Tuesday, September 27, 2016

With the Cardinals losing on the evening of Set 15th, the Chicago Cubs won their first division title in 8 years and over last weekend clinched the best record in the National League just like in 2008.

With the White Sox not involved in spite of their hot start, my playoff rooting interest would usually default to teams that finish with the best regular season record since I believe that six months of excellence should not be spoiled over an unnecessarily long playoff system which in under less than ideal playing conditions way too often produces an undeserving champion.

Since 2001, 15 teams have won the NL pennant. This is the position those 15 teams would have finished in the regular season had there been no playoffs:

1st: 3 times
2nd: 3 times
3rd: 4 times
4th: 3 times
5th: 2 times

This is about the teams' record and not seed. The NL champ 2015 Mets were the 3rd seed but had the 5th best record in the National League.

Unlike 2008, this year's Cubs look like a championship ball club. They have three starters that are among the top seven (now six) in the league, a flexible, well-balanced powerful lineup, a dominating closer, and one of the top managers in the game as opposed to one of the other NL playoff teams which has one of the worst.

Do they deserve to win a title? Yes. Do I want them to win? NO FUCKING WAY!

I know it is 13 years later but I am still upset that the Cubs lost their composure in 2003 and would still not want to meet the fan whose ignorance led to the collapse as well as changing NFL history that following Sunday. (A topic covered in a previous post)

I am also not wanting one specific person to ever enjoy the reality of a Cubs title. In 2007 and last year, that person's enjoyment would have been spoiled by me winning money betting on them but due to the odds, that bet this year was not worth making. I have carried out scenarios in my head where upon winning a title, I purposely say or do something to destroy the moment and forever associate that person's moment with tears of pain rather than ones of joy.

I have made plans to avoid being in that position even though admitted deliberate actions taken against me in 2005 before and after I had my right knee scoped (on the day of the AJ dropped third strike game) would make doing that justified.

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

There are many places where being the madman can be beneficial if harnessed properly and I have always tried to create situations where I can unleash that aspect to make things better for me and occasionally others and some of my greatest accomplishments in competition happened with me being on the loose.

It does not always work. The same passion and drive that I harness to overcome whatever happens to me can harm others and myself as well. I am aware that many of my physical problems which eventually lead to doctor visits, physical therapy, and even surgery initially evolved with me pushing my body to the point where it starts to bend and then keep going until it breaks. For over 14 months, I have had to deal with elbow pain from doing that in disc golf. I am currently fighting my desire to play in a tournament on Sunday though I do not need the points to qualify next summer for the national amateur championship which I have been unable to play due to my injury this year and last.

My desire does not always create physical issues. It took a long time to realize that people at my company know that I am intellectually capable of doing a significantly more important job where I work but also that I am equally as capable of unleashing the madman in stressful situations and that I am a risk others are unwilling to take.

One of my ways of coping became food after someone in a situation at a con realized I had not eaten in 8 hours after I tossed a table. Of course treating stress with food created more of a need for food which helped worsen my weight issue. I am often scared to eat less worried about what I could do when hungry.

My instinct whenever I do something that hurts others is to try to help even if it is not required nor wanted thinking that I can solve the situation and make it better. Even when told to stop, I often can't and when it does not help, I then try even harder and when that does not work...

Physical damage to myself is easy for me to diagnose. Other things are not so easy for me to see unless told. I even fight my desire to try to help even after told to stop.

As with many things in my world, I have become stuck without a solution that would not upset whatever balance that exists within it.

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Though it was two weeks ago, I am finally getting around to this post since running a raffle has taken up much of my time.

Attendees: 180
Attendees who currently or once had a show on Dementia Radio: 18
Attendees who have walked from their residence to the Elk Grove Village Holiday Inn: 1
Attendees who were at an ALCON there in 2000 and or 2002: 20
Attendees who have had gastric surgery: 4
Times my car stalled in the 4.5 mile drive to FuMPFeST after a mechanic could not find an issue with it: 4
States people have travelled from to get to FuMPFeST: 17

Different musical acts with their own show: 14
Acts in the FuMP showcase: 5
Others who only joined artists on stage to sing: 12
Other music acts that were there: 7
Artists who performed under medical or physical duress: 2
People there who have or are part of a podcast: 6
Songs that I would have played during this year's "Mom, don't listen" show that were performed: 6

Artists who participated in Dumb Parody Ideas: 6
Fans who participated in Dumb Parody Ideas: 8
Events I missed part of due to getting food: 3
Different places I purchased food over 5 days: 12
Weight gained: 3lb