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You might think that you're being welcomed because you are liked.
Well
You have been misinformed. You are not liked.
Well, maybe a little.
Especially if you made a cake. Did you?
Anyway *clears throat*

The reason you have been welcomed is because members of an evil group, known as The Welcoming Committee are trying to score as many new members as possible to win some obscure statistic. Confused? So are we.

Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the airlock right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Don't forget the big red button marked "EJECT".

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, feel free to ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can.

I'd like to inform you that the article you just wrote, Chris Muckey, was likely in violation of our vanity policies. I have since deleted it, and if it is recreated violating said policies again, you will receive a 36-hour block. Uncyclopedia deletes vanity articles because 99% of the time, they just aren't funny to us. I'm sure it could be the most hilarious thing to you and your buddies, but the rest of us are standing around scratching our heads in bewilderment. Also, writing libel about people you know is not tolerated here. An alternative you could pursue is placing your article as a subpage of your userpage, eg. User:Everything Evil/Chris Muckey. If you believe I'm mistaken, please leave me a note on my talk page and I'll double-check. Thanks. —Sir MajorHinoa[TALK][KUN] [19:21, 4 January 2007 (UTC)]

(PS. Please apply the following warning to the ex-article Eric Voltz as well. –H.19:21 UTC, 01.4.2007)

As you may or may not already know, you have been blocked from editing Uncyclopedia for 36 hours due to recreation of the article Eric Voltz in continued violation of Uncyclopedia vanity policy. Please take this time to be sure you are familiar with the policies and why we have them. If you feel you were blocked in error, you can attempt to contact me or any of the other administrators on the IRC channel #uncyclopedia on Freenode. —Sir MajorHinoa[TALK][KUN] [19:57, 4 January 2007 (UTC)]