In Max Kellerman's eyes, if you're not either Black, American, or Paul Williams, you are a bum who should be tied to a cross and spat at until lightly coated in human saliva.

Uncompetitive match ups

Back in the early days of boxing, the best fought the best. Nowadays, boxing promoters try to tell us that a 35 year old Mexican with 19 defeats is a worthy match up for his newest World Champion.

Pre-fight advertisements

When people want a pizza, they pick up the several leaflets posted through their door that day, and order the cheapest one. They don't need Michael Buffer to announce that the match was brought to them by Domino's Pizza. Actually, it was brought to them via a $50 donation to HBO.

Wladimir Klitschko

Jab, jab, jab, jab, jab. Oh and a jab.

Charlie Zelenoff

Gloves, check. Mouth-guard, check. First round retirement, check.

Lennox Lewis

Lennox Lewis should replace his favourite word 'definitely', with the word 'obviously'. His commentary arsenal includes the gem, “He just threw a jab there”. Thank you Lewis. Without that insightful observation, I wouldn't have realised I was watching a fight.

Shot

When a fighter can no longer fight at the top level he is labelled in the boxing world as 'shot'. What does 'shot' mean? Who came up with this phrase? Surely the correct term would be 'sh*t'.

There must be something wrong with him

No, there is nothing wrong with your favourite fighter. The reason he isn't performing to his usual high standards is because he is not as good as the man currently punching him in the face. It has nothing to do with training camp, moving up in weight, or having to deal with a painful divorce.

Brutal knockout

Why do internet fans always declare their favourite fighter will win by brutal knockout? It's as if they are saying that being knocked out any other way will be less than brutal. A gentle knockout maybe?

The internet

Never stepped in the ring before? Never watched a match in your life? Don't worry. The internet will allow you to offer your opinions through educational discussions like 'Hatton needs to shut his mouth' and 'Danny Williams beats Ali'. It's the internet, everybody is a boxing genius.