Those with borderline personality disorder (BPD) suffer from a pervasive fear of abandonment and are often triggered into feeling put down or mistreated. They defend against feelings of abandonment, with rage and anger, and become misunderstood when they’re longing for love. In the heat of the moment, they can send the angry text. They can look like a toddler that gets angry, when they protest as a bid for love. It is important to look at what is behind the actual behavior of a borderline person, rather than react. Most of their behavior is a way to communicate how they feel, but it come...

Am I manipulative? If you ask yourself this question, it’s time to do some soul searching if you have any of these 11 behaviors. Am I manipulative? Admit it or not, at one point we used some mental trick to make another person do something we want. We probably did it for fun at first, but once you feel all clever and powerful from doing it, you’ll start the downward spiral to addiction and start manipulating the people around you. That is, until they find out and then start hating you. Am I manipulative? As you can see, nobody wants to be manipulated and no one wants a manipulative perso...

Sex has a way of getting deep into our minds and hearts. We recall sexual things more easily and more vividly than most other memories. This means our sexual past has more power to mess us up than many other things from our past. One of the big ways our sexual past affects us is that it created our sexual preferences. The things that first aroused and pleasured us tend to stick with us. For example, I grew up in the era of tube tops*, and my first contact with a girl’s breasts was after she had pulled her tube top down for me. So for me, tube tops are inherently sexy. If Lori walked in ...

It’s a known fact that conflict will happen in marriage. You and your spouse are going to disagree, argue, and perhaps even fight. But did you know there’s a way to possibly curb the severity of these disagreements? You’ve heard the old adage “don’t go to bed angry” but it may also be important to eat a snack before going to bed, especially if you’re planning to discuss any tense subjects on the way. One issue with tackling tough issues in married life towards the end of the day is self-control is a finite resource. If you or your spouse have spent you...

The seven-year itch has become something of a joke, but it is no laughing matter. Statistics show that it is a real thing. So, how do you override it? There is an old phrase called the seven-year itch. It is the magical number that allocates the number of years two people are married before the spark goes out and people are tempted to squelch their temptation with someone other than their significant other. The phrase has been around as long as time. Although it was originally used to describe things irritating like skin rashes, scabies, and STDs, in 1955 good ol’ Marilyn Monroe made the phras...

It’s time for another Sex Chat for Christian Wives podcast episode. This one is the first time my schedule allowed me to participate in answering listener questions. Here’s what we tackled this time around: Does anyone really have sex like they do in the movies? Is role play okay in a Christian marriage, even if it involves imagining something that would be wrong to do in real life? How can an older couple maintain sexual intimacy? Is it sexual when my husband says he enjoys looking at other women’s feet? Interesting stuff, right? This podcast has become one of my favorite activi...

We know that communication is key in a relationship. After all, we aren’t mind readers. If we don’t talk about important topics, we don’t know where we stand. We don’t know where we’re headed. We don’t know what’s inside our partner’s heart. Having meaningful conversations deepens our relationship — and keeps it healthy. By the time most couples arrive at Rebecca Wong’s office, they’ve stopped talking. They don’t share their thoughts or feelings. They don’t feel safe and comfortable doing so. They’ve already constructed tall walls. But it doesn’t have to be this way. Below Wong and...

Wise Readers, This Saturday, August 26th, at 2:00 p.m., I’ll be teaching a free interactive seminar at the downtown branch of the Eugene Public Library (Eugene, Oregon) about finding love online. Have you ever wanted to write the perfect online profile? Select the best dating sites and apps for yourself? Learn more about who’s online, and whether relationships created via the Interwebs are better or worse? Deal with whether and whom to reach out to, and how much time to spend? Bring your questions and some paper and pens. See you there!
Article from: Love...

If you are feeling smothered, then speak up. If you don’t get some space, you are going to get to the point where there is no going back. When you are in love, those first few weeks are, well, spectacular. You can’t get enough of each other. You giggle at every little ping of your phone telling you your sweetie says “Hi.” You might even give them their own ring tone. But, what happens when you start feeling smothered? Does that mean the romance is over? Every relationship goes through a natural course of stages. Lust is first, where you can’t get enough of them. The second, a cooli...

