Absent For A Bit ....

I am away for a little while working on a few or more episodes for The Adventures of My Space Alien Alter Ego story ... will return (to Earth) soon!

Notice: Blogger has screwed up and lost a bunch of photos out of my blog! They are replaced with a gray silhouette of a human head. I will eventually get them replaced with the correct photo, it may take a while to find and fix everything. So some of my stories don't make much sense without their photos, sorry for the inconvenience.

2018-06-22

Toby is my neighbor’s cow dog that is forced to live in the backyard on a cable all the time.

I feel sorry for Toby and give him a dog biscuit when I walk by him on my way down the alley when I take out the trash. Toby likes me.

Yesterday at 3:20 PM while I was in my living room just across the alley from Toby, I heard a hellacious dog fight, at least I figured that must be what was going on outside.

I grabbed the closest thing by me that looked like a weapon, my trusty remote pincer claw, manual ‘robot arm’, and ran out the front door.

What I saw was a Gang of Four dogs, at least two of them large male pit bulls, fighting Toby THROUGH a hole in the fence.

I immediately started running and yelling at the dogs but they didn’t seem to notice me until I was right on top of them swinging the robot arm. In the less than two seconds it took for me to get to them they had yanked Toby by the neck completely through the hole in the fence but the cable prevented them from pulling him any farther.

I inherited my father’s ability to get really loud, really ferocious, really fast when the situation dictates. The Gang of Four didn’t hang around any time at all but headed west running down the alley.

I called the police and they contacted animal control. Toby sat up shaking and quivering while barking at me lightly in a confused manner. I started yelling for the owner to come outside, not wanting to leave Toby alone. No one seemed to hear me. The owner’s wife finally appeared inside the backyard in a couple minutes and Toby shot back through the hole in the fence momentarily tangling himself up with the cable. She took him inside and then on to the vet.

I put my dogs into our backyard and decided to try to stay up with the Gang of Four in order to guide animal control to them. I caught up with them in my car about a block away and when they left that front lawn and headed back to the alley I headed on west to see if they were going on that way.

Sure enough, they all came towards the west end of the alley and suddenly a couple Husky dogs inside their fence started barking at them. One of the mean ass pit bull males was surveying the situation quietly and one of the Huskies appeared to be fixing to come over the fence! I yelled at the dogs and the gang decided to head back east.

About 15 seconds later the owner of the huskies appeared in just a pair of black shorts. I told him briefly what had happened and he asked me, “Do you want me to shoot ‘em?” I told him no, that animal control and the police were coming. He repeated, “I’d be glad to shoot ‘em for ya’.”

About a minute later animal control pulled right up behind me and stopped, as I had let the police know where the dogs had moved to.

I told the animal control officer where they had headed and he took off after them.

I never saw any police.

I checked on Toby about an hour later and the vet found and cleaned up wounds on his face and neck. She thanked me for helping her dog.

I had called my wife to let her know about the situation. When she came home about three hours later she thought she saw two of the dogs about 3 blocks west of our house near the hair salon on Union Street.

So I spent about another hour driving around asking several people, who were out and about, if they had seen these dogs, but no one had seen them.

Today I called animal control and discovered that they had captured NONE of the dogs. They told me the dogs had headed down into the canyons, which are outside the city limits.

I thought to myself, if they had attacked a child, they would have been shot, ... right?

2018-04-25

I am in bed, almost asleep, when I get a text message from my wife in the living room at 9:30 PM.

Text message: "The front door is open. I'm scarred"

Of course I instantly know she means 'scared' but I pretend I don't understand.

I respond in a smart alec manner:

"You have scars?"

So I get out of bed and go into the living room. She says the front door is open. I am groggily thinking, does she mean the outside glass or inside wooden door(?). Then I turn around to see that it is most likely both, that the wind blew the wooden door open an inch or so.

Then I am fully awake, and say, "Hold it, you were the last person who came through the door and you are sitting right here a few feet from the doors and you had me come all the way from the bedroom (in my pajamas) to close doors you didn't make sure were closed (an hour ago)?!?!?"

I think by this point she realized the ridiculousness of her request and she put this fake scared little kid face & voice on and said, "I was scared." Yes, it was fake, there was a suppressed smile, too.

I am inappropriately dressed but I still, without fear or revealing myself, close both doors.

2018-04-12

It has been a wonderful year since my little friend Hopper mysteriously found his way into my backyard, and moved on into my heart. He is an almost constant companion. When he is not with me, I am invariably thinking about him.

2018-04-10

On April Fools Day I take my father-in-law on a short trip across town. Given enough time he will ask me some ridiculous question. The question that day was, "Do they sell any cars at that place (pointing to the GM dealership)? I never see them selling anything."

I think for a half second and reply, "No, they never sell any vehicles there. They are only allowed to display them, and people buy them online." - to which he replied, "Oh"

I waited about three seconds and told him, "Aprils Fools!!! I was just teasing", to which he cracked up laughing, and added, "and I'm not even wearing green!" which totally cracked me up laughing, and I said, "No, Homer, green is for Saint Patrick's Day." and we both laughed for another minute or so.

We get to his house in Stinnett, and right as I pull up to stop there is a darn goat on the other side of the fence staring directly at us. I tell Homer, "Look at that chicken."

"What chicken?!?!?", he says, knowing he has no chickens. I say, "right there!"

