What would be appropriate behaviour toward a quokka? I suspect that different people draw different lines with respect to these eminently fuckable, football-shaped, edible marsupials. Who I suspect have a pretty tough time of it.

I\’m slightly perplexed by the \’fuckable\’ – they look a bit small to me, but I\’ll defer to the expert. Quokkas are certainly another illustration of the bizarre bifurcation of Antipodean wildlife: on the one hand, you have unspeakably hardcore versions of normal things, such as spiders that can eat your head and fish that can eat your whole boat; on the other, you have unspeakably crap versions of normal things, such as permanently stoned minature bears that die falling out of trees and birds that can\’t fly or run. The quokka definitely falls into the second category.

At least according to Wikipedia, the quokka \”recycles a small amount of its waste products\”. What an environmentally friendly little fella – an inspiration to us all. Or alternatively, what a great euphemism: \”no, I wasn\’t eating my own shit in that German movie, I was just recycling waste products…\”

4 thoughts on “Quokka news”

Ah, it’s a much underestimated creature is the koala. They exist in an almost permanent state of psychotic hangover. Were you to hit one in a car whilst driving in Australia, you must on no account approach it. If still alive, it’ll climb you and go for your eyes. They’re completely satanic little bastards.

Strictly speaking, it’s kind of odd that people who are willing to factory farm, slaughter, and then eat the flesh of a given animal, should find the idea of a person shagging the same animal in some way objectionable.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand why (psychoanalytically speaking) this should be the case, but it is somewhat irrational.