"Why is the rum always gone?"
"Hey look!...An undead monkey!"
"I love cows!" (Some guy dressed up as Jack Sparrow and two other people were cows, and the cows wanted a photo. It's not a quote from a movie.)

John Pinette (stand up comedian):

"He wanted me to do ups--sit ups, push ups, curl ups. I said nay nay. Ups defy gravity and gravity is a law. I obey the law!"
"How do you feel?...Good...Ho-how do you feel?.......Gooood....How'd ya-how do you feel?.......I FEEL LIKE GOD IS PUNISHING ME, AND IF I WAS A BETTER PERSON, ANGELS WOULD COME DOWN WITH A CHICKEN POT PIE AND A CUPCAKE, NOW STOP ASKING ME."
"What would you like on your salad?....Häagen-Dazs."

Bill Maher (stand up comedian):

"If anyone brings broccoli in here kill 'em!"
"The bank never says, 'It's about $10,000, if it's a little more, good for you, we don't really care. That's not the kind of people we are, caring about money.'"

You wanna hear something funny? You're dead.
Here's a touching story: Once upon a time you died, and I lived happily ever after. The end.
Thanks for the target practice, you plump-bellied freak show! (to Heavy)
-Sniper

A small handful of my favorites.

_________________

Last edited by Registeel_Rocks on Tue Sep 08, 2009 9:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I don't remember it word for word, but I liked that speech Itachi made the night he wiped out the Uchiha clan. sorry I don't actually remember.

"Foolish Little brother, If you wish to kill me one day, harnes your hatred and despise me, survie in such an unslightly manner as this. By all means flee and cling to your reatched Life" : Itachi Uchiha

My qoutes are:

"come" from metaknight
"SHARINGAN " From Sasuke, Kakashi, Itachi
"Chidori ONE THOUSAND BIRDS " From Sasuke Uchiha
"BANKI" From Ichigo
"GETSUGA TENSHO" From Ichigo
"GET DOWN ON ALL FOUR WORTHLESS ONES" From

"Savior? You steal men's souls"
"Can't the same be said of all religions"
"Mankind ill needs a savior like you"
"What is a man? But a miserable pile of secrets, but enough talk HAVE AT YOU!" From Castlevania I do believe.

"I don't cause commotions. I am one." Elphaba Thropp from Wicked.

"So this is how liberty dies. With thunderous applause." Padme Amadala Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith.

_________________73% of teenagers would cry if they saw Justin Bieber standing on top of a skyscraper about to jump. If you are the 27% sitting there with popcorn and 3D glasses, screaming "DO A BACKFLIP!", copy and paste this as your signature

(singing) "I'm gonna make love to yo' ****** tonight children!"-Chef from South Park

WWE Monday Night Raw
Jack Swagger-"I'm an all American-American!"
John Cena- "Noo, your an all American jackass."

South Park-
Butters-"I don't play World of Warcraft"
Cartman-"Butters, you said your on your computer all day."
Butters-"Yeah, but I'm playing Hello Kitty Island Adventure."
Cartman-"*sighs* Butters, go buy World of Warcraft, install it on your computer and join the online sensation before we all murder you!"
Butters-"Oh jeez! Oh, all right."

"And I am reminded, on this holy day, of the sad story of Kitty Genovese. As you all may remember, a long time ago, almost thirty years ago, this poor soul cried out for help time and time again, but no person answered her calls. Though many saw, no one so much as called the police. They all just watched as Kitty was being stabbed to death in broad daylight. They watched as her assailant walked away. Now, we must all fear evil men. But there is another kind of evil which we must fear most, and that is the indifference of good men."

- The Monsignor, Boondock Saints

A Joke they told in Boondock Saints: VERY Censored. Everything in strikes is a watered down version of what they really said.

Rocco: Yeah, n-n- Yeah. And-and they walk along the beach, they see this pot, they rub it, genie comes out. Genie says, you
know, "You wish for anything you want." So, he asks, uh-uh, Mexican what-what he wants, and he goes, uh, uh, "I want, uh, all my people in America to be happy and free and in Mexico." And so, genie - Poof! And, all the mexican peopleare in Mexico. And then he asks the black guy...

Vincenzo Lipazzi: Negro.

Rocco: Yeah, that's what I said. Goes to the, uh- uh, negro, says, uh, "What do you want?" And he goes, um, uh, "I want all my African- my [s]negro[/s] brothers in America to be back in Africa and-and happy and everything." You know? So, genie goes poof! And, um, all the negros in America are in Africa. And, uh, uh, uh, this is go- I'm not funny today. I-I know. I'm havin' a hard day. I-I-I- This joke sucks. It's-it's-it's a stupid joke.

Yakavetta: Continue the joke.

Rocco: So the genie says to the white guy, uh, um, "What's your one wish?" And the white guy goes, "You mean to tell me all the negros and mexicans are out of America?" Genie goes, "Yeah." He says, "Well, um, I'll have a Coke, then."

Most of my favorite quotes all seem to stem from the movie Fight Club. I'm sorry but I watch this movie WAAAY too much (Obviously.) I lost count.

"Warning: If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all that claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think every thing you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told to want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned" - Tyler Durden (Fight Club)

"Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy crap we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off." - Tyler Durden (Fight Club)

You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else! We are all part of the same compost heap! You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world! You're not your back-account.. You are not the clothes you wear.. You're not the contents of your wallet. You are not your bowel cancer. You are not your grande latte. You are not the car you drive.. You're not your goddamn khakis!!" - Tyler Durden (Fight Club)

"Without pain, without sacrifice, we would have nothing." - Tyler Durden (Fight Club)

"**** off with your sofa units and string green stripe patterns, I say never be complete, I say stop being perfect, I say let... lets evolve, let the chips fall where they may." - Tyler Durden (Fight Club)

It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything. - Tyler Durden (Fight Club)

In the world I see - you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center. You'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life. You'll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Tower. And when you look down, you'll see tiny figures pounding corn, laying strips of venison on the empty car pool lane of some abandoned superhighway." - Tyler Durden (Fight Club)

"All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I screw like you wanna screw, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not." - Tyler Durden (Fight Club)

Too many quotes to count. @_@

and then there's some from Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Large Man with Dead Body: Who's that then?
The Dead Collector: I dunno, must be a king.
Large Man with Dead Body: Why?
The Dead Collector: He hasn't got crap all over him.

King Arthur: I am your king.
Woman: Well I didn't vote for you.
King Arthur: You don't vote for kings.
Woman: Well how'd you become king then?
[Angelic music plays... ]
King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king.
Dennis: [interrupting] Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

Dennis: Come and see the violence inherent in the system. Help! Help! I'm being repressed!
King Arthur: Bloody peasant!
Dennis: Oh, what a giveaway! Did you hear that? Did you hear that, eh? That's what I'm on about! Did you see him repressing me? You saw him, Didn't you?

That film is one of the best i've seen...
God: Really something, isn't it?
Bruce: Is this heaven?
God: No, this is Mount Everest. You should flip on the Discovery Channel from time to time. But I guess you can't now, being dead and all.
[pause]
Bruce: I'm *dead*?
God: Naw, I'm just messing with ya.
Bruce: That's not funny, Man! That is *not* funny.

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