I feel like I can't lose weight no matter what I do, and I have to spend a lot of energy accepting me as I am eventhough I've spent nearly a lifetime not wanting to.

Perhaps change the goal on your ticker? That could be a big stress relief, like making the lb goal a bit smaller. Maybe a little self reminder that getting rid of clothes that are collecting dust anyways is pretty freeing. I remember holding onto clothes that I was half unsure if I would ever even fit into again, and even when I tried them on, I realized that I didn't even like the style anymore so I was hanging onto a dream size, not the fashion (I'm guessing that these are old clothes from the past right?)

I can relate to not having anyone to relate to in real life in general outside of weight, so instead, I just seek out understanding people who might not do exactly what I am doing, but they also try to be understanding of the "different strokes for different folks."