Playboy Advisor: Premature-ejaculation-101

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Playboy AdvisorFebruary 7, 2013

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***Q:* Before our first child was born, I could last as long as I wanted. Now I last as little as one and never more than five minutes. I’ve tried numbing condoms, exercises from the internet, pinching myself and pushing my tongue against the roof of my mouth. You can surf the web for hours researching premature ejaculation, but most sites just suggest exercises or buying their miracle products. I’m 41, if that matters. Please help. — A.F., Vancouver, British Columbia **

A: If you can last only up to five minutes, you have what a porn star—but not a doctor—would describe as premature ejaculation. Technically, a man suffers from PE only if he consistently ejaculates less than a minute or two after penetration. Many men suffer from lifelong PE, and some research suggests those cases have a genetic component. But rapid ejaculation happens to almost every guy once in a while, and the risk is that you let your anxiety about it surround your erection like a fog. If you think about not coming, you’re going to come. Next time, take a deep breath. If you come too quickly and it hasn’t been a chronic problem, shrug it off and use your tongue, fingers or a vibrator. You may find your partner’s response gets you ready for a second round. You’ll find alternative strategies in The Good in Bed Guide to Overcoming Premature Ejaculation, by Ian Kerner, available at goodinbed.com. If you use condoms, you’ll find this study from Indiana University interesting: Researchers found that adding lubricant to condoms, having your partner put the condom on with her hands, knowing she is using contraception herself, and having sex with a spouse (versus a girlfriend) are each “significantly associated with longer intercourse.”