Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Quick-Post: Bradlee Van Pelt can eat a bag of dicks

I have only known one athlete in my life who can bring me to physical violence. That man is Bradlee Van Pelt. My hate for him is strong, and, at this point, completely irrational. I make no excuses.

Last seen dancing around the CSU sideline (wearing a fucking flag for a cape, no less) while his former school was losing to CU in '04, the epic blowhard of a QB took to the Denver Post today to compare himself to Tim Tebow. Never the one for tact or humility, with that typical whiff of arrogance that we've all come to know, Van Pelt seemed more than happy to throw his name in there with the likes of the current Broncos QB. Not only does he say that he "sees himself" in Tebow, but he goes on to intimate that given the opportunity, he'd have succeeded just as Saint Timmy has.

That's the biggest steaming crock-pot of horseshit I've ever heard. No matter how impassioned he got, Saint Timmy has never gone so far as to show up an opponent like this:

BVP is a raging hemorrhoid attack of a human being, and should never, ever, be positively compared to #15.

Additionally, unlike BVP, Tebow is actually a world-class athlete, capable of competing in the NFL at any number of positions, as has been proven by his immediate success despite obvious deficiencies. That Van Pelt failed to even get a whiff of meaningful playing time is not the fault of his coaches, it's a result of his failings as an athlete. Just because you can run a little bit, doesn't make you NFL QB potential.

3 comments:

Holy crap, I know can understand your hatred for Bradley Van Pelt. That was one of the most ridiculous pieces of journalism I have read in quite some time, I can't believe he actually said those things.

Good luck in the wine business BVP, you are gonna need that wine soon to keep convincing yourself of that crap