Processing Parenting, Perceptions, Paradox and Also Things That Don't Begin With "P"

8/19/2005

sensations

Cactus blooming two parcels down from our new home site. June.Good morning to me and to the squawking blue jays in the pines beyond me. And to the sun who is taking his sweet time waking up today...The past few days have not been reeking with abundant creativity or philisophical revelations. I only wish! Rather they have been spent ironing out details of new life in four weeks. Changing out cars (I no longer need the gas guzzling 4wd if I'm leaving the mountains), having this house inspected, appraised, finding a new residence, packing up the baby's freshly washed clothes and sorting them by age/size-the list continues. I kind of feel like a gypsy. Looking at it that way feels good anyway.I got up at five this morning mostly because I was hungry, but also because I wanted to drink in the smell of my beloved forest. I can't describe the scent satisfactorily, but to try I'd have to say it smells of pine needles, sage, damp compost and butterscotch. The smell is most fragrant in the early morning and about an hour or two after the sun goes down. It is the smell of summer camp, which I attended here at Camp Condor as a preteen and received my first kiss. The smell is one that always feels as if I'm experiencing it for the first time. I puff my lungs in and out, wanting to bottle it and knowing that when it's not there, I've forgotten exactly what it's like. A desperate feeling comes over me when I realize this-like when I misplace my wedding ring. I want to know it is there every day-to be reassured by it.I wonder how my new environment can compare to this...*sniff*.

9 Comments:

You are flexible and free flowin' (maybe you should be our water element right now). I love your home in the mountains, our little retreat...(and we can always take a retreat there when needed)I also know that you and B think through all of your decisions and that right now you need to move.I can't wait to see your new home and to visit you there. and I can't wait to meet your little one. He will be so loved, as are you, my friend!

I have been a gypsy my entire life, and I find it gets harder and easier at the same time the more I do it. I am ever so close to giving up on the idea of ever having a permanent home, and I'm not sure how I feel about that yet! New adventures always await us...

au contrare, wee mountain faerie. you described the scent of your beloved forest so well, it went beyond satisfactory. i could smell it just reading your words. You create magic with brush AND pen. confucius said "the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." you will discover new sights, sensations, and smells as you continue on your journey, but you also get to bring the imprints of the old ones with you.

Greetings, dear Pixie!I rediscovered you through a comment either on Keri's or Andrea's journal... not sure which now. In any case, I was thrilled to see your name, and your belly! Congratulations and excitations! We are both in flux, I see~ a scary and fertile place to be. Your writing and images are wonderful... Much love, Anna (pcf pookie)

Suppose I sent a personalized update to 5537~ would it still reach you? In the meantime, dearie, trust that things are *happening* ohmyyes. You can peek at my journal for a bit of recent babbling, but a real catch-up will be in progress... :) Anna

5537 pine mountain still works! but only for about another 3-4 weeks. after that, i will have to let you know. i think we will go the p.o. box route in bake as well!its so good to reconnect with you! *happening* is so mysteriously exciting!!! can't wait to hear what you've been up to. xo