Yes, I’ll Marry You by Pam Ayres

Looking for a funny wedding reading? Yes, I’ll Marry You by Pam Ayres is one of our favourite wedding poems…

“Yes, I’ll marry you, my dear. And here’s the reason why: So I can push you out of bed When the baby starts to cry. And if we hear a knocking And it’s creepy and it’s late, I hand you the torch you see, And you investigate.

Yes, I’ll marry you, my dear, You may not apprehend it, But when the tumble-drier goes It’s you that has to mend it. You have to face the neighbour Should our labrador attack him, And if a drunkard fondles me It’s you that has to whack him.

Yes, I’ll marry you, my dear, You’re virile and you’re lean, My house is like a pigsty You can help to keep it clean. That sexy little dinner Which you served by candlelight, As I do chipolatas, You can cook it every night!!!

It’s you who has to work the drill And put up curtain track, And when I’ve got PMT it’s you who gets the flak, I do see great advantages, But none of them for you, And so before you see the light, I DO, I DO, I DO!!”