Hi, my children have been subject to a protection plan for emotional abuse due to the parental relationship. In December 2015, I called the police due to an incident at home. My wife was arrested for attempted criminal damage, but police released her, without charge, but advised not to return to the family home.

She initially went to stay with her brother, I understand from social services that for the past couple of months she returned to parents (abroad, with a return date being sometime June. I want to get a child arrangement order and an occupation order, as currently there is nothing from preventing her coming back to the family home. Will this be possible given that I cannot serve the her with the occupation order/child arrangement order as she is not in the country?

Social services are not prepared to give me a letter of support. Their stance is that they will respond only to a direct request from the court, but what they put in their response to the court will be supporting my case for the order. I have successfully completed a parenting assessment. She refused to take part. She has also been assessed to have 'traits of emotionally unstable personality'.

Any advice would be grateful. I know I should go and see a solicitor about this, but money is tight and solicitors are very expensive.

I am sorry that you are still having difficulties in trying to resolve the situation relating to your children due to your wife’s behaviour.

It is unfortunate that Children Services will not assist in obtaining alternative accommodation. I suggest that you ask the social worker what action Children Services would take in respect of your children if your wife decided to return to the matrimonial home. Is it the case that they are still of the view that she is able to parent the children safely despite the concerns they have had about the children’s emotional health. You should put your request in writing and ask for a written response from Children Services.

If your wife is due to return to the UK, then it might be best to wait for her to return to make your applications. Alternatively, if you have an address for her parents where she is staying now you could issue the applications and have her served with the court papers at that address. In this way the process you will have started the process prior to her return. An occupation order can be made on the basis that having left she does not return to the home.

To prevent your wife removing the children from the home, you could also consider asking the court to make a prohibited steps order.

As previously advised, you can contact Coram Children’s Legal Centre on 0300 030 5480. Their website is here . You will be able to obtain advice in respect of the private law applications which you intend to make to the court.

I have included here a copy of our advice sheet about applying for a Child Arrangement Order which I hope you will find helpful.