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Monday, July 22, 2013

Resident Evil Week: Hoardax reviews Tarman from Return of the Living Dead by Amok Time Toys (Confirmed: Great)

I want to thank Hoardax from Hoard World for submitting some great zombie themed reviews for Resident Evil Week at ThEpic Review. Ladies and Gentlemen, Hoardax:

I remember the NIGHT
very clearly. I'll never forget it. It was about a month ago. It was when
ThEpic Review requested guest reviews for their Resident Evil Themed ZOMBIE
WEEK Extravaganza. That was the exact moment that it DAWNed
on me that I didn't have any decent Resident Evil figures, like, at all. This
made me Sad Face. But then I remembered that I do have some pretty great
Zombie figures regardless, and it was about time they saw the light of DAY.

I'd like to think that if you're reading this toy review that you've already
seen the major motion picture RETURN OF THE
LIVING DEAD. However, if you missed out on the year 1985, never owned a
VCR/DVD/Bluray player and haven't been near a television or cinema screen
since, you can watch the entire film right NOW. I
think we can both agree that you really have no excuse to have not seen
the film at this point.

Having said all that, I'm so generous that I'm still going to make it
even easier for you (at the expense of everybody else in the world that is
reading this who has seen ROTLD, and just wants me to get on with this Tarman
Review) if you don't have 87 minutes to spare, and you can just watch this two
minute Best
Of Tarman clip. Crappier versions of Tarman also appear in Return Of
The Living Dead Part II and Return Of
The Living Dead: Rave To The Grave. More after the break......

Tarman was released by Amok Time Toys in early 2012. I had no idea it was
coming out at all and was totally surprised when I saw it on the shelf. I
bought Tarman immediately. It seems to have been a wise decision since he is
getting harder to find these days. Forget about rarity or value though, it was
a wise decision because I LOVE RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD.

And it's a TARMAN ACTION FIGURE. Are you serious? This is the best thing ever.

Tarman is easily one of the most iconic zombies ever committed to celluloid.
He's also primarily to blame for the general public's common (and often
incorrect) assumption that all zombies eat brains. Tarman made eating
brains famous long before Hannibal Lector force fed Ray Liotta his own brain.
Something that, I think you'll find, poor Ray Ray has never quite recovered from.

Before Return Of The Living Dead and Tarman's "Braaaiiiiins"
catchphrase, nobody had linked Zombies to brain eating, although I'm sure they
must've at some point on film previously....those Zombies sure do get hungry
all the time. They'll eat the giblets and everything. Yes, even the giblets.

Even to this day, Zombies and Brains go hand in hand. The recent Zom-Rom-Com Warm Bodies
revolved around the Brain Eating Zombies mythology. And changing the ending to
Romeo & Juliet. But mostly Brain Eating Zombies. It doesn't look like
Zombies and Brains are going to go to their own rooms and have a time-out any
time soon.

Given the cult popularity of Tarman it almost seems odd that he hasn't had a
figure until recently. I mean, NECA released the Hare-Krishna Zombie from Dawn Of The Dead for Crom's Sake!
(There's nothing wrong with that - in fact, that's pretty awesome but c'mon!)
It couldn't have been a licensing issue that's prevented the release of a
Tarman figure for so long because Amok Time released him. This is nothing
against Amok Time at all (they've been an extremely successful purveyor of toys
and collectibles since 1992) but they're a pretty small time toy manufacturing
operation in comparison to NECA or even Mcfarlane in its heyday.

Tarman comes with a relatively detailed diorama to stand on - which is
inspired. One of his brethren is still packed away in a toxic vat right behind
him. It's a nice touch. Tarman also comes with a brain that has had a bite
taken out of it. You can choose to leave it in its place in the diorama or with
some fiddling you can get Tarman to hold it.
Tarman's jaw has some capacity to open and shut which is kinda cool. This
figure has VERY limited articulation however. There's not a lot of poses you
can get him into at all. He can move his arms up and down and that's pretty
much it. The figure itself is so fantastic overall that his limited
articulation is by no means a deal breaker though. Think of him as more of a
detailed, film-accurate plastic statue with arms that move.

Like I said earlier, this plastic incarnation of Tarman has been doing the
rounds for a while now, and I'm not sure how great his distribution was to
begin with, so if you want to nab yourself a Tarman for your Zombie display or
simply because you're a massive Return Of The Living Dead fan and this is a
must, you should act sooner rather than later. I'm assuming he's long sold out
at most bricks and mortar pop culture/collectible stores as well as many of the
usual online retailers. Your last, best hope for a piece might be over on Michael eBay.

"Send More CAPS!"

For ThEpic Review's
Resident Evil Week, I am also doing Zombieriffic Reviews of the Marvel Select
Zombie Captain America and one of the most bizarre Zombie Superman figures I've
ever come across. Keep your eye stalks popped out for those!

HOARDAX is an extra-dimensional,
plastic underlord who probably doesn't even exist. He lives on Hoard World and
spends most of his free time on Facey B, where he commands his human assistant to
transcribe everything that comes out of his mouth in real time. He has hoarded
all sorts of wonderful things over the past 30 years that he'd love to talk to
you about. You should drop him a line some time. As well as ThEpic Review, he
has contributed content to Doom
Kick, Dinosaur
Dracula and Poe
Ghostal. He's currently addicted to Hoardstagram.