Wilby Wonderful (2004) Movie Script

Watch the birdie. Hey, let me give you a hand. - No, I got it, I got it. - Yeah? How did that happen? Just Exercising. - Oh yeah? - Anyway I'll see you then. See you. It's 10 minutes before the hour of 8:00 and another beautiful Wilby morning, here at WLBR Island Radio, the music of your life, yesterday, today and tomorrow. Please note, the Wilby Island Sea Kayaking Club has shifted its activities from Wilby Watch to the municipal docks until further notice. News is next at the top of the hour. Our headline stories: Mainland fish plant workers strike a deal with cannery, names in Wilby Watch scandal to be published by the "Sentinel" next week, and Mrs. Margo Mosher of Clam Cove turns 101. Sunshine you that's my my aching chest give me a clue think I might fall in love if given the chance Morning, honey, I made you some waffles. - Uh, yeah, I gotta run. - Wait for me? No, that's okay, I'll just open up for you. Emily? Em? Hey! Sunshine you that's my my aching chest give me a clue think I might fall in love if given the chance suddenly I'm filled with hope To become unfatigable views turn into action sunshine you that's my my aching chest give me a clue think I might fall in love if given the chance suddenly I'm filled with hope to become unfatigable views turn into action sunshine you that's my my aching chest - My god, you're so late. - Shut up, come on. Don't tell me to shut up, that's so rude. - Come on. - We're lucky if they're even still there. Okay, they'll be there. Fall in love if given the chance if given the chance if given the chance If given the chance Deena, it's me again. When you get in make sure you call the town council office and tell somebody with a title the festival banners are going up today and tomorrow. And tell them the signs for the planters on Main Street won't be ready till the middle of next week. There was some confusion about everything being ready by this weekend, but that's just not gonna happen. And whoever you talk to at the town council office, ask them what their title is. I think they let the janitor answer the phone there. And very, very, very important, Deena, if Mayor Fisher calls, give him my cell number. Why aren't you in now? "Early bird" and so on. Shoot. Hi, Carol French here. I'm at my mother-in-law's place and I'm expecting a battalion of cleaners over here. Oh well, it's, uh It's It's half past that now. Yes, that's right. The open house is tomorrow, so Well, I'm glad to hear it. - What's that? - The view from the watch. Can you put it with the other stuff in the shed? You're not giving this away? Your mother always said it was ugly. Why don't you paint anymore? Let's just call it part of another life. I'm thinking, should I give Brent Fisher a call? - It's not even 9:00 yet. - Yeah, I know, but If I call after 9:00 it's more like business and I'm calling the mayor. If I call before 9:00, it's more like friendly and I'm calling Brent. Well, which is it, business or friendly? Well, both Friendly, in what time are they coming over for drinks tonight, and business in when do they want to see the house. It all sounds like business to me. - There's a few other things left over in there you might want to give a once-over. Oh Deena, another thing. I'm gonna need flowers for tonight. A truckload of flowers. The historical significance of Wilby Watch dates back to 1875, when Neil Peter French and a group of settlers landed on this very spot and founded Wilby. Yes, Stan, we know. What about the investigation? All we can officially say is that certain individuals became aware of the goings-on, ergo we received the information, ergo the current official police investigation is currently under way. - Can we get a shot? - Of what? Me? Okay, kind of like what? Kind of like Let's try one not smiling. Oh, okay. Mr. Jarvis, hi. Carol French here. Just wanted to let you know you've got two showings this afternoon. Get back to me and let me know you got this message. What are you doing with that? - It was my mom's. - For god's sake, buddy, it's a piece of junk. Leave it for the cleaners, they'll be happy to have it. I'll call you later. Deena Yeah, yeah fine. Don't worry about it, you're in now. Did Mayor Fisher call yet? - Morning, duck. - Morning, Sandra. - You're looking fit. - Yeah. I've been working on my abs. Give that a feel. - Uh, my hands are all - Maybe later. Here, take that, I can't even read it. - What is it? - That business at the watch. Poor bastards. Oh, yeah. Probably better off on the mainland, really. Catch ya later, percolator. I gotta go, Emily, I gotta go. I gotta go. - I gotta go. - No. Taylor, I gotta go to work. Will you come by