Actually, the best fight of the night was a ring melee involving the opposing camps after a rigged decision against Miami lightweight Lamar Murphy. Murphy beat up WBC champ Miguel Gonzalez but got jobbed by two of the three judges, protecting Gonzalez's future date against Julio Cesar Chavez.

Anyway, back to the alleged main event. It was bad enough that McNeeley was an overmatched, incompetent palooka exploited because of his race. It was worse when his manager jumped into the ring to stop the travesty 89 seconds and two knockdowns into the fight, rendering his man a quitter.

No guts, no glory

For big bucks, people expect a real conclusion, even if it is a barbaric one like a man splayed to the canvas, legs quivering like jelly.

Fools. How can anybody expect anything honest in a sport dominated by convicted felons, from the promoter Don King (manslaughter) to the prime pawn in his fiefdom, Mike Tyson (rape).

And guess what. When Nov. 4 rolls around, and they serve up Buster Mathis Jr. or Bruce Seldon as Tyson's next opponent, you'll be seduced by the hype again and shell out $50, even as Evander Holyfield and Riddick Bowe fight across town on the same night.

Unless you wise up. Which is entirely a possibility after Saturday's shennanigans. But not likely. After all, not one person has ever gone broke by underestimating the public's intelligence.

What we didn't learn much about Saturday was Mike Tyson. McNeeley's undisciplined, brawling style didn't offer him any sort of test, and we couldn't really tell how Tyson's long layoff affected his skills and stamina.

"I'm happy," the tight-lipped Tyson said when it was over. "I've beaten people with bigger reputations faster."

Possibly the best moment of the whole night came at the post-fight news conference, a circus that included guests and VIPs cheering on the sidelines, when one impudent soul had the audacity to ask, "Mike, we were wondering, after a four-year layoff, who your first opponent is going to be?'' It certainly wasn't McNeeley.

Yes, it was ripoff

Tyson was so heavily controlled this week it was scary, and his contempt for the media seems to have grown. He offered nothing of insight at his news conference, responding to nearly every query with the same mantra, "Praise be Allah, I'm just happy to be here and involved."

But he had to be a little embarrassed about the whole thing. There are rumors he is about to try to break free from King's control and there was one public sign of friction when Tyson rebuked King for interrupting him during the final pre-fight news conference.

King might prove to be vulnerable in the coming months. He is scheduled to stand trial in New York on charges of filing a false insurance claim involving Lloyds of London, and the word is the charges might stick. King could be going on one of those vacations that Tyson just returned from.

Meanwhile, it might be best if we all took a vacation from boxing.

It's no longer a sport, but vaudeville.

"We had quite a spectacle tonight," King said after the fight. "This was not a ripoff."

If you disagree, be strong on Nov. 4. Resist the urge to punch up that pay-per-view number. Go to your local video store and rent Raging Bull. At least that's guaranteed to be better boxing action than the outrageous bull that will flow from your screen from Las Vegas.