I do miss her, and I do love her, but I know I can't / shouldn't go back to her. It is for the best, it just really hurts, you know? We don't really get along anymore and we both have our own lives.

Logically I know I am doing the right thing.

What nourishes you also destroys you. Unfortunately that's how it is.I wouldn't want you to be unhappy but i don't want you to sleep with a lot of girls to compensate the missing love of another girl. It's only a temporary fix.

Remember that i'm going to die is the best way I know to avoid trap of thinking you have something to lose, you're already naked, there's no reason not to follow your heart.

[/QUOTE]

Originally Posted by The Black Wolf

Oh my! Silver, you're cute! You're like the young version of Leonardo DiCaprio!

Have been going steady for months now with this chick and tonight I was around her house watching movies and $#@!. Well, all of a sudden her dad jumps through the doors and starts yelling something about him backing into my scooter (yes I drive a scooter srs). It was dark and my scooter was at his parking spot. Didn't even know anyone else was coming that night. I've never met the dude in my life and he all of a sudden starts yelling and asking my name and stuff, and I'm pretty $#@!ing frightened cause his dad is HUGE and he was pretty mad. The girl tries to calm down his dad and he kinda smacks her on the arm to be quiet and at this point I almost start raging, but control myself and try to calmly speak to him.

Well we go out and we check to see if everything ok. It all looks fine and we go in. I ask the girl if she wants me to stay. She's pretty shook and says she doesn't know. Well I decided to check if she's alright and stayed for a while, we talked and I left a few hours later.

Well, now comes the good part: my $#@!ing scooter doesn't work. Holy $#@! am I mad, but I decided not to bother them and I just parked it next to a parking lot and I had to walk 8km in freezing cold weather.

$#@! I'm so pissed right now, I must've lost so much respect from her when she saw me scared $#@!less when his dad rages at me 'cause hes a blind $#@!. Also that, AND MY $#@!ING SCOOTER IS BROKEN!!! And it's parked on the other side of town! Fuuuuuuuu

Have been going steady for months now with this chick and tonight I was around her house watching movies and $#@!. Well, all of a sudden her dad jumps through the doors and starts yelling something about him backing into my scooter (yes I drive a scooter srs). It was dark and my scooter was at his parking spot. Didn't even know anyone else was coming that night. I've never met the dude in my life and he all of a sudden starts yelling and asking my name and stuff, and I'm pretty $#@!ing frightened cause his dad is HUGE and he was pretty mad. The girl tries to calm down his dad and he kinda smacks her on the arm to be quiet and at this point I almost start raging, but control myself and try to calmly speak to him.

Well we go out and we check to see if everything ok. It all looks fine and we go in. I ask the girl if she wants me to stay. She's pretty shook and says she doesn't know. Well I decided to check if she's alright and stayed for a while, we talked and I left a few hours later.

Well, now comes the good part: my $#@!ing scooter doesn't work. Holy $#@! am I mad, but I decided not to bother them and I just parked it next to a parking lot and I had to walk 8km in freezing cold weather.

$#@! I'm so pissed right now, I must've lost so much respect from her when she saw me scared $#@!less when his dad rages at me 'cause hes a blind $#@!. Also that, AND MY $#@!ING SCOOTER IS BROKEN!!! And it's parked on the other side of town! Fuuuuuuuu

That's a story mate! I'd make his ass pay to fix it. I'm sure he has insurance. I would love for my GF's dad to yell and pop off at the mouth with me lol I've already confronted him on things.

I wouldn't worry about what she thinks I'm sure she more embarrassed if anything for her dad acting like that

I won't be going back, that would be going backwards and not forwards! One of the new girls wants me to meet them tomorrow and essentially keep having sex with them, however if I do I do NOT want to be put into another relationship, so how do I proceed? Do I try and get laid and try and keep it casual? Do I do just call it off and avoid her?

