That was so insightful and witty - great list. Found myself nodding my head in agreement at every slide. Oh wait. That's not true. It was terrible and dull. The person who wrote it should read this post, and feel horrible. First they will think I liked it, and then their hopes are crushed by my bitter disapproval! Then, if my plans work out right, they will live out the rest of their existence on a daily balance of antidepressants, anxiolytics and lithium, until one day it all becomes just too much and they have to beg an understanding relative for airfare so they can make their way to Switzerland where Dignitas can put them out of my misery.

TheTranceFan:I'm not part of the TF super-race, so I'm kinda over here wondering how stuff like this gets greenlighted. Anyway care to shed some light?

This site has some sort of agreement with Fark that requires the modmins to post their shiatty articles. Drew would apparently rather the anonymous submitter collective take the blame for inflicting these links instead of Fark announcing that these are paid placements.

Submitter, what you've just linked to is one of the most insanely un-funny links I have ever read. At no point in that rambling, incoherent slide show was it close to anything that could be considered creatively witty or humorous. Everyone in this forum is now dumber for having read it. You are awarded no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

"Today, a day which will live in infamy, North Korea accidently nuked a 250 sq mi section of the Pacific Ocean in a location we've confirmed to be the safest, most distant from any populated area possible.

The President has ordered an immediate retaliation of 'lol cat' emails at the regime and to show his concern for the situation, is flying to Hawaii for a week of vacation with his family.

Secretary of Defense ordered construction of additional anti-missle batteries along the Pacific Ocean repeating over and over again "this has nothing to do with long term strategies vs the Russian and Chinese and we are totally concerned about North Korea""

Cagey B:JonZoidberg: How many times does N Korea get to make threats before we pre-emptively carpet bomb Pyongyang? If a real country made those kinds of gestures, wouldn't we respond?

1. Everyone knows North Korea isn't actually going to nuke the US. For many, already discussed reasons.2. We don't generally go to war because someone "made some threats".3. We're not going to go to war with North Korea for a host of tactical and strategic reasons, which have been discussed at length.4. While we have kind of a history of being dicks to the world, I don't think even the US would initiate an armed conflict because a guy hurt our collective feelings in a press release.5. "Pre-emptive" wars haven't worked out too well for us in the recent past.6. Indiscriminately bombing Pyongyang would not do anything to harm North Korea's nuclear capacity (in this case, the fictional launch capability they have to supposedly nuke us). It would, however, be certain to ensure the enmity of every regional power (including South Korea), except maybe Japan.

JonZoidberg:How many times does N Korea get to make threats before we pre-emptively carpet bomb Pyongyang? If a real country made those kinds of gestures, wouldn't we respond?

1. Everyone knows North Korea isn't actually going to nuke the US. For many, already discussed reasons.2. We don't generally go to war because someone "made some threats".3. We're not going to go to war with North Korea for a host of tactical and strategic reasons, which have been discussed at length.4. While we have kind of a history of being dicks to the world, I don't think even the US would initiate an armed conflict because a guy hurt our collective feelings in a press release.5. "Pre-emptive" wars haven't worked out too well for us in the recent past.6. Indiscriminately bombing Pyongyang would not do anything to harm North Korea's nuclear capacity (in this case, the fictional launch capability they have to supposedly nuke us). It would, however, be certain to ensure the enmity of every regional power (including South Korea), except maybe Japan.

TV's Vinnie:It's hard to take Best Korea seriously when you've seen those "Squirrel and Hedgehog" propaganda cartoons they've been putting out. The fine upstanding citizens have been having a field day drawing fan art of "WOLFMURRICA!" (the American bad guys in the cartoon are portrayed as wolves) and have latched onto "Lt. Fox Vixen" as if she were the new Derpy.

I don't know who put that pic together, but I thought carrier fleets ran in a reverse order to that. A few smaller ships ahead of the carrier, always out there to feel the bottom or sea mines. I don't know if the B-2 Spirit and the Hornets are a composite but the scale's great, 40' wide Hornets and 172' wide Spirit.

Rara avis in terris nigroque simillima cygno. It's common knowledge that something isn't going to happen, so it's said to be a bird rare as a black swan, i.e. doesn't exist or doesn't happen. But it's only a truism until the event happens.

On that note I'm going to see if Sofia Vergara is actually worth pursuing and then seeing if I can't bang her by year end.

N.Korea just needs to have mouths to feed and a means of production to trade ANYTHING for consumer tech. The people have their Prince King and he has a ring of generals around him happy to wait out their last days to play out the game theories of which their entire lives and careers were predicated. There are billboards warning its citizens a defensive ground war is imminent-- that's how committed the lunacy is, but it doesn't HAVE to escalate.

But China doesn't want a mass migration when the cake falls and nobody can blame them for that. Assimilating so great a mass into the economic stream of investment and development and the God Savior FSM is not a domain of the weak.

Lee Jackson Beauregard:Cagey B: JonZoidberg: How many times does N Korea get to make threats before we pre-emptively carpet bomb Pyongyang? If a real country made those kinds of gestures, wouldn't we respond?

1. Everyone knows North Korea isn't actually going to nuke the US. For many, already discussed reasons.2. We don't generally go to war because someone "made some threats".3. We're not going to go to war with North Korea for a host of tactical and strategic reasons, which have been discussed at length.4. While we have kind of a history of being dicks to the world, I don't think even the US would initiate an armed conflict because a guy hurt our collective feelings in a press release.5. "Pre-emptive" wars haven't worked out too well for us in the recent past.6. Indiscriminately bombing Pyongyang would not do anything to harm North Korea's nuclear capacity (in this case, the fictional launch capability they have to supposedly nuke us). It would, however, be certain to ensure the enmity of every regional power (including South Korea), except maybe Japan.

7. North Korea does not have oil.

Oil is so 1990.

North Korea may well be sitting on 6 TRILLION dollars worth of rare earth elements.

If I have hot sex with Sophia Vergara (or how ever she spells her name) and Billie Dee Williams is standing outside the hotel room to high five me, then yeah, nuke the nation because there isn't shiat left for me to do that could top it.

It's hard to take Best Korea seriously when you've seen those "Squirrel and Hedgehog" propaganda cartoons they've been putting out. The fine upstanding citizens have been having a field day drawing fan art of "WOLFMURRICA!" (the American bad guys in the cartoon are portrayed as wolves) and have latched onto "Lt. Fox Vixen" as if she were the new Derpy.

fark So Lonely Jr., anyone in charge of pressing the big button should have a calm head and a quiet mouth. but hey for all I know we're just fed alarmist propaganda. i'm not over there, you're not over there, we don't sit in on their meetings. news churners do seem to like scaring the shiat out of the USA public on a steady eddy basis.

3rdtimearound:That was so insightful and witty - great list. Found myself nodding my head in agreement at every slide. Oh wait. That's not true. It was terrible and dull. The person who wrote it should read this post, and feel horrible. First they will think I liked it, and then their hopes are crushed by my bitter disapproval! Then, if my plans work out right, they will live out the rest of their existence on a daily balance of antidepressants, anxiolytics and lithium, until one day it all becomes just too much and they have to beg an understanding relative for airfare so they can make their way to Switzerland where Dignitas can put them out of my misery.