If you find out they’re dating someone new, you should never, EVER bring it up.

This includes, but is not limited to:

“Oh, you’ve moved on pretty darn QUICK.”“I hope you’re oh, so happy with Tonya.”“Congratulations.”“Tonya’s a total slut by the way.”“How dare you date my high school history teacher.”“You’ll never be as happy with him as you were with me.”

Those look bitter, unhinged and inappropriate when I type them out, right?

If you find out your ex is dating someone new, do yourself and them a favor and leave it alone.

It might or might not be a rebound, but nothing you say is going to push it in either direction.

Whether they’re currently talking to you or not — giving them a hard time about anything about the way they communicate with you WILL NOT make them want to do more.

Frankly, after a breakup, they don't owe you anything.

This is true whether they were the one to break up with you or not.

That’s why when you’re communicating with them, you’ve got to think “positive reinforcement” because if you give them a hard time about anything, they’re going to keep associating you with negative feelings.

Seeing your name pop up on their phone is ALREADY anxiety producing.

Don’t say or do anything to make it worse.

Consider going no contact for awhile before doing anything.

8. Trying to make THEM jealous.

This includes, but is not limited to, making statements where you’re trying to make them feel jealous, guilty, ashamed, really anything where you’re attempting to make them feel a certain way.

Keep in mind that trying to make them feel worse about your breakup (and by extension, you) doesn’t make them more likely to respond to you next time.

9. Anything else you wouldn’t want to see on the cover of the NY Times.

If you would look pathetic and irrational in public, don’t text it in private.

Certainly, some things between two people are meant to stay private, but after a breakup, all bets are off.

If you’re in doubt, don’t send it out!

If you have men become distant at pull away from you, get to the bottom of it with a free copy of Elizabeth's book Why Men Lose Interest and daily email series. In the book she explains the most common reasons why guys become distant and pull away from you and what you can do to make this stop immediately.

This article was originally published at Digital Romance Inc. Reprinted with permission from the author.