Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Poem: Mixed Emotions

I wrote this poem six years ago. The first time I read it, at the Late Night Series Hosted by Laurie Carlos at the Pillsbury House Theater, I was knocked over by the audience reaction. It was the third spoken word piece I had ever written, and it was the second time I had ever read in public. It gave me the confidence to move forward with my writing, it helped define my niche in the spoken word community, and it is still a crowd pleaser. I think my poetry has become more sophisticated since I wrote this...but it is still my all time favorite. You can hear it recorded if you check out my brother Rodrigo Sanchez-Chavarria's CD Desconocidos.

Mixed Emotions

Are you mixed? What are you? Where are you really from? Your Mama’s white huh? You speak Spanish like a Mexican, Nuyorican. White boy with a tan. What ARE you?

It’s too bad you can’t identifyWhat I clearly can’t denyI’m a fine, sweet lovin’, smart ass, smart mouthed, smart boyWith more history in my veins than you can ever hope to comprehend

I am a Swede-a-Rican, Negro, Native, German, Dutch, English, Scottish, Norwegian, Spic. Praire Nigga, Island Nigga, Nigga Nigga,FaggotAnd the next person that asks me if Puerto Ricans got big dicksI am going to take mine out and choke him with it

It doesn’t matter what I say You’ll make up your mind anywayI am the Nigga that makes you grab your purseI am the Spic that you love to curseI am the low down, caramel brown, miscegenation revelation of this world’s futureI am Nefertiti & Piri ThomasI am Harriet Tubman & Sitting BullI am John Brown & Jesus ChristIf you don’t like it that’s just too damn badI have had it with playing Cirque du SoleilContorting my face and my race in order to placate your fears

I know the story that you’d like to hear about leaving the jungle and my very first spearHow my Mom rode a Zebra with a bone in her lipTitties sagging to the ground with a kid on each hipHow I salsa-ed to school That I can use an abacusHow I feed the chickens in the morningWorked the fields late at nightHow I attained my manhood from a wildebeest fightYou’d like to know how many languages I speakThat I feel homesick when I go to the zooWell this is the point that I tell you to back the fuck offGet away from me or my first in your face is the last thing you’ll see

I am from right here born queer in the Great State of MinnesotaMe, Charles Schulz, and Charles LindberghSchultz illustrated, Lindbergh aviated, and I’ve navigated The convoluted mimicry of this multi-racial democracyI’ve checked the boxesTried to conformFinally said fuck it and blew up the normI rejected the questionsI refused to be placed in a boxMarked other ethnicity/raceI am an Afro-Euro-Boricua-FagI’m so multi-national I should have my own flagMy roots are three continents wideAnd no one can make decide to choose one or the otherThe history of my father or that of my mother

My brothers and sistersWe are here to stayYour time for a say in it has long passed awayYou should have thought about that before you screwed my MomRaped third world women from Santiago to Saigon I am a product of your perfidy, colonization, and slaveryNow I’m pissed off and roaming free denying your attempts to colonize meIt’s fairly obvious and plain to seeThat I am the person that you’d like to beTiger Woods?He ain’t got nothing on me

I am not your boy-geisha tropical blendDark skinned Latin melanin friendI am proud to be Puerto Rican, Black, Swedish, Anishinabe tooWhat face you see is up to youI am a chameleon I get to be everything inside of meNo limitationsNo expiration dateI get to be in the clubI don’t need a passI am enoughIf you don’t like it, fuck it that’s tough

I’m a mixed race diva from my feet to my hairYou better get used to itI ain’t going no where.

My Feet Only Walk Forward

A Bit Of Me in Ones and Zeroes

Named February 2011's Bad-Ass Feminist of the Month by NotYourAverageFeminist.com, BLC is also a poet, playwright, journalist,amateur chef and life commentator doing his bit to put his foot in the asses of the regressive masses, while putting filling and nutritious food on plates of folks that ain't got much and deserve better. And, thank you to MyLatinVoice.Com which named me the #2 Queer Latin@ Blogger on the web for my blog My Feet Only Walk Forward: www.myfeetonlywalkforward.blogspot.com

Photo Credits and Copyright

All written material found on this blog whether blog entries, poetry, or insane rantings are wholly owned and copyrighted by William Brandon Lacy unless otherwise acknowledged in the body of the text. Please feel free to repost my work as long as you are willing to credit the author (unless of course you are a for profit entity...then you best to be PAYING the author before you use my writing...don't make me get you).

As for the photos and artwork...all artwork is credit to the artist...which right now is just David Berube. Most of the photos on this site are taken by me or by David Berube...though some are pulled directly from the web. The background photo on this blog was taken by yk hong (love you!). The logo at the top of the page was designed by Catherine Womack. If you own an image that you find on this site and are unwilling to let me use it...please let me know, and I will take it down post haste.