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A tentative handshake or inability to enjoy a boisterous hug should not make you feel socially inept, but how do you tell the world that?

Does a handshake affect how people perceive you? You bet it does. “Cold fish” is the old fashioned term used to describe a limp lifeless handshake and you can imagine what that says about you.

Everyone is expected to not only offer a hand but to shake hands correctly if they want to be taken seriously, but what if you can’t? Statistics tell us that 55% of people over 65 have arthritis, and hands are particularly vulnerable.

Does not having a strong grip mean that you are socially inept or lack confidence? I hope not, but at least know that you are not alone if an expected handshake makes you recoil.

The handshake is a cultural icon but not everyone can respond to this common courtesy. My friends with arthritis beg me to tell you that handshakes and bone jarring hugs are painful to them. Your enthusiasm is much appreciated, but try not to judge them if they cannot return the gesture.

How do you handle the situation? It gets tiresome always having to explain, but it may be the only way to head of an enthusiastic hug or handshake.

If a handshake is unavoidable try to grasp the other persons hand first to initiate the contact, or grasp their hand lightly in both of yours.

Social situations call for creativity. You can avoid handshakes by holding something in your right hand, or if you are stuck in a receiving line wear a splint of brace.

In casual situations perhaps a gentle fist bump or a high five will do. Human contact is important and it sends a lovely message, but it isn’t the whole picture.

Walking can be a risky business. Every two hours a pedestrian in America is involved in a traffic accident. Seniors are especially vulnerable because the consequences are so dire, but who is really at fault?

We blame distracted drivers and we blame poorly designed streets and roadways, but we can’t quite bring ourselves to blame distracted walkers. I agree with the article written by Brian Mockenhaupt (AARP Bulletin; December 2014) that said that the responsibility for pedestrian accidents is shared, almost equally, between drivers and pedestrians.

Pedestrians are the most vulnerable roadway users, and most of us are pedestrians. We walk our dogs, we run across the street to the mail box; we walk across parking lots to get to stores and we walk for the sheer joy of it.

It is easy to be over confident. Somewhere along the way we came to believe that pedestrians always have the right away, but do they? It is easy to chastise a driver for texting, talking, and changing radio stations, but we need to chastise distracted walkers as well.

Does this mean you shouldn’t walk? Of course it doesn’t. Walking is the easiest and most cost effective way to get from one place to another. Walking gives us an opportunity to get some exercise and to socialize with friends, but everyone needs to be mindful of what is going on around them. Start by:

Wearing bright colored clothing

Add reflection strips to clothing and carry a flashlight if you must walk at night. Keep in mind that visibility is poor and accident rates are highest between 6 p.m. and midnight.

Walk on the sidewalk or on a walking path when possible.

If walking on a roadway always face oncoming traffic. Make eye contact with motorists; be sure they see you.

Cross at crosswalks and wait for the walk signal. Smile and say “sorry” if a driver has to wait until you get across the street.

Pain or at least a certain degree of discomfort becomes a way of life for many seniors? They beseech their doctors to do “something” to make them feel better.

Doctors and researchers alike know that such a request is challenging to say the least, because every person experiences pain differently.

A recent article by Amy Dockser Marcus (Wall Street Journal-Tuesday, March 31, 2015) outlined a new scale. . The questionnaire evaluates how pain affects the ability to function on a daily basis. Instead of asking you to rate your pain on a numerical (1-10 basis) it will asks a series of questions. How would you respond to the question: In the last week how many times did pain prevent you from getting up to face your day? Were you able to get dressed, brush your teeth, prepare a meal, do household chores, go shopping or drive your car?

The questions made me think about the last time I went to the doctor complaining of pain. I told him my pain was maybe a 7, which at times it might have been, but was it really? I had been able to get up, hobble to the kitchen to make coffee, get dressed and drive to the doctor’s office on my own. On reflection I decided that maybe my pain was only 3 or possibly 4 at the very most. My doctor didn’t refute my assessment but I think he saw through me. He made an astute diagnosis and gave me practical (not related to pain medication) advice about what I should do to treat my problem. His assessment was better than mine and his treatment plan right on the spot.

Doctors, pain clinics, and other researchers are working to develop better assessments tools. Pain management has many facets and it requires a multidisciplinary approach ( physical activity, pain protocol interventions, and medications).

Assess your pain before you talk to your doctor and ask what you can do to make it better. Pain medication alone may threaten your ability to function independently.