”

Andy says, “I could be a farm laborer, but I want more than that. And if I can’t read, then it won’t be possible.
So another dream goes west.”

Mr. Barrow then carefully says, “It doesn’t have to. I’ll teach you to read and write, too, if you want.”

Andy isn’t convinced, “I must be too stupid. I’ve never picked it up so far, and I would have if I had half a brain.”

Mr. Barrow kindly states, “That’s not true. You’re a clever lad. You will get the hang of it. Trust me.”

Andy worries that his secret will be out, “But what would the others say?”

Mr. Barrow says, “We won’t tell them. We’ll talk about it in the morning, all right?”

Before Mr. Barrow can leave his room, Andy confesses, “Mr Barrow. I’ve not behaved well towards you. And I’m sorry for it.”

Mr. Barrow admits, “I’ve known worse.”

Elsewhere, Mr. Carson is grateful for the dinner Mrs. Patmore provided, but asks, “But another time, I wonder if you might go through the cooking of it with Mrs Hughes. It’s been a while since she’s played with her patty pans, and she’s got some catching-up to do.” He then asks his wife, “You’d be glad of the help, wouldn’t you?”

With the dowager Countess on the war path, Robert is feeling queasy that he’s caught in between his mother and his wife. Violet’s lady’s maid Denker has outrageously confronted the doctor in broad daylight and while Violet has been entertaining Isobel, Violet gets a written account from the doctor.

Violet states, “It is not your place even to have opinions of my acquaintance. Let alone express them.”

Denker doesn’t know when to leave well enough alone and continues, “He can’t claim your friendship now, not when he’s turned against you.”

Violet replies, “If I withdrew my friendship from everyone who had spoken ill of me, my address book would be empty. For a lady’s maid to insult a physician in the open street! You’ve read too many novels, Denker. You’ve seen too many moving pictures.”

Denker is still without remorse, saying, “I was sticking up for you” as if Violet needed someone to defend her.

Violet replies, “And for that, I will write a tepid character, which may enable you to find employment elsewhere.
But from this house, you must go, forthwith.”

Isobel asks, “Are you sure? I can’t believe Doctor Clarkson could wish her to lose her position.”

Violet calmly replies, “Then he shouldn’t have sent it. When we unleash the dogs of war, we must go where they take us.”

Denker isn’t quite done works on Spratt. If you recall, Spratt gave shelter to his convict nephew in the garden shed. Denker warns Spratt that if she loses her job, then Spratt will go down as well. When “Downton Abbey” first started Barrow had been a footman who hoped to become the valet of Lord Grantham. That plan was thwarted when John Bates was hired. Barrow and Lady Grantham’s lady’s maid Sarah O’Brien plotted together to bring Bates down. Mr. Barrow had made a pass at Kemal and it was Barrow who under threat by Kemal, revealed where Mary Crawley’s room was. He knew that Kemal had been to Mary’s room and yet he discovered Kemal’s dead body back in the room where Kemal had been sleeping. During that first season, Daisy had a crush on Barrow.

Spratt gives good advice and is more likable now then when he was sabotaging poor Mr. Moseley. He tells Denker, “I told her your crime was an excess of loyalty, that your devotion to her had made you blind.” Violet is willing to give Denker one more chance.

Violet’s machinations are also causing concern at Downton Abbey. Cora and Robert are not looking forward to this dinner they are hosting. Robert warns, “Mama is not a good loser. She’s had so little experience.” He then asks his wife, “You couldn’t just back off and let the cards fall as they may.”

Cora will have none of it. She replies, “Robert, for 30 years, I’ve striven to let your mother have her own way but this is too important.”

On the day of the dinner, Violet is in rare form. She tells Neville Chamberlain she recalls his wife Anne saying, “You know, I remember so well when you and she were young and carefree, looking for fun wherever you could find it.”

Chamberlain replies, “I know you do.”

Violet replies, “Yes, well, but I always say, let the past stay in the past.”

Tom comes to Chamberlain’s rescue by asking him if he wants a drink and tells him, “I thought you needed rescuing. Our own scrapes are bad enough without being dragged into other people’s.” He then warns him, “I’m afraid you’re in for some rigorous debate.”

At the meal, Violet is on the attack. Chamberlain comments, “I thought I was here to be lectured by a united group, not to witness a battle royal.”

Violet is surprised and asks, “Oh! Don’t you enjoy a good fight?”

Chamberlain admits, “I’m not sure I do, really.”

Cora comments, “My mother-in-law has a certain myopia when it comes to anyone else’s point of view.”

Violet shoots back, “On the contrary, I have a clarity of vision that allows me to resist a housemaid’s trap of sentimentality.”

Robert interrupts in a literally bloody manner. His ulcer has burst and an ambulance is called. Cora takes command while Robert tells her “If this is it, just know I have loved you very, very much.”

Cora tells Violet, “Don’t reprimand me, Mama, I think the new system will be better and I haven’t got time to be diplomatic.” She also adds, “There’ve been too many secrets. Let’s have no more of them.”

Violet can only say, “If you mean Marigold, that’s settled and you know I am sorry.” Edith originally confided in Rosamund and Violet about Marigold. Yet this remark strikes Mary as odd and she wonders about it after her father and mother leave for the hospital. At this point, Mr. Drewe, Rosamund, Violet, Rosamund and Thomas know about Marigold.

Downstairs, the servants hurry about, getting coats for the ladies. Mr. Carson is quite shaken and Mr. Barrow is surprised that he is relieved that his lordship will pull through.

As the only one left at Downton, Tom bids Chamberlain good-bye, but finds out that it was a youthful prank that Violet knew about that brought him to Downton.

Chamberlain explains, “My wife has a brother called Horace de Vere Cole. You may have heard of him.”

Tom says, “The prankster? Didn’t he board a warship pretending to be the leader of a Turkish delegation?”

Chamberlain corrects him, “Abyssinian, but yes. He was always doing that sort of thing. Some years ago, he and a few friends dug a trench across Piccadilly and London was thrown into total chaos. I was one of the chaps responsible. We dressed as workmen and no one stopped us. And by the time we’d finished every road was jammed from the East End to Belgrave Square.”

Now Tom understands, “And old Lady Grantham threatened to give you away?”

Chamberlain admits, “It was long ago now, but the papers would be sure to make it look as bad as possible and a dinner seemed a price worth paying to avert it.”

After her father’s gastrectomy, Mary returns home and she tells Tom that from now on they will be in charge of the estate because her father needs to have less tress, but concedes, “We’ll involve him in the big decisions of course, but he mustn’t have any more worry.”

Tom says, “So long live our own Queen Mary.” Cora now takes over as head of the Grantham family, but Mary will rule the estate as Edith attempts not to “dawdle in Mary’s wake” by finding a purpose in her magazine and a possible future with Bertie now that they have shared a kiss.

“Downton Abbey” Series/Season 6 Episode 5 aired on PBS on Jan. 31, 2016 and is now available online.

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Published by Jana J. Monji

I've written for the Rafu Shimpo, LA Weekly, LA Times, Examiner.com and, more recently, the Pasadena Weekly and RogerEbert.com. I formerly worked for a dot-com more interested in yodeling than its customers.
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