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Sunday, November 11, 2012

Oh, the annoyance...

Yesterday I worked on a post, and then blogger was giving me issues, so I decided to save it, put it aside, and take a bubble bath instead. Tonight blogger is giving me EDITING issues...I can start a NEW post, but I can't work on the one I already started! This is where blogging kills me. I LOVE writing new posts, but the little issues that eat up all my writing time, with no product to show for them, irritate me to no end. I write to relax, not to become frustrated! The universe is clearly working against me.

Not a fan of technical difficulties.

That seems to fit with my last few days. I've been stressed out over various things, and I've had some little frustrations with the girls that are threatening to get the best of me.

Reagan is currently OBSESSED with being by my side constantly. It's the typical separation anxiety phase, but it's making it hard to do anything except hold her. She can crawl now, so even when I leave her on the family room floor playing happily with her sister, as soon as she senses I'm gone, she cries, looks for me, and makes a beeline for wherever I am. If I'm trying to cook and put her in the walker so she can hang out with me in the kitchen, she whimpers and scoots right over to me, holding up her arms. Adam tries to help, but if I'm anywhere she can see or hear me, she cries until mommy takes over. Yes, I can just wear her in the Ergo...and when I have to, I do. But she also WANTS to be moving and playing...just not without some kind of contact with me. I understand it's normal, but it's definitely wearing.

You are SO FAR AWAY from me!

It shows up at naptime too (oddly, NOT at night time, though I'm knocking on every piece of wood I can see now that I've said that). I'll lay her down as usual, and she'll immediately sit up, pull up, and cry for me to come back. Getting her down has become a three stage ordeal, and there are days it will take an hour to get her down for an hour nap...which makes her tired....which makes her clingy...which make her not want to nap...repeat until bedtime.

Madison has thrown herself into the mood swing phase of the terrible twos. One moment she's cheerful, chatty, and agreeable, the next moment she's run into the bathroom, slammed the door, and will sit on the floor with her head down (I thought we had until the teenage years before this happened). As for potty training, she'll be accident free for a day, then 3 consecutive accidents the next. Sometimes she's doing naughty things I thought we had put behind us, like coloring on her carpet, sometimes she's playing completely creatively and independently with her dolls, singing made up songs and running her baby through a full daytime routine. Sometimes she's a loving big sister who tries to share EVERYTHING (even inappropriate things) with Reagan, sometimes she doesn't even want Reagan playing with the baby toys. I realize she's just being...two. But that's wearing on me too. There's a lot of comforting, cleaning, and redirecting.

I'm trying very hard to stick to my cleaning schedule, stay organized, and cook dinner every night. Adam and I decided to see if we can go the next two weeks making meals solely from our pantry and freezer. It's a fun challenge, but it does mean that I have to do a bit more prep in the afternoons, and lately I'm falling further behind.

Then I realized I'm annoyed because my two year old has both knowledge of her emotions and the vocabulary where she can express them.

I'm annoyed because my eight month old has great motor skills.

I'm annoyed because my 2 year old is already (basically) potty trained.

I'm annoyed because I have a stocked pantry and freezer at my disposal.

I'm annoyed that my 8 month old is overly affectionate with me.

I'm annoyed because my children are hitting their developmental stages right on track.

I'm annoyed because I'm fortunate enough to stay home and get chores done during the day, rather than cramming them into the weekend or evenings.

I'm annoyed because I have my evenings free to write, I have things to write about, and I have people who want to read them.

Wow.

This morning Reagan woke up pre-dawn to eat. Afterward, I tried to get her back in the crib, but she was having NONE of it. I tried having Adam go in and give her back her binky, but she was having none of that either. We brought her in with us, and she curled right into me and feel asleep molded to my body. She did the same thing for her "third nap" today...she slept 45 minutes on me in the glider, where I was forced to relax and read a book on my phone instead of folding laundry (the horror). Ideal? Maybe not. But I enjoyed the snuggles from my peanut, who definitely won't be my peanut forever.

Time to enjoy each and every phase, even the frustrating ones, because they pass so quickly. And no matter what is going on, to count each and every blessing I'm lucky enough to have.

Messy? Sure, but they are happy and playing together!

Who knows, tomorrow Blogger may be completely back to normal and I'll get the post up that I've been working on. But my annoyance with Blogger forced me to reflect on my cranky mood and decide to be accepting. It forced me to have perspective.

Darn universe.

Tomorrow I'll be randomly choosing the winner of The Magic Word from all of you who follow me on Blogger or have liked my Facebook page and left a comment on the book review post! If you'd like a chance to win a signed copy of the book, make sure to enter by 9:00 pm tomorrow!

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