Short, fat and unassuming, I have extended the boundaries of indifferent posting and spurious comment within the interweb community to previously unimagined levels of banality. This has been achieved without fear of retribution or negative comment so if you're interested in thought patterns that tumble around the inside of my head like old underpants in a washing machine then this is for you.

Pages

Gary Amos

Wednesday, 30 October 2013

I
saw this on a few blogs and so, not wanting to appear illiterate, I
felt obliged to give it a go. It's taken ages because I keep getting
sidetracked and having a quick look at the books I mention and
scratching my head trying to remember things in particular. It's also
the ideal decoy to cover my lack of W/G output, which isn't as low as
you might think, but I need some input on some rule ideas and I
haven't got them down on paper yet. There's also plenty of stuff
painted up, but even I think they're a bit rough!

You'll notice that there's something up with the formatting of this (again!). I've no idea what's up, but there you go. Sorry.

Authors
you've read the most:I
changed this question to 'authors' because I could give a tally with
a bit of thought, but I'm far too lazy. Probably
Philip Pullman, but Neil Gaiman is pretty damn good (but can be
patchy) and there's also Philip K. Dick and Umberto Eco. I've got a
feeling Ben Aaronovitch is going to be high up there when he gets his
arse in gear.

Best
sequel ever:'Gormenghast',
the second volume in the Gormenghast trilogy. The awful Steerpike
continues his rise to power which leads to an inevitable and
climactic confrontation with Titus! This is poetry in prose.
Wonderful books.

Drink
of choice while reading:I
usually get told off for not drinking!

E-reader
or physical book:Like
'em both, but I'm still a book lover. E-books seem too ephemeral. I
like the practicality of my Kindle (mobility, convenience etc.), but
it'll never replace the real thing. Military books just don't seem
best suited to the e-book format.

Fictional
character you would probably have dated in high school:

A
long time ago in a galaxy far, far away a bearded man wrote a fairy
story about intergalactic wars between an evil empire and rebels. It
generated six films, spin offs and a TV series along with limitless
merchandising opportunities and vast wealth for its creator who,
strangely, has never been able to afford a razor.

Many
sad buggers cling to the saga and forget that it's only pretend and
is unlikely ever to make its way into the English canon. Still, I
suppose it beats real life . . . . Princess
Leia – there has only ever been one! I couldn't care less that she
doesn't really qualify: argue with this:

Glad
you gave this book a chance:'If,
on a Winter's Night, A Traveller', Italo Calvino. Came highly
recommended by an old friend who's a bit of a literary wizz. Best
desrcription: “The
narrative is about a reader trying to read a book called If
on a winter's night a traveler.
Every odd-numbered chapter is in the second person, and tells the
reader what he is doing in preparation for reading the next chapter.
The even-numbered chapters are all single chapters from whichever
book the reader is trying to read.” (Wikipaedia)

Hidden
book gem:'I
am Legend', Richard Matheson. I can do no more than quote the opening
of the Wikipaedia entry:
“Robert Neville is the apparent sole survivor of a pandemic whose
symptoms resemble vampirism. It is implied that the pandemic was
caused by a war, and that it was spread by dust storms in the cities
and an explosion in the mosquito population. The narrative details
Neville's daily life in Los Angeles as he attempts to comprehend,
research, and possibly cure the disease, to which he is immune . . .
.” Forget the films, they're crap: read the book!!!!!

Important
moment in your book life:Reading
'To Spare the Conquered' by Stephanie Plowmansometime
between about 1962–1963 so , say I was eight or nine years old.
First 'proper' book I read fully without becoming bored to death,
except for 'Vulpes an English Fox', 'Robin Hood' and 'Treasure
island'. Not bad for a kid who was dyslexic (though not terminally
so). They hadn't actually invented dyslexia then – or at least not
in Salford – so I was just considered to be a bit thick.

Just
finished:Ben
Bova's 'Mars' series – OK, but a bit predictable and formulaic.
Stick with the chocolate bars.

'Fighting
Them on the Beaches', (D-Day etc.) Nigel Cawthorne. Not brilliantly
researched and contained a few technical slips, but OK for anyone
wanting a first stab at the subject. Thankfully dead cheap for
Kindle: there are plenty of better books out there if you wants to
pay yer money.

