How do I deal with toddler and reflux newborn???

Hi,

We are pretty sure our 7 week old has reflux/colic. Seeing the paed tomorrow.

I'm at a complete loss as to how to deal with toddler as well. Toddler (T) has been amazing so far and we've kinda got by as had a nanny helping for a few weeks (I had a c-section and family couldn't help out). But now she's gone and so far we've had two days where it was just me and the kids. They wen't ok . . . as in if NB stays in sling, sometimes she is ok (ie stops screaming) and it was luck I guess she was sort of ok during the day Monday and Tuesday (night another matter). But today (ANZAC day) she has screamed the whole day.

Fortunately husband was home but T is pretty much just getting left on the couch watching tv . . . he's becoming more and more introverted, is talking less and constantly telling me "go away mummy". Not so interested in playing anymore, only wants to watch Thomas the Tank Engine. Has told husband he is worried about NB crying (volunteered it out of the blue, this wasn't elicited). Constantly tells me to get NB when she cries and give her "more milk".

How on earth am I supposed to look after both? If she's in the lounge with us he gets upset with her constant crying/screaming. If I'm with her in teh bedroom he's being abandoned. I normally lean towards attachment parenting, but am contemplating just leaving her. Nothing seems to work to make her stop screaming. Whether we hold her, feed her, rock her, dummies, slings etc etc she will only sleep after screaming herself out after at least 2 hours. So does it really matter if I leave her in her room?? I know that sounds just awful but what do I do?

I have no family here to help and the small friends that I do have are either working or have their own children so can't help - ie I have absolutely no help/support. Most people I've mentioned it to have no idea and just say things like "all babies cry in teh first few months". MCH haven't been able to help other than saying yes its tough . . .

Has anyone else had to deal with a toddler as well? Any advice? Can you also tell me are there any support groups? We live in Melbourne in the CBD.

I can relate - my DS1 was 26mths when DS2 arrived and we went through/are going through reflux with DS2. If it makes you feel any better we have survived nearly 6 months now and getting better each day.

I found that DS2 would settle really well in the pram so did a lot of walking in those early weeks. Even just down to the park, around the block, sometimes to the shops etc. These little outings really helped DS1 a lot as it really broke up the days being stuck inside at home. I couple of times I resorted to putting the both in the car and going for a drive just to get some peace.

Does your toddler go to day care at all? This might help I giving you both a break.

I know it's really hard at the moment but trust me, things will get better each week and as you get the reflux under control the screaming will lessen along with your anxiety levels. Have you seen a doc regarding the reflux?

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