11 December 2009

Lady Gaga Confession

At first, you see her and think, "Oh no, another generated pop star with crappy music. Forget this."

2. Anger

"LoveGame is the worst song in existence. I hate this song so much. It makes me want to kill something. Someone. Anything. This is the worst."

3. Bargaining

"Alright. Pokerface is pretty catchy. I have a soft spot for techno and club music. But that's no excuse for LoveGame. Then again I love Daft Punk and Technologic gives me a blinding headache anytime I hear it."

4. Depression

"I am way too snobby about music to admit to liking a pop star. I can't get Paprazzi out of my head to save my life. Ugh!"5. Acceptance

"Bad Romance is too awesome. End of discussion."

How can you not like Lady Gaga? She is a crazy person who sings wonderfully, does a great Ray Charles impression on the piano, displays a beautiful yet hideous twist on female sexuality, and dances quite badly. She references Hitchcock films, David Bowie, 90s dance music, HG Giger, and gyroscopes. That's all stuff I like!

I wish I could wake up and put on a gyroscope in the morning. I don't even have a little gyroscope to wear as a hat. She has two different gyroscopes to wear because one is not enough for her. Lady Gaga is living the dream for me. (Incidentally, Lady Gaga does not show up on the first page of Google Image search when you type in "gyroscope". Is there something we can do to fix that?)

On the topic of Lady Gaga's crazy clothing, I want a huge faux polar bear robe to wear. For one, it looks pretty warm and cozy provided you didn't trip over it while running down the store when FedEx people ring the doorbell. For two, it looks really cool. For three, it would keep tigers from attacking your back.