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A Tale of Tingles

A former neighbor of mine is a perfect example of how far down the wrong road tingles can lead you.

Tingles are basically feelings of sexual lust, usually for the so called bad boy. The bad boy often comes across as alpha, although in many cases I have seen such men are often good at generating tingles in women but not much else. Of course namalt.

But back to the tale. So this neighbor, who we will call Vixen, is a former cheerleader, party girl, looks similar to a young Demi Moore. In high school, she was the gal topless and making out with another girl for attention at parties. Hot, right?

Well Vixen married young, then left her first husband for his best friend, who I call Hercules. Together she and Hercules had two daughters, and it was when she was 8 months pregnant with the second (now 7) that they moved into a house two doors down.

My oldest is wi 6 months of hers, so we arranged some play dates. At first Vixen seemed to have things pretty well figured out, and she seemed happy. But as time went on I began to notice she is very good at saying all the right things, but doing the exact opposite.

Within a few years Vixen and Hercules split, a long story I have written about elsewhere. Basically they opened their marriage and things went from bad to worse, with them taking turns going out to the bar on alternate nights to get attention and validation from hook ups and other nonsense.

Well naturally that didn’t work so she arranged a branch swing, starting an affair with a then married friend from high school. He’s got a good union job, and promised her a bed of roses to leave her marriage. “I’ll be there for you,” he said. “I’ll put you up and pay for it all and then we’ll marry within a year.”

Except he didn’t. Once she left her marriage his story changed to, “you need to stand on your own two feet for awhile.” Rather than walk away, she decided to beat a dead horse, doing her best to try to make him live up to his broken promises.

Now this guy is nothing to look at, small and kind of creepy really. But apparently he understands how to generate the tingles in bed and she was hooked. The sex was wild, whenever he decided to call.

Meanwhile she met and started dating another guy, also with a great union job, who is truly smitten with her. He offered to take care of her and her girls, buy a house, she could stay home, be loved and cared for.

Except she didn’t feel the tingles, and she couldn’t stay away from the bad boy. Whenever he called, off she would go, ditching her steady Eddie for tingles.

For some reason he hung in there, hoping to be the good guy still standing at the end of it all. I suppose if guys can get tingles, he’s got them for her. Ironically he used to be a player until he met the one who played him. Karma? I am not sure.

In any case this has gone back and forth for several years now. About two months ago she told me she was pregnant, w bad boy’s baby. (Steady Eddie is snipped, 3 grown kids of his own.)

Once again bad boy made all sorts of promises, and said they would marry and raise baby, only to change his mind after she packed up half of her apartment preparing to move.

I dropped in on her this week after picking her kids up from school for her on a half day, and we sat, among the boxes, while she updated me on the latest. It appears now that bad boy is gone, Steady Eddie is having serious second thoughts himself. Imagine that?

Tingles and attraction are very important, but they can also lead a gal seriously astray. And when they do she may find herself pregnant, alone, and surrounded by broken dreams and half packed boxes, with no idea what on earth she’ll do next.

Let those who have ears hear.

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60 thoughts on “A Tale of Tingles”

I bet Vixen was a church-going girl. Were there any clues about her back in high school? “In high school, she was the gal topless and making out with another girl for attention at parties.” Second virginity plan. Do I feel sorry for any of the men who got involved with her? No. Do I feel sorry for Vixen? No.

Agreed, Fuzzie. She briefly thought she’d finally “got her man” but no. She has not said but I suspect she did this on purpose. She cleans houses for a living. I don’t know how she’s going to do that while pregnant. It’s a mess 😦

This is a good example of why ‘inner game’ is so important. She obviously thought she had her ‘outer game’ figured out in how to hook a man, whether he be Beta Bob or Chad Thundercock. But to keep the men she hooks require strong inner game, and that’s just more than making sammiches (although that skill certainly helps). It requires improving herself as a person; in wisdom, job skills, parenting skills, and watching the back of her partners instead of saving her own skin.

