Modern Poetry for Modern Times

If I were a toothbrush,
I’d know my way
around your tongue.
I’d have knowledge
of how to avoid its deceit
and all your trash-
talking ways. I’d know
the ups and downs
of your teeth, how
their vulgar bite
involves your own
misdeeds. I’d seethe
and find reasons
for your obscenities with girls.
I’d remember how
to get my bristles up.
I wouldn’t hide in the drawer
or idle around the sink.
If I were a toothbrush, I’d leap
off the counter and clean
your bleeping teeth.