How my journey as a submissive led me closer to God

Behind the Blindfold-BDSM and the Novice Sub

There are so many behind the scenes “out-takes” that I want to share. It would clutter the posts, so I am dedicating this page to the funny shit that goes on in my world.

1. Dishing on Don Knots…

So Don Knots was my first foray into the lifestyle. Remember him? The frustrated Boy Scout who hog-tied me to a table over my lunch hour? Yes…it’s coming back to you now. Well Don was just not my cup of tea. And our play is what I would like to think of as “an isolated incident”

He instructed me to bring a camera, which I did. After the scene was complete, I found that he had chronicled each “pose” on camera. It is difficult to see yourself like that on camera. There’s no opportunity to fix your hair (your hands are tied) or to gracefully suck in your gut (because your strapped to a table). It is what it is.

So there I was with a group of seven photos on the family camera. He instructed me to email him a picture each day with my thoughts on it. I agreed to do this, knowing the entire time that I never planned to see him again.

I got home around 3:00. All I wanted to do was take a shower. I needed to wash the day away. So I laid the camera and my purse on the kitchen table and proceeded to take a long, pensive shower. I reflected on the day while washing my hair and suddenly heard a familiar voice.

“Mom? You in there?”

It was my oldest son. He was home for the weekend. I had totally forgotten that it was my weekend with him. I quickly remembered that my RED (that screams LOOK AT ME) camera was sitting on the kitchen table. It was the same camera that had birthday pics, Christmas pics and most recently his PROM pics. My oldest had been asking to see the pics from the prom.

And there sat the camera….on the table.

And there sat my son, at the table…waiting for me to finish my shower, to tell me about his day.

I have honestly never washed my hair so quickly in my life. I was terrified that he would pick up the camera and begin scrolling through the pictures to find one of me….

Tied to a door. Hands above my head, like in a Vincent Price movie, blindfolded, ball gagged and naked.

Or one of me tied to the table. Or how about the lovely pics with the spreader bar…

I would never be able to pay for all of the therapy it would require to make him right again.

Panic had set in. I knew that if I ran out of the shower and scooped up the camera, he would catch on to something.

So I sauntered out of the shower and sat down in my robe, at the kitchen table with my son. I non-chalantly said,

“I better put this camera up before your little brother comes home. We don’t want to lose any of the pictures”

He muttered agreement and I took the camera and placed it well out of sight.

Remember I watched him from the window and then realized that I quickly needed to be downstairs…

On my knees

Waiting

I made it in the lick of time. Through the rush of the morning, I didn’t know that my lovely black, low-cut, Boho-chic gown was indeed

INSIDE-freakin- OUT….

Mark remarked about this as he had me face down in my loveseat.

“Hey darlin’, your pretty little gown is inside out.”

SMOOTH…..

He then said, “How about I just rip it off…”

What a gentleman. Handled that situation like a boss.

3. Becoming a Bond Girl

The preparation for my encounter with Bond was by far the most intense. I wanted everything to be perfect.

Here’s a couple of funnies….

First of all, on the way to meet him (an hour’s drive from my house) I realized that I had not flossed. WHAT? How could I overlook that….

I knew time would be limited when I got there, so I flossed while driving on the interstate. Talk about a conversation starter. The cars who passed me with my mouth open in all different types of contorted positions, probably had no idea what to think…

And prior to the event, I began taking a prescribed diuretic. After all, it’s been hot lately and I had noticed my feet were a little swollen. Again, I wanted all to be perfect for Bond, as I had some fierce shoes to wear for the event.

I took a diuretic for 3 days prior. As I dressed for Bond and put my shoes on, I noticed that they were almost too big for my feet. Dammit!!!

So just know and visualize….

I as walked down the hallway to him, I was honestly trying to walk with purpose. Keep in mind that I did have the 3 drinks in a 20 minute span….and my heels were now a bit too big.

All that I could visualize was a baby giraffe…trying to walk for the first time.

I share this with you, my readers, to illustrate that although I am being

Tied and

Punished and

Consumed by these men of mine…there is a realness to it all. It’s not glamorous. It’s not rehearsed.