"Hope is my catalyst."

——————————————————————————————————————————————–Everyday NhanSense: Each day, I will blog about something that comes to mind. My goal is to practice writing about my hobbies, my interests, my opinions and so forth.

Day 95’s Topic: Not quite alone in tough times.——————————————————————————————————————————————–Looking back a few years, I guess I can admit I was pretty much one step away from beinghospitalized. I doubt my family would have let it happen, but I was in a pretty bad spot upstairs.

At the very least, I think I should have technically been placed in some kind of care. What I got instead was a lot of mental meandering for quite awhile. I was too darn embarrassed to seek help, let alone be brave enough to admit I had problems. It was a paradox of sorts.

But believe me, and I do mean this, I had my share of problems at the time.

My family was basically very hush-hush about my situation. I didn’t really like others knowing what I was up to. I am sure the neighbors probably wondered, but we all have our respective issues and personal dilemmas to deal with, right?

Let’s just say I know firsthand what it’s like to be that “prisoner” of sorts, of my own home no less. It sucked. Like, it absolutely sucked.

But the funny thing of it all? I was my own warden. I had the lock and key in hand, but I didn’t let myself free for a long time. This is the really screwed-up aspect of it all.

At the end of the day, it goes to show how you can be your own worst enemy.

Perhaps had I had the proper medical care when I needed it most, perhaps if I would have been courageous enough to say, “Yes, I have problems, so I need medical help to make them go away,” maybe, just maybe, I would be in a superior position to this day.

Nonetheless, what’s done is done. It’s a bit late for that now.

And you know what? That’s OK. I learned a lot. Correction: I have learned a lot, and I continue to learn each day about what makes me who I am. I guess it’s time I can provide some kind of help to others who are like me. If they’re willing to accept my help, of course.