True… My desk at home is tiny – by choice!
Unfortunately, I had no choice in office furniture – it’s all kind of built in to this coffice thing I inhabit.
As for death threats – they don’t work on retired cops. Unfortunately.

Coffice = Office/Cubicle – what else do you call something with three solid, floor to ceiling walls, whose fourth wall is sliding glass doors, it’s about the size of a large cubicle, with built in desk and cabinets, but doesn’t feature the part-wall partitions?

I had also come up with “officle” but that sounded gross. And I liked that “coffice” could also be office/coffin, so it stuck.