You got 'Allo 'Allo in the Netherlands? I loved the policeman, Officer Crabtree, turned out he was an underciver English man hence why he couldn't converse so well in the mock French language that they used on the show he had some great lines,

[René goes to the Gendarmerie (police station) as he continues to look for somewhere safe to hide from Denise Laroque. Watch this on YouTube]René: Service! Is this a police station or a mortuary? (He rings the bell on the counter)Crabtree: Would you please stop bonging the bill, or I shall lick you up for disturbing the puss.René: Office Crabtree, it is I, René Artois (He removes his false beard). Will you lock me up, please?Crabtree: Are you confessing to some cream?René: Yes. Cream galore!Crabtree: In that curse, you must fill in a foam. Here is a list of creams. I will tick what you have din. Murder?René: No.Crabtree: Minslaughter?René: No.Crabtree: Roop?René: No.Crabtree: Biglary?René: No.Crabtree: Biglary with minaces?René: No.Crabtree: Handbog snitching?René: No.Crabtree: Arsin?René: What is "arsin"?Crabtree: Setting fire to places.René: Ah! My life is in danger, so I will confess to all of these things, as long as you lock me up.Crabtree: I see. Unfortunately, all the sills are filled to caposity. Could you come back next woke?René: Oh my God! Why do I pay rates?

Happy belated Australia Day! 🇦🇺 Maybe an Aussie can explain a joke to this clueless seppo. Bloke calls a radio advice show.

Bloke: We were at the beach and a bee stung my Sheila right below her map of Tazzy and now we can't root!Host: Bummer mate. Bloke: Great idea! Thanks!

Translation Man: We were at the beach and a bee stung my Shelia (Australian slang for woman) right below her map of Tazzy (Australian coinage for the female pubic hair, based on Tasmania's triangular shape being similar to the pubic patch) and now we can't can't root (can't Procreate )Host: Bummer mate (Hard luck sir) ["bloke" mistakes this for advice on giving "Shelia" anal sex i.e. 'Bum her']Bloke: Great Idea! Thanks!

I'm beginning to suspect that Aussies may like to gently humor a simple Yank like myself. For example, one once gave me some advice on how to make a trip to Oz more memorable. He said that blokes in the pub are very welcoming of my type and would even buy me a special drink if I follow the secret protocol. He said I just need to find the friendliest bloke, who would have the largest Ned Kelly tattoo and put my hand on his shoulder. Then I should look him in the eye and say "Just chuck it in me dumper," and wink. He said the special drink was called "a bunch of fives."

I'm beginning to suspect that Aussies may like to gently humor a simple Yank like myself. For example, one once gave me some advice on how to make a trip to Oz more memorable. He said that blokes in the pub are very welcoming of my type and would even buy me a special drink if I follow the secret protocol. He said I just need to find the friendliest bloke, who would have the largest Ned Kelly tattoo and put my hand on his shoulder. Then I should look him in the eye and say "Just chuck it in me dumper," and wink. He said the special drink was called "a bunch of fives."

Can confirm if you do that you will be given a bunch of fives.

However... (americans don't read the spoiler)

Show content for Hiden:

A bunch of fives isn't a drink but rather a punch. Probably to the face.

And yes, we Aussies love taking the piss out of Yanks. And that's not as weird as it sounds.

I don't know about you guys, but I think that Trump can be stopped by rolling out banners saying "Resist" & "Build bridges, not walls", or by kicking a few trash cans into the street. Throw in a bit of name calling and a few pink furry hats, that'll do it!

Is the ban dumb? Hell yes. But I can understand why people are feeling a little "taken for granted" when thousands of liberals will get out on the street for a few travel restrictions, but don't protest deals like TTIP or CETA (I'm pretty sure most Americans haven't even heard about these two trade deals). This trade policy is what fuels people like Trump, Le Pen, Wilders, etc., but Democrats are far too many shortsighted to see this. They believe that for "geopolitical" reasons, trade deals like TTIP/CETA are needed, but they completely ignore that workers' rights get thrown out the window & foreign investors gain special legal privileges.

I mean, for fuck sakes, yes, protest the travel restriction, but can you really not see why people voted for (and continue to support) Trump? Dems are willing to get out on the street so that 7 nationalities can once again travel freely, but they plow full steam ahead with neoliberal shit like TPP, TTIP, CETA & TiSA. For the lack of a better term: it is "aristocratic (or perhaps even privileged) protesting".

It's a shitty thing to say & I sound like a cock, but it needs to be said.

These protests are not organized by the democrats, these are normal citizens upset with a president who is either borderline retarded or a manipulative liar.

Like you said, no one knows what the hell the TPP is. Not even Trump supporters. All they saw was "trade" and "China" and Fox News saying it was bad. Maybe if Republicans actually started an information campaign about why these deals are bad for America more people would listen. But they didn't have to. They can just cry havoc and millions Americans will vote for whoever says they will get their jobs back. Yes, the Dems dropped the ball with the blue collar demographic but that is a complaint against the party which is clearly ran by idiots. You have to remember that many leftists DID try to get a proper liberal as the Democrat nominee but were blocked by party politics.