He leans forward, and says, "There ain't no chicken there - laughs - that's a goat!"

"No, it's a chicken, look, there's an egg right there on the ground!" - which causes him to lean farther forward in his seat. "There ain't no chicken there!" and he gets out, "What time are you picking me up tomorrow?" and I remind him that I don't remember and that my wife will call him. He gets out of the vehicle, and just as I suspected he doesn't go directly into the house as usual but heads toward the goat-not chicken-no egg zone.

There was an interesting headline announcing that Tammy Duckworth was the first sitting US senator to give birth while in office. My question is: wouldn’t it have been easier giving birth laying down in a hospital?

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I think I have spent at least half my life being around Corelle brand Vitrelle dishes almost everyday and thought they were opaque. So I am scrubbing a small bowl of some dried food in a fairly dark kitchen and I notice something dark not coming off the bowl. And I suddenly wonder, "What was in that tuna fish salad?!?!?". I continue turning the bowl in my left hand with my right between scrubbing, and then I realized the dark area was simply my finger underneath the bowl blocking the faint reflected light from behind me, and the dish is translucent. I am usually more observant than that, at least that is what I tell myself.

2018-03-21

I suddenly remembered a few minutes ago that I have only been to Austin once, that I can remember, when I was 17 years old. I remember that it taught me something about myself that I had just taken for granted. I had spent my whole life always knowing what direction I was going, NoEaSoWe, and that I could navigate by the sun and time and shadows and landmarks, and regularly spaced rural county roads.

BUT metropolitan Austin was radically different. My high school science teacher was driving, the roads and streets were curvy, there were trees everywhere and it was overcast the entire time. I absolutely hated the feeling of constant discombobulation, my lack of knowing north.

There are many wonderful things and people in Austin, and obviously at least one person, no, bombing monster, who doesn't deserve to live there, or anywhere else, in the fine state of Texas.

2017-08-16

I thought about how much of my entire life I have spent studying, visiting, worrying about, & basically contemplating 'public statues' ..hmm.. ... trying to figure the amount of time in hours. I think the answer is closer to zero than ten. If you include Mt Rushmore and Crazy Horse, then, yes, more than ten, but that kinda goes with the territory when you are raised in the Pahá Sápa of the Dakota Territory.

It would be an interesting study to know if the average urban pigeon spends more time sitting on statues than their neighbor humans do visiting them.

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Obama's tweet in response to Charlottesville is officially the most liked tweet ever. I bet Trump personally called to congratulate him.

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I have learned how to properly dispose of the dark chocolate that comes in the bag of mixed Hershey's Miniatures. I cut the dark chocolate pieces in half, then eat a dark half with a regular 'good' milk chocolate or a Krackel, in a 1:2 ratio, evil:good

I used to be someone's Krackel dealer, but she is gone, and that is one of the saddest events of my life (where someone didn't die).

I suddenly realized just now that I started blogging 10 years ago just after she mysteriously disappeared and cancelled our friendship without bothering to tell me. I have absolutely no idea why she left. She moved from Borger to Amarillo and was busy with her third pregnancy. I thought she was getting close to being my best friend, then, -poof- she was gone. I was clueless for several years. I even wrote her several letters, getting no replies, giving her updates on our family. I would see her mother-in-law occasionly, who would give me vague replies, like, 'she sure is busy with her kids' and I would ask her to tell my 'friend' hi for me.

I did phone her once about three years ago to let her know about a wonderful new future event (addition) in our family. She only demanded harshly, 'How did I get her phone number?!?!?' - I told her it was public information from the white pages. She demanded that I never call her again and hung up!!!

Imagine my shock. I have absolutely no idea what I have done to this person to receive such treatment. I have discussed this with my wife a few times, but I don't think I have told very many people until now.

On a road trip to Houston one time shortly after that phone call, I saw someone walking by who looked remarkably close to her as I was getting something to eat out of my cooler in the back of our SUV at a gas station. I told myself, 'You just need to stop thinking about her, she doesn't want you in her life.' I didn't realize that I had actually said this out loud, because my wife up front in the drivers seat said, 'Why did you say that?' - not knowing who I was talking about. I told my wife who I was talking about but not the event, the woman walking by, that had caused it. Then my wife said, 'Oh, I saw that woman walk by who looked like T_____.'

2017-08-15

Today Scary Moochie officially doesn't start his now not-so-new extinct ex-job. The non-excitement and half vast relief have built up to a quiet squashed & crushed undone crescendo.

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Today's Silly Riddle:

What do you call a childless Italian deer?

A no bambino Bambi

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I am guessing that if Donald used a four syllable word like 'egregious', he must have had a speechwriter create that text.

It appears to be a 3 or 4 syllable word, which means in Texas that could vary from 2 to 5 syllables. I am thinking of trying to say it with a distinct 'greg' syllable.

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Charlottesville: White is a very exact technical physical expression of light and paint as the color of absence, at one end of a range opposite of black, but artistically there are nuances of expression with names like 'off white', 'eggshell', and 'ivory' for not-quite-white. I am thinking there should also be a 'too white'.

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Despacito - I just recently heard this song and saw the video. Wow, with it reaching 3 billion views on YouTube I am thinking I must be close to one of the last people in the Western Hemisphere to have heard.

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After a drought of several weeks it won't hardly quit raining here. I am thinking this might be our coldest August in quite sometime.

