After 16 years on the job, top City Attorney Bob White is retiring. White, also known as an actor in local theater, served under several mayors. He will be replaced by Rob Perry, who was former Gov. Gary Johnson’s corrections cabinet secretary.

Dateline: Florida—According to the Pensacola News Journal, Google Earth helped a sheriff’s department bust a major litterbug. Deputy Gregory Barnes used satellite images from Google Earth to hunt down the owner of an 18-foot boat which had been dumped in an undeveloped subdivision about 15 miles north of Pensacola. Authorities were able to identify a fuzzy image of the boat in question parked at Dwight Everett Foster’s house. When police questioned him, Foster admitted to dumping the old boat. The police said it would have cost Foster $18 to dispose of the vessel at a local landfill. He now faces a $5,000 fine and up to five years in prison.

[Re: Opinion, Ortiz y Pino, “Whose Waterloo Was It?” March 25-31] Whose Waterloo was it? It was ours, the American people's Waterloo, freedom's Waterloo, our once great country's Waterloo. America was once a great republic, a shining example of personal freedom in the world, proud and unashamed, and Americans were once independent, freethinking, freedom-thinking, self-reliant, bold, courageous individualists. How did we become a nation of sniveling whiners, demanding whatever we could get from our own countrymen? How did we go from the land of freedom and opportunity to the land of entitlement? We have lost our way and in so doing, have made a mockery of all that our forefathers fought, and died, for. We have undergone a sea-change from being the proud constitutional republic that we once were, to being an oligarchy ruled by a small group of elitist thugs. The only thing “bipartisan” about the health reform bill recently “passed” was the opposition to it; we are not even a democracy as every single credible poll that was taken showed that the vast majority of American people opposed this bill.

Fighting two costly wars, massively expanding the federal role in health care and adding trillions of dollars to America’s national debt—sounds like President George W. Bush, right? Well, it does describe Bush’s policies, but unfortunately, it also describes President Obama’s track record more than a year into his presidency.

Tahitian Dance Workshop

By Mayo Lua de Frenchie

Don't get it twisted. Tahitian dance is not the hula. Tahitian dance is centered around the hips for storytelling instead of the hands, and it's from … wait for it … Tahiti, not Hawaii. This style, also called 'Ori Tahiti, is a far more aggressive style in most cases, especially from the male dancers. Shock. Kellie Villicano of the Ka Lā Kapu Polynesian Dance School brings this Tahitian Dance Workshop…

Opt Outside

By Mayo Lua de Frenchie

Black Friday gets more and more absurd every year. In fact, for many retailers, the humanity-crushing shopping rush begins on frigging Thanksgiving Day. What a fun, sexy time. Avoid all of that this year with the Opt Outside event as all 34 New Mexico State Parks wave their day-use fees. Which means seeing our beautiful state wilderness is absolutely free. With the support of retailers such as REI, the entirety of Friday, Nov. 23 turns into a day of functional family time or serene solitude as you traverse the trails of what makes New Mexico the Land of Enchantment. Break the brutal sale shopping traditional with a beautiful day in the sunshine.

Winterfest 2018

By Mayo Lua de Frenchie

Ready to get in the holiday spirit? Yeah, neither are we. Fortunately, a little community spirit and fellowship can be infectious. The good ol' city of the 505 is doing their damnedest to provide a little Christmas conversion therapy with this year's Winterfest. Civic Plaza becomes a holly, jolly winter wonderland just two days after Thanksgiving on Saturday, Nov. 24 from 3 to 7pm. Just what makes this so jolly? What the hell could be more merry than the opening of the Holiday Ice Qube Skating Rink with free skating and $3 skate rentals? Local vendors ease the blow with handmade goods and retail therapy. Not to mention, wintery comfort foods, hot cocoa, eggnog and adult libations are abound, thank goddess. The seasonal décor is up and the fat dude in the red suit is there to listen to requests for all the needless crap on your wishlist. This is a free and all-ages event. So put on a coat, skate like a Peanut and get in the damn spirit.