This author has rarely allowed metal to pierce his body for long. He has given blood and accidentally stabbed or cut himself on many occasions. You humble and devoted servant has never, however, jumped on the piercing bandwagon and chosen to have a bit of refined ore inserted permanently into any part of his body.

Recently, he has noticed a profusion of (especially) women sporting septum piercings. The septum is a vertical flap of skin on the lower front portion of the nose that separates the organ into two main air-intake channels. On some level, the author finds a septum piercing attractive, especially on a self-respecting woman (i.e. one who appears to regularly exercise, taking generally good care of her body, mind, and soul.) On another level, however, whenever he sees a septum piercing he sees chunk a hanging snot, a booger.

Certain schools of classical Chinese medicine teach that the human body contains energetic meridians, pathways upon which Qi energy or life-force circulates. Diagrams of these meridians can be found here, and here. Even a cursory glance at one of these diagrams will reveal that a meridian passes through the septum; a closer inspection will reveal that three distinct nodes cluster around that area. One primary meridian “runs from the anus up the spine and around the top of the head to the upper lip… the other runs from the anus up to the front of the body to the lower lip.” (The Tao of Meditation - Way to Enlightenment, Tai Chi Foundation, 1983, Jou Tsung Hwa, p.142.) These two meridians, called Tu and Jen, meet at the roof of the mouth and are connected by the tongue during meditation to form the Ta-Chiao bridge.

One possible conclusion to draw from these diagrams is that septum piercings made from anything other than pure gold will tend to disrupt the flow of life-force throughout the body. The disruptions will be subtle at first, growing however in intensity until they lead, perhaps, to confusion, sickness, and suffering. We Westerners are not often raised to feel for, listen to, or trust in the information our bodies give us, learning rather to focus mostly on information that comes from the thinking mind. Therefore, I urge the beautiful female creatures of this world to take a moment to listen to what their bodies are telling them, check whether their septum piercing is doing good or harm, and remove it immediately if they detect any sort of energetic disruption in that area. Among the signs that a disruption is occurring may include an inability to focus in or concentrate on the pierced septum as well as hot or cold sensations in that area.

The world as it is is vexing enough; please avoid sacrificing long-term health for short-term trendy attractiveness.

[The author is not a licensed medical practitioner of any branch of medicine, Chinese or otherwise; this article is not intended to be taken as medical advice of any sort.]