I feel really quite bad about having sex so quickly after breaking up with the ex though. I thought sex would help me.

I won't be going back, that would be going backwards and not forwards! One of the new girls wants me to meet them tomorrow and essentially keep having sex with them, however if I do I do NOT want to be put into another relationship, so how do I proceed? Do I try and get laid and try and keep it casual? Do I do just call it off and avoid her?

I feel really quite bad about having sex so quickly after breaking up with the ex though. I thought sex would help me.

If I was in your situation I'd probably call it off since the sex isn't helping. Maybe it's best to focus on something else for a while. I've no experience with stuff like this so ignore me if you want.

I won't be going back, that would be going backwards and not forwards! One of the new girls wants me to meet them tomorrow and essentially keep having sex with them, however if I do I do NOT want to be put into another relationship, so how do I proceed? Do I try and get laid and try and keep it casual? Do I do just call it off and avoid her?

I feel really quite bad about having sex so quickly after breaking up with the ex though. I thought sex would help me.

I won't be going back, that would be going backwards and not forwards! One of the new girls wants me to meet them tomorrow and essentially keep having sex with them, however if I do I do NOT want to be put into another relationship, so how do I proceed? Do I try and get laid and try and keep it casual? Do I do just call it off and avoid her?

I feel really quite bad about having sex so quickly after breaking up with the ex though. I thought sex would help me.

Well, sex does make you feel better for a lil bit. It's kinda drinking, it helps you until it wears off. Then your back to normal,however, you need to have sex with women or at least try to get up with one and get to know her. You said it yourself" you need to move forwards not backwards" so i would say do it. You can keep it casual sex if you would like until your ready.

Remember that i'm going to die is the best way I know to avoid trap of thinking you have something to lose, you're already naked, there's no reason not to follow your heart.

[/QUOTE]

Originally Posted by The Black Wolf

Oh my! Silver, you're cute! You're like the young version of Leonardo DiCaprio!

Well, sex does make you feel better for a lil bit. It's kinda drinking, it helps you until it wears off. Then your back to normal,however, you need to have sex with women or at least try to get up with one and get to know her. You said it yourself" you need to move forwards not backwards" so i would say do it. You can keep it casual sex if you would like until your ready.

Thanks for the advice guys, will keep having sex with random new girl and see what happens.

My relationship ended last night after being together for 21 months. In the grand scheme of things, it's certainly not too long of a time, however when you wake up the next morning alone, you already feel like a millennium has passed.
If I can offer some advice to anyone who wishes to read it, its a warning of a very calm sounding word. Complacency. It is so easy to get into a routine where you think you are safe, and that everything is going along fine. It is certainly not the case. Going through the motions is not healthy, things need to be kept fresh, things need to be said.
If you have a partner in your life who, deep down you know you truly love, always show it. When you come home from work, don't give them a quick kiss on the lips or cheek, hold them like its going to be your last moment on earth and make them realise what you feel. Don't let them assume anything about you, always make then KNOW how you feel.
Don't be self conscious about HOW you express it, don't worry if you think its going to make you sound like a wuss, or be worried that how your feelings translates into words will sound silly. Saying such things is worth it, 110%, they will always make sense of it and understand, and more importantly appreciate it, and realise that the relationship they are in, is worth it.
Buying gifts and going out is great, but I think when it comes to relationships, words are greater than actions. If you have someone special in your life, let them know it, always. Never let them feel any bit of doubt.
There were a few times in the relationship that I wanted to walk away, because it seemed to be the easy option. We live in a society where everyone throws things away and get new ones, including people.
A few weeks ago we had a talk about where we were heading and decided to end it mutually, however I went back and said it was a relationship that we needed to fight for, to re ignite that spark, to not throw it away. We booked a holiday, to leave this month on the 27th to go to Thailand for 8 nights. I thought everything was going to be ok from now on, however that changed yesterday when she said she just doesn't feel the same anymore.
No one is perfect, one of my worst qualities is to snap at people when I'm in a bad mood, and my mood can change fairly quickly when the wrong thing has been said to me, even if the thing that was said was unintentional, it's like a light switch that I don't even realise has been switched. Im not a violent person, I have never hit anyone, have never been in a fight, but I don't know why I change so quickly over the littlest of things.
Do NOT let little things get in the way of your life, they are NOT worth it, it's hard, but you need to step back and look at the big picture and realise that they are not important.
Always talk, always communicate about how you're feeling, it's the most important thing in a relationship! Don't coast through it thinking everything will be fine! It won't be unless you make the effort!
We both had little things that annoyed each other, but we never mentioned it to each other, to try and keep the peace, we never fought once in the period where we were together. I think fighting sometimes will help clear the air, instead of bottling things inside.
Neither of us were perfect, and no one is, I don't think any relationship is 100% perfect, and if YOU think it is, thats fantastic, I am extremely jealous.
Unless you keep the communication channels open all the time, you will only realise what you should have been doing, when it's too late.
If you have that someone special sitting next to you, or who will be coming over tonight, or home after work, make them feel like they are the only person who matters as soon as they get through the door.
I felt that this person was the centre of my universe, the person who made my day at work that much better that I was excited to get home. But I always assumed that she knew, and now it's too late.

