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The Hardest Thing About Being a Christian Teen Girl

By: Guest Blogger

“Oh, have you seen this latest movie?”

A teen friend of mine went on to tell me the name of the movie she had watched. I sat there, staring blankly, having no idea what she was talking about. She continued telling me about her favorite movies and bands.

I continued to sit there, nodding my head, acting like I knew what she was talking about.

On the inside, I was searching my memory for any trace of those names.

A few more girls joined and rambled on about different celebrities. Half of the time, I didn’t know who these girls they were talking about, but I so desperately wanted to join the conversation and contribute something.

It seemed as though I was the only one in the group who didn’t watch those movies or know anything about those celebrities.

Then and there I wanted to do a quick internet search to catch-up on all the different bands and latest movies.

I wanted to fit in.

So often, the teen girls around me discuss the latest Hollywood happenings and I do the awkward nod, not knowing who/what they are talking about. This “left out” feeling causes a discontentedness inside of me. It makes me want to instantly drive to the movie theater to watch the newest movie on the block, whether or not it’s good or bad.

In the moment it doesn’t matter to me. I just want to be on the up-and-up and fit in.

The struggle against worldly desires is a huge problem for me as a teen girl.

I’m bombarded every day with music, magazines on the shelf, billboards on the road, movies, etc. I also live in a culture where people make it a priority to keep up with the newest styles, work out, stay trim, have a boyfriend, and get a really good job.

The list goes on and on.

If you’re a teen girl living in any part of the world, you know the struggle I’m talking about.

In our day and age, it’s so hard to stay focused on honoring God rather than joining the popular crowd who don’t honor Him. It’s even harder when most girls (even in the church) around you don’t take their spiritual life seriously. How am I supposed to honor God with my life when it seems as if so few girls care?

It’s a battle I face and I’m sure you are facing it too. It can be really discouraging.

It’s not easy to be a teen girl in today’s culture, but I am slowly learning that the road less traveled is totally worth it.

1 John 2:15-17 has really encouraged me in my teen years. I continually remind myself of this verse when I get discouraged about life. Here it is for you:

“Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.”

I am learning that we need to stand strong against sin.

It may look appetizing at the moment, but even the forbidden fruit looked appetizing to Adam and Eve. Was it worth it in the end? Absolutely not. All sin is appetizing in the moment, but the consequences are not worth it.

Girl, I’m right there with you. I know the struggle you’re in. Worldly temptations are everywhere. It’s in our homes, at the store, and even on our phones. We can’t escape it.

But, there is one thing we can do.

Read our Bibles. We can fill our minds with truth and wisdom, which is oh-so-important. If we don’t know the difference between good and bad, how will we make the right decision?

A great place to start is in the book of Proverbs. Solomon gives lots of advice to young people on how to resist the world and its temptations. You can also read solid Christian books. Check out this Page to see which books Bethany and Kristen recommend.

Another amazing weapon is prayer. Pray for yourself. Pray for the friends you have. Pray for your sisters in Christ who read the GirlDefined blogs. Prayer is a very powerful weapon you can use when fighting the battle against sin.

Also, remember that you’re never alone.

We’re all facing the same worldly temptations and the same struggles. But we also have the same God who is amazing and awesome all of the time. He is the One who will help us in our frustrations and temptations. He is the One who will guide us when the struggles are hard and life gets tough. He cares for you and He cares about your struggles.

He always has an answer for you.

As a fellow teen girl, we need to talk about the struggles we are facing. Let’s encourage and pray for one another. I’d love to hear about the things going on in your life.

What do you struggle with? How do you overcome your struggles? Any tips or advice you can share? Join the discussion by commenting below!

PS: The picture at the top of this post is actually me. That’s an honest picture of how I feel sometimes! Can you relate?!

*This guest post was written by our wonderful 15 year old sister, Rebekah. You can find out more about Rebekah and the entire Baird family at our family blog: Oh Happy Heights

53 Responses to The Hardest Thing About Being a Christian Teen Girl

Hey! 🙂 🙂
Thank you so much for this post!!
In my youth group (comprised of mostly girls), everyone likes to talk about this movie or that music or that drama at school or a plethora of other things that I don’t know much (if anything) about, and I feel awkward and left out because I don’t know as much as they do or am not really interested in it to begin with.
Thanks for this post! 🙂

One Way I try to resist temptation (as well as prayer and Bible reading) is by being careful of the friends with whom I spend the most time with. I understand what you meant Rebekah, about how it gets frustrating when even the girls in churches don’t take their faith seriously.

