Tag: rambling

So I first discovered porn when I was about ten or eleven years old thanks to my Dad’s collection of Penthouse that he didn’t quite hide well enough from a nosy young girl. I’d check out the pictures and read the stories when I was home alone always very cognizant to be aware of the car pulling in. Penthouse taught me the meaning of words I probably shouldn’t have known at that age. I remember that cock was an easy one to figure out. Cunt and jizz took a little more work, but what I recall most was a picture of a busty blonde in tight black patent leather. Her tits were pushed up almost to overflowing and between a pair of thigh high boots, her pretty little pussy was shaved bare. The pictures of this woman entranced me (that should’ve been my first clue that I wasn’t straight.) As I grew older and we got an internet connection and a computer in the house I became more aware of porn and was able to piggyback off of whatever my dad was searching for. I’m sure he took the fall for me more than once, with or without realizing it. I do know that if he was aware of it, he never spoke to me about it, saving both of us what would have been a very embarrassing conversation.

And now, I’m an adult who reads and writes erotica for fun, reviews sex toys, and, if given the chance, would be interested in being part of a queer porn shoot. I think that last one will remain an unrealized dream, but that’s OK. I’ve spent years learning to become comfortable with myself and with my sexuality and I feel like pornography was a big part of that. It let me explore things vicariously that I could never have done in real life and it showed me that the things I wanted and happen to enjoy weren’t as bad or perverted as I was told by my ex. And I’m sure that in some way, my earliest experiences with those Penthouse magazines probably affected me. It might only be subconsciously, but being exposed to that at a young age may be part of why I’m so open minded today. Who knows?

I will say that, overall, my experiences with porn/erotica have been positive ones. We’re always growing and learning about ourselves and, to me, pornography is a large part of that for anyone who is constantly wanting to explore their sex life and find more ways to express their sexuality. Of course, one doesn’t need porn to do so, but I still feel there is an opening here for people to have free and honest conversation regarding sex, sexuality, and how porn either completes or competes with the ideas regarding any given sexual ideal or more. Being able to speak freely about such things can only further the human experience in my opinion and I’m glad that I’ve had such positive pornographic experiences in my life.