Emily Guendelsberger doesn't have health insurance, so she will be wholloped with medical bills associated with the surgery she needs to fix her leg, which was broken in last Saturday night's stampede of marauding teens down Broad St.

That Onion Sure Stinks

Emily Guendelsberger's leg was broken in Saturday's mob attack on North Broad St.

"We can't divulge any details surrounding the compensation or benefits packages of our employees," Onion spokeswoman Anne Finn told Dan. "We will say that when we heard about the events that transpired, we were shocked and saddened. Our hearts immediately went out to Emily and we wanted to leave the option for people to help her."

Isn't that wonderful? They wanted to "leave the option for people to help," not "leave the option for The Onion to help."

So they set up a PayPal account so that others - i.e., not The Onion - could help Guendelsberger.

Gets me feeling all warm and fuzzy.

Anyway, if you'd like to help Guendelsberger with her bills, click here and then click on the donate button. In the interest of full disclosure, I know Guendelsberger, as does everyone at The Daily News. She was a copy editor here for two years, and she is a cheerful, talented and lovely young woman who could use financial support right now. But if your wallet is feeling light, prayers for her speedy recovery are welcome, too.

When my phone rings here at the Daily News, nine times out of ten the caller begins the conversation with, “Yeah, so what happened was…”.

Because this is Philly, the caller doesn’t say, “My name is Bob” – or Mary – “and I wonder if I could have a moment of your time?” Philadelphians are too direct for that. They just say, “Yeah, so what happened was…”, and then tumble into a tale they think oughta be shared with a wider audience. I love getting these calls (even the ones where it becomes clear, after 30 seconds, where the caller sowed the seeds of his own misery), because they give me chance to connect with fellow citizens in a way that no other job allows. Well, okay, no other job for which I’m remotely qualified.

That’s why my blog is titled “So What Happened Was…”. To me, it’s the quintessentially Philly way of saying, “Once upon a time.” When I hear it, I know a good story is coming. And I can’t wait to see how it turns out.

Ronnie Polaneczky has been an award-winning columnist for The Philadelphia Daily News since 1999, offering a front-steps perspective on every aspect of city life, from the sublime to the stupid. In her past life, she was the editor-in-chief of Atlantic City Magazine, associate editor at Philadelphia Magazine and a fulltime freelancer published in Ladies Home Journal, Good Housekeeping, Redbook, Reader's Digest, Men's Health, MarieClaire and others. She lives with her husband, daughter and various pets in the city's Fairmount section, where she dreams of one day singing The National Anthem at an Eagles game. In addition to her column and blog, you can enjoy Ronnie's musings in podcast form here.