The Master Sex Swing Guide - Buyer's Tips and Product Reviews

No worries, we'll get you set straight. In this article, we’ll go over all the necessary information to make an informed, kinky purchase - from categories and styles to materials and warnings.

NOTE: If you would like to skip straight to the product reviews, click here.

WHAT’S A SEX SWING?

It's a device that allows one person be suspended during sex. It can be something you would imagine on a playground to complicated assemblies with all sort of straps and loops.

Swings make things spicier, more fluid to maneuver, or try positions that normally would burn your muscles after 1 minute or send you to the hospital with a thrown-out back.

They can also help people who have disabilities, joint problems, muscle issues, or arthritis still have an active sex life.

WHAT SUPPORTS THE BODY?

HAMMOCKS– They are flexible, curve the body in a natural way, and are the most comfortable.

PLATFORMS – They are a variant of the hammock - rigid and leave the back straight. They can be hard or soft depending on padding.

STRAPS AND STIRRUPS– Some have loops for the legs/arms and straps to support the back (but usually not the neck)

Make sure there are enough straps and things to support your body comfortably

FOUR KINDS OF SWINGS

TRADITIONAL SWINGS have a hammock or platform suspended from three/four point stand.

DOOR SWINGSare straps and loops with two bars that are secured by a closed door. They are the cheapest, fastest to put up, and easiest to travel with but they sacrifice some flexibility.

Platform swing (red) Door swing (black)

BODY SWINGS are a harness that fits around one partner, with straps, loops, and/or stirrups for the second partner. They hole similar pros and cons to a door swing, BUT the “holding” partner also needs a degree of strength and stamina.

FANTASY SWINGSare suspended from a single hook and attached to a ceiling or a swing stand. They can have hammock or loop supports.

WHAT ARE THEY MADE FROM?

Given the complicated nature of most designs, you'll find multiple materials are used to make sex swings. Usually leather, nylon, wood, metal, polyester, foam and other soft material for padding (like neoprene) etc.

Whatever you end up getting, keep in mind how easy/difficult it will be to clean and how porous the material is (99% of it will be porous to some degree - unless it was pure stainless steel, which wouldn't be comfortable).

STANDS SOLD SEPARATELY

Yep. If your swing needs to be attached to something other than a door, ceiling, or person, you’re going to have to buy a stand AND the swing.

Some sellers offer a discount if you buy both, but it won’t be much.

Swings will start around $100 and go up from there, while stands begin around $200.

If you know someone who’s handy with wood or metal (and you don’t plan on taking the thing down anytime soon), pay them a bit of cash to make you a sturdy one.

WEIGHT RESTRICTIONS

Most of them should handle a fair amount of weight – some up to 300lbs (136kg) or more.

Just remember to read the product details.

THINGS TO WATCH OUT FOR

Comfort – Look out for places that could pinch you or swings that bend your back too much (and make it look like you’re giving birth … unless, of course, you like the position – the go for it).

Greedy Sellers – As you’ll see in a couple of my reviews, there are a few places that overprice their products by A LOT. That’s not to say you should go stupid cheap with swings (you get what you pay for, of course) but it’s wise to shop around. You could save a few hundred bucks.

For example:

This same stand sells like this…

$ 187 on Jet

$ 189 on Amazon

$ 250 on Pink Cherry

$ 305 on Intimate Whispers

$ 500 on Adult Toy Mega Store

And these are nearly all with “sales”.

SEX SWING REVIEWS

PURPLE REINS SEX SWING ($150)

They don’t dick around on the weight limit – 140kg! There isn’t anything this bad boy won’t hold.

HOWEVER.

Despite the padded hammock being advertised as soft (which I’m sure it is), I foresee this to be a bitch to clean. Padded arm and leg loops will stay cleaner longer, but the parts that rest against sweaty bits will need a good soaking and possibly disinfecting – unless you want it to smell like a gym bag.

Also, it’s apparently “best suited to homes with high ceilings and strong rafters”.

So, that rules out several homes, I’m betting. Bonus points for the clever Prince reference though.

This model I actually have – a gift from a friend (who apparently knows me far too well). They held up fine, and the adjustability of the straps is great … but the leg loop kept slipping down to my knees. And then it was trying to keep myself up with the arm parts.

Adjusting things mid-fuck is awkward as hell in this swing.

What I had to do was get the loops damn near my hips and pits for things to stay still. Then there could be no “pulling me out from the door by my hips” move or I would just fall out again.

Jesus the prices are ALL OVER THE PLACE with this thing. I saw one selling for 90 while another one sold the exact same product for 900!

Don’t let the fancy term of “Latigo” leather fool you into thinking it’s something special. For those who don’t know it’s just a name for cowhide that’s treated in a certain way that makes it stiffer. This adds to the durability.

Other than the price, there are several other things wrong with this swing.

First, the edges aren’t softened, so the loops are going to cut into your legs. Also, another review commented that the edge of the swing (where your butt would be) digs into your thigh. She also felt like she was in labor.

Pros, there are two straps that have wider support and the handles are padded. They say it will tone and strengthen muscles – I’m curious if anyone has actually found this to be true.

The cons? People complain about there not being enough “back support” and that another strap should be added (plus the current back strap be made bigger because it tends to dig into even petite frames. One even complained that a spring stretched loose on the first use – and she’s not a heavy woman.

I know what these are, and I understand the design – but it still makes me think of a baby carrier for an adult.

A really STRONG adult.

Mostly because they only thing holding up the “carried” partner is the “chest hand grips” and their own upper body strength - that’s assuming their one wearing the harness is being a dick and not helping – and if they are, I can see their arms and back getting tired.

NO ONE can hold that for long without their shoulders getting sore … or dislocated.

Either way, it’s not the effortless version of standing-up-sex.

Personally, I think sex harnesses should be their own category apart from sex swings.

Comments (1)

Jeffsays:

Hi
at the top of the article under Types of Slings, you show an illustration of what is referred to as a platform swing.
I wonder if you know where that product could be purchased or what it could be called?