If anyone is interested...

I ended up going to Thailand alone, and she went to Cambodia with one of her girlfriends. We had been speaking before we both went on our holiday, trying to work things out, and continued texting while we were both overseas. My phone all of a sudden refused to send messages to her or hers wouldn't receive them, but I was still getting hers. She was worried that something had happened or what not, when my phone finally did start working properly, she said she still had feelings for me and thats why she got so worried.
About a week after getting back, we were still texting and talking and finally met up again, and it was great. She left to Cambodia on her birthday, I had organised a rose to be delivered to her door with a little message on it, she loved it, and I got her a pink stuffed elephant from one of the theme parks in Thailand which she loved too.
So after a break for a few weeks, we got back together. We continued on and reached our 2 year anniversary, I took her to a mineral hot springs resort for the day which she loved.

Now, a bit of a backstory as to why I'm a $#@!ing idiot. For some reason my brain is programmed for me to want to do everything on my own, I worry and $#@!ing analyse every god damn little thing and want everything to be perfect. I cant take a $#@!ing chance. The place that she is renting, her lease is expiring soon, and the natural thing to do after being together for so long would be for her to move in. And I couldn't say yes. We trialled it for a few weeks and there were no problems whatsoever. However every SINGLE day, I would be thinking about it and would be up and down over it. One moment I would be thinking that it will be fantastic. A few minutes later I was thinking, oh no, bad idea. I kept thinking, what if we break up? Where will she live? I cant kick her out. What if were together for a while, break up, and she wants to take half of my stuff? (Which she is legally entitled to do in Australia after living here for 6 months, and an issue she brought up and said she would never do that to me if it ever happened) What if I never get the feeling that I want to get married or have kids? A lot of my friends are doing this, and I didn't know if it just wasn't the right time for me or that I simply didn't want either.
She had mentioned that she might want kids later on down the track, she didn't know for certain, she did want to get married one day, although, no time soon she stressed. And I kept thinking to myself, I'm not feeling it now, will I ever? Should I say yes to moving in, continue along for however long and then let her down when my feelings about issues like marriage and kids come up? She would always say that you need to take chances in life and see where it takes you. My brain just doesn't work that way, I need to know that everything will work out the way it should, and I $#@!ing hate it. I'm 27 years old and have missed out on so much in life because of it already.

I was scared of sharing my house because I'm a stupid $#@!ing $#@!.

