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Stepson only likes black women??

My stepson is 2.5 years old and I have been a part of his life for 21 of those months. His father and mother are black, as well as his half-siblings that he lives with. I am white.

I have spent more money on this little boy than his own father has, because I honest to God love to see him happy. I try to spend as much 1-on-1 time with him as possible, we go shopping together, to the park, for walks in his wagon, etc. The thing is, he would drop me in a heart beat for a black woman. Even a stranger. He still listens to his father around these women, but not me. New women at church, he wants them to pick him up. If I pick him up, he cries and throws a tantrum. Both of his grandparents have come to spend time with him over summer break, these people haven't seen him in 2 years. He loved them the second he saw them, never throws a temper tantrum with them nor does he snatch things out of thier hands and say "mine" or "go away" like he does to me. Acts like the perfect little 2 year old. ANY BLACK WOMAN. When I first started dating his father, I was always called by my first name to him, because I am not his mother. Very rarely does he ever slip up and call me mom, but if he does, I don't make a big deal out of it. It happens like once every week or two. He meets his grandparents and within an hour is calling them both "mommy" and wants to be snuggled up in the arms all day. He only does this with me when we're completely alone. He loves me when it's just us two. But when we're around black women, he doesn't care about me at all and acts like I beat him or something. I do not do much of any discipline with him unless absolutely necessary. I leave that to his father. Anyways, my stupid little feelings are getting hurt by this continuously happening. I try to be the best "motherly figure" I can and I feel I just get walked on - by a toddler! I feel really dumb for saying all of this and I'd never tell my DH, so I guess I just need to vent. Why doesn't he care for me when there are other women around, and he gives complete strangers more respect than he'd ever give me (unless it was just us two hanging out). He would never dare to be rude to these other women, and they don't discipline him at all, he could get away with murder around these women. A part of me just wants to say fuck it and step away and stop caring if he truly even cares about me or how he looks at me. Like I've been wasting my time trying to form a relationship with him. Am I the only one who feels like this?

I'm sorry, my best bet would be to talk to your husband. Is he around his own mother often? It could just be a phase? I couldn't be further from this situation... But I know a lot of women on here are going to try and bash the hell out of you.

Thank you for giving me an honest answer. I do not have children of my own yet, so this is all new to me. How long do typical phases like this last?

It's weird though because his mother is never around. Like, she's in the city, but leaves the child with her older son to watch him so she can go clubbing and get her hair done and run around the city. Yet, I sit there and draw with him and practice talking because he is speech delayed due to a 14 year old raising him.

Do you believe if I just stick with what I am doing until he is older that him and I can have a better bond? It's not that he hates me, he just would much rather prefer to be around a black woman. He is asleep on his grandmother across from me on the couch right now. He has NEVER even attempted to sleep on me before lol. Before he fell asleep (she was already passed out) I asked him to come down so I can put a diaper on him for the night and he came down and just started crying hysterically and trying to climb back up on his grandma that he has known for all of 24 hours. I guess my biggest problem is that I feel I've put so much effort into this little boy and he could care less about me.. and by me doing this, I've developed a loving relationship towards him, but it's not reciprocated anymore.

Quoting smurfbitebug:

.. my two year old has gone through this stage where I was NOT her favorite person for quite a while. But Daddy, and anyone who looked like Daddy, was the shit.

This is what is happening. Except with him, his BM is the shit. (Mandatory chuckle at "BM is the shit")

The whole reason for this phase is probably because he sees her less. The phase lasted for almost the entire time DD was two.. she will be three in August and she is just now coming around. She cuddles with me much more often, chooses me over Daddy at key moments in time now.. but it will probably change back and forth through a lot of different phases in life.
It means absolutely nothing.
It doesn't mean he loves you less. Doesn't mean he isn't bonded to you well. Doesn't mean anything but that he misses her. That's all. That's it. So try not to take offense. It isn't intended to be offensive, ever.

Quoting Anonymous:

Thank you for giving me an honest answer. I do not have children of my own yet, so this is all new to me. How long do typical phases like this last?

It's weird though because his mother is never around. Like, she's in the city, but leaves the child with her older son to watch him so she can go clubbing and get her hair done and run around the city. Yet, I sit there and draw with him and practice talking because he is speech delayed due to a 14 year old raising him.

Do you believe if I just stick with what I am doing until he is older that him and I can have a better bond? It's not that he hates me, he just would much rather prefer to be around a black woman. He is asleep on his grandmother across from me on the couch right now. He has NEVER even attempted to sleep on me before lol. Before he fell asleep (she was already passed out) I asked him to come down so I can put a diaper on him for the night and he came down and just started crying hysterically and trying to climb back up on his grandma that he has known for all of 24 hours. I guess my biggest problem is that I feel I've put so much effort into this little boy and he could care less about me.. and by me doing this, I've developed a loving relationship towards him, but it's not reciprocated anymore.

Quoting smurfbitebug:

.. my two year old has gone through this stage where I was NOT her favorite person for quite a while. But Daddy, and anyone who looked like Daddy, was the shit.

This is what is happening. Except with him, his BM is the shit. (Mandatory chuckle at "BM is the shit")

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