A little blog about a little journey to make our little family bigger. Follow the story of two wives' experience with alternative methods to making a baby. Learn a little, laugh a little (God willing, a lot, sometime's Kate's game is off) and cross your fingers for a little plus sign.

New Here?

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Oh, The Places You Will Go... To Take an Ovulation Test

Congratulations!Today you can predict.You're off to Great Places!To Pee on a Stick!You have a pricey device in your hand.You have a window of time.You will enter sketchy placesWith hopes of seeing more than 1 line.OH! THE PLACES YOU'LL GO! (...to take an ovulation test)You'll be on an airplane!You'll be a contortionist!People waiting will judge youYou, the TSA will blacklist.JetBlue Airplane

You'll do it at work.The last stall will be your lab.Your coworkers will thinkYour bowels need rehab.At Work: When you walk into the stall with OPK stick in hand & you bump into your CEO.

You will do it at a theater

Where you used to work.

With biddies and blue hairs

Around your stall they will lurk.

You'll be in an instanceWhere balance is key.Don't do as I didThat train porter is now damaged, yes sirree.High Speed Acela Amtrak Train and by high speed I mean warp speed taking every corner at the exact time you close the door

You may be out of the comforts of your own home.Remember to boost the shampoo, the conditioner and the comb.Word to the wise of the minibar where you may roam.Your hormonal state may cause you to eat that $40 Toblerone.Being on the road for work is beyond exhausting I must say,Beware of the handle to the left of the sink as it ends up being the bidet.Fancy Ass Hotel on a business trip

You will come to a place where the bathrooms look cryptic.

Not to mention the stalls look apocalyptic.

A place you could catch diseases that run the gambit!

Why does it look like a wet dog shook off, dammit??!

Penn Station

What it finally feels like to do the test in the comforts of your our own bathroom

So...be it a port-o, an outhouse, a latrineor a commode,Lines that look like SanskritYou'll sit and decode!Your loo is waiting.So go stand in line!Soon you'll see the happy faceAnd enjoy one last wine.