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Sat, 07 Mar 2015 14:20:28 -0800IGN Entertainment, Inc.Oysteren-ushttp://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rsshttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2015/03/07/five-nights-at-freddys-3-and-the-search-for-knowledge-in-horror
I don't think I need to introduce you to Five Nights at Freddy's.

But it'd be rude not to!

Almost certainly already in your steam library, the game's managed to perform two extremely impressive feats in its so far brief existence - become the next indie horror craze, and know exactly what to do to capitalize on it. The fact that we're on the second sequel in the 8 months since the first game was even released shows how aware developer Scott Cawthon is of the short-lived and fragile life of the latest mega-hit indie horror game - catapulted into the internet's limelight through the likes of Reddit and YouTube before the inevitable fade back to obscurity - by opting to cash in with quick variations on the tried-and-true formula rather than going the AAA route with longer dev cycles and a severe case of dwindling returns. Looking at you, Slender: the Arrival!

Oh. Well this is awkward.

Why is it that the game has even reached this point though? There are a million-and-one jumpscare-oriented horror games making the rounds online every day, so why is FNAFthe one that stuck? Of course it helps that the game is genuinely brilliant - both inventive and original, as well as being properly scary - but it's takes more than just being good to become the internet's darling. To become the phenom that it has, to really stick and not come off in the various forums and boards of the web, there needs to be an element of mystery.

It's the reason Alien is my favorite ever horror film (as well of one of my favorite films period) yet the original Halloween nearly sent me to sleep, why I'll choose the X files over CSI every time and why Five Nights at Freddy's and Slender were always going to become huge hits. Take Alien again for example - the film ticks all the boxes for a good, even great, horror film:

Suspense? Yup.

Believable and relatable characters? Yes!

An original and creepy monster? It's Alien.

Actual Horror? In spades. Air vents, anyone?

But here's the thing: Alien is neither a good nor great horror film - it's an amazing horror film, and I like to think that it's pop culture staying power comes from the sheer weirdness of it's world-building, and the intense desire you're left with to explore and discover more.

Doesn't get more iconic than this.

My favorite scene in the film is, without a doubt, the exploration of the derelict. I'd be immensely happy to watch an entire movie consisting purely of the characters wandering around the vast spaceship (you have no idea how it felt to do that for real years later in Alien: Isolation) purely due to the aura of mystery surrounding the place. What is it? How does it work? What happened to it? The genius of the film was to present and imply, but never outright explain - to allow the film-goer to draw their own conclusions and create their own stories. FNAF then has used this same technique to become as popular as it is now - a perfect motto of come for the gameplay, stay for the mystery.

When first presented Five Nights at Freddy's doesn't seem like it would have a huge amount of depth to it, and indeed from a gameplay perspective it doesn't. You're a security guard who's been hired by a children's pizzeria to look after the building at night, with the horror coming from a group of anthropomorphic animatronics who, despite being perfectly cuddly during the day, will get up and wander around at night in order to swiftly and loudly jump at you. This is a set-up that could easily work with no further intrigue - you come on, get screamed at, eventually win and job done, on to the next game. But FNAF doesn't stop there. As you play the game you start to notice that something, besides the murderous robots, is decidedly off. Newspaper clippings eluding to strange events adorn the walls (just see what happens if you search "the bite of 87" online), certain camera images just don't seem right and rarely, oh so rarely, you might catch a glimpse of a... golden animatronic? Before you know it the wiki page is up, the forum threads are open and boom, the game's an instant hit. This element was only emphasized with subsequent sequels, to a point where FNAF 3 has multiple endings depending on whether you've discovered all the insanely complex easter eggs hidden in every level - the stuff of dreams for wiki pages and walkthroughs.

I'm going to make ad revenue off you so hard

In a modern media market where almost every niche is completely saturated horror is no exception. It's just not good enough to be, well, good anymore - even originality won't guarantee success today. To become a hit on the level of Alien, on the level of the X-files, on the level of Five Nights at Freddy's, you have to be able to leave your consumer, be it a viewer, reader or gamer, intrigued. You have to present a mystery compelling enough to make them want to share it with their friends, to look it up online or create a video about it. You have to make them start looking for the answers.

This then is why games like Five Nights at Freddy's and Slender become so popular. The foundations are all there - solid design, original and genuinely scary gameplay, but what really sets them apart is their ability to ignite discussion and debate, to drive you to keep exploring and inquiring long after you've quit the game, to give you an inexplicable desire to draw disturbing fan art of it.

I can't wait to see what's next.

Except for the fan art. Can definitely wait for that.

Thoughts?

]]>Sat, 07 Mar 2015 14:20:28 -0800Edithttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2015/03/07/five-nights-at-freddys-3-and-the-search-for-knowledge-in-horror#article_commentshttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2014/12/03/3-video-games-you-really-shouldnt-play-during-christmas-this-year
Don't you just love Christmas? Full of merriment and cheer and such, it's a lovely time of year that tends to bring out the best in people... people. not video games. Unlike their multimedia counterparts games tend not to have a holiday special or Christmas single, and thus serve to detach the player from all the mince pies they're supposed to be eating. For those of you eager to maintain the spirit of good will, here are some choice titles you might want to touch only with a 10-foot barge pole this year.

Cowboy hats optional.

1. Dead Space

Nothing says Christmas like Chronenbergian body horror.

Before you yell "Cheap shot! Booooo!" and proceed to DDoS me I'll have you know horror absolutely has a place during Christmas time. Finely crafted ghost stories like whistle and I'll come to you and (arguably one of the greatest stories of all time) a Christmas Carol steal away all the happiness of the holiday and replace it with the cold, creeping dread of the winter chill. What once was familiar becomes utterly alien, and those treasured possessions you take so much comfort in become instruments of a pure and utter fear. They're scary and they know when to make you jump, but most importantly they're subtle - something Dead Space is not. Don't get me wrong, I proudly list it as one of my favorite ever video games and a classic of the last console generation - I absolutely adore the art style, the clear influences of so many classic horror films and the brutal, hudless combat - but this is not a game to play at Christmas. Instead of a creeping dread there's normal dread, with added zombie head-stomping. Instead of a subtle chill there's, well, more zombie head-stomping, and instead of a shiver running down your spine there's... yeah.

Instead Play...

Dear Ester

Dear Ester

The world you are so briefly shown in Dear Ester is perfect for Christmas. It's cold, it's vast and it's lonely - rather than being sent along a series of linear corridors you're free to roam as you please, uncovering small fragments of a story that's never really explained and is given a unique form by your imagination. Rather than throwing ghosts in your face developer the Chinese Room is content to merely hint at the supernatural, keeping you on edge but never ruining the tension. It's not a game for the trigger-happy or the impatient, but if you commit to the two hours or so needed to complete the game in one sitting and really immerse yourself, it's an experience like no other.

2. Persona 3

Pictured: Subtlety.

Ah, Persona. I unashamedly adore the series and, like Dead Space, consider the 4th to be one of my favorite ever games - with 3 ranking pretty high on that list as well. For all its memorable and complex characters, intelligent story and genie-in-a-bottle gameplay though there's something about all those subtle (read: about as subtle as whacking you one with a hammer) allusions to death that tends to kill the merriness a tad. Christmas is not a time for pondering the nature of death or the futility of trying to change fate, nor is it a time for having a deep existential crisis. So if you're thinking of checking out the back catalog after that Persons 5 trailer maybe best to just wait until the spring and go nuts, champ.

Just so subtle.

Instead Play...

Dragon Age: Inquisition

*Not Skyrim*

Huge and terrifyingly long? Check! Able to make meaningful decisions and form relationships with your party members? Double Check! Party members repeatedly shooting themselves in the head?! No! It's perfect! And who doesn't love a bit of swords and sorcery at Christmas? Everyone having Lord of the Rings movie marathons tells me all I need to know.

Don't ask where I got this picture of you.

3. DayZ

Despite having been out for at least half a year now (probably), this online, open-world zombie survival sim still regularly makes the *top* of steam's top sellers and retains its stunning popularity at the time of writing. It's not hard to understand why either. The allure of being one person, struggling on the bare minimum and facing a dangerous and unforgiving world as well as their fellow man is obvious and popular, but I'm telling you now it'll only end in tears. You'll inevitably leave your computer distraught as the character you've spent hours, nay days painstakingly building is mercilessly and swiftly sniped by another player you never even saw once, left to slowly bleed to death as you shout, scream for mercy to a program that either doesn't understand you or doesn't care. This totally didn't happen to me.

Instead Play...

Hatoful Boyfriend

What a Dreamboat.

It's a game where you go to a pigeon school with the implicit aim of dating said avians. It'll be great.

So Great.

- Seb is a blogger and YouTuber who once streamed the Elder Scrolls for a week down at the IGN UK officies in London, and he never lets them forget it. He also likes to refer to himself in the third person at the end of his blogs. You can follow him on twitter @DasBastian or subscribe to his hibernating YT channel, DasBastianVideos!

]]>Wed, 03 Dec 2014 15:23:56 -0800Edithttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2014/12/03/3-video-games-you-really-shouldnt-play-during-christmas-this-year#article_commentshttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2014/07/02/why-excluding-women-from-a-hearthstone-tournament-really-is-the-stupidest-thing-ever
Everybody got into a massive fuss earlier today after the announcement that the International e-Sports Federation (IeSF)'s 6th e-Sports World Championship will not allow female competitors in a number of high-profile games, including Hearthstone. A spokesperson came up with a number of... interesting reasons why not, and I'm here to explain why all of those reasons are terrible and everyone getting angry about it should, to be honest, get even angrier. It's important to note that this is not an argument - that implies that there's a defense to what I'm about to say, and unless sexism counts as an argument (hint: it doesn't) there really, honestly, isn't. So let's finish this quickly.

"International standards"

Perhaps the most hilarious argument made by the IeSF to explain this segregation is that they're trying to follow the standards of more mainstream sports. The idea is that by complying to the rules and regulations of, say, football (i.e Male/Female segregated championships and teams) they'll be treated with more respect when compared to the greater sporting community. This argument sounds slightly convincing for the first few seconds after reading, until you think about a few key things.

Firstly, there is actually a reason why most physical sports have gender-specific tournaments, and it's because there are significant biological differences between genders which can give them an advantage in certain sporting situations. Without delving into it too deeply it would generally be considered to be an uneven playing field in most sports to have a mix of genders. The thing - the great thing - about Hearthstone though is that it is not a physical sport, and in fact is designed perfectly to make sure skill is the only thing determining the winner. It's turn-based, so reflex speed doesn't factor in. Players and characters are anonymous, so you have no idea who you're playing against. Hearthstone has been consciously and intelligently designed to offer a level playing field for literally everyone, all ages and any gender. So deciding to apply a set of "international standards" which were not created for, nor apply in any way to the game is just... stupid. It's like refereeing a basketball match with football rules, based purely on the fact that it's more popular.

"Promoting female players"

The second in the IeSF's one-two punch of hilarious reasoning centered on the idea of promoting female gamers via hosting a female-only competition as well. To quote them, "e-Sports is largely dominated by male players and female players are actually a portion of the overall player base". The idea is that by hosting a female-only competition as well they'll help to promote female gamers in esports.