for coffee later or something? Okay. And then tonight, right? - Yeah yeah, tonight. - Excellent. Emily! Do you think Stuart's gay? Something's coming I just know, I can feel it and it's something good and I'm just getting near it I like to walk barefoot on the ground and all around a thousand birds make the sweetest sound something's coming I just know, I can hear it oh so pure and clear and I'm just getting near it I like to run barefoot in the wind Where were you? - I thought you were going to open up? - Right. Uh Yeah, I I just went for a run. You went for a run? Yeah. Oh my god. What? You're sneaking off early in the morning to see a boy. - Shut up, mom. - Don't be embarrassed, honey. Mom. Mainlander or islander? I'm not even an islander. You are so the daughter of an islander. What are you doing? We've got to get the kitchen going. Nobody's coming in anyway. Maybe they would if the dining room was open. Everybody goes to eat at "The Loyalist." We're not leaving here, mom. Is that so? What's his name? Shut up, mom. Mainlander or islander? - Islander. - Oh thank god. - My little girl is growing up. - Shut up, mom! Island weather TODAY: Sunny this morning, chances of showers early this afternoon, clearing later today with fog expected this evening. Temperatures steady at 22, down to 15 tonight. Mainland weather? Who cares? No, just kidding. Rain throughout the day, heavy fog for this evening. "Ossifer"! Hang on, Ossifer! - I'm sorry, sir, I didn't - What sir? Brent, Brent. Look, I'm sorry about this. A couple of business associates of mine. Yeah. I didn't rec I didn't see the car. Right. Well, they're just in for the morning. Just doing a little pre-lunch wining and dining before they get back on the ferry. So, let me take care of that ticket for you. - No, no, no, I just - Come on. No special treatment for the mayor. There you go. All right. Hey, we're gonna see you guys tonight, aren't we? - Yeah. - I can't wait to see that beautiful house. - Sorry about your mom. - Well, you know, it was a long Cheers. Guys, sorry It's all about you, isn't it? - It's not about me - Hello? Oh, no, no, Mr. Jarvis. You shouldn't be here. An agent's coming over with a family in 15 minutes. You don't wanna be here for that. Oh my goodness, is that gas? - What? - You don't smell that? Oh my god. The pilot light goes out sometimes. Open the windows in there. But it's going very well. Apparently there's two families coming in today. Oh, darn if I'd known you were coming I would have brought those transfer documents. We should get them signed today in case there's an offer. You want everything in your wife's name. Val, isn't it? - Yeah, that's right. - Where is she? - She's out of town. - You're both from off-island, right? Yeah, west coast, originally. There's not a lot of us non-islanders here. We'll have to get together for dinner sometime. She won't be we'll both be we're moving on. Oh well It's hard to meet people. Anyhoo, so why don't you drop by my office? - Uh - To sign the documents. - Well - IF IT'S BEFORE 3:00, try my office. After 3:00 I'll be getting ready for an open house, so drop by there. Now you go on. I'll call you if there's any news. Oh, my god, oh! Oh god, oh no! Up next is news, followed by "Memory Lane" - I just thought - Sponsored by Dover Beach Cabins, Wilby's getaway from the fast Lane. Today's seventh caller to identify our "blast from the past" That sounds good. Yep, okay, bye. - escape to Dover Beach. - Don't want to be going to Dover Beach. - Why's that? - That's where the queers hang out. Ever since they got the boot off the watch, now they hang around the change rooms for the beach. - Give it a rest, Irene. - It's true. My cousin works for the "Sentinel," I've got the inside on the whole story. Did you ever hear of "live and let live," Irene? We don't do that here, thank god. - Are you smoking? - What? No You smell like smoke. Does he smoke? - Shut up, mom. - What's his name? - Shut up. - Honey, what's his name? Taylor. Mr. Jarvis? Oh, Jenny. Hi there, hi. How are you? Sorry, I thought you'd checked out. Uh no, no, no not till tomorrow. Oh. I was just checking the Seems pretty sturdy. Sorry, I How's your mom, your dad, everyone? Deena, did Mayor Fisher call yet? Well, did you get in touch with the town council? What have you been doing? What kind of flowers? Oh, that sounds good. Oh no, oh Nothing, I'll call you right back. Oh, no, no, no No! Hi, it's Carol French from the merchants' committee. What do you mean, everybody's at lunch? Yes, it's an emergency. Thanks for stopping by, boys. So, where's the problems? Same place? - Yeah. - Mind if I grab a coffee first? I'll take care of this, Stan, don't worry