CSB: One time in Hoboken I was participating in a beer pong tourney at an Elk's Club. They had kegs of Yuengling and a couple bottles of wild turkey. Toward the end of the night someone was playing a joke by filling a solo cup halfway with the wild turkey, pretending it was Yuengling, and trying to get people to chug it. Most people sniffed it or took a sip and figured it out, but already being quite hammered I just grabbed it and chugged it. Next thing I recall is waking up in my hotel room with a rather annoyed girlfriend who said the worst of it was when I stole one of the beer pong tables and ran down the streets of Hoboken with it trying to find our party bus and then crammed it on board.

CSB: Camping trip, drinking Wild Turkey strait out of the bottle. One of my friends goes off in the woods to pee. 20 min later still not back. We can't find him because he's wearing all camouflageand he's passed out in a pile of leaves . Someone tripped over him, that's how we found him.

Repo Man:The windshield in my truck was nearly caved in by a flying wild turkey.

Tangentially related csb time!

Many moons ago, I was driving home. I noticed that a turkey was flying infront of and parallel to my to my truck. He started banking toward the roadway; it was like an action movie. The turkey hit the top of my truck's grill, bounced over the cab, hitting the roof and finally bounced on the tailgate, nearly landing in the bed of the truck. I thought about going back for it, but decided that any turkey dumb enough to bank right into my truck probably wouldn't be good to eat.

/ also tangentially related csb: when ever I said silly things in my granny's presence; she'd call me a turkey.

Repo Man:The windshield in my truck was nearly caved in by a flying wild turkey.

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Ive seen small aircraft with dents that size in various places courtesy of bird hits. Worst was a 152 Cessna that nearly lost its horizontal tail plane due to a Turkey Vulture strike. Pilot made a mistake...he saw the bird coming and dove...which is a bad thing since birds always dive to avoid obstacles. The rule to avoid birds is to climb.

10 Things the Powers of Evil and Darkness are Doing to Destroy Thanksgiving

10. Putting Christmas decorations and goods out before Halloween. 9. Guilting us about eating grotesquely obese commercial turkeys instead of Nature's own perfect food, the wild turkey. 8. Oven Top Stuffing and other supposedly time-saving dishes that require more time washng-up than they save us cooking-time. 7. Holding us up to impossible to maintain Martha Stewart standards of hospitality, cooking, decoration, etc. 6. Feeding us lies about peaceful relations and friendship between the Puritans and Indians. 5. Playing football games during a holiday, thus guarantng maximum levels of boredom, ennui, and division among family members. 4. Fox preempts our beloved cartoons and shows for football, thus ruining the weekend for everybody. 3. Wild Turkey ruins more holidays than dry, over-cooked turkey. 2. Driving a wedge between the world's religions. 1. Forcing us to be thankful with our farking families instead of people we like and with whom we share our politics and values.

And who is behind the Powers of Evil and Darkness? The turkeys. They are trying to destroy all of the major turkey-cooking holidays.