Perhaps the first thing to point out here is that female gamers are not a novelty. The male:female ratio of video game players currently stands at around 60:40, which, although technically mostly men, is a fairly even split. Granted, the ratio is higher for esports specifically but the point is plenty of women play video games, certainly enough that they shouldn't have to deal with being sidelined for their rarity. The best way to promote gender equality in video games is by having gender equality in video games - if people see men and women competing together - with none of the standard "oh look, she's a girl!" comments being made - they'll start to realize that gender actually doesn't matter in gaming, and most likely set the new gold standard for equality in sports.

More importantly, sexism has been and still is a huge problem in gaming, with countless stories of female players being abused and insulted in game chat for no reason other than their gender. The games industry in general is very male-dominated, and we're only now starting to see a change towards equality - things like more important female characters who aren't hugely over-sexualised and the option to play as either gender in games like Call of Duty and Titanfall are big boosts, but ultimately pointless if major tournaments for these games are refusing to pass on the message. I can't see how forcing female competitors to play in a different, almost certainly smaller and less publicized tournament is going to do much to convince the griefers out there that women aren't somehow inferior when it comes to gaming because, I don't know, they have cooties or something.

In short, segregation of genders in esports is ridiculous, and there really isn't a reason to do it.

Thoughts?

]]>Wed, 02 Jul 2014 15:11:36 -0700Edithttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2014/07/02/why-excluding-women-from-a-hearthstone-tournament-really-is-the-stupidest-thing-ever#article_commentshttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/11/03/count-bastian-reviews-pacific-rim
While I prep what's sure to be a long, arduous and flamebait article on the new Call of Duty I've decided to take a foray into film reviews with one I watched recently in my University's campus cinema: Pacific Rim.

Count Bastian Reviews

Pacific Rim

What do you get when you cross Guillermo Del Toro, acclaimed director of such unique works as Pan's Labyrinth, Hellboy and the Devil's Backbone, with Japanese Kaiju monster movies? Add in a healthy mix of giant robots (mechas - also japanese) and you get Pacific Rim, a wonderfully unique blockbuster offering a wonderful sense of childish excitement that few films can convey.

The movie follows the story of Raleigh Becket (Charlie Hunnam - just one member of a cast of almost total unknowns, unless you're a fan of british dramas), a pilot. Except he's not an ordinary pilot, oh no. He pilots Jaegers - really, really big robots designed with the express purpose of kicking the ass of really, really big aliens - the Kaiju - who come up out of a dimensional rift in the ocean to lay waste to the world's cities. Beyond that the plot is fairly unnecessary: after a tragedy Becket retires from being a pilot until called back into action 5 years later, at which point he teams up with the last remnants of a now-defunct Jaeger programme in an all-or-nothing gambit to stop the Kaijus and save the world. Character back stories and a central romance feel a bit silly and unbelievable due to what are perhaps the most two-dimensional characters in any movie ever though, and I'm really not kidding. There's the maverick, the shy-but-strong love interest, the angry-but-caring general (Idris Elba, clearly having an insane amount of fun) plus the double team of a nerdy and rock-and-roll scientist, and that's before I go into the national stereotypes for the pilots from different countries, including some monkish Chinese dudes, crikey-mate Australians and the most Russian Russians you'll ever see in your life.

They are so Russian it hurts.

But here's the thing: you're not going to care about any of that. In fact, you're going to find each and every character totally and utterly believable. You're going to care about the love interest, cry at some of the characters' unbelievably shallow back stories and get totally absorbed in the scientists' hilarious forays into the absolute abysses of bullshittery. You're going to do all this because you've already sat, mouth agape, staring at a really big robot fighting a really big alien and will now take endless joy at anything that exists in a universe where that happens.

And then it rocket-punched someone and I cried tears of joy.

There's a great scene in the movie which I think sums up its sheer awesomeness in an easy to understand way. At one point in the film a giant robot is fighting a giant alien in the middle of a city, until the alien suddenly sprouts wings and picks up the robot, carrying it into space. Because of course it does. Once the robot/alien pair reach space the robot uses an attached sword to cut off the alien's wing, because of course it does, leading to the robot falling, from space, down to earth. Before the robot crash lands on Earth though it uses its nuclear reactor to launch itself upwards, because of course it does, allowing to to land perfectly in the middle of a football field. Because of course it does. It's moments like this, incredible action scenes with some of the best CGI, choreography, camera work and art direction I've ever seen in a blockbuster, which allow you to stop caring about the film's numerous short comings and love it regardless, because you're too busy jumping up and down in you chair and squealing with pure, childish delight to give a crap. Add to that a truly great soundtrack and a perfectly fitting ending and you have yourself a really fun movie. Go big, or go extinct.

Pacific Rim gets an 8/10.

A fantastic premise...

...brought to life by truly brilliant action and CGI.

Wafer-thin, predictable plot

The most 2D and stereotypical characters ever

]]>Sun, 03 Nov 2013 18:15:35 -0800Edithttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/11/03/count-bastian-reviews-pacific-rim#article_commentshttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/10/22/i-played-the-ps4-impressions-of-the-console-controller-and-assassins-creed-iv
So I was wandering around my University today when suddenly I turn a corner and there're Playstation 4s just kind of... sitting there. After I pinched, slapped and punched myself in an effort to wake up it seemed that yes, they actually were there and yes, I could actually play them. So I did. When I went up to it I realised it was in fact a stall set up by ubisoft to promote their new game Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag, allowing anyone walking by to pick up a controller and jump straight in to an assassination, sea combat or free-roam demo. So after an extended play session (there were a crazily small number of interested people walking by, which was just mad considering) I've come here to give you an in-depth look at Sony's next-gen console, controller and AC4. Ready?

The Console

Me and my new best friend.

Although I couldn't see the actual console itself (it was hidden inside what can only be described as a barrel) I was able to access a portion of its UI after some curious button-pressing, and what I saw impressed. Although I couldn't get into the system proper, I could see the controls and interface for the share button, which essentially allows you to upload a screenshot or video to the internet or stream your gameplay online, presumably via twitch. The UI itself was very similar to the Playstation 3's, with the exception being that it's a lot more blue and a lot more streamlined, with all my movements being fast and fluid with no noticeable lag - an impressive feat seeing as I was performing these actions in-game - and I could go back to the action with the press of a button. In general it seemed really well thought out and implemented, and I can see a lot of players making use of its features when the PS4 finally comes out. Personally, I'm waiting to see how easy it is to export recorded video to a PC editing software before I take to it, but as a social tool it holds a lot of promise.

The Controller

The Dualshock 4, in all its glory.

Words cannot describe how cool it was to finally get my hands on a next-gen controller, specifically the Dualshock 4. From promotional images and videos it was easily my favorite compared to the Xbox One (despite the fact that I'm a 360 gamer) but actually holding it in my hand was a different matter. Straight off the bat I didn't like how it held in my hands, but seeing as I don't like how the Dualshock 3 feels I don't feel I can mark it down for something that's up to personal taste. Less forgivable was the central touch pad though. As it can be pressed down it wobbles around a bit in its socket, which I don't like, and it generally feels a bit tacked-on. Perhaps it'll be worth it through its use but the demo I played didn't implement it at all, so it might end up like the vita's cool-in-theory but annoying-in-practice back touchscreen.

That aside, every other aspect of the controller was brilliant, with the new back triggers feeling much better than the Dualshock 3's R2 and L2 buttons, and the new analog sticks offering precise, responsive and accurate movement. Can't say too much about the other buttons other than they do the job and do it well. Also yes, the controller is a pretty as it looks in the promos. A gorgeous piece of hardware.

Assassin's Creed IV

Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag running on the PS4.

So this is where it really gets exciting, my first experience with playing a next-gen game! What's it like? How does it play? To just what extent did it blow off all my eyeballs? Well I hate to say it, but my time with AC4 left me feeling a bit underwhelmed.

I'll start with the graphics. I understand that Assassin's Creed 4 is a multi-platform game, so it'll be optimised to run on both current and next-gen consoles, but running on the PS4 the game looked a hell of a lot less pretty than I was led to believe. Yes, it does look great, but it's not at the level of jaw-dropping great Sony's told us all the next-gen games are going to be. It has all sorts of snazzy features like dynamic lighting, real-time waves and particle effects, and it's all running at a high frame rate, but nothing I saw shouted "next-gen!" in the way games like Destiny and the Division have in the past. In all honestly, it looks like someone took AC3, filled it with pirates and upped the graphics a bit, which in fairness is probably what they did.

The gameplay didn't fair that much better either. There were three demos available to play at the stand. One was a ship combat mission, another for assassination and finally a free-roam demo to test out all the features. The ship combat is a new feature for the series and its good fun, but the mechanics are clunky, hard to understand and lack general polish. Being on land fared better though, with free-running, fighting and chasing all as good as ever for Assassin's Creed, a section where you run out of a jungle being a stand-out. However, I found myself getting confused in combat situations, with button prompts suggesting the game should be played like the arkham games despite the mechanics being totally different, and countering seeming to result in still taking damage. I understand that I'm not the best at Assassin's Creed, but the in-game tutorial was confusing at best, frustrating at worst. If you're an AC fan though you'll be right at home, and doubtless impressed by all the new features a series veteran would be able to notice and appreciate.

In all it was fantastic being able to have a go on a next-gen console before release, so total kudos to ubisoft for going on tour with it. But as much as the console and controller impressed me, Assassin's Creed IV failed to deliver on the promise of next-gen, with improved graphics but the same old gameplay failing to excite in the way a truly next-gen game should. Regardless, I can't wait for the PS4 and everything the next generation holds! Thoughts?

]]>Tue, 22 Oct 2013 16:29:13 -0700Edithttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/10/22/i-played-the-ps4-impressions-of-the-console-controller-and-assassins-creed-iv#article_commentshttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/10/18/the-best-game-endings-ive-ever-played
In many ways the endings of video games can have more impact than most of their artistic counterparts. Whereas movies, books and comics can all have dramatic heft - delivering endings of sadness, happiness, shock, melancholia, you name it - games can provide an ending in which you are the hero of the story. Due to the interactive nature of the medium, an immersed gamer can easily make themselves the main protagonist, even being able to influence how their character's journey ultimately ends. So what are the best examples? Which stories in gaming prove that, above all else, video games are an art form and are fully capable of emotionally manipulating the player in a story which they can control? Read on.

I think it goes without saying that there are major spoilers for the games mentioned in this blog. If you don't want the ending spoiled for any games mentioned, don't read their post. I won't put any spoilers in their title so you can safely scroll down. Enjoy!

5. Batman: Arkham City

The Arkham games are what give comic book fans hope in gaming: proof that a video game of a superhero can work, and work well. They embody Batman. They take what Christopher Nolan did to rejuvenate the Dark Knight and inject a healthy dose of Comic Book insanity to create an experience unlike any other. Finally, gamers know what it feels like to be Batman. To stalk henchman in the shadows, be a master detective and most importantly beat the crap out of everyone. It's great.

Arkham City weaves a decidedly darker tale than its predecessor, Arkham Asylum though. Whereas Asylum told a good-yet-predictable story of the bad guys taking over the mad house with a standard hero-save-the-day ending, City is an altogether different breed. The plot twists and turns throughout the experience, with Batman always kept in the dark as to what is really going on. Until the end. In a shocking series of reveals, Batman finds out that Ra's al Ghul has been behind everything the whole time, using his daughter Talia to manipulate him. Meanwhile, a terminally ill joker kidnaps Talia and orders Batman to come to him or she dies. Once he arrives the Joker uses Clayface, masquerading as himself, to trick both Talia and Batman, resulting in Talia's death and ultimately the Joker's. It's a powerful ending, with players expecting standard Arkham Asylum fare instead witnessing the death of not one but two major, major characters in the comics, an act which is almost unheard of. The ending is made all the more poignant by the receiving of a voice mail of Joker singing over the end credits. "Only yoooouuuuu" he sings, a disturbing nod towards the twisted relationship that the Joker and Batman develop over their long career. It leaves a bad taste in the mouth.

