The Bachelor: It’s Really, Really Real Now

The Bachelor, Week Four: In every Bachelor season (god knows I’ve seen a few), there comes a week when it occurs to the participants that oh, gosh, this is really real. They never expected to feel this way so fast, you see. It’s just really real now.

Well, this week was the really real week for the ladies of our latest installment. Cue sighing and crying and soul searching. But before that, get to the set of General Hospital stat! Really, ABC, you stoop so low sometimes. Last year, Matt and Shayne had to do time at a screening of Made of Honor, for God’s sake (an ABC/Disney movie starring ABC star Patrick Dempsey. This, my friends, is synergy).

Anyway! I just have a one real observation/thoughtful comment this week. So many of the ladies, a disturbing number, seem to use Jason as the repository for all their vague hopes and longings. I saw this especially with dear Nikki. After 11 years in a relationship, and 12 short months out of it, Nikki is so very tired of being all alone. She wants to be a “we.” She wants to be a mom, like yesterday. Oh there’s Jason! He could fill out the “we.” And he already has a kid. Perfect!

I would argue, from what we saw of Nikki, that she has no idea who she is outside of her last (and only) relationship. It seems like she’s looking for a relationship to define her, like she stopped getting to know herself at age 17 and doesn’t know how to start over. It was troubling how quickly she blamed herself for not being smart or pretty enough or “perfect” or what have you when Jason dumped her following their Waltz of Doom.

Same with the dental hygienist: “I want someone to come home to. I want to be a wife. I want to be a mom.” Right, but what makes this guy THE guy? What makes you believe he’s the man for you? So many of the women talk about why they’re right for Jason. But why is he right for them?

It’s disheartening, is all I’m saying. I want to shake these ladies through the screen of my laptop. I would like to tell them to chill out. Odds are, you will all get married one day. Most people do it, at least once. Until then, enjoy some quality time with yourself. Read a book. See Man on Wire(it’s freakin’ amazing). Volunteer. Get a pet. (Do not “french kiss” said pet–please!)

Put aside this single-minded (heh) obsession with becoming a Mrs. You’ll be happier for it. And no, I’m not a Smug Married. I’m a 31-year-old single, jobless woman who recently noticed a thin, hard line forming on the left side of her mouth. But at least take my advice about “Man on Wire.” It really is fantastic.

One more thing: What is UPwith those creepy little-girl silhouettes that adorn all of the women’s headboards and keep popping up on their caps and shirts?! Yuck.

Oh and:Stephanie is great and all, but she dresses like a 15-year-old. Which makes her look a lot older, methinks.