What are people saying about The Pathway to Love:

“Insightful, practical, heartfully and psychologically sound, The Pathway to Love provides the steppingstones to creating genuine love in your life. It is a must-read for those who value honesty, authentic commitment to self and other, and appreciate relationship as a vehicle to self-actualization.”

You will wonder at times how she knew about you and a particular significant other because she seems to describe you and the relationship to a T. And, when you read the last page you will wish you had read it years and a number of relationships earlier.

Irene Conlan

I have read other books on this topic which spoke to me... This book, which I got in the Kindle version, pulled it all together for me--the biology, personal values, self identity, the human quest for belonging and intimacy. The book... brought to me great understanding. I wish I had ordered the paper version with the workbook. I ended up going back and ordering it.

Paula Markgraf Katz

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I don’t know about you but when I feel worn out, depleted, or needing to withdraw and replenish, I love to curl up with a warm cozy blanket. It makes me feel comforted and protected, as if nothing can hurt me from the outside world. It allows me to get replenished and soothed. A warm blanket goes a long way. And it doesn’t take much time before I feel ready to go back into the world feeling energized and secure—secure in knowing that my warm blanket is waiting for me at home, ready to provide the kind of comfort I seek when the need arises once again. My blanket is a good friend. It knows just how to wrap around me and provide the support I seek.
A good relationship works the same way. A good relationship is like a warm blanket.

I was walking down the street one day when an elderly couple caught my eye. They were holding hands and still looked at each other with loving affection. The husband even stole a kiss from his “girl” as they walked into the ice cream shop. I was so drawn to the couple that I decided to stop in the ice cream shop myself. At some point we struck up a conversation. They told me they had been married for 60 years. I asked them what their secret was. Here is what they told me.

When you are in a relationship, it becomes easy to rely on the comfort of the partnership. Feeling connected to your significant other can create an illusion that your security and sense of comfort comes from the relationship, not from your “center.” When you’ve been in a long-term relationship this dynamic can become so engrained that being separated from your significant other will create unnecessary anxiety. If this is the case, you are at risk for being in a dysfunctional, dependent relationship that causes stagnation and toxicity.

Being married is challenging. It is designed to be challenging. Keeping a marriage healthy requires attention and care. Our lives are so busy and so demanding that it becomes easy to take for granted that our primary relationship is in place and will still be there when we have time to re-engage.
It is important to remember that your relationship is a living, breathing entity in and of itself. It has its own developmental needs. If ignored, it will become stagnant. When that occurs, your relationship no longer has any vitality and nourishment to provide you and your spouse. It’s no wonder that married couples can feel bored and empty in their marriages. It’s not that the marriage is necessarily “bad”; it may simply be that the marriage is malnourished.

Life is hard enough without having to live it by someone else’s set of standards. Some people are more “black and white” thinkers while others are more “gray and fuzzy.” Most of us simply try to think our way out of the anxiety that comes with living. From the moment we are born, someone or something is telling us what we should think, how we should dress, what we should value, how we should act, and who we should love.
There are good reasons for this. It is far easier to bring order to chaos and control to mayhem when we have
clear rules with clear boundaries. This is not all bad. If you look back in history, the rules may have changed from one generation to another, but the basic concept of knowing what is expected and living accordingly has been consistent throughout. This approach to life has its merits. It allows us to live communally in a common culture. It is part of our DNA. But it is not the only way.