As I write this I am eight days (of active game) into my latest siege on the girls of Tokyo. My trip had a wobbly start, and I am beginning to think that wobbly starts are to be expected. Since then, 50+ approaches. Many leads. Three instant dates. And three proper dates, with three different girls. It is near freezing outside tonight, but things are heating up for this daygamer in the Pussy Paradise that is Tokyo, Japan.

It took me a day or two to get used to just how many girls do NOT speak English here. And while I know it’s not essential at all (I have fucked girls that barely speak English several times), sometimes basic communication DOES matter. I’m used to it (again) now, but it added to my initial awkwardness. Mild culture shock.

And then, four days ago, I was supposedly “warmed up,” and I did 10 approaches and never even had a good moment. Some girls stopped, but I never felt cool, never felt any hint of a bubble forming for me and a given girl.

My friend and wing Sundance likes to say, “One. Good. Set.” That is a reasonable goal for a day out chatting with nubiles. Versus that standard, on this particular day, I failed. Not even a good set. It was awkward. I was awkward.

You ever hit the street and people with their back to you are turning around to look because they can “feel you coming?’ They smell the stink of your vibe that day… it’s giving them the creeps, so they turn around and look? Four days ago, I was that guy. I was so “tight” that I was sending psychic shockwaves through the air. I (wisely) gave up and went off to finish my Jordan Peterson masculinity piece.

Sometimes you have to know when to quit.

But the next day, Friday, was better. Two instant-dates in one afternoon. Three leads total. I had been hustling for a date for that night and it didn’t happen. And yet, it was my first really “solid day” of this trip.

Up until then, I had been having “nightmares” “fantasies” that I would write a post about how I got through this whole eight-week trip, and “never even had a good day.” That is classic daygamer paranoia.

Rust is normal. And needing time to settle into a new city is normal for me as well (even without dumb goals like I set for my daygame trip to NYC). I know I am not excellent, but I am a solid daygamer. Ups and downs, yeah… but I should know that the Day Game Gods can’t hold me down forever.

I had to pay tribute. I had to sacrifice my ego on the altar of my own expectations. I may have to go through that again on this trip. We’ll see.

But, for now, that penance is over. I have atoned (= “at one”). And the Day Game Gods have pulled back the clouds. And let the sunlight of possibility shine on the girls and me.

Let’s get into the dates:

……………………….

I’ll rewind a bit, back to Jan13. That was actually my first real day on the street. I did 11 approaches and I took exactly one number. I had no expectations (yet) and it was fun to be out warming up. I had taken one other lead already, but this was my first street lead of the trip. And she wasn’t my favorite girl of the day, but…

As I was waiting at an intersection she shot me an involuntary IOI (which caught my attention). And then another one (which was why approached).

I chased her down, opened her… and she surrendered immediately. Her English was pretty good. I told her I noticed her eyes, and that she had looked at me, and that is why I came to talk to her. And as she agreed to all that, it was like most of the air suddenly drained out of her balloon. I’m not convinced I read it right, but the moment had a vaguely “sad” feeling to it. (I probably didn’t read it right.) It almost made me like her less. It was an odd moment and an interesting reference experience.

My wings Sundance and YoungGuns were asking about my trip, so I sent them the profile pic of her from her LINE account. They both responded with the same line: “She’s hot.”

But for me it was like this: In person, she was cute, more than cute, sexier than that, but a mid-/high- 7 girl. Maybe “strong 7” is better. Most guys would look at her with some level of desire. But the pic was full makeup, classic “Instagram” type of shot, what I would call “paper hot”… which I am not attracted to at all. A lot of the girls I date wear little/no makeup. I wouldn’t claim the girl was “hot” at this point.

But we’ll call her Miss Hot Pic… in case we have to refer to her again.

I wasn’t that into her, and wasn’t even slightly over-eager about it. So when I didn’t message her right away, she pinged me. Sent me a cartoon image of a super hero. I got to work from there: leading, setting up the date. It was to be my first date of the trip.

When she showed up on the date… she was hotter (for me) than either when we met or that overly-made up face in her LINE pic. She’s too short to be “super hot” for most guys, but I was inspired.

I took her to a favorite spot in Shibuya, but they gave me a bad table (across from each other, interview style)… and that was my fault. I should have asked for “side by side.”

Conversation was very good, though. Some sex talk. She is 19 or 20. She is a student, and has a part-time job as a hostess at a Karaoke bar. Her last BF was… a 35 year old guy. That is likely why she shot me the IOI… older guys seem to be her type. And she is not that into her family… maybe some dad issues here? She wants to get out of Japan. In general, this girl is looking for “something different.” Hmmm.

After the date she had to run off to study. I meant to try to kiss her on the street, even took a better route back to the station that was quieter and more secluded… but I didn’t even try… just wasn’t on my game.

I made her hug me at the train station and it was a terrible hug. For some reason, that made the whole date kind of suck for me… even though I know she was into me based on her body language and the conversation. She likes me. I just didn’t like myself that night.

She messaged me later:

HER: I had a great time today. Thank you:)

She is a polite and feminine girl. I like her. A little basic, but I’d take her out again, for sure. And she liked me. But I was still busy being hard on myself for my relative weak game.. and I was wishing I had done a better job.

I messaged back:

NASH: Yeah. You are a little bit charming.
NASH: I think I need to teach you how to give a more “juicy” hug…

This was almost like a neg… and it was more about my frustration with myself than anything this girl did or didn’t do. That word “juicy” wasn’t bad, it was better (and less bitter) than saying she gave me a “bad” hug (even though she did… the Japanese don’t hug much).

Ehh. I was frustrated. And my street game wasn’t going great yet. I figured she and I would fizzle, but we haven’t.

Lots of messages back and forth with her. She has finals, so I’ll see her this weekend. Maybe. We’ll see.

She is a good girl and very attractive, even if she is my least favorite of the three dates I’ll write about in this post. The sub-par game I ran here got to me a bit… as you can see, lots of expectations.

But every big trip begins somewhere. And I was off and running.

……………………….

The second date was with a Chinese girl. Picked her up on Jan16. She was girl #14 of 14 approaches that day. Great slow walk. As I stopped her, she looked a lot like the Siren.

She is one of at least four or five Chinese girls I’ve stopped in my 50+ approaches here so far. I am definitely targeting Chinese girls. I know it is strange to go after Chinese girls in Japan… but my home city (and daygame) has gifted me with so many great experiences with Chinese girls, that I officially have a “thing” for them.

May the Daygame Gods bless the Chinese girls. May it be so.

This girl was a little surprised at the stop. I thought she wasn’t into it, but I didn’t run off right away. She would look away… and I know now (as I know her better), that she was translating from English to Chinese in her head in those moments.

Reading the signals a girl will give you, on the street or otherwise, can be more difficult than we admit to sometimes.

Her English is not bad. She was surprised, and a bit nervous, but a lot of the distracted/disinterested look I was seeing was simply “translation-lag” in her head.

I took her WeChat. It felt pretty good. I opened her via message later that night while I ate dinner. She came back, consistently, with brief responses.

If you could look at the back and forth between she and I in our very first messages, it’s terribly one-sided, and would look like I am over investing versus her short answers. (I do that all the time… I don’t know if that is a confession or a strength.) But she is very affirmative, and replies quickly… she just doesn’t speak English well, so she keeps it brief.

I’m leading, she is soaking it up, and it’s going well. We scheduled a lunch date for Saturday:

As for “lunch date”… when we met on the street, she was slow, and quiet, and conservative looking (which I like), but I didn’t want to give her one of my nights… I wanted to reserve those in case I found a “racier” date.

This ^ is the sort of “date prioritization gambling” that you do when you have a lot of early-stage leads and a mild Girl Tornado in the works. You have to guess where to put a girl, based on her/your schedule and the likelihood of a good time… or fast sex (depending on how desperately horny I am).

The more dates you successfully schedule… the harder it gets… as you run out of free time… which makes you less flexible… and makes it harder for the girls to date you.

You make offers… and you don’t even know if she’ll get back to you at all… or accept the offer for the slot you’ve made available. I am currently trying to hold Wednesday night for the girl in the next story, but she hasn’t gotten back to me, and that means I’m putting off other girls (I have yet another girl that wants that night) as I try to prioritize the girl below.

This is what spinning plates looks like. This is exactly what it looks like. And it’s hard work.

I have been talking with Magnum, another guy I know from my city, another “International playboy” type. As I read him, he is a very alpha dude. Sort of strong-silent-still superhero type. And he is killing it with online game, even though he is nearly as old as me. And when I say killing it, I don’t mean 35 year old cat ladies (no diss to cats, cats are cool). He just did a tour of Asia and cleaned up. He’s been sharing photos with me… some really beautiful girls. Top shelf, young, feminine beauties. Girls he actually likes and is willing to put some effort into. That is quality. That is what we want.

Magnum is doing very well.

And Magnum double-books a lot… two girls for the same time, assuming someone will flake. I know that is standard procedure. Or how guys like Janka would do three dates in a night… 7 PM, 9 PM, 11 PM. Lance Mason would do an 8 PM and a 10 PM all the time. All this to combat flakes and/or maximize opportunity.

We know girls have no problem cancelling on us:

2nd 1st date of the year tonight with a girl i closed whilst grocery shopping. She doesn't drink and only confirmed 90mins before we were due to meet. Meh.

But I still haven’t taken my plate spinning to that level yet… even times like now, when I could potentially do it, as I have a lot of girls in the works.

I think guys that double-book are very smart, no challenge to their motives or methods. I just don’t want to end up flaking on girls.

We are vulnerable in this game, and getting cancelled on sucks. I don’t like getting cancelled on… it’s almost always a blow to my self-esteem (even in very small ways). So I’d like the “cancellation buck” to stop with me. I don’t double book. I never cancel dates, even when I’m sick. It’s a type of karma thing for me. I know I lose lays and opportunities because of that… but so be it. That’s the way I want to run my game.

……………………….

So back to this girl…

I pinged her on Friday, and she confirmed the date. And I get her out. And she’s on time. And cute.

She shows up dressed in flats, tights, a skirt and a very nice cashmere sweater. She is wearing some kind of incredible perfume and she smells delicious (she says “smell is important”). She seems comfortable right away and I lead her off down the sidewalk into Shibuya, to the same restaurant I took half of my dates last year when I was here.

We sit down side by side and she has me order for both of us. I like that. It happens all the time on my dates… girls always ask me to order for them.

Conversation is what I am used to, mostly me leading the whole time, asking questions and peppering that with personal stories. She claims to be outgoing, but says she doesn’t have that many close friends (maybe because she “studies too much”). She had a hard time answering my question about who her “best friend” might be, saying something like she mostly “goes out in groups.”

She also spends a lot of time alone. I called her an introvert but she rejected that label.

She is in Japan studying Japanese, and plans to be here for three years. When I asked what she might do with that, she said she will likely end up working with her dad. They seem to have a good relationship. Her dad seems to be a successful business guy. Of course he is: he is paying for his daughter to hang out in Tokyo for three years post-college.

As we ordered, she was quick to point to gin and tonic on the menu, which surprised me. She says she drinks a lot, by herself, at home. We each had one drink at lunch, and she wasn’t over eager. I got no signs of her being an alcoholic. I think all that is about her being 22… I’m not sure she knows what heavy drinking is all about.

And she has a tattoo somewhere. Hmmm. Another surprise… many things about this girl surprise me.

We’ll call her Miss Surprise. That fits.

We talked about sex a bit. She has had four boyfriends, and seemed disappointed about that. Like she should have had more, in a vaguely irritated and impatient kind of way. Her first boyfriend, and first sex, was at 18 while she was still in high school.

And she could tell me what kind of girl she might pick out at strip club in Vegas (a question I often ask girls): she would pick a tall, blonde, white girl… but with small boobs, “maybe B cup.” She has kissed her girlfriends before while out drinking, but I don’t get any real sexual interest in other women from her. Who knows. Girls are mysterious.

It was easy to touch her, in a friendly/affectionate way… and also more than that. She would pull away and smile when I would lean towards the lascivious. I had my hand on her knee, all through lunch, each time her laughing and resisting my advances. One time I reached up to her throat and took her necklace in my hand as a form of a spike… She could see in my eyes that I did it on purpose and she gave me a series of tiny slaps on my arm.

I invited her back to my place to “drink tea and listen to music.,” She told me she had plans with friends, but first she said, “of course not!” and smiled, and gave me a knowing look. A little bit of spice there as I hinted at my intentions. She got the message. Smart girl.

She was still following my lead but I decided to ditch her so I could go daygame and source some new girls to feed the Tornado.

I walked her back toward her train and I made her give me a hug… which was much better than the one from Miss Hot Pic in the date story above.

She wasn’t trying to run off. So, I took her by the shoulders and pulled her in so I could talk into her ear, saying: I’m not going to kiss you here as I don’t want to embarrass you in front of all the people at the station… and I went to plant one on her cheek. Right at that minute I bet she had translated the word “kiss” in her head. She laughed and jumped back and smiled, proud of her quickness in the presence of a dangerous man.

Great dance with this girl. Fun date.

As I left her I was in a great mood and totally into her. Not in a “uuuge” way, but in the way dating should feel much of the time. When we are lucky. Playful and organic, but with a sexual undercurrent. And like I wanted to sink my teeth into her.

……………………….

I walked off to my place and then headed out to do some afternoon daygame on the busy streets near my apartment. My logistics on this trip are very good.

I did 13 more approaches that afternoon. Maybe it was the drink clearing out of me, but I was exhausted. I have a nice route that takes me about 40 minutes for a complete loop. I forced myself to do one more lap as I had only taken one lead and it wasn’t that strong. Last girl of the day was a tall, pretty girl. She is the girl in the next story.

After that, I was low and out of gas. I took myself to dinner near my place. I waited until the food and beer had kicked it before I got back into my Girl Tornado maintenance. As the calories and alcohol had their effect on my mood (“don’t text when you’re a bad mood,” I told myself)… I started working my leads.

I had new girls. And I had pinged some of the open-connections from my last trip the night before… and my phone was lit up with unanswered messages.

For Sunday (the next day), I had a date scheduled with a girl I had picked up earlier in the week. Very cute young girl, dressed in all black. I had pinged her earlier in the day and she had messaged me while I ate to cancel our date. Her excuse being that she had a work dinner that came up. Hmmm.

I was a tiny bit disappointed, but things were going well and free time can mean more time for daygame… a chance to turn disappointment into opportunity… and the chance for more instant-dates (I’d had three already)… or the possibly to pickup someone new for a replacement date… and maybe even a SDL. I had met a girl on a Sunday in these streets before… and taken her, via a couple of bounces, to my house, and fucked her. It can happen.

Not bad for a days work. I walked home and went to bed.

……………………….

It was now Sunday morning and it was beautiful out. I had had a great night sleep. I went off to Starbucks to do some work. As I sat down I pinged a few more leads and chatted with folks back in my city on WhatsApp. I also pinged the girl whose number I’d taken on that last, exhausted lap through the streets the night before…

We’ll call her Tall Girl.

My message to this girl was something light to get us started. And then I went back to working on some client business.

As I sat on my “throne” in a very comfortable Starbucks in the middle of a department store, a girl walked in… and there was just something about her. She was over 30 but there was something very on between us as she gobbled up my eye contact. She initially did a double-take on me as I stared her down, and then as she was sure I was eye-fucking her, she glanced back and gave me a little smile.

I tried to work, but I was distracted…

……………………….

Just then Tall Girl replied to my text. She said:

TALL GIRL: By the way, I am in Omotesando now

Hmm. Okay.

I felt the bait of “now,” but I was trying to work.

NASH: I am working, but I’d like to see you.
NASH: Are you free for dinner tonight? Or maybe tomorrow?
TALL GIRL: I’m free now

Hmm.

TALL GIRL: But not available tonight or tomorrow
TALL GIRL: I can have a tea free time now

Hmm. I got this strange feeling like she was trying to say she wanted to see me “now.”

I was compromising my work here… changing my plans because some girl was asking for some time. That is -1 for masculine integrity. But I was hoping this girl was shopping for some afternoon adventure sex… she was definitely pushing for a the meet up in a way I don’t see often. It was worth a shot.

……………………….

But before I left Starbucks, I had this other girl to manage… the one right in front of me… the one that I had engaged in a staring contest a few moments ago… I still had her to wrangle.

I packed up my stuff, walked over and opened her. She popped open, and I squeezed into the space next to her and we chatted for about two minutes. Good vibe. The chemistry with this girl was so hot, I was less solid than I usually am… the sexual electricity in the air was making me something like nervous… more like “too excited.” I’m not always cool, but this was an unusual state for me.

I took her number and we talked about dinner for the next night, a Monday. She was into it. So was I. Even though the set was quick, it felt solid.

And I headed off to meet Tall Girl.

……………………….

I show up to the cafe and she was sitting on the patio, two sips deep into a Corona. She looked lovely. Casual clothes, a mild unassuming attitude, but very fine, clean, good looks. Healthy hair and a clear, soft face. A high 7. I sat down and started my usually mix of stories and questions.

She is from northern Japan. She has a job doing marketing for a major beverage company. I am guessing she is 25-27. She is also a student. She is back in school taking classes of some kind. She was charming, simple and sweet.

She isn’t certain Tokyo is for her… she seems like she wants a quieter life. Reminds me of a Japanese version of a mild-mannered Southern Belle. Demure and charming. She’ll make a great wife and mother, someday. She is a k-selecting girl, I think, and I liked her for it.

And she’s sexy… maybe not “hot,” but only because she doesn’t push her sexuality out at all. Delicious to look at, but polite, mild, and passive.

And almost as tall as me. I checked her out as I led her out of the cafe, pushing her ahead of me to squeeze between tables. Thin-long legs and an inspiring ass in tight denim. I made a comment about her being tall… and mentioned her legs. Her eyes got a tiny bit bigger in recognition. Spike, spike.

After lunch, I asked what the rest of her day looked like… I was very sexually hungry, and fantasizing about sex, in the daylight of my apartment, with this tall classic beauty. But… she had plans that night (that’s why she couldn’t have dinner with me in the first place). I invited her back to my house to “talk and listen to music,” but she said she had to study… and showed me her homework. It was very cute. She wanted to study with me while I did some more work, but again… daygame and new girls were calling me.

I took her down the street for the best cookie in Tokyo. She loves chocolate. Good girl. I held her hand. She said she needs to finish her exams this week and then she can see me again. We shall see.

Good date. I like her… and I would love to see her naked. Curious to see what she is like when she relaxes… I am curious to know if we can make that sweet kitten purr.

I hit the street and did 16 more approaches. Some interesting sets, including the Russian model (I mentioned on Twitter), and a dazzlingly cute girl from Hong Kong (that was leaving the next day, and had plans for her last night) and… some more stories I’ll save for later.

……………………….

There we go.

I was sick for a week. Then, a little coffee shop game and some unfocused incidental approaches and leads here/there. Then the proper street sessions. And some instant-dates. And then these proper dates.

Nice girls. Not even a makeout. But a good start.

And the Tornado is rumbling and getting noisy with the hum and whistle of feminine energy. I like it.

72 Responses to TYO: Three Dates, Spinning Plates, and Double-Booking

Nice write-up, sounds like it’s going well so far. I’m curious why you picked Tokyo over somewhere like Shanghai or Beijing, seeing as you’re after Chinese girls in particular and are gaming in English (China as a whole are way better English speakers than Japan in my experience). Shanghai especially is a fun-as-hell town :)

If you’re staying in Shibuya this might screw with you logistics a little but you’ll probably find a bigger ratio of Chinese in Ikebukuro (take the lime-green colored JR Yamanote line via Shinjuku straight there from Shibuya). This is because there’s easy transport links to there from the more rural areas of Tokyo their expat communities have built up. Incidentally, for Koreans (my personal fave) head to Shin-Okubo, also on the Yamanote Line. Enjoy! ;)

Cool man, I love Japan and J-girls too, spent plenty of time there. Never been to Taiwan but heard great things. Singapore and Hong Kong are smaller but both excellent English and awesome. Many lesser known cities in China too. There’s a ton of fun and rewarding cities out there in East Asia for street game. I definitely recommend branching out if you enjoy a bit of adventure. Always good for a man to have more options.. haha

Here I will represent a POV that a man should know his territory. There is “novelty” and there is “mastery,” and they are rarely the same thing.

Part of my game is to stay in one place. A man on the move is usually at a disadvantage…
he is a weak as the girls… relying on others to show him the way… as he doesn’t know the territory. This works at many levels. “Knowing the territory” is deep issue for a man.

So I am may try to hit a range of shallow/deep with the girls here, but with the city… I have depth now. I know this place pretty well… and the girls can tell. They tell me that… a girl did on a date tonight. Mastery. That’s leverage for a man.

I lived in Tokyo for many years, and agree that knowing the city, being in tune with local culture and especially the common ways of thinking of a girl who grew up there is key, something many expats still never bother to figure out. I’d completely disagree with you on points about novelty and weakness sampling different places, sounds like self-rationalisation to me. Unless you’re thinking of a guy constantly moving, treating every place the exactly same and the girls likewise, not immersing themselves… in that case, sure. I’d agree with that. What I’ve found to be true, is that a man with deep knowledge and understanding (from experience) of many cultures, countries and nationalites of girls is almost never in a situation where he feels weak. More comfortable than almost anyone in fact. Your game seems to suit you though and results are on the way, so if it aint broke..

>>You ever hit the street and people with their back to you are turning around to look because they can “feel you coming?’ They smell the stink of your vibe that day… it’s giving them the creeps, so they turn around and look? Four days ago, I was that guy. I was so “tight” that I was sending psychic shockwaves through the air.

Nash, do you use some of the stuff in Tyler’s HS@H and Krauser’s Daygame Infinite to work on your vibe?

I was out on the street using Krauser’s basic pointers today… proximity and eye contact… and once touching.

Especially stepping in… I tried that over and over today… to ride the line. I think that is UUUUGE.

But I have always liked SOIs (statement of intent). I am very direct. I have no problem telling a girl that I like her… and various more edgy versions of that.

I have a lot of learn here… spiking is easier when you’re entitled.

But… I will say this… if a girl “gets you.” I mean, if something between you/her “revs your engine,” tell her. That is a massive, real, unscripted and authentic way to spike.

On a date tonight, she was very nervous… but at one point, she gave me a look where she had some sexual power. And I immediately felt it. It almost knocked me over. And I reacted, and exaggerated it a bit. And then talked to her, in an authentic way, about what she had just done to me.

This ^ is pure emotional currency. And is a very hot, but slow-burn way to spike… that’s some Octopus Game stuff, as I see it.

I understand exactly what you mean here, and it is also exactly how my game spikes girls. It’s like they stay in an above average excited state all throughout, rather than me doing some spike spike spike high intensity game.

Infinite is the best/brightest stuff I’ve ever seen on that topic. That book is head/shoulders above most “PUA” thinking. Krauser is a genius.

And a lot of us will have figured some of that out on our own… if we’ve been at it enough.

For months I have been doing light stretching as I start out.

And I used to do a drill where I would LOOK for 5 things (colors/textures/electricity/motion/eyes) and then HEAR for any 4 things and then FEEL for any 3 things and then SMELL for any 2 things and then TASTE for any one thing… all to tune me into the environment (I stole that drill from somewhere, but I don’t know the source).

I often pray to the DAY GAMES GODS… in part as a statebooster.

In NYC, I was very good about avoiding FB and political arguments on days when I was going out.

This is all pre-Krauser’s book… but I was more and more into vibe as the engine to real success.

And these days, I think having a WING is a big deal… and Sundance/The Cigar/YoungGuns/Vicar/Runner… all give me a solid +1 on vibe. If I had had a wing here, I would have popping off much better.

Agreed, Janka’s stuff is fantastic. Its so obvious his work is all written purely from his own (quite numerous) experiences, and not nearly as ‘heady’ as some other writers in this area can get with their books… which I personally
appreciate.

>>You ever hit the street and people with their back to you are turning around to look because they can “feel you coming?’ They smell the stink of your vibe that day… it’s giving them the creeps, so they turn around and look? Four days ago, I was that guy. I was so “tight” that I was sending psychic shockwaves through the air.

“If more than one explanation is possible, a conclusion about one of them cannot be reliable.”
– The Scientific Method

I experienced this a lot last weekend and my vibe was far from creepy. I had some positive momo and vibes. That said I weaseled on every damn one. It’s not good and, paradoxically, by not opening actually makes me creepy. DO YOUR JOB SUNDANCE!

An alternative and more likely scenario: she noticed you and your Johnny Fucking Cash look. Her attention was still on you (now behind her) and wherever her attention goes her spidey sense is directed to as well. You running up to her triggered the spidey alarms, but she doesn’t know if it’s you or someone else. Her reference experiences probably don’t lead her to think “I bet its JFC”.

I realized this happens after opening a Russian model and she gave me nothing on her drive-by. Just as I came into her FOV, to wheel around, she started to form a smile. The first words out of her mouth after I opened where, “I noticed you…” Her attention had lingered on me and her spidey alarms had gone off. She’s a Russian model though – she holds the line – it might be a big ask for introverted asian girls.

I want to make a distinction between this and The Tremble that Krauser talked about.

Sometimes, girls notice I am going to open them and their spidey alarm is triggered in a negative way. I notice that in how their body language goes into avoidance mode. Other times they just go into full-on attraction spike triggered by the approach itself.

The Tremble, I notice it even before I fully see the girl or start approaching her. It’s pretty weird, it looks like the girl is vibrating if that makes sense. She stands out from the crowd to me in that way. Every single approach to a girl like that is SOOOO OPEN. I explain this as me being able to see a girl who is ovulating. Not all of the girls who display The Tremble are single, some tell me they have a boyfriend BUT they want the approach and want me to talk to them and touch them and do that whole thing. I normally though when I know a girl has a boyfriend, I do not pursue it further, so no clue if such girls can be had further than the enjoyment of being in the presence touched and octopussied by a real Top Guy.

Another person explained it as the girl knowing she is available and will go along with any guy who approaches her well, so The Tremble is her trying to hold herself still and to control herself in a moment of weakness.

The Tremble girls are the best approaches you can ever have. The Spikey Alarm girls often just give a harsh scared rejection.

I don’t pick girls though based on whatever signs of openness they are displaying. I approach all the girls I see that I find attractive. The Tremble girls, I always approach: nothing turns a man on than finding girls like that because they do look turned on even before you open them. They look like they are vibrating and already walking around with anime eyes and sensually in touch with their bodies. They tingle. Even their breathing is deep.

I don’t say I see girls like that often. But my Spidey Sense just pulls my eyes towards them whenever they are around.

We are use to front stops…they are from from normal for 95% of the population.

Do you notice, now after all your approaching, how your version of personal space is different than 99% of other people. I regularly hold the line (on the subway, crossing paths on a collision course for a near miss, etc.), but 8 months ago…no chance.

Running = danger in our reptile brain. It’s as simple as that. If her attention, and therefore her spidey sense, is tuned in behind her it doesn’t take much to hit “fight or flight” mode.

The tool to use upon startling is rock back on to your back foot, palms open and face up, and something bigger than a smirk for a smile, and consider calling out what’s going on…take it easy on the direct/cocky funny game…her fear already did it’s job.

>> I experienced this a lot last weekend and my vibe was far from creepy. I had some positive momo and vibes.
— Sundance

When you and I are super on… and we get a LOT of IOIs (a good wing can completely change the game… I am more/more into this), that is a little bit like what I’m talking about… but it’s more in the EYES…. they can see our value… as we’re vibing off each other. A deep,solid, shared vibe is very attractive.

>> Sometimes, girls notice I am going to open them and their spidey alarm is triggered in a negative way. I notice that in how their body language goes into avoidance mode
— Chulo

This ^ is what I’m talking about. But on this day, X10.

And sometimes, it’s so strong, they haven’t seen me at all, no way, impossible… but they can FEEL me. It’s sixth sense stuff.

I sometime talk about my time on the dancefloor (where I do NOT run game)… and I am very tuned in… and I am an “energy cop,” and can feel my/everyone’s vibe in that state… I get creeped out super easy when I’m in that zone… I attract a lot of attention as a dancer, and I can always feel when someone is trying to poach on that… it freaks me out… it’s violent feeling… and I think my read (on the dancefloor, not the street) is near perfect… I can feel “neediness” at 20 paces. As a dancer, I spend a lot of the night avoiding “suck” energy… I move around constantly to avoid it.

And occasionally I spook people there too… and I try to focus on the music to get my mind off myself, and that “creep” vibe dies quickly. If I can’t get it under control… I move to the edge of the party… so I don’t create a “dead spot.”

All this is very weird stuff to say, I know, but I have WAY too much experience to 2nd guess it. “Emotional radar” is real… particularly if someone is bugging out.

I’m not saying I was needy… but I was SELF CONSCIOUS. And that… you can feel.

This is part of why I advise against canned lines or long scripted stories/openers or any serious complexity. It’s not only that that stuff is stiff and awkward, but all that attn on your own script… makes you self conscious.

Self conscious is death. To Chulo’s point… this could be seen as “stifled” (credit RSD TYler), but even beyond that.

I mentioned “atoned.” The Christians talk about that in a negative way, about “coming back in, after penance.” Typical Judo/Christian unbalanced read. But the Eastern folks translate it to “at one.” It’s a play on words, but a powerful one. Being self conscious is the opposite of being “at one” with the street… and girls will feel it.

People were flipping out that day, as I was way too self conscious, even though I was in a good mood. I just wasn’t “loose.” They could feel it. I was an emotional siren… even as my body movements were fine, even “confident” looking. I could see the impact of my vibe playing out in front of me, like a movie. And it got worse, as I start to react to those reactions… I spiralled up into more self conscious stiffness.

I knew I was out of wack… mostly because of other folks use of emotional radar.

This happens to me a lot… but it usually fades as I become “one” with the street over a few approaches or some time.

This day, I was an emotional lability… so I quit. That was a smart move. It happens. “Poison vibe.”

>>It’s not only that that stuff is stiff and awkward, but all that attn on your own script… makes you self conscious

I have that emotional radar as well and know exactly what you mean.

My main question is: how can I “improve” and work on my social skills and game yet not get self conscious?

I mean because of this my game is better, since I am much more honest, yet I could be much cooler and fun to talk to if I worked on it.

I do though notice some guys like Todd, Torero and his guys in Hustle On, Tyler from a few years ago, etc. When they game, it comes off “sleazy”, as if they are acting even now after years of practice.

Even Krauser, who I look up to, looks like he is “acting” when he facing the camera here:

It’s just that some of the things that might improve my game don’t seem that much fun to me: taking validation away from a girl, telling her I don’t like her while I do, telling her I am a bad man or talking to other girls just to get pre-selection, or not touching her unless I disqualify first.

I like to enjoy the femininity of a girl and caress her soft skin and look into her child-like eyes and stay close feeling her energy, as if there is nobody else in the world but her and me.

I guess I thought I was wrong for doing that for a while. I thought it’s a beta thing to get rid of. But thanks God for you Nash talking about Octopus Game and also for Sundance’s comment on Rake game.

That is congruent to me, it is natural to me, it is fun for me, it brings me joy.

However, I have to be more in tune with myself: whether I am sticking to it because it is fun, or because there is a fear of change somewhere.

That’s why I might need to test some other styles of game. However, they won’t be congruent to me, which will mess up the results. So how do you, Nash, learn yet not get into your head?

Or, do you pick and choose things from the other styles that resonate with you, and what doesn’t, you just let it go without testing it?

All k-selected girls would sleep fast with the right guy at the right time.

If you like her more because she is k-selected, she will pick up on you not being a “fast sex” guy, and so you might not get that girl because she will delay sex even further for you to confirm to you she is k-selected.

While some douchebag dude who is entitled would come along on a day she is horny, fuck her raw, come deep inside her and leave her broken hearted.

Take care of those girls, man. Be the fun non-judgmental guy, because you’ll be a much better man to these girls than such douches. But by giving off an air of “wolf”, you’re just shooting yourself in the foot especially that you’re not looking for a serious relationship or a wife, so the subtext would be the wrong frame.

I just mean that if liking that a girl is k-selected comes from being deep inside a guy that would settle with an exceptional girl, then even if you run r-game, there would be a subtle vibe that you’re a monogamy type of guy and just be shooting yourself in the foot.

It’s subtle and girls can pick up on it. Time to breed your inner rabbit and let the wolf take a vacation :)

The rest of the video is worth noting too. Tyler shifted his whole game into the Rabbit paradigm but he doesn’t make a distinction between Alpha and Beta if you read between the lines there; just like Krauser noted that Alpha and Beta are all Wolves, so the girl can sense they — deep down — value monogamy.

Tyler in Hotseat at Home talked about how any time he did not present himself as an experience (the fuckboy, the rabbit), girls would string him along for 6 month dates. Because a non-rabbit is an investment for the girl, so she judges it as an investment. But if you’re the rabbit fun guy, you’re an experience, it’s not serious, there are no consequences.

Ok, to be more specific: a rabbit understand women are hypersexual and LOVE sex (read Sex at Dawn if you want to shift your mind into that), he doesn’t judge or care about a woman’s sexual history, he doesn’t put pressure or pursue the girl (she can take it or leave it, he is having fun and if she’s there, they’ll have fun together, if not, he’ll enjoy himself and other stimulations). In a way, a rabbit is chasing shiny objects, and the girl needs to hold his attention, and sex just happens with him.

Like Max is talking about her, that he just stays with the girl having fun, he doesn’t really push towards sex and just “lets it happen”. That is rabbit behavior, because if you’re escalating for sex it means you give a fuck, she is important to you, and your value drops:

In a weird twisted way, because women want the highest value guy they can have, the more you don’t give a fuck about her, the higher value she feels then you are compared to her, the more she likes you. If you start giving a fuck, you then show you are in the wolf paradigm (either an Alpha King looking for his queen or a beta looking for his Madonna).

Look, the deep issue behind the wolf and the rabbit is this (and you can learn more in Sex at Dawn): girls LOVE sex. They show evidence in that book that some of the conclusions of evolutionary biology is wrong. Women are NOT guarding their eggs, women are made to be hypersexual and to enjoy sex all the time not just when they are ovulating. The problem is with society: women are “caged” and forced to be good girls, and so they have to filter themselves and feel stifled fearing the judgement of others.

IF YOU ARE THE RABBIT BOY she knows there is zero judgement because you don’t give a fuck about how much of a slut she is and you have zero interest in a monogamous relationship. You value fun so she can drop her guard and be a raging whore with you (you can see in Sex at Dawn that ALL WOMEN ARE BIOLOGICALLY RAGING SLUTS, then society forces them to be stifled and stuck up).

IF YOU ARE A WOLF, whether you are an Alpha or a Beta, she has to be stifled. She knows at some level you may be evaluating her as a potential relationship partner (even if you are an Alpha sleeping around, if you would fall for a girl, you are not a rabbit). So she cannot be unstifled and be herself and let loose with you. She cannot show you she is a raging slut and would love to be DPed and fucked by two guys (check Nancy Friday to see how frequent it is for women to have the sexual fantasy of being fucked by multiple guys). Anyway, like I said, if at any level you catch feeling for her even slightly (like Nash said he liked the girl more because she is K-selected, meaning she increased in value to him BECAUSE HE FELT SHE IS LOOKING FOR A RELATIONSHIP), it means at some level you are evaluating her as a relationship partner, so all her societal conditioning of what it means to be a good relationship partner (be hard to get, have sex slow, have sex with only one man, be virginal, have vanilla non-kinky sex) all that kicks in and she gets stifled right then and there.

This all goes back to Vin DiCarlo’s discovery from 10 years ago: there is something that women value much more than money in a man or success or anything else, which is the ability to be 100% herself around him. When a woman is totally free to be her true self, including her super slut self with you, she is totally happy and becomes addicted to you and fucked your brain out. You are truly special and of value to her.

But the slightest hint of judgement displayed by you means she cannot be herself. You are a wolf. Wolves judge. Rabbits do not judge, they just fuck profusely and have fun and enjoy the moment.

So when Nash judges a girl as better because she is more conservative (he liked her more because of it) that conservative girls CANNOT be unstifled around him because like I said you can check Sex at Dawn to know that the biology of women makes them desire to have a lot of sex but if he is judging her positively or negative it means he is a wolf, the judging type, and therefore she cannot be an easy sex girl with him, she has to make him jump through hoops so that he likes her more.

But if he sees all girls as equal and the same, raging sluts who are wet all the times (even if it’s an exaggeration, it’s a GREAT mindset), then they can relax, drop their guard, be themselves (which makes them happy) and can have sex with him because if there is no judgement, it’s just fun sex, it doesn’t count. When there is judgement, sex isn’t only fun now, but sex is a way for her to prove to you she is a good girl since you like girls more because they are “good girls”.

And you can notice that Tyler shifted his game to total retard guy game. Not because being retarded is what gets girls. But because the retarded fun guy is an archetype of a guy who doesn’t judge girls and is not looking for a relationship, so they can let loose and stop guarding themselves around him, which naturally leads to sex.

FU Yohami, I fucked 6 virgin Asian girls on the first or second date in 1 year (among many non virgins) by doing the rabbit octopus thing. I stumbled into it because I literally had zero interest in a relationship and had only desire for the girls, no other investment, now I understand the theory too.

You’re a funny guy btw, you’re like the OG, bringing the old school PUA vibes :)

Chulo… I love what you’re bringing to the tight little community on this blog. Bring it.

But…

When Yohami said “give it a year and come back” it had a certain ring of truth that I trust.

It is clear that I see tremendous value in the way Yohami is trying to shape our thinking. And I “gave it a year” and AS I DID GAME WITH YOHAMI CONCEPTS IN MIND… I could see his POV much easier.

Give it a year, man. At this point… you won’t have a choice. You can’t look away once you’re (c) #yohamipilled. I tried. And I’m glad I failed to prove Yohami wrong… I am much better now.

YMMV… but if you “give it a year and come back” (come back “intellectually”, in the meantime, please continue your excellent comments here), I think you will come around to at least some of Yohami’s POV. And you will benefit tremendously from that. And so will the girls we seduce.

>> Enough of theory, get out there, crash and burn, iterate.
— Yohami

I have another good case study coming today/tomorrow… and I am building in more Yohami analysis.

We are doing interesting work here, gentlemen.

I thank you all. Tremendous gratitude to this community. I have studied a lot, and this is a special collection of conversations.

Btw, Yohami, I don’t think there is fundamentally a contradiction between what you talk about and the concept of the Rabbit. It’s just confusion over terms.

Krauser came up with the name Rabbit as a pejorative term. I think Krauser still has some anger issues over swallowing the red pill. This is because Rabbit boys have A LOT more sex than any other man on the planet, they are like the top 0.1% and Krauser feels anger that women would drop it all to fuck such a guy fast rather than an “upstanding honest good man” like Krauser used to be.

So let’s define the terms right. What Krauser calls a rabbit is simply a Top Guy who makes the girl SO WET through his energy, presence, enjoyment of life and actions that her brain shuts off completely so she has no ability to play games or to think of a relationship potential or anything like that.

With such a guy, a girl is turned on so much, in the moment so much, in his frame so much that she is his 100% and there is nothing else that exists in the world.

So he is a Top Guy, just a Top Guy whose game is focused on turning the girl on until she loses all capacity for logic or judgement, she just follows him 100%, and as Jeffy says, he can distort her reality at will.

That is all. It doesn’t mean a loser or whatever. Just that the goal is to shut the girl’s brain and let her pussy flood with wetness. Therefore, any display of success, of relationship vibe, of being a good boyfriend material would be counter productive because it would re-ignite her brain which then will delay sex because there will be an internal fight inside, what Krauser calls “odd forebrain/hindbrain conflict.”

So the goal as Krauser puts it is to: “Brain fry” the girl so that “her hindbrain has so overwhelmingly decided to fuck that it’s impeached her forebrain from control of her actions”.

That is all. It is simple. It doesn’t contradict anything you are saying. Just the word rabbit is chosen on purpose by Krauser to degrade such top 0.1% players probably out of jealousy.

It is Top Guy that makes the girl so wet she loses any logical thinking. He also avoids anything that might bring back her logical thinking like judging her potential as a girlfriend or her sexual past or showing he is an exceptional patriarch or whatever. He is still a Top Guy so he’ll fuck the girl, just that anything that distracts from her getting wetter means the sex won’t be as fast as it could have been.

Here is how Krauser talked about his results after he started doing the Rabbit / Hyper-sexual Top Guy game:

“I’ll often experience the peculiar situation where she is extremely giddy and says things like “I don’t know why I’m following you home” or “My brain has stopped working”. It means her hindbrain has so overwhelmingly decided to fuck that it’s impeached her forebrain from control of her actions. The early stages of this I often call “brain fry”.”

The whole rabbit vs wolf is misleading, specially with these labels. It’s the wrong map. I can lay down (again) what’s the proper map but it’s better, and easier, for you, to go out there with different maps, krauser, mine, RSD’s etc and try to match reality and see for yourself what works better.

For rabbit vs wolf specifically – be suspicious of anything that is coming out of resentment. What I do at all times is to stop the story and ask on every ‘frame’ – is it true?

Watch the girls and the men they bang, is ‘rabbit’ a word that matches the behavior of these dudes?

When you say ‘fun’, what IS fun?

Or, you shared the video of that homeless guy who gets laid. In the video there are also other men, his friends, who don’t get laid. What’s the difference between them? lets say they are all homeless, is that all it takes?

Can you go homeless and start getting laid like a champ?

Can you “switch off” your judgement of women and be “fun” and “no relationship prospect” and start getting laid like a champ immediately?

Or is there something else?

How do you explain (to yourself, and within this frame) that Julien bases his entire game about actively judging the girl? why do negs work if judging is bad? why is drama attractive if ‘fun’ is where the gold is? why do all the RSD guys roleplay relationship things very early in the seduction if being ‘no relationship material’ is where the gold is? why do all the girls who Nash bangs for a while start switching the tone to be in a relationship, if relationship was never on the plate?

Wrong map, that’s why things don’t match.

I can lay it down for you and probably will, as these writedowns are fun and useful for me, but, get out of your head and match and mix the maps against reality. Try your thing. Be a ‘rabbit’ and see where that leads you. See you on the other side.

>>For rabbit vs wolf specifically – be suspicious of anything that is coming out of resentment.

Just to clarify, I love Krauser, I think he is one of the most brilliant minds of our generation when it comes to Daygame and the mating process. The guy is just on another level.

I also recognize that he is a bit rough. He seems to enjoy conflict, that’s why he antagonizes any groups he doesn’t like. In this case, he likes to call the Top 0.1% of guys that get the most girls (So exponentially, the Top 0.1% get 10X more women than the Top 1%), he uses the label Rabbit because they live in so much abundance they can be fickle and capricious.

Tyler here talks about how the Top 0.1% guys simply do not give a fuck so much they can become stinky, live in a dirty house, have an old car that is beat up and do nothing with their lives because they have no motivation to do so since they sleep with hundreds of girls.

They lose all ambition because they have an over-abundance of hot women pursuing them:

It matches what Krauser talks about. Fuckboys are often societal losers. Some argue it is a requirement, and I can understand that because it disqualifies them from being a relationship material so girls have no reason to delay sex. Others might argue it is BECAUSE they get girls so easily then they have no incentive to do much with their lives.

Arguing makes no sense – look at what women respond to. When they are interacting with the guy, what are they getting out of it? how does the guy handles them? which buttons does he press? which traps does he avoid? and to bring it back to my core message in this thread, is he behaving like a top guy, or a bottom guy?

The guy Tyler talks about in the video, says something like:

“I’ve got a bald spot on my head, the bitches think I am attainable now, bitches think they have a chance, haha!”

Is that “women are the prize and I must find ways to fry their forebrain” – or is it “women are hungry vaginas and I better screen them first”?

Is he the man being hunted down by women, or is he the hunter of women?

The second guy who doesn’t change his tshirt – he goes to girls saying ‘do you like my scent’ and hugs them. his car is dying but he says “I believe in this car” Is that a top guy frame or a bottom guy frame?

What do you think is going on? is the first guy ‘pushing away the hungry vaginas’ and the second one just taking girls as he pleases – because?

Try wearing a bad tshirt and driving a shitty car

This is what will happen

You’ll be pushed down by your environment – the feedback you will get is that you are shit.

Then its HOW YOU REACT TO THAT. Do you push that feedback down and elevate yourself, or do you go down with it? do you accept the rejection “Im a loser” or do you push for “Im the best”.

“Im the best” is what’s attractive. Being in a loser position in life will make people attack you, or, you get rejection and negative loops, then after that it’s how you handle it – and if you handle these from a top guy frame, then you also get feedback for that frame, too. In the case of the girls you get them wet assuming your loser status didn’t dissuade them on the first stage (which will happen to most of the girls).

Flip that – if you’re successful and at the top and center you also get attacked, and it’s the same peacock effect. Then it’s how you handle it. If you are weak and mellow you lose, and if you handle it from top guy frame you multiply it. With girls, that means they came around because they naturally gravitate towards the top and center of all their social groups, and then the top frame feedback loop makes them wet – so they are blown out to the space.

And all the guys in the middle are invisible – so they have to go around chasing girls, trying to show that though they are not at the top they actually have what it takes to be top guy (which is mostly not the case), while the girls try to run away in their hunt for an actual top guy (and sometimes stumbling on one).

So it doesn’t matter if you shower or have a broken car etc – at the end of the day if you want success with women and tangible skills you’ll have to move your frame to top guy. Otherwise you’ll be offcenter, and any skills you get will make you unbalance because that – you’ll be pulling moves from ‘another man’ so any rewards you get from these wont be ‘for you’, it’s a game where everything just slips away all the time. It’s a constant chase uphill, while other (better) men just have all that stuff ‘coming naturally to them’. To that your response should be to snap out of it, or what I call ‘stop the madness’, understand the rules of the game and make them work for you, aka develop your own gravity, become the prize.

How? well right now what are you scared of? beat that. Get into situations where you have to display the behaviors (command, lead, dominate, exec, responsibility), find a role model and try to be that person, imitate, then find the things inside of you that resist it and kill these things. Repeat until it comes second nature. Find what you have to change in you so all these things are natural. Most of the things that need to go away are your own desires – the desires that made you get into Game to begin with – because these are desires of the wrong frame. For example you may desire to ‘be saved’ and this needs to be replaced with ‘you don’t need saving’ (and you have to take care of all the adjustments in your life until this makes sense. You may be after girls approval as it makes you feel confident – and this needs to be replaced by “im confident no matter what, and girls get their confidence from me” and you have to do all the life adjustments where this is true and it doesn’t take your energy. So it is imitation, followed by life changes where this thing is your normal default behavior and is frictionless, and a lot of paying attention to your own state.

Better if you can do it in every aspect of your life simultaneously, so it’s not something you do three times a week for two hours a session (pickup) but something that is there at all times and is who you become.

In my case I entered many social groups and aimed to be the cool guy in such groups. I socialized everybody I met along the way. Practiced many ways to introduce myself and paid attention to what worked and not, then figured who I had to be so these things were true. I filled questionnaires guessing what a womanizer would say till the results said I was a womanizer, then put all my own answers in practice until they were true. Etc. But all the time I didn’t really know what I was doing.

What I had to find was the ‘top guy frame’ that is above the ‘bottom guy frame’. That’s the ‘state’ the puas try to reach in frenetic loops of positive feedback, and what most RSD call now “the place where your game is coming from”, and it’s the mythical alpha and the beta is wired to hate and fear because it cannot compete with.

“game is focused on turning the girl on until she loses all capacity for logic or judgement”

That frame is still assuming that the normal posture of the girl is to be guarded, and that you push against it with your tricks until she’s so turned on her logic and judgement stops working and you manage to get in.

This is bottom guy frame.

And it doesn’t match reality either, or doesn’t match it in its entirely. Here’s the cue:

Girls don’t live in a rational world built on logical judgement and with well set walls. All girls have is emotion. When you’re being rejected, it’s also her emotions doing it. There’s no ‘turning off her logic’ because it was never turned on. From your side, because you’re a man and you do have a logic thread (just see our conversations here), the task is for YOU to stop dealing with her as IF she had a logical thread, and start talking to her emotions instead, where she actually lives.

So this is a wall that is ‘not there’ as in ‘she doesn’t have it’ but something for YOU to move out of your own way.

The bottom guy sees the damsel on the top of the pedestal and wonders how to get there. Wrong frame.

The top guy sees a hungry vagina that actually needs to be screened because it may not be an entirely good idea to put his dick there.

Guess which frame produces what when you put in in contact with the girl’s.

Also, Yohami, how does one become a Top Guy rather than imitate being a Top Guy?

A lot of PUAs become robotic and look like an actor playing a Top Guy role. So even after years and years, there is still something “off” about them, that it’s a role, not their truth being communicated.

So since you started from an Incel frame, how do you change your beliefs to embrace all of what it means to be Top Guy so it is you, something you are, not something you do.

Tall guy with confidence and an emotional story has a spotlight moment throwing the inaugural pitch at a baseball game. He does an horrible pitch, missing the area by a lot, the ball flies on a curve and hits some pink shirted fat guy on the groin. The tall guy now loses all his confidence and walks away humiliated.

Stop the frame.

That’s the guy getting to the top and center of the tribe, doing his ‘dick swing’, failing, and admitting defeat. All very human and normal. His ambition is to do better, he fails, that pushes him down on the tribe, now he has to climb up. This is the moving of a top guy frame, to a bottom guy frame, all due to the feedback loop that is tied to his performance.

Now imagine that after hitting the fat guy on the groin, tall guy would have laughed and do a victory dance, then raise his hand to the air like it was the best shot ever.

That ^ above is Top Guy frame in isolation. Isolated because it’s independent of the feedback loop, so it’s more ‘true’ than reality. You can’t sustain a frame like that, as it’s ‘non-human’, but the interesting thing is what happens when you expose it, when you express it, and how predictable it is.

The response to exposing top guy frame in that situation is the Logan Paul thing. Tall guy would make headlines and be in every interview show with people trying to shame him, and he’d keep the grin and victory pose, and every girl watching him do that would at the same time be fighty and horny about him,
“that guy is just a jerk – I want to fuck him”. He’d be just fucking amazing.

Or he can be a normal guy with ambition and desire to belong to the tribe and let the feedback loop make him bottom guy – where he actually belongs.

—

So the way this was done, the way this works is that you develop the top guy frame organically as you become more competent in society and can hold the feedback loop, can develop the victory lap and sustain it. Once you’re actually up there, you gain even extra points by NOT doing the victory lap and remaining humble, that means you’re even ABOVE the top guy frame. You’re God.

When the guy is walking to the center, his ‘smirk’ is great because it ‘reveals the potential to top guy frame’. Everyone is anticipating his move. The girls are wondering, is he the real deal?

Then he performs and feedback loops happen.

Then her performs to the feedback loop.

You can attempt to grab only one part of it – say, try to become a psychopath splitting the frame from the feedback loop, and to an extent you can do that. What I advise is that then you move your core center and increase your competence so your reality lands close to your frame, so you are actually moving towards it instead of just pretending, because ultimately the pretense will collapse, due to the feedback loop and that you’re just a human, so you’ll regress (crash and burn) towards your center.

—-

That guy should totally have done a victory dance, he’d become a celebrity in an instant.

In it, Alain de Botton talks about how in old times, status was fixed. So in your words, it is natural to maintain a Top Guy frame because within your tribe or group (where you are almost always), you status is constant, so the reinforcement loop is working non stop.

However, nowadays, you can be a Top Guy in some environment but you go the subway, and people ignore you, you go to various environments, and you’re getting basically bombarded with a negative feedback loop that you’re a nobody.

This creates a state of constant anxiety, of status confusion, or feeling like your status is at threat at all times. Which makes it harder to maintain Top Guy frame even for successful men because they switch so radically from being somebody to being nobody throughout the day.

So now I get Tyler and what he teaches, he’s trying to get people to adopt some psychopathic tendencies (he talks about “The wisdom of narcissists” in some videos, and how he worked hard to install delusional confidence into himself and Julien). So he’s trying to create a Top Guy frame that is split from reality.

Maybe that is what is needed in this world of Status Anxiety, where you cannot live in your tribe at all times. Because you know that a normal human being who loses status will freak the fuck out (in nature, if an Alpha animal is topped, he doesn’t just lose a bit of status, he becomes a reject so the lowest status in the tribe, and usually such dethroned alphas go crazy and get depressed so much so that they don’t even defend themselves from anything after that, so they die of predators or whatever very soon after losing so much status). So a non delusional Top Guy, if he gets trapped in a sever negative feedback loop where nothing is working will become a Bottom Guy.

That top guy frame in isolation above, how does that translate to what pickup/game cares about:

You ask for the girl to come out, she says “never”, you reply “never means friday, I’ll pick you at 10pm”. That means you’re not operating on her feedback loop, but on yours, and yours ends with a victory dance, on your bed. This is both “amused mastery” and “leading” and “skipping all the shit tests” which is different to “passing them”, and “swagger” and “untussle” and a lot of other things I can put into quotes to make them seem more deep. In short you’re doing the victory dance from the get go, and the more shit thrown at you the more you persist, then remain humble on top of it all because all this is also below you and you’re God.

Then you adjust your life so this is also true. You go walking somewhere and it’s like “hey, hello, Im God, how’s your day going?”

And it’s expressed through language – body language, verbal language, etc. You cross boundaries when you want to, set boundaries when you want to, flirt when you want to, stop when you want to, take on responsibility when you want to, delegate when you want to, tell others what to do when you want to, and at the center, the truth, is your frame and victory dance is already set, it’s your party, music or not – but there will be music for it if you want to.

That thing above is the place that PUA / Game tries to slice and imitate, and it’s the destination whether you want it or not, whether you’re trying or not.

Yes, yet this seems to me to be contradictory with “to stop doing what she doesn’t like and to double down on what she likes”.

Because if you’re operating on your own feedback loop, and you see in your mind that the victory dance on your bed is happening anyway, then there is zero incentive or room or even sensitivity to what she likes and what she doesn’t. Boundaries do not exist anymore so there is no use in being aware of them or adapting to them.

Do you see what I mean, Yohami?

Just trying to understand this better. Or is there two versions of Top Guy, one who is only operating on his own feedback loop (delusional psychopath) and one who is operating on both his and her loops, looking for the intersections that work for both?

>>the more shit thrown at you the more you persist

I understood from your other post that you adapt so well to the girl that you get no resistance, which I understood that literally there will be no snags or shit thrown at you to persist at. So how can you be so adaptive that there is no resistance and yet still experience resistance in terms of boundaries and shit thrown at you etc?

The calibration is your actual know-how and competence. The calibration is what makes it real – the calibration is what makes the top guy frame actually happen, in this world, beyond your delusion / projection. The calibration is the channel.

How.

————-

I’ll slow it down and slice it more.

The end result is the victory lap and the audiences cheering you. You are already carrying that in you, but the audience is just expecting and unaware of what may happen.

You enter the baseball field, walking straight, with swagger, a smirk and an emotional story, the bets are on your favor, and pointing at the victory lap. Half the audience is cheering, the other half are hoping that you make a mess and embarrass yourself. Either way ‘the audience’ get what they want. But they want a victory dance more.

You perform.

Some of the feedback of the audience will be there to cheer you up, they can see the victory dance.

Some of the feedback of the audience is there to push you down, they want that you screw up and lose.

You channel the audience who is looking at the victory dance that is about to happen – you perform your feedback loop to THEM, you fine tune and increase, now you have an audience, let that audience grow.

You ignore, push back, set aside the audience who is there to bring you down, you offset the balance in favor of the positive feedback loop, thus inviting the undecided to join the winners.

In the case of the guy who hits the fat guy on the groin – the thing is that the situation is FUNNY, it’s embarrasingly funny. The guy narrating it on the video can’t stop laughing, everyone is laughing.

Laughing means that it’s fun, there’s positive stuff going on.

The tall guy can JOIN that group and perform the victory dance for them, it’s even more funny, as a whole, if he does that lap dance in spite of his bad performance.

The part of the audience who’s on the ‘push him down’ gets angry. “that’s not his proper place on the tribe” and proceed to get more infuriated, attempting to push him down. If he reacts to this feedback loop by not reacting, not apologizing, not submitting, but re-estating that what happened was the best pitch ever, that “double down” makes a boundary wall that cannot be brought down, which in turn converts more people to his side, because these two things are things people want for themselves and respect. So he’d end up with a huge YES and a few NOs, and more people would want to come and watch to feel both in awe and in outrage.

Now without the metaphor – every person is a whole audience, every person has a thousand different little threads and personalities inside. When you’re dealing with a girl, a percentage of her is a yes, and another is a no. If she’s dealing with you AT ALL there’s a percentage of her that is a yes, and for that, and only that aspect of her you give your attention to, while you push back, set aside, ignore, all the aspects of her that are ‘no’. That on and itself, the capacity or lack of willingness to not deal with any kind of bullshit coming from a girl, is on and itself ‘the prize’. In other words the process of you calibrating to her so you can deliver your top guy to her, or operate as a top guy with her, is your actual competence. Calibration means it’s real.

When you operate in pure delusion you miss the cues from reality and end up burning the house, aka you don’t know what you’re doing. Operating from delusion means you can’t be trusted. You’ll fool some, but it all ends in burned bridges. You don’t know what you’re doing. You’ll hit the guy on the balls, you’ll make your team lose the match. Etc. Calibration is how you adopt to every situation to arrive to the same destination that you set beforehand: the victory lap, the realization of your persona in the winning frame.

So – this from a beta frame would be asking the girl “tell me what you want and I will do it”. But this comes from bottom guy needing leadership, so the girl will instinctively close up and push him away, and what she wants is that he goes away.

As opposed to calibrating the alpha frame, or top guy frame: you’re already operating there, then you get the feedback loop, and you insist and double down and seize the moment and take that spot, without insisting, pushing against or
“trying to convince” the naysayers, and ultimately it’s your party, and will happen with out without them.

Or comparing to sex – you put that dick in her vagina and while looking for your own fun, you adjust positions and calibrate to hers. You do that by instinct, following her sounds. This is not ‘beta’. The beta would stop a meter from her and ask where is the dick supposed to go, and ask what are the movements that she wants the most, and try to pre-gain approval before doing anything, and then wonder in the middle of it all if he’s doing it right.

The top guy calibrates AFTER the feedback, and the calibration is there to increase the frame.

The bottom guy calibrates BEFORE the feedback, and the calibration is there to show how good of a bottom guy he is – he’d do anything you want him to, if you would just give him a chance!

The calibration is how you actually make her come ten times in a row, it makes the ‘delusion’ happen and be real.

—–

The top guy / delusion is “Im a famous baseball player”

The calibration is what makes you test waters and keep chasing it until you make it happen.

—–

Without the first assertion you’re beta or bottom guy. Or, you don’t know what or who you are, you have no core, you’ll be at the mercy of your own undefined impulses, prisoner of whatever options the world throws at you. You’re trapped in the feedback loop and nobody is driving.

So, a Top Guy is a guy with healthy self esteem and who deals with others in an interdependent form. And a bottom guy is a guy with an inferiority complex who is depending on others to fill the void inside him. Right?

Btw, this is what I mean with “dealing with others in an interdependent form”

>>“Interdependence is a far more mature, more advanced concept. If I am physically interdependent, I am self-reliant and capable, but I also realize that you and I working together can accomplish far more than, even at my best, I could accomplish alone. If I am emotionally interdependent, I derive a great sense of worth within myself, but I also recognize the need for love, for giving, and for receiving love from others. If I am intellectually interdependent, I realize that I need the best thinking of other people to join with my own.”
― Stephen R. Covey,

The bottom guy is not an inferiority complex really, it’s a child like state.

It’s you at the mercy of what happens, as opposed to you as the source and cause. It’s you on the passenger seat instead of the driver seat.

From a self esteem / value point, the bottom guy doesn’t have value on its core, and that’s ‘his gift’. His gift is that he’ll give you whatever you want in exchange of what he wants, but what he wants is not defined either. The bottom guy is a liquefied blend of a ‘man’ to the point it’s feminine. In Alpha / beta dichotomy, the bottom guy is the beta who belongs to a group to feel safe and follows the alpha and plays to be good by the rules of the tribe, without any of these rules coming from himself, so he’s doing what’s “right” without anything inside of him actually judging what’s good and whats right. On a leader / follower dichotomy, the bottom guy is the follower. On a buyer / seller dichotomy, the bottom guy is the seller, he wants the ‘money’ and in exchange he does twists and turns to prove himself to the buyer. And the top guy would be the alpha / leader/ buyer etc.

Yohami, Tyler always says that women can tell if a guy is “Top Guy” or “Bottom Guy” just by looking at his pupils and into his eyes.

Do you believe that you can tell if a guy is “Top Guy” or “Bottom Guy” from their eyes? And if so, how can so many PUA guys from a “Bottom Guy” frame get laid with girls that are attractive enough?

Is it because Top Guys are so rare than a less bottom “Bottom Guy” is the best option for many women? Or when they are ovulating, they just go for any okay guy who makes it so that the logistics are good enough to fuck?

And how much of a “Top Guy” do you need to be to see a significant change in women’s reaction to you? I believe in the 80/20 rule, so is there a tipping point where you are Top Guy enough to stand out? Because you know, change is a process, you don’t just say “Ok, I am Top Guy now” and magically turn into one.

Also, do you believe that women can tell if you are a Top Guy just through your vibe? That you can be standing, not saying or doing anything, and yet project “Top Guy energy” that they resonate with? Or is such concepts just Tyler going almost mad? hahaha

“so is there a tipping point where you are Top Guy enough to stand out?”

You don’t need to be ‘top guy’ to get laid – that’s not what Im talking about here. Top Guy is the frame where all the Game techniques can flow in a natural state, and it’s the frame where you can fully grow as a man instead of as a shadow of one. It’s the frame where you can be your best self. Plus the frame that is naturally attractive to all heterosexual women. Still.

You don’t need to be 100% top guy to get laid, obviously. Even betas can get laid. Just like a woman doesn’t need to be a 10 to get laid. What does she need? a pussy, boobs, be reasonably attractive – or just match some guy’s fetish.

To get laid as a man you need to be the best option she has right there right now, put in the context of the other men she has or can have, and logistics and plenty of other stuff play a part as well. So the more top guy the more the cards are in your favor, but here even a few inches of top guy make a difference.

Just like “five minutes of alpha matter more than five years of beta”, just a few touches of top guy matter more than the rest of your personality if you’re mostly beta, and it already makes a difference. It’s so strong that just a couple of borrowed lines from top guy frame, repeated verbatim (like negs) already have an effect even if you’re really a pushover. Luke says he gets laid without having inner game – so he’s ‘bottom guy’ and operating through simple behaviors and logistics.

So of course all you need is very basic. You’re not being measured by God – but by women, and women are fickle. They will shit test you and screen you for the single purpose they have for you that day, which sometimes is just they want to be ‘aroused enough’ and ‘find you attractive enough’. You don’t need to be God to get laid – women are much more basic than that.

“can’t say “Ok, I am Top Guy now” and magically turn into one.”

Actually you can do that. And that’s how you do it. Just that you have to do it on every instance where you’d take a bottom guy approach, you switch. So a dozen times a day, till you’re not longer fighting the bottom guy inertia.

“I believe in the 80/20 rule, so is there a tipping point where you are Top Guy enough to stand out?”

Well that’s the thing – in MY case I saw a clear cut difference after two weeks of going Player. I was focused on the vibe and body language and kino and a lot of other stuff that was all ‘top guy’ but I didn’t know at the time. Two weeks and I had girls everywhere fawning over me. My thing to learn there was to do with all that, how to handle women and all the others stuff, but the core raw attraction was there, because I was tiptoing the archetype. So this whole thing should take 1-2 months if you know what you’re doing, or where you’re going.

“do you believe that women can tell if you are a Top Guy just through your vibe? That you can be standing, not saying or doing anything, and yet project “Top Guy energy””

Yes. Vibe, energy, flavor, presence, yes a million times. You can just go anywhere and stand against a wall and the tribe will form around you and girls throwing themselves at you. I did that a hundred times. I still do.

It’s not the ‘looks’ – it’s the pose, it’s how you stand and how other men stand next to you, it’s the words you say and how you say them and the frame people adopt to match yours. It’s not ‘magic’, it’s biology. This is all hardwired.

Also even if you have all that, all it takes is a stronger male presence and it all goes away, everything flocks to that other guy (then comes back to you if he can’t hold it).

>>I was focused on the vibe and body language and kino and a lot of other stuff that was all ‘top guy’ but I didn’t know at the time.

>>this whole thing should take 1-2 months if you know what you’re doing, or where you’re going.

Great posts Yohami, I what you’re saying A LOT.

If you could go back and retrace what worked for you. Let’s say you could go back to your incel self and give him a plan to turn into the full archetype of a Top Guy, what would that plan be?

What should he tell himself when his inner bottom guy creeps out?

How would he work on in his vibe and HOW? How would he retrain his mind and kill anything that isn’t Top Guy so he is 100% congruent?

What should he do daily to get to a point where all the behaviors that are VERY attractive are naturally in him rather than him acting them out?

In the body language of a Top Guy, is what Madison teaches in the video you linked what constitutes Top Guy body language, or would you add some other things?

And would you create a “Top Guy mantra”? Something that anytime the Bottom Guy frame creeps out, your older self would say to remember how to view the world?

Something like Scarface’s “The World is Yours”, or something like that.

I personally do not think Scarface is a Top Guy. He was reckless. He had no strategic thinking, he was just acting out of impulse which forced him to be on the defense and go into reactive mode. He didn’t care about the feedback loop from the world, it was as if he couldn’t control the impulse of doing what his “balls” tell him to do.

Add a reminder to your conscious mind to measure yourself against the archetype. When in dissonance, find what is causing the dissonance, ask yourself what should change so you could be the archetype: and then do exactly that.

The above sounds simple but it relies on a few things:

– Your definitions must be correct so you can orient yourself (this is why I insist on defining the damn thing once and again, and why writing it down helps me too). To make your definitions correct, look around, ask ‘is it true’ every time you get an idea etc

– The temptation is to create a delusion for yourself where rules don’t apply to you because you’re special, you have a special weapon, you have a subset of rules etc. Kill that thing. First adopt the rules, then develop your specialties. Or, your quirks will come back, because you can’t do otherwise, but push them aside and get the basics right first

– Make a list of all the things that constitute the archetype that you can notice and put that map on top of everything. Are you acting like the guy, are you taking the opportunities that the guy would take, taking the chances he would, are you getting the feedback he would, etc. When in dissonance, find what’s creating it, and change.

If this is too abstract it’s because it requires the visual component. Probably story bits would help. I have too many, will drop some later. Should write a book with all this stuff.

– You must be willing to go through pain, be uncomfortable, and die. Must be willing to disassociate with who you think you are and sacrifice that to the ideal that you’ll become. And have to go through that every time you get a reward that looks tasty for your current self (when you don’t you end up paying an extra price)

– Must be willing to put yourself last, as in, no comfort for you, must be willing to push past your limits. Say you are an introvert – it means learning to be an extrovert. Say you’re intellectual – it means learning to have banal chit chat. Say you’re violence advert – means you get into a violent sport or martial art. And not only you have to go these places but you must be aiming to be the ‘top guy’ at these places, not because they are ‘better’ than your preferences, but because thats where your fears are, and you have to expand so you’re not limited by the things you like (you don’t know what you like yet, until you expand). Basically all has to be your choice instead of something you’re at the mercy of, including your preferences.

Basically whatever you are becomes a sacrificial lamb. And all that energy and pieces are used to build an imperfect reconstruction of a top guy, which will be increasingly functional but missing pieces, then you have to sacrifice that one, too.

Or put in simpler terms:

The moment you start improving yourself by pushing against your limits, you find a new comfort zone, one that looks just perfect for the part of you who doesn’t want to change. And likely you’ll stagnate there. And when you do so all the old problems will crawl back in, so you’ll have to choose again, keep pushing forward or roll back. That back and forth between archetypes will keep destroying everything you try to hold into as long as you’re in transition. So the best and easier way is to stop holding to whatever you think you are and dedicate to the change fully.

So, if I understood you correctly, if a man really wants to be a woman, he should first dissociate himself from his masculinity – cut off his dick and balls – and start emulating a woman through plastic surgery, hormones, clothing, and behaviour, so that in the end he BECOMES a SHE. Correct?

>>Must be willing to put yourself last, as in, no comfort for you, must be willing to push past your limits

But won’t that lead to a negative feedback loop, especially with girls, that will make this even harder?

Because a guy who is projecting an energy of pain and being afraid as he is staying always in no comfort, girls will sense that and might lead to repulsing them since they want the fun fun fun. Or do you think that the idea of girls being super able to read what’s going on inside you is an aggregated BS and you can be in pain inside as long as you are behaving as a Top Guy, you will see the positive feedback loop growing?

I mean, while you are slaying the inner Bottom Guy and adopting the behaviors and attitudes of the Top Guy archetypes, won’t you be incongruent as fuck? Which women might sense as anxiety which a Top Guy wouldn’t feel?

>>ask yourself what should change so you could be the archetype: and then do exactly that.

Could you please just give it one good solid try to define everything important about the archetype so when we move towards that, we can have clarity about what is done wrong and what should be corrected?

From reading your definition of a Top Guy, I have not met any true Top Guy where I live. The closest thing I saw are narcissists who would behave like a Top Guy, but as soon as they get some negative feedback from the world or hear some comment that de-validates them, they become the neediest most reactive people ever.

At points – but that’s the whole point as well. When you get the negative feedback loop, you perform to it with top guy frame, and when you get attacked for it, you reply to that from top guy frame, etc. Every iteration is yet again the opportunity for you to be the real thing (or to lose it all).

That’s why I pointed at that video from the baseball guy who turned from confident mofo to bottom guy in 5 seconds. If he replies to the booing with a victory dance, and then when confronted with that he doubles, down etc – that path ends up with him on the cover of every magazine and tv show and banging Taylor Swift (lol).

Or look at what’s going on with Peterson – he is CLEARLY pushing against his limits all the time, at at many times he has a weirdo vibe. But he hammers on it on and on, and at every iteration he gets more comfortable on it, it becomes a step gained, his territory increases, and he pushes more.

“Because a guy who is projecting an energy of pain and being afraid as he is staying always in no comfort”

Your energy gets unblocked when you movilize it – pain becomes freedom, fear becomes anger, anger becomes action, stagnation becomes a thrill. You’re not ‘afraid’ when you’re going frontally to kill your demons. You’re ‘afraid’ when you’re not moving and trying to stay safe. From an energetic point of view, the one projecting fear and pain is the one who doesn’t grow because he’s living in the shadow.

“you can be in pain inside as long as you are behaving as a Top Guy”

If you’re top guy the girls see the pain inside of you as romantic. True story.

What girls don’t understand about any of this is the idea of growth and becoming. Value for girls is something static – that changes second by second into a new static state.

“while you are slaying the inner Bottom Guy and adopting the behaviors and attitudes of the Top Guy archetypes, won’t you be incongruent as fuck?”

At points. But what do you think it’s better:

A) A congruent bottom guy

B) An incongruent top guy

“Which women might sense as anxiety which a Top Guy wouldn’t feel?”

Yes and they will shit test you for it, which is yet again an iteration for you to figure it out.

“Could you please just give it one good solid try to define everything important about the archetype so when we move towards that”

This depends on the level of zoom. The basic word is ‘dominance’, the secondary word is ‘success’. Put them together and it’s ‘successful dominance’. All drips down from there. Success means you know how to, it’s the actionable part. Dominance is the intentional part and the aggressive part. Success makes you happy and high energy, but relaxed in comparison to a dominance that is not successful, etc. Dominance is not just a word though, it’s a shape – look at dominant animals. I guess I can write a hundred pages on this thing alone and it wouldn’t cover it all. I prefer the basics for that sole reason. Top guy is:

You call the shots, you know how to do so, you’ve done it before, you expect things to go your way, they have gone your way before, you’re in control, you’ve been in control before, you’ll be in control in the future, you got this, so you are chill about the whole thing, and if someone messes with you, they are as good as dead.

“I have not met any true Top Guy where I live.”

There are none. Some guys have flashes of it. The RSD guys have different variations of it but there’s a lot of performance to it, you can tell it takes energy to sustain it. The closes one is probably Max – he’s missing the ‘you’ll die if you mess with me’ piece, lovely guy, not scary, respect inducing guy. Peterson has the scary part. Clooney has the chilling success part.

“narcissists ”

Narcissists have a big kryptonite, their narcissistic injury thing.

“Because when what you do works well enough, you don’t consider that there might be geometrically better ways of being out there.”

“Yohami, Tyler always says that women can tell if a guy is “Top Guy” or “Bottom Guy” just by looking at his pupils and into his eyes.” … etc

this yohami/chulo exchange is great, it’s interesting, but imo it’s way to self-absorbed on the theoretical stuff of what makes a top guy on his own, “in a vacuum”: his mindset, his vibe, his self talk, etc.

what i mean is, what i am seeing from having yohami help me with my texting with this litle french girl “miss sunshine” — actually he did ALL the texting, i just copied and pasted what he wrote, and then he explained why he wrote it — is WHAT REALLY MAKES A TOP GUY is his incredible understanding of women.

watching yohami work his texting magic, and having him explain why he was writing something, and why she replied the way she replied — the way i see it, it’s like a world-class race car driver or an olympic skier, knowing where to turn to avoid hitting obstacles, knowing when to speed up, how to not hit her walls, how to avoid her landminds, when to attack — i say race car driver or skier because it’s all happening so fast, in real time, that you gotta see really far ahead and really deeply to operate at his level.

another much easier analogy, also valid, is the master chess player, seeing many moves ahead, and KNOWING what the other person is trying to do. but i don’t like the chess analogy so much b/c that’s much too slow for our interaction with chicks.

so, yeah, the INTERACTION is what make a guy a top guy. and of course, this is based on mindset, mantras, inner beliefs, IDGAF attitude, etc, but more than anything, it’s on reading and understanding women at an incredibly deep level, basically to be able to read their minds.

this is what i think yohami’s “top guy lessons” should focus on.

it’s not about, should you daygame or not daygame, should you go out at night or in the afternoon, what mantras can i repeat to kill the bottom guy inside me, what is the top guy vibe when he’s just standing there on the street corner — nope. to me that comes later, if at all?

to me, you prove yourself as a top guy the second you get her attention, how you begin interacting with her, how you begin DANCING with her, and how you lead her, understand her desires, understand her shit tests, wall, land mines, how you increase tension when necessary (“press forward” as yohami was saying), how you don’t chase when she sets a chase trap, how you avoid and reframe a land mine, how you LISTEN to what she is REALLY saying — ALL THAT STUFF is when she truly sees, right before her eyes, that you are a top guy.

[it’s on reading and understanding women at an incredibly deep level, basically to be able to read their minds]
Yohami, how do we become that way? Is it a lot of trial and error or asking women what they were thinking after sex or from psychology or is it you special intuition that cannot be learned? I think we will all benefit from reading the text interaction and what Yohami was thinking she is saying and means covertly at each step.

Let’s wait till Riv writes the post with the convo, then I’ll have more tips, but:

“how do we become that way?”

The ‘that way’ is the top guy frame, which is what I’ve been writing about. The starting assumption is that you’re high value and she wants to bang, the rest is screening, looking for arousal, courtship – so sweet spots are maximized, opportunities are taken, mines are avoided, transgressions are pushed back, etc.

Pain is not what makes you grow. Focus on winning. The more you win the more you grow. Pain / failure is part of the process, but it’s not the process. The process is winning. Focus on obtaining the pleasure of winning. The posture of winning. The confidence of winning.

10 years of winning will make you a champion – you’ll go through pain, but pain is not ‘it’.