Are you going to behave?

A father accidentally banged an oversized car cart into a grocery checkstand. The five-year-old boy inside was startled into tears. His dad, probably feeling embarrassed and guilty about upsetting his kid, sternly told the boy to stop crying. When the boy continued to cry with some outrage, the father demanded, “Are you going to behave?” What calmed the boy was his mother asking him if he was okay. He stopped crying and began talking about something else.

2 Comments

stephen
on November 8, 2015 at 4:04 am

Grocery stores have an ODD effect on children.. I’ve listened to kids go nuts, I’m thinking…is it the multitude of colors? The florescent lights hum? the MuZak system? ( which I would TOTALLY believe) I remember my nephew getting loud and crazed while we were in the Underground Seattle… everyone around me is getting uptight… I realized right away it was the cool echo effect he was playing with… (he was only about 4 or 5 or so..) He did something similar at the Corn Maze when he freaked out.. (theres NO horizon) If you are really in tune with the kid…you can usually figure it out… but I will admit I am NOT always “in tune”

Shawna
on November 19, 2015 at 4:41 pm

Thanks for this comment, Stephen. Grocery stores are hard for kids. There’s so much stuff to touch and buy. It must be a mental cacophony of chaos, especially for some young children. I think it’s also pretty boring, because there’s little kids can do there. They need to keep their hands off things, despite the colorful packaging calling to them and their curiosity about stuff. Often, parents are just trying to get done as quickly as possible, so they tend to have less patience or understanding of how it must feel to a child. I think kids also know when their parents’ focus is so removed from them, as it often is that kind of environment. The kids I see having the best time in grocery stores are those whose parents can be somewhat leisurely and attentive to their kids. Some get a fruit item or something small for the kid to munch on while they’re shopping. Kids who are interested tend to enjoy helping their parents get items off the shelves, even being sent with their own list to gather items.

I like your story about your nephew playing with echoes and being freaked out in a corn maze. You should pat yourself on the back for your insight into his experience. And yes, it’s impossible to always be “in tune.” I don’t think we should expect perfections from ourselves, but also give ourselves some slack and understanding and keep challenging ourselves to increase our capacity. We can also apologize when we react in a way that’s really off base with our kids. They don’t expect perfection either. They just want love and respect for their personhood.