Boston Celtics 20 Miami Heat 38

The NBA is a tough league to win in. Just ask the veteran Spurs, or the talented Lakers. It is particularly tough when you are playing five against eight, as the Boston Celtics had to last night. The Celtics had to contend with not only the ‘Big Three’ of Wade, LeBr$n and Chris Bosh, but also the referees, who either had bucket loads of cash-money on the Heat, or a directive from above as to how the NBA wanted this series to play out.

Strong words?

Consider Paul Pierce charging to the rim with the game tied, getting slapped on the arm and face, missing the shot and not getting a call. Consider Jeff Green, moments later, charging through the lane, going for a layup and being basically mugged. That’s the best term for it. Mugged. And the call? You guessed it. No call.

You know what, you can paint last night’s game whatever way you want to, you can laud LeBr$n for going crazy in the last four minutes after an anonymous first forty four. You can praise Wade for playing as if he were the real Superman. However, if you applied the Alien test, you have to admit something was up.

The alien test? Imagine Zengaboon, the Alien, just landed on earth last night, grabbed a bucket of popcorn and decided to catch a little Earth culture with a game of hoops. Imagine the game coming to a close, and Zengaboon turning to you and saying, ‘I don’t get it, why do they only call these ‘fouls’ you were telling me about against the team in green?’

Look, facetious joking aside, if you really didn’t see anything amiss with last nights game, go ahead and check out the statistics. You probably aren’t going to read about a disparity anywhere. The Boston papers have too much class. NBA.com sure isn’t going to bring its own product into question.

ESPN?

Don’t make me laugh. LeBr$n has ESPN in his big pockets. Remember, this is the ‘news’ entity that took down a story by one of their journalists just hours after it went live, because LeBr$n’s people were angry at the unflattering slant it took (in case you missed it, check the story out here in full). So ESPN sure as hell isn’t going to go down that road again, saying anything bad about its meal ticket.

Your eyes don’t lie though, so if you watched last nights game, you saw Pierce time and time again getting slapped, hit, jostled and bullied in the paint, with no call. You saw Jeff Green treated like a piñata with no call forthcoming.

Most of all, you saw the numbers.

20-38.

20 free throws for Boston. 38 for the Miami Heat.

You know what, watching that game, watching the farcical way it was being ‘officiated’, you wouldn’t have been too stunned if LeBr$n had grabbed a fold up chair and smashed Delonte West in the back with it. It wouldn’t have been too startling if LeBr$n had then been handed a microphone from the sideline, and launched into a loud rant over the prone body of West – ‘Miami!! I have waited for this moment!! That’s what you get for sleeping with my Momma, Delonte, that’s what you get!!’’

Sounds like a bad, corny, choreographed wrestling moment, right? And that’s what the NBA has become. Poorly acted, poorly played out and cheesily choreographed wrestling.

20-38.

Just look at those numbers, and try telling me that doesn’t stink like a diaper filled with five day old Indian food.

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