✒Mariah Carey award for difficult starry behaviour at the MediaGuardian Edinburgh International Television Festival: won by Britain's Got Talent winner Pudsey, guest act on Saturday night shows, who missed his photocall because he got travel sick on the train.

✒Pantsdown prize for most embarrassed exec: in a Celebrity Juice special, a kilted Keith Lemon needled Peter Fincham, ITV's director of television (and so his boss), with a series of filthy inquiries, culminating in "are you a fan of tits?" (Fincham: "Yes and no"). Having also established that Fincham plays in a band called No Expectations, Lemon asked: "Why not call it Daybreak?"

✒Best standoff: Kirsty Wark went in hard and early in her inquisition of BBC1's controller, Danny Cohen, suggesting the channel had been "under a bit of pressure" after "Flotillagate", its much-mocked coverage of the Jubilee river pageant. "It didn't feel like that", he replied, which Wark countered with "it should have done". A visibly stunned Cohen then regained his composure, observing spikily that "some presenters are never happy not to be chosen". Ouch! Runner-up: Peter York asked C4's Jay Hunt to give examples of the programmes she thought gave "authority a punch on the nose", then after she replied, responded: "I'm slightly underwhelmed." "To be honest, it was a slightly underwhelming question," said Hunt, prompting muffled "ooooh" sounds from the audience.

✒Monkey tennis prize: To the unnamed hopefuls who pitched "celebrity rowing" to the BBC and "celebrity cycling and celebrity synchronised swimming" to ITV after the Olympics.

✒Best glimpse of the lives of the rich and famous: Delegates learnt how Simon Cowell reacted to the BBC's launch of The Voice – upping his game in comfort food, according to his TV company Syco's Siobhan Greene, who disclosed that she was "at his house three times a week eating chicken pie" (cooked by his housekeeper Brenda, Monkey exclusively understands) as the shows battled for Saturday night hegemony.

✒Gossip Girl award for bitchiest behaviour: Stuart Murphy, Sky's director of entertainment, told a story of meeting RDF's chief operations officer a year after the indie sacked him. When he offered her a cigarette, she said: "Oh my God! I can't believe how nice you are!" To which he replied: "I'm a nice person. Also, cigarettes give you cancer."