Kind
of book you won't read:There's
so much bilge out there. Crime stuff and unoriginal sci-fi/fantasy;
the list is pretty long. Good
example would be George RRRRRRRRRRRRRRR Martin's current, overlong
attempt to be the Tolkein of the 21st
century. It could have been knocked together by most teenagers, but
for the fact that the sex would have been more ably handled and
the swearing would have been better. The TV series is easily more
enjoyable because of the soft porn and because you don't have to
make the physical effort to hold the book.

Longest
book you've read:

Done
'War & Peace' plus Tolkein and Peake's respective magna opera.

Major
book hangover because of:

Predictable
plots and poor characters.

Number
of bookcases you own:

Five,
plus seven stacks of between eighteen and twenty four inches. When
I've finally got round to doing up the house (after Henry's gone to
school, I think) I'll attend to this.One
(lots of!) book(s) you've read multiple times:

Probably
'I am Legend', 'Lord of the Rings' set and the 'Gormenghast'
trilogy.Preferred
place to read:

Quote
that inspires you/gives you all the feelsfrom a book you've read:

“Sections
in the bookstore:- Books You Haven't Read- Books You
Needn't Read- Books Made for Purposes Other Than Reading-
Books Read Even Before You Open Them Since They Belong to the
Category of Books Read Before Being Written- Books That If You
Had More Than One Life You Would Certainly Also Read But
Unfortunately Your Days Are Numbered- Books You Mean to Read But
There Are Others You Must Read First- Books Too Expensive Now and
You'll Wait 'Til They're Remaindered- Books ditto When They Come
Out in Paperback- Books You Can Borrow from Somebody- Books
That Everybody's Read So It's As If You Had Read Them, Too- Books
You've Been Planning to Read for Ages- Books You've Been Hunting
for Years Without Success- Books Dealing with Something You're
Working on at the Moment- Books You Want to Own So They'll Be
Handy Just in Case- Books You Could Put Aside Maybe to Read This
Summer- Books You Need to Go with Other Books on Your Shelves-
Books That Fill You with Sudden, Inexplicable Curiosity, Not Easily
Justified- Books Read Long Ago Which It's Now Time to Re-read-
Books You've Always Pretended to Have Read and Now It's Time to Sit
Down and Really Read Them”

Italo Calvino' 'If, on a
Winter's Night, a Traveller'

Very
true and probably the most appropriate quote for this questionnaire!

Reading
regret:

So
many books, so little time . . .

Series
you started and need to finish:

None
I can think of, but I can think of some I started and binned without
regret.

Three
of your all-time favourite books:

'The
Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman', Laurence Sterne

'Broken
Homes', Ben Aaronovitch, but I'm too tight to buy the hardback.
Actually, I've simply not got round to it yet, which is a damning
statement for someone who claims to like his books so much!Worst
bookish habit:

Tsundoku

X marks
the spot - Start at the top left of yourbookshelf and pick the 27th
book:

'Frederick
the Great; a Military Life', Christpoher Duffy

'The
Complete Maus', Art Spiegel

'The
Washing of the Spears', Donald R. Morris

'Cities
in Flight', James Blish

'The
Crusades through Arab Eyes', Amin Maalouf

I'll
ignore the stacks . . .

Your
latest book purchase:

'The
Franco-Prussian war 1870-7' (2 Vols), Quintin BarryZzz
snatcher book (the last book that kept you up waay too late):

Friday, 25 October 2013

A short(ish) while ago I
received a set of scenario PDFs from Chris Stoesen ( 'Wargamer's Oddsand Ends' blog). There was no ulterior motive, just have a read
through and let him know what I thought. So I did and here's what I
think.

There are four books
involved, two for the WWII air war in the Western Desert, one for the
Italians on the Russian Front in WWII and a set for the ACW. All very
nicely produced and packed with information. You can get more
information and buy the sets from Chris' blog.

I have to confess to a
problem with scenarios. The standard I'm used to is that set by the
Royal Navy for their own and NATO exercises and for little bits of
'shufty' work which, of course, never happened. We were given huge
amounts of (relevant) tasking information and data and superb
briefing notes and guidelines. I've yet to see their equal and it's a
rare bird in the wargaming world. So, my view of the majority of
scenario publications I've seen over the years has been pretty dim.
They've been mostly O.K., but generally 'could do better' and not
really worth spending money on, with a few notable exceptions.
Thankfully, Chris' four sets fall into the 'a few notable exceptions'
tray as they're pretty good in my jaundiced opinion. I've seen plenty
of hypothetical scenarios, which are relatively easy to compile, but
the challenge of writing historically accurate ones and, more
importantly, historically accurate ones that work, isn't one to be
taken lightly. “Well of course he'd say that, wouldn't he!” No he
wouldn't.

