Monthly Archives: December 2012

Here we are again at the dawn of a New Year. I see people scurrying around making plans for a party, a celebration, a gathering, or just planning a quiet evening at home. Whatever you are doing this New Year, take time to release old resentments and old pain. It is a great time of year to forgive, really forgive….including yourself.

Who among us has not righteously held onto ill feelings that we feel are justified towards others because of “what they did” to use or what we PERCEIVED they did to us. I just finished a novel in which a dreadful cascade of events unfurled because of a misperceived action. The female lead in the novel felt she had been unjustly treated but in the end, she so foolishly misread the event that it led to some sad and tragic events in her efforts to seek revenge for an…

Peace, Health & Happiness

It’s hard to know what you want out of life or what you’re looking for when you haven’t fully figured out who YOU are. It’s taken me a long time to really realize my direction in life and to become aware of some of the reasons behind some of my choices. I’ve made wrong turns because I wasn’t fully aware of my real motivations and underlying needs and even though I had thought I’d gone in a specific direction for a specific reason, I had discovered later that I was compromising one need to meet or maintain another. The biggest “aha” was that I wasn’t even aware that I was doing this or what my real needs and/or desires were because I was too distracted in every area of my life to realize that I didn’t know who I really was. I had normalized in my mind that having every moment of my day spoken for meant that I was getting things done and fulfilling the normal life plan, at least that was my misguided understanding. We’re not all built the same so why would there be a “one size fits all” life plan that everyone conforms to, the life plan itself should conform to each individual and I don’t believe that everyone gains happiness, peace and balance from travelling the same path.

I have come to these realizations at various times over the last five years because I’ve been interested In the bigger picture and wanted to find the root of why I kept ending up in similar life scenarios whether that was within family, friend or intimate relationships. You know, if I keep doing things the same way I shouldn’t be expecting different results just because my intentions or awareness has changed or grown. No doubt there will be many more of these realizations to come as I have more chapters of my life to fill and from what I’ve learned so far this leads me to believe that this enlightenment has only just begun.

I think that when you get “stuck” in certain areas of your life it’s because there is something bigger that is holding you back and when you start to rewind and replay those that didn’t go as you’d hoped, you will likely find the pattern that is keeping you “stuck”. Recognizing and becoming aware of the patterns that you’ve repeated can be the first step in turning your entire life around because once you’ve brought yourself awareness it will help you to create a new pattern. When you change things up this way you will find yourself in very new and very unfamiliar territory. When I started to recognize and slowly change those areas of my conditioning I found at first, that it felt a little weird, but in a good way. The main thing I noticed is that I’d eliminated the self-doubt and replaced it with a stronger sense of self-guidance.

Of course all changes we make to improve our lives will have a transition period and uncertainty can usually be expected but as long as you listen to your heart and follow your gut instinct I don’t believe you will end up on the wrong path. Acknowledging how things make you feel along the way and allowing yourself the freedom to step outside of your comfort zone to explore areas of life that you had never thought to try will help to ease the transitions and reduce the fears.

No matter what path you take or process you use to learn more about who YOU are, it’s that awareness that will help you to gain a greater understanding and contentment overall.

Sometimes when we are forced into actions it’s because we should have found the way ourselves, sometimes when change occurs it’s because it’s long overdue, and sometimes we make the transition effortlessly. Whichever way it happens is something that will be specific to each of us as individuals but the circumstances surrounding any change will be determined by either your resistance or acceptance. I have travelled both paths at different times in my life and I can definitely say that acceptance is the easier of the two. Resistance has always brought me disappointment, hurt, frustration and overall a heavy dose of unnecessary stress. For some individuals change can be very challenging for reasons other than just resisting or accepting.

There are many reasons why we resist:

– We think we know better

– It’s unknown and we feel vulnerable and/or a little scared

– Others are advising us to go that route

Of course the ego always thinks it knows better and it’s easy for you to convince yourself that you do know better, that ego is connected to you. I’m not saying you have no idea what’s going on, I’m just saying that every time I’ve allowed my ego to run the show it hasn’t been a good idea because as much as the ego may think it knows better, ultimately it doesn’t. The ego isn’t tapped into the same frequency as the universal mind so it can’t possibly know everything.

When things are unknown they can leave you feeling vulnerable and a little scared of what’s to come as well as hesitant to take that step forward. When I’ve had this feeling it’s been because I was on the verge of experiencing a major change and positive growth that I couldn’t have possibly foreseen. Every time so far it has been a positive step forward for me so I’ve learned to recognize when that moment comes around that I definitely want to go in that direction, experience has taught me that.

I don’t mind constructive criticism, it helps me to learn and grow as an individual but I don’t usually welcome being told what to do. Somewhere in my psyche I find that in those times I become resistant because I feel pressured to go in the direction that someone is advising me. Now that person may not actually be pressuring me but I may be receiving it that way and reacting because of that sense. Some people will actually go in an entirely different direction simply because someone is advising them one way and even if they know it’s the right way to go they go in another direction because they are so resistant to the direction and/or assistance.

Regardless of what reasoning you have behind it chances are your resistance is causing you more stress overall than if you were to just let go and let things happen as they are meant to.

Change overall is the universe’s way of transitioning us into the direction we are meant to go and when you ignore the signs and resist the change you are only causing yourself more difficulty and stress. When you are resisting change, the universe sometimes responds with a jolt in the direction you’re supposed to be going so if your life suddenly changes I believe it’s because you’ve been ignoring the signs for so long that this is the only way the universe can alert you. Sometimes this alert can cause you to experience hurt emotions and I don’t believe that this is any sort of payback or karma, it’s just that if you get too far off your path there’s only one way for the universe to get you back on it in time.

