Sunday, July 21, 2013

Amazing Love

The other day I was spending time reading my Bible and praying. It was midmorning, before the sun got really hot and the girls were playing quietly in their quiet times. I wrote in my journal, "Lord, I just don't even sense your presence or love to me. I know you love me and I trust your promises but I am parched." It had been so long since I really felt a personal love from Him.

As a mom to littles living on the mission field, there are so many lies I hear whispered in my ear all day long.

You are alone.

You are worthless.

Your contribution to the work of the Kingdom is meaningless.

The darkness surrounding you is too deep.

You are a coward.

You will never acclimate to the new culture you live and minister in.

You don't have a part in ministering to the beautiful children in the community.

You are separate and nothing. Worthless. Failure.

Lies. Lies. Lies.

There I sat midmorning, trying to immerse my mind and heart in Scripture and God's promises and wrestling with these lies.

And suddenly it was as if Someone reached into my mind and flipped a switch in direct answer to my prayer.

I had a sudden vision of a hand reaching down in a vineyard and tenderly, so very tenderly, lifting a branch from the dust and gently raising it up to the warm sunlight. I knew I was the branch and the tenderness of the Hand was the Spirit comforting me with His love.

My spirit leapt in response and my breath caught in my chest as I pressed my hand over my lips in awe. His love flooded over me and I knew that I was secure in the love of the most trustworthy One there is, One who listened to my cry and immediately came bounding to me.

No longer was I a shamefaced failure hiding behind a tree in the Garden but now I remembered that I am a Daughter before her Father.

"Bold I approach the eternal throne and claim the crown of Christ my own. Amazing love! How can it be that Thou my God didst die for me?"

2 comments:

Amazing, we just heard a message on Sunday about that very picture you described of the hand of God lifting up His branch to encourage and cause to be refreshed. My prayers are with you. I understand all the lies whispered. Sarah, look at your beautiful girls, your ministry to them is so apparent when you are around them for a short time or when I read of their responses to situations and children around them. That is a result of your ministry. Those children that you have at your house each week experience your love given to them each even as lovingly provide snacks and help in small ways. They see and they know you love them. Your work is hard and you are in a dark place but you shine very bright! I love you!