I've been using Bill Douglas' book The Complete Idiot's Guide to Tai Chi and QiGong. In the Sitting QiGong excercise he states that I'm not to feel, and then afterwards that I am, and it's left me confused. I think I've figured out how to not try, to give myself the mental imagry and then release it (since I live in a rainy area I use the sun or light with an image of rain falling afterwards - helps) but it seems I have to feel it to be aware of it so I can obseve it happen. Am I missing something?

Another thing... Even when I was little and knew nothing of Tai Chi I used to be able to lay back on my bed and drift for lack of a better word. I would lay still and relaxed, and it was like I fell right through the bed, and I could maintain that feeling for a long time. I mentioned this because I got that again when I was doing sitting QiGong this last time - and I recognized the feeling. I THINK that's the state you're supposed to be in - you can feel waves (?) flowing down. They seem to move too fast - but then again I wouldn't be an expert on this. It's more like I'm finally using a talent I had and didn't know about correctly. Part of my "heriditary memory" I believe - that's what I call stuff that is passed down in the blood through the generations - things you can do or excel at with no training or previous experience. Enough of my hypothises...

Well if I'm right and that's the state I'm supposed to be in somehow when I breath in it seems to stop the flow, and once I breath out it starts again. I have to try and not try to keep the flow going consitantly, or I don't get as much of it - if that makes any sense. I need to know if that's the right response. Could it be the way I'm sitting or because I have a bit of excess weight that I have to be in some particular position to breath without interrupting flow? When I try to direct it, or think about it, it looses power - that much I know. Which brings me to feeling again - it seems I have to feel then be aware for it to work right. Weirder still I'm thinking too much, so when I'm reading the excerise steps I actually have more flow than with my eyes closed. That tells me I'm doing something wrong mentally - although what I'm not sure.

By now you can see why I wanted to e-mail the author, but since I have no such option, and there are no teacher's I can get to, then my only choice is to post here. I hope someone can help out. Try not to misunderstand me because of my screen name and attitude - I'm a bit of a rough person I admit but try to forgive me for that.

Dear Deathbliss,Bill Douglas, author of "Idiot's Guide to T'ai Chi" is also the founder of the World Tai Chi and Qigong Day, a worthy initiative that draws tens of thousands of people to public displays of T'ai Chi around the world every year.You might be able to reach Bill via the http://www.worldtaichiday.org website.For bulletin board readers who don't have Bill Douglas' reference book yet, you may find it here:http://www.namasta.com/pressresources.php#8

We hope this is useful to you.The NAMASTA site is otherwise geared towards the needs of T'ai Chi instructors, providing many benefits to the mind-body community.