Be mindful, stay aware and tuned in to what’s going on around you, pay attention to your path, the signs and those in your life. We are all here to bring meaning to each other’s lives, teach, learn and grow. Let your desires help lead you to your passion and purpose, don’t be in too much of a rush, it will find you when the time is right.

There are many inspirational, motivational and spiritual teachers out there that are available to all of us, all the time. They help us through their teachings, insight and universal wisdom and it’s as easy as picking up a book or surfing the internet but in order to absorb this wisdom you need to be open to receive it. I believe that depending on where we are at within our lives whether that is age, awareness or state of mind, it can determine how willing or open we are. For example, when I was in my 20’s I wasn’t aware of anything related to personal growth or life’s lessons, not because I was close minded but because the thoughts never even occurred. My life revolved around playing sports, having fun with friends and shopping, I didn’t start to develop awareness until my 30’s and from that awareness came a desire to discover who I was, what I wanted, where I was going and what it all meant.

I discovered that my connections with some of the people in my life began to transition to a deeper level and that I was drawn to certain individuals because they had a brighter and positive perspective, outlook and attitude. The transition to my new awareness was seamless and flowed naturally because I was more than willing to embrace it and in turn it enabled me to develop a heightened sense of intuition. I didn’t struggle with not understanding what was going on within or feeling like I was in some sort of limbo so it was hard for me to relate to those that did but somewhere in between I began to realize that none of us do anything the exact same way as the other. That is our individual and unique quality, it defines and differenciates us from one another and is to be respected.

We don’t develop, learn or find our path in the same time frame and shouldn’t be expected to or be judged for it one way or the other. No matter what stage you are at with starting to develop your awareness or just desiring it, it doesn’t matter because at least you’re aware and that’s the beginning.

The road to self-discovery isn’t always easy, everyone has an off day every now and then but if you are having more than one of these days for longer periods of time, then there may be something more going on beneath the surface that would be beneficial for you to learn what the root is. Downtime that goes on for too long is an indication that there is something deeper affecting you and chances are if you are experiencing this then you are also frustrated, may have a deep sense of sadness and/or feel alone. This is your inner voice signaling to you and letting you know that your current process needs to change because you don’t need or deserve to feel this way. It’s important that you listen to your inner voice, it is in alignment with your inner spirit and knows when something is off even if you aren’t fully aware of it yet. I didn’t always listen to mine when I should have and found that some areas of this process took me longer to reach enlightenment than necessary and because of that I was very hard on myself. That’s a natural response but of course knowing that doesn’t make it any easier to take although it did help me to lighten the blame I sometimes placed on myself.

If there is something you’re having a difficult time with, don’t judge yourself too harshly, allow yourself the time you need to learn and the time you need to heal when you experience a setback. If something has you down for too long do what is necessary to prevent yourself from staying in a perpetual state of unhappiness. We are all here for a reason and I believe it is to live the best life we can.

My favorite and most inspiring teacher/mentor is Dr. Wayne Dyer, I have learned so many new ways of thought process from him and just the other day his PBS Special “Wishes Fulfilled” was on and even though I have seen it, I watched it again. One of the many things that he spoke of during this special was something that everyone can try tonight and every night before you go to sleep that will improve your quality of life going forward. I have quoted some dialogue from his special below:

Job 33-15-16

“In a dream, in a vision of the night, when deep sleep falls upon men while slumbering in their beds, then He opens the ears of men and seals their instruction.”

Your subconscious mind is most comfortable when you are unconscious. You are unconscious when you are in your sleep state and in your sleep state your subconscious state is busy at work and it’s the last 5 minutes of your day that are so important. When you are in that state between being awake and getting drowsy and going to sleep and you are going to marinate for the next 8 hours in your unconscious subconscious mind. When you’re preparing your marinade, the question is “how do you want to prepare yourself for having your instructions sealed?” Most people use the last 5 minutes of their day to review all the things that they don’t like, and all of the things that didn’t work, and all of the people that hurt their feelings, and all of the stuff that is going on in their life that they wish weren’t happening, this is their worry time. This is the time when you fill your mind with all of the stuff and then you go off into sleep and he opens your ears and seals your instructions while you are slumbering. What you want to do is reverse this practice because your subconscious mind is listening to how you are asking the universe to provide for you what it is that you would like to attract or manifest into your life and if you fill your subconscious mind with all the things you don’t want, don’t like, that make you unhappy, that make you depressed, that make you worry. Then your subconscious mind, which is impersonal, and can’t make a distinction between what it is that you are feeling as a result of what you place into your mind or what is actually happening in your life. It doesn’t distinguish one from the other, it is just open to suggestion, and here you are suggesting to your subconscious mind all the things you don’t want. What would you rather have sealed before you drift off to sleep “I am unhappy” or “I am happy”?

It was amazing to me the first time I saw this special and this particular piece was such an eye-opener to me. I’ve done this before falling asleep, reviewed my day, thought about the things that bothered me in depth and then fallen asleep with those thoughts. I hadn’t realized that one little adjustment to that could make such a huge difference in aligning me with a happier and healthier state of mind and being.

So tonight when you are in those moments before you are drifting off to sleep, let your imagination of hopes and dreams have the chance to run free. Think about all the beautiful and positive things you dreamed of as a child for what you wished for in your life and let that marinate overnight. I think you will have a different sense of self-direction and state of mind the next morning.