Sunday, November 01, 2009

How can you tell if Michelle Obama is wearing a Halloween costume?

I have to admit that when I saw the photos of the White House Halloween party I thought that Emperor Obama and his consort Michelle had decided to skip the costumes. Emperor Barack looked like Urkel as usual and Michelle was wearing something that looked like it was looted from a Salvation Army store as usual.

Boy, was I shocked to find out that Michelle's outfit was really a "Cat Woman" costume!

Therefore, to prevent further mistakes of this type I consulted with the Country Store's crack team of fashion consultants and came up with this handy guide to whether or not Michelle Obama is wearing a Halloween costume.

Q: Does Michelle Obama's outfit vaguely resemble the skin of a wild animal?

If the answer is yes, then Michelle is wearing a Halloween costume.

Q: Is Michelle Obama wearing something that looks like it was made out of Nick Nolte's old Hawaiian shirt?

If the answer is yes, then Michelle is wearing one of her high fashion outfits.

Q: Is Michele Obama wearing something that looks like the couch your aunt had back in the 1970's?

If so, then it it is another of Michelle's regular outfits.

Q: Does Michelle Obama look like Flip Wilson when he was dressed up as Geraldine?

This is another indication Michelle is wearing a haute couture outfit some con artist designer sold her and it is not a Halloween costume

Q: Is Michelle Obama wearing a very wide belt just under her negligible bust and twirling a hula hoop?

Hey, the wide belt is a primo fashion accessory and like Michelle you have to have no chest (or be a cross dresser) to wear it so it is plenty exclusive and NOT a Halloween costume no matter what it looks like.

Whew! That was sure exhaustive and I thank my fashion consultants, but I'm still not convinced that I won't make the same mistake again. Maybe next year Michelle can just go for the Joker clown make-up at Halloween: