That's exactly why I have to take breaks from this forum sometime -- or at least skip over the threads which are focused on weight loss obsession.

Yes, I'd like to be thinner. And yes, I'm technically obese. But when I shift my focus to quality foods, getting stronger and not weighing myself, I'm simply a happier person. The slow weight loss is a pleasant side effect. I had my DH unhide the scale recently just so I could see where I was so there was no shock for an upcoming doc appointment. I had to have him hide it a couple of days ago because I got so obsessive and preoccupied by the numbers. I started setting up goals of getting to X weight by a certain time. It started taking over my life. Screw that. Strive for primal excellence (not perfection), keep learning from others and make adjustments. And live your freaking life!

If living Primally emphasizes chilling out about eating and life in general, why are people so concerned with losing when they seem to be at a perfectly healthy weight?

As a lardarse, losing weight is a prime motivator for me at present. Once I've achieved the look I want and am fit & healthy, then I will eat more to maintain peak health.

The way I see it, I have a long term goal, and that is to be the longest serving police pensioner the world has ever seen. To achieve my goal I need to have all my faculties and health until I peg out. There are ways and means that research is showing to be longevity beneficial. One is calorie restriction on its own, then there's intermittent fasting to achieve calorie restriction, next we have the types of foods that are best for living longer and of course there are others. But, what about mental health? There is evidence to show that people who do things for others are happier and live longer. My last job made me happy and I would almost have done it without pay due to my pension. I believe that happiness must be a link in the chain leading to long life. We must make a conscious decision to be happy. I understand that things can go wrong, but, how we react to circumstances determines how happy we are. If one looks upon every challenge as a bind then unhappiness is sure to be nearby. If we look upon challenges as just something that happens to everybody and make the best of circumstances we are much more likely to remain happy.

I chose to be happy no matter what. Five months ago I also chose to be healthy too. I did not need a doctor to tell me I was a fat b@st@rd, I could see it in the mirror. I looked around for the means to lose weight and feel good. I have found both with what I'll call Primal Light eating and HIT exercise & strength training. I eat foods that I like, including "medicinal" dark chocolate every day, take a glass of wine or a single malt when I want and keep exercise (apart from walking a couple of miles to get shopping nearly every day) down to about 15 minutes a week. I have a great family life and sleep very well. I volunteer to help young people be the best they can be.

In the words of a character in a TV comedy:- "I'm smug."

Coo, that was a bit longer than I intended.

Why use a sledge hammer to crack a nut when a steam roller is even more effective, and, is fun to drive.

Hi! I've been reading the thread for a while, and it seems like there's a lot of people out there so concerned about weight-loss that they're restricting what they're eating to insane levels. It actually kind of reminds me of how people think when they're anorexic, controlling their intake to the point that food isn't enjoyable and getting extremely down on themselves when they aren't seeing results.

If living Primally emphasizes chilling out about eating and life in general, why are people so concerned with losing when they seem to be at a perfectly healthy weight? If your body is fighting you and you're forced to eat like you're anorexic to attain your goals, is it really healthy to expect to look like Mark? Is a lower body fat % always healthy?

Thanks!

Diet forums attract the anorexics. They never stay long. Many of rest of us are metabolically damaged and need to lose weight or we've lost the weight but want to lose a little more because we didn't quite reach our goal.

I think it's LGN rather than weight loss. Weight loss is pointless without fat loss and muscle building. One of the promises of this site that you *can* LGN. So, it attracts folks with that goal. Unfortunately, LGN is a hard, hard, hard goal for many people, even if their weight is fine according to CW. Body re-composition is what requires a lot of tweaking and letting go of the little pleasures. Basically, every day one makes a choice, what makes him or her happier: reflection in the mirror or food (quantity, quality). If mirror is what ultimately makes you happy, you can't eat away your feelings by chilling with bacon.

I think looking good naked is something we are all too harsh on ourselves about. If the reactions I get from men are any indication, a significant number of them believe I'm going to look good naked (if they could just get the opportunity) even though from the perspective of the "media" (even considering this website as the "medial"), I am far from looking good naked.

and YES everyone is basically fat and unhealthy, but they are all choosing it.

