Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Esprit d'Escalier

Back in spring of ought-five, there was a minor group spat over a proposition put forth by Tom, to wit: women will one day covet men for displaying primo video game prowess.

I mean, it's still just so cute and dear that merely writing that makes my bottom lip pout out. But he and his cohorts were quite serious and it seemed only kind to disabuse him of this notion quickly and uncompromisingly. So we argued back and forth (and somehow I missed Matty in comments discovering an entire generation[!!] of women existing behind me and Catherine; I've run to the mirror to check for eye bags and other saggy things).

But why did I spill a thousand words when this picture would have done the job?

13 Comments:

Susan, this is a rhetorical low blow. As we all know, Gaiarus was released in 1990, placing this poor gentleman well before the era concerned by my blockbuster theory.

I should also point out that there's no indication as to whether this fellow is any good at Gaiarus. He seems enthusiastic about the game, but that's about all that we can definitively say. Learning about the game offers the scholar more clues about the subject's nature. From wikipedia:

Gaiares design was spectacularly different. It featured one of the most original weapon powerup system in the shooters genre to date. A device called TOZ came with the players ship. The TOZ can be fired out like the R-Type capsule, except each time it comes in contact with the enemy, it would inherit and learn that weapon. And repeatedly you can steal from the same enemy until the weapon is maxed out in strength. To this day there is no other shooter that utilizes this same system.

Let me emphasize: spectacularly different; no other shooter. Clearly this young man is best categorized as a connoisseur first, and a competitor second (or third, or fourth, or last). His taste for refinement shows that he's a sensitive thinker, not a jock, and he needs to find a delicate soul who shares his rarified tastes. It should be no surprise that he doesn't appeal to the (forgive my saying) frankly primitive female urges with which my theory is concerned.

In short: none of this undermines the certainty of Madden adepts getting truckloads of tail.

Um, need I point out that the fastest growing group of video game players in the world are women? Female gaming teams are taking over and winning competitions. For instance, you have, inter alia, the Frag Dolls (http://www.fragdolls.com/us/) and girlz 0f destruction (http://www.girlsofdestruction.com/). Last I heard, the ratio was about 60-40 men/women gamers with women gaining rapidly. Video games, after all, eliminate the strength advantage that men have traditionally had in sports. It seems clear that both men and women will covet video game prowess in their mates in the future.

I know. I anticipated this very counterargument. And the only response I have is - come on. You can't expect me to not use a mullet-headed snaggletoothed pubertystache gamer when one falls into my hands.

the fastest growing group of video game players in the world are women

Yes, and soccer is the fastest-growing sport in the US. We know why both these things are true. But that's neither here nor there. I agreed that video game prowess would be an asset in certain niche groups (like, say, gaming circles). But will this bleed over into an asset for the general public? Let's say we use women's magazines as a conventional wisdom litmus test. The breakthrough is, I maintain, not imminent.

what about the Wii? doesn't the combination of video games and physical coordination suddenly change the entire equation? and obviously i'm referring to people who are good Wii boxers and not good Wii bowlerz, demeaning as that may be to my own talents.

Let's say we use women's magazines as a conventional wisdom litmus test. The breakthrough is, I maintain, not imminent.

I think that's a bad yardstick. The breakthrough will first occur in the demographic where videogame prowess most affects a guy's location in the male hierarchy -- late middle school, probably. Girls will pick up that cue and it'll then leak into high school, then TigerBeat, then YM, then Teen People, and eventually Vogue.

and obviously i'm referring to people who are good Wii boxers

Dude, everyone knows that Wii Tennis is the only reliable way to electronically determine virility. It carries the e-preppy whiff of virtual old money, for another thing.

IDP: The workings of this mysterious comment section are beyond my comprehension. I'm sorry you lost your comment; I promise it's nothing personal. I'm going to check my settings at some point and figure out why permalinks are using a different commenting service.