TSA workers say the darnedest things

Then he pulled a small, clear plastic bag from her carry-on – the sort of baggie that a pair of earrings might come in. Inside the bag was fine, white powder.

She remembers his words: “Where did you get it?”

Two thoughts came to her in a jumble: A terrorist was using her to sneak bomb-detonating materials on the plane. Or a drug dealer had made her an unwitting mule, planting coke or some other trouble in her bag while she wasn’t looking.

She’d left her carry-on by her feet as she handed her license and boarding pass to a security agent at the beginning of the line.

Answer truthfully, the TSA worker informed her, and everything will be OK.

Solomon, 5-foot-3 and traveling alone, looked up at the man in the black shirt and fought back tears.

Put yourself in her place and count out 20 seconds. Her heart pounded. She started to sweat. She panicked at having to explain something she couldn’t.

Now picture her expression as the TSA employee started to smile.

Just kidding, he said. He waved the baggie. It was his.

No biggie. He was just kidding. In fact, he was training other TSA workers how to detect contraband. The fact that he reduced this poor woman to tears, well, I guess that’s the kinda sacrifice we all have to make to win this war on terror.

But now that I know that TSA workers have such a great sense of humor, I’ll have to perpetrate a practical joke of my own the next time I go through airport security.

An update of the original newspaper article says, “the TSA spokeswoman said this afternoon that the worker is no longer employed by the agency as of today. She said privacy laws prevented her from saying if he was fired or left on his own.”

This absolutely was a firing offense, but that’s not enough. TSA owes this woman a public apology and significant financial compensation. Equally importantly, all TSA workers should receive training which emphasizes that playing practical jokes on travelers is inappropriate and will not be tolerated.

What a stupid ass. About a year ago, I went through Chicago Midway. I went to get my boarding pass and check my suitcase. The machine jammed and the agent lifted the hood of the machine and pulled my boarding pass. However it was just a security pass. She informed me that I’d have to get the actual boarding pass at the gate. I showed her my drivers license, per usual at that point, then when through security. The TSA agent scrutinized my drivers license and the security pass. I went to the gate and the agent there sighed heavily. “This is the 3rd time they’ve done this today.” The security pass had the name “Oscar Hernandez” on it, which of course, is not my name.

On a more recent trip, the TSA agent decided my purse pack of tampons was suspicious so I got pulled out of line and he yanked them out. I just looked at him, feeling happy that he got what he deserved. He said “Don’t worry, I’m like a doctor.”

So that this practical joker can sit at home and still get his higher than the private sector salary while the union argues with the government for six months about the grievance he filed after he was fired.

As a gift for scoring 4.96 out of 5 for 5 technical presentations at a recent 2009 trade show Puddy received a retractable silver USB thumb drive on a key ring loop with an inscription of thanks. Mine were the highest scores of the show. When it went through the scanner in my computer bag the TSA scanning machine dude thought it was a detonator on a key ring loop. He yanked out my bag opened it up and asked what is this. I showed the fool how it worked. He then looked as stupid as ylb arschloch’s comments are on HA. I said it loud enough so others could see what I did as I plugged it into my laptop. Then he said “Well I had to check it”. I then showed him the inscription and told him the trade show URL where he could get educated. So much for “change”.

This is a trick/tactic used for at least the last 30 years by law enforcement. I know because it happened to me 3 times over that time by 3 different officers from 3 different jurisdictions in 3 different states!

All 3 were for during routine stops for traffic citations. Give the cop the license & insurance…he goes to the car, comes back with a bag of white powder on top of the ID and asks, “is this yours?”

The first time in the 70’s, i sweated bullets like the traveler in the initial post. After that I just laughed each time, and said “nice try”.

Good to see that there’s no surprises in TSA’s approach….just the same stupid tactics used (and known) for years & years.

Wow Pud. Most of us who travel extensively are smart enough to put anything that might arouse suspicion into the little round trays. I have a Victorinox stick that on a scanner looks just like a knife.

And besides, I didn’t know they gave technical prizes for making electricity from a potato. Trade show or science fair? Good to know you can plug in and get all your LEDs to fire. I’m in awe of your technical prowess.

Roger, are you sure there isn’t a clause buried somewhere in the wordy bowels of the Patriot Act that gets TSA and the government off the hook for any liability for passengers’ “distress” or for that matter anything else? The folks who crafted it certainly seemed to think they were safe.

@10 The world of “swag” certainly has changed since the Friday in the early 90’s when about 2,000 attendees from the Design Automation Conference in Dallas descended on the airport with the baseball bats that had been handed out at one exhibitor’s booth.

And besides, I didn’t know they gave technical prizes for making electricity from a potato.

Checksaaz, you need to come into the technical age. You need to determine which Mike Rogers was the FBI guy.

Regarding a USB thumb drive arousing suspicion, it was with three other thumb drives of varying sizes all together in a pouch fool! And two others have key rings on them. So much for talking out of your ASS as you normally do here.

My discussions were in data movement moron. Ask the HA arschloch for the technology Puddy is involved in. He has the whole HA database as a backup in his house. He can serach for you. Just ask him checksaaz! In fact some HA Libtardo who was moving to Asia also knows what Puddy does. Now who can that be again…?

Wow Pud! If you can’t handle a little smack-talk, you might need to get off the internet. (It’s like a Yo Mama joke. Do I REALLY think yo mama gets into the drive-in movies by painting Chevrolet on her grill?)

I imagine if someone got through with a small amount of C4 disguised as a stick you’d find some way to complain that Obama’s TSA wasn’t thorough enough?

This only points out the folly of political correctness in our security policy. We have this insane program of treating old men, infants, veterans exactly the same as 25 year old Muslim men w no luggage. I can still recall my 90 yr old WW2 vet father having to take his shoes off, get the wand, etc… use your brain people….the old midwestern vets aren’t blowing up planes

Even Britain at the height of the IRA was bright enough to target Irish and Irish Americans in their searches and inspections. But boy, don’t you dare insult the Muslims…

TSA, yeah Bush was pres. Was stupid then and stupid now to be a slave to PC….rather than better spending that same pool of TSA money to more intensely focus on likely suspects and less on the unlikely one. I would be quite happy having 2 lines at the airport; 1 quick and brief one for the extraordinarily unlikely to carry a bomb or gun, and the other for the more likely. i could care less if feelings are hurt. ever heard how el al scans all but super bears down on the likely attackers…

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