I received a Hallmark card in the mail this week. It was in a plain blue envelope with no return address. Hmmmm. I opened it up to see this:

Inside, the card read: "Sometimes you just know when it's over." Below that was a paragraph droning on about how awesome AT&T's U-verse service is.

Uh, AT&T? I don't think you really do know when it's over. I mean, we broke up years ago. I repeatedly told your customer service rep, "It's not me, it's you." Your poor customer service, shady billing practices (I believe the term is "slamming"), and your unwillingness to meet me halfway when you changed my long distance plan without telling me all became too much.

For awhile, there was a little strangeness if we saw each other around town, but eventually I thought we both got over it. Now, you're sending me a card trying to get me to dump my current telecommunications provider. What's next? Will you start calling at 1 in the morning and hanging up? Will you drive down my cul-de-sac, hoping to see me in the front yard, and make up some lame excuse about "just driving by"?