The enormity of a small business

I'll admit, this wasn't what I was going to write today, but sometimes it just hits me... The Demi Dressage Facebook page hit 1800 'likes' today. Eighteen hundred people have found and liked a page I started from scratch from one wacky idea in the middle of the night....

I sit at home, surrounded by orange envelopes, rainbow rosettes and colourful stickers (not to mention boxes of sweets it's a constant battle of willpower not to eat - the struggle is real people...!! ;) ) I'm crammed into this tiny desk juggling all these things, juggling my 'normal' life - which let's face it, thanks to various circumstances, hasn't seen the business side of an employment opportunity for several years now - and the enormity hits me. I honestly never thought this is something I would do. Run my own business? Yeah, that's for people far bigger, far better, far more... I don't know, far more 'something' than I ever thought I could be, anyway. And yet here I am. I own a business. It's a tiny business, true. And it isn't what puts food on our table or a roof over our heads, so maybe it isn't all that important in the grand scheme of things. But it's mine. And 1800 people have been a part of that journey. And I love it.

It's hard work, sure. It's been a learning curve steeper than I ever imagined. Because it's just me. There's no budget to have a social media manager, or a website provider, or an admin assistant. Or - shudders - an accountant. It's just me. I'm learning as I go. I feel out of my depth more often than not! As more and more people find my page, find my website, find ME... all these strangers, all these wonderful people who are taking a punt on a dream... it scares me. I've put my heart and soul into this, and I love it. But what if other people don't? What if what I'm doing... simply isn't enough?

I guess many of us will have these doubts every day. As a mum I do. As a business owner, it's a whole new ball game because it's not just you at home any more, doing your thing as best you can, making mistakes but surrounded by people who love you. In business it's open to the whole world, and you can do the best you can but still not be enough. And honestly, the more people that find my page, the more that feeling grows.

But I still love it. And I love that 1800 people are out there loving it too.

There's a saying 'If your dreams don't scare you, they're not big enough'. Well this is a dream for me. And it scares me every day. So I think that means I'm winning?!