Yay! Another exciting new way for women to be commodified! Having a hot wife is the key to landing a great job, at least according to some shitty dude. Vanderbilt's head football coach James Franklin revealed on a radio show last week that he would never hire a man who didn't have a hot wife:

I've been saying it for a long time, I will not hire an assistant until I see his wife. If she looks the part and she's a D1 recruit, then you got a chance to get hired. That's part of the deal. There's a very strong correlation between having the confidence, going up and talking to a women, and being quick on your feet and having some personality and confidence and being articulate and confident, than it is walking into a high school and recruiting a kid and selling him.

Business Insider dissected it a bit, adding, "Does this apply to more than football? Probably."

Um, duh. It's not surprising to see antiquated gender bias within a completely gendered profession (American football), but I'd go so far as to say that I bet the hot-wife clause applies, to a certain extent, in all boys'-club professions. It's certainly not a groundbreaking revelation—"hot wife" is meant to telegraph "big dick," and big dicks are all the rage among dick-obsessed dick-havers.

Seeing as the percentage of female job candidates in possession of either dicks or hot wives is relatively low, I guess us women will just have to sit out this whole job thing for now. Oh well, at least we'll have more time to work on being hot!

But you know what I think every time I see some dumb shit like this—anything that reduces women to bedazzled sex-mannequins whose only purpose is to enhance their man's social status? Do you know who's really hurt by these attitudes? Dudes. No woman is missing out on some amazing relationship here—because there's no super great guy who actually believes this shit. It's the men who buy into it who are drastically limiting their chances at happiness, confining their romantic possibilities to this teeny, unlikely slice of humanity, where people's genetic structure happens to dovetail with our current social norms. Boooooring. People are way more fun to hang out with when you actually let them be people. This shit just makes everyone's lives worse. How about some allyship, bros?