Foycast IV: The Foyth of July

To paraphrase Steve Martin in The Jerk, “The new Foycast is here! The new Foycast is here!”

How long has it been since the last edition of the Foycast? Too long. Wait no more. What better way to celebrate the Fourth of July than by listening to Foycast 4: The Foyth of July!

For over an hour yours truly and my partner-in-crime Uncle Creepy wax poetic about a wide range of topics: why it’s taken so long to get around to another doing another installment of the Foycast, funny tales of my days as a casino employee, the remakes of Prom Night and One Missed Call, fallout from my review of The 13th Alley, the ordeal I went through just to see that movie in the first place, the addictiveness of playing Uno on Xbox Live, Johnny Butane’s oriental fashion sense, certain “classic” movies airing on TCM and AMC, Creepy declaring his love for a little seen zombie flick called The Chilling, my attempt to explain the kooky badness of an equally little seen slasher flick called Freeway Maniac, and swapping stories about the horror that is Waffle House.

Plus, as an extra added bonus you’ll get my dramatic recounting of the motion picture Never Back Down, my singing debut, and MASTER CONTROL!

No more asking when the new Foycast is coming. It’s here! Now get listening!

Foywonder

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Not trying to come off like “Stan” by Eminem here, but damn, whenever I have a shitty day at work, coming home to a new DFF or Foycast sure makes the day a little better. And you know what, it doesn’t even have to be a new episode, really. The old ones hold up really well in their own right.

Thank you , Foy and Creepy for making these things so AWESOME.

Oh, and that whole “Nice” thing almost got me busted at work the other day. I was stocking beer in the walk in cooler at a Sherm’s Thunderbird market, and in order to do the Hamm’s beer which is on the top rack, I had to climb up on top of the rack and reach under it. Well, about this time, this chick with AMAZING cleavage opened the cooler door and reached in to grab a twelve pack of beer. Blown away by the sheer size of her boobs, and the outstanding view of her cleavage, my higher brain patterns shut down, and the first thing that popped into my head ended up being the first thing to leave my lips: a near perfect impression of Uncle Creepy’s “NICE!” impersonation.

Well, I said it a little louder than I intended to, and this chick looks around, turning a full circle trying to find out where this came from….before looking straight up at where I would have been, had self preservation not kicked in and told me to roll two feet to the right, where I would be obscured by an angle iron. I stayed there for a good twenty minutes, just to be sure that she had left, before finishing stocking the Hamm’s and getting the hell out of there.

Uncle Creepy

NIIIICCCCEEEEE!

Blockbuster

Ok…I stand corrected. “You don’t smell like you belong here.” THAT is awesomesauce.

Blockbuster

Heheheh…

Spaceshark

Foy has a fucking sexy voice.

Foywonder

I’m hoping you’re a girl saying this and not that guy from the Waffle House.

Spaceshark

Well, the good news is I’m not the guy from the Waffle House.

Chainsaw

What’s the deal with guys in Waffle Houses, huh? I had a friend who had some creepy dude come up to her in a Waffle House and say “You don’t smell like you belong here.”

Shit like that makes me not want to go back to the Waffle House.

Sam Hell

Why, do you not smell like you belong there too?

PelusaMG

So what’s the story with that guy from the Waffle House?

Jerel Of The Dead

Another good Foycast, I can’t wait for the next on. Even if it is 4 months from now. On the bright side Being Blind Is Lots Of Fun!

Uncle Creepy

Being blind! Being bliiiiiiiiind!

Lex Bastard

If Dread Central was a male pornstar, its name would be Clyde Nice.

Uncle Creepy

You know … that’s pretty fucking hot!

MagusMaleficus

Oh, and for the record: I die very quickly in GTA IV multiplayer, too. But, like Creepy, I enjoy Free Mode quite a lot.

MagusMaleficus

Don’t worry, sweet cheeks, I won’t call you any name you don’t want to hear. Heh, sweet cheeks…

Foywonder

No problem. I’m just fully expecting a wave of people calling me “Clyde” now because of that story about the drunk lady. That drunk woman was probably the single most obnoxious person I ever had to payout during my casino days. The worst being the woman who began scolding me because she thought I paid out her money too hard. She claimed I slammed the cash down too hard on the counter when I paid her and was being rude. Then she silently stood off to the side for five minutes giving me the stink eye. To this day I’m still not entirely sure how you can “slam” individual pieces of paper money in an offensive manner. Turned out this crazy woman had done the same thing to another cashier when she cashed a check.

bulletcrazy

Sorry foy, I couldn’t help it.
In truth you’re my favorite contributor on this website by far. God these things are hilarious.