An alternative romance.

Although this post is aimed mainly at the fairer sex, I recommend that you men stick with it as you may just learn a little more about the inner machinations of the female mind – and how can that be a bad thing? So read on all … you have nothing to lose!

As we ladies all know, there’s nothing better than a touch of romance. It reawakens our often long dormant feelings of desirability and suddenly everything takes on a new, rose-tinted guise. The ordinary transforms into the extraordinary, the mundane is suddenly filled with infinite possibility and a previously muted world becomes alive with colour and beauty. It is, simply, wonderful!

Head over heels in lust!

So why is it that we allow this immense pleasure to be dispensed to us in meagrely measured doses by another? Why is this joy so rare, so seemingly unattainable? Shouldn’t we all be actively seeking this delight?

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m certainly not suggesting we all don our most alluring outfits and troll the local clubs and pubs in search of a steamy liaison. Oh no, no, no! The answer is much more innocent … and much safer! It’s simply an alternative form of romance.

The Oxford Advanced Learner’s dictionary defines it as (amongst other things) “a feeling of excitement and adventure”, “a feeling of intensity and pleasure, usually associated with a love affair”. If we adopt these definitions of romance rather than the ‘head over heels in lust’ kind and concede that a love affair can be with a place, a thing or a pastime (as in my passionate love affair with Paris, chocolate and writing), then why can’t we be the controllers of our own romantic experiences? Why can’t we inject excitement, adventure, intensity and especially pleasure into our everyday experiences?

Well, of course, the answer is simple … we can! It’s really not about factors outside ourselves at all. We are the architects of our lives and we alone dictate how we respond to what happens around us.

Joyous experiences

Anyone who has ever been blown along a windswept beach on a blustery day has experienced the sheer exhilaration of being alive. In the same way, curling up beside a roaring fire, latte and riveting novel in hand will always evoke feelings of intense satisfaction and pleasure. To borrow the term from Sarah Ban Breathnach, it’s all about “Romancing the Ordinary”.

It’s all about finding the pleasure and romance in simplicity.It’s about bubbles, lotions and sweet-smelling potions at bath time, the scent of lavender as you enter the front gate and candles on the dining table, even if you’re eating alone.

So, as the season changes and winter wraps its icy fist around us, let’s not mourn the demise of summer, but instead, let’s romance the changing season by revelling in life’s everyday sensory joys.

If you’ll excuse me, I’m off to pour myself a glass of wine and watch the magnificent sunset from my balcony – so much more enjoyable than the pile of laundry that awaits my attention. Despite my best efforts, I’m still trying to find the romance it that!