Comments (166)

I also just have to add, a lot of the comments about those of us who have husbands who aren't Christians is pretty condescending, you make it seem like we all have awful marriages, having such a tough time & our DH's are beneath us or not good men. I'm sorry but how many posts have we seen on here of women whose Christian husband has the porn addiction, or cheated on them, or know of a Christian couple having an affair etc?

I have struggles in my marriage like anyone else but I know 100% for sure that he is the one for me, that he gets me like no one else & that we both change each other for the better, that we make sacrifices & compromises for each other, that he is totally supportive of my relationship with God, that we tell each other everything, that he is probably way closer to loving unconditionally & forgiving like Jesus than I am and that I could learn a lot from him. Will my burden now be to help him to have a relationship with God instead of just believing in Him? & to truly understand what it means to be a Christian & start this journey that I have started on? Yes, but I love him soooo much that it isn't really a burden to me, it's an honor & I can't wait to see what happens & how much better our relationship can be with God in both our lives. Sorry this is way OT, but since a pp had to bring it into the mix, I felt it necessary to put it out there.

I think a lot of you are fooling yourselves and thinking that an affair could never happen to you. IT CAN IT DOES, DONT BE STUPID. I have seen it happen to super strong christians with amazing faith, PEOPLE ARE FLAWED AND HUMAN, WE TALK OURSELVES INTO STUPID STUFF ALL THE TIME. Thinking that it cant happen to you because of your faith in God is just ignorant and satan can and will use that against you....he wants to break up our homes, he wants to see christians destroyed. If the husband is not comfortable with the situation she needs to drop it, pray of course for him to either become comfortable or for maybe a different situation to come along but drop it.

People are not so far away from this sin as you think you are. You need to protect yourself and your marriage and your family. Going on tour with men is not smart. Putting yourself in that situation is just stupid. I do not think this is something that God would want you to do to a marriage, I believe he wants us to protect our marriage.

REmember David...Kind David....in God's own words, a man after his own heart.....what happened to him??? Oh yeah...an affair...then he killed a man to cover it and had a baby...that died...because of his sin. IF David can be fooled into adultery, no one is safe. Ladies please do not think just because you are a christian nothing like this can happen to you, it happens all the time to everyone!

There are scriptures which say that God is the head of the man, man is the head over the wife. And there are scriptures saying children should obey their parents, and parent should not exasperate their children. Another says that our love for Christ should make our love for others look like hatred. That we should be willing to give up our families for Christ--but the letters from Paul make it clear that it shouldn't be our aim to rip apart our families, and that the division from family should not originate with the Christian. That we should expect persecution from family/friends, but we shouldn't try to distance ourselves from them, unless they are bringing us down and causing us to sin. But to my knowledge, there is nothing that actually gives a list in order of who we should love/care for.

My husband is a musician so you have to understand where I'm coming from.

I'm done with this post. I am not stupid and far from it and I know that just because they;re Christian doesn't mean they cant'sin, but that if they are Christian, they should hopefully be having higher standards than someone who is not and that if she has enough temperance and control, she will not cheat on her husband. He needs to trust her also.

Jess- Saying that someone won't be tempted if they are strong in their faith is ridiculous. Jesus Himself was tempted. God permits temptation. Our job is to take ourself out of situations where we are likely to be.

"...do not give the devil a foothold." Don't put yourself in compromising situations. Don't do things that might cause people to question your testimony. Traveling along with a group of men without your husband= unwise. Doesn't matter if it's Christian. Pastors themselves have cheated on their wives. How does that happen? Usually it's because they put themselves in a situation where it can and then they think highly of themselves that they would never do that, and then guess what? The do!

I shared this thread with my DH. He's a man of few words and this is what he said, "If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand" Mark 3:25. I think I have a wise DH. : )

This is the New Living Translation version of the same verse "Similarly a family splintered by feuding will fall apart"

It's ultimately our choice as wives what we will do. We are never called to sin against God in order to submit to our husbands. No one has said that. We are called to surrender our will to God and one of the ways that we do that is to submit to our husbands. If we don't and we go against his wishes especially in regards to decisions about our families, God promises us that our families will fall apart.

I just don't see how it can be clearer than that. Someone on here who makes their own decisions and goes against the wishes of their husbands and is in a happy and contented marriage please step in and prove me wrong.

you make it seem like we all have awful marriages, having such a tough time & our DH's are beneath us or not good men.

Who has said that? Those who are saying wives ought to submit? Personally, I find that stance pretty contradictory to submission, so I'd never want to imply that... I'm sorry if any comments made you feel that way, but I'm certain that wasn't the intent at all. If anything, I think the non-believing husbands need more building up and more "sweetness" to further the wife's witness and to bring the husband closer to Christ. And ultimately, that's everyone's goal: to bring others closer to Christ, even if they are already a Christian.

Ladies please do not think just because you are a christian nothing like this can happen to you, it happens all the time to everyone!

I've seen it happen to a worship leader. And a pastor. It ain't pretty.

Yikes. Ok, OP, I don't think the band is a good idea. Christians are not exempt from falling into temptation. Your husband doesn't want you to. Even if you throw the bible/Christianity/etc aside, it's disrespectful to hang out with a bunch of guys when your husband has expressed his discomfort with it.
My dream is to be a SAHM. For a year I was miserable because that is all I wanted. I prayed that God would open up a window where we could make it happen. Finally (with the help of my mom) I realized it was I who needed an attitude adjustment. Once I started praying that God give me contentment in my current situation, I all of a sudden didnt mind working anymore. It is still my dream to be a SAHM, and I do believe it will happen someday, but now is not that day and I am on with waiting until God directs me to be at home.

I read through this entire thread and I never once saw anyone say to submit to your husband when he is telling you to do something that is directly against the word of God. And I whole heartedly agree that we are to submit to our husbands unless they are telling us to SIN.
And this thread has also opened my eyes and I believe I need to be a more submissive wife, so, thanks! :)

Off-topic, but...This whole discussion brings to mind the thread posted a week or two ago about marrying a non-Christian and being sure in her heart of hearts that the unsaved person was the "right one" - I wish that poster could see this thread.

The heart is so easily deceived. Stand on the Word, ladies. Everything else is sinking sand.

Ladies, this is yet another reason why one should think very carefully before being unequally yoked with an unbeliever, and pray earnestly for our Sisters who came to faith after marriage and now are struggling with their submission and spiritual headship as well. May they be truly blessed for trying to be the salt and light to their husbands in such difficult circumstances.

I coudln't remember who said it or when but found it, this is what I was referring to....sounds like we're being chastised for marrying non-believers. Well, I was kind of a non-believer myself when we got married. That is all.