it's up to you to be you.

While out for a drink, my friends and I started talking about our love lives and relationships. One is getting married this year (so excited!), one has just started seeing someone, one is happily single, and one is looking for her bearded strong silent type soul mate. The one with the ring on her finger started talking about her fiancé, and why they work. He’s different from all her past boyfriends. It’s interesting, because she mentioned that she has been told that she has an aggressive personality, and as such, she was always told and believed that she needed to find someone who could put up with her, someone with an equally aggressive personality. And by aggressive personality, I mean, she says what she wants, she is direct, she gets it done, she’s loud, and she’s hilarious. In fact, the other day during the 8th Annual AMEC Counsel of the Year Awards, the fire alarm in the House of Blues went off and smoke was rising as she walked on stage to present an award, and 90% of the people initially thought it was her special effects, because everyone who knows her figured it was something she could or would pull off. I was on stage with her, and I even thought the smoke and alarm were part of a joke or something, so I laughed until people started frantically leaving the building. Anyways, back to the point. Her past boyfriends all had a certain level of machismo that really just fronted their insecurities and sensitivities. On the other hand, her fiancé now is a very chill, awesome guy, who is just so comfortable in his own skin and that’s what makes him so awesome. He’s not some big macho maestro, but if you ask me, he’s more man than any machismo donkey butt could be. He doesn’t feel the need to be louder than her. He’s physically not bigger or taller than her. All in all, I think they are a beautiful couple. On the outside, they may seem like an odd pairing, but then you realize how cozily they complement each other. And I give the lad bonus points for being so awesome. After all, this particular friend is just one of my absolute favorite people on the planet. And it turns out that she doesn’t need someone equally as aggressive as she is; she just needs someone equally as awesome as she is. So what is the point I’m trying to make? I think that many women are raised to think that they need someone who is big and strong, and will keep them safe. And if we’re big and strong personalities, then we need someone who is bigger and stronger. This is an unfortunate misconception, to say the least. Sometimes what we think we want, what we think is right for us, isn’t really at all. So don’t be afraid to say yes to the unexpected. Sometimes you find exactly what you wanted, in totally unexpected ways. And ladies, repeat this mantra: “I’m not a princess, I don’t need saving. I’m the flippin’ Queen, I got this shit handled.”