What if Women Ruled the World? : The Battle of all Mothers

What if Women Ruled the World? : The Battle of all Mothers

There is a time-honoured saying that ‘Mother's knows best’ not only about mothering you know, but about everything.

Well that's what they say don't they?

But if it were true then shouldn't we put the mothers of the World in charge of everything?

English comedienne Victoria Wood pondered on this many years ago. I think she ventured that instead of sending troops into battle more female politicians would just criticise each others dress sense or cake recipes. And she said this without a hint of patronisation.

But politicians treat us like children anyway, that's when they're not treating us like idiots, so maybe not a bad idea after all. I think she would make a great Queen Victoria II, we are all very amused.

Female politicians are a bit more ruthless than merely squabbling down at the local church coffee morning. Who knows how things would've turned out if Hillary Clinton had got the Democrat nomination. But maybe the ideal would be somewhere in between the two extremes.

Mrs Rumsfeld: “And don’t you talk to my pal like that or I’ll kick your butt”

Mrs Saddam: “Ohh!! Listen to that backstabber, and to think you used to be a friend of mine”

Mrs Rumsfeld: “Don’t kid yourself, I never liked you anyway”

Mrs Saddam: “Okay dokay, you both want a piece of the action then?”

Mrs Bush: “Bring it on!!”

This bitter confrontation continued over several episodes for many weeks until the local Mediation Officer Mrs Annan from the Municipal Housing Team was summoned. Coincidentally she called around just as another fight had broken out:

It seemed that matters where getting a little out of hand and the Mediation Officer felt it was time to intervene. He had his work cut out but he was determined that peace negotiations should commence at once:

Mrs Annan: “Ladies, ladies, so much noise, you’re upsetting the whole street. Come on now, we all need to get together and settle this amicably”

Mrs Rumsfeld: “What’s it got to do with you asshole? You keep outa this”

Mrs Annan: “Now, Now! You know I have the ultimate authority around here in these matters”

Mrs Annan: “We’re not talking about evictions here people, but that is a moot point, you all know this can lead nowhere and will all ultimately end in tears”

After an anguished spell of accusation and counter-accusation, of threats and counter-threats the housewives all calm down eventually. Shuffling their feet and looking sheepishly at each other they begin to talk civily for once:

Mrs Cheney: “I’ll get back to you on that one honey” as she slinked away muttering to herself "There's more than one way to skin a cat" and disappeared to the cellar down below.

But Mrs Saddam was also placated and offered a hand of friendship to Mrs Bush while thanking Mrs Annan for intervening in the dispute.

Mrs Saddam: “I’m so glad you came Mrs Annan, it really was rather silly, all this nonsense. Why don’t you all come over to my conservatory in a renewed spirit of friendship. I have a couple of bottles of fine wine we can all share”

Mrs Bush: “It ain’t that French shit is it?”

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