Your stomach pit is wrenching tight, you get mad at yourself “all these years of sadhana and spiritual practices seems to have failed.”. Then your tightness is a lie, your sadhana is a lie, your spiritual practice is a lie.

Why waste rest of your life trying to fight a lie?

What will you get if you win over a lie?

What is the point of spending so much energy against a lie?

What will you prove in the end?

That it was a lie.

All along you have known its a lie and still you are spending time proving its a lie.

This world is full of lies. What is the point of looking with focus on the lies?

Where else can you spend your energies? Is there something real? Is there something you feel responsible for? Is there something you care?

You can either misuse knowledge of lies and become lazy and lethargic and go down the lane or you can take the lies head on, realize lies potency to disrupt life and move on, upwards.

I dont know where up goes but it seems like an intelligent choice.

That upwards journey is driven by faith.

You don’t know the path.

You don’t know the destination.

You just know that you have a support system there built by your master, your guru. You only have that guru tatva to hold on to, depend, trust.

I dont know why or how that faith needs to be built. But then it seems to help.

Maybe it will help in riding the uncertainties of the world.

Maybe it will help to understand that the world is a lie.

Events and people will not stuck you.

Maybe it will allow the free flow of intuition.

Maybe it will help you connect to the source.

(don’t ask me what source is, it sounds like a nice goal to have).

There is an infinite space that we don’t know.

The possibilities are more in believing in the unknown.

It’s worth spending your time and energy in knowing some aspects of the unknowable.