Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Still leading the league in phlegmy goiterisms…the latest shot from Beano.

Beano Cook: Good afternoon. Welcome back to my chat. In the last Saturday of September and it was glorious because there are five Saturdays of college football. We are now nearing the end of the baseball season, a sport America somewhat ignores once football gets here. If there is nothing else on TV, then some people may turn to the playoffs.

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Take gambling out of the equation and let's see how much more popular football is than baseball. I'm a baseball fan first, but I love college and pro football. However, I think all of these idiots like Beano who spout how much better football is than baseball because more people watch choose to ignore the dirty little 'secret' that without gambling, football wouldn't be as popular as it is.

Beano was on ESPN radio several 4, 5 years ago, doing a segment with Jason Jackson, talking about how much more egalitarian college football's BCS season was compared to baseball's wild card system. I emailed in to point out that over half the teams at the time (late August or so), that over a third of the teams in the league still had a shot at a post-season berth.

They read the email on air, at which point Beano proceeded to trash baseball because the Pirates were always out of it. When asked how many college football teams had a realistic shot at the national championship, he said, and I'm serious, fifty.

I emailed in to point out that <strike>over half the teams at the time (late August or so), </strike>that over a third of the teams in the league (late August or so) still had a shot at a post-season berth.

Beano's an idiot. It sure is fun to listen to him talk about the greatness of Notre Dame and Army.

My favorite Beano Cook moment was from 1997. When Beano said there is no way, not possible, never going to happen, that MIchigan could go into Happy Valley and beat a Joe Paterno coached team. Never. Cause NO ONE beats Paterno.

Michigan won 34-8 in what was the biggest beat down to Paterno in Happy Valley ever.

Beano Cook: Good afternoon. Welcome back to my chat. In the last Saturday of September and it was glorious because there are five Saturdays of college football. We are now nearing the end of the baseball season, a sport America somewhat ignores once football gets here. If there is nothing else on TV, then some people may turn to the playoffs.

People ignore baseball so much that I'd be shocked if more people didn't go to MLB then D1-A college football and the NFL combined.

Oh, I didn't think about the Notre Dame connection. Maybe the midget was really a leprechaun.

BEANO COOK WITH A LEPRECHAUN, that's something people would probably want to see. Especially Notre Dame fans. They need something this year to fill the time normally occupied by obsessing about football.

What about BEANO COOK WITH NAKED CHARLIE WEIS? Toss in a leprechaun, a picture of Brady Quinn not throwing an interception (assuming you can find one), some green beer, and an unwarranted pre-season poll ranking and you've got the full ND recruit party package right there.

I bet. I'd love to be there for the OSU game. The tailgating alone is going to be legendary, what with it being a night game and all. A perfect day to start drinking around 10 AM - you could get drunk, come down, and still be a little buzzed by the time the game starts.

What's funny is that I've always thought that if COLIN COWHERD were GAY, BEANO COOK would be his GAY LOVER. and COLIN COWHERD always struck me as REALLY GAY. Can you imagine if a NUDE COLIN COWHERD and BEANO COOK were NAKED together?

I searched for "Beano Cook naked" and got one result, and it wasn't this page. It was the Illinois football scout.com site.

I guess those guys are pretty excited after beating Michigan State last week.

Haha. Which engine? Yahoo hits both; neither MSN nor Google hit the scout.com site. (By the way, the reference is to the 2004 Minnesota/Northwestern game: "This game will be more offensive than seeing ESPN football expert Beano Cook naked.")