A recent article by Naomi Schaefer Riley in the New York Post features the lack of parental confidence in a child’s ability to be responsible for their own security as a type of schizophrenia that looks something like this: little girls are wearing sexy Halloween costumes while college students are calling parents daily to make basic decisions about class courses and campus life. The article points to an “amorphous fear” of a culture that is not geared toward protecting children.

A recent article in the Setonian features the dangers of texting while walking on campus, including bumping into walls and other people, tripping and falling and walking into oncoming traffic. In this way, with the advent of mobile connectivity, I have learned that being present is something that we take for granted, as if it is some kind of an effortless thing when indeed it is not. And the more we experience the impact of mobile connectivity seemingly omnipresent in every device, room, gathering and relationship – well, it frankly, becomes more difficult to simply be present and give one another undivided attention, much less pay attention to our surroundings while traveling by foot or from behind the wheel.

While the drive to fit in and feel connected is prominent during adolescent years anyway, this drive is intensified and can be used against them in very powerful ways with mobile devices and apps like Twitter, Instagram and SnapChat. Cooper Anderson sums up beautifully how being 13 is different today with social media: “There are so many more witnesses.” When we aim to have a relationship with a crowd, our life focus centers on pleasing people which inspires great anxiety. The simple truth is that self worth is first realized from within and then expressed outwardly; it is that inner knowing that we were created uniquely for a purpose that cannot be found by consulting the crowd or measured in worldly terms (sex, approval ratings, and money)...

It is the politics of parenthood.
When a child does something wonderful, good or amazing, we exalt the parents and proclaim there must have been excellent parenting skill involved. Or if a child does something in appropriate, depraved or horrific, we immediately jump to the conclusion that the parents did a poor job...

2015 February monthly Round Up

A recent MSN report featured a newly released study about how parents who tell their children that they are more special than other children demonstrate narcissistic tendencies, whereas children whose parents expressed how much they are loved by the parent developed high self-esteem.

I understand narcissism to be an anti-social mindset that is characterized by excessive love or desire for self that puts oneself in the center of …

Indeed relating to the modern child, (who is more worldly and empowered by the feeling of validation in a tap-and-click world), requires more proactive thought, reflection and conviction about your personal worldview. In generations past, the social norms for civilized conduct and compassion for fellow human beings were generally supported by the wider community norms and children were socialized at home and school accordingly. Today, the modern culture of entitlement amplified by internet-powered connectivity blurs the boundaries for personal responsibility and security.

According to a recent NPR report, parents and adult children are living in the same home as the milennial and the baby boomer generations are making choices that resemble an extended family. In my view, the idea of the modern young adult returning home to live with parents after college is a natural consequence of 1) socio-economic trends wherein their first jobs may not sustain a new household and college debt, and 2) a renewed parent-child bond emerging from a cyber-powered generation.

The pursuit of truth is difficult when emotions are high and this is especially true in the social network. Cyber-powered connectivity can intensify the temptation to rush to judgment without all the facts and it is difficult to maintain a perspective informed by the aim to pursue justice before the pursuit of truth has even begun...

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The objective of Banana Moments (click here to receive updates) is to help parents rise above the noise and the fray of the daily, weekly, monthly press of information and life’s stresses of family business. Banana Moments offers insights and inspiration to reinforce your own family values and help you lead children in this network culture that pressures all of us with things that don’t really matter and are largely not true.

About Joanna Jullien

Joanna (jullien@surewest.net) and her husband have raised two sons in Roseville, CA. She has a degree from U.C. Berkeley in Social Anthropology (corporate culture). Her honors thesis was awarded the Kroeber Prize and funding from National Science Foundation grant. Joanna writes to help parents with the modern-day leadership challenges of raising children. She is a contributing writer for The Granite Bay View, the Press Tribune, the Sacramento Examiner, and editor of Banana Moments.