Dear Ann Landers: My husband's parents visit...

Ann Landers.Dose of tough talk is best medicine for the in-lawsCHICAGO TRIBUNE

Dear Ann Landers: My husband's parents visit us twice a year and stay for 10 days each time. The problem: They are both on medication for high blood pressure and leave their pills all over the house. The last time they visited, my mother-in-law woke up early and lined up her pills on the kitchen table while she made breakfast. I have a 4-year-old child who wakes up before I do. It would be easy for my son to assume the pills are candy and eat several before anyone noticed.

I have asked my in-laws to please not leave their medication lying around, but the message didn't get through. My mother-in-law became upset that I thought she was "deliberately careless." She cried and made my husband feel terribly guilty. I wish they would stay in a motel. It would be a huge relief for me, but my husband won't hear of it.

My in-laws will be coming for another visit soon. What can I do to protect my son without offending them?

-- Need Help in Louisiana

Dear Louisiana: Your son's well-being is more important than your in-laws' feelings. They should know better than to leave medication out where a child can mistake it for candy. Tell the in-laws in strong language that they must never leave their medicine out on the table. If they don't get the message, your husband must make motel reservations for them, period.

Meanwhile, start teaching your son not to put anything in his mouth without asking you first. He's old enough to understand that some things, while visually appealing, can make him sick.

Dear Ann Landers: I'd like to offer a different response to the letter about the elderly woman who dropped off food on her neighbor's doorstep. You said the neighbor should accept the food graciously and donate it to a food bank, and that the woman was mentally ill. You may be right, but I have another explanation. I think the woman is lonely.

When I was in my early 20s, I had a widowed neighbor in her 90s living in the apartment next door. She drove me crazy every day dropping off baked goods and casseroles I knew she couldn't afford. None of the other neighbors spoke to her about her unseemly "generosity."

One day, I asked the woman if she could give me the recipes for the dishes she brought over. We scheduled a time each week for her to visit and give me a "lesson." This not only gave her something to look forward to, it gave me free cooking lessons and many delicious recipes. It was a win-win situation.

-- Friendly in Orlando, Fla.

Dear Friendly: Your approach was much kinder than mine. Thanks for cleaning up after me. Casting your bread upon the waters netted you caviar sandwiches in return. It's always lovely to hear about a kindness that has been reciprocated. Thank you.

Dear Ann Landers: My fiance, "Mary Beth," and I plan to be married within the next few months. There will be a dinner party a week before the wedding, hosted by Mary Beth's two sisters and their husbands. Cocktails will be served.

The problem is, my parents do not approve of alcohol. Would it be OK for me to ask Mary Beth's relatives not to serve alcohol at this dinner party?

-- Upstate New York

Dear Upstate: It would not be OK. Mary Beth's sisters and their husbands are hosting, and it should be their call. When you have a party, you can make it a dry one if you wish. When others are hosting, you don't get a vote.