Being picky about unimportant details and making other people miserable as a result of your own pecadillos: Edition: My wedding.

Major fight ensued. She also had a particular style in mind for my gown that was not going to happen. So another fight ensued, "But that's the only REAL wedding gown style!" Yaddayaddayadda. I went to Another Store and bought the gown I wanted, mostly with my own money. Cue my mother's negative comments for MONTHS about, "I can't believe you didn't go to Borgias! I got my mother of the bride gown there! What will people think if you don't get your gown there?" To which at one point, I retorted, "That YOU are cheap?"

I guess the guests at my wedding were all just appalled that the dress my mom wore as her MOB dress was a dress that belonged to me.

Off topic but this amuses me the whole idea that everyone actually cares where someone got their dress or that they are designer. I remember watching one of those help people out of debt shows that had a woman on who was adament that she needed to buy designer purses that she didn't like non designer ones and everyone would know that they we're knock offs. So they tested her by showing her an assortment of purses and asking which were designer and which weren't. She couldn't tell, just by looking.

I'm not saying it's bad to like designer things (or expensive things) just trying to justify wanting them by what others think or what you assume others think. Buy it because you love it. Or like it no matter where you got it or who made it.

Along that line, I have a mother-daughter team in my family who are both obsessed with labels and prices.

Example 1: Daughter is getting married 30+ years ago. Very unusually for the time/place, she registers at the only place you could register -- a jewelry store -- for china. It was also very unusual for their family/friends to even own china. In any case the price per place setting was $65. This was at a time when minimum wage in the US was $2, so $65 would have been nearly a week's wages for many people. In other words -- very expensive. The mother and daughter were quite disappointed that a month before the wedding, only 2 place settings had been purchased. They were broadly hinting that I should buy a setting, but I explained to them that I was making minimum wage and wasn't blowing nearly a week's wages on a wedding gift. Too bad, so sad. I was visiting them one Sunday and reading the Sunday paper and to my astonishment, saw that at a local discount/odd lot store, they were selling that same place setting for $20. I immediately jumped up, grabbed my purse and announced to the mother that I was off to buy the wedding gift! Yeah! But... not so fast. Mother actually grabs my arm and starts yelling at me for being cheap and foisting a "knock-off" on her daughter. I pointed out that this odd lot store has the real deal, not knock offs and that it's not cheap to buy something at a great price, it's good sense. She totally freaks out and says that if I "won't spend the RIGHT amount on the gift, then don't give it at all, because your cheapness will taint it forever. My daughter won't even eat off of plates you got on sale." So I didn't buy the setting. They ended up only getting 2 place settings.

Example 2: Many years later, the mother of the mother in this duo asked for a certain lamp for Xmas. (So the grandmother of the daughter in the duo.) She mentioned that she had seen it at Store A. The SIL of the daughter is asked to go in on the lamp as it's expensive. SIL goes out to buy the lamp and realizes she's seen it at the same discount/odd-lot store as in Example 1, for 25% of the original price. She goes back to the other store and buys it, telling the mother-daughter duo of the great deal, (foolishly) expecting them to be happy to have saved 75%. Mother-daughter duo explodes at her, tells her she's cheap and wails that, "What will people think of us for buying a gift at a discount?"

If you ask me to check something or look for something obscure on the internet while you are sitting there with your ipad in your hand I will think it strange but will assume you are showing respect for my superior search skills.

If you then start firing instructions at me - "just type (random sentence fragment with only the most tenuous connection to what you have asked)" "read me the search results (meaning start at the top and keep reading out loud until I tell you to stop", "just go to wikipedia and look for (thing you have asked me to check)" I will realise that you are just using me as a voice operated typing machine because you can't be bothered to get off facebook for twenty seconds.

Along that line, I have a mother-daughter team in my family who are both obsessed with labels and prices.

Example 1: Daughter is getting married 30+ years ago. Very unusually for the time/place, she registers at the only place you could register -- a jewelry store -- for china. It was also very unusual for their family/friends to even own china. In any case the price per place setting was $65. This was at a time when minimum wage in the US was $2, so $65 would have been nearly a week's wages for many people. In other words -- very expensive. The mother and daughter were quite disappointed that a month before the wedding, only 2 place settings had been purchased. They were broadly hinting that I should buy a setting, but I explained to them that I was making minimum wage and wasn't blowing nearly a week's wages on a wedding gift. Too bad, so sad. I was visiting them one Sunday and reading the Sunday paper and to my astonishment, saw that at a local discount/odd lot store, they were selling that same place setting for $20. I immediately jumped up, grabbed my purse and announced to the mother that I was off to buy the wedding gift! Yeah! But... not so fast. Mother actually grabs my arm and starts yelling at me for being cheap and foisting a "knock-off" on her daughter. I pointed out that this odd lot store has the real deal, not knock offs and that it's not cheap to buy something at a great price, it's good sense. She totally freaks out and says that if I "won't spend the RIGHT amount on the gift, then don't give it at all, because your cheapness will taint it forever. My daughter won't even eat off of plates you got on sale." So I didn't buy the setting. They ended up only getting 2 place settings.

