You’re Going To Want One Of These Sweary Coloring Books Right F*cking Now

Who knew a coloring book full of swear words could be so relaxing?

The whole “adult coloring book” movement has been around for a while, but you’ve never seen anything like this. Some genius invented a book full of swear words to color — and it’s the most amazing thing, ever. I can almost picture myself hiding in a closet, clutching a glass of wine and rocking slowly as I grab for my favorite color crayon.

UK illustrator Sarah Bigwood has designed some coloring pages for those of us who find releasing a storm of profanities to be relaxing and necessary. And these are perfect for parents, because while you can’t always scream the obscenities a situation calls for thanks to young, impressionable ears — you can certainly grab a bunch of crayons and start coloring them.

Someone may have told you some bullshit about people who swear lacking the vocabulary to use other words, but feel free to tell them to shut their squeaky clean traps. Science confirms that theory is a giant crock of shit. Several recent studies support the idea that “fluent use of profanity can be a sign of an articulate nature and a deep intelligence.”

These could be incredible coping mechanisms. Instead of flipping off the guy behind you tailing your Toyota Camry with his giant Hummer because you have the nerve to drive the speed limit when your kids are in the car, you can run home and color this:

Instead of screaming, “WHY DO I ALWAYS GET STUCK WITH THE FUCKING GOODY BAGS” in the middle of your kindergartener’s class whilst perusing the sign-up sheet for the next holiday party, you can run home and color this:

Instead of screaming, “You don’t even fucking know what Viogner is, why would you drink the last glass?” to your beer-loving, greedy husband, you can run off and color this: