A Michigan mom has filed a complaint with her school district, saying that a book that contains "pornographic" material should be removed from the schools. Golly gee whiz, did Fifty Shades make it into a school library somewhere?! Uhh, not quite. The "pornographic" book that got this mom's knickers in a twist? The Diary of Anne Frank. Yep, there is actually a mom somewhere who thinks that a diary by a 15-year-old girl detailing the horrors of the Holocaust is too dirty for her daughter to read -- but not because of the mass killings of the Jews, but because Anne mentioned her private parts!

Mom of seventh grader Gail Horalek was embarrassed when her daughter brought home the unedited version of Anne Frank and spotted this E.L. James-worthy passage (that's sarcasm):

What's even funnier is that I thought urine came out of the clitoris ... When you're standing up, all you see from the front is hair. Between your legs there are two soft, cushiony things, also covered with hair, which press together when you're standing, so you can't see what's inside. They separate when you sit down and they're very red and quite fleshy on the inside.

The problem is the school is giving the seventh graders inappropriate material and not explaining it to the parents.

And she's NOT talking about the mass killings! That's the part that floors me.

So let's see ... Gail's daughter is in seventh grade, which makes her 12 to 14 years old. At this age, she is apparently is old enough to learn all about the horrors of the Holocaust -- how millions of men, women, and children were rounded up and sent into gas chambers -- but she is somehow not old enough to hear about the female genitalia. Frankly, I would rather my child read an entire book about the vagina than one passage about the Holocaust -- because I would prefer that the Holocaust had never happened! But it DID. And children should know this.

Maybe Gail's child can be removed to a class that doesn't ask students to read the classics. She can watch Disney cartoons all day or something. That should prepare her for the real world (sarcasm again).