Everyone’s Crazy

October 26, 2018

We’re all lucky Trump enters politics and tells us Barack Obama was born in Kenya and is quite different and ruining the country with Obamacare and debt and Bill Clinton’s a sexual predator and we should lock up Crooked Hillary and that CNN and others are fake news, look right over there he points at enemies we jeer, and John Brennan’s an erratic communist whose security clearance he has to take away and George Soros is a socialist who hired cranky women to oppose Brett Kavanaugh and Maxine Waters is a crazy low-IQ broad.

It’s not Trump’s fault someone sent yellow manila envelopes containing pipe bombs to his verbal targets and he immediately denounces these despicable acts and promises we’ll spare no resources to stamp out threats of violence that have no place in America. He also reminds us “the media has a responsibility to set a civil tone and to stop the endless hostility and constant negative and often fake attacks and stories.”

The president knows Mitch McConnell is stalked and insulted when he walks through an airport and he and his wife can’t eat in a restaurant unless a man pounds their table and tells them to get out and a woman screams he’s a traitor and flips him off. And he remembers Maxine Waters only believes in civil rights for some since she says, “If you see anybody from Trump’s cabinet in a restaurant, a department store, a gas station, you get out and you create a crowd and you push back on them and you tell them they’re not welcome anymore, anywhere.”

Some people wear black hoods and others wear white hoods while thousands of migrants from Central America march toward a wall of hostility and our good friend Mohammed bin Salman lies and kills at home and abroad and we battle Chinese in trade and plan for wars on land at sea and in space as we joust with Russians about which missiles the other has and we lie about Iranians who lie about almost everything but their compliance with the nuclear deal and the air’s getting pretty dirty but we can ignore it and be happy everything’s swell here compared to most places.