I love seeing you do a guest post! I can definitely understand where you’re coming from. I don’t listen to secular music, so the only time I know a secular song is if it’s one that’s been really popular and has been playing in all the stores. And with movies, I’m definitely not one that watches the latest movies that EVERYONE else is watching. It’s really hard because you want to be separate from the world, but you don’t want to be an outsider and not be able to relate to the world around you. But compromising on my convictions is definitely not the answer. Jesus was an outsider too! You don’t realize how strong the current is when you going along with it, only when you try going against it.

Thank you for speaking truth. Going with the flow definitely is NOT the answer. I do have a question, though. If this issue is rampant in churches today, is it even worth it to go to youth groups or even church meetings where nobody is really serious about the Lord? I’m beginning to feel that this is happening in my church.

Hey CT! I believe (this is my own opinion) that you should continue going to youth group because you never know how when you stay faithful to God and continue serving him, you never know how that can affect someone else in your youth group and then that person can affect another person and then you have three people who were affected by you and then those people can affect others and their you have it a new youth group that wants to glorify God. So I strongly encourage you to keep going and staying faithful!

First I ditto Joy but I have another reason. Youth group/church is my favorite thing on earth! It’s true that there’s often many people (especially among teens) who don’t or seem like they don’t care about God. But you’re in your church and from what I’ve seen you truly care about God so that means your church/youth group has at least one faithful believer in it. I’m guess there’s more, you just have to keep looking.
Praying for you and your youth group!

Hey CT, great question! Most of us view church as a place where we’ll be strengthened and encouraged as a believer, right? It’s hard when that isn’t happening. Sometimes that can be our own fault and sometimes it can be the churches fault. Sadly, just because a church is called a “church” doesn’t mean it’s solid in its doctrine and worldview. Regardless of the church you’re attending, you should always be on your game and constantly going back to the Bible for what you believe.
As far as youth group goes…we’ll be honest. There are some great youth groups out there…and then there are some really bad ones. We’ve seen them. Not all youth groups are on the same level. If you honestly feel like your youth group is dragging you down as a Christian woman (and you’re unable to influence those around you), we encourage you to prayerfully consider whether you should continue attending or not. There are many opportunities you could pursue outside of youth group as well (host a Bible study, join a women’s Bible study, do service projects with other believers, etc). If you’re able to, I encourage you to talk with your parents or an older wiser woman who knows your situation and get some counsel. Pray hard and ask the tough questions. In the end, don’t be afraid to follow God wherever He leads you. We’re praying for you!! -Kristen

Such an awesome post! Thank you for the encouragement!! One thing I struggle with is with the music I listen to. I listen to a bit of everything. I try not to listen to explicit or anything like that, but I really like listening to country and pop. I know that everything is supposed to be glorifying to God, but does that mean that listening to secular music is bad? What kind of music do you listen to?

Hey Cate you can listen to pop and it still be glorifying to God. Have you ever heard of CCM? Well that is what I listen to and in my own personal opinion it helps me grow closer to God. Their is forms of CCM that pop, like Moriah Peters (she is an amazing christian and she has taught me to save my first kiss till marriage before I have ever heard of her I really didn’t care about saving my first kiss till I got married I just thought that it was what everyone was doing so what is wrong with it but then I went to a concert that she was at and right their and then I made the decision) and another group is for King and Country (they are an Australian group and the lead singer of this group is married to Moriah Peters. for King and country has taught me to continue serving God even when things get hard, Joel Smallbone has gone through a lot of stuff in his life and he just encourages you to stay serving God. They also teach the guys to respect and honor women and they teach the women to not let any guy treat your wrong)

I just though I would share that with you!:) (I also don’t know what the other people that look at this blog listen to so if yall don’t listen to CCM I am not trying to disrespect that)

Hey Cate! Great question. The topic of music is something we’ve wrestled with a lot over the years and so has our little sister, Rebekah. The questions we keep coming back to are these: Do the lyrics of the song glorify God? Does the music itself arouse sensual feelings in me? Is my worldview strengthened as a result of listening to that song? What is my personal motivation for listening to certain music? In the end, we (and Rebekah) have found that the majority secular music doesn’t strengthen our Biblical worldview or draw us closer to Christ. As a result of asking ourselves these questions, we have personally made the choice to avoid most secular music. Instead, we listen to a lot of great Christian music (some of our favorite artists are Jimmy Needham, Casting Crowns, Keith and Kristyn Getty, Unspoken, I Am They). Hope that helps!! 🙂

I totally agree with you, Cate!! This is definitely more of a struggle for me. I think it is even more of a struggle than movies because I can just look up music on my phone and play it for free, while with movies you generally have to pay to watch them. I strive to be with godly girls and make those my good friends, but sometimes they may do things or talk about things that I don’t approve of, and I feel like the outsider and wonder if I should leave or not.

. Kristen and Bethany, when my friends or the people at youth group are talking about things I have no intention of watching/listening to or they want me to do something I’m not comfortable with what should I do?

