‘New Walk’ – My Midwifery Novel

Often when I write I think about a woman, maybe waiting for a train, with jeans and boots and long hair.

'New Walk' is burning a hole in her bag and she cannot wait to get settled in a seat and get reading again.

That person I’m writing for could be me or my sister or many of my friends.

I just want a few people to love this book. That’s what I’m after. That’s my goal.

Do you think that might be you?

Have a look at the prologue below and see.

New Walk, by Ellie Durant

‘A profoundly moving coming-of-age story, where midwifery, birth and the decisions life throws at us combine to shape a young woman’s life’. - Pinter and Martin, publisher

Prologue

Sunday, 5th August 2001

It’s my choice, I have a deep sense of rightness about that. I’m glad to be in a country where I can make this choice and I’m glad all the physical stuff, the pain and bleeding and everything at the end, was here at home. Despite the sadness, a bit of me is standing back and assessing the experience for anything that might be useful. I have a kind of morbid curiosity about the emotions and sensations.

This is not the kind of learning anyone would ever want to hear about, though. Even if a woman you were caring for had gone through the same thing, you could never tell her. God forbid you raised your hand in a lecture and talked about it in front of the cohort either.

It’s an hour or so before sunset and the temperature is dropping which I’m grateful for because digging is taking a bit of effort, the earth is dry and set and I’m sore. Despite everything being neglected, the garden is bright with the daisies and red asters that Mum planted. They come up year after year. The birds are talking to each other in different calls and my emotions are blowing around like the breeze.

I’m also thinking about how judgemental I can be. Even when Dad is hiding from me because he’s rolling his tenth spliff of the day and I want to wash his body warmer and feed him a healthy tea with green vegetables, or Ali is stalking around in Leicester in heels and an almost entirely theoretical miniskirt, they are surviving in their own ways.

I put my everything into this life. For years now I’ve been the passionate, responsible one, reading up on embryology in Mum’s old books, studying Spiritual Midwifery birth stories over and over until the cover came off, taking every opportunity to learn skills like blood pressure and resuscitation and how to listen. Midwifery is my distraction of choice and I’m proud of that.

But it’s also my obsession and underneath I’m not sure I’m coping. I get so angry sometimes. I got so busy lording it over my Dad and my sister that I’ve found myself here.

I lean the spade against the fence. Before I put the box into the ground I apologise out loud, standing there in my welly boots I’ve put on to dig the hole. I’m truly, deeply sorry.

I’m beginning to understand now. I’m not in control of life; no-one is. It never turns out the way you expect. You just make the best of things. This is not always a bad thing; it’s just a true thing.

Related

Tagged

50 Responses

I would love a review copy! I’m an avid reader and 3rd year student in New Plymouth, NZ. I began following your page after hearing about you from the midwives I was on placement with, and am so pleased I did!

Oh amazing Ange, it might be that review copies are for bloggers at this point but I’ll see what I can do – say Hi in New Plymouth for me, such a beautiful place to work and thanks for being interested!

Ellie, I’m so excited to read your book. The secret community was so important to me as a student midwife and now as a newly qualified midwife I continue to love posting and commenting in there. Fiction was a huge driving force for me going into midwifery too, and I love that you’ve combined the two in this book. I feel like Chloe’s character will really resonate with me. I found it difficult at times to navigate the system as a passionate student midwife. I wrote a few blog posts on my journey to working in private practice as a newly qualified midwife which were really well received. I’d love to read and review your book!

Awesome Sunae, so glad to hear the secret community has been helpful! I agree fiction is for showing us what’s possible as well as just for pleasure. I know, your writing is valuable and I’ll see if I can get back to you re review copies – lots of requests coming in but it’d be great 🙂 Thanks!

I would love to review a copy !! I begin my midwifery course at DeMontfort in March 2019 I’m a Leicester girl so it’s incredible to see such talent on our streets in something I’m so passionate about. Can’t wait to read this Ellie xx

I would LOVE to preview a copy. I was a birth doula for many years. As a Canadian we do not have a lot of midwives yet….although it is slowly coming. I had dreamed of midwife births with my own children, who are now 30 and 28, but in rural Canada such a thing was unheard of, and there were none that i could find….remember the days way before google?? Probably not. At one point when I was younger, I thought it was a career I would like to persue….. but there again, I had a young family, and there was no available training anywhere near me…and no such thing as online training yet. So I was content being a doula…when I was the only doula for miles.
Flash forward to now… I am 50, a retired doula and still love to read all midwife and birth related novels and books. It makes me happy knowing that so many young women have the opportunities now that were not available to me.

