10. Honesty the ninth

I was tired when I woke up by the alarm clock. I had slept uneasily and I hadn't stopped fantasizing about Niall. I know it sounds childish, but at the same time it's rather amusing to imagine what the future might look like. As I walked the long road to work, I couldn't help but look at all the people. I discovered that many walked hand in hand and I smiled at the thought. I no longer had to be jealous, and I longed for the day when Niall was going to holding my hand. Maybe we wouldn't do it in public, but still?

"You're pale!" Andy seemed to see right through me and when he smiled, I knew that he understood. I blushed and quickly, I went and picked up my name tag. When I came out in the store again, it was as if he had been waiting for me. He saw at me that something had happened and he gave me that face, "I understand it all and you will now tell me everything."I swallowed and I played hard.

"We have a lot to do today." I said and I tried to avoid him. Andy laughed and he stopped me by grabbing my arm. "So easy, you wont get away, lady!" he said firmly. "What happened?" I felt my cheeks really blushed and I tried to collect myself. "Not much!" was the reply card. "He just kissed me and we are together." Andy screamed almost straight out in delight. "I knew it!" he giggled and I saw that he got big eyes. "Jenny, now it's just to play the right cards. You have to have fancy underwear on, just in case he goes further and...." I was startled and I gave him a warning glance. "Let's not anticipate events." I muttered quickly. "I kissed him and he's not such a guy who just wants to have sex." Andy was startled. "He is gay?" I laughed and I quickly shook my head. "No he's not gay, but he's not the guy who's just looking for one thing. He's serious and he's taking it easy. I want to take it easy." He sneezed. "You're a bore Jenny." he sighed almost disappointed. "I know there are those guys out there, but most just want one thing." I smiled a little bit and I raised my eyebrows. "But on Friday, he will take with me to a party and maybe you can help me with clothes?" Direct his face lit up like the sun, and he clapped with his hands. "Yes, I promise to dress you up like a princess and you'll be the prettiest girl in London, if not in the world."

♥

Andy took me to another clothing store after work. Okay, it was more expensive clothes from what I was used to, but at the same time it was worth spending some money. I wanted that Niall would be proud of me and that he would consider me beautiful. Andy chose a dress that was sexy, but not overly sexy. He chose underwear and he even found shoes for me.

"This is expensive." I mumbled as we walked toward the checkout. He sighed and quickly he picked up his own wallet. "I'll pay." I shook my head quickly. "No, I can afford it, but I'm not used to buy this kind of clothes." He sighed a little bit and then he smiled big. "We can do like this. I pay and you can pay back the money when you can afford it?" I didn't want to do that! I chose to pick up my own wallet and I paid with my money. "No, thank you, but no!"

♥

When I came into the stairwell, I was flabbergasted. In the middle of the stairs sat a troubled Niall and he stood up as soon as he saw me. "Hello?" I mumbled. He smiled uncertainly and he looked at me and he looked at the bags in my hand. "I was worried." he mumbled. "When you weren't on skype or at home, I thought..." he hesitated. "I was worried." I laughed a little bit and I went up to him. I hugged him lightly. Niall was quick to catch me up on his arms and he seemed to take a breath. "I know I'm being silly." he whispered tenderly. "But I don't want anything to happen to you." "You could have called on the cell phone?" He agreed. "I wasn't thinking about that. All I could think of was that you were injured or that you were in the hospital." I admit that I was touched. I had no idea that he cared so much about little me. I finished the hug and I looked at him with a reassuring glance. "I'm okay." I said. "I was just in a different store and bought a dress for Friday." Niall lit up and he looked curiously at my bags. "You have to show me!" I shook my head. I chose to obey Andy. He had said that Niall wouldn't see the clothes until I had them on on Friday. "No, I want it to be a surprise."

