True Blue Marriage Rescue

A Tongue As Sharp As A Serpent

“And let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband-that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly.” (Ephesians 5:33)

I’m a lot of things—a daughter of the King, a wife, and a mother (in that order). I’m also a sinner and imperfect, but I know I have redemption and forgiveness through His blood. Sometimes asking forgiveness from Christ is a lot easier than asking it from someone we’ve wronged, because we know with certainty that God forgives.

I should start by saying my husband is an amazing man. He does it all. He runs both of our businesses, writes, hauls kids where they need to be hauled, and manages to teach them important life lessons along the way.

I was impatient because I knew we had to pick the kids up, and he very innocently said, “Pick those kids up.” I’m not sure why I said what I did, and I have no excuse for it, but the words that came out of my mouth were, “Those kids? Didn’t you just write a blog post about how it’s a red flag when you use that term?”

My words were unbelievably hurtful to my husband. I’d not only insinuated that he didn’t love or care for the kids—kids he’s done nothing but love and nurture and care for when I’ve been eyeball deep in deadlines—I was also disrespectful. To him as a man and husband, and also to his work. I delivered a one-two-three punch with two sentences.

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. (Ephesians 4:29)

Wow, I failed miserably at that one. Words are powerful. My first course of action was to apologize to my husband and beg forgiveness. He deserves that apology, both in private and in public, because the work he does on this blog can’t be measured. All of us who contribute spend a lot of time praying for the right words for this blog. We have to dig deep from personal experiences, and that’s often very emotional to bring up past scars or hurts to help others. And he’s put his heart and soul into every word he’s put on the page. He’s answered countless emails, spent hours praying, and hours writing, all to serve others and serve God.

My second course of action was to get on my knees in my closet with my bible and ask God for forgiveness. I didn’t display any of the actions Ephesians 5:33 talks about. That’s not the kind of wife I want to be. And that’s not the kind of wife I want my children to see as an example. I want to be the kind of wife who honors God and my husband in all things.

As wives, we’re the mirrors in which our husbands see themselves. How many of us need to polish up our mirrors so our husbands shine? I know I do, and I thank God daily that we can learn and grow in His word, so we can grow in our marriages. My husband is a son of the King, just as I’m a daughter of the King, and he deserves to be treated as such.

We cannot fix these things on our own. Only God can fix these things within us, through prayer, and through changing our heart so we have a heart that beats for Christ. I adore, admire, and appreciate my husband. When I show him those things, I’m showing him God’s love. I pray fervently to live Ephesians 4:29, so that I may be a Godly wife whose husband knows with certainty how much he’s loved and treasured.