Harris Poll Releases Its Power Ranking Of Corporations Based On Reputation

“Business is personal. It’s the most personal thing in the world.” – Michael Scott

Market research firm Harris Poll released its annual corporation power rankings based on corporate reputation (And the results may surprise you!). Ranked one through one hundred, 27,278 people were surveyed and respondents were asked to name companies that stand out as having the best and worst reputations. The bottom of the list includes a who’s who of modern American boogeymen:

Bottom 5

100. Goldman Sachs
Dead last, nice. Everyone hates them, but few understand what they even do. I blame Twitter.

#1: Every guy should be on Christian Mingle. Those chicks will believe anything.

98. Dish Network
Cable company? Weird. Guess that power move on FOX News backfired. You come at the king, you best not miss.

97. Monsanto
Don’t fuck with our food, man.

96. Halliburton
Oh, got it.

Okay, no real shockers on here. Although, I thought the only people aware of Monsanto were burnout friends of mine from high school who post weekly anti-Monsanto articles to Facebook. Here are your highest performing corporations:

Top 5

1. Wegmans
Best potato salad in the land, per my coworker.

2. Amazon
I’ve never had a bad experience. Amazon is starting drone delivery soon, so we’ll see how that shakes out.

3. Samsung
Okay, I guess. Had a Samsung phone for three days, and it interfered with my group text. Sent it back for an iPhone 6+. I am true yuppie scum.