Archive for March 2009

I would be so much more motivated to lose weight if they did an exercise class like this. Dancing and treadmills. How much more fun could you get? Anyone willing to help me get eight treadmills, somewhere to exercise and a group of other people who’d like to lose weight in a fun way?

I’ve been concerned after going to see Watchmen (brilliant film, highly recommended) that Rorschach is becoming the new Joker. Not in regards to his characterisation; they couldn’t be further apart from one another there. No, my problem is that Rorschach has, rather sadly, become a target of the fangirls. Yes, the very same ones who throw themselves at anything tragic and hobo-esque. Unfortunately for fans of the movie, the graphic novel and good fan fiction, I fear the film adaptation of Watchmen has brought us something awful and inexcusable. Out Of Character Rorschach.

Now, I have already been chastised and antagonised for having an opinion on the out of character Joker fan fiction. I read some of these because I’ve read the summary and think the idea could be handled well. How disappointed I am when I click to read it and it turns out to be a gratuitous soft porn wish fulfilment story. Where did all the good writers and ideas go?

Rorschach is one of those characters who can never be changed, not to mention one repulsed by human responses to anything. If you’ve seen the movie at the very least, you do remember when he walked right by the prostitute without so much as craning his head to look at her boobs? And don’t give me the utter crap that he’s “only interested in women who can help him” because you’re wrong. Rorschach wasn’t even interested in the slightest when the psychologist offered to help get him into a mental asylum. Why would your original character be any different?

If we just move on to appearance and presentation for a ininute, remember that he was shorter than most of the others (not that it matters too much in all honesty), he had red hair and he was not exactly the cleanest.

Now, I love red hair. Regardless of most other aspects of their appearance, I’ll happily pounce at a redhead. But never would I dare to cross Rorschach. Why? Well, for starters, he’d grab me and throw me out of the window or off the roof or down the sewer, depending on where we happened to encounter one another when I suddenly felt an onset of “Out Of Character”itis. Then there’s the fact that he obviously doesn’t care for himself whatsoever. I recall laughing as one of the officers trying to control Rorschach as they wrenched the mask off his head complained of his foul odour. Not really something I want to get involved in. And I have the feeling that if I tried to wash him he’d go completely crazy-aggressive on me. He also seems utterly repulsed by women – can you really blame him for that? After all, his mother was an evil skank. He seemed pretty glad when she died. (Graphic novel, seriously folks, go see.)

Also, his preferred face… is a Rorschach test. That’s right ladies, if you ever did manage to cling onto Rorschach, you’d wake up next to an inkblot every day for the rest of your life. And don’t think you can convince him to remove it, because you can’t. And no, in the movie he didn’t bloody remove it, he lifted it to eat. He may be crazy but he’s not stupid.

I had better not damn well see any “he must care for girls – his reaction to that little girl’s horrific death proves it!” because it doesn’t. It proves that when he had a shred of sanity left he felt for the innocent and it disgusted him to the core that someone could do such a thing.

That’s all I have to say on the matter just now. If you must attack me for my observations and opinions, go ahead. I’ve developed a very thick skin over such matters.