Your Blogging Staff

Contributing to this blog:
- "Dave" is Dave Barry, who is a humor columnist and presidential contender.
- "judi" is Judi Smith, who is Dave's Research Department, as well as being interested in men.
- "Walter" is Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus.

Two Gophers were walking the walks of St. Cloud,
And i it happened to happen they both were too proud.
The South-walking Gopher was always Southbound.
And he never went anywhere that took him around.

And North-walking Gopher was always Northbound.
He stared straight ahead, and never stared 'round.

Head-on they met: Neither would flinch.
And neither would budge, not even an inch.

Then the North-Going Gopher puffed his chest up with pride.
“I never,” he said, “take a step to one side.
And I’ll prove to you that I won’t change my ways
If I have to keep standing here fifty-nine days!”

“And I’ll prove to YOU,” said the South-Going Gopher way loud,
“That I can stand here in the street of St.Cloud
For fifty-nine years! For I live by a rule
That I learned as a boy back in South-Going School.
Never budge! That’s my rule. Never budge in the least!
Not an inch to the west! Not an inch to the east!
I’ll stay here, not budging! I can and I will
If it makes you and me and the whole world stand still!”

And, well...
The world didn't stop, if it did it would starve.
So they took out their knives, one another to carve
And they carved, and they carved, until they both found,
They had carved one another right down to the ground.

In the excitement, injury can be overlooked. I was once in a karate match. When I sat down, I noticed that one finger was twisted in an unnatural direction. Looking back on it, the injury happened in the first 10 seconds of the match and I didn't notice until it was over.
That said, dumb asses!

In Italy, no one ever gives way on those tiny sidewalks. After stepping down into the street a gazillion times, I said, "they think it's fine to keep going, what if we keep going?" Bam. How they deal with this with each other, as opposed to tourists,remains a mystery. But this does explain some driving habits.