Ok. I went through and typed out all of the symptoms I'm having that trouble me. I got some of them from bipolar symptoms lists, and depression symptoms lists... but, mostly I just thought of the things that I've been feeling. Does anyone else have these symptoms? Do you think itís relevant to bring all of these up to the counselor today? Let me know what you think please. Thanks guys. You are all so very helpful. From the looks of this list maybe I should add perfectionist... Good grief I alphabatized it!

No I say it is a valid list. But I would add some examples to personalize it a bit. I don't know if this would happen but I'd hate to think a counselor would look at the list and think you read some stuff on the internet and are convinced you have the symptoms via the power of suggestion (or were behaving as a hypocondriac). (Kinda like how everyone's horoscope perfectly matched their day because they are predisposed to believing it's true). Hope that helps.

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In haven't failed! I've accomplished much. I just found a lot ways that don't work . . . yet.

Thanks Reesie! I modified my list. Took off the physical ailments (headaches, etc) and added examples to every one. We'll see. If this is anal and being a perfectionist I don't know what is. I'm anxious to see her face when I march in there with a spreadsheet of my symptoms. haha Lets see, we can add OCD to the list. Oh well, I try and laugh about it. I just emailed the list to my hubby to see what he thinks and if he thinks I need to add anything. He has a whole different perspective of it than I do. The only thing is that I hope it doesn't upset him. It hurts him to see me hurt, and I don't tell him half the stuff that goes on in my head.
He said the list looks like everything he has observed. His exact words were: "Looking at that list...that is pretty much what I have seen as well...I think you have covered it all that i can think of. I would take it to them and see what they think about it....you shouldn't feel like that all the time. " He's so sweet to me. It's good to have a none BP person believe in you.
I'll let you know how it goes.

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A positive attitude wonít solve your probs, but it will annoy enough people to be worth the effort.

Well, I'm back. She didn't think that I'm bipolar. But, she is a conselor and does not have the authority to diagnos. She says she thinks I am battling with moderate to severe depression with anxiety. Which, is fine. These are all just labels really. All I know is that I feel like crap. She gave me some suggestions for some vitamins that might help,and told me to talk to my PCP about my meds. Then I go back to the counselor in 2 weeks for therapy. (will go weekly). I told her I was thinking of changing PCPs to get more help, and she seemed to think I was searching there. I got the impression she thought I should stick to one doc because I probably won't find whatever I'm looking for. Should I maybe go to a psychiatrist? They can at least prescribe medication. And, if I'm not bipolar, does that mean I can't come to the bipolar board anymore? I really like you guys here. Just wondering opinions.

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A positive attitude wonít solve your probs, but it will annoy enough people to be worth the effort.

Everybody is welcome at the boards, you should know that. At this point do what you are comfortable with (doctor wise). If you think you need a pdoc consult get one. If you want to try therapy and vitamins and see what happens, do that. You can always get second, third, forth, etc opinions later if you don't feel your symptoms are vanishing.

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In haven't failed! I've accomplished much. I just found a lot ways that don't work . . . yet.

Everybody is welcome at the boards, you should know that. At this point do what you are comfortable with (doctor wise). If you think you need a pdoc consult get one. If you want to try therapy and vitamins and see what happens, do that. You can always get second, third, forth, etc opinions later if you don't feel your symptoms are vanishing.

Yep, that is all very true. I just don't know what I'm going to do between now and then. I'm really struggling at work. I told my boss what is going on. I figured I'd warn her in case I lose it at my desk or something. It's just such a lonely disease ya know? I guess any mental illness is. Thanks though reesie. You always make me feel better.

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A positive attitude wonít solve your probs, but it will annoy enough people to be worth the effort.

Just a thought. I am a diagnosed "thorobred" (ha-ha) and by that I mean bipolar. I know its funny folks, but I have had to deal with this thing so long that I have found ways to hone the benefits. I am actually proud of the sensitivities (provided they don't turn and wound me) that often accompany the "diagnostic characteristics." You know what I mean, artsy, moody, etc. The good stuff.

But please remember if you think you may be bipolar that it often takes years to get a
diagnosis because things need to be watched and charted. I struggled with chemical dependency and did not recover until I heard the words "mood disorder" spoken by my pdoc 13 YEARS AGO. We have been working together ever since.

Yeah, I guess I could still be bipolar. The counselor just said that she didn't think I was because I don't remember the 2 psych docs I've been to saying anything about bipolar. But, it makes sense that it would be hard to diagnos. Like those stupid quizzes they have you fill out. I did that yesterday and she said I was testing high on the depression and anxiety but very low on the mania. Well, wouldn't that kind of depend on what cycle you're in? I know that I have definite periods where I feel and act completely different than others. Its so hard to explain. *sigh* Its getting old. Thats all I know. I think I'll call my pdoc and ask for the name of a psychiatrist she recommends. Maybe I can get in with them before the weekend. And I hope and pray that they are nice. I have had very bad luck w/ psychiatrists in the past.

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A positive attitude wonít solve your probs, but it will annoy enough people to be worth the effort.