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18 years together and still going strong. We're each other's carers. Always have been, always will be. Doesn't mean we don't have a great relationship Dr Phil is full of shit. All relationships involve caregiving, or at least the should. Disabled or not there are many times in people's lives when they need care. This does not cheapen or change your relationship. If it does, you're doing it wrong. Society is full of barriers for disabled people. Our relationships are not one of them.

My dream aesthetic 🥰. Also though, this piece is such an accurate representation of what it feels like to go to work elevated. Cannabis allows me to walk in the confidence of my creativity. It can pave the way to success when my

Childhood experiences affect how wherever you feel. ⠀
How much you think you deserve⠀
How you treat yourself⠀
How you treat other people ⠀
But this can change!⠀
You can change… things can improve ⠀
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Wake me up when it’s Friday... 😴😵🤤
This girl can knock out in our arms, SNORING and all, no problem!
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P.S. She does NOT like her hair tied. (I mean, I never wanted to put her hair in a hair tie either...but our vet said, groomer’s AFTER all shots) So much so that if we just SAY the words “Hair Tie”, she will rub her face into whatever is closeby for daaaays thinking we put one on her!! 😂😂😂 It’s the cutest thing.
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"My nightmares are a painful reminder that I am still haunted by my past." *** NEW BLOG POST! Have written a wee personal blog on nightmares, how these can affect me, and what I do to care for myself after experiencing them. Just a girl on a mission to raise awareness! Have a gander if it seems like something you'd be interested in reading: thoughtsfromacomplexmind.home.blog

Repost @listeningactively
The worst part about being abused is how the abuser literally uses you and your life force for their own benefit, and then discards you when they feel you’ve been used up. How could a person actually do that to another?? It makes NO sense to me!
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News flash! We are NOT something you can just throw away! We are incredibly strong, brave, beautiful people who will prove you wrong and will get back up after you’ve tossed us away thinking you’ve destroyed who we once were! 💪🏻💕
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www.youstillhaveworth.com
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Our bodies know. Our bodies remember. Trauma is not something that can be ignored forever. It does not just “go away.” If one generation does not process the traumas they have experienced, future generations will feel the impacts of those traumas within their own bodies and lives.
This quote was taken from an essay on The Physiological Impacts of Trauma which can be found here:
http://gwynnraimondi.com/physiological-impacts-of-trauma/
This essay is the second in a four part series I have written exploring trauma, what it is, how it impacts us, and how we can begin to process it. I hope you find it helpful and informative. This essay series is also to introduce some of the topics we will be exploring in my six month program Trauma Focused Embodiment for Sexual Trauma Survivors. We begin April 15th. You can learn more at http://gwynnraimondi.com/tieforsexualtrauma /../

Repost @_that_ptsd_life_
You are so strong! Don’t you let yourself think for one second that just because you have panic attacks from mental illnesses means you are weak! If anything, you are stronger than everyone else! Keep your head up! Keep moving forward! 💪🏻🙌🏻💖
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www.youstillhaveworth.com
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When a book calls you out on your shit:
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I'm reading Girl, Wash Your Face by @msrachelhollis and the content of ch 18 hit hard. For the first half of it, I counted my lucky stars or my personal insight that I had already recognized my knee jerk response to go for a glass of wine at the end of the day. Knowing that my family has a propensity for Alcoholism, I made the decision to cut it out unless drinking socially. Nowadays I don't drink much at all. How cool was this chapter for me?! .
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Until my personal insight alarm went off and I remembered how I would turn to naps for the same reason.
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Ugh, right? Naps are good things and I soundly believe that we all should get at least one solid nap every afternoon. The problem is when you're napping every time things get stressful. It took forever for me to realize what I was doing with those: that it wasn't just me recuperating from the Conversion Disorder. I was literally sleeping off my personal struggles. Until reading this I just figured that I was getting better with handling my Conversion Disorder. On coming to the end I realized that I was actually learning how to face life and handle stress. Still a win, but gosh, Rachel, did ya have to hit the nail so squarely on the head?!
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Change can feel scary & unsettling. Especially change that leads to major shifts in my life. It makes me want to push against it, resist it, avoid it. So I take these words to heart and allow for the possibility that there might be better things on the other side.