2017-07-31

So, if Putin kicks hundreds of US diplomats out of his country, does this mean more opportunities for out-of-work spies? Where do I sign up?!?!? Oh, wait, the last time I tried to get a job at the CIA and NSA, I ran into age limitations on new hires ...

I bet I would make a lousy spy, plus my Russian language skills aren't overly impressive, but at least I can do a fair job of sounding out the Russian alphabet, so I can read maps and signs, plus know a few phrases. Food? I am not sure about food and I have to dilute vodka with something.

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I have mastered the art of opening a pistachio with just the fingers and thumb of one hand. This is quite useful during phone calls. I can even do it with my eyes closed. There are still about 5 percent of the inner goodies that fly out and land on the floor.

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Wow, I have lived in Borger almost 40 years and didn't know that T. Boone Pickens lived just to the northeast of us.

I guess it never came up in conversation.

His place, Mesa Vista Ranch, is north of Pampa on the Canadian River west of Highway 70. His house is rather easy to find in Google Earth, its about a half acre in size. His private airport is farther west, still on the south side of the Canadian River. We share a common history, with Phillips Petroleum Company being our first employer out of college.

2017-07-24

Hopper survived his second visit to the vet last week, but I am not sure that I did.

He got a different person this time, and I am not sure she was human. I didn't know we were getting her that day, and when she walked in and introduced herself, my heart sank. I took my previous dog Madeline to her a long time ago. She was in a different city to the south at that time and after that experience I knew I never wanted to see her again. So I guess we'll be going back to the vet in Spearman even though its 40 miles away to the north. They know how to treat customers properly.

Hopper has grown from 19 lb to 36 lb in the last two months.

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Here is the one funny thing that happened at the vet.

I was discussing the feeding routine of my dogs, and one of the ingredients is 'boiled chicken'. When I said those two words the veterinarian's head jerked back in disbelief, her mouth flew open with a slight gasp, and I thought her eyes were going to pop out of her skull.

This reaction made me pause, and she exclaimed, "Why would you feed them that?!?!?" ... which, of course, confused me, and I repeated quizzically, "boiled chicken?!?!?".

She then cracked up laughing, and replied, "Oh, I thought you said, 'spoiled chicken'" - which amused me, thinking, 'Why would anyone EVER do that, purposely spoil chicken to feed to a dog?!?!? Does this really happen somewhere, anywhere?'

2017-07-22

Jeff Sessions is trying to kill me but he doesn't really know about it.

I wake up at 3 something AM to find out about the intercepted Russian intelligence communications about Jeff Sessions. I watch a news video of four people discussing this situation and how complicated and convoluted, what may and may not be real, and who and what leaks are happening.

Then, before I can get coffee in me, my little brain writes the title for a new, slightly modified, childrens' story, "The Wolf Who Cried 'Little Boy'". Oh, my goodness, I start laughing so hard my head feels like it is going to explode, and my throat really hasn't recovered yet from yesterday, so I am having trouble breathing as well. Luckily there are no dogs around to comfort me as I had let them outside a few minutes before, as I am in the warmest room of the house yet still freezing.

I get the arctic blast machine tamed, coffee made, and share a peanut butter sandwich with the dogs. Disaster averted.

The littlest dog fell asleep in the arm chair a few feet away while staring at me and now he is barking high pitched very lightly while he has a dream of chasing something. The creaking noise of my rotating kitchen chair causes his eyes to open but nothing else moves. I tell him that I love him, and he blinks approvingly, then curls up in a ball out of sight in the chair.

So, at 7:15 this morning I stop at the intersection of 3rd Street and Hedgecoke at a red light while headed west. Suddenly I wake up because the car behind me is honking - I fell asleep while waiting on the traffic light to change!

ONLY ... that didn't happen in real life. It happened in my dream. I fell asleep and woke up in my dream! But then the car horn in my dream causes me to wake up in real life, and I look down to see that it is 7:20 and I should have left for work 20 minutes ago.

So, I stand up really fast from my chair in the livingroom of my house, and the car alarm on my wife's vehicle directly on the other side of the wall goes off, and I realize I was the last person to drive yesterday and that my motion set it off, so the key fob must be in my left pocket below my camera in its case. But I have some difficulty getting the key fob out of my pocket and finally take the camera out first, before getting the car to be quiet.

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ONE PERCENT chance of rain?!?!?!?

...now you are just messin' with my head, Weather Channel. Now I need to wake up at 3 AM to see if it happens.

2017-07-06

He is gone to Europe, quick, somebody lock the door so he can't get back in!

I Am The Biggest Ambiguitor said: "I think it was Russia, but I think it was probably other people and, or countries, and I see nothing wrong with that statement. Nobody really knows. Nobody really knows for sure," Trump said in his first press conference overseas as president.

He is wrong, there are know-bodies.

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Using the bottom half of a plastic gallon milk jug, I have been making approximately 1/3 gallon sized blocks of ice every day or more for the dogs water bucket outside.

After trimming my pineapple crop yesterday I noticed while walking back to the house that the chunk of ice was gone! Pepper had stole it for himself, with it laying a few feet away in the grass. So I put it back in the water bucket and 'scolded' him. It was a bit smaller than the original block, of course, but it was still a much large weight and size than I would have imagined him carrying in his mouth.

