Baby Voting

Well, I’ve done my bit for democracy in action and voted early. I’ve never done the early thing before, but everyone kept saying the lines on Election Day would be HUGE! and having to bring 15 month old twins along to stand on line for HOURS just didn’t seem to appeal to me for some odd reason 🙂 .

So I went early. It seemed like a sunny day, so I packed juice, extra water and lotsa snacks and fruit. Lucky us, as soon as we got in line it became overcast, so I didn’t have to worry about baby heatstroke.

The girls were pretty well behaved. Now and again, I’d have to break into a song and dance routine of “The Eensy Weensy Spider,” but the people around us were pretty good sports about the many encores the girls required. Halle even fell asleep after an hour and a half.

Then it started to rain. Thankfully the librarians (it was our local library) let as many people in as possible and the line snaked in and out of the book aisles.

Finally, after two and a half hours, we reached the head of the line and were about to enter the voting area.

Then this big, bossy behemoth stepped in front of us to block the way. “You can’t go in there with them,” she declared with a frown on her face, as she eyed my little cherubs as though they were a particularly loathsome specimen of insect.

Then she told me to bring them home, get “someone” to watch them and come back alone. As though I had oodles of “someone”s on tap to watch the babies at my leisure.

I assured her politely but firmly that the babies were both American citizens. She still insisted we leave. I also assured her that they were not spies or terrorists. She would not budge.

Then I began to be ticked off. I told her that after waiting in line for two and a half hours, we were not going anywhere, so she’d better step aside and while I was at it I wanted to talk to her supervisor, too!

She grumbled and grunted, I glared – I won.

Then the supervisor did that irritating thing and said “You must have misunderstood her, she would NEVER say anything like THAT.”

Uh-huh, yeah, right buddy. I know when my rights have been trampled on.

Then they stashed me in a corner and make me wait extra while they insisted I have a voting booth “out of the way”.

Finally, I was allowed to fill out my ballot. Then one of my daughters started shrieking and I looked down to see why. Apparently one of the poll workers took it upon themselves to steal the library receipt I had given Zanna to amuse herself with.

I know the government is uber-intrusive and privacy-violating when it comes to library records, but stealing them from a BABY is reaching new heights of low, even for them.

I stalked over, plucked it from their grasping paws, gave them my best “thou shalt crumble before me, for I am MAMA” glare, while he stammered and sputtered, and handed the thing back to my daughter who promptly quieted.

I went back to my ballot, finished it up and went over to the scanning machine thingy. I’m pretty sure that’s the official name for it – “the scanning machine thingy”. Comes from latin, or something.

Anyway.

Again, while being urged to move forward to have my ballot scan, there was ANOTHER poll worker blocking my way and refusing to move. I said “Excuse, me sir.” several times but was ignored, so I forged ahead, running over his foot with the double stroller. He looked at me a bit shocked, but tough cookies, fella. Get in the way of a twins mama practicing her fundamental rights at your peril.

I was, by golly, going to participate in the democratic process, or know the reason why! And if I have to mash a few recalcitrant feet to do it, then so be it!