Do you? When you close your eyes and look inward- how do you see your inner world? What do you feel in your body as you journey through your inner world. Are you afraid? Are you tense? ▫️
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If you’re finding yourself with a plethora of emotions coming up for you- I get it. Exploring the various parts of us that we’re proud of and not proud of- can be difficult and we really might want to try to avoid it and run away. Are you a runner? I used to be a runner. Now I’m a knot in my throat, red-face turning, but sit in my stuff kinda gal. It doesn’t happen overnight. It’s all a process- but it starts with you really sitting in your stuff. Journaling about it when you have the chance in the moment, but more importantly just sitting and exploring. Our inner world contains all the puzzle pieces that make us whole...and sometimes we don’t recognize different emotions or parts that come up for us until later on in life. That’s totally okay. I really believe all these parts serve a purpose. Some are hurtful toward others, some self sabotaging and hurtful toward ourselves. It’s important we tap into these parts that are hurtful to understand how they came to be and how we can utilize them in a healthier way. 💜
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Negative core beliefs. We all have them. They are the driving force behind our negative emotions and experiences. They are also untrue and the result of adverse or traumatic experiences that are maladaptively stored in the brain. In

If you haven’t recognized this yet, it should be a lightbulb moment. 💡

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One of my self treatments, I’m an animal lover, as you can see I love talking to them but they don’t love talking to me! 🤣😜🙈☀️❤️ Anyway, When we have mental health problem I know getting out of the bed is like the hardest task you could ever do.. specially when you have

🚨 🚨 SERIOUS POST 🚨 🚨
I FEEL MENTAL ILLNESS & DEPRESSION IS A SERIOUS ISSUE WITHIN THE BLACK COMMUNITY.
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SOME REASONS ARE (it’s been proven & stated that) DR.s BELIEVE BLACK WOMEN THE LEAST WHEN COMPLAINING ABOUT PAIN, MOST BLACK WOMEN BELIEVE ONLY WHITE WOMEN GET PPD, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY BLACK PEOPLE AS A RACE HAS ENDURED SO MUCH “MENTAL” ABUSE!
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WE TRY TO HEAL OURSELVES ALL THE TIME.
WE COVER OR TRY TO GET OVER PAIN, HEARTACHE, & SITUATIONS BY DRINKING THEM AWAY, SMOKING, FUCKING, DOING HARDER DRUGS or JUST SIMPLY TAKING THE “JUST KEEP BUSY” METHOD. .
WHAT YOU FEEL IS REAL!
YOU ARE NOT CRAZY.
NO, EVERYBODY MAY NOT KNOW OR UNDERSTAND YOU, BUT THERE IS A COMMUNITY OF PEOPLE WHO DO!
IF YOU’VE TRIED EVERYTHING ON YOUR OWN PLEASE TRY SOMETHING ELSE... .
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE CHECK ON YOUR “ALWAYS HAPPY” FRIEND, ITS BECAUSE THEY KNOW HOW LONELY, SAD, DEPRESSED, & ALONE FEELS AND THEY DONT WANT ANYONE AROUND THEM TO FEEL THAT SO THEY TRY TO BE THE LIGHT IN OTHERS LIFE...
I KNOW, I WAS THAT FRIEND. ALWAYS ‘FAKE’ HAPPY FOR EVERYONE ELSE WISHING I CAN BE REAL HAPPY WITH MYSELF....
REALLY.... SCROLL THROUGH MY PAGE... TWO TEARS AGO MY SMILE WAS NOT SO BRIGHT. STILL BIG AND PRETTY BUT IT WAS NOT GLOWING. .
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The Cycle of Apology | 💮
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Hands up if you regularly say 'sorry' 🖐 whether I'm running late, spilt a drink or made a mistake; I find myself apologising a LOT. Our uncoordinated moments are not our underserving moments. We are not our mistakes. It's time we stop saying sorry and look forward in a more positive light.
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Replacing 'I'm sorry' with 'Thank you' removes feelings of guilt, and is a healthy was of recognising our responsibilities and building relationships. Today, instead of apologising to a friend for ranting, I thanked them for taking the time to listen to my concerns without judgement. It will take some getting used to, but it's a habit I'm planning to keep! Have you tried it?
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[image description: blue and cream blotted background with the phrase "Replace I'm Sorry with Thank You". The words 'replace' and 'with' are red, the rest are black.]
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Plants
I feel like so often we take them for granted.
Not only do we consume them to live, they help us breathe & clean our air. They feed the ground when they die.
But they also are just plain beautiful & unique.
I deal with a armful of mental health issues and in the winter Seasonal Affective Disorder kicks my butt hardcore. This year for my birthday(March) my partner got me some plants & shelves. Since then my plant family has grown a LOT. I usually go rescue the $1-$3 distressed plants at local stores. Taking care of then has given me daily tasks, successful feelings, and they make me smile as they grow & get healthy. They are beautiful and a little piece of nature i get to enjoy even on cold rainy snowy bad days.
I have a goal to fill my house with as many plants as I can.
Some day I'll have bigger better windows for them all.
Plants are truly amazing. Do you have any plants?