We broke up last night, I told her I couldn't guarantee I could give her what she wants or deserves to make her happy. Because I was still having negative thoughts about future possibilities. I went with my gut instinct last night. And I $#@!ing hate myself fot it, I cant even look at myself in the mirror.
We trialled living together for a bit, and there were no issues. It was great to come home to her, but my worrying of the future and worrying if I could give her what she wants and deserves threw me off.
I dont know if it was because I was scared, or what. Sometimes I felt that I loved her, but wasn't in love with her, other times I knew I was in love with her. There was nothing that she wouldn't do for me, she was always so thoughtful.

Last night as she was packing her things I kept thinking to just say, "$#@! it, move in!" but kept thinking that would be selfish on my behalf. That it would potentially be a quick fix, but I would still be worrying. It would make her happy for now, but would I be able to keep her happy always? I couldn't even answer that to myself. And that in itself is probably the answer.

Last year she bought a puppy, and we raised it together. I love that dog so $#@!ing much and I wont be able to play with it or take it for a walk again. It always loves you unconditionally. Has such a wonderful personality, always getting into mischief. When I got home from work it would always sprint from the laundry to the front door to greet me. We were a little family, and I chose to break it off because of my own insecurities and doubts.

And now after its over, everything that I was worried about seems like it would have been a great idea. What the $#@! is with that? How can the mind possibly work that way? Telling you that something is a bad idea when you have it, and then telling you how great it was after the fact? What the $#@!? Why the $#@! when you have something good, you think you can get something better? What do I need to do? I kept telling myself you have an awesome girl who loves you, but I still thought, oh no, things will go wrong. $#@!s sake! Its as if I want to be a miserable $#@! my whole life. I picture happiness in the future for a second, then I get back to my normal ways of not wanting to take a $#@!ing chance and I $#@!ing hate myself.

We said we will try to still be friends, and I'm praying that it works because I feel I need her in my life still. She said I can visit the dog too which I'm thankful for. I just dont know why I have expectations of everything to be perfect from the get go, I know what my problems are but I have no idea what I need to do to fix them.

I keep telling myself that in the long run, because I couldn't guarantee I could always make her happy that it was the right decision to make, and that it was for her, because of how much of a stupid $#@!ing $#@! I am. I look back at the little things that annoyed me and I keep wondering how little things manage to get to me, and why I expect perfection all the time when I am far from perfect myself. I need to change, but I have no idea what I need to do, and if I ever will be able to.

I want to be able to go back to last night, and go to the exact moment where everything was still fine, to where I started to say no to moving in, and just say yes and see what happens. I don't know why I cant take chances.

I ended up going to Thailand alone, and she went to Cambodia with one of her girlfriends. We had been speaking before we both went on our holiday, trying to work things out, and continued texting while we were both overseas. My phone all of a sudden refused to send messages to her or hers wouldn't receive them, but I was still getting hers. She was worried that something had happened or what not, when my phone finally did start working properly, she said she still had feelings for me and thats why she got so worried.
About a week after getting back, we were still texting and talking and finally met up again, and it was great. She left to Cambodia on her birthday, I had organised a rose to be delivered to her door with a little message on it, she loved it, and I got her a pink stuffed elephant from one of the theme parks in Thailand which she loved too.
So after a break for a few weeks, we got back together. We continued on and reached our 2 year anniversary, I took her to a mineral hot springs resort for the day which she loved.

