Saturday, July 21, 2012

Almost a Year!

Well it's taken me almost a year, but according to my stats page, I have gotten just over 2,000 hits to my blog. While that's a heck of a lot more hits than "zero," I won't pretend to think I'm on my way to total blogger legitimacy yet.

But soon. Maybe.

As you might recall, I predicted my lack of internet fame with AMAZING accuracy. Let's go back and check out if what was holding me back last year is still holding me back!

Ok, let's check out reason number one. Dani from the past writes:

1. I am absolutely horrible at staying up late. I mean, I often go to bed around 10 each night, except on special occasions, and then I go to sleep as late as 11! I think there is a connection between being a night owl and having the creativity needed to be a famous blogger. I sadly do not seem to have this connection.

Dani from the future says:

My bedtime is one of the most consistent elements in my entire life. I still go to bed around 10 each night, so I have not yet developed that "night owl" element that I seem to think is holding me back. However, there is hope! I will soon (well, in about two months) have a potentially constantly-squalling little spawn to help shake up my bedtime routine in a way that is practically guaranteed to make me expel creativity from all of my pores!

Sounds good. Dani from the past has another reason why I am not famous. Let's check it out:

2. I am good at many things but not excellent at one thing. Famous bloggers? They got there because they can do something (or a couple somethings) really dang well. I can sew a little; I can write and draw a little; I can take care of animals reasonably well; I can bake a tasty cake - but I don't excel at any of these, so while I'm sure I can offer a tip or two, I don't have the expertise to really shine amidst those who do.

Dani from the future says:

Yeah, still true. In the past year, I think the only thing I've truly excelled at is being pregnant. According to the internet and other trusted sources, I think I'm doing pretty dang good on the "not being a sick, throwing-up hormonal mess for nine months" front. However, I'm not sure how this is a marketable skill besides sparing my husband from having to deal with large quantities of puke.

Oh wait, past Dani has something else to say:

2.1 (As a counter point - I do excel at one thing: writing really, really long sentences because I'm a huge fan of semi colons and I hate using periods. But I'm not sure that there's an audience for people who like writing really long sentences for fun.)

Hm. Well. I mean, I do still like really long sentences. But I'm still pretty sure there's no audience for that. Tell me more, past Dani!

3. I don't have a good camera. Famous bloggers tend to have pictures on their blog. I'm either going to have to learn to draw better or find a new cheap camera, because my current one only takes clear pictures at noon with all of the lights on and even then, preferably with the object I want to take a picture of on fire.

Oh boy. Not only have I stopped drawing pictures almost completely for my blog, I've actually received a camera - as a gift all the way back during CHRISTMAS - and I don't think I've used it to post a picture yet. Well, this is awkward, because this is the one point that I have actively done worse in. Definitely not a recipe for internet success.

I do have a new excuse though! My computer, which my dad kindly built for me in the dinosaur ages (about the time I went to college, I believe), is beginning to show its age. When I try to draw in photoshop, my computer often protests. For example, I'll try to draw a curved line. Photoshop will disagree that I want to draw a curved line, and it will "fix" my drawing by rending that line as a straight line across the page. So there's that.

Well, rest assured Past Dani, I am working hard (sometimes) to continue my journey towards internet fame. Who knows? If I work hard enough, I might even get three thousand hits by next year! And then the sky's the limit!

Or maybe not. I mean, I heard it's hard to breathe up in those higher altitudes. We'll see.