You see, he’s always had this strange desire of wanting me to play the role of Mary when I’m pregnant. I avoided it when I was expecting Ali, but this year, he begged relentlessly.

And so, I agreed. With one condition: that he couldn’t be Joseph. After all – he doesn’t LOOK like Joseph. If he wanted me to be Mary, he had to be my Donkey.

And so, we had a deal.

Our Church holds a Trunk and Treat each year, where people dress their cars up with different themes and hand out candy to thousands of kids from the area, so Chris masterminded our theme:

Tailgating Traveling to Bethlehem.

We knew the distance we had to go…

And, for those who asked where Joseph was, he was headed out to fulfill my craving:

We were also prepared for our upcoming arrival:

Including the proper traveling safety measures:

And, of course, I had a reference book for the journey, just in case I ran into any questions:

Our entourage was a single angel,

Who travelled back and forth between our campsite and Heaven, which happened to be the car next door:

But our Angel was shockingly helpful with the candy-handing-out, despite her usual fear of strangers (especially strangely dressed ones), tirelessly picking up candy (only eating one in every 100 or so pieces),

And passing it out to the crushing crowds (over 3,000 visitors in 2 hours!!):

Donkey also handed out his fair share of candy, despite mixed reactions from the smaller consumers, including shock

And disgust.

And yes, I managed to hand out a bit also. And yes, I’m sure Mary had Birkenstocks and drank out of a Tervis Tumbler.

I had been having pretty intense contractions all day and the night before, so of course I was having visions of having to report to Labor and Delivery dressed as the Mother of God.

And, of course, them not having any rooms available.

However, I managed to survive without the need of the hospital stable.

Donkey was the one who was probably closer to passing out than I – rubber masks and thick flannel onesies, apparently, aren’t so breathable. Every now and then, he would disgust me to the point of hysterical laughter when he would open his donkey mouth really wide and point the mouth-hole downward, creating a literal waterfall of sweat to empty out his snout.

It was nasty. Just like Donkeys tend to be.

And Ali – she had a wonderful time. Despite giving out candy, collecting her own candy, seeing all of the costumes and hanging out with her friends, when I asked her what her favorite part of the whole night was, she quickly and confidently responded…

“Seeing the old pumpkin by the trash can when I went to throw away all of the candy wrappers!!!”

I think every picture is great and it looks like you had a really great time. Now that is what Halloween should be all about. You are the prettiest Mary I have ever seen and I know that little angel protected you. As for the donkey, he fit the role well. Yes, modern day Mary would wear Birkenstocks and drink out of a Tervis tumbler I am sure. You all did a real community service.

That is SO cute! Love all the ideas. Too funny. What a fun tradition to do the trunk-or-treat! I have heard of that, but not the themed cars part. I can't believe you had that many kids though! Wow!

Ali looked so cute in her angel costume and you looked beautiful as Mary! That's kind of crazy that you are contracting so much already. Hope Noah decides to wait a little longer to make his grand entrance!

ok rachel, pretty much every post you write is funny…but this one? I seriously laughed for a VERY long time. What great ideas, creativity, and willingness to be self-deprecating (for chris anyway)! I love that chris took the lead, too!

And…would it not have been funny to check into the hospital as Mary?! hahahahahahah! I'm going to love this post forever. =)

You guys were the best trunk, no contest! I loved the What to Expect book. It cracked me up last night and made me laugh all over again today. Kudos to Chris for the excellent idea and to you for all the extra funnies (know you played a big role there)! Special props to Aubrey for her stellar performance of "DISGUSTED." She has that look down!

I am new to this site and I just LOVE it!.. You are so funny. I came across it because of the blog you did about power outages since I work for one of Alabama’s sister companies. Keep up the good work!