"So
get back, back, back to where we lasted, just like I imagined, I
could never feel this waySo get back, back, back to the disaster,
my heart's beating faster, holding on to feel the same."

-Memory
by Sugarcult

Something
flashed in her mind, and her eyes snapped open, like a fleeting dream
had just touched her brow to awaken her. For a moment, she had a
brief sensation of disorientation, like her mind was disconnected
from the present, and her memories felt jumbled and unorganized.

It faded,
and Kouzuki Kallen shot up, realizing she wasn't alone.

"Good
morning, Kallen," Lelouch said slowly, standing behind the glass
wall of her cell, smiling widely, dressed, not in his white Emperor's
robes but the familiar black uniform of an Ashford Academy student.
"I hope you had a pleasant sleep."

Behind him,
Jeremiah Gottwald stood holding a brown package, a conflicted
expression on his face- but she barely noticed it, as that familiar
feeling of rage and betrayal surged into her veins upon seeing the
Emperor of Brittania.

"I was,"
Kallen replied coldly, narrowing her eyes. "What brings you here
today, Lelouch? I thought the ruler of the world had better things to
do than see his former pawns."

Instead of
answering, Lelouch merely continued smiling and said, "Jeremiah
here has a change of clothes for you. I'll be back in an hour once
you get ready."

She blinked.

"Get ready
for what?"

---

"Is this
some really weird form of torture?"

Lelouch gave
her a bemused look. "I take you out into the private gardens of my
palace, and you call it torture?" he gestured out to the wide,
sprawling area, briefly flicking a glance up at the gorgeous blue
sky. "It's such a nice day, isn't it?"

Kallen
sneered back. "Excuse me if I don't particularly trust you, given
your history. And the handcuffs and armed escorts don't seem to
indicate you trust me very much either."

The Emperor
shrugged, giving her a helpless look. "I trust you to a point,
Kallen, but I'm afraid I don't trust you not to punch my face in
and try to take me hostage in a futile attempt to save you and your
friends."

Kallen
flushed- okay, maybe that had been the rough sketches of her plan had
she gotten free of her constraints, and even now the temptation to
kick Lelouch in his stupid smug face was pretty high, even with the
certainty of being shot right afterwards.

"If you
promise to be a good girl, I may release you from these constraints,"
Lelouch offered, a smirk playing on the edges of his lips. "But be
warned- if I let you out of them, and you should attack me or attempt
to escape, Jeremiah will activate the nerve gas in the air
circulation system of the prison your friends are still captive in,
and kill them all. And trust me, it will not be an easy death."

Kallen's
blood ran cold and she stared at him in shock. Even now, adjusting to
the cruel, ruthless methods that Lelouch used was difficult. She
didn't dare question the existence of such a thing- it would be
just like this new, cruel Lelouch to have such a measure in place in
case of any emergency.

"Do we
have a deal?" the Emperor asked, smirking a little wider. "All
I'm asking is for the pleasure of your company for a few hours.
You'll be completely free, as long as you respect the rules of our
deal."

She stayed
silent, still unwilling to trust him, after all this time.

"I'll
even sweeten the deal," he continued. "I'll answer any
questions you might have, truthfully. No lies."

She laughed
bitterly. "Like I'm going to trust you at your word."

"I swear
it," he said flatly, gazing directly into her eyes, fixing her with
that same gaze that once made her stomach flutter and her heart skip
a beat. Even now, it held sway over her, and they both knew it.
"What've you got to lose, even if I do lie, Kallen?"

"Why are
you doing this?" the redhead asked suddenly, giving him a hard,
searching look. "What's in it for you?"

"You'll
understand soon enough," Lelouch assured her, and for a moment, the
smirk faded, and was replaced by an unreadable expression, a myriad
of emotions flashing through his eyes before they settled into an
impassive mask. "Well?"

"…
deal," Kallen muttered, and prayed she wouldn't regret it.

---

They were
walking past a beautiful gathering of magnolias when Kallen found
herself unable to keep up the cold silent treatment she'd been
determinedly giving Lelouch thus far. Before she'd been captured,
even at the battle of Damocles, she'd had so many questions for
him, questions she'd never gotten around to asking or never
received a straight answer for.

If he was
really serious about telling the truth- no, even if he wasn't, and
the only things he would say were lies- at least she'd have an
answer of some meager kind.

"Why?"
she found herself asking, glancing over at him, a kind of desperation
in her voice she wished she could hide. "Why are you doing all of
this?"

Lelouch
knelt in the midst of the flowers, absently fingering the petals, as
though he'd never seen such a shade before. After a long moment, he
said, "What would you do, Kallen, if you wanted to save the world
from itself?"

"You said
you'd answer me!" the redhead snapped irritably. "Or was that a
lie as well?"

