A 27 year old fourth year medical student who knits (and stories about what it takes to change from a med student into a physican)

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

It's like.....a big family reunion?

knitting: I finished the second part of the jumper today, and need to seam the front and back together so I can pick up stitches and knit around the arm holes. Then I'll pick stitches up off the holders and start on the straps! The front piece is much more even, and I'm pleased with how it's coming out!

I have a few possibilities of what's next up on the needles, but it looks like I'm going to need to do some swatching, some pattern tinkering or some pattern creating before I can start on anything. The other option is to buy yarn but (as I look over at all the yarn that is just dying to be picked from my stash) that's not really an option.

other med school/social rambling: There are roughly 120 students in my class, and it's begun to hit all of us that we are almost done with our second year and our time together is coming to an end. During our "orientation" to medical school I remember looking around our HUGE lecture hall (it was larger then any classroom I had in undergrad) thinking that I'd never be able to know everyone, let alone keep their names straight.

I think that mindset lasted a month; by then I knew most people by face, and after some small group work, could name almost half of our class. Throughout the first year our class developed the usual groups (or dare I say cliques?) and people began drifting to the same type of people. By the end of the year I knew who everyone was, what car they drove, who was dating who (either other people in our class or people from outside school), and how things (in general) with everyone were going. By our last exam we were all cranky and tired and it felt like a family reunion with 120 cousins who all just wanted to go home.

Thankfully we came back with renewed spirits and energy this past July; most of us had survived our first year without too much difficulty, and that meant half of the "two years in the lecture hall" battle had been won. There were five new babies born in our first year (all girls!) and we found out that there were a few more due this year. (I think we're waiting for another three little ones to be born - another little girl was born a month or so ago.)

The trouble now is that we're all reaching the tired and cranky point again, but we're not done in May like we were last year. The big difference this year is that except for a two week "review" back on campus at the end of our third year, we won't be together as a class of 120(ish) again until graduation. It's begun to hit some people, and it's been interesting to see how some are handling it.

the social aspect:Most people came into school fitting one type of social "dating" category:1. married2. dating with the intent to marry3. single with the intent to meet someone in school4. single with the intent to meet someone outside of school5. single with the intent to make it through school in one piece

People who are in category 1 have done okay this year; there have been some tense moments between couples who aren't used to having a third "person" (called school) in their marriage, but most have figured it out.

Those in cateogry 2 have been fun to watch; some broke up with long standing boy/girl friends because of the distance or the stress of school (long hours and no free time were hard to continually explain were often the explainations, and it is hard to be in it and relate to people who have free time and money of their own) and some have made it work - it's been said that those who have made it work will be together forever because of the stress this puts on a relationship. A few of my classmates came back from breaks engaged, and there are a few people on the "watch" list that we all suspect will be engaged/married before we all graduate. (and a few more people who are gearing up to propose this summer and have been getting advice from those that have already done so...)

Cateogry 3 is a crapshoot; most of the couples I know that met and started "dating" (it's a loose term, and sometimes stemed from studying together or other group work) have been able to keep it together and remain a couple. The mindset of coming into school in hopes of finding the love of your life is understandable, but now I can't imagine I ever felt that way. I see it as dating a cousin, with the whole family there to watch. (With all that said there are a few people that I know are really great together and I wish them all the best of luck!)

4 and 5? Could be the same caterogry for most people. I've been in relationships in the past and figured I'd find someone while I was in school; after realizing the mentality of most of my classmates ruled out 3, then I aimed for 4, which then became 5. I don't know how people have time to be social outside of school; it could just be me, as I find trying to meet people draining and exhausting, but I'm not sure when they had the time. Explaining that you have eight million things to be studying is easier when in an established relationship then I can imagine it being in a new relationship with someone from the "outside."

I write all this because I am sick of being single, but don't have the time or energy to do anything about it right now. I look forward to when I am more "out there" in the world, and am not stuck in a lecture hall or my apartment trying to study. Going back to a smaller, more rural area next year may not bode well for my social life, but at least I know that I'll be busy all hours of the day and night and it might not feel as though I am as lonely as I am now.

(BUT - I should point out that I would have been an awful, awful girlfriend this year; the poor soul would have had to listen to my crying and complaining about how much I hate this med school thing and how I don't think it'll be worth it and blah, blah, blah, so I'm almost glad I saved whoever it might have been from that experience!)

I could go on and on about how I feel like my class average right now (less then average) and how much I hate that, but instead I should return to my board studying. I'm taking a pratice, abbreviated board-style exam in the morning and I'm hoping it'll be the motivation I need to get going with my own reviews and what it takes to kick my memory back into high gear.

future posts may include how much easier this whole experience would be if I were a competitive person (I'm not - I can't even pretend to be competitive), how I hope I can overcome my less then average grades with some creative wordplay in my reccomendations, and how glad I will be when my time in the rat race called medical school is over. People, doctors, warned me it would be like this, but I was so happy and excited to be doctor someday that I didn't think it'd happen to me.....

Kristen, there is very little correlation between how you perform academically in med school and what kind of doc you become. Naturally, that is somewhat dependent on what specialty you choose. I teach at Harvard, and some of the smartest people are some of the dumbest doctors. There are other qualities that are not measured in academic performance, and I'd be happy to talk further in email. (Don't want to scare the public too badly.)

Your social network has a tendency to both expand and contract once you finish your clinical years. This also is probably best covered in email. If you are interested, let me know.

About Me

My parents always said "remember to look for the wonder in life" and I try to keep that in mind every day. Medicine and the human body fascinate me and frustrate me; there is so much to know and so little time for me to learn it in. I used to say that if all else failed I'd become a recluse and teach yoga in the woods. After being out of practice for a few years and trying to jump back into it, it's evident that I'm going to have to pick something else to fall back on, at least until I regain my flexability. I knit. All the time. No, really. I knit in class, I knit on public transportation, I knit in coffeehouses, while in coversations with people, while watching movies/tv and while studying. They don't let me knit during tests which is too bad; I'd probably have a much higher average if they'd let me. (medstudentwhoknits at yahoo dot com)