Wednesday, May 15, 2013

He's too sexy for his dish dash!

Too handsome for his own good!

Here’s a small test : Who is Omar Borkan Al
Gala? If that name rings a bell, chances are you are a twenty-something,
net-savvy female. I stumbled across the name and image of this person when I
noticed my youngest daughter’s status. It read ‘Yummy!” This single word was
positioned under a photograph of a staggeringly good looking young Arab with a
rakish half-smile and fussily trimmed beard. I confess I was a little startled
by her open admission of…. shall we say, unadulterated lust? I decided to
conduct my own ‘research’ and discovered more about this international headline grabber . Omar shot to fame after he
was anointed the most desired poster boy du jour by females across the globe.
This was right after being thrown out of the
annual Jenadrivah Heritage & Cultural Festival in Riyadh. His ‘crime’? His
incredible good looks! Authorities feared this young guy (and two other men)
were a bit too attractive, too hot to handle, for the delicate local ladies at
the Festival! That is just so hilarious!What did the organizers imagine?That
women in droves would attack these hunks? Molest them? Rob them of their
virtue? Oooooh! The terrible weakness of out-of-control, lustful women. Ha! Surely this
incident marks an international first? I cannot recall another occasion when a
man was penalized for his amazing looks! It’s another matter that Omar Borkan
has shot to global fame overnight and become an obsession across continents! He
has been promptly grabbed by international showbiz agents ready to flog his
recent super celebrity status and make big bucks out of it. A movie role and more….

Years ago, I had a really fun night in London
at what was then considered a pretty risqué men’s striptease club in Soho. It was a riot! There were at least six
bachelorette parties in full swing that evening, which meant it was a crowd of exaggeratedly rowdy ( read: inebriated) women, whistling and hooting each time a new
act opened on the small stage. The ‘act’ didn’t go beyond a bunch of musclemen
stripping off their clothes to throbbing music. As each item of clothing was
peeled off, there were prolonged shrieks from the ladies. Since there were six
brides in the audience, the strippers made sure to come up and give each one a
special treat (let’s leave out details!). Some of those men were seriously well
endowed and good looking ( think John Abraham and Akshay Kumar playing male
escorts in Desi Boyz). High spirited ladies were placing bids and wondering how
much it would cost to take a couple of these fellows home. It was taken in the
right spirit – no offence meant, none taken. At the end of the show, most women
staggered off to the nearest bar to giggle some more… and prolong the innocent
madness of the evening.

Saudi Arabia is a different destination.
And this is not to compare cultures or judge them. It is just amusing to note
the high levels of male suspicion and fear in Riyadh. While pretending to
‘protect’ local women from swooning at the feet of these men and surrendering
to Adonis-like predators from across the border, the organizers were in fact
displaying their own paranoia and insecurity. One wonders to what extent
they’ll go in future to ensure good looking guys stay away from Riyadh? Will
they scan submitted pictures before issuing passes? Will there be an all male
screening committee at the venue scrutinizing visitors and sifting Greek Gods
from ornery hoi polloi?? Will they come up with a tax on good looks? What about
the women? Nobody knows their views . Have they admitted their weakness and
confessed they were unable to concentrate on a thing with Omar and his pals
prowling the grounds? Poor , deprived women. Can something similar happen in
India? Heaven forbid!

My eyes are peeled. I am looking out for
Omar sightings. Where will this dishy guy in a dish dash pop up next? My
curiosity has peaked. I have noticed my daughter’s fresh updates featuring a
whole new set of Omar images. With each
new photo session, he changes his fashionable head gear. From blood red to dune
brown. His kohl- lined eyes smoulder and smoke at the lens . He is looking like
a million bucks – and probably charging as much. We have countless Omars in India.
Fortunately, nobody dares stop us from drooling – yes - even in public. Arjun
Rampal has just topped the polls as 2012’s Most Desirable Man. Arjun’s
gorgeous. But Omar is better. He should definitely come to India. He’ll we
welcomed with open arms. Most of them female. But, why leave out equally
besotted men?

I have seen this happen ... right from the days I went to college in what had been Bombay.

In the early seventies, the in-thing with the girls was a bit different. Rajesh Khanna was the darling of the teenie boppers.

I consulted a shrink to discern the behavioural pattern.

The lady psychiatrist said something thus:

"Most girls would like to be mothers to the 'somewhat lost looking, men with a decent amount of effeminate characteristic'. Most of the teenagers try to be its exact opposite - showing off their manly traits. That is something the gals would like to avoid like plague as the trend triggers a fear psychosis ... as to what the man could do at home as a husband ... perhaps be a wife-beater? So, the girls would want someone with a chocolate image ... a guy who seems completely harmless and a mixture of clownishness and some smartness. Rajesh Khanna is exactly that in his movies. So the girls are going ga-ga over him."

Soon Amitabh overtook Kaka ... as the angry-young-man.

The psychiatrist explained the phenomenon.

"The sixties had the diffident politician ... who kind of made it big under the rather brow-beating presence of Indira Gandhi. Example President VV Giri. Those who opposed the woman power [example Morarji Desai] had lost out and lost out big. [One could fault his rather notorious urine-therapy, but we shall let that pass.] The girls went for Kaka then and the boy Vasus had to herd them to the cinema making the turnstiles work. Then came the unemployment and a frustrated youth on a national scale wanted to get even. More girls were getting either verbally abused by roadside romeos or occasionally groped while travelling by buses. So they looked for protection from a strong male character who bash up the baddies. In came Amitabh. Actually Dharmendra had the same image ... but he had belonged to an earlier era - so when the image changeover happened, he lost out. Plus, Amitabh could act better."

Perhaps, the trends have changed now.

Perhaps the girls like the rakish guys or the somewhat promiscuous chaps - like say Aamir or Shah Rukh or the Arab chap you mentioned.

With all the modesty at your majesty's command, your highness must confess that the Omar saga has put paid to ever, this unbelieving kafir being allowed into that enlightened 29th and a half century abode of the most pristine believers and the ultimate spiritual homeland of a multitude of the most tolerant and accommodating devotees the solar system has ever encountered. With a tinge of bitterness embedded in me, I will forever regret my inability to storm that divine abode to be ogled at and be seduced by a plethora of beautiful Burkha clad temptresses. With a feisty Sardarni in tow, not that I would have fallen for any of such naughty peccadilloes!

I love all the fun and commentary surrounding this hunk - who's obviously a marketing whiz. He was one of three who were deported for being 'too handsome' 0 but we know nothing about the others.Here we are girls - happily objectifying men, the way they objectify us - and why not? Anything goes - if it's lighthearted and friendly.

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