The most affordable list includes everything you figured it would — from Indiannapolis (#1) to sunny Syracuse (#6) to fabulous symbol of modern capitalism Detroit (#4). In short, it is a list of 10 places to which I would move only under imminent threat of zombie invasion.

The 10 Most Affordable Cities:

Indianapolis, IN

Warren, Troy, Farmington Hills, MI

Youngstown, Warren, Boardman, OH-PA

Detroit, MI

Grand Rapids, MI

Syracuse, NY

Dayton, OH

Akron, OH

Cleveland, OH

Scranton, PA

More surprising is the list of the 10 least affordable cities. Not only is the Boston area not on the list (whaaa?), but places like Newark, NJ, and El Paso, TX are.

The 10 Least Affordable Cities:

New York City, NY

San Francisco, CA

Nassau/Suffolk Counties, NY

Los Angeles, CA

Miami, FL

Santa Ana, Anaheim, Irvine, CA

El Paso, TX

Newark, NJ

Honolulu, HI

Seattle, WA

Here is the explanation:

According to Consumerist, the index was created by calculating the percentage of the population making the median income of the area could afford a house in the city. So wildly expensive cities like New York and San Francisco still top the list because despite the insanely high real estate prices, the mean income is not impacted as much by the high rollers (remember that mean does not equal average). In depressing cities like Newark and El Paso, the mean income is so disastrously low that affording anything at all is difficult.

Now if you’ll excuse me, my contract limits me to 5 total minutes of math per month. Any more and my head gets an owie.