Change Your Relationship with Change

Well, in a not-very-technical nutshell, it means that some of us are crap at dealing with change and if we’re serious about creating better results in our world, we need to do better. On the one hand, we say we want to change our life (or part thereof) but on the other, when our day to day reality is not familiar, predictable and comfortable, we freak out. Sometimes, get angry. Occasionally, have an emotional melt-down.

A Barrier to Happiness

For many of us, the inability (or unwillingness) to deal with change, unpredictability and uncertainty is our biggest barrier to personal growth, empowerment and happiness. Period. In theory, we’re enamored with the fairy-tale of creating our best life (the fun, easy, painless, quick version) but away from the feel-good self-help fluff and out in the real world, many of us continue to avoid anything that might interrupt our all-too-familiar routines and rituals. We are predictably predictable. Of course, we want the results of change (the end benefit) but we don’t necessarily want the process of change. We want the rewards without the risk.

On some level, all this avoidance comes down to fear and ultimately, you will control it or it will control you.

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I’ve read a few of your articles where you say we need to manage/ control fear or be managed by it. What are some practical strategies for doing this. I’m not so much the anger person but, I am very much the ‘fear’ person. I would like to manage this response to situations.

Kat, there’s no easier way to overcome fear than to do what scares you. Start with small things (mildy-scary) and graduate slowly. As you conquer your small fears, confidence and courage will grow and before long your ten-out-of-ten fear response will become an eight, a seven, a five and maybe one day… a zero. Most of us will never ‘think’ our way out of fear, so we need to ‘do’ our way out of it.

I’m nervous about change – but also not entirely wanting to stay as I am, which is familiar, and safe, but isolated. Have progressed as far as saying hello to quite a few people, which is a start, but find it quite difficult to get to know people, because I don’t get much beyond talking about the weather or the traffic.

It’s the age old problem. Ever met a woman who wanted to have a baby but didn’t want to be pregnant? Not possible, at least not yet. There’s always a process that precedes significant accomplishment – and that process is often not pretty.

It really does just come down to the mindset with anything. If you need to do stuff then the process of change, although not always pleasant, still beats staying where you are. That works for me. I now change stuff constantly and cannot remember what a comfort zone feels like. I try new stuff and if that does not work I try something else. Being able to actually try new stuff just because you can is a bit of an adventure.

Craig’s New Book

Not surprisingly, Craig’s latest book is a no-nonsense, straight-talking instruction manual for life. It’s filled with funny stories, simple strategies, unique insights, powerful messages and more swearing than his mother would like. Each of the 101 brief chapters is a self-contained lesson, meaning that it doesn’t need to be read front to back. It’s a resource, not a novel. Ironically, this book is written for people who don’t (necessarily) like reading books. It’s an easy read; relaxed, amusing and relevant. /p>

Stop F*cking Around

The Self-Help book for people who hate Self-Help. It’s simple, strategic, funny and empowering. Some of us have been setting the same goals, losing and regaining the same weight, making and breaking the same promises, having the same pointless conversations about the same mindless crap, avoiding the same issues, making the same excuses and, let’s be honest, f*cking around for years. In this amusing, entertaining and sometimes confronting book, Craig tells us why - when it comes to our own lives - we’re both the problem and the solution.

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Craig Harper, at one of his 'Renovate Your Life' seminars

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Corporate Speaking

Craig Harper is one of Australia’s most respected motivational speakers and educators. Working with hundreds of teams, companies and a wide variety of organisations over the last twenty years has given Craig a unique insight into, and understanding of, human performance and all its variables. Craig has an ability to educate, inspire and make people laugh all at the same time!

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Craig’s Kids Book

The Angry Ant is a personal development book for kids wrapped in a ‘Once Upon a Time’ story. It’s a book with important messages, concepts and conversation-starters, with the core themes being tolerance, communication, awareness, perspective, choices, kindness, happiness, anger, acceptance and friendship. While it’s most suitable for kids in the four to eight (year) range, the messages are relevant for all of us.