Don't Be Sad My Friends

Family is very crucial in an Islamic society. In a family institution, there are many elements that keep a family together like love, sacrifice, loyalty and obedience. A family essentially comprises the husband, the wife and children.

Family relationships focus on relationships between husband and wife and parents to children.

In the Qur’an, it was mentioned: “He created for you spouses from yourselves that you might find rest in them, and He ordained between you love and mercy.” (30-21)

The Prophet Muhammad SAW emphasized on this when he said: “The best among you are those who are best to their families and I am the best of you to my family.” At an occasion a man approached the Prophet and enquired: “Who is the person who is most worthy of my good companionship? The Prophet answered your mother, your mother, your mother then your father. That is why Islam made Paradise under the feet of mothers.”

Parents are expected to raise their children carefully that is why children should be obedient and good to their parents. What this means, parents should perform their duty first prior to asking for their rights.

If not, they can expect rebellion and hatred from their children. In the Qur’an, Allah mentioned, “Allah has decreed that you worship none other but Him, and that (you show) kindness to parents. Should one or both of them attain to old age with you, Say not "Fie" unto them nor repulse them, but speak unto them a gracious word. And lower unto them the wing of submission through mercy and say: My Lord! Have mercy on them both as they did care for me when I was little. Your Lord is best aware of what is in yourselves. If you are righteous, then Lo! He was ever forgiving unto those who turn unto Him. (17: 23-25).

The relationship is based on the belief in Allah SWT, and feeling that He observes all what we do and that we are accountable to Him even in the anger that we may release against our parents. Even this has to be controlled.

Another mention in the Qur’an about this is, “We have enjoined unto man kindness toward parents. His mother bears him with reluctance and delivers him with reluctance. His bearing and weaning are thirty months, till when he attains full strength and reaches forty years, he says: My Lord! Arouse me that I may give thanks for the favour where with you have favoured my parents, and me and I may do right acceptable unto you. And be gracious unto me concerning my seed. I have turned unto you repentant and Lo! I am one of Muslims.

In relation to this verse, Allah SWT has this to say to these kinds of children, those are they from whom We accept the best of what they do, and We overlook their evil deeds among the owners of Paradise. This is the true promise, which they used to be promised (in the world).

There are also Muslim parents who ask their children to rebel against Allah SWT and raise their children in a family lack of Islamic teachings. The Qur’an says, “We have enjoined on man kindness to parents. And should they strive to make you join with Me that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not. Unto me is your return and I shall tell you what you used to do". (29:8).

Parents such as this should not be obeyed but continue to be good to them is still required.

Since a family is essential in Islam, relationships between husbands, wife and children should be guided by the Qur’an, only with this a family institution can succeed.