"I am
answering you," the Emperor said softly, sounding almost tired.
"People are foolish, Kallen. They can't be bothered to save
themselves, not without the proper motivation. So I will be that
motivation."

"An empire
ruled through fear is not saving people!" Kallen hissed, and, for a
moment, longed to lunge over at him and grab him and throttle the
life out of him. Only the reminder that the lives of her friends and
allies depended on her control kept her from attacking him. She
settled for looking away from him. "I can't believe I trusted
you… that we actually believed in you. I thought you had the same
vision of a peaceful world that we did… not this… this…"

"Is this
not peace?" Lelouch challenged, glancing over at her, fingers
twisting the stalks of the flowers. "One nation, one empire, one
people. No one fights anymore, no one makes war."

"Because
they're afraid of you!"

He gave her
an icy stare. "Fear and hate are more powerful than love, despite
what the cinemas may tell you," he informed her tonelessly. "What
would you have done, Kallen, to stop the war? Do you think winning is
enough? That if you just beat Brittania and freed Japan, that
everything would change?"

Lelouch
sneered, an ugly, vicious look, like a vulture swooping in for a
carcass. "It wouldn't. Brittania would harbor vengeful thoughts,
hungry for the chance to pay you back for what you'd done, and
sooner or later the fighting would return, until one or both sides
are destroyed. There is no future down that road."

Kallen
looked away, unable to withstand the vehemence, the venomous
condescension in his voice. He was right.

He was
always right.

"So I'll
give the people a new vision. I'll make them forget their hate for
each other, and bury it with the fear of me."

"And what
then? So the people stop hating each other and start hating you- what
then, Lelouch?" Kallen questioned, voice barely above a whisper.

Lelouch
smiled, and it was one of the saddest things she'd ever seen,
something broken and fragile and beautiful.

"What
happens to all tyrants, Kallen?" he chuckled bitterly. "They
create an enemy of the people, and the people destroy them."

Kallen's
mouth fell open, her eyes wide.

Lelouch
glanced down at his watch. "Ah, it's tea time. Come, Kallen."

---

It took a
few minutes of blankly staring at her tea (jasmine) and the assorted
pastries that sat atop silver platters before she managed a response.

"Why are
you telling me all this?" she asked, suddenly afraid. Of what, she
didn't know, but she felt that if she spoke too loudly, this moment
would break and she'd awaken in her cell again, and Lelouch would
be a monster without remorse again.

Lelouch
sipped his tea, looking at her over the porcelain horizon of the
teacup. "I promised you the truth. Nothing more, nothing less,"
he replied, voice divorced from emotion. "It is yours to do with as
you will."

"But why
are you telling me this?" she pressed.

The
Emperor's eyebrows shot up, and he looked momentarily caught off
guard, before it broke into amusement. "Perceptive, aren't you,
Q-1? I suppose I merely wanted to tell somebody, before this ends…
someone who didn't know from the beginning."

He paused,
and then corrected himself, "No, that was a lie. I didn't want to
tell somebody. I wanted to tell you, Kallen," he said sincerely,
folding his hands and gazing directly across the table at her.

She looked
away. "And this? Why the walk outside? Why not just tell me in the
cell? Or before that, even?"

"I
couldn't tell you before this because… of a lot of reasons,"
Lelouch answered, sounding hesitant. "As for why I asked you to
accompany me today…" he smiled- a boy's smile, not the smile of
a general or a manipulator or a demagogue, but one of the boy that
Lelouch Lamperouge had been, once upon a time- "Call it a selfish
wish on my part. One last day with you, Kallen, before I return to my
role, and you to yours."

Kallen said
nothing for a long while, just sitting in her chair, face
expressionless.

And then,
finally…

"How did
you know I liked cherry scones?"

Lelouch gave
her a bemused look. "I do my homework. Please, take them. I know
you haven't eaten yet."

And so she
did, finding comfort in something as familiar and free of thought as
eating, drinking hearty gulps of her (now lukewarm) tea. She reached
for the teapot to pour herself another cup, but Lelouch placed a hand
over hers and smiled.

"Let me,"
he said softly, and let his fingers ghost across the skin on the back
of her hand as he moved his own hand over to the teapot, causing a
shiver to run down her spine and a pleasantly warm flutter in her
belly.

She flushed,
and barely mumbled a grateful "thanks" as he poured her the tea.

"Does C.C.
know?" Kallen asked suddenly, glancing up at him.

Lelouch
nodded. "Suzaku as well. It was a pact between the three of us."

"Why
didn't you include me?" she questioned, voice withdrawn, half
afraid he was going to reject her, or laugh at her for being silly
and thinking she was important enough to be included in his grand
schemes.

Lelouch
looked away, but she saw the flash of a pained grimace on his face
before he did. "I didn't… I wanted you to live Kallen. Not to
become the enemy of the world, to be hated, to be destroyed."

