franzbrandstaetter.com

Oct 25, 2018

2 min read

The art of forgiving

Updated: Nov 5, 2018

Today I am writing about a topic that bothers me a lot. I am surrounded by people who really fight with their friends or even family. Something happened that usually is long forgotten, but they still can't make peace and forgive each other. The result of all this is a poisoned mood when these people meet, or someone talks about them while the others are present. It bothers me because I really want to help, involve myself or just step up and say something about this stupid situation, but every time I do so, it makes things worse.

Now there is one thing, that I want to say to all these people: every fight, every problem you have with someone else is a problem you have with yourself. You are fighting yourself. It is not about the others, guys, it's about you. Therefore, forgiveness is about you as well. Don't wait until someone makes the first step, because you can do it yourself. Solve your problem and forget about the fight, be friends with the people around you. You only have a certain amount of time on this planet, don't waste it fighting.

There is a saying that really brings this to the point:

‘Not forgiving, is like taking poison and expecting the others to die‘

This sentence has so much truth in it, that I want to shout it out aloud to all these fighting people. You know, the flip side of this sentence means, you are going to die, poisoned by yourself. So if you are having troubles with someone, go ahead and think about yourself. What is it, that bothers me so much, that I do not want to talk to my brother or sister anymore. Remember, the only thing in the world you can really change, is yourself and what is controlled inside you. Everything outside of your brain and body can't be change by yourself, as it is not in your control.

I know a lot of people are saying, well, I can live with a fight. I don't need my relatives to be my friends. I don't need other people to like me. Well, if this is what you think, you will ultimately die alone. In the best case, you will regret that you have wasted your life, miserable and alone, abandoned from all your friends and family. Most people though won't realise what they have missed out. They don't know how to live a good life. A life in harmony with their inner self and their environment. They don't know how to be happy and satisfied with what they have and enjoy every moment instead of chasing something new. In the worst case they will just die, unseen and unnoticed by anybody else.

Make your life easier, think about what is in your control, make peace with all your inner conflicts and your fights will vanish, and you can finally start to live a good and happy life.