22 November 2015

Four

This boy turned 4 a few days ago. It all still seem surreal to me because it was as if I gave birth to him yesterday. He used to be so tiny and fragile! Now, he weighs almost half my weight so it's hard for me to carry him nowadays. He has progressed a lot during the past year since he has now started school. He's doing well in school and he's now knows how to play with other kids. I am really proud and happy for all the things that he was able to achieve during the past year. One year may seem to be a relatively short (and fast) period these days, but a lot can definitely happen during the same.

This kid watches #AlDub too!

This journey has made a massive impact on my life. I could say that I matured a lot, although there are still days when I need someone "more adult" than me. Nevertheless, I've learned so much. During all these years of having Zack with me, I think I was able to gain more than what I was able to offer him. I was able to realize the real meaning of motherhood, that is, it is not a competition and that it is a never ending earning process of making mistakes and correcting them. More importantly, I was able to open my eyes to genuine and unending love. With that, I learned how to love myself - not in a conceited way, but rather in a way that I was able to feel like I am a person worthy of respect and love. By being dependent upon me, he made me feel that I am such a worthy and deserving person. There are times though when I feel like I am more dependent on him for my happiness and that makes me feel like I am being selfish since I am sometimes not with him whenever he needs me. For all those things that he taught me and for being able to deserve all these, I am forever grateful.

Shirt - H&M, Shorts - c/o Robby Rabbit, Shoes - adidas

When I wished for good health for Zack during his birthday party, I truly meant that. He gets sick too often and I want him to become a stronger and fit kid. My other wish for Zack on his birthday is that I hope he continues to share and receive love to and from everyone. I wish that he'll continue to be the loving, extremely sweet, and happy kid that we all have come to love.