OPENING SEGMENT- disappointing
Steph comes out and brags about winning at Survivor Series. She attributes the win to Hunter and has him come out. Kurt then comes out and he and Hunter go nose-to-nose. Kurt tells Hunter in no uncertain terms that if he ever attacks him from behind again, he’ll kick his ass. Steph had to get her two cents, saying that Kurt shouldn’t jeopardize his career by threatening the COO. Are you kidding me? Is Steph saying that if Hunter and Kurt started brawling her reaction would be to fire Kurt rather than book these two hall of famers against each other on a PPV? Is she stupid?

Jason Jordan then came out and got in Hunter’s face. Kurt wants him to back down, but Jason says that he wants a match with Hunter. Steph tells Kurt that he doesn’t have the authority to book Hunter in matches. Jason Jordan, in the absolute best thing he’s ever done since he became Kurt’s son, immediately fires back by accusing Hunter of cowardice. Hunter takes off his jacket, but Steph jumps in and says that Hunter will destroy Jason Jordan and Hunter “isn’t afraid of anyone in that locker room.”
That was, of course, a painfully forced excuse to bring Braun out to go face-to-chin with Hunter, with Jason Jordan now relegated to the background like a total nobody. Hunter and Steph back down, and everyone boos and chants “YOU’RE A COWARD!” at Hunter. Then Steph books Jason Jordan vs. Braun Strowman. They go square up but Kurt gets between them, and Braun’s music plays to end the segment.
I feel so bad for Jason Jordan right now. He’s been Kurt Angle’s kid for six months now and just when we had a segment where he really felt like someone who could be a main event player, they switched directions and made Braun the center of attention, while Jordan was relegated to being a background character who not only isn’t getting his match with Hunter but also is going to go out and job to the real star Braun Strowman later tonight.

SAMOA JOE vs. FINN BALOR- 7.25/10
The announcers are pushing that Joe is frustrated that he didn’t get to pin Cena last night. Maybe instead of putting this on first and letting the announcers tell us this we could have Joe cut a promo expressing this frustration and telling us that he plans to unleash all of it on Finn Balor during their match tonight?
These two had a pretty darn great match.

JASON JORDAN & KURT ANGLE BACKSTAGE- Jason Jordan asks Kurt to cancel his match with Braun tonight because he’s not actually at 100% like he claimed. He said he claimed he was at 100% just to try to get a match with Hunter. Kurt points out how terrible it would look to other people if this Kurt cancelled his son’s match against big scary Braun. The sad part is that despite putting this line in the script, it doesn’t seem to have occurred to them that doing this segment means that we, the viewers, are seeing Jason ask Kurt to cancel the match, which makes Jason look just as bad.
Jason says he can compete tonight if Kurt needs him to. Then he said “I’m the only one on the roster who can beat Braun Strowman.” There was laughter from the audience, but I’ll do them one better: not only did I laugh at Jason’s preposterous assertion that he has a snowball’s chance in hell of beating Braun Strowman, but I will also point out that his claim to be the only person on the roster who can beat Braun is 100% false, as both Roman Reigns and Brock Lesnar have beaten Strowman this year alone, and both of them are on the Raw roster. Jason insists that he can beat guys bigger than him because his dad used to do so in college, but at no point did he ever mention that he himself had the same wrestling skills that allowed Kurt to do so. We all know he does, but it makes him seem like an idiot for only saying that he can do it because “your blood is running through my veins.” Also, how about maybe giving a nod to WWE history and pointing out that Kurt has beaten men like Kane, Big Show, Mark Henry, and The Undertaker?
Anyway, Jason closed this segment off by insisting that after tonight’s match “Braun Strowman’s going to be telling horror stories about me.” Cue more laughter. Are they trying to make him look like a loser?

ASUKA vs. DANA BROOKE- squash.
Dana cut an in-set promo was pretty decent if not for the horrifically shameless plug for “The Asuka Collection on the WWE Network.” Dana claimed to have found holes in Asuka’s game to exploit, but she got pretty much completely squashed.
Michael Cole described Asuka as “a pleasure to watch,” which was surprising because I did not figure him for one of those weirdos who gets off on watching Joshi matches.

