FOLLOW US

Government ‘will listen to offers’ for Wales

Leaked documents have revealed secret Government plans to sell off Wales as part of a wholesale review of ‘non-core activities’. The documents show the Treasury is ‘prepared to listen to offers’ for the principality after a private report by a firm of management consultants described the country as ‘surplus to requirements’.

The report said Wales had contributed ‘proportionately little’ to the UK over the years apart from ‘a few famous names, an attractive coastline and those blokes in Zulu.’ The report cites the region’s declining industrial contribution, Tom Jones’ failing popularity and ‘that funny made-up language’ as justification for the sale.

A Treasury insider said last night: ‘We had a brainstorming session about the pros and cons of flogging off Wales. We captured a few good reasons to keep it but once we got going on the benefits of the sale we had to get an extra flipchart pad.’A spokesman for the Prince of Wales refused to comment last night on reports that the prince was willing to give up his title because he ‘never really liked the place and was happy with Cornwall’.

It’s thought that potential bidders have already been approached about the impending sale of the region, including wealthy Arab, Russian and US individuals as well as private organisations such as Disney and IKEA. A proposed internal bid by the Welsh themselves to buy their historic homeland failed to generate much interest.

But the news brought an outraged reaction in some parts of the principality. ‘If this is some kind of joke then it is not funny’ said a spokesman for Plaid Cymru, ‘It is racist, offensive and ill-informed,’ he added angrily, causing the value of Wales to fall even further.