August 2, 2016

Who’s the Boss?

“[It] dawned on
me [recently] that I need to really get a handle on my children's activities. I
do not want to be managed by their activities; I want to manage them. I need to
say no to some stuff. They will survive without [doing ‘everything’].”

These are
the words of a wise woman I met via a homeschool moms’ support group – but, of
course, her sentiment applies just as well to all moms. It’s also true that
this is the perfect time of year to ponder our intentions for our kids’
activities – because, whether our children attend typical public or private
school (i.e., following a September-to-May calendar) or we home-educate all
year round, most extracurriculars operate on that typical school schedule. As
such, everything is “ramping up” – either in the planning stages or actually
beginning – right now. Thus, making decisions right now will ease our
transition into this coming fall and beyond.

When kids
are young, it’s wise – for the sake of awakening their “smarts” and genius
qualities – to encourage them to try a wide variety of activities as interests
dictate. However, that doesn’t mean doing “everything” all at one time. I have
friends who allow each child just one away-from-home extracurricular activity
per week for each “season” or semester. Near the end of each season/semester, they
talk with each child to determine who would like to continue in the same
activity and who would like to try something different. The children don’t
clamor to do more because they realize they’ll have opportunities to try new
things soon; in fact, they’re relaxed and peaceful – as are the parents –
because they’re not constantly running from one activity to the next, and they
have time and energy to grow their creativity, imagination, and – very
importantly – family unity at home.

As children
mature, they often begin to hone in on a particular activity or two, desiring
to “go deep” rather than broad. And – assuming we’ve given them measured
opportunities to explore a wide variety of options when they were younger –
it’s perfectly appropriate to allow them to “specialize.” In fact, if a
grounded teenager expresses a strong interest for a particular activity, we do
her no favors by forcing her to be “well-rounded” - i.e., compelling her to
join in on myriad activities just for the sake of being involved. After all,
current passions might indicate potential career paths, and colleges prefer
those with deep interest in one area to those who flit from club to club,
trying to pad an application. And, even if a strong interest eventually
changes, the teen will not have wasted his time because the perseverance he
develops via delving into one passion can transfer to something else later on.

As you
ponder how God has wired each of your kids and their particular ages and
stages, how can you – like my friend – manage their activities this “school
year” rather than allowing the activities to manage you? Who will be the boss
over your calendar this year?

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