Year-round Yuletide oddities

Category Archives: eezee lisseneen

The Beatles’ melancholy reflective ode was nominated for six Grammys in total that year, and its album Help! was also nominated in four categories… won the Ivor Novello Award for “Outstanding Song of 1965″… ranked 13th on Rolling Stone’s 2004 list “The 500 Greatest Songs of All Time”… and fourth on the magazine’s list “The Beatles 100 Greatest Songs” (compiled in 2010)… inducted into the Grammy Hall of Fame in 1997… voted the best song of the 20th century in a 1999 BBC Radio 2 poll of music experts and listeners… voted the No. 1 pop song of all time by MTV and Rolling Stone magazine 1998…criticised for being mundane and mawkish… BBC (2012) reported that it remained the fourth most successful song of all-time in terms of royalties paid, having amassed a total of £19.5 million in payments (more than 2,200 cover version) one of the most covered songs in the history of recorded music… after Muzak switched in the 1990s to programs based on commercial recordings, its inventory grew to include about 500 covers… Broadcast Music Incorporated (BMI) asserts that it was performed over seven million times in the 20th century.

Yeah, so let’s make some merry! The Mistletones bring their odd parody skills (with glass bells) to “Holidays.” Stresses the right notes.

Elvis’s slow dance ballad topped the British charts… was certified by the RIAA as a Platinum record, for US sales in excess of one million copies… peaked at number two on the US pop chart… went to number one on the Easy Listening chart for six weeks.

For the next couple months i will share the sincerest form of flattening, copying someone else’s tune. But inserting a Christmas song to it! Totally. Some people are spot on this paro-deus form of musicality. Bob Rivers is the Obi Wan of it all. ApologetiX will be featured again and again as masterful Christian cover-makers. Robert Lund (from FuMP) fills in FM stations with his latest jiggery pokery. My man here Joel Kopischke has a cottage industry in performing little shows THAT time of year. As do The ’60s Invasion. Many amateurs post their talents. Other big deal ‘tubers (like KeyofAwesome) bring studio quality to the fun.

So, we’ll wend our way through the decades, stealing stats from Wikipedia to clue you in to the monster hits that are the targets here. (None of the originals will be linked; they aren’t Xmas. So there.)

Let’s get going.

Dean Martin’s signature number tumbled out of his Martin-Lewis pic ‘The Caddy’ and was nominated for an Academy award. It hit number 2 as a single later and has followed him like the smell of cheese since (many enjoy that smell).

Gentile Joel Kopischke reminds of of other holidays with “That’s a Menorah.” Sing a long! Now just the Jews!

Action stars aren’t always romantic leads, but Patrick Swayze was People’s Sexiest Man of the Year in 1991. Because he was so sensitively in ‘The Outsiders’ and ‘To Wong Foo…’ and even ‘Ghost’ he gets a pass as a boot-to-the-head lunk. Cool guy.

The Mystery Science Theatre Three Thousand jokers have a mini-hit on their hands with “Let’s Have a Patrick Swayze Christmas.” It’s a gentle blend of mean and fun with some lifting vocals.

Crack and crackhead-ery are a state of being as much as a physical/psychological condition.

Bobby Joe Ebola and the Children MacNuggits present “Spending Christmas on Crack” as a medley of horrifyingly humorous Christmas parodies enthemed with the tragedy of human suffering. Not so much with the actual drugs. So there.

Now don’t remember, kids’ songs and human despair are a comic contrast that can’t miss. “Frosty the Crackhead” is a labor of love from Charlie Price (it seems to go on well past its point). Sores on his face? Tell me more for two more minutes! “Frosty the Dope Man” from Keith from up da Block is slightly less successful. But the karaoke soundtrack is sprightly. JoeyCast has a bit more BLUE fun. Knock Out ups the beat (also BLUE).

Karl Bingle borrows from ‘So They Say’ with “Crackhead Christmas,” setting the scene for an unholy night with pretty strumming.

Sots sup! Or they lap, toss, bib, quaff–you know. Hard drinkers don’t need an excuse to drink. But Xmas is the reason for the saucing, if there ever were one.

So here’s to the boozehounds! We should laugh at them! Go ahead, you have permission.

The New Wave of Swedish Celtic Punk may have begun with Finnegan’s Hell. Their “Drunken Christmas” toasts and toasts and toasts until roasted. Beware their video: neglected children, wasted pregnancy, and punched Santas are not the worst of it.

Swallowing his lyrics and BLUE ALERT swearing up a storm, UZ Worm swaps out ‘Holly Jolly’ for “Alcoholic Christmas.” Silly old sot.

Grayson Walker and J McLaughlin cut a jig in their “Christmas Alcoholic” ruining the yuletides for all but those who wish to laugh and point. It’s pop lounge with a dash of oompah. He ho ha, lookit that.

Jack Kuper has a festive number “An Alcoholic Christmas,” which not only explains how to get high as a kite, but adds footnotes, marginalia, and popups to decorate this bouncy fun little number. Partake!

The idea of observing the drinker lose volubility as vivaciousness increases is not the discovery of youtube circa 2003. The hilarious descent into stupor is an old nightclub bit at least as famous as Fay McKay’s Vegas routine “The 12 Drinks of Christmas.” Yeah it goes on forever, but do you feel bad for laughing at her incapacity?

Less successfully with the same formula is Frankie Ford. He takes forever to get going and even longer to get funny.

Danny McMaster applies a bit of the old Australian on his adaptation. He slushes right away, or is that his Ozzie accent?

Time to dine for the Lord! Some suggest the solstice holidays are the time to binge on the big feast so you’ll be able to last until you can gather, plant, scavenge, or shop for more. Dinner is that big excuse for all the relatives to gather, what else are you going to do with all those uncertain uncles and cousins–mingle?!

May we bow our heads and throw down the big meal right at the start with the big guns.

Tennessee Ernie Ford was a Country Music Hall of Famer best known for ‘Sixteen Tons,’ though around here we admire his booming bass for his come-to-Jesus gospel numbers. “Christmas Dinner” may be overproduced, smothering his country drawl with too many instruments, but the boy’s oodles and oodles of charm calls us to the table. Let’s eat!

Bing brings it to the middle classes with “Christmas Dinner, Country Style.” Hoe down music can’t jug this smooth crooner. Slumming down to this mischievous mish mash of big band music made surbubans feel superior. Join in!