I think men (in the US anways), tend to associate anything to do with their ass as being gay if it is being played with. There is a fear, as illogical as one can be, that by enjoying fun through the ass the act will make one gay by extension. I discovered my Pspot when I was 29, and before that time there was no way I would have considered putting something back there, nor would I have been too keen to have a girl put her finger there. Now of course that is a completely different story.
As Scott rightly points out, this of course cuts both ways. Most women, in my experience, have their own issues with trying anything anal. Interestingly, I have found that those who are the most vehemently opposed to assplay seem to get off the most when assplay is properly introduced at some point. I think for women (and this is jut me postulating), there are a couple of different things going on. On one level I think women associate anal sex with being a slut or a dirty girl. Society says this is bad, just as society has long that being gay is bad, so therefore anything anal is bad for men too. Perhaps more important is the power of the spoken word. More often than not, women have an experience with anal that involves their boyfriend or guy they are having sex with jamming their dick in their ass. Some people like this, but most really need some teasing in the first place to make things pleasurable. In any event, horror stories about the time girls had painful anal sex dominate the discussion, and, as a result, you have a pretty effective impediment to women wanting anything to do with anal through these tales.

@QT pt. #1... I understand all of this, and my point was not to make any assumptions about gay men. Your guy doesn't like having his ass played with, so be it. I know plenty of people though who won't even get a prostate exam because they think it is "gay". Obviously if you are coming from that line of thinking, there is no way you will ever enjoy anything anal, and that is of course fine.

There's a lot of variables there, and no simple answer. It's pretty much like any sexual act, meaning some people love it while others hate. Some are turned on by it, while some are grossed out. Knowing your borders as a couple is about the best thing one can do.

my Hubby loves his bum played with. I had a huge mental block because I kept thinking is he gay?? I know that was crazy of me, but my brain just thought that. Once I came to grips with the fact that he likes this and it does not mean anything at all other then he ejoys it, I was fine. But it took a while. The biggest thing that helped me was being here on EF and seeing the posts , reviews, ect on anal play. Through all of them I came to realize this is ok, it is not weird, he is not gay, and maybe I will like it too. Ef has really helped me to be more open minded to trying out new things.

Some men love their ass played with and others don't Why? And it's not a gay thing!!

My hubby loves it. He is certainly straight as an arrow, and what does that have to do with it? His butt has the same nerves as mine and we BOTH enjoy the sensual, and powerful feel of having all those nerves stimulated. Furthermore, HE has a prostate. I LOVE anal and cannot imagine having it feel even MORE amazing, but HE has an organ back there to make it so!!! Lucky guy!!!! I use my talented digits to help him with it any time I can too!!!!