Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Greetings Fright Fans, Fiends, Freaks, Perverts and Sickos, and
welcome to the, oh so, horrifying House of Master Vyle Blog.This next review is a little something from
erotica territory, On the Back of a
Motorcycle, by Autumn Seave.

This short short story is the tale of Tim, a guy out for a night
of bar hopping and strip clubs to unwind from a long week at work.While at a local bar he discovers that one of
his fellow patrons is Darcy, his former high school sweetheart, and a girl who
never would go too far with while they were dating.

After catching up with Darcy for a little while Tim heads to a
local strip club, where he becomes enthralled with “Eve”, a tattooed dancer on
the stage.Much to his shock and delight
as soon as Eve’s number she runs to the back of the club and begins loving on
none other than his aforementioned high school sweetheart.

When the ladies leave the club on Darcy’s motorcycle Tim
secretly follows them to a secluded spot, where he sneaks up on them and
watches his two fantasy women get it on!

Although it’s not the greatest story On the
Back of a Motorcycle is enough to reveal
that Ms. Seave is a budding talent with a lot of potential to grow.She does a fair job at handling the male
point of view and delivering a tale that will titillate the average male smut
reader.For me this story made me
nostalgic for those old “Letters Magazines”, which this story reads like.I was reminded so much so in fact that it was
easy to overlook some of the more contrived, “male thinking”, parts of the
story, such as a pair of lesbian bikers carrying around a ten inch dildo on
their motorcycle.

I’m not sure if a broader audience will like this story as much
as I did.However, if you are like me
and loved wasting a day reading those old adult digest like Naughty Letters, Penthouse Forum Letters,
and the like you will be gripped by nostalgia, and the sudden need to run down
to the Naughty Shop to buy some.I give
this story Four Stars, and I can’t wait to see how Ms. Seave will develop in
the future.

Greetings Fright Fans, Fiends, Freaks, Perverts and Sickos, and
welcome to the, oh so, horrifying House of Master Vyle Blog.And yes that introduction is a little
different, and that is because I happen to be a lot of bit different.Plus I figured it was about time to make the,
um, BOG post introductions a little more in step with my House of Master Vyle Presentsintro.Now, if you have never watched my hosted
horror show, let me just say that I’m not surprised in the least.Hhehehehehe.

Anyway, it’s review time, and the story in question is The Glass Coffin: A Zombie Tale by Mark Christopher Scioneaux.Now, of course, over the past decade or so, zombie fiction has been all
the rage in the horror world.As a genre
it has only been around since the end of the 1960’s, unlike many other
subgenres in horror which have their initial basis in medieval, if not ancient,
mythology and folklore.That said,
zombie fiction, is still pretty much in its infancy, and there are only a handful
of authors with the skill and imagination to add anything new.Of course it’s not always necessary to add
anything innovative or new to the Romero Zombie Mythos, however a compelling
and character driven story are a necessary element to make one stand out and really
grip the reader.

Unfortunately The Glass Coffin lacks those things.It
starts off seemingly strong, but quickly falls apart, introducing characters
who are quickly killed off, so quickly in fact that one wonders why Scioneaux
even bothered to describe them or add anything about their personal lives.Plus, despite its strong start, you don’t
have to be an expert in zombie fiction to know exactly what is going to happen.

Tyler, the more of less focal character of this story, because
most of this story is unfocused, is so unlikable that you’re hoping he will die
a horrible death from the moment he is introduced.During a powerful storm this guy has nothing
better to do than to leave his wife at home to tend to their deathly sick
daughter while he bangs his girlfriend.Now, his wife Sharon and daughter Morgan are the only characters in this
whole story that you might feel any sympathy for, however they die so quickly
that whatever sympathy I did feel for them felt pretty wasted.

Anyway, our erstwhile hero, and trust me when I say hero I mean
that thinking that this guy is a hero is like thinking of your local meth
dealer as a hero, blows his wad and returns home, making it into the glass
elevator of his apartment building just in time for the power to go out.

Glass elevator?Yeah,
yeah, yeah…This is the titular “Glass
Coffin”, which I am sure Mr. Scioneaux thought was a cool and innovative idea,
and I guess it would have been if this story were written by someone with
actual writing talent.Like Danvers Asylum this
story smacks of high school writing assignment, and, to be fair, ninth graders
were probably the author’s target audience.

So, again, yeah, if you figured out what the “Glass Coffin” was
from the title alone, you pretty much know where this story is headed from the
opening word.I will not bother telling
you how the whole glass coffin bit is played out. I think you know it only has one of two
possible outcomes.I wouldn’t want to
spoil it for you or anything.

Hhehehehehehe.

All the other characters in this story are pretty much nothing
but zombie fodder, although there are a couple I think who may have been thrown
in to show that Mr. Scioneaux knows a couple of words in Spanish.Yes…Yes, he does decide to make the story multicultural, which is also a
failure on his part, because it’s painfully obvious he doesn’t know anything
about Latinos or Hispanics…Well, other
than the fact that they speak Spanish.

I give The Glass Coffin: A
Zombie Tale One Star, mainly due to
the fact that I was able to read it in less than ten minutes, and therefore was
not subjected to the endless tedium this would have been if it were a novella
instead of a short story.My opinion is
clearly not universal having seen other reviews on Amazon, but you know me, I
tend to be a little more discerning, and I like my reading on my level.

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About Me

Writer, horror host, current Mayor of the City of Public Domain, in Imperious POE COUNTY, FLORIDA. I love a good horror story, and horrible old movies. Comitted to bringing the finest movies in Public Domain to your living room. (Does anyone know of any of those? Hhehehehehehehe.) The "Ghost" of House Of Master Vyle, House Of Master Vyle Presents, and quite possibly in the future The Poe County Trailer Park Of Terror.