4. Grand Theft Auto V

There are two big reasons why I think the ending to Rockstar's recent super hit is so good. Firstly, after a story filled with explosive missions parodying hit movies, other games and life in general the game doesn't feel the need to top that in it's ending. There are no giant explosions or huge car chases that are there just to provide a crescendo to the game, no attempt to kill off all the characters in a not-so-subtle statement of "being a criminal is bad" and on the flip side of that there's no kind of non-ending that emphasizes getting back to free roam over drama. Instead you get a choice.

Over the course of the game one of the main characters, Michael, manages to aggravate a few people so much they want to kill him. Another main character, Trevor, does the same thing. This means that all these groups contact Franklin, the only character who doesn't have hitmen on his back, and ask him to kill them. So Franklin has a choice: Kill Michael, kill Trevor or go on a deathwish and try to save both of them? This is of course left up to the player and their choice at this point determines who lives and who dies come the game's final scene. Which brings me to the second reason I love the ending to this game. At the point of choosing, Franklin is presented with three options on his phone. The third of them, marked "death wish" even has a skull and crossbones on it, leading the player to assume that picking it will lead to Franklin's - or possibly everyone's - deaths. In fact, choosing death wish is the only ending where every character makes it out alive, in a brilliantly enacted plan of cunning and tactical assassination. Despite the fact that this ending doesn't have any sudden "this is it" moments, the feeling of gratification you get from saving all the characters is palpable, and it's almost ironic considering that a game in which you can brutally murder anyone and everyone is rewarding you for taking the moral high ground. As for the other endings, well they make you know that you're killing these characters. The game doesn't let you get away with a quick long-distance head shot. You choose to kill Trevor? He ends up being burned alive right in your face. Killing Michael? That results in you catching him as he falls off a building, being given the option to kill or save him, and then watching him die as whatever you picked results in the same thing. Ouch.

3. Halo 4

Halo is already well-renowned for it's totally awesome, white-knuckle final scenes. When I first completed the original, back when it was the only FPS I'd ever played, the final warthog run through a Pillar of Autumn that was slowly disintegrating around you was quite simply the coolest thing ever. The heart-pumping sense of urgency, the incredible visuals and the iconic music all combined to make the most awesomest thing I'd ever seen, and I replayed it over and over again until Halo 3 came out, did it again, but even more amazingly! But neither of those endings are on the list. Instead I chose Halo 4. Why? Because it's personal.

Halo 4, much more than any of the other games in the series, put Master Chief's relationship with Cortana, his series long A.I. companion, at the forefront of the story. She's not supposed to live for more than 7 years, as after that point she begins to break down - essentially going senile - but at the start of the game she's already considerably past that point, and it's starting to show. What follows is a deeply emotional and personal story, as the Chief attempts to stop a crazed ancient alien from wiping out humanity whilst desperately seeking for a way to fix Cortana's slow breakdown. Suffice to say he doesn't manage it. At the end of the game Cortana nobly sacrifices herself to save humanity, in a crushing final scene which leaves the player in shock. It's not easy to get through, but the result is an extraordinary experience.

2. Persona 4

I could easily fill an entire blog about Persona 4. Maybe one day I will, but for now I'll just talk about what's relevant to its ending. If you're a gaming-literate member of IGN you probably know all about persona by now, but in case you don't it's essentially two games in one: A final-fantasy style turn based JRPG and a Japanese high school drama and murder mystery, all rolled into one. It's an incredible mix, with every aspect of the game mixing in with every other aspect to create a game that is utterly unputdownable. In terms of story it starts off fairly simple: You are a second year high school student who, thanks to his parents moving off somewhere for work, has been transferred from the big city of Tokyo to the small country town of Inaba to stay with your unknown uncle for a year. One of the very best things about the game is its near-perfect levels of characterization, with each and every significant character you meet being so well written and believable that you'd be forgiven for thinking that these are real people. They start off as fairly standard stereotypes; the class clown, tomboy, tough guy etc, but as you get to know them through increasing your "social links" they become fully fleshed-out and believable characters who you genuinely like, which just makes the ending all the worse.

Persona 4 has multiple endings depending on the choices you make. Whether or not you can solve the central mystery and, if you solve that one, the even bigger mystery surrounding it all will affect how the game ends, but it's the final scene which gets you. It's nothing dramatic, just a cut scene of you saying goodbye to your friends after a game which, despite being over 60 hours long on my first playthrough, feels so, so short. It's testament to how good the game is that despite playing for hours and hours you still want to keep going, to keep talking to the characters and fighting shadows with them. As podcast beyond's Andrew Goldfarb once said: "If I could by an extra year of Persona 4 Golden as DLC every month, I'd keep playing for ever". When the train finally pulls out of the station, the characters on screen bawling their eyes out as you slowly move away from them, the song kicks in. And then you're just a gibbering wreck on the floor.

1. Mass Effect 2

Of all the games I've ever played, none have had as impactful and emotional an ending as Mass Effect 2. The series has always been praised for its excellent approach to characterization and storytelling, with the fact that you can choose what you say to characters, which relationships you develop and how you outfit your protagonist making each and every playthrough feel like an original and unique experience. In Mass Effect 2 Commander Shepard, your character, finds his or herself working for Cerberus, an elusive pro-human faction not afraid to practice questionable ethics to achieve their goals. These are dark times indeed, but Shepard needs their resources to take down the cellectors, an even more elusive alien race who have been kidnapping humans on colonies near the mysterious Omega-4 relay for reasons unknown. The game ends with an epic raid on the Collector home world, past the relay in the center of the galaxy. After an epic spaceship battle in which the upgrades you may or may not have added to your ship affect whether or not the characters you've built relationships with are casually killed in console explosions or not, you manage to land on their base. What follows is a tense and dramatic mission, in which Shepard must choose the right team members to perform certain tasks based on their skills. You pick a team member not appropriate for the task? They die, simple as that.

After finally reaching the center of the ship you find out what the Collectors have been using humans for - in a particularly harrowing scene they're liquidized to provide genetic material for the construction of a human reaper, a hulking monstrosity of flesh and machine which you promptly blow up, collapsing the platform you're standing on and knocking you out, but not before you set a charge to destroy the station in ten minutes. What follows is a single breathless scene in which you wake up, try to rouse your team and escape the ship before everything explodes. You have no idea if you've made the right choices, or if you'll make it out alive. I think it's easier if I just show it to you.

It still gives me chills, even though I've completed the game multiple times and watched that scene more. In my opinion, a masterpiece of video game storytelling, setting the bar for Mass Effect 3 so high that I don't think it could ever have topped it.

So what did you think? Are these inspired choices from modern gaming or do I not know what I'm talking about? Perhaps a more old-school game has had a deeper impact for you, or a more recent title like Bioshock or the Last of Us - games I didn't add because I've never played them. Let me know.

]]>Fri, 18 Oct 2013 09:20:40 -0700Edithttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/10/18/the-best-game-endings-ive-ever-played#article_commentshttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/10/15/countbastian-vs-candy-box-also-update
I'll start with a very brief update on my profile before I head into the blog. As a small number of you may know from my previous blog post I am now officially a university student, and after the hectic maelstrom of craziness that was my first month I'm now settled down into it, and as such want to get back to blogging and IGN.

I had to make a few decisions before I moved to Uni however, the most difficult of which was what to do with my YouTube channel. I've kept DasBastianVideos going on and off for about 3 years now, but after failing to gain significant popularity I've decided to stop making videos for the channel, on the grounds of "I won't have time at uni" and "the ladies won't think it's cool". I haven't done anything to it though, so it's all still there for your viewing pleasure, if you're really interested.

I originally started my IGN account to promote my channel (something I generally put aside in favor of actual blogging) so now it's gone I've updated my picture and banner as appropriate - the banner I'm particularly proud of. So that's about it, in summary this account is no longer affiliated with my YouTube channel and I'm going to try and be more active on the site, but while I'm here thank you to anyone who voted for my dream game End of Days in 81jono81's competition! It was awesome to see how many people thought my idea was good and here's hoping one day I can get it made! :L

Anyway, thanks for reading.

Moving on...

Count Bastian vs. Candy Box

After becoming intrigued by an article here on IGN I decided to give Candy Box a go this week. I started by clicking, then clicking some more, then leaving my laptop on overnight in order to get MOAR CANDY.

Me on friday.

It's kind of addicting in a really non-addicting way, in that in order for you to be addicted you have to do absolutely nothing. Just plant #dose lollipops and watch as the sweet, sweet candy goodness comes rolling in. There's also a surprisingly in-depth RPG in there as well but whatevs, candy.

I'm the candypimpmerchant!

So far, I've managed to progress through the various quests of the game to the point that I have now reached hell and the game is actually really hard. You have to make the right items, know what to do with them, plus wait for enough candy and lollipops to upgrade your weapons, health and make new stuff. It's kinda cool.

Also there's a talking frog who gives you riddles. The Friddler.

It also has the added benefit of being an extremely passive game in that most of the time you need only leave it open on a tab on your web browser. This gives you the wonderful ability to work and play video games at the same time, something which is normally impossible.

In short, Candy Box is a simple yet complex, easy but hard and utterly engrossing game that everyone should try because it requires minimal effort and is free. Thoughts?

]]>Tue, 15 Oct 2013 14:55:36 -0700Edithttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/10/15/countbastian-vs-candy-box-also-update#article_commentshttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/10/14/strange-new-world-how-to-be-a-gamer-at-university
So about a month ago I moved off to University. This is the part where I'm supposed to say "it's been a time of great change" and what not, but I'm somewhat averse to saying things like that so I'm just going to say yeah, it's pretty fun. I've been doing all the standard Uni things like partying (overrated), having awkward conversations with people I don't know (you get there eventually) and of course, studying. But obviously gaming is far more important than any of those things so how do I find the time to do it? After getting into a groove at Uni I have devised a way to keep gaming going pretty efficiently, and it all boils down to a few important points, which I shall explain to you now.

Before starting I'd like to point out that I am a console gamer primarily, so I took my Xbox 360 down with me, as well as a laptop and PS Vita. I'll be focusing mainly on Xbox for the purposes of this blog though, because that's pretty much the only platform I've been playing on.

So gaming in split up into two pretty distinct categories at Uni, the first of which is...

1. Socialising

Gaming can be a fantastic catalyst for friend making at University. Whereas in earlier education talking about games all the time could label you a nerd, doing so at Uni does the same thing, but nobody cares. So it's great. To that end there are a few games any console gamer should have in their arsenal for those times when people are in your accommodation and you need to get some socialising in.

Yeah! Socialising!

Popular games

Case in point: FIFA 14, Call of Duty: Black Ops 2, Grand Theft Auto V

I don't care how pretentious about gaming you are, when you have people in your flat who haven't heard of any of the games in your "incredibly vague JRPGs" collection and can't tell their Fallout from their Mass Effect you're gonna need a crowd pleaser to keep 'em all entertained. In this situation there is simply nothing better than the latest blockbuster like FIFA (or if you're in America Madden or NBA), Call of Duty or Grand Theft Auto. I myself have been using Grand Theft Auto V to great effect, passing the controller around as each person takes it in turns to go on a mad rampage and staring in horror as my hard-earned money goes down the drain on medical bills. In general, a popular game that everybody knows about will keep people entertained while you get in some of that Uni friend making.

You're paying for a new Adder.

Party Games

Case in point: Doritos Crash Course

Admittedly the Xbox isn't a fantastic platform for casual party games, hence why I could only think of one example, but for a situation where you have people with little to no experience or interest in gaming in your flat, demanding to play on your game box, Doritos Crash Course is the perfect choice. It's simple, fun, four player split screen and best of all, free. Now all you have to do is convince them that no, Injustice: Gods among us isn't nerdy and yeah, they'd totally be able to beat you with no experience playing fighting games.

I play casually.

Hyper-Competitive Games

Case in point: Persona 4 Arena, Halo 4, Call of Duty

Now you've bonded with some new friends over GTA and FIFA, it's time to immediately destroy that bond by playing games in which you beat the living daylights out of each other over and over again, screaming in mad anger until people from other flats come over and tell you to shut up because it's like 2 in the morning and jeez, they've got lectures tomorrow morning. And to achieve that goal what better than Persona 4 Arena? Its benefits are two-fold: 1. It makes people think you're a gaming connoisseur because you know all these super-vague games that they've never heard of, and 2. You're much better at it than them. What follows is a swift, merciless, ego-boosting beat-down of everybody in the room, all while you laugh manically at their inability to combo or block your relentless chair smashing. Good times.

Games like Halo and Call of Duty also work well for this, with a more level playing field allowing for long tournaments that last well into the night. Possibly. I mean I haven't done that yet, I've been too busy partying.

Correction: Par-taying.

2. By yourself

So these games are all well and good for when you have people in your room and you need a social catalyst, but what about when you're by yourself? Odds are you'll have a significant amount of free time where you're not really doing anything and you need a game you can reliably call on to keep yourself entertained. Here they are.

BIG Games

Case in point: Borderlands 2, Diablo 3, Persona 4 Golden

Generally money's pretty tight at uni, which means you won't be able to spend lots of it on the latest games whenever they come out - you need to pick carefully. Buying the latest blockbuster may be good fun, but odds are you won't get much more than a single 8-hour play-through out of it before it's on the shelf, ready for a replay in, like, two years. Sooooo, your best bet is to get a game which a) is really long, or b) has a hell of a lot of replayabilty. Take Borderlands 2, for example. When I've got some spare time I like to get some level grinding in on Pandora, and the joy of it is that I can jump straight in, play for as long as I want, and still have tons of content left to get through by the end of it. Similarly, Diablo 3 offers hundreds of hours of fighting, looting and exploration, meaning the game can last you an entire term without you running out of things to do. In the same vein Persona 4 Golden (for you Vita owners) will essentially last you forever thanks to it's super-long play time and useful "day in the life" gameplay mechanic which handily splits up the game into smaller chunks. Although good luck stopping playing just one day in a session, that is just not happening.

I can't be studying for exams, I have to increase my intelligence level!

Online Multiplayer Games

Case in point: Call of Duty: Black Ops 2, Halo 4, Battlefield 3

There are two main benefits of having an online multiplayer game like those above at uni. Firstly, like the other games I've mentioned, they offer an extremely large amount of playtime where individual sessions can last for as little as fifteen minutes to as much as several hours, and secondly they enable you to play with friends you left going to uni or uni friends who are too lazy to come over. I'll also note that the games I've mentioned are all big-budget shooters, and other games are available. Like racing games or something.

Racing games. Yeah.

So that pretty much sums up how gaming works for me at uni. Do comment if you're a fellow uni goer and have come up with another ingenious way to keep that nerdiest of professions going, or just have some thoughts on how it could be improved. Cheers!

]]>Mon, 14 Oct 2013 14:18:45 -0700Edithttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/10/14/strange-new-world-how-to-be-a-gamer-at-university#article_commentshttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/09/26/new-persona-fighting-game-announced
Atlus and Arc System Works have officially announced Persona 4: The Ultimax Ultra Suplex Hold, perhaps the best named sequel in video game history. As a huge fan of Persona 4 and Arena I can barely contain my excitement for this, which is why I'm posting it here so everyone else can see it! Hype!

This appears to be the official announcement for the P4U update announced a while back, so expect 3 new characters and shadow types for the existing ones. So, so awesome.

]]>Thu, 26 Sep 2013 09:33:44 -0700Edithttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/09/26/new-persona-fighting-game-announced#article_commentshttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/09/12/count-bastians-dream-game-end-of-days
So this is essentially a co-op survival horror game which I think would be perfect for next-gen consoles. As I'm nowhere skilled enough with Photoshop to create some kind of image to describe it, I will attempt to show you what the game would be like to play in the following story. Be warned, I'm about to get all literary on your asses.

Begin game. The player is a heavily-outfitted soldier dressed entirely in black, on board a black hawk helicopter flying over a dense forest. The game is played from a third-person over-the-shoulder perspective, with a minimalist hud reminiscent of Tom Clancy's the Division. From the helicopter the player can see his squad mates sitting with him/her, as well as the tops of the trees in the forest; tall, dark conifers bathed in the blood-red glow of the setting sun. The sound of the game is melancholy; the soldiers don't talk to each other, all the player can hear is the dulled sound of the helicopter and the rustling of leaves in the wind, followed by the slow addition of music very similar to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lAfMT5FIZE.

As the music reaches a crescendo the soldiers leave the helicopter via rope to the forest floor, immediately plunged into darkness and silence. At this point the player can choose between various different goggles such as night vision, infrared and sonar, as well as a simple torch. Here, they choose night vision. The player and their team slowly spread out, searching for areas of interest and potential threats, rifles raised. Teamwork is crucial in this game - without total awareness of surroundings a group can easily be surrounded and eliminated by a variety of threats, so the players are constantly talking to each other, calling out positions and areas.

It's hard for the player to detect movement in their environment, due largely to uncooperative weather conditions. Wind is causing leaves and twigs to constantly move across the player's field of view, and rays of light from the setting sun form elongated, human-like shadows as well as glare which can cause brief blindness. Nether-the-less, the player can detect... something, up ahead. Warps in shadows and irregular leaf movements, brief as they are, allow the player to notice something out of the ordinary. The lack of birds singing in the trees sets off alarm bells for the player, they know what they're dealing with. The player calls to their team to change their viewing mode, as what they're dealing with is most likely invisible. After saying this the player changes to infrared mode, allowing them to detect heat signatures instead of light. Doing so puts the surroundings in darkness, but clearly shows the presence of a human-like creature... standing less than a meter away from them. It's tall, around 6ft, with elongated fingers and a much larger head than a human. It's standing still, staring at the player and occasionally cocking its head to one side, making no sound. In the split-second it takes for the player to notice this they have to prevent any knee-jerk reactions, as sudden movement or noise on their part will provoke the creature to attack, something which'd be fatal at such a short distance. Suppressing the urge to scream or run, the player stays still and calmly tells a team member with a silenced weapon to take it out with a headshot. They've dealt with this before, and they know that using a loud gun will attract more, as will allowing it to wail as it's shot. Seconds after issuing the command the creature drops silently to the floor, motionless.

The player moves to the body and uses a special kit to take tissue samples for use back at the lab, in a process which takes around 10 seconds and leaves them open to attack. As they finish they hear the gut-wrenching sound of a gunshot followed by a yell from another team mate; they got surprised in the same way and couldn't stop themselves from shooting. Soon after, the team hears a series of high-pitched wails and clicks from all directions, and can see countless figures swaying towards them from the trees, surrounding them in an ever-closing circle. Trapped with nowhere to go, the team moves together, back-to-back, and prepares to fire. Odds are they aren't making it out of this alive...

So in a nutshell the game is a third-person, co-op focused tactical survival horror shooter, incorporating elements from games like left 4 dead, mass effect, rainbow six and indie horror games like slender. Set in Germany (a place I find to be very atmospheric, especially in the autumn) It focuses primarily on your squad as they investigate increased occurrences of paranormal phenomenon, attempting to eliminate the varied and terrifying threats which have started appearing across the country.

If I were to list its main features, they would be:

Tense, atmospheric gameplay which rewards the ability to overcome fear

A wide variety of threats which your squad can encounter - from zombies to ghosts to x files-style grays to monsters straight out of the depths of lovecraftian mythology, all have their own unique ways of testing your physical and mental limits and must be overcome through observation and analysis of behavior and weaknesses

An extremely in-depth loadout system - picking the right equipment is essential to a team's survival, with some items being extremely effective v. certain threats and totally useless on others

Total character customisation: you can pick your character's gender, looks, sound, animations, clothes, armor and equipment with an extremely wide variety of choices unlocked as you play

The intel system: as you keep fighting the same enemy type and taking samples you learn more about them, allowing you to perfect your tactics and research new equipment

Randomly generated environments, meaning no two encounters are ever the same

The game's main story is told in-game through the things you encounter in missions, but rather than have a cast of characters explaining things to you as you go along the team is invited to become the cast, trying to identify the causes of apparently unconnected paranormal incidents. These aren't obvious though - a team will have to act as skilled detectives and it's entirely possible for a player to complete the entire story without picking up on what's going on. The story's standard horror missions would be complemented by mission more epic in scope, such as an alien invasion on a city or monster attack in a town. These missions would swap the horror element for something more akin to dread, as the players realise the scope of what's happening and how they can't contain it any more. The game's ending would depend on how well the players understand what's happening in the story, as they'd be asked to choose an end-game plan which may or may not be correct. Do they believe that the aliens are controlling everything, so an attempt to get themselves abducted and attack the mothership is the best plan? Or perhaps the problem lies with a pan-dimensional rift which must be closed at all costs? These less horror-oriented missions would serve to refresh the experience and complement the scary moments, building up to an epic finale in which the future of humanity is at stake.

The main focus of the game isn't the story, however. It's the multiplayer.

Multiplayer games would be structured very similarly to missions in the story: a co-op team is sent in to an area to complete a specific objective and get out, in the fastest and most efficient way possible. There would be the standard suite of modes like object retrieval and survival, but the real meat of the game would come from the ability to create levels and share them online. The game would feature a wide variety of level types and threats, so by allowing the player to create their own levels with objectives, enemies and events, they can make whole new experiences which other players can play and rate. Below are a few examples of the kind of levels that could be made:

As in the example above, a team is sent into a remote area of the Black Forest, where they encounter strange invisible creatures. The team has to find out where the creatures are coming from and collect enough tissue samples before escaping.

The team is sent in to a rural village to clear out a zombie infestation and identify the source. Soon after entering they encounter a group of aliens, and a desperate fight for survival ensues as the team must improvise with ineffective equipment to fight a foe capable of extreme psychological trauma.

In downtown Berlin the team must fend off an attack from pan-dimensional creatures straight out of the Mist, attempting to minimize civilian casualties and stay focused when encountering the kind of sights that would turn lesser men insane.

In an abandoned factory in Munich the team faces a single creature about to emerge from a giant cocoon. With all equipment seemingly useless against it, it's a race against time to find a way to kill it before it hatches, dealing untold damage to the city.

