“Not so well, mom, I think I am going to bail on the summer and just get healthy.”

Pause.

“I am proud of you, Andy,” she said in that knowing motherly voice, “You’ll be all that much stronger and smarter next year!

And, just like that, my summer racing plans were canceled.

I suppose I knew this day was coming for a while as I was struggling with my return to running after meniscus surgery in March and a couple setbacks along the way but it really didn’t hit me until I told my mom I was dropping out. Something about that made it definitive, and also, it made it OK.

As much as I want to run Western States and Hardrock this summer I know I shouldn’t. And now that I’ve told my mom, I know I can’t.

But, what next?

Well, for me, in the short-term, I am looking forward to spending race weekend at Western States as a spectator. From what I’ve been told, I have a space in the backseat of Twiet’s truck alongside Craig Thornley. Provided those guys have ear plugs, we should be good to go. After that, I am not sure.

Turns out I may need a second surgery to repair my damaged knee. The recovery was going well to a point, but it never quite progressed to a point where I knew I was “better.” I, of course, hope that I can live to fight another day, but these things are fleeting and I need to take what I can get. Whatever happens, I know that running, in general, and Western States, in particular, has found a way into my heart and for that I am forever grateful.

Just a few experiences from this past weekend I spent in Auburn to illuminate the point:

Hanging out with Jorge Maravilla in the Raley’s Parking lot in Auburn talking about the race, his expectations, his questions of me, and the notion of being a part of something bigger than yourself. In this day and age of self-promotion and short-term impact branding, it was impressive and fun to sit in a parking lot, and not just any parking lot, either, but a parking lot in which I have spent hours talking about running and Western States, to share a few thoughts with a relatively new runner to the game and just to exchange the love of The Trail.

Running leisurely down from Michigan Bluff to El Dorado Creek and back not as training but as fuel for the soul. Enjoying those relaxed miles with Craig, Scott, Lewis, Meghan, Dave and others made the heartache I was feeling much easier to stomach. And, emerging out of the Canyon to hang out with 10-time finishers Bill Davis and Ray Scannell really served to connect the past to the future for me.

“Working” the Cal 2 Aid Station with Western States legends Craig Thornley, John Medinger, and Tim Twietmeyer on Sunday morning really made the sting of the reality of my not racing next month wash away. Here I was, surrounded by three extraordinary men, all of whom have given of themselves to this race for decades, and it was all good. And, along the way, we had a really, really good time. I mean, when’s the last time you had your water bottle filled by the future RD, the past Board President and Editor-in-Chief of Ultrarunner Magazine, and, oh yeah, a 25-time finisher and five-time winner of the race? Good stuff, indeed.

All this leads me to the clear understanding that all is well with the world. Sure, I am bummed that, for the first time since 2004, I will not be on the starting line at Squaw, but, heck, it had to happen sometime and I have no choice but to be OK with that.

Honestly, I truly hope this is not the end of the line for me. I hope to one day, once again, get a chance to toe the line at Squaw. I love the race and I love to run. But, I also know I need to get healthy and in this case, this year, it is not meant to be. So, like the shameless optimist that I am, I will dream to fight another day. And, in the meantime, I hope the rest of you out there, all of you, find a way to fulfill your dreams. Heck, I have had the opportunity to circle that track eight times, EIGHT TIMES! That’s amazing, that’s lucky, that’s the kind of thing that defines a life. Here’s a guy with house, cars, wife, kids, jobs, etc… who gets to run this thing. I’ve been chased down for 10th and I’ve gutted out a 4th. I ran through the sauna for 6th and had no idea what I was doing when I ended up 8th. One year, heck, I ended up 2nd just by running faster and faster as the day went along.

Just this past weekend I met people who have waited five years for their one chance at this thing and they are finally here. They are finally poised on the edge of a Western States start. I, for one, want every one of them to finish and I am looking eagerly forward to cheering each and every one of them around the track when they arrive in Auburn on that illustrious, extraordinary, life-defining fourth weekend in June. Until then…

Bottoms up!