If a woman is only good about watching out for numero uno, she should just expect to get kicked to the curb when the male tingles subside.

This gal is a fairly good domestic, cooks and cleans, but what she lacks is a pleasant loving attitude and loyalty. Once in a relationship she becomes shrill and harpy, demanding, entitled. None of it good. Agreed her inner game is weak, possibly because she’s been able to skate by on her looks and sexuality so far, rather than develop as a person. I have tried numerous times to counsel her to no avail. I could see she gets it that she is about to hit the downward slope, and without anything but her fading looks and Jerry springer drama I doubt there will be any permanent takers. She tried to spin plates like an alpha and lost. The rules are different for women, they just are.

She tried to spin plates like an alpha and lost. The rules are different for women, they just are.

Men care about loyalty a lot more than women do. Women also have the girl herd to deal with. And women have to worry about vaginosis, which isn’t an issue for men. And femininity in women (submissiveness) is attractive. Shrill and harpy is unattractive.

@ fuzzie I hope she figures it out but with each update I have less hope of that. I feel for her kids most of all, they have to live in the mess their mother is making. She takes care of them physically – teeth brushed, baths nightly, 3 meals – but emotionally no. I have greatly minimized contact between my girls and hers because I can see already the teen rebellion to come there. Not good 😦

At this point I should add, I am hardly perfect myself. So this is not meant to be a judgement of her, but a warning to others where the moral compass of today points. According to cultural norms today, she’s “doing it right” but really, shes not. The sex possie, do what feels good path is destructive. I love the sinner but not the sin, and pray she will wake up for her children’s and her own sake. I keep tabs on her and do what I can, but I have found I can be in her life but not of it.

Well, we men in the Manosphere don’t so much judge women morally so much as evaluate their sexual marketplace value and prospects. Using the automobile ‘blue book’ metaphor, Vixen didn’t have much resale value to begin with and based on her condition would be coming in well under blue book value.

It may sound cold to deal with a person you don’t know as chattel to be appraised, but hey, that’s life in the dating world. The betas can care about how special a snowflake she is, us sigmas and alphas have to run the numbers.

This is true Eccentric, women today seem to have no concept of this. Had her behavior been different the outcome would likely have been far better, to deny cause and effect would be foolhardy. If she could connect the dots between her choices and the outcome rather than blame the guys, she’d be far ahead realizing she’s choosing, she has choice to live a train wreck, or not. Her actions create reactions.

I wouldn’t it was so much sex positive that brought Vixen to grief, I’d lay it all down to her burning through men as if they were lined up for her. I think it would help a lot if we could spread the idea that, once children are in the picture, it is a very good idea to hang onto the father and keep him in the house.
The problem with women like Vixen and betas like me is that we don’t know all the details until we’re in the deep end of the pool. Having said that, it would be a bad thing for her to try to trap a beta. She will chew him up and spit him out touts suite.
From the beta’s point of view, it’s hard to trust women. Too many of them want to play tricks.

@ Liz indeed, and it does not pay off, this weird hedging of bets or hand in two pots or whatever she is trying to do, which honestly I would bet she herself does not even know.

Re: saying all the right things, when we first met it was all true love forever and all about the children, really eloquent and seemingly deeply moving stuff. But over time the actions simply don’t match the words. She seems to think of little besides what she wants and needs, the center of her own universe. 😦

Most people know what they are supposed to say to make themselves sound good, Bloom. That’s why it’s important to watch what they do. It started early for her, sounds like. It’s very unlikely that anyone who engaging in public attention whoring bi-exhibitionism to tittilate adolescents at parties is going on to great things.

And the attention whoring seems to be addictive. Perhaps that explains the constant soap opera? And honestly I think also, she runs on feels and tingles mostly, the lizard brain (no reference to you, Liz) runs the show. Not good.

@ farm boy, I am not sure what she’s doing about that. And honestly, between us, it still sounds like she sees him as settling. I think he deserves more than that. Her attitude did not say to me she had any revalation there despite all he has done for her, so I was mute on that. I don’t want to encourage her to “use” him. 😦

Redpillgirlnoes,
You sre right. She should leave Steady Eddy alone. If she gloms on to him, she will burn through him.
I have to wonder, how many out there are like Vixen, who thrive by burning through the good will of kind untingly men?
I don’t see a solution for Vixen. The best thing she could do is to buckle down and leave men alone.

What I don’t understand is why do women like her use good men… and why do the good men fall for women like her and get used?

I know it’s a bunch of things probably, but it always gets to me when i see it.

My mother used to talk about Potiphar’s wife as being this kind of woman, and said that her type preys on good men. She wanted me to save one of the good men from that kind of woman, since the good men for some reason don’t always seem to know they’re marrying someone who is going to destroy them later on in life.

I have this theory that women who turn into whales in their marriage have a sort of reverse contempt for their husbands (“all he can get is this! what a loser!”). Doesn’t make a whole lot of sense because the contempt should be with themselves, but it does seem to work that way. Maybe it’s a form of mutual contempt…for oneself (look at me) and for him. Doesn’t really matter the mechanism, what matters is results and this seems to be the result too often to be coincidence.
I think there’s something to that with serial sluttery and cheap behavior, too. So a person like this will never treat a “good man” well. Unless he treats her like a cheap whore.
Per attention whoring, contrast Taylor Swift with Miley Cyrus. Both rich and famous, both (from what I’ve read) nuttier than a grove of acorn trees. Who is more marketable (as in, likely to land a high value man willing to commit to her)? There’s no contest, it’s Taylor Swift. Miley is a joke, I doubt most (particularly equally rich and famous) men want to be seen anywhere in public with her. Taylor is the smart one.

It has puzzled me too, why she doesn’t prefer the obviously better choice guy. He’s even much better looking!

I do think you are onto something Liz, the bad boy blows her off and treats her in bed like a dirty hoe. That triggers something in her. I tried to advise Steady Eddie to be less available, less supplicating, but he didn’t get it, he just said, “I don’t want to play games.” She wants what she can’t have, even to her own doom.

Redpillgirlnotes,
I think that you should tell Steady Eddy to stay well away from Vixen. As she is, she is poison and I don’t see a way of fixing her. There are a lot like her out there and, in the end, all they are good for is to encourage men to live alone.

Liz,
Of the two, Taylor Swift is the more charming but, the answer is neither. I think that Miss Swift has to hanve an ego that wouldn’t fit under Tom Mix’s ten gallon hat.

I have this theory that women who turn into whales in their marriage have a sort of reverse contempt for their husbands (“all he can get is this! what a loser!”).

I’ve thought that too, but only for a certain percentage. What about the women who married a guy they were attracted to that then turned into a supplicating beta? She develops contempt for him and feels miserable with what she’s stuck with, so she lets herself go not caring any longer. I’d guess it’s even worse for the woman who changed lanes and married a provider she’s not attracted to.

Who is more marketable (as in, likely to land a high value man willing to commit to her)? There’s no contest, it’s Taylor Swift. Miley is a joke

Which one has feminine-looking hair?
Which one has the bigger breasts?
Which one actually tries to look like a woman?
Which one would non-pedophiles want to take to bed?

Taylor Swift. Even if she’s crazy, she looks like a woman, not a slightly post-pubescent skank. I’m of the opinion that Miley’s claim to fame is the example she set for teenage girls in their rebellion against “traditional” norms of beauty and behavior.

@FuzzieYou would think with a population that has parity that women would value men. With parity, there is one one to a customer.

Hypergamy in action. It isn’t one to a customer because most men aren’t good enough for her. All her life she’s been told she’s a princess, a special snowflake taught to have very high self-esteem. Combine this with a bit more than a touch of cynicism and it becomes obvious that men were placed before her to be used and then discarded.

Artinsanal Toad,
All things being equal, it would be one to a customer. I don’t think that hypergamy answers all ofit but, they are definitely burning through men. It can’t last.
Hey, with this we made it to fifty comments. Time for a new page.