May 4, 2010

I don't care one WHIT that it's an inanimate object

Dear Endless Adventures Tikes Town That Jake Got for His Birthday,

I rebuke you and your 137 screws of varying sizes, your four "equal" sides that supposedly snap together AND STAY TOGETHER, your 16 sheets of photo-realistic sticky-sticky-STICKY stickers that stick to parts they don't belong to, your soccer net that barely stretches to fit the hole and is missing one of the necessary grommets thereby rendering the drawing with 24 holes shown absolutely useless to me because it only has 23 holes, OH YES, I rebuke you.

And to the three extra-smallest screws that fell far into the crevices of my grass that's too tall because of all the rain we've had and got lost in crannies where floodlights do not shine, I rebuke YOU in the name of the Holy Spirit.

And WATCH OUT, two dark-brown plastic pieces of roof that are each as tall as I am, and the fake gas pump you rode in on: I'm coming for you.

Until we meet again tomorrow evening with 28 minutes of daylight left,
Katherine