Thursday, May 26, 2011

Highly Illogical

Wow, my kid is so ILLOGICAL. Shane was busy 'making magic' in the bathroom when I called him into the living room to pick up the four thousand tiny pieces of string he had cut up earlier. I TOLD him he was going to have to pick it up when he was doing it, so he shouldn't have been SURPRISED, but somehow he was. String that is purposely cut into many small pieces must be eventually picked up. Everyone knows this, right? It's a clear consequence of flinging string around all willy-nilly. Then, he pitched this huge fit and screamed that he was too tired to pick up the string. So, I told him if he was too tired to pick up the string, then he needed to go to bed. Totally logical and sensible, right? He should have been HAPPY; he got to go to bed and NOT pick up the string. But no, he threw another full on tantrum and ripped his pajamas off. So I told him he could sleep naked. You'd think he would have been happy, since that's what he said he wanted, but no.

Then he wanted me to stay in there with him, but of course I couldn't, because I had to pick up the string. Clearly, if one has to be picking up the mess created by others, one can not also be laying in bed at the same time. Again, he failed to see the utter logic in this and screamed MORE, not less. And that's not the end of the insanity. He began hollering for an imaginary toy. It's a green squeaking toy shaped like a star THAT HE HAS NEITHER OWNED NOR SEEN. EVER. He calls it 'Squeaky' and CANNOT POSSIBLY LIVE WITHOUT IT.

How do people live like this? With this complete and total lack of reason and a propensity to rail ever louder, as if sheer volume will suddenly render an absolutely ridiculous and indefensible position rational. Oh, HOLY HELL. I just realized the intellect of my four year old bears more than a passing resemblance to that of Newt Gingrich. AND that little charmer Michele Bachmann. On the plus side, for me, at least the small boy will grow out of it.

Oh yeah, here is a picture of the 'magic' that was made in the bathroom, and damn if it doesn't remind me of the Ryan budget.