To begin with, I'll talk
about the two sets of air scenarios. I was drawn to these first
because I've never played an air wargame and wanted to get an idea
how they worked. Obviously the books are sequential and cover the
whole of the North Africa campaign.

Falcon and Gladiator:
June 40 to February 41 for use with 'Bag the Hun' and 'Check Your
Six'

Air War in the Western
Desert: June 41 to November 42 for use with 'Bag the Hun'

They are 122 and 120
pages respectively and a mine of information. I'm sure die hard air
wargamers will be familiar with much of the background information,
but, as I've generally focused on the land fighting and the
Mediterranean naval campaign, the air warfare has always been linked
to these. Not too unrealistic a view actually as the air battles were
governed by the need to support the ground offensives and attack of
defend the naval convoys.

The books follow similar
formats, containing background campaign information, orders of battle
and briefing notes, but, more than the other two books, they launch
very quickly into the rule related information (plenty of that!),
which, in itself, was interesting to me. The information and scenario
specific rule amendments/additions are absorbing to a novice like me
and they're well written so that even I could grasp the situation
first off. They also include plenty of references and are
supplemented by game templates. If you're sad like me and actually
like reading orders of battle/TOEs, you'll understand why I found this
aspect of the books the most interesting.

So, you can cover just
about the whole of the air conflict for the campaign with minimum
stress other than having to do the actual gaming. I thought air
wargaming was really only doable on a PC to give a convincing game,
but I'm in the process of changing my mind!

Despite being the baby
of the four books, coming to a mere 92 pages (!), this set was my
immediate 'favourite' because of the period, but (see below) they're
not limited to the ACW. The scenarios are linked by a 'campaign
generator' to recreate the Battle of the Peach Orchard, actually a
series of skirmishes over a period of weeks over an area of peach
orchards in the Falls Church area of Virginia. The peaches themselves
could well have been the actual object of the engagements as fighting
ceased once all the peaches had been pinched by the soldiers. So, not
the more famous 'Peach Orchard' at Gettysburg!

Now, I'm not much of a
skirmish gamer and “Terrible Sharp Sword' is an ACW derivative of
Too Fat Lardies' 'Sharpe Practice' rules. They're designed for what
I'd describe as a large skirmish game with, say, two dozen to twelve
dozen (keep it imperial!) figures a side. However, as with all
scenario books worth their salt, the seventeen set pieces can be
altered as you wish and the option for larger scale actions is an
easy one to take up. I'd have little difficulty upping these to at
least brigade level affairs, if not divisional squabbles, so a big
plus from my point of view. There's also a decent bibliography,
including URL's for websites.

In the Name of Roma!:
Actions of the 80th Roma Infantry Division on the Eastern
Front, August to December 1941.

These are designed for
use with 'I Ain't Been Shot Mum', 3rd edition; 'Troops,
Weapons & Tactics' and 'Chain of Command'. The Spanish Blue
Division is familiar to many gamers, but I don't recall much being
published about the Italians on the Eastern Front.

As if the other books
aren't good enough, this is the magnum opus of the set. In fact, it's
more of a labour or love, weighing in at a healthy 209 pages
according to my laptop. It's a very good history in its own right
and worth having without any wargaming interest. Those who do buy it
for the actual scenarios will find they've got an extended bargain in
that they can be transposed to other periods quite easily. The maps
themselves should be easily modified to accommodate, say, Napoleonic
brigade or even divisional actions.

As you might expect by
now, each scenario is a complete package with orbats, map,
background, conditions etc. and, importantly, umpire notes, so you
can literally pick up and play. Those who want to adapt these for use
in other periods will have as much to do as they wish. The briefing
and notes are fine as is, but work will obviously need to be done on
the weapon systems and orbats. If you simply want to game the
scenarios as they were intended, but with another rules system, the
notes contained in the introduction are excellent for this and I
think they'd do well for use with the Force on Force rules,
transposed to more modern conflicts such as the Balkans (or just
about anywhere else for that matter). However, it's a much neglected
subject and I think it's well worth looking into, particularly with
the advent of the Perry WWII Italians.

