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Sunday, June 14, 2015

S.M.U.D.G.E.: Not Quite As Dumb As A Bag Of Hammers ...

S.M.U.D.G.E.: Even their logo is dippy.

One of the things we knew about S.M.U.D.G.E. (Scientific Modification Using Digital Genetic Enhancements) from the very start? They're sketchy as all get out.

And that's not just the general consensus of just The Unbelievables. That's coming from governments and other agencies world-wide, both local and international: FBI, MI5, Scotland Yard, The Christmas Island 3 1/2, The Girl Scouts of America, The Harlem Globetrotters, more. Their methodologies are not only heinous but questionable.

And The Unbelievables have first-hand experience knowledge about the organization as it turns out.

Something not generally known was the hoopla surrounding the inclusion of none other than George Takei into our little band of suave gentlemen. Long ago, S.M.U.D.G.E. infiltrated our ranks behind our backs. Remember the "Flared Jean Funk" case detailed back in January of last year? Where George Takei himself sought what it took to become a member of our ranks? As it turned out (it was something we didn't reveal to the general public at the time for rather obvious reasons) George was coerced by S.M.U.D.G.E. in an attempt to "get inside." How did S.M.U.D.G.E. do it? Just like this:

Working their so-called genetic mutation "magic" they took the real George Takei ...

... and melded his DNA with the head honcho alien from Close Encounters Of The Third Kind ...

Yeah, I know. Weird.

The result?

A "reasonable"
(in their estimation) facsimile of George Takei ... which doesn't really
make sense. (Actually, it's not a bad likeness. But ... they already had
George, in the flesh brain-washed with their evil ways. They didn't
need to clone a copy of him to try to weasel into our ranks.)

See what we mean? S.M.U.D.G.E.'s modus operandi is suspect and shaky right from the get-go. And that
was and still is their undoing: Coming up with stuff that simply
doesn't make sense. They have the tendency to come up with a perfect
plan then tweak it in the weirdest way. Head-scratching to be sure.

But what really
made the floor drop out from underneath them as legitimate bad guys was
when they tried convincing the America public Mel Gibson was the
inspiration for fast food giant Burger King's "The King" mascot:

You no doubt remember all the controversy that erupted on television and airwaves and office water coolers nation-wide over that one ... right?

What? You don't remember?

That's because there wasn't any controversy. Not one whit, not a hint.

It was a sham from the very start and it died a quick death. Not even Mel himself knew about it. He finally found out word of the scam years later. (And if it takes that long for word to come 'round, it doesn't bode well for your evil ne'er-do-well R&D department, if you know what I mean.

Thus, S.M.U.D.G.E. isn't much of an organization which knows how to pull the trigger and capitalize on its threats ...

P.P.S. The quick among you will have noticed this particular post debuted on Sunday (rather than the usual Friday) as a wrap-up. The reason? Unbelieva-Babe fraternization. I don't think any more need be said ...