Phrom Phong is a great area, very professional and prices are listed out in full so there is no confusion. They are the considered the best easily accessible massages for newbies.

Pro-tip: Google the name of the shop and it doesn’t turn up online don’t visit. From my time running this blog I’ve found that massages shops that have a good online presence care about their reputation and do they best to offer tourists a good service.

Someone left a comment that they had a bad massage somewhere, and the massage shop contacted me asking for me to reach out to the person to find out what exactly happened so they could improve their service.

Many people are like I don’t know if I should trust this shop because they’ve paid to this blogger to promote it, but they are actually the best ones to visit because they know if they mess you around, you’ll talk crap about them online which hurts their business.

How you act

How you act is probably the biggest factor that determines how good or bad your massage will be.

Some of you put yourself second and are super polite and give the masseur a lot of respect. If this describes you, you’ll most likely have a great time if you follow the tips above.

Some of you are losers, misogynists, sex addicts who are self-centred who only care about #1 and have no respect for the other person.

If you’re the second person, this article is probably no use to you because all you want to do is nut and the experience itself doesn’t matter. If that is YOU, you have issues that need to be addressed. I’ve seen this type of person many times over, they are toxic to be around, often thinking what they do is justified. This type of person is common in Thailand because it’s where guys who have been hurt by western women go first.

When you enter the shop, be nice, smile, don’t rush, don’t be a pervert, don’t be forceful or rude. Have a conversation, get to know your masseur, ask her name and background, perhaps even learn a bit of Thai (that goes a long way to a great experience).

Never go in drunk or smelling like you’ve been drinking.

How does pricing work

Pricing for the most part is the same in most places give or take 500 baht.

If you enter a soapy type place they may tell you that women charge a higher fee (5,000- 10,000). They are not scamming you, certain girls that have a specific look Asians like are often more expensive and usually paid for by Koreans and Japanese.

Pricing is usually upfront at most legitimate places, if no pricing is mentioned be sure to ask before you do anything.

What else can I do?

If there are specific things you’d like to do as I know some of you have fetishes, you should ask the person who is hosting you. Yes when you enter you’ll have a person sitting along side you who will answer ANY question you have about their service.

Want to lick toe nails, ask to see if that is possible.

So where is the best massage shop in Bangkok?

The best massage shop in Bangkok is totally subjective.

To some a good massage shop means university girls who are hot but lack experience and chemistry.

To others it may be an older girl who may not look like a model, but offers a great service and personal connection.

Each person is different and what you consider a good massage others may not.

What I advise you to do is visit a few and compare the experience and service. Then keep going back to the ones you like, make friends with the people there and each time you revisit they will treat you with more respect and care.

You get the point. Dress smart, smile, be chatty, show interest in the masseuse as a person, respect her and the doors of heaven will open. Soi 22 and 33 are the best spots. My favourites are Hera’s Massage and Dream Heaven Massage. Mitu is probably the best spot but totally overpriced these days (THB 4600 for 80 min), not worth it as it’s easy to get a similar experience somewhere else by having the right attitude and knowing how to pick the right girl.

I used to have a lot of fun visiting massage places 10 years ago. A particular thrilling pursuit was to find the normal massage places that did extras. You know, the ones with ladies dressed conservatively. Waiting for a tell tale sign, like that “accidental” brush and giggle. Good times. Imo, it’s which massage place happens to be able to attract the most girls that’s the best. It varies, sometimes new one opens, others close, a mamasan will move and bring some girls with her. Got to try a lot of places and be quiet about it if you find a good place. Then there are the Kapoo Clubs which would probably be what I would go for now.

I’ve read your articles about accommodation in Bangkok. I’m looking for a cheap decent condo lime Varrzon which you has mentioned to rent for a month but Airbnb’s condos are expensive and regular condos need a one year contract. So is there any solution?

I’ve been trying to find the answer to this, but are you white (European) or Asian or Pakistani or Indian … yourself? I know you say you come from England, but that can mean a lot of things. Just interesting in terms of your perspective and interactions.

Thanks, Harv. To clarify, I like trying to imagine the voice of the writer, and a lot of your topics are concerned with cultural meetings, to put it diplomatically.

Being a fag myself, I don’t really read so much for the tips as for the witty writing and refreshingly honest perspectives on a place I’ve never visited (and won’t visit, Asian boys are pretty much the opposite of what my thing is lol).