Friday, March 30, 2012

the lasts.

Last week was Miss McKenna's school variety show and this is the second year I had the opportunity to volunteer and provide the music. This was also our last year to partake in all of the goodness that is children gaining confidence by performing their best in front of their peers. It was truly bittersweet.

The variety show is run like American Idol {a very small crumb of a crumb of American Idol, mind you}; there's auditions with judges {nice, friendly moms}, mom meetings that include planning of how to fit all of the children into 1.5 hours {we plan a catch-all act so that children who sadly don't make it into the show still have an opportunity to perform}, a few weeks of Thursday practices, a dress rehearsal, and two performances {day and evening}. By the time we are finished, from the first practice to the last performance, we have become a little family. We have cheered each other on, we have learned each others moves and words. We have been nervous together and excited together. We have applauded one another. It is quite an experience and by the end, I have shed lots of tears.

As the player of music, my job has been to sit behind the curtain, taking cues from the director, hiding on the other side of the stage. From my corner, I have the best seat in the house. For the first few acts, I sit in my chair trembling with nerves and wiping the sweat from my palms. I have edited and loaded all of the children's songs and have them in perfect order on my computer, yet I still manage to fret over hitting play at the exact very right time. My goal is perfection. These kids, who dare to stand up there in front of their family and friends, deserve nothing but the very best from me. I know I won't die if I make a mistake, but I still don't want to. No pressure. After the first few acts though, my nerves have settled and I have the best time ever. I watch the children, from my hiding spot, each going out there, giving their best, and then taking in the sounds of cheering and clapping hands. The giant smile on each face is priceless as they exit stage right. I witness their confidence shoot like a rocket to the moon. It takes my spirit with it. Especially when I see my own daughter perform. Magic.

When one door closes... I know the "lasts" that I am experiencing in Spokane mean that opportunities for "firsts" are going to happen for us in Pittsburgh. Or give us a chance to create them ourselves. I know my family will have so much to offer. :)