Wonderful! Our gang, at All4Maternity, would love to review it and write a blog about it. Let’s share, share, share. You’re amazing and it’s so brilliant to have a modern fiction exploring midwifery issues. Go Ellie!

Well done Ellie, this sounds amazing! I loved the prolouge and would be happy to read and review the book on the blog I share with some friends! https://www.fromlondontobrighton.com/ Either way I can’t wait to read it, I’ll be reading it alongside starting my midwifery degree!

I’d love to receive a preview copy!
It’s taken me a long time to get a place in midwifery, I start September!!
Jumping hurdles of being a carer for my husband and looking after 3 kids whilst studying an access and previous degree, just keeping going some days by holding onto my hopes and dreams for a better future.
I’m proof that if you want something enough you’ll get there in the end, I think it’s great you’ve wrote a modern midwifery book addressing such prevalent issues!
Welldone! xx

Ellie. Your strength to follow this path and pave the way for women like me, is awe inspiring. Thankyou for getting me this far and continuing to motivate me. I hope I make it as far as you. You are the best x

Wow. I would love a copy of this, this is the type of books I enjoy to read and can stick to. The story sounds like it’s about all of us, as aspiring midwives. Ellie inspires me and I can’t wait to read more of her work, I begin my 4 year degree in september at uwe. Exciting year this is!

Congratulation Ellie! If I could review a copy, I would review the book for North American midwifery colleagues and fans of Call the Midwife. I am currently a contributor to the US public broadcasting system blog- Modern Day Midwives in conjunction with the US broadcasting of the British drama.

Awesome Ellie. Can’t wait to read your novel. Your commitment and passion for midwives worldwide is truly inspiring. Thankyou for your honesty and time supporting soon to be midwives and current midwives. Your Guide to becoming a student midwife has given me confidence to pursue my long term goal to becoming a midwife in Australia. Thankyou. Xx

Sounds great, would love a read of it. Just starting my midwife journey, motivated by my 7 year old and my 3 angel babies. I love reading the stories of midwives and they are hard to come by. Congratulations on your achievement of putting pen to paper xx

Leah first I want to say how sorry I am you have had a rocky road with your own babies and thinking of your and your 4 little ones. I don’t have the right words. Thanks for your good wishes and sending all my best wishes for becoming a midwife xx

Hi Ellie! I would love a chance to read and review your book – I’m a third year student midwife, currently on maternity leave with my first baby <3 I've been feeling quite disheartened with midwifery lately, and I stories such as this always help me to feel more able to power through! I do have a blog, but not much of a following..!

I’m fine! It’s a bit of a long story (isn’t it always?) but shortened – bullying, lots of staff off with stress, lots of staff leaving & my own birthing experience was bad. So, yeah. My blog is over at http://www.bifrostphotography.com/blog!

Hi! I am student of midwifery from Czech republic. I am following your page on facebook for maybe a year and I cant wait to read your book! I loved Call the midwife and I think I will love your book too. I would like a review copy as well please. 🙂

Hi Ellie! I was an onder student midwife until 2016, and I have followed your blog and Facebook group intensively. My internships were sometimes very hard because of the bullying (Belgium). So your good work was of great comfort for me, and I will never forget that. Although I am not a qualified midwife (because of severe illness just before graduation) I stil feel myself very connected to midwifery. I really love your style of writing (as I am a writer myself) so I would very much like to receive a spare preview copy. I wish you all the best and keep on writing!!

Wow! Thank you so much for writing this book! I can’t wait to read it! I am a practicing midwife and teach part time at a university training the future midwives I love to read them real life stories it helps with understanding. Also helps them to realise how amazing this job is! Sending you a huge congratulations from South Africa!

This looks amazing Ellie and I can’t wait to read it! I am not actively blogging though I keep intending to do so again so not a reviewer right now but I will be 37 weeks when the book comes out so I can plan for it to be my induction ward or post natal snuggle with new born reading !