In terms of aesthetic, the game would feature stylized realism, in an autumnal Germany. This means long shadows, blood-red or bleached-grey skies, leaves blowing in the wind... an environment which seems real, but also wouldn't seem out of place in a horror movie. Music duties would go to Clint Mansel (he wrote the theme to Moon, the piece I linked previously), as I feel his music would suit the weary, melancholic feel of the game. This isn't an in-your-face jump scares horror game: it preys on you, gets under your skin, makes you feel like you're in control when in reality you're one yelp away from turning into a zombie and having your friends shoot you, having your throat torn out by an invisible alien, or having a million spiders hatch out of your stomach before you die in horrible agony. It's not for the faint of heart.

I'd forgotten that they announced new Infinity Blade's at Apple conferences, so when Donald Mustard showed up on stage at the conference a few days ago I immediately and uncontrollably sobbed for like, a solid 5 minutes. I'm a fan.

A "I have a poster signed by the dev team" kind of fan. Be jealous.

Infinity Blade 3 kinda looks... awesome, really. I've watched the trailer a fair few times now, and each time I watched it I could find another reason to get super hyped about this game. Massive open worlds, a giant dragon, playing as two different characters, the epic story conclusion, hell, even John Noble's in the game, and he's great!

As for the rest of the conference, I give a resounding meh. First off, I was bitterly, bitterly disappointed that iOS 7 wasn't being released on conference day, and that I'll have to wait another week to get my hands on its sweet minimalist goodness. Gutting. I also didn't think too much of the new iPhones, especially the 5C, which is a "budget" phone for more than the standard iPhone 5 would cost if it had the standard new phone price drop. Oddly enough, the standard iPhone 5 won't be sold anymore, so people who want the previous generation will actually have to pay more for the 5C, a phone which looks ridiculous "fun".

Someone tell the 70s they can have their phones back!

As for the 5S, it just looked like it wasn't much better. I mean yeah, there's a fingerprint scanner which is cool for about 5 seconds before you realise they're actually not that interesting, so that's great, but otherwise it's just the usual processor upgrade. Hell, they haven't even bumped up the resolution. As an iPhone 5 user (#swag) I'm not inclined to upgrade to the 5S or downgrade change to the 5C any time soon.

Thoughts?

]]>Wed, 11 Sep 2013 17:01:49 -0700Edithttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/09/11/infinity-blade-and-why-the-iphone-5c-is-so-bad#article_commentshttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/09/10/infinity-blade-iii-announced-see-you-in-6-months
About half an hour ago Chair announced Infinity Blade III, the final part of the best game series on iOS and it looks brilliant.

Currently advertised features include the ability to play as both Siris and Isa (characters from the second game), a giant open world massively bigger than the previous games' and, obviously, bitchin' graphics. The trailer is one of the best I've seen for a game in a while. Hype!!!

]]>Tue, 10 Sep 2013 11:25:01 -0700Edithttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/09/10/infinity-blade-iii-announced-see-you-in-6-months#article_commentshttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/09/08/video-game-expendables-constructing-the-dream-team
I read an article by mikeerik here on IGN recently about his choices for an Expendables-like team of video game characters which would make for an awesome movie or game. This inspired me enough to shamelessly rip it off and make my own, so below are my choices for the video game expendables and why. Enjoy!

Be warned, there are very mild spoilers for the plots of the games some of these characters are involved in.

1. Leon S. Kennedy - Resident Evil

I don't care what they say, formal shoes are the ideal wear for zombie fighting.

I don't particularly like the Expendables movies, but I do like Resident Evil, and Leon S. Kennedy is one of the main reasons.

Perhaps the embodiment of "awesome zombie hunter ladies man", Leon is never afraid to spout inappropriate one-liners at zombies, horrific bio-organic weapons, parasitically infected eastern Europeans or Ada Wong, all whilst being the only person in the world capable of rocking the emo cut and still get the ladies. The thing that solidifies Leon as the first member of my team is not his expertise with firearms, ability to quip at zombies hours into a hellish biological apocalypse nor his inherent stylishness. It is simply that bit in Resident Evil: Damnation when he goes "Tsch... women". A line so good they named an RE6 achievement after it.

You touched the hair. Now die.

2. The protagonist - Persona 4

While searching this picture I found pictures of cosplayers of him. Persona is forever ruined.

His official name is Yu Narukami, but any of you who have played Persona 4 or, as I have, its Vita remake Golden, will know him by whatever name you chose. Forget both of those.

His real name is Bastian Hidatchi and anyone who disputes it thus will receive an immediate slap to the face. My hand will come out of your monitor and slap you. In the face.

That aside, this guys oozes coolness. He invented it. If you look up swag in the dictionary you will find a picture of his face. He is fully capable of transferring to a remote Japanese village where no one's heard of him and go out with every girl he knows, at the same time, within the year.He will do all this while wearing a pop collar, using a hidden side of himself to fight shadow monsters inside a TV world, improving the lives of numerous people in the town, and being a 17 year old who has grey hair. Calm down.

And those piercing grey eyes.

In short, no bitchin' gaming team would be worth its salt without him, but it can be a burden as his presence makes everyone else look bad.

3. Agent Spin - Elite Beat Agents

Aaaaawww yeeeeeea.

There's very little I have to say to describe this guy that isn't immediately apparent from the picture. He wears sunglasses, upside-down over-ear headphones and a suit, and he's incredible. This is a government agent who responds to a crisis which has reached breaking point by dancing, dancing so smooth that he can motivate someone to overcome any obstacle, be it asking out a potential boyfriend whilst trying to handle some troublesome toddlers or saving a young boy from a giant fire-breathing golem in a theme park. No matter what trouble my team finds itself in in their numerous movies they can rest assured that Spin will have the perfect tune and the perfect moves to help them beat anything.

4. A Monster Hunter - Monster Hunter

Flame sword! Point invalid!

Monster Hunter is one of my favorite gaming franchises of all time, and it's certainly my most cherished. Only problem is I'm not sure which part of the series resonates with me the most. Is it dressing up a pig and hugging it until it loves you? Employing cats to cook your food for you? Having a cat with you to help you fight? Or perhaps it's the fighting giant, awesome monsters with the most totally awesome armor and weapons ever conceived in a video game? I'll never know the answer, but what I do know is a Monster Hunter is a must have on my team. By my logic, if you can fight a giant dragon dinosaur and win, you can be in the team.

Or just, you know, tame the dragon. Whatever.

5. Mikasa - the Attack on Titan fan game

I'm starting to dread looking up images of these characters. The results are mostly disturbing.

Before I start on this one I want to point out that the Attack on Titan fan game is totally awesome, totally free and you can play it here: http://fenglee.com/game/aog/.

Anime has never been a staple of my TV diet. True, I've always liked the art style and am a big fan of Studio Ghibli's movies, but my viewing experience outside of those has previously been limited to a brief fascination with One Piece and whatever crap 4kids used to edit. Nevertheless I decided to try Attack on Titan after hearing good things about it from you guys on IGN and was immediately hooked. The main thing that does it for me is the fact that the 3D-maneuver gear used by the soldiers in the show is perhaps the most brilliant (and hilariously impractical, as you quickly find out playing the game) way of moving anywhere, ever. Couple this with the dual swords used to attack the aforementioned titans and you have the recipe for a great, super difficult and super addicting game.

As for Mikasa, she is easily my favorite character in the show (and the default character in the game) for many reasons, the main ones being:

Inherent awesomeness

Eren whines too much

She's not overtly sexualised a'la a lot of female characters in anime and gaming

The scarf

If Leon's shooting everything, Hidatchi's swagging it out with a katana, Spin's bustin' a move and the Monster Hunter is hunting Monsters, Mikasa will be shooting around everywhere at blistering speeds, calmly and coolly cutting the necks out of anything that moves and is over 6 metres tall. And has a neck. She's also the first female team member, which proves I'm not a sexist.

Just lonely.

6. Ada Wong - Resident Evil

No, she will not marry you.

I spent a while (read: 5 seconds) trying to decide whether to pick Leon or Ada as my Resident Evil member, and ended up picking both. The fact of the matter is I feel equally awesome running at zombies and kicking them in the face as Leon as I do suavely strolling up to them and putting an arrow through their head as Ada. In Resident Evil 6 (my only experience playing as her) Ada is an enigmatic, elegant and mysterious agent who spends most of her time being condescending to the bad guy, deliberately not explaining things to people and playing hard-to-get with Leon. What's not to like?

When I play as Ada in Resident Evil 6 the character turns around and gives me disapproving looks whenever I move faster than a stroll. She is so insanely dignified and intelligent that I feel I have personally let her down when I miss a shot. Her idle animation is crossing her arms and rolling her eyes at everything. You get the point. In fact, the only time she's not being super elegant is when she's unconscious in Leon's arms, which is surprisingly touching for a game featuring a man who turns into a dinosaur.

Despite her numerous douchey traits Ada still gets a spot in the team because dammit, she's Ada Wong and despite being somewhat over-sexualised in the games it's kind of cancelled out by the fact that she's effortlessly more intelligent and cool than any other character in RE6 and, in fairness, Leon shows just as much cleavage as she does. Seriously, scroll up.

Also, she has a cube as a phone.

7. Isaac Clarke - Dead Space

Not pictured: Plasma Cutter aimed at your crotch.

Dead Space is one of my favorite games of all time. It embodies what I love about sci-fi: the terror of the unknown, deep space exploration, the nostromo-like USG Ishimura and the ancient, horrific alien menace. It was one of the first horror experiences I ever had in my life, before I watched Alien or any of the numerous sci-fi classics which inspired it and it scared the crap out of me. It was brilliant.

Being the main protagonist of one of my favorite ever games, you can tell in how high a regard I hold Isaac Clarke. In the original Dead Space he was an everyman, a (mostly) faceless guy scared out of his mind whom the player could relate to and sympathize for as more and more things went horrifically wrong for him. In the sequels he's brought to life by the excellent voice acting and mocap of Gunner Wright. He becomes a real person who, despite now having a story, character arc and two love interests (only one of which is a apparition of his mind!) is still relatable and sympathetic.

Most importantly though, Isaac Clarke is a badass. He is an intergalactic badass. You can throw him inside the bowels of hell itself with nothing but a RIG and a torch and he'll get out of there with a fully loaded chain gun he built himself from wood and power nodes and only mild dementia to say for it. He is a survivor, and an awesome one at that.

"Three narrow eye slits are all I need to cut your arms off."

8. Siris - Infinity Blade

Padrie. Decavonse.

Very rarely does a platform have an undisputed "best" game among gaming aficionados, but somehow Infinity Blade managed to do it on IOS. I played it near-constantly. I loved the unique premise, beautifully rendered environments, atmospheric soundtrack, intuitive gameplay and awesome armor and weapons. Then Infinity Blade 2 came out and somehow managed to be better than the original in every way. I still don't know how they did it.

In the transition from the last best game on IOS to the current best game on IOS the main character of the game went from "nameless bloke what is the son of the nameless bloke who just died" to "Siris, immortal badass who also happens to be a master swordsman". He can wield pretty much any weapon and be able to smash a giant's face in with it, and still pull a cool pose immediately afterwards. Every time. Needless to say he's great, and has some pretty cheesy lines to boot.

"WHAT HAVE I DONE!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

9. Rocket Racer - Lego Racers

This guy...

