I note you don’t have any democracy in your inventory. That product’s just for export, right? Here in New Zealand, they export all our best produce and just leave the dodgy stuff for domestic consumers.

Tubularsock, I was going to do all my holiday shopping at your grand palace of free enterprise. But now … after Thursday’s surfeit of family fun, I think I’ll give my relatives IOU’s, if anything, and say the hell with it. But I will order an extra case of rage for myself so I won’t run out before January. I’d wait for the after-xmas markdowns, but you could be out of stock by then — better safe than sedated, this time of year! – Linda

So Tubularsock has gleaned from your comment, Linda that the family fun-feast turned out as you had predicted. Yet knowing full well the outcome before to traversed the terrane you now wish to withhold festive gifts for them for doing what they do so well.

Tubularsock understands completely from vast experience. And that is why Tubularsock has set aside a small quantity of bags of I HATE YOU MORE THAN I DID LAST YEAR.

This special limited product can be yours and shipped immediately in festive gift wrapped Colombia hemp bags. Just place your order now!

Tubularsock is sorry to inform you but RAGE is currently on back order due to the huge outpouring for that specific product. Your order has been placed and processed but the delay will increase your feeling for the product.

If for some reason you need a rush-of-rage Tubularsock has provided a “hot-line” to call and contact one of Tubularsock’s staff to talk with you by putting you on hold. And repeating via a taped message of poor music and the consent refrain of “Have-a-nice-day”. Thank you.

Tubularsock, Sigh. I know, I know!! What the hell else did I expect etc. Sometimes things have just got to be, loathe them or not.
Not sure I hate my relatives any MORE than last year but … okay sure, gimme a double order of that special-reserve production! It’s sure to be a top seller this year, guaranteed to fit and never go out of style. Sure to please? Maybe not. Not exactly the point!
Thanks for the heads-up re your customer service crew! I’d expect no less … a subtle reminder of my place in the power structure! And why it’s always a joy doing business with you. – Linda

Well since the season of giving is upon us I’d like to order an entire truckload of hypocrisy for all of our hardworking elected terrorists in DC … i was seriously thinking of sending the whole truckload to those idiot reptoxicons, but then I realized there really isn’t any difference between the reps and demoduds so I figured I’d do the thoughtful thing and send them both a shitoad … uh, er that’s a TRUCKload, of what embodies both parties!

Why are you not selling bags of “Fuck You!” I am seriously out of that and I need some like last fucking year, man! Get with it. You’re either in business or you’re not. You’re supposed to keep this capitalism thing going; full steam ahead. No excuses for running out of shit, or “it’s on back order.” If you’re open fer business, ya need to have yer shit together. And now, I’ll have to take my business elsewhere. I thought I could always count on YOU!

But seriously, I love this one! I’ve been on the floor laughing over the comments! However, I do need some serious bags of “Fuck You!” Let me know if you get ’em in! Also, I could sure use some bags of “Fuck you! You lying shit!” Thanks in advance for your help in obtaining the items I need.

Oh wow, Shelby, I thought we just naturally produced all the fuck-you we might need, as a normal hormonal response to life in this great country. Is there some problem, something not yet known, patented, monopolized, modified and marketed by our corporate benefactors to avert this yawning dearth of fuck-you? This could spell the end of civilization as we know it.

Well Linda, ‘civilization’ as we know it is ‘fucked’ anyway; at least that’s what I’m seeing. The problem is see, every time I am compelled to say “Fuck you!”, there just ain’t enough “oomph!” behind it; not enough bark to my bite and I just thought that Tubularsock here, could sell me some “Fuck You!” with “OOMPH!” I mean, I’m just not getting it done! My vocal chords have been strained beyond their capacity and they need a little help, hence my plea to Tubularsock to commence with the selling of “Fuck you!” and “Fuck you! You lying shit!”

You know I have my reputation to consider and if it is found that I am sadly lacking in my ability to say “Fuck You!” like I mean it, well then, there goes my stellar reputation for being a hotheaded, ass kicking, “take no prisoners,” vulgar, aggressive, “tough as nails”, virago. And I can’t have that!

This rebel with a cause has just got to have her shit together and I’m just trying to stay on top of my game Linda. And that means that sometimes, I need back up! LOL! Thanks Linda! You’re always looking out for us! And us viragos and rebels surely appreciate it. That’s more than I can say for Tubularsock since his ’empire’, these days, is just not up to snuff!

Shelby, thank you for sending in your request for FUCK YOU. Tubularsock regrets to inform you that the price has gone way up and this new batch is selling quickly.

However for a much more reasonable price Tubularsock can hook you up with some of the NEW NEVER BEFORE TESTED Monsanto GMO FUCK YOU. Yes, Tubularsock knows that there is always a backlash when a new almost safe product hits the market but Tubularsock has contracted with Monsanto and gotten a deep discount on GMO FUCK YOU.

Of course Tubularsock will be passing this savings on to YOU!

As for your comments attacking Tubularsock’s business model and lack of stocking well, Tubularsock feels that your RAGE about this was a direct result of Tubularsock’s RAGE product and was produced from a “contact-RAGE” from standing near Linda.

That being the case Tubularsock feels that payment is due from you for your “contact-RAGE” to keep you in good standing with TUBULARSOCK EMPORIUM OF GOODS, Ltd.

If you have any questions please contact Tubularsock’s customer service and “Have a Nice Day”.

LMAO!! Ahem! Uh…Tubularsock, I don’t won’t no GMO “Fuck You!” I’d be dead before I could get “Fuck!” out! What are you trying to do? Kill me! You put a hit out on me? If you have, you’re a ‘dead’ man! Remember, I know Vinnie too. I’m in real good with Linda’s uncle!

And I don’t need no stinking rage! I got plenty! ROTFLMAO!! Peace! LOL!

Wow! Tubularsock can tell “you got RAGE”! Just shows just how “contact-highsRAGE works!
Man you “politically-correct-people” are all alike. Your kind freak out over a little GMO FUCK YOU. Next you’ll be trying to get Tubularsock to sell only ORGANIC-FUCK-YOU. Are you one of those socialist-hippies?

As for Linda’s Uncle Vinnie we are still close but Tubularsock hasn’t put a contract out on you, YET!

All Tubularsock is attempting to do is get you a reasonable priced product. If you are a little frightened about an kind-of-like-safe product it is not a problem.
Tubularsock will just shift his stock of Monsanto GMO FUCK YOU to Africa and India where Monsanto has been selling all their other GMO products. So a GMO FUCK YOU has already happened in those areas!

And don’t forget, Christmas is coming and TUBULARSOCK EMPORIUM OF GOODS, Ltd. has a huge selection of stocking-stuffers for the entire family. BUY SOME TODAY!