The ‘Girl Code’ Guide To Surviving Thanksgiving With Your Family

If Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year, then Thanksgiving is easily the most uncomfortable. Having to defend your single status to your mom while simultaneously being sucked into a tryptophan coma? Not fun. AND YOU DON’T EVEN GET PRESENTS.

But fear not, loyal “Girl Code“-ers! With this year’s gluttonous festivities less than a week away, we’re here to give you at least one thing to be thankful for: a guide of what NOT to do on Turkey Day. Below, we break down three T-Day tendencies that you should avoid at all costs if you want to survive the long weekend with (some of) your dignity intact.

DON’T break up with your boyfriend.
Common Thanksgiving traditions include eating until you dry heave, sorting through old clothes to see if any of it has come back in style and seeing everyone you hate from high school. Oh, and let’s not forget unceremoniously dumping your S.O. to focus more on “you” (a.k.a. join Tinder/suck face with that hot guy from your psych class). Naturally, you will deliver this fatal blow using soothing tones and tired cliches (e.g. “I need time to find myself”) until you roll your eyes, scream “THIS JUST ISN’T WORKING ANYMORE, OKAY?!” and storm off into your childhood bedroom. There, you’ll cringe under the all-knowing gaze of your tattered teddy bear, Ruffles, and his judgmental beady eyes will invite you to shout “What are YOU lookin’ at, jerk!?” It’s not a good look, and it certainly won’t make the four-hour dinner at the kids’ table more bearable. Do yourself a favor and bite your tongue ’til at least New Years.

DON’T drop a huge emotional bomb on your family.
Maybe you just swapped your major from pre-med to film studies, or maybe you quit that lucrative job in finance to hold up “Fur is Murder” signs at PETA rallies (and throw red paint all over the Kardashians every time they go out in their cozy fox carcasses). While you may feel compelled to drop your giant secret like an a-bomb at the dinner table, remember that bad news can usually wait. Aunt Ida’s amazing bread pudding, however, only comes once a year.

DON’T regress to your adolescent self.
Whether you’ve been away at school for the first time or earning paychecks in your real adult job for years, your parents will most likely treat you like a 13-year-old the second you walk back through their door. Wanna go over to your high school BFF’s house? Only if her parents are home! Going for a walk around the neighborhood to clear your head? Make sure you take your coat! It will grind at your nerves, no doubt, but you’re bound to only amplify their babying if you let it get to you. You must resist the urge to allow all the nosy questions and passive aggressive put-downs to turn you back into that sullen, short-tempered brat of yesteryear. Just keep calm…and stuff your face with comfort food.