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Chapter 5. Last Place You Look

I SPENT NEARLY THREE WEEKS
wallowing in misery and self-pity. The Voice of Self Doubt and I spent
long hours together replaying the auditions for Win Ben
Stein’s Money, but even with 20/20 hindsight, I couldn’t find
a single thing that I would have done differently.

“You know what the worst thing about being an actor is?” I
rhetorically asked my wife. “The not working. You know what the second
worst thing is? Knowing that my entire career—hell, my entire life—can
turn around with just one phone call.”

I’m not making this up, but at that moment, the phone rang.

Okay, maybe I am making it up, but it certainly makes for good
drama, doesn’t it?

It was my manager.

“I just got a call from TNN,” he said. “They want to check your
availability to play on an all-Star Trek edition of
Weakest Link.”

Weakest Link was a trivia game show hosted by
a woman named Anne Robinson, who had a reputation for being very nasty
to the contestants.

“Really?! When?” I said.

“Tomorrow afternoon,” he said. “They’re paying 10 grand to you,
and giving 10 grand to the charity of your choice.”

“Are you sure you want to do this? You’ll just be
resting on your Star Trek laurels,” The
Voice of Self Doubt said.

“Are you kidding me? They’re going to pay me 10 thousand
dollars. That’s more than I’ve made all year, and we really need the
money.” I said.

“Not only that, but you can show millions of people—in
prime time—that you’re smart, funny, and not a kid anymore,”
Prove To Everyone added. “If there ...

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