Things Suddenly Not Looking So Great for R. Kelly

Photo: AP

Bad news for fans of wonderful music: Today, in R. Kelly’s child-pornography trial, Lisa Van Allen, the case’s most controversial witness is reportedly set to testify that Kelly paid her “tens of thousands of dollars” to return a video tape of her and the R&B singer engaged in a threesome with his alleged victim (though, the defense purportedly claims, she’ll also have to answer questions about her “botched extortion attempt”). Additionally, yesterday, Linda Perryman, a onetime assistant to Kelly, became the latest person to identify Kelly (or at least his computer-generated image) in the sex tape at the center of the case; she says she’s “110 percent” sure it’s him and the girl prosecutors say it is, though she “didn’t want to think it was them” because he “[h]e treated the people that worked with him extremely well,” to say nothing of the joy his music has brought to millions of fans all over the world.

As we’ve said before, if R. Kelly the Man is truly guilty of his alleged crimes, then he should certainly be convicted and sent to prison for as many years as a jury sees fit — not that this would necessarily hinder our appreciation for R. Kelly the Artist, who we hope, in such a case, would flee to a country with lots of recording studios and no extradition treaty with the United States.