"But it
was okay for C.C. and Suzaku?" she challenged, eyes fierce.

"We have a
pact, C.C. and I, and I doubt I could get rid of her if I tried,"
Lelouch added, sounding vaguely annoyed, "And Suzaku understood
what I was doing better than anyone. He took part in this to hold me
to my promise."

Lelouch
coughed, looking uncomfortable. "Yes, well… it was for the best,
in a way… Suzaku knew his duty, and knew his life might be the
price for the peace we sought." He straightened, then, and gazed at
her with a serious look. "But enough of this. Forgive me, but I
wanted to spend this time on less… unpleasant matters."

"What
would you rather we do?" she asked, sounding suspicious.

The Emperor
tilted his head to the side, folding his hands as he did so and
leaning forward. "Let us pretend that you and I are just an
ordinary man and woman, having a pleasant time together."

"What,
like a date?" Kallen flushed a deep scarlet. This was ridiculous-
less than three hours ago she was in a prison cell and now she was on
a date with Lelouch?

"Why not?"
Lelouch said casually, and gently laid a hand atop her own. "Is
that such an unpleasant fiction, Kallen?"

She
squirmed, and felt that damnable flutter in her stomach again.

He chuckled,
and let go of her hand- the absence of it felt like a phantom wound.
"Come. There's still some time, and I'd like to show you the
rest of this place."

---

They came to
a spot that looked like someone had sequestered a small corner of
paradise and transplanted it into Lelouch's garden.

"This
place is beautiful," Kallen breathed. She'd never seen so many
different flowers, all shades and colors she could imagine, and grass
like the highest grade of emerald stretching as far as she could see.
Nearby, a small stone gazebo made out of polished marble shined in
the sun.

"It's a
recreation," Lelouch admitted softly, standing next to her. "Of
my mother's garden in the Aries villa palace. The original is gone
now, destroyed by FLEIJA, but I've done my best to recreate it from
memory." His face grew nostalgic. "I had fond memories of that
place. Perhaps some of the few I have at all."

She looked
away. She wanted to ask him about Nunnally, and if she'd seen this
garden- and more importantly, if she knew her brother wasn't a
total heartless monster. But she felt that if she asked, she would
only hurt him more- God only knew how much it hurt him already to
pretend to be such a vicious, calculating creature in front of the
only people he cared about.

She wanted
to be his strength- right now, maybe that was what he really wanted,
what he needed from her.

On a daring
impulse, Kallen reached over and grabbed his hand, shutting her eyes
so she wouldn't see his reaction.

"Tell me
about them," she whispered softly, and squeezed his hand. She
chanced a look up at his face- the expression was of surprise, but
maybe not an unpleasant one.

"Alright,"
he agreed, and squeezed back.

---

They talked
for what seemed like hours, sitting on the marble edges of the
gazebo, watching the sun pass overhead. He spoke about playing with
Nunnally and the princess Euphemia, about trying to teach them to
play chess, about being subjected to their attempts at cooking
(Euphemia got better, but Kallen learned not to trust anything
Nunnally made with an oven- her onigiri was fine, Lelouch assured
her, but the cakes were less than palatable), and after a lengthy
session of teasing the story out of him, the time Nunnally and
Euphemia forced him to choose which one to marry.

And she
responded in kind, telling him about a similar story she had with her
older brother, Naoto, and they spoke about him at length as well.

"He sounds
like a fine man," Lelouch complimented, smiling wistfully. "I
wish I had been gifted with the chance to meet him."

"He would
have liked you," Kallen said, smiling back, though her eyes were
sad. "I think he would have trusted you more than we were able to.
He was a great judge of character… I learned a lot from him."

"But
that's just it!" she said, sounding desperate. "I didn't
trust you! I wasn't able to understand you until now…"

"I'm not
a good person, Kallen," Lelouch responded, glancing away, voice
flat and devoid of any kind of feeling. "You were right to distance
yourself from me."

"You are a
good man," Kallen whispered, leaning closer to him, so that their
faces were nearly touching. He looked back at her, and their eyes
met, fixed upon each other, like wandering stars caught in each
other's orbits.

"Kallen,"
he breathed softly, and their lips touched.

It was
nothing like their last kiss, full of bitterness and unsaid feelings,
Kallen full of desperation and Lelouch forcing himself to remain dead
in inside.

This, Kallen
decided, was what a kiss should be- soft and passionate, tender and,
dare she admit it, loving. His hand sifted through her hair, his
other wrapping around her to draw her deeper into the kiss.

And then the
moment was over, and they were both separated, panting slightly,
gazing at each other, a precious moment of silence falling between
them.

"Let's
go away, Lelouch," Kallen suddenly said, and grabbed his hands,
clasping them with her own, her gaze pleading. "You've done
enough. You don't… you don't have to die."

He said
nothing, expression blank as a cloudless sky.

