You probably wouldn't have said that if you've read my previous posts about lawyers.
I've been a doc for 19 years.

Quote:

Originally Posted by magmd

Reality Bites............

I sense some bitterness....hmmm. Maybe some nurse broke your heart?

I admit I have liked nurses a lot more the further up the ladder I got. When I was a med student I hated them, cuz they treated me like shit. When I was a resident I tolerated them...as they tolerated me. Now as an attending I appreciate them.

'course in retrospect....drug reps are hotter. I have never seen an unattractive woman drug rep. EVER.

1. Servers make minimum wage, they support themselves off of your pathetic tips.

2. Do not go out to eat after 10, the servers and cooks have probably began to clean and don't want to do it again.

3. Special orders suck, if you are that picky or allergic to that much... eat in.

4. Servers are people too, don't talk to them as if they are second class citizens...they will spit in your food.

5. Don't shake empty glasses, snap your fingers, or whistle to get a server's attention... they will ignore you.

6. If the server asks "Do you need anything else?" only respond if you really really need something, and tell them everything at once, so there isn't a need to make 5 unnecassary trips.

7. Tip generously... whether or not you believe they deserve it. Your boss does not hold some of your pay because he doesn't think you deserve it all.

8. If your server does not seem happy...it's probably because you are crappy to wait on.

9. Do not go out to eat if you are miserable... no one wants to wait on a grouch and tip extra for being lousy.

10. Do not insult your server... she/he handles your food.

11. Do not leave a crappy tip and then say "this is all for you hunny."

12. Leaving change is frowned upon... especially when there are more coins than bills.

13. minimum wage?!? So, if you leave three dollars, and your server ran around, got you drinks, brought your food, refilled drinks, brought more napkins, clean silverware, ketchup, another side of bleu cheese... all for your crummy $3 tip, it's just not right.

14. If you have not seen your server in awhile... maybe you were being an awful table and they need to bitch about you in the back... next time you ought to be a better table.

15. Do not hit on your server... they do not like you... they just want your tip and it usually makes everyone all around feel awkward, and then they will go in the back and tell the other employees about it, who will in turn come out and stare at you.

16. A cup of coffe and a glass of water is a pain in the ass to get... so just don't order it.

17. If you see your server cleaning around you... it means you have been there too long and they want to go home... no one cleans for fun.

18. Do not bring small children out to eat... they are useless for tips... but if you have to, do not allow them to make a mess, leave your server $3 and expect them to clean up after your scuzzy kid.

19. Do not make lame jokes... no one thinks they are funny.

20. The bigger a tip you leave, the better chance of you being remembered... and then you will get better service and maybe even a smile.

21. Don't ever order hot tea under any circumstances. We don't care if you're sick. And if for some reason you do order it, that should extend the tip to at least 25%

22. No yourserver cannot take two coupons off of your check, no not even if you are getting separate checks.

23. It doesn't matter if all 15 of you are getting separate checks, you came in as a party and you are paying the gratuity.

24. If there is a hostess stand at the front door, do not assume it is a seat yourself restaurant.

25. If you want to drink alcohol, bring your ID with you. PERIOD. It is not the servers job to guess how old you are, it is their job to check your ID.

26. If you have some kind of coupon, discount, or your server comps something for you, you need to tip based on the amount as if you were paying for it. It is not fair when a man and his two bratty kids come in and get $80 worth of food, have a $75 gift certificate, and leave $1.25. That's just bullshit.

1. It is not my fault waiters got themselves into an underpaying job. If you do a crappy service you will receive a crappy tip, period. If you are not happy with that get another job. I sure as hell am not going to pay you what your boss should be paying because HE was a cheapass. If you say: "But every restaurant business is like this", then I will reply: "get into another business then!!"

2. It is not my fault everything closes down at 10 pm in the USA. In normal countries, on a Friday, restaurant OPEN at 10pm and don't close until sunday. Sorry, but that is the way it should be done.

3. If you can't do somethink as simple as "no lettuce" or something like that then NO TIP FOR YOU!!!

1. Servers make minimum wage, they support themselves off of your pathetic tips.

2. Do not go out to eat after 10, the servers and cooks have probably began to clean and don't want to do it again.

3. Special orders suck, if you are that picky or allergic to that much... eat in.

4. Servers are people too, don't talk to them as if they are second class citizens...they will spit in your food.

5. Don't shake empty glasses, snap your fingers, or whistle to get a server's attention... they will ignore you.

6. If the server asks "Do you need anything else?" only respond if you really really need something, and tell them everything at once, so there isn't a need to make 5 unnecassary trips.

7. Tip generously... whether or not you believe they deserve it. Your boss does not hold some of your pay because he doesn't think you deserve it all.

