Category: Hotels & Lodging

A good hotel prides itself on providing a decent service to all its guests. But when its guests are our stupid customers, there is very little they can do to remedy the situation except pray they’re fully booked the next time they come around!

Girl: “Oh, we will. I’m touring my boyfriend’s college and he decided to make it a romantic night instead of staying in his dorm!”

(Come Sunday I’m working the desk when I see the young man running through the lobby, completely naked. Hot on his heels is an older man, and following him is the girl also very naked.)

Girl:*yelling* “Dad, stop!”

(Security managed to stop the dad, but the boyfriend was out the door and down the street before they could stop him. The police brought him back a few hours later, laughing their asses off. Apparently Dad had gotten a fraud alert when his daughter used her card out of state and had noticed some interesting purchases. Mom came in a few days later and made Dad apologize.)

(We sometimes host summer camps for kids in our dormitory over the summer when there are not students living here. I am checking in an adult man who is here as a counselor.)

Me: “All right, you’re in room 291. That’s on the second floor, and here’s your room key. This is your meal card; it will work in our upstairs dining hall. The elevators are to your right.”

(The man goes to his room. About 15 minutes later, he’s back.)

Customer: “Where is the bathroom, and what’s the code?”

(Our community bathrooms require people to punch a code into the door so that only men can get into the men’s bathroom and only women can get into the women’s bathroom.)

Me: “You’re in 291, right?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “291 has a connecting bath. It’s in the room.”

Customer: “Really? I didn’t see it.”

Me: “Let me check for you.” *I pull up the floor plan and confirm that his room is does indeed have a connecting bath.* “Yes, sir, you do have a connecting bath. You’ll share it with the person in the next room over like a Jack-and-Jill bathroom. When you walk into your room, there will be two closets on your right and then a brown door. That door leads to the bathroom.”