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Welcome to Estrofests, our blog about women's parties. We hope to inspire girlfriend get-togethers to celebrate everything about being a woman. Please leave comments and ideas. We want to hear from you.

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Sep 29, 2013

“The rules of
soccer are very simple, basically it is this: if it moves, kick it. If it
doesn't move, kick it until it does.” -
Phil Woosnam

Sitting outside in the
blazing 300 degree Texas sun, make-up melting and sliding down my face like war
paint, I’m hoping that my deodorant lasts at least an hour. Across the field I
see moms having wet t-shirt contests in order to stay cool. Bitches. This is my
Saturday morning ritual at 5 year old soccer.

I thought soccer would be a
great way for my kids to get some exercise and learn teamwork. Turns out that
I’ve joined some kind of insidious cult. Parents are on the sidelines screaming
and running around like maniacs without medication. Note to screaming parents: your kids
can’t hear you!

This past Saturday was our 3rd
soccer game of the fall season. It started out like most games: one kid crying
because he didn’t want to play, one kid trying to catch butterflies, one kid
dancing around holding himself because he had to pee, everyone clustered on top
of the ball. But this game was to be different. The other team kept pushing and
tripping our boys. Finally one of our parents yelled at the ref and jabbed her finger
into his chest. Well, that didn’t go well … our team is now on probation …

They need to pass out Valium at these things…..

For your next girlfriends’
get together, when you absolutely need Valium (or chocolate!), make these delicious chocolate
bars. Serve with vodka.

Healthy Chocolate Bars

½ cup peanut butter

¼ cup butter

1/3 cup honey

1.5 cup real oats (not
instant)

2 tablespoons flax seed

1 teaspoon vanilla

½ cup semi-sweet chocolate
chips

Melt the honey, peanut
butter and butter in a pot over medium heat, stirring constantly. Remove from
burner once melted. Pour in the oats, vanilla, flax seed, and chocolate chips.
Stir until ingredients are combined. Pour into a well-greased 8X8 pan and put
it in the fridge until the mixture cools. Cut and eat!