Here's the story in a nutshell. This guy was researching big foot stuff, because that's what he does, when he was approached by a couple of park rangers who told him about a cluster of weird disappearances, and the NPS' failure to investigate or or even keep records of those disappearances properly. So, he started to investigate, and detected 28 "clusters" of disappearances around the USA and other parts of the world, with certain similarities.

The people who disappear generally do so in thin air - often companions are like, "S/he was right behind me." They disappear for several days, but when found (alive about half the time), are generally in good shape, and sometimes much farther away than they would normally be able to walk. The disappearances are often immediately followed by terrible storms, which is weird anyway, and makes it even stranger that people are found in good shape. Many are children or developmentally disabled people who can't tell their stories, while those who can just say that they can't remember, or they "woke up" wherever they were found. Berries, in particular huckleberries, are often associated with the disappearances. Bodies of water are also associated with the reappearances. Like, a 3yo kid will be found a week later, after a horrible storm, 22 miles away with no shoes on, his feet in perfect condition, lying on a sandbar in the middle of a little river. Oh, yeah, most victims lose their shoes, and often other items of clothing. A disproportionate number of disappearances happen in places with supernatural-type names, like "Devil's Punchbowl" or whatever.

Here are a couple of radio shows to listen to if you want to get all stoned and freaked the fuck out:

SO. He sort of became an expert on weird missing person cases doing this stuff, right? Which led him to another set of mysterious disappearances, urban disappearances of young men, who are found in canals.

Here's a radio show. Yes, these things are like two hours long. And they are amazing.

Basically, there are dozens, maybe hundreds of young men who are disappearing in various cities. They tend to be athletic, intelligent university students or graduates, often of German heritage. They typically disappear after a night of drinking, and their cell phones often go dead right as they disappear. Like the National Park disappearances, they are often with people who lose sight of them for a moment or two, and then they're gone. Poof. They also lose their shoes and sometimes other items of clothing. They're found weeks later in canals or other bodies of water, always dead, with huge amounts of alcohol and other drugs in their systems. The weird part is that they appear to have died on dry land, apparently after being held somewhere for days or weeks after their disappearance, then dumped in the water much later.

So, I really like this guy because he's totally respectful of all the callers who keep telling him it's aliens, bigfoots (bigfeet?), the CIA, the KGB, etc etc, but he's very careful not to discuss anything except actual evidence. Like, "This is what the coroner's report said." Which makes the whole thing even creepier.

Anyway, just thought this was the appropriate place to share this stuff. CREEPY AS FUCK.

"4 cylinder Camaro=communism" El Presidente

"You can smoke salmon but it's not quite the same as smoking heroin." nanuq

Which also needs to be revamped. Dude, if you read this, I'm a huge fan and can't even hike with my 3yo of German heritage in our area parks (which are clusters - western Georgia and the Smokies) anymore without keeping him right in front of me. But what's wrong with WordPress?

"4 cylinder Camaro=communism" El Presidente

"You can smoke salmon but it's not quite the same as smoking heroin." nanuq

RIGHT? I still haven't ordered his books because my to-read pile is higher than my head, but the interviews kill me because he's like, "Well I go into that in my books, but won't here, let's talk about a case I discussed on another two-hour interview the audience has already listened to."

There's a little 2yo boy who has gone missing in Tennessee, and I'm like, "The fairy-alien bigfoots have him." I hope they do, it's super sad. But the case has several of those hallmarks that Paulides discusses. He was with his grandmother, he pretty much disappeared into thin air when he was a few feet away from his grandma in the woods, there was a creek right there, but they've search it and he's not in it, there was a big rainstorm right after he disappeared, they've got more than 1000 people looking for him and nothing. Well, I keep waiting for them to find his shoes, but so far they haven't announced anything like that. And everyone in TN is part German, it settled by Germans who couldn't deal with the original 13 colonies after independence. If he reappears in good shape next week, with no shoes, I'm going to be very happy for the family - they look like lovely people and of course this is a terrible thing to have happen - and creeped right the fuck out.

"4 cylinder Camaro=communism" El Presidente

"You can smoke salmon but it's not quite the same as smoking heroin." nanuq

And, because I can't talk about this with anyone IRL because suburban motherhood means closely guarding the illusion of sanity at all times, I'll just keep posting here. Sorry.

So, between Thursday 1pm when the kid, Noah Chamberlain, disappeared - Paulides says they usually disappear in the afternoons, FWIW - and today, 50 hours later, they've had more than a 1000 volunteers working round the clock, combing the woods. Nothing, at least nothing that they're releasing to the public. Then, today (it seems from the Internet stuff) the Tennessee Bureau of Investigation took over, told the volunteer civilians to go home (because too many of them were getting hurt?) and massively increased the size of the search area. The two rumors that civilian volunteers are talking about are (1) that they didn't see Noah, just the grandma and sister, on the trail cameras, and (2) there's no way a 2yo could get far in those woods.