Now, a bit of a backstory as to why I'm a $#@!ing idiot. For some reason my brain is programmed for me to want to do everything on my own, I worry and $#@!ing analyse every god damn little thing and want everything to be perfect. I cant take a $#@!ing chance. The place that she is renting, her lease is expiring soon, and the natural thing to do after being together for so long would be for her to move in. And I couldn't say yes. We trialled it for a few weeks and there were no problems whatsoever. However every SINGLE day, I would be thinking about it and would be up and down over it. One moment I would be thinking that it will be fantastic. A few minutes later I was thinking, oh no, bad idea. I kept thinking, what if we break up? Where will she live? I cant kick her out. What if were together for a while, break up, and she wants to take half of my stuff? (Which she is legally entitled to do in Australia after living here for 6 months, and an issue she brought up and said she would never do that to me if it ever happened) What if I never get the feeling that I want to get married or have kids? A lot of my friends are doing this, and I didn't know if it just wasn't the right time for me or that I simply didn't want either.
She had mentioned that she might want kids later on down the track, she didn't know for certain, she did want to get married one day, although, no time soon she stressed. And I kept thinking to myself, I'm not feeling it now, will I ever? Should I say yes to moving in, continue along for however long and then let her down when my feelings about issues like marriage and kids come up? She would always say that you need to take chances in life and see where it takes you. My brain just doesn't work that way, I need to know that everything will work out the way it should, and I $#@!ing hate it. I'm 27 years old and have missed out on so much in life because of it already.

I was scared of sharing my house because I'm a stupid $#@!ing $#@!.

We broke up last night, I told her I couldn't guarantee I could give her what she wants or deserves to make her happy. Because I was still having negative thoughts about future possibilities. I went with my gut instinct last night. And I $#@!ing hate myself fot it, I cant even look at myself in the mirror.
We trialled living together for a bit, and there were no issues. It was great to come home to her, but my worrying of the future and worrying if I could give her what she wants and deserves threw me off.
I dont know if it was because I was scared, or what. Sometimes I felt that I loved her, but wasn't in love with her, other times I knew I was in love with her. There was nothing that she wouldn't do for me, she was always so thoughtful.

Last night as she was packing her things I kept thinking to just say, "$#@! it, move in!" but kept thinking that would be selfish on my behalf. That it would potentially be a quick fix, but I would still be worrying. It would make her happy for now, but would I be able to keep her happy always? I couldn't even answer that to myself. And that in itself is probably the answer.

Last year she bought a puppy, and we raised it together. I love that dog so $#@!ing much and I wont be able to play with it or take it for a walk again. It always loves you unconditionally. Has such a wonderful personality, always getting into mischief. When I got home from work it would always sprint from the laundry to the front door to greet me. We were a little family, and I chose to break it off because of my own insecurities and doubts.

And now after its over, everything that I was worried about seems like it would have been a great idea. What the $#@! is with that? How can the mind possibly work that way? Telling you that something is a bad idea when you have it, and then telling you how great it was after the fact? What the $#@!? Why the $#@! when you have something good, you think you can get something better? What do I need to do? I kept telling myself you have an awesome girl who loves you, but I still thought, oh no, things will go wrong. $#@!s sake! Its as if I want to be a miserable $#@! my whole life. I picture happiness in the future for a second, then I get back to my normal ways of not wanting to take a $#@!ing chance and I $#@!ing hate myself.

We said we will try to still be friends, and I'm praying that it works because I feel I need her in my life still. She said I can visit the dog too which I'm thankful for. I just dont know why I have expectations of everything to be perfect from the get go, I know what my problems are but I have no idea what I need to do to fix them.

I keep telling myself that in the long run, because I couldn't guarantee I could always make her happy that it was the right decision to make, and that it was for her, because of how much of a stupid $#@!ing $#@! I am. I look back at the little things that annoyed me and I keep wondering how little things manage to get to me, and why I expect perfection all the time when I am far from perfect myself. I need to change, but I have no idea what I need to do, and if I ever will be able to.

I want to be able to go back to last night, and go to the exact moment where everything was still fine, to where I started to say no to moving in, and just say yes and see what happens. I don't know why I cant take chances.

What do you think it is that keeps you from just be happy with the situation you had going on it seems like its a serious internal struggle that won't let you be happy?

What do you think it is that keeps you from just be happy with the situation you had going on it seems like its a serious internal struggle that won't let you be happy?

