Posted Sat Nov 18 21:57:00 EAT 2017

THAT'S LIFE: When the ‘why me’ question comes up

“This wasn’t supposed to happen to me,” my friend repeated quietly when I visited her in hospital, as she recuperated from surgery. PHOTO | FILE

In Summary

The thing is that everyone will encounter some bumps on the road of life. The question is not if, but when.

So why do we get so surprised when it happens to us? We want to know what we did that brought about the misfortune.

What if nothing in your control is responsible for what you are going through right now?

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“This wasn’t supposed to happen to me,” my friend repeated quietly when I visited her in hospital, as she recuperated from surgery.

She had done everything right, as far as we could see. She drank more than five glasses of water a day, exercised, ran marathons and ate healthy.

She religiously did her medicals on every birthday, and it was thanks in part to her diligence that the doctors had discovered the lump in her breast. I wondered what to say, and realised that in such moments, just being present would have to do.

As I left the hospital, I shook my head at the sheer injustice of it all. “Why, God, why? Why her? Why now?” Just several years ago, she had met and married the love of her life, and they had two toddlers.

Life had been good. And then this. The heavens were silent.

The thing is that everyone will encounter some bumps on the road of life. The question is not if, but when. So why do we get so surprised when it happens to us?

We want to know what we did that brought about the misfortune. What if nothing in your control is responsible for what you are going through right now?

A drunk driver hits you on your way home. Your company closes and lays everyone off. A loved one dies. A spouse leaves. You find a suspicious lump.

The fact is, you could be doing everything right, as far as you are concerned but stuff still happens.

Well beating your head against a wall, ruminating about all the reasons why you deserve more or better, will not do.

WHAT ACCEPTANCE LOOKS LIKE

The one thing that works when life gives you one of those “This wasn’t supposed to happen to me” experiences, is acceptance. Accept that while life is generally good and beautiful, there are moments when things can go horribly wrong.