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When you have the opportunity to network, do you handle it well,
or is it a big, fat fail?

While online networking has dominated in many ways over the past
10-plus years, in-person networking -- conferences, conventions,
workshops, trade shows, etc. -- is still a great way to meet and
mingle with peers, potential partners and mentors. If you’re new
to the networking scene and want to stay at the top of your game,
avoid these five mistakes that will make others cringe.

Being overly aggressive. If you walk into an
event with the mannerisms of a used car salesman, you will
immediately turn off everyone around you. Yes, you want to end up
known at the end of the day, but not for being arrogant and
annoying.

To avoid this image, ask questions about what other people do
rather than making statements about your own business. Take the
time to listen to the answers instead of waiting for your turn to
talk. With this approach, you will be perceived as interesting
and worth talking to by others. And don’t worry, they’ll get
around to asking about you soon enough.

Focusing only on the big cheeses. Of course,
there are people that everyone in the room wants to talk to --
the speaker at an event, the investor with deep pockets, the
extremely successful entrepreneur. But there are likely others
worth talking with as well, so don’t follow the herd and rush to
the big names in the room.

Instead, circulate and discover people who are interesting, have
useful information and are fun. Eventually you will probably get
a chance to talk with a big cheese or two, and you never know,
that quiet guy in the corner may be a hidden gem.

Trying too hard to impress. Do you feel like
small potatoes in the crowd? Many people overcompensate by
presenting themselves as more important than they really are.
It’s tempting to boost your resume and brag on potential future
successes, but chances are people will find out the truth
eventually, making you look like an untrustworthy and foolish
person.

This may cost you the chance to gain mentors or other benefits.
Bottom line: be yourself. You’ll gain more respect and make more
real connections.

Staying quiet. It can be overwhelming to be
surrounded by other entrepreneurs, some of whom are perhaps
farther along than you are. Don’t let that fact keep you from
stepping up and talking to people.

If you’ve never attended an event like this before, start slowly.
Walk up to someone who’s also standing alone, and make an
innocuous comment such as, “quite a crowd here tonight,” or “is
this your first time here?” It doesn’t matter what you say. The
goal is to start a conversation.

Within a few seconds you’ll know whether the person you
approached is interested in talking or not. If not, say some
casual wrapup remark and move on. Chances are that there are
others in the room who don’t know how to network, and who would
appreciate your approach.

A word of caution though: while I mentioned not only going after
the big names in the room, it’s also a big mistake to only stick
with the wallflowers. You need to muster the courage to get in on
other conversations, or you won’t maximize the benefits of
networking.

Not being prepared. So far, we haven’t discussed
the actual purpose of networking, which is ultimately about
helping your business grow. Eventually, someone will ask you what
you do or what your business is about. This is your chance to
shine. Practice your elevator pitch, have business cards at the
ready and be prepared to answer any questions that might come up.

You can show your enthusiasm and go into more detail if the
response from your conversation partner is positive. Be sure to
reciprocate and ask about their business. The best kind of
networking is a true exchange by two or more people who can
benefit from sharing information, ideas and resources.

As you engage in more networking activities, your comfort will
build and the appropriate behavior will become natural and easy.
Then you can gain the best benefit of networking opportunities:
the chance to talk to other people who are smart, interesting and
excited about the companies they are creating.