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Schmidt and Nick will be throwing a party to celebrate their ten year anniversary of living together. Naturally it was all Schmidt’s idea to throw a big party for the big day. But it seems like Nick doesn’t have any trouble going through with the party, he even joins in on the fun and shows off his new port-a-potty. But while the pair are celebrating their time together Nick’s night may be ruined by Jess’ determination to find a new guy to romance.

Wiston will introduce his friends to Jax (played by guest star Steve Howey) a professional football player whom he interviews for his job at the radio. Jess is on a mission to meet a new guy and eyes Jax at Nick’s bar when Winston introduces them. Winston is not pleased when Jax and Jess seem to hit it off. He even comes to the Tinfinity party to spend time with Jess and they play a game of catch together.

The roommates are in the living room, discussing an upcoming party Schmidt is planning to celebrate Nick and Schmidt living together for 10 years. Their celebrations carry a theme each year, following along with the traditional wedding anniversary gifts. Flashbacks of Nick and Schmidt are shown of their 1st anniversary: paper (Schmidt jumps out of a box covered by newspaper while Nick is sleeping), and their 5th: wood (Nick is chopping wood with an axe as Schmidt is leaving the scene with a bloodied hand). This year the theme is Tin, and Jess points out the element symbol is Sn = Schmidt & Nick.

Jess is having girl talk with Cece, discussing the kiss she previously shared with Nick (Cooler). She cannot stop thinking about his mouth on her mouth. She calls Nick grumpy mystery, and wishes she knew what he was thinking. He is in the kitchen, eating a cupcake during their discussion, and asks Jess if he has frosting all over his mouth. Instead of answering him, she gets mad and tells him to leave. She decides that the only way to forget about his mouth is to find a new guy to kiss.

She chats up a few guys at the bar, however, pickings are slim. The first guy is a bisexual who does not wash jeans, the second guy is talking about microchips the size of blueberries, and the third guy is squeezing vast amounts of lotion on his arms. She gives up for the time being, until Winston enters the bar with Jax McTavish, a professional football player for the San Francisco 49ers. She asks Winston to introduce her, Nick, Schmidt, and Winston all laugh at her for suggesting it. This prompts her to introduce herself to Jax, despite Winston’s disapproval. They immediately hit it off, leaving Winston as a third wheel, and Nick showing a hint of jealousy. Schmidt brings Nick out of his thoughts by discussing the plans for TinFinity. He gives Nick two responsibilities: balloons and porta potties.

Cece and Shivrang are getting ready to go to the party. Shivrang is on the phone with his mother, who informs him that both moms approve of the arranged marriage between him and Cece. When he lets her know, he nonchalantly asks if she “wants to do this thing.” She doesn’t respond well to the proposal, as even though it is an arranged marriage, she wanted something a little more personal and romantic.

Schmidt is admiring his planning efforts at the TinFinity party. There are photos of Schmidt and Nick everywhere, decorations made out of Tin, and fancy sofas all over the park. A kid kicks his soccer ball, which Schmidt catches. Because he had reserved the entire park and that the kid called him a douche, he pops the soccer ball and throws it away.

Jess and Winston arrive, and Winston confronts Jess about Jax. He does not approve that she invited him, and says that he has the upper hand in bonding with Jax due to his knowledge of sports. Jess reminds him that she is a girl, and that she will use her hair, boobs, legs, and adorable personality to steal him away.

Nick shows Schmidt the old, dirty porta potty that he purchased for $60. He is proud of himself for following through with his responsibility, and claims he is a small business owner. Schmidt is about to get mad but stops himself, and shows him el bano presidente, the backup lavatory he rented knowing Nick would fail.

Winston, Jess, and Jax join in on a touch football game. Jess and Jax get flirtatious during the game, and Winston tries to interfere. He instead repeatedly gets tackled, even when he doesn’t have the football.

Nick gets upset that nobody is using his porta potty, and bullies some of the guests who are waiting in line to use the fancy bathroom. Jess confronts Nick, asking if him being upset isn’t just about his porta potty. He immediately brushes the conversation off, which Jess begins to brag about Jax, and how he isn’t afraid to share his feelings. Nick tells her that isn’t what she wants, though he isn’t confident in his statement. Jess changes the subject back to the porta potty, and says she’ll use it. Nick wants her to really sell it to make it appealing to girls. She loudly states how ‘vintage’ it is, but as she goes in she cries in horror, and changes her mind.

Schmidt is talking to the DJ, giving him explicit instructions for the toast sequence. He threatens the DJ if he messes up, and the DJ storms off. Cece and Shivrang greet Schmidt, which he shows his immediate dislike by informing them he is serving cow meat tacos.

Jess and Jax are tossing the football back and forth. He reveals to her that he likes her, and comes on a little too strong for Jess. Seeing as he is about to cry, he attempts to redeem his man card by grabbing a beer, and leaves. Jess talks to Winston about Jax. Winston informs her that because of his nature as a football player, he is known to be intense.

Nick and Schmidt are getting ready for their toasts, and Schmidt gives him cards with a pre-made speech for Nick to give. The speech has Nick says things like “I’m nothing without you” and Nick confronts Schmidt on his superiority. They have an argument about how they used to consider themselves equals, and then Schmidt got his life together while Nick did not. Nick storms off.

Jess meets up with Jax, who is still emotional from earlier. He admits his intensity, and explains he is emotional because he recently got out of a relationship. Jess relates to him, and the two are about to kiss, but not before they are interrupted by Shivrang making an announcement. The DJ believes this to be the toast sequence for Nick and Schmidt, and starts up the music and lighting. Shivrang publicly proposes to Cece, which she accepts. Schmidt has witnessed the entire scene, and is clearly heartbroken. He walks off. Jax tries to follow after that proposal with a speech of his own. He announces to the crowd how Jess has stolen his heart and that he will marry her. Jess, obviously shocked and not on the same page, runs away and hides.

Nick catches up with Schmidt, who tries to brush off his sadness by commenting on the lighting from the toast sequence. Schmidt reflects on the moment from earlier that even though he appears to have his life together, it didn’t turn out the way he thought it would. Nick can relate to that, and the two walk off away from the party. He shows Schmidt how he followed through with his responsibility in balloons, with a hot air balloon. Nick however, didn’t realize that he needed propane to get the balloon up in the air, so they hang out in the grounded balloon drinking and talking.

Cece finds Jess hiding out in the catering tent, and the two are giddy over the engagement. Cece asks if Jess is still thinking about Nick’s mouth, which makes Jess defensive. She does acknowledge that Jax isn’t ‘the one’ and he is seen crying into Winston’s shoulder over his heartbreak.

Jess and Winston later join Nick and Schmidt in the hot air balloon. She asks Nick for the liquor bottle, which he mentions that his mouth has been all over it. Suddenly she doesn’t want the bottle and runs away.

The last scene is a flashback of Nick and Schmidt drinking and discussing girls. They cheer together yelling “EQUALS!”