As Charles Starmer-Smith prepares for the Etape, he wrestles with an old
cycling dilemma: should he shave his legs or not?

I had never noticed it before. Perhaps I have been concentrating too hard on the road ahead as I've pedalled across the highways and byways of Britain, but it was only when I entered the world of cycling sportives (those organised road events that take place every Sunday all across the country) that I noticed the androgynous look of the other pedal pushers around me. If the hairless, polished, prepubescent legs of the 40 year-old man standing next to me were an eye-opener, then a stroll into the changing rooms where I found groups of hirsute men lovingly rubbing warm-up balm or sun tan lotion onto freshly-waxed legs was faintly alarming. I looked down at my own hairy legs and suddenly felt strangely inadequate. And a second later, mightily relieved that I had not succumbed to this emasculating process (perhaps it was because I would look like a pasty, podgy cousin of some little-known Spanish professional).

But shaving is a serious business and it is everywhere: there are internet forums discussing the best ways to shave: Wet or dry? Wax or pluck? Electric or blades? Epilette or Laser? There are even demonstration videos on the art of male leg shaving on YouTube and you can bet that under the power suits of businessmen in boardrooms across Britain are pairs of freshly polished pins. But why? I have done my research – leafing through magazines and books and trawling through blogs and websites in search of the truth – and the answers can be summed up with five ‘A’s:

1) Aero-dynamism. Utter baloney. Even professional indoor track cyclists admit it only offers a minuscule time saving, if at all. For if it did, with the real prospect that I might miss the cut off time to complete the Etape du tour this summer, I'd be out with the Bic razor in a flash.

2) Absorption. This makes some sense. Certainly with the copious amounts of Deep Heat I have seen being slathered on by cyclists, the skin needs all it help it can get to absorb it and getting caught up in the hairs certainly does not help.

3) Accident. As any cyclist knows, road burns and grazes are a constant worry and a hairless leg helps prevent infection. It also avoids the yelps when tape is later removed from the bandages or plasters. Others say it is simply more comfortable when they ride (and even more so when shaved legs come into contact with cotton sheets).

4) Assimilation. It's the old herd mentality: "it's tradition", say cyclists, "everyone in my team does it"; "having hairy legs at a cycling event is like turning up at cricket match in a white shell suit"; "it's a commitment to my sport": well, it is certainly that.

5) Act. This explanation, which appeared on the message board of Bikeforums.net, a popular cycling website, is my clear favourite: "a guy I have ridden with several times has the most interesting reason that I've heard yet. He is a female impersonator. When he first told me, I was sure he was kidding, but he was dead serious ... the cycling benefits are just the icing on the cake for him."

Of course, some of these explanations are logical, but the truth is that shaving is really all about aesthetics. Whatever their level, most cyclists want to look the part; they spend a small fortune on the latest gear, clothing and bikes; they want to feel like Armstrong (even if "legs weak" might be more apt) and if that means shaving their legs, then so be it. As Matt Seaton wrote in The Escape Artist: "No one likes to make a direct admission of the fact but, secretly for all, shaving one's legs has above all an aesthetic dimension: it is simply how the racing cyclist should look."

All this leads on to the really vexing question. Where do they stop? Shaving, that is. At the knee? If strange Lycra tan lines are not bad enough, will there be thousands of men wearing hair shorts on beaches this summer? At the thigh? Speedos, then, are out of the question (not that they should have been considered in first place). But enough already.

So have I been converted? Matt Seaton goes as far as saying that "only someone who is willing to look like rank novice, a complete outsider or an utter loser, would turn up to race with hair legs." Perhaps it is because I am only there to complete not compete, but come July 18, when I line up on the start line of the Etape, I will be one of those outsiders, prepared to stride out to the cricket square in a gloriously shiny white shell suit. For the hair is here to stay.

Charles Starmer-Smith is training for the Etape in France. He and his Etape team are raising money for the Julian Starmer-Smith Fund. To sponsor them or make a donation see www.justgiving.com/jssfund