Respect Differences

Respect Differences

When stress is high your partner may crave emotional and physical space. He may manage his anxiety by intensifying work-related projects or withdrawing into technology or sports. Your way of navigating stress, however, may be to press for more togetherness. His way is not necessarily better or worse than yours — just different.

While it's ideal to strike a balance between separateness and togetherness that works well for your spouse and yourself, we all have different needs for space and closeness at different times. Marriage requires a profound respect for differences. The lesson? Try not to judge the distancer.

Don't Take It Personally

Don't Take It Personally

You may be married to a private guy who doesn't want to debrief after every dinner party or talk in detail about the symptoms of his stomach flu. If you can see your partner's need for privacy and space less personally, you'll be able to calmly invite more connection, rather than anxiously or angrily demanding it.