When I came back outside after telling Tamie about it, he had stole it again, only this time moving it farther away and in a slight doggie depression in the dirt.

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My suggestion to Donald Trump for dealing with North Korea is to build a wall ... and then demand that Mexico pay for it.

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At this very moment North Korea most likely has no ICBM's - no fully functional ones, anyway - it had one and fired it to celebrate the 4th of July.

Now, if we can just figure out how to put a bug in their software/firmware so that once a rocket is launched it turns around in mid flight and heads back to Pyongonegone, we will have something interesting.

At that point we could rename their rocket 'Boom-erang', emphasis on the boom.

2017-06-19

I saw that my second cousin who lives 80 miles away had quail and pheasants, day old birds, for sale. They raise game birds for commercial hunting facilities.

I sent her a note in FB, asking, "How many pheasants would it take for a large batch of soup?"

Her reply, "Funny........cuz.... you need the grown birds not the chicks."

My response: "I was just guessing, thinking if I had one gallon of soup, and each pheasant ate 1 fl oz of soup, then I could throw a dinner party for 128 baby pheasants. My neXt question is what do baby pheasants like to have for dessert - ice cream? Pie? Cake?"

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I could see Trump building a solar wall on the Mexican-USA border, and then the Mexican government responding by planting shade trees to render it useless.

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If you reaLLy want a measure of just how slow the federal government is, consider that the Supreme Court is finally going to hear a case regarding the nefarious practice of gerrymandering, and it was a word invented in March 1812. So, it only took 205 years and 3 months, thats all.

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My first batch of mead production is underway. It started on June 12. I have been chartng the yeast activity by measuring the burps in the airlock. It appears that two weeks might be a good time to make a transfer from primary fermentation to secondary, then recharge the primary.

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Hopper (right) at Day 68 with his best dog buddy Pepper. Hopper is much smaller than Pepper, the camera position distorts their size.

2017-06-11

I am in the process of making a German chocolate cake for a charity event when I remember that I haven't got around to making my own birthday cake yet this year. I think I have made about six cakes in 2017 so far, so this should be my highest year to date.

My new toys for the kitchen are springform pans for making beautifully round layered cakes. I got two set of 8, 9, and 10 inch pans.

My next thought was, "Did I get any birthday presents from anyone?" Then I remembered that the owner of the local diner bought my cup of coffee as a distinct birthday gift. Just the coffee, not the cup.

I bought myself some things for a new venture in alcohol. I am going to make mead. Have yeast, will make bubbles.

I did figure out that one of my dearest friends from childhood has her birthday only a few days from mine, so I now know someone almost the exact same age as me.

On my birthday I am sitting with my wife outside a hospital waiting on a relative to show up so we can give them instructions for their medical testing, then we are leaving town in order to go to Red Lobster. While waiting I see a memorial bench nearby made from stone that has a person's name, and then their date of birth and death. I do the math and realize that this person, who died a few years ago, lived exactly one day less than what I am on my birthday right that moment.

I did get a really cool birthday card from my mother. It has two people laying on the floor yet holding a mug of beer straight up in the air. My mother wrote my name by the feet of one of the horizontal humans and my cousin L's name by the other one. The low angle above the floor for the perspective at which the art work in drawn makes it so you can't completely see the heads of the people, BUT on the third time I read the card I noticed that one of the human figures was male and the other female based on the pair of triangular shapes for breasts! Now, understand that the two human figures are clothed wearing the same type clothing, so my mother didn't realize she was writing my male cousin's name by the feet of the female in the picture. My cousin and I laughed about this together. Now I don't remember if I told my mother about this. I will call her right now. No answer. Cell phone service is extremely lousy where she lives in a rural setting.

My mother, a non-beer person, felt the need to include the "to certain people". I must be a certain.

Update: Someone paid (in a bidding war) $31 for my cake that cost me around $5 in supplies. But my best friend Susie brought TWO pies to the same event, and wound up having her first pie go for $40. The funny part is that Susie bought BOTH of her pies back!!!

2017-05-01

I would do some housework, but there is something small and warm and brown and white and furry fast asleep on my leg.

Snoring...

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So, if you had a second cousin sixty times removed, you would only be minutely related?

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Turkey is afraid of Wikipedia?!?!?!? My, what silliness.

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Dogmestic Tranquility: All three dogs piece-fully working on their own chew bone si-maul-taneously

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Is there anyone else who thought it was a huge security risk to put all the US Senate on a few busses?

This proves that Bernie, the non-attendee, is the smartest one of them.

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His socks were all white when he first came here.

He has been enjoying getting to go to work with me, seeing everyone there. He got in and out of my car with just a little help from me today, went fairly much straight into his crate. We take breaks by the loading dock on the west side, where there is some grass.

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I shaved my beard off. It weighed 1.9 grams.

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I just recently brewed my 7th batch of beer. The type is American Cream Ale. I think that is the fifth time out of the seven that I have brewed that particular type, and have always used Brewer's Best brand of brew kits. I do have a 'Northy 12' to get started soon from Northern Brewers. It is a Belgian Quad.

2017-02-19

Having Donald Trump go back out on the campaign trail after a month into the presidency is like hiring someone to do a job, but then they keep wanting to redo the same exact job interview on a regular basis. Except now they want to talk about their new foxy Swedish girlfriend who is really just a fantasy.

