When I am asked how the grief caused by losing someone you love changes over time, I suggest that unfortunately the grief journey is not linear and there are no reliable mileposts to help guide you along the way. Grief is not something you get over or even through, as I’ve heard people say. In my experience, grief is something you learn to carry. It will always be with you in some form, and you will never be the same as you were before. However, there are times when grief may be a little softer than other times and, at some point, you are likely to experience joy again, though you might not recognize it at first.

The holidays can be the worst times. That pretty much goes without saying but, importantly, they are also the times when happiness may be lurking just around the corner. Any happiness will most likely be fleeting and less all-encompassing than it used to be, but I do believe that it’s there and that opportunities to let in the warmth of the holiday spirit will increase over time. [Read more…]

By now, you may have read Sheryl Sandberg’s Facebook post from June 3rd that she wrote to mark the end of sheloshim – a period of religious mourning – for her late husband, Dave Goldberg. (See Sheryl’s original post.)

On May 1st, Dave died in a gym accident while on vacation with his family. He was 47. Sheryl’s profoundly personal, deeply touching post is all the more poignant when you consider that she wrote it so shortly after losing her husband. And I can only imagine that many of the thoughts, emotions, and revelations that she shared will continue to inform each and every day, in some way or another, for the rest of her life. [Read more…]