I once spend a rather exciting afternoon being driven around the 14th arrondissement by the flics searching for a man who had walked up to his gf and punched her in the face then walked off (in front of her little daughter).

These were not friends, btw, just a new acquaintance I was walking down the road with.

The flics told me all about their exchange visits to England, mostly centred around Bournmouth as I far as I could work out. They were all plains clothed cops and we bombed around for a good hour.

Then spent three hours at the hospital looking after her little girl before taking her back to her appartment, where the bastard was sleeping his hangover off on the sofa.

At least, he went there for a match. On the plane on the way over they were told it was cancelled and given the option to come straight back, which the sensible ones some of them did.

A few of them stayed on, one of whom thought it would be absolutely hilarious to piss up against the wall of a police station, which is what he used to do at home every Saturday night. Unfortunately the French gendarmes don't have the same type of tolerance as the Irish gardai, and there was a bit of a chase.

Let's just say getting so drunk you don't notice not one, but two broken bones till the morning, or discovering your 16 year old shared a bed with multiple occupants is not a good thing for a mother to find out.

"I'm not a doctor"

And

"They were mostly gay"

Are not valid enough reasons to prevent being banned from an entire city, on the grounds it is "bad for you".

No he hasn't chosen not to go - he'd go to Bognor with a man in a trenchcoat and BO given the chance, but he's been selected for the school senior rugby team which involved a trip to France, and the school hockey team which involved a trip to Spain <outs self>

Funded by us, natch

So there is no way he is going to Paris for a r&r weekend, especially as he is still underage by two years so will quite possibly have more tours to come.

Topsy, it was, but a very good-natured one . There seem to be plenty of bunfights around, I'm sure you will get there in time find one soon [comforting]