Back in 1988, there was some sort of network program called "War Of The Stars," We're guessing it was like that "Network Stars" show, but, you know, less popular, and with more Dick Van Patten. Well, NESW Sports has dug up archive footage of a young Michael Jordan playing basketball against ... Martin and Charlie Sheen.

We don't want to give away the winner, but we will remind you that this Michael Jordan moment is being broadcast by Dick Van Patten. Television production values were so much higher in the '80s; we've degraded so much.