Second Child Syndrome – The Struggle Is Real!

It’s just over a week until littlest first birthday (let’s just pause on that for a moment, wow, I’m like where has the last year gone but also, wow almost 365 days without more than a few hours sleep – pretty sure it’s now 50% coffee 50% wine in my veins and not in fact blood…)

Anyway, I’ve been aware in the background that this birthday was coming up, and as I’ve said before I’m normally a mega planner, but I have in fact done absolutely zero for this event so far, apart from asking my other half if he wanted to book the day off work.

We had a big soft play party for H when he turned one, many friends were invited, I made a cake and spent a small fortune on decorations. He then had a further three ‘family’ parties. Not to mention we went on a ridiculous shopping spree at Toys R Us and literally filled a trolley with stuff for him.

Spoilt AF does not even come into it.

So I’m just trying to work this all out in my head – it’s of course not that I love the little’un any less than his big brother, but there have been so many other factors that have combined into me reaching this unprepared state at a week to go.

It’s only a month after Christmas really, and that wiped me out mentally and physically, I’m not fully recovered yet!

We’ve had our hands full settling biggest into nursery, finding ourselves in a new routine and adjusting to our new daily life.

Sleeping, or lack thereof, seems to be at its worst right now, so I’m battling to just keep myself going in what little spare time I have, let alone giving myself another new project to take on.

BUT, it’s mostly because I haven’t been able to take L to any baby classes on our own; his little group of friends consist of the lovely little siblings of his older brother’s friends, of which there’s only a handful. Really not enough for a big party on his own.

And I’m worried anything I do pay for or indeed host myself will just turn out to be another party for our eldest, who already thinks he’s the most entitled toddler on the planet, so really not a good idea!

Plus we have so many toys already there’s really not much we can get for L that we haven’t already got a version of. And I physically can’t fit many more toys in our already over-flowing playroom.

I’ve been asking for very un-exciting clothes vouchers, in fact, because actually as he’s much bigger than his brother was at that age he needs needs them. And is he really going to remember!?

So it has then got me thinking about the other things L has had to put up with as a ‘second child’ – being the eldest in my family it’s something I would have never considered but now as a mummy I can see quite clearly!

Ok, I will confess to having a small (tiny really) addiction to dressing them the same, so I have maybe bought one or two (or ten) new bits for him – but really for the most part it’s hand me downs all the way!

I hold my hands up and admit that one of Lucas first tastes was mushed up baked beans. And McDonalds chips with the salt sucked off first by me (does anyone else do this?!)

Don’t get me wrong he eats well, he has his five a day most days, but he also eats what his brother eats. And sometimes that’s potato smiley faces and chicken dippers. I’m really not cooking a million different meals for everyone each day. I don’t have the time or the patience.

Technology – Yes, the TV is on much more than it ever used to be when H was little and yes, little L is quite often dumped right in front of it.

He must think that Chase and Marshall are his brothers too, he sees them so often. I don’t really worry, I haven’t got the energy to worry!

Memories – We took a zillion pictures of H as a baby and had loads up around the house and he even had a dedicated photo album of his early days. Now most pictures of L are on my phone and most which are on display also have his brother in them.

I didn’t do any milestone cards or regimented social media pictures as he got one more month older. I haven’t notched up his height on the nursery wall. He didn’t even get a ‘My First Christmas’ onesie.

Weigh Ins – I took H every couple of weeks to get weighed, I could tell anyone how heavy he was and what percentile he was on at any time. I haven’t had L weighed since he was 4 months. He eats well, he’s big and long. He’s mostly happy.

Apart from a bit of worry over his reflux and sleeping I just haven’t felt the need to go and get him checked out as regularly and I haven’t had the time! I can see he’s doing just fine.

In fact, before I go and report myself for crimes against motherhood (really, I forgot his Christmas onesie, how could I) I need to remind myself that yes, littlest IS doing just fine.

Actually sometimes I wish I had been this relaxed bringing up a child first time around, there’s so much to be said for experience and confidence with your second, and also your lack of time to worry!

OK, OK, all this aside, I will get cracking on organising something nice for us to do as a family for L’s big day, and I will make a cake (like I need an excuse for that!!)

He may be our second child but he’s just equally amazing as his big brother and he’s taught me so much about the kind of mum I can be and how much love I have to give that I didn’t think I ever could have.

So, I’m going to make more of an effort to celebrate his firsts.

I think I would like another baby somewhere along the line, but you never know, so all of these firsts could also be my lasts, and so I need to savour them!

I will make time, and enjoy the time with him whilst his brother is at nursery, and make him the centre of my day.

I want him to grow up knowing just how important an addition he is to our little family.