Imperfect

Past midnight still lying awake in bed
Thoughts racing through my mind
Flashes of memories I don’t like
Don’t even want to think about
Hurt, anger, regret, a thousand mixed feelings
Every single time
Time slipping away with every click of the clock
One two three till sixty and again it goes
Do you even wonder why, nafsi?
Why does this keep happening?
I pray. I fast. I give charity.
Then what is it that I’m lacking?
I feel a void that no matter how hard I try to fill, it is still empty
Like completely
And you know what, nafsi?
It hurts.
You might think I’ve lost it
Cause we’ve had this conversation
Like a hundred times even before
But until we get this sorted out
I am not gonna stop,
I’m sorry but I care, I care about you nafsi
You didn’t know that, did you?
I may be selfish, a little lazy too, I do sin sometimes
Maybe more times than I can count
I’m nothing but imperfect and I accept that
But you, nafsi? Do you?
I know how it is to step on a thorn
You’d rather be cautious
Imagine walking barefoot on a road full of thorns
What will happen if you don’t avoid them?
You bleed, clean the cut
Wrap a gauze around it and continue walking, right?
Wrong.
You’ve always been warned of the danger involved
The danger that’s still lurking around
The only way to heal the wound is to change your path
Make a fresh start,
Life is like that road,
And it’s distractions and temptations are like those thorns
Nafsi, don’t let yourself bleed
Your precious; and don’t you ever forget that
I won’t let you down, I promise
Every single day is a new opportunity to improve
We have to keep believing
Keep trying, keep striving
And keep seeking the Help of Allah
Repent for past sins and move on
We have to make it to Jannah
Together.