Kaare Llumihttp://www.kaarellumi.com
A woman's musings on love, nonmonogamy, and communicationThu, 01 Mar 2018 17:50:26 +0000enhourly1https://wordpress.org/?v=4.9.45 Ways Tech Can Make A Terrible Internet Date Betterhttp://www.kaarellumi.com/5-ways-tech-can-make-a-terrible-internet-date-better/
Thu, 01 Mar 2018 17:49:39 +0000http://www.kaarellumi.com/?p=99Sometimes it seems like for every great internet date you go on, there’s five bad dates. I’ve been internet dating for over a year now, and while the good dates make it worthwhile, the bad ones can be pretty awful. But I’ve found a few ways that technology can help make a bad date better, or [...]

]]>Sometimes it seems like for every great internet date you go on, there’s five bad dates. I’ve been internet dating for over a year now, and while the good dates make it worthwhile, the bad ones can be pretty awful. But I’ve found a few ways that technology can help make a bad date better, or at least make it end faster. I also learned how to catch a cheater from the research I’ve done on this topic!

It’s always polite to finish a date, even if you know from the minute that you meet your date that it isn’t a match, and there won’t be a second date. But sometimes you end up dating someone so terrible you just have to get out.

Uber is a way to get out of a bad date, especially if you didn’t drive.

Instead of sticking out a bad date, excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, get on your phone, and get an Uber to get out of the situation. Find a back entrance or ask to use the employee entrance, so you can slip out without your date noticing. Just make sure that you leave some money to pay for any food or drinks that you had.

Text A Friend For Help

Did you set up an escape call or text before the date? If not, you might need to text a friend who can call you or text you and give you an excuse to leave. A quick text under the table or when your date goes to the bathroom can let a friend know that you need an escape text or call immediately. After your friend rescues you, set up a code for next time so you don’t have to waste time typing out a long text. I use a dog emoji with my friends as a code. If the date is terrible and I need out, I just text the emoji to a friend. They immediately know that my date is a dud, and I need a rescue. This is a good way to go too when you need to catch a cheater in your life. Friends help you with everything!

Get Some Conversation Starters

Running out of things to talk about with your date? When your date goes to the bathroom, hit up Google or a news app to get some fun or interesting conversation starters to get the conversation going again. Sometimes people are just nervous on dates and don’t really know what to say. Picking a current event or interesting story to talk about can turn a potentially bad date into a good date.

Arrange Another Date

If you think he’s not catch a cheater material, then you can always move to the next phase. But, when your date is a bad one from the start, you can hop on a dating app to set up another date. You already look great and are in the right dating mindset. Why not try to find a better date for the evening?

]]>Why You Need To Know Who You’re Datinghttp://www.kaarellumi.com/why-you-need-to-know-who-youre-dating/
Thu, 11 Jan 2018 20:38:03 +0000http://www.kaarellumi.com/?p=90Relationships and dating can be scary for a wide variety of reasons. But a lot of people don’t always think about how they can hinder their personal safety. They don’t remember to run a cell phone lookup on every person they go on a date with. And sometimes they don’t even consider that their date [...]

]]>Relationships and dating can be scary for a wide variety of reasons. But a lot of people don’t always think about how they can hinder their personal safety. They don’t remember to run a cell phone lookup on every person they go on a date with. And sometimes they don’t even consider that their date could be scamming them, especially if they’ve only talked online. Here’s why you need to know exactly who you’re in a relationship with.

You’ll Have More Trust In Each Other

No matter what kind of relationship you’re in, it never hurts to have more honest and open communication. Unless you fully trust each other, you’ll always come to some kind of roadblock. You won’t be able to fully connect with your partner. That’s why you need to know everything about who your partner is, and not just what you can find out with a cell phone lookup. Learning about everything from past partners to former jobs can help you get a better picture of who your significant other really is.

You’ll Feel Safe And Secure

You deserve to be in a relationship that makes you feel happy and safe.

We’ve all heard the sensationalist stories about online dating. And before online dating, there were all kinds of gruesome stories in the news about dates gone wrong. So it’s only natural to be at least a little worried. But in a relationship, you deserve to feel completely safe and secure with your partner. You shouldn’t have to run a cell phone lookup on your SO’s contacts to see if they’re cheating on you. In addition, you won’t have to worry that there’s some secret part of them that you won’t like. That’s because you’ll know who they are, where they came from, and what their goals for the future are. There should be no surprises.