I haven't gone into too
much detail about these books because, to be honest, they speak for
themselves. I've possibly been a
little excited by their adaptability, but that's the sort of thing I
tend to look for. However, I've got to say that they're excellent value for
money and, being PDFs, you can get them from Chris's blog more or less instantly. Chris
has written other scenario books which are available on the 'Too Fat Lardies' site.

Sunday, 13 October 2013

Bit of a quick one to do
a catch-up because real life continually intrudes and is making a bit
of a mess of my otherwise moribund timetable.

Well that last post
certainly caused some disquiet. I even had a couple of emails asking
if I was alright. Alright? I'm always like that/this: what's the
problem? Anyway, as a week has passed, it's about time to come up
with the 'winners' of the little conundrum which finished the entry.
Actually, nobody came up with all the answers (surprise, surprise),
but two did identify me – damn! However, for the sake of the
curious, I'm the one on the left. It's frightening how nature can
contort Adam's perfect form, but there you go. For the record, the
Royal Machine is the one in the middle who is also the other wargamer
and he and the chap on the right are the motorcyclists. The evening
in question became quite an adventure, but it's not for publication
here, even though, to the best of my knowledge, no by-laws were
infringed. I did have a little trouble with gravity though.

So, the winners are:

MS Foy (you know
who you are!)

Andrew Saunders

and I'd better include
Paul even though he bottled out. Actually, (THIS IS
IMPORTANT!) as only five of you had the gumption to have a go, if you
all send me your addresses, you can all have something, even Ray ;O)
That should sort out who actually reads this thing . . . .

Oh and the labels for the
post did seem to have some effect. I can't believe so many people
read that drivel, but I can't see any evidence of search bots. I'll
leave them on a little longer though just to see if the entry dies
the death as entries are prone to do.

Other things . . .

Jonathan Freitag is
having a give-away to celebrate his Palouse Wargames Journal's first
birthday:

Exciting for me anyway,
was an email from Chris Stoesen of 'Wargamer's Odds and Ends'
with some of his scenarios for comment. Four
sets: two WWII North African Campaign air war, one for the Russian
Front and an ACW set. I haven't given tham a proper read through yet,
but they look excellent for their designated periods and, equally
important in my view, the land scenarios are easily adapted for other
periods. The wise will go to his site and investigate. So, more of this anon.

As another reminder, go
across to the Blog-Con site (see above right). Join and get to the
(first annual?) meeting at the Foundry HQ in Nottingham on the
9th/10th November. It's not only going to be
interesting, with plenty to do, but you'll also be able to meet other
bloggers who you worship and adore from afar. I'm going just to touch
the hem of Ray's toga to see if any of his luck will rub off . . .

I've actually had a bit
of a run of luck on the give-aways front lately. As I said, forty
five years of nothing and then more wins than you can shake a hairy
stick at. When I get my act together I'll list them. Despite this, I'm not resting on my laurels and I do intend
to have a November give-away once I've sorted out the crap
wargaming delights in the loft. By the way, I've noticed that some bloggers actually welcome new followers, which is something I've not done. I ought to, I suppose, as it at least gives a nod to those who've made the effort, but, for now, please accept my thanks. I also know a a couple of good counselling services to compensate for this blog.

And finally, Google +:
what's the point? Against my better judgement, I got part of the way
through adopting it and then changed my mind. Seems a lot of fuss
over not too much. Unfortunately, I'm now in limbo: parts of G+
appear all over the place. I'm in and out of circles (whatever they
are) and I get all kinds of strange messages about things I don't
understand. I'm open to advice. Do I ignore it or adopt it?

