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Saturday, April 19, 2008

Some of my confessions...

I confess:

-- that when I was taking a bath with Nora last night I cried because of how beautiful she is!

-- that now that I am no longer a military wife, I am tired of seeing women who WANT their husbands to go to war because they are afraid of the transition to civilian life and would rather take a chance of him dying then trust that he can provide for them.

-- that Braden makes me so mad when he wakes up at 7 am.

-- that if Rachel showed up on my door step today I'd be more happy than anything else!

-- that I realized yesterday that Daniel & I are not the same people we each fell in love with, yet I love him more than ever! How crazy?

-- that my heart is breaking for my mom and I just want to mend her spirit.

-- that I enjoy watching Jake laugh like a little boy instead of acting like he's 23 already.

-- that although I really am mortified about getting in a swimsuit, I am pretty proud over all of how I look after 2 babies!

-- that when I speak the things of God, it is because I live it as well. It is not a show. I really do trust him this much!!!

-- that even though Krystal is doing God's will by not coming home this summer, I'm a little sad. I miss her badly every day.

-- that I cannot wait to get a little sunburned after a long day outside because it will officially mean it's summer.

-- that I didn't feel the earthquake (and I'm like the only one.)

-- that I wish that people who are chasing after something to fill their empty hearts would just turn to God. Not religion, not the law, not a church--but to Jesus himself. He is the way, the truth and the light!

-- that I am disappointed and sick over a situation that is controlling our entire family right now.

-- that I love to make a budget and stick to it. It's challenging and yet makes me so proud!

-- that I want to help with the finances somehow, but I will never leave the kids to do it unless I absolutely HAD to...and thank the Lord, I don't!

-- that I watched one of my good friend's bring a beautiful baby girl into the world yesterday and it was overwhelming and awesome.

-- that I have the closest thing to a perfect life and I am beyond thankful for that!

-- that I no longer like taking pictures. Getting paid for something that you love somehow steals the joy out of it.

-- that I can still do a back flip on the trampoline (only now my back hurts from doing it)

--that I will cook dinner at home every night until the next pay day because I didn't budget to eat out! haha.

-- that I cant wait for Nora to wake up right now so I can just squeeze her and hear her say "ma ma."

-- that I love my mom more than life and I have never been more proud of her.

-- that I dint read my Bible as often as I need to, and I really want to work on it.

-- that I think it's hilarious when someone is the head of an Internet forum and thinks they have all the power in the world--enough so to be one person on one day and magically become someone completely opposite the next. haha. the power of the Internet!

-- that I have never felt more free, more alive, and more at peace!

-- that although I say I don't want more kids after Braden, I'm lying. I still do (but don't tell Daniel just yet...haha)

-- that I will never inject my child with a foreign substance (aka a shot) because I trust that God will keep them healthy and I dint believe their bodies deserve to be put into a state of shock when it is unnecessary.

-- that if they decide to get tattoos when they're older, that is then their choice, but for now--I'm sticking to it!

-- that I love the idea of homeschooling these kids more than anything...

-- that I sometimes scream and laugh louder than I should, but have learned to love it.

-- that the Lord is God and will reign forever and I love love love Him and all He is in my life!!!

Psalm 86:12..." I will confess and praise You, O Lord my God, with my whole (united) heart; and I will glorify Your name forevermore. "