What's On Tonight: Bash's Mom Wants to Sex You Up

Franklin & Bash (TNT) – Tonight’s episode features Jane Seymour as Bash’s mom, basically reprising her ravenous older woman role from Wedding Crashers and hitting on every non-Zack Morris male on the show. Very few things in the world make this much sense, so it’s probably best if we just move along and don’t ask questions.

NBA Finals (ABC) – The Miami Heat go to Oklahoma City for Game 1 of the NBA Finals. I don’t talk a lot about sports here because Uproxx already has a very fine sports site (live discussion here), but please know that I have a number of feelings about LeBron James’s hairline and James Harden’s beard that I would be happy to share with you if we ever meet up over a beer. You won’t get a word in. Also, you’re buying.

American Ninja Warrior/America’s Got Talent (NBC) – I vote we combine these two shows and make “America’s Most Talented Ninja.” Ninjas over-singing classic love songs, eight-member ninja dance troupes, ninjas farting into a fishbowl or whatever the hell else passes for talent on television these days, and so on. There we go. I freed up an hour of primetime programming. Now about my pitch for “Lobster Cops.” If they don’t close cases fast, they’ll all be in hot water!

No show should have the word “Warrior” in the title that doesn’t actually have combat. Ninja warrior should involve actual fights. Deadliest Warrior should have actual samurai fighting vikings.

Also, my opinion of Daniel Tosh is that he is indeed a douche, but that I still find him funny. I don’t like or respect him as a person, but I laugh despite myself. So… I am the problem, much like the @holes who complain about the Kardashians and then watch their show.

I like Tosh, but agree with a lot of his critiques (most of them concern his show). I think the smugness is part of his WASPiness, which he’s totally embraced as part of his schtick. I don’t get the arrogance claims, because he’s constantly embarrassing himself.

Any comic bold enough to discuss racism or make it part of their act gets my respect. Tosh tends to go the racist route in the name of comedy, not in the vein of an actual racist like Michael Richards, but like Eddie Murphy, Chris Rock or Dave Chappelle before him. The only kind of racial humor can’t be self deprecating, although it’s the safest.