Queen 'totally buzzed' at being left in charge for half an hour

The normally calm and regal Queen was today reported to be 'wired, rushing and totally buzzed' at being left to run the country for a few minutes whilst the Prime Minister changed over.

The brief constitutional blip saw attempts to unite the UK with Germany, wage war on France and launch nuclear weapons at the Duchess of York.

Buckingham Palace was keen to reassure the nation that 'all was entirely normal' after the Queen's half-hour rampage. 'Her Majesty is now fulfilling the role of constitutional monarch as normal,' said a spokesman. 'Only very slight damage to France occurred, mainly around Calais. We've been assured that levels of radioactivity near the Duchess of York will return to normal in as little as 25,000 years.'