Monday, December 13, 2010

Justification.

My streak has come to an end - or, it's at least on a hiatus. I'm a human with robot parts, not a machine, after all. There's a difference.

And it means that, lately, I'm slacking a bit in the blood testing department.

It wasn't a conscious decision. I had a busier day, which made it easy to fall out of my routine. Twelve tests a day became six, and then four. I've been leaning on Jim pretty heavily, and on most days, he's capable of picking up the slack for me. (And I'm ever-so-grateful to have him, even if he misbehaves sometimes.) Even though it wasn't my original intention, I can tell myself afterwards that I'm "just giving my fingers a break". You know, scar tissue build-up, and the like. My ability to justify my (in)actions is pretty developed.

But then, there's the guilt. Much as a parent might coax a child to finish their plate of food ("There are starving children in [insert name of third world country here]!"), I know that I am in a fortunate position. I don't have a shortage of test strips, and my current insurance company has never argued with me over how many strips I need. I know that isn't the reality for many, and sometimes I can talk myself into believing that I somehow am obligated to use all of these test strips I'm so fortunate to have.

Or do I need to hoard them for a while, to build up a supply, in case my situation reverses?

In any event, I know I need to get back on this horse. I need to use Jim for what he's intended for - trending information; and not for what I like to pretend he can do - like giving me accurate BG readings. He gave me a stark reminder of that difference yesterday, as he spent much of the morning and afternoon in a state of confusion. (When the Dexcom gives me the ??? display, I like to think that Jim's overworked, and needed a nap. Or maybe he's disoriented. Neither situation lends itself to blood sugar math, so I try to cut him a break.) It forced me to test more often, and I kind of went, "Oh yeah - this stuff. I'm supposed to be doing this all of the time."

3 comments:

Me, too. Except the last week, I went on vacation. My BG was out of whack the entire time - soul food is just not the same as greek yogurt and blueberries. Also, beer. I got mad at dex for yelling at me, turned him off, and he's been off for the last four days. I'm still only testing 4ish times a day...

I have to say I have been slacking too. But I do agree with C-sometimes you need a break since it's a constant in our lives-it helps with the craziness. As long as (we) hop back on....that's what's important.

Disclaimer.

I have absolutely no medical training of any kind. Nothing on this website should be used as medical or legal advice. Please talk to your physician first before making any changes to anything related to your health.