But, how can you reach this level of intimacy with your partner? For most relationships, it’s something that develops over time. But you can always learn more by being involved in each other’s lives. Visit their old school with them, go to their family reunion, or share your childhood experiences. These can all help you learn about one another in ways that you wouldn’t on more typical dates, like dinner and a movie. Give these ideas a shot and see how they work for you, and your relationship. You might find that you don’t need a cell phone lookup tool to learn more about your boyfriend or girlfriend.

]]>Coldplay’s Most Popular Hit Songshttp://www.kaarellumi.com/coldplays-most-popular-hit-songs/
Tue, 12 Dec 2017 15:16:10 +0000http://www.kaarellumi.com/?p=84Coldplay is arguably the world’s most popular band right now. Though they’re still at the height of their success, they have been releasing albums and hit singles since the year 2000. Their career has spanned across almost two whole decades, and over time they’ve had several chart toppers throughout the world. Some of Coldplay’s best [...]

]]>Coldplay is arguably the world’s most popular band right now. Though they’re still at the height of their success, they have been releasing albums and hit singles since the year 2000. Their career has spanned across almost two whole decades, and over time they’ve had several chart toppers throughout the world. Some of Coldplay’s best songs have become anthems and favorites for listeners both young and old. Here’s a look at five of their most popular hits.
Coldplay always puts on a great live show.

Paradise (2012)

This hit was a massive success. Its sweeping strings and energetic synth bass, mixed with the band’s iconic driving drums and heartfelt piano lines, create a full and lively song that always has fans singing along. This mid-paced song is both energetic and anthemic.

Fix You (2005)

Originally written for Chris Martin’s ex-wife, Gwyneth Paltrow, after her dad passed away, this song is both emotionally stirring and catchy. With warm tones and soaring vocals, “Fix You” is a wonderful example of Coldplay’s ability to write relatable songs. This song has been used at several significant events, including Steve Jobs’ funeral.

Viva La Vida (2008)

This was the band’s first number one hit single in the UK and USA. It includes several Christian references and is full to the brim with bells, chimes, and catchy string arrangements. “Viva La Vida” has become one of Coldplay’s best songs and is still considered a highlight at the band’s live events. It was also the iTunes’ best-selling song of the year back in 2008.

Yellow (2000)

“Yellow” was Coldplay’s second single from their first album. Although it only reached number four on the UK singles chart, it was a catalytic moment in their career. This song was used in several promotions and gradually grew in popularity all over the world. Many longtime fans regard it as one of Coldplay’s best songs, and it never fails to remind listeners of how much their sound has evolved over the years.

A Sky Full of Stars (2014)

This collaboration with Avicii has become the band’s most iconic dance track. It features pulsing drums and bright, lively synth lines. “A Sky Full of Stars” appeared on Coldplay’s 6th studio album, where it stood out as a song shining with hope and optimism on an album that was otherwise reflective and somber.

It might seem like a strange choice to write about Coldplay on my blog. After all, I mainly focus on relationships (both traditional and unconventional). But I think a lot of people appreciate their music, and songs like “Fix You” describe some tough times people experience in relationships. Personally, I find their songs to be very beautiful and inspiring.

]]>Ways Your Relationship Can Negatively Affect Other Peoplehttp://www.kaarellumi.com/ways-your-relationship-can-affect-other-people/
Thu, 09 Nov 2017 20:49:55 +0000http://www.kaarellumi.com/?p=76We’ve all had experience with that one couple who couldn’t stand being around each other. It can make us feel anxious, uncomfortable, or upset. And in some cases, we might have been one of the guilty parties. Just like our words and actions can affect other people, so can our relationships. Whether you used Android [...]

]]>We’ve all had experience with that one couple who couldn’t stand being around each other. It can make us feel anxious, uncomfortable, or upset. And in some cases, we might have been one of the guilty parties. Just like our words and actions can affect other people, so can our relationships. Whether you used Android spy software to find out your spouse was cheating, or stayed too long with someone you despised, it’s important to understand how other people might view your relationship.

It Can Be A Burden

Perhaps the best example of this was an incident that just happened the other day. On a plane from Doha to Indonesia, a married couple caused a disturbance so severe that the flight had to be diverted. While he was sleeping, the wife unlocked her husband’s phone to discover that he had been cheating on her. She began to assault him and while the crew tried to diffuse the situation, the pilot made an emergency landing at the nearest airport. The couple was then escorted off the plane with their child.