Example 2: Many years later, the mother of the mother in this duo asked for a certain lamp for Xmas. (So the grandmother of the daughter in the duo.) She mentioned that she had seen it at Store A. The SIL of the daughter is asked to go in on the lamp as it's expensive. SIL goes out to buy the lamp and realizes she's seen it at the same discount/odd-lot store as in Example 1, for 25% of the original price. She goes back to the other store and buys it, telling the mother-daughter duo of the great deal, (foolishly) expecting them to be happy to have saved 75%. Mother-daughter duo explodes at her, tells her she's cheap and wails that, "What will people think of us for buying a gift at a discount?"

Wow. That's two people for whom I would never buy another gift.

I've told this story before, but here goes:

A former boyfriend was a cheapskate and that was only one reason he became history. We remained in contact after the breakup and two years later he got engaged. I was invited to the bridal shower but had to decline because I was going to be away on vacation. The payday after my return my gut told me to go to Odd Lot (I miss those stores). No real reason. I had not yet purchased the gift, which I had originally intended to be a set of sheets.

The store had a set of 6 teacups and saucers made of the kind of heavy amber glass normally used for ashtrays. They were from France and must have been acquired through a customs auction. It was the last one in the store.

The price? $2.49. You saw that correctly. I had the same Angel/Devil moment as the lead character in Animal House and the devil won.

I picked up a card, wrapped the set in paper I already had, and brought it over to their place on Saturday afternoon. He was thrilled to pieces and immediately put the set in the $1500 breakfront that his mother had given them.

To this day -- over 20 years later -- he still doesn't know and I am still laughing.

I have learned that the only people whom to reveal the source to in such situations are others who bargain-hunt or just have the Shopping Gene.

A former boyfriend was a cheapskate and that was only one reason he became history. We remained in contact after the breakup and two years later he got engaged. I was invited to the bridal shower but had to decline because I was going to be away on vacation. The payday after my return my gut told me to go to Odd Lot (I miss those stores). No real reason. I had not yet purchased the gift, which I had originally intended to be a set of sheets.

The store had a set of 6 teacups and saucers made of the kind of heavy amber glass normally used for ashtrays. They were from France and must have been acquired through a customs auction. It was the last one in the store.

The price? $2.49. You saw that correctly. I had the same Angel/Devil moment as the lead character in Animal House and the devil won.

I picked up a card, wrapped the set in paper I already had, and brought it over to their place on Saturday afternoon. He was thrilled to pieces and immediately put the set in the $1500 breakfront that his mother had given them.

To this day -- over 20 years later -- he still doesn't know and I am still laughing.

I have learned that the only people whom to reveal the source to in such situations are others who bargain-hunt or just have the Shopping Gene.

Haha - that's awesome, and I applaud your thoughtfulness/thriftiness. I'm of the mind that I don't care where you bought something or how much it cost. I am the queen of bargain hunters, and I relish the thought of getting something pricy for next to nothing, or at a really really steep discount. Which I am really really good at. I don't buy anything without hunting down the best price, vs. do I have to pay shipping and/or pay to send it back if its not suitable, or can return to a store.

I was telling a friend how I called about something I ordered online the other day, and the next it was $40 less, so I asked (per their policy) for a price adjustment. She said she wouldn't have had the spine to do so. I said really? for small amounts, under $5, I don't bother, but for $40, you can bet I'm going to do it.

Sizing of shirts. I bought a tshirt at Hot Topic, and knowing they run small I bought an x-large and then upon getting it home I held it up and it still looks like a junior's medium by most other store's standards. I'm pondering taking it back and seeing if I can exchange it for a bigger shirt.

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Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Oh for crying out loud! It's 2:30 am and there's a pack of wild elephants partying above my apartment! 2 am!By midnight I usually start turning the music down and would clearly try to have people stop dancing and singing out loud.I don't actually hear their voices on day to day basis, but I always hear their phone when it's on buzzer so noise travel weirdly but tonight I'm pretty sure it's high-heel wearing elephants and not my neighbors anymore.I'm already in my PJ and doesn't feel like getting up and asking them to turn in down ><

Sizing of shirts. I bought a tshirt at Hot Topic, and knowing they run small I bought an x-large and then upon getting it home I held it up and it still looks like a junior's medium by most other store's standards. I'm pondering taking it back and seeing if I can exchange it for a bigger shirt.

That's odd...I have never had that experience there even when I worked there. I wonder if it was just a mislabeled shirt. Are you sure you didn't get a youth xl?

Along that line, I have a mother-daughter team in my family who are both obsessed with labels and prices.

