Friday, June 13, 2008

Pondering

I'm 30 today. I feel like I should have something profound to say, some contemplative reflections to share, or some goals & new habits to list.

I don't have any of that.

I think 30 is the final nail in the coffin of adulthood. (I don't mean to be maudlin, it's just the phrase that came to me.) First there was getting married, then graduating college, then there was becoming "Dr. Jeni," then there was having a child, and now I'm 30. That's it. I'm a grown-up.

For the most part, I'm okay with that. I'm nowhere near as together as I'd like to be, and as I always imagined I'd be as an adult. But I've noticed that there are very few people who really have it all together. We all have our weak points, be it a messy house, a fighting spirit, a lack of self-control, or an addiction to soap operas.

30 is not how I imagined it. For one thing, I always pictured myself as having at least 2 children by the time I turned 30. For whatever reason, our difficulty conceiving this time around has changed that vision, and I'm struggling to allow God to bless us in His own time.

I also didn't imagine that we'd still be in so much debt - but it's a result of the choices we've made. Spending $120,000 for vet school to then become a SAHM isn't exactly a recipe for financial abundance. But we're making it, we're doing fine, and we have everything we need.

While 30 may be adulthood, it's YOUNG adulthood, and I've got a lot to do, things to work on, a toddler to train, and live to live. I look forward to the future, toward seeing my girlie grow, toward growing closer to James, and toward striving to become the woman God wants me to be.

8 comments:

Happy Birthday! Life for me at 30 isn't the way I had pictured it either. But one thing I do know is I truly believe we all just get better with age. More self-aware, more self-confidence, just all-around better. I thought I would be all bent out of shape about leaving my twenties but it wasn't like that at all...enjoy your day!! 30 and fabulous.

I know that when I turned 30, I was not where I wanted to be in life. But just 2 1/2 months later, I met my Hubby, and 11 months after that, we married. I never expected to be a SAHM either, but I love it.

I'm 31 now, and I have to say, I love it. I had a hard time turning thirty. Heck, I had a hard time turning 20. I've decided 40 is going to be the most celebrated of my birthdays and I am going to be completely fabulous by then. It makes the 30's easier.