Every now and again, you may experience an epiphany. This may be a big, monumental boom or even a small-scale flash. Oprah calls them "aha moments"; while Arsenio said they are "things that make you go hmmm". I call these experiences "WHOAments".

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Sunday, June 15, 2014

Before Lorenzo and I married, we had discussions around
combining our two families and our expectations surrounding parenting. Lorenzo
had a teenage daughter from a previous relationship and I had a six year old
and a toddler, also from a previous relationship.

Having witnessed the “hands off” relationship between Jazmyn
and her biological father, my mother also had her reservations and concerns
about how Lorenzo would parent the girls. She wanted to make sure that my next
mate would treat me and her granddaughters right. In her words, she wanted
Jazmyn to finally experience being ‘a daddy’s girl’.

Ultimately, we decided that together we would raise our daughters
in a Christian home, preparing them to become virtuous women. Lorenzo’s daughter
would become my daughter and my daughters would become Lorenzo’s. We would
raise each of our girls as though they were our biological children.

Once we married, due to the physical distance between us and
her age, my “parenting” of Denae was somewhat limited. Often times she would call me for motherly
advice and to get my opinion on a range of topics. When she came for her
regular visits, I would finally get the opportunity to love on her in person. I
loved it. I was always happy to see her come and was equally sad when it was time
for her to leave us. Although she is in college now and has “left the nest”, so
to speak, she is my oldest daughter. My face lights up whenever I talk about
her.

On the flip side, because I have full custody of Jazmyn and
Kayla, Lorenzo’s interaction with them is on a daily basis. For most men, it is
a huge responsibility to raise another man’s child fulltime. In fact, I have
come in contact with men, both biological fathers and stepfathers, who shun
their responsibilities by either running for the hills or quietly sitting back
while watching the mother raise “her” children, only assisting if or when they
are called upon.

In true fashion, from the day we married to now, Lorenzo has
stepped up to the plate!True to his
word he has treated our three daughters equally. They are all his daughters and
he is their Daddy.

When they are not feeling well, it isn’t to me that the
girls run. It is to Lorenzo. He uses his expertise to comfort and soothe them. He
is also usually the one that coordinates their day care when they are out of
school. It is Lorenzo who fixes their lunches. It is Lorenzo who helps Jazmyn
with her homework, making sure she understands and completes it. Lorenzo makes
sure he spends quality time with both girls, making sure they are taken care
of. Likewise, Lorenzo is also involved in correcting and disciplining the girls.
The list goes on and on of all the ways he is involved in our daughters’ lives.

Most people who don’t know our history automatically assume
that Jazmyn and Kayla are Lorenzo’s biological children. He is just that in
tuned with them.

To give you an example of just how involved he is, there was
one occasion when Lorenzo went out of town for a few days on a business trip.
Once Jazmyn realized that he would be gone, her first question was, “Who is
going to take care of us?” The “us” was not only her and her sister, but
included me as well. All I could do was laugh. Yet, her question was a
confirmation of answered prayers and a true testament of just how blessed we
all are to have Lorenzo Thompson in our lives.

To quote my Grandmother, “Lorenzo takes care of his girls...”

Raising someone else’s child means that not only do they not
have your DNA or genes; it means that they may also exhibit traits and
behaviors that are foreign to you and your spouse. It can be challenging.
However, Lorenzo has told me that in spite of these challenges, he knows that
he can’t sit back idly because he has been given an assignment – directly from
God – to train, teach and guide our family, and as such, he will never slack on
his job just because it would be, seemingly, “easier” to sit back in the wings.
Knowing that I am not alone in raising our daughters makes my heart warm.
Knowing that I have a participating partner is comforting.

“The Lord has blessed me because of
you”

Genesis 30:27 TLB

This Father’s Day, I would like to salute and celebrate my
children’s FATHER, Lorenzo Thompson!

I also dedicate this WHOAment to all of the men who are
raising children who are not biologically yours!