In a weird twist of fate, I came to inherit a collection of pornographic novels from the ’60s. Among these books, however, were some, ahem, “educational materials,” including The Art of Erotic Seduction (1967), by the notable psychiatrist Dr. Albert Ellis (pictured), a book aimed at young boys on the topic of getting into ladies’ pants. Throughout, Ellis explains — in hilarious detail and outdated (now) language — makeout tactics, the logic behind the female psyche (ha!), and eventually, how to engage her in “soul kissing.” Here, some passages to entertain.In the chapter “Light Petting: “The Clothes Problem”:

1. Bathing suit. Complete lovemaking is well nigh impossible if your girl is wearing a one-piece bathing suit. Only a magician will be able to have intercourse with her in that attire; and even getting at her breasts is often a difficult task. The main thing, under these circumstances, is to induce her to take off as much of the suit as possible; and if you warm her up while it is still on, you may be able to persuade her to do this … 7. A dress, sweater, or blouse that zips or buttons in the front. All these items are handled in essentially the same way. You can unfasten them by hand or by mouth … You can intersperse this process with the use of your mouth. “Educated” lips can unbutton most buttons and unzip most zippers.

“Heavy Petting in Spite of Clothing”:

Clothes are quite a problem! In the course of trying to engage in heavy petting with a girl, you may encounter rubber pants, a girdle with a crotch … how can you pet under these different conditions? As follows: 1. Rubber pants (note: what on earth are those anyhow?) – These are the invention of the devil. Pet the girl through her skirt and get to the genital region and when you have sufficiently aroused her ask her to take them off … by hook or crook, get those goddamn pants off!

“Petting Techniques Without Clothing”:

“The Doodle Bug.” Stroke the circumference of the base of the clitoris in a circular motion. A slow, lazy, easy motion is often best in this regard; but some women are more stimulated by a faster, and even a very rapid motion.

In “Approaches to Kissing,” Dr. Ellis outlines a few different tactics including the “car exit approach,” the “drive-in or hamburger approach,” and “the standing approach. There’s also “the Louise Lift approach”: “Pick her up (she will grab you around the neck and giggle), wait until she stops giggling—then kiss her.” As well as”the stoplight approach: “(a) you are stopped for a light. Start to reach into the glove compartment, stop midway, put your left hand on her jawbone and kiss her. (b) Use the hairline approach at one light and take it to the lips at the next.”