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Nation’s High Schoolers Blame Their Dislike Of Huckleberry Finn On “Lack of Slow Motion and Rap Music”

A recent, nation-wide poll in high school English courses revealed some shocking details as to why today’s youth seem to have such an aversion to classic literature like Huckleberry Finn. One percent stated that they didn’t enjoy the book because of the “uncomfortable racial undertones” and another two percent wrote that it was the book’s “old prose” that drove them away. But an overwhelming ninety-seven percent claimed that they didn’t enjoy the book because there were no “slow motion scenes where white people walked while hip hop music played in the background.”

While Mark Twain’s 1884 novel is a satirical masterpiece to some, most high schoolers say that the jokes are completely lost on them, as they’re not accompanied by Seth Rogen and an N.W.A. song. Leslie Young, of Lake Worth High School, wrote “There are plenty of scenes where boring white people walk in Huckleberry Finn, but I don’t get what was supposed to be so hilarious about the whole thing. All of the scenes with the duke and the king would’ve been way funnier if they had played “Trophies” by Young Money during it, and had the duke and king try to look cool at the same time.”

Jake Pool, of Abingdon High School, wrote “How am I supposed to know that it’s funny? The slow motion and the music lets me understand that, okay, there’s a joke here. I should be laughing at this part.” More notable complaints were that there were “No actors from the ‘80s, making references to other movies that they’d been in” and “Kevin James never fell.”

3 responses to “Nation’s High Schoolers Blame Their Dislike Of Huckleberry Finn On “Lack of Slow Motion and Rap Music””

I am not sure how this survey had been conducted, but assuming there was a questionnaire with questions and multiple answer choices, I wonder if they should have included this choice:”The aversion may have been caused by the complete or almost complete annihilation of imagination, thanks to the movie productions of everything and lack of imaginative play because, hey, we have highly realistic video games now”.