It’s interesting that as Apple shares climb toward the $700 level – a level few achieve - the high-tech darling was not part of a recasting today of the Dow Jones Industrial Average, the granddaddy of the indexes and the very personification of blue-chip corporate America.

Apple’s too big (and to emphasize that point, Apple today rose to as high as $696.98). It would pull the Dow in directions that would ultimately diminish the index’s main job of being a blue-chip benchmark.

So UnitedHealth gets in there to replace Kraft. It makes sense, really. Healthcare is only growing in importance, and tech is already well represented in the index.

But, well, look, this isn’t TMZ. We can’t write crazy, speculative stuff about Kardashians or British royalty. Apple and the Dow is all we’ve got. So indulge us. Plus, it’s interesting to think about how Apple would alter the DNA of the DJIA. It would pull it and bend it in ways that would require at least a vague understanding of the Theory of Relativity (which we have, of course).

If Apple (or Google for that matter) were added to the Dow:

…its stock price would make it weigh about the same as the 15 Dow components with the lowest stock prices. Combined. Everything from Alcoa and Bank of America to Disney and Coca-Cola.

The keepers of the DJIA rejiggered the index again today, adding UnitedHealth and subtracting Kraft. But the real question is, what happened to Apple? MarketWatch’s Polya Lesova stopped by the Markets Hub this morning to go over the details.

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UnitedHealth’s inclusion into the Dow industrials as of Sept. 24 amid Kraft’s impending breakup shows just how much health care is at the core of the US economy.

It’s also the first time a pure-play health insurer is part of the index; current health-focused companies are product makers Pfizer and J&J.

Meanwhile, removing Kraft after just 4 years — making it one of the shorter tenures in the DJIA — and not replacing it with a tech name comes as the likes of Hewlett-Packard and Cisco have been millstones of late for the index.

Guess Apple still isn’t worthy.

Meanwhile, other changes are afoot for Kraft in the index world.

On Monday, when-issued shares of Kraft and North American grocery spinoff Mondelez will begin trading on Nasdaq under the symbols KRFTV and MDLZV, respectively.

The snack maker announced in June a shift from its NYSE listing. The trading starts a week before Kraft exits the DJIA.

The spinoff is set to be completed after the close of trading on Oct. 1.

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