NHS being sold on Ebay is not a 'sick' joke

In a last gasp bid to fund the NHS, the nations most loved institution is to be auctioned off to the highest bidder on Ebay. It is hoped that the reserve price of £12.5 million will cover the cost of administration.

The move comes as Prime Minister David Cameron admits that after selling patients information to private health care companies, the Government has run out of ways to fund the NHS. 'We have done everything imaginable to secure funds for the National Health Service, we have even taken kidneys from the dead and sold them to Ginsters.' He told a press conference. 'Despite that, we still have a shortfall in funding. This would be a great opportunity for anyone interested in business, health care or screwing up something big without having to become a politician.'

There has been some interest from early bidders, including Richard Branson, who has been seen at his computer waiting to bid in the last 10 seconds. 'If successful a major re-branding exercise will take place' a source close to Branson told us. 'Virgin A&E, Virgin Outpatients, and Virgin Surgery are just some of the changes to be expected, with the maternity wards being the first to change to 'Virgin, My Arse''.