HP "Don't be stupid!!! It's completely normal for people to
hear voices that no-one else does!"

RW "No it's not."

HP "Yes it is! I must follow the invisible voices! It is not
odd in the slightest!"

RW "Then why is no-one else doing it?."

HP "That's because I'm special!!! Why else do you think I'm
the only on hearing the voices!!! Stupid boy!"

HG "Harry it's very dangerous."

HP "No it's not"

HG "Black's still on the loose."

HP " I want sweets. It's perfectly acceptable to go down
secretly. The fact that Black murdered lots of people and broke into Hogwarts
means nothing . He'll never be able to find me. I shall be perfectly safe in a
less protected place with crowds of people and weird scary things under a
mouldy cloak. Far, far away from the only person who's keeping Black away.
Every body is trying to keep me safe but I care not. For I am Harry Potter!
Lord of the Universe!!!"

HG " Isn't that Quirrel over there talking to that man who
looks suspiciously like the Dark Lord Voldemort?"

RW "Do you suppose he could be working for him?"

HP "Don't be stupid! Quirrel has a stutter .It can't be him.
Honestly! The conditions I have to work under!"

HG "I think I've lost my hair brush."

HP "It must have been Snape! He's stolen it in a fiendish
plan to make you have messy hair."

HG "No…I think I've just left it back in my room."

HP "That's what he wants you to
think"

RW "Harry she's probably just left it back in her room."

HP "He's brainwashed you too!"

RW "No. I saw her leave it in the common room."

HP "TRAITOR! You're working for him, aren't you!"

HG "Oh look there it is Crookshanks has it."

HP " He's an animagus! Snape's the cat. It has the
hairbrush. It must be stopped."

RW "Harry, don't ..."

HP "Die Cat Die!"

(harry violently
bludgers the cat to death with the hairbrush)

HP "Now Snape can never return and voldemort will die
without his servant, hahahahah!!"(evil
laugh)

HG "You've murdered my cat!"

RW "Shouldn't we make him show himself? You know to make
sure it's Snape?"

HP "I was wondering which of you
would spot that first *cough*"

(he waves his wand and mumbles the ancient spell)

HP "turnbackyouuglyfart"

(Nothing happens)

RW "Harry I think you've just killed Crookshanks"

HP "No that was Snape, he is voldemorts evil spy and now
he's dead I shall be praised above all others for I am the Lord Harry Potter
and I am invincible!!!!!"

(Snapes hair is
suddenly clean, free of dandruff and bursting with volume and life)

Sn "AARGH! POTTER YOU'VE BEEN ASKING FOR THIS FOR A
LONG TIME! spottyoikius"

(Harry is hit with the ancient powerful spell, which takes
an ordinary boy and transforms them into a short, spotty teenager with greasy,
crappy hair, and absolutely no degree of attractiveness at all. Harry therefore
remains exactly the same.)

Sn "Damn!!"

HP "And now you shall all bow to me! bendius downius"

(everyone bows down before Harry except Ron who is still
tied up and so falls on his face)(Dumbledore shakes off the spell)