That's actually three comets currently careening crazily close to the Inner Planets (Hale-Bopp left some time ago). I warned everyone of this quite some time ago, but nobody listened. Thank God that, like Jerry Falwell, I have stored up food and ammunition, 'cause The Rupture's comin', sure as shootin'.

So where the hell is the comet? Oh Cling-on-type-that-can't quite-relate-to-reality-therefore-clinging-on-to-anything-that-will-make-an-impression-or-else-make-you-a-pussy-spiecies-that-just-likes-to-cling-on, Where the hell is the comet?

No "Dykes on Bikes" there Bee-dubya-ell? We know some people who have seen people who ride with them. We've seen Klingons in Hotlanta, too. As well as other trekkie types. It's a strange place. Elton John lives there part of the time, in his boyfriend's penthouse condo (in Buckhead, I heard).

Hot damn, I wasn't empanelled for jury duty! Off the hook 'til Thursday, and if I don't get empanelled Friday, they can't call me agin fer at least two years. (Just as well, too -- it was a nasty, nasty criminal case).

I have returned safely from the wilderness of Atlanta and have disturbing news. The entire city has been taken over by Klingons!

The art show that we were in (The Inman Park Festival) has an alternative parade as part of its festivities. There were numerous organizations represented, like the gardening club which calls itself "The Dirt Digging Dykes of Decatur", "The Heterosexual Whippet Owners' Club" (membership = two), "The Inman Park Precision Attache' Case and Umbrella Drill Team" and "Tattooed Men in Skirts".

Well, there were about fifty Klingons in the parade calling themselves "The Klingon Attack Group" ("KAG" for short). They were obviously trying to pass themselves off as humans pretending to be Klingons, but some of us aren't so easily fooled. We know they were real Klingons and that they will soon be all over the place!

He would of come to your liberry in Idaho, man... but he got attrested first in Blind River. Too bad. I am gonna take Idiot-boy his clothes today. I am carrying them on the end of a long stick. They reek!!! I hope the cops let me in with them. I have hid a beer and 2 joints in his boots so he dont get depressed too much in that jail cell.

The sadness. Throughout Idaho, sorrow. An entire State, over a million people (some of whom are even living in clumps called "cities") are mourning today.

For BDiBR didn't come visit our library, nekkid as a jaybird. Instead, Kampervan cricized the language of the MOABites. Using the linguistic skills acquired in a graduate course in linguistics (where else would you learn this sort of thing?), I treed K's comments so that I could determine what the actual message was -- without success. I next used an old linguistics trick and translated the comments to Antique Middle Dutch, AMD to pre-Viking Icelandic, and the result to contemporary Tagalog. Eureka! the result was one word! That word is "tolong" which when translated from Tagalog to English means "Help."

Thus, Kampervan's post was (and is) a plea for help. Exactly what sort of help is being requested and whether or not this plea comes from Kampervan is still being researched. The problem has been referred to the Idaho National English and Everything Linguistic Laboratory (INEEL), where the resultant word ("Tolong") will be rendered into ASCII and then to hexadecimal and run through INEEL's supercolliding supercomputer for numeric analysis, comparing the hexadecimal results with the same results from octal, binary, and other mathematical bases. The results will be presented here later in tabular format, assuming that the grant money holds out.

Being a shy and unassuming kid from the Great Middlewest, there is no need to nominate me for a Nobel Prize. No, really. Aw, shucks, go ahead then, since you insist.

KampervanYes I do happen to drive one of those. It's a custom 1980, red carpet on the ceiling, fold out styrofoam (sp?) bed, with red curtains that enfold the entire entirety of the van. Aw-ha. I know what them kampervans are all about. Hippy floating, love machines. Ford made, driven hard, get it on and eat some lard.Gas drinkin', make you thinkin'your a rich slobivalian riden' with an alien...vehicle of means.Aw-Ha.

Amos..TWENTY EIGHT HUNNERT! How can you justify beating William Shatner to the TWENTY EIGHT HUNNERT? He must not have know how to spell TWENTY EIGHT HUNNERT.

No, LH, he does not. Your confusion Between real ruling, and delusion Is sad, and makes one shake one's 'ead And hope you find a private bed Wherein to weave imagination Into sad Shatneroid fixation! At least, while you dear madness keep You have a chance to get some sleep!

Start from the top, Kamper, and when you get to the first post that is confusing back up one or two and come forward until you find the bewildering term or referent; then PM the author to get it clarified. Repeat until complete.