♥

I just put the bags in the closet. Niall seemed curious, but in the end he let the thought about the clothes be dropped and he sat down on the sofa. "What was it like on your job?" I smiled and I walked over to him. "It was okay." I replied. "I'm a little tired, but I'm alive." He quickly pulled me down on his lap, which surprised me. I didn't mind, so I took my arms around his neck and I giggled lightly against him. "I thought of you." he mumbled. "I missed you all day." It felt wonderful. I felt his arms around my body and it was like I came home. Did al people felt like this when they were newly in love? "I missed you too." I whispered. Niall smiled and then he kissed me. Damn, he was so wonderful kisser and I really didn't want to stop. He had to make it a habit to always kiss me. In that case I would only be in his arms all the time. His tongue played with mine, the first time that happen, and I felt him pulling me towards him. He made sure I ended up straddling his lap and he pressed me hard against him. It was the first time I felt that he had something hard down there. I landed with my most sensitive part against it, and he almost rubbed me against it. I didn't mind, but I must admit that my lack of experience made me blush. I had sex once, but it was anything but a bad memory. I had regretted it and after that I had said to myself that I wouldn't have sex more times. The problem was that as I sat in Nialls knee, I couldn't think of a single reason not to have sex.

I landed on my back on the couch and Niall lay on top of me. I spread my legs and I felt him against me. I felt all of him over me and I was excited. Niall had his arms tightly around me and I heard he groaned. His lips were hot and he was charmed by me. He moved on the hip and I felt that I was wet. I also began to moan. Even though we had all the clothes on, it felt like we were naked. It was as if my imagination took over and I could almost feel Niall inside me. "We shouldn't." Niall mumbled between kisses. I agreed with him, but none of us finished it. He seemed to do as me. Thinking one thing, but the body said otherwise. His one hand slipped down and it landed under my butt. I felt how he almost hugged my butt with his hand and it just made me become more excited. I took my legs around his waist and I went with him in the slightest movements. He was really hard down there and he almost groaned against my lips. The hand slid eventually inside my pants and panties. He held it hard against my butt, and both showed no signs of wanting to quit.

Niall ended the kiss and he lifted his face. He was red and I saw that he was really excited by my body. His mouth was wide open and he was breathed heavy. He continued to move all over me. "We really shouldn't." he whispered. "But I can't stop..." The hand slid around me and it landed inside my panties between my legs. I felt how he started to fondle me and I gasped. "Niall we should stop?" He nodded and he smiled. I moaned louder when he perfectly brought the fingers over my most sensitive part and I closed my eyes. Niall went on and I showed no signs that I didn't wanted that. I felt one of his finger penetrated. I gasped and immediately I forced him to kiss me again. I should be ashamed that I reacted that way but my brain stopped working. I quit being smart and the only thing I thought of was that I wanted more. Niall moaned against me, and he let his hand work faster. It started as a hunch down there. Far inside me woke something to life. When he let two fingers slide in and out of me, it was like I was stuffed. I whimpered, I was shaking and I couldn't get enough of it. I was only aware about what happen down there and I was only aware that I wanted more. I moved up and down against his hand. I took my arms tighter around Nialls neck and I pressed him against me. I almost lost control of being me. I don't know how he managed to do it but finally I exploded into a thousand pieces. I almost bit his lip when my body fell. I didn't know what to do and my body was like a fireworks. I threw back my head and I pressed myself against his hand. I reached the top of the top. It was like I stopped breathing and I couldn't even feel anything other than what he did to me. I screamed, before the body slowly began to fall back and I ended up in a fog. Such a mist that appeared after a storm.

"I couldn't resist." Niall whispered, and he took his hand away. I just gasped and I wondered how he had managed to do that. I opened my eyes and I immediately saw his smile. He looked almost happy. Why was he happy? It should be me who was glad, but I just blushed and I felt ashamed. "But you? Don't you want to.... do it?" He shook his head and he kissed me. "No, I wanted to do something for you. We wont go all the way, not yet."

♥

I felt small. How could I let him do that to me? Okay, I must admit that I had loved it, but at the same time it felt so forbidden. All my dreams about not letting a guy to seduce me was forgotten. The only thing I had left was that I wouldn't go all the way with him.