MIZ TV WITH SPECIAL GUEST ROMAN REIGNS- bad
Miz tried to introduce Roman about five times and Roman didn’t come out so Miz got angry. Then, once Miz got angry, The Shield’s music played and they came out from the crowd. Was the sound guy kayfabe not paying attention or something? Also, the whole Shied came out, not just Roman.
Miz demands that they thank him for being the impetus for them reuniting. This is stupid. I can totally see The Miz trying to claim credit for them coming together, but to demand that they personally thank him is too far. I mean… what did he expect to happen? Did he really think there was a snowball’s chance in Kane’s jockstrap of them actually thanking him? It makes him look dumb. He’s supposed to be an egomaniac whose mouth sometimes gets him in trouble, yes, but he’s not supposed to be an idiot. He’s not supposed be someone who purposely sets up situations which he knows will only end in him not getting what he wants.
Miz also wants to get residuals from their merch now. The Shield obviously didn’t give Miz what he wants because it’s pretty clear to anyone with a brain that he doesn’t deserve it… but because wrestling crowds have turned into a pack of people who are just out to use the show as prompts to entertain themselves with chanting, they chanted “THANK YOU MIZ!” when he demanded his thank you, and chanted “YES! YES! YES!” when he said he deserved a cut of their merch checks, and chanted “YOU’RE UNGRATEFUL!” when The Shield refused to give him money.
They then talked about who should and shouldn’t be “grateful” due to their results at Survivor Series. I have no idea what the correlation there was supposed to be, but it resulted in Miz saying he was better than them because he has a title. Seth and Dean said they’d win the tag title back soon enough. And Roman decided to challenge Miz to a match for the Intercontinental Title. The Miz-tourage stepped between Miz and The Shield and Bo said they would have to go through him and Axel first, so Roman just took Bo down with one punch. Miz ran away, leaving Axel, still in his neck brace, alone in the ring with The Shield, whereupon our valiant babyfaces assaulted a man in a neck brace by kneeing him in the face and giving him a DDT. Bo got up and the fans chanted “WE BO-LIEVE!” because they just want to chant sh*t rather than actually caring about anything. Bo got beaten up and ate a triple powerbomb.

We learned that Kurt made Miz vs. Roman for the title official. Do you know what would have been nice? Having Kurt cut an actual promo about this where he says he is making this match because The Shield beat Smackdown’s New Day last night at Survivor Series while Miz made Raw look bad by losing to Smackdown’s Baron Corbin? You know… something to make last night’s results feel relevant in storylines that don’t revolve around Kurt Angle and/or the McMahons?

DEAM AMBROSE (w/Seth Rollins) vs. SHEAMUS (w/Cesaro)- 6.75/10
Very good match, but I really could have done without the overbooking. To be honest, I could have done without this entire match. Seth & Dean are already owed a rematch so we don’t need this to work towards earning them a title shot and they already cut a promo saying they would win the belts back, so why not just have Cesaro & Sheamus cut a promo later in the show and let that be that rather than having to beat either a champion or a challenger and making us watch a match that not only have we seen a million times already, but is also a match you should be doing your best to avoid giving away so that we don’t have that “I’ve seen this a million times already” feeling when the title match comes around? You could even use the aforementioned theoretical Kurt Angle promo about Miz vs. Roman to say that because The Shield won while Sheamus & Cesaro lost, he is going to let Seth & Dean pick the stip for their title match or something like that, and Sheamus & Cesaro’s promo could be complaining about that being unfair.

MATT HARDY & JASON JORDAN BACKSTAGE- Jason asks Matt for advice on how to beat Strowman. Matt was thoroughly unhelpful. His response was essential, “nothing will work because he’s ‘The Monster Among Men’” rather than just a dude who doesn’t have “monster” in his nickname, so Jason is screwed. Matt closed off by telling him “some nights, it’s just not your night.” Matt came off like either an idiot or a jerk, depending on which way you want to see it, and Jason came off bad for not realizing that Matt was just being whichever one he was being.