The following is an excerpt from Naked Marriage I believe a majority of married couples have a false notion of what marriage truly is, and those rose-colored assumptions tend to heighten expectations to such unrealistic levels that these couples often find themselves in predicament’s like Amy and Daniel’s. Because they don’t understand what marriage is and could be, they hide from each other. To keep the peace, they continue the charades, each spouse reluctantly believing, “I guess this is just how it’s supposed to be.” Consequently, they refuse to get naked with each other in all of th...

You’re dating a girl and want to take it to the next level, but do you feel like she’s pulling away? Here’s why women pull away in the first place. This always happens, even to the best of us. We’re hanging out with someone, we start to develop feelings, and just when you think everything’s going great, boom. It ends. Don’t worry, you’re not the only one wondering why women pull away. Sadly, this happens to most of us, even me. I went to Australia for a guy, and he pulled away while I was there, so don’t think it’s so cheery on our side either. So, if you’re dealing with this right now, ...

Writers often distinguish narcissists and codependents as opposites, but surprisingly, though their outward behavior may differ, they share many psychological traits. In fact, narcissists exhibit core codependent symptoms of shame, denial, control, dependency (unconscious), and dysfunctional communication and boundaries, all leading to intimacy problems. One study showed a significant correlation between narcissism and codependency. Although most narcissists can be classified as codependent, but the reverse isn’t true — most codependents aren’t narcissists. They don’t exhibit common trai...

Knowing if you and your partner need relationship therapy can be tricky. These 25 signs help you decide if it’s time to seek professional help. Admitting that your relationship might be on the rocks is not easy. However, recognizing what it is and wanting to fight for it is the only way to save it. Relationship therapy can provide a lot of help in a struggling relationship. If you ignore your relationship problems and bury them, the likelihood is you’ll only make things worse, argue more, and become more miserable. When you do try to finally sort it out, it will be too late and feel like the o...

Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Nancy DeVault of DateNightGuide.com. Life is full of responsibilities ─ work, kids, etc. ─ which can distract couples from making each other a priority. Consequently, spouses who don’t spend quality time together risk losing their connection and/or feeling less satisfied in their marriage. Committing to a routine date night can be a small change with big relationship benefits! In fact, the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia recently published the Date Night Opportunity study, which found that regular date nights achieved high...

People who are married or who’ve been together a long time think they know each other pretty well. You can finish each other’s sentences. You know what they order on a burger, or if California rolls are their favorite. Someone wants to throw them a surprise birthday party? You agree, knowing he’d be as excited as a toddler, or you quickly squash the idea, since you know she hates being the center of attention and doubly hates surprises. A lot of the time you’re right. Your predictions are accurate. However, it’s nice to occasionally get a good laugh, as you deligh...

Wise Readers: Science proves that kindness is learnable; current events show that it’s so needed now. You’ve often heard me say that without being and finding a partner who is kind and respectful—not just when things are going their way, but as a habit—love won’t last. Fortunately, there are solid, science-supported resources for becoming more kind. Doug Carnine’s two one-minute long videos about his books will remind you of the value of kindness. The first video, about his inspirational book Saint Badass: Personal Transcendence in Tucker M...

Forty years ago it was expected that a chemistry major would work in an industrial firm after graduating or, if he was pre-med, go on to medical school. Most graduates in the humanities and social sciences became high school teachers or went on to do PhDs. Your major in college used to matter. In the time just after WWII, what you chose to study as an undergrad determined your professional path. Things started to change in the 80s, and the trend has continued well into the present. Today former French lit majors run tech companies and electric...

Have you ever been with a guy who makes up feel down and down feel up? Some manipulative men have an uncanny ability to make you question everything. Manipulative men are abundant. I am not saying women can’t be manipulative, but we get a worse rap when it comes to our ability to lead men on, be cunning, and controlling. The truth is both sexes have the ability to manipulate their partners. Manipulative men leave you questioning just about everything about yourself. They have a way to do things and make it your fault. In fact, just about everything is your fault. Don’t fall for it! There is a ...

The hit crime drama Power features one of the most enigmatic characters in all the programs that have appeared in the genre over the last ten years. The main protagonist is James “Ghost” St. Patrick played by Omari Hardwick. From the very first scene of the first episode you know he is a man of style, elegance, lucidity, sophistication, intelligence, perception, and considerable self-control. But little time is wasted in presenting the plain facts of his career and occupation: he is the most powerful drug dealer in New York City, and he just ...