Right away, they sent me a little “thank you” package. Inside the box were two items:

(1) A limited edition movie candle for my home (Aww. Thanks, Grace Hill. What a sweet and unique gift.) and …

… (2) A bone-chilling, demon-exorcising prayer to recite once it’s ignited. (Seriously, Grace Hill? Totally uncool. Now I’m scared before I even step into the theater.)

Of course, since when did being scared ever stop me from doing anything? (Attention: People who know me personally. Please refrain from listing the dozens of answers you probably have to this question as it waters down the peer pressure tactics I’m about to exhibit.) Fear Schmear! I am going to see this movie. And so is Mel. And so are YOU!! And here’s why …

Five Reasons to See The Conjuring 2

Because who doesn’t love a scary movie? Okay, fine. Truth be told, I watched much of the first movie between my pathetic, trembling fingers. Yes, I am a card-carrying coward … but there was no way I was missing out on the second highest-grossing original horror movie of all time. Second only to The Exorcist. Chew on that, lily-livereds.

Because one of the leads is played by a girl from New Orleans. I just found a picture of her (Madison Wolfe) with my daughter singing in the school choir. I almost posted it then decided she’s not my child so it wouldn’t be appropriate. You’ll just have to take my word for it. And know that it’s a pretty exciting development in my little corner of the world.

Because sleep is overrated. And since this movie will have you cogitating for a while, just imagine all the things you’ll be able to get done in the middle of the night when the rest of the world is wasting its time sleeping. You could organize all of your closets, toiletries and canned goods by color, learn to speak Portuguese or even potty train your cat.

Because your body’s many physiological functions will get a full workup. You can test your heart, your circulation, your respiratory system, your kidneys, your bladder, your sweat glands, your vocal cords and even your tear ducts all simultaneously from the comfort of your cushy chair in a dark movie theater. And all for free.

Because the movie looks just fantastic. Check it out. (P.S. Yes. That’s Madison.)

Oh, and I almost forgot. We have prizes! Mel and I are giving away TWO prize packages from The Conjuring 2. Each package contains 2 movie money passes, a leather-bound journal, a T-shirt, a mug and a flashlight.

By now, I think most of you know I went to the BlogHer conference in Chicago last weekend with my friend, Mel. We had a very memorable experience, complete with a great many noteworthy events. Among them? THE CONJURING. (Thanks to Grace Hill Media.)

Why did I just force myself to re-watch this trailer? Why? Why would I do that so close to my bedtime?!!? (Shuddering, shaking off the creepy imagery and taking a deep breath) Thanks to our so-precious-I-wanted-to-put-him-in-my-purse concierge, we were lucky enough to see it at the ICON Theatre where things like 40-ounce bottles of Blue Moon and bacon popcorn are served.

Yes. I said BACON. Which I’m pretty sure means “love” in Ancient Greek.

Now drunk anesthetized, bloated satiated and ready hyperventilating, we walked into the theater and took our seats. And damn if every preview wasn’t for a different horror movie. (Way to warm us up, ICON.)

And then it began.

I don’t think I’ve seen an R-rated horror movie in a decade. (Who am I kidding? As a mom, I barely break away from PG. Scary = Cruella DeVille) This film doesn’t give you a break for even a minute. And the fact that it is based (not loosely, it claims) on a very REAL story kept me on the edge of my seat … fine, on the edge of Mel’s lap … the entire time.

I’m not joking.

I’ve never had another woman (except my own mother) protect me from harm more than Mel did that day. She knows how I struggle with disturbing imagery. Profoundly. How it haunts me during the night and in my dreams, should I actually fall asleep. Let’s just say her hand and my eyes became very well acquainted. But I still managed to see some of it. And hear ALL of it. Sometimes that can even be worse.

Truth? There are a few scenes I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to shake. Ever. The story is about ghost hunters Ed & Lorraine Warren researching the terrifying events that took place at the Perron home in the 1970s. The family had five children. Five. Little. Girls. (I’m shaking my head.) I hate that kids were involved. The demonic apparitions there were so very vengeful and bloodthirsty. They literally chilled my bones. And it was obvious everyone around me felt exactly the same way. Throughout the entire film, the audience had two settings:

Staring wide-eyed and whisper-quiet without blinking or evenbreathing at the screen … OR …

Gasping, shouting and screaming involuntarily at the heinous and mounting displays of otherworldly evil

I won’t give it away.

I can’t give it away.

Oh, but I so want to warn you when not to look. But that’s not my job. I’m just so freakin’ glad Mel didn’t feel that way.

DO I RECOMMEND THE MOVIE? Well, yes. I do. As long as you can tolerate the fear. Or maybe if you have a wonderfully protective friend like Mel. Why is this one so different? For me, I think it can all be summed by the quote at the end of the movie.

“Diabolical forces are formidable. These forces are eternal, and they exist today. The fairy tale is true. The devil exists. God exists. And for us, as people, our very destiny hinges upon which one we elect to follow.” – Ed Warren

I swallowed hard when I read those words on the screen and wanted to head directly to the nearest church. I’m totally serious. It was, if you will, a helluva story. And from everything I read after seeing the film, the Perron family is completely pleased with the finished product. This story just resonated a little too close with me.

Or maybe it’s just because I kept thinking about Annabelle …

… and how much she looks like the 100-year-old doll my grandmother gave me as a child.

Last Spring, I wrote a post entitled Four Indisputable Signs that My House is Haunted. Sure, it was written in jest. Well, mostly. I mean … even if a ghost did steal my toilet eraser back then, I’m not scared of him. Clearly, he is an apparition who cares that his mistakes be corrected. He wants to put his best (translucent) foot forward. How spooky can he be really?

Of course, not all ghostly experiences are quite so PG-rated. I’m from New Orleans which has often been dubbed The Most Haunted City in America. (America. Because, apparently, there are way scarier cities in Antarctica. Whatever, ghost raters.) Do I believe in this stuff? Well, frankly, I think there have been far too many cases of paranormal activity to dismiss them completely. Plus, it really pisses the ghosts off when you say you don’t believe in them. They’re not like fairies. They don’t die in these situations. They just get stronger and then they latch themselves onto YOUR VERY SOUL!

Which reminds me … there’s a movie opening on July 19th called The Conjuring. And, before you even watch the trailer, allow me to tell you that it chronicles a true story as experienced by pioneer ghost hunters, Ed & Lorraine Warren, in the 1970s.

Dude, I was alive in the 70s. I’m already scared of out my mind!

Why am I writing about this movie? Well, because Mel and I plan to see it together in Chicago. We’re attending an online writer’s conference there called BlogHer ’13. We both went last year in NYC and had a blast. But we’re not the only ones who will be peeing their pants this summer at the movie theater.

BECAUSE WE HAVE TICKETS TO GIVE AWAY!!

All you have to do is click the fancy pants Rafflecopter Giveaway link (below) and enter your information. We’ll be awarding up to four pairs of tickets which can be used at any theater (with the exception of AMC*) for the duration of the film’s run. Entries will be accepted until Sunday, July 21 at midnight EST.

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Good luck, moviegoers!!

* Don’t fret, my fellow New Orleanians. Apparently, Canal Place Theatres are not AMC-affiliated. So, if you win, you can see it there. And be sure to get a cheese plate. It’s so good that songs should be written about it.