Hunting the Artbag

Your humble narrator in all things Ass/Axe, The DB1, is in San Francisco for a wedding, but also to hunt the elusive and wily Artbag.

Yes, that post dot-com former Z-3 Roadster owning internet baby hipster tool. You know the kind. The one who mocked your lack of technical knowledge and bragged about their stock options, 2000-2002, only to go into a burned out and dazed shell after the crash.

With little left to do but get a real job and bitch about how much they “almost” cashed out with, they turned from DSL to hair gel. From wifi to ironic t-shirts. That said things like Free Paris.

Artbags.

The kind with ‘Zines about the nuances of Swedish death metal. Or where to find the best ginger bread cookie in Omaha.

Artbags get their own category in my book. And deservedly so.

I plan to spend the weekend making fun of their facial hair from a reasonable distance, then hitting on their girlfriends when they’re in the bathroom.