Guido Fawkes: Plots, rumours and conspiracy

A TRIAL scheme to give MPs iPads courtesy of the taxpayer was justified on the basis that expenses for printing costs would be slashed. Guido has found out that during the trial the cost of a single MP’s shiny new iPad and mobile was an absurdly high £225 per month, compared with the £48 unlimited deal available on the high street. At that rate, if all 650 MPs claim, it will be over £2million-a-year spent on iPads. That’s a hell of a lot of printing…

AS the Euro’s problems drag Europe towards disaster, its old cheerleaders should keep a dignified silence. The guiltiest of all were Britain In Europe, a cross-party campaign formed back in the 90s which called for Britain to join. Instead of licking their wounds, the old campaigners met for a reunion last week in The Belgravia pub in London. Guido hears Lib Dem Chief Secretary to the Treasury Danny Alexander the group’s young press officer before becoming an MP, popped in to see old friends. Given his judgment was so wrong back then, what hope is there now he’s holding the Exchequer’s purse strings?

THE Leveson Inquiry into the media is pencilled in to cost almost £6million by the time the judge reports in October. Guido wonders if the exercise really represents value for money. Leveson and his team spent hours on Friday afternoon in posh ’n’ pricy London fish eatery Sheekey’s celebrating the judge’s 63rd birthday. The wine flowed and lunch went on late. Given that he is estimated to be taking home almost half-a-million pounds of taxpayers’ money at £600 an hour for asking questions, Guido hopes Mr Robert Jay QC, Leveson’s chief interrogator, picked up the tab.

DESPITE the Bill passing through Parliament, Labour is still fighting against NHS reforms. It says urgent treatments previously available on the service have now been axed. Apparently “treatment for erectile dysfunction (including penile implants)” has been snipped and the Shadow Health Secretary wants the Government to end this “knob job” injustice. Is this a rising concern for Andy Burnham or just opposition for opposition’s sake?

EDUCATION Secretary Michael Gove is making waves again. Recently he was demanding schoolkids should be able to recite poetry by heart and last week his leaked plans to bring back O-levels caused a rift at the heart of the Coalition. The Lib Dems are fuming at being left out of discussions, although their hapless Downing Street spinner Olly Grender tried to play down the arguments – in verse. Responding to an allegation from journalist Tim Shipman that “Grender went on a bender about the Gove agenda”, Nick Clegg’s spin doctor replied: “Shipman’s written fi ction about the Gove friction.” Perhaps some common ground with Gove can be found after all…

OVER-PROMOTED newbie Rachel Reeves is one of Labour’s “rising stars” – the young MPs who seem to be locked in a competition to appear in the media commenting about anything and everything without rhyme or reason. Speaking to local radio about buses on Friday, Reeves quoted travel costs in London and the Oyster card scheme. All very interesting, except she was on the radio in her native Leeds.

BEFORE the tournament, the Government declared it would be boycotting Euro 2012 in Ukraine in protest at the imprisonment of former Prime Minister Yulia Tymoshenko. Now things are getting exciting, officials seem to be U-turning. Apparently, it would be more effective for ministers to travel to Kiev to lobby the Ukrainian President directly. If only they had said so before England had booked tonight’s quarter-final showdown with Italy, this new plan might be more believable.

FAIR play to Laurence Robertson, the 54-year-old Conservative MP for Tewkesbury. He’s declared that he employs, at our expense, his wife Susan as senior secretary and his girlfriend, the younger, blonder Anne Adams, as his office manager. Must make meetings very, very interesting.