Here's a trailer for Abduction, a new John Singleton thriller starring Shark Boy himself, Twilight wolf-hunk Taylor Lautner. (Shouldn't it have been called Absduction?) This is a big movie, full of guns and explosions and soft-core Amtrak sex scenes, that's all resting squarely on Lautner's rippling shoulders. Can he do it?

Well, first off, he is aided by a surprising cast of heavyweights. Jason Isaacs, Maria Bello, Alfred Molina, and believe it or not Sigourney Weaver are all on hand to help bear the burden of this thriller — about Lautner's parents, and probably Lautner himself, being super secret super spies. But yeah, mostly this is all Taylor's movie. Judging from this brief trailer, he looks to acquit himself nicely in the parkour-lite action sequences, bouncing around Pittsburgh like a little wolf-monkey. In terms of the ol' acting chops, well he's never been anything to write home, or anywhere else, about, but that doesn't matter for this! He just needs to run on a few simple emotions: confused, energized, energized and turned on, and satisfied. Right? That's basically all you need to do when you're the star of an action film.

So here he is, ladies and gents. The millennials' answer to "Where did all the Bruce Willises go?" They're right here. In the squat little muscle-boi from the Twinkle movies. Hurray.