It’s funny that I’m blogging about attention whoring, considering that blogging itself is an attention whore’s raison d’être. [that’s attention-whore-ese for, “The french words I just used for ‘reason for existence’ are so sophisticated, don’t you think?”]

I just saw an article about David Cameron, the prime minister of England, pushing for a rating system for music videos, much like the ratings system for movies. (link here)

Normally, I would argue that any attempt at censorship is ill-conceived and destined for failure. But now that I’m a father and have seen, first hand, the effects of our completely fucking retarded culture on the tabula rasa [Latin for ‘blank slate’. Look at me, I’m positively dripping with profundity!] of my daughter’s mind, I’m not so sure.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not often offended by anything. When I am, I usually enjoy it just as much as I like offending people if there’s a thought-provoking reason for it. But when I see a “music” video of Rihanna about to suck a dick in a bathtub that’s supposedly for consumption by anyone with questionable taste and an internet connection, including my daughter, I start thinking, “is this just free speech?”

Rihanna, about to get fucked in an uncomfortable place. The bathtub.

I used to not care. [Maybe I still don’t, and I’m just reaching for a reason to tell you how smart I think I am.] Before I was the father of a girl, I hardly ever had to think of women as anything except extremely talkative life-support devices for their vaginas. I’m sure the portrayal of women in the media I grew up consuming had something to do with that.

And I’m definitely no prude. I fully support a person’s right to enjoy all varieties of pornography and filth if it’s between consenting adults and they’re resourceful enough to know where to look for it. But this is something different. This is popular culture; allegedly fit for mass consumption. This is YouTube. All my kid has to do is search for Rihanna and this video is currently the top result.

It’s an obvious contradiction in Americanized culture. Women should be treated as equals to men, but they are frequently upset when men ogle their tits and asses rather than judging them on their other merits. But I don’t hear anyone except the types of old ladies in the local sewing klavern gasping in horror at videos like this. If anything, my wife and her friends enjoy this shit and have no issues sharing it with their daughters.

Is a Rihanna video something I could point at and tell my daughter, this is an acceptable way to comport yourself? Is she a good person to emulate if my daughter wants men to do something other than objectify her? Why should I even have to be concerned that my daughter is worrying about things like this yet?

Maybe if Rihanna had some substance to her act other than her nearly visible vulva, it wouldn’t be an issue. If she was a talented musician or lyricist who was using sex to sell her albums, there might be a redeeming quality to act as a counterbalance to the conspicuous attention whoring. But she’s not, and there isn’t. Her songs and lyrics are written for her, and her voice is heavily autotuned because she can’t actually sing. Her ass is the product and the substance.

Substance. Come get some.

I know singling out Rihanna is an exercise in futility when you consider the rampant celebration of mediocrity and empty sexuality in our popular culture and media. But I get upset when I think of my daughter looking at someone like her and thinking that she’s the apex of femininity. It’s fucked up and it shouldn’t be that way.

Advertising and marketing pimps like the ones who created Rihanna’s music career figured out a long time ago that pandering to our basest instincts was the most effective way to sell stuff. Rihanna’s only salable commodity is her attractiveness and sexuality. The music is hardly even part of the equation. Until they stop viewing everything as a product and we stop providing the attention they so desperately crave, nothing will change.