Imagine having your flight delayed because of a couple like this.

Had the wife installed Android spy software on her husband’s phone, she would have known about his infidelity a lot sooner. The couple’s infidelity, abusive behavior, and more had inconvenienced an entire plane of individuals who were headed for Indonesia. Unhappy relationships can have similar effects in our everyday lives, too. If a couple cannot work through their issues on their own, other people might have to pay the consequences.

It Can Strain Friendships

Growing up in high school, my best friend was dating a boy who was obviously not right for her. It wasn’t exactly a happy relationship, either. As she began to adopt more unhealthy behaviors and attitudes from being around him so often, I distanced myself from her. I had always been there for her, ever since we were children, but that was what ultimately drove us apart. She was too attached to this boy to make time for anyone else in her life. We attempted to rekindle our friendship a few years ago, but it’s never been the same. You might be driving your friends away, too, if you continue to stay in an unhealthy relationship.

As always, you need to consider how your actions affect others. That’s why it’s important to seek out fulfilling, healthy relationships. Abusive and unhappy couples, although unintentionally, can drag other people down with them. Questionable behavior, like installing Android spy software on their spouse’s phone, is just one of many things that can make other people uncomfortable. One way to prevent this from happening is by building a strong foundation of trust. Life is too short to spend with someone you can’t fully trust.

]]>How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Workhttp://www.kaarellumi.com/how-to-make-a-long-distance-relationship-work/
Mon, 16 Oct 2017 18:33:56 +0000http://www.kaarellumi.com/?p=66Long distance relationships have never been as prevalent as they are now. The Internet has brought millions of people across the country, and the world, closer to each other. Long distance relationships are tricky, though. Even reading some of the best books on relationships doesn’t always help. Both partners need to be dedicated to not only [...]

]]>Long distance relationships have never been as prevalent as they are now. The Internet has brought millions of people across the country, and the world, closer to each other. Long distance relationships are tricky, though. Even reading some of the best books on relationships doesn’t always help. Both partners need to be dedicated to not only each other, but the success of their relationship. While long distance relationships don’t always work out, there are a few ways to get through them.

Have An End Goal In Sight

Ideally, you and your partner should plan to live together, or at least in the same town, in the future. Think about where you see this relationship going and where you want to be. Are you willing to move to the other side of the country for your love? If so, come up with a general timeline and plan. If you want to permanently reunite in two or three years, stick to it and start preparing to change jobs.

Live Your Individual Lives

Go out and live your life, even though your significant other can’t be with you.

Life doesn’t stop because your significant other is in another state or country. That also means that you shouldn’t make your whole life revolve around them. You need to go out and experience your own life, too. Don’t neglect your friends and family to stare at a screen, just to chat with your partner for hours on end. Instead, learn to maintain a balance where you feel fulfilled by both your relationship and other aspects of your life.

Meet Each Others’ Needs

I’d say that meeting each others’ needs is even more important in a long distance relationship, compared to others. Some people like hearing from their partner multiple times a day, while others only want to check in via a video call every few days. You and your partner need to establish what you both want in your relationship as far as communication goes. If one person’s needs aren’t being met, resentment can build over time. I recommend reading the best books on relationships to learn more about how to effectively communicate while you’re separated by distance.

Do Things Together

Just because you’re apart doesn’t mean you have to limit yourselves to just texting and phone calls. The Internet offers so many other activities you can do together, like video calling, streaming movies and television shows, playing games, and more. Plus, a postcard or a small gift in the mail goes a long way. Sending your partner something tangible will remind them that you’re more than just a name on a screen, and that you’ll eventually be right there by their side.

One of the biggest mistakes I’ve seen, in my line of work, is how many people underestimate the difficulty of long distance relationships. They can be emotionally taxing and travel costs can quickly add up. But if you have a strong connection, it’ll all be worth it in the end. If you have any doubts or worries, it’s worth consulting the best books on relationships. They can help guide you in the right direction and ease your worries.

]]>3 Reasons Why Trust Is So Importanthttp://www.kaarellumi.com/3-reasons-why-trust-is-so-important/
Thu, 14 Sep 2017 19:14:14 +0000http://www.kaarellumi.com/?p=53Whether you’re in a single, committed relationship or you’re dating more than one person, there needs to be trust. You should be able to count on your partner when you need them. When that trust is broken, maybe through the use of a phone spy lookup, it can take years to repair it. In some [...]