Hey Taylor! Thanks for asking such a great question. When your friends start talking about something you have no intention of watching/listening to, you can do several things: 1. Strategically change the subject. Plan ahead by coming up with some good “subject changer” questions and memorize them. When those moments happen, just bring up one of those questions. 2. You can strategically walk away. Especially if they’re talking about something inappropriate and you can’t change the subject, it’s probably a good idea to simply leave the group. 3. Ask your friends questions about “why” they enjoy that music or movie…ask strategic questions that will encourage them to think about why they do what they do. Hope that helps! It’s not easy being a Christian teen or woman in today’s culture, so don’t get discouraged when you feel like you’re always swimming upstream. Just keep reminding yourself that following Christ isn’t easy…but He is the answer. Our relationship with Him is the only source that brings us lasting worth and fulfillment in this life. When we get to heaven, He will be the only Person we will be accountable to. So let’s spend our lives living for Him now. 🙂 Keep pursuing truth!!

Yup, just walk away! Even if that may seem rude, it really isn’t and it will give your friends that hint that you don’t want to talk about it. Or just ask politely, “I haven’t watched/read/listened to this movie/book/song and I feel excluded. Could we please talk about something else?” That usually works! This has been really helpful for me. It may not work if they’re unbelievers, though.

I can relate!!Sometimes I listen to a little of even thing too!But I’ve found that unless it’s a soft rock song or a Christian song it’s probably not honoring God.But hey, that best thing to do about that is pray and ask God for guidance!

This is kind of off topic but recently I’ve been struggling most with how to continue being a straight A student but still put God and acting like Him first. This weekend was a little rough because I had this gigantic group project. It was made up of me, a procrastinator, an anti-procrastinator and another girl who isn’t procrastinating but who doesn’t seem to really care either. Oh an a teacher who is constantly suggesting I should drop one of those people but I picked them all for good reasons, two because id successfully worked with them before and the third to reach out to. So yeah it was really hard trying to get people to work or not work and politely tell my teacher we weren’t changing our group! So yeah just trying to be a christian in academics is challenging.

I’m not a teenager anymore, but I am no stranger to these feelings/circumstances. I am always delighted to meet people (girls and boys alike) who shares the same sentiments, and we try to encourage one another. Being a Christian is never easy, but so is what He’s done for us. And whenever I face something difficult, I just remember how much more difficult are the things that Jesus conquered for me. Even death! And there’s where I get the strength to press on and just look at Him in the midst of all the challenges and hardships.

Thank you so much for this post, Rebekah! It is so encouraging to hear that other Godly teens are in this with me! As a 14 year old girl, I struggle with feeling left out a lot, especially because I’m homeschooled, and a slight introvert 😛 It’s hard for me to feel like I fit in, especially with friends at church who go to school, and all know about the latest trends, have instagrams, and honestly, it seems like some of them don’t take following Christ as seriously as I try to…anyway, I can totally relate, and fitting in is a constant struggle for me! Thanks again for your encouraging post- it was a huge blessing to me today! Definitely sharing this with friends 🙂

I feel the same way! I homeschooled, and an introvert, and a lot of my friends are all “in the know” about the latest trends and stuff like that, but I’m just like “What are you talking about? Who? Huh?” Sometimes if one of my friends finds out I haven’t watched the newest movie or song that everyone’s raving about, they’ll either “feel sorry for me” or flip out! It’s a constant struggle…

oh my Kay….i guess were sister 😛 ..im homeschooled and you dont know the struggle. It really IS real. I’ve got this constant pressure that if I didnt know about the latest stuff, I’m missing out….FOMO (fear of missing out)…Let trust God and let him lead our way!

Absolutely I can relate!!Thanks so much for this post!!I often have to check the music I listen to make sure it mets God’s standers, and the shows and movies I watch, even if there old one!!You such an awesome post, thanks so much for something girls like me can really get and relate to.

I agree with Melea! I’m a fourteen year old homeschooled girl who has no instagram and who doesn’t know anything about these popular bands. I feel like I’m along sometimes in my walk with Christ, and this post was very uplifting! Thanks!

Thank you so much for writing about this! I’m a 15 year old homeschooler, and I definitely face the same struggle. A lot of my friends seem to obsess over the newest movie that everyone is watching, or that new band that has a “cute guy,” or even another popular song. I don’t really see how honoring God fits into these situations. And I agree with Sarah, this was very uplifting and encouraging! 🙂

Hey, thank you so much for this post! I’m a homeschooler too and totally am constantly battling against the “to fit in or not to fit in”! So many times I have wide dumb eyes just having no clue at what others are talking about. But thank you so much for that verse! I’m going to put it up.

