Reason #49: If you don’t, then the Fenerbahçe boys will come find you.

Heavily chronicled are the tales of disastrous disappearance at the hands of the Bermuda Triangle in the Atlantic Ocean. Now, the first law of thermodynamics has a new, three-pronged thorn in its side: Fenerbahçe Ülker’s centers. The Turkish tandem waits patiently in the paint, salivating at the mere sight of smaller players with aspirations of easy layups. The gargantuans creep slowly forward as their unknowing prey draws closer to its prize. As the point guard toes the three-point line, Oguz Savas takes his position on the low block, his silhouette eclipsing the light behind him. Semih Erden stands on the opposite edge of the lane, his body half as wide but twice as long. Omer Asik stands between the two, his eyes widening with each baby step, his arms swaying freely like the limbs of a willow. He knows how this will end; they all do. Then, in an instant, the guard dribbles, crosses over and floats the ball toward the rim. Seconds later, it lands in the stands with a thud, and everyone sits in stunned silence as they realize that the other team now has only four players.