in truth it won't last long because you guys are kind of my only hope for any consolation whatsoever.

I'd just like to say

Thank you for being my friend. I know we never got to be sisters. Or, at least, you never thought that. I always thought we were close enough to be. But you obviously don't think we have that bond. Which is okay with me. I'm fine with that, being like sisters has to go both ways for it to work. But I still consider you one of my family members. Thank you for being one.

Let's just say I lost someone in my.. other family. And I'm glad you all are still here in my family online.

-sighs- I know and I'm sorry I just think our relationship is different? I just get a bunch of best friend vibes from our relationship if that makes sense...I just feel like that's our bond and I don't know how else to view it...I'm trying,I really am..

I'm sorry for whatever happened Nora; know I'm here for you if you need anything, anything at all. Take it out on me if it helps it won't hurt me. Don't ever be afraid to ask something of me no matter how pathetic, ridiculous, or whatever it seems. I love you. :)

Don’t be sorry at all. If that’s how you feel, then that’s amazing. Sometimes you just need a best friend instead of a sister, anyway.

And I think I know what you mean about the vibes. We do have different conversations and act slightly differently than you act around Levi or Mariah.

I also feel like I know Lev pretty well, and Mariah and you, well, not as well. I hope there’s time to get to know you more, though.

My father isn’t with this world anymore. There, I said it. I got his sweater today that he always wore. The problem is whenever I hold it I smell the de () rugs that he left the world due to and I cry every time I smell it.

-hugs tightly- i'm so sorry Nora so so sorry. This is going to sound wrong to you but I wish I could relate because than I could say something more.. I love you and I believe you'll get through this, it's what our little family does. Oh snap I got it! This is totally inrelvant but it literally just popped into my head right now for some reason. We're cousins! That's our relationship! I consider you family but as a sister and ironically my best friend outside of here is my cousin. Sorry that kinda just ruined the whole heartfelt moment there... I guess it lightens the mood though XD

Well, I feel like you're good at making people feel good. You're the kind of person who, if you compliment someone or even say hi to them it just makes them feel important. I dunno. And you're a really great therapist. That sounds weird but if I ever have a problem I can talk to you. You're super loyal.

And I know that if I ever need an honest opinion on something, you'll be there. Everyone needs that kind of friend who doesn't just tell you what you want to hear. That's you, and that's really cool.

I think that you can’t stay if you’re not feeling like you’re family. I know a lot of people who have to live their lives as a sanctuary for other people, a break from the world to others. And sometimes that’s what people need. But at the same time you don’t want to be a break from their world, you want to be a part of their world.

And if you don’t feel like you are, let yourself not be, at least until everything’s okay again.

On the other hand, some people need you to fix their world. Which can be excruciating as well, if you’re tired of just fixing everyone else’s world when yours is broken.

I can’t give my opinion to you on what’s right. But what should be right is this family, and if you think it isn’t, that’s absolute amazing and unique that you recognized that and were able to do something about it.

My world isn't broken it's just chaotic..and lets just say I literally hid in a corner at my friend's birthday party because it was chaotic. I'm just spread to thin right now. I want to help that's all I've ever wanted..all I've ever wanted was to help people and keep them safe thus why law enforcement suits me well. But I don't feel like either one of them knows what a family is anymore..Mariah more then Mills. Which I guess is understandable but it has literally been over a year so you would think they would know and at first they did but it seems these past three two months they've idk lost the meaning of family someway somehow? -sighs- I'm not even included in the loop of things...neither does it seem they know me half the time... I'm not taking a break from the forums just them. It sounds really harsh and cold to me but I don't know what else to do to get them to understand...

They understand you. They just have different ways of going about it. But of course they care for the family. But sometimes when you're not in the same place, having the same life, they have to deal with things on their own. You too. And everyone deals with it differently.

If you're tired of trying to go through everything as a family, don't. It's not what families are made for. I think you deserve a break if you want one. As long as you'll come back.

Yeah I've been losing my mind, literally hearing voices in my head now, that's...interesting.... Stress 1000x, anxiety is off the charts, I talk to my family on here more then my family outside of here, and my relationship with my father is non-existent. What's this free time that people talk about? My days are chaotic. I really need a schedule but I don't have time to do that. I don't even have time to put things on my calender. Yeah I've just completly lost my mind. You?

Yeah. Agreed. I'm super stressed right now. My relationship with my father is dead. With my mother it's currently not that great. And I really severely severely severely severely dislike my little brother. I feel like I don't even have family I love anymore. It's not just that I don't feel emotion for them, I just feel empty all together. I couldn't care about how they felt about anything if I wanted to. Everything's empty.