about it. Emily, can you get Stan a cup of coffee? And if you want a doughnut, take a doughnut. - Great. - Okay. There's nothing missing or anything, but there's something funny with the lock on the door again. - Same as last time? - Pretty much. Worse a bit. Can I help you with something, Irene? Those Hawaiian fresh? - So it's worse, is it? - Yeah, a bit, quite a bit. - Quite a bit worse? - Worse worse. - Worse worse? - Yeah. Crazy worse. - We can't keep doing this. - We haven't done anything yet. Not here. I'm closing up at 6:00. - 6:00? - 6:00. - Ahem - What are youse doing out here? - The window. - The window. It's not locked. Well then, there you go. It's not locked. True enough. There you go then. We better get investigating. Carol and I used to come here all the time. She loved it here. She said it was a very important place, because when you looked out there you could see where you came from. And if you can see where you came from you can remember what you wanted. Oh yeah? So what do you think, your grandfather just climbed up those rocks there, stuck a flag in the ground? - It was my great-grandfather. - Those were the days, huh? Explorers and settlers and all that. And now what? It's too bad it couldn't come to something. - Come to something how? - All this beautiful land just sitting here empty like this. This is the only piece of coast that hasn't been developed. That's what I mean, it's a shame. Going to lunch. Here comes one of the queers from the watch. Irene! - I'll have a - Double double? Yeah. No wonder his wife took off back where they came from. Who wouldn't? Irene, shut up. Forget it. We'll be seeing who's shutting up when the paper comes out next week. What are we supposed to be looking for anyway? - Evidence. - Evidence of what? - Wrongdoings. - Oh, right. They're making a circus out of nothing. I think it's only gonna get worse. - What is? - Oh my, looky-looky. What was I just saying? Look at this, buddy. What? Drug paraphernalia. Who put that there? - The drug addicts. - What drug addicts? The only drug addicts in Wilby are the ones who buy it in a bottle at the "loyalist." Obviously they're bringing the drug addicts in. Who's bringing the drug addicts in? - Them. The bad people. - Oh yeah? Now they've set up their headquarters here at the watch. It is a cancer on the face of Wilby and must be ecradiated. - What? - You know, got rid of. Right. Well, keep looking. No, no, wait. You stay here. I'll have a look. All right. Right on then, buddy. WLBR Island Radio Carol French real estate. Deena, do you have a number for Walter MacDonald? - Who? - Walter MacDonald, the workman. Oh, "duck," the painter. Yeah, yeah, he's a real Picasso. Everybody calls him "duck" ever since high school. Because when he was little, he was really short, but nobody calls him Walter. They'll be calling him unemployed when I get through with him. - Uh-oh, how come? - Just get me a number for him. I'm gonna need you to do something else. You're gonna need a piece of paper and a pencil. - You got it? Okay. - Mm-hmm. - Get the town council on the phone. - Now? No, once I've explained what you have to do. - Do you wanna hear about the flowers? - Not right now. - Paper and pen? - Oh Get the town council on the phone, someone with a title, and tell them there's a problem with the banners, and they won't be ready for two weeks. For two weeks, that's easy. Then wait 10 minutes and call back. - Uh-huh. - Tell them to disregard the first message, that everything's gonna be fine, that I'll take care of it, and the banners will be ready by the middle of next week. Do you want me to say you, Mrs. French, will take care of it, or you, Carol, will take care of it? It doesn't matter. Um say Carol. Okay, I was gonna be taking my lunch. - What time is it? - Lunchtime. Can you do this first? - You got your highlights redone! - Yeah, I did them myself. Oh yeah. They'll fade in nice. Chop chop. - Ding-ding. - I'm closed. I just brought you your coffee on my way to lunch. - Dan, right? - Yeah. Sandra Anderson. Been away awhile. Just trying to make a go of iggy's. Do you remember iggy's? No, it was closed when I got here. Right. Listen, don't mind Irene. She doesn't know anything about anything. She really should just keep her hole shut. I don't know what you're talking about. Okay, well, we'll see you then. Ding-ding. Not another trace of nothing anywhere. Well, that's a lot though there. - I'm gonna hold off on the report, though. - How come? 