10/18/05

i woke up..feeling peaky...went to the toilet.sneezed out phelgm.. but turned out to be a thick clot of blood.i coughed.. another thick clot.n i panicked.

cancer. tumor. aids! stds! um.. i mean.nvm.

gtg see ah b.

walked out. mom asked me to wait til like... 9.. cuz of the traffic.waited. played piano.. got a feeling that today... i might be able to touch a real piano. without electricity buttons. n i got a funny instinct i should bring some piano books. ignored it.

reached liao. ah b still in surgery..i wandered around.. found a piano shop!!.. and a friend!!!went inside to play piano... n rejoiced. n rejoiced. at the mellow sound of the real keys.. changing each time i press... n the thick sounds of vibration resonating in the small room...wa................ i m in heaven...

n i regretted .. cuz i did not follow my instincts.

after that i went to see ah b..

went in... saw him sleeping.. he looks as if he's a starved refugee stranded in the dunes of hot n dry egypt. mouths dry. white. cracking. face white. screwed up in a pain expression even as he sleep.. n i felt his pain.

he woke up... n for a patient his humour is ............ top notch. talking crap. laughing n then doubling in pain . ... after some water... he look so much better..

a while later. his parents came... then ah b ate a lil.n go toilet.

................have u ever seen a patient's clothings?... its... a piece of blue cloth reaching the knee.. n then... with strings for u to tie.. to the back...aiya. in english it means if u din tie. it will fall n u are naked la.he stood up. walked to the toilet. ... n ......