Strangers mixing in..

Bonnie - posted on 12/20/2010
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So, it really bugs me when I am in a store shopping with or without my husband and the kids and strangers who don't know me or my family from a hole in the ground mix into our business. The other day, I was shopping with my 2 year old and he wanted to sit in the big part of the cart, so I said okay whatever will keep him content. So he kept wanting to stand up. I was pushing the cart slow enough that I believed that would help control and there would be less of a chance of him falling in the cart.Anyways we were in that one store for maybe 30-45 minutes and at least 3 people walked by us at different times making comments, "oh you better sit down before you fall out of the cart", "you better get your son to sit down before you make him fall", "little boy, you are going to fall and hit your head if you don't sit down." ugh...he was pouting. People almost made him cry. I just wanted to say, mind your own business and keep walking. Then another day recently, my husband and I were in Walmart with our 2 year old and he was sleeping, so my husband went to lay him down in the cart and used the hood of his coat to kind of cushion his head and a woman walks by and yells out, "Geez, that can't be comfortable for your kid. Get some clothes and put it under him." and she kept on walking. Like holy cow people, you want to walk by and smile or whatever fine, but keep your comments to yourself. I never do anything like this to anyone. It's so rude in my opinion. I doubt this is why they are in the stores to mind other people's business and stick in their 2 cents.

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Laura - posted on 12/21/2010

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I agree, I hate it when people butt into your business however as someone who used to work in retail I can not tell you the number of times our store had to pay for a child going to the emergency room because they fell out of a cart. I witnessed it nearly once a week and that's when I work 40 hrs a week. I can't imagine how many times it happened when I wasn't there. We were encouraged to ask the kids to sit down or ask the parents. I guess I'm a hypocrite cuz I've asked kids to sit down before but I hate when people do it to me :)

Edited to add

If the mother is paying attention and watching the kid I would keep my mouth shut, but if the mothers back is turned and the kid is standing up that's when I would speak up.

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Tammy - posted on 12/30/2010

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Bonnie I think Sarah was just trying to give a frame of reference. Most caring people would comment about a small child standing in the cart out of concern. An unconcerned person would not generally be identified by saying "jump out of the cart" but instead by not caring at all. While I agree that MANY times people really should keep some comments to themselves I also think we need to reflect a little on what the reasoning may be behind the comment. It helps (believe me) to just purposly assume that they are saying things out of general concern and caring and not just to be interfering.

Not to mention the carts usually have a picture sign that says not to allow young children to stand in the basket. It is a liability issue for the store and they have every right to have their employees tell you to put your child in the proper spot in the cart. All those people who don't watch their kids and they fall out, who do you think their sueing? And since none of these people know you from Eve how are they supposed to know if you may or may not be a mom who doesn't care? I mean, there was just a grandmother who tossed her young granddaughter over a bridge overpass! While not everything is that extreme (no I'm not implying you would do this) there are many levels of nuttiness in this world and unless we wear signs noone can know at what level we are.

Then you need to consider if you are the only mother in the history of the world who has never once taken your eyes off your children even for a second. Because that is all it takes. The part of the brain that considers consequences isn't fully developed until your 20's so "careful" to a 2 yr old doesn't exactly mean the same thing.:)

So just smile and nod your head, say thank you and possibly add your own concerned advice, like, "sir, your zipper is down".:):)

I have the hardest time with people who have worked with children but never had children of their own. When I am changing my kids at the pool, if I put my daughter down in the playpen and go to get her clothes and she cries, people will either come and yell/swear at me or mutter under their breath, "that poor baby just wants her mommy".

People out here are just the same! I have done the same thing when she was sleeping, laid he down and used her hood as a pillow. Nobody said anything, but idk if they were staring. I dont really look at other people when I go out just because here if I do its like they think Im either asking them their opinion of something (that Im not) or they just think its rude to stare, as they just were! Lol

I have no problem with strangers in general. Some of them can be fairly nice. Some of them can make a comment and end up actually having a conversation with them. It's the ones who in passing, make a snarky or sarcastic comment who don't need to stick their two cents in, IMO.

Bonnie, you're missing my point. I am just saying that we should all be a little more grateful that strangers care about the well being of our children! I pray that if something ever happened to my child, it would be one of those nosey strangers that finds him and not some psycho!!!

