This article is a modern-day take on the events that took place in II Kings 4:38-41. It is directed primarily at a pre-teen audience, but is also for anyone who enjoys this type of "over-the-top" humor. My goal in writing these sorts of stories is to interest people in reading the Bible, both the Old Testament and New, to see if these things are really so. This particular story covers the basic concepts of sin, sickness, and healing through God's Word.
Stu’s Stew

Stu was in a real stew. His heart was burning, his insides were churning, and he felt as if someone was playing bocce ball with his brain. Throb, throb, throb. Guilt hammered his tender conscience to a pulp as the noise of aching students pounded his brain.

“Great day to get botulism”; “You only get botulism from canned food”; “Great day to get salmonella poisoning then”; “Nah, there’s no salmon in this stew”; “Maybe it’s malaria”; “Malaria? No way! I say it’s cholera. And I’m right.”

But what did it matter who was right? They were sick and they needed help.

Unfortunately the nearest doctor was fifty miles away, a recent thunderstorm had cooked the phone lines, and the only available cell phone had been left in the rain by - guess who? - Never-check-your-pockets-before-running-the-wash-machine Stu.

With nowhere to turn and no stomach pump in sight, the fifteen ill students did the only thing they could do.

They made a mad dash for the bathroom.

Meanwhile in a small cottage just down the road from the school, wise old professor Elisha Whittleby awoke from his sleep with a start. He had a feeling something was wrong. But he couldn't put his finger on it. He sniffed the air and ran into the kitchen.

Same old smells as always. Nothing there.

He ran outside and sniffed the air again.

The smell made him nauseous. And it was coming from the school.

Elisha felt that sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. Who could have possibly broken into the lab on a Saturday night, and if so, why would they attempt such a dangerous stunt?

A gas mask clamped on his nose, Elisha followed the insidious stench over to the science lab where to his chagrin he discovered that his greatest fears had come true.

As soon as Elisha entered the laboratory, a horrible smell assaulted his nostrils. He felt his eyes burn. Things were worse than he thought.

A toxic green goo was bubbling out of a hot beaker left sitting on one of the burners. From that goo, vaporous fingers were reaching for Elisha’s throat. The professor hurriedly opened the windows, then headed for his desk. One by one he ransacked the drawers in a vain attempt to find the rubber gloves that were sitting nice and cozy in his back pant pocket.

A gloveless Elisha used his bare left hand to turn off the burner that Stu in his infinite wisdom had left on “high.” Ouch! With his un-scalded hand he reached into a cabinet, grabbed a small bottle of unadulterated “God’s Word Whole Grain Bread Flour,” and sprinkled it into the beaker. He waited.

Stu’s stew gave a long wheeze, followed be a few coughs. The mixture simmered down, and a wonderful fragrance replaced the rotten stench.

Elisha removed his gas mask. He opened the classroom door wide in order to give the sweet odor plenty of wafting room. Just then Stu popped his head out of the corner cabinet in which he had been hiding, startling Elisha and sending his false sense of serenity crashing to the ground.

Crunch! Right on his toe!

Elisha was about to scold Stu for his illegal and dangerous act when two more students appeared out of nowhere, drawn like a magnet to the wonderful fragrance that filled the room.

One by one the students breezed in. Elisha gave them each a teaspoonful of Stu’s stew, which had been turned into a wonderful antacid through the power of God’s Word Whole Grain Bread Flour.

After dinner, the professor and his students discussed what they had learned as a result of the uncalled for experiment.

First, they all agreed that breaking into the lab unsupervised and without permission was a bad idea, and that a "snack attack at midnight" was no excuse for such wild and uncalled for behavior.

Second, doing unsupervised experiments with strange ingredients was just plain crazy, even if the vials were decorated with cute little smiley faces that “begged” innocence. According to Elisha, that’s was how man-eating plants attracted their prey. They made their deadly fruit look happy, just like sin. Such fruit has a way of making you sick to your stomach. Quite literally.

To avoid stuff like that, it’s important to exercise discernment, pay attention in class, and stop watching so many commercials on TV.

Finally, the students learned that “God’s Word Whole Grain Bread Flour” is just plain good for you. Not only does it heal you of sin’s sick stew, it also keeps you in good health. Both now and forevermore.