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I think if Donald likes Florida so much, we should encourage him to stay there permanently, in his assisted believing facility.

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The President 'Meats' The Press

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A day without immigrants was an okay idea, but I would rather try A Day Without Donald. If that is a yuuuge success, then maybe we should try for a week, then a month, then a year, ...

One of the constitutional requirements for being president is to be at least 35 years old. I think it was put in place so that the president would be someone with hopefully some maturity. If Trump continues to act like he is 4 years old, then he should have to wait another 31 years to be president.

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Here is a partial list of new names Putin has for the US

Urinenighted Stains of Amerika

Amerikistan

Trumpmenistan (named in honor of fallen comrade Flynnski)

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Flynn is fleeing his job

Californians are fleeing their dam problem

Missiles are fleeing North Korea

Where should I flee ?!?!?

My new word: Ref-flee-gee

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Ending on something non-Trumpical

In the middle of the night I think I hear my wife say, "Our county is now purple, it was brown."

Nothing else.

I lay there for a while wondering if I misunderstood her, thinking, I'm pretty sure she is awake, not talking in her sleep.

After trying to think of alternate words I finally give up and ask her what she meant.

She was talking about the weather map on TV which has a picture but muted.

2016-12-06

Ican't imagine the United States government getting upset if China's leader called the governor of the state of California, so communist China shouldn't be so upset if Trump, who isn't even a real president yet, has a phone call to the 'wrong' China by talking to the leader of Taiwan. There is a strong possibility that Trump didn't know which China he was talking to on the phone, and there is an even higher probability that he didn't care if he was talking to the 'wr0Ng' China.

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Here is my veRy first Dutch language joke:

The Dutch word for 'tail' is 'staart'. But the tail on my dog is at the end, so I would have chose the spelling 'eend'.

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Isaw a news article where someone tried to blame part of Cuba's economic problems on the US embargo, but then I thought, didn't Cuba have the entire rest of the planet to try to conduct foreign trade?

-----So Donald Trump and Al Gore have a meeting to find common ground.

They both have 'al' in their first name and 'r' in the last. Oh, and one of them 'used' to be a Democrat.

2016-12-02

I sUddenLY discovered that the kind folks who invented the lid for my disposable coffee cup added a recessed region for my nose to make it easier to drink my morning resurrection concoction. Get the noser closer to the action.

Actually I am sitting outside with my sick dog hoping we get to go inside soon. Its not too bad, I am actually wearing pants instead of the usual cargo shorts, and have this large towel over my head, tenting it. If I leave the sick dog outside by himself he starts getting barky-barky. The non-sick dog is curled up under my bench, wanting attention from my feet in the form of massage. Very little of me is actually cold.

I am probably the only person outside at 6 AM studying Dutch in my tiny town of 13k in the dark. The people who made this particular group of lessons added several silly parts. I am using an app called duoLingo which I absolutely love. I used it for French (YES!!! I actually enjoyed studying French for the first time in my entire life.) As my younger son says from time to time, "Oh, the Dutch".

Strange Dutch Examples:

The birds read the newspaper.

We are not mice.

The boy is wearing a dress.

You are sour, just like a lemon.

and my favorite: Excuse me, I am an apple

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YEA!!! My friend is coming home from prison veRy veRy soon!!! I am going to cook her a buncha stuff and I have been saving beer from every batch for her. I plan to spoil her even more than I did before her incarceration.

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NEW BEER: I am going to try brewing a new type of beer from Northern Brewer Homebrew Supplies called Northy 12 Belgian Quad.

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So the panda bear at the National Zoo had to have surgery to remove a half-eaten piece of bamboo. Here is my headline:

2016-09-15

I came up with an animated movie idea: Deplorable Me based on Despicable Me, where the character Gru is replaced, somewhat, by Donald Trump, and the minions are a wide assortment of his rabid fan base, who actually adore being called Deplorables.

2016-07-12

I think they should go ahead and let Trump build his wall with his own money, but have to do it only 1 inch vertically at a time, complete 40 foot width and Pacific Ocean to Gulf of Mexico length. That way when it gets to be about 5 inches thick, we can stop the project, and rename it "Interstate Zero", a troll road.

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I am of the opinion that Supreme Court Justices should be allowed to speak their minds about Presidential candidates. Why should 300 plus million US citizens get to express their opinions and yet the nine members of the top bench should not?

Donald Trump is again at his nastiest calling for Ginsberg's apology and hoping she gets off the court soon.

If it is wrong for the judiciary to express their opinions of Trump, then it should be just as wrong for members of Congress.

I, for one, welcome the words of wisdom from legal scholars. I don't think enough politicians are saying strong enough words against The Monster that is Donald Trump.

I am not so sure that Trump understands there are three equally important branches to our Federal Government.

2016-07-03

I have figured out how I am going to die. It will be by heart attack because someone, most likely my wife, frightened me.

I spend a great deal of time alone, either at home or at work. When I am at home my dogs are almost always with me, but I am away from other humans. So my dogs never seem to startle me drastically, even if they come to wake me up.

But at work I am usually the only person working in the southern half of the building where our printing business is located, and I don't hear people walking (carpet) and they are suddenly right behind me in my office and start talking to me. This scares me terribly. I need to install motion detectors.