Saturday, 5 October 2013

I
occasionally have repetitive or even sequential dreams which are a
sure sign that I'm about to come down with something. Very useful,
but the 'something' covers a wide range of ailments. Anyway, I've
been having these for a week or so which turn out to be a harbinger
of a possibly terminal affliction. I also have other warning signs
like my obscenity quotient rising to a level sufficient to make a
Bo'sun's Mate blush and a tolerance level which plummets through the
floor. Example: Chris insisted on making a raid on Aldi today as
part of the shopping exped. Going to Aldi on a Friday is like being
in Blackhawk Down, but with more violence. You actually need a
helicopter anyway because there's nowhere to park. After about two
hours she spotted a space and made a dash for it, but gently (and I
mean gently) brushed against the wing mirror of the car in the
adjoining bay. I say 'in', but I've seen abandoned cars dumped with
better parking skill. The driver shouted something: Chris apologised
but I told him to get £@<&€§. I won.

So, by
last night/tonight I had a ranging fever. It must've been about 150C
– the sort of thing that gives vulcanologists wet dreams. I flaked
out at 00:08 (can't help it, it's a navy thing) and had a really odd
dream. I picked up the thread of not one, but two of these sequential
dreams and, two hours later, had written and produced two radio
plays. Quality stuff too like those on Radio 4 that nobody listens
to. The storylines are fading now, but they were pretty good, if I
say so myself.

So, now
wide awake, I begin to think of the old shoes and ships and sealing
wax, of cabbages and kings. I had a think about my funeral, which I
do now and again because my mother died very suddenly and my father
died after quite a period of infirmity following a stroke,
Consequently, both their funerals were sort of off the cuff as far as
the service went. I've always thought “Not for me Jack.” and let
my immediate family know my ideas. Currently the music includes
'Solsbury Hill', 'Eternal Father' and, as the curtain closes, 'Please
Don't Talk About Me When I'm Gone', but that'll probably change. I
also plan to do my best to snuff it between mid November and mid
February when the weather's at its worst and have the will read on
the centre spot of an empty Old Trafford Stadium to show how bloody
insignificant we are. The acknowledgement in the Evening News
(complete waste of money) will also list all those who were invited,
but obviously had something better to do. Nothing wrong with a bit
of spite from beyond the grave.

I even
managed to have a think about wargames and I've decided to bin the
'I'll do my own Napoleonic rules' project (probably a 'for the time
being' thing) and settle for Le Feu Sacre, which, although I'm not
entirely confortable with some of the game modelling, will satisfy my
needs. I'll also finish that bloody Austrian regiment tomorrow and
get on with something more interesting like the grenadier battalions
and more grenzers. I'm planning to get some of the Blue Moon Austrian
and Hungarian infantry because I just can't face more Battle Honours
infantry than I've got waiting to be prepped and some French infantry
in great coats because they're easy to paint, historically accurate
and less boring than the most tedious uniform of the Napoleonic
Wars.

I'll keep
the ECW rules on the boil and crack on with the figures, but my
Italian Wars project is waiting for a slot in the painting schedule.
I haven't actually got a painting schedule, but I don't want to sound
a complete klutz.

The ACW
jobs (15mm and 28mm!) will just be grabbed as and when. I've little
or no self discipline these days, but they're an understanding bunch
of lads and don't hold grudges (but what am I going to do with 6
regiments of zouaves?). The rest of the crap stuff
will probably end up on the give-away in November(ish).

Ah there
you go. I can think of at least a couple of you who've suddenly come
to point like an old gun dog. Yep, I'll do one in November because:

It's a
significant birthday (for everyone else but me, it seems).

It's
Blog-Con.

I haven't
done one yet.

I really
do have some rubbish to shift excellent wargaming
goodies to redistribute.

Now,
there seems to be an undue amount of concern among some bloggers
about how many hits they receive and numbers of followers etc., which
leaves me a little bewildered. Going back a few weeks there was a
debate about why one blogs and what one gets out of it. From what I
can remember, nobody mentioned anything about followers or hits, so I
wonder what the worry is for. It's good for the ego to have lots of
followers and an embarrassment of hits (there, I've said it), but
unless you're running a business via your blog, I'm otherwise lost.
Anyway, I've added some ridiculous labels to this post to see if they
really do have an influence on the number of hits.

Now then,
Quick puzzle: Look at the photograph below:

Three
moderately drunken men:

two are
wargamers and one isn't;

two are
motorcyclists, but one isn't;

one was
in the navy, one in the marines and one a confirmed civilian;

one of
'em is me.

You have
to sort out who's who and the ones who get it right will receive a
nice little something as a prize. (Should be safe there then!) If you
can't work it out then you haven't been reading this blog for long
enough and you can't use Google. :OP