Nobody wanted or asked for an acoustic emo version of the theme to “Family Matters,” yet here it is, ready to transform our hands from creative tools into balled fists of vengeance and destruction. If you must watch this — and really, it’s the kind of terrible that needs to be shared with others — I suggest doing so away from sharp objects. I don’t want any innocent bystanders to get hurt.

If you need to cleanse your palate after that (yes, ears have palates. Look it up), here’s the original. I always appreciate my memories of ABC’s TGIF lineup from the ’90s, because shows like “Family Matters” and “Full House” were the first TV programs I ever hated. Little did I know that hating crappy TV shows would become a job requirement. Hating crappy shows, but not wearing pants. Go figure.

Join The Discussion

I’m willing to bet no one had ‘Tuesday’ in the ‘How long until we find something gayer than rainbow metallic snakeskin shorts’ pool.

09.28.10 at 11:49 am

Enrico Pallazzo

Eddie’s buddy, Waldo, was one hell of an actor though.

09.28.10 at 11:55 am

BOB

Waldo Geraldo Faldo is a god amongst men. I just want to know if Uncle Phil and Carl Winslow are really a gay couple.

09.28.10 at 12:02 pm

Danger Guerrero

Fact: if you run this video through Steve Urkel’s coolness transmogrifier, it becomes an epic corgi video.

09.28.10 at 3:40 pm

PepeSilvia

Anyone else ever notice how the youngest daughter, Judy, just sort of disappeared after a couple of seasons? I always assumed the Winslows kept her chained in the attic and fed her fish heads ala Bart’s conjoined twin Hugo.

10.06.10 at 3:58 pm

Glenn

apparently, the actor who played Judy turned to drugs and porn after she was cut from the show. no joke.