]]>Whether you’re in a single, committed relationship or you’re dating more than one person, there needs to be trust. You should be able to count on your partner when you need them. When that trust is broken, maybe through the use of a phone spy lookup, it can take years to repair it. In some cases, it’s impossible. So, why is trust so important? And why do you need it in your relationship?

Goes Hand-in-Hand with Communication

Communication and trust are more intertwined than you might think. To genuinely communicate with your partner and share who you really are, you need to know that they’ll accept you. In addition, when there’s a lack of communication, trust can dwindle. Lying by omission, not following through on promises, and more can contribute to a lack of trust.

You’ll enjoy each other’s company more when you can trust each other.

Strengthens Your Love for Each Other

Love and infatuation aren’t the same. When you really trust someone, your love for them grows. That’s because there is no mystery; you don’t have to worry that they might be lying to you about their life, or using a phone spy lookup on your phone. All of those concerns will be put to rest. You can truly appreciate your partner as a person, as well as all of their qualities, when you feel secure in your relationship with them.

Greater Empathy

Trust is key in truly understanding each other. You might have shown your significant other a side of yourself that no one else has seen, trusting them to keep your secrets. And, in turn, they’re keeping yours. This vulnerability creates a deeper connection between both of you, so you can easily relate to each other’s feelings and experiences. You’ll be able to approach life as a team.

In short, trust is essential in a successful relationship. It’s the foundation for everything else; once trust is built, the rest will follow. You deserve to be with someone who accepts you for who you are, and vice versa. If you’d like to learn more about how trust functions in a nonmonogamous relationship, please click here to read my previous article.

]]>Why So Many People Are Turning To Nonmonogamyhttp://www.kaarellumi.com/why-so-many-people-are-turning-to-nonmonogamy/
Mon, 21 Aug 2017 14:52:25 +0000http://www.kaarellumi.com/?p=32Among many couples, especially young ones, nonmonogamy is becoming a hot topic of discussion. More people are interested in going outside of their comfort zones to explore additional, meaningful relationships with other people. Ideally, in an open relationship, you shouldn’t be thinking about how to know if your boyfriend is cheating. These relationships require very [...]

]]>Among many couples, especially young ones, nonmonogamy is becoming a hot topic of discussion. More people are interested in going outside of their comfort zones to explore additional, meaningful relationships with other people. Ideally, in an open relationship, you shouldn’t be thinking about how to know if your boyfriend is cheating. These relationships require very high levels of trust and communication so both parties will feel secure and happy. But why have they become so popular lately?

More Freedom

You may love your partner very much, but you also want to go out and create new experiences with other people. Traditional monogamy has taught us that we can’t have both. However, we most certainly can. You don’t have to sacrifice your current relationship to put all of those “what ifs” to rest, as long as everyone involved agrees to being in an open relationship and is completely comfortable with it. The idea of having the freedom to explore what’s out there, while staying with the one you love, is very appealing. This new freedom should come along with a profound level of trust in your significant other. You’ll never have to consider how to know if your boyfriend is cheating, because he should be completely open with you should he decide to see another partner.

New Forms Of Communication

With texting, social media, and an overwhelming amount of dating sites, it’s easier than ever to meet new people. This can help people learn more about some of the romantic connections they can make. In addition, this new technology makes it simple to stay in contact with your current partner. Communication is one of the most important aspects of an open relationship. Without it, it can easily fall apart and jealousy, bitterness, and more can manifest. Staying connected through the Internet allows couples to communicate about whatever they need, whenever they want.

Stronger Love For Your Partner

An open relationship can help you grow even closer to your significant other.

Do you remember that feeling you had the last time you and your partner got into a new hobby together? Even if you were just marathoning a new show with one another, it was something that interested both of you and made for some interesting conversations. Seeing other people outside your relationship can have the same effect. You can get excited about not only your own experiences, but also hearing about your partner’s, creating a stronger bond between the both of you. Dating other people can give you a new appreciation for your partner and their good qualities, too. This is all without worrying about how to know if your boyfriend is cheating and if he’s going behind your back.

Would you like to tell me about your own experiences with open relationships? Please send me an email.