Saturday, October 8, 2011

Awkward Hugs

I've covered hugs before like a long time ago, but I recently noticed that there is so much more to this fascinating subject. I'm an awkward hugger and people, so are you.

Homeschoolers are nerds. Nerds are pro at being awkward. Consequently, homeschoolers are pro at being awkward, but you knew that already. We're weird, but we're a friendly bunch. I mean, obviously homeschooled kids are antisocial and have no friends and yeawhatever. But we still give out hugs, which are practically guaranteed to be awkward. There are a couple of ways to go about this:

1. Hug Them Before They Get The Chance To Object

Of all of the awkward hugging strategies, this one has the most guaranteed uncomfortableness and is a guaranteed hug. It's what we call a win-win. The trick is to do exactly what the title says: hug someone before they get the chance to not hug you. Front hugs work better, but regardless, just go for it.

2. I'll Hug If You Do

Typically performed as a side hug, but a regular hug works too. Basically just stick your arm out as if you were about to hug someone and see if they hug you. Warning: they might not. Bonus points for awkwardness, but you don't get a hug, so you kind of lose.

3. Just Wave

Say you're in a group of people, and one of them is leaving, so everyone is giving them a hug. But you decide you'd rather just stand and wave. That works too. The lack-of-awkward-hug can be an awkwardness in itself.

If you see somebody at a competition that you know but not super well and you're not sure whether or not you should hug them, you should. They might not agree and may even feel uncomfortable, but it's cool. They'll be ready at the next tournament.

You're homeschooled. Are you a hugger?

p.s. click here to read the classic Stuff Christians Like post on the side hug. :)

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If you were not already aware, my blog is a direct rip-off of the blog/book Stuff Christians Like, which is a direct rip-off of Stuff White People Like, which is actually an original idea. I write about funny things in the world of Christian homeschool forensics. Fun.