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I have learned during the past weeks I’ve spent here that adjusting doesn’t always mean conforming. Yeah, TCU girls on their way to class are a big fashion faux pas. It’s a disaster waiting to happen. You run into that new boy you like, sorry, but you look like a mess. This is the part I refused to adjust to at TCU. Yes, I conform to the Greek life culture; I do not conform to oversize tee shirts that make me look 30 pounds heavier than I am. I will admit as I write this that I am wearing a long sleeve (non-figure flattering) Endless Summer shirt paired with black lulus and blue converse. Not at my peak, but I did wear a sassy business dress for a good majority of the day. And now it’s cold, so forgive me for dressing accordingly to the weather for just a second. Sorry students in my Lab class, but I am not trying to please you right now.

But all this is beside the point. As I am adjusting to the new college culture, I have learned to conform from identity to identity. Yet I am still able to maintain a stable identity of my own. Am I not making sense? Here let me make this clearer by using an example.

Conforming in the sense of adjusting.

I show up to my chapter meeting and my seating is not in its usual order, I am not squeezed next to my talking buddy who I used to sit next to for every meeting. Am I going to make the best of it instead? You betcha. Lucky for me I get to form a bond with the new ‘sisters’ I get to sit next to. Adjusting to change, conforming to sorority sisterhood expectations.

Well speaking about sisters, Caitlin (yes, I consider her a sister) and I decided to play into the role of Texas Californians. Does that make sense? We embraced our California mentality and explored the artsiest of neighborhoods we could find in Fort Worth. It was totally worth it. Adjusting the California mindset to what Texas has to offer.

Naturally, during our spontaneous adventure we thought the only rational way to end this day would be to go to Billy Bob’s to see Scotty McCreery in concert. Now I am not gonna lie here… I am not country music’s biggest fan, however, when in Texas…, right? I kick on my cowboy boots and head to the rodeo, pretending to be the real cowgirl that I am. Conformity? Yeah, probably. Fun? Absolutely

It sure seems like Caitlin and I had a crazy cool weekend. Even on Monday it continued on. Caitlin was super stoked that her Eno hammock came in. I committed to helping her set it up and try it out. Given it was a pretty boyish color (puke green and brown) us to girls added a little pizazz to it. We hung that bad boy up on a tree and climbed in, both crossing our fingers. If this sucker falls down, that is for sure a broken tailbone. Am I usually adventurous like this? No, not necessarily as much as I’d like to think. So yeah I pushed myself to meet Caitlin’s expectations of hammock chiller.

Overall, I’d say this whole experience has been successful. It may be altering your perspective or altering your actions, but being able to stay true to yourself and opening up new and different doors for yourself really isn’t that bad.

I could ramble on and on, but assuming some of y’all have as short of an attention span as I do… I’ll spare you the time and wrap it all up. What I am trying to get at here is that you can ALWAYS change yourself into who you want to be.

Here is the scoop, (I am turning into my mother) I recently found out that I am in the process of discovering and creating my identity. It is really quite enthralling, but I have a slight dilemma. Here it is. I like to match my personality accordingly with my outfits. It really isn’t as silly as you think. I will give you a few common examples.

Dress for Success: We all know that we feel our best when we look our best. Dress for Success is applicable in quite a few situations really. Test days. Interviews. Dates. Parties. Presentations. You name it. We look good. We feel good. We do good.

IDGAF: This look was most common in the latter years of highs school. Freshmen and sophomores were often teased for dressing well. Pretty twisted I think know looking back on it. But this left the trend of upper classmen dressing like hobos. IDGAF. Excuse my language, but if you dress like shit odds are you will feel like shit.

So these are my two generic examples of how outfits can dictate our personalities or at least current attitudes. Which brings me back to my original problem. I have quite the identity crisis. Here are the classifications of my current style.

image found on tumblr.

Black is the New Black: Pretty much every girl I know owns significantly more items of clothing in black then in any other color. I will not lie I went through an all black phase. It wasn’t emo, it was actually pretty classy… which is why I now own over 10 LBDs. If you are ever in need to borrow, I have plenty to lend out. Black will never go out of style so I am not ready to purge these not so bright articles of clothing. Generally black will always be present in any outfit of mine.

image found on tumblr.

I Actually Like This. I Am Not Trying To Be Hipster: High waisted shorts may not be the most flattering look, but they are so darn cute. I am a huge advocate of “if you’ve got it flaunt it.” This hipster look calls for more flat chested and size zero models that typically reside on the California coast. Unfortunately, I don’t fit those requirements, but I love the clothes too much to care if I fit the stereotypical hipster look. This, however, comes with a warning. Texans are less approving of this look. I find it works better for me in the land that I call home. Sweet Sweet California.

This is Trendy But Will I Ever Wear It: This is my biggest fashion crime. I have fallen into the trendy trap. Magazines are slowly deteriorating my brain cells and making me fall madly in love (for about two seconds) with various articles of clothing. In fact my closet is almost filled with clothing reflecting the ever changing trends of 2009 to 2013. I cannot pinpoint one item. But I know that there are at least three items from every year that I have purchased, hung in my closet, and never looked at it ever again.

image found on pinterest.

Strat Prep: Of course I am in a sorority. When you go to TCU it is nearly mandatory. I am obsessed with the image I have of myself being in my early thirties rocking a chic Kate Spade look with elegance and class, and of course pearls. What kind of prep doesn’t wear pearls? Me. I took more of the sporty sorority prep style. Vinyard Vines. Long shirts, ugly shorts, nike shoes, and a monogrammed heart. Believe it or not, I still do not own monogram anything….yet.

I Don’t Actually Run: This look could be quite similar to the uniformed sorority look. The difference is this look can follow me back into my beautiful hometown. That is where it gets dangerous. I have to keep in mind that back in California a cute work out outfit does not consist of oversized shirts and norts. If you are going to pretend you go to the gym don’t forget to slide on your lulus and tank.

Miscellaneous: Last but not least, my closet is filled with single items that don’t quite fit into any outfits. It is usually that shirt that I try on with every pair of pants, shorts, or skirts I own and it still doesn’t quite go with any. It is that black mini skirt that I insisted on buying because I knew it would match everything, but it doesn’t fit right with anything. It is the chiffon blouse that I used to wear all the time, that doesn’t have the spunk it used to have a couple months ago. These clothes sit in my closet begging me to wear them and I feel sorry for them, but I just cant.

So do you see my dilemma here? I have about three main styles that I dress accordingly to, but I don’t know which one I find myself in more. I suppose my identity allows for more than one sense of style, but my mind wants the perfect match. I wear who I am.