Her tone
picked up, desperation and longing fueling her voice. "Can't we
go somewhere? Just the two of us? Away from..."

Lelouch
placed a gentle finger over her lips, shushing her with a kind
whisper. "I would have liked that," he said sincerely, and
smiled. "Yes, I think that would have been lovely, Kallen."

"Lelouch-sama,"
Jeremiah's voice suddenly broke through the moment, and the knight
appeared behind him, looking pained as he bowed deep and low. "It's
time."

The Emperor
said nothing, biting his lip, looking away from her, refusing to meet
her eyes.

"I'm
sorry, your majesty, but…" Jeremiah continued, voice sounding
almost as if he were begging.

"I know!"
Lelouch snapped, and the sound of his fury was like thunder, causing
both Kallen and Jeremiah to shrink back before him. "I know," he
repeated, quieter, sounding tired, as he stood up, away from Kallen.

She stood as
well, giving him a confused look. "What's going on, Lelouch?"

"Lelouch?"
Kallen repeated, and reached out for his hand- and was shocked and
not a little hurt when he pulled it away.

"Our
pleasant fiction is over, Kallen," he murmured, voice thick and
choked with regret, "I thank you for going along with my selfish
little wish."

She opened
her mouth to question him again, brow furrowing in confusion, but
before she could, he reached up to his eyes, motioning towards the
contacts he wore, that shielded the people from his Geass ordinarily.

The
realization dawned upon her like a keening northern wind, cutting her
down to the bone. "No…" she whispered, horrified. "You
can't…"

"I'm
sorry, but this is the only way," Lelouch said softly, hands
pausing over his face, just waiting to unleash the power hidden
beneath the thin contacts. "I don't want you to live with only a
'what if', Kallen… I want you to live on, truly, and be happy,
without me."

"Jeremiah
cancelled that last Geass this morning as you slept, and freed me to
cast this one," the Emperor answered, hesitation filling his voice.
His fingers quivered, and it seemed like he was waging a war within
himself not to pull his hand away and leave this moment be.

An errant
tear trailed down his cheek.

"Goodbye,
Kallen."

His fingers
removed the contacts, and the terrible crimson light of Geass was
unleashed.

"Lelouch
vi Brittania commands you… forget today!"

Kallen felt
the presence in her mind, the overwhelming blackness that wanted to
consume her consciousness, that roared and whispered simultaneously,
that ordered in the voice of a god to submit to Lelouch's voice.

(FORGET)

But she
fought it- she fought it with all the desperation of a woman who
wasn't about to lose the one she loved again. And even gods might
bow before such a love.

"Don't…"
she managed, voice broken and strained. Oh God please don't do
this, not now, don't take him away from me…

Lelouch
trembled, but said nothing.

(SUBMIT)

Please
don't make me forget.

It was too
strong.

"At
least…" she panted, and shook her head violently- she wasn't
going to lose to his Geass, not yet. "At least…"

Don't
let this be the end.

The voice
roared again.

(SUBMIT.FORGET.)

"Tell me…
do you…"

(SUBMIT.
SUBMIT. SUBMIT)

She wasn't
going to lose him again. Not again.

Please
don't make me-

(FORGET.
FORGET. FORGETFORGETFORGETFORGETFORGETFORGET)

"Do you
love me, Lelouch?"

Please I
love him please don't-

His lips
moved, but his words were lost on Kallen as blackness overwhelmed
her, and she collapsed.

Why can't
we just stay here forever, Lelouch?

(FORGET)

---

"What are you doing here?" Kallen sneered, rage and hate filling
her eyes. Her fists clenched, as though she longed to have them
around his throat.

Lelouch looked away, but, just for an instant, she swore that she
saw a tear escape his eyes. But when he looked back, his eyes were
clear and cold, and she decided it was just a trick of the light.

"It's time for your execution," he informed her, an unpleasant
smile on his face. "Come."

"You really are a heartless bastard," Kallen spat, gaze full of
defiance, fueled by the blackest hate her heart could muster.

Lelouch smiled in answer, looking oddly melancholic.

"Yes," he agreed, nodding, "I am."

I really am.

Author's
Notes

"Is this
some really weird form of torture?" is a quote from the hilarious
Red vs Blue series, which is somewhat inappropriate to reference,
considering the nature of this story.

"Unpleasant
fiction" is a play on a phrase from the film Gladiator, "a
pleasant fiction".

With this, I
hoped to write a scene that I (and I hope other people who enjoy this
ship) wanted to see- Lelouch and Kallen having a true heart to heart,
understanding each other, and just having a moment to spend with each
other without lies.

Of course, I
then promptly destroyed all of that and made their ultimate fate as
tragic as I possibly could. But I'm a cruel, sadistic bastard- what
did you expect?

The author would like to thank you for your continued support. Your review has been posted.