Saturday, February 25, 2012

I'm in the process of putting together a company and I'm looking for 200 investors looking to invest $50,000 each to turn algae into gasoline.

Of course, your first response might be. What the hell does Gordon know about algae and gasoline?

The answer.....nothing.

But who really needs to know anything about alternative energy to actually make money off of it.

I'm looking to use the Solyndra business plan for turning green into green.

First, we take the $10,000,000 in our original investment and hire a chemistry professor from Urbana State Community College who can testify to the feds as to the energy potential for algae.

Second, we use a million or so to rent an empty commercial building and fill it with some temporary staging (lots of beakers, test tubes and centrifuges) so it looks like a great place to do all our research.

Third, we use about five million to fund various super pacs and host several fund raisers for the Obamunists achieving "bundler" status.

Fourth, we invite Joe Biden over to do a speech where he offends Indians, 49er fans, Catholics, etc.

Fifth, we apply for 150 million in loan guarantees and grants.

Sixth, when we get said funding, we tip the limo driver outside the office and call it a day.

Seventh, file bankruptcy.

Let me know if you're in.

If that doesn't work for you, I'm thinking of setting up a subsidiary where we can fuel cars with Obama magic beans. I'm telling you........... the possibilities are endless.

I've never understood the left's aversion to teaching abstinence to our youth as it pertains to sex.

Especially, when they're so gung ho about teaching abstinence for nearly everything else in life........... smoking, drinking, turkey and cheese sandwiches for lunch.

Do you think we'd be preaching abstaining from deodorant if wearing deodorant if the health impacts included increased risk of gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, HIV/AIDS, not to mention the future of any children you may have from an unwanted pregnancy.

Oh, I forgot what about HEP C...........

A new study indicates that one in every 33 baby boomers has the Hepatitis C virus, and many don’t even know they have this liver destroying disease.

Federal health officials say Hepatitis C is now killing more people than the AIDS virus, and most are over 45 years of age.

Dr. Robert Bettiker, associate professor of medicine in infectious diseases at Temple University School of Medicine, says that once symptoms appear, the liver is already damaged.

So just go out and keep screwing your brains out. It's so good for you. Now put away that bag of chips.

“Oil extracted from the Wildlife Refuge would not reach refineries for seven to ten years and would never satisfy more than two percent of our nation’s oil demands at any one time.” — Senator Maria Cantwell (D., Wash.), April 17, 2002.

“It would take years and years of development” to generate any supply. — Vice President Al Gore, September 30, 2000. He preferred releasing oil from the Strategic Petroleum Reserve instead.

I'm about a month into tax season and I'm still amazed at the transformation of my tax practice. My practice has transformed from a tax planning/reduction practice to a quasi welfare satelitte office.

Today I had to explain to a guy who made $30,000 in self employment income (no taxes withheld, including social security) why he didn't get a refund on his return.

In the past, it was easy. You can't get back what you didn't pay in the first place. Now, it's a lot harder since a difference of $10,000 in income can result in a $6000 swing on a return. How do explain that to someone?

But it gets better. How do you explain to a roofing supervisor that he owes money to support the two part time derelicts who are getting multiple thousands of dollars in refunds for knocking up a ho and not getting married?

Or to the guy who's ball busting a living so he can support his neighbor who's capable of coaching little league and pee wee football but is getting disability income because he "can't" work.............

Unemployment is down, according to the official numbers, yet more people than ever are not working. What are they doing instead? The New York Post reports that an astonishing number of them are classifying themselves as disabled in order to continue receiving government benefits:

Mental-illness claims, in particular, are surging. During the recent economic boom, only 33 percent of applicants were claiming mental illness, but that figure has jumped to 43 percent, says Rutledge, citing preliminary results from his latest research. …

That last statistic is remarkable: a quarter of those who are dropping out of the job market, and hence out of the unemployment statistics, are going on disability instead. Disability, unlike unemployment benefits, will most likely go on forever.

Because for years, I've proclaimed that most agencies designed to regulate businesses actually end up becoming lobbying agencies for the industries they oversee.

Think about it, if I have a job overseeing the trucking industry, do I move up the government scrotum pole faster if the trucking industry is kicking ass or failing?

Here's a real life example..............

Federal inspectors knew of serious food safety violations at a Washington state fruit processing plant. It seemed like the kind of thing that the United States Department of Agriculture would jump on. But that’s not what happened.

Government whistleblowers tell the KING 5 Investigators that the agency was more concerned about the money Snokist was generating for the USDA than the safety of the citizens it serves.

“I think it’s pretty poor,” said Wendy Alguard, the USDA’s former inspector assigned to Snokist. “All (the USDA) is out to do is try and make money, instead of doing what their original job is, being concerned about the product and the safety of people,” said Alguard.