When DD1 was born, a friend of mine gave me a whole bunch of cute little dresses in newborn sizes. Like most newborn clothes, they'd been worn maybe once or twice before her baby outgrew them. MIL and FIL came to visit, and I proudly showed them their granddaughter and mentioned that my friend Michelle had passed the dresses on to me. MIL flipped out. "Well, *I* would never have DREAMED of putting MY children in HAND-ME-DOWNS!" Bet you she did, though. She was a junior-enlisted man's wife, too, just as I was. And down in the bottom of some box or other in my attic is the same scratchy wool coat that she made DH wear as a kid, that she insisted I had to take for my son, if and when I ever produced one. Because that wouldn't have been a hand-me-down at all, hm?

« Last Edit: September 21, 2013, 10:58:23 PM by Elfmama »

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~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~It's true. Money can't buy happiness. You have to turn it into books first. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I hate those pads you have to sign in most stores when you use a credit card. Many times nothing shows up when I try to sign with the electronic pen and I just scribble until something shows up on the pad. It doesn't look like my real signature at all.

Along that line, I have a mother-daughter team in my family who are both obsessed with labels and prices.

When DD1 was born, a friend of mine gave me a whole bunch of cute little dresses in newborn sizes. Like most newborn clothes, they'd been worn maybe once or twice before her baby outgrew them. MIL and FIL came to visit, and I proudly showed them their granddaughter and mentioned that my friend Michelle had passed the dresses on to me. MIL flipped out. "Well, *I* would never have DREAMED of putting MY children in HAND-ME-DOWNS!" Bet you she did, though. She was a junior-enlisted man's wife, too, just as I was. And down in the bottom of some box or other in my attic is the same scratchy wool coat that she made DH wear as a kid, that she insisted I had to take for my son, if and when I ever produced one. Because that wouldn't have been a hand-me-down at all, hm?

My college buddy is (or used to be) of the opinion that you get what you pay for and didn't get the concept of sales. When his older daughter was in the cradle his (now ex) wife bought some Laura Ashley nightgowns for her in a thrift shop at $3 each. They could just as well have been brand new because the original owner outgrew them during the second or third wearing. She was showing them to me and another woman and saying "Please don't tell Sean." Real head-scratcher.

When Brunhilde was pregnant the women in her office gifted her with so many virtually new clothes she didn't have to buy Siegmund anything until he was 3. She was hugely grateful.

Along that line, I have a mother-daughter team in my family who are both obsessed with labels and prices.

When DD1 was born, a friend of mine gave me a whole bunch of cute little dresses in newborn sizes. Like most newborn clothes, they'd been worn maybe once or twice before her baby outgrew them. MIL and FIL came to visit, and I proudly showed them their granddaughter and mentioned that my friend Michelle had passed the dresses on to me. MIL flipped out. "Well, *I* would never have DREAMED of putting MY children in HAND-ME-DOWNS!" Bet you she did, though. She was a junior-enlisted man's wife, too, just as I was. And down in the bottom of some box or other in my attic is the same scratchy wool coat that she made DH wear as a kid, that she insisted I had to take for my son, if and when I ever produced one. Because that wouldn't have been a hand-me-down at all, hm?

My college buddy is (or used to be) of the opinion that you get what you pay for and didn't get the concept of sales. When his older daughter was in the cradle his (now ex) wife bought some Laura Ashley nightgowns for her in a thrift shop at $3 each. They could just as well have been brand new because the original owner outgrew them during the second or third wearing. She was showing them to me and another woman and saying "Please don't tell Sean." Real head-scratcher.

When Brunhilde was pregnant the women in her office gifted her with so many virtually new clothes she didn't have to buy Siegmund anything until he was 3. She was hugely grateful.

I don't have kids, but if I did, I can tell you I'd be scoping out the bargain racks in stores, and thrift and consignment shops. Esp for infant wear. they pee, poo and puke, sometimes all together! and outgrow stuff so quickly, it makes no sense at all to me to spend $$$$ on stuff that may get worn once or twice, or ruined in the first wearing!

My former co worker and his gf were having a baby one year almost to the day after my DD was born. They didn't know the gender of the baby yet when I offered them bags of clothes from my DD. My DD had a lot of new stuff when she was born, but I also shop twice a year at a HUGE consignment sale they have in my town (and most of the stuff is brand name and looks barely worn) and my friend has a DD one year older than mine so I have her hand me downs (altho she gives me stuff that should go into the rag bag sometimes). His gf looks at me like a offered them flaming dog poo and said in a haughty tone "My child will NEVER wear hand me downs. Only new clothes will do". I said fine and my sisters co worker gladly took the clothes for her new grand daughter. Well they had a son, but a year later she got pregnant again. They were really struggling (champagne tastes on a kool aid budget) and she came crawling to me. I said "Sorry, found someone to take everything" and she got mad!