Sometimes it is remarkably silly. I am sitting in the dining room in the early morning and the younger dog is headed to the bedroom area. I know he is going to wake up my wife, most likely. I have thought that all through. But when she appears a few minutes later, I am still drastically startled.

I guess I need to live on a desserted island. I didn't spell it 'deserted', as I would like to live on an island that has a Cheesecake Factory. I had dinner in Wyoming a few weeks ago, and it was a marvelous steak dinner followed by cheesecake. They had a huge variety of cheesecake that are brought in from Denver.

It appears I will finally get to go to a Cheesecake Factory in Oklahoma City soon. It will be on the way to Missouri. When several people were talking about things to do on our vacation in Branson, while we were at my wife's cosmetology section of the building, they were mentioning all these faith oriented tourist attractions. I cracked everyone up laughing when I asked, "Do they have attractions for us atheists?". I am not eXactly sure how you would make an atheist themepark. No one asked me if I was serious about being an atheist, which I found surprising, not that I ever have conversations about what I believe with anyone. I like to remain a mystery.

2016-06-04

This pineapple plant showed up at the diner, a present to Sandy from Frankie. Sometime in the future I will try to conduct a pineapple plant census of Borger Texas to determine our per capita pineapple plant ratio.

I have a new neighbor who would like to move in, but I don't think my wife would approve. Both dogs have left this frog/toad alone now for at least three days, and he is right here at my back door every evening.

You can just barely see a part of Pepper in this picture.

Update: The next evening he was back again, and the dogs didn't mess with him, eXcept for maybe an occasional sniff while in transit to the great outdoors. Because there is a light on just inside during most hours of the night, there are alot of bugs attracted to the area, so the frog/toad is most likely well fed. See, electricity can help feed frog/toads!!!

Here is a better picture of Pepper laying on the floor holding me. His mantra is, "I told you, I must hold you"

2016-05-28

Some people are into time management, wild life management or managing their 401K stock market portfolio.

I am forced into Dog Biscuit Management.

When Santa Claus first got the younger dog Pepper for me in December he ate everything at a voracious pace, most likely after living a life of extreme scarcity. But after living here 5 months he has figured out that he has hit the doggie sweepstakes, and suddenly has become very nonchalant about eating things.

This suddenly blew up veRy early last Sunday morning after giving both dogs their dog biscuits while I was trying to make coffee. There was a veRy loud furry fury from the living room from The Big Dog, Cooper, as he most likely had finished his three items and was moving on to Pepper's uneaten items. But I am the alpha leader of the pack and shut them down pretty fast.

So I have to be careful every time I give them treats. I am trying a new technique today of putting Pepper's treats on the kitchen floor on the south side, where Cooper rarely goes, and giving Cooper's to him in the living room. But Pepper still carries his treats into the living room.

2016-05-20

On any given night there is a strong chance I will be woke by a stray dog in the neighborhood. I sleep with my window open.

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It has decided to be Spring finally and it can't decide when to stop raining, so it has made it difficult to mow, and it is too cold too often. But at least it isn't snowing here like it has been in South Dakota.

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I had a bizarre thing happen at the diner. I sat down at the community table in the chair nearest the kitchen so I could chat with Sandy the owner and have a beverage. It was last Saturday evening late and my wife had already fed me a huge supper at home.

After maybe an hour I was momentarily alone as Sandy had wandered off to perform some task and I was reading some news, when suddenly from the kitchen through the vertically narrow window for food delivery the owner's grandson, the chef, asks me if I would like a sandwich.

Bear in mind it is not uncommon for me to both give and receive food as a gift at the diner, my home away from home. I am always sharing new recipes, home made brew and stew, a birthday cake or two, to name but a few. So I ask what kind of sandwich, and Gabe tells me it is an egg and bacon sandwich, but just as he was fixing to hand it to me declared, "Oh, I forgot the cheese!" and he sets it back down and jokes about how masterfully he cuts a piece of cheese with surgical skill, we laugh, and I ask for a side order of mustard, which he puts a spoonful and a half into a small glass container. I remembered that I had promised to get him some cake soon, but I haven't baked in quite a while.

So I thank him and simply turn to sit back down at my spot, and I get to about the middle of the second bite of sandwich even though it has LETTUCE on this sandwich, which I thought was bizarre.

I am taken aback, and I said, "What?!?!? Gabe offered me a sandwich, so I just ate it! He asked me, 'Ernie, would you like a sandwich?'" Somehow Gabe thought it was my order, and what he probably said was, "Are you ready for your sandwich?" not wanting for me to have to wait for the waitress to get back to deliver it just 6 feet and get cold.

The waitress had seen me from across the room get the food from the window and had not heard any of my interaction with Gabe, so she had talked to Sandy before confronting me. So then everyone cracked up laughing and started teasing me about stealing food. Of course, I returned the favor.

The customer named Hawk was sitting in the closest booth to the south of me and he enjoyed the episode too. As the second sandwich arrived in the delivery window the waitress exclaimed, "Ernie, don't steal that second sandwich!!" and laughed, to which I waited until she delivered it to Hawk to say across the room, "Be sure to charge him for 2 sandwiches!!!" which cracked up everyone to laughing again. There were a few more lines that I have forgot by now.

About 5 minutes later Sandy decides to join me back at the community table with a plate of food, and I promised not to eat any of it. She laughed, and left to go back to the kitchen, AND what appears next?!?!?!? Sandy brings me out an unrequested bowl heaping with strawberry and chocolate ice cream!!!

