Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Depression-“A condition of general emotional dejection and withdrawal; sadness greater and more prolonged than that warranted by any objective reason.” As provided by www.dictionary.com.

Breaking down the definition a clearer meaning would be “A condition of general emotional dejection and withdrawal;” which means a state of unhappiness that affects you overall or in every respect that leads you to feel apprehensive towards or isolated from others; “sadness greater and more prolonged that that warranted by any objective reason” which means the overwhelming feeling of unhappiness lasts longer because the cause of the unhappiness is personal.

Before I get into this topic I would like to state I do not have a degree or training in psychology or psychiatry. Hence, I will humbly be the first to admit I do not have knowledge or expertise in the area of depression as it relates to both fields. However, what I do have is many years of experience in informal counseling and providing advice on personal issues whenever asked by friends, family and at times strangers. Through observing common trends and patterns from these experiences, it has led me to deduce and formulate a theory as to why people experience depression.

There are two types or two causes of depression that I have observed which I call ‘Causation Depression’ and ‘Situational Depression’. In essence people become depressed either because of an incident that occurred that led them to become depressed or because of their current position in life that is unsatisfactory. Causation Depression happens when something tragic happens in our lives. That tragedy could be loss of a loved one, failure to achieve a particular goal attempted, or anything directly linking what happened to us becoming depressed; something happens, we become depressed, cause and effect. This form of depression is more recognizable, measurable and pertaining to something in particular that has gone wrong in our lives. However, Situational Depression is a lot more generic, random and at times the cause may not be measurable or easily identified. It occurs when our condition or our life is at a state or position that we are dissatisfied with. Taken over by overwhelming unhappiness, we feel as if of our lives and ourselves have no worth, value or sense of fulfillment. At times we may not be immediately aware of the “why”, so it is difficult to identify the solution. This in turn causes low self esteem and self confidence, which ultimately leads to depression.

Both can be interrelated depending on the situation you are faced with. However, both incline different methods and approaches in dealing with. With Causation Depression, depending on the severity, the only way to get over it is by letting time take its course. Talking about what depresses you, or merely venting about anything related or unrelated is one of the best therapies there is. So forget about pills or any quick fixes you think will help fill the void or replace the unhappiness because they won’t. As I said all it needs is time to heal, and nothing can replace that because time cannot be forced. Since this form of depression is a lot more intense and emotional than the Situational, it would be best to surround yourself with people of positivity who can help to uplift and bring joy. Also, doing activities that brings happiness, which helps to get through, not get over, the depressing period. Situational Depression, though more generic, is a lot easier to rid ourselves of. As mentioned it occurs because there is a feeling of lacking value or worth. That value and worth can be found by doing that which brings fulfillment. Focusing on areas that you are interested in or passionate about, and by doing this, one will excel and achieve greatly. With this self confidence and esteem will be boosted, and a feel of worth and purpose will now be established. If we are in a position (career, job, relationship etc.) where we have no interest or dislike altogether we will not put out our greatest effort and only mediocrity will result; mediocrity leads to loss of self worth. Do what brings fulfillment to you that you are good at and immediately you will realize a change for the better in how you feel about your life and your worth. Also, you will slowly but surely realize progression in your life and have a sense that your life is actually heading into a direction you can be proud of and happy with.

It is said that depression is at times caused by biological occurrences. That it can be affected by an imbalance in chemicals in our brain or hormonal levels. In my opinion, though this may be true, it still leads back to the fact of being in a particular mental state, and as I have always said: if one is able to control their mindset and increase mental strength, then you will be able to control your emotional state. Most of what happens to our bodies is greatly affected by what goes on in our minds, going back to the simple yet effective saying “Mind over Matter”. Pointing back to the fact that the mind is so powerful that it can control what our bodies do or feel, whether on a conscious or unconscious level.

Know that depression is merely an emotion controlled by our state of mind, and because of this if we focus on and do that which is positive and uplifts us we can rid ourselves of it in time; taking back control of our mindset and our lives.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Fear- “a distressing emotion aroused by impending (coming) danger, whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.”Definition as provided by www.dictionary.com

So if we break down the definition firstly we see the word ‘distress’ which means anxiety or an uncomfortable disturbance in our emotional and mental state.‘Impending’ means the danger hasn’t even come or manifested yet.“Whether the threat is real or imagined”, which means it may not even exist, just a state of the mind fabricating a non-existing threat…unreal.“The feeling or condition of being afraid”, which means the feeling which is controlled by our state of mind; hence, we are afraid because our mind says we are afraid and not that there is anything to be afraid of.

