Men are Pigs!

This is a discussion on Men are Pigs! within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; HER: Baby, Do you know how much I love you?
HER: Hmmmm, What do you want now?
HIM: Why would you say that?
HER: Because ...

Men are Pigs!

HER: Baby, Do you know how much I love you?
HER: Hmmmm, What do you want now?
HIM: Why would you say that?
HER: Because I know men. They only say things like that when they want something.
HIM: I do, but I still love you anyways.
HER: So, What do you want?
HIM: I want them!
HER: You what? Are you out of your skull?
HIM: Baby, It hurts so bad! I want to play with them.
HER: Wait one minute Mister. We donít know each other that long.
HIM: But I thought you loved me!
HER: But I donít know if I am ready for that. It is a big step in our relationship.
HIM: Well, I am ready to commit if you are.
HER: Sure, sure. You guys will say anything to get a little taste but not from me!
HIM: Oh Baby please! I want it so bad it hurts!
HER: You will just have to wait.
HIM: Oh címon! You keep strutting them in front of my face, caress them, oil them till they glisten, keep them nice and tight. What do you expect? A guy can only resist so much.
HER: If you are hurting that bad, you can play with your own.
HIM: It is not the same. Yours are so beautiful, perfect lines, works of art. At least let me touch them.
HER: No! Keep your hands away.
HIM: Please!
HER: I said no!
HIM: Pleaseeeeeeeeee! Iíll do whatever you want.
HER: You will?
HIM: Yes!
HER: You will come with me to my parentsí house for Thanksgiving?
HIM: Yes, and I will be a model guy.
HER: And promise to take care of the yard without me having to remind you every day?
HIM: Yes.
HER: And clean after yourself? Hug me and talk to me even during football season?
HIM: Yes! YES!
HER: OK, OK. I will let you play with my machine guns. But you will buy your own ammo and load the mags! I am not your maid!

"He went on two legs, wore clothes and was a human being, but nevertheless he was in reality a wolf of the Steppes. He had learned a good deal . . . and was a fairly clever fellow. What he had not learned, however, was this: to find contentment in himself and his own life. The cause of this apparently was that at the bottom of his heart he knew all the time (or thought he knew) that he was in reality not a man, but a wolf of the Steppes."