She lets me know that the ice cream is actually a gift to her from another regular diner patron named Frankie. I tell her that I rarely receive things from Frankie, that my wife is usually the recipient of his gifts, as he always brings her things from the grocery store, as my wife cuts his hair. BUT that day I had actually received TWO things from Frankie indirectly, the ice cream being the second. But I told Sandy there was absolutely NO way she would ever be able to guess what Frankie had given me to give to my wife earlier that day. He had me follow him out to his truck at our place of business in order to give me an old dirty plastic bucket!!! He had given my wife one a couple months ago so that our dogs could have a larger water bowl at the house. And now they were getting another bucket for outside water.

So Sandy sits down to eat her supper and tells me that my event of eating the sandwich tonight reminded her of an old customer named Denver, now deceased, who used to come into the diner and would stand at the north end of the bar - Sandy turning left to point at the spot just across the aisle - and he would always drink these short bottles of beer (I forget the brand). She said that one night she caught Denver walking out the front door with an expensive compound plate and insulation pan underneath it piled high with hot Mexican food that he had taken right out of the food delivery window when no one was noticing! She hollered at him, "Denver! Get back here with my expensive plate and I'll put that food in a to-go container for ya!" So that explained why there had been several sporadic episodes where the waiter and the chef had gotten into arguments about missing plates of food, where Denver had absconded with meals. He would just wait for something of interest to show up and run off with someone's food.

2016-05-09

I just woke from a simple short dream in which my wife walks into the room and announces that I will no longer be allowed to have pet roosters (yes, plural)

First, I have no pet roosters

Second, I have no desire to have pet roosters

Third, why do I have this sudden desire to immediately start building a chicken coop?!?!?

Fourth, why did I think that 'Kanga' was such a great name for a pet rooster? Hold it, no, 'Kanga Rooster' is a great name for a pet rooster.

Googling 'prefabricated chicken coop'

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Well, I finally found something unique to give my wife for her birthday. I got an e-mail from the John R. Kasich presidential campaign letting me know that all their merchandise is FIFTY percent off!!!!

(See, I am a true fan, I knew his middle name.)

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So, Cinco de Mayo celebrates an 1862 military battle defeat of the French army by the Mexican army. I think that means we can create a holiday for any day where some battle took place by any pair of nations. I think that will limit us to only 365.25 days out of 365.25 days of the year.

2016-05-01

Interesting Borger News: on Monday morning at the diner Sandy just barely avoided being shot while in the kitchen.

She had just turned to go into the north prep room from the kitchen and a bullet came in the huge window right at where her head had just been standing by the grill. The bullet then went through a frig and a bottle of salsa then after it came out of the refrigerator it entered a bottle of some cleaner but the liquid changed the trajectory suddenly 90 degrees where it then ricocheted off a few more surfaces entering at least one more room leaving a bit of an exit wound in the wall. When Sandy heard it she initially thought her deep fat fryer had exploded.

Sandy brought a 45 ACP bullet from her house to compare it to the second hole, the frig entry point and it was about the same size.

The second entry point was a few inches higher than where the bullet came through the glass and so it seemed to be on a slightly upward trajectory as it entered the building, so a rough calculation seems that the shot was fired by someone in a car on Main Street, rather than a higher position or a long distance shot which would have had to have cleared the building across the street and the huge number of stationary tanker railroad cars on farther east.

Thankfully our Sandy survived intact.

[I took plenty of photographs which I will try to get from my camera later.]

2016-04-06

This data shows that Republican voters in Pennsylvania want to have their cake and eat it too. Kasich polls last among the Republicans BUT performs better against the Democrats in a general election match up.

2016-02-06

I walk into the living room to tell my wife about the news story I have just read about the last wild jaguar named El Jefe that roams in Arizona. It is s'pposedly the only known jaguar in the U.S. and likely part of a group of jaguars that are in nearby northern Mexico. There is a conflict concerning a new open pit mine that would endanger El Jefe's wandering life style.

I tell my wife that there is only one jaguar left in the United States and she is amazed and asked how they know that. When I start to eXplain the techniques the scientists use to track and record the animal, she laughs and says, "Oh! I thought you meant Jaguar the automobile."

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Yesterday was half filled with cooking, both gumbo and spaghetti. So as part of a long birthday celebration for my friend who is a co-owner of the diner that I frequent, I gave her a portion of each food plus a bottle of my beer from my 3rd batch, an American Cream Ale. Today I will make her a German Chocolate Cake, so she can enjoy it on her day off tomorrow.

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On Monday I started my 4th beer batch. It is a Witbier of the style like Blue Moon Belgian White. I will transfer it from the primary to the secondary fermentation tank today or tomorrow. So I have now tried making 3 different kinds of beer, and enjoyed the American Light, and American Cream Ale. All these kits come from a company called Brewer's Best. My dog Pepper destroyed one of my jugs of water while I had gone to the store very briefly to get a piece of equipment for the extra mash stage of the Witbier. So I ran both dogs outside so I could make beer in peace, otherwise Pepper would have been constantly in the way.

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The Iowa caucus was bizarre. It seemed so undemocratic with coin tosses and delegates and super delegates. I don't understand why there isn't simply voting and then deciding a winner based on who gets the most votes. I was so overjoyed that Trump didn't win. I didn't care about who won but only who lost.

