Yes, you absolutely are. Because not getting a high school education like everyone else means your kid will know nothing useful, and be unready to get a job and unsuited for life.

OK, sarcasm aside, let's take a look at this question sincerely. It's a legitimate worry, because unschooling parents are taking a big risk -- if everyone else is doing regular schooling, that's the safe play. Doing something radically different with something that could affect your kid's future life means you're taking a huge risk with a potentially huge downside, right?

Well, actually I don't think so. Let's look at the risk ... and in doing so we can see at why unschooling is actually improving your kid's life.

The Non-existent Risk

If you're unschooling your kid, could it ruin her life?

Well, let's take the worst-case scenario.

She does nothing during her unschooling years, and watches TV and plays video games. She learns very little math or English skills, never studies science or history.

Well, that's highly unlikely. First of all, kids learn to read if their parents read. They want to learn to read stuff on TV and can't play video games without reading, to start with. But if you read to your kid, she'll learn to read.

Second, they'll learn a little math. Counting, addition and subtraction, at the very least, to get by on a day-to-day basis.

And kids are curious. They ask questions, and if you help them find the answers, they'll learn a lot. If you show them how to find answers, that's a valuable skill right there.

Take the kid places once in awhile. Set an example by doing interesting things and learning stuff on your own all the time. Talk to the kid.

So the realistic worst-case scenario is that the kid does very little, but still learns some stuff. And here's what the kid really learned:

Some basic English and math skills;

Random things they're interested in;

How to learn and find stuff out on their own;

That curiosity is good;

That you don't need to conform and do what everyone else does.

There's more, but that's a great start. Now the kid is 18, and perhaps is behind others in job skills, but can easily learn a few things on her own and catch up. Plus she hasn't had curiosity driven out of her, and knows how to teach herself, which is something many kids who go to school don't have.

The More Probable Scenario

That's the most likely worst-case scenario ... but actually I've never really heard of unschoolers who end up learning so little. In reality, unschoolers do a lot of things beyond watching TV and playing video games (though those activities aren't necessarily worse than others).

What are unschoolers more likely to do?

Here's a more likely list of activities over the course of an unschooling career (besides just TV & video games):

Reading novels;

Getting into topics like animation or Greek mythology and diving deep into them;

Creative projects like dollhouses and starting a Youtube channel;

Learning guitar or piano;

Traveling a bit and learning a language;

Drawing, making comic books, writing short stories, writing a novel during NaNoWriMo;

Geeking out on science and doing some cool science projects;

Going on nature field trips and learning about bugs and ecology;

Doing pushup challenges and running 5Ks;

Learning to program and making an iPhone app;

Starting their own small business.

The list could go on and on. Over the course of a year, a kid might only do a few of those, but over the course of 10-15 years, the list would be much longer.

And you could see that they don't have to cram a lot into each year to have a long list of activities, skills, things they really learned about.

And here's what they really learned:

How to teach themselves;

That they don't need an authority to hand down knowledge or tell them what to do;

How to overcome fear of the unknown;

How to have confidence in themselves;

How to start something and get excited about it and finish it;

How to motivate themselves;

That learning is fantastic;

That an unconventional life is a good one;

To think for themselves.

And so on. This is a list of skills that an entrepreneur might have. That a fantastic employee might have. That someone well-prepared for life might have.

That's not ruining her life. That's creating a great life.

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Of course this assumes that the child has no learning disabilities which might require specialized instruction, and no neurological, physical or mental health issues that might make autodidaction difficult. Also, it assumes the parent is invested in the child and financially able to provide the activities, and not working full time so available to interact with the child and model and teach social skills. It is hubris to think that you can know what the outcome will be for any child. Let's see what you post twenty years from now when you have seen the results.

I am an UnSchooling mom. While growing up, I went to Special Needs Public school. Part of my disability is neurological. And I am not financially able, as you have put it. But with the help of God I model and teach very good social skills to my children. My son recently told me I have showed and taught him Unconditional Love. Since my children are 14 and 20, I have been homeschooling for over twenty years since I have technically been teaching them since the day they were born. My twenty year old is now studying in American Job Corps. in Colorado. He is finishing up on working on getting his diploma, is a dorm leader, is studying Cisco Networking, has Great future business plans, and has just been made student of the month out of several hundred other students. And my daughter is working on getting a summer job and has volunteered at several different places. Unschooling has provided my children to learn lots of their likes, dislikes, and things that most interest them, and also taught them the best ways of learning that works for them. It has taught them a lot about themselves and others.

Thank you for sharing your encouraging story and proving the "Avaclare" poster to have false assumptions. I'm with you that the greatest thing we can teach our children is how to demonstrate real love - patient, kind, humble love. With that quality alone you are miles ahead of most people. Well done Nativemamawolf

Generally if you are unschooling, by definition there is a parent who isn't working. Otherwise, it would be irresponsible to leave your child at home under a certain age. Also, many children with learning disabilities would benefit from an unschooling education, as being in school can create as many issues as it resolves. Being at home is a far less stressful environment then traveling to school 5 days a week. And parent's don't need to be rich to financially provide activities. Many things are free, and low cost. The internet is a haven of knowledge and information, and most middle class to even poor families can afford it. And if a child is intensely interested in an activity, they would be motivated to do the work to earn the funds to participate in that activity, which teaches values that public school couldn't even begin to teach.

I don't think this post exhibits hubris, as she addressed the worst case scenario, and then added a realistic mitigation to that scenario. Kids, when not told what to do, must do SOMETHING. Natural curiosity is powerful. And so in that, they are going to learn basic skills. There were many, many things I didn't know about the world after I left both homeschool and highschool. I wasn't even unschooled. I was smart, and got good grades, but life calls for much more than just smarts and good grades, skills which unschooling is uniquely equipped to teach.

I don't think people should presume to "define" the homeschool/unschool model for others. I am a single mom, a freelance writer working from home. My son is 8 and we have been unschool homeschooling for almost 3 years.. I work early in the morning or late at night and I work enough but not excessively, doing without many material things other women seem to thrive on like trips to the salon and expensive clothes and shoes. We live in a city and don't need a car. The result? We have LOADS of time together for activities, reading, learning practical skills and investigating the world. We both do learning online. When people ask us about our habits, I tell them that this works for MY son - some kids seem to thrive at an institutional school so that's great for them. I think there are many fundamental issues in that environment, not the least of which is the curriculum is dumbed down and the expectations of the children is set by the teacher's need to manage 25 kids at once and NOT for the child's benefit. This method is a way of life, and can be managed for people of all incomes and circumstances.

Thank you. Also, for anyone who wonders what happens to unschoolers after 20 years... here's a good read... https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/freedom-learn/201406/survey-grown-unschoolers-i-overview-findings

I just want to give another perspective. Although I think unschooling is great for most kids, don´t try this with lazy kids. I recently met a father who pulled his kid out of school because he flunked every year. Whenasked why he didn´t manage to pass, the kid said: "I´m just too lazy to study." The kid admits not having any skills (which is true), he can´t write correctly, his math skill is elementary at best, he can´t draw, can´t program a computer (although his father has a small programming business and is willing to teach), the list goes on. The kid states his lack of ability as a matter of fact. He isn´t uncomfortable at all while stating it. When asked if he wants to do something about it, get better at the very things he rates himself to be bad at (notice that nobody is telling he is bad at the subjects... he himself points this out), he answers: "I don´t know, maybe, if it´s not too much work." When asked if he has any interests of his own that he would like to pursue, the kid answers: "No, not really." On top of that he is uncooperative, doesn´t help out at home or anywhere else. He is just... broken somehow. The parents are now desperately trying unschooling on him. He remains his uninterested, uncooperative, uncaring, unskilled self.

My point is: Normal kids that are curious and naturally cooperative are great for unschooling (they would be great in school too - perhaps only held back a little by the whole structure). But all in all, normal kids are just great no matter what. So unschooling is a huge advantage to them. But kids that have some weird attitude problem, have to have this taken care of first. This isn´t a schooling problem. It is a psychological or some other kind of problem. Unschooling isn´t magical. I do not advise to try it with a kid that has problematic character traits. I´ve seen what the lack of structure is doing to a naturally weird kid. The kid is getting worse by the minute and there is nothing that the kid can hold on to, to find some kind of bearingsin his life.

Unschooling, or homeschooling, isn't just about education. Its about making a personal connection with your child's needs. To me, your judgement of this young man, who is clearly struggling, is both unfair and unkind. You categorize him as not "normal" and "lazy", you attack is "character" and call him "weird"; only you say you just met the family. He could have dyslexia, or another undiscovered learning disability, he could have other medical, emotional or psychological issues, and perhaps the parent(s) are at a loss as to how to discover what else may be going on. This young man's success in life will depend on someone looking past his grades, his habits, and his comments and searching for unmet needs and struggles - with compassion and understanding. I would not discount homeschooling as an appropriate response to those needs. The one thing we don't necessarily learn in school is how to hold compassion for others in our hearts. I would suggest that one important step to becoming a well-rounded person is to take a serious, whole-hearted inventory of our OWN traits and work on those things that are lacking prior to passing public judgement on others. Unschooling, or even homeschooling, isn't "magic", but its success can be magical when it reaches a child who is struggling in a meaningful way. I would suggest this resource as a good starting point for gaining insightful parenting skills: http://www.peacefulparent.com/

It sounds like all you lack is confidence. What makes you think that someone else has a more vested interest in seeing your children succeed that their mother? A loving, caring, intelligent parent will not ruin their children. A system that is driven by economics, crippled by scale, run by union ethics and subject to crowd mentality is more likely to ruin your children than you are. You may believe they can do better because you have been told to believe that. You have been told that the so-called professionals know better than you. That is job security, not interest in your child's wellbeing. That being said, if you don't choose to homeschool because it is not something you want to do, that is nothing to feel bad about. Not all parents do want that, and there are good schools and heathly ways to navigate their system. Just know, if you want to, don't let anyone make you think you are not capable.

My unschooled 10-yr-old son can already operate a small excavator better than many of the men that my husband has worked with in the field. He can take apart broken electronics, and either fix them or salvage parts to fix or build other electronics. He has helped build sheds, treehouses, etc. He has watched and learned from a welder, electrician, and other trades. An electrician once told us that our then 8-yr-old was doing things that he didn't learn until trade school. On his own iniative he does some types of science experiments. He suddenly decides to draw a blueprint of how our furnace operates. He is very right-brained, and for this type of learner reading skills don't click until somewhere between the ages of 8-10. ( read The Right Side of Normal to learn more ) So as of yet he is barely reading, and has little interest in reading thus far. So according to the sceptics that would mean that my son will never get a good job or succeed in the business world. According to them we have set our son up for lifelong failure. REALLY? I think not. Get serious people and see that this boy does many things that many grown men can't even do. The reading will come in its own time, and he will be even be good at it too.

There is a possible culture clash with traditional education and unconventional learning. Self-guided learning resonated with me personally because the attitudes of teachers (a majority) had no passion for teaching their subjects. Some did though. That ferver for a topic is contageous.

You're missing a key point, which is that unschooling is primarily child led which means a child is actually learning their own perspective rather than the prescribed one. It's also naive and some what frightening that you think going to school teaches other perspectives when it's a system that takes the same learning approach for every individual. You're also working to the assumption that unschooled children never leave the house or interact with other people and families.......

Dear Leo, I am from Malaysia and after reading your two cents worth of advice I felt that I could really breathe with ease. I was homeschooling all the while but when the family had a financial crisis I had to take on a project which left the children without me directing the way. Having read your postings had given me ideas on unschooling and I have also met up with families who unschool. We hae had so much excitement and joy. THANKS LEO....hugs of gratitude

Unschooling is a version, a subset, of homeschooling -- schooling at home. I also think it's the best version of homeschooling (or learning in general), because it prepares you for life, for being an entrepreneur, for learning anything, for being autonomous.

What makes unschooling different from other homeschooling methods? Often when people homeschool, they just do school at home -- do a curriculum with math, science, reading, history, etc. at home, often with similar teaching methods and books.

But that doesn't take advantage of the freedom of homeschooling! We can do whatever we want, because there are no rules, no one to tell us we're doing it wrong, which means we can get creative as hell.