On the dating scene

With this year’s snowy winter behind us, it’s time for some fun. So let’s look at two guy/gal topics that come up fairly often. Most females have thoughts about these issues based on: (a) personal experience or (b) opinions formed by observing a friend/acquaintance or even reading about a famous person whose relationships are reported in the media.

Here are the two questions we’re going to explore:

QUESTION ONE: Would you consider dating (or even marrying) a man who is shorter than you?

This came up once when I told my 6’ 3” husband that, when I was dating, I never seriously looked at a male under six feet (I am 5’ 6”). His response was a surprise. He said that one cannot help what height they are and that this is an unfair judgment of a person. I replied that I couldn’t help it -- this was my personal preference.

I am not alone in this it seems. Both sexes prefer relationships where the woman is shorter than the man. In fact in a recent study, 89% of the women said the shortest person they dated would still have to be taller than them. Why? It’s said that most females want to feel protected and having a taller partner does this.

The Big Exceptions: However, if a man is successful and wealthy, this idea doesn’t apply. For example, Mick Jagger, the rock star, is 5’ 9” tall and not only dates -- but marries women 6 ft. and over. Did we mention that he’s worth $360 million? The same applies to the movie star, Tom Cruise, who is 5’ 7” and is usually seen with taller women. And Ralph Lauren, the billionaire, who I passed on the Upper East Side of Manhattan recently is 5’ 6”. But who cares? (His lovely wife, Ricky is 5’ 4” and they look great together.)

Mick Jagger and Jerry HallRalph and Ricky Lauren

QUESTION TWO: Would you consider dating (or even marrying) a man who is five or 10 years younger than you?

Let’s start by discussing what “a cougar” is. The accepted definition is a woman 40 years of age or older who dates younger men. The minimum age difference is usually 10 years.

The general thought here is that a man five years younger is okay – but 10 years is really stretching it. How about 20 years? “One feels like his mother,” says a lady who knows.

If a woman feels stigmatized by the relationship – it’s likely to be headed in the wrong direction. The older man/younger woman (December-May) is always going to be looked at in a different light than the younger man/older woman (May-December).

The Big Exceptions: Again success and wealth make a difference. Jennifer Lopez, the 45-year-old singer/actress says that “she’s no cougar” and makes no apologies for dating 27-year-old Ryan Guzman. And American-born fashion designer, Vicky Tiel, who lives in Paris married a man 15 years younger. They have been together 25 years. So there you have it.

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