A penguin driving in the desert coasts his car into the mechanic shop for a repairBeing in the dessert and he IS a penguin, he goes across the street to get an ice cream cone. As he is waddling back to the shop the mechanic looks from under his hood and says "Buddy looks like you blew a seal". Penguin says "I swear to god it was just an ice cream cone!"

digdashdive saidA penguin driving in the desert coasts his car into the mechanic shop for a repairBeing in the dessert and he IS a penguin, he goes across the street to get an ice cream cone. As he is waddling back to the shop the mechanic looks from under his hood and says "Buddy looks like you blew a seal". Penguin says "I swear to god it was just an ice cream cone!"

Three friends -- two straight guys and a gay guy -- and their significant others were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and next thing you know, they're standing before St. Peter.

First came one of the straight guys and his wife. St. Peter shook his head sadly. "I can't let you in. You loved money too much. You loved it so much, you even married a woman named Penny."

Then came the second straight guy. "Sorry, can't let you in, either. You loved food too much. You loved to eat so much, you even married a woman named Candy!"