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Monday, July 30, 2012

Yellow Car

If
necessity is the mother of invention, desperation is its grandmother.

I’m
driving home from picking up two grandsons from school.They are both strapped into the back seat
when the yelling starts.I hear a swat,
then a howl followed by a bloodcurdling battle cry, and the scrimmage begins.

I’m
merging onto a stretch of expressway that resembles a French braid and our
three lives depend on my total concentration.

“Let’s
play a game.”I shout over the battle of
fists coming from the back seat of my Jeep.

They
answer with another smack and another cry of pain.

“There
can only be one winner; everyone else will be losers.” I singsong the word “losers” knowing that might divert
their attention.

I
merge left thanks to the kindness of a young man in a yellow car.

The
older one asks over the screams of his younger brother, “What kind of game?”

“Let’s
count trucks.We like trucks.” I try not
to sound desperate.

“That’s
no fun.That isn’t special.” There is a
whine in his voice.He detests math in
every form and cannot be seduced into doing “work.”

I
merge left again and this time I give the yellow car a break.

“Yellow
cars,” I say.“Have you two ever noticed
how few there are?” The game will be fair. The three-year-old knows his colors
and can count up to twenty.

The
back seat is quiet now as I merge left one last time.We are now safely on our route, and I settle
in for the 30-minute ride. “Whoever sees a yellow car or truck first gets to
claim it, and the person with the highest number by the time we get to
grandma’s is the winner.”

“One,”
the oldest says, claiming the yellow car we pass on our right.

***

Thus
we three invented a game that we feel is uniquely ours.

They
love it so much the boys teach it to everyone they know, and it has now become
a familiar game among our families and friends. Because some of us will do anything to win, we “clarified” the rules to
include any yellow vehicle that moves on its own or is hitched to a vehicle
with an engine. Busses, trucks, tractors, motorcycles, or a yellow crop duster count,
but trailers or other equipment must be presently hitched to a moving vehicle.
Unattached trailers do not count.

A
yard full of yellow school busses or a lot full of yellow construction trucks
is a gold mine for its claimant, but you must
have someone witness your yellow find. Stating it was “back there” is a no. Also,
the vehicle must be “mostly” yellow and can have markings of another color but
it cannot be another color with yellow markings. (Like I said, some folks will do anything to
win.)

In
case of a dispute, the oldest person inside the car is the final judge and
quitting before reaching the Finish Line is equivalent to forfeiting but you can
choose who to give your points if the game continues without you.

My
grandsons have recently come up with a more challenging version of Yellow
Car.They now count “police cars” – any
version thereof: sheriffs, constables, patrol, etc. As my oldest says, “They
are even rarer on the streets.”