Just Do Art! Week of Dec. 13, 2012

Whittle down that gift list, at Greenwich House Pottery’s “Made in Clay” sale (Dec. 14-15).

MADE IN CLAY HOLIDAY SALE | As sand continues to build in the bottom of your hourglass, clay could very well be the missing ingredient that allows you to finally start crossing some names off that long holiday shopping list. Potential gifts abound, as you explore some of the best in New York City ceramic arts — at Greenwich House Pottery’s annual “Made in Clay” sale. Featuring one-of-a-kind, handcrafted art from some of the greatest ceramists of the 20th century (as well as three floors of pottery and sculpture from the talented artists at Greenwich House Pottery), the studio pottery and sculpture of more than 35 jury-selected artists will be on display and up for grabs.

Photo by Kenna DraxtonJonathan Draxton as Heinrich Weiss, in “Soldier.”

SOLDIER | Written and performed by Jonathan Draxton, and directed by Kevin O’Rourke (Mayor Edward Bader on HBO’s “Boardwalk Empire”), the point of departure in “Soldier” happens where most stories end. Trapped on the banks of the River Styx, German officer Heinrich Weiss searches for coins to secure safe passage across the waters for he and his men. In the process of baring his soul, Weiss forces the audience to confront their own notions about the origins — and facets — man’s love affair with war.

Photo by G. Balkcom“No Name And A Bag O’ Chips” producer/host Eric Vetter (center) and his house band, The Summer Replacements.

NO NAME COMEDY SHOW | We could warn producer Eric Vetter that proclaiming his long-running “No Name And A Bag O’ Chips Comedy/Variety Show” to be the “best damn” thing of its type is grounds for making Santa’s “Naughty” list — but what’s the point? That innocent little swear is just the tip of the iceberg in terms of the funny, profane and probably shocking shenanigans set to go down at the next installment of “No Name.” Assuming they’re not being held for observation or stuck in the drunk tank, Vetter’s December 21 roster of talent will include Bob Greenberg (“Late Show with David Letterman”), Hilary Schwartz (“Nice Jewish Girls Gone Bad”) and Joseph Rocha (BET’s “Comic View”). House band The Summer Replacements bring some wintery funk to the proceedings and, living up to the salty promise of their name, you’ll be treated to a mini bag of chips (or a similarly cheap door prize).

Foul of mouth, fast of wit and green of hair, Hedda Lettuce is taking her holiday schtick out of the crisper for another installment of the annual December debacle known as “Lettuce Rejoice.” Armed with cutting observations, catty insults and just enough sweetness (and blackmail dirt) to make St. Nick’s “Nice” list, Ms. Lettuce will assault her willing audience with utterly tasteless versions of beloved classics — including “Here Comes Tranny Clause” (in which a sinister tranny ruins Xmas) and “Do You Hear What I Hear” reimagined as “Do You Think That He’s Queer” (about a fag hag desperately seeking a sexual relationship with a gay man). The talented pianist Paul Leschen accompanies our gal. Not content to limit herself to profane parodies, Lettuce mounts “a demented homage to the dearly departed Amy Winehouse” and favors one lucky comer with a basket full of Boy Butter Lubricantto. Don’t say we didn’t warn you. Sun., Dec. 16 at 9:30pm; Wed., Dec. 19 at 7pm; Sat., Dec. 22 at 9:30pm; Sun., Dec. 23 at 4pm & 9:30pm and Wed., Dec. 26 at 9:30pm. At The Metropolitan Room (34 W. 22nd St., btw. Fifth & Sixth Aves.). For tickets ($22/$25), visit metropolitanroom.com or call 212-206-0440.

To celebrate their rapid rise after being impacted by Sandy, the Borough of Manhattan Community College and BMCC Tribeca Performing Arts Center is making their first post-hurricane production a FREE event. Suitable for ages five and up, this musical version of “A Christmas Carol” (produced in partnership with Theatreworks USA) hits all the familiar narrative marks, with an emphasis on the story’s most humorous and touching moments — with the addition of songs meant to convey “Dickens’ original message that the holiday season should be a kind, forgiving, charitable time.” Sat., Dec. 22, at 3pm. At BMCC Tribeca PAC (199 Chambers St, on the BMCC campus). Admission is free, but seating is limited. Ticket distribution, on the day of the show, begins at noon. For more info, call 212-220-1460.

Advertisers from our print edition

Comments are often moderated.

We appreciate your comments and ask that you keep to the subject at hand, refrain from use of profanity and maintain a respectful tone to both the subject at hand and other readers who also post here. We reserve the right to delete your comment.