Posts: 26 to 50 of 389

Re: Chuck Norris vs Mr.T

1. Light-sabers bounce off of Mr. T's gold.2. If you drop toast within a five mile radius of Mr. T, it will always land butter side up.3. Mr. T killed the show "Law and Order" for using the names of his left and right fists.4. When Mr. T does push-ups, he does not push himself up, he pushes the Earth down.5. Mr. T invented pity because even fools deserve a daily dose of vitamin T.6. The grass is always greener on the other side. Unless Mr. T was on the other side, in which case it is usually blood red.7. Mr. T has the heart of a small child. He keeps it in a box next to his bed.8. Mr. T doesn't wear a watch, he decides what time it is.

Re: Chuck Norris vs Mr.T

Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain. There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist. Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill. The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls. Chuck Norris is my Homeboy. Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING

Re: Chuck Norris vs Mr.T

Most are from memory.

Mr. T can watch 60 Minutes in 22 minutes.When Mr. T plays a video-game, it is automaticlly in God-mode.Mr. T once pitied the sun. An Ice-Age followed.Mr. T once went into McDonalds. What followed was the most violent clown-beating in history.When Mr. T crosses his arms, the U.S. terror level is raised to gold.Mr. T's blood type is TNT.Getting murdered by Mr. T counts as a natural cause of death.Mr. T once won a tennis match against a wall. A freakin' wall!Mr. T can watch every episode of the Simpsons in two hours.Mr. T scared the black out of Micheal Jackson.

Re: Chuck Norris vs Mr.T

Chuck Norris doesn't kill two birds with one stone. Chuck Norris kills all birds, with two stones. The ones in his pants.Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the making of the episode.The air around Chuck Norris is always a balmy 78 degrees.When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.According to the Bible, God created the universe in six days. Before that, Chuck Norris created God by snapping his fingers.Chuck Norris doesn't believe in ravioli. He stuffs a live turtle with beef and smothers it in pig's blood.Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you...Fourty seven times.The 1972 Miami Dolphins lost one game, it was an exhibition game vs. Chuck Norris and three seven year old girls. Chuck Norris won with a roundhouse-kick to the face in overtime.Chuck Norris is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always.Mr. T pities the fool. Chuck Norris rips the fool's head off.Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.