5 First Date Follies

March 30, 2012

It’s springtime!!!! And, you know what that means? People are shedding those winter lbs. and are getting frisky! It’s time to get back into the dating pool, people!! Luckily for you, the good doctor is here to save you from yourself as it relates to making the correct decisions on a first date. Specifically, it is the single-mindedness of this column to instruct you knuckleheads on what NOT to do! Let’s begin!

Select Something You Both Enjoy

On a first date, you want everyone to feel as comfortable as possible. That may not happen if, as the date organizer, you select an activity that only you enjoy or more specifically, excel. Face it, if you are an avid hiker and the other person isn’t, you might as well have scheduled a Gulag!!Do your research. Find out what the other person enjoys and match it up with your own interests; this way everyone walks away happy.

Watch the Topics of Conversation

It’s your first date you idiot! There is zero reason into delving into subject matter that has been argued over decades. Do you seriously think you are going to hash out a critical religious or political matter over the course of one date? And for that matter, don’t talk about EX’S! No one gives a damn if your EX was a runway model or played professional sports. You are there with someone new and THAT should be your focus.

Easy on the Sarcasm

They don’t know you and you don’t know them. So, people (and you don’t know their intelligence level either) may have difficulty interpreting the level of seriousness in your tone. Yes, most definitely, have a sense of humor, but leave the biting sarcasm at home.

Don’t be Such a Showoff

Remember, the point of a date is to sell yourself to the other person; not to embarrass them. So, it serves no purpose to make them feel inferior. Annihilating them in pool or acting like a know-it-all at a museum, is not going to elicit happy, happy, joy, joy thoughts from your companion.

Choose an Activity with a Definitive ENDING!

Look, not every date is going to be successful. Therefore, do NOT schedule activities that appear open ended. For instance, one of the common choices for a first date is to meet for drinks. This is a MORONIC choice because at no time is there a definitive event that signals the date is coming to a close. Usually, it ends with an awkward, “ready to go.” Good or bad date that ending is as stale as 6 month old bread.

Choose instead to go out for dinner; go run a particular trail, but something that has an obvious ending. Then, if all goes well and you want more, you can suggest carrying on the date at another location. If it’s going to hell in a hand basket, well, there’s your out!!!

There you have it and you’re welcome!

Do you have a topic you wished to be addressed in this column (by either the good doctor or Dr. Evil)? Or, do you need advice with a relationship concern? Contact me at drmikeexaminer@gmail.com.

Or, are you in the Tallahassee area? Dr. Mike is now taking on new clientele for individualized therapy. Send an email to inquire about setting up an appointment.

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