You hear people complain about how society is going down hill and not caring. Then when people show genuine concern about a child's safety, everyone gets defensive and says people need to mind their own buisness.

I am just saying that I would be far more concerned if someone was encouraging my child to get hurt! lol

And I am sorry, but telling a 2 year old boy to be careful is like asking a bull to pretend to be a kitten. They might just do it, but the chances are slim! I have a 4 year old boy, I have been and still go through it! lol

My son is one of "those" people...lol. The other day in the store, a baby was crying. And he said, quite loudly, "Mommy, why doesn't somebody make that baby stop crying? It's hurting my ears."And I must say, I laughed a little bit. Then I told him that sometimes babies just cry. He said, "For no reason?" I told him that yes, they cry for no reason sometimes.

Then he looked at the mom with the baby and said, "If I make funny faces for her will she laugh?" And the mom started giggling as did most of the people around us.

Other than that, I've never had anybody do that in a store. It does bother me when older people are coughing into their hands and then trying to touch my kid. That happens to me a lot.

Sarah, I honestly don't know why people would come out and say, "why don't you get up and jump outta the cart?" Yeah that would be very ignorant to have someone say that if they would.I am not offended. It's just that I can see what he is doing as I am his mother right in front of him pushing the cart and I have told him to be careful. To me stating the obvious is just irritating. Hence why I am venting about this.

I would be much more offended if people were encouraging my child to get hurt. Like "what are you doing sitting down little guy?! Why don't you get up and jump outta the cart?!"I think they are just trying to state the obvious (that standing in a cart is DANGEROUS) because some people don't seem to understand that.

Or when a child takes a fit and people automatically assume it is because they are tired and need a nap. That isn't always the case. It could be because they are not getting their way or maybe they want in the cart or out of the cart.

One time I was putting my baby in child seat in the shopping trolley and I had one of those covers you put in to cushion it a bit and mostly protect from all the germs the other kids have left on there and some man comes up and tells me I am making my boy soft and then carries on about will I let him climb trees when he is older... WTF?? I said "what-ever" and walked away.

Oh and my baby always looked tired when he was young (because he always was) I swear to god every single time we went anywhere everyone would be telling me he was tired.. No Shit, really??? Gee thanks!!

LOL i find the older people were i live are generally better about it then the parenst with kids the same age as mine, They usually look at me like " see my kids... why aren't yours the same way?" Drives me bonkers.

Oh that reminds me Emma, sometimes waiting in line I hear people complaining about a child that is throwing a tantrum and they yell out, "I didn't come shopping to hear kids take a fit." It makes me laugh sometimes. What do they expect to happen in a busy store or mall.

Haha no one ever says stuff to me but I find it hilarious when someone's kid is throwing a tanty and old people in the express line are going "that kid needs a floggin... back in MY day blah blah blah"

I agree people shouldn't butt in to your buisness. However i have actually seen a mother put her 2 year old in the basket part, and then i watched that child fall out just a few minutes later. 911 had to be called, and he ended up having a concussion. Now im not saying you don't watch your child . But i do think that if a parent takes their eyes off of their small child while he is not restrained, that it is my duty as a parent and citizen to ask him to sit down if i feel he is in any danger of falling out(or to point it out to the parent) And since that accident i don't hesitate to say it at all, regardless wether it's not my buisness. What the lady said about your child being uncomfortable was uncalled for. That is not her buisness at all, and in that case she should mind her own!

Yea i get these comments also but im very loud and outspoken so i always say things back! Like one time we were at walmart and my son wanted an expensive toy (well too much for me to get at the time) and he started crying for it and i said "Mommy said NO Jayden we can get a movie or a book tho" and this lady said OH he just wants a toy mommy should give you it shouldn't she?? I looked at her and said Are you going to give me money to buy this toy for him?, If not i suggest you keep you comments to yourself!

It drives me nuts when my 11 month old daughter starts to whine in the store because she wants out of the cart and people walk by and make comments about how she's tired or hungry. I want to tell them to mind your own business because you aren't even right! I also hate when people see my daughter has a rattle and they have to walk up and shake it in her face which pisses her off so she cries, then they say how I should get her home because she's cranky!