Rebecca & Fiona are coming to a nightclub near you

An investigation by Dancing Astronaut has revealed that the Swedish government knowingly injects the country’s water supply with the chemical “Swedepop.” The chemical, which is produced in Sweden’s sparsely populated countryside, gives certain Swedes the ability to make music that achieves remarkable success in the United States — the target of this nefarious scheme. The program has been helped by high-profile American artists who willingly collaborate with the Swedes — most recently Kaskade.

The “Swedepop” doctrine began in the 1970s, when the Swedish government became disgusted with the music that was growing popular in the U.S. To combat America’s influence on the world’s ears, Sweden assembled a top-secret, elite team consisting of two married couples. “ABBA,” as the project came to be known, became the world’s most powerful Weapon of Mass Dancestruction (WMD), selling hundreds of millions of albums. The ABBA project was eventually scrapped, but the Swedepop apparatus continued. In the last twelve months alone, Swedish WMDs have wreaked havoc on the American people in the form of the Swedish House Mafia and Weapon X (codename: Avicii).

Dancing Astronaut has obtained the names and locations of Sweden’s latest — and most dangerous — operatives. Rebecca & Fiona, who recently won a Swedish Grammi award for best dance act, will launch an assault on North American nightclubs from March to May. Rebecca and Fiona’s creepily cool new single, “Dance” demonstrates that the duo is willing and able to use synth lines as seductively as possible. Consider yourself warned.