Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Why I could never really give up FB

I am a sensitive person so it comes as no surprise to me that a FB post that had nothing to do with me upset me greatly. It hurt me. I cried for hours. I moaned that life wasn't supposed to be this way and it wasn't supposed to hurt this much. And then I unjustly blamed FB.. If I had not read that on FB, I probably never would have known. And I wouldn't be hurt right now. Forget it. Forget you FB.. I am outta of here. It's not worth it.

But then there's you. If you are bothering to read my blog post, chances are you care about me. And chances are pretty good that we probably don't have a friendship outside of FB. Because truth be told, if I did actually give up FB and you are not in my path of school or church or scouts, only a handful of you would actually have an email relationship with me. And that's just the way life is.

For a moment last night and for the last week really as I have been dealing with negative thoughts about some of the friendships in my life, I thought this would be better. Maybe less contact with people would be better. Maybe I need less friends. Maybe my kids need less friends. Maybe we could all avoid some of the hurt that we are all feeling right now by stepping away and sticking tight to each other and not the rest of the world.

But I can't do that. You are my people. And I love you. And the good times don't always outweigh the bad but I can't give up on you. And I can't be a good friend if I disappear into the non-Facebook world. Maybe the people I know that don't use Facebook have other ways of connecting with friends. Maybe they are extremely introverted. Maybe they clean their house all day...I have no idea. But it's not me.

I am going to put on my big girl panties and I am going to fight the good fight because it's worth it. You are worth it. There will always be the party that I am not invited to. There will always be the friend who values other friends more than me. There will always be the rejection. There will always be the hurt. There will always be the laughter. There will always be the hope. There will always be the encouragement on a bad day. It's just the way FB is. So for the millionth time, I have said I am giving up on Facebook and I am not. And I will say it again and not do it again. And thank you for just being my friend and not calling my bluff. I need you to remember how much I care about all of you.