AJW Taproom’s Beer of the WeekThere is no doubt that this week’s Beer of the Week comes from the Auburn Alehouse in Auburn, CA. Their Gold Country Pilsner Lager is a light-tasting, fast-drinking brew in the German tradition that is really crisp and surprisingly strong. Great on one of Auburn’s hot June evening’s, like the one that’s coming on the 23rd. :-)

Andy Jones-Wilkins finished in the top 10 men at the Western States 100 7-straight times. He's sponsored by Patagonia and Drymax socks and is iRunFar's editorialist.All posts by Andy Jones-Wilkins

Comments

533517 Responseshttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.irunfar.com%2F2012%2F06%2Fi-knew-this-day-would-come-spectating-at-the-western-states-100.htmlI+Knew+This+Day+Would+Come%3A+Spectating+at+the+Western+States+1002012-06-01+10%3A00%3A25Andy+Jones-Wilkinshttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.irunfar.com%2F%3Fp%3D5335 to “I Knew This Day Would Come: Spectating at the Western States 100”

You had me teary from the 5th line, Andy. I love this column. I'm kind of in the same old boat this year. It seems like you're using the wisdom earned from those 8 trips around the track to keep you in the truck this year. You'll love it anyway. Hang tough….

Awesome read. Good luck with the recovery. It seems like you are in a good mental state despite the set backs. Overall health trumps races in my opinion.

8 Trips…that really is something special. Especially in light of the recent explosion of the sport. Western just keeps getting more popular and as such, more difficult to get into. The good news though is that there are a ton of other awesome races out there.

Have fun spectating this year! I'm sure you will give all the racers some much needed support!

Sorry to hear of the potential second surgery. I'm sure the decision to cancel your participation in WS and Hardrock was awfully difficult, but your perspective and attitude are admirable and set a good example for others. At some point, many of us will find ourselves in the situation you're in (in 2010, I thought it was over for me when I developed a severely wicked case of plantar, which sidelined me for 5 months). Also, keep in mind that, as ultrarunners, ordinary recovery timetables don't always apply to us. We're in such good condition that we can often come back from injuries faster than others, provided we do the smart thing and give ourselves a break, as you are doing. You'll come back from this at 100%, and we all know that you'll get that 1000-mile WS buckle in a few years. I'll bet this year's WS, which you'll see from a very different angle, goes down as one of your most memorable!

That's unfortunate, Andy… I'd recommend a dash cam in the truck–certain there would be some really good out takes.

After, personally, attempting to get in each year since the '07 lottery, the embers are barely lit. But, posts like this are like a strong breeze that fans that ember back to bright red. Thankfully, I have the experience of pacing from FH to the track in '07 and was an all-day specator in '10. Watching all the runners that year crest Immigrant as the sun rose over the Lake was really special.

I hope your recovery goes smoothly and the trail running community gets to see and hear about your races in the near future. I know your dedication and passion for the sport via reading your articles and postings. Wishing you a quick and healthy recovery so you are back on the trails soon.

As the others mentioned, making the decision to not run this WS100 had to be hard but you know what is right you and are looking toward the future. I know the runners at this years race will be glad you are there supporting them and encouraging them to the finish. Great ambassador to the sport of ultra-running.

This was a timely post for me. This week I had to back out of a June ultra that I had been looking forward to for months. Plantar fascitis (one of your nemeses earlier this year, right?)hampered training and I realized that I simply wasn't ready. Your words capture the disappointment alongside an honest acceptance of what is of greatest value and importance in all of this. It is a reminder that we can be grateful for the ability to put one foot in front of the other and make our way through this wondrous world. Sometimes we are given the extra gift of doing it a bit faster and farther! Peace to you as you recover, heal, and support others on their ultra-adventures.

AJW what were some of the symptoms with your meniscus? I have been having some strange knee issues, mainly a sharpe pain outside and below me knee cap just to the side of my petalla, when the knee my knee almost like something is being pinched.

Just thought I would ask seems like you have had some recent issues with knee stuff.

If it's any consolation, I'm two years away from even APPLYING for the first time based on a pending deployment (an all expenses paid vacation by the Army to somewhere dusty and miserable). So I think you are approaching it with the right attitude for sure. Enjoy the opportunity to encourage others and lend your support. In the meantime, get better!

I agree with your Mom! Way to be smart instead of pushing through when you know you weren't right physically! Sometimes "manning up" (as my 23 year old son is fond of saying) is not what you need, but being smart is.

No way are you done! You will heal, and you will compete again at a high level! In the meantime you will contribute to our wonderful sport in other ways.