Lego Racers is one of the first games I ever played, which makes Rocket Racer one of the first final bosses I ever faced in a game. To reach this guy you have to race that asshole vampire with all the bats, the douche bag alien who constantly rocket boosts and the damnable pirate who constantly shoots cannons at you. Then there's Rocket Racer.

Imagine playing a racing game where one of the ai constantly teleports in front of you, all the time. That's exactly what happens when you race him, and the feeling of "screw you" when you win is palpable. So Rocket Racer is the final member of my Video Game expendables team because he has a teleporting rocket car (which looks awesome) and he's the embodiment of a douche. Sorted.

So what do you guys think? Any characters you agree with or would change? Who would you have in your Video Game Expendables? Greatly interested to hear other people's ideas, and don't forget to check out mikeerik's team as well.

]]>Sun, 08 Sep 2013 19:15:21 -0700Edithttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/09/08/video-game-expendables-constructing-the-dream-team#article_commentshttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/09/03/left-4-dead-2-and-the-art-of-the-steam-workshop
I've been finding myself with some pretty empty evenings at the moment, which may be due to the fact that I'm on holiday. Regardless, this sudden void of interest has led me down some pretty creative gaming-based avenues in a vain attempt to keep myself entertained during those long, exceedingly stuffy nights. The most interesting of these aforementioned avenues would be Left 4 Dead 2 based.

Basically, I dived into the steam workshop for the game and downloaded, among other items:

A complete character re-skin so everyone looks like RE6 characters, which is brilliant.

A pack which turns every common zombie into a zenomorph from alien, complete with sound effects, which is just the best thing ever.

I then proceeded to play this in the background...

And got to work. A simple, yet effective way to waste 124 5 hours. Now if only I could get my laptop to play the game above 20 fps...

]]>Tue, 03 Sep 2013 15:00:40 -0700Edithttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/09/03/left-4-dead-2-and-the-art-of-the-steam-workshop#article_commentshttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/09/01/ign-oscar-bait-monster-hunter-on-vita-and-persona-3-woes
So it's close to midnight on a Sunday evening and as I've managed to run out of literally everything else to do (up to and including toying with a statue of Anubis) I thought I'd try and write something. Unfortunately I don't know what that is just yet so I'll try and make something up as I go along.

Hmmm... after little thought, I'm just gonna talk about some random subjects for a bit and then we can all go home. Sound good? Excellent.

1. IGN Oscar bait, it's a thing!

If you frequent the blogs section of IGN at all regularly you may notice articles that seem out of place somehow. You can't quite put your finger on it, but something about them unsettles you. They just seem... different.

A few hours later you're back on the front page and low and behold, one of those articles has taken pride and place on the front page!

The King's Speech of IGN blogs. Ladies...

Yes it seems we're currently enjoying the age of people, including me, copying the list format of various popular websites *cough* cracked *cough* and putting them in blogs in the hope of getting on IGN's front page. And it works, so go do it, I guess.

2. Sony and not giving me Monster Hunter

It's not really funny anymore. I bought a PS Vita AT LAUNCH assuming a Monster Hunter would be released on it within the year, as it's one of my favorite gaming franchises of all time and was very popular on psp.

Up there with Persona and Lego® Racers.

It's now been like a year and a half (close enough) and have I seen a Vita version of Monster Hunter? Have I bollocks. Sony are all like "aren't we the best! We gave you borderlands 2 on Vita!" Well woo-dee-frickin'-who! Does Borderlands 2 have adorable pigs in pajamas, cats which cook your food, monster hunting? No. No it doesn't. And before you say it no, the psp freedom series played on Vita doesn't count, because if I play those on my vita it makes me sad that the graphics aren't better.

Who at Capcom thought "Here's a bloody great idea! Let's not take the psp version of the kickassery that is monster hunter, give it bitchin' graphics and make the best vita game ever, let's in fact lower the graphics and put the whole bloody thing on Nintendo 3DS! You know, the one with controls less convenient for the series and a screen that hurts your eyes!" God Dammit! Why!!!??? In fact, Capcom seem to have opted out of the current generation entirely (with the exception of Frontier, a Japan-only Xbox MMO with graphics that look like the PS2), so unless they release what can only be described as the GREATEST GAME EVER on PS4, with VITA CROSS-PLAY I will personally go over to their offices and give them what-for. Grrr.

3. Persona 3 woes

Finally, I've had a small (minor!) obsession with Persona 4 Golden recently, and after hearing about its merits also want to give Persona 3 a try. Unfortunately Persona 3 comes in two conflicting "best" versions: FES and Portable. FES is a PS2 game with anime cutscenes and an extended ending (which I hear ruins it), whereas portable is a psp game with improved features from P4 and the ability to play as a girl (sheeeeet). I would go for Portable as I can download and play it on my Vita, but it doesn't have the cutscenes or free-roaming of FES, instead being shown as a graphic novel. I made up my mind to get portable as the movement restrictions don't bother me much and the cutscenes are on youtube, but obviously the price has been raised from a respectable £12 to a ridiculous £23 on the PS store. Of course it has.

WHERE IS MY DAMNABLE MONSTER HUNTER

ON MY DAMNABLE PS VITA

GIVE IT TO ME NOW, GOD DAMMIT

Maybe on ps4 as well. That is all.

]]>Sun, 01 Sep 2013 14:59:57 -0700Edithttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/09/01/sony-asks-us-what-we-want-on-their-consoles-here-is-the-only-logical-response#article_commentshttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/08/24/the-persona-4-arena-rambling-continues
I got round to making, editing and uploading another two episodes of my series Persona 4 Arena: Highlights today so if you have the time please check them out! I'd like to think they're some of the best things I've done on YouTube so any feedback would be greatly appreciated. Cheers!

Highlights of highlights include wondering why one character only bothered to wear just a tie and weirding myself out over virtual girlfriends.

]]>Sat, 24 Aug 2013 10:00:33 -0700Edithttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/08/24/the-persona-4-arena-rambling-continues#article_commentshttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/08/21/a-long-term-vita-owners-reaction-to-sony-at-gamescom
I always thought it was Gamescon... like Comic-Con, but apparently it's an "m". Surprises.

Good going dumbass.

So Sony had a whole suite of announcements for the PS Vita at Gamescom this year in an attempt to revive sales of the troubled console and keep current owners playing. As a Vita owner since launch I had a mixed reaction to the conference, and by explaining my opinion here I hope to give you a clearer view of the relationship Sony has kept with the owners of its handheld over a year of mediocre-ness-ness and half-baked releases.

Just one thing first.

There's one small item I want to get out of the way before I start my faux-review: I spent the entirety of the conference mentally screaming "PERSONA!!!" in my head. Since getting Persona 4 Golden a month ago it's become my latest obsession, and I've spent far too much time playing it and its Xbox sequel, Persona 4 Arena. At this point whenever I hear the word "Vita" I immediately and frantically start searching for anything even remotely related to Atlus' jrpg, regardless of probability or sense (Give us Persona 3 Vita Atlus!). Mentioning this now means a) - you now understand why, in the absence of a new Persona, anything and everything else announced is a bitter disappointment, and b) - I don't have to mention Persona for the rest of this post. I knew there was an approximately 0% chance of a Persona-related announcement, but... I can dream.

Apparently driving to Okina City doesn't count as "getting out more".

So now that's out of the way I will properly begin this post.

1. Hardware announcements

There were 3 main announcements regarding the Vita's actual hardware at Gamescom. Sony announced that the Vita and its memory cards will be getting a significant price drop, bundles including a Vita and a collection of games on a memory card will be sold at a discount, and also showed off the Vita being used to play PS4 games via remote play.

With regards to the price drop, I'm certainly happy to see it. Although I already own a Vita purchased for full price, the drop for memory cards will be more than welcome considering their frankly ridiculous cost since launch. I speak with some trepidation though - Sony have yet to give the exact amount that cards will cost, stating only that it will be "significant". Hopefully this doesn't mean it's going down by a penny or something. Hopefully.

I'm glad to see the console and game bundles being release as well - anything which will increase Vita sales is good as more sales = better games. These bundles are also being sold software-only, which is a nice way of acknowledging the existence of us existing console owners.

Price drops and bundles are all good, but what really intrigues me hardware-wise is the Vita's remote play capabilities with the PS4. Currently I'm an Xbox owner, but I plan on jumping ship to Sony for next-gen (read: Xbone sucks) and remote play is one of the main reasons. At first I was worried that PS4 remote play would be like PS3 remote play: you can do it, but on, like, 5 games. Thankfully, Sony have assured us that nearly every PS4 game released (with the obvious exception of Move-based games) will be compatible with Vita remote play from the off, and a cool demo of Assassin's Creed 4 proved it. Currently the only thing remaining unclarified is how you initialize it, with the conference conspicuously showing a jump-cut to Vita rather than the syncing of each console.

Hopefully setting up PS4-Vita remote play won't be more trouble than it's worth.

So that was about it in terms of Hardware announcements, but what about software? The eagerly-anticipated Killzone: Mercenary is being released next month, are any more AAA titles on the horizon for us to look forward to? The answer is... kind of.

2. Software

Sony was all about Indie in terms of games announcements at Gamescom, with no fewer than 8 games by independent developers being announced during the press conference. Stand-outs included the new game from the creator of Thomas was Alone and Resogun, a sequel to the PS3 hit super stardust. If you're a fan of indie that's great news.

Indie games are the best source for fresh and innovative experiences that, more often than not, you won't find in any other game. Personally, however, I'm not the biggest fan of Indie games. I prefer blockbuster titles with lots of depth and replayability, and although these traits exist in the Indie scene more often than not I'm left wanting more. I am in fact becoming increasingly worried that Sony are making the Vita an almost exclusively Indie platform, instead peddling remote play with the PS4 for people like me who want more AAA in their games. Thankfully though there were two big game announcements out of Gamescom that interested me: Bigfest and Borderlands 2.

Bigfest is an intriguing title. Essentially Sim City for music festivals, it allows players to create and mange their own festival, designing the buildings, managing customer satisfaction and picking your own set list, all the while exploring and rating festivals made by other people. In a stroke of genius Bigfest has licensed music from real-world bands on the cusp of being the next big thing, so by playing the game you can actively discover new music to listen to elsewhere - as a bona-fide indie music douchebag this excites me immeasurably.

What remains to be seen though is wether all of Bigfest's licensed music is from unknown bands, or if some of it is more mainstream.

If Get Lucky isn't in there somewhere bad things will happen.

As other upcoming Vita titles (Tearaway, Football manager) failed to pique my interest the last announcement I want to mention here is a Vita version of Gearbox's Borderlands 2. I've had the game on my Xbox since february this year and have enjoyed it, despite not completing it due to the usual problem of playing coop with really high level guys so you get really far and ultimately everyone's a way higher level than you so you can't beat them. Breathe. Hopefully though a Vita version will bring me back to it - the prospect of playing a full console game on the move is very cool, especially one with such high replayability.

Don't expect to see it in shops soon though - if the simple placard-based announcement is anything to go by development still has a ways to go.

So there you have it, my thoughts and impressions of PS Vita at Gamescom. Although I wasn't blown over by the game announcements (read: where is Persona 3 Vita, Persona 5, Persona literally anything) the console and memory card price drops, coupled with game bundles and the prospect of PS4 remote play will hopefully bring more users to my much-loved but under-used system, which will in turn lead to more good games. Like Persona.

What about you guys? Are there any other Vita owners out there who share my opinions? Perhaps you were more interested in the indie games, or maybe you thought it all sucked? Any comments and responses will be read enthusiastically and with interest. Thanks for reading!

