Jaromir Jagr was arrested and detained for questioning late last night in his home town of Kladno in the Czech Republic. A series of deaths and near fatalities have been linked to his peanut butter conglomerate. Apparently the labeling contains no warning that there are indeed peanuts in Jagr’s product and a bus full of tourists got so excited when they saw their hockey hero’s face on the jar that they all had to have a taste. Oddly 60% of those on the tour were highly allergic to peanut products. So far 4 deaths have occurred and 7 have been hospitalized. One survivor was quoted as saying that he, “thought that peanut meant almond in Czech…” Mr Jagr was unavailable for comment.

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