It's a flawed mentality if you ask me, I've got 2 friends, the girls asked them out. Few years now they're still going strong. It's in Africa these things are made a case out of.

If we should go by the African mentality then the guys must also have a hand in us making such decision. I'd advise you don't tell your sis to try such, whether you see it as an African mentality or Westernized one. "Had I known" will be her case.

tosyne2much: I think that's when age and maturity come in place. You can never see a MATURED lady folding her arms or die in silence when a guy she has been fantasizing about refuses to make the first approach. These ladies know the tactics they normally use to trap men down and will still earn respect in the sight of these men. They know there's a point in their lives when they need to swallow their ego just to get what they really want. Only KIDS want to enjoy those fantasies of HE MUST TOAST ME or I rather die in silence.

So my brother, no matter how much you try to convince these ladies, they will only make you feel like you know nothing

The brings me to the conclusion that, there's a wife difference between a woman and a girl

You are absolutely right, I can actually see that now.... Toasted at all cost OR no dating.

There is no such thing as a YES or NO question... Just because I can't date her, doesn't mean we cant be sociable and friends. What kind of man even answers YES or NO?

So a babe asks you out, so you say YES and stand there like a dummy with a grin on your face (as if you just passed an exam)?!I understand your point man, just felt you are gonna talk for too long saying all those, still on still, it's nice to make your point known and understood even with an epistle, so we good.

tosyne2much: I think that's when age and maturity come in place. You can never see a MATURED lady folding her arms or die in silence when a guy she has been fantasizing about refuses to make the first approach. These ladies know the tactics they normally use to trap men down and will still earn respect in the sight of these men. They know there's a point in their lives when they need to swallow their ego just to get what they really want. Only KIDS want to enjoy those fantasies of HE MUST TOAST ME or I rather die in silence.

So my brother, no matter how much you try to convince these ladies, they will only make you feel like you know nothing

The brings me to the conclusion that, there's a wife difference between a woman and a girl

Benita27:If we should go by the African mentality then the guys must also have a hand in us making such decision. I'd advise you don't tell your sis to try such, whether you see it as an African mentality or Westernized one. "Had I known" will be her case.

There is no such thing as a YES or NO question... Just because I can't date her, doesn't mean we cant be sociable and friends. What kind of man even answers YES or NO?

So a babe asks you out, so you say YES and stand there like a dummy with a grin on your face (as if you just passed an exam)?!Haba!

Sometimes you have to go for what you believe.... Maybe the dude is shy, insecure etc who knows?! But then, if it doesn't happen, and you KNOW this guy is "it", you would do absolutely nothing?! If that is the case then yes, your ego is in the way of your happiness... Such that you couldn't even be the bigger person and ask him out. Your fear of being rejected is in the way. Indeed very sad because you would be missing on so many fantastic things in life.

If he's shy or insecure then he's obviously not my type of man. I like those with self-confidence and outspoken. Second case, there's nothing to be sad about 'cause if one door closes, another opens. That's how I view life.

@austyn0You gotta put yourself in that woman's shoes and understand that she made such a huge effort to come over and ask you out. so whether you wanna date her or not, you gotta defuse the whole situation, and come up with something better than just YES or NO.

A NO would be so painful to that woman, then she will instantly turn into Benita27, lol.

MrBrownJay1:@austyn0You gotta put yourself in that woman's shoes and understand that she made such a huge effort to come over and ask you out. so whether you wanna date her or not, you gotta defuse the whole situation, and come up with something better than just YES or NO.

A NO would be so painful to that woman, then she will instantly turn into Benita27, lol.

tosyne2much: What reply do you expect from ladies who are still living in fantasies and those who are still enjoying the chase they're getting from random guys?

Throw this same question to matured ladies and you will be astonished towards their replies

Yeah...a fantasy world in their mind, and the chase gets their egos so pumped up to the point they would rather lose the guy than make a move. They have such a high sense of self (way too high IMHO) that they can't even come to the dude's "level". Haba!

teesmarth:
Nothing is strange under the clouds of this earth dear.
The world is much bigger than the way you perceive it.
The first lady that asked me out was great and beautiful.
Anyway I cant say i felt anything special about it.
Just normal.......no biggie.
I just had to give it some time before we hit it off

If you are in the western part of the world you are free to express your feelings as a lady to a man you desire but not here in Africa because you may fall in wrong hands of a man that may take advantage of you

teesmarth:
Nothing is strange under the clouds of this earth dear.
The world is much bigger than the way you perceive it.
The first lady that asked me out was great and beautiful.
Anyway I cant say i felt anything special about it.
Just normal.......no biggie.
I just had to give it some time before we hit it off

MrBrownJay1:@austyn0You gotta put yourself in that woman's shoes and understand that she made such a huge effort to come over and ask you out. so whether you wanna date her or not, you gotta defuse the whole situation, and come up with something better than just YES or NO.

A NO would be so painful to that woman, then she will instantly turn into Benit.a27, lol.

You no well oh, I needn't be rejected to know how some guys treat ladies who wooed them into a relationship. Even from the few relationship books have read, it's stated that men would rather hunt than be hunted.

Benita27:You no well oh, I needn't be rejected to know how some guys treat ladies who wooed them into a relationship. Even from the few relationship books have read, it's stated that men would rather hunt than be hunted.

Try reading "Why Men Love Bìtches" by Sherry Argov.

You've got a point, buh it still isn't an abomination to ask your ideal man out, it will only be a futile effort to the immature minds.