We lay on the couch. I was almost on top of Niall and we saw an old movie. I felt his hands around my body and it was wonderful, but I couldn't stop thinking about what had happened. "Do you do that often?" I got out of me. Niall laughed a little bit. "What are you talking about? Doing what?" I blushed and I looked at him. "What you did before, with me. Do you do so with girls?" He laughed and he shook his head. "No darling (I gasped when he called me that) I usually don't even dare to touch a girl, but I couldn't resist." he looked into my eyes. "Did I hurt you or embarrassed you?" What could I say? I felt my cheeks became even more red and I chose to put my head back against his chest. "I was just wondering." Niall was amused. "Jenny, I've had girls before you and you've had guys before me." he whispered happily. "I'm not a virgin and when I ended up on top of you, I just wanted you to think it was nice. That's all." I swallowed. I asked the questions I didn't want the answers to, but at the same time, I wanted to know. "How many have you been with?" Okay, he didn't have to answer such a stupid question, but still he did. "Two and you?" I swallowed. Now I had the chance to lie, but I was so stupid that I told the truth. "I've only done it once." I quivered at the voice. "I was so disappointed that I decided never to do that again." I was relieved that he wasn't laughing at me. Instead, he took his hand under my chin and he made me looked up at him. "Sorry." he whispered tenderly, and I saw at him that he understood why I had reacted, like I had reacted. "I promise not to take advantage of you and I promise not to do anything more that what you want to do." I nodded. I felt silly, I felt mean. Yet he smiled and he nodded with satisfaction. "And it's good that you are honest with me." I agreed. I didn't want to lie to him. "One more thing." I whispered. It was just as well that the truth came out. "I haven't felt so much for another person before. That as I feel for you is..." I dropped the words. I noticed that Niall wasn't smiling. He looked at me seriously and I almost thought that I had said too much. Instead, he pulled me up the little bit, so that my face landed beside his and then he kissed me. He took his arms around my body and he kissed me softly. When he finished it he was still serious. "I agree." he whispered. "I haven't felt like this before either." I believed in him, but still I got a silly question out of my lips. "But those other two girls?" He laughed a little bit and he looked at me with love. It was as if he memorized me for the future. "Girl number one took my virginity. Girl number two, I was just charmed by. I met her before we broke through, but she couldn't stand the pressure. I broke up with her, because we never met each other." It felt good that he was honest and it was wonderful because he dared to tell me more about him. "I didn't feel the same for them as I feel for you." he continued. "I actually haven't dared to feel anything in in many years." I smiled a little bit. "Thank you for tell me." He seemed to understand and he smiled awry. "And that guy who took your virginity? Should I be jealous of him, or is he just a nobody?" He said it with a twinkle in his eye, but at the same time wanted that I would answer. "He was a nobody." I got up. "I don't even know why we were together. I thought I had feelings for him, but after that night when we did it, it was all over. I was scared and he wanted more." Niall ran his hand through my hair and he seemed satisfied. "Good, because I don't want to compete for you." I laughed. "Huh?" He raised his eyebrows teasingly and he nodded firmly. "Is there any more guy that I should know about?" I laughed. "No, you're the only one." He was happy and he kissed me lightly. Then he laughed a little bit. "Good, because I want to be the only man in your life." I blushed, but it felt so wonderful to hear him say those words. "You are the only man that matters in my life." Niall giggled. "Good!" He kissed me again. I couldn't help but smile. It was as if we had gotten all the answers we needed and it didn't feel so strange anymore, to do everything with Niall. "You're mine!" he muttered hoarsely. I nodded and I ended the kiss. "But only if you are mine?" He gave me an angry look, jokingly. "Explain that to the fans." I punched him lightly on the chest. "You know what I mean?" He nodded. "And of course, you are the only woman in my life."

♥

When Niall had gone home, I picked up the bags from the closet and I hung up the dress on a hanger. The tingling in my stomach and I felt only happy. Talk about that I had the luck on my side. I had the most wonderful boyfriend and he seemed to understand me. He cared about me and he wanted me to feel good.

//I love honest people// Niall wrote on twitter. //Some allowed me to understand that there's a future// I smiled and I blushed. It still felt unreal that he wrote about me and that no one knew about it. The fans were like crazy and he had already received over a thousand comments. //Follow me! I love you Niall// I enjoyed. I knew Niall was mine and I was sure that no one else could replace me. I was there to stay and I was sure that Niall wouldn't let me leave him.