If you listened to those Paulides interviews, he talks about how the FBI follows these cases, too. (In one creepy bit, he mentions that he stopped seeing the same FBI agent all the time when he went to investigate a missing kid..... and later, one of the parents told him that agent had committed suicide dunDUNduuuuunnnnnnnnn.) So in my conspiracy world, I'm like, "Oh, the FBI noticed this disappearance fit the Paulides profile of fairy-alien bigfoot abductions and now they know where and when to look for him, since kids are generally returned alive and then die when they get stuck out there because the search only covers an area that a normal 2yo could cover in a couple of days."

Of course, I had to take a look at the google maps to see if anything was called "Devil's Sinkhole" or whatever, and nope nope nope. BUT. And this may be where the "trail cameras" come in, but there a state park, http://tnstateparks.com/parks/about/pinson-mounds, Pinson Mounds Archaeological Park, right there. An huge pre-Columbian mound city that was mysteriously abandoned long before Europeans arrived dunDUNduuuunnnnnnnnn. But it's not anywhere near any of Paulides "clusters" of disappearances. Those are mostly in East Tennessee, in the Smokies. BUT STILL. Sorry to keep posting but I have to discuss sane-people things IRL and frankly I could give a fuck about car insurance or the stock market.

"4 cylinder Camaro=communism" El Presidente

"You can smoke salmon but it's not quite the same as smoking heroin." nanuq

FINALLY the peanut gallery on the county sheriff's FB page brings up Paulides. I was sitting on my fucking hands every time one of my fellow good-hearted but not adequately conspiracy-minded Tennesseans was all "How can the dogs not catch a scent if the kid's in a diaper?" "How can a 2yo just disappear into thin air and not appear on the trail cameras?" "Why is the search area so huge, no two-year-old can possibly walk that far?" and worse, blaming the poor grandma for killing little Noah. But ***FINALLY*** a couple of people less nervous about appearing insane in the public shouting match that is FB posted about Paulides and said not to blame TBI or the grandmother.

ANYWAY. If the fairy-alien bigfeet captured this kid, he's going to magically reappear by Wednesday somewhere that has already been thoroughly searched, or somewhere ridiculously far away, right next to a body of water, with no shoes. And be totally fine despite the wet, cold conditions. (Or, if the rescuers don't get to him on time, he'll be hurt or dead - but recently, after being fine for four or five days during the interim.) The prayer warriors asking Jesus to take care of Noah all over social media will praise God and thank him for protecting the kid, but somewhere, the FBI and David Paulides will be like WTF is going on and what are *they* even doing with our kids when they snatch them off this plane of existence for a few days? Well, unless the FBI knows. They used to send green berets in when this sort of thing happened, but now they just send an FBI agent to take notes and tell them to widen the search area.

"4 cylinder Camaro=communism" El Presidente

"You can smoke salmon but it's not quite the same as smoking heroin." nanuq

About time some serious search specialists and trackers came out of the woodwork. If someone has a spare $2M a reasonable team could be assembled to focus on the problem for 12 months. So that's never going to happen.

nowonmai wrote:About time some serious search specialists and trackers came out of the woodwork. If someone has a spare $2M a reasonable team could be assembled to focus on the problem for 12 months. So that's never going to happen.

I have an idea that would probably work.

Go Fund Me. Have a combination of armchairs and limited skill trackers put on clothes that play the part, claim knowledge and know how to solve this mystery but we just need funds.

Get $2million.

Drink in hotel bar.

Hire some crazy vagrant or crust-core punk to create a vagrant camp near the investigation. Provide drugs with about $200k. Plant evidence on the one you think is the most crazy rapey of the group and have a Scooby Doo moment as The Case of The Mystery is solved.

Aaaand, now there are internet rumors that the 2yo's shoes were found. And the search area has been widened even more, with helicopters and law enforcement from "out of state." It's been rainy and freezy for three days, and they still think a 2yo wearing a light sweater and no shoes is going to be found alive, despite 100s of cops and 2000+ volunteers and lots of scent dogs combing two square miles, now six square miles, finding nothing but his shoes.

They know what's up. Come on fairy-alien bigfoots! It usually takes four days to a week, so there's a chance he'll magically re-appear tomorrow! His parent are super cute, I really really want them to get their kid back.

"4 cylinder Camaro=communism" El Presidente

"You can smoke salmon but it's not quite the same as smoking heroin." nanuq

David Paulides just cancelled a radio show appearance a couple of hours ago. Hopefully he's going to help find this kid. Tennesseans act all Jesus-y, but deep down inside we believe in the Bell Witch and all kinds of creepy legends, someone on that police force would be just exhausted enough to take him seriously.

"4 cylinder Camaro=communism" El Presidente

"You can smoke salmon but it's not quite the same as smoking heroin." nanuq

Still haven't found the kid, but today they had a press conference confirming that the FBI is involved "just for the extra help." Ahem. They also refuse to issue an Amber Alert, which is surprising, unless you know about fairy-alien bigfoots.

"4 cylinder Camaro=communism" El Presidente

"You can smoke salmon but it's not quite the same as smoking heroin." nanuq

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