I’m pretty sure I could stop here and you could easily deduce where I’m about to go with this.Just for the fun of it I’m going to talk about it anyway.Why are we afraid, controlled by fear?Is it because there is really anything to be afraid of? Nope.Is fear a state of mind or feeling that we can’t control? Nope.The truth is fear exists because we allow it to exist, fear holds power and control over us because we allow it have power and control over us. In reality fear has no power other than the power we give to it, because fear is a state of mind, and states of the mind (emotional states) can be control by the individual who controls the mind.

Most people are afraid to face their fears because they are afraid the result confronting that fear will yield.Do you have a fear of failure, fear to realize the truth, fear to take that business or personal (relationship) risk, fear of letting go, fear of admitting that you are wrong (pride)?Many believe that facing their fears is too scary to come to grips with or that it will upset the balance of their “comfortable and predictable” lives.They are accustomed to a particular pattern and anything other than that which they are accustomed will be seen as next to death.It is as if confronting the fear is signing your death wish.If you fear failure then you can never succeed; if you fear the truth then you will lead a life oppressed by lies…mislead; if you fear risks then you will never find the rewards life offers: if you fear letting go then how will find that which is more fulfilling than what you had before; if you fear admitting to the wrong then how will you know the gratification of when you’re truly right.

Fear is usually the negative influence that hinders us from growing into a better person or leading a more fulfilled life, reaping greater rewards life has to offer us.Fear exists only in the mind and nowhere else, which means you can have control over it.It prevents us from greater experiences, learning greater things, becoming a greater person, releasing inner hurt and pain, leading a life of greater value and appreciation.The common mistakes are thinking by suppressing the fear, pushing it from our conscious to sub-conscious it will go away, but it never will.Thinking if we leave it long enough it will solve itself, but it never does.Why then is it you are still plagued by that which you fear? It never goes away, only remains waiting for the opportunity to haunt you once again, laughing at your misfortune.If you think dealing with fear other than confronting it will solve the problem you are fooling yourself.

One has to learn to attack their fear, otherwise we will never truly be rid of it.Attacking your fear differs from confronting them. Confronting your fear is simply identifying, and recognizing them as a hindrance, facing them and taking passive steps to deal with them.However, sometimes that’s not enough, sometimes it’s difficult to truly face that which terrifies you, sometimes you have to literally wage war against fear.So what you have to do is attack it.Go at it with a swinging axe and sword before it has the chance to attack you first.You have to be militant, beat it down, rip it apart, show it that you’re not afraid and that it should be afraid of you, afraid to even come near you ever again.When you realize that you are fearful of something that should become your driving force and motivation to attack.You have to make up your mind that you don’t want fear to keep you from success, or happiness, or fulfillment, or peace of mind, which let me tell you is the one of, if not the most, beautiful gifts anyone can have in this life.

Know the first step is always the hardest and most painful.However, once you have made that first step you will be released and the healing or prosperity will slowly start to take root so that your life can grow into a greater beauty than you could ever imagine possible.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Many believe that greatness, becoming great or accomplishing great things is only limited to a special few and select.That somehow God chose these people specifically to become great, and greatness is achieved by few and unattainable by most.

To be honest I believe that isn’t true.I believe greatness exists in all of us, I believe we can all be considered great in one way or another.I believe our greatness is lying dormant within us at this very moment, waiting for us to release it inward out.Your greatness is waiting for you to accept it, so it is time you accepted that we are all men and women of greatness.

If you consider yourself less than you are you will be seen and treated as such.This is a concept many people do not realize.If you stand tall on your pedestal then no one can reach you to pull you down to their level, think of yourself as such and you will raise yourself to a level of greatness.However, if you think you are beneath greatness, beneath your worth and beneath others then they will see you as being below them and will stomp you beneath their feet.

If you accept that your life and your value is one of mediocrity it will manifest as such, as I mentioned before there is great power in thought, for what you think so it shall become.If you think you are beautifully great, your grace and beauty will show to its highest degree. If you believe you are creatively great then you will excel with immense creativity in anything you strive to accomplish or achieve.

Many people fail to see or understand that they are indeed extraordinarily great simply because they lack self realization.Self realization, in a basic sense, is knowing who you are, what you are worth and what you can accomplish, discovering yourself.Self realization is one of the most fulfilling experiences life could ever possibly offer.When one enters this process and sees it through to the end, it is as if you feel the power to control the world and bend the very universe you exist in to your will.With self realization you now understand that you have limitless power, and you are worth far more than you could ever fathom or imagine. It’s having a God-like complex without the supernatural capabilities and powers of God.No amount of words written here can describe this feeling, one has to experience this wonder for themselves.Then with self realization comes self actualization: you now showing, sharing and displaying this greatness you have now found to the world to your highest capability, creativity, and potential.

