Hurricane Sandy: A What-to-Do Guide From SoFla to New York

Hurricane Sandy was downgraded to something called a post-tropical cyclone, which we think probably means "like a hurricane, except not."

Either way, Sandy was a menace.

Her post-tropical cycloneness slammed into the North Atlantic, leaving water and wind devastation all over parts of New York and New Jersey. Millions are without power, and at least 16 have died in New Jersey because of the storm.

New York was rocked by Sandy, leaving much of it in darkness, and reports of fires destroying homes, hospitals losing generator power, and seawater surging over streets have been rampant. Seawater even spilled into the World Trade Center Ground Zero pit.

We in SoFla know a thing or two about hurricanes and hurricane survival, post-tropical cyclone or not. Here now is a quick dos and don'ts list on how to handle things, from some who have been there.

*Bill Clinton voice*

We feel your pain, New York/New Jersey.

Some of this stuff seems like common sense, but it's worth repeating. We in South Florida know all too well the posthurricane hangover that hits us immediately after a storm. The noises and darkness are behind us, but then we're reeling because outside it suddenly looks like Godzilla dry-humped our neighborhood streets. All. Night. Long.

Do Not Go Check Out the Flooded Streets in Your Neighborhood
This seems like a no-brainer, but you'd be surprised. Even down here in SoFla, where these things happen all the time, there's still some goober who thinks it'll be clever to body-surf down Fifth Street or kayak to the nearest 7-Eleven. All kinds of shit (literally) is under that water: bacteria, dead animals, and, worse of all -- downed power lines. Don't be an asshole. Don't walk into a flooded area that has a downed power line and then die. Just stay inside and wait for the waters to recede.

Do Not Use a Generator Indoors
Again, a no-brainer. But many don't know that generators emit carbon monoxide. And carbon monoxide will make you really sleepy and then you'll lie down for a quick catnap and then you'll never, ever wake up. The same goes with a charcoal grill, in case you didn't know. Einstein.

Do Not Call 911
Unless you or someone around you is literally dying.

Do Stay Inside If You Can Help It
You might want to go survey the damage, or get some pics for to post on the Twitter machine. Best to wait for the "all clear." Aside from possible dangers, rescue workers probably need the roads clear so they can get to emergencies. Stay inside. Light a candle. Play with your cat. Read a book. Paint a picture. Whatever you gotta do.

Do Boil Some Water
This all depends on what your respective local authorities say, of course. But you may want to consider boiling some water so that you can bathe. You don't know how long you'll be without clean water or power. But you also don't want to smell like ass. Boil some water, put it in either a few empty bottles or even the tub, and use it sparingly. Trust us on this.

Do Be Patient
Power takes a while to be restored in these kinds of situations, and authorities usually go with a priorities list. Also, depending on the flooding and damage in your respective area as well as availability for officials to get there and fix things. Now's the time to break out the Pop-Tarts and beer, crack open a book, and just wait. Waiting blows ass. We who have survived many a hurricane and tropical storm know this. But it's all you can do. That and get to know your neighbors.