Liam Cameron and Shane Harte: ‘That can only create tension.’
Photograph: Alicia Canter for the Guardian

Are men their own worst enemies, or are they really more likely to be with a partner who is more attractive than they are? This is the question raised by a new survey, from the makers of revived relationship gameshow Your Face or Mine, which claims that a third of men believe they are “punching above their weight” in the relationship stakes, compared with just 18% of women. I took to the streets to do some further research, and find out what men and women think of the findings, and where they place themselves in the pecking order.

Liam Cameron and Shane Harte both 29, pictured above

Liam (29 visual merchandising manager, London/Glasgow): Shane and I have had this conversation before, and we have both said we were punching above our weight with each other. I think that sort of thing can only create tension in a relationship if there is already insecurity there.

Shane (29, mixologist, London/Dublin): I have been with Liam for two and a half years. If you are thinking that you are punching above your weight, then even that’s a bit unhealthy. You should think: “If this person has stuck with me for two years, something’s going right.” Some people say it just to be polite, 100%, because they don’t want to be seen as being egocentric.

Shannon Giles: ‘When I met him, I did look at him like he was a bit of a god.’ Photograph: Alicia Canter for the Guardian

Shannon Giles, 22 actor and bartender, London/Swansea

I have been with my boyfriend for three years. I was 18 and fresh to London when I met him; he had been in London for two years and was 21. So when I met him I definitely felt like he was a lot cooler – I did look at him like he was a bit of a god. But about two years into the relationship there was a change: he turned into an absolute nerd and I turned into the person who wanted to go out and try new things. He still thinks I am a bit immature, but I think he sees us as equals.

Bruce and Maggie May: ‘Men say that to be gallant.’ Photograph: Alicia Canter for the Guardian

Bruce May, 71, and Maggie May, 69 retired, Basildon, Essex

Bruce: We have been married for 48 years. I am honest when I say I am punching above my weight, but in general men might say it to be gallant.

Maggie: I don’t think either of us thought we were punching above our weight. Whether people punch above or below their weight depends on the circumstances, but when you have been together this long, that sort of thing doesn’t matter.

Leon Hazlewood, 51education worker, east London

Sometimes a lot of men say these things to please their partners, but it isn’t real. I’m not currently in a relationship, but when I find one, I won’t be thinking about whether I’m punching above my weight or whether they are.

Ellen Tatton: ‘We’ve both said this to each other.’ Photograph: Alicia Canter for the Guardian

Ellen Tatton, 23mental health support worker, London

I have known my husband since we were nine, and we married when we were 19. We were friends until we were 16 and then started going out. There was a long time that I liked him but just didn’t think he would ever like me. I thought I would be punching above my weight, because I was really shy and he was really outgoing and sociable; girls love him. It wasn’t really about attractiveness but more about his charisma. In a way, I think it’s good for both people to have a sense of: “I’m not good enough for this person.” My husband and I have both said this to each other at different times. That kind of keeps you making that effort.

Jim de Whalley, 33record producer, south London

I have been in my current relationship for three and a half years. I think it’s pretty equal – she’s a really pretty girl, but I also know I am not ugly. It is probably more because I am bigheaded that I think it’s equal. She is quite self-deprecating, so she would probably say she is punching above her weight, but I don’t think she is. Generally, it shouldn’t really matter how someone looks anyway. Even though we met on Tinder, I am more of a sapiosexual.