Thursday, January 30, 2014

The Art of Hearing

I've decided to do a mini series of style posts featuring 3 ways to wear nautical stripes. Stripes have been an obsession for me lately, and I'm a firm believer that a nautical striped shirt is a staple in the closet of any lady. Endless combinations can be made with this basic pattern. I paired my stripes today with a flashy ear piece and leather jacket for contrast. I've been dying to wear a jeweled ear cuff ever since I saw them gracing the runways and red carpet (flashback to the 90's grungy ear cuffs!).

Speaking of highlighting the ears, in respect to hearing... There seems to be a trend in my conversations lately about honesty and vulnerability, and how that relates to listening to your heart. It's impossible to be vulnerable without tuning into your heart. Most of us grow up knowing how to be honest; expressing our opinions, thoughts, and a plethora of facts stating how we feel buzzing around in our heads. But we have lost the art of validating what's going on in our deepest being - our heart. The heart doesn't understand the difference between a hurt that happened 10 years ago or yesterday, time is irrelevant. We simply learn to "get over it," "grow up," "man up," rationalize, medicate, do whatever it takes to move on and feel fine here and now. And over time, our hearts become numb, quiet and the voice that once spoke up as a child now needs to be coaxed back to life. It takes practice and intentionality to hear what's really going on inside, the heart is so used to being invalidated.

Vulnerability takes courage.

Just as it takes focus listening to the softly beating depths inside you, it takes a daring heart to express those inner secrets to someone else. I can be honest and talk personal facts with someone all day! What I feel about this, that and the other thing. How I feel about you, what I like or don't like about daily life. No problem. But if I were to sit back and tune in to my heart whispers, it will often feel like jumping off a cliff to tell you any kind of information that gives you the opportunity to reject, misunderstand, invalidate or trample on the most sensitive parts of me. But on the other side of the pendulum I am opening myself up to love, acceptance and comfort as you respond to my words. Without offering vulnerability, the depth of true intimacy with someone is severely limited. And here's a little key for you:

If you don't feel exposed, apprehensive, delicate or nervous when sharing your heart's emotions with someone close to you, you probably aren't being very vulnerable.