Wednesday, August 19, 2009

DON'T SPEAK OF PROMISES AND FAIRY TALES IF YOU YOURSELF CAN'T KEEP YOURS. YOU TREAT PEOPLE AS CHARACTERS IN YOUR WORLD. TIME TO WAKE UP.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Sometime Somewhere

We speak but the words we say mean nothing. We smile but the smiles we give are wanting. We look upon each other's eyes, no spark No glow, no real signs, but we both know This is all for show

Until that sometime, somewhere, We could show the world we have each other Sometime, somewhere we need not hide out feelings, We just keep on believing that we both have the time together Sometime and somewhere, our lips would be free at last You say the words we've hungered to say

And we won't have to worry, we smile we won't say sorry One look and we have cast our fears aside.

Sometime, that sometime will turn to forever, for all time. Somewhere, our somewhere would not be just one place, But everywhere

Until that sometime, somewhere, We just have to be content with stealing glances Somehow, content with saying nothing, smiles that are Always wanting. Though deep inside it hurts Because we know that our love, like love, Is what it is, it's what we got

It’s been a while since the last time I saw any member of my family. Well, it wouldn’t be called broken if we’re together. This morning I got a message from my sister, “Dad is having a heart surgery now.” I felt sad. A couple of days ago, we were exchanging messages, asking me how I was. My usual answer is, “Ok lang, surviving.” But there is another reason why I felt sad. I wasn’t feeling anything towards the situation. I felt like I was the most ungrateful son and the numbest person in the world to not feel anything.

There has to be a reason why. I started looking and recollecting childhood memories with my dad….I couldn’t remember any. I cried, for the things I remembered were just haunting memories in the past and it felt bad not having the courage to see him. I’ve asked myself, “Bakit kung kelan nagkaayos na kami and now that he understood how I feel, bakit ngayon pa ako hindi naging ready.” The only thing that gives me peace right now is the thought that he understands. I have never been so peaceful just knowing that he understands. I ended up sending him messages after the operation, “Dad, I’m sorry if I wasn’t able to come now….but I’m praying hard for you and I’ll come visit you soon. Thank you for understanding my decision. Thank you for knowing what I have been going through. Mahal ko po kayo.” Ayun bumaha na ng luha sa unit ko. Parang isang libong drama episodes ang napanood ko to have cried all day.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Of Flu and Movie Reviews

Finally, I am back writing after being bed ridden for a couple of days because of flu. I figured I don’t want my weekend to be dull just because I’m sick so I ended up watching films and reviewing them.

Film 1: Slum dog Millionaire

A story of a guy, Jamal, who grew up in the slums whose childhood memories led him to win in the reality game show Who Wants To Be a Millionaire?

The film was told in such a way that it shows the viewers a story between time – the current and a flashback within a flashback. The lead was interrogated by the police officer because he was accused of cheating in the game show. Within this timeframe the boy recalls his experience in the show and again recalls the past – losing his mother, working for a syndicate, meeting the love of his life, and finally becoming a millionaire. The film tackled a couple of relevant issues existing not only in Mumbai but all across the world. This, I think what made it a good film. At one point, I pondered at destiny that maybe it was really a person’s destiny after all. What I didn’t like in the film though, is the missing part – What did the character do to the host who accused him and had him tortured? I just don’t see the connection of using the winning moment to cover up such injustice.

Film 2: MILK

I cried watching this film because I can feel the character played by Sean Penn - Harvey Milk, the first gay man to be elected in office.

The film had a lot of information to offer. It had a good portrayal of a period in gay history. It depicted the era when the March started. It was successful in depicting how people struggled to fight for gay rights and somehow eliminate discrimination. It felt human to expose Milk as a normal gay guy and just like past presidents, he too was assassinated.

There was one part in the film that made me think. As a gay guy, what have I contributed and what do I plan to accomplish at my age? I think everyone regardless of gender goes through the decision making of what direction to take, what contribution they can leave and how they would be remembered.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Appreciating Life

This morning i just stopped working and had random thoughts of life and what lies ahead. I've been busy lately and missed to appreciate things that I have. So i am listing here the things that I am thankful for....

Thank you for letting me see the sun rise and letting me hope for tomorrow.