Hmmm... unfortunate luck for you I guess Old Bean. We're making it up as we go along. But if you read the thread from the very beginning, oh... maybe two or three times, by the third, or maybe the fifth time, you'll probably understand about 30% of it at least. If you don't bust a blood thingie first.

He wants out on bale. Fat chance! LOL! I got better things to spend 500 bucks on this weekend than bale. He is gettin re-acwainted with cell # 9, and is sharing it with a big Indian from Serpent River who got atressted for bustin heads and raisin hell in Massey. I went to see the loser. (I mean Shane, eh?) (not the iNdian) He wants his clothes back. Well, I am gonna take pity on him tomorrow and take him those clothes but I think there was a skunk in the yard last night cos they smell kinda rank to me.

Thanks for the grin, Dan and Rustic. Glad to hear Shane has upped his comehaveance. I mean come to his haveuppance. No, that should be had up hiscomeance. No...wait....had his come-uppance!! Anyway, to hell with it, but thanks!

Hi people! I just wanted ya all to know that Idiot-Boy, my little brother who calls himslfe Blind Drunk in Blind River has got his sorry ass arrested again. Ha! Ha! It ain't like it hasnt happened before eh? But this was different. Ya know why? Cuz he did not get atrested for break and entering. No and he did not get arrested for drunk and disorderly or disturbin the peace or damagin' property. He did not even get arrested for sellin or havin' dope this time! He did not get arrested for driving half in the bag without no license neither. He did not get arrested for borrowin' other peoples' snowmoblies or their car or truck without askin'. NO Sir! Ya know what he got arrested for? Ya want me to tell you?

NUdity! Public nudity!!! HA HA HA HA HA!!! He is already infemious in this town, but now he will be a FLIPPIN' LEGEND! I kid you not, Jethro. A flipping lenged of stupidity is what he will be.

He tried to get free beers at the Iron Horse by doin' a striptease for the waitresses. You hadda be there! Very funny! They threw him out. Then he went and done the same thing over to the other restaurant and they called the cops. When teh cops arrived he was dancin' around without a stich on in front of two of the local Jehovahs witnesses, and one lady fainted. The other one started throwin' copies of their dumb Watchtower magazines at him and tellin' him to cover himself.

The cops in this town know Shane real good, I am telling you. They love him like a dog loves a bad case of fleas eh?

So anyway, he got took off stark naked in the back of a patrol car. I have put his clothes on a dummy in the garden to be a scarecrow till he gets back. I figger if they fit one dummy they would fit another! Ha! Ha!

My little brother finally got himself arrested for somethin' that nobody else in Blind River has been dumb enought to do lately. Not in a lotta years has their been anyone in town this dumb I dont think.

Me and my buddies are gonna prepare a big party when he gets let out. ROTFLMHAO!!!!

Now he'll be sorry he called me Baldy.

- Don, the Man (Shane's older brother. I am the brains ofthis family and I have a job eh?)

Hey Blind- The library sounds like a good place to start if you want free literary wannabe's. I would not suggest it if you want free beer. Will you just go get naked at a tavern, please the women, and get your drinks for free?

Amos, you keep doing that and no telling where I might get off tonight. I can visualize(sp?) your right sock coming off now....

Bubba will be late getting down to you, BeeDub; hesheit was last seen parading around Salt Lake carrying a poster that read "LDS -- The Other Choiesterol". So I speck as how he won't be down til after yu-all get back from selling in 'Lanna.

What does money have to do with getting drunk Blind? Don't you know that if you do a little strip tease for the women you won't have to buy all night? Get with the program old boy. The century is 21. Now go out and give it a try tonight, I'll wait for you to report the results.

So i guess none of you flippin retreads give a flyin' flip about my problums eh? Well...FLIP YOU!!!

There wasnt' no beer in th house last night eh? It all got drunk. My flippin brother and his bolthole friends done it. I hadda have a drink and ddint have no money. I went to the Iron Horse and they klikcle me out. I found a half drunmk bottle of CC but it had gone skunky. I hadda live through a WHOLE NITE with NO BEER!@

I nearly died eh? Man, I am Soooo not hung over. I can't believe how ugly this town looks today!

Yes, Amos, I am making plans for Bubba Bubba's arival. I have the good fortune of living about a ten-minute drive from the infamous Calloway Swamp in the Blackwater River State Forest. I have obtained a topo of the swamp, a lightweight kayak, a portable GPS unit, a new snakebite kit and a cookbook with lots of recipes for alligator. I am confident of my ability to remain lost until that Hubba Bubba guy catches Bubba Bubba and takes himherit back to wherever hesheit belongs.

THIS is a rather interesting story of a locally famous occurence within said swamp.