I am away in Newmarket. Lots sort of going on out here. My Mom bought a house in Barrie on Friday/ Saturday. I have only seen it from the street so far. Kind of having a bad/ interesting day today. Soon we are leaving to talk to the siblings (mine), have spaghetti dinner and play canasta. More going on than I want to talk about even inside my own head. Family can really kill you, suck you dry and make you feel it’s all your fault. I’m not on the sunny side of optimism right now. You couldn’t guess though, right? 🙂

I think I will be back on my own computer at some point over the weekend. I have some of my tax refunds back and am already looking at the computer bundles for sale. I really want a bundle as I am looking forward to a new thin monitor rather than the big clunker hoarding my desk space now. August is the best time to get a deal but I don’t know if I can hold out that long. Silly not to and yet, when you really are looking forward to something this much, it’s hard to wait.

Leigh has tagged me as a thinking blogger. Thanks Leigh. I will pull together a list of five blogs too. Blogs that make you come back to see if what they wrote the first time was who they really are. I know which blogs make me laugh but they aren’t the same as those which make me think. Though smart humour is the best of all kinds. Sometimes it’s great to find a site that stirs around the much just lurking in your brain. I really like a blog that gives me ideas.

So that is how things are going, pretty much sideways. It is possible I will be moving as soon as June. Not a lot of time left for Toronto. I’d stay if I could find something that would pay rent, groceries and bus fare with a bit left over for spending on non-essentials to prevent cabin fever and insanity in general. Sometimes retail therapy is needed even though I scoff at being a shopping grrl. I shop for new bed linens, books and other good things. I need more of those things about as much as I need a huge zit on the end of my nose. (I just got rid of one).

I don’t exactly know why but I wore my old wedding ring when I went out today. I just went out for coffee, a Tim Horton’s pit stop to get away from cabin fever. But I picked it out of the jumble of things I have strung up hanging from my computer. It was on a string which had another ring my Mom and I found in a purse at GoodWill, also a rock (red jasper) which I bought at a Pagan shop in Newmarket. I had to cut the string to get the ring off. I don’t remember tying so many knots in it but I did use a slippery, silky string – the kind that come undone easily. I wouldn’t like to lose the ring and yet I didn’t think I’d wear it again. Still here we are… both of us lonely… blab blah… I know there’s a song like that.

So I wore the ring. Maybe I was feeling lonely. I know I’m not missing my ex and I don’t want to get back together with him. I haven’t lived a life where I want to go back and try much of anything again. Once is enough. If I can’t make it work the first time I don’t see the need to give it a second chance to blow up on me. I guess that doesn’t include everything, but a lot of things.

Anyway, I wore the ring. I think I’m just missing being married, having someone to come home to, someone to listen to when things are too silent and someone to bug when I feel like bugging someone. It’s not fair being alone all the time. I like it, some of the time. I couldn’t stand being one of those attached twins though I guess if that was all you knew you wouldn’t know anything else you only know what you’ve been living. Maybe that’s why I like being alone sometimes cause I’ve been alone a lot.

This is becoming pretty wimpy and pittiful. I just thought it was interesting about the ring. It feels really clunky on my finger. Yet I liked having it there. I haven’t taken it off yet, just for a moment or two to slide it around and take another look at that hunk of gold looking metal. My ring is a gold band with 4 itty bitty diamond chips across the front. They are so small they could be glass and I wouldn’t know. I leave it and just assume they are diamonds cause that’s what they are supposed to be.

What did you do with your ring, if you are divorced? Did you keep it, lose it or chuck it out somewhere? Maybe you had kids to give it to. I just have me. Maybe the ring was just bored tied up to my monitor for all these years. I would get bored if it had been me. Luckily I have legs to wander off.

Happy Tuesday, it’s coming. Garbage day here. I think this time I will actually bestir myself early and get the bag out in lots of time. I can’t really go out for breakfast but I could go out for coffee and just smell other people having breakfast out. That’s almost as good. Graham says the insurance money should be here before the end of the month. I will treat myself to a breakfast out then or maybe Swiss Chalet for dinner. I love the smell of that chicken though I don’t actually order it when I’m there. 😀

MATERIALS: Four ply worsted weight yarn….any combination of five dark colors and four light colors (You can use fewer colors if you want and just repeat colors within in the block); size I crochet hook.

SIZE: 8″ square

GAUGE : 7 sc = 2″

Note: The side of the work facing you as you work Row 1 and Row 3 of each band will be the right side of the piece; To eliminate having to weave in yarn ends after each square is finished, work them in as you crochet.

PATTERN FOR BLOCK: CENTER SQUARE:

With first dark color, chain 4.Row 1 Sc in second chain from hook and in each chain across (3sc(; chain 1, turn.Row 2-3: Work in even sc (3sc); chain 1 turn. Before working final yarn-over of last sc in Row 3, cut A and attach B to complete stitch and turning chain.

BAND NO 1:Rows 1-2: With Color B, work even in sc (3sc); chain 1 and turn.Row 3: Work even in sc (3sc); chain 1, turn sideways.

BAND NO 2:Row 1 Pick up and work 6 sc across side of Color B and Color A center square; chain 1, turn.Row 2: Work even in sc (6sc); chain 1, turn.Row 3: Sc in each of the first 5 sc; sc in lastsc, cutting Color B before wokring final yarn-over and attaching Color C to complete stitch (6sc); chain 1, turn sideways.

BANDS NO 3-16: Continue in the same fashion with the number of sc increasing by 3sc in each Band (BAND NO. 16 has 27 sc). Each color is used for 2 bands and you must alternate between light and dark colors in order to get the log cabin effect. Bands 1,2,5,6,9,10,13,14 are light colors. Bands 3,4,7,8,11,12,15,16 are dark colors. Center square should be dark color also. You can use all kinds of different colors to use of leftover yarn or use dark and light shades of the same color and use the same colors a couple times within one block.

I thought I’d have everything sorted out, organized and ready for a massive update today. But no.

Do you ever wish you could delete everything and start fresh? Like playing Carmageddon, my favourite car racing/ demolition/ dog and cow killing game. In Carmageddon you just hit the Insert button on your keyboard and your car is magically transported back into the upright position. Of course, it’s still dented, spewing engine oil and dripping with entrails… but, it’s not flying out of control, through the air to land on something hard and crash and burn you into oblivion.

I would like a magical Insert button for thatgrrl.ca. But, no. I will just have to figure it all out with the brain cells I have left.

But first, I’m getting out of the house. I’ve been caged up for at least three days now. Cabin fever is making me do odd things and have strange thoughts about… well I won’t tell you lest those white vans pull into the driveway again. I do not like their fashion style at all. How’s a grrl it itch her nose in that jacket?

Thanks for the review, BJB 🙂 Your link about the innocent prisoners was good, something I can sink my mind into as I feel strongly about capital punishment.

Funny that your daughter’s birthday is today, my Dad’s birthday is today too. I posted a little memorial thing to my blog. Now I’m about to go out for dinner, in his honour of course. Not just cause I’ve been cooped up all day and have a bad case of cabin fever. 😉