8. If your server does not seem happy...it's probably because you are crappy to wait on.

9. Do not go out to eat if you are miserable... no one wants to wait on a grouch and tip extra for being lousy.

10. Do not insult your server... she/he handles your food.

11. Do not leave a crappy tip and then say "this is all for you hunny."

12. Leaving change is frowned upon... especially when there are more coins than bills.

13. minimum wage?!? So, if you leave three dollars, and your server ran around, got you drinks, brought your food, refilled drinks, brought more napkins, clean silverware, ketchup, another side of bleu cheese... all for your crummy $3 tip, it's just not right.

14. If you have not seen your server in awhile... maybe you were being an awful table and they need to bitch about you in the back... next time you ought to be a better table.

15. Do not hit on your server... they do not like you... they just want your tip and it usually makes everyone all around feel awkward, and then they will go in the back and tell the other employees about it, who will in turn come out and stare at you.

16. A cup of coffe and a glass of water is a pain in the ass to get... so just don't order it.

17. If you see your server cleaning around you... it means you have been there too long and they want to go home... no one cleans for fun.

18. Do not bring small children out to eat... they are useless for tips... but if you have to, do not allow them to make a mess, leave your server $3 and expect them to clean up after your scuzzy kid.

19. Do not make lame jokes... no one thinks they are funny.

20. The bigger a tip you leave, the better chance of you being remembered... and then you will get better service and maybe even a smile.

21. Don't ever order hot tea under any circumstances. We don't care if you're sick. And if for some reason you do order it, that should extend the tip to at least 25%

22. No yourserver cannot take two coupons off of your check, no not even if you are getting separate checks.

23. It doesn't matter if all 15 of you are getting separate checks, you came in as a party and you are paying the gratuity.

24. If there is a hostess stand at the front door, do not assume it is a seat yourself restaurant.

25. If you want to drink alcohol, bring your ID with you. PERIOD. It is not the servers job to guess how old you are, it is their job to check your ID.

26. If you have some kind of coupon, discount, or your server comps something for you, you need to tip based on the amount as if you were paying for it. It is not fair when a man and his two bratty kids come in and get $80 worth of food, have a $75 gift certificate, and leave $1.25. That's just bullshit.

Wow. Just plain wow. Whoever wrote this is a freakin' idiot. If you dont like your job or how youre payed than get another job. Lets go down the list shall we:

1. Maybe if they didnt take 35 minutes to bring my ice tea they wouldnt get a crappy tip. When I can see them in the kitchen giggling and cackling to another waiter while I eat my spicy buffalo chicken fingers with no drink, they aint gettin' $hit for a tip.

2. I can see that. If its after 10 we'll go get fast food if we want to go out.

3. Special orders suck? So if Im allergic to lemons or shrimp or garlic that means I can never go out to eat? The cooks get paid to make food the way I want it. Im paying for it, dont put any g0d damn onions on my burger.

4. I would never talk to down to a waiter yet alone any one else. Thats a good rule.

5. You shouldnt have to shake an empty glass, if theyre doing their job it should always be filled.

6. Makes sense.

7. F that. F that to the bank mother F-er. Youre not getting a single penny if I see you once during my entire 90 minutes there. Why should you get paid to take my order than sit outside and smoke or hit on the new hostess girl. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF that.

8. Crappy to wait on? That doesnt make sense. The reason theyre unhappy is they suck at their jobs and wonder why noone tips them.

9. Ill go out whenever the hell I want.

10. True

11. I will if its crappy service. If you go to get your tires rotated and they put one of them in the trunk and roll another down the road are you gonna pay for the service?

12. Ill leave an old dirty gym sock full of nickels if I want to. You should be happy to get what you can if you suck at serving. You think all that change doesnt add up? You wont take $4.75 on every $30 tab? only $4.00?

13. You get a $3 tip if the service calls for it. If I get wonderful service Ill tip 20-30% or more. If Im taken care of, youll be taken care of. If Im not, youll be walking back to the kitchen saying "that a-hole let me 84 cents just because I checked on his table once in an hour and a half"

15. When I was younger Id hit on waitresses all the time and it usually turned out well. Sometime me and my friends would joke around with them just to make them smile, it lightned the mood if they were having a crummy day

16. Wow. Just wow. You cant get a glass of water for me? Its right next to the soda fountain. Maybe reaching into my wallet is a pain in the ass too

17. Than clean and go home. Someone else will cover your table.

18. Ill let my kid take a dump on the table if youre being a bitch. Dont spend it all in one place.

19. I wont. I promise. Did you hear the one about the kid born with no eyelids?

20. No. Its the other way around. The nicer you are the bigger tip youll get. You see, if I dont get treated right Ill never come back. If you dont get treated right youll still work there.

21. Only 90 year olds order hot tea, but if I do order it you bet your ass youre getting it for me.

22. Who the hell uses coupons at a restaurant?

23. Thats expected.

24. Duh

25. Duh

26. If my bill is $40 and I have $40 in coupons Ill leave a $10-15 tip IF IF IF IF IF IF IF the service was good. If it was okay service Ill leave $6-7. If it was the worst service Ive ever had youll get an empty gum wrapper and a picture of a middle finger on the back of the bill.