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You Marry Yourself

June 5, 2009
In Los Angeles, I actually did know a girl who had a marriage party for herself and, with all the celebrating! To a large degree, we marry and couple with someone who represents much of ourselves. To hate a mate as time goes on, is to really see what you think of yourself. Couples may or may not resemble each other in looks but inside the similarities are uncanny.

Marriage is two mirror images walking through life. One may be more evolved than the other but similarities and values largely coincide even if they show up differently. For example, the partner who cheats when the other doesn’t, is really the outcome of both making decisions. The one who doesn’t cheat has chosen not to communicate on all levels and, as a result creates a partner who makes choices that are not communicated.

Marriage ideally is a total communication merger in all aspects of life such that there are no secrets or the need for them. Choosing a marriage of individuality with out submitting to the other is at best a ‘rocky relationship’ doomed to a marriage of ‘questionable practicality’ without the evolvement of an ‘us’. Love is always excited to see the other. Love seeks the highest of choices with the others feelings uppermost in consideration.

It’s very rare to see a marriage where two people’s internal thinking and heart are not that different regardless of their protests. I can think of the many dysfunctional couples I’ve encountered (of course they appear so to me at least) and although they may have different expressions of abhorrent behaviors, to the outsider, they complement each other far more than a real close up would reveal. Marriage seems to be the ‘karma’ for what and who you are in terms of self love or, lack thereof. Couples are clever at covering up their dysfunction to the outsider but upon close observation the surprising ‘flaws’ are hidden just under the surface.

Find someone who loves themselves in a healthy way with all the characteristics of that, and if you’re in the same position, you are truly blessed to know each other! Miracles are possible! Couples getting married should attend classes on how to make a marriage work as well as how to end it, if chosen, in a friendly, responsible, harmonious way.
Arhata