This site and everyones' responses has helped me more than many people will ever know. I would like to say a special thank you to forthemasses, icc and all those on the addiction board too. You all taught me to see things from another perspective, namely my sons.
I've finally quit being that dog who chases its tail, never coming up with new solutions. All that 'digging' and 'chasing' was necessary in order to find peace.
It has been a very emotional, necessary, healing journey.

Thank you all. I hope everyone finds peace within themselves, especially forthemassess. Your theraputic, honest, caring nature has always given me something to think about. I hope things turn out good for yourself because you truly deserve it.