ALEXA BLISS! PROMO- Great... until everyone else showed up to drag down Alexa's segment.
First we were shown footage of Alexa walking around backstage after her loss last night. She was sad because she lost. Hooray for the basic storytelling of showing that the results of the matches should have an effect on the wrestlers. Then Becky and Charlotte walked past her bragging about Charlotte’s win for Smackdown, which made Alexa even sadder and made me want to see footage of Charlotte and Becky walking around dejected after Smackdown lost in the main event.
Alexa cut a great promo first burying the fans’ attempts to be nice to her, then spinning her loss in the best possible light for herself while never once doing anything to try to hide the fact that she lost completely cleanly in the middle of the ring. Alexa Bliss! isn’t just my favorite wrestler in the world right now because she’s an awesome babyface, an awesome heel, an awesome promo, always tells a story in her matches, has great facial expressions, and is really f*cking hot. She’s also a magical pixie whose very presence turns WWE segments into segments that feel like they were booked by people who actually understand the important underlying concepts of storytelling in professional wrestling.
Alexa says that 2017 is still the “Year of the Goddess” and she’s still the best female wrestler on the planet. I know what you’re thinking because I was thinking it, too: what a perfect moment this would be for Asuka to come out and begin her title program with Alexa!”
Instead we got Mickie James. Again. She called Alexa “Biscuit Butt.” Again. While it didn’t work the first four times Mickie called Alexa that, these idiots in Houston will chant for anything, so they chanted “Biscuit Butt!” at Alexa, and the worst part about it is that Vince or whoever will see these idiots chanting it and assume that this means that it’s over and so they’ll write someone calling Alexa “Biscuit Butt” into the show every single week for the next ten months.
Mickie said stuff until Alexa just laughed her off. Then Bayley came out and agreed that 2017 has indeed been Alexa’s year, but the year isn’t over yet. Bayley thinks she deserves a title shot more than Mickie, and Alexa just laughs her off, too… and Alexa is completely right to do so! She’s beaten all of these women cleanly and none of them have done a damn thing to earn a title shot since then!
Here comes Sasha and she wants a title shot. Now here comes Fox and she wants one, too. Well… at least Fox is someone I don’t think Alexa has beaten yet (although she still hasn’t done anything to earn it). Unlike the other three, at least Alicia actually tried to justify her claim to a title shot, saying that her leadership helped Raw beat SD last night and therefore she should be rewarded with a title shot. Alexa laughed her off as well, and then buried all four of them as totally unworthy of a title shot (and she’s right). Then Alexa dropped the mic and walked off, making all of the other women look like they were not even close to being stars of her caliber.
Then Kurt Angle came out and said that last night “Smackdown proved that they’re not the b show.” Um… what? They lost, didn’t they? Are you seriously telling me that now I’m just supposed to ignore everything that they’ve been telling me for the past month- that Survivor Series was a battle to see which brand was better?
Then Kurt books the four losers in a #1 contendership match for right now. How fortunate that they all decided to wear their gear to the ring. Meanwhile, Asuka won the match for her team last night and still hasn’t lost but she was nowhere to be found in this segment. Asuka, thy name is Jay White.

#1 CONTENDERSHIP MATCH: Mickie James vs. Alicia Fox vs. Bayley vs. Mickie James- no rating, odd/bad segment.
Paige showed up, music and entrance and everything, in the middle of the match. Booker claimed that she was “taking advantage of the situation,” prompting me to scream “HOW?!” at the top of my lungs. The match ground to a halt so that Paige could cut a promo, showing that none of these women have learned anything from what happened to Seth & Dean a mere two weeks ago.
She tells us that she’s back but she “didn’t come alone.” Then she headed down to the ring while Sonya Deville and Mandy Rose came out from the crowd and took out Mickie James from behind. Yes, really. Sonya Deville and Mandy Rose. Not Ruby Riot or Mercedes Martinez or Kairi Sane or Shayna Baszler or Sage Beckett or Abbey Laith or Nikki Cross. Sonya Deville and Mandy Rose. My best guess is that when Hunter was calling Canyon Ceman to tell him who was getting called up to Raw, Canyon was standing in an area with bad reception and the call got garbled and Canyon thought he heard Hunter say “Mandy and Sonya” when in reality Hunter said something else.
Anyway, Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville make their debuts on Raw… and the crowd chanted “NXT!” for them. Mandy has had a grand total of TWO televised matches in two years, and Sonya hasn’t yet been portrayed as anything more than a mid-carder. I think WWE in Houston is my equivalent to ROH’s crowd in Vegas. I hope WWE doesn’t run Houston again until at least 2025.
Despite Cole’s constant reminders that there are no disqualifications in such matches, after they jumped Mickie, the bell started to ring furiously. And please don’t try to argue that this was a no contest rather than a DQ so that makes it different because by the time the bell was rung, only one woman had been attacked. If Paige & Pals had decided to just leave right then and there, Sasha, Bayley, and Alicia could have easily finished the match
The three babyface women got beaten up, but Fox ran away. That was both in character and funny. They left us wondering why there three were working together. The only theory that was proposed was either Cole or Graves mentioning that they were all on the most recent Tough Enough together, which was a thing that I had totally forgot ever happened.

RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS PAIGE, MANDY, & SONYA- well… actually Renee stopped all three of them in the hallway and asked her question “can you tell us what just happened out there?” specifically addresses to Paige. This made the other two look like peons. Which they are, of course, but there is no reason to rub that in right away.
Before we could get an answer, Alexa Bliss! showed up and told them they did have to explain themselves to Renee and ordered her to shoo. Renee did so. Alexa tried to be nice to them, but they just stared a hole through her. She said “nice to meet you” again, and after a long, awkward pause, the heels jumped Alexa, letting us know that they’re a rogue faction, which is refreshing. Also, now I have a situation where I can root for Alexa while still feeling like I’m rooting for the babyface again. Hooray!