Great post Rebekah! Right now it may be pop stars and music that you’re not familiar with….but trust me, there are much bigger, and more blatantly evil things in the world that you will be thankful to be “ignorant” about later in life. I get teased at work for not being “in” on the latest and greatest, and not eating in the breakroom with everyone else (who are watching shows on the TV that belong in the gutter)….but fortunately because I’m unapolagetic about it, my coworkers have learned to take my “ignorance” in stride, and most of their teasing is good natured rather than malicious.

Ironically, after reading this post yesterday, I turned on the radio to listen to some music while washing dinner dishes, and before I could find the station I wanted, here’s what came through the speakers:

“I’ve gotta do a little wrong so I know what’s right……How will I know where to draw the line if I don’t cross it a few hundred times?……How am I ever gonna get to be old and wise if I ain’t ever young and crazy?”

Wow!!! The contrast between the message of this blog post and the message proclaimed by the song couldn’t be more opposite! The message of the world is subtle and everywhere, questioning what God has established: “Has God really said?…” Sometimes we don’t realize the strengh of the rip-current until we swim against it.

Thank you so much Rebekah! I’m 15 and home schooled, I don’t have a phone or a boyfriend or have the best clothes and sometimes it’s difficult to feel like anyone else is going through what we’re going through when everyone around us are going the other way! It’s so good to be reminded by a fellow Christian teen to look to God and his word for comfort and assurance! I’m so glad you were brave enough to write this post! It’s helped me so much! And p.s I agree about the picture, in fact I think I’ve made that face a few times myself! So thank you my sister-in-Christ! Let’s pray for each other! -Phoebe x

I see what you’re trying to say but I also think it’s fine to keep up with social media and to have interests outside of the church. I’m a christian teen and keep up to date with social media, I’ll admit that I sometimes spend more time on Pinterest than reading my Bible but that doesn’t mean that I don’t love and do my best to obey God. I think it can actually be unhealthy to spend all of your time reading, praying, or at church. You can become completely obsessed with God and then become the friend that goes around judging others (which is a sin) for not spending all of their time thinking, talking, or reading about God.

i agree completely. i went to a church retreat a few weeks ago and recommitted my life to Christ. ever since then i have been wanting to share the word and help others but i don’t know how to start or where to start. A part of me is kind of scared to share God’s word because i don’t know how my friends would react. but i really want to make a difference i just don’t know how to yet. Thanks for sharing what you believe!!

I really am I glad their are other girls around my age who can real ate to the daily challenges I go through trying to fit in with the world itself knowing that I’m a child of God and that he loves
me and the rest of his children its a great feeling to have someone to share the same feelings that I have in my daily life

I usually know many of the movies people talk about, but music is a big struggle, especially when I love music so much and have my own world of the Christian music industry that I listen to. Whereas everyone else is talking about Fall Out Boy and Ed Sheeran…not exactly the lyrics I want running through my head-all.day.long. Books are a big thing too. I’m allowed to read a lot more than many Christian friends I know, although we have certain age limits on everything (example, I had to wait till 13 to read Percy Jackson so I fully understood it was a work of complete fiction.), movies as well. My friends will tease me and one has gone as far as to tell me that my parents were ‘freakishly controlling’, even though I’m quite comfortable with my limits. Yeah, I felt left out when everyone was talking about popular fandoms I wasn’t old enough for- and at this point still not old enough for some- but I would rather be left out for a little while than read a book early and be freaked out by it or not understand it and ruin a perfectly good story for myself…I’m a teen author, so stories mean *a lot* to me. But even though my parents allow me to read HP and PJ, and all those fandom abbreviations, with my age limits, I find myself given time to *look forward* to the books I am about to read. Not only that, but I find myself discovering other books that people don’t even give a second look to….some of my favourites aren’t even in the main fandom, and some I enjoyed more than I would have enjoyed Percy Jackson (sorry Rick). I discovered one of my favourite authors Christa Kinde that way, and another AWESOME one Donita K Paul….BOTH of those fantastic authors are Christian. With those books in toe, and after reading these ‘oh-so-famed’ books that my friends gushed over, I laugh a little, realizing they missed out on just as much as me.

So much truth here! I always felt so left out and alienated as a teenager; especially in high school. I’ll never forget the moment that changed all of this for me. I was at a youth conference and the speaker stood up, pointed out at the audience, and said “You were never made to fit in. God created you to stand out.”

hey there, as a mom and a person that wasn’t saved until later in life, I applaud your strength and willingness to disciple to your peers!! I hope its ok to share this with my girls ministry group that my daughter and I started called The A.R.K. Project?! I know those girls can relate to this 🙂

ABOUT US

Kristen Clark and Bethany Baird are sisters, lifelong friends, and the founders of GirlDefined Ministries. These Texas gals are passionate about God's beautiful design for womanhood and love sharing this message through blogging, speaking, and mentoring young women. LEARN MORE