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Tuesday, December 31, 2013

In
this season of goodwill, make sure your children understand that prejudice and
discrimination are unfair. Here are some suggestions from the Anti-Defamation
League and the National PTA.

First, accept each of your children
as unique and special. Let your children know that you recognize and appreciate
their individual qualities.

Children
who feel good about themselves are less likely to be prejudiced.

Also,
notice unique and special qualities in other people and discuss them with your
children. Help your children become sensitive to other people’s feelings.

Studies
show that caring, empathetic children are less likely to be prejudiced.

Share stories and books with your
children that help them understand the points of view of other people. When
conflicts do occur, encourage your children to think about how the other person
might be feeling.

Make it a firm rule in your family that
no person should be excluded or teased on the basis of race, religion,
ethnicity, accent, gender, disability, sexual orientation, or appearance. Point
out and discuss discrimination when you see it.

Teach
your children respect and an appreciation for differences by providing
opportunities for interaction with people of diverse groups.

Studies
show that children playing and working together toward common goals develop
positive attitudes about one another. It all makes a difference.

Friday, December 27, 2013

Many
parents worry about the need to leave children home alone while they work. Here
are tips that can help ease your mind.

First, make a set of rules and post
them where they can’t be missed. Some useful items for the list include:

Children should go straight home and not speak
with strangers on the way.

They should always keep the door locked.

They should always answer the phone, but never
say they’re alone. They should say their parents can’t come to the phone,
take a message and hang up.

If children find a door open or a window
broken, they should go straight to a trusted neighbor and call a parent or
the police.

Drill your child on how to call the police and
give your complete address clearly.

Children should have clear access to emergency
numbers, and know what to do in case of fire, or when the smoke detector
goes off. Have a fire escape plan.

Set up a telephone routine
if you can be at a phone each day when the child is due home. Call and say
hello, or have the child call you. Work out an alternative so children can
be assured human contact if you are unavailable.

If you’re going to be late getting home, let
your child know well in advance.

Even young people who are quite
confident about staying home alone can have some nagging fears set off by a
strange noise or an ambulance siren.

Many schools have programs for
children of working parents. Remember, you’re not alone.

Thursday, December 26, 2013

An
ethic of caring is worth fostering among our children if we want to live in a
society that is compassionate and kind.

Research
confirms what common sense tells us: the more a young person values compassion,
kindness, and helping people, the more likely he or she is to actually help out
when the need arises.

That’s why it is important to
promote values of caring in our communities, our schools, our families, and our
congregations.

This
is especially the case in modern times, when the media messages that bombard
our young people are filled with conflicting values – violence, celebrity
worship, materialism, and very little of the old-fashioned “sweet” stories
young people used to hear and see at every turn.

It’s unlikely a young person will
develop caring values unless he or she is constantly exposed to adults who
model and reward them.

This
would include parents and teachers, plus a broad array of other adults and role
models as well.

What’s more, it is critical that
these values be reinforced in young people’s everyday lives, in order to
override the competing messages that surround them through music, videos, and
games.

Though we live in times when the
country appears polarized and fragmented, the goal of fostering an ethic of
caring is not impossible to achieve.

It will take a concerted effort
among those who value that outcome. It’s clear we ALL have our work cut out for
us if we want to succeed. I, for one, feel deeply that it is worth the effort.

Thursday, December 19, 2013

A Columbia University professor inspired a generation of teachers to help young children become good writers.One of her books is a parents’ guide to raising lifelong learners, and it offers some very good advice.Her basic counsel is that all things come to those who read. If children read avidly and read a lot, they will write better, spell better, they will know more, and they will care more.For parents, it is critical not only to support reading, but also to do it in the proper way.She paints two different pictures to illustrate her point. In the first scenario, the parent asks a child arriving home from school if he has any homework. The child says, “Yes, I need to read.”The parent says, “It’s good to get your homework done right away. Why don’t you go up to your room, sit at your desk, and do your reading? It really matters. That’s how you get ahead — by reading.”That’s one way to support reading. Here’s another: The parent greets the child by saying, “You’ve had a really long day at school. I bet you’re ready for time to rest and snuggle. Why don’t we each get our books and read here on the sofa? I’m in the middle of mine now.”

“I don’t know that book you’re reading. What’s it like? You’re so lucky to have teachers point you to great books like that.”

The professor says that though both approaches support reading, the second conveys the message that reading is one of life’s great joys.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

In attempting to help children become wise to the ways of television, it can help if parents encourage them to become armchair critics.

As a start, one important principle to stress is that TV’s world is not the real world. This seems so obvious to us as adults that sometimes we forget to point it out to young people.Children — particularly those under age seven — are especially vulnerable to the illusion that the events portrayed on television are real.According to developmental research, it’s not until about the second grade that children develop the intellectual ability to tell the difference between what is real and what is imaginary. At that point, discussions can take place about what is being viewed.Parents can learn to casually “pull out” bits of information about laugh tracks, and the mashed potatoes that masquerade as ice cream in commercials. Pointing out these techniques helps break the video spell.Showing how these images are manipulated helps persuade children to be skeptical about what they see on the small screen. In turn, being skeptical cuts down on the manipulation that media messages can exert on young people.

So give your young “armchair critics” the ammunition they need to dissect media messages and understand how advertising, cartoons, and other programming can exert influence if you don’t know how they work.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Holiday time can be the most loving and,
at the same time, the most materialistic period that our children go through
each year.

Sometimes it’s good to reinforce
that the most important things in life do not always involve the exchange of
dollars.

It’s so easy for a parent to reach
for some money or a piece of candy as a reward for good grades or extra effort.

But there are much better ways to show
gratitude and pride. The National PTA insists that “hugs, kisses, and
compliments are worth more than anything money can buy.”

In fact, some of the best incentives
don’t cost any money at all, but continue to reap rewards year after year.

You’d be surprised how much more
staying power hugs have, or pats on the back, smiles, or extra attention.

Reading together could be another
reward. It’s a gift that brings you close to your children.

Also, compliments have much more
impact when they are given face to face, or said to others loud enough so that
the child can hear them. It can also be effective to hold family testimonial
dinners for children.

The successes can cover any special
contribution — fixing the DVD player, drawing a comic book, helping someone in
your neighborhood, or meeting a goal.

It’s never too early to underscore
for children that many of the best things in life are not “things” at all, but
attitudes and actions that show kindness, concern, and appreciation.