]]>Wed, 21 Aug 2013 13:41:52 -0700Edithttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/08/21/a-long-term-vita-owners-reaction-to-sony-at-gamescom#article_commentshttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/08/10/the-vita-and-i-the-heartwarming-story-of-one-man-and-his-portable
Since its release the PS Vita has been one of those consoles trapped in an endless limbo of good hardware, no games. As the topic of "Is the Vita worth buying?" keeps coming up I, as someone who bought it at launch, thought I'd share my experiences with the console for the year-and-a-bit I've had it, and hopefully give some more insight into the world of Sony's troubled handheld.

February, 2012

The PS Vita was released on February 22, 2012. I got it about a week later as a birthday present. Specifically I received the wi-fi only model, an absurdly overpriced 8GB memory card (you can get a 32GB SD card for the same price!!) and a copy of Uncharted: Golden Abyss in disk form.

Originally I wanted the Vita in the hope that a Monster Hunter would soon be released for it. As a huge fan of Freedom 1, 2 and unite on the PSP I was super hyped to see what the game would be like with the superior graphics and controls of the vita. Bearing in mind that this was before the announcement of Monster Hunter 4 and nobody had any idea that the series had jumped ship to Nintendo, so the assumption that a MH would be coming to Vita after seeing success on the PSP was a good one.

April, 2012

As the weeks went by and my endless googling of "Monster Hunter Vita" continued to show no news, I started to realise that getting a Vita specifically for an as-yet unannounced game was perhaps not the best idea I've ever had. Having played and completed Golden Abyss numerous times I decided to get a new game for the system in the form of Wipeout 2048, another Vita launch title. Wipeout is a great game, and I got many hours of play out of it, but it's not what you'd call a system seller. Same goes for golden abyss.

Wipeout's great, but it's not a system seller.

For a month or so after having my fill of wipeout I tided myself over with various demos, including Unit 13, Resistance: Burning skies and Fifa football. As the weeks went by no games I tried seemed good enough to warrant spending money on them, and eventually my Vita began gathering dust.

December, 2012

I arbitrarily decided to get my Vita back out in December last year, and after remembering just how good the hardware was I resolved to buy a game, any game, in an attempt to extend its life. That game turned out to be Playstation All-stars: Battle Royale. Not a bad game by any means, I got a lot out of it, playing online and with my friend who also bought the game on his vita.

After buying All-stars I decided to get a free trial for PS plus. Playing the excellent Gravity Rush for free was good fun, but ultimately the offers didn't seem worth the price (I don't own a PS3, which has a much better deal from PS Plus) so I got rid of it before I had to pay anything.

Despite my best efforts a severe lack of good games led to my Vita once again becoming obsolete, and it returned to the drawer of misery.

July, 2013

This summer, thanks to the relentless onslaught of holiday boredom, I decided to buy another Vita game, but this time I decided to do some research. After an exhaustive search through lists of "best PS Vita games eva" all over the internet I settled on the risky choice of Persona 4: Golden. I say risky as in the past I haven't been a huge fan of JRPGs, with the exception of the aforementioned Monster Hunter and Dark Souls, and my experience with Anime is limited to say the least - a brief fascination with One Piece is about it. So I decided to leave my gaming comfort zone of modern shooters and explosions to enter the totally bonkers world of Persona - and loved it.

This is one of the least bonkers things that happens in Persona.

I completed P4G in two weeks, notching up a 60-hour gametime in the process and finding a new entry in the list of my favorite games of all time. At the moment I'm still playing it and my Vita is most definitely in heavy use right now. Only problem is I like Persona so much I can't see how any other games on Vita are going to be able to compare to its Japanese brilliance...

The future (woooo.....)

Thankfully, the not-too-distant future seems to be bright for the Vita right now. Killzone: Mercenary is set to release next month and it's looking like it'll be the Vita FPS that will finally do the console justice. Past that and with the release of the PS4, the Vita is set to become brilliant for remote play of home console games. It already acts as a remote with the PS3, but a lack of supported games makes it somewhat useless. Thankfully, Sony are all but assuring us that almost every PS4 game will have Vita remote play capability. So fingers crossed, I hope that the days of my PS Vita gathering dust will soon be behind me.

Will Killzone be the Vita FPS we've been desperately waiting for?

Thoughts? I'm keen to hear about the experiences of other Vita owners on IGN, have you guys/girls had a similar experience to me or has the Vita seen more use with you?

]]>Sat, 10 Aug 2013 06:22:59 -0700Edithttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/08/10/the-vita-and-i-the-heartwarming-story-of-one-man-and-his-portable#article_commentshttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/08/09/persona-4-arena-highlights-a-new-gaming-comedy-series-on-youtube
I have an ongoing obsession with Persona 4 at the moment, ever since getting P4G on my Vita this summer. That obsession has since spread to the Xbox with Persona 4: Arena, which I have now made a video on. Hooray!

P4A: Highlights is essentially a collection of moments from me playing the game where I've attempted to do or say something funny, complete with a sarcastic text commentary. I put considerably more effort into this one than some of my more recent videos so I hope it shows!

If at all interested please do take the time to give it a watch, any form of feedback, be that in the form of a view, like, subscribe, comment and/or relentless troll would be much appreciated. Cheers!

]]>Fri, 09 Aug 2013 08:13:50 -0700Edithttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/08/09/persona-4-arena-highlights-a-new-gaming-comedy-series-on-youtube#article_commentshttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/08/05/the-ign-unprofessional-gaming-league-come-join-us
Unprofessional League Gaming (ULG) is about to start its 4th season on my IGN, and is currently looking for new team captains and players across platforms and games to get things started.

If you're interested in some casual esports, socializing with other people on myIGN or just beating people online, check out the sign-up page here, where you can also find out more about the league.

The Xbox 360 league in particular is looking for more players, captains and subs, so if you think you're good at Halo 4, Gears Of War 3, Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood, Need For Speed: Hot Pursuit, or Mortal Kombat then come join us!

]]>Mon, 05 Aug 2013 15:26:09 -0700Edithttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/08/05/the-ign-unprofessional-gaming-league-come-join-us#article_commentshttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/08/02/countbastians-myign-music-blog
I don't normally do things like this but I'm trying to keep my blog active on here, so here's a list of my three favorite songs... at the moment. I would say ever but I'm an indecisive bugger whose opinions change like Xbox One's DRM restrictions.

The formalities:

Although I'm much more into games I thought "meh" and so here we are. enjoy.

Daft Punk - Get Lucky

The song is the definition of beautiful 80's groove. A smooth masterpiece so good I can listen to it non-stop on repeat for basically ever. Over two months and I'm still not bored of it? That's the sign of a truly good song.

Bastille - Pompeii

I find it hard to pin down exactly why I like this song so much. Is it the epic chanting which kicks it off? The haunting lyrics and dramatic chorus? Or is just the fact that the music video is absolutely bitchin? I don't know, but what I do know is I love this great piece of indie brilliance.

The Rolling Stones - Gimme Shelter

So far all the songs on the list are pop/indie singles which came out this year, so here I'm throwing in a 1969 classic from arguably one of the world's greatest ever bands. Proving rock never dies, gimme shelter is an absolute classic harking back to the cold war which, coincidentally, is where I found it. In a trailer for the original black ops.

That sums it up for my current favorite songs, honorable mention goes to Televisor with pinup (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-BGnUg5QKig), an awesome Nu-Disco EDM and just one part of Monstercat's awesome playlist.

]]>Fri, 02 Aug 2013 11:15:26 -0700Edithttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/08/02/countbastians-myign-music-blog#article_commentshttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/08/01/why-call-of-duty-wont-define-the-next-console-generation
When the Xbox one was revealed earlier this year it was met with a resounding "meh". The event was pretty pants, with some of the core concepts of the console (read: NFL is of no interest to those outside the US, using a console to watch TV on a TV is the stupidest thing I've ever heard) being hit with criticism from pretty much everyone. It also didn't help that microsoft showed almost no games at the event and failed to respond to rumors that the Xbox One would require an always-online internet connection and truly terrible DRM restrictions. However, at the end of the event Activision appeared to show off the first gameplay footage of Call of Duty: Ghosts. Fast forward nearly one month on from this and the internet is awash with dog memes, angry rants and various other hoo-hah, despite Infinity Ward's "Beat E3" or whatever it was showing-off of more dogness. Hooray. So why was Ghosts so unimpressive, and why am I making the bold claim that it's the beginning of the end for the CoD franchise?

There's a reason Activision opted for a pre-E3 reveal event for Ghosts - if it was shown alongside all the other next-gen games at E3 the glaring graphical differences between it and almost every other game at the show would be even more apparent. Due to Call of Duty's annual release strategy, which involves having two developers who each get two years to make and release an installment in the franchise, neither Infinity Ward nor Treyarch have had time to develop a new, next-gen engine for the series, with Infinity Ward instead adding numerous upgrades to the existing Call of Duty Engine, which although originally excellent is now a staggering 8 years old!

The result is a game which, despite containing a couple of interesting new next-gen features, still looks far too much like something you'd expect to see on the 360 - in a world where every AAA franchise has adapted to the challenges of the future with a new engine, Call of Duty feels like it's still stagnating in the muddy pond of the current generation.

But... Polygons!

Call of Duty has also long been ridiculed by its critics for a lack of innovation between installments, instead opting to stick to the tried-and-tested formula of Modern Warfare with a new coat of paint and some extra modes and options each year. Although I personally don't believe that this is a bad thing (why fix it if it ain't broke?) I do think that in light of some of the games shown at E3 Ghosts is going to have to do something genuinely awesome if it wants to stay relevant, and so far it hasn't done that.

To show you what I mean, take Tom Clancy's: The Division. Shown off at E3, the game wowed everybody with its gigantic open world, amazing graphics and immersive gameplay. Also take Destiny, Watch Dogs, Killzone, Titanfall and the myriad of other games that, for some or all of the reasons previously mentioned, also looked amazing. Some games had features that have never been seen in games before, others played like their current-gen counterparts but with the kind of graphics a Hollywood blockbuster would be proud of. All of them had some kind of mark which told the world "Look at me! I'm next-gen!". And then there's Call of Duty.

I've already mentioned that Ghosts doesn't compete with others in its class graphically, but that's fine providing it has the next-gen gameplay to keep its fans loyal, right? It's obviously too early to say if it won't have something amazing to blow everyone away, but from what we know so far, its main new features are:

1. A dog.

2. A dramatic story.

3. Multiplayer maps which collapse around players in real-time.

Even for a long-term CoD fan like me that's a bitter pill to swallow. Good stories in games are extremely common now, and the majority of Call of Duty players won't care about it anyway. Collapsing environments sound interesting, but I can't see how they could possibly be better than Battlefield 4's frankly incredible multiplayer demo, featuring a skyscraper being demolished, in real time, by the players in the game. This is the same battlefield, coincidentally, which also has awesome graphics.

...and the less said about the dog the better.

But he's adorable.

In short, Call of Duty: Ghosts now lacks the wizz-bang graphics and new gameplay features to let it compete as a next-gen game. But its problems don't end there. Looking into the future, when is Call of Duty actually going to be able to improve its engine? It already relies heavily on models and animations from past games to finish on time, so the idea that one developer works on the engine while another works on the game is inefficient at best, useless at worst. Although Infinity Ward have made a small number of improvements with ghosts, what they're able to do is limited by what can quickly be incorporated into the game, so although they can add in things like Sub-D whilst still making the game, they're mostly relying on upgraded lighting and textures - something any game can do on next gen, regardless of engine.