I honestly dont know. I've been like this for a long time over a lot of things. I have a stable job, I work hard, I have a house, bought a new sports car etc, but I can never seem to be happy. I always want to work more, buy more things, but cant find the end of the road. I always need to make sure things will be perfect, and if I dont know for sure, I cant commit. I have (had) everything a sane person would want, yet its not enough, and I cant find happiness, now I've hurt someone I truly love, I wont be able to watch the puppy we raised grow up, and I have no idea what I need to do to find happiness.

I can kinda relate sometimes I feel that way about my current situation with my GF. However I never act on it cause I know its not her its me I'm used to being single and enjoyed it. Funny you mentioned a sports car I'm looking for one now to suppress those thoughts if u will. I mean I don't have then much lately but I'm the type of person when I'm not busy or doing anything I think and that's when all this wild $#@! runs thru my mind.

My advise is you need to find out what's going on internally with you that's making you feel this way bro. Doesn't sound like a new girl or anything will work out till you find the source of this problem. Maybe you just need to understand that you've worked hard and earned what u got time to enjoy it to me sounds like you get bored cause your mind is always on the next thing and the future instead of the present

You have someone you are interested in and that person is friendly to you and all but nothing ever happens. You're more acquaintances than friends. A few years go by and you miss that person. Do you reestablish a connection or let it be?

Some people would think people change and maybe things would be different but I know others would say that there was a reason it did not work out so let it be.

So what do you think? What would you do?

Focus. Control. Conviction. Resolve. A true ace lacks none of these attributes. Nothing can deter you from the task at hand except your own fears. This is your sky.

well i keep dreaming of my perfect girl and yet when i come to reality, it's so hard to understand that she is dreaming of me and we might never meet...

I am out there and being me and it seems to be not enough. RESPECT is lost on most girls in bars, clubs and anywhere on a weekend. I do not want a one night stand or a quickie in the bushes. I would love to meet someone that i can approach with out the fear of he is going to ask me out.

Chatting to ladies is excellent with me and i find it extremely easy, but when you are nice

They assume the path you are going down and i can tell by the way they act, that it's not worth entering any further conversation. Because they think i am after one thing and i am truly not

i want to get to know a lady first and build a trust. No matter how long it takes

I can wait, that is not a problem... I have respect

so why do they not see that and honesty i speak always and never give anything away about my reasons for talking to them

Plato and Aristotle, a detail of The School of Athens, a fresco by Raphael. Aristotle gestures to the earth, representing his belief in knowledge

You have someone you are interested in and that person is friendly to you and all but nothing ever happens. You're more acquaintances than friends. A few years go by and you miss that person. Do you reestablish a connection or let it be?

Some people would think people change and maybe things would be different but I know others would say that there was a reason it did not work out so let it be.

So what do you think? What would you do?

Well bro if you have a way to contact that person no harm in reaching out and see how their doing then go from there.

I've had this happen in the past sometimes led to a fling. Sometimes it led to a bad situation I had to cut it short.

However reach out bro see what's going on. She may be single and maybe something can happen but u don't know if u don't reach out.

I've been there.. about seven years later, I found her on facebook, and we've been great friends since. I've traveled a few hours to watch a soccer match, met her kids.. one of which was just a newborn last I saw her. It's a great feeling for pieces of the heart to be put back in place, regardless of how deep it goes. Know what I mean...?

You have someone you are interested in and that person is friendly to you and all but nothing ever happens. You're more acquaintances than friends. A few years go by and you miss that person. Do you reestablish a connection or let it be?

Some people would think people change and maybe things would be different but I know others would say that there was a reason it did not work out so let it be.

So what do you think? What would you do?

I met someone I used to like back in the early days of HS, last year. She changed a lot to say the least. I met up with her after years of no real contact, and had a nice time. Those old feelings were gone, but it was nice to catch up with her. She was kinda "first crush" type situation.

I see no harm in trying to reestablish a connection. I've done that with a friend or two, and it made me remember why I was friends with them in the first place.

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