The lovable comedic actor (“The Longest Yard,” “50 First Dates” and “Mr. Deeds”) and “Saturday Night Live” alum comes in for a three-night, five-show stand. Schneider draws on his command of dialects, street talk and foreign accents, and will indulge requests for some of his famous roles. But he has a guilty pleasure, too. The diminutive comic, who has been in the business more than 25 years, told Howard Stern that he collects Steven Seagal stories “like jewels.” Yell out for some of those.