Sunday, May 25, 2014

Chemo update-Week 13 no treatment--5/20/14

Week 13—no treatment

It was somewhat frustrating to miss a second straight week
of treatment however it was important to understand why Angela was experiencing
a new symptom.I will admit that it was
a scary few days leading up to her doctor’s appointment on Tuesday the 20th.I fought the urge to believe that the cancer
had returned in a different form but couldn’t help but allow it to enter my
mind on occasion.The other battle that
I face each day is knowing that my fears are minor in nature compared to those
of my wife.The devil on one shoulder tells me that I’m human, have
human emotions that I’m allowed to express however the angel on my other
shoulder tells me that I need to stop being selfish & consider her fears.

So without going into a lot of detail the big news on
Tuesday was that the symptoms my wife was experiencing are the result of a non-cancer
related problem with her colon.I cannot
tell you enough the relief that I felt but once again, taking a step back, I
cannot tell you how relieved my wife must have felt when we received the
news.

Prior to this great relief I had the experience of once
again witnessing my wife laying in a hospital bed in an altered state.She was curled up in a ball covered in a
blanket mumbling unintelligible words. Tears rolled down my eyes as I thought deep
thoughts of worry & concern for her well-being. Victims of illness are not just those directly
affected but also those with whom they surround themselves & love.If, by chance, I lost this woman my world would effectively
end.

The message being delivered to us from above is that we are
stronger than what we thought.We can beat this but the this but there will
be many battles until the fight is over.The individual battles in our own
minds are probably the most difficult to win but if we communicate we can fight
together & win out.Internally, externally
& all around us it is difficult but I love my wife & we will not give
up.