The Official 2014 Home Run Derby Drinking Game

Not too many things make as good a pairing as enjoying a tall, frosty, ale while taking in America’s past time. An ice-cold beer and baseball go together like lamb and tuna fish. Ok, more like spaghetti and meatballs? You more comfortable with that analogy? Either way, the 2014 Home Run Derby will be the focus of the sports world Monday night, so if you’re looking for a reason to toss a few back, not that you’d need one anyway, here is the 2014 Home Run Derby drinking game.

Take One Drink:

Every time you hear Aloe Blacc’s “I’m the Man.” At this point, it’s kind of the go to song for every sporting event known to man. That shit is everywhere.

Every time a player goes yard. That’s why we’re watching this thing anyway, right?

Every time a first time all star is shown taking a video, selfie, picture, etc.

Every time the broadcast crew talks about Jeter and his last hoorah. Don’t get me wrong, I love Jeter, but this is about to get out of hand. Yeah Jeets!

For every “back, back, back” you get from Chris Berman. Just kidding, don’t do that. You’ll probably die, like literally.

Take Two Drinks:

For every home run that travels over 450 feet.

Every time a player from your favorite team goes deep.

For every international flag you’ll see waving about Target Field.

Every time MLB Insider Buster Olney mentions the Red Sox or the Yankees. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him do a bit that didn’t involve either.

Take a Shot:

If any one of those seemingly endless throngs of kids in the outfield actually catches a fly ball.

At that point in the broadcast where Kruk makes it known he’s about to lace into a pile of food that may or may not be the trigger of his inevitable heart attack.

For every piece of new, wildly expensive, yet totally unnecessary piece of new technology ESPN will debut.