You can tell Trump is starting to really lose it mentally by his increased use of profanity and the choice of which bad words he uses. I wouldn't be surprised by anything now. I am thinking he might as well bring a Moslem "terrorist" on stage at his next rally and strangle him with his bare hands. (I am not encouraging him to do that, I am just thinking what is something bizarre, and that is just one of many things, but I won't bother you with the others.) I am just surprised that no one has made an assassination attempt on him yet. He has white supremicists backing him. He has irritated so many people. The British Parliament debated banning him from their country. Putin likes him and then Trump gave a bit of praise to the leader of North Korea. If someone would have created a movie a year ago about all the things of the Trump 2016 campaign, people would have thought it was unrealistic.

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I have had fun this week converting an old laptop running Windows 7 with an upgrade to Windows 10. It has been rather smooth, and I have seemed to be able to get the latest versions of my business software to run on Windows 10. So I have more confirmation testing to do before I upgrade my main computer used for design and manufacturing. I will also be doing my first hard drive to SSD upgrade most likely next week.

2016-02-01

As I was preparing the dogs' food this morning, Cooper started complaining in a sad low volume whine. I told him, "Be quiet, there are dogs in Ethiopia who are not getting [what you are getting] lasagna for breakfast. Several of them."

And then about 14 seconds later I remembered that Italy invaded Ethiopia [in 1936], so there might actually be several Ethiopian dogs who had lasagna this morning.

I am trying to understand why anyone would think this is a valid news story:

Shark Eats Smaller Shark at South Korean Aquarium

This isn't "news" - fish have been eating fish for a veRy long time.

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At first I thought 'Ted' Cruz, besides being Canadian, might secretly be a TMNT, but then I saw there was a spelling diphpherence between his real name 'Rafael' versus the TMNT 'Raphael'. Then I thought, does the U. S. Constitution require you to be a human to be president; can you be a turtle?!?!?!?

Because turtles come from eggs, this would not be a 'birther' controversy, but rather a 'hatcher' one.

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Yea!!! Better Call Saul, season "won", is finally on Netflix. Winter is over, I have a reason to stop hibernating.

2016-01-27

I was asked to create a design for a school class T-shirt for a local school.

The graduating class is 2017, and they wanted to incorporate the number 17 as an abstract X in the two words WE'RE NEXT. They aren't the current graduating class, but they're next. At first it seemed like a strange design, but after playing with font choices it grew on me. I purposely put the 1 on top of the 7 with the spacing between the numbers to indicate they were layered separate elements, yet stylistically combined to create an abstract X. The 1 is on "top" and rotated left and the 7 below rotated right seemed to be the logical way (to me) to read the numbers as a 17, the mind interpreting the 1 first then the 7.

The customer seemed very pleased, and began the process of collecting orders from other students, so we could begin the printing process.

BUT ... the design was rejected by the school administration because they said it resembled a Nazi swaztika!

I looked at several examples of Nazi swaztikas online, and they seem to always be solid and symmetrical about a rotational axis at 90 degrees. Our X is incorporated as part of a word, and is meant to be separate elements of 1 and 7 layered and they aren't solid, there is a gap. The line width on a swaztika is very uniform width throughout the entire design, and our design clearly is not uniform width.

2016-01-24

I am thinking perhaps Trump had drank a fifth of something, causing him to say this:

"I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn't lose any voters, OK?" Trump told an enthusiastic audience at a Christian school, Dordt College, "Its like incredible."

I am hoping that Donald will go ahead and do that, and that the person he shoots is himself.

The 5th Avenue that Donald speaks of is of course, New York City, which is currently in a blizzard. So we might get double lucky and he will go outside and freeze as well.

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I love this headline!!! It appears that Jeff Bezos has turned himself into a rocket, yes, that would be a first, amaz-on-ing.

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From Thursday in my car

I was just now so hilariously confused at the busy 4 way stop at the intersection of 5th & Main because a f-'ing idiot in a gray Camaro did a U turn in the MIDDLE of the intersection. It was so majestically stupid that I applauded.

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Pepper has made progress by learning to play fetch with a tennis ball. He has caught it several times in mid-air.

My Art

These are some of my abstract art pieces. They are available as prints, send me a note if you are interested.

Couch Glow

Gold As Smoke

Flowing Wood

Award Time

RATs

What Am I Reading?

Mainly the subject of Microcontrollers, Arduino Devices, DNA, Pharmacology and HVAC from a variety of sources.

Currently reading "Connectome: How The Brain's Wiring Makes Us Who We Are" by Sebastian Seung

The Sometimes Missing Followers

If you don't see yourself in my followers list its because most of the time lately Blogger has not been showing the most recent five people of the list; strange. It is sporadic in its display, sometimes 19, sometimes 24.New twist: sometimes there is only one missing, my niece! One of my longest term readers.

One of My Orchids Past

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About Me

Primary Goal in Life: To be the 3rd nicest person in the Universe. I achieve this goal by constantly redefining the word 'nicest', which is currently 8735 words long in all its nuances and handling special incidents such as road rage and being attacked by wildlife.
I wake up every day looking forward to the next friend that I will make, the piece of art that I will create, and the culinary discovery that makes my taste buds tumble. I not only have favorite pieces of music, I have favorite notes within those pieces.