Call of Duty is essentially an aging dinosaur at the moment - tired gameplay, outdated graphics and an attachment to the current generation means new franchises are seizing the spotlight and paying customers. But whether Ghosts can do enough to keep the series relevant in the face of a next-gen transition remains to be seen. Perhaps the dog is all that's needed? I mean look at him. He's so cute.

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Thu, 01 Aug 2013 09:28:43 -0700Edithttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/08/01/why-call-of-duty-wont-define-the-next-console-generation#article_commentshttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/04/20/shameless-youtube-plug-judgment-live
Thought I'd separate my actual blogs from links to youtube now, perhaps a little more dignified. Regardless, I just started a new series on my youtube channel which is basically a live commentary of Gears of War judgment with my friend, plus a live music playlist. If that's the kind of thing you'd enjoy please do check it out. Cheers.

]]>Sat, 20 Apr 2013 11:49:30 -0700Edithttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/04/20/shameless-youtube-plug-judgment-live#article_commentshttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/04/18/4-reasons-why-mob-of-the-dead-is-a-return-to-form-for-call-of-duty-zombies
As I'm sure you're probably aware some new DLC was released for Black Ops 2 a few days ago. If you didn't notice the glorious neck-shoving of the DLC down our collective throats over the past few weeks let me be the first to personally congratulate you for beating the internet. For the rest of us, here's a conveniently formatted list of all the reasons why I think Mob of the Dead is the best zombie map yet to be released for Call of Duty: Black Ops 2.

1. It's small.

When I mention TranZit to you what's the first thing you think of? Is it the cool-but-flawed crafting system? The new weapons or characters? The subtle changes to gameplay which make each round longer and harder? I'm willing to bet it's none of those things. The majority of your memories of the map are most likely to be those of running. Running through fog. Running after the bus. Running with a leprechaun facehugger on your head. You name it, you run through it. Why is this? Because the map is too big, or rather too big for the amount of things in it. The problem with TranZit is that the majority of the map doesn't actually contain anything. interspersed between the small and uninteresting non-fogged areas is a vast swathe of nothingness which, due to the presence of the afore-mentioned facehugger leprechauns, is impractical to actually play in. This means that TranZit is essentially a big map with none of the pros and all of the cons, resulting in a punishing map where perks and items are hard to reach without the bonus of a large, detailed world. In fact, TranZit is perhaps the least detailed map in the entirety of Zombie's history. It's certainly the most boring.

Thankfully, Treyarch have learned from this mistake with Mob of the Dead. Instead of a large, hard (and boring) to navigate map, we are instead presented with a smaller, more complex, and infinitely more detailed area with smart level design and some fantastic areas. A big map in a small area, if you will. With a complex but navigatable map which means nothing is too far away, providing you know the route, no death feels cheap and the loss of perks doesn't mean game over.

2. It has a fantastic atmosphere.

Forget the boring and sparse ruined buildings of TranZit and Die Rise. Mob of the Dead is an achingly beautiful map stuffed with little details and perhaps the best atmosphere of any maps before it. Set on the famous prison island of Alcatraz, it's clear the development team took care in the creation of their map and it shows. From the white illumination from flashes of lighting outside, to the eerie glow of light from glazed-over asylum doors, the burning orange eyes of the hell-hound emerging from a wall and the painstakingly re-created, claustrophobic cell blocks of the prison itself, the map is stuffed with little details which draw you deeper into the experience and immerse you in the atmosphere of the game. Combine that with contextual music which plays when you enter a new area for the first time, a completely revamped hud and round start music and a fantastic variety of areas including the iconic cell blocks, a storm-ravaged prison yard and the winding corridors of the citadel tunnels and you have a map full of personality that you will want to explore again and again.

3. It actually has characters and a plot.

Quick, name the characters in Black Ops zombies! If you answered Dempsey, Nikolai, Richtofen and Takeo you are correct! Now quick, name the characters from Black Ops 2 zombies! If you answered Gary Oldman, some Hobo, a nerdy guy and the one with the boobs you may as well be right, because they're all stereotypes and their names are almost never mentioned! (They're names are Misty, Samuel, Marlton and Russman if you're wondering, I had to look them up) Now I'm not saying that Black Ops 1's characters aren't stereotypes, because they are, but at least beneath that there were traces of actual characterization. If you listen to what they say when playing you can find out about what they're really like beneath the stereotype. With the new characters, I have no idea as to their personalities, their motivations, hell, even their last names! They're less like characters and more like talking puppets for the player to control without caring about them. Enter Mob of the Dead.

In Mob of the Dead, Treyarch hired some character actors that I've never heard of to play mobsters and the playable characters. These characters are also relative stereotypes, but when played by four actors who specialize in exactly that kind of character they really shine as believable people. Treyarch's philosophy for Mob of the Dead was "a psychological thriller" and it's pulled off very well, at times you feel like you're playing a movie and that's something very hard to do in a survival mode.

The general plot of the map is that four mobsters are trying to escape from Alcatraz on a makeshift plane. To start off with your long-term goal is to build this plane and escape the island. Obviously things aren't as simple as that and you quickly realize that something is very, very wrong. This is pulled off exceedingly well, with the start of a game starting a dialogue between all the characters - like a movie scene - and depending on the number of players this ranges from a full-fledged movie scene to one guy trying to find out where everyone else is! It's very, very cool, except on solo this can result in your guy wondering where everyone is, then telling some invisible people to read the map, which breaks the immersion slightly. Into the game building the plane is of utmost importance, and it's a considerably easier Easter egg than usual to allow everyone to do it (there is, of course, a ridiculously hard other easter egg, should you choose to accept it). Without spoiling anything, something is very wrong with everything happening and it'll take a lot of digging to find out why.

Perhaps the best thing about Mob of the Dead's plot is that it branches away almost entirely from the main zombies storyline. Up until moon the story line for zombies was totally bonkers, but easy enough to understand providing you checked some youtube videos. With TranZit and Die Rise, the story became way too convoluted and ridiculous for its own good, until you have no idea what's going on any more. By making itself a separate story (a spin-off if you will) and presenting its story elements in a much more accessible way, Mob of the Dead becomes a really exciting experience and you'll want to keep coming back to dig deeper into its deeply absorbing plot.

4. It's genuinely innovative.

Mob of the Dead does a lot of things very, very right in terms of gameplay. Gone is the bus from TranZit, the weird one-way system and overpowered wall guns in Die Rise and the general shoddiness of Black Ops 2's new features. Treyarch have taken the best of Zombies' new features and polished them so they work. The crafting system? It's back, but now you're no longer restricted to carrying one item at a times, parts are clearly displayed on the scoreboard and they're harder to find. None of the craftable items are must-haves for the game either, you can get by perfectly well without building a thing, but you should, because they're awesome. Mob of the Dead also introduces a new gameplay feature in the form of afterlife mode. This mode allows you to become a corporeal projection, so you can levitate, move through certain walls to activate perks, doors and the power and revive yourself. It's kind of a cross between the Die Rise perks who's who and quick revive. You get one afterlife per round with a maximum of three, so an interesting tactical choice is added. Do you use afterlife to open up a perk, collect a new part of save it to revive yourself? The choice is yours. Also added is a new boss enemy, the warden. This guy has lots of health and will charge at you, dealing considerably more damage than usual. He also turns off perk machines, which is a real annoyance, so dealing with him quickly and efficiently is crucial.

Add to these new features the best set of weapons yet in Black Ops 2 zombies (the death machine is in the box!!!!!!! !!! !!!) including fan favorites, as-yet unused guns like the LSAT and some new weapons like the tommy gun, which is awesome, the blunder gat, which is god, and hell's retriever, which comes from a hell hound. yeah.

To sum it up, Mob of the Dead brings the best of Black Ops and world at war's zombies modes and combines them with refined features from black ops 2. combined with one of the most atmospheric maps to date, a brilliant plot and an awesome weapon set this map becomes the definitive zombies experience for Black Ops 2, and possibly one of the best zombies maps ever made. Play it.

]]>Thu, 18 Apr 2013 13:32:42 -0700Edithttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/04/18/4-reasons-why-mob-of-the-dead-is-a-return-to-form-for-call-of-duty-zombies#article_commentshttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/04/11/jurassic-heart-the-worlds-weirdest-dating-sim
After all the hard-core, super realistic and gritty shooters and horror games I've played recently, I thought why not play a good old-fashioned dating sim? Not that I've ever played them before (I can't say it's my favorite genre) but hey, you only live once. What I found was Jurassic Heart, a game that makes no sense, raises more questions than it answers, which is none, and generally is kind of weird and hilarious to play. Watch me play it here:

]]>Thu, 11 Apr 2013 14:35:28 -0700Edithttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/04/11/jurassic-heart-the-worlds-weirdest-dating-sim#article_commentshttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/03/30/ive-played-slender-you-made-me-do-it
Damn you people. Why did you have to threaten me with bombardments of cat .GIFs and the permanent title of "Señor Pussy"? Anyway, I played it. Honestly. I sucked it up, put on my I-don't-give-a-f**k sunglasses and shouted obscenities at my crappy little laptop for half an hour, all for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy, you gits.

So I was sat at my perpetually-overheating laptop which has gone through 3 hard drives already and isn't really good for anything other than the skip yesterday, and decided to buy Slender: The Arrival off of the internet, because I heard it was scary and thought "Scary? Pah. I've completely every Dead Space on the highest difficulty - how scary can it be?".

THAT scary.

I don't want to delve into any specifics but after pausing like 10 times and barely completing the first stage which, I might add, does not involve you being attacked AT ALL, I pussied out massively and quit at the beginning of the eight pages (the original slender level). Since then I have been unable to muster up the courage to continue playing and get goodness-knows-whated by Slender Man.

So I beseech you, the wonderful community of IGN, to convince me to continue playing, against the will of my brain and sleeping patterns, otherwise I'll have wasted £8 and that'd be annoying. I mean, I could have spent all of that on cake. All of it.

]]>Sat, 30 Mar 2013 10:20:36 -0700Edithttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/03/30/somebody-convince-me-to-play-slender-or-ive-wasted-8-pounds#article_commentshttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/03/16/gears-of-war-judgment-multiplayer-beta-preview
After spending some time with the early access beta for Gears of War: Judgment, I've put together a video with my thoughts, opinions and other general what-not about the latest addition to the Gears franchise and how it differs from its successors. Enjoy!

]]>Sat, 16 Mar 2013 06:48:17 -0700Edithttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/03/16/gears-of-war-judgment-multiplayer-beta-preview#article_commentshttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/03/14/i-got-the-gears-judgement-beta-early
Thanks to a pre-order at game in the UK, I get to the play the Gears of War: Judgement beta a few days before the general riff-raff. Suffice to say, I have a lot to say about it, look out for a video tomorrow! In the mean time, if anyone else got it early who wants to form a team together? Overrun is a mode which requires a lot of teamwork so a well-organised (i.e. talking) team will make all the difference. ]]>Thu, 14 Mar 2013 16:02:32 -0700Edithttp://www.ign.com/blogs/countbastian/2013/03/14/i-got-the-gears-judgement-beta-early#article_comments