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Blue Moon Agave Ale: Worse than death

(Not my original picture because I’m not going to take a picture of a bottle of Blue Moon)

Ticks have been debased. Ratebeer has always been shit, and the “Gots” section on beeradvocate has it made it so somewhere around 50% of any given beer’s ratings are illegitimate. There was a time when I took having had X number of beers as a reliable measure of ones beersmanshp. Back then, I would review every beer I drank and try my best to get hold of as many new beers as possible, no matter how bad they looked, because adding to my review total was all that mattered.

Back then, I would have tried this months ago. Not now. Now, even if someone had given it to me at a party, I normally wouldn’t have thought to review it. Because why bother, you know? It don’t matter.

Plus, most big brewer beers are pretty okay. A friend gave me a Michelob Ultra pomegranate. Know what it tasted like? Watery beer and pomegranate. That is, it didn’t taste bad. Not great, not beery, but not awful. It was product that someone had paid money for, and so Adheiser Busch made sure it didn’t taste horrible.

Blue moon is rot. It’s a horrible concoction made by shitty people and marketed to know-nothing dickheads who assume that a higher price always necessarily yields a superior product. These people wouldn’t be caught dead serving Bud or Miller at their parties, because those are what poor people drink, but they’re too stupid and lame to buy something that isn’t awful. This beer was made especially for them, especially for the worst people in the world.

Blue Moon Agave is one of the most revolting things I’ve ever drank, and I need to prevent others from succumbing to it.

Who the fuck thought it was a good idea to mix agave nectar and beer? Don’t blame Tequiza or Miller Chill. Those at least try to taste like margaritas, meaning their flavor is mostly lime and salt. Who thought that it was a good idea to mix shitty, burny, chemical-tasting well tequila with an American Pale Wheat? That person was fucking stupid.

It tastes like something your body doesn’t want inside of it. It’s an awful attempt at an awful product and it’s just surprisingly bad, even from Coors.