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Sunday, May 29, 2016

I’ve been leading worship for some time now and of all the
different aspects of playing and leading a song, tempo and rhythm can be one of
the more difficult pieces for me.

Every worship leader has had those times where you’re either
struggling to speed the band up or keep them from running away with a song. It’s
frustrating and even if everything else is right, if the tempo and rhythm are
off, it. Is. Off.

Rhythm is a major theme in my life, and I would argue all
lives. Rhythm is in our design and it’s not just for musicians. Yes, friends
who can’t clap along with songs, even you, were built with a rhythm.The rhythm got set at the creation of the world. The Creation story in Genesis
is a Hebrew poem. Even the story of God making everything carries a cadence. On
the ____ day, God made _____ and it was good. Until day six, when the cadence is
similar but hits a climax when people are made and get a “very good.” Then
something remarkable happens.

There’s a break in the rhythm. The Trinity rests. God of all
time and space who doesn’t need rest, does, to enjoy what They have made and to
model the rhythm of rest They designed in us.

Have you ever thought of it that
way? Even before the fall, God decided he should model rest and enjoyment
because, even then, it would be easy to continue working. He was showing us how
it was done and teaching us the value of enjoyment and the importance of rest.

In Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus is
making a point about pace and rhythm.

Perhaps you’ve heard the verse, “Come
to me all you who are weary and heavy-laden and I will give you rest. … My yoke
is easy and my burden is light.”

I appreciate the paraphrase of “The
Message” with this passage.

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned
out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life.
I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how
I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or
ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and
lightly.”

Jesus is using livestock imagery
here. When a farmer would get a new work animal like an ox or donkey, he would
pair the new, inexperienced animal with a more experienced one. Together, they
would share a yoke, pulling the plow together and the older would teach the
newer. Without the older animal, the young one would go too fast and burn out
quickly, or they might get distracted and never get going. The experienced
animal set a good pace and taught the younger a healthy rhythm that made the
yoke easy and manageable.

This is what Jesus is talking
about in this passage. We don’t have to carry heavy yokes, sprinting or
struggling through life. He invites us into an unforced rhythm of grace; a
steady, healthy cadence. (I’d recommend Judah Smith’s teaching on this, by the
way.)

***

In recent months, I have
discovered how very exhausted I am, frustrated at my inability to keep what I
was failing to see as an incredibly high pace paired with even higher
expectations.

I was leading a women’s retreat,
out for a walk through some camp trails, talking to God. I told him how
frustrating it was that I was trying to speak, teach, create worship
experiences, walk alongside students, and it felt like I had nothing to give.
It was like trying to squeeze water from a rock. And frankly, it made me really
mad.

“God, you’ve given me all this to
do for your Kingdom. Can ya help a sister out?!”

I got home that evening, thirsty
from the day’s traveling. I open the fridge to find the Brita pitcher empty. As
I filled it up in the sink and stood there waiting for it to filter down, anger
welled up in me.

“This takes FOREVER. I don’t have
TIME for this stupid pitcher. I’m thirsty and just WANT A DRINK OF WATER.”

Truth hit my heart like a 2x4.“Yeah, it does take time to refill. You’re more empty than normal, so it takes
even longer. But if you don’t wait and allow me time to fill you up, you’ll
have nothing to pour out. Or you’ll try to rush before you’re filled and make a
huge mess. Just. Be. Still. I’ll fill you up.”

In that moment, I realized how
many lies I had been believing about my life, who I am, and who God is.

-That He’s asked me to keep this pace.

-That He’s expecting me to figure it all out on my own and I better not
screw it up.

-That spending time with Him and in His Word was just another thing He
wanted from me, instead of healing, watering, and provision for me; time spent with my Good Father.

-That I couldn’t stop my high speed living because if I did, my worth would
decrease and I wouldn’t be wanted anymore.

-That my wounds and aches and exhaustion were just my cross to bear, so
I better suck it up.

It became very clear that my rhythm needed a reset. I needed some spiritual shock
paddles to jolt me back into the rhythm God had written in me.

So often, I see myself and others
being victims of our own chaos. We all too easily accept that this
is “just the way life is.” Well, it doesn’t have to be.

3DM’s Learning Circle has been a
gift to me this past year. It’s an invitation to process what God is saying and
it how might change our trajectory into further Gospel freedom and ministry.
The circle gave me new eyes to see God’s invitation for me to rest and be
filled up, to be intentional about living a healthy rhythm instead of just
accepting an unhealthy pace.

In this process, I’ve realized I’ve
walked through a lot of big things in the last few years, life transitions, some
major ministry challenges, grief, and high life demands, without any real down
time to breathe, process, heal, even figure out what’s hurt and what the next
new step is. I have been in constant motion for so long trying to stay on top
of work life, family and friend commitments, and still do some things that
energize and fill me.

So for the past few weeks and the
next few, the pace looks different. I’m taking more time and space to rest even
more than normal, to actually both survey the damage and celebrate the journey
been on, to schedule some doctors’ appointments and write some music. The learning circle has given me the gift of space to listen, reflect, and make a new better choice.

To zoom out and look at my
calendar going forward, being intentional about what a healthy weekly and
monthly rhythm look like, so I can make informed decisions that don’t empty my
pitcher without adequate time to refill it. I desire to live in an unforced
rhythm of grace, where my pitcher is regularly refilled and never scraping the
bottom to fill someone else’s cup.It’s time to listen to the rhythm and tempo God
has set and follow his lead in keeping the song together.

A note from Shelly...

Doesn't it seem like we're always waiting for or looking forward to something? "I can't wait until..." or "when this happens, everything will be great." I've spent the last few years learning that life doesn't wait for a wedding, a career, or anything else to begin. Waiting for anything can be difficult, but God's purposes for you have already begun. Your future spouse, graduation, or the job of your dreams might be just around the corner, but there is much to see, much to do, and much to learn IN THE MEANTIME. You're rarely alone sitting in a waiting room. Welcome.