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Apocalyptic Optimism for the End of History

Carcinogenius

We handed this out around Churchill Downs after the Kentucky Derby. It looked so much like a religious pamphlet, some people refused to read it!!!

ATHENA SPRANG

FULLY-GROWN FROM

THE HEAD OF ZEUS…

…AND YOU’RE BUYINGASPIRIN?

Those headaches you’ve been having aren’t symptoms of fatigue, they’re labor pains. Your dreams and ideas have been boiling for years, just below the surface, and now your mind is ready to give birth. But they are watching. They know how your brain cells are blossoming towards transformation. And they’re scared. Eyes follow you from dark corners, hidden cameras track your movements. And what about that old man peering at you from behind his paper…?

For now, it’s okay; they’ve got you quarantined on a college campus, or wearing yourself out at some crappy job, or following the latest media scandal. But when your intelligence-tumor threatens to burst your skull and spill out into the environment, then watch it! The most dangerous cancer is that which is contagious. The most dangerous contagion leaps from head to head beyond their control.

When your neurons start to replicate themselves, in your head or in your actions, then you start to threaten their sterile dream of law and order. You threaten to become unpredictable. That’s when they put the red tag by your file: