Second Carrier. I have a gammon of bacon and two razors of ginger,
665to be delivered as far as Charing-cross.

First Carrier. God's body! the turkeys in my pannier are quite
starved. What, ostler! A plague on thee! hast thou
never an eye in thy head? canst not hear? An
'twere not as good deed as drink, to break the pate
670on thee, I am a very villain. Come, and be hanged!
hast thou no faith in thee?

Gadshill. That's even as fair as—at hand, quoth the
690chamberlain; for thou variest no more from picking
of purses than giving direction doth from labouring;
thou layest the plot how.

[Enter Chamberlain]

Chamberlain. Good morrow, Master Gadshill. It holds current that
695I told you yesternight: there's a franklin in the
wild of Kent hath brought three hundred marks with
him in gold: I heard him tell it to one of his
company last night at supper; a kind of auditor; one
that hath abundance of charge too, God knows what.
700They are up already, and call for eggs and butter;
they will away presently.

Gadshill. Sirrah, if they meet not with Saint Nicholas'
clerks, I'll give thee this neck.

Chamberlain. No, I'll none of it: I pray thee keep that for the
705hangman; for I know thou worshippest St. Nicholas
as truly as a man of falsehood may.

Gadshill. What talkest thou to me of the hangman? if I hang,
I'll make a fat pair of gallows; for if I hang, old
Sir John hangs with me, and thou knowest he is no
710starveling. Tut! there are other Trojans that thou
dreamest not of, the which for sport sake are
content to do the profession some grace; that would,
if matters should be looked into, for their own
credit sake, make all whole. I am joined with no
715foot-land rakers, no long-staff sixpenny strikers,
none of these mad mustachio purple-hued malt-worms;
but with nobility and tranquillity, burgomasters and
great oneyers, such as can hold in, such as will
strike sooner than speak, and speak sooner than
720drink, and drink sooner than pray: and yet, zounds,
I lie; for they pray continually to their saint, the
commonwealth; or rather, not pray to her, but prey
on her, for they ride up and down on her and make
her their boots.
725

Chamberlain. What, the commonwealth their boots? will she hold
out water in foul way?

Gadshill. She will, she will; justice hath liquored her. We
steal as in a castle, cocksure; we have the receipt
of fern-seed, we walk invisible.
730

Chamberlain. Nay, by my faith, I think you are more beholding to
the night than to fern-seed for your walking invisible.

Gadshill. Give me thy hand: thou shalt have a share in our
purchase, as I am a true man.

Chamberlain. Nay, rather let me have it, as you are a false thief.
735

Gadshill. Go to; 'homo' is a common name to all men. Bid the
ostler bring my gelding out of the stable. Farewell,
you muddy knave.