Tuesday, April 05, 2011

Spring Fever

Ah, spring. I have been single every spring for the past… well, it’s not really necessary to count years here, is it? We'll just say that, for awhile now, I’ve been single in the springtime. And every year, I forget about spring fever until it rears it's kind of ugly, yet ultimately welcome, head.

Springtime: finally warm enough to let the nipples out

There is this dude, at this place. Okay, it’s the guitar shop at a music school where I take J, the child I watch, for classes. I’ve always noticed that this dude is cute, obviously, because he’s so sexy. He’s like that guy who plays Chuck on that show on TV (Chuck, that is), but if Chuck was cuter, possibly taller, and had curly hair and the most adorable smile. But like a week ago, he came up to us when we took our routine trip to the store after class and asked whether we have class twice a week (we do).

You know those people who smile at you and somehow, with just a smile, some eye contact, and a sense that they are actually paying attention to you, make you feel like the only person in the world? Yeah, when this guy talks to me, I forget that I am holding a 2 ½ year-old child. 2 ½ -year-old children are bulky and kind of heavy. So… he’s a little distracting, this guy. (Sidenote: I hate people like this. What a gift, to make people feel so special. But you just know that they make everyone feel that way, and they either have a girlfriend to whom they are very committed, or they’re using this gift to bang 10 different chicks at a time, who all began coming in to get their guitars re-strung entirely too often because… hi, cute guitar shop dude.)

And you know it’s bad when your internal reaction to this kind of thing is: “zoooooooomg this guy totally notices that I come here twice a week. Hotttttt.” Er. Maybe he notices the adorable child I bring in twice a week? Or maybe my bright red hair and big glasses are moderately memorable? Yeah, he might not want to bone me.

But whatever. I kind of forgot about that conversation (how?! HOW?!?) until today, when he said hello to us, smiled and asked if we were there for… well, I actually don’t remember at all what he said because I got total butterflies that I almost mistook for heartburn because I haven’t had a frivolous, silly crush in so long, and I was kind of dazzled by his smile. And as we walked out of the music school and I pushed the stroller, beaming, I realized that I have a major crush.

What makes it “major,” you might ask? Well, I will tell you. I totally came up with this ridiculous plan wherein I buy something and “accidentally” leave my debit card (which has my picture on it) behind, just so he can learn my name. Mind you, since I couldn’t be sure he’d be the one to end up with my card, I’d have to cancel it. I was briefly willing to do that.

I love crushes, don’t you? Acting like a fool while smiling like an idiot. So fun.

And then, on the way home, a flock of pigeons came flying crazily out of an alley and missed hitting my face by inches. Ah yes, the downside of spring: nearly getting Fabio’d.