[28r°] believed I had died. This sickness was not “unto death,” but like that of Lazarus it was to give glory to God. And God was glorified by the admirable resignation of my poor little Father, who thought his “little girl was going crazy or was about to die.” [5] God was glorified too by Marie’s resignation! Ah! how she suffered because of me, and how grateful I am to her for the care she lavished upon me with such unselfishness. Her heart dictated what was necessary for me and really a mother’s heart is more discerning than a doctor’s, for it knows how to guess at what is suitable for its child’s sickness.

[10] Poor Marie was obliged to come and live at Uncle’s because it was impossible to bring me back at the time to Les Buissonnets. However, Pauline’s taking of the Habit was approaching. They avoided talking about it in my presence, knowing the pain I felt, but I spoke about it often and said I would be well enough to go and see my dear Pauline. [15] In fact, God did not want to refuse me this consolation; or rather, He wished to console His dear Fiancée who suffered so much because of her little girl’s sickness. I have noticed that Jesus doesn’t want to try His children on the day of their espousals, for this day must be without any clouds, a foretaste of heaven’s joys. Has He not shown us this five times? [20] I was, then, able to kiss my dear Mother, to sit on her knees and give her many caresses. I was able to contemplate her who was so beautiful under the white adornment of a Bride. Ah! how beautiful that day was, even in the midst of my dark trial, but it passed by quickly. Soon I had to climb into the carriage which took me to Les Buissonnets, far from Pauline and from my beloved Carmel. When we reached home, they put me to bed in spite of my assurances that