Archive for May, 2009

Quacked on from a great height

Monday, 30th March 2009

Usually I couldn’t give a flying duck about water birds or their habits, but having been on the receiving end of a vicious low flying duck guano attack over the weekend, I find myself wondering when duck shooting season might start, (’shoot’ being the only non-swear word that flew out of my mouth during the aforementioned incident). From now on I’ll have my ducks porcelain.

The only thing worse than a bathroom in a boys-only house is the bathroom corridor by The Toff’s band room. It stinks like a pack of giant stinking wildcats has sprayed in there. Or worse. It induces dry wretching and wry facial contortions as punters emerge from the funk hiding behind those pretty velvet curtains. Boy Bathroom Spray, anyone? Come on fellas, give it a go. You stink.