ELBYdotNET

Thursday, July 11, 2002

>Foreign Approach
>
>People in other countries sometimes go out of their way to communicate
with
>their English-speaking tourists. Here is a list of signs seen around
the
>world. How cute!
>
>Cocktail lounge, Norway : LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN
IN THE
>BAR.
>
>At a Budapest zoo : PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY
>SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.
>
>Doctors office, Rome : SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
>
>Information booklet about using a hotel air-conditioner, Japan :
COOLES AND
>HEATES : IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE
CONTROL
>YOURSELF.
>
>Sign in men's rest room in Japan : TO STOP LEAK TURN COCK TO THE RIGHT
>
>On the grounds of a private school : NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.
>
>In a City restaurant : OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.
>
>In a cemetery : PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY
BUT
>THEIR OWN GRAVES.
>
>Sign in Japanese public bath : FOREIGN GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO
PULL
>COCK IN TUB.
>
>Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations : GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO
SMOKE OR
>DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.
>
>On the menu of a Swiss restaurant : OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO
HOPE
>FOR.
>
>In a Tokyo bar : SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.
>
>In a Bangkok temple : IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A
FOREIGNER IF
>DRESSED AS A MAN.
>
>Hotel brochure, Italy : THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND
SOLITUDE.
>IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS
SOLITUDE.
>
>Hotel, Yugoslavia : THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE
JOB OF
>THE CHAMBERMAID.
>
>Hotel, Japan : YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
>
>In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox
monastery:
>YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET
>COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.
>
>
>From the "Soviet Weekly" : THERE WILL BE A MOSCOW EXHIBITION OF ARTS
BY
>15,000 SOVIET REPUBLIC PAINTERS AND SCULPTORS. THESE WERE EXECUTED
OVER
>THE PAST TWO YEARS.
>
>Hotel, Vienna : IN CASE OF FIRE, DO YOUR UTMOST TO ALARM THE HOTEL
PORTER.
>
>A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest : IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON
OUR
>BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE,
MEN
>AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH
EACH
>OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.
>
>A laundry in Rome : LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE
>AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.
>
>Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia : TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY
TOURS.
>WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.
>
>Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand : WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON
YOUR
>OWN ASS?
>
>Airline ticket office, Copenhagen : WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN
ALL
>DIRECTIONS.
>
>