spring break has been pretty cool, nothing really has happened just the break last friday and it was totally worth it. its just been a kinda relaxing week off from school. the wisdom teeth pulling went fine i just wish i could eat food and not have my jaw hurt and be swollen on the right side anymore. but it just has to heal. i just wish i was able to see everyone but shit changes whatever who i wanted to see i saw aka cathy i love you, and others. i still have time to see a few others but whatever. i really need to start working i think my interview with 24 hour was pretty cool but who knows i have to wait for my phone call today to see whats up. so thats about it thats new.

so i had a dream starting from 10 some to 12 why 12 because thats when i woke up from a nice but equally weird dream. im over evaluating this dream because i actually remember it and i want to know why and whats the meaning to it, i have a few ideas from various sources that seem to make sense but i need to go see like sylvia brown or something. that lady is awesome i love her on montel but shes on there quite a bit a little too much on a weekly basis. lol

ive been talking to james a lot more recently and i dont think thats good at all. last night he and curly were in jail for being drunk in public and i was his phone call, even being drunk he remembers my number... all signs to not so good. i want to be his friend but its weird because his feelings havent changed. hes trying so hard to improve himself with hopes that i will want him back but its like a little too late. hes now going to school, has work, is going to the gym, and once hes done with school hes going into the army. its like where was the fire under his ass before. like im happy that he is doing all of this but the reasons arent good he should have wanted to do this without thinking i will get back with him. ughs all i can do is keep conversations with him short or something i guess? he wanted me to go to a rave with him tonight and i was like negative, you for someone who was just in jail for the night shouldnt be in that kind of environment and then he wanted to hang out with me and i wasnt about to go hang out with him just so he could show off how he has money know that he earned not by selling weed and shit.

i hate liking people i over analyze everything, like the whole do they like me thing and such it sucks. i guess i just got used to guys always wanting me recently that when it isnt like that i wanna find out if they do or something i dont know its just weird i guess. i just want someone nice and cute and already has their shit together.

i found out today by taking an online free survey that i am consistent with moderately severe depression and might be at risk for harming myself. i find this interesting and somewhat true. amanda and i have been talking about depression and just not feeling right about school and such that maybe this is true and its like reality that i do need help? ill bring it up to my counselor on thursday it will be weird sense ive never met her before and im going with her to see what classes i should take next semester but ya i feel like im just going to be honest and let everything out to her. i hope i dont scare her lol that wouldnt be cool at all.

Last night cathy, cassie, and i went out on the town to go to fresh choice and see 300 in union city. cassie and i had a battle of the double digits that turned hXc. boy we didnt take advantage of the 10$ buffet. ohhh well we ate enough for us and that made us full. so i have come to the conclusion that i want to be a SPARTAAAN after seeing this movie... it has everything you need t and a, hot men, banana hammocks, blood and guts. ya know all that you could ever ask for and more haha. but i still am upset with why did the hot guy have to die!!!?!?!:(haha i had a joyous time with cathy and cassie ♥

what is the point of fighting with someone at 1:30 in the morning and both of you are half awake... my god someone is on a freakin power trip and needs to get over herself. my god i didnt know the stupid cat was going to go to your door a start meowing at it, i dont complin when you put her in my room she was freakin meowing at my door to go out, im sorry that im not smart enough to figure that she should go outside... smndfkjhsdf

so today started out pretty nice then it turn into a pretty craptastic day.

- Woke up at 4:30+ Left for school on time- We had a sucky sub in english+ Austin and i walked to class+ I got a pass to go to the office during 2nd- Waiting forever to talk to mrs. andrews- I need to talk to mrs. low- How my mom took the information about her having to talk mr. powers+ I got a twix+ I got paid in econ haha+ Anna and i baked cookies+ Went to auto- Marc attacked my eye-+ I punched marc hella hard+ Nail appt after class+ Talked to kevin+ Saw a fight at auto+ Spent time with amanda getting nails done- Came home- Took my sister to practice- Got yelled at for having a sharks game to attend- Was told i was a failure in a serious manner and that im pretty much nothing to my mom+ Spent time with my dad at the sharks game- Sharks lost+ They still get a point+ I got a sharks pillow

Because i technicly gave up my weekend i could have done the following:1) Gone to see swimmers race with amanda and ellie tomorrow2) Go to veronicas party thing saturday night3) Go to the beach on sunday with some of the crew(i dont think i could have gone anyways)

so day 2 is over and today wasnt too bad... now that i know all we do is sit infront of the computer for like 3 hours and work on random shit isnt too bad. maybe things will get more complicated closer to the end? who knows. im just happy its over for today. in my class i made ali a birthdya card, a flyer for cheer tryouts and i started working on a calendar... simply amazing i know. and with that i also practiced my typing and i wrote a journal about what i had done in class. it was fun let me tell you.

last night was very very interesting. i went out with cody it was pretty fun but ya some stuff with him always goes too far but i got home safely soo thats all that matters. i told a few people what happend and that it was simply interesting haha and ya. he leaves on the 22nd for boot camp and its kinda scary to know that wants to go to the middle east to fight. but boot camp comes before that but still we shall see if he can handle it.

helll yes we do hahah and its hella funny.... it was a fun night for us lmfao.... ohhh and then attempting to stalk is hella fun as well.... ohhh man ali and i need to have nights like this more often :)♥

and then what made is better seeing marissa on the side of the road because her car over heated hahaha lame and hella funny

and ali cant make an update teeeheee..... the puppies are on alis computer OMG!!!! haha just wiat ali until you can update.... sara i hope you are happy that i now have updated.... its been 4 weeks and ya. haha ali sara and i are screwed on our film project hahaha thats great and all we do is record ourselves listening to music its great. i love them lots and we are being sneaky and trying to not get caught by mr. pedowers.....yaaaaaaaa. so we listen to our ipods and its great.... i miss watching movies in this class but im over it. ali is next to be being awesome and sara is next to her being awesome and whats his bucket got up so i have to be real sneaky. he just saw the face!!!! omg ahaha the puppies!!!! i cant wait for you sara to make me a poem. hahaewwww that looks like a rock! nasty puppies.

a lot of stuff has happend to katie and only some people know the end of that.

so highlights so far:- Weffin leaves tomorrow morning :(+ i saw Weffin 2 times and they were great+ i saw Veronica today :)- school was lame for 2 days+ i love my friends- i hate how i get all technical on random ass stuff sometimes- i want new stuff for my car- i have homework+ cheer is fun hahaha

so im not complaining because im happy with what i have and the people that i was able to visit with and all but im just kinda blah. like my sister got stuff that i wanted and that were more useful but i just need to keep reminding myself that i see dad more often and just that is a gift nd that when i do see him he always gets me stuff. so i am thankful for that. my dad is awesome no matter what. this christmas was more about my mom than anything, in a good way. she does soo much even though she isnt working and i think i sometimes forget that. after presents were opened my sister and i went on a drive through niles it was nice it was just fun there was no point to it just to go somewhere.

so at the moment i dont know what to do with 150$ - buy uggs or just go buy clothes. i still dont know.