And I Don’t Feel Any Different

With apologies to Death Cab For Cutie, stealing a part of their song is a very lazy way to start off the new year. Ah, well it is the new year and I really don’t feel any different.

Everyone seemingly starts off every new year by saying “This year is gonna be different goddamnit! I’m gonna do all the stuff. All of it!”. It is, generally, bullshit. That’s why the gyms are full of fat people on the day after New Years because by god, they’re going to DO IT! Yessiree bob. Gonna do it. This year. After a week or so you never see them again.

So I’ll join the crowd and play the game. Follows are a list of resolutions I make for the year ahead:

Get a job. No more lazy bum lying around on the sofa eating bonbons. (A bit of truth here, I hate bonbons.)

Lay off the booze man. We’re already doing pretty good, just need to do a little better. It’s not like we’re total drunks, we just like a bottle of wine of an evening. There’s nothing wrong with water.

Meat is right out. Chicken doesn’t count as meat, right?

That’s all I’ve got for now because I need to go have some bonbons and wine.