BRAUN STROWMAN vs. JASON JORDAN- no rating, meh segment.
Jason Jordan’s ankle was supposed to be injured, but as Booker T pointed out, he’s walking just fine. So either Jason Jordan was lying about being injured earlier in an attempt to get out of the match, which makes him a heel, or Jason Jordan wasn’t smart enough to figure out that he should be selling his injury (and Booker T made things a bit worse by bringing this to our attention).
The match didn’t go long. Jason Jordan’s leg appeared to buckle so he rolled to the outside. Then Kane ran in from the crowd and clipped Braun’s knee and attacked him with a chair. Michael Cole played up how much of surprise it was that Kane was here by saying “we haven’t seen Kane since Braun Strowman slammed him through the ring last week!” which really doesn’t say much because we usually don’t see most wrestlers from one Raw to the next. Yes, there was a PPV on Sunday, but Kane wasn’t booked on it, so why would him not showing up be such a shock?
Kane guillotined Braun’s throat with a chair and left. Braun refused all medical help even though he was gasping for air because I think refusing all medical help is part of his gimmick now. Maybe after he’s done feuding with Isaac Yank’em he can move on to Dr. Tom Prichard? Jokes aside, though, this was a pretty good angle.

CRUISERWEIGHT SEGMENT- Enzo’s got the rest of the Cruiserweight heels out with him again. He cut a long promo, even cutting a promo for the three non-Gulak wrestlers. Then, as Gulak started to talk, some babyfaces came out to interrupt them. The babyfaces in question were Swann, Cedric, Tozawa, & Mustafa Ali. Cedric say they want a Cruiserweight Title shot, and explains that apparently the deal with the heel Cruiserweights all being Enzo’s lackeys is that they are trying to suck up to him for a title shot.
Enzo gave a response, then Swann got to cut an actual promo on Enzo. The heels aside from Enzo all attacked the babyfaces to start a schmoz while Enzo rolled out of the ring and just stood and watched smugly. We went to a commercial, and when we returned we were in the middle of…

RENEE YOUNG TRIES TO GET A MEDICAL UPDATE ON BRAUN STROWMAN- Kurt Angle happened to be heading in there to check on Jason Jordan. Renee asked him about Braun and he said that Braun refused medical treatment and “I think he left the building.”

KURT ANGLE, JASON JORDAN, MIZ, & THE TRAINER- bad.
Jason thinks he let his father down but Kurt said he didn’t. Miz asked Kurt why he booked him to defend his title against Roman tonight even though Roman hasn’t done anything to earn it. Kurt yelled at him and told him to go away. Miz did. Then Jason Jordan, trying to come across as calm, deep, and reflective, said “Matt Hardy was right. Braun Strowman really is ‘The Monster Among Men.’” Who the hell thought this was any sort of good idea?

THE DRIFTER SINGS A SONG- He claimed to be “The Reaper of Lost Souls,” which did not get the big negative reaction you’d think it would have gotten in The Undertaker’s home city. He sang about beating Matt Hardy last night. Matt interrupted him and they brawled. Matt won the brawl. Apparently we’re getting a Matt Hardy vs. Drifter feud. WHY?!

WWE INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE MATCH: The Miz(c) vs. Roman Reigns- 6.5/10
The announcers pushed the fact that the Intercontinental Title is the only one that Roman hasn’t won yet. I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure he’s never been Universal Champion before, either. Miz worked over Roman’s head. Sheamus &Cesaro came out to cause a distraction for a false finish. Rollins and Ambrose took them out soon after. If they had gone with my idea for promos instead of that pointless singles match you could have had Sheamus & Cesaro explain next week that the reason they interfered in this match was to send a message to Rollins & Ambrose by trying to prevent their pal from winning his unearned (in their view) title shot. The way WWE did it, the only reason they interfered seems to have been because they just don’t like Roman.
Rollins & Ambrose came out to deal with Sheamus & Cesaro, and then Roman speared Miz and won the title, bringing this horribly dull title reign to an appropriately dull end. Miz won the belt, did nothing with it, and then finally lost it in a match with a grand total of two hours’ worth of build, to a guy who has already been world champion multiple times and who is going to be so again coming out of WrestleMania. And it only took five and a half months.

This was mostly a good show from Raw if you leave out all of the Jason Jordan and Kurt Angle stuff. I am pretty curious to see what the deal is with this new women’s faction, and why on G-d’s green Earth WWE decided to call up Mandy and Sonya over everyone else in NXT.

Oh no. Enough of Kane. I'm sorry but the time is done. Strowman threw him through the ring. Sure he didn't level him, one two three, but that was way more than good enough. I want more Strowman, not more Kane..

They probably called those two up because the rest of the NXT women you mentioned are still in the middle of successful great runs lol.