I :Æ guy with 24 doughnuts :j(i. ,landed me on a battleship!" . <Þ..8' ' a ,r. '-'{:':":'y. ': ! j' :' fì . ..-;-..... ..:. ....-<;9"1' _....".. .... 36 ":", ":. .:.:....';..:.....,.. ::;}:::' [ì;I \:, ' ' . :::::::::::: ::. :":-::: \: ::: I ':::"'...,(.: ',: \ .. .::: -;.(. '. . .... :",.' .;, J))::: .:::' : ;.;. .-::: :::'. '.;''::::.. :::;.. . ' : ':;'.a ..:.. " , p . ;,,-< :. :, ';17 .. .."...,...- , .:, :ø, : M \:à ...,. ',- :,J i. ..,:' ''v '' '(' "..:,Xf ':' ,'::' : ;, -<'\. '<., " . .* $;$ I '-'/'" ' > ' '\ \ " ..:""t W' -'-ffM: '9' '. .,:' m, '." <>y,: " :: / 2. A Chief Petty Officer came up and said: "Sailor, do you like doughnuts?" "He's crazy!" I thought, not knowing whether to run or try to hold him for the shore patrol But. . ."It's this way," he explained. AO .,0 '" '. ' . .:<::1.; f\J.,:,:': :::::" . ,,""--, ,,\ "'\"/': " : j /f N' \ --.. - A ,.. , <- --, ---- î. :':' ': \. " ' } ;: :' ,,'-, l:' 'tJ.%:m: lí. I ::::: :,;;<-w.... ,,:':':;: l ' ,::', :' ",;, \., :;,,:: .'" y/, j "--'1&!l {-.....:' jg 4. II And I can't drink coffee," he we t on. "The caffein in it keeps me awake!" Just then my girl showed up. "Betty," I said, "this C. P. O. can't drink coffee! Let's edu- cate him!" So we headed for Betty's kitchen. IX>- 6. Later, I'm transferred to a battlewagon! And here's this C. P.O., telling a bout how Sanka Coffee lets him sleep. . . and how he was so grateful he spoke a good word for me when my application for transfer came up. 1. I was on liberty, just standing around thinking that if my girl didn't show up soon,.. I'd go back to my ship. She was a minesweeper-the ship, I mean-and I didn't like the job. What I'd asked for was a berth on a battle\vagon. , <:'Qi ., '>:;':-- ' " - , :: ::' '\ ::' -:c .., d ' L ' ' , . ,.., " , '.....-::; ,',' .J ---,:,- " ',' <.. , .,.. " __ f/ . . .--....J-:..:=-::... A.. ì -- l: . . '.':' ,."<,:,:-:': : "".. .'-,,'-1 S. Betty brewed the finest pot of coffee I ever washed doughnuts down with! "It's Sanka Coffee;' we told him. "It's 97% caffcin- free, and can't keep anyone awake!" He looked doubtful. . . but he drank three cups! SANKA COFFEE REAL COffEE... 97% CAffEIN - fREE Make Sanka Coffee stronf,. Use a heaping tablespoon per cup. If percolator is used, "perk" Sanka Coffee a little longer. TUNE IN.... ."Duffy's Tavern/' starring "Archie," Duffy-on-the-telephone, and Shirley Booth. The most talked-about new show on the air... laugh-spangled and studded with fun Every Tuesday n ght. See your local paper for times and stations. OF ALL THINGS AS this is written, the British and the .l"l. Indians are still in a deadlock. They had better settle this fam- ily quarrel soon; there's company com- Ing. . The President hopes that somehody will think up a good name for this war. The title should be terse and expressive, yet fit to print. . It begins to look as if the J aps have reached the end of their easy victories in the Pacific. They are beginning to un- derstand the saying "You can go far- ther and fare worse." . The Russian tha""" has set in and the Nazi spring offensive will have to be postponed on account of wet grounds. The mud is probably the deepest it has been for a hundred and thirty years. . It is revealed that the statements of Martin Dies are highly prized in Berlin. Reports have it that he is rapidly becom- ing Hitler's second favorite author. . ] esse Jones promises that there will be an ample supply of synthetIc rubber by 1944. Then we can all have tires for our cars if we still have any cars. . That long-threate!.'led inflation has finally arrived. Toothpaste tubes are be- ing used for Inoney. . \Villiam Dudley Pelley, the Silver Shirtist, has been arrested by the F.B.I. and withdrawn from circulation. Many of us have long felt that the supply of Pelley was greater than the demand. . The Standard Oil Company and Charles A. Lindbergh have at last signed up with our team. We all ought to be glad to hear of the capitulation of these two famous holdouts. . The well-dressed man is now appear- ing in cuffiess trousers. There is also a distinct trend toward tighter belts. . New Yorkers were interested to learn that the long strike at the Brass Rail Restaurant has been called off. The pickets will now go back to work greatly refreshed by their 1,165 days in the open air. -HOWARD BRUBAKER