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Vice principal: Principal! Some kids have just broken out of here, armed with imaginary firearms!

Principal: All right, stay calm everyone, and break out the imaginary body armour. Not that one, you fool – that’s just an imaginary stab-proof vest from kindergarten – it won’t stop a bullet! And bring the Pokémon card destructor with us, just in case.

Jake: Er… that’s just a lunchbox with “POKÉMON DESTRUCTOR” written on the side in marker pen, and one of those zapper sound effect keyrings taped to the top!

Principal: It never fails! It has an effective range of 5 miles, and it is so effective that we’ve never had to use it! Now, everyone kitted up? Then – to the imaginary Humvee!