Those who suffer through panic attacks, major anxiety, trauma are some of the strongest people I know. It’s not a matter of “weakness”. People who have been through traumatic situations are not responsible for causing themselves trauma. It’s not their fault. End the stigma so people can heal without shame from the outside world. Healing is not shameful.

I tell stories with my songs, this is storytelling through music. The song here is called, "Dear 33", and it's a self portrait through vocal, rythm, and tone. I have a lot of respect for artists and I feel honored to share a platform here with so many talented human beings. This is my window box and I'm sharing pieces of my world with all of you. I don't feel alone and I feel like I am contributing in my own little way, the best that I can. This song is about leaving an abusive relationship, and learning to walk away from things that hurt me. I've come a long way. This song says it all. Have a good day everyone, thanks for listening👐🏻🌹🗝™

“In love, we are ‘swept off our feet.’ In trauma, our legs are pulled out from under us. Grounding and centering... reconnect us...” - Peter Levine, “Healing Trauma”
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When we’ve experienced trauma, we may find it hard to connect to our physical bodies. At some point in time, it felt safer to not FEEL. Maybe one of the most challenges aspects of this is when we lose those difficult and painful feelings, we also lose the happy and loving ones.
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There are many different ways of reconnecting with our bodies but we must be intentional. Whether through

79/100 ::new story:: My life was never meant to be small and safe—so today I utterly surrender to transformation. Everything I thought I knew about my life has given way so I could grow. Every idea I had about who I am has been turned upside down. In mere years every last thing about my life has changed. It’s not loss, it’s new abundance I don’t yet recognize. Shedding my old story now, making new space for what’s possible. My full moon intention is to align with freedom as my old story dies—I won’t forget, I cherish the ashes for all it has illuminated. Wishing you all the power to dream larger then any limits you perceive. We define our limits and it’s in our power to decide we don’t have any—we are made of the same stuff as this vast universe and we are limitless. 😘❤️🌕🌈

CIT this morning 💙. You may have heard me mention this 40 hr mental health crisis intervention training for police officers put on by Dallas PD. My role is to tell my personal story; this helps connect all of the information they receive through the training to the people that have lived through it. Today, as I was leaving, I had one officer stop to chat with me. He had his first rape case recently and wanted to know how best to address those situations in the future. What he ended with went something like this: I just wanted to ask you because it's not like I can go to another officer and they KNOW first hand what it's like to be in your shoes.
This reinforces what I say everytime when telling my story, "Ultimately, they (my various traumas) changed the course of my life, and whether that be good or bad is yet to be determined, but I will say I'm happy to be standing here today, able to tell my story. This has been a positive result of my life experiences." @namintx @namitexas @namicommunicate .
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I've been obsessively seeking a balance between playing it safe & following my heart. But I won't lie... it's been a slippery battle uphill. There's been a lot of falling & slipping back to the bottom. At the moment, I'm at a crossroad where I am very much seeking solid & flat ground.