^This kind of thinking is precisely the problem.

Look, I don't argue that some people are eating out several times a day. I don't even argue that some people choose to be overweight and unhealthy for convenience's sake. I do believe in the concept of personal responsibility.

However, I don't think sentiments along the line of "fat people deserve it because they are too stupid to do anything about it" will help the situation. You don't know what is going on in the individual's life. Perhaps they have been unemployed for months and have to eat beans and rice three meals a day just to eat. Maybe they have an underlying health condition but can't afford a doctor, or worse, that the doctor they see has loaded them up on so many prescriptions that their weight is spiraling out of control.

And while there are many who are overweight an unhealthy, there are also many who are overweight and healthy and many more who are normal weight or underweight and unhealthy.

Ideally, health should be the goal and a healthy weight should come along for the ride.

In order for me to be healthy, I have to not be obese. According to the BMI calculators, I'm 15 lbs away from being "overweight"... I carry too much weight, like much of society, so my focus is on losing weight - but doing so the HEALTHY way with a paleo diet.

Magnolia and Quelsen
I think people treat to fat people as to people that CHOSE to be that way.
But, for the most part, isn't that true? I'm not talking about people with metabolic syndromes (the minority)
No one ever put a gun to people heads, forcing them to shove another coke or/and another doughnut to their face.
Of course, everyone has their own reasons (emotional or environmental) but we are still living in free countries.

I'm going to say something that may piss people.
Please remind yourself that is my point of view, and I'm a hard-gainer.

I'm not talking about people who has only 5kgs to lose -
When I see huge people, it makes me sick. Sometimes I want to scream at them - "what the fuck are you doing to yourself?"
If a fat person sits next to me and starts eating a bun filled with (no cholesterol!) chocolate and coke, I feel goddamn superior next to him. He's going to die earlier, he has difficulties finding love in his life, he is or he is going to be sick, popping pills and visit doctors. And he's doing all of this to himself.
If my body is my temple, a fat person's body is ruins.
It disgusts me, I have no desire to know someone who treats himself like that

Is it shallow? Hell yea. We live in a shallow world where looks got weight (no pun intended).
Do I treat like this to myself as well? Unfortunately, yes. I'm a perfectionist, obsessive person. Many people are.
I don't hate fat people. It is just impossible for me to look beyond their flaws and try to get to know them.
No one is perfect and I'm sure they are wonderful people.
I know my attitude is wrong but I just can't change my mind about seeing a fat person and not thinking he's given up on himself.

They are actually choosing it, but not as consciously as it would take to actually blame them 100% for their condition. Everything about our society makes choosing what actually makes a person healthy way more difficult. They have to go against their doctors and the whole low-fat message for one thing. And since the industrialization of our food, most people are losing knowledge about food and preparation. Most grocery stores don't even have butchers anymore. They have meat slicers. All the meat is send pre-packaged or in quarters and the "butchers" just slice it into smaller pieces. I've been shopping at a market that has real butchers. They've got whole animals in the freezer. I can buy just about any part of the animal I want. I lack any passed down knowledge of what to do with most of it. I'm having to learn it all anew. That's a hugely difficult choice to have to make, requiring getting over squeamishness, ignorance and random lies, and most people out there just are trying to pay their mortgages, save money for their kid's college educations and otherwise just enjoy their short time on earth. They've got no time or desire to figure out what to do with a kidney. Why bother when the message is this stuff will kill you? Heck, the message is everything will kill you so why not just eat burgers and fries and tune it all out?

Anyway, one thing I've learned from Quelsen's story is that if you see a fat person walking down the street you have no idea if that person has already lost two whole people's worth of weight or how much they've struggled. My own experience has taught me that, too. That's why I have no patience for people like Chacotaco and their "calories are the only things that matter" bullshit. If that's true, I should have been skinny my whole life. I wasted too much of my life NOT eating burgers and fries. I could have been fat and happy instead of fat and miserable.