Know, and get this deeply rooted in your head: There is no standard or definition for greatness.Greatness doesn’t mean becoming the first Black President of the United States of America like Obama; greatness doesn’t mean being renowned worldwide for producing some of the greatness music the world has ever known like Bob Markey; greatness doesn’t mean being able to run 9.58 seconds and being declared the fastest man alive like Usain Bolt; greatness doesn’t mean being recognized as one of the greatest scientific minds the world has ever known like Albert Einstein; greatness doesn’t mean beginning and leading the revolution that became the change for the rights of Black people like Marcus Garvey or Malcolm X; greatness doesn’t mean…well, you get the point.Greatness simply means being damn good at what you do, and doing it in your own way and to your utmost capability.These people are great because they have a passion for what they do and as a result they do it astonishingly well.These people are great because they do not allow society to dictate or define who they are and what they can accomplish.Find out what you are good at and excel at it, this will be your greatness. Own it, celebrate in it, and let the world know of it, and no one can take that away, I promise you this.

This, my fellow men and women is the reason greatness exists in all of us, because we are all great in our own way, it’s just a matter of us now letting the world know of it.

Do no accept or lower yourself to mediocrity, for anything that is below your worth is mediocrity (even if it considered great by others), practice your greatness, and even try to become greater than you already are.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

I felt the need to write this article based on one I recently read. The overall idea the writer has is that happiness is an illusion that doesn’t really exist. It is something that has been thrown to us to keep us from realizing the elusive fact that life is miserable and thinking positively or trying to obtain happiness as a result of positive thinking is unreal.

She starts out with the question, “Is this endless pursuit of happiness just making us all miserable?” One of the comments thereafter started “This is the stupidest article I have read in a very long time”, and that was one of the nicer comments.

My article is for those who may see things the same; so let me take the time to clear this misconception caused by YOUR delusion.

Firstly, get it out your head that happiness can be pursued. This seems to be the basis that many people use, thinking that they can obtain happiness this way, a common mistake I’m beginning to realize many people make. Also get this in your head: happiness is not metaphysical (supernatural), it is not tangible (something that can be physical held or touched), it is not the embodiment of something or someone, nor a divine work of God that only the select few can obtain or experience. Happiness is not outward, but comes from within. Therefore, why do people think they can pursue something that does not exist in a physical form? More so something that they already have…how do you pursue something that is already yours?

Happiness is a state of mind, a feeling, an emotion. Happiness is something that exists in all of us; we only have to take the time to notice that it is there. People who are happy are that way because they understand that you and you alone can make yourself happy, and it doesn’t come about from possessions, friends, family, intimate relationships, or wealth. This is a common, so very common, misunderstanding people have. I have realized that the reason for this is most people observe those who are happy or seem to be that way. This means all they see is what is on the outside, and what is depicted on the outside is money, fame, success, possessions, or a pretty happy relationship with someone the other person loves. They in turn interpret this to mean that these are the things that make these people happy, hence where the pursuit comes into play, trying to obtain what the “happy people” already have in order to be happy.

NO! “Happy People” are happy because they do what makes them happy and what makes “happy people” happy won’t necessarily make you happy, so stop trying to obtain what “happy people” have. Did you follow that? If you didn’t let me take the time to break down how one can truly experience happiness. Now keep in mind, happiness is a state of mind, not physical, and cannot be pursued. In order to be happy find out what makes you happy; not having something or having someone, but doing something in your life you enjoy that brings fulfillment, adds value and purpose to your life. Something that every time you are doing it, pursuing it, maybe a goal, it brings about a breath of fresh air, peace of mind and a smile to your face. Once you have identified it, now you use the power of positive thinking to pursue it, (see how positive thinking works in previous article “A Positive Mind Equals a Positive Life”). Then once you have succeeded at what you are pursuing this is where happiness manifests itself. So, in a sense happiness is a manifestation or byproduct of doing something you enjoy and brings fulfillment, and that is how it is truly obtained.

So let’s recap to clear any unwanted uncertainties: happiness cannot be pursued, happiness is not physical or metaphysical, and happiness cannot be brought about by obtaining possessions (having something or being with someone you believe will make you happy). Happiness does exist, happiness can only be brought about by Y-O-U, and happiness already exists within you so there’s no need to go out searching hopelessly for it. Find something that adds value, purpose and fulfillment to your life, pursue that, and happiness will reveal itself to you.

Learn how to have nothing at all in this world and still be happy. For once you have mastered this art you will find that you don’t need anything or anyone to be happy, all you need is you.