Friday, September 10, 2010

I got an internet tattoo

It’s supposed to be bad luck to get a tattoo with the name of the person you’re dating – a common superstition. It’s almost like you’re asking the powers-that-be (the invisible ones in the love department) to cast a shadow on your currently wonderful relationship. It’s a shadow that could in evidently lead to the demise of the partnership. Then you’re stuck with this person’s name permanently scrawled on your skin for the rest of your life. It’s one thing to have memories of this person; it’s another thing to have a daily reminder of the break-up every time you look in the mirror.

I start this post with that in mind. The love of my life knows how much I love to write, pour out my crazy thoughts and perspectives on life, yet he pointed out this week that I have never mentioned him in any of my posts since we got togetherA new world has emerged in the form of the World Wide Web. It is virtually a living entity, one which is permanent and very public. I do have a private side, but for the most part, I am an open-book, unashamed to share my emotions, thoughts and life adventures - hence, this very blog.

When it comes to me writing about him in my blog, though, I feel like I am getting a tattoo with his name on it. Once you put it on the internet, you can’t take it back LOL.

I can’t imagine my life without him right now, but I don’t want to “jinx” what we have. I love him dearly, as he is one of the best things that have ever happened to me. It may be superstitious, but I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize the purest love I may have ever felt, aside from my family. We all know that family love, even in its purest form, is different from that of a significant other.Considering he is such a huge part of my life, he is right. I should honor our relationship and introduce you to Jeff.

We met on Match. We joke that we should be one of those couples on those commercials. I am 7 years his senior. It’s not as “old” as it sounds though LOL. At this moment I am 33 and he is 26. You wouldn’t know it if you saw us together, maybe it’s because I look a lot younger than 33? We’re just two people very much in love. We have become the best of friends; ones who can have fun doing anything or doing nothing at all, as long as we are together. Sure he is attractive – that’s a given… and I am not saying to this to blow up his ego (as he is very modest)… he is one of the kindest souls I have ever met. Very loving devoted friend. He loves life and I know he loves me.

Prior to meeting him earlier this year, I can’t say I had given up on love. I know it exists. I felt it before and I know soooo many people who are immersed in it. It is indescribable. A number of men have floated in and out of my life since my divorce at 28 – but I never found that “click.” That certain spark, one which makes you stops in your tracks.

When Jeff contacted me online I blew him off. Who is this (then) 25 year old trying to “land” an older woman? (I can’t believe I just referred to myself as an older woman!) But eventually I gave him my regular email address and then my phone number. It’s like we were just two friends who hadn’t seen each other in a while. He made me dinner for our first date. He went all out. Flowers, candles, etc. Sure, you can say he was trying to get up a seduction scene, but his sweetness prevailed and sucked me in completely.

6 months later, we are enjoying every minute together – through thick and thin, he has been my shoulder to cry on, and at times I have been his rock.

I hope he is “the one.” I have always been a free-thinker and independent. I am the kind of person who doesn’t rely on another person to make me happy. I know that comes from within. But he has truly brought an unprecedented level of happiness in my life, amidst some of the roughest points in my life. I am blessed to have him in my and I only pray he is here to stay.