11/15/2007

It was my first time, it was supposed to be special...

*** Note *** This post is rated B/G , (Blogger Guidance) for crude language and it’s mild sexual inferences. Any similarity between this post and the eminent future discussions between mini-Pebbles, and myself, is strictly coincidence and shall not be thought of again, for a really,,,, really,,,, really……LONG TIME !=======================================================

It was supposed to be special. That’s what I’ve heard from everyone else I’ve ever talked to. The build up leading to the first time is a sensual frenzy for the mind and soul. With each tick of the clock passing and the time getting closer and closer, my body was writhe with anticipation. I was on sensory overload. I had made up my mind and it was going to happen last night. I’d found the one that had wanted me, as bad as I wanted them. It was time. At 10:00pm on Wednsday November 14th, 2007, I lost my Mookinity.

It was supposed to be special. The foreplay leading in was incredible. It was easy to see now, how all the others before me had been drawn into the same dark and unforgiving place that I was headed for. With subtle words like “hey Bam” and “glad U could make it.” I was lured ever closer to the big moment. Then others joined in and made me feel as if I belonged somehow. “Bam-Bam !!!” came screaming out at me as if to say, “I am so glad to see you!” It was IG, she’s always one to make me feel just right. Then I look to my left and sense a warmth and familiarity, totally intended to welcome me to the fold. Ah Drizz. What a great feeling it was, to have my favourite Purple Poker Player around to protect me should anything go awry. I took a look around to see who else would help, should I need it in an emergency. I should have known! Carson has always been there for me. Anytime I’ve ever needed anything, he gets it done and just shrugs off his support by saying, “that’s what friends do.” Despite the comfort of having these friends here during my moment, for a short time I was uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable! Something just wasn’t right. You know the feeling I’m talking about? I thought it was nerves about whether or not I could do everything right and not look like a fool. Then suddenly, my surroundings lured me even deeper into their spell with a soft and gentle “Bam-Bam!” I simply replied, “Kat.” Now, all was just puuurrr-fect for my special night. I slipped deeper into the transe-like state my partner, or partners were hoping I would succumb too. It was working.

It was supposed to be special. With my surroundings becoming more and more comfortable by the minute, it was easier to find my environment more inviting than I could have imagined. Welcomes, banter and chat intended to create the image needed to seduce my very soul. It was wonderful. All the foreplay made me warm inside and I let myself go, I reveled in the lusciousness that I was becoming. Those responsible, ( Yes ! there were many of them for my first time! ) for making me feel so amazing and powerful, would come and go with only whispers of breath and gifts for my stack. It was all so…………so……….. SEXY! Although I am new to the game, I believe that I know how and what I was feeling. It was definitely sexy. I had tripled up on the stack of goodies I brought to the party. I was sitting in my own piece of my own personal heaven.

It was supposed to be special. There was a hand, or maybe two, that rubbed me ever so slightly the wrong way. But I knew I would make a mistake here and there, It was my first time after all. At least I was learning from them. I proved that point to myself and those around me, when I grew tired of the one that was touching me inappropriately. I made him go away and I kept all that he had brung to my big night. Message sent loud and clear, this is supposed to be special for me! Pardon the play on words but, DON’T FUCK WITH ME TONIGHT! It took almost no time for that message to get around to all the others. All the others save one! As I not only stayed around for, but actually paid quite a bit extra for more of this lovely play, this one wanted to barge in. Sometimes, when push comes to shove, I can get pretty bossy. This was one of those moments. I had my girls with me and they weren’t going anywhere. In fact my girls were very good and brought their sister by, just in case. So there we were, me, three girls and what must have been a lonesome and angry sole, playing with his cowboys. Me and my girls sent not just a strong message, but we forced ourselves down ‘this cowboys’ face as if to say, 'I’ve got your number buddy. There’s nothing to see here, move along.' He wouldn’t budge. In fact he was pushing back at us, all the while saying, “I guess I lose.”

It was supposed to be special. Instead, he brought out another cowboy that he’d picked up out by the river. Together, his three cowboy’s raped me. Right there in front of my friends, they removed every shred of decency and pleasure that was involved in my special night. I was raped, violated and had no manner of sense at what had just occurred. Friends tried to console me and I tried to listen. I wanted to strangle the bastard and cut up him AND his stupid fucking cowboys. But it wasn’t his fault. I know that. You see, he too was lured just as deep into this degenerative world, as I was. He had his cowboys and a horse named kicker. What was he supposed to do? Could I really expect him to act like a gentleman and just lay them down softly, so I could have my way with them? Not likely. Instead, he got what he wanted, not me. Now I’m finding out, that this is actually closer to the true story of most peoples first time! That's a shame. It is supposed to be special.

It was supposed to be special…… instead I got raped. I still feel a little dirty, despite trying to wash it away several times already.

To my freinds I say thanks. We'll do it again, don't worry. It just won't be my first time anymore.

To my lovely Pebbles...... Thanks for being the one "true" love of my life. You make everything else, seem like nothing but a post.;o)