'Cause I wanna get these needles tested. It looks like they've never been used. Oh uh We'll do another search tomorrow then. Why is that, Stan? You think there's gonna be a lot of action up here tonight? No, just You know, no. Come on. Right right. Thank you. Oh I should have had the tuna melt. This gravy's yesterday's for sure. I can't wait until you get your kitchen running. - Oh, we'll see. - I'm telling you, you get that dining room done, they'll be lining up from here to Dover Beach. - Emily's got herself a boyfriend. - Oh my god! - What's he like? - Don't know, I just found out about it. - She's sneaking off early in the morning to see him. - I hope she's got protection. We don't want her ending up like you. Hold on. Hey, Mrs. corkum? - Hello, Deena. - You remember Sandra Anderson. - Hi. - Sandra's running iggy's now. You should drop by. She's gonna be doing lunch soon. I've been away for a while. I know you, though. I went out with your son in high school. Oh yes, while he was dating Pam hillman. She was a lovely girl. Bye, Deena. Oh my god. That woman wouldn't know class if it crawled out of her ass and started to speak French. Hey, you're late. I've gotta get out of here. - Oh. - Hi. I thought you were Deena. You wanna go for lunch? - For lunch? - Yeah. We used to, you know, go for lunch. Oh, I had something. - Sorry I'm late. Hey, buddy, what's new? - Hi, Deena. Oh you know, just Um, why don't we go for some coffee? For coffee? I gotta pee. I've got 50,000 things on the grill right now, buddy. Plus the mayor hasn't called yet. So are they coming over tonight or not, I don't know. - Yeah, they're coming. - How do you know? I saw him this morning. He said they were coming. And you didn't mention it? Did you tell them to call me? - No, but - For god's sake, buddy, can we be working together here? I'm talking about our future. Our future? Carol French. Oh hi, Mr. Jarvis. I'm leaving the office now, so can you meet me at the address I gave you? 10 minutes. Fine. Okay, bye. Time now for "community notebook." The women's auxiliary of St. Agnes by the sea hospital hold their strawberry pancake breakfast and bone marrow drive this Saturday at 10:00 am at the legion hall on garden road. Admission is $5. The first annual Wilby daze festival runs all next month and this is an early call for table registration for the flea market and craft fair which will be taking over the back parking lot at bargain giant. Registration for the table begins How heinous is summer school? God, how heinous is algebra? What do they mean "a equals"? A equals apple? MacKenzie, it's non-smoking. There's nobody here. - God, I hate my parents? - Why? They said that if I don't pass algebra and physics, I don't get my car back. - That sucks. - Yeah, it's basically abuse. Hey, can I take you to the mall later? I wanna buy you something. - You don't have to buy me anything. - But I want to. Oh god, you two. Get a room. Mmm That's the plan. There's no smoking, miss. Oh, yeah, sorry. Can I get another coffee please? Oh yeah, sure. - Is that him? - Shut up. - He's gorgeous. - Shut up. - Hello? - Oh Mr. Jarvis? Hi, come on in. I'm just getting ready for the open house tomorrow. I had cleaners coming this morning, but if you want something done right, you've got to do it yourself. Unfortunately, the gas smell was a bit of a problem at your place. The people were a bit put off. Gas will do that. I had someone from the gas company drop by and apparently there was no leak. So really it's just a problem of dealing with the smell. Now I can do that or you can do that. It doesn't matter to me. One more Just sign here. There. Okay, and here. Perfect. I'll check on your house when I'm done here then. Perfect. - Bye then. - All right, bye-bye. - Hi, buddy. - Hi, duck. Got a sec? Uh sure. - How are you doin'? - Oh, not bad. - And yourself? - Fine, better than some. Yeah. So do you have any Pull at the "Sentinel"? What do you mean? Like they're planning on printing those names from the watch and all that. - Apparently, yeah. - And what is the point of that? I mean, you can imagine that's gonna have a pretty bad effect on some people. - Like who? - Hey, sexy? - Duck, hi! - Hi, Sandra. Anyways, buddy, I'm so glad to see you because there's something Oh yeah, you were saying you had that trouble With that thing with the Thing right there. Anyway, I'll I'll see you around. Yeah, well I'll catch up with you later, duck. Yeah. - Bye, duck. - See you. Those jeans look so hot on you. - They were expensive. - They were worth it. They make your ass look amazing! - Shut up. - I'm serious. Thank you for the stuff. Don't you like it when I kiss you? No No, I do. I do. - You're so beautiful. - No, I'm not. Could we go back to your place for a while? My mom's gonna be home soon, so I For a little while? Yeah, for a little while. Excuse me. Oh, it's you. - Don't you have a phone? - Yeah. Well, why hasn't anyone been able to get in touch with you? I'm not home. We have a very serious problem. - With what? - What do you think? With the banners. - Oh? - They're backwards! - Backwards how? - It's "Wonderful Wilby." - What? - You got it backwards. - No. - Yes. I just put it the way they gave it to me. Who?! Who? On what, on what, on what? A piece of paper, the people from the - The woman from the - Can you read? Yeah. What?! Fuck the flowers, Deena! It's two words, it's two simple words. They go together two ways, the right way and the wrong way. - I'm sorry. - You're sorry. Shut up! You're sorry. Do things the right way and you won't have to be sorry. It's that easy. Just do things the way they're supposed to be done. That's all I'm asking. All I want is for things to be done the way they're supposed to be. That's all I want. You're sorry? You have no idea. I work and I work and I try and I try. And I'm the one who's And what's wrong with talking about the future? What are we doing if we're not talking about the future? How are things supposed to get better? And he wants to go for coffee? I don't drink coffee. I haven't had coffee since I quit smoking six weeks ago. "And how's that going?" Oh great, oh fine, thanks, thanks for asking! All I want is How's it supposed to be? I don't know. The sign, I mean. The other way "Wonderful Wilby." - Okay, ma'am. - Don't call me "ma'am." Okay. Do you smell gas? Good. Fine. My job is done. Can you go now? Thank you. I don't know, it's just I mean, I know seven years is not all that long. But at first, it was like It was like a perfect thing. It was easy. And then, mostly I think it was my mom. Her and my mom never got along. Now my mom is gone and I just I thought I guess I I thought maybe that would make her Make it easy again. And then now I look at her sometimes and I see It's almost like "Where did you go?" I'm sorry. Don't apologize to me, apologize to your wife. - I know - Don't worry, a couple of sessions of heavy petting in the back alley won't add up to much more than a night on the sofa. We're probably just playing out what we wanted to do in high school. You wouldn't even look at me in high school. All I ever wanted was for someone to say "I love you" and not want anything for it. Somebody will. We're not doing this. That's what I'm saying. No, that's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. That's a decision I'm making, all right? All right. Good. What do you think your wife sees when she looks at you? The statement made the bigger go in your mind long ago it dare not speak and did not show the dark's gotten you to grow let it out let it out let it out overwhelming on his own by himself not yet full-grown the statement patiently at rest sits atop a brown wooden shelf get it down get it down get it down get it down get it down get it ooh Get it down, get it down, get it down No. I love you. Oh no, let's just wait. - You're killing me. - No, it's just My mom's coming home soon, so Okay. Tonight. Yeah. Meet me there at 8:30. Okay. Taylor? I love you too. Hey, you're cutting it close. They're gonna be here in 15 minutes. Did you get something to eat? I cooked some cheese stuff and Sushi. What? What do you see when you look at me? Someone who's not dressed for company. Oh no, don't you dare. Apparently, she's deathly allergic. If you wanna smoke tonight, you'll be smoking outside. Go get cleaned up, please. And no talking about politics. I've just been living day to day I've got me a love that's true Honey, are you here? Honey? Honey? Emily? There you are, my beautiful baby. - Mom, you're drunk. - I'm not drunk. I'm celebrating. Yeah, and what are you celebrating? We are celebrating. Yeah, well, I'm actually going out. - 'Cause this is extra important. - Mom Okay, what? We are celebrating that you are starting out on your beautiful life with your beautiful self and we're celebrating that you're not gonna make a big mess of your life like I did. - Come here. - Mom, I Come here. Come on, come sit by me. Come here. What? Here. Condoms. That's right, honey. I don't want you getting too attached to this guy, okay, 'cause I don't think we're gonna be staying much longer in Wilby. I just don't think things are gonna work out. Why, did you already sleep with all the men here? Emily. That's what always happens, isn't it? We have to move because you have sex with everyone, or someone turns out to be a psycho or someone's wife finds out. Is that what happened with that cop? Stop that. Everything is not always about sex. I never said it was. Right, right, so then why would you give me those? So that you won't end up like me. No, I won't. Don't worry, I so won't because you are the last person in the world that I would ever end up like. What's the matter with you? Some things are about love, but you wouldn't understand that. Emily. Emily. Take these, take these. Take these, take these! - You are so fucking stupid. - Take these, Emily! - You are so fucking stupid! - Em - Welcome, welcome! - This is our daughter MacKenzie. Hi, MacKenzie. You know buddy. No, no, hello! Yeah, you two met. He works with your brother. - Which one? - Stan. Oh! Right, right! You work on the force, right, right? - Duh - Duh yourself! - So shall we go? - Sorry? - We're gonna go see the house! - Tonight? - Wasn't that the plan? - Tonight? Well The open house isn't till tomorrow. I know, we were gonna get in before the crowds. Right, sure, but - If you don't - Fine, no, no, fine. Fine, why don't we just have a drink and I've got a few nibblies. A drink? Oh, okay! Twist my arm! - Please sit down. - Sure. I thought were just gonna see the house. Be social for a minute! Come on! Ah-choo! Sorry, could you? - Oh, what? - Pollen. - Oh buddy - I'm gonna wait outside. MacKenzie, just shut up and get inside. Please, Elaine, don't be telling her to shut up. - Pardon me? - Now she says it to me. She got it from you! She's not getting it from me! You tell her to "shut up" all the time. Shut up! Hi Hey there. I thought that was your car. Got a couple minutes? I'm-I'm just on my way out. How 'bout a minute then? - Here. - What is it? Rum. Go on. - In a minute. - I already had mine. You have to have yours or we won't be on the same level. Why didn't you wear your new outfit? Don't you like it? No. Yeah, yeah. I It's just my mom came home and we had a fight. Forget about your mom. - Listen. - Listen to this. Wait. I love you. I love you too. Sorry to hear about your banners. That's a shame. Two words and he gets it backwards. What are the chances of that? - Is he dyslexic or what? - Maybe. I think it's better the backwards way. Well you can like the backwards way, but the backwards way can't be better because the backwards way is wrong. That's true. But I hear they're postponing the festival anyway. Er where did you hear that? - What with all the trouble down at the watch. - Oh yeah? What do I know? Don't listen to me. - I mean, it's your baby. - I don't listen to her. - Speaking of the watch Brent, what's the story? - This Sushi is great. I don't know. You're in charge of the investigation. You tell me there, buddy. I don't know. I haven't seen too much out of the ordinary. - I don't think that'll be for too much longer. - Oh yeah? Why? - Um, Sushi. - No thanks. Just an instinct. I think when the stuff hits the fan, and they publish the names of the individuals involved, - I think it's gonna be a different situation. - Yeah, but see, I think that's going to attract more attention to it. Don't we want it to fade away? - Well I think it's a serious thing. - Oh come on. People have been getting up to, whatever it is that they get up to out there, for years. - Shrimp? - Yeah, sure, sure. Yeah, well, I think we're dealing here with a different level of deviant underbelly. Why is that? It's just an instinct. - Well I think it's a whole lot of noise about nothing. - Nothing? - Yeah, well, I think it's a little short of nothing there, buddy. Buddy? Hmm? Oh, sorry. So sorry. You'll excuse me. Sushi, shrimp? Oh no, thanks. I can't have shellfish. - Oh. - I get hives. - I'll have some. - Oh sure. Mmm. They're good. You gonna have a seat? Yeah. I would have brought a bottle but I gave it up. Didn't agree with me. Well, it did agree with me, but on all the wrong stuff. Mmm. How you doing with everything? Maybe it's for the best. I mean, once they publish the names, right? Everyone will know. Maybe next year we'll have a parade. Mind some music? Yeah, sure. So what do you like to do? - What do you mean? - I mean what do you like to do? Do you have any hobbies or anything? Oh I don't know. Not really. Okay. Anyway Got another one of those? - You allowed to smoke? - I should think so. I'm 16. - They're bad for you. - So is this hellhole. What's a hellhole? - Wilby. - No it isn't. Hah. What's a hellhole about it? What's not? The people. Some maybe. - The weather. - In the summertime. - The land. - Which land? - The watch. - Not for much longer. - Why not for much longer? - Unless you like golfing. - What do you mean? - It's gonna be a golf course. - Says who? - My dad. These old guys who were at our house this morning are buying it. How's that supposed to happen? Because of all the sex and drugs up there. - What do you know about drugs up there? - My dad told me. The watch has become "a cancer on the face of Wilby and must be eradicated." - He said that? - Yeah. Huh. - Are these lights? - Um-hm. Lights suck. - Wait. - For what? - I just wanna wait. - Don't blueball me, Emily. I could get sick. I know a guy who ended up in the hospital. No, just for a little while. Oh, great! You're a tease! What, did you get that off that bitch MacKenzie? What? - You don't want to be a tease, Emily. - I'm not. I mean, you don't want people to think that. That's the worst thing they could think. Here. - It's warm. - Just drink it. There's ice out by the office. Okay, I'll take care of it. Why don't you get ready? I'll be back in a minute. Okay. That's a good one. When I told my wife she said, I mean We never really had that Kind of physical type husband-and-wife type of relationship. Right. But when it happened, I told her And I knew she'd be But She said, "I hope you rot in hell." It takes time for people. It's rough. - Sorry. - No, I like it. I like westerns. - What do you mean? - Something I like. I I like western movies. That makes sense. You're kind of a cowboy. A quiet cowboy. No, you should go. I sorry. No problem. I got some things to do. I'll see ya. No problem. If-if you ever need You know, I'm around. Good, thanks! - Open it! - See ya. Open the fucking door! Open the door! Open the fucking door! Hey! - You got a problem? - Mind your own fucking business. You all right? - Stay still. - Tell him to go! - Go. - My coat's in there. What the fuck do you think you're doing? What the fuck do you think you're doing? - My coat's in there. - Get him his coat. Don't fuckin' move. - My dad's paying for this room! - Yeah? He'll be paying for your fuckin' hospital bill. Get the fuck out of here. He's gone! Arsehole! Aren't you your mother's daughter? Oh yeah, sure. - That's a great wine. - Oh, it's Canadian. Really? Yeah, and it's a nice price too. I'll make sure I pick up some more - before you guys come over next time. - Speaking of a nice price, shouldn't we be headed off to see that house? And so sorry to hear about your mom. She was sick for years. Oh, so is Brent's. It's hard. Emphysema and diabetic. God knows how she takes those needles every day. I couldn't do it, I couldn't do it. - You know, I had a co-worker - Yeah, the house? You guys should get going. Well, how about you all finish up your drinks and I'm going to run over there ahead and make sure everything's as it should be. Um Brent, you've got my cell number. - Just give me a ding when you're on your way. - Okay. Buddy will entertain you. Oh. You know what, you guys? I just realized I have a little errand I need to run. - You know where the house is, yeah? - Yeah? The door's locked, so just pull it closed behind you. All right? - Jesus. - Huh. What's so good about islanders anyway? I don't know. People gotta call themselves something, I guess. Do you know him? - Do you want to say hi or something? Nah, I tried that. Who can figure people? Your mom, she's good at that. She knows people. If only she knew herself a bit better, huh? She wants to leave Wilby. That's what she said all through high school, but as soon as she left Wilby, all she talked about was coming back. Right? Right. So she doesn't know what she wants. She wants to love and be loved Just like all of us. Shit. Oh! Yes! Hello? What? Who? Brent, yes. Um, maybe we should wait until Where? Oh, yeah. Oh yeah, I see now. Right, then. Oh, no! No! Hello? Hi! Come on in. Hey. Oof! What you doing there, Stan? A little "ecradiation"? These ones are used, at least. This is something else. I have to tell you, this is something else. Oh, that's nothing. It's a chair. It's included, even though it's junk. That's not that's not Elaine's style of chair. - No, but I'm loving this! - It's creepy. Oh MacKenzie, shut up! - See? - Brent, shut up! What's that? Oh, nothing! That's peculiar. What is that? What is that? That's just left over from work they were doing. What kind of work? Big work, heavy work. - Why don't we just go this way? - Is it included? - Where are we going now? - The dining room. Chop chop. Look at these moldings! I'm drooling! Look at me drooling! It's a bit excessive on the woodwork for me, but I'm thinking a wedgwood blue maybe. - No! - What? No, it's just that that's just off limits for now. MacKenzie, please. Come on! - Let's go. - What was she looking at? What's in there? - Rags. - How big is it? Small. Tiny. Hmm. - Oh my god! - Nothing! Yes, what? - Look at this gorgeous yard! - Lots of mowing. Oh, Brent, shut up! Not particularly spectacular. Carol, tell me something. Is that window facing east? - Then it'd let in nice morning light - Where is the girl? - What? - Where is she? MacKenzie is probably looking around the house. - MacKenzie? - What? Everything's fine! Everything's fine! Right there in the living room. The fellow from the video store. He was one of the ones from the watch. It's gonna get worse when the names come out. Good, ship those freaks back to the mainland where they belong. I hear you loud and clear. Oh, hey, where's MacKenzie? Where's Elaine? Home by now, I guess. So what the hell is this, buddy? - What is this, Brent? - I haven't got a clue. I found Insulin on these needles. Your mother's diabetic, isn't she? I-I'm not getting your point there, buddy. Stan's come clean about the whole thing. Well, that's Stan's problem. You're a golfer, aren't you, Brent? You like golf, don't you, Brent? Look bud I'm retiring after this term. I was trying to make a good deal for myself. So that's You know "Golf is a good walk ruined." Who said that, Brent? I don't know, I don't know. Mark twain. I've never been much for golf myself, but I like Mark twain. - You know what else he said? - No. "Faith is believing something you know isn't true." You know what I have faith in, Brent? What? That you're a good man deep down And you're gonna do the right thing. You're gonna turn this whole thing around and just let it fade away. - Or what? - Oh, I don't know. Conflict of interest, conspiracy, planting of evidence, not to mention Dan Jarvis. Okay, well, what do you want? What do you want me to do? Keep that under your tongue, please, sir. Look, I don't care how you kill the story. Just kill it! Yes, you can. You're the editor. - Hey. - What? Hold on a second. You can pay your own tickets. Yeah Yeah, just say you lost the men's names. I don't care The dog ate them! Yeah, I owe you big time. Yeah, big time. Yeah, right. You know, if you hadn't been there, if you hadn't cut him down, he would have died. You saved him. What's happened to me? Let's just say it was part of another life. Come on. Come on. Something's coming I just know, I can feel it and it's something good and I'm just getting near it I'd like to walk barefoot on the ground and all around a thousand birds make the sweetest sound. - Hi. - Good morning. This is the part where you say you're sorry. - I'm sorry. - And well you should be. The language on you! And don't you call me stupid. - You're not stupid. - I know. Did you hear about Dan Jarvis? Yeah. But he's gonna be all right apparently. Thank god. We should send something over. Us freaks need to stick together. Yeah. How was your night? Awful. Yeah, he's an arsehole. How far did he get before you found that out? - Mom! - Huh? Not far. Arsehole. The gorgeous ones usually are. Well, you're gorgeous, so what does that make you? Brat! Yeah, well - I'm my mother's daughter. - God forbid. So were you here all night or Look at that kitchen. You could eat an egg off that grill. That's what you're supposed to be able to do. I'm sorry. You said that already. I love you. Will you come with me my love? All my love of a thousand lives will you come with me my love? I see it all there in your eyes oh Hi. Hey. Ahem How are you doin'? I'm good. I picked you these myself. Would you put these in some water, please? Have a seat. No, no, here. Nice shirt. Yeah, well, it's my good one. You're a bit of a cowboy yourself. Oh, I'd like to lie down gentle in your arms oh so warm and with peace in my heart I can start to call this world home will you come with me my love? Oh my love of a thousand lives will you come with me my love? I see it all there in your eyes will you come with me, my love? Oh my love of a thousand lives will you come with me my love? I see it all there in your eyes oh yeah oh yeah. You can't always change your mind good things happen from time to time his company is smooth like a rock from the sea and breezes impossibility if you go alone you know you won't make it I'm waiting for my day to come you know you'll always be from away but not as far as he has strayed her company is coming creeping like the tide when it pulls her under she will realize if you go alone you know you won't make it I'm waiting for my day when will my day come? Whatever will be will be wonderful whatever will be will be when my day comes whatever will be will be so you can't believe everything you see and nothing's ever the way it oughta be no company can comfort me if I'm the one to blame but the sun shines on me just the same if you go alone you know you won't make it I'm waiting for my day when will my day come? Whatever will be will be wonderful whatever will be will be when my day comes whatever will be will be wonderful whatever will be will be when my day comes whatever will be will be when my day comes whatever will be will be when my day comes. Good Dutchie.