Trump’s fired Comey? How dare he? This is a crisis for the integrity of our institutions…

As it turns out, he misspoke somewhat on the matter of Huma Abedin sending classified emails to her spambot penis of a hubby to print out during breaks from sexting middle-schoolers. Which is how we arrive at the brain-exploding scenario of Trump firing Comey for being unfair to Hillary. Boy, that Putin is always nine chess moves ahead, isn’t he?

He IS good, isn’t he? I mean, he must be: he has Trump in his back pocket, our national elections under his complete control, and driven the America-hating Left into paroxysms of patriotic fervor for the first time since…well, ever. That’s a record of accomplishment anybody might envy.