Chemistry is life, life is chemistry

The ramblings of a chemist

We will be hosting another house concert for the fabulous Alexander James Adams on Saturday April 11th, 4pm. There will be food and a music circle after the concert and Alec will actually be able to stay and play! If you're interested, reply to this post or send me email - housemusic at ifversen dot org

I missed this the day she posted. This is my very wonderful and eloquent friend Amy's post. Having lost a friend last year to suicide, this is especially meaningful to me this year. The more we talk about suicide, depression and mental illinesses in general being like every other illiness, the further we get towards removing the stigmas involved. We don't berate or belittle people for having diabetes or asthma - the same should be true for mental illness.----------------------------------------Originally posted by sweetmusic_27 at International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2014

Four years ago, my mother committed suicide. I still struggle coming to terms not only with her death, but with my family's wider history of suicide. My maternal grandfather and great-uncle died by suicide, my sister made an attempt, and I have struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts since puberty.

When I talk about these things, people shy away. It's a frightening subject, but if we want to help people who are suicidal, we need to understand what suicide really means, how it works, and how to respond to people contemplating it. Remember, talking about suicide does not cause someone to be suicidal. If you're worried about someone, it is safe to bring up the topic of suicide.

Suicide is not selfish. Imagine that your thoughts and emotions make up a house. My mother's mental house faded around the edges. Room by room, the space available to her shrank until she was left a hallway, trapped in a narrow place. It's not that she was thinking of herself; it's that she couldn't think of anyone, anything.

It’s nobody’s fault when this medical condition takes hold. As many as one in six people become seriously suicidal at some point in their lives. While it is not directly caused by depression, anxiety, drug use, or other risk factors, about 90% of suicidal people have mental issues that involve or worsen seriously suicidal thoughts. These issues can be treated.

Do try to say something, even if it's "wow, I'm sorry," or "well, crap." You don’t have to instantly become a perfect therapist. A friend of mine reached out to some of her friends, and they reacted with silence. "You could have heard a pin drop," she told me. "Nobody said a thing." It made her feel distanced, alone.

If the person you're talking to mentions a certain means of committing suicide, it's safe to bring up ways to remove or limit that means. "Do you want me to keep your gun for a while? Do you keep ammo in the house?" "When you say you're thinking about swallowing pills, are they pills you have? Can you get someone to dose out a week at a time instead of having the whole bottle around?" "You mentioned slitting your wrists. Is looking at knives or razors hard for you? I can come over and help you get those things out of the house for a while. Want to go shopping for an electric shaver together?" Bringing this up is not harmful and will not give anyone ideas. Don't press for action, just let them know there are options.

Later, check back in. Be ready for things not to suddenly be better. The mental issues surrounding suicidality don't go away quickly. If you can, try to communicate that it's okay to still be struggling.

If you're suicidal, there are people who can help. If you are not, the odds are that somebody in your life will be or has been before, and you can still help by being willing to educate yourself and others, and being willing to say the word "suicide."

Every time you share this post or other information on suicide, you help to fight the stigma, break the taboo, and dispel the myths. Feel free to link back to this. Feel free to comment here with other links and resources and stories. Feel free to talk to me about suicide. Feel free to comment anonymously on this post (trolling and hate speech will be deleted).

We are hosting a house concert for the fabulous Alexander James Adams.

Saturday September 13th 4-7pmWarrenville IL ( a western suburb of Chicago)

Suggested donation is $15. Space is limited (and after only a few hours after the Facebook announcement over half full!) so if you're interested, please send me email directly to reserve your spot. I will send directions as well, if you don't already know where I live. Please use this email - ange at ifversen dot org

There may be a music circle afterwords. There will certainly be food if you'd like to bring something along to share.

My friends Amy McNally (sweetmusic_27), Dave Perry (lollardfish) and Kurt, collectively known as The Tooles have launched their Kickstarter for a live album. It's going to be all kinds of awesome, mostly because they're all kinds of awesome. dave_ifversen is doing the recording and you - yes YOU! can be a part of it! In fact there are two ways you can be a part of it - and you KNOW you want to be. For a measly $10 contribution you can get a copy of their album. Give them more $ and you get more cool stuff like t-shirts and stickers and such.

You can also be a part of that album by showing up at the Irish American Heritage Center on September 6th and singing along. It's going to be an epic night, I'm sure.

The lovely Heather Dale will be here in the Chicagoland area this Saturday June 14th. Details here. Concert starts at 7pm. The venue is spacious and handicap accessible. If you're coming from the city via public transport, contact me and I can arrange pick up at the Metro station (on either the BNSF or Union Pacific West line).

It seems somewhat melodramatic to say but riding my bike really has saved me. It saved me from going crazy four years ago in the summer of 2010 as my mother's health took a sharp down turn. Riding my bike was an escape where I had no responsibilities.

It has no doubt improved my health. When I started riding, I could barely do a couple miles at less than 10 mph. I just finished 11 miles at an average speed of 14 mph. When I'm not riding up a hill or into the #$@% wind (or both!), I can easily manage 17-20 mph.

I ride for a number of reasons and in 3 weeks, I'm going to be riding a lot of miles for a really good one - multiple sclerosis. This is not an abstract disease to me. It affects people I know and care about. I think about them as I ride and am thankful that I can ride for them.

I am still looking for contributions to my ride. You can go here to see my personal page. It's a flat donation amount - not an